Shop Talk

Bob tells a bed time story

One night, Bob lays his children down for bed. It's 2am, and the kids have been tearing up the house since they got home early from school. They were "sick" and had to leave school to come home and run around screaming. Bob's biggest lament is that they ran in front of the TV while he was watching the game. It's ok though, as he threw beer cans at them until they moved. They wanted a story to help them calm down and go to sleep. So, Bob decided to tell them about the 3 little pigs and the big bad wolf. He began his story:

Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. They were all borthers who decided to build houses in a valley. One day, a big bad wolf came along, with a horrible appetite for little pigs. The first pig's house was made out of straw. The wolf knocked on his door. "Little pig, little pig, let me in!" The little pig replied, "Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!" So the wolf huffed, and puffed, and he blew the house down. The pig ran to his brother's house, which was made of wood, and hid inside. The same thing happened again. The wold huffed, and puffed, and blew the house down. The 2 little pigs ran to their older brother's house, which was made of bricks. They wan inside and the wolf came to the door. He knocked and yelled, "Little pigs! Little pigs! Let me in!" They replied, "Go away you wolf!" The wolf huffed, and puffed, and tried to blow the house down, but it wouldn't work. He went back to the second pig's house, which was now in ruins, and tried to fashion a battering ram, which quickly broke against the strong stone of the 3rd pig's house. So, the wolf got his friend's father's sister's friend's cousin's uncle's lawyer to sue the little pigs. Obviously their decision not to let the wolf in was based on race alone, so they were sued for racial discrimination. Of course, the wolf's lawyer won the case, and the wolf had a comfortable new brick home. The moral of the story, children, is that no matter what, you are always right.