07/14/2010

Impossible Love

One of the greatest pains any human being can have is when it involves LOVE. Pain that involves love usually feels like part of you is missing, life lost its meaning and everything around you reminds you of your lost love. The second greatest pain in life is when the person you love and you can't be together. This is is called platonic love. A relationship where each person love's the other, but circumstances, distance, events or family get in between. Unlike a lost love an impossible love creates the feeling of impotence and inability to control your the love in your life.

I remember countless times that my friends would come to me with their sad stories about love that is out of their reach, about love that is not reciprocated or able to mature into a relationship. Platonic love and not reciprocated love is one of the worst feelings in the world, because you are left with the "what if?". On the other hand when you end a relationship you have the feeling that you tried your best and that it didn't work out. The "what if?" questions in our lives are the worst, we tend to never get the answer and go around thinking if our lives would have been different if we said something, did something or in general acted differently to get another solution. This is why platonic love and non-reciprocal love is so hard on the heart, it is a love that has no conclusion nor explanation.One of the greatest pains any human being can have is when it involves LOVE. Pain that involves love usually feels like part of you is missing, life lost its meaning and everything around you reminds you of your lost love. The second greatest pain in life is when the person you love and you can't be together. This is is called platonic love. A relationship where each person love's the other, but circumstances, distance, events or family get in between. Unlike a lost love an impossible love creates the feeling of impotence and inability to control the love in your life.

Then comes non-reciprocal love, where the person you care for doesn't care for you in the same way. This sort of love makes you feel empty, unappreciated and even worthless sometimes, but the truth is that YOU ARE NONE OF THOSE THINGS. Sometimes when we are infatuated and obsessed with what we can't have, we confuse it with falling in love. When someone doesn't love you back you may start feeling that no else will and you are completely WRONG. Sometimes we have to suffer through heart break and deceptions so that we can learn to value ourselves and know exactly what we need from those we love. You may not get someone to love you as you love them now, but you will in the future. When you least expect it, someone will enter into your life to show you that they love you for who you are without you pressuring it. If your in love with someone that has already showed you that they will never see you the same light; then you should stop pursuing it and find someone that will. It is painful to be rejected over and over again from someone you care about, so why continue to get rejected? If you can stay friends and separate your feelings than do that, but if you can't then stay away for a while. If you don't separate yourself from a non-reciprocal relationship than you will never allow someone else that will care for you enter your heart.

Now when it comes to platonic love it becomes a bit hard to detach yourself from that person or decide what road to take your feelings toward them. The following would be steps that I know will help you make the decision easier.

1. Tell them everything, your feelings, your goals and what you want from them.

2. Have the other person tell you the same thing you told them

3. If then you both see that you care for each other, and can make it workout; then make a plan for it to work.

4. If you care about each other, but the circumstances of today don't allow your relationship to flourish. Then try to find a way to become friends and keep in contact in case the circumstances of tomorrow allow it.

5. If you see that becoming friends is not possible, since there is to much love in between; take a break from each other. If you don't separate those feelings for them, you will be unable to give someone that can be with you today the possibility to enter your heart fully.

6. Cherish the memories you had with them, but don't live in the memories.

7. If you are few of the lucky one's that can make it work, then work for it that it will be worth it.

Love is not an easy thing, we have to fight for it, value it and care for it!!