I knew I would eventually have that moment or reason that would bring me back here to share with anyone who might still be reading. I have wanted to get back here and finish the story, but I certainly was not ready to add to the story. Not that I don’t worry about it everyday. Everywhere I go I hear about someone having their cancer come back, someone passing away from cancer, or a new diagnosis. I hear about a woman who could easily be me with two girls the same age but when she was diagnosed she was already very ill and she isn’t doing well. I’m reminded to be grateful. I try to stay focused on the positive. Let’s be honest, why wouldn’t I wonder if mine will come back or how I got to be so lucky to be healthy here and now?

Hey there! Remember when I was telling the story about my treatment? Me too! I was just getting to part of the story about the end of my chemotherapy infusions when I got a little distracted, had computer difficulties, got busy, went on vacation, got through the holidays, and, well, now this post is actually about me Thirteen Lucky Months ago. I left off talking about the day of my last chemo and how I was feeling going into it.

Since I was still a nervous patient and I had the added complexity of actually making the doctors nervous, I was able to see the oncologist before going down for my last infusion. As usual, I had a list of questions. I will spare you my notes about my upset stomach issues caused by the drugs. I had a chest cold and cough. There was green stuff instead of clear. I had a slight fever off and on. Yes, I could get it anyway. I had an ache in my armpit and breast. It had been there for months. I asked nearly every chance I had where someone would listen. I wanted to start working out. I had to wait until after the surgery and that release.

I have covered quite a few of the really serious side effects that I experienced. Now comes one that is a little harder to admit to having experienced. The funny thing is, I know I am not the only one who has had a similar issue! I won’t out that person, but I will tell you about me. I will admit, that prior to being diagnosed, I would dabble in a little Kardashian viewing, and That Guy and I were pretty into Big Brother during the summer as a standing tv date. That was my end of reality television though. I did not understand any of the Real Housewives shows, and would out and out tease a friend who watched them and talked to me like I had any idea what in the hell she was talking about. I will admit to watching a marathon of Bethany’s married or having a baby show or something once when I had a stomach virus. I never got into American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, or The Bachelor(ette) series. I was the girl who volunteered to go save seats at the bar during the Survivor finale in college. So very much not my thing is what I am getting at here.

The past few months my running activity has come to a screeching halt really. I was not able to run in the race that I initially set as myself for a goal. I did walk with a great friend and then after I did not do a lot of walking the rest of the day. That Guy rubbed my foot and back. For these last few months, missing out on the activity I had come to rely on to get back in shape and relieve stress and get some alone time, almost meditative like to help relieve the stress and anxiety, was leaving a negative cloud and causing me to hobble around in it. Finally I realized I needed to see a doctor.

Say what you will about my decision to procrastinate. It went beyond just my mom telling me to make a phone call and see if I could have it checked. Friends and co-workers chimed in as well. I just have not had the time and, most of all, I was scared. What if it wasn’t a pulled muscle? What if it wasn’t the same old pain I have had for ages just progressing? Why was it starting on my hip and going throughout my leg in different areas and causing heel pain? Were they connected? Did I really want to open that can of worms?

So let’s just say that last year, while I was finally driven enough to start the blog with a strong push from a friend, October was kind of a hard month for me. I was just starting to recover after my hospital stay, starting a new regimen of chemo drugs and dealing with the new side effects, and everywhere I looked there was pink pink pink. Then at the end of the month I ranted about how to actually support the pink shopping and donation movement, and raved a bit about my support system. I was as bald as a baby’s behind. I could barely walk my daughter into school without being out of breath at the beginning of the month, but tried to do a walk as part of a team of both co-workers and friends by the end of the month.

Breast Cancer isn’t really very funny. Parenthood, however, I will admit can be really really funny. And I do try to laugh at myself as often as possible. When you combine That Girl, That Guy, and My Girls, you get a pretty Wacky life. When I was a child, probably when I was learning to read, one of my favorite books was “Wacky Wednesday” by Dr. Seuss. Since we constantly talk about how wacky my oldest is, some Wednesdays I will be sharing what I think are pretty Wacky stories, quotes, and silliness from our lives. Enjoy!

As part of my recovery and reclaiming my life, I have started exercising for myself and preparing for a long time goal of running a local 5k that supports local breast cancer programs. I have walked the event before, but I have never been fit enough to run. So I started preparing a few months ago. I never dreamed that it would be entertaining in addition to healthy time for myself, both mentally and physically. If you follow me, you may remember my post about seeing actual Christmas in July decorations out. That was just the tip of the crazy iceberg!

As we headed into the holidays, my stomach was going crazy and things were just not smooth. These weekly chemo treatments were a bit annoying to be honest. I did much better mentally with the every three week regiment. Finding friends to go along was getting a little more difficult as well. Luckily, I had someone each time. My mind was racing pretty much all the time. Here I was, nearing the end of chemo, and I really didn’t know if it was working. I wanted to know, but was terrified to find out when I had my surgery.

About half way through the Taxol, Perjeta, and Herceptin routine, things started to go slightly less than smoothly. I had some issues with my stomach, a rash, and I was getting more tired each time. Unlike the first set of drugs, these were hitting me each and every week with no time to bounce back. Good for getting the job done I suppose, but not so good for rest and relaxation. And to top it off, we were heading into the holidays. Overall, though, not too bad compared to what I hear from other patients’ experiences.