Islamic Cosmopolitan Magazine

I created this mock IslamicCosmopolitan because I recently received one accidently. I can’t imagine why anyone would think I care about Chrissy Teigen’s “bedtime ritual” or the “surprising reasons” guys stray. It disgusted me so much with its fake caring about women’s issues bullshit that I had to create a more realistic version.

Really? Hillary greedily accepted millions from Islamic states like Qatar and Saudi. You know, Saudi is the country that forces women to wear black tents in the roasting desert heat. It allows Honor Killing, and puts women to death for adultery—which could be rape. It’s the country where religious police beat schoolgirls back into their classroom during a fire rather than have them come out without being covered in their black tents. The girls burned to death. This is who supports Hillary Clinton, Cosmo’s liberal candidate—the one who cares so much for women’s interests.

How about this Afghani woman? What do you think is in her fun, fearless future?

Cosmo’s social justice warriors never write about how millions of Muslim women can’t own who they are. Many Muslim women can’t even read, have no rights, are married off as children, have their genitals removed, and live in fear every day they could be beaten or stoned to death. They are totally at the mercy of the men around them. They certainly can’t “be who they want to be”.

Cosmo doesn’t mention any of this because in the unreal liberal world, no one criticizes Islam, that would be racist, that would be Islamophobic! Cosmo’s articles are pro-Islamic, like the one about a Muslim girl in America who has her own “empowering” podcast. Let her try that in Afghanistan or around ISIS. This Muslim girl is able to have a podcast because she lives in a non-Islamic country.

Where are the religious police?! We can see this one’s face!

Cosmo even celebrated the creation of Hijarbie, a hijab covered Barbie doll, declaring it “OMG! FAB!” But it’s not really a hijab (scarf) that Barbie is wearing. She’s swathed in cloth, only leaving a small part of her face exposed.

Earth to Cosmo: covering up women in a prison of fabric is a form of enslavement, it’s treating women like property. The burqa is designed to make women identical, indistinguishable from one another, like cattle.

Cosmo, if you truly want to help women, cut the liberal bullshit you and your Chocolatini swilling friends spout to each other at your frou-frou parties in the Hamptons. Instead, encourage women to think for themselves, to seek out the truth, to not be taken in with PC nonsense stemming from a political agenda.

Newsflash: You aren’t empowering women when you teach them “how to sexily stroke his perineum.”