ASHLEY
SERYN
There are so many things I want to say in this editor’s letter, but as many of our readers already
know, this is the last editor’s letter I’ll be doing —
at least for Mad Sounds. And it’s been a crazy past
five years working on this magazine.
I started this magazine as a junior in high school
and never could have imagined the ways that a
passion project like Mad Sounds would end up
changing my life. As I write this editor’s letter I am
only one day away from my college graduation,
where I’ll be graduating from Loyola Marymount
University with a degree in English. It’s an incredibly bittersweet feeling to think about the many
chapters of my life that are now coming to a close
this week: both the end of this magazine and the
beginning of my life as a “real adult”, in a postgrad world. However, this issue was created to
capture these last fuzzy, nostaglic feelings that I
hope Mad Sounds will leave you with.

Issue 30 - Keep a Place for Me is an issue created out of a desire to say goodbye: dedicated to
persisting loves, new beginnings, and final farewells to all the places we keep and leave behind.
This issue was created by a handful of wonderful
people, both old and new contributors, who were
kind enough to allow me to commemorate their
beautiful work in our last issue. In short: this issue
is full of inspiring humans who truly encompass
what Mad Sounds is and means to be. And I hope
that you’ll keep a place for this magazine - at least,
just for a little while.
I’ll never be able to thank our readers enough
for the many years of love and support you have
given to both myself and this magazine. Thank
you for supporting every crazy vision and every
impossible idea. Thank you for being part of this
journey. I love you, and I’ll see you soon.
Giselle Melendres
Founder + Editor-in-Chief
Mad Sounds

we blame the moon for darkness, i hide beyond the lakes
the waters sit so silent here, we find insatiable ways to take their place
so we spill out on the streets with visions of bodies swaying
we ask a lot, but never this- whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the harm in staying.
we find pious solutions, manmade and free
line them up slowly and count to fifteen
anywhere we go we offer our inlets, draped with muddy hands,
we beg to trade them for the traits of any foreign land.
so like the winds that form off the santa ana basin
far from where we stay,
i keep on growing wild for you, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what will teach these kids to pray.
remember me tonight, or even just today
the place we found, not heaven nor hell
lay it to rest down one hundred east bay.

Houses are supposed to feel permanent. There’s foundation, concrete poured, wood structures built up to be sturdy and true. The materials are made to withstand storms
and cruel winters, with strong winds occasionally rattling
the windows. But even the most intense gusts should not
and will not break the glass. We put our trust in these
structures and call them home. We let our guards down
because its walls around us are meant to guard us. We live
in places, and they become our own.
Many people—myself included—would romanticize the
whole “free spirit” lifestyle. As a kid, I dreamed of flitting
place to place on a tour bus, following my favorite bands
around the country, waking up in a new city every day, always willing to run towards danger and the unknown. All
of that seems so great as a montage—eating strange local
delicacies, making friends with waiters you’ll never see
again, collecting kitschy magnets from roadside stores.
All my belongings would fit a modest leather satchel, and
I’d somehow still look earthy and flawless without a drop
of eye cream or a spritz of dry shampoo. There would be
adventures to write home about, pages and pages on my
escapades, like dancing by the ocean with a group of foreign exchange students, or getting stranded in the countryside and being rescued by a bread truck.
But in this “#wanderlust Pinterest board come to life” scenario, who would there be to write home to?
[break]
I’ve lived in seven different homes in the last seven years.
When our family house was foreclosed in the years-long
aftermath of the 2008 recession, I found myself scrambling to pack up my preteen bedroom just weeks before
my senior year of high school. Within two weeks, my family moved into a rented home, and that rush of nomadic ecstasy that I had daydreamed of instead felt like the
heavy burden of lugging all of your belongings in boxes
across town.
Then college came, and dorms and apartments and parents wanting to move again and again, for their own sake
and sanity. Because of this, nothing I own seems to have
a rightful place, and all of my necessities have become
expendable. There is very little interior decorating or nesting, because furniture just needs to fit “for now” or “until
we’re settled.” But I never really feel settled.

045

When you’re a little kid growing up, your house is the most
familiar place in the world. It’s where you come home to—
it’s where all your toys are, and where most of the people
you know are. Having that sense of stability stripped away
makes it hard to believe that any place could be permanent.
You start to realize that a structure is just wood and glass
and concrete, and all of those things wither away with time.
And sometimes forces other than time take them from you.
Suddenly being a wandering traveler sounds less and less
appealing.
It goes without saying that we change as we get older, but
the way movies and TV make it seem, places are supposed
to stay the same. Even as the friends in Friends morphed into
the most extreme, caricaturesque versions of themselves by
season 10, they always had Central Perk. The show literally
ended when they had to give up that purple apartment, as if
to say that these spaces mark chapters of our lives in a linear
way, that we grow within the walls of these homes until it’s
naturally time to leave.
I used to believe that, but I don’t anymore. I thought home
was the big house on the corner where my family once lived
until there was a knock on the door and we were told the
home wasn’t ours anymore. I thought a college apartment
was the place you slept between laundry runs back home
until I found myself feeling at home while sitting on the
floor with a stack of grease-stained pizza boxes, a bunch of
loose brussel sprouts, and robot vacuum. I thought homes
were sacred sanctuaries until I lived next to frat row and
they played terrible EDM remixes of “Mr. Brightside” every
weekend that were so loud it almost broke my apartment
windows. I thought moving so often meant more chances
at fresh starts until I realized I was just dragging around the
same boxes from place to place, from structure to structure,
and still haven’t found one where I feel totally comfortable
unpacking my bags.
We grow through the places we go through, but those historical monuments that mark phases of our lives are less
permanent than one may think. I used to think that people would be the ones to come and go in my lifetime, but I
look around between every move and see the same people
around, with some welcome additions over time. I’ve come
to learn that having someone you trust keep a place for you
in their life is far more fulfilling than having a place to set
down your boxes. I will probably be unpacking boxes for
the rest of my life, and while I don’t know where they’ll be
shipped off to, I have a pretty good idea of who will be helping me unload.

You might recognize her on screen from projects like My Dead Ex and Mr. Student Body President, or seen one of her many videos on YouTube. As an internet creator since 2009, Alexa
Losey is known for many things — but being ordinary was never one. Based in Los Angeles,
Alexa has made a name for herself in entertainment and new media: creating digital content in
lifestyle, fashion, and beauty, and speaking openly to her audience about issues surrounding
self-love and mental health. Most notably, Alexa’s talents extend out of simply being ‘talent’,
where she’s taken on new roles in entrepreneurship, screenwriting, directing, acting, and social
media. A millennial multi-hyphenate — we were honored to be able to feature Alexa on the
cover of our very last issue and chat with her about mental health, her journey on the internet,
and the importance of giving yourself unconditional love.

Hi Alexa, thanks so much for chatting with us today! To start off, tell us a little bit about what a typical day looks like for you:
I don’t think I really have a typical day. The only true
structure around my life is book club every other
Sunday and therapy. Some days, like today, I’m filming a new series for my YouTube channel with my
production team after an early morning workout.
Others, like tomorrow, I have back to back meetings then I finally get to spend an afternoon with my
mom. Some days I’m halfway across the world seeing where ingredients for future products are being
sourced and the next I’m in a pitch meeting for a TV
show I’ve been working on. I’m pretty organized but
I hardly live the same day twice.

049

As an LA native for many years, what are some of
your favorite spots in Los Angeles?
I have so many that are very special to me. I almost
don’t want to share but I do want other people to get
to experience them. I am a massive foodie. Some of
my favorites are Croft Alley, Jon & Vinny’s, All Time,
Mz Hz, Trois Familia, Sugarfish & Din Tai Fung just to
name a few. As far as everyday meals I usually gravitate to the hot bar at Erewhon market & Sweetgreen
for healthy salads on the go. I’m also a huge fan of
Alfred Coffee like other 90% of Los Angeles.
As far as overall places, Chateau Marmont always
has a special place in my heart. It almost feels like
home. It’s been full of endless memories for what
feels like everyone for over a century. I really love

NO. 30 - KEEP A PLACE FOR ME

the Getty museum. I love SoHo House in Malibu
for an escape from the madness. I have to say the
Griffith Observatory takes the cake.

tion. I was an International Baccalaureate student
with a 4.5 GPA and I was a full time YouTuber. I
stopped when I entered the hospital. I thought I’d
never be a content creator after that experience.
Little did I know, this was just going to be my first
break.

A year later I got connected with a girl named Rebecca Black on Tumblr. We became fast friends
and the two found a family within a group of YouTubers that all moved to LA around the same time.
They reminded me why I started YouTube in the
first place, to share and create. I then had a mental
breakdown when I realized I had created an image online that made me feel dead inside. I suppressed these feels for years until I hit a breaking
point. About a year and a half ago I took the longest break I’ve ever taken.

You first started YouTube back in 2010. What originally made you want to start a YouTube channel?
Human connection. I had no friends and felt the
only way to find like minded people was to make
videos talking about things I cared about. Makeup, fashion, what was going on with school, anything that felt important. When I started only three
people had hit 1M subscribers on YouTube. There
wasn’t money or fame in the game. I went to the
first Vidcon with only 500 people in attendance. I
did it purely for the love.

I decided on focusing on taking care of my mind,
pouring myself into the acting role I had just
booked and graduating university.

You’ve been on YouTube for almost 10 years now
and have seen the platform shift and evolve in
such a drastic way. What motivates you to stay on
the platform?

I’ve taken breaks when I truly needed to for my
mental health. I finally feel like I’m in the right
headspace to make content that’s really important
to me while expression my creativity. Going back
to the mentality I started with as a 16 year old with
a 24 year olds perspective.

I started 8 years ago. Before people were making
millions of dollars on YouTube. Before the word
“influencer” was created. It was a small community. Telling someone you were a YouTuber was
either looked down on or was completely misunderstood. Now if you tell someone you’re a YouTuber or Influencer for a living they usually think it’s
cool. When I started I told my guidance counselor
I wanted to make my YouTube channel a job and
she laughed at me and told me to go to nursing
school. Now being a “YouTuber” is a career aspiration for many young people.

Who are some of your favorite creators?
Right now I am fucking obsessed with Best
Dressed. She’s blunt, candid and talented. I am in
love with her mind. Jenn Im is not only an amazing friend but an innovator in our space. I respect
her hard work, outlook on life and candor. I really
admire David Dobrik’s content and how he was
build his career. I will also always love Shannon
Beveridge, Chris Kelemens, Lauren Elizabeth, Olivia Sui, Alisha Marie, Remi Cruz, Violet Benson,
Sam Elkins, Larson Thompson, Devon Carlson,
Ellie Thumann, Tatiana Ringsby, Meredith Foster, MyLifeAsEva, Adrian Bliss, The Merrel Twins,
Joanna Simon, Amy Serrano, Casual Allure, Amy
Lee, Madison Chertow, Maia Mitchell (when she
posts content), and of course my best pals Caspar
Lee, Nick Hissom, Julia Kelly, Riley Taylor & Cierra
Ramirez. That’s a long list, I know, sorry for dropping so many damn names. Trust me, you need to
go follow all of them

There was a time where you left YouTube temporarily. Can you tell us a little bit about why you
decided to take time off?
If you are familiar with my channel you know I talk
openly about mental health and my battle with
it as a young person. After a year and a half on
YouTube, I checked myself into an adolescent psychiatric hospital. It wasn’t YouTube’s fault. It was
my unhealthy relationship with the idea of perfec-

What is the most challenging part about being a
social media influencer? What are your favorite
parts about the job?
I have a hard time feeling the pressure of being
“on”. For so long I felt the only way to success was
to put myself on strict diets and workout plans
to feel good enough. I convinced myself brands
wouldn’t want work with me and casting directors
would hate me because I wasn’t their perfect image.
The best part is having the freedom to be able
to do whatever the fuck you want whenever the
fuck you want. You can share anything that means
something to you without needed a network
to approve what you say. Also getting to go on
brand trips and try out endless product is a pretty
cool perk.
You’ve been pretty open about discussing mental
health on your platform, sharing your own experiences in dealing with mental health issues. What
inspired you to start creating content surrounding
mental health?
To be honest, I feel like I’ve said what I want to say.
I am now trying to focus only sharing my mental
health as a journey rather than a report. I don’t
want to dwell on it or continue to share the past
because I feel like it holds me back. I want to check
in and let my audience know how I’m doing because I know it means something to them and to
me but I want to grow mentally at my own pace
and not feel pressure to share it.
Was it difficult to initially start sharing such personal information or experiences with your audience?
Yes, but it was weird why I felt this. I was so worried the guy I was secretly in love with was going
to see it and never be able to love me back. The
only thing holding me back from feeling candid
and finally free with sharing myself was one persons opinion. Thank god I just let it go. It felt so
worth it when I got amazing feedback on the video
and also got messages that people that watched it

055

took charge in seeking the help they needed.
What is one of the most important lessons about
mental health or self-love that you’d hope your
audience can take from your content?
Seeking health is brave and needed. Medication
isn’t evil and understanding it’s a lifelong battle
that is possible to conquer is essential in living a
healthier life. Your mental illness does not define
you. It does not make you any less worthy of your
dreams, goals and love.
What is your best advice for learning to love yourself?
Let go and give yourself permission. Allow yourself to grow from mistakes. Put yourself in good
situations. Take care of your body. Give back
whenever you can. Say yes more. Say no more.
Ask for help when you need it without the fear of
being shamed. But overall build foundation you
need to give and accept true, unconditional love.
Outside of YouTube you’ve acted in a handful of
roles in series like My Dead Ex, Mr. Student Body
President, Relationship Status and more. What
made you want to pursue acting? What is your
favorite part about acting?
I felt the need to express myself as another part of
myself. It’s a craft I truly love and enjoy. So many
people around me get into acting for the money
or the fame. I never had a goal to book a show. My
only goal ever going into an audition room was to
have fun and put on a mini one person production
to whoever in the casting office would watch. It
makes me feel like a lively human. My least favorite
part is waiting countless hours on set.
You’ve told me a bit about wanting to step away
from the talent side of the industry and get into
some of the more ‘behind-the-scenes’ roles of entertainment such as screenwriting, producing, etc.
Can you tell us a little about that?
I’ve written a couple scripts that sold but I know
will never see the light of day. It sucks but it taught

me how brutal this town is and how to get better
at my craft. I would love to ultimately direct, write
and produce films and tv shows. I like to see a story told from start to finish. That’s where I feel held
back as an actor.
You have such an incredible personal style. Where
do you get your inspiration from? What are some
of your favorite stores or brands to shop at?
That’s the nicest compliment. I mostly go off French
and Italian girls on Instagram that are way to cool
for their own good. Los Angeles and Aussie street
style in general had really influenced what I wear. I
love following 80’s and 90’s accounts. I like mixing
trendy pieces with classic styles I was raised on.
Nothing is better than a classic Chanel pump with
a trendy Reformation dress. I’ve just become one
of “those” girls and I’m not mad at it.
You’ve also recently discussed an interest in
adopting a more sustainable lifestyle. What are
some of your best tips for shopping more sustainably?
I have been trying to become more aware of staying away from fast fashion. If I do go to a trendy
store I make sure I focus on buying pieces that will
last. I’m learning that being an outfit repeater is
better for your wallet and our earth. I like supporting local brands that focus on sustainability, even
if they are more expensive. Some of my favorites
are Reformation, Realisation Par, Rowie and Christy Dawn.
I’m also a huge fan of shopping second hand and
at vintage stores. I love Wasteland, Crossroads, the
Melrose Trading post on Sunday’s and Jetrag.
Describe yourself in three words:
Kind, tenacious and endlessly curious
KEEP UP WITH ALEXA:
Instagram/Twitter:
@alexalosey
YouTube.com/Alexa

Ryan Leader always planned to do a lot with his future. In fact, he already has. At the age
of nineteen, Ryan made the move from Utah to Los Angeles to be closer to the entertainment
world. Finding his footing in Hollywood as an editor, YouTube creator, and aspiring filmmaker,
Ryan’s knack for comedy and creativity has made him a new media creator to watch. Today we
had the opportunity to chat with Ryan about finding his niche in entertainment and social media — where he tells us about his journey on YouTube, moving to Los Angeles, and his biggest
advice for aspiring creators. Read our interview to learn more about Ryan Leader: a creator on
the rise.

Hi Ryan, thanks for taking the time to chat with
Mad Sounds today. To start off, tell us about what a
typical day is like for you:
I firstly wake up (obviously) and then determine
what my day will look like after that. I either do 1 of 3
things typically everyday, I either will film and edit a
video for myself, film and edit for Chad (Cherdleys),
or head down to Santa Monica to edit for the app I
work at Joyride.
You’re originally from Utah and are now based
in Hollywood. What made you want to make the
move to Los Angeles? How is Los Angeles different
from your life in Utah?
I moved from Utah to Los Angeles to be closer to
the entertainment world, I knew I wanted to be in

065

entertainment. So the year after I graduated from
high school I decided to move down to LA to live
with my father. 6 months later I moved to Hollywood
and am now living with Chad. I told myself when I
left Utah, “I will not get a job in LA unless it is in entertainment.”
The biggest difference from living here rather than
Utah, is that Utah has a huge religious influence from
the Mormon religion—there isn’t that here. There is
much more of the melting pot that the United States
is supposed to be. I miss certain parts of Utah such
as the mountains, my family, and my friends. Living
in LA these last 9 months has completely 180’d everything in my life, I believe, for the better.

The Getty, for some reason I love that museum. It’s
free, you ride a tram to get to it, and the view from
up there is astounding. I love Manhattan Beach
because it’s not as busy as say Venice or Santa
Monica. I also really enjoy the private beaches up
in Malibu to have a fire with friends. I also really
enjoy walking around DTLA, the downtown compared to SLC is insane, so much bigger here, a
specific spot downtown would have to be Birdies
- Chicken, Coffee, and Donuts.

Sketches—vlogs are disgusting, no one should
ever be invested in someone’s life like that. I make
them to either say a thought I had or show how
funny my friends may be, never to brag about my
life.
Who are some of your biggest inspirations for
both comedy and otherwise?

You’re currently working as a comedy video creator, creating sketch videos, vlogs, and more on
both YouTube and Instagram. What made you
want to start making YouTube videos and getting
into comedy?
I’ve been making videos since I was in 6th grade,
they’ve usually always been comedy because as
cliche as it sounds, I love making people laugh,
but more importantly I like making people think. I
guess creating videos in my eyes in the 21st Century will eventually open the door to filmmaking
more easily than school would, and filmmaking is
what I’m passionate about.
You’ve also worked with a handful of popular
YouTube creators such as Casey Frey, Cherdleys,
Trevor Wallace, and more. How did you first meet
them? What type of collaborations are your favorite to make?
I wouldn’t say I’ve personally collaborated with
them, I work for Chad as his cameraman, I film
them collaborate, I may pitch a joke or two, but
I wouldn’t say I’ve collaborated with them. I like
making something that will either get a reaction
out of someone or make them think differently. I
do a lot of things in my personal life to get a reaction. Soooo, I would want to collaborate people
who actually 1. Care about comedy. 2. Are authentic and 3. Are actually good.

I have a shitload of inspirations that range from
dead guys who thought about stuff too much, musicians, comedians, filmmakers, actors, world leaders, etc… So I’ll just list 5 ‘famous’ inspirations and
5 personal ones such as family and friends…
Famous: Socrates (edgy), Christopher Nolan, Louis C.K., Felix Kjellberg, and Martin Scorsese.
Personal: Brayden Stevenson, Nathan Wilkins,
Chad LeBaron, Denise Wilkins-Leader, and David
Leader.
Do you like being ‘behind the scenes’ or ‘talent’
more?
Talent is always more enjoyable for me, unless I am
the director, then I like to be behind the scenes. I
don’t really enjoy cinematography as much as either acting or directing.
What are some of your personal goals for your
YouTube channel and social media in the future?
Do you hope to eventually pursue video creation
and comedy full time?
I want to pursue filmmaking full time, but yes start
with videos and comedy full time. My goals for social media is to get further from it, social media is
toxic for your brain I believe, too much distraction
and comparison. YouTube, I would like to be able
to make a living off of first.

Have you ever received hate or negative comments surrounding your social media and YouTube
presence? If so, how do you deal with negativity?
Someone once told me that you have to “not give
a fuck” and that doesn’t mean just towards the negative, that also means towards the positive. Neither
should ever affect you and your work. My niece
when she was 7 told me that: “People are just mean
because they are jealous.” It’s cliche, again, but it’s
very much so true.
What is your biggest piece of advice for someone
wanting to pursue YouTube or another creative
outlet?
Be fucking authentic. There’s a lot of people who
call themselves comedians on the internet, and

they aren’t. It’s so oversaid, but seriously be yourself. Also don’t be a bitch. If your goals from doing
something creative is women, money, cars, etc… go
fuck yourself.
What’s next for Ryan Leader?
Not trying to ‘toot my own horn’, but, a lot is in store
for my future. I plan to do a lot and I’ve already started.

Bianca Ocampo is not your typical college student. Often recognized under the artist name of
“Urbanation”, Bianca is a self-produced indie singer, songwriter, and musician whose dreamy
bedroom pop music has reached thousands of listeners on Spotify, iTunes, and Soundcloud.
With a natural affinity for music and songwriting, Bianca never imagined one of her first original songs “Bitter Pill” would become what an overnight sensation. Today we chatted with
Bianca about how she got her start: the challenge of balancing both school and music, getting
over heartbreak, and the inspiration behind her upcoming album. Take a look at our interview
to learn more about the creative mind behind Urbanation:

Hey Bianca! Thanks so much for taking the time to
talk with us here at Mad Sounds. To start, tell us a
little about what a day in the life looks like for Bianca Ocampo?
Thank you so much for having me! I’m so happy to
be a part of the last issue of Mad Sounds.
Typically, my day starts with work at my on-campus
job. I’ve become more of a morning person for that
reason and I also constantly feel like there’s never
enough hours in the day so waking up early makes
all the difference. I am a full-time student so usually
after work everyday I go to my classes, and in my
gaps between class I’m usually doing homework,
doing emails for intern or music stuff, editing a
song, writing ideas, or if I’m lucky and feeling up to
it... at the gym. I save weekends for spending time
with family back home, hanging out with friends,
and catching up on studying.

075

You currently make music under the name of Urbanation, can you tell us about how that name
came to be?
It’s honestly kind of an underwhelming origin story. I came up with it when Instagram first came out
when I was in middle school. I used to be really into
photography then so i kept that username for my
photography Instagram (you can still see my old
pictures on there) and it just kind of stuck. I ended
up using “urbanation” for everything including my
Soundcloud username and that became the name
of my music project. I’m hoping to change it though
eventually; I don’t know how I feel about it anymore,
which is why my album is going to be called “don’t
ask me what it means…” The title could be referring
to a lot of things but mainly it’s about “urbanation.”

What initially made you want to start making music? Did singing and composing music always
come naturally to you?
I started piano lessons when I was four years old
and I think that’s where my general know-how
stems from. My family is pretty musical as well—my
mom can sing really well and I’d like to think I took
after her. I also played violin in my middle school
and high school orchestras and I actually really enjoyed that part of my K-12 experience.
I started posting covers on Soundcloud in 2013
and I very gradually became interested in the process of composing music. I’ve always been someone who enjoys making things, like photography
and film, mostly because of how satisfying it is to
piece together something nice from little parts.
Once I started noticing feedback on my original
music, I thought, “Oh, people like this stuff,” and it
inspired me to continue making my own sounds.
If you asked me about music theory, though, that’s
another story. I’m definitely a play-by-ear type of
girl.
You released your first official single “Bitter Pill”
back in 2017 and have been releasing music
since. What inspired “Bitter Pill”?
Bitter Pill was written about my first major heartbreak. The song’s about realizing that you might
have made a mistake, and how you can liken the
feeling to when you bite down on a pill and it ends
up being really bitter; you can’t really do anything
about it but wait for the taste to go away. It’s about
being so desperate that you’re willing to let someone else in your life just to distract you from the
pain of being heartbroken. Having moved on, I
can think about that time now without feeling bad
about it, but I remember that song doing so much
for me and my healing process at the time. Bitter
Pill was one of the first songs that helped me to
realize that writing was like a superpower; being
able to encapsulate something terrible into something beautiful that you want to repeat over and
over again is really profound to me.

NO. 30 - KEEP A PLACE FOR ME

How do you come up with lyrics to a song? What
is your creative process for making songs?

Who are some of your biggest inspirations for
music? Who are your some of your all time favorite bands or artists?

It depends, my iCloud notes are filled with ideas.
I have a lot of little one liners and poetry that
don’t always make sense but I can always remember what I was writing about when I look back at
them. I’m also fascinated by the idea that people
are made up of stories; I like to people watch and
make up little life stories for them, and sometimes
I write about those.

Karen O, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Mitski, Japanese Breakfast, Soccer Mommy, Beach House. I’m definitely
missing people from this list and will probably remember who after this interview is published.
In addition to making music you also are a full
time college student at UC Davis. How do you
balance performing, making music, and still being a student?

It’s important for me to write about things that are
personal to me because I feel like that’s the whole
point of writing. I feel like I’m having everyone
read my diary which is kind of strange but that’s
where subtlety, wordplay and subliminal messages are key. Sometimes I’ll expand a lot more
on a small experience, but regardless, my music
is always genuine to me, how I’m feeling, and my
current influences.

Easy, I don’t! I try my best, though. I am the type of
person that loves being busy all the time because
I feel like I’m living life to the fullest. It can be exhausting, but what motivates me is that everything
I’m doing… It’s what I want to do. I call it “good
stress.” A lot of people ask me how I balance everything and I assure those people that it’s really
not bad. I still have time to spend quality time with
family, friends, and pursue my non-music career
opportunities as well -- At least I make the time.
I’m a big believer in the idea that you can make
time for things that are important to you, no matter
how busy you are.

You’re also hoping to release an album soon.
What can we expect from the music in that album?
It’s definitely been a challenge trying to make a big
project that feels cohesive and representative of
me. I have a ton of ideas that I have collected over
time, and my fear is that they become too outdated that I don’t feel that excitement or connection
with them anymore. I have a graveyard folder in
my hard drive of “stale songs” that I initially loved
that won’t ever reach anyone else’s ears. For that
reason, long term projects can be daunting.

It can be difficult to find your niche in a creative
scene when you live in a small town. What advice
would you give to those hoping to make a name
for themselves or get into the music scene while
not living in a big city?
In a big city, I feel like you’re surrounded by so
many people that are accomplished or at least
portray that image, and being overwhelmed by
that can stifle creativity. I grew up in quiet suburbia, and now that I’m in an even smaller town, I
find that I feel even more compelled to pursue my
craft. It’s only natural that being in a quiet place
makes you want to fill it with sound, literally and
figuratively.

You can expect the album to be a genre-bending
record. I see myself as an “inconsistently inconsistent” chameleon person and I’d like that variability to translate through (in?) my music. I like variety and I’m always experimenting with different
sounds; I love bedroom pop but I’m hoping to
transcend the genre that I tend to be labeled as.
I want a song to sound like 80’s New Wave and
another to be like super poppy or just plain weird.
We’ll see what happens. Walking through a fun
house and trying out different distorted mirrors...
that’s kind of what I want the album to be like.

My advice to folks that don’t live in big cities is to
be extremely open to meeting new people! Networking is important in all that you do. I’m not
recommending to meet people just for the sake

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NO. 30 - KEEP A PLACE FOR ME

of self-promotion or to purely milk opportunities
for your own self-benefit. What I mean is to seek
genuine and personal connections. As a previous
introvert, music has led me to meet so many friends
and acquaintances, and I’ve made so many cherished memories out of those relationships. If I had
continued to be the hermit I naturally am, I probably wouldn’t have discovered the local music scene
here. For one, meeting cool people like the folks at
the local radio station KDVS 90.3 FM has connected
me to gigs and opportunities I’m very grateful for.
Being in a college town is great for meeting people
so college students: make the most of it while you
can.
Personal branding is such a large part about creating an identity for yourself as a music artist. How
would you describe your personal brand?
Internet culture tends to be very superficial and
terrible for mental health so with that in mind, I try
to be as real as possible on social media. I think it’s
important to tailor your socials to make them true
to who you are, although to be honest I still catch
myself being part of the problem sometimes. (That’s
what Face Wants is about) I’m working on being
more transparent and just using it less. On Instagram, I think the whole perfect feed-perfect life look
has died and it’s just cooler to be weird and real
with your audience.
Since I’ve been doing a lot more performances recently, I use social media more to promote those
things. Being your own marketing team can be really tiresome and sometimes you can feel like you’re
in people’s faces, but that’s really something you
can’t be shy about if you want people to hear your
music and come to your shows. One day I hope to
have Frank Ocean @blonded clout-- to be so iconic
of a musician that I wouldn’t even have to try.
Where do you see yourself in the next few years?
urbanation has grown so much more than I ever anticipated and I’m really proud of what it’s become.
I have so many ideas and I would like to see where
this project goes from here but I’m also really focusing on my non-music career. I’ve met a people who
do both and I can see myself enjoying that lifestyle
very much. Maybe I’m naive, but I personally don’t
like the mentality that you have to do one or the oth-

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er; to me it’s not practical, and not everyone is privileged enough to pursue their creative endeavors
without worrying about the unpredictability of the
industry and staying relevant. I like that music is my
creative outlet and I would hate for it to become all
work. However, I wouldn’t be opposed to doing music full-time if things worked out really well, knowing I’d have my degree to fall back on. So to answer
your question...I’m not sure yet, and that’s ok! I’m
just hoping it’s somewhere good.
Time for the real questions: what is your go-to coffee order?
My favorite question! I am such a caffeine fiend, it’s
really bad. My go-to order -- I’m drinking it right now
actually -- is an iced almond milk mocha from Peet’s.
What are some of your favorite brands at the moment?
Lately, I get most of my clothes from thrifting, but
Uniqlo is a retail staple for me because I thrive off
basics. I also really like Unif, Urban Outfitters, Opening Ceremony, and Dover Street Market. For online
thrifts I frequent Grailed and Depop.
Describe yourself in three words:
Empathetic, hopeful, driven.
​
KEEP UP WITH BIANCA:
Instagram: @bianca.jpeg
Urbanation on Soundcloud,
Spotify, & iTunes

Emerging in 2019 as a true artist to watch in the dark/sad music space, Cloe Wilder
is a force to be reckoned with. Armed with incredibly powerful songwriting skills, in
addition to a voice beyond her years, Cloe crafts melancholic, yet fiercely relatable
songs that touch the deepest parts of the human psyche. In this interview, Cloe tells us
about her passion for music, her dream collaborations, and what her creative process
looks like in the studio. Read on to learn more about Cloe Wilder and her upcoming
projects.

To get things started, can you tell us what a day in
the life of Cloe Wilder is like?
My daily routine has sort of faded from my life … so
much changes every day, it’s insane. I wake up, overthink way too much for about an hour, then I start
school, and after that, I write a song. I do interviews,
I respond to people on social media. It’s just how I
like it. Obviously, it does change when I have studio
days or work days, but those are my favorites.
At what moment did you realize you wanted to
pursue singing?
There wasn’t really anything specific that caused me
to start pursuing singing. I’ve been an artist for forever. Music has always been my escape, and when I
started creating it myself, I just kept on going.

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How would you describe your music/sound?
Dark/Pop.
Who are your musical influences?
The Smiths and The Cure have been digging into
my soul lately. The way that The Smiths put dark
and deadly subjects into music amazes me, and I
love the romance from The Cure. The 1975 has also
been major for me lately, because of how they put
their dark concepts on top of bright melodies. Their
lyrics haunt me in the best way.
What is one of your dream collaborations?
When I was six years old, I had Lana’s “Born to Die”
album on repeat. Constantly. That album is still on

my mind every day. From the moment I first
heard it, I wanted to make music with her. That
would be a dream. Something about her music has always kept me drawn to it.
Every artist has their own way of getting creative in the studio. If you were to breakdown
the creative process behind writing or recording music, what would your process look like?
I get into a pretty dark place in the studio. I
like the lights dim, and I just get in my head.
It’s probably pretty odd to watch me do, but
it helps. It’s really just me and my own mind.
I think of a concept or a hook, and it all just
pours out. Writing for me is really weird, because it feels so natural once I get into the right
state of mind.
How do you want people to feel when they
listen to your music?
I want people to get lost. I want it all to be a
place where people can lose themselves, and
then come back when they’re ready to. It’s a
place of deep and dark emotions, where you
don’t have to hide you from yourself - I want it
to be an escape, almost.

Besides music, do you have any other passions/hobbies?
Almost everything I do outside of music has
some sort of connection to art. I write ... a lot.
It’s not always lyrics, sometimes it’s just all of
my thoughts poured out onto a page (with
slightly terrifying creatures drawn next to it,
normally).
Do you have any advice for other young aspiring artists?
Don’t hide anything. It’s your music, it’s your
art, it’s you. Pour all of your emotions out, because it’s all yours. I think that’s really important
to remember as you get deeper into songwriting.
Are there any exciting projects coming up that
you can share with us? We’d love to be on the
lookout!
Yes! I’ll be releasing some more covers, as well
as my debut single in April!