I am reading this right, aren’t I? Did a young pop singer called Justin really get accused of using a restaurant mop bucket instead of the toilet? What is that all about? For a start, any self respecting restaurant should be keeping their mops and buckets well out of the way of their VIP millionaire visitors. However, perhaps more important is the question of what else we could do with a mop bucket we have to stumble across.

Perhaps we could turn it into a piece of thought provoking modern art. All we would need to do is throw some paint at it, flood it with landscape lighting and let people scratch their heads at it and marvel at such daring creativity.

Alternatively, I could fill it with apple cider vinegar and use it to put the dressing onto my salad. This would be astonishingly cool but I would need to be very careful to check that there was no other liquid in it before I added my dressing. Maybe one of those scarily trendy restaurants could use these buckets to intimidate their diners even more. Can you imagine finding a mop bucket on the table and being too embarrassed to ask what on Earth it was for.

Do you use valances for windows? If you do then you could make your windows look even better by getting Mr Bieber to stand behind them and mop your floor before cleaning the windows. That’s the kind of community service punishment he deserves for what he allegedly did.

Have you ever slept on top of a mop bucket? If you haven’t then I can heartily recommend it as a way of living life on the edge. Just put a pillow top mattress on top of it and then settle down for a good night’s sleep. The only suggesation I would make is that you check that a certain baby faced Canadian pop star didn’t get there before you.

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