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I lost my husband of 35 years on July 17th, 2009. He was undergoing testing for kidney stones when they discovered a very very small mark at the base of his left lung. After many additional tests they decided it should be removed and the doctor made very light of the operation. The operation took 5-1/2 hrs and he ended up in intensive care for 5 weeks on a respirator. He was awake a total of 4 times and not full days. During that time a staple broke and they had to take him back in OR and operate again, this time packing the area and leaving an opening in his back. The spot was cancer but the lowest grade 1A and was only in the one spot. The doctors kept telling me to keep a positive attitude and he was going to make it but it would be a long haul. On the 17th the doctor called me to reassure me he was doing better and an hour later I got a call from the hospital telling me to come right away since he was very unstable. I could not understand and when I arrived they told me he took a turn for the worse and I had approx 15 minutes to say goodbye. He lasted a half hour and as soon as I told him I would be okay and that it was alright to go, his heart stopped beating and he was gone. We do have older children but it is still so lonely without him. We did everything together. He was the love of my life. He took care of everything and now I have to do all of this and it is so overwhelming. I just exist from day to day and some days I think life is just not worth living without him. We had so many plans of downsizing our home, retiring together and now what do I do.

I would like to say welcome to all of those who have joined us here in the group. I also offer my deepest sympathies. Three months ago today I lost my soul mate. To those who are wondering will it get better, I can't say I know. I will advise you to surround yourself with family, friends and coworkers that understand you. I am fortunate in that Kris and I worked at the same place so we had the same friends and they have been very supportive
To those who are looking for other support, contact your local hospice. Many have volunteer support people that will meet with you as the one I have. They may also offer support groups. I will be starting one next week.
Finally, do not let anyone tell you how you should feel or react to anything. Your emotions are your own and they are right for you. Please keep in touch.

Hello this comment is for susan who just lost her partner of 4 years. Susan it will be rough for awhile but each day will be a little better. My husband died of cancer in april of this year and i watch him go it was very difficult and i miss him terriably but each day seems a little brighter then the last so hang in there and if you need to chat i am here

hello my name is lupe and ive recently lost my husband to a 2 & half year battle to cancer of the throat. He was a smoker for 43 years he says. he went home on Aug, 29th 2009 that was the day our pain just began. it has been extremely painful losing him,. he was everything to us, made us completely happy with the simplest things he did. He was thoughtful, loved spending time with us, camping, hiking, going to the beach at Morro Bay was his favorite spot. I dont know how to go on, but i know we will.

Hi i lost my husband last year 11th Dec 2008. He succumbed to lung cancer. We had four children aged 5, 4,3,11mths.He was a non smoker, non alcoholic. By the time he presented it was in the third stage and advancing fast. somethings wonder why this happened. Every month form 9th -12 i have a low mood and always crying. I can not understand why. I will keep my faith in God to give me the answer. I look at our young children who do not understand a thing. All they know is there dad died.

Today it is 29th august and my dear wife succumbed to cancer on 20th august just before my brothers birthday and to boot it was 2 days before her sisters birthdat so I suppose that she wont forget that in a hurry .
We are now preparing for the funeral
that is all I can add at the moment
Robin

At 11:12am on August 20th, 2009, Jan said…
I would just like to say that I too have had a terrible loss to our family ... but it has been almost four years now and at times it still seems like yesterday ... the pain dulls but never goes away ... and losing my husband to a seven year battle with a brain tumor was a double-edged sword for both myself and our children. Through it all, we never had hospice or counseling for his illness because my husband did not believe he was going to die and we stood strong with him but in his absence we miss him as everyone misses their loved ones when they are no longer here physically. I would also like to say that before my husband passed I spent some time talking with him ... we did have through those seven years many ups and downs ... but in the end there was no greater love for a human being than what he had for us and what we had for him. He was human and wished he could have done things differently but regardless, he knew we were there for him through everything. Everyday, I remind our three children, who were 18, 17 and 14 when he passed, that he is still here with them and always will be a part of them and everything they do. His spirit and soul will help guide them and they will always have a guardian angel on their shoulder. We all have angels who go before us and it is painful ... but we have to try to look for the bright side and find them in everything we do that is good. That is what they would want for us ... I am sure of that ... I tell my children to be strong and the best they can be because they will make their dad proud. They are wonderful children and I am proud of them as well ... God Bless Everyone and may you get the strength and support you need each and every day! Delete Comment

hello I am going through the process of being bereaved at the moment, my darling wife whom had been with me for the past 32 years is now dying of cancer
she was admitted to the hospice last thursday and now I keep on weeping!
no 2 weeks ago my sister was down here lasat week and now the consultant says there is no more hope
any suggestions what I can do.
I am still a young man
My eldest sister died of cancer in 1998 and my mother died in 1962,
what next? I ask myself