08 November 2007

With nowhere left to turn, viewers across the country are left with nothing but television hucksters for entertainment.

At least seven sitcoms, including "The Office," have stopped production along with other popular shows such as "Desperate Housewives" and "24." More shows are expected to be forced into hiatus sooner than expected as their creators and producer-writers close ranks with strikers and withhold their services.

This leaves us with nothing on television save for the Home Shopping Network and QVC! They are our only salvation; the origin of never-leave-your-house "electronic retailing" is now the final frontier of reality television! The alpha and omega. History forever doomed to repeat itself.

The sun will rise and set on the cubic zirconian empire!

It's the day after a nuclear war... you've somehow survived... the streets are neon green tumbleweeds and maybe a listless zombie or two... and all that remains is QVC and the Home Shopping Network!

AGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

the final frontier of reality television

Ummm, what was the last joke Julia Louis-Dreyfuss wrote?

What was that thing Home Shopping Network always used to say "Remember to use Tooty" or "Always use Tootie" or some shit? What the fuck was that all about?! Anyone know?