I don't mind you asking at all, it made me smile
I have to say I don't know because I go back and forth. I think on a deep down level I think girl, don't know if that is a hope or what, because I would be very happy with a son, but want another girl. I had a dream that I had a blond boy and a dark haired girl growing in my belly before I got pregnant, so I am all confused! My inlaws don't think I can make boys, and they have always guessed girl and have been right x3. We shall see. Dh really wants to find out with an u/s. I am not sure about that. I may have one if stress gets the better of me. I would rather take the risk of having one than be really stressed out wondering. I feel like I have so much more fear this time around and it is really messing with my intuition. I am starting prenatal yoga and meditation at home in hopes of finding some balance.
Brandi

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Thanks for starting the new thread, Brandi. I wasn't very adept at adding links and such with the last thread--and I'm pretty sure we have at least 3 or 4 new stories to add, Niki, AmyD, and a couple of others.

I've been wondering how you're doing, too. I know that with this pregnancy the first 10 weeks or so were very difficult. I was so scared and paranoid that I didn't really enjoy myself. Once I got past a certain point it was much easier, but I can't imagine what it was like getting all the way to the end as you did. I do hope that your yoga and meditation help you find your balance. I'm sure that is what had a large part in me overcoming my fears. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you...

Also, wanted to welcome Plum (from the last thread). Welcome! Your previous birth experience sounds so sad. I do hope you're able to heal and enjoy the next one.

As Kate mentioned there are some birth stories to add. Would those of you who want your stories linked on the first post please send me a link and I will add them. My dial up is way too slow to search them out myself. Thank you!!
Brandi

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Trying to jump in early on this thread.... I'm not very good at responding as often as I would like, though I do read and appreciate! I'm hoping that getting in at the start of this thread will encourage me to be more of an active participant.

This baby could be here in a month and a half! (yikes) Or it could be another two/two-and-a-half months (yikes again, lol). Just going with the flow right now. Babe did have a growth spurt last week, so that has helped me accept that we are looking down the home stretch. I have not gained nearly as much weight as I did with DS (75 lbs - right now, there is no possible way I can gain that much again), and am not feeling as huge and lumbering and miserable as I remember feeling with him. I'm not sure if it's b/c I'm just not to that point yet, or if the weight gain made that much difference. I'm sure both are possible - it's just weird b/c I don't FEEL as pregnant as I am, yk?

It's weird, b/c I don't feel as excited about this birth as I thought I would. I mean, I'm thrilled that DH is on-board for UC, I'm very much looking forward to seeing my body do what it knows how to do, I'm excited to meet this baby... I guess I just somehow thought I would be more "all about it" than I am - I 'm feeling more like "of COURSE I will UC", sort of more matter-of-fact. I dunno, I don't think I'm explaining it well.

Aaargh - my keyboard is being screwy and I cannot stand to wrestle with it anymore, so I guess I'm cutting this short. Glad to be here and I hope to be more visible now!

I had an incredibly vivid birth dream the other night, although, as almost all my dreams do - the details get foggy quickly, so I wanted to write it out now.

I was in my bathtub, in labour, alone. I knew I was in labour, having contractions, but there were no physical sensations (pain, etc) just energy. The next part of the dream that is clear to me, I was pushing. It was active pushing with contractions - but I could tell it wasn't working. All sorts of energy in the contractions, all sorts of energy in my pushes - but not making it to my baby. All of a sudden an understanding came over me that what I need to do to birth was to let go, relax by body and my preconceptions and let my baby come to me. And so I did, consciously letting go of all the muscles, all that energy I felt - and the baby just came out of me, slippery and wet and plump and roly-poly. I don't remember my dream-self feeling big emotions, just rightness.

Then my husband came in the room. I don't remember if I felt anything when he came in, good or bad. Somehow he asked (as he did with my daughter while I was still in la-la land) if I should try to nurse and so I put the babe by my breast and he/she just kind of moved around. Then my husband took my breast/nipple and tried to "help". I got so annoyed and pushed his hand away.

I wish I had written this down right away, because I can't remember what happened next, I think maybe he wanted to bring other people into the room or something - and I got really annoyed. I don't remember if I wanted him to go away, or if I just wanted him to relax and be with us.

I really don't think I feel the need to "protect" my birth space from my husband - but wonder if the fact that he is not on board with UC (and really doubtfully ever will be) added to the fact that I know I feel the need to protect my birth space from others combined to create the emotions I felt towards him in my dream.

Wow, Jeanette -- that's a pretty powerful dream. I'm no expert but it seems your analysis is right on. I hope dh comes on board soon and the rest of your dream is resolved. (And a good lesson for the rest of us mamas to just surrender to birth! Thanks!)

Kinsey -- Hi! You know I kinda know what you mean -- now that dh is on board with uc and I know that's definitely what I'm doing, it's seems so common sense it's blase. It was almost more exciting when I was trying to decide! I think it's a GOOD thing, though. Shows that we're confident in our decision and our abilities.

Brandi, thanks for taking care of the new thread. You mentioned on the other thread that it took some time to transfer the links... how are you doing it? It should just take a few seconds to copy and paste? Or are you just talking about adding new links for the recent births? (Wow our list is getting long... so neat to see everyone up there!)

Pam, we didn't check dilation because I didn't see the point. So you're 4 or 6 or 10 cm. -- how does knowing that help you exactly? Well, okay, it gives you an indication of how far along in the process you are, but it doesn't tell you how long it's going to take, or what you need to do. Say you're at 8 cm. -- does that mean the labor is almost over, or does it mean it will be several more hours? There's no way of knowing. Or say you're at 10 cm. -- does that mean you're ready to push? Again, no way of knowing (other than paying attention to how your body feels.)

Mamajaza wrote: "I think it would have been like that no matter what, cause I'm very fair-skinned, and with a latch like she had, I didn't have a chance"

My best advice for fair-skinned women is TAKE THE BRA OFF. I had SO much trouble, and I really believe most of that was related to my habit of wearing a bra. First, my nipples had been coddled for years. They had hardly been exposed to air or friction, and they were as soft (and as sensitive) as a newborn's skin. So the suction from the baby's suck really hurt. Then, once I started breastfeeding, ANY pressure would result in a clogged duct, and ANY contact with spoiled milk would result in an infection. Which obviously the bra provided the perfect environment for. Once I figured that out, my nipples toughened up and stopped getting infected. I do wear a bra usually out in public (my breasts are very mismatched, so I look ridiculous otherwise, yes I am that vain) but not otherwise. I just don't think I could breastfeed successfully for long and actually enjoy it, if I regularly wore a bra.

blueviolet~ I have almost never in my life worn a bra, and still don't to this day :LOL closest thing ive used is a camisole for support after Samaya was born (by then my nipples were pretty roughed in)

Hi ladies! I feel like I missed a lot and I was only gone for a few days while dh networked our computers and made them more secure.

I had some very anxious feelings the other night about the impending labor & birth. I really don't know what it was about, I didnt experience this with any of the others. Could just be nerves of the unexpected, will i call the mw or won't I. Will I have a good friend here to photograph it all or won't I. All these up in the air questions I think are whats making me jittery. I like to know what I am going to do and be set on it.
I like the idea of having a little labor party, friends, laughs, a slew of awesome artisic photos to remember this event. And then again I dont like the thought of anyone being here and infringing on my personal space. Which is again one of the main reasons i do not want the midwives here.

This inner battle is really wearing me down. I need to find that inner peace and be wel and secure in my decisions. Why am I having such a hard time with this? I certainly didn't last UP/UC. I even had plans on 2 friends being there but due to bad timing on my labor neither were able to make it. Maybe the difference was I knew I woul donly be relying on myself. I have decided along with DH that we will UC but the midwife still seems to loom over me. Yet I can't toally call it quits with them since my DH needs them to cover himself.
I know I talk about this a lot but I just keep hoping that the more i spill it all out the easier it will be to find my answers and gain my strength and peace.

I figure I'm gonna have this baby in the next 2 to 4 weeks and I am starting to finally get excited. That might sound wierd, but like Kinsey was saying, I haven't been feeling really specially excited or connected to this baby like I have in past pregnancies. I attribute it (in my case) to the fact that I already have two kids age 4 and under and had a crazy year opening our new practice, and severe pregnancy sickness followed by a severe eye injury and then third trimester yuckies...so...I just haven't had the time and energy I have had in past pregnancies to wonder and think and meditate and all that good stuff. I just figure I will meet this baby when s/he arrives and I am not worried that we won't bond then.

I am teaching a 5 hour class on natural pregnancy and childbirth to a group of chiropractic students in two weeks and while doing the research I have been finally getting more into baby-mode. I have been nesting a bit, visualizing the birth and actually thinking of this child in terms of a real person who will join my family soon. I'm silly...I know. But it has worked for me this pregnancy. But now I am getting antsy not just to *not be pregnant* anymore, but to meet the latest little bean.

I am really excited about the class i'm preparing. The whole first hour is a philosophical discussion of "models" of childbirth in which I have included not just the "medical management" and "natural assisted" model, but also what I am calling "Innate/Intuitive" model which is based on the principles of UC. I am really enjoying the internal dialog this is kicked up in me and I can't wait to see what kind of discussion it creates during the class. I have found that even in a fairly alternative community (like a chiropractic school) so many are still under the impression that they need so much assistance and guidance to have a safe and healthy birth. I can't wait to see how they react when we deconstruct some of these notions both philosophically and by examining each test and procedure individually. I'm hoping the mid-wives in the area don't get their noses out of joint...since i will be encouraging challenging some of the commonly touted *wisdom* of their stranglehold on "natural birth" in iowa (almost no lay mid-wives left here).

Lastly, I need to order (on-line i guess) some herbs for making a sitz bath and a tea for making frozen compresses for post natal swelling. Any suggestions where i should look? I forgot where I got them last time.

Hi Linda
When I copy and paste from someone else's post is does not copy the hyperlinks, so I have to redo them all, which is very straight forward just time consuming. If I copy and paste from a first post that I have done myself it just takes one second because all I have to do is go into edit mode on the first post and then copy and paste the whole thing with the hyperlinks whole. Is there another way to do it quickly from someone else's original post?
Thanks!
Brandi
(who is feeling really yucky-though very happy-due to morning sickness, aka-all day sickness!)

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I know this was discussed in a previous thread but I haven't the time or the computer power to search. What are the recommendations for the after pains. I would prefer not to take a medication (even OTC) but they were hellacious last time for days and I am kinda scared. Any great herbals or homeos?

Linda -- Great pics! What a beautiful family you have -- and I just want to grab your little ones cheeks!

Chiromom -- your course sounds FABULOUS! I do wish it's something I could attend. Is there a place where you could post your notes here? I'm sure many of us would be interested. I love how you call uc the innate/intuitive approach -- I find that very validating.

Mamajaza -- I hate bras, too. I live in tank tops with built-in support. I don't know what I did before those came along!

Amyjeans -- keeping fingers crossed for you!

Jenniebug -- Believe me, I can relate to your struggle! Our midwives should receive my letter today (where I tell them that though I value their service and support, I must do this on my own) and I'm anticipating a phone call. I feel I need closure with them to fully put this behind me. No matter how much I like or respect them, I felt I was giving up a little piece of my power and intuition with each visit. I hope you find a resolution soon.

So...I went and picked up the birth certificate packet today at my local town hall. I got one of those "Boy, are you brave" comments when I said I needed it for a homebirth. All I could do was laugh. Anyway, maybe it's just my state, but some of the questions I just don't feel are anyone's business! They want to know how much weight I've gained (which I've not been keeping track of), what my pre-pregnancy weight was, and how many terminated pregnancies I've had, grouping spontaneous and induced in the same category. I'm tempted to lie on all accounts -- is this info really important??? They also state that the information needs to be filled out "directly after the birth" and filed within 10 days...I suppose that's because I'll have nothing better to do! It's kinda funny, but also quite irritating! Guess I'll get a headstart now!

Chiromom -- don't know if you're into it, but I've heard ingesting part of the placenta helps a lot with afterpains...

I would love some input from you guys for my class. Unfortunately all of my notes are either long hand (written while traveling during the holidays) or on my power point presentation. I will give you the basic overview:

This will include both basic history (esp of medical intervention) and examples of various aspects of pregnancy and labor under each model and the ramifications of choices made/dictated

II.Pre-Natal Care

Using the philosophical values previously presented, we will discuss the basic prenatal options. (I will list the ones I have researched so far...I would love addition input.) I am basically weighing how "knowing" the outcomes of each of these tests would change management of pregnancy as well as the validity and risks of each test.

I will also discuss emotional and spiritual preparation for birth as well as focus on building the mind-body connection and confidence/acceptance of intuition.

III. Choosing a birth team

I will revisit philosophy heavily here while explaining the mammalian birth response/requirements. I will discuss the ramification of others "assistance" and intentions. I hope to empower women who will still choose some level of assistance to retain their personal power and authority throughout pregnancy and birth

this list is waaaay too long to list here...but we will look at the pro/cons of most of the basic choices and what other things they may lead to

V. In depth explaination of how chiropractic care effects the uterus, muscles, ligament, nerve system and bony structures during preganancy and birth. We will discuss specific techniques for common "complaints" of pregnancy and what they mean is happening structurally. We will discuss how to correct these various issues, what to look for during back labor, pre-mature labor, stalled labor etc.

I have this SUPER SUPER cool discussion of exactly how the baby progresses ideally thru the pelvis during the many stages of birth that I'm sure you guys would LOVE! It shows how the baby and the body are perfectly designed to trigger each new positional change just exactly when and how it is supposed to in order to ideally expell a baby. It is easy to see when looking at this step by step process how routine and seemingly innocuous interventions can stall or interfere with this delicate dance. Soooo cool.

And that's pretty much it.

I'd love some feedback on what you think might be missing or just cool resources you have found that might give me addition info.

Maybe later I will post the primary comparisons and examples I have been making in the initial philosophy discussion because I'm sure you guys can think of some more good, thought provoking ideas.

The purpose of the class is to prepare chiropractors (both for their own sake/births) to better educate and support families in their practice for "natural" pregnancy. I want to spread the revolution however I can and these students are really open to these ideas, but have not yet been exposed as a whole. I have also invited some patients who are interested as well. I posted the lecture in the local newspaper but the announcement hasn't run yet. I know I will have at least 25 to 30 students.

Medical Model: pregnancy as illness, potential for danger stressed
Assisted Natural: naturalness of pregnancy more accepted but still focuses on complication and risk
Innate/Intuitive: pregnancy as innate state of the body

II.

Med: Medical personnel hold all the power and responsibility
Assisted: mother somewhat empowered but still guided by those who "know better"
Innate: mother completely empowered and responsible (which creates ability to react appropriately to complications if they arise)

Med: Pain has no purpose, to be avoided at all cost
Assisted: pain "managed" thru natural means mostly
Innate: "pain" redefined and not necessarily anticipated, pain, when experienced embraced and accepted as important part of body's feedback loop

V.

Med: Mind-Body connection ignored or denied
Assisted: mind-body connection considered but easily discarded
Innate: Mind-Body connection embraced and developed as critical part of the process

Those are my major comparisons so far...what have you got? Share please!

Mar

(sorry if lots of typo but kids are shrieking for food and I can't re-check now!)

I know this was discussed in a previous thread but I haven't the time or the computer power to search. What are the recommendations for the after pains. I would prefer not to take a medication (even OTC) but they were hellacious last time for days and I am kinda scared. Any great herbals or homeos?

HI mama's. I woke up this morning thinking again about an unassisted birth. I am not sure though ...dd's birth was pretty intense, although, I know more now than I did then. I am so happy to see that there are so many of you here for support. I LOVE MDC!! Well, its early and my thoughts are foggy, so I will post more later.
darkstar