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Monday, May 1, 2017

Run...Mary Jane...Run!

In December of 2015, I ended a relationship that was
basically built upon lies, not mine but his. When God showed me how all the
pieces would fit together, I was shocked at how ugly the picture was going to
turn out. And so I walked away…and when I did, I felt like the life of faith
and creativity that I had once known was being sucked out of me and in its
place, a stronghold of fear. What I wanted so badly had turned into a
nightmare, a mental battle for my character, my authority and my peace of mind.

For almost nine months, the enemy of my soul flooded my mind
with so much negative criticism that it was hard to combat the depression. I
had a hard time reading the Bible and listening to Christian music because I
felt condemn not only for what had just happened but then the enemy headed for
my past insecurities as well. Now, I know condemnation is not from God (Romans 8:1) but I
felt powerless with the heavy on slot of accusations. Just because you know
what to do doesn’t make it easy to do it in a time of pressing trouble. I tried speaking
and reading the Word out loud. Claiming the promises. However, whatever I did,
my ‘believe’ was not there and so my faith was cut short. It looked like life
had forever changed and with little hope, I was going downhill fast. However, I
felt compelled to keep going forward to fight the good fight of faith with the
little hope that I had until I regained my lost mental territory.

During all this time, the Lord was relentlessly faithful to
me through the love and faithfulness of family, friends and church. Also, I saw
10 10 everywhere which to me could only mean one thing.

Then there was the word He gave to
me personally as the healing had barely begun.

January
7, 2016

You are my darling wife to be. I
had to come rescue you. I love you, appreciate you, and adore you. I did not
want you to be swallowed up by your circumstances. Come follow Me back to
health, both physically and spiritually. See what I can do in a short period of
time. You are not alone neither have I forsaken you. You have wanted to quit but
I won’t let you. You are my precious child who I want to help. Yes, you lost
your way, but I grabbed you by the hand and rescued you and have put you on
solid ground. Seek me Mary Jane. Trust that I will bring you through. I know
you are afraid right now and I have my loving arms around you. You are not
alone. Follow Me, Mary Jane, follow Me.

With all the affirmations and confirmations, the enemy
sought even more desperately to destroy me and my relationship with the Lord.

When my prayers changed from “Oh God, help me!!!” to intensionally praying
for others and praying the opposite to whatever the enemy was telling me, my
mind slowly began to respond. I knew then that I had broken down a line of the
enemy’s defense. God was doing His part. Now I needed to do mine.

Afterwards, I heard the Lord say, “You have got to get out
and walk.” As much as I wanted to stay sheltered, I knew I had to listen to His
directions. In late October 2016 after walking for about six weeks, I started
seeing major release from the enemy’s mind control. I was gaining confidence
and courage to resist all the lies. It still was not easy but I was determined.

Since my mind was beginning to clear from the negative
thoughts, I started to see my positive creative imagination began to peep out. Oh, how
I had longed for my writing to spring forth again. The Lord was right. Being out in nature was
helping me to heal.

Lastly, I felt the Lord say, Running your race will give you
endurance,” so that’s what I did. I started running some and then some more.
Each week or so I would increase my running a little bit more.And each and every week I was gaining back my
mental strength. In November of 2016, I entered my first 5K at South Mountain
Christian Camp. As I crossed the finish line to win 2nd place in my
age group, I knew I was well on my way to being myself again.

As of today, I have
racked up many 5Ks, a couple of 10Ks, with my latest goal of a half marathon
coming up in three weeks. My main goal there is to finish within the allotted
time. Pretty good for an out of shape 61-year old beginner, don’t you think? Do
I love to run now? No, I can’t say that I do but I love where it is taking me
and that keeps me joyfully putting one foot in front of the other as fast as a
can.

PRASIE BE TO GOD FOR
HIS WONDERFUL FAITHFULNESS!

Are you going through a mentally tough time right now? I
know it is not easy and sometimes your fears seem like they are going to over
take you. But do not lose heart. Jesus is right there with you, holding your
hand too. Read the words the Lord gave me again but insert you name instead. He
wants to help you overcome whatever it is you are facing. Go to Him the best
way you know how. No matter what the situation is, Jesus is waiting for you to
let go and let Him help you.

********************************

As I prepared for a recent 5miler race in downtown Columbia,
I told the Lord I could not do this without Him. What He answered me with was a
vision of me running down the street with a large angel, flying overhead. At
the race, as I came around the corner to run the last quarter mile, my earlier
vision came to life. The two scenes were exactly the same. I knew without a
shadow of doubt that a large angel was flying overhead cheering me on.

About Me

Mary Jane Downs is an author, speaker and teacher who lives in the foothills of the Asheville Mountains. She loves long walks with her camera in hand, reading, hand quilting, and cooking for friends. Mary Jane has been published in Awe Magazine, Inspiredmoms.com, as well as a guest blogger. Mary Jane has found her writing and love of quilting to work well together. Quilting gives her time to think and gain insight for story ideas and writing helps her to express those ideas and thoughts to others.