Psychology for Photographers and other Creative Professionalshttps://psychologyforphotographers.com
understand people, be a more successful creative entrepreneurTue, 20 Jun 2017 19:51:23 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.7.5Psychologyforphotographerscomhttps://feedburner.google.comAre You Asking Too Much of People?http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Psychologyforphotographerscom/~3/rHEiZRa8BMU/asking-much-people
https://psychologyforphotographers.com/asking-much-people#commentsThu, 15 Jun 2017 20:19:12 +0000https://psychologyforphotographers.com/?p=10968I stared at the ticket website on my phone. Then called out to my husband – “I absolutely cannot make one more decision.” We had arrived in Oslo, Norway, and pulled up to our Airbnb in a rental car. We wanted to go downtown to see an art museum, so I found the public transit […]

OK, paper tickets are $2.60 more apiece more if you buy on board. Let’s get them in advance. Only sold at major train stops – shoot, we had to drive in. Wait, you can also buy them at convenience stores.

Shoot, the convenience store ones are only the reloadable kind that cost $6 for the card alone. We’ll only be here 2 days, wait, how many rides do we need? Oh good grief. How much is parking at the museum? All the parking garage info is in Norwegian, gotta pull up Google Translate.

This sort of dilemma is par for the course on international travel. You get into a new city or country and navigate languages, websites, currencies, and logistics to get where you’re going. It’s not really a big deal most of the time – you just have to step into the flow of how that place runs.

Except that this was Day 13 of the trip. We had faced dilemmas like this every single day, sometimes multiple times per day. My brain had been in constant “is it better to get the day pass or pay for each ride?” mode for nearly two weeks straight.

You can only price-and-time-optimize so many things in the course of two weeks, and I absolutely could not choose one more thing. I didn’t care how much it cost. I didn’t even care if we stayed in the Airbnb and did nothing. I. Could. Not. Make. One. More. Optimizing. Choice.

There’s something you need to know:

When a potential client arrives at your doorstep, it’s sort of like they’re arriving in a new city and new country.

They see a new system for doing things. New information to sift through. Even a new language – “What is a wall print versus a wall portrait? What is the ‘Swept Away Session’ versus the ‘Sail Into The Sunset Session?'” This is all before they even hire you and have to decide other things (wardrobes, color schemes, priorities, locations, gallery wraps versus metal prints, etc).

No matter how intuitive you think your site and offerings are, it will require some translation and decision-making skills.

And the ability to sort through info and make decisions is absolutely limited.

What I experienced in Norway is not unlike what we experience every day: Decision fatigue. It’s real. Mental energy is limited, and you make withdrawals from that tank every time you expend effort of deciding what you want and weighing the merits of available options.

(They’ve even found that judges are more likely to grant parole to prisoners who appeared in court first thing in the morning or right after a refreshing lunch break, rather than late in the day when the judge was tired from studying complex decisions. Yikes. Decision fatigue is real and has life-changing consequences.)

“You can’t make decision after decision without paying a biological price….The more choices you make throughout the day, the harder each one becomes for your brain, and eventually it looks for shortcuts, usually in either of two very different ways. One shortcut is to become reckless…The other shortcut is the ultimate energy saver: do nothing.”

A mission critical piece of information: Potential clients DO NOT arrive on your virtual doorstep with a full mental tank.

First of all, if this is the end of the day after chasing kids, working, and dealing with a difficult neighbor – they’ve already expended most of their mental energy.

Then they had to make several decisions just to land on your site: What to search for, which result to select. Maybe yours is even the third site they’re comparing.

If you then require them to figure out a site, switch between poorly labeled pages, try to compare too many options, and type everything in a small light grey font – you’re taxing them too much.

Most small business owners whose sites I browse have far too much faith in the mental energy of the average visitor.

There are two ways you can help people (and yourself) though:

#1: Shift as much of the work and decision-making load to you as possible.

When you sell, don’t present them with a million possibilities. Find out the outcome they hope to have, and then give them a specific proposal to start with.

Always remember: Humans can answer the question “Do you want A or B?” infinitely more easily than “Do you want A, B, C, D, E, F, G, or H?”

#2: Give them the ultimate shortcut: Let them get to know you.

Remember the part about people not arriving with a full tank? You can actually use that fact to your advantage.

It’s no coincidence that we tend to hire people we already know. Rather than expend our last 10% of mental energy casting a net into Google and seeing what we pull up – it’s much much easier to say “Jane is a nice person and I’ve seen her work. I’ll see if she’s available.

People are much faster to get on board with the familiar than the unfamiliar. So – make yourself familiar! Pick a channel where your ideal clients hang out and share valuable things regularly. And let them get to know you.

By the way: If you have an email list or other group of followers but aren’t sharing with them – you’re wasting a big opportunity because those folks expressly said they’d love to know more about you!

Creatives love to hate their newsletters: “I never know what to say, I never know what people want to hear.” These are excuses that do little other than keep you outside others’ circle of familiarity, and therefore off their go-to list of people to hire.

(If figuring out what to say frustrates you, take this straightforward class and get the Never Ending Content Generator. I use this myself and have yet to run out of specific options – in fact I always have 50+ drafts and sketches of emails and blog posts at the ready.)

If it’s been awhile since you sent something out, just start. Pick a single recent photo or piece of work, say “Hey I thought you might want to see this,” and tell a short story of how it came to be. That’s it. That’s all you have to do to start. Go from there.

P.S. Do not let this post discourage you from visiting Norway. Loved it! Also, I’m obsessed with Airbnb, especially now that I travel with a toddler. Feel free to use my referral link to get yourself $40 off your first stay.

]]>https://psychologyforphotographers.com/asking-much-people/feed4https://psychologyforphotographers.com/asking-much-peopleGet People Off The Fence: Uncommon Suggestions For Creating Urgencyhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Psychologyforphotographerscom/~3/dFjvzVEr4JE/get-people-off-fence-uncommon-suggestions-creating-urgency
https://psychologyforphotographers.com/get-people-off-fence-uncommon-suggestions-creating-urgency#commentsFri, 28 Apr 2017 03:39:51 +0000https://psychologyforphotographers.com/?p=10918 Have you heard this line from prospective clients: “I don’t have time now, I’ll have to book later” – ? Frustrating, huh? “I’ll do this later” is sometimes the last thing they say before they disappear into the night. Putting off a decision can be, effectively, saying no. Also, you know that “later” doesn’t always happen like we imagine. Babies grow. Houses and situations […]

“I don’t have time now, I’ll have to book later” – ?

Frustrating, huh?

“I’ll do this later” is sometimes the last thing they say before they disappear into the night. Putting off a decision can be, effectively, saying no.

Also, you know that “later” doesn’t always happen like we imagine. Babies grow. Houses and situations change. Grandparents and pets may leave us. You want people to understand how having your service now will pay emotional dividends they can’t see yet.

But people are pretty lousy at imagining how they’ll feel in the future, or considering how things might change. So, when you offer services – especially nostalgia-laden ones – you have to fight your way to the front burner by making your offers seem more urgent.

There are some common tips for creating urgency – I imagine you’ve heard (hopefully used!) most of them.

They include:

Highlighting scarcity (“I only have 10 spots open this summer, book now!)

Creating a limited time product (the Pumpkin Spice Latte is the favorite example, but creating a limited type of session like “spring flower sessions” or “fall color sessions” is similar – you can only get it for awhile and then it’s gone).

There is a time and a place for each of these strategies.

But the truth is they won’t work for everyone, all the time.

Scarcity does have a way of requiring people to get their schedules in order, and special deals help remove the financial friction of buying. Use them wisely.

But sometimes people feel like their TIME is what’s really scarce, because often – it is. When they’re hoarding time more than money, and have the illusion that they’ll somehow get more time later – that can stand in the way of even the tactics described above.

In fact, I get emails every year from photographers wondering what to do about people who pay session fees and then disappear. They paid money and still didn’t show up because of lack of time. If that happens, it’s certainly the case that there are buyers not booking at all because of lack of time.

So let’s deal with the issue of time directly, shall we? Let’s look at some ways you can push back on people’s sense of time to create more current demand.

#1: Normalize clients’ lack of time.

When you post photos from sessions, do your words ever sound kinda interchangeable from client to client?

One of them is: If all people see are gorgeous photos of a “fun” family, then what’s to stop them from thinking “My family’s life is just too crazy for this right now,” or “Oh I guess I’ll just do this when I feel more relaxed and can think about this”?

People might get the illusion that your clients are relaxed, magical creatures with all kinds of spare time on their hands.

What if you explicitly mentioned and normalized the experience of not having enough time? Or even asked your clients after their session to comment on the time issue? What if you sometimes had posts that looked like this:

As engineers, Jareth and Jane don’t get a lot of free time. In fact, Jane told me that she wasn’t sure which weekend would work with all their work projects and family obligations. But since a session takes less time than a nice dinner, they slid it into their schedule on a Friday night (and actually, they did go have dinner afterward!).

“I’m so glad I took the time to do this, we could easily have just stayed home and collapsed onto the couch with takeout like we usually do” she told me afterward. “And we still like doing that. But I was surprised at how many great images we got from a small window before sunset. I’m so glad we have the photos. We can have takeout another weekend.”

When you tell people that actual clients have those same time problems and did the session anyway, it makes it seem normal, and not a reason to hold back.

Here are some questions you can ask past clients to get useful quotes about time from clients:

If you hadn’t had a session that evening, what would you have done with the time instead

Do you feel like it was worth the time to do the images? Why?

Do you wish you had waited instead of taking photos? (If not, why not?)

Looking back on it now, do you feel like it took that much time as you thought it would up front?

2) Make the passing of time more concrete.

Although people will believe “oh these photos will mean more to you later,” that sensation of happiness is far in the future, and not terribly motivating now. If you make the consequences of the passing of time more concrete, they become easier to imagine – and thus, easier to act on.

If you have repeat clients, show photos from different years side by side and comment on how much the kids have changed (or quote one of the parents). The contrast reminds readers that while photos can wait, kids don’t. Chances are, you have audience members who have already waited a year to get photos done – and what have they missed as a result?

If you don’t have repeat clients, you can always share personal images that illustrate the same thing. Documenting your own kids, your pet, heck – the tree you planted in your backyard – whatever is relevant – can show the passing of time and give you a chance to talk about how things change and show a clear example.

3) Use the principle of consistency – ask people to relate their own experiences.

People love talking about themselves – take advantage! Start conversations regularly about people’s own experiences with images:

Ask your blog/social media audience to send in an image from the past that is more meaningful now than they could have imagined when they took it.

Ask what image they wish they had, but don’t. (If you do this, bring tissues.)

Challenge people to take a picture this week and send it to you. I did this for everyone on my email list this past week!

When someone tells their own story, it forces them to organize their own thoughts. It makes them articulate opinions that were only vaguely floating around before.

It’s easier to get people to act on their opinions than to act on yours, so asking them to express their opinions is a good way to push them to doing something.

Consider: If I said “donating animal shelters is good – click here to donate,” some people would do so.

But if I said “Hey, do you think donating to animal shelters is good?” and you answered “Yes,” and THEN I said “will you click here to donate?” – a much higher percentage will click to donate.

Why?

When you get people to express an opinion or a value first, and then ask them to act, they want to stay consistent with what they said. It feels awkward to say in your own words that something is important – and then not do it. No one wants to feel hypocritical, and that slight discomfort of going back on their word pushes them to act.

By making a lack of time seem normal, concretely showing the passing of time, and asking people to be consistent with their own beliefs, you’ll enhance the power of any other promotion you run.

Get on it! Let me know how it goes.

*

Psssst: Ever wish you had an audience that just couldn’t wait to see what you do next?

Two of my courses, Irresistible Words and Irresistible You help you do exactly that. They teach the nuts and bolts of persuasion, plus everything you need to know about pulling people in (no, you don’t need exotic Instagram photos or cool shoes – just a trusty set of tools that work in any situation.)

Check them out:

“I feel like you just gave me a paintbrush and colors I didn’t even know I have and they will be such a perfect compliment to my photography. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Jenika!!!” – Helén

]]>https://psychologyforphotographers.com/get-people-off-fence-uncommon-suggestions-creating-urgency/feed1https://psychologyforphotographers.com/get-people-off-fence-uncommon-suggestions-creating-urgencyGet People To Actually Read Your Website (With A Filmmaking Trick)http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Psychologyforphotographerscom/~3/9j2c35UDWZw/get-people-actually-read-website-filmmaking-trick
https://psychologyforphotographers.com/get-people-actually-read-website-filmmaking-trick#commentsTue, 21 Mar 2017 20:48:48 +0000https://psychologyforphotographers.com/?p=10883After watching a new movie, I always hightail it to Wikipedia and IMDB to check out all the behind-the-scenes trivia. Do you do this, too? I especially like reading about Easter eggs I might have missed in the film. (An Easter egg is a message, reference, or joke hidden in the background.) Like how R2-D2 and […]

After watching a new movie, I always hightail it to Wikipedia and IMDB to check out all the behind-the-scenes trivia.

Do you do this, too?

I especially like reading about Easter eggs I might have missed in the film. (An Easter egg is a message, reference, or joke hidden in the background.)

Like how R2-D2 and C-3PO appear in background hieroglyphs in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Or how the carpet in Sid’s room in Toy Story is the same pattern as the carpet in the hotel from The Shining. (Someone took the trouble to put a whole bunch of Pixar Easter eggs together here, and Disney ones here).

Easter eggs reward people for watching closely. It’s easy to pay attention to the main action. But when fans can feel smart for recognizing a reference, or for spotting something subtle, it encourages them to watch more times, pay attention, and talk about it with fellow fans.

Now, how do you read most websites?

We spend most of our time in skim mode. We have to. The onslaught of incoming links and information is too great to do anything besides get in, get essential info, and get out.

So what’s a small business owner to do?

Reward people for close reading.

Hide a few Easter eggs, so to speak, just little jokes or fun things to make people smile.

They don’t have to actually be “hidden,” just show up where people don’t expect to see something.

Because the minute people think they can anticipate what you’re going to say, or think it’s non-essential, they skip right over it.

And if what you’ve written is standard to every site ever, like “To book a session, email me at hello@joe.com.” (That’s not bad, just skimmable.)

You don’t want to add clutter for the sake of being interesting. But there are places where you can add a fun surprise that rewards people for paying attention to detail. Some humor, a reference, something they didn’t expect.

Keeping people’s curiosity piqued can have a bigger impact than you might think! They’re far more willing to read through what they would otherwise deem ‘background noise’ if they find little rewards for actually looking at everything.

Some simple examples:

Buttons

This one’s a gimme. Sure you could stick with “submit” on your contact page, but if it’s obvious from the design and placement of the button what it does – why not at least try “Fire Away!”?

When readers see personality someplace like a button, they start to look for it elsewhere, too.

I’m obsessed with snail mail, my weekly emails are written like letters, and I’ve built a general words-and-paper vibe around this site. That’s why my contact page button currently says “Seal, Stamp, and Send!”

Now, if your site is super formal, then “Bombs Away!” on your contact page would sound odd. Be congruent. But chances are, your site isn’t miles away from your personality.

If you’d never say “Fire Away,” what would you tack onto the end of a sentence telling a friend “Sure, go ahead and text me anytime – fire away!”? Use your version instead.

This is a tiny detail, but one that can make your site friendlier and more fun – and encourage people to get in touch. I’ve actually had people email me to tell me how much fun it was to click various buttons I’d created. Think about that. They EMAILED about a BUTTON. People notice!

(By the way, if your email sign-up button says something like “Release the Kracken!” or “Accio Wardrobe Guide!” I’m roughly 7000% more likely to want to be on your list. Just saying. Find what works for your ideal client!)

Headers and Footers

Email, phone number – good things to have. But that caption underneath? Makes me laugh. Especially in his Brooklyn market where everything cool is small batch and local. It both embraces and pokes fun at the local ethos – which the rest of his site does too.

Think about your target client.What 1-3 little references, humor, or quips can you put near your phone number, in a footer, or on a plain stock page?

If they’re in the same life phase as you, give that a nod: “Call me anytime 8am-4pm, or during your kid’s nap. I promise I’ll keep it short ;-).”

Do they have the same favorite movies, favorite bands, or watch the same shows as you? “Sign up here for our weekly emails! We never share your email with third parties. Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and….wait sorry, got carried away there.”

When you write your error page for your site, instead of just “Sorry we can’t seem to find that, try another search term,” why not stick in a Lord of the Rings reference? “You shall not pass! Sorry, those search terms did not match anything on the site. Quick, try something else before the Balrog shows up:”

You don’t need one of these everywhere, but 1-3 sprinkled in can be fun. Never underestimate what an unexpected pleasant experience can do for people!

FAQ answers

FAQs can be where interest goes to die if all your answers are dry and procedural.

Give them the info, but every second or third question or so, throw them a bone. Look to your own interests for inspiration – and talk how you would really talk:

I mean, if you really want to print your own photos along with the 3,492 on your hard drive, may the force be with you. But I’m guessing that having me handle this for you will be a huge relief that ensures you and your kids will hold these and reminisce over them at future Thanksgivings.

Will these little additions BY ITSELF make an amazing site?

Also, if people see that they get bits of humor and fun when they take the time to read…they’ll be more likely to read! How much inbox clutter and headache would you eliminate if people came to you having read your site? Yeah, I thought so.

Why not pick one place on your site to hide an ‘Easter egg’ today?

Just try it out. If you like it, add 2-3 more. Keep it uncluttered and simple, and you never lose making things more interesting.

P.S. Want to add more personality your site – while staying fresh and persuasive?

Check out Irresistible You. (You’ll also learn how your favorite bloggers and Instagrammers keep you coming back, in ways you didn’t even realize.)

]]>https://psychologyforphotographers.com/get-people-actually-read-website-filmmaking-trick/feed17https://psychologyforphotographers.com/get-people-actually-read-website-filmmaking-trickShort Winter Task: Uproot Business Weeds That Steal Time + Energyhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Psychologyforphotographerscom/~3/k7Kfi6w2x0o/handling-weeds
https://psychologyforphotographers.com/handling-weeds#commentsTue, 28 Feb 2017 22:14:14 +0000https://psychologyforphotographers.com/?p=10854What is a weed, really? You might say it’s a plant that ruins your lawn. Nasty thorny sprouty stuff you’ve wasted considerable time trying to uproot. But in the end, a weed is just any plant growing in an unwanted spot. Dandelions are weeds, sure, but even perfectly lovely things like mint and wild strawberries […]

The things growing in our schedules and hearts – but in all the wrong places.

So what kinds of weeds do we get in business?

Weeds are anything that blocks light and air from your budding ventures.

Anything that steals time and energy from your main goals. Not all weeds are bad things themselves, but they will stunt your business as they divide attention and nourishment away from what you really want to grow!

Consider these weeds:

Spending too much time in forum or social media echo chambers. Thinking it’s “productive” because it’s business-themed, but when you’re done your business is no different than it was when you logged in.

But remember, a weed is relative to its surroundings.

Where I grew up in Idaho, the running flower vine “morning glory” is a lawn weed. Imagine my surprise when I moved to Maryland and saw morning glory seeds in the gardening section! My weed is someone else’s ornamental flower.

It’s the same in business. What you call a weed and what I call a weed will be different. Facebook might be a weed for me and a main source of clients for you. Only you can answer the question “what is stealing away my time and energy?”

So as you consider the weeds you’re dealing with, also consider the categorically good things that are spilling over into the wrong spot, or outgrowing their borders. Possibilities include:

Endless tiny customer service requests (“can we move Photo #64 two milimeters to the right on page 42?”) that, when you’re the only one handling them, can sprawl over the entire work day

An overabundance of something you’re not an expert at – technical tasks, back-end website management, keywording every blog post

Managing all the social media feeds when maybe some of them aren’t even producing results

Things that take you a week to do that would take a professional less than a couple of hours – filing taxes, retirement planning

Your inbox, in general

How do we decide when a ‘good’ or necessary thing becomes a weed?

One way: Consider which tasks are central to it being your business, and which ones wouldn’t matter a bit if someone else handled them.

Photoshoots? Central.

Sorting through an overflowing inbox? Maybe not. You could have someone breeze through it, assign priorities, and ghost-write draft emails for you to approve and send.

Plenty of stuff doesn’t have to be YOU doing it. And it might be easier or less expensive than you think to have someone else take it off your plate.

Look: I’m a frugal person by nature, I’ve bootstrapped all business ventures I’ve undertaken, and I prefer to be in control of things. So I get the chorus of hesitations on paying someone to do things you “can” do.

But some stuff for me (especially graphic design, taxes, and back-end web management) simply turns out better if someone else handles it. If you don’t want to hire a ton of help, consider training someone to do two of the most basic, repetitive tasks, and see how it goes for a month. You might be surprised at what you’re able to do with the extra time that majorly out-earns whatever you are paying to get your time back.

But not all weed control involves hiring someone.

It might just be the self-discipline to quit refreshing Instagram hoping for quick hits of “like” validation. Or giving yourself permission to shut X down so you can leave room for Y to blossom.

Spring is coming soon, so this is your final short winter task:

1) Decide what your weeds are, and 2) make a plan to control them!

It’s easier than you think:

1) What do I want my main harvest to be this year?

A garden, like your calendar, only has so much space. So make a list of priorities. Maybe:

I want my business to generate 30 new inquiries between now and September

I want to provide incredible images for those people

I want to make clients so happy they’re eager to refer me to others

Marketing education: I want to learn more about Pinterest

Photography education: I want to improve my off-camera lighting

Hooray! You’ve listed which ‘plants’ you want to thrive.

2) Now, make a list of the tasks you have on your plate – both now and coming up during the high season.

Glance at your calendar and make a master list: Scribble down all the big tasks ahead, all the things that are bugging you, that need updating, that are competing for your attention. Be as detailed, or not, as you want to be.

Then circle anything that does not directly contribute to your ability to harvest. See whether you can outsource, minimize, or flat-out abandon/ignore any circled items.

Album design taking away your ability to do a quick turnaround, not to mention making you dread after-the-session client care? Find a designer. Boom – now you can take that lighting class.

Your Instagram account just sitting there, gathering dust? Either hire someone to manage it, or uproot all your guilt and completely ignore it until you’ve mastered Pinterest. Then you can go back and master Instagram too, if you want. Remember, weeds aren’t all bad! Instagram might just be your wild strawberry plant you need to rip out until you’re ready to pay attention to it.

However you decide to identify your ‘weeds,’ the point is: Uproot or relocating anything that’s siphoning away your time and energy, and give your harvest space to grow!

]]>https://psychologyforphotographers.com/handling-weeds/feed6https://psychologyforphotographers.com/handling-weedsShort Winter Task: Let’s Not Forget The Most Important Parthttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Psychologyforphotographerscom/~3/q8klfBIhSb4/feed-the-soil
https://psychologyforphotographers.com/feed-the-soil#respondThu, 23 Feb 2017 15:19:12 +0000https://psychologyforphotographers.com/?p=10846We’ve been talking about planting business seeds to have a healthy harvest later this year (things like soliciting testimonials, and making sure clients have no regrets after they hire you). But I’m kinda embarrassed – I almost forgot about the most important part! See, spend any time reading about gardening, and you’ll run across the […]

But I’m kinda embarrassed –

I almost forgot about the most important part!

See, spend any time reading about gardening, and you’ll run across the phrase “feed the soil, not the plants.”

What does that mean? Well, plants dig into the soil to take nutrients out of it. Which is good, it’s what they’re supposed to do. But if you keep planting on the same ground over and over, pretty soon the soil gets depleted.

So what’s a farmer to do? Add stuff back into the soil. This is why farmers do things like add compost to their rows, or weave in special crops like peas and clover that take nitrogen out of the air and put it back into the ground. (Seriously, plants are magic when you think about them.)

The best question a farmer can ask is – what am I taking out, and what’s the best way to replenish it?

Guess what? We have to ask the same question.

Long business seasons draw on your creativity for nourishment. Every time you take photos, create offers, write posts – you’re drawing ideas and energy out of your ground. Which is great, it’s what you’re supposed to do. But if all you do is work work work, your creative soil – so to speak – is going to become depleted. It’s an un-fun place to be, but it’s also unsurprising – and we can plan for it!

Let’s be responsible caretakers and put things on our calendar now that will nourish us when our creativity is in highest demand. We’ll ask our question:

In the year ahead, what will we be ‘taking out,’ and what’s the best way we can plan to replenish it?

Think back to past years. What tends to feel the most depleted during a busy season, and what can you add to your calendar to make sure that nourishment is being replenished? Consider things like –

If you’re shooting a lot, maybe you need to add beautiful visual input for inspirational fuel. Can you plan for a twice-a-month museum crawl or hike or gorgeous movie marathon, or something else that inspires you to see beauty in new ways?

Maybe you don’t run out of visual inspiration, but you overtax your capacity to serve others. Can you plan in a small-but-glorious, oh-so-exciting personal project on a weekday in September, to ward off burnout and reconnect with what you love? (If that sounds bonkers to do right in the middle of a busy month, you might need to read The Overachiever’s Guide To Taking A Break – I don’t make up the science of productivity, I just report it, folks.)

Or maybe you just need protected “off” time that doesn’t turn into get-sucked-into-social-media time. What habits or rituals can you plant in that, like clover, keeps a low profile but nourishes you every week?

Screen time of any sort eventually depletes me. So I have to set aside specific time to play with paper instead. Last fall, I designated the time slot 9-10:30pmon Monday through Thursday to read actual books, practice calligraphy, and make beautiful things to send people in the mail. This was wind-down time that ensured I didn’t just deplete myself with more screen time (social media, Netflix).

When winter came though, I found that keeping that slot open didn’t work anymore. So instead, in my weekly planner I’ve added a list called “Rewards” and I get to check them off like to-do list items. I put in things like writing a letter, lunch dates, hiking in new spots, or going to book club. I make sure I have four every week. Interestingly, this makes my entire to-do list seem more fun and it ensures I actually do it instead of just think about it.

Three months from now, that might not work anymore. It might start feeling like a chore. So I’ll move on to something else. The point is – figure out what you need, figure out a way to work it in. When that stops working, that’s not “bad,” it’s just a change of season, so go find what works for this one.

Your short winter task today:

Look at the calendar ahead, circle the weeks that tend to be busiest, and ask yourself – what is going to be depleted, and when and how will I replenish it?

P.S. This post was originally an email I sent out – only about half of my content is on the blog. Want to see stuff like this about once a week? Hop on the list:

]]>https://psychologyforphotographers.com/feed-the-soil/feed0https://psychologyforphotographers.com/feed-the-soilShort Winter Task: Will People Regret Hiring You?http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Psychologyforphotographerscom/~3/WFIQmRVSfgg/short-task-eliminate-regret
https://psychologyforphotographers.com/short-task-eliminate-regret#commentsTue, 07 Feb 2017 23:13:54 +0000https://psychologyforphotographers.com/?p=10829Think about the last three pricey-ish things you’ve bought. Things where you had some choice, and maybe you had to pick between options that were pretty close to one another. How did you feel *right* after you paid up? Your reactions have probably ranged among the following: Over-the-moon excited because you splurged on THE TOP […]

Things where you had some choice, and maybe you had to pick between options that were pretty close to one another.

How did you feel *right* after you paid up?

Your reactions have probably ranged among the following:

Over-the-moon excited because you splurged on THE TOP OF THE LINE THING and you can’t wait.

Happy, but a bit anxious. Did I pick the right one? Was this too much to spend? What if X happens and I realize I should have saved the money or done that other thing?

A little underwhelmed. You just wrote a big check, but is your life really going to get that much better? What are you even doing – and when do you get to go on that trip you’ve been dreaming of?

Kinda regretting it. Maybe I should have gone with that other thing. Oh crap. Maybe I REALLY should have. Wait, let me go back to the website and reassure myself that I picked the right thing. OK, I feel….okay? Sigh, well, too late.

I’m sure you’ve experienced all of these before. Notice how many of them contain a note of anxiety.

Even the top reaction, the one where you are REALLY EXCITED – you might still at some point feel a pang of “oh shoot was that too much money…” and have to engage in a little self-talk to get through it. Right?

Let’s focus in on that regret for a minute.

We’ve talking lately about business seeds to plant in the slow season that will increase your harvest later.

(By the way, if you aren’t signed up for my e-letters, you’re only getting half of the tips. Some ideas I send via email only – so get yourself on the list!)

Today we are going to talk about one seed: Introducing a specific, simple, nice surprise at a key moment.

Right after someone buys something – say, puts down a retainer for a session – it’s quite common for people to feel some degree of confusion, regret, or anxiety. We tend to call this “buyer’s remorse.”

But that term “remorse” doesn’t perfectly describe it – it can be too strong of a word. Which is why I like the term psychologists and economists tend to use – they call it “post-purchase cognitive dissonance” (wha-bam, now you know the secret lingo!) Meaning? The mental discomfort you feel when you have two hold two contradictory things in mind.

Like: “I just paid a lot of money for that” and “I’m a little unsure whether it was the right thing to do.”

Uncomfortable, right?

There’s something about businesses like yours that can make your clients especially vulnerable to this dissonance:

The more involved someone was in making a decision, the more likely they are to have dissonance afterward.

People who make an impulse purchase are actually less likely to feel dissonance afterward if it turns out poorly. Because they think “well, if I had put more thought into it, I would have seen this coming. Oh well.” Easily dismissed.

But if someone spends a lot of time identifying options and weighing the choice, they get more anxious about whether or not they made The One True Right Choice. They see the benefits of other options clearly, and they can feel less certain that the one they chose was THE one, because wait, that other one was cool too.

Chances are, if you have any kind of service business – photography, graphic design, dentistry, whatever – people have a lot of options. Some might be equally as capable as you are. (Which by the way, is why making personal connections is such a good idea – it’s one thing that will always set you apart…but that’s another story.)

At any rate, people who hire you have probably had to spend some time deciding to choose you specifically. Which also means that your client is a lot likelier to experience some degree of dissonance after booking. EVEN IF YOUR WORK IS GREAT. It’s just the way it is.

Here is why we care about this (besides that we want people to feel good):

When people feel uncomfortable and uncertain, it can cast a shadow over the rest of their experience.

If in that initial moment of “ok, I bought it, I’m on the other side,” they aren’t over-the-moon happy, they can become skeptical. They’re still trying to justify, or not, the purchase. Thus, they can spend the experience looking for evidence for or against it being a good choice, instead of just enjoying it. If they’re really grumpy, they might start looking for reasons to ask for a refund, even magnifying things that aren’t real problems. It’s harder to win them over.

The good news is that people do actually want to see evidence that they made a good choice, so let’s give it to them!

What can we do?

Well, to solve a problem, we have to look quickly at what causes it.

Here are two questions that determine how much dissonance (that uncomfortable clash) your client experiences.

They aren’t asking these out loud; these are unspoken factors that influence how they feel:

Question #1: “What evidence do I see right after the decision that I made the right choice?”

Remember, when people feel dissonance, they are uncomfortable because they are trying to reconcile “I bought this thing” with “there are still reasons why maybe it wasn’t a good idea.”

So right after, they might look around for evidence about whether they made the right decision.

What do your clients see right after they send you your retainer? Nothing? A generic thank you page and an invoice email? A canned welcome email that gives them a list of time-consuming stuff they now have to do?

Or do they first see something beautiful and visual that says – yes, you made the right decision?

It matters.

Question #2: “Was this choice compatible with my goals?”

The client might have hired you for a Christmas card photo, so you’d think that yes, hiring you gets them closer to their goal.

But annoyingly, most people aren’t that clear about what their goals are. Maybe their goal was really “to have a Christmas card that looked like Suzy’s last year” which was all awash in creamy backlighting, and it made them want to see their family that way, and (though they might not admit it) they want to inspire the envy they currently feel in others.

If they hired you precisely because you have that kind of backlit work in your portfolio – great. But if they got lost in the forest of options, if they can’t exactly identify what it was they wanted, if your portfolio is a confusing mish-mash of styles, if they hired you purely for the price, they might start to feel unsure about whether or not your business was the right choice.

Knowing this, here are the two most important things you can do:

First: Give them immediate evidence that they made the right decision. Be excited, celebrate, show and tell them they made the right choice.

Second: Affirm that this is going to get them closer to their goals. They are now one or two or ten steps closer to X thing happening that they’ve been wanting.

Although your whole process should affirm that they made the right choice, you’d be smart to introduce one specific thing right after they send you money, when they’re feeling vulnerable and most crave evidence and affirmation.

This needs to happen right after they book. Don’t wait until the delivery of products to celebrate with them – they might not see all your beautiful product delivery packaging until days, weeks, or months down the road. Do one thing right away.

So what does this look like? Here are some options.

Pick what your people will love, or invent your own thing:

1) Right after they book, send them to an immediate, warm welcome page (or send an email)….that really is a welcome.

One time I spent a four-figure sum on an educational course, and I was feeling incredibly nervous when I hit Purchase. But as soon as the payment cleared, I was sent to a page with a 30 second welcome video of the educator looking right at the camera. She looked excited and celebrated the fact that I’d made this decision. She mentioned that I was now closer to X and Y happening, and told me one thing to expect next. It was like a quick, warm hug that chased away the anxiety.

Did I know that this was a page everyone saw, and that of course she wanted to tell me I made a smart choice since the choice was her? Of course.

BUT, interestingly, this made it no less effective. The huge contrast between nervousness I felt and the immediate warm affirmation made a big difference for me.

So, what happens right after someone gives you money? What page are they redirected to, or what email do they get automatically? And can you tinker that to give them affirmation and show how they’re getting closer to their goals?

Maybe stick a video (or photo) there of you throwing confetti and telling them how much fun they’re about to have, and the results are going to get them X and Y. A message along the lines of –

Yes! You are officially on my calendar! You’re about to see how family photos can be relaxing rather than stressful, and the mantel above your fireplace is one huge step closer to being adorned the way it deserves. And your Christmas cards this year – oh, those cards are going to SHINE.

or

A warm welcome to you! You just made an amazing choice for your business – these images are going to help your clients imagine the things you sell in their lives, and it’s going to light a fire under them to buy you out! Not to mention the fact that you’re going to stand out when people sort through listings and see – gasp – exactly what they hoped for. I am so excited that you’re about to see more sales coming through. Let’s get started!

Whatever affirms that they made a good choice, shares their excitement, and orients them toward their goals will help.

Research tip: Google “Welcome emails” and look at different ways major brands do this. Tons of marketing blogs out there aggregate examples. Large scale marketing will use strategies that you probably shouldn’t (e.g. big coupons), but take notes on how you respond to different words and visuals.

The things you respond warmly to give you big hints at what your clients will respond warmly to.

2) Send a personal note.

If you have a small-volume business, consider shoring up your immediate digital welcome with something more personal or tangible. It could be a personalized email where you use their names and specify anything you know about them, like “I can’t wait to pick a fun activity that Hazel and Carter will love. Do they like _____?” Help them see that they, personally, matter.

As mentioned above, I’m personally a sucker – a sucker, I tell you – for snail mail. And honestly, I don’t know many people who aren’t. Consider keeping a stack of cards and prestamped envelopes. Right after they book, all you have to do is write a few lines, write their name and address, and send. (This can even become a comforting ritual for you upon landing a new client.)

(By the way – if this idea sounds too time-consuming, consider that you can hire someone for tasks like this. I totally get that business can feel like a thousand papercuts on your time, there’s no shame in having someone else represent your sincerity.)

3) Give them something unexpected.

One of Zappos’s most brilliant moves was upgrading people to free express shipping after people ordered. As in, people would buy, and then get an email that said “Surprise! We’ve upgraded you.” Talk about immediate evidence you made the right decision.

Now, I do NOT advocate wrecking your profit margins or undercutting future sales! You are not Zappos. But if you can think of something simple and low-cost, high-value you can offer that you keep as a surprise for right after they book, do consider implementing it. You could tell them they’re going to get something you don’t actually sell, but that they get as a bonus (e.g. postcards of a few favorite images). Or you might simply send them “access to my secret library” where they get the secret wardrobe tips and answers to questions everyone is afraid to ask about how to look good in photos.

Don’t make it expensive, just make them feel amazed that they’re getting something even better than they realized.

Whatever anti-dissonance measures you implement –

Keep in mind: you don’t have to use ALL those ideas. This is a toolbox. Pick the tools to do the job in front of you, which is to make your clients immediately over-the-moon that they hired you.

By the way? To be the most effective, you really need to know your target client.

What feels affirming to some people will be less so to others. And you can’t tell them they’re getting closer to their goals if you have no idea what their goals are.

Everyone needs to have a profile of their target client. (If you don’t, may I suggest trying Irresistible Website.) Your welcome message can’t go on forever, and it’s best if you can strike them with exactly what they most need to hear right when they’re feeling vulnerable. Know who they are, know what thrills them, and let that guide your choice. There is no template that can do it for you because it depends entirely on who you’re trying to influence.

If you know your people just loooove feeling prestigious, then your welcome message might include a note about the exclusivity of what they’re doing.

If your people swoon over their Instagram or Pinterest boards, put the message on an image that represents exactly the aesthetic they’re going for (white light and succulents and all) to stoke their excitement about what they’re going to get.

If your client is a business owner who just wants this thing off their plate, then a message like “I’ll take it from here” will bring huge relief.

Affirmations and evidence will go the farthest when they are specific to your type of client. Then they’ll be all the more excited that they hired the right person. Be sure you spend time getting to know your ideal person.

Now, let the dissonance-busting and client-thrilling begin!

Sketch a plan to revamp your welcome email and consider if you want to throw in a little extra (like a note or special bonus)!

Then, during business season, watch the excitement and extra referrals roll in.

]]>https://psychologyforphotographers.com/short-task-eliminate-regret/feed10https://psychologyforphotographers.com/short-task-eliminate-regretShort Winter Task: Create Happier Clientshttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Psychologyforphotographerscom/~3/6PMfb3wSTbo/short-winter-task-create-happier-clients
https://psychologyforphotographers.com/short-winter-task-create-happier-clients#commentsWed, 25 Jan 2017 21:03:06 +0000https://psychologyforphotographers.com/?p=10806Business is an awful lot like gardening. (We’ve talked about this before, in fact.) Few things happen immediately. And if you want corn in the fall, you have to plant it in the spring. Right now is the slow season for many of you – you’re not in the middle of the “harvesting” of serving […]

Business is an awful lot like gardening.

Few things happen immediately. And if you want corn in the fall, you have to plant it in the spring. Right now is the slow season for many of you – you’re not in the middle of the “harvesting” of serving peak season clients. So now is the time to start planting stuff you want to reap later.

Make sure they know they’re going to get orange juice. Spend more time than you think is strictly necessary telling them all about the freshly hand-squeezed orange juice and tell them it’ll take 10 minutes from the time they order it. Then they’ll happily wait and anticipate it.

Here’s your short winter task for preventing negative surprises – planting a few seeds, if you will:

Why? Most of the time, people don’t look around for instructions, or search that hard for information. We tend to look at something and make a best guess based on experience. We have to – it’s faster.

To make our guesses, we rely on what psychologists call a “schema” – a mental map of sorts that tells us how we need to behave. We have a schema that tells us how to act at a fine restaurant, and another one that tells us what to do when walking into a fast food restaurant. You don’t have to have gone to a Taco Bell before to know that you don’t sit down at a table and look for a waiter and your linen napkin. Your “fast food” schema tells you “oh, I go to the counter, look at the menu – probably on the wall behind the registers – and order.”

Here’s the problem: Your client’s schema for working with you might be wrong. Slightly, or majorly wrong.

Schemas come from experience. So maybe the experience that formed their “photography” schema was 1990s portrait studios. Or maybe they hired a few independent contractors to do graphic design, and think “well how different can a photographer be?”

Awkward.

Even if they’ve worked with professional photographers before, everyone has slightly different procedures. (Heck, I talk to photographers all the time and it still takes me a few minutes on their site to figure out how each person is doing their thing – and I know exactly what I’m looking for!) And the variation from person to person is enough to set up surprises that can be nasty depending on what the person wants and needs.

With all this variation and schema mismatch – you’re just setting glasses of orange juice along their path.

So take charge.

Make a simple timeline, perhaps with clean 1-2-3-4 buttons.

Next to each point, have a bolded header, and underneath 2-3 explanatory sentences.

Maybe:

1: Book your date!Just send in your session fee, and you’ve retained the date. No one can get it but you – hooray!

2: Don’t call me – I’ll call you. When you book you’ll let me know a good time to call. I’ll give you a ring, and you’ll tell me exactly what you hope to have happen. We’ll also go over wardrobe ideas, because I don’t want you stressing the night before that someone outgrew their only blue pants. I’ll give you my secret spots for affordable, fast style.

Then just plonk your little happy map of expectations everywhere it makes sense: On an info page, attached to client emails, as the cover sheet for a welcome pack, whatever works. Try to think of more than one spot.

Will some people ignore this STILL? Absolutely – BUT:

When people skim, they look for things like numbers and headers. So if you number it and have bolded headers, they will probably at least absorb that information. (If you find that people routinely miss something, just pop it in the header.)

You can also number it in reverse order, 5-4-3-2-1, so they feel compelled to keep reading to find out what #1 is. (This is what U.S. News does when they have “America’s Top 100 Colleges” or whatever – people tend to click to the end!)

Folding in these tricks dramatically increases the likelihood that they’ll absorb the gist of how YOU do things – and it’ll plant seeds in their minds for when a surprise does come up. They’re more likely to think “oh wait, I think she said something about this….” and it tamps down that initial angry reaction.

To be clear: You should still have a separate signed contract that outlines everything in greater detail.

Contracts are vital tools. And if you’ve encouraged them to read the contract and given them at least two chances to ask questions, many people will feel sheepish later knowing at least that they signed something and had explicit chances to ask questions.

Importantly, contracts help you deal with negative surprises by giving you a clear pre-signed agreement to refer to.

Still, many people skip over the finer points, so contracts aren’t the best way to TEACH fresh information. That’s why your happy little map will help.

(By the way: If you need help getting a contract set up, you could consider starting with a contract from The Law Tog (I’m an affiliate) and having a local lawyer look things over. The Law Tog stuff is solid and faster than having a lawyer draft something from scratch; a local lawyer may have additional input based on your specific location’s laws.)

]]>https://psychologyforphotographers.com/short-winter-task-create-happier-clients/feed9https://psychologyforphotographers.com/short-winter-task-create-happier-clientsThe Two-Part Psychological Trap That Snares Your Marketinghttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Psychologyforphotographerscom/~3/djUE-WMrhb8/two-part-psychological-trap
https://psychologyforphotographers.com/two-part-psychological-trap#commentsTue, 08 Nov 2016 23:40:57 +0000https://psychologyforphotographers.com/?p=10715Like most traps, it’s got two halves. The first half: That the way clients hear something described impacts their desire to have it. Psychologists call this a “framing effect.” For example: People prefer meat labeled “75% lean” over meat labeled “25% fat.” Even though either way, you’re getting the same thing. This applies in more […]

Like most traps, it’s got two halves.

The first half: That the way clients hear something described impacts their desire to have it.

Psychologists call this a “framing effect.”

For example: People prefer meat labeled “75% lean” over meat labeled “25% fat.” Even though either way, you’re getting the same thing.

This applies in more serious situations, too – if a surgeon describes a treatment as having a “10% mortality rate,” the patient is more likely to refuse the treatment than if the doctor said “it has a 90% success rate.” Same pattern if they say a medical device will “help you breathe” vs. “control your breathing” – people greatly prefer being “helped” even though both phrases are accurate.

The way you describe things matters. The things you focus on matter – even if the end result would be the same.

The second half: We tend to look at things through the lens of our profession, rather than step outside ourselves.

If you’re an orthopedist watching your neighbor’s kids jump on a trampoline, you might think “well, there’s a broken ankle waiting to happen.” Meanwhile, your neighbor is watching their kids thinking “I’m so glad that Joey and Josie are finally having fun together and not arguing.”

If you’re a pianist and you go to a concert, all you can hear are the accompanist’s errors – while others simply tap their feet along to the singers and enjoy the performance.

And I KNOW you photographers out there have seen friends’ vacation photos and spent time analyzing how the light could have been better if they’d just done X…am I right? (Guilty.)

We can’t help but see things from the perspective of our profession. That’s not really “right” or “wrong.” We’ve just spent time training our minds, so no wonder our minds reorganize themselves around certain guiding principles.

Psychologists call this the “curse of knowledge” (you can use the fancier term – deformation professionnelle – if you want to impress people). Once you know something it’s hard to un-know it.

Can you already see where the trap snaps shut on you?

You go to describe what you offer to your clients. And you’re looking at things from your professional perspective.

Which means that you tend to frame things the way YOU see them:

Get your Christmas card sessions done early – we’ll make it fun for the whole family!

Gorgeous leather albums will preserve your memories forever!

None of that stuff is inaccurate or wrong. But your view point might be considerably narrower than your clients’, who have an entirely different set of concerns:

When exactly am I going to do this? We have soccer practice every weekend. Can I afford it? This is a busy month already, maybe I’ll just ask my neighbor to do it. Oh shoot, the dog needs to be let out.

Since what you wrote doesn’t exactly nail their frame of mind and concerns, your message may or may not land.

Here’s how you can avoid the trap altogether (not to mention convert more clients – BOOM!):

When you go to write for business, take off your professional hat for a minute. Then FULLY immerse yourself in empathy for your client first.

I mean it. Take a second and really look at their whole life.

Consider everything they’ve got going on. Let compassion for how busy they are, for how much they’re trying to do, for how wonderful they are – well up inside you.

You will probably find that the next thing you write comes from a different place:

When you look back at this time, you’re going to remember pudgy hands pressing cookie cutters into yellow dough. Showers of glitter spilling out of backpacks from Christmas crafts (grr!). The rattle of the back door and the sound of snow boots thudding on the linoleum. Why not have this year’s Christmas photos reflect what you’ll remember about season? Learn more about my in-home sessions here.

You might find that your offers even change slightly:

You know you told yourself you wanted to send Christmas cards this past summer – let me do the leg work right now! Stamps and envelopes included, delivered to your door. That way you can spend the first week in December listening to your kids’ Christmas concerts, not standing in line at the post office.

If you try this I think you might be amazed with the next thing you write.

A major reason photographers and artists trend toward sounding the same online is because they’re all busy looking at things from the lens of their profession. Which they all have in common.

Clients should be able to put their hand over their mini feed and know which post is yours alone.

You have the best shot at doing that in part when they know you’re the one who “gets” what they’re thinking, and when you give specific examples of how you can help.

When you don’t just casually post “a new session” on your blog, because you know that to them, this isn’t just another session, it’s a major, expensive, once-a-year event – and you spend time describing what it’s like – for them.

That means embracing empathy, the same way you’d have empathy for a friend who told them what a long day it has been. “I get that you’re dealing with ____, _____, and ____. What if I _______ for you?”

When you take off your “professional” hat and step back into being yourself, empathy flows more freely.

Of course you’re still being professional – offering consistent results, having clear boundaries, charging appropriately, etc.

But stepping outside of your professional role before you write, and letting their perspective fill you up – makes you so much readier to frame your offerings in ways that excite.

I bet you are already great at empathizing with people. You do it all the time in your regular life, and embracing that skill as a business tool will help you tell people how you can help them.

Try it out next time you go to write something – especially if you don’t know where to start.

I think you’ll surprise yourself by how much you already know what to say.

One core facet of this course is studying your clients.

Why? Well partly because:

Showing up more completely in your business lets you really be there for them. When they see you and know you more, they can trust you more easily. Your empathy comes across as more genuine, and this helps them sell themselves on your services.

When you run a small service business, not showing up enough can diminish trust and cut the very connections that make you stand out. So it’s important to know who they are to maximize those effects.

Don’t worry – we get extremely practical about self-presentation. You’ll learn exactly what they need to hear, how to take advantage of specific psychology influences, what kinds of posts to write, and secrets that magnetic people use (hint: they don’t actually involve sharing that much!).

But the end result is a sharper focus on who you are, and who they are. This helps you know what to say before you even sit down, because you know exactly what they need to hear – and which parts of your experiences match their needs.

P.S. By popular demand, you can also grab special bundles in any combination with my other products.

]]>https://psychologyforphotographers.com/two-part-psychological-trap/feed1https://psychologyforphotographers.com/two-part-psychological-trapAn Easy Way To Get Out Of Three Uncomfortable Sales Situationshttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Psychologyforphotographerscom/~3/4BqJp1ZLHoo/easy-way-get-three-uncomfortable-sales-situations
https://psychologyforphotographers.com/easy-way-get-three-uncomfortable-sales-situations#commentsWed, 02 Nov 2016 03:47:26 +0000https://psychologyforphotographers.com/?p=10630When you make the leap from “doing something you love” over to “selling something,” you quickly find yourself in uncomfortable situations. When you were taking photos for the fun of it, you could easily walk up to someone and say “hey, can I take your picture?” But feels completely different to say “Hey, can you pay […]

When you make the leap from “doing something you love” over to “selling something,” you quickly find yourself in uncomfortable situations.

When you were taking photos for the fun of it, you could easily walk up to someone and say “hey, can I take your picture?”

But feels completely different to say “Hey, can you pay me to take your picture?”

You know how to handle the first situation – just being friendly and personable. But this other one? Eeeechhhhgghhh. It violates all kinds of social rules we have about not asking for things, not acting like you’re so great, not putting people on the spot – and more.

Navigating a new world outside the social rules you’re used to feels hard.

The thing no one tells you is:

The rules aren’t nearly as different as you think. You can and should keep being personable – especially if you’re a small business, where one of the greatest assets you have is the personal touch.

Lots of people retreat into using super formal business language to sell, thinking it’s “more professional.” It feels safer at first, because if you’re acting ‘businessy’ it doesn’t break any social rules.

But then when no one responds, and you look at your work and don’t see yourself in it, it’s dispiriting.

Making uncomfortable sales situations disappear is usually a matter of mindfully adding your personality back in.

Here are three examples that show what I mean:

1) You need to sell some sessions, but freeze as you write up some blog or Facebook copy, because you hate feeling like you’re “begging” for work.

First, let’s reframe this: You’re not asking them to buy something. You’re letting them know that you have something that they need.

Totally different thing, isn’t it?

We hate feeling like we’re selling because socially, that’s dicey ground. But we usually don’t have any problem saying “Oh – so you need this. Guess what, I can make it happen!” We feel okay with helping someone reach a goal.

Here’s how you can make that feel more natural – tell us a little about how YOU need the thing you’re selling too.

Why not post something like:

“This is the time of year I start thinking man, what am I going to do about Christmas cards? Am I already behind? And then someone yelps in the background and shatters my train of thought.

If you find yourself in the same spot of pushing something off you want to do, let me help. Drop your email below and I’ll send you a quick personal email (bullet points are a mom’s best friend!) with the essentials, and we’ll make it happen. Don’t worry, I won’t bug you – but let’s take care of this so you can get back to your afternoon.”

Most of the personal conversations we have revolve around sharing little tidbits like this. You post on Facebook “crazy day here – my kids are bouncing off the walls!” and other parents comment “yeah, me too!” or “let me know if you need anything, I’ve been there.”

There’s no reason why your business can’t have the same empathy for people. “Oh, you need Christmas cards and don’t have time? Been there. Here’s my service, and here’s how I can make it easier for you. Come on over.” Then you let them give you a list of already-interested sales leads.

Most people prefer to do business with people they know and like. Keep being personable and it makes it easier for them.

2) Someone emails that they’re unhappy with part of their order.

Eeeek this is one that feels the worst. Most people shy away from confrontation in real life, and navigating conflict in business can feel like a social hot mess.

“Hey Jane – Thanks for letting me know! I’m so sorry to hear that you were disappointed. I definitely don’t like it when something isn’t how I hoped and expected it to be, so let’s get this fixed. Here are two things we can do:”

Then you state what your policies allow for.

Just taking that second to share how you’d feel if you were in their shoes – which you’d do if a friend – will more than likely change their response.

This isn’t about bowing to their demands, it’s about showing empathy for their half of the situation.

A major reason people are often critical, mean, and angry when talking online is that we are stripped of social context that usually causes people to rein it in.

You’re less likely to get angry at someone who has an empathetic look on their face, who you know is similar to you in some way.

3) You want to email a past client to get them to schedule another session – but don’t know how to drop in out of the blue and tell them “hey – book me!”

Again, if you think of this as banging down someone’s door and saying “give me money,” sure – it’s awkward.

But think about the reframe we did in #1 – what is it they need? Most people like having updated photos every year. (If you’re a graphic designer, most people need an annual tune-up as things change. Few creative services are one-and-done.)

Most people don’t have the bandwidth to seek someone out every time to fill every need they have – some things get left un-done out of sheer inconvenience.

So again, much like in the examples above, all you have to do is start out like you’re emailing any friend. This time, a friend you haven’t talked to in awhile. Then mention a possible problem they might have and what you can do for them:

“Hey Jodi! I was just thinking about you today. How is John? How’s Sarah? How did her science competition go? This past summer I went to Yellowstone and one of the gift shops had a bunch of natural science stuff for kids – it made me smile and think of her.

I would love to work with you guys again, and who knows – maybe you were thinking it was time for an update to your Christmas card files, too! I have three spots open next month – want me to save one of them for you?”

Past clients are a good spot to start when you’re looking to fill your calendar.

(By the way: Marketing Metrics found that you’re 60-70% likely to sell to an existing customer, but only 5-20% likely to sell to someone entirely new. And 61% of small to medium-sized businesses report that over half their revenue comes from repeat customers.)

Simply dropping by, greeting them the way you would any friend, and asking if they need X because you know they Y and Z, is a much lower stress way to approach things. It also feels better than trying to make a long list of reasons to hire you again.

Business feels a lot easier when you give yourself permission to bring your own personality back in.

It’s faster to write marketing pieces, blog posts, and emails, because you’re talking more like you usually talk.

Clients like it more, because they feel the pull of similarity and empathy.

And there are all kinds of psychological influences working behind the scenes in your favor. We haven’t even scratched the surface of them.

In fact, just this week, I’ve released an entire course on how (and why!) to breathe your personality back into your business.

There are so many tools to take advantage of that I can’t cover thoroughly on the blog, so I created a course to take you through start to finish. This class gives you dozens of ways to persuade and captivate, no matter who you are or where you’re starting from.

This class is for you if you’ve ever tried to write about yourself and said:

I don’t know what people want to hear!I’ve tried, but just feel like I’m bragging!My life is just not that interesting.
I’m a private person / introvert, I don’t want to share much.
Whenever I go to write about myself, it comes out sounding dumb.
I don’t know how to sound like ME.

Writing about yourself in business does not have to be hard or mysterious. Most people simply never learned how to write about themselves (or were actively discouraged from doing so), and we can fix that.

In this class you’ll learn:

What clients actually want to hear about you, personally

Five psychological influences that make personal sharing smart business strategy

How to talk about yourself without feeling self-absorbed or boastful

How to pick stories that will draw your ideal clients in

The “it girl” secrets to dominating online (that even an introvert can steal)

How to sound like yourself when you write

Two secret tricks to being memorable – no matter your personality

How to find the right balance of personal and professional for your situation

The Never-Ending Content Generator strategy for never running out of ways to connect with your reader (seriously – you’ll have a year’s worth of blog posts in no time)

You’ll also get an exclusive invitation to our live annual virtual retreat.

Where you can ask questions that arise as you put these skills into practice, plus see how other people are making the ideas work for them.

It’s kind of like a conference, but the kind where you get to sit at home in your comfy pants. I might make admission contingent on you having a nice mug of tea at your desk, though. Might.

]]>https://psychologyforphotographers.com/easy-way-get-three-uncomfortable-sales-situations/feed2https://psychologyforphotographers.com/easy-way-get-three-uncomfortable-sales-situationsI Want You To Hear This Storyhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Psychologyforphotographerscom/~3/Ve9hT-Eb3z8/want-hear-story
https://psychologyforphotographers.com/want-hear-story#respondTue, 01 Nov 2016 07:47:12 +0000https://psychologyforphotographers.com/?p=10625My husband told me this story over the weekend, and I thought you should hear it. Imagine, he said, that you’re walking in a warm, green field. The breeze flutters past you through the grasses, and you hear birds in the trees. The kind that remind you of childhood. You sit down under a tree, […]

]]>My husband told me this story over the weekend, and I thought you should hear it.

Imagine, he said, that you’re walking in a warm, green field.

The breeze flutters past you through the grasses, and you hear birds in the trees. The kind that remind you of childhood. You sit down under a tree, and the shade makes the air just right. You close your eyes, feeling the cooled ground underneath you.

A friend walks up and quietly joins you. You can’t see them, but you know they’re there. After several minutes, they lean over to you and whisper:

“This is Gettysburg.”

How might you feel?

The moment was good before – one to remember, even. But that small piece of information changes it even further. Suddenly it’s not just a pleasant day, but one steeped in greater meaning based on what happened here before, and what it means to you.

I can’t stop thinking about this story, and what it tells us.

It’s beautiful to me.

Certainly, few things in our lives (if any) can draw a comparison to Gettysburg, and I wouldn’t try to.

But the idea that a simple piece of information – context – can change the meaning of a moment, a day, a place, a photo – is powerful.

Like when you see a photo on someone’s wall, and they tell you it was the last time they saw their grandmother, or the first time they met their husband – suddenly it means something new. It’s not the same photo.

Or in even smaller ways – say you’re sitting next to a stranger in the dentist waiting room, and you find out it’s their birthday. You might wish them happy birthday, let them go ahead of you, hold the door for them, throw a smile and wave when you leave. Just a little bit of meaning gives direction to what you do.

Now, I certainly love the great neighborhood of the Internet.

It lets me keep in touch with friends and share photos of my kid with his grandparents. It lets me speak to you and hear what you have to say in return.

But if there’s one thing I mourn, it’s that sometimes we lose context. We see people in tiny boxes – literally – a photo and the tiniest sample of their words. And we don’t tend to take as much time to seek out little pieces of context that might change how we view the day, the photo, their words.

I’ve noticed this over the past five years as I’ve talked to photographers and artists.

I’ll chat with them over Skype and – inescapable as my 7 years of psychology background is – I tend to ask a lot of questions about them. And the answers tumble out, rich and full. And no matter who they are, I’m soon stunned.

This person has the ability to really SEE love, and to help us see it too.

That person wants to make a studio a safe, quiet, warm space for a new mother to retreat to – because that’s what they longed for after they had a kid.

That guy over there is a second-generation wedding photographer, and has watched weddings evolve over four decades as he himself grew.

I’ve had so many times when I meet with someone and feel emotion rising in my throat as I see their context, their reasons for their work.

And then sometimes, I go to their online space – and – well…

It’s not there. There are only boxes. Pictures, with a few words next to them.

It’s like someone put their personality through a sieve and so many beautiful parts didn’t trickle onto the screen.

I want people to be able to see more of you.

Because the meaning of your photos, your art, your work – will change. It’ll change in a way that connects people to you, in a way that you can’t really make up for in bought ad space or increasing Google rank, useful though those things may be.

I want to be able to see the meaning behind what you do. Visitors want to see their own meaning reflected in it. It will change everything.

I don’t make new classes very often. But for the past year, I’ve steadily worked on one, and taught it to small groups.

And today, it’s here.

It’s called Irresistible You.

And it will help you put more context around yourself as you work in your business. Distill those beautiful coffee shop conversations you wish you could have with every visitor, and drip them out (or drench – as your preference may be) onto any online place you touch.

So that people will see your work differently, because they see more than just the work on the page.

what might happen if people saw more of you behind your work? What if visiting your site felt more like sitting down with you – the rich, full-of-beautiful-context you – and they felt swept away by your presence?