Saturday, April 23, 2011

This comic is cool. Like first there's this guy and he's all "BLARG" about his computer or whatever. Then there's this turtle see and it's all "I'm a turtle" and you better fucking believe it was a turtle because that's how Randall drew it n' shit. I mean if it weren't a turtle why would it look like one and for that matter think that it was one it doesn't make any sense. Also okay so then there's another frame and the turtle just is all like check it I'm a fuckin' turtle and then there's another frame and the guy's like here it is or some shit you can't even see if it's a guy maybe it's a girl or like Megan or something (she's the blonde one right?) and shit. So then there's another panel and it's 50 years in the goddamn FUTURE and that fuckin' turtle is still sittin' there doing his turtle thing. Fuck that's awesome. And to top it all off the turtle's still all "I'm a turtle" and shit. And then like at the bottom the caption's all "Turtles have it figured out." Fuck yeah they do.

'Cuz I mean like what do people know. Do they ever like stop and think, "I'm a person?" I doubt it. They're too busy worryin' about shit that don't make sense. Like who cares about Martin Luther or like the Johnson account or some shit. Maybe you're a lady and thinkin' about lady junk who knows. But I doubt you like, stop and appreciate the fact that you're a person. You know? It's just criminal, man, how we go about our lives with our heads to the ground and not realizing who we are. But fuck that, the turtle knows who he is. He's a motherfuckin' turtle, and he's got that shit down pat. Can you believe that? Also he's like at least 50 years old and he still knows who he is. Man. Fuckin' amazing is what that is.

So yeah anyway I thought the comic was cool. I mean you don't get that kinda deepness from everyday stuff, you know? It's like just, really cool. I mean all the allegories and shit. Like with the guy (or girl?) offscreen. He's just worryin' about his computer and he's got a fuckin' turtle just running around his house. Like what the fuck. You're so focused on your little computer you don't appreciate the fuckin' shit goin' down around you, like the fact that there's a motherfuckin' turtle just sittin' there doing his thing. How do you not even notice that.

I wish I could draw as good as Randall. I mean, look at that turtle. I can't draw a turtle like that. I used to want to draw and shit but I never got into it. Just too busy looking for shit that I wasn't gonna find and didn't matter anyway.

You know what? Fuck that. I'm gonna learn to fuckin' draw. I'm gonna take an example from that fuckin' turtle and just do what I wanna fuckin' do without worrying. None of this stuff matters anyways so might as well chill like the turtle and start fuckin' drawin'. Maybe I'll draw a turtle sittin' all chill and doing his own thing. I'm not gonna be like that man or woman or manwoman because if you wanna be that too that's cool. It's good to fuckin' know who you are, take a page from that turtle there and just know. I sure am. Thanks Randall and thanks turtles everywhere.

"A webcomic, like any piece of creative art, is the sole ownership + dominion of its creator. The creator of that piece of art is God + they say what has meaning + what doesnt. If something is funny to them, then so be it. God-powers. [...] Personally if I was Randall and constantly under high expectations for xkcd, i'd probably create all kinds of pointless, inside-joke comics just to fuck with all my readers + see how upset they'd get."

I laughed aloud at "he's just worryin' about his computer and he's got a fuckin' turtle just running around his house." I'm a little ashamed about laughing about some junk I read on the internet, but there you go.

Randall is the turtle. xkcd Sucks is the man with computer troubles. Randall knows what he is and is happy to be what he is. xkcd Sucks flails about futilely trying to change that over which it has no power. Randall procures his living source of income from what he does. xkcd Sucks just perpetuates its own egotism.

Randall has discovered that great concessions to realism in language are made in order for science fiction to be accessible to readers! Stop the presses! Print no more science fiction books! We must find a universally satisfactory solution to this oversight!

If the planet had at one point been non-desert, and we assume that all of these alien planets have randomly-distributed Terran organisms on them (which is probably more likely than humans just kicking around in space for no reason), the survival of a falcon species on Tatooine isn't that improbable. Wikipedia makes it pretty clear that most species prefer grasslands and forest except during certain parts of their lifecycles, but as a matter of evolution, it's only a pebble-toss away, and the species above are already heavily resident in desert areas.

I bet Randy never played Dwarf Fortress, or he would understand why somebody could be named "Luke Skywalker" but have no relation to the English language. Or even, I don't know, read "Lord of the Rings" (which I guess he did, but he completely skipped over the languages part). Or maybe he understands his observation is stupid, but he decided to post the comic anyway because he knows fanboys will eat up any shit sandwich thrown at them.

Well, as usual, if you ignore the actual joke, the STRUCTURE of XKCD#890 is quite good. it's borderline "sleek" and "efficient". Pity it doesn't use that efficiency and sleekity to go anywhere.

For 5 minutes this morning I totally thought this comic was about Christmas, thought about writing a review that ran along the same pattern as "The Grinch [etc]". Then I realized I already wrote one that was a lot more cohesive than that. Post it, Robyn, or write a better one who cares.

How exactly does looking at the world disprove a creator? Does just seeing the complexities of our universe support the claim that everything just exploded from nothing and randomly formed a livable environment? You atheists are even stupider than Christians.

What the hell is Randall going on about Indo-European for? Does he even understand what etymology is? Is he really OK with chocolate being in Star Wars, but not falcons, or is he too stupid to adequately describe his real complaint?

What the hell is his real complaint anyway? That the movies are in English at all? While naive about the realities of hit film-making, at least that's a logical position. Or is he complaining about certain words that shouldn't have a space equivalent? Indo-European roots have nothing to do with that (if he thinks Indo-European is relevant, that goes back to not having the movies in English).

Something always gets lost in translations, Cameron.For instance: I want to say that 'Looking at you makes time stand still' in my Mother Tongue. Unfortunately what comes out is: 'Your face would stop a clock'.

I've no idea what Chinese dialect is being used in your translator programme, but Cantonese lends itself to better 'lulzy' results than Mandarin would. Mandarin has a accurate Pinyin system whereas Cantonese does not.

Welcome. Have a clear and Kletskerk I'm not a great webcomic (still used.) Oh, too many fans have been caught in the artificial cultivation of new line is part of a nerd and do not dare to admit, comics at the moment is terrible. Although still have the opportunity to new comic, I think they need more and more cynicism that intentional iron to them. It was once known as "PunkAs.com: overrated, but then was overvalued, it was terrible fall. Kletskerk so horrible. I read all comments and responses, I feel the need, but if you want to talk to me, probably respond to your e-mail

Actually, Anonymous 11:28, it wasn't a grammar or even syntax correction, it was a humourous nominative malapropism.Sorry it was wasted on you. Cameron and I will 'dumb down' our palaver for your future cognition.

Perhaps I've been too cryptic.I carry a robust 46XX karyotype. I am neither cis-, trans nor ultra norminative/gendered.I am 'standard' female.I am a girl but I appear to compose/write as a male would. The West treats its men and women differently, as does my culture, but in my culture the roles are reversed.I imply Polyandry to mean 'many legal husbands' not 'free love'.

"SirMustapha wrote: >I just discovered what Hell is like, if it exists: >It's watching a film with Randall. >I wouldn't wish that even to Randall himself.

I think Randall would enjoy that.

Two Randall clones watch A New Hope, Death Star blows up.Randall 1: Well, there's no way that that explosion could happen in space.Randall 2: Fire needs oxygen to burn, and a shock wave needs a medium to carry it.Randall 1: Gee Willikers, I was just thinking that. Randall, get out of my head!Randall 2: No Randall, get out of MY head!Both Randalls: HAHAHAHA!"

New comic is fail. "Lol, why are they using Indo-European word roots in proper nouns? So unrealistic! Hurp, they should have done the entire movie in a conlang, because I don't understand translation conventions derp derp I am a Randall."

Back in '79 I did the John BelushiIn 1992 I did the Chris FarleyIn 2008 I did the Cloverfield monsterI said fuck that shit and went back to the Belushi

It's like gas gasGas gas gasBack in the day it's likeGas gas gasI know what it takes to make things worseAnd I know what it takes to put a nigger in a hearseI'M ON CRACK(Break break break break it down)

What the hell is this?

Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.

I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.

Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.

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