Hipsters: nobody knows what they are; nobody will ever self-identify as one, but still, everybody knows that they hate them.

Well, I don’t, and if you’re a big fan of independent music, then neither should you.

Like any much-ostracized subculture, hipsters have found themselves the victims of an online target hate loop unique in its vitriol, unparalleled in its universality, and unprecedented in its weirdness. What’s to attack when you don’t know what you’re attacking? (Fig. 1)

Note how the class of hipsters and the class of non-hipsters both hate hipsters. This is just a way of saying that everyone in the world hates hipsters, or at least claims to do so.

It is an absurd wild goose chase of epic proportions because a) no-one knows what they’re attacking and b) the attacked attack and the attacked of the attacked attack and the attacked of the attacked of the attacked attack and so on, meaning this hate process probably looks more like an infinite regress spiral thing. (Fig. 2)

Where this ends, as they say, no one knows. (Or where it begins, or where the middle is, or whatever else.)