Sunday, November 23, 2008

Today is my eldest daughters 3rd birthday. We had a party with cake, pizza, balloons, lots of friends. She was so happy at the end of the night, out of the blue gave me a big hug and kiss as I was putting on her pj's. This struck something in me and I started thinking about what it is to be a mother.

I can recall every moment of that night 3 years ago when I gave birth to my first daughter. I was in labour for 2 days until my contractions were getting painful. My husband and I read the same small paragraph in our birth manual about 1000 times. We were clueless, excited, scared and ready for something to happen. Well it happened, in a big way, and it is still happening. We never imagined the joy we would feel along with feelings of vulnerability having exposed ourselves to being parents. I think back over the past 3 years how my life has changed, I am responsible for another life (and another one since). Feelings of loneliness, isolation, frustration, joy, love, pride, my eyes and heart have been opened wider than I ever thought imaginable. I recall saying to one of my friends when my daughter was born, "this is the single most important thing I have ever done in my life." No amount of money, fame, popularity, failure, frustration could ever take this experience from me. The PROUDEST day of my life.