First things first. Let me apologize if there is any weird formatting going on with WordPress. When I am writing these things, I use FUN FEATURES like bold. Or italics. And I center images in the middle of the post. And sometimes I do this cool thing where a trail of cascading stars follows the cursor as you click around.

But somewhere…in between writing and publishing…an internet gremlin literally destroys everything I had just done. Everything is just plain jane text…unaligned….hideous. So if anyone could tell me how to make this ridiculous website work, I’d be much obliged.

P.S. This whole intro was written in rainbow colors, bold, underlined, and if you unfocus your eyes a little it turns into a picture of Ted Danson milking a goat. But you couldn’t see that, now could you. Ridiculous internet.

OKKKKKKKKKKK. Onto serious business.

So last week, I interviewed Austin about his grocery passion. THIS WEEK I interviewed Stephanie about her favorite grocery things. I recommend clicking play on the embedded video and reading away…

“Hey there, Stephanie. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to sit down with me for a minute and discuss an unsung hero in the food and drink world: verjus.”

Unfortunately you can't see the detailed label that is full of lush bird imagery...

“Oh, my pleasure. Verjus is a very underlooked (which is a word I made up to combine underappreciated and overlooked into one efficient term) grocery item. It definitely needs to be placed into the public eye more often.”

“Is it possible to encapsulate such a mysterious grocery product in three simple words?”

“Definitely. I would say tart, refreshing, and squeaky (the tannins make your teeth squeak!).”

“Really? What an interesting array of words. I have to admit that I often forget that we even carry verjus because I have no idea what I would do with it. It kind of looks like some sort of old school French drink? But then it also kind of looks like some sort of light vinegar dressing? Why would you choose such an obscure product?”

“Well Verjus is super old – it’s basically as old as wine. It’s the product of squished, unripe grapes. It used to be everywhere in old cooking…people used to grind up sorrel and add it to water to make a fake version of verjus.”

“Really? That’s crazy. So it IS kind of like vinegar. What would you do with it? Put it on a salad? “

“Oh I would do so much with this stuff. I would roast a chicken in a cast iron skillet. Then I would pull the pan out, remove the chicken, and deglaze the skillet with one cup of verjus over medium-low heat. Then I would add a fistful of finely chopped leeks, reduce, and then mount with butter as a sauce for your chicken. Or! If you are a vegetarian, you could put a quick splash of it on your sauteed greens to add a little acid and bite.”

“Ohmigawd whaaaaaaaaat? YUM. I think I have a food boner for this imaginary dinner. So when you are fantasizing how you would like to immortalize verjus through imagery, what comes to mind?”

“I see a large oil painting of big busted maidens ripping the back bones out of pheasants and rabbits and dressing them in barrels of verjus.”

"When I was your age I had to drag dead rabbits uphill BOTH WAYS in the snow to get home to my verjus barrel. So quit bitching."

“Ooh la la laaaaaa. How sexxxual. I like that fantasy. It’s like something in a Mariah Carey video…except with less lycra and fewer fake eyelashes.”

“Duh. That’s kind of how I go through life.”

“So who would win in a condiment battle between Verjus and Ketchup?”

“Well, it’s tricky. Ketchup would probably win in a battle. But only because 90% of peeps out there have level 2 palates. Tops. But the chosen few know that verjus is the true champ.”

“Oh, wow. Harsh.”

“Well, you gotta tell it how it is.”

“Totes. So any last words of verjus advice?”

“Just look at the label, man. Look at that sweet label.”

“Kewl, duder. Well thanks for taking the time to talk to me today about your love of verjus. A special talk about a special cooking ingredient.”

And there’s that. I’m into this new format, so expect to see lots more done in this style. Yeah. Interviews with people about stuffs they like. And then you can come in and figure out what we’re talking about and you’ll be in the cool food club and you can come to our meetings that take place around Stephanie’s kitchen table. Although you have to bring your own little dog for your lap, because she only has three and it’s kind of hard to share….