Tag: Buddhist Philosophy

Always remember who you are and where you are, are different things. You are not stuck, it’s simply time for a detour.

During our time as little people on this earth, very often, we see a glimpse of who we want to be in other people. I can think back and see snippets, quick flashes of images I memorized in my head of woman I admired and who I aspired to be. Sometimes these woman were just illusions of what I thought it was to be an important adult and sometimes these woman were symbols of freedom and self expression. Sometimes these woman were symbols of strength, discipline and success.

If you think back to when you were a little child, I’m sure you can imagine what I am referring to. I recall many times thinking while traveling on the subway in my teens on route to my internship at Time Warner how beautiful and successful some of the woman looked. It was the peak of the 80’s power suit. I was in awe of how focused they were and how strong they looked in their carefully coordinated outfits and how beautifully their makeup was applied. I would always think to myself, will I ever get there. Is that even palpable? Then one day 10 years later, while working at a Hedge Fund in NY, it hit me, that I was that woman but I now had other aspirations… and thus, that is how life is.

Many times we reach points in our life that we have aspired to and don’t give ourselves the proper credit or pat on the back. We don’t consciously acknowledge that we worked towards something and we earned it and so this is a moment to be proud of. Despite the fact that we will have many aspirations in life, and some may seem nonessential to us as we become wiser in life, it is still important to acknowledge these accomplishments.

Recognizing that we have grown and that we have completed something we set out to do strengthens our self worth. Continuously setting new aspirations, will continue to polish us, to hone our wisdom and hopefully make us better humans. And the world could always use better humans. xo

Not much frustrates me these days, but I have noticed in the past few months that a few scenarios have brought me a bit of unease. It has taken me until now to truly examine what it is about this situation that was bugging me.

Very often, many of us are raised to be quite proud, but what is the real drive behind you being so proud. Do you refuse acts of kindness? Do you refuse simple help from others? Do you shun or immediately dismiss advice or comments from others without even listening?

One day, I offered a very nice and kind friend a relief from her everyday life. I offered to spend a very tiny amount of money so that she could participate in something with me that I thought would help or at the very least provide some laughter. She immediately refused but after my insisting, she gave in, only to cancel on me at the very last minute. I was slightly frustrated but more so disappointed.

You see, when we offer to do nice things, it’s actually an escape from our own selfishness. My doing a nice things allows me to work on my karma by doing something selfless and kind for someone else. When I see an opportunity to do something nice for someone in need, it fills me with a very priceless joy. This is a joy that no one can take from me because it’s a feeling and not an object. Once we re-condition our minds to understand that how we interact with others is the real gift and blessing to them, we improve our relationships all around us.

The other question here is, why won’t you allow someone to do something nice for you. Does this make you feel like you have failed in being self sufficient? Why is it so important for you to do it all? Do you then feel indebted to someone if they do something nice for you? Are you focused too much on the ego? All of these are stories and labels that you have conditioned yourself to believe.

A little self reflection told me that at one point in my life, I was also too proud and refused kindness, advice and help. For many of the reasons I mentioned above. How foolish!! I didn’t know it all then and I certainly don’t know it all now. We can always learn from other wise souls and it behooves us to be sponges to those who have learned their lessons a bit quicker than we have. I also feel that many times we are so wrapped up in proving who we think we are or want to be, that we mistake kindness for competition or giving in to the act of kindness as a sign of defeat.

From now on, let’s accept an act of kindness as exactly that, “an act of kindness”. Let’s not look too much into it and instead, allow it to inspire us to also do kind things for others. Re-condition yourself to acknowledge that giving someone a good memory or feeling is far more valuable than a physical object. And once you really connect with this idea, you will begin to feel the goodness flow through you when you do something nice for someone. You will really understand the value of it.

So, next time someone offers to do something kind for you, do something kind for them, and please accept it, it could really help their karma. xo

Photoshoot with the sweet children of Bethany Preston. Shot at Gould’s Inlet, SSI, GA

There are so many, but let’s start with these. Quotes or reads from my 2015 studies that have influenced me and shown me a light along my path. 🙂 Happy New Year 2016!!

The blog title is my number 1 quote because although very simple, it’s also very deep.

If you don’t put meaning into your life, the result is, your life will have no meaning. The only way your life will have satisfying moments is if you seek to do things and spend time with those that feed your soul.

You are the owner of your own karma. There is no surprise here, but also remember that the biggest importance with karma is intention. What was your true intention behind an act. Catching the flu isn’t the result of your karma coming back to get you. It’s simply the result of coming into contact with the flu virus.

People often meditate hoping that some light will go off and give them the answers they are seeking. You meditate not to get things but to let things go. Meditation is a way to let go of the baggage that we often carry around. It’s a way for us to have 10 minutes of non activity. It gives our brain a rest so that we can refresh and begin again with a free and less heavier mind.

Often, our first response is to put someone down for doing something we don’t approve or feel is not helpful to the person. To really help someone or make progress in a situation, you must understand someone or something, from the mind of the person and empathize with them.

Most of our lives, we feel shame and hide from our imperfections, feeling terrified that someone will call us on it and this discovery will be the worst possible thing. The truth is, there is a big freedom that comes from understanding our flaws. Once you understand, you can either embrace or improve them and that fear begins to disappear.

Ignoring something doesn’t help make the world a better place and according to a Buddhist teaching I listened to, I now understand the difference between non violence and non action.

For a long time, I thought the best position to take was that of no comment. Not because I didn’t have an opinion, but because I hated confrontation. Then one day, while I was talking to my boyfriend who quite often brings up controversial topics, I took my usual neutral position to which he grew flustered and basically said, that I couldn’t continue to ignore everything. At that moment, it occurred to me that having no position isn’t necessarily the best way to be because people just assume that you live in a bubble and aren’t aware or don’t concern yourself with what is going on. When that was in fact, so far from the truth because I care, actually, I care a lot.

Is there a karmic result for not helping a situation?

When I work on some photo editing, quite often, I listen to either music or something spiritual depending on what I need most that day. On this particular day, I listened to a spiritual talk called ” the karmic result of not helping a situation“. Referring to many countries who are experiencing countless atrocities and being forced to flee their lands or convert to whatever the hostile side is demanding; one of the audience members asked the speaker, “How can someone who’s ongoing nature and path is to peaceful, avoid being involved in controversial situations whatever scale they may be? “. “Is the answer to run away to avoid it? “

Doing nothing to avoid conflict isn’t always the answer.

When I heard the response, it was as if another window was opened along the road to my spiritual path. If you don’t stand for something, you will always be running. Ignoring a situation that hurts others with the mentality that it’s not affecting you will almost guarantee you the karmic result of that same issue being at your doorstep one day. I think it’s fair to say that in the most basic general way, every person deserves a chance at happiness. When that chance is taken away from someone, we all become at risk of it being taken from us.

So, although the speaker did not encourage violence, he also did not encourage passivity.

I could not even begin to suggest solutions in such horrific situations and I do not think there is any one solution to finding ways to help a situation like that but I certainly think about it often.

In our own daily lives, just being an advocate for compassion can take a tiny bit of anger out of a conversation and create the scenario for a more open mind. As we all know, the result of these hostile situations has created a domino effect in the migration of millions of displaced families to our own lands. How would you feel if you were in the shoes of those families. I personally cannot imagine.

So my big lesson that day was not to always avoid conflict for fear of confrontation but instead to be courageous and risk adversity and hope that in the very least, with having done my own research, I can properly support my position and be respected for at least having one. xo

A couple of years ago, when I still lived in NY, there were many instances when I gave someone the power to upset me. I was fully aware that my getting upset made no sense because this person did not even know me but yet I still could not deny that I let his words hurt me. I was feeling a little bummed as I walked to the Monday Buddhist meditation lecture, but I almost knew that the teacher would say something, even if it was a little something…that would make me feel better.

Anyway, the teacher put a name to something I knew existed but could not identify by definition but I always felt was the case when a person acted this way. What I am referring to is deluded pride versus wisdom pride.
You know the value of every article of merchandise, but if you don’t know the value of your own soul, it’s all foolishness. – Rumi

Wisdom Pride vs. Deluded Pride.

Wisdom pride, as I understand it…is pride based on wisdom. For example, I know not to do certain things and may give you advice, not because I know it all but because I have done something similar and learned from my mistakes, and would if possible, like to spare you the hurt, pain and disappointment associated with this action. You should feel a sense of pride when you have accomplished something fully knowing that you have done your very best. Wisdom pride has the best intentions.

Deluded pride is the sense of entitlement one feels when they put value on things outside of oneself. It’s the arrogant manner and mistreatment of others based on the illusion that having these “superficial qualities” entitles one to be above another.

The quote I have included below explains deluded pride very well.

‘I got this today,’ they say ‘tomorrow I shall get that. This wealth is mine, and that will be mine too. I have destroyed my enemies. I shall destroy others too am I not like God I enjoy what I want. I am successful. I am powerful. I am happy. I am rich and well-born. Who is equal to me I will perform sacrifices and give gifts, and rejoice in my own generosity.’

This is how they go on, deluded by ignorance. Bound by their greed and entangled in a web of delusion, whirled about by a fragmented mind, they fall into a dark hell. Self-important, obstinate, swept away by the pride of wealth, they ostentatiously perform sacrifices without any regard for their purpose. Egotistical, violent, arrogant, lustful, angry, envious of everyone, they abuse my presence within their own bodies and in the bodies of others.– Bhagavad-Gita

The sum of me can never be measured by anything outside of me. – VC

We will never be able to control every aspect of our lives and plan every person we encounter. The only way we can prepare ourselves is to be mindful of the above and to not let these kinds of situations ruin our days and nights. When your self worth is based on things outside of you, you will always be seeking, searching, upgrading. It’s a constant insatiable urge that you have to fill a void. Quite honestly, that is just very exhausting, expensive and time consuming. I have been there. So, when you encounter someone like this, try to have compassion because a life of insatiable searching for your self worth is a very sad, long and lonely life. So, take a deep breath, send them a silent blessing and walk away.

Needless to say, I walked out of that evening from the meditation center with a little smile on my face. xo

I carefully source my beads and put a lot of personal touches into each piece. My goal is to bring something well made and beautifully styled together. Each piece is full of color and beautiful energy to partner with your soul and possibly your cute outfit 🙂

Images above were taken by me at Massengale Park on St. Simons Island, GA. Model is the gorgeous Chibuzoa Aguocha. Chewey is modeling my beadwork.

Vanilla Clouds is sold at Infuse Yogahere on the island and I am also selling on Etsy in my shop. All my work is handmade and unique(so no two are alike).

“If you’re brave enough to risk…to temporarily live outside of your comfort zone for a short period of time, your big enough to win!”-Walt Whitman

When I read this line, I thought…wow, such a simple thought, but the reality is, that it’s not so simple to live out of your comfort zone. We all have our crutches, our safety nets, our habits, our defense mechanisms to keep us in a place we built to keep us safe. But safe doesn’t always help you grow, it doesn’t help you relate to other people and it certainly doesn’t help you learn to overcome your obstacles. I am not saying that you need to be this huge adventure seeker, but having an open mind will at least expose you to new ideas, new experiences, opportunities and choices.

There are so many things that scare me and I have no idea why and I’m super embarrassed to even share some of them. So, if you have ever thought this, please know you are not alone. Every time we push ourselves to do something that scares us, gives us anxiety, makes us nervous, we are winning. When I push myself, I also know that I am building healthy pride, integrity and self respect. All of these things will help me face life’s challenges just a little bit better.

When you do what you set out to do, that injured little soul inside you gets stronger, your inner score card gets more points 🙂

It doesn’t happen overnight and to be honest, new fears will continue to pop up as you continue to live outside of your comfort zone. So, be kind to yourself and be patient with those around you because we all have fears we struggle with that we would never admit to for fear of being shamed.

Sometimes I have found myself pushing a friend to take a chance that to me is an obvious opportunity but to them is very frightening. I have to remind myself that we are all on our own path and we are all fighting our own inner battles. I certainly don’t like it when I’m pushed. It doesn’t mean that I will give up on that friend, it just means that I won’t attach any expectations to the advice I give her. I will support her and continue to plant seeds of goodness, encourage her and empower her. Every little bit helps.

So, talk yourself into taking a baby step when no ones looking. Push yourself even when your scared and I promise you, you will make yourself so proud and that is one of the best feelings to have. xo

Images above were taken by me on St.Simons Island this past week. The model is my friend Chibuzo Aguocha 🙂 I’m so lucky to have all these beautiful souls to pose for me!! More to come. xo

The most obvious example of this would be drinking excessively or taking drugs in excess and using these as escapism. No one assumes they will become addicted when they first try it to distract themselves or numb themselves from the pain of life. It’s the kind of thing that creeps up on you and if you’re not wise, will completely bewitch you and wreak havoc on anything and anyone around you.

However, this can also easily apply to an unhappy job situation, unhealthy habits, and unhealthy relationships.

When you are unable to walk away from something that is holding you back, you become trapped in your “cycle of life” or as Buddhists would say, trapped in “samsara“. From my Buddhist studies, I have interpreted that anything that distracts you from your personal progress and path is a delusion. So, the above would be considered delusions. Now, it’s unlikely that my life will ever be clear of delusions entirely 🙂 but I hope to keep it as clear as possible so that I can continue to grow and be a positive influence to others.

Delusions: According to Buddhism, any unpeaceful, uncontrolled state of mind is a delusion. All delusions are unrealistic minds arising from so called “inappropriate attention”, or thinking about things in a false way.

It’s not always obvious when you have fallen into something that stops your growth. I remember being in a relationship many years ago and at first it was very exciting and the relationship was actually bringing out a side of me that I never knew existed. I was showing emotions and feeling this overwhelming love growing every day inside of me. I felt validated that someone loved me and I had a new motivation to get up every day. I completely understood the metaphor “lovesick” because you are nearly sick and up until this point, the only thing that had made me sick was food. ;-/

When the relationship started to fail, I almost felt paralyzed. It’s amazing how something can take a hold of you emotionally and it almost feel as if your legs were strapped into a roller coaster. I know that some people become co-dependent to the ups and downs of that roller coaster, but I was simply hopelessly in love and I clearly loved the other person more than I did myself. I was stuck and allowed this person to continue mistreating me. I stopped growing.

Love without control.

It’s interesting what kind of wisdom and when the wisdom you have learned decides to show itself and just sort of smacks you over the head. It may have always been there, but for some reason, we choose not to search for it.

One day, despite the heartache, it just hit me and I knew this person would not make a good husband, father, role model and at this point, I felt that I was betraying myself because his ethics and morals did not match mine. If I had continued the relationship with this person, it may have not only stopped my growth, but actually made me compromise a lot more of myself and what I believed in.

I am so glad that it clicked for me because despite children and marriage being so far away from that moment, I was still very sensitive to the qualities I needed in a partner. I was also glad to get past that part of my life because that was only the first of many lessons I was to learn and continue to learn. Emotional intelligence is so important. In the most simplest terms, emotional intelligence is understanding your emotions and therefore understanding the emotions of others and the sooner you learn it, the better capable you are to make better decisions for yourself and others. xo

Images above were taken by me. Model is Lauren Price and she is beautifully modelling my new jewels soon to be sold at Infuse Yoga Studio here on St. Simons Island, GA.

We are all faced with situations or scenarios that sort of remind us of something we may have wanted or dreamed about and perhaps let go or didn’t pursue hard enough. Sometimes, we really can’t control it but then…sometimes we can.

I don’t want what’s for her, I don’t want what’s for him, I want what’s for me.

And the only way you can find what is for you, is if you work hard for it, work through the obstacles and then work past the suffering and setbacks. You have got to dig deep inside and learn who you are, why you are, what makes you tick and what makes you power down.

“A lot of people get so hung up on what they can’t have that they don’t think for a second about whether they really want it.” -Lionel Shriver.

The problem with coveting the dreams of others is precisely that….they are the dreams of others. Someone else’s dreams will never satisfy you deep down. Being blinded by what society feeds you as important, will also never satisfy you deep down.

“The thought of being whoever I want is a terrifying thing, because I have only ever been who everyone has wanted me to be.” –Dianna Hardy

The only way to really find that intrinsic happiness is to be true to yourself, find what you need to be happy and go after it without worrying what others might think. It may take your whole life but at least you will live your life fighting for something that really matters to you…something that makes you grow inside a little bit each day. xo

Pictures above were taken at the John Gilbert Trail on St.Simons Island. Still working from a group of selfies I shot with a new tripod I was trying out. Getting creative and trying new things!!

This morning on my run, lots of ideas were popping into my head, which is why I love running so much. I felt an overwhelming emotion of thanks but the thanks I felt was actually directed towards myself.
I was thanking myself for practicing patience over a situation that happened months ago. The scenario had just popped into my head…I guess that was my subconscious telling me that I needed some sort of closure or reckoning. It was a small situation I had with someone that really challenged me to remain neutral and not take the actions of the other person so personal and be offended. It was a conversation that challenged my ongoing conscious effort of having a peaceful, patient and compassionate heart. Clearly it’s not easy, as it took me a couple of months to calm down and to realize not reacting was the right thing to do. But I can assure you that had I reacted, I would have felt tremendous guilt because eventually, I would have had time to think about the fact that we are all fighting our own demons and although I may have a bit of a head start on mine, we are all not at the same pace or place in our journey.

So, just as I should have patience for myself in my growth, having patience for those around me is also important as they too are fighting demons.

I don’t think anyone consciously wants to sabotage their own future and the relationships around them, but it is an obstacle some of us are fighting in our journeys. So, when I really think about it, that small disruption in my day, was not about me, it was about that person and their ongoing journey. The best that I can do, is to let it go and keep myself on my own path of progress.

Choosing to keep someone in your life who continually chooses to make decisions that keep them in a downward cycle of life(when they themselves admit this) is another topic of discussion. The world is filled with angels, and some are strictly gifted in lifting others up. It’s not an easy job and we all have our strengths, but at the very least, we can provide a bit of patience and compassion to those around us and just opt to remain quiet until we have the strength to respond in a better way.

Patience is one of the best gifts we can teach ourselves and it is also one of the best gifts we can give to others.

Images above were taken at the John Gilbert Trail in St.Simons Island, GA. I added a cooling photo filter for a moody affect in photoshop!

The other day as I was riding my bike, I came across a bunch of acorns. These acorns were a bit older and the colors were fading to a pale gray or very light brown. Acorns are one of the things that I actually really enjoy shooting because every single one of them is different.

Before the summer began, Brian and I were riding our bikes along a back road and he was a bit ahead of me. I saw a bunch of fresh acorns sprawled across the road and I stopped to snap them. He looked back at me and saw me squatting on the ground and yelled, “what are you shooting?” I said, “acorns” he said, “why, they all look the same”. I smiled.

It’s moments like these, that remind me how different everyone’s eye is. I can see the varying shades of an acorn and identify beauty in the bark of an old tree. I can spot a pattern of trees against a blue sky and love shooting the wood of carefully crafted bridges. I feel so lucky that there are so many things that I allow to lift me up if I just pay attention.

“Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.”
― Mary Oliver

Pictures above were taken at the John Gilbert Nature Trail(first 3) and Jekyll Island (last 3) Golden Isles, GA Coast.