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You should be a sports-liker part two: the second part of a series

Since I received a bounty of support from my previous post, I’ve decided to slam my book of reasons onto the table again to pull out three more excerpts.

5. Sports make you not sit on the couch sometimes, but also there are other times where you will sit on the couch.

If you wish to play sports, you can! They make you very active and sometimes, when you’re feeling especially heavy, you may want to be active. However, you can also relax and continue sportsing as well! There’s an item sitting on your entertainment centre just waiting to be turned on, helping you ease your mind. Turn that television to sports! They aren’t ever boring, and are mostly exciting at times.

6. For girls only: you can impress the opposite sex with your extensive knowledge.

Studies have shown that over 37 per cent of all girls who do sports have friends that are guys. Pretty crazy stat when you think about it. Sure, there’s a shortage of sportsing people out there on both sides, but it is sometimes uncommon to find a woman that gets excited every time that quarterback throws the pigskin (latin for: football) to his teammate. This rule even applies to those in relationships! If you are losing your man friend’s attention because his gaze is fixed on the excitement-filled Blue Jays game, maybe you should stop and smell the jock strap.

7. For guys only: you can have your own language that some women won’t be able to understand!

Imagine being able to tell the bros about how mad your girlfriend makes you while she’s sitting right there. It’s a possibility, if you get into sports. Watch and learn:

See? If I wouldn’t have told you what they were talking about, you would have had no idea. But, be wary, sports-likers, it seems like I’ve spilled the beans. You may have to move on to a different sport.

But, this works every time, I swear*.

*The writer does not condone using this to talk about secrets, as it has never truly been effective. Some girls have gone on to call him “stupid,” “arrogant,” and also say, “what, do you think girls are idiots? A lot of us watch as much sports as you do.”

2 thoughts on “You should be a sports-liker part two: the second part of a series”

Kyle, sometimes your posts make me feel like my home team just intercepted the ball on the opposing 2 yard line in the last 8 seconds of a close game where the only score was the other team kicking two field goals (one of which didn’t really count because their right guard was totally offside and I don’t know how the stupid ref didn’t see it), and then running it back ALL THE WAY AND HOLY CRAP DID YOU JUST SEE THAT WE’RE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS BABY!