Trying not to Attach

I was just reading a great post by my friend and fellow birthmom Leigh. In her post, she talks about birthmoms attaching or not attaching with their babies while pregnant. In a nut shell, she said that she tried not to attach, but she did, because it was almost impossible for her not to.

I did the same thing. As soon as I chose Charlie’s adoptive parents, I began calling Charlie (while still in my belly) A and S’s baby. I thought if I looked at it that way, I wouldn’t attach. In theory it sounded like a great idea – in reality it didn’t work.
I’ve since experienced a lot more life and have come to the conclusion that not attaching is just impossible. Furthermore, those babies attach to us regardless…….

When I was pregnant with Noah, I sang a lot to my belly. I love show tunes and my very fave show tune to sing is – DON’T LAUGH – Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy. I must have sang that to Noah a zillion times.

Even though I was trying not to attach to Charlie, I sang that song. I guess I didn’t really think about what I was doing (attaching) by singing to Charlie because that’s what I did with Noah so it felt natural to sing to my belly a second time around.

To this day, when either of them hears that song, they go nuts! They get excited and dance, bop, and jive around. Do you think they remember it from hearing it in the womb and it just triggers something in their little brains? I DO!