US Government To Officially Recognize GWAS As A Religious Belief

Washington DC – Barack Obama announced today that the United States of America was going to be the first country in the world to officially recognize GWAS as a religious belief.

Genome-Wide Association Studies have long been based on a belief system and the practitioners of GWAS are well-known for their loyalty and dedication to their God – the odds ratio.

Anthropologist, Dr. Amanda Lynn, told The Allium earlier today that the GWAS religion is in fact a relatively new religion, having split from its mother church – the church of latter day genetic linkages – around about the year 2005.

“Since then, several thousand people have converted to the GWAS faith and indeed the church has managed to indoctrinate many young people, most of whom were not even born before automated sequencing”, said Dr. Lynn.

“The church leaders are all looking forward to what they call “The Rapture”, which is a time when GWAS will lead to the discovery of new drug targets and everybody in the church will become billionaires”.

“However, until that day, they have dedicated themselves to humble lives and hard work in sweaty sequencing rooms, or in dumbfounded gazing at computer terminals, where one of their other Gods resides – the Linux God”.