Hilarity and deep thoughts, all at your fingertips. Eventually.

Oh, Walker, mightiest of the Texas Rangers,How do I rely on you!For your supreme skillsare unmatched by any other Ranger.Your monotone linesare inferior onlyto your slow-motion action scenes.And I do admire how you alonefight all the evil in Texasbecause Trivette is always slacking.ADA Cahill loves youand though she is injured oftenher love will never fadeunless she is kidnapped and almost killedagain.Beware of the drug dealers around youfor though they will make themselves known to youyou often never see themuntil you have been captured.But hark – who could capture the Ranger?Only the most vile of criminalswho had a bad home lifeapparently.Always rememberno matter how evil the deedthe bad guy only needs a hugto make all as it once wasin the eyes of the Ranger.We salute you, Walkerand will never turn from you.And though we may not understand itwe will never questionwhy your mother named youCordell.