“I said no to drugs…

And this guy? I mean, what the fuck? I don’t particularly like him as an artist… not into his ‘style’ of comedy… don’t really feel the roast thing…

I just remember… and this was before everything (before drugs and even generally evident dysfunction… if you could even dig that… generally evident, though (like publicly)… I mean, first signs of disordered consumption manifested the day after I was born)… this one quote.

I think he was on Conan… when Conan was in New York and I was in New York. I thought it clever (the quote and all)… I remember being a very very… very sad bergoning writery individual.

And I thought it was clever.

I had no idea just how pertinently clever until years after, at which point I dismissed it as retarded. …and again, just something a comedian would say. clever, in timing and language but floating in the mire atop any material substance that it could have.

I kind of know nothing about him and I don’t care. And people die all the time. And they die of O.D.‘s all the time, all-the-more.

But I think we take these things with us somehow. I mean, if they hit us at the right time and all.

It was just some version of mild electric-fence-shock that happened when everything in my affect was serendipitously open just enough.

I mean, I don’t even care if he rests in peace (I mean, beyond the fact that I don’t have a concept for “rest in peace”). Like, if I did, I wouldn’t care… if he did.