Sunday, April 26, 2009

According to my calculations, an average of 20 people take their shirts off at shows in Salem, one asshole will stand right behind me and talk through quiet time, 50% of love is returned, and an average of 4 people read this blog on a regular basis. So to you devoted 4, this one blog post will be more personal than I am comfortable with, but it's honest and this is its raison d'être.

Pluto is kicking my ass. Its destructive force moved into my life in the beginning of November. When you dream you are in danger and can't run, your legs are weighted, your mouth is open but no cry comes out, that is Pluto. But I am not dreaming, I'm just hurting and when I open my mouth the cry does emerge. I am not home, I am not with my friends, I am not with my family, I am not in my city and I am not in Love. And there we have the whole point of Pluto. To face defeat and continue on, emerging from the ashes a new and lovelier bird. There is a Sufi saying, "Die many times before you die." I'm being burned alive and it will happen again and that is life. Pluto is with us all. Now is the time for letting go. I will be angry and I will be sad and I will be defeated but I will never take my shirt off just cus everyone else does, I will never be the loud asshole, and I will always love with 100% of my heart.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Is it opposites day? I mean, I put at least one article of clothing on backwards or inside out a minimum of once a week, but today I discovered my underwear were on inside out, my leggings on backwards, and I slipped a hoodie over my head to be met with total darkness. I went to a Jake Shimabukuro show and found myself wondering how you can tell if you're the cool kid that happens to be into what your parents would like, or if you've simply turned into your parents? On a day like today I fear the worst. Not that there is anything wrong with my parents, it's just that I'm only 28 years old. I'm not ready for the ability to relate to parrot head jokes. That said, the concert was lovely and the sun came out in the afternoon.