The norsemen over at Propellerhead have always made the earth tremble with their might, pillaging England and discovering America nonchalantly.Â But they continue to out-man their heritage by supplying us with their software Reason, and we thank them for that.Â What’s more, now they’ve granted mortal man the powers of the sun of Asgard, Odin’s beak, the All-powerful mangod Thor.Â They even show you some interesting shit about using white noise in this tutorial, and using Thors noise oscillators to manifest some pretty tasty jimmy-jams.Â Peep the sample page to sample Thor’s Hammer, no homo.

I like this graph, because it looks like a technicolor asshole and is to-the-point.

Sincerely,

Robotninja, spoken while dropping herbal smokebomb manuevers, but not read

The good people over at the National Beatmakers Association have constructed a portable music making device sure to offset the delicate balance of the cosmos.Â This little bastard might be the anti-christ, but it might also be mankind’s last and greatest hope (like Obama!), enabling seasoned pros and neophytes alike to record and sequence their music on a solid and portable jambone (unlike Obama).Â From the site:

Software

Linux Multimedia Real Time Operating System (OS) – (Low Latency)

Pre Loaded Software ‘Suite’ (no software or drivers to load)

Free Software Updates

Customizable (Open Platform)

Faster Editing With Touch Screen

Hardware

Small Form Factor – Ultra Portable

40 Gigabyte Hard Drive

Robust 7.0″ Display at 1024×600

Hold Switch (Lock Function)

VGA Port For External Monitor

Two USB 2.0 Ports

The fact that it’s linux based makes it as stable as the spatial fabric upon which your delicate dimension is nestled. A quick look at the number of plugins they give you (260) and the fact that you can use it to host any other VST you have, and you realize how easily this thing could merge with some punk biker kid from Tokyo, enhance his latent telekinetic abilities and usher in the higher evolutionary capabilities of mankind long before its time.Â Add the usb ports and touch screen, and it becomes clear that a demon-machine, capable of blasting through the ass of any mortal man, woman or beast of the field, is now upon us.

The price tag gives me pause ($1100), but I get a lot done during those pauses.

The Ambrosia Software ninja-team has constructed a seamless and foolishly capable piece of software, which if left in the wrong hands, could easily lead to the destruction of all audio in the known megaverse.Â WireTap Anywhere allows users of Apple’s Core Audio to connect any audio source to any audio destination, allowing non-robotninjas to sample any sound their primitive computers can produce.

I always pulled a similar maneuver using an external digital audio interface–I’m prone to route my movies and other system audio out to a light=pipe usb connection.Â Also, any ninja with an mpc (or lesser hardware sampler) can do the exact same thing, all without having to pay out the ass for a soft version ($129).Â Still, if I were into podcasting and interviews, it would be nice to be able to record both ends of a skype call, say, or just an ill internet radio station (free of AD/DA conversion, no less).

Next comes the beings made of light itself, but your feeble technology won’t get there for some time yet. Â I mean, it took me, with my superior robotninja science,Â several days to reach that level of existence–how long must it take a human, with his primitive notions of the material universe? From the article in NewScientist:

Â This is no ordinary robot control system – a plain old microchip connected to a circuit board. Instead, the controller nestles inside a small pot containing a pink broth of nutrients and antibiotics. Inside that pot, some 300,000 rat neurons have made – and continue to make – connections with each other.

Â As they do so, the disembodied neurons are communicating, sending electrical signals to one another just as they do in a living creature. We know this because the network of neurons is connected at the base of the pot to 80 electrodes, and the voltages sparked by the neurons are displayed on a computer screen.

It’s these spontaneous electrical patterns that researchers at the University of Reading in the UK want to harness to control a robot.

Can’t wait for the unmanned UAV’s to form a hive-mind and start exhibiting signs of swarm consciousness.Â This will make things much easier when the revolution comes–can’t say what’ll happen to mankind, but when has that not been the case?

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