MLB has a tradition of sending a band of all-stars to the East after the season ends—to the MLB-Japan All-Star Series, for example. This year the great stars of MLB are headed to Taiwan for a three-game series with the Chinese Taipei national team. Wait a second, these are terrible stars!

Sure, there's Robinson Cano and Curtis Granderson, who evidently conditioned themselves to play into October and now have extra muscle mass to burn. And there's Miguel Cabrera, who, presumably, will take any chance to get out of his house.