Coffee Break: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

OK, I’m not normally one to recommend shows, but this one is too good not to. She’s a kick-ass lawyer! She dresses well (for work at least)! She’s crazy in a way that seems so, so, SO familiar! The show is hilarious, and I highly recommend. You can buy episodes online at Amazon for $1.99-$2.99 each. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

I applied to a dream job twice. Both times they hired people from out of city (and had to cover their moving expenses and in one case bar call costs). Each time they told me they hired someone more suitable for the position (the people that were hired were polar opposites, one very senior with relevant experience, one very junior with no experience). Neither hire worked out. I’m probably dumb enough to apply a third time. However at this point I’m pretty sure they just don’t like me.

For those of you that live in large-ish apartment buildings (30+ units), do you have things like security cameras installed? I’m wondering if I should get one of these cameras that links to phone apps for times when I’m travelling. I doubt I’d get a full on burglar, but we do have cat sitters come in and the building supervisors have keys too. Too paranoid?

I live in a ~40 unit building in Chicago. The building got security cameras after a break-in. They’re mainly a deterrent because 1) the resolution and vantage point conspire against getting a good shot of someone’s face and 2) even a mug shot of a trespasser is of limited use unless someone happens to recognize the person. In the case of the Boston Marathon bombings the police compared images from the scene to to DMV photos but it was a huge operation (both in terms of people and computing power) and will not be replicated for a small apartment break-in.

Yes – I live in Chicago in a highrise. We had a break-in when we lived in our previous condo building in a very safe neighborhood (think Gold Coast/Streeterville) with 24-hr doorman and key fob entry only. We’ve tried a couple different systems, but are really happy with Canary. It sends push notifications to your cell phone when it detects motion, sound, or light changes and the quality of video is incredible. Great for peace of mind, esp if you have housecleaners, building maintenance, or dog walkers that have access to your unit.

Does anyone have a funnel neck hoodie that they love? I would like a fitted one with front pockets. I thought Athleta had one that was exactly what I was looking for, but the one on their site now isn’t quite it. I would like one without a major logo (looking at you Nike) and that is soft. Any recs are greatly appreciated!

I ordered something like this yesterday from Old Navy (I think it had pockets — there were many options on the site). I have last year’s Athleta one and do with it had pockets. Maybe Gap also b/c they’re in the same corporate family?

Thanks guys. The LE one is not as substantial as I am looking for, but maybe could work. I am looking for something exactly like this but am suspicious of this company http://www.rotita.com/pocket-design-army-green-hooded-sweats-g135949.html?currency=USD&gclid=CjwKEAiAmqayBRDLgsfGiMmkxT0SJADHFUhPPnvudHwpZBlvRg2jsK_niNCQrPJStQJPOo9Xr87ucxoCyBTw_wcB

Just bought one from JCrew Factory that fits the bill but can’t find it online. If you have a factory store near you though, they have them in several colors (dark grey, light grey, off-white, maybe a navy).

Does anyone know how to manage two Instagram accounts from one device without logging in and out each account within the app each time? I’ve read that there might be an app that allows a second account to run in the background, but I can’t put my finger on it.

Yea, I have that app and what you’re describing is what I’m trying to avoid. I’m looking for something that lets you run them simultaneously…. I’d like to think that something like that exists, but I could be way off.

I’ve been looking, but even Hootsuite only gives you a notification that you have to be in the right Instagram account to post. I think it’s a flaw of the Instagram app, not that something hasn’t been created yet.

Can anyone suggest a christmas gift for a pregnant sister in law? She works from home for an athletic clothing company so she has all the comfy stretchy clothes she needs, and I’d like to get her something nice for her- not for the baby necessarily. Nothing to personal- her husband is married to mine, and we dont know each other as well as I’d like, but I’d love to do something really nice for her. I’d love your thoughts!

As a currently pregnant person, things I would appreciate would be: Prenatal massage, gift card to restaurant/amazon/clothing store (maternity or not), or a pregnancy pillow if she doesn’t have one already

Scarves or costume jewelry (i.e. accessories that are not size-dependent) to jazz up a limited maternity (and post-partum) wardrobe. If she does not have a Kindle, I think that is the perfect gift for maternity leave (i.e., read books one handed). Gift certificate for a nice bra store (type where you get fittings) for either a nursing bra or after you wean the baby.

My sister in law gave me a cozy robe to wear in the hospital and had it monogrammed with my initials. Maybe you could look at some suggested lists of things for moms to take to the hospital or to have for after birth– some of them are more clinical than you’ll want to gift her, but there might be some good ideas on those kinds of lists.

Babies R Us has these necklaces that are chunky and cute that are safe for the baby to chew on. They have pearl shaped ones and then some ones with different size pieces and I thought the latter were really cute. They are like $40. I hadn’t seen that too much and my friend loved it. I got it for her when she was 3 weeks out from baby, on her b-day.

Passes are nice. Like to museums or to yoga studios or places she will go on Mat leave. Stuff like classes too if she is interested. It’s so boring being on Mat leave… I was so excited when I had anything to go to or to do or when anyone visited. At the beginning baby just sleeps and you have nothing to do.

I’ve been at my current (small) firm for almost three years. For the first two years, I never had enough work to do to make my hours. I have no idea why they didn’t fire me, but they didn’t. Things started picking up around the 2 year mark, and for the last six months I’ve been consistently the most busy associate in the office. In our office with 5 associates and 4 partners, where most people clear out at 5:30 or 6, I’m there until 8 or 9 pm 3 or 4 nights a week.

I’m typically in the top half of associates in terms of billables, but not the top, largely because: I don’t pad my hours like some of the other associates; I’m the lowest on the totem pole, so if someone comes in while I’m in a meeting with a partner I get to sit and wait while they talk (this accounts for a good half hour or more a day); and we’ve lost half of our admin staff in the past year, and because I never got into the habit of using the admin staff while we had them, so I’m still doing a lot of my own admin work.

None if this would bother me, if it weren’t for the fact that multiple times a week at least one of my bosses implies that I’m lazy because I haven’t gotten their thing done yet. Every time I try to get the partners to discuss priorities with each other, I get “well, that’s what the weekends are for” or “I guess it’s going to be a late night for you”. But since everyone else leaves so much earlier than I do, I don’t think anyone understands that I am working late most nights.

I know by Biglaw standards the hours I’m working aren’t that crazy. But I never applied for Biglaw jobs because I knew I didn’t have the stamina for those hours, and I’m not making a Biglaw salary. I think I’m more worn down knowing that I’m going to get a bad review for not getting things done fast enough, and by the constant comments about how lazy I am, than anything else.

I know the answer is that I should probably start looking for a new job, but I don’t know that anyplace else will be any better, and I don’t want to jump from the frying pan into the fire. Plus, we’re in a niche practice area, and I do really like the work itself, but no one else in my geographic region does similar work.

I guess what I’d really like to know is, is this just what it’s going to be like practicing law or is there a chance I could go somewhere else and be happier?

It sounds like you’re at a terrible firm. No offense but seriously… sounds awful. First, if everyone else is padding their hours, why aren’t you? Second, if you have to wait for a partner, why aren’t you (a) able to do other work in the mean time or (b) billing the client for that time? That’s time that you can’t work on any other case because you have to meet with the partner about one particular case. In any event, definitely interview somewhere else, where there is adequate support staff at least! Women do NOT get extra points for working hard when nobody can see you.

What on earth, no do not pad your hours just because everyone else does.

As to point (b), OP needs to be more assertive. Don’t sit there for 30 minutes DAILY while other people talk. Excuse yourself and ask the partner to call you back when she’s ready. Or close the partner’s door when you meet with her so you won’t get interrupted (as much). You can’t let people waste your time like that.

Bee: I’ve tried everything I can to cut down on the time I spend waiting. The partners will not call me back if I leave, they’ll forget about it and then I’ll get yelled at for not being proactive about reminding them. One of the partners, whenever you come in to talk to him, will finish up whatever he’s doing (3-5 minutes) before he acknowledges you at all regardless of whether you’ve made an appointment to talk to him ahead of time or not. Unless you’re one of the other partners or the (male) associate he’s really good friends with.

I’ve worked at a firm like this, and it was a smaller firm where every partner had a general billable number (I’ve heard this referred to as a “development” matter, “miscellaneous”, “general accounts” and so on) that they used to bill initial client meetings before the client officially retained the firm and had its own C/M# set up. The number was also used for the partner to bill expenses related to giving speeches, taking referral sources out to lunch, etc. If associates billed time to this account (for example, to sit in on a new client consult that never became a client), the partner had to write it off. The associate got credit for the hours, and the partner’s reports showed that he or she was “using” associates without collecting for it.

It became the culture for associates to bill the partner’s account for time spent sitting in a partner’s office waiting–this is definitely a KYO thing and even moreso, KYP, because there was one partner who would get upset if we did this and engaged in accounting maneuvers to make sure the time disappeared without counting against him and without the associate getting credit–but I would do some casual chatting with the other associates to see if they’re doing this as one of the ways they’re “padding” their hours.

sorry, I do not think it is unethical “padding” to charge for 5 minutes when you are waiting for a partner to acknowledge your existence. it is time that you are sitting there thinking about the case, unable to do any other work. nor is it “padding” to allocate time to a matter that includes bathroom breaks or other normal human functions. also, you should not be cutting your own time — bill for however long things take, not how long you (or a partner) think they should take. it is partner’s job to cut time if he thinks it is attributable to learning curve or otherwise thinks the client shouldn’t be charged. if your admin staff is inadequate, think hard about whether some of those admin tasks should be billable. for example, if you are not billing for typing or editing letters or briefs, you probably should be if there isn’t anyone else to do it for you. its work for a case that has to get done, and if there are only lawyers available to do it, that’s not your fault. overall, there is a difference between billing for time that you are simply not working (or double-billing) and billing for time that you actually were at work, working on that case, but may not have been 100% productive doing high level legal research/analysis tasks every second of that time. it sounds like what the others are doing may be the former, but that perhaps OP isn’t doing the latter and is suffering for it (IMHO) unnecessarily.

that said, it sounds like either the culture is awful or there is a negative perception of you, whether or not deserved, that you are not able to shake. i might look to move out of firm life entirely, at least for a while. some time outside of law firm life might help both to get you out of a vicious cycle of dealing with billables and being unappreciated, as well as getting you into a situation where you might have more control/responsibility for your work. maybe take a look at gov’t and public interest work? good luck!!

Are the other associates coming in earlier? Are they working from home? Are they more productive in the office? (I know I waste over 2 hours a day on lunch, chatting, going online. Others in my office don’t) It’s possible they are padding their hours, but seem a lot more likely that they are doing work that you just don’t know about.

Having said that, I don’t think there is much you can do to change the dynamic. It sounds like normal life at a law firm.

It does not sound normal to me to consistently be the last person in the office by more than 3 hours and not be getting rewarded for it (or at least not yelled at). I would definitely look elsewhere OP. If you go to Big Law you will have similar or worse hours but you will get way more money and everyone else will be in the same boat, which should help a lot with morale.

What I take from your post is that you work in a firm that treats the “lowest on the totem pole” as the one who works the longest, does not get to say no or complain, is the butt of jokes and gets no respect (including the respect you’ve duly earned) simply by virtue of her position. It’s annoying and unfair and if you don’t like it, you can either try to find somewhere else or push back at your own peril. Success with the latter approach is likely to be directly proportional to your people skills/cleverness/sense of humor. Or you can stick it out and eventually you won’t be the lowest on the totem pole. At that point you can also try to change the culture, but good luck with that.

I’ve just gotten into it, too. Really ridiculous and funny, and I have a real soft spot for musical comedy (yes, it’s a musical). The lead actress is excellent. BTW, I’ve been watching it for free on the CW app on my ipad.

I still chuckle everytime I think about “The Sexy Gettin’ Ready Song.”

We’re flying with a 3.5 year old and a toddler (who’s currently very clingy towards me) for Thanksgiving. Everyone is getting their own seat. I can’t decide what seating arrangement will be best, any suggestions?
I’m thinking either: 2 by 2 across the aisle from each other, or 2 by 2 sitting in front/behind each other (e.g. row 31 A, B and 32 A, B.)

What has worked best for everyone else? The last time we flew with 4, one was still lap sitting.

I’m not a parent but kids always seem to be interested in what the other kid is doing. I’d suggest kid in window seat, parent in middle, kid in aisle, other parent across the aisle. Then when the kid inevitably wants the other parent he/she can be handed across or the parents can swap seats. The kids can still interact with one another across the parent or the parent can swap with kid as needed. I think having one full aisle to yourself would be a big benefit rather than having to protect a strangers space in the third seat.

Ha! I’ve actually seen this arrangement. Only one kid though. When he Would Not Stop Screaming as we taxied for takeoff, a flight attendant came over and asked the mother if there was something that would help, like a cookie. Mom said “he just wants his daddy, who is in business class”. Voila! One screaming child delivered by the flight attendant to dad in business class!

Agree with the whole row. The flight attendants will most likely make the adult take the aisle seat for safety reasons. So it would be mom on aisle, dad across the aisle, and the two wee ones in the middle and window next to either the mom or dad (I vote dad).

Oh please, get over yourself. Kids have to travel for all kinds of reasons – family weddings, funerals, cross-country moves. And parents don’t’ really have any control over whether the kid decides to be cranky on the day they have to fly. (I’m not a parent FWIW)

Kids are a decision. You live with the consequences of your decisions for where you work, where you live, who you date and marry – so, a consequence might be driving everything for the first 10-12 years. Or not having kids.

I am childless and fly cross country weekly for work, and this comment is completely absurd. From my hundreds of thousands of miles of air travel in, the vast majority of children on planes are completely fine. Even those that annoy me I understand are fine.

You’re making a choice to go on a public plane where any type of unplesant human interaction can occur. Let me assure you, grown adults have caused infinitely more unpleasantness on planes for me than any child.

The problem here isn’t with kids. It’s with parents who don’t know their kids and/or don’t parent appropriately. I’ve sat next to well behaved children on transcontinental flights. And I’ve had my seat kicked through a 2 hour delay and an entire flight to Disney World. I was a child once, of course, but my parents made it clear that manners were never optional.

As a non parent I was once kicked for half an hour before the flight attendants were willing to move me. At that point I realized that the kids dad was seated close by on the plane (and would have heard my repeated requests to be moved) and instead of switching seats with me and getting kicked himself, he did nothing to help me, his frustrated kid or his wife. The person to be annoyed with- if anyone- is the useless dad. Not the mom who was tired and doing her best or the toddler.

we always do 3 and 1, with the 1 on the aisle. I never wanted my kids to have to sit with someone else. I’ve also never had a flight attendant make an adult take the aisle seat on the 3 side — usually an adult sits in the middle to avoid fighting.

Thanks all! 3 in one row with 1 parent across the aisle was my original proposal, but my husband was worried that’s too much work for the person with the 2 kids. Because the toddler is in a clingy phase, it would leave me sitting with 2 kids the whole time, or listening to her cry while I sat across the aisle.

I hadn’t thought about the chair-kicking issue, that always drove me crazy, so I’m especially sensitive to it now.

How does Lo and Sons do on repairs for their bags, if any? I have the Brookline and the metal clip on the one side is starting to space apart, which means it can easily fall off the bag. It’s a little over a year old.

I had a similar problem with my OG. I took pictures and emailed them to Lo and Sons and asked them if they could repair it since I loved the bag and it was otherwise in good condition. They were not able to offer a repair, but they instead offered to send me a new bag (they had me send back the old bag so that they could take it to the manufacturer and figure out what went wrong). Their customer services was seriously awesome.

Same experience. I had a little cross body (can’t remember what it was called–they don’t still make it). The zipper pull came off. I sent them an email with pictures, and they sent me a new bag ASAP. Fabulous customer service.

I’m planning to ask my former boss for a letter of recommendation for grad school. I’m still at the same company, different dept. Should I schedule a catch up meeting and ask in person or email? I want to give him some time to think about it but I also don’t want him to say no too easily by email). What’s the best way to ask?

Ladies who “perspire”, especially those who suffer from overheatedness related to anti depressants or other mental health medications
What’s your go to antiperspirant /deodorant? I’m in the south so it’s worse, and even in the “cooler” weather o still suffer.

I had used Secret for years, but it suddenly wasn’t working. Just changed to the Degree Motion Sense and love it. And love how it smells. I was afraid I was going to have to go back to Certain-Dri treatments, but thus far the Degree has handled it.

I went from using Certain Dri to using an all-natural deodorant cream. It took a couple brands and different formulations to find what works for my body chemistry, but Bubble & Bee deodorant was the winner. The cream works better for me than their pit putty stick. And a quick wipe down with rubbing alcohol before applying any deodorant is also a helpful tip to kill that smelly bacteria.