Day 3 of 60 Not easy!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Im on another journey battling obesity. Every 60 day I will reevaluate my goals, plans, and restart another 60 days.

Quick breakdown for day 1 and 2

Day 1:
I made my mind up that finally I'm going to start back being more active on spark and set some goals for myself after visiting my physician and finding out that I now weigh 300+ pounds, but the first day was hard I slept most of the day because I was afraid of binging which is what I tend to do when I start back watching what I eat. But I was able to get in a 30min walk.

Day 2: Monday was a work day I had a small breakfast and lunch and the binging began like always shortly after 3pm no workout this day.

Today Day 3

Feeling discouraged and defeated by my illness...obesity...I feel weakened by my eating disorders..i feel overwhelmed with all that Im trying to accomplish..and I feel like a failure for all the times Ive tried to lose weight but mange to gain more..Today I manged to get in a workout at home but it wasnt easy like walking. I was out of breath tired and almost gave up, but I completed the workout and manage to post this blog.

I know its never easy to start but its never easy starting over for the 1000th time either. I pray this time I really manage to accomplish my goal weight to win the battle with obesity, pcos, and infertility.

Binging is an issue for me, too, especially when I'm not working. At work, I have structure where I'm not mindlessly eating to pass the time. .. it's at home that things start snowballing! Here's a couple things that seem to be helping me out, at least:

1)Do activities that make it hard to snack. For me, I'm part of a medieval re-creation group so I do crafts. It's hard to eat chips (or anything really) when you're worried about getting the grease on your embroidery floss or scribal paper. Learn to knit, crochet, fold origami, or some other activity that keeps your hands and mind busy. It's also a great way to put off those food cravings. I tell myself "ok, if you weave three more inches, then you can get up and consider a snack." Not only does it get me farther along in my projects, but it makes me think about whether I really want food and, if I do, what my best choice would be.

2) Serve yourself one portion (or what you have planned for yourself in the tracker) at dinner. I've finally trained my boyfriend not to look at me funny when I pull out the 1 cup measuring cup at dinner. If I want another portion when I'm done with the first, I have to walk around my block (or some similar 15 minute excercise.) If I don't want to walk, I don't get the extra helping. Plus, half the time I make it around the block and decide I feel so good, I don't want more food! (Of course, the rest of the time, I pull my cup measurer back out and happily dig in!)

3)Plan yourself a treat at the end of the day. This is a crutch for me right now, but I like a warm, sweet beverage when I'm winding down... it makes it easier for me to pass up additional cravings when I know I have hot chocolate and marshmallows waiting for me at the end of the day! Plus, the built in help is that I have 100 calories that, if I really want to, I can put towards something else.

4) Never, ever, ever give up! As others have said, be positive! It can be hard, I've been there, too. I look in the mirror and not see what I want to. I've cursed myself for losing the progress I made two years ago... but today is today. You can't fix the past, you can only move forward. You're amazing and beautiful and you deserve to feel good about yourself now, and not just when you reach an arbitrary number (though those arbitrary numbers feel amazing, too!)

Today, feel like a success because you are here at SP and you are determined to change your life. You CAN do it! I was one of those people who had started a thousand times, and now I've lost 80 lbs, so I know it can be done. Just take one tiny step at a time and don't be so hard on yourself. Celebrate the successes of exercising, of eating right or tracking all your food for a day. Celebrate the good rather than focusing on the failures. And one thing that has helped me a lot is seeing my obesity not as a disease, but as a direct result of my lifestyle choices - and those choices are mine to make. With disease, we can't always do anything about it and we can end up feeling like victims. But with our weight, we have the power to change the way we are. You are worth the effort, and you will never regret the difference it will make in your life.

Just take it one day and one step at a time. What are your goals for the week? Make them simple and do-able, so that by the end of the week you can feel accomplished. For example, pledge to drink your 8 glasses of water every day. Even if you do then binge, you can still feel proud that you've at least made a great step by getting that water in. Then once you've mastered that, you can chose a new goal.

Please don't beat yourself up about it. This whole weight loss thing is SO difficult. I've stopped and started more times than I care to recall. But the point is, we are still here. Still pushing and battling to beat this thing. And that says a whole lot. We haven't given up on life.

The beauty about our disease (obesity, being overweight) is that there IS a solution for it. So when you feel hopeless, just remember that this is a disease WITH a solution. I know it's hard. I'm at my highest weight again. The disease never goes away completely, so maybe there isn't a cure. But there is something we can do about it and it is all on us. What you can't do is expect to reach your goal weight in 6 months. Even if it takes you a few years by doing it slowly, at least you'll be there eventually. I look back at the last 6 years on SP that I continuously go up and down but never reach my goal weight...if I had just lost ONE POUND a month since I joined SP, I'd be at my goal weight now. So think about yourself - don't worry about a goal weight, just focus on a slow, steady weight loss. If all you do is lose 5 pounds a month, you'll be at your goal in less than 3 years. I know that seems like a long time, but better to be there in 3 than not at all. So you see, slow and steady wins the race!