Archive for June, 2014

Once again my mother strikes. For those of you who have been following my blogs, you are aware of my relationship with my mother, that is not great at all.

For those of you who aren't aware, my mother is a woman who is a very angry and for the life of us, her kids and grand children we can't seem to figure out why.

A few years ago she told me to get the F out of her house because of a stupid disagreement over clothes I had left in a washing machine. We didn't speak for some time after that and I now pretty much still keep my distance.

Long story short she's just hateful.

Now fast forward, I still stay away and so does my nieces and nephews as well as my siblings with the exception of one, her favorite.

Almost a year and half ago, my sister moved in with my mother to try and save some money. I told her at the time that if I was her, I would make sure that I stick with the plan and save money, possibly looking for a full time job. Low and behold a few months after my sister moved in she started, my mother that is. My sister has called me crying about the same things I had issues with:
- Mom constantly complaining
-Mom begging for money , even though you pay her rent
- Mom not talking to you because you won't share what happened over at dad's when you visit him
- Mom yelling

As far as the money goes my mom has a nice little chunk of change, her house is paid for her car is paid for, and she has no credit card bills. She's the type of woman that if you have $3 you should give her $1

So my sister calls me today in tears because she attempted to talk to my mother to explain how mom makes her feel ( e.g low self- esteem, afraid to speak to her). Long story short ,
Mom told her what she old me a few years ago, right before she told me to get out and that was " as long a you live don't talk to me." Why she says those things I can't understand. Does she not realize that telling your kids those things are hurtful. Or does she not care?

I told my sister she could come here for a few days if she'd liked until things cooled off but if I was her, I'd make sure my ducks are in a row because knowing my mother it's just a matter of time before she tells her to get out.

I told my sister that maybe something happened to my mother as a kid and that's why she treats us, especially the girls, the way she does. Or maybe her mother treated her the way she treats us.

I was always afraid to have kids because I am afraid that I will treat them the way my mother treated us. I remember once I wrote a letter, I was about ten, talking about how my mother treated and talked to us, how she treated my brother totally different and she found it. Rather than talking to me telling me she loved me, she beat me for writing the letter. I'll never forget that, I thought what type of woman does that? There was also a time I was about 6, she beat me for something, I can't remember but it could have been I didn't eat my dinner or something stupid like that. I remember after the beating/spanking taking a bunch of pills to go to sleep and praying that I not wake up. But obviously I did.

As I got older I still battle with depression, thoughts of suicide when feeling down. But I will say this, and that is I've gotten much better at controlling those thoughts, not allowing them to control

Glad to be back on track. Even though I haven't officially started the new job, I'm able to start back building my EF and make contributions to my challenge.

Dad gave me $40 today so I'm depositing that the my $20 challenge, within just two days I was able to deposit a total of $60

Dad told me something, that made a whole lot of sense. He said when he came to this country he was making about $1 and some change an hour but he managed to set aside $10 a week and that that $10 grew from $10 to $100, to a few thousands and so on. It makes me so proud to see a man who started out with little of nothing build so much wealth. A great retirement, rental properties and so forth. It can be done.

* August 2013 I received my masters degree
* October 2013 I was let go
* October 2013 started a HR consulting firm (not doing too well)
*January 2014 I became PHR certified
* Thank goodness for the $20 challenge and the 52 week challenge, because I have been living off my savings every since I was let go. I did have to withdraw a little from my IRA as well
*Found a job at Target in their HR department ($10.50/hr) three weeks ago, had to do what I had to do, no benefits but I do like the job
* Was offered a HR position with a growing company paying me a lot more and benefits on Tuesday, starting this coming Monday. I have no idea how I am going to break the news to Target
* Due to my lay off I wasn't able to make deposits for the 52 week challenge or my IRA and I have since started this back up
* Credit cards are still low, I have managed not to rack up any charges on the cards that are paid off.