It’s okay to enjoy a flutter, but you’ve just put £20 on Mohamed Salah, your captain, to score a whole load of hat-tricks at the worst possible odds.

Actually, you’ve just put £20 on *your* Mohamed Salah to score more hat-tricks than everyone else’s Mohamed Salah, or something.

5. You have picked Callum Wilson or Josh King

Bournemouth have some really good players, Callum Wilson and Josh King included.

It’s a known fact, however, that despite Wilson and King’s goalscoring exploits last season (14 and 11), neither player will score while selected in your FPL team.

Move on.

6. You are one of those weird N’Golo Kante people

Not saying you literally picked N’Golo Kante — although, as usual, more than 10 per cent of managers have done precisely that. You might have picked Nemanja Matic. Or Mateo Guendouzi. Maybe you’ve got your eye on Declan Rice.

Here’s the thing about this.

You might say, reasonably, that it’s only the fair-weather managers picking defensive midfielders in their FPL squads, managers reluctantly drafted into a mini-league to make up the numbers. The ‘set and forget’ brigade.

There’s probably some truth in that.

The thing is though, N’Golo Kante, Nemanja Matic and Mateo Guendouzi aren’t that famous. They’re really famous, yeah, but they’re not, like, significantly more famous than half the players in the league.

Furthermore, if you’ve picked N’Golo Kante (£5.0), a defensive midfielder, you obviously haven’t used the ‘Auto Pick’ function. You have made a tactical choice. You have assessed certain factors and variables, and you have chosen N’Golo Kante for your Fantasy Premier League squad named ‘Tanguy Ndombellend’.

Now though, at a hefty £5.5m, and as pretty much the only good defender at Man United, the ‘spider’ is going straight down the water spout.

Rubbish, rubbish choice. Get rid.

8. You believe in the ‘new’ Everton

Yeah, Andre Gomes is handsome, but this ‘exciting’ summer STINKS of 2017.

By selling Idrissa Gueye, Everton have just lost the second-best defensive midfielder in the league (you’d have picked him at £5.0, wouldn’t you?), replacing him with Fabian Delph and the basics of football.

Earlier this year, Milivojevic had some incredibly nice things to say about his manager, Roy Hodgson.

“We are very proud to have Roy Hodgson with us,” the midfielder gushed. “I told him after the game that I dedicate my goal to him because I think he deserves that.

“We are so happy and so proud to have him with us, we can learn a lot from him. He’s the most intelligent manager in my career and all credit to him.

“We’re going to continue to fight for him because he deserves it.”

Given that you, the reader, are also Roy Hodgson (see point 1), don’t you think you should be a bit more bloody appreciative of Luka Milivojevic, who is giving you all the credit and who will continue to fight for you?

Don’t you think you should let him score a penalty for you every bloody match?