"One of the challenges a fiction writer faces, especially when prolific, is coming up with fresh ways to describe emotions. This handy compendium fills that need. It is both a reference and a brainstorming tool, and one of the resources I'll be turning to most often as I write my own books."

"In these brilliantly conceived, superbly organized and astonishingly thorough volumes, Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi have created an invaluable resource for writers and storytellers. Whether you are searching for new and unique ways to add and define characters, or brainstorming methods for revealing those characters without resorting to clichés, it is hard to imagine two more powerful tools for adding depth and dimension to your screenplays, novels or plays."

Writing Extreme Emotion Without The Melodrama

(I’m reposting from L.A. Freeman’s blog today as I catch up from a few days of entertaining inlaws. Also, many people struggle with emotional melodrama, so I wanted to give this post another chance at the spotlight!)

Writing Extreme Emotion Without The Melodrama

One of the most difficult parts of writing emotion is finding a comfortable ‘range of showing.’ Finding the right balance of emotion can be difficult; too little and the reader will feel no empathy for characters, but too much, and the scene becomes melodramatic. Melodrama will pull readers right out of the story, because the character’s reactions seem too ‘over the top’.

If all emotions were of average intensity, they’d be easier to describe. But emotions vary in strength. Take fear, for instance. Depending upon the severity of the situation, a person might feel anything from unease to anxiety to paranoia or terror. Extreme emotions will require extreme descriptors, while others are relatively subtle and must be described as such.

Unfortunately, many writers make the mistake of assuming that to be gripping, emotion must be dramatic. Sad people should burst into tears. Joyful characters must express their glee by jumping up and down. This kind of writing results in melodrama, which leads to a sense of disbelief in the reader because, in real life, emotion isn’t always so demonstrative.

To avoid melodrama, recognize that emotions run along a continuum, from mild to extreme. For each situation, know where your character is along that continuum and choose appropriate descriptors. Just as extreme emotions call for extreme indicators, temperate emotions should be expressed subtly. The indicators for intermediate emotions will lie somewhere in the middle.

It’s also very important that your character follows a smooth emotional arc. Consider the following example:

Mack tapped his thumb against the steering wheel, one arm dangling out the window. He smiled at Dana but she just sat there, twisting that one loop of hair around her finger.

“Worried about your interview tomorrow?” he asked.

“A little. It’s a great opportunity but the timing’s awful. There’s too much going on.” She sighed. “I’ve been thinking about cutting back. Simplifying.”

“Good idea.” He nodded along with the radio and waved at the biker who thundered past on his Harley.

“I’m glad you agree.” She faced him. “I think we should break up.”

His foot slipped off the gas pedal. The air grew heavy, making it hard to breathe. The car veered toward the middle line and he let it drift, not caring whether he lived or died.

Unless Mack has a psychological reason for doing so, he shouldn’t jump from placidity to depression in a matter of seconds. A realistic progression would be to move from contentment to shock, then disbelief, and finally to grief. Done thoughtfully, this emotional arc can be shown with relatively few words:

“I’m glad you agree.” She faced him. “I think we should break up.”

His foot slipped off the gas pedal. “Break up? What are you talking about?”

“Mack. We’ve been headed this way for awhile, you know that.”

He gripped the steering wheel and took deep breaths. Sure, things had been rough lately, and she kept talking about taking some time, but she always came around. And she’d definitely never uttered the words “break up.”

“Look, Dana—”

“Please, don’t. You can’t talk me out of it this time.” She stared at the dashboard. “I’m sorry.”

His insides twisted. He darted a look at Dana, but she was curled against the window now, both hands resting easy in her lap.

He gaped at her. They were totally breaking up.

Make sure that your character’s feelings progress realistically. Map out the emotional journey within the scene to avoid unintended melodrama.

All of this is not to say that real life doesn’t produce extreme emotion. Birth, death, loss, change—some situations call for intense responses that may go on for awhile. Many writers, in an admirable attempt to maintain believability, try to recreate these events in real time. This results in long paragraphs or even pages of high emotion and, inevitably, melodrama. Though real life can sustain this kind of intensity for long periods of time, it’s nearly impossible for the written word to do so in a way that readers will accept.

In these situations, avoid melodrama by abbreviating. This method is often used for other real-life scenarios—conversations, for instance. Small talk is left out to keep the pace moving forward. Mundane tasks are also cut short, because the reader doesn’t need (or want) to see the entire car washed, a piece at a time, while Bob ponders a problem at work. In the same way, extensive emotional scenes should be long enough to convey the appropriate information, but not so long that you lose the audience. Write the emotion well, develop empathy in your reader, maximize the words that you do use, but don’t overstay your welcome.

TIP: For more help on emotion, grab the free PDF, Emotion Amplifiers found on our Writing Tools page. A companion to The Emotion Thesaurus, this tool provides description ideas for showing conditions (Pain, Illness, Inebriation, Hunger, Stress, etc.) that make your character more reactive to emotion.

12 Responses to Writing Extreme Emotion Without The Melodrama

Wow that was odd. I just wrote an really long comment but
after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up.
Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Regardless,
just wanted to say fantastic blog!

Great stuff, Angela. I recently beta’d for a friend, and one of my biggest issues was a few places where the character went from 0 to 60 instantly–there really needed to be a bit more of a ramp-up, in my opinion.

THhs came at the perfect time. I was struggling with my first chapter (again) and couldnt quite place what was missing. There was a lot of dialogue but why should any one care for these characters. I knew i needed to add some inner feelings and actions but wasnt sure how.
I love how you explained the progression of emotions. That will work perfectly!

This is so on point and the example was great. I went through this process with a character, a U.S. Marine, whose reactions are tethered to the psychological and physical damage of having served in the Middle East and losing his best friend. Talk about needing to know when to “amplify” and when not to “amplify” emotions! I guess will find out how well I did (or didn’t do)…the story is out to mags and contest. Thanks for all the resource you offer!

Great topic!! It made me wonder if I’d been melodramatic with one character whose lost his wife and now his daughter. I think I will tone down the sobbing and make him almost void of emotion as so much grief is thrust on his shoulders.