the world according to me

Come play in my world for awhile!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The other night was an average night in the world according to me. The kids were in bed and I:

*Plopped onto the couch and kicked my feet up on the coffee table,*Sipped my glass of wine,*Noticed a baseball game on tv,*Felt my eyelids begin to droop as I slipped into a semi-comatose state. Baseball has the magical abiliy to transform me from a chatty and energetic KathyB! into a catatonic lump in nothing flat.

It's a wonder Pat doesn't watch it more often.

***

I hadn't fully completed the transition to my zombie-state when something on the screen caught my eye. Grasping desperately to stay coherent I attempted to start a conversation.

KathyB! What a shame! What did the park used to be called?

Pat: What are you talking about?!

KathyB! You know... Like when they changed Candlestick Park to 3Com Park... I like the old, traditional park names much better. Besides who can even keep up with all the names. Didn't they change Candlestick to Monster Park...?

Pat: That was years ago, Kathy. It's still Candlestick. And what are you talking about?!?

KathyB!: (a tad of annoyance creeping into her voice) Chan Ho Park. What was the original name?

KathyB!: (thinks to herself) For cyin' out loud, this isn't rocket science. Follow along hubster.

Monday, November 2, 2009

**Third Place**KathyB!: Somebody needs to stay here and hand out the candy. Do you want to trick or treat with daddy or me?

Abby: Actually, mom, I think you both better come.

KathyB!: Why...?

Abby: Because those candy bags get really heavy and slow us down. We'll need both of you to haul the bags if we wanna make good time.

**Second Place**

On the afternoon of Halloween we were getting ready to go to a party, then trick or treating, and then straight to an outdoor movie/bonfire at our neighbor's house. Adults were supposed to dress up, but I spent so much time making the kids over that I was running out of time to do my own costume: I was going to be leftovers. All I needed to do was wrap myself in tinfoil and put an expiration date on my front. I dispatched my dearest husband (hereforth known as Captain Smart Ass or CSA) to check on the tinfoil inventory:

KathyB! Just go check so I know what I have to work with...

(returning from the kitchen where he checked the half-full box of tinfoil. 250 square feet of tin foil)

CSA: I dunno Kathy. I don't think we've even got enough to get around your middle...