Monthly Archives: January 2017

There’s this virus floating around – you get to the end of a break, and instead of just getting out, you try to “tie a neat bow around it” at the end.

Don’t, please. These “summations” sort of treat the listener like he or she is an idiot. Always assume that the Listener is AT LEAST as smart as we are.

We’re not doing Aesop’s Fables here. When you resort to “The moral of the story is…” that just sounds preachy; even smug. While “Preachy & Smug” might be a great name for a morning team on a Sports station, it’s certainly NOT how a station in any other format should want to be perceived. : -)

[10 seconds]
“KBUT 94.9 stickers on your window or bumper look great, tell people what kind of music you like, and can win you cash! Pick yours up today FREE at any Tom Thumb store.”

[20 seconds]
“KBUT 94.9 bumper stickers look great and they’re free—and just like duct tape, if you put enough of them on your car, you can actually cover up a broken window or a big dent. And the number on each one is what we use to give out cash and prizes—like maybe even a NEW car! So get your sticker today at any Tom Thumb grocery store, then listen for your number to be called out on the air.”

Now you probably already know that the shortest version is the hardest one to do. But at any length, CLARITY is the key. You can always add more word pictures, if more length will work. But if you can’t do the super-short versions, you’re not great yet.

Even very bright talents will slip up once in a while and do “pap for the masses”, thinking that it works.

This is what I heard one jock say recently:
“I love this…‘good moms let their kids lick the beaters; great moms remember to turn off the mixer first.’ Yeah, I’ve been there.”

Really? This sounds like a Hallmark Card for Mother’s Day, or something Ann Landers or Erma Bombeck might have written—in 1981. And no, you haven’t “been there,” or we’d have noticed the Child Protective Services van outside that house. (Because, apparently at some point, that mixer was left ON.)

Let’s be clear: I’m certainly not against doing things that are heartwarming or encouraging. That’s fine, but NOT if it sounds insipid or obsequious.

If you don’t know what those words mean, just ask Siri. Because, contrary to what that air talent thought, it’s not 1981 anymore.

Great stations, like great football teams, have this buzz about them – a vibe that everyone is pumped about working there. Not-so-great stations feel like a widget factory, populated by people waiting for their shifts to end so they can go home.

NFL wizard Bill Walsh, who coached the San Francisco 49’ers to multiple championships in the eighties, said “If you can get everyone to laugh together, you can get everyone to get serious together.”

I do think that’s true, and years ago, we used to do a lot of things as a unit, whether it was going to a concert, or just hanging out together.

That’s not always possible in the 21st century, but I believe you can turn Walsh’s lesson around, too: If you can get everyone to be serious together, then you can get everyone to laugh together.

No matter how bad the day has been – say there’s no coffee in the coffee maker, the computers are glitchy, or the candy machine ate your dollar bill and spat out a Zagnut with an expiration date of November 3rd, 1998 – take a moment to relax. Gather your thoughts, clear your mind, and get ready for your show. By being serious about your job, you play your part in being a team leader. And if enough people do this, something magical happens. The mood lightens when everyone is purposeful.

I know this sounds simplistic, but frankly, that’s what losing stations always think – and then pay the price for thinking that way. Do your part to make your station the one where everyone wants to work. You’ll find that there’s a lot of laughter that grows out of being really good together.