Apr 23, 2012

God Had a Plan for My Life!

Psalm 46:1-2 “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though
the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; (NKJV).”

For much of my life, I believed in God but I had no faith. Therefore, I allowed life's painful trials to overwhelm me. Since, I didn’t know to turn to God during the most terrifying moments of my life, I carried the weight of confusion, guilt and pain from these events around with me for years. Then, in October 2008, God put an end to my pain and suffering. http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/my-personal-testimony.html

Now when I feel sadness from life's trials and tribulations, I simply cry out for God to rescue me, wipe away my tears and hold me close!

Perhaps my father’s fall from God’s grace occurred long before my parents met. I am not sure how many years he had been drinking alcohol, but the problem became severe by the time I was six-years-old.

One day, at around age six, my biological father fell from the roof of our home. He had been drinking alcohol earlier that day and was supposed to be watching my older sister and me. As siblings often do, my sister and I were playing in the backyard of our fairly new home. My parents had purchased a badminton set and set the net up on our new lawn. My sister and I were young and not very experienced. We found ourselves mistakenly hitting all of the birdies onto the aluminum awning attached to the roof of the backside of our home. I specifically remember this awning. It had aluminum legs and long unsecured long white slats that layered across the top. It covered a large cement slab that we called our patio. When it rained, the water would pour off the slanted roof of our home onto the awning. I used to love trying to catch the water in my small hands as it flowed from the sides of this structure.

When my sister and I realized we had hit all of the birdies onto the awning, we called to my father for help. In an attempt to retrieve the birdies, my father climbed up on the roof. But as he reached across, he lost his balance and fell from the roof to the patio below.

My mother was at work at the time of the fall. I called her immediately! She told me not to call an ambulance. She said, “We can’t afford it!” She told me to go get our neighbor and ask for help. I told my sister what our mother had said and she ran to our neighbor to request help. I remained by my father’s side. There was blood everywhere. Feelings of powerlessness and fear paralyzed me. I couldn’t move.

Within a moment’s time, our neighbor ran up to where I was sitting. He quickly wrapped my father’s head with a towel, then, drove my father to the emergency room of the local hospital. My sister and I remained home while my mother rushed to my father’s side.

From the hospital, my mother called around our neighborhood to find a babysitter. In a state of shock, I shut down emotionally. I don’t know how long it took before the babysitter arrived, but she brought with her several of her friends. The teenagers were rowdy and loud. They began partying in front of my sister and me.

My sister disappeared into her room and I sat alone on the couch clutching the phone and waiting for my mother to call. I felt angry at the teenagers’ failure to show compassion. They seemed completely indifferent to our feelings.

Later that night, after hours of surgery, my mother called home to inform my sister and me that my father had survived the fall. I felt a sense of relief and innocently thought, “My father is okay, and he’s coming home.” But, sadly my father would return to the home only to continue to drink chronically. Eventually, my mother had had enough. She filed for divorce.

A few years later, another man entered our lives. Strong in his Christian faith, sober and devoted, he manifested a personal character of godly humility. He would later lead my mother into a true relationship with Christ and plant a seed in my heart.

These days, I trust that God has a plan for my life. I am certain that He did not leave me fatherless as a child. I believe now, that God was by my side, comforting me through the darkest nights. He provided a godly father, who knew scripture and many times tried to lead me into a relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ.

In fact, even while writing this chapter, God confirmed His love for me through a music video I had never seen before. Amazed, I sit here now, watching a little girl sing a song that moves me to tears. The little girl in the video is about my age around the same time I last saw my father as a child. Uncontrollably, I cry as she mouths the words, “My love, I’ve never left your side. I have seen you through the darkest nights and I’m the one who’s loved you all your life, all of your life."

Thank you God for your Amazing Love. I only wish I had returned your love sooner!

Apologies From a Repentant Christian

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About Me

I called myself a Christian because I wore a cross, prayed to God and attended church regularly. Yet, I lied, gossiped, and judged others without mercy. I misrepresented my God with my behavior, attitude, and words. Such was my life.

In my prayers, I asked for God to use my life to glorify Him but was ill prepared for the response. I was arrested and charged with a felony! In deep and dark despair, I turned to Jesus Christ for help, and He was there to save me, as I sorrowfully repented for my past sinful behavior! Jesus transformed my heart and I was blessed with unimaginable peace and joy!

I am living proof that people can change and that choosing to live a righteous and holy life brings joy. Read the full-story here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CBP6FDI