Submitting with love and loving to submit

Monthly Archives: November 2013

Last night, Sir and i were up really late. With Thanksgiving today, we didn’t have to get up early, and we’d gone out for a while with friends, so it was well after midnight before i crawled into bed.

Sir wasn’t far behind me, and i thought He was tired too, but before He got in bed, He tied my ankles together. THAT was a surprise. He told me i could wake Him up to untie me if i had to pee, and i said, “in the middle of the night?” and He said,

“Either that or i can get you a bucket.”

Quickly, i said, “i can wake you up, Sir.”

He got in bed, and as He curled up behind me, i thought we’d both fall asleep in a minute. But no. He began to pinch my nipple. The right nipple. Mmmmm. Mmmmm.

MMMMMM! He pinched soooo hard, just for a second, but omg! Left me breathless.

Then – let the games begin – he’s stroking and tugging, gently but firmly. “What do you think?” He says, “Should I pinch real hard again? What do you think?”

“What ~ um, what do i think, Sir? i think, um…” He is still stroking, same nipple, gently but with a hint of things to come… “i think, um, you should do what ever you want to do!” i say, a bit pleased with myself for coming up with that response.

He laughs, “Well, yeah, that’s right, but what do you think I’m going to do? Do you think I’m going to pinch real hard again, or not?”

“Do i think you’re going to? Um, i don’t ~ um ~ i don’t know.”

“Well, what do you think?” Stroking… tugging… i can feel the heat spreading to my pussy, with my legs tied together there’s friction on my clit and mmmmm, it feels so good… and He’s still tugging and pinching lightly.

“Yes, Sir,” i gasp, “i think you are going to.”

“You do?’

PINCH!!!

i’m laughing and gasping and ~ “Yes, Sir,” i say.

i settle down, and He keeps playing with my nipple and just as i’m getting all hot and squirmy again, He says, “Do you think I’m going to do it again?”

i hesitate, but as best i can figure this, there’s no advantage to me saying “no.” “Yes, Sir,” i say, “i think you’re gonna do it again.”

He pauses, He toys with me, He teases, and then ~

PINCH!!!!!

He does it again. O, o, o, o! It HURTS. But just for a second. Then, as i start feeling hot again, and close to an orgasm maybe He says, “Do you think I’m going to do it again?”

And i giggle, “Yes, Sir, yes, i do…” and He does and THEN

He says, “Would you like to suck my cock?” and i say, “YES, SIR,” with great enthusiasm. It was a long, lovely while before either of us got to sleep.

Today, as we were driving to our Thanksgiving event, He says, “You didn’t seem to have any trouble answering my question last night – about whether or not i was going to hurt your nipple again.”

“No, Sir,” i say. “i figured if i said “no,” that i didn’t think you would, you’d just see that as a challenge and do it anyhow. Didn’t seem much advantage to that.

“Hmmm,” He says, “I guess I was asking the wrong question. Next time, I guess I’ll ask you which nipple you think i’m going to do. Don’t you think that would be better?”

i’m halfway giggling, “i guess, Sir.”

He nods, “Yes, I think so, because you know, it’s like the Higgs boson – you know what they say about the Higgs bosun, right?”

i shake my head, no, i don’t know, i have no idea where He’s going with this..

“Well, they say you can predict either when it’s going to happen or where it’s going to happen, but not both. When OR where, not both. Just like nipples, right?” And He laughs.

Oh. Of course. Nipples ~ Higgs bosun ~ just alike.

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Hope everybody had a wonderful Thanksgiving. 🙂 i’m grateful for you, my dear friends in the blogosphere. You enrich my life in ways that i can’t even find words for. i’m so glad you’re there. Thank you.

i have definitely slept better the last couple of nights, and the butt-warming spanking i got warmed my heart as much as my other parts, so that was good.

Here’s an interesting survey on sexual fantasies. I found it through fetlife, so it’s not some goofy mainstream magazine version. It was kind of fun to take, so i thought you might want to check it out.

i’ve been dreadfully anxious with Sir lately, in vanilla kinds of ways. You know that anxiety we feel when they tell us to do something and we’re not sure what they want or what’s going to happen next and our hearts are pounding because we want to please but we’re not sure we’re going to? Yeah, that feeling.

Well, i’ve been feeling it about vanilla stuff. Handling home repairs and looking for a new car stuff. i don’t know what that means, i’m not sure it means anything. He lets me dangle in vanilla anxiety for a bit – maybe just until he realizes it’s happening? i don’t know.

But then He sets my mind at rest, and reassures me.

i don’t know how i feel about this. It’s as if i’m becoming more submissive in daily things, but also maybe less self-confident.

And yet – ok, true confessions – writing about it makes me hot. Yep. It does. The idea that i’m becoming more submissive to Him in ANY way apparently just turns me on.

It’s not what i had in mind when i became His submissive. But here i am.

When i bought my last car, i did a little research, talked to a few people (emphasis on “little” and “few”) and then i went to the dealer and bought a car. That car and I have lived mostly happily ever after for about 10 years now. But some impending expenses have made me turn my eyes toward a new car.

Sir is not accepting my (admittedly slipshod) previous style of research and planning. Nope. Now i had to pick three cars that were possibilities, and watch videos and read up on them. Next, we’re going to go look at them when the lot is closed and there aren’t any sales people to pressure us. There are more steps after that.

So, once-upon-a-time, Sir sold cars, and i know that He knows what He’s doing. Plus, he’s working much harder than i am doing the research and some leg work on all this. So i am TOTALLY NOT complaining.

But you know. i’m used to doing what i want to do, on my own time frame, in my own way, regardless of whether it’s the best way or not. So it just feels ~ you know ~ different.

And in some indefinable way, it feels right. Uncomfortable, but right. Different from what i thought i wanted, but ~ you know. Right.

This post seems scattered to me, and i don’t really care. Normally, i’d go back and rewrite and revise, but not today. Sigh… just hitting publish anyhow. You’ll have to sort it out for yourself.

A glass of wine, He says, and a spanking. That’s what i’m having tonight.

Last night, we both got home from work early, ate dinner earlier than usual, watched a movie on His computer (i forget what it was called, but it was very cute) and went to bed – about 8:30. Which was lovely, until about 12:30, when I woke up.

And stayed up. Couldn’t sleep.

Got up for a while, went back to bed. Lay there… til i couldn’t take it anymore.

Repeat that process – get up for a while, do some work til my eyes get heavy, lie back down. No. Still no sleep.

Lie there and try to convince myself that rest is a good thing too. Who needs sleep?

Sigh…

Finally, the alarm goes off – might as well get up, right?

A little crazed right now ~ 2:30 p.m., but hanging in there.

Tonight ~ a glass of wine and a spanking. Sounds like just what i need.

I almost forgot to announce it here! Jz started it and this is the first year for sophia to participate –

The Great, Famous, Fabulous Cookie Exchange!

As Jz says:

The rules are simple: Just post a recipe for a holiday goodie on Thursday, December 5, 2013. (We don’t limit our holiday eating to just cookies…)

Anyone is welcome to join in — but — There’s One Condition:

If you want your blog to show up in the official list of participant links, you MUST contact me (Jz) by Tuesday, Dec. 3rd, with both your name and the URL of your blog.

(If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, Years One thru Three can be found here.)

Now i have to go figure out what to share….

As for the kinky something that Sir bought me that have to do with nipples, but are not clamps – they are not nipple warmers, which i had originally hoped for. They are ~~~~

Nipple Erectors.

Yep, that what it said on the package. We haven’t actually used them yet.

Well, He experimented with them just a tiny bit the other night, just to see how they worked. They work fine.

Unfortunately, i’m not feeling particularly sexual or submissive at the moment. Sir hasn’t pushed me, and i appreciate that. He’s added some small bits of D/s to our daily interactions, but is not insisting on anything, and i’m grateful, and trusting Him to do what’s right for both of us.

i always miss Love our Lurkers Day, but this time i missed it by days. i’m so sorry – maybe i need to put it on my calendar for next year. But i love my lurkers and love comments and would love for you to step out and say hi. Don’t be shy… just a simple “hello.”

i started as a lurker, long ago, or at least it seems like long ago, and then i got totally sucked into the cyber world and now, here i am. i’ll tell that story sometime maybe, but for now, i just want to wave “hi,” at all of you. Even if you don’t “come out” of your lurker closet, i’m glad you’re here!!

Thank you for reading.

***********************

On a whole different note:

Last night, Sir decided that maybe I needed some more hints about what’s in store for me with the two gifts, both of which are still locked in His trunk. i think i told you ~ one of the things ~ the one He said was “cute” ~ involved nipples. And He had already told me that the nipple-things weren’t clamps, which totally baffled me. Last night, He laughed at me.

The gift ~ actually “gifts” are locked up in his trunk. And apparently going to stay there until Thursday or Friday night, when He plans to use them. Here’s what i know:

1. He got them at an adult toy store, not at Lowe’s or Home Depot.

2. He went to the store to get one of them, didn’t find it right away, saw the other one and thought, “O, yes, that’s cute, I bet that’s fun – for me, anyway.” And then spotted the toy He’d come for in the first place. So he got both.

3. He says one of them makes you think, “Oh, hmmm, yes, that could be painful,” while the other one is like, “Are you serious???? You’re going to use THAT?”

4. He says it’s not: A butt plug.

It could be anything else though. i was hoping for a list of what it’s not. When pressed for more information though, He just said it’s not vegetables. All righty then. (giggle…)

In other news, I’m not even sure i’m submissive anymore. That’s how long it’s been. i mean, i just had to go back and change all my “I’s” to “i’s.” Yep. Not even sure I’m submissive.

I told Sir that, and He just laughed. Then i told Him i thought i might be dominant now, and maybe we needed to switch. He was still laughing as He swatted my butt. Just enough to make me squeal – but that doesn’t take much these days.

I got a text from Sir today. He was out for the afternoon with His grandchildren, my daughter and granddaughter were going out, and I was enjoying the prospect of a quiet afternoon to do what I wanted in. Then I got this text:

“Shhh… Bought you a kinky present.”

I don’t know what store He went to before He went to meet His grandkids – maybe Auto Zone – He was going to get me a bulb for my car’s headlights. Could have been Lowe’s though. Either way ~~

~~a kinky present is very exciting. i asked Him what it was ~ cause I totally thought he’d tell me, right? Ok, no, i didn’t expect Him to tell me, and He didn’t ~ just texted back:

“The Road goes ever on and on Down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, And I must follow, if I can, Pursuing it with eager feet, Until it joins some larger way Where many paths and errands meet. And whither then? I cannot say” ~ J.R.R.Tolkien