Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Companionship

As one age over the years, situation changes and perception may have a new direction with accumulated experiences thus far. What may be just a simple crush of yester years may evolved into a full fledged relationship or a sad yearning. What remains of the stubbornness during the teenage years may lead to achievements of today or regrets of yesterday. But the evolution of one heart and mind, is a truly unusual one.

The darling of present may suddenly be the cause of anguish of the future, or the frustration of today may be nothing tomorrow. In the end, all is left is just oneself, we probably came into the world alone, and will probably leave it alone. But loneiness is not unique to birth and death, because those who have never been friends with loneiness, never truly knew companionship. But companionship can be a tricky friend, it can deceive oneself from truly knowing his/her innerself, because companionship is like a chameleon, it changes with the environment. The environment can be misleading, because without showing itself, one cannot understand the extend of the companionship. Because we are all actors on the stage, no one truly is able to see their own performance, but only able to judge their performance based on interactions. Living own life in the eyes of others suck, trying to catch up with others suck, trying to outshine others suck, trying to impress others suck, seeing others trying to impress suck. Eventually, the thing that suck the most is the continuous pursuit of a bottomless pit, and me being entangled in the middle of the bottomless pit, thinking that eventually i can actually rise to the top, instead of hitting rock bottom.