Main Navigation

You are here:

Home > News > Connecting With Music: Music Therapist for Hospice Shares Story

Published on March 16, 2012

Connecting With Music: Music Therapist for Hospice Shares Story

Music therapist Katey Krull plays her guitar at the Clarissa C. Hospice House in Bettendorf.

I entered the room not knowing what to
expect, as I usually feel when I meet a
new patient. There sat a woman, reclining
in a chair, giving little response to my
questions or greetings.

I sang and played my guitar to songs that
were popular when she was young. Her
breathing relaxed, and I saw a smile open
on her face.

I was packing up when a man walked in
with the softest voice, and as I would
soon discover, the biggest heart. He
greeted me and told me he was her
husband, and he came every day. I asked
him if there were any songs he wanted
me to play. He requested a hymn, so I
played “How Great Thou Art.” I ended
up staying another 45 minutes.

In that time, the man felt more connected
to his wife and held her hand while I
played familiar love songs. He said,
“She’s holding my hand. She hasn’t done
that in a long time.” He was in awe and
asked that I come every week.

I saw the couple every week, for about
five months. There were times I would ask
his wife questions and she would
respond, which she rarely did for anyone.
I explained to her husband that the music
helped her to relax and from there, she
could open up and verbalize in ways she
couldn’t when she was anxious. The
music became a connection for the
couple. The man talked to me about their
entire life, road trips they had been on,
and the notes he left her when he would
leave for work in the mornings.

I arrived one day and a handwritten list of
songs was sitting on top of an old
hymnal. Her husband said, “I went
through the book and wrote down the
ones I thought she’d like.”

Music therapy had given him a new
purpose in their relationship. He tenderly
looked at his wife while I sang many of
the songs I knew on their list. Their
favorites were “He Leadeth Me’’ and “My
Hope Is Built on Nothing Less.” Later in
our sessions, I found out they had gone
to numerous Don Williams concerts. From
then on, we sang “Amanda” almost every
week.

As his wife’s disease progressed, more
issues of death came up. He did not
understand Alzheimer’s disease and how
it progressed, so I informed him and
comforted him. He would cry nearly every
week and apologize but found comfort in
the hymns. We would discuss the words
and when the chaplain came, he read
words from the book Isaiah in which the
song “He Leadeth Me” is derived. In the
last few weeks of her life, her husband
would call me late at night and say
“Katey, could you come tomorrow?”

The drive to the nursing home was very
familiar now, and I would arrive and
provide relaxation for both patient and
spouse.

After the patient died, I received a card
from her husband thanking me for our
visits. He said he knew his wife was
always listening. It was very special to
hear those familiar songs again that had
meant so much to them. I talked with the
nurse to ask how he was doing. She
thought he was doing very well, but if it
weren’t for the music, she didn’t think that
would be the case. The music and
fellowship meant a lot to the couple. The
comforting words of hymns and familiar
songs brought up topics they would have
been reluctant to discuss.

He disclosed a lot of information during
our sessions that I would pass on to the
hospice team, including a letter he shared
with me that his wife had written when
she knew she was dying. He gave me a
copy and allowed me to share it with the
rest of the hospice team.

These are the types of experiences that
make music therapy so rewarding.