Menu

About Self-Confidence

Strange word, isn't it? Some of you may hear this for the first time, some of you have already experienced a lot with this feeling.

Yes, right, I would define self-confidence as a feeling or belief that the person is certain about his/her abilities to make, to achieve and create something. Usually, people with self-confidence judge fairly their self-esteem and very often (almost always) they get what they want. Important that they know what they want and they judge their skills and abilities very fairly.

Usually, people mix four definitions: self-esteem, self-importance, selfishness, and self-confidence. It is a bit confusing as all of these start with "self". However, these definitions have quite different meaning.

Self-esteem is self-evaluation, in other words, how people value themselves. For example, self-esteem can be underestimated: a person could think that he/she is not good enough for this job (especially, when it's not true), or he/she does not deserve love and respect (but every single human being a priori deserves it!). Self-esteem could be also overestimated. A simple example is when there's a lack of required skills to get or achieve something. However, I would say that people who overestimate themselves but who have a self-confidence can achieve everything they want.

Let's look inside self-importance. Again, there are two signs "plus" and "minus". In "plus" case, people put themselves in the first place, which is not bad. But sometimes, it is all only about themselves and their importance. The world is spinning only around his/herself and all interest of course only about him/her. These people usually don't like to participate in a conversation about anyone but himself/herself. On the other hand, there are people who think that they are not important for others and for themselves. They very often play the second role in their lives allowing others even to use themselves to show that other people are more important.

We have to listen ourselves clearly, play the main role in our lives but also respect people around.

Selfishness, ha, it's a popular discussion nowadays. One can say that being selfish is good, another - that we have to sacrifice more for other people. In the era of gadgets, social networks, growing "skills" competition and technology, improving social security and guarantees, the selfishness is becoming "okay", "accepted" phenomenon. Being selfish is not bad, but you have to give something, help, and respect other people too.

I'll give you an example. Imagine your parents who granted you their time, who paid your education and still help you. Don't they deserve your help, your time, respect and attention in exchange? It's pretty fair, don't you agree? Being selfish means don't respect, use people, and ignore them on behalf of your self-importance.

So, these definitions are a bit similar, but also different, as they always go together.

It's okay when you jump between "under" and "over" of these feelings, we are all humans and we make mistakes.

However, I give you an advice in finding your own level/balance of these complicated things. Look at yourself and your behavior from the other side, like it's someone else looking at you. And ask yourself: "is it right, good for me? Do I waste my time over-judging myself, or I just have to step forward and try again? Do I waste myself on behalf of other people? Why they always get what they want and I do not?"

ASKING, ANALYZING, AND IMPROVING YOURSELF IS A PART OF SELF-CONFIDENCE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE TO PERFECT, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG TO ACCEPT YOURSELF. WHEN THIS STAGE IS DONE YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD BY IMPROVING YOURSELF.