How Will I Know When They're Ready?

Have you ever set up a friend on a blind date? You probably didn’t do it this way: “Josh, meet Sandra. Sandra is amazing. I know you’ll love her. In fact, you should just marry her tomorrow.”

Sounds crazy, right? Even if you were sure your friends were a perfect fit, you’d expect them to get to know each other before diving into a lifelong commitment. The same principle applies to introducing our friends to Jesus.

We shouldn’t expect people to be ready to commit to Jesus overnight. Any meaningful relationship takes time to develop. A relationship with Christ is no different. Most people need to move through stages or “spiritual thresholds” on their way to committing to Jesus.

Here’s the journey typical not-yet-Christians will take:

Trusts a Christian. This is where your friend gets to know you, finds out you’re believer, and learns to trust you anyway (no matter what they’ve heard about Christians).

Becomes curious. As your friendship deepens, your friend may become curious about Jesus and interested – at least on an intellectual level – in your faith.

Opens up to change. At some point, your friend will realize that something’s missing from their life and start to wonder whether that something might be Jesus.

Seeks after God. When your friend realizes a relationship with Jesus could be what they’re missing, they’ll start to seek him more intentionally – reading the Bible, asking questions, getting involved with a Christian community.

Steps into the Kingdom. This is it! This is where your friend decides to give their to Christ.*

In the past, sharing the Gospel often meant focusing on the last step – encouraging people to commit their lives to Jesus. These days, few people have even a basic grasp of Jesus’ story, so your first job is to focus on finding out where they are on the journey. Then you can ask God to use you to help them move closer to Jesus, one step at a time.

Practice applying the thresholds perspective to help someone move closer to Jesus. Come up with a list of “spiritual clues” about a friend you’d like to share Jesus with. What do you already know about your friend’s spiritual background? Can you guess which spiritual threshold your friend might be at?

The term “Spiritual Thresholds” and their labels taken from I Once Was Lost by Don Everts and Doug Schaupp. Copyright 2008 by Don Everts and Doug Schaupp. Used by permission of InterVarsity Press.

updated August 2019

*If you would like to talk with a mentor about your answers or in general, please submit your information at the end of this section.

1. Talk to someone who came to faith as an adult

Get in touch with a friend who became a Christian later in life (as a teen or adult). Ask your friend to share his or her faith story with you. Explain the five thresholds to that friend and ask whether they summarize their experience.

2. Evaluate Your Spiritual Conversations

You may be comfortable with some thresholds, but not others. I might be really great at building trust, but not be sure of where to go from there. What about you? Identify the thresholds that you find the most challenging to help people cross, and pray that God will give you opportunities to improve.

3. Practice Identifying the Thresholds

Think of one person in your life who is not a follower of Jesus. Which threshold do you think they are at on their spiritual journey? What is one thing you could do to encourage them to take the next step? Ask God for the opportunity to do that this week.

What hit home for you in this article? What's the next step you feel God is asking you to take? One of our online mentors would love to hear about it and journey with you. All fields are required unless otherwise indicated.