Subscrever este blogue

Segue-nos por email!

Diary of a Broken Friendship [ENG]

I spent all days in my bedroom looking at the window or in the computer playing some stuff or talking with some people… Yeah I know, boring life… But I’m used to it. Well, I’m turning back what I used to be before I meet my best friend. Since I’ve met him, my life changed a lot. I finally saw what people call light. I finally started to see that I had so many people that like me the way I am and I start to give them attention and was epic to see how many friends I had and I couldn’t see. After last night conversation, a bad one, almost a fight, I decided to go for a walk. Was tired of my bedroom already, and, for my surprise it wasn’t raining. It was like the rain stopped for me to go out [yes, finally something good happened!].

I took my Nintendo 3ds and let’s go on an adventure! Let’s go to my favorite place outside, the garden outside my house. It’s so big and as so many different flowers that I lose myself in my imagination. After arrive there, I lay down in the middle of the garden and started watching the sky. Another surprise was that, the clouds vanish for some time and I could see the starts. Such a beautiful sky tonight.

But, now that I look well to the sky...

I saw a shining light...

It remembered me your smile... In that moment... I smiled. I didn't smiled for ages and seeing that star, good memories came up. I really like you... You are a very important friend to me, but...

Now? I lost you forever.

In that moment, it started to rain, like the sky was crying about this... About the bond that was destroyed... But it was only your side... Because in my side... You continue to shine. You can't undone what you've done to me. You can say fuck off many times... You can say, go away... You can say forget me... But all that words for me are in vain... I will not go away... I will not forget... I will fight till the very end... When that end is? I don't know... Maybe tomorrow or maybe in a few years... Or maybe, when I die. The rain intensifies but I don't care... The rain washes my soul... The soul of the ones that will never give up... The ones that try to fight for their happiness and for the people they love.

But, the reason I fight now is, that I will take all of that hate you say that you have and save you from that path... going on and on. Am I a retard for that? Maybe, but even if you ignore me, at least you can change for other people and for that I will be happy. Hate is born to protect the people we love. Do you like me then? Are you afraid of being my friend? It's that why you cannot answer me?
I will be here waiting till I can... crying all alone.

After an hour of silence and tears, I finally put myself up and return home, to the same place, doing the same stuff again. What a boring life… And without you to play… Or talk, I feel empty, I fell that I piece of me just vanish. Suddenly, my phone rings and I pick up.

- “Hello? Who is it?”

- “Hmm. I see that you picked the phone.”

I got paralyzed… I couldn’t believe who was calling me… I didn’t have words to answer him. I just froze.

- “Are you there? Just talk!”

…And once again, tears start and at same time I laugh. It was him, my best friend was calling me… I thought he didn’t want to see me anymore… And suddenly I receive a call? I can contain my happiness but soon I started to cry.

- “Are you there?” - I asked.

- “Yes, finally you gain courage to talk. I just called you to say that if you try to contact me in any way, I will hate you forever. And I will start to take action. There is no way that you can re-gain my friendship again, so stop chase me… pi-pi-pi.”

The call go off, and my happiness transformed into a big ocean of sadness… I couldn’t move, I couldn’t cry… I just stood there, like I got frozen… My emotional part was completely destroyed. I thought I was dreaming, I thought I was on a trip on my dreams but this is so real that I barely could fell anything else except pain and a big hole on my heart.

Did I lost you forever? So you hate me that much? What I have done to deserve this… After 15 mins of standing still, I laid down and start crying so hard… My tears of joy became tears of pure suffering… And together, the tears done a giant river carrying on my sadness and my emptiness. So, am I dreaming or this is too much painful?

I can’t take it any longer… I need to talk to him personally…

I will find a way to get him on person and tell him what I feel, face to face, without anyone getting in the way. I have a little hope that we can fix this broken bond. That I can realize the trip of my dreams.