Wednesday, 26 March 2014

My characters
are either naked or dressed to kill. Given they’re all monsters stalking the
city of New Gotham’s twisted, cracked, and cobbled streets, the criminal
wardrobe is part of the job description. Rockabilly princesses, corpse brides,
leather queens…my city is full of them. Where do they get their menacing
threads?

There is
boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow store-fronts lining the foggy
docks. The shingles are ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays
offering views into wicked leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are
ghoulish beauties stitched together from whatever was left from the last fool
to cross one of the sinister witches.

Push open its
shabby, frosted front door. Tiny white flakes of paint will pepper the wind
like spectral dust and the minute you set heel onto waxy polished oak floors
and step into the candelabra fire-light you know…

This is where
the magic happens.

Welcome
to Sinister Stitches

“…apparel
for a wicked fairy tale.”

A spicy
trinity of black magic sisters breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their
gothic apparel boutique. They are schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending”
by the Needlewitches of old. With this knowledge, they’ve created an entire
line of clothing that all share the same basic design element: one-size fits
all. Each garment will magically tailor itself to its wearer once worn. There
may might be some “twirling” required, but a vampire’s steady hand should turn
every wardrobe change into a stolen moment.

Care to take
a peek at what the Sinister Stitches has to offer?

Check out
some of the questionnaire Suzanne Johnson’s Drusilla “DJ” Draco from
the Sentinels of New Orleans Serieswas asked to
fill out after she wandered into Sinister Stitches.

THE WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE

Please
provide the witches with your name: DJ Jaco

I was named Drusilla Jane after my great
aunt but, really, don’t call me Dru or I’ll think you’re an elf and have to zap
you one with my magical staff. If you call me Drusilla, I’ll think you’re the
undead pirate Jean Lafitte, and if you call me Drusilla Jane, I think you’re my
grandmother.

Please
provide the witches with the following:

Hair
Color: Blonde

Hair
Length: [ ] Short and Sassy, [ ] Medium and
Modern, [X] Lush and Long

Two arms, two legs, although technically you
could consider Charlie a third arm. That’s the nickname for the ancient elven
staff that claimed me as its master; its ceremonial name is Mahout, and the
elves are plenty pissed off that I have it and that I, a mere wizard, can do
some of their magic. Of course I also have the elven non-husband, Quince
Randolph, but that’s a whole other issue. He’s more like an albatross than an
appendage.

How
dead are you? [x] Living, [ ] Undead, [ ]
Astral Form

Although I do have a friend-maybe-suitor
who’s a 240-year-old undead French pirate, Jean Lafitte. Does that earn extra
points?

What
are you? (Species/Breed)

Wizard, Green Congress (ritual magic),
advanced class. I work as Sentinel of the central Gulf Coast area, based
primarily in New Orleans. A Sentinel is…well, think “border guard” between the
modern world and the preternatural Beyond.

What
is the occasion? (Ideas include: Wedding,
Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more details,
the better.)

Oh, what to choose! Here’s the challenge:
My house burned down last month and I have very little clothing now. I have to
testify at an important meeting of the Interspecies Council in a few weeks, and
there’s a lot riding on my testimony. You know, like the continued existence of
the human world. I also have a gunshot wound to my left shoulder and bruised
ribs, so it needs to be something easy to get in and out of.

It will likely be a formal affair, in a
courtroom-like setting, with representatives from the wizards’ Congress of
Elders, the Elven Synod from Elfheim, the Vice-Regent from the Realm of
Vampyre, the Historical Undead (represented by the French pirate mentioned
earlier) and three representatives from the Monarchy of Faerie. With some
shifter security that includes my sometimes-signficant-something Alex. Oh, and
the undead Truman Capote will also be testifying.

Will
you be running for your life at some point in the evening?
(Helps with shoe

selection.)

It does seem to happen with alarming
regularity, so I’d better say yes.

Will
you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?

I’m much more likely to set others on
fire. In fact, I’d pretty much bet on it. My aim with the staff isn’t that
great so it might or might not be the person I’m actually trying to set on fire.

Will
you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a dressmaker’s tedium.)

Absolutely not. I can’t promise I won’t
end up tossed to the ground, however.

Is
your neck a dinner plate?

Oh God, I hope not. But it’s possible. The
vampires are kind of pissed off at me right now.

Do
you hope to be naked at some point in the evening?
(All right, dirty birds. Such

questions
are actually intended toward the weres and shifters in regards to their

transformations.)

If I am naked during this particular
evening, something has gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Describe
your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)

After being gnawed on by a reanimated
serial killer, I was shot by an undead pirate who was being controlled by a
necromancer, who’d been hired by the evil bitch who heads up one of the elven
clans. It happened at Six Flags.

Do
you need a secret compartment for weapons, wands, tampons, etc.?

I have a thigh holster that holds the
elven staff; otherwise I need some way to carry it—it’s about two feet long. I
like to carry a small portable magic kit and a knife.

What
are your three favorite colors?

Teal, red, and purple.

What
two colors rattle your kettle?

Orange and pink. I am SO not a pink girl,
and nobody wears orange well.

Please
pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to
surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.

[ ]Rockabilly Starlet: This
is for the spoonfuls of sugar. The good-natured and naughty girl next door
types. Candy is the business and fairy tales are ultimate. More often than not,
her head is in the clouds and her nose in the book.Our dreamers.

[ ]Leather Queen:This
is for the warrior princesses. The type of girls who give boys a run for their
money and wear tight jeans just watch the little vampires come undone. Hands
for fighting and these heels for ass-kickings. Our protectors.

[ ]
Medieval Mistress:This is for the no-nonsense girls. The ones
who know better because they’re ten steps ahead. They’re schemers—they might be
shy, or they might not be. More importantly, they’re selective. Our wisdom.

[ ]
Gothic Dame:This for the mysteries.
The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. She’s a mixture, a
melting pot of sugar and sinister. She might be Rockabilly Starlet one day, or
a Medieval Mistress other days. Our sisters.

[X]Other: Zydeco Geek Mistress: The snarky, nerdy girl next door type who
given a choice, will always follows her heart rather than her head, which
sometimes lands her in precarious circumstances, particularly with one sexy
undead French pirate. A lot tougher than she gives herself credit for. Fiercely
loyal to those who earn her trust.

Who
is your favorite fairy tale villain?

Lord Voldemort. I can introduce you to the
equivalent figure in Elfheim, Vampyre and Faerie if you want. Nasty.

If
you could be any fairy tale princess, who would it be?

None. Fairy tale princesses have to be
rescued by the prince. I’d rather find my own way out, but thanks!

Now,
tell us the twit you hate most.

Adrian Hoffman, son of the wizards’ First
Elder and a Blue Congress wizard in his own right (creation and re-creation).
He’s arrogant, snarky, disagreeable, and not nearly as smart as he thinks he
is. Of course, I’m trying to forgive him for almost getting me killed,
especially since he ended up with fangs.

Anything
else you’d like to add…

After
many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic and furious sewing…

Sinister
Stitches’ Rockabilly Starlet and Medieval Mistress,

Gillian
and Astrid Dweyer present DJ’s Completed Dress

“Elfshot”

Sweet-pink
and violent violet specs of spectral dust waft around the witch cast in the
shadow of the grand staircase. Shimmering bubblegum pink corset offer her
creamy breasts in sumptuous invitation and waves of cake-like flare at her
knees. She’s a hellish princess on six-inch patent leather ballerina stilettos.
She starts waving...like a lunatic:

HI! Welcome,
welcome, welcome—wait, what is that? Is that a staff? Or are you just...you
know, happy? Never mind. What was I doing...? Hmm...? Oh, that’s right—the
dress. Well, what can a candy witch say?

I’m a f#cking
genius, that’s what.

First of all,
Lady Geeks are most welcome and you look fabulous—here, have a piece of
chocolate. Second of all, this one of my special designs. Haven’t shown it to a
soul till now. Frankly, if this dress doesn’t get you carts of cake offered in
sacrifice from pirates and prince charmings alike—it’s a user error, dear. But
I have faith that you’ll wear my brilliance well. And I’ll have you know that
not every fairy tale princess needs saved. On the contrary, I put out a burning
ship for that pain-in-the-ass Viking without lifting a finger save for a spell.
And I was eating cookies. Or maybe it was gumdrops. I don’t remember....Remind
me, what was I reading then?

A
vampire swathed in a midnight blue medieval sewing frock with cobweb black lace
sweeps into the foyer. Miles of sable locks trail her like a gothic wedding
veil and her first order of business is to shove her sister out of an open
window. (As regally as possible, of course.) She dusts her hands like she can
cross another heathen off her list:

Don’t worry.
She can fly. But all of that—you
know, being useless for anything but fabulous dress design and chocolate—is
precisely why we don’t let that simple mind leave the house unchaperoned. Nor
is she allowed to work the front of the store. So let’s just call this a....plot
twist. I’m Astrid, I’m the Medieval Mistress running the catwalk around here.
Now then, about your dress...you know, what you actually came here for. (*heavy
sigh*)

Gillian was
in charge of overall design, but I worked especially hard on the color blending.
Per your color request, the fabric is made of fuchsia cherry blossoms and
lavender changeling flowers imported from Wuthering Wonderland. The fabric is inflammable—completely
and utterly incapable of being burned. These blooms came directly from the Red
Queen’s secret pavilion garden, so if you should so happen by Hell’s Kettle
during your visit in New Gotham, please stop by and give your thanks.

Thanks to our
resident leather queen and my sister, Brenda, the dress is a two piece set. It
was crafted that way to allow you freedom of movement. The neckline is a
crisscross, pressed-draping. And you can, of course, blame Gillian for the bow,
but in your case—the touch is softening. Almost like a tiny pair of tulle
wings—well, sort of...

The tulle
fashioning the bow has been welded with special Void fabric imported from the
Veil—the sheath should allow
the elven staff to fold and bend with the skirt. So, fear not, it’ll be there
when you need it. The Void pocket also allows for the storing of a moderately
sized supply pouch and small dagger in the other bow’s wing.

Pay
special attention to the earrings momma fashioned you. They’re special. What do
they do? Well, have you noticed that your gunshot wound is missing? That’s
right—they’re Isis Ear-Wings, i.e. earrings ripped from the goddess’ earlobes right
before she was cast from the heavens and imprisoned in the form of a young
Princess Cleopatra. What? Wasn’t the tale you heard? No? Here, have a brochure.
You’re gonna love New Gotham...

What
do the earrings do, you ask again? Well, they will practically heal any wound
made by a man-made instrument. Flaming balls of hellfire, ketchup, and
insidious dirt stains—well, we’ve already got that covered, don’t we?

Oh, and
before you go....Gillian would like your Lord Voldemort’s number. Seems he’s
just her type. I know, it hurts. No, really.
Here, join me in a piece of chocolate. The burden of is almost too
much...

Book Description: Remember the story about the troll who lived under the bridge—yes, well, that twit didn't have to pay rent.

Owner
and operator of Bits and Pieces, and resident expert on charms and
glamours, Elsa Karr is a witch with a sour frown and a list of things to
do as long as Thor’s hammer. Top of the list is saving her father's
shop from ruin. If she isn't trying to claw her way out of debt, she's
arguing with her cat, Fenris, or shoveling carts of cake into her gob.
She's not interested in romance or the vampire who rents the flat above
her shop. All she wants is a little peace and chocolate--fine, all
right! All right! The vampire is kind of screw all cute. (Curse him.)

The
disgraced son and heir of the Wingates House vampire clan and a mad-man
to boot, Marshall Ansley spends most of his time working and dodging
his mother's phone calls. Marshall is beyond family. He's beyond
everyone, actually. Don’t be daft, he especially doesn't do…Christmas.
But behold, the plague brings an original flavor of annoyance this year
when his boss tasks him with acquiring the account of a recluse fey and
her upcoming Gothic clothing boutique, Sinister Stitches. That is the
ONLY reason he's bothering with his shrewish landlord. No, that's it.
No…really. Fine, if you insist, the witch might be a tad bit...all
right, she's adorable. (Damn her.)

Scrooge
meets Scrooge. Dominant meets Dominant. Tempers…spark. In each other,
they may unfold a tale that only comes to pass on the darkest of nights.

About the Author:

Sophie Avett is kind of a nerd. Like not even one of the cute, hip ones everyone brags about nowadays. More like the socially awkward hippie who eats way too much bread and dreams about being a dragon from behind towers of mythology books. Um...yeah. Picture old, tattered paperbacks and comic books--mostly Batman and Wonder Woman--dwarfing a tiny desk, with just barely enough room for the troll who writes there and the 70 pound hell-hound that insists of laying it's wet nose on top of her bare foot.

Granted not the most exciting existence, but she tries to make up for it by writing romances populated with her own peculiar ilk of paranormal beasties. Trolls, wyverns, the obscure Nordic brownie--she likes to keep things interesting. And bloody. (And mostly naked--but, we'll keep that bit between us.)

Sophie Avett loves to hear from her readers. (Hi, mom.) So if there's something on your mind, feel free to leave a message after the scream.

A
paid vacation to New Gotham is an expensive affair. So, the ravens have decided
to cover the cost of travel and fashion this delightful "Carriage
Charm."

"Naked
wizards and scheming vampires? Where do I sign?!" all the witches scream
and random sparks of black magic crackle across the ceiling.

We're
getting to that, dearies...

An
Appointment for Tea with Mrs. Potts the Storymaven (aka Fairy Godmother) will
require the use of the earrings the pixies have fashioned out of raven skulls,
AKA, "Raven Ear-wings."

The
baubles should land the winners in New Gotham's clock-tower square. It could be that they do nothing at all. Or
you might end up in oblivion. Good luck with that. The crickets will read about
it in the papers, no doubt.

“What
do I have to do?” everyone screams and waves their good silver stakes in the
air. (Good girls.)

How
to Win the Vacation of a Lifetime...

You
have to fill out information in the Rafflecopter form at the bottom of the tour
stops

Win
a Dress from Sinister Stitches!

Sophie
Avett's ravens have partnered with the Witches-Who-Stitch to offer a special
prize. It’s a dress featured in Sophie’s upcoming release, ‘Twas the Darkest
Night. The sinister witches made it special for Elsa but after many carts of
cake offered to the trinity in sacrifice, they have agreed to stitch an exact replica
for one lucky witch.

“What
do I have to do?!” everyone screams and fails theirs arms like deranged
daisies. (Just go with it.)

How
to Win a Dress...

You
have to sign up via the Rafflecopter form that will be posted at the bottom of
each and every Sinister Stitches Tour Stop

At
the end of Sophie Avett’s Bewitching Book Tours campaign (March 17 to March 31
2014) the ravens will announce a winner and gather that witch's measurements
via email.

20 comments:

DJ thanks you for her gorgeous dress. The bow hiding the elven staff is particularly clever; she has reassessed her entire attitude about bows. She think her significant-something Alex might even put on a suit (black, of course) to accompany her in this beauty!

Greetings Shut Up and Read! Here, have yourself a bowl of French assorted chocolates. You girls totally deserve it, everything looks wonderful. Thank you so much for hosting me!

@ Suzanne: Hi! Thank you so much for stopping by! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed the dress. (And the bows! (Damn Gillian.) DJ was an absolute joy to work with and I look forward to seeing her come back to our little shop of sissorhands in the future! :)

Hi Susan! First off, I want to apologize for my tardiness. (Evil day job. (heavy sigh)) Thank you so much for stopping by. Here, we've brought brownie bites for you. And the Witches-Who-Stitch will be so pleased to hear that you liked the dress! The colors are my favorite part of that dress. Almost looks like the textile is electric! Oh, and before I forget, you've won a free copy of TDN! Send me an email at sophieavett AT gmail DOT com with your preferred e-book format and I'll strap it to the nearest carrier pigeon. :)

Merry met Liz! So sorry it has taken me so long to respond. The day job is evil. Anywho, thank you so much for dropping by and leaving a comment. The sinister witches appreciate it! They're so pleased that you liked the dress and the funny. I hoped you signed up for the giveaway as they're giving away a dress! In the meantime, you've won a free copy of TDN! Send me an email at sophieavett AT gmail DOT com with your preferred e-book format and I'll have the pixies send out right away.

Greetings Miki! I was trapped at the evil day job, so please forgive my tardiness. I'm so happy you enjoyed the result. I am curious, what did you have in mind? The witches LOVE to talk shop. In any case, I totally agree that DJ would be the beauty of the ball. Probably in just about anything we put her in. She's fabulous like that. (lol) Thank you so much for stopping by. Oh, and you've won a free copy of TDN! (If you do end up reading it, I would love to hear some feedback on the dress selection.) Send me an email at sophieavett AT gmail DOT com with your preferred e-book format and I'll send you a carrier pigeon!

Hi Liv! Re DJ Dress -- Right?! DJ was one our favorites here at Sinister Stitches. We wanted to give her an attention getting make-over. (You know, so maybe Alex and Jean will play nice for an evening.) I do so hope she comes back for another dress. Next time, I'm going to let Brenda join on the madness. Thank you so much for stopping by. You've won a free copy of TDN! (so far, hope you entered the giveaway!) Send me an email at sophieavett AT gmail DOT com with your preferred e-book format and I'll have the pixies mail it out right away!

Merry Met Bonnie! The Witches Who Stitch are thrilled to hear that the dress was such a success! They had a blast with DJ. And the colors--the colors are absolutely wonderful. (I can't believe Gillian got away with putting some pink tones in there, but then again--the wench is crafty. (lol)) Thank you so much for stopping by. Like the other girls, you've won a free copy of TDN! Send me an email at sophieavett AT gmail DOT com with your preferred e-book format and I'll strap it to the nearest will o' wisp.

Greetings VampedChik! Re the Fabulous Dress -- I know?! I LOVE it. One of my favorites. And I'm so pleased you enjoyed the questionnaire! I had a blast crafting these interviews and DJ gave me tons of material to work with. Thank you so much for stopping by. The pixies have a copy of TDN for you if you're interested. Send me an email at sophieavett AT gmail DOT com with your preferred e-book format and I'll get it to the pony express right away! :)

Oh my Poptarts, Aurian! I didn't expect to see you here, too! You little minx. Bring your tea cup and come sit next to Sophie. (lol) Thank you so much for dropping by and I'm so very pleased you enjoyed the dress! (The witches agree, it's sure to knock him off his feet!)