Caring Unlimited in need of help for the holidays

Thursday

If Caring Unlimited's Bonnie Gagnon has a special feeling for the battered women she works with, it may be because she's the kind of woman who has great empathy for others and is a natural healer.

If Caring Unlimited's Bonnie Gagnon has a special feeling for the battered women she works with, it may be because she's the kind of woman who has great empathy for others and is a natural healer.

And it may just be that she's walked a mile in their shoes.

"My first husband was abusive," she says. "I know what it's like to be there. Even 25 years later ...;"

As Caring Unlimited's Outreach Programming Coordinator, Gagnon hears all the stories: of women running with nothing but the clothes on their backs, of women so afraid they can't fall asleep at night.

And then there are the children.

"These children have cried a lot," she says. "They've seen a lot ...;"

That's why Gagnon does everything within her power to see that they have enough, that they feel like they're valued. That's especially important at this time of year, she says, when society might send them the wrong message.

"They hear about naughty children not getting gifts," she says. "And they might not get as much and think they're bad."

Gagnon won't let that happen, though. She works with businesses and individuals to make sure the women and their children have the things they need for the holidays.

"We tell them, safety first, just get out," she says. "So often they've been forced to leave everything behind. But material things are important to children."

First, Caring Unlimited makes sure every child has a coat, boots, hat, mittens and ski pants, she says, noting that most school districts won't allow children to play outside without them. They also get one outfit and a pair of pajamas.

"It's wishes after that," she says.

The children share theirs via letters to Santa.

"Dear Santa and Elfs," reads one. "For my Christmas wishs this year I would like a Dora play kitcin set you gave me one last year but I had to leave it at my old house when me and my Mommy moved to our new house...;. Love Hugs and Kisses, Jessica"

"Dear Santa," reads another. "This year I have been good Mommy and my sister and brother have all moved to a new house. Mommy said you will find us we hope you do...;"

Many of the children, Gagnon says, are worried that Santa won't find them — especially since they may not be able to tell people where they live, for fear an abusive parent will find them. This is especially true of the children who are staying at the organization's shelter — and especially those arriving just before Christmas.

"But we plan for those," Gagnon says. "The kids think we're elves."

Their mothers just might, too. Gagnon and her colleagues help them find apartments, support them through job searches and applaud the dreams they're pursuing. They also listen to their wishes, too.

"One woman told me, 'I just want to be able to stand at my kitchen sink and look out and not worry about someone coming at my back,'" she says. "No one deserves to be abused."

Gagnon says people who think domestic violence only happens to poor people or in poor communities should think again.

"Domestic violence is not prejudice," she says. "It's happening in our neighborhoods, in our communities, throughout York County, regardless of financial ability or educational background."

And while a small number of men are abused each year, the vast majority of people she deals with are women. And while they come in afraid for their lives, she's blessed to be able to see them change.

"They go from victim to survivor the minute they say this is not OK," she says. "I'm just in awe of the women."

Which is why Gagnon is working doubly hard this year to make sure both the women and children have everything they need, from the essentials to some nice extras to make them feel special. Still, though the economy is tough this year, she's confident that the members of the generous community will come through.

"The universe provides," she says.

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