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Hah, there's a vague answer. She does seem sort of closed in on herself, but that could be just because she's trying to juggle a thousand things at once. And she's on the phone... INTPs don't like phones so much.

The INTP I know (she's still young, but...) always has a very individual style - she won't be wearing the latest fashions, or anything, but she knows what she likes and always looks good. Her style isn't so elegant, but that's not to say another INTP's wouldn't be.

It's not exactly a typical INTP's appearance, though. Looking at the photo, I dunno. My first thought was ESxx of some description, though she's wearing mostly dark colours (ISxx?) and seems to be sort of disorganised (xNxP)?

Lol, okay, I'm making wild guesses based on nothing more than whims in my head. Stopping now!

So maybe that's the case, here. INTJMom's acquaintance may be "courting" INTJMom.

That sounds quite possible. She's decided it's worth the time to get to know the mother of a good friend of her son's, and judging from what INTJMom mentioned, it seems like this other woman made a very deliberate move to come talk to her and have a conversation.

Originally Posted by FineLine

And it's my experience that INTPs can "socialize" quite well if they choose. They've got the brainpower to figure out what they have to do. It's just a question of whether they decide to make "socializing" a priority in their lives as they get older.

Absolutely. They can, they just normally choose not to expend their energy in that area. I watch my INTP friend - she's only 20, but she's perfectly amiable and pleasant and interested when she has to deal with bosses or customers (or the like). They'd never guess she might be grumbling behind the facade. But I imagine an extra 30 years of practice would enable an INTP to initiate and steer a conversation like an Extrovert might without too much stress.

The more balanced people are, the more difficult they are to type. As people get older, they presumably become more balanced. I generally find it more difficult to type people in their 40's or above.

I see no reason to doubt that this lady is an INTP. I could see myself doing and saying the same things given a similar situation.

I was going to say what you said, Javo.

My INTP boyfriend is very warm and friendly and will walk up to people to engage in spirited conversation. His facial and body language also seems very feeling, however I know he's a deep Ti. I think he has developed this side of him well.

-Sandy I - 75% N - 55% F - 55% P - 61%Enneagram 4w5

There is love... in the red lettersThere is truth... in the red letters

Hah, there's a vague answer. She does seem sort of closed in on herself, but that could be just because she's trying to juggle a thousand things at once. And she's on the phone... INTPs don't like phones so much.

The INTP I know (she's still young, but...) always has a very individual style - she won't be wearing the latest fashions, or anything, but she knows what she likes and always looks good. Her style isn't so elegant, but that's not to say another INTP's wouldn't be.

It's not exactly a typical INTP's appearance, though. Looking at the photo, I dunno. My first thought was ESxx of some description, though she's wearing mostly dark colours (ISxx?) and seems to be sort of disorganised (xNxP)?

Lol, okay, I'm making wild guesses based on nothing more than whims in my head. Stopping now!

The lady in the photo is Kate Beckinsdale and an INTP female here had a picture of her for an avatar at one time so I thought maybe it was because she could relate to her and her style. So possibly K. B. is an INTP. If she is, she reminds me of the other lady's style.

I looked at Merkw's list of INTPs. The Olsen twins were on there. They seemed to have a similar style, too.

Mature INTPs can "court" someone quite effectively. I know a female INTP, age 45 or 50, who tends to be very quiet, intellectual, and uninvolved in what's going on around her when she's in "neutral" mode. But when she decides it's worth her while to target someone and court their interest, or when she is in a circle of friends and decides it's worth her time to get involved and participate, then she can turn into the exact opposite of her usual manner. IOW, she can become very chatty, excited, energetic, and opinionated. But after seeing her like that, it's funny to see her shut down and become quiet and uninvolved again. It's like night and day. But that's just who she is.

Same thing with male INTPs. I knew a male INTP in his early 20s who was extremely quiet, intellectual, closed-off, and kind of irritable and rigid in his interactions with others. A couple decades later, I ran into him when he was "courting" a boss for employment, and he was chatty, voluble, pleasant, etc. But once he got the job, he tended to settle back a bit into more of a monotone, uninvolved mode. Still, he had become very "socialized" in the couple decades that I didn't see him (he had gotten married and had some kids), and he could really turn on the ease and charm and be quite outgoing when he chose.

So maybe that's the case, here. INTJMom's acquaintance may be "courting" INTJMom. That is, the new INTP acquaintance may value the fact that her child is friends with INTJMom's child, so she is making it a priority to get to know INTJMom personally. With time, if INTJMom and the acquaintance continue to get to know each other, the acquaintance may eventually settle back more into a relaxed state that is more INTP-appearing. But for now, the acquaintance may be really turning on the charm in order to build a personal bond that's important to her (for the sake of her child, or whatever).

Again, just a random observation. Being a little older than many posters here, I sometimes get to see an aspect of personality types that others haven't yet seen: How personality types develop as they hit middle age.

And it's my experience that INTPs can "socialize" quite well if they choose. They've got the brainpower to figure out what they have to do. It's just a question of whether they decide to make "socializing" a priority in their lives as they get older.

[Edit:]

Mempy and JAVO have it right (and I'm sure others, as well; I haven't read the thread in its entirety). What I said above is basically the same thing that Mempy and JAVO are saying, albeit from a different angle.

I agree with you. If our sons were not friends, we would not have spoken to each other.

I agree with you. If our sons were not friends, we would not have spoken to each other.

I'll just add that there's nothing wrong with "courting" someone for a specific reason.

For most people, reaching out to a stranger and making friends is kind of risky and requires an effort. So it's natural for individuals to invest their social energy in other individuals with whom they already have some kind of incidental bond: Our kids know each other, we work in similar fields, we seem to have some interests in common, I like your fashion style and would like to learn more about you, etc.

Having a pre-existing incidental bond and/or some common interests provides a solid foundation for the friendship bond and helps it grow stronger more quickly.

I only type 20 wpm and I'm not good at describing things, so there's no way I could give you enough information for you to fully judge her type. My question was not what type is she. My question was could she really be an INTP because as I said, she was somewhat warm and pleasant.

Oh. But you didn't tell how pleasant and warm. Extremely warm/effusive, or just sort of calm, pleasant, and kind in her approach? I would be more likely to believe the latter to be INTP than the former.

As long as there is one INTP female here who says she could behave in such a warm manner, then I am satisfied this lady is probably an INTP like she says.

Why? I really don't get that sort of thing at all. Are you just the sort who doesn't like to question things much, and prefers to believe what's said unless it throws up a lot of red flags? Sigh.

I think I'd like to get to know her better. INxx women are so hard to find in real life. And she knows about MBTI!

Well, if she's interesting, enjoys talking to you, and likes what you like, then it really doesn't matter what type she is... you should just be friends with her if she comes across as nice and you feel like she's a good person.

Oh. But you didn't tell how pleasant and warm. Extremely warm/effusive, or just sort of calm, pleasant, and kind in her approach? I would be more likely to believe the latter to be INTP than the former.

Sorry. My mistake. I apologize.

Why? I really don't get that sort of thing at all. Are you just the sort who doesn't like to question things much, and prefers to believe what's said unless it throws up a lot of red flags? Sigh.

I am the way I am. I prefer not to call people liars or assume they don't know what they're talking about when I don't even know them.

In case you are unaware of it, I find your sigh highly insulting. You hurt my feelings. You are not any better than me, only different. My way of interacting with people is not inferior to yours. Anyway, why do you think I started this thread? Because I thought she might be wrong. I asked her if she was sure... etc. etc. I have a lot of respect for your knowledge, but I don't think it means that you can abuse me all you want.

Well, if she's interesting, enjoys talking to you, and likes what you like, then it really doesn't matter what type she is... you should just be friends with her if she comes across as nice and you feel like she's a good person.

You're right. It doesn't matter what type she is. I'm not sure she meets all that criteria.

I am the way I am. I prefer not to call people liars or assume they don't know what they're talking about when I don't even know them.

In case you are unaware of it, I find your sigh highly insulting. You hurt my feelings. You are not any better than me, only different. My way of interacting with people is not inferior to yours. Anyway, why do you think I started this thread? Because I thought she might be wrong. I asked her if she was sure... etc. etc. I have a lot of respect for your knowledge, but I don't think it means that you can abuse me all you want.

I didn't say I was better than you. I don't think that, but I felt frustrated that you wanted to start with the assumption that the person was correct if it were possible. It made me feel like the normal process of evaluating type was being dismissed, and that was what bothered me.

I wasn't even discussing your way of interacting with people, which I have no problem with. I was discussing your way of interpreting the information you had. I actually think you have a very good way of interacting with people.

I also don't think it's calling someone a liar to think that they may not be correct about something. Even if they know what they're talking about, they might have misjudged for one reason or another. That's all I mean.

My INTP boyfriend is very warm and friendly and will walk up to people to engage in spirited conversation. His facial and body language also seems very feeling, however I know he's a deep Ti. I think he has developed this side of him well.

My INTP husband has a friendly exterior and a pretty well-developed Fe. He was a very popular and effective PTA President. He's in his late 40s and much less Introverted than when we met. His inclination still is to avoid crowds and large social occasions, but he's a warm, natural host. He probably wouldn't go up to someone for the purpose of meeting the parent of one of his kid's friends, but would happily carpool, watch said friend for an afternoon, make dinner if someone were sick, etc.

Maybe the woman in question is close on the T/F split. It's also possible she sensed a kindred N and wanted to meet you for yourself.