Obama: 'The Bulls Are Going To Win… Eventually'

I’m a part-time sports blogger and dick-joke-maker, so of course I hate Bill Simmons. I hate him because he paved the road for all of us to do what we do, and I hate him because he gets paid a fortune to do it. I hate him because he has access to so many athletes and celebrities, and I hate him because he has an army of followers who would mindlessly take bullets for him. I hate him because he gets to be the world’s biggest Boston homer, and I hate him because people can call him on his shit opinions and nobody cares in the long run.

So of course I hate him, too, for getting to interview Barack Obama about sports. Yesterday, Twitter blew up with us sportsy types bitching about Simmons not asking the tough questions, but with all my hate comes a certain level of expectations, and the thing that Sports Guy has built his career on is indifference. He wants to talk about 90210 and his dad, so should we expect him to ask why gas is $4 a gallon? No.

With that, when are the Chicago Bulls gonna win a damn championship, Barry?

“I’m not worried,” Obama said during their conversation from the White House. “If you look at what has been happening with the Bulls, even with [Derrick] Rose out, even with [Luol] Deng out, they’ve still got one of the best records in the league. That is a well-coached team.”

“It hasn’t happened, but it will happen,” Obama said. “Somewhere along the line, my Bulls are going to come through.” (Via HuffPo)

Obama also said that the Bulls are going to win while he’s in office, so I’m going to go with three punchlines here to hopefully please everyone:

For Republicans: “Yeah? Well they better win this year, bud.”

For Democrats: “If they don’t win this year, they’ve still got 4 more seasons.”