my vicodin addiction, withdrawal, and recovery

Hi,

I started taking vicodin about 4 years ago.. I started to take it on the weekends... about 2 10/660 mg on friday and saturday nights. I was in grad school at the time and these pills where my escape on weekends... I really dont like to go out and drink and party.. more of a chill kind of guy so they were perfect... take it at 8 pm on a friday night, put some music on and kick back read a book... i fell in love.

I had always been paranoid about wking up one day and realizing that I needed a pill to feel noirmal... this anxiety kept me from saving the pills for the weekend. In total for the first 2 years I was taking around 4 pills a week (2 fri and 2 sat)... Then I started to take them 3 times a week etc till I was taking them everyday... 2 at night (20 mg/day).... This lasted for about another year (so far 3 years into it)...

There were times when I would run out and I would have some minor withdrawals for a day or two (runny nose and overall tiredness, diarrhea) but the worst side effect was that I became withdrawn... the pills had turned me into someone Im not... I was always irratated... snapping at friends and family... This was a constant reminder of what the pills were doing to me....

this past year I started to exercise daily... ive always been a fairly active person... the pills had turned my life into the only way that I can describe it is by the color grey.... i wasnt depressed i was just neutral... I wasnt excited about life anymore... I needed something... i love to run and surf... so i started to run and surf everyday while cut my dosage in half ... i would run 5 sometimes 6 miles a day and end the day with a long surf... It was hard to get the energy but i relied on energy drinks... this kept my spirits up but for months i was still not myself... i dunno something about running then jumping in the water and watching the sunset out there on your board alone.... so i just stopped after that last year (i was taking about 10-12.5 mg/day which isnt much at all.. thats 1 1/4 pill)...

I ran out in the begging of oct this year and went two months without them... then in dec i got another 30 and finished them in a month.... i was just over it after dec because when i got that 30 pills i made a promise to myself that they would last me at least 2 months and they lasted me 1... i just didnt have the willpower to keep them around without taking one at night.... so this janurary i stopped and havent taken since...

Its weird... I never had anything like some of the withdrawals like i read on here from other peoples xperience and I prey for those peple because that must be the hardest thing to ever go thru.... but I realized that even though i didnt have the hard withdrawals, those pills changed the chemistry in my brain... im not the same person i was 6 years ago... i had lost that spirit in me but i fel like its slowly coming back.... i still surf and on those days when i see those sunsets and i look around and just take a deep breath and thank the universe for that very moment... i dunno, im sorry this is my first ever post and ive never told anyone this hidden secret... feels good to get it out...

for everyone on here trying to get thru ur own hell, hang in there.. i know its easier said than done... i wish u the best and i hope that u too can overcome ur addiction.. this song and video has helped me remember life... i hope it does the same for you

What's up man, don't worry your brain will return to normal again. Surfing and running is probably some of the best things that you can do for yourself. Yes opiates do change brain chemistry, but you literally are more lucky than you realise with not getting into taking your prescription more than you could have. I always envied people like you that could do that. The fact that you quit on your own is also kind of cool.

I don't necissarily know if you are an addict. I do know that if you stay away from the Vicodin, the wanting to do them will start to fade. A big part of me not wanting to do drugs anymore is training my brain to do other things to take my mind off of using. (ie. surfing, running, reading, new girlfriend, etc) There are a lot of things to take your mind off of wanting to use.