Martog: Worf, I guess I owe you 100 credits. You were right, the humans would fall for whatever torturous ideas we came up with if we claimed they were Klingon traditions!

Quark: Okay, Captain, I'll get out of here, but trust me, you'll regret not going with the new lighting scheme my source, J'jabrams is selling. I'm close to selling Starfleet on it. It's an alternate reality Starfleet, but their money still spends like ours!

Sisko: You do know that is the Earth symbol used by adolescents for centuries to signify how much you love me, right?

Sisko: I still can't believe that Changeling porn exists, let alone that Quark has some.

Worf: I am honored that you would choose to be a part of this ceremony. Now, we will begin the ritual dance party. Computer, activate playlist: "Disco 1."

Captains Log: Quark recording. After taking control of Deep Space Nine, as part of his plan to retake DS9, Sisko has taken over the bar and is serving Creole food. This will be my last entry as Captain. Dangit.

Dukat: Think of the good times, Benjamin. Like Season 2!

Sisko: When you tried to extort a Cardassian Politician by using his long lost son as leverage?

Dukat: Bad example, Season 3!

Sisko: When you were willing to let DS9 explode if Kira didn't agree to let you put Cardassian troops on the station?

Dukat: Well, I'm hosed.

Female Changeling: ...And as a final punishment, we have given you extreme acne.

Sisko: ... As you can see, the dance floor is located in the inner chamber. Transporters can not penetrate the shielding, so we'll need bribe money to get us past the bouncer.

WORF: We now begin the ritual drinking of Koraba Blood, which is poisonous to all races except Klingons.
SISKO: What?! I mean...yeah, let's do it.
WORF: ...Seriously? Well, umm...okay. There is honor in abject stupidity.

ROM: You know brother, I'm starting to think that cheating everybody as much as possible is not profitable in the long term, and we'd actually make more money if we honored contracts and made people trust us a little more.
QUARK: Putting good business sense before profit? And you call yourself a Farengi.

SISKO: Why are you here Dukat?
DUKAT: What? Can't a guy just stop buy and let his friends know how much better he is than everyone?

``Just hold on a few more minutes, we'll grow your feathers in and you'll make a fantastic turkey.''
``What?''

``And, Sisko, as you see on our genetic scan --- ''
``Wait, this isn't a genetic scan, this is the emergency exits for the library tower.''
``Um … look over there, a big distracting thing!'' [ Running away. ]

Bashir: Y'know, Miles, it was way more interesting when we did this on Kirk's Enterprise...

Rom: Look, brother! Kayla and Charles are finally getting back together. They've been through so much!
Quark: Either turn the channel, or give me that remote!

Sisko was getting uncomfortable with Dukat's increasingly blatant attempts to get Sisko to look at his crotch.

Female Changeling: He's dead.
Bashir: One body and three suspects, on an island only 10 square metres large. What do you think, Captain?
Sisko: What the hell, Doctor? Who do I look like to you, Shaft?!

Sisko: ... and the treasure is believed to be at the bottom of this large underground tomb.
Weyoun: I'm not going to like this, am I?
Sisko: No. And for the rest of this mission, your name is 'Short Round'.

Sisko: What is it?Weyoun: Plans for growing...me! Just imagine, captain, your own private Weyoun! A clone of your own, to see to your every need.Sisko: A punching bag. It has possibilities.Weyoun: I was hoping you'd think 'butler'.