God is on your side, and it’s about time people knew that. Nothing says it plainer than this piece of clothing. You have a young Jesus plastered all over the left side of this shirt. He looks so peaceful and content. You just know he’s there to stay.

Now, it may seem like there is a lot happening on this shirt.

That’s because there is.

But don’t worry – that’s all part of this shirt’s unique charm! You’ve got mushrooms in the background, sprouting from what I’m going to assume is wine. Or purple ectoplasm, depending on how stoned you are.

You’ve got pyramids just chilling in the background – because of course you have to set Jesus in Egypt – while UFO’s casually circle around them. Is it an alien invasion, or are they observing the chaos? Who knows? You certainly don’t. But that’s okay, because right above the mushrooms is this weird purple eye hovering over to the left.

It’s not even an Illuminati jab. It’s just an eye.

And amidst all that chaos, Jesus is just there, calmly nursing a bottle of something.

Isn’t that just the most symbolic, most profound message ever? Let everyone know how spiritually chill you are. You have this shirt to prove it.