I’ve read that journaling can be good for a person, so I’ve decided to make an attempt. This will be my first time at writing something strictly non-technical, so I am doing my best to document the experience as I go. The grand question is: where to start?

I keep thinking about Lee and Sonjiah these days. Understandable, certainly, as I have spent a great deal of time with them ever since Rob told me and Wichi that they were under Iron Sights protection. I had no idea at the time what that night was going to eventually lead to. I really should thank Rob sometime. I hope he doesn’t mind I gave Lee my kutte. She did look good with it on as she drove off, and it should help keep her dry. I can already imagine what the club is going to say when people find out Lee is wearing my jacket. I imagine they’ll be half right at the worse. Lee insists we’re just friends, and I have to remember to be fine with that.

Children are interesting things. They are entirely helpless for so many years; it makes me wonder how our race ever survived. The few times I touched the baby, Lee said “be careful” even though I thought I was being careful. The concept of natural reproduction seems so strange at times. Even “childhood” I find difficult to grasp. In many ways, I am a child. Yes, physically and mentally I am a male in my mid to late twenties, I understand that, but chronologically it has only been maybe 10 to 15 weeks since I awoke in the Clinton F.A.R.M. LifeNet facility. The genetic tests I have done since then confirm my beta status, showing I am indeed an amalgam of multiple people from various past cultures. Then there is the mystery of the false memories that still haunt me. Why do I recall things from before the fall? Whose life, or lives, am I being granted glimpses into? In this area, my research has been less than fruitful.

The drinking has helped to suppress the nightmares and nagging feelings of… an emotion I can’t entirely identify. The negative effects of the alcohol do make my fabricating of new useful devices rather difficult, but I am learning to cope. My enhancement mutations seem to dull the poisoning effects of the drinks and help me retain some degree of coordination and proper decorum, at least when in public.

If I see Kosh again, I would like to ask her more about last night. She didn’t seem well. Lee tried to help her. From what little I could observe and remember, given my stupor, I have started to hypothesize that it could be mutation related. Without access to the subject though, I can venture no further into the matter, and I don’t think Kosh is the type to amuse my curiosities gladly.

I almost have my first ATV running now. As soon as I can figure out the wiring and how to reinforce the frame I will be set. I also must remember to maintain my martial practices if I ever hope to get good at it. Perhaps the idea of learning from ancient texts is silly, but all in the name of science I figure. Besides, I could probably use another hobby to divert my attentions.