I was reading along, thinking it was really interesting and it seemed like he was really together and it sounded like he and his wife really, really had been honest with each other and then he said this:

Quote:

"I believe the doctrine of the Mormon Church is true. One of the key doctrines of the church is that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” Another is that “children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”

And I thought UGH! And the problem I have with it, is that it judges every other type of family, he doesn't explicitly say "I judge you" but by saying he deeply believes X the implication that Y is lesser is there.

Mat.

_________________Lady Gaga and Beyonce should run her over with the kitten Wagon for that one comment alone - Torque (speaking of Katy Perry)

I could go off on pages long rants about the LDS church, and feel fully justified in doing so since they profited off my membership for years, but I'll leave it short and simple: It's really sad that anyone would put that much trust and faith in an organization that flatly denies their right to be who they know they are.

I really hope he's happy. I hope he's being honest with himself and has the wisdom and strength to separate his beliefs/needs from what the church is telling him he believes and needs. No relationship is perfect, and I never want to judge, but this makes me so sad. And when it involves a family... I hope he's being true to himself.

Yeh, I've been reading Dan Savage's commentary on this-- his main issue is that if there's one open gay guy married to a woman (happily, he claims), then he will become the poster-child for not allowing same-sex marriage at all. Hey, if THAT GUY can be happy married to a lady, so you can you, ya homo! Get with a chick already and get over it!

Being gay does not mean you are a sinner or that you are evil. Sin is in action, not in temptation or attraction. I feel this is a very important distinction. This is true for every single person. You don’t get to choose your circumstances, but you do get to choose what you do with them.

Don't worry gay folks, being gay is fine, you just can't be in a gay relationship having gay sex. Or, well, you can, but you'll be sinning. But everybody sins, so I'm not really judging you! But sins are immoral acts.

*brainsplode*

_________________"I feel like it's not a real political discussion if I'm not morally opposed to something I don't understand." - ndpittman

I won’t get into the boring details of the research here, but basically when sex is done right, at its deepest level it is about intimacy. It is about one human being connecting with another human being they love. It is a beautiful physical manifestation of two people being connected in a truly vulnerable, intimate manner because they love each other profoundly. It is bodies connecting and souls connecting. It is beautiful and rich and fulfilling and spiritual and amazing. Many people never get to this point in their sex lives because it requires incredible communication, trust, vulnerability, and connection.

(...)"free to be you and me" is not the lesson anti-gay religious conservatives are going to draw from Josh Weed's case. They will hold Weed up as proof that there's no need for marriage equality or domestic partnerships or civil unions—no need to recognize same-sex couples under the law at all—because all gay people everywhere should follow Josh Weed's example. Society should encourage each of us to find an opposite-sex partner who is willing to marry us and who we can either fork successfully while thinking about gay sex or whom we feel so strongly about that we 1. actually enjoy forking or 2. will claim we enjoy forking in blog posts that our opposite-sex partners help us write. Unicorn Marriages—Weed describes himself as a unicorn—will be pushed as Plan B for gays and lesbians who flunk out of ex-gay ministries.

I won’t get into the boring details of the research here, but basically when sex is done right, at its deepest level it is about intimacy. It is about one human being connecting with another human being they love. It is a beautiful physical manifestation of two people being connected in a truly vulnerable, intimate manner because they love each other profoundly. It is bodies connecting and souls connecting. It is beautiful and rich and fulfilling and spiritual and amazing. Many people never get to this point in their sex lives because it requires incredible communication, trust, vulnerability, and connection.

Basically any straight guy who wants a sex life that's as rich and fulfilling and amazing and spiritual and connected as the Gay Josh enjoys with Straight Lolly... should marry a gay dude. It's the only way to avoid powerful chems and infatuation and obsession and the rest of that actually-physically-attracted-to-your-spouse shiitake that, according to Josh, has wound up ruining the sex lives of most of the straight people that he personally knows.

You want a great sex life, straight boys? Take Josh's advice: find yourself a nice fag, someone you can connect with on a deeper level, and marry him.

I have a list of favourite mumbles' quotes. This one shoots right to the top of the hit parade.

We should dump talking about hdog and talk about Mumbles instead. I'll see you on FB in 4 minutes.

_________________A whole lot of access and privilege goes into being sanctimonious pricks J-DubDessert is currently a big bowl of sanctimonious, passive aggressive vegan enduced boak. FezzaYou people are way less funny than Pandacookie. Sucks to be you.-interrobang?!

I am sexually attracted to men. I am not sexually attracted to women. It is very simple. I have many, many years of experience which confirm this to be true, but it’s really as simple as what a girl asked me* in junior high—and I’m sorry if this is a little blunt, but I’ve never found a question that cuts to the heart of the matter more effectively— “so, if everyone in this room took off their clothes, would you be turned on by the girls or the guys?” My answer, which I didn’t say out loud, was unquestionably the guys. And it was unquestionably not the girls.

He contradicts himself ... a lot. If he's not attracted to women, he's not attracted to his wife. He may have found a way to have sex with her but he's not really sexually attracted to her.

_________________A whole lot of access and privilege goes into being sanctimonious pricks J-DubDessert is currently a big bowl of sanctimonious, passive aggressive vegan enduced boak. FezzaYou people are way less funny than Pandacookie. Sucks to be you.-interrobang?!

I'm trying to let this go but...he needs to stop saying that he feels "compassion" for those poor gay people. Also, fork him for suggesting that the only real family is one composed of children and their biological parents. I presume that adoptive parents are also artificial?

_________________A whole lot of access and privilege goes into being sanctimonious pricks J-DubDessert is currently a big bowl of sanctimonious, passive aggressive vegan enduced boak. FezzaYou people are way less funny than Pandacookie. Sucks to be you.-interrobang?!

The odds are certainly stacked against them for that marriage working out long term.

As long as they are sincere members of the Mormon faith, they will stay married. I think that is a big motivating force for him.

_________________A whole lot of access and privilege goes into being sanctimonious pricks J-DubDessert is currently a big bowl of sanctimonious, passive aggressive vegan enduced boak. FezzaYou people are way less funny than Pandacookie. Sucks to be you.-interrobang?!

I don't see this as a big deal. It sounds like he is a gay man in love with and attracted to a woman. I'm not a fan of the sin talk, but I don't think hisbeing gay is dooming his relationship. It's not like he has to fit in a particular box just because he is gay.

I don't see this as a big deal. It sounds like he is a gay man in love with and attracted to a woman. I'm not a fan of the sin talk, but I don't think hisbeing gay is dooming his relationship. It's not like he has to fit in a particular box just because he is gay.

Had he simply said that he loves his wife and family, and was happy and didn't need to start a new relationship, then that wouldn't be a big deal.

The problem with this is that by invoking the Mormon Church's beliefs as a reason for him to stay in the marriage, he's implicitly stating that it is immoral to engage in a same-sex relationship. Not only does he show his hand at denial (love isn't the only reason he's staying with his wife), but he's passing judgment on anyone who decides to not sacrifice their own happiness and well-being by repressing their sexuality. He may say in those final paragraphs that it is absolutely wrong to judge, but he already has. And doing so doesn't isn't innocuous--it can elicit some seriously damaging consequences for others who are already afraid to live as themselves.

_________________"So often I wish Adam were a real boy." - interrobang?!"If he was you'd hear him farting at the back of your yoga class." - 8ball

I don't know...is it shitty? For sure. But...he's a religious gay dude who can't even begin to live honestly because his religion (and culture at large) is homophobic. I just feel sorry for him. It sounds like he's tried to reconcile his sexuality and his faith and has found a way that (for now at least) works.

As to the idea that homophobes will use this as justification for inequality, maybe. But their arguments don't actually stand on reason. They stand on outright bigotry. They don't need to point to this guy and say "see, gayz?! Marry a woman!", because all of their arguments stand on the "EWWW GAY" principle which is as far from reason and logic as possible. Homophobes are gonna be homophobes regardless of whether this guy sleeps with men or his wife.

_________________"I'd rather have dried catshit! I'd rather have astroturf! I'd rather have an igloo!"~Isa

"But really, anyone willing to dangle their baby in front of a crocodile is A-OK in my book."~SSD

I don't know...is it shitty? For sure. But...he's a religious gay dude who can't even begin to live honestly because his religion (and culture at large) is homophobic. I just feel sorry for him. It sounds like he's tried to reconcile his sexuality and his faith and has found a way that (for now at least) works.

As to the idea that homophobes will use this as justification for inequality, maybe. But their arguments don't actually stand on reason. They stand on outright bigotry. They don't need to point to this guy and say "see, gayz?! Marry a woman!", because all of their arguments stand on the "EWWW GAY" principle which is as far from reason and logic as possible. Homophobes are gonna be homophobes regardless of whether this guy sleeps with men or his wife.

But what about the readers who are, like himself, religious and gay and maybe don't want to make the same choice he's made? This is an article that's had a large readership--and it wasn't even published that long ago. I agree that he's not going to further strengthen homophobes--they do that for themselves. But I do think it's a realistic concern that this could discourage some readers from being true to themselves.

_________________"So often I wish Adam were a real boy." - interrobang?!"If he was you'd hear him farting at the back of your yoga class." - 8ball