Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Listen, I'm not really great with confrontation (unless it's some kind of food confronting my face) and I don't really have much to say about the last couple--er--few months that I've neglected you, Blog, so let's just pretend I was away doing some kind of amazing charity work, like picking up plastic grocery bags adrift in the ocean so that jellyfish wouldn't confusedly attempt to mate with them. Assuming jellyfish do not asexually reproduce... and, I mean, even if they do, it's probably good to keep them away from plastic bags so that they don't swim up all tryin' to engage in conversation and then just have to float there awkwardly while they're waiting for the plastic bag to respond, because I've been in stores without my glasses on and have apologized to mannequins for bumping into them and I'm pretty sure no other silences are as uncomfortable as when you realize you're talking to inanimate objects.

You're welcome, jellyfish.

There are things going on in my life, but that's true for everyone I know, so I don't think I need to bother with the big things. It's always the small things that matter. Or, the devil's in the details, they say. So: here are some small things.

*This week, I finished reading The Dante Club and The Hound of the Baskervilles. I have greedily started The Hobbit and The Book Thief simultaneously. If literary gluttony is a sin, I imagine I'll be in the lowest circle of that particular hell, and my contrapasso will be to only have junk mail and various sports statistics to read.

*I had an opportunity to goad my friends, family and loved ones into recommending one of my short stories for an Edgar nomination. Unfortunately, any kind of accolade rooted in nepotism would make me feel worse than not getting nominated at all. This is why I failed in Los Angeles.

*I have learned some Arabic words. Perhaps I'll try to learn the language.

*I probably have more to say, but EM is making steak fajitas and I'm bringing the booze. If that's not good enough, just pretend I'm going back out to pull plastic grocery bags from the ocean and soothingly pet the awkward, wayward jellyfish.