BICYCLING IS DANGEROUS

We interrupt your regularly scheduled bored-with-the-world take on some unimportant sports story to bring you FIVE MINUTES of people on bicycles wrecking their faces.

I just spent the last couple minutes thinking about how much better ESPNEWS would be if they used the format above. "And the National League All-Star team is— I'm sorry, we'll get to that in a minute. We've just received this video of a little boy face-planting on pavement. OH! The pain must have been excruciating. Stay tuned for slow-motion, super-slow motion, and repeated showings of this video where we say 'Ohhhhhh!' as we watch it." That's a sports news channel I would watch.