Cricket Virgin

July 28, 2009

After 10 years without a TV at all, and 9 months with a TV but without a connection, I have finally got back on the cable. The Tata Sky people spent a sweet 7 hours in my house, drilling holes, hanging cables and trying to persuade me to subscribe to the Super Cartoon Extravaganza Package.

I declined.

The only thing I wanted was a sports channel that would broadcast the Ashes with English commentaries – and by English I did not mean Hinglish.

An English friend, you see, had said he would visit me in Jaipur on the condition that he could watch the Ashes Test Series. Whatever that was. That it had to do with cricket was all I knew.

The Tata Sky guys were slightly dumbfounded as to why I would want such a thing – wasn’t Cartoon Extravaganza more likely to fit my needs?

“Listen. All I want is to watch the Ashes, in English. Ok? Can you make it happen ?”

“Ma’am, but of course! May I just be asking, who are you cheering for?”

“I don’t know, cheering for what?”

“Which team, Ma’am, in the Ashes?”

“Well….Hmmm. Dunno. Well, India I guess!”

The two guys looked at me with, rather offendinlgy, a mix of horror and pity. They looked at each other.

They handed me the Tata Sky brochure again, an imploring, tearful look in their eyes.

“Ma’am, are you sure you want to subscribe to the Cricket Deluxe Platinum Package? What about the Zee Studio Teen Movies Club?”

I refused, once again, and begged them to just finish the damn installation.