After reading, I immediately felt sad. Sad for the guy, sad for his family, sad for his ex-girlfriend and his friends. How exactly do you resolve in your head that someone close to you just killed himself? That he stepped onto a chair tied a noose around his neck and kicked the chair. Do you get angry at him? Do you blame yourself for not being around as much? What?

I stopped and thought of how things had been in my life. Sure, I may be a bit emotional at times (I think every girl is) and I have the ability to trap myself inside my head with thoughts of sadness, but I’ve never seriously considered suicide. Psychology explains that suicide gets thrown in the mix for every human being fenced in emotional pain – most carry on without so much as an incident but to some the thought of hurting ones self lingers.

I’ve had my heart trampled more than I care to admit and I’ve made choices that aren’t exactly right a handful of times and I understand the devastation it can bring you. I know the void, I know the sleepless nights, I know the poor appetite, I know the intermittent inability to breathe, I know the tears at night and the complete bleakness it renders every blessing you get. Heartbreaks can crush even the spirit. But amidst knowing the sorrow, I know that things can be well again.

I know I have real friends, I know my family loves me and I know that with every broken road I take, the Almighty never leaves me. I might have been unbearably neglected and eventually deliberately broken without so much as a care, but I have my faith and that always rings strong inside of me while I weather the rain.

Our purpose and wishes will come sooner or later. I just tell myself and the people who open up to me about their problems that life will be beautiful again … we only have to hold on.

I’m sorry about your friend D, I’ll include him in my prayers tonight.

The Big Day

People believe it’s what people do. And it is that belief, that rock solid belief, that makes things happen.

Thinking of

my wedding ... our cake ... our rings ... the primary sponsors ... how my traje de boda will look like ... wanting to starve myself to waif thin waistline ... but can't because of my full time job ... this weekend's wedding expo at the mall ...

“I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound and stab us.”

Read

"I dreamed a dream of angels. I saw them and heard them in a great and endless galactic night. I saw the lights that were these angels, flying here and there, in streaks of irresistible brilliance ... I felt love around me in this vast and seamless realm of sound and light ... And something akin to sadness swept me up and mingled my very essence with the voices who sang, because the voices were singing of me ..."

Never wound what you can’t kill

PROVISO:

THE THOUGHTS, OPINIONS, AND OVERALL COMMENTARY FROM THE AUTHOR OF THIS PARTICULAR BLOG ARE NOT MEANT TO BE HARMFUL IN ANY WAY.
ALL PHOTOS, MEDIA, AND DOWNLOADABLE FILES HERE ARE NOT MEANT TO INFRINGE ANY COPYRIGHT LAWS OR FREEDOMS. ITS USE FALL UNDER THE "FAIR USE" DOCTRINE OF THE U.S. COPYRIGHT STATUTE. IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEM WITH ANY FILES OR STATEMENTS USED WITHIN THE BLOG, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT IN MY MEEBO (PROVIDE YOUR RETURN CONTACT DETAILS) AND WE’LL RESPOND TO IT APPROPRIATELY.