This falls under “Holy shit!” – I don’t know if it’s 100% what happened… but I certainly have my suspicions…. especially after playing with Google for a bit! Stupid brutal honesty. *sigh* here goes:

1st of all, you should read, or at least Skim “A Sad Post” because that is what I’m talking about in this post.

So today I woke up in a fine mood. I went to brush my teeth, and as I reached inside my toiletries bag to grab the tube of toothpaste by feel, I grabbed something else. The item I grabbed is a green bottle with the label “Halobolan 35″ – It’s a dietary suplement you can get at many stores… I bought mine from Gold’s Gym back in January of last year. I just ran across it the other night, as I had just been moving a lot of my boxes, and there it was.

When I got it, I was told that it was good for toning up, cutting fat… as compared to a bunch of other items which are good for bulking up. Well, I’m on a cleanse, and a diet, and am doing pull-ups, and I’m running… Wouldn’t one more thing help me get past this 12 pound loss faster? I had put it in my toiletries bag. I took one pill yesterday morning, and hadn’t thought of it.

As mentioned earlier, I reached for my toothpaste, and grabbed the bottle. I looked on the label to see what it says (I’ll just give you the highlights):

Suggested Use: Take 1 capsule per day for 1st 5 days. If necessary, take 2 for the remainder of protocaol. Do not use for more than 5 weeks. warning (theirs isn’t boldfaced): Do not use this product if you are at risk or are being treated for high blood pressure, heart, kidney, thyroid, or psychiatric disease, anxiety, depression, seizure disorders or stroke.

Ok.. I think that’s on the side of every suplement almost. I’m looking at the labels on my cleanse items, and many of the warnings are the same. So, I get on Google and Google Halobolan 35.

What I find out is that it’s something called a “Pro Hormone” — a precursor to hormones. Wikipedia says (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prohormone)
A prohormone is a substance that is a precursor to a hormone, usually having minimal hormonal effect by itself. The term has been used in medical science since the middle of the 20th century. Examples of natural, human prohormones include proinsulin and pro-opiomelanocortin.

Another site for body builders tells a short story of how the bouncer had taken many steroids, and then switched to pro-hormones, as they were legal, and promoted to not have the same side-effects… but they did have ’em. He used this one, which caused major agression (and he gained 15lbs in just a few weeks),

“Most don’t know pro-hormones can throw your body into a tailspin.” (that IS boldfaced on that page!) – “My last pro-hormone was Superdrol in Fall 2005. After I came off that, depression and lethargy hit me hard. For two years I dealt with that. I wasn’t going to the gym. I was getting soft and chubby. I lost weight: 288 to 250. But to be fair that was from my cardio, lack of drinking and a diet overhaul after moving to New York.”

Ok… I have 2 websites to finish, so I can’t spend all day looking up this thing… (and since I wrote 2 blog posts last night, I certainly wasn’t planning on writing this one– though I do have a happy one to write for later today) but I’ll say this:

1)This fucking bottle is going in the garbage right now! Yesterday was a fucking nightmare! If this has anything to do with it, I’m not taking that chance again!
2)This was an open bottle… I didn’t have problems when I used it in 2008– I didn’t use it for a long period, and wasn’t sure if it did something.
3)In 1999-2001 I was into body building….a big part of that was eating/drinking all those suplement powders you can get at GNC, and often you go for the ones that promise the biggest gains…. Who does the research? hmmmm….
4)While working out often, my diet was a big part of my life. I’d start the day off with 10-14 eggs. I’d eat an entire rotiserie chicken for lunch, along with a baked sweet potato, and some long-grain rice with broccoli. Dinner was a large meal. Snacks during the day included entire cans of tuna (Albacore had a better texture than that catfood looking stuff). If you read my Sad Post which I wrote last night, after a full day of crazy emotions, I mentioned that the body releases all sorts of toxins and emotions. But if you read my Friend or Enema post which explained some of the reasons of a cleanse, you’d’ve read that after you cleanse, you have less gunk in your system. This means that your body absorbs nutrients way more easily than normally.

What that lengthy #4 sentence means is that being on a cleanse, I’m not eating all that stuff that I’d eat when working out… so I don’t have the carbs and proteins and even solid foods in general to absorb toxins and emotions. My system also is absorbing nutrients (pills) faster. I took the pill with my cleanse pills yesterday morning on an empty stomach.

So, yeah… I had the issue with the girl, and I did wake up upset about it…. And yes, I’ve been slightly more moody from the cleanse… but nothing to write home about… until yesterday, which “coincidentally” is the day I popped one of these damn things. So, I think that just amplified everything.

I’m sure there’s a zillion morals to write here:

The herbologists that make these cleanses know what they’re talking about… stick to their program, unless you’re qualified, or are consulted by someone qualified on how to change them.

Don’t take 1.5 year old pills.

Research anything you put into your body.

Bodybuilding is a sleezy industry, and most fitness models you see are on steroids anyways. Check out this awesome documentary (really, it’s very well done, enjoyable, and informative): http://www.biggerstrongerfastermovie.com/ – I watched it on NetFlix 2 months ago…. It really gives a neat look at steroid culture, where things were/are/are going. Here’s the trailer:

The reason I mention that movie, is because in Bigger Stronger Faster, the guy shows how easy it is to make your own line of suplements, and no one checks… the rules are not enforced, and all bottles just say *The following has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. So who knows what the hell is in that pill!

I’m sure I can come up with more… but I have some projects to finish. Thankfully, I’m stable today. This sure makes me look at my earlier years in a different light.

Hey Ori: I read both blogs and I think you may be way over analyzing everything. You know, every so often our heart breaks over the actions of a friend, family member or girl-friend. It's as simple as that.

That may be the case. I don't know everything, but even on the heartbreak stuff, I can usually keep some control of my mind… especially when running. Yesterday there was just a dark cloud suffocating my mind. I've been bummed about relationships or others' actions before…. even to the point of sitting around the house crying and being anti-social. It happens. But yesterday just felt …. evil… hopeless… despair… uncontrollable. I am certain that you are correct, and that heartbreak has a major part to do with it. If I woke up in a peachy mood, and some hot girl came over, made me laugh, had some hot sex, and then I went on my run (even with detox and that prohormone pill), then I'd probably be blogging about how amazingly awesome my day was… that I was having uncontrolable laughter, and such happy thoughts on my run…. and I probably wouldn't know that anything was out of place. But, since there is that heartbreak stuff, I am not going to test the theory. Each item (cleanse/prohormone/heartbreak) has an effect on its own…. I think the effect is stacked.

I only have my own experiences and thoughts (and Google) to base things on. I'm no Doctor, and yet, you are. So, maybe I'm just heart broken. But today I am in a peachy mood, as usual. So, while I can't promise I won't be heartbroken again, I can tell you that I'm not going to take any weird gym suplements again! These days I”m more about natural health anyways.

Sadly, I'm also going to be way more guarded about handing my heart out.

I got sick of losing sleep due to GoDaddy's glitches, and crappy billing... I moved to BlueHost, and am happy! Awesome service, unlimited account hosting, and I'd love to see you use up all the bandwidth they give you for $6.50/month!