When I asked my American Literature I professor if I could do a short story in the style of Poe, she was ecstatic. I’m glad she was ecstatic, because this was a really fun write. It took me two days to write the initial story (Thursday and Friday) and then I spent Saturday night editing. At the beginning of the English paper I introduced the general themes running through Poe’s stories and told her my intentions. I have lost that introductory paragraph somewhere along the line. That kind of sucks, because I thought it was a great start. Edgar Allan Poe crafted a perfect murder mystery in The Cask of Amontillado. Great murders have strong motives; however, Montresor appears to have none. Is he insane? Absolutely, and that’s a perfectly rational explanation for burying a drunk old friend alive. Unfortunately for Montresor I am as stubborn as a student looking to get an excellent grade on his paper. My purpose was to expose him, and I did. Wikipedia had some excellent theories on the murder and I went to the cited works provided to find what I could.

I first saw this movie- or the end of it- on SciFi a few years ago. My mom liked it while I was still frightened of werewolves then. After ninety minutes of howling, ripped limbs, and gutted humans I finally got over my fear. Do you really want to ask why I didn’t fear this? Well, I was sitting next to my mom. Mamma Bear can kill any werewolf just by slapping it in the face. Werewolves don’t exist, but this movie almost put my fear back into them.

In the Scottish highlands a squad of British soldiers is on a training mission- or so I gathered. Unbeknownst to them a team of someone(s) was there to trap a werewolf and… I’ve said too much. Let’s just say they all grossly underestimated how many beasts were stalking them. After a lone survivor (Liam Cunningham) of the second group is found, all start hauling ass to get out of there. The werewolves have arrived. More saviors- a pretty woman (Megan Cleasby) and her dog Sam take them to a cottage.

I know the squirrel went this way guys, guys?

After this the initial shock response is handled very well under the circumstances. The military men can’t grasp the concept of werewolves until a second attack. Between the increasing number of strikes and rapidly depleting soldiers there is talk of werewolves, werewolves, conspiracy, and more werewolves. Dark comedy is strewn about- such as the dog gnawing on one of the soldiers’ exposed intestines during an attack… What? I told you it was dark…

Every event in this movie has purpose. It moves the plot along and nothing is tedious, as some horror movies tend to be. For a bunch of tough guys they are either sissies- well look at their situation, I’d be pissing my pants all over the place-, funny, or even enigmatic at points but we care about all of them before they die… Werewolves are used as men in suits (with stilts for height) and animatronic features (such as moving the muzzle and ears for realism). Director Neil Marshall was brilliant in his use of lighting, giving enough for the violence to set in.

What I’m trying to say is he doesn’t shy away from showing the audience what they’re up against with the soldiers. These werewolves are just so downright scary, brutal, and smart. Instead of going all out each werewolf goes out in waves, hiding in the dark, or other things I don’t want to ruin. Door handles aren’t a problem either. Megan reveals a neat little history for the werewolves and an unexpected event lets the wolves in.

Did I mention they're (werewolves) smart? Warning, gore and language. And an explosion, I mustn't forget the explosions.

The gore isn’t glorified even when it is in droves. This is realistic for a low budget. Like my writing, the movie just shows in an objective manner what happens in certain situations. Under the right conditions this movie is just creepy with the atmosphere too. You’ll hear the werewolves grumbling about in the dark. The constant fog and moonlight leaving the werewolves in silhouettes; which leads to terrifying jump scares.

You’ll never be bored in this movie. It simply isn’t possible. Oh and before I forget, the acting is phenomenal. Bad-ass veterans (sorta-kinda) Liam Cunningham as Captain Ryan and Sean Pertwee (holding his intestines in) as Sergeant Harry Wells are unforgettable in their roles; both men can clearly lead an entire army based off of their stern looks alone. Sam the Dog is adorable and no one would or should want that little fuzzy guy to die.

Overall this is an astounding movie which deserves far more credit. It has spirit, it has heart thudding action, and suspense. To add in there are special effects which rival CGI and blow it out of the water. The dialog is tight and realistic. Dog Soldiers is just fun-a-moment movie for adults who don’t want the experience ruined by kiddies.

Have you grown tired of vampire movies? This one sort of sticks its Romanian middle finger at the normal schlock. A young man who tries to continue his bloodline as a doctor moves in with his grandpa in a small Romanian town. Once there dogs disappear, old acquaintances turn into enemies, and vampires can't seem to stop eating everything in their path. Including pickles, for some reason.