If I see one more talk show [i.e. Dr. Phil] that features a woman falling victim to some man on a dating site – losing her heart or her cash or both – and that woman says, “Any woman would’ve fallen for that/him, etc. . . .”

I’m going to book a flight to the city, ask the show to find this woman and I’m going to smack her in the face, telling her, “Speak for yourself, freak!”

No, I don’t condone violence. But, foolish women, STOP SPEAKING FOR ME. No, I would not fall for that, or him! I don’t believe most of the men I meet in person who wax poetic on my ass, or my face, for that matter.

And why is it always a woman like me – overweight, middle-aged and single?

Difference is, I give women like myself a good name. I don’t fall for it! Why are you?! You’re making us look stupid.

Of course, maybe many woman of my description are stupid, or lack confidence, and want to believe every manufactured word some random stranger – claiming to be an eligible male – utters in an email, text, Facebook, twitter or on the phone.

Sorry, I don’t believe in love at first text, email or even love at first sight. Never have. Never will. Let me explain that I know “attraction at first sight” or “lust at first sight” certainly does exist and is alive and present. Nevertheless, love? Love is precious, it must build. It may be with someone you’re immediately attracted to, also. Still, as Dr. Phil states, wisely: Don’t marry him or her until you’ve seen them with the flu. [Although, since I take a flu shot every year, this may not apply for me.]

Do I know what true love is? I will say I do. I heard it somewhere, felt it many times and still have it for each and every man I’ve dated and/or loved.

True love – I do not remember where I read it or heard it – is “wanting the other person’s good.” Unconditional. Even if the other person’s good is to NOT be with you. If you truly love someone you would want them to be happy in their life, with or without you. Thank you, Bono!

Romantic love, on the other hand is very “conditional”. You want that person with you, and only you. You want only that person. You call him or her your soulmate, your other half. You feel your life will never be complete without him or her in your very life, your grip. Conditional. Fun, yes! Wonderful, yes – if she or he reciprocates that love. Miserable — if they do not or cannot.

No way can that conditional type of love be proven by a voice on the phone of someone you’ve never laid eyes on; not in real life, at least. What is their body language when in a room with you? Does their very smell turn you on, or off? You cannot know unless you have met in person!

Yes, there have been stories of romance found on the internet.

Yet, if someone contacts you, in New York, and says he’s from New Jersey, but doing his engineering work in Nepal [this type approached me on email once] – with no specific return date; no banks in sight; wants to spend his life with you; thinks you’re the most gorgeous woman in the world (even though you’ve never met in person) . . . RUN AWAY! This is a scam artist, a fake and you are one of many they find on dating sites!

This person contacting you, with all the pretty words, is married or living with someone, or a woman (and you think it’s a man), or a horny teenager who can write maturely.

American Ladies: No matter how lonely you are – no matter how sure you are that no man in your area of the world is going to treat you well . . . stop making us the laughing-stock of the scam world, as these scam artists count the money you send them for their airplane tickets (to meet you) or start your life together! It’s a lie! A con!

Learn the difference between being alone and loneliness. You are complete, as you are. A man should ADD to your already incredible life – not make it happy [It should already be happy]. It’s not his job! It’s the best job, the most rewarding, to find your own happiness. You have complete control of this.

The control is your thoughts, your feelings. You don’t have to blame anyone, nor yourself. Just change your mind.

Clicking on my photos often leads to links.

A habit is a thought you think over and over again. It doesn’t make it true. Yet, we believe it’s true, because we think it over and over. Step one is to note your negative thoughts:

Thought one: No man will love me because I’m fat.Now ask yourself, logically: Is this true?Answer: NO, many fat women have husbands, lovers, lives, and joy.Thought two: There no love after 40.Question: Is this true?Answer: Of course not! People fall in love into their 90s! [FACT: A constant problem in most old age homes is keeping the men and women from having sex, or trying to, at least!]

Also, you attract to yourself what you believe about yourself. You can find a man, once you realize, you don’t truly need one to be fulfilled in life. In fact, most people find the very thing you want (be it a man, a job) etc., comes when you realize and recognize you are happy as you are, at this very moment.

Find the things, people to appreciate right now. Start with what you appreciate about YOU.

Not saying I’m perfect, either. We’re all a work in progress and no one reaches perfection. Nevertheless, I appreciate my body because it is functioning. I can walk, I can type, I can use all my limbs and even though I’m plump – for the most part, I’m pretty damn healthy!

As for my love life – it’s a little boring. I was masturbating awhile back and my hand fell asleep! Still, I have my hands for that and many other purposes, even if it [my hand] or they [other limbs] fall asleep once in a while. I have them!

For those men out there, now madly in love with me – and I am an incredible girlfriend [I must admit] – you must live here [New York] or be wealthy enough, at my beck and call – to get on a plane [first class] and meet me at Starbucks in Chelsea at 4:00 pm next Thursday for our first half hour date.

If that goes well, we will arrange for a dinner date the next couple of days or the next week.

Then, and only then, after some in-person dates/discussions – we will see if I’m willing to do a long-distance dating thing, temporarily! We can then talk about texting, emailing, facebooking, etc.

Still, I like my men LIVE FROM NEW YORK CITY! At least, while I still live here.

A wonderful article on how we look at ourselves! Kudos! Coming from me and my fat body!!! I need to read this often . . .

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