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Saturday, December 31, 2011

We are praising God for the answered prayers for another Christian mate for our embryo donor mom. (She was widowed over 3 1/2 years ago... hence the reason we were blessed with her embryos and as a result our Levi!)

Our hearts are overjoyed for her and her two kiddos!

I am thanking God for the gift that she is to our family.

I am thanking God for blessing her today with another companion to share this life on earth with...

I am thanking God that He saw fit to bless the both of us this year with such happiness, such amazing healing gifts in this precious baby and new husband...

He has brought much beauty from the ashes for both of us...

I praise Him for His faithfulness!

Lord, you have done some pretty amazing things in 2011... what a great way to end the year... the joining of these two lives... It makes my heart sing:)

OUR FAVORITE PART OF THE LIGHTS... THE TUNNEL... THEY EVEN HAD MISTLETOE HANGING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TUNNEL THIS YEAR... I THINK WE EMBARRASSED THE KIDS:)

HOPIE WITH THE HOOTSPA AT SILVER DOLLAR CITY... She is such a ham...

IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DAY ... THE WEATHER IS UNREAL RIGHT NOW...

WHAT IS IT WITH THE GINORMOUS SUNGLASSES?? :)

We were so blessed to get the chance to go to Silver Dollar City yesterday for the first time. We had some sweet friends treat us to such a fun day. The weather was perfect. Anna, by far gets the bravery award... She loved the roller coasters more than any of our boys. One of the neatest things was the total emphasis on Christian values. They even had a nativity in the parade... no Santa... just Jesus! The lights around the whole park at night were so pretty.

We also just got done celebrating Christmas with my in laws and Greg's sister Lisa and her daughters. The kids had an absolute ball with their cousins. It was just for a few day so it went by really fast, but it was sure nice for them to be here with us. We rarely get that much time with Lisa, so that was a real treat, to actually have lots of time to visit. I was thankful to have her listening ear:) We really appreciate them taking the time to drive all the way up here from Houston...

We are enjoying our last few days of Christmas vacation... since it is back to the grind next Monday for us:) We have cherished the extra time with Greg and home:)﻿

Sunday, December 25, 2011

CUDDLING WITH MY SNOWFLAKE BABY... BESIDES MY SAVIOR... ONE OF THE BEST GIFTS OF THIS PAST YEAR FOR SURE!!!

What a sweet Christmas Day the Lord blessed us with... I am so grateful...

The kids and I were up late Christmas Eve... after church last night we did IHOP with our small group friends... Lots of laughing and good fellowship:)

Then Greg went back to church for the late services and the kids and I went home for chocolate fondue, new snugglies (either jammies or slippers:) and a movie...

I of course fell asleep on the couch watching the movie and the kids, (Lou, Caleb, Anna and Jojo) watched all of "It's a Wonderful Life". In my tired state I thought that 132 minutes meant an hour an a half... so it went much later than I was expecting... I was just not thinking... Oops...

The movie had just finished when Greg walked in the door at 1:45 CRAZY!!! Surprisingly they all got out of bed quickly for church this morning.... I was proud of them...

After church we opened our family presents...The kids loved all of theirs and I was amazed at the thought that Greg put into the presents he got me this year... we never do a whole lot for each other, usually something small...

He got me the most beautiful snowflake necklace... (Sometimes babies that are born from frozen embryos are called snowflake babies:) Then he had bought a soft snowflake throw and snowflake cups from Levi to Anna and me... just precious... so thoughtful...

Then we had a few families over for a mountain dinner... it was sort of an experiment, but I think went pretty well... basically you have rice and everyone brings all sorts of toppings for the rice... anything from meat, to veggies, to nuts, to pineapple... it actually tasted really good and was a different way to celebrate Christmas that is for sure...

I was totally overcome by the Lord's goodness to our family today... I was so thankful to be able to celebrate with friends who are like family to us... what a gift... Especially when you live far away from all family...

And to be surrounded by my husband and kids was all I could ever want... (except of course another little 3 year old boy messing around with us all day... can't wait for Heaven to enjoy that ) It was a beautiful Christmas...

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

These are 2 of the sweet pumpkins that I am sharing a slumber party with tonight... I have to admit little Miss Hope is staying in her own room... she is definitely not at the point where she would get any sleep out in the family room with the rest of us... or allow any of us to catch any shut eye:)

The older boys are away with Greg tonight... they left earlier today and will be gone till late tomorrow night. They are finally getting their chance to go through the family life resource the Passport to Purity. I am so happy that they have this time to get away together, the 3 of them. I know Greg had some fun things planned to mix in between the sessions that they will go through together... I can't wait to hear about it...

We had a hard MEND meeting last night... We welcomed 2 new gals who had lost their babies in the last few months. There are a lot of girls that are fresh in their grief and it literally breaks my heart remembering exactly how I felt that first Christmas after Samuel died. I am so glad that I found MEND and a safe place to land in my sorrow... God knew I would need it... and I am so thankful to still be able to be a part of it, to hopefully help others know that they are not alone in their sadness...

We have been off of school all week and it has been glorious... we really needed the break... I know we don't have any more than the average family has going on... but it has seemed really busy. We have enjoyed making hot cocoa, cookies, and friendship tea together. It has been so nice to be around the house more than normal... We are really looking forward to Christmas and celebrating our Saviors birth...

The little ones are finishing up a movie, and then will hit the hay in the family room...Levi is already out... Then I plan to try to get the Christmas cards done and get some presents wrapped... I will join the kiddos on the couch a little later... we will see how much sleep we all get tonight:)

Sunday, December 11, 2011

It started out by me getting up a whole hour earlier than I expected...

I set my alarm, but for some reason thought I needed to be at church an hour earlier...

Needless to say we were actually early for the first time ever!!

The crazy thing is, Levi had a total blow out so I just barely snuck in, right on time to Bible Study!

Funny, how that happens:)

We spent the rest of the afternoon playing outside and watching the Packers win again.

I have to say that I am so excited for Tim Tebow and the Broncos... I think it is awesome to see Him succeed... even in the midst of much criticism...

We ended the night by getting 7 stuffed sandwich loaves in the freezer for meals... We couldn't help eating one of the Reubens... We will see how they turn out after they are frozen, it was kind of an experiment.﻿

CAN NOT WAIT....

THIS IS OUR LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL TILL CHRISTMAS VACATION FOR THIS FAMILY!

Friday, December 9, 2011

We got up early yesterday before the sun... very uncommon for this crew:)

We hit the road by 5:30 to head to St. Louis for the funeral of our sweet friend Mary's mama...

We are so thankful that she is finally not suffering anymore and that she is perfectly healthy and whole with her Savior Jesus... We know in the same breath that she will be so missed and we will continue to pray for all of her family that loves her so much for the Lord to comfort them and give them great peace!

We arrived in St. Louis just in time to eat lunch with them and attend the service...

Afterwards we were so blessed to hit Dunkin Donuts with our sweet friends... a few things stick out to me...

Those friends are such precious gifts from God, who can encourage you even in their own heartache...

It is so sweet to pick up right where we left off...

As usual we literally laughed till we cried... they are so precious to us!

And Dunkin Donuts has the BEST vanilla chai tea I think I have ever had... YUMMY!

Literally as we were saying goodbye I got a phone call on my cell from our upstairs neighbor at the sem...

We decided we would stop for Advent dinner at their church and to visit for a short while. It was such a treat to catch up quickly and then hit the road again... Their church was so hospitable to us, insisted on feeding us all and sent us on our way with warm full tummies for the next 5 hours home. I think we pulled in around 1:30 am.

It was a long day, but so totally worth it...

Busy days ahead too as we cook 6 dozen cookies for the boys to sell with the youth group at church, and participate in our small town parade for church tomorrow... It should be fun... coop is done for December and we plan to do one more full week of school and then a couple of weeks off to relax... I can't wait:)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I am so glad that Linny is bring back her Memorial Box Monday blog hop... It is so good to be reminded of God's faithfulness... Now I really need to find a little box around our house to start to collect some small things to remind myself of the ways God has remained faithful in our lives...

This story isn't at all new to those of you who frequent my blog... but it will be a little recap for anyone new:)

I think the most obvious sign of God's faithfulness these days is our Levi... I think I need to look for a snowflake ornament to add to my box... he is our snowflake baby...

After 2 1/2 years of trying to get pregnant.... In February of 2008 the Lord blessed us with the pregnancy of our sweet Samuel... We were beyond overjoyed as we wondered if we would ever have anymore biological children . (The Lord was already stirring in our hearts a desire to adopt:) When he was born still at the end of October, we were devastated. As much as we never lost faith in our God, (Greg of course was rock steady the WHOLE time) I had some wrestling in store with God. It was sort of like I had to wrestle out the questions and how it all worked into my faith... I knew I still believed 100% in the saving power of my God... but I was hurting so badly and complete despair pretty much summed up where my heart was at... I was heartbroken over losing a life I had planned with Samuel here on earth. I am thankful for the healing power of our God that He brings in His time...

In November 2009, in an absolutely amazing miraculous way, the Lord saw fit to allow me to come across a sweet gal who had been widowed just 5 months before Samuel died. She had 2 young children that she and her husband had conceived through IVF... We found each other on the blog of a mutual friend. Here she was valuing the lives of the 7 frozen babies that she still had from their IVF treatments. She was wanting to find a loving Christian family for them. She wanted to give them a chance at life...

Never in a million years would I have ever thought that this was how the Lord would work... He allowed us to adopt those 7 sweet babies in June of 2010... I conceived our precious Levi in July of 2010 through the process of a Frozen Embryo Transfer, we finalized our adoption of Hope in August of 2010 and praise God, Levi was born safely in March of 2011...

The Lord has tied our families, ours and the donor mom's together in such a unique and precious way. We all value life that God creates from the moment it is conceived... He took Levi who was frozen for five years and breathed the breath of life right back into him. It amazes me to this day!!! That is a miracle!!! He has taken such hurt and pain in all of our lives and worked Levi's precious life into the whole equation to show us how much He loves us.

I just never imagined that the Lord would build our family in the way he has. When I see Levi... every single time... I am reminded of our good and gracious God who can even work through blogs to make miracles happen. Levi is a display of our great God's power, creativity, and splendor. The joy and happiness he adds to this family is like a healing salve to our hearts. He is pretty dog gone adorable too:)

Saturday, December 3, 2011

There are two of Levi's 5 teeth peeking out... he is busy working on number 6 as well...

This sweet precious boy and what we have experienced in the past 3+ years gives us a different perspective on life... and I am so thankful for it...

The challenges that I feel we are facing right now appear to be big and difficult to face at times...

And then I remember what the Lord has brought us through... Have my son die, having the baby we hoped to adopt die just 8 mos. later, fertility struggles, an a miscarriage all in a matter of 18 mos. has changed our perspective on things... I am so thankful for that part of the equation...Praise God for His strong arms to carry us through the tragedies and sorrow of this life...

And Praise God for giving us a new perspective... new eyes to see this life and our circumstances through...

We truly feel, we have one life to live, it may be over 5 years from now, 50 years from now, or tomorrow, only the Lord knows... but we do not want to waste the moments of these days holding onto the hurt that seems to come our way... we just want to love God and all of His people... and those who aren't yet His people. That is the most important thing to us in this life... and that includes ministering to our children. I know Greg sometimes can't believe that for his job, he gets to be in ministry...

I need to keep surrendering my plans, my will, my heart to His ways... I know His ways are always best... but that doesn't mean they come easy always... But there is sooooo much to be thankful for right now...

A few updates from our week...
Louis got his braces off this week... and man does his smile look good... I will try to post a picture sometime soon.

Louis and Caleb had their first basket ball games this week... The school at our church was short on players and they asked the boys to play on the school team. They are really enjoying it and catching on quickly since this is their first season to play... They won tonight in overtime, and it was a fun nail biter. I have never seen Louis be that aggressive before...G and I kind of looked at each other and laughed... he is just not that way at home ever... it was kind of good to see...:)

The Christmas tree if up and done... I had a sweet moment tonight with Levi in my arms just gazing at the lights... He was totally enamored by it... His expression priceless... He is such a gift to all of us... I don't think I can fully explain the immense joy he brings to our family!

Hopie has started with the tantrums... our first child to do that... She can be so amazingly sweet, and spicy at the same time... It makes for some pretty exciting days:) I am still tying to figure out if there is anything that adds to the likelihood of her having one... besides the fact that she gets mad when she doesn't get her way:) She is two... Three is just around the corner in a couple of months... yay!:)

We are so excited that Greg's parent's and hopefully his sister and daughters will be able to come our way over Christmas break for a few days...

We are so excited that Levi's donor mom is getting married at the end of this month. We are praising God that He has brought a great Godly man into her life... and love again...

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

That the kids and I will hopefully have company on Christmas Eve... (my sweet young friend Katie is planning on joining us for IHOP, fondue and a movie at home, while G works)...

An incredible extended family who is so much fun to be around...

A sweet oldest son who greeted me with a homemade peppermint cappachino yesterday morning...

A loving husband who is so patient to continually support me...

That amidst so many divorces of people we know that the Lord is knitting G and I closer together... He is my companion... that we are in this for the LONG haul... and I couldn't be happier about it...

A faithful God who softens my heart towards others and shows me where I need refining while I pray...

A big white van that has more than enough space for us all...

A precious miracle baby boy in my arms who loves to snuggle...

The gift of all of my children who challenge me daily, make me rely on my Lord more and more with each passing day, yet melt my heart with their tenderness and willingness to help here at home...

A home that STILL feels huge compared to the small apartment we lived in for 2 years at the seminary...

Precious friends who will never forget about the boy I have waiting for me in Heaven and who aren't afraid to talk about him, or mention his name...

That God sees the BIGGER picture...

That God has plans for our family and that I can trust in His will for our family and rest assured that regardless of how I feel at times... He has it fully under control and I can fully trust Him...

That even amidst uncertainty we can be certain that the Lord has us in His hand and that all we experience has been filtered through his hands...

For the Bible Study I am doing on Sunday mornings... and for the fire that He is fanning into flame inside of me... I just love this study...

For the blog of an amazing friend that continually challenges us to put our faith into action... I am so excited to see what God may have in store for our family with little things He lays on our hearts...

GOD YOU ARE SO GOOD TO ME... I AM OVERCOME BY YOUR FAITHFULNESS... LORD I SURRENDER MY PLANS... I REST IN YOUR PLANS FOR OUR FAMILY... GIVE US PATIENCE LORD AS YOU WORK IN US AND AROUND US... USE US LORD HOWEVER AND WHEREVER YOU SEE FIT...

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Most of the family heading out on a hike in the Kettle Morraine Forest

Trying to get some pictures of Levi... this is how the majority of them turned out...

fingers in the mouth...

Levi cut his 3rd and 4th teeth up north...

He is currently working on the 5th and 6th...

Such a big boy:)

What a joy filled little guy...

Our Hope Jubilee

We are home safe and sound. It is nice to be back in our own beds, but it was such a nice vacation. I am so thankful we had the chance to spend time with family and especially that Greg had time to really relax... what a blessing.

The tree is up, lights are on, but no ornaments yet. We spent all of yesterday unpacking and organizing... (We are fully unpacked.... I hate to admit it but most vacations it takes me weeks to fully unpack... this is such a good feeling) We deep cleaned the laundry room and hope to take a room at a time to deep clean and purge... Greg and I are feeling totally convicted that we have too much stuff that we don't need. We want to live more simply and this is a good place to start. Hopefully we can bless some other people with the things that we don't really use around here. Honestly, the clutter of stuff just completely clutters my mind...

The countdown to Christmas is on:) It will be a whirl wind I am sure between school, church services, coop, and sports. I know we will need to make a real effort to grab a hold of the sweet family moments that we can as we head into December. We watched Marley and Me tonight... Jojo bawled... afterwards he said, "I never want a dog." He was so heartbroken by how it ended...

They boys have their first basketball game this week... It should be interesting...

I am laughing... as I type this I can hear my sweet hubby snoring into the baby monitor upstairs... funny, he claims he doesn't snore:)

The past few days have been busy with seeing more friends and family. We had a turkey dinner tonight with my 2 brother's familys, ours, Grandma and Grandpa, and 2 of our old neighbors when we lived here at the lake. After dinner we watched some old family videos that we had made for my dad's 50th and 60th birthdays... Oh my funny!

The boys came home and they all were shut out at deer camp... They usually try for the big ones...didn't see any of those...so on the last day, they decided they could take does, but then they didn't see any of those... Needless to say, my hubby has now been in the woods out back of my parents. He and jojo did some hunting this afternoon together. Jojo has been looking forward to it. It was so funny, Hope today was sitting on the stool this morning watching daddy from the kitchen. She could see him out there up in the tree in his blaze orange...

Speaking of little Hopie... she wrote her name the other day... I am wondering who taught her how to do that? Man, she is smart... it was totally legible, especially for a 2 year old... I almost fell over.

I can't believe that we will have to head home in 2 days... I am not ready to get back to real life...is that bad? This has been such a relaxing trip. Last time we were on vacation G had pneumonia and it wasn't a vacation for any of us... Part of vacation for me, is just having an extra set of hands available, besides just having time together. We are getting all of that this time and it is wonderful. Thank you Lord!!!

We plan to maybe get to head back to our old church tomorrow, go on a hike in the Kettle Morraine forest if it is warm enough, finish a little school for the boys, LAUNDRY, take the kids to visit the college where G and I met, and head over to my uncle's house for Thanksgiving... not to mention pack... It will be a busy next couple of days...

Ok... now I can hear Anna or Jojo talking in their sleep through the baby monitor... guess it is time to go join the crew...:)

There is so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving...God has been so gracious to us!

This has been the nicest vacation... I literally could see Greg unwinding and relaxing immediately... it took no time at all. He and the boys left 2 days ago to go hunting with all the men... We sent them off with the command to bring home food for the winter:) We will see. I didn't hear anything from the hunters all day, although I know that they get terrible cell reception at the farm so who knows...

Yesterday and today were super busy. I got to spend some time with my sweet friend Tami from the seminary (she was my running partner my first year in St. Louis) and her 7 kids... oh my goodness, the kids got along great, and believe it or not Tami and I got a lot of catching up in:) The kids didn't really remember each other since we hadn't seen them in 4 years and they were almost all too little then. Levi was totally enamored with the other babies. He was totally taken by them... lots of staring done by Levi...:) It was such a sweet time to visit over a BIG glass of chai tea and homemade waffles. There are very few people that can relate to the experience of seminary living with a family... so it was such a treat to share time together. We are planning on meeting them for church tomorrow morning:)

From there we went to visit "Grandma Karen" my mom's dear friend. She just had a hip replacement done about 6 weeks ago. The kids couldn't stop raving about her yummy craisin butterscotch chip cookies.

Then today I was able to see my longest lifetime friend Rebecca. We were talking and came to the conclusion that we don't think we have known any friend longer. We grew up at the same church and I don't ever remember a time not knowing her:) While at lunch... I got a total bonus treat... my sweet friend Connie, from our old church walked in. (Connie, you are so sweet to always be so kind and forgive me for all my craziness and my lack of getting notes and emails out to you... It was SO SO nice to see you!!:)

Then later in the day my college roommate Samantha was able to stop by with her kids. Another wonderful visit. We headed over to my sister in law's who lived just across the yard for mochas:) Oh my, I am going to pack on a few during this trip... (seeing as how I just put down the spoon from my apple crisp at midnight... aiy yi yi:)

What is it about HOME?

The chill in the air, gray skies, leaves falling... it all just makes me feel at home. It is amazing how you can drive up and just feel that sense of peace and calm wash over you. I love Wisconsin... It is home... I could live anywhere and be happy and make the absolute most of it... but I am a northern girl at heart:) The kids and I were sad that we probably won't see snow up here... the boots were packed:) Oh well, really it has been such a blessing to have time with family and friends, to just relax and visit. And I am so happy that my hubby and the boys were able to have some time away together and with the other guys in the family... those are treasured memories too:)

So thankful tonight for the chance to come home and for family and friends!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The 2 little girlies above, Anna and her cousin Sophie, were born 12 days apart. They love to celebrate their birthdays together. So today was the day... It is so fun that their aunts and grandma and grandpa love to buy them matching outfits. They got beautiful Christmas dresses, and the sweaters they were wearing above. My sister in law treated them to get their nails painted together and we had a great party with the family tonight. What a fun, but beautifully relaxing night... I can literally see my hubby unwinding before my eyes! I love it! He was really needing this time. The last time he had vacation he literally spent every day but one flat on his back in bed sick with pneumonia... so this is so good for him.

The men will head out to the farm soon to go hunting... We are hoping that G comes back with lots to stock the freezer with this winter. I am doing some school with the kids and look forward to hopefully catching up with some friends. It is always a whirlwind though in many ways.... not enough time to see everyone. G and I hope to take the kids to the college where we met next week sometime.

The funeral on the way up was hard. My heart just breaks when I see someone whom I know will be missing their loved one soooooo deeply in the coming months. I can't help but realize the obvious that the holidays are right around the corner. I know there is great rejoicing that Matt is no longer suffering in this life, yet we are human, we will miss those we love. I appreciated the pastor that spoke to that point exactly. I was also so encouraged by the testimony to the humbleness of this man. We heard over and over again that he didn't want the funeral to be about him, but about his Savior and the saving power of Jesus. It was refreshing. The funeral was beautiful. The music was so special. It was just beautiful, but so sad and hard at the same time. Please continue to pray for them if you think of it.

I got to talk with another friend of mine from sem who has lost 2 children in recent years and it was so sweet just to visit with her. I loved how she said she feels like she is living with one foot here on earth and the other in Heaven. That is one of the sweetest things I find as a result of losing Samuel is that I long for Heaven in a different way then I ever did before; partially because he is there and that will be when I can see him again. Of course I long to see my savior face to face... but I also find myself longing for the day when the sorrows of this life and world will be no more... I am so thankful for this beautiful life the Lord has given me... but I long for my Heavenly home at the same time:)

Friday, November 11, 2011

Honestly, I am kind of a homebody and that has not been the case lately at all.

One of my least favorite things is leaving the house in disarray, which has totally been the case lately...

Between our new home school coop this year, which I love, and the boys playing basketball for the first time we are out and about a whole lot more than normal.

Yesterday I had my second lithotripsy done. I feel so much better today than I did last time the day after... but man, was I nauseous yesterday all day... ugh!!

I do not have a stent this time... praise God... that makes it a whole more comfortable also. I did a metabolic workup last week, so hopefully we can find out why I am making the kidney stones and maybe we will be able to have it better controlled. Glad these procedures are hopefully a thing of the past, at least for awhile.

We were blessed to get to go see Hope's birth mom today. We haven't seen her in over a year. It was a special visit. She herself was adopted out of the foster care system at 17... Just having had orphan Sunday last weekend at church... fatherless children have been on the forefront of our minds lately. Can you imagine not having parents; one of the most basic, most foundational things in our life and just not having it at all... for years upon years? It is mind boggling to me... Makes my heart hurt for those kids...

We are so thankful that her foster family chose to adopt her as their daughter just months before she would have aged out of the foster care system... She is really sweet... It is interesting now that Hope has more understanding. I know she doesn't fully get it at all... but we are trying to plant seeds of how uniquely and specially God brought her to us... We are so thankful that her birth mom chose to give her life... and that we get to experience it with her:)

We will be heading to funeral of a fellow seminary students of Greg's in a couple of days... He was 41... please pray for Matt's wife Janet and their 2 young girls... And it is this very thing that causes me to appreciate the little things about life... even though it has been so busy... we are living life, so thankful to have each other... so thankful for the Lord's faithfulness!

I love these lyrics from a JJ Heller song, When I'm with you. That is exactly how I feel these days... that my heart is so full it is about to break...

So full of love for my husband...

So full of love for my sweet 7 kids...

So full of love from my Savior and for my Savior!

I am so thankful for a acheing full hear... not an aching breaking heart these days... Thank you Jesus for healing my heart more and more each day and for filling it with a longing for Heaven that is undeniable!

About Me

I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom to 8 wonderful children. Our 5th child Samuel went from his home in my cozy womb to His Heavenly Fathers arms on October 29th 2008, just 1 day after his due date. We still miss him like crazy everyday.
We have since added our daughter, Hope Jubilee, to our family through domestic adoption, as of August 2010. In March of 2011 we were blessed with the birth of our son Levi, who is a miraculous gift we received through embryo adoption. And we anticipate the finalization of our adoption of Isaiah in early May 2013.
This is not the life we ever anticipated living, but we are in awe of God's plans for our family. We are living life surrendering to the will and plans of our Heavenly Father...
Our life is one filled with great joy as we daily live life, and as we look forward with great anticipation to being united with our Savior and reunited with our son Samuel in Heaven.

Followers

SAMUEL'S NAME IN THE SAND

A FAVORITE PICTURE OF OUR FIRST 5

ME AND MY HONEY

OUR LOUIS

OUR CALEB

OUR ANNA

OUR JOJO

OUR SAMUEL...SAFE IN HEAVEN

Baby Joel safe in Heaven

OUR SWEET BABY GIRL

Levi... our miracle through embryo adoption

Our Isaiah

Please Be Gentle By Jill B. Englar

Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.The sea I swim in is a lonely oneand the shore seems miles away.Waves of despair numb my soulas I struggle through each day.My heart is heavy with sorrow. I want to shout and screamand repeatedly ask 'why?'At times, my grief overwhelms me and I weep bitterly,so great is my loss.Please don’t turn away or tell me to move on with my life.I must embrace my painbefore I can begin to heal.Companion me through tearsand sit with me in loving silence.Honor where I am in my journey,not where you think I should be.Listen patiently to my story,I may need to tell it over and over again.It’s how I begin to graspthe enormity of my loss.Nurture me throughthe weeks and months ahead.Forgive me when I seemdistant and inconsolable.A small flame still burns within my heart,and shared memories may triggerboth laughter and tears.I need your support and understanding.There is no right or wrong way to grieve.I must find my own path.Please, will you walk beside me?

Remembering

RememberingGo ahead and mention my child,The one that died, you know.Don't worry about hurting me further.The depth of my pain doesn't show.Don't worry about making me cry.I'm already crying inside.Help me to healby releasing the tears that I try to hide.I'm hurt when you just keep silent,Pretending he didn't exist.I'd rather you mention my child,Knowing that he has been missed.You asked me how I was doing.I say "pretty good" or "fine".But healing is something ongoingI feel it will take a lifetime.~ Elizabeth Dent ~