To the young, able-bodied man who snuck his way into the last seat on the train and then promptly stared at his phone, while a pregnant woman stood in front of him – may you trip upon disembarking, on your undone shoelace, sending your iPhone 6 Plus sailing into the air, landing squarely on the track, where it is then promptly run over by the next train – your iPhone, that is . . .

A man tried to catch up with his girlfriend during their evening commute, while talking about a little of this and a little of that.

“How come you’re so quiet?”

“Did you miss me?”

“Was I squishing you last night,” he asked her in between smothering kisses.

She murmured her responses, moodily.

He changed the subject to try and cheer her up.

“I played a game today, you should play. I played it all day at work,” he said.

“It’s called Depression Quest.”

The girl looked away, absently.

“It’s about this depressed person who has to make decisions,” he tried to explain.

“And I didn’t die, so … ,” it was clear he’d lost her, but he wasn’t about to give up.

“You know you start school on Monday, hey?” he said, referencing the expected end to recent job action by British Columbia public school teachers, that has left provincial elementary schools and high schools closed since June.

His gal smushed up her face, even more dismayed, it appeared, at the prospect of going back to class.

Sensing some distress, the man then offered to take the girl in, “you could move into my apartment and live with me for free,” he offered, hurriedly, before the two carried on in hushed tones, interrupted only by the smacking of lips.