Arguably my favorite. Known for wearing a suit with no tie, getting unreasonably aggravated, pacing the floor, talking loudly on his phone, yelling at the attendants, checking the schedule (which is the same every day), and most notably, twitching.

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The Seat Toucher

I ALWAYS get on the line opposite his. Must be around my age, but I sat next to him once and, after he fell asleep, his arm and hand would make its way to my leg no matter how much I nudged it away. Not enough to be completely unacceptable by every societal standard, but enough to bug the shit out of me.

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The Popcorn Eater

He's new. He actually inspired this list! He pushes his seat all the way back and munches on an entire bag of popcorn from the terminal to Gordon's Corner! He's great.

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The Weekender

This guy is AWESOME. I only see him on Fridays but he's by far my favorite Port Authority creature. We look out for one another and save spots on the shorter line and joke that I'm bad luck and always pick the wrong line. It's about as cute as a person can get in that hell hole.

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The Nurse

She's old and adorable and I want to know what's in her bag because I think it's a puppy. (It's probably not a puppy but I so badly want it to be)

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The Cute Guy

Because there's always one, and I always hope we'll sit next to each other and fall in love like some twisted rom com with the worst setting ever.