Perhaps we should be clearer: the question at hand is whether Tom Cruise is a style icon. It’s a fair question, and one we’ve found ourselves pondering for whatever reason in these slow-going post-Oscar, pre-summer-blockbuster months.

First, there are all kinds of reasons he’s not: he isn’t exactly Ryan Gosling off screen; he almost definitely relies on a stylist for the red carpet; and, oh yeah, he’s the leading member of a batshit pseudo-religious organization that may or may not run hard-labor prison camps. [Ed. Note for legal reasons: Allegedly. ]

No one paid much attention to Spud Webb at the 1986 NBA Slam Dunk competition. At 5′7", he was (and remains) the shortest player ever to compete in the contest. The rest of the field dwarfed him by over a foot. Even Dominique Wilkins, Webb’s teammate and the reigning slam-dunk champion, brushed Spud aside. “I don’t think he’s ever seen me dunk before,” Webb said in a pregame interview. Then he did the following:

An elevator two-handed double-pump dunk, a one-handed off-the-backboard jam, a 360-degree helicopter one-handed dunk, a 180-degree reverse double-pump slam and a 180-degree reverse two-handed strawberry jam from a lob bounce off the floor, the latter two of which received perfect 50-point scores in the final round to bring home the gold.

We have no control over how tall we stand—height is fixed from the start. How we stand, though (or soar, in Mr. Webb’s case) is measured in stature. And stature knows no bounds. With that in mind, we proudly present:

Maverick, Iceman, Goose, Viper, Slider: egos writing checks that bodies couldn’t cash. If they screwed up just this much, they’d be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong. The Navy called it Fighter Weapons School. The fliers called it Top Gun.

1980s metal, without a doubt the most absurd era of grooming in music, hits the big screen this June in Rock of Ages, and we like what we see: really good actors with really bad hair, including Tom Cruise, Russell Brand, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Mary J. Blige and Alec Baldwin—who, in the trailer released along with Sherlock Holmes 2, declares, “This place is about to become a sea of sweat, ear-shattering music and puke.” Ah, 1987.

Simply put: the dudes looked like ladies, thanks to Technicolor spandex, eyeliner, cocaine and a shitload of Aqua Net Purple, glam-rock’s preferred brand of hair spray. In fact, it’s rumored that members of Poison would exhaust one or two bottles each, every show. Thus the whole ozone layer conundrum.

Here’s one thing we like about sunglasses: not a lot’s changed. If it looked good in ’56, it looks good now. So to help you settle on your own personal style for the summer, we’ve brought together some of the most stylish gentlemen ever to block out UV rays, together with the modern equivalent of their signature shades.

Belly Up to the Bar: Thank ??? someone out there is poking around Russian Elle for Bar Refaeli shots. [Goldenfiddle]

Casual Friday: We're a little surprised that this internal memo from Interview on office dress code was even necessary. We could guess that this has something to do with the magazine's new Capo di tutti capi, Glenn O'Brien—but then again, the guy doesn't always hew to the rule himself. [Gawker]

If last year’s overwhelming resurgence of Ray Ban Wayfarers taught us anything, it’s that in matters of eyewear, everyone looks cooler in old stuff. Earnest Sewn—the masters of coopting quirky-but-classic brands—will take the idea one step further and about a century back, when Moscot’s pop-up shop opens in Earnest Sewn’s MPD store this spring.

Paying homage to the New York eyeglass store that opened in 1915 (that’s a solid 22 years pre-Ray Ban and 68 years pre-Risky Business), the shop will offer Moscot’s Original eyeglass and sunglass frames, as well as two new, collaborative, limited edition styles: the Lemtosh Frame in Buffalo Horn and a new, lighter Blond. So you can take a little chance without running the risk of resembling 1985 Tom Cruise.