So in that girl's world, if two wheelchair users roll up to the same stall, do they have to compare handicaps to determine who goes first, or do they duel Highlander style since apparently there can "only be one" disabled person per bathroom?

I have a feeling the other gal would have some argument as to why she should still get dibs. We normals know that, all else being equal, whoever was in line first goes first. The snowflakes play by their own set of ever-changing (to suit themselves) rules.

So in that girl's world, if two wheelchair users roll up to the same stall, do they have to compare handicaps to determine who goes first, or do they duel Highlander style since apparently there can "only be one" disabled person per bathroom?

I just laughed so hard I think I hurt myself.

Your friend did fine, and WC lady was very rude.

We had this last year in my office, with one colleague using a knee scooter. No issues other than being either serenaded (she has a beautiful voice) or she'd turn the water on to "encourage" me. All good natured, and for a laugh.

As an aside, the folks in NYC really are awesome. It's a myth that New Yorkers are rude in my experience. If you're polite, they're polite right back.

Quite often, the above is not true. I can't tell you how many times I had to use a bathroom with the door left open because the wheelchair I was using after my accident didn't fit into what was called the handicapped stall. Attention building designers: putting a handrail into a stall that's not big enough for an actual wheelchair does NOT make it "handicapped accessible."

Goes back to what I decided then - every architect and builder should be req hired to spend a month in a wheelchair before construction just to make sure they understand the handicapped concept completely.

[/irritated tangent!]

My 78-year-old mother, who has been in a wheelchair for the last 18 years, says the same thing. Sometimes stores are accessible in that you can get IN, but once in, you can't move around. Same with some bathrooms.

And as for who gets to go first, my mom would never, ever think that because SHE is in a chair, someone in front of her with another type of disabiility, such as the OP's friend, should have to wait for her. She and I have gone into public bathrooms and have had to wait for hte HC stall, and other times its free. Its no different than anyone waiting in line in a ladies room, except she has to wait for one specific stall.

Permanent disability does not trump temporary disability. Wheelchair does not trump scooter, or crutches or leg braces.

However, there are some disabilities that impair a person's ability to tell when they need to use the bathroom. It is possible for some people with disabilities to go from fine and dandy to "need bathroom right now!" in a second or two. For that reason, I do let people with disabilities to the front of the line so that they can get the disabled stall as soon as it is available. I would not want someone to have an avoidable bathroom accident if it can at all be prevented.

I'm probably the worst person to be in line behind in a public restroom. I'll let little children doing the "pee-pee" dance go in front of me, as well as anyone looking particularly anguished about the situation. I know all the rules about waiting in line, but I don't want someone to wet their pants because of those rules.

I'm probably the worst person to be in line behind in a public restroom. I'll let little children doing the "pee-pee" dance go in front of me, as well as anyone looking particularly anguished about the situation. I know all the rules about waiting in line, but I don't want someone to wet their pants because of those rules.

A number of years ago, I was at a Christmas party in a venue with limited bathroom facilities. It was fine for most of the evening but right after dinner, when everyone was trying to use the facilities, there was a huge line-up. A very pregnant woman came in the door, saw the line and got the most stricken look on her face. All of us in line laughed a little and sent her to the front of the line. She was very grateful.

OP, the lady in the wheelchair was rude.

Logged

After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice: If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.

We encounter the 'not big enough' wheelchair stalls all the time - DP is still in a wheelchair part time (usually when we go out she needs it, but doesn't at home). What's worse, when she needed me to help her in the stall (when she first got out of the hospital and was so weak she needed help fastening pants and such) we learned quickly that 80% of the time, that meant that we'd have my wrap used as an impromptu screen across the gap in the door necessary for me to get in there and help.

Wheelchair lady was crazy. Full stop. We always defer to the walker/crutches/cane crowd, because as it's been pointed out, they are unsteady, we're just big and slow moving with the chair! LOL

I'm largely out of my wheelchair and crutches now (finally found a mostly acceptable treatment, though today is an exception). But, nope, neither trumps without a dingdangity good reason. I would get quietly annoyed if the person walking in front of me went to the HC stall when there were 3 others open, but I would then quietly remind myself that I didn't know their level of ability. I did, and still do, get annoyed when they use it for something other than using the bathroom while they know someone with a disability is waiting (if you need to change, let the person in the wheelchair cut in).

My understanding (and I previously have been the temporarily handicapped--I broke an ankle and was in cast + crutches, then using a cane when I got out of the cast and was rebuilding my muscle strength) is that those stalls are handicapped-accessible, but that they are not handicapped-exclusive, nor are they total "skip the line". Particularly in smaller bathrooms where there are only two stalls (the 'regular' and the handicapped), if there's any line at all I do not think that the handicapped stall needs stay empty *just in case*. When more than one person is present who needs the handicapped stall, the normal line rules apply amongst those who need the special stall.

In other words, one handicap does not trump another. Nor does a handicap equate to wait-free usage of a public restroom.

And I do think that sometimes the retro-fitted accessibility is something that shows a clear lack of understanding of what it's like to need this access. The worst one I ever saw wasn't a bathroom, it was a wheelchair ramp which had been built onto the end of a sidewalk. The only problem was that the entry door opened *outward* across the path of the wheelchair ramp, so that if you had to use the ramp, you would have to go past the door, get the door opened, and then reverse (and turn on a standard sidewalk to go from sideways relative to the entrance to being able to actually move into the store).

Which is a huge pet peeve of mine, by the way. I know that, sometimes, it's the only space available. But there are lots of times when there are other options for the location of it - the establishment just isn't utilizing their space properly.

I hate this, too, Dotty. I've been yelled at twice by people in wheelchairs who needed to use the handicapped stall, but it was the only one with the changing table. Both times I was already using the stall before they got there, otherwise I would have let them go first.

My understanding (and I previously have been the temporarily handicapped--I broke an ankle and was in cast + crutches, then using a cane when I got out of the cast and was rebuilding my muscle strength) is that those stalls are handicapped-accessible, but that they are not handicapped-exclusive, nor are they total "skip the line". Particularly in smaller bathrooms where there are only two stalls (the 'regular' and the handicapped), if there's any line at all I do not think that the handicapped stall needs stay empty *just in case*. When more than one person is present who needs the handicapped stall, the normal line rules apply amongst those who need the special stall.

In other words, one handicap does not trump another. Nor does a handicap equate to wait-free usage of a public restroom.

My interpretation of the HC stall is that it was created for anyone who cannot use a regular size stall for whatever reason. The reason shouldn't matter. The point is if there are restrooms available, every needs to be able to have access to them. I think people in wheelchairs are the most visible majority/example of that, and so the "handicapped" symbol reflects the obvious - wheelchairs can fit in the special stall.

Yup. The handicap stalls are very beloved at ren faires, because it's the only place you can fit a hoop skirt.

Which is a huge pet peeve of mine, by the way. I know that, sometimes, it's the only space available. But there are lots of times when there are other options for the location of it - the establishment just isn't utilizing their space properly.

I hate this, too, Dotty. I've been yelled at twice by people in wheelchairs who needed to use the handicapped stall, but it was the only one with the changing table. Both times I was already using the stall before they got there, otherwise I would have let them go first.

I was once in the handicapped stall, assisting my 5 year old nephew, who uses a wheelchair and can't transfer to the toilet by himself. Someone was banging on the door, demanding that I get out, so that she could get in with her small daughter.

I understand that for parents with small kids, the handicapped stall is a safe option, but to expect a disabled person to vacate it for you? Even the mall security guard she called was embarrassed for her.

But that just goes to show that people use the handicapped stalls for many reasons, none of which are wrong.

Nothing guarantees any of us an empty stall the second we enter a restroom.

Well, I usually can use the regular stalls, but there are times my MS acts up and I need to use the rails in the handicapped stall both to sit down and to get up. But it is not a "visible" handicap, unless I'm using my cane.