Monday, January 23, 2012

I'm beginning to think I look like this image, at least it's how I feel. Only 1 break in the never ending highs from whatever has made Clifford sick. He finally got to 161 yesterday at bedtime only to skyrocket to 300+ at 11pm, which resulted in a correction shot while he was sleeping. Even though I said, "Clifford, I have to give you a shot", he never woke up. And I'm sure eventually if he reads this he will yell at me, but I have found that if I have to correct him in his sleep the top of his bum is the best place to give him a shot, more meat, less likely to wake up. He's up and moving around a little more today than he was yesterday but we still have bg readings of over 300. Honestly at this point as it's almost day #3 of high's like I feel like I'm failing as his pancreas. I know I'm doing the best I can with whatever illness is causing these highs but there is a small part of me that feels like I'm failing him.

It may be difficult for others who do not know a life with Diabetes to understand, but I really try as best I can to keep him within range, and when things such as this jump into the picture to throw a wrench into everything it's just nothing short of disappointing.

I am going to refer to myself as Clifford's pancreas for this portion of the post, because if you think about it, I'm technically taking over his pancreases job, since it's no longer functioning properly on its own. It's basically like a tenant taking up space, not paying rent or doing any sort of work.... Lazy pancreas.

So in reference to Clifford's pancreas (me) there are a few things that this pancreas is these last few days as well.

ExhaustedFrustratedWorriedLovingHelpfulAn over analyzerand most importantly unlike his actual pancreasDoing the best job I can!

The point to all this is that you can see from the beginning of the post diabetes has taken it's toll on us these last few days, but I'm always optimistic that we can beat this and figure out what's going on to make the changes needed. So in it all even though Diabetes is being a royal pain in the butt, it's not winning. We are!