The time I almost kidnapped a baby (for her own good).

She asked me to watch her daughter for a while so she could go out with some friends. I love that little girl so of course I agreed. She needed me to pick her up straight from work because that’s where her parents were dropping the munchkin off and she’d be leaving from there. No problem. I got to work, we work together, and I couldn’t find her anywhere. But then, I looked in the office and the baby was sitting there curled up in her car seat on the couch. I picked her up and continued to look for her mommy. She was nowhere to be found and her car wasn’t in the parking lot. Our bosses were also coming in to have a meeting so I knew I needed to get out of there, stat.

I packed up all of her stuff and took her to my mom’s house. When I told my mom the strange story, she was in the kitchen and barely listening, she just shrugged and made some excuse as to why she’d left. Then my baby brother started crying. I had both babies, one on each hip, and my stepfather in my ear telling me to get them to quiet down. I snuggled my friend’s baby down into her bouncy seat with a bottle and she went quiet right away. She always was a good baby. My brother had to be held while he was fed or he’d never eat. When they were done eating I decided to go over to my friend’s house and see if her parents knew anything.

When I got there, all hell was breaking loose. She was at the neighbors house. They wouldn’t let me in because she didn’t want to see me. I assumed it was because she was on drugs. I put the baby down with her grandpa and started grabbing whatever I could carry from her room and packing it into my car. There was no way I was letting that baby stay with my friend. But before I left, I decided to giver her one last chance. At this point, the neighbors, who were a big, scary group of guys, were damaging my car as a scare tactic. I went over and started talking to the guy at the door. He seemed like he was in the mood to flirt with me so I decided to see if I could get any information out of him by flirting back. He didn’t give me anything, but I asked him to give me his number and I held up my leg for him to write it on. He liked that. He grafitti-ed his name all the way down my leg…