Introducing the Trenches of France

A revolutionary new home to body lice everywhere.

Look at that happy customer!

New to France, recently dug trenches have been found to be a unique and exciting home for body lice everywhere. Extraordinarily popular, the men in these trenches allow many, many lice to live on at one time, as evidenced by the red bite marks all over the hosts. Even better, it is extremely hard to be removed from your new home! Your eggs will be safely guarded in the clothes of these men and will hatch from their own body heat.

If you call now, we'll include our new package - trench fever! This is carried by you into your new home, and prevents the host from fighting in battle, to guarantee you and your family can live without any harm coming to the host and starving you.

Ever wish you could have more neighbors? Now you can! Thousands and thousands of body lice just like you can live side-by-side in the comfort of your new home.

If it ever gets too boring in your new home after a while, you can always move to a new one! The trenches are usually filled with many men and you can almost always safely travel across from person to person.

With any home always comes danger. Watch out for those trench rats--they can steal your host's food, and that's never good! No food your your host can mean no food for you, and we like to keep our customers happy and well fed!