Hadn’t she told him that already? “You can put it on something, or eat it plain,” Marley repeated, confused by his confusion. It wasn’t that complicated. Just like she’d explained to him at the party, Cheese Whiz was basically cheese except in a cream sort of format, so you ate it exactly the same way as cheese except instead of slicing it you had to scoop’n’spread (or just scoop’n’lick, for eating it plain, duh). And just like cheese, you could also cook with Cheese Whiz. Well, you couldn’t grate Cheese Whiz to sprinkle on pasta, but again, you could scoop it on top to melt, or mix it on the stove to make a sauce, or…

Okay, maybe it was a little complicated, after all. With his lack of experience, she guessed it made sense that Connor was confused about how to eat Cheese Whiz. Humming in thought, she glanced across the room and put together a Plan. (Or as much of a Plan as she could, being a spontaneous and generally anti-Planning type of person.) Marley set down the jar beside Connor’s plate and bounced upright, her chair scraping as she pushed it back. “Wait here!” she ordered him brightly before scampering off. Plans were kind of annoying, but the good thing about having a Plan was that she didn’t waste any time moving slowly. The dark-skinned girl felt like she literally flew past the various food tables and it seemed like seconds before she was heading back to Connor with a fresh plate between her hands.

“I got you all of the options,” she informed Connor as she slid back into the chair beside him. “See, here’s some plain pancakes, which you can just, like, spread the Cheese Whiz on. Like mock-toast. Also, celery sticks!” This one she introduced with a bit of a flourish. “Celery is great, don’t you think? We did this thing when I was a kid - well, I still do it,” she admitted, giggling again. “Basically, you put Cheese Whiz down the centre of the celery, and then sprinkle it with raisins. It’s called ‘Ants on a Log’,” Marley explained, putting the name in finger-quotes. “You can also do it with peanut butter, but the Cheese Whiz actually tastes better. Like, the raisins are sweet, and the celery crunches, and the cheese just sorta makes them go together really well. That’s why I got raisins, too,” she added as she pointed redundantly at the pile of raisins. “We can make logs!”

This was great. Marley sighed happily, her good mood making it easy to squish down the jittery flies in her stomach so that she could scooch her chair closer to Connor’s and give him a friendly bump with her shoulder. No, wait, was that weird? Too friendly? Not enough? Nope, squish, and goodbye, flies. “This is gonna be so much fun. Where d’you wanna start? You can pick!” She smiled at him encouragingly, holding out a spoon.

This was all going terribly and when Marley asked him if he trusted her, Connor couldn’t even make a sound of dissent. Of course he didn’t trust her. He wouldn’t trust her with Dade’s puffskein, and... more

Oh right. Marley had mentioned that the way to eat Cheese Whiz was either on its own or on something before - Connor had lost it in the mess of words that constantly tumbled out of his yearmate’s... more

“Well, this is a pancake breakfast, duh,” Marley pointed out cheerfully. “So that’s why I got you some plain pancakes. Plain pancakes are basically toast. Like, they’re all just bread.” Really,... more

Among the other things that Marley seemed to think were correct that were objectively not apparently included the role of toast in a breakfast. Connor was of the strict opinion that anything called... more

Connor apparently hadn't seen the humour of the pun that was literally right in front of him. (She conveniently forgot that she hadn't directly pointed it out to him, but she would probably realize... more

Marley sighed at him and Connor scowled right back at her. It wasn’t his fault that she thought touching food with her hands was acceptable. He had manners and knew better. Admittedly it wasn’t... more

Connor insisted that he wasn't scared, which Marley hadn't really expected because he was generally such an honest person. Maybe not an open person. He was really quiet, and when people were really... more

In the midst of his coughing, the last thing Connor had expected was for Marley to come up and whack him on the back, which was of course precisely why she did so. He was too busy coughing to glare,... more

Connor kept coughing for a bit, even after he took some sips of the orange juice. Was that a bad sign? Had her whack been unlucky enough to actually put him in a worse spot? Concerned, Marley kept... more