A new book giving advice to Indonesian women on how to find an expat man, How to Catch Mr Bule.

Published by Gramedia Pustaka Utama and written by one Erlinawati How to Catch Mr Bule provides tips and advice for Indonesian women on how to snare a foreign man for romance and likely marriage, and how to manage the relationship.

How to Catch Mr Bule.

The book discusses important questions such as:

Are foreign men more caring and loving than Indonesian men?

Is it true foreign men know best how to keep a woman happy?

Or are bules just looking for a bit of fun, or as blogger Indcoup once put it in the four "F"'s - "find, feel, f..., forget"?

Do foreign men like Asian women because they think of them as demure, while western women are too forthright and independent?

What special problems face local women dating a foreign man?

The weird habits of bule men are pointed out as a warning to Indonesian women, such as

they like dogs

they sleep with the lights off

they like to cook for themselves

These small matters could later blow up into big problems and ruin the relationship, it is said. However the main advice seems to be to avoid stereotypes and keep your eyes open.

Available at the bargain price of 25,000 rupiah.

410 Comments on “How to Get a Bule Man”

Im not reading the book yet. I just say what kind of book, i would like to read (i say “I”, maybe not all Indonesian woman would interesting on this matter). Maybe some Indonesian woman that chasing or planning to had a bule, or let say expat husband should read the book that i said. So its not only about how to get.. but also how to maintain the relationship, so it would be last. Experience is the good teacher, so yeah.. should heard from the Indonesian woman sources, and maybe some of the husband too !
As i said, im not reading this yet, the title seemed only made Indonesian woman want to have expat husband. How to get, but not how to maintain. As it said on the sub title: A guidance book for woman how to date with expat guy (am i translate this wrong??).

Well its just my point of view as one of (other) Indonesian woman.

About the international school, i don’t think that the children that goes to SD inpress or SDN could goes to some american school or any other school just like that, i heard its because different curiculum, or like that that made them had to go to international school. Incase if they someday decide to move to their father country and go to school there.

of course they can go to an international school even if they do SD Negeri, it’s just a bit of a shock maybe. But it also depends on how the child is bought up, at home are they taught to be open minded and understand other cultures or are they monocultural? I think children of mixed parentage are equipped to deal with changes between cultures and of schools. It’s not always easy, but they can do it.

I have a lot of bule friends and most of them like to hang out in bars, so lady go there”¦

That is one of the books main pieces of advice, that and take golfing lessons. In Chapter 2 – “Where to find bules”.

Jakarta – office types there, get a job at a place that employs bules or became an assistant for a bule because Jakarta is a confusing place so bules need assistants. If you work with bules suck up your distaste of bars and alcohol and go to a bar with them, don’t keep your mouth shut there, join in the talk.

Go to events where bules go. Don’t dress up sexy if you don’t want to, because SNAGS (the bules who have been made by their bule mothers to be very sensitive towards women and the ones you want) respect and understand eastern standards of modesty.

Bules like sport so learn golf, tennis, billiards but it’s best to let the bule win the first time you play against him – men have big egos. [actually if I were in this situation I’d try to let the girl win the first time so what if we’re both trying to lose – really low standard game].

Christian women, go to international church services.

Yogya – cultural types there, you can spot them when they photocopy pages of the Lonely Planet (the book that serious travellers have), [so hang around photocopying machines?]. Go to bahasa indonesia courses at universities, get a job teaching there, ask the staff there where the bule language learners hang out after class, go there and strike up a conversation.

General and Other Cities – go to cultural events, chambers of commerce, business clubs, join consulate mailing lists.

Next chapter is about Bali, avoid Kuta – full of drunks, they don’t even know they’re in Indoneisa, you can spot them from the way they walk, talk, what they carry, and their attitude.

Go to Ubud – nice cultural types there, eco-tourist bules are the best, don’t think that bules who stay or live in villages are poor, they just want to experience the culture.

This book is sad.. almost told Indonesian woman how to be a bule stalker…
Well everybody had their own way for sure.

But this is what we woman say “trying too hard”.

But for any woman that despertly need Mr Bule, and want to put on table anything she had, as a stake…(money to go to bars, or to join a course, or to travelling to some place that had bule crowds, and brain (at least must pretend she had one) to join those activity such chamber of commerce or bussiness clubs, or have “muka tebal” and not afraid to lie to God for joining christian church service with main intention to get Mr bule and etc)
……. she definetly must have this book.

@ Laiedion
Thats my one and other reason to learn billiards… hehehe (let ’em see things that they can’t have)

But okay, yeah, from a publisher’s point of view. We’re talking business, not love. The book can definitely sell. I’m definitely buying it for my young bule friends, just to have a good time laughing at life. It’s a type of book that goes down well with a cold beer.

I’m married and I have absolutely no desire to have more than one but watching beautiful women passing by while sinking beers on a terrace in the hot sun is one of my favorite “sports”. My wife is perfectly OK with that and she’s always teasing me when I “missed” a hottie.

I’m not attracted to flat butts. Nice, not to big, round ones are my thing, captured in tight pants, skirts or sarong with a thong. Visible lines of large underwear are destroying my appetite. Indonesian women dressed in sarong kabaya with round butts are tha bomb!

It’s obvious we should not take this book seriously. It’s just for fun and a good laugh.

It is evident that (some) Indonesian girls dream of having a bule man to sweep her off her feet and import her to the promised land where the river flows honey, the trees bear golden fruits and the clouds are made of marshmallow. NOT.

As if it isn’t hard enough to catch a good man (regardless of skin color) now the girls in Indonesia are pressured to get themselves their own Mr. Bule? I strongly feel this book and the obsession of (some) Indonesian girls of marrying bules are silly and overrated.

For the girls reading: Men are …(please fill in the dotted lines with whatever a man is to you)…!!
It doesn’t matter what color they are, they’re the same, they’re men. There are good ones in brown, tan, cocoa, beige, pink, red, black, yellow and orange. The good ones does not always come in white. (I like my brown man just fine, thank you)

For the guys reading: don’t get me wrong, I love men of all color. But honestly, If I were a mechanic moonlighting as an electrician and computer technician who bench presses 120 lbs easy, I would still be single right now.

I should write a book titled “how to catch a guy, ANY guy!” Maybe this will also be on the best seller list? What about girls who wants to catch a Ms. Bule? Dildos, anyone?

Erlinawati doesn’t sound Manadonese, more Javanese. People from Manado usually (not all) have ‘sophisticated’ names like Charlotte, Cheryl, Francesca (with e not i), Marilyn, or Vieffy….

Anyway, since I won’t be able to buy the book until I get back to Indonesia, I wonder if she includes several important topics i.e.:

– how to grab his attention, especially if you’re in a dark bar/pub, he is half drunk and surrounded by other girls who have the same interest

– how to move in with him in a week after meeting him and make him think it’s his idea and not yours

– how to make him think he is ready to live his life forever with you even though he doesn’t even know where you live, your last name yet, and what you do in a daylight

– how to get him divorcing his wife and choosing you over his partner for 25 years (and kids, if any)

– how to engage a conversation with your man if he talks about his job and you don’t even understand English (nodding and smiling at the right time or perhaps any other tricks would be welcome)

– how to get him paid for everything even if you’ve just met each other last weekend, and how to have him done it continuously even after you break up with him so you have steady source of income

– how to keep him under your spell so he wouldn’t fall for other Indonesian girls (any mysterious jamu or certain techniques in bed would be much appreciated, thank you).

– how to keep him away from other aggressive Indonesian girls or how to fight against the other Indonesian girls who are interested in stealing your man away from you (it takes more than snigger but she has to do it in such an elegant way otherwise her man will think he’s a precious prince).

Anyone care to share the content of the book? Or better yet, send one to me?

Maybe you could post a comment to Duncan Graham’s blog (indonesianow.blogspot.com) with a link back to this thread…or maybe Erlinawati has a blog of her own (could nto find a link for one)…just a thought!

That’d be the day! Bule and Poor, now there’s an oxymoron for the average indonesian.

Janma she does try to dispel that myth, says that some bules live in slums back home and have drinking problems. She talks about drinking a fair bit.

and not afraid to lie to God for joining christian church service with main intention to get Mr bule and etc)

Farah to be fair to her she says going to church is a good idea if you are Nasrani rajin and taat. I don’t think she says anything about Muslim girls, I did read on Harry Sufehmi’s site once that there is some bule Muslim ngaji group in Jakarta, but I guess they’re all married..

Marisa yes that’s a funny site, it’s making fun of the kind of bules that Erlinawati seems to think are the best, the middle class sensitive PC ones. There’s also Stuff Asian People Like, seems to be making fun of Chinese people or at least north east Asian, mainly though.

Erlinawati doesn’t sound Manadonese, more Javanese. People from Manado usually (not all) have ‘sophisticated’ names like Charlotte, Cheryl, Francesca (with e not i), Marilyn, or Vieffy”¦.

Anita, I dimly remember Duncan saying she was from Manado and it says in the book she has Minahasa blood. Here she is!

Anyway, since I won’t be able to buy the book until I get back to Indonesia, I wonder if she includes several important topics i.e.:

– how to grab his attention, especially if you’re in a dark bar/pub, he is half drunk and surrounded by other girls who have the same interest

– how to move in with him in a week after meeting him and make him think it’s his idea and not yours

– how to make him think he is ready to live his life forever with you even though he doesn’t even know where you live, your last name yet, and what you do in a daylight

– how to get him divorcing his wife and choosing you over his partner for 25 years (and kids, if any)

– how to engage a conversation with your man if he talks about his job and you don’t even understand English (nodding and smiling at the right time or perhaps any other tricks would be welcome)

– how to get him paid for everything even if you’ve just met each other last weekend, and how to have him done it continuously even after you break up with him so you have steady source of income

– how to keep him under your spell so he wouldn’t fall for other Indonesian girls (any mysterious jamu or certain techniques in bed would be much appreciated, thank you).

– how to keep him away from other aggressive Indonesian girls or how to fight against the other Indonesian girls who are interested in stealing your man away from you (it takes more than snigger but she has to do it in such an elegant way otherwise her man will think he’s a precious prince).

Try read “Why Men Marry Bitches” by Sherry Argov. It sure would answer some of your questions, in general.
But sure the book wont explain about men with certain skin colors, just men again.. in general. I think its a good book for woman to read.

But i do agree.. there’s certain things beside sugar coated “how to” with Mr Bule. Had to know why (they actually interested in Indonesia girls maybe), and what (the cons. of the relationship), and wich too (wich bule is potential for long last relationship, bar bule, office bule, school bule, maybe ?).

…good as a starter book tho… (at least someone could actually start write about this matter)