Lindsay Lohan throws her weight around a parking lot and says she is a ballerina. Chris Brown's latest temper tantrum includes the phrase "faggot ass." Captain America drove Chris Evans into therapy. Wednesday gossip is kind of a big deal.

Remember when Lindsay Lohanshowed her boob during a rooftop Miami photoshoot? Plum Miami finally got around to printing the LiLo edition of its magazine, but since Lindsay flaked on the promised interview, writer Jacquelynn Powers wrote about Lindsay's diva behavior instead.

Like the time she pulled strings to get her way in, hmm, a parking lot? "As we pulled up to the Fontainebleau, a bright-orange parking cone was blocking the entrance. Not accustomed to waiting, apparently, she lowered the car's window and shouted, ‘Move that cone. I'm Lindsay Lohan.' And it was done." She drank wine, even when discussing her sobriety, and was "constantly looking for drama, whether it was picking a fight with her younger sister… or freaking out over a lost pair of Zanotti heels." She said she "took ballet until she was 19 and was indignant that she was not considered for the movie Black Swan." She overstayed her welcome at nightclubs and, eventually, the entire trip: "Monday morning was supposed to be check-out time, but Lindsay and her posse refused to leave… It was like watching the lights come on at a nightclub after-hours—not pretty." The assumption was always that Plum compensated LiLo for the photoshoot ("a mellow 'working' vacation," Powers writes) and I am inclined to think that, even without the interview, it was worth it. Lindsay's much better in observation than she is in conversation.

Update: A Plum spokesperson explains Lindsay's compensation: "Plum covered all Lindsay's expenses including airfare for her and her family/entourage, lodging at the iconic Raleigh hotel in the penthouse suite and all transportation costs were absorbed by Plum." [Plum Miami, Top image via Getty, magazines images via Plum Miami, rooftop paparazzi pic via INF]

Are Scarlett Johansson and ex-husband Ryan Reynolds back on? They went to dinner and "Scarlett kept pinching Ryan's cheeks and caressing his face… Ryan would rub her back periodically." That's not sexy so much as something you would do to a baby, possibly before it burps. [Life & Style]

For the 800th time in the last, oh, two years, Brangelina is "getting married!" Hopefully they do it on the same day as Kim Kardashian's wedding, and ruin her life. [Us]

Chris Brown went on a homophobic rant at a pick-up basketball game. "That's gay! You're a faggot ass!" he reportedly hollered. Not sure what a "faggot ass" is, but the guy in this picture has a pretty nice butt, so I'm thinking a work-out franchise is in order. The Faggot Ass Diet. [Radar]

Before his sex scandal, Arnold Schwarzenegger was "bragging that he was about to sign the biggest book deal of all time." Now everyone is prodding Maria Shriver for a tell-all instead. [P6]

A bunch of Harry Potter heavyweights say Daniel Radcliffe is exaggerating about being "reliant" on alcohol in his youth. Are you allowed to call someone out on that? [Gatecrasher]

After signing on to play Captain America, Chris Evans went "into panic mode" and had to go to therapy, mostly because they forced him to commit to up to nine movies all at once. And here I thought they were only indenturing Harry Potter children at this point. [NYT]

Jennifer Aniston is supposedly doing couples therapy. By herself. This is the most inspired "Aniston is a sad lonely cat lady" rumor I have ever heard. [Celebitchy]

Hah, some ballerina called Black Swan the Freddy Krueger of the ballet world. If she is ever lesbian-seduced into violent career destruction, she could reinvent herself as a blogger. Good metaphor! [Gatecrasher]

Olivia Wilde on divorce from her Italian royalty ex-husband: "It makes you a more empathetic person, and I think it's made me a better actress." [Us]

Richard Gere went to his kid's basketball game, and spent the whole time doing yoga in the grass. Celebrity dads: Also embarrassing. [P6]

Sharon Stone, Woody Allen, Dustin Hoffman, Mickey Rourke, Kevin Costner all accidentally supported a fraudulent Russian charity with alleged ties to organized crime. Mostly, I just wanted to link to the New Yorker in a space usually reserved for Lindsay Lohan nipple updates. [New Yorker]