Have you ever wanted to act like a cog from Toontown in real life? Here are some pointers.

This article has been marked as historical.

Toontown was shut down on September 19, 2013. (Posted 2016-08-18).

Steps

1

Learn the language. Cogs speak in robot language, of course, since they are robots. Learn the different sounds they make and get as close as you can to copying them. Learn some of the phrases they say too to drop in everyday speech, depending on what type of cog you want to be. For example, if you want to be a Flunky, one of their common phrases is, "The boss is counting on me to stop you." Use these phrases often and in a monotonous, robotic voice.

2

Walk like the cogs. Cogs don't run like cartoons, nor do they walk like normal humans. To be a cog you must walk extremely slowly. It might feel frustrating but remember that cogs have a metal structure and are heavy, so they can't walk too quick. Some cogs swing their arms differently; shorter cogs have bent arms and taller cogs keep their arms more straight. When cogs are standing still, they sway slightly from side to side.

3

Dress the part. It's all very well acting like a cog, but unless you look like one too people will just think you're a random robot! This part does depend a lot on what type of cog you want to be. First and foremost, you must wear a suit. Sellbots have dark purple suits, Cashbots have dark green suits, Lawbots have dark blue suits and Bossbots have dark brown suits. They also have different types of tie. Some cogs are short and fat (e.g. Cold Callers) while some are tall and skinny (e.g. Bloodsuckers). Some also appear to be more muscular (e.g. The Big Cheese). Choose a cog similar to your body type so that you won't have to wear stilts or padding or anything. Girls may want to pick cogs such as Name Droppers, The Minglers or Micromanagers because these cogs look female in appearance (even though cogs strictly speaking have no gender). Do your hair like the cogs too. Remember the accessories, like hats for Bean Counters and Downsizers and an eye-patch for Corporate Raiders. Also use facial expressions to further convey which cog you are. Telemarketers frown but Mr. Hollywoods grin like the Cheshire Cat.

4

Learn the moves. Cogs have a variety of moves. When using certain gags, some of them look almost as if they are dancing! Not to mention the Mover & Shakers stomping and jumping up and down. Study your type of cog carefully whenever it is using a cog gag or taking toon gag damage. Try to mimic these movements. A lot of them step forward when attacking, and watch the way they move their arms. Try to imitate how they bend over and blow up too, although don't spin round and round on the spot because chances are you will fall over and cogs don't do that when exploding.

5

Dance! Toons win most battles, but cogs win some too! When they do, their dance is far better than the toon dance. To do the cog dance, first put your hands up, thumbs on ears, palms facing forward, and waggle your fingers as if going, "Nah nah na nah nah." Then, with your hands still in the same position, hop round in a circle on one foot. (In the tug-of-war trolley game, cogs often do this when they win and then promptly fall into the water, making a complete fool of themselves.) After this cogs usually fly away with their propeller head. Unless you have a propeller gadget tucked inside your head, you'll probably have to make do with pretending to fly away. Put your arms in penguin position and bend your knees, leaning forward slightly. Then push up onto your toes. You can then just walk away, since it would probably be a little difficult to actually fly.

6

Put it all together! Pick a cog, dress like it, use their phrases, use their gags and defeat some toons! Remember the personality. You are a cog, so you don't like fun or colourful buildings. If you are a Sellbot, work on impressing and charming people. Cashbots need to be rich and greedy. Lawbots must be professional and cold at all times. Bossbots are, obviously, bossy. All cogs' sole purpose in life is ruining toons' fun, so do just that!

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Tips

Go on www.toontown.wikia.com for detailed information on every type of cog.

If you are a Name Dropper, The Mingler or Micromanager, wear lipstick. A lot. Trust me, those cogs wear heaps of lipstick.

Don't forget that Big Wigs need big, white, curly wigs!

Spin Doctors and The Big Cheeses have green heads. You could use face paint to achieve this effect.

Loan Sharks and Legal Eagles are animal cogs. You could wear a mask or a costume head, since you probably don't naturally look like a shark or an eagle.

All cogs have phrases that they say when they don't want to fight a toon; i.e. when a toon catches them flying away or going into a building. This is good to use when trying to get out of a sticky situation. For example, Yes men say, "Yes man says NO," and Pencil Pushers simply say the rather rude, "Push off." Most cogs will say that they have to go to a meeting.

Warnings

Most people don't know what cogs are so you'll mostly get bewildered looks.

There's a reason why toons go around destroying cogs, and that's because cogs are not very nice. Be careful who you go coggish on, because you may find yourself disliked and blown up by a fire hose or grand piano.