So heres the deal, im 16 my gf is 16 and weve decided to have sex. When the day finally came i got everythng ready and i started out by fingering her so that it would be easier for me to enter. When that was done i slipped on a condom and tried to go in. The condom went on fine and my penis went in ok too...until she started to say it really hurt and i pulled out. After that the anxiety and fear that we both had skyrocketed, but we decided to try again. For some reason once i tried to go in again my penis just wouldn't stay hard, like it was hard but not so hard that i didnt bend and it wouldnt go in. Upon the third try i got in again but it really hurt her so i decided to pull out a bit. Im jsut wondering if its normal that my dick got less hard like that or does it mean im impotent. Ive never had a problem with premature ejaculation or any other impotency symptoms. Is it because w were both extremely afraid and nervous or is it something else. I also didnt use any lubricant because the condoms were spermicidally lubricated already, could that be the problem? So needless to say my first attempt at sex went horribly wrong and i feel terrible for not making it perfect for her and incompetent because i couldnt do it right. some please help me!

**OK so things didn't go as planned, but sometimes lifes just like that. You're not impotent, you were nervous and anxiety does strange things to you, you wouldn't have got as hard as you could have done, and she would have tightened up inside, even if she wasn't aware of it, that and she probably stopped being so turned on and hence stopped producing all her slippy stuff :smile:

Next time could be worse as you will both have the memory of this time in your head, so talk about it, so you both know how you feel, use extra lubrication, for the first time you can never have too much (and it should help to ease her fear) and i would suggest if she feels comfortable enough for her to be on top - whether you're laid on your back on the bed, or another good one is you sitting in a chair all lubed up and ready :smile: that way she dictates the speed of penetration, and when it happens and can control it from start to finish, or once its been in a few times, then you can be in charge.........being in control for her will hopefully make it less painful, and you can both enjoy what should be a good time with eachother, good luck :wink:**

use alot and i mean ALOT of extra lube...my bf and i did...and it was still a little uncomfortable 4 me, cant immagen wut it would have been like without all the exta lube...and as far as being concerned about getting softer after she said she was in pain....thats just a sign that you didnt want to hurt her and were thinking more of that than haveing sex...in my book thats a really good thing. it means you care about her. just talk to her about it...maby have her explain how it felt so you 2 can try to minimise discomfort next time. and you said that you fingered her b4 you had sex, that my friend is a good idea....the only thing i would suggest is maby moveing up to 3 fingers? (slowly of cource so as not to hurt her)....thats wut my bf did...and that aided in penitration....good luck to the both of you...and remeber...just talk to her...if shes more relaxed it will be easyer

Just to add to the other excellent advice, the first time is usually pretty crappy. When guys are nervous they tend to get softer; when girls are nervous they tend to tighten up and make less lubrication, so the result isn't good. It gets better.