It suddenly makes sense. *backs away slowly from “Pepe Silvia” board in awe* “Foot in your ass.” That ’70s Show. 1970s. RED Forman. KURT WOODSMITH IS A COMMUNIST. ASHTON KUTCHER IS A SOVIET SPY WHO SELLS SH*TTY T-SHIRTS TO GET US TO NOT SPEND MONEY ON GUNS. Also, this.

According to local reports, Vladimir Krasnov, 28, of Nizhny Novgorod had decided to make good on the oft-heard threat following a drunken fight with his 48-year-old friend Sergei over Krasnov’s girlfriend Yelena.

Police say Krasnov waited until his friend passed out, and then proceeded to insert his right foot “into the victim’s anus and rectum.”

Sergei suffered severe internal bleeding as a result, and eventually died at the scene. “All I can say [is] I really regret [it],” Krasnov told officials. “Nothing like this would happen if I were sober.”

His girlfriend Yelena concurred. “It’s just alcohol,” she told a reporter (Via)