Sunday, November 10

"realizing I deserved better changed everything"

New relationships.

It's like my friend Debbie said, "I've been in three Facebook official relationships in my life. After each one, I've thought to myself NEVER AGAIN."

And then, you know, it's been a few weeks and and you find yourself doing the thing you swore you wouldn't do it again unless you thought really hard about it and reached the point where you expected at least a 6 month long expiration date into the future at minimum. Because isn't it the most embarrassing feeling in the world to change your status back to single and slam your computer screen down only to receive three texts in the next hour about it? Once everyone KNOWS, there's no going back.

But but but.

Here it goes. Square one. Public and fearless and armed with a don't-even-care who knows attitude. If my life were a TV series, I would be Seth Cohen standing on a coffee cart declaring my affection wanting everyone to know that I'm in this. Did I just say that? I'm in this. I've gotten really good at listening to my gut. It doesn't mean I always follow through with what it tells me to do and it doesn't mean I always back out before I get myself into corner, but when I do, I'm usually right. I was scared, I was scared, I was scared. But I was right. I was right about it being good and I was wrong when I thought I knew what being treated right felt like. Maybe that's sort of the best part about starting over with someone new- you forget about all the rules and things you told yourself you would do next time. The type of guy you are attracted to may have evolved into a floppy haired music major who in your first week of dating received calls from his mom twice when you were together and texted you THE DAY AFTER you hung out the first time, but when it comes to the rest you forget about the risks and bad parts of old relationships. You swore you'd never blog about a relationship EVER again, and there you have it. Facebook Official and blogged about in the same week. It's NEW, baby, and it sparkles like a firework. Or something dumb like that.

Also, as if I needed better proof than my gut instinct was possible of curating a happy bubble that can't be burst, I'm a lot closer to my TV series dream life than I even realized before I started dating my sort of real life Seth Cohen. And this morning I was notified that our celebrity couple name has two impeccably beautiful options: Saggie or Meth.

11 comments:

DEAR WORLD OF COMMENTERS WHO LOOK AT THIS, I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ORIGIN OF THOSE BEAUTIFUL SHIP NAMES, NBD.

But really.

Facebook officiality is weird. Like, I texted you about this. It seems dumb and unnecessary until you're like "wait, but I want everyone to know that I'm in this with this awesome person" and it's scary to think about the potential for having to then remove that some day but you know, living in the present is a thing.

I have not had the same experience with Facebook relationship stuff, but I think I can see where you're coming from and admire your don't-care attitude. Life is too short to worry if you're doing the right thing; you just have to live and as you said, trust your gut.

Every time my name appears in your blog I get the butterflies in the stomach like I'm in seventh grade in the lunch line and the floppy-haired, brace-faced, basketball-shorted perfect-male-13-year-old-specimen just turned around to ask me, "are you like, going to the fair tonight? Cool. I'm showing my sheep, so maybe you could come say hi."

(this scenario never actually happened, I'm just saying that what I imagine it to feel like? this. Just like this.)