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ROSS O'CARROLL-KELLY, THE MISEDUCATION YEARS

'So there I was, roysh, putting the 'in' in 'in crowd' ... But being a schools rugby legend has its downsides.' This is where it all began: the formation of the phenomenon that is Ross O'Carroll-Kelly.

With a new introduction by Paul Howard, Ross's representative on, loike, earth?

So there I was, roysh, putting the 'in' in 'in crowd', hanging out, pick of the babes, bills from the old pair to fund the lifestyle I, like, totally deserve. But being a schools rugby legend has its downsides, roysh, like all the total knobs wanting to chill in your, like, reflected glory, and the bunny-boilers who decide they want to be with me and won't take, like, no for an answer. And we're talking totally here. Basically, it may look like a champagne bath with, like, Nell McAndrew, with, like, no clothes and everything, but I can tell you, roysh, those focking bubbles can burst. And when they do … OH MY GOD!

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly is all meat and no preservatives, roysh, at least, that's what it says in the can in, like, one particular south Dublin girls' school, which shall remain nameless, roysh, basically to protect the names of the guilty. You know who you are.

With a new introduction by Paul Howard, Ross's representative on, loike, earth?

He is also the author of the bestselling prison expose, The Joy, and co-author of Celtic Warrior, the autobiography of boxer Steve Collins.

A former Sports Journalist of the Year, Paul covered the World Cup in Japan and Korea in 2002, and the rugby World Cup in Australia in 2003. His account of the Irish soccer squad and the notorious drama in Saipan, The Gaffers: Mick McCarthy, Roy Keane and the Team they Built, was a bestseller.

Paul has also written several massively popular plays and has won the popular fiction prize at the Irish Book Awards three times for books in the Ross O'Carroll-Kelly series.

I cannot resist picking him up, yet, more than any other man, he sets my teeth on edge. Our rendezvous every Sunday morning is beset with mixed emotions, yet a week is too long apart. His warped charm leaves me simultaneously seething and smirking... Brace yourselves for the ride.

Irish Examiner

Devious and amusing... remarkably close to reality.

Irish Times

In Ross, Paul Howard has created a marvel. Every detail of the life of this buffoon has been gleaned from the terraces of rugby clubs in Dublin's southside, from coffee shops in the ‘burbs and of course the assembly halls of schools from Blackrock to Mount Anville... It's Bridget Jones meets Adrian Mole meets Dublin Four. A potent mix, superbly executed by Howard.