Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Personal Goals, Magick and Anger

Greetings!

A few years ago I made a radical change in my life. I lost 60 pounds and kept them off for three years. I was so proud of myself and happy with my new style of healthier living. Thensomething happened that threw my carefully laid plans and all my hard work for a loop. Menopause. I had been dealing with peri-menopause for the past couple of years and then the classic menopause symptoms began this year. Hot flashes, irregular cycles, then none at all, mood swings, fatigue, my hair texture changed, my complexion changed, and then the most dreaded of all menopause symptoms. (Cue scary music here.) Weight gain.

Well crap. Fifteen pounds back on my frame and it happened so damn fast that it freaked me out. Asked my doctor about it and she said, and I quote, “Welcome to menopause. You’re lucky it was only 15 pounds. Most women gain 25 to 30 pounds. Keep up with that working out and you won’t gain any more.” I left the office feeling deflated and for a few months I figured- Okay, this is just the way its going to be now. It was really depressing. And I admit it- I felt sorry for myself and wallowed in that for a good three months.

Then something wonderful happened. I got mad. Why should I just accept that “Oh this is the way I’m going to look now- because of menopause.” The pretty new clothes I worked so hard to get into are now tight and uncomfortable... But oh well, its just menopause. Wow, I’m so unhappy with all the dramas and delays with my current project. Oh well I’m just stressed out, bitchy, and off kilter because of menopause. It became my go-to excuse. And then something magickal happened...

I got angry. Wicked Witch, table for one please! So, I embraced my anger and really looked at all the BS in my life. Took myself to task for the way I was letting other people and their actions affect me. Yeah the hormonal changes weren't helping but damn it was I a Witch or not? And then I asked myself: Why was I letting the dreaded “M” word rule my life?

Everyday felt like a roller coaster and I decided to try and work with the ups and the downs instead of just white-knuckling it through the mood swings and the physical changes as I was taken along for the ride.

So during the month of August I started thinking about what I wanted to do about it all. It took me a couple of weeks and some dark chocolate- to work everything out in my head and I started the ghastly process of going back to a strict diet. I do know how… I did it three years ago, but by the Goddess you forget- or you block it out- just how much of a pain in the ass the first weeks on a portion controled- healthy diet are. You have to wrap your mind around food in a completely different way, and that takes time. But It's begun. Things can only get better from here.

I am a stereotypical Virgo- and I do best with a plan and a goal in mind. My goal is to loose 5 pounds in the next two months. So my pretty purple dress I bought for the Witches Ball will look even better on. It fits beautifully now, but 5 pounds lost would be great. I figure that’s a realistic goal as I have been warned that loosing weight now will be twice as hard than it was before, because of the hormonal changes… but damn it. I am going to give it my best shot.

Keeping my theme of "You can do this- you have done it before!" firmly in mind I pulled out my book, Book of Witchery and worked my own ritual for weight loss. The ritual is on pages 32-35 if you want to take a look at it. This was the ritual I had created for myself three years ago and it worked so well then that I included it in that book. Seemed to me it was time to remind myself to think and react like a Witch. In other words: “Do the work and back it up with Magick.”

I called one of my best Witch friends yesterday and he and I talked on the phone for about an hour. We traded war stories about writing, touring, and teaching. We laughed our asses off. He made some good suggestions for me to try on a magickal level as I work through “The Change” andI am going to implement them.

We also talked about anger and how it can color your magick and sneak into your life, so I am working on that as well. I always tell my own students to be business like when casting spells and to not cast if you are experiencing wild swings of emotion, or anger. Well, maybe I should put a rider in there: “Unless you are going through menopause- then all bets are off.” Ha- ha. (Yes I am joking, please don’t shoot me an email reminding me about the rule of three and karma…)

So here we go, a Witch trying to loose weight and dealing with menopause. That’s enough to make most folks run for the hills in terror…

Wish me luck- I’ll keep you posted on how I do.

Blessed be, Ellen

PS. There is a smaller version "A Spell for Fitness and Health", in 7 Days of Magic. On page 22.
For the "Book of Witchery" I expanded the spell and turned it into a full out ritual.

Oh Ellen more power to you! I've been going through peri-menopause too for a couple years and it's been rough. You are such an inspiration; please keep us posted with how you're doing. A lot of us are right there with you on this issue!!

Thank you so much for your honesty and sharing of your experiences. You are sooooo not alone sister ;o) Weight has been pretty much a life long struggle for me, and now as that dreaded "M" word is arriving it is now even worse. You have inspired me to not let it be my excuse anymore! Thank you!!! Please keep on doing what you do! :o)

i am sure you are going to do amazing losing the weight you are wanting to lose! tomorrow, i am having a heart cath. after they figure out what is or is not wrong with me, i will be put on a strict eating schedule (i don't call it diet as that sets me up for failure everytime!)i have both books, 7 Days of Magic and Book of Witchery. i will join you in pulling them out for the ritual. Better health and happiness to both of us and to everyone! thanks for sharing this!

Hi Ellen,Menopause, been there, done that. I figured that if I could make it through the change I'd come out stronger on the other side. I did and am still flexing and growing my mental muscles.You can do it too!p.s. as far as the dieting goes I discovered cutting way back on the carbs and boosting up the fruits and vegies really helped me lose weight.paulette

Ellen, I'm not saying this to brag but to encourage you. After menopause I became a reiki master, went to massage therapy school and set up a healing practice, started working out and eating clean, lost about 40 lbs., and last year at age 58 I competed in a bodybuilding competition (bikini class). I feel better than I did in my twenties. Don't let anybody tell you that because you are a certain age that life has to be less fullfilling. You will get through this and you will be better than ever. Let's here it for the CRONES!