Steve Hirsch finally called out Farrah Abraham

Steve Hirsch finally called out Farrah Abraham

Steve Hirsch finally called out Farrah Abraham

February 20, 2014JEREMY FEIST

Before releasing her porno (not a sex tape, a porno) Farrah Abraham was looking down the barrel of obscurity, since her only notable career achievements were “having a kid when she was a teenager” and “ruining her kid”. But then Steve Hirsch gave her a chance to make some honest money by shooting a porn with Vivid Video, even booking James Deen for her! Naturally, she thanked him by crapping all over him and James. Thankfully, Steve finally had enough of her crap, so he offered her a million bucks to take a polygraph test, and SURPRISE! She refused. FishWrapper reports …

The latest, though, about being raped and drugged while on tour for her second — yes, second — sex tape has taken the cake. For once, Farrah has kept her big mouth shut about her intentions, and when approached by Steve Hirsch — Vivid’s head honcho — who offered her $1 million dollars to take a polygraph test that produced positive results that she was, in fact, raped and pillaged and drugged whilst on tour, her lawyer had this to say: “At this point in time my client has no comment to the offer made by Vivid. That is all the information I can provide you at this time.”

Steve, of course, responded to Farrah’s ridiculousness and responded: “This is exactly what I expected from Farrah. She’s a fraud. We know she loves money, but once she gets called out she’s afraid to respond. First you can’t stop the lies and then you can’t find her. She’s incapable of telling the truth.”

Good lord, Steve must have the patience of a saint. For him to put up with her for this long must have taken incredible willpower, but it was all worth it for this moment. Because here’s the thing: The only thing Farrah loves more than lying is money. Offering her a million bucks to tell the truth is the most genius way ever to make her robot brain explode. “A million dollars? MINE MINE MI- wait, I have to tell the truth for it? But truth … truth … ERROR. ERROR. THE TRUTH IS I’M A SOCIOPATHIC NARCISSIST AND I DON’T DESERVE THIS MONEY OR THE SECOND CHANCES VIVID GAVE ME-” *Head blows up*

Related

JEREMY FEIST

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.