Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

2011 was a bad year all around. While the future of Egypt and Wisconsin were in balance, we were more concerned with Charlie Sheen and his goddesses. (I am guilty of the latter). I took a look on how Washington and the federal agencies will affect us in 2011. With the exception of us still having Saturday mail, I nailed it.

A nightmare in my personal life. My bathroom all but exploded due to a leak from my upstairs neighbor’s bathroom. Both of my parents got hurt shoveling during a snowstorm and I had to take care of them for what seemed to be a month (but was only for three days.) My warnings of the Cinemafia started to show that on some things, I know what I am talking about.

March:

The “birthers” compelled me to show my birth certificate. I finally was mentioned on TV via one of my tweets. I also mentioned my “Getting America Back to Work” plan. But March was not too rosy for the campaign. I had forgotten to mention that the infamous “Walk-a-Thon for Affordable Entertainment Awareness” was canceled in October. I thought the almost daily blog entries since would have helped people figure that out, but it didn’t.

Things are happening all the time. I will take some time and explain some of the things going on in the world:

Middle East: There have been protests and uprisings in Egypt, Libya, Tunisia, and Yemen. Contrary to some reports, these protests are not the result of protesters wanting me to be their president. (Although eleven people from Egypt have visited my site, the most recent visitor was January 27.)

Wisconsin: Both Scott Walker and the unions are missing the point here. The bottom line is that the children of Wisconsin are not learning the skills they will need as adults. Any money spent on education is wasted if children aren’t learning.

Charlie Sheen: I am proud to have hopped upon the #teamsheen bandwagon. My campaign needs an infusion of tiger blood. An endorsement from someone who preaches winning would be awesome. I just hope that Charlie Sheen doesn’t run for President.

Gay Marriage: It is ironic that many of the people who oppose that peopke oppose gay marriage on religious grounds when one considers that because homosexuals can not legally marry eacher, they are compelled to live in sin by shacking up.

Gas Prices: Gas prices have risen over 30 cents in the past two weeks mostly due to speculation. If we all speculate that things will be fine, it will lower gas prices.

I will try to make this a weekly type of posting so that people will have a fresh insight into how I see things. Feel free to share this post on Facebook and Twitter so others can be educated in current events.

The news has been dominated by rallies in Wisconsin and Libya in recent days. (But since Libya is not part of the United States yet, I will not discuss Libya today.) The battle seems to be between the Wisconsin Teachers’ Union right to collective bargaining and the state’s right to save taxpayers money. The thing missing in the equation is the children.

While the discussion seems to be about money, nobody seems to be paying attention to the children’s education. This is why I flew to Wisconsin (That and seeing an opportunity to campaign to thousands of people at a time without having to set up a rally.) While campaigning, I handed out pamphlets of my education platform. The sad part is that neither the union supporters nor the state supporters seemed interested in my platform or in improving education for the children.

It is a shame that neither side could see that my plan is a win for both sides. The unions would win because it would cost less to educate the children under my plan, thus leaving more money for the teachers. The state supporters would win because we would no longer be funding things like bassoon players and shot-putters because neither has a market in the business world.

Americans have become too wrapped up in themselves to see that their actions affect others. I have the insight and the vision to look out for everybody. (Even for those people who are not hotties.)

Senatorial candidates Al Franken and Norm Coleman have been in the courts fighting over who should represent Minnesota in the Senate. Minnesota will have one less representative to represent them until this is settled. I suggest that Governor Tim Pawlenty choose Ahmnodt Heare to represent the fine state of Minnesota until this dilemma is resolved.

It’s not like I have never been to Minnesota. I am often in Minneapolis- St. Paul International Airport on a layover between flights. I have watched former Governor Jesse Ventura wrestle on several occasions. I feel a genuine connection with Minnesotites.

I will fight for Minnesota the moment I fight in Washington. I will fortify the border with Canada and with Wisconsin. I would encourage global warming in the winter. I will bring affordable entertainment to Minnesota.

Governor Pawlenty, please consider the lack of representation your fine state currently has and choose me to represent Minnesota. I thank you and I would be honored.

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As mentioned in the radio ad, I promised Tim that I would look into the oil spill in Lake Michigan that caused considerable damage to the humpback dolphin population. I will also travel to Wisconsin to check on the children poisoned by contaminated humpback dolphin meat served in school cafeterias. I am heading there today by car and will be in Michigan tomorrow afternoon and Wisconsin on Friday.

I will take the oil Tim has cleaned up since my last visit as well as any uncontaminated Humpback Dolphin meat to Washington. I will discuss the matter at an impromptu meetings with congresspeople who like Humpback Dolphin meat. It is a delicacy in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Mongolia.

Next week, I will travel to Arizona and look into the situation concerning the crying hyenas.

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About

Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.

In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.

The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)

If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.