The A to Z of me: Introverted

I is for introverted

Call in shy, call it lacking confidence, but that’s definately something that I have had to address over the years. I don’t know if there are any reasons: being the 3rd son? being in the closet for so long? happy in my own company? none of the above?

I have worked to overcome being an introverted soul and have achieved this to a certain level, though I am still uncomforable speaking on the telephone (for no obvious reason) and am not keen on making small talk, especially to strangers.

We are all a bundle of contrictions of course, as I can now “happily” speak in front of a large group and I know many people would rather cut off their big toe than to speak in front of a group of 30 people for 2 hours.

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One comment on “The A to Z of me: Introverted”

Raybeard

May 23, 2014

Realising this is about you, don’t wish to talk about me so much, but it’s almost uncanny how I can tick all the same boxes you mention – introvert, absolutely – 3rd son, me too (but 4th child) – long time closeted, ditto (till my mid-20s, in my case largely because of religious censure) – dislike phone talk, yes, so much more at ease writing e-mails/blogs – making small talk with strangers, my nightmare. If you mentioned more I wouldn’t be surprised at having even more in common.

However, I did notice something strange on this subject in my working life and wonder if you have the the same experience. I always assumed hating having to go to meetings at which one was expected to make a contribution rather than just sit there like a wallflower. But gradually it dawned on me that as long as it was a structured meeting with pre-ordained agenda I could not only get on well in it but actually found myself enjoying, even thriving in that scenario, and would often find myself taking the lead and contributing the lion’s share, having to hold myself back in case I’d be viewed as a ‘show-off’ (which I’m sure I was on more than a few occasions). It seemed so unlike the way I am outside that world that I not only surprised myself but astonished others who knew me as a rather timid soul. I also got a fair amount of respect as being particularly knowledgeable in my then field (of capital finance).
So I’m wondering if you’ve also found yourself in certain special circumstances (not necessarily only at work), in which you find yourself behaving in a way that you wish was the case at all other times in your life. I’d be interested to know if this is a phenomenon not particular to me alone.