Dr. Erin Olivohttp://www.erinolivo.com
Wise Mind LivingThu, 22 Mar 2018 03:15:24 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=5.0.3Want to Know How to be Happy? Try These Tipshttp://www.erinolivo.com/how-to-be-happy-tips/
http://www.erinolivo.com/how-to-be-happy-tips/#respondSat, 11 Feb 2017 23:58:28 +0000http://www.erinolivo.com/?p=2179Do you want to know how to be happy? The secret is simple: You must choose to be happy - because happiness is a choice. And you’re the only one in charge of your happiness. Yep, you’re in charge of your happiness. Not your partner, mother, boss or best friend. Being happy isn’t the absolute [...]

The secret is simple: You must choose to be happy – because happiness is a choice. And you’re the only one in charge of your happiness.

Yep, you’re in charge of your happiness. Not your partner, mother, boss or best friend.

Being happy isn’t the absolute sum of how much good or bad happens to you. It’s how you choose to view your life and the things that happen to you. You can read my post about the key skills needed to cultivate more happiness here.

If you’re not feeling happy right now, give these tips a try:

Try to make at least three people smile every day.

You’ll be interacting with others and increasing your interpersonal connections makes you feel better. Research has shown that smiling helps you feel happier, and I guarantee that making someone smile will put a smile on your face too.

Sit in silence for at least 10-minutes a day.

There’s a reason why meditation is on the rise. Studies have shown that a regular meditation practice can elevate your baseline happiness level. If you don’t have a regular practice yet, now’s the time to make that commitment.

Keep a gratitude journal.

This one is worth repeating: Gratitude absolutely increases happiness. And when you’re feeling angry or bitter or sad, reading your gratitude list is an excellent antidote. Read this post to learn how to write a gratitude list that works.

Frame every so-called disaster with these words: In three years, will this matter?

One of the hardest things to do when you’re feeling stressed is to keep perspective. Emotion mind thinking is almost always focused on what’s happening immediately in front of you, and it usually feels personal and permanent. But when you step back and put things in perspective, you’ll often find the situation to be far less consequential than it felt in the storm of emotion mind.

Stop comparing your life to others.

This is a habit that will rob you of happiness because comparison of external things creates envy. And most of your comparisons are based on perception, not facts. Start focusing on the positives in your life instead.

Establish a self-care habit.

Our busy lives make it hard to find time to regularly do things that are self-nurturing. I bet you spend plenty of time taking care of other people, but what do you do for yourself? Setting aside time each week to do something that feels good and is just for you will create balance – and make you happy. So pick at least one self-care activity a week (read a fun book, take a yoga class, get a manicure) and put it in your calendar!

Make time for the important people in your life.

The strongest and most consistent finding from all the happiness research ever conducted can be summed up in two words: people matter! Our digital world has created so many convenient ways to keep in touch with friends and family, but the downside is that we spend less face-to-face time with them. So make a plan to see that friend you’ve texted but haven’t seen in ages.

Give these a try and let me know how you feel in the comment section below. And if you have a happiness tip, please share it.

]]>http://www.erinolivo.com/how-to-be-happy-tips/feed/0What To Do When The Holidays Suckhttp://www.erinolivo.com/what-to-do-when-the-holidays-suck/
http://www.erinolivo.com/what-to-do-when-the-holidays-suck/#respondFri, 23 Dec 2016 20:49:24 +0000http://www.erinolivo.com/?p=2159It’s the most wonderful time of year…or is it? The truth is, for a lot of people the holidays suck. The holiday season is one of the hardest times of the year for many of my clients. Pressures on finances and time, dwindling hours of sunlight (read about seasonal affective disorder here), overeating and drinking, [...]

]]>It’s the most wonderful time of year…or is it? The truth is, for a lot of people the holidays suck.

The holiday season is one of the hardest times of the year for many of my clients. Pressures on finances and time, dwindling hours of sunlight (read about seasonal affective disorder here), overeating and drinking, and more time spent with family doesn’t always turn out to be festive.

This time of year can also bring up painful reminders or memories from the past, and sometimes all of this leads to sadness, anxiety and even depression.

If your reality doesn’t resemble a Norman Rockwell painting and you think the holidays suck, you’re not alone. Here are three practices for you to try so you can take care of yourself this holiday season – and all year long.

Practice self-compassion.

It might seem counterintuitive, but pushing all the bad feelings away doesn’t make it better. Allow yourself to feel the sadness and loss that gets triggered, and then offer yourself some compassion and self-care. When you notice sadness, anger or fear building, take a moment and try this simple exercise.

Place your hands on your heart or around your body like an embrace. Take a moment to notice the warmth and sensation of your hands and try to soften and relax your body.

Then say the following: “It’s understandable given (insert your history or circumstances) that I’m feeling pain right now. I am going to try to be kind to myself.”

Lastly, take a few moments to imagine that you’re sending yourself love, kindness and comfort through your hands.

Practice gratitude.

We all know the holidays are the perfect time for gratitude, but don’t just give it lip service—see if you can truly cultivate the mindset of gratitude. Even when you’re feeling a sense of loss or disappointment there are things to feel grateful for around you.

Shifting your attention to what’s going well, instead of focusing on what isn’t, is one of the keys to feeling better. At the end of each day take a moment to make a list of three things you feel grateful for. Be as specific as you can possibly be. I wrote a whole post about how to cultivate gratitude that you can read here.

Practice generosity.

The research on this is super clear – the more generous and giving we are the better we feel. But don’t worry, this doesn’t just mean giving money.

Being generous can be offering the frazzled person in line to go ahead of you, or opening the door for the person loaded with packages. If you know a friend who is also having a hard time, send a text or give them a quick call just to say, “I’m thinking of you.” Take a moment each morning and set an intention to be giving today.

I hope you’ll give these practices a try and let me know how you feel afterwards. Leave a comment in the section below or on my Facebook page.

Wishing you a peaceful holiday filled with self-compassion, gratitude and generosity!

]]>http://www.erinolivo.com/what-to-do-when-the-holidays-suck/feed/05 Powerful Ways to Build Your Self-Confidencehttp://www.erinolivo.com/5-powerful-ways-to-build-your-self-confidence/
http://www.erinolivo.com/5-powerful-ways-to-build-your-self-confidence/#respondMon, 24 Oct 2016 14:18:14 +0000http://www.erinolivo.com/?p=2149Confidence is a mindset. It’s a skill that can be learned, and one of the ways to build your self-confidence is by practicing it. Even the most successful people lack confidence sometimes. My executive coaching work often focuses on helping clients boost their self-confidence. They’ve gotten (and kept) their high level positions because they’re extremely [...]

]]>Confidence is a mindset. It’s a skill that can be learned, and one of the ways to build your self-confidence is by practicing it.

Even the most successful people lack confidence sometimes. My executive coaching work often focuses on helping clients boost their self-confidence. They’ve gotten (and kept) their high level positions because they’re extremely competent. But a lack of confidence is what holds them back, not their ability.

It’s easy to get stuck in a rut at work (or in life) when you’re playing small, and not pushing yourself or taking risks because you lack the confidence. Try these five tips to start building your self-confidence today.

Make a list of your strengths, abilities and accomplishments

Work and life are full of challenges, and sometimes you need to be reminded of your accomplishments and strengths. What is it that got you your job? What skills do you bring to work each and every day?

Make a list now, and don’t forget to include broad competencies like your intelligence and perserverance. Then keep this list handy, whether it’s on your desktop or posted on your bulletin board, so you can be reminded of how talented you are.

Identify your self-defeating inner dialogue

Low self-confidence is often caused by the negative soundtrack in your mind that says you’re not good enough or you’re not ready to take on that project. It’s time to put that inner voice on mute!

For one full day, pay attention to your negative self-talk. Then write down what you caught yourself thinking about your competence, work and worth. You might want to stop and do this a few times during the day so you don’t forget what that voice is saying. (Check out this post to learn how to rid yourself of negative thinking.)

Challenge self-limiting beliefs

Go back and read back what you’ve written, and then challenge any of the thinking that seems extreme or negative. Argue it like you’re in court. If it wouldn’t stand up before a judge, throw it out.

Push yourself out of your comfort zone

The best way to build confidence is to master challenging tasks. Even though you might not feel ready, volunteer for a project or task that requires you to face your fears. If you’re afraid of public speaking, offer to present at the next team meeting. If you’re unsure of your ability to manage a team of people, step up and offer to be the leader on the next project.

Visualize yourself succeeding before you start

Top athletes use visualization as a performance enhancing strategy and you can too. The reason why visualization works is because your brain responds the same way whether you imagine the experience or actually do it.

Set a clear goal, and create a story about your desired feelings and outcome. Then visualize it over and over again. If you want a promotion, imagine yourself in that new role, how it feels, and what you’ll be doing. Using your mind to create an image of what you want and how that feels creates a strong impression on the brain.

Now that you’ve read these tips, it’s time to start practicing them daily. And remember to focus on the positives too (this is a good time to start a gratitude journal).

Change doesn’t happen overnight but I’m confident you’ll see improvements if you continue to practice these steps. Please let me know how it goes in the comment section below.

]]>http://www.erinolivo.com/5-powerful-ways-to-build-your-self-confidence/feed/0Why You’re Feeling Stuck and How To Get Unstuckhttp://www.erinolivo.com/youre-feeling-stuck/
http://www.erinolivo.com/youre-feeling-stuck/#respondSat, 10 Sep 2016 01:27:42 +0000http://www.erinolivo.com/?p=2132Are you feeling stuck? The experience of stuckness is the perception of limited choices. If you think your current job is your only option (even though you’ve exceeded your goals every year but haven’t been promoted), I bet you’re feeling stuck. If you’re only staying with you’re boyfriend because you don’t think you’ll ever meet [...]

No one likes feeling stuck.

But in order to get unstuck, you have to step back and really look at your life. This means assessing the good stuff – like your strengths, abilities and resources. Next comes the not so good stuff – like the limits, problems and the parts you’re not satisfied with.

Then you have to make a choice. And there’s always a choice, no matter the situation. Really.

So what happens when you add these two together?Awareness + Choice = A Life You Love.

Fantastic! But how exactly do you get this life you love?

My patients and readers have been posing this question to me over the years as they’ve been seeking meaningful and fulfilled lives.

So I decided it was time to direct my attention to answering this (big) question and share my insights with you. The result is a refreshed website, with a new design and content that focuses on how to build a life you love. You can check it out here.

Don’t worry, all of the resources and blog posts I’ve written over the years are still there. And now I’ve added some new content and did some re-organizing.

And from there you’ll need to manage the emotions that come up or the obstacles you might encounter along the way. The information on my website offers tools to help you figure out your course of action, how to get back on track, and how to manage the stress of it all.

Check out the site, then let me know what you think. I’d also love to hear if there are any topics you’d like to read more about. You can email me at info@erinolivo.com, write on my Facebook page or send me a tweet @DrErinOlivo.

Like what you see and know someone who also wants to build a life they love? Please share this post with them.

]]>http://www.erinolivo.com/youre-feeling-stuck/feed/0A Simple Strategy to Help You Feel Betterhttp://www.erinolivo.com/a-simple-strategy-to-help-you-feel-better/
http://www.erinolivo.com/a-simple-strategy-to-help-you-feel-better/#respondWed, 13 Jul 2016 18:06:46 +0000http://www.erinolivo.com/?p=1723How many hundreds of times have the words “I can’t help how I feel!” come out of your mouth? You probably started saying it as a child, and then grew to believe it as an adult. But what if I told you that this isn’t true? What if I told you that you can help [...]

Most of your emotional reactions in life, how you feel about certain situations, are actually dictated by what you think.

Consider this example. You’re standing in line at Starbucks and the person in front of you is taking forever. You start to get agitated, even angry and stressed out, because you have places to be and it should not take this long to pay for a cappuccino.

Your heart beats faster, your mind races, and you think, “What is this idiot doing? How dare he screw up my schedule. I’m going to be late because of him!”

And then you notice his cane.

Turns out that the guy taking so long to pay is legally blind and has been struggling to find his wallet. In a flash, your irritation subsides and you feel terrible for having had such uncharitable thoughts!

The thing to note about this scenario is how your emotional reactions, your feelings, were triggered by your perception of reality, your thoughts.

Nothing in the reality of the situation itself ever changed – a man bought a cup of coffee. And yet you experienced a tremendous rollercoaster ride of emotion, from anger to guilt, all based on how your mind told you to experience that reality.

But the bottom line is that your feelings are not facts, and you can change how you feel by changing what you think.

The next time your mind jumps to a conclusion that makes you feel stressed out, angry, insecure or afraid, take a deep breath and calm your body down.

You do not want to try working with your thoughts when you’re in emotion mind—they’re too hot to handle and you won’t make mindful wise mind choices until you cool down. If you need more help calming down you can try this guided relaxation exercise.

Once your body is calmer, ask yourself this one important question that can change your emotional experience:

“Is the way I’m thinking about this situation absolutely true or is there another way to look at this?”

In the Starbucks example, if you had asked yourself that question you might have come up with some alternate ways of looking at the situation, even without knowing all the facts:

“I’m operating under the assumption that this should be faster but the reality is that customer service taking longer than I’d like is often the rule, not the exception.”

“This guy’s slowness is aggravating me right now, but I’ve probably been the slow person ordering before and that probably aggravated other people.”

“I’m taking this too personally, as if this guy is actually trying to make me late when he’s just trying to get his coffee too.”

“The reality is that the 60-90 seconds longer it will take me to get my coffee is not nearly as bad as I’m making it out to be.”

You might find it hard to come up with alternate ways of thinking about the situation when you first start using this tool, but the more you do it the easier it becomes.

When we’re in emotion mind we all tend to fall into some common patterns of negative thinking. If you watch out for them you can use them as short cuts to find the flaws in your “story.” Here’s a cheat sheet: check out this list of distorted thought patterns to see if you’re guilty of any of these.

Although you can’t stop a thought from popping into your head, it’s important to remember that you have the ability to control your own mind.

You can decide whether a thought takes root, gets weeded out or gets bonsai-ed into a more desirable, lasting shape (or story). So give these tips a try and let me know about a “story” you discovered you were able to change in the comment section below.

]]>http://www.erinolivo.com/a-simple-strategy-to-help-you-feel-better/feed/0How A Gratitude List Will Make You Happierhttp://www.erinolivo.com/how-a-gratitude-list-will-make-you-happier/
http://www.erinolivo.com/how-a-gratitude-list-will-make-you-happier/#commentsFri, 17 Jun 2016 15:16:10 +0000http://www.erinolivo.com/?p=1730When you hear the research about gratitude and how making a gratitude list improves your health, makes you feel more connected to others, and lifts your mood - are you skeptical? How are you going to feel better just by making a list? And do those psychologists actually think that this Pollyanna-attitude-thing is going to [...]

]]>When you hear the research about gratitude and how making a gratitude list improves your health, makes you feel more connected to others, and lifts your mood – are you skeptical?

How are you going to feel better just by making a list?

And do those psychologists actually think that this Pollyanna-attitude-thing is going to help when you’re really feeling crappy?

It may sound too good to be true, but I’m here to tell you it’s not.

Gratitude increases happiness and is a great antidote to many things, including anger and bitterness (read this post I wrote to learn more about happiness and gratitude). It’s also a key component of Wise Mind Living.

Here’s how to make a gratitude list that really works.

Get specific.

It’s not enough to just write, “I’m grateful that my husband is a good guy.” The positive impact you get from gratitude increases when you offer yourself real, specific evidence for why you feel grateful.

“I’m grateful that my husband got up with the kids and let me sleep in this morning” is more specific and will have a greater impact on improving your mood. Think about it as building up a case of evidence for feeling good.

Do it every day.

Research shows that the more you do something the more likely it will become a habit. The longer your gratitude list gets, the greater the case you’re building for feeling positive. Over time you’ll find that having a gratitude practice can actually change your overall perspective on life.

Share it.

The gratitude list itself will help you feel more positive but if you want to increase that feel-good vibe, share your thanks with others. If being grateful that your boss supported and green-lighted your project is on your list, tell her!

You’ll feel more connected to other people in your life if you share your thanks with them. This also improves your relationships.

Try to find the good in the bad.

It’s ridiculous to expect that simply focusing on the fact that it’s a bright sunny day will make you feel better when something really bad is going on.

But it will improve your outlook if you try to find the opportunity or the lesson to be learned in a not-so-great situation. “It sucks that George broke up with me but I’m grateful that I’m not in a relationship with someone who isn’t really into me. I want to be with someone who thinks that I’m amazing!”

Give these a try the next time you start your gratitude list and let me know how they worked for you in the comment section below.

]]>http://www.erinolivo.com/how-a-gratitude-list-will-make-you-happier/feed/17 Tips to Bring Positivity Into Your Lifehttp://www.erinolivo.com/7-tips-to-bring-positivty/
http://www.erinolivo.com/7-tips-to-bring-positivty/#respondMon, 30 May 2016 00:56:26 +0000http://www.erinolivo.com/?p=1689Every day has something positive in it. Some days you just have to look a little harder. Here are seven things you can do to bring positivity and happiness into your life. Write in a gratitude journal every day. Make sure to be specific! A number of studies have found gratitude to be linked with [...]

]]>Every day has something positive in it. Some days you just have to look a little harder. Here are seven things you can do to bring positivity and happiness into your life.

Write in a gratitude journal every day.

Make sure to be specific! A number of studies have found gratitude to be linked with positive emotions, and overall well-being and life satisfaction. And writing in your journal every day will help it to become a habit.

Listen to music that sounds the way you want to feel.

Research has shown that music activates the region of the brain that releases the feel good chemical dopamine and also relaxes the body. So “happy” music can in fact make you feel happier!

Share positivity by sending one thank-you email or doing one kind act every day.

There are several studies that show that acts of kindness can boost happiness, reduce depression and even help you live longer.

Challenge your negative thinking.

Ask yourself, “Is there another more positive way I could view this?” Hundreds of studies have shown that being able to think optimistically is good for your health and well-being.

But, it’s not just about adopting a Polyanna attitude—optimists are better problem solvers and better at accepting bad situations. Read this post to learn how to rid yourself of negative thinking patterns and focus on positivity.

Smile.

It might sound simplistic, but research has shown that it actually helps you feel happier. Feedback sent to the brain from facial muscles can actually impact the development of emotions and the effect is even stronger if you combine the smile with a positive thought. So smile at the next cute kid you see!

Follow your passion.

Do something you feel excited about. Volunteer for a cause you believe in or sign up for a class to learn something new. Several studies have shown that people who feel a sense of meaning in their life are healthier, live longer and have greater life satisfaction.

Meditate.

Even just 7-minutes of meditation a day has been shown to improve mood, decrease stress and improve sleep. Regular meditators are calmer, have greater self-awareness and have better focus too.

You don’t have to let bad news and negativity ruin your day. You have a choice about where you focus your attention and how you choose to respond to any situation. Try incorporating these tips into your life and I’m confident you’ll see how the positives outweigh the negatives.

Let me know how it goes in the comment section below and if you found these tips helpful please share them with your friends. Thanks for reading!

]]>http://www.erinolivo.com/7-tips-to-bring-positivty/feed/0A Mother’s Day Message of Thanks to My Sonhttp://www.erinolivo.com/a-mothers-day-message-of-thanks-to-my-son/
http://www.erinolivo.com/a-mothers-day-message-of-thanks-to-my-son/#respondSun, 08 May 2016 02:19:19 +0000http://www.erinolivo.com/?p=1682I am blessed to have an incredible mom who has shaped my life in countless ways. I wrote a post about that last Mother’s Day, and in the year since she has continued to amaze me with her generosity, seemingly limitless energy and unconditional love and support. But this year, I also want to take [...]

]]>I am blessed to have an incredible mom who has shaped my life in countless ways. I wrote a post about that last Mother’s Day, and in the year since she has continued to amaze me with her generosity, seemingly limitless energy and unconditional love and support.

But this year, I also want to take a moment to offer my deep gratitude and appreciation to my son, and acknowledge all of the important lessons he has taught me since that incredible day, six years ago, when I became his mother.

There is no other experience in my life that has been more meaningful or more powerful than motherhood. So on this Mother’s Day, I want to offer my thanks to my beautiful son for teaching me these three golden life lessons:

Life is moving at lightening speed, soak up every moment.

I looked at my son last night and was amazed at how big he has gotten! It seems like just yesterday he was that tiny little preemie we worried about in the NICU.

But as I watch him grow and change, at a rate that is truly alarming, it reminds me of how important it is to be fully present in each moment. My son is the best reminder to try and be mindfully present every day, and savor each moment I have with him.

This too shall pass. (And then there will be something else, and that too will pass.)

This constantly moving, changing, dynamic process called childhood offers many opportunities to learn this life lesson. In the early days of being a mom, I found that I would worry about every little thing and make the mistake of thinking these “things” could be permanent. I’d think, “is he ever going to learn to sleep through the night?” or “why is it taking him so long to learn his colors, is he color blind?”

But then thankfully not too far into this parenting thing, it dawned on me that these “things” were all a bunch of phases. DUH! I actually taught a college course on child development once upon a time (and now attribute my lack of sleep for forgetting those lessons).

As soon as you think you can not possibly make it through one more night of crying from teething pain, the tooth arrives and you move on to the next thing. But if you can practice acceptance and remind yourself that everything is always changing, you’ll be better able to tolerate the rough stuff no matter the situation.

Whenever you can, laugh and DANCE!

Juggling a full time job, being a mother, keeping up with friends, and trying to live a healthy and balanced life can be difficult. But whenever I’m feeling tired, cranky or stressed out, my son is there to remind me that there’s always an opportunity to bring joy and fun into any moment.

My silly boy, who seems to spend half his waking hours working on his “dance moves,” reminds me every day how important it is to laugh and play.

So on this Mother’s Day, remember to have some laugh-out-loud fun and savor each and every moment. That’s exactly what I plan on doing with my son.

]]>http://www.erinolivo.com/a-mothers-day-message-of-thanks-to-my-son/feed/04 Simple Ways to Stress Lesshttp://www.erinolivo.com/4-simple-ways-to-stress-less/
http://www.erinolivo.com/4-simple-ways-to-stress-less/#respondMon, 11 Apr 2016 21:34:46 +0000http://www.erinolivo.com/?p=1672Stressed out? You’re not alone. Many of my patients come to see me because they’re feeling stressed out. Unfortunately, stress is a part of life and you can’t ever completely get rid of it—but you can transform your experience of it and learn to stress less. The key to managing stress effectively is remembering that [...]

Many of my patients come to see me because they’re feeling stressed out. Unfortunately, stress is a part of life and you can’t ever completely get rid of it—but you can transform your experience of it and learn to stress less.

The key to managing stress effectively is remembering that in stressful situations you have a choice about what to focus on and how to respond. You can either stress out about the long line for your morning latte, or take a mindfulmoment and breathe in and out slowly and deeply until it’s your turn to order. It’s your choice.

April is Stress Awareness Month and to help you de-stress, here are four simple ways to cope with stress that will also improve your mood.

Transform your negative experiences into perspective taking moments.

The way you experience a situation can change depending on your perspective. A few days ago I was in a taxi sitting at a traffic light, when all of a sudden there was a loud thump that shook the whole cab. I was startled, and immediately thought someone was angry and looking for a fight. My heart started racing and the stress response kicked in because I thought we were in danger.

Instead of feeling afraid, my driver got angry and started to yell. And then we both saw it – the white cane – and we realized that an elderly blind man trying to cross the street had bumped into the cab.

Both of our attitudes immediately changed. The driver pulled forward so the car wasn’t blocking the man’s path, and I was suddenly more grateful then I can ever remember for my eyesight. When was the last time you even thought about your eyesight?! Talk about perspective changing. A passerby guided the blind man across the street and we both breathed a sigh of relief. In a matter of seconds, I went from stressed out to feeling grateful about a lot of things.

Change the channel – literally.

The 24/7 news cycle can be downright depressing. American politics has reached an all time low, ISIS continues to shock with its deplorable actions, and the Zika virus seems to be on a rapid rise. If this news is stressing you out, it’s time to literally change the channel and seek out positive news.

I’m not advocating putting your head in the sand, but it’s important to remember that you don’t have to inundate yourself with bad news all the time. Recognize the need to take a break and go for a walk with a friend, check out the Good News section on the Huffington Post or meditate. If your view is bad, change the view.

Change the channel – internally.

It’s not just the outside world that might be stressing you out. If the voice inside your head is constantly telling you a negative story, that can be very stressful too. We all have that voice sometimes, and when it generates negative thoughts and starts judging, it creates a lot of internal stress.

So observe your thoughts and decide to change the bad story. Instead of complaining about the insane amount of traffic or the crowded train on your daily commute, sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs while driving or smile at the little kid sitting across from you on the subway. Or instead of ruminating about the annoying person at the office who isn’t pulling his weight, try focusing on yourself (someone you actually do have control over) and remind yourself of the great job you’ve been doing at work. Let go of the stories that aren’t serving you.

Finish something.

If your to-do list is stressing you out, pick something on it that you’ve been putting off that will impact your life positively and do it! Trust me, it feels really good to finish something. Clean out your closet, respond to that email from your friend you haven’t spoken to in ages, or organize your desk. Mastery gives you a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishing something leaves you feeling effective instead of stressed.

Give these tips a try and let me know how they worked for you in the comment section below. And if you found this post helpful please share it with your friends and colleagues who might be stressing out too. Thanks for reading!

]]>http://www.erinolivo.com/4-simple-ways-to-stress-less/feed/0Give Yourself Some Love This Valentine’s Dayhttp://www.erinolivo.com/give-yourself-some-love-this-valentines-day/
http://www.erinolivo.com/give-yourself-some-love-this-valentines-day/#respondSun, 14 Feb 2016 23:56:15 +0000http://www.erinolivo.com/?p=1661I was making Valentine’s cards with my 5-year-old son, and as he was counting to make sure there was a card for each kid in the class, he casually said, “Oh wait, I need to make one for myself!” This got me thinking about how infrequently we stop to offer ourselves love and appreciation. In [...]

]]>I was making Valentine’s cards with my 5-year-old son, and as he was counting to make sure there was a card for each kid in the class, he casually said, “Oh wait, I need to make one for myself!”

This got me thinking about how infrequently we stop to offer ourselves love and appreciation. In fact, all too often we do the exact opposite and beat ourselves up and put ourselves down.

So this Valentine’s Day, I suggest you take the sage advice of a child and start giving yourself some love and appreciation on a regular basis. Here are three practices for you to try:

Take the time to self-soothe.

You probably know what makes you feel good, but how often do you actually take the time to do it? When was the last time you curled up with a cup of tea and a good book, took a luxurious bubble bath, or stopped to buy yourself flowers?

Often, the effort that seems to be required to pamper yourself can be enough to deter you. Or perhaps you’re like many of the people I work with, who deny themselves a nurturing moment because they don’t feel like they deserve it.

Today I’d like you to overcome those defeating beliefs and do something to create a soothing moment for yourself. If you can’t figure out what to do, try listening to this relaxation exercise.

Stop bullying yourself and watch out for negative self-talk.

Do you think of yourself as a caring and supportive person to others, ready with a kind word for your friends when they are down? I bet you do.

But when it comes to yourself, do you act with the same kindness? Or do you actually tend to be harsh and unkind to yourself? Falling into the unhealthy habit of bullying yourself is all too common—especially when you’re feeling stressed out. (Read this post for tips on reducing stress.)

Starting today, I’d like you to pay attention to how you’re talking to yourself. Be on alert for moments when you put yourself down or say something you’d never, ever say out loud to a friend – or even to a stranger.

There are some common themes of how this shows up, so check out this post to see if you’re falling into any of the pitfalls of negative thinking. Usually just noticing that you’re doing it is enough to get you to stop.

Write a gratitude list about yourself.

I bet you’re going to write a card to someone today (maybe you partner, mother, or sister), and you’re going to tell them what you love and appreciate about them. Now add yourself to that list.

We don’t usually take the time to congratulate or say nice things to ourselves, because, really, who does that?

Well actually, people who are happier and more self-confident write regular gratitude lists. So write a list of what you’re proud of and what you appreciate about yourself, and be specific. And then do this on a regular basis. For more tips on how to make your gratitude list more effective, read this post.

I hope that you take some time this Valentine’s Day (and every day) to love and appreciate yourself – because you deserve it!