Adult Babies of Oberlin College: Our Cafeteria Food is Microaggressive Due to Being Poor Exemplars of the Foods of Our Foreign Friends

Oh? You don't like the sushi in the college cafeteria? Not quite up to Tokyo master sushi chef standards?

The Italian is overcooked pasta and watery sauce that doesn't hold together?

The Chinese food tastes like it's just some meat tossed around in a wok with some sugared soy sauce added?

The chefs -- I put it in quotes because "Chef" is a la Francais -- prepare their cordon bleu a bit too indifferently for your liking?

Well then my exquisitely refined Adult Baby friends: Let me what you have on your hands there. What you have discovered in the rear of a college cafeteria is a college cafeteria kitchen.

It's time to restart the draft, whether we need these assholes or not. Of course we don't need them. They would be useless in the field. I'm not even suggesting giving them real weapons.

Just give them some fucking sticks and drop them into Syria.

Time to toughen up, Buttercups. Time to learn that the world is hard and has no room for the weak and stupid.

University dining halls arenít exactly famous for serving gourmet dishes, but Oberlin students say their meals arenít merely bad--they are racially inauthentic, and thus, a form of microaggression.

Itís one thing to quietly gripe about the quality of dorm food (students have likely been doing that for centuries). Itís quite another to accuse the dining room staff of stealing from Asian culture because they didnít prepare the General Tsoís chicken with the correct sauce.

And yet, hereís what one Oberlin student had to say about the dining hallís sushi bar:

"When youíre cooking a country's dish for other people, including ones who have never tried the original dish before, youíre also representing the meaning of the dish as well as its culture," student Tomoyo Joshi told The Oberlin Review. "So if people not from that heritage take food, modify it and serve it as 'authentic,' it is appropriative."

...

The culinary critics at Oberlin...aren't just mad that the cafeteria has appropriated their culture--theyíre mad that it's been appropriated poorly.

"It was ridiculous," student Diep Nguyen told The Oberlin Review (the "it," in question was a banh mi sandwich with the wrong bun). "How could they just throw out something completely different and label it as another countryís traditional food?"

Parachutes. Sticks. Plane. That's all it takes.

We don't even have to spend money for new parachutes. We can use factory irregulars and defective ones. And parachute bags loaded with comically heavy items like anchors, bowling balls, and wall safes.

You sniveling little lunatic c***s.

By the way, Oberlin College is a poorly-made example of something from my heritage: My heritage produced the college system itself.

So... gonna have to shut it down as a appropriative microaggression.

Now get aboard these planes, my soft melted butter bars of uselessness.

We're headed to Syria. If you like pointing out microagressions -- let me tell you, you're in for a real treat.

SHOCK UPDATE: FLASHBACK: BLOGGER POSTS OLD STORY

"I thought it was new," cries blogger caught up in retroappopriation scandal

TRUMP TWEETS: "He didn't check the date. Total bush-league. Total Jeb-Bush-League. People who don't pay attention to details -- THE WORST!"