Friday, August 21, 2009

They say you don't really have a sports blog until three things happen: first, you make a prediction that proves laughable in hindsight; second, you live blog some random event; and third, you overload the site with everywidgetimaginable in a desperate attempt to drive up traffic.*

So now that I have a soapbox, I would be remiss if I didn't abuse the privilege. I'd like to call this article to your attention. Oh, sure, all you normal-heighted people laugh, but the pain we feel is as high as those cookies on top shelf in the cabinets.

That's not the only problem, though. Even our own vertically-challenged kind are perpetuating negative stereotypes:

"I could knock big guys on their fannies ... with speed and guile, guts and hustle," said Steve Cole [no relation], who eventually grew to 5 feet, 6 inches.

I hate that. I'm sick of hearing about all these big-hearted, come-up-short guys. It seems like every time David Eckstein (5'7") grounds out, or Wes Welker (5'9") make a five-yard catch in the flat, all you hear about is their grit. And their hustle. And their scrappiness. And I hate it. And I know I'm not alone.

You know, there are good athletes out there who are short as well. It's not like every athlete under six feet tall worships at the altar of Doug Flutie. There are several capable athletes out there incapable of touching the floor in a bar stool. Dustin Pedroia (5'7") followed his Rookie of the Year award in 2007 with an MVP award in 2008. Maurice Jones-Drew (5'6") is the Jaguars' top running back this year and an important fantasy option. Just ask any of the four remaining Detroit Lion fans what Barry Sanders (5'8") did in his prolific NFL career. Even in basketball, Spud Webb (5'6") and Nate Robinson (5'9") have shone, winning three Slam Dunk contests between the two of them. Robinson has even famously swatted away the 7'6" Yao Ming.

How about we celebrate these undersized athletes? I'm sure they have heart and gusto and whatever, but these guys can actually play too.

That's all I have to say on the subject, but I think I'm going to stay on this soapbox; if I jump, I can almost reach those cookies!

I'm sure I left out some important examples, so leave them in the comments. And no, we won't tell you to keep it short.