Crisis

To put this bluntly, whats your given ideation, for the establishment of a suicidal persons nature? and what are your must haves/dos to keep from pulling the plug. im not sure if this is okay, to post. if not, i apologize

I'm sorry, I don't think I really understand your questions, but I hope you are finding some answers to your situation and feelings.
To try and answer...
I think what brings people to consider suicide is slightly different for everyone, as we are all individuals, and that also we have different things we cling to to keep going at the toughest times. For me the thing which ultimately stops me is the hurt it would do to others - my loved ones, colleagues, my doctor and therapist, emergency service personnel - if I went through with it.