(I’m dropping off a tablet with charging problems at the technical support desk of a national retail chain where I purchased the warranty to go with it. We’re almost finished with the last of the paperwork when this happens.)

Me: “Oh, great! You put down that it’s intermittent so the techs will see it. Now I’m sure they’ll get it right.”

Tech:*who’s checking me out* “Yes, ma’am, I’m sorry this is so frustrating. I have to put the information in the notes or our techs won’t know about it.”

Me:*signing the form* “Yes… ah… I was just saying… I was glad that…”

Tech:*sounding defensive and upset* “I’m sorry, it can be confusing, but I HAVE to have this information in the notes. Again, I’m sorry, but this is the way it has to be done.”

Me:*in shock* “Ah… yes… that’s very good… Thank you.”

Tech:*backing away, waving his hands as if to calm me down* “Ma’am, please… There’s no need to get upset. Our techs are going to work on this as quickly as possible for you.”

Me: “Oh, yes, I know. Should be about two to three weeks? Maybe a little longer if it takes them some time to replicate the—”

Tech:*nearly diving away from the counter as if I’m going to physically attack him* “Two or three weeks is the minimum. It could take longer than that though if they have trouble. You’ll get email notifications… Now, please… We’ve done what you ask… There’s no reason to be angry. You’ll get an email when it’s ready.”

Me:*just standing at the counter and holding the paperwork, watching him literally run away from the counter* “Ah… thanks?”

(This takes place before ordering items over the Internet was popular. I am about to travel abroad and need an outlet adapter to plug in electronic devices and, given that each country has its own wiring system, I’m unsure of what to order. This happens when I am on the phone with a popular electronics store.)

Me: “I’m traveling to Africa and I need to know which outlet adapter I should buy.”

(I work as a cashier at a well-known electronics chain. I am expected to offer a protection plan for products to a certain number of people a day, or else I will be questioned and possibly written up. One customer shows up at my till with a pair of earbuds for $5.99. The screen prompts me to tell him about a potential protection plan.)

Me:*bursts out laughing* “What? I’m sorry. May I ask you something?”

Customer: “Okay…?”

Me:*trying to keep a straight face* “Would you like buy a protection plan for your earbuds in case of accidental damage for $9.99?”

(The customer stares at me.)

Customer: “You’re kidding, right?”

Me: “Nope!”

Customer: “You know that’s more than the earbuds themselves, right?”

Me: “Yep!”

Customer: “Why would I buy a protection plan for $9.99 when I could easily just replace the earbuds for another $5.99?”

Me: “Good question!”

Customer: “But you still asked me…?”

Me: “I know. It was just too funny not to offer it. Obviously, I knew you’d say no.”

Customer: “And you were absolutely right. I can’t believe you’re expected to try to sell something like that!”

(I work at a store that sells electronics, so whenever we process a return we must check the product and its contents to ensure nothing’s been stolen. Usually we have a technology associate do this, but usually there is some leeway depending on the product. I am manning the cash. It should be noted that it is the back-to-school season and so our lines are very long.)

Customer: “I was wondering if I could return this laptop?”

Me: “Sure thing, let me just get someone to okay the product.”

(I page for a technology associate, all of whom are with customers.)

Me: “Sorry, it’ll be just a few minutes.”

(After waiting a few minutes, I repeat the page.)

Customer: “It’s unopened.”

(I check the product and notice that it is, in fact, sealed. Given that the tech associates are known to take their time and my line is getting longer and longer, I decide to process the return anyways, knowing that nothing could have been stolen. In the middle of processing the return, however, a tech associate finally shows up.)

Coworker: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m processing the return for this laptop.”

Coworker: “But you have to get it checked.”

Me: “I already checked it; it’s sealed.”

Coworker: “But you have to get a tech associate to check it.”

Me: “But it’s sealed.”

Coworker: “But a tech associate has to check it.”

Me: “Fine.”

(Looks at the item and sees that it’s sealed.)

Coworker: “Go ahead. Make sure to check with an associate next time.”

(The best part? He then came back fifteen minutes later to criticise me for about ten minutes because, despite my long line and the fact that the item was clearly unopened, I hadn’t called over a tech associate.)