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many kinds of.. err.. delicious?Fri, 16 Jan 2015 08:58:48 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.945658278Watch “Campbell Newman’s dumbest idea.” on YouTubehttp://polyfedelicio.us/2015/01/watch-campbell-newmans-dumbest-idea-on-youtube/
http://polyfedelicio.us/2015/01/watch-campbell-newmans-dumbest-idea-on-youtube/#respondFri, 16 Jan 2015 08:58:47 +0000http://polyfedelicio.us/?p=1409Regardless of what side you support, you really have to sit back and think about some of this stuff.

One Direction will probably be the cause of the collapse of humanity as we know it. With their devout followers that mostly consist of tweens with comb overs, these kids have never experienced deep feelings of denial that a man with a few smile lines has when he gives his hair that carefully precise comb to the side to hide the shiny patch of skin aching to expose itself to the world.

I mean, I even work with a guy with a carefully crafted full head hair helmet. He might as well wear some fruit on his head and pretend he’s a cat. I suppose at least when it comes time for a real comb over these kids will be prepared, that is if they’re able to master the comb over sans hair.

For what its worth, the only person that ever looked good with a comb over was John-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg.

I just saw a Carl Barron box set of DVDs at the shops. I want to know how you can make one joke span four DVDs?

]]>http://polyfedelicio.us/2014/11/maybe-hes-a-magician/feed/01384I have decided that my future is to breed fat children in Dubaihttp://polyfedelicio.us/2014/11/i-have-decided-that-my-future-is-to-breed-fat-children-in-dubai/
http://polyfedelicio.us/2014/11/i-have-decided-that-my-future-is-to-breed-fat-children-in-dubai/#respondWed, 19 Nov 2014 01:40:21 +0000http://polyfedelicio.us/?p=1376So according to this news article there is a competition in Dubai that for every kilogram your child loses, you get a gram of gold.

My Grandad always said I was going to come up with a great idea and become a rich man one day and I think that this here is my idea of ideas!

I think my plan of attack will be to accept donations of multiple children, I don’t think I could subject my own offspring to the fattening as I feel bad enough that Takkun is a bit of a porker at times. Once I receive a donation of a small child, I’ll feed them on a rich diet of duck fat and pork belly and the ultimate single hit of calories – the KFC double.

While I’m porking up my golden goose I’ll get them addicted to video games.. Once the competition begins I’ll rig up a big running wheel or treadmill which will power the television, I’ll put little lard arse on said treadmill and with a carefully calculated concoction of methamphetamine and laxatives I’ll have the kilos off in no time.

If I can get a kid up to 100kg and back down to 50kg again that’s 50g of gold which equates to a cool $2200 at that rate, I’ll only need 454.5 children to become a millionaire, not taking into account the cost of KFC and meth.