i just saw someone say she and her dh say they have decided not to have kids and decided they'd be better as cat parents. if that heiffer wanted the same type of leave to bond with her pvssy[ies]....i'd feel some tye of way.

Maysay it's not late . ^^^ I want to adopt you . India needs a sister to argue with . I swear you never will agree with mothers , Jesus, or anything that relates to having children . I love you though . Now that i see how hard you stand for your op .

Not true, really I swear.

I think people who are emotionally, physically, and financially stable are the only ones who should be having children. I think people who abuse and neglect their children are scum. Simple.

A medical reason is a medical reason...doesn't matter if that's because of a car accident or a c-section.

A non-medical reason is a non-medical reason...doesn't matter if it's bonding with your baby or bonding with yourself at a meditation retreat.

and this is the part that is crazy to me

they call the first three months of a baby's life the fourth trimester

how can you even compare that time to a retreat?

You might could (yes ) stop breathing suddenly in your sleep or discover you have a hole in your heart or you might even be trying out breast feeding, the retreat might have a lactation consultant for people with calcium deficiency.

We're Black women in America and of all the things that are unfair you(Maysay) are passionate about eliminating maternity leave. There's more than one thing wrong with that line of thinking. But opinions are opinions...

How does me talking about maternity leave in one thread indicate that I don't recognize that there are lots of unfair things in the world?

Currently on my list of things that I worry about:foster carethe unjust legal systemlack of access to healthy foodthe super high suspension rate of black children in preschoolthe sexual assault rate of black children and womengenocide and civil war in the sudan, congo, and other places in africalack of access to std, pregnancy, and child rearing information for black womenunequal pay for black womenthe sterilization of ethiopian refugees in israel...and on and on and on

Dads breast-feeding their babies? Gender-bending photos aim to show support

Meghan Holohan

March 4, 2014 at 11:57 PM ET

Project: Breastfeeding by Hector Cruz Photography

Photographer Hector Cruz started off with the goal of raising money for billboards with images like this around his hometown of Clarksville, Tenn., but after the public latched on to his photos, he's expanding his goals.

The photograph shows a shirtless man, clutching an infant to his breast much as a nursing mother would. Beside him is a message: “Project Breastfeeding. If I Could, I Would.”

“I decided that the best way to get the conversation started was to get the men involved," says Hector Cruz, founder of Project Breastfeeding. "There is nothing out there for men [about breast-feeding]. I wanted to change that.”

These photographs, a twist on slick ads, are part of a project Cruz started to educate men about breast-feeding. After his wife, Nicole, gave birth to their daughter Sophia on Oct. 11, 2013, she struggled with breast-feeding. Suddenly, Cruz became immersed in a world of nipple guards and latching problems, and he felt helpless and confused.

A 2013 CDC report notes that women are more successful at nursing when fathers support them. The report also finds that dads who know more about breast-feeding are better able to encourage their wives

Project: Breastfeeding by Hector Cruz Photography

Many dads want to support their partner's efforts at breast-feeding, but aren't sure how. Hector Cruz's photo project aims to support breast-feeding education for men.

Cruz hired a lactation consultant to help his wife and daughter. He soon realized that most of the information about breast-feeding targeted mothers.

But first, Cruz had to find subjects. Alan Bartlett’s wife, Rebecca, exclusively breast-fed the couple’s two daughters, so he felt very passionate about it. When Cruz asked if he would pose, Bartlett immediately said yes.

“I think that men posing with their child in a similar way as women breast-feeding … shows the support that men have for their wives,” he says.

Project: Breastfeeding by Hector Cruz Photography

Alan Bartlett, holding daughter Avalee, wanted to show support for his wife, Rebecca, who exclusively breast-fed the couple’s two daughters,

Bartlett, an IT specialist who works in Fort Campbell, Ky., didn’t feel self-conscious posing topless and mimicking breast-feeding with his daughter, Avalee. The 9-month-old squirmed a lot, making the photo shoot tricky, but it felt as natural as holding her. He enjoyed being able to make a public statement supporting his wife.

A 2013 CDC report notes that women are more successful at nursing when fathers support them.

While Cruz’s original intention was to post a billboard, his photography project has become so popular that people across the country are now asking if Cruz will photograph them. When these families contact him, he says the fathers tell him how they wish they understood more about breast-feeding.

“[There are] a lot of dads who are excited to see the project," Cruz says. "A lot of the guys who are pro- breast-feeding feel like they have a voice. The pictures just allowed the conversation to start.”

Cruz now plans to start a nonprofit dedicated to educating dads about breast-feeding.

“We actually have really good questions and we want to know [about breast-feeding]," he says. "Every guy wants to be a good father and good husband and we don’t know how to do that. I want every guy to have a place to go.”

Just found out recently that my job sucks. Maternity leave = you dont get fired. But you have to exhaust your vacation time, sick leave, and short-term disability.

Maysay, assuming that you have some sort of medical condition that makes you use up your sick leave and is making you feel so strongly about this; wouldn't you be upset if you end up having a baby next year and your employer tells you that you dont get paid for any of the associated days because you already exhausted all of your sick leave on your existing condition?

Having a baby is a choice, but someone's got to do it. It's a
"burden" that we're blessed to have.. and it's kind of necessary to
continue life

Probably like 10 years ago I may have agreed with you, but now that I've
grown, I realize there are very valid reasons for maternity leave. And I
do think that the post-natal bonding, adjustment period, and other
reasons to stay home ARE health reasons.

Imagine the stress you'd have
going back to work the day after giving birth b/c you used your sick
leave already. The hormones changes, whatever kind of changes your body might be going through or leaking

Stressful situations surrounding pregnancy are correlated
with post partum depression, and we know what that can lead to. Not
having time to bond with the child leads to issues; and I dont know if
this is a myth or noth, but everyone says youre not supposed to have a
newborn out and about (like in daycares).

Just found out recently that my job sucks. Maternity leave = you dont get fired. But you have to exhaust your vacation time, sick leave, and short-term disability.

Maysay, assuming that you have some sort of medical condition that makes you use up your sick leave and is making you feel so strongly about this; wouldn't you be upset if you end up having a baby next year and your employer tells you that you dont get paid for any of the associated days because you already exhausted all of your sick leave on your existing condition?

Well, no one just ends up having a baby. That's a choice.

And I have lupus, used up all my temporary disability last year, and can't work now. Both my former employer and the state have zero f*cks to give. Just getting that temporary disability was a huge ordeal, especially while being so sick I could barely leave the house. If I chose to get pregnant, I'd be doing that knowing I'm already up sh*ts creek without a paddle or a life jacket.

Like I said, people make choices. Choosing to get pregnant is no more special than choosing to climb mount everest so everyone should get the same consideration.

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