I'm posting here because I need a quick response!

So, i'm trying to get draft parenting orders done before COB today as I have a lawyer who will look at them for free if I can.

I am stuck on my birthday and mother's/father's day. Ultimately FOB will get to decide his bday and Father's day 'wants'. I'm just thinking that if Mother's Day falls on a day that I don't have the kids then, too bad. I don't see them. FOB is an a**hat and he makes everything a drama/miserable so I just feel it's better I don't ask for special time. Some people's orders say that the kids get to be with the mum even f it' the father's time. I know the kids will be a bit upset but I can make sure we do a special dinner/breakfast the week before. It's probably only 4-5 Mothers days in the next 10 years anyway and then the kids decide for themselves. Thoughts?

If it's not super important to you maybe leave it - save the fight for things your really want out of the agreement.
Who knows, if the kids do get upset about not seeing you on MDay then maybe your ex will cave anyway and let them spend it with you?

If it's not super important to you maybe leave it - save the fight for things your really want out of the agreement.
Who knows, if the kids do get upset about not seeing you on MDay then maybe your ex will cave anyway and let them spend it with you?

He's not that kind of man. He's more likely to say yes and then change his mind which would hurt the kids more. Hence why I am thinking I should forgo.

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You should definitely ask for special time, I had like PP mentioned, Father's Day with father, Mother's Day with me, regardless of whose weekend it was, also his b'day with him, my birthday with me. Xmas eve til just after lunch with me then just after lunch to bedtime on Xmas day with dad and alternate each year.

for your birthday and mothers day I probably would say that you get them for those.

Its not for you, its for the kids. They LIKE to make it special ...

If its in the plan - he has to.

If it ends up being too hard, you can always forgo it. You cant put it in and make it a requirement later though.

So general rule - put in EVERYTHING you want, and you can compromise on it if it doesnt happen later.

I'm just thinking forgo it now because he will set it up to ruin it. IE He will have the kids run really late or arrive early to pick them up (30-40 mins) and make his presence known by sitting in driveway music blaring or his gf dancing. A few years back his gf helped my son a card that read 'happy b*chday'. Made me upset at the time

Our court order says Mother's Day the father does the drop off and pick up from 8-4, same in reverse for Father's Day. If you think he will try and ruin it, he can only if you let him!! He does it cause he sees it gets to you. If it helps though, have it written so that you do the pickups and drop offs to limit the amount of bull... he pulls.

Birthdays we have no arrangement and just do something when they are with us.

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