Avril Lavigne is an amazing human being

If you can read Avril Lavigne’s latest interview with Q Magazine without wanting to head butt your monitor then you’re a stronger person than I am. Because I read this thing and all I wanted to do was start head butting monitors.

On dealing with her incredible success
“Selling 24 million albums hasn’t really affected me, but it has changed things. I can’t walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads, and I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won’t get hassled. But that’s OK. I was born to do this, and so I’ve learned how to cope.”

On her competition
“Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I’m tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It’s good if you’re not easily ignored. And I’m not.”

On her generosity
“I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, ‘Take it to Katrina!’ I also like to give stuff to people who are my ‘workers,’ especially if they don’t make much money.”

On her polarizing personality
“People love me and people hate me, but I’m comfortable in my own skin and that’s what counts. And anyway if you do hate me, you’re the loser, not me.”

Wow, what an amazing person. When that “hurricane thing” happened Avril filled boxes with crap and told her assistant to “take it to Katrina.” The name of a hurricane. And she also likes to give stuff to her employees who don’t make much money. I hear they were going to give her a humanitarian award but she was disqualified because they said it wasn’t fair to the other nominees. Sometimes I get her confused with that Jesus character from the Bible because they’re so similar.

LOS ANGELES — The days of Britney Spears and her panty-free parading may finally be over, as FOXNews.com has learned that the “Crazy” crooner is contemplating a contract with a leading lingerie label.
“A pretty prominent underwear company is very interested in having Britney exclusively endorse their line,” an insider close to the pop princess told Pop Tarts.
“At this stage the deal probably won’t involve any official advertising, but she’ll be required only to wear their products, and I guess somehow she’ll have to work out a way to show those cotton coverings!”
The source added that there are few things that would need to be “ironed out” with the Britster before blanketing her booty with a brand, including formalities to forbid future flesh-flashing.
“It would look really bad if she was caught again without underpants, especially when she has a top lingerie label backing her, so they’ll want to ensure that doesn’t happen,” added the insider.
Perhaps this is another personal push for Brit to get back into the spotlight “One More Time.” The “reformed” rehabber is reportedly also working hard to drop some pounds.
It’s been a stressful time for Britney and she has gained weight,” confirmed a Britney buddy. “But now that she’s on the comeback trail, she’s determined to get back into shape. She’ll be doing a lot more dance classes and she’s given up alcohol.”
But Brit may also be getting some help from Hoodia, with a number of reports suggesting that Spears recently had a big box of the African appetite suppressants home-delivered.

She is so god-damn ridiculous. I worked at Swingo’s restaurant in Cleveland, OH, over two years ago. It was a big celebrity hangout in the 70s when bands would come to Cleveland. Swingo’s Celebrity Inn is featured in the movie Almost Famous. Anyway, Avril came to the restaurant when on tour in Cleveland a few years back and was given everything for free – food, drinks, etc. Her entourage got a bunch of free food as well. And how does she respond? The cheap bitch didn’t even leave a tip! She is a “giving” person??? My ass.

On her hair:
“Rit has decided to sponsor my European tour, and they’re trying to break into the hair products market over there with the ‘ravers and tweakers’ market. Plus, I like the fact that it draws more attention not just to me, but to my wild side, which I have carefully cultivated with my agent.”

On her dress:
“You’re probably thinking it doesn’t go with my hair, right? Right? I did that on purpose, so that they would clash, so I could get the message out to my fans and market segments that I can look tough, especially in these formal occasions that require I dress appropriately.”

More about her dress:
“My evening attire is a bit poofy. My marketing team determined that a lot of my fans are overweight and can get uncomfortable when I flaunt my taut body in public appearances. I use the colors for clashing to let them know I’m still Avril the Bad Girl, and the less revealing cut so they feel as if I’m sensitive to their self-esteem. I’ll probably give this one away to one of my assistants – I know just the one, she has a bit of a weight problem herself. She might have to tailor it for her love handles,but that’s her problem.”