2013 0622 Happy Solstice!

Saturday, June 22, 2013

How many times I have been down this road is not important. Today and from now on I focus my energy on moving forward, doing the next right thing.

For months now I've been practicing NOT beating myself up for eating poison. Of course we are all familiar with the cycle, eat inappropriately, hate ourselves, scheme and plan how we are doing it different tomorrow, repeat the whole cycle tomorrow. Aaarrgggg!!

Ideally I'm not eating poison, but for a long time I wasn't ready to give it up, so I focused on a different part of the cycle, the part where I unmercifully castigate myself for eating inappropriately, and spend inordinate time soothing myself by thinking about how I'll do it differently tomorrow.

Then, I began practicing refraining from indulging in the post-eating mind play. I GAVE UP the castigation. Yes, I insisted that I STOP beating myself up about it. Additionally, I refused to let myself plan how I will do it differently.

It felt odd to do this, but isn't that the case when we are going against the grain, when we are breaking a pattern or cycle?

Finally, after several weeks of this practice, I am ready to work on the ingestion part of the cycle.

My strategies:
1. Exercise. Work out most days of the week, elliptical, strength, walk around the block, generally add more movement to my life.

2. Obsessive portion control. I purchased a scale for the kitchen and highly recommend it to everyone! I measure and/or weigh everything. It's extremely helpful to me to see the calorie counts of my foods.

3. Practice refraining from eating. My number one weak spot is in the evening. My strategy is a Supper Smoothie. Sweet potato (highly anti-inflammatory), banana, tofu, Slim-Fast Chocolate powder, almond milk (unsweetened). It's so good, and then that is it. It's just my practice. I do want to sneak back into the kitchen, for any thing to eat. But more than that, I want to be on this path!

4. Weigh myself regularly, but only for record keeping. I refrain from feeling sad if it's not what I want to see, and I refrain from feeling gleeful if I am pleased with the numbers. It's data. It's a way to measure whether I'm doing the right thing with food and exercise.

5. Live my life as if I've already lost 150#s! This is an eye-opening perspective. I am certain that if I'd already lost this weight, I would not be sitting around eating poison in private. I'd be getting on with things, maybe even having a social life and a bit of fun, ha ha!

6. Get enough sleep. This mostly means going to bed at a reasonable hour. Another practice to practice.

7. Focus on and nurture positive energies.

Goddess, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

"When life is pleasant, think of others.
When life is a burden, think of others.
If this is the only practice we can remember to do,
It will benefit us greatly,
And all others as well."
--Pema Chodron