Talking to Kids

Supper tonight was a family favorite: steaks smothered in tomato and olive sauce served with pasta.
After supper, we stay sitting around the table and chat for a while. Which is nice, right? Nice, normal family, chatting about nice, normal things.

For families that need financial aid to help pay for college, there are no dream schools. There is no early acceptance application. Your child can certainly apply to their dream school, but they need to understand that the Rolling Stones got it right: "You don't always get what you want."

The most important thing to understand about consequences is this: when simple rules and consequences are not working, when children refuse to cooperate or continue to misbehave, there is a deeper problem that will not be solved with more rules and more consequences.

When you start life as an at-home parent your infant, silence is inevitable and expected. Sure, there's crying and cooing, but unless you're caring for other kids at the talking age, you have no one to actually converse with when at home.

We may think these questions are humorous or simply small potatoes. But to the kids who pose these questions, they are not. They want answers, and although they can't articulate it, they are asking for a moment of genuine engagement

Ebola is a very scary virus and we do need to educate our children on how to stay safe and be aware of their actions. However, what we DO NOT need to do is talk around or to our children about our frustrations, fears and conspiracy theories regarding our personal beliefs.

How do we shield our children from news of these horrific events? Is it even possible? I talk to a colleague whose kindergartner has missed several days of school while the manhunt for the shooter in the woods ensues.

Nothing seems to shock us more than a diagnosis of cancer. I suspect it's terrifying because, deep inside, each of us knows it could happen to us. We pause when a friend or family member is stricken, our frightened minds turning to mush. Oh, no, we think. Am I next?

Allowing children to hone the skills needed to become productive members of society may cause a few bumps in the road now, but by doing so, they will be able to successfully navigate the twists and turns of the future so they, too, can enjoy the ride.

It wasn't a discussion I expected to have with a kid young enough to require interrupting a Disney channel show to do it. But as parents we aren't always afforded the luxury of shining a light on what a bitch the world can be when it's convenient for us.

B-Man leans forward and whispers in my ear, "When we were writing '-ay' words on our spelling boards today, someone wrote 'gay' and circled it as their favorite word. But someone else said 'gay' was a bad word. But it isn't, right?"

"Answer me this -- do you know who your child made friends with on Facebook yesterday?" Tim Woda, co-founder of UknowKids.com, poses this question whenever he discusses Internet safety with concerned parents.

The ability to talk about boys with my daughter will definitely come in handy soon. We're going to be at "that age" in no time. I don't know if me being gay is going to make it easier for her to confide in me, but if it does, great.