Oh Boy!: Spray On Prophylactic Coming Soon

We've all been there before: You finally bring a girl home from the bar, get her to the bedroom, and you're rounding 3rd base and trying to come home when...shit, out of condoms. So you grab a snack-sized Doritos bag off the nightstand, but before you can secure the thing to your member with a piece of electrical tape, the chick dives out a window.

Enter German inventor Jan Vinzenz Krause. Jan got super drunk at a party once and forgot to take his shoes off before passing out. He woke up with a huge penis drawn on his face and a crotchful of silly string. Putting two and two together, Jan soon invented spray-on latex condoms.

The spray-on condom prototype measures a man's size (really big, big, average, small, really small) and then covers his penis in liquid latex providing him with a proper fitting condom. A man places his penis in a chamber. He then presses a button and a pump squirts out liquid latex through some nozzles onto the man's penis in about 20 seconds. If 20 seconds seems like a long time to wait the good news is that the inventor is working on shortening the time to about 10 seconds.

Uh, Jan? 10 seconds is a long time and The Geekologie Writer isn't exactly known for his stamina. What he is known for is once trying to slow himself down by using an empty shampoo bottle for a condom. Now I'm "that Pert Plus guy".