Top things to avoid doing in a new relationship

A new relationship can be very different and you might feel like you are on cloud nine all the time. It is a new feel and you are probably taking everything in the positive way. Maybe you want a serious relationship after a lot of failures and you to take in the best of what is given to you and even things that aren’t given to you. Well, to say it in simpler terms, you are happy, excited and you are hopeful of the beautiful future that is awaiting your way.

Sometimes in life, we – women, don’t know where we are crossing that extra line. There are basically three lines before the final one. The first two are lines that can be crossed given your new relationship and your partner’s tolerance. But, after crossing the second line, we should stop. But a lot of women don’t know where to put an end to overwhelming the guys. That is when the relationship turns awkward and bizarre. Well, let me tell you that guys work in a particular way and they don’t intend to cross that line until they are ready. As girls, we tend to reach that stage much faster than the guys. Your emotional overdose might make the guys uncomfortable and irritated. Well, these are some things to avoid in a new relationship. So, we have rounded up on some things that you could probably avoid when your relationship is in its blossoming stages.

Top Things to Put Off in a New Relationship

1Don’t play hard to get

Yes, this is one thing that not many girls follow. They think that by playing hard, they have the upper hand. You might have the upper hand when the guy knows you entirely. This doesn’t give you the reason to play hard to get during the start of your relationship itself. The starting of your love is very fragile and whatever you do has an effect on your relationship directly or indirectly. When you play hard to get, the guy will automatically lose interest in you. If you are busy, it works if you answer via texts or just let him know that you are busy. Guys appreciate being true. So, if you are really busy and in an unanswerable situation, you can very much tell them.

2Don’t be too clingy or needy

It is one thing to act hard, one other thing to be too clingy, desperate and needy. It’s obvious that you feel like spending all your time with him. It is usual, but don’t let him know that you want and need him. That can creep him.

Don’t be hungry for his texts, calls or his presence. Fine, we get that you are dead attracted to him. But you don’t have to show all that to the guy you are dating. Give your guy the breathing space and make him feel comfortable in the relationship. Don’t surround him with all your puppy dog feelings. You do your thing and let him do his thing and you will never know how things will fall in place soon.

3Don’t be too possessive

It is very true that your boyfriend will have friends of the opposite sex. That doesn’t mean he is flirting around and sleeping around with all the girlfriends. You are special to him and they are just his friends. Know the difference first. But, if you fail to understand that, you are probably going to put yourself into self pity and a lot of possessiveness is going to engulf you.

Don’t be too jealous of him and his friends or the relationship he maintains with his close girl friends. He knows them before you and you don’t get to judge their relationship. Try to understand the guy, know where to stop and behave. If you feel he is really going out of line, then that is a whole different story. Until you feel that, chill and enjoy your time.

4Don’t forget your own friends

A lot of women do this. They just forget their own close friends and start spending all their time with the guy. Yes, we get that you aren’t single, but that doesn’t mean you can just leave your friends behind and forget their existence.Try to make space for them in their schedule.

Yes, it is tough at first to meet them and your boyfriend and try to juggle things. But once you get a hang of it, things will get easier. Let the boyfriend know how much you value your friendship with your friends. The same way, put in some good words about your guy to your friends. This will make it easier for you when you want the two parties to meet.

5Don’t expect him to read everything in your mind

See, the problem here is, when you want your boyfriend to understand what you think, they start assuming stuff. But you will start regretting that later because guys, firstly assumes random things. Secondly, there could be fights because of these assumptions. Also, how can a guy find out what you have in your mind when you are not sure about the things you think? Girls are complex beings and guys are simple. They don’t understand and they genuinely can’t figure things out on their own. So, don’t expect your guy to be a superhero. You should be able to communicate what you feel and expect the same from him. You will be into deep resentment if you keep expecting for him to understand.

6Don’t lie to him

It’s true that you should definitely maintain a true relationship with the guy, that too mainly when it’s a new relationship. Don’t lie to him unnecessarily and then change stories. When you do stuff like this, the guy may not believe you in the future and he might rethink his decision of dating you. Guys don’t like twisted tales and from the starting if you start lying, then he might not trust you for anything.

Remember that one lie leads to another and another leads to many more. Be true no matter what and tell him that this is what happened and how you are related to it or how you are not related to it. If he really likes you, he will definitely understand and love you for the person you are. Remember that your new partner doesn’t a lying person like you or the act of hiding something.

7Don’t scare him about the future

See, you just started dating a few months ago,so don’t already talk about moving in or how you feel about the future. Stuff like this is only going to creep him out and he might think that you are just going at jet speed. While it is definitely nice and a feel good factor when you think about the future, it is still early for you to take a step back like that also.

First, try to think if you really want to do something like this so early in your life. You should keep in mind that everytime you decide something, you have to think if your new partner is going to react the way you want them to react or not. It cannot be easy on him and he might feel unnecessarily pressurized due to your future talks.

Don’t make things uncomfortable between you two by overthinking certain things. He will freak out for sure, so just stick to the basics. But, if you think that it is time for you to talk about the future, then you can probably open the topic slowly and soothe him into it. As of now, I would advice you to take it slow and enjoy whatever is coming your way. You have a long way to go, so marriage talks can happen later.

8Don’t lose your individuality

A lot of women give up on the person that they are because of the new relationship. They are surrounded in a world of their boyfriend , their boyfriend’s thoughts, ideas and what about what has in mind for you. Don’t let that happen to you as well ladies. It is fine to have swamped by his feelings and it is also fine to spend all the time that you have with your boyfriend. But also do certain things that you think is important for your career.

If you are a person who has been passionate about a certain hobby before meeting your boyfriend and you have totally stopped it after entering the new relationship, then retake the entire passion seriously and do the needful. If you and your partner share the same interests, then of course, the journey is going to be easier for you. It would be a benefit for your relationship and your personal self. But, if he does not understand your hobby orpassion, then it is fine for you to take a step ahead and think of yourself first. Make him understand that you love a certain thing and if he really respects your passion and your career, he will not be a hindrance at all. But ladies, don’t lose yourself just because you are in a relationship.

9Don’t ignore fights or arguments

If your boyfriend shows certain harsh tendencies or if you think that the person is weird sometimes, don’t just shrug off and not bother about it. Keep your eyes, ears and heart open to all the signs and make sure you address them at some point of time in your relationship. When you start noticing these signs, also start thinking about how you are going to drop the silence to your boyfriend. It gets easier for you to accept the basic problems between you and the guy in the relationship, in the starting stages of your new relationship.

But, if you find out all this later, you are only feeling disheartened and sorry for yourself. Remember that before you invest too much into the relationship, you have the chance to find out all the pros and cons of that relationship. If there is something wrong with your partner or if the compatibility is just not working, it is easier to nip the bud in starting stages. Don’t just turn a blind eye or a deaf ear to certain issues that you think might be important for you and the relationship.

10Finally, don’t be hard on him

Yeah, it is true that you can’t be hard on your boyfriend in the new relationship. Let’s face the fact that even you have probably made a lot of mistakes and have taken wrong decisions or made wrong judgments in your relationship. If a guy comes back to you saying that he has realized his mistake, then it is not your place to be hard on him or it is none of your business to punish him. In fact, remember that you are no one to punish him and you have no rights to make you feel bad. A lot of women don’t understand that when guys do the same thing to women, they take it as an offense and they revoke it in the most depressing way. It is the same for both the gender, so you cannot use your woman card here. Don’t try to play the blame game, then you will end up not having a dating or a love life at all.

A new Relationship as I mentioned earlier is vulnerable, fresh and definitely hard to handle. But if you handle the first few months of it, then you have nothing to worry. A simple sorry and a hug can fix anything in the world. So ladies, take care!

-Pavithra Ravi

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HerGamut is all about providing valid information about women and related issues in the current world. Our dedicated team works on all the aspects on how to spread happiness in women and guide them in various tasks through informative and interesting articles.

Hergamut is all about providing valid information about women. Our dedicated team works on all the aspects on how to spread happiness in women and guide them through informative and interesting articles.