My life in dreams

This past week my husband and I were so busy tending to family members who are very ill and his upcoming deployment.

We are very exhausted to say the least. Not to mention that I still have three weeks left of school and housework that needs to be completed.

I am so thankful that my husband at least was able to stay for a few more days so we can get through this together. I am also thankful that no tragedies have occurred as of yet. All I can say is that something or someone must be looking after us.

I can take a few things from all of this, like how fast time goes by and how fragile life is. It is really important that we do not take everything so seriously and look at everything with a sense of humor. You really never know what could happen and when it could happen.

I often say that we usually miss the point of why we are all here. We use our time and energy on acquiring material things, prestige, money, etc…

We tend to let ourselves get in the way, and at times all we do is think about ourselves and our needs. Every once in a while it is good to stop, breathe, and think about those around you. Selfishness leads to loneliness. You become a people repellent.

It is also important to mend relationships, appreciate others, be thankful, patient, and try to stay away from drama.

I know it is hard at times to steer clear of the mess that drama brings and I am also constantly working on this. But we have to remember that the old rules still apply today: if you want to be respected, show respect. If you want to be treated kindly, be kind. If you want people to apologize, then learn to apologize and recognize when you are wrong.

You cannot go through life expecting everything to be handed to you and for people to bow down at your presence. Especially when you are not willing to do the work and give of yourself. Also, do not take out on others your misfortunes. We all have them, and some people out there are worse off than you.

Try not to judge others or pretend you know what happens in other people’s lives. Again, the old rule applies: There is always two sides and sometimes three sides to a story. Therefore, placing blame on others or assuming you know how things are in other people’s lives will only bring more hostility into your life. The only people who know what really is going on are those that are living in the situation themselves.

When life gives you a second chance, take it and use this opportunity to the fullest. At the same time do not let pride get in the way. It is ok to ask and be willing to accept help. Sometimes too much pride can actually hurt you.

Lastly, jealousy is normal and it happens to the better of us. But you cannot let it control who you are and you certainly should not bring down the person you are jealous towards. Acting this way will get you to a place you really will enjoy: nowhere. Stop worrying about what others are doing and focus on what you are doing. Trust me, you will get further this way.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post, and please feel free to comment.

The weather here in VA is amazing thus far. Even on the “coldest” of days you can manage to go out with a simple jacket or sweatshirt. The sun has been so bright and all I want to do is go outside.

Things for me are not as sunny though. Things could be better, but I also know they can be worse. Last night, after what was to me a very stressful day, I prayed before going to bed. I prayed to God for a sign that everything was going to be o.k., for inspiration on what to do, and of course for much-needed faith. Faith that I have not had for a long time. I will admit that I have not prayed like this in a very, very, long time.

I was just so stressed, angry, and full of anxiety, that there was nothing else I could think of to relieve the pain but to pray. I prayed until I fell asleep.

Then, this morning my husband and I got up early to run some errands. On our way to our first appointment, my husband stopped the car. I looked up at my husband in a confused way not understanding what was going on. I said to him: “Why did we stop?”. He replied: “Look! There is a duck with her ducklings crossing the street”. I could not believe my eyes. Our apartment complex, and everything else near me, is near an interstate highway. Not the place where you would be looking for ducks. Sure enough there was a mama duck with her little ducklings following her all over the road. I was astonished! It was the sight that I needed to bring me hope and much-needed peace. How can you frown at this sight????

We shot a video of the ducklings, but I am not able to share the video on here. Below is a picture to resemble what I saw:

NATURE is resilient and determined. That is the sign that I needed. I have gone through much worse in my life time. This little obstacle that is happening to me right now will pass. As the matter of fact, all of my “problems” are not even worth thinking about or important.

Here is a common duck trying to keep her offspring alive in a paved paradise. She is leading the way to food perhaps, but most of all she is keeping them ALIVE. She probably should had paid attention to the street signs before crossing…Hello, they are everywhere! But all joking aside, she is doing what she knows how to do with what she has. That is what is important…I can only do what I know how to do and with what I got. It is not going to be perfect or right each time. I should be grateful just for the mere fact that I am living…that we are all living! No money, house, materialistic nonsense, is as important as life itself, and I needed God’s sign through NATURE to prove me that. I am still breathing and very much capable of surviving this and anything else!

I am a U.S. Navy housewife. Sometimes I ponder, “How on earth that I get here?” I went to college, had a job in the financial services industry and had my place by the beach. Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband and I have gotten used to my life and my husband’s career. I would not trade it for anything !!!! I knew the advantages and disadvantages of being a military spouse. I know there are many other bloggers that are in the same circumstance as I am. For those of you that do not know, it is a big sacrifice for spouses and partners as well. It is an honor to support my husband in his career. However, there are times where I do not look forward to the Navy protocol or way of life.

Let’s start with the constant moving every three years or so. There are times when you know exactly where you are going, and then there are times where orders get screwed up. You may wind up in the state you knew you were going to, but not the city. Sometimes you can wind up in another state completely and all plans have to be re-done. I do like moving, I just don’t like the last-minute changes and the actual packing and unpacking 🙂

Let me not forget the dreaded deployment that most service men and women must undertake. For the Navy wife this could mean 6 months to 1 year of not seeing your spouse. You may or may not be near relatives, as he or she may be stationed in a state that is not familiar to you. You will need the strength of Hercules, the emotions of a crocodile and the determination of a lion to survive alone. You will have to get out there and meet new friends, attend doctors’ appointments alone, tend to the children and manage the household all by your self. There are times when no one will be around to lend you a hand, and there will be times when you will not be in contact with your spouse. Therefore, you have to be creative, resilient and very independent.

Then there is the employment search. Military spouses have a far more greater challenge that just finding a job, it is also finding a career that can move with you. There are companies out there that have sites in other states and they may grant you a transfer. However, these days you would need to apply for another position in another state, and pray that you get chosen so that you can remain with the same company. If the company you are with does not operate in other states, then each time you move you will need to apply to a different place of employment. Therefore, some of us have to take a job that is not too serious or with too much commitment, as we know we are destined to be leaving sooner than later. It is important that we do our research and not just choose a job for the sake of having a job in this economy; we also need to ensure that the job is military spouse friendly. What does that mean?

1. The company must be reasonable and understand that if your spouse has orders to transfer to another state, they must allow you to resign and dismiss any contracts you may have with such company.

2. If you are the one with orders, the company must ensure that while you are away serving our country, they must have a position for you when you get back from your duties.

3. Military friendly companies hire military spouses and such, to use them as temps and temp to hire. This way they do not have to pay a temp agency to find them employees. Instead, they can hire military spouses without having to pay huge finders fees and still used them as temps. It is Win Win for all !!!

4. The company has a contract with a department of the military to provide services, and as such it provides jobs to military members and their families.

There are many other meanings of what a military friendly company is and what it provides, but I wanted to give you an overview.

So besides the constant moving, the constant job search and the possibility that your husband may get deployed, there is the DRAMA. Yes! There is a lot of drama when your life revolves around the military. Not the kind that you act out in plays and motion pictures, but the kind that is REAL. There is my least favorite of all: family drama. Then there is money drama, spouse drama and many others. This can take a heavy toll emotionally, financially and health wise to any person. Family drama is the worse for me because is the one that I have been dealing with for the past three years, and it is the one that takes an emotional toll on a person. If you are emotionally drained and exhausted, it makes it more difficult for you to be able to cope with the loneliness, the hardships, and the day-to-day issues that arise in your household; especially if you are living in a military household. It took me a while to get over how many people simply do not understand what it takes to be in the military, yet alone a spouse to someone serving our country. If there is one thing that has always helped me is patience. If you are a military spouse you will need a lot of PATIENCE to deal with family members, your own family and the world. People simply don’t get it and they are only used to what they watch on T.V., or the stories grandpa tells them from WWII. The reality is that I did not even know all the details of what it takes to be a military spouse until I became a Navy wife.

On a side note, this is my last year in PA. We get to choose our next location soon. It is a temporary location, as the Navy may change these orders and we actually won’t know for sure until we are packing those tan/brown moving boxes again! My husband will be preparing to go on a deployment. Time to start preparing for this difficult time.

This post is dedicated to all the military spouses out there. May God bless us all!!!!

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We all have drama. It seems that it’s a rite of passage for all humans. No one is perfect and no one is completely FREE of disputes, especially the family kind.

I used to be extremely sensitive and took everything to heart. The term too serious, stick in the mud, too passionate, irrational and self-righteous applied to me. When I met my husband it was like a new door opened for me. I not only grew as a person, but I became much more relaxed and I have learned to see life like a really funny comedy. I know there will be serious moments in it, but there is nothing wrong with letting my hair down and relaxing. I used to take everything so personal, that I was not enjoying my life and I felt like I was swimming in a bowl of negativity. My husband had a lot to do with my transformation, but I think it’s also an understanding that there is only so much that one can do as an individual. Somethings are going to be what they are, and there is nothing we can do to change them. It’s good to let go and accept that only you can change your environment. If you wait for people to change to accommodate your feelings, you will be miserable for a long time. Don’t get me wrong I am still a work in progress, but I have also accepted that I am who I am. It is good that I have learned to not be so intense and emotional all the time.

The other day my husband and I talked about our childhoods and our relationships with our families. We both had rather rough childhoods and our relationships with our parents haven’t always been the easiest ones. However, my husband gave me some advice that really helped me understand why my relationship with my parents is the way it is. I currently have a good relationship with my parents, but there were certain things that I had a problem accepting. I am glad I talked them over with my husband, because he is a third-party and its good to get his point of view. After speaking about my grievances, he validated a lot of my feelings and on some of these he gave me an interesting perspective. I really felt liberated and this is what I came up with after our discussion:

When the veil is lifted from your eyes and you experience a true revelation about your life, your past, yourself as person, or those around you; sadness passes you by. This feeling is quickly replaced by a strong feeling of relief that you are now awakened by the REAL truth. This TRUTH and revelation will liberate you and set you free from years of therapy. You are now in the light and at peace with the honest truth, no matter how hard it may be to hear at first. Only the REAL TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE. That is one of the steps to true transformation.

The day that we had our discussion, I really came to terms with some really disturbing but real feelings that I had ignored. After I realized and accepted this reality, I really felt that I may not had always been treated correctly, and somethings I cannot change. However, I can try to not make the same mistakes. I can only change and work on myself to better ME. At the end of the day, the only person that is going to love me and understand me like I want to, is myself.