Derek Draper boasts of having an M.A. in Clinical Psychology, Guido wondered if his education could perhaps be applied usefully to the occupant of No. 10, Downing Street. So Guido thought it would be a bit of a laugh to track down Derek’s Master’s dissertation and see if it had any pearls of wisdom that could be applied to the state of mind of the Prime Mentalist.

A quick bit of Google research brought up a recent profile (July) and biography in the Guardian written by David Hencke. In the largely sympathetic article we learnt that Derek is a reformed character and no longer the legendary unsavoury spinner. Even a bitter old foe like Roy Hattersley has been won round:

He is Like a Character in a novel. There is always a whiff of danger because you don’t know what he is going to do next

The spin doctor turned psychotherapist has returned to the Labour fold … Hattersley, who recently lunched with Draper, says: “I believe he is now a changed man. He’s got older, is more measured. I don’t whether it is because he is now a psychotherapist or his marriage but he has changed. He will be an asset to the party.”

Education Southlands high school, Chorley; University of Manchester, economics; University of California, Berkeley, MA in clinical psychology

Family Married to GMTV presenter Kate Garraway. One daughter

Career 1990-92, constituency secretary to Nick Brown; 92-96, researcher for Peter Mandelson; 96-99, director of lobbying firm GPC Market Access. Briefly a columnist for the Express and presenter on Talk Radio; Currently a psychotherapist with a practice in London.

Having now discovered where he got his qualifications Guido contacted the registrar of the prestigious Berkeley campus at the University of California to track down the dissertation. He, and the academic librarian, were unsuccessful in finding the dissertation. Strangely the registrar could find no actual record of a student called Derek Draper:

Because the information you provided did not match any records in our database, we asked the school to research your request. The school was unable to locate either a degree or enrollment record for the subject of your verification request.

Nothing. Derek Draper never studied psychology at Berkeley, University of California. His professional practice website implies he did, though if you read it carefully it says “in” rather than “at”.

Like all good “celebs” Draper has an agent, the CV he sends out to potential bookers says, you guessed it; Berkeley, California. The truth is that a leopard can’t change its spots, he learnt how to spin from Mandelson, like his master he can’t help himself. Derek Draper wants to be Labour’s answer to Iain Dale, instead he seems more like Labour’s version of Jeffrey Archer. A fantasist who exaggerates himself for his own psychological reasons.

The Whitehouse press corps are up in arms that Obama called on Huffington Post’s Sam Stein to ask a question during the Presidential press conference. It was the first time a President called on an online-only publication during a press conference. Obama ignored hacks from the Dead Tree Press, in favour of the blogger. Political blogger, Anna Marie Cox, the original Wonkette, Twittered: “LOTS of grumbling post-press conf about HuffPo getting a q; but accusing O of ‘filibustering’ seems to ignore HuffPo q was smart and tough.”Cry a river…

If the Lobby was being honest, they know that the next government, Cameron and Osborne in particular, start the day the Guido way. That must hurt – a lot…

In a step which Guido self-consciously saw as a bit too “Westminster insider”, the producers of Westminster’s answer to the Oscars, the Channel 4 Political Awards, asked him to pre-record some pithy comments about the nominees. The idea being presumably that when Jon Snow says “and the nominees are…” they go to video with the names, plus a few talking heads handicapping the runners and riders before the envelope is finally opened and the announcement made followed by gushing luvvie acceptance speeches.

Despite generously taking the time out to doing the filming, Guido is clearly too far below the salt to be invited to the actual ceremony itself. Or possibly it is because he said in one of the intros something like

“I have known John Bercow for 20 years, he is ambitious, articulate, a talented performer in the chamber, there is only one problem with him – he is a shit.”

If today Dave doesn’t bring up the issue of MP’s expense fiddles, many ordinary viewers of the TV highlights will take the conspiracy of silence as a clear signal that “they are all at it”. The silence of the house on tackling abuses by rogue members is shameful.

Most people are disgusted by the venal money grubbing fiddles that MPs get up to. Figure out how to channel that disgust and you are on to a vote winner. Sleaze and incompetence dispatched the Major government. They can once again lubricate the exit of this government as well. Incompetence has already been established. Making “Labour” and “sleaze” synonymous will make voting for Labour distasteful.

The Miliband led foreign policy has taken a quirky turn. Britain used to send navy gunships to foreign lands that were becoming troublesome. Now the Foreign Office buys local television advertising space pleading “don’t attack us.” Soft power versus hard power. Does it make more sense to advertise on Pakistani TV than do as the Americans are doing and bomb them? Perhaps.

Guido is an advocate of a new cultural offensive against medieval Islam. The weapons should be Playboy magazine, MTV (in particular the Pussy Cat Dolls latest video), Coca Cola and iPods.

When it comes to convincing disaffected young muslim men of the superiority of the West, girls in mini-skirts will trump girls in burqas every time.

Quote of the Day

“I read more bloggers now than mainstream columnists, because they’ve got more interesting things to say. Too many columnists today make you think, ‘Yeah, I think you’ve said that 10 times before and I’ve just noticed your column has not go a single fact in it’”.