New Year’s resolutions

I’m waiting for your New Year’s resolution to fail, which was inevitably to work out more.

The YMCA is packed. Cardio machines are at a premium in the after-work hours. One instructor at the Y said her usually small classes are packed and standing room only. I’ve decided I’ll go again next Monday. Hopefully status quo will have returned by then.

It kind of drives me crazy because I’m always there at a bad time. I get there right after most of the high school kids have already signed out every machine for the next hour so its either wait or run on the track. Like I said, I’ll wait a couple weeks and life will be back to normal.

You know what bugs me? Those Y members who conveniently forget to sign in for the cardio equipment– jump in ahead of you, and then chat blithely on their cellphone as they maintain a leisurely pace of 0.5 mph on (your) treadmill.

Okay, that only happened once. But the following is a routine experience:

I take great pains to wipe down the equipment, while the next Y’er in line patiently watches me.
Seriously, when I finish, the key areas of the machine are literally dripping with disinfectant.

But that’s not enough. As soon as I walk away, it is immediately re-wiped with an intensity second only to the scrubbing Meryl Streep received in Silkwood.

Perhaps I give the appearance of being covered in festering chicken guts or oozing staph lesions, but I’ll tell ya, it’s enough to give a guy a complex.