Elizabeth Davies: Balancing Santa, Jesus at Christmas

Elizabeth Davies

Friday

Nov 27, 2009 at 12:01 AMNov 27, 2009 at 2:17 PM

This year, my toughest Christmas decision isn’t whether to serve gingerbread cookies or fudge. My greater quandary is over what I want my kids to learn about Christmas. My oldest child is almost 3: What we do this year sets the stage for our family traditions and expectations.

So is it Santa or Jesus? Candy canes or angels? Snowmen or a Nativity scene?

It’s not whether I should splurge for a Thomas the Train set or go with the knock-off brand. It’s not whose house we should go to on Christmas Day, or which church service we’ll attend on Christmas Eve.

My greater quandary is over what I want my kids to learn about Christmas. My oldest child is almost 3: What we do this year sets the stage for our family traditions and expectations.
So is it Santa or Jesus? Candy canes or angels? Snowmen or a Nativity scene?

I’ve never been a big fan of the whole “Santa’s coming down the chimney to bring gifts for all the good little children” story. I had big brothers, so I knew from a very young age that it was all a big hoax.

My inclination has always been to teach my children from the start that Santa isn’t real. Say we have a tough year economically and they don’t get much for Christmas: Does that mean they were bad? That Santa is punishing them for poor behavior?

And as I’ve gotten older, I have been able to see just how easily Santa can overshadow Jesus. In our house, the latter is around the other 364 days of the year, too, so it’s important that we not edge him out of such a big holiday.

Some say it’s cruel not to let children revel in the magic of Santa, a man of goodwill who drops a special present down the chimney of each boy and girl around the globe. Others say it’s too precious to see the innocence of a small child who trusts in this Samaritan he’ll never see.

Those who are anti-Santa might argue that they don’t want to lie to their children. They wonder whether, upon finding out Santa isn’t real, maybe their child will question the existence of more important figures, like God.

Many of us who celebrate Christmas fall somewhere in the middle. We like the fun that Santa represents, but in some way we acknowledge Jesus’ birth as well. Maybe we’ll put a star on our Christmas tree, attend a midnight church service or join in a round of “O Come All Ye Faithful.” I’m willing to bet that most of those people didn’t actually decide how to integrate Santa and Jesus — it just sort of happened, and their children are no worse for the wear.

My family has made small, conscious decisions in recent years: Refusing to say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas,” eschewing Santa decorations, reading the story of Jesus’ birth from the Bible beside the Christmas tree on Dec. 25.

This year, as my child begins to watch holiday movies like “Rudolph” and hear stories like “’Twas the Night Before Christmas,” I intend to balance the Santa/Jesus ratio even more carefully. We can’t escape Santa in this culture, so I want my children to see him as a fictional character or a decoration of Christmas — not unlike a candy cane, a Christmas tree or a gingerbread boy. I want my kids to know that the gifts under the tree came from people who love them, as a celebration of the fact that Christmas is the time when God gave us the best gift of all.

Hopefully, I won’t have a preschool blabbermouth who ruins the fun for children who do believe in Santa. It is, as a parent, my responsibility to instruct him otherwise.

But in our house, for the month of December, my children need to understand two things: Santa is a holiday. Jesus is Christmas.

And there’s a difference.

Elizabeth Davies writes for the Rockford Register Star.

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