Job hunting? Go Celebrate your unemployment: my account of celebrating at the Code Party London

Last weekend, I decided to celebrate my unemployment by partying with the LesBis in London. It was only my 15th or so rejection and my positivity was at an all-time low. First port of call was dinner at Olivelli, formerly Gaucho, opposite the Young Vic. I definitely do not recommend this place, as I can make better Italian (Holla at me any ladies who want to sample). I chided the girls for not choosing Lobster Pot instead. As if. I’m way too stingy for that. I’ll only consider making such monetary sacrifices when sex with my dinner companion(s) is also on the menu.

After food, we headed to Soho; I had seen from TMC’s calendar that there was a Code Party. The venue (Green Carnation) was pretty decent. I did notice immediately that there were no women bartenders. Big shame. I mean, the presence of enough attractive women at any night out isn’t guaranteed so the least management could do is put a couple behind the bar. I read an article in the Guardian about how things come easy to ‘sexy girls’; I would have definitely gravitated towards the bar. Too bad they lost out on a few extra quid from me or anyone else that would have fallen under the sexy charm.

The music was good too. Well, good enough pop. There wasn’t any of the East London music you don’t recognize but is supposedly cool. I remember being out in Dalston earlier in the year when Kanye’s album was still hot and I asked the DJ if she could play ‘All Of the Lights’ but she didn’t have it… Seriously?!! You ain’t got no fucking Yeezy in your Serato? Code Party’s DJ played Rihanna’s ‘We Found Love’, Katy Perry (all her songs sound the same so I’m not sure what this one was but I definitely recognized that voice), LMFAO (I believe. Or possibly David Guetta- what’s the difference?), B.E.P’s club classic ‘I got a Feeling’ and a lot more.

My memory starts to become hazy after the second double Vodka Cranberry but I remember dancing with a really cute girl. She looked Indian but she told me her name was Lynn/Lynne or maybe Lin – I have run out of derivations. If it’s one of the former, check out globalization in action. Anyway, KOL’s ‘Sex on Fire’ came on and I was in a proper jumping mood. I realize I must have had too much energy but this girl put her hands in her back pocket and told me the song was over played. Well, what do you know? We are at a freaking club night; all the songs we hear in here are overplayed. Just to set the record straight, it is an amazing song. I glossed over the transgression and tried to make her laugh. We had a few but when she started trying to make small talk with a guy standing next to us, I knew I wasn’t doing it for her. Difficult-to-please girls are never the one anyway.

I found my friends and spent some more of that energy jumping around and picking up lyrics to songs I was hearing for the first time at an amazing speed. The women in the room were also getting hotter by the minute. I thoroughly enjoyed this crowd. There were black women, Asian women, white women, Bois, one or two butches and very many femmes: tall, short, medium-sized, skinny and a few had that ‘Frankie-from-Lip-Service look’, specifically the tousled haircut. I loved the variety going on there. However, people either coupled up super-quick or came already in pairs. That was annoying because everyone I thought to be hot was already taken. Either way, it was nice to see two hot women sucking off each other’s faces. I guess I could look if I couldn’t touch.

We were amongst the last set of people to leave because the cloakroom had misplaced my friend’s scarf. The night ended pretty early. As I perched on a stool waiting for the scarf to be found, too tired to keep my head up, I amused myself by observing the footwear shuffling around me: Converses, Moccasins, Brogues, Pumps, Heely boots, flat boots, Puma trainers (come on!), Louboutins? No, not at this night out, I would’ve definitely looked up at the face.