When I first started dating, I believed breakups were events where you had perfect clarity and confidence. I still believe that (mostly). It's the illusion that such clarity is achieved quickly and easily that's changed.

Distance sucks, but I treat my relationship as an utmost priority, the same way I treat everything else that matters most to me in life. Being busy is no excuse to bury your relationship on your priority list.

Take timeouts when you need to. Sometimes you can self-soothe on the spot. At other times, you may need to take a break from the interaction. And by all means, don't get down on yourself when you do get tripped up and act out. That's what "I'm sorry" is for.

A standard is a level of quality, something that is accepted as a norm, and generally used as a basis for judgment. An expectation is a strong belief that something is going to happen in the future, or a feeling that someone or something is going to achieve something.

If you ever talk over each other, if your discussions have a tendency to turn into arguments or if you feel you are not being heard, then the talking stick is an excellent way to communicate and can save enormous amounts of time, energy and heartache within your relationship.

For all of us still showing up to marriage class (some of us more prepared than others) taking tests, failing quizzes, learning new things or bored with the same old material, remember that as sure as the sun will set on this day, life is guaranteed to change.

The reasons we fall in love may be a mystery, but the reasons we stay in love are far less elusive. That is why this New Year's, I propose making a few resolutions about what we look for in a romantic relationship.