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Author
Topic: Dating Thread Part XXXI-School's Out For the Summer (Read 33634 times)

Queen, I'm sorry about the weed shortage. Don't you know anyone you can get some from? I sure hope so. I wouldn't want you not eating. I didn't hear about the drug bust. Around here, the most busts they have are for meth, which is a huge problem mostly over in the county next to me. Seriously, they have 2-3 meth busts a week. Anyway, I hope you can find some. I'm glad you're talking to your oldest sis. I know you've had trouble with her (and your other sis) in the past. I have a sister who talks for hours also. Every time I'm talking to her, I make excuses after about an hour and a half about having to get off the phone.

My knees have really been bothering me lately. For those who don't know, years ago, a guy pushed me down a flight of stairs. Part of the damage that was done was two fractured kneecaps. Of course I didn't (who could) stay off my feet, so that damaged them further. Then in my left one I developed a disease called avascular necrosis and the cartilage collapsed. I can't straighten it out-it just won't do it. And the cartilage is collapsing in my right cap. So, for the past couple weeks, they've been pretty stiff and achey. Every time I go see the orthopaedist, he won't even consider sugery (knee replacements) because of me having teh Aids. He says he's afraid I'll develop an infection he wouldn't be able to get rid of. WTF? I'm sure it could be done, and this doctor's afraid of liability. He did have a brace made for me a few years ago for my left knee (that cost $1,200), but I don't wear it anymore, because the velcro straps don't stick anymore. I might have to talk with my regular doc and see if he knows any ortho in town who might be able to do something. The ortho I was seeing is an excellent doc. He and his group take care of the Notre Dame football players. Maybe that's the thing-I don't have all the cash the N.D. players (or their parents) have. Dunno. OK, I'm done.

Today I have to go get some fruit at the store. Nothing else major planned. I might rent another movie. I have nothing but time right now, until I start my volunteer work somewhere, whenever that will be. I hope you ladies have a good morning. I'll be back.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Betty: sorry bout ur knee problems...what the heck does being poz have to do with getting surgery?..on your knees?/..unless ur cd4s are down or something i can see him being afraid of u getting an infection or something then....

Queen:...wow a shortage??..i hate those..i havent been smoking as much in hopes of stopping soon but i hate when i am trying to get it and cant..that racks my last nerve...

Keeping: Stay healthy girl...do the bp pills bother u?..if not, well u know what to do..i decided ima take my meds as soon as i get up..put them by my bd and take them...See if that works..hope so...Sorry about SO losing his job..what a bummer...and a fine time to do that witht hte wedding n all...hopefully he finds something soon...or get some unemployment...

Nothing really goin on today...i need to take this sew in out but im not yet even tho its a lil raggedy...this is the most tangled "tangle-free" hair i have ever bought...but at 30 a pack..and i bought 3 packs..this ish will stay in my hair till it fall out...so prob another week,,which will be 4 weeks and ill get another hairstyle...maybe some cornrows....im going to Va on the 3rd for my cousins wedding..and bf wants to hang out down there for a while so we may go to busch gardens or kings dominion on that sunday..and drive back that night....im looking forward to that..we havent been out of town together like that yet without any kids, so it should be fun...

bogged down by work... pissed off about my job fucking up the accounts and causing me to lose a lot of money, for nothing, abolutely nothing that I did wrong, I now OWE money because they breached our contracts and then re-breached the breached contracts. It's like a 3rd world country, I would never ever have expected something like that here. My boss says I should go to a lawyer (it's a hot potato and he doesnt want to confront anyone on the board on our behalf). Yeah, right. I might as well pay up now instead of pay more to a lawyer with a very slim chance of getting the money in, like, 10 years. It's about a 1/3 of what I make a year, which is slightly above minimum wage. It's like all my savings after 2.5 years of work, pretty much, about to go down the drain.

Betty strange that, when I had broken my arm and less than 200 CD4s was actually afraid of surgery but they assured me its not a problem, then I didnt need it finally. Besides, poz women have C sections all the time, unless this type of surgery has a high chance of infection for some reason, dont get it. It sounds like you wont have a choice but to fix your knees and that could really impove your life. 2nd opinion?

Wishful sounds like a fun trip though not sure what are those places.

Hows it going with the quest for the white pants? Ive been bad, thats mainly why i dropped the food thread, too depressing.

Queen - dry spell eh? bummer. well if there was something to STOP me eating Id take it, though I need to eat with the meds. provided it didnt drive me over the edge like amphetamines and that type of stuff of course.

Keeping hope youre feeling better, poor thing.

Howdy to everyone else around these parts...

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

This should've been posted by now but I got sidetracked talking to my roomie. Nothing planned for me today either but I'm thinking about calling my primary doctor to see if he got the results back to my scan. Well, I got off the phone with the nurse. I have a legion on my liver about 2.1 in diameter, not sure how big that is and a cyst on my lung. I am in complete shock but I knew something was wrong. Now I have to wait to get in to see 2 specialists. I definitely will have something to blog about.

I know its really really easy to say... but I am also going thru the resistance scare right now, waiting for results, and I try to not to let thoughts run ahead too much before knowing everything. I know you're probably frozen in panic and it's completely natural, but try not to play too many scenarios in your mind. (((Michelle)))

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

OMFG! Michelle, I am so, so sorry to hear this. You have my e-mail address if you want to get ahold of me, or you can send your phone number to my e-mail addy and I'll call you. I don't know what to say, other than I'm here for ya and you are definitely in my thoughts. {{QUEEN}}

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Betty- I agree with Wish, that doesn't make much sense about you not to be able to have knee surgery, can't you get a second opinion from someone? You spent all that money and the velcro is worn, they should replace that free of charge that is ridiculous!

Drag- That fucking sucks!! How can they hold you responsible for that money? You are a better person than me because I would be telling them to pound sand.

Wish-I hope you have a nice trip with your SO, sounds like a lot of fun!

I am still freakin miserable, talked to the therapist and cried a bit. I feel like a my theme song should be "I'm alone" that Donkey sings in Shrek. Went to see my ID doc and I still undetectable but he wouldn't give me my numbers for some reason?

Snow, I don't know everything you're going through, but I'm here for you as well. I don't know why your doctor won't give you your numbers; did you ask and he refused? That sounds really assinine to me (on his part). At least you know you're still undetectable. I'm sure if your CD4s were hitting the shitter, your vl would be elevated. But I would still insist on getting the other numbers. That's your right.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Snow: sometimes the doc is unaware of how knowledgeable we can be about our numbers...there is adoc at my id clinic that wouldnt say what my cd4 were when i asked...she just said they were fine..so i just had to reiterate what i wanted to know...and she took another look at the chart n told me...SOmetimes they make the mistake of treating all patients the same...

Drag: what the heck is goin on with that..that sounds fishy to me..you are merely an employee. how in the hell can u be liable for a company mistake??

I am so sorry Queen that the results of the scan were not all totally clear

- and I do so hope the liver and the lung thing is not anything too bad - but it is scary I know - I would give anything for none of us to have to go through this!!!!!!!!!!!

I do not have the results of my scan yet, just hope it was OK and they find nothing, but do not bank on this given how much I have abused my body in the past and with alcohol recently............................and now the HIV........................

But I really hope Queen that neither of the things they found in your scan prove to be anything to worry about.

Same to you Drag re your resistance scare, I so hope it turns out OK for you too. I know anything I can say will be inadequate..........but - My heart goes out to you both

there is adoc at my id clinic that wouldnt say what my cd4 were when i asked...she just said they were fine..so i just had to reiterate what i wanted to know...and she took another look at the chart n told me

I know I had only just found out I was HIV........but that is no reason to assume that I am not capable of finding out - and very quickly - about CD4 etc....etc ........

I am a very intelligent woman of 55 years old , who has teaching, counselling , youth work and multimedia design qualifications and many other academic qualifications as well.

So why she thought I was not capable of going on the Internet and at my library researching everything I may need to know about HIV within a couple of days, I do not know ...........

I can only assume that she assumes that as I managed to get HIV ( and she did not - so far!!!!! ) that I am mentally deficient ...........................

or generally unintelligent or ignorant - sorry it makes me angry to be treated like this.

After all it is not rocket science to find out the facts about HIV and to become knowledgeable about your numbers.

When I asked about my first numbers result, I was told 'they are not too bad' which I found bl***y patronising, especially as I had had a week waiting for my results to look up what I needed to know.

So I pressed her to tell me 'exactly' what they were and wrote them down - and continue to do this with every test result she has - including things like liver function ( which has about 5 different numbers) after all it is my body - my numbers - my life....

Makes me very angry when consultants patronise you and assume you are less intelligent/capable of learning/understanding than them.................

I know I am every bit as intelligent and academically capable as any doctor I have ever seen - I just choose a different area of work

But if I need to I can find out all I need to know about any illness that affects me!!

thx guys for the support... I agree doctors can be condescending at times, sometimes I think though they try to be protective, esp if you're new to all this... I trained mine to treat me seriously, it sure was a struggle but I am pleased to say they have changed a lot for the better. Snow hope you feel better soon. They might not do CD4s everytime, mine alternate CD4s and VL so I dont get both at once, dunno why.

about the money thing, its affecting not just me. I and others have been talking, complaining, emailing about this for 4 months, but have hit a wall. The money is not owed by us to the employer but to the tax authorities, its basically a huge blunder their accounting made concerning our tax status as foriegners, and tried to fix it but that made a bigger mess in turn, with other implications, so that I end up having to pay back tax refunds from previous years on top of having to pay extra tax on 2 years, in short its a huge cockup no one wants to be responsible for. The insanest thing is that our employer (which is btw a government employer) does not pay its share of the taxes b/c it doesnt have to, b/c we are not citizens, so all this money is just down the drain, as it doesnt allow us to have any legal rights here, like pension, social security, maternity leave, unemployment benefits, etc (I get medical care thru a private health insurance). All this is boring as hell thats why I never wrote about it before, but I was all the time thinking we could get it fixed by talking to the right people, but it seems they want us to take legal action, which of course to them is real easy as they have lawyers who are employed anyway to take care of things like this. No one wants to take legal action, nor do I, cos it will end up being much more expensive and take years to process, besides no one wants to sue a current employer... so that's is. The tax authorities couldnt care less that this is the employer's fault, and the employer couldn't care less about what they see as dispensable foreigners on temporary contracts. I just have to work extra hard to increasse my chances of getting a decent contract after this.

Thanks for letting me vent

Love ya ladies, going to bed soon, I won't let this crap spoil my mood in the longterm, it's just not worth it.

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Queen, I hope you're doing alright. I've been thinking about you all afternoon. You know, as always, we're here.

Drag, that all sounds like one big clusterfuck. I hope this doesn't break you. I would be demanding the money back from the employer.

As far as doctors trying to shelter their patients, well, I've never had a doctor do that to me, nor would I expect one to. Snow, when I have my labs done, I always tell them to send me copies. I know not all labs do this, but you might want to inquire whether your lab does.

Nothing else really to say. I mainly checked back in to check on Queen. I hope you other ladies are having a good evening (or whatever time it is where you're at).

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

My sweet Queen, I just read about the result of your scans. I'm so sorry. Hopefully the specialists will have some answers and solutions. I'll add it to my prayer list.

Drag, when I worked for a dry cleaner, my boss tried to make me pay for a mistake made by the plant. I worked behind the counter on the other side of town from where they actually cleaned the clothes. I didn't even write up the customer's ticket and they still tried to make me pay for the cleaning bill and to replace the guy's suit. I called the Better Business Bureau who promptly contacted the business and told them that they would be setting themselves up for a lawsuit if they docked any of my pay.

Betty: sorry to hear about your knees. I've known several people who've had knee replacement. It's hell to recover from, but once they did, they were amazed at the difference it made in their mobility.

I'm sporting a new 'do and I'm really happy with the way it turned out. I sat down and told the lady to do whatever she wanted. I didn't care what style she did, how much she cut off...I just needed HELP! She swung me around and I am impressed! I bought a bottle of color and will be doing that either tonight or tomorrow morning. Nothing else going on here. I'll check back in tomorrow.

Queen - Sorry about the bad news. I've had a cyst removed but it was in a noninvasive area. My late husband had leasions on his liver. I believe they gave him pills to help heal it.

I hope it turns out ok for you.

Drag - geez that sucks, vent away

Mum - Glad you got a do you where happy with.

Veritee & wishfull - good for you! its always good to hear someone is standing up and taking part in their health care.

Snow - next time refuse to leave until they give you "your" numbers. LOL they are yours, you should be able to know what they are. Just tell them flat out you wont leave the exam room until someone gives you the exact results of your tests.

I'm just sitting here messing with the computer while Billy mows the back yard. I wish one of the kids would do it for him. I did it last time so I don't feel completely guilty. I cant get "Hot stuff" by Donna Summer out of my head. I heard it on the radio today and had a chuckle thinking of the movie The full monty.

Good evening ladies. Just checking in. Queen, I hope that the lesion and cyst on your lung turns out to be harmless. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you. Sorry about the weed shortage. We go through that about twice a year. Hopefully you will get some soon. Betty, that sounds like BS , about your knee surgery. I had that hysterectomy and had no problems. Your CD4's are above 200,right. Dragonette, that doesn't sound , right. Surely there is some recourse you can take instead of having to pay. Minismum, glad you got a great new do.Always makes me feel better. Win, snow, veritee, anyone else I forgot, take care. Cristy

I am trying to deal with this latest news and all I can say is I am numb. I am scared more than anything because my Mother died of cancer and the fact is my Mother's life and mine has been kind of parallel. We seem to have gone through some of the same things. And due to how things have been going with me, I am expecting to hear the worst even when I do go see the specialist.

I have been thinking about things that I have always wanted to do and may never get the chance do them. I am thinking when I do get my stimulus check that I will say what the hell and splurge on me and get something I have been wanting. Thinking how very fucked up it is that this happening to me now with all the shit I am currently dealing with. I am feeling a flood of emotions and trying to deal with them as they hit me. I am upset and angry. But not to worry, I am not thinking of harming myself in any way. Still deciding if I should take my meds or not. Thinking I am going to leave this world without knowing what it is to be loved. Just a whole bunch of mixed up emotions.

I am trying to express my feelings here for now until I find the words to blog. I guess I am just a hot mess about now is the bottom line. I thank you all for your support and kind words. Some has offered to talk but being that my hearing is the way it is, it hard for me to talk by phone. I guess I am a text message type of girl. For now, I am speechless but will be around and jump in every now and again. I love you ladies and appreciate your concern.

First off, QUEEN, my sister , my prayers are going out to you tonite, You are going through so much , I know you are scared, a few years ago i had a growth in my stomach area and had to have a cat scan, mri and they found it was a hernia do to my hysterctomy, I was scared as shit, thought I would have to have an operation, but so far I have not thought about it much,and i'm just living with it ,unless the pain gets unbearable, I won't do anything about it. My dad died from colon cancer, so I have the same fears.Queen you are loved, very loved by these woman here on this site.Never forget that. this is real love because it is not based on how you look, or how much money you have or even what race you are, I hope you find all the love you are looking for , because you deserve it. remember god loves you and he can heal anything, have faith my sister , and I speak for all the sisters here, WE LOVE YOU QUEEN!!!!!!!!

TO ALL THE OTHER SISTERS OUT THERE BE BLESSED AND LETS SAY A PRAYER FOR QUEEN.

Thanks Netta and Betty. Everyone really who has expressed their concern. I just keep thinking the worst and trying to figure how I am going to survive this one. I'm pretty much in limbo til I see the specialist. All I want to do now is sleep to stop myself from thinking....Good Night

Queen, my thoughts are with you. What a nightmare to be thinking all those thoughts... But please listen to Netta... she said it so beautifully. Try not to let your mind run wild, although its completely natural to be concerned (and that's in understatement). Hope the time passes quickly for you till the specialist. The HIV meds have nothing to do with this, I saw that it was written to you also by Dachshund and others, stopping them now will only lead to further complications, that you don't need, esp if you have surgery, and the last thing you need is getting resistant. So pls dont stop the meds & hang in there...

Well I am all stiff this morning, been in bed dozing, always noise from neighbours around 0700 on weekdays so no sleeping in, not at work yet.

I am pissed off to no end about the money but this is the end of a struggle around it since Jan. Unless we hire a lawyer and go into extended legal battle with all the disadvantages of that, they're pissing on us and nothing we can do. I'm pretty resilient and this won't break me, just annoy me.

Mom congrats on the new hair, I expressly avoid hairdressers, you're a trustful woman...

Everyone else have a decent day, I'd say great but let's settle for decent. Decent is the new great...

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Feel really pukey this morning - side effects I think and because I tried to go without the anti emetics that so far I seem to need

I hope you feel better in the morning Queen- inadequate words but I do hope you do. I know how your head can run on and you can get so upset even before you know what your health situation is ...

As of course I did this very recently when I heard I had HIV, but had not yet been to see the consultant myself or sorted out my treatment

- and my husband was in hospital and we thought he may die and my teenage daughter choose that time not to be very nice to me and also to live elsewhere ............... so I was alone and despite knowing that things have moved on with HIV, my thoughts were about my husband dying before we had ever had time to have a proper life together - due to his job at sea and him being away more than he is home - and my becoming a very lonely old lady with HIV and dying very alone and horribly of HIV complications/infections and cancers ................................I was alone and out of my head with theses thoughts for at least 3 weeks or so .....horrible

I guess it could still happen I still have HIV and my husband is still not that well, but now I know the full picture and doing something about it - i.e taking the HIV meds, I feel better .............

For me it is the 'not knowing' that is the worse . I do not know if it works like this for others, but I have faced health crisies before HIV and once I know the full picture and start treatment and adjust to living with it in the meantime , I am a lot better ....................it is before you I get that information and can start to do something about it that sends me into depressive and suicidal thoughts

Hang on Queen, please take your medication, I am sure it will be OK

I have a hearing problem too not huge, but my hearing is apparently about 20% down so talking on the phone can be difficult - but I do not know if it is my hearing or just that I prefer text for mutual/peer support?

I think it is the later - because I can think more about what I am saying and have more time to process what others are saying ................

.................and also in a 'one on one' phone call, I have a great fear of upsetting or offending someone else who may also not be in a good place either. Because in 'real life' I am a very blunt and can be an unintentionally short, maybe too honest person ( my name Veritee which means truth is very apt) and I tend to say the F word ( and others ) jsut in conversation - my gypsy upbringing or roots I guess - and forget/don't even notice I am saying swear words and some people just do not like this and get offended. -

It's usually OK in person as I am then able to judge by their facial expressions etc what sort of language to use to express myself to them....................in writing none of this usually happens

So any sort of mutual or peer support other than text based has many fears for me and especially the phone as I both do not have time to think about what I am saying, process the reply but nor can I read body language.

Every time I hear that song I think of those men at the benefit office. That bit - and the whole film i - s somehow so uplifting despite the grimness of their situation i.e on benefits in a very financially depressed area of Britain.

And due to this the film became a bit of a cult thing.

I think because they were fighting back ...........trying to do something about their situation using the only thing they had left - their bodies- and that their bodies were very imperfect too made it all the more uplifting that they were able to find a way be so proactive in the situation they found themselves.

Love the film still and love that clip

Thanks for reminding me of it as it sort of helps me to be proactive too

tendai

Queen - i'm so sorry about the scans. I can imagine what u're going through. I'll remember you in my prayers. Please stay strong. You can survive this. We all love you and we want u around. Sending u a hug.

Betty- sorry about your knees. my boss is an orthopaedic surgeon and has done total hip replacements and other major operations on several HIV+ patients successfully. none of them developed any infections because of the operation. He makes sure the CD4 is high enough and he has a physician check out the patient first and give the green light before they go to theatre. i hope you find a surgeon who's willing to help you.

Wishful - i always get problems with these tangle-free weaves. they tangle no matter what i do. i brush and tie up my hair when i go to bed and all, use the correct moisturisers etc but sooner or later it wil tangle. its like it wants u to be in a salon every other day. at least I can get a couple weeks tangle free before it starts. its no wonder my little sister changes her hair every two weeks or so. also no wonder why i decided to cut off my hair.. Have fun on your trip

Snow- i'd demand to know what my numbers are if i were you. they're your right and you should know these things. how can they think that patients should just take their word for it when they say its not bad or 'they're fine' or whatever. with knowledge comes power and u can make sure u get the best treatment options. those guys do make mistakes sometimes you know.

Mum - good thing your hair came out great. i've changed hairdressers so many times because i'm never really happy with the results. I always seemed to pick the wrong style or the wrong person or maybe it was just my hair that was the problem. Now all i do is put it oil sheen and comb it and i'm done.

We're STILL waiting for the stupid results. most of us have resigned ourselves to another 5 years with the old fart in power as its almost guaranteed that these recounts they're doing will end up with ZANU as the winner so it'll be pretty obvious that Mugabe will remain in power until he drops dead. Or he'll kill us all first. I think u've heard about the Chinese ship that was refused entry in South Africa which was carrying a cargo of weapons bought by the Ministry of Defence and were headed for Zimbabwe. Fortunately South Africa refused to let it dock and unload and was trying to get an international court order that the ship is refused at all the other possible docks. It might try Angola or Mozambique but the Zambian president has called for all nations not to accept that ship. Who wants to be responsible for the deaths of hundreds of innocent Zimbabwean civilians at a time like this? There's not a peep of that news from here. We had to hear from it from South African News channels. At least someone is trying to help us even if its because what happens in ZImbabwe will directly affect them adversely. Coz if its war we all running straight to South Africa, Botswana, Zambia Mozambique and they gonna have to move over and make space for us refugees in their countries. Plus theres the world cup. Cant hold an international event with a war next door can u?

Tendai, I know its not funny AT ALL, but you just made me laugh with that last line of yours. Brilliant political analysis. You don't get to read that in the Economist and all those type of knowledgable publications.

China, what an honorable host for the olypics Like I wrote you I'm surpised that Israeli & Russian arm dealers didn't cash in yet... let's hope everyone will at least have the sense to not to make things worse if they have not the balls to intervene.

RM = more like a fresh turd than an old fart IMHO.

Love ya,

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

tendai

yeah what is it with China? someone needs to hold them down a bit. So what if the weapons were bought a long time ago, its the timing of their delivery thats the problem. no wonder they're such tight buddies with RM. Thank heavens for small mercies, thanks to the shortage of foreign currency the government cant buy from those arms dealers or we would probably be singing a different tune right now. thank goodness the fresh turd has alienated so many countries...

Queen, I'm still thinking about you. I hope you have a little better day today. Any word on when your doctor's appointments will be? Please do let us know. When I tested HIV+ in that treatment center, believe me, I was frantic. Like Veritee said, it's the not knowing that causes us to spin out sometimes.

Mum, I'm so glad you got a hairstyle you're comfortable with. That makes a world of difference. I rarely trust hairdressers. I have found one I like, but of course this was after going through many.

Wendy, why in the world would you feel guilty about Billy mowing the lawn?

Cristy, good to see you check in.

Drag, you seem to be handling the situation with the money pay-back well. I would be kicking and screaming, trust.

Tendai, I had not seen that story on the news regarding the Chinese shipment of weapons. Thank goodness they weren't allowed entry; I hope everyone else follows South Africa's example. What a tense situation. I can only wish the best for you; that would be so infuriating. About the knee, yeah. I don't know why this doctor seems to want to drag his feet. Maybe because I'm not a Notre Dame football player, and he would have to settle for getting paid what Medicare would pay him instead of tons of money. Who knows.

Veritee, yeah, not knowing is much worse. Getting a "diagnosis" without all the information can be maddening. About using the "f" word, hell, I use it also. I just pretty much know who I can and can't use it around. I hope your husband's health improves. Have you tried the marijuana yet?

For me, nothing today. I don't even know if I'm going to take a shower. I have nowhere to go. Saturday the Salvation Army is having dollar day (all clothes $1.00). I went to one of those before and got a Calvin Klein pair of jeans for $1.00.(!) So I might go to that. I usually clean today, but my place isn't dirty, so I'll just do what I like to call "surface" cleaning. I can't believe I have no schoolwork now, or until the end of summer.

I hope you ladies have a good morning. I'll be back.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Wendy, I was thinking the same thing before... why? Poor guy. If I were your neighbour I'd mow it for you. I kind of like that.

Queen how's it going? thinking of you.

Keeping I didn't cry but I sure swore a lot and am pretty grumpy. I'm more worried about my health and my hands getting suspiciously bony though... I guess it's a heirarchy thing. It has not been the most fun 2 days.I'm glad you feel better - most important. Just been invited to 2 weddings, one in May the other in Aug. My first Dutch weddings... the girl is always non-Dutch though. One is a poz-poz wedding.

Veritee hope you're not nautious anymore. If you still are I found that ginger boiled in water helps a lot after being advised by a nice guy here on the forums.

Just remembered that forgot to write to Sunseeker from a while back: so great the way things are working out with Whitey!

Havent heard from some women here in ages, hope they're alright - you know who you are.

Greetings to everyone...

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

I guess you can say that I am doing better today. I am accepting it more but I am still pissed and pissed at God/dess. I feel I have been through enough shit and who does he/she thinks she is!!! Uh, yeah I know it is God or whatever but I think this is pretty fucked up even for him/her. So, I am over the tears but just pissed. I'm ready for whatever and I am not going out without a fight. And should I make it through this mess, God better hook my ass up someway and I mean big time. Cause if I don't make it, there is going to be hell in heaven when I get there. Fuck a fallen angel, I may become a fallen Queen...

I have gotten the dates to see my 2 specialists, one is on the 30 which is next week and the other is on May 12th which is also the day I was suppose to go see my son's probation officer. I called him today since he knew about my cat scan since I was suppose to see him on that day too. I told him the results and explained that I had to see a specialist that day. He is being patient and am trying to see me on the 30th but understands if I can't make it in. My son is lucking out due to what is going on with me and he doesn't even know it. He doesn't know what is going on with me either.

I plan on trying to do some research on biopsies and stuff. Hope I don't freak myself out more.

Veritee, I agree with Drag about the boiled ginger. It really works. But, you said you have anti-emetics. You should probably take them. I hope you don't have too many more problems with the nausea. That's a bitch.

Queen, I'm so glad you got the appointments. I'm anxious to hear what the doctors say. Like I said in another thread, you have every right to be pissed. I would be also. Fallen Queen, eh? I love it! Just hang on, girl.

I wonder where Cin has been. It's not like her to disappear for so long.

I did nothing but sleep today. I don't know if I needed it-I just did it. I really don't have anything to add. I hope everyone has a good evening.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

WOW!!!! I swear it just gets better....My son is now in jail for shooting my nephew's gun when my nephew got jumped over a female. One of the bullets just missed a baby. I had to hear it from my sister, the one who I don't get along with. He was down at the station telling the police he is 18 when he is 17, not that it matters what age he is because of the seriousness of the crime. I'll be calling his probation officer tomorrow. A friend of my son's just came over and told me about it too and some of the foolish things my son has been doing.

I love my son but he's hard headed and I've talked to him til I am blue in the face about something like this happening. He seems to glamorize being in jail and now he is. I'll have to wait for him to be processed and get the info on him on Monday. Maybe I can get the probation officer to help me with that. I am not stressing it though because I have enough on my plate at the moment.

Queen, my daughter has done some things also that I could strangle her for. But, I know I'm not responsible for her behavior anymore, nor can I change what she does. This came at a time when you didn't need anything else, and I'm so sorry for that. Our kids have to do what we did-learn from our own mistakes.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Queen: I agree with Win on this one. I know it's easy for me to say since my oldest has barelly hit double-digits. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom. I'll pray his rock bottom isn't that far down. This isn't an easy time for you, Queen, and I'm so very sorry. I wish there was more I could do. Please know that a constant stream of prayers is heading your direction.

Tendai: I hadn't heard about the shipment either. Kudoes to South Africa for denying entry to the ship. We can only hope that all the other ports are as discerning. We are axiously watching to see what happens with your elections and the growing tension in your region. Prayers of safety for you, your family, and your countrymen are being raised. Hang in there and let us know what's happening.

Betty: what are you going to do with all that "free" time you suddenly have? It's got to feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of your shoulders, even if it's only for a few months. You are officially "that much" closer to the finish line. If anyone can do it, hun, it's you!

Drag: you hang in there, too. What goes around, comes around. Be assured that your boss is going to get his one day.

My boys had baseball games tonight. Our little t-baller did good. They can only run 1 base at a time, can only be called out at 1st base, the inning ends when everyone has batted, and no one keeps score. At the end, they get Little Debbie snacks and kool-aide. What could be better than that? When I talked to Hubby, our #2 who plays coach's pitch, was getting slaughtered. Our son plays left field (or "lefter" as he calls it) and spent most of his time picking flowers. When he went up to bat, he nearly got called out because he struck up a conversation with the catcher and told the umpire it was rude to interrupt. Maybe if they got Little Debbies and kool-aide they'd play better. At least they'd be happier at the end of the game. That group isn't home yet, so I'm sure I'll have plenty of "Stories of the Left-Handed Lefter" tomorrow.

Sleep well and only the sweetest of dreams! Hugs and kisses to you all!

As far as kids go.....I guess I have an easier time detaching from what my daughter does when she gets herself in trouble. I just know there's nothing I could have done or could do to undo it. But, I have an easier time detaching from a lot of things (people, etc). I don't know why. Age and experience I suppose. When my daughter stole my car and blew out the engine, I went to the juvenile facility when she went in front of the judge. She was brought in in shackles. It tore my heart out. But, I had to let her learn, just as I had to. Otherwise, how does one grow.

Mum, I'm hoping to volunteer somewhere this summer. There's a small homeless shelter I would like to get into. Their volunteer orientation is May 5th, and if I'm feeling up to it, I'll go. Yes, I know I'm closer to being finished and I'm happy about that. You sound like you sure have your hands full with all the kids' activities. You're an angel.

Next weekend my oldest sister and I are going to be having a sale of the stuff that's left over in my parents' house. That should be interesting. That'll be the last time I'll see the house I grew up in.

I hope you ladies are having a good evening. And I hope all who have been absent for awhile are doing alright.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Queen-That must be so heartbreaking for you, I am so sorry to hear that especially with everything else you are going through right now. I am glad to hear you will be concentrating on yourself. Have you decided to take your meds?

Betty- That must be so nice to have the summer off, you must be very happy and proud of yourself. What's this about boiled ginger? Do you drink it like tea?

Mum- Your kiddo sounds like a hot ticket. I am glad you got a haircut that you love, I always feel so much better after a cut.

Win- I can't remember where it was or what you said but, as usual, you made me laugh, so Thanks

Ten- That must be so frustrating not to have the results yet!! I can't stand watching and listening to the politicians in the U.S. so I am sure that must drive you batty.

Drag- I hope your mood improves soon, I have been feeling blah lately too, I am not really sure why? Too much going on, who knows.

I am totally drawing a blank right now, can't remember word I was going to say. I have not been able to concentrate lately.

I feel so bad ,but I had to do it. I gave away one of our ankle biters today. My oldest son took it the hardest, but since I am the only one that makes sure they get attention, fed and taken outside, I can't handle all 3 anymore. I told him she will come and visit and the people will take good care of her and that she will be happy, I just hated to do it.

I will ask my doc about my counts, I don't really care at this point, he told me I was doing good, I should be exercising everyday and at this point, I don't think I would have retained the information anyway. As I was typing I just realized there is so much of my life that I don't remember...I blocked out a lot of time when i was in the abusive relationship, after the trip lets were born, I survived on maybe 4 or 5 hrs of sleep and not all together, so I was like a zombie, can't remember much from then either BUT I know it really sucks, I hate not being able to remember shit.

Netta- How are you doing?

Keeping-I am so excited for you, 2 more weeks, I can't wait to see pics, you are and will be beautiful!!

Much love to everyone else!Veritee- I hope you are feeling better!Take care,Snow

Hello Ladies. Just got home from work. Damn Queen, you need a break. I am so sorry about your son. Seems likeeverything is happening at once for you. Research sounds like a good idea, I always feel better if I have more information . Let us know how the appointments turn out. Going to bed. good night but tired. I will respond to everyone else tomorrow. Cristy

Hello Ladies. Just got home from work. Damn Queen, you need a break. I am so sorry about your son. Seems likeeverything is happening at once for you. Research sounds like a good idea, I always feel better if I have more information . Let us know how the appointments turn out. Going to bed. good night but tired. I will respond to everyone else tomorrow. Cristy

I agree with you, I am in need of a break and think I have had more than my share of shit for 2008 and it's only April.