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Most of us have dreamed about winning the lottery…tonight I have created a list of things I will buy for myself when that day comes. (in no specific order)

Buffalo. About 50. To be purposed for my buffalo ranch (open to the public!). People love buffalo: they’re super-prehistoric looking, furry, cute, and delicious.

An Addams Family pinball machine. If I have to explain it, you wouldn’t understand.

A Super Chexx bubble hockey game. (ibid)

A laundress. Is there a male or gender-neutral equivalent of this word? Launderer, I guess. Whatever. I just want someone to take care of anything and everything related to laundering. Forget a cook, I like doing that.