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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

this past weekend boyfriend and i went out with our new best friend. we went to a local bar where we of course ran into about 300 thousand people that boyfriend went to high school with. is it just me, or is that shit fucking annoying? i seriously hate it. doesn't anyone freaking MOVE?!?!?! in all honesty though, if we were in my hometown, the same thing would happen. that doesn't make it any less annoying (or maybe it would because they would be my friends and i'm a hypocritical bitch sometimes?) moving on....

there was this potentially really cute girl at the bar. i say potentially cause i am 99.9% positive that she injected collagen into her lips, so then i kind of couldn't stop staring at her face because it was like this mash up of weirdness on what was supposed to be cuteness. public service announcement to all, already really cute women:don't inject shit into your lips when your face is already perfectly fine. because all that stuff in your mouth is going to do is make your entire face look all out of wack and people will stare at you, not because you're cute, but because they're trying to figure out why the hell you look so fucking odd.

so weird face came up to the 3 of us and asked if we had seen her passport. she lost it and was totally freaking out. well the guys wanted to fuck with her, so they started asking her questions like "what does it look like?" and "what language is it in?" ha! so then either boyfriend or new best friend asked her what country the passport was from. like, what was the country of issue. to which she went off on some freaking tirade and said things like, "it is from the united states of fucking america! what do you think? i am WHITE! do you see me? i am white! hello! white people are from the fucking united states! DUR!!!"

we were all dying. so then we started naming all the other countries where she could be from and you know..... still be white. we're not sure she got it because she still ranted on about her passport being from the US, and her being white.. and apparently we hold the corner on white people.

Friday, March 27, 2009

i'm curious what kinds of blogs you read... and why? are you drawn to certain people because they appeal to you? or do you find that you read the really popular bloggers because you feel like that's who you are "supposed" to be reading? or maybe if you read them, they'll read you back.. or OMG, link to you in one of their posts?

i don't always read or play nice with others bloggers. i find that some can be way too political, or advocate-y, or trying to change the world with every post. sometimes i think they just try too hard. maybe i'm just more simple minded? or maybe i don't want to think about these heavy things everytime i read a blog post. i'm totally not that kind of person. i've talked about this before- how i'm not out trying to change the world with my blog. i'm not trying to create a discussion that takes over blogland with every post. i'm just here to talk about my life... however uninteresting it may be.

there are also bloggers whom i have met in real life and we just didn't gel. it's true that i have met some "a-list" bloggers who i didn't really have anything in common with and couldn't see myself hanging out with on a personal level. so i don't read their blogs. i'm not trying to be a bitch, i just don't see the point. i'm sure they feel the same way. it's not that it's personal really- but you just don't LOVE every single person you meet. i don't see anything wrong with that.

i like to read people who i feel are real. they may not be entertaining or funny every time they post, but they write about their life. and life isn't always funny. life isn't always worded so damn eloquently. and i think i can just relate to thoese kind of people more. people who just come off to me as.. i don't know... normal, everyday, type people. someone i would actually hang out with in real life. those are the people i like to read. and they are the people i consider friends. i care about what they write. i care about what they have to say. i enjoy reading their blogs because i care about what is going on in their life. i'm invested. like meg from sleepy new mommy.. she may not have a million readers or get hundreds of comments on every blog post, but i like her. i like her as a person... she seems like someone i would be friends with, which is why i'm pissed i'm not going to blogher this year because SHE IS GOING! so y'all better take care of her for me.

what about you? what kinds of blogs do you read and why?

****can you tell me who i'm not reading? recommend a good, nice blog for me to read. tell me why you like it and all that good stuff? i definitely would like to read more REAL blogs, but i can't find them all on my own.help?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

all y'all said i was crazy via twitter DM and emails... but i know i'm fucking right. i feel like the 30 day shred is making my legs thicker. i felt the same way when i did p90x too. sure, my legs are probably becoming stronger and creating more muscle mass, but um... i don't necessarily want MORE muscle mass. i don't want thicker legs. i want thinner thighs. NOT ONES THAT LOOK LIKE THEY COULD CRUSH YOUR SKULL!!

my gf meg pointed me towards this link. it talks about body shapes and what excercises are good for that type of shape... what you should do to lose weight in your problem areas. not what you should do to ADD to the problem. makes sense to me that not every single person could use the same exact workout and see the same results. i mean, people might be losing a lot of weight doing something at first- but what about when you're just at your last 10 - 15 pounds? don't you think you need to focus on really specific excercises that address and work your problem areas? yeah, i do too.

i'm not being lazy dammit (curse you kristen). and i'm not making excuses. i just don't think that 1 workout is right for every single person who tries it. i do think that the 30 day shred is making me thicker. it might be muscle thickness, but still.. it's THICKNESS. and that's the last thing i want.

but then i see christina's results here and holy shit, i am SO proud of her and so excited for her and it's inspired me to not give up. maybe the "thickness" is temporary and will fade as long as i keep pushing through the workouts? i mean, i was super, super sore for the first 3 days but when i woke up on the 4th day, the soreness was completely gone. and i didn't stop or alter the workout, i just kept doing it.

i am determind to do a full 30 days of this and then i'll evaluate if it has made me genuinely thicker, or if i'm just a crazy person.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

but am i the only one who finds the majority of the giveaways on other people's blogs a royal pain in the ass anymore?!?!

it's like being in high school again. "you can win this if you write a 350 word essay on why the kids in america think it's okay to beat or get beaten by their significant other." that's not a real essay (that i am aware of), but you get my point, right? and then there are the 5000 ways to enter.. you can do this, and this, and don't forget to do that and for a super entry, do this! and it becomes a fucking full time job just to enter a damn giveaway.

look, i try to only enter contests that i REALLY want to win, or that i think i could genuinely use the prize. i won't enter something just for the sake of entering it. but there are contests and shit i could really use and i'd really like to win, but i do not have time to write a flipping essay about why i want to win it. so i just don't enter because really.. i'm not that inclined to think up some fascinating reason as to why i'm better than everyone else entering the contest and why i should win.

i do understand that some of the reasons for putting these crazy parameter's on the giveaway's is to have the people who really want to win, be the ones who enter. and there have been some really amazing giveaway's where people have had to write in about why they could use it, what they would do with it, and they had to pay part of the prize forward. doing that some of the time, is great. but it seems like that's what happens now all the time.

when did giveaway's get so convoluted? what happened to people entering a contest and the winner being drawn at random? why is that such a bad thing all of a sudden in blogland? why is everything so complicated anymore?

i don't get it, so someone please explain it to me. you'll win nothing for your comment.

Monday, March 23, 2009

in the car yesterday, blake got creative and started talking about some super rich guy coming and buying our house from us. he said we would get so much money for our house (dies laughing) that we each get to choose 2 houses and a condo. and while i'm writing this, i cannot believe i didn't think outside the US, because dur ya big idiot self, you totally forgot about getting a pretend place in italy! sometimes i'm stupid.

so i got a house on the beach in southern california... a plantation style home somewhere in the south.. and an apartment in new york!

blake got a house in san diego... a house in tahoe.. and a condo in colorado!

boyfriend wanted a house where we currently have a house.. and then a ranch house up in northern (more north than where we are) california.. and a condo in chicago.

after more discussion and being excited for all our houses, boyfriend realized that i would never come visit his houses. and really, with a beach house to live in, a tahoe lake house to visit, and my place in new york... why the hell would i go to northern california?!?!?

right. i wouldn't. i did tell him that i would visit his condo in chicago though. that sounds like fun!

so what about you? if you could have 2 houses and 1 condo, where would they be?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

and i only know this because he called me freaking out because he couldn't put the blade back in. and then he started stuttering and getting his story all fucked up, so then i had to ask him exactly what happened.

but you guys... my instant thought when he first called me to tell me about the opened knife? i figured the stupid dog knocked it off the table and blake found it on the floor.

did you read that?

MY FIRST REACTION WAS THAT MY PRECIOUS ANGEL PERFECT CHILD WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING SO STUPID AS TO PICK UP A CLOSED KNIFE AND OPEN IT. i assumed the fucking dog knocked it off a table.... and it FELL open.. and blake just found it that way.

i feel like an asshole.

like one of those idiotic parents who doesn't think that their kid does stupid things. the person who first gives her son the benefit of the doubt, until she catches him lying and finds out the truth.

and that's what i'm most mad at. not that he was curious and wanted to see the knife (although i'm fucking mad at that, do not get me wrong). not even that he lied (although i'm really fucking mad at that one too)... but that i'm a flipping idiot. that i just assumed he did no wrong and the knife was just lying open and blake was perfectly innocent.

right now i feel like one of the parents of the columbine kids. "oh dad, i'm just doing a science project in the garage... don't pay attention to all the bomb like things i'm making- it's for school.""okay son, cool."

i do not want to be one of those parents. blake isn't a bad kid, but he isn't perfect and he doesn't make the best decisions all the time, and i don't want to pretend like he does, or he always will.

sometimes this parenting stuff is really hard. and do not get me started on the mom guilt associated with this one, folks.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

a lot of us say things in the presence of others that we don't really think about. i've done it. i'm sure i still do it. i think that when people are passionate about something, they just say everything they think and feel about it, without truly thinking who they're talking too.

earlier today i was in a room where people got really off topic and started talking about things that got them really riled up. they started to name call the people on the other side of their argument. and i kept attempting to interject by saying that the people on the other side feel just as strongly about their beliefs and opinions as they did theirs. but none of it mattered. they couldn't see that they were doing the same thing that the other side does. they couldn't see that they were what they claimed to "hate."

it's one thing to think your beliefs are right for you- it's another thing to think they are right for everyone. when did we become a society so full of ourselves, that our opinions are the only ones that matter? they said so many offensive things in that room, not once even considering that i might be on the other side of their argument. it's okay to name call and be a complete jackass, as long as you do it behind those people's backs, right?

i'm happy that people are passionate about things in life. truly, i am. but the way that we go about it- the way all sides go about it- it's so ugly. yet each side thinks they're the non-ugly side. they think they're superior.

and it's just sad really. because how are we supposed to improve our lives.... and live together on this planet, if we think we're above anyone who has a different opinion than we do?

his wife worked at disney when i worked there. i didn't know her, but i'll be damned if all the pictures of her don't look familiar. she was stunning. surely i'd seen her on campus at some point in my 5 years there. surely.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

you know the whole world is doing the 30 day shred, right? you're probably tired of reading about it.. especially if you're NOT doing it.

suffer through this one, k? cause maybe you can help me out even if you're NOT doing the shred.

i.feel.thicker.for reals. i feel like my legs are getting BIGGER. not muscular (even though they feel stronger) but THICKER. my gf meg has me convinced that this happens at first... that sometimes you get bigger and then you start to lose or tone up.

so i'm asking you land of blogs. is she lying to me so that i'll bust out of my jeans, or is she right?!

Monday, March 09, 2009

blake asked me this morning what i was going to give him if he got all A's on his report card. i think i laughed and then said something like "i dunno. a HUG. what the heck do you mean?" and then he informed me that his friends at school get $50 bucks if they get straight a's.FIFTY BUCKS!i definitely laughed at that. and then i told him that i was not going to pay him to get good grades. i informed my little wanter face that he should get good grades all on his own. that it is his JOB to work hard and get the best grades he can. and that i'm not going to reward that with money.

i did tell him that if he brought home all a's, we'd go out to dinner, to wherever he wanted and maybe we'd get ice cream. i'm a big spender.

i believe in rewarding your kid for certain things. but paying them for stuff they should do? i mean, shouldn't they try to get a's in school? that's like me giving him money for going to bed at night. thanks for going to sleep blake, here's 5 bucks.

do you pay your kids for good grades? if not, what DO you bribe them to do?

Friday, March 06, 2009

i am writing you this note because i have so many thoughts about you and chris brown that i can't get them out of my head. (blame parentingourchildren for getting me started on this rampage). as more news has come to light about what really happened that night, i am horrified. i wanted to think that cb hit you once or twice (not that that is okay, but i wanted to believe it wasn't as brutal as it was). but after reading this deposition, it's obvious that he beat the living shit out of you. like a crazy person. numerous, NUMEROUS times.

you know rihanna, it sucks that this happened so publicly. now the entire world is in your very personal business, when it isn't any of theirs. i know that has to make all of this so much more difficult because every move and decision you make, we get to watch. and judge. and it's not fair really. and it makes me sad for you.

but even sadder is knowing that you're back together with him. the reality of this is, you were given a golden opportunity here to really stand up and empower women and girls everywhere. i know how hard it is to stay away from someone after they hit you. i know that you want to believe their apology, their "it will never happen again" and it's hard leave someone you love.. even when you know you should. but all of those things- EXACTLY THOSE THINGS- are why you should have talked about this publicly.

you could have taken this opportunity to really speak out against domestic violence and abuse. you could have talked about how you were feeling. how conflicted you were. how truly hard it is to stay away from someone you love and care about. you could have really talked openly about your love for this boy, and even with that love and all your feelings, you know you can't go back to him. you could have talked about the conflict- because you can't just turn your heart off. you don't stop caring about someone, even when they've give you every reason too. abuse is scary and a really emotionally tough thing to deal with. outsiders will always be able to look at a situation and think how easy it must be to leave it. but they don't understand everything else that is wrapped up in it. like the guilt and the blame you put on yourself. as if it's your fault. if you hadn't done "this" or said "that" it never would have happened. but that just goes back to society blaming the women for the bad things that happen to them. it's fucked up and it's wrong. yet we allow it and support it everyday.

it would have taken a lot of strength to be that open about something so personal, but god, it could have helped SO many people. you could have taught those young girls who look up to you that it's NOT okay to stay with someone who hits you. that we don't "stand by our man" no matter what he does. because sometimes, what he does is wrong. but the sad truth is, you just taught them the exact opposite. and i'm sure you want to tell everyone to mind their own business, and make their own decisions, but sometimes things don't work that way. who knows, maybe your actions have reinforced beliefs for some already strong and self reliant girls. maybe they will look at you and think you're weak and never want to be like that? but in today's society of girls, i'm not so sure.

i just wish you would have talked about this struggle. i wish you would have talked about your WANT to get back together with the boy you love, but recognized that it would be the wrong thing to do. it's hard to have your mind win the battle against your heart. i think everyone would have really been on your side, and been pulling for you. and for all the women who have been victims of domestic violence, they could have related. everything you talked about and expressed would have probably made them feel more normal. and probably like less of a loser for feeling conflicted, or feeling certain emotions. they could have learned that those emotions were "normal" for a situation like this. you probably could have helped eachother. it's just sad. all of it. everything about it.

the worst part? when he hits you again, everyone is going to say you should have known. no one is going to feel bad for you the next time. they're going to all say you were an idiot for staying with him in the first place. that will probably suck for you.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

i got a seething text from boyfriend last night talking about a lady who was telling her kids that he was a "redneck, hick, dipshit." of course i never take anyone at their word, so i did what i always do... told him to tell me the whole story. asked what really happened. because i can't believe that someone would say something like that about someone they don't even know. but that's just because i believe for the most part that people are genuinely good hearted and not fucking judgemental assholes. *stop laughing, it's true. i tend to give people the benefit of the doubt FAR more than they ever deserve. if you really knew me, you'd know that about me.*basically, the jist of the story is this. boyfriend has some stickers on his truck. and apparently one of the ladies kids asked her what one of the stickers meant. the mom (not knowing that boyfriend was IN his truck and could hear everything she was saying) told her son that people who had that sticker were losers. they were idiots who liked guns and liked to shoot things. that sticker made him a stupid ass hick... a redneck... and a dipshit.

listen, i hate guns and i'm not here to get into an anti/pro gun discussion. that is not what this post is about. and trust me when i tell you that that is a whole other can of fucking worms i am not ready to discuss.

my whole point is that is this what we're teaching our kids? is this how we're raising them? to call people who have different beliefs and opinions slandering names? do we really tell our kids that someone who likes guns is a loser and an idiot, without even knowing a single fucking thing about who they truly are as a person? we completely judge based upon a sticker they have on their truck now? that one sticker defines everything about that individual? granted, i think that if you put certain stickers on your car, people are going to judge you based on them. people are going to form an opinion about you. i know that i do when i see stickers on people's cars declaring their political or religious beliefs. i usually roll my eyes and think that type of shit belongs at home, not on a driving billboard. (that's why all my stickers are surf ones. you can form the opinion that i'm beachy, surfery, and belong in the water. in so cal. and that i'm awesome. and you'd totally be right. about all of those!)

moving on...

i'm just horrified that someone who would have that opinion, would pass it along to their child. i'm really not offended (or maybe surprised is a better word) that someone thinks that about boyfriend's sticker, or that they personally have that opinion and those thoughts. BUT can't you explain something you don't like or believe in in a non-offensive way to your child? does it have to be in a way that totally assassinates my husband's character and lumps him into 1 large group of dumbasses? i mean, that's where it's really sad. because we influence our kids. our beliefs become their beliefs. and that lady just basically gave her kid the okay to completely judge someone based on a sticker. and she also told him it was okay to call him names without knowing him. and i just don't get how that is right? how is that okay?

and what if her kid KNOWS my kid?!?? is that kid going to go up to blake and say "my mom said your step dad is a stupid ass hick." blake would be like, "what the heck does that even mean?!??!"

the best part? we will most likely see this stupid bitch (yes i'm calling her names without knowing her) at the baseball field. and i can't fucking wait.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

here is a list of things i don't like about it. yes, i have a list. and yes, i haven't even done day 3 of the workout yet. suck it.

1- i still hate that you cannot fast forward through this chicks stupid speech. i don't need to hear it more than once. ever. and then it has some intro crazy thing you can't ff through either. seriously jillian? get with the menu option program.

2- the ONLY thing sore on my body is my legs. they are extremely fucking sore. i hate that i have stairs in my house because i almost tumbled down them 10 times last night. my legs are not my friends right now.

2a- i don't think she focuses enough on your abs at all. my tummy is not sore. in the slightest. and i feel like my entire midsection (including my ass) is being ignored.

2a.1- i'm not sure how effective this workout is for the rest of your body. granted, i'm still on level 1, so maybe i'll be eating my words once again when i start another level. but so far, i feel like i'm kicking my legs ass, but not the rest of my body.

3- i still can't wrap my head around the fact that 20 minutes is enough of a workout time. it seems like right when i start to get momentum and feel like i could keep going, it's over. and i feel like i should hit some machine or something when it's all done.

the end.

ps- have you seen my new blog layout?! what do you think of it? i busted my ass trying to format it similiar to my website, so let me know if things aren't working, or if they're funky, etc. THANKS!

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

this is what kristen and the 30 day shred has done to me. i now have a code name. and stats. and i'm kind of scared of myself.

Code Name: Bootay Licious

Tag Line: get in my way and my ass might eat you.

Goal: to tone the hell up. i'm not really concerned with what i weigh, so much as how i feel in my clothes and how i'm shaped. i want to look like my thighs and ass didn't consume a small child on my way out the door.

Diet Plan: same eating plan as the last 6 or so weeks. it's a modified version of south beach (which basically means i still eat a bunch of junk food).

Rules: try really hard to cut out the junk. good luck with that self.

Shred Plan: starting on level 1, rotating 3 and 5 pound hand weights depending on the excercise. working out mon- fri and not on weekends.

where ster puts foot in mouth: is really hoping that 20 minutes feels like enough of a workout.

back from day 1 of workout.

you know, i really assumed that since i did the p90x, that i was at least in some kind of shape. i figured that doing only 20 minutes of this stuff was not going to feel like a good workout. i thought i would have to do it twice each day. seriously. i figured that after level 1, day one was done- i'd have to rewind and just do it again.

i'm.an.idiot.

the workouts are intense. they are really concentrated and even when you're working on your arms, you're working on your legs. it's a good workout. it's hard. your legs will shake. your arms will feel like they are about to give out at any moment. my abs? well, they're fine. that bitch has to bring me something tougher to hurt my abs. ha. (is askeered of level 3). i sweated more during this 20 minutes than i do working out on the elliptical for an hour of interval training. no joke.

walking back to my office after the workout? i almost fell going down the stairs. i had to literally HOLD ON to the rail.

what i like about this so far? that it's only 20 minutes and it feels like it's a million. it's tough. you feel like you're going to die. that was my biggest complaint about p90x. those workouts are an hour long. and the yoga x was 90 minutes!! that is TOO long. who has that kind of time? and if you do, who wants to workout for that long?! not me. i hate working out as it is. so yeah... it begins. 30 day shred (mine will probably take longer since i'm not doing weekends).

what i don't like? you can't freaking fast forward to just start the damn workout already. you have to listen to her go through this stupid talk with you. i've heard it once, don't need to hear it again- i'm just ready to go. and i can't.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

hi there winner of the houseyou most likely cannot even afford to live in! i'm ster! can i ask you something? a small favor really... when you get your house and you look around at all the stuff, do you think you could go ahead and part ways with a few small things? i promise you won't miss em. and i want them baaaaaaaaaaaaaad. and i'd be really grateful! i mean, i'd go buy them myself, but they're fucking $120 bucks each at ethan allen. and well, while i really like them and really want them and stuff..... i can't justify spending 120 bucks for ONE (plus, i want way more than just one).

your new bathroom? it has like 6 of them! SIX!!! you don't need 6 of those things. hell, you don't even need one. but me? i need em all! okay fine, i want them all. but really, i'll settle for four. see how reasonable i am? i'm such a good compromiser.

i suppose i should show you what is it that i want from you, eh? ok! well it's these.

that's right. my big fuss is over candle holders. i can't help it! i think they're so pretty and i love them and i want them. and well, look at your new house and all the new amazing things you got that came with it (don't look at your tax bill, don't look at your tax bill).

so i'll just wait here for your okay to come fetch my new candle holders. just go ahead and post in the comments when you want to invite me over. i'll be there in a jif. and thanks, you're really swell.