Jordon Hartnig

I am a 24 year old who can have 23 different mood changes in one day. My day always starts positive but there is always a chance it won’t end that way. For 3 years my life has been difficult on a daily basis, going to the movies is something that I dread now.

At what point does Misophonia take over everything that you love. Dealing with Misophonia can be the hardest thing that some people have had deal with, including myself. I have lost friends, excluded myself from social events, lost career paths but most importantly, I may have lost my soulmate.

Misophonia has taken three years of my life so far, everyday gets harder. Therapy, weight gain from medication, exercise, change of lifestyle or meditation are all I know right now. Sometimes I think it would be easier to go through life wearing headphones because escaping the ‘triggers’ is the only thing I know to work for me. But what a horrible life that would be, we can’t let Misophonia control our lives.

Trying to explain Misophonia to anyone can be extremely hard, most people can be so understanding yet some can be so judgemental. It is easy to see a wound or scar, but you can’t see a person’s mind travelling at a crazy speed just from a common noise others hear as a ‘background sound’. Wouldn’t it be easier to plug a USB into your brain and show people what goes on in there?

Every person that has Misophonia can say they avoid the noises that ‘trigger’ them. How can you avoid certain sounds if they are everywhere you go? How do you leave the house? Most importantly how do you stay with someone you love while they are unintentionally pushing you to breaking point?

Finding a soulmate can be hard, finding someone who understands exactly how your Misophonia works is even harder. But the hardest thing is being with someone who does the ‘triggers’ so often.

As much as you tell your mind ‘it’s okay, you love them, you can deal with this noise’ or ‘it’s okay it’s going to stop in a few seconds’, sometimes that just isn’t enough. I mean would you sit there and continually be stabbed with knife if you had a choice to get up and leave to avoid the pain? I am sure you would get up and leave because why would we put ourselves through pain if we had a choice?

But that’s the difference with your relationship, you don’t want to get up and leave. You want to stay and ignore the ‘triggers’ but sometimes you just can’t. As much as you love them and feel that they are your soulmate, Misophonia rises above all that and you don’t get to make the choice anymore. You must be alone because that’s your way of avoiding that stabbing knife.

To the supportive partner that is taking on a Misophone. As much as you try, the number of apologies you say, the amount of horrible moods you put up with, the difficulties of taking them out to social events or just simple things like going on a date to the movies. You are a wonderful human for being the most supportive partner through what must be the hardest times a Misophonia person has to deal with.

If we had a choice, Misophonia would go, it would be like it never existed. But that’s the thing, it does, it controls us to avoid places and people, even if that’s not what we want.

As much as you try to cope with the ‘triggers’ or accept their apologies, there is a point where it becomes too much. Mental health is such a tricking thing, you must let that be your number one priority or else you won’t get better, you won’t overcome your Misophonia.