How to Build Relationships with Teachers: Advice from College Professors

Be respectful and make use of office hours.

Catherine Denial is the Bright Distinguished Professor of American History at Knox College in Illinois. Below she shares her top 4 tips for building relationships with your college professors.

I’ve taught college-level classes for 24 years, and built relationships with thousands of students. I know that to many of them I seemed intimidating when we first met. Students often assume I’m too important to bother with them, or too removed from their life to understand their struggles. The truth is very different. My job is to facilitate my students’ learning in every way I can, and that includes being available to talk about schoolwork and other aspects of their life. I care whether they’re hungry, or facing a housing problem, or confused about an assignment, or working with a disability. Collaboratively, my students and I discover how they learn best and where their talents and skills lie. They go off to internships, jobs, and graduate programs with letters of recommendation that they’ve thoroughly earned.

Here are four tips to help you make the most of your relationship with your professors, particularly when you’ve just met.

Be respectful in how you address them

Professors vary widely in how they like to be addressed, so pay attention on the first day of class. What does your syllabus say? What does your professor ask you to call them?

I ask my students to call me Cate, but if you’re not sure what name to use with your instructor, default to using ‘Professor.’ Even if you mean it with the greatest respect, avoid calling them Mx., Ms., or Mr. Those prefixes erase all the years your professor spent in graduate school being trained in their field and researching their dissertation to prove their expertise. This is especially important if your professor is a woman, non-binary, or trans individual of any race, or a man who is of color, black, or Indigenous. They likely faced significant obstacles—racism, sexism, cissexism, and classism—in becoming a professor, and are more likely than white men to face disrespect from students. If they ask you to call them either Professor or Dr., honor that request.

If you’re taking a class with a teaching or graduate assistant—maybe a discussion section accompanying a large lecture class, or a science lab—preface their last name with Mx., Ms., or Mr. As with professors, teaching or graduate assistants may prefer you to use another name, but don’t assume that’s the case. Respect their expertise.

Send smart emails

My students email me all the time with questions, concerns, and appointment requests. Many students don’t know how to do this well at first. They think email is like sending a text message, when in fact it’s more like sending a regular letter in the mail.

Use the subject line of your email to communicate your needs concisely. I teach more than one class at once, and particularly at the beginning of a semester, I don’t yet know everyone by name. A subject line like “Physics 101: Appointment Request” is more helpful than one that simply says “Hello.”

Start your email with a salutation. ‘Dear Professor’ works great. “Hey Janet!” doesn’t. Be formal until your professor tells you otherwise. But don’t omit a greeting altogether—that seems unprofessional and hurried, and leaves many professors thinking you don’t care about the message.

In the body of your message, be clear about your need: an appointment to talk about grades? Assignment help? Say this up front and then explain your reasons if necessary.

End your message by saying thank you, or signing off with something like “sincerely” or “my best” and your name, especially if you go by a name other than the one in your email address. This helps professors put a name with a face and remember you.

Sadly, not all professors will follow these rules when they write to you, but follow them in your emails anyway. You’ll look well prepared and attentive.

Use office hours well

My students sometimes think—particularly if they’re the first in their family to attend college, and aren’t familiar with how universities work—that my office hours are a time when I’m in my office, working, and shouldn’t be disturbed. In fact the exact opposite is true. Office hours are just for my students.

Using office hours well is a lot like writing the body of an email—know what you need, and state it as clearly as you can. Do you need clarification about a piece of homework? To talk about an upcoming exam? Advice about future careers? Tell your professor that as directly as possible. Don’t worry if you get tongue-tied or stumble over your words—it’s sometimes nerve-wracking to go see a professor. But remember, our job is to help you succeed. We’re there to clear up confusion, give you feedback, and assist you with problems.

Whether it’s by email or in person, make sure you communicate with your professor about how things are going during the semester. Often, life events get in the way of schoolwork. My students get ill; they suffer bereavements; they might have three midterms due on one day. I’m better able to help my students when they let me know their circumstances, particularly if they let me know know in advance that they’re struggling with an assignment or facing a personal problem. Remember, we’re here to help you succeed, and we need to know the situations you’re facing in order to do that. This doesn’t mean you need to spill the details of something intensely private. Just let us know that you have a situation that’s having an effect on your ability to attend class, participate, or submit work. We can help you, or we can refer you to someone else on campus who can.

Building relationships with professors is an important part of college life. Every professor is different—some are formal and distant, and some are informal and outgoing—but follow these tips and you’ll forge a great relationship with your professor no matter who they are.