Jeffrey Gundlach’s Milkshake, Sex And Drug Paraphernalia Bring All The Investors To The Yard

Congratulations are in order for Jeff Gundlach and the DoubleLine Team! In addition to being ranked number one globally in asses (on tape), the new firm has gathered the most assets among 2010 fund launches. Naturally this calls for a celebration and a screening of Ass Traffic Volume 2 at the office would probably be most fitting, if anyone has a copy lying around.

Jeff Gundlach’s new fund is the most successful mutual fund launch of the year, but it is not the only success. Numbers just out from Morningstar show that Pimco, AQR and Fairholme are also pulling in assets with new mutual funds. The data was released by Morningstar in its May U.S. Mutual Fund and ETF Asset Flows report. Of the 80 non-target date funds launched so far in 2010, DoubleLine Total Return has pulled in $610 million since its early April launch. That puts DoubleLine’s fund more than $100 million ahead of the No. 2 new fund — Pimco EqS Pathfinder, an equity fund which pulled in roughly $500 million over a similar time span. The Pimco fund is PM’d by a pair of former investment professionals who jumped from Franklin Resources’ Mutual Series family.

The news must be especially sweet to Gundlach, who founded DoubleLine after leaving TCW last December. At TCW, he was the PM for TCW Total Return, a rival fund to Pimco’s flagship Total Return fund PM’d by Bill Gross.

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He also holds the record for more senior executive departures over the shortest period since starting Doubleline! Chief Financial Officer: QUIT. Chief Compliance Officer: QUIT. Chief Administrative Officer: QUIT. Wishes they could quit?: OAKTREE.

$650 million in assets will not support 50 employees…especially when they have never been paid yet.

@13 & 14: Revenues must exceed expenses eventually. Many employees equals many expenses. Where is all the AUM flow previously boasted about at launch back in December (:ie “$50 billion AUM by YE 2010 and $100 billion AUM by YE 2011″). Gundlach to DL employees: “Ignore the man behind the curtain”

DL ain’t the grandiose start-up success Mr. Gundlach initially claimed it would be. Some competent and able bodied staffers have stopped drinking the kool aid and now are bailing for greener pastures (or are commencing search activity to do so).

CNBC this week features Gundlock. My favorite quote when asked about the lawsuit: “none of it’s true”, hedged later with, “I’ll settle”. At least it’s the same tune he is singing — he reported to Morningstar, the cleaning lady must have planted the drugs in his office. Then why did he send a letter to clients that he had pot in a box sitting around as “vestiges of his past”?? I for one will never smoke his peace pipe like many at Doubleline.

The more frequently you monitor your portfolio, the more likely you are to observe a loss. This is likely to cause short-sighted decisions and could hurt your investment performance. If you are checking your portfolio more than once per quarter, you’re doing it too much.