Thursday, May 17, 2007

Shockingly, We Are Not The First To Point Out That He-Man Was A Giant Fagatron

The dashing Matt Gaymon pointed us to this Slate article, which includes the following brilliant insights:

It's almost too easy: Prince Adam, He-Man's alter ego, is a ripped Nordic pageboy with blinding teeth and sharply waxed eyebrows who spends lazy afternoons pampering his timid pet cat; he wears lavender stretch pants, furry purple Ugg boots, and a sleeveless pink blouse that clings like saran wrap to his pecs. To become He-Man, Adam harnesses what he calls "fabulous secret powers": His clothes fall off, his voice drops a full octave, his skin turns from vanilla to nut brown, his giant sword starts gushing energy, and he adopts a name so absurdly masculine it's redundant. Next, he typically runs around seizing space-wands with glowing knobs and fabulously straddling giant rockets. He hangs out with people called Fisto and Ram Man, and they all exchange wink-wink nudge-nudge dialogue: "I'd like to hear more about this hooded seed-man of yours!" "I feel the bony finger of Skeletor!" "Your assistance is required on Snake Mountain!"

That article leads to other hilarious ones. Another link we liked was from Bourgeois Nerd earlier this week, which led to a website that explains everything we learned from 80s cartoons. They’re of course missing the Snorks, the loveable, wacky sea creatures who kissed by locking antennae. Which, as everyone knows, is how all gay people first learned about docking.