Dear Coleen

My ex-boyfriend and I were together for seven years. We bought a house four months ago and have two dogs.

On December 10, he told me he wanted to take a break, so he went to stay with his parents and I went back home, too.

He was very cold to me and two weeks later he texted me, the day before Christmas, and broke up with me.

Five days later we met up to talk about the house and everything else. It went well – no fighting, just laughing, and he kept telling me how good I looked. Although it was hard, I decided to try to work on being friends with him.

Since then he has texted me every day, saying I hope you have a good day. And four days after our first meeting, he texted me asking if I wanted to go dinner and I agreed. Again, we had a good time together, laughing and joking. He didn’t bring up anything about what we are going to do with the house and he then asked if I wanted to go to the movies the following week.

I’m so confused about what he is thinking. I don’t know if he just wants to be friends or if he is trying to work out if he still has feelings for me. Please help.

Coleen says

Wow, he’s really messing you around. This is pretty easy to answer – you have to ask him outright if he wants to be friends or something more.

You’ve been together seven years and bought a house together and now, after dumping you at Christmas, he’s behaving like he’s just met you and you’re dating again. You need to get back in control of the situation, rather than letting him dictate everything.

You need to know what his intentions are.

You could carry on this little charade for the next year, meanwhile you have a house sitting there that you’re paying for and that no one’s living in.

You got past the coy dating stage seven years ago – you just have to be brave and confront him.

And if it turns out he’s still not sure what he wants, then you need to put the house up for sale immediately, so you can begin to move on with your life.

It’s possible that he panicked when you bought the house because it all seemed very grown up and serious and he’s run back to his mum and dad.

But if he felt that way, he ought to have admitted it to you and given you the chance to work through things together.

Dear Coleen

I’m 13 and all my friends fancy celebrities and boys. I’m not like this and they are always teasing me for not fancying anyone and they don’t involve me in their conversations.

Is it wrong for me to not love all the teen heartthrobs?

I feel that all my love should be directed to my family.

Coleen says

I think you’re fabulous and, of course, it’s not wrong! I’m not saying it’s wrong that your mates have teen crushes on pop stars, either, but I think it’s really wonderful that you put all your love into your family.

You are only 13 – trust me, your friends are going to go through lots of heartache and turmoil long before you will.

Hats off to you for not following the crowd and being yourself.

My daughter Ciara is your age and while lots of her friends like boybands like One Direction and Justin Bieber and are already interested in boys, she loves Little Mix for their music and what they stand for.

And she has interests other than boys, such as riding, and rightly so at her age.

Don’t let your friends get to you – there’s plenty of time for crushes.

Dear Coleen

My boyfriend likes to dress up in my undies when we have sex. I don’t mind because I find it a real turn-on seeing him dressed up.

The thing is, he often wears my panties under his clothes and he tucks his testicles up inside “for a smooth line”. Is this sensible? I’m worried it might be dangerous.

Coleen says

Drag queens tuck it all in for hours every night! I’m not a doctor, so you need to get an expert medical opinion to find out if it can cause any long-term damage, but it doesn’t sound as though it’s uncomfortable for him.

It might also be useful to visit some cross-dressing forums online to get some tips from guys who’ve been doing it for a long time and know how to achieve that “smooth line” comfortably.

Apart from that, I think it’s wonderful that you’ve embraced his cross-dressing so wholeheartedly and that it works for both of you.

I was expecting a letter to say that you were turned off by it!

Dear Coleen

I thought my marriage was happy, but recently my husband of 29 years told me he wants a divorce.

He said he doesn’t love me any more and he thinks he will be happier on his own.

He has said we can still live together. We have a disabled child and he is very fond of his dad, although I’m his main carer. I don’t know what to do – divorce him and stay here? There’s no place for my son and I to go and I still love my husband with all my heart.

Coleen says

This is a sad situation and it must have been a real shock if it came out of the blue. Unfortunately, though, you can’t force someone to love you.

The main point of focus has to be your son and doing everything you can to stick to his routine and make sure he’s not upset. However, I don’t thing it’s realistic for you and your husband to stay living together. I think that could work if you’d both fallen out of love and just wanted to remain friends, but that’s not how you feel and you’d have to see your husband every day. It would be heartbreaking.

He’s the one who should make the move – maybe he could rent somewhere, which will give him the space he’s obviously craving, while you decide what to do with the house. And, who knows, if you put some distance between you, he might realise that he doesn’t want a divorce after all. Good luck.