Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Following the tradition that we introduced last year, and with renewal season about a month away, we're predicting the fate our beloved shows on the four major networks; CBS, NBC, ABC, and Fox, as well as The CW.

We will be marking the show in one of five categories:

Renewed (We're predicting a renewal)

Cancelled (We're predicting a cancellation)

Already Renewed (Already officially renewed)

Already Cancelled (Already officially cancelled)

Completed (On previously-announced final season)

We will add up these scores and give each network an individual percentage. Whichever network has the highest percentage will be declared "The First Stop NETWORK OF THE YEAR", while the network with the lowest percentage will receive the title of "The First Stop MOST HORRIBLE NETWORK OF THE YEAR". However, if the show is listed as "Completed", the show will not be factored in to the network's overall score. Just a reminder: for the 2011-12 TV season, we declared CBS as the NETWORK OF THE YEAR and NBC as the MOST HORRIBLE NETWORK OF THE YEAR.

CBS:

2 Broke Girls - Already Renewed

Blue Bloods - Already Renewed

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation - Already Renewed

CSI: New York - Cancelled

Criminal Minds - Renewed

Elementary - Already Renewed

Golden Boy - Cancelled

Hawaii Five 0 - Already Renewed

How I Met Your Mother - Already Renewed

Mike & Molly - Already Renewed

NCIS - Already Renewed

NCIS: Los Angeles - Already Renewed

Partners - Already Cancelled

Person of Interest - Already Renewed

Rules of Engagement - Cancelled

The Good Wife - Already Renewed

The Mentalist - Already Renewed

Two and a Half Men - Renewed

The Big Bang Theory - Already Renewed

Vegas - Cancelled

Overall rating: 75% (Down 1% from 2012)

Overall mark: B

NBC:

30 Rock - Completed

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue - Cancelled

Animal Practice - Already Cancelled

Community - Renewed

Chicago Fire - Renewed

Do No Harm - Already Cancelled

Deception - Cancelled

Guys with Kids - Cancelled

Go On - Renewed

Grimm - Renewed

Hannibal - Renewed

Law and Order: SVU - Renewed

Parenthood - Renewed

Parks and Recreation - Renewed

Revolution - Renewed

Smash - Cancelled

The Office - Completed

The New Normal - Cancelled

Up All Night - Cancelled

Whitney - Cancelled

Overall rating: 45% (Down 7% from 2012)

Overall mark: F+

ABC:

Don't Trust the B in Apartment 23 - Already Cancelled

Happy Endings - Cancelled

Last Resort - Already Cancelled

Zero Hour - Already Cancelled

Red Widow - Cancelled

Private Practice - Already Cancelled

Malibu Country - Cancelled

666 Park Avenue - Already Cancelled

Body of Proof - Cancelled

Last Man Standing - Renewed

The Neighbors - Cancelled

Nashville - Renewed

Revenge - Renewed

Suburgatory - Renewed

Castle - Renewed

The Middle - Renewed

Once Upon a Time - Renewed

Scandal - Renewed

How to Live With Your Parents - Renewed

Grey's Anatomy - Renewed

Modern Family - Renewed

Overall score: 52% (Down 14% from 2012)

Overall mark: D-

Fox:

The Mob Doctor - Already Cancelled

Touch - Cancelled

Fringe - Completed

Ben and Kate - Already Cancelled

The Cleveland Show - Cancelled

Raising Hope - Already Renewed

The Mindy Project - Already Renewed

Bob's Burgers - Already Renewed

American Dad - Already Renewed

Glee - Renewed

New Girl - Already Renewed

Bones - Already Renewed

The Simpsons - Already Renewed

The Following - Already Renewed

Family Guy - Already Renewed

Overall score: 73% (Up 7% from 2012)

Overall mark: B

The CW:

Cult - Already Cancelled

90210 - Already Cancelled

Emily Owens, M.D. - Already Cancelled

Nikita - Renewed

Gossip - Completed

The Carrie Diaries - Cancelled

Hart of Dixie - Renewed

Beauty and the Beast - Renewed

Supernatural - Already Renewed

Arrow - Already Renewed

The Vampire Diaries - Already Renewed

Overall score: 63% (Up 1% from 2012)

Overall mark: C-

THE RESULTS:

Network Average Percentage: 61.6% or a "C-" (Down 3.8% from 2012)

The First Stop Network of the Year: CBS (Second Year in a Row)

The First Stop Most Horrible Network of the Year: NBC (Second Year in a Row)

THE RANKINGS:

CBS (Same Ranking as 2012)

Fox (Same Ranking from 2012)

The CW (Up 1 Ranking from 2012)

ABC (Down 1 Ranking from 2012)

NBC (Same Ranking as 2012)

See you next Spring for our 2013-14 index! Hopefully by then NBC can figure out what the hell they're doing!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Avril Lavigne has recently decided that she's going to reject the human-aging process.

Her new Epic Records-released single "Here's to Never Growing Up", written by herself alongside fiancee and Nickelback member Chad Kroeger, 38, as well as a couple other people, the song (just like every other mainstream single released in the 21st century) debuted on On Air with Ryan Seacrest this morning. The upbeat anthem is reminiscent to songs of hers like "Complicated" (2002), while the message is similar to that of P!nk's "Raise Your Glass" and Ke$ha's "We R Who We R". The background chanting during the chorus is likely inspired by Rihanna's "Cheers (Drink to That)". But notably, the song is very similar to Cher Lloyd's "Oath". The song features a few Radiohead references, with Lavigne insisting that a group/couple is listening to a "blaring boombox" while drinking out of "whatever" and getting into a truck. But before all this happens, they call up all their friends and meet at 10:30, because they refuse to "stop" or "change". Lavigne also declares that if they say "forever", they stay forever, and then they can be forever young. These lyrics are followed by some typical obnoxious teenage blabber about walking down the street and telling strangers to "kiss my ass", and raising their glasses as the evening approaches.

In conclusion, the song clearly doesn't offer any inventive lyrics, and continues to communicate a message that we're pretty sure was said enough times in 2010, but the song will nonetheless get stuck in your head IMMEDIATELY, but its care-free and warm weather sound is guaranteed to make the song a Spring and Summer radio and iPod staple for adolescents and people who still haven't realized that they will inevitably grow old and become wrinkly.

Check out the just released lyric video for "Here's to Never Growing Up", but proceed with caution because you're gonna be shaking your head for the rest of the week to get it unstuck from your brain.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Fans of the long-lost but long-loved TV series Arrested Development have a reason to be hugely excited.

It was announced last week that after six years off the air, fans of the hit Fox comedy program will finally be getting closure on May 26, when fifteen brand new episodes will debut at the same time on the internet TV show/movie streaming service, Netflix.

The show originally began airing on Fox in 2003, and while it received widespread critical acclaim (managing to pick up six Emmy awards as well as one Golden Globe), the show failed to attract proper ratings and was ultimately axed by Fox in 2006, after three seasons and fifty-three episodes.

Rumors and reports of a continuation persisted until 2011, when Netflix announced that they would license new episodes to air exclusively on their video streaming service. Production on the fourth season of the series began in August. Since then, fans have only been given a general release date for the season, such as "Spring 2013" and "May 2013", however after seven years, fans were given a concrete date last week. Fifteen new episodes will debut the day before Memorial Day.

While producers are mostly remaining mum on the details of the season, only releasing a few cast promotional photos in magazines last Fall, it has been reported that each new episode will focus on one character from the show, with the primary plot focusing on the fictional production of a film based on the Bluth family scandal and story.

Although fans now have official news regarding the revival season of the show, many viewers may still be confused regarding the film adaptation that has been rumored since 2008. Series executive producer and creator Ron Howard said last month that the film had not yet been green-lit, however that he was "confident that we will succeed [in making the film]" and that "there is a bigger story out there" for the movie. Although the film is only in discussions and is in - shall we say - arrested development - its been reported that the film would potentially be green-lit if the revival season is successful. If the new episodes are successful, the film would reportedly see a 2014 or 2015 release.

Regarding the new season possibly being the final season of the show, Netflix CEO Reed Hastings and series creator Mitch Hurwitz have both stated that the new season will be the final season, however a Netflix spokesperson later said that Netflix is "hopeful there will be more seasons" and that Netflix wasn't done with the characters.

Conflicting reports regarding the film and potential future seasons may be persisting, however one thing's for sure - fans will get the new episodes that they've been craving for the last seven years when the show returns in May.