A view of graffiti on a wall of a building in Kabul March 5, 2012. Picture taken March 5, 2012. PHOTO: REUTERS

Their wickedness, cruelty and horribleness lived. Either they killed the innocent or hunt the innocence. And if they didn’t, they made sure that we die of our miseries. Despite of their hatred, they sent us gifts; wrapped in bombs, weapons, hunger and lust. Survival was tough and the malevolence prevailed. The genocides were called justice and the assassins were heroes. The vulturous heroism; unkind and heartless.

The taboo was finally broken. Someone spoke against it. Someone among us revolted. People were scared to die all of a sudden, and forgot they died every day. So they themselves labeled the freedom cravers as rebels. They stabbed knife in their back and spit on their face. But few among us rose; in the time we were suppressed to death.

I wanted to join those who lived to die with honor. Those who kept on shoving every day. Bit by bit, little by little. Finally they were able to make the passage. I saw the light at the end of this dark tunnel. I was surprised but I was happy to see the first pebble drop out of the solid and firm rock. The first sign of triumph, our victory; our celebration.

The sufferings will not end all of a sudden. But we will celebrate each pain. We will entertain our insults to injury. We will laugh at our fears. Not only because we are insane but also because their atrocities will lead them to their eternal defeat.

We might have lost in the phase that did not count. But we will win when it matters the most. Our success is not desired, it is destined. But the bliss will not be manufactured. It will be earned. This success will be an overwhelming joy. This time, it would be ecstasy.

Last week I was so unhappy over something that I did not know. May be I was not that unaware. I knew why I was so gloomy, but I was trying my best to cheat myself. I tried my best to make myself believe that there was nothing wrong. But I failed. As a result there was some funny dialogue conversation between me and evil me. Here it is:

Me: Why am I so sad.

Evil Me: This guy who is sitting in front of you is the reason.

Me: What did he do?

Evil Me: He doesn’t treat you well. Whenever you try to have a little friendly conversation with him, he ignores you. I think he doesn’t like you.

Me: (This made me rueful) I hate him too. Why on earth he would dislike me. What harm did I do to him?

Evil Me: Yea, and not even him. The whole world hates you. (Evil me had an evil grin).

Me: I hate the whole world too. What does the world think of itself? Huh, I hate you world. (I screamed inside).

Evil Me: If you want to try your luck why don’t you try to ping people over skype. I am dead sure they would entertain you well, only if they care. (despite of the busiest hour of the day @work).

Me: Yea, I should give it a try. I am sure I am not that bad. And this guy, and those guys are a moron who dislike me (at this point I was cent percent sure that everyone in office had only one agenda, that is, to hate me).

The next few series of events at skype went like this:

Me: (To one of my favorite friend) Hey howdy??

Favorite Friend: Hey… !! I am good. You tell?

Me: I am fine (a lie). Wass up?

Favorite Friend: Nothing much. Hey dude, I am little stuck at office and then I have a meeting. Later then.

Me: okie dokie.

Evil Me pops in.

Evil Me: See the world doesn’t even want to talk to you.

Me: Yea, you are right. But wait he was busy, let me talk to someone else.

Then I picked up some random friend from my skype’s list.

Me: Hey jigger. Kaisa hai? (how are you).

No reply.

Me: (really desperate) there?

Still no reply.

Me: (more desperate) let me know when you are there.

Still no response.

Evil Me: hahahahhahah

Me: Shutup you, a me, ahhh whoever you muffin Evil Me. I don’t want to live anymore. I am going to die. But wait why I should die. The whole world should die.

I was pretty upset on knowing that the whole world hates me, dislikes me and doesn’t care for me. I really thought that this was end of the world, and I decided I would follow “No first ping” policy from now onwards. But then suddenly my phone bell rang.

Phone Bell: tring… tring… tring..

Oh this was mom.

Me: Hey Mom, As’salam o Alaikum

Mom: Wa Alaikum’mus Salam wa Rehmatullah. How are you?

Me: Mom a little upset (Can’t lie to mom). You tell.

Mom: Hey why upset.

Me: Nothing mom, just here and there. Everything okay, called for some reason?

Mom: Yea, just felt like talking to you so called you up.

And then me and mom talked for few more minutes, nothing important at all. But after I hung up the phone, I was feeling awesome and my moral was elevated like anything.

I looked at my skype and there were 5 or more friends saying me hello. (enough prove to show Evil Me, that people do care for me.)

I was not hating anyone anymore, including myself. Though the guy sitting in front of me was still as irritating as he was.

Life was beautiful again, and life is not that ruthless anyways. So in case someone evil from inside or outside, tries to make you feel bad, sad, gloomy or hateful. Snub him before he overcomes.

Have a nice weekend guys and a happy dappy start of week to us in gulf 🙂

Catch it, catch it. The kids were shouting and dancing around the poor uncooked and alive fowls. The hens would run for their life but one of them would have to sacrifice hers. Either of the lad would always catch one. Today was a no exception. A kiddo with shinny eyes and evil grin caught the golden brown healthy hen. He received his medal of honor in the form of claps by other sweet peers. They were mischievous but still very adorable.

Who doesn’t miss his or her childhood? So do I. I never thought I would be old and mature, and would snub my beautiful history as a child. It was so fun being a toddler. I could pick nose in public and everyone would still kiss me on cheeks. Now I am twenty five plus, few years left to cross the decade line. And believe me; I am not scared to die. But I am scared to death to get old and feeble. Yet, it was gorgeous to be feeble and not old 🙂

When I see really old people I am even scared. The bleaching hair, weakening eyesight, lesser stamina, lesser energy and fears of everything; being old is hard. No wonder people in history were so keen to find a potion so that they can always live younger. The people of today need it even bad. If anyone finds it, please share. I would take the doze twice to get back to the age of innocence, “when wounded knees were better than the bruised hearts”.

But, no one can help it. God, The Creator and Sustainer has come up with this system. He is all knowing and no one can match His wisdom. He wants us to grow old and finally return to Him; the life cycle. So that He can shower his endless blessings on us. He is Beneficent and Merciful, and I really hope He would forgive me despite of all my mistakes and laziness. And I am so thankful to Him that He has given me the heart of a kid. I hope I remain the same until I die in initial phase of this world.

I still love cartoons, I still like to prick balloons, and I would eat ice cream even when my throat won’t allow. The best, I would take chocolates as a bribe. I am a kid by nature; I don’t want to grow up. Though can’t help with growing old and getting bald … but trust me I am a responsible kid 🙂

you are responsible
you are cute
very adorable, and you understand your roots
so cheer up
lets eat chocolates
remember the fudge
just keep faith
its only a phase
would soon be gone
but the kid once dead
would never be back home
so let him cry
i know maturity would defy
but the kid inside, never let him die!

Looking at Martin in a bit of confusion I told him that I was from Pakistan.

“Ah, too sad.” Martin sighed.

“Excuse me, what do you mean?” said I. I thought he was disturbed on knowing the country I was from. But guess what, he still asked me another question.

“But don’t you have another passport, may be from Australia, UK, US or Canada?”

“No Martin. I don’t. But why?” I was bewildered.

“This is the best place to work in. But only if you have a right passport.” Martin explained.

I didn’t really get that for the couple of days. But very quickly I learnt what Martin meant.

I knew that racism is the discrimination or intolerance of people of other races, but I learnt that people can be tolerant to other races, only if someone from the other race is ready to sacrifice its own culture, beliefs, heroes, attire and a bit of this and a lot of that. The best way a person can make this sacrifice and become part of the superior race is, by changing his nationality. Yes, the sacred passport. It defines and re-defines your pay scale, your living style, your respect, honor and esteem. It may also define if you deserve peace.

Well under the new belief system; racism is not always the color of your skin. It can be the color of your passport too.

I thought
Now I would be heard
Would be listened
Will be given
Will have the life
Will have the words to share
I can speak
Won’t be teased
Would be allowed
My words would be respected
You won’t laugh at me
My ideologies would be admired
Though I still thought you won’t believe me
But my mean temptation
Is in agony and search in vain
My self-respect has been crushed again!

One fine evening, my mama forbade me to watch my favorite cartoon show. I was angry and an unhappy kid at that moment. How could my mama be so cruel? Though it was a night before my exams but still luxury of watching cartoon shows should not be taken away, because when luxury becomes a routine it’s no more a luxury. It’s a necessity. Alas, my mama did not know that.

So I had no other options except to shutoff television and open my books. But I could not let it go. So, I uttered… “Whatever you do to others, does that repeat to you?” I inquired my siblings who were elder to me… and had a little interest in the cartoons.

Looking at me in astonishment they nodded their heads and affirmed my inquiry.

And me without having any predictability of the future, made a statement.“When I will grow up, I will not let mama watch Thunder Cats either.”

I love you mom 🙂

While passing through the green field,
where meadow has a shadow,
and sun was about to sleep,
I saw birds moving back to home,
and the flock ran to rest,
hey wait mama, the poor lamb said.
His trembling little limbs,
fear in the voice,
and I could see tears in his eyes.

He was left behind his parents,
and the flock did not care,
alone in the valley,
even greenery looked so scary,
the sky turned black,
I doubted its existence,
no stars in the sky,
and moon was away that night.

The little lambkin screamed,
but his mama could not hear,
she could not see the kid disappear.

Wolves started to howl,
the lust glittered their eyes,
lamb looked at them in surprise.
And this all was so spooky,
the lambkin wished it was a dream,
he cried, shouted and shed the tears,
and woke up where his mama was combing his hair.

I am an expatriate
Living in the sand
My employer is hostile
It’s no more a barren land
Abundant glittering of gold
Shine of sprinkled stone
Blazing cruel sun
Remains the gift for the toiler
Only castle speaks the truth
Lie speaks the spoiler
Unfriendly religious sore
Brotherhood with gore
I live in the place
To get my bread and butter
But you keep me here
For the cumbersome chore
I deserve the respect
You lack admiration
This is my story
So I will utter
But with no butter!

It is entirely our fault. We go back home with a Rolex in wrist, original looking first copy of ray-ban on face and a fake smile of satisfaction. Aren’t we cheating people back home?

A witty and charming but an oppressed person. Who was standing in an unmoved queue, for the last 50 minutes finally uttered out the frustration.

Hearing his satire I looked at my attire, and not just me half of the people in queue had the similar deceptive appearance, except that mentioned smile which was now substituted by the right facial expression. Expression of aggravated fear.

About an hour ago the PIA aircraft had arrived on runway 10 minutes before its arrival time. And literally public had run towards the immigration/security clearance counters to try their fortunes. Those who were coming for the first time cursed nation and its impolite behavior. All others had no time to curse they just joined the marathon.

If the above narrations do not make sense to you then probably you have never visited the eastern airport in kingdom 🙂