Contents

[notices Pipsqueak on the Once-ler’s bed] You got to be kidding me. [to another Bar-ba-loot] Can he swim? [the Bar-ba-loot shakes his head] Of course he can't swim! Hang on, Pipsqueak! I'm comin' to get ya!

[Referring to her mural] Those are trees. Real ones. They used to grow all around here. And people said that the touch of their tufts was softer than anything, even silk. And they smelled like butterfly milk.

What I want more than anything in the whole world is to see a real living tree, growing in my backyard.

[After the Lorax accuses him of harming Pipsqueak after almost hitting him with a hammer] What? No! I would never hit this little guy. You, on the other hand, I would gladly pound you and your mustache into the ground!

[admiring his first thneed] Now that's a thneed! Nothing unmanly about knitting. No sir!

[After surviving the waterfall incident] Now, I've got a big day tomorrow, and I'm gonna get some sleep. [walks away, then comes back] Right after I find my bed.

[Closing How Bad Can I Be] All the customers are buying, and the money's multiplying, and the PR people are lying, and the lawyers are denying. Who cares if a few trees are dying? This is all so gratifying! How bad, how bad can this possibly be?!

[To the Lorax] You know what? You can just shut your mustache! My conscience is clear. I have done nothing illegal. I have my rights, and I intend to keep on biggering and biggering, and turning more Truffula trees in to Thneeds. And nothing is going to stop me!

[To Ted] Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better... it's not.

[To Ted; referring to the last Truffula seed] I know it may seem small and insignificant, but it's not about what it is, it's about what it can become. That's not just a seed... anymore than you're just a boy.

[opens the window for the first time as he hears the city singing "Let it Grow" and is on the verge of tears] Thank you, Ted.

Grammy Norma: No, really, I forgot my teeth. Would you be a dear and go get them for me?

Mrs. Wiggins: [sighs] Sure, Mom.

The Once-ler: You wanna know about trees? About what happened to them? Why they're all gone? (softly) It's because of me.

Ted: Wait, what?

[A Whisper-ma-Phone chutes down to Ted. Ted leans in to hear.]

The Once-ler: (shouts) IT'S BECAUSE OF ME!

The Once-ler: (starting to explain what happened to the trees) It all started a long time ago.

Ted: Can we start not so long ago, maybe?

The Once-ler: Do you want a tree?

Ted: Yes, yes.

The Once-ler: Then it all started a long, LONG, time ago.

Ted: [interrupting the story] Hey, hey, hey. Wait a minute.

The Once-ler: Excuse me?

Ted: [chuckles] Yeah. That's awesome. You know, feeding junk food to forest animals? That's great. But, uh, is there a musical number where you show me how to get a tree? 'Cause I'd love to hear that one.

The Once-ler: Oh, yes. Right after the musical number about the kid who kept interrupting the story and was never heard from ever again. Hmm?

Ted: Right. Got it. Proceed.

The Lorax: Did you chop down this tree?

The Once-ler: Uhh... No. Who did it?ǃ [gasps] What's that? [the Lorax looks back and Once-ler drops his axe on Pipsqueak the Bar-ba-loot] I think he did it.

The Lorax: [growls] Leave! Vacate the premises! Take your axe and get out!

The Once-ler: And who are you? [pokes the Lorax]

The Lorax: Hey, hey! I-I'm the Lorax! Guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees. [The Once-ler stares at him] So, you're telling me, that you didn't see me magically appear out of that stump. With all the lightning and thunder and stuff. You didn't see any of that?

The Once-ler: No, but that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that?

The Lorax: Uhh, yeah, I could show you. But that's not how it works.

The Once-ler: Why are you so interested in trees, anyway? Why aren't you like other kids? Break-dancing and wearing bell-bottoms and playing the Donkey Kongs?

Ted: [laughs] Yeah. Right, right. I don't know. Uh, I just thought it might be kinda cool to have one, you know.

The Once-ler: [knowingly] Aaah, it's a girl, isn't it?

Ted: [scoffs] What? No!

The Once-ler: Really? 'Cause when a guy does something stupid once, well, that's because he's a guy, but if he does the same stupid thing twice, that's usually to impress some girl.

Ted: Hey, she is not some girlǃ She's a woman. In high school. And she loves trees. And I'm gonna get her one.

The Once-ler: Aww. How nice to see someone so undeterred by things like reality.

Ted: (sincerely) Thank you.

The Once-ler: [has just been revived by the Lorax] I-I was heading into the light, and you pulled me right back, and here I am! [hugs the Lorax] You saved my life!

The Lorax: Yeah, I did, but, you know, it's not that big a deal.

The Once-ler: It is a big deal! Look, I almost went over that waterfall! [realizes] Wait... On my bed. How did my bed get in the river?

The Lorax: Uh, about that, uh... actually, um... [mumbles] I put your bed in the water. [The Once-ler drops him in shock]

Aunt Grizelda: [referring to the Lorax] So who invited the giant furry peanut?

The Lorax: You callin' me a peanut, huh? I'll go right up your nose!

Aunt Grizelda: Ha!

The Once-ler: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You wouldn't hit a woman.

The Lorax: [gasps] That's a woman?ǃ

Audrey: [to Ted] I could just kiss you right now!

[Ted and Audrey lean in to kiss, only to be stopped by Ted's mother]

Mrs. Wiggins: We don't have time for that!

Ted: I dunno, we have a little time. [Audrey and his mom stare at him] You know what? Let's just go. Let's go. Forget about it.