That’s right, the Leafs are number one finally (as in best worst team). Too bad this ignominious ranking doesn’t come with a bonus, such as the first-overall draft pick.

The magazine ranks all of the teams in such categories as bang for the buck, fan relations, ownership, affordability, stadium experience, players, coaching and title track (number of championships won recently or in the future).

Now really, in which of those categories would the Leafs excel?

Their highest ranking is 104th (of 122 teams) in stadium experience. I guess the constant blaring of stale rock songs and outdated dance hits just didn’t impress the judges.

I guess the constant blaring of stale rock songs and outdated dance hits just didn’t impress the judges.

In the important bang for the buck and affordability index, the Leafs are dead last. But don’t tell that to shareholders, who have enjoyed a handsome return in recent years, despite the lack of title success. Leafs were only second last in that category: I guess you have to give them a tiny bit of credit for their 13 Stanley Cup wins. Columbus Blue Jackets were lower than Leafs in that category.

For the other Canadian NHL teams, here is how they ranked: Ottawa Senators 42nd, Winnipeg Jets 91st, Vancouver Canucks 92nd, Calgary Flames 106th, Montreal Canadiens 111th, Edmonton Oilers 114th. Ouch, guess the folks at ESPN didn’t much appreciate the quality of any Canadian hockey team.

What makes this listing a bit dubious is the sixth overall ranking of the Phoenix Coyotes!! Really? In bang for the buck and affordability, they are number two. Obviously the tickets are given away at deep discounts or how else do they hope to fill the arena in the desert?

Other Canadian franchises are also not highly ranked: the Toronto Blue Jays are 79th, with only the players category coming in at a decent 55th (Hello Jose Bautista); Toronto Raptors are just a bit more prestigious than fellow MLSEers the Leafs at 103rd, with only coaching getting a good mark.

ESPN The Magazine says Leafs are the worst of 122 "Big 4" pro sports teams. Good luck to ESPN The Magazine at the Brian Burke barn fight.