All the Heroes Assembled for the ‘Avengers Infinity War’ Press Conference, But They’re Not Talking

Picture this: A large room with a giant black curtain going from side to side. On this curtain is a projection of the Avengers logo. It was quite a thing to behold. To the right is a tall podium.

Welcome to the Avengers: Infinity War Press Conference. Held last Sunday afternoon in LA at the beautiful Montage Beverly Hills, it was a day filled with anticipation.

Even though it was all press in this room, the air was fairly crackling with excitement. You’d think that after doing many of these press junkets, we’d be jaded by now. Absolutely NOT.

When the lights went down and we took our seats, the GrandMaster himself, Jeff Goldblum – whom Robert Downey Jr. called “a national treasure” – was introduced. He swaggered in, like he does, and took his place on the podium.

And then…

That curtain dropped and all of this magnificence was revealed.

Here’s a list of those assembled (<–see what I did there?), in alphabetical order:

Dave Bautista (“Drax”)

Paul Bettany (“Vision”)

Chadwick Boseman (“T’Challa / Black Panther”)

Josh Brolin (“Thanos”)

Don Cheadle (“James Rhodes / War Machine”)

Benedict Cumberbatch (“Dr Stephen Strange”)

Robert Downey Jr. (“Tony Stark / Iron Man”)

Winston Duke (“M’Baku”)

Danai Gurira (“Okoye”)

Chris Hemsworth (“Thor”)

Tom Hiddleston “Loki”)

Tom Holland (“Peter Parker / Spider-Man”)

Scarlett Johansson (“Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow”)

Pom Klementieff (“Mantis”)

Anthony Mackie (“Sam Wilson / Falcon”)

Elizabeth Olsen (“Wanda Maximoff / Scarlett Witch”)

Chris Pratt (“Peter Quill / Star-Lord”)

Mark Ruffalo (“Bruce Banner / The Hulk”)

Zoe Saldana (“Gamora”)

Sebastian Stan (“Bucky Barnes / Winter Soldier”)

Letitia Wright (“Shuri”)

Director Anthony Russo

Director Joe Russo

Producer Kevin Feige

That’s right. 21 Avengers all in the same room(!) revealed in all their glory. Be still, my über-nerdy fangirl heart.

Here was the catch, though. No one had seen the movie. Not the press and not the cast. Not only that, we were all sworn to secrecy that we were to reveal nothing.

Which made for an awkward and hilarious press conference.

For example, a question for Chris Pratt (Peter Quill / Star-Lord) : “What was it like for Star-Lord to see earthlings for the first time in 30 years?”

To which he answered: “It might be best for you to see it, so I’m going to talk about bass fishing. Okay?” And he proceeded to discuss the intricacies of choosing just the right fly lures to catch the best bass.

And so it went with each Avenger. They revealed NOTHING. Paul Bettany (Vision) even went so far as to admonish: “Snitches end up in ditches.”

Scarlett Johansson (Black Widow) bristled a little about being asked about the “fashion elements” of the film. “REALLY?” she asked, “I got the fashion question?”

“I honestly don’t know how to answer that question. I wear a leather unitard for most of this film, and I have been for the last 10 years. So if you think of any fashion elements that you would like to include, please let us know.”

Hilarity ensues.

And then they all seemed to pick up and run with the fashion joke.

Dave Bautista (Drax) was asked whether his ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ character ever manages to go toe-to-toe with Thanos. He responded with: “Aw, man, ask me about my fashion sense.”

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Tom Holland (Peter Parker / Spiderman) who gets a brand new “Iron Spider” upgrade which you see in the trailer, joked: “I didn’t actually get to wear the Iron Spider suit because it’s too amazing to exist in real life,” he began. “So I joined the wonderful Mark Ruffalo in a man-canceling costume and stood amongst these gods wearing pajamas.”

Anthony Mackie (Sam Winston / Falcon) was asked whether it gets intimidating performing along with such big names, to which he quipped, “A wise man once said that some men need an hour to make their presence felt. Some men need 30 seconds.”

Raucous laughter.

Josh Brolin (Thanos) when asked which Avenger he was impressed by, answered: “Strangely enough it only took 25 seconds for me to be impressed by Anthony Mackie.”

Robert Downey Jr. made his presence felt even though he didn’t really want to answer a question. Instead he asked, “Wait, me first. Who’s better, Black Panther or Iron Man?”

The person asking the question admitted that he preferred Black Panther, to which Robert Downey Jr. replied “… damn, me too.”

The questioning then led to whether RDJ will appear in 2019’s untitled Avengers film. He quickly consulted with Kevin Feige, who let him reveal that they’d already filmed it.

And that pretty much is how the entire delightful time with the 21 assembled Avengers went.

Full disclosure: I’ve seen the film (I know. Shut up.) but in order to obey the hashtag command, “ThanosDemandsYourSilence” I will echo the Avengers in saying, I’m not talking. Just go see this film and make up your own mind.

I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Avengers: Infinity War will be in theaters everywhere on Friday, April 27, 2018.