Proverbs 3:5-8 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your flesh
and refreshment to your bones."

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Books I'm Reading

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie

Prayer's Inner Chamber by Andrew Murray

Valley of Vision, a collection of Puritan prayers and devotions

About Me

My NEW Blog is: www.beggarlybouquet.com -- I am not famous. My parents are not famous. My grandparents are not famous. In fact, the only famous person in our family line might be the western outlaw: Belle Starr. But something my great-grandparents, grandparents, and now my parents have passed down to me is the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. This blog is a small effort on my part to pass what I am learning as I follow after Him on to you, and to use what He has given me to bring glory to His name.
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Friday, July 20, 2007

If Boys Would Be Men, Would Girls Be Ladies?

Marscel, protecting Susannah's feet from the rocky ground, and giving us avivid example of what it is to be a gentleman.

Some of you may recognize that I stole the title of this post from Joshua Harris' book "Boy Meets Girl" (although he may have "stolen" it from somewhere else...), but I thought it was quite appropriate for what I am going to discuss in this post: Our different, yet complimentary God-given roles as men and women.

We have been raised in a culture that applauds ladies acting like guys, being emotionally and physically strong (nothing wrong with that in itself), leaving behind homemaking for "a career", looking down on men as "underlings", flaunting their bodies because it's "their choice" and despising the hindrance of children...not realizing that they are missing a tremendous blessing, AND taking on both the woman's curse (Genesis 3:16) and the man's curse (Genesis 3:17-19). Many ladies will look down their nose with raised eyebrows at a girl who tells them that she isn't planning to go to college, because culture has taught us that that is the only way to spend our single years.

In this country, men are taught to be passive and let the ladies romp all over them, they are taught to view ladies as objects rather than God's creation of infinite worth, they are taught that beauty is skin-deep and they can move on to another lady when the one they "had" before doesn't interest them as much, good old-fashioned manners are considered only for sissies, and of course you have to be in love with a girl to carry her books or groceries to the car. He too is taught that he will be a nothing until he attends a college and spends all of that money he doesn't have to graduate.

It is actually quite the cycle: ladies look down on men as weak, and the more they do, the less the men will try to do and the more the ladies will see them as irrespectable and weak, and the more the woman looks down on him, the less he cherishes her...well...you see my point, I hope.

What can we do?

Well...1.) We can redeem our single years.2.) Boys can act like men.3.) Girls can act like ladies.

We can redeem our single years.

Where has God called you? Don't know? Perhaps it isn't to college you should run to find the answer, but to God. At this point in your life (no matter what age you are), you surely don't want to waste any time doing something that you have no passion for, or do not feel God calling you to do simply because the culture seems to demand it. And college can be a costly mistake if you don't need to go there. Pray. Seek God. How has he made you/with what skills has he gifted you? Do these lead to needing a college degree in any way? Is there any alternative: apprenticeship? For young men to provide for a family someday, it may be more necessary to attend college...BUT as I mentioned, there ARE alternatives, and when our trust is in God and we are diligent to do what he has called us to do, he will provide.

If God has called you to college, use your time there wisely and be sure you know what you want before you dive in. Stand strong for God and be a light in dark places. Don't spend all your school time wishing you were somewhere else, or dreaming about the guys/girls there.However, if you think there are more profitable things you can do with your time than going to college: starting your own business, learning about home-making, becoming an apprentice to someone who is good at what they do...or even just serving the church, then jump in, by all means and use your time wisely.

Not only should we use our working time wisely, but we should also use our free time wisely. The most important thing you can do in your free time is to seek God and read His Word.These years as a single, young adult (if you are one) are valuable. They will never come again once you are married, and there will never be the same opportunities to invest your time in the ways that you now can.

So many guys and girls spend all of their single years wishing they were married, and after they get married, they see how very little they actually accomplished while they were single, but no longer have time to do the things they could have done.So, what can you do now that it might be too late to do once you get married?

Boys can act like men.

You young men were created to lead, to provide, to initiate...and to cherish ladies with all purity, like they were your sisters (1 Timothy 5:2). The culture's wrong view has led men to believe that they should be followers (going along with whatever comes around), that the ladies can provide well enough so that they can stay home and watch TV, that ladies will let them know what they want to do, and that those same ladies are as worthless as a can of tuna.

Yes, ladies should have choices, but there are specific, God-given roles for man and for woman. They are very different, but neither is "better" than the other, and they are meant to be complementary. They are meant to show the perfection of God's plan to the rest of the world.So, what can you do now? I suggest reading up on Biblical Manhood/roles. John Piper, C.J. Mahaney, John Ensor and Joshua Harris, just to name a few, have great resources out on this subject.

You can also learn some manners! Seem strange? Well, when was the last time you got a book on manners out with the intent of learning all you could? It may not be in the status quo any more, but what ever happened to good, old fashioned gentlemen? Gentlemen who carried ladies' books for them, who opened doors for them, who would give up their seat so a lady would not have to stand, who initiate sincere conversations with ladies with no other purpose than to be friendly or growing in godliness, who take of hats when entering a building or praying, who would do anything that would make a lady feel more comfortable or that would save her honor. Be a gentleman, and show the world what being "different" can accomplish.

One note here, I must say with due pride that several young men I have come into contact with do exhibit the "old-fashioned" manners that I listed above...most notably in my very own church! You will almost never see a lady standing when it is in the power of one of these young men to give her his seat. Never worry about opening a door if your hands are full (or even if they aren't) if these modern-day heroes are around - the doors will open before you as if by magic! If it is raining after church, just look outside, and you will see several young men carrying umbrellas (their own idea) for the ladies as they go to their cars.

To those of you who strive to be gentlemen, you have my most sincere appreciation and honor...which leads me to my last point:

Girls can act like ladies.

Ladies, it is up to us when we see a display of chivalry and gentlemanliness to encourage the young man by taking the offered chair, letting him carry our bags, and saying "thank-you" when he opens a door. If he begins a conversation with us or starts a discussion about spiritual things, we must support him in every way possible. These young men are the leaders of tomorrow...and we must let them lead! Not only must we let them lead, but also we must be their friends...their sisters in Christ, whom they can trust and count on.

For many of us girls, college may not be something that would be as useful to us as it might be to some men. What then are we to do? Embrace the idea that being a godly wife and mother is one of the noblest callings a woman can have, and then prepare. It is a fact that most of us will end up married, and why is it that we think we can spend years at college becoming a teacher or nurse, and think that we don't have to learn anything about homemaking before we are thrust into it? If we go to college for 4 years, and then get a job for...say 2 years before getting married, that is only 6 years in our "career". When we get married, it will be (in most cases) AT LEAST 20 years - probably more! So, why prepare so little for this vocation that will last longer than any other?

I am at a place in my life, where I must choose to put away many of the old things and selfishness and take on a new task: preparing to serve my future husband and make our future home a haven of peace and love. And, it isn't the easiest thing, seeing friends go off to college while you stay behind, but I trust that one day it will be more than worth it, when my future husband sits down to a home-cooked meal in his cozy, clean house.:) However, you do not have to spend every waking minute as a homemaking intern (though that may work out best for many families), but also you can use this time to do things for God that you may not have the time to do once you are married. I blog (if you couldn't tell), am working on writing a book, serve with our church and at our church (including taking over leadership of a biblical accountability group for younger girls), I may help my father with his business, and hope to serve some of the families in our church with younger children someday. These are things that might not be so easy to do with a husband and children.

So, growing in Biblical Femininity is a grand adventure that not many people set out on these days. Make the most of it.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Why would you want a mouse in your bed?

I used to want a pet mouse...but no longer. I admit, this photo of a mouse I have here is showcasing an exceptionally cute mouse, but I have little relish for "wild" mice...boxer or no. So, imagine, if you will, that this mouse has red eyes and sharp fangs...

...ok...now imagine that he is covered in germs - nasty germs that could cause nasty diseases if you got them. Why would you want a mouse in your bed?

As a guest preacher said at our church this past Sunday (paraphrasing): "God provides us with many illustrations from our own lives."

For the past few nights, I have been made aware of the presence of a mouse in my bedroom. Not a huge, HUGE deal, because my bedroom is large, and I have poison. I am able to tolerate the scurrying of a mouse for a few nights. I just can't stand being on the same floor as them while I know they are around (hence the pictures of ladies jumping onto chairs whenever a mouse is in the house). I'm not sure what causes this, but perhaps it is a healthy fear of germs and being bitten that God has placed in all women. Perhaps it is the fact that, as long as I'm in control (being able to sleep while the mouse is being poisoned, being ABOVE the mouse and able to squash it if need be) I am alright, but as soon as there is a possibility of the mouse gaining the upper hand (running up my leg - eek!) my resolve weakens. Perhaps. In any case, tonght I was sure that I would sleep fine, because I could hear the mouse eating the poison I had placed out for his (short-term) delight. I finished what I was reading and shut out the lights. I then closed my eyes and started to doze off into a peaceful slumber. *scuttle, scrape, scuttle, scuttle* "EEEEEEKKKKKK!" (well...at least, that is what I was THINKING...) I felt a breif pressure on my covers, and my mind was suddenly VERY awake. I flashed the covers off (throwing whatever had landed on my covers off) and flicked on the lights. I quickly glanced around and assessed the situation. No mouse...oh...wait. There it was, on top of my foot-high CD case rack, behind (of all things) a cat statuette (it's a girl cat, I know it). If there is one nice thing I can say about this mouse, that would be that it is very athletic (I shall call it Jarred! lol). It had somehow jumped onto my bed, and now hopped off of the CD rack. Needless to say, I grabbed my pillows and charged upstairs, wondering if I would ever be able to have peace from the mice again in my own room. Then...could it be? - a lightbulb! I have a terrier. Terriers kill mice and rats as part of their instinct. This Terrier is very good at that. Hmmm... So, Teddy, our dog, is now employed in the honorable service of killing the mouse. What a hero!

So, where am I going with this? Two places:.

We need to choose carefully what we let into our "beds". Everything is not as "innocent" as it seems.

To do this, we need help outside of ourselves, and often that help is right in front of us...but we just keep overlooking it.

"Mice like rats are a major health hazard. They are responsible for the spread of many diseases, some of which can be fatal to man. They can eat food, which is intended for human consumption, and contaminate much more with their urine, droppings and fur. Mice can also cause structural damage to property by gnawing through wiring, pipework and other materials. Diseases spread by mice are Salmonellosis, which is a type of food poisoning, gastro-enteritis accompanied by headache and fever. Parasites include mites, ticks, tapeworm and fleas." - Northampton Borough Council

"This cute mouse can do all of that? No! It can't be true." It is.

What's sad is that, though we may be aware of the damage a mouse can cause, there are many more things that are FAR more damaging to our lives - and our spirits - than mice...and yet, we let them into our lives day after day. What am I talking about?

Movies/what we see.Luke 11:34-36"Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness.Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness.If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, it will be wholly bright, as when a lamp with its rays gives you light."Books/what we think on.Philippians 4:8"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."Video games/what we spend our time doing.Ephesians 5:15-16"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. "

How do you define what you allow "into your bed"? Is it by what "feels" right at the moment? By what your friends dictate? What isn't "TOO bad"? The question isn't how close we can come to some imaginary line - it is: how can we best obey what God has commanded, bring honor and glory to him, and not spiritually hurt ourselves however "big" or "small" it may seem, but in fact, to GROW in Him. There are many "diseases" out there, hiding in a "cute" or "attractive" skin. How do we sort out what is pleasing to God and what isn't?

There are so many "half-truths" an "candy-coated lies" out there, that it is virtually impossible to come up with a fool-proof formula for avoiding evil...however, what we need isn't a formula - it is Jesus. If we are uncertain about the quality of something for our spirit, we should first research it and then evaluate it. Do I really need this? If I have this will it help to mature me into a godly man/woman? If Jesus could have done this with his time, do you think he would have? Does it promote wrong thought patterns/desires/attitudes? Does it cause me to sin? Will it matter 5, 10, or 20 years from now if I don't do this? Etc. Asking yourself these sorts of questions can help you to take a step back and get a better perspective. Your life won't be ruined by missing going to one movie with your friends, or selling an x-box. You can also ask a trusted friend. Not one who you know will give you the answer you want, but one who really cares about what you do to your spirit, and will tell you the truth. The more you allow mice in your bed, the easier it gets to live with it. The more you hear swearing, think about the perfect "happily ever after", view brutal killing, see evil spiritual practices etc, the more you get used to them, and the less "bad" they seem...but no matter how "bad" or not they seem, that doesn't change their effect on your spirit.

The answer is right there: God's Word. We just have to be willing to honestly search for the truth, and be willing to sacrifice what we might enjoy or have become used to in order to nurture our spirits.

We should have the same cautiousness for/wariness of sin entering our lives as we would for a mouse entering our bed. We should attempt to prevent those situations which could cause us to stumble, and if they are thrust upon us, to do what we know would be pleasing to God - to cling to what is true and flee from what is potentially corruptive and damaging.

Well, it is now 2am, and I can't believe I just wrote all of this...but I hope it provokes you to thought. If you have any questions/comments let me know. Anything I could add you may tell me as well...keep in mind that I DID write this at night...when I should have been sleeping.;)I ain't letting no mouse in MY bed!