Green Jellÿ crash Winter’s Tavern in Pacifica

The Punk Rock Puppet Show, brought to you live by Bill Manspeaker himself, descended on Pacifica last weekend and sent unsuspecting patrons of Winters Tavern fleeing for the sake of their eardrums. In case you didn’t know … Green Jellÿ sucks!

For those who are unfamiliar with the Green Jellÿ story (actually pronounced “jello” despite the spelling difference, which stems from trademark infringement lawsuits from the name-brand jiggly treat) you might want to do a quick Google search and find out. Completely ridiculous, totally absurd, and accompanied by curious videos, Green Jellÿ is the creation of Bill Manspeaker and is described as one of the worst bands in history. But don’t worry, that’s the idea!

The show started with an empty stage and blown-out voice blaring through the microphone from the parking lot…ahem, excuse me, I mean dressing-room. “Green Jellÿ is an audience participation band! The more you act like an asshole in front of your girlfriend, the more funner it will be for all of us!!” After announcing the members of the band like at a boxing arena, which by the way are nothing more than recruited fans who can play instruments, Manspeaker took the stage in a t-shirt, boots, and his underwear. “If you are not drunk, or stoned on medical marijuana, this will be the stupidest fucking thing you have ever seen, and you should leave now!” I watched several folks do just that.

He then asked 10 people to become part of the show and to proceed to the dressing room. Outside, there were a dozen giant foam and duct tape puppet heads of evil clowns, dead rock stars and other weird characters from the band’s oddball claymation videos. These things were twisted. I couldn’t help myself and chose Layne Staley Frankenstein. I was introduced as the first puppet and made my way inside. He put me on top of a large box in front of the stage and they began to play the Alice in Chains classic “Man in the Box” … ha … ha … ha.

From there, the night became a hot mess of drunken, sweaty, yelling and screaming puppets crashing around the bar, knocking over drinks and people having a blast — not to mention the crazy antics of Manspeaker and his own outlandish costume changes and bar dancing.

Green Jellÿ didn’t disappoint when it came to song selection. The band’s 1993 album Cereal Killer Soundtrack dominated the set with tracks like “Electric Harley House (of Love)”, “Obey the Cowgod”, “Anarchy in Bedrock” (yes, this is a Sex Pistols cover) and of course ending the night with “Three Little Pigs”. I fully enjoyed participating and making a fool of myself in the name of punk rock and have been wearing the gash in my forehead with pride all week.