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First, we’re not girls. We’re not children. We are young women. We feed ourselves, pay our bills, drive, work, have sex, don’t have sex, study, party, read, and form our own thoughts and opinions, maybe not in that order.

Secondly, Carrie Bradshaw was a grown woman in her late thirties and forties. She wasn’t a college grad on her own for the first time writing a sex column for the New York Star. Nix the facetious attitude. I’m sure your Mac book pro is sick of it.

You’re writing like a child not getting to meet Cinderella at Disney World. Surprise! Every kid doesn’t get the princess dinner. Don’t be so naïve. Don’t tell everyone not to go to Disney.

I once had a friend who turned down a summer internship because she was going to have to alphabetize files on occasion. I thought she was an idiot. You have to pay your dues. Rarely do luxurious jobs just fall in your lap, and neither do amazing lofts or perfect relationships.

Work
Pay
Take risks
Put yourself out there

Those are the steps to becoming successful. Pipe dreams are labels people subscribe to when they aren’t willing to work for their goals.

Third, Carrie didn’t write to become a successful writer. She wrote because she loved it. Don’t we all want to get paid for doing what we love?

Fourth, as open as Carrie was about her sex life I think she would appreciate other younger women opening up about theirs. It clears up the misconceptions, the myths, the lies. The things we tell ourselves are the norm, knowing they’re not. The things we criticize ourselves for not being able to do. The things we live with because we don’t realize they aren’t okay. If more young women are open about their sex lives, perhaps we won’t be so quick to shun young women that have sex. If more young women are open about their sex lives, perhaps we won’t be so quick to shun young women that don’t have sex.

What’s more, at the end of the day if you can only be successful because there’s no competition… are you really successful?

Use spell check by all means. Write about things besides men and sex and relationships. Have role models besides Carrie Bradshaw. If you move to New York, expect to live in a shoe box apartment. Space is limited in the city and prices are outrageous. Don’t expect to land your own column the minute you hail a taxi. Expect to take the subway and fact check instead. Make friends like Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha because you deserve them and they are out there. Then when you’re forty; you’ve worked your ass off, have a career and loft apartment: feel free not to wear a bra.

You don’t have to be Carrie Bradshaw. You can be someone else. “Someone else successful and the city.” You can be yourself and take inspiration from someone else, whatever you want to do. Still, to get where you want to go, you have to rack up the time, the experience and the refrences. If you want to be a writer and WordPress is your only outlet, don’t let another WordPress user tell you not to write. Practice makes perfect, or close enough.

Have you ever taken unintentionally bad advice? I have! It’s one of those situations, like maybe I shouldn’t have taken advice on how to swim from a moose, but oh well, it’s done now. Last night due to some unintentionally bad advice, I hopped into the wrong bus, went to kingdom come and back before finally getting off the ride and taking refuge in the Barnes and Noble across the street.

Now in my dreams of what heaven or paradise looked like , I often imagined a glorious library, with perfect duvets in window nooks. This Barnes and Noble didn’t follow-through completely, but with free internet, it was pretty damn close.So there I was, waiting on my sister ( who I had a Facebook friend message) to pick me up, I would say “save” but I think I saved myself by getting off that darn bus when I did. Although she definitely helped. ;)Besides the terror that I would never be picked up, closing time would come, and like an unwanted puppy, I would be left on the door step to freeze, my experience wasn’t to bad. And I admit, this is no reflection on actual public transit, which has been a doll for me until now.Still, I did take a few lessons away from my experience:

Advice from a seasoned terrible traveler?

#1 January is an excellent time to buy christmas/birthday presents for your book loving friends. Everything’s on sale!

#2 Trust your gut, never be afraid to abandon ship.

#3 Never be afraid to ask to use a phone.

#4 Don’t forget your resources: Free wifi, Facebook, Google maps.

#5 If you’re going to be stranded, pick a good spot to be stranded in.

This New Years was a little different than usual. I didn’t have a New Years kiss, a bottle of champagne or a list of optimistic resolutions. Instead, I had a best friend, a pot of seafood, and not one single resolution. I won’t pretend I was perfect in 2012. I wasted a lot of money, time and energy, to be honest. I slacked off when I shouldn’t and avoided too many problems by simply not answering the phone. Still, going to the gym more, eating healthier, saving more, and being kinder just didn’t hit the chord I need for the new year.

Instead, (and perhaps this is a resolution upon itself) my 2013 agenda is basically to prioritize, do my best, and let the rest of the chips fall where they may. One of my main problems this year was worrying too much what others thought and considering others needs above my own. In 2013, I will have to put my foot down, do what’s best for me, and for now, let the rest roll. Any day is a fine day to change. Therefore in 2013 I give myself permission to change, and change back, and change again, because that’s okay. The leaves may have already fallen, but it’s still not too late to turn a new one.

Truth, I’ve missed you. I’m stressed to the max right now, but as a pledge to get back to blogging here is a list of things I’m looking at right now to keep from punching people in the face, just to help you relate.

I’m curious. Maybe it’s because I’m finally opening up to the idea of being in a relationship again, maybe it’s because his best friends at college keep accidentally inviting me to their events on facebook, and I can see what music they’re listening to on spotify, for whatever reason I firmly decided today that I’m no longer angry with my ex.

We dated for nearly five years, so am I completely over him? Not quite, but I’m getting there. We haven’t spoken in 8 months, it’s definitely been an adjustment, learning to live without my other half but I’ve gotten pretty good at it honestly. I feel independent and strong on my own. I feel proud of me and everything I’ve done, and how I’ve changed over the past several months.

So I guess what I’m wondering… what I’m curious of… is when you’ve reached this point. When you no longer hate your ex, when you can finally fathom another relationship without being sick thinking of the inevitable impending heartache, can you contact them? Have you? Do you?

I don’t mean to be friends, or meet up and discuss the past. Perhaps just a message, you don’t even need a response to. An acknowledgement that your anger has subsided, that you’re grateful for the relationship you had and understand why things couldn’t work out, and that it’s okay.

Do you think it’s opening a can of worms? Is it cathartic? What happened when you did it? Do you regret it?

You might not know this about me, but I am incredibly impatient. If I was the local farmer, you’d buy the imported stuff because I’d never wait for the vegetation to ripen. Green bananas and coconut sized watermelon.

Last week one of my friends was discussing how she’d held back freshman year, tested the water before she dove in. Her and another friend chatted about the benefits of taking in the scenery before venturing too far out into the woods. I thought about myself and my freshman year as my club advisor tapped my shoulder and asked me to take the stage and make an announcement to the new freshman class.

I gawked at her for a minute at the irony of the situation, and made my way to the microphones. This is where my impatience had gotten me. Standing on a stage at the beginning of my sophomore year during opening ceremony asking the first years to please remember to sign up for Day of Service. Plugging in a bit about sisterhood and seeing the area and an added incentive.

You see this is a huge leap for me. While, Sitting, Waiting, Wishing has never been my theme song, I used to be chronically quiet, as in I didn’t speak when I was younger. I never slept the night before a presentation. I never volunteered to be first, to be the voice of a group. I didn’t ask, or share my opinion. I was silent.

Now I’m far from the little girl I was. I love presentations, I am uncomfortable not being the leader and my general motto is what doesn’t kill us, or Would Hillary Clinton do it? These past two weeks, I’ve been so pushed out of my comfort zone, I’ll probably have to start building a new one.

I’ve forced my way from Vice President of a club, or professional head nodder, as I sometimes refer to it as, to President. I’m leading the biggest event I’ve ever been put in charge of. I did an improv skit in front of roughly 150 people, and I spoke alone in front of the entire freshman class, their parents, my classmates and the President of the University as well as her cabinet.

It’s possible I’m a little in over my head, but who makes history without facing the possibility of drowning for a second? I’ll let you know how this turns out.