September 06, 2006

Last week Airbus announced it was replacing the guy in charge of its A380 superjumbo because of continued delays to production. The delays don’t help when the company is struggling to sell enough of the machines to break even.

Well a similar – and potentially more expensive – situation is going on at Sony, where the Playstation 3 has been delayed in Europe and its production volumes to the U.S. and Japan have been cut to a paltry 500,000 each. They were supposed to sell 4,000,000 consoles by the end of 2006 and will now only manage 2,000,000 tops. It’s causing major problems for Sony as it gives Microsoft yet another Christmas season to dominate as the #1 console.

It might because there’s nothing Sony can do about it, so it’s no-one’s fault (hardly likely), or more probably, it could be because of a different management style (Airbus’s boss got into trouble because he didn’t warn the Board of Directors that the plane was going to be delayed by turbulence).

Sony have got a lot to lose from having the PS3 delayed: not just poor figures for 2006, but also a loss in market share as parents buy their kids XBoxes for Christmas, and a boost for HD-DVD which looks set to get to market far quicker than its arch-rival.

Ken Kutaragi (boss of Sony’s Computer Entertainment division) might have kept his job for now, but in the second round of Format Wars, HD-DVD has been dealt another card in its favour.

September 02, 2006

It’s not exactly a weekly feature any more, but it’s worth resurrecting to celebrate the end of the Sven era for England football and the start of the McClaren one.

Today’s match against Andorra was hardly a challenging fixture. But it’s more Steve McClaren’s posture, style and communication skills which make Sven look like an imbecile. McClaren seemed comfortable in the spotlight, using it to his advantage and trying to bring the England supporters along with him. In a way, while his style of management makes Sven look like a fool, it’s really the Football Association who are daft for not getting rid of Eriksson sooner.

Here’s to more of the same from McClaren and Co. And good riddance to the Sven days. As Gary Lineker said at the end of tonight’s programme:

May 01, 2006

Ah yes, it's not just a medium for my particular brand of cynicism. This week's Imbecile of the Week is dedicated to the stupidity of someone who England can unite behind, to an extent not witnessed since we last played Germany in the World Cup.

Paulo Ferreira has achieved the impossible: killing England's (slim) chances of winning the World Cup with just the use of his knee.

It's a remarkable achievement, but deserves no applause. In tackling Wayne Rooney at the weekend, Ferreira has managed to give hope to the people of Paraguay, Sweden and the colossus that is Trinidad and Tobago. Indeed, those great nations expecting to face England in the quarter finals of the World Cup, such as Costa Rica and Ecuador, will now be considering whether a place in the semis is not so unbelievable.

For without Rooney, we are – not to put too much of a gloss on things – buggered. Imagine the scene in the Swedish dressing room as Lars Lagerback announces that England are to bring out their secret weapon for the second half. Yes… an invincible strike force of Peter Crouch and the Deadly Darius Vassell. You can hear the laughter ringing around the Cologne dressing room already.

So Mr Ferreira… thankyou. Our 'never–say–die' attitude has been cut down to size before the tournament has even begun. Share prices in the beverage industry will surely collapse come tomorrow as the brewers realise we shall have no cause to watch the game at a public house. Never mind the British champagne industry – supported by Gordon Brown in his budget – but doomed by the clumsy knee of a Chelsea footballer.

Quite frankly, this is not just a matter of football. Oh no. The sad reality is that our entire economy is doomed because of Paulo Ferreira's crap tackling and lack of patriotism for the country where he lives.

There is only one solution: getting the BNP to take over at Soho Square, appointing an English manager and banning all foreigners from playing in the Premiership. Oh, and cloning Wayne Rooney.

April 16, 2006

Verra Budimlija was once a classic fan of Prime Minister Tony Blair — she's 40, a well-educated advertising executive, the kind of voter who propelled Blair and the Labor Party to power in 1997. Not only does she live in Islington, a Labor stronghold where people took to the streets to celebrate Blair's generation-shifting election, she lives in the very brick house that was Blair's at the time.

Just because you're too lazy to use vowels, doesn't mean we are too! Imagine the interested reader who searches on Google for the 'Labor Party'. Idiots.

April 07, 2006

Ladies and gentlemen, I present this week's Imbecile of the Week, a new feature inspired by the first entrant into this hallowed hall of idiocy…

Stephen Pollard
Mr Pollard writes for the Daily Royalist Mail, as well as in his blog

One such entry rails against the blatant lies spread by the Guardian over a story in Israel. Mr Pollard's point is that the Guardian (who he suggests lie about Israel on a regular basis) must be lying because what they say is contradicted by a Pro-Israeli newspaper. Now I'm not pretending that I know which is correct. But clearly Mr Pollard has no more reason to believe the Israeli newspaper than he does the Guardian, other than his own bias.