Drowning Mona
(2000)

DROWNING MONA is a strained, sluggish, oxygen-starved black comedy
about a white trash terror (Bette Midler) whose yellow Yugo takes a
fatal plunge in the very first scene. Turns out the Divine Miss M.
is (a.) the town shrew and (b.) is universally despised by both her
family and her fellow residents of Verplanck, NY. (A town where
*everyone* drives a Yugo and which is about the only *dependable*
gag in the entire film...) And, once it's learned that the brake
lines were cut, nearly everyone becomes a suspect. Wackiness en-
sues. Danny DeVito heads the quirky ensemble cast, as the amiable,
ambling police chief and the only person in human history who can
make a Yugo look like a luxury car. Other actors include Neve
Campbell with a honking accent, Jamie Lee Curtis wearing waitress
garb, and a cameo by "Saturday Night Live's" Will Farrell as a
spacey funeral director with the Comb-Over From Hell. The running
time is 96 minutes; the laughs total about 30. You do the math.
With Marcus Thomas, Ben Affleck's deer-in-the-headlights-looking
brother Casey, and William Fitchner, who should be a shoo-in to win
next year's new Oscar category, Best Hooter Fondling by an Actor in
a Supporting Role. (Rated "PG-13"/96 min.)
Grade: C-
Copyright 2000 Michael J. Legeros
Movie Hell is a trademark of Michael J. Legeros