Central London Spruce-up. Advice needed.

Old-Salt

Since I was expunged from The Rag I have not done anything about joining a new club in the Smoke as I am seldom there.

I now find myself flying into LHR on the Far East red-eye arriving 06.30 with a meeting at lunchtime. After two months away I am in serious need of a haircut and a decent shave. Iâll be wanting a shower too, after mixing it with the various Janglies and other untermensch on Thai Air.

Old-Salt

Take a cab to the Strand, old boy, and kick any oik asleep in doorways and enquire as to the whereabouts of the nearest public sh1tter for a wee wash n brush up - if it's good enouh for Big Issue sellers, it's good enough for you!!!

LE

There are showers at Heathrow; alternatively, the Victory Services Club will usually provide a room to change in for minimal cost - or walk in, flash your FMOD90 at the porter, walk past reception and use the shared facilities on the first or second floor.

The VSC is within easy walking distance of Trumpers in Curzon Street; Jermyn Street is a little further but still walkable.