There’s No Going Back

Life has been absolutely crazy lately. At least school-year busyness is part of a routine. Summer busyness has no routine. It is akin to flat-out chaos. Family Camp one week. Ty at Trailblazer Camp the next week. Ty at Panther Basketball Academy and Anne at Young Teen Camp this week. Me helping with Panther Academy. Mike working. Me working. Ty playing baseball two and three nights a week. Me trying to figure out how and when to exercise, clean house, cook, and do laundry. Don’t get me wrong, it is fun. But it is tiring to be out of the routine that is the other nine months of the year.

With both the kids at camp this week, I have had a couple of people comment on the fact that I am “kidless” for the week, and what was I going to do with my time. And while alone time is nice occasionally, I miss them something terrible when they are gone. I was almost in tears of joy just to have Ty sleeping on the floor of my office this afternoon, knowing he was with me and not somewhere else under the care of someone else. And then that made me miss Anne. And she won’t be home for a couple of more days.

There was a time before kids. There was a time when I had a life outside of my kids. There was a time when I enjoyed that independence and ability to do whatever, whenever.

But there’s no going back to that time. And I wouldn’t want to. I love my kids. I love being with them. I love having fun with them. I love teaching them. I even love the hard moments with them, because that means there is growth happening (probably on my part as much as theirs).

So, I am now going to finish this post so I can go snuggle up with my boy. 🙂