Archive for December, 2007

I was washing dishes at work today and I could just barely make out a melody from a distant radio over the cacophony of the kitchen. I was fairly sure it was Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, sure enough that I began, I thought, singing along. Imagine my confusion when, as I neared the aforementioned radio, I heard the final choruses of Whitney Houston’s I Wanna Dance with Somebody.

I submit to you that they are practically the same song, particularly the hooks. Please check it out for yourself, and, in the words of George Micheal, listen without prejudice.

How can a song sound so much like a John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band song from the motion picture Eddie and the Cruisers and still be so good? You’ll have to agree that is a pretty shitty pedigree. Oh, well. If you have to ask, then you’ll never know.
I denied this band for a long time. I don’t know why. I distrust the horns and violins because I am a stupid rock purist, or something like that. Tell me this performance is not real and moving.

As another year passes into the dusty scrolls of history, a golden opportunity to reevaluate your priorities presents itself.

Ask not what rock and roll can do for you, ask what you can do for rock and roll. Take the pledge.

THE ROCK AND ROLL PLEDGE

ORAL PLEDGE*

I, x________, hereby acknowledge Rock and Roll as the
highest art form mankind has ever

created. I, x________, pledge allegiance to all the
precepts of being a Rocker, and will filially

fulfill all Rock and Roll obligations regardless of
societal expectation or local law. I,

x________, take this vow for life and if it is
determined that I have betrayed this oath, I accept

any castigation the Legion of Rockers deems
appropriate.

*Oral pledge is only valid in conjunction with written
pledge(see below) unless administered by Edwin Van
Hooydonck at a Dutch Treat Rock and Roll Gig and only
if the potetential rocker clearly feels the rock deep
down in his soul.

WRITTEN PLEDGE( LEGAL VERSION)

This Pledge, made as of this _______ day of _______,
______, by ___________(hereinafter referred to as
"Pledgor").

Witnesseth:
Pledgor hereby acknowledges Rock and Roll as the
highest art form mankind has ever created.
Accordingly, Pledgor pledges allegiance to all
precepts universal to "Rockers", and will filially
fulfill all Rock and Roll obligations regardless of
societal expectation or local law. Pledgor shall take
this vow for life and if it is determined that Pledgor
has betrayed or defaulted upon the obligations of this
oath, Pledgor accepts any and all castigation the
"Legion of Rockers" deems appropriate.
For purposes of this document, a "Rocker" is defined
as any person, male or female, who has scribed or
affixed his marking to this Pledge with the intention
to be bound by the four corners of same.

Analogously, for purposes of this document, the
"Legion of Rockers" shall be composed of each and
every such person qualifying as a "Rocker" under this
definition. The "Legion of Rockers" need not exhibit
any mandatory structure or hierarchy. The sole purpose
of this "Legion" shall be to uphold the oath stated
herein. Inherent in this duty is the obligation of the
"Legion of Rockers" to alter, revoke, or nullify the
Pledge of a fellow "Rocker" in the lamentable event
that said individual betrays or knowingly violates any
respect of this oath, or knowingly allows such a
betrayal or violation. Any "Rocker" may act solely or
with other "Rockers" for purposes of such action; the
only limitation shall be the obligation to act when
the oath has been abused, patronized, or forsaken.
This pledge shall be construed, interpreted and
applied according to the law of "Rock and Roll", which
recognizes no physical or jurisdictional boundaries,
express or implied, including, but certainly not
limited to, states, countries, counties, provinces,
territories, districts, and subdivisions. This pledge
shall not be binding nor inure to the benefit of the
heirs, personal representatives, successors and
assigns of the Pledgor; these parties must pledge in
their respective individual capacities. If they bitch
or complain about this criteria then they shall be
excluded from the "Legion of Rockers" for one year
from date of said bitching.
This pledge shall become effective when signed by
Pledgor, and such shall remain in effect for the life
of Pledgor unless altered, revoked, or nullified by
the Legion of Rockers as provided herein. This pledge
shall not be revocable by Pledgor.

Given under my hand, through which the lifeblood of
Rock and Roll now and forever shall floe, this ____
day of ______, _____.
___________________
PLEDGOR
ROCK AND ROLL

The Rock and Roll Pledge comes to us by way of John Borracci, AKA Robert Fulbright Pannell, II, President of The Legion of Rockers, and Special Liaison to the Gods of Rock.

I thought I’d share my friend Tim Miller’s newest mix. He is, perhaps, the truest music fan I know. The record should reflect, however, that Mr. Miller is currently a Canadian resident and the mix contains no Canadian Power Trios. A glaring omission, indeed. Shame on you, Mr. Miller.

Excellent, as always, but I Think I’m Going Bald from Rush’s Caress of Steel LP would have nestled quite nicely between The Velvet Underground and The Groundhogs. Please enjoy Mr. Miller’s inspired trip through a parallel past.

This spare version of Angeles knocked me on my ass, made me feel happy/sad to be alive. Beautiful video as well.
This rocked me to the core. I want to have been there so badly. When will Slade get their due?
Fuck me. What an emotional rollercoaster…

Like most, I dismissed The La’s as boxers who landed one lucky punch, but this live performance, discovered during an embarrassingly long post-work YouTube-watching session in my underwear, is proof otherwise. Amazing vocals and melodies, with nothing to hide behind. Echoes of great Mersey beat ’60’s pop. The Hollies, The Zombies, etc.

Someone brought up Manic Street Preachers to me the other day, and it made me think of how much I listened to their debut EP when it came out. I guess it was 1991. I haven’t really kept up with them over the years other than to read about the mysterious and sad disappearance of their lyricist and guitarist Richey Edwards in 1995. There is something of a cult built around his myth. After ten years, he’s still listed only as “missing.”

Looking back, it’s a little overproduced, with slick drums and guitars, but undeniably glam and kickass.

I’m starting to freak out even myself with how square I’ve become. Lately, I’ve been listening to lots of Glen Campbell. No shit. I even made a playlist for my ipod that is 100% Campbell. Granted, it only has six songs. I was even choked up by Where’s the Playground, Susie? alone in my car. I am on the slippery slope to throwing a set of golf clubs in the trunk of my Lincoln Continental and driving to Branson, MO.

I’ve also been listening to George Harrison’s All Things Must Pass pretty much daily. It has steadily grown in stature in my musical world over the past five or so years, and has, believe it or not, replaced Revolver as my favorite Beatles-related record. I know what you’re thinking, better than McCartney’s masterpiece Give My Regards to Broad Street? Consider me out on a limb.

I recently heard a cover of The Band’s It Makes No Difference by My Morning Jacket, and, thus, a major Band kick ensued. I’ve always been a fan, though a somewhat casual one. That song in particular, with Rick Danko’s plaintive honest vocal, is beautiful. However, I stick by my instinctive first impression of Robbie Robertson from my childhood: He is a shit, though, admittedly, a talented one.

I will not lie to you. I watched not all, but at least 85%, of the SciFi Channel miniseries The Tin Man. I have the all-too-familiar post-masturbation feeling of empty satisfaction. I feel like I ate too much and desperately need to shit.

I’ve no problem whatsoever with tampering with the sacred cow that is The Wizard of Oz. I truly believe everything is fair game. And it is actually a pretty imaginative retelling, though somewhat misguided. If you want to see it, you won’t have any problem, considering that it is on more than the Law and Order franchise.

Actually, I kind of need some people to watch it so someone can tell me what the fuck is going on with Richard Dreyfuss.