Urlacher latest NFL player to face retirement's cold call

May 22, 2013
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Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher on Wednesday announced his retirement after 13 years with the team, acknowledging that if his passion to play would not be up to his standards if he returned for another season. / Rob Grabowski, USA TODAY Sports

by Jarrett Bell, USA TODAY Sports

by Jarrett Bell, USA TODAY Sports

I wonder whether Brian Urlacher would have announced his retirement on Wednesday had, say, six teams lined up outside his door waving $10 million contracts.

That might have made the decision to walk away after 13 seasons with the Chicago Bears a lot tougher.

It wasn't the case, so the cold and cruel NFL marketplace dropped quite a hint.

But Urlacher knew.

And the middle linebacker acknowledged it when he said his passion for playing likely would not have been up to his standards had he returned for another season.

Process that. Passion.

In NFL terms, that includes nursing aching bones and muscles, and typically taking needles to numb the pain. Maybe some headaches, too. Then do it again next week.

The money's a great motivator, but for players it's always deeper than that.

Kudos to Urlacher, three days shy of turning 35, for pointing that out as he joins Ronde Barber and David Garrard among the recently retired from the NFL ranks. Another factor for Urlacher might have been the realization that physically, he's not the player he was.

Garrard, 35, seemed to still have the passion, but not the essential left knee that kept swelling up as the quarterback attempted a comeback with the New York Jets. The knee was his hint.

Big props to Garrard for knowing when to say when. Many don't.

Barber, who lasted 16 seasons as a defensive back and played 240 consecutive games, probably could have been lured back to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers â?? if only coach Greg Schiano would have told him that he needed him for a starting role in the secondary.

Barber, 38, got the hint.

Regardless of the hints, the marketplace, the health of their bodies or their financial portfolios, retiring is not an easy, automatic process.

These men have played football since they were kids.

There's a psychology to hanging up the cleats that should not be overlooked as the replays keep alive those big moments over the years.

Ask Terrell Owens, 39, still hoping to come back.

"When they leave the game, it's a loss," says Gregg Steinberg, a Tennessee-based sports psychologist whose clients have included NFL players. "You have to grieve."

In that sense, it's probably not over yet for Urlacher, Barber and Garrard. Although Urlacher and Barber seem to be prime candidates for TV jobs and Garrard is contemplating joining the Jets as a camp tutor for rookie Geno Smith, the withdrawal from football can be a beast â?? emotionally, financially and physically.

Steinberg believes the Kubler-Ross theory â?? built on five stages of grief â?? that counselors apply to people who have endured various losses can also be relevant to football players crossing the bridge to retirement.

The five stages, which can be experienced in no particular order: Denial. Anger. Depression. Negotiation. Acceptance.

"The problem is, a lot of people get stuck in stages," Steinberg says.

His advice to retiring NFL players?

"Be aware that you could become stuck in these stages," he said. "Especially negotiation and acceptance. You're worthy, besides football."

Steinberg has never met Owens, once arguably the NFL's most complete receiver â?? whose talent was often overshadowed by controversy wrapped in boorish or silly behavior. Some of Owens' financial issues, including child-support payments and heavy investment losses, also have become public.

He's talked of wanting another crack at the NFL, where teams are more likely to invest in younger, developing talent over players past their prime.

He's hardly the first to resist retirement, perhaps lured by the pay. Barber's twin brother, Tiki, attempted a comeback after five years in retirement, but found no takers.

Maybe Owens is in denial?

"It might be there's a love for the game that he doesn't want to let go of, and he believes that he's still able to contribute," Steinberg said. "But at the same time, you have to let it go.

"If you're wise, you're doing the transition mentally while you're still playing and you know there's life after football."

And hopefully, they'll all discover that they don't need football as much as they used to.