The Things That You Should Never Confide to a Gossip

Updated on August 12, 2014

Gossip is found in some beauty salons

"I shouldn't say this, but . . ."

How does gossip get started?

It starts with the usual symptoms: sadness, feelings of loss, rejection, low self-image, they are all leading to one dark place: Depression. We’re all familiar with this demon with no shape, size or color, but one. Black. Pure, coalmine black. That’s depression.

Always lurking around the next success, victory, or dab of happiness in our lives. He or she’s there, ready to drag us into that dreaded pit of filth, muck, and mire that comes with its own built-in deception device that blinds us into believing that there is no way out of this dark cave that perpetually leads us in and out of illusions, similar mazes and more questions about our own faith, confidence and existence.

Honest to God, I really haven’t an inkling to prove depression is male or female. It’s just that depression sometimes takes on the role of an abusive-husband or boyfriend, and we are his “victims.”

Does my description of depression make sense?

"Wow, Mary Sue. That's hard to believe."

Gossip: A step-by-step progression

Do you know what the next step is when we fall prey to depression? Easy answer. Talking to someone, anyone who knows us and that gives us a sense of peace, not real peace. What usually happens is that these people who live next door to us called gossips, are always aware of when we are being assaulted by depression. It’s honestly uncanny how these people know almost a day ahead that on a certain day of the week we are going to be crawling with our faces on the filthy floor—begging for a friendly ear to listen to our moaning.

Oh yeah. Before long, when the gossip gently says, “Come on, son, (or miss), trust me. I have been in your shoes, so “spill your guts,” to me. I promise to not tell a soul,” we are bawling, squawling telling right and left the inner-most feelings we have kept for months. Mix-in some liquor, and in the beginning of this “Cryfest,” it feels good to tell another person the way we feel, but as it gets more involved, the more people we name and how we “really” feel at how they did us. The gossip loves every minute. They needed some new material to spread throughout the neighborhood. The gossip is so generous. They never let your glass run dry of whiskey.

Even these pretty belles gossip

If we gossip, we get what we deserve

And if you or I are so foolish as to confide our most-guarded secrets to a gossip, we deserve whatever we get. Gossips have hurt us many times before, and yet, we seem to forget “those” times, just as long as these friendly tale-toters stick around and let us lean on them until we feel good again.

Bad mistake. No. Huge mistake, if we are fooled by a gossip for the third time. And when I say huge, I mean huge.

Take this list for instance.

“Things That You Should Never Confide To a Gossip,”

Is the real-truth. No holds barred. No smoke or mirrors. Memorize this list if you must, but just take my points as a friendly reminder to keep thy mouth shut when you are depressed when dealing with a gossip or anyone else.

Kids gossiping? What has become of our world?

"Oh my! She did whatttt???"

Gossiping has been here as long as time

How sad for teens to gossip

Never confide that your preacher’s older brother who lives in another state is really gay and his congregation doesn’t know it.

Never confess that you know for a fact that the mayor of your town was a deserter during the Vietnam War.

Never confide that you have had “secret feelings” for your grocer’s wife who is six years younger than you.

Oh, never tell a gossip that your wife used to have a drinking problem.

Never talk to a gossip about your next-door neighbor who loves to wear children’s clothes when his wife is out of town.

Never let it slip that your older brother got arrested last week on a D.U.I.

Never voice your opinion on the clothes your son’s tenth-grade English teacher wears. “She looks like a twenty-dollar whore with that tight skirt,” you blab to the gossip’s delight.

Keep it to yourself about the eighteen-year-old girl last year who had this serious crush on you when she worked in your office during the summer.

And please, keep “this” under your hat: the baby she had was not yours.

Never talk about public figures such as the police chief whom you say, “Is a complete idiot and ‘apple polisher,” to the gossip who is writing something down in a small notepad.

Do not tell about that one time in college when you and two frat brothers had an all-night “Weedfest,” and you got so buzzed you tried to fly off of your frat house.”

Do not tell the gossip about your insurance agent making several inappropriate moves toward your wife two years ago.

Comments 24 comments

Ah Kenneth, us women are the ultimate gossiping sex it has to be said . . . we just cannot resist! Loved your pic selection! Good to be back and reading your articles my friend.

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Eric,

I confess to you only that I am a member of "G.M.A." You should know what this group is.

Thanks for the hilarious comment.

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Well, hello, SuzieHQ,

I have missed you. So glad that you are back. And thank you, dear friend, for the sweet comment and visit.

Thanks so much for the reading of my hubs.

God bless you.

mgt28 2 years ago

The list could go on and on: never gossip about who influenced your hiring in your current job or previous one.

If you are a 19 year intern and you have a crush on a 35 year old middle manager do not gossip about that to 29 year old women friends of yours, one of them went to college with wife of said middle manager.

Oh Ken, it is non of my business, but did you have to say that? I await a hub with the 'Non Of Your Business' as a title.

carrie Lee Night 2 years ago from Northeast United States

Voted funny! :). Thank you for sharing :). I ignore a lot of gossip and ask the gossiper where they get their information because most of the people spreading it don't get any information from the source. Its a rat race that will never end. Interesting topic :)

Scarface1300 2 years ago

Love this haha. I will watch who I confide in in the future. Thanks

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

mgt28,

Firstly, thank you for your lively comment. Secondly, no, I did not have to say that, 'none of your business,' at the hub's conclusion. It was merely a play on words when a gossip asks where did you get your shoes? I wish I had the guts to say, none of your business, but I do not have that much nerve.

And since you brought it up. I will think that idea over: A hub titled "None of Your Business," I feel it will be one for the record books. Thanks again.

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Scarface300,

Good idea to watch whom we confide in when we share details.

Oh, man. I wish I had used this one: Never confide in your current girlfriend about Feelings you still have about your Ex.

Hindsight is 20/10 to me.

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Carrie,

You are right to ignore gossip and gossipers.

Good idea to ask where they get or got their information. Most gossips will stutter and stammer and walk off. I wish they all would.

Thanks, dear Carrie, for the visit. Come back anytime you like.

sheilamyers 2 years ago

This is a very good warning. Gossips abound where I work so I "test" new people. I tell them something I don't care if everyone else knows it and add "But don't tell anyone". If the info gets back to me, I know that person is a gossip and I don't tell them anything else. The problem with most gossips is that even if you don't tell them anything "juicy", they'll make something up and spread it around because they enjoy starting rumors just as much as they enjoy gossiping.

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, sheilamyers,

Amen, sister. Great way to "weed-out," gossips/troublemakers in the community, workplace or anywhere groups of people congregate. Would it work at church?

I wish I had used this years ago at a garment plant in the early 70's. There were people who came through our department and they would always start out by saying, "Heard the latest?"

That was our way to know some trash was going to be dropped. But we listened anyway. Shame on me.

sheilamyers 2 years ago

Kenneth: It would probably work at church.

The dreaded "Heard the latest?" I hate that! Then there's the "I have it on good authority that ...." Both of them want to make me scream.

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, sheilamyers,

LOL. I agree with you. What about this one: "I shouldn't say anything, but . . ." Well, don't say it. The gossips have their ways don't they.

Amusing indeed and I totally agree there are things you must never tell another soul.

sheilamyers 2 years ago

Kenneth: "I shouldn't say anything, but ...." is the absolute worst. As you said, if the person starts a statement with that, they shouldn't be saying anything at all about it.

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Gypsy Rose Lee,

Thank you, dear friend, for the sweet comment. This hub has worked on ME since it was published. I am now more careful what I say, even to close friends, if they want me on the phone.

Is this being paranoid?

Naaah, I call it good sense.

Come back anytime you like.

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, sheilamyers . . .

I have to agree with your statement and comment. When I worked at the newspaper and a new employee was being hired, this set-off rumors galore and other workers would creep up to me and start their "confidential" propaganda with THIS phrase.

Before the day was over, more than five various "I shouldn't say anything, but's'," had been shred with me.

And none of them came true.

Thanks, dear Sheila, for stopping by.

Have a peaceful night.

Tiffanyapril 2 years ago from Michigan

Hello,

I hope you and your family have been well. My gmail address was hacked into it. Long story. Plus other things. I have to admit I slip up and listen to gossip. I also have to admit that I let my tongue slip. I learned my lesson the hard way. I slip with number nine. I was younger and stupider then.

I am strong introvert now. I am happy. God Bless you and your family.

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Dear Tiffanyapril,

It is so GREAT to see you back again. I am very happy. I have missed you. My family is well. My daughter who has been in a big hospital in Birmingham, Al., for 60 days, is improving greatly. Thank God. And I appreciate that warm wish.

I pray that you and yours are fine. I am so glad you are in my world, Tiffany.

I mean it.

Keep in touch with me. :)

Tiffanyapril 2 years ago from Michigan

Hi Kenneth,

I miss you as well. You been great inspiration to help me through my problems. I am so happy to hear about your daughter! God is good! I hope she can be home for the holidays. I know with the power of God it is possible.

I will! I hurt my back when I moved out of my apartment. I broke my lease for that safety concern. It took longer to heal. I had someone to help me through me. He my special best friend.

My dad is get through with the help of God and prayers of friends. I am glad!

I have no clue what I did when those accounts got hacked. I did loose your email address. Please email me whenever it is good.

tiffanyapril.griffin@snhu.edu

God Bless you and your family

Abby Campbell 2 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

Loved this, Ken! Gossip is what makes the merry go round for most it seems... something I so hate. Thanks for sharing... and again making me smile as I read your list of don'ts. Number 5 really made me chuckle. Have a wonderful day, my dear friend. :-)

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Tiffany,

I am so very sorry for your back. I am. I am glad that you wroteme. And give the praise to God for the help I gave you. I if as much as think that I can do anything without him, I will be convicted. The Lord Jesus said, "For without me, you can do nothing." But in His tender mercies, he helps us help others--and in your case, a Very Special friend. I am putting my email up so you can copy and keep it.

Email me anytime you like.

Love you and God blesss you, Kenneth

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Abby,

I agree with you 100%. Thank you for the warm and sweet comment. You are a dear friend and I value your thoughts.