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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I don't mean to brag, but I'm pretty much an expert on the German language. Yep. Two point five years of public high school German right heeere, playah! In fact, I would be saying all this "aufDeutsch," but I don't want to dazzle y'all with my linguistic...um...awesomeness.

Anyway, I mention this because today's Wreck is so hilariously horrendous that I may have to lapse into German to adequately describe it.

Note from john: Since I don't sprecht Deutsch, I don't know what half of you are saying. Please, no clever Germanic cussing. There's probably at least one German kid that reads this blog. Dunker Shane.

Largely mismatching flying Fekalie cakes! Pocket calculator!! Where is the Toiletin? Fahrvergnugen? I am a citizen of Berlin! Fast! Fast!

HAHAHAhahaah! That's hysterical! The only German I know are a few swear words my grandma taught me and all the words to "Silent Night." We had to learn that in the fourth grade, I had a massive asthma attack the night of the performance and never got to go, and I STILL know the dang words!

No matter what, your blog is wonderful. I've been telling everyone I know about it, and I enjoy reading and laughing about Cake Wrecks!

As a German major, I whole-heartedly love your German. AND when I read this cake I read, "Germany, hear me come" which I thought was cute because if you put a shell up to your ear you hear the ocean. But once I read what it was supposed to say, but didn't, I started saying things like 'blöde Kuh' (stupid cow) to my computer.

History lesson time: "Ich bin ein Berliner" is a famous line spoken by JFK when he spoke in Berlin. Why is it famous? Because it DOESN'T translate to "I'm a Berliner." It translates to "I am a jelly doughnut." The proper translation for "I'm a Berliner/Citizen of Berlin" is "Ich bin Berliner."

FYI - the other tags are sort of translated as: "large improper flying Fekalie-Cake" (not sure what Fekalie was)"Where is the toilet?"and of course, "Fast, fast!"(Farhvergnugen is gibberish.)

"Germany, hear me come" makes sense if were said by an unrepentant practitioner of noisy sex while on vactation in Europe. I don't know why you would write it on a cake, though.

Just in case there's anyone in the world who hasn't heard this story: "Ich bin ein Berliner" (yes, "I am a citizen of Berlin") was John F. Kennedy's famous applause line when he spoke in West Berlin. Since then, it has become a popular joke, though, because "Ich bin ein Berliner" could also be translated as "I am a jelly-filled pastry."

Right, I went the whole wrong direction with this. I mis-read the cake to say "Germany Hear me Come." Which, then, led to amusement thinking of what Jen's comments to a cake about someone warning a whole country of their sexual activity made me smile a WHOLE lot.

Actually it's Toilette, Toiletin doesn't exist in German, or more basic Klo (=loo). And Fäkalie is not really in use in spoken German. And I really enjoy your blog everyday. Here in Germany we don't have such a tradition in decorated cakes :-)

can i guess that the fekalie is suppose to be fecal? which makes the where is the toilet make more sense. but i'm a little lost as to the pocket computer or calculator... and i swear i've heard fahrvergnugen somewhere before.

Well, as a German (from Berlin, yeah!) living in the french-speaking part of SwitzerIand, I know what it's like to struggle with a language ;-)

And I love your blog, Jen, it's a good start into the afternoon ;-)

But this cake is very confusing. We do have nice beaches in Germany, but why the hell do I see a burned peacock in the middle of this cake? (just tilt your head to the left a bit - see?).

And "Germany hear me come" - well... *shakehead*

BTW: Berliner (like a doughnut without the hole) are called "Pfannkuchen" (pancakes) in Berlin. We people from Berlin don't really like eating ourselves, hehe, unlike people from Hamburg, who are called Hamburger ;-).

I'm doing my master's thesis on the foreign relations of JFK, and Charles's incorrect "history lesson" is making it hard for me to not smash my keyboard right now.

Berliner can be used to refer to citizens of Berlin, but also a type of jelly filled donut. Kennedy obviously meant to say that he was a citizen of Berlin to show solidarity with the city, but someone found it funnier to to imply that Kennedy was saying he was a jelly donut. Just because something is widely believed doesn't mean it's actually true!

History lesson time: "Ich bin ein Berliner" is a famous line spoken by JFK when he spoke in Berlin. Why is it famous? Because it DOESN'T translate to "I'm a Berliner." It translates to "I am a jelly doughnut." The proper translation for "I'm a Berliner/Citizen of Berlin" is "Ich bin Berliner."

Actually, that's an urban legend. The people of Berlin do call themselves "Berliners". Jelly doughnuts may be called "Berliners" in other parts of Germany, but in Berlin itself, they're called pfannkuchen (pancakes). That's why they burst into cheers instead of laughter; JFK said it correctly.

This makes me laugh, simply because it reminds me of an Eddie Izzard comedy show where he mocks J.F.K for saying "Ich bein ein Berliner!" which is actually saying "I am a donut!" (As, apparently, Berliner is the name of a donut there...don't quote ME though, I've never been, and don't speak a word of it!) Anyway, Izzard is genius, and you should check out that bit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GaDAjHKYC4 (there's the you tube link, you should edit your post to show that! It's brilliant! )

"Ich bin ein Berliner" does *not* mean "I am a donut", or anything of the sort. It's not conventional German grammar to use an article in such a case, but no native German speaker would be confused by the statement.

It's exactly like someone saying, in English, "I am firefighter" instead of "I am a firefighter". It sounds odd to a native speaker, but the meaning is clear.

My German is a trifle scanty (the closest I came to taking it in school was when my French teacher told me I spoke French like a German), but I think I got the gist of this one.Years ago I got excited at the Volkswagon ads promising me Fahrvergnügen. Then I found out it wasn't the name of the car and lost interest.

Guys, guys, you're losing focus here. The most important thing about this whole Berliner-affaire is that Berliners are DELICIOUS and should be enjoyed all over the world.And as a German, it is my duty to inform you that this is absolutely hilarious. Because some of us do have humor.

As everyone knows, Germans are very... well... let's say "proper"... *cough* narrow-minded *cough*, so I just wanted to point out:

""History lesson time: "Ich bin ein Berliner" is a famous line spoken by JFK when he spoke in Berlin. Why is it famous? Because it DOESN'T translate to "I'm a Berliner." It translates to "I am a jelly doughnut." The proper translation for "I'm a Berliner/Citizen of Berlin" is "Ich bin Berliner."""

Yes, well. The Germans who got to hear his speech were overwhelmed nevertheless.

""FYI - the other tags are sort of translated as:"large improper flying Fekalie-Cake" (not sure what Fekalie was)"Where is the toilet?"and of course, "Fast, fast!"(Farhvergnugen is gibberish.)""

"Fekalie" should be spelled "Fäkalie" - it means "feces".

"Fahrvergnügen" is not gibberish, by the way. It means "joy of driving" - though I'm not sure if it translates well. In English it sounds rather awkward.

This has NOTHING to do with the post but my oldest saw the page while I was reading and she says "Look, it's carrots and babies!" Then she proceeded to do a little dance while singing over and over "carrots and babies!"

Not to diss the blog or anything, but is anyone else just a wee tad tired of the all brown icing = poop thing? To me the center of the cake looks more like carpet after the Christmas tree has been removed.

Well, yes, but no, but . . . I think JFK was presciently channeling Eddie Izzard, because you know, you can't ever have enough Berliners. By the way that means a jelly-filled donut, did you know? And I think maybe me was supposed to be we? Schnell, schnell, out of the toiletin, I must a flying Fekalie cake make!

wv: pocusAt least this Kuchen is better than a pocus in the eye with a sharp Sticken.

But, since most Germans usually omit the article ("ein") in a sentence of this type, it sounded to some people like JFK was saying, "I am a filled pastry" (another meaning of "Berliner"). However, I'm told that in some German dialects it would be usual to say, "Ich bin ein (Berliner, Amerikaner, Hamburger, etc.)." It's not ungrammatical to say "Ich bin ein Berliner," it's just a little unusual, at least in Berlin.

People who were present for Kennedy's speech say that the crowd was not confused about what he meant, and nobody laughed at the time. Probably, they were impressed that a U.S. President would speak German at all, especially since this was only a few years after World War II.

As an expat now living in Germany and desperately trying to stuff Deutsch into my head, today's entry was really fun because my German is BARELY conversational. And some of the words get twisted in my head (ask me about the time I mixed up "people" and "spoons"...). I couldn't figure out what the relation between the cake and the Taschenrechner was.

I can speak and understand a few words of German, and managed not to be mistaken for a jelly-filled pastry when I visited Berlin, but I've been told that when I sing in German, it comes out sounding like Klingon. Consequently, I try to avoid singing in German (which can be tricky, because I sing opera and I love Mozart).

On another note entirely, I gotta say, if the person saying "Germany hear me come!" is in an English speaking country, whether Britain, the USA, or someplace else, and she's sending this kind of warning, then I'LL HAVE WHATEVER SHE'S HAVING, as the saying goes...sounds raher powerful. :-D Lily

The line was written for Kennedy by his interpreter Robert Lochner. Lochner grew up in Berlin, and is EXTREMELY unlikely to have made the mistake of instructing the president to say "I am a Jelly Doughnut". In the speech the crowd cheers at this point, most likely because they were his first and only words in German.

"Berliner" are indeed called "Pfannkuchen" Pan Cakes (deep fried cakes) in Berlin but Berliner outside of Berlin. Just like the infamous contradiction that a Frankfurter is called a Frankfurter in Vienna (Wien) but a Wiener in Frankfurt. Regional food terms are much greater in Europe than they are in the US.

As for the rest of Jen's German I think it's fantastic!Spelling aside though, you've all missed a few interesting issues.

1) Her flying Fekalie-Kuchen should never have been hyphenated. There's not need for it in German. Fekaliekuchen is how it would be written. And here her 2 1/2 years of German show their shortcomings. :-) The creation of compound words is covered in the first weeks of German.

2) Wo IST die Toiletin? She's either asked us "Where is the toilets?" but I'm willing to offer that she's actually looking for the ladies room. As adding "in" to the end of an occupation or action noun creates the feminine version of it, Toilette -> becomes Toilettin. Not that such a word exists, but she's already created Fekaliekuchen, I'll give her credit for yet another word.

3) Fahrvergnügen? Definitely a word. It was created by Volkswagen for their ad campaign. It now appears in more than one dictionary.

Thanks, Jen. This is one of my favorite cakes. And I'd give you an A for effort on your German. :-)

I think Waterbaby Christine summed it all up quite nicely, so as yet another of your German readers all that's left for me to do is to say: Germany does indeed and in fact and FYI have a coastline. Two, in fact, one on the North Sea, one on the Baltic Sea.Ah, felt so good to get that out of my system (German AND a teacher, hellish combination)......And I'm still straining my ears, but I can't hear anything! ;)

It's really rather ironic, but after reading your German - erm - skillz, I remembered that the only phrase in German I know is "Where is my cake?" :D quite appropriate, I'd say. And it was probably what whoever ordered this cake said when they went to pick it up.

Was I the only one to find my mind in the gutter and see "hear me come"? :| And, yes, I know this is a family friendly blog and any kid who gets that should beat their parents for not protecting their tender, innocent, impressionable, young minds *nods sagely*

I've been reading your blog almost since the beginning (I think I caught it when the archives were only a page deep). And as far as sheer depth of wittiness of post, I nominate this for a spot in the top 3. The other would be the Princess Bride references post--delectable, that one, even if the cakes weren't. And I don't really know which one would be the third; there would be so many contenders!

Poop cake translated into German! A masterpiece, especially on THIS cake!

Even funnier: the captcha for this post was also a German word (I speak German). Did you guys do that on purpose, or is it just me who gets to have some fun?

Gary, saying "Ich bin ein Berliner" might not be ungrammatical, it is still highly unusual. There might be some dialects where the indefinite article is used in this case but most of us wouldn't do so.

By the way, a Berliner (jelly filled pastry) is called Pfannkuchen in Berlin. Whereas they call Pfannkuchen (pancakes) Eierkuchen (translating into "eggcakes"). Talk about strange dialects.

I guess I'll be dreaming about "Gross unpassend fliegend Fekalie-Kuchen!" tonight. If I can just figure out what those are.Oh - and I love "die Toiletin". I guess that would be a female toilet? Lovely idea. I really hope it's pink!

Didn't read all the comments (hey, I'm at work!), but you do know that "ich bin ein Berliner" means "I'm a jelly donut," not "I am a citizen of Berlin." To make the latter statement, you must say "ich bin Berliner!" That was JFK's phoh-pah (!). His phlonquais didn't speak the language, obviously1

Okay, a friend sent me this blog to read, and I have been going back to the beginning to see each and every awful cake because I have seldom laughed so much. I'm a professional proofreader (promise not to read your blog for that reason!), and whenever a colleague has a birthday, we have an awful time conveying the concept of "Happy birthday, [name]" WITH the comma. But that is a minor infraction compared to the wonderful eyesores you have shown here. Sadly, as a frosting-aholic, I would indeed eat most of them. Most. Thanks for the nonstop laughter, Jen:)

Anyone else ready to jump off a cliff if they read ONE MORE explanation of "jelly donut vs. Berlin resident?" ARGH!!

BTW, John and Jen, I would look at people in your life that you have recently ticked off to figure out if you know "monanotlisa" personally! That rant of hers/his sounded awfully familiar (i.e. from someone who knows you...) to be just from a casual reader. Glad you addressed her/his comments so well!!

Another German here:Fekalie-Kuchen I think really nice. Actually it is Faekaliekuchen (we have that nice "a" with two dots on top of it which is the shortcut for ae) and it simply means Cake of Sh*t. Wonderfully appropriate in this case! Which is to show how good Jen's teacher was. Really! ;o)

Seashells? Of course! We have, in fact, two coasts: One on the side of the Northern Sea - the other on the coast of the Baltic Sea. Although I think we are far more famous for sauerkraut, lederhosen, eisbein, blasmusik and oktoberfest. Sadly so

Apparently this Berliner thing is really difficult, even for native speakers.

At least native speakers instinctively know that the phrase doesn't express anything about donuts, and they also sense that the grammar isn't wrong. Nevertheless "I'm a citizen of Berlin" would be "Ich bin Berliner" - no "ein" in the sentence. But Kennedy was still right. He wanted to express that he was on the side of the citizens of Berlin, that he was a Berlin supporter. And in this case the "ein" is not only correct, it's required.

I know I won't convince many people - the myth is just too strong, but I console myself with being right. :-)

I also just checked and found wikipedia agrees with me (good job wikipedians). So you can have a look there if you like.

ha! I love this post simply because from my 2 years of german the only thing I remember how to say is "du bist ein Milchmix, Ich bin der taschen rechner" (you are a milkshake, I am a pocket calculator) and you said taschen rechner. heh heh

LOVE this! German was my foreign language all through high school and into college. Thanks for that great laugh! And glad to see others bring up the "I'm a jelly donut" translation, as well...I love that story. I'm living in Japan and love all the Engrish here...what would one call things lost in translation from English to German? Deutschish?

Sehr sehr wunderbar. Sorry to burst your intense bubble of insane German skillz, but it's "Wo sind die Toiletten?" Oh, they joys of German heritage. Also, the difference is the "ein" in front of Berliner. It defines whether you are a pastry or a native of Berlin.

Jen and John: I am reminded of a line from "Iron Man", when Pepper Potts comes in to tell Stark's reporter "friend" that it was time to leave. I quote: "I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires. Including occasionally taking out the trash."

Monanotlisa: Please find the door you came in, and go back out again.

Jen: Hilarious post, as usual! In our house, we just try to avoid waking the kids!! Never thought to warn another country!

Homonyms are less pesky for cakes, as they are spelt the same way so no one will notice. The cake decorator might be confused, but thankfully no one else will be.

Meanwhile, only one anonymous comment out of 142 comments pointed this out? I was expecting an avalanche of corrections of EPCOT proportions. Where are my fellow pedants? Why aren't they rushing to the defence of the humble homophone?

What a coincidence! I just posted 22 awesome German insults on my blog today. Unfortunately, cake wrecker is not among them, though I may have to add it. Hamster-freer and Garden-gnome-putter-upper are on there though :]

It's funny how many people think they actually know German even if they don't. Well, JFK's "Ich bin ein Berliner" can mean both definitions. BUT the real meaning gets clear by the context AND the intonation. And to those of you who claim only one way of expressing citizenship, let me tell you that there are MANY MANY dialects in German (you can hear a difference within only a couple of miles). So putting an "ein" into your sentence is totally fine where I am from. Maybe not where you are from. But that is fine and I would never say it is wrong to call a jelly-dougnut a "Pfannkuchen" or "Krapfen" even if this is not how I would call it. So PLEASE, stop talking about doughnuts and JFK in one sentence. I know I sound way too German here (I don't intend to be one of those stiff, cold Germans) but ever since I started studying languages I get annoyed by this kind of comments...

I was told by one instructor, herself a Berliner (oder, Berlinerin?), that the folks listening to JFK laughed because he inserted the "ein" when he didn't need to, that what truly endeared him to them was that he was TRYING to speak German and to express solidarity of a "citizen of the world" sort, but the slight grammatical error combined with a delight at the effort on his part were what produced the laughter.

Horribly enough, that is 100% correct cursive. Most of us alter out cursive to look better. Look hard and you can see the W. Most letters start with the writing instrument on the bottom line and returns there between characters.

hey there listen up, a german reader speaking! :D(well actually Austrian, but you never get the difference...)

"Fahrvergnugen" is not gibberish (read that somewhere in the first 100 comments, didnt go through the rest - yet! haha!)"Fahrvergnugen" would directly translate to "driving pleasure" ;)there you have itnow it all makes sense

and yes, JFK was a donut for saying that. so? still made for the coolest character in CloneHigh :D

Jen, I got so excited when I saw the post title and cake- I thought perhaps you were doing a second "World Tour" (for the paperback edition?) and you were announcing your first stop would be Germany! You really should think about coming to visit your Deutschland fans soon ;)

okay so i am from germany " big inappropriate flying excrement cake. calculator. where is the toilet? driving pleasure? I am a citizen of Berlin. fast. fast"still not making too much sense plus a lot of things are spellt wrong.

Funny how you've sparked such controversy with your witty remarks. It's too bad that the whole Berliner thing overshadowed the wreckiness of this cake and your clever wit. I get you Jen. This post was one of the best... comments aside.

Another German here. One thing though, there are no sea shells, that's a plate with a sea shell pattern/motiv. Just saying, you know us German's have to have alles in Ordnung.I enjoy your blog, it's really funny and your comments are hilarious, even the discombobulated German one.Anyone not finding it funny, doesn't get your refined sense of humour, shame on them.Caroline

I am trying to find a way to share this post with my students, but your site is blocked by my school's internet filter!

Now of course, "Ich bin ein Berliner" means "I am a jelly donut". JFK should have said "Ich bin Berliner" to say he was a citizen of Berlin. But I am sure as a public school German alumna you already knew that! ; )

Sehr lustig, Jen! I'm not fluent in German by any stretch of the imagination but I must tell you (Entschuldigen Sie, bitte, for correcting) that the WC in Deutschland is spelled Toilette (plural: Toiletten). Aber.... I enjoy your blog tremendously and recommend it to all my Freunde! Please visit mine at www.lisbetheng.com. It's called "World War II...with a German accent." Not NEARLY as much fun as yours, as you might guess from the title!Tschuss!Lisbeth

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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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