Sethe has just killed her baby and attempted to kill the others. She refused to let schoolteacher take them back to Sweet Home -- a brutal (as if there is any other kind) plantation. When schoolteacher sees what she's done, he spits and calls her an animal.

Her. An animal? But not him? Her? The Black woman who refused to let her babies be branded and marked by his hatred?

It was ironic to say the least -- but awfully familiar.

Black women have been every nasty, animalistic savage beast known to man.

Then.

And now.

Michelle Obama has not been spared.

Our country recently elected Donald Trump. He said he kisses beautiful women without their permission, he has a dozen women accusing him of sexual assault and he's admitted that he just grabs women by the pussy.

That is who America elected.

Moreover, American white women elected him. The polls kept saying he had a "woman" problem. They kept saying he was struggling with women. But 53% of white women punched the ticket for Trump.

They told us all something. They said: "we don't care that he's said dangerous things about women and people of color. We just don't care."

Almost immediately, folks started reposting pictures of the new First Lady -- Melania Trump. She's posed nude. We all know that.

And almost immediately after that......the reprimands came down swift and hard by an arbitrary collective. They said we shouldn't "do that" to Melania.

We should not slut shame her.

Well. Listen.

Let me say a few things before I say the thing I want to say.

First of all, I don't believe in sluts. As in -- any woman that wants to get down with the get down is fine with me. If she's safe and it's consensual -- get it girl!

Secondly, I know nothing of Melania Trump's sexual history. I really don't care. It's not my business. And if she had slept her way to the White House I still wouldn't care. Fine.

Thirdly, taking naked pictures doesn't mean anything. It means I made a choice to do what I wanted to do with my body. Melania did the same. Fine.

But what ain't fine is folks running to defend Melania Trump when they've not 1) tried to defend Michelle Obama, and 2) have somehow grown this YUGE femininist conciousness over night.

They talm'bout "she didn't run so leave her out of it," and "slut shaming is always wrong."

Now look. Y'all can say that if you want to, but do not tell Black women SHIT about what to do with and how to handle Melania. Just don't.

Know why?

Because Michelle is ours you hear me?

OURS.

We watched Black men use Michelle for their gain "y'all need to get like the Michelle." But y'all didn't really love Michelle, y'all just loved shaming us.

So when Black men attempt "save" her from the vitriol....yeah....no!

But the worst is when MethAnn and Becky show up trying to tell folks -- Black women -- not to slut shame Melania.

I understand the concern. I do.

There was a time when I would've said the same thing. But AO -- a brilliant thinker and Black woman friend of mine -- stated it perfectly. My sympathies are reserved for Black women.

I have no sisterhood with the vast majority of white women. They proved that on Election Day!!!

Further, they've proven it over the 8 years that The Obamas have been in office.

I never saw them come to Michelle's defense so I have no interest in going to Melania's.

A friend recently asked me if there something that existed between not defending Melania and promoting "f*ck Melania" statements?

And I think that space exists for some people.

But I dare not ask Black women to carve out that space in their virtual spaces or in their psyches.

If anyone is waiting on us to come to the aide of Melania. Don't hold your breath!

For years I prayed for the young woman who would marry my son. I asked to L-RD to make her funny, beautiful, smart, healthy, fertile and able to put her foot in a good pot roast and mustard greens!

I prayed hard! I’d stand outside his door at night – smelling the stench from his very boy room – and I’d pray for all the aforementioned traits – and pray that she knew how to use febreze because LORDT this boy could stink up a space.

I’m sorry I digress.

But I prayed for her. I really did!

And because I believe G-D is a Black woman with a wicked sense of humor who loves to throw all kinds monkey wrenches in my plans – just so I can look up at Her and say , “GIRL, you play too much” – I should have known that She was going to play an epic joke on me!!!

This 53-year old mother, activist, professor, coon-buster, Black feminist and petty professional clapbacktivist did not count on G-D sending a white girl with limp hair named Rebecca.

Becky came to Christ at band camp when she was 13. She attended the same college as Coby. She really did love Jesus because she went on THREE mission trips to – Honduras, Kenya and war torn Chiraq. She graduated and found a job teaching inner city kids how to read and write the King’s English. And I even noticed that she would go to the barbershop with him – even on Saturdays!

Godly. Kind. She was well on her way to being a great mom and housewife. I could only smile at G-D’s plan, and asked for forgiveness for my presumptions about how she might or might not season food. Still my impressive wish list for Coby’s wife paled in comparison to his own: “She love Black church and Black Jesus mom. That’s enough right?” He smiled and asked, “What do you think momma?”

It wasn’t long ago that my son could be hung from a tree for “loving” Becky. He could be killed even in the present day for openly loving and marrying Becky, so I was a bit nervous.

So to the parent like me, who never ever ever ever ever ever wanted – I mean envisioned her son in a relationship with Becky, here are a few things to remember to help get you through.

Remember your theology

All ethnicities are rooted in the same continent. Remember that the beginning of all humanity is in Africa. So in this light Becky moved from a white girl with limp hair to being Adejoke with thick coily hair.

Just remember that and you won’t even see her as white. She’ll be equal to your son – because she’ll be black.

Remember to rejoice I all things

My son needed to know that I was genuinely happy for him to marry Becky! So I told him, “Son I’m so happy you chose Becky!” And I tell Becky often, “Girl. Even though you’re white, I still love you!!”

That right there – that’s rejoicing!

Remember no Christian marriage is promised a trial-free life

When we visited the First Pentacostal Holiness 7th Day Adventist Church of G-D in Christ, many of the church mothers were looking at Coby and Becky very strange. But when Becky spoke in tongues, they were ok. And when they heard Becky pray and they saw her do a holy dance they said, “Well look at that….then cued Kendrick Lamar’s ‘We gon’ be ALRIGHT!’”

Remember to be patient with family members

Listen Aunt Sister, Uncle Bubba and Lil Boochie will be rude to Becky. They will ask about her hair and if she has cats, but don’t call them out for their racism. Pray for them. Becky will be alright.

Remember your son’s ultimate loyalty is not to you or your family, but to Black Jesus

Several people asked Coby and Becky which world will they live in – “black or white?”

This is when Becky told people that since falling in love with Coby, she no longer saw race and that everyone else needed to follow her lead. Coby was learning colorblindness too and we all know that this is how Jesus ultimately wanted things.

Remember the bride’s family

Becky’s family will also be struggling. They don’t want their daughter marrying Coby anymore than you want it. So yea. Actually don’t even worry about them. You’ll both be salty and you just need to live with it!

Remember to die to your expectations

I know you grew up saying, “if she can’t use the comb, don’t bring her home!” But let that go!!! Becky is your daughter now and even though she’s white it will MOSTLY be ok.

Parents teach your sons to choose wisely. And if they bring Becky home just remember that white girls are people too and if you pray hard enough you can love them too. Just pray!

Multiple truths can exist at the same time. While some of these truths seem contradictory they still co-exist.

1. The prosecution failed to make sure that the jury understood the why of (the psychology) how/why a battered woman would stay. That should have been a key component in getting them to sympathize with Nicole. The prosecution blew it -- but OJ did it.

2. LAPD and LA CSI completely failed at securing the scene and ensuring sound data collection. This was a tremendous blow! I believe the blood evidence -- no doubt. The prosecution blew it -- but OJ did it.

3. The trial was so layered. It was a murder trial. But the defense put LAPD on trial. They put Furhman on trial. They put the racist system of American policing on trail. The defense was in control. The prosecution blew it -- but OJ did it.

4. The judicial system favors the rich. The experts. The time spent. The resources. A state funded prosecution can't compete with millions of dollars. They were outgunned. But. The prosecution blew it -- but OJ did it.

5. Mark Furhman is -- as in CURRENTLY -- a terrible person. He's a liar. He's a racist. The defense's job is to present reasonable doubt. Those tapes showed that Furhman couldn't be trusted. Why didn't the persecution vet him better?!?! The prosecution blew it -- but OJ did it.

6. The glove. It was not planted. Furhman WAS capable of that type of corruption but he didn't plant it. That glove was worn by the killer. That was a black and white piece of evidence. But. The prosecution blew it -- but OJ did it.

7. The smirk on F. Lee Bailey's face when he "made" Darden have OJ try on the glove was the most diabolical thing I've ever seen. He knew it was going to be a great failure. It was. It so was. The prosecution blew it -- but OJ did it.

8. The crime scene photos. The description of how Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman were slaughtered. The brutality of it. The anger in practically decapitating a person. The large footprints leaving the scene. OJ's blood AT the scene!!!!! The prosecution blew it -- but OJ did it.

9. Marcia Clark. Just. She just. She didn't "play well" with the Black women. Hell. Watching it, she didn't "play well" with me. Then. And now. She should have listened to the pre-trial feedback and let someone else lead. She's good. I know she is. But. The prosecution blew it -- but OJ did it.

10. Barry Scheck. A brilliant mind. Truly. I was absolutely enamored with his response to "do you believe the glove was planted," that boy was slick. Further proving. The prosecution blew it -- but OJ did it.

11. Johnnie Cochran's closing statement. He was so good. He's easy to love. His Hitler words -- oh my. I think the parallel he drew -- the correlation between power and how "the people" must act to usurp power, thus preventing another great travesty -- was brilliant. He drew me in. The jury was like chewing gum in his mouth. Light work. He won it then. But still. The prosecution blew it -- but OJ did it.

Endnotes:

1. The system is what it is. It has to be built so that the innocent have a chance to prove themselves. But please don't hear me say Orenthal is innocent. He ain't.

2. Critical Race Theory, birthed out of legal scholarship, posits that racism is interwoven into the very fabric of American society. It is our story. Period. Not our only one, but ours for sure. This trial cannot be discussed without understanding the trauma that Black America has faced at hands of the system. Racism is not just the Furhmans of the world, but it's also a systemic problem.

3. Black folks wanted OJ to be innocent. We'd seen (still see) too many of our skinfolk and kinfolk go down for things they didn't do. I get that. I still get it.

4. But y'all -- OJ ain't our kinfolk. He had ZERO interest in being black. I resent the manipulation of race on the defense's part. Like I'm genuinely angry that they toyed with such a serious matter -- because OJ was so guilty and not because he was black!!! He was guilty because he's evil AF. I don't subscribe to Mr. Goldman calling Cochran a racist -- y'all know I don't play that reverse racism mess. Cochran knew the tender place in the jury's heart and soul and psyche -- he pressed on it for the win.

5. This entire trial was circus and OJ was the ringmaster.

6. The prosecution did not do their job. They didn't prove it. The defense did their job

I had 5,000 Facebook friends before I spoke out at the Pearland ISD school board meeting. I was there to protest Dr. John Kelly's words regarding transgender bathroom access. I was eventually escorted out of the meeting by three police officer. (Scroll to 1:09:04)

I knew I'd lost friends because I got several friend requests. I went to see who disappeared. To be clear, I most definitely don't know all 5K of my Facebook friends, but I do know several of them pretty well. Pearland is a smallish town, with small town politics -- I wanted to see what "friends" unfriended me. I couldn't even find some of them because they'd completely blocked me -- all local folks who didn't want to be connected to me anymore.

I thought back to when their kid needed Mrs. Burren to tutor them in writing, or Coach B to help them get scholarship money -- THEN I was the best thing ever. And they thanked G-D for me. Publicly!

My pastor says I don't have to be petty. So pastor this is NOT a petty post.

This is a thank you post.

I'm so thankful that as I continue to find myself, refine my voice and fine tune my message that I'm increasingly found amongst like minded people. (I need to see if my therapist can help me get to the bottom of that.)

I hate letting go. I've said before that everything I've ever let go of has claw marks in it. I used to be proud of that. But really that was my own issue.

I hate goodbye. I hate that I can't be friends with everyone. I'm a classic extrovert. I like people. And I always want to make people feel like they can be exactly who they are in my presence.

But that's not always the case.

I make some people nervous.

I make some uncomfortable.

I make some embarrassed.

I make some angry.

So they walk out.

Some walked out of my social media spaces -- some put their head down when they saw me in the grocery store. Some won't let their kids hang with my kids.

But I watched a video about people walking away. Bishop TD Jakes says: