Friday, April 09, 2010

I received some texts from friends about my behaviour on Facebook. I’m not sure who came up with the deduction that Facebook is a reliable source to measure out your happiness in the world. If I happen to know who the oxymoron is, I’m sure as hell that the person would end up being paralyzed for at least 6 months! The truth is, I’m nor happy or sad. Melancholic is more like it, considering that I spend much time gazing on several spots on the ceiling or sleeping like a log most of the days. I suppose I am tired of living and on the verge of giving up. Seeing an old friend who reminded me that that I have not accomplished much is really bad for my mental health. Not forget to mention an unexpected ear bashing from my sister which could be deterred should I pretended not to hear her phone call.

I was glad to be in contact with Oreoobserver through YM. He was a fellow blogger who had stopped writing. It was such a loss because his blog never failed to crack me up. Our YM chat reminded me why I started blogging in the first place. I wanted a space to write as well as pouring my heart out. Lately, things have changed and I don't update my blog much. Having another space to write on monthly basis causes me to neglect this space. You see, writing for children when you have turned into a cold-hearted witch is not good. You would either purposely include some bombastic words just to punish the lazy school kids and teachers or write monotonously. I suppose over the years I have became a more reserved person hence no more writings about my feelings. Perhaps, I have mastered the art of suppressing my feelings and have stopped wearing my heart on my sleeve. Hence, no more posting on how much I hate this certain people and what not.

For the past few months I have been involved with a new set of friends, which really is dynamic. Being with them makes me feel vibrant. Experiencing how trust is built, understanding their penchant, exchanging ideas; these are the reasons why at times I opt to spend much time with them. Like any other person who is newly integrated into a new group, one definitely couldn’t avoid being involved in unnecessary dramas. I drained most of my energy being involved in one. I’m not sure whether I have fully recovered. The trickiest part would be identifying what the other party is thinking of. You might be sweating all over while wondering if your silly remark would end up with you being lambasted by your new friends. You might also feel like wanting to commit suicide should you fail to detect any indications of their true feelings.

All I ever wanted is to hang out with friends for good food and lively chats. I suppose I shouldn’t get in too deep or asking for too much. Maybe it is actually best if I only watch the game from the sideline? As absurd as it sounds, I have started to believe that letting people know you only on the surface would make you a happier person.

I find shelter, in this way
Under cover, hide away
Can you hear, when I say?
I have never felt this way

Maybe I had said, something that was wrong
Can I make it better, with the lights turned on
Maybe I had said, something that was wrong
Can I make it better, with the lights turned on

Could I be, was I there?
It felt so crystal in the air
I still want to drown, whenever you leave
Please teach me gently, how to breathe

And I'll cross oceans, like never before
So you can feel the way I feel it too
And I'll mirror images back at you
So you can see the way I feel it too

Maybe I had said, something that was wrong
Can I make it better, with the lights turned on
Maybe I had said, something that was wrong
Can I make it better, with the lights turned on

Maybe I had said, something that was wrong
Can I make it better, with the lights turned on

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Cast your mind back to the days,
When I pretend' I was OK.
I had so very much to say,
About my crazy livin'.
Now that I've stared into the void,
So many people, I've annoyed.
I have to find a middle way,
A better way of livin'.

So I haven't given up,
That all my choices, my good luck...
Appear to go and get me stuck,
In an open prison.
Now I am tryin' to break free,
In a state of empathy.
Find the true and enemy,
Eradicate this prison.

No-one can take it away from me,
And no-one can tear it apart.
'Cause a heart that hurts,
Is a heart that works.
A heart that hurts,
Is a heart that works.

A heart that hurts,
Is a heart that works.
No-one can take it away from me,
No-one can tear it apart.
Maybe ' an elaborate fantasy,
But it's the perfect place to start.

'Cause a heart that hurts,
Is a heart that works.
A heart that hurts,
Is a heart that... works.

kekure: saw him live..hensem la compared to the director himself hehehehe

yasminthestoryteller: i'm not big on mat salleh looks, you see.

kekure: yeap i know..

yasminthestoryteller: but i think joon han more attractive than peter davis!

kekure: joon han is cute..finally met him last nite at mid valley..it was nice talking to him about sell out

yasminthestoryteller: ah, i've never met him, though

kekure: gosh i miss our screening with the q&a session..stumbled into him at starbucks..he was with peter davis..

yasminthestoryteller: too busy lah, mem

kekure: you're such a busy bee

yasminthestoryteller: how's the film doing?

kekure: last nite it had about 30 people inside..the most interesting bit is that all of us didn't move even though it was already end of credit..joon han said that it's quite slow

yasminthestoryteller: oh dear

kekure: lots of bloggers wrote good things about this movie..so hopefully it'd help a bit with the tickets sale

yasminthestoryteller: malay bloggers like it more than chinese bloggers, apparently

kekure: yeah..i agree with that..maybe they feel like joon han is mocking his own people?

yasminthestoryteller: that wasn't the complaint. they just didn't like it

kekure: strange..i thought chinese would like it more than malays..

yasminthestoryteller: yah, i know. every time a chinese person says they didn't like it,mcgarmott and allan will attack them! so funny!

kekure: hahaha..semangat kesukanan betul!

yasminthestoryteller: mcgarmott says sellout is the best malaysian film ever..my favourite malaysian film in the last 12 months is "budak kelantan"

kekure: i haven't seen budak kelantan..but i got to watch wayang..not that bad though..after the preview one of the bloggers said to me that it was quite hard to digest the humour

kekure: the bottomline is the humour is quite tricky to digest..if you like the first 15 mins then you'll like it lthe rest of the movie..if you cannot stand it then you'd leave the hall then

yasminthestoryteller: hmmm... maybe

kekure: Clement Chan wrote at 11:06

I watched this on the 9th May at night at Sunway Pyramid with my best friend - 11.45pm showtime. Great movie, had us laughing out loud from the start to the end, and the last scene is just genius.

But I have to draw your attention, Joon Han, of what happened when we went to GSC Pyramid. We arrived at around 11.30pm, saw that there were only two other movies available (can't remember what they are now). We went to the counter, asked for Sell Out!, and she told us that there were only front seats left, but I asked her to show me the seats anyway. And guess what? Turns out that there were more than ample seats - in fact when we entered the hall later, it was half empty.

I don't know if this is a conspiracy against local movies or what, but I thought that you should know. Last I read, Yasmin Ahmad had the same problem before - which is just disappointing imo.

yasminthestoryteller: talentime had same problem as gubra. but i malas nak komplen dah

kekure: do you think that there is a conspiracy here?

yasminthestoryteller: dunno

kekure: it really is perplexing..maybe they want the movie to last only 1 week so that they could have the hall to screen blockbuster movies

yasminthestoryteller: *maybe. it's all about money. but mukhsin no sabotage

kekure: mukhsin's ticket selling was good and perhaps there wasn't any blockbuster movie at that time

yasminthestoryteller: i think the only way to sell tickets is to make all-malay films

kekure: like bohsia jangan pilih jalan hitam?

yasminthestoryteller: yes. even though not guaranteed. jangan tegur didn’t do very well