Perpetual Green Weenie Awarded

The monotonous but always tedious Bill McKibben, chief pooh bah of the climatistas who thinks he knows the exact amount of carbon dioxide that should be in the atmosphere (350 parts per million, in case you’re wondering) has won a Green Weenie Lifetime Achievement Award with his latest stunt: Protesting a gasoline pump at an Exxon station in Vermont:

If McKibben’s goal was to block cars from filling up their tanks, his unobtrusive presence wasn’t quite doing the trick. Fortunately for him, he had assistance from a smattering of reporters, activists and 350.org staffers who eagerly snapped photos with their smartphones. McKibben himself wasn’t above taking a selfie.

That last sentence is a perfect touch, since so much of leftist theater is really about its selfie philosophy of validating their moral superiority and legitimizing their authoritarian will. (By the way—how were those selfie-snapping smartphones manufactured and powered? Oh never mind.)

“Excuse me,” a gas station attendant who identified herself as Lisa said to McKibben. “Can you move a little bit? If people [want to] get gas, it’s difficult to get gas.”

“Yeah, that’s why we’re here,” he replied. “Just for a moment.”

McKibben’s lawyer, Robert Appel, introduced the two: “This is Lisa. She works at the shop.”

McKibben said he wasn’t trying to boycott this particular station, explaining that Appel had handed Lisa $100 earlier to compensate for any lost business.

“It’s not their fault … The only reason we’re here is because they have this connection with this big company that’s at fault,” he said. “The next time I’m in Burlington, this is where I’ll stop and get gas.”

Wait! McKibben buys gasoline! Surely he must drive a Tesla? Gasoline is for the little people, who, you know, have real jobs and need real transportation. What a disillusioning admission.

Anyway, of course McKibben got himself arrested, which was one object of the stunt.

“It’s nice to do anything like this on a beautiful day,” he remarked, before clarifying that he was not, in fact, a fair-weather arrestee. “We’ve done it in the rain.”

Rain is one thing, but I dare him to repeat his protest in January. And suggest the cops let him sit by the pump all day long in the Vermont winter rather than arresting him. Then let’s see how many reporters show up to watch.

McKibben simply can’t continue count on collecting our coveted Green Weenies like Meryl Streep collects Oscars. So we declare this last one a Green Weenie Lifetime Achievement Award, and declare him ineligible for future contests.