To Washington and Its NationalsFirst in war and first in peace, it’s said — Worst in baseball? That trope now is dead.

A couple of weeks ago when I was judging the close to 1,000 limericks submitted for Week 974 (some featured on this page, more online), I found myself talking all the time in the Hickory-Dickory-Dock rhythm that forms the bulk of a limerick — “I’d LIKE a McCHICKen with FRIES;/ See, I’m LOOKing to FATten my THIGHS . . .” (This is why the Empress tends to dine alone.) Anyway, I need to get a different rhythmic earworm, so we’re switching to duple meter this month. Here’s a form called “framed couplets,” introduced to me by light-verse writer Madeleine Begun Kane and coined by poet Hector Gutierrez: Write a short verse about something that’s been in the news recently, as in the example above by Versifier-on-Retainer Gene Weingarten. You may add a title.

1. The poem must be either a couplet (two rhyming lines, “AA”) or two couplets (“AA/BB”).

2. Each line starts with an accented syllable and runs for nine syllables in an iambic meter: BA-da-BA-da-BA-da-BA-da-BA.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt, a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (Fir Stink for their first ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, July 9; results published July 29 (online July 207. No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 978” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/StyleInv. The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Kevin Dopart; the alternative headline in the “Next Week” line is by Tom Witte. Join the Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.

Report from Week 974

in which we asked for limericks about a play, book, movie or TV show: We had so many fine entries that we might also run more of them later this summer.

The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial

Why does Greece’s Odysseus roamFor so long while Penelope’s home?It could be he won’t askFor directions — a taskThat’s too tough for his Y-chromosome. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

2.Winner of the kangaroo-scrotum coin purse:“Forrest Gump”When viewed with objective lucidity,This film is of doubtful validityBecause it’s notoriousFor saying it’s gloriousTo live a life based on stupidity. (Dixon Wragg, Santa Rosa, Calif.)

4. “Psycho”At the end, when the cops finally come,All the murder and gore leaves them numb.From the way Norman’s dressed,They can tell that he’s stressed;Does he talk? No, he’s just keeping mum. (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

Po’witry: Honorable mentions

“Survivor”Contestants from Nome to Hoboken Will vie for a totem or token.It may defy reason — Its 20th season!The upshot: The tripe has now spoken. (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)

“Showgirls”Though it won neither plaudits nor gongs,And for critics’ acclaim it still longs, Let those killjoys cry, “Boo!” I’m applauding the viewOf a few of my favorite thongs. (Stephen Gold, Glasgow, Scotland)

“The Crying Game”A terrorist who fled the scene isQuite drawn to a bar-singing Venus.But the guy is dismayedWhen he tries to get laidAnd discovers the girl has a [DELETED BECAUSE OF SPOILER]. (Marion Shore, Belmont, Mass., a First Offender)

“Moby-Dick”There once was a man from NantucketWhose whaling ship ran out of luck; itTook on the white whale And in one epic fail, Every sailor but one kicked the bucket. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Caltech’s a big deal on TV,And its physicist-nerds are the key.“The Big Bang Theory” speaksIn the language of geeks:PhD = BMOC. (Chris Doyle)

“I Dream of Jeannie”The love life of a brave astronaut’llBe something a blond babe who’s hot’llEnhance. She’ll entranceIf she wears harem pants,Calls him “Master” and lives in a bottle. (Chris O’Carroll, Pelham, Mass.)

“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”Do you know why the sisters KardashianHave a show that they’re paid to look trashy in?The answer is sad:The world has gone mad,And talent has grown out of fashi-on. (Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)

“Gone With the Wind”Well, the film goes its windy old way, And it ends with a lousy cliche:Should we laugh or feel sorrowTo learn that “tomorrowIs a-” (would you believe?) “-nother day”? (Brian Allgar, Paris)

“Titanic” (II)The Titanic, they said, was unsinkable. But there weren’t enough lifeboats—unthinkable! From that wreck came a flickIn the genre of “chick”. . .It’s too bad that it wasn’t unstinkable. (Paul VerNooy, Hockessin, Del.)

“Two and a Half Men”Charlie Sheen plays a drunk who is past His best years, and his star’s fading fast. As a middle-aged boozer And skirt-chasing loser, This actor was perfectly cast. (Robert Schechter)

“Jersey Shore”There once was a starlet named SnookiWho loved to play loose with her nooki.But what was she thinkingWhen bingeing on drinkingWhile baking her own little cookie? (Colleen Murphy, Kensington, Conn., a First Offender)

“The Godfather”It’s Mario Puzo you’ll chooseFor a novel that won’t make you snooze.His writing’s unique — Or in godfather-speak,He’s an author you just can’t refuse. (Chris Doyle)

Now in hindsight it’s clear that they reallyCould have made a superior “Gigli”By replacing its actorsWith aardvarks or tractorsWhile they did the whole thing in Swahili. (Ken Kaufman, Derwood, Md.)

In “J. Edgar,” the story line saidThat the ruthlessly bare-knuckled Fed Looked for clues from both G-menAnd afternoon-tea-men, Then pursued them wherever they led. (Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)

A knock-off of “Lassie” is hellWhen it’s under the water you dwell. Getting help is a bustWhen you find that you mustStay with Timmy inside of the well. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

I picked up an old Gray’s Anatomy,So valued within the academy. And there I discovered, On each page, there hovered A picture of each this-and-that o’ me! (Mae Scanlan, Washington)

“The Great Gatsby”: My students have barreledThrough the text. Though I frequently heraldThe writing and plot,To each student, it’s naughtBut the wreck of the F. Scott Fitzgerald. (Matt Monitto, Bristol, Conn.)

“The Princess Bride”Buttercup, Humperdinck’s prize,Thought Wesley had met his demise.He fought for her tressesWith R.O.U.S.es — She never saw through his disguise?!? (Amanda Yanovitch, Midlothian, Va.)

“Groundhog Day”A man in an unredeemed state Whose clock never changes its date Lays on charm with a trowel And wins Andie MacDowell,Which suggests that it’s never too late. (Jerome Betts, Torquay, England, a First Offender)

“In the Line of Fire”With a nut out there trying to shoot aSitting president, none would dispute aSecret Service man’s taskIs protection; don’t askIf he nailed some Colombian puta. (Brendan Beary)

“Waiting for Godot”I’m so bored I could slash both my wrists,Yet this infinite waiting persists.At the second act’s curtainWe’re still far from certainThis Godot dude even exists. (Andrew Burnet, Edinburgh, Scotland)

And Last:Compilations of New York Magazine Competition entriesNew York Mag has its “Giant Sea Tortoise”; Why don’t we have a book to record us? We’ll just print what’s refined, Cut the scat--. . . Never mind.Nothing left. Best the public ignored us. (Nan Reiner)

Visit the online discussion group The Style Conversational (new columns posted Fridays), where the Empress discusses today’s new contest and results along with news about the Loser Community — and you can vote for your favorite among the inking entries, since you no doubt figured the Empress chose the wrong winner. If you’d like an e-mail notification each week when the Invitational and Conversational are posted online, write to the Empress at losers@washpost.com (note that in the subject line) and she’ll add you to the mailing list. And on Facebook, join the far more lively group Style Invitational Devotees and chime in.

Next week’s results: Going Mything, or Crocktales, a contest to add a “sixth myth” to any in a list of topics that served as recent “5 Myths” essays in The Post’s Sunday opinion section, Outlook.

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Comments our editors find particularly useful or relevant are displayed in Top Comments, as are comments by users with these badges: . Replies to those posts appear here, as well as posts by staff writers.