The 14 Most Unintentionally Terrifying Statues in the World

#7. The Boll Weevil Monument -- Enterprise, Ala.

Enterprise, Ala., is your average, prosperous, polite Southern town that has gained a measure of notoriety for its supposedly rather eccentric central statue. We don't really see what makes it so special, though. See, it's just your average neoclassical statue of a robed lady holding up a WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT?

The Boll Weevil Monument is the town's testament to the critter that destroyed the area's cotton crops in 1915. The reason behind this is understandable: The event made the townspeople convert to farming much more lucrative peanuts. What the town has decided to ignore, however, is the fact that the Boll Weevil Monument happens also to be a statue for honoring a beetle that fucked over the whole South during the Great Depression and can thus claim responsibility for countless deaths. Hold that torch up, Enterprise! Hold that torch up high!

#6. The Point Pleasant Mothman

Point Pleasant, W.Va., is one of those innumerable sleepy, anonymous little towns that make up the heartland of America. And, where some towns would decorate the town square with a statue of George Washington or Jebediah Springfield, Point Pleasant has what appears to be Robo-Mothra, waiting to take on Godzilla.

Actually, that's the no-less-stupid Mothman, a mythical creature rumored to live in an abandoned TNT factory near the town and linked to a centuries-old curse, as the townspeople (at least those who are willing to discuss this at all) will happily explain to you. And what better way to celebrate the town's unique legend than a 12-foot-tall, silvery form made of red eyes and murder? And a manly thatch of chest hair?

#5. El Mesteno -- Denver

Via Lori GreigWe're assuming that if you look on the ground behind this fucker, you'll see that Satan has gotten thrown off his steed.

The Denver International Airport has something no other airport in the world has. Or, for that matter, wants. It's a statue of a horse called El Mesteno, and its demonic gaze is the very first thing greeting you when you step out of the airport building:

El Mesteno, or "oh shit run it's the giant hellhorse" as it is more affectionately known, is the gatekeeper between you and Denver, and the price for getting any further is your soul. Which it incidentally took the second it laid those eyes on you, so you now have nothing to bargain with.

#4. The Awakening -- Washington, D.C.

A number of iconic images are associated with Washington, D.C., the power capital of the world. The Lincoln Memorial and Capitol Hill are familiar to even the most casual moviegoer. But another monument in the city is a far more fitting analogy to the dogfight politics that take place behind every closed door of the city's power elite -- yet this one never seems to make it to the silver screen.

It's an insane-looking 100-foot giant (is that Uncle Sam?) screaming its lungs out while struggling against the ground. Is this supposed to symbolize America, hopelessly struggling against quicksand? It's called The Awakening, but we're assuming that's referring to the awakening of whatever subterranean creature is dragging the old man under.

#3. The Giant Eyeball -- Chicago

Jesus, look at that thing! You have to wonder how the logic behind building this one went.

"You know what's missing from the park?"
"No, what?"
"A three-story eyeball!"
"Come again now?"
"You heard me. Get to it."
"But-"
"Yes, Azathoth the Great Conqueror will be pleased."
"Wait, what?"
"Oh, nothing. Just a cough. Now get to it."

The real horror of EYE is that you can't escape it -- it's not permanently affixed to any one spot. It's in Pritzker Park in Chicago today; tomorrow it could be in your city. It's a moving exhibition that is transported from park to park. So one night you're heading home after a big night out and you take a shortcut to your house through a familiar park, only to find yourself face to face with the 30-foot eye of Sauron. Staring. Judging.

Not only does his "tree" look like a sex toy that's ready to give you the gift of an embarrassing trip to the emergency room, but damn if that bell doesn't look like a bottle, too. Hell, this thing might just as well be renamed "the Ghost of that one and, incidentally, only Christmas when it was Uncle Henry's turn to be Santa." The statue of Santa Claus by Paul McCarthy was welcomed with open arms and installed by the Rotterdam city council, none of whom saw anything wrong it. However, it took the public roughly 0.63 seconds to give the statue the loving nickname Kabouter Buttplug.

And stop by Linkstorm to see what happens when the Cracked staff creates a statue.

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