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Review:

CambAngst says:Taaahhhnnn---yyyaaa! I heard you were close to 200 reviews on this story AND I'm makig my way through GryCReMo. Such fortuitous timing! Please allow me to take a moment for my own scorekeeping:

GryCReMo (Review #18)

Fred is a special kind of annoying. And Josephine is a special kind of stubborn. I don't want either one of those statements to come off as cheap and flip. Fred is literally impossible to ignore if he's decided that he wants your attention. And Josephine has that special type of stubbornness born out of a paralyzing fear of doing or saying something if it might be the wrong thing. We're in "irresistible force vs. immovable object" territory here. It's nice to see that irresistible force won.

The snow globe was such a cool idea! Honestly, it was cool enough for me before it started talking. That was like extra decoration on a cake that was already iced.

Utter, utter git. -- But it works, because the git gets the girl. Ha! I slay me.

And then we move on to the sad half of the chapter. :-|

You did a really great job of writing it with an awkward, claustrophobic feel, like the world was collapsing around Josephine and George and -- at least from her point of view -- everyone else in the shop. It seemed painful for both of them. When George throws in the towel at closing time, it's pretty obvious that he's done enough "recovering" for one day.

Fred's voice in her mind, urging her on to try to help George recover, was a good plot device. It really doesn't matter whether it's real or just in her head. (Obligatory: why should that make it any less real?) The imperative is there to try to ease George's pain.

I really love the way you paced the scene in the back room of the store. I have to imagine that you're always tempted to have Josephine move a little faster, to have her step a bit out of character and rush to George's side. But you resist the urge and keep her true to form and I really appreciate that.

Your writing was beautiful in this. I couldn't see a thing wrong with it. In fact, from now on, if I don't say otherwise, just assume your writing was brilliant. ;)

Great job! I shall return soon, but probably not soon enough to keep someone else from scooping review #200. :-/