Fly on the Wall 1341

Tools

It's been a long time since country music fans have been treated to music news that includes the line, "Cash will be released when sober." But they say history repeats. They also say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Johnny Cash's son, John Carter Cash, was arrested in Deer Lake, Newfoundland last week for stripping down to his underwear in the airport. Thankfully nobody was struck blind and security successfully convinced the pasty, 44-year-old country singer to put his clothes back on. Nobody pressed charges, and so far, there's still no word as to whether or not this life-altering event will result in a song called "Monday Pants Coming Down," "The Man in White (Cotton Briefs)," or "Newfoundland Drunk Tank Blues."

He Got Game

Justin Lee Seay, 21, of Memphis executed a strange plan to avoid being taken into custody by Murfreesboro police for felony marijuana possession. Last week, he told officers that he wasn't just any old pothead but none other than 59-year-old Academy Award-winning actor Denzel Washington. Unfortunately, being Denzel Washington doesn't provide any kind of diplomatic immunity, and even if it did, nobody was buying the story.

Broke Dancer

Ed Smith, a 54-year-old former Memphian, became a viral video star last week when he visited a Bank of America branch to make his final $10,000 alimony payment. Smith said he was so happy he was going to breakdance. It looked more like a terrible seizure, but no ambulance was called.

BullS#!t

Al Green's got cattle issues. One of the singer's bulls is tired of being alone. It doesn't want to stay together and has once again jumped the fence to go wandering in Shelby Forest, just as several of Green's bulls did in the fall of 2011. According to WMC-TV's report, a "bucket of greens" had been set out in hopes that it might tempt the animal to come back home.