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Friday, March 11, 2011

When you aspire to be an authentic parent, the most important thing is not the great tactics you use to live in harmony with your child, it's not the displays of affection nor is it about how many books or articles you read. In fact, the biggest thing you can do for your child, is to love yourself.
To accept yourself flaws and all. To be connected to your past, but not be determined by it.
To value and respect yourself, your strength and your weaknesses. Physical and mental. To come to terms with the errors in your past and not be withheld by them.
To know that you are worthy, and powerful and unique. That you have the power to change and to transform, but that you also have the right to be who your are.

Image: Rick

This may actually prove to be the hardest thing you will ever do.

Many of us grow up learning that we are worthless, powerless, ugly, stupid, voiceless... There may be a lot to overcome, a lot of tiny voices to silence.

Loving yourself doesn't mean you're smug or full of yourself. It doesn't mean you're egocentric. It just means that you come as you are, and that is an enormous force to bring to your child.
If you are truly in touch with who you are, what you represent, and how you were raised - with your true self, not just the mirage you are trying to keep up - parenting obstacles will become obsolete. You will strive to find that same acceptance for your child, and in turn, your child will be attracted to being his true self.
Most parenting problems are not a struggle of the parent with the child, but a struggle of the parent with himself, his need to control and his lack of resources to be connected.

Set some time aside today to find strategies for loving yourself. If you would like, you can share them in the comments below. I'll try to find the time to write some ideas down later on.

I needed to hear this today. I think this week is all about forgiveness for me; forgiving myself for being imperfect and loving myself anyways. One of the ways that I 'love myself' is blogging actually. It helps me release pent up emotions and thoughts. Taking aromatic baths help too!