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Young Luciano was dressed in this manner: a. by his wildly fashion conscious mother. b. so he could lure bullies near enough to suffer his wrath. c. because he knew the ball would be the reward for putting up with the indignity. d. to sing at the Celebration of Strangeness.

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Peasants gather to chat during their 30 second rest break. Peasant 1: ‘The military attache has a pet lizard.’ Peasant 2: ‘More like the lizard has a pet military attache.’ Peasant 3: ‘There’s a wizard in the Imperial Guard?’ Peasant 1 and Peasant 2 toss Peasant 3 into the ditch. Military attache’s lizard: ‘Here now, […]

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Steal lots of raw oats from a horse. Pass enough of them through your golden funnel into your cauldron to fill it half full. After midnight, infiltrate a bowling alley and scrape detritus from any single lane bumper. Return to cottage and drop scrapings into cauldron. Go to your well and draw enough water to […]

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Once upon a time in the Land of Pie a call went out to all the cherry wedges scattered here to yon and back again to gather at once on the Platter of Display in the Central Courtyard. ‘What can this be about?’ asked Mavis, a slender cherry wedge hurrying through the rhubarb patch. ‘We’ll […]

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Carol Dempster, DW Griffith’s mistress and leading lady in his films during the 1920s, : a. weighed 57 pounds. b. could balance on one leg as pictured for hours and hours and hours. c. thrived on a diet of cockroaches and kelp. d. could recite from memory Bram Stoker’s novel, Dracula

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Bugs Termagent razored his way efficiently into the space between the quarreling wolves. Raising his fist with its atrophied fingers into a gesture of dominance, he noted with satisfaction the wolves cringing and slinking away, lowered tails dragging along the pine needle carpet. ‘I would have sustenance!’ he shouted to his wife, Perennia, before taking […]

Horatio Leaf’s red globe minions thrilled to his rallying cry.
‘On this day at this hour the field is ours for the taking. On then, my lovelies, ATTACK!’
Glory was theirs. The bloody feast saturated the silent night. #dada#flashfictionpic.twitter.com/Xaz2ilR0KT