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Frequently asked questions

It seems like over the past two weeks, I’ve been having the same conversation over and over again (Which I’m totally fine with). The majority of people I run into seem to ask similar questions. After reading a book I was loaned from another mom of twins, Twinspiration and many articles on the internet, I’ve learned quite a bit about twins.

First, here is the difference between identical and fraternal twins.

Identical twins: occur when a single egg, fertilized by a single sperm, splits into two identical halves within the first week of fertilization. Two separate babies with identical DNA are formed. Identical twins are always the same sex and blood type.

Fraternal twins: occur when two separate eggs are fertilized by two separate sperm. Two separate babies with no more in common than siblings born at different times are formed. Fraternal twins can be the same sex and/or blood type.

The first question I often get, “You’re having fraternal twins right?”

Not necessarily. Yes, the babies are in their own separate sacs, and each have their own placenta, but that doesn’t mean they are fraternal twins. If they are identical, it means the egg split between day 1-3. But fraternal twins are more common.

“Do twins run in either of your families?”

Nope! But I learned twins actually run through the mother’s side. A common misconception about identical twins is that the trait for having them runs in families. Everything I read said there is no explanation to why the egg separates after being fertilized, it happens by chance. But fraternal twins do run in families, because the mother often produces two eggs during ovulation. This is something that can be passed from mother to daughter, so therefore it has nothing to do with the father's side.

“You’ll have an automatic C-section right?”

Dr. M and I didn’t really talk into depth about anything, because I was in shock. But he did mention if the bottom baby is head first, I can deliver without a c-section.

“How are you going to have 3 kids in one bedroom?”

Poor Ledger won’t know what hit him :) But many other moms say their twins slept best co-sleeping, or sleeping right next to each other in the same crib until they start rolling all over each other. We’ll have two cribs, one for Ledger, which will probably be converted to a toddler bed by then, and one for the twins. Our goal is to be graduated and have extra room by the time the twins need both cribs.

We are so so grateful for such kind and generous people who have reached out to us. Within two weeks, we have been offered many of the larger baby items we will need! A huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders and lets us focus on saving for a car. (Pat’s in school and working part-time, it will be tight!)

Crazy fact: In the first 90 days, parents with twins will use anywhere from 960-1440 diapers. That doesn’t include Ledger’s :)

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You are so wise to start thinking about how things will change when these babies come. Kudos to you for researching and reading and not leaving everything to "I'll think about that later." Since my son is adopted, we only had 24 hours to prepare. Actually, that isn't true. We waited 3 1/2 years for him so we had the basics, like a crib and bassinet and a few clothes. But really, we scrambled like crazy to get diapers, bottles, diaper bag, binkies, clothes, etc., the night before we picked him up. Somehow it all works out and it will work out with your cute family too. You will find a way to make ends meet and your love will expand in a way you never thought possible. I am very excited for you and pray things go perfectly throughout your pregnancy and delivery. I'm not the only one who can't wait to see what you are having and all the news about your babies. What an adventure for you and your family. Little Ledger will be a little confused at first but then he'll be excited to see his new siblings!!

I know this sounds crazy, but it is information that most people don't know so I'm just passing it along as an idea... and I know you'll be way busy but I've known people in just your position who still manage to use cloth diapers.

On average they can save you $4000 a year per kid on diapers.

They are not your great grandma's cloth diapers, there are lots of types and options, so you'll need to do some research but they are better for baby, the environment, and the wallet haha

Check out nickisdiapers.com, kellyscloset.com, and some youtube moms like naturallythriftymom (she has a great series of videos that completely explain all types of cloth diapers and the financial break down)

I purchased all the cloth diapering supplies anyone ever needs (with discount codes and whatnot) for under $300 and that's all I'll ever have to spend (other than electricity and water which is about $8 a month)... now, that is for one baby... I suggest finding a youtube mom who has twins and cloth diapers and maybe sending her a message if you are serious about it.

But even if you just cloth diaper half time it will still save you a bunch of money... when I found out about cloth diapering and literally watched hours of youtube videos from moms and it is really informative!

If you decide to cloth diaper, email me on FB and I can add you to a co op, I use cloth and I spent between $2-4 per diaper. I know it seems like a lot, but for about the cost of 2 months of diapers I am covered until baby is out of diapers. My laundry didn't really get harder, just an extra load every 3rd day. I just use the hose extension for my shower head to rinse my poopy diapers in to a mop bucket, no sticking my hands in the toilet.

I only cloth diaper part time right now, during the day. Still in sposies at night, but I really love using them. I know it seems crazy to think of adding more laundry when you are also adding 2 kids so maybe it is something to consider a few months in when you feel more awake and have a routine. :) Congrats again, you two are gonna do great.

Oh boy - GOOD LUCK. That sounds crazy, but so much fun at the same time. You should really look into cloth diapering.. especially when you are having to buy that many diapers! We have loved it, and I actually got started using them after following a twin mom blog:

I have boy/girl twins and, believe it or not, the most common question I still get asked, is "Are they Identical?" :) I know you have (and will continue) to get tons of advice. But here is my advice anyway - pray, lots! and let others help you. I have loved every second of my adventure with twins and I know you will too!

Ashley- I am a single mom of four boys, who were born every August! Four boys in four years!!! All four of them were in diapers at one time. Two of them were on feeding tubes due to health problems. I had a shelf for each size of diaper. Three of the four boys have had 23 surgeries. You got this!!!! You can totally do this!!!!! Now that they are a little bit older (9, 10, 11, 12) I am grateful that they are close in age. And honestly, I don't remember a ton from when they were little. I think Heavenly Father helped me block that out!!! :)

Hi Ashley as a mother of twins. We didn't realize until we had them that they actually ran in our families. We had identical twins girls born at 7 months. Girls do better then boys being born early, they are now 32 years old and doing well. Ledger will love being a big brother and lots of help, getting diapers, letting you know babies are awake and playing with them when they are older. My twins shared a crib up until they were 6 months old, however when they went to a bed, many times I'd find them sleeping together. Not uncommom. Good luck, and enlist the help of the sisters in your ward.

Seriously! The moment we found out we were having twins, we had to start explain some of these things. And it never stops! Haha! My girls are fraternal, but people always swear to me that they're identical. I've gotten to the point where if the random lady at the grocery store wants to call them identical, then great. They're identical.

One time (sorry, this comment is going to be pretty long) we were at Costco when my girls were about 7 months old. They were both dressed in identical outfits and for the zillionth time, we got the "are they twins?!" question. My husband (who is incredibly shy) immediately said, "No. This one is my wife's and this one is my girlfriends." I about DIED!

It seems like when you have a unique circumstance, all of the attention is on you. Not sure if that's good or bad, but it does get tiring having the same conversation again and again.

As a twin myself, I am ecstatic for you! What an adventure you will have! Don't sweat the small stuff. I know you hear that, but it is so true. My sister an I are fraternal twins, looking very alike, but much like our other sisters. I was often mistaken for the older sister and she the twin. You will hear the most outlandish things come out of peoples mouths, but please know they are uneducated about twins and do not know any better. My twin and I have a bond, I am sure you have heard about it. It is strong! As a child she could not stand to be separated from me! When we were married and had children of our own, she was in a car accident(minor) not far from my home early one morning, and when I heard the sirens, I knew it was her and waited for her phone call. When the phone rang and she said she had been in an accident, I told her I knew she was and to please tell me where she was. She was fairly agitated when I arrived and the firemen were so kind to let me in the front seat next to her. She calmed right down. You will be amazed at the miracles you will witness! Congratulations and take lots of deep breaths!!! I will be cheering you on!

Hi! Congrats on your twins! I am a mommy of twins and love it! So fun! I have a 5 year old daughter and my boys are 3. (They were born 4 days before she turned 2.) I just wanted you to know that I had a vaginal delivery with my twins. They were both head down so I could do it. I did have them in an operating room just in case Jake flipped once Robbie came out. And I did have a lot of people in the room...3 nurses for each baby. Plus others! But I did it vaginally and it was awesome! They are 11 minutes apart. :) My water broke in my sleep at 36 weeks 1 day. I totally thought I'd go longer. But they were ready. They were awesome and healthy and didn't need NICU time. They came home with me. I know it's shocking at first to find out you're having twins. But you can do it! People always say to me "I don't know how you do it with twins." Well, you just do! You have no choice so you figure it out. Good luck to you and I look forward to following your journey!~Rae

My twins were born natural with only 3 pushes each and a 3 hour labor.

My son was 2 when they were born so I had 3 in diapers for over a year and changed about 25 every day. I thought it would be overwhelming and there are definitely moments of insanity every day but mostly it's just awesome. And it's so cool for my twins as they grow up and always have their best friend with them.

It's definitely a unique experience that few people get to do. I know that you will love it.

Congrats!!! So exciting. Have you looked into Amazon for diapers and I have found it cheaper than anywhere else especially with Subscribe and save. And the beauty is they show up at your door!!! That might be a lifesaver with 3 little ones.

thank you for sharing all of this! i am so excited for you. i always wanted twins and find them fascinating. i have 4 amazing children but all seperate pregnancies. i keep going back and rereading your post about finding out and telling pat. so cute!! you deserve much happiness!

I love reading your blog, and was so delighted to see that you are expecting twins! So fun. I also want to suggest cloth diapers. I absolutely LOVE using them and they save so much money. I got everything I needed for about $275. I did tons of research and found alvababy.com had cute diapers for a good price. You can also buy off this group http://www.facebook.com/groups/321835251223757/?fref=ts.

My sister had her twin girls when her first son was only 15 months old. She went full term and delivered them naturally with one weighing in at 5 lbs 11 oz and the other one at 6 lbs 4 oz. They were delivered in a birthing center and went home the very next day as healthy as can be. They too were in separate sacs with separate placentas and they look identical but at the time they told her the only way to find out was to do some testing which she chose not to do. So anyway just thought I would share another wonderful twin story. Good luck to you and just remember to enjoy the journey and don't forget to ask for help when you are feeling overwhelmed.

I has three kids in three years. I sometimes think twins would have been easier! LOL. We did IVF after 9 years of marriage to get our first. We put back two babies and prayed for twins but were so thankful we at least got to keep one. The others came naturally, and quickly. The are 19 and 17 months apart. We barely overlapped double diapers. All three were fully trained before their second birthdays, with very little work on our part. The middle one saw his brother pee before bath time and started joining him at 15 months. No kidding! I say it is worth checking out.

We also have 10 month old MoDi twins. My husband was away the first 6 weeks after they were born, and I also had a 3 year old to care for too (no afternoon naps for this lady!:). I always tried to keep my focus, and remember that some people have it worse! I have a friend who delivered triplets (naturally concieved) when her oldest was 18 months old! You have plenty of support, and the challenges that you'll face once they come will strengthen you in ways you didn't know where possible. Heavenly Father knows your capabilities, even if you don't.Also, Cloth diapering is a HUGE blessing. Especially if you can get people to cover most of the cost (baby shower gifts). With 3 little ones it feels almost impossible to just get out for a breath of fresh air, let alone a diaper run. They don't make them like they used to (they practically go on just like disposables)....and though they're a little more work, you're already going to be doing a ton of laundry with twins anyway, so it really doesn't add a ton to the load. I'm a member of a co op where I can get them CHEAP. There are many facebook co ops....and we LOVE ALVA diapers too. Find a support group in your area, cause twin mammas can offer tips and advice that no other mom can. Welcome to a special group!!

I wonder why people always ask ? What difference does it make to them - identical, fraternal ? My 2 daughters are 2 years apart, but were about the same size when they were 5 and 7, and they did look very much alike, people kept asking me, are they twins ? Then I had to explain that no, they were not, and justify that one was tall for her age and the other one small, and so on... What an exciting adventure it's going to be for you. Tiring maybe,but great altogether.Can't help much from a distance, but keep thinking of you and rejoicing.V. (Paris, France)

It will never cease to amaze me what people ask. Welcome to the rest of your life :) My parents have adopted from China 3 times and are going back a fourth time (to get two little girls). The first time they went I was 17 and I was asked ALL THE TIME if she was mine. Um, she is full-Chinese -- really?? Then they went and got a boy (my sister is very very fair skinned like Mulan and he is darker, he was born closer to Nepal/Tibet. They look completely different and are 16 months apart) and people always wanted to know if they were twins. One time I said, "Yep and I gave birth to them" - the look on the person's face was priceless like they were not sure if they should believe me but I enjoyed it.

I too had 3 in diapers.....not super fun but manageable. I don't know if u need or are looking. But i bought matching car seats and stroller that could go for both boy or girl...and not used very much...if ur intereates just let me know. Good luck it is so much fun......the most common question i get asked when i go out anywhere is are they twins? Reminding u i dress them the exact same everyday.

Having twins is AMAZING! My sweet little ladies are almost 11 months old. I have to say it has far exceeded my expectations! Having twins is so so so so awesome! My big girls were almost 6 and 3 1/2 when they were born, we instantly doubled our crew. I carried them to 38 weeks(never went on bed rest) and they were both born vaginally. They were 6lb 4oz and 6lb 11oz healthy as can be and came home with us they next day. I also had 2 sacs and placentas, they did some testing on the placenta to see if they were identical or not and it was inconclusive. I think everyone else was far more concerned about that than we were.:) They do love to sleep together although now whoever wakes up wants to go rub her sisters head to wake her up so we have just recently separated them. you do go through a ton of diapers and we ended up formula feeding so that was another huge expense...(I would totally recommend a breast pump).Here is what I know, its easier than you think...you do everything you would with one baby... just twice. I never did a strict schedule and we have not just survived but thrived. (Not saying you shouldn't have a schedule if that's what works for you) I just think its nice to know there is more than one way to do things! :)My heartfelt congratulations to you. It will be one of the most amazing experiences of your life! Take care :)

If you are thinking about cloth diapers and want to look at some, I would be more than happy to help you. I have used them on all my kids and have been selling them for several years. The nice thing is I am right around the corner. There are a ton of options and it is nice to see them in person. No pressure. :) My website is DesignerClothDiapers.com.

Hey Ash,I have been watching your blog for quite some time, (my neice was in your class when you student teached) And have just been in awe of you ever since. I had twins (which were also a surprise) 2 years ago and would like to share even though you probably already know and could ask others who know you. 1- invest in a maternity pillow, it will help with the weight at night of the belly2- My girls slept in the same crib till they were around 8 months which was a life saver3- Buy diapers starting now in size newborn and 1's you can always exchange sizes later on. I went to the store I bought a case of diapers.4- If they are the same sex get color coded bottles of different kinds one for each to monitor their feedings at first5- Peppermint altoids and gramham crackers help with the sickness and dry mouth.6- You will get tired your first trimester the middle of your second and from 32 weeks on (well I did anyways)7- I used only one of each thing i.e. swing bouncers, because they like to be snuggles with one another I found no use for two of them and quickly sold most of my doubles. I do not want to seem like a know it all because I am not I just though I might be able to help a little!Oh an you will here all the time are they identical oh are they twins, no matter what!! Mine are not identical and I get asked this daily, "Well one has curly hair and the other is straight are they twins?!" Good luck and my prayers are with you as you guys go through this next chapter in your lives!

Oh a P.S. The first month is hard after they are born just because you are adjusting after that everything is great until they turn mobile and then you will be wishing for your babies back, because who ever said it will get easier didn't have twins!!

Oh and Dr. M is amazing he delieverd my twins and I did not have to have a C-section which I would push for as much as possible if it is the safe route for your delievery! It made all the difference in the world!

Good luck, I'm sure you'll cope. I think that's what all parents do. I didn't have twins but I had my last two 23 months apart, wasn't planned. Thank goodness the 23 month old decided she wanted to be potty trained so I only had 1 in diapers. Plus, by the time the baby came she was in a twin size bed, I take them out of a crib at 18 months. So here is to hoping little L will want to be potty trained and in a big bed by the time the twins arrive. Can't wait to see what you're having!! If you do end up having both of the same sex, can they tell if they're identical or not before they are born?? Just curious.

I am not one that ever comments but I have kept up with your blog for a while now. Your cousin and I are good friends. I have two sets of twins and twins are hard. Both sets slept in the same bed until they started moving and then we moved them for safety. Something I learned very quickly with twins was to not get too up tight (so hard but so worth my sanity). I also never let it slow me down. If I had to go to the store, then I went to the store. If i wanted to go out, I went out. It took a lot of preparation but I knew if I slowed down I would never go out again! Good luck and I am excited for you.P.S. Twins really a lot of work but they are also that much more fun!Ashley

Congrats on the new coming babies! While I don't have twins, I do have three kids, and they all sleep in the same room. My hubby is in school too, and we'll be there for a while yet-law school. But while it has it's set backs, my kids do amazing in one room. The two older take a nap everyday at the same time. It just takes practice. Also my oldest we moved to a toddler bed before his siter arrived (he was 2) and left the crib up and told him if he didn't stay on his bed he'd have to move back to the baby bed, it worked like a charm and he never got off his bed at naps or at night, not once! Good luck to you!

We didn't know if our boys were fraternal or identical till they were born. Same situation, di-di twins. So I picked two colors, (blue and green), and each baby was assigned a color before they were even born. Even though they came out obviously fraternal (brown hair and blonde hair!), I still stuck with the colors since I already bought or made everything in those colors. If they had've been identical it would have been nice to be able to tell them apart easily. Get TONS of nb and size 1 diapers. Have someone you know that works at Madison buy them for you at the hospital. They are a few % above wholesale price, and you will save TONS! I used 1500 diapers in the first 3 months..Usually 18-20 diapers a day. My boys slept in the same crib till 6.5 months. I had to separate them because they started stealing each others pacifiers, pulling hair, waking each other up..etc. Good luck!!!

I have twins. Welcome to the club. It's really fun. I was able to deliver mine vaginally and it wasn't bad at all plus the recovery is ten times easier. And my husband was finishing up dental school at the time and my twins were our third and fourth child and we lived in a small two bedroom apartment. It wasn't ideal, but it worked. Just prepare now. Chances of bed rest are high so use the first 25 weeks to freeze dinners, get rooms ready, clothes washed. Make lists for friends or family so they know how your life runs so they can step in with a moments notice. Buy a belly support because it will be a lifesaver when you get really big. Honestly being pregnant with twins was harder then having them(in my opinion) You'll love it.

ps- mine are g/b but people still ask me hundreds of questions when they see that I have twins especially "are they identical?" Twins=lots of questions from strangers :)

Hi, we're the Sullengers! Life turned upside down for us in 2010 when we lost our daughter in an accidental drowning. Since then, we've documented our highs (life with all five of our kids) and our lows (struggles with grief) but amongst everthing we've experienced, we know as long as we hold on to one another we can get through anything that comes our way. Read More. . .