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Friday, November 03, 2006

Korean Men Will Drink Anything with Alcohol

Dear Korean,

Why do Korean men love scotch so much? Why not vodka or beer?

- Unsigned

Dear Anonymous Coward,

What you have to realize is that Korean men will drink piss and sewage water as long as there is alcohol in it. So that might be a clue as to why Koreans love scotch - because it's the only liquor they have.

Of course it's not true anymore, but back in the day (around 70s~80s), Korea had three kinds of liquor: scotch, soju, and beer. Soju is dirt cheap, and fucks you up fast (around 25% back in the day, now around 20~21% alcohol.) Beer is great, but it's expensive and doesn't get you drunk fast enough while making you feel full. So scotch is an alternative to soju really; you get fucked up quick, plus you feel like a big shot spending a lot of money. Vodka was not available in Korea because it would have had to come from Russia or other communist countries and, well, there are still many South Koreans who would love to torture you for information just for stepping a foot in Prague. (The Korean Father told the Korean before his European backpacking trip that the Korean should look out for communist kidnappers - true story.)

As an aside, this trajectory of loving scotch happened earlier in Japan as well. Johnny Walker made a fortunate by coming up with the new "labels" that are inordinately expensive without the attendant increase in quality. Johnny Blue is specifically tailored toward Asian consumers who really don't know any better - in the Korean's opinion, it is only marginally better than the Black. The Korean likes scotch, but prefers single malt. Lagavulin 16 years is the Korean's favorite.

(The picture came from a result of Google image search for: worst whiskey ever. Apparently it's a single malt produced from Goa, India. The link that talks about it is rather funny: http://www.celticmalts.com/journal-c4.htm)

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About TK

The Korean is a Korean American living in Washington D.C. / Northern Virginia. He lived in Seoul until he was 16, then moved to Los Angeles area. The Korean refers to himself in the third person because he thinks it sounds cool.