Opening Panel Round

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Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Roxanne, after multiple complaints from customers, a coffee shop in the U.K. is finally making a change. What are they doing?

ROXANNE ROBERTS: They're finally serving coffee.

SAGAL: No, they've been serving coffee for a while, but they're making another significant change.

P. J. O'ROURKE: They're putting it in the cup.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Tired of the customers screaming "Ow."

ROBERTS: It tastes all right. No clue.

SAGAL: Well no more, for example, double venti decaf skinny caps.

ROBERTS: Wait, is this the one where it's coffee.

SAGAL: Yes.

ROBERTS: The sign just says coffee.

SAGAL: They have dumbed down their menu, right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: So, it's happened to all of us. We want a cup of coffee, we go into some overpriced chain coffee shop, we spend the next hour trying to sound out the menu while moving our lips. It's like, vente-what? So the Debenhams Coffee Shop has renamed all their drinks in plain English. A caffe latte is now a quote, really, really milky coffee, caffe mocha is chocolate flavored coffee, and espresso is two teaspoons of mud which costs $3.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You can improve the whole coffee shop experience by losing all the fancy labels. Instead of baristas, how about "theater majors?"

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.