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Trudeau yoga pose stories pose their own threat: Teitel

We get it: Justin Trudeau is hot — not merely by the standards of politics (a low bar) but by every standard imaginable. He is both conventionally and strikingly handsome — a rare combination one usually beholds only among Disney princes and successful contestants on The Bachelorette.

And what do you know: he does yoga — and he does it well. He can even mount a boardroom table and prop himself up by his palms alone, as he did in 2011 in the Liberal caucus room on Parliament Hill — a moment captured by Ottawa photographer Gregory Kolz in a photo that suddenly went internationally viral this week.

Trudeau, we have learned, via said photo, is not merely a feminist, a baby-panda enthusiast and a proficient boxer: he is a master of the Mayurasana pose — a.k.a. the “peacock pose” — an advanced yoga move that requires significant upper body strength and balance and is not recommended, says Wikipedia, for sufferers of something called “cervical spondylitis.”

The photo has of course seized the attention of Trudeau-“thirsty” fans worldwide who won’t stop — no, can’t stop — salivating over the PM. In the words of American social news website Mashable: “Justin Trudeau’s impressive core strength will make you say ‘namaste.’”

Or it might make you say something else entirely. For starters: Enough already.

Yes, Justin Trudeau is handsome, and, presumably, a nice guy who stands, as progressives like to say, on “the right side of history” (most recently, he tweeted his support for transgender Canadians and abortion access in P.E.I.). But he is also a Canadian.

Which means that every time he is fawned over and exalted beyond his borders — every time the Guardian, the New York Times and CNN gasp at his “athletic prowess” — every time Perez Hilton declares him “such a babe,” his own media here at home cannot help but generate an entire news cycle devoted exclusively to the news that Justin Trudeau made the news.

Whether it’s the CBC — “Photo of Justin Trudeau doing yoga makes the Internet freak out — again”— the National Post, “The story behind the viral Justin Trudeau peacock yoga pose and the photographer who captured it” — or the Star (see this column) — the sentiment is the same: Our boy did it again! Look at him go! They like him — they really like him.

It is hard to fault the content-hungry Canadian press for jumping at every opportunity to exploit the PM’s popularity. Trudeau is to mainstream media what kittens are to memes: click gold. But this trend, which appears to show no sign of letting up, is frankly a little undignified and more than a little tired.

It is so tired, in fact, that if Trudeau chooses to run for a second term as prime minister, I may consider voting for the other guy (or girl — it will be 2019, after all) solely on the basis that if the PM is defeated I will never again have to read headlines gushing that someone somewhere far away declared it adorable when Trudeau ate an ice cream cone or went trick or treating with his family or (who knows how far this will go) went to the bathroom.

In fact, the relationship between foreign press and Trudeau is itself also a little unseemly — not unlike a relationship between a group of effortlessly cool Grade 12s and a plucky, good-looking Grade 9 student who has managed to ingratiate himself with his older, cooler peers by making practical jokes (pretending to fall down a flight of stairs for example) and showing off his acrobatic dexterity.

Canada, you could argue, is Grade 9 itself: earnest, insecure and eager to devour and regurgitate any inkling of praise it can from above. This is our lot in life on the world stage. But it doesn’t have to be.

For those of you living beyond our borders thirsty for Trudeau: I implore you, please, for the dignity of our kind and cold nation, find a new crush.

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