Friday, April 20, 2007

Quotes on sex

1. "It's so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan Rivers 2. "If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all."Rodney Dangerfield 3. "Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy." Steve Martin. 4. "My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'." Emo Philips. 5. "When I'm good I'm very, very good but when I'm bad I'm better." Mae West. 6. "What's wrong with a little incest? It's both handy and cheap."James Agate 7. "I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though." Elton John. 8. "My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she objects." Les Dawson 9. "I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own." Woody Allen 10. "A terrible thing happened to me last night again - Nothing." Phyllis Diller 11. "The Love Bird is 100% faithful to his mate, as long as they are locked together in the same cage." Will Cuppy 12. "Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night." Woody Allen 13. "My best birth control now is to leave the lights on." Joan Rivers 14. "It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on." Marylyn Munroe. 15. "Oh Lord give me chastity, but do not give it yet." St Augustine 16. "The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutang trying to play the violin." Honore de Balzac 17. "My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty." Woody Allen 18. "Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure." Bob Hope 19. "I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women." Bernard Manning. 20. "I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds." Joan Rivers