Sunday, June 23, 2019

A man invites a woman out on a date. He invites her to dinner at the hot new restaurant. We are assuming, for the sake of argument and to fulfill the terms of the scientific research, that such events still occur.

When she accepts his invitation, he thinks that she cares about him. To be fair, if he believes that he must dangle the possibility of a great meal, he must sense that his charm alone will not quite do the trick.

Anyway, he imagines that she is interested in him. And not just in the food. In many cases, this is true. In a significant number of cases, it is not. She has accepted the invitation because she likes the prospect of eating well for free. Serious researchers now call this: a foodie call.

When it comes to getting a date, there’s any number of ways people can present themselves and their interests. One of the newer phenomena is a “foodie call” where a person sets up a date with someone they are not romantically interested in, for the purpose of getting a free meal. New research finds that 23 - 33% of women in an online study say they’ve engaged in a “foodie call.”

Does this tell us what women really want? Does it offer an answer to Freud’s question: What do women want? Could it be that the answer is: free food? It takes a cold and cynical heart to believe such a thing, but still….

I can think of more than a few men who have been tricked by such women. And yet, before you start pitying them, keep this in mind: if you want to play the game, you should leave your naivete at the door.

It feels somewhat cynical to think such thoughts, but apparently, women are not all saints. In fact, some are conniving schemers, possessed of the “dark triad” of negative personality traits. Worse yet, the women of the dark triad tend to believe in more traditional gender roles. One assumes that they were more comfortable having men pick up the check.

The researchers observed:

Upon further analysis, the social and personality psychology researchers found that women who scored high on the “dark triad” of personality traits (i.e., psychopathy, Machiavellianism, narcissism), as well as expressed traditional gender role beliefs, were most likely to engage in a foodie call and find it acceptable.

Researcher Brian Collison elaborated:

Several dark traits have been linked to deceptive and exploitative behavior in romantic relationships, such as one-night stands, faking an orgasm, or sending unsolicited sexual pictures.

It is hard to believe that women deceive and exploit men, but perhaps it’s one of the few ways they have of defending themselves.

You may be shocked at the statistics, but if you are looking to restore your faith in women, move onto the next paragraph. There we learn that a majority of women do not approve of foodie calls. Whew:

23% of women in this first group revealed they’d engaged in a foodie call. Most did so occasionally or rarely. Although women who had engaged in a foodie call believed it was more acceptable, most women believed foodie calls were extremely to moderately unacceptable.

Lest we become too cynical, keep in mind that a man whose date has accepted a foodie call still has the opportunity to persuade her to see him in a more favorable light. She is offering him an opportunity. If he fails to capitalize it isn't her fault.

One must add that having dinner with someone who genuinely repulses you is probably going to do damage to your appetite, to say nothing of your digestion.