Thursday, January 20, 2011

debt.

Copay costs: $10 per visitEEG services: $10 per visitMRI services: $10 per visitParking at Roswell: variedParking at BGH: variedHaving people "close" to you not show concern that you have a brain tumor: very, very taxing

This is a really big deal. Because I already had one (a tumor, a surgery, a recovery), does that make this finding insignificant? Is this news UNshocking? Are people calloused by the word "tumor" since it has come up so many times this year?

Abnormal cells regrew in my brain within just a few months. IN. MY. BRAIN. After this surgery, 10% of my temporal lobe will be removed. Healthy tissue surrounding the tumor will also be removed to do more research in an attempt to prevent future recurrences. There will never be complete assurance that there won't be future recurrences. There is always a chance. I will have to get MRIs done indefinitely.

I'm not sure people understand just how serious/dangerous/unbelievably frightening this is. There are incredible risks.

There's a silly quote out there about people not deserving your best if they don't love you at your worst. Cliche as it may be, the sentiment is absolutely applicable. Everything has more significance now. Everything has more weight, whether it be kindness or neglect (not gonna lie, I put on a few pounds myself).

Please don't tell me to look on the bright side. I had 238 seizures in the month of December (no exaggeration; we keep a journal of every one). There is no positive spin on that.

Don't misunderstand; many people have reached out with kind words. It's just that-the ones I'm supposed to rely on the most have delivered the least.