Rick Castle stops his train of thought and mentally edits himself. Even in the privacy of his thoughts, he always wishes to be understood. Montgomery is dead, but he is not. A man is the sum of his parts, and the parts – outside of the physical – remain.

In the bottom drawer of Castle's desk, underneath his notes and scribbles and half-baked ideas that never quite came to fruition, lay a massive stack of files. He doesn't want to know how many laws he is currently breaking by having them.

He doesn't want to know how heartbroken Kate would be if she found them, knew he was hiding them from her, knew Montgomery sent them to him for safe-keeping.

Captain Roy Montgomery isn't dead. Castle will keep him alive in his books, in the movie spin-offs. The cheesy platitudes – "he will live on in our memories" – for once make sense, because the Captain always seemed larger than life.

Everybody mourns, but people who knew him keeps a part of him. His advice, his sense of humor, the sense of justice they all knew, rather than his past deeds.

If a man is the sum of his parts, there's a lot remaining of the Captain. His Precinct, which continues to run in his absence, though a cloud hangs overhead. His family, who will make him proud; Rick Castle is already preparing a fundraiser for them. His protégé – his saving grace, his reason to grow as a man; Kate Beckett is who Roy Montgomery wished to live up to… when by all appearances, it had always been the other way around.

Captain Roy Montgomery is Rick Castle's personal devil; he's left with the work the Captain started, literally and figuratively… and he has no idea where to start.

Captain Roy Montgomery is a traitor.

Javier Esposito has a rigid interpretation of right and wrong. When Lanie points it out, he shoots back that it comes with the job, and that whole Special Forces stint helped. She glares, and he knows he's growing a violent streak, and he blames that on the Captain, too.

He's never hit his partner before, but when Ryan said- He'd been so furious. At Ryan for saying it aloud, at himself for not seeing it, at Beckett for continuing this case that has become far too close for all of them.

At Castle – who, from what he can tell, was the person the Captain eventually confided in. Castle! A writer, not a cop, not a man with a badge but a vest with "writer" etched on it like he's playing a game. Except this game has life and death consequences, and only in the past year does Rick Castle seem to realize this.

Captain Roy Montgomery is a traitor.

Esposito doesn't like to admit he cries. He's a man's man, all the way, and crying is for the boys he pulls in off the streets after they've gotten in too far over their heads. He's seen enough hand done enough that pain – physical and emotional – is actually not all that effective a tool.

He nearly broke when he was forced to watch his partner be tortured. And he breaks every night over losing the man who did this, who brought them together and then tore them apart with his silent lies as they spent nights pouring over documents and reports and pictures so old they wouldn't know a photoshop if it bit them in the ass.

Captain Roy Montgomery is a traitor, but Esposito mourns who he could have been… and used to be.

Captain Roy Montgomery is her own personal Jesus Christ. He died for his own sins, of course – but in the end, he died for her. Because of her. Because he loved her.

And Kate Beckett can't quite get over that.

In the days before the funeral, she feels his Holy Ghost following her around. And she does mean holey because she was there that night, and she had his blood on her hands – it won't wash off – and one of the first things he taught her at the Precinct was a morbid sense of humor.

'You can't let this job own you. You have to show it who's boss – sometimes, it takes more guts to laugh than to face an armed man.'

Kate wonders if that's why he kept Castle with her, to the very end. Was he meant as a distraction? Had he anticipated the writer's devotion to her and her past?

Captain Roy Montgomery is her own personal Jesus Christ. He gave her words to live by. He guided her, loved her, and gave his life to protect her.

And Kate Beckett curses his name almost as much as she curses God. She lays in bed, knowing she has every reason to hate him.

How often did she chase her own tail investigating her mother's murder, never knowing the answers were behind that desk? How often did he encourage her, even when she was off the case, to find answers, all the while hiding his past? How often-

Kate cries, and begs his forgiveness in the dark of the night. She hates him as much as she loves him, and it hurts more than any bullet wound.

In the end, he was only a man.

But Captain Roy Montgomery is a hero… and nobody can tell her otherwise.

Disclaimer:

Castle and everybody and everything related to it is owned by ABC and a bunch of other companies that I do not own nor work for. I am simply a fan!

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