Needles

Sorry, this isn't about the kinky use of needles, this is probably a rather boring blog but I really needed to just have a safe place to talk about it this ...

For as long as I can remember, I have been scared of needles. I wasn't one of those kids who would faint or scream at the top of their lungs, but I was the kid who would skip vaccination days at school. My mom would instead make me an appointment at the doctor to have them done privately.

I remember as a child having to get blood drawn and being left black and blue because they struggled to find a good vein in my arm. They would change locations after stabbing me 4 or 5 times and not getting a vein.

So 4 years ago when Mr. Devious asked me if I wanted to get a tattoo with him, I was terrified! I had always wanted a tattoo, but the thought of willingly getting a non-necessary needle scared the shit out of me! But I was brave and I did it! That was step one to conquering my fear!

Since then I got two more tattoos. All of them are pretty small and were very quick. I am by no means a pro, but I was able to put my fear aside long enough to get the tattoos. However, I still need to go for touch ups on the ones I had done last year and I have been putting it off. The foot tattoo fucking hurt! Never do it!

A year and a half ago I was in a car accident. I was rear ended rather hard and was diagnosed with a whiplash injury. I attended physio weekly for months and month at the beginning with very little improvement. I was getting very discouraged and was ready to just give up. One day my physio therapist asked me if I would be willing to give dry needling a try. I was terrified, but also at my wits end. I was ready to try anything.

For those that don't know, dry needling is when tiny little needles are inserted into your muscles to release the tension. They usually spasm. It can be painful, but mostly it just feels REALLY strange! When I had them done in my lower back, it felt like my butt ran a marathon without the rest of my body. I am so glad I tried the dry needling. I had instant relief from the needling in my neck, head and shoulders. I had 75% more range of motion and it helped with the pain and muscle spasms as well.

I was released from physio in July. I wasn't in perfect condition, but we had made so much improvement. However, by November, I was in so much pain again. So in December I started back at physio. I have been doing needling again once a week and while it gives me relief, it just doesn't seem to last long term.

This week we tried acupuncture. With acupuncture the needles are put in and kept in for 15 min or longer. This was even scarier than the dry needling. It was a weird feeling. The longer they were in, the more pressure I felt, and finally when they were taken out, all the pressure went away. It was very odd, but seemed to work.

Between needling and acupuncture, I had about 20 needles poked into me at physio this week.

Thankfully my experience with needle at physio has helped me feel a bit better about them in general. That is very fortunate because last week I was told that if I wanted to get pregnant, I was going to need to start testing my blood sugars regularly and start taking insulin.

Honestly this made my heart sink. I have been diagnosed as diabetic. Insulin resistance is a side effect of my Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome as well as diabetes running in my family. I have had higher sugar readings for the last few years, but my doctor has been controlling it with medication. However, I was just told that the medication my doctor had me on, isn't safe for getting pregnant. And so ... insulin it is.

It is worth it. I want a baby sooooo bad! But it doesn't mean this isn't overwhelming.

I have to poke my finger 6-8 times a day to test my blood sugar levels. It can be painful at times depending on where I poke. Fingers are super sensitive. But it is manageable. However, giving myself insulin 4 times a day is a lot scarier.

The needles are rather short, and if I hit the right spot in my tummy then I can't even feel them. But there are some spots that are so painful it makes me want to cry.

On top of giving myself these needles, I have to go get blood work every few weeks to check my levels, and that number is just going to increase when I DO get pregnant.

All these needles are SO overwhelming at times. In the last week I have been poked over 100 times. Eeeeesh! I know this is going to make me healthier in the long run, so its worth it. But I feel like a human pin cushion!

At least this is helping to minimize my fear of needles. Which is good since the next tattoo that I want to get is going to be a bit bigger and take a lot longer ...

Anyways ... I know this wasn't kinky or interesting so thank you for listening if you got this far.

Comments

I'm sorry you are facing all of this. I'm glad the needling and acupuncture are helping. I also have PCOS, so I do understand that pain and worry. Im sorry you have to resort to insulin. You are in my prayers.

You are doing great butterfly what didn't kill you make you stronger and this is the case, it's allways satisfactory read about a sub crossing her limits but this is even better don't give up and chin up you have a great support in your partner and in this comunity