Our new book hits the shelves on TUESDAY. For the love of modern worship ballads and megachurch cafés, you need to preorder this thing right now.

How to Be a Perfect Christian: Your Comprehensive Guide to Flawless Spiritual Living is 200 pages of brand-new material which spells out exactly how YOU can go from the terrible excuse for a believer that you are right now to a Perfect Christian through rigid, unquestioning obedience to every little quirk of modern Christian culture.

By the time you finish the book, you will be talking the Christian talk, which is even better than walking the Christian walk.