We search the world, asking questions. Sometimes we get answers that change the way we look at our lives and the cosmos.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Romance & Religion: an Amazing Choice

Imagine you are in a room with 6 side rooms. Assume you are looking for love. Behind each door is a person of the appropriate gender for you for romance. You are truthfully told that the people behind the doors are smart, attractive, and of appropriate age for you. Alas, that's all you're told. Behind the doors are (1) Christian person, (2) Jewish person, (3) Muslim person, (4) Hindu person, (5) Buddhist person, (6) atheist.

Which door would you prefer to choose? Alternatively, if you have no preference, feel free to say so.

Interesting thought experiment, but as it happens, this is probably more real than experiment anyway since people generally marry people of a common belief system. My answer, cautiously, would be to choose the Christian door but that would come with some heavy caveats. Religion as a word has become a by-word in some places in the world because of oppressive regimes which have enforced the idea that they are the representatives of God when really they are simply political arms of control. If you mean by Christian, someone who agrees with the oppression and dark history of this movement, then I demur and would ask instead for a true follower of Jesus who loves others and is willing to sacrifice for the truth.

My second choice would be the Jewish door since their God is our God anyway and my sense is that we would have alot of our values in common.

I would probably be ok with the Buddhist or the Hindu or the atheist, as it would be easier to connect in a "spiritual philosophy as interpretation of nature" kind-of-way.. ie: they would be much less likely to hold beliefs that were in conflict with basic scientific tenets.

i would choose the one who could best discuss thier exit strategy from our relationship.we do this in business, why not in a personal relationship that, as it evolves, involves assets and responsibilities with very little to distinguish it from commercial enterprise. though it may offend the sensibilities of the romantically inclined, it is a reality a fair proportion of relationships will have to face eventually.

If each of the individuals behind the six doors is looking for love as well then I would choose all six doors and meet each of the individuals because I like to believe that romance and romantic love have the power to supercede man made concepts like religion and atheism. Opening only one door would substanially diminish the possibility of meeting a true lover and opening all six, (while increasing the odds), is still no quarantee that the chemistry and magic would exist in any combination unless your question is suggesting some kind of loveless arranged marriage based on religious preference?

You'd think intelligence would mean you would pick a more plausible religion, because you'd have good reasons for it, but modern psychology tells us that people are irratinal in most of their decisions and make rationalizations a split second later, so intelligence would only affect the consistency of the rationalizations people make up after they choose a religion. I would have to go with the atheist, as my it would best work with my view of God, as less of a personal omnipotent being and more as a set of probabilities that affect the universe over time.

Why such a limted set of options? No Zoroastrians, no followers of Voudoun, no pagans of any flavour, no Deists, no shamanic nor aboriginal spirtual paths, no Sufis, no Kali-worshippers, no followers of Shinto nature worship, and no transcendentalists, eh? Not even a Canadian Inuit? What makes you think that 'love' and or 'romance' are mediated by religions rather than hormones and pheremones, genotypes or shared work interests? Why imagine that love cannot be sparked by someone of radically different family/type rather than one's own 'logical' preference (the Capulet/Montague syndrome)? Why not suppose that love transcends all such superficial characteristics as a spiritual imperative that mows down differences by the force of an overwhelming desire for unity? In short, I think you have posed a very shallow question--or at least couched it in trivializing language. If love is merely a mating dance, one might as well allow one's parents to arrange a properly social bondage in marriage. If one is free to love where one wills, why assume that only one of those persons is the "right" mate, or the only mate? One could accept several or all of them, simultaneously or in succession, as one chose. Love can have many forms. What begins or ends in friendship (philos is a form of love) may or may not begin or end with sexual attraction (eros, another form of love) Why not think about it in a more galatic form: suppose one or more of the doors concealed a off-world alien. Then what?

Why base you're love interests on beliefs rather than genetics? Perhaps because those opinions come from genetics. As far as science can tell, genetics affects roughly fifty percent of our personalities and characteristics.

Buhddist...easy to talk to. Easy to get along with. Willing to allow for my flights of fancy, while some of the other religions are too dogmatic and would "box" me in. Plus I don't have to throw away a day off every week going to temple-church-mosque and hang out with a group of people that are trying to box me in too with their thinking..."One of us, one of us!" (just kidding...I think)

I think maybe it would depend on which country the person was from - for love potential (not just friendship). If they were all from the same multi cultural country than I'd have no preference. If they were from different countries well, I'd have to know. A Muslim from Canada, The UK or the US could be totally different than one from another country. A Jewish person from somewhere else might be different too. Many places have different media regulations and sub cultures relating to religion. Some might infuse this culture to their own religion. There are always deviations in interpretation. If I didn't know what country, If I could never know: I'd choose the atheist. That way at leat I'd know they are good in bed lol

Alas, in the real world it is usually better to cohabit with one of the same religion. In my lifetime I have seen many marriages that either exist precarioulsy or have broken up due to the partners having conflicts that arise from differing religious beliefs.

I would choose the Atheist because I am an Atheist too. I think it is more important to have things in common than to be opposites.Btw, how can I post using my name instead of being just another "anonymous" poster???

I would most likely choose the Buddhist or the atheist, because they would not be as likely to try to push their belief systems on me. Perhaps we could explore many belief systems and science together.

I certainly would not choose the others, since they are all known for having some radically dogmatic and restrictive members, for fear that I would end up with one of those.

I'm "looking for love" and I have to choose between 6 strangers? Just shoot me!

But I wanna play along, so I'll try to answer.... I'd find it easiest to relate to a Christian, having grown up in a Christian family. It's probably best that I try to find some common ground, since everything I know about these guys suggests that we have little else in common!

i would probably say the athiest, just because in my own experiance people are closed minded to their religious beliefs in most cases. Since the athiest doesnt have a form of organized religion. i would say that that person would tend to think outside the box more frequently.

As soon as you 'label' yourself you place a heavy burden on the world. I may choose none because I have learnt from various spiritual experiences that to become 'who you are supposed to be' you must not apply the 'label'- and at the same time I would be comfortable with any of the people as we have so much to learn from each other whatever the persons road they have chosen to walk down... be open - you never know when you are entertaining angels... I do believe in God and he wants us to get off our arses and do something with our lives!

Assuming that faith is the real issue here, and assuming the people waiting on the other side of the doors are consenting, they are probably religious moderates because of the possibility of their associating romantically with someone of another faith. They would therefore all be interesting to me. We could actually discuss things without one of us trying to force our beliefs on the other. Wouldn't that be refreshing?

I was raised a Christain, but I would probably choose the Buddhist first because I would rather be with a spiritual person, untouched by the first three organized religions. Those religions are mis-interpreted, hippocritical, & historically downright dangerous. Give me a girl with good philsophical understanding & love of life for the sake of it any day.

why should religion make such a difference or such an important factor in our life. Any person who is not fanatic about it is fine. Actually to be more precise, a being with self respect and who is aiming to better himself is all that matters to me.

Since it didn't say you couldn't, I would open all the doors and invite everyone together as a group. Dinner, party, coffee, picnic - it doesn't matter. Just a group of smart, attractive people getting together. If a relationship comes out of that, even better.

I also agree with grimp - who would sit around the other side of a door waiting to be called?!

If I were still looking for a permanent relationship I would have to choose the Jewish woman. That's the rules of the game for seriously believing Jews - you can't marry outside the tribe. It's completely forbidden. To ignore this would be to invite sanctions from Heaven and from the community.

The requirement is quite a sensible one. There would be too many practical conflicts with one's partner on a continuing basis if one ignored this demand. And what religion would the children follow? "Let them make up their own minds?" It won't be a matter of choice in my house.

That's not to deny that the five other participants would also be attractive and interesting, but religion is a real basic building block of the human psyche. It makes sense to use this in your favor when choosing a marriage partner.