(Closed) guest list woes…

So my FI and I know A LOT of people… a lot a lot a lot. We’re pushing 250-300 easily and our venue can realistically only hold 200 max.

We’re probably doing A and B lists, but I kind of want to JUST invite family first, since that is where most of our no’s are going to come from anyway. I just don’t want some of our friends to see invites sent to other friends, then figure out that they were on the B list when they get theirs later. Has anyone else had an issue with that?

And when should we send out our first wave of invites? I don’t want to send them out TOO early, but I also want our B list people to have enough time. Maybe around Thanksgiving with a deadline of Christmas-ish, since we’ll see our family around then and get all of our responses? Or is that way too early?

I would say, since the standard is to send out your invites 6-10 weeks ahead of time (depending on who you listen to), you could use this to your advantage. Ten weeks ahead of time would be Christmas Day, so I would probably mention it to your family when you see them so you can kind of get an idea of who is interested and who isn’t. But I wouldn’t send the invitations until after the first of the year. I would have an RSVP date of January 28. This way you would have all of your “no’s” back a month ahead of time, and you could send out your friend (or B-list) invitations. Make sure you call anybody who hasn’t returned their RSVP by the deadline before sending out the other invitations. Send out the next round of invitations by February 1 with an RSVP date of February 15. This will give you your total head count two weeks in advance of the wedding to finalize things.

I would just worry that by sending them out in the middle of the Holiday season, they might get lost in the shuffle. So much is going on with parties and gift-giving and the holiday spirit that it would be easy for an event in 2 1/2 months to slip to the back of everyone’s mind. Does that make sense?

My wedding was March 6 of last year so only a day later than you. We mailed the invites on January 2nd and our response date was February 1st I think. Since you want to have a B list I would just mail them on January 2nd and have a response date of like January 20th and then have a second batch of RSVP cards printed with an RSVP date of February 10th.. that should still give you enough time to have final numbers. Having a response date of Christmas for an early March wedding is just too early. It will backfire on you because people won’t respond at all.

I’d send them out early, especially if you’re going to be getting answers at the get-together at christmas! that way, you’ll be able to know how many you can send out to your friends.

also, consider whether or not your guests will be flying in and needing to book hotels and such. the sooner they know, the sooner than can start planning and deciding whether or not they’ll be able to afford it and be able to come. and, possibly, even get the time off from work to come.

we’re sending our early because of that reason, and to know how many are going to be coming due to our venue. also, we want to be sure those who are flying/traveling across the state will be able to get a cabin/chalete to stay in.

Moose — thanks!! Your timeline was really helpful. That makes so much sense — the more I thought about it the more I realized that sending them before the holidays would mean that people would forget.

Ryna — Yeah the economy is definitely a factor. Fortunately, our out of towners are all family and all know the date already, which is very helpful for us! But, I would definitely send them out earlier if I didn’t think they would get lost — earlier can be so much easier on everyone!! 🙂

@piglet_625: 🙂 the economy SUCKS, lol. we’re actually going to be suggesting to our friends (that typically crash together when filming) to rent a chalete together and share the cost (it’d be like $30 for each, lol). The same is going to be suggested for family.

Perhaps you could actually HAND out the invites at the Christmas get together? Unless you think they’d get lost on the way home ;). Either way, definitely get the “yes” and “no’s” from the family while you’ve got ’em all corraled in one place! LOL!