The 5 C’s Of Every Healthy Relationship

Even if you take just one of these away, the entire thing can fall apart like a house of cards.

Every person and relationship on the planet is unique, but there are cornerstones and qualities that all happy and healthy relationships share. If even one of these is not present, it can split two people apart. Here are the 5 C’s every healthy relationship must have.

Communication

Communication is the foundation of everything else in a relationship. It helps us understand why someone acts the way they do, how they feel about how we treat them, what they do or do not like, the standards they’ve set for themselves…

It sounds basic, but there are so many people and couples who’ve come to me and told me that their partner doesn’t talk to them or express their feelings. I understand some of us are more willing to share these things than others, but we must put the effort forth for the sake of our significant other and our relationship.

Nobody is a mind reader, and if there is something good OR bad that you’re just expecting your partner to automatically know, you will inevitably be disappointed when they don’t.

Compatibility

Attraction, enjoying someone’s company, developing feelings for them…it all takes a backseat to actually being compatible with a person.

Many of us get caught up in the excitement or passion of a relationship without stopping to really take inventory on whether or not this person would be compatible with the way you’re looking to live your life.

Your values, views on the world, ideas for what is “normal” in a relationship. These things are all shaped by our upbringing and life experiences, which naturally makes it difficult to find someone who aligns fully with us.

Necessary nevertheless. The way you approach every other “C” in this article comes down to how compatible you are, and if you have fundamentally different views that cannot be changed, it will cause tension in the relationship and possibly the ultimate conclusion that you simply do not work together.

That brings me to the next point:

Compromise

No matter how compatible two people are, no two people are identical. We want different things and go about our days in different ways, so while we may not always agree or even like the way our partner does something, the willingness to compromise to meet halfway is of the utmost importance for both partners.

If you are not willing to make compromises in your personal life for a partner or relationship, it’s always best to stay single until you are.

Chemistry

The truth is that sexual chemistry and attraction is an enormous part of a healthy relationship. It can also serve as a barometer for the level of emotional comfort both partners are facing. If there is a sudden lack of physical intimacy, it likely means there is a deeper-rooted cause that communication should help bring to light.

Keeping things fresh over time, prioritizing private time with each other, and continuing to do the things that attracted each other in the first place will all help to keep intimacy fun and exciting.

Commitment

This sounds obvious, but hear me out.

Nothing else here will matter if two people have not made a conscious and explicit decision to commit to each other.

This means commitment through challenges, through struggles, through hardships or life’s speed bumps.

It means commitment that ties you together along life’s journey as a team walking side by side. “Through sickness and in health.”

Of course there are exceptions — nobody should ever accept any sort of abuse, betrayal, cheating, or purposeful negligence. Everyone should have standards and boundaries and nobody should ever stay in a position that can do them emotional or physical harm.

But a commitment being made to someone provides a foundational layer to build the rest:

You communicate because you’ve committed.

You committed because you’re compatible.

You committed because you feel the chemistry.

You compromise because you’ve committed.

If any of these are broken or not present in the first place, the relationship will never flourish to its maximum potential, and there will be consistent frustration, tension, and heartbreak.

And when you do find the right person, they’ll make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.

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1 Comment

Jacqueline Smarton April 23, 2020 at 9:35 pm

i truly enjoy reading this article. It offers insight and helpful hints on building relationships. I would love to have the book, unfortunately it is not available in Kindle format, that is how I like to read.