5.21.2007

sbd

Just back from the Ear Nose and Throat doctor, and it turns out a broken nose is the least of my problems.

The CAT scan revealed that I have what is called "Silent Sinus Syndrome". It is completely unrelated to the break, and it would have likely not been caught until my face fell apart if Jake didn't ram his big head into me.

Basically, no oxygen is getting to my right maxillary sinus so it is dying inside the vacuum of my head, making my eyeball sink into my skull because there is nothing holding it up in my eyehole. I thought my eyes seemed a little bit sunken in since having Jake, but I tied it into the whole problem I have had with keeping weight on (I know, poor me. Call the waaamubulance) since getting pregnant. Never did I think that my face was failing me.

I didn't get print outs of my CAT scan, but after doing some independent internet research I found a site with pics of exactly what the inside of my head looks like. Pretty much like the brain of a stroke victim. All black and cold and void of vitality, waiting for the plug to be pulled. I feel it is important to note that my face looks nothing like the drawing of that guy. If it did, I would sell my house and move under the bridge and make a living collecting tolls from billy goats.

The doctor said it is very rare, and every symptom that I complained of regarding my nose is a key symptom of SSS. The blurry vision, difficulty breathing, nausea, tooth pain, and dark circles under my eyes made him think of this when I was in the office, but he didn't believe he would ever run across someone who had this twice in his career. Leave it to me. I never disappoint when it comes to medical oddities.

I thought about getting a second opinion before letting anyone dig around in my head, but after seeing the scan, talking to the doctor, and poking around in our medical library at work, it seems that they hit my diagnosis dead on. I scheduled with an eye doctor to do a pre-op screening (the earliest appointment was June 13) then they will schedule my surgery to open up some passages that will allow my sinuses to drain and air to get in there. They will be doing the procedure on both sides of my face since it looks like I have a touch of it on the left side too. No one seems to concerned about my eye falling down into the back of my throat over the course of a month so I guess I'll come out of this looking normal because they will just suck out all the broken eye bone pieces (they broke due to the vacuum suction going on in my head) and replace it with some false eye bones. Totally normal. Ish. What's that old saying about not being able to shine something or other?

And bonus! After the surgery my sinuses won't be the grossest things in the house anymore, as it should clear up the chronic sinusitis that I (and everyone near and dear to me) suffer from. I made Dave puke a little with the colossal loogey I spit in the sink this morning while he was brushing his teeth. It was awesome.

I swear to God I'm not a hypochondriac nor a truly sickly person. Strange things happen to me. It's part of my charm or something

I've always joked that I'm made up of spare parts and salvageables that sometimes don't always work together the way they should. I'm like a walking, talking, rebuilt, rehashed '76 Chevy with vinyl seats, shag floors, an AM radio, and life-like wood paneling on the sides.