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Because Donald Duck and I Share the Same Birthday . . . Which Is Today

JOE: I’ve just acquired 92 Donald Duck cartoons, which I plan to watch every single one of them multiple times. Perhaps one day you will join me in this venture.

NIC: yes, Yes, YES! OH GOD YES!

JOE: I’m hoping the process will provide some sage-like insight to the gradual decline of American optimism; how we all departed from a Mickey-like composure and into a Donald-like chaotic mélange of fruitless goals met with sporadic moments of suffering.

NIC: But is Donald really the appropriate character to describe the state of affairs today? Self-centered, angry, selfish, and petty at times, yes; but there is a blaséness today. Donald, in the end, would always step to.

JOE: Okay, so maybe Donald is the 80s and 90s, the transition of fruitlessness to which we now react with blasé. Donald is the Grunge, or Grunge is the reaction to Donald. Basically I think the appeal of Donald is that he’s Mickey’s antithesis, but not antagonist. So he’s one of the 20th century’s first cases of a widely recognized antihero. In other words: He’s the shit.

NIC: He is definitely the shit. Disney’s first antihero for sure. And he dresses like a sailor, so I’m sure he gets laid all the time.

JOE: So I’ve calculated and it would take us about 11 hours to watch all of them.

NIC: Sounds like a weekend well spent. Of course, who knows what 11 straight hours of Disney cartoons will do to our brains?

JOE: Walt does . . . did . . . no, DOES.

NIC: Either he never died, or he is living in some underground bunker, his brain kept in a supercomputer, where he monitors his vast empires and waits for the day when he can strike down every current political power and take control over the entire earth. Then it will truly be a Disneyworld. Frankly, I cannot wait for that day, simply on the fact that I would save money on ticket prices.