Antiques "Mogwai not for sale at any price..." The most frustrating moment in a flea market or antiques shop is find the perfect piece and finding out the owner isn't willing to accept money for it: "For lovers of modern Italian pottery, works by Guido Gambone are highly sought after. Geoffrey Hatty, of Twentieth Century Design in Prahran, wouldn't dream of parting with his Gambone vase, although the form and colours are far from mainstream. His vase, which remains on display only, features an elongated spout that shoots off to one side to form a handle. "Some people have told me it looks like a urinal that you would find in a hospital. With its rough finish, others have said their two-year-old could do better," Hatty says."

FilmGosford Park is a Robert Altman film. It says so on the poster and in the opening credits. But its more particular than that – you can tell it is all of the way through. Big well known cast (check!). Multiple almost storylines (check!). Overlapping dialogue (check!). The main plot is beside the point (check!). The premise is so simple it’s a surprise no one else has given it a try. Take all of the characters who typically appear in an Agatha Christie novel. Give them the motivations you would expect, but play them for real, whilst commenting on how artificial the divide between those upstairs and those downstairs really is. Welcome back to the kinds of films we love that you make Bob. See it now.

That said, a couple of reservations. Some of the younger actors from above stairs fail to make an impact which slightly unbalances the cast. The plot becomes slightly too linear and conventional towards the end. When sometimes don’t see the scenes we really need to or want to see (a typical Altman trick – ‘The Long Goodbye’ also succeeded in casting out anything to do with the investigation). Laura Fraser isn’t in it. ‘Captain Peacock’ from ‘Are you being Served’ isn’t in it enough. But all of this is picking nits. That this film ever got made is a joyous miracle.