Best Chain Letter

Subject: Help in this Christmas Season

My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing
this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is
because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when
I try to breathe.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with
leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us
having no money or insurance.

I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy
doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't
cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even
though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real
bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to
everyone you know.

Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every
person you forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with Disney World
and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from
school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into
space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will come back to
earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and
send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better
then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third
base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to
the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. Mommy
is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn
10.

If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and
heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head.
She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden
stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death and then burn forever
in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin'
minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and
shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I
wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on
me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that
very much.

Thank You,
Billy "Smiley" Evans

Warning: For those of you who may be incredibly gullible... NO, this is not a true
story! Burlap Billy is NOT a real boy and you should NOT send this around
as if it were true... sending it around for a laugh is a different matter.