I just read The Toronto Star’s umpteenth investigative food report on vegan food…

Fuck this shit! *tosses papers in the air*. These pieces have become a serious thorn in my side. Making vegetarian and vegan food stand trial and obsessively challenge its nutritional value, calorie counting its fare down to the last toxic kilojoule in some futile effort to expose it as—unhealthy garbage? Really? Knowing that just about everything else out there, i.e.: fast food; frozen food; processed food; long-travelled food; GMO food; family restaurant food, etc., is all packed with seven essential shittiness? As if vegetarian and vegan food’s crime of being high calorie can be weighed on the same scale as all those other foods’ crimes of causing heart disease, high cholesterol, diverticulitis, diabetes, obesity, etc. etc. etc?

What the fuck are you going on, The Star?

'Healthy’ is equal parts eating healthy food and exercise. No one— large or small, herbivore or carnivore— can get away with eating calorie-blasted meals and not exercise and be considered healthy. But it’s never underscored or ever even mentioned by these ridiculous attack pieces how important it is to couple your eating with exercise. It’s just easier to pick apart self-proclaimed healthy food for being loaded with calories than it is to address and blame most people’s lazy and/or partying lifestyle and otherwise bad food choices. This omission and the frequency of The Star churning out theseexposurepieces makes them look like they’re naively ever in search of some myth food that’s local, healthy, organic, meatless, wheatless, sugarless, sodium-less, carb-less, calorie-less, energy-filled, yet tastes and satiates like a filet mignon and mere couch-sitting burns it all off—is it air that you’re looking for, The Star? Would you like to endorse air as a healthy food choice?

Hey, everyone? No such magical fucking food exists, okay? I’m sorry.

I doubt that by themselves, veggie and vegan food eateries and restaurants are unhealthy, or are “not as healthy as you think they are”, or veil themselves in “healthy” when really “one veggie or vegan meal has the calorie count equal to that of a size large pulled pork poutine topped on a pile of gourmet donuts so you might as well eat the poutine and donuts” —and that there exists an even better, healthier alternative. And if there’s something better out there that I’m not privy to, by all fucking means! Enlighten me and tell me I’m wrong!