A Wanker’s Literary Reaction: Wonder Woman Trailer

by thethreepennyguignol

What’s this? Thursday and no American Horror Story recap? Nope, we’ll all have to wait, because there’s another Wonder Woman trailer that needs my attention!

0:06: Ah, Gal Gadot: finally dry after having Ben Affleck dribbling all over her in Batman vs Superman. Side note, does anyone else love her voice? I could listen to her reading me the Suicide Squad script, and that’s saying something.

0:19: All these shots are just enchantingly beautiful. It’s so satisfying to see a big budget movie that didn’t piss away all it’s money on people looking moodily at each other through some fog, you know?

0:33: 10/10 keen on all of this. I can see all of this being just gorgeous on the big screen-the action, the costuming, the cinematography. It looks like real event cinema.

0:52: “The war to end all wars”. I’m a well-known slut for history, and I like the historical epic angle they seem to be pushing in this trailer; it’s a good basis of realism to set the fantastical elements of the film against. See also, The First Avenger.

0:59: Wayhey Ray Wise! He’s a stamp of approval to pretty much anything in my eyes. Well, within reason- no-one’s that big a fan of Jeepers Creepers 2, right?

1:12: Now THIS is interesting- Diana becoming involved in the war in order to stop the loss of innocent lives. It’s certainly a more sweeping and noble motivation than, like, “I did it because Viola Davis made me”. Though, in all fairness, I would do anything for that woman, so…

1:25: I like Chris Pine a lot, and not just because his fangirls are known as “Pinenuts”. He’s got a dashing old-school charm that I think will work here.

1:41: How much of this film is just bullets moving in slow motion? Judging by this trailer, I’d say at least 15%.

1:44: Fuck sake, so they’ve stuck with the thought of the sword sitting in her arse-crack.

1:54: WE HAVE LASSO RUMMY, I REPEAT, WE HAVE LASSO RUMMY!

1:58: Feminism: mostly about taking swords to the vagina, really.

2:03: I’m concerned by how gloomy and BvS-esque (try saying that with a mouthful of cough drops) these last few action shots look. Christ sake, DC studios just needs to invest in a decent set of spotlights and be done with it. I’ll fucking hold them if it means I can actually see anything that’s going on.

2:05: Uggggh, I love the Wonder Woman theme music just an outrageous amount. It’s so good and weird and distinctive.

2:17: And…a sting with Dawn from the office. Okay! Overall, I give it tickets on the day on a scale of prebook to boycott.