This Sunday will be Neil Patrick Harris’ first time hosting the Oscars. Can you believe it? He’s practically hosted every other awards show (from the Tonys to the Emmys), but now he’s in the big leagues – among such iconic hosts as Bob Hope, Johnny Carson, and…Donald Duck? Yep, that’s right. The animated cartoon character actually co-hosted the ceremony back in 1958. We’re just glad we weren’t alive to witness that. But we’ve witnessed our fair share of other hosts, from bad to good. Allow us to rank them for you.
10. Anne Hathway &amp; James Franco (2011)
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Everyone was left scratching their heads when this hosting duo was announced, and Anne and James didn’t do much to allay people’s concerns. Anne tried way too hard, and James just didn’t try enough, resulting in a disastrous show that likely solidified the notion that producers should stick to comedians for the job.
9. Hugh Jackman (2009)
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Sorry, Jackman. You’re a lovely singer and dancer, but this ain’t the Tonys. It was too much Broadway flair and not enough jokes.
8. David Letterman (1995)
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It was the “Oprah, Uma” gag that did him in. It just went on for way too long, and Hollywood was not amused.
7. Seth MacFarlane (2013)
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The Family Guy creator was an odd choice simply because we don’t see him in front of the camera much. He took risks with some edgier jokes (Such as: "['Django Unchained'] is the story of a man fighting to get back his woman, who's been subjected to unthinkable violence. Or as Chris Brown and Rihanna call it, a date movie.") and received a mixed response from critics.
6. Billy Crystal (1990 - 1993, 1997, 1998, 2000, 2004, 2012)
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He’s hosted a TON of times (9 to be exact), with varying degrees of success. The best part is whenever he inserts himself into the Oscar-nominated films. But when they brought him back to host the 2012 awards after Eddie Murphy dropped out, we sort of felt like he was the “safe” choice. He did play it safe, and in effect, the show was a bit boring.
5. Whoopi Goldberg (1994, 1996, 1999, 2002)
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Remember when she appeared on stage in full Queen Elizabeth I regalia? She really went for it and nailed it.
4. Chris Rock (2005)
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When he hosted, they had the telecast run on a 7-second delay – just in case. We know at least one person wasn’t a fan. After Chris made a joke about Jude Law, a humorless Sean Penn took the stage to criticize the comedian, calling Jude one of the industry’s “finest actors.” At least Chris stayed true to his own boisterous style.
3. Steve Martin &amp; Alec Baldwin (2010)
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Ok, so the pairing may have just been because they had recently starred in a movie together (It’s Complicated), but these two proved to complement each other quite nicely. Steve is a veteran host and knows how to work the room, and Alec is just naturally funny. They're no Tina and Amy, though...
2. Jon Stewart (2002, 2006)
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The things about Jon Stewart is that he’s smart. Very smart. He deftly balanced the political jokes with his hilarious insights on Hollywood and we were thoroughly entertained. Maybe now that he's retiring from The Daily Show, it'll free him up to host more awards shows.
1. Ellen DeGeneres (2007, 2014)
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Nevermind the fact that she took that epic celebrity selfie, she brought PIZZA for everyone last year. Hands down the best.
Who was YOUR favorite Oscar host? Tell us on Twitter!
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In honor of the show’s 40th anniversary, we’re taking a look back at some of our favorite Saturday Night Live hosts of all time. Whether they’ve hosted a whopping 16 times (Alec Baldwin) or inexplicably only hosted once (Neil Patrick Harris), they’ve kept us watching over the years. Because when SNL gets the host right, it’s a fun Saturday night.
Justin Timberlake
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Justin has hosted five times, officially placing him in the five-timers clubs of SNL hosts. He’s almost like an alternate cast member at this point. And it’s no wonder, he’s participated in some of the most memorable sketches the show has seen in the past 10 years. D*ck in a box, anyone?
Alec Baldwin
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He’s hosted the most times out of anyone in SNL history. That’s saying something. His first appearance was in 1990 and his most recent one was in 2011. We think he’s due for another.
Jon Hamm
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We love that Jon Hamm is undercover funny. If you watched him as the tortured Don Draper on Mad Men, you’d never know he had a hidden funny bone. Thank God for SNL. Sketches like “Jon Hamm’s John Ham” and his role as Sergio the sexy saxophonist were all we hoped for and more.
Andrew Garfield
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To be honest, we didn’t think Andrew Garfield could be funny. But his spot on Justin Timberlake impersonation proved us wrong.
Anna Kendrick
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This girl was a natural. Her comedic timing was spot on and she played a fantastic pop song-singing Ariel.
Neil Patrick Harris
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He literally hosts everything else (the Tonys, the Emmys, and now the Oscars), so we’re a little surprised that he’s only hosted SNL once. Hopefully when he’s done hosting every other awards show known to man, he can come back and do some more hilarious sketches.
Drew Barrymore
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Ok, we have to give it up for Drew Barrymore because she was the youngest host of SNL ever. She first hosted the show when she was 7 years old! She’s hosted it five other times since.
Tina Fey
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We always love when former cast members come back to host, because you know it'll be good. Tina Fey was no exception. Her spoof of Girls just reminded us how much we miss her SNL contributions.
Christopher Walken
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You know what SNL needs? More cowbell! Also, more Christopher Walken.
Ben Affleck
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Ben Affleck is also a five-timer, so you know he must be doing something right. His most recent appearance was in 2013, and his wife Jennifer Garner made a cameo during his monologue.
Who do YOU think are the best SNL hosts of all time? Tell us on Twitter!
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AMC
Ever since Mad Men debuted on AMC in 2007, the 1960s has been as integral a part of the show as John Hamm's shadowy and conflicted Don Draper. Both because the characters react to what would've been happening in the real world at the time as well as the embrace of the style and swagger of the early '60s — when cocktail hour was as important to business as having a good steno pool. These elements have helped to define the series' look and feel.
Mad Men does perhaps as good a job as any show ever in recreating a very specific period in American history, delving into storylines that don’t try to shy away from the social norms of New York during that time, which would include a lot of smoking and drinking to go along with institutional sexism and racism. The show also impeccably recreates the '60s fashion trends, lending an air of authenticity to what we're watching. (The writers occasionally slip with business phrases that are more '80s than '60s, but why quibble?)
Because it was such a defining decade in the history of the country, the '60s have been used as a backdrop for any number of series over the years. The Playboy Club and Pan Am both tried unsuccessfully to match the feel of Mad Men, and both suffered in comparison lasting for just a season each. So, what other shows besides Mad Men have done a good job of capturing the era of Vietnam, Kennedy, and the Beatles?
China Beach
The drama set at a Vietnam military medical way-station earned a Best Drama Golden Globe and Emmys for acting for Dana Delany and Marg Helgenberger. While another series at roughly the same time — Tour of Duty — was covering the combat aspect of the Vietnam War, China Beach excelled at showing the human side of the war, as characters mourned those that were lost and reacted to news that they received from back in the States. The show attempted to comment on how the war affected more than just the people fighting it, and even occasionally showed real interviews with people who had been at the real China Beach.
The Wonder Years
There might have been no greater change during the '60s than the dynamic within suburban families, and The Wonder Years showcased that. While at heart it was just a family sitcom with panache for melodrama, it did a wonderful job of both showing the frustration of the parents over the changing times and the confusion mixed with optimism of the children. Fred Savage's Kevin dealt with normal early teen issues, but one of his friends (Danica McKellar's Winnie) had a brother who was killed in Vietnam, and his sister (Olivia d'Abo) was more interested in protesting the war than in listening to their parents. The show moved into the '70s as it went along, but the first couple of seasons showed a slice of '60s suburbia that no one else has quite captured before or since.
Laverne and Shirley/Happy Days
Both sitcoms began in the late '50s before migrating into the '60s (Happy Days by the sixth season and Laverne and Shirley by its third… although, really, each frequently had trouble deciding which decade they were in at any given time). Garry Marshall's pair of sitcoms never pretended to be an actual historical representation of the times that they were set in, but both managed to capture the vibe that American Graffiti —set in 1962 — had previously… namely in the optimism of young adults at the beginning of Kennedy's America. Neither show was trying to do much more than make people laugh, but thanks to the music that was employed throughout the runs of both shows they each managed to do it just the same. Of course, if you want us to try and explain why Scott Baio's Chachi had a very '70s blown-dried and feathered haircut for much of Happy Days' '60s years… well, you've got us there.
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AMC
Mad Men is one of those shows that takes very little improving – it's basically flawless. That said, here's a little list of things we think could make Season 7 the season to end all seasons:
More Joan
Last season did not have nearly enough of Joan. How I wish all of the time we wasted on Sylvia Rosen's angst was spent on Joan instead. We never even got to see the moment that she successfully closed the deal with Avon! Though, presumably, with Avon as one of Sterling Cooper and Partner's biggest accounts, we'll be seeing a lot more of her.
Less Betty
Let's take all of Betty's screentime and donate it to the Joan Harris-Holloway fund. January Jones can be a real emotionless wooden plank sometimes, and on a show with such phenomenal performers, why give the time to her?
More Ginsberg
So, Ginsberg seemed to be slowly but surely losing it last season (what was with the Martian transmissions?). Unfortunately, everybody was too caught up trying to figure out who the heck Bob Benson was, so we lost out on some good Ginsberg screentime too.
More Don + Roger
Okay, let's be real: their chemistry is off the charts. Last season, we got shorted on Roger/Don scenes, as Don was busy drinking himself out of his senior partner position (no mean feat, when you think about it). But they did share a nice moment in the finale – even as they put him on forced leave, Roger looks remorseful (as remorseful as Roger can get, at least) as he utters the infamous "You s**t the bed in there" line.
More Peggy + Don
No, not that kind of "Peggy and Don." I ship a lot of pairings, but Peggy and Don are not one of them (though apparently, the real people they were based off of got married). That said, like Don and Roger, they have wonderful (platonic) chemistry. "The Suitcase" remains one of my favorite episodes, and their ultra-emotional goodbye at the end of season 5 packed quite the wallop.
More Pete + Failure
Now, there's something I ship. Pete falling down the stairs in a fit of rage/crashing a Chevy/"Not great, BOB!" were all some of the best moments of last season. I'm not pulling for a Lane Pryce-style exit (too soon?), but there is something lovely about seeing smarmy Pete's life come crashing down around his ears (just like his hairline).
Peggy + an actually good love interest
I just want Peggy to be happy, okay? Let her make Ted Chaouoaough eat his heart out. Lots of people want her to end up with Stan, but I'm not sure how I feel about that. He definitely gives off some deviant vibes sometimes.
So there's what I want from Season 7 – mainly for Peggy to take over the world and to finally stop going after married men who are way beneath her league. What do you want? Share in the comments!
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Walt Disney Studios via Everett Collection
When Meryl Streep won the Screen Actors Guild award for Best Actress in 2009 for her performance in the film Doubt, she encouraged Hollywood executives to give her co-star and Best Supporting Actress nominee Viola Davis a substantial part in a future project. “My God, somebody give her a movie,” Streep exclaimed to the A-list audience in her acceptance speech.
At the time, Davis was mostly known for her theater work , but her scene-stealing performance in the Oscar-nominated Doubt was impossible to ignore. Despite Davis' memorable presence and Streep's special shout-out, however, Davis' talents have been wasted on small, unsubstantial roles in Hollywood films developed for bigger movie stars like Hugh Jackman and Julia Roberts. Five years later, the question remains: Where is Davis' movie?
With the exception of Doubt, Davis' only other juicy film role has been Aibileen Clark in The Help. Davis is fantastic in the film, and she rightfully earned her first Academy Award nomination for Best Actress (and wrongfully lost to Meryl Streep's cringe-worthy performance in The Iron Lady). However, critics were correct to acknowledge that The Help isn't exactly the kind of film black actresses are looking for. Melissa Harris-Perry, for example, claimed that The Help whitewashes history and perpetuates stereotypes the black community has been trying to move away from for years.
Perhaps the criticism would be less pronounced if Davis continued to star in major Hollywood films after The Help, but that hasn't been the case. Despite box office success and nominations from the major awards groups, Davis' association with The Help hasn't catapulted her to the movie star she deserves to be.
Of course there are many great actresses who never get their chance to shine, and there are just as many terrible actresses who get paid millions to open a film on 3,000 screens. That's the nature of a business that rewards popularity more than talent. However, Davis' case is unique precisely because when given her chance to carry a film as she does in The Help, she knocks it out of the park. She turns a potentially corny drama into a must-see cinematic event, and audiences around the world flocked to see her, despite the above criticisms.
I suspect that Davis is living comfortably and enjoying the success she's received thus far. She's probably just grateful to be a working actress. However, after seeing her be the best part of films that were made to be carried by millionaire movie stars like Roberts in Eat Pray Love and Jackman in Prisoners, it's infuriating to know that Davis hasn't been given the opportunity when so many other A-list movie stars are allowed to fail time and time again.
Whether this has to do with the racism of Hollywood or Davis' inept agent, I'm not sure, but it's about time that Davis gets the leading role she deserves.
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DreamWorks
For the bulk of every Rocky and Bullwinkle episode, moose and squirrel would engage in high concept escapades that satirized geopolitics, contemporary cinema, and the very fabrics of the human condition. With all of that to work with, there's no excuse for why the pair and their Soviet nemeses haven't gotten a decent movie adaptation. But the ingenious Mr. Peabody and his faithful boy Sherman are another story, intercut between Rocky and Bullwinkle segments to teach kids brief history lessons and toss in a nearly lethal dose of puns. Their stories and relationship were much simpler, which means that bringing their shtick to the big screen would entail a lot more invention — always risky when you're dealing with precious material.
For the most part, Mr. Peabody &amp; Sherman handles the regeneration of its heroes aptly, allowing for emotionally substance in their unique father-son relationship and all the difficulties inherent therein. The story is no subtle metaphor for the difficulties surrounding gay adoption, with society decreeing that a dog, no matter how hyper-intelligent, cannot be a suitable father. The central plot has Peabody hosting a party for a disapproving child services agent and the parents of a young girl with whom 7-year-old Sherman had a schoolyard spat, all in order to prove himself a suitable dad. Of course, the WABAC comes into play when the tots take it for a spin, forcing Peabody to rush to their rescue.
Getting down to personals, we also see the left brain-heavy Peabody struggle with being father Sherman deserves. The bulk of the emotional marks are hit as we learn just how much Peabody cares for Sherman, and just how hard it has been to accept that his only family is growing up and changing.
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But more successful than the new is the film's handling of the old — the material that Peabody and Sherman purists will adore. They travel back in time via the WABAC Machine to Ancient Egypt, the Renaissance, and the Trojan War, and 18th Century France, explaining the cultural backdrop and historical significance of the settings and characters they happen upon, all with that irreverent (but no longer racist) flare that the old cartoons enjoyed. And oh... the puns.
Mr. Peabody &amp; Sherman is a f**king treasure trove of some of the most amazingly bad puns in recent cinema. This effort alone will leave you in awe.
The film does unravel in its final act, bringing the science-fiction of time travel a little too close to the forefront and dropping the ball on a good deal of its emotional groundwork. What seemed to be substantial building blocks do not pay off in the way we might, as scholars of animated family cinema, have anticipated, leaving the movie with an unfinished feeling.
But all in all, it's a bright, compassionate, reasonably educational, and occasionally funny if not altogether worthy tribute to an old favorite. And since we don't have our own WABAC machine to return to a time of regularly scheduled Peabody and Sherman cartoons, this will do okay for now.
If nothing else, it's worth your time for the puns.
3/5
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AMC
Wednesday night treated America to President Barack Obama's fifth State of the Union address, a speech lined with criticism of our country's immigration system, economic policies, and established plans about how to move forward regarding the Middle East crisis. But towards the tail end of the speech, the Commander-in-Chief spouted a moment of levity, proving himself to be (at the very least) this generation's president when he tossed in a television reference. And no, not a square one, like Bush Sr.'s castigation of The Simpsons — Obama made a Mad Men joke.
"Today, women make up about half our workforce. But they still make 77 cents for every dollar a man earns. That is wrong, and in 2014, it's an embarrassment. A woman deserves equal pay for equal work," the president said. "She deserves to have a baby without sacrificing her job. A mother deserves a day off to care for a sick child or sick parent without running into hardship – and you know what, a father does, too. It's time to do away with workplace policies that belong in a Mad Men episode. This year, let’s all come together — Congress, the White House, and businesses from Wall Street to Main Street — to give every woman the opportunity she deserves. Because I firmly believe when women succeed, America succeeds."
The proclamation invoked a sweeping applause in house and throughout the country — there's nothing like a good new media allusion to drive home a point. But less is more, in this case. We have it on good (fake) authority that Obama had to edit out a few other television references from the first draft of his latest SOTU...
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- "Estiven Rodriguez couldn’t speak a word of English when he moved to New York City at age nine. But last month, thanks to the support of great teachers and an innovative tutoring program, he led a march of his classmates — through a crowd of cheering parents and neighbors — from their high school to the post office, where they mailed off their college applications. And this son of a factory worker just found out he’s going to college this fall. And if you think that's impressive, let me tell you about a simple chemistry teacher who turned himself into a billionaire by pioneering his own crystal meth empire..."
- "Today in America ... a farmer prepared for the spring after the strongest five-year stretch of farm exports in our history. A rural doctor gave a young child the first prescription to treat asthma that his mother could afford. A man took the bus home from the graveyard shift, bone-tired but dreaming big dreams for his son. And in tight-knit communities across America, fathers and mothers will tuck in their kids, put an arm around their spouse, remember fallen comrades, and give thanks for being home from a war that, after 12 long years, is finally coming to an end... just like How I Met Your Mother. Thank God, am I right? Seriously, that show feels like it's been on forever. Come on, Ted, finish the story already."
- "Today, after four years of economic growth, corporate profits and stock prices have rarely been higher, and those at the top have never done better. But average wages have barely budged. Inequality has deepened. Upward mobility has stalled. The cold, hard fact is that even in the midst of recovery, too many Americans are working more than ever just to get by – let alone get ahead. And too many still aren't working at all. I mean, look at Marnie. She can't even hold a job at Ray's coffee shop — and no, Boehner, it doesn't count as a spoiler if it's been 48 hours since the episode aired!"
- "Tonight, I ask every business leader in America to join us and to do the same — because we are stronger when America fields a full team. Even if you get a lousy draft, you can always propose an eight-way trade. That's what Ruxin has taught us."
- "These negotiations will be difficult. They may not succeed. We are clear-eyed about Iran’s support for terrorist organizations like Hezbollah, which threaten our allies; and the mistrust between our nations cannot be wished away. But these negotiations do not rely on trust; any long-term deal we agree to must be based on verifiable action that convinces us and the international community that Iran is not building a nuclear bomb. If John F. Kennedy and Ronald Reagan could negotiate with the Soviet Union, then surely a strong and confident America can negotiate with less powerful adversaries today. And if Francis Underwood can convince all of those people to keep their mouths shut about that murder... dammit, Boehner, it's been like a year, catch up already!"
- "What Andra and her employees experienced is how it should be for every employer — and every job seeker. So tonight, I’ve asked Vice President Biden to lead an across-the-board reform of America’s training programs to make sure they have one mission: train Americans with the skills employers need, and match them to good jobs that need to be filled right now. Like spying, and killing, and planting bugs in Senators' offices in the name of Mother Russia ... you guys get it? That's a The Americans joke. Because I said "Americans." They're spies. You guys watch that show? No? It's pretty good."
- "My fellow Americans, no other country in the world does what we do. On every issue, the world turns to us, not simply because of the size of our economy or our military might — but because of the ideals we stand for, and the burdens we bear to advance them. And that's why we are the most a-mah-zing country in the world ... God, I miss Happy Endings."
If only...
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WENNThe BRIT Awards may no longer be the must-see event it was in the 90s, but it's still by far the British music industry's biggest night. Here's a look at the list of this year's nominees and the acts who should perhaps start preparing their acceptance speeches ready for February 19. British Male Solo ArtistDavid Bowie, Jake Bugg, James Blake, John Newman, Tom OdellConsidering the BRITs' reputation for awarding sales over talent, it's surprising but pleasing to see that both Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams have been snubbed here. The panel may want to justify giving New Boring singer-songwriter Tom Odell the Critics Choice award last year, but there would surely be an outcry if David Bowie didn't get the sentimental vote and pick up his first BRIT in nearly 30 years.Who Will Win: David BowieWho Should Win: David BowieBritish Female Solo ArtistBirdy, Ellie Goulding, Jessie J, Laura Marling, Laura MvulaLaura Marling surprised everyone by pipping Ellie Goulding to this award in 2011 but considering the latter's triumphant twelve months, it's difficult to see her doing the same this year. Just as long as the caterwauling Jessie J doesn’t get her hands on it.Who Will Win: Ellie GouldingWho Should Win: Laura MvulaBritish GroupArctic Monkeys, Bastille, Disclosure, One Direction, RudimentalIt’s encouraging to see the BRITs recognise two of the year's best commercial dance acts in this category, but British Group almost always goes to a guitar band so Arctic Monkeys are almost certain to add to their tally of five.Who Will Win: Arctic MonkeysWho Should Win: DisclosureBritish Breakthrough ActBastille, Disclosure, Laura Mvula, London Grammar, Tom OdellLondon Grammar produced one of the most beautiful albums of last year with If You Wait but as this award is voted for by listeners of Radio 1, it will inevitably go to the act with the biggest fan base. Step forward the unfathomably successful Bastille.Who Will Win: Bastille Who Should Win: London GrammarBritish SingleBastille ("Pompeii"), Calvin Harris ("I Need Your Love"), Disclosure ("White Noise"), Ellie Goulding ("Burn"), John Newman ("Love Me Again"), Naughty Boy ("La La La"), One Direction ("One Way Or Another/Teenage Kicks"), Passenger ("Let Her Go"), Rudimental ("Waiting All Night")Bar Passenger's contrived snoozefest, this isn't a bad list of the best-selling singles of the last year. Again voted for by the public, One Direction will inevitably walk away with the award. But it's a shame that it'll be for their karaoke mash-up of Blondie's "One Way Or Another"/The Undertones' "Teenage Kicks" rather than the far superior "Story Of My Life."Who Will Win: One DirectionWho Should Win: Naughty BoyBritish Album of the YearArctic Monkeys (AM), Bastille (Bad Blood), David Bowie (The Next Day), Disclosure (Settle), Rudimental (Home)A welcome departure from the bombastic EDM favoured by the likes of Guetta et al, Disclosure's Settle was the album that 2013 needed. But following the return-to-form of AM, BRITs favorites Arctic Monkeys will probably pick up the second and arguably the most coveted award of the night.Who Will Win: Arctic MonkeysWho Should Win: DisclosureInternational Male Solo ArtistBruno Mars, Drake, Eminem, John Grant, Justin TimberlakePossibly the biggest snub of the awards is the lack of Kanye West, who like his former touring partner Jay-Z, has been entirely ignored in favour of Justin Timberlake's two bloated and self-indulgent comeback albums and Eminem's regressive Marshall Mathers sequel. More encouraging is this year's most leftfield nominee John Grant, but with Bruno Mars set to perform on the night, this category will only go one way.Who Will Win: Bruno MarsWho Should Win: John GrantInternational Female Solo ArtistJanelle Monae, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Lorde, PinkSuggesting the BRITs panel aren't too keen on the whole twerking phenomenon, Miley Cyrus is another major omission here. Lorde might be worth an outside bet but currently the most bankable pop star on the planet, Katy Perry will probably reign supreme.Who Will Win: Katy PerryWho Should Win: Janelle MonaeInternational GroupArcade Fire, Daft Punk, Haim, Kings Of Leon, Macklemore &amp; Ryan LewisIf there was an award for Best International Single, Daft Punk would run away with it. But despite the mixed reaction to their last album, the BRITs are more likely to favour Kings of Leon than any of the more adventurous names on the list.Who Will Win: Kings Of LeonWho Should Win: Haim
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Universal via Everett Collection
Every movie I saw in 2013, ranked from worst to best:
112. IDENTITY THIEFThe first comedy movie to not make me laugh once.
111. SAVING MR. BANKSInsulting, manipulative, dishonest, and unkind, with occasional song breaks.
110. SCARY MOVIE 5These movies have gotten much worse since we were 13.
109. GETAWAYINT. RACECAR. NIGHT. Ethan Hawke and Selena Gomez crash into stuff.
108. GROWN UPS 2So much vomiting, so many homophobic jokes, so little plot.
107. I GIVE IT A YEARAn ugly, loveless rom-com that isn't clever enough to be satire.
106. DEAD MAN DOWNAll I remember is a whole lot of dark alleyways.
105. A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE MIND OF CHARLES SWAN IIIThe best part is the closing credits (I'm not being flip, they're actually kind of fun).
104. MOVIE 43Bad offensive joke after bad offensive joke after bad offensive joke...
103. WINNIE MANDELADesperately important story turned into a desperately dull movie.
102. TWICE BORNNo summary available due to lack of anything interesting happening in this movie.
101. R.I.P.D.Somebody forgot to give Ryan Reynolds any jokes.
New Line Cinema via Everett Collection
100. THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONEThis movie could have been funny if Wonderstone wasn't such a d**k.
99. ONLY GOD FORGIVESInteresting in the moments when it's not shoving its unpleasantness down your throat.
98. MAN OF STEELSetup: cerebral reinvention of Superman. Payoff: mass property damage.
97. CARRIEBeat-by-beat remake without any of the original's spirit.
96. THE TO DO LISTUncomfortably raunchy and mean. Thank God for Bill Hader.
95. KICK-ASS 2More Mean Girls shtick would have benefited this weak sequel.
94. PHANTOMI'm not sure this was actually a finished movie.
93. WRONGObnoxiously nonsensical, but not without its share of laughs.
92. THE SMURFS 2Mostly cloying, but Neil Patrick Harris is incurably watchable.
91. HANSEL &amp; GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS Dumb.
90. JOBSBoring.
89. NOW YOU SEE MEPossibly the worst ending in a 2013 movie, but a few bits of fun along the way.
88. WE'RE THE MILLERS[Pop culture reference]
87. RED 2John Malkovich's facial contortions save this from total failure.
86. STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS It hsa a few pros, but is mostly one giant... well, you know.
85. RIDDICKSurprisingly intriguing, when it isn't being deplorably sexist.
84. FREE BIRDSEh, turkeys are kinda funny.
83. PRISONERS Thankfully, scenes of Hugh Jackman yelling are intercut with the far superior scenes of Jake Gyllenhaal yelling.
82. WHITE REINDEER Any minute now, this movie is going to reveal its inner glory! Any minute now!
81. EVIL DEAD A better horror flick than the original! But still mostly forgettable.
Vertical Entertainment
80. GBFMostly charming, undone by its "safe" and "classy" ending.
79. THE RELUCTANT FUNDAMENTALISTIt's kind of hard to get past how boring the title is.
78. DESPICABLE ME 2 Lots of minions. People like minions, right?
77. JOHN DIES AT THE END Not nearly as weird as it thinks it is or wants to be.
76. 2 GUNSHey, wait a minute, this movie is kinda funny! ... Not that funny, but kinda.
75. SOMEBODY UP THERE LIKES MEI like to call this movie Click Offerman.
74. WHITE HOUSE DOWNWould be more fun if we were ready to laugh about terrorism.
73. AT ANY PRICEBoooriii— HOLY S**T WHERE THE F**K DID THAT COME FROM?!
72. BAD MILONot quite up to par with your expectations for the "Ken Marino has a demon in his butt" synopsis.
71. MONSTERS UNIVERSITYLackluster prequel, nice to look at, big band music.
70. THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES In its audacity, this silly amalgam of YA tropes can actually be a lot of fun.
69. THE CONJURING Fascinating subplots about the exorcism industry would be better served at the head of the film.
68. PEEPLESThere's a joke about wristwatches that I still think about.
67. SIDE EFFECTSSoderbergh's farewell caper doesn't have as much fun as its loony plot would demand.
66. ELYSIUMBroad and clumsy, but how wrong can you go with Bald Matt Damon?
65. OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFULIt works with Dark Side of the Moon.
64. THE COUNSELORThe book was better. Wait, this wasn't a book? Well it should have been.
63. IN A WORLD...A fun, biting look at an unappreciated industry! ... until it dissolves into mild genericism.
62. THE LONE RANGER Oh come on, you didn't love the William Tell climax?
61. THE WOLVERINENot always engaging, but at least it's about something.
Summit Entertainment via Everett Collection
60. WARM BODIESNot really about anything, but at least it's engaging.
59. THE BROKEN CIRCLE BREAKDOWNUndeniably powerful, but feels like it could use a few more revisions.
58. ENDER'S GAMESpace Camp: The Movie! (Slightly less expensive than actual space camp.)
57. PACIFIC RIMMonsters vs. robots aside, there's a riveting world constructed in the backdrop of this sci-fi epic.
56. ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUESThe battle royale does not disappoint.
55. YOU'RE NEXTThe fun, swift hook isn't nearly as interesting as the great character work that it replaces.
54. THE WAY WAY BACKI, too, long to get life advice from a waterpark-dwelling Sam Rockwell.
53. SOME VELVET MORNINGEven if you see the twist coming, the chemistry here is impeccable.
52. THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIREShut up, Peeta, I'm trying to watch all the good parts of this movie.
51. 20 FEET FROM STARDOMA story that deserves a little more spirit and energy than it is given in this documentary.
50. DON JONNo. 50 on "Best Movies" list, No. 1 on "Best Trailers."
49. THE ROCKETA feel-good kids' adventure substantiated by the gravities of war. Wins in both areas.
48. CRYSTAL FAIRY &amp; THE MAGICAL CACTUS AND 2012Beautifully shot, interestingly written, impressively acted.
47. MUD Yes, we all loved The Goonies, and we all loved David Wooderson, so...
46. CUTIE AND THE BOXER A vivid struggle that is equal parts artistically, martially, and internally based. Engrossing all the way.
45. CAPTAIN PHILLIPS Tom Hanks' best performance in ages in a dramatic thriller that feels real (for obvious reasons).
44. THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG As a Legend of Zelda fan, this movie's world awakened something in me.
43. FRUITVALE STATIONThis character story is at odds with its out-universe goal, but Michael B. Jordan is unforgettable.
42. BEFORE MIDNIGHTI'm still not sure how I feel about that ending, but it was good to catch up wit Jesse and Celine.
41. DARK TOUCHEverything that Carrie could have been. A shocking fantasy about human pains.
Walt Disney Co via Everett Collection
40. THOR: THE DARK WORLDMore Chris O'Dowd.
39. BLUE IS THE WARMEST COLORIntellectually stimulating, but doesn't hit all its emotional marks.
38. THE WORLD'S ENDI've been saying "Gooey Wooey Egg Man" for months.
37. THE GREAT GATSBYLights! Music! Pizzazz! Moxy! The bee's knees! The cat's pajamas!
36. ENOUGH SAIDBest TV drama's male lead + best TV comedy's female lead = quite a charming romantic dramedy.
35. SIGHTSEERSWell, this is rather amusi— HOLY S**T WHERE THE F**K DID THAT COME FROM?!
34. THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINESNot sure if the "three stories" approach makes for the most powerful character work, but it's an enchanting ride.
33. THE WE AND THE I A bus full of inner-city high school kids turns into a magical kingdom thanks to Gondry's dreamy edge.
32. NEWLYWEEDSA love triangle with marijuana as the third party. Weighty, but never overly so, and funny throughout.
31. GRAVITY. . .
30. PRINCE AVALANCHE Heh heh, look at Paul Rudd's mustache.
29. THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Yes, we all loved the 'ludes scene. Very, very much.
28. ALL IS LOSTRobert Redford, you still got that same oomph. You too, ocean.
27. SAVING LINCOLN The weirdest, goofiest, funniest biopic about Abraham Lincoln ever.
26. THE KINGS OF SUMMER Kids run away, live in the woods, grow up, make jokes. Always a charming endeavor.
25. AMERICAN HUSTLE Little more than a cartoon, but an emotionally explosive and riotous one at that.
24. THE HEAT Melissa McCarthy insisting on stepping out of a moving car earns a full five minutes of laughter alone.
23. DRINKING BUDDIESNever dips too low on the emotional spectrum, but stays real and fresh in the face of the rom-com genre.
22. UPSTREAM COLORA difficult, confusing, harrowing thinker.
21. STOKER Somehow both effectively haunting and deliciously fun.
Room 237: the movie/Facebook
20. ROOM 237 Less a doting tribute to The Shining or Kubrick than it is to movie-lovers and their bottomless well of theories.
19. BLUE JASMINE Each party fires on all cylinders in Woody Allen's Streetcar gem, Sally Hawkins especially.
18. S#X ACTSThe sadness of this story of our youth's desperate obsession with and reliance on sex is its authenticity.
17. IRON MAN 3 The first true action comedy in Marvel's line of films shows how much fun superhero movies can really be.
16. ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW Take notes, John Dies at the End. THIS is one weird f**king movie.
15. NEBRASKA Father vs. son, past vs. present, dreams vs. reality. Everything here is touching, funny, and inviting.
14. PAIN &amp; GAIN Michael Bay talks a long, hard look in the mirror with this biting send-up of everything his other movies represent.
13. THIS IS THE ENDFar more interesting and insightful than it will get credit for being, This Is the End uses a literal apocalypse and no dearth of d**k jokes to deconstruct tenets of friendship and social politics.
12. THE ACT OF KILLING While this documentary would benefit from restructuring, the power of its message (especially its final few monents, not to mention the "anonymous"-heavy credits) is painfully resonant.
11. FROZENOffering the magic and whimsy you'll remember from time-honored Disney classics, but so much more in the way of its message, Frozen might very well be the most magnificent and meaningful animated feature yet to spring from Walt's legacy.
10. COMPUTER CHESSIt doesn't have much to say about the human condition (beyond maybe highlighting our propensity for arrogance and self-directed delusion). It doesn't tell a story that'll stick with you for very long. But Computer Chess reigns supreme as, far and away, the funniest movie of 2013.
9. SPRING BREAKERS A dark, wicked, wholly upsetting reflection of the toxic direction in which we might be headed. And James Franco gives a tour-de-force of a performance with his demonic scoutmaster Alien.
8. IT'S A DISASTER An intelligent, meticulously directed farce about group politics and conflicting personal philosophies, executed to near perfection thanks to the rhythmic participation of a more than capable cast.
7. 12 YEARS A SLAVEAn unprecedented masterpiece that sings the traumas not only of Solomon Northrup, a free man captured and sold into slavery, but in his fellow sufferers as well. For my money, the true anchor of the story is in Lupita Nyong'o's Patsey, whose suffering is unlike anything we've seen managed on the big screen in years.
6. HER With so much to say about such tremendous topics, Her manages to still dive so deep into the heart of its story: the pangs of love in the wake of the inevitable fallibilities of romantic relationships. Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson alike give dynamic performances, and Spike Jonze mystifies us with his strange, cold, all-too-familiar world.
A24 via Everett Collection
5. THE SPECTACULAR NOWThis is one of those movies you try to convince yourself to inch out of your top 10, or five, for fear of being seen as juvenile. ButThe Spectacular Now hits such genuine notes with Miles Teller's Sutter, climaxing at a moment where you'll recognize an angst so true to life and so criminally absent from most movies about the journey toward self-love.
IFC Films
4. FRANCES HA Months and months after my first encounter with it, this deceptively simple film sticks in my head, reminding me that its every artful beat is riddled with emotional weight and ironic humor alike. Greta Gerwig and director Noah Baumbach give us the a New York movie to rival Annie Hall, zooming in and out of the perspective of the young women and men who occupy, and drown within, today's version of the biggest, most stupefying city in the world.
CBS Films
3. INSIDE LLEWYN DAVISSadness, coldness, loneliness, failure... such wonderful things when handled by filmmakers like the Coen Brothers. Padding this antithesis of triumph with some of the most beautiful, somber music you'll hear all year, Inside Llewyn Davis makes us fall in love all over again with the very idea of the artistic struggle.
Touchstone Pictures via Everett Collection
2. THE WIND RISESHayao Miyazaki's final movie doesn't pass judgment on its hero, a man so devoted to his work (building weapons) that he neglects his wife, sister, and friends. It doesn't endorse these choices either. Instead, it hones in on the passions of its hero/antihero, challenging us to sympathize with a fellow whose only desire is to do his job while we lament his sacrifices. More even than Gravity does the frequently airborne animated picture induce dizzy spells as we connect with the conglomerate of colorful, intriguing characters in this grim but dainty biography.
Cinedigm via Everett Collection
1. SHORT TERM 12 There are so few flaws to highlight in The Wind Rises, Inside Llewyn Davis, Frances Ha, and the other entries on this top 10 list. What separates Short Term 12 is not a complete lack of error, but in an umatched spirit for the telling of its story. The movie wants us to feel the pains of counselor Grace (Brie Larson) and the disavantaged children for whom she cares, highlighting abused Jayden (Kaitlyn Dever) and orphan Marcus (Keith Stanfield). It also wants us to feel the hope that it brings to these characters in their plight to overcome the hands they have been dealt. Every emotion in this movie carries through with such force. For those of us who know any of these trials personally, they ring tremendously true. For others, they work to invite you into this sad but hopeful world. We've been gifted with a ton of exemplary cinematic works this year, but nothing sticks with me more than this tearful, heartrending masterpiece.
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At some point during the filming of Downton Abbey, Julian Fellowes must have thought to himself, "You know, this whole aristocratic drama thing is going well for me, and I enjoy it, but it would be much better if there were some more explosions." And so, having made up his mind, he teamed with with writer and director Paul W. S. Anderson and created Pompeii, an epic love story between a slave and a wealthy merchant's daughter set against the backdrop of the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius that destroyed the city in 79 AD. It's got romance, it's got action, it's got explosions, and best of all, it's got Jon Snow himself, Kit Harington, as its star.
Pompeii follows Milo (Harington), a slave turned gladiator who must fight his way out of the arena in order to rescue his love, Cassia (Emily Browning), from the path of the volcano's destruction, and flee the city before it is completely destroyed by Mt. Vesuvius. Which means, of course, that their relationship faces not only societal obstacles, but an actual force of nature as well — suddenly the battle for an inheritance doesn't seem quite so exciting. The film also stars Kiefer Sutherland, Carrie-Ann Moss, and Mad Men's Jared Harris.
CBMTrailers/YouTube
Based on the trailer, it seems like Pompeii will be action-packed, and between the volcano, the gladiator's arena and the love story, it should have something to entice a varied audience, which will hopefully help the film to stand out from all of the other action films set in ancient times that will be hitting theaters around the same time. It's going to be tough for Pompeii to draw audiences away from 300: Rise of An Empire and Hercules, but hopefully the combination of a star from a beloved franchise and a script that's likely more sophisticated than most typical action films will help it. There's also a great deal of pressure on Harington to carry the film; it's his first starring role, and although he has a major part on Game of Thrones, there are plenty of other plot lines and characters there to keep the show from relying solely on him. If Pompeii is a success, Harington will be able to establish himself as a movie star, and considering how many characters have died on that show, that would probably be a good thing for him.
Pompeii will arrive in theaters on February 21, 2014.
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