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Elena Dementieva retired from tennis on Friday in Doha. She won 16 career titles.

Dementieva at Wimbledon, 2007. For much of her career Dementieva’s service yips – double faults and powder puffs included – were criticized. She was part of the New York Times’ beautifully-shot “Power Game” feature during this year’s US Open. Grass mastery: Many called Elena’s semifinal loss at the 2009 Wimbledon one of the best matches of the decade.

Elena also played two doozies at the USO in 2004. In two bizarre back-to-back matches, she would beat Amelie Mauresmo and Jennifer Capriati 7-6 in the third set to reach her second Grand Slam final in three Slams.

A picture really is worth 1,00 words. Elena getting ready to battle the long-forgotten Anastasia Myskina in the ’04 French final.

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Diplomatic rally? Forget an Andy Murray-Gael Monfils rivalry bubbling up in the near future. How about a Nicolas Sarkozy-David Cameron one? The British prime ministerrevealed to the public today his gifts from foreign dignitaries, and Sarkozy’s topped this list: tennis rackets. Cameron has been known to be a baller himself, but we’re not so sure of Sarkozy’s skills.

Other gifts on the list included an iPad from NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg and ties from the Italian prime minister.

What kind of rackets did Sarkozy send? It’s hard to say. Cameron has been pictured with Wilson sticks in the past, but now that he’s a British political big wig, should he be switching weapons? He also played with a Prince racket a few years ago when doing a clinic visit with former British no. 1 Andrew Castle.

(photo via the guardian by dan chung)

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Not so slow: Doug Robson‘s piece on USAToday.com about Jim Courier being chosen for the Davis Cup captaincy. We’re excited for ya, Jimbo, but hoping you cut that mane a little before you take the bench! (screen grab via usa today)

Ladies’ choice: The American squad for the Fed Cup final has been named by captain Mary Joe Fernandez and include Bethanie Mattek Sands, Melanie Oudin, Liezel Huber and Coco Vandeweghe. Fernandez is hoping that home-court advantage will help her ladies conquer the mighty Italians next week.

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On Wednesday afternoon, the USTA will announce at a media luncheon who has been picked to replace Patrick McEnroe as the U.S. Davis Cup coach. McEnroe, who has coached the American squad since 2002, announced at the year’s US Open that he was stepping down from his position as head coach. Jim Courier and Todd Martin, both former players for the Davis Cup red, white and blue made it known almost immediately that they were interested in the spot. Jay Berger, whohas worked as a USTA coach as well as helping out with Davis Cup duties under McEnroe, is also rumored to be in the running.

Pay to know: The career of Lleyton Hewitt might be on the downward spiral, so he and wife Bec Cartwright are making sure to take full (monetary) advantage of the arrival of their third child, a girl. The Hewitts have joined forces with “Text A Star”, a service that allows fans to text a certain number for $2, and the curious fan will be texted back with the name of the little gal. D-Listed took issue with the Hewitts decision to share the information in such a way, crowning the couple their “Dumb Bitches of the Day“. Bundle of joy? Bundle of something…

No bundles of joy: For Ana Ivanovic and golfer Adam Scott, whose split was confirmed last week. Sounds as though the two severed romantic tie in the last few months, which may have helped Ana with her recent resurgence on the WTA Tour. Maybe Ana should monetize her new-found tennis wins with a $2 text service to find out what she ate before each match? Then we could finally get to the bottom of that bathroom problem…

Not enough Muster-d: Luck ran out for Austrian wild card (and former world no. 1) Thomas Muster in the opening round at Vienna today. He was taken down in two (hard-fought) sets against countryman and lucky loser Andreas Haider-Maurer. That didn’t stop Argentinean blog FueBuena to make sure that a Muster reel (from past and present) was up on the blog today, featuring a couple of ’90s gems against Sampras and two great points from his loss today. Keep trucking, Mr. 43!

short(er) balls: The Bryan Brothers put up this video yesterday from a commercial they were supposedly shooting with ESPN. The theme: a 1970s Doublemint gum spin off. Twins abound! | Some fans are really ticked off about the Tennis Channel ticker. Who knew?! Guess they just want their tennis, old-school. | This idea certainly isn’t ‘old school': the iBall. OnTheBaseline talks with two young minds that have an idea on how to change ball technology in the modern game. | This should be bright too: Maria Sharapova’s engagement ring. Sounds like Mr. Sharapova is well-trained when it comes to his lady’s taste for expensive ($250,000!) jewelry. | And really, we’d love to Andrea Petkovic become much more than Petkorazzi. Girl is upbeat and down to earth. Down with the JJ and up with the Petko. Guess we’ll see what happens, no?

In this case, that winner was The West Side Tennis Club stadium at Forest Hills, which survived a club members’ vote to destroy the stadium and use the site to build luxury condos. A two-thirds majority was needed for the condo deal to go through, but members instead voted in a 123-123 tie. The future of the club, which hosted the US Open until its move to Flushing Meadows in 1978, is now unknown.

Potty Problem: In case you missed it, Ana Ivanovic had a little bathroom trouble in Linz while working her way to her first career title in two years. FortyDeuce has the video (second from the top). Ivanovic was docked a game for taking too long a break in her second round match against Barbora Strycova.

You betchya: Depending on which way you see it, Roger Federer‘s name was (or is?!) swirling in a betting controversy that claimed Fed provided insider info to IMG agent Ted Forstmann during the 2007 French Open. Federer claims to have no part in the scandal, but a few days after the story broke, Forstmann admitted to betting, but said he received no insider info.

Austrian alliance: Thomas Muster continues his comeback attempt in Vienna this week, where he lucked out by not only receiving a wildcard into the main draw, but then getting a lucky loser in the opening round after Ernests Gulbis pulled out for “personal reasons”. Our fave Austrian, Jurgen Melzer, is the tourney’s top seed.

More short balls including a survey of surveys, short(er) balls and another look at The West Side Tennis Club after the cut. (more…)

The WTA launched a new logo on Sunday, saying that the new look is to “serve as a distinctive and modern reminder of the captivating athleticism and excitement that has driven the international popularity and growth of women’s pro tennis and placed it firmly at the nexus of sport and entertainment.” We’re more curious: what do you think of that font?

The WTA said that it used leading global branding company Chermayeff & Geismar, a design firm that has worked with companies like NBC, PBS, Armani Exchange, National Geographic and Barney’s New York. Up next for Chermayeff & Geismar? TSF! OK not really, but as cheesy as the video below is, we kind of loved it. The dramatic music and the flashes of all the WTA greats from the years’ past had us all nostalgic and wishing for… a J-Cap comeback?! Or at least for someone to take control of the tour and stake her claim in twenty eleven.

Maria Kirilenko made a furious run to the Moscow final this week, bowing out to Victoria Azarenka 6-3, 6-4 in the deciding match. This year alone, Kirilenko has registered wins over Maria Sharapova, Dinara Safina and Svetlana Kuznetsova in making her way from 58th in the world to her current spot at no. 26th.

We’re Kiri-ous: can Maria make the next step? Or will she always be the 20th to 50th ranked danger floater who has the weapons to take out the big guns but can’t be a consistent champ herself??

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Sweden’s Robin Soderling booked the fifth spot in the 2010 Barclays ATP World Tour Finals. After his run to the quarters at this week’s If Stockholm Open, Soderling’s guaranteed his second trip to the finals (he made the semis last year). Rafa, Roger, Nole, and Andy Murray have already qualified for the year-end tournament.

His title win in Rotterdam, defending an appearance in the finals of the French, plus reaching the quarters at Wimbledon and the US Open contributed to this achievement. And as part of his qualification, the ATP’s showcasing his self-portrait, to be displayed (and then auctioned off for charity) alongside the pieces made by the other seven players. Much like Robin, his art is nothing to write home about. (Browse: Portraits by Nadal, Federer, Djokovic, and Murray.)

Tall task: “There are only eight players and you play against the world’s best so every match you play could be like a Grand Slam final,” Soderling shared with the ATP. “I will have to be ready from the first match.”

Doubles: Meanwhile, the team of Lukas Dlouhy and Leander Paes have also qualified for the Tour Finals’ doubles event for the third time. The draw will also feature the Bryan Brothers, Daniel Nestor/Nenad Zimonjic, and Jurgen Melzer/Philipp Petzschner as contenders.

Hey, Angelenos: if you find yourself without plans tonight (put off assembling that Halloween costume!), consider dropping by Wokcano to hang with the Bryan Brothers. The duo’s teamed up with the Bogart Pediatric Cancer Research Program for a weekend of programming including a concert and a tennis tournament.

The tourney: Tomorrow (Saturday), the twins are hosting the inaugural Bryan Brothers Grand Slam Jam, fka the WME2 Tennis Classic, at the Malibu Racquet Club. Events include a round-robin doubles tournament, a family clinic, and a pro-am (with Sam Querrey). There’s also a silent auction and an exo with Lindsay Davenport.

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Radek Stepanek‘s reptilianAlea kit for the fall continues its showcase with this version in the black/orange colorway, appearing at this week’s Kremlin Cup in Moscow. There’s also a hoodie, seen in the gallery below at an autograph session.

Bracket: The Czech, fifth seed at the event, was upset by the spot-on Pablo Cuevas, who also took out top seed Kolya Davydenko in the round prior. The final four are set, with Cuevas playing Troicki and Baghdatis vs. Istomin. SRO in the stadium? We think so! (Draw: Kremlin Cup Men’s Singles)

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Posterity’s sake: Do we have readers at this week’s If Stockholm Open? If (hyuk!) so, can we talk shop for a sec? We’re trying to track down a copy of this year’s magazine; if it’s anything like the one with Delpoon the cover, it should be worth a gander. Scan and email, please?

Semis: The semis are now set, with Roger Federer facing off against Ivan Ljubicic and Florian Mayer — who upset second seed Robin Soderling — facing Jarkko Nieminen. More info at the tourney site. FYI, Roger played his landmark 900th match in the second round, beating Dent. He’s currently the only active player over 900. See more deets about the record here.

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Nike jumps on the latest John McEnroerenaissance by dedicating a line just for this tennis veteran. We saw the pieces first pop up in time for the 2010 US Open, and here he is (pictured above) wearing the polo at this week’s seniors event in Arizona.

The on-court attire has a white/red/grey/black palette, and the tees take advantage of McEnroe’s retro (headband/hair) bad boy (expletives) past — although his temperament is still as testy as ever. Our favorite is the Ace tee — the one with just his face — in grey.

The fogies: French Open champ Michael Chang is back on the Champions Series tour after an achilles tendon injury sidelined him beginning in 2006. At this week’s $150,000 Cancer Treatment Centers of America Tennis Championships at the Surprise Tennis and Racquet Complex (we can breathe while we type, but still — a mouthful!), Chang won his opening round-robin match against Jimmy Arias and McEnroe won his against Wayne Ferreira. Also in the field are Mark Philippoussis, Aaron Krickstein, Jim Courier, and Jeff Tarango.

More: Event goes through this weekend. Schedule and ticket info at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America Championships at Surprise website.

Chopped liver: As long as Janko Tipsarevic can’t ever get car service at tourneys, and Stella McCartney doesn’t even register in Stefano Gabbana‘s radar (seriously?), we’ll be fine sitting here in the back row.

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It looks like we’re not the only one obsessing over Andy Murray‘s hair (letuscountthe ways): in celebration of the Scot gaining a spot in the last men’s event of the year — the Barclays ATP World Tour Finals — the tour created a stencil that Andy used for his artball self-portrait. Thankfully, they used a photo of him well-groomed. (See: Stencils for Roger, Rafa, and the one for Nole.)

Muzz on creating the art: “I can’t say I’ve ever created a self-portrait quite like this before — it was good fun but I don’t think I’ll be giving up my day job just quite yet! I’m looking forward to seeing it in the gallery, hopefully it can raise some money for charity!”

…on home court advantage: “If I play well I’ve got a chance of beating any of the guys. I’m excited to be playing in front of my home crowd; the atmosphere was great last year. I could be playing against Federer or Nadal in my first match in the Finals so I’m going to have to be on top of my game from the very start.” (The tourney’s held at the O2.)

For your consumption: The canvases from all eight singles finalists will be displayed at the La Galleria Pall Mall in London November 8-18, 2010. After that, they’ll be sold through an online charity auction that ends on November 28, 2010.