Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Well I have not had much time to blog lately and now I'm going to be on holiday through Sunday. Plus I'm really busy today so this will be a shortie.

First offHappy Earf Day!

Okay that's about all I have time for today. But in the meantime if you're a queer woman of color & an activist or even not an activist please join the newly formed google group Radical Queer Women of Color for Peace. It rocks! http://groups.google.com/group/qwocradpeace

Sunday, April 20, 2008

My pal Jamie organized this event & my pal Nate Ashley will be playing there. If you live in or near Portland please join us at Plan B (1305 SE 8th St ) on April 24th. Women in the Congo get raped every day by "soldiers" with various items including wood chucks and bayonets which are not only psychologically damaging but can be damaging to reproductive health and can even result in death. The point of the assaults to to destroy these women and the Congolese government won't create a better justice system for perpetrators & worse some of the worst rapes are done by government troops.

So be a part of the healing and come to the benefit next Thursday starting at 8pm until 2am. Thank you for reading! Also if you belong to an area business & would like to donate a raffle prize, contact Jamie at delia.sailed@gmail.com.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Sometimes reading blogs can be a bad thing. That's why I regularly have to take breaks from reading & posting. Today may lead to another break because I thought I wasn't upset about something I read. Thought the blatant anonymous racism out the in the ether of the Internet was something I knew & therefore could be unaffected by. Yet I was wrong.

How this was figured out was after I had already gone agro on someone. While walking to the bank I didn't even realize the post I'm about to tell y'all about was spinning in my head. Not in any kind of loud way, but more like after one thought, a tiny part of this post would come back to me like a burp after a meal. Walking on Burnside ( very busy street) to my destination it seemed cars kept stopping in the crosswalks leaving no room for pedestrians to get by without having to go into the street. One car after another seemed to do this & for some reason when a silver Volvo station wagon pulled so far into the crosswalk I felt nervous to even cross it, I banged on the hood of the drivers car with my fist. Bang bang, my curled hand drummed upon the hood. Needless to say as the driver went by she was unhappy & so to top it all off I gave her the finger. Because you know, that always accomplishes something.

Pause when agitated or doubtful is often said in recovery so I had to stop & do just that. Then a laugh spontaneously poured out of me. Then I felt sad. In thinking why I was sad it occurred to me that deciding a gorgeous woman with an incredible body must be sub- or even not human, because she is Black, just hurt my heart and pissed me off. Pissed because Serena Williams has a beautiful, athletic body that even other Black women think needs to be covered. Sad because many a woman, especially woman of color has to struggle to love her own body & be actually comfortable wearing a two piece swimsuit. Annoyed because racism is so ugly and the people who say "there is no more racism" are so fucking clueless.

Racialicious has a post today on TMZ's post on Serena Williams at the beach recently. I'm not mentally well enough to even attempt going over to TMZ to see what their post had to say but on Racialicious I was glad to see a number of folks admire Serena & take issue with some of the utterly stupid comments that the TMZ site had. Here's just a few shitty things that were said:

"I think you might have found ‘the missing link’ ""Maybe Black women are not equal to white women—they are built stronger and bigger, and if so, this must be accounted for. So much for equal rights."And the whopper...“Is that human?”

Like I said most days I can deal with this stupid fucking shit. But when I see how folks channel what they will not say in public to comments on blogs, saying, at last, what they really think of POC, it is more than my brain can deal with & when I'm already not feeling good, I just kinda short circuit. Anyway I'm going to take a break from blog reading and posting for a couple days. I need to detoxify. But I promise I'll be back soon & with fewer swear words. And here's Serena. Enjoy!~F

Friday, April 11, 2008

I'm typing in a different font because I can. Anyway I got flowers from my sweetie today. A lovely rose was with several daisies & I decided to put it in my hair today. Pretty eh? It was very hard to take this pic because I was in the bathroom & despite having a mirror it was still a bit of a pain. But worth it because I love flowers in my hair & wanted to share this beautiful flower with y'all!It's really nice out so I'm not saying much today. I had some really awesome sex yesterday. I've been having constant medical issues that have caused a strain on my sex life. I won't get into the gory details but today I am extra happy because even when my beloved & I can't get it on for whatever reason, we're always close. So it's just that much hotter when we do have sexy time. All day I've been grinning like a fool. Speaking of sex check out this recent post on the Powell's Books Blog. You can actually watch a couple screw. How ever thinks books are boring is sadly mistaken!

Sunday, April 06, 2008

I can't do it. I tried to have some damn discipline with this blog & do something regularly & consistently but right now at this time in my life that ain't gonna happen. Sometimes we have to accept that failure is an option. So for now I have failed at posting great links that I love every single Friday. And for now that's okay. Because I can always try again or try in a way that is different & even better. So for now no Friday link lovin'. I'll still keep all y'all informed of great links I find but it will be back to the randomness that is a trademark of QWOC blog.

So with that I'd like to mention some yummy Internet goodies I found this week. Let's take a look shall we?

My beautiful pal Zee has BlogHer ads on her blog & for the first time one ad actually got my attention. It's called ModestNeeds.org. Here is thier mission:To prevent otherwise financially self-sufficient individuals and families from entering the cycle of poverty, when this might be avoided with a small amount of well-timed financial assistance;To restore the financial self-sufficiency of individuals who are willing to work but are temporarily unable to do so because they do not have the means to remit payment for a work-related expense; and To empower permanently disadvantaged individuals who otherwise live within their limited means to continue to live independently, despite a temporary, unexpected financial set-back.There are some really neat points to this charity including that it is an accredited charity of the BBB (Better Business Bureau), it's tax deductible and best, 65% of the folks who utilize funds from Modest Needs become donors themselves. The whole point of Modest Needs is to keep otherwise self sufficient folks from floating into a sea of poverty over 1 or two sudden emergencies. It's not meant for folks who are constantly needing help. It's just working or middle class folks helping each other. I think it's a lovely cause!

Okay so switching gears a bit here is something I stumbled upon a couple months ago. It's called the Happiness Manifesto. It can be adjusted by each individual but it goes a little something like this...

Get physical. Engage in half an hour of exercise three times a week

Count your blessings. At the end of each day, reflect on at least five things you are grateful for

Plant something. Even if it's a window box or pot. And, you must keep it alive

Cut your TV viewing by half

Smile at and/or say hello to someone you don't know. At least once each day

Phone a friend. Make contact with a friend or relation you have not talked to for a while and arrange to meet up

Have a good laugh at least once a day

Every day make sure you give yourself a treat. Take time to really enjoy this

Daily kindness. Do an extra good turn for someone each day

Things have been increasingly busy for me since mid 2007. So I think this happiness manifesto is a positive way of staying on track, during times of good & bad stress. I'll post (hopefully) regular, but random updates on how I'm living this manifesto & what some of my thoughts, feelings & experiences with it are. Anyone care to join me?

And now the dear diary portion of this post. So life has been great and very busy as many of you know. It's gotten busier with great things & I'm so grateful! My only issue is I don't know how to balance a beautiful life. Chaos, drama, ugly moments are easy. I know that stuff. I'm in recovery for a reason after all! So I'm taking baby steps all over again it feels like. Learning how to have success and joy & a productive healthy life is something I have worked so hard to have in this life & now it's here & by golly it's a little (a lot) hard to navigate these waters. Thank goddess for recovery & friends who have experience in (gosh this sounds silly, but it's the truth of where I'm at!) being happy & following their dreams & talents. These folks are helping me remember to stay in each moment and really relish in the gift that each moment has. And doing lots of various step work & going to regular meetings helps more than I can say. Who knew I'd need more meetings in health than pain?!

So as I continue this path I'm reminded that today is meant to be taken in bites. That the creator & it's angels are really here right now, even as I type these words. All I (or we) have to do is keep breathing, keep trying & keep up the faith. No matter how good or bad things get. Peace y'all!