Ok. I realize that many serious writers on Daily Kos are writing about many serious things. Democrats and the 2008 elections, the Iraq War, the Libby trial, etc. and so forth. And I read those diaries and invariably learn something from those diaries. So much so, in fact, that I don't really even try to write about those subjects given that I have no particular expertise, only opinion, and that is best relegated to comments and not to my writings.

What I write about is largely observational. I see or do something that strikes me of particular interest and I write it up. Yesterday, feeling pretty lazy, I was looking for something to watch, and utilized my digital cable's "On-Demand" feature. As I poked around with what HBO had to offer on-demand, I landed on Alexandra Pelosi's Friends of God, a documentary about the present-day evangelical Christian movement. Believe me - there's plenty in this documentary to write about. But I'm going to focus on one specific area: Answers in Genesis (AiG).

More.

Picture an auditorium full of cute, bright-faced, wide-eyed children ranging in age from about four to twelve. They are watching whatever is going on the stage with rapt attention. I mean, they are riveted. Here's what they're listening to:

INSTRUCTOR: Well boys and girls - put your hand up if you've heard of the word "evolution".

[Cut to cute scrubbed kids holding up their hands]

INSTRUCTOR: Oh boy. I think just about everyone had their hands up. Hands down. Put your hands up if you've heard that dinosaurs lived millions of years ago.

[Another cut - cute scrubbed kids holding up their hands]

INSTRUCTOR: Dear oh dear. Hands down. Put your hands up if you've heard that people came from ape-like creatures or something like that.

[Yet another shot of scrubbed kids holding up their hands]

INSTRUCTOR: You know, I think just about everybody in the world has heard those things. And I want to tell you right from the start here that I don't believe that dinosaurs lived millions of years ago. And I certainly don't believe that you came from ape-like creatures or any thing like that. I mean, did you grandfather look like this?

[Cut to picture of big screen of an ape-like creature with human features under which is written in big letters, GRANDFATHER? Children laugh wildly]

INSTRUCTOR: I don't think so. Did your grandmother look like that?

[Cut to picture now of same ape-like creature with more feminine eyes, wearing rouge and lipstick under which is written, GRANDMOTHER? Children laugh wildly]

INSTRUCTOR: No. Not at all. Boys and girls, I don't believe you come from ape-like creatures and I don't believe that millions of years (sic). I believe that what the Bible says is true. That God created the world, he created everything in six days, just a few thousand years ago. We don't believe in evolution. Evolution is the idea that some people have to explain life without God! No, I believe what the Bible says, actually, that God created everything and we're going to talk about that.

[Children now paying wide-eyed attention]

Aha!! So that explains this guy's irrational departure from all things scientific - evolution is (GASP) a way to explain things WITHOUT GOD!! It's an attack, I tell you - an assault on Christianity!! The INSTRUCTOR is Ken Ham, founder of Answers in Genesis (AiG). Pelosi's documentary lets us first know in a caption at the bottom of the screen that Ham speaks to 10s of thousands of children each year. A later caption also informs us that nearly 54 million people over the age of 18 do not believe in evolution. After Ham's portion of this is over, we cut to a pretty adult woman lamenting that "most people think Christians are ignorant". She then goes on to explain how the Bible and Noah's Ark just makes more sense, and that it's easier to explain to her children. So was the stork - just sayin'.

Then we get to Buddy Davis, who runs an AiG Workshop. He's an outdoorsy looking guy, with a bad Indiana Jones had and trim salt-and-pepper beard. He wears a guitar on a strap around his neck as he holds a microphone:

DAVIS: Boys and girls, I believe that the Bible is the history book of the Universe. What do I think - that the Bible is what?

CHILDREN: The history book of the Universe.

DAVIS: The Bible's the history book of the Universe. If you believe that man and dinosaurs did live together like it says in Genesis, then how come you can't find the word "dinosaur" in the Bible? Hey, if I look in the Bible, can I find the word "jet airplane"? [editor's note, by RenaRF] two words, but hey - accuracy is clearly a guidepost and not a rule with these guys.

CHILDREN: No.

DAVIS: No. It's a brand new word. Can I look in the Bible boys and girls, and can I find the word "computer"?

CHILDREN: No.

DAVIS: No. It's a brand new word and the word "dinosaur" is a brand new word, too.

Ok - so if the full-on smear of science directed at young children isn't enough to curl your hair if it's straight, straighten it if it's curly, or grow it if you don't have any, we move to this great song Mr. Davis has to share with the children. You have to picture this guy - hat, beard, guitar, microphone, in front of a multi-purpose room full of children. The children are standing, clapping hoe-down style, singing along. On the screen behind him are pictures of Biblical-looking people leading dinosaurs strapped into harnesses pulling ox-carts. I'm not making this up. And then the pictures go to sauropods. And here's the song, ala something you'd hear on the Barney show:

Let's look at the Bible.Let's look in the Book of Job.Turn to chapter 40In verse 15, we're toldOf a mighty creatureThat Job must have knownIn the jungle of the reeds and fernsBehemoth made his home

Behemoth is a DINOSAURA DINOSAUR is he."He eateth grass as an ox""His tail's like a cedar tree""His bones are strong as bars of iron" "He's cheif in the ways of God"Could BEHEMOTH be a DINOSAUR?A mighty sauropod?

OMFG. Well, I guess so. And monkeys could fly out of my ass in about 30 seconds, but it's not very likely.

I am NOT a Biblical scholar. At all. I had never heard of the Behemoth before watching this documentary. So I googled Job 40:15. The issue is the "cedar tree" reference. The verses in question, from the King James Bible:

40:15 Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox.40:16 Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly.40:17 He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together.40:18 His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron.40:19 He is the chief of the ways of God: he that made him can make his sword to approach unto him.

So the Barney-inspired Behemoth-is-a-dinosaur song is automatically dishonest, because the verse it sites is different than what the verse says in the Bible. Although the difference is subtle, "His tail's like a cedar tree" is far and away different than "He moveth his tail like a cedar tree". And the cedar tree reference folks, is the crux of the issue for Creationists: because how could it be anything BUT a dinosaur when known animals of the time period discussed by science did NOT have tails "like a cedar tree"? Oy.

Here's what wikipedia has to say about the Great Behemoth Controversy:

In the book of Job, both Behemoth and Leviathan are listed alongside a number of mundane animals, such as goats, eagles, and hawks, leading many Christian scholars to surmise that Behemoth and Leviathan may also be mundane creatures. Suggested animals include the water buffalo and the elephant, but the most common suggestion is the hippopotamus.

::snip::

Although the animal's tail "moves like a cedar" (40:17), an unlikely description for any of these animals, "tail' could be a euphemism for an elephant's trunk. Moreover, some suggest that "tail" is a euphemism for male genitalia. Support for this is based on another meaning of the Hebrew word "move" which means "extend" and on the second part of verse 17 describing the sinew around its "stones" (the Vulgate uses the word "testiculorum"].

[editor's note, by RenaRF] Clearly AiG isn't going to discuss the concept of a PENIS like a cedar tree. Perish the thought.

Others disagree, pointing to the fact that Behemoth is called "chief of the ways of God" (40:19), indicating that it is not a mere animal.

[editor's note, by RenaRF] As if the Bible is full of vague, fantastical references without explanation. Perish that thought, too.

Another proposal is that the Behemoth is a dinosaur. Some sort of sauropod is usually proposed since large sauropods had tails "like a cedar". Adherents to this viewpoint hold that it is more consistent with the literal application of the text. However, critics usually point out that according to paleontology, sauropods, unlike Behemoth, were tree-browsers that became extinct 65 million years ago, predating the appearance and rise of people or grasses. Additionally, opponents of this theory argue that the text is probably allegory at best.

But who needs, science, right? If the Bible makes some vague reference to a "Behemoth" and no animals of the time had cedar tree-like tails, it MUST be a dinosaur! Watson, get my pen. I have to write this down in verse.

I wish I had a constructive point on which to end this diary. Suffice it to say that groups like AiG are out there actively training children to discount science. Tens of thousands of them, according to the documentary. And these kids are being trained (brainwashed?) at a young age. Many will undoubtedly carry this crippled, dogmatic view of the Bible as an absolute reference forward with them as they mature. And in that, their path as Christians will be crippled as will their path as informed human beings and members of society.

We surely haven't seen the last of the evolution "debate". In fact, I would guess that what we've seen thus far is only the first warning rumblings of a Bizarro-world fight yet to be waged in the future.

73 Comments:

Excellent topic! I had to take a break from the TL blog and I followed your link here! Thank you for this break!

These Religious Righteous Ones scare the hell out of me! They are relentless in their effort to disprove all science in order to prove something they already believe in is correct. It doesn't make sense to me why it enrages them so much just so they can say "We're Right, see here's are proof! You believe us now?" If they themselves utterly and faithfully believe in their version of Creationism why do they try so hard to convince themselves that they are correct?

I used just think it was so they could have bragging rights but now I see that they are trying to brain wash as many young as possible so that they can control the future generations and keep our young away from science altogether. Now that's scary! A nation without Science and people trained to not think outside of the box. Wow, Total Control!

I'm not sure if your hip to the Rock Group Rush but back in 1976 on their 2112 album they recorded 2112 which foretold the future as it was being controlled by the Priests that looked after the well-being of the World. Kind of neat!

Jesuscamp has scene's very similar to the one's you describe from A. Pelosi's doc. Very good movie.

I agree with you 100% on this. And I think Christianity would die w/o the early indoctrination--it is already in dire straits (attendance way down, Church's closing, etc). My wife is a devout Catholic but has barely cracked the cover of a Bible because Priest's don't want the flock to read God's words, only listen to sugar-coated, cherry-picked nuggets every sunday.

I have been trying to read the bible cover-to-cover since lent and it has destroyed the tiny bit of faith I had left--and I'm only halfway through the Old Testament (book of Ezra). The God of the Bible is one messed-up dude.

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