Ultra Stomp Rocket: 100% Less Red Glare, 100% More Fun

Kids love fireworks; parents hate emergency room visits. Where’s the middle ground? I declare that the Ultra Stomp Rocket will satisfy the urge of every kid (present company included) to propel objects high into the air, but without the messy cleanup involved with setting themselves and others on fire. Everybody wins! Happy Summer Week!

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Our resident "Bob" (pictured here through the lens of photographer Jason DeFillippo) is in love with a woman who talks to animals. He has a fondness for belting out songs about seafaring and whiskey (arguably inappropriate in most social situations). He's arm-wrestled robots and won. He was born in a lighthouse on the storm-tossed shores of an island that has since been washed away and forgotten, so he's technically a citizen of nowhere. He's never killed in anger. He once underwent therapy for having an alien in his face, but he assures us that he's now feeling "much better." Fogarty also claims that he was once marooned along a tiny archipelago and survived for months using only his wits and a machete, but we find that a little hard to believe.

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