Determining how to have the “hospice” conversation is never easy. Even planning the conversation can seem daunting, evoking a tremendous deal of emotions for caregivers ranging from concern to doubt and of course sadness.

If you are a caregiver currently looking after a loved one who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, this conversation may not feel too natural. You may be wondering about when the best time is to have this conversation, and perhaps what the best setting would be.

It is important to consider the feelings of the patient as much as possible, and to make this conversation as comfortable as possible for your loved one based on his/her individual needs, diagnosis and personality. Ensuring the patient’s level of dignity, recognition of self-worth, and comfort are all important components that should be weaved into this conversation.

With regard to the setting, try to make sure that you have privacy so that all feelings may be shared. It may also be important to have certain family members or even relevant medical providers present during this conversation about the patient’s overall healthcare goals.

The conversation may begin with making sure that the patient has a clear understanding about their illness and diagnosis. If uncertainty is discovered, then this is may be the appropriate time to review the patient’s status to make sure that everyone is on the same page and an informed decision can be made moving forward.

This first part of the conversation can often easily segue into addressing the patient’s expectations. Discussing what the patient foresees for his/her time left also opens up an opportunity for the patient to share feelings, concerns, priorities and thoughts about what would make him/her feel most comfortable. Being with family, seeking independence, not wanting to become a burden – these are all potential possibilities to discuss.

If the patient has expressed interest in seeking independence and comfort, this may be an opening to introduce hospice care. There are many myths and misrepresentations about what hospice care is – so ensuring that the patient has a clear understanding of what hospice care is ends up being an integral part of the conversation.

Of course, strong emotions are expected. Offering comfort, support and understanding will help the patient feel cared for and reassured, especially as you move forward with creating a plan for next steps.

If you would like to consult with an All Caring Hospice expert, our staff is always available to help.

A resident of Philadelphia, R. Bruce Dalglish has served as the Chairman and CEO of Alliance Hospice and All Caring Hospice since 2005. In this role, Bruce Dalglish oversees the development and strategic direction of both companies. From 2008 – 2013, Bruce Dalglish served on the Public Policy Committee of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO).

Author: Bruce Dalglish

A resident of Philadelphia, R. Bruce Dalglish has served as the Chairman and CEO of Alliance Hospice and All Caring Hospice since 2005. In this role, Bruce Dalglish oversees the development and strategic direction of both companies. From 2008 – 2013, Bruce Dalglish served on the Public Policy Committee of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO).

“They were excellent, and we appreciate everything they did. I would definitely recommend.”

Roger S.2016-01-06T14:29:54-05:002016-01-06T14:29:54-05:00

Roger S.Son

Pam M.2016-01-06T14:28:58-05:002016-01-06T14:28:58-05:00

“Thank you for making my mother’s last days comfortable.”

Pam M.2016-01-06T14:28:58-05:002016-01-06T14:28:58-05:00

Pam M.Daughter

Tammy D.2016-01-06T14:27:08-05:002016-01-06T14:27:08-05:00

“The hospice team was amazing. There were no surprises at the end because I was thoroughly educated by Rhonda and her aide. I knew what to expect and knew what to do.”

Tammy D.2016-01-06T14:27:08-05:002016-01-06T14:27:08-05:00

Tammy D.Niece

Rebecca W.2016-01-06T14:25:49-05:002016-01-06T14:25:49-05:00

“My family and I sincerely appreciate the empathy with which the hospice team dealt with our loved one and us as a family during his extended illness. Each member of the team was very attentive and responsive to whatever need we presented to them.”

Rebecca W.2016-01-06T14:25:49-05:002016-01-06T14:25:49-05:00

Rebecca W.Wife

Carol R.2016-01-06T14:25:09-05:002016-01-06T14:25:09-05:00

“I will be forever grateful for the Director’s advice to call my sons home. We had been told that he had 3-6 months but when she came to speak with us, she could tell it would be sooner. They quickly got a hospital bed and pain meds for him that night. By the next day, my sons arrived and he died the following day with his family surrounding him. Thank you!”

Carol R.2016-01-06T14:25:09-05:002016-01-06T14:25:09-05:00

Carol R.Wife

Nancy F.2016-01-06T14:23:44-05:002016-01-06T14:23:44-05:00

“Everyone was wonderful. I can’t say enough good things about the care received. They were always there for us. It was a blessing to have the team during this most difficult of times.”

Nancy F.2016-01-06T14:23:44-05:002016-01-06T14:23:44-05:00

Nancy F.Daughter

Bob O.2016-01-06T14:22:41-05:002016-01-06T14:22:41-05:00

“Hospice team members were excellent. RNs always responded whenever we needed them. I was entirely happy with the hospice team.”

Bob O.2016-01-06T14:22:41-05:002016-01-06T14:22:41-05:00

Bob O.Grandson

Alan H.2016-01-06T14:21:47-05:002016-01-06T14:21:47-05:00

“God Bless Each of you.”

Alan H.2016-01-06T14:21:47-05:002016-01-06T14:21:47-05:00

Alan H.Son

Tiffany A.2016-01-06T14:21:16-05:002016-01-06T14:21:16-05:00

“My mother received very good care. There was always someone to talk to when needed. Her nurse even called me on her OFF days to see how she was, and even came by the hospital. You have a very good service. Thanks for the great care of my mother!”

Tiffany A.2016-01-06T14:21:16-05:002016-01-06T14:21:16-05:00

Tiffany A.Daughter

Dawn B.2016-01-06T14:20:40-05:002016-01-06T14:20:40-05:00

“The care that was provided by the hospice team was very excellent and was done with love and special care. They were very friendly and always did their job very well. My husband was very well cared for by everyone.”

Dawn B.2016-01-06T14:20:40-05:002016-01-06T14:20:40-05:00

Dawn B.Wife

Tom S.2016-01-06T14:20:05-05:002016-01-06T14:20:05-05:00

“The nurses and caretakers took good care of my mother. God bless you all!”

Tom S.2016-01-06T14:20:05-05:002016-01-06T14:20:05-05:00

Tom S.Son

Kurt K.2015-07-07T07:58:04-05:002016-01-06T14:18:43-05:00

“The nurse and staff were very professional and personable. The book given out was wonderful in helping in the journey for the family.”