Swelling in Legs

Has anyone had leg swelling with liver/lung cancer? My legs are swollen from the knee down to the foot and it is extraordinarily painful. The doctors told me to elevate my legs on pillows and sleep like that, but it hasn't helped me. Any ideas?

Hi Walter,
I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering through yet another awful side effect of either the illness or the treatment. Don't know anything about leg swelling, unfortunately. Glad to see you're home again, though.

Walter's had a massive brain stem stroke. He is now paralyzed on both sides of his body, has very little speech, and cannot swallow at all. He chokes on his own saliva and has this horrible rasping sound when he breaths. He looks as if he is in pain, but he cannot tell me so I can't help.

I think I'm going to sue the doctor that made him wait for an appointment, he did this to him. I'm so mad I don't know what to do.

Some say I should give him "permission" to go, but I can't let him go. I love him and I need him with me. Please tell me what I should do, I have no idea anymore.

Dana, I am so very sorry to hear this sad news. My heart is breaking for you and Walter and your children. I wish there were some words of wisdom I could send you that would ease your pain, but words seem terribly inadequate at a time like this.

I do know, from his postings here, that Walter wanted very much to protect you from all this pain. Of course, we all want to protect our loved ones; unfortunately life does not allow us to protect each other at all times.

As for letting him go...it's not like it will be "your decision" after all, it is in God's hands now. However, I do know that people in comas can still hear someone talking to them, and it's possible that Walter might be able to hear you. In that case, it might ease his mind if you can find the strength to tell him that, while you'll miss him terribly, you will survive, and it's okay for him to go. I went through this with my mother, who was in a coma for over a week before she died. The morning she died, I had been holding her hand and talking to her for several hours. Finally, I told her that I loved her and would always miss her, but that I would be okay and that if she was ready to go, she shouldn't worry about me. She opened her eyes and looked at me, took one more breath and died. I had realized that she was clinging to life because she was worried about me, and that wasn't fair to her because she was suffering. Dana, that was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but now...many years later, I am so glad that I was able to be there for her. I think what made me able to be that strong was the realization that she was going to die anyway, no matter what I did, and that the very last thing I could do for her was to ease her mind. But I can also tell you that it took a week of seeing her in a coma, barely breathing, for me to get to the point where I could let her go.

Having said all that, Dana, I also want to say that there really is no right or wrong answer here. You need to do whatever feels right to you, and try not to second-guess yourself or worry too much about what others think. Whatever you do will be the right thing for YOU.

I wish there were something else I could do, but at least know that I will be here for you whenever you want to "chat".