It's an honor that you've allowed us to try and help with
your family and life issues.
Thank you very much for visiting.
Please return soon.

Love & Hugs,
Glen

Help to become
truly helpful to those in need by making sure it's their need, not yours. Find out if you're becoming addicted to being needed, and
what to do about it.

Definition Of Codependency:
Codependency is a condition that results in a
dysfunctional relationship between the codependent and other people. A
codependent is addicted to helping someone. They need to be needed.
This addiction is sometimes so strong, the codependent will cause the other
person to continue to be needy. This behavior is called enabling.
The enabler will purposefully overlook someone abusing a child, will call in
sick for someone suffering from addiction, will put roadblocks to prevent their
child from becoming independent, or even keep a sick family member from getting
the treatment that would make them well. These are behaviors common to
codependents.
A codependent often suffers from a 'Messiah Complex' where he sees problems with
everyone and sees himself as the only person who can help. Here is where I
need to work...trying to be 'Mr. Fixit' for everyone...even those who don't feel
they need anything fixed. A codependent counselor (common) will never
think your sessions are done. In fact, they often create issues that
weren't there just so they can continue to feel they're an important, no,
essential part of your life. This is one of the reasons I always spend the
first counseling session evaluating the problem and setting up a schedule of
sessions to complete the work. If we're not making progress, I don't want
to become the person you feel you have to take every problem to...it's too
addictive to me. That's what codependence is...an addiction to being
needed. To learn more, try one of
these recent top-selling
books on the definition and treatment of
codependency.

Codependency Test:
Take this test to find out if you're helping
people who need or needing people to help:
1. Do you feel demeaned, hurt or offended
when someone you love tells you they don't need your help?
2. In the last year, has anyone resorted to
arguing, begging or raising their voice to get you to stop trying to help them?
3. If you had plenty of money and your
child, sibling or parent had an addiction to drinking, spending, gambling or
drugs, and they asked you for money to help with their necessary expenses (food,
rent, clothes, bills), would you give them the money?
4. When someone shares a life or
relationship problem with you, but doesn't ask for help, do you offer help or
advice, anyway?
5. When you survey your relationships, do
you find yourself surrounded by mostly people who need you?
6. Do you ever find yourself making excuses
for the needy people in your life?
7. If someone you love has a substance
abuse, emotional, spending or gambling problem, do you avoid confronting them?
8. Do you measure your self-esteem by how
much someone depends on you?
9. Do you ever remind people where they
would be without you?

A. If you answered 'yes' to any
of the above, read the rest of this article and monitor yourself for the next 3
months to verify your answers.
B. If you answered 'yes' to
3 or more of the above, you may have a codependency problem. Read the rest
of this article, get a trusted friend who is independent of you to keep you
accountable, and read a couple books on the subject of codependence.
C. If you answered 'yes' to
5 or more of the above, do 'A' & 'B' above and ask your friend to attend an
alanon, narconon or codependents anonymous meeting with you.

Causes Of Codependency:
Many codependents, like other addicts, blame the
people around them for their problem, or, more accurately, use them to deny
their problem. 'I'm not codependent, I just love them so much.'
'It's just that they need so much help.' 'They couldn't get along without
me.' Let's face the facts...the needy people in your life need to learn to take care
of themselves, take responsibility for their own problems and begin to solve
them. If you'd stop bailing them out, they'd learn to handle life's
challenges, themselves. So, actually, you're hurting them! (we're not talking about a rare
emergancy situation...we're talking about a lifestyle of needyness.) I
remember how upset I was when, in my early 20's, my mother told me to get a job
and move out of her house. It was the best thing she could have done for
me. I resented her for at least 5 years. If you can be as strong as
my Mom with the habitually needy around you, you're not codepentent.
Codependency, like any other addiction, is caused by a feeling of emptiness...a
low self-esteem. Instead of a drug, a codependent uses the needs of others
to make themselves feel whole. That's why no one around them is allowed to
recover...the codependent wouldn't be needed.

Cure For Codependency:
The only cures for codependency require finding
the genuine, healthy sources for a positive self-esteem, to replace the negative
ones. is a codependency recovery workbook that can be very helpful in the recovery
process. You also have to learn how to 'ween' your needy people off of
your help. This is a dysfunctional relationship, and often results in the
'needy' person abandoning the codependent. Although very painful, this is
better for both people...forcing them to find better sources of
fulfillment. It's good for the codependent to find productive and
fulfilling activities that don't involve satisfying
needy people. This can
be done with sporting activities, art, school, etc. There are many ways to
be productive without attachment to a chronically needy person.
Ultimately, we codependents must face the fact that our self-worth comes from
the value placed on us by a loving God. By pursuing a healthy relationship
with the One who loves us unconditionally, we can be healed of our codependence
for good. If you want God's help with your codependency, just click on God
Help Me.

Way2Hope News!

Always see a licensed medical practitioner before making changes in your health an fitness practices. Advice given at this website, or in conjunction with www.way2hope.org or e-Home Fellowship activities is not to replace the advice given by a licensed professional nor be taken as a counseling or clinical relationship but only as suggestion. We're just sharing things we've discovered, as regular untrained people. As a user of this website you bear full responsibility for your decisions and actions. External websites linked from this site are for information, only. We do not endorse any product, service or treatment. As a user of this website you bear full responsibility for your decisions regarding these products, services and treatments.

Bio: Glen
Williams is Director of E-Home Fellowship, Co. and Webmaster for
http://www.way2hope.org. He founded
EHF in 2001, after more than ten years of full-time service helping people with
life problems. Now, every month, people in over 160 countries come to EHF
websites for help with their problems.