10 Golden Rules of Being Engaged

Cold feet? Financial trouble? Too much too soon? Going from being in a relationship to being engaged is often a big change and not always the easiest stage of any relationship. Read on for the top 10 golden rules of the first official commitment before the big M.

Take it slow: You don’t have to start discussing prospective (male and female) names for your firstborn and the school they’ll study in immediately after you’ve exchanged rings. Ever heard of the too-much-too-soon syndrome?

Body talk: If you’re the kind that’s been saving up for marriage, why not wait some more? Get physically intimate only if you’re completely at ease with the idea. An engagement is not a license to fornicate. Not that a marriage certificate necessarily is, but hey, different strokes for different folks.

Don’t forget your buddies: How easy it is to forget all about the existence of your gal (and boy) pals with the entry of your knight in shining armour? Don’t forget that these are the same 3 am buddies who let you cry on their shoulders when you were nursing a broken heart and swearing off guys.

Distance is exciting: Just because your relationship is official now and can be acknowledged before society, you don’t have to turn into Siamese twins. Familiarity may not breed contempt here, but boredom it definitely could.

"Accept" his little idiosyncrasies: Of course, the point of an engagement is not to all spend your waking hours apart either. You’ll definitely be around each other quite a bit, and this is when you’ll become familiar with his little — and not-so-little — quirks. There’s no point letting them infuriate you; accept them as you would like him to live with yours.

Don't turn into the nag monster: Call it the marriage virus or the mommy effect (what we've seen our mums do over the years), turning into the nag monster is second nature to quite a few women. And unfortunately so. That’s why prevention (awareness and refusal to succumb) is way better than cure.

Figure out money matters: You’re a spendthrift, he’s a miser? Or vice-versa? That’s not the best relationship. Or is it? Whatever the case, no one can (and must) change overnight. You need to compromise on a reasonable middle path.

Stop overanalysing: If you find yourself asking if he was the “best” catch you could have nailed, it’s probably a bit too late in the day. Getting cold feet is normal, especially if commitments and responsibilities aren’t really what excite you. Remember, a known devil is better than an unknown one.

Accept the transition from I to We: So you’re the new-age superwoman pulling off a mean balancing act between work, a personal life and a social life? You’ve loved and valued your freedom a bit too much? Don’t obsess about what you could lose after the I-to-We transition; put on those rose-tinted glasses instead.

Have a wacky hen party: Of course, you need some fun friends to throw you one. An erotic cake, drunk games, hot male friends/strangers ready to (semi)-strip and a little more maybe… Have your last fling with a little craziness before you get hooked, booked and cooked. Good luck!