A friend of mine, who has a 2-week-old, thanked me for being honest about how much the first few weeks can suck. Crying, your not knowing what the baby wants, cluster-feeding, pulling off if the flow is too fast or too slow, etc. He said most people "candy-coat" the first few weeks/months, and he thinks it's because people don't want to admit that their child was like a wild animal.

I would much rather say to someone that I hated the early weeks because you have zero control and the baby is a constant vacuum of need, but gives you virtually no positive feedback. Seriously, when the fact that the kid poops and pees regularly is the best feedback you're getting, it's not the most blissful phase. But I'd rather be honest about that and then talk about how it does get better. Because it does. But also so your friend doesn't abandon all hope.

I never thought of either of my newborns as wild animals, but that's probably because I was thinking of them more as alien cyborgs with neverending appetites. Although I guess that's similar to a mongoose baby.

What do you think? a) Was your child like a wild animal? and b) Why do people candy-coat the early weeks/months? (I remember thinking I was going to punch the next person who told me to "enjoy this phase" because the baby was so snuggly and sleepy.) c) Do you tend to be more of a candy-coater or a yes-this-sucks-er?

The Fine PrintMy expertise is in helping people be who they want to be, with a specialty in how being a parent fits into everything else. I like people. I like parents. I think you're doing a fantastic job. The nitty-gritty of what you do with your kids is up to you, although I'm happy to post questions here to get data points of how you could try approaching different stages, because, let's face it, this shit is hard. As for me, I have two kids who sleep through the night and can tie their own shoes. I've been a married SAHM, a married freelance WAHM, a divorcing WOHM, a divorced WOHM, and now a WAHM again. I'm not buying the Mommy Wars and I'll come sit next to you no matter how you're feeding your kid. When in doubt, follow the money trail. And don't believe the hype.