The reason we do this really is that, once again, our ‘I-like-to-be-right’ mind is taking over.

Why does it do that?

It does that because sometimes we just don’t want to face stuff.

Because it’s hard.

It’s not easy to deal with troublesome clients that trigger negative emotions.

But the thing is… you need to be the bigger person here.

Your clients are going to have struggles of their own.

Even your ideal clients are going to have wobbles.

And so your not-so-perfect clients are also going to have wobbles.

If you really want to learn, if you really want to keep striving to learn a little more, to be a little bolder, to grow in to a better version of yourself, you are going to have to get used to feeling uncomfortable.

You are going to have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Yes, of course you can go through this life plodding along and ignoring the people who annoy you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

But if you are reading this, it’s probably because you aren’t a ‘plod-through-life’ kind of person.

If you choose to just fill your business with ideal clients, your ‘easy’ clients, you will probably end up feeling bored with your business.

Because you won’t be growing as a person, therefore your business can’t grow.

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression that we only grow when we stretch ourselves out of our comfort zone – and this is exactly it.

When you are in your comfort zone, you are going to get bored.

It might be fine for a while, but at one point, you are going to lose your fizz.

And when you lose your fizz, things are going to start to go wrong in your business.

Because you are your business.

So if you don’t have fizz, your business won’t have fizz.

What I am trying to say here is that yes, that troublesome client might not be your ideal client, but if you want to really go through this life making progress, becoming a better person, becoming the best version of yourself that you can be, then you are going to have to face these things, you are going to have to be the bigger person, step up and face this shadow energy which is going to creep up every once and again.

Because just because you don’t face it this time, does not mean it won’t come back another time.

It will. Life will keep on throwing us the same thing in different ways until we learn what we need to learn from it, because it is in our best interest to do so.

You know that person that annoys you?

Hmmm – they annoy you for a reason.

It’s to teach you something.

It really is.

And it’s not always pleasant, it is very difficult to admit that they are holding up a mirror to us and showing a part of us we don’t really want to see.

It’s very difficult to admit that maybe it’s our stuff.

Yes it is their stuff, but maybe it is also triggering our stuff.

So… what I would really challenge you to do is to embrace these really not-so-ideal clients, those clients who aren’t really a good fit with us, because they are going to teach you so much, and you will grow because of it.

Take a step back, detach from the chaos that you are feeling, remove yourself from the emotions it arises, and tap in to your inner true self, your higher self, the self who really knows what is best for you, and ask yourself in all honesty:

“Do I really / can I really help this person?’ and deep down, the bottom line “Would I like to help this person?”

And if the answer is yes, try and see it from their point of view: what are they communicating to you? What are they saying without saying? What can you read between the lines?

Maybe they need something that you are not giving them, but that they could really benefit from, and maybe there are a whole lot of people out there that you could help and that would really benefit from something that you are not giving them because it’s a blind spot for you?

Take a look in to all that and see what it brings up for you.

Talk it over with someone you really trust but one who can be objective and ask yourself: “can I serve this person? What does this person need? Do I want to help them?”

And then go and serve the pants off them.

Go there, be uncomfortable, do it, because that is how you are ultimately going to grow as a person.

So that’s my advice for today.

And my challenge for you is: think of the last person who really pushed your buttons, think of them, go over the situation again. How did you handle it? What could you have done differently? What could you have learnt from them and from the situation?

Because yes, it’s their stuff, but actually it’s yours as well!

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Comments

This is a wonderful post Catarina, raising our awareness and giving us courage.

Sometimes it’s particularly difficult dealing with clients who have challenging perspectives as a result of their culture, which is different from your own: I’ll remember your encouragement when next facing that one.

Great blog, Catarina. Frequently the thing we find difficult about other people, including clients, is the thing we don’t like within ourselves.
Below is an excerpt from The Dark Side of Light Chasers by Debbie Ford that makes it very clear.

“Projection is a fascinating phenomenon they failed to teach most of us about in school. It is an involuntary transfer of our own unconscious behavior onto others, so it appears to us that these qualities actually exist in the other people. When we have anxiety about our emotions or unacceptable parts of our personalities, we attribute these qualities -as a defense mechanism- to external objects and other people. When we have little tolerance for others, for example, we are likely to attribute the sense of our own inferiority to them. Of course, there’s always a “hook” that invites our projection. Some imperfect quality in other people activates some aspect of ourselves that wants our attention. So whatever we don’t own about ourselves we project onto other people.”

The old saying ‘it takes one to know one’ is very true here. Maybe as well as the excellent questions you raise we should also ask ‘How can I help myself here?’
Work for us to do indeed!
Suzanne

Thank you Suzanne and yes that is a fab question.
Debbie Ford’s book was my introduction to shadow energy a few years ago. It is a fascinating topic with so many layers to it. It’s intense but such an eye-opener for deepening our understanding of ourselves.

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