Opinion

In Sickness and in Health: the joys of Netflix

In 2014, Rebecca’s husband Nick was hit by a car and seriously injured. Here, in one of a series of columns, she writes about the aftermath of his accident

Whether it’s in person or over the phone, most of our conversations end up with Nick saying one of two things. The first is “I want to buy…”, and is followed by the name of a gadget, an app or a movie.

The second is “I miss…” More often than not, I put up a feeble defence against the first, before capitulating. And when Nick sadly tells me what he misses, I usually try and find an upside, or jolly him along by telling him how much better he is and how well he’s doing.

How annoying it must be for him. Sometimes, if I’m annoyed or upset, it’s great to talk to someone who is full of positivity and suggestions.

Mostly, it’s infuriating. I want to express what’s wrong, and acknowledge what’s making me sad, or just have a wallow, rather than being given a pep talk. In that spirit, I asked Nick if he’d like me to write about what he misses most about life since the accident.

Our flat
Living in London
Driving
Climbing
Swimming
Being able to move myself
Making decisions for myself
Not relying on other people to help me
Being able to buy daft things without Rebecca stopping me
Privacy – there’s no privacy in a care home. I just want to do things by myself
Cooking meals
Flying
Working in the games industry
Travelling for work – I used to go to Los Angeles every year
Going on holiday to Fort Belan (a holiday rental in North Wales where Nick has spent some of his happiest times)
Going on holiday abroad
Snowboarding
Living with our cat, Badger, and our tortoise, Nim
Seeing Rebecca every day
My independence

Neither of us had entirely dry eyes at the end of his list. I apologised for always trying to put a cheery spin on everything, and explained that there are things that I miss, too, but it was his time to open up, not mine.

That didn’t stop me from wanting to give our conversation a happy ending, though. More in hope than expectation, I asked whether there was anything that he could still do that he was pleased about.

Doing physio – I know it makes me better
Watching TV (we just bought a monster TV for the bungalow we rent, and Nick has discovered Netflix, as well as being in love with his new Amazon Fire stick)
My fishtank

We were having our chat round the kitchen table at my parents’ house. In the background, my stepmother was filling the dishwasher.

“There’s one thing that’s not so bad about your situation Nick, I suppose,” I said.

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