To Fuck or Not Fuck the Ageist Bullshit?

1st- Do you have any secrets for keeping your body in the amazing shape that it’s in??

2nd- So I just turned 30 (and I know I still look just as good or better than I did at 23!) but when customers ask, what’s your feelings on telling them? Forever 21? OR Fuck the ageist BS and tell them that I’m *shock, horror* not in my 20’s?Sometimes I feel the “wow really?” comments can bring me down, even though I’m confident due to being a health/self care freak.It’s a constant battle fighting the ageism ingrained in me. 

— Xo, 30, Flirty and Thriving

Photo: Rachel Lena Esterline, The Slut Shaman

FLIRTY AND THRIVING!

Oooo you sure know what to say to make a girl smile... and we all know flattery will get you everywhere.

Honestly my only "secret" is to be kind to yourself and regularly indulge in things that really bring you pleasure.

For example. I've developed a passion for making ice cream and therefore eat A LOT of it. Which I know seems counter intuitive to the typical eat clean/regularly work out rhetoric, which I generally do follow...

But I've realized that I personally feel, and in turn look my best, when I do what the fuck I want.

And by not denying myself this pleasure I never really think twice about keeping up with the gym or otherwise eating clean because it doesn't feel militantly restrictive.

If that makes any sense?!

But enough about me!

WELCOME TO YOUR 30'S!

Along with looking "just as good or BETTER,"

I'm willing to bet your sense of self, hustle and orgasms are way more on point then they ever were at 23.

Can I get an AMEN for all that life experience sculpting you into a confident, self actualized mother-fucking boss!

Snaps fingers, tosses hair.

Though Goddess knows, for all the bullshit we've had to unlearn in order to hone our power as multi-dimensional sexual beings...

And then to, as a sex worker, wield this power as a tool in commodifying ourselves to sell fantasies-

Fantasies that are usually derived from very one-dimensional feminine archetypes

Geeze that makes my head throb...

It can sometimes feel impossible to disassociate ourselves from the ageism (amongst other things) ingrained in us.

So is the paradox of earning a living selling trite fantasies when one is a card carrying member of the new-wave feminist movement (and will sass the fuck out of anyone who ever adds a "for your age" at the end of any compliment.)

Sighhhh.

On one hand,

We're proud as fuck of who we are and want to righteously rep diversity which helps shatter the narrow notion that only certain women should be lusted after. Right?!

But on the other hand,

These narrow notions are so deeply embedded in male culture that realistically it's going to take a collective effort from WAY MORE than some radical, bomb-ass Strippers telling patrons their age, to change this.

That, and we gotta eat.

Now some of y'all will disagree with me and I'm never mad at that.

But when it comes to hustling effectively aka maximizing our earning potential,

I am of the school of thought that we are sales-women in a service industry and therefore prioritizing our clients needs (so long as it's within our personal boundaries) in spite of politics (again, so long as it's within our personal boundaries) is essential to getting paid.

Therefore:

If a potential "Wow, really?" is going to kill your vibe tell them what you intuitively feel they want to hear and MAKE YOUR MONEY.

Then work out all of your celebratory activism via IRL and/or URL when you're off duty.

Heyyyyyy....

Carrie Fisher famously said,

"Men don't age better than women, they're just allowed to age."

And I do believe the more righteous Queens like yourself continue to proudly assert themselves and celebrate their diversity as multi-dimensional sexual beings, the more it contributes to dismantling the shitty stigmas and basic stereotypes that keep us from being allowed to age.