It has been a very philosophical morning at The House on the Hill, Modern Philosophers.

I went out early to mow the lawn, before the heat and humidity could melt me into a useless lake of sweat, and I didn’t expect the Deep Thoughts to flow as powerfully as they did.

Perhaps my brain was rewarding me for finally not going in on a Saturday to work overtime. Maybe it was the first decent night’s sleep I’ve had it weeks.

Whatever the reason, the Deep Thoughts were flowing and I thought I’d preserve them for eternity in memes.

Your life is like your lawn…if you don’t tend to it regularly, it will get so out of control that eventually no one will want to deal with it.

Clearly, this quote was inspired by the mowing of my front lawn. As you can see from the above meme, I did a damn good job cutting the grass this morning.

Despite all the hard work I’ve put in over the past several months to live a more positive life, things have been extremely challenging lately. Part of me wants to keep up the fight and rise above it, but there’s also a part of me that wants to surrender to the darkness.

I have assumed that working 105 hours over the past two weeks is a sure sign that the warrior in me is still battling. But what if all that overtime is really just me running from the fight and using work as an excuse to not face the problems that plague me?

I slept on the couch last night for the first time in ages, and when I woke up, I immediately wanted to apologize to my significant other. That’s when I remembered I live alone…

That one didn’t get a meme, but it was another silly thought that popped into my head.

Yes, I did sleep on the couch last night because it’s at least ten degrees cooler in the living room than it is up in my bedroom.

I was definitely amused by the fact that when I woke up there, instinct took over and I assumed I needed to apologize. After all, banishment to the couch is a stiff penalty that usually fits the crime.

Of course, it got me to thinking that I’ve been doing a lot of apologizing lately. As part of my more positive approach to life, I have done my best to avoid conflict by not engaging. Sometimes, the best way to just end an argument before it gets to the point that I’m sleeping on the couch is to simply apologize.

I guess I’ve found myself wanting to apologize less and stand up for myself more, but that act, although a positive one in my mind, can often add fuel to the fire.

When you truly love someone, you will not only fight for her, but you will occasionally fight with her as well…

This one, Modern Philosophers, has been the story of my life lately.

When I was married to J, I would fight with her at the drop of a hat. I was young, foolish, and words were my thing, so I felt I had to always get in the last one and win every damn fight.

Obviously, that idiotic strategy did not work out for me.

I have worked very hard to no longer use words as my weapon of choice and become a conscientious objector to the war on words. Sometimes, though, silence can be perceived as being just as powerful as the words you do not say. And sometimes, saying something to defuse a situation only makes it worse.

Is it wrong for me to say that it’s natural to fight in any relationship? Two people, no matter how much they love each other, will not agree 100% of the time.

There are moments when I feel like I need to draw a line in the sand and just pray that it will not get crossed.

Trust me, at this point in my life, I’m not looking for a fight. I am, however, looking to defend a vision of the future that is very dear to my heart.

In the end, I did what I thought I had to because I loved someone with all my heart and wanted that love to last forever.

I’m not sure if any of this makes sense, but it’s out there on the internet right now, so it must be true, right?

Do you have any Deep Thoughts on what I’ve discussed in this post? Do you ever make memes based on your Deep Thoughts?

I take exception to the notion that people in a committed relationship (or any relationship for that matter) MUST fight. While I agree that one will rarely agree with one’s partner on everything, I think we can resolve differences without argument or anger. I’m not saying you have to do that, but I have been told directly or by implication that my husband and I are wrong for almost never fighting (except for the silly argument: We never fight. Yes we do! No we don’t!). However, I will never say everyone has to be like me and Steve (as if they could; we are kind of weird). Good deep thoughts. They distracted me from working on my own blog post for a while.

Great discussion piece you’ve written. When I was younger, I used to argue with partners, sulk, have tantrums, storm out of the house and generally be an ass. It was usually because my my partner had not lived up to my expectations in some way (usually expectations I kept secret!!!!!😀)

Now I am older, I realise that people aren’t here to live up to expectations they may not even be aware of and, it is a real privilege if someone chooses to share their life with you. It is so wrong to make demands about what another person should or should not do to please you – if you are right for each other, partners ‘do all the right things’ because they WANT to, not because they’ve been nagged into line.

i know so many women who want partners but can’t find ‘the one’ that I feel really lucky to share my life with someone. I nurture that and wouldn’t dream of wasting a single minute on making either of us miserable with angry words. There are some advantages to getting older and I guess this one of them. 😀

Fights happen because people see things differently. They often have different perspectives. From what I have seen in my own life and from watching other people is that, fairly often, disagreements signify that there is a problem that needs to be solved. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t recognize that because they see it as a fight that needs to be ‘won.’ Being able to make that distinction is often a matter of maturity. My Deep Thoughts about your post are a reminder that winning fights make for bad feeling, while working together to solve problems can often strengthen a bond.

I feel much the same way. I have hoped that we could work out some issues, and I finally “got tough” and it came back to bite me on the ass. I just want love to be enough as I’m willing to work on anything to keep us happy…

Love is never enough, there has to be more – respect, empathy, trust to name a few. Trying to have someone live up to your own fantasy of how a loving relationship should be is a dangerous game, it alienates the other person and will frustrate you. If you are having to work that hard perhaps it wasn’t meant to be .. I say this with love and empathy x

I am not a fan of the thinking that we need to say what’s on our mind and clear the air. In the heat of the moment, words are filled with emotion and can never be retracted. Each person may make promises they can’t keep, like how they will change, or feign understanding when they really don’t get it. Sometimes, we just need to give each other space, find a way to adapt to behaviors we may not like and choose how to react rather than responding with emotion. Just because you love someone does not mean you love everything about them. Some things just come with the package and cannot be argued away.