It's my chica who enjoys Arnold Palmers, the mixture of half-lemonade, half-iced tea that's the favorite of bland types everywhere looking to spice up their lives. It's me who likes Arnold Palmer, the legendary golfer who brought golf to the masses. And now we can enjoy Arnold Palmer as one, with the recent news that the golfer has approved Arnold Palmer Hard–not some hilarious parody put out by Brazzers, but an alcoholic version of his eponymous drink.
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It's no John Daly–an Arnold Palmer Hard is a malt beverage with just 5 percent alcohol. It's not available in California just yet, instead existing in those arbiters of alcohol known as Arizona, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Massachusetts, Michigan, Nevada, New Mexico, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon and Pennsylvania. Any of you gentle readers live there? Let us know how it tastes!

Will it be as famous as the Tiger Woods cock shot? Wait–that was Anthony Weiner …