2018 Grant Recipient Mac

My name is Mac, and I am a statistical anomaly.

Within the first week of my freshman year of college, I realized I was transgender. For a brief period, the sense of liberation that came with using a different name and different pronouns overshadowed the looming threat of social rejection. Not long after I bought my very first binder, the reality of my situation set in. The rejection I faced for being trans, combined with my own pre-existing mental health issues, caused my overall health to plummet. I lost my family’s financial support and was instantly thrown into debt. I saw no point in continuing my life, and for a long time, I wholly believed I had no worth.

To cope, I poured myself into my community and volunteered as much of my time as possible to help others, but being in community does not erase the heavy financial burden of gender-confirming surgeries. That burden is the kind of thing that kept me up so many nights. It pestered me while I tried to focus on classwork. It nagged me and kicked me down. Even while being so involved in the community, I knew that without surgery, I would never be able to live a full life.

I have been committed to psychiatric hospitals several times. I have been kicked out. I have been broke and hopeless and alone. Statistically, I’m doomed to fail, but if I’ve learned anything in my short life, it’s that nothing ever goes as expected.

The Jim Collins Foundation has made possible for me a surgery I didn’t think would ever happen. I am forever grateful for this chance at a new life. To everyone who has helped me along the way, especially JCF, thank you so, so much. I didn’t think I’d ever be this grateful to be an anomaly.