Life as a wandering black cat

December 12, 2015

Rescue Pen Pals- Knowing Norman

Norman sent me a letter in the guise of a Crossword. It took some time to decipher as it was one of those annoying cryptic ones that I end up scrunching up and using as kindling for the fire, as well as having to rearrange it to make any semblance of sense. cat minds are odd things, even if i do say so myself.

Cryptic nonsense that only a cat can decipher

So, after managing to fine the answers to the clues, it still made little sense, but slowly a message appeared…

“Help Numps!

I am a handsome kitty, but a little bit of a sad sac at the moment who needs a bit of pep! Although I am with a lovely foster family I need a home of my own where I can sit under the sky, and play with a pois, or my little ball! That would be epic! I’m not really a fan of other cats as I find them to be tasteless oiks. I am quite discerning, hence my choice of cryptic message. Like any cat I need space to have a mad half-hour, a toy to play with, and somewhere to snooze the hours away most of the time!

I hope to write again in my new home!

Norman”

Well, that was what I got from it anyway…

Norman is, from my contacts at Keighley Cat Care, a quite affectionate little fellow. He likes to relax on a lap whilst watching TV, (I have yet to find out his favourite shows, but I can only assume it is either X-Factor, or Midsomer Murders). When not watching his favourite shows from a lap, he will be found snoozing on a bed, cushion, sofa, your face, or somewhere else cosy.

This place is cosy, therefore is owned by Norman

Like most cats, they require a bit of freedom. Norman likes to go outside, but not in large doses. The problem with going outside is he misses his TV shows, and sometimes his radio 2 programmes. Jaunts into the outside world are somewhat fleeting. Enough to release his wild feline side for a moment, before he comes inside and puts on his slippers and smoking jacket.

I go outside sometimes, but not for long. Could you pass me the tv guide and a cushion?

Despite Norman’s rather discerning exterior, and demeanour, he is not overly fond of other cat-things. For one they tend to try to steal his cosy spaces, or sometimes they will pat his favourite little ball under the sofa where he can’t get it, and the offending cats will seldom get it back for him. Some cats bear no responsibility for their actions.

This is the face Norman pulls when you suggest moving in with another cat

Anyone familiar with the first Star Wars movie “A New Hope”, it applies to Norman in 2 ways.

He is hopeful of a new home.

He likes to keep his Jedi-cat skills up to par by playing with this ball with his eyes closed, using The Force™, just like that Luke fellow.

Star Wars – A New Dope

You’ve all heard of Schrodinger’s cat? Well, Norman scoffs at such silly thoughts. This is [New Owners] Cat, and it is definitely NOT in the box. This is because the box is full, and Norman cannot get in it. The hooman in the background is clearly neglecting Norman here, as he is sat there, doing nothing. The box should be empty with Norman sat in it. All REAL humans know this. Norman needs a hooman who understands this.

Norman’s current foster hooman does not empty boxes for him. He has been reported to the UN for this crime

So, do you think you could help Norman get a new home? Do you know anyone who could do with a Norman in their life? Look at him… Adorable, comfortable, chilled, and a great thinker of the cat world. He will have a mad half-hour, but this is simply to jolt his existential thoughts loose.

Norman in his natural habitat

If you could give Norman a new home, or help find Norman a home please get in touch with Keighley Cat Care by;