Mercedes’ seductive new CLS

Merc’s sleek new four door has surely taken a cue from Snoop Dog

When Mercedes-Benz first introduced the world to the swoopy CLS class – way back in 2004 – it created the ‘Godfather’ of a new niche segment, the sexy four-door coupe. Ever since it’s been a head-turner and a far cry from Merc’s self-confessed boring design philosophy as seen in the old (E-class and C-class).

The CLS was admired by supermodels and mafia dons alike. It was handsome, sinister, luxurious and astonishingly competent in the motoring department too. If sex was a car, the original CLS was as close to it as you could imagine.

Now what we have is the all new CLS-Class, which made its debut at the Paris Auto Show a few months ago and is one hell of a makeover. In the looks department, few other cars come close. The boffins over at Merc have taken some sandpaper to the erstwhile ‘pointy’ edges and created a handsome, more aggressive and refined CLS while retaining its absurdly slick profile.

At first glance, the face of the CLS is reminiscent of the SLS AMG, the best looking Benz by far in recent years. The headlamps get the nouveau-tech treatment with 71 LEDs and massively-flared wheel arches that resemble, ‘the powerful stance of a predator waiting to pounce’ (according to Mercedes PR). Slip a tuxedo-clad British secret agent into it accompanied by his silenced Walther PPK and you’d be able to frame that.

With a fluid wraparound cockpit, swathed in the finest materials of your choosing – hand-stitched leather, satin, wood, carbon-fibre and high-gloss finishes to the surfaces, the interior is every bit Mercedes-Benz luxury. The options list is longer than Gisele Bundchen’s legs. Even in standard trim though, the tech is a bit overwhelming and one is almost inclined to shout ‘desist’ when all of Merc’s active and passive safety features ending in -Tronic or -Assist come alive.

The new CLS is available with three petrol engines, ensuring that the car is not just all show – a 3.5-litre with 292bhp, a 5-litre with 388bhp and a hardly believable 6.3-litre AMG with a screaming 514bhp – in addition to a 3-litre diesel.

The CLS 63 AMG is a car you drive in the avatar of a criminal, waiting for that fleeting moment to plant your right foot and peel away in a cloud of tire-shredding smoke. With a 0-100km/h time of 4.5 seconds and a limited top speed of 250km/h, breaking laws and devouring tires is a virtual certainty. But a pleasurable one.