Poet...Musician...Thinker...Blogger...Teacher...Husband...Father...I'm not perfect, but I try!

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

July 14: Eerie Shadows, Teeth Grinding, Adrienne Su, "Antidepressant"

...One night, while working late, Ives, in his fatigue, staggered out to Madison Avenue: for as far as he could see, the office buildings were casting eerie shadows, and he felt the world a lonely and dreadful place. He often awoke with a gasp in the middle of the night, his heartbeat accelerated, his breathing shallow, his heart filled with sadness, his head with memory.

After his son is killed, Ives has trouble sleeping. Nightmares. Scratching his arms and legs bloody. And sadness, tremendous sadness. Ives feels cheated. His son, his good and devout son, has been taken away from him. God hasn't played fair.

Some news from the University of Michigan this morning: the brain biopsy has confirmed that my sister has lymphoma of the brain. The neurologist and oncologist are discussing treatment options, including chemotherapy and radiation. The question is whether or not my sister can survive the treatments.

Recently, I've been having trouble sleeping. I wake up in the morning, and my jaw hurts. I've never been a teeth grinder before. This summer, I'm worried that I'm going to fracture my molars or bicuspids or canines. I went to the dentist a little over a month-and-a-half ago. He confirmed the grinding and told me to take ibuprofen and not chew with my back teeth. For a while, that did the trick. The last couple of weeks, however, have been a test, and my mouth is failing.

Of course, it's all about stress, and I feel stupid complaining about sore teeth when my sister is fighting for her life. Like Ives, I don't think God is playing fair. My sister deserves better. I will put up with some cracked teeth if my sister will live to see my son graduate from high school.

Hagiography

I am a father, husband, poet, teacher, musician, Christian, son, brother, friend, free thinker (not necessarily always in that order). I try to love everybody and dislike only those who deserve it (but in a kind, funny, sometimes sarcastic manner). Take everything I say with a grain of salt (or a shot of tequila--your choice). I don't mean to offend anyone. My only goal is to make you laugh and think a little.

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