Thursday, 20 June 2013

Domestic violence seems to be on the increase or maybe it’s
just with the advent of social media networks that we hear about different
sordid tales.

Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, regardless
of size, gender, or strength. Yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or
denied.

This is especially true when the abuse is psychological,
rather than physical.

Emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep
and lasting scars.

Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one
person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control
the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called
domestic violence.

Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one
purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you.

An abuser doesn’t “play
fair”.

Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you
down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt
you, or hurt those around you.

SIGNS THAT
YOU’RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

Do you: feel afraid of your partner most of the time/

Avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?

Feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?

Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated? Wonder if
you’re the one who is crazy? Feel emotionally numb or helpless?

Does your partner: have a bad and unpredictable temper?

Hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you? Threaten to take
your children away or harm them? Threaten to commit suicide if you leave? Force
you to have sex? Destroy your belongings?

SEXUAL ABUSE IS
A FORM OF PHYSICAL ABUSE

Does your partner: humiliate or yell at you? Criticize you
and put you down? Treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends
or family to see? Ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments? Blame
you for their own abusive behavior? See you as a property or a sex object,
rather than as a person?

YOUR
PARTNER’S CONTROLLING BEHAVIOUR

Does your partner: act excessively jealous and possessive?

Control where you go or what you do? Keep you from seeing
your friends or family? Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
Constantly check up on you?

PHYSICAL ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

When people talk about domestic violence, they often
referring to the physical abuse of a spouse or intimate partner.

Physical abuse is the use of physical force against someone
in a way that injures or endangers that person. Physical assault or battering
is a crime, whether it occurs inside or outside of the family.

The police have the power and authority to protect you from
physical attack.

Any situation in which you are forced to participate in
unwanted, unsafe, or degrading sexual activity is sexual abuse. Forced sex,
even by a spouse or intimate partner with whom you also have consensual sex, is
an act of aggression and violence.

Furthermore, people whose partners abuse them physically and
sexually are at a higher risk of being seriously injured or killed.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE

It’s a bigger problem than you think.

When people think of domestic abuse, they often picture
battered women who have physically assaulted. But not all abusive relationships
involve violence. Just because you’re not battered and bruised doesn’t mean
you’re not being abused. Many men and women suffer from emotional abuse, which
is no less destructive.

Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often minimized or
overlooked-even by the person being abused

UNDERTSTANDING EMOTIONAL ABUSE

The aim of emotional abuse is to chip away at your feelings
of self-worth and independence. If you’re the victim of emotional abuse, you
may feel that there is no way out of the relationship or that without your
abusive partner you have nothing.

Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as yelling,
name-calling, blaming, and shaming. Isolation, intimidation, and controlling
behavior also fall under emotional abuse. Additionally, abusers who use
emotional or psychological abuse often throw in threats of physical violence or
other repercussions if you don’t do what they want.

You may think that physical abuse is far worse than
emotional abuse, since physical violence can send you to the hospital and leave
you with scars. But, the scars of emotional abuse are very real, and they run
deep.

In fact, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical
abuse-sometimes even more so.

Violent and abusive behavior is the abuser’s choice.

Despite what many people believe, domestic violence and
abuse is not due to the abuser’s loss of control over his or her behavior.

In fact, abusive behavior and violence is a deliberate
choice made by the abuser in order to control you.

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