One hundred and eight days into my Junior year’s second term, and I can slowly feel my energy failing like a melting candle in a dark room. All I feel like doing now is sleeping and lying down in bed, barely opening my Pharmacology notes in time for exams, cramming Manufacturing Pharmacy, a 180 degree turn from my vigor compared to my enthusiasm when I took its prerequisite subject last term.

The subjects are getting into my nerves, and the more that I feel like giving up, the more that I wanna hold back tears from the lack of courage, I fall further down into the pit where I once emerged from, two years ago when I started a new leaf in my new College.

But as my worries start to creep in, I am reminded of a passage:

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave nor forsake you”. (Deuteronomy 31:6, NIV)

And yes, the Lord has always been with me, and at times, I may be at guilt whenever I forget His presence, He comes at our side, telling us

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ( Isaiah 41:10, NIV)

That is why, despite the downslide that I am currently facing right now, I know that it would be senseless to stay here at this pit.

So, I start climbing back.
And though it may take me longer than expected,
I know that I’ll emerge victorious by His side.

Not because you have led a happy life with somebody else; nor is it because you have the smiles of a person who is truly in love with someone. But because someone who I truly care about, has never broken the chains of bondage that he still links with you. The scars you have left, can never be erased. And the love that he yearns, that, I can never encompass.

For no matter how I try to lift his head up, it will always be your mere presence that makes him smile with joy and laugh with a ring I might never have the chance to hear. That despite my frequent texts, it has always been your messages that gives him the chills, and he admits, that it hurts him inside to have you turned down every single time.

That in his sleep, he is in my prayers every night. But you – whom we all know, is happy with somebody else, still kill him inside with the memories of you, that he might never be able to withdraw fully from his heart. And with every inch of effort that I try to put in, I just can’t figure out how I can get you out of his mind, and his weary heart.

Yes, I have to admit, that I admire you for being able to make him love you the way he loves you. And, I shall always be behind your shadow, and be the second best.

Last night’s Pre-Valentine’s Party/ PACSiklaban Kick-Off Party, organized by the Philippine Association of Chemistry Students at the IMS Tower in Sta Cruz Manila, would surely count as one of my most memorable experiences for 2013. Though I’m not really a party-goer (since I don’t go to bars often), I did enjoy the lights, sounds,the booze, and most especially, the fun time I spent with my Orgmates, and fellow Chemistry students who came with me to the party.

Having survived the Midterm Exam week, the OxyToxin event was my best outlet to unwind and have fun. Though, most of my sophomore classmates were absent during the event, I definitely had fun being with some of the Juniors and the Seniors who were there in the event – Guiller, Ate Shena, Ate Micah, Kuya Robert, Kuya Miggy, Ate Jel, Ate Racquel, and Ate Erika. Each of us had to state our relationship statuses at the registration booth, since we had to wear a specific color for the bands – blue/pink for Single, and green/yellow for ‘In a Relationship’. As for yours truly, he didn’t have to fake his status and chose a blue one.

As the hour passed by, the function room started to fill up with students from different member organizations, like UP KEM, UP BCS, UP ChemSoc, UST-Chem Soc, and Biochem Soc and the PUP ChemSoc. Four representatives from their societies performed on stage for a talent show, and there were games that were played in between performances. They even had a ‘BeerPong’ table at the corner of the function room, and an open bar at the middle of the party area.

Around past 11 in the evening, my fellow Chemistry students danced their way to the stage, and even my friend (a high school batchmate, who is a member from UP KEM) couldn’t help but imagine that his orgmates really do party hard. As for me, I was lucky enough to get home without getting very drunk!

Though, I didn’t come home with a date, or with someone to celebrate the Valentine’s Day, the fun-filled event was enough for me to enjoy, and to share that awesome feeling that I needed to experience once in awhile.