I'll admit it, I am terrified of parallel parking the M3 without the GF spotting me. I won't drive the M3 if I anticipate having to park near a curb.

Dude, seriously?!?! Even with the function that tilts the passenger mirror down when you're in reverse so you can see the curb right there? Go out somewhere like a parking lot, lay down a strip of tape to represent a curb, and practice parallel parking without your wheels touching the tape. Then enjoy a life enhanced by lack of curb paranoia.