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AReader on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153727
Sun, 16 Dec 2012 19:14:33 +0000AReader153727@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p><blockquote>Unfortunately, a woman sees the climactic moment rather differently. The image that’s lodged firmly in her mind, and refuses to go away, is of a lorry shedding its load”</blockquote></p>
<p>This was the line that made me laugh out loud. The humour "money shot" if you will...
</p>Ironduke on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153721
Sun, 16 Dec 2012 18:44:10 +0000Ironduke153721@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>great FP.<br />
Followed Ianslat's link for the Welsh fan who really put his balls on the line. Some sort of Darwin Honourable Mention?
</p>Gerontius on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153711
Sun, 16 Dec 2012 17:46:19 +0000Gerontius153711@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>That's dedication to the cause.<br />
I do hope they were oval and not round....just for his sake.<br />
Was he on horse tranquillisers?
</p>The All New Jeni B on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153708
Sun, 16 Dec 2012 17:13:46 +0000The All New Jeni B153708@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>This is my favourite line from that story...<blockquote>A local was reported as saying that the man was on medication and should not have been drinking.</p>
<p></blockquote>
</p>sigmund on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153705
Sun, 16 Dec 2012 17:05:16 +0000sigmund153705@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Mr Ian, I notice on the same page a feature about ‘the 50 sexiest women in Wales.’ After looking at some of the photos, I also feel like removing my own gonads.
</p>ianslat on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153703
Sun, 16 Dec 2012 16:34:10 +0000ianslat153703@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Could be this guy, having another go (although Wales haven't beaten anyone at rugby for a while):<br />
<a href="http://www.walesonline.co.uk/rugbynation/rugby-news/tm_objectid=15165945&amp;method=full&amp;siteid=50082&amp;headline=welsh-rugby-fan-cuts-off-own-testicles-name_page.html">Self Dissection</a>
</p>Tripod on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153678
Sun, 16 Dec 2012 11:16:19 +0000Tripod153678@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>That's my todger in the pic, post dissection. Last night, after a few beers, it seemed like a price worth paying for the FP. Not so sure now...
</p>Gerontius on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153675
Sun, 16 Dec 2012 10:59:48 +0000Gerontius153675@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Good to see your Penis made the Front Page Tripod<br />
Excellent stuff.<br />
But who had a hand in chosing the photo?<br />
A nation's eyes are still watering.<br />
Wasn't Iron Mike by any chance?
</p>Tripod on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153674
Sun, 16 Dec 2012 10:55:21 +0000Tripod153674@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p><blockquote>Nice FP, but shouldn't it have rather been a 'news in brief'? </blockquote></p>
<p>Nah... and I had a hand shandy to celebrate...
</p>Tess Goes on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153670
Sun, 16 Dec 2012 10:10:43 +0000Tess Goes153670@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Sounds like The Big Bang Theory, Dusty.<br />
God will be pleased that you're thinking outside the box.
</p>DustyBinLaden on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153666
Sun, 16 Dec 2012 09:51:54 +0000DustyBinLaden153666@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Lovely job. I'm treating my penis to a night out in town to celebrate.
</p>Idiot on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153664
Sun, 16 Dec 2012 09:22:14 +0000Idiot153664@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Nice FP, but shouldn't it have rather been a 'news in brief'?
</p>Yikes on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153470
Fri, 14 Dec 2012 21:12:38 +0000Yikes153470@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Very very good! 5*
</p>Squudge on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153468
Fri, 14 Dec 2012 20:09:48 +0000Squudge153468@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>here is a little bit of topiary for your garden</p>
<p><img src="http://assets3.pinimg.com/upload/87116574013785586_IOVCvbJF.jpg"></p>
<p>...if you get a FP, maybe this would be a pic that gets through the censors
</p>Tripod on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153467
Fri, 14 Dec 2012 19:47:56 +0000Tripod153467@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p><blockquote>Tell me more. </blockquote></p>
<p>Nothing much to add. It's cold, OK?
</p>Squudge on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153438
Fri, 14 Dec 2012 18:03:53 +0000Squudge153438@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>&lt;Critic mode&gt;</p>
<p>One simply questions the criteria of the 'design' excellence. These awards are often somewhat incestuous.</p>
<p>&lt;Squudge mode&gt;</p>
<p>Really? Tell me more.
</p>Tripod on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153435
Fri, 14 Dec 2012 17:58:19 +0000Tripod153435@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p><blockquote>Although I confess I myself have never owned one, a significant proportion of the penises I have encountered have been more 'fun' than 'functional', and as for the aesthetics of the thing...</blockquote></p>
<p>More fun than functional? So what's the beef?</p>
<p>I'm far too modest to point out that my todger is a little beauty...
</p>malgor on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153433
Fri, 14 Dec 2012 17:48:08 +0000malgor153433@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p><blockquote>...his mind “was on other things” when he created the scrotum, and that, given his time over again, he would have put the testicles inside the body, out of harm's way.</blockquote></p>
<p><a href="http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2007/01/10/external-testicles-proves-unintelligent-design/"><strong>previously explored here</strong></a>
</p>Squudge on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153428
Fri, 14 Dec 2012 17:30:46 +0000Squudge153428@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Response from a Critic:</p>
<p>Frankly God should be a little embarrassed to accept the award.</p>
<p>Although I confess I myself have never owned one, a significant proportion of the penises I have encountered have been more 'fun' than 'functional', and as for the aesthetics of the thing...</p>
<p>Well really, when did you last see one that you would be happy to point out to your parents/colleagues/children and cry "look at that one, what a beauty!" ...no?</p>
<p>I rest my case.
</p>Tripod on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153419
Fri, 14 Dec 2012 16:25:44 +0000Tripod153419@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p><blockquote>Well, that explains your name</blockquote></p>
<p>Me? Hung like a seahorse...
</p>medici2471 on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153381
Fri, 14 Dec 2012 14:32:15 +0000medici2471153381@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Well, that explains your name *****
</p>Sheepback on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153379
Fri, 14 Dec 2012 14:24:05 +0000Sheepback153379@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Very good..
</p>Dick Everyman on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153377
Fri, 14 Dec 2012 14:19:58 +0000Dick Everyman153377@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>God! Standing ovation old chap!
</p>Tripod on "Penis wins top design award..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53242#post-153374
Fri, 14 Dec 2012 14:14:40 +0000Tripod153374@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>The penis has won the highest accolade at the annual British Design Awards. Simon Cardwell, president of the Design Council, said “It’s time to recognise the penis as a design classic that’s never gone out of style”. </p>
<p>Before presenting the award to God, who still owns copyright over everything he created during the busiest week of his life, Mr Cardwell read from the citation. “The penis is a multi-purpose organ of great charm and sophistication, whether you want to take a leak, have recreational, no-strings sex or opt for the ‘big one’: reproduction. It’s pointed, when tumescent, for easy ingress into vagina, mouth or anus, but not so sharply pointed that it might make the recipient’s eyes water. At rest, the penis is soft, malleable and unobtrusive... though all it takes to prepare it for action is a glimpse of a lingerie advertisement in <em>Cosmopolitan</em>. That’s quality design, the judges felt. As plaything, waste disposal conduit and semen-delivery system, the penis is unequalled”. </p>
<p>God accepted the award with customary grace. He agreed that designing the penis was “one of the best things I ever did”, while admitting his mind “was on other things” when he created the scrotum, and that, given his time over again, he would have put the testicles <em>inside</em> the body, out of harm's way. After a standing ovation from the packed audience, God said he had initially been worried about giving the penis “a mind of its own”, and that this had caused a few problems over the years. Indeed, he was still ambivalent about anal sex, suggesting the practice was like driving the wrong way up a one-way street. "But what do <em>I</em> know?", he shrugged. However, God had no issues with masturbation. "There's a reason", he winked, "why your arms are the length they are".</p>
<p>“Opinions about the organ’s aesthetic qualities depend on whether you own one or not”, God said. “During sex a man thinks of his penis as a heat-seeking missile, armed with a thermo-nuclear warhead, that explodes in a shower of stars. Unfortunately, a woman sees the climactic moment rather differently. The image that’s lodged firmly in her mind, and refuses to go away, is of a lorry shedding its load”. </p>
<p>As he posed for the photographers, while kissing the award, God reminded the audience that the penis was just one of his many designs. “In terms of genitalia”, he concluded, “it's women who probably have the edge. To be honest, if I had a vagina, a decent pair of tits and the ability to have multiple orgasms, I’d never leave the house”...
</p>antharrison on "Deprived children raise £30m for the BBC"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51834#post-149953
Wed, 21 Nov 2012 22:30:01 +0000antharrison149953@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Went from 5th to 6th - so don't vote for yourself
</p>antharrison on "Deprived children raise £30m for the BBC"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51834#post-149952
Wed, 21 Nov 2012 22:28:46 +0000antharrison149952@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>I'm giving myself 5 stars to see if I move upwards from a poor 5th place. Just a test on the scoring algorithm rather than a boast. Cheers.
</p>Screenie on "Deprived children raise £30m for the BBC"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51834#post-149821
Wed, 21 Nov 2012 11:22:13 +0000Screenie149821@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Excellent.
</p>dvo4fun on "Deprived children raise £30m for the BBC"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51834#post-149293
Sat, 17 Nov 2012 09:50:01 +0000dvo4fun149293@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Currently assessing bids. An 'Archer' might win it
</p>Yikes on "Deprived children raise £30m for the BBC"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51834#post-149291
Sat, 17 Nov 2012 09:47:01 +0000Yikes149291@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Yes congrats on the FP, enjoyed it.</p>
<p>What will be the FP tommorow dvo??
</p>dvo4fun on "Deprived children raise £30m for the BBC"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51834#post-149289
Sat, 17 Nov 2012 09:42:26 +0000dvo4fun149289@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Terrific FP Ant
</p>