So, I've been going to the gym for a long time now, right? No less then 5 days a week, and usually in the morning. After a while, you start to see the same people each day...

* The chick who totes her huge purse around with her everywhere she goes, and then tends to leave that purse on the seat of the next machine she wants to use, to "reserve" it, till she's done chillin' and texting away on her phone at the current machine she's on.

* The muscle head that makes ridiculously loud attention-grabbing noises while lifting crazy amounts of weights...and really barely even does much, besides discreetly looking at himself in the mirror between sets, and walking back and forth from the weights to the water fountain every 5 seconds.(Oh! and making flirty glaces at the girl on the treadmill next to me)

* The middle-aged man who hits up all the machines, yet focuses more time on using the disinfecting spray and paper towels to wipe them down, instead of actually working out on them

and last, but not least...

* The 22-26 year old single (totally already fit and skinny) girl who always tends to jump onto the machine right next to me, just as I'm finishing the last 10 minutes of my work out, with her super long-haired ponytail that she frantically whips back and forth.

I am truly convinced that she's more worried about the cuteness of her "ponytail swing" then actually breaking a sweat. (no joke)... maybe she's doing it to to impress the muscle-dude ???

(siiigh)

Do I sound like a brat or WHAT? ha!

Am I probably just a liiiittle jealous of said, "skinny-fit-ponytail-girl", because instead of being able to exert all of my energy on wondering what my hair looks like during my workout at the gym, I have to ACTUALLY work out?... and tend to look like THIS, in the process most of the time?...

Sure... okay... Yes, Absolutely.

To be fair, there ARE other people lookin' fugly and attempting to work hard like me too, I just seem to be noticing the gym grazers lately, who hardly ever really break a sweat and it got me thinking...

When YOU go to the gym, are you Working HARD?... or HARDLY Working out?

This past week my lifestyle coach put me on a new workout he made for me, appropriately named:

THE SHELL-INATOR

When you're going to the gym 6 days a week and eating basically the same types of foods all the time... ANYTHING to change your monotonous routine up, is helpful and exciting. But it was only about the 6th exercise in on my sheet, that I started to feel angry... right about the same time that I felt like my freakin' legs were going to blow-up from the amount of heat burning inside of them.

Thoughts swirled through my dizzy head, like...
"Why do I have to work THIS hard to lose weight, it's not fair!"

"Why did I ever let myself get this far?"

"I'm so uncomfortable right now, I'm sure I look freakin' stupid jumping around like this"

and

"What was my lifestyle coach THINKING!? I'm too big for these exercises, I can barely even do them!"

By the end of even ATTEMPTING "The Shell-inator", I was standing in a puddle of sweat... literally dripping from every pour (or at least that's what it felt like)

(ya, that's drippy nose sweat... sick)

I tend to do a LOT of my "important thinking" towards the end of my workouts each day. Usually when I'm laying on my big blue mat, in front of a deep purple wall, after sit ups... and during my last round of stretches.

As I was lying there this particular day in silence, headphones still on my ears, but no music playing, I had the thought cross my mind...

"Maybe YOU'VE gotten to the point where your body thinks YOU'RE hardly working out... instead of working hard." (?)

I wanted to quickly scratch the thought from my brain and yell at myself... "What the freak are you TALKING about!? I work out hard-core every day!" But in my heart of hearts I knew I was right. I couldn't keep going on my comfortable, non-embarrassing, less-things-bouncing-around-on-me-that-shouldn't workout plan forever. I was going to have to switch things up if I wanted to hit that next 10 pound mark, sooner then later.

I woke up the next morning barely capable of movement, because I was so sore from my workout the day before. As I hobbled to the kitchen for some Ibuprofen I had a strange empowering thought :

"YES! It's happening again! You're kickin' your OWN fat butt... and your body is just pissed off. Now just keep going until your body doesn't hurt like this anymore."

(I usually just stop my thought process there, because thinking beyond THIS hurt, and having to start an even MORE rigorous workout one day... quite literally makes me want to throw up)lol.

Here's the truth...

After 18 weeks of being on a diet/making a lifestyle change, people stop caring if you lose 1 pound a week or 3. All they ask now is... "How much have you lost so far?"

Everyone goes back to eating the same foods they used to, and nobody cares if you can eat what everyone else is having or not. YOU end up being the only one stressing out about EACH pound that you STILL have to lose, and getting frustrated at the fact that you have to eat BEFORE a big party full of yummy, fattening, off-limits to you, foods... just so you won't be tempted to eat any.

There are more days then not that I catch myself thinking... "This sucks. I just want to give up and go eat an Oreo." But then I tap into the girl inside who SWORE she would drop the weight this year if it KILLED her, the wife who's looking forward to wearing things she never could before (like super high heels) for her hubby (without feeling like a potato on toothpicks), and the Mom that will one day feel comfortable wearing a bathing suit with a much smaller cover-up around her, at the pool with her kids.

For me, this weight-loss journey has been SUCH a growing experience. I'm learning to listen to my body, my spirit, and my thoughts, with more clarity then I used to. I know it sounds a little dramatic, and a bit "deep", but when you finally figure out that YOU are the only one that can make the decision to be angry and give up, or stay positive and keep going, then you quickly learn to start tuning everyone else out... BUT yourself.

151 comments:

I. LOVE. YOU!! I love your honesty. I recently wrote a post on my own self image/weight loss/gain roller coaster. (http://workmanfamilyfun.blogspot.com/2012/02/working-on-yourself-is-not-always-easy.html) I HOPE I can stay fit and motivated...You inspire me. Keep it up!! The life style change is totally worth it. (I don't know about you, but for me, I am SUCH a nicer, happier, more energetic person with my new workout routine!)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts as you go through this process. I hope that I can one day find the strength you have found. As I sit here with an open package of Oreos next to me (yup, really!) I know I need to find the courage sooner, rather than later. You are an inspiration for me as you push through the struggles that come with such a journey.

Every time you post about your weight loss journey, I get SO much motivation. For months I thought I was working out and trying hard and wondering why I lost nothing. Then you posted your first post and I though WOW there is someone who IS really trying. It took me awhile after that to actually start trying, but I'm two weeks in with dieting and 6 lbs. down. THANK YOU for being my motivation. :)Oh, and after 5 months of semi-consistently going to the gym, I was able to start jogging today. It was in-between walking, but I'll take it! So, I'm learning to push myself harder too.

Ah! You are amazing. What an awesome example you are to all of us, your family, and friends! Keep it up girl! You rock! I can't wait to see how skinny mini you look at the Snap Conference. Your pictures are looking awesome! Your face is so thin!

This was really great to read. Ive been on my own weight loss journey too (since the beginning of this month) and have been posting updates on my blog too. I was surprised by the love and support I have received from my readers! Its been so nice. Especially when I posted about how I cried at the gym!

I'm now noticing other bloggers on their own weight loss journey and its so encouraging to read about their journeys. I think you are SO awesome for kicking your own butt into gear!! ♥ And I am totally like you, sweating my butt off and looking terrible at the gym!

I feel like such an idiot sometimes, because I have to work so hard and because I am so heavy... I dont look like that "already fit girl, that hardly has to work"... yes my gym has one of her too! I sometimes catch myself staring at her... Just thinking... one day, one day that can be me. LOL

I LOVED reading through your thoughts. I have a battle that I fight everyday as well....NOT as hard as I should, though. You are so beautiful....I am so excited for you and this journey you are on! YOU INSPIRE ME! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

You crack me up. I have all those same people at my gym too ha ha! What's with the guys staring at themselves in the mirror non stop while lifting weights? Instead of wishing I was the skinny girl with the pony tail, sometimes I wish I was a guy so that all I would have to do is lift weights to get bulky. Instead I am the chubby girl running forever on the treadmill to try and shed that flab. Have you ever farted on the treadmill? Ha Ha Ha! I have and I was so embarrassed! Anyway I love reading your blog, especially your weight loss posts because it is something I am working on too. Do you ever let yourself have a treat? Like on the weekend? I was just wondering.

Another great post Ms. Shellinator :) You freakin ROCK it and I'm proud of you. I've been taking some yoga classes because I can't seem to find anything to relieve stress. I've finally found something that MAKES me think about myself and my own body. Its amazing. Now I need to learn to control what I eat. Its seriously the hardest thing for me! Your posts inspire me to get it together and get it done. Thanks for sharing your story :)

Great post girlfriend, and I love that quote at the end too. I think we must go to the same gym, because I see those EXACT same people when I go to workout! ;-). Keep up the awesome work - you can tell by looking at you that you are working your arse off - literally and figuratively. :-)

Wow! This is great! I too can relate with everything you have written here. I am glad Im not alone. And I too am a people watcher at the gym. But I have a "laugh very loud all through tv shows Im watching " guy. Drives me nuts!!!

Good for you Shelly, keep going, you can do it! I've gained 45 lbs over the past 3 years since having a hysterectomy. I need to motivate myself and reading about your progress helps. Of course, the prodding of my physically fit 21 year old is in the background too, but seeing you determined to make changes to your lifestyle is inspiring. Keep on it!

Shelley, the sharing of your weight loss journey is so brave and inspiring. Even though I'm not on the same journey, the message of taking control of your own life and working so hard for a goal is not lost on me. Reading this makes me want to stop making excuses and go accomplish some things I really want, even though it'll be difficult to get there. Keep up the awesome work!! {And your assessment of people at the gym totally crack me up - they are at EVERY gym! So funny!}

the thing that kills me in those workout pics is that you're so pretty! truly!forget ponytail girl--you're rockin' the gym!and kissin' that fat goodbye! I'm presently pregnant (possibly twins--we find out next week) and you're going to be my inspiration come September--my fat and I have been too good of friends for too long! :)

Just wanted to say you go girl! You are doing an awesome job. I have the exact same thoughts going through my head when I'm at the gym to. I really really hate the women that are on their cell phones having conversations and I have to listen their who is doing what and so on. Oh, and I'm the same as you with the nose sweat and all. I walk out of the gym with a beet red face but at least I know I gave it my all and it feels good...until the next day and I'm forcing myself back into it haha. Keep up the great work!!

Thanks for this post, it was exactly what I needed. I am on week ten and I too swore this is it, I'm going to be 40 this year and can no longer be uhealthy. Yes, it's hard sometimes, but I am determined to win this battle. Thanks for the motivation and keep up the good work.

As a person who has always been physically fit (gymnast, cheerleader, fitness) & now has to workout to maintain, in a household with a Mother who has yo-yo'd for 30+ years with her body (up down up down up down) I APPLAUD YOU and encourage you to KEEP UP THE HARD WORK! It's most definitely a lifestyle change that you'll have to workout & keep up with to maintain size once you hit your goal weight, but its so important to do that for yourself AND your children. I wish my Mom could stay at her goal or near it forever, as its such a different Mother to be around when she feels at or close to 'her best'. You are impacting your kids more than you know as they watch you work tirelessly-YOU GO GIRL! YOU CAN DO IT :)

Wow I found this so inspiring. I myself said I wanted to drop the pounds this year too. I have been overweight my entire life and while everyone around me says you look great, part of me doesnt feel that way. I was on weight watchers before and lost 40lbs and I felt great about myself. Then I got stressed out and gained it all back plus an extra 10lbs. At my wedding in October I was the heaviest I've ever been and even though I was completely comfortable with myself on the particular day, most other days I'm not. It's nice to see someone out there battling the same problems as me and overcoming them. It's inspiring to see and I myself am looking forward to losing all that weight again plus more. My goal is to get to a weight where I can start buying dresses in a size large-xlarge in stead of a 2x or 3x. Keep sticking to your routine, cause by the end of it you're gonna feel like a million bucks and that's all that matters. :)

Thank you. I'm in the last week of a weight loss competition at my gym and starting to get frustrated and afraid -- frustrated that I'm not so skinny I'm invisible yet; afraid I won't continue losing without the "competition" paying attention to what I'm doing. I complained, internally and to my hubby, about the required 5AM class this morning, my first ever. I was prepared to nap this morning to make up for it. But thanks to this post, I'm going to go back out right now to run a mile, which will be only the second mile I ever ran in my life -- the first being last week as part of this competition. I hated it then, and I'll hate it now. But I'm going to do it because you just reminded my WHY.

I just wanted to say keep up the good work!! I'm on the same journey and totally understand (and agree). I'm trying new vegetables so that helps (a tiny bit since I'm still stuck trying to avoid the delicious diet-busters all around me). But every little bit counts so I'm sending good thoughts your way!

You're awesome! Nose sweat is the sign of a good workout, I'm convinced. I know we don't really know each other, but I'm so very proud of you :) Those inside changes are what make the outside changes even possible... not to sound all sappy, but you're very inspiring. Keep up the good (hard) work :)

Oh Shelley, you can do hard things! I'm so impressed! What an awesome journey you are having. Those are important lessons to learn about oneself. You had me cracking up with your gym people descriptions. I totally had those thoughts too before I started working out at home. Those gym rats drove me crazy!!

Yes!!! I think you and I share a brain when it comes to working out. You inspired me to start losing weight, and I've been on my very slow path for the last couple of weeks. I'm using an app called myfitnesspal(.com for the website), and it's helping me count calories. I've been going to the gym in our very small town for the last week or so and checking my weight to see if anything's going away. It doesn't feel like it is, and that frustrates the crap out of me! Especially when my husband & sister in law tag along with me and spend the entire time wanting to chat with me. I finally told my hubs the other night, if I can have a conversation with you and breathe normally, I'm NOT working hard enough!! Being lazy has gotten me to being in this state, and I'm done with it!

I'm so proud of you for all that you've accomplished, and for still being motivated to kick your own butt! (Which is a little weird to say, considering I only know you from your blog!!)

Stay positive girl! You will reap the rewards! I am right there with you working out 6 days a week. It can really suck sometimes but I always feel ten times better after every workout! Exhausted, energized and stronger! You can do it! Kick some butt!

You are doing awesome Shelley! Keep up the good work! Have you heard of www.myfitnesspal.com? I've used it off and on for the past 9 months. Keeps me accountable and I've got friends on their too, that keep me motivated and cheer me on! Check it out! You can find me on there as alimoll - add me if you join! It's free!

#1 you look great, and you look hardcore all worked out and sweaty.#2 how relateable are you??? This is sooo me, I work out at home now, but man I used to dread when thin pony-tail hat lady would come and jog next to me at the gym. #3 thanks so much for sharing this journey!

I love reading your weight-loss journey! It makes me want to be braver...I'm totally right there next to you with sweat all over and face flushed...ha ha we were just blessed to SEE how hard we are working out! :) Keep it up, you're AMAZING!

You are such an inspiration to me! I have struggled with my weight ever since I had my daughter....5 YEARS AGO!! My sister took a picture of me this weekend and when I saw it, I was like THAT is what I look like?!?! I am going to finally stop talking about it and start DOING something about it! You are such an encouragement to all of your readers and I will be right here continuing to cheer you on! :)

You are such an inspiration to me! I have struggled with my weight ever since I had my daughter....5 YEARS AGO!! My sister took a picture of me this weekend and when I saw it, I was like THAT is what I look like?!?! I am going to finally stop talking about it and start DOING something about it! You are such an encouragement to all of your readers and I will be right here continuing to cheer you on! :)

This is just what I needed today. I keep getting up in the morning and thinking "Maybe I'll just skip my workout today. No one will care." But I CARE! And everyday I find a way to make it through another gruelling workout so I can look at myself in the mirror and know that I did my best! I kicked my own butt and I'm a better, happier, more healthy person because of it! Thanks for being so motivating and inspirational! Keep it up. You are so beautiful!

This is such an incredible, hilarious, post! I actually teared up reading this, I'm a sap, I know. While I am not technically overweight it doesn't mean I'm as healthy as I should be. Also, please know that even us slimmer girls feel the intimidation of jumping around and looking foolish to blast past that plateau so you're definitely not alone! Being thin doesn't mean things don't jiggle, haha. I have determined to get more active this year and I am so impressed with your attitude! Thanks for the inspiration and I wish you the best as you continue this journey! I look forward to celebrating here on your blog all of your future victories! Thanks for sharing such a personal moment with us. Happy Monday to you!

Well said Shelley. I am stealing "potato on toothpicks" from you Haha! I feel like that when I put heals on. I am 5'6 1/2...yes the 1/2 REALLY matters to me..haha. I weigh 210, and I just can't seem to motivate myself to loose the 80 lbs I gained having my 2 kids. I feel like I know who my real friends are, the ones who love you for your personality, not the way you look. Any way, you really do inspire me, ill come knock the skinny ponytail girl off and jog beside you...haha!

You are SO inspiring!!! LOVE IT and keep kicking butt, I am sure you will get there!! I think I have those same people at MY gym! Skinny ponytail girl is in the Power class I do on Thursday mornings and always looking SO good and lifting SO much weight like it is nothing... while I am there with my noodle arms thinking why can I not lift this it is only 10 pounds??? ugh!Thank you so much for sharing... and keep it up you are doing GREAT!!

You are so encouraging to me. I've lost right at 100lbs over the last 2 years and since about this time last year I had been stuck with about 40 still to go. I finally broke my plateau over the last couple of months and am down another 15...and there's STILL days I feel like throwing in the towel. And it's days like those (ok this WAS one of them) that I come across things like your post that kick me in the butt and wake me up. So THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I am so excited for and proud of you. You're beautiful inside and out no matter what the scale says and I pray that you will stay strong and reach your goals!

Okay believe me or don't, those shots of you at the gym are cute...you have natural beauty...which doesn't go away, we just don't always see it ourselves, especially when we feel tired, and gross, and sweaty and pony tail girl is trotting along on the treadmill next to us!

Don't give "the gym people" the power...we are all rooting for you...give us the power to motivate you!

You are such an encouragement to me. I had lost right at 100lbs over the last 2 years before plateauing around this time last year. Over the last few months I finally broke it and have lost another 15. There are STILL days when I feel like throwing in the towel. On those days (yes, this was one of them), I always seem to come across things like your blog post that kick me in the butt and wake me up. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are such a beautiful person inside and out no matter what the scale says. I pray that you will stay strong and reach your goals!

You are the best, and I am so proud of you!!! I could relate to so much of this post its ridiculous. I love all your gym labeled peeps.... That SOOOOO made me laugh, you nailed all of them. YES' I have seen all of those types at the gym too, only normally the pony tailed fit girl has a big boob job she is fondly proud of. LOL. You keep me motivated. I was so skinny when I married hubby.. size 6! Fast forward to now... I am a size 18 and heavier then I have ever been. UGH- hate myself! I am just dieting with "WW" but need to exercise more to kick things into high gear. Thanks for your weight loss journey "posts" lots of love, jen

Shelley every time you post about your weight loss journey you inspire me more. I started WW right after your first post and yes it does get BORING eating the same stuff over and over but I am not going to give up. And I know you won't either. I used to go to the gym years ago but after seeing the buff dudes, the skinny chicks, etc I realized this is not for me. I applaud you for dealing with these people every day! I know I will never be the skinny person I was in my 30's but in my mid 50's it's important to me to be attractive to myself, my husband, daughter and grandkids. I think YOU ROCK Shelley and I am so happy I started following your blog!

Love this! I recently got out of my workout habit and put on 10 lbs - everyone says I look the same blah blah blah but I feel different. Ive been back at the gym now for a month or two and havent noticed a big difference - its frustrating thats for sure. Thanks for your motivation this morning to kill it at the gym. You are looking mighty fine my friend

Get it Shelley! That workout is no joke, my husband is a professional stuntman and that's about the same combo of weird jumping-things that he does. You're doing awesome, all those folks at the gym are definitely watching you and wishing they had that kind of drive and determination!!

I'm so proud of you sticking to it even through the tough times. It takes a lot to even get to the starting point, but then to continue and be consistent, that's a huge feat. I love to hear about your updates and I love that you are honest about what you feel through the challenge. I wish you all the best in your journey!

I just love your blog. I love how you inspire and encourage others just by being honest and opening up your life to stangers. I haven't even gotten started on weight loss. I keep just 'thinking' about it. I hope to have such determination some day soon! And just think, one day you will be the thin pony tail girl that makes some other lady mad. :) Do you actually get to read all of these posts?

I think you're awesome -for even sharing this aspect and of course for "fighting the good fight." I want to kick myself for everytime I used to think I was fat. Four kids later, "fat" and figure flaws take on a whole new meaning. Keep going. And I'm going to keep going too.

I can so relate to your thougths today. I have lost 46 lbs. so far, but still have a lot more to loose. I try to focus on what I have done so far and not how far I have to go.

This is my time, and it's the first time I have ever done something just for me. Recently diagnosed with Diabetes, I felt so lost in loosing my weight. I found a dietician, a therapist and a trainer. That is my team. It has made all the difference to me. I found out why I ate and ways to cope with my issues. I must say that I am happy. My eating has turned around and my Diabetes is under control. I feel blessed.

Remember who you are. You are an amazing young woman with a beautiful family, husband that adores you and wonderful parents. You are so stinkin cute that I doubt anyone notices your weight. Be kind to yourself because no one can do that but you.

Can I just say.... I love you! You are awesome. I love the fact that you post your sweat pictures! It makes me smile and know that the next time I am sweating my guts out I will giggle and keep going!!! We CAN do this and it will be hard but it will be SO worth it! Keep it up cuz you rock!!

Wow, I can't believe it's been 18 weeks since you started! I am so proud of you! And you don't even know me!

I wish I had the same motivation that you do. I can hardly make it past 2 weeks of working out before I give up (excuse: something always stops me. Right). Reading your post made me cry. I need to get my ass in shape. I had two kids in one year and 5 months later, I still have 20 freaking pounds to lose just to be OK with myself. 30 pounds until I am happy with my body. Why can't someone light a fire under my ass?

Keep going girl, you're giving me some hope and more and more motivation! Good luck!

I look forward to your posts about this journey, because I'm on it too, just not publicly. For some reason I feel like this is going to be the time that I will finally pull through for me. I can't wait for the end result, for you and for me!

Feeling your pain...literally. I have those same thoughts going around in my head and I think to myself that just because they stand around talking instead of working their butts off doesn't make them bad people. I do curse their naturally fast metabolisms, though. You are looking great!

I'd also like to say you're awesome! Love your blog and all the decor diy pics and info you post. But the real life DIY project posts are so inspiring. The comments on the 'regular gym people' is so true. Its distracting to see the spunky pony-tail girl beside me on the treadmill. I'm jealous of her for two reasons: the ease of their work out (and lack of sweat?!) and also that I used to be that Spunky girl. Life gets in the way of staying healthy. But no more! Your posts are insightful and real. Love it!

Incredible. Serious tugs on these heart strings...you are so amazing. You are incredibly motivated! Definitley had a rant post about this nonsense as well, sometimes it seems like going to the gym is more of a beauty contest than anything! For real...long pony tail girl. Hahaha! Love it! Keep it up!xo Jess

I so look forward to these posts. You INSPIRE me! I am on my own weight loss journey and to hear about your blood, nose sweat and tears makes me want to push hard through my own challenges. I have similar dreams of bathing suits and hot clothes for my hubby. I just blogged about a few of my exercise tips. This post has inspired me and I think I'll go out and hit the road to do some running. I've started the Couch to 5K program. Thanks for the inspiration!!

I laughed so hard at the start of this post! Because I do the exact same thing at the gym. Everyone has their own "assigned by me" names. Like Mr Horselegs, or Missy barely wearing any shorts. Real people like you are in short supply and I appreciate your reality so much. Thankyou for taking the time to share and keep it up. You are such a good role model for your girls.

I am stealing that quote. You are awesome and I love reading your blog! I have found an extraordinary passion for working out outside. I still go to the gym, but I LOVE to run outside! You got this. I posted on my blog and it's making its way around pinterest too, but it's a sign that has Good Things Come to Those Who Wait crossed out and below it, it reads instead, Good Things Come to Those Who Work Their Asses Off!

So I have been reading a fascinating book about the differences between male and female brains and one difference was huge to me because I see it in myself all the time. Male brains consistently overestimate their abilities and women brains underestimate their abilities. It's HUGE to break through this barrier! I feel you for sure and I'm right there with you. You looked great when we were skyping on Sunday, but I just didn't get the chance to tell you.

Thank you for sharing your story! It's nice to hear the nitty gritty honesty. I love seeing the sweaty progress pictures too. You look MUCH better while working out than I do. I turn tomato red and look like I'm about to keel over. Anyway...keep up the awesome work, you look good, and you're body will appreciate all the hard work. :)

OK - THANK YOU! I need a kick in the butt, and today seems to have been my "breaking point". Reading your post after deciding that I'm joining Weight Watchers with my mom tomorrow (meeting at 7 PM - nervous!!!!) just clinched the deal for me...thanks for pushing me!!

You are so amazing. I just loved that post and didn't want it to end (like a good movie). Thank you for knowing what so many of us moms are going through. It is so easy to give up but I have to keep convincing myself to stop listening to the lazy part of my brain and just go for it once and for all. I want to look good by the pool too and stop cringing everytime someone says, "we should have a pool party!" Keep it up and please post often on your working out to help others out. Your words mean more than you think!!

Great job and keep it up, but don't be too hard on folks at the gym...who knows what their story is? I determined to make this year a year that I get fit and strong and stop those bad habits that were creating an upward trend on the scale. I'm on a team as part of a contest at my gym and while most folks are nice, there are plenty of people who complain that I'm not fat enough to be worthy of the support I get from the contest. Just saying that everyone who makes the choice to hit the gym instead of the bag of Oreos deserves some kudos.

you will never be able to realize the inspiration you are to others that are on the same road in life as you, we all try to work on some area in our life wether it physical or spiritual. you seem to do amazing at all other things in your life, blogging,wife, mother and entrepreneur . I am still trying to reinvent how I feel and look at my body after having been through ovarian cancer in 2009 , I feel as though I was no longer a woman, my body isn't the same and feel like people still see me as the lady with cancer...but as we know heavenly father doesn't only give us trials for our benefit but for others, people are inspired by ours tories and can reach out and bear each others burdens!! thanks for sharing yours life, good bad and sweaty :) and keep up the good work!!

you will never be able to realize the inspiration you are to others that are on the same road in life as you, we all try to work on some area in our life wether it physical or spiritual. you seem to do amazing at all other things in your life, blogging,wife, mother and entrepreneur . I am still trying to reinvent how I feel and look at my body after having been through ovarian cancer in 2009 , I feel as though I was no longer a woman, my body isn't the same and feel like people still see me as the lady with cancer...but as we know heavenly father doesn't only give us trials for our benefit but for others, people are inspired by ours tories and can reach out and bear each others burdens!! thanks for sharing yours life, good bad and sweaty :) and keep up the good work!!

you will never be able to realize the inspiration you are to others that are on the same road in life as you, we all try to work on some area in our life wether it physical or spiritual. you seem to do amazing at all other things in your life, blogging,wife, mother and entrepreneur . I am still trying to reinvent how I feel and look at my body after having been through ovarian cancer in 2009 , I feel as though I was no longer a woman, my body isn't the same and feel like people still see me as the lady with cancer...but as we know heavenly father doesn't only give us trials for our benefit but for others, people are inspired by ours tories and can reach out and bear each others burdens!! thanks for sharing yours life, good bad and sweaty :) and keep up the good work!!

can I just tell you how much I enjoy your blog, we all have some type of area in our lives we try to improve on, wether its spiritual emotional or physical. The fact that you are choosing to share this with others it helps and inspires so many others. there have been many times I have struggled and not thinking what I was going through had any affect on others, but in 2009 I had ovarian cancer and was basically split in 1/2 and stripped of my womanhood, so I struggled with feeling like I was a full woman and the fear of the cancer, but I chose to not let if beat me, as we know heavenly father gives us trials not only for our benefit and experience, but it helps others as well. So thanks for sharing your charm, craftiness, and sweat :) LOL keep up the good work, you can do hard things!!

"a potatoe on toothpicks" Thats it! Thats what I feel like in heels. I could never find the right words. Ha! So Funny. You look awsome! Keep it up. I remind (on my weightloss quest) myself that it's for my health, I want to feel great (and look amazing). And think of the amazing example you are setting for your girls ... Thats what I tell myself when I want the ice cream! I know you can, I know you can, I know you can!

I love your exercise/ weight loss posts. I am on this journey with you...8 lbs down so far! I know it isn't much, but this is HUGE for me. I've really NEVER lost weight before...it's only been going up, up, up. Now I know I CAN DO IT!

Shelley~you rock girl!! You are so right, every POUND is a battle, a struggle and no one knows but you or can do it but you. That's awesome and frustrating all at the same time. I can already tell a difference in your face~you're looking so good! The gym isn't my favorite environment, but maybe I would see faster results if I went instead of running/Jillian dvds?? Keep the updates coming...love them.

You are such a source of inspiration to everyone and I hope you realize the impact you're having on everyone! Cheers to you for sticking with it through all the ups and downs. A few of my girls friends and myself are trying to cheer eachother on through our own weight loss journey. No matter how many pounds one wants to loose it's HARD WORK-ugh! Thanks for your honesty and bringing us along for the ride. Keep up the great work and yes, listen to yourself and body...it does matter :)

Shelly! You have seriously put into words EXACTLY how I feel when it comes to dieting and weight loss. You get the support in the beginning, but as you say, once everyone else goes back to eating "junk" that you can't eat, it really DOES put you into the test of doing this all on your own initive and it really DOES take every ounce of strength to persevere!!! You can do this! You are such a great example to me as I go through the same things and the same feelings as you! Thank you for putting it into words of the emotions that I feel. You're such a great example to us all :)

Shelly!!! Thank you so much for putting into words the EXACT feelings that I have felt when it comes to embarking, enduring, and persevering on a weight loss journey! I loved the part when you talk about others around you who show semi-interest, but then pull away when they go back to eating their own kind of "junk." It just doesn't seem fair, but oh, it is completely worth it, YOU are COMPLETELY WORTH IT! And YOU will SUCCEED!!!You are such a great example to me and I truly appreciate your honesty and sense of humor. Because this journey is incredibly hard, you really do have to laugh you way through this :) Keep up the awesome work, YOU ARE AMAZING!!!

Can I just tell you how incredibly timely this was?! I started INSANITY two days ago to try to lose the 40+ lbs I gained having four kids. I got halfway through my workout today and felt like I couldn't go any more, so I turned it off and came to check my email. I decided to hop on over to your blog and just check in to see if there was anything fun you have been working on and I read your post. After reading it, I knew it was a total heaven-sent post for me!!! You are so incredibly motivating. I love that you tell it how it is: its not easy, not fun, but incredibly worth it. I knew after reading it that I was having a more "poor me, I don't think I can do this, its meant for people who have smaller bodies, etc" moment. After I finished reading, I went straight back into my room and finished the workout I started. I know I will have more days like that, but getting over the blocks and seeing people like you who push through will help me beat it. Thanks for bearing it all and putting yourself out there. You truly made a difference to me!

You are not alone, I have seen those same people at the gym and I totally want to kick muscle head's butt, and skinny chick on the treadmill next to me!! Also, YOU GO GIRL! Keep up the hard work. I lost a lot of weight 2 years ago, and I got sick of people asking how much I have lost so far, so I started telling them I've lost a 5 year old child off my body. But when I realized I had lost a 9 year old child (and I still wasn't a skinny girl) I just said I have more to go and left it at that. It really isn't anybody else's business.

I love how completely honest you are about this! I am having a baby in less than a month (missing SNAP- boo! but sending my blog partner/identical twin Kelli in my place- yay!) and am already struggling with the weight I've gained and know I will have to work hard to get it off after baby is here... right smack dab in the middle of swimsuit season. But reading your posts motivate the heck out of me and I love love love your ending quote about making it a habit that keeps it going. If you can do it, I can do it! Keep it up, girlfriend! We're all rooting for you!XOXO

Love It!! Thank you for your candor and humor. I have had these same conversations in my head I am learning to apply the word of God when the negative thoughts or words come. Verses like "I CAN do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13 God is on our side and loves us. Keep going don't stop!

Love It!! Thank you for your candor and humor. I have had these same conversations in my head I am learning to apply the word of God when the negative thoughts or words come. Verses like "I CAN do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13 God is on our side and loves us. Keep going don't stop!

I love this post! You are so awesome and beautiful no matter what, but it is great that you are making these changes for a healthier you! Every time I get mad and frustrated about how hard weight loss is, I just remind myself that it would be all the more difficult if I let another year of accumulating 10+ pounds go by. Hang in there - it's a journey, not a destination - and there are so many on the same road!

I have been right where you are. Busting my ass to truly get in shape for the first time in my life. And now I'm right back where I swore I would never be again. I changed my life and then life changed me. Isn't it insane to think about all we endure and process as women? Marriage, children, complicated family situations, faith, life . . . I now wear my stress/weakness physically on my hips. I'd rather have it there than be smoking it or drinking it. But either way its unhealthy. I really hope you hold on to the fire you have right now and feed it everyday. My fire burnt out and I will tell you that it sucks majorly to try and re-light it. Hold onto where you are and keep pushing forward. Don't even think about looking back. Own it. This moment is all YOU baby :)

The "muscle guy in the mirror" thing made me laugh. My husband laughs every time he comes home at the guys that make huge grunting noises and aren't even doing lifts right because they're trying to lift like 1000 lbs. And of course, always admiring themselves in the mirror. He's a firm believer mirrors just shouldn't be allowed in the gym :D Anywho, thanks for the laugh and keep it up!

What a great honest post! I get really red in the face when I exercise even a little. So after a rough one I almost look purple I have had people ask if I am okay Muhahaha! I read a book not to long ago called Women Food and God By Geneen Roth. It was a the start of my weight loss journey (the last and final one! was determines and realized i needed to be doing mental workouts too) It was enlightening and open my eyes to things i never realized. Its a great book if you get a chance to read it.Keep up the hard work!

I'm with you sister! And I know there are more of "us" than there are of "them". We do what we can do. We have setbacks and we have victories too! I gave up having seconds of anything (including drink refills except water) for Lent. It is hard, and it sucks and I wholeheartedly believe pony-tail girl is starving...Keep on keeping on!

What a great post!!! You really helped push me! I have been working out and losing weight since July. Lately I have just been working out...I haven't been pushing myself. Well after this post I have been pushing myself. I have spent the past 3 days with a very sore body. I keep pushing because I know I will see better results! I also love when I can do more. I have always wanted to run. Today I ran longer on the treadmill then I ever have before. =)

Congrats! Personally I've gained quite a bit with both of my pregnancies and it took about a year and a half each time to get back to being a 'ponytail girl' again. I know some girls just talk the whole time but not me, I'm like trying not to puke on the machine. I've been there, it's hard work, every pound is blood and sweat and tears. Keep your head up, you're doing great!

Had to smile at your post. I have plenty of pony tail flippers in my area! :) You just keep focused. Don't compare yourself (horizontally) with others, compare yourself (vertically) with your own self and where you have been in the past and where you are headed. Thats all that matters. You are an inspiration to me and I am proud of you and your commitment to take care of you. Soooo what I need to finally do.

I love your posts. Thanks so much for telling it like it really is. I almost didnt write a comment on here because I didn't want to give you one more thing to think about in terms of your weight loss, i know if you are like me, once you have a plan that is working it so hard to change things up. You are on a roll! You are such an inspiration to me. But, You mentioned you are tempted by other foods and hungry and I feel for you! i wanted to share something with you that has been eye opening to me recently. Its a book called Eat To Live. (it's the closest thing to the word of wisdom i have ever found) anyway, whats awesome is, you eat as much as you want pretty much and you are never hungry! it's just eating whole foods no processed (even dark chocolate with not too much sugar) (and i eat what ever dressing i want on my salads) tons of fruits ( i always make smoothies) and veggies (salads, stir fry etc) and whole grains, beans seeds nuts etc. it's surprising the wonderful variety there is and how freeing it feels to not count calories etc. Anyway. check it out if you want to. My mom has had huge success with it (40lbs since the holidays and she is 67!) and I started a month or so ago and have dropped 8 lbs and it seems too good to be true. i don't feel like it's a diet at ALL! Anyway, It's a completely different mindset but if you check out the website there are some testimonials that are pretty dang inspiring. I wish you so much success! I appreciate all you do on your blog. : )

My hat goes off to you. It is hard work. I reluctantly decided to post a comment here because everyone these days has an opinion on the best way to loose weight. I struggled for years with every meal plan, every gym, personal trainer etc... I constantly had at least ten different people at any given moment telling me I should try this plan or that gym etc... Telling me things I already knew and most times had already tried. I felt just like you do. Why do I have to fight so hard for such little reward? One day on my way to the thrift store I noticed a gym across the from the LA boxing and next door to the hot yoga studio. I hadn't heard of it before. I didn't pay much mind to it and went about my business. Then I was walking to my car and it caught my eye again and for some strange reason I had this nagging voice inside me telling me to go in and see what it was. So I did.That was when I first found out about Crossfit. It was expensive, and the people in there weren't messing around. It looked hard. Harder than anything I had ever done before. So I went home and jumped on you tube. I watched just about every video there was regarding Crossfit. I was excited, it was challenging, it produced results and it lit this fire inside me I hadn't felt about working out in a long long time.My first class I learned how to lift weights. Weights I didn't think I was capable of lifting. And I felt totally silly squatting into these strange positions with a huge barbell over my head. Second class I actually did a workout. I puked mid session. Third class I tried to call in dead but they insisted I come just to use the rowing machine, then I was conned into doing the daily workout. I think I puked again. And all the while it was the strangest feeling to be doing these workouts and cursing myself for getting into this in the first place, but then when I went home I felt like some sort of victor and couldn't stop day dreaming about my next workout. I've never felt so empowered, like winning the olympics.After a couple weeks I learned about Paleo eating. No counting calories, no measuring food portions, no special meal plans or food kits or protein shakes. Just good old fashioned clean eating. Veggies, Fruit, Lean meats, nuts and seeds. It was hard at first. I felt restricted. But I found resources online. Other bloggers living the paleo lifestyle. People creating amazing meals and desserts withing the confinements of clean foods. We don't eat any grains. Any, including rice or corn. No white potatoes or sugar. No Beans and no dairy. I eased my way into the world of paleo. First by cutting out the grains. Then the sugar and beans and last the dairy. My workouts have improved. My health has improved. I can't remember the last time I had heart burn or gas. I rarely get head aches. Even my menstrual cramps have all since diminished. Occassionally I feel the need to punish myself and I eat something full of gluten and sugar etc when dining out or with family and I'm sick as a dog for a few days. But today ( a year later) my family of 5 all eat paleo. We make our bread with almond and coconut flours. We use coconut milk and agave for sweetening. I use bananas to sweeten many of our foods. We love sweet potatoes. I can bake cakes, cookies, ice cream, pancakes etc... all within the paleo foods. I'm not trying to sell you or convince you that this is for you. I just wanted to share my story because I wish someone had done so for me a long time ago. Good luck in your adventures! Keep at it. One thing my trainers always told me was, it gets easier.

First off........You are absolutely beautiful without makeup, just as you are with makeup! I noticed that before I even read this post.2nd..........Those other people at the gym sound like they are a bit self-absorbed and there to get attention, not to improve their health and meet personal goals. The heck with them....even though it may be easier said than done!!3rd........I envy your self-disipline and commitment to pursue and continue to pursue your goal of better health and weight loss. Your self-disipline and commitment is truly inspiring and honestly helps push me to work harder to reach my weight-loss goal. I've fallen off the wagon, again!!!! Time for me to hop back on and stick with it!!!!!

First off........You are absolutely beautiful without makeup, just as you are with makeup! I noticed that before I even read this post.2nd..........Those other people at the gym sound like they are a bit self-absorbed and there to get attention, not to improve their health and meet personal goals. The heck with them....even though it may be easier said than done!!3rd........I envy your self-disipline and commitment to pursue and continue to pursue your goal of better health and weight loss. Your self-disipline and commitment is truly inspiring and honestly helps push me to work harder to reach my weight-loss goal. I've fallen off the wagon, again!!!! Time for me to hop back on and stick with it!!!!!

I wanted to thank you for this post. I have lost 40 lbs since the beginning of the year but this past 3 weeks I have completely fallen off the wagon. I told myself yesterday, "Monday is the day to get back on" (I needed to give myself Mother's day off). Then, today I stumbled accros your post and it really inspired me. You are AWESOME - THANK YOU!!!! Watch out Monday, here I come...

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