At a Whittler show, I only get to sing lead on one song: Jarnegan (at least that’s its official title – it’s known to Whittlerians as “Honey Wagon” or “Nuts in a Spreader,” but that’s a story for another time). Even though it’s my only vocal, and I have sung it many times, and I wrote the damn thing, I sometimes forget the words. Or at least the first word – if you give me that, I’m fine. I’m usually fairly good at remembering my own lyrics, but Whittler shows (especially in Chicago) involve gallons of beer.

To aid my dampened memory, my buddy Miguel consented to inscribing my forearms with the first word of each verse – “beast” and “terminal,” respectively. To make it more badass, I decided to use the Kanji symbol for “beast” and the electronic symbol for “ground,” which is close enough for me to “terminal.”

Jarnegan

Beast in the road
Head for the county line
I got a modified engine
And a mail-order bride

This baby stops on a dime
She ain’t got no brake lights
Stay out of my dreams, motherfucker!

This baby stops on a dime
You better turn on your night light
Stay out of my dreams, motherfucker!

This jaunt to the Windy City had an additional purpose: to celebrate a milestone birthday of Ingenious Whittler co-founder Jeff Christian. I love Jeff, and never more than when he is buying the beer. In this case, a few kegs of Daisy Cutter Pale Ale, which is brewed just down the street from the Brownstone Tavern, where we were playing.

It was fine to have the original band back together in Irving Park, where we played our first gigs as Ingenious Whittler nearly fifteen years ago at such storied venues as the Lyon’s Den and Beat Kitchen. It was pleasing to note that our fury had not abated in the intervening years – though are guitars are in better tune these days.

I hope you will allow me a moment to pay tribute to my bandmates of these many years. Fellowship with these animules is about as good as as it gets, and I’ve learned a lot from them.

Joe Sweeney – the most lovable curmudgeon to ever wield a four-string Fender. His heart is solid gold.

Pete Dally – a master songsmith and possessor of the voice that still makes the ladies swoon.

Eric Nelson – the soul of Whittler’s wit, and keeper of the beat that we all need to lean on. A keeper.

Jeff Christian – the upright monkey. Our Oberon, Falstaff, and Lear all in one, in a cowboy hat.

I had been documenting the evening’s events on a cheap video recorder. If I can ever untangle and assemble the miles of virtual film, it will be made available to the world. After reviewing some of the footage from this landmark performance, one thing is certain: Ingenious Whittler can still, in the immortal words of Eric Nelson, “give ‘er the groceries!”

It had been a long, hard Wednesday. I was yawning at nine. But instead of heading up to bed, I pressed up a cup of joe and toted my guitar down to the Alchemy. My friend Greg was hosting the open mic night. He had a new sound system to try out, and I had a brand new song to play.

The song? It was a number that had been percolating for several months. It started out as one line, sung over and over. Since that line was actually the title of someone else’s song, it took a while for the real song to sift up from the muck. Once I had the title, it was just a matter of time before the rest of “I Had the Strangest Dream” trickled out:

We finally made it up that hill
The paychecks caught up with the bills
It’s got so we can almost breathe

Got them taxes figured out
Looks like we can keep the house
And even live within our means

I had the strangest dream
I had the strangest dream
I had the strangest dream

Got no more habits left to kick
Gone seven months without a drink
Never thought I’d feel so clean

Paleo as I can be
I’m nicotine and gluten free
I can even fit into these jeans

I had the strangest dream…

And I don’t know
Why I even wake up any more

I had the strangest dream…

Made up with my ex-best-friend
I’m talking to my dad again
This heart may begin to heal

Straightened things out with the wife
The kids come home at Christmas time
Might finally find some peace

I had the strangest dream…

Strange as it seems
Maybe these dreams
Are in my reach

Strange as it seems
Maybe these dreams
Are in our reach

I know. I had to put in a glimmer of hope at the end. Again. That’s just to keep me going, though. It ain’t for you.

As promised, I hereby present my latest cinematic experiment. This video draws inspiration from the films of Harry Smith, particularly Number 12 (better known as Heaven and Earth Magic). I’ve been wanting to do something like this for a few years, and finally decided to figure out how. It ain’t “Thriller,” but I think it’s rather cute.

This song is one I wrote for the Ingenious Whittler record Al Smith’s New York, a classic album with sales well into the double digits. If you’d like to hear more, it’s still available.

And, in case you were wondering, the missing thimble has been restored.

After I told my friend Sam about some of the video ideas I had been playing around with, he encouraged me to start using Adobe After Effects. “But it looks soooo complicated,” I whined. “It’s just like Photoshop, with video,” he explained. So I decided to give it a go. I didn’t have a recent recording of one of my songs handy, so I dug in the CD cabinet and found an oldie.

Early in the twenty-first century, Ingenious Whittler released Al Smith’s New York, a concept album about, of all things, Tammany Hall politician Al Smith. Alfred E. Smith rose to become governor of New York, a presidential candidate in 1928, and one of the principals behind the construction of the Empire State building a year later. I contributed two compositions to this epic: “Empire of Smoke” and “Sleep Standing Up.”

The recording process was interesting. I brought the song to one of the Al Smith sessions to see if anything could be done with it. I played the keyboard part (on my old Pianorgan), sang the lead vocal, then left the rest to Pete Dally. When my copies of the CD arrived (it was our first release through Tiny Records and CDBaby), I had mixed feelings about how the song had turned out. Now I realize that the results were fresher and fit the album better than if I would have finished it myself.

Though the budget for the Sleep Standing Up video was approximately zero dollars, it took several hours of tweaking to get the images looking right and flying around the screen the way I wanted. After the animation was finished, it took over a month before I got up the gumption to finally shoot the live action. Once I had the footage, however, I got excited again and put everything together in the next few days. With the exception of a missing thimble, all went smoothly. And I learned a ton.

I fully expect this video to break the Internets when I post it. If it doesn’t, I hope you’ll give it a spin, anyway.

It was getting downright embarrassing. Shameful, even. Finally, it was my wife who spoke up.

“Get some damn business cards, already!

This was following a recent gig, where she found herself using her own business card – with my website URL scrawled on the back – to give to an interested audience member. Very professional, no? And so I finally fired up the Photoshop, cobbled together a design, and sent it off to Vistaprint – splurging for the “signature matte” finish.

O happy day when I found the Vistaprint package on my front steps, almost hidden by shrubbery. After bestowing the first shining card unto my wife, I made like the Easter Bunny, hiding cards in instrument cases, vehicles, road cases, and wallets. Why did I wait so damn long to get this done?