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Anyone else deal with this? (mostly just a vent about sd)

My SD (9) and I used to get along really well. I have been with DH for 5 years now. As she has gotten older, we seem to clash more. The main problem in my eyes is her attitude. You would think she was 16 from her attitude. And the big problem is that I don't put up with it in my home and I flat out tell her it's not acceptible. I know I'm not mom etc etc, but in my home there are rules and i expect all kids (step or bio) to follow them. She does NOT listen to me or respect me anymore.

I realize that some of this may just be her age and also that my DH and I have a son together now. He will be 1 year old in a week. Plus her wonderful BM is back in her stage of COMPLETELY ignoring her daughter b/c she has a new boyfriend who she spends all of her time and attention on.

I know with these changes kids act up. You can't even believe how desperate sd is for her BM's attention right now. She's so desperate that it's very sad and difficult to watch.

But my main thing right now is that I have NO patience left for her attitude. I am just so irritated that she always acts like such a brat now. I don't know what to do. I realize I'm not her mom, but as I've told her I am her stepmom and when she is in our home she needs to treat me like a regular person. She is not allowed to treat me with disrespect. That is how I feel. I also think that her BM's super negative attitude about everything is rubbing off on her more and more now that she's getting a little older. Especially because she doesn't want to upset her mom in any way because then bm might ignore her even more.

I love my sd, but find it increasingly difficult to put up with her bad behavior. I also feel like if we don't get things on track now, it's going to be horrendous when she actually IS a teenager.

LOL, my own BIO DD is having these issues right now. You would think her eyes would stick in the back of her head as much as they roll around in her head. It is a variety for my DD, her bio-dad is MIA again, she is getting boobs, which she hates.

She's a preteen girl. Join the club. And I have no one telling my child anything about me. She's hormonal and moody and she can't grasp that I do know some things in life because ... I've been there... And I'm a girl too... And I've had a mother MY ENTIRE life.. And and and ... It's an age thing. No one is immune.

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