Crash's Diary: The Director's Cut - PART DEUX

Day 3:

Talk to barkeep, seems more....zoned now, walks around alot. Gain mission to meet a contact down in dark valley, but first...a certain annoying loner needs to be taken care of.

Talk to hunter, tells me his gun has been stolen (seems in every dimension this poor bastard has had his gun stolen) by bandits, marked one must go fetch, OFF TO WILD TERRITORY!

Pull up in jeep, silence, to silent. Phone box rings.....nobody on the other side, strange. Even stranger, vision going funny.... haven't even munched the pills that were bought from a crazy man in duty. Vision now looking like a raver on his 15th hour dance-a-thon, need asprin... and suddenly there it is. controller, stareing dead at me from across the yard, the mother F"$"^& is after my pills!!!

After running from army of snorks wanting my blood, found apc with hunter armor, perfect this will help me die slower. Proceed to walk through to visit first bandit camp (located where you meet kruglov in retail). Wait quietly, patiently behind green shed near tunnel exit with train....watching bandit walk across tunnel ramp, kill blind dog, laugh. hear noise behind me, slowly turn round to see petrol canister hovering in my face, enough time to blurt "what the fu-" before canister is wrapped round my head....game over.

Reawake after "dieing" zone doesn't want to let me go yet....proceed underneath tunnel where poltergiest are camping and being bastards, take them out, good. God back up to kill bandits, slowly, steathaly...."CHEEKI BREEKI!!!" shot gun blast to back of head, game over......

Resurrect AGAIN, zone must really love me, I AM CHOSEN ONE! avoid first bandit camp this time, they are to cunning with new AI boosts, so decide to assault second bandit camp instead. Dispatch rodents along the way, find bandit creeping around the abadoned crane, fire...MISS! mother f£$"%^ runs off to train carrige...

We sit, for about 5 mins waiting for each other to move...I see no radar movment, i hear no sounds. slowly creep up to raid body of dead bandit....."CHEEKI BREEKI!!!" gun shot from train carriger, the bastard waited the ENTIRE time....to head, game over.

.....................have come to conclusion, zone must hate me, this is hell, this is MAN MADE HELL. Resurrect again...this time no bandit will stop the chosen one. Shoot that bandit in head, move on...creep into camp, kill BOTH trench coat gits with high powered weapon, and bandit playing harmonica by campfire (NO!! Those are for PEOPLE!). SUCCESS! the shiney gun this moron cannot keep a hold of, sitting on the sofa. Stride over, triumphant in my find, walk back round corner (and seriously, i am actually amazed they manage to shout this EVERY TIME AT ME....) and..........CHEEKI BREEKI!!!! shotgun to face, game over......