M.O.M.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Please Don't Call Me MILF

Words; you can say just one or
string thousands together and create worlds, poetry, or lyrics. But we've
taken words for granted. We shorten them, we group them together, we
change their meanings and we throw them at each other like weapons. And
because we abuse them so much, when we hear them we're sometimes
confused. A compliment used to be; you are so lovely, funny and friendly.
Now we are so starved of words well-spoken that we use sexy, sarcastic and
bitchy and think them compliments.

Words have meaning; they aren't
just sounds and syllables.If that were
the case we'd have no use for them. They have a purpose and we continue
to use them incorrectly. Now mind you, I'm not talking about
grammar or punctuation. Heaven knows by the end of this decade we'll
change the rules to suit our needs. No, what I'm talking about is the use
of words and how we no longer give them a purpose. And without purpose
there's just confusion.

A friend
and I were talking about the acronym MILF the other day. I read it a lot,
hear it even more and no matter how many times I do I still say the words out
in my head. I always shiver a bit at the end. I mean, I get the
point of it. Somewhere someone thought of it as a compliment or somehow
flattering, but when did simply saying she’s attractive lose its meaning? And
how am I supposed to react to the term either when spoken to me or to others? I know many
will say I'm taking it too seriously, but surely I'm not alone in this thought
process. The term, if you are unfamiliar with it, means a mother the person would like to have sex with. So the acronym is in fact an invitation for sex or if the speaker didn't mean it... a lie. So what's the point?

As a woman and a mom I want to be recognized for so much more. Like
my natural ability to organized a small space. Tell
me how well executed my 27" RV kitchen, dining and bathroom layout worked or my children are well behaved. (What?! It happens.) ;) But
don't tell me you'd have sex with me. Cause let's face it, now a days peoples
standards are pretty low in that area. And with 3 kids running around me I'm not in need of your services.

Now,
it's not as though I've ever been offended by the term. But I've also
never felt it was a compliment. I
do enjoy it when someone points out something they might like, but in truth
most of those things I have no control over... eye color, mouth shape,
etc. But tell me I'm funny, or smart (don't laugh) or a great friend and
I'm a happy girl.And
women, don't discount your husband's complements, yet take to heart those of
strangers. I may be the worst at this. Matter of fact I'm pretty
sure I am. Mine tells me often that I'm attractive, and finds me
sexy. He's the only man on earth who has seen me naked after 3 kids and
70lbs. His should be the compliments that matter the most, but I'm just as vain
as the next person and wish for more. I
desperately want to change that about myself. I
think wanting to live up to the world's standards of attractiveness have made
us less so. We strive for the approval of others, even if it means losing
ourselves in the process. At my lowest weight, when I felt the best I
still didn't fit the status quo. The charts said I could lose another 15
to 20lbs. Because of that I wasn't satisfied. I wanted more.
And in the process became depressed at failing and then the weight started
coming on. The ugly spiral of wanting what the world wants and getting
lost in the void it creates in us.

Please
don't call me a MILF and think twice before calling others that. I will
celebrate my 20th anniversary this year. The only man I want desiring me
in that way is my husband. Your 'compliment' will only fall on deaf ears.
And be warned, if you say the word in front of my children know that I will ask that
you explain it to them. I will watch as your cheeks flare up in embarrassment at
having to tell a 3-year old that you just insulted their mother.

6 comments:

Nice post! I agree that that is one thing I'm not sure I like. There are so many forms of it too! I mean really! How is that a compliment...especially when it's thrown around like it is...I would much rather someone tell me I'm attractive!