Is your neighbor harassing you? 4 steps to handle the problem

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With over eight million people living on top of one another in our fine city, there’s bound to be some quibbling between neighbors. But when a dispute escalates, how should you deal? Start with the fine print.

The most common complaints tend to be addressed in your lease, with noise and smells being common complaints. Harassment—such as physical threats, calling the police to report false fires or other emergencies, or purposefully making the environment unlivable—is a different situation, and should be referred to the police.

[This story was last updated with new reporting in 2015, and was reformatted to be highlighted as an "In Case You Missed It" story in 2018.]

Be aware that whether you are confronting a nuisance or deliberate harassment, you may have to be very persistent to get your concerns addressed. That's because landlords, management companies, and boards are “loath to do anything” about most complaints, says Dean Roberts, a real estate lawyer at Norris McLaughlin & Marcus (and, full disclosure, a Brick sponsor). It’s very hard to determine who’s at fault in these cases, and most hope the residents will just work it out themselves.

If the behavior affects more than one neighbor, or a substantial portion of the building, then intervention is more likely, says real estate attorney Robert Braverman.

Here are some suggested tactics:

1. Talk it out

Assuming you don't feel physically endangered by your neighbor, consider having a conversation with him or her first, says Michael Wolfe of Midboro Management.

“Knock on your neighbor’s door. Invite him for coffee," Wolfe says. "Find some segue into a conversation that is not threatening. The keys are communication and compassion.”

2. Document the problem

"Write a letter to the shareholders or management company," Roberts says, adding that "you can’t just say you ‘called several times.’ You need some kind of evidence.”

"Also, keep a log of incidents with dates and times," suggests Sam Himmelstein, a lawyer who represents residential and commercial tenants and tenant associations (and a Brick sponsor). A paper trail of complaints and a log of incidents will help you build your case if you wind up breaking your lease and your landlord sues you for it.

When it’s cigarette smoke or kids stomping in the hallways, the management company can step in to help sort it out—plugging holes between apartments in the former case, or even bringing in sound equipment to measure decibel levels in the latter.

If the tenant is actually in compliance with the building’s rules, management may just forget about the complaint: “If a person is overly sensitive, we shut the door on it, so to speak," Wolfe says.

Intentional harassment is harder to address (see number 4 below).

3. Seek mediation

The city offers mediation for neighbors who can’t work things out between themselves or with the help of the management company.

As a Habitat magazine story explains, “Mediation can be extremely useful and cost-effective, and is particularly appropriate for co-op and condo disputes because residents are likely to have continuing relationships with one another in the elevator, gym, laundry room and other common areas. By providing an opportunity for parties to speak in a controlled environment, such as in the managing agent's office, mediation can lessen the hostility when parties inevitably interact in the future.”

4. Go the legal route

If the matter is really out of hand and a neighbor is truly harassing you, you may just have to get the police involved. Even one visit from the police can make a statement that frequently stops the harassment. If the person harassing you is known as the “annoying lunatic” of the building, you’ll probably have a better case, Roberts says.

After an arrest, a judge can issue an order of protection, which can require that someone stay away from you and your apartment. These are usually given in domestic abuse cases, Roberts says, but any sort of harassment is a crime for which an Order of Protection could be issued by a criminal court.

“To obtain an order of protection in Criminal Court, the person must be arrested and there must be a Criminal Court case pending against him," according to the Manhattan District Attorney’s website. "The District Attorney’s Office will request an Order of Protection from the court on your behalf.”

You will be represented by the state and called to testify about your neighbor's behavior. Depending on how long the case takes to wind through the system, it can take up to a few months for an order to be issued.

Among other things, a protection order should order your harassing neighbor not to menace or harass you, to stay away from you, and not to contact you in any way. A judge can also make your harasser pay a fine or make other restitution, and can have him or her arrested if the order of protection is not observed.

Protection orders generally last about a year. Generally speaking, though, they are a last resort for most people, many of whom choose to move instead.

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