MTV Shuga: Sex Tips For Your First Time

MTV Shuga: Sex Tips For Your First Time

First time sex is fun and unforgettable. It can also be strange and awkward, so think about the kind of person you want to share the experience with. Having a caring, considerate and sensitive partner who respects your wishes – and being the same kind of partner in return – is key to creating a first time experience you won’t regret. This is something we absolutely love about Bongi and Coalstove’s relationship.

Losing your virginity or having sex with a new partner for the first time is a big step and we totally get why Bongi wants to take it slow.

Here’s a checklist that will help you figure out if you should have sex for the first time:

Thinking about it makes you excited, not filled with fear or anxiety (a little nervousness is okay, but it should be nervous excitement, not dread).

You’re ready to do it stone-cold sober (i.e., you don’t need to be drunk to get it on).

You trust your partner.

You are comfortable enough to talk to your partner about what you do or don’t want to do in bed.

You are well-prepared and informed about protecting yourself against HIV, STIs and unplanned pregnancy, and you know what methods you’ll use to ensure that you have safe, healthy sex.

If either of you is not a virgin, you’ve been recently screened for HIV and STIs.

Most importantly: You want to – it feels right!

If you are comfortable with your partner, you trust them, and you are excited at the thought of having sex with them, then go for it! Make sure you have planned what protection you’ll use to stay safe.

Very important: Take a page out of DJ Coalstove’s book and get CONSENT every time you have sex. If a person says they want to have sex with you, great! Go ahead and have sex with them. If a person says they don’t want to have sex (or any other kind of sexual activity) with you, or if they’re unconscious, or if they’re unsure, they have not given consent and you must not have sex with them.

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Quick Facts

Sterilisation: If you know for sure that you don't want any more children this can be good. Implants: Last for 3 years. Just remember to replace after 3 years! IUD: Many people like it cause once it's in, it works for 5 years. You can ask for one without hormones if you want. (But remember condoms to protect against infection!)

Some people think that it's OK for the man to pull out of the vagina before he comes. NO! There can be sperm in the fluid that comes out before he comes – leading to pregnancy or infection.

Get Help

If you think you may be pregnant, DO A PREGNANCY TEST AS SOON AS POSSIBLE – you can get these tests from the pharmacy or your clinic or doctor. If you have an unwanted pregnancy, the sooner you know, the better you can be helped to choose what to do.

There are lots of government clinics that give free family planning. Look in the phone book or call a local clinic to find the closest one. Marie Stopes are South African government-approved reproductive health clinics.

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More on Abortion

It is legal for women of any age to have an abortion in South Africa. No parental or partner permission is needed. It is your body and your decision to end or keep the pregnancy … nobody can force you. It is very important to go to a registered, legal facility. There are many people who advertise abortion services, but many are not legal and having a ‘backstreet abortion’ could be dangerous to your health and life.

Any woman can ask for an abortion in the first three months (12 weeks) of pregnancy. If you are three to five months (13-20 weeks) pregnant, an abortion can be performed under certain circumstances. It is very important to act quickly, the earlier you seek help the better.

You can visit your doctor who will refer you to an appropriate facility and a consultation fee will be charged. You can go to a private organisation such as Marie Stopes where there will be also be a charge. Some government facilities offer abortions for free, see link below for a list of local government facilities which offer the service.

Medical abortion: Tablets to end an early pregnancy can be taken up until the 9th week of pregnancy. You will be given pills to take at the clinic and to take at home. It will cause you to bleed like a period, but it might be heavier than your normal period.

Surgical abortion: The pregnancy is removed whilst you are at the facility, typically through vacuum aspiration.

If the abortion is done by a legal provider at a legal facility, problems after the procedure are rare. A trained counsellor will discuss your options and advise you on which family planning methods are suitable for you.