Council saves £1m

A giant sundial that was due to be built as a major 147ft (45m) tourist landmark in Derbyshire may now be built in Dorset instead.Work on the “solar pyramid” in Derbyshire was due to begin in Spring 2008 after years of delays, but the designers have now decided to pull out.

The £1.2m structure will be powered by solar cells. Made of three polished stainless steel towers, it will cast a shadow across a 60-metre base marked out to trace both time and the rotation of the earth.
The main tower will point due south, while the other two will mark sunrise and sunset on the summer solstice. Buried beneath will be a device which emits a pulse of light to the surface every second.

“Yeah, it’s a fantastic structure but we don’t need it anymore. The council has bought all their employees a watch and a desk calendar instead,” said Doug Syphon, a spokesman who did not wish to be named.

“We reckon we’ve saved over a million pounds, and on the strength of that we all get a pay rise.
That lot in Dorset will probably take it; they’re all a bit soft down there due to the inbreeding.”

“Ee may say thart, but e ‘as no cause te!” burbled a spokesman from Dorset Council, “Moi sister and aunt says it be wrong to mock us, and she should know!”