RAGING BEAST

‘PIGS OF THE CROSS’

SCHUMI’S ROCK

Michael Schumacher ‘being nursed to back to health’ by ever-present wife

ALL CHANGE PLEASE

Woman strips naked and performs raunchy pole dance on a bus in Sydney

In walks the Colonel, described as "tall... with a striped linen shirt and woollen peacoat crusted with sea salt".

It adds: "His hair was light and fair, framing his head in airy curls, and the eyes that stared back at her were almost the exact colour of the sea, perhaps darker, but not by much, and they hid behind glasses with dark frames."

His dramatic entrance makes her "feel hot and cold at the same time" — not something you'd want in your fried wings.

Their first kiss is said to be "electric", causing her to become "a woman on fire".