The Stroller: 'Us dummies'

Saturday

Feb 22, 2014 at 12:01 AM

Cibby Krell of Spartanburg scolds Bob Perrin of Inman for agreeing with Don Bramblett that a gasoline tax is in order. “Y’all seem to agree that ‘I never met a tax hike I don’t like,’ ” says Mr. Krell. “I consider myself to be a Southern gentleman, but I will remind you that I-85 still runs both ways if you tire of trying to impose lots more of those up-Nawth, tax-and-spend ways on us dummies down here.”

By LOU PARRISstroller@shj.com

Cibby Krell of Spartanburg scolds Bob Perrin of Inman for agreeing with Don Bramblett that a gasoline tax is in order. “Y’all seem to agree that ‘I never met a tax hike I don’t like,’ ” says Mr. Krell. “I consider myself to be a Southern gentleman, but I will remind you that I-85 still runs both ways if you tire of trying to impose lots more of those up-Nawth, tax-and-spend ways on us dummies down here.”

‘COME FORTH’: Hints of a global currency revaluation has Larry Wright of Spartanburg looking for answers. “It seems that the International Monetary Fund wants to reset the currency system of the world in order to revalue all currencies of the world to within 2 percent or 3 percent of each other. This is the strange thing about it: Our currency is not backed by any wealth, only by the citizens’ consumer confidence. Other countries are backed by silver, gold or some other wealth. So what happens to the U.S. currency?” Mr. Wright is asking. “The federal government has gotten in the habit of just printing money and going deeper in debt. The International Monetary Fund, seeing that the U.S. currency has been devalued over the years, might get the idea that the U.S. dollar might only be worth a small fraction of what it is worth on the world’s market. If anyone could shed some light on this reset, let the information come forth.”

QUIPS RICHARD GOSNELL of Spartanburg: “President Barack Obama should always end his speeches by asking, ‘Who are you going to believe? Me or that known liar, me?’ ”

OOPS!: A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner, however, he was delayed, so the priest was asked to say a few words in the meanwhile. Not being prepared to speak then, he wondered for a minute and then decided to share his experience on the first day in the parish to highlight how one should not rush to conclusions. “I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here,” he began. “I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’ wife and took illegal drugs. I was appalled. But as the days went on, I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.” Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies for being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk: “I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to confess to the priest.”

ODDS AND ENDS: Dorman High School graduating classes of 1968-1970 will gather for a joint reunion June 7, and the reunion committee is updating directories. Classmates are encouraged to send their names, addresses and phone numbers to dorman.reunion@aol.com or call Pam Painter Wolfe at 621-7613.

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