This isn't a slag on Nashville hockey. Lord knows those fans have been through enough, what with last year's talent defection and ownership follies with Jim Balsillie (Slogan: "He's the Ball-Silliest!"). The Predators even have one of the better stories in the Campbell Conference this season, as career journeyman goaltender Dan Ellis has nearly usurped anointed starter Chris Mason. They're like the Katie Couric and Deborah Norville of puck-stoppers.

The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the…
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Atlanta Is Too Greasy.The warm-ups beforeCarolina's 6-3 win over Atlanta were interrupted by a fire alarm caused by a grease fire in a restaurant at Philips Arena. "At first, I was like, 'This is odd warm-up music. I don't know what they're listening to,'" said Carolina's Scott Walker, who's sorta dumb, but in an endearing way. It gets weirder: In the second period, Bret Hedican dumped the puck into the Thrashers' zone, it hit referee Steve Kozari's skate and then went right into the Atlanta net. But the goal was waived off, because NHL rules state that the only time a referee can screw a team with an illegal goal is if the Sabres are playing for the Stanley Cup. Speaking of which...

* Sean Leahy offers a glimpse at the Sidney Crosby McFarlane Toys Winter Classic Action Figure. And from the looks of things, there should be a YouTube stop-motion animation featuring Crosby dancing to "Baby Got Back" or "Da' Butt" in the very near future. [Going Five Hole

* The KB's "Best NHL Hit of All-Time" tournament has had a longer running time than a Peter Jackson remake of "The English Patient." But we're in the semifinals now, where it's Dion Phaneuf on Denis Hamel vs. Brian Campbell on RJ Umberger. The Phaneuf'ing is only good because Hamel weighs under 200 pounds and goes flying; it's like The Undertaker choke-slamming the 1-2-3 Kid. Which is why I am again supporting the Umberger demolition. "WHHHHHOOOOWHAT A HIT BY CAMPBELL!" [Orland Kurtenblog]

* Don Cherry spent the day surrounded by hockey moms. "You guys are da best mums in da world! Just don't let yer kids grow up to be visor-wearin' Euro pussies, eh?" [CBC]

* Finally, there were some requests yesterday for more hockey violence. So here's Doug Gilmour taking out Mark Messier, Bob Probert throwing down with Tie Domi and Wayne Gretzky's head bleeding ... all courtesy of NHLPA '93. "I'm gonna make Wayne Gretzky's head bleed for SuperFan No. 99 over here..." See you next week.