Mostly shocking - but then I'm not really a Trekkie so I guess that's to be expected.

Some good aspects though - Kirk was written and cast perfectly; the bit where Spock has to tell him to get out of the captain's chair got the biggest laugh of the film, and that was just for the way he was sitting - as if his balls were too big to sit any other way. On the other hand, the villain was diabolical - and not in a good way.

Furthermore, the soundtrack was a giant cliché, the action scenes were confusingly shot and paced (although ironically, there were hardly any actually in the film), and is it too much to expect even a modern Trek film to have some sense of logic to it? Watching the film in the cinema, I suddenly realised where the Comic Book Guy gets it from: I, who might as well not have even turned up for my science GCSE exams, know that black holes do not work in the way depicted in this film. A character from the future turns up and starts filling in the lives of our characters for them - telling Spock how to rectify his situation; helping Scotty figure out his equations - that is bullshit, I don't care who says different. Why not have God come down and wipe out the Romulands, for chrissakes? Beaming is apparently so exact a science that several characters are endangered by virtue of the fact that they're moving while the beaming procedure is taking place. Why then, is warp speed treated so casually? In Star Trek you can count down in seconds the distance to your destination. Impressive, considering each second would probably be a couple of galaxies worth of space. Why do these space-ships have port-holes? They're in FUCKING SPACE. Why was the giant ice monster bright red? Do they not have evolution in deep space? And why did it throw away a perfectly decent giant beast to chase tiny James T Kirk through snow? And how is Uhura - in the 23rd century or whatever - getting away with not only wearing that dress, but carrying on with a superior officer on a military ship in time of war?

Yes, it was escapist science fiction (which I believe I covered with my final line), but that's the problem. There is logic, and there is internal logic. In the Star Trek universe, we accept faster-than-light travel and characters travelling back 40 years in time for some bullshit. However, when we are introduced to two technologies that appear to adhere to different rules of the movie's reality then that prompts questions - questions that while your mind is busy answering, are distracting you from enjoying the actual film.

Furthermore, my list of grievances against Star Trek was a point about sci-fi in general. Normal movies don't have the scope or the time to be introducing such ridiculous holes in plot or logic. They're set in reality we recognise as our own and therefore the opportunities never really present themselves (unless the maker is really inept). Science fiction on the other hand practically begs fans to pick things apart Comic Book Guy style. This movie was just the latest example of that - and that's what I was commenting on. For example, I know that on a military vessel - even a fantasy one - it's highly unlikely two senior officers would have a snog in the middle of a crisis. However, as a member of the audience I can also see that it's important that the relationship between these two characters is developed so that I like, care about what happens to them. Which is why even though I nitpick, that scene wasn't really a dealbreaker for me. And so on for the rest...

i didn't really read it, i was just being facetious... i just thought it was a fun film (and because my old flatmates used to bitch about CSI all the time, and i work in science, but was just like WHO FUCKING CARES, IT'S JUST ENTERTAINMENT SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP, but they were really annoying anyway so i think that's more pertinent).

although i did think it was really weird that uhura just started getting off with spock in the lift without any prior warning - it made me wonder if i'd fallen asleep for a bit earlier on :D