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Tea Party Begs Queen Elizabeth II – Take Us Back Please?

After the election, a wide variety of responses to the completedisconnect between reality and the right-wing blogosphere have emerged. On the popular right-wing website the Free Republic, one particular tea party member has posted an Open letter to the Queen of England to much applause, which we will reproduce now for your amusement:

Your Majesty,

We, the people of the former American colonies, would like to offer our most sincere apology over that little misunderstanding we had 236 years ago. Had we known that we were going to be subjects anyway, we could have saved a lot of trouble and hard feelings.

We were under the mistaken belief that we would be free, sovereign citizens; we believed that our hard work would yield its own rewards without someone coming along and taking what we built in the name of “Fairness.” We thought our laws and Constitution would protect us from a foreign born dictator, and our freedom to worship would prevent us from becoming a corrupt, morally bankrupt society (silly us).

Little did we know that our own free press would intentionally sabotage, deceive and withhold the truth from us in order to reelect a Socialist that still holds distain for our nation and contempt for its founding principles. Nor did we believe that there would be so many citizens dependent on government handouts that they would blindly elect an unqualified charlatan, let alone reelect him.

Anyway, Your Grace, we are truly sorry and humbly sincerely beg your forgiveness. If you can find it in your heart to forgive us and take us back, we promise never to trade British oppression for Socialist tyranny again.

Your most humble servants,

The American People

Now, beyond the bad grammar, the letter has a few issues. One, it is clear this person operates under the banner of the “Sovereign Citizens,” a group listed as domestic terrorists by the FBI. But more than that, they have no idea how the rest of the world works.

But, for our friends in the United Kingdom, and to the Queen herself, I apologize and tell them that, no, we will not force them to endure the funny hat wearing, bad sign carrying buffoons of the Tea Party, and shall keep them for ourselves. They might be a few sticks short of a bundle, but we would not wish to unleash their insanity on to the nobility of the United Kingdom.