Destined for Greatness: Embracing Your Role

8:55 AMHeather

Might as well continue with my revelations and confessions about myself. I have been wrestling through a dilemma for most of my life, and I think many of you are in the same boat. What am I supposed to do? What shall I be when I grow up? What is my purpose? What is my role in this world? Or, as we've heard it said on television--how can I live my best life?

I must admit that I am realizing an embarrassing truth about myself in all this soul searching. I have been fighting against delusions of grandeur. Its not that I ever really wanted to be a famous person or celebrity. Even though I used to prance around in front of my mirror as a kid and pretend those things were true. It's more that I have this gnawing discontent in me that keeps trying to tell me there must be something more. Something bigger. Something more profound. Something impactful and memorable that I do with my life.

And, so I have wrestled this all through with the Lord for years. I had a fulfilling season of having my own business, which was great. But, He made it clear when it was time to put that away. So, I focused more intently on those three little ones under my care. But, then, before I knew it--they were all off to school every day. And, then this whole emotional tug-of-war intensified. As well as my discontent. I realized the hard way that I had expectations that when my kids were all in school during the day, God would have some other "thing" for me. As if all those years of "someday, when my kids are all in school" would usher in some great exciting new season for me.

That was a big N-O. Despite all my questioning and prayers, I still do not feel called to join the work force full-time again. There is no huge or amazing new ministry call on my life. I haven't been asked to write some best selling book, and no one has come pounding on my door with a new opportunity now that I have more margins in my day. No, instead, I seem as busy as ever while the kids are gone, yet struggle to feel purpose. When they get home, I feel tired and honestly, a bit intruded upon as my agenda must fall to the way side. And, I can get frustrated with myself and my "grass is greener" mentality.

Hasn't been pretty. And, if my instincts are right, many of you have had this same internal turmoil with the idea that you, too, were destined for greatness. All the while, you find yourself in the same hum-drum of everyday life.

As I once again lifted what now feels like an empty mantra prayer to God to show me my next "thing,"He gave me fresh perspective. Going into my now fourth year of all kids in school, I have long heard him say to bloom where I'm planted. Yeah, yeah. Mothering is a ministry and a mission field in and of itself. I KNOW! But, what else is there? My mind is full of ideas and dreams. Will they ever come to fruition? Will I ever make my big splash, my big impact?

Glimpse of GRACE: A quiet whisper in my spirit finally broke the silence of these years of praying for my great and amazing purpose. Be a pebble. Yep, that's it. Be a pebble. I've wanted to be this big huge boulder who makes a big splash in the lake of life. But, I felt the Lord say, just be a pebble. If I can have fresh eyes to see how my hum-drum everyday can be a pebble with ripple effects, then I will see that the greatness I'm destined for is already happening. Not in a "everyone knows my name" or "what a huge legacy" kind of way. But, in a quiet, faithful and still impactful kind of way. I felt the Lord give me fresh perspective on those things I already invest myself into day-to-day. To me, my impact barely breaks the surface. That's been my angst. I want to do great things--yes, for His glory. And if I had to be honest, for my own.

Yet that day, God challenged me to consider anew how my little pebble ways can have big ripple effects. The way I mother these children? Who knows the lives they touch or will touch? And then the ripple effect from there? Or how I love my husband? How that can have an impact in how he can go out and be a pebble? Or even the kindness I show the cashier? Or any number of "hum drum" things I do in a week. God can use them in ways beyond my comprehension. And, this side of heaven--ways beyond my awareness.

If I will only surrender my boulder ambitions and embrace my pebble calling. Pebbles can be great too. Their ripple effects can gently go on and on long after the big splash of a boulder. When God spoke to Elijah in 1 Kings 19, as I addressed the other day, he didn't show up in the earthquake, the great wind, or the flash of fire. Nope, God showed up in the gentle whisper. So, too, shall I be like Him. Surrendering the pressure of being a super sized, loud, huge impression in the world. And, embracing my role to be the gentle whisper of Him everywhere I go. I feel the discontent leaving my heart as I throw myself into being a pebble.