‘IT’S a good thing I’ve had many years of therapy,” jokes a veteran Broadway publicist. “Because this week I’ve had every pro ducer you can think of on my couch.”

Broadway’s in the grip of Awards Anxiety now that the Outer Critics Circle and the Drama Desk have unveiled their nominees.

Truth be told, neither the Outer Critics Circle (composed of out-of-town critics) nor the Drama Desk (more critics, from God knows where) is a great barometer of the crucial Tony Awards nominations, which are out next month.

Eleven Outer Critics nominations for “Mary Poppins”?

Well, what do you expect from a group that showered “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” – a sister show to “Mary Poppins” in so many ways – with 10?

Producers privately snicker that the Outer Critics Circle members are from Outer Space (“I swear, some of them have three eyes and antennas”) and that the Drama Desk is made of people “who’re all paid up on their cemetery plots.”

Still, it’s better to be nominated than not, and this week production offices were buzzing with: What Does It All Mean?

Here’s a rundown of where things stand for some high-profile shows:

“LEGALLY BLONDE” (OCC nominations: 0; Drama Desk: 10)

The Think Pink Team was in a blue funk Monday because the show didn’t pick up a single OCC nomination. The buzz is pretty good, so the shutout was unexpected. Some of the Pinkies worried that, while the show may be popular with teenage girls, it’ll be dismissed as just so much fluff by critics and Tony nominators.

Yesterday’s 10 Drama Desk nominations were a big relief.

The box office is clicking along nicely, but the Pinkies still crave legitimacy from the theater community.

In other words, they want, they hunger for – they’re prepared to kill for – that Tony Award.

“SPRING AWAKENING” (OCC noms: 3; Drama Desk: 10)

Its 8,456 producers once were pretty sure that the Tony for Best Musical was theirs. But they’ve picked up the good buzz about “Legally Blonde” (with so many pairs of ears, how could they not?), and I’m beginning to see fear in their 16,912 eyes.

“MARY POPPINS” (OCC noms: 11; Drama Desk: 6)

Disney execs are under no illusion. They were snubbed last year on “Tarzan,” and they don’t expect any better treatment this year. The OCC and Drama Desk nominations are a nice surprise. But Disney knows they mean bupkis. And nobody’s banking on any help from the Tony nominators next month.

“THE COAST OF UTOPIA” (OCC noms: 9; Drama Desk: 10)

Tom Stoppard‘s nine-hour epic about 19th-century Russian intellectuals emerged this week as the play to beat. Yes, some insiders think it’s a slog, but plenty find it exhilarating (though a few admit to nodding off at times).

Producers constantly complain that Tony voters don’t bother to see all the shows, and you’d think that “Coast of Utopia” (at least Part III) would be exhibit A. But I hear that, in this case, Tony voters are doing their duty.

“Frost/Nixon” is a competitor, but right now it appears that “Utopia’ is going to pick up every award in sight.

“LOVEMUSIK” (OCC noms: 5; Drama Desk: 12)

A shining example of just how off-base these nominations can be. Nobody – nobody – thinks “LoveMusik,” a musical based on the correspondence between Lotta Lenya and Kurt Weill, poses any threat to “Spring Awakening” or “Legally Blonde.”

It’s arty, and it’s long (more than three hours at the first preview, thank you very much), and if it emerges as a true contender, I’ll march right over to Donna Murphy‘s dressing room and serenade her with “September Song.”

“THE PIRATE QUEEN” (OCC noms: 1; Drama Desk: 1)

Snicker, snicker.

Producers Moya Doherty and John McColgan haven’t had time to lick their wounds this week. They’re too busy erecting barriers around the Hilton Theater to keep out Mel Brooks and Susan Stroman.

ON Monday, a bunch of theater critics and reporters took part in a staged reading of George Bernard Shaw’s delightful old comedy, “Androcles and the Lion.”

I had a small role, but I’m far too modest to toot my own horn. However, I was brilliant.

My colleague, Frank Scheck, did a nice little turn as well, and wrote up this first-person account:

At last, the chance to demonstrate my long-buried thespian talents! If I had to share the stage with my doubtless capable colleagues, so be it.

For the pivotal role of Secutor, a Roman gladiator – clearly a case of typecasting – [the producer] requested I come by to be fitted for a loincloth. After the stunned silence that followed, he added, “Just kidding!” Ha, ha.

Of course, I didn’t agree easily. I made my usual demands: a therapeutic massage before the show; a bowl of M&Ms in my dressing room, the green ones removed; and so on.

Nervousness kicked in shortly before showtime, even though my role proved minor (had I any fewer lines, I would have been playing a corpse). But the 250-seat house was sold out, the audience no doubt composed almost entirely of disgruntled actors, directors and playwrights to whom I’d given bad reviews. And I knew that when the time came, I would mispronounce the five-syllable name of my fellow gladiator, Retiarious. (You try it if you think it’s so easy.)

The show went without a hitch, although many of my fellow actors, so restrained during rehearsal, hammed it up like late-career Oliviers. I underplayed, although many probably mistook my restraint for somnolence. I did score a few laughs, admittedly with Shaw’s help.

Now that it’s over, I have a newfound respect and empathy for anyone who dares to step in front of the footlights. Shaw, a theater critic himself before he started writing plays, no doubt would have happily approved of this turning of the tables.