People flock to Sainsbury's to buy their 7-a-day

While you thought most people would laugh and reach for another Mars Bar, it turns out that the new 7-a-day fruit and veg message is having an impact.

Sainsbury’s have reported soaring sales in fresh produce as concerned middle class shoppers fend off imminent death by eating as many green things as they can cram into their gullets.

So how are we choosing to face down the Grip Reaper using the power of antioxidants? Well, green beans and celery top their veg list, with sales up by 116%, followed by onions, carrots, cucumber and red peppers.

Sainsbury’s fresh produce robot Charlotte Rhodes said:

‘We’ve long been committed to helping customers to eat their five a day and it seems that this new study has sparked some new enthusiasm for the challenge. They are certainly taking full advantage of our new 69p promotion which we’re running across a range of different produce from every day carrots to more exotic aubergines.’

(Aubergines are EXOTIC? Since when?)

Still, it’ll be interesting to see how long this lasts before everyone realizes that a life spent eating celery is a life wasted. In about two months time, they’ll probably be reporting an upturn in sales of Mr Kipling.