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Happy Halloween…And Happy End of Bye Week

Until we have some actual Steelers-related things upon which to report, I’m just going to throw a few scary thoughts out there from the Week 8 games.

1. The Raiders set a record for the most penalty yards in a game, losing 200 of them, as well as additional declined penalties. And they still won. Derek Carr set a franchise record with over 500 yards, 4 touchdowns, no interceptions, tying him with one Ben Roethlisberger…

2. The Bengals were part of the second tie in the span of slightly under a week. This particular tie took place in London, so perhaps it doesn’t fully count, but considering how rare ties are, that’s kind of weird. Their record is now 3-4-1.3. The Browns are still winless. I would hate to be Hue Jackson right now, although at this point probably his best strategy is to lose out. It’s far more interesting and notable than going, say, 5-11 or 3-13, and maybe this time they will have the sense to keep the top pick and take a quarterback. Perhaps they should take several. They seem to run through them like used Kleenex.

4. Cam Newton is planning to talk to the head of officiating about the non-calls he gets for non-legal hits (or at least ones he doesn’t think are legal.) Perhaps he and Ben could start a class-action suit?

5. And speaking of the NFL (No Fun League,) they apparently are plenty busy with their flags elsewhere, as an official gave Earl Thomas of the Seahawks a 15-yard Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalty. Thomas’ transgression? Hugging the official after he recovered a fumble and ran it in for a touchdown. Thank heavens the official bravely protected us from such an unseemly sight. Or perhaps he was just wondering what Thomas was smoking?

And finally:

6. My official Kicker Watch has begun, as per Saturday’s article. There were no field goal attempts in Arizona’s 20-30 lost to Carolina, but kicker Chandler Catanzaro was perfect on his two extra point attempts. Meanwhile, in Seattle, Steven Hauschka made both field goal attempts and both extra point attempts. Stay tuned…

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2 comments

1. Chuck Noll spoke of the Raiders as part of the “criminal element” of the NFL. He got sued for that, and it kinda messed up the 1977 season. Homer doesn’t want to get sued, so he certainly won’t echo the late Emperor’s observation. Especially not where there’s a team down the river that wears prison stripes in the wrong direction.

2.Speaking of that team down the river, that was as unsatisfying a finish as I’ve ever seen. First, football that early on a Sunday morning is an abomination and a sin against God. Second, rooting against the Bengals put me in the uncomfortable position of having to root for a team own by the detestable Daniel M. Snyder. And yet, here were the Redskins, in overtime, on the Cincy 15 yard line. They ran a play to move the ball to the center of the field and brought in their kicker, Hopkins, for a game-winning field goal. It was the same distance as an extra point. The kick was good, and the game appeared to be over, except Marvin Lewis had called a time out to ice the kicker. Had to do it again. Shanked it to the left. D’oh!

3. The Browns game had a pre-game dumpster fire for the ages. Those poor souls in the dog pound have a three piece sign that is supposed to read “this is the Dawg Pound,” that they put over their heads and it looks like a Cleveland version of a halftime card show, or something like that. However, it seems the ghosts of all the Dead Cleveland Quarterbacks came back to haunt them, and they got the three pieces out of order. When they displayed the sign, it read “this is the G PO DAWUND” Factory of sadness, and futility, indeed. Of course, maybe it is the GPODAWUND, baby! Randy Newman was right: “Cleveland, city of light. City of Magic.”

4.Cam Newton is absolutely, totally right. And Ben is right there with them. The refs protect the pretty boys and the girly man quarterbacks, but not the guys who are 6’5″ and 240. The rules don’t apply to Cam or Ben. Carson Wentz, are you listening?

5.I actually agree completely with the refs throwing a flag on Earl Thomas for grabbing the ref and hugging him. In fact, he could have thrown him out of the game. It’s not that he almost went Full Donald Trump on the ref. It’s that you keep your hands off the officials at all time. That’s a clear red line that is NOT to be crossed.

6. As the weather gets worse, you will see more kickers missing extra points, and the head cases will become worse and worse.

Happy Monday everybody. It’s off to the dentist for a check up and teeth cleaning. That’s at least as much fun as watching the Washington Noble Savages and the Cincy Bungles play to a tie over tea and crumpets at Wimbledon or whatever.

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