Archives for July 2016

My dad is what some people would call eccentric. A great writer, computer brain and general know it all, he’s special in many ways. I’ve shared his gems of wisdom previously, such as this little haiku he wrote on turning 75:

On being 75 Today:

Clouding of the corneaCan only read with spectacles
And each day getting hornier
(My toenails, not my testicles).’

Shared on Twitter, to his 4,741 followers. It’s almost (almost) like he’s famous. @chbid

In his honour, I felt it was right, on my food blog, to share his wisdom on the much-loved beverage Tea. More to the point, on tea stains, and how to avoid them. Originally sent on WhatsApp, it made me chuckle so much I thought it was only kind to share.

Dearest Evie,

In most respects you are superior to me, and that is as it should be: evolution at work. But there is one matter where my experience and wisdom far outweigh yours. I’m speaking, of course, of the question of tea-strainers.

And the closely related issue of tea stains.

Tea stains are easily removed from our white kitchen worktop by the application of “Bar Keeper’s Friend”. But it is important to bear in mind that each application of what is, after all, a powerful bleaching powder, causes incremental damage to the surface. This harsh treatment is best avoided whenever possible.

My own tactic is never to leave a loaded tea-strainer on the white surface. Upon having poured the tea through the strainer I will always immediately convey the strainer to the food bin, tipping it upside down and tapping out the contents.

It is the work of a moment then to rinse the strainer under the kitchen tap, turning it right way up and upside down under the flow of water to remove every last vestige of the tea-leaves. Knocking the handle a couple of times against the edge of the sink to shake off excess water, I can then immediately return the strainer to its place, hanging behind the (sadly currently absent) coffee machine.

This procedure can easily be accomplished within a matter of seconds, avoiding staining of the work surface and its necessary subsequent deterioration as a consequence of the application of damaging blanching agents.

I hope this advice is helpful. Evolution operates through genetic transfer, but its necessary adjunct, tribal wisdom, is conveyed through family culture. Thus we are all made stronger.

So folks…what can you learn from my father? How to write haikus on testicles, and how to avoid tea stains. Goodbye and goodnight.