So, THREE people now have told me off for not having an ‘about me’ section. My response is always, ‘who the hell would want to read about me’ before I realise that they’re reading my blog… Then I fall back on my claim that my about me page would be a sentence, at most, as I have nothing decent to say about me. And one of my lovely new friends who I’ve met on here, Janet Burns<<(If you’re reading this, I hate you for making me do this), decided not to take that as an excuse and has sent me a list of questions to answer. So, for anyone who’s interested, (WHY?!?) here it is…

**Okay, so I feel a MASSIVE apology is due for posting this on here. I saw the length of the list and thought a couple of glasses of wine with my friend there to discuss them with would actually help. Turns out when I read this again in the morning, drowning myself in tea and staring regrettably at the two empty bottles, this was a BAD idea… My grammar, spelling and answers in general are atrocious. I would just delete it, but I think a couple of the questions, though badly put, are actually quite nice to keep. As I said earlier ‘It may be drunken nonsense, but it’s true drunken nonsense’. **

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Not my first name, but my middle name is Catherine, after my Granny Rena.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? On Monday when I was sitting at two in the morning surrounded by notes on Much Ado About Nothing and realised I was probably going to fail English, drop out of Uni and become a busker, then I realised I couldn’t play guitar or accordion (instruments which I seem to associate with busking), so I would just end up being a plain old bum. 😥 Ok, so I wasn’t in the best of moods…

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? What a strange question. Yes, I do, because it is illegible to everyone but me. It’s like secret code.

4. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? No! I had them removed when I was wee. I remember getting to play in the kids bit, but I was too shy to go talk to the other kids, and I just sat with my doll, Petal, and made little people out of pegs…

5. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? What? Why would I do that? That’d just mean I had to tie them again when I want to put them on.

6. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? If they have eye contact, and if they smile.

7. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Well, this is probably the easiest to answer. A lot of things. Particularly? My lack of confidence, my looks, my fainting, my self-doubt, my squint smile. I could go on forever, but I think you get the picture.

8. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Um, embarrassingly enough, it’s Aqua, Doctor Jones. It’s part of my ‘cheer the f*ck up’ playlist on youtube. Don’t Judge Me.

9. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Why would I want to be a crayon? Black.

10. FAVORITE SMELL? The Butcher’s (as in the shop, not the people, although I’m sure butchers smell good too.) I love the smell of raw meat.

11. IF YOU COULD SIT DOWN TO DINNER WITH FIVE LIVING PEOPLE WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

The Dalai Lama (His laugh makes my insides melt. Also, I would like to ask him whether the chicken or the egg came first)

The Pope (He’s be an interesting dinner date. Wonder if I’d manage not to offend him greatly. Probably not)

Nic Vujicic (If you’ve not heard of this man, you should. He’s one of the most inspiring people on the planet)

Alan Rickman (I would sell my soul to this man. I’d just spend the whole of dinner staring in awe, and wondering how I could get him naked. His laugh also makes my insides melt.)

Also, I’m going to cheat and say Stephanie Meyers, ’cause I have more than a few choice words for her…

12. IF YOU COULD SIT DOWN TO DINNER WITH FIVE DECEASED PEOPLE WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

My granny and papa (they count as one person… Because I’ve never had the chance to meet them and I just want to know if they’d approve of what I was doing with my life and if they were still watching me. Also, I’d like to know if I really did see my granny’s ghost when I was little. My mum thought I had a imaginary friend who I’d sit and talk to called ‘the lady’ (clearly I was inventive..) but one day my dad was showing me pictures and I pointed to one of my Granny when she was younger and said ‘look, there’s the lady’. My mum’s now convinced she was visiting me from heaven.)

Jesus (what a cool dude. Who wouldn’t want to have a conversation with big J Chrimbo? (I’ve been referring to him as that in my theology notes.) )

The Buddha (Obviously, I have a million questions for this man. Also, he too is super cool)

Hitler (I just think it would be interesting to have a snap shot into evil. And I’m too afraid to invite the devil to tea)

Also, Elvis would be nice, but as he’s obviously not really dead….

13.HAS ANYONE EVER SAVED YOUR LIFE? Yes. Numerous people. Most notably, Sarah, my friend stopped me fainting in front of a car the other week. Also, Pamela has no doubt prevent my demise in several ways by now. Oh, my teacher Miss M, though she doesn’t know how, and I don’t think I’m ever going to tell her! But she did. And thank you, by the way, for doing it.

14.NAME FIVE PEOPLE THAT HAVE INSPIRED YOU.

Okay, so I’ll again have to list Nic Vujicic. I’ll try and link >Here< to his site.(YAY! It worked! I’m a technological genius!!) He’s amazing.

Erm, Pamela Dutch, who I don’t think reads this blog but she has been one person in my life who has inspired me in so many ways. She’s had such a lot to deal with and has always been so strong about it. Also, she’s always got some wacky idea for me to write about. I’d love to spend a day in her brain, but I doubt I’d survive such genius.

My mum and dad (again, count as one person) ’cause they just get on with things, nothing ever stops them doing what they have to do for me and Bethany.

Um, probably the buddha, though it’s a bit of a cop out answer. It’s true, with out him and his teachings my life would be far duller. Far simpler too! But that’s not necessarily a bad thing!

Finally, I’d have to show my incredible geekiness here and surprise no one by saying that the people I’ve got the most inspiration from is my teachers. That’s a bit general, I know, but every teacher I’ve had, right through from primary school have done more to inspire me, in class, and in life, than anyone else. I know that being a teacher is one of the most difficult jobs and I admire anyone who dedicates their lives to teaching others. It is, ultimately, what I want to do with my life, and I want to do it because I know that without my teachers, all of them, I would never have made it to where I am. If I hadn’t had not only the learning, but the support my teachers have offered me, then God only knows where I’d be right now. If I could be to one person what my teachers are to me, then it would validate everything I’ve been through up to now, and everything I’m going to go through to get there. I think that, although every teacher has ‘inspired’ me, there have been a few, four actually, who have done more even than this.

Three of them I was lucky enough to spend the majority of last year with, but the first was my P2 teacher, Miss R, who sadly moved to Canada, breaking the hearts of many doting school children. She was fantastic and SO encouraging. I think she really helped boost the confidence of everyone in her classes and, though I didn’t realise it at the time, she actually was the first person to introduce me to meditation, through our class ‘quiet time’ which was in fact just a guided ten minute meditation. These were meditations with a twist though, as she made a point, during each one, to have us do something creative, imagine ourselves in a far away place, make a picture on a blank canvas and the like. It was really a great year, my favourite in primary school actually, even though I was a bit young to actually remember everything properly! The other three, anyone who was with school to me can easily guess.

My English teacher Mrs J, was absolutely great. She helped me so much when it came to my course work, even just sitting chatting to me about the novels we were studying when she offered me sanctuary in her room when I was ill due to my fainting. She also helped a LOT in building my confidence with my writing, she was the first teacher I had, (save my second year teacher, who actually is on this list) who took an interest in my writing, praising it and offering valuable criticism and help and wouldn’t let me get away with thinking of it as crap.

The second is Miss M, who is absolutely fantastic. I honestly can’t think of anyone who has helped me progress more in English, both in my critical abilities of analysing and writing but also with my creative writing too. More than that though, she was always there if I needed her, just to rant to or, as with several occasions, have a good cry and then be told everything will be all right. As I’ve said above, she has done so much more for me than she could realise and honestly has inspired me by just being there and being so kind and nice and lovely and I’m going to stop now before the sickly sweetness of this makes me vomit.

Okay, lastly, but not least, is Mrs C, who was my guidance teacher at school and who helped me through a RIDICULOUS amount of stuff at school. She was just brilliant. I can’t even describe how much I owe this woman, and how I honestly would not have managed without her. So, she’s inspired me with that and also by somehow managing to be every where all at once and handle everyone’s problems and be everyone’s guardian angel without even seeming to break a sweat. God only knows how she manages it, I still hold onto my belief that she’s either learned how to time travel or there’s actually three of her.

I know that nobody who reads this actually knows these teachers, but I couldn’t have answered this question without mentioning them, as they have inspired me more than anyone else. Also, I got to cheat and say four people in one by just saying teachers. 🙂 I’m a jammy git, I know.

Now, the rest of the questions are… interesting? If I’ve managed to answer any of them legibly by the time I post this, be VERY impressed.

Which is worse, failing or never trying? Failing, but honestly, I have such a fear of failing, I’d probably just never try.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Life is too short because of these things, not the other way round.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? I will DEFINITELY have more said than done.

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? Probably, people’s opinions. I think if I could change one person’s opinion then it would be amazing. Oh, also death, poverty, sickness and all that jazz.

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Reading EVERYTHING. And listening to people, anyone really, but especially really old people with things to say that actually mean something.

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? I’m trying to… Maybe not succeeding as well as I’d like.

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I would spend more time doing nothing. I think nothing is something we don’t do often enough.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? Not much, but I think that’s changing.

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing things right, even though I know that’s wrong.

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? I wonder why I respect them in the first place. And ask them to stop, politely. *cough cough*

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Remember that when you think you’re always right, you’re generally always wrong, and when you think you’re always wrong, you’re generally always right. And when in doubt, ask mum. Or Wiki.

Would you break the law to save a loved one? Yes, without hesitation.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Yes. Pamela Dutch, although I do still see insanity…

What’s something you know you do differently than most people? I wash my hands before going to the toilet, as well as after.

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Don’t start a question with ‘how come’.

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? Told someone a secret I have that I’ve never told anyone before. Myself.

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Yes, I am. I think my belief in God and Christianity fits into this category, but I just can’t seem to just stop justifying it, even if I’ve stopped believing it.

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? India, I think. Or China.

Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? No. Who the hell thinks that?

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Worried genius. Happiness is not happiness if you don’t understand why you’ve got it, who caused it and how to keep it. Only a genius knows that.

Why are you, you? Because I am not really me. *Search Sunyata, may explain this, as I cannot. Too confusing.

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? No. I wish I was though.

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? The latter, it’s happened far too often and you don’t even have an excuse for it.

What are you most grateful for? My family, My friends, Sarah, and Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough icecream.

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? I have no idea. Both sound awful. I can’t chose.

Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? No. Never. Ever. But then, haven’t I just done that by believing this to be truth automatically? Mental.

Has your greatest fear ever come true? Yes, but someone important stopped it before the consequences broke everything.

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now? Yes, and Yes, but only because I get to laugh and realise I’m better than that now.

What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? My sister falling into a pile of poo at a farm, and obviously because it was HILARIOUS.

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? When I was first told by Mrs J, my English teacher, that a story I’d submitted was good. Genuinely could have floated over the moon that day.

If not now, then when? Later, if I can be bothered.

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? Everything, and nothing. See, I can be vague too.

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? Yes, actually, most Thursdays last year.

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Religions don’t people do.

Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? No. There’s always a grey area.

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? I don’t have one, so no. But IF I DID and it was being a teacher than no, not for all the tea in china. (I don’t even like tea… Ah, the power of the cliché)

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? The latter, I love being busy. Even if I don’t like what I’m doing, I’d rather be doing that than nothing.

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? Parts of it, yes.

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? I refuse to answer this question. It’s just horrible.

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? Well, I’m already with my family, so I would have to say I would try and visit the people on the list I wrote above who’ve inspired me and thank them. I’m sure in the Dalai Lama’s last day he’d be happy to waste it with me…