Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Recently I had a rare opportunity to spend 11 straight days together with Tony and the Family. I was scheduled to head down to Seattle for Pride weekend right after work on Sat. June 27th but was running behind at work and missed the last bus down that evening. It had put me in a nasty mood and I didn't want to start my vacation in that frame of mind and after coming off of a very hectic week I made the decision to take the day Sunday and get it together then head down Sunday evening happy and relaxed. I wasn't so much concerned with the fact I was missing the Pride festivities as I was about starting my vacation on the right foot. I was more excited about the following weekend when we would travel outside the hustle and bustle of the city and have the first ever 4th of July Dragon family Leather Run.Every year SML (Seattle men in Leather) would do a leather run event called Equinox. A "RUN" is the leather community's version of a weekend retreat. The term "RUN" comes from motorcycle clubs making a bike "run" to another town. The gay leather scene was founded from the motorcycle club community which is where gay men could hang with and meet other masculine guys before gay clubs were openly established. When it was announced this year that the SML event would be an in city event, a few members of Tony's leather family, the Dragon Clan decided to do their own run. My week started with just myself, Tony and Timmy (Tony's new local Seattle boy) not to be confused with Tim, the old local Seattle boy. Timmy has actually been in and out of Tony's life almost as long as myself. Always quietly off to the sidelines, When Tony found himself in a jam and no one available to take care of Thomas the family cat. Timmy was given the opportunity to prove himself "boy" worthy and hold down the fort, the quiet boy from the sidelines suddenly seemed the perfect choice for the local boy position. As usual we bonded quickly and is a welcome addition to the family. Later that week the rest of the family started arriving with the pup Element arriving on Wednesday evening and Derek and his new boy JC the following day. Derek is what we call in the BDSM community a power switch, although exclusively a sub to Tony, he is a very experienced player and decided it was time to mentor and take on a boy of his own. I met JC at IML and we got along great so it was a wonderful surprise to learn he would accompany Derek to join us for the run.Friday we packed the gear and headed out of the city to the retreat location a bit early to help set up for the long weekend. Everyone was in attendance except Rico, Tony's San Francisco boy who I still have yet to meet in person. Instantly upon arrival with the city far away, surrounded by nature and a perfect forecast of 85 degree's I could feel the stress just slip away. I had been longing to get away and into nature for a long time and almost simultaneously we all got naked and soaked up the sun. Of course besides an excuse to get out of the city the main purpose of the run was all about play and bonding. What made the weekend special for me was that everyone at the run was family, both immediate as in our own and Dragons who are all Tony's leather brothers and sisters. This created an unusual air of comfort and relaxation with no sense of urgency. Just a go with the flow energy. It also allowed me the opportunity to get out of my comfort zone and experience new aspects of BDSM and play with some of the Dragons who happen to be among the most experienced and heavy players on the Pacific Northwest. With the blessing of Tony I had a strong desire to play with a female dragon member. From a submissive point, I am very much use to my Doms being more Yang (Yang, is characterized as hard, fast, solid, dry, focused, hot, and aggressive. It is associated with masculinity) I had watched one of the Dragons Mercea doing some power play with her boy Danny and was intrigued by her Yin Dom energy. (Yin is usually characterized as slow, soft, insubstantial, diffuse, cold, wet, and tranquil. It is generally associated with the feminine) Danny had to leave earlier that day back in the city so when she found herself with a bag a floggers and no boy, I quickly volunteered and it was a profound experience. The energy exchange was very different.Less erotic and more nurturing, I found it more obvious with the Yin female Dom that the act of inflicting pain on me, and trust me she flogged me good, but there was a tranquility associated with both me as the sub and her as the Dom, in contrast if I was being flogged by Tony who embodies more of the Yang Dom energy, He can take me to that place of tranquility through the pain but the Yang Dom experiences more of an obvious high from the act of consensual domination, and contolled aggression. Of course the Paradox of true consensual BDSM is that the consciousness of both the dom and sub whether Yin or Yang always comes from a place of unconditional love and sharing. With both parties putting the emphasis on pleasing the other before themselves. The Paradox being that because of this both parties can reach transcending highs either erotic or non erotic and experience a zen state long after words. I have also come to learn that in power play if the consciousness of either party is selfish in nature, there may be at the most temporary moments of pleasure but after words experience what kabbalists call short curcuiting or a feeling of empyness, almost like a black hole. I relate it to a light bulb with the sub and Dom acting as the positive and negative pole, what keeps the light bulb from short curcuiting is the central column or the philament, which represents the dom and subs desire to please the other in an act of sharing. The philament represents restriction, the more restriction the more light (pleasure). From a power play point of view when the consciousness of both parties is to recieve for the self alone, this creates a short curcuit, much like a power surge in the flow of energy to the light bulb. there is a huge flash of light (temporary moment of pleasure) then darkness ( the feeling of emptyness afterwords) In actuality all types of play should follow this arciotype from vanilla sex to heavy BDSM. There is no comparison to the level of pleasure and extacy one can experience with what I like to call spiritual BDSM. I aslo encourage you to don't believe a word of it, just try it and see for yourself.To see a gallery of pictures of the weekend including a really cool pic of me being fire flogged by Tony click HERE

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The second installment of the Rough line has been launched and available for sale online HERE at the Titan website. Although this release follows the launch of ROUGH'S first installment Shock Treatment, Fist and Piss was in fact the first project shot for the new line and continues the exploration into contemporary fetish and Sm by capturing the intensity and passions embodied by real players as they engage in the kind of activities that help define radical sexuality and queer identity. This time, as the title implies, we focus on two common kinks among those of us who play on an edge that others would call extreme: fisting and watersports.On a personal note, I discussed in a previous post INJECTING LIGHT INTO FILTH where I discuss my consciousness behind being in this film and allowing camera's to capture the type of play Tony and I engage in on a very intimate and personal level.For a scene by scene breakdown click the title link above. To preview stills and the extended trailer for "Fist and Piss" head over to TonyBuff.com HERE

Who is Paradox Boy

I'm an aspiring writer/blogger, fetish performer, one of 2 collared boys and a pup in a polyamorous leather/bdsm family of activist, educator,fetish performer Tony Buff.
My focus of this blog is to give my very personal and unique point of view on how this journey came to be, my 6 years of intense study of Kabbalah and how discovering the secrets of the universe led me back to the man and scene I had abandoned 4 years ago.
With a new set of eyes, It’s my look into the paradox of life, finding Truth, Love and Light in the most unusual and what some may percieve in the darkest of places.