Now I’m not a religious man, I consider myself a man of science and logic, but when you support a club that was formed from a young men’s church association, their ground is called St. Mary’s, their nickname is the Saints, were graced for a years by ‘Le God’ and now they even have a ‘Holy Goalie’, you begin to wonder if divine intervention has ever helped our cause.

Holy Goalie – Good with crosses.

The Easter weekend is upon us, and Saints welcome European Champions Chelsea to St. Mary’s and it got me thinking. The Easter bank holiday fixtures are a tradition in English football and with Saints christian links, surely this is a fruitful time of year for the club?

And, actually, it is.

I had a look at Saints Easter weekend fixtures over the last 10 seasons (please don’t research their Easter results prior to this period, they are very dull and irrelevant) and found quite a remarkable success rate.

Saints record since the 02/03 season on Easter Weekend actually reads:- P – 10 W – 7 D – 2 L – 1 Pts – 23 GF – 17 GA – 9. You actually have to go as far back as 2004 to find the only defeat, a 1-3 reverse at Middlesbrough. Two of Boro’s goals came from devout Catholics Juninho and Massimo Maccarone. Coincidence?

Last season Saints hosted bitter rivals Pompey on Easter weekend, which accounts for one of the two draws, David Norris stealing a point deep into injury time. Religious people tell me that ‘God moves in mysterious ways’, and there wasn’t much more mysterious than that.

Billy, shall I put a picture of Norris’ goal in?

In the previous season, Saints fans will remember Jose Fonte’s winner at the Withdean, and then Saints made it a 6 point double header with victory over Hartlepool in the same weekend. What’s that readers? That means that in one of the previous seasons we can’t have had an Easter weekend fixture? That’s right we didn’t, 2005/05 the Premier League relegation season. Punishment for having Judas Iscariot himself at the helm? (One of Judas’s main weaknesses seemed to be money (John 12:4–6).)

Fonte christens the net.

So are Rafa Benitez’ Chelsea ready to be crucified tomorrow? Are we going to see the second coming of the messiah (in my mind this will be presented to us in the form of a Guly do Prado finish)? Can Saints peform a miracle?

Who knows, with God as our co-pilot anything can happen and probably will.

In the same time as it has taken me to write 157 posts of inane drivel, viewed over 170,000 times, Saint have been promoted twice and changed managers. The first game after the birth of this site was a goalless draw away at Hartlepool and it turns two on the back of a 3-1 victory over the champions of England!

For those of you that remember, I celebrated last year’s first birthday with the inaugural ‘Ali Dia award for services to Southampton’ to midfielder Oscar Gobern, and this year is no exception. This award is presented to someone who has done something that has caught the eye in a Saints shirt.

After hours of discussion amongst the jury (myself, Ali Dia, Federico Arias and Agustin Delgado) we are delighted to announce that this year winner is:- Billy Sharp.

Sharp was considered a worthy winner of this award after shushing our poor relations down the road at St. Mary’s at the back end of last season. Congratulations Billy!

Shhhhhhharp!

Thanks to everyone who has read the blog over the last year, and here is to another!

Seeing as Saints cleverly thought ahead, and knowing that Mauricio Pochettino’s impending high pressing game was going to require some serious energy, rolled over for Chelsea and got themselves a rest this weekend, I thought I would tackle some general Saints worries and get the feelings of the other great Saints bloggers out there.

No matter how well things are going for Saints we can always find something to worry about, it’s in our nature, so this is a mixture of positives and negatives…

GdlC – ‘It’s about how I expected in terms of league position. We are playing better football than I expected though.’

SGL – ‘I think this season has been a pretty decent showing in our return to the Premier League. Our first 10 fixtures didn’t help us. However, the players have coped with the demands of the top flight and we have shown everyone that we can compete against England’s elite. I would have expected us to have a few more points though.’

WT – ‘I’d say as expected. Expected us to be battling relegation and we are.’

BS – ‘I think, as expected by most, Saints are in a relegation battle with 17th being the minimum target for the end of the season. They have however shown throughout the season (except Arsenal away) that they can compete with anyone in the league, home or away, but the amount of points thrown away from winning positions has been both regular and disappointing.’

SD – ‘We’re about where I thought we’d be. I did think we’d pick up a few more points at the start, even with that awful run of fixtures, but our recent form has made up for that somewhat. I didn’t expect anything other than a struggle to be honest, so as long as we stay up this season I’ll be satisfied. I think the teams at the bottom of the table are slightly stronger than they have been in recent Premier League seasons, so it was always going to be difficult to establish ourselves at first.’

EK – ‘I would put us on course of exactly where I thought we would be, although the last four games under Pochettino has been a wake up call and there is a real optimism that we can progress well and challenge the teams above us.’

Who has been your player of the season so far?

AI – ‘Nathaniel Clyne. Consistently excellent at right-back, contributing in defence and attack. Should be in the England squad.’

GdlC – ‘Morgan Schneiderlin, honourable mentions to Jack Cork, Sir Rickie and Luke Shaw. By the end of the season it will be Artur Boruc.’

SGL – ‘For me, either Rickie Lambert or Morgan Schneiderlin.’

WT – ‘Morgan Schneiderlin’

BS – ‘No doubt about it for me – Morgan Schneiderlin! Lambert’s goals have been important but Morgan’s energy, commitment, tackling and even his goals this season have been very consistent. As a young player who has been with the Club nearly 10 years now its great to see how far he has come and he must be one of the first names on the team sheet each week!’

SD – ‘Nathaniel Clyne has been unbelievably consistent at right-back, while Jason Puncheon has done better than anyone could have imagined, but for me you can’t look beyond Morgan Schneiderlin. I’ve always been a fan, but for me he’s improved immeasurably every year. He’s pretty much the total package now. His reading of the game is top class, as is his tackling and passing. He’s even added goals to his repertoire this season.’

EK – ‘Morgan Schneiderlin by an absolute mile, we all knew he had it in him. But he’s excelled in every area and it’s great to see him enjoying his football with Saints, not to mention he’s the top tackler in the Premier League!’

Schneiderlin just in front of Nathaniel Clyne…

Will Saints stay up?

AI – ‘Yes.’

GdlC – ‘Yes – 3 from Wigan, Reading, QPR and Villa will go.’

SGL – ‘Absolutely! Before the season started, I stated that Saints would finish between 12th and 15th in the table. It is still possible to achieve this!’

WT – ‘Yes. Well they should do.’

BS – ‘Yes – just! Saints have lacked the ability to close off games this season and its already cost them 24 points! They can’t keep doing it! Performances have been good but Saints need to be more clinical at both ends or they will be in trouble! Luckily for us it seems that there may be 3 ‘worse’ teams than us.’

SD – ‘I’m cautiously optimistic that we will. I’m pretty satisfied with the squad we’ve got, and I’m confident that there are at least three teams worse than us. Having said that, I’m concerned about us throwing away so many points in games we really should have won. We could really be in trouble if a few key players come down with injuries, but that could be said of any team. I predict we’ll be in the mix until near the end, but survive with a late rally. ‘

EK – ‘Yes, I’ve always had faith in this team and I believe with Pochettino leading us we will be a Premier League team next year.’

Adkins/Pochettino. Still hurting or looking forwards?

AI – ‘Looking forward to a bright future- no point dwelling on the past.’

GdlC – ‘Looking forwards – no point doing anything else. Nigel’s done well out of us and he’ll move on to good things.’

SGL – ‘Hmmm. I was disgusted with the circumstances of Adkins’ sacking and thoroughly deserved more time. I will never forget the job he has done for the club though. I wasn’t sure about Pochettino at first. However, his style of football was really appealed to me.’

WT – ‘Still can’t watch/listen to ‘The Man in the Glass’ but Pochettino is an exciting appointment.’

BS – ‘I was thoroughly disappointed about Saints treatment of Nigel. Disgusted! To have never thanked him for his achievements at Saints was not in the spirit of the Club I love! He was a great character at Saints and we will always owe him a lot BUT I will always support Saints whoever is stood on the touch line – so for me it’s a case of the king is dead, long live the king!’

SD – ‘Like everyone else I was very shocked when it all happened, but the more I read and see about Pochettino, the more optimistic I feel about the future. Time will tell if it was the right decision, but the early signs are good. The players seem to genuinely like him and already look to be buying into his ideas. I will never have a bad word said about Adkins, but if Pochettino delivers I will be glad we made the change.’

EK – ‘Still hurts the way Adkins was treated at the end, but these last few games we have played some quite outstanding football and the future looks to be a bright one under Pochettino.’

Will Redknapp keep QPR up?

AI – ‘No.’

GdlC – ‘No. Will he take any responsibility? No.’

SGL – ‘I don’t think he will. QPR’s problem is that they have too many individual players instead of team players.’

WT – ‘The million pound question if the contract rumours are true. Think it’s too steep a challenge even for Mr Houdini.’

BS – ‘Nope! They’ve been the worst team in the Premier League all season, bought in far too many players in the summer and prayed that they all ‘gelled’ but they haven’t! They also have failed to get another striker in in January to cover Loic Remy, who is injured – again! Whilst they’ve tightened up at the back I simply can’t see them scoring the goals they need to to stay up!’

SD – ‘I don’t think so. Granted they have improved recently, but if you stick eleven men behind the ball, you’re always going to pick a few 0-0 draws. It’s still a hell of a gap they have to make up. Sooner or later they are going to have to start attacking teams. I’m just not sure where the goals are going to come from. You’d think they’ll need a minimum of six wins from their remaining thirteen games, and even that might not be enough. It’s a big ask for a team who have only won twice all season.’

EK – ‘No.’

This little piggy went to High Court, this little piggy lost at home…

Le Tiss/Cortese. Damaging the club or irrelevant squabbling?

AI – ‘Pretty irrelevant, but certainly can’t help the club.’

GdlC – ‘Gives the media a negative stick to hit us with. For me it’s very, very boring.’

SGL – ‘It is depressing to see the pair as it doesn’t help whatsoever. Without Liebherr and Cortese, there would be no Southampton Football Club. It seems to me they’re out to score points as if they’re on the Jeremy Kyle Show! Le Tiss hasn’t helped by going to the media about it all but, on the other hand, the fans might know what is actually going on.’

WT – ‘Petty but not irrelevant. I find it quite sad.’

BS – ‘A bit of both! Cortese runs the Club and Le Tiss needs to appreciate that! It’s his rules now! I don’t agree with Cortese’s ‘dictator style’ rule setting all the time but whilst Matt is, and probably always will be, the greatest player I’ve ever seen in the beloved red and white, he isn’t the smartest when it comes to speaking his mind publicly re Cortese!’

SD – ‘It is what it is. In an ideal world they would get on, but they don’t. Not a big deal, at the moment at least. I love Matt as much as the next fan, but sometimes I don’t think he helps himself by constantly sniping at Cortese so publicly. The meeting thing was a bit of a farce. I doubt either man had any intention of ever going through with it, both we’re playing a childish game. It was so predictable how it turned out. Matt has made his point countless times, and while he may be justified in some of the things he says, most fans have already decided which side of the fence they are on. There is very little he could say now to make people change their minds. Fans will only turn on Cortese if the team stop delivering on the pitch. Rightly or wrongly most supporters will turn a blind eye to pretty much everything as long as the team is winning. If things turn sour then people will be ready to attack, and Cortese might wish he hadn’t made so many enemies. Personally I think he’s a very shrewd guy, and I’m confident we will continue to be successful under his guidance.’

EK – ‘Damaging their reputations with the fans more than the club, but I personally think it’s pretty irrelevant.’

Pompey. Sympathy or Satisfaction?

AI – ‘Sympathy. The majority of their fans don’t deserve it.’

GdlC – ‘Bit of both. I have kids in the U9 team I help run who wear Skates shirts to training cos Dad supports them and that’s fine. I’d rather that than Man U/Chelsea to be honest. Would hate to explain to my lad that his team had gone. However, they are a cess-pit and should have been thrown out of the league 2 years ago. There are some special people on Twitter who deserve the worst to happen.’

SGL – ‘I have never seen a club in such a worse state than Pompey in my lifetime as yet. I have sympathy for the fans as we all know how they feel as we were in administration four years ago. There is some satisfaction as they simply used money that they didn’t have and the previous owners have ruined the club completely.’

WT – ‘Can’t say I haven’t enjoyed sniggering at the results and numerous has beens they keep signing up. I have sympathy for some of the fans though.’

BS – ‘Unfortunately I have no sympathy for them! Forget their fans, the Club actively cheated the system by winning a Cup with a team they couldn’t afford to buy, achieved European football through this and therefore revenues that a more deserving Club should have had, left charities out of pocket through non-payments and mistreated local businesses as well – potentially the most important ‘fans’ to any Club! Compared to some other Clubs like Aldershot, Luton, Rotherham, who in similar positions suffered sever consequences, Pompey have managed to get off very lightly so far! No Club in British Football history has been so mismanaged by people clearly selfish in their desire to win! History will show that they achieved great things in a short space of time but the reality is that they did it dishonestly and their upcoming comeuppance will be very satisfying for many people!’

SD – ‘I’m pretty indifferent to the whole situation to be honest. Between 2005-2009 I was very bitter about their success. It hurt to see them doing do well, while we were struggling. I would have given anything to see them crash and burn, but now that natural order has been restored I’m content again. I don’t really take much notice of what they are doing anymore.’

EK – ‘Both, I know a lot of Pompey fans so anything to do with the performance on the field I can have a little laugh, but everything off it isn’t particularly nice.’

Jermain, did you hear the one about the unpayed bonuses?

Any Niggling worries about Saints?

AI – ‘That we’re not clinical enough in front of goal.’

GdlC – ‘If we stay up we’ll be fine and push on. Relegated and we lose Boruc, Clyne, Shaw, Morgan, Cork, Ramirez, Lambert and have to virtually start again – oh, and I expect we’d need a new manager. On the pitch, an injury to Sir Rickie would still kill us and the central defence needs to sort itself out.’

SGL – ‘I’m slightly worried at the fact that we can’t hold onto leads in games. The statistic of losing 27 points from winning positions doesn’t look good. However, I’m sure we can get the points to stay up.’

WT – ‘Only with the way former players seem to be treated. Le Tiss and co paying for tickets is disgusting in my opinion.’

BS – ‘Just their inability to cut out the niggling defensive mistakes and close off games when they’re leading! They must be more ruthless when leading and get ‘wise’ to seeing out Premier League games.’

SD – ‘The obvious worry is that our star players will eventually be picked off by bigger clubs. Jason Puncheon is worthy of a new deal, but I’m concerned he may not be given one because of his history with Cortese. Schneiderlin’s contract is up in 2014, so that’s another issue that needs addressing soon. If he were to move it would leave a huge whole in the team. He seems very happy at Southampton, but I doubt his recent form has gone unnoticed. He wouldn’t look out of place at any Premier League club in my opinion.’

EK – ‘Relegation is always on my mind despite the confidence I have in the team, as well as potential injuries to big players.’

Guly. Got to go or does a job?

AI – ‘Does a job. The majority of the criticism he gets is totally unfair as people look for a scapegoat.’

GdlC – ‘Does a job when needed as a squad player. Not a starter and forgive the Brazilian stereotype but away from home on a freezing cold day – leave him at home.’

SGL – ‘Difficult as we don’t know which Guly will turn up! I have to be honest in that I wasn’t his biggest fan but I’d never boo him. At times, he does do a job. I don’t think he is Premier League quality. Although, he has put in some respectable performances recently. I have no idea whether he will move on in the summer though.’

WT – ‘Definitely does a job. The abuse he receives is ridiculous, we have far worse players than him.’

BS – ‘Any player who wears a Saints shirt should be cheered not booed! Guly is not one of my favourite players but he certainly does a job and, bearing in mind the continual abuse he gets from the uneducated section of the Saints fan base, I think he should be applauded for that!’

SD – ‘It annoys me how so many people ignore all the good things he does, and then barrack him every time he makes the slightest mistake. Sometimes he has bad games, but who doesn’t? Most other players can get away with the odd poor showing, but with Guly it’s always a massive scandal. I have no idea what the new coaching staff thinks of him, but I know for a fact he was very highly regarded by Adkins. I’ve heard from more than one player that his teammates think very highly of him too. Ultimately they are the people who really matter, and if Guly is good enough for them then he’s good enough for me. I wouldn’t start him every week, and I suspect he’ll be gradually phased out over the next 18 months, but for now he still has an important role to play.’

EK – ‘Does the job, I’ve never understood the hate towards him, he is the one who helps Saints retain possession of the ball and can on his day change the game with a little bit of his Brazilian magic…although that has been pretty limited so far this season.’

Thanks again to those that took part! Some differing opinions, but credit to the players who have made some very consistent looking starting XI’s, and with recent performances, I think it would be fair to say that Jay Rodriguez is giving Mr. Pochettino some nice selection problems!

Another relativley simple team to compile, and I am sure there are many more players who could have made the final team, with a few exceptions, I managed to pick a team of players who I particularly enjoyed at Saints. So here it is:-

Goalkeeper

Richard Wright

Current City keeper Wright signed at the Etihad in the summer last year as cover for Joe Hart and Costel Pantillimon. The highly rated young keeper made a big money move to Arsenal from Ipswich Town in 2001, and had spells at Everton and West Ham before a highly successful loan spell at Saints in 2008. Has had three spells with hometown club Ipswich before signing for City. Also made the Played for Both: Everton side.

Richard Wright

Defender

Kevin Bond

Cockney Bond, began his career on the South Coast with AFC Bournemouth, playing for his dad John. He followed his dad to Norwich City in 1974 and played over 160 games for the Canaries before heading to the North American Soccer League in 1981, playing for Seattle. His dad bought him back to England with City where he played over 100 times, before Lawrie McMenemy prized him away from his family ties and brought him to the Dell in 1984. Bond was well regarded at Saints, playing over 120 times in four seasons. He returned to Dean Court in 1988 and linked up with former boss Harry Redknapp on the backroom staff at Portsmouth. He followed Redknapp to Saints in 2005 and subsequently back to Portsmouth, Spurs and now QPR with a brief stint as Bournemouth boss in between.

Defender

Dave Watson

Centre half Watson was already an England international when he signed for City in 1975, having made a name for himself at Sunderland. He won the League Cup with the club in 1976, and was eventually made captain. He stayed at Maine Road until 1979 when he was sold to Werder Bremen. He failed to settle in Germany though, and he soon returned to England, signing for Saints for £200,000. Although now into his 30’s, Watson was a decent performer for Saints, and continued his England career. He stayed at the Dell until 1982 when he moved on to Stoke City. His career started to wind down and he retired in 1986.

Dave Watson

Defender

Wayne Bridge

When Southampton boy Bridge signed for City in 2009 he joined Sean Wright-Phillips as one of the two players to be signed by both ‘New Money’ clubs. Bridge graduated from the Saints Academy having joined his hometown club in 1996. He made his first team debut in ’98 and never looked back, ending his Saints career by playing in the 2003 FA Cup final. He went on to be a League and Cup winner with Chelsea before making the move up North. Has since been loaned to West Ham and Sunderland, and is currently on loan ar Brighton.

Wayne Bridge

Midfield

Peter Reid

Another who made the Played for Both: Everton side, Reid started to wind his playing career down (having already come out of retirement) with Saints in the 1993/94 season having recently been sacked as City’s player-manager.

Midfield

Graham Baker

Local lad Baker signed for Saints in 1973, and was promoted to first team duties in 1977. He made over 100 energetic performances in Saints midfield before he was sold to City for £350,000 in 1982. He stayed at Maine Road for five seasons, suffering two relegations and experiencing one promotion. By this time he was out of favour and returned to the Dell on a free transfer in 1987. He had later spells with Fulham and Aldershot before retiring in 1992. Definitely a hint of Karl Pilkington about him…

Graham Baker

Midfield

Djamel Belmadi

French born Algerian Belmadi was a veteran of the French league, having played for the likes of PSG, Marseille and Cannes. He had a loan spell in Spain with Celta Vigo before City took him on a temporary basis in 2003, and he played eight times for the club, including being part of the side that lost to Saints in the last ever game at Maine Road. On his return to Marseille he was released and spent two years playing in Qatar before Harry Redknapp signed him for Saints in 2005. Belmadi was a popular player at Saints, putting in some accomplished performances at Championship level. Sadly he was another victim of the financial issues at the club and left for France in 2007. He became manager of Qatari side Lekhwiya in 2010, and led them to the league title in his first season (the first in their history), also losing in the cup final. They won the league again in his second season, but Belmadi resigned soon into the third season after a poor start.

Djemal Belmadi

Attacking Midfield

Eyal Berkovic

Outspoken Israeli Berkovic was brought to the Premier League by Saints in 1996 from Maccabi Haifa and was an instant hit on the South Coast, with his neat skill and inventiveness he was instrumental in several great Saints performances. Rumours of dressing room unrest soon followed (something that would become commonplace in his career) and a falling out with Saints boss Graeme Souness meant his Saints career would likely end before it had really started. He signed for West Ham the following summer, and despite lasting two seasons will mainly be remembered for being kicked in the head by John Hartson in training. He was offloaded to Celtic, but again he proved unpopular and went on loan to Blackburn. Kevin Keegan signed Berkovic for City in 2001, but was in and out of the team with injury, soon falling out with Keegan and criticising the manager publicly. He was signed for a second time by Harry Redknapp at Portsmouth in 2004, and stayed for a season before returning to Maccabi Haifa. Retired in 2006, and made the headlines again in 2007, after assaulting his son’s coach who had just substituted junior Berkovic! Eyal was given 100 hours community service.

Eyal Berkovic

Midfield

Ronnie Ekelund

Sigh. What might have been? The Dane who was signed by Alan Ball in 1995 as a favour from old friend and then Barcelona boss Johan Cruyff was a sensation in partnership with Le Tissier. With the two leading the attacks, Saints played breathtaking football and in Ekelund Saints had found a player who loved the club and that love was reciprocated. Sadly, due to a niggling back injury that Ekelund didn’t want to be operated on, he never signed permanently for the club. Ekelund joined up with Ball again at City the following season, but failed to have the same impact. Brief spells at Coventry, back in Denmark, France and Wallsall followed but Ekelund never settled anywhere before he went to the US. He became a legend at San Jose Earthquakes and went on to be a technical advisor for the club after retirement We will always have 1994/95.

Ronnie Ekelund

Forward

Uwe Rosler

East German international Rosler arrived in England in 1994 after signing for City from FC Nuremberg. He became a fans favourite at Maine Road, scoring 50 times for the club in his five seasons. He returned to Germany and Kaiserslautern in 1998 and returned to England with Saints in 2000 on a free transfer from Tennis Borussia Berlin. Despite not scoring a single league goal for Saints, he was a popular figure and did score once in a cup game. He also scored the last ever (unofficial) goal at the Dell in the celebratory friendly against Brighton, and also scored (twice) in the first ever game at St. Mary’s against Espanyol! After a spell on loan at WBA, Rosler left England for a spell playing and coaching in Norway. He battled lung cancer and made a return to football as manager of Lillestrom. Now manager of Brentford.

Uwe Rosler

Forward

Mick Channon

Saints legend Channon played over 500 times for the club, and is the it’s record goalscorer with 228. He had two highly successful spells at The Dell with a two season period with City in between. Channon played over 70 times for City and scored 24 goals as he tried to establish himself in the first division. FA Cup winner with Saints in 1976.

Mick Channon

So there is another team, plenty of goals in it I reckon! As always, be great to hear some other suggestion!

Generally, Saints style was fluid and attractive, particular highlights were the games against Middlesbrough and Birmingham. However, when hanging round with the boys at the other end of the class, Saints had a habit of dropping to their level. They also found it hard to maintain a good standard of work during practical examinations. B.

English

Nigel Adkins, again provided the season with some useful soundbytes. While Dean Hammond let the side down with horrific use of profanity live in front of a full assembly. C.

French

Morgan Schneiderlin was one of the season’s stand out performers, deservedly winning “Most Improved Player” in the gwc.com awards. His confident playmaking from central midfield was sorely missed when he had a spell on the sidelines. A.

Geography

One of Saints weakest subjects. Taking 36 points from a possible 69, Saints away form so often looked like it could be their undoing. Must do better next year. D.

History

Nigel Adkins tenure as Saints boss has seen record breaking as an almost weekly occurrence. Saints completed their longest streak of league wins in a row in August (10) and home league wins in a row in November (19). Saints ended the season by breaking their attendance record too, 32,363 people watched Saints beat Coventry and secure promotion to the Premier League. A.

Home Economics

Superb. Losing just three games all season at St. Mary’s, Saints home form was top of the class. Taking 52 points from a possible 69 and boasting a staggering +31 goal difference, Saints showed that fortress St. Mary’s is a difficult place to come for any team. A+.

A grade season for the Saints!

Mathematics

Towards the end of the season, mathematics played a crucial part. Saints managed to make final day with an equation so difficult for West Ham to solve, promotion was still in their hands. P = (S(pvCC) ≥ (WHU(pvHC). B.

One of the stand out pupils in this subject. Fitness so often saw other teams bullied into submission. Saints losing only one game in which they scored first. Notable mentions for Billy Sharp – Wrestling, Adam Lallana – Watersports, Guly do Prado – Maverick Samba Dance. A.

Religious Studies

Saints found their way to the promised land of the Premier League with the help of several Gods and some divine intervention at Elland Road. B.

Science

Nigel Adkins theory that “it’s about winning games of football” was put into practice and was a resounding success. In 26 out of 46 (56.5%) cases studied, it was found that winning equated to a better league placing. Biology – Physical specimens such as Jos Hooiveld (size) and Steve de Ridder (pace) showed great effort for the team, contributing to much success. Chemistry – Breathtaking link up play at times between full-backs, midfield, Lallana, Lambert, Guly and Sharp. Physics – Rickie Lambert defied the laws of Physics on more than one occasion with a staggering record of getting a spherical (changed from cylindrical, as pointed out by several eagle eyed readers. E grade for me. – Chris) object into a guarded net with numerous variables. A.

Attendance

With an average of 26,419 Saints had the second best attendance of all pupils at home, and an average of 2,390 on the road, the third best of all pupils away. Notably, scoring considerably higher than “The bestest fans in the world” on both counts. B.

Behaviour

Generally behaviour was acceptable. Some boisterousness when arguing with the posh Berkshire head boy and the rough cockney troublemaker. Ongoing arguments with nearest neighbour. We’ve had to separate them. C+.

Overall

It has been a very good term for Southampton FC. Surprising many with their performance, it is with upmost confidence that they will go into the higher school next year. With continued improvement and application, Saints should find the step up challenging yet rewarding! A.

So that is our alternative view of the past season!

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So the second and last South Coast derby of the season came round this Saturday and unlike the previous incarnation the dubious yet clever title ‘El Clasicoast’ was far more fitting this time round.

Of course, both sets of fans completely out-sung each other again, neither hearing a peep out of the other “until they scored” but on the pitch a better example of a rip roaring rivals clash you will struggle to find.

Flying tackles and handbags were the order of the day for the first twenty minutes as both sides tried to impose themselves physically on the occasion, and it was soon clear that the form book and league table were going to be irrelevant to the final outcome.

It was Saints that drew first metaphorical blood (Schneiderlin was the first physical victim), when Billy Sharp smartly finished after Rickie Lambert (Was he even playing? Japed my Pompey chums after the game.) cushioned the ball down from a corner.

It didn’t take Pompey long to get back level though, Chris Maguire hitting a screamer to silence the already silent home fans.

Level at the break and neither side could have many complaints, Michael Appleton perhaps the happier boss, his tactical decisions working well to stifle the potent Saints attack.

Who got the final touch?

After the break, it was Pompey that came out of the blocks quickest, but Saints rode the storm and took control for a decent period. Jamie Ashdown then kept the scores level with great saves from Lallana and Fonte respectively.

Lallana was then viciously taken down in the box by Ashdown when clean through as Saints pressed.

Eventually though it was another corner that undid the visitors, Billy Sharp again getting on the end of it. Then it was given offside. Then it wasn’t. I am reliably informed by fans of both sides that it was definitely on and offside.

“Some people are on the pitch, they think it’s all over….. It is n… Oh wait.”

Four minutes into stoppage time, how much of which was added on due to some of the over zealous celebrations only the ref will know, David Norris volleyed the scores level at 2-2 to seal the victory for Portsmouth and take all three points back along the M27.

Amongst the celebrations Ricardo Rocha intentionally tried to kill a fan by smashing the ball into the crowd and seemingly all memory of the game was lost. Of course, both teams deserved to win, both are crap and Saints certainly will/won’t get promoted and Pompey obviously will/won’t survive.

In a true show of neighbourly spirit though, the fans of Southampton lined the streets to wave off the 3,033 Pompey fans and one traumatised local journalist, shaking and tightly clutching his bag of sweets as they rode their victory bubble back to Fratton…..

To end this on a serious note, it was a fantastic game, a great spectacle and a fair result. It might be the last one for a long time. Let’s hope it isn’t the last one ever.

As Pompey got what was in my opinion, a fantastic result for them in the courtrooms of London yesterday, there was a certain case of mixed feelings from the fans on both sides of Hampshire.

Pompey could have left their administration hearing yesterday, either facing a winding up order on Monday or yet again in the hands of Balram Chanrai’s financial puppet Andrew Andronikou, but they didn’t. The judge’s decision to appoint an independent administrator can only be good news, and a spell in administration and a ten point deduction has to have been the best possible outcome.

The reaction from fans was as expected. The sensible skates knew they had come out bruised but breathing, others were still bemoaning the points deduction (which fans of Leeds, Bournemouth and Luton may be thinking was actually very lenient).

On the red side of Hampshire it was a mixture of mockery and in my opinion misplaced disappointment.

I am a Saints fan, and by default I want Pompey as a football club to suffer in every way imaginable, but to want them to die is incomprehensible to me. A true sadist wants to see the infliction of pain not death. In an ideal world, this bout of administration will see them slide into League One and footballing obscurity. But to disappear completely? No thanks.

Derby Day. Nothing quite like it.

In my relatively short time as a fan of Saints, I am on the cusp of seeing a full 360 circle in fortunes of my two “local” professional clubs. Isn’t that the beauty of rivalry? I have taken as much stick as I have given out. I have seen us within touching distance of the top and at rock bottom, likewise I have seen both of these situations for our poor relations down the road, and often when one is experiencing the ultimate highs, the other is having their major lows. I have argued passionately with Pompey fans I consider friends and I have laughed and joked with them over a beer about the often ridiculous goings on at our respective loves.

Don’t get me wrong, it took me all of about 30 seconds after the administration announcement to text my skate mates “Now you have been in administration three times, do you get to keep it?”

In fact I was pretty proud of myself that I managed to avoid the ridiculously overused:- Sunny in [Insert Home Town], -10 in [Insert recently placed into admin Rival]

Where would we be without this?

No matter how much success either club has, no matter what trophies they win or how many times they are relegated. Two things will remain constant for both. The fans and each other. We will still hate them, and they will still hate us.

We may be a far cry from 1939 and the Pompey players parading the FA Cup at the Dell to rapturous applause, but I would like to think we haven’t reached such depths of hatred that either group of fans would hope to never see the other again. Besides there is a very thin line between hate and love.

Due to our recent ascendancy it is perhaps easy to forget that we have been in this position ourselves, and while it might not have been to the level of destruction that has happened at Fratton over the past couple of years, it also came down to the financial mis-dealings of dodgy owners.

The problem in these situation is, that the fans will always be the victims, for us it was at the hands of an upper class English hockey fan, while for Pompey it has come at the hands of a string of mysterious foreigners. Either way in no way were any of these people fans of the clubs themselves and the situation both clubs found themselves in could easily happen to anyone.

Saints and Pompey are enemies but they are enemies with a mutual interest, like a bickering married couple who were once in love but lost their way and now have irreconcilable differences, neither quite able to shake the other one off. Mainly because they don’t really want to. Each flirting with other women (Bournemouth, Brighton etc.) but never quite getting that same undeniable high you get in each others presence.

Come the summer we will be shortly and temporarily reunited in support of the Hampshire cricket team, and the England national team at Euro 2012, although the almost certain appointment of a mutual former manager may see us reconciled in our opinions even more fervently on that note!

Who is Sherlock Holmes without Professor Moriarty? Be careful what you wish for.