The Lanie Diaries

During my high school junior and senior years on the newspaper staff, I was a staff writer and layout. I fell in love with all of the night- before-the-paper-is-due stress, where I frantically and angrily put the paper in order. With that being said, I came into my freshman year knowing my major: print journalism. Little did I know that I would end up changing my major.

I am a person who loves to know exactly what the plan is, and I realized that I have no idea what the plan is right now. I like to write everything down in my messy planner because then I know what’s coming. I like to schedule my classes super early because then I know what’s coming. I like to know what’s coming because I like to be prepared. I like to be prepared because it makes me feel in control and comfortable.

Being in the dark about what’s to come is terrifying. I want to know everything, but I also know that I simply can’t know everything. I liked knowing my major prior to coming to college. When I doubted myself, I went into a complete funk. I was worried about being happy, making sure my parents were proud of me and doing something that would ultimately lead me to where I need to be.

One day, I found the courage that I needed. I changed my major, and it felt like weights lifted off my shoulders. I was excited immediately after seeing the classes I will be taking next semester. It took a lot of courage, confidence and support to walk into the George Hurst building and make my decision to officially become a graphic design major. I watched the department chair sign his name on the contract, and I smiled from ear to ear. We talked about the program, about adding a minor and the effort that has to be put in. I’m ready.

It was hard for me to realize that almost everyone goes through this “major-for-life life crisis.” It is absolutely terrifying to think that I could have made the wrong decision again. It is absolutely terrifying to think I could upset my parents. But it also feels absolutely rewarding. Life is full of important decisions, and it’s okay if you do not have it all figured out yet. I promise. As actress Jane Krakowski once said, “You can have a plan, but you have to be flexible. Every day is unpredictable, and you just have to go with the flow.”