Bitter Good Byes

Here’s a depressing fact for you: Today may be the last time you ever see someone. Think about that bitterly for a second. Whether it is someone dying, or you saw someone at a Black Friday sale for the first and last time, every single day is potentially the last day you ever see someone.

Today is the last day of class for me at my college and let’s be honest, save for one or two of those people(let’s be really honest, not even them), I will never see some of them again.

Not on Facebook.

Not when writing my terrible Book.

Not on Instagram.

Not at Thanksgiving with no ham or jam.

Not on Snapchat.

Not even when I inevitably get fat.

Not on the train.

Not on a plane.

No, not ever, not ever again.

Dr. Suess I am not. But Dr. Bitter I am. Sam I am, no I’m not. But when I get sick, I’m filled with sno…never mind. I could find anything to rhyme with not.

So how do you say good bye to someone you will never see again?

“See you later.” (I’m busy later.)

“Let’s connect on Facebook.” (I just lost my Facebook account.)

“We’ll see each other again….” , (Not really, cause I need tri-focals and I only have enough eye strain for video games.)

“We’ll get together on a project.” (The only project I will be working on is how to get a pizza and a nap later. And I don’t share either one of those.)

I’ve never been good at good byes. I’ve always been bad at bad byes though.

The awkwardness of good byes are the worst. Some people excel at them. They give emotion speeches, they hug people, they cry and leave them all wanting for more.

Not me. I usually offer an insincere, “See you later,” and then jet out of there as quickly as possible, unresolved issues hanging in the balance. The more, the better. Forget to turn in an assignments, forget to hand out my phone number, email, name, social security number, or any other way to contact me.

You’ve heard of ghosting in the dating world. You heard of the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future. You’ve heard of the Ghostbuster, Casper the Friendly one and the Ghost in the Shell. Well, you’ve never heard of me, because I have ghosted you all. In fact, you probably will never hear or see me again as soon as you read this post. Cause I am the Ghost Post with the Most, if you don’t mind a mild Boast with some Toast.

I’m terrible at goodbyes as well. They say not to burn bridges, and I usually abide by that. But I tend to slip out when no one is looking, which is almost as bad because then when I run into those people, it’s awkward. Then when you are looking for job, they say to network, but that’s hard to do when you don’t stay in touch with people. Being an introvert is tough.

Life is our true school. Every day we learn something new. And often what we learn is that the thing we learned yesterday or the day before is not actually true. And so we have to learn again. And many times the people we think we’ll never meet again, somehow come back into our lives. Like an old boss of mine who I was very happy to see leave, until he returned a year later. So no learning is certain and no goodbyes are certain. This comment is very long, because it’s hard for me to say goodbye also.

You have a future writing bitter books for children who will invariably become bitter adults. We will all say, “I knew him when….” Then thinking of all the JK Rowling money you will be making we will become bitter.

In what would have been a stroke of genius I thought you were saying goodbye to your bitterness which would make everyone perpetually bitter which would have accomplished your mission of making bitter better…and perpetual..