One of the best teachers of 'how to fight' was the aforementioned John Farnam of Defense training International, whom Maloney and I trained under...

When we were put through the 'Duelatron scenario' 'Shoot-no shoot' _ 'kill or be killed' problems we needed to solve, instead of mindless practice_

John_ through the articulation of the totality of the circumstances_ was able to verbally walk through what happened and why you did what you did, right or wrong...then he would tell you that reality would again be different when suddenly overcome with shock, denial and confusion.

Read body language, verbal threats what we are doing vs. what the BG is saying/doing_ This as most of us are aware, takes place in only a few seconds but it very easily could pertain to a deadly force situation as well.

The advantage the BG has is the fact they know, in most instances, when & where the fight will take place, and you have to play catch up.

Quote"I think one way to look at this is simply that any martial art, any teacher of any discipline, even of tactical know how...even a teacher who has been in fights...can only convey tool boxes and concepts [maybe a personal experience] that will become helpful in survival situations. Other than that, any fight on the street is a flip of the coin."

It is a question of degree, if somebody has never been in a fight then they can tell you nothing about fighting,,,,,,,,they may be able to show you martial art.with an emphasis on "Art".....but little else....or maybe they can quote somebody whose knowledge they value, but that is it. It is a difficult call becaue I have known people with little training who did very well defending themselves and others with knowledge who did really badly.

The best line that I've heard is "keep it simple stupid"......that should be a mantra for all martial artists, and bear in mind I have spent years studying "soft" martial arts and "soft" methods both Japanese (Aikido) and Chinese ( Tai Chi and Wing Chun).but really boxing is the best IMHO for getting right out there and just doing

It is a question of degree, if somebody has never been in a fight then they can tell you nothing about fighting,,,,,,,,they may be able to show you martial art.with an emphasis on "Art".....but little else....or maybe they can quote somebody whose knowledge they value, but that is it. It is a difficult call becaue I have known people with little training who did very well defending themselves and others with knowledge who did really badly.

Generally true but with important exceptions:

Having been in previous fights needs to be defined as to what a fight is or is perceived to be by students. Here I like the concise outline of Rick Wilson

Quote:

Fast: Little or no warning. The tactic most often used is an ambush (home invasion) or sucker punch.

Incendiary, brutal and intense: Often jumping to violence quickly. It can be loud and angry or silent and as hidden as possible. The aggressor wants to get what they want at little risk to themselves therefore often a very violent attack is the tool – remember the Russian video of the fifteen year old girl being mugged (stomped to death) outside of an elevator.

Total commitment to do you grievous bodily harm or lethal intent: They have no intention of stopping until you are in the hospital or dead. Violence is their tool to achieve their goal. You mean nothing to them or their goal is the enjoyment of your suffering. Either way your wellbeing is of no concern to them. Taking your ability to fight back is.

High chemical cocktail dump: The intensity, brutality and violence level of a real assault will kick in the chemical cocktail and all the physical and physiological reactions that result.

An assault is not even a mutually agreed upon street fight. You do not move around at a distance waiting for an opportunity to attack, it will be Close Quarters Combat (CQC) immediately. Having said that, never say never, if the initial assault is repelled without taking the aggressor out you may end up at a distance but not disengaged from the assault and you will need to know how to close the distance and attack (this ability is also needed in multiple attack situations.) So still include sparring in your training.

You may be taken to the ground or knocked to the ground: You may end up on the ground while the aggressor(s) are still standing or the aggressor(s) may take you to the ground. This is a reality.

Possible multiple attackers: The types of people who assault you do not want a fight they want to hurt you therefore sucker punching and multiple attackers makes it “safer” for them. If they do this then they have experience and they know how to do it well. One occupies you while another blindsides you stomping your ankle into a pulp so you drop and they being to kick – a potentially lethal situation.

Possible Weapons: For the same reason as multiple attackers the aggressor want to hurt you with little threat to themselves so weapons gives them an advantage. Always assume a weapon is possible and if you are winning – very likely. If not one that is brought then one that is improvised.

Unpredictable Street attacks: While there are more and more trained people, or mimics, out there you will also encounter wild attacks and attacks not common to what is often thought of as “Traditional Asian Arts.” Patrick McCarthy’s “habitual acts of violence” is a great reference for Common Street attacks. Criminals train to take the advantage and this reality has to be prepared for.

Even if some teacher has had all these types of fights_ he may still not be able to teach anyone anything, especially if he is afflicted by the the John Wayne syndrome — rushing without tactical restraint into a kill zone.

Generally, the ability to succed in violent confrontations is a multi-faceted one.

Any skills we may have developed in any discipline, be it martial arts, boxing etc._ all come down, in a physical sense, to the ability to hit your target with your body limbs,without fracturing them, hard enough to 'stop' the assaillant.

Our training under any teacher of any discipline has to contain perceived nuances of overcoming adversities and solving problems, as well as the physical tooling we all like to extol.

There are many areas you can gain this type of knowledge and conceptual experience that develops a person's attributes useful in a defensive encounter.

Rick Wilson has pointed to some of them.

As a base...we see in people that growing up and playing sports can show young men and women that they are capable of physical acts that border on violence. Guys on the football field are training themselves for a type of battle.

Then one of the glaring problems that floats rapidly into consciousness, in deadly force adversity training_is the human reactions under the stress of sudden aggressive attack _ and how these reactions, mental and physical, are drastically affected by the way we train and apply the techniques we’ve learned...empty handed or with defensive weapons.

Confusing a personal belligerent and rude attitude...with the strength, training, and conditioning needed to prevail in a fight. How do you know you have the Will And Ability To Win, if you don't even have the will to train?

Confusing a personal belligerent and rude attitude...with the strength, training, and conditioning needed to prevail in a fight. How do you know you have the Will And Ability To Win, if you don't even have the will to train?"

Yeah sadly you get that a lot,especially on a forum where people don't know who they are talking to, or what that person even looks like. Fitness is very neglected IMHO and it doesn't take up a lot of time 30 minutes in the gym and you can achieve a lot

We can become targets unwittingly and in many ways. Here's one example

Quote:

The dirtbag tried to hit my family while I was deployed, but I set up an SOP for my wife for when I was not at home.

Her and our daughter and a 150lb great dane would hole up in the bedroom; phone by bed (pre cell phones), .357, mag light and the door had deadbolts. The other parts of the house had motion detectors to set off an alarm in the bedroom besides exterior lights on MDs.

My wife woke up to the alarm and tried to call police; the phone lines had been cut,the guy had cut the glass and reached in and unlocked the window; I even had a pin through the window frames, then the guy tried to kick the bedroom door down, at which point the dog is barking and the guy is still trying to get in, she fired 2 rounds through the door, and then they went out the window to the neighbors house.

When the police got there they found the door and part of the wall was knocked down into the bedroom as well as lots of blood and parts of clothing, they trailed a blood trail out of the backyard and the through the house's yard behind to the road where there was a pool where a waiting vehicle was parked, several people had awoke to the gunshots and saw the vehicle.

the police found him at the hospital due to injuries from the dog, he didn't get hit by the gunshots nor was deterred from them being fired at him. He said that he knew he would hurt me more by killing my family.

This incident led to, a few years later my wife divorcing me.

I have a new family now and they really don't want to deal with this, but they do take some measures that I insist on, but I never forget this can happen to anyone of us and I don't really know how to explain how I've felt from this experiance, but I'm always on yellow and it disturbs my wife and others who aren't warriors I guess.

Having lost a family member to a home invasion I can identify with this.

Sobering indeed. I always used to worry that somebody would stalk me or follow me home from court. I have a french mastiff.I don't know if it is the breed or mastiffs generally but they have the strongest bitedown of any dog, something like three to five times that of a rotweiller so I've been told....a lovely animal, but when he sees me worried or threatened, the change is terrifying 120lb dog with jaws the size of an alligator and the attitude of a lion hunting.

My wife had a stalker, a serious one, who was smart, aggressive and had no apparent conscious care what happened to me. He was an engineer, a religious wacko, and convinced that my wife "belonged" to him, to the point that he somehow got a marriage license to her in another state.

We were living in a small house, the first time I noticed something was wrong was when the dog was having trouble standing and wagging his tail when we got home. He had been drugged. All of my wife's clothing was gone. police called, they just stood there asking her who her boyfriend was, and when was the last time she and him had been intimate. She was scared to death and they are accusing her of cheating, and she had no clue.

Two weeks later at her office, she walks past one of her engineers and finds her perfume scent on his jacket. She walked right out of work and drove to my jobsite, the whole time freaking out.

Two days later we approach HR at her company and they get a guard to get him to open his locker, which has camera, (a firing offense), many pictures of wife, and duct tape, zip ties, a cloth bag-later deemed to be used as head cover/blindfold, and two syringes with Diazapam in them, along with several items pilfered from her desk and purse. He was terminated on the spot, forced to hand over his credentials, and his Gov't security clearances were suspended and requested to be terminated.

The next 4 years were a nightmare, he was able to elude police, he would show up at odd intervals, and would mostly just try to "get to talk to my wife"

Wife and I had gotten permission to carry, and did so immediately after he was terminated. I had one chance but he showed up in the middle of Santa's Christmas display while we were taking our daughter for her first trip to see Santa' at the mall.

With too many kids around all I could do was walk straight at him while wife grabbed the daughter and went straight to the womens room. (a preferred retreat in a busy place, one entrance, usually good solid block and tile walls, and a place other men are going ask WTF if some guy tries to enter)

He took off running and I was satisfied with distance between him and my family and we then left. One good thing was the mall had great camera's and we were able to prove he was violating the restraining order, which stepped up the police reactions.

We had decided that the safest way to arm ourselves at home when dealing with little kids was "stashed" weapons. I designed and built several pieces of furniture with snap open compartments with guns inside. All of the upholstered furniture had the rear dust covers untacked and replaced with velcro or other "tear away" fasteners, and weapons were placed in that space.

A new dog was gotten who was trained to never eat from strangers, and was trained to only eat what was in his bowl, so a treat tossed in a window or door would be ignored. Two solenoid locks were placed on the doors, and another on the screen door, and they would only open to coded key cards and could be engaged from inside the house.

Lights were installed so that from the bedroom, I could illuminate the whole outside and front of the home, while the bedroom was in shadows.

During this time, he was getting more audacious. He got someone at the bank to recognize his wedding license and took money from her accounts. He created charge accounts with her name on them and his.

He tried to get rehired by the same company under an alias, and then tried to get hired by the company contracted to do security, (he was hired, but then fired, when the background check was done) He tried to get a job working as a contract janitor in her building.

I found my car tampered with several times, from brake lines cut, to tie rods damaged.

Then things stopped for over 6 months.

We moved, had our attorney buy the house in his name, same with phone number etc, I changed jobs and she bought a new car, was allowed to park in an exec only garage and had dark tint on her windows.

I had finally gotten a in car phone, one of the shoe boxes that had a regular hand set on top of it. That too was bought via a third party. Second day I owned it, he called me, I was driving in traffic. His only words were "you 3#$(*% $(*$*A# you will never be with her again, when the red Honda behind you moves I will shoot you in the head"

I had a jeep cherokee, and I was instantly on the gas, driving on the shoulder slewing the car around etc. I went to the police detective who had been handling it. They were able to trace where the call had come from and it turned out he was working as a computer tech for the company that manages the traffic control cameras.

He was arrested, charged and held, right before trial he took a plea, to a much reduced charge, without our agreement (which is supposedly mandatory in this state for such crimes) and spent 90 days, 60 suspended, with 5 years probation.

He then left the state, violating his probation.

He showed up a few months later, nearly arrested, but was gone. He had gone from pencil thin, no mustache or beard, and very close cropped hair to full beard, much heavier stronger build, and letting his hair grow. It was only his voice that wife caught.

He would show up from one to four times a year, over the next few years, but he would send letters, calls, emails always trying to get her "to listen to reason" his catch phrase.

We decided to move, again, and were looking at homes in a new state, wife's company was willing to transfer her, and he showed up at the hotel we were staying at. He was arrested after I was able to corner him.

This time the prosecutor was a mean one, and brought in Feds. He was nailed for wirefraud, terroristic threats, theft, attempted kidnapping, weapons charge and violations of his security clearances, which had somehow never been canceled. He was sent to a federal prison in Colorado.

I NEVER walk in my house if my dog does not meet me. I have other tricks placed about to see if someone has been in. I never take the sames routes anywhere sequentially. I am never unarmed. I am a much better shot, if he shows up, I am taking the shot. period.

I know he was sentenced for a long time, but I do not trust the system, as far as I am concerned, he could and will return any day. He is a PhD level computer scientist, if anyone can hack a system, its him, and I know he is not supposed to have computer access, but maybe he has a student in the joint.

We do things like parking away from others. If a car parks next to ours, it causes a trigger. I find myself writting down plate numbers all the time, "I saw you yesterday...hmmm."

For the first year or so, wife and I hardly ever slept together, meaning, we shared a bed, but one would stay awake, read, or I would do laundry while she slept, and when she would wake, I would sleep. The two yapper dogs slept in kids room, and the big one in our room.

The yappers might seem odd for watch dogs, but the one could hear a cat walking on powder snow a block away and let us know about it. I had no fear of anyone getting that close without some warning. As the kids got older, and understood more, they learned a bad man wanted to steal mom and they learned to always look for what was not right. By age ten, both knew where the guns were and how to shoot revolvers.

My mindset is different today, I have decided that when I see him next, I will make sure that is the last time anyone sees him. Edited to add, In rereading this , the time frames seem too condensed, He started bothering my wife in 1986. He was finally sentenced in 2000. 14 years of him being loose except for one brief stint in county

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