My One Word – Sufficient

My #Oneword for this year of #Sufficient should have felt like a blessing, but instead I was left feeling that somehow I must not be enough on my own. I felt a yoke of shame when I thought about all of the tasks and labels that used to be part of my make-up. I missed the days of working up a sweat in the garden, and I missed the days of re-decorating my home. Even more, I missed the days of serving and caring for so many different people. Yet when I heard God whisper His Word for me, I knew He was calling me higher, away from my old view of myself.

I knew that HE had bought my salvation at the cross. I knew that HE was the one to work in the hearts of my loved ones. But physically? Well, I did not realize how much of my working had been done in my own strength, until that strength was cut in half, and then in half again, and then I stopped measuring the cuts.

When my Rheumatoid Arthritis medication stopped being effective, and I began the long hunt for one that would work, I thought it might take a few months. I could not have seen that the search would lead me through failure after failure, and through side effects that would leave me reeling. I certainly would not have expected that over a year and a half later I would still be waiting for the right medication that my body could tolerate. But I also did not anticipate the true sufficiency that I would experience.

Have you ever felt the arms of someone stronger carrying you through the storm?

In the midst of the year of medication failures, another storm raged around me: my husband had total knee replacement surgery when a 40-year-old injury finally called out for relief. His recover process brought a pain that was deeper than he had expected it would go. One night in agony, he cried out for me to help, and I could only offer what I had been given: the arms that carried me would stretch to carry him also.

And those arms never let go of us.

When we sat in chairs on opposite sides of the room, each one dealing with a different set of obstacles, I found myself looking up to catch the glimpse of my husband’s compassionate gaze.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, it hurts, but I am okay. How about you?”

“Yes, I feel especially weak today, but I am okay.”

The thoughts in my mind were echoing the Scripture God had given to me to confirm my #Oneword for the year. Those words never felt truer than they had throughout this year. In a place where I knew that I truly was NOT enough, a joy had been gifted to me. A sufficiency beyond our own had carried my husband and me when we could find no other way:

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

Arms of Grace carried meWhen arms of my own had failed.Strength from above lifted meWhen legs of my own were stilled.

Sufficiency poured forthFaithfulness displayed

Now I will boast of my weaknessI will tell of my own lackFor power of God is displayedWhen I am filled with Him.

On the day I sat down to contemplate these words, the pain meds were helping, but the RA drugs were still not reducing the disease itself. Frustrated with my weakness, I tried to rush the task in front of me. As I finished the laundry and pushed the closet door, my wrist slammed into the corner of the doorframe. I crumpled from the pain, and looked to see the very joint where the inflammation had settled, was now swelling even more and new bruising was beginning. As the tears rolled down my cheeks, I recognized the whisper of my Sufficient One:

Rest in Me, Beloved. You don’t have to rush to carry that name of the “sufficient-task-completer” any longer. I have given you a new name now. You are MY BELOVED: THE ONE WHO LEANS ON ME.

AS I complete my year of the #Oneword of #Sufficient, my heart has found a resting place that feels more beautiful than I could have imagined when this year began. I am glad that I know that I am not enough now. I would not want it to be any other way. HE has become my All Sufficient One.

Bettie Gilbert

Bettie can be found in a small town in rural Southeast Wisconsin, where she lives with her husband of 39 years. You can find her blogging at BettieGsRAseasons.com where she is seeking to be transparent with the journey that God has her traveling with Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, and Osteoporosis.

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7 Comments

Your messages always inspire me. Pain in our physical bodies can cause many stresses. Pain in our spirits can cause many stresses, too. Our son has RA and often has days of pain. He usually doesn’t mention anything to us about his pain. He will tell us when he goes to the doctor and then, will share how his RA pain has flared. I suffer from chronic back and neck pain. Some days are good and some days are not. I am thankful for understanding family and friends who pray for our son and for me. I am thankful for God’s grace. 🙂 God holds us in His loving arms every moment.

Oh Melissa, I did not realize that your son has RA. He will be in my prayers now, as I also pray for you with your own chronic pain. I am so thankful for the ways that God joins us together to lift each other in prayer. He does understand all of those stresses that we carry, doesn’t He? What a precious Savior. May you be blessed as you obey Him in all of the beautiful sharing that you offer too.

Thank you for allowing me to share my heart here! And the timing of this was so much from the Lord, as He is bringing this truth home to my heart even deeper today. You all are such a blessing to me. I am praying for Chronic Joy this year, that God would continue to use this ministry for His purposes and encouragement!

Oh, Bettie, this is so moving and beautifully written. Tears sprung to my eyes as I read about your increased physical limitations, weakness and pain and how you have found your All Sufficient One to be exactly that in everything. Our hearts ache to be active and as capable as we used to be, but we really do find God is our all in all when we fully depend and lean on Him. Gentle hugs and gratitude for sharing your story with such grace and shining faith. You’re an inspiration, my friend! xo

Dear Joy, I am so grateful for the beautiful path that you also have walked with the Lord before us all. You are so right that we find HIM as our all in all as we lean on Him. These changes in our daily living can be so constricting, and yet He meets us right there in fullness and freedom of Loving. Thank you so much for the all of the loving that you have shared, my Dear Friend! Gentle Hugs & love to you also! xo