Desperate for Help - Toddler Hurting Me

I posted in a similar vein a few months about my LO (little one) kicking me during diaper changes, and things have only gotten worse. He kicks at other times, bites me, hits (with hands and toys) and has also taken to spitting. We’ve tried time outs but have found he’s too young to really “get it.” I take toys away when he’s not nice with them. A light pop on the butt or yelling he just finds funny. He’s not even really being aggressive when he does these things; he gets riled up and this is what he does with the excess energy. The only thing that really stops it is me telling him I’m not going to play with him that way and getting up and walking away from him. I’m three weeks away from a new baby and feeling despondent and like a failure because I have a little boy who keeps trying to hurt me. Any advice would be appreciated.

Comments (4)

Everything I just read points to he's doing it for your reaction. With a new baby coming, it's only going to get worse. Just do your best to not react or silently walk away (when safe) when he or you escalate. Give him a redirect and give him just a crap ton of praise when you see him doing the right thing. For example if he is hitting, say gentle hands. Show him what that means. Have him do it, then tell him how much you love his gentle hands. No yelling, no hitting on your part.

I agree. Don’t show any behavior you wouldn’t want him to emulate. My toddler also hits me when she’s mad and laughs when we scold. It got worse after her little brother was born. She’s just trying to get my attention. I usually say sternly “oh no, hitting is not okay. Hitting hurts people. No thank you.” And then I try to give her more loving or playful attention. I try to turn it around quickly because she really doesn’t have control over her emotions. She’s acting on pure impulse and she knows I’ll immediately pay attention to her if she acts out. Any attention is good attention to them.

I’m also reading and trying to incorporate communication from “how to talk to Little kids so they’ll listen and listen so Little kids will talk” ages 2-7. It talks a lot about how time outs are not productive and you can express displeasure without accusing or labeling them.

Good luck to you. I’ve heard this is all normal for this age. As long as we stick to our expectations for their behavior they will come out of it good little boys and girls.

Mine does the same thing. He is our only child so he gets our full attention. What I noticed works on ours is to leave the moment he does that. I tell him that it hurts and I dont want to play with him anymore. So I drop everything and stop paying any attention to him. That seems to work. We tried so many different techniques from time outs to spanking but nothing worked as well as this...

Thanks for the suggestions. I’m sure it’s partly my hormones that have me at my wits’ end. He started biting today and I asked him if he wanted to pick out a book to read so that shifted his gears. I’m anti-spanking, so even the light taps on his bottom are something I don’t want to do. I do expect it will get worse before it gets better with a baby arriving soon.

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