tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post4022751086711837911..comments2016-11-08T08:24:28.039-08:00Comments on This Gay Relationship: Identity CrisisRick Modienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-48715690131891327962009-06-01T17:53:48.316-07:002009-06-01T17:53:48.316-07:00Jeanette, you are so filled with wisdom and common...Jeanette, you are so filled with wisdom and common sense here. I won&#39;t pretend that I haven&#39;t thought of most of this at one time or another recently. What really helps is that you&#39;ve reoriented me around the obvious and regarding what I know I need to do to keep my sanity and to move forward with who I want to be.<br />Yes, I believe deep down that I&#39;ve always wanted to be a writer--from the time I was a little boy and asked our babysitter Cheryl to help me write a short story with a Western theme; to all the writing books I&#39;ve bought since I was old enough to buy books and have kept over the years; to all the writing I did after I left my job. When I wrote continuously on my memoir over ten months, five days a week, I was truly my happiest. No pressure, just the soaring of putting thoughts and words on the page. What an incredible feeling.<br />Again, I really appreciate the time you took to talk some sense into me. I will take your advice and make it work in my current schedule. And, yes, you&#39;re right. I know for a fact Chris will support me completely.<br />Thanks again.Rick Modienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-17221410084393629732009-05-31T11:04:10.348-07:002009-05-31T11:04:10.348-07:00Been there, done that, still waging the war...but ...Been there, done that, still waging the war...but starting to win! What you&#39;re feeling is not unique to you. I&#39;m going through it, and so are my other 50yr old friends. You&#39;re at the spot in life (Male Menopause) where you can spin in circles, or you can take control. Suggestions: <br />1. Renos will end:accept and ignore the mess (neg); start seeing what&#39;s been accomplished (pos). Do this every time you start to add up things that need work. <br />2. Make a reno timeline &amp; set priorities so that you have a light at the end of the tunnel to aim for. <br />3. Priority one (unless accomplished): a spot free from chaos that you can call your own either for relaxation or writing. <br />4. Take a day for YOU. If writing is your goal, it&#39;s your job. Treat it as such or it&#39;s simply a hobby. One day a week (til the renos are done) you have to go to work. Leave the house with your laptop if you have to, but at least half of your day needs to be spent at your job. The rest can be spent doing something for &quot;you&quot; (Chris can have the other 6 days). No renos, no housework, no cooking (unless it&#39;s to make you happy). Order in, eat out, nuke a frozen meal, whatever. I&#39;m sure Chris won&#39;t mind. <br />5. You&#39;re your own worst critic. You&#39;ll never truly be a writer if everything stays in the laptop. Trust me...I&#39;m in the same boat &amp; have decided none of my stuff will every be saleable if I keep saying it isn&#39;t. Pick something, and take the leap. I&#39;ll bet Hemmingway&#39;s first offering was rough around the edges. <br />6. Set an attainable goal. Nothing inspires like a deadline, even a self imposed one. Once accomplished, set another.<br /><br />Chris believes in you. If it turns out you don&#39;t want to be a writer, maybe consider going back to school for another occupation. You&#39;re never too old. But if you do want to write, you owe Chris your best shot at it, and you never know, you just might bring in a paycheque or two at it. Don&#39;t let fear of failure get in the way....run it over with your wheelchair.Jeanettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02937915152276771653noreply@blogger.com