I would like to be [neurally] linked with Obama. I think he’s the smartest dude in the world, and he’s always the coolest dude in the room. He has a vision of how he’s trying to steer the country and there’s a certain nobility to it. I don’t have his kind of discipline cuz when I hate, I hate big. But Obama just has this even keel that’s amazing, but he’s still very passionate. He’s egoless. I don’t think he aspired to be a powerful man, I think he aspired to make a difference.

Perlman would like to share a neural link with Obama, the “smartest,” most “egoless” guy in the world? That explains so much.

Dude. Please don’t be satire. We’re filing this one under “too good to check.”