Hurricane Irma – Part 2: The Calm Before The Storm? Waiting For Disaster To Strike!

It’s Friday September 8, 2017. Yesterday I was blessed with a God story of having my sliders covered. 🙂 This morning and this afternoon I spent cooking meals for my sister and myself. Believe it or not, while I was cooking I couldn’t help but think about the 10 virgins; 5 had oil and 5 didn’t bring enough. And check THIS out, unknowing to you, I was BLESSED with being woken up abruptly – after 4 hours sleep – last Sunday to go to the store which I did happily. After all, who’s shopping for groceries at 6:30a at Walmart? Me and a few other people, and since Gordon Food opens at 7a, I managed to get my ritual (which is usually done on Saturdays) completed within 90 minutes flat including gassing up (which I almost didn’t BUT, the Holy Spirit was insistent and I listened.) It was the following day – Labor Day – was when I found out about hurricane Irma (Florida’s unwanted guest).

Today I had to pick up a Rx, and while I was at the store I crossed paths with a fellow Christian gal who confided in me that she’s really really scared and had a slight meltdown prior to coming in to work. I shared with her as a single sister that I can truly understand what she’s going through, and I had to remind her that our Lord has His hand upon her and that she has NOTHING to fear. Amen to that! While walking through the store I think I was the only extremely happy person there. And personally speaking – no matter what happens to me – I’m fine with it. But after dropping off food to my sisters and returning to my humble abode, I was greeted by several residents asking me about the roof. (yikes)

So, today’s worry is our “wonderful roof” that I’ve been warning my fellow board members about since 2012. Unfortunately, the “president” let everything fall to the way side and was more concerned with spending 55K per year and locking the community in a 5-year contract with ComCrap cable. Which brings me to my other complaint that I’ve been sounding the horn on since 2007 (mind you … I was on the board, and I personally hired a pest control company to inspect my unit, provided documentation, phone numbers AND specimens collected in a jar which I continue to do to THIS day lol) – AND yet, I was told I didn’t know what I was talking about. Well …. it was “officially” verified at the board meeting last week (for the 4th time) that my building has TERMITES!!! Yippee! Fellow residents wanted to “see” what a termite looked like which I happily ran back upstairs and grabbed one of the jars. The NEW BOARD was a bit surprised to see my “evidence” that I’ve been collecting for years and, it was confirmed – by the pest guy who was still present at the meeting – that what is in my jars are termites. Now, add Irma to the mix and our sacred new young resident approaching me with the question: Where’s the bad area of the roof? Where should I stay – in my unit or go to the rec room? What do I say to them? Well … (big sigh) Do I say stay “upstairs” or … go downstairs – which is an area that is total concrete BUT, will have flooding because of the surge that WILL occur? Hey … let me tell ya, When Wilma flew by, I had (for a brief moment) a condo on the canal! Furthermore, I’m unsure as to “where” to “go” in my own humble – termite infested – abode which seems to me – at this VERY moment – as being a house of cards. So, throughout my day – in between cooking and walking the halls – numerous residents were asking me about the roof…“where’s is the bad area”? Off the bat, it’s the North-east corner. And as everyone knows, once one part of the roof starts to blow away…. it’s just a matter of time for the rest to be peeled away too!

Curfew tomorrow is 3p. Emergency calls and texts begun last night at 11:30p and they’re nonstop. Took the doggies for a walk. The wind is blowing from the south-south west, it’s an eerie silence outside while I drink with my eyes probably one of the last truly beautiful South Florida late afternoon/early evening days before the scenery and all its loveliness is turned up-side down and into a disaster zone. I still have a few things to do that shouldn’t take long. I could do that tomorrow I suppose. After THAT’s done I begin to wait for Irma’s arrival, be comforted with some great studies by Scott Clark and Rabbi K Schneider, continue to be comforted that the Lord being by my side, perhaps watch something silly this evening (to try to take my mind off of it) and then pray without ceasing while enjoying life’s comforts (like a/c) and some GREAT Christian music while I have it. Right now, what’s playin’ in the background is Ray Stevens In The Eye of The Storm. How appropriate is THAT? I think it’s awesome! Click on the link to read the lyrics. Meanwhile …. I pray and wait in the Calm Before The Storm …Waiting For Disaster To Strike!

So here it is, Thursday Sept 7, 2017 and I’m patiently waiting for Irma – the unwanted guest to arrive. As opposed to pacing my floor, looking out the window, watching the direction the clouds are heading, checking the wind and running back and forth to the news (in hopes of hearing something different), I decided to write about it and perhaps share with out of the area people who are not in the same situation as myself, my family and my fellow Floridians are perhaps experiencing thus (and in hopes) giving you the ability to understand what “waiting for disaster to strike” is like.

For starters, I’m very grateful that I don’t have kids. On the other side of the coin, I have two little doggies who God has given to me as great companions and, I happily taken on the responsibility of being an excellent pet parent for all their days (or unless I’m raptured up) whichever comes first. You see, I reside on the Palm Beach/Broward county line in Humble Boca and my humble abode is about 1 mile away from the ocean. And from the looks of it, I’m on Irma’s direct path! I thought seriously about evacuating to the shelter only to discover it’s right down the street from me, which tells me – without even looking it up – I’m not in an evacuation zone, however, this storm is huge and no matter where I go – unless to the Midwest and grab one of my many cousin’s sofa or, off to California (which my friends have graciously opened their doors) – there’s no avoiding it. But suppose I did exit, what would forever be on my mind (until my return) would be my family’s safety and wondering if THEY are okay. I would also feel IF I decided to take the ride, as if I am abandoning them which to me is not happening. So I must remain in my humble – yet cool (for how long? I place in God’s hands completely) abode. The other “thoughts” that popped into play was: From my humble abode to Orlando is normally a two-and-a-half-hour drive north and, because of the panic that has already set in, would turn it into a 4+-hour drive to make. And, putting THAT aside, if I do exit it would probably take me light years to “return” to see the damages. These are just a few of the many thoughts that are running in a orderly manner through my head.

When you’re waiting for the storm to arrive, many thoughts go running through your mind like: Are my windows going to be bashed in? Should I keep my car near me or in the concrete parking lot on the other side of the block on the second floor? And if I DO park my car there do I need to worry about someone taking my gas or even stealing the “Paula Mobile”? Yikes! But let’s put that aside. Lets talk about when the power goes out. Heck, at least I’m on the hospital grid and it will be up in 3 days max. BUT, during those three hot and balmy days WHAT do I eat? Since I’m the daughter of King Jesus, I’m not eating plain tuna from a can. 😉 So, the question is: Should I make several noodle tuna dishes Friday evening and keep it in the frig? I have plenty of ice packs and I’ve been making ice since monday. Should I make more hard-boiled eggs? Should I make some chicken and fish and zip it up with my vacuum sealer and while I’m at it – zip up my important papers too??? Make sure to pull out the lantern (just in case) along with those D-batteries that’s recently been sparse. What about my clothes? Should I bag em all up and leave them hanging in the closet or should I put them in a plastic bin? What about pictures, should I bag those too along with the clothes? As for shoes… I don’t have many and all I need to do is zip it cuz they’re hangin’ in my humble closet ready to go. But, forget about any fashion show next week cuz I’ll be in survival mode and helping neighbors so I gotta make sure the Harley boots, sneakers and hiking boots are ready, along with work gloves and hats! Then there’s the “after the storm” clothes – which I’m just gonna pac in a large carry bag with socks, underwear, tops, toothbrush, toothpaste, moisturizer, lotion, mosquito wrist bands, Neosporin, Band-Aids, floss, shorts, brush, TP, paper towels, washcloths, deodorant and hair ties! Vitamins and Rx’s – they’ve been bagged since Monday and I’ll throw that in too!

Now for my babies food -that’s gonna be interesting! Both dogs are rescued dogs. Skippy the Amazing 3-legged shih tzu dislikes “hard food”. It has to be mixed with distilled water and he’s on a special diet to boot! So I’ll be making THAT tomorrow too! Little Girl on the other hand is a vocal Maltase who enjoys all food including Skippys! Their food can go in the roller thing that I recently got which will also stash their distilled H2o, treats and special food. Heck, if I have to exit stage left – it will even hold my food!

This morning when I woke up I kept on staring at my sliding glass doors. Actually, I’ve been staring at them since monday. I pondered the thought of running to home depot, grabbing some lumber and boarding up at least the slider. Of course they would have attached it to the roof for me but getting it up-the stairs would have been a sight to see (I weigh 109.2 lbs) let alone me getting it off the roof of the Paula Mobile. A few moments later my tech head neighbor invited me over to watch (and help) move things around in HIS humble abode. And shortly after my arrival he mentioned that Andre (the unit’s owner) was on his way to board up his sliders.

The little voice inside my head (since monday) was screaming at me this time saying: “board up the slider NOW!”. I’ve been through “warnings” before that I did heed (which is another God story for a later date) and decided (since we did what we needed to do) to politely excuse myself for a moment to act on what I’ve been told to do. Upon exiting I ran into one of the board members. Long story short, she told me to take the wood that was abandoned in one of the storage units – which I quickly snagged up and Andre arrived with a great crew, AND extra wood to not only board up his unit sliders but mine as well. THAT my dear friends is God in action and I am forever grateful for everything He does for me even if I lose everything. (which by the way, I have in the past and it was built up in a VERY mysterious yet amazing way. (that’s ANOTHER God story for another day.)

Friday is here! The emergency alerts are stating to begin. I must get some sleep because I know for sure I’ll be awake all night on Saturday and all day Sunday praying without ceasing. Zero Hour is quickly approaching. It’s the calm before the storm and all I can do now is wait for disaster to strike. To be continued…

Over the last five years, his books have moved over 500,000 copies, in more than 25 languages, and sales are accelerating. Whats more, thats just the tip of the iceberg. His creative agency, Brass Check, advises clients like Google, James Altucher, Neil Strauss, and Tony Robbins

So, why this morbid fascination?

Because death killing three things in and about ourselves lies at the core of long-term creativity and success.

1. Kill your excuses

Unlikely as it sounds, Holidays roadmap to perennial selling begins with a third century BC philosophy known as Stoicism. As Holiday told me:

The essence of Stoicism begins with making the distinction between what we control and what we dont control. This seemingly small thing is actually an enormous form of power and direction, he said. The Stoic doesnt look out at the world and try to change it; they try to change themselves to orient themselves to be the best person they can in that world.

Far from the stone-faced killjoy its often presented as, Stoicism has a long and illustrious history in entrepreneurship. From the ancient Roman conqueror Marcus Aurelius, to statesman and inventor Benjamin Franklin, right through to Shay Carl whose Maker Studios was acquired by Disney for half a billion dollars.

In true Stoic fashion, when Tim Ferriss asked Carl in Tools of Titans what phrase hed immortalize on a billboard, Carl responded: YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!

For Holiday, Stoicism means taking responsibility for life, rather than letting life dictate the terms:

When I was at American Apparel, it was often chaos. As a marketer, what that creates in you is a sense that the job is in the response. As in, Ok, this happened and what are we going to do with this? What can we do with this tiny bit of space and tight deadline? How can we turn our small budget to an advantage? he said. On a personal level, If this person is going to be up in my business, trying to attack me, what can I learn from the situation? What skill can I use this as an opportunity to practice?

Its always a question of: What are you going to do about it? he added.

Abdicating our responsibility is tempting. More so when the challenges of life are genuinely unfair.

However, to adopt a fixed or victim mindset robs us of the very power we need to face those challenges. Great art has always used pain and injustice as fuel, not just in the creative process but to thrive.

2. Kill your ego

For anyone familiar with Holiday, this point will come as no surprise. Holidays fourth book Ego is the Enemy focused on this imperative.

Still, its a subject Perennial Seller returns to because ego the hardwired desire to pursue our passions, satiate our desires, and ultimately serve ourselves is death if we want to sell to more than an audience of one.

In the book, Holiday explains, When I work on a project with clients, but particularly with my own writing I start by acknowledging a blunt but important truth: Nobody cares about what I have made. Humility is clearer-eyed than ego and thats important because humility always works harder than ego.

In the case of creatives, this can seem profoundly counterintuitive. After all, art is self-expression, right? Yes and no:

Successful creative work by definition requires satisfying an audience. Onanism is not a good artistic strategy. No one wants to buy that. If you don’t know whats going on in the lives or heads of other people, it is extraordinarily hard to make something that helps them or they enjoy.

The same is true for passion. Just because you’re excited about it doesn’t mean other people are. I felt I had to write a book about Stoicism that was my calling. But I didn’t write it in a way to please myself. I sat down and thought long and hard about how to best translate something I was passionate about into something that would benefit other people.

Killing your ego and abandoning the self-centered drive to create for me, doesnt mean selling out. Far from it. As Jeff Goins explains in Real Artists Don’t Starve, You can make money making art, and you dont have to sell out to do it.

The real issueas Goins, Holiday, and countless artists have insisted throughout timeis to fight ego with the relentless question, To whom am I adding value?

The creative process, Holiday noted, is all sacrifice. If the creative process is only fun, I suspect youre not pushing yourself or pushing deep into material that challenges you.

Its funny one of the knocks I have gotten has been for popularizing Stoicism, but people dont understand that the decision to write about and talk about this thing that I love and that fascinates me was not without sacrifice, he said.

I can tell you, no one in New York publishing was particularly excited about a book about an obscure school of ancient philosophy. A close friend predicted The Obstacle is the Way would sell 5,000 copies and be a huge mistake. But it was the book I wanted to write. Scratch that, I had to write it which is really the only reason to tackle any creative project. Because you cant not, he said.

Even more vital than sacrifice, however, is another mortal thread. One that takes us right back to where we began:

Theres a Napoleon line I learned from Robert Greene, Space I can recover; time. never. Of course, Seneca would say that its not that we dont have a lot of time, its that we waste it, Holiday said. Creators spend far too much time talking about what they will do and actually doing little of it. You could die tomorrow, man, are you going to be glad to put off working on your masterpiece for a day?

To kill your timeline isnt about throwing out your schedule. Instead, it means adopting a new orientation towards time itself, one that lives beneath the reality that time is limited so dont waste it talking about work. Get to work.

Death, creativity, and selling

The greatest obstacle to making work that last does not lie outside us. It does not depend on getting the right lucky breaks, cultivating the right relationships, or sidestepping the right pitfalls.

All of that matters, but the greatest obstacle lies within. Namely, our excuses, our egos, and our timelines.

At the risk of closing on a clich, perhaps Steve Jobs another man influenced by Stoicism and the desire to make something that outlasts life put it best:

Remembering that Ill be dead soon is the most important tool Ive ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose, he said. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

Aaron Orendorff is the founder oficoniContentand a regular contributor at Entrepreneur, Lifehacker, Fast Company, Business Insider and more. Connect with him about content marketing (and bunnies) onFacebookorTwitter.

Ninety per cent of Britons think of their pet as part of the family 16% even included them on the last census. But recent research into animals emotional lives has cast doubt on the ethics of petkeeping.

It was a Tupperware tub of live baby rats that made Dr Jessica Pierce start to question the idea of pet ownership. She was at her local branch of PetSmart, a pet store chain in the US, buying crickets for her daughters gecko. The baby rats, squeaking in their plastic container, were brought in by a man she believed was offering to sell them to the store as pets or as food for the resident snakes. She didnt ask. But Pierce, a bioethicist, was troubled.

Rats have a sense of empathy and there has been a lot of research on what happens when you take babies away from a mother rat not surprisingly, they experience profound distress, she says. It was a slap in the face how can we do this to animals?

Pierce went on to write Run, Spot, Run, which outlines the case against pet ownership, in 2015. From the animals that become dog and cat food and the puppy farms churning out increasingly unhealthy purebred canines, to the goldfish sold by the bag and the crickets by the box, pet ownership is problematic because it denies animals the right of self-determination. Ultimately, we bring them into our lives because we want them, then we dictate what they eat, where they live, how they behave, how they look, even whether they get to keep their sex organs.

In the US, 1.5m shelter animals are euthanised each year. Photograph: Getty Images/iStockphoto

It is morally problematic, because more people are thinking of pets as people They consider them part of their family, they think of them as their best friend, they wouldnt sell them for a million dollars, says Dr Hal Herzog, a professor of psychology at Western Carolina University and one of the founders of the budding field of anthrozoology, which examines human-animal relations. At the same time, research is revealing that the emotional lives of animals, even relatively simple animals such as goldfish, are far more complex and rich than we once thought (dogs are people, too, according to a 2013 New York Times comment piece by the neuroscientist Gregory Berns). The logical consequence is that the more we attribute them with these characteristics, the less right we have to control every single aspect of their lives, says Herzog.

Does this mean that, in 50 years or 100 years, we wont have pets? Institutions that exploit animals, such as the circus, are shutting down animal rights activists claimed a significant victory this year with the closure of Ringling Bros circus and there are calls to end, or at least rethink, zoos. Meanwhile, the number of Britons who profess to be vegan is on the rise, skyrocketing 350% between 2006 and 2016.

Widespread petkeeping is a relatively recent phenomenon. Until the 19th century, most animals owned by households were working animals that lived alongside humans and were regarded unsentimentally. In 1698, for example, a Dorset farmer recorded in his diary: My old dog Quon was killed and baked for his grease, which yielded 11lb. However, in the 19th and 20th centuries, animals began to feature less in our increasingly urban environments and, as disposable income grew, pets became more desirable. Even as people began to dote on their pets, though, animal life was not attributed any intrinsic value. In Run, Spot, Run, Pierce reports that, in 1877, the city of New York rounded up 762 stray dogs and drowned them in the East River, shoving them into iron crates and lifting the crates by crane into the water. Veterinarian turned philosopher Bernard Rollin recalls pet owners in the 1960s putting their dog to sleep before going on holiday, reasoning that it was cheaper to get a new dog when they returned than to board the one they had.

Nine per cent of British pet owners love their animal more than their children. Photograph: Getty Images/iStockphoto

More recently, however, several countries have moved to change the legal status of animals. In 2015, the governments of Canada and New Zealand recognised animals as sentient beings, effectively declaring them no longer property (how this squares with New Zealands recent war on possums is unclear). While pets remain property in the UK, the Animal Welfare Act of 2006 stipulates that pet owners must provide a basic level of care for their animals. Pets are also property in the US, but 32 states, as well as Puerto Rico and Washington DC, now include provisions for pets under domestic violence protection orders. In 2001, Rhode Island changed its legislation to describe pet owners as guardians, a move that some animal rights advocates lauded (and others criticised for being nothing more than a change in name).

Can I stick my dog in a car and take him to the vet and say: I dont want him any more, kill him, or take him to a city shelter and say: I cant keep him any more, I hope you can find a home for him, good luck? says Gary Francione, a professor at Rutgers Law School in New Jersey and an animal rights advocate. If you can still do that, if you still have the right to do that, then they are still property.

Crucially, our animals cant tell us whether they are happy being pets. There is an illusion now that pets have more voice than in the past but it is maybe more that we are putting words into their mouth, Pierce says, pointing to the abundance of pets on social media plastered with witty projections written by their parents. Maybe we are humanising them in a way that actually makes them invisible.

If you accept the argument that pet ownership is morally questionable, how do you put the brakes on such a vast industry? While he was writing his 2010 book, Some We Love, Some We Hate, Some We Eat, Herzog was studying the motivations of animal rights activists and whether it was emotion or intellect that pushed them towards activism. One of the subjects, Herzog says, was very, very logical. After he had become a vegan, eschewed leather shoes and convinced his girlfriend to go vegan, he considered his pet cockatiel. I remember; he looked up wistfully. He said he got the bird, took it outside, let it loose and it flew up, Herzog recalls. He said: I knew she wouldnt survive, that she probably starved. I guess I was doing it more for myself than for her.

Although Pierce and Francione agree that pet ownership is wrong, both of them have pets: Pierce has two dogs and a cat; Francione has six rescue dogs, whom he considers refugees. For now, the argument over whether we should own animals is largely theoretical: we do have pets and giving them up might cause more harm than good. Moreover, as Francione suggests, caring for pets seems to many people to be the one area where we can actually do right by animals; convincing people of the opposite is a hard sell.

Tim Wass, the chair of the Pet Charity, an animal welfare consultant and a former chief officer at the RSPCA, agrees. It has already been decided by market forces and human nature the reality is people have pets in the millions. The question is: how can we help them care for them correctly and appropriately?

If the short history of pet ownership tells us anything, it is that our attitude towards animals is prone to change. You see these rises and falls in our relationships with pets, says Herzog. In the long haul, I think petkeeping might fall out of fashion; I think it is possible that robots will take their place, or maybe pet owning will be for small numbers of people. Cultural trends come and go. The more we think of pets as people, the less ethical it is to keep them.

Maybe hes looking for a newchallenge. As we get older, work can feel more routine andeasy, which is born out in terms of brain activity.

Scans show tasks we are practised at often use less energy than novel activities we tend to do them more efficiently, and the mental energy required decreases. Were all familiar with this as our careers advance.

We also get more skilled at spotting our mistakes and rectifying them; as an old hand, you can notice when the edge has gone but you have enough tricks in the bag to make amends. This neuroprotective effect may be behind some of the results that show an apparent delay in symptoms of age-related cognitive decline for those more active in middle age. In this light a preemptive move, like Day-Lewiss, may be more sensible as we become over familiar with what we do.

It is perhaps typical of this most uncompromising of actors that hes quitting while ahead.

Dr Daniel Glaser is director of Science Gallery at Kings College London

Instead of celebrating on what would have been her son Landons fifth birthday, Jillian Johnson took the time to open up about the death of her baby boy.

Fearing she may be judged or labeled a bad mom, Jillian steered clear of sharing the story of Landons life and death for a long time. But she hopes in doing so now, her story might save another childs life.

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In preparing for Landons arrival, Jillian and her husband spent her pregnancy doing everything they could to be ready for their precious son.

“We took all of the classes. Bought and read all of the books. We were ready! Or so we thought…” she shared on the Fed Is Best Foundation’s blog. “Every class and book was geared toward breastfeeding and how it’s so important if you want a healthy child.”

Landon was even delivered in a baby friendly hospital, which geared mothers toward breast feeding. And after an emergency C-section, Landon exclusively breastfed.

Lactation consultants assured Jillian that he had a great latch and was doing fine, but Landon was constantly fussing for his mothers breast.

Jillians doctors evaluated her for difficulties with milk production, but her risk factors proved to be low, and they had Landon continue breastfeeding.

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But the first-time mom felt like she couldnt catch a break. Landon was on her breast for 15-40 minutes every one to twohours. And when he wasnt feeding, he was constantly crying. When Jillian asked why that was, the consultants told her itwas because he was cluster feeding.

“I recalled learning all about that in the classes I had taken, and being a first-time mom, I trusted my doctors and nurses to help me through thiseven more so since I was pretty heavily medicated from my emergency C-section and this was my first baby,” she wrote. “But I was wrong. I’ve learned I have to be my child’s number one advocate.”

In his first 24 hours of life, Landon nursed for more than nine hours. After being alive for just 53 hoursonly two and a half days, the baby had lost 9.72 percent of his birth weight.

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After just three days in the hospital, mom and baby were released to go home, despite being exclusively breastfed “with a mother whose milk had not come in.”

“So we took him home…not knowing that after less than 12 hours home with us, he would have gone into cardiac arrest caused by dehydration,” she wrote. “Did you know newborns aren’t supposed to cry all the time? They’re supposed to eat and sleep and dirty their diapers. I had no idea that he was inconsolable because he was starvingliterally.”

According to Dr. Christie Del Castillo-Hegyi, “Constant, unsatisfied nursing and inconsolable crying are twoof the signs of newborn starvation that lead to brain-threatening complications. Ifa child is receiving a fraction of their caloric requirement through early exclusive breastfeeding, they can experience severe hunger and thirst, which is why they will cry inconsolably and breastfeed continuously when it is the only source of calories and fluid they are offered.”

In addition to starvation, Dr. Christie says a child who is cluster feeding may actually burn more calories breastfeeding than they receive in return. This often leads to fasting conditions and rapid weight loss like Landon experienced.

When the new family returned home from the hospital, Landon fell asleep while cluster feeding. He became unresponsive with no pulse.

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After 15 days on life support, the newborn passed away.

“The best advice I was given by one of his NICU doctors while he was on life support is, ‘Sure breast is best, but follow with the bottle,’” she wrote. “This way you know your baby has eaten enough.

If only I could go back in time.”

Its been five years now since Jillian lost her son for something that could have totally been prevented had she known to advocate for her baby. Today, she wrestles with the guilt of wondering what life would be like had she known.

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I still have many, many days of guilt and questionswhat if I wouldve just given him a bottle? And anger because how would I have known. I remember when Stella was born, and she was always quiet. I kept asking the nurses what was wrong with her. They said nothing. Shes doing what shes supposed to. Sleeping. Eating. And it was then that I realized that it wasnt normal for a newborn to cry as much as Landon did. He was just crying out from his hunger. But I didnt know. I shouldve known. I still struggle daily feeling as though I failed him.

Jillian says she misses her son, and the life that could have been, but he taught her so much in his short little life.

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That little boy gave me ten of the most incredibly life-changing months. Ive been humbled. Challenged. My relationships have fallen apart. Some have come back together. Ive learned forgiveness. And the true meaning of life is short. I love hardto a fault. But I couldnt live with myself knowing his death was in vain. Ive learned so many lessons. Ive learned the true meaning of compassion and unconditional love.

Ultimately she hopes that sharing her story nowthough painful and hard to reconcilewill help other mothers to know that FED is best.

SHARE Jillians story with a mama in your life, help spread the message that babies should never go hungry.

When it comes to stirring up criticism,Brian Head Welchis no stranger to controversy. The lead guitarist for the band Korntook to social media on Thursday to process the loss of fellow musician Chester Bennington.

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The lead singer for Linkin Park reportedly committed suicide pm Thursday morning in his Los Angeles home. He was 41 years old, and left behind his wife and six children.

Welch posted a photo to Instagram Thursday with a message about Benningtons death saying that he knows the difficulties the music industry:

Music is one of the most relentlessly difficult industries to work in. It’s taken a toll on my body; mentally, physically, spiritually. From the outside, I completely understand why people roll their eyes when we highlight the difficulties. You see what we want you to see. The show. The facade. The pristine package. But creating that package asks us for more vulnerability than I think we’re prepared for when we start out. We find places in our souls that most have the luxury of not exploring. It gets dark.

But, with all of that understanding, Welch also says suicide is not the answer. Prefacing that his motives werent to cheapen a tragedy, the guitarist shared some honest thoughts about Benningtons temporary decisionacknowledging that it easily could have been him back in the day (before he was saved).

Honestly, Chesters an old friend who weve hung with many times, and I have friends who are extremely close to him, but this is truly pissing me off! How can these guys send this message to their kids and fans?! Im sick of this suicide [junk]. Ive battled depression/mental illness, and Im trying to be sympethetic, but its hard when youre pissed! Enough is enough! Giving up on your kids, fans, and life is the cowardly way out!!!

On Twitter, he even called Bennington a coward.

In a statement later on, Welch said that he didnt mean to sound insensitive, but he was dealing with a range of emotions.

Im sorry, I know meds and/or alcohol may have been involved, Im just processing like all of us and I know we are all having some of the same thoughts/feelings.

Before ending his emotional posts, Welch closed with a prayer:

Lord, take Chester in your arms and please re-unite him with his family and all of us one day. Be with his wife and kids with your grace during this difficult time.

He also added a note of hope amidst the darkness:

“Lets celebrate people. Lets celebrate good things. Lets celebrate art and each other. Theres a lot of darkness and hurt out there. You can add to it, you can make it colder, darker, or you can shine a light on it.

It was a car accident instead.

Laurareplayed the events of that fateful day in a Facebook post by Love What Matters:

The last text conversation I had with Jon was how he and his buddy were trying to see if they could help the horrible fire that happened in downtown Raleigh March 16th. Between Jon’s Navy Seal and medic training he was doing what we had all seen him doing before in times of tragedy…helping those in distress.That night when I received the call, my first thought was he had been hurt in the fire as the lady on the phone said your husband is non responsive. Next I was told it was an automobile accident and that he suffered Diffuse Axonal Injury (DAI) forcing him into a coma.

Jonwas in a coma, and 90% of patients with severe DAI never regain consciousness.

But Jon did.

Today hes alert, and working tirelessly to re-learn just a fraction of the things he once knew.

With Laura supporting him by a belt in front, and the therapist guiding him from the back, the minute long clip shows Jon going from his wheelchair, to standing ALL the way up!

Everything in between is a sweet moment between a husband and wife, overcoming the battles they face, together. They kiss and whisper to each other, as viewers watch and see Jon draw from his wifes strength and vice-versa.

One of the nurses told me yesterday he had seen many guys with similar injuries in recovery and at this stage many show signs of frustration, but the nurse said Jon doesn’t show frustration, but rather determination. That statement will forever stick with me.

Laura says shes never fully been able to comprehend that Jons injury is the most severe form of traumatic brain injury.

I kept thinking, Jon is stronger than that. He beats the odds. Heck he is a Navy Seal. Nothing stops him.