“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”

―

William Jennings Bryan

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So. Time and destiny. Two things I am relatively sure 100% of people care about. Here is the tricky thing (tricky part Part 1) about time & destiny — they are not constant companions and friends. They are actually like two ships meeting in the night. Which leads me to Kairos.

I first saw it in a quirky little book called “The Elegance of the Hedgehog”. Kairos is an ancient Greek word meaning the right or opportune moment or ‘the supreme moment’.

The Greeks believed the concept of Kairos is achieved when an opportune moment is actually grasped. Think about that a second. The corollary to that thought is a belief that if you do not grasp the moment … well … the moment is gone and cannot be re-captured.

Here is tricky part Part 2. According to ancient Greeks, Kairos was the god of the “fleeting moment.”

Oh shit.

So not only do you have to figure out how to grasp this moment where time and destiny met but you have to do something in that moment because, well, it is fleeting.

I say ‘oh shit’ but I would guess almost everyone reading this will sit back and think of fleeting moments gone by. We all have them. In Life & in business.

Life is actually a little easier for this Kairos thing because mostly it is just us and if we aren’t completely oblivious to everything going on around us we have a fairly good chance to recognize a time & destiny moment. Then we just have to “perform” or take advantage of that moment (but that is a different discussion).

Business is tougher. It is tougher because it is not just you.

First you have a bunch of managers who most likely are just crappy managers constantly creating false sense of urgency over non-urgent things which means should a Kairos moment occur there will be a blur of meaningless activity creating a curtain between you and Time & Destiny.

Second you are not always the “one” who can actually be empowered to do something when Time & Destiny meet. I cannot tell you how many times I was in a room when I felt Time & Destiny meet and I was not in a position to actually do something. I imagine I point this out because it decreases the windows of opportunities so if you sense a Kairos moment you better get your ass in gear.

Now. Interestingly the ancient Greeks had two words for time, chronos and kairos. While chronos is quantitative, kairos has a qualitative nature. I mention that because while we in the business world love plans, planning, formulas, milestones and almost anything you can think of to identify “critical moments”, Kairos is qualitative.This means it has its own timeline, milestone & plan. Qualitative Time means unscheduled, unplanned &, well, suffice it to say you better be able to handle uncertainty. Kairos means you seize the fleeting moment.

It is not easy. And it is not for the faint of heart.

Anyway. Kairos is the ability to adapt to and take advantage of changing circumstances. It is used with people “who manage well the circumstances which they encounter day by day, and who possess a judgment which is accurate in meeting occasions as they arise and rarely misses the expedient course of action”.

<note: Napoleon is a poster child for Kairos>

I have written a variety of things about great leaders and leadership. If I had known this word I would have used it.

As things shift around leaders there appears that undetermined amount of time in-between what is and what will be in which something truly special can occur. It is those who recognize the moment and act upon it … before it disappears … that achieve Kairos.

I have also said this before. I do not believe this can be taught. As the Greeks suggest, it is qualitative in its nature. You either have this ability or you don’t. Some people know this, and see this, and can actually act upon this. But not everyone can.

Kairos.

Awesome word.

Awesome concept.

I will say one thing about “fleeting moments.

As Mr. Magorium suggested … “37 seconds well used is a lifetime.”

If you handle Kairos well, well, I can almost guarantee you that in that moment you will be infinite because when time & destiny meet, and you meet that moment well, it creates velocity and direction simultaneously.

Refugees from that brave new world you have over there. Pilgrims in search of your Mecca … only you have no Mecca.

You’ve rejected one world and can’t quite smuggle your way into another so you wander like lost souls among all the libraries, museums, palaces and cathedrals of Europe … never quite seeing or catching hold of anything that lies outside those musty, but god knows elegant, interiors. It’s called ‘finding oneself’ I believe … as if a self can exist at the end of some tourist’s itinerary like a pot of gold.

Yet it’s kind of a fear isn’t it? A fear of Life.”

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Celestial chess

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“I have a deep fear of being too much.

That one day I will find my someone, and they will realize that I ama hurricane.

That they will step back and be intimidatedby my muchness. “

=

Michelle K.

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So. Muchness. Muchness is what resides within each one of us. The problem is Life, in general, encourage us to exhibit, well, much less. Therefore we seem to spend a lot of time in the wretched hollow between our muchness and what we believe the world can accept of our muchness. In other words, we are always seek to constrict not expand.

Oddly this creates a lot of self reflection. A lot of “who am I”, finding onself and defining what is the right level of public muchness. We search as in “as if a self can exist at the end of some tourist’s itinerary like a pot of gold.”Far too often finding one’s muchness, paradoxically, seems a lot like stagnancy. There may seem like a lot of movement in that you may be moving around a lot <going places, visiting libraries, museums, palaces and cathedrals of Europe>, but in actuality, you are stagnant … personally.

All the movement appears to be some kind of search within oneself, but you are doing it by seeking ‘out-of-self’ things. Worse? Your self search often gets judged by what cues the ‘out-of-self- things provide you. Its almost like the search makes you a refugee from yourself. You invest energy not on progress but rather in searching backwards or ‘within’ <by viewing within the past for insights> to find ‘something.’

Well. This all seems crazy to me. Seems like maybe by the time you finish your search the rest of the world has moved on by. I would suggest time may be better served by something in which typical ‘finding oneself’ discussions do not appear to encompass — the word ‘disturbing.’ As in maybe ‘disturbing oneself.’ As in disturbing the universe. Kind of like shaking the personal etch a sketch a bit and in doing so be willing to shake the societal status quo of “what you should expect” etch a sketch..

By the way, to me, the fact ‘disturbing’ rarely is included in any ‘finding oneself’ discussion is crazy. Mostly because emotion is the energy for change and I would argue emotion is the engine for muchness.

Ok. What the hell am I talking about? The roots of disturb is the latin word – Emovere.

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<latin> emovere: to disturb

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Emotion literally means disturbance. The word emotion comes from the Latin emovere meaning “to disturb.” Therefore, emovere can be seen as a version of how we find ourselves. A combination of emotion & disturb is the creation of one’s muchness.

Look. Disturb may sound, well, disturbing or maybe a little extreme but, what the hell, you spend gobs of energy going out and about having rejected one world and can’t quite smuggle your way into another so you wander like lost souls.

The whole idea of ‘finding oneself’ all with the overall intent to seek opportunities to find out about ourselves and discover your muchness, i.e., what we are made up of and what we can be.

Disturbing, at its core, is about shifting shit so that opportunities can be uncovered.

This leads me to a guy named Pittacus … one of the Seven Sages of Greece. While each of the seven sages was supposed to represent an edict of worldly knowledge <Solon of Athens was actually “know thyself”> it was Pittacus who proposed ‘you should know which opportunities to choose.’

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Other Pittacus Quotes

“It is hard to be good”

“Know when to act”

“Seize Time by the forelock.”

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Disturbing is the energy which creates opportunities <not wandering the world of libraries and museums> and then … well … you gotta know which opportunities to choose.

Shit. No wonder we decide to try and find oneself by wandering the world, it sounds a shitload easier than disturbing, recognizing opportunities, than actually knowing which opportunities to choose. In fact all that sure sounds like there is lots of room for errors or missed opportunities are even a lot of bad choices.

Well. That’s the deal if you want to find yourself and let the world see your muchness.

It ain’t easy. And there is a lot of room for mistakes and bad choices. You gotta keep your eye on the prize.

Now. ‘Muchness’ is a great thing for you … uhm … but can be scary for others around you.

However. Not everyone, in fact, I would suggest the majority of us never discover our maximum muchness. Most of us just find crumbs of our muchness <and are quite satisfied>.

Some of us just get a bite or two of our muchness <and that is even more satisfying>. And then there are the few who actually find ‘oneself’ and all their muchness. Which leads me back to where I opended today:

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“I have a deep fear of being too much.

That one day I will find my someone, and they will realize that I ama hurricane. That they will step back and be intimidatedby my muchness. “

—————–

Well. This makes me think that maybe the reason most of us go about finding ourselves the wrong way is because most of us fear becoming the hurricane we could be. Muchness is scary. Muchness is not only a little scary to ourselves but absolutely can be intimidating to others. Hence … “you can be a little too much on occasion.” Frankly, this is where it gets tricky. When you hear that you naturally pull in your muchness. Which is a little nuts. Nuts because YOU can handle your muchness its OTHERS who cannot – its their issue and not yours.

Anyway.

I imagine my real point in all of this is that while finding oneself is not easy once you embrace your muchness it gets difficult.Here’s what I do know.

Let’s be honest. Most of us, even if we are really lucky, will only find crumbs of our muchness. Yup, even if we do most of the formula right … just crumbs. And that is manageable. And while crumbs sounds … well … crummy. It’s not. They represent glimpses of our greatness. The muchness inside us is the best of our best … the best version of I … the greatness within.

And even if we only get a glimpse of it? Well. In the immortal words of the coach in the movie The Replacements:

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“Greatness, no matter how brief, stays with you forever.”

Gene Hackman <the replacements>

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Finding oneself truly has to be done with some intent of finding some greatness <I mean, c’mon, why else would we invest energy doing it?>. It’s all about finding whatever glimpse of greatness, of muchness, we have within us <and most everyone has at least a glimpse>. And why wouldn’t we seek to find ‘oneself’ the right way?

Fear.

The opening quote suggested ‘a fear of Life.’ Well. I would suggest it would be more ‘a fear of Muchness’.

Regardless.

Suffice it to say that Self, or our’ muchness’, does not exist at the end of some tourist’s itinerary like a pot of gold. And that said … remember … if you truly desire to ‘find yourself’ don’t head out like a pilgrim in search of your mecca just think one word – emovere.

In other words … Disturb.

Disturb your world and your universe and watch for the opportunities and don’t fear your muchness and, mos importantly, don’t let the outside world’s fear of your muchmness make you make your much a lesser version of what it can be.

Embrace your muchness and disturb the universe. I could think of worse advice.

I usually open with a quote but because today is JRR Tolkien’s birthday this entire piece is dedicated to Tolkien quotes <with Bruce thoughts>.

I have been a JRR Tolkien and Lord of the Rings/Hobbit fan since grade school when one ambitious teacher read us The Hobbit during reading time <in whatever grade someone has reading time>. I was fascinated by the battles and the drama and the cast of characters. My imagination went wild with the possibilities and I would guess The Hobbit was the first “adult” book I picked up and read on my own when I was old enough.

Looking back … I guess I have always found joy in the metaphorical aspect of all the Tolkien books <and loved drawing the correlations>. But it was The Hobbit that originally tweaked that understanding and began my love of words and framing of words. It was this book that opened the door in my mind where I understood books were not just words but thoughts.

And I could probably blame Tolkien for my sense of imagination and some of the ways I view things in Life & business.

Anyway.

What I really value is that he made me realize good authors/writers didn’t just write things down in some willy nilly fashion. He made me realize authors wrote with a thought <not just some story>. And that it was a mistake to take the words at face value but rather it was worth taking some time to understand the meaning behind the words … the messages and the lessons to be learned.

In the beginning, my impressionable youth, it probably took me a number of years to begin breaking down the metaphors into distinct conceptual quotes and truly understanding the genius of Tolkien <and, I imagine, I am still a work in progress>.

Ok. Enough of that.

As with any well written fantasy book the Lord of the Rings is strewn with a number of great quotes and soundbite thoughts. Really thoughtful thoughts. Not “elvin” thoughts or thoughts using some wacky made up language or simply unrealistic fantasy-like thoughts … but thoughts about Life.

Here you go:

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“Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.”

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Gandalf

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This thought is huge.

And not all people may buy it mostly because it is always difficult to believe that good people shouldn’t have the opportunity to fulfill their potential “good” destiny. And it becomes even more difficult when you observe obviously ‘not good’ people living a long life dispensing ‘not good things’ as freely as loose cards from a dozen decks of cards. But. It is too simplistic to suggest the bad deserve to die and the good deserve to live. Because, frankly, life isn’t all good nor is it all bad.

Anyway.

I guess the bigger thought here is that we judge people ‘as is’ <or as they are>and estimate ‘what will be <or what could be> and .. well … judge.

You can’t.

Sorry.

But you can’t.

Even the best of hearts can be cracked by life. Even the worst of souls can find redemption.

Regardless.

Gandalf reminds us we shouldn’t be too eager to use death in judgment for bad .. or good. Why? Because, whether we like it or not … “not good” people serve a role in life. One big role is that it is in the conflict between good people and bad people therein lies the growth of “what should be.”

Think about it.

In those who live, that deserve death, we see vivid demonstrations to remind us of “what shouldn’t be.” And in those who die, who seemingly deserved life because of goodness, it is a harsh reminder that those of us remaining have a responsibility to uphold that “which should be.”

Here is what I know. No matter how wise I may become … I cannot see all ends.

And I certainly cannot judge who deserves death and who doesn’t (no matter how much I would like to).

And I think it is either silly, or selfish, to dwell on ‘what could have been’ even with who may be seemingly the best of the best.

In the end?

Try not to judge people. And judge your own life by what you are doing … because you cannot see the end. The end arrives … well … when it wants to arrive not when we choose.

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“It is not your own Shire. Others dwelt here before hobbits were, and others will dwell here again when hobbits are no more. The wide world is not all about you: you can fence yourselves in, but you cannot for ever fence it out.”

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Gildor Inglorion

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The big thought: “The world is not all about you.”

Wow.

If the Shire were America, and Gildor shared this thought, could you see the ole twittersphere lighting up like a roman candle?

Ignorance is a fence. And isolationism is living within that fence. That is fencing yourself from the unknown.

I won’t suggest it’s out of fear or any number of actually good reasons … but rather just say isolating yourself <personally or as a country) is never good.

Anyway.

I think the bigger thought here is that we need to always remind ourselves that we today represent a past .. and that we are probably a blip in history <or what will be>.

I guess the reason why this quote resonates with me today is that Americans are REALLY focused on what is seemingly “our problems” and what is happening now.

And I guess they should be but this quote is a reminder that all in which we live in should have some perspective. What happens in our community is important … but it is simply one cog in the bigger global wheel.

Bottom line?

Yeah. What you & your community is facing is important. And needs to be dealt with. But burying your head in your own community means losing sight of the forest. And the issues that reside in the forest. And, frankly, the things the forest can bring to bear against your own little tree in the woods.

The cycle of time brings an end to everything … only to bring a beginning to another. You may as well step beyond your own shire at some point. And that’s not about being adventurous … that is simply about living life.

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“Don’t adventures ever have an end? I suppose not. Someone else always has to carry on the story.”

–

Bilbo

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Adventures are fun to write about. Especially when you talk about beginning or end.

Because … well … in my eyes … true adventures never do end. I could have included another thought … “in each end there is a beginning, and each beginning there is an end.”

A truth.

Life is an adventure. Or a series of adventures <that is if you elect to look at it this way>. Peoples’ lives end but life doesn’t. Someone is always there to carry on.

Think about it.

Someone is always an extension of the past. No one is totally new.

Your own adventure is simply something you have found a passion for that exists and you are carrying it on from someone else … for someone else to pick up again one day and carry it on.

We are all just a chapter in a bigger story.

Never lose sight of that fact.

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“all that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.”

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ancient verses of Elvish prophecy

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This is one of my favorite quotes of all time. And it is probably my most used. While many use the first couplet I like the entire stanza.

Part A. “not all those who wander are lost.”

Maybe because it seems a reflection of me … maybe it’s because I think it is a reflection of a lot of people … but I use this time and time again when teaching some high school classes and talk with students about their future and making plans and knowing what the hell they are going to do with their lives.

I have written about this thought ad nausea but the truth is that not everyone knows their “destination.”

Particularly in youth.

It takes time to figure out not only what you are good at but what makes you happy <which may not be the same thing> as well as what feeds your life vitality <the shit that makes waking up every morning fun>.

People wander. Ok. Not all do … but those who do tend to be some pretty interesting people (not necessarily the most successful … but interesting).

I often use a clip from the old tv show Felicity to make this point called “ben’s big mom speech” … and yes … I actually use a clip from Felicity to make a point.

Ben:

“I’d like to think that people take a good look at me before they make up their minds… He’s this guy, he doesn’t know what he wants to be yet, and he doesn’t have a major yet, he’s got his dad as this dark character … has a drinking problem.

I’m not really selling myself here, am I? … Look I understand why you guys needed to see Felicity with someone like Noel… I mean, he’s obviously gonna make it. And probably long before, I mean, I figure out what I ‘m gonna be in my life. But I always remember this one thing my teacher said, which was, all these people she knew they had no idea what they were gonna do with their lives when they were twenty. So, chances are, I’m gonna turn out to be a pretty interesting guy.

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It’s a great clip.

And says what many of us at that age felt … even though we were still wandering. What do I mean? Well. The wanderer usually feels like there is something wrong with themselves (and adults are typically fairly quick to suggest just that). I imagine the danger is in defending yourself you stop seeking a destination and revel in the seeming rebellion of wandering.

Regardless.

Wandering doesn’t mean you are lost. You may simply be discovering. And all that discovery is needed to make whatever gold you have in you shine. Time just needs to buff away the dullness a little.

Part B … “deep roots are not reached by frost.”

Well.

As I have grown older I have grown a larger appreciation for this part. The first couplet is brilliantly crafted but inevitably I believe the genius of Tolkien was putting the two couplets together.

For the deep roots are found in your soul. This is that life vitality stuff I talk about a lot.

Deep roots is the shit you care about. Your passion. Your soul. The kind of stuff that no matter how much someone may challenge or try to make sound silly … well … they are your deep roots.

Here is the tricky part.

I think deep roots takes time. And I don’t mean cultural roots or family roots … I mean personal roots.

Unfortunately <as I tell young people> you don’t get deep <healthy> roots until you are older. A young person may have an old soul … but only life experience creates deep roots.

But.

It’s worth the wait. Because even in the coldest and darkest of time … deep roots can never be touched by frost. Which means they will grow again.

Ok.

My last Tolkien saying in part 2 … it seemed appropriate to end with this one.

I am a self-anointed nomad.

I am most happy when home is simply where I hang my hat for the moment. And sometimes that is a difficult thing to explain to people because it seems like the majority like the comfort of home … and the stability that comes with it. I find homes confining. I find settling constricting. I find comfort in roaming. I find the unknown freeing.

With that said … roaming and leaving places always reminds me of this Tolkien stanza:

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“The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Still round the corner there may wait,

A new road or a secret gate.”

—

Elvish verse

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To me <and I know I am in the minority on this> Life is all about “still around the corner there may wait a new road or a secret gate.” I thrive in the fact that we don’t really know how each day will unfold. The fact that every day something will happen. And every day somethings we expect and somethings we don’t will happen.

And, to me, that’s what makes Life interesting. What you cannot see around the corner.

That new road. Or that secret gate. The unknown.

To me each step in life is driven on by curiosity and the joy of discovery. And then not settling with that discovery but rather pocketing it as a new experience and immediately stepping back out on the road seeking the next gate, door or errand …. ‘pursuing it with eager feet’ as it may be.

Look.

I don’t lie to myself and believe everyone feels this way. In fact … I am fairly sure not everyone does. But I do talk about it as often as I can. Because everyone should at least try it once in a while.

Ok.

That’s it.

These are just some of my favorite quotable moments but all his books are chockfull of thoughtful literary moments.

I will end where I began. Tolkien taught me there were thoughts behind thoughts & words behind words.

Books are not just meant to be read but savored thought by thought.

Read Tolkien.

Read any literature.

Whatever.

What I know for sure is if you read, and you think about what you read, you can gain perspective on things in a way you maybe have never thought of them ever before.