Saturday, April 30, 2011

First I should explain the theory behind chocolate biscuit cake (for those untutored in these matters): melt lots of chocolate, add in some broken digestive biscuits, leave to set. Couldn’t be simpler, really. If you’re in the US and don’t know what a digestive biscuit is, think graham cracker.

As you can see, this contains a humungous amount of chocolate. The original recipe stated that this amount would make dessert for 10-12 people. I would say that you could feed many more than that, as it is unashamedly rich. You could easily make half this amount and still keep yourself in biscuit cake for days. The other thing to say, of course, is that because this is mostly just chocolate, the quality of the chocolate really matters.

You’ll also need:
A large heatproof bowl for melting the chocolate mixture plus some kind of baking tray or dish to hold the chocolate biscuit mixture while it sets. I used a 28cm x 18cm x 3cm baking tin, which was just about big enough to hold this amount.

Preparation:
Line your dish or tray with greaseproof or parchment paper.
Break each digestive biscuit into 3 or 4 pieces.
Break all of the chocolate into very small pieces or chop finely.
Cut the butter into small pieces.
Place your heatproof bowl over a pot of hot (but not simmering) water and over a very low heat. Add the golden syrup and butter.
Once the butter has started melting, stir in the chocolate pieces and, stirring constantly, allow the whole mixture to melt together gently.
Remove from the heat as soon as the chocolate has melted. Add the biscuit pieces and stir to combine.
Fill your dish or tray with the chocolate biscuit mixture and, if you like, sprinkle with fleur de sel or other salt flakes.
Allow to set in the fridge for about 2 hours, then cut into slices of whatever size and shape you desire.

The Variations:
For some reason, I fancy adding some very finely grated or juiced fresh ginger to this.

The Results:
If you cut the slab into pieces measuring roughly 3cm x 3cm, you’ll get around 45 little chocolate biscuit cubes.

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Things I've learned from my children:

Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

Super glue is forever.

Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive Tract of a four year old.

A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire, even on an overcast day.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you Have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't Stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the Motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.