Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Show 3 rehearsals are underway. There are ambitious musical plans for show 3 which involves me not only singing, but attempting to hold a tune.

I was in a choir when I was in grad school, and I was such a bad singer I was made the choir director so that audiences wouldn't be subjected to my voice.

Tommy made me a CD of my part and the whole song. If you get a ride with the Bastard this week, expect to be able to sing along with this CD. I wish I had to go somewhere far this week, I'd make a point of picking up a hitchhiker and making them listen to this one track a few thousand times.

After I get done with this week's show, I think I'll keep the CD just in case the opportunity arises.

If there's one thing I can guarantee, it's that I will have poured coffee over either an item of clothing or myself before the end of the morning. Maybe this is what is wrong with education, we don't teach young people how to drink coffee without getting half of it on your shorts. That's my excuse for the brown stains and I'm sticking to it.

Sad to hear about George Carlin this morning. Saw him about 15 years ago and he was funny and abrasive - he really knew how to push the buttons of an audience. I was an aspiring stand-up comic (how things change) and was in awe of his command of the crowd. Now I feel bad about not going to his show in Asheville, but I really couldn't afford it at the time.

What a weekend! The first show was a sell-out and went well. The new chihuahuas did an excellent job in both writing and performing, and I got to try out an American accent (the thing I hate the most about my acting is that I can't lose my natural voice, so any accents sound really forced - Peter Sellers had the same thing going for him, but it didn't stop him). One thing I miss about our tight schedule is that I don't really get to talk to the audience after the first show - if you were there, feel free to leave feedback on the blog about what worked, what didn't, what you'd like to see. I had to grab something from outside between shows and met a really funny couple who had never seen the show before and wanted to know how we had so many wigs.

The second show was probably the closest to a perfect line-through we are ever going to get. We didn't quite sell out the second show, but we had the rowdier crowd, and I love rowdy! Got to talk to a few people after the second show who had never been before and had a good time.

I had to bolt from our show to the best of No Shame show at NC Stage. Chall and Jonathan did a great job of putting it together, since the No Shamers are a pretty raggedy bunch. I had seen most of the pieces before - I hadn't seen Jim Julien's taste bud thing before and it was pretty awesome. Jim must spend 23 hours a day making costumes, signs and props (Jim, if you're reading this, what was in the flap under your hat?). Feral Chihuahuas ruled the Best of No Shame, as both myself and Kevin Anderson had pieces performed.

Karen Stobbe was at No Shame as well - she and Mondy Carter have a show coming up in the 35 Below Comedy series that should be worth a look. Mondy takes clean(ish) improv to an impressive new level.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Thanks to Tony Kiss for putting us in the "Today In Asheville" section of the Citizen-times.

If you're lucky enough to have a ticket for tonight's show, you'll get to hear more of George "the" Bastard singing, and we'll be debuting the sketches by some of the new writing talents of the Feral Chihuahuas. Katie wrote two pieces that crack me up, John has another new flight of fancy to follow on from his strong debut sketch about the politically-correct joke teller, and contributing writer Kevin penned our show opener. Early show is at 8, late show at 9:30.

I'll be dashing off after the Feral Chihuahuas show to play a part in my sketch "Autoerotic Asphyxiation" at the Best of No Shame Theatre. It gets started at 11 - $5 gets you in.

Is the word ready for two George "the" Bastard pieces being performed at different venues on the one night?

Friday, June 20, 2008

Despite the generosity of listeners like you; Tommy, Andrew and myself are going to be interviewed on WCQS just after noon today. We'll be plugging our upcoming shows, discussing new members, and how it came to be that there are so many British caricatures roaming the streets.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Pleasure Saucer suddenly got a content warning on it, and when I click the thingy that says "Yes, I'm a big boy and I'm allowed to look at salacious offerings without it warping my tiny formative mind", it still doesn't take me to the site.

Amazing how tastefully presented semi-smut is blocked and my mad ravings are accessible to children everywhere.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The demise of the Woodfin Theater Shack caused a move of Chihuahua H.Q. to a newer, even less-disclosed location.

We're hard at work rehearsing for the shows, four rehearsals a week. The new H.Q. is nice, well-appointed, has a working fridge and is carpeted in places, which is good because we all seem to be writing sketches where falling over is an integral part of the piece.

The only drawback is that it is open to the outside world, which is people driving by in their cars, and the people across the road. I would like to write a sit-com about the people who live across the road from Feral H.Q.

One of them likes to drink beer and water his garden shirtless at night. There's either a really skanky son or a really skanky daughter, or both who are dating each other. If there's a mother, she's locked in an upstairs room with a single window. There is a dog, but it appears to change every night. Dogsformer.

I hope they are dealing well with us singing songs about pedophilia or shouting "nipples" at late hours.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Both shows were sellouts with turn-away crowds and a LOT of people who hadn't seen us before!

Tommy, Andrew, Dick and I spent Saturday afternoon painting the Chihuahuas logos on the set at 35 Below. I am a truly horrible artist and this was the first painting I'd done that didn't involve my fingers. After Tommy touched it up, it was presentable, and I loved the way they looked for the show last night.

First time performing sketches since the Halloween show last year, and the new rehearsal schedule paid off well. I got most of my lines right on cue, didn't mess anything up on the sketches and those of you who were there got a rare opportunity to hear me sing.

First show was an interesting crowd, a real mix of people. Stand-up went over well, and I knew we were going to have a good time. Technical problems fouled up one of the videos we had planned on showing, which was a pity, but the final video piece of the night was a real winner. Our new Chihuahuas each took the stage for the first time, and did a great job. I really enjoyed working with Drew on our sketch about how improv is lazy, he got through what could have been a dicey situation.

Second show was an interesting one. I think that all our performances were better on the second show, but it was much more a smile audience (in a few cases a "walk out" audience, thanks for the vertical applause!) than a laugh audience. They went for the visual gags more. I think everyone that stayed for the whole show had a good time.

New show next week that I'm really excited about, and I'm going to go straight from our second show to the Best of No Shame at NC Stage (George "the" Bastard dominating the Asheville theater scene by having pieces performed at two venues at the same night!).

Make sure you catch some of the other acts in the series as well - I went to the OxyMorons show on Friday night and they just keep getting sharper and more funny. This slimmed-down version of the group is tight!

Friday, June 13, 2008

It's worth finding a copy of the freebie edition of this, mad props to whoever did the cover and did the shadow pictures of our mug shots from the web site (if whoever did that happens to be reading this, let me know if I can get a copy), and to see a shot from the Halloween Carol special last year as a centerfold.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

While doing this interview, I tried to creep out Aiyanna Sezak-Blatt by sitting really close to her and shouting obscenities in her face. I was expecting her to wear a pork-pie hat with a little "Press" ticket in it and she wasn't.

A huge success last year, and it's back again. Feral Chihuahuas shows most Saturday nights, a lot of super improv with the OxyMorons, regulars LYLAS and Scott Bunn with Tom Chalmers, and a few newcomers. 35 Below is the place to be!

You can buy tickets online from the main ACT page, or by calling ACT at 828-254-1320

I took a few days to head out of town before rehearsals started - one of the highlights of my trip was a visit to Yankee Stadium to watch the Blue Jays play the Yankees. Here's a possibly drunk bastard after a game.

It's a little different to McCormick field.

So get your tickets now to see the Feral Chihuahuas debut! New chihuahuas, film pieces, musical guests and all the sketch comedy you can handle - finally sketch comedy has come back to Saturday Night!

Since we're one Chihuahua fewer than last year, expect to see a bit more of George "the" Bastard's acting chops. And just like last year, each show will start with new, never-before seen stand-up from the Bastard.

About Me

I am Asheville's most offensive, least-funny stand-up comedian. Come see my shows with the Feral Chihuahuas and other projects. Also read about intractable crosswords and my frustration at being unable to solve them.