__The campus will house a new underground auditorium, where Tim Cook intends to summon reporters for all future press events.__No one gets out alive without hearing at least one bad Phil Schiller joke.

__Many Apple employees will have access to the campus’s 2,000-space parking garage via a futuristic, subterranean tunnel.__Apple will swallow you one day, too.

__Apple built the main campus in a circular shape because they found rectangles, squares, long buildings, and buildings with more than four stories would inhibit collaboration.__These findings were heavily influenced by Foucault’s Discipline and Punish.**

__Because the structure will be built with natural ventilation and radiant cooling, the spaceship won’t need air conditioning for the majority of the year.__Air conditioning is for people who use buttons.

There is not one piece of straight glass in the building. While overseeing plans for the curved glass, Steve Jobs found the industry standard of 1/8 inch breaks between surfaces to be inappropriate and asked that the gaps in his new headquarters be no greater than 1/32 inch across. If you think about it, no company with 1/8 inch breaks in its curved glass walls actually respects itself.

__Apple trees will be displayed prominently near the center of the mothership’s park, while other fruit trees such as plums, persimmons, olives, apricots, and cherries will line its edges.__Lesser fruit is planted where it deserves to be planted.

__Apple employs a man with the title of “Senior Arborist.”__That is all.

All of this obviously raises the question: how many fractions of an inch exist between the curved glass walls in Kanye West’s life? We bet it’s not 1/32 . . .