Yes, I Chose to Give Birth at Home

When you tell people that you are planning to have your baby out of the hospital, without fail, people will react in one of two ways. The first group will smile warmly and say, "wow, that's really great!"

But that group isn't most people. Most people will furrow their brow and search your face for signs of fanaticism or mental impairment, until they eventual blurt out, "but why?"

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When I was expecting my first child, I did all of the "new mom" research and I sought out topnotch medical care. I felt huge and slightly nauseated, but I also felt amazed that my body was just kind of doing this thing on its own. And when I reflected on that, I felt powerful. It occurred to me that pregnancy and childbirth was not a medical issue that required treatment, it was just life, and by some miracle, my body knew what to do.

So I sought out care with a midwife practice that specialized in home and birth center births.

In the midwives waiting room, there were three styles of expectant mother. The first group, as you might expect, were the all-natural Earth mamas. The second group was from a nearby insulated religious community and moms were easily identifiable by floor-length homemade dresses. Then there were the women like me: the alpha moms. The moms squeezed into maternity suits, glued to their phones, who didn't know what they were doing, but trusted that they could darn well do it.

As my pregnancy progressed, I decided that because I was in good health, had a low-risk pregnancy, and knew that I wanted to give childbirth without medication, that maybe being in a hospital, with all of the regulations and restrictions might not be the best option for me. The idea that I could sleep in my own bed after giving birth was highly appealing to me. I was similarly desirous of being able to control the number of visitors, temperature, music, lighting, food, drink, and my ability to move around.

My husband and I signed up for classes in the& "Bradley Method" of natural childbirth to prepare. Although the method is a long (six weeks of weekly classes), I was highly attracted to the way it demands involvement from the dad/partner. A lot of new dads we knew had expressed feeling helpless during childbirth. The Bradley Method calls dad's "coaches" and really helps them get into "training" their "athletes," a metaphor which worked great for my husband, which in turn made me feel extremely supported.

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When we toured the birth center, I knew that I had found my perfect birth place option. There I could give birth, unmedicated, in a room that resembled a five star hotel, complete with queen sized bed and jacuzzi tub, in complete control of my environment, and still be home in my own bed to sleep that night. It had all the comforts of home without any of the laundry.

When I went into labor, I'll admit, it was a bigger challenge then I anticipated. The baby was turned with her back to mine, which caused a ton of pressure. I couldn't have done it without the support of our amazing doula, who rubbed my back, assured me that everything would be OK, and took the liberty of making sure my husband was eating and drinking through the 36-hour marathon, so that he could be his best for me.

And he was. He didn't leave my side for even a moment, and I had never felt more in love with him. When our amazing daughter was born, with her eyes wide open, our new little family snuggled together and marveled at the new life. We all slept in our own bed that night.

While I would make the same choice that I made a thousand times over again, I do not think it is right for everyone. The right choice is the one that empowers a new mom to feel safe and supported. For some women, that comfort comes from being in a place with medication and surgeons at the ready, for others, that feeling of safety and support comes from being trusted to be alone.

And sometimes, it isn't a choice. I've had hard things in my life, and chances are I will again, but getting to deliver my daughters out of the hospital had a lot to do with luck. I had two low-risk pregnancies that didn't require the same level of care that some pregnancies do. Some women require medical care to manage menstruation, or even just digestion and respiration, but most don't. Pregnancy is no different. It's not a medical issue for some women, but for others, it has to be.

For me, natural child birth empowered me to trust my instincts as a mom from my earliest moments in that role. I have carried that feeling with me through my biggest challenges as a parent and as a person.

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