God, you’ve seen the way the Bible has twisted the lives of Eve and Vashti and Tamar and Mary Magdalene…

And you see how the stories and images of women are twisted today.

We are tired, Mother God.

We are tired of the b-word and the frequent use of the words “whore” and “slut.” We are tired when people in power obviously work to intimidate us more than the men in our lives. We are tired when we are spoken over or told how we should feel. We are tired when we speak out and not believed. We are tired when our sheroes are attacked with greater fervor than the men who hold power. We are tired wheb being refused jobs because of gender (because, let’s face it, our reproductive organs have nothing to do with our qualifications). We are tired of the shame that comes with being born a daughter of Eve.

We are tired that Mother is not a good enough title for you, God.

We are tired of the little comments made to us or about us that make us feel less than human. We are tired of the larger ways our bodies and our accomplishments are tossed aside or belittled. Our energy is spent in ensuring that humanity sees us with the same dignity as cisgender men. Our sisters of color and our transgender siblings must spend even more of their spirits than we who are white women trying to achieve this dignity.

We are exhausted to hear how we should be grateful for the crumbs that have been scattered for us.

Crumbs are no longer enough. We are more than b*tches and whores and ditzes and witches. We will speak out when our voices are ignored, and we will no longer keep our stories silent.

We are worth every single piece of energy you used to mold us in your image. We are your children and deserve the inheritance of your kin-dom on earth as much as our male siblings.

You stand on the side of justice, and one day we will be equal in the eyes of our neighbors just like we are equal in your eyes.

I wrote this only a few days after the election. This is how I felt – not only at the time – but continue to feel as I process what happened in our country. This is how I feel every time I hear of another hate crime committed.

I am a woman of privilege. While I have some awareness of my racial, citizenship, and sexual orientation privilege, I am also still waking up to my privilege. The results of the election came as a shock, and part of this shock is due to my privilege-related naiveté.

This was written with much respect to all people who have been assaulted in any shape or form, not making light of assault, and also knowing that a piece of us felt violated on Election Day because the results affirmed the complacency with abuse. Abuse has happened in many forms, and the Bible reflects that abuse as well. Please be aware that this could be a TRIGGER WARNING for many people.

*****

“Look, I have two daughters who have not known a man: let me bring them out to you, and do to them as you please.” (Genesis 19:8)

I imagine most people feel disgust after reading this text and are shocked to know this is actually in our sacred Scripture. Angels, in the form of two strangers, visit Lot in Sodom. When the community heard about the visitors, they bang on Lot’s door and order him to send them outside so that they can know them intimately – – or, basically, rape the two men.

Lot refuses to accept their demands. Instead, he offers them another option. Here are my two virgin daughters. Know the two of them intimately instead of our visitors.

Unfortunately, Lot’s daughters would not be enjoying the intimacy that comes when two people mutually give themselves to one another. This would be a violent gang rape of two young women. Based on the fury of this crowd, there is even a possibility the rape would have led to the death of one or both of the young women as we see in the similar story of Judges 19.

What appears in Genesis 19 does not seem like a story about Lot’s hospitality or creative problem solving. By offering his daughters, Lot still affirms the violent actions of a group of men. He does not give a second thought to sacrifice his daughters in the attempts to placate the Sodom community and to protect the rights of the privileged.

Up until a week ago, whenever I read this text, I could not fully imagine what the two daughters must feel. How could someone who says they love you be fine with throwing you away with such haste? How could the one to whom you looked for protection be willing to throw you to the wolves knowing that you would be violently attacked?

And then the election of 2016 happened. Just like Lot’s problem-solving proposal, it felt like many Americans have offered up the lives of people of color, the bodies of women, the equality of LGBT people, the religious freedom of Muslims, the well-being of immigrants, and the dignity of people who are disabled. In the process of trying to solve foreign and domestic issues, our neighbors chose to overlook love of neighbor and turn their heads so that racism, sexism, xenophobia and bigotry could grow stronger.

While some believe that the election results will eventually lead to positive results in our country, within the first week we saw the number of hate crimes grow. Pictures of hateful words spray painted alongside of buildings and videos of students chanting slurs continue to become the new normal in 2016 America.

Couldn’t Lot have offered a more humane solution? Couldn’t we, as Americans and Christians be more compassionate and considerable in the way we solve our problems?

Some of our neighbors wonder why we still “can’t get over” the election results and its aftermath. Like Lot offering to throw his children to strangers in order to solve a problem, many people across our country feel like their neighbors were willing to toss them aside in an effort to build a country that could be to their satisfaction once again.

Knowing that many of us have been treated like Lot’s daughters has left us aching, worrying, and wondering what will happen next.

It feels like we must live under a new normal. We must live with the normality of women being physically assaulted. We must live with a renewed interest in a type of “law and order” which will elevate the mass incarceration of our brothers and sisters of color. We must know that families will be torn apart based on who was born in this country and who was born elsewhere. We must know that Muslims fear for their lives as the country waits to see if a registry is forced upon them. We must know that marriages of our gay, lesbian, and bisexual sisters and brothers are in jeopardy.

We may be Lot’s daughters in twenty-first century America, but we refuse to be thrown to the men of Sodom without a struggle.

Lot’s daughters found agency… and all who have been marginalized will find their power.

Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled over many provinces. His name was King Ahasuerus. While he was on his throne in the Citadel of Susa, he threw a tremendous party. The palace was decorated in marble, silver, various colors of stones and, of course, GOLD.

On the seventh day of the great banquet, in his state of mirth, he commanded his wife, Queen Vashti, to remove herself from her separate banquet and parade around his banquet full of men wearing her crown…

Probably ONLY her crown…

…Because, of course, he was king. And rich. And celebrated. Some would say a star, perhaps. And he could demand such exploitations.

Queen Vashti was fair to behold- possibly a “10.”

But Ahasuerus failed. Queen Vashti refused to become another prop in his life, to be objectified by not only her husband but the many men who may grope her as she paraded.

Ahasuerus was furious – an anger which raged inside of him. He successfully impressed his guests with all he had, like the marble and silver and gold. But his wife – his greatest “property” – he could not control.

Loopholes in laws were always to his benefit, and after consulting some wise men of his time, Ahasuerus deemed what Queen Vashti did to him as wrong.

Out of this great anger, this great male leader of the time then imposed more rules against women. All men were to be honored… or basically obeyed… by their wives.

What happened to Vashti? Well, she went away…disappeared. First wives can be sent away without a second thought…

Did he pay her off? Did he settle in some divorce? Or did he just throw her out on the street without a second thought and resources to help her survived?

Ahasuerus then decided to find a new wife… a brand new hot wife.

This wouldn’t be just any wife. She would be pure – A VIRGIN! A Jewish woman named Esther was one of these women. They would be gathered in the palace. I suppose you could say that she was considered another “10.” But the still they ordered her cosmetic treatments…

Because she couldn’t be truly beautiful to the powers that be without these procedures. Her authentic raw self wouldn’t work for someone like Ahasuerus who focused on women as his possessions to be admired…

She waited for him to call… he was the one who demanded her attention and not the other way around. She must wait for him – for his compassion, companionship and care.

Like with Vashti, Ahasuerus looked no further than her outer beauty – forgetting that she was a person of faith, a messy flawed amazing person and a woman determined to save the lives of many others.

Queen Vashti risked all she had to stand up against a demanding man in power. Queen Esther risked all she had to stand up to a system that was going to exterminate her family and friends. Vashti worked outside of the system and Esther worked inside.

That is how Esther survived… Giggle when he wants. Get touched and paraded when he wants. And she gets to thrive in his palace.

In reality, Esther and Vashti’s beauty came from their courage, their brave souls and the Spirit which worked within them. Too bad Ahasuerus missed all of this beauty as he gawked at their bodies and faces.

Funny how few faith leaders call out King Ahasuerus for what he was and what he did and how he objectified the women in his life. Funny how this patriarchal attitude becomes normal and expected in our realities today too. Funny how we allow the privileged male leaders in our society to treat women this way. Funny how these attitudes haven’t died in two or three thousand years. Funny how those who read this story honor courageous Queen Esther but forget about the bold Queen Vashti. Funny how many of our closed-minded clergy are not calling out King Ahasuerus of the Bible…

Or the King Ahasuerus of today.

*****

While I am not explicitly political on this site, I felt the need to write this as a reflection of a Biblical story that always concerned me AND as a theological statement on some of the 2016 election players.

February 1992. I was eighteen years old in my freshman year of college. My friends introduced me to a really cute guy who was about a year or two older. We all hung out talking until around midnight. He then walked me back to my dorm room and gave me a kiss.

Alright. He’s cute. He’s sweet. I hope i hear from him…

The next evening, he calls. He asks me to go out. I didn’t feel like spending time with him that evening, so I politely declined. “You will go out with me,” he demands.

Excuse me? “No,” I replied.

He just couldn’t take no for an answer.

Eventually, we ended the phone conversation. I felt extremely vulnerable at that moment. Thoughts continued to cycle throughout my mind. What if he comes after me? What would this confrontation look like, and would I be safe? Fortunately, I found way to hang out with other friends that evening, away from campus – what I perceived to be a safer space.

Frankly, on that very evening, anywhere where he could not find me was safe.

*****

May 1992. I was nineteen years old finishing my freshman year of college. I was sitting in the library at my college trying to study when a man around my age came up to talk with me.

I was trying to brush him off – at this point I had another boyfriend. But he continuously asked for my number – over and over and over again. To him, it didn’t matter that I was in a relationship with another person.

Finally, I relented. I gave him my dorm room phone number and left the conversation.

A while later, he called me. I pretended that I was my roommate and told Whatshisname that I wasn’t home. He never called back.

But could he ever find me?

*****

Summer 1992. I was still nineteen years old between my freshman and sophomore years of college. I was driving on Route 159 in Swansea, Illinois when a guy in the next car at the stoplight locked eyes with me.

It’s always awkward to lock eyes with anyone in nearby cars. But this one had another agenda.

I started driving once the stoplight turned green. He then followed me.

No matter how fast I drove, he drove. He continuously tried to get my attention. But my attention was focused on working to lose him.

Block after block, he kept up. Then, I saw an upcoming street. At this point he was in the next lane and keeping up with my driving. I quickly turned down the road without giving any indication that I was making that move. He continued to drive on Route 159.

But what if I couldn’t figure out a way to lose him?

*****

These three stories happened to me over the course of six months. Understand that I could continue to write story after story about the varying types of harassments I’ve experienced in 23 years – from catcalls to mindgames to unwanted touching.

Now, I’m not talking about the guy who kindly asks me out even though I’m not interested. I’m talking the kind of behavior when I feel every type of red alarm has gone off and my gut is giving me a bad vibe – the guy who keeps pressuring me even though I continuously say “no.” There are many authentically nice guys out there. (I know since I’m dating one of the nice guys.) However, from personal experience, I can tell that 100% of the men in our society do not treat women as equals, and this type of controlling attitude and entitlement needs to stop. They think they can follow us, pressure us and guilt us into falling for them.

Our society encourages us to be “good girls.” Never say no. Be accommodating. The problem with being the good girl is that the controlling boys like to find us. They like to drain us of any self-esteem we may still have in our souls.

The story of Vashti always resonates with me when it comes to a woman who stood up for her body, mind and soul. She refused to be paraded around like an object by her husband King Xerxes (Ahasuerus) who then, probably, banished her from his life. It was a risked she was willing to take as she didn’t want to be objectified and controlled by men.

It takes years for us to find that confidence to realize we deserve better than all of this. We do not deserve to be paraded around or required to give in to a man’s desires each time he asks.

So when I think of this mass killing spree in Santa Barabara, I think of the way that men have felt entitled to the bodies, minds and souls of women since the Hebrew Bible – from Vashti to Tamar, the daughter of David who was raped by her brother.

When I see the spirit of women on social media this week and the many men who support us, I realize that maybe there’s hope in this conversation. Maybe there will be one less man who demands a date or sex, one less man who chases a woman or one less woman who feels pressured to give out her personal information.

Let’s find ways to stand together, girls and women of all ages. Let’s find a way to help each other feel safe even when we’ve felt violated. We deserve to be given the dignity that God has given each of us – as we are made in the image of our Creator, too.