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goals

I am in such a mixed up state just now – and more about that in a minute. First an update on my goals I set last week.

I got halfway there! 3 out of 7 days I kept within my calories, 4 out of 6 days I exercised. Not great, but a massive improvement from the previous week, so I’m ok with it.

So this week! Last Friday my boss phoned and asked if I could go to our head office next week. He was supposed to be attending a two day training course, but he’s been called away so wants me to stand in.

Now – I’ve travelled with my job for the past 5 years, and it’s never been an issue, and I love learning new stuff, so that’s good.

The mixed up ness? Well, this is the first time away from home since I came out of hospital, my first time away from hubby and my son, and I’m scared. I don’t know why, I have no idea what I think could happen, but I can’t stop crying. I know I will be fine, it’s something I’ve done so many times before, and my health has been settled since I came home, so nothing is going to kick off there just because I’m away from home. I’m going to miss my two so much!

There’s also the brain fog, and the anxiety and lack of confidence that comes with the Lupus, will I be able to walk into a room with a load of strangers? Will I be able to learn this new system? Will I remember how to get there? Will I be able to handle the 4 hour journey, with suitcase and laptop? And do it all again coming home?

I’ve also got to now do a weeks worth of work in 2 days, so once I’m back in the office tomorrow I’m not going to have much chance to stress, not till I get to Tuesday evening anyway.

Today – I’ve been out for my C25K, I’m on to week 3 now, and the rest of the day will be spent emotionally eating.

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