Archive for 'The Balancing Act on Lifetime TV'

Nov201122

Everyone experiences pain, loss, and setbacks. How can we look at our disappointments and hurts and still maintain a positive perspective on life? How do we increase our resiliency when we’re going through turbulent changes?

The story of Kisa Gotami

A Buddhist story, “The Mustard Seed,” shows that we don’t suffer independently or differently from others. This story is a favorite of the Oneness guides of India. As the story goes, Kisa Gotami, a woman whose son has died, is in deep suffering. In her grief, she carries her son’s body to all the people in her village and asks everyone for help. Finally a villager sends her to see the Buddha, to whom she cries out, “Master, please help me! Give me medicine to cure my child and bring him back to life!”

“Bring me a handful of mustard seeds that were taken from a house where no death has occurred and no grief experienced,” the Buddha replies. “It must be a home where no one has lost a parent, friend, spouse, or child. Then you will be free from suffering.”

So Kisa Gotami searches for a family that has not experienced death. She cannot find such a family, of course. At each home in her village, she is reminded that everyone has gone through the same grief she is experiencing. There is no house where a beloved person has not died. Everyone has suffered as she is suffering. Finally, she realizes that her suffering is not unique. Now she knows that her situation cannot be changed. Since death happens in all families, she can no longer remain selfish in her grief. At last, because she sees that she is not alone, Kisa Gotami releases her suffering. She buries her child in the forest and returns to the Buddha to take comfort.

This story is a lesson about shared suffering. It’s about understanding that we don’t suffer differently from other people. Like Kisa Gotami, we have experienced joy, happiness, pain, and fear. None of these are new, and our suffering is not special. Suffering is common to humanity because no one leads an independent existence. In the New Testament writings, the mustard seed represents faith. Everyone has the same emotions, even the same habits that we use to avoid suffering. We are intimately related and connected through suffering, and we share it collectively. We can no more own suffering than we can own the stars.

Your suffering is not unique

Your suffering is not unique, nor are you alone in your suffering. Suffering is shared, nobody owns it, and we even suffer the same way. Suffering is the same for everybody, because it is always the same mechanism at work. Since we share the same mind and consciousness, why would our suffering be different?

There is no one on this planet that will escape suffering. When we resist suffering, we dissociate from the experience, we blame others, or we set up escape routes in our mind to distract us. We’re afraid to experience suffering, but if you want to be finished with it, then you’ll have to allow those feelings to come. Resistance can be its own brand of suffering. This is because your resistance will keep the experience coming back again and again.

If hurt is present, don’t create some explanation for it. Experience the hurt completely and let yourself go straight through the experience. Give yourself permission to feel these things just as if you would if joy were in front of you. Don’t be afraid. Suffering is just another experience. It comes to an end. When you embrace it and move though it, you won’t get stuck in it.

How can we embrace the light and dark sides of life and still respect life as a learning journey?

Change your outlook on change. This is “big picture thinking.” Of course major upheavals in life can be challenging, but you still need to view adversity as change, not loss and failure. Changes teach us resiliency, both physiologically and emotionally. Change is necessary for all life forms to evolve. You have to give up certainty and trust the ever-changing process of life. Know that Spirit supports you, no matter what. Adversity is a deeply spiritual lesson because God is showing you a piece of life you need to view for your own evolution and transformation.

Remain fully present to your suffering. Being fully present during loss, grief, and other forms of adversity is important. Until you process your pain, you cannot move through it. People often stuff or manage their emotional pain, which then translates into poor health, bad habits, and more psychological suffering. Embrace your suffering. Feel it and experience it in order to move past it.

Affirm your positive, present-moment benefits, no matter what. Accepting life’s contrasts, whether from financial loss, divorce, illness, or grief, means you accept life wholeheartedly. You must accept the bad with the good. As adults, we tend to resent life. Keep moving forward, look up, and ask for Divine assistance. You’ll be amazed at how help arrives, so be open to receiving your good. The universe is infinitely creative. It will send help in ways you cannot imagine.

Let’s draw our strength together and remember that each day is a new opportunity to make positive change in your world, no matter what. Affirm:

“Change is good. I am comforted by knowing that starting over is an ongoing job. I am becoming more resilient with every circumstance. I never give up. Life is a cycle, so there’s always more room for love. I believe I am evolving every day.”

Suffering is a condition we can move through. Humans are designed to experience grief, but not to be permanently stuck in it. Remember that adverse changes in life permit personal growth and give us a greater capacity to love. Watch the corresponding video on The Balancing Act here.

More affirmations that help you develop resiliency and strength to survive adversity. Self development lessons and weekly power exercises from Let Your Goddess Grow! are included in attachments.

Grief arising from loss

My heartache fills my entire body today, but I know the love I have for this person who has crossed over is far greater than my heartache. From this day forward, each time I feel my heart aching from the absence of this person, I will focus on the love they brought into my life. I am so very thankful to have been blessed by their presence. No one is ever lost or gone forever, because love lasts forever. Every time I feel a heartache coming on, I send out a greater amount of love to the outer reaches of the universe and beyond. I am comfortable knowing this person will receive my love every day and through every loving thought.

Facing divorce

I leave this relationship with grace and dignity. I know my soul must grow in a place outside the perimeter of this relationship. No matter how painful the past has been, I am thankful that this venture has been part of my learning journey because it helps me to further define myself. My ability to give and receive love remains intact. My heart is healing. I have tremendous capacity to love others, no matter what the circumstances.

Confronting addiction

I no longer run from life. I now fully engage in what life has to offer. I rise above any physical need that does not contribute to my overall health and well-being. I do not need any substance to hide from life because I love what I have to offer. I am the parent and my body is the child. I take care of my child-body with love because I love my beautiful self.

Anticipating unemployment

Finding new work requires facing a transition and changing my old mental habits. I view this period as an opportunity to become clearer about what I want to do with my life. My hurt and uncertainty about the future leave my body before I get out of bed each morning. I arise with an attitude of success. I believe this change is a learning experience, and I step up to this challenge with strength and conviction. I have a great deal to offer both a new employer and the world.

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Nov201114

Life is supposed to be an adventure, right? But how do we express our delight and wonder with life’s magnificence while we’re doing boring jobs, paying bills, or taking care of our elderly parents? Once we become aware of the present moment and how perfect and powerful that moment is, we look at life differently. Unfortunately, we are accustomed to looking at life rather than looking within. It’s the difference between doing and being. Kids are very aware of the present moment. They’re great at it, in fact, and they don’t think too much beyond the present. As our responsibilities grow in adulthood, we often forget this important key to cultivating more joy in our lives.

As adults, we have forgotten how to play. When we look at any activity with a sense of joy and invite ourselves to be surprised with the simple things, time slows down. Every moment becomes a gift. If we look at life once in awhile like kids, the simplest things would seem amazing – a sunny day, a lack of structure, seeing everything new with fresh innocence. Recapturing this simple joy, and the gratitude for life’s bounty, is vital to living a balanced life because joy is our natural state of being.

How can we can learn from our children and recapture a joyful, playful, younger outlook?

Unseat old thought patterns about having fun. When you were growing up, did adults tell you that if you were playing you were being irresponsible? Not working hard enough? If you were having fun, did your parents appear to feel worse because they thought there was no fun in their own lives? Sometimes past programming takes all the fun out of having fun. Learn to recognize these old mental programs and release them.

Indulge in more simplicity and wonder. Slow down. Stop looking at entertainment as a pleasure that provides you with an adrenaline rush. Get rid of your “bucket list” and lower your threshold of expectation. Maximize your appreciation with the basics—a delicious meal, a good book, a hummingbird in the garden, the five minutes a day your dog licks your face or your cat purrs at you. Be fully present for these types of simple pleasures.

Learn to love everyday life. Living an intelligent life is being in touch with life. It means being present and connected with other people. At mealtime, eat your food and enjoy it. Appreciate the weather. Rejoice when a friend calls you to chat. Give yourself over to whatever you’re experiencing today. You’ll find that joy can trickle down into the smallest things.

Let’s remember that our natural and balanced state of being is joy. Let’s affirm:

“Today, I am a playful soul child. I look at everything with a sense of wonder and surprise. Time slows down today, and each moment is a gift. I love simply being me, being free, and making it up as I go along. I have a skip in my step and stretch my arms wide to the sky to accept an unlimited universe filled with joy! I have a joyful, playful, youthful spirit.”

Put aside the adrenaline rush you want to experience when you try some new, “over-the-top” experience. Instead, look for the moments of power you find in your home, backyard, or workplace. Empowered and balanced people are constantly in awe of life. They give thanks for the opportunities that exist to appreciate simplicity. Watch the corresponding video on The Balancing Act here.

More affirmations that help you be a kid again and embrace life with a sense of surprise

Can’t be a kid again

It feels great to play and relax with my children. I love to be a kid. Laughing together shows we are all worthy of having fun in our lives. I take time to play and love the child in me. Everyone in this family deserves to have fun. Including me!

Can’t spend money on having fun

I do not recognize any lack in the universe. My source works through me to provide what I want. I am worthy of joy and pleasure! Denying myself pleasure does not create more room for other good things to happen. There is an unlimited supply of pleasure in the universe. I now allow my income to move through me so I can enjoy life more fully. The channel is open between my money and accepting good, fun, and joy.

Worried about the cost of having fun

I am an image of wealth because I am my unlimited God-self. I open a clear channel to replenish my supply. Since my needs are met even before I anticipate them, I can spend money on having fun. There is no need to deny myself anything. I am an expression of wealth and abundance. There is no lack in the infinite mind of God.

Nov201108

Although living the simple life might have worked for many of our ancestors, most of us want to know how to enjoy a prosperous existence filled with modern conveniences. What is the secret to feeling fuller, richer, and happier? How do we overcome negative beliefs about wealth and money that hold us back from abundance? Changing your attitude on prosperity and money can produce dramatic changes in your life. Your abundance is not determined by outside conditions but is a manifestation of your beliefs about what is possible.

Master Your Thinking

Creating an abundant life is about mastering the process of thinking and using prosperity consciousness. Many people focus on money as the cause of their abundance or lack of money as reason for scarcity. But money is not the cause of abundance, it is an effect. It does not cause prosperity in your life. These are challenging concepts for most people who say, “If I only had money life would be easier,” If you place all your focus into the cause and not the effect, you are limiting your abilities.

If you are ill, and you only treat the symptoms and not the cause of the disease, you will never really heal, right? So, adopting prosperity consciousness means you see yourself as one who has an unlimited, inexhaustible supply. And that energetic and physical supply comes from the Universe, or Spirit, however you define that in your wisdom tradition.

Discover Your Mental Equivalent

Ten years ago, our family company was headed toward financial disaster. We discovered that my husband, who was the C.E.O., did not truly believe he deserved any wealth. His assumptions about wealth were odd – he discovered he enjoyed being poor because he thought it made him more like-able or noble. Nobody can provide income for 150 employees with this kind of mental equivalent! Once he changed his focus, and embraced income and wealth as a positive experience that benefits everyone, the business began to prosper.

To create a truly abundant life, you must also recognize that money is not your true supply but only a symbol of your inner supply. No person, place or condition is your supply. Your employer, spouse, investments, or bank account are not your supply. Your true supply is the limitless Spirit behind all creation. It is an unlimited and inexhaustible supply that fills every need. You don’t have to feel responsible for creating wealth; it’s already there. You already have it all. You just need to change your consciousness about wealth, money, and rely upon our Source to flow. You can read about this spiritual lesson in my book Let Your Goddess Grow! 7 Spiritual Lessons on Female Power and Positive Thinking.

Here’s how to begin to develop prosperity consciousness and lay a foundation for abundance in your life:

Quit thinking about lack. Whatever you focus your energy on is what you will receive from the Universe. Think about what you do want, not what you don’t want, no matter your present circumstances. Visualize yourself in a situation with exactly what you desire. Stop worrying about how much money everyone else has and how they get it.

Take an inventory of your faulty thinking. Were you raised with a belief that there isn’t enough to go around for everyone? Think about how this energy permeates your belief system and behavior. As a child, if you were told it’s bad to be wealthy or you don’t deserve money when you grow up, it might have become part of your belief system. How can you generate wealth when that is your fundamental assumption? It is not possible!

Give thanks in advance for what you are about to receive. Successful people create, and know that the demonstration, or effect, will appear. They acknowledge that it has already been set into motion, and have confidence in the process of the Universe. Learn to trust at a very deep level while you do the earth- work to get there, such as doing your job.

Be aware of the Source within you as part of your limitless supply. It is important to identify with the Divine Presence because the unlimited consciousness of the Spirit within you is your true supply. When you know this, your abundance channel is open to whatever you think about with clarity and passion.

“Today I no longer need to hold back from success and prosperity. I live life with ease. I expand my mind to include what I desire in life, and I know I am worthy of receiving. I open my heart to a new level of thankfulness and recognize all the good in my life. I have an abundant supply in Spirit and prosperity is my natural state. I love being in an abundant state because the Universe knows no boundaries in providing me as much as I want and need.”

More affirmations that help you create an empowering and abundant reality:

Always struggling

I live life with ease. I expand my mind to include what I desire in life. When I ask, I know I am worthy of receiving. I open my heart to a new level of thankfulness and recognize all the good in my life. I love being prosperous because it is my natural state. I go with the abundant flow of life and do not paddle against the current. My ride is joyful and easy and includes everything I desire.

“Can’t afford it” mindset

When I dwell on the idea of lack, I build a consciousness of lack that only attracts more lack. Whatever I ask for, I receive, because the natural state of the unlimited universe is to provide for me. I now have a mindset of abundance because my source is unlimited! I am part of a universal order that provides an abundant and inexhaustible supply. I see abundance reflected in all areas of my life. My income and all things that are valuable to me are prospering and growing bigger as I notice how much abundance there is in the world.

Can’t attract money

Today, I stop focusing on attracting money and focus on my source, which is my unlimited supply. My source is the foundation of prosperity. From this day forward, I inhale abundance and permanently bring it into my awareness. Because I choose to identify with my source, I am abundance and prosperity. I am now aligning my higher self with a vision of prosperity. I exhale success and satisfaction with each breath.

Nov201101

Even though we may be dedicated to our families and careers, we must find time to express joy and creativity. Each of us is a special creation, an individualized spark of the Presence. Because we are mini-models of the Universe, we are forever evolving and creating. Joy flows through uninhibited creativity, so let’s be the idea of joy so we can grow personally and spiritually.

Joy is essential to living a balanced and empowered life

Joy is vital to your personal and spiritual development. Expressing joy helps you feel more confident and comfortable about who you are. It’s physically healthy to bring joy though your body, too, through your speech, actions, or artwork. Spiritually, joy helps open your energy centers. It’s part of your true nature and does not fluctuate based upon what happens in your life. It is a steady constant. Unless you find some way to express your joy, you cannot live in this spiritual state, nor will you attract people and situations that give you joy. You have to resonate with joy at a deep level to attract more joy in your life.

When my boys left home for college, I realized that care-taking had taken up all of my time. I had never had time to cultivate any space in which to learn something new. Today, I use ballroom dancing as an articulation of self-love and happiness. Expressing joy for nothing but the sake of joy is totally freeing. It’s an exercise in letting out your light. Do you desire to sing, dance, paint, sing, play the trumpet, or make a home movie? Creative energy is your divine heritage. You cannot just answer to tasks or live in servitude. These are patterns of behavior you may have adopted by being a caretaker and provider. It’s time to make a change in your life.

How do we invite our creativity and joy to pour forth?

Leave your inner-critic behind. Negative self-talk blocks creative expression. For example, if you say, “I can’t” or ”I’m not talented, fast enough, strong or young enough,” too often, that’s what you’ll be. When you’re pursuing joy and believe in yourself, you realize that life is a miracle. And so are you. There is no limit to what you can do when expressing joy is your objective. Release all those limiting thoughts that hinder your creativity. Do what makes you joyful.

Expect a few train wrecks along the way. Not every creative expression in life is going to be a first-place effort. When you’re learning to let your light pour out, you’re going to be derailed a few times. Be like the Little Engine That Could. Keep your chin up, keep going, and don’t flush all your paint down the drain or throw your dance shoes away just because you didn’t produce a prize-winning painting or get on Dancing with the Stars. You are living art. Be humble to the creative process and keep going.

Create from the most joyful place in your heart. Let go. Joy and creativity is a right brain, intuitive process. It’s very feminine. You can’t stay in your left brain all day, punching numbers and writing corporate memos. At my studio, the happiest people I see each day are doctors, accountants, and lawyers who are pulling buoyancy into the very nature of their being. They are making an effort to be balanced and dance from a joyful place in side of themselves. They don’t worry about how good they look … they’re just letting out their light. And it’s a beautiful thing to watch.

Today, let’s put aside our judging and analytical minds and remember that we are each a special and unique creation. Joy is your natural state of being. Let’s affirm:

“True joy is not something I acquire from outer events or things. It is an energy I release from within. I am a unique and special creation. I am an individualized spark of the Divine Presence. I am meant to express my creativity because I am a mini-model of the Universe, which is forever evolving and creating. I welcome joy today as my uninhibited expression. When I dance, paint, sing, or am creative in any way, I AM the idea of joy.”

Oct201125

Life is a spiritual journey that takes many forms. Whatever comes our way, we must see the good in it and keep our hearts open to every experience. If we want to live an empowered life, we must project gratitude for all our life lessons. Years ago, I gave programs on positive thinking to women who were homeless and jobless. Despite their circumstances, they wanted to learn. I was humbled by their gratitude for what they had. They gave me the simplest of gifts—pictures cut out of discarded magazines, a single rose purchased from a street vendor, and pictures they had drawn. They had nothing, yet they found something to give. I was inspired to keep on teaching them. Like these courageous women, we can all do a little better for one another, no matter our circumstances. Isn’t it true that when someone shows his or appreciation, we want to give more to that person? The universe works that way, too.

When we get in the habit of giving thanks for what we experience on our life path, when we acknowledge the blessings that have been a consequence of these experiences, that’s when we acknowledge the most empowering connection that exists between human beings and Divine Spirit. We no longer sit at the sidelines, waiting for something to happen. We become conscious, creative participants in life.

Further, we can never fully receive anything that we do not already have within ourselves. If we want more love, then we must practice the art of love. If we want more friendships, then we must first practice being a friend. If we want to be thanked and appreciated, we must first express gratitude and feel it at a deep level. It’s all about reciprocity.

How can we learn to practice more gratitude?

Say “yes” to the goodness of life. Quit being a “doom-sayer.” Stop complaining about the state of the world. Don’t make a habit of creating daily exchanges filled with fear, blame, and doom. Use auspicious language. Encourage others to be thankful for being alive and for all their experiences. Count your blessings!

Find ways, no matter how small, to thank others. I write tons of thank you notes, and wherever I go, I show up with a compliment. I’d rather receive a compliment from someone than a fancy hostess gift. At the next party you attend, take an affectionate or caring compliment. Tell your friends how much you appreciate their sense of humor or their graciousness. Don’t ever assume people don’t need to be thanked. That’s a need everybody has, whether they admit it or not. When you learn to get the words out, their energy will circulate back to you.

Use the Law of Attraction. Don’t you always feel more inclined to give more to someone when they’re enthusiastic and appreciative? Consider the times you’ve helped a friend or employee and were overwhelmed with thanks. Did it make you want to give more? Of course it did! “Like attracts like” is a scientific principle at the sub-atomic particle level. Put this principle to work in your life every day!

Give thanks for all you are, for being part of that limitless, magnificent, empowered relationship we call life. Let’s affirm:

“With each breath, I expand my love and gratitude for the many opportunities that await me. Today offers me a chance to live in appreciation of all the blessings in my life. My thankfulness is my true state of being. I create positivity with my thoughts, actions, and words. I am grateful for the abundance that sustains me during my life lessons. I am alive with vitality and enthusiasm. I am grateful for everyone and everything.”

Oct201118

Having a healthy and empowered outlook on life includes taking care of our bodies. We must not only tend to our diets and exercise, but also make time to strengthen our inner connection with spirit, which is the source that provides unconditional love. It is part of a healthy body-mind-spirit regime. A mental diet of self-love is just as important to, if not more important than, your success on the scale.

When I had back surgery a couple of years ago, I was physically inactive for a long time. The weight piled on. The worst was the heavy heart I got by realizing that I could not ski anymore or do certain other things I used to do. I hurt all the time. Pretty soon, I began to see myself as an injured or incapacitated person. I was sending my body continuous messages of being limited. The body does not heal quickly when we do not support it mentally and emotionally. Until I changed my mental process, I had difficulty losing weight, but once I changed my thinking and released those energies, dieting became a joy, not a burden.

Everyone knows there is no magic to losing weight. It’s about diet and exercise. But what is overlooked is our mental equivalent, or our self-image. Do we love ourselves? Do we feel confident about who we are and what we contribute to the world? Are we experiencing positive personal growth in our lives? Get your head and heart aligned while you diet, and the excess weight will easily fall away.

What can we do to create a positive self-image that supports a healthy diet and lifestyle?

Celebrate every bite you eat by loving your body. Shift your mental state from counting carbohydrates and calories to feeding your body with love. Food is fuel, and fuel makes things go. It allows you to do your soul work on the planet! Adopt a nutrition consciousness and let it become a way of life. Focus on what you can feed your beautiful body to give it energy and kindness. Don’t focus on what you are not feeding it.

Center yourself every morning. You’ll be more in tune with your physical needs when you take a few minutes each day to go within and center yourself. Meditate to align yourself with the concept of perfect health, slimness, mobility, grace … whatever your physical goals are. A few minutes a day is all you need. Say, “I see myself as healthy, wealthy, gorgeous, and wise.”

Know that you are a beautiful human being. Shed negative and unnecessary mental and emotional baggage along with your excess weight. Make forgiveness part of your daily diet. Expand your vision of who you are as a limitless being. Know that no matter what your body size is, you have tons of potential! See yourself as whole and beautiful inside.

“Today, I reset my priorities to include a healthy and nourishing routine. My diet is about purging all negative thoughts, including guilt. I love and approve of my body and of my whole self. I shed this weight easily as I become more positive, lighter, and in love with my true self. I feel safe and protected. From this day forward, I choose a healthy and nourishing diet and state of mind.”

We must accept ourselves, and see ourselves as beautiful works in progress during any weight loss program. Weight loss never lasts if you don’t feel good “from the inside-out,” so be mindful about your positive self-image. See yourself as healthy, wealthy, and wise and bask in self-love and self-appreciation. These are the keys to deeper inner growth and permanent body transformation.

For other affirmations about positive body image and weight loss, and Charlene’s Lose Weight, Feel Great, Meditate Diet, please click here to download. For more affirmations, read The Women’s Book of Empowerment: 323 Affirmations that Change Everyday Problems into Moments of Potential. Click Here to buy.

Let Your Goddess Grow

The Women's Book of Empowerment

Moments of Empowerment

Affirmations are a simple tool we can use to feel better about ourselves. By repeating aloud or silently the positive things we want for our lives, we train our minds to move past other people’s views and our own internal scripts to embrace new and joyful possibilities. According to Charlene Proctor, Ph.D., affirmations help “arrest the impulse to self-doubt and give you more energy to focus your attention on a life filled with prosperity, love, good health, and happiness.”

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Reader Gratitude

Charlene, your words inspire me each and everyday! They open my mind and expand my horizons to places I've never traveled. keep up with all the wisdom and words of encouragement!! My god bless you and keep you healthy and safe. Just one more thing. I would so vote for you if you were on Dancing with the stars !!!!!!! David

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Charlene Proctor,

Thank you for your kind words and becoming a great friend and mentor. You positive words help lift my spirits and inspire me. I look forward to having the honor to offer a great service to you.Gods Grace be with you, Aimee

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Amazon review from: Let Your Goddess Grow! 7 Spiritual Lessons on Female Power and Positive Thinking (Paperback)
I purchased the book for my 19 years old daughter as a Christmas Gift. She's enjoying the reading and is happy about owning this book. I can see a slight improvement and a learning as on a mother daughter day she'll explain to me how she's learning to think positive based on her reading....