Notes & Queeries: Friends and “The L Word”

This is the first installment of Malinda Lo’s new monthly column focusing on thepersonal side of pop culture for lesbians and bisexual women.

Four years ago when The L Word first premiered, I orderedShowtime, then I called a bunch of friends and invited them over for dinner andthe series premiere. Although there was a bit of dyke drama — a friend’sex-girlfriend walked out when she saw that her ex had brought a new fling withher — we mostly had a grand old time. For the next two months, my apartment wasfilled every Sunday night with lesbians watching The L Word and getting tipsy on countless bottles of wine (unlesswe drank cocktails — I can’t remember).

But then things startedto get out of hand. My friends began to invite their friends, and by the time afriend of a friend invited a woman she met at Dolores Park earlier thatweekend, I knew it was time to call the whole thing off. Thus ended my shortstint as an L Word hostess. It wasquick, exhilarating and came to an abrupt halt because of another woman. Muchlike many lesbian relationships.

Since then, The L Word has played a complicated rolein my life. As a writer for AfterEllen.com, I have essentially been forced towatch The L Word for my job. And asone of those contrary students who always hated any fiction that was assigned inEnglish class, even if I might have liked it had I discovered it myself, I havedeveloped a similar sort of feeling for Showtime’s lesbian soap.

On the one hand, thereare plenty of things to analyze — this season, for instance, I’m actuallyintrigued by the show’s attempt at a meta-narrative about itself — but at thesame time, the show often feels like an assignment to me.

I know that there areplenty of L Word viewers who feeldifferently. I’ve been astonished at how dedicated the fan base is, even goingso far as to organize international LWord conventions. This is the kind of ardor I’d only expect from sci-fifans — and I’m one of them.

But The L Word, for me, has never come close to my TV faves, The X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and BattlestarGalactica (the Katee Sackhoff version, of course). Maybe if The Planet wereactually a planet, and Jenny were some kind of super-intelligent butinscrutable alien, I would suddenly become a hard-core L Word fan. There’s something about the grandness of sciencefiction that seduces me in a way that a show like The L Word, with its more intimate dramas, will never be able todo.

Nevertheless, I watch theshow. It’s my job. And I watch the reaction to the show, and I marvel at it. Theunwavering investment in Bette and Tina’s fractured relationship, the heartfeltmourning over Dana’s death, the vitriol against Jenny — it all amazes me. Thesecharacters have clearly become touchstones for so many viewers.

The question “Which L Word character is your favorite?”— closely followed by “Which L Word characterwould you date?” — has become a standby getting-to-know-you question amonglesbians. Even though I don’t count The LWord as one of my favorite shows, I know that I would be suspicious ofanyone who answered “Papi.” (And for the record, Bette is my favoriteL Word character, but I wouldn’t dateany of them. Well, maybe Tasha, if I were forced to choose.)