FAQ

Monday, July 2, 2012

F.U.T.U.R.E. 2.N.E.1.

YG suddenly came way outta left field with a surprise upload of some female trainee footage. Like anything female that comes out of YG these days, it was met with a surprising amount of hate and vitriol from the rabid Blackjack legions. Why, you ask?

The video itself is nothing terribly different from the usual sneak peeks entertainment companies give to hype impending debuts. A little footage of some choreo rehearsal so people can see how skilled (or unskilled) their future oppas and unnies are, a clip of some karaoke singing for jjangbak vocals, and presto -- you've just artificially inseminated the minds of future stans and birthed a new rabid fandom out of the primordial muck that is the KPop Internet.

However YG, champion of the ORIGINAL and NEW and SWAGTACULAR and INNOVATIVE and GROUNDBREAKING and ORIGINAL and SWAGTASTIC and FRESH and DIFFERENT, just had to up the ante with this one.

Taking a page from his good ol' pal Kim Kwang Soo, YG decided to put his new knobpolishers girls on display for the world to see. Only 12-13 years old, these girls do a pretty good runthrough of some choreo for Usher's OMG, followed by some swagtacular (lol) cover of some song I still don't know but I'm sure it's very edgy and unique and fresh and a totally Western (but-not-really-cause-Western=America-and-all-American-music-is-sex/drugs-but-KPop-is-wholesome) track that no one knows about yet cause YG is cutting-edge“I’m Dat Chick” by Kelly Rowland.

The biggest issue the Blackjacks have with these girls is the fact that they've been labeled with FUTURE 2NE1.

Pressed Blackjacks quickly flocked to the usual social media outlets to vent.

Worldwide Trending Topic "Future 2NE1"

WAS THIS ONE OF YOU GUYS? LOL

But everyone is pressed for no reason. Obviously YG meant Future 2NE1 to be F.U.T.U.R.E. 2.N.E.1. as an acronym for "FINDING ULTIMATE TRUTH USING REAL EMOTIONS 2NURTURE EVERY1."

It's a shame that only the girl in the blue sweater and white shorts is cute (Oh god, Chris Hansen let me finish this article first), but they've apparently still got at least 4 years til we see them debut. Who knows, maybe the other girls will get some work done before debut. But for that one already-cute girl's sake, I hope they don't try to "improve her" like they did Park Bom.

Yankee-Wannabee Yang and KKS are effectively pedophiles and need to have their sausages sawn off. Blackjacks being butthurt again - probably will jack off at pictures of Bom to relieve their anger at Old Yang.

Eh, it wouldn't make too much of a difference. VIPs see T.O.P. everywhere and get pissed off ANYWAY.

They see him in every rapper with a deep voice. They see him in every male who wears shades. They see him in every rapper who has a higher-voiced counterpart in the same group. They see him in mustard stains on their clothing. They see him in the toast they eat.

I applaud yg trolling tactics. Free promotion all the wayAnd that many manycutesy isa regular troll.But then again yg stan doesnt have alot incompany fagwar eh?I waiting for future bigbang. Top gonna go to military. I hope yg bring some boys group too

OMG U GAIZ, DEM QURLS IS DEFINATELY TRUE ARTIST!!! So fuck you guys! Big bang changed the kpop scene forever and created a new genre! 2ne1 are all about female empowerment and each one is so talented, except for Dara! But if she was putted into SNSHIT, she would be most talent! Yeah, fresher vocals! G Dragon is a genius at composing song!! And poor Daesung, he ran over someone! My sympathy goes out to Daesung :( So yeah, SM are fake plastic idols, and JYPE are filled with untalented, ugly and gay idols like Sohee,Changmin, Jo Kwon! CL is the most baddest female inside the planet! Fuck u. Eat food eat food EAT FOOD BISHES.

Dbsk are true musicians and entertainers.Yep doesnt follow sm at all(Full freedom contract!)Dbsk are the gods of kpopHallyu wave? Japan got hit by a tsunami!No one could beat dbsk in japan. (cough*snsd)Yoochun is the greatest actdol eva~Jaejoong had some work done but atleast he admits itHe has too much selfesteem to he admits its casually. not like yg or jypee

Their whorish choreography brings me right back to my middle school cheerleading practices. Those were the days.

I already see some major star power in the one in the white t-shirt and black tights.

These girls have already got one up on their TWENNYWAN UNNIRS in the dancing department. I don't spot a useless pile of waste in sight *coughDaracough*. These girls gots mad potential. If I'm still into KPOP at age 27 I will definitely check them out.

Hopefully every single one of these girls are great at singing and dancing. I mean, isn't that what SM tried to do with exo? I already spotted a couple of deadweights in exo. How much member are there be in YG girl group?