This picturegraph is a picturegraphical representation of the solution to getting off one’s tits in TCC (The Current Climate). It’s Sainsberries’ latest addition to their Basics range, vodka.

*claps so hard falls of chair; gets back on; claps so hard falls off chair; gets back on; ad infinitum*

Now, normally, we’d never knowingly be seen within a mile – nautical or otherwise – of anything that comes from deep withinside a Sainsbury’s ‘Basics’ range. Tesco call theirs the ‘Value’ range. Iceland call theirs ‘everything you can see’. We just know that a certain someone with pallor and very severe vowels swore by the stuff and he’s since been removed not only from our Facebook ‘friends’ list but also from the employment of his company. The latter doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with us.

But Sainsberries’ Basics Vodka – six (oui, six!) English shiny golden coins for an entire Her Majesty’s litre – is quite the different matter. For ’tis booze of the see-through kind that when mixed with, say, a soda (three fresh limes) or a bitter lemon or champagne or guava, you can’t actually tell whether it’s Belvedere or metholated spirits, so what’s the Biggie Smalls?

We j’adore it so much, we’ve bought a job lot and lined them all up around the circumference of our orifice. It is our new skirting board.

You’ll also notice the big jock-off (jock-off? Don’t mind if we do) stamp on the Sainsbury’s Basics Vodka label that says, ‘For the UK market’. Ne’er has market research been so tip-top spot-on, madame. For we are a nation of piss heads, and so say all of us.