critical commentary on adult production

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PVV – wide open (work)spaces!!

Porn has corrupted me. Seriously.

I have been studying adult content and working in and on and around the adult production industry for so many years now that I have become pretty desensitized to it… well, actually, a better way to say it is that the world of adult and all its charms have become, for the most part, fairly normal to me. For example…

Like most people, I have a small library of my favorite DVDs on display in my living quarters. But one likely difference between me and most people: my obsessively alphabetized library has Evil Angel’s The Fashionistas (2003) filed next to Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) and Wicked Pictures’ Sleeping Around (2006) next to Sleepless in Seattle (1993)… among many others.

I am currently working on a series of pieces about porn parodies, and the other day I was watching some trailers in a coffee shop. The guy sitting next to me kept looking over, and it took me a minute to realize that it wasn’t me he was checking out. I was reviewing something just last week, and somewhere in the midst of a bang-out scene I squealed with what I can only imagine was boy-confusing joy. BCFJ came charging over, likely expecting something dirty, only to be greeted with a deconstruction of some cute panties and some really (really!) cute shoes one of the girls was wearing. Now granted, the panties came off before she did her DP, but that’s not the point.

I have many many far more graphic examples of this general phenomena, but I’ll spare you. The point is that adult imagery has long since become a part of my daily life; and although much of it is interesting and significant, porn in my workplace is not titillating or taboo in the way that it seems to be for most people. And by “most people” I am referring to individuals like this Australian bank worker dude (pay attention to the 1:30ish mark – ha!):

Now the title of the piece that brought this “horndog” (as this sucker is so referred) to my attention was “Bank Employee Caught Surfing Porn on Live News.” And, before I watched the clip, I totally thought the aforementioned bank employee was at least going to be looking at something interesting. According the above referenced report, however, the images are of a Victoria’s Secret model doing Victoria’s Secret-related things – definitely not anything hardcore and not even some VS celebrity sex tape nonsense!! Lame, but funny in its obliviousness; and I am left wondering…

When did underwear modeling become porn?!! It’s not, and this guy was not looking at porn at work. I know this is just some cutesy quipy story, but I find sensationalizing what is essentially some oblivious idiot totally wasting workplace time by incorporating The P-Word (porn) to be both problematic and socially irresponsible.

And regarding time-wasting and obliviousness, I am super irritated!! The fact that this guy had no idea what was going on around him while he was clearly wasting what was obviously work time is, in my opinion, fully reprehensible. Regardless of what he was looking at, he clearly knows he’s not supposed to be screwing around in this manner – you can see him minimize the “porn” screen repeatedly while he is speaking to his co-worker and when he finally realizes all of Australian News 7’s audience can see him. Rather than being about “porn,” this incident speaks volumes about the state and structure of the modern workplace.

If you’re going to look at porn (or even just try to buy your chic something cute), do it on your own time. And maybe pay attention to what’s going on around you, especially if you’re working in some giant wide open space… like a coffee shop!! And if you want a job wherein you may look at all the actual porn that you can possibely handle, unfettered and unmolested, come be my intern! My to-be-reviewed stack is getting quite tall.

ps I google image searched “porn at work,” and came up with the two “unreal” photos featured in this post (among many others)… they were far too funny to pass up!