You Went to a Funeral and then you Went Home

When I couldn’t sleep last night, I went searching for understanding by reading posts written by other grievers. This post took me back to one of the most horrific days of my life as I vividly remember walking into my home after Amy’s funeral. That feeling remains in the pit of my stomach which serves as a constant reminder that something horrible happened and someone wonderful is missing.

3 thoughts on “You Went to a Funeral and then you Went Home”

Alex

Lisa

I came across your blog because I was googling “defending your right to grieve after losing a child”
My youngest daughter died on a Sunday 8 weeks ago today. So many things you’ve said are the things I feel. The lights that katie hung around her window are still on and when I pull up to my house at night and see those lights.. I hope they never go out. But it’s just a void place now- her room. I go in and smell her clothes, touch her shoes, lay in her bad.. Sit in the spot I found her in, that Sunday morning. I miss her so much. Even knowing the ending id always pick her as mine.
I cried reading your blog, I know how you feel- from the broken friendships and nonexistent support system.. I know.
Thank you for being here. But I am so sorry you have to be.

Dear Lisa, I couldn’t sleep and noticed your message as soon as it came in. Oh, I am so sorry for the loss of your youngest child, Katie. Eight weeks. My heart breaks for you. Sunday mornings will never ever be the same for either of us. Your pain is so relatable. I am here if you need a friend along the way. Please let me know how you are doing. dee.incollingo@gmail.com. And yes, even knowing how it all would end, I remain grateful for every minute I had with my sweet Amy. Love never ever dies. No death can take that away from you. The love between you and Katie continues. Just not in the way we desperately need — I will always want the it to be the way other parents get to love and be with their children. My deepest, deepest sympathy.

Dying is a lonely journey. Not only for the sick person but also for the family. As hard as we may try to avoid death, the truth is that we do a lousy job of it. Science and medicine will certainly postpone it, even staying healthy might seem to delay it, but the harsh reality is that death does not wait for you, it does not ask you, and it does not listen to you. Death ignores your feelings and wants; you do not matter to death…Death is the only certainty in life! We need to remember that our existence here is fragile, and we never have as much time with people as we think we do. If there is someone or someones out there that you love, don’t neglect that and don’t put off engaging with them because waits for no-one... Vic's Journey ended on 18 January 2013 at 10:35. She was the most courageous person in the world and has inspired thousands of people all over the world. Vic's two boys are monuments of her existence. She was an amazing mother, daughter, sister and friend. I will miss you today, tomorrow and forever my Angle Child.

Dying is a lonely journey. Not only for the sick person but also for the family. As hard as we may try to avoid death, the truth is that we do a lousy job of it. Science and medicine will certainly postpone it, even staying healthy might seem to delay it, but the harsh reality is that death does not wait for you, it does not ask you, and it does not listen to you. Death ignores your feelings and wants; you do not matter to death…Death is the only certainty in life! We need to remember that our existence here is fragile, and we never have as much time with people as we think we do. If there is someone or someones out there that you love, don’t neglect that and don’t put off engaging with them because waits for no-one... Vic's Journey ended on 18 January 2013 at 10:35. She was the most courageous person in the world and has inspired thousands of people all over the world. Vic's two boys are monuments of her existence. She was an amazing mother, daughter, sister and friend. I will miss you today, tomorrow and forever my Angle Child.