Hey everyone....I'm an attractive (check the pic), down to earth, and fun-loving young woman (25) who can't seem to find the guy I want. I used to always chop it up as "I'm just too Picky" but that one's getting old. I meet these successful and attractive men and it seems to never work out (and of course the guys that I'm not really into adore me) and a lot of these men have gone through really bad relationships (in which they claim it was the other person's fault of course). These men range from ages 27-38 and they have these great careers, they are trust fund babies, nice houses, great cars and it seems like they have always experienced a previous woman who have either used them for what they have, cheated on them, etc. and they were in love with these silly women, whom they moved into their gorgeous homes, have taken care of them and in return these women screwed them over. The women they were previously with have always had these tragic stories (i.e. they were being kicked out their apartments, they were in bad relationships, etc.)....on the other hand, I'm a graduate student and have never depended on a man to take care of me, but yet I never get the invitation to stay in their houses and all the help I need financially. Not saying that I'm totally looking for that, but why not give to someone who will appreciate it and give in return...Why not give to someone who likes/loves YOU for YOU. I guess my question here is not that I can't attract them but I just can't hold on to them. I need to be someone's protege....LOL....b/c I obviously have lots to learn about dating and successful men. So any men or women who have any advice.....PLEASE ASSIST! I would prefer it be someone who is older and can understand my situation, not a bunch of young women or women my age because personally they may be as clueless as me...LOL.

bombshelldiva write: Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate and agree with it. I remember when there was a time when I wouldn't even worry about finding something "serious" and now it seems like my life is consumed with finding "The One".....I've got to get a grip....LOL

I keep hearing about money...trust funds...etc. First off at 28-35 men are still working to make their goal in life. They have not reached their potential. Now we do know many people now a days make good livings at 30 but those are the minorities. If he has a good profession it will come down the road. It should be the last thing you measure a man by if you know he is successful. Men want a secure,educated(and it doesn't have to be a PHD) well grounded women. If money becomes and issue then they will be out the door. Your focus is not in the right place.
Find your place of independence where you don't need a man to make you happy and let them come to you as with all that these are the things that will attract a well rounded man to you. You have a few years to go to reach that time in your life. Make your mark in the world then allow a relationship to mature. It will be a much better time for you then....

bombshelldiva write: Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate and agree with it. I remember when there was a time when I wouldn't even worry about finding something "serious" and now it seems like my life is consumed with finding "The One".....I've got to get a grip....LOL

Actually, you have a great grip on reality and idea of what you are looking for, but as we get older our prospect of what is available and quality of that to us changes and lessons, as the selection does. Tends to make us feel more vulnerable and as if it's important to find someone right away before we get to an age where we feel too old.

One aspect, though, that most do not realize is that the majority of men are actually not emotionally mature to settle down in a lasting relationship until the ages of 28-32. Research has shown that until that time they just do not have the emotional ability to do so, be faithful and have the communication skills to handle a relationship properly. Not by any fault on their part, but just as their brains are sight oriented, they also function on a different scale there. Women mature emotionally much quicker in life then that of a man. Even at grade school age.

But you know what you seek, you just have to remember that you are a young and very beautiful girl who is smart, educated and grounded. You will certainly find a great man who will appreciate all those qualities and cherish you forever. Just when it's right. But, at your age, this is the time to explore life and embrace yourself. The average person actually dates 21 people, on the average, fairly seriously before they meet their ideal mate. So remember that and that he is out there...stay strong and don't change yourself for anyone, either! It's YOU as you are that makes someone love you, not what you can be for them or what you can give them.

Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate and agree with it. I remember when there was a time when I wouldn't even worry about finding something "serious" and now it seems like my life is consumed with finding "The One".....I've got to get a grip....LOL

Sweetie, you are still very young and full of life. It will come! Stop looking. Maybe you are just looking TOO HARD for it! We can blind ourselves when we do that. It's usually always when you stop looking that it comes along. And other times, he's right there already, you just don't notice him. He may be a co-worker, friend, you name it. But there is the perfect love out there for you and in time you will find him and when it's the right time for both of you!

I have been single by choice for 8 1/2 years. I could not bring myself to even consider a relation unless I was genuinely ready to be in one and could give it my all. Otherwise, I would only have hurt someone due to my lack of ability to be in one and jumping in when I was not ready. Emotional stability and communication are key and you have to have it for yourself before you can in a relationship.

He will come along! Take heart in that. You are a gorgeous, intelligent, young lady! When he comes along he will be a lucky and happy man and you his queen! But we have to be comfortable being alone and with ourselves before we can love someone else. Maybe that's what's wrong. You need some just you time. It's hard to see that when we look at ourselves, but others see it when we don't and our need to be with someone. Yet, until we are comfortable in our own shoes and with ourselves and alone, we won't be able to make it work. Relationships are most successful with people who are secure with themselves, which is something many of us lack in today's society and the media doesn't help anyone gain self respect and dignity either. They sell us as sex objects and useless get arounds. Not as women or as needing to be LOVED! Only that we need sex. You never see anything about love anymore. It's really pathetic. He'll come along, sweetie! Trust in that and in yourself! Good luck to you and keep faith!

If your truly looking for love..then it sounds like your looking in the wrong place. Men without money are just as loving dear and at that age 27-38 and if they are goal oriented the money will come, sounds like your looking for the quick fix as you stated the "trust fund men", they dont seem to be working for you. Your educated try hanging out at Barnes and Noble.