If April showers bring May flowers, then May campaign ads bring out a swath of good ol’ boys with a touch of crazy.

With primary elections just around the corner, inner-party campaigns are swinging for the fences. Candidates on the same sides of battle lines are laying into each other about who is more American, whose voting record is more attune to party issues, and who could more accurately represent the constituency. Or, if you’re Dale Peterson — Alabama Agriculture Commissioner GOP candidate — you’re just trying to make sure thugs and criminals aren’t keeping voters in the dark about just how much money an Ag Commish controls. How much money, you ask? Five billion dollars, that’s how much.

According to this amazing display of Americanism, Dale Peterson has been a farmer, a businessman, a cop, a Marine during Vietnam, and, as I imagine, a patient at St. Mary’s Hospital for the Clinically Intense.

Whew. Good luck, Alabama. Your agriculture is about to get super serious, and possibly ethnically insensitive.

he was killing it, but he kind of murked himself with that parting shot of his mommy-pants.

05.17.10 at 3:14 pm

500K Flea

He kept it gangsta like John Wayne with the whole cowboy theme! LOL

ps: LMFAO at “I’ll name names”!

05.17.10 at 3:21 pm

El Rosado

The music accompanying his monologue was epic.

05.17.10 at 3:27 pm

Moose

realize this is irrelevant but….does anybody know if theres any truth to the Delonte West & Lebron’s MOM fuckery thats going around the web? shiiiiiiit

05.17.10 at 3:33 pm

500K Flea

@ Moose: I’ve being hearing about that rumour all weekend!!! I’ve yet to come across any substantial evidence.

05.17.10 at 3:50 pm

Yup

Man, I don’t give a RIP!

05.17.10 at 3:57 pm

Creole_Corazon

*Fatality* This ad got bizarre sounding chuckles out of me that I had previously never heard. Though he packed alot in that 1:10, it was never explained exactly what he was looking to shoot on his otherwise leisurely-seeming stroll. Is a stove standard horse riding/walking equipment?

05.17.10 at 4:13 pm

Louis LaFlare

FIVE BIYYION DOLLARS!

“And what are my opponents doing? Stealing yard signs in the dark of night from my supporters!”

Keep this up and it’s Obama vs. Peterson 2012. This IS America.

05.17.10 at 4:56 pm

complexone

I dont give a RIP about Alabama

05.17.10 at 5:15 pm

veego

the rednecks are the reason i hate my local politicians.

05.17.10 at 6:24 pm

DC

The Constitution, a horse, AND a gun? all in the same commercial? SOLD!

05.17.10 at 7:23 pm

yah

“Braggin about recieving illegal money on facebook..Whhhooo on Earth would wanna vote for such a duhhhmmy??”…

facebook references in political ads,2012 looms…

05.17.10 at 7:24 pm

yah

receiving**

05.17.10 at 7:41 pm

Beware

“this aint a figment of my imagination, buddy, this is where i live…”

05.17.10 at 10:41 pm

Dakari

*anxiously awaits the day he moves out of his hell hole i mean sweat home alabama*

05.19.10 at 9:05 pm

Alabama farmer

I’m actually an Alabama farmer, and if this jackass gets elected I’m moving to another state.