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I'm new at my bank and enjoy my work but an established, and well-liked, colleague is making things uncomfortable with inappropriate comments. How do I raise this?

This is a delicate one. Clearly, no one should have to tolerate inappropriate comments in the workplace – after all, you are there to do a job, not to be put off doing it by the behaviour of others. But equally, get this wrong, and you risk excluding yourself from the group. That's important not just for your career but, as you probably spend most of your waking hours with these people, it's also pretty fundamental for your daily life.

It is rare for people to consult a lawyer at this stage. The best thing to do is to tackle it proactively, one-on-one, up-front and, above all, carefully. If you can, find an opportunity to take your colleague to one side quietly and in private, to avoid embarrassing them in front of others. Explain how the comments made you feel and directly ask the colleague not to make them. But, very importantly, do this in a gentle and straightforward way, without making it a massive deal. And be sure to end the conversation nicely. If this person is well-liked, that's probably for a reason. He/she may not realise the impact the comments have had and the safest approach is to assume that is the case.

Another way would be to mention it to a sympathetic (and also popular) colleague, who might be in a position to notice and speak up when the next comment comes along. Again, do this in a non-threatening way; ideally you want this type of behaviour to go away without having to get into a battle over it. Most people who are well-liked do generally notice when, for some reason, their comments are not so well-liked, so again this might be a low volume way to address it.

But if these fail, you will need to be assertive and speak up because it is clear that the colleague won't simply stop. It is unlawful discrimination and harassment to subject others to sexist, nationalist, homophobic or offensive religious comments (or any other conduct related either to these issues) or to age, race or disability, which makes the workplace hostile, degrading, intimidating or oppressive for you. Ultimately you could win a tribunal claim if you prove this, but presumably your priority is to stop it happening in the first place.

In most banks, there are informal and formal ways to raise and escalate concerns about discrimination and harassment, generally found in the staff handbook on the intranet. If you do decide to take this route, be sure to make a careful note of each of the incidents before you do (detailing where, when and who was there, what comments were made, by whom, and any documents that relate to the incidents, as they happen). This will help you feel confident with your clarity on the detail. If in any doubt, take advice. Sometimes it is the manner and tone of communications that can make all the difference.