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The Thief Who Could Not Spell

Occasionally I get scammers who are so terrible that they give a bad
name to their fellow thieves. Case in point is the following e-mail
message which I received today from a so-called "DOCTOR DOUGLAS H. KING," who is clearly an uneducated and not sophisticated thief.

[Publisher's Commentary: On Scammers]

I get hundreds of legitimate e-mail messages everyday --maybe over 900.

While many are legitimate news tips, article submissions, press releases, racist written assaults, and some praises, I also get my fair share of junk mail --messages about drugs to enhance sexual potency or enlarge the size of the critical anatomy.

Yet the most special e-mail messages are the infamous so-called "Nigerian" scammers'. Truth be said the scammers aren't all Nigerians but include con artists from all over the world.

Some scammers are very good and if they applied their energy to productive enterprises, they could become highly successful legitimate business executives. Who can deny the genius of the Nigerians who duped a Brazilian bank executive a few years ago into wiring them millions of dollars for a supposed oil? They must have had considerable powers of persuasion.

Occasionally I get scammers who are so terrible that they give a bad name to their fellow thieves. Case in point is the following e-mail message which I received today from a so-called "DOCTOR DOUGLAS H. KING," who is clearly an uneducated and not sophisticated thief.

Check out the broken English and poor grammar in the good doctor's letter of intent to commit theft. How does a thief send such a poorly written con letter to a newspaper editor? He also claims, incredibly, that if I can't prove the "money" belongs to me, it will be confiscated and deposited in "The World Bank," as if the Washington, D.C.-based economic development institution is a commercial bank.

The quality of idiocy has diminished--or did I mean to say improved? What has this world come to? The "doctor's" letter follows:

"INTERNATIONAL POLICE UNITED STATES SECTION ( INTERPOL ) Region No. 2 New York City P.O. Box 804 Knickerbockers Station New York City, New -York 10002-0804 U.S.A.

Attn: Sir/Madam. The office of the international police (INTERPOL) hereby write to inform you that we caught a diplomatic lady called Mrs. Dorothy Wallace at (John F. Kennedy International Airport) here in New -York with parcel box filed with united state dollars.

Meanwhile, base on our interview to the diplomat (Mrs. Dorothy Wallace) she said that the parcel box belongs to you, that she was sent by Dr. Craw Williams from the Central Bank Of Nigeria to deliver the parcel box to your doorstep, not knowing that the content of the parcel box is money.

The diplomat also said that her first transit in the states was at Cincinnati Northern, Kentucky International Airport Ohio. Now, the diplomat is under detention in the office of (INTERPOL) security, and we cannot release her until we carry out our proper investigation on how this huge amount of money managed to be yours before we will release her with the box.

So, in this regard, you are to re-assure and prove to us that the money you are about to receive is legal by sending us the Award Ownership Certificate showing that the money is not illegal.

Note that the Award Ownership Certificate must to be secured from the office of the Senate president in Nigeria, because that is the only office that will issue you the original Award Ownership Certificate of these funds.

You are advised to forward immediately the Award Ownership Certificate if you have it with you, but if you do not have it, we will urge you as a matter of urgency to contact back the sender of the diplomat to help you secure the Award Ownership Certificate if at all you did not have it. Below is the contact information of the person that sent the diplomat.

Name: Dr. Craw Williams Email: drcrawwilliams@gmail.com Furthermore, we are giving you only but 5 working business days to forward the requested Award Ownership Certificate. Please note that we shall get back to you after the 5 working business days, if you didn’t come up with the certificate we shall confiscate the funds into World Bank account then charge you for money laundry, but if you forward the Award Ownership Certificate then we will release the diplomat with your parcel box and also gives you every back up till the money arrives your doorstep.

Also note that we are doing this to make sure that any huge amount of money like yours that enters United States is genieu. Thanks for your understanding. Yours Truly, I.P.A REGION NO: 2 THANKS. DOCTOR DOUGLAS H. KING . COMMITTEE OF POLICE SOCIETIES, NYPD. ipauss1@gmail.com"