Before applying self-forgiveness on this point, I would like to expand on it.

With the parable of the talents I’m referring to the Christian parable that I was taught about in school when I was 12. Here it is:

13 “Therefore stay alert, because you do not know the day or the hour.
14 For it is like a man going on a journey, who summoned his slaves and
entrusted his property
to them. 15 To one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another
one, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16 The
one who had received five talents went off right away and put his money
to work270 and gained five more. 17 In the same way, the one who had
two gained two more. 18 But the one who had received one talent went out
and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money in it. 19 After a long time,
the master of those slaves came and settled his accounts with them. 20
The one who had received the five talents came and brought five more,
saying, ‘Sir, you entrusted me with five talents. See,
I have gained five more.’ 21 His master answered, ‘Well done, good and
faithful slave! You have been faithful in a few things. I will put you
in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 The one
with the two talents also came and said, ‘Sir, you entrusted two
talents to me. See, I have gained two more.’ 23 His master answered,
‘Well done, good and faithful slave! You have been faithful with a few
things. I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of
your master.’ 24 Then the one who had received the one talent came and
said, ‘Sir, I knew that you were a hard man, harvesting where you did
not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed,
25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. See,
you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered, ‘Evil and lazy
slave! So you knew that I harvest where I didn’t sow and gather where I
didn’t scatter? 27 Then you should have deposited my money with the
bankers, and on my return I would have received my money back with
interest! 28 Therefore take the talent from him and give it to the one
who has ten. 29 For the one who has will be given more, and he will have
more than enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will
be taken from him. 30 And throw that worthless slave into the outer
darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth’” (Matthew
25:13-30). 271

I remember being very confused about the outcome of the story. Because as I heard
that the first two slaves were going to invest money that wasn’t
theirs, I was like ‘wow, don’t do that – it’s not yours to spend’. And I
thought
‘well, yeah – dig it in the ground, then you’re sure you won’t be
tempted to spend it’. And then, afterwards, the lord apparently was
proud of the servants who had invested his money and multiplied it and
was pissed off with the one that had done what it had asked: safeguarded
the money and given it back.

Then the teacher went on explaining that even though ‘talents’ was a currency in that time,
that the story was a parable about talents in terms of skills – that
you can’t burry your talents into the ground but that you have to go and
develop them. But reading the story again now – there is really no
metaphor going on here – this story is just about money and how to treat
another’s money. And, it’s interesting, because I’ve been writing
about the banking system in the Economist’s Journey to Life blogs
recently and discussing how banks use money that isn’t theirs to make
more money out of it, just like in this story – lol. So – that is what
is being justified here by God: the entire banking and capitalistic
system.

Check out specifically this statement:

“For the one who has will be given more, and he will have more than
enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken
from him.”

That is exactly what we’re doing within the current capitalistic system
and this one seemingly morally important story, which they teach children
about in school – is the divine justification for it. God teaches
children: take from those who don’t have anything and give it to those
who have plenty. People – that’s how the world works. What do you think
the relationship is between the developed and the developing countries
in the world? Exactly this: Resources are taken from those who don’t
have and mostly live in poverty and are given to those who are already
living comfortable lives.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that rich people are rich due to their own merit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a person’s goodness according to the amount of money and wealth they have.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that those with money have that money because they deserve it as being better people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if
one is poor, one must have done something bad to not be blessed with a
life of richness.

Compliments & Validation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word
‘good’ and being good within and as receiving compliments from others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if
someone gives a compliment, that this compliment is a validation of be
good in some way or in some aspect of my life/myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that
someone making a remark/comment/acknowledgement of something that they see in relation to me, defines me and can changewho I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to actually define my
‘goodness’ by summing up the ‘positive’/encouraging remarks I get from
people and, as such, keep a score of all the positive reactions that I experienced within myself in relation to these remarks and define the sum total of these positive feelings, my ‘goodness’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continuously
actively try to please other people in order to get compliments from
them and feel good about myself, within the belief that the longer and
the more often I feel good about myself, the better a person I am
becoming.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to define ‘good’ within and as everything that is portrayed as ‘positive’
and ‘good’ within Christianity – such as Jesus, God and Heaven.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to believe that the answer to leading a proper life can be found within
Christianity or religion in general – where I take in the words of others
teaching about what it means to live a proper life and just accept it as truth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to try to go looking for answers in a ‘great book’ that apparently has
the knowledge of ‘good and evil’ and from where I can learn what it means to
live in a way that is appropriate – instead of just using my own common sense
and testing the points out for myself.

Being healthy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to define the word ‘good’ and ‘being good’ within and as being healthy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to believe that a person who is not healthy is a bad person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to judge people, including myself, based on a person’s health.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to define a good person as a person who is in perfect health; who is
slim, who has nice skin, who has perfect hair, who looks radiant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to believe that a person who has bad health has bad karma and that this
person is suffering because he/she has done something wrong or bad in their
life and therefore deserves to have health problems.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to, when I see someone who doesn’t meet the general ‘health standards’
think ‘ai, ai, ai – that person must have really fucked up to turn out so bad’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to believe in karma and give the concept of karma value without ever
investigating what karma is and whether it is something that really supports a
being or not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to believe that if I’m a good person, God will reward me with good
health – and thus, that if I’m ill or having health issues, that God is
punishing me for being a bad person/having done something wrong.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing
myself that the human physical body is here as a support in physically giving
us feedback in terms of our relationship with ourselves and that it’s not about
rewarding or punishing or even judging yourself as good or bad – but simply to
be able to see where you are at and what points require attention/alignment
within self.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing
myself to realise that physical illness merely reflects mental illness –
indicating that I am in some way participating in an ILLusion that is
preventing me from living life in equality and oneness, and thus, that there
exists a point where I am kidding myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to participate in the “I’m a healthy person” Character – trying to show
off how I am paying attention to what I eat and how I treat my physical body so
that others may think/perceive/believe me to be a good person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as being successful in life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define goodness within success.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my success within and as being successful in love, friendship, career and studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that in
order to be a good person I have to meet certain criteria and that these
criteria include: finding good boyfriends/a good husband, having many
good friends, having a career in which I make a lot of money and having
good grades in school, passing everything from the first time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define goodness in
terms of achievement , and specifically, that I have to be able to show
great achievements in terms of relationships, friendships, a career and
studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I
‘have something to show for myself’ in terms of relationships,
friendships, career and studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined my
value-system in relation to what I saw other people in my environment
value – thereby copying their beliefs in terms of what is apparently important in life – such as relationships, friendships, a career and studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define life itself
in terms of establishing and developing relationships, friendships, a
career and good grades.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value myself in
terms of how the system values a person – in terms of the extent in
which one integrates into the system and into their own mind
consciousness system , in creating one’s life/environment in such a way
that one is ‘trapped’ into their mind consciousness system with minimal
opportunity for self-realisation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as sacrificing oneself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I
sacrifice myself for others, that it means that I am a good person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I must be like Jesus and sacrifice myself so that others don’t have to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply accept the idea that people who sacrifice themselves so others don’t have to suffer are noble heroes that should be applauded for their goodness and selflessness.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise
and understand that self-sacrifice is just another form of self-sabotage
and doesn’t really bring any actual solutions.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that
in sacrificing myself so others don’t have to suffer, I am allowing
myself to carry other people’s burdens – burdens that they have created
themselves and are for them to face – where I will then carry everyone
else’s burden so that others may be relieved within the idea and belief
that: “It is better that just one person suffers a lot than that many
people suffer a little.”

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and
realise that playing the self-sacrifice character is just another way to
get into someone’s good graces – thinking that: “if I do this for that
person, that person will like me – or at least feel grateful or guilty
and feel like he/she has to now repay me by doing me a favour or by
being my friend.”

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and
realise that self-sacrifice is actually done from the starting point of
self-interest – so that other people will see me as ‘good’ and then, I
can feel good about myself – and/or, so that it is easier to get people
to do things for me, because good people deserve to get what they want –
and more.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and
realise that the self-sacrifice character is one of the most
manipulative and disgraceful characters of all – because in apparently
being absolutely innocent and selfless – the reasoning behind
self-sacrificing acts is always within self-interest and never has
anything to do with actually assisting other beings.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that
in doing things for someone else, I am not actually assisting or
supporting them in any way whatsoever – I am doing them a disservice,
because if they had done the point/walked the point for themselves, they
might have realised something or expanded themselves in some way – and
thus, in sacrificing myself I am actually only taking opportunities away
from others for self-growth, self-honesty
and self-correction – just so I can feel good about myself – supporting
their resistance instead of who they are as life as who they are able
and capable of being.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that
in sacrificing myself I am actually only supporting another’s
self-limitation – and thus, accepting that self-limitation within myself
as well.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
to say ‘no’ when the point of self-sacrifice comes up because I fear
that it is a bad thing not to want to sacrifice myself for others – and
that, Jesus did it, therefore I shouldn’t have a problem with it either.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to say ‘no’
when the point of self-sacrifice comes up, because I don’t want others
do dislike me for not having taken their burdens.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy people’s
friendships with ‘apparent acts of kindness’ – and believe it to be
normal and okay.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that every single friendship has always been based within manipulation of getting another person to like me vice versa.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within trying to
get to know a person – think that I have to be friends with them, and
thus, that they have to ‘approve’ me as their friend – and therefore,
try to ‘score points’ with them in who/how I am towards them so that
they will like me and approve me as a member of their friendsclub –
instead of just being here and spending time with the person without assuming I need their permission to be in their presence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe
that I cannot just be with people, but that they must give me some kind
of permission for me to be around them/speak with them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always place
myself in an inferior position to someone that seems interesting/someone
I think I might enjoy spending time
with – and therefore, wait to be ‘invited’ into their space, instead of
realising and accepting myself as equal as this person and simply being
here and sharing my hereness with this other person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always wait for
permission to speak when I am among ‘strangers’ or people I don’t know
well – because I feel like my presence might be unwanted and therefore, I
rather just sit in the background, unnoticed, while still being able to
hear
everything that’s being said, than say something that is not
‘well-received’ and then people realising I am there and thinking they’d
prefer I wasn’t.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and
realise that self-sacrifice is basically self-compromise, where I will compromise myself to make another feel better.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self-compromise to exist within and as me – instead of seeing and realising that self-compromise is never a solution to anything and therefore, unacceptable as it creates unnecessary harm.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself in the name of friendships – because I thought
and believed that without friends I was nobody in any case – therefore,
sacrificing myself for friends makes sense – because friends will make
me ‘count’, will make me ‘be someone’, will validate me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and
realise that if I sacrifice myself, there is nothing left to be
validated in the first place.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself
from others and from validation, by looking for validation within others
and defining validation in separation for myself as ‘something others
must give me’ – instead of simply validating myself as being here – I am
here – therefore, I exist, therefore I don’t need anyone else to ‘make
me into someone’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as ‘being polite’ and ‘acting like a lady’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that being polite makes one a good/better person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition myself
into believing that being polite is good in response to my parents
becoming angry, embarrassed, ashamed whenever I acted/behaved in a way that was judged as impolite.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try my best to
‘act like a lady’ because other grown-ups would pick up on ‘my good
manners’ and compliment my parents for it and then they would be proud
of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition/compose
my body in taking on the physical mannerisms and attitudes that are seen
as polite.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that polite and impolite actually exist.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that impolite is a word created from the fear of being rejected and polite a word created from the desire to be accepted and that they don’t really mean anything other than that.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to kid myself into believing that I would change as a being and actually ‘become better’ if I just acted as a different character.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to practice to become the politeness character in order to gain positive responses and thus positive feelings and energy within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ingrain the
politeness character into my physical, and thus – to actually,
physically become it as I programmed my cells to be different to as
convincingly as possible pretend to be someone I am not.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that politeness has nothing to do with who I am, because it is something that I forced unto myself in order to fit in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a polite girl.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to act in a natural, comfortable way, out of fear of people judging me as impolite and judging me and from there, rejecting me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up my
natural, comfortable self-expression to trade it with a physical
character of politeness – entirely and completely restricting and
suppressing who I am/my self-expression – betraying myself for the
acceptance of others, without realising that I never needed/required
another’s acceptance, but only required to accept myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my parents for my self-constriction, self-limitation and self-suppression through teaching
me to be polite – when it was me who accepted the instructions and
willingly, motivatedly took it upon myself to become as polite as I
could.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that
especially girls should be polite and ‘lady-like’ – that for boys it is
still acceptable if they speak/act in a loose and comfortable way, but
that it is really inappropriate for a girl to ‘let go’ of her pose and
composition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just swallow
everything grown-ups told me about who to be and how to be, without
looking at the points for myself in common sense – too blinded and consumed by the desire to be good, to be right, to be accepted, to be praised.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that woman
should never be allowed to be comfortable and natural in their
expression and their physical holding of themselves – because if they
do, they are unattractive and no-one will want to marry them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that no-one
would want to be with me/marry me if I didn’t apply and live the rules
of politeness because my parents and other grown-ups would often say
that if I continued to act like that, no guy would ever find me
attractive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live my present in service of my future
in trying to fulfill the picture I had in my mind of me getting married
– and thus, tried to do everything I could to ensure this picture from
becoming reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sit with my legs crossed to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sit with a straight back to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to eat with my mouth closed to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to eat without my elbows leaning on the table to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to smile as much as possible to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to nod my head and agree with people to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not hold my head up with my hands when sitting, to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to drag my feet in order to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to lean on things, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tuck my shirt in my pants to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to comb my hair to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to apologise before speaking in a group discussion to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to apologise to people when bumping into them to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to help someone when
they drop something by helping them pick it back up, in order to be
good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up my seat
for an old person or pregnant woman on a bus, tram, metro or train, in
order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘speak in two
words’ – by always saying ‘yes, sir’ or ‘yes, mam’ instead of just ‘yes’
– in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look people in the eye when they speak to me, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to employ the
socially accepted ways of greeting, thanking, excusing and saying
goodbye, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to greet people that
my parents or siblings know when I cross them on the street, in order to
be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to exhale/say ‘aaaaaah’ after drinking, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to slurp in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take small bites and eat slowly, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to monitor my
food-intake and eat less than normal when in company of others, in order
to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise how much of what I thought
was ‘who I am’ was merely a self-manufactured character of politeness
that I used to not have people become offended with me, and thus, reject
me and make me feel bad about their experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take it personally when other people are offended with my behaviour.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as living a regular life without asking questions, but just do as everyone else does.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have a
boyfriend so that I could be normal and like everyone else, because I thought that being in love like normal people is necessary to be a good person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look forward to
being a married woman and having a family, because I felt out of place
within myself and thought that if I did what everyone else did, then
maybe I would figure out what to do and how to be and who to be – that
everything would fall into its right place.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for answers
to my experiences within, outside of myself – believing that other
people, a husband and children, would be able to fix me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to do what is
expected of me, that I would be a good person if I just fall in love,
get married and have children just like everyone else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that doing
good means to not step on anyone’s toes by going against the norm and
therefore, to ‘go with the flow’ and just do whatever it is everyone
else is doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that you
can’t be a successful woman unless you found a man who wants to marry
you and have children with you.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that you
can’t be a good woman unless you find a man who wants to marry you and
have children with you.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that you
can’t be a good woman unless you reproduce yourself and do unto your
children what was done unto you – keeping the legacy of the
family-line/blood-line alive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that
honouring the family-line is a duty and responsibility and has important
value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that as
part of a family, it is my duty to continue that family – where, if I
were to decide to not have children, I would not only affect my own
life, but the family in itself, because I would create a ‘dead-end’ in
the family tree and increase the chances that the family line will end.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to make my
parents/aunts/uncles/grandparents proud by continuing the family line.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define family and being part of a family as ‘good’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being married/ not having children out of fear that my family will turn on me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I
‘owe’ my family children so that the family-line may continue – because
they ‘took care’ of me while growing up.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise to
what extent family is a cult – where you are brainwashed from a young
age to want to get married and have children, just to continue the
family-line – as though it is something valuable and worth doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not living up
to my family’s expectations if I weren’t to have children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I would ‘let my family down’ if I didn’t have children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel as though the
decision of having children or not is not mine to make, because it
apparently concerns the whole family – instead of realising that the
concept of family is not real in the first place, it is not something
that can be touched, that is physical – it is just a made-up concept of
relationships that tie people together in a system of control.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to have children to please my family.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a
woman who dedicates her life to her husband and children is someone who
has her priorities straightened out, because of the belief that there is
nothing more important than family.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept, believe
and live the statement: There is nothing more important than family.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’
within having high grades in school.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I score
high grades in school, that I actually am a better person.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to accept my common sense
as a child when I saw that it can’t make me special or different that I have
high scores, because I just simply understood everything and, thus, I didn’t do
anything different or better than other kids per say – the only difference is
that I just happened to understand the information as it was presented to me
and others didn’t – yet, instead allowed myself to feel good and better aboutmyself when my parents and brother were amazed with my grades to the point of
being in tears when seeing my school report.

I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am in
relation to grades – entirely taking grades personally, where I believed that
grades represent me, instead of realising that they merely represented how much
of the information was effectively integrated.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a character of being
a star pupil because in playing this card/playing out this character, I was
always ensured to get a lot of praise and attention, which in those moments
would make me feel good about myself.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my ability to
understand with ease to get attention, praise and positive energy from those
who don’t have the same ability – when obviously, I didn’t do anything to have
this ability, I was born with it, and thus it doesn’t make any sense for
someone with certain ‘born-with’ skills or abilities to be praised for those
skills or abilities – because it doesn’t have anything to do with the being –
it was determined through DNA.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make myself believe that Ireally do deserve to be praised and admired for having high grades, believing
that my ability in understanding and processing information is something I
brought about, instead of realising that I had nothing to do with it and that I
am thus no more or less than anyone else in this respect, as we were all
equally dealt cards by someone/something else.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the star pupil
character in order to hide the aspects of/in myself that I was not proud of –
because in playing the star pupil, I would be praised and be given a sense of
pride, to suppress my inner experiences of shame, guilt and regret.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, whenever I am faced with a
being that I see as authoritative, enter into the ‘star pupil character’,
trying to convince them that I always do everything right, out of fear that
they will punish me/lash out on me if they see that I really don’t.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition myself into
wanting to have high grades, because with high grades comes reward and with low
grades comes punishment.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have extreme fear of being
punished as a child as I saw that teachers/parents really looked at children
they punished with eyes that said: “You’re a bad child!!!”

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel utterly ashamed within
myself the first time I got punished by a teacher for spilling salt – because I
thought it meant that I was a bad child.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself in relation
to punishment and reward, and thus, in essence, according to how others judgeme in relation to what I do/say or how I perform.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to be seen as a bad
child and to fear to be a bad child.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to be seen as a bad
person and fear to be a bad person.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ in
separation of myself within and as being consistent within fulfilling
responsibilities and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself,
to define the word ‘bad’ in separation of myself within and as not being
consistent within fulfilling responsibilities.

Iforgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the
word ‘good’ through defining it within and as something separate from me, as
being consistent within fulfilling responsibilities.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined the word
‘good’ in relation to virtues that are encouraged by others as learned in
school and at work.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach a positive charge to
being consistent within fulfilling responsibilities, as though a being who is
consistent within fulfilling responsibilities is a better person than someone
who doesn’t.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be convinced that someone
who is not consistent within fulfilling responsibilities really is worse and
worth less as a being than someone is consistent within fulfilling
responsibilities.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a being who is
consistent within fulfilling responsibilities as a ‘good person’ and I forgive myself
for accepting and allowing myself to define a being who is not consistent
within fulfilling responsibilities as a ‘bad person’.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that in
recognizing that someone who isn’t consistent within fulfilling their
responsibilities is not a bad person doesn’t mean that it is a good person and
doesn’t mean that being inconsistent is practical and preferred within the
process of getting things done.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that being
consistent within applying oneself to perform all the necessary tasks, duties,
etc. or not has to do with where a being is within their process and doesn’t
definitively determine the essence of a being as being ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that within
defining ‘good’ within and as being consistent within fulfilling tasks, duties
and responsibilities, one is supporting the idea and perception that those who
are consistent at the moment within their process are better beings than those
who are not yet at this stage within their process, in effect supporting and
manifesting separation within supporting and feeding the construct of polarity
of superiority vs. inferiority.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being consistent
out of fear of being judged/judging myself as not being good, but as being bad
– where I then feel bad about myself.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach anxiety and fear to
the word ‘good’ through connecting anxiety and fear to being inconsistent
within my application – and thus, attempt to be consistent from a starting
point of anxiety and fear.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ in separation
of myself within the act of rescuing other beings from conditions of abuse.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the
word ‘good’ through defining the word within and as something separate from me
as the act of rescuing other beings from abuse.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that to be a
hero that apparently selflessly saves other beings from harm has nothing to do
with being good, but has everything to do with wanting to feel good through
others judging you as good.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that it is
impossible to save other beings from harm as each one is self-responsible for
their existence.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise and accept that
it is impossible to save or rescue another.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’
within and as selfless acts, wherein ‘selfless’ is to be understood as
regardless of the risk that harm may be done unto self – and not referring to
one’s starting point – since in doing these apparent ‘selfless’ acts where one
is willing to place oneself in harm’s way to prevent another from being hurt,
the starting point is still selfish/of self-interest as the desire to be seen
as a hero/a good person, to , through the eyes of others, define and validate
oneself as being a good person and thus – with the intended outcome of feeling
good about oneself.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’
within and as being a savior.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’
within and as being a ‘hero’.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that any kind
of ‘virtue’ or ‘characteristic’ of a being can never have anything to do with
what the person does or what it looks like a person does/is from the outside –
but always refers to who a being really is, which is seen within and as the
starting-point of a being’s actions or non-actions.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that the idea
and perception of being able to save/rescue someone implies the possibility of
the savior/rescuer being superior to the one being saved/rescued – instead of
accepting and allowing myself to realise and embrace that all beings are equal
and thus, no one can be saved or rescued by another, each must save/rescue
themselves.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that defining
the word ‘good’ within and as the act of rescuing/saving another from
harm/abuse implies polarity where some are and have more than others – and
thus, in effect, the word ‘good’ manifests and supports situations of abuse and
harm rather than preventing or stopping them.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise the consequences
of words and how I define words within how my living of this definition as the
word manifests not only my superficial perception of the word but also all the
implications of what I define and perceive the word to be.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be careless within words
and my definition and understanding of words, not realising that within my very
understanding and definition of a word, I am responsible for creating,
manifesting and supporting systems and situations of abuse and harm.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise and
understand how we create through words.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be willing to see,
realise and understand how we create through words because of not wanting to
take responsibility for my words, within the idea/belief/excuse/justification
that it just takes too much time to purify one’s vocabulary.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge and define a being
who performs apparent ‘selfless’ acts through attempting to save/rescue others
from harm, as being a ‘good person’ – and within that, I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to, within judging/defining/perceiving a being
who performs apparent ‘selfless’ acts through attempting to save/rescue others
from harm as a ‘good person’, validate the definition of ‘good’ as the act of
saving/rescuing another from harm so that – when I perform an apparent
‘selfless’ act through attempting to save/rescue another from harm, others will
in turn judge/define/perceive me as a ‘good person’ so that I may feel good
about myself.

In the picture above I have laid out how I have been living the word 'good' as how I have defined the word within and through my Mind. In the following blog-posts I will be deconstructing the word 'Good' as how I had defined it with self-forgiveness, to then redefine it in alignment to Oneness and Equality.

Part 1: Self-Forgiveness on
Positive Charge attached to the word ‘Good’

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a positive
energetic charge to the word ‘good’ within and as myself and my mind.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within
and as a positive energetic feeling of mind.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the essence of
the meaning of the word ‘Good’ lies within/can be found within the positiveenergetic feeling of mind that I had attached to the word ‘Good’ – instead of
realising that it is I who has attached a positive energetic feeling to the
word ‘good’ myself and thus that this feeling/charge cannot bear meaning on the
word itself as the word was here before I attached this charge to it.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel as though I am
committing sacrilege by removing the positive charge from the word ‘good’ –
believing that the connection between the word and the feeling has to be and is
supposed to be and that there will be unpleasant consequences if I try to make
such a change in my vocabulary – as though it is a crime punishable by God.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define positive feeling
energy as a feeling endowed by God himself where if I remove this energy, I am defying
God and therefore, fear that God will punish me.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’
within and as a religious construct of mind, in relation to the word and
concept of a ‘God’ that is almighty and is the final judge in terms of goodness
and badness and has as such the power and right to, within judgment, condemn
one to heaven or hell.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear God and to fear that
God will judge me as bad and herein condemn me to hell as eternal suffering,
disgrace and dishonour.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that in order to be
honourable
I must honourthe word of God.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing a ‘God’ to exist within and as me
that has more power than me.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that there is
no God existing within and as me and that the only one judging me is myself.

I
forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that the only
director and creator of my world is me and not some separate entity that exists
as an idea in the minds of men as an all-powerful being that controls, directs
and creates the world in its entirety where we are but pawns in his big plan.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself in terms of
‘goodness’ and ‘badness’.

I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be judged/judge
myself as ‘good’ and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear
to be judged/judge myself as ‘bad’.