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Wednesday, April 27, 2016

the important things

Apparently cancer has been cured, world peace has been established and
poverty has been eradicated.

That's gotta be the case, because all anybody but anybody's been talking about this week is Prince and the damn bathrooms at Target.

So here's my take on Prince: Around the World In a Day = most underrated album ever.

Now about the bathrooms.

To the people who support Target's decision - I hear you.
To the people who don't - I hear you too.
Too bad you can't hear each other over all of your Twitter rants and name calling.

Consider this: When my five year old is hysterical over a bad dream, or crying because she is scared to put her head under water, do I solve that problem by calling her an uneducated tool?
No.
Does she solve her problem by continually screaming in my face that I don't care about her childhood innocence?
Ummmm, that would also be no.

We talk.

I ask her what she's afraid of. She tells me - her fear is real, even when the monsters aren't. We talk about plausible fears, unlikely fears and irrational fears. She doesn't blame me, I don't belittle her. We find solutions for her concerns and together we look for information to quell the lingering worries she has.
Oh - and we love each other.
Ridiculously simple I know, yet incredibly effective.

As for me?
I could not possibly care less who uses which bathroom.
I'm a urinary prude. Nobody is going to see (or God forbid hear) me peeing anyhow. Male, female, hell, a stray cat could wander into the stall and I'll stop midstream. Frankly, the whole family goes before we leave the house, because I don't even want anybody I know to see me walking into a public restroom in the first place. Besides, if my bladder can't handle a 30 minute Target run, I've got no business at that Starbucks counter anyhow.

Currently, most people have choices about where they use the toilet. If left to my own devices, it will never be:
1) At an outhouse on a haunted hayride.
2) On that minuscule toddler potty at the kid's old preschool.
3) On one of those weird-@$$, backwards-facing, Japanese contraptions that shoots water up your butt faster than the Panic Plunge water slide at Valley Fair. Because let's be real, I don't care how much it saves on toilet paper, if Target installs those things, we're all leaving for WalMart.