the blog for single, over-40 women

Content or Complacent?

by Tammie Fickas on March 4, 2014

So, you know those crazy quizzes you can take on Facebook? The ones that tell you what Muppet you are or what 80s band you are? Well, I took one the other day called “How Single are You?” I thought it would be fun. I thought it would tell me I’m meant to be single and everything is perfect.

I thought wrong.

My category was Crazy Cat Lady Single, and I was okay with that since I can be a little crazy and I have a cat. Then I read the description:

You are a little too comfortable in your singleness. You need to put some pants on and get out there.

Not what I’ve been thinking about where I’m at as a single person. As I pondered this, a friend’s words echoed through my head. A while back, she said to me, “There’s a difference between contentment and complacency.”

I was a little offended, to be truthful. How dare she call me complacent?! I’m comfortable with who I am. I don’t need a man to define me. My life is good. If God doesn’t have marriage in my future, that’s quite all right!

However, I’ve been mulling over her words since I got this result. Now, just so you know, I don’t stake my future on these Facebook quizzes. They’re hardly scientific and, often, I think the outcome depends on one single answer.

Still, I can’t help but think it’s entirely possible I’m hiding behind my “contentment.” You know, using it as an excuse not to have to take chances. To not get my heart broken.

I’m usually pretty brave, but when it comes to relationships with men I tend to be overly cautious and extremely shy. If I’m honest with myself, I may be complacent and that may not be the best thing.

Leasey Brown has written about dating in her Thursday column here at Girls Night In. She admits she’s had to push herself to get out there and meet men through online dating. I read her articles and think: I need to be more like her. But then my fear holds me back.

Of course, I don’t call it fear. I call it trusting God to send the right man at the right time. I call it contentment. I call it all kinds of things so I don’t have to risk. The result is the same.

Maybe this quiz has some grains of truth. Maybe it is time for me to put some pants on and get out there.

So, let’s hear from you. Are you dating? Do you ever feel you’re too comfortable with the status quo to take a risk?