F1 gossip – Bahrain 2018

All the gossip and rumour from the F1 paddock ahead of this weekend's race

Mercedes have explained Lewis Hamilton’s sensational qualifying pace in Melbourne. “Before the final run we simply put a picture of a tax inspector on his mirrors,” explained an insider.

Valtteri Bottas arrived in Bahrain explaining away his error in qualifying for the Australian Grand Prix. “I had a pretty crazy night the night before,” he told reporters. “I must have drunk almost 0.4 litres of cola-style beverage and I did not get to bed until 10:05pm.”

Fernando Alonso has admitted he was pleased with McLaren’s pace in Australia but that it caught him off guard. “I actually let a Sauber go past me,” he confessed in a Bahrain press chat. “Just for old time’s sake”.

Haas has arrived in Bahrain determined not to repeat the wheel nut fiasco that ruined their weekend in Australia. “It’s okay,” explained an insider. “We’ve glued them on now. What…?”

Organisers of the Bahrain race admit that F1’s decision to get rid of grid girls has left them in a tricky position. “We had 100 pretty women all ready to go and now we have nothing to do with them,” admitted an official. “So we’ve just had to stone them to death”.