Being in that Dark Place

When I first started writing it was because I was in a very dark place in my life and I used it as a form of escapism.

I used to think I could only write when I was depressed and unhappy. Sometimes I still think that and because I’ve been happy and ‘normal’ for so long, it was like I had writer’s block and I felt unable to be as creative as I once was.

It was a scary thing when that first happened. It was like the only thing I ever felt I as kind of good at was taken away because I was now ‘happy’. It almost made me resent that happiness. I didn’t understand how it could crush everything I ever knew in terms of writing.

But as time went on and I started to slowly get back to my writing, the creativity came back. The year I turned 25 was when I became truly happy for the first time. I met my soon-to-be husband and met his family and got to experience, for the first time in a very long time, what a family who cares about each other is like.

I didn’t try to write for at least 3 years after that.

But in the last few years I’ve started writing here and there when my husband has to go away for a long time and when my son allows me the peace and quiet to do so.

Now that I’ve edited my first story that I’m going to publish I’m a bit scared and formatting seems even scarier, but I’m not in that dark place any more. I’m not in that deep dark hole of loneliness and neglect.

Do I think my writing has suffered because of that? No, not really. Sure, the same well that I drew my inspiration from is gone, but it’s not completely gone.

I like to feel as though it’s evolved. It’s grown with me and my life.

The proof will be in the story I publish after Black & Red. It’s the first story I created, developed, and wrote since becoming ‘happy’.

Posted by Sarah Jayne

2 comments

of a talented scwreneriter Why didn’t he have the sense to go home and fill up again instead of becoming a hack on his name? That’s not an exact quote but accurate enough. Formula writing is dangerous and it is most especially harmful in romance where it becomes the standard in so manyplots. Maybe it’s the fear that they have actually lost it whatever it is maybe they got lazy and began to rely on their name or on the main characters of one series. Of course, as you say, with so much more out there waiting for you to read, you will not go hungry for new voices.