The Mom Stop: Video shows need for change

It is my hope, as the mother of a young boy, that I instill in my son a respect for all people, especially women.

When my husband and I found out last year that our youngest child was going to be a girl, that our son would be “surrounded by sisters,” I joked that it would make him more sensitive, that he would easily understand women and perhaps it would make my son a better husband one day.

But ultimately, it’s up to us as parents to raise our children right, to instill a respect for all people, regardless of age, race, gender or sexual orientation. It’s up to us to serve as role models for our future generations, to treat others as equals. It’s up to us to have the difficult conversations with our children about the awful rape culture that seems to be running rampant, and to teach them that “no” really does mean “no.”

Respect and empathy is vital, especially in today’s world.

I was reminded of this when the Washington Post posted a 2005 video on Oct. 7 of presidential candidate Donald Trump making lewd comments about women. In that widely-publicized video, Trump joked about trying to have an affair with a married woman and about being able to grope and kiss women because of his “star” status — actions that many consider sexual assault.

The impact from the video has been swift. Trump released a statement apologizing, stating that the comments were made 11 years ago, and that he has changed. He called the statements “locker room talk” and denied ever sexually assaulting women.

Some have questioned the sincerity of that apology. Since Oct. 7, around 40 Republican senators and congressmen have revoked their support for Trump, with nearly 30 of them calling on him to quit the race altogether. Trump’s running mate and vice presidential nominee, Mike Pence, said he was offended and could not defend Trump’s comments. Pence has since also said he believes in forgiveness.

But for many American women, myself included, Trump’s comments are a disgusting sign of something very broken in America.

Hours after Trump’s 2005 video was leaked, Kelly Oxford, an author and social media personality, tweeted about an incident she experienced where an older man on a bus grabbed her crotch and smiled. She asked other women to share their sexual assault stories via social media. Women around the world responded, tweeting their sexual assault stories for an average of 50 or more a minute for the first 14 hours.

One out of every six women has been raped or experienced an attempted rape in her lifetime, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, and nine out of 10 victims of rape or sexual assault are women. On average, there are 288,820 victims age 12 and older of rape and sexual assault in the U.S. each year, according to the National Sexual Assault Hotline, which averages out to about one every two minutes.

In the time it may have taken you to read this column, another person in the U.S. was likely raped or sexually assaulted. It’s a problem that must be stopped. Sexual violence in the U.S. has fallen by more than 50 percent since 1993, but it’s not enough.

For the women out there, the future generations, for our daughters and our sons, something has to change.

— Lydia Seabol Avant writes The Mom Stop for The Tuscaloosa News, in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Reach her at lydia.seabolavant@tuscaloosanews.com.

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