2013 - Week 16 vs Dallas Cowboys

It’s in the air, can you smell it? It has a distinct smell and sits kind of heavy in the air. We’ve smelled it before; it’s a kind of distinct, sweet smell that stands out from the other foul smells around it.
It’s the fear of Dallas fans knowing that their playoff hopes depend on beating the Redskins.

In December.

With Tony Romo at quarterback.

In Washington.

Yes, at 3-11 the Washington Redskins are reduced to trying to ruin the Dallas Cowboy’s post season hopes. If Dallas wins they’ll be in control of their own destiny; 1 game behind Philly with a week 17 matchup against them, a win will give them the head-to-head tie breaker. If they lose, and Philly wins, Dallas will sit 2 games back with 1 to go, removing them from contention for the 2013 NFC East Championship title. It’ll be a shame to see Philly win the division this year but hey, at least it won’t be Dallas.

What I wanted for Christmas this year was a back-to-back NFC East title, that’s not happening. So my backup plan is a nice press conference with Jerry Jones after the game on Sunday where he talks about how their defense is bad, Tony needs to figure out how to win in December, and how Dez will be sent to clock reading 101 at the local elementary school.

Jerry Jones is easily my favorite owner, as long as he’s not running my team. He has the GM blunder ability of Al Davis in his senile days and runs his mouth nonstop. I’m not sure what’s better, him being flabbergasted that the son of a pimp and prostitute receiver he drafted has personality issues; him giving the biggest contract for a quarterback to a guy with a proven track record of choking when it matters most; his booking of ticket offices at Super Bowl locations prior to the season starting; promoting Jason Garret to Head Coach when the offense was the problem; or ranting on about his desire to get some glory hole to the press. He is a constant source of entertainment.

Back on topic, it’s time for everyone at Redskins park to join the rest of the country in true holiday fashion; forget about the money your father in-law owes you, forget that your nephew wrecked your new sports car, that your brother sucks at the job you gave him and is dragging the company down, or that no one’s ever really been all that nice to your son. Put on your collective big boy pants and realize there’s a job to do. Ours is to deal with annoying family for a few hours and pretend everything his grand, yours is to go beat the Cowboys because damn it you haven’t done anything else right this season and we’re sick of being disappointed.

Here’s what I’m looking for this weekend:
- Kirk Cousins to effectively operate the offense. No turn overs this week. Nothing flashy, just long sustained drives.
- Alfred Morris to get 100 yards and 1 rushing touchdown. No fumbles.
- Special teams to just not screw anything up. In fact, bench the punter and go for it every fourth down, it can’t possible net out worse than it currently is. Also, send the house after every punt; no returner, let the ball fall where it may.
- Defense to come up with two Romo gifts in the second half, which will turn the course of the game. One of which will come late enough to seal the game for the good guys.
- Deangelo Hall to force an on-field Dez Bryant melt down.
Redskins win 31 - 17, and after week 17 Dallas will be watching the playoffs from home for the fourth straight year.