Some bucket list items are small and can be knocked off in an afternoon, some are a little bit longer in the making. So it is for #79 – Run a Marathon. Although, technically, the actual running did just take a few hours (no, I’m not going to say how many). I’ve got to be honest, I’m quite proud of this one. Mostly this is because I am THE LEAST SPORTY PERSON EVER. Seriously, at school, I was the skinny, asthmatic kid with a note from my Mother. Now, I’m the skinny, asthmatic grown-up (don’t say it!) who ran a marathon. The reason I look so happy in the photograph? – It means I don’t have to run another one!!

I love running, I really do. It has been one of the major factors in my recovery. I have run at least twice a week for the last year. I have run with friends, I have run on my own. I have run at Parkrun and at half marathons. I have run through sun, rain and the occasional blizzard. And I have never come back from a run without feeling better than when I set off. That said…… I’m not sure I want to run a marathon again. Oh, I’m really glad I did it, but I feel like once may be enough……… for now, anyway. Last Sunday was hard work. It (as the photo will attest) chucked it down with rain from start to finish. My feet were pruned within the first 2 miles. My hands stopped working around mile 12 (my gloves were so wet, I kept wringing them out). At mile 19 the lovely young man in the first aid tent had to wrap me in foil because I was so cold. So yeah, I can’t exactly say it was a ‘fun’ Sunday. But I did it.

I need to thank S&C for being my support crew that day. They hung around in a freezing cold York in order to cheer me over the finish line (and more importantly drive me home afterwards!) They also bought me a cheese and tomato sandwich, some Espom salts, and helped me get my soaking wet bra down my sleeve in the car park so I didn’t have to wear the sodding thing all the way home. That’s what real friends do. Thank you guys.

So, here comes the bit that makes me a little uncomfortable. As well as running a marathon because it is on my bucket list, I also did it to raise money for charity – specifically the charity Rethink, who have done a lot to help my recovery over the last couple of years. If you want to find out more about what they do, check out their website:

And, if you would like to make a donation to my fundraising, the link is at the bottom of this blog. Why should you donate? Maybe because of the (literally) life-saving work that Rethink does. Maybe because watching me try and get out of S&C’s car on Sunday was hilarious. Maybe you want to donate in memory of my toenail, which I suspect I may be about to part company with. Whatever your reason, I will be truly grateful if you can spare me a couple of quid.

P.S. I realise that normal people decide to do a fundraiser, then get sponsored, then do it. I, quite frankly, couldn’t take the pressure of doing it in that order, hence why I am asking for sponsorship retrospectively. Just try and think of it as one of my loveable quirks.

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Published by hownottokillyourself14

I am a 40 year old woman, who approximately a year ago was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. One of the major features of this, for me, is suicidal ideation. Or, in other words, an obsession with ending my own life. In this blog I plan to chronicle my efforts to stay alive, share a little bit about my experience of living with BPD and hopefully make you laugh (a bit).
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