I hope this on doesn't upset any Minnesota Viking fans, but I thought it was funny, so I'll give it a go.

A viking Convert
A Minnesota Viking family of football supporters head out one Saturday to do their Christmas shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up a Packer Brett Farve Jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided to become a Packer Fan and I would like this for Christmas". His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to mother".

Off goes the little lad with the Packer Brett Farve Jersey in hand and finds his mother.

"Mom?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Packer Fan and I would like this jersey for Christmas".
The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your father!"

Off he goes with the Packer Brett Farve Jersey in hand and finds his father.

"Dad?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Packer Fan and I would like this jersey for Christmas".
The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today."

The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have."
"Good son, what is it?"

The son replies, "I've only been a Packer Fan for an hour and I already hate you Viking Bastards."

Peter, a local farmer decided that he wanted to breed pigs, so he bought several. Quite a while passed and he saw that the pigs weren't getting pregnant, so he called a veterinarian friend for advice. The vet suggested that he try artificial insemination. The farmer had no idea of what that was, but not wanting to appear ignorant he asked only how he'd know when the pigs got pregnant. The vet replied that "Instead of just standing around, they'll be rolling in the mud."

Well, after quite a bit of thought, the farmer decided that what was meant was that he had to impregnate the pigs himself. So, next morning he loads them all into his truck, drives out into the woods, and in the course of the day has sex with the whole bunch. He goes to sleep that night, exhausted, and when he gets up the next morning to check he sees that the pigs are still just standing around. Again he loads them all into the truck, drives into the woods, and repeats his efforts.

The next morning he's still so exhausted that he can't get up, so he asks his wife to go check on the pigs. When she gets back he asks "Are the pigs rolling around in the mud?". She answers "No, they're all in the truck, and one of them is honking the horn!"