I guess I don't get it

THis will be my third child. I have a 2 and 4 year old. I have seen ALOT of posts about having people to help the first few weeks. I dont understand this ... SURE, it is nice to have someone bring a meal over for dinner. But I dont necessarily understand the need to have someoen come over and clean your house, take care of baby, etc.

Yes, having a baby is exhausting - you're tired from lack of sleep. But, the brand new baby sleeps all day! ALL DAY! I didnt know what to do with myself when my first baby was born, I was so bored! My house was clean, I cooked meals, I nursed, snuggled the hell out of my baby, etc...

Im not trying to be rude ... I just dont understand this, except for in the case of a recovering c-section momma who has trouble lifting, bending, etc. Im not being judgemental, Im trying to understand. If you practice having an organized routine from say, NOW, until the baby is born, your house will stay clean, your laundry stays done, etc. I spend 30 min - 1 hour a day using Fly lady ... my house isnt sparkling, but its clean. I homeschool and accomplish good quality time with my kids.

I say to each their own. It's kinda like a breast feeding mom who's never had problems nursing her child/ren saying to a mom who had to bottle feed, 'I just don't understand why you wouldn't want to give your child the best thing possible for them...I mean Im not judging or anything." You can't say something judgmental and then follow it up by saying that you aren't judging. Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's not valid for another person. This is my fourth baby and my mom is coming out. When I had my twins (2nd & 3rd children), she was an absolute godsend. With my first, it was more like she was out for a visit. I'm expecting this time around will be more like the first but I'm still excited to have her come and bond with my kids and new baby.

Having help is wonderful. I know I can pick up the phone and call if I need it. I was really morning sick. I weighed about 143 at the begining of my pregnancy and I am down to 135. I haven't been eating well. I have trouble sleeping at night. My son's 4 molars are coming in at once. My husband just got a new job and has been away on business almost every week for training. My parents were away for 3 weeks of course and I missed them so much. Sometimes just someone popping in and checking in on me or running out to the store and getting diapers is really nice.

Everyone is different it doesn't make you lazy or less of a parent. My husband doesn't help around the house that much works 70+ hrs lately. He's a piggy. I cook, clean, take care of Victor, but my husband brings in a lot of money so he told me every month or two weeks have the cleanign lady come. It costs 45-60 but it's so worth it.

Having a cleaning lady allows me to spend more time with my son. I wouldn't have it any other way as long as we can afford it and still pay our bills.

So maybe you could make it just fine on your own. But let's think about the moms that want to help. Here they are, watching their little girls have little girls of their own. Their daughters are now self-sufficient and grown up. When was the last time we as daughters said "mommy! I need you!" I think that besides getting to spend time with their new grandchild, your mother will get so much joy out of the fact that her daughter needs her. It will give her purpose as a mom again.

With that said, my mom isn't coming to stay since she only lives about 15 minutes away, but I am sure she will be calling and asking how she can help. And I want her to be able to fill her heart with the knowledge that she is needed, so I have no problem letting her know things that could be done. Maybe they are things I could manage on my own. But there's no reason why she can't help :)

Well if you have a c-section, or lose a lot of blood, or a big tear vaginally. My first child I was a wreck after my first was born. i could do nothing. After my 2nd the two of them had me in tears daily. I was so tired, couldn't imagine cleaning or cooking.

Wow...I never had the luxury of a newborn that slept all day. I certainly appreciated help the first couple of weeks mostly because my mind wasn't functioning at 100%. I had a c-section = no driving for 2 weeks. DH had to work and someone still had to get DD to/from preschool, I had to get to appointments, somebody had to get groceries, etc.

Never feed guilty asking for help. At the same time, if no help is available, rest assured you'll figure our a way to manage.