Is love making you fat?

Love is an exhilarating feeling, but all that bliss can weigh you down in the most literal sense. We tell you how

Shraddha Pandey was a wiry 23-year-old brand consultant who never had to bother about her weight. Her friends envied her washboard abs, which were honed by the nightly runs she never missed and squash thrice a week. Pandey’s luck with her weight, however, ran out when Pranav came into her life. They fell in love, moved in together, and begun planning their wedding. Among all the excitement in her life, Pandey discovered that she had put on eight kilos in five months. It came as a huge shock as she never knew what it felt like to be on the wrong side of the weighing scale. Pandey, however, is not alone. There are many others who have perceived a weight gain after getting into happy and steady relationships. A 2013 research commissioned by Diet Chef, a UK-based website, revealed that around 66 per cent of couples thought they had put on weight together. The fact was further corroborated by a 2013 study, 'Marital Satisfaction Predicts Weight Gain in Early Marriage', which was published by The American Psychological Association. Couples who experienced happy, healthy partnerships, did notice an increase in weight.What’s odd is that the weight gain is not due to depression or stress. This is the happy kind of weight that doesn’t catch your attention until a few months. Dr Bhavna Barmi, senior consultant psychologist, Fortis Escorts Heart Institute, New Delhi, says, “Any emotion is contrary to our cognition. And love is such a powerful emotion that our rationale comes down. Unintentionally, we fuel our own weight gain.” Here are a few reasons why love makes you plumper, with ways to reverse the process.

Sweet loveBeing in a relationship changes a person, and one of the immediate changes that takes place is emotional eating. Dr Barmi says, “It’s a reaction mechanism. Emotional eating is correlated with two things—excessive happiness or sadness. Food helps us cope with the situation on hand.” In your happiness, you do not notice or keep track of what you are eating. Also known as unconscious eating, this leads to weight gain over time. Be mindful of when and what you are eating. Eat slowly and focus on your meal. It also helps to keep low-cal healthy food within reach to minimise the impact of any binges.

Comfort zoneOnce you feel loved, you stop trying to feel accepted. “An acceptable comfort zone sets in, wherein your self-esteem is compensated with affection and love,” says Dr Barmi. The body image that you were conscious of protecting now ceases to be important. Also, relationships have a sort of forward momentum, especially in the early stages, and this distracts from focusing purely on the physical. Make a conscious effort to incorporate exercise, better eating habits, and self-care into your daily routine. Remind yourself that you are doing this for yourself and not to gain acceptance. Make a commitment to yourself to be fit.

Party heartyYamini Roy, a 27-year-old marketing executive, found that while most girls lost weight before the wedding, she had gained a few kilos. By tracing the sequence of events that led up to her engagement, she identified the reason. “Each time we met, it would be over lunch or dinner. Since we had common friends, they hosted dinners to celebrate our engagement. Then there were those meals to get to know each other’s families, and each time, it was calorie-laden, rich food. No wonder, my jeans stopped fitting me,” she recalls. “In our society, food is at the centre of every celebration. People tend to show their hospitality by feeding guests. “And if you do not eat, you might offend the host,” points out Dr Barmi. The way around this is to think out of the box. Rather than dating at the usual restaurants and pubs, try enrolling for a salsa class, or sign up for a walking or cycling tour. Rediscovering the city that you both live in will make for great memories. And when you are invited to dinner, instead of fried food, try and fill up on healthier dishes, like steamed starters or vegetables, and practice portion control.

Shadow showYour partner is capable of influencing you in various ways, and food is just one of them. “A situation where either of the partners becomes a role model is defined as the ‘shadowing effect’”, says Dr Barmi. A 2007 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that your chances of becoming obese increase by 37 per cent if your spouse is also obese. Usually, the person with unhealthy habits becomes the role model, as it’s difficult to stick to good habits for long in the face of temptation. You can halt this slippery slide by having an honest conversation with your partner. Kavita Devgan, nutritionist and author of Don’t Diet! 50 Habits of Thin People, says, “Maintain a food journal, where you write all that you have eaten throughout the day and then exchange notes. Try to eat at home often, do not stock up on desserts, and when ordering in, opt for healthier salads over pizzas. And most importantly, eat on time, even if it means you have to set reminders on your phone.”