Why is Female Sexuality so Scary

The myth of Medusa, a beautiful woman who can’t be looked at lest you turn to stone. Eve. Mermaids. For centuries men have been spinning tales featuring beautiful, fertile women as monsters out to destroy them. Given this underlying rhetoric it is unsurprising that for a long time, women have been used as tools of pleasure instead of having their needs carefully met as equals.

We need to take back our sexuality!

If you believe the time of concubines and brothels is over, and that we have regained our sexual significance outside of the male gaze, I would regret to inform you that is not the case. The majority of the marketing presented to you- even things that are meant for you to buy, are done in a way that will make it desirable to men. Take Victoria’s Secret commercials as an example, who do you think enjoys those more?

It is all about control.

This slow, systematic brainwashing is spoon fed to us in order to control us. To make us feel simultaneously that we are sex machines, yet never sexy. This process begins when we are in school. We are told a rhetoric about “nice” girls who don’t drink or swear or have sex. We are told promiscuity is something damnable, untrustworthy and dirty. In school, we aren’t taught about our bodies in a way that’s practical or that makes sense, just in the pretense of how to successfully conceive. All due to the patriarchy running merrily behind the scenes, controlling the knowledge that is presented to us and perpetuating a “boys will be boys” mentality of fear, embarrassment, and inadequacy. Perhaps this is why the majority of men believe the G-spot doesn’t exist?

Female sexuality is real and should not be feared.

By ditching this false narrative and reclaiming our needs we bring forward the discussion of female pleasure, and with it regain our sensuality. Thusly taking back our right to explore our needs and desires the same way as our male counterparts. As you accept and begin reclaiming your sexual prowess you regain a part of yourself that has been stripped from you. Once you recognize that you deserve the same amount of pleasure as your partner (and stop accepting “I’m tired” as an excuse for your partner to duck out of giving you the big “O” too.) you open up a conversation of exploration versus exploitation.

In short, you are a sexy, awesome badass.

Don’t let a long antiquated mindset define the way you feel about your body. Take control, have tough conversations about what you want and need- and don’t accept anything less that orgasm equality.