I'm writing something for a friend and I'd like some feedback on it if it's not too much to ask for.

This takes place years after the events in Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky. Some Pokemon are still around, while others have passed on. The story focuses on a rescue team from the Blue Rescue Team world (I'm not sure what it's called, sorry) called Team Stella. Composed of a Furret, Espeon and Ampharos, they decided to try their hand at exploring and moved to the EoS world (Also don't know the name. :/ I could probably be a little more informed, huh?) to try it out.

I'm trying to write in third person, but I tend to slip back into first a lot so if you could point out when I do that, I'd appreciate it. Thanks!

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Hot Spring

“Ahh, this hits the spot…” A Delcatty was sitting in the calming waters of the Hot Spring listening to the elder Torkoal telling one of his stories. Contrary to popular belief, Delcatty actually like warm water. This Delcatty was enjoying it a bit more than usual today.

“Man, that dungeon was hard. Blizzard Island was very aptly named. It feels nice to relax here after trekking across that frozen wasteland. I’m a little disappointed that Scizor wasn’t there. I heard that he still goes there sometimes and he’s supposed to give teams the Secret Rank if you can find him.

The Secret Rank, it sounds amazing. You’re authorized to take on special missions and only the best explorers get it. I know that I’m ready, I just know it.” The Delcatty sighed, sinking deeper into the water. “I just wish I could find someone who could give it to me…”

“What was that, little lady?” Torkoal stopped his story and looked at the Delcatty.

“Oh, I’m sorry, was I talking out loud? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” The other Pokémon snickered at the Normal type’s predicament.

“Oh it’s no trouble at all! In fact, it reminds me of one of my other stories, about a Pokémon that was trying to get the Secret Rank for their team. Well, back then it was called the Unattainable Rank, but it’s the same thing. Does anyone want to hear it?” Torkoal asked.

“What about the other story about the great Dragon Pokémon!?” a Dunsparse demanded.

“Oh I don’t even remember where we left off. This story is much more interesting, either way,” Torkoal said. Some of the other Pokémon grumbled, but overall they agreed.

“Okay, so this starts off back when I was just a youngling little Torkoal, growing up in Treasure Town. A rescue team from far away had come after hearing that there were a lot more missons to take on here than where they were from. They signed up to become an exploration team as well and they started at good old Wigglytuff’s Guild to start raising their team rank.”

~ * ~

Wigglytuff’s Guild

“Hey Furret, what should we do today?” A tan and brown ferret-like Pokémon was looking up at the Job Bulletin Board in the guild, scanning over the jobs. A purple Pokémon with a red orb on her forehead walked over from the crew rooms.

“We’re going to go exploring, what else? Why did we sign up here in the first place?” Furret asked. “Sadly, these are all E rank and they won’t do us much good. We could always check Spinda’s Café or the beach, but they’re usually pretty unreliable.”

“Well it’s worth a shot. Hey, have you seen Ampharos? She wasn’t in our room when I got up and I came up here to look for her,” Espeon explained, looking around for the yellow kangaroo-like Pokémon.

“No, haven’t seen her. Wait a minute… What’s this?” Furret pulled a piece of paper down from the Job Bulletin Board and examined it. It was blank, except for a golden seal in the corner with three feathers imprinted on it.

“No, I don’t think so. We may as well hang onto this for now, I guess. Should we try Spinda’s Café?” he asked. Espeon nodded and tried to respond, only to be interrupted by Chatot’s angry yells from below.

“Let’s check it out!” Espeon said, running for the ladder.

“No, no, no! I don’t care! No one is allowed in the mess hall in between meals! Out, out, out!” Chatot was shooing an Ampharos out of the mess hall. The Ampharos held an Apple in her paw.

“Ampharos, what are you doing?” Espeon asked, running over.

“I was just getting a snack. I was hungry…” Ampharos replied, looking down at her feet.

“Come on Ampharos, we’re going over to the Café to look for jobs. And put that down!” Furret said, scurrying back towards the ladder to go upstairs. Ampharos gave the uneaten apple back to Chatot and sauntered over to where Espeon was waiting.

~ * ~

Spinda’s Café

“Are you serious? Nothing? Well, thanks anyway.” Furret walked away from the Ledyba lounging in the highly acclaimed Spinda’s Café. After half an hour, Team Stella still hadn’t found a single job. If they didn’t find one soon, Chatot would be very angry.

“Hey Furret, this guy might have a job for us! He needs to see our badges!” Espeon said from the other side of the Café.

“Here,” Furret said, handing over the team’s Explorer Badges. They were a Hyper Rank team, that had to be impressive.

“Hmm… Sorry, I’m afraid I don’t have anything for you today. Here, you can have this back. Maybe I’ll see you again some other day with a job you can do,” the Pokémon, a Hypno, said, handing the badges back. Furret took them, walking away dejectedly.

“Well, I guess we’re stuck with the E rank jobs for now. I really don’t like taking them, but someone has to do them, right?” he said when they reached the stairs to exit the Café.

“Guys, wait up, you have to see this poster! I was getting a smoothie from Spinda and this one Pokémon was putting up an advertisement for some big competition that they’re having in some place called Zero Isle. Come on, check it out!” Ampharos called to her teammates. Espeon and Furret looked at each other and walked back into the Café to where Ampharos was pointing to a large poster hung between the two shops.

Calling all exploration teams! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that you can’t let slip by! This is the chance to prove your worth among all the other teams out there! Beginning in one week’s time is the chance to attain the highly acclaimed and extremely enviable Unattainable Rank!

The competition will be in five parts. The first will be at Zero Isle South. Only the first four teams to finish the first part of the test will be allowed to proceed, so be sure you’re fully prepared!