Day’s Worst: Imaginary grenade results in real school suspension

We thought that as a state, Colorado was moving away from zero tolerance.

That certainly wouldn’t be the impression one would take away from a story out of Loveland about a second-grader who was suspended from school[1] for throwing an imaginary grenade.

Let’s be clear. The boy didn’t actually throw anything. But just thinking about it apparently was enough to get him sideways with the “absolutes” at Mary Blair Elementary School.

Alex Watkins threw a pretend grenade at an imaginary box that had something evil inside. When confronted, that’s what the boy said he was doing during recess. He threatened no one, and in his mind, he was saving the world.

Included in those absolutes are no physical abuse or fighting – real or play – and the no-weapons absolute also covers real or play weapons.

District policy does not prohibit imaginary weapons, but Superintendent Stan Scheer said individual schools are permitted to add enhancements to the general student code of conduct.

“It fell under that set of local policy they have in the building, and it was shared with all parents in the community at the beginning of the year,” Scheer said.

The story then says Scheer wouldn’t talk about disciplinary issues (didn’t he just do that?), and then goes on to say, somewhat ominously in our opinion, that there’s more to the story.

What more? First, they impugn the child’s character with veiled hints about other issues, and then they refuse to elaborate, all the while defending a policy that would suspend a kid for pretending — during recess, not class — to lob a grenade and save the world.

It hardly makes sense. Perhaps the child’s punishment should be imaginary, too.