Peace of Mind: The Greatest Gift of All

When I got pregnant, I suddenly went from the most optimistic, positive person on the planet to a total doomsday prepper when it came to my baby. Instantly everything weird or different or unusual happening in my body was something horrible.

And it only got worse after Coura was born. If she was crying, something was wrong, if she was quiet, something was wrong. I had crazy dreams about dropping her, or leaving her somewhere, or forgetting to feed her. So in the real world, knowing that she was safe and taken care of no matter what, was extremely valuable.

I want to say right off the bat, that if I read this blog post a year ago, I would have been super judgemental toward the person who wrote it. I’ve been hesitant to share anything about this because of that, but I decided to be brave and write it anyway! Here is why…

To help others and give them hope if they are in a similar situation

To show my gratitude and appreciation

To bring awareness to all the options we have available as parents and future parents

When I found out I was pregnant a year ago, I had just come out a 21-year marriage where I left my ex-husband. I had spent the previous six months shacking up with friends and family, training and racing, and doing some soul-searching to figure out what was next for me. What I didn’t focus on was making money. I made enough to get by, but I didn’t have anything saved, especially for what was coming next in my life, a baby.

I wasn’t freaked out about having a baby when I found out I was pregnant, but I was a little concerned with the financial aspect. I knew if I had a completely simple, easy, normal birth, I could come up with the money to pay for it. But with all the testing, extra doctor visits, and potential issues that go along with having a “geriatric pregnancy” (yes, that is what it was called since I was 45 years old), I wasn’t sure how much more that would all cost.

I had never needed any financial assistance, so I didn’t know how it would all work or if I would even qualify, but a couple people suggested that I look into Medicaid. I did some research, filled out all the paperwork, and was accepted.

What a godsend this program was for me. It gave me so much peace of mind when it came to prenatal care, labor and delivery, and postnatal care for me and my baby. I didn’t have to decide which appointments were most important and which I could skip. I didn’t have to decide which tests I could afford and which I couldn’t. And I didn’t have to ask when given the options during my delivery how much things cost such as an epidural, the Bili light, and the supplies I use during my five-day stay in the hospital.

I also didn’t have to worry about finding the cheapest pediatrician or deciding which appointments where most importance when Coura was born. Because she was not gaining weight for the first two weeks after her birth, we had to go to her pediatrician every two days until she did. I’m so grateful I didn’t have to worry about how I was going to pay for all this help. Plus, being a stressed-out mom to be, or a worried mother, doesn’t help a struggling baby at all.

At first, I was super embarrassed being on Medicaid. Whenever I was asked who my insurance was, I hated hearing the word come out of my mouth. I thought for sure people would judge me or think I was irresponsible or that I wasn’t fit to be a mother.

But now I am just grateful.

Grateful I got the best care for me and my baby. Grateful I didn’t have the added stress to pass onto Coura before and after she was born. Grateful I can focus on spending time with her and taking care of her needs now instead of working over-time to pay off thousands of dollars in medical bills. I am just grateful.

This has also taught me not to judge others so quickly! Like I said earlier, I would have totally judged me before this! I thought people who needed financial assistance were lazy or irresponsible, or worse! I never considered they may just be going through a life change or transition or a tragedy or whatever!!

Most of us just need a little temporary help to get back on track when we’ve been side-swiped! Luckily mine was a little bundle of blessing and even luckilier (did I make up that word?) that there is a program out there to support me in supporting her!