11 Signs You're a Bad Boss

Thanks to Guy Kawasaki and Matthew May, two posts have recently appeared at the American Express blog for small business, OPEN Forum. Matt describes these as "yin and yang" posts because the first, by him, was a review and discussion called "How to be a Good Boss" (that cool sign kicks off his post). That was followed with an opposing post that I wrote (with a lot of guidance, coaching, and editing from Guy -- he amazes me with his ability to frame things and use language so that ideas are sound, fun, and sticky) on "The Top 11 Signs that You're a Bad Boss." Drawing on central themes from Good Boss, Bad Boss, I argue:

The most crucial test of a boss is self-awareness. The best bosses are in tune with how the little things they say and do impact people, and they are adept at adjusting to bolster both performance and dignity. Several studies, including one by the College Board, suggest that the more incompetent a boss is, the more out of touch he or she is likely to be. Unfortunately, too many bosses think they are in tune with their employees, but live in a fool’s paradise. If you’re a boss, I suggest that review this list of the top eleven attitudes to figure out if you’re acting like a bad boss.

1. “I am going to get mine.” Let’s face it, you deserve to get more goodies and get them first. After all, without you, your underlings would be nowhere.

2. Ride them hard. You keep a close eye on your people because, otherwise, they screw around and screw-up.

3. All transmission and no reception. You pretend to listen to others somtimes; but you are really just “reloading,” thinking of the brilliant thing you are going to say next.

4. No thanks. You don’t baby your employees with all that insincere manners crap. Saying “please” and “thank you” is overrated, wastes a lot of time, and makes you look like you kissing-up to your subordinates.

5. Do it right or don’t do it. When your people make mistakes, you make sure they pay a steep price.

6. Mistakes were made, but not by me. You are so good that you rarely mess-up. Anyway, a smart boss doesn’t display ignorance, admit mistakes, or apologize – that’s what doormats and wimps do.

7. Credit hog. After all, when your people do something good, it is because of you.

8. Kiss up or shut-up. You despise underlings who challenge your ideas and point out your mistakes.

9. Star lover. You focus your energy on hiring, grooming, and encouraging your very best employees. After all, the B players are far less important and a lot easier to replace.

10. Implementation is for the little people. Your job is to develop and talk about big ideas, not to waste time thinking about all the little steps required to make them happen.

11. I don’t how it feels to be you and I don’t care. It’s not my job to hold your hand or understand what it feels like to work for me. I am your boss, not your mommy or daddy.

If you’re an employee with a boss, you should take my survey called the BRASS (Boss Reality Assessment Survey System). It will help you determine if your work for a bad boss. Or, as Guy Kawasaki likes to put it, if you work for a certified brasshole.

My boss is a narcissistic bully. I fortunately do not have to interact with him on a daily basis. He is at the top level of management in the company and I am "in the trenches" with staff who are far removed from him on the organizational chart.
I would appreciate advice regarding how to handle his angry outbursts/attacks when I tell him things that obviously make him feel defensive and perhaps inadequate. I react emotionally and suffer in the aftermath for quite awhile after each incident.
A good example of this type of behavior was a discussion at a recent staff meeting at which the (poor) results of a recent employee engagement survey were discussed. Because of my day-to-day interaction with many members of the staff, I am very familiar with the fundamental issues that have caused people to feel disengaged and "beaten down". I can clearly articulate them, and at this staff meeting I talked about a few. (None of them are directly about him personally...they are about the entire management team's lack of commitment to open and honest communication and its refusal to deal with poor performance at all levels and in all areas.) I was immediately attacked by my boss in a very passive aggressive way - denial of the issues I discussed, defensiveness, dismissal in a condescending tone of voice, etc. I was not representing the issues as my own concern but rather as those of concern to the staff. In private discussions similar to these with my boss he has been more openly aggressive in attacking me as the messenger.
I feel stuck. I am somewhat idealistic and want to make a difference and so I listen to people and try to be their voices because of my status, however, my boss is so insecure and defensive and I ALWAYS end up regretting speaking up. So is my only real option if I remain with the organization to keep quiet and give up hope of making any sort of difference? Unfortunately for me, other than this (significant) issue I really do love my job and the people I work with...