Tuesday, June 26, 2012

To Sleep? Or Not to Sleep?

I have had problems with sleeping for years. I can not pinpoint when these nights of sleeplessness began. I'll guess during my senior year of high school.
I remember having problems sleeping during the first time I moved to San Diego. There was one night I stayed up all night and watched a whole season of Gilmore Girls. The tellie on was not a distraction. I know I would have been awake anyways, despite it being on.
I know what it feels like to be tired, sleepy and exhausted. I've never been a picky person when it comes to where I sleep or the quality of the surface where I rest. My junior year of high school, I took a nap in the orchestra pit of New Albany High School in New Albany, Indiana. There are just times in my life when I'll go through my bed time ritual of washing my face, brushing my teeth, changing my clothes, and when I get to bed, I lay there. For hours and hours and hours. Tossing and turning. Never getting comfortable. What really bothers me is that I'm tired and sleepy during these episodes of sleeplessness.
Tonight is no exception. I've been in bed for five hours, very tired and I'm not sleeping. I hoped writing from my iPhone would lull me toward rest. No luck. I've had these nights of restlessness for over a week now. I'm not too hot, or cold. I'm not hungry, nor full. I'm horribly tired, but can not find relief.
I've been using this time to listen to music, and pray. Funny thing is I don't pray for sleep or relief. I'll talk to God about anything and everything except what I need at that time.
I wonder if that means anything, or if I'm just too tired to think straight.