G.I. Joe: Retaliation

After being sent to retrieve some nuclear warheads, the Joes, including Duke (Channing Tatum), Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson), Flint (D.J. Cotrona) and Jaye (Adrianne Palicki), realize they have been set up by the very people who rely on them. Most of the force is taken out in an ambush, leaving only a handful of the elite team. (So as to not give anything away, I’m refraining from getting into too much detail here. My apologies.)

Cobra Commander (Luke Bracey) and Destro are being held in an impenetrable underground prison. Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) and Firefly (Ray Stevenson) execute their plan to break them out. What good would a G.I. Joe movie be without Cobra Commander?

Zartan (Arnold Vosloo), the master of disguises, has already positioned himself in a place of power to help Cobra Commander’s never-ending quest for world domination. He holds all the world’s leaders hostage in a game of chess, of sorts.

Can the Joes, who are now outlaws, clear their names and save the world from the evil clutches of Cobra? With the help of Joe founder General Joe Colton (Bruce Willis), they just may have a shot.

My first reaction at the beginning of the movie, as they are listing the roster of enemies was, “Zartan! Ha!” Zartan had to be one of my favorite action figures as a kid. Not only did he come with a mask to change his face, he turned blue, BLUE! when you put him in direct sunlight! I mean, how awesome is that? In the last 30 years, Zartan’s disguises have gone a little more high-tech, now using nanotechnology to help him conceal his true identity.

This is exactly what G.I. Joe: Retaliation is meant to be. It’s a little bit action and a whole lot of nostalgia. I have to say that I am most definitely the exact demographic writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick and director John Chu were targeting with this film: Kids who grew up in the 80s, playing with G.I. Joe action figures in their heyday.

It’s a G.I. Joe film. So don’t expect any Oscar-worthy stuff here. What you should expect is passable dialogue and acting along with 2 hours of, “I had that! I remember him!” The action is decent enough. About what you would expect from this type of movie. Thanks to Channing Tatum and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, you’ll even be able to convince your wife to tag along.

I saw the film in 3D, but there is nothing ground-breaking here, and I don’t remember it adding much to the experience. I think you would do just as well to save the extra money and see it in good, old-fashioned 2D. You’ll be too distracted watching your childhood play out on the screen to even remember whether you saw it in 3D.

It’s a fun film, if you grew up like I did. It isn’t like so many films these days which take something from your childhood and turn it into something unrecognizable. (I’m looking at you, “Ninja Turtles.”) Just sit back and enjoy it for what it is.