MY STORY

I’m not going to bore you with the dry facts of who I’ve worked with and what my achievements are. Instead, I’m going to tell you my story- no bullshit, full disclosure.

Before I was verbal I was musical. Before I could walk I would dance. In my crib, in the dark my mother would hear me singing my songs and come in to see me bouncing around instead of sleeping.

At age 7 I was performing solo acts to the full “Lion King” soundtrack for my family… twice a day. By age 8 I was using the front porch as a stage for my entire neighbourhood to come and watch. By the time I turned 10 I was performing publicly for my whole city.

Every spring and summer beyond that point was spent rehearsing, acting, singing and dancing in professional musical theatre productions and competing in talent shows.

There was no place else I wanted to be than the stage and I didn’t care to know myself outside of being a performer. It’s who I was and all I wanted to do forever. In my mind, I was destined for stardom.

Eventually my passion and skill for writing my own story through song became greater than performing someone else’s.
At age 18, I decided to leave my Music Theatre college program in the Thousand Islands where I grew up and move to the big city of Toronto to become a solo artist.

I spent the following 10 years as a solo artist in the city building up my musical catalogue, trying out different genres with different teams and performing my own material.

I’ve also been a ‘front desk’ girl, a bartender, a strip club waitress, a fitness instructor, a fitness consultant, a minion at an architect shop, a yoga instructor, a meditation instructor, and a model. At one point I was even a distributer for prosthetic feet.

It wasn’t until age 25 that I made any “real” money as a singer/performer, so I did whatever it took to support my dreams.

In the process, I’ve been praised, ridiculed, put up on a pedestal and knocked right off it onto my ass.

The amount of times I’ve overcome depression and anxiety are definitely more than what my Instagram feed would have you believe.

My voice has been strong, weak, lost and found again through 2 years of intensive speech pathology.
I’ve participated in 2 years of personal therapy and will probably always have something that needs healing.

There’s no way of counting how many songs I’ve written… there are literally hundreds.

I’ve spent thousands of dollars and shed more than a million tears.

My journey as an artist has unequivocally been the wildest ride of my life.

I’d be lying if I said my despair and hopelessness had never gotten the better of me. They have more times than I care to count.

Truth be told, I’ve released tons of songs but to date I still haven’t put a full album out. YET…

There is however, a silver lining. Although my music career hasn’t propelled me into a #1 spot on the Billboards (and again I stress …YET), I unexpectedly became a rockstar in the wellness industry instead!

Ok, maybe the “rockstar” bit is slightly self-proclaimed, but what started in my early childhood as a hobby to keep me healthy for the stage, eventually generated an extremely successful second career for me.

Since 2007, I’ve led hundreds of individuals and groups though fitness, yoga and meditation classes.
I am now coaching some of the most high performing executives in Toronto and the most renowned athletes in the world.
I speak at educational & motivational corporate wellness events, teach at wellness retreats and lead trainings for aspiring wellness professionals.

You could say in some senses that business is booming even if it wasn’t what I originally set out to accomplish.

Here’s where the story gets interesting though… and bear with me because this next part isn’t easy to admit.

For a long time, I was unconsciously ashamed of the tremendous success that I’ve been achieving in my health and wellness career, because I perceived it as direct reflection of the failure I thought I was experiencing in my music career.

Let that one sink in.

I’m broadly respected as a “wellness expert” who helps people change their lives every day and yet I’ve been embarrassed by that because deep inside of me I’ve seen it as a cop out of my dreams in music.

I’ve seen it as something that has stood in the way, wasted my energy and prevented me from being able to devote my entire being to the part of myself that was declared- at the mature age of 10- as 100% who I am and who I’ll always be.

I denied myself of owning this integral and abundant part of me in fear of losing my “identity” as an artist.

Instead, I ended up losing my identity as a person.

For years I felt like I had to hide who I truly was and keep the two careers completely segregated from one another. I walked around split in half, only really living into 50% of the badass I could have been at any given time.

I became exhausted. Hurt. Out of ideas. Unmotivated. Afraid.. and broke as F***.

I didn’t feel like I was living my purpose and so began the rapid waning of my self worth.
The stress of my life peaked my pre-existing performance anxiety and eventually compromised my immune system, my vocal ability and mental health.

It wasn’t until I lost my voice for 6 months that I decided to file a release from my U.S. recording contract, slow down my life and deepen my mindfulness & meditation practises.

The self awareness I gained by doing this allowed me to shine light on my darkest fears and find acceptance for ALL parts of who I am… not just the girl who only knows a world of performance, applause and bright lights.

It showed me that the greatest assets I will ever possess were attained not once I reached my goals, but during my struggles to work towards them.

I can say wholeheartedly that I would not have made it through those struggles or attained my “greatest assets” without the vital tools I acquired on my journey as a wellness leader.

It’s crystal clear to me now that when I live by labels I limit what I’m capable of, and that is a great disservice to myself and to the world.

“I used to think success meant getting record deals, now I see that success means turning them down… FREEDOM is my KINGDOM.” – Janey

So am I ever going to become that ‘star’ I wanted to be at age 10?

Maybe. Maybe not.

The thing is, I’ve stopped striving for it because I want to be a different type of star now.

I want to be a star that lights the way for others to unleash their most badass self.

A star that helps others find the same courage, healing and self worth I’ve found through meditation, mindfulness.

Most of all, I want to be a star that helps others uncover and face their greatest fears, so they can realize their greatest potential in life.

“Love yourself: Not just for the prizes you’ve won, but for the trouble you’ve brought upon yourself. Not just for the side of you that feels the sun, but for the one that hides in the shadows. Not just for when you smile, but for smiling when the tears come. You are not whole without your imperfections… and as a whole you deserve love.” – Janey