Err..no, this bit of The Jammy Badgers decided that, as Danger had modelled a kilt and bagpipes before (without letting me see, I might add! Because I was hard at work!) then Danger should wear a kilt, and play bagpipes for the band.

I'd never do anything nasty or violent or force you into a kilt or anything :(

But on the night of The Jammy Badgers' debut gig, the only trousers in this household will be on my legs. And your entire wardrobe will be full of kilts.

I mean, kilt or no kilt, I'd be happy either way... but you might feel a little exposed with nothing at all on, and only your bagpipes to preserve your modesty (as much as bagpipes and modesty can go together)

I'm not sure that your inability to play will stnd out to be honest John we are going to be a very funny set making some very funny sounds I'm sure. I think the kilt is for distraction purposes to be honest ;-)

OMG I didn't check to see if you'd posted last night so now there is coffee dribbling down my chin and um, perhaps my dress neckline isn't quite high enough to catch it before, well. Anyway. I need to go clean up.

Should we start listing House Rules? House Rule 1: John is always innocent. House Rule 2: Lestrade is never innocent. House Rule 3: No group bagpiping allowed. House Rule 4: ?

I think all these "rules" lack a certain rule-ness. I mean, at least three of them don't involve anyone doing or not-doing anything! (I'd say they were house rules-of-thumb, but I just know someone is going to find that hysterically funny in a way I and Sherlock will need to have explained, so I shall refrain. *sigh*)

All time machines need to be built OUTSIDE the flat! You never know what might get sucked into a time warp inside. (Not that you know what might get sucked into a time warp outside, but it's less likely to be something you want to use in this part of time.) :)

L, if only we could count on that, the NYC subways would not need that "If you see something, say something" motto they have plastered all over the place--all bombs would be carried off as soon as they were put down! (Now, anything left in a locked lobby as decoration--very obviously fake plants, ugly posters on the walls, hideous industrial seating--all that disappears overnight.)

We have the same sort of thing here, given the constant threat of terrorism, but despite the tube having been targeted a number of times, no one ever does say anything. There was a little upturn in people reporting bags after the most recent bombings, but now it's back to normal.

Yeah. I've got off trains a few times because someone was making me nervous that way--but they don't want you to report that. (And that's as someone who's been riding subways my entire life--it takes someone being VERY strange for me to even notice, much less react to.)

There was a bomb scare at a school I know of, the police were busy somewhere and advised that the teachers look round the school and see if they could see a bomb! I'm not sure what a bomb would look like in a building full of bags and coats!!

I think we are all guilty of staying away from suspicious things and hoping for the best possibly because that is easier than thinking the threat might actually be real, but it's not really a good thing, or the responsible thing to do.

So, the first time I went on a train to King's Cross, I was eating an apple, but couldn't find a bin to throw it away in. So, I wandered the platforms for a bit, looking around and ended up lost in some far-off part of the station. One of the transit cops (?) told me "Oh, just set it down anywhere. We don't have bins after the bombings."

It was so awkward because I was terrified that it was a trap and I'd get arrested, and I didn't even really properly speak the language yet, and I'd seen that one cop tackle a dude only a month previous. I'm sure I looked ridiculous, standing there, trying not to look conspicuously non-British with my apple core and to gather the courage to nonchalantly drop it on the ground or the tracks or something.

Took me much longer than it should have to think to find the guys who were collecting trash and drop it in one of their bags...

Hah, yeah. Some people get really nervous when thay say 'Where are the bins?' and get the answer 'We don't have any, because people put bombs in them'. But once you've explained it a few hundred times, you can't be bothered to dress it up!

If you chuck stuff on the tracks, the rats and mice deal with it fairly quickly :)

And it could have been a regular Met officer, but more likely BTP - British Transport Police.

I like the sounds and the smells.Ugh, the smells are what I hate most about the metro.

I recently watch a guy enter the crowded train and set down the box he was carrying on a seat and then take a step or two away making it look like it wasn't his. I definitely decided that if he got off without it I would be exiting as well and finding someone to tell. But he took it when he left; just some heavy stuff he was bringing home from the office I suppose. Funny what occurs to you though. He didn't "look suspicious" he looked like a middle aged office worker, but that doesn't mean anything.

I work for an urban university and several times this year we've gotten email blasts from campus police about suspicious persons with guns being seen on or near campus and when they describe the ones with guns 80% of the time it's middle aged office worker. I am convinced the city is teeming with spies.

KHolly, I don't know about spies, but suspicious persons with guns near a university is nothing to ignore. Just one year after I graduated college, my university was targeted multiple times by a sniper--several students were shot, and one woman driving past was killed. I knew a couple of the students that were shot, in fact, as I had worked in the dorm office there for several years on work-study. (They never caught the sniper, by the way, just put it down to anti-Semitism.)

RR: they take it very seriously, hence the email blasts. It's never turned out to be targeting us though, just near us. And I'm joking about the spies of course, but only sort of considering the number of people I've met who deftly dodge questions of where they work.

Starbright - Welcome to our merry band of... um, well, commenters is probably the most neutral way to put it. ;) The craiglist link gave me a much needed laugh.

All - Days 2 and 3 of the new job have gone very well. In the mornings, I untangle paperwork and put stamps on products. In the afternoons, I'm frantically logging +12 years worth of broken merchandise into an Excel WS. We are now up to +700 rows, and I foresee that we may exceed +2000 entries by the time we're done. (I wish I was exaggerating. The team I'm working with is buried in a large, double-door cabinet of paper...)

Greg - (re: rubbish bins) That explains so much. I spent a good 20 minutes wandering around the Houses of Parliament, looking for a place to throw my apple core away and wondering how London could possibly not have bins and not have absolute chaos come the Summer Games. ... They're probably back because of the Summer Games.

A - they've been coming back for years - clear bags, hanging, no bins you can't see into. And they're definitely not coming back for the games - wouldnt be surprised if they went altogether again before then, there is such a high terrorist threat.

Ah, there you reach.the second part of my plan. Have Sherlock with a map, riding a Dog o War, follow the pancakes. Et voila, instant map. Plus, I bet sherlocks really good at directions. And Lestrade can get home from harrods, I'm sure.

I'm pretty sure I could never bring myself to just drop garbage on platforms--and I know I could never drop it on tracks, NY has had far too much trouble with track fires caused by garbage! I'd do what I do in a car--wrap it in a tissue and bring it home to throw out.

L--Yes, you said apple cores, because the rats would eat them. *shivers* I see more than enough rats on subway platforms and tracks already, so I remembered that! But cups were mentioned, so that's what I was thinking of. (And of course, we still have garbage cans all over the place here, often overflowing and equally often ignored. And dangerous electrical rails that set trash on fire, and sometimes electrocute people who jump down onto those tracks for dropped cell phones or keys.)

Scrambled eggs and toast sounds like a fair compromise--more than fair, actually. :)

You're doing better than most, though! I couldn't manage one, I don't think. No, I know I couldn't. Don't know I could even walk that far unless absolutely necessary. (That is so sad now that I've written it out like that. *determines to use ellipital trainer more*)

John - glad to hear your...er, steak, etc. was good last night. We sort of half-celebrated - we had chicken. ;)

I think all underground systems run on a live third rail. Or at least, I can't think of another way they could run. Some people die every year from electrocution on the tube, but most are hit by trains. I've never heard of fires here caused by the live rails, but then I wouldn't have reason to. Most famous fire here was caused by a cigarette end, so that's not an issue any more.

I think the way the trains push the air around the tube system the rubbish all get blown around and out of the tunnels, i imagine there are teams who collect it or something.

You've got to be pretty stupid to jump onto the tracks for anything, really.

That's a very interesting story, John! I know there's no such job on the NY subways because the trains run 24/7--the electricity to the rails is only off during blackouts and a very, very few other emergencies. (I vaguely remember hearing that when the system was shut down for the-hurricane-that-wasn't, it was the first time that was ever done, but I couldn't swear to it.)

L--Anyone who jumps onto the tracks for any reason other than to save a life IS an idiot. But as they say, God must love idiots, he made such a lot of them. :)

Doesn't it have a lot of tracks side by side quite often, though? So they could shut one, but run trains next to the closed one? I mean, they must do something to clean it/work on it if the trains still run. I remember some places it felt like you could see 5 or 6 lines.

No more than 4 in any one place, that I know of (not counting different levels)--one local and one express in either direction. (If there are different trains on different levels, they go different places, or along different avenues, except for those convergences.) so on weekends they can shut down some sections of the express lines and they do--but they can't shut down the local tracks without making the local stops inaccessible.

Normally, workers clean and repair while the trains are running-- they have to be trained how to deal with the live rails, and stop every 10 or 15 minutes for trains to go by. And just this January they experimented with shutting down ONE LINE for four days to do all cleaning and repair at once, and you should have heard the shrieking--in fact, I'm surprised you didn't! (They plan to do it again for other lines, but not regularly, and it is wildly unpopular. And in fairness, in parts of the city there simply are no other public transportation options, and how are people supposed to get to work?)

I'm not sure I believe your innocent act anymore, RR. I think you're secretly smuttier than the rest of us put together :D

In other news, I just bought a book that I thought you all might enjoy. It's called "You Can Stick It" and it's full of stickers that look like they might realistically belong on various things, like books or cash machines or elevators, but they actually say wonderfully snarky things. For instance, for books, "He dies at the end," "makes the film of the book look good"; or for lifts, "Fitted with anti-death plunge mechanism," "Escape hatch locked for security purposes"; and cash machines, "Speak your PIN clearly into the microphone," "All banknotes printed on the premises," among other things. I have grand plans.

Daily report: We've past +1040 entries and the rest are in sorted piles with labels. \O/ Now all we have to do is figure out what to do with the unlabelled items. Um...

My boss is fantastic and my coworkers are friendly. They're all very patient with me as I learn on the job. The honeymoon period isn't over yet, but I can see myself at this company for the next two or three years.