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The Plan

I need to start planning my life because it just does not happen and monnies are getting tight. I normally do a lot of planning and I get into a mode where I plan the whole world. It gives me endless possibilities, the sky is the limit. And I never follow up. This is the part for me where the going gets tough. Easy peasy to not drink when not doing stuff. Let’s see how I do while having A Plan. The Plan.

I need to learn to plan and work to plan otherwise I will reincarnate as, I don’t know, somebody that has no control over his/her life (very much like me actually). Ieeeeehks. Better fix it now. And I need the plan to working otherwise I might get demotivated, and I have no skills in the area of being demotivated. So might as well take care I do not go there.

I have a set of unproductive concepts in my mind. Neither of these is true but they shape my thoughts, intentions and actions:

– I can do anything.

– I am better than anybody at anything – if I set my mind to it.

– If I can’t do it immediately I am sure I can not do it at all.

– I have no skills in the area of being demotivated.

– I have never worked for something.

– Perfection is for the people, I can do better than perfection.

– I can’t do anything.

– I have no right to live or be happy.

– I have a tendency to always do exactly what I should NOT be doing. Like writing down exactly how I will corrupt The Plan with the above concepts.

LEARN

1 Plan realistically. Follow gut feeling. Plan less in stead of more, do not push it.

2 Do stuff, see what happens and try to see how the above concepts hinder me.

3 Set the alarm every 15 minutes to check state of mind, relax, watch out for demotivation and lack of happiness and see if I actually follow up on the plan. I am guessing this takes other skill than my organically grown laissez faire approach.

4 Have a non-drinking back-up plan because everybody seems to have one and it probably makes my GP3 happy. I would not want her to think that she’s my only back-up. That is not a good thing, it does not stimulate a good relation. I have put the AA hotline in all my phones. I guess GP3 and my therapist would like to see a better backup plan. I don’t feel like a bigger backup plan yet. I am not AA ready yet.

GOAL

The goal is a healthy mind, spirit and body. I would like to live responsibly, carry my own weight, add to the world, following my path, whatever that is. For now it is making A Plan. And all of this is obviously without alcohol or sugar.

In the plan I do not put everything (NEW) but just put what bugs me most and is in the way of my GOAL. In the plan are: BODY, MIND AND BOOKS TO READ, SPIRIT, DAILY LIFE, RELAXING, THE PLAN itself. Things listed are sort of ‘in order of relevance’, but not always.

BODY

I want to get the nutrients in to repair the damage done and also to kill the urges and cravings upfront to ensure sobriety. Also I need to restore my memory and my ability to focus. Deal with the nutrient side of depression, paranoia and axiety. I can not do a job with the brain I have now. And… my scalloped tongue seems to mean that I can not take in nutrients, that is dangerous.

1 Keeping clean, nutrients approach, make summery of book – speak with GP on tongue as well,

3 Loose weight: no losing weight on purpose. Just eat healthy. Make stuff myself, low on the E-numbers, high on vegetables, NO sugar. NO hunger. 1 Meal at the table, no books, no computer, no television. Adjust below times in weeks to come to earlier. I need to eat often to keep my blood sugar level even.

9:00 Vegetable juice for breakfast

11:00 Brunch

15:30 Lunch

19:00 Dinner

21:00 Nuts, boiled egg or cheese

4 See GP every 2-3 weeks.

5 Run 2 times a week; 1 one Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday and once in the weekend.

6 Plan walks and bicycle rides with friends in the newly discovered wood.

7 Work with friend nutritionist on changing ‘Seven Weeks to sobriety’ into a diet for me.

8 Solve high blood pressure, get rid of blood pressure pills.

ON MIND / BOOKS TO READ

1 Be happy and proud.

2 Make an extract from ‘Seven weeks to sobriety’ for GP3

3 Do online Alcohol Top training every 2-3 days.

4 Set alarm clock every 15 minutes to check how the current activity fit into The Plan.

5 Google stuff I don’t know about like the ‘I can do anything syndrome’

6 Read ‘Get sober, stay sober’

7 Read AA book

8 Purchase and read ‘Addictive thinking’

9 Keep reading blogs you don’t like. Try to work out what your aversion is and if and how it links back to the AA book and the addictive thinking book.

10 Go to an AA meeting within 4 weeks from tomorrow. Call first to learn about different groups. Choose 3 groups.

SPIRIT

Dunno. Meditate? Read blogs? See therapist? Write blog?

1 Read dream, healing and Sjaman books

2 Connect with people. Hi!!!! Here you are! Between the books and the headbord (?) Pay special attention to starting a conversation.

3 Connect with nature.

4 Make headboard to bed so I can sit up and write dreams without getting out of bed.

5 Watch Gabor Maté on YouTube.

ON DAILY LIFE

1 Get into a cleaning mode, clean 15 minutes a day in one run, standard cooking cleaning is not included.

3 On using your money skills: pick up training for new drawing programm. Make appointment for within 2 weeks with other students.

ON RELAXING

Relax when things do not go according to plan. Relax, breathe, drink water. In order to relax more I should: slow down, take more time to think during a day, think of spiritual things and personal learning, burning candles or incense works very well for me to realise that I should take it easy. Nature relaxes me. Reminding myself that I need to relax relaxes me. However, I do not realise that I get up-tight because I have not had more than 3 minutes of relaxation a month in the last years. Only now I stopped drinking I can relax just a little. Relaxing is a big issue. How do people do that? Running relaxes me. Yoga relaxes me. And I don’t do them. Hmmm….

I am guessing I will not be relaxed until I have a outlook at income again. But just that thought. There is a little place in my head that can think about work but I worry about my memory. The work that I am closest to requires a shitload of brainpower and precision. It is just not there. I think I read a book with attention and the next day I can read it again and it is all new. I think this because I have too little mental exercise but I know me, with this brain I can not even write an application letter, let alone do a job interview.

1 Drink vegetable juice in the sun on the balcony every morning

2 Set an alarm every half an hour and note how I feel right then. Try to relax when not relaxed.

3 Burn candles and incence 😀

4: 15 minutes Yoga in the afternoon every day, look to add more time

5: 1 Outing into nature every 2 weeks

6: Have 1 sauna outing at least every 3 weeks.

7: See therapist once every 2-3 weeks.

8: Plan walking and biking holiday with friends

9: Running.

10 Try 1 different recipe a week.

11 Plan bordgame evenings again, within now and 4 weeks.

12: Continue bio-snack outing, once every 2 week

13: Organise money stuff. 30 Minutes a week on Thursdays.

14: Find a job.

ON THE PLAN

Spend 5 minutes per day on the plan. Keep in mind either build, maintain or getting rid of stuff. Start to add timelines if this does not work. Report every day.

3 thoughts on “The Plan”

Wow, when you said you are busy, you weren’t kidding! When I read this list, I worry about you getting overwhelmed by it. From my experiences trying to get sober (and my success for 3 years when I was in my early 20s), I think one of the most helpful and important things for people (including me) seems to be taking it easy and being kind to yourself. You’ve got a little over 6 weeks of sobriety – congratulations! You are obviously doing a whole lot of things right. 🙂

I love to make lists too, but the demotivation you talked about can happen very easily if I plan too much, or think I have to do everything at once, or start beating myself up for not doing everything on my list. I think it’s really great to have a plan…just be careful of how you are mentally treating yourself, especially in the beginning. Give yourself permission to adjust a plan like this…and build in moments to love and congratulate yourself for ANYTHING on that list you’ve been able to accomplish. We alcoholics are really good at depriving ourselves of self-love, and beating ourselves up for almost any excuse.

This later in life attempt at sobriety is very different for me…I’m a lot older and I’m a mama now, and I recognize that one of the most important things for me is to be gentle with myself, love myself and accept where I am today. That’s what I wish for you!

Thank you Rivieradinah :-).
I don’t have to do everything in the plan at once. There are only 45 minutes a day that are assigned to tasks and another say 3 hours per week that are things I don’t naturally feel like doing. So… I was goind to say that this is ‘ok’ but I don’t know yet. Or maybe I do. I have not all done them yet :-).
I notice that I am getting to the ‘beating ourselves up for almost any excuse’. And for the first time in about 7 weeks I had a bad night with sleeping. (not counting the ‘carrot cake incident’).
I’m going to see what happens, how I respond to doing or not doing 15 minutes of deep uncluttering of the house. As I suspected for me: not drinking is not the issue, living while not drinking is the issue.
But I have this opportunity now in my life that I can, and actually do take time to see how this goes and to try and steer my responses and adjust my thinking, intentions and actions. I thought that’s cool! 🙂 We shall see :-).
Thank you for your wishes, love to stay in touch, hugs. xx F