Share this:

STOP THE SCREAMING:Slow down a yeller by interrupting and asking for more details about her particular beef. Photo:

Author Meredith Fuller

Author Meredith Fuller

STOP THE SCREAMING: Slow down a yeller by interrupting and asking for more details about her particular beef. (
)

Excluders are dismissive and “forget” to pass along important information. (Alamy)

Meredith Fuller was well into her 32-year career as a psychologist when she noticed a disturbing trend: Her female clients were anxious and depressed — because their co-workers were backstabbing and undermining.

“I saw an increase in their distress, caused by individual problems with someone in the workplace,” says Fuller, 57. “They found themselves coming home feeling out of sorts, embarrassed and ashamed.”

So she decided to write a book to help women cope. The result, “Working With Bitches,” out March 26, outlines how women can rise above low-blow tactics — all while maintaining a tolerable work environment.

Often, says Fuller, women who are targeted by workplace bitches are on their own: Managers might think they are imagining the bad behavior or blowing it out of proportion. “Bitchy tactics tend to be very subtle and hard to prove,” she notes.

Moreover, women who are bothered by such coworkers “aren’t women who are historically able to be nasty or be cruel,” says Fuller — so confronting their tormenters isn’t a good idea. “They are not women who scream — they don’t have the skills, the body language, to go with it,” Fuller adds. “If they try to confront the other person by doing the same thing back, they don’t do it very well.”

Instead, she recommends women employ careful tactics specific to the type of bitch they’re facing. For example, it might help to discreetly educate a co-worker who is acting distastefully because she is insecure that she isn’t doing her job, or simply keep your distance from a woman who will use anything you say against you.

We spoke with Fuller about the eight types of workplace bitches and how any woman can identify and combat them. Take a look:

THE SCREAMER

How she operates: Extremely aggressive and loud, she is demanding and will yell at you any time she finds a fault. She thinks she needs to yell in order for people to respond immediately.

How to spot her: She uses intimidation to accomplish her goals. She is theatric, disorganized and very vocal about her insults.

How to cope: If she starts yelling, interrupt and ask for more details. “You’re actually slowing them down,” Fuller says. “The more you’re interrupting and seeking data, you’re pulling them back.”

THE INSECURE

How she operates: She sets extremely high standards for herself and others and is constantly worried about meeting them; as a result, she is competitive and controlling of others’ work. She functions best in a high-stress environment and may be afraid of losing control in the workplace.

How to spot her: She micro-manages and is extremely critical and inflexible. She frequently assigns urgent, unreasonable tasks. “In a technology-based organization, [The Insecure is] very typical,” Fuller says.

How to cope: Focus on achieving the outcomes she requests, rather than on the manner in which she demands them. Adopt a can-do attitude, and reassure her with regular updates. If she assigns you something unreasonable, have her go through your schedule with you — and help you reprioritize the rest of your tasks.

THE TOXIC

How she operates: She’s a manipulative, two-faced, fair-weather friend who befriends you the instant you enter the workplace — and then uses all the information she’s learned through your friendship against you at the first chance she gets.

How to spot her: She’s friendly and nosy — a little too much so. “They’re overstepping boundaries and wanting to be too close,” Fuller says.

How to cope: Don’t let her catty judgments of co-workers cloud your judgment. Don’t trust her with anything confidential about your own life, and make sure the rest of the office knows you produce high-quality work by collaborating with others on projects.

THE NARCISSIST

How she operates: She is high-achieving and competitive but is wholly concerned with her own glory and treats her staff like servants. If she isn’t in a leadership role, she’ll only complete tasks that can make her look good.

How to spot her: She’s entitled, self-absorbed and snide. She doesn’t express thanks for the favors you do for her but expects you to be grateful for hers. “They’re very egocentric; they tend not to be team players,” Fuller says.

How to cope: Find a project that can help them excel — at least it’ll get done.

THE LIAR

How she operates: She’s easily bored — and totally cutthroat. But she’s highly skilled at manipulation, and it could take months to see through her deception.

How to spot her: She’s unreliable, and her work performance is poor — yet she’s full of excuses. She lacks empathy and is ruthless in pursuing her own objectives.

How to cope: Distance yourself from her, and set firm boundaries. If you have to work with her, keep records and take notes to document her behavior in case she turns on you. The Liar doesn’t tend to stay in one job very long. “They’ll be caught up in their lies, and their lies will have impacted other staff members,” says Fuller. “Then they’ll try to get let go with a good severance.”

THE INCOMPETENT

How she operates: She lacks the skills to do her job, but would prefer to blame you, while tricking you into doing her work.

How to spot her: She’s in a role for which she hasn’t been prepared, but is unwilling to acknowledge it or develop the skills she needs. She takes your ideas and work product and presents them as her own.

How to cope: Find nonthreatening ways to help her learn her job. “When they’re feeling less anxious, they tend to feel less autocratic,” Fuller says.

THE EXCLUDER

How she operates: She’s only nice to women if she thinks she can gain from a relationship with them. Otherwise, she treats them as if they don’t exist.

How to spot her: She ignores you and “forgets” to pass along crucial information, like meeting-time changes or messages from higher-ups. You feel dismissed and invisible. Along with The Toxic, this is one of the most commonplace types of workplace bitches, according to Fuller.

How to cope: Find other ways — that don’t require her cooperation — to obtain the information you need to do your job. If you must, politely ask her if you’ve done something to offend her — but don’t be surprised if you never get to the small-talk stage.

THE NOT-A-BITCH

How she operates: She’s not a mean girl, just a little socially awkward. She might be brusque and no-nonsense — but if you’re taking offense to her, maybe the problem is you.

How to spot her: The tasks she keeps reminding you to complete are actually part of your job description. She asks for clarification when she misunderstands what you’ve said. She holds you accountable for your work.

How to cope: Evaluate her actions, and decide if maybe you’re the passive-aggressive or lazy team member in the picture. Don’t gossip, finish your tasks and complete all the work you are paid to do.