The Weirdest Thing about Middle School

This school year brought about a big change in our house: middle school.

And it’s weird.

Not for my son- he’s adjusted to it and really likes his new school.

But it’s weird for me.

He was at the same elementary school from kindergarten through fifth grade, most of those years with a brother or two in tow.

I knew his teachers, the teachers knew him, knew our family.

They knew what kind of kid my son was.

I knew how things worked, what was expected, and who to ask if there was something I wasn’t sure about. Plus, there were a ton of reminders about it all, too…emails, texts, notes in their daily folders or agendas.

From volunteering in their classes, I knew who most of their classmates were.

It was all very comfortable.

And now middle school.

I don’t know any of it.

It first hit me when we attended middle school open house and I had not a single clue where anything in the school was. It felt completely foreign. And while that might quickly change in an elementary school, middle school remains a mystery because there’s no reason for me to be in those halls.

The teachers my son has are getting to know him, but with so many different classes a day, that takes a while. And they don’t know who he is well enough to know oh, yeah, he’s a good kid, let me give him the benefit of the doubt on this(whatever this is- he hasn’t yet earned that). He’s got to start all over. And while he’s taken this in stride, it makes me anxious.

While the school has some general guidelines (and yes, info on their website), every teacher does things a little bit differently.

And while some information is relayed to parents through that website or even a weekly recorded call with some announcements, we aren’t told everything. Some things, our kids just have to remember… and yes, they should be able to do that, but it’s still so weird to have it all on them.

If there’s something that he’s not sure about, I don’t even know who to ask. In elementary, you ask the kids’ homeroom teacher. In middle school, you have to figure out who is in charge of what and would know what information you’re looking for. (Or, to be honest, if you’re me, you bug your friend who works at the school, even though I try really hard not to do this unless I’ve tried everything else first….)

It’s strange that I can’t really imagine what my son is doing… only vaguely having an idea of what the teachers he’s talking about even look like, let alone what they are like. The names of the kids he’s in class with don’t mean anything to me since only about a dozen or so kids from his elementary school are in the same middle school as he is.

I knew middle school would be a big change.

I just never realized that it would be a bigger change for me than for my son. And that the weirdest thing about middle school would be how out of the loop I feel.

And that this is just the beginning of being out of the loop. That, as my child grows, everything will be more and more on him, with me only knowing what he chooses to share with me.

I know it will be fine, that this is a good thing, a part of him growing up.

Comments

I can so relate to this post! My daughter started 5th grade, which in our district is at the middle school. Luckily we live in a small school district where there is just one elementary school, so my daughter knows all her classmates. However, there is different teachers and no parent teacher conferences. They really foster independence and responsibility in the kids. My biggest fear is her being in the building with 8th graders. However, they have set up the building where the 5th grade has their own wing. As much as it’s very different than the elementary school my daughter is LOVING the whole experience. So, I’m going with it!

Oh, how I remember those days! It was a very hard transition for me as well. I really did not feel that my second one was ready, but he is in 10th grade now and doing well. You are so right, it is really weird! I am not too much of a control type, but our children are still very young when they start middle school. They still need our guidance and protection, but they do also need to start taking more responsibility. I remember when my oldest started highschool and made the baseball team. The coach never emailed us. I did not understand this at all! Did he really think that these kids would remember about practices and to let their parents know when to pick them up and what was going on? I was floored! I really had to sit down and realize that my son was growing up and that whether he could handle this or not, it was time for him too. All went pretty well, with only a few hiccups, and he learned some very valuable lessons.
Our youngest is homeschooled so we will be able to hold off on this type of thing for a little longer, but the day will still come when I am in the same weirdness with him.
It is bittersweet raising our little arrows!

This is a very funny post for me to read, as I’m still in school myself. Ah, well, I’m sure you’ll adjust with time!
Are you still doing this meme?

Welcome to Things I Can't Say: Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom. I'm Shell. Boy mom, beach girl, bookworm, ball games, baker, brand ambassador, Thinking yoga, food, and travel should start with "b," too. Finding the easiest way to do some things while overthinking so many others. Read More…