I don’t care if Bristol Palin’s pregnant — let’s look at the resume

Hurry, hurry, step right up to the greatest political sideshow on Earth: The American electoral system.

If you enjoyed previous exhibitions featuring a bunny-bashing president</A>&nbsp;and his drunk brother, you're going to love what's in store this year.

See folks agog that 17-year-old Bristol Palin is with child out of wedlock. And that the father is a hockey-playing Alaska redneck who doesn't want kids, according to news reports based on a MySpace profile that's since been made private.

Watch women, normally liberally, assail Sarah Palin for choosing to campaign for vice president with a 4-month-old Down syndrome baby "who needs her." Is that the sound of left knuckles dragging the ground?

Hear Rudy Giuliani blast those who ask whether Sarah Palin can be a mother and vice president. "When do they ever ask a man that question? When?" he tells the Republican National Convention. Right message, more than a few hypocrites in the cheering throng.

See Lindsay Lohan weigh in the&nbsp;presidential election, and -- I can't believe I'm saying this --&nbsp;see her sum up the situation correctly.

"I get Sarah Palin's views against abortion, but I would much prefer to hear more about what she can do for our country rather than how her daughter is going to have a child no matter what," Lohan wrote.

I realize for some abortion is the issue in any campaign. But it simply doesn't resonate with me.

What does: A nonwar we can't seem to find a way out of, an economy in the crapper and a federal budget desperately in need of liposuction.

What I want to know: What are her qualifications to deal with these issues? What are her positions on them? To wit:

I don't care if she ditched the governor's personal chef, though I recovered from SuperWoman syndrome long ago and wouldn't have hesitated to keep one on board. But I do want to know how she's dealt with Alaska's budget.

For some crazy reason – probably our “Cinnamon Roll Friday” tradition – the guys have decided that they’re entitled to a fresh-from-the-oven breakfast every morning of late. For some reason that’s even crazier, I’ve gone …

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