Sorry, Drunkards, our fair leader seems to be missing today. Vinnie must not be taking the Casey Anthony verdict very well. Poor guy, he just loves justice.

As it is pretty common with American movie distribution, Paramount and Marvel Studios knew that some countries wouldn’t be too keen on showing a movie that has such an America-friendly title, such as Captain America. But that didn’t stop them from putting their collective foot down and flexing some muscle against the rest of the world, telling them that they have a choice – they could call it Captain America: The First Avenger, just The First Avenger, or they could plant their lips on our red, white and blue butts and kiss the movie goodbye.

And wouldn’t you know it… all of the countries were pretty much cool with Captain America: The First Avenger. However, there were three countries that decided that they would rather not support us capitalist pigs.

Interestingly, most international distributors believed the franchise name was so identifiable that not using “Captain America” in the title could risk losing ticket sales.

Spokespeople for Marvel and Paramount declined to comment on why Russia, Ukraine and South Korea opted for The First Avenger. (The Hollywood Reporter)

Russia, I can understand. They’re still bitter about that whole cold war thing. Ukraine? Eh, they’ve always been Russia’s lap dog, following them around and sniffing Moscow’s butt for favors. But South Korea? I am just shocked. Have we not always been there for you, South Korea? We make fun of Kim Jong-Il and protect you from his craziness all the time. And this is how you repay us? Next you’re going to act like you didn’t learn to appreciate breakdancing from Channing Tatum and Vin Diesel. You’ve changed, South Korea. You’ve changed.

Does anyone else want to see Casey Anthony and Amanda Knox make out? what an emotional roller coaster that would be, amirite?

07.05.11 at 4:09 pm

Fek'lhr

South Korea will be laughing out the other side of it’s horizontal poontang when the good ol’ USA decides maybe the colors North Korea wants to make them fuckers glow would look NICE for fucking 4th of July!

07.05.11 at 4:11 pm

Fek'lhr

Poor guy, he just loves justice.

Vince Mancini: For Great Justice

07.05.11 at 4:11 pm

GlennBeckHasAIDS

Channing Tatum can’t believe we have to send so many soldiers to help protect South Koreans getting their driver’s license renewed at the DMZ

07.05.11 at 4:13 pm

Fek'lhr

We better watch it, yIntaghs, the S. Koreans might get even by gouging prices at the World of Warcraft auction halls…

How many intergalactic species hated Captain America? The Klingon Empire endorsed the “gnarly motorcycles” and “guns and stuff”.

07.05.11 at 4:27 pm

Ragnarok

South Korea’s still pissed that ol’ Steve Rogers was taking a nap during their conflict.

07.05.11 at 4:31 pm

Crapbasket

Just wait until this POS comes out and then see how many countries hate it.

07.05.11 at 4:39 pm

spamwow

I am 28 weeks old spambot, intelligent and full of caring. I am come to warning you of fraudulent f’ellow spambot: she is not a really doctor. She is script g’enera’tor for generic hospital-based medical r’omance drama. The b’itchy b’lond one is killing her b’oyfriend with bad heart transplanting operation? Ha’haha, spamfail L’OL!
Burnsy, you must be happy about the verdict. Now you can just say your Dad accidentally drowned all those hookers and you are home free!

07.05.11 at 4:47 pm

Stinky Peet

In North Korea it will be released as Captain Korea: Kim Il Jong Natural Muscle Defeat Artificial Strong Round-Eyed Scum, Establish Superiority Over All Pale-Skinned People Jong Hai!

07.05.11 at 4:48 pm

Jack Burton

Just call it “Captain Korea” and use CG to replace the star on Cap’s shield with that red and blue yin/yang thing South Korea uses on their flag. And reaplce Red Skull with Kim Jong Il. PERFECT. I ACCEPT THIS OSCAR ON BEHALF OF MYSELF. TO EVERYONE WHO DIDN’T BELIEVE IN ME, I HAVE HIRED ONE ASIAN HOOKER TO BANG WHILE I THINK OF YOU. I will be busy most of the week, with limited access to email.

07.05.11 at 5:14 pm

Martin

@Fek Well, the Skrulls and the Kree pissed off Cap, and look at what happened to them: The former went from an empire of billions to maybe, like, ten. The Kree got taken over by a bunch of freaks who used to live on the moon, OUR MOON, who led them into a horribly destructive war. So, yeah. Lesson here is not to mess with Cap.

07.05.11 at 7:00 pm

Fek'lhr

NICE KNOWLEDGE, COMIC FAG!

07.05.11 at 7:00 pm

Fek'lhr

Is this why He doesn’t have friends?

07.05.11 at 7:28 pm

spazmodic

I thought He didn’t have friends because He is a BTK addict?

07.05.11 at 8:52 pm

Dingus

West Virginia opted for “Cap’n Merka” because it sounded better phonetically. Also, they can’t spell.

07.05.11 at 10:39 pm

beatabab

**** {{w w w }} {{be tter whole saler }} {{ us }} *****
The website whol esale for many kinds of fas hion sho es,
like the nik e,jord an,pr ada, also including the jea ns,shirts,bags,hat and the decorations.
All the products are free ship ping, and the the price is com petitive,
and also can accept the pay pal pay ment.
,after the paym ent, can ship within short time.

07.05.11 at 10:58 pm

MeatJohnDoe

Burnsy, you’re doing a yeoman’s job at the helm, holding off with impressive willpower the urge of the evil C-Tates within to steer with one downturned, supinated hand whilst excessively reclined.

07.06.11 at 12:05 am

Erswi

“Yeah, we haggled over the tip… yadda yadda yadda… There’s a dead hooker in my trunk.”

I’m telling you guys, it’s like Daniel Tosh is an incognito Drunkard.

07.06.11 at 2:38 am

wanwow

West Virginia opted for “Cap’n Merka” because it sounded better phonetically. Also, they can’t spell.
-s’e’ek’c’ou’ga’r.c óm–.it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and old’er men, or older women and y’ounger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck ‘it out or tell your friends!

07.07.11 at 5:09 pm

MeatJohnDoe

That last comment from wanwow was eerily close to being self aware. FTR, I can’t spell s’e’ek’c’ou’ga’r.c’om either. It looks like some unpronounceable click language, and I’m all man, baby!