Tonight, for the first time in almost a decade, I’ll be stepping into a college classroom as a student. Before anyone questions my sanity, not to worry. I’m enrolled in an eight-week, non-credit writing course, not a degree program.

Of course, this temporary shift in my availability presents a new challenge for our family. Working hard is my hyperfocus jam. My household has come to rely on the fact that I self-medicate my ADHD by doing stuff around the house. Most of the time, I’m cool with that, but sometimes I miss the good old days when I could climb every mountain and take every class.

For so many reasons, I can no longer climb every mountain. That’s why I’m looking forward to this bite-size academic adventure.

College: the last place an ADHD girl can do it all

Perhaps you can also see why so many women and linguistic thinkers go undiagnosed until adulthood. My school years treated me well because they provided a lot of structure and allowed me to taste-test whatever interested me in the moment. I knew how to get an A in just about anything, and taking a breadth of classes is normal — maybe even encouraged. Taking a breadth of jobs in the real world makes you look like a flake who can’t stay employed.

As an undergraduate, I switched between four different majors and two universities. I took classes in philosophy, geology, early childhood development, calculus, and the Arab-Israeli conflict. I learned to develop photos in the darkroom, use 3D modeling software, and speak a little bit of Russian. I held down jobs as a set painter, sandwich maker, and tech support specialist.

My only regret upon receiving my bachelor’s degree (fine arts, with a minor in art history) was that I couldn’t repeat the process over and over until I’d covered every major my university offered.

Since then, I’ve applied and been accepted to two graduate programs: a master’s in community arts and an online MBA. I actually completed half (or so) of my MBA, until I’d used up my AmeriCorps education award. I was having fun and doing well. However, faced with a few years of stay-at-home parenting followed by self-employment, I couldn’t justify spending $23,000 for me to finish my MBA just for fun.

And now: snacking on knowledge

My brother-in-law coined a term for our family’s approach to learning: snacking on knowledge. And for me, right now, snacking seems like the right thing to do.

I have a young child. My 10-year career goals are muddled somewhere between novelist, professor, personal organizing coach, and pro blogger. I probably could get into a degree program (again) and do well (again), but that doesn’t mean I have to.

Aging with ADHD has required me to learn a brand new skill: slowing down. Technically, I probably can do anything I put my mind to. This doesn’t always make it a good idea to try. The fact is, I still have a solid work ethic, but I get tired now. I’m not happy when I overcommit. Life seems shorter than it once did, and I want to check at least one Big Life Goal off my list.

One of those Big Life Goals happens to be publishing a novel, and I happen to have a complete draft. I’m not only taking a practical bite out of academic life, I’m connecting it to a goal-in-progress.

I get that — the real world was a very rude awakening for me! I didn’t realize how much I relied on school for its structure, deadlines, and concrete expectations. Not to mention something new every semester!

If you have a manuscript in draft you must release it! Seriously, you are so talented.
I will say, like you, I have completed more than one degree and worked in more than one industry, never settling in anywhere. There is a restlessness to our condition, you know?

Yes! The restlessness is so frustrating. Just when I feel like I should be settling in and feeling happy with my accomplishments thus far, I feel my contentment and motivation slipping away. I become disappointed that I’m not Somewhere Else, doing Something Else.

Even sadder is getting older and realizing there’s always Somewhere Else, and it’s always somewhere else, so I’d better learn how to settle down and work on one thing even after the shiny wears off.

And thank you! I paid for the Pitch Slam at a writers conference in New York this summer, so I’m 100% committed to selling this &$#%ing thing this year 🙂

Hi! I’m Jaclyn.

I'm a stay-at-home mom and writer. My husband and I share a home, a charming preschooler, and an ADHD diagnosis.

It's possible to calm the chaos! I've managed to create a satisfying life and a peaceful home for myself and my family. I did it by treating my ADHD, learning about my brain, and figuring out what really works to keep my home, schedule, and relationships under control.

I believe you can do it, too. You just have to keep taking tiny steps forward every day.

Even if you don't have ADHD, I hope you'll stick around! In such a busy world, we all have lots to learn.

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