BROOKLYN, NY—Imagine a place where all the offers are epic, the deals never end, and shipping is always free. A heavenly kingdom where you can click a button and—like magic—the shower head, butt plug, or off-brand iPhone cable of your dreams appears at your door. This is the sales pitch of the Church of Amazon, the…

Stephen Miller is a dedicated public servant! I need to be able to contact him. Providing his number is a valuable public service. Otherwise, how will we find out if his refrigerator is running? Does he have Prince Albert in a can? Where am I to put all of these flaming bags of dogshit and how will these 40 Papa…