Conflict can move you to grow even more amenable today as it is likely that you have little desire to pit your needs against the needs of another. Yet your compassionate nature and gestures of kindness may not sway the minds and hearts of those on the other side of the negotiating table. If it is your intention to seek a compromise that both parties can agree to, you may need to learn more about your opponents. Try having a brief casual conversation with them during which no mention is made of the matter currently in contention. You may discover today that each of you wants to come to a harmonious conclusion more than anything else.

Having a simple conversation with those on the other side of the negotiating table can help you gain a more thorough understanding of both their needs and the motives influencing them. There is no need to bring up potentially charged topics—the point of engaging in a non-confrontational discourse is to get to know our adversaries and to provide them with an opportunity to get to know us. As we share our thoughts and feelings, we will discover that our individual objectives are likely not wholly incompatible. And because from hereon in we will regard one another as sympathetic human beings rather than opponents, each of us will be more apt to take the other into consideration when framing lists of stipulations. Reaching an agreement during negotiations will prove easiest today when you understand where the people with whom you are in conflict are coming from.

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