A Family of Acquaintances

How would you get along with your sibling(s), parent(s), or any other person you’ve known for a long time — if you only met them for the first time today?

I am not close to my family. We all grew up separated more or less. Two of my brothers and myself share a mother. The rest of us share a father. We are remarkably a like for people who didn’t grow up together though. For those of you that don’t know, I grew up, for the most part, in North Carolina with my Grandmother. I left New York when I was like 7. So I pretty much only saw a few of my siblings, the ones that lived with Dad, in the summer.

My sister Aprill and I get along pretty well. That said, I have to take her in small doses. I love her, but I find that sometimes I don’t like her very much. So I talk to her maybe once or twice a month. That isn’t personal, I don’t like talking on the phone and I’d prefer texting to talking anyway. However, she needs to “talk” so I do grant her a phone call here and there. Plus she isn’t the most tech savvy.

My Dad is a real piece of work. I love him, but lately I have found that I like him less and less. So we are currently not speaking. As some of you know we had a disagreement before I moved to Maryland and I opted to not speak to him for a while. Every time I start considering reaching out to him he does something stupid. Like message my husband some bullshit or send me a little bullshit text. The “I love you but you are a horrible person” type texts. (If you aren’t aware, I am a horrible person because I believe people should earn their keep in prison, I am a fan of prisoners having jobs in prison. It’s not a friggin vacation, you are being punished. So if they tell you to plant a garden and feed school children you do it!) Yeah that is what we argued over. For some reason it is still really fresh in my mind even though it’s been about 10 months since the argument. I worked at a jail, how would he think I would take the inmates side? Okay I am getting frustrated just writing this. Next!

My Stepmom… I love her. (not my dad’s current wife I can’t stand her) She is a beautiful woman inside and out. She’s bogged down under all her drama and it’s taking a toll. She is currently not speaking to me because I think she shouldn’t be a punching bag for her daughter, my baby sister.

Which brings me to my baby sister. She is bi-polar, much like my Dad. Anyone with bi-polar friends or relatives know what this is like. My Dad is on his meds, my baby sister would rather take street drugs than prescription meds. She’s violent and moody. She has a son which I have never gotten to meet. I love her, but there is such a big age difference between us that I don’t feel like she is a sibling but maybe a cousin. There are like 13 years between us and I didn’t get to spend a whole lot of time with her growing up, unlike Aprill.

I have 5 brothers. One of which I don’t know. The rest of us all get along, but we are not close. Well that isn’t true. My baby brother and I do not have a relationship. However I just found out he existed a few years ago and he doesn’t want a relationship with me, which I understand. He’s a grown man who found out in his twenties that he had a sister and brother by his birth mom. We don’t not get along, but we don’t talk either. (excuse the double negative)

My eldest Sister and my Dad are good chameleons. So if I met them for the first time today, I might like them. Not sure about the rest honestly. I’m not the most social person. So I don’t go out of my way to meet new people. I’ve often said if I met my family on the street I wouldn’t like them. I wouldn’t choose them as family let alone friends. I guess that is family though, would you choose yours? Probably not, but they were put in your life for a reason. I always wanted a family of my own when I grew up because I felt so far apart from my own. I have that family now. I’m good. As an adult I chosen my friends and see them as family. I am actually closer to them than I am most of my family. I love my friends because they don’t judge me or hold it against me when I speak my mind. The need to speak my mind is a flaw in my personality lol. My family can be harsh and judgmental which keeps me at arm’s length and keeps me from being myself around them. So if I met them today, I probably wouldn’t get along with them… at least not for long. Shocker!