As one group of rowdy young bachelors recently discovered, traveling to Charleston, South Carolina can yield more than just stylish kicks, delicious food, and a summer to remember. It can also yield that elusive creature known to the world as Bill Murray.

The actor/comedian/demigod/co-owner of Charleston’s minor league baseball team (the RiverDogs) recently crashed a bachelor party in Charleston to offer a bit of advice, not for the groom but for the groomsman. Murray was eating at a steakhouse, presumably not far from the home he owns near Charleston, when inspiration struck. The video–via Deadspin–is below, followed by a transcript of his advice:

“If you have someone that you think is the one … take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world and go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And … when you land at JFK and you’re still in love with that person, get married.”

Okay, maybe far-fetched advice for most of us, but not too surprising coming from Mr. Murray. This is the guy who recently celebrity bartended but gave everyone a shot of tequila regardless of drink order. He’s same sage man who replaced his agent with an answering machine. (Call a certain number and leave your idea. If he likes it, he’ll call back.)

He’s as wise as his years and throughout his career has offered us these five insights to love of all stripes.

1) True love is about commitment, and if any of us commit to another human the way Bill Murray committed to capturing that gopher in Caddyshack, then we’re doing OK. (Writer’s Note: Yes, the video is grainier than a bran muffin, but if you didn’t grow up watching Caddyshack on a busted TV, then you didn’t grow up watching Caddyshack).

2) Always accept gifts graciously, especially if that gift comes in the form of a crayon ponyfish.

3) Most Southerners know that table manners are important, regardless of whom you’re dining with. Bill shows us what can happen when we let those manners slip. Hint: It involves your date breaking into none-too-kind poetic verse.

4) Life can be stressful, and that stress can weigh on any relationship. In Groundhog Day, Bill reminds us that if we let stress take over, we’ll end up with a broken alarm clock perpetually playing Sonny and Cher’s “I’ve Got You, Babe,” which keen eyes will recognize as a metaphor for a strained relationship. Trust me, I was an English major.

5) “You have to do something. You have to take a chance.” Bill’s emotional speech at the end of Scrooged reminds us all that kindness begets kindness, and if we act with kindness every day, we’ll reap what we sow.