Movie List Part Four (Millennial Edition)

My 2 part retrospective on EVERY MOVIE I have ever seen in a cinema is now in its 4th part! (eep)

This chapter will catch us up to the end of the 00’s. As before, we will list good/bad movies and then show the WORST and BEST. At the end, we will proclaim the Best/Worst of the decade! This was a close one!

2005

Bad Stuff:

215 Doom: A really really bad movie. I am surprised that Karl Urban returned to Sci Fi after this film, let alone a few GREAT sci fi films (Dredd, Star Trek). It is basically what you think it is- zombie monsters on a Mars Colony. The video Game “Doom” translated to screen with no talent or ingenuity in its writing.

216 Narnia: Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe: I did not enjoy this film. I was not a reader of the books, and I have vague memories of my mother trying to force the 1980’s tv version down my throat. When Santa Claus showed up and gave the kids magical weapons, I pretty much called BS right then and there.

217 Fantastic Four: Sheesh! What the heck was this? I personally enjoy Dr Doom actor Julian McMahon quite a bit, but he was completely miscast.

Worst:

218 King Kong: Sorry PJ! This was just a misstep of epic proportions. Far too long, and just not entertaining.

Good Stuff:

219 Brothers Grimm: I really knew nothing going into this film. I sat down, started watching and was shocked. “Hey!” I said to my wife and friend with us. “This is just like a Terry Gilliam movie! It’s even got Johnathan Pryce!” They looked at me horrified. “This IS a Gilliam movie! idiot!” hehe.

220 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: This movie was handicapped from the start. It was never going to reach the level of affection that the old Gene Wilder film possessed. It does a good job though. Depp was well cast.

221 Constantine: Hellblazer comes to the screen! A good adaptation. As they prepare to reuse the character for the “Justice League Dark” film, I hope that Keanu is asked to return.

222 Dukes of Hazzard: A guilty pleasure. I love the Broken Lizard guys, and they made this one. Jessica Simpson’s pants (circa 2005) nearly ended my engagement to Tatum.

223 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Wow. Epic filmmaking. As in the books, this is the film where everything turns a corner. Voldemort comes back, draws blood, and shit gets real. Such a great film.

224 Robots: A cute animated film that I enjoyed, but simply forgot existed.

225 Serenity: The big screen finale to Firefly by Joss Whedon. I was lucky to meet the entire cast at Comic-Con that summer, and I am glad to have gotten a chance to congratulate Joss on getting this film made.

226 Sky High: We almost skipped this one, but Bruce Campbell as the Gym teacher won us over. Cool movie.

227 War of the Worlds: Fantastic Spielberg action film, of the type he stopped making. Tom Cruise is great in this.

228 Wedding Crashers: A standard Vince Vaughn comedy, but still good.

Best:

3: 229 Revenge of the Sith: The FINALE! (until 2015 apparently) This is what I’d been waiting for since childhood- Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader. I was not disappointed. This was the best of the trilogy.

42: 230 Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: I thought for sure this would suck…and it DID NOT! They captured the insanity of the novel quite perfectly.

1: 231 Batman Begins: Talk about unexpected. There was little buzz on this movie. I was almost dreading it- ANOTHER Batman movie?! Let it stop! I went anyway. Well…if you’ve seen it, and I know you have, you know why this is #1.

We add 17 movies in 2005, bringing the total to 231 movies!

2006

A rough year for some comic movies, but a great for others.

Bad stuff:

232 Scary Movie 4: Whatever goodwill #3 earned with me was pissed away in this installment. What an embarrassment to all involved. This is where I exited the Scary Movie crazy train.

233 Superman Returns: Ugh! Superman is a stalker now!? Horrible Comic movie! How could this be topped?

234 X-Men 3: AIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

235 Snakes on a Plane: Proof that comic-con buzz does not guarantee a great/good film.

Worst:

236 Poseidon: Gene Hackman and Ernest Borgnine should have bitch slapped the crew responsible for this one. The Poseidon Adventure is one of my “Go-to” films when I need something good. This might be my most hated movie ever…except Battlefield Earth.

Good Stuff:

237 Pink Panther: A surprisingly good adaptation of the Inspector Clouseau character. Steve Martin is pretty good in the lead, and Kevin Kline is perfection as Dreyfus.

243 Beerfest: The Broken Lizard boys strike again! Their best film since Super Troopers. Underground Beer drinking needs to be a real sport.

244 Jackass 2: Ah, the men of my generation. Gotta love em.

Best:

3: 245 Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Ahoy Matey! Holy crap, did they top #1 or what?! Perfection.

2: 246 V For Vendetta: radically different than the comic, but just as impacting. Tremendous work by all involved.

1: 247 Casino Royale: Daniel Craig made me eat crow. I initially thought he was a poor choice. I have never been so happy to be wrong. A phenomenal start to his tenure as Bond. Little did I know what was to come with Skyfall!

16 added in 2006, total 247!

2007

A crazy year, some really really bad movies, and a couple outstanding entries

Bad Stuff:

248 Die Hard 4: No where near the quality of the originals. Even #2.

249 Fantastic Four 2: It took all that was bad in the first, amplified it, and then ruined the biggest villain in Marvel Comics.

250 Shrek 3: King Arthur?! Really? So bad.

Worst

:

251 Ghost Rider: It almost seems unfair to pick on this movie, but I must. Who thought casting Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider was a good idea? Who further allowed him to play the role like Evel Knievel?

Good Stuff:

252 Spiderman 3: I don’t share the universal hate for this one, but it was “ok”. A huge step down from #2. Helping this is that it might be the only version of the Symbiote suit we ever see on screen.

253 Aquateen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters: How sad is it that I wrote that name from memory? It is a Hunger Force film, true to its roots.

254 Harry Potter 5: I feel like they fumbled the death of Sirius a little bit, but still enjoyable.

255 Simpsons: Literally 20 years too late. Well, more like 17. Still enjoyable.

256 Superbad: Seminal comedy of the year. Crude, but memorable. it created more than a couple stars.

257 Balls of Fury: A film I am incredibly proud to have seen in the Theater. Christopher Walken as the Asian Crime Boss was inspired. One of the better spoofs of Enter the Dragon.

259 Beowulf: It had that creepy “Polar Express” style of animation, but was a good telling of the tale.

260 Pirates 3: A step down from the high that was #2, but still very good. The presence of Geoffrey Rush is appreciated.

261 I am Legend: Will Smith’s best Blockbuster to date, and he’s had a few great ones. This is only one we own though.

Best:

3)

262 Transformers: Man oh man! That first film was so damn good. Easily a top three picture for me.

2)

263 300: The manliest movie ever made. Gerard Butler’s abs are a force to be reckoned with. The production on a sequel has me worried. Don’t mess with perfection.

1)

264 Ocean’s Thirteen: The one film of 2007 that I could watch on a loop. As before, perfect performances, but this time with the addition of the incomparable Al Pacino. I wish we were up to Ocean’s 16 by now, but this was a good place to stop. RIP Bernie Mac.

17 added in 2007. 17 seems to be an average number of movies for me. This moves us to 264

2008

A cool year. This year started the typical 8 and 9 of the decade surge in good cinema. A pattern I saw in 88 and 89, and 98 and 99 movies.

The Bad:

265 Narnia 2: Like the first, but not as bad. For my tastes, a DEFINITE step up from Lion, Witch, and Wardrobe. Still left me cold.

266 Wanted: How could they screw this up? A world where Supervillains have defeated the heroes, and WIPED all memory of them from existence. They rule the earth. They took that, and made it a film about magical cotton looms that order people to be assassinated. BS.

267 Hancock: A misstep for Mr Smith. Started off strong, should have soared after the revelation of the other super powered person. Instead it fell flat.

WORST:

268 The Mummy 3: Wow. I thought 2 was weak. This was the biggest pile of steamy dog poop of 2008. I was ashamed at having seen this. By the point the Abominable Snowmen showed up, spoke Chinese, and started Kung Fu fighting, I was screaming bloody murder at the screen. Horrible theater etiquette, but deserved. Rachel Weisz was Weisz to avoid this one.

The good:

269 Cloverfield: A decent movie, but the pre film hype may have been more interesting than the final result. Still a good movie.

270 Indy IV: I can’t see the hate. No more fantastic or ridiculous than any of the others. Its great to see Ford reprise his greatest character.

271 Zohan: Funny movie. John Turturro steals it though. Last good Sandler movie.

281 Valkyrie: Possibly Tom Cruise’s best film. He is a physical match of Stauffenberg. Terrific cast.

Best:

3) TIE:

282 Iron Man: The movie that started Avengers Phase One! RDJ was born to play this role.

283 Tropic Thunder: RDJ steals the show. Best comedy of the year. Recommended to all. Great performances from entire cast.

2)

284 Wall-E: Almost the best movie of the year. Easily the best film Pixar ever made.

1)

285 The Dark Knight: Could it be anything else? An amazing movie. Ledger was captivating. Such a loss. I walked in thinking that the hype over him getting an oscar nomination was entirely because he died. I walked out convinced he would win it.

21 films make the list for a strong 2008. The tally stands at 285

2009

The end of the decade. The comic book decade.

The Bad:

286 The Spirit: A movie I REALLY wanted to love. In many ways, true to the Eisner comic, but in others completely off. Frank Miller leaned too heavily in his “Sin City” aesthetic.

287 The Wrestler: A critical darling and the Resurrection of the career of Mickey Rourke. It did nothing for me. The performances were good, but it all just fell flat. The autograph signing scene really hits reality though.

288 Friday the 13th: Not a good entry in this series. Better than Jason X, but still bad. It tried to recapture the vibe of the first 3 films, but failed. Wake me up when the REAL Jason returns.

289 Bruno: Not as funny as Borat. Amusing in places, but mostly annoying.

290 Paranormal Activity: Silly. I applaud their ability to make a cheap movie, and be successful, but it did nothing for me.

Worst:

291 X-Men Origins- Wolverine: Ugh! I thought they could not get worse than X-Men 3. They achieved it though. X Men First Class, and the upcoming Days of Future Past have a lot of heavy lifting to do after this.

The Good:

292 Gran Torino: Eastwood’s Last great role. He is focusing on Directing from here on out, and this is a hell of a way to go out. A wonderful movie.

293 The Reader: Another great film. A challenging film that explores a romance between a woman and a young man in Germany. She is much older than he is. She is accused of Nazi War Atrocities. Well written, and amazingly acted. Great stuff.

294 Milk: Sean Penn is amazing in this. He fully inhabits the character of Harvey Milk. One of his best roles.

295 Slumdog Millionaire: A fantastic movie, set in India, we see the story of a young man who finds himself on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire”. Well crafted.

296 Pink Panther 2: Not as good as the first, but that is mostly due to the loss of Kevin Kline from the cast.

297 Watchmen: A FANTASTIC adaptation of the film. I disagree strongly with the hate of this, and its changes.

298 Angels and Demons: A hundred times superior to the Da Vinci Code. Ewan McGregor is great as the young Priest. A great movie.

299 Terminator 4: A worthy sequel to this series. Better than 3, and I am sad it did not catch on as strongly with audiences.

300 Hangover: What more can be said. A cultural touchstone.

301 Harry Potter 6: One of the best in the series to this point. This is where the series hits the start of the finale. All the young actors come into their own here, and are remarkable.

302 GI Joe: A flawed, but good movie. It had some serious issues regarding Cobra Commander, but it had a lot of great things happening.

303 2012: I hate that I enjoyed this movie. That is all.

304 Avatar: Ah, the great movie! Dances with Wolves/Fergully…IN SPACE! Amazing effects, good story. I enjoyed it immensely.

305 Men who stare at goats: Now this was a great movie. Investigation into a 1960’s program to develop Psychic powers in the Military. So..SO funny. “I am a Jedi master”

Best:

3)

306 District 9: Surprise movie of the year. I witnessed the incredible promotional campaign at Comic Con, and decided to give it a chance. I was not let down. A GREAT film.

2)

307 Inglorious Basterds: Oh… to place this at #2. Tarantino’s best movie. Melanie Laurent! Brad Pitt! Christoph Waltz!!! That man was a revelation.

1)

308 Star Trek: How could it be anything else. I saw it 9 times in the theater. Everyone I knew wanted to see it with me. This is one of my all time favorites.

23 movies were added for a total of 308 movies from 1987-2009!

The Decade is over! I am gonna write one more article to catch up on 2010, and recap 11 and 12. Look for that soon. But the question remaining is this:

Best and worst of the Decade 2000-09?

Worst:

Battlefield Earth: Insurmountable. Proclaimed the worst movie of the decade, just as the decade began. They were right. As bad as things got, nothing matched the level of suckage attained by this POS.

Best:

This is interesting, as it does fluctuate as time goes on. Initially, Star Trek was the film that really did it for me. Dark Knight was a revelation, The Bond Reboots were awesome and Lord of the Rings was a cultural touchstone,but when the 10 films I chose as best for the decade were lined up, there was one that rose to mythic level for me.

Inglorious Bastards

Yes! One not even on my top of the year. lol.

2009 seems to be one of the more hotly debated years for me. There was SO much happening that year. Kill Bill nearly had this. In fact, if I follow the rules Kill Bill wins.

However, Bastards rises above it, despite my love affair with the Bride/Bill/ the whole bloody affair. This is due to one, and only one, reason:

The man is magic. Pure magic. Even in bad films he is captivating. With Tarantino he is ephemeral. This movie even had Michael Fassbender nearly steal it just by drinking a glass of scotch. The best of the decade.