Gather round the radium fire

Published September 8, 2011 By
Mark A. Rayner

This is an illustration of what the future might have looked like, circa 1910:

The artist has depicted a genteel scene: Claude and Sophie LaFlippé have invited a few friends over to enjoy their brand new radium fire. (It was to be all the rage in the year 2000, according to the deranged artist, Antoine Villemard, who was best known for his pictures of animals playing lawn darts.)

“I say, Claude, this radium fire of yours is absolutely fabulous. There’s no smell of burning coal and it lights up the entire room,” says the unctuous Paul Rampez.

“Yes, it’s ever so modern,” added his wife, the helpful Zoolee.

“You know, we just had it installed. Say, you don’t suppose they’re planning to modernize our clothes, do you, because that would be boring,” suggested Claude.

“Oh, no, it would be dreadful!” Emile Dingus said as he entered the room. “We’ve had the same mode now for 90 years, and I don’t think I could stand to change. I’m filled with ennui at the thought of fashion returning.”