My son, Joseph, died on May 26, 2005 after one hour on earth. This blog helped me sort through my feelings and prepare for his sister, Eleanor Grace, born in July 2006. Here's the ongoing saga of learning to parent after a loss.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

The Good

Soon to be followed by, of course, The Bad and The Ugly, but I don't have time for all three right now.

The Good: We're all getting a lot more sleep! Eleanor's general pattern lately has been to do one four-hour stretch, followed by one three-hour stretch, followed by a second three-hour stretch that's a little more restless and dozy than deep sleep. Usually for that last stretch I bring her into bed with me, since Andy's gone for the day at that point. She was going to bed when we did, so I was getting the same amount of sleep as she was, and it's totally doable. I had tried her out in her own crib a few times and she did fine, but her room is directly below ours, down a short flight of stairs in our townhouse, and I got tired of going up and down...also, something about her being on a different floor bothered me - I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. So she's been sleeping in our room, off in a darker alcove so we can read or watch TV without disturbing her. She does nap in her crib, so I don't worry that she won't be used to it.

I did recently decide that she probably needs a more normal bedtime, since we were keeping her up with us until she conked out on her own (generally between 11 pm and 1 am) and she, not to mention me, was way overtired at that point. So last night I decided to try putting her to bed earlier. We gave her a bath at 7:45 - she loves her bath and it really relaxes her. Then we put her in jammies, fed her, and read her a story, and I put her in her swing in our room (she sleeps really well in that swing, although I don't want it to become too much of a habit) at 8:15. She fell asleep immediately, even though she'd been awake when I put her down.

She woke up a half hour later and wanted her pacifier - she seemed wide awake, but content, so I just gave it to her and left her. Then she wanted the paci about every ten minutes for the next half hour, but I just kept giving it back to her and she seemed happy, so I left her. (I would not let her cry, just so y'all know.)

About 9:15, she fell asleep. I figured she'd be hungry again by 11, so I planned to sort of semi-wake her to eat and then go to bed myself. But when I tried to feed her at 10:45, she was fast asleep - she didn't even wake up until I changed her diaper. So I put her back down and turned out the light, but I lay awake, certain she'd wake up at any moment.

She didn't wake up until 3:30 a.m. Three. thirty. A. M.

Of course, I hardly slept at all. I know I got up at least once to make sure she was breathing, and on at least two other occasions I woke up Andy by poking him and whispering "Are you awake? She's still sleeping! I don't believe it! Do you think she's OK?" He was not amused.

Anyway, she woke up long enough to eat at 3:30, and then fell asleep again tuntil Andy's alarm woke her around 5:30. Honestly, I don't think she'd have woken up if she'd been in her own room, because she barely snacked and then fell right back to sleep. She was restless after that, though, and I brought her in with me and we dozed on and off until 7.

She's also taking a nap now. For two hours so far. In her crib.

Lest it sound like I only value my baby for her sleeping habits, I have to say she's an angel. We avoided the dreaded colic, although she's been a bit more fussy the last few days. I'd heard that increasing fussiness at approximately six weeks after the due date was normal, so I'd bet that's what it is. She has started smiling more and more often, which is the best thing in the world. I recently figured out a foolproof way to get her to do it - apparently, repeating back to her the gruntly, snuffly noises she makes is the funniest thing ever. Now all I have to do is go "heh, heh, heh" in a low gravelly voice and she gives me the hugest, gummiest grin. It's amazing how much more of a little PERSON she is now, with her own personality. She loves to be held in a standing position so she can bear weight on her legs, and will do it for hours if we hold her. She loves her bath but hates her carseat buckles (not the carseat itself, thank goodness).

1 Comments:

This is about the same time that I began putting Amelia to sleep earlier, too. And we were surprised that she did so going to sleep earlier because we also started out our parenting career putting her down when we went to bed to make sure we'd all get the most sleep we could. And I know what you mean - if I ever wake up any time before dawn and Amelia has slept through or longer than expected, I can't fall back asleep because I am just SO sure she is about to wake up. Now that she is sleeping most of the time, so am I. It's so wonderful to wake at 6 or 7 am and say gee, we didn't get up last night! Of course my boobs are usually pretty uncomfortable!!!!