Living Out Step Three, Daily Turning Over My Will and Life

I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †

Yesterday, I forgot to mention that, after attending my two Saturday meetings, I stopped at the grocery store to make provision for my successful abstinence. When I returned to my car, I found it had been struck by an honest person who left their contact information. I sat patiently and waited for the appropriate law enforcement response, but it was getting way past lunchtime. It’s a good thing I listened to one who came before me long ago, and made it a habit to carry emergency abstinent provisions. I ate lunch from several cans in my company car. When I was asked about my strange lunch, I turned the question into a Twelfth Step opportunity.

Today, I look forward to spending time with the Family of God.

Tomorrow, in order to get a fresh perspective on the Proverbs, I plan to switch to a version I have not used before, the New Living Translation, just for that reading. I normally avoid switching, because it confuses my attempts at memorization, but I thought it might shed light on the old truths from a different angle and exercise my willingness with a little change.

“Once we compulsive overeaters truly take the Third Step, we cannot fail to recover. As we live out our decision day by day, our Higher Power guides us through the remaining nine Steps.” — The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 27

AA speakers Scott and Bob, the voices of whom I have heard via recording many times, riddle, “If three frogs are sitting on a log and one decides to jump into the water, how many are left on the log?” Three! One only made a decision to jump; he hasn’t done it yet. Their point was that it is our continual living out our decision to “turn our will and our lives over to the care of God” that makes the change, not the decision itself. Compulsive overeaters should understand this better than anybody, since we, times without number, have decided to eat healthy, get off the couch, whatever, only to sit back into our programmed actions, fork-curls, pantry extensions, and laps around the refrigerator our only exercise.

Chapter 51 is the final pronouncement of the destruction of Babylon, God’s tool of destruction for Israel. In the first verse, He proclaims His intent for total annihilation, backwards and forwards and any which way, even using a cryptogram to describe the territories of the empire as an apparent demonstration of the totality of His devastation. The chapter closes with:

“63 When you finish reading this scroll, tie a stone to it and throw it into the Euphrates. 64 Then say, ‘So will Babylon sink to rise no more because of the disaster I will bring upon her. And her people will fall.’

The words of Jeremiah end here.”

In verses 17-19 I found something that helped me develop my understanding of God and my humility at the same time.

“17 Every man is senseless and without knowledge;
every goldsmith is shamed by his idols.
His images are a fraud;
they have no breath in them.18 They are worthless, the objects of mockery;
when their judgment comes, they will perish.19 He who is the Portion of Jacob is not like these,
for he is the Maker of all things,
including the tribe of his inheritance—
the Lord Almighty is his name.”

While the words of Jeremiah end in Chapter 51, Chapter 52 describes the detail of Israel’s fall to Babylon, from the rise of the rebellious King Zedekiah, to the siege of Jerusalem, the destruction of its walls, the pillaging of the Temple, and the carrying into exile of 4,600 Jews.

“The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did—then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen—Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!”

† (For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.)