Reveling in the Now

Posts from July 2014

07/30/2014

There was a week this month in which weather in the 60s and 70s reigned supreme, it never topped the low 80s, and humidity remained scarce. There was much rejoicing in the land. Then July reared its ugly humid head all over again and I wept. But then! This week saw a return to that blissful humidity-free state. Blessed be.

Read and Reading:

Nish Weiseth is one of my dear friends and it was an absolute thrill to finally read her book Speak: How Your Story Can Change the World. The level of vulnerability and high quality storytelling made this one I couldn't put down. Nish has given us all a gift with Speak. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her message and what it's inspiring in me. It's out August 5 so pre-order your copy now!

Hard Choices is a fascinating account of Hillary Clinton's 4 years as the US Secretary of State. I previously understood the role of the Secretary in the big picture sense but this behind-the-scenes was particularly illuminating. I'm sure there's much she could not disclose due to the sensitive nature of the job but I appreciated learning what she was able to reveal, particularly the Middle East and Africa and how interconnected all countries are. Sure, there were missteps along the way but I was blown away by the many changing pieces the Secretary must deal with on a daily and even hourly basis. I didn't view this as a campaign book- she still hasn't decided whether she'll run yet- but as an inside glimpse into Clinton's work and life.

I am determined to try legitimate canning this summer. Preserving by the Pint was a timely arrival. I've already tried the pickled summer squash, which was insanely tasty.

The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. (Waldman) is one of those interesting novels you think long and hard about while reading and after. It may have resonated with me because I'm still single and have dealt with dudebros like Nate before and likely will again. But it also offered compelling commentary on feminism, relationships in general, and the people we wish we were vs. who we actually are.

We'll be discussing my all-time favorite novel A Prayer for Owen Meany (Irving) next month on The Red Couch. My introductory post will be up next week. Hope you'll join us!

Must-see TV: So You Think You Can Dance, The Real Housewives of New York, The Real Housewives of Orange County, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Project Runway, Drunk History

I finished season 3 of Scandal. (!!!!)

Have you watched Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee yet? I meant to watch it last season but never got around to it. Now that the new season has begun, I'm all in.

Movie

I actually went to the theater! If you loved Once, you'll love Begin Again, as it's brought to us by the same director. Who knew Keira Knightly could sing?! Mark Ruffalo is perfection as usual and I can't enough of the soundtrack. A great movie through and through. I didn't even mind Adam Levine.

Listening to NPR on a more regular basis. I catch part of All Things Considered on my drive home and it keeps me calmer, while also making me feel smarter. I wish I would have started this habit years ago!

Hanging out with Bethany Suckrow, who is now a Nashvillian! So fun having her here.

Hearing Phyllis Tickle speak at GracePointe. Highly recommended!

Antonia came to visit. So much fun talking about all the things and taking her to some of my favorite places

Snuggling my nephew-in-love every chance I get. Babies are the best.

My niece-in-love stopping by to see the new house. The only way she could like it more, she told me, is if we had a bunk bed. Duly noted for future sleepovers, A.

Catching up with my old pal Ryan and meeting his new wife Megan. Ryan and I have been friends since we were 15 years old. Crazy.

Watching The Enneagram Coach grow in its first month. It has been such an honor to help people figure out their type. I am totally high on life after each session. I can't wait to share the new site with you soon! (Newsletter subscribers have already seen it.)

On the Leigh Kramer FB page, you all seemed to agree that giving good book recommendations is a spiritual gift and I marveled over this month marking the 10 year anniversary of one of my bravest risks.

07/28/2014

Ever since the February Reading Challenge, I've continued to prime a stack of books. Mind you, what goes in the stack doesn't always get read, for various reasons. With so many friends who are authors, I always have a few of their books to add to the stack. Plus, there's the constant flow of library reserves and long-awaited book releases.

The To Read stack helps me prioritize what I want to read. Since moving to my new house, books have been scattered all over the house, with varying degrees of effectiveness. After my last trip to McKay Used Books and stops at Barnes & Noble and Parnassus, it was time to prioritize and give the stack a home in the office.

Right after requests for book recommendations, one of the questions I'm often asked is "What are you reading?" Here's what I'm reading next.

I first heard about Bachelor Girl during an exchange with Rachel on Twitter. I'm always on the hunt for savvy books on singleness and, based on past exchanges, I trust Rachel's judgment in this department.

There are two books titled Life After Life and both had been recommended to me in the past year. But I didn't decide to pick up a copy until a conversation with Miriam at Parnassus Books. When she heard about my hospice background, she immediately asked if I'd read this particular Life After Life. Her take on it has me ready to dig in.

I've had this book for years, probably ever since reading its predecessor French Women Don't Get Fat, which I loved. Which, now that I think about, I also read in the summer. There's something about summer that makes me want all things French in my life.

Book #3 of the All Souls trilogy is finally here!!! I've been anxiously awaiting its release and cannot wait to dive in. Pesky library books are all that stands between me and the conclusion to Matthew and Diana's tale.

07/23/2014

I'm thrilled to have Lacy Ellman guest posting today. I so relate to her thoughts on transformational seasons. She's generously giving away one of her prints. Details at the end of the post.

I have been a traveler for as long as I can remember. I’ve filled up my fair share of National Parks passports and US Passports alike over my nearly three decades on this planet, but the journeys that have impacted me the most will forever be the ones marked by seasons of transformation.

The first journey that truly left its mark was a spur-of-the-moment backpacking trip across Europe the summer after my freshman year in college. I had been to Europe a few times before and had always enjoyed myself, but for some reason my travels abroad hadn’t yet sparked a desire within me to galavant around the continent aimlessly, backpack in tow. The whole “backpack across Europe” concept was new to me, and though I had friends who had come home from their European adventures with an abundance of pictures and stories, I hadn’t yet found myself longing to walk in their shoes.

That is, until a good friend from high school was at my house one early summer night after our freshman year in college. He was heading off to Europe for the summer on a solitary adventure; I was making plans to return to Nashville to attend summer school so I could minor in interior design.

It’s what I wanted—the path I had always planned to follow. But something from our conversation about his upcoming journey that night lit a fire within me that I have not yet been able to extinguish. It didn’t take long for me to put my pursuit of an interior design minor behind me and beg to join him that summer for the trip of a lifetime. (After all, I’d watched enough HGTV at that point to earn a Master’s degree.)

Surprisingly, my parents said “yes,” and my friend and I headed to Paris with only a vague sense of what was next. We rode bikes across Paris, visited the French countryside with locals, and I fell in love with champagne. We spent an entire day in transit to Barcelona, nearly missing our train, and then roamed the city after midnight looking for a place to stay. We took an overnight boat to Rome and camped throughout Italy. We fought in Venice, went our separate ways, and I spent the first solitary days of my life in the Alps outside of Salzburg.

We reunited in Germany, and when we reached Berlin, it was time for me to return home. However, as I headed back to the US that summer, I sensed that things were different. Somewhere along the way, I had discovered a part of myself that I never knew existed. Somehow amidst all of the train rides, language barriers, and times spent wandering, a part of me emerged that I might not have ever encountered otherwise, and I felt like a truer version of myself because of it.

That’s often the case when we travel, especially in the spirit of a pilgrim. When we journey with the intention to discover new things about ourselves and our world, we not only cross physical borders—we cross borders within as well. And when we travel with intention, open to encountering what the journey might bring, we undoubtedly encounter God, the great and sacred Guide of our journeys, both at home and abroad.

Since that journey of awakening nearly ten years ago, I have traveled abroad multiple times, even living for a season in both London and Uganda. With each journey I have been stretched, challenged, and exposed. And in the same way (because one does not come without the other), I have grown, become more open and aware, and have learned more of my desires—for myself, for my life, and for God.

I never knew that summer that when I dropped my minor I’d stumbled upon a new vocation—a career devoted to journeying deeply and inviting others to do the same. But as the saying goes, “The way is made by walking,” and through the unexpected gifts of travel, I have discovered my own path and know I will continue to find my way, encountering things beyond my borders on a journey of continual awakening.

JOURNEY WITH LACY TO IRELAND!

Next March, Lacy is leading a young adult pilgrimage to Ireland with Christine and John Valters Paintner of Abbey of the Arts along the theme, “The Soul’s Slow Ripening: Celtic Wisdom for Discernment.” If you’re in your 20s or 30s, you’re invited to journey to Ireland and listen to the wisdom of the ancient Celtic monks for how to live a life of discernment and holy unfolding. Learn more about this pilgrimage here.

GIVEAWAY

Lacy just released a series of hand-lettered, illustrated prints in her print shop, infused with the spirit of pilgrimage. She’s giving away a downloadable version of her black and white “Life is a Sacred Journey” print to one lucky reader! View the rest of the prints in her premiere line here.

Giveaway is open to everyone and ends this Saturday July 26 at 9 am CST. Winner will be notified by email and have 48 hours to respond before a new winner will be selected.

07/10/2014

I was talking about wings, specifically my 5 wing, and how I've embraced my introversion since entering my 30s.

In that context, I said, "I've always been a big reader but now it's become a coping mechanism, and again, it can be a good thing or it can be a way of hiding. I'm trying to figure out where that switch really happens."

It can be a way of hiding.

People emailed me, they brought it up in conversation, Anne even wrote a post, which was the kick in the pants for me to finally write this post I've contemplated for the last year and a half.

I have always been an avid reader. From the moment I figured out how to read, I began trying to figure out how I could do more of that. I learned how to speed read in 3rd grade (it was a legit lesson). I co-captained Battle of the Books with my best friend in 5th and 6th grade and I believe our grammar school still holds the winning record.

I could go on and on about my book nerd qualifications but you get the picture.

In 2005, I started recording what I read. At the time, I averaged 4-8 books per month. Since then, I've seen a steady increase in how much I read overall. My current average is 10-12 books per month. The biggest reason why I read more is because I read multiple books at the same time. I also read more in January and February (cold = hibernate) and when I'm on vacation.

I realized, however, in 2007 I was turning toward books in an unhealthy way. That spring I experienced two major losses. It was the hardest time of my life, especially because I worked as a hospice social worker.

After work, I'd collapse on to the couch in my apartment with a book in hand and I'd read and read and read. My 2007 average was 6-8 books per month. I read 12 books the month after Grandma died, a number that would have been even higher had I not gone on a previously planned canoe trip in the UP.

But as the months passed, my reading habit didn't back down and by the time I read 19 books that October, I realized I was turning to books more than I should.

Because of my book log, the evidence stared me in the face. I hadn't completely disappeared from society (my friends wouldn't allow that) but it was a marked difference from my usual routine. Like I said, at first self-care via reading was healthy but it became a way of hiding, a way of buffering myself from the world.

Since then, I have noticed my tendency to hide behind books in times of grief and high stress.

I'm never going to give up reading, nor am I going to give it up as a form of self-care. But I do pay attention to how much I'm reading.

If the monthly tally seems on the high side, I ask myself what's behind the number. Am I hiding? Or did I stumble on to a number of must-reads?

Some books take longer to read due to content or sheer number of pages. For instance, I finished Hillary Clinton's Hard Choices last week, which comes in at 600 pages. It was a fascinating account of her time as the US Secretary of State but this was no fast read.

But sometimes I'd rather read about someone's life, instead of engage with my own. When I realize I am hiding, I have a simple choice: I can keep piling on the books or I can reconnect with my community. Sometimes both responses are right, at least for the moment, but I strive to err on the side of connection with others.

These days books and I are on good terms. Reading was a big part of the reason why I stayed sane while moving to a new house last month. But I'll continue to keep an eye on how much I read so a good thing remains a good thing.

07/03/2014

I don't remember the first time I heard Terri Schiavo's name but I can tell you when the case started to matter to me.

In the fall of 2003 I began my second year social work fieldwork placement at a hospice in Chicago. I didn't know much about end-of-life care, short of the knowledge my grandma had set up hospice several years prior while caring for my great-uncle who had brain cancer.

The first few weeks of orientation consisted of meetings, reviewing forms, and accompanying nurses, social workers, and chaplains on home visits.

Terms like "Living Will," "DNR (Do Not Rescuscitate)," and "Power of Attorney for Healthcare" became a part of my every day vernacular. I talked with patients about their last wishes, about whether their family knew (and agreed) with those wishes.

These conversations were often sacred. It is not easy to take stock of your health and decide whether your body has had enough, whether to stop treatment or accept the decline. What's true for one person may not be for another. Some people never stop fighting, holding out hope for a miracle which may never come, such as Schiavo's parents.

Around this time, Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube was removed but within a week, Governor Jeb Bush signed Terri’s Law and the feeding tube was reinserted. Florida was far from Chicago but the case ignited much discussion in our office.

While Schiavo fell into a vegetative state in 1990, her name did not garner national recognition until 2003. Schiavo did not have a Living Will at the time of her death and her parents were at odds with her husband over whether she would want to remain in a vegetative state. (Read an overview of the case here.)

When Schiavo collapsed in her apartment in 1990, she was 27 years old. There I was, a social work intern, 23 years old. Though my family had experienced loss over the years, I hadn’t thought much about my own mortality. Until now.

Whenever I visited a patient for the first time, I needed to review their last wishes and see documentation if they had any. This would never be the first question I asked. Not even close. I did my best to establish a rapport, to make sure they knew I saw and heard them.

The more conversations I had with patients and families, the more I started raising these issues with my own family. Did my parents have a Living Will? Would they abide by my wishes? In what ways did our faith inform our end-of-life decision making?

I decided to fill out my own advance directives. Schiavo’s plight scared me. There would be no guesswork for my family. Plus, it helped some patients to know I’d signed the same forms they had, no matter our differing circumstances. We will all die someday. Advance directives provide us a way to lay out our wishes, neither hastening the day nor ignoring it. We need to have these conversations with our loved ones, for their sake as much as ours.

November 9, 2003 I signed a Living Will with my parents as witnesses. If I could not come back from an injury, illness, or disease and live a quality life, I wanted my family to let me go. I wouldn’t want them to prolong the inevitable or to fight to keep me alive at all costs. This would not be an arbitrary decision. A medical team would certify whether my death was imminent and then it would be up to my parents to follow through.

In the fall of 2008, I filled out Five Wishes, a form I often used with my hospice patients. In it, I specified the kind of medical treatment I did or didn’t want, as well as how comfortable I wanted to be. Working in healthcare for so many years made me extra opinionated.

Lord willing, my parents (or future husband) will never have to refer to these documents. I have sat with my own loved ones, as well as hospice patients over the years, and when the person is no longer able to decide, there is immeasurable comfort for the family to say, “we know this is not what he/she would want.” There is such agony over guessing at someone’s final wishes when they are no longer able to tell you.

God has given us doctors and amazing advances in healthcare. But we are finite people and there will come a day when I take my last breath.

I rarely think about my advance directives but they’re there, just in case, and that gives me peace.

Disclosure

This blog contains sidebar advertising and some contextual affiliate links. If you click through an affiliate link and purchase an item I have featured, I may receive a commission on the sale. You would never pay more for for the product- the commission comes from the regular retail price. I only feature products I genuinely like or, let's face it, love. I'm all about hyperbole. If a post or giveaway is sponsored, it is noted in the actual post. I don't blog about everything I receive, but when I do my thoughts and opinions are always my own.