Friday, September 1, 2017

Within every last one of us, there is an inner 3 year old, proclaiming
at the top of our lungs: “NOW!!! I want it NOW!!!” Doesn’t matter if it’s
weight loss, improvement at the gym, a promotion, a raise, a new job, success
with a project, or just getting your child to clean up their room, the primal
cry is “I want it now!”

Only life doesn’t work that way. Chances are you’ve had to
wait, be patient. Or take a step back, re-consider, re-vamp, take a different
approach. And often it may seem like you’ve had to give up your hopes and
dreams, because how long can someone wait?

But what if it wasn’t about waiting? What if is was more
about trusting that if you’re doing the best you know how towards your goal,
that somehow, some way, it will come through? And that maybe, you have some other
desire that is interfering with your dream coming true right now?

I met with a very dear friend recently that I had not seen
in decades; we live on opposite ends of the US. I’d known him as a young actor
in Los Angeles. His acting career didn’t take off as he’d hoped, despite good
reviews, so he went on to do other things – including move across the country.
But his passion never waned. He used his acting talents to record books on
tape, kept his craft up in other ways, and much to his surprise, now as he
turns 50, he’s landed an agent and is consistently getting good parts in movies
and TV.

I asked him about what he thought happened--apart from his
never letting the dream die within himself--to bring about the change. He said,
“You know, I’ve thought about it a lot, and I realize that hearth and home were
more important to me than advancing my career. Whenever I’d see an audition
call for a part that would take me away from home for more than a couple of
days, I wouldn’t go for the audition. Which means that unlike my peers, who
were getting parts in touring companies, amping their resumes, I was sticking
close to my friends and family. Thus, a weak resume. But I didn’t think about
it that way.”

Friends and family are still important to him, but he’s
realized he doesn’t need to be with them all the time. He is free (within
himself) to accept the roles that come along. My friend’s talent and true love
of acting were never in doubt. I was so very happy for him that he could
finally let them come through and enjoy the success he so very much deserves.

You may want to lose weight, but you don’t want to say “No”
to dinner with friends. You may want to get to the gym, but you don’t want to
be late to work. You may want a promotion, but you may not be willing to give up
your family time to acquire the new skills you’d need. And you may really want
your child to clean up their room, but you are reluctant to take the time for
that conversation you fear may go nowhere.

Sometimes it’s not about waiting. It’s about sorting out
“What do I really want, right now?” that stands in the way. Once you sort it
out, you will still need to work towards your greater goal, but at least you
won’t be stumbling over your own conflicting desires on your way to getting
there.

About Me

I'm a psychologist, consultant and speaker who has authored over a dozen books, all of which focus on empowering individuals to be happier, healthier and more successful at work, at home and in relationships. The power of appreciation is the theme that runs through all my books, the latest being "Happy Healthy...Dead: Happy Healthy…Dead: Why What You Think You Know About Aging Is Wrong and How To Get It Right.” If you'd like to know more, please visit www.noellenelson.com!
Thank you.