The Hidden Life of Drew McLellan

OK, four (or more) can play at this game. Shel Israel tagged two of our lovely ladies of blogging, Toby Bloomberg and Liz Strauss, to reveal deep and dark secrets about themselves. Both Toby and Liz rebelled, and instead revealed faux secrets about Shel.

Well, we can’t let that Iowa boy get away scot-free. So, below are 8 previously-unrevealed secrets about Drew, culled from the microfiche archives of the National Enquirer:

1. Drew once played football on a professional NFL team. However, there was so much collaboration going on in the huddle, that his team was endlessly penalized for “delay of game.” Only after being cut from the team did he get into his marketing gig.

2. Drew is originally from Greenland. Only four other living souls share that distinction, and three of them are certifiably insane. The other one blogs as “Tangerine Toad.”

3. Drew’s favorite color is Clear. His windows, at least, are very fashionable. Do not ask him to buy clothes, however.

4. Drew was a bit part actor in the Christmas classic “It’s a Wonderful Life.” He’s the one that snuck ZuZu’s petals back into Jimmy Stewart’s pocket.

5. Drew holds 5 patents on a process for turning tapioca pudding into artificial turf. Thus far, no takers. However, there is some serious interest in his chocolate goalpost concept (though not in Phoenix and Miami).

6. Drew’s genome was sequenced all the way back in 1991, but the backup floppy disks were lost in a fire in Des Moines’ only sushi bar.

7. Drew puts ketchup on his Cheerios.

8. Drew actually does not exist. That picture on his blog is a cardboard cutout. At the Blogger Social ’08, we’ll all find out that Drew McLellan is actually Paul McEnany.

I think all these deep dark secrets of marketing bloggers ought to surface in the next 3 months, before the Social. Who has the goods on David Reich??