New York City mayor Mike Bloomberg’s fascist zeal to regulate soft drinks and salt intake has likely resulted in him taking his eye off the ball of what really matters: reading scores and the homeless. While Bloomberg has yet to explain why reading scores in his city are such a disaster, he does have an oddball excuse for the record explosion in the homeless population: The wealthy.

No, really: “You can arrive in your private jet at Kennedy Airport, take a private limousine and go straight to the shelter system, walk in the door, and we’ve got to give you shelter,” the billionaire mayor fumed on his weekly WOR radio show. That’s what the law is. I didn’t write the law.”

Imagine it, scads of billionaires swooping into the Big Apple to belly up to the haute cuisine at New York City homeless shelters. Oh, the humanity!