Friday, July 19, 2013

We (and other adopting families) get asked all sorts of questions. Since I thought maybe some of you might have the same or similar questions, I'll try to answer one every now and then on here.

Today's question--If you can't afford to adopt them without fundraising, how will you afford to care for them once they are home?

To answer this, I would like... to ask you to consider the cost of giving birth to a child. There are doctor's visits (monthly, then every 2 weeks and then weekly) for the entire pregnancy--more if you have any sort of complications. There are costs of tests, ultrasounds, and medications (if you need any.) There is at least one hospital stay (assuming you are like most people and give birth in a hospital) which also involves paying all the doctors who assist in your birth--a midwife, an OBGYN, anesthesiologist, the cost of the epidural or other pain killers, the cost of a C-section/surgeon (if needed).

And those are all just medical costs--and not even all of them. Then you have car seats, cribs, play pens, clothes, high chair, swings, strollers, bottles, pacifiers, diapers, wipes, etc, etc. Now, if you add up all those medical fees (if you get statements from those places or your insurance company, add them up some time) the cost of childbirth is around the same, if not more if you needed surgery or a NICU stay or whatnot, as an adoption. But do you pay for all of that out of your own pocket? NO. Why not? Because someone helps you. In this case, it's health insurance. You pay a small amount and the insurance takes care of the rest. As far as all the equipment the baby needs, you typically don't pay for that either--you have a baby shower and register for what you want and others buy it for you.

But since you probably don't have the $20K-$30K it takes to birth a child, would you think that it means you can't afford to care for the child after it's born? Of course not! The same goes for us and adoption. I don't know of anyone who has that kind of money just laying around.

BUT I do know we can care for Jocelyn and Lanie's needs once they are home. In fact, we've had to prove that with all sorts of bank statements and tax returns and other financial forms that get reviewed like crazy and then reviewed some more to make sure we can. We've had to prove we have health insurance and doctors nearby who can care for any of their special needs. We've had to prove exactly how much money is left over from each paycheck after we pay our bills and that we have enough to pay copays for doctors and feed and clothe them. How many of you have had to do that before you were allowed to get pregnant? None, because it's just assumed that if you are pregnant, you will be able to care for your child. But in case you can't, you can apply for government assistance. We have to prove that we could care for her without that.

So while there is no insurance company or whatnot to help us "birth" our next child, we are applying for adoption grants, selling everything we can, saving every penny we can to put towards it, making toys to sell, and begging and pleading with others to give to help us to get them home. If everyone gives just a little, no one has to give a lot.

Our girls have been waiting for a long time. At 6 and 2 it seems so long to wait to have a mama and daddy to call their own. If you want to help, please let me know! There are so many ways everyone can help ! Thank you!