An ongoing journey through substance abuse and eating disorders.

Splitting

Splitting is a psychological pattern whereby one flips between idealizing and devaluing something or someone. I do it more than I like to admit. I bring it up now because I’m splitting on someone I’m very close to: N.

I just informed her that there was a small but finite chance of me going to North Carolina in the next few weeks, especially if my health insurance rejects my appeal and I wind up with no coverage.

Anyway, I’m in the middle of a text conversation with her now and I am amazed at the vitriol she is throwing at E. I offered to speak on the phone with her about the whole thing, but I guess she isn’t interest right now.

So, the whole splitting basically has changed me from loving N to not really caring. “Not caring” is the opposite of “loving”. I imagine this feeling will pass, if she can stop overtly attacking E.