as you probably know, I am very pregnant. Due on Monday.
However, I'm showing no signs of going into labor any time soon. I've been trying various methods of inducing labor naturally, but nothing is working. I'm still at 1 cm, same as I was last week.
At my appointment next week, I'll be overdue and they'll be scheduling me to be induced. Which means it might be May before I have my baby.

After intercourse the woman should try to keep the semen around her cervex for as long as is comfortable. Semen contains the wonderful natural prostaglandins that help ripen the cervix.

I currently have no local access to semen. Please send me your spooge. Squirt one out into a non-spermicidal condom. Place in a zip lock bag. Send it to me. Maybe if I massage my cervex with it, we can get something going. I promise all semen sent to me will be for therapeutic use only.

I'll buy a title for the person who's semen puts me into labor. Be sure to write your UID on the bag.