Dienstag, 21. November 2017

Compliments that are based on throwing shade~

Lately I
have come to think a lot of something that is pretty dear to me.

What if we would stop complimenting and motivating each other by putting somebody else down?

It is a habit that I see a lot more often in women than in men (although that
doesn’t mean they don’t do it too). It is not a secret I think, that females
tend to get a lot more competitive amongst each other – I have seen it first
hand at every tournament I participated in (and it was many) as well as when I
look deep into myself.

It must be something, that is rooted deep into one’s subconscious mind and I am
wondering where it is coming from.

But seeing other women as a threat is not a good mindset to have.

If I were to count the amount of times a female friend has tried to lift my
spirits (be it in regards to appearance, skills, or especially a boy I liked
(and who I didn’t like alone)) by throwing some or quite a lot of shade onto
another woman (“She looks like a rat”, “Her artworks are pretty terrible”,
etc.), I wound need Hydra-fingers.

I just don’t like that.

It makes me feel very uncomfortable, it’s just not right and it doesn’t help
anyone. My friends know how fast I can be to make them stop – I know it is good
intentions, but I rather not get a motivational speech, than a speech like
that.

Tell me how and why I am great, not that somebody else is bad.

Is it really a compliment or motivation when it is at the cost of somebody
else?

If anything, the only thing it doesn’t in my opinion is to surround yourself
with negativity AND subconsciously lets you develop antipathy for another
woman. It makes her a threat and an opponent immediately because you WILL
compare yourself to her. (And in all honesty, I
don’t like being compared much in general)

Instead, maybe it is a better approach to mind your own business and do your
thing – and shine.

Why can we not build each other up in a more positive way that doesn’t include
hating on the work or personality of another human being?