I sent in my application to Hogwarts once. I tied it to a pigeon. Six weeks later, I was so excited when the mailman delivered my admissions letter it that I forgot that it was supposed to come via owl. It was also strange that an admissions letter would start by clearly stating I was banned from Amtrak stations due to repeated attempts to push shopping carts through walls. Oh, well. My overprotective uncle whisked the letter away before I could respond. At least the next best thing is this Harry Potter box set with all eight movies for $30 so I can still pretend.

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