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Monday, January 20, 2014

Target: I Am A Slimmer Kitty

So Mummy Cat is busy earning cat biscuits, studying for her Masters and writing books so she says, "Something has to go!"

I thought it might be Guido but she meant the blog! That's not right because efurryone needs to hear all about me, right? Right!

So I will be taking over the blog. And as Guido whapped me silly, begged to share, he will post sometimes every second week.

So anyway, my first post is about weight management. You may have noticed that I was a tad heavy in the rear last year? Just a tiny little bit? Well, Mummy Cat came up with this idea for fixed evening dinners. Instead of me coming in and getting dinner from her, and then a second dinner from T-man, and then eating a third dinner when Guido comes in, we now both eat one dinner at 8PM.

I am a slimmer kitty. Just check my butt.

That's the official line: cats, come closer and listen. Not all is lost! When your Mummy Cat does something daft like this, you have the power of the paw and the meow to ask for sekunds. Just eat efurrything in one go, and then look at the bowl and turn it over. Look totally pathetic. Your Mummy Cat will instantly ask if you are totally starving. A meow! and a furry purry headbutt and she's yours. And so are sekunds.

I dunno - that might not work on my human. She is really cold-hearted when it comes to food! Like, if Binga steals my lunch, she does not get dinner because "she already ate." I told you she is cold-hearted! But then, Binga is also the perfect weight for her size, so maybe she knows what she is doing.

Poor you ! you can't even cheat on your forced diet ! My neighbor put her cat on diet with the result that she emptied all bowls in my kitchen and got fat and fatter ! Until I thought it was about time to tell her, because all bowls were always emptied by her cat and our cats meowed for food, lol !

You are looking good Target. I have trained my mum so I get firsts and seconds whenever I want them. Mum gives me my little tin of meat and I tell her I am not eating that poison. After an hour she gives in and opens another tin of a different flavour. I tell her I am not eating that either so she says eat it or leave it then. Bingo! I get two tins of meat instead of one.

Your furry tocks look very good as they are, Target! You don't have to lose any weight! I hope you get seconds and thirds! I have a plan! Make sure T-Man doesn't know that Mummy Cat has already fed you, and vice versa. This way, you might even get thirds and fourths!

Congratulations on becoming a slimmer cat, Target. You have a good plan for getting more food. Thank you for purring for Bambino. He is eating more and seems to feel a little better. We are all jealous of the great food he is getting.