‘You Kinda Had to Be There on Five Tabs of Acid,’ Area Man Explains

Conceding that his anecdote had failed to elicit the response he’d hoped for, area man Sean Frohlich explained Thursday that it was probably “the kind of thing where you just had to be there” on a quintuple dose of acid to understand.

“I’ll admit it,” Frohlich said. “I guess you really can’t get the whole picture unless you were there tripping balls on some top-shelf shit with us.”

Frohlich, who acknowledged having ingested upwards of 500 micrograms of LSD before the event in question, confesses that his story might not make “total sense” to a person who was not both physically present and “zonked out of [his] fucking gourd” on five tabs of the powerful psychedelic for the incident in question.

According to Frohlich, there was a certain “vibe” going on there that one had to witness in person, as the boundaries between self, other, space and time “disintegrate before your very eyes,” in order to comprehend fully.

“I guess it’s just not the kind of thing you can get across to someone who wasn’t, like, there in the room” undergoing a radical drug-induced transformation of the way they relate to their own thoughts, senses and anticipation of death itself.”

At press time, Frohlich had launched into a more accessible anecdote about the time he got “really fucking drunk” and wretched all over his girlfriend’s new carpet.