Posted
by
samzenpus
on Monday March 04, 2013 @04:05PM
from the better-than-a-swatch dept.

Nerval's Lobster writes "Apple's long-rumored "iWatch" could earn the company $6 billion a year, if an analyst quoted by Bloomberg proves correct. Citigroup analyst Oliver Chen estimated the global watch industry's annual revenue at $60 billion a year, with gross margins of roughly 60 percent. "This can be a $6 billion opportunity for Apple, with plenty of opportunity for upside if they create something totally new like they did with the iPod," he told the newswire, "something consumers didn't even know they needed." Meanwhile, The Verge reports that Apple has " chosen to rework the full iOS to run on the watch instead of building up the iPod nano's proprietary touch operating system," which has led to battery issues: while Apple would like the device to last "at least 4-5 days" between charges, the current prototypes give somewhat less. While an "Apple TV" long dominated the rumor mill as Apple's next big product, the frequency and detail of "iWatch" rumors over the past few weeks suggests that a timepiece could be the company's next big project."

The AppleCo iPIP (Personal Information Processor) is an electronic device manufactured by AppleCo, using ultra-modern super-deluxe resolution graphics, which coupled with its capability to store large amounts of information and transfer data to and from holodisks and from data tubes make it the obvious choice for the wandering explorer, the out-on-his-own newbie or the all-around survivalist expert.

It displays information in bright green on its black 5" x 3" screen. It can record sound and video footage for later playback. It uses a simple but elegant form of sonar and satellite tracking (where service is available) to map out areas where its user travels. Though input is slow, a user can also hand-enter and edit text messages on their iPip

The AppleCo iPIP also has a built-in radio and Geiger Counter, a built-in health monitor, motion sensor, and a unique program creating and editing tool, a light that illuminates the area around the user, (allowing them to see better in the dark), and also features a biometric lock that can only be opened by either the user or a skilled technician.

Coming soon!
The AppleCo iPIP-Pad is an experimental tablet-sized version of the AppleCo iPIP series.

"Do"? What do you mean, what does it "do"? It's a device. By APPLE. What it DOES is exist and bring Apple $6B a year*. So get in line. NOW. You wouldn't want to be laughed at like all those Android schmucks were when that crappy G1 was released, right? They'll NEVER live down the shame of getting an Android phone, not even in four years! Man, they're so behind the times.

*: Figures promised by right of Analyst Predictuarantee, which differs from pulling numbers out of their asses by the fact that Predictuarantees are legally binding; therefore, any disadvantageous difference in this value and reality is a felony and customers WILL be arrested and brought to trial until the situation is corrected.