20 Reasons You Should Never Visit Johannesburg

1. Some people seem to believe that Johannesburg is a beautiful place.

Delta Park via.

2. They make ridiculous claims about it being the largest man-made forest in the world.

The Four Seasons via

3. But this makes no sense.

Jacarandas via

4. Because in reality the place is a practically a desert.

The Vaal River via

5. Nothing exciting ever happens there.

Electric Storm via Alexius van der Westhuizen

6. There is literally nowhere to watch sport.

The FNB Stadium via

7. And don’t bother trying to find anywhere to play sport.

Johannesburg Country Club via

8. You’ll probably starve to death because there’s nowhere nice to eat.

Roots at Forum Homini via

9. And the hotels are really run-down.

The Saxon via

10. The architecture is totes unoriginal.

Mill Junction via

11. I mean…

Maropeng via

12. There is absolutely nowhere to shop.

Neighbourgoods Market via

13. And the bars are super sh*t.

Flame at the Four Seasons via

14. The people of Johannesburg have absolutely no fashion sense.

The Boys of I See a Different You via

15. Art and culture? LOL.

Street Art via

16. The weekends are soooooooo boring.

Hot Air Ballooning via

16. And there is no public transport.

Gautrain via

17. Things are so hectic all the time.

Emmarentia Dam via

18. You call that sculpture, Johannesburg?

Nirox Sculpture Fair via

19. You make my eyes hurt.

Walter Sisulu Botanical Gardens via

20. Seriously though. Why would anyone want to visit Johannesburg?

Johannesburg Skyline via

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Brandslut’s Disclaimer: post concept borrowed from this post on BuzzFeed.

This post originally appeared on Brandslut, and is republished here with kind permission of Misha. Thank you!

About Brandslut: “My name is Misha and this is the blog I write; Brandslut. I started it in 2010. I was looking for a place to put my brand/product/consumer thoughts and here we are, four radical years later. Yes, I have a day job, and no, blogging doesn’t really pay. From 8 to 5 I’m a Digital Marketing Manager and manage one of South Africa’s premiere specialist bank brands. I love what I do. And I also love gin and running; preferably not together. I’ve been fortunate to have lived on four continents and now call Johannesburg home. I’m the mother of a Russian Blue cat called Falafels. She’s awesome. Travel is my ultimate indulgence and I aim to do lots more of it – both locally and abroad. You’ll see more travel writing on the blog as I weave the brand stories of places into it.” Visit www.brandslut.co.za