Ian McKinley returned home to Leinster with Treviso last weekend.
Photograph: Sheridan/Rex/Shutterstock

There are few more terrifying places to be on a rugby pitch than trapped helplessly at the bottom of a ruck at the mercy of heavy, studded boots. That is where the 19-year-old Leinster player Ian McKinley found himself while representing his club, University College Dublin, against Lansdowne in 2010. The out-half was competing at a ruck and wrestling for the ball when he momentarily found himself on his back. For a split second he was unprotected and then he felt cold metal studs come directly down on his eyeball.

His first reaction was anger, not pain. He immediately rose and started swinging punches, seeking the perpetrator who he thought had deliberately tried to hurt him. A physio was called from the sideline, took one look at his left eye and went white.

“I remember thinking immediately, that’s a disgusting thing to do on the pitch. I was convinced it was deliberate from an opponent as I could faintly hear someone saying ‘watch out Ian’ on the sideline. It turns out it was a team-mate who had done it accidentally, being fairly clumsy. I was operated on that night in Dublin’s Eye and Ear Hospital in an operation that took three or four hours. I then went home, sat with a patch and barely moved for a month.”

McKinley was aware that there would be some complications with his damaged left eye. Over a period of six months, he regained a maximum 70% vision within his injured eye and came back to make his Leinster debut in 2011 against Treviso. Despite lacking the full periphery vision that an out-half relies on, he was voted man of the match that day. He made six appearances for Leinster and continued to play club rugby, suffering two eye-gouging incidents on his other eye.

At the end of the season, McKinley was enjoying a weekend with friends in Galway when he stopped at a traffic light. “One minute I could see the traffic light in my left eye, then it was completely gone. My retina had detached. They tried everything to save it. The operation is the worst pain I had ever experienced, as they’ve got to go right to the back of your eye socket. After that, my playing career was over.”

In Dublin, the rugby community is fraternal but it can also be suffocating. McKinley knew his career was over and couldn’t watch a live game. He tried to find solace by spending time with his friends but most of them were professional players and their work dominated conversation. At the worst time in his life, Leinster were there for him, gently asking if there was anything they could do to help. The players collected money to send him and his girlfriend on holiday and they organised a surprise birthday party for him. They then asked him to help coach junior teams and he found he was talented at it, even if it could never replicate playing.

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Walking through a Dublin shopping centre McKinley received a phone call from a Leinster official that would change his life once again. “I was asked did I fancy coaching in a town in Italy called Udine. I felt I had nothing to lose. I was getting frustrated in Dublin with so many memories of playing and knew a change would be the best possible thing for me and my girlfriend to experience something completely different.”

McKinley and his now fiancée arrived in Udine with no Italian and faced a bumpy beginning. Asked to coach youth and adult teams without a basic grasp of the language, he struggled. He found himself frustrated at his life. Sitting in a small Italian town near the Slovenian border, he imagined wearing the No10 jersey of Leinster playing in front of his friends and family in Dublin. His older brother Phillip flew over to visit in April 2013 and was concerned about his mood.

“I never had any intention of playing again, how could I? I didn’t put myself on any registration lists. But my brother came over to see me and I was just filled with upset and anger. My brother was incredible. He just figured it out. He returned to Ireland, went to the National College Art and Design and found a guy who was doing his final year project. He told him he wanted him to develop a set of protective rugby goggles to get me back playing. He was in the middle of his last final year project but he dropped that and had eight weeks to complete the goggles.”

That student’s name was Johnny Merrigan and his university project got McKinley back on to the pitch. The first steps were tentative, his first games were for Leonorso rugby club, deeply social and low standard rugby that suited the former Leinster out-half just fine. He was finally back playing the sport he loved. The goggles took some getting used to – they fell out during his first game – but, crucially, they gave him protection and peace of mind.

Ian McKinley in action for Treviso in the Guinness PRO12. Photograph: Sheridan/INPHO/Rex/Shutterstock

Within a year of playing, McKinley picked up an agent who secured him a deal to play for Viadana, a former giant of Italian rugby that had fallen on harder times. In his first year at the club McKinley was made vice-captain; in his second he was made captain and played some of the best rugby of his career, earning him a move to Treviso this summer and the chance to play Pro12 and European rugby.

“It’s been incredible when you think the periods of times involved since losing the sight in my left eye. I have had to work on so many things. I kick differently, I catch differently, but a lot of it is playing on instinct and working hard to perfect things. You adjust your game to the limitations that you have and work hard on the things you do have.”

After the gouging incidents that blighted his first comeback to the club game in Dublin, McKinley could be forgiven for fearing for his eyesight in an intensely physical game. He plays in a position where physical punishment is an industrial hazard but he insists that it has always been hard but extremely fair in Italy.

“This is something that has surprised me – I have had absolutely nothing happen to me in terms of interfering with my eyes. People here I play against have great respect for what has happened. If anything I’ve had the odd player who has been scared that they’ve accidentally done something to the eye. We’ll see, it wasn’t pleasant that it happened in those club games in Dublin, but hopefully that will never happen again.”

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Last Friday night McKinley returned to the RDS Arena to play against Leinster, this time as a Treviso player. The stands were filled with his family and friends. McKinley’s return to the highest level was made possible by the support he received at his darkest moments. The home crowd gave him a warm reception, happy to have him back playing in Dublin once again, even in the opposition’s colours.

McKinley’s protective goggles are made in Italy and used by hundreds of players around the world. He receives letters from adults and children who have been able to return to play the game they love, feeling safe and secure. “In my mind, rugby is a game for everyone – it’s a game for all shapes and all sizes – and I wanted people to know that just because you are different then you can still continue to play the game you love.”

In January, McKinley will become eligible to play for Italy. He understands that he must play a great deal of rugby before he dreams of playing internationals in Rome but until then he will play the way he wants to: fearlessly committed and playing each game as if it is his last.