Sunday, August 28, 2011

They're finally here!

Well.

Our boys are finally here. I feel like it really wasn't that long ago that I remember showing the + sign to Jeremy, and then having the ultrasound a few weeks later that revealed our TWO little surprises.

Our whole pregnancy we could not wait to meet them. It's still a little unbelievable that they are here. It kind of felt like we were just "playing house" when we were getting their nursery together, buying clothes and toys for them, and making things with their names on it. It's crazy to now see those names on social security cards and birth certificates. They're real. They're here. They're our sons. It's just a surreal feeling that can't be described.

People often ask..."are you scared about raising twins?" and "isn't your world just turned upside down?". I often struggle to answer these questions. I'm not scared about raising twins. Mostly because I don't know how to raise one baby, so I have no idea how much more difficult two at a time may be. I don't worry too much about doing things the "right" or the "wrong" way (except for when it comes to things of safety, of course). As far as my world being turned upside down? I don't know that it has been. It kind of just feels natural (although still crazy). I mean, sure it's a completely different life that we have now, and will forever be, but it kind of just feels like they were always suppose to be here with us and this is what we are suppose to do.

Yes it's hard. I hate when they cry and I don't know what to do to fix it. It's hard functioning on very little sleep. It's hard feeling no more productive than a milking cow on most days (I actually have a baby on each boob as I type this). But I think I was prepared for this. It's what I expected, so it's ok. That's not to say that I don't have days where I just feel awful and emotional, cause those days are there. But soon after, I look at my sons and realize how much I love them, and it's all ok again.

It's even more crazy that they are a month old. A month! The time has flown by, and I know that it will continue to do so, so I'm trying to enjoy every single minute.