Are We Filling Our Time Rather Than Our Hearts?

We gathered at my friend Fred’s renovated living room. It had a vibrant and exotic ambiance, created with the colorful paintings and Indian decor of ceramic elephants and weaved white pearl mats matched the coasters. Multi-hued lamps hung from the ceiling and books were stacked neatly in a bookshelf which extended to cover an entire sidewall, with sliding glass doors.

I was taken in by surprise as mostly his house is a mess, books are sprawled across the living area, remote controls are misplaced, opened and forgotten food packs lie in a corner, Xbox controllers lie behind the cushions on the couch, dishes brimming to the top in the sink unattended, all lamenting the absence of a female companion.

Something had changed and all of us waited for him to say something, the Vietnam War era veteran couldn’t stop looking at the door and seemed exceptionally young and buoyant.

His boys were out for a school camp and we could make out that he wasn’t living alone. I couldn’t contain myself and asked him, “Who is she?” He looked surprised and smiled sheepishly. We continued sipping the beer but the curiosity was getting the best of us.

She entered with daisies and lilies in her hand, a whiff of lavender scent filled the air. I knew in my heart she was good news. My friend Fred has found the love of his life and I was glad for him.

He was alone and busy till last year and never had the time to build a family. What made this change happen, I was curious.

My friend said, “love found me when I created space for it. When I adopted my sons, something changed in me. Suddenly I was needed back at home. It was overwhelming but gratifying. Humans have an innate need to nurture and I was unaware of this side completely. I realized that the need to give love is more than to receive it. I was filling in my life with chores in order to find joy until I realized that I need to be available for joy to find me and it did.”

I went back home and took stock of what I was filling my time with, I jotted down everything on my stamp-size orange post-it notes and stuck it on my desk, soon my entire desk was stuffed. I then evaluated which task is adding value and meaning to my life and eliminated those which were meaningless, soon I was left with only a couple of post-its which were filled with kinds of stuff that brought real joy in my life. It was simple and yet powerful to get rid of the unnecessary clutter. I then stuck blank post-it notes as a reminder to be open and present to the moments of joy, creating a mental space and an open heart for them to find me.

It was a beautiful realization and I suddenly found time to clean my desk and paint my study with bright hues.

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I’m the editor of the free weekly 123Greetings newsletter. I write about my misadventures with friends and colleagues, focusing on human relationships and emotions. You’ll be getting a little slice of life from New York City. I share my life, loves, wax philosophically, and I hope to inspire you to view your life in a more positive light. Read more...