Greece to kick-start economy by cooking crystal meth

As talks between the new Greek government and the EU stall, the new Greek finance minister has announced the country will move towards economic security by cooking Methamphetamine in partnership with Italy.

Shaven-headed minister Yanis Varoufakis allegedly came up with the idea after seeing former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi running from a meth lab, and deciding the two of them could hook up to solve both their problems.

Facing insurmountable debt repayment bills, Greece has few options remaining to it, and creating a clandestine drug-manufacturing operation may well be their best option.

As Greek official said, “We’ll probably start small using one of our remote towns, but as we grow we’ll invest in the infrastructure needed to go truly global.”

In order to protect their interests, the two have reportedly made contact with “Better call” Vlad Putin to watch their backs.

“I have a plan,” said Varoufakis.

“The European Central Bank thinks that Greece is in danger? Well, Greece IS the danger.”

To which Berlusconi added “Yeah, Bitch!”

To avoid suspicion, the two will distribute their wares under the codename “France”.

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