10 May 2010

Vroom Victory!

Perhaps it is a small victory for some, but finally getting my license after 11 years of deliberation feels like a huge accomplishment. Ever since I got my “first” learner’s permit when I was eighteen, I have been carrying this monkey around on my back, wanting so badly to drive and constantly doubting my ability to do so. I really had no excuse, even my mother got back into her car after losing her leg to an impaired river, yet this was one wall I couldn’t seem to climb over. It’s not like me to be afraid of things; I felt abnormal for not being enthusiastic about something that the rest of the teens my age were doing at the time. Perhaps I really wasn’t mature enough to get behind the wheel. It took becoming a mother to finally make me feel responsible enough to quit the excuses, get over my fear and just get on with it. It is important to me that Andrew never remembers his mother as someone who was too afraid to try. And so, for the past several months, I have been driving around town with a hollering baby in the back of the car and a very patient and wonderful husband insisting that I, “calm the heck down, believe in [myself] and keep on trying.”

I wasn’t sure whether to whoop for joy or cry tears of relief when the driver examiner told me that I passed my test this afternoon. For once I’ll be able to drive myself and Andrew to appointments; I’ll finally be able to chauffeur others and help run errands. I feel like a whole new world is opening up to me because I won’t always be stuck at home waiting for hubby to get in – freedom and independence!

It is still going to take lots of practice to get 100% comfortable as a driver but, considering I was shaking like a nervous leaf in a high school parking lot three months ago, I think I have grown considerably. It’s amazing what motherhood will drive you to do…pardon the pun.