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What I Wore to Ascot

My trusty Macbook, which is like 100 million years old, is finally on the way out and it no longer allows me to load photos (or to run two programs at the same time, play DVDs/CDs, or operate whilst being unplugged- basically me and the spinning rainbow wheel are BFF), so I have been waiting ALL DAMN DAY for David to get off our iMac so I could post this. Sharing a computer is sooooo 1998 and really isn’t conducive to a healthy marriage. “Are you done yet?” has become the phrase of the day and it’s making me crazy.

ONWARDS! There have been some inquires from friends (and from my mother, HI MOM!) about the outfit I wore to Ascot last weekend. I didn’t get many pictures of myself at the event because I was too busy hogging the camera and taking pictures of horsies, so you’ll have to settle for a post-Ascot outfit post. Because it is winter outside (again!) and because I cannot will myself to do that fashion blogger thing where I get all dressed up to distractedly pose in front of some greenery or in an abandoned alley (no disrespect, super-stylers!), these photos will have to do.

Okay, my outfit! After some v. laborious Google image research in which I learned that the average female Ascot-goer dresses a) like they’re going to a wedding, b) like a grandmother, or c) like a tacky tart, I made the informed decision to stay as far away from these categories as humanly possible. Initially I thought I’d buy a vintage pant-suit, but I had (notice the past tense) a Harrod’s gift card that was calling my name and I ended up falling in love with this feathery, flapper-style Michael Kors (aka Queen Tangerine) number instead.

Next step: the hat! Fascinators were banned from the Royal Enclosure at Ascot this year, so I felt that my initial idea of a flapper-style headwrap would be a little too risky, not to mention a little too on-point… I didn’t want to look like I was wearing a costume, after all! In my head I was envisioning something a la Julie AndrewsinThoroughly Modern Milly and after many exhausting searches, I finally found a hat that was the right shape, but the wrong color. It was on sale and I was tired, so I bought the hat and a can of black spray paint and came home.

The next day, I tore off the ugly bow and spray painted my blue hat black. Later that evening (this is the night before Ascot,mind you…) I sewed decorative beads and feathers to the back for a little bit of a wow-factor. Sewing things onto a straw hat is gory, people! My fingers still haven’t forgiven me.

Morning of, I put on my dress and painted all twenty of my nails in my favorite simple, clean polish, OPI‘s Bubble Bath (this was a total repeat from my wedding when I painted my nails 20 minutes before the ceremony… when will I learn?!). I used MAC‘s Party Line on my lips, put on a pair of earrings I bought at a Renaissance festival forever ago (no joke!), tucked my tried and true Clare Vivier clutch- which I lovelovelove- under my arm and was out the door! I didn’t put on my shoes, which I got from an old co-worker who also has tiny feet, until we got to Ascot. Usually I’m incredibly overzealous and immediately jam my freshly painted toes into my shoes and completely ef up the finish, but this time I practiced self-restraint and my toenail polish didn’t chip until the next day. YAY! I’m a lady!

Another fun fact: I couldn’t find black feathers anywhere in my Hobbit Town, so I ended up having to buy a silly mask with black feathers on it and repurpose them onto my hat. Craziness, I tell you!

So there you have it, my first ever What I Wore post. I can’t wait to don my dress again! Someone, give me an excuse!

And there I am again. HI! Men in the service are allowed to wear their uniforms into the Royal Enclosure in lieu of a morning suit. Pretty snazzy, huh. OKAYBYE!