Intensive Marriage Retreats with John Grey, PhD

Menu

Lightness

Lightness is the opposite of heaviness. It is an antidote to being overly serious – and getting bogged down in difficulties. The card LIGHTNESS reminds you of the benefits of striking a balance between working on a problem and letting it go for a while. You can’t always be working on a relationship. You also need to enjoy it! Finding a balance is crucial.

Lightness allows the mind to relax instead of remaining clamped down on a problem. In opening your mind, you can start to breathe more freely. You become like a kite that floats on the wind, rising above the limits of gravity and heaviness. There is a letting go of the weights of self-importance, the need to be “right,” and taking things too seriously. You can get some perspective and see more sides of an issue. From this position, new and more fulfilling options can be seen.

Humor is a great form of lightness. It requires the agility to drop a stance or a preconception and see the funny aspect of something. When we can be amused by our own struttings and pretensions, we show signs that we can grow – and learn to do things in new ways. Partners who have a sense of humor access a lightness that can even help them to move through difficulties and stuck situations.

When do you tend to be overly serious – or take yourself too seriously – getting stuck in an unproductive stance? This card may be inviting you to let go of excess weight. Maybe you believe that you can’t possibly be happy until you solve a particular problem. Perhaps you are stuck in an “adult” role, overburdened by responsibilities and seriousness.

The card LIGHTNESS may be telling you to take time out to loosen your constraints and re-engage your childlike sense of wonder and playfulness. Relationships thrive and blossom with play, and play comes from acceptance and permission. The freedom of play unlocks a source of spontaneous energy that feeds your spirit, revives and heals you. What you do is not as important as the lightness in doing it. You can be silly, make funny faces, or even joke around in an odd voice.

This card, however, does not promote denial. People who insist that things always stay light, who make fun of appearing too serious, or who invalidate their partner’s emotional issues are only stunting their own growth. If you often try to escape heavy situations, the card LIGHTNESS may actually be asking you to pursue greater depth. The ability to work on things on a deep level is essential to your personal growth and to your development of healthy relating skills.

Balance between seriousness and lightness, work and play, is the key. The saying “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” points out the dullness that can overtake us, as well as our relationships, if we work too hard. Overworking dulls our senses, and we become blind to positive options and solutions. We occasionally need to take a break and come back to things later, with a fresher vision!

This card encourages you to strike a balance between the heavier and lighter aspects of relating. Recognize when it is time to deal with serious issues – and when it is time to let go or have fun. In this way, you will become more resourceful in working out problems – and more joyful in daily life!

The key to lasting happiness in love. Some people communicate in ways that promote good feelings and a happy connection. Most of us need to learn better tools to do this.

Become an effective communicator and get positive results. Express your needs well and have them met. Foster good feelings and prevent negative patterns.

For over 25 years I have helped thousands of people build healthy, happy relationships. I’ve learned what damages love — and what makes a couple thrive. I’d like to give you the tools to keep your love life on track.

My book Relationship Tools for Positive Change shows step-by-step how to create a solid, secure partnership — the kind that gets better with time! I’m so confident you’ll benefit from this book that I offer you a money-back guarantee.

Post navigation

Lightness is the opposite of heaviness. It is an antidote to being overly serious – and getting bogged down in difficulties. The card LIGHTNESS reminds you of the benefits of striking a balance between working on a problem and letting it go for a while. You can’t always be working on a relationship. You also […]