November 6, 2006

Prediction Ceremony

I have spent the day in a sweat-lodge of my own construction, burning pages and pages of news articles and polling results and inhaling the smoke. At the end of the ritual, I drink an entire bottle of cough syrup. The results of Tuesday election have come to me in a vision.

The Democrats will gain 30 seats in the House and take control.

They will gain five seats in the Senate, resulting in a 50-50 tie. The strain from all the close votes and having to serve as a constant tie-breaker will drive Dick Cheney to yet another heart attack.