Child Abuse Story From Meru:

I
don't have very many good memories of my childhood. I had two older sisters,
and was usually ignored.

I
used to have a cyst on my kidney, which made me wet my pants and my bed. One
time my dad told me if I didn't stop he would send me to an orphanage. So I
would live everyday trying to hide it. [I] would go for weeks with soaking wet
bed sheets and dirty clothes because I was so ashamed and so afraid that my dad
would send me away.

My
dad always spoiled my middle sister. And the oldest sister was the one who
always got into trouble. I always felt insecure and ignored.

One
year we went to my grandparents house for Christmas, and my cousin sexually
molested me. He told me that if I told anyone then I would get into trouble.
Again that fear of being sent away was struck in my heart.

Not
even a year later, my oldest sister would sexually molest me. She told me I had
to or she would tell my parents that I still wet the bed. So I did what she
told me to for well over 6 months. By the time I realized it was wrong, it was
too late.

When
I was fourteen I went to a friend's house, and we were drinking. She invited a
guy that she knew over. He introduced me to marijuana. She [my friend] got so
drunk that she could barely move on her own. The guy made advances on me and I
was too scared to do anything. I shook my head no, but I was too scared to say
no. I felt like I let it happen.

Not
even a year later, it was nine days after my 15th birthday, I was raped by
someone who I thought was a close friend. I had told him no, but again [I] did
not have the courage to fight. I had withheld that information for years. It
was my downfall.

I
have issues with letting guys take advantage of me. I am still very afraid to
say no now and to fight. I have difficulties being in a decent relationship. My
haunted past always messes it all up.

I am now turning 20 this year, and I'm in a
relationship that isn't abusive in any way . . . but I'm so afraid that this
depression I struggle with due to my past is going to tear it all apart, like
it has torn me apart.

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My goal is to inspire you, challenge your thoughts, and break open your heart. Your Self already knows you're remarkable and that the world needs you, more now than ever. It's time you know it and believe it too.

Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge the child abuse
stories on this site are true. While I cannot guarantee
this, I do try to balance the need for the submitter to be
heard and validated with the needs of my visitors.