Scale is going the wrong way :-(

Friday, November 29, 2013

I weighed myself this morning and saw a 2 pound weight gain on top of the previous pound gained. UGH!! I have got to get a new mindset because I am eating so many cookies that sometimes it is my supper.

A couple months ago, I got hooked on Kirklands Eureopean Cookies available at Costco and was eating them like there was no tomorrow. After the third container and a couple pounds later, I realized that they did not really taste good anymore, but I kept eating them and found it difficult to stop.

So I stopped buying them, then my hubby had to fuel his addiction to the things and stocked up on them. While he was hunting I managed to avoid the stash. I was not even tempted because I reminded myself how they did not really taste that good to me any more.

I was so happy that I was able to avoid the temptation for the three weeks he was away. What happens as soon as he returns? That is right, a container gets opened. The first thing he does is separates the ones he cannot eat because of his allergies and gives them to me.

I was able to ignore them for a couple of days, but I broke last night and ate them and then I hit his stash. This is just a sugar addiction. I cannot imagine what it must be like for a person who is addicted to drugs and wants to stop. I know I shouldn't eat so many but I keep stuffing them in my mouth.

Despite the higher number on the scale, it is not all bad news. This past month, I was working outside in the yard and got a bit dehydrated. My scale measures things such as BMI, hydration %, body fat %, bone mass and muscle mass. These past couple of weeks the hydration % had dropped 3% and I have been making an effort to make sure I am drinking more water throughout the day. That number was up 1 % this morning. In addition to that there was also a 2 pound gain in the muscle mass.

I do not like seeing the number creep up like it has been doing because the body fat % also went up. I have to get a strong mindset because not only do I need to battle internally, but I have to deal with the outside influences also. For instance, there is this candy shop we always stop in on our way to our cabin. When my hubby returned from hunting he handed me a bag of chocolates and said, "I know you don't like it when I bring you home chocolate, but I bought these for you."

That has been an issue with me for years, I get no support from him. He has 100+ pounds to lose and he makes no effort to lose weight. I don't cook all of his meals because we are so different - he is a night person and I am a morning person. So breakfasts are to each his own. He will usually make sausage, hashbrowns and eggs for his breakfast. All the meaty fatty stuff that he enjoys. I won't make that, I have oatmeal and berries.

Once I asked him why he doesn't eat healthier choices when he cooks for himself and he told me it is because I do not cook all his meals for him. Lesson for me, I ought not be blaming him for eating the chocolate he brought me, I made the choice to eat it. It was my decision and I cannot be dependent on others making the right choices for me.

Well, there is my vent for the month. I hope I got it out of my system because this negativity is really bringing me down and frustrating me.

I'm right there with you! I made a roll of Tollhouse chocolate chip cookie dough and have been eating it for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks! I'm feeling sick as a dog. Time to put the fork down and get back on track. Let's do it together.