This I Believe

On your tombstone there will be date that you were born followed by the date that you died. In between those two dates there is a line that represents all that you have done between those two lines. It has taken me almost thirty years on this Earth to realize how I want my line to be defined. I want it to be defined as being a person who cares about others and spends her life in a manner that is pleasing to God. It took a great deal of learning and growing to get to this point.

As a child growing up in the Bible Belt, I was raised in a traditional Southern Baptist Church. I went to Sunday School and church every week and was involved in just about any activity the church had to offer. I was taught Bible passage after Bible passage and could recite just about any of them upon request. We prayed at every meal and before bedtime. This was our life for many years. Then we moved away from our home church to a different state and we never really ever found that connection and church family again. I rebelled against my parents and going to church and did many things that went against the Christian ideals my parents tried to instill in me. I was exposed to many different cultures and religions and began to question my own beliefs. My parents supported my curiosity, but were very upset about many of the poor decisions I was making. I went away to school and the poor decisions didn’t stop there. I ended up dropping out of college after two years and traveled around without making contact with many of my family and friends for several years.

After a couple of years of this lifestyle, I felt the need to settle down. I ended up falling in love, a got married, and found a job that I loved and was paid well for doing. I thought I had all that I needed. Then things started to unravel. The company I worked for went out of business, which left me unemployed. I still didn’t have my undergraduate degree. My marriage was struggling because of this and many other stressors going on in our lives. During this period I was a volunteer at the local Ronald McDonald House, which houses families of sick children. I would often have long talks with families about their experiences and what was going on in their lives. I befriended a five year old little girl who was in the worst phase of her cancer treatment. She always had such a positive attitude, even when you knew that she was feeling absolutely miserable. She would often tell me that she knew that she was going to conquer cancer because she had God on her side and He had a bigger plan for her. This was amazing to me that at 5 this child had a clearer vision of her life’s purpose that I did at almost 30! She and her mother would always close our evenings together with a prayer. They would often pray for me and for me to find some guidance in my changing life. Then I started to pray on my own.

Amazing things started to happen. A job opened up at the Ronald McDonald House and I was able to move from volunteer to employee. The schedule allowed me time to go back to school and I applied and was accepted to go back to ECU. My husband and I committedto working on our marriage and sorted all kinds of things out. I found a church in our community that was exactly what I needed and didn’t even know that it was what I was looking for. I accepted Christ back into my heart and was saved two years ago. Good things are happening to me every day and I continue to pray and learn and grow.

Due to the experiences in my life, I have been able to have a clearer path and know where I want my life to go. Because of prayer and guidance of the Lord, my line is being well defined. I strive to live my life every day in manner that is pleasing to my savior who sacrificed so much for me to be here.

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This week’s essay

Growing up in the former Yugoslavia, lawyer Djenita Pasic enjoyed the peace of her religiously diverse country. But after the fall of communism and the outbreak of the Bosnian War, Pasic was forced to reevaluate her ideas about religion and tolerance. Click here to read her essay.