Friday, December 16, 2011

Happy Birthday!

I didn't hear you as I sat with my back against the painted walls of the
shrine. The men played their music, different pitches intermixing,
different voices creating absolute, sublime magic, their music divine. I remained numb to it
all, numb to your presence, even when you perhaps called out to me
constantly, asking for my love, asking for life.

The words filled my ears, echoed in my soul, yet I remained
indifferent. I had to make a choice that day and I didn't know how. I
always believed in Him, but my faith was already wavering. The soothing
words, the smiling faces, the beautiful red roses strewn all around,
they all spoke to me, all asked me to listen to your calls; I remained
deaf, didn't hear anything. The void within was shallow, and it didn't
allow me to hear anything, to feel anything.

I walked around looking for a sign, looking for your guidance,
looking for an answer. It was all around me to see, but I remained
blind, never saw anything. I saw a young woman playing with her young
kids, yet I missed out on their smiles, and their laughter. I saw grown
ups with their old parents, yet I missed out on the love between them. I
looked past them all, and I made my choice.

Hours later as I woke up alone in the cold hospital room, I felt an acute
emptiness within. It was your absence that made me realise how
your presence had become inseparable from my existence. As tears
flooded out, I was blinded by your thoughts, and my love for you.

Thanks everyone for such great feedback. Its was a story I was attempting to write for a while, and to be frank its still developing...yet had to write something and take it out of my head for a while...

I found your blog through instagram today and m reading it since past 2-3 hrs...was alrdy a big fan of your photography and now a big fan of your blog too! There's still a lot left to explore here..but js loved this one.very touching!!