"How Do You Survive a Predator Attack?" and Other Urgent Questions About Predators

In 1987, Predator, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger was released and became a box-office smash. Since then, three sequels were released that were not as well received. The new Predators, produced by Robert Rodriguez, tries to recapture the tone of the original film. Does it succeed? We try to answer every question you could possibly have about Predators.

Q: What are Predators?

A: They are space aliens that we first met in a Guatemalan jungle in the 1987 film, Predator, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger and his group of commandos are picked off, one by one, by the Predator, who we really don't get a good look at until the end.

Q: In 1987, did the Predator scare you?

A: A lot. I was 13 in 1987 and no movie scene freaked me out more that year (with the possible exception of Kirk Cameron as Dudley Moore's father in Like Father Like Son) than the Predator without his mask. Actually, they still scare me. I covered my eyes three times this week during Predators.

Q: What's the difference between Predator and Predators?

A: The new film title is plural, which is accurate. In the first film there is one Predator, in this version there are three. Also, the first film took place on Earth. Predators takes place on the Predators' planet.

Q: So it's like the sequel to Alien, Aliens?

A: To the extent that both titles are plural, then, yes, Predators is exactly like Aliens.

Q: If you were to be blurbed during the television spots for Predators, what do you think it will be?

A: "Predators is exactly like Aliens!" —Mike Ryan, Vanity Fair.

Q: How does one get to the Predators' planet?

A: It's not satisfactorily explained. But the human visitors are not really willing participants in their journey. The film opens with a pretty thrilling scene of Adrien Brody waking up while falling helplessly through the air as he tries to open a parachute.

Q: Do the group of humans that fell from the sky know each other?

A: No. They all mentioned blacking out at one point on Earth, and the next thing they know, they were all falling from the sky.

Q: How do they know they're not on Earth?

A: First, they notice that the sun never appears to move in the sky. Later they notice a gas giant planet lurking on the horizon. The closest gas giant to Earth is Jupiter, which is barely visible from Earth with the naked eye. Also, the Predator dogs clue them in.

Q: You mentioned three Predators. Are there's only three on this whole planet?

A: This isn't exactly explained, either. The type of Predator we know from the original film is actually a form of prey on this planet. There are three "Super Predators" that hunt the other, smaller, Predators, as well as the occasional human that falls from the sky.

Q: So, for all we know, there are these three renegade Predators and the rest of the planet may be filled with "everyday Joe" Predators that get up every morning and sit in a cubicle all day.

A: As far as we know, there may even be an "everday Joe" Predator, right now, writing a piece on a new movie that opens this weekend. The title of his piece could be "25 Questions You May Have About Ooman" (Yes, “Ooman” is Predator speak for human. And, yes, I had to look that up.)

Q: How many Oscar nominees or future state governors are in the original Predator?

A: Two.

Q: How many Oscar nominees or future state governors are in the new Predators?

A: Two.

Q: How does one survive an attack from a Predator?

A: The mortality rate of a Predator attack does seem to be closely correlated to future political aspirations and Oscar wins.

Q: Does Arnold Schwarzenegger make a cameo in Predators?

A: No, but he is mentioned by Isabelle (Alice Braga), who knows what the Predators are because she knows of the 1987 events that happened in Guatemala.

Q: How old was Alice Braga in 1987?

A: Four.

Q: What's the best part about Predators?

A: There are quite a few, actually. Predators, surprisingly, is a quite enjoyable film that feels a lot like the original. And Topher Grace's everyman comic relief is quite valuable in a movie so flooded with testosterone.

Q: What's the worst part about Predators?

A: A pointless and illogical twist at the end that doesn't really do much for the plot or affect the ending in any way.

Q: How many F. Scott Fitzgerald quotes are there in Predators?

A: Zero.

Q: How many Ernest Hemingway quotes are there in Predators?

A: One.

Q: Who would win a fight between three members of the original Predator team—Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Jesse Ventura—versus three members of the new team—Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne, and Topher Grace?

A: Well, that's a silly question. Obviously one team is at a disadvantage.

Q: Because of he physical stature of Topher Grace?

A: I was trying to think of something funny to write here about the age of the original three actors or something about Carl Weathers losing his hand in Happy Gilmore or being killed in Rocky IV—but, yes, because of the physical stature of Topher Grace.

Q: Hey, wait, you kind of make it sound like this is a direct sequel to Predator. Wasn't there a Predator 2, Alien vs. Predator, and Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem?

A: There is a large group of movies that I am vaguely aware of, but, for my own sanity, I choose to believe these are urban legends and not actual films. All three of those films fall into that category. I mean, really, the Predator fights the Alien from Alien? Why not next have him fight a Stormtrooper or Vinz Clortho, "The Keymaster" from Ghostbusters?

Q: What other movies fall into this category?

A: A few examples would be Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Mannequin Two: On the Move.

Q: Should I see Predators?

A: If you like the original, yes, you should see Predators.

Q: Are you sure that the reason that you like Predators isn't because it's not titled The Last Airbender?