Atlanta Braves Don't Need A Mascot

Atlanta has a major problem, and that is what to do about the official mascot of the Atlanta Braves, the National League baseball team.

The Braves used to have a perfectly good mascot, a real Indian named Noc- A-Homa. All the kids loved him, even after Noc gained a few pounds and his belly lopped over his loincloth.

Noc would open each home game with a victory dance on the pitcher's mound, and then he would run screaming like, well, a wild Indian out to his tepee in left field.

But the Braves sent Noc-A-Homa back to the reservation after last season. They figured, I suppose, that because the team had a new manager, it needed a new mascot.

Now they have a mascot named Rally. I'm not sure what it is, and neither is anybody else.

It's this sort of red, birdlike character, not really a chicken like they have in San Diego, more like a woodpecker with his snozzle mashed flat.

That's not it, either. Actually, Rally may not be a bird after all. To tell you the truth, the thing looks sort of like a giant pimple with big feet.

Rally is an absolute embarrassment not only to the Braves, but to the entire city.

Atlanta has been trying to woo the Republican Party to hold its next convention there. Something like Rally might scare the children of the delegates.

I went out to a Braves game the other night and Rally decided to kid around with some of the fans seated near me.

It did a little dance for a couple of kids. They cried.

The Braves were getting beat at the time, and the customers were not in a good mood.

''Sit down!'' they screamed at Rally, who ignored their suggestions and continued to attempt to entertain the crowd.

''Bring back Noc-A-Homa!'' some guy wearing a loincloth yelled.

A player from the other team hit a home run. A Braves fan threw a beer at Rally, who finally disappeared and left the crowd alone. If I were in the Braves office and had the power, I would give Rally its walking papers, admit my mistake and forget the mascot thing for a while.

Why does a professional baseball team need a mascot in the first place? Navy has its goat, Army has its mule, and my high school had a giant stuffed tiger named Willie.

But that's kid stuff. Save whatever you're paying this ridiculous mascot for a down payment on a much needed starting pitcher.

Sophisticated sports fans in Atlanta do not need a mascot to make them laugh when they go to a ball game.