Saturday, December 12, 2009

Stage four. We're on to stage four.

Once upon a time, I explained the various phases of wanker discourse thusly:

Unreasoning and uncompromising embrace of utterly nonsensical and indefensible position.

Subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) redefinition of basic terms to suit the argument.

Unexpected change of subject or moving of goalposts to desperately avoid impending defeat.

Sudden admission of error, accompanied by insistence that it's no big deal, why are you taking it all so seriously, like, chill out, man.

Reappearance one week later, starting all over from step one as if none of the above had ever happened.

I wonder what the lovable gun-totin' urchins at "The Torch" and their World of Warcraft peeps are up to this minute. Oh, look:

On detainees...yet again...all the time

My god, we've spent a lot of time and energy on this.

That would be one Damian Brooks who, having (I'm assuming) watched his favourite political party go full-metal fascist and dictatorial on everyone else's ass for weeks now, is clearly just plain pissed about how much effort has been simply wasted on this.

Here, Damian, let me tighten that up for you:

"Hey, it's no big deal, why are you taking it all so seriously, like, chill out, man."

And just so you know, yes, it is a burden for me being absolutely right about absolutely everything absolutely all of the time. But it's a burden I'm willing to bear. Because I love you all. *Sniff*.

4 comments:

In the last two days, the BTs have, en masse, executed a perfectly synchronized maneuver to the new position - "I don;t care about any of this, and neither does anyone else, REALLY." Quite seriously, do the rounds. Like watching a precision turn by the Snowbirds.

If you check my phases of wanker discourse, you'll notice that it predicts perfectly what's happened over the last few weeks.

There's phase one, the indefensible position; "There hasn't been a single example of torture that we're aware of. Not one!"

Followed by the careful redefinition of terms in phase two: "Those reports don't actually use the word 'torture.' Sure, beating with electrical cables, floors awash with blood and feces, but the word 'torture'? Not there!" Oh, and beating with a shoe? Apparently, not torture. And it's not like we tortured anyone ourselves -- we just handed those folks over to people that would torture them. That doesn't count.

You can follow the perfectly predictable evolution with no further help from me, I'm guessing.