Yes, beat it out

I want to express my 110 per cent support for the mother who beat her child, literally for the world to see. I mean, how many of us got “dread” licks as children and turned out quite well? If you look around you can see the world of good that beatings have done us. We have turned out to be a non-violent society. All those reports of murder, rape, shootings, wounding and road rage are figments of some vile person’s imagination.

We don’t steal. It has been beaten out of us properly. You can leave your door unlocked, your car open, your purse sitting around and no one will interfere. On a larger scale no one misappropriates public money; we never had racing complex and gas station rackets, no airport fiascos, and no questions around wastewater plants, oh no, not here!

The licks we have received have turned us into a compassionate people. We are forever willing to help all and sundry, the absence of poverty and homeless people speaks to our altruistic nature. Even our animals are treated with respect and love. I have never even seen someone kick a dog in this land. Licks has turned us into a law-abiding society. We are model drivers on the nation’s roads; we don’t give or accept bribes; we never would even think about breaking a line.

The world should strive to be like us. Licks is such a part of us that we use the term “beat out” to describe the highest form of love.

The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that what we need is more beatings; we should start the day by beating each other. If we did that, we would all be straight as pins. There may not even be need for police, neither the real type, nor the new “Flying Squad” type. Someone bring me a guava whip please.