How Did You Enjoy Your African Vacation, America?

The wildlife safari adventure must have been the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen! Will you show me pictures of the beautiful lions, tigers, elephants and giraffes?

I envy you, America! To be able to tour the historic museums and other tourist sites and attractions is something I am sure you will never forget!

America, you have experienced one of my life-long dreams! You got to experience the beautiful continent of Africa!

Wait! You didn’t enjoy it? Ohhhh, you didn’t get to go to Africa! Well, you most certainly paid well over half a million dollars for an exquisite African vacation for an entire family as well as a whole slew of other people!

My dear America, you have provided air fare, luxury lodging accommodations, travel expenses within the country, the most lavish of meals and other miscellaneous expenses not only for the first lady, but also for her two daughters, the first mother-in-law (Michelle Obama’s mother), and two of the first cousins (the children of Michelle Obama’s brother Craig Robinson). Then you must also figure in provisions for Secret Service protection and the miscellaneous staffers (we know there are at least 24 on staff, which is more than any of our previous First Ladies. How many of these assistants went on your vacation we do not know).

The First Lady took your African vacation supposedly to promote “youth leadership, education, health and wellness”. However, this so-called Lady who loves to poke her nose in your business, telling you what you need to eat, how often you need to exercise, and taking your salt from restaurant tables most certainly has no intention of giving up those tasty french-fries that she wants you to give up!

Speaking to a group of college kids at the University of Cape Town, when asked what her favorite food is, she said: french fries! Not only did she say french fries, but went on to say:

“I Can’t Stop Eating French Fries. But Eat Your Vegetables”.

Yes, she laughed, as if it were a joke, but we all know this is not the case! She thinks it is perfectly ok for her to make choices for herself, but believes you, America, are too stupid and lazy to make your own choices!

Not to disappoint, on her stop in Botswana she treated herself to a feast of …… you guessed it! French fries! But not only did she have her beloved french fries, she also had fat cakes! Tsk, tsk, tsk, Michelle! FAT cakes? That cannot be healthy!

Ohhhhhhh… that’s right! I forgot! It’s “do as I say, not as I do” with you!

I hope you enjoyed my vacation! It sure would have been nice to go myself… since I and the other tax payers of this great nation paid for it! You may try to say you had “official White House business” to attend to, but the U.S. Embassy spokeswoman made it quite clear what your main goal was when she said:

“the trip was partially a personal pilgrimage for the first lady.”

In the future, Mrs. Obama- pay for your own personal pilgrimage! If you haven’t noticed this nation is just a bit cash strapped at the moment, thanks in large part to your husband!