'From Granny Panties to Thongs' — it's never too late for love

June 13, 2013|By Attiyya Anthony, Sun Sentinel

Never mind if your panties look like pillowcases, there is still life left to live and love left to give.

On Thursday, a group of 80 silver-haired single ladies met at the Boynton Beach Senior Center for a book-signing and meet-and-greet with Penny Burke and Joanie Pearlstein, the authors of "From Granny Panties to Thongs."

Burke and Pearlstein read excerpts of their self-help book dedicated to encouraging widowed women over the age of 50 to stop grieving and start living.

"In an ideal world, women should be married twice," Burke said. "The first time he needs to be reliable, he needs to be a good husband, he needs to take care of the kids. But the second time around she can marry for her."

Burke's mom, Sheila Preefer, 78, was the inspiration for the book.

Preefer was married to Burke's father for 40 years, before he died unexpectedly of a heart attack while on vacation.

A few years later, while doing her mother's laundry, Burke found a red thong — a gift from her mother's boyfriend.

"She had her smile back," Burke said.

Now Preefer is married to Mel, the man who bought her the risque undergarments, and they've spent 11 years together traveling the world.

"We've been to Africa, Israel, Europe, Thailand. We don't get a tour guide, we just explore ourselves," she said. "I feel lucky. He's not a lot like my last husband, but there's only one of everybody."

Pearlstein said that pressure from family and friends makes it hard for widows to get back into the dating scene.

"If you've been in a lovely marriage for 20 to 50 years and you start dating again, it somehow discredits that past relationship to the public," she said.

Like most women, Pearlstein's mother Betty, 80, had the first date jitters. The only difference was that this was her first date after her husband of 59 years passed away.

"I lost a few pounds, I bought a new outfit, I felt like a teenager — a nervous wreck," she said. "But it ended up being fun. We sat at lunch for three hours."

Cindy Feltzin, 65, is legally blind, but she read the large-print book in two hours. And while timid about dating, she said she is open to new experiences.

But not all of them.

At the event, Bernice Rosenberg tried to hook up Feltzin with an 80-year-old man she met on a Jewish dating website, but Feltzin cringed at the age difference.

Rosenberg, who is in her 70s, is known as "Bonnie Honey" on JDate.com. She said she's looking for good company and has been on tons of dates lately trying to find that spark.

"Sometimes you go out with them and they're cheap or they're snobs. Life schools you — when you're older, you realize that those nerdy guys you ignored in the past are the ones you want."