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Nuttin For Christmas

They say I have a “pen addiction” but they just don’t understand – I want to write to my fans and at this time of year I want to especially write to Santa.

I’ve always enjoyed crunching on a good pen or two – I especially like the red ones, since they explode nicely on my lips and it looks like I did conquer my nemesis, PITA, the squirrel.

But I really shouldn’t say that since I would be deemed naughty, and put on “The Blacklist,” the parentals new show which Dad says is intriguing, whatever that means.

So I better be good so I don’t end up like that Barry Gordon song “Nuttin’ For Christmas.”

It was a blustery day in Santa Monica, and all our lips are chapped except mine which are red as well. I heard the parentals say I might need to go to Pen’s Anonymous but I might be the only one at the meetings, and it might be a pain in my gluteus maximus, which is small by the way.