Sad mom and wife.

by Francine
(NY)

My beautiful 24 year old was killed with a friend while walking her dog just before the worst of Hurricane Sandy hit. I tried to reach her for hours and worried she was hit by a tree but friends said the power was probably out and her cell died. In the morning the police came to notify me. It was the worst moment of my life. 4 months before, out of the blue, my husband of 35 years was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer. we were trying to cope with that shock when my daughter died. My husband died a month later. I was on automatic pilot going through both funerals and trying to be there for my poor son.Many people think I am doing better, that's becuase they dont know how much pain I am still in even though I tell them. I am so sad and lonely and in disbelief. I can't stop thinking about my poor daughter and what she is missing out on and how I will never share her wedding and children with her.

Comments for Sad mom and wife.

I know how it is to be knocked down with tragedy more than once. My fiancee (the only man for me) passed, I had the death of a younger sibling and then my beloved mom.

Others do not have a clue so try and take their advice with a pinch of salt. So many have told me what to do when they have never had to cope with so much tragedy.

I have no family left who I am close to. My strengh comes from my belief that my mom is watching and would want me to go on.

Your son and you are tragically sharing the same grief journey. Let him talk - he has already lost one parent - he needs you to keep well and survive.

I hope your grief becomes easier and your son blesses you for your courage with his love.

RX

Aug 25, 2013

Sad mom and wifeby: Anonymous

Thank you. I am sorry for your loss as well. I have a grief counselor i see weekly and a support group once a month for people who lost you g adult children suddenly. I have become close with the mom whose son died with my daughter ( we didnt know each other before) Too sadnes: your feelings are your feelings.. No matter if you have had losses like mne or not. I hope you can get some support to help you

Aug 25, 2013

Sad mom and wifeby: Doreen U.K.

Francine I am so very sorry for your loss of your daughter and now your husband of 35yrs. This is such a sad double loss. You are expected to be in mourning for however long you need to. Families just think you can get over a loss like this soon. They are wrong. Just wait till they go through a loss then they will think differently. Just be yourself. Express how you feel to people who can be trusted to support you and not judge you.To lose a child and a husband both very significant members of a family is the very worst tragedy one can experience. Try and see a grief counsellor who will be able to help you cope with the overlap of two losses in short duration.I lost my husband of 44yrs. to lung cancer 15 months ago and this is a long and hard journey to go through. I have 3 Adult children and always worry about them and safety. I don't want to have to bury any of my children. It would all be too much for me to bear. I have the memories of a horrendous 3yrs. cancer journey to grieve also and this will take some time to get these horrible memories out of my mind/system.It is not easy sitting with your husband and he knows he is going to die and there is nothing you can do to comfort him or change what is going to happen. They will be grieving also losing time with their loved ones. This is such a CRUELTY of death. All the shared family times of weddings, holidays and family gatherings all gone.My husband lost out on seeing his two darling grandchildren grow up. This hurts me because I know what he is missing out on. We will be sad for a long time. If you have good family and friends to help walk with you through this grief it will help you heal better. I had good support, which is now depleting. Hopefully in time you will start to heal and life won't look so bad. But, you will never get your life back in the same way. Two very important people in your life have gone and this is going to be a more difficult grief to Heal from. May God comfort and strengthen you and your son and help you recover from your loss and find a way back into a world where you can be at Peace and find some meaning in life.

Aug 24, 2013

sadnessby: Anonymous

I am so sorry. I was feeling down and came on this website because there is always a sense of comfort. I read your post and felt shame...you have so much to deal with. I wish you peace. God bless.