There's an island in Scotland that has already declared its independence.. and it's wonderful

00:01, 20 Jul 2014

ByLesley Roberts

WELCOME to the micro-nation of Islonia, where everyone has a job, all kids are at school, Bon Jovi is banned and the army is a former bouncer called Big Sean.

Share

Get weekly news by email

Peter Jolly/Northpix

Welcome to Islonia

THERE'S an island in Scotland that has already declared its independence.

Welcome to the micro-nation of Islonia.

It’s a four acre island which owes its climate to the Atlantic gulf stream.

And there's even a total ban on the music of Bon Jovi though comes from the man who has declared himself King.

Islonia has its own passports, constitution and even its own flag...a saltire with a giant crab.

Child literacy is running at 100 per cent since the royal couple’s two kids started school and defence policy is in the safe hands of an ex-bouncer called Big Sean.

Small but perfectly formed, it sits in Loch Gairloch, Wester Ross, connected to the mainland by a floating causeway a few metres long.

And the kingdom is thriving since the royal couple found themselves so fed up with the politics of distant shores that they decided to go it alone.

Two months ahead of the referendum where the rest of Scotland will vote on independence, the benevolent monarchs, self-styled monarch Ian McWhinney and his royal consort Queen Jess, welcomed us to their island state to show us how it works for them.

King Ian, 47, who also happens to be a fisherman, said: “We got a bit depressed thinking ‘none of the above’ when it came to elections. That’s why we decided we should try to do it all ourselves.

“And since we declared ourselves the independent nation of Islonia, we’ve issued more than 6000 of our own passports to honorary citizens.

“They don’t actually get you anywhere except across our causeway - which we like to call ‘the bridge over the Atlantic’.

“But in terms of numbers, that makes us bigger than the Vatican City as an independent state. They’ve only got a population of about 850.”

Under its original name of Dry Island, the little isle has been owned by King Ian’s descendents for hundreds of years while they fished the waters of Loch Gairloch and cured their catches for export.

But on becoming independent, and declaring themselves a monarchy, the King and Queen gave their new nation the name Islonia in tribute to the royal princesses: Iona, who’s seven, and five-year-old Isla.

Peter Jolly/Northpix

Ian and Jess McWhinney

Truth be told, their state is yet to receive any form of official international recognition whatsoever, aside from the tourists who book into the three self-catering properties.

And as ordinary Ian and Jess McWhinney, the couple still have to make a living from selling the fresh crabs, lobsters and langoustines they catch every day.

So the King issues passports while dressed in wellies and waterproofs then hands out midge repellent to visitors.

He’s unlikely to be invited to many ceremonial events with other heads of state - though he probably wouldn’t attend anyway.

He’s happier on his creel boat, hauling baskets full of shellfish from the bottom of the loch.

King Ian said: “I’m not a particular fan of royalty to be honest.

“It’s not so bad when you’re the absolute monarch yourself, right enough.

“I have total charge of the remote control, for instance. I have also banned Bon Jovi, much to Queen Jess’s annoyance.

“I like to think my family are rather better behaved than the UK royals. None of the offspring have fallen out of nightclubs yet, for example.

“We don’t have any royal coaches but we do have a creel boat called Sula and an old Peugeot van.

“And we don’t give ourselves many fancy titles. When we got married Jess was able to put down her occupation as ‘fishwife’.”

Trade with neighbouring Scotland is good although the Islonians prefer to deal in the currency of shellfish which exchanges for approximately one crab to the pound.

Literacy rates are running at 100 per cent since the younger princess started school last year and defence arrangements are good now that local bouncer Sean has agreed to be ‘the army’.

Anyone with a sea kayak is immediately conscripted into the navy.

Transportation links are reasonable and require the use of a boat or Shanks’s Pony - although the boat is definitely the preferred option for reaching the local pub as it’s a long walk back otherwise.

King Ian said: “We also have our own flag now - a saltire with a large golden crab - and our motto is ‘size isn’t everything’.”

The population has positively exploded since 1999, when King Ian lived there alone. By 2001 it had doubled, when Queen Jess moved in, and by 2008 it had quadrupled following the arrival of the two princesses although that doesn’t include the royal pets - a Jack Russell called Eilean and Patterdale terrier, Dubh.

And when we visited, numbers were swollen further by the temporary residences of tourists: one from Poland, two from Holland, a young couple from Germany.

Peter Jolly/Northpix

Ian issues people with Islonia passports

There are no racial tensions on Islonia and immigrants are welcome, Queen Jess being one herself. She’s originally from leafy Abingdon, in Oxfordshire, the land-locked heart of the home counties.

She said said: “I doubt you could find a place in Britain any further from the sea so it’s very different living here but I love it.

“I was a nurse working on Skye when I met Ian now I sell our shellfish at local markets or on the pier at Gairloch.”

King Ian proudly conducts a tour of his entire island kingdom which takes all of 10 minutes but offers some of the most spectacular views of the loch and surrounding hills.

And it’s not difficult to see why life here in splendid isolation is so appealing, without the interference of politicians.

He said: “I grew up here with my grandmother who lived till she was 90.

“For a long time there was no running water and no electricity connection on the island but my grandparents built a small wind generator so they were actually ahead of their time in renewable energy, something that the British governments have only cottoned onto fairly recently.

“My grandfather paid £1 to have an overhead electricity cable installed in 1955. When an undersea hydrocable was installed 20 years ago it cost £50,000.

“It’s not an easy place to make a living but it’s a great place to be.”

So when the Scottish independence referendum finally arrives on September 18, the royal family of Islonia will be watching with interest.

They admit to retaining a ‘dual nationality’ and will be able to vote - and they’ve already decided which way to go.

Queen Jess said: “After our own experience of independence, we think it’s a positive thing. We’re so far away from London, and we think things work better with more local government.