THE HALF DECENT FOOTBALL MAGAZINE

Badge of the week ~ Pandan XIV, Brunei

Badge of the week ~ Pandan XIV, Brunei For a long time in the nation of Brunei, short trousers imported from the west for sporting or leisure purposes were, owing to an inconsistency of measurements between Europe and south-east Asia, significantly smaller than anticipated. The players of Pandan were not the only ones to struggle with their new kit but, instead of sending them right back to the supplier like everyone else, Pandan's first chairman instructed his players to wear them anyway.

This was just another power play by a notoriously controlling individual, who also ordered all personnel to moderate their speaking voice to the exact frequency of swarming bees. Until this man was deposed in a coup that involved ten people attacking him suddenly from behind with cups of milk, it was customary when visiting the Pandan dressing room to see several players in the position depicted in the club crest, attempting to force their shorts up their legs in any way possible. They did, however, have a good run of results for a while as the constricting shorts gave the whole team an extra zip from the coiled energy. Cameron Carter