We all joined this forum because we're suicideal, yet we manage to give others love, advice and friendship when they need it, you more than most and we love you for it.

It's strange and I'm not sure how any of us do it. I know there's a famous quote about giving out great advice because you wouldn't know what else to do with it (hence not being able to use it ourselves).
Funny and sad but true. I often think I give out amazing advice - shame I can't take it for myself.
You're great Bill and you are worth the energy. I am certainly not going to start ignoring you, I'll bug you forever! :hug:

One step forward, two steps back, kinda goes with the territory with depression.

I think you'll feel more positive again soon. I always feel like I've made no progress when I have a bad day, but when you feel better you know it was the depression talking, the black and white thinking.

I think when you develop a pattern of feeling suicidal and then better, then round again, it's quite a hard pattern to break.

It doesn't mean when you're feeling positive that you're a hypocrite, it's just the old cycle at work, making you see everything through shit-coloured specs.

Not sure I've expressed this too well but hope you know what I mean!

Carry on with the positivity on the board, you really made me laugh with that confused hug stuff the other day

Bill!!!!! (Grabs him squarely by the shoulders and shakes him til his eyes start rolling). Please quit :whack: yourself up. You know I'll gladly do it for you :tongue: Beisdes oo: and you arent the type to let it keep you down. Okay, okay I'll let you have 5 minutes of :cry: and then get right back up on that :horse2: and give the depression a good :bottom: If anyone here can it's you Tigger! :arms:

Bill!!!!! (Grabs him squarely by the shoulders and shakes him til his eyes start rolling). Please quit :whack: yourself up. You know I'll gladly do it for you :tongue: Beisdes oo: and you arent the type to let it keep you down. Okay, okay I'll let you have 5 minutes of :cry: and then get right back up on that :horse2: and give the depression a good :bottom: If anyone here can it's you Tigger! :arms:

You are such a rock here but you need to reach out for help as well. No one can do it on their own. I am glad you posted and know we appreciate everything you do. and we will never judge you or anyone when they need help

This forum and the people in it are no more your responsibility than they are anyone elses'. This is a peer to peer support forum... we are ALL allowed to feel crap and if we're feeling ok and can give support to others then that's the bonus. But no one is obliged to feel ok all the time, not even the staff! Try to stop giving yourself such a hard time.