I have, but my partner Matthew has never had an interest. Unfortunately, he’s the one with a penis in our relationship, so I made him take one for the team. TWICE.

If you browse the Fleshlight website, you’ll discover a glamorous empire of male pleasure devices. They offer up countless varieties, themes, and combinations, from mounts to MILFs to freaks to neon to camo.

It’s so cool they have a lineup of famous porn stars to choose from. You can even watch videos of them and the process of obtaining pussy, ass and mouth molds.

Our first Fleshlight was Bibi Jones. Less than a week after her Fleshlight was announced, she posted this video announcing her retirement from the porn industry on YouTube – what a downer! I admit, this is the first time I’ve seen her on film, and I hope for her sake, it’s my last.

Fleshlights are like pussy mollusks

Like I said, Fleshlights come in many varieties. You can order color, orifice, and inner design. If you remove the sleeve from the flashlight-looking compartment, it oddly resembles a geoduck.

Fleshlights are high maintenance. You have to keep them clean and use soaps that won’t damage them. Same with the lube you use – water-based only. They also suggest powdering it between uses to keep it fresh.

For best results, put the sleeve in warm water first! Makes a huge difference. TIP: The small end cap of the Fleshlight can be tightened and loosened to create the desired suction pressure.

The first time Matthew tried Bibi, he went in cold, and was NOT impressed. When he tried it again after warming it, the results were much better. Then, we got Alexis Texas and I had to get in on the action and do a side-by-side comparison, as they offered very different textures. Bibi has the popular Lotus interior, and Alexis sports the Texas Tornado style, which is twisty.

Alexis Texas is one of the newest Fleshlight styles!

Interior design – Texas Tornado!

I prepped them and fucked him with both of them, and then sat on his dick with my own real pussy. The other two had become lukewarm, so by the time he experienced my hot pussy, it practically scalded him, ha!

Honestly, it’s all very subjective. I don’t envy the man who has to choose just one. I’m intrigued by all the freaky styles, and the clear design! I wonder if you get a good view of the cock going in and out, and ejaculating. That would be hot! (OK I just watched the video and it IS hot.)

My favorite part is teasing him by rubbing his cock head up and down their lubed, super soft fleshy lips. They’re very pretty, once you get over the fact that it’s a disembodied prosthetic. I like pretending I’m sticking his dick in a brand new pussy. I also love milking him like a bull! I think it’s very sexy to have him lie back and receive the pleasure I give him – it feels empowering and kinky – a bit like reverse objectification?

Matthew preferred the Lotus texture, so we gave the barely used Alexis Texas version to our super kinky and fun-loving friend, Jimbo. (Fleshlight recommends not sharing with others.) He’s always wanted to try one and, and here is what he had to say:

I’ve always been curious about the Fleshlight but was never sure if it was worth the money, but after trying it I can safely say that it’s worth every penny! The first thing I noticed was how well put together it is. It is a very solid product and I think it would travel well. Using it was very easy, a little bit of water based lube and you are on your way! The Fleshlight has a nice subtle suction feature that is controlled by a valve at the top, a very welcome addition to toys of this nature. The model that I was using was based on Alexis Texas and had a very unique texture inside that I thoroughly enjoyed! I’m definitely curious as to how the other ones would feel. My one tiny complaint is that it is a little heavy, so if you take a little longer to climax like I do you may have to switch hands every now and again. Not a deal breaker by any means! Cleanup and after care couldn’t have been easier! Just remove the the product from the plastic sleeve turn it inside out and rinse with warm water, Fleshlight offers a cleaning Fleshwash spray as well. They also have a powder for the superskin that keeps it soft and feeling real, but I’ve found that household cornstarch has the same effect. Overall it’s a great product and I’m very happy with it!

Yes, Fleshlights are good to have around if you have limited access to the real thing, or you just feel like trying something different. A whole LOT of different! I wonder what they’ll come up with next!

She was definitely on something. I felt bad. People get into porn in their late teens, they’re enthusiastic about sex. But many have only hung out in their on group and have no idea that the rest of the world isn’t as permissive. Then they’re stunned by the shit they take everywhere.

It’s sad about the girl. Sounds more like she was getting out due to family pressure than her being traumatized by the industry. THAT… pisses me off. People need to shut the fuck up and let others live their lives… whether we agree with their choices or not. Ugh. God I hate that.

In other news…

I’ve wanted to fuck a fake pussy
in a can
I’ve wanted to fuck a fake pussy
in a van
I’ve wanted to fuck a fake pussy
on a counter
I’ve wanted to fuck a fake pussy
on another girl, while I mount her

I’ve wanted to fuck a fake pussy while eating ham
I like them, Buddha-I-am.