today my cheesecake fell on the floor

The floor in front of the fridge
The floor in front of the fridge in a house with 6 dogs
The floor in front of the fridge in a house with six dogs and several workmen
It fell
Bounced three times inside of the fridge and hit the floor
Being as its mega mart cheese cake and roughly the texture of tofu as opposed to the texture of actual cheese cake
It did not splatter
The artificial fruit slipped off <–no big loss there
And one side of the cheesecake made contact with the ground
Now
Some kind of pimp decision had to be made here
There is always the possibility that there were ground level germs that got it
Or maybe it executed a triple lutz unbeknown to me and essentially rolled in the nastiness
And…well, you really shouldn't eat things off the ground
So
I considered it
Within my 15 second window (cheesecake operates on a different time frame)
And then I realise
That's cheesecake nigga!
Why you standin here considerin'?
If you had moved faster you coulda saved the toppings too
The dogs walk in the same dirt that blow through the house
So what if it just took the express bus to your food
That which does not kill you will only make you stronger <–rationalising the craven-ness
And besides
Think about the starving children <—always a good fall back when yu waan nyam too much or nyam tings weh yu nuh fi nyam

So weh me do?
Me tek up di cake
Scrape off di dirty part aka smearing the germs into the entire slice
I notified everybody in the house of the mishap in case them belly nuh strong like mine
And 5 minutes ago…I ate it.
And it was delicious.
Germs?
What germs?
I'm from linstead snitches!
Get at me!