Forum rules
We once roamed the vast forums of Corona Coming Attractions. Some of us had been around from The Before Times, in the Days of Excelsior, while others of us had only recently begun our trek. When our home became filled with much evil, including the villainous Cannot-Post-in-This-Browser and the dreaded Cannot-Log-In, we flounced away most huffily to this new home away from home. We follow the flag of Jubboiter and talk about movies, life, the universe, and everything, often in a most vulgar fashion. All are welcome here, so long as they do not take offense to our particular idiom.

Since the topic comes up sporadically in the most random of places, I figured it might not be a bad idea (or at very least, it's the polite thing to do) to consolidate it all in one clearly labelled thread so that people like Dalty and the other women with no interest in the subject can just stay away without accidentally being subjected to it.

I suspect this'll largely wind up being me talking to myself, but that's a typical day anyway so it works.

Anyway, yesterday was "Black Thursday" in the WWE as 11 people got fired, presumably because of the beating the stock has taken lately. A couple were surprises, but the majority made me go "He was still employed? Huh." Two members of the Three Man Band were let go, which were most surprising as they were on a sort of mini push lately.

Ted DiBiase is the closest thing to a Goiter twin the sports entertainment world has ever seen. Well, that's what I feel like on days when I feel handsome and refined. On days when I feel less handsome and refined, Earthquake seems like a better candidate.

I only know him in his prime. Is he still around? I know he has a son wrestling. His son is 6'3" and 225 pounds. Those are more like my stats when I'm in *my* prime. I haven't been anywhere near that prime since 2004, but maybe I can get back there some day.

We should talk about how utterly stupid some of professional wrestling's catchphrases are.

I'll start with the Rock's "It doesn't matter!"

This is a catchphrase? I mean, I guess I see some of the charm in the catchphrase concerned with what he was cooking and whether or not you could smell it.

It's just that "It doesn't matter" is such a commonplace thing to say. Sure, I guess he inflected it in his own special way, but c'mon. And I guess it's kinda cute in a YTMND Interruption Fad sort of way, but it's still just a guy saying "It doesn't matter!"

I remember someone asking me a question during the height of the phrase's popularity and then interrupting my answer with "It doesn't matter!" Someone else then high-fived him, and yet another person said something like "Booooom! He got you good, Goiter!"

Really? Because he fucking responded with "It doesn't matter?" Of course, then I had to have it explained to me that this was the Rock's catchphrase, since I didn't already know. Then I was mocked for not knowing that it was his catchphrase. Then I was mocked for not watching wrestling.

Mind you, this wasn't when I was a kid. The catchphrase caught on in 2000 or so. I was in my early twenties. The people making fun of me were in their early twenties.

The catchphrase was popular enough to be turned into a pretty shitty Wyclef Jean song. What the hell, wrestling fans?

The commonplaceness of the line reminds me of this one time a guy tried something else on me that totally flew over my head. I can't remember what it was I did to provoke this response from him, but I did something, and when I did, he squinted his eyes, gritted his teeth, pointed his index finger at me, and then sort of shook his arm. He then looked at me expectantly.

"What's that supposed to be?" I asked. "Don't you know the Evil Monkey from Family Guy?" he asked. In this case, I was actually familiar with the thing he was referencing, but how the fuck am I supposed to be expected to connect this pretty unremarkable action he's doing to Family Guy? You point your finger at me, and I'm supposed to go "Ah! Family Guy! Very clever!"? And then I'm expected to find it funny for some reason?