An exploration of spirituality, self help, the paranormal, love, happiness, positive thinking, life coaching, mediumship, psychic, from angels to zen.

Tag Archives: happiness

Hello! My apologies that this post is arriving with you later than planned. Creating this podcast has been a learning experience for me as I had to do everything from scratch and it took me a while to get the hang of it! Before this, I had never worked with recording equipment or editing software. I had never done readings where people have written to me to ask for information, and I had never done readings where I couldn’t interact with the person I was reading for…so I have learned a lot from creating this recording! To those of you who wrote to me to ask for a reading or advice: thank you for your trust. I hope the information in the recording is helpful to you.

At the beginning of the podcast, I say that I’m going to speak about my most frequently asked questions. So many people wrote to me for advice that I didn’t get around to the FAQs within the hour, but they will be the subject of a future post so stay tuned!

Click ‘play’ to listen to the podcast in which I answer your questions (which were consistently about work and employment this time!)

Do you have a question or comment? Would you like a reading or some coaching advice in a future podcast?

‘I need to get rid of my ego’, ‘I need to become vegan’, ‘I must always think positively’. Spiritual explorers should stop being so hard on themselves. I see them grinding away at themselves as if, if they grind away hard enough, they might grind themselves into a more spiritual being. Many people who are interested in spirituality seem to reject and dislike the sense of separation that comes from inhabiting an individual human body, and leading an individual human life. Anyone who has done even the lightest of reading into spirituality knows that the take-home message from most branches of spiritual wisdom is ‘we are one’. We are One with each other. One with God. One with the Universe. This is true, but many seem to interpret this information as if we were one, now we’re not because we’re bad and naughty humans, and we have to find some sort of difficult and punishing way to reunite ourselves with source. And this is simply not true.

You are always one with God. You are always connected to source, and you are exactly as you should be. There is no need to punish yourself, battle with your ego, or deprive yourself of human experiences, because to do so is to reject your humanity with fear, which only serves to make you forget that you are always one with love. Your human life is a unique and individual feather on the wing of Spirit, and Spirit cannot fly without you. Nothing can separate you from source. Nothing. Experience your human life as fully as you can. Make mistakes, cry, doubt, make silly decisions, take risks and go your own way, because when you do, the Universe experiences those feelings, learns with you and grows with you through love. You are not bad because you are human. You are not ‘cut off’ because you recognise yourself in the mirror. You are simply a unique expression of oneness, just like everyone else. Embrace it. Do what feels right to your human self as well as your spiritual self, for they are also one. You need not struggle to make your way back to oneness, you are already one with love. Although we may wander through the forest of life, sometimes feeling lost, often feeling alone and afraid, there is nowhere in that forest that the voice of loving oneness cannot reach you. For it is always in your heart.

Next Time: O is for ‘Organic’: 5 Unusual Ways to Live a More Organic Life.

Man, the news is so depressing. Sure, it’s important to keep up with the goings-on of the world, but if you believed the news to be a true respresentation of the world, you’d be forgiven for thinking we live in hell.

But we don’t live in hell. There are good, great, and just plain awesome things going on out there everyday. Good news has the potential to spread quickly, with the help of our friend The Internet. Do your bit to be the harbinger of happiness and pass a good news story around today. I’m sure you know a few people who could benefit from a bit of good news, right?

Want to do more to spread happy tidings? Link or write good news stories from around the web in the comments section of this post so that others may be inspired and uplifted by them.

I hope you enjoy ‘7 feel-good current affairs you won’t see on prime time news’. Share your thoughts in a comment!

The North American Government may have bickered amongst itself to the extent that it forgot about its people: but the people have certainly not forgotten about each other. The USA’s govermental shut-down (due to a disagreement over spending and budgets) has resulted in newly-unemployed people rallying round to help each other in an attempt to sustain some of the country’s most important services, and maintain its proudest landmarks. Out-of-work individuals have been volunteering in all manner of ways: from mowing the lawn at the Lincoln Memorial, to working at educational facilites, allowing them to remain open for the benefit of the children.

Right, just get this finished, then it’s on to painting the fence!

Even some big name companies have been mucking in, offering free food and drink to those who have been sent home from work. This sense of community is wonderful to see, especially because it shows that the seed has been planted in the minds and hearts of the American people that they can survive without their government. Perhaps this will allow the American people to reach the realization that they are more powerful and resilient than their Overlords would have them believe.

Two million of Peru’s poorest people will be provided with electricity for the first time, thanks to a $200 million initiative by the Peru’s Government. The electricity will be generated by solar panels atop residences. The equipment and power will be provided free of charge.

These lovely sun slabs will change lives.

The initiative is expected to be complete in 2016, and the project’s target is to have 95% of households in Peru using electricity, compared to 66% at present. The solar panels will free up cash for poor families who are still using expensive oil-based fuel products that are harmful to health when burned.

‘The Point of No Return’ is the name given to the time at which the HIV virus inserts itself into the human genome by its evil enzyme called HIV integrase. Researchers at University of Georgia have created a medication which dropkicks the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, pummels it, then puts it in a chokehold, preventing it from integrating into the host’s DNA. This is the crucial point when, if the disturbing critter successfully sets up camp, it cannot be reversed.

You shall not pass!!!

The medication is now in its pre-clinical test phase and is expected to work to alleviate and prevent HIV both as a single illness, and where the HIV virus is compounded with others such as tuberculosis. Humans 1 – Viruses Nil.

With funding from Japan, UNESCO and Radar Technologies discovered five huge underground aquefiers in Turkana County, Kenya. The discovery of the abundant water supply has potential life-changing ramifications for the area’s residents. The water supply may help to alleviate problems such as crop failure and malnutrition and may be suitable to use as fresh, clean drinking water.

Everyone deserves clean water to drink.

Out of a population of roughly 41 million people, 17 million Kenyans lack access to safe drinking water and 28 million are without adequate sanitation. It is hoped that good old H2O will be the driving force towards a richer and more prosperous future for Turkana County and North Kenya as a whole.

In 1942, Mr Eric Lomax was up to his eyeballs in war. Working as Signals Officer in Singapore, he was arrested and transported to Kanchanaburi prison in Thailand for the grand crime of cobbling together an old busted radio and drawing a picture of some trees. The Japanese suspected that he was a spy and selected ‘horrific torture’ as the most suitable means to get a confession. He had his arms and ribs broken and suffered water-boarding – amongst other things that would make most of us just cry and die. His torture was carried out by several Japanese soldiers, but the hateful mug he saw consistently was that of Takashi Nagase, the translator who witnessed it all, passing on taunts, threats and promises that Eric would be killed. But Eric endured, basically telling the Japanese soldiers to shove a false confession where the dun don’t shine…which was the only thing that saved his life. Eric returned home suffering from PTSD and thought of nothing but revenge for many years. He sweated and stewed about it, fantasizing about wringing his torturer’s neck like a turkey the day before thanksgiving. The desire to know what happened whilst he was being hideously tormented led Eric on a gargantuan research mission, and through it, he found out that Nagase was still alive. Eric hunted down his torturer, hungry for sweet vengeance. When Nagase’s location was discovered, Eric’s wife wrote to him, and by the use of some intense magic, managed to convince Nagase to meet her husband, so that he could finally move on from his horrendous ordeal. Takashi Nagase agreed.

It had been 50 years since Eric was released from torment, when he came face-to-face with the man who had watched and participated in his near-demise. This was Eric’s chance to at least punch Nagase in the kidney for what he’d done…

But when he finally came face to face with Takashi Nagase, he saw a man who was as fragile and devastated by war as Eric himself. Nagase broke down into a sobbing mess when he saw Eric, bowing deeply, uttering the words, ‘I am so very, very sorry’. Suddenly, Eric felt pretty bad for the guy, and decided that instead of whooping some Japanese Pensioner Ass, he would just open the fattest jar of forgiveness you’ve ever seen in your life.

If there’s one man who has the right to say, ‘At some time, the hating has to stop,’ it’s Eric Lomax, who managed to forgive his torturer, hug him and hold his hand whilst he cried like a baby. Through forgiveness, the two men went on to become good pals for several years. Eric wrote an award winning book about his ordeal entitled The Railway Man, and filming begins in 2013 for the film of the same name, with Colin Firth to play Eric Lomax. Eric Lomax, the absolute legend, passed away in 2012 with a heart full of forgiveness, at the age of 93.

A Kenyan orphanage was attacked by a gang of thugs. The kids inside had nothing to protect them except a rickety old fence…and one badass warden. The posse of unsavoury characters had previously attempted to rob the orphanage of its stuff and its kids, but 24 year old Anthony Omari channelled his inner Thor and fended off the gang with the help of an airborne hammer. When the gang returned for vengeance, the children of the orphanage woke up and began to come outside to see what the infernal racket was all about. Omari herded them back into the room and barricaded them in. He was so hell-bent on protecting the children that he did not flinch even when one of the vengeful plebs came at him with a machete. Such was his desire to protect the kids that he literally took a machete blow to the face and still would not let the swarm in. So they left, presumably because they thought Omari must be some sort of wizard to take a facial cleaving and still be standing. Days later, Penn State student Ben Harwick, who was on placement in Kenya, heard about Omari’s bravery and wanted to meet him. Ben took a photo of Omari…

The bravery of one man inspired the generosity of thousands.

…and posted it, along with the story on reddit. Little did they know that Omari’s Thor-like wizardry would inspire so many. Donations poured in from all over the world, raising upwards of $80,000 to beef up the security of the orphanage. The money was spent on building an 8 foot steel fence, hiring guards, and making improvements to the orphanage’s thug deterrents. The act of vengeance by armed robbers resulted in the orphanage being turned into an impenetrable fortress. And all it took was a machete to the face: easy money.

If you are a young person who is struggling to get on the property ladder, you’re not alone. The lending drought has been pushing people towards ever more inventive ways of housing themselves that don’t involve the backing of satan’s minions…ahem…I mean banks, or thieves…ahem…sorry, power companies. At The Hollies Centre for Practical Sustainability in Ireland, you can build and kit-out a home for under £1000. As a student, you live in Ulrike and Thomas Riedmuller’s ‘cob’ home whilst you learn to build your own. You are taught how to make bricks from hay and clay, and how to power your hand-built home economically and with the environment in mind. Your new house will have a composting toilet, a super energy-efficient wood burning stove, and a refrigeration room provided by the outdoor climes. Learn to build your own house here:

I have been losing sleep over the answer to this question because I feel so utterly lost and conflicted as to how to respond. On one hand, I am happy to see democracy at work – this decision should be made by the people of Scotland – on the other hand, I don’t have a clue what the right decision is, or what the implications of my vote are going to be. I feel like someone has handed me a complicated piece of machinery with no instruction manual and asked me to operate it without making a mistake: too much responsibility with not enough information.

Campaigns have already begun to try to win my vote with a variety of groups attempting to convince me to vote ‘yes’ or ‘no’. And after much thought, deliberation, straining and researching, I have reached the profound and certain conclusion that my answer is: I don’t know.

‘I don’t know’ because neither side of the argument have yet been forthcoming with the instruction manual for their machine. The policies and objectives put forward to me, and my Scotland-residing brothers and sisters, have been thoroughly vague and smacking of rhetoric. I have had to do so much digging, research and interpreting in order to compile even the most basic list of ‘pros and cons’ surrounding Scotland’s independence and I’m still not even sure that it’s complete and correct. It concerns me that information about the actual factual ramifications of my vote are proving so difficult to come by, because it suggests that each side is depending on my not-knowing the truth to win my vote. I get the very distinct impression that I am expected to vote with my emotions, rather than with the facts, and I don’t like it. This is worrying: Scotland has a long (sometimes glorious, sometimes shameful) tradition of pride and sentimentalism, either for our place in the United Kingdom or for Scotland in opposition to England, and some people are very passionate and patriotic about which camp they reside in. It seems evident to me that I am being asked to ‘pick a side’ based on the feelings I have about Scotland’s history, roused up by the sugar-coated carrots of vague and hyperbolic policies – which at this point, seem like nothing more than emotional manipulations. I have no strong ‘feelings’ about an independent Scotland, but many of my brothers and sisters in Scotland do. I believe this to be a problem. It is wrong for my fellow Scots to be coerced, perhaps unknowingly or subconsciously, to make this decision based on loyalty to the British Crown or Scottish Land, under the guise of taking part in a rational choice. Surely a body of people cannot make a rational and educated decision when being encouraged to puff up with emotion, and at the same time, being furnished with so little factual evidence? We, the people of Scotland, are due to receive a White Paper sometime in November, which will detail the ‘facts’ about becoming independent from the UK, but you and I both know that ‘facts’ are malleable and can be framed to say whatever suits the agenda of their utterer. My distrust is founded on, and compounded by, the reality that the race to win my vote has already begun based on speculation, emotion, and ‘ifs ands buts and maybes’: if there are yet no facts then which of my decision-making faculties are being appealed to? The answer, I fear, is my emotions. Until the facts are made available, it seems that we are being asked to gamble; making our choice via the extent to which we love Scotland and dislike England. This gamble is going to be responsible for the fate of future generations in Scotland and beyond. They will be the ones who have to deal with the repercussions of our sentiments when we are all dead and gone. The more I think about it, the more our sentiments are a hinderance rather than a help: they seem a wildly inappropriate catalyst by which to make this decision. And to be asked to do so makes me very uncomfortable.

I have done my best to compile a list of the dreams and ambitions offered to us by the main proponents of ‘yes’ and ‘no’. What follows are the basic pros and cons- the scaffolding that’s holding the referendum up – but please, bear in mind as you read them, you are reading a wish list, not a list of facts or certainties.

Benefits from Scotland becoming independent from the UK: the ‘Yes’ Vote.

We could make decisions from a parliament that is more relevant to, and invested in, the people it represents.

This is a super idea and I can totally see the merit in governmental decision-making power that is based closer to home, but we are not voting for the idea alone, we will also have to vote for the people who will promise to put the idea into action on behalf of the people. What concerns me about this point is that it may turn out that Westminster understands Scotland just fine…and that it is the indivuals we elect – rather than specifically the English parliament – who make a mess of cranking the machine and signing the dotted lines. In which case, aren’t we just as likely to have idiotic or misguided decisions make by elected individuals in a Scottish parliament?

We would have control of our oil and gas resources.

*Sigh* Unless some unbiased and independent person in-the-know is going to publish well-researched statistical findings about this matter, we the public are in the dark and can only trust what we are told. And what we have been told by the media so far is exactly this:

He said, she said, he’s lying, they are lying, you can’t do this, we can do this, they are spending all your money on lawyers, they are destroying data, your country is in debt, we are richer than you. Blah blah blah. It really is just noise. What is the truth? Will we benefit from keeping our oil to ourselves or not? Show me the research that says so. Unless we are furnished with a report, signed, sealed and delivered by an independent body, perhaps comprised of economists, scientists, ecologists and engineers et. al., we are in no position to make a judgement and should not be voting with this in mind at all.

We would ban nuclear weapons from Scotland.

This is the one policy that would swing my vote for independence if it were true. I really hope it is true. We simply don’t know right now. I want to see a piece of paper signed by all parties concerned, detailing that nuclear weapons will be removed from Scotland on such-and-such a (soon) date. After the fact, I do not want to come to learn of any non-public small print that says, “Due to the complexities of ‘legal separation’ of military resources, it’s going to take 20 years to get the nukes gone.”

There are no available statistics to guarantee if the £GBP or some new Scottish currency would be weaker or stronger. So we’re back to gambling again.

We would remain more powerful as part of the UK’s Armed Forces.

This may be intuitively true since Scotland is smaller when separate from the UK, but again, there could be other benefits to leaving the UK’s Armed Forces, like not getting dragged into wars we don’t agree with. It could also be the case that more military jobs would be created if all the necessary departments for a Scottish Armed Force were located in Scotland, again, without the facts, there could be convincing rhetorical suggestions either way.

Mortgage interest rates would be decided by the UK.

So?…’Being decided by the UK’ does not automatically mean cheaper or better. For this to be convincing, Westminster needs to make a pledge or an offer, they need to propose some actual and realistic competitive rates and post them online so that we, the public, can make an informed decision.

It would be ‘bad for jobs’ if Scotland left the UK.

‘Bad for jobs’ is a direct quote which seems to be anchored in no facts whatsoever. How do we know it would be bad for jobs? Where is the research that says so?

Scotland has full powers when it comes to health and education and spends £1200 per head more than the rest of the UK.

What? Surely this is an argument in favour of Scotland having more of its own power?

We get ‘the best of both worlds’.

I can see, intuitively, that this could be the case. My stepdad is English, as are many of my friends, and I also have Scottish friends who reside in England. To make ourselves a foreign country to England at this point seems like a tangled and complicated web that may not lead to us being better off, but again, we’re talking feelings here, not facts.

Scotland sells more to the rest of the UK than it sells to the rest of the world combined.

What is this statement? Is it a threat? Is it supposed to incite a sense of togetherness? We cannot deduce from it how Scotland’s trade with England would be affected by independence. The laws and regulations concerning trade should be clearly set out before we vote, not guessed-at until after, or else…what are we voting for?

You can read the lealet for yourself, I pulled this information straight from the Better Together Campaign (the ‘no’ campaign).

Besides the distinct lack of facts from both sides of the argument, I have other questions and meta-concerns not addressed by either side. The first of which is this: Since Scotland is so multi-cultural and diverse, does the emotional attachment to an ‘independent Scotland’ really have meaning that the ‘yes’ proponents would have us believe it does?

My next concern is that our world is becoming a global community; doesn’t it seem counter-intuitive to move in the opposite direction, becoming more separate and isolated as a nation? Becoming independent not only separates us from the other residents of the island that we share, but it also tells the rest of the world, who will surely be watching, that we wish to be separate too.

My final concern is that the posing of the question: ‘Should Scotland be an independent country?’ will serve to reignite old rivalries, a ‘them or us’ mentality, amongst some people. This is exactly the opposite of what Scotland needs right now, since we all must live side-by-side with people from a variety of backgrounds and walks of life. From religion, to sport, to east vs. west, there are elements of our nation that are unhealthily divided. Regardless of their intentions, I find it very difficult to support a group of people who nurture and foster our nation’s frequent – and often damaging – inclination towards creating opposition, who have little more than fantasy and rhetoric as the backbone of their argument.

In my ideal world, I would vote for greater devolution of power to Scottish government, and I would support the First Minister’s use of Scottish voters’ clout to request more power and independence in areas that are specific to Scotland’s social & cultural standing; and ecology and resource profile. But of course, this option is not on the table because the leaders of our nation have shown themselves to be stuck in the hyperbole of ‘them or us’, ‘yes or no’, ‘Scottish or British’. And this could not be father away from what being Scottish and British means to me.

I would vote for transparency. If the ‘yes’ campaign came out with an utterly transparent fact sheet, stating what an independent Scotland could and could not do, with facts and figures and sans rhetoric, I would vote for them.

I would vote for respect and understanding. If Westminster were to propose a fair and open negotiation of our autonomy as a Scottish nation, I would vote for them, simply because to me, getting rid of the illusion of opposition would be the healthiest thing that we could do as both a Scottish and British nation, moving forward.

I dislike wearing my cynical hat, I don’t think it suits me, but for now, I must. I really think that if ‘yes’ or ‘no’ are put forward as our only options, and we believe that ‘yes’ or ‘no’ are our only options, then that in itself serves to show that we are not ready to effect such drastic change.

I’d like you to weigh in on this. Are you a Scottish person willing to share which way you’re going to vote and why? Are you a non-Scottish person whose nation has failed/succeeded at becoming independent? Do you think my point of view is mistaken?

Still, I am in the mindset that I do not know which way to vote. Should I choose not to vote? Those who do are labelled ‘apathetic’ and are often blamed when the outcome of a vote is unwanted. Should I vote by destroying my ballot paper? This is the official way to refuse to decide, but what happens to the destroyed ballot papers? Nothing…they just get discounted, the act is not strong enough to indicate a protestation.

If, like me, you believe we have been thrust into a false dichotomy, and that neither ‘yes’ nor ‘no’ is the way forward, then write to your MP. To vote for a false dilemma gives it validation. To write to your MP stating that you are unhappy with being presented with so hyperbolic a choice is a vote in itself. England is not the enemy, and whether Scotland will or will not be better off outside of the UK is a mystery, but the cogs that turn to move both Scotland and England forward, I believe, are more intricately wrought than a heavy-handed and ill-informed ‘yes’ or ‘no’ can break or repair.

Stanley Odd Frontman Solareye/Dave Hook has done the conundrum justice through the medium of rap.

Next Time… N is for ‘News’ : Good news from around the world, not being reported in the mainstream media.

Watching spiritually themed films can help you to feel inspired, uplifted and moved. This makes a nice change from watching movies with ridiculously unrealistic ‘romantic’ sex scenes that make you and your wobbly bits feel inferior; or scenes of violence that glamourize guns and portray punching someone in the face as a viable problem-solving strategy. So for you Sensitives who prefer to fill your brains with more philosophical fayre, here are my top 11 movies and documentaries about spirituality, in no particular order. Click on the movie poster to watch the trailer. Is your favourite missing from the list? Click ‘leave a reply’ at the top left of this page to add your recommendations!

Pay it Forward

Haley Joel Osment stars as a little boy with a big idea. His teacher sets him the challenge to change the world for the better and the kid takes it literally, doing kind and good deeds in return for a promise that the recipient will go on to do a good deed for someone else. Get the tissues at the ready for several lip quivering and tear stinging moments.

Sirius

Released this year, Sirius follows Dr. Steven Greer as he walks the audience through the reasons, motivations and evidence for a UFO governmental cover-up. Prepare to be shocked, confused and amazed. Don’t believe there’s life ‘out there’? This well-made documentary may just make you think again,

What Dreams May Come

Robin Williams stars as a physician with the worst luck in the world. I won’t spoil it for you, suffice to say that a trip to hell and back is on the cards. This movie will remind you to appreciate everyone you’ve ever loved.

DMT: The Spirit Molecule

This honest and bizarre documentary follows a team of scientists as they attempt to locate and replicate a divine experience using the naturally-occuring chemical DMT. A really interesting watch with a strong basis in science. And yes, all the scientists admit to getting wild on DMT, all in the name of research!

Jeff, Who Lives at Home

Jason Segel and Susan Sarandon are great as mother and son. This movie tackles the theme of fate, and whether our existence matters, with hilarious consequences. This movie tackles spirituality in a way that I’ve never seen before. I cried at the end.

Wake Up

A challenging documentary about a young man who wakes up one day with the ability to see the dead, angels and aliens. Watch as he goes through psychiatric and medical evaluation finding no explanation for his new and strange view of reality. A great documentary that raises many questions about the nature of death and reality.

HappyThankYouMorePlease

This is a hilarious and heartwarming movie about love and kindness- loosely featuring the Law of Attraction and ‘feelgood’ all the way through.

You Can Heal Your Life

I must have watched this movie 50 times, pretty much whenever I need an emotional boost! Louise L. Hay plus other Hay House authors guide you through their stories about how they changed their lives, and give advice about how you can too.

Cloud Atlas

This gorgeous film, starring Halle Berry and Tom Hanks deals with matters of reincarnation and the one-ness of our consciousnesses and our actions. This is a long, long film…one to be watched when you have a few hours to devote to it.

Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead

What could be more spiritual than looking after your health? This acclaimed documentary follows a very likeable Joe through his 60 day juice fast to come back from the brink of being fat, sick, and nearly dead. Very inspiring stuff.

Signs

M. Night Shyamalan’s Signs, starring Mel Gibson, deals with themes of faith, belief and fate in the most bizarre and dire of circumstances. This movie offers a few frights, enhanced beautifully by the emotive soundtrack.

Remember to leave your favourite spiritual movie suggestions in the comments box. Have you seen my recommendations? What did you think?

When you experience love, it is like taking medicine for the first time. As you adjust to the changing presence of love in your heart, you may experience some ‘side effects’- just as you feel the effects when you introduce a new substance to your body. The effects of love are manifold, and some of love’s ‘side effects’ are unexpected and may be a big change from your usual feelings. If love could be bottled – like medicine – and consumed to be experienced, then the bottle should come with these ‘warning labels’ of love’s unexpected side effects:

!WARNING!:When you truly experience love, you may feel like being alone.

When you think of love, you think of sharing love with your partner, family and friends, right? But experiencing love may have the opposite effect on you. Love might cause you to lock your door, unplug your phone, switch off the internet and be non-contactable, even by smoke-signal, if you are adjusting to loving yourself. It is hard to love yourself if you feel that you must constantly be giving yourself to others. To be alone is to look within, to be at peace, and to promote self-knowledge. To be alone is to accept your own company as good company: there is love in that acceptance.

!WARNING!Living with love may make you more aggressive.

Do you think of love as something floaty and passive and saintly? What if I told you that when you choose to experience love, you may start to give a shit about things you’ve never cared about before? When you experience love, the first thing to be cured is apathy. The second thing, is the sense that we are all separate from each other. Don’t be surprised when you welcome love into your heart, you begin to think ‘what can I do to help?’, ‘how can I change this?’, ‘how can I make a difference?’- love feeds your inner eco-warrior, your inner samaritan and your inner Robin Hood.

!WARNING!When you experience love, you may notice spontaneous physical changes in your body.

Do you love doughnuts? Do you love booze? Do you love junk food? When you ramp up the dosage of love in your life, you may not love those things so much. A weird side effect of love is that you may start loving life, your health and yourself too much to still love eating that crap. When you take a new dose of love into your heart, ‘I feel like eating a salad’ may spontaneously run through your mind…just sayin’…

!WARNING!Choosing love may cause you to quit your job.

Love, if you let it, will eventually course through every vein of your life. If you start out doing a job that is on a non-loving vibration, and you subsequently introduce a higher dose of love into your life, you may see, quite frankly, that you job is a waste of what you have to give. You may come to realize that your job does not support your wellness; you may see clearly that it doesn’t support the planet’s wellness. It may dawn on you that your work has fallen out of sync with your soul’s needs. If so, use love’s inspiration to guide you towards what to do to put it right. (This happened to me, I used to work for a credit card company).

!WARNING!Living a life of love may make you re-think your entire life.

Woah! This can be scary…when you begin to live with regular supplements of love, it may cause you to take stock of your whole life. Your life is not compartmentalized, everything has a knock-on-effect on everything else. Love causes you to treat people differently- that in itself can have a massive effect on the quality of experiences in your life. Love wants you to do things that support your wellbeing. Love encourages you towards happiness and peace. Love shoves you in the direction of joy….and the dominos continue to tumble.

!WARNING!Love will make you more self-interested.

To many, love means being selfless, but when you have love in your life, how can you be selfless? You are the facilitator of love by your thoughts, intentions, words and actions. In order to facilitate love, you need to have an understanding of love and to understand love, you need to feel loved…how can you possibly offer something that you have never felt? Not only is it perfectly acceptable for you to receive love, but it is absolutely necessary. Love has the weird side-effect of causing you to cultivate an understanding of love for others by loving yourself.

!WARNING!Love has been known to make people say sorry for their mistakes.

When you love, you don’t need to be right. When you love, you realize that there may be no such thing as ‘right’ because you become more compassionate and understanding of the coherent buoyancy of differing points of view. This may compel you to offer an apology – verbally or mentally but always sincerely – to someone, because through love, you see that contrast, contradiction and variety is fundemental to the overall progress of love. It is not about switching to another side- it is simply that there are no sides, just different expressions and various catalysts for love. Even the ‘bad’ stuff can be a catalyst for love. If you can accept that, then you’ve got the dosage just right.

These have been the seven effects of love that ought to come with a warning label. Can you think of any more?

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Did you know that I have another blog about my adventures in California? If you like sun, surf and spirituality (and food!) come and check it out over at Sun, Spirit and San Diego.

Until Next Time: Give a dose of love to the world twice a day for a week and keep me posted on how you’re doing.

I didn’t think that I had an abnormal relationship with alcohol until I realized that I’ve been trying to stop drinking since January. Six months of broken promises to myself have not been good for my self esteem, nor has it been good for my waistline which will be gracing the beaches of San Diego in 3 weeks time. I swore to myself that if I touched another drop before my trip, that I would write this post and out myself. So here I am; I need your advice.

I’m not an alcoholic…at least, I don’t think I am (way to be in denial!) but I am definitely teetering on the precipice of some sheer rock face of addiction that I want to take a step back from…so what’s stopping me?

I don’t know exactly what is stopping me, but I have found it very difficult to stop drinking alcohol. I don’t drink every day, I don’t think about alcohol when I’m at work or studying. I don’t drink every weekend, I don’t drink to get wasted, nor do I drink because I feel depressed. I do, however, drink a bottle of wine per week…sometimes a bit more, which I know is too much. I drink alone at home because my boyfriend doesn’t drink (why do I need to do this?), and the thing that concerns me most of all is that I’m having difficulty stopping drinking even though I want to. I don’t feel in control of my compulsion to drink and I find it irresistible on some occassions. I’m at a very weird place right now because I genuinely don’t know if I need help to stop drinking, or if I need help to stop being so hard on myself and just let myself enjoy wine! This is why I need your help. Have you ever experienced the feeling that you are on the edge of an addiction? Have you had the voice at the back of your mind say ‘this is getting out of control?’ Have you ever felt trapped into a cycle of wanting to stop something but struggling and feeling guilty? If so, what did you do about it?

I think I may be addicted to addiction. In my young adult life, I hopped from addiction to addiction, managing to defeat each one as I went. Yet shortly after said defeat, I would unconsciously find something else to bestow my compulsive, cyclical and patterned behaviour upon (why is it never the gym or knitting?!). I am now pretty tired of beating bad habits and I want the pattern beneath them to stop. I stopped my compulsive behaviour with men (we won’t go into that…my mum might be reading this!), I stopped smoking two years ago and haven’t touched cigarettes or thought about them ever again, and I stopped partying with no cravings whatsoever to take it up again, but I know that the underlying pattern of behaviour that caused me to choose these things for myself in the first place is still there. And at the moment, it hides in bottles of merlot and beckons me over as I walk past. Can anyone else relate to this addiction-hopping behaviour?

I also think that I’ve had difficulty stopping drinking because my good old pal alcohol and I have had some really great times together. I definitely associate drinking with happiness. I drink when I see my family, I drink when I see my friends, I drink to be relaxed after a challenging day, and I drink to reward myself. I can see that I associate drinking with feeling good, and by the magic of neural-plasticity, my mind now instructs me to drink as a fast way to bring about good feelings. But having knowledge of this devious mental trickery doesn’t seem to be helping: why can’t I stop? I know that the ‘good connections’ between drink and happiness are illusions for two reasons: First, because I also feel great when I’m not drinking so drink is not the only cause of my good feelings. And second, because on more than one occassion, drink has definitely NOT made me feel good. (Admittedly, I am still in the process of forgiving some of my alcohol-related shame.) Intuitively, I know that I need to replace alcohol with something else that’s going to have positive associations, and I feel silly writing this, but I don’t yet know what that thing might be.

Get away you fiendish temptress!

This might sound weird, but I feel that my experiences with Spirit have allowed me to feel such heights of love, peace, forgiveness and security- such an intense and natural ‘high’- that when I don’t have those feelings (like when I’m a bit stressed about University or dealing with other earthly issues) I compulsively try to replicate the spiritually authentic ‘high’ feelings of peace, comfort and connectedness with whatever mind-altering substance or behaviour I am focused on at that time. It is as if I seek a fast-track back to secure spiritual feelings when I feel at my most insecure. I wonder if I am alone in this, or if any of you spiritual people out there have also found yourselves trying to replicate the high that you feel when you remember your divinity?

I must carry a subconscious thought that I am receiving some great benefit from drinking alcohol. Why would I continue to do it otherwise? My mind is still convinced that whatever good feelings/benefits I’m receiving from alcohol are more valuable than the benefits of stopping- even though I know in my heart-of-hearts that it’s not true.

Maybe I need therapy.

Maybe I need therapy to figure out why I am so independent in some ways, and yet I seem to fall into such deep patterns of dependency. Perhaps I need some help to understand why, when I go to buy a bottle of wine, my mind is thinking ‘woohoo!’ and choosing to focus on the good times, and not the the feelings of remorse and guilt, or the times I’ve been horrid to one of my loved ones, or said something embarrassing under the influence. I just want to understand why the big part of me that wants to stop is completely drowned out when I have the choice to drink wine…

I appreciate that this post has deviated from the blog’s usual content. I hope you don’t mind. A lot of personal stuff has been coming to the surface from within me lately, because I have been writing about my past for a book that I have coming out in January. I think it’s ‘meant to be’ that I’m digging and crying and re-visiting and writing at the moment. I think that Spirit is helping me to work through some stuff that needs worked through, and that I’m going to come out the other end somewhat unburdened and relieved. I really hope so- the habitual behaviour stuff is definitely a heavy issue that I’d like to let go of. So thank you for reading and in doing so, helping me to work through my issues. (We all have ’em, right?)

So what do you think about my drinking dilemma? Your thoughts are most gratefully received.

Next Week: L is for Love. (One of my favourite things to write about!)

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Having a job that makes you happy is one of the most important aspects of leading a balanced life. I often say to my clients, ‘Do what you love or at least, love what you do,’ and that is going to be the topic of this post.

Every day of my life, I give thanks that I am able to work for myself in a career that supports my soul’s development, and that also allows me to assist other people with theirs. My journey towards self-employment as a spiritual advisor was a long but joyous one, and along the way, I worked at a variety of day-jobs to keep the bills paid and to fund my dream of working for myself. During that time, I worked as a financial advisor, customer service consultant, make-up artist and waitress, and each of these jobs taught me that my happiness at work was completely within my control, and wasn’t dependent on the job I was doing, as such. I also came to realize that, of course, it is important that there are ‘normal’ people out there who are doing spiritual work. But it may be more important that there are spiritual, positive and happy people out there doing ‘normal’ work; bringing their love, light and integrity to a variety of different jobs. It is those people, I believe, who incite positive social change and who are the spiritual foundations of our societies.

So to all of you who are teachers, carers, nurses, social workers, waiters, bar staff, customer service advisors, civil servants, chefs, cleaners, lorry drivers, politicians, soldiers, emergency service officers, security workers, taxi drivers and in any other profession that keeps our world ticking over, please know that your happiness at work is important – that you take your spirituality with you into work every day makes a significant difference to all of us. Thank you for doing what you do, and doing it with a smile on your face!

Do you have a top tip for being happy and fulfilled at work? Did you ever start a job and were pleasantly surprised by how happy it made you? Comment below and tell us how you stay happy in the workplace. Here are my top 5 tips on how to be happy at work, that I hope all of you will benefit from, whether you serve our food, patrol our streets, or operate on our brains!

Tip No. 1: If you can’t do what you love, at least love what you do.

Ok, so you didn’t manage to achieve your childhood dream of being the first astronaut to visit the Andromeda galaxy, but does that mean that you will never be happy in another career? What if I told you that your happiness at work is not to do with what job you do, but is determined by your decision, every day, to be positive and to give each task your best shot. If you make the decision to think of your job in a loving and appreciative way, your good feelings will rub off on your colleagues, making your place of work a happier place to be for everyone. You will enjoy your job more, simply when you choose to enjoy your job. Try this experiment:

Tomorrow, choose to go into work and do your absolute best, with the greatest care and effort that you can. Let me know in a comment how your day went, when you made the deliberate decision that your workplace is a happy place.

Did you notice a difference? So until NASA call to invite you to begin training for Andromeda, choose to make the best of what you have! And if something at work is really so bad that you really, really can’t be positive about it…then you need to give yourself permission to leave. Seriously, why would you choose that level of unhappiness for yourself?

Tip No. 2: Practice clear and open communication.

If you have something to say to your boss or a colleague, take the time to think it through and then just say it! Swallowing down your worries, concerns and criticisms is not healthy for you, nor is a lack of communication healthy for your workplace. Being unable or unwilling to express yourself can lead to feelings of resentment and isolation at work and that is definitely not conducive to your happiness! The fear of speaking up is often worse than the experience itself, and if you can be tactful about your communications then you will find that most bosses and colleagues are just people too and not the judgmental, angry monsters that our non-confrontational minds make them out to be. When you are afraid to communicate at work, it is really your thought about the outcome that you are afraid of. To work through this, deliberately visualize your boss or colleague responding in a loving and receptive way before you begin a communication with them- this positive expectation will open up the channels of communication between you both.

Tip No. 3: Do one thing every day that is beyond the call of duty.

It feels good to be deliberately helpful at work. If you show up to work willing to do a little extra, whether it’s helping a new-start, being flexible with shifts or meeting a tough deadline, you will give off a vibration that you are approachable, helpful and kind…those are good qualities to have. And when pay-rise or promotion time comes around, your record of work will be glowing. When you are helpful, you inspire your colleagues to follow suit. Kindness and generosity are contagious – try it and see!

Tip No. 4: Set realistic boundaries.

You may think that in order to be respected by your boss and others, you need to take on every bit of extra work that’s going. But this is not so. It is better to do 2 tasks excellently well than 5 tasks poorly. Be honest about what you can manage well and don’t be afraid to say no to extra work if it is too much: your boss and colleagues will respect your honesty and you won’t feeling like crying because of stress and pressure. This is very important in sustaining a healthy work/life balance.

Tip No. 5: Work with integrity.

Always work with integrity. If your workplace doesn’t treat you right, despite attempts to resolve issues, you should think about whether that really is the right place for you to work. Your health and happiness are more important than your job and you shouldn’t have to work someplace that doesn’t support your wellbeing. Try to avoid gossip, negativity, bullying and bitching – these also do not support your wellness at work. If your colleagues really don’t respect the workplace or each other and it’s really bringing you down, you may want to consider if that place of work is really what’s best for you. No job is worth the integrity of your soul. You may think, ‘I’d love to leave but there are no other jobs.’ And my only reply to that is ‘what you believe is what you receive’. If you affirm that there are no jobs then you make it much for difficult for the Universe to bring you meaningful work. Try, instead, to affirm what you do want:

I have a wonderful job that I am happy to get up for every day. My work pays well and supports my wellbeing.

Why shouldn’t you have this? A happy and healthy workplace is totally achievable for you, if you believe it is.

What do you do for a living? Do you think that it’s important to practice positivity and spirituality at work? Please leave me a comment- I’d love to hear all about how you make the most of your working day.

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Thank you to all of you who shared your joy with me in last week’s post – J is for ‘Joy’. I really enjoyed reading about the things that make you joyful. I am delighted to announce that the winner of a free reading with me is: Mia (Lights of Clarity)

I look forward to connecting with you Mia, and sharing the guidance of Spirit with you.

Until Next Time: Practice deliberate happiness at work and record any changes in how you feel about your job, and how your workmates treat you.

Next Time: K is for ‘Kindness’: (The power of deliberate acts of kindness.)

The irony about finding joy is that you will often find it when you stop searching for it. We often (mistakenly) search for joy in activities such as earning more and more money for no reason, or stressing about planning our future happiness. Although it seems a good idea to try to make sure that our future is joyful, do not underestimate the power of just kicking back and allowing a moment of joy right here, right now.

In celebration of the joy of giving, I am giving away a full psychic reading, free! To win, all you have to do is reply to this post with a comment about what makes your heart filled with joy. I’ll announce the winner on next week’s post.

So anyway, back to joy. Joy is a necessity and here’s why:

1. Joy is good for your health!

A little burst of joy on a regular basis supports your long-term health. Happy hormones that are released when you experience joy do wonders for your immune system, stress levels, the rate at which you age, your cardio-respiratory health and your mental and emotional health. Make time, every day, to do something that makes you joyful. Savour the feeling and allow yourself the experience without guilt. In my opinion, doctors the world over should be prescribing bouts of joy for a long and healthy life.

2. When you allow yourself to experience joy, it is an act of appreciation for your life.

Sometimes we forget to appreciate our lives. My boyfriend will tell you that I love a good moan about stuff. It’s true…I catch myself doing it…but then I stop and remember how fortunate I am to be alive and to have so many wonderful people in my life, and so many fantastic opportunities, and I go about my day with renewed joy. You may sometimes feel that you don’t deserve joy. You may have feelings of regret, guilt or shame which have caused you to forget that there is any such thing as joy. If this sounds like you, then you may have to force yourself to make a conscious effort to re-connect with joy, and that effort, may involve a lot of changes. You ARE worth the effort. To be happy and content is your natural state, and is the state in which you will thrive – it’s worth putting the effort in to get there. You have overcome unbelievable odds to be sitting where you are, reading this blog, having food in your tummy and air in your lungs. Can you set off on your ‘joy journey’ by feeling a flicker of joy in simply being alive?

3. A joyful experience encourages more joy into your life.

Ah, the good old Law of Attraction. Like attracts like. The Universe responds to you by reflecting your reality based on who you are inside. If you are unhappy, the Universe can only reflect reasons for you to be unhappy. The good news is that the only thing that stands between you and joy are your thoughts. Think deliberately about joy, behave in a joyful way, treat others in a way that makes them joyful, and the Universe will reflect joy right back at you. It must.

4. Joy is contagious: Your joy encourages good feelings in others.

When you smile at someone, they compulsively smile back. It’s an inbuilt response. When we exchange smiles, we can identify allies, friends, and a potential mate. All you have to do is smile and you bring comfort, re-assurance, ease and joy to others. The feelings that we choose to experience are contagious. Those who are closest to us cannot help but be infected by our moods. When you choose joy for yourself, you also bring joy to your loved ones. No true act of joy is ever a selfish act.

5. Joyfulness is the needle of your internal compass.

Imagine if life were as simple as this:

If it brings you joy, do it. If it doesn’t bring you joy, don’t do it.

Well guess what? Life can be as simple as this. In fact, you may already be using joy as your internal compass without realizing it! The joy of some things are hidden so think carefully:

Is there something in your life that’s difficult, stressful or challenging, but you keep doing it anyway? Can you find joy somewhere in the process?

If the answer is yes, then great! You’re following your joy. If the answer is no, then do you think you would be more joyful if you stopped doing that thing? If the answer is yes, then give yourself permission to stop doing it.

Let the compass of joy guide you always down a road of happiness, and let the compass of fear be trampled under-foot…because it dropped out of your pocket…and you didn’t notice…because you were too busy looking at your compass of joy!

6. When you allow yourself to be joyful, you are teaching your children to be joyful too.

Do you have young people in your life? When you express joy, you teach them to live a joyful life. If you live without joy, then you teach them that it’s ok to live a joyless life – and I know you don’t want them taking that message into adulthood. ‘Do as I say and not as I do’ doesn’t fly anymore I’m afraid, so if you want the kids to know joy, you have to show them how it’s done.

This post is dedicated to my friend Joy Fraser, who truly is Joy by name, Joy by nature. Please visit her website Peace, Harmony and Joy where she also writes a wonderful blog.

Until Next Time: Do I really need to say it? Get out there and be joyful!

Next Week: J is for ‘Jobs’: (How to work in spirituality, or, bring spirituality into work.)