Letters I'll Never Send

Main menu

Day in and day out, all I want is to shed a few pounds. Work out for hours, count calories, stare in the mirror. All daily tasks. I wish you could understand that I can’t control this. Sure, I could force myself to eat but how would I feel? I’ll tell you how: Disgusting, ugly, worthless, and like a failure. I know you love me, I see it in your eyes, but this is one habit I’ll never quite break. I know it’s stupid, because on some level, I’ll never be thin enough. I’ll always feel like I eat too much. I’ll never be satisfied. But I need to do this.

Truth is…. I’m scared. Scared of myself. I almost passed out today, but I couldn’t tell you that… I wish I had the strength to say this to your face. Baby, I need help, but I don’t think I want it just yet. Just a few more pounds…