"When people become parents, something strange and unfortunate happens." Thomas Gordon wrote this in his award winning book, Parent Effectiveness Training. "Parents begin to assume a role or act a part and forget they are persons. They start to behave in certain ways because they think that is how parents should behave." Children pick up on parents playing a part, they realize early on that this perfect person isn't really who you are. They notice you ate all the cookies after they went to bed, watch your phone well after your screen time is over. They hear you yell at them when you don't get your way, or interrupt them when they talk.

This transformation of people turning into parents is unfortunate for 2 reasons. A child's curiosity leads them to try and find out who's the human being underneath the parent, because they deeply appreciate the quality of realness and humanness and they respond favorably to it. And, parents often feel guilty when not being able to play the part, not being able to be consistent, or not being able to set the perfect example.

Parent Effectiveness Training is here to teach you it isn't necessary to play that perfect parent role at all! You don't need to be consistent, and you don't need to be perfect. An effective parent lets himself be a person – a real person. If parents could only accept themselves and stop playing a part, it would send a very different message to their children; I am good the way I am, and so are you. I don't need to portray myself any different, neither do you. If we mess up, we are not bad, we just learn from our mistakes so that we can be true to who we are and build a happier life together.