Archive for the Liz Hurley Category

Woah…King George Day is getting hot and bothered when Liz Hurley participates in it…even at 50 years old and all menopausal and shit she still has it in her to get manhandled by dudes with expensive watches…in front of everyone…to add some kind of spice to her life…because I guess her vagina hasn’t completely dried up yet, and even if it did, she could use lube to trick a motherfucker into thinking it’s still functional…I mean with a body like that, dry sex would still be fun, and in my defense Dry Sex is all I know, because I have this skill I call making even the most lubricated bitch dry…Some dudes make girls get their period…all fertile and hormonal, I make girls hit menopause early…it’s my move..

Liz Hurley’s tits in this gold dress are pretty spectacular…They remind me of Liz Hurley of the past, not Liz Hurley the bikini company owner who doesn’t get in a fucking bikini because she’s too insecure since her body is what made her all her money and allowed her to marry what I assume is a billionaire, leading to continued good life, only more clothed, when all we really care about are her tits…that she only brings out to show off to girls at breast cancer events cuz it’s the only place she feels like she’s good amongst all the younger women…you know…

Either way, dressed in gold she’s like a trophy I want to fuck…giving new definition to the term – trophy wife….or at least a new image of old lady mom tits that used to be a model all squeezed together nicely….

If you have a Russian mob fetish and a Milf Fetish you’ll be happy about these Hybrid pics…cuz they are of Liz Hurley, the lovely and talented model we all wanted to fuck in the late 90s before she turned late 40s, dressed in a pair of track pants you’d expect to see on some low level guy on the Sopranos before a hit or drug deal…ok so it’s a bit of a stretch but I’m down with how the fuckers are riding her ass and that’s enough of a post for this..

I call these pics “Bitch falling on her fucking face cuz she’s dizzy from not eating as a form of weight management”…..

There’s been some rumors that Liz Hurley’s boyfriend was caught cheating on her, but she took him back, like all good girls with no self respect who grasp the concept that sometimes they aren’t good enough, and thus dude needs to stick it in another cunt, to really appreciate what he has at home, kinda thing…while most girls are just too insecure to let us have our fun….

I guess this was her attempt to divert the attention from her having an open relationship, by throwing herself down the fucking stairs as hard as she can.

I love a bitch who sacrfices herself for a cause….especially when she has model mom with a bikini company tits. It’s a little niche but there’s still some jerk off material for it.

I don’t want to give you or your virinity a heart attack, but here are some pictures of busty Liz Hurley on set in a tight enough dress to stare at, shooting Wonder Woman, which is probably going to be your new favorite show….I don’t mean to spoil the excitement of the first episode, you know you’ve already planned watching with a vat of mayonaise and some raw chicken skin for masturbation purposes, so think of it as a preview of what’s to come…if you know what I mean…which you do…

Liz Hurley is some hot old lady tits who owns a bikini line, but who won’t get in a bikini, and show her bikini line, I assume she waxes in hopes of feeling youthful like a 7 year old in her bedroom for her billionaire husband…probably cuz she’s not a busty 20 year old model who gets movie roles she once was and that aging shit fucks her up at her core….you know insecure about her mom body….but based on these pictures looks better than most bodies…maybe it’s just cuz she’s wearing black and shit is slimming according to my highschool Home Ec class I volunteered to teach for the pussy, but maybe I’m just down with old ladies holding onto their youth, especially when they walk the streets like common whores, when I know they are all fancy and use perfumed lotions on their pussies and shit back at her castle….AMazing

Aged or not…when you fill out your dress like this…it just doesn’t matter. If anything being old is an advantage, cuz the only 18 year olds hormonal enough to pull off this kind of cleavage is usually not on that sized of a frame but instead in line at McDonalds for seconds cuz the first double Big Mac wasn’t enough for her….It takes years of getting fucked to blossom like this and when it comes to middel-aged pussy, there’s a sweetspot where they aren’t too old, or overly sloppy and disgustingly aged living in an Old Folk’s Home, where you’d only fuck them if you were working the old folks home late at night and their hearing aid was off for bed so she couldn’t hear you moving in on her, or remember the next day cuz of senility, and even if she did, she’d appreciate your cock, cuz it has been 20 years since their husband died and they just couldn’t bring themselves to move onto someone new….I mean….Liz Hurley hasn’t completely lost her sex appeal, even to guys who like bitches under 25…

I’m not even a tit guy…I’m just a guy and if a 70 year old retarded girl with AIDS in a ski helmet was banging her head against the wall long enough for me to mount her, stacked like this or not, I’d mount her but then again, history has proven that I would pretty much fuck anything that has a vagina and that isn’t “that” dead…

Liz Hurley owns a bathing suit company, but for some reason, she’s never in a fucking bathing suit. I guess she’s insecure about her body. But not insecure enough to pay attention to her dresses behavior in the wind and I guess this is the closest we’ve come to seeing her half naked in a long time, and I’m not even sure what it is I am looking at. It could be panties, it could be a bikini, all I know is that it’s not pussy and despite knowing some weird things have been in and out of that shit, like Hugh Grant, kids and whatever else along the way, maybe the panties or bathing suit are a good thing….I guess for a bitch known for her tits…this is a let down, but as far as I’m concerned looking a bitch’s dress is never disappointing, unless of course she turns out having a dick…which is a whole other story we don’t really need to waste our time with…

I am down with Liz Hurley. Sure she’s a little uptight when it comes to her boyfriends getting busted fucking trannies, cuz she’s just traditional and prefers her boyfriends to cheat on her with old school genders and not this new school hippie weirdo shit….you know not so progressive, but with tits like this, even in her old age and her gold digging via Indian (dot not feather) cock, I think she still deserves some attention….even if her getting slammed by dick with tits is not in her future…unless of course those dick with tits are billionaires…cuz that’s just how bitch does it.

Liz Hurley opened up another one of her bikini stores and she wasn’t wearing a bikini. I guess she figures that most of her career relied on wearing bikinis and now that she’s older and less in shape, she’ll just let the bikinis make the money for her without her body and I guess it’s working out….but I’d still like to see her pay tribute to what pays her fucking bills by getting half naked…but I’d rather this scene of her and her two bikini models ended in a bitter and angry ex-model rubbing her sloppy ex-model tits all over the new model’s face before forcing her to eat cake and gain 30 pounds in some 2 month long lesbian kidnap/rape scene…but that’s just because I never hear enough stories about dykes raping motherfuckers with large phallic objects…but that could be a good thing considering dykes who would rape motherfuckers with large phallic objects are probably not the kind of dyke I want to see doing anything sexual.

I always laugh when I see Indian women walking down the street in their pajamas. Maybe I am ignorant towards other culture, or maybe these bitches just look funny in their silk oversized outfits….don’t get me wrong, I fingered myself to Slum Dog Millionaire as much as the next guy, because despite the smell of curry, Indian woman can tend to be very beautiful if they are not overly hairy, as many of them are, but I think everyone’s opinion on sitting next to one of them on the bus would change pretty fast if they dressed the way Liz Hurley has decided they should, and that’s tits first, nipples out, amazingness, but unfortunately if they did do that, their husbands would probably murder them, since they have other wifes to fall back on and don’t need that disgraceful behavior…not that I know what I am talking about…I just know all this is to say more girls with great tits need to take on different cultures and slut the shit up. I think it will do amazing things for bridging the gap of their weirdness by turning shit into a more tolerant experience…..

Liz Hurley has a bikini line, but Liz Hurley isn’t the Liz Hurley she once was, so she knows better than to get in one, since people like me will pull some before and after animated gifs and blame the bikinis for making her look like shit, making her go broke, when really we should blame her aging, laziness, bad diet, marriage, babies, or whatever else makes a bitch’s body go south, when it should be going north, you know to wrap the fuck up in snowsuits while dog sledding as Inuits kill baby seals, so that we don’t have to see their sloppy asses. If you know what I mean.

This is the lamest fucking panty flash, even lamer than watching some girl dance on a table last night and trying to get down under her to see her bare ass shaking, only to get caught by the group of very large chachi guys she was with who didn’t find it funny and that’s why I am posting it.

Here are Liz Hurley’s tits. I am sick of writing about tits. I am also sick of other people writing about tits. There is more to life than celebrity tits and obsessing over them in virginal writing.

I have always preferred grabbin and suckin’ tits than talkin about tits or obsessing over tits because talking about tits and obsessing over tits reminds me of the group of loser dudes on their couch together watching movies while everyone else is at the high school orgy eating high school pussy.

I don’t know what the laws are about posting pictures of celebrity kids, but I can only assume that I am not allowed to and if these pics hadn’t made me laugh then I wouldn’t have bothered because a kid can’t be responsible for his mother being a hollywood slut we all used to want to fuck and would still fuck if we were given the chance but the fact that we aren’t billionaires from India make it pretty much impossible to make happen because she likes to fuck wallets more than fucking guys who are good a videogames. Sucks for you.

I am posting these pictures because the kid is making funny fucking faces like it has to pee or something, I don’t really understand little kid language because I am one of those old bitter fucks who find kids scary. Either way, his mom is just ignoring the motherfucker, because it is the nanny’s job and her phone call is more important than the pain in the ass that came from her womb.