What is this MA(P) all about, for me

What is this MA(P) all about, for me

The idea for the film Family reunion was just to make a short video test for a feature film. But little by little it became a work in itself. Death of the main character is a metaphor for getting out of the family Pandora's Box. I didn't think of physical death much, but I used it to show how it can happen that in such a critical moment members of a family can't go over own selfish pain, anger and pity. It is the story about repressed loves manifested through negative emotions and about difficulties to accept each other as we are. The film is showing that people who are less involved with a dying man can be of greater help. I guess that's my life experience and often I recognize it around me. The film is a kind of confession and could be that each of my work is, but I discover it when it's done. Otherwise I would be blocked to create them. But this is my inner process and maybe I don't need school for it.

I learned not to give up, to look for solutions until I'm content. I learned that my final idea is hiding till the last moment of realization, and that I can't grab it fully before that. I can discover fragments of it while searching for shooting locations, or while talking to an actor who will cancel the role in the last moment. I found out that there is no lost time, everything came across for a reason and if I did let it do so, it integrated in complete image.

The aspect of team work was for me very important. I could see that if I have a clear vision of what I want to achieve I can give more freedom to other members of the team, letting them to show me the way to my own content. It is a kind of magic. But it also depends whom we choose as crew and how we treat them. For the Family reunion shooting I was extremely lucky, everyone was so enthusiastic, giving their own best, like they had a million dollar honorarium. And we didn't have any budget. Most of them were professionals but they behaved as we were doing a very serious project, not a student film. With them I learned not to be shy to ask from all members to give their best. Rajko Grlić and Janez Burger, my Film carrier module mentors in the MAP programme, were pushing me that way and now I see a great benefit from it.

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My wish on entering this MA programme was to let myself experiment with video film surface and explore visual language so I can tell meaningful stories. I'm also interested in combining film and art, or maybe in film as painting, as music, poetry or philosophy. When I studied on a conceptual-art oriented academy in Amsterdam (Rietveld academie) I did experience the creative process without sticking to a certain technique. But then I found out that I needed to learn how to follow my own ideas inside of some media framework and still stay free to be surprised and to surprise others.

The first year of the MA studies gave me more than I expected. If I compare my BA graduation film "Meshes" and the film I just finished, "Family reunion" under Rajko Grlić and Janez Burger's mentorship, I can see the difference, I can see a major step forward in the visual and cinematographic sense. I think I achieved a certain level of storytelling without description and I'm glad about that. My theoretical graduation thesis also helped me a lot to understand the space and time aspects in film. And for that I'm very grateful to my mentor Jože Dolmark. And not to forget my dear professors: Mitja Riechenberg, Jasna Hribernik, and Robert Černelč. These mentors in the Technique in Practice module revealed to me a brand new Universe, something between metaphysics, philosophy, poetry and practical work.

What I also find precious in this MA study programme is the freedom I have been given by all mentors and professors, the individual communication, their gift to see who I am and where I go, and according to that they are giving me guidance, knowledge and advice. Each of them is a great artist (author), pedagogue and personality with a warm, intelligent hart. That's why this school isn't for me just a classical education experience. I'm also learning how to be what I am and to find creative ways to show it. And I'm very grateful for that. I know this sounds pathetic but that my point of view and my experience.

I don't see my work separated from me and my daily life. Also it's often for me a frustration to dig inside of myself looking for content to be articulated, I find joy and relief when it turns into some creative result.

I could write a whole lot more about my master studies at the Media Arts and Practices programme, but now I want to sleep -- so I'll continue another day :)