Clerks 3 is going to happen – here’s the 20 best Clerks lines to celebrate

20 years ago, Kevin Smith turned his life as a convenience store clerk into a movie, aptly named Clerks.

Paid for with $24,000 on maxed out credit cards (he lied to the companies in order to get them, saying he was the owner of the store) and filmed while the store was closed for the night, Clerks was a independent movie sensation and turned Smith into a cult favourite.

After a few other adventures with Jay and Silent Bob (and one duo-less film), Smith returned to Dante and Randal for Clerks 2, which saw the pair working in a fast food restaurant.

Smith has always wanted to return to the hapless Clerks that gave him a career, but financing troubles halted the project. But thanks to his new movie Tusk making waves, Smith now has the money to complete the Clerks trilogy. To celebrate, let’s look at the 20 best lines from both movies, and the ill-fated animated series.

2. ‘I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean that’s what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity.’ – Dante on his failed relationships (Clerks)

3. ‘Every chick I slept with at school is now a lesbian? I am the ultimate male!’ – Randal on learning that his sexual partners now ‘bat for the other side’ (Clerks: The Animated Series)

4. ‘We were just killing time with those classes! One semester we took Criminology, for Christ’s sakes. What the fuck were we training to be, Batmen?’ – Randal on why they quit college (Clerks 2)

5. ‘It’s important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That’s why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.’ – A customer gives some life lessons to Dante and Randal (Clerks)

6. ‘Bear is driving how can that be?!’ – English dub voiceover (Clerks: The Animated Series)

7. ‘This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers.’ – Randal on working in a convenience store (Clerks)

9. ‘Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randal!’ – Elias on why The Transformers are awesome (Clerks 2)

10. ‘You know, there’s a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don’t all bring you lasagne at work. Most of ’em just cheat on you.’ – Silent Bob’s words of wisdom to Dante (Clerks)

11. ‘Empire Strikes Back had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader’s his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that’s what life is, a series of down endings. All Return of the Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.’ – Dante on the Star Wars franchise (Clerks)

12. ‘Duh. You know how every girl’s parents put a pussy troll in them when the girls are young, to keep them from having premarital sex? Well Myra’s is named Pillow Pants. And so even though she totally wants to have sex with me, Myra says if I put my… thing in her, Pillow Pants will bite it off. So, I gotta wait until Pillow Pants gets peed out of her body on her 21st birthday before we can have sex.’ – Elias on why he can’t have sex with his girlfriend (Clerks 2)

13. ‘Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Dante Hicks is just like you. He lurves grape soda. He knows what it’s like when the guy at the supermarket won’t take your “food stamps”. Or how it feels to wait all month for your “welfare check”.’ – Randal trying to get a jury of African Americans on his side (Clerks: The Animated Series)

14. ‘What’s the point in having an internet connection if you’re not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you’ll never have yourself?’ – Randal on the purpose of the internet (Clerks 2)

15. ‘My mom’s been fuckin’ a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad.’ – Randal trying to console Dante after discovering his ex-girlfriend has died (Clerks)