Am I a huge fan of Larry The Cable Guy? Eh, not so much. I respect the whole "Redneck Comedy" shtick — it's just not my particular brand of humor. I prefer the douche-y, cerebral comedy à la Louis CK, but hey, to each their own, right? That being said, I obviously know who Larry The Cable Guy is. I mean, who hasn't whipped out a "git-r-done" a time or two in their day?

Turns out, Larry has been lying to all of us for years. In a twisted, ill-fated turn of events, a recent video has revealed a confession from Mr. Cable Guy. His admission? He doesn't even have a freakin' SOUTHERN ACCENT. It's all been a damn persona! Can this year reaaalllllly get any worse? Are we all destined to be swallowed up by the black abyss of #fakenews? Looks like it, my friends, looks f*cking like it.

His explanation is valid — I guess. Being a linguistic chameleon, as he so eloquently put it, is actually a pretty legit talent. I myself can only pull of a mediocre British accent when I'm drunk, and that's about it. Here's my thing though, it wasn't just an accent for Larry, it was a lifestyle! I mean, he's the epitome of everything The South is, yeah? Tractors, cheap beer, making jokes about sleeping with your sister — all the jazz. No offense, those are of course stereotypes used in the name of making people laugh. No one in The South is actually like that! Just like New Yorkers aren't stuck up know-it-alls who will punch you in the face for insulting their favorite pizza joint.