So, the other night we wrote down our ideas. I thought we'd just get a few ideas down, since we were both really tired. But no, we got started and just kept going!

We thought of 22 ideas for date night! That's over five months worth of weekly date nights! Wow! We need somewhere to store these wonderful ideas, of course. And since Ben's not using his index cards that he bought for his study, he suggested putting them to good use - cut them up, write our ideas down and store them in a cute little box. That way, when we book in a date night, we've got an idea ready to go, instead of falling for the usual "Oh, let's just watch a DVD." thing.

These ideas are what we'd like to do, based on our likes. So of course most of them are about sex or could easily include sex. So whilst some are quite tame, be warned. This list is not for those who blush easily (or are embarrassed that the thought of husbands and wives with children actually having fun with their marriage)! There's also some that you and your husband just don't get or don't like. No problem - just think up an alternative or change it to suit you!

OK, so here they are: Ben and Julie's next 22 Date Nights........

1. Baking in aprons only. Eating the food together is mandatory. No utensils allowed whilst eating!
2. Write a song together.
3. A romantic picnic in an isolated location. In case we lose our clothes.....or something.
4. Star gazing from our backyard on our children's trampoline.
5. Shopping for clothes for each other and at Officeworks. Yes, we do love stationery that much!
6. A Solomon-and-Shulamith-themed night. We're re-using this one. Ben organised the last one and it was SO AWESOME! He got out our mosquito net, put it over our dining table, put the futon mattress under the table, only had one lamp going so it was quite dim, put a CD on of middle-eastern type music and we lay underneath the table in the romantic, dusky atmosphere and ate dried fruit and nuts with a drink. On top of that, he wrote out verses from Song of Songs (or Song of Solomon) and we read them out to each other. It does help if you know the code words for Song of Songs. Believe me, I've never thought of the word 'garden' quite the same ever again! And if you don't know who Shulamith is, she's Solomon's lover in Song of Songs. It's hot stuff and I reckon even those who aren't christians could still use this idea.
7. Talking about, planning and maybe even actually DOING a bedroom makeover (we have a 'blank canvas' for our bedroom, hence the idea).
8. Just for a giggle, having sex whilst trying to keep as many clothes on as possible.
9. Clean the shower. Together.
10. Ben has a new ute. We're going to make a memory in it. Or on the bonnet.
11. I luuuurve to dance. So we're going to practice the few latin dance steps we know. And yes, it's mandatory to have a shower, put on some schmick clothes and have a few mocktails (or cocktails).
12. Play a board game.
13. Visit the beach together. Even better if there's no one else around.
14. Practice massage techniques on each other. Candles, nice oils and nice music are essential.
15. Get out some paper and pencils and practice sketching.
16. Get someone to babysit and do some gardening together.
17. Watch 'Casablanca'. Every time someone in the movie says "Casablanca", take it in turns to take off an item of clothing. Applies to any DVD, with modified words to signal that someone is about to show some skin!
18. Make chocolate truffles. Eat them together.
19. Get out your best lingerie/undies, have a shower. Put them on. Then see what happens.
20. Meet up for a coffee and pretend you've never met and it's your first date.
21. Do some relaxation/meditation together.
22. This isn't an idea of what to do, but for wives - it can be added to your date night when you go out. Just before you arrive at your date, tell your husband that you're not wearing any underwear. Bonus points if you whisper it in his ear while holding him close!

As I write this, I'm feeling convicted about women who are conscious about the size or shape of their body. Firstly, don't worry about how you look. Just don't. Your husband will be so awed by the amazing experience of a hot date that he won't even notice those little imperfections that you do. Secondly, if you are self-conscious, candle light or dim light is your friend. Use it. Thirdly, if there are some things on this list that are too wild or crazy for you, then start with an easy one - garden together or do some latin dancing. Then try a slightly hotter one, like DVD-watching with a twist! Ramp up the temperature gradually!

If you are feeling unconfident about trying a hot date but would like to give it a shot, be prepared to discipline your thoughts as you prepare for your hot date. I know from my experience that it's hard to step out in such a big way and you might feel silly. Your negative, small and safe self will be telling you to retreat and pull the plug on awesome plans to bless your man. Tell her to shut up and replace those thoughts with positive, affirming ones. That first step is the hardest - once you've overcome the lack of confidence and set a new tone for your marriage with hot dates, it gets better and better with every single hot, great, awesome, spectacular date you spend together.

When you are on your hot date, try hard to keep your thoughts on your man and what you're trying to achieve. Don't think about that extra bit of padding on your hips or that spot on your chin or how weird you're feeling being dressed up in your slinky gear at home! Chuck out those thoughts and think about your man instead and what you like about him!

If things go wrong - not things like having a fight, which shouldn't happen because you'll be so busy having fun, I mean silly things like you get a cramp whilst in the middle of things in the ute or you do a spin whilst latin dancing and hit your hand on the book case with a flourish - then my advice to you is just laugh. Laugh at yourself and with your husband. It's all about fun. Letting go and being vulnerable with your man - the pathway to greater intimacy and blessing.

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