Older Stuff

dreams

I had a crazy day yesterday driving all over shuttling kids to events and back. The Portland National College Fair was the big event of the day and I am so proud of my oldest daughter because she was better prepared and better composed than most of her friends, including those who are Seniors. We bounced happily from one of her choices to another crossing schools off our list one by one and finding surprises along the way. None of these schools are in our current state and half of the choices are nearly as far away as you can go. I’ve always known Miranda would leave the nest and fly far – that’s just her spirit. What surprised me is that she is far more focused than I imagined and her mission is all about the program, not simply to get away from home. The fact that Tampa FL and Pittsburgh PA are two of the locations is happenstance.

I recalled my own junior year of high school being full of disappointment and squelched dreams because my father experienced a long lasting period of unemployment and my parents decided that my only option would be the local junior college. Looking back, I should have applied anyway; but, I was a good girl who listened to my parents and trusted they had all the knowledge (at least where finances were concerned). My parenting reflects my rebellion as I constantly encourage my children to explore and believe that anything is possible. How amazingly grateful I am that my daughters can choose to approach life wide-eyed and fearless now instead of waiting until they’re over 40!

My best friend Jessica and I were talking earlier this week about our aspirations in the art world and she expressed to me that she is thinking about being a full-time artist, to which I replied, “No, it’s happening! It’s definitely happening!” I’m done with thinking about potential possibility. I am ready. I am an artist and I’m going to make art for a living! So what that I am divorced, over 40, and every other excuse the old tapes play in my head when I am feeling doubtful or scared! I’ve learned, and am continuing to learn that the magic isn’t out there in the future, it is right now. I’ve learned that taking one step every single day is the only way to make a dream come to reality and I’m honestly not looking at time, though I have goals written down because that’s good to do, I am looking at today. I’m writing this article right now because it’s the step I can take in this moment to move myself closer to being a full-time artist and teacher.

I’m also writing this article because I pledged to myself and my dream that I would write every Sunday morning about what happened in the studio this week.

I did a paint over early in the week entitled, “Bliss.” It was a fun piece to do and I honestly had no idea what the result was going to be. I started with fluorescent oil pastels in my journal and then gessoed over them using a stencil.

This resulted in an extremely bright page but the rays weren’t as prominent as I wanted so I painted over the whole thing with blue acrylic paint and then, while it was still a little damp, I placed the stencil in different positions/directions from where it was the first time and picked up the paint through the stencil with a baby wipe. The result was much closer to what I had originally intended. I love the way that the colors peek through.

My next step isn’t documented by photo, but I drew 3 hearts down the left side with a fluorescent oil pastel and decided I needed a face. I am still learning how to draw expression and I found an image in my stash which captured exactly the feeling I wanted to evoke. I got to work. I painted with acrylics and gesso and I activated my neocolor II crayons. I embellished and the end result is surprisingly WAY different that where I initially started. I love it.

Isn’t she beautiful! Isn’t she blissful? This is exactly representative about how I feel about my present and my anticipated future.

The rest of the week was really busy and the weather shifted more to our typical fall so I did a lot of reading and resting in addition to working 40 hours at my current job. But I managed to take and post a bunch of closeup photos whenever happiness appeared in my world. Here they all are in case you didn’t see them on Facebook.