Wouldn’t Do Without Wednesday: Daddy Dolls

Monday was Memorial Day, the American remembrance to honour all who have given their lives in service to the USA.

Too often, we get caught up in the excitement of a day off work, family barbecues, and widely advertised sales, forgetting the Memorial part of the day altogether. My daughters’ father is a career soldier and has served 3 combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. While we’re thankful that he has never been injured, I’m very aware that not all military families are so fortunate. On this day of the year, I always remember a waitress I met near where we live. We started chatting about our families when she noticed that my girls were twins. She was pregnant with her twins, she told me, when her husband was killed on duty at the Pentagon, on September 11, 2001. She moved back to Texas so that her parents could help her raise her three children even as she grieved.

It’s easy to overlook how war, especially war that takes place far from our shores, impacts children. It does impact them, though. My daughters have known all their lives that Daddy goes away to catch bad men. They know that he carries a gun, and so do the bad men. They also know that most of the people in Iraq and Afghanistan are just mommies and daddies and kids who don’t want any fighting. They just want to be together.

These conversations with my daughters were not easy. They were at least as hard as the conversations we’ve had about divorce and that mommy and daddy don’t love each other any more. Now that M and J are 9, they can verbalize how they’re feeling. When they were younger, it was much harder, especially with Daddy away more often than he was living with us at home.

To help my daughters talk about and process their father’s absence, I turned to Daddy Dolls, a company started by two Marine wives. They turn the full-length photo of a loved one into a doll for your child to interact with. Ours came out wonderfully. They held up through 2 years of daily hugs and countless runs through the washing machine, looking just as they did they day we received them. Sadly, they’ve been left at the bottom of the toy bin since shortly after the divorce, despite my efforts to bring them out to play.

I ordered the girls’ dolls the day that my now-ex left for his 3rd combat tour. We took photos of L in front of our garage the morning he deployed to Afghanistan. The company removed the background image and printed a smiling picture on each of two camo-backed dolls.

When our then 4-year-old daughters received their dolls, they were completely enamoured. You can see their reaction in this video.

A few days after we received the Daddy dolls, I walked over to J’s bed after brushing M’s hair. J had her doll in her hand, facing me.

J (age 4, as Daddy): Hi Sadia!Me: Hi L (ex’s name)!J: So, how are you doing?Me: I’m fine, but I miss you. I have a hard time falling asleep.J: I just came by to say, “You’re welcome.”Me: I see.J: You’re welcome for the dolls.Me: I love you!J: I miss you all, even Penelope (the cat).Me: And we miss you.J: (as J, addressing the doll) You and me only have the … What’s the hole called?Me: A dimple.J: You and me only have a dimple.M (age 4): Mommy and me have moles!J: Does Daddy have a mole?Me: Yes.

Of course, the utility and value of these dolls isn’t limited to families with a deployed parent. Any child suffering loss might benefit. I gave a gift card to the site to a friend for her son when her husband passed away. Moving away from the morbid, when it comes time for holiday shopping, a Daddy (or Mommy or Grandma or Sister) Doll might make for a good present. We received ours in less than two weeks.

As with all Wouldn’t Do Without Wednesday posts, I received no compensation for this review.

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Sadia

Sadia (rhymes with Nadia) has been coordinating How Do You Do It? since late 2012. She is the divorced mother of 10-year-old monozygotic twins, M and J. They live in the Austin, TX suburbs, where Sadia works full time in information technology. She contributes to a number of parenting websites and magazines and also runs The Mommy Blogging Guide, where she answers mommy bloggers' technical questions.
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48 thoughts on “Wouldn’t Do Without Wednesday: Daddy Dolls”

Woweee! We’ve never heard of Daddy Dolls! What a great idea, they look very tactile too, great for snuggles x thanks for sharing on #TwinklyTuesdayBaby Isabella recently posted My Mummy’s Miracle Haircare!

Gosh this post really made me realise how much army wives and children go through, you are doing amazing with your girls #Twinkly TuesdayMackenzie Glanville (reflectionsfromme.com) recently posted Quote of the week

These sound perfect for helping kids deal with loss, I bought my friends kids worry dolls & guardian Angels when their dad passed away but I don’t think they worked as well for them. I wish I’d known about these, l be forwarding this post to my friend who’s husbsnf is off on a long navy stint soon. #thetruthAli recently posted Still breastfeeding?

Great post. It’s something I think about when I need to but I never think about the families and I should do because I think they go through a whole host of emotions that no one really gets. Those dolls are an awesome idea.The L’s Mum recently posted My son likes to kiss other toddlers at playgroup

What a really great idea those dolls are! I can’t imagine how hard it must be for families like you. Thank you for sharing as it has made me understand a little more about how difficult it must be for all involved. Thanks for hosting #TwinklyTuesday

What a great idea, a lot of parents up here work 4 weeks on and 4 weeks off at the oil rigs in the North Sea, this would be a great gift so they can keep their parent close when the real one is off working. Will have to keep this in mind for gifts. xxJenny Eaves recently posted Not Your usual Father’s Day Card

I have heard of these dolls before from friends, and they sound like such a great idea. They even do these dolls for parents that work away for long periods of time. It’s really good (and important) for kids to have something to actually hold onto, and something that they can give a cuddle – especially if it’s a photo of a parent. Good post. #TwinklyTuesdayKelly recently posted THE SHOW

I think it has. Even with the divorce, how the kids interacted (or didn’t interact) with the dolls gave me some insight into how they were feeling about Daddy, particularly when they’re get all their stuffed toys out to play and leave the Daddy Doll facedown in the toy bin.

Wow – amazing dolls! What a wonderful idea. Those conversations must have been so hard for you all – well done. I can’t imagine what it must be like but I know I would struggle with those conversations and the waiting. #TwinklyTuesdayMummy Fever recently posted The busy mummies guide to finishing a marathon

What a wonderful idea. My husband is in the army, and even though his job doesn’t require him to deploy to war zones he is still away for long periods of time. I think M would love a Daddy doll! thank you #twinklytuesdaySophie @ Mum, M & More recently posted Tele Addict!

I’ve never heard of these before. Its always great to get new ideas of things other families have enjoyed. It’s lovely that your girls were so excited to have them. Thanks for hosting #twinklytuesdayRachel @ tenminutesspare recently posted How healthy is the Dad Bod?

What a fabulous idea. I can’t imagine how hard it must be having to explain to children that one of their parents goes off to fight bad people. These dolls must have provided such comfort to your girls when their dad was away. #TwinklyTuesday Hugs Mrs H xxxxMrs H recently posted Moving on after a miscarriage

What a fantastic idea this is. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it is being an army wife but to do it whilst also having children (and twins!), is just something else! I should have got a mummy doll for zach for all the times I’ve been away – although slightly different as we are always able to FaceTime! Thanks as always for being a fab co-host on #TwinklyTuesday

What a really great idea! It must be really hard to spend so much time away from their Daddy, so these Daddy Dolls are just perfect! xMichelle (@AFamilyChatter) recently posted Learning And Experimenting With Shapes

I’ve never heard of these but WHAT an amazing idea???!!!!! Just incredible. Not just for people with parents in the forces but also for children with parents that have passed away. What a fab idea. Thanks so much for being an amazing co-host of #TwinklyTuesday xxxx

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