Scott Morrison Really Doesn’t Want To Admit He’s Not On That Stupid Bus

For the past few days, Scott Morrison has been on his big blue bus, touring around the Great State of Queensland. Except he’s actually been flying. Or maybe he hasn’t. It’s kind of hard to get a clear answer out of the dude, to be honest.

Fairfax revealed on Tuesday that Morrison has actually been using a taxpayer-funded VIP jet for most of his Queensland charm offensive. Which sort of begs the question… why have the great big stupid bus in the first place?

That’s what ABC reporter Owen Jacques tried to find out, during a doorstop press conference with the PM. But despite the fact that he’s constantly bleating about being “fair dinkum”, Morrison didn’t seem all that keen on shooting straight.

Here’s a transcript of their exchange, which is truly one of the most nonsensical things to come out of ScoMo’s time in office (so far, anyway).

JOURNALIST: Prime minister, you’re on the bus tour. Why are you flying?

PRIME MINISTER: Well the bus is going all the way up to Rockie and that’s where it was always planning to go. I mean, it’s a big state and I need to cover as much of it in four days as I can. So we were never planning to take the bus to Townsville, we’d always planned to take that last leg up to Townsville by plane because that was the most effective way to get there and to spend the most time there with people on the ground. I mean, these visits aren’t about sitting on a bus. They’re about actually engaging with small businesses and our supporters and the people of Queensland and listening to them.

JOURNALIST: Then why have the bus?

PRIME MINISTER: Because it gets me from A to B.

JOURNALIST: Will you be taking the bus to Rockhampton from here?

PRIME MINISTER: Yes. The bus will be going to Rockhampton from here. That’s right.

JOURNALIST: With you on it?

PRIME MINISTER: I’ve got to get there earlier than the bus tonight.

JOURNALIST: So you will be flying to Rockhampton?

PRIME MINISTER: I’ll get into Rockhampton tonight and I’ve got a programme tonight in Rockhampton and the bus can’t get me there quick enough so I’ve got to fly.

JOURNALIST: So you’ll be flying to Rockhampton and the bus will catch up with you and then you’ll fly onto Townsville?

PRIME MINISTER: I’ll be flying onto Townsville. And your point is what?

JOURNALIST: I’m just interested in the point of the bus if you’re not on it.

PRIME MINISTER: I am on it, I just got off it.

JOURNALIST: But not onto Rockhampton or Townsville?

PRIME MINISTER: Yeah well it’s a practical thing. I want to spend as much time on the ground with Queenslanders, and when I can be on the bus and go from place to place on the bus, that’s great. But I’m not going to sacrifice time with Queenslanders, listening to them and hearing them and talking to them about what’s important to them, just to satisfy the media’s interest in the timetable for the bus.