Self-care is the new buzzword. If we just buy enough miracle skin creams, go the gym, be fit, do yoga, get manis, pedis, massages, and visit the salon on the regular, we will be happy, well-adjusted, and productive adults right?

Wrong. Listen, I don’t have to tell you that adulting is hard. Sometimes making time to do all of the above can just leave us more exhausted than when we started.

Self-care is NOT self-love and as your resident female empowerer, I have some ideas on how to love yourself a little more:

Practice Gratitude: Appreciate your legs, cellulite and all. They carry you through each and every day. Appreciate your arms for the same reason. Accept that although your smile may bring out your crows feet, it also lifts your cheeks and makes you look younger.

Forgive Yourself: Negative self-talk is almost second nature for most of us. Notice your reactions to stress and take accountability. In other words, if you’re feeling bitchy, what’s the root cause? Then take action to remedy the bitchiness.

Wear It! Wearing clothes (lingerie included!) that makes us feel good gives us confidence. It’s self-expression. We can express moods and persona with our outfits.

Wear all the hats! We have many roles: boss, co-worker, mom, friend, wife, girlfriend etc. These roles don’t operate independently of each other. Being a mom, for example, doesn’t mean you stop being a sensual being. So don’t accept the little box that society wants to put you into. We can drive ourselves crazy with societal norms and expectations.

Shameless Plug: Of course, a boudoir session can help you appreciate yourself. I’d love to help you change the way you see yourself.