Thursday, May 29, 2008

This is a very sad time, I can't shake the gloomy feeling off of me. Yesterday it was 39 years ago that my dad passed away, on Sunday it will be a year for my mom. A year ago, this was her last week alive, I keep reliving it in my mind. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, she died on a Friday morning. We will be attending a Mass for her Sunday morning, then going to lunch after, just to be together. The kids and I are going to the cemetery after to see her new headstone. From there we are going to Peter's so we can plant flowers, I haven't been able to get there until now. We were going to go on Memorial Day but my car needed a major repair and I was told not to travel far. It went into the shop on Tuesday and is now ready to go.

I hope everyone had a good holiday, we just hung out at home and took it easy. Sunday was the big cook out over here for Noah and Alex. We had a very nice day, the food was awesome! I still can't believe Alex is graduating from High School. It feels like only yesterday I was dropping him off at preschool, where does the time go? (when Sherry's two oldest kids were little, I took care of them while she was at work.) One day I'm going to be saying that about my own kids, I already can't believe how big they are getting.

Last week the boys crossed over in Cub Scouts, Ted is now a Webelos 1, and Robbie is a Wolf. Tomorrow night I have a sleep over camp outing with Ted for Scouts, he's really looking forward to it. I am too, it will be nice having some one on one time with him. I need to start scheduling one on one time with all of them, or even just a boys outing and a girls outing. It's supposed to rain tomorrow, and into the night, YIKES!!!

Not much else happening here, we are just getting ready for school to end. Katie will be graduating from Kindergarten on Tuesday, she told me she is going to sing with the class. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping it all goes well for her. If she does it, what a great way for her to end the school year!

I apologize for this boring blog, my heart just isn't in it. Like I said in the beginning, I just can't shake the gloomies.

Friday, May 23, 2008

I have a lot to do today so I'm going to make this short. I have been trying to shake off this feeling of yuck and haven't been successful yet. I think it's a combination of things, most people would call it LIFE. It started last week at Katie's court of awards for Daisy Scouts. Ted's classmates were laughing at Helen who was noisy when using the bathroom. I saw it for myself, there they were outside the bathroom laughing and telling Ted, "It stinks in the bathroom, your sister is in there...", my heart dropped. I have been fortunate until now, we have only had stares, no comments. I checked on Helen, she was fine, so I went out into the hallway. Ted was standing there trying to make sense of why they were laughing, and he started to say in a very uncomfortable voice, "Well, my sister..." I interrupted by saying to the girls, "Your not laughing at her, are you?" Silence. Looking at me, they nodded their heads, one of the girls said, "No." They were looking at me like I had three heads, I said, "Because, that's not nice!" I wish I had said something mind blowing, something that would have stuck with them for the rest of their lives. I was so shaken by what I was witnessing, I really couldn't think. I went back into the bathroom to see how Helen was doing, and waited for her to finish. When we were done in the bathroom, I tracked down their leader and shared what had happened. She gathered the girls and then introduced them to Helen, and told them, "Now you have met her, the next time you see her you can tell her hello." The other day Ted got in the car and told me, "The girls said they were sorry about what happened...and then they said they didn't do anything wrong." I told him you can't apologize and in the same sentence say you did nothing wrong. I spoke with the assistant group leader who also happens to be Helen's OT at her school. She couldn't believe what had happened, she hadn't even heard about it(she was not at the meeting). They were having a meeting on Wednesday and she was going to address the issue then. She suggested that Helen join them next year for a meeting so the girls can spend time with her and see for themselves that she is just like them. I told her I would do whatever it takes to educate others on Helen's disability. This incident has opened my eyes, I let my guard down because we were at the school where I felt safe. I now know, the only safe place is at home, my guard will be up everywhere else.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

I hope all of you Mom's and Grandma's out there had a Happy Mother's Day, that includes those of you with fur babies too! I had a nice day, the weather was a bit gloomy so we stayed indoors. The kids made me nice homemade gifts at school, those are really the best. Katie's class made a cookbook, thank goodness she's talking or I wouldn't have gotten one. The teacher asked each of them what their favorite food was and how to cook it. Katie's is spaghetti, she said she never watched me cook it so she didn't know exactly how to make it. She did know you put sauce on it, and maybe cook it for 24 hours! I can't tell you how thrilled I am to see her talking at school, she is just like all the other kids now. Grace's class also did a cookbook, I sent in a recipe for her favorite dish, and the teacher talked to her about it. Grace loves pizza, so I sent in a recipe for frozen pizza. When asked how to cook it, she said, "You put it in the oven for 2 minutes." How funny, it gives you an idea of how kids interpret time. When Robbie was in preschool his recipe was for Greek meatballs, he loved when his Papou(Grandpa) would bring meatballs home from the restaurant. I got the recipe from him and sent it to school. When the cookbook came out, Robbie said he didn't know how to make meatballs but did know how to make a bologna sandwich. You take bread and put bologna on it and then put an egg on it! At the time he loved fried egg sandwiches, along with bologna sandwiches, so in his mind he just combined the two to make one awesome sandwich! I really enjoy those cookbooks!

I went to a wake on Monday night, Peter's aunt on his dad's side passed away. I'm not very close with his extended family, but felt I needed to go out of respect, and to be Peter's representative. I drove to Peter's sister Lily's house and went with her and my father-in-law, I definitely didn't want to go alone. Like Lily said, I would have been thrown to the wolves! I'm glad I went.

The end of the school year is getting very busy, the kids have field trips and picnics. We have the awards ceremony for Daisy scouts tonight, and next week we have cross over for the cub scouts. Katie has sports day coming up and then before we know it, she will be graduating from kindergarten. Time is just flying by, before I know it, I'll be getting ready for Noah to graduate from High School. Sherry's oldest is graduating this year, I can't believe it. I used to watch him when he was a baby, where does the time go? We are going to have a combined party, Alex's graduation and Noah's 3rd birthday. I think it's perfect because Alex is Noah's Godfather, what a nice memory for both of them.

I have a ton of things to get done today, so I better get started. My priority is the yard, those dandelions have got to go! Hopefully I will be able to get rid of them with the weed control I bought. The kids wanted to pick them all to make them go away, I wish it were that easy! With six kids picking dandelions, they'd have the yard cleaned up in no time at all! Not to mention the money I could have saved!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I am so exhausted and it's only Wednesday! This week is full of doctor and dentist appointments, what was I thinking!!?! On Monday Katie and Grace went to the dentist, Grace has two small cavities. Tuesday morning I took Helen into sick call because her nose is still gunky after two weeks. She has a sinus infection, again. The doctor put her on an antibiotic, she is already doing better. Today Grace had a field trip to the library, she told me Noah and I couldn't go. I asked her if it would be okay if we went, and she said, "No Mommy, it's just for me and my teachers and my friends, not for grown ups so you can't go." HA! She told me, didn't she! When I picked her up from school I asked her what parents had gone, she named all but three, I was one of the three. I said, "I could have gone after all", she said, "No Mommy, I told you, no grown ups could go!" I'd like to know what she thinks the other parents are if they're not grown ups!

Tonight was Greek school for Ted, Robbie, and Katie. Their last class is May 28th with graduation on June 1st. The teacher asked me if the kids would be there, I told her probably not because that is the one year anniversary of my mom passing away and there will be a mass for her. I don't think the teacher appreciated this, I received a blank look, I didn't quite understand. We missed the Greek school program which was in celebration of Greek Independence Day because it was our Easter, and now this. She's probably tired of this Catholic Mom who doesn't bring her Greek kids to these programs. My reasons are legitimate, but because they favor the Catholic side...I shouldn't think that way, I'm sure she understands. Helen had her last religion class for this session tonight. She got up in front of the whole school with her class (the other girl has DS, and the boy has Autism) and they signed the Our Father. Her teacher was smiling from ear to ear when she told me they did a wonderful job. Helen had perfect attendance so she was rewarded with a giant candy bar. The director told me it was big enough for the whole family, so Helen could share. I told her Helen is very good with sharing, until candy is involved, then forget it.

Tomorrow the boys have a dentist appointment, even Noah, and Grace is getting her cavities filled. Then on Friday, Grace has a doctor's appointment, her four year check up. I'm looking forward to Saturday, nothing is planned! I have no plans for Sunday either, I'm not looking forward to it. It was on Mother's Day two years ago that Peter was diagnosed with his brain tumor. Last year my mom was with me and we went to the nurseries and bought flowers for my yard. I told my brother earlier today, two people, two dogs, within two years, it has to get better for us. Thank you to my siblings for their support this past week, it has been difficult. Mickie died of cancer, Noah has asked me everyday where she is...life goes on.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Lucky me, I caught Helen's cold! I started feeling very tired last Thursday, I thought I needed more sleep. Friday rolled around and my nose started acting up, I thought it was my allergies. Saturday I woke up and felt like I had been hit by a truck, every muscle in my body ached. It was then that I realized I was sick, and boy was I sick. I'm not able to just lay in bed and sleep, so I took as many breaks as I could. The kids were actually pretty good at doing things on their own, they only needed me for meal time. The older kids were very helpful with Noah when he needed to go potty or be changed. I didn't start feeling better until yesterday, so I tried to get caught up on things around the house, I did too much! I wasn't feeling good last night, so right after all the kids were in bed, I went to bed. I'm doing much better today, I will definitely pace myself.

Our dog Mickie isn't doing very well lately, she turned 12 years old last week. The arthritis in her hind legs is starting to bother her. Ted and Robbie helped me move her kennel from the basement into my bedroom so she wouldn't have to climb the stairs. She still has to maneuver a stair in order to go outside, but at least I can help her with that one. Yesterday when I let her out I noticed blood in her stool so I dropped off a sample at the vet's office. I am hoping to hear from them this morning, that means there is a parasite of some sort and they will give her medication. If I don't hear from them, I need to take her in so they can take a look at her. I googled, blood in the stool, it gave a few things that it could be. One of the things is cancer. She is starting to look like our other dog Reggie right before he died. He was sick at the time Peter was, we didn't think he would make it through the summer, and he didn't. He died 10 days after Peter. I took him to the vet because his breathing was so labored, I knew he wouldn't be coming back home with me. Reggie was only 4 years old, he died of cancer. Last week I noticed Mickie wasn't herself, she was always around the kids when they were eating, she was nowhere to be found. She is either behind the chair in the living room, under the living room window, or in my bedroom sleeping. The other day I had to call someone to come and look at my furnace, she never got up from her spot when he arrived. Usually when the doorbell rings she is right there at the door because she thinks everyone who comes here, is here to see her! She has been eating very little, so she has lost weight. I thought maybe she had a stroke because the change in her seemed to have happened over night. I have been talking to the kids, trying to prepare them for the day it does happen. They are taking the news well, they want another dog right away. I explained to them that my heart wouldn't be ready for another dog right away, it would need to heal first. Mickie was Peter's dog, we picked her up on a trip we took to Colorado one year. I had my dog Murphy at the time, the best dog ever! Peter wanted to get Murphy a playmate, plus he wanted a dog for himself (we weren't married yet). We were just hanging out one day in Denver when he picked up a paper and went to the want ads. That same day we were going to head home, so he said, "Let's just check it out, we don't have to buy." We arrived and there were only two puppies left, a male and a female. The female was a dickens and took to Peter right away, she wanted nothing to do with me. The male and I got along very well, but they say not to get another male if you already have one, it's a dominance issue with Rotts. We were already leaning towards a female, and the way she won over Peter's heart within seconds, I knew we would be leaving with a new puppy. They had a good relationship, Mickie adored Peter, and she and Murphy got along nicely. It was always a love/hate relationship between Mickie and I, we both loved Peter. I remember waking up one night, she was sitting on the bed between Peter and I. Her head was at an angle, it reminded me of the way vultures hang their heads. She was staring at me, as if she were thinking to herself, "How the @!## can I get rid of her so I can have Peter all to myself!!?!" I told Peter the next day what I had woken up to during the night, he just laughed and said, "That's my Doo!" (her nickname is MickieDoo) So when it's her time to go, I know she will be running into the arms of the person who loved her with all of his heart, and that helps.

Until next time-Take Care,Sue

**************************UPDATE****************************We just came back from the vet's office, Mickie is gone, but will live forever in our hearts...

I'm developing a line of clothes specifically for people with Down syndrome. Let's talk about your child or other loved-one, your ideas about their clothing needs such as fit and features, Down syndrome, and clothes in general.......Sherry.

It'll Fit'll...for very special people.

It Will Fit Well

The Team!

L to R: Susie, Helen, Sherry

Purple Text

Some postings have purple text. That's where I ask directly for feedback and opinions from you. Please share your thoughts; they are invaluable. Thanks!

The link below is to the First Posting. It explains what I'm trying to do and why.