Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Time for a TIME OUT

I’m a father. I’ve been a father now
for about 9 years. I have three kids. I love them deeply. I admit its kinda fun
seeing the role of the father from the other side of the fence…well, its fun
most of the time. I was thinking about the “parenting” stage of life today, and I
came to one conclusion: This is a recipe for disaster. Allow me to elaborate.

Learning the necessary lessons of
childhood isn’t exactly easy; I mean we have a lot of developmental ground to
cover from birth to 18 years old. There’s a lot of important stuff in there
that, lets face it, we just have to know. Some of the lessons of childhood we must become experts at in order
to be successful adults. Therefore, we spend most of our time growing up attempting
to conquer the developmental phases of childhood (some of us become good at
it, some never do). Ironically, right about the time we start to understand the
expectations the world, society, parents, and God places on the youngster, an
unfair thing happens…childhood ends and we become the other thing…an adult. So
all of the sudden the tables turn, the coin flips, and the shoe slips onto the
other foot. The expectations placed on us are different, we are viewed in a
different light, and responsibilities increase exponentially. Because of this
drastic shift, we pretty much restart the learning curve. Hopefully childhood
has prepared us for adulthood, but in reality, much of the adult life simply
has to be learned on the fly. Then, to make matters worse, (or if your as
lucky as I am) right about the time adulthood begins…and long before we grasp
what adulthood entails…we become parents. Do you see the problem here? Let me
put it to you in a different way…

The young-adult parent
is an individual that just barely got the hang of childhood before, just
recently, attempting adulthood, and yet has taken on the arduous task of
teaching a brand new human how to be a successful child so that it can develop
into a successful adult, which is something that the young-adult parent hasn’t
personally figured out yet.

Go ahead; read that last paragraph a
few more times…I really want you to get a good grasp on what it says.

To be honest, I do not fully
understand everything it really means either…accept that I may not the best
choice for offering parental advice…not yet anyhow.

However, thereis one thing that I do
know. I can tell you about one invention that resulted from us “shortcutting” the
process from childhood to parenthood. You ready? This is deep. One result of
this crisis is…TIME OUTS. That’s right, TIME OUTS. You know what I’m talking
about, the disciplinary technique that swept across America in the early 90’s. The TIME
OUT! You want me to tell you where TIME OUTS came from? This is my opinion, but
I think they were invented by young-adult parents who needed a break in the
action so that they could figure out what the heck was going on. I know I have
to take a minute now and then to contemplate what in the world my wonderful,
beautiful child just did…then figure out how I’m supposed to react to it. The TIME
OUT was invented for the parents…not the kids (again, my sarcastic opinion). But somehow
or another, TIME OUTS went from a moment of parental contemplation to a wide
spread form of discipline. And to be honest, the whole idea just blows me away.

Most child psychologists will tell
you that TIME OUTS will work for children as young as 18 months old. My kids are older than that, but the concept still makes me shake my head. A TIME OUT means
that when my daughter, Reagen, steals a toy from her brother's room, runs
through the living room, purposefully whacks the 7 year old on the head as she
passes by, sneaks out the front door, and is found running down the driveway
with the stolen property in her hands… I, as a good father, am supposed to say…

“Alright,
that’s it young lady….TIME OUT!”

Then I should sit her down in the
designated “TIME OUT” chair and have her thoughtfully consider the wrongs that
she has done and the negative effect it has had on her life, as well as the
toll it has taken on the other people coexisting in the environment in which
she committed the undesirable acts.

Come on, give me a break! We have adult time outs called PRISON TIME...and somehow I dont think that works very well either. Very few people adults or children actually benefit from forced self contemplation.

But you know, come to think of it, I
don’t really know why I’m against TIME OUTS, because my father believed strongly
inTIME OUTS… and see, I turned out
alright. Yes, I can recall several times that good ole Dad would take “TIME OUT”
of his busy day to whip my tail. On the other hand, perhaps that was just his
modified version of a TIME OUT.

Okay, okay, I hear what you’re
thinking…”where is all this going David?” Alright, I’ll get to the point. I
want to talk to you about another age-old parenting technique…one that is
promised to work… thats right, and this foolproof technique is called…the TIME
OUT.

(No, I have not lost my marbles…just keep
reading.)

You see this is a different kind of
TIME OUT. Even though this parenting technique also involves sitting still and
thinking, there are some major differences that you must understand. You see,
this is not a technique that earthly parents can offer their earthly children.
No this TIME OUT can only be administered by the Heavenly Father, to His
earthly children. In addition, it’s not used for discipline, not at all; this
TIME OUT is used for comforting and for reassuring. Let me take you to the
Word…and you’ll quickly see what I’m referring too.

Lets start in Exodus 14:13…And Moses said unto the people,
Fear
ye not, stand still, and
see the salvation of the LORD, which he will give to you today.

Now flip to 2 Chronicles 20:17…Ye shall not need to fight in
this battle: set yourselves, stand ye
still, and see the salvation of the LORD with you.

Okay, now turn to Psalms 4:3-4…But know that the LORD hath set
apart him that is godly for himself: the LORD will hear when I call unto
him. Stand in awe, and sin not: commune
with your own heart upon your bed, and
be still.

One more, this one is my favorite, Psalms 46:10-11…Be still, and know that I am
God: The LORD of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our refuge.

Now do you see where I’m
coming from? Like I said, this is an age-old parenting technique. Its one that
God has used for His children since the beginning of time. Even Adam would
spend some quiet moments with God every day. So, when things get tough, when
circumstances get confusing, when you feel the weight of the world crushing down…take
a TIME OUT. Get away from the rat race, from the family, from the noise, and be
still.

This is for you child.
This is for you adult. This is for you parent. From the very heart of our
Heavenly Father to the very middle of your biggest problem. He is calling us to
stop, be still, and remember that He has not changed, He is still in control,
and He is still working for you. So, take a deep breath, close your eyes, put
your heart back into the hands of Almighty God, and take a TIME OUT.

The Personnel Journal reported this
incredible statistic: since the beginning of recorded history, the entire world
has been at peace less than eight percent of the time! In its study, the
periodical discovered that of 3530 years of recorded history, only 286 years
saw peace. Moreover, in excess of 8000 peace treaties were made—and broken.

How about this, lets stop trying to
do it the world’s way…and start trying it God’s way…the more I try Him, the
more I believe He knows what He is talking about.