How can your children succeed in school after a divorce?

Posted on May 9, 2018 6:00am PDT

There is no way to avoid running into the realization that a divorce is difficult, especially for children. If you and your spouse attempting to work out the issues that were dividing you in marriage and were still not successful in doing so then at least you both had an opportunity to directly confront those issues.

Your children are bystanders for the whole process- affected by every move you and your spouse make but not in a position to weigh in or move you both closer to reconciliation. This can be a helpless and extremely disheartening feeling.

Just like we as adults have our own responsibilities to attend to at work on a daily basis, so too do our children at school. We like to think of this time away from home as a respite for our children- away from stress and anxiety they can focus their attention on studies and extracurricular activities rather than the drama that is going on at home.

Unfortunately, this is not always how it works out. We hear stories about the child who succeeds on the playing field after a divorce. How the gridiron or the baseball diamond offered a child a means to escape their less than desirable at home reality. However, I would offer to you today that this type of scenario is the exception rather than the norm. School has likely become more stressful, tedious and trying for your child now that you and your spouse have begun divorce proceedings.

There are ways to minimize the effects of your divorce on your child’s performance in the classroom. Today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan will discuss this subject with you all and will offer some tips on how to help your child achieve success academically during and after your divorce.

Your child comes first- always

In a divorce, everyone’s lives are thrown for a loop and it is normal to have concern for yourself more so during the divorce than in previous years. I talk to clients about how when you’re about to embark on a flight the flight attendants will tell you that in the event of a situation where the air-masks are lowered to always place your mask on first become helping your children do so.

The thought is that if you can’t help yourself survive a low oxygen environment first, you will be unable to do so for your children. For the purposes of discussing divorce coping techniques, I do not think this principle applies.

I would advise you as a parent to place the focus of your attention on your children before yourself in a divorce and in the time period after the divorce. The judge in your case will approach matters by looking at what is in the best interests of your child and it is this same standard that is best applied by you and your spouse as well.

In your divorce, it’s likely that you and your spouse are having a difficult time finding consensus on any issue. It is always best, though, to attempt to communicate regarding your child and to find common ground when parenting him or her.

Being on the same page with your spouse in regard to your child’s schooling is crucial. Your child needs to continue to be held accountable for his or her performance in the classroom while your divorce is ongoing. Assignments will come due, projects need to be worked on and tests need to be studied for.

If your child senses that your attention is diverted it may direct him or her to focus their attention on other matters as well. Your divorce should not be an opportunity for your child’s grades to slip or behavior to worsen. If you and your spouse pay sufficient attention to their schooling it does not have to be this way.

Think ahead, work with your spouse and avoid problems with your child in school

Like most things in life, communication is crucial when it comes to emphasizing and focusing your attention on your child’s schooling during a divorce. If you and your spouse can communicate your mutually held goals to one another this is a great first step. As we’ve already discussed, each of you has your own individually held goals for your divorce. Your child and their schooling offer an opportunity to be on the same team during this time of discord and conflict.

Secondly, I would make sure your child’s teachers are aware of what is going on at home between you and your child’s other parent. This can help the teachers keep an eye out for academic or behavioral problems that your child may begin to exhibit now that your divorce is in full swing. It also creates an open line of communication for the teachers to get back with you in the event that is necessary.

Finally, if you and your spouse can agree to a schedule for your child to adhere to in terms of after-school activities that will invariably benefit your child. No matter where your child is after school- whether your home or your spouse’s home- there will be an expectation that school work will be completed, chores accomplished and recreational time will be had as well. Will this level of coordination and teamwork be easy? No, most likely it won’t be. Will it be beneficial for your child? Absolutely.

Part Two of our discussion on maintaining academic success for your child during a divorce coming tomorrow

The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is passionate about ensuring the successes of our clients and their families during a divorce. We would invite you all to return to our website this week as we further discuss the important subject of academic performance during a divorce.

In the meantime, if you have any questions regarding divorce or family lawin Texas please do not hesitate to contact our office today. A free of charge consultation is available to you six days a week.

Law Office of Bryan Fagan | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers

The Law Office of Bryan Fagan routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding Divorce, it's important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Child Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.

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