So cancer has finally been cured. If you have cancer, all you need to do is get aids. They cancel each other out. If you don't believe me, try it. Give yourself cancer, and then give yourself aids. Would I lie to you in such a way it would kill you? Of course I would... I mean, wouldn't.

"Both the National Cancer Institute and several pharmaceutical companies declined to pay for the research. Neither applicants nor funders discuss the reasons an application is turned down. But good guesses are the general shortage of funds and the concept tried in this experiment was too novel and, thus, too risky for consideration."