The thoughts and musings of a man at the precipice of middle age, starting from his 50th birthday.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road? Perhaps...

There I was, cruising eastbound on US 33 somewhere in Ohio. My mind was wandering as it often does when I ride, I can remember that I was figuring out what to do with the piece of gum that I had in my mouth that had lost its flavor. I needed a method to spit the gum out, with my helmet on, in a way that I could be reasonably sure that the gum would not immediately fly back into the helmet.

This section of US 33 was agricultural. On either side of this two lane, Blue Highway were cornfields that were about shoulder area high. It was kind of like riding in a Hot Wheels track made of green plastic. Suddenly, in front of me, motion caught my eye. A small white figure broke from the cornfield on the right side of the road and started across the road at high speed. It took me a minute to realize that it was a chicken not some other kind of beast. He chicken did not even look around but with his wings flapping madly he ran full force across the road and then disappeared into the cornfield on the opposite side road. As I turned my head and stared at the spot where children had disappeared into the cornfield; it occurred to me that I had never literally seen a chicken cross the road in real life. About that time, my peripheral vision caught motion on the road.

I looked down just in time to see my front wheel run over a rather large snake (5 feet or so). Not even a second later, I heard the squish as the rear wheel ran over it. I looked in the rearview mirror and the snake was not moving at all. It had been an interesting few moments.

Then, I started to smile as I realized that somehow I became part of a chicken joke. So…

Perhaps the chicken was being chased by the snake and ran across the road hoping that a vehicle would run over snake and prevent the chicken from being eaten.

Why did the chicken cross the road?Because he did not want to be a snake's dinner – not funny but accurate

Perhaps the chicken and the snake were having a race and the chicken ran across the road in front of the snake because the snake was winning.

Why did the chicken cross the road?Because he was cheating to win the race – better but still not there

Perhaps snake had seen one too many Road Runner Cartoon and he thought he was Wile E. Coyote and what I saw was the last few moments of an Acme plan gone horribly wrong.

Why did the chicken cross the road?Because that's what the Road Runner would do to get away from the Coyote – I actually kinda like this one, but then I saw the real world version.

Perhaps the chicken was messing the snake and set him up to get run over.

Why did the chicken cross the road?Because he was the chicken's evil twin – I like this one

Perhaps it is time we give up on chicken jokes and spin it a little bit.

Why did the snake cross the road?Because he didn't see the dude on the Valkyrie until it was way too late – Hmm, not as funny as when it is a joke about a chicken but I can hear this being told in Steven Wright’s voice.

If all else fails.

Why did the chicken cross the road?Zombies

The way I see it, even if the chicken wasn't running from the snake – – the snake eventually would've found the chicken as it wandered around the cornfield. To my way of thinking, the chicken owes me at least a Thank You card for saving it.

As far as the snake goes… the chicken and I may have been participants in the joke, but the snake was totally committed - - sorry dude.