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I've been reading the threads on here for quite some time and it has truly helped me put my mind at ease somewhat as far as hiv infection goes yet I am still concerned due to an ongoing symptom which is hoarseness in the throat as well as a click or feeling of a lump when swallowing....

I'm still in the "exploration" phase of same sex encounters and to date have been with 5 guys, with all of which I was a top and had protected sex however received unprotected oral and gave unprotected oral with possible precum with some but no ejaculation and fairly brief, under 3 mins...

Based on these experiences and what I've been reading on here all this time tells me that I'm in the very low risk category to the point where it would be optional for me to even test for hiv...(please correct me if I'm wrong)

I am trying very hard to accept this but what has me worried besides this existing throat symptom (that has been persisting over a year now) is that about a couple of weeks after my last giving oral with possible precum encounter, over a year ago as well, I didn't develop a fever but i did have ongoing malaise for a couple of weeks, I also developed these small red patches at the base of my penis that slightly spread and then went away and hasn't come back. The closest images that i could find that resembled what I had online were images of penises infected with yeast. The only thing is it didn't feel painful or itchy as having penile yeast describes...The only testing i did after this was for gonorrhea and hep C but not Hiv or chlamydia,which came back negative...Another symptom that developed that I never had b4 were these localised itchy rashes that would take a month or more to go away, the first was on my upper right thigh which was a distinct circular patch and the next one being on my forehead over my right brow again with a distinct round lining, this one took more than a month to go away...(sebhorric dermatitis?)

Also occurring since then and to this present day I get cankers more often now and every once in a while my inner cheek on either side will get a little painless purple blood blister that will be there when I look in the morning or when I notice it and then gone hours later or the next day.

Based on the symptoms described, would I be able to find out what could be causing this, be it hiv, an sti or anxiety and stress?

Also could having the malaise alone as well as groin pain with no swelling be indicative of ARS at all?

I am sorry for this lengthy post but I needed to get this out because I need to get closure on this and would really like to get some encouragement to get hiv testing...

Also thank you for this forum and the countless hours of time all of you provide to all of us worry wells, the reassuring remarks have helped ease a lot of stress for me...

Receiving a blow job is not a risk for HIV transmission. Giving a blow job is of such low risk that in real terms, it's not a risk for HIV tranmission either. Other STD's such chlamydia, gonorrhoea and NSU are much more infectious than HIV and can be transmitted via oral sex, either receptive or insertive.

There are no specific symptoms of HIV infection, which is why we don't focus on symptoms as an indicator to whether you may or may not have it. Rather we focus on risk behaviours. Should you test for HIV from these incidents? Well, not because of them specifically. If you've been sexually active in the past with men or women, then it's probably a good idea to have a full STD check done if you haven't already. Remember to read our Welcome Thread.

While getting tested over any one specific encounter would be optional for you, what is NOT optional is regular, routine sexual health care check-ups.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

As symptoms or the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv (and other STIs as well), it's always wise to have regular screenings. Hiv is nothing to guess about.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I can't believe I am writing this as I thought I had more self control but I made a terrible mistake and gave in to a brief period of unprotected insertive anal with a friend this morning as I was out of condoms from the night before...It is now 12:21 am and the incident occurred this morning at about 9am. It lasted about 5-8 mins and finished with me ejaculating inside him while he was on top. I know this person well so I believe him when he says that he last tested in Sept with his former partner and they both tested negative. He has currently broke up with this person but is adamant that he has had protected sex with him every time since they tested negative.As for myself, I've tested negative in the summer and have only been with one other person whom I know well and have only given oral to with no ejaculation one time preceding this incident. I realise that seeing as there is minimal to no risk from my end it still wasn't right for me to do what I did this morning but we were both caught in the heat of the moment and now it's done. He's known me a long time and trusts me which was why he consented to the unsafe act with me.Even though his history of always being safe is somewhat reassuring, I am still terrified that I might have contracted hiv and am unsure if I should do the PEP treatment while still in the 72 hr window period.(I am also uncut).I have done the research online and know that there is less risk for the insertive partner but it is still recommending I should be taking PEP. I would really appreciate some professional advice based on the information I have given if I am a candidate for PEP, I am really confused at this point on what to do as I know that this medication is very potent and needs to be taken continuously for 28 days and could have some terrible side effects. Please someone get back soon!

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

PEP for the insertive partner is usually only recommended when the bottom is known to be hiv positive. I suggest you see a doctor and discuss your situation - but I really don't see a need for PEP. I would fully expect you to test negative over this one-time insertive encounter.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Sorry about the posting error...Thank you for your advice, I think your right,I might just have to assume he's negative and hope for a negative result come testing time. Now I remember why I always use condoms,to avoid sitiuations like this...Also a general thanks to you and your team for all the timely help you provide on this site, it really helps for closeted people like myself that have a limited amount of contacts to discuss these issues...

You can test for peace of mind at the six week point, as the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by this time. A six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change. I do expect you to test negative.

If you find yourself running out of condoms frequently (and I know how frustrating that can be) you might want to buy in bulk from an internet site. You can often save a bit of money buying them this way, and the packaging is very discreet - you'd never know the package contained condoms.

Good luck and try to not worry too much over this. And whatever you do, do NOT go symptom hunting on the internet!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks for that advice, I'll try to hold baclk on the symptom hunting .. I just had another question that I can't seem to find the answer to in the welcome threads being what the statistical ratio would be for contracting hiv as the insertive top with someone known to be positive? On thebody.com it states that it is 6.5 per 10000 exposures and another site was saying 1 in 500... Just pretty confused about it.

We don't go by those often quoted (on other sites) numbers as they were pretty much pulled out of thin air. They used conjecture and conjecture is hardly a scientific method. Hiv infection could happen the very first time someone has unprotected intercourse, or it may not happen until they've had unprotected intercourse for the 1,000th time. And that goes for both top and bottom.

What we can say with certainty is that is it much more difficult for the top to become infected. This, however, does NOT mean it's safe to be complacent and go without condoms. Play with fire and sooner or later you'll get burnt.

I still fully expect you to test negative following this one time insertive encounter.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Unfortunately I'm back with another unsafe sex episode question. I've been with the same friend as I've been with in the past when I've last posted on here, and yet once again it has been without protection. I was the insertive top and I am also uncut. We used plenty of lube, the "Durex Play" brand, not sure if this is good or bad due to some recent articles I've been reading stating that lube actually now increases the chances of hiv transmission. It finished with him on top and me cumming inside him...

As for my status, I tested again after my last unsafe encounter with him and it came back negative. I've been with him only after the test which was twice, the first time was with protection and this time which wasn't...

As for his history he stated to me that he tested negative 2 weeks ago and hasn't been with anyone since. When I asked if his test was 3-6 months after his last hook up he told me no but was adamant that it was always safe. I believe what he is saying about testing negative 2 weeks ago but I am concerned about how safe he was with his other partners.

Based on this info my question is: Seeing as his test was less than 3 months after his last hook up, how reassuring is it that he will continue to test negative if he by chance wasn't safe and was with someone who was infected? Also,what would be the chances of it being transmitted to myself? Sorry, that's two questions...

When are you going to wise up and start using condoms - when you finally test positive and have to use them to protect your partners?

Until you're in a monogamous relationship where you have BOTH tested hiv negative TOGETHER, you need to be using condoms. You can't go by what someone else tells you about their hiv status. You just can't.

While your risk is on the lower side of things as the insertive partner, tops become hiv positive all the time too. If you keep having unprotected intercourse with people whose hiv status you're unsure of, it just might happen to you.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Just want to chime in and reinforce Ann's comments. No matter how exciting sex is in the moment, remember that HIV is forever.

Never mind about getting reassurance from your partner(s) about being negative or safe or whatever. You are the person who is responsible for your own health. So if you care about your health and staying alive then you need to use a condom everytime for intercourse.

This epidemic will never end until practicing safer sex consistently becomes the norm. I can tell you it is a sad and frustrating thing to see someone like you careening towards becoming infected. It really is.

It seems as if continuing your same ways that one of these days you'll inevitably just be another newbie in "newly infected."

This was only the second time I've ever done this in my life, the first time being from my earlier post and it was with the same person. I only considered doing this with him because he's my only fuck buddy and I've known him awhile so I believed him when he said he tested negative 2 weeks ago.(I know this still doesn't make it right). I am a pretty paranoid guy and would never even consider doing something like this with a random hookup, I don't even hookup for safe sex with anyone because I'm worried about catching something. He's the only person I've been with in 3 years...

That being said this was still a foolish act on my part and just because I'm only intimate with this one person, it doesn't mean that he is so I should be using protection every time. I think this has finally sunken in and I will always be using protection from here on in. Thank you both for not sugar coating this and giving me a reality check, I am just going to have to think worse case scenario here and assume that he is positive and hopefully come out negative at the three month mark...

Thank you both once again and I promise to update my results come the three month mark...Hopefully, it won't be a newbie post...Just one last question if you don't mind, should I bother testing any sooner than 3 months just to get someearly peace of mind?

You can test at 6 weeks for an initial result. If you test negative at that point the likelihood is that you will continue to test negative since all but the very smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure.

The earliest you should test is at six weeks. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by this time, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

Good luck with the testing and PLEASE - get into the habit of using condoms!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Trust me, condoms are happenning EVERY time from now on...I just wanted to give some updated info regarding my partners test, hetold me that he tested negative 4 weeks after his last safe hook up, and was with me 2 weeks later with no one in between. I do believe him so hopefully I'm in the clear for hiv.

I do have a concern however, it's been a week since the incident and I have a slight sore on the side of my tongue in the back. When I checked it in the mirror I noticed a dark red spot with a some white colour as well, this came on today.I automatically started thing of ARS and thrush. Is it possible for this to happen alone without the other symptoms? I gave him oral as well am wondering If that could have caused it. He said he tested for everything but I am wondering if penile yeast is included in it...Could it also be stress induced as I've been a nervous wreck?

What you describe sounds nothing like oral thrush (I've had it myself). What it does sound like is possible syphilis. Yes, you can get syphilis in the oral cavity.

Syphilis shares the same three month testing window with hiv, so get a syphilis test done too when you test at three months. You should be getting ALL the STIs checked out at least once a year anyway - as I told you five years ago in reply #2. You should have had at least four or five COMPLETE sexual health check-ups since that time. Have you?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks for the reply.No I haven't had that many tests,but that is because I haven't been very sexually active since my last test. I should have tested one more time however because I did have one more incident with another well known person that involved receptive oral only on my part. After that it has been exclusively with the person I am speaking of now. My last test was for everything and it all came negative.

According to my partner he has had the full testing done as well and was all clear.I was looking at it again this morning and I think I might have been overreacting. I never look back there and I know that the tongue starts getting pretty nasty when you get to the back of it...

I know that I shouldn't be symptom hunting so I will hold off on asking anymore dumb questions about symptoms because as stated on here the presence or ab sense of them means nothing until you actually get tested, which I promise I will for everything, not just HIV.

I know the last thing you want to hear as someone who is living with HIV and actually experienced REAL symptoms is listening to someones nonexistent symptoms. I've been on these forums long enough and have been told numerous times not to symptom hunt. My anxiety got the better of me and I reacted by posting.That will be the last time and I didn't mean any disrespect.

I really appreciate what you and all of the other experts do on here and am really glad I have somewhere to go to get informed timely advice regarding safe sex practices and information on HIV and other STI's...

I also know that this shouldn't be abused so you won't hear from me anymore until my test results...

Hi again,Sorry, I know I said you wouldn't here from me again until I tested but I was hoping to get a little reassurance. The last time I posted about my risky encounter with the same partner I was told that you would fully expected me to test negative over the one time incident. Do you still expect the same result over this second incident based on the info I provided?

Incident one was about blowjobs. Incident 2 was about unprotected anal. They are not the same. The latter is significantly risky behavior.

Given that it was a single incident and the insertive partner is at less risk are in your favor. But low risk is not the same thing as no risk. Odds are you will test negative. But we don't have crystal balls here so you're just going to have to wait for your results to be sure that hopefully you have scooted by safely this time.

Hi Andy,I was referring to my post from Dec 29 2009, it was the first time I did insertive anal unprotected.This time is the second and only time and with the same person. Rapid Rod is right, I am repeating myself here because I'm in the exact same situation this time so the risk is the same as before. Thanks for the replying though, it helped.

There was a question I was meaning to ask about my partners negative 4 week test. His previous encounter before he was with me was a safe one, which I believe. But looking at it from a worst case scenario standpoint, if it had been unprotected and he was with someone with a positive status, would a 4 week negative test likely change at the 6 week mark? He is a bottom btw...

Knock it off. You can NEVER go by what someone else says about their hiv status. No matter how well-meaning they might be, you simply cannot trust what someone tells you about their hiv status.

You're just going to have to test at the appropriate time. Tough cahoneys if you think you cant wait. You'll have to. Maybe you'll wise up and use condoms next time - if you're lucky enough to HAVE a next time.

Sorry, you won't get any sympathy here. We've already told you the score.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Sorry to be posting again but I have some concern over a recent incident with the same person but this time only receptive oral was involved without cumming, but possibly precum. I was with him earlier in the week and for the past couple of days I have come down with a bad sore throat, but don't have any other symptoms such as a fever or swollen nodes that I am aware of or rashes.

I am mentioning the other symptoms because it has now been two weeks since my earlier unprotected anal incident with this person so it now puts me into the window period for possible ARS symptoms.

Basically my concerns right now is if this sore throat I have is either the beginnings of ARS, oral Gonorrhea, or something that is developing further from when I posted regarding my tongue symptom and Anne saying that it could possibly be Syphilis, I still haven't ruled that out...

I know exactly what I have to do however, I will be going to get tested tommorrow for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia, and as Anne mentioned earlier, test for Syphilis along with HIV at the 3 month mark. I do intend to test for HIV at 6 weeks though, as a negative result by then is unlikely to change. Would I be able to test for Syphilis around then as well?

Also, is it possible to come down with Syphilis or Gonorrhea first and then come down with ARS as well later on?

■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks for the reply. I ended up doing the swab tests for both gonorrhea and chlamydia as well as a urine sample, syphilis test and 2 shots for hep a and b which I will need to go back and get more later on...I should know the results in a few more days.

As for the sore throat it is still here and just as bad as it was before and it really has me worried. Ive had strep and mono before and this feels totally different because there's no fever or swollen glands, just a dry burning pain with some itchiness on the roof of my mouth.

I am hoping at this point for a positive result for the swab tests because I am concerned that this may be a symptom of ARS since it's within the right timeline to happen.

Is there any way that this can be the only symptom if It were ARS? I'm sorry for this post but I've never had something like this and it has me really confused and worried.

You can not have ARS since you have not engaged in behavior that transmits HIV.

I fail to understand how this does not compute.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

ARS, when it happens, and it absolutely DOES NOT happen to everyone, it NOT located in a specific portion of the body. It is the body's immune system (which includes the entire lymphatic system) responding to, and developing antibodies against a pathogen.

That is why, when you get the flu, you have a fever, generalized body aches, and other non-specific symptoms. It's not the flu you feel, but your body's defense mounting against it. For some people, these symptoms are mild to non-existent. For others, myself included, they are profound - We are talking raging fevers with mild hallucinations, sweats, without specific symptoms such as throat issues or coughing. And, of course, they went away in about a week or so. It's RARE for ARS to last longer than ten days, and because it mimics almost every other pathogen (or more accurately, every other immune system's response to a pathogen) it is patently impossible to diagnose HIV through symptoms.

I agree with Andy, in that your risk was there, but not great. You will simply have to test at the appropriate time. There is simply no more to be said about that.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

I totally agree with Jonathan. The symptoms that some people experience when they're seroconverting are not due to the virus itself. They are due to the process the body goes through while producing antibodies - the immune response that Jonathan talked about. That is why they are so general, non-specific and flu-like.

Like Jonathan, I also had a horrific seroconversion experience with a fever over 104 - and I felt like I'd been run over by a truck. I couldn't get out of bed for a few days (yep, not even for the toilet. Had to throw my mattress out afterwards), but I had no sore throat. I felt like I had the worst flu ever. It lasted for less than a week (thank god!).

I'm glad to hear you had your Hep A and B vaccinations. Promise me that no matter what the outcome, you will be proactive with your sexual health going forward and will make sexual health check-ups a yearly (at least) routine. Make sure you get the additional hep B vaccinations and that you are checked to make sure you've developed the necessary antibodies after the process. It wouldn't hurt to also test for hep C. There is no vaccination against hep C, unfortunately.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

And thanks for sharing you personal experiences with ARS. I kind of feel bad for thinking that I may still have it after reading that, but from what I've been told it seems like it could still be possible that I may one of the few that are experiencing a milder form of it. The thing that is pretty prominent is the sore throat but I am also feeling heaviness in my groin and can actually feel a hard small node on my ribcage. As well I feel like I have some swelling in the area of my liver. I may have missed some of the other symptoms but the one thing that I can say for certain that I haven't experienced as of yet is a fever, if that even matters. Tommorrow will be the the three week mark since the exposure so hopefully the worst is over.

You words have been somewhat reassuring so thanks for that, but I am still thinking the worst and that I have contracted it. My partner isn't even talking to me about it anymore and being pretty unsupportive of my situation. This is raising some alarm bells for me because he was in the riskier situation as the bottom and is pretty comfortable with his risk even after taking a load in him twice with me. I am now questioning the truthfulness to his negative diagnosis.

Anyways, this getting long winded and I know it takes two to tango so I have to love with the outcome either way.

Just a quick update and another question if possible.I ended up testing negative for Gonohrrea and Chlamydia which is good news.As for my question , its within regards so the sore throat I had earlier. It went away the next week and progressed into a head cold with lots of mucus in my sinuses and a bit in my chest. This took about another week to go away and I still have traces of it. Can I be somewhat reassured that this wasn't ARS due to the fact that it developed into my sinuses without any fever?

Or can ARS happen with this as well since It's said that ARS has no symptoms?I am just confused that maybe this still could have been a milder form of it.I have 2 more weeks to be at the 6 week point for my HIV test and I am countin the days.

You are allowing your fears to make this situation more complicated than it has to be. Nothing you are reporting symptomatically is in any way HIV specific.

And right now you are misinterpreting anything that happens to you physically as yet another sign of HIV.

You have a bit more time to wait until you can test. In the meantime get busy with other things in your life. Don't bother saying you're too worried to do that because that response will not fly here. Just do it.

There's really nothing more for us to say at this point. You had a risk and you have to wait to get tested. If you test negative at 6 weeks then the likelihood is that you will continue to test negative.

Ok thanks. I just felt a bit relieved when I moved up to my sinuses because I keep reading that ARS symptoms are flu like and not cold like. I get what you say that it isn't HIV specific but that is still kind of telling me that it's possible. If it is that's fine, I would just like to know one way or another.

Sorry if I'm being a pest but I'm still confused. I promise it's my last question until I test. I know I'm probably on thin ice.

I just wanted to give an update from my unprotected anal episode on Nov. 18Th 2011.

It's been roughly 7 weeks now and I just had a rapid test done at the clinic.The result was negative!

Of course I will be getting this confirmed in three months along with a syphilis test but at the moment I am pretty relieved to say the least.

From similar posts I've read on here I know that my results at this point are highly unlikely to change and any ARS symptoms that I may have been feeling up until now would have most likely indicated a positive result on the test. (Please correct me if I'm wrong )

I really appreciate all of your help and support for getting me through this. Hopefully I will be back with more good news next month.