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Little Boxes, on the Hillside

This weekend we went to the NC mountains for a family reunion. This was largely a distant side of my family I haven’t been in contact with for over 25 years, though a few were my immediate cousins, aunts, and my uncle that I’ve seen more regularly and recently, and of course my parents, my brother, and his wife and five kids were there.

No one in our family is actually from the mountains, it is simply the chosen place of congregation.

I’ve always been undecided as to whether or not I’m a beach or mountain person. This trip solidified it – beach! But that conclusion wasn’t reached as a result of any dislike for the mountains – they were beautiful as always and hold an amazing amount of energy.

What tipped the scales for me was that the mountains have more of a tendency to lock in energy, whereas the beach more readily frees it.

Of course this could absolutely be relevant to where I am in my life, and be subject to change at any time.

My reason for this post, however, comes from my energetic experience at the reunion.

As I’ve mentioned in my Why I Chose Astrology post, I grew up within a framework of Christianity – in particular, Southern Baptism. While I hold no discrimination or judgment for what anyone else chooses to follow (as long as it isn’t harming others), growing up I had a difficult time fitting my innate spirituality into that box. But I did do my best.

The religion of my youth didn’t leave a lot of room to be happily human. I always felt that, given our unavoidable human state, there was something very off about that.

There was an overriding element of Southern Christianity at the reunion, and this weekend was a very clear reminder of my past – and of how much I’ve returned to me.

I love me.

I hope you love you, too; because, Babe, that’s all we’ve got. If you haven’t learned to love yourself yet, that’s ok. It can be a daily struggle and difficult for everyone from time to time. There’s enough love supporting you until you do, though, even if you don’t know it’s there.

And that’s basically what I initially wanted to yell at everyone this weekend.

Now remember, I’m a Leo Moon but I’m also Cancer Rising (they’re conjunct), so I’m brash and flashy but also sensitive and nurturing.

That’s been a fun, fun combination to figure out in life…

Anyway, absorbing the overwhelming sense of repression at this gathering would have been tortuous to me years ago as a young empath.

I didn’t yell at anyone though. As stifling as the energy was at times, these are well-intentioned, mostly conservative, good people making the effort to share their time and themselves in ways that are real to them and not intentionally harmful to anyone. What soon came over me was a feeling of acceptance. I was able to separate my intuitive findings from who I am and what I want.

That’s big.

So many of us are highly intuitive creatures who don’t even know it. You know when you walk into a situation or environment and you “feel the vibe”? That’s your intuition. That doesn’t mean the vibe = you, it means you can sense it. What you do from there is completely up to you.

Our lesson is to learn the fine lines between what we sense and who we are.

So back to this weekend… Like I said, the level of repression was stifling, yet this time – as an adult – I could feel grounded enough in who I have consciously chosen to be to remain happily unburdened by anything around me.

I still had the urge to “help” people – I say that with a heavy note of sarcasm because nobody wants help for which they haven’t asked. And to be clear, I don’t mean “help” people out of their religious choices. My intuition shows me specific things about people – energies that encompass them and how they feel conflicted. That’s what I’m pulled to help open up and free. As far as religion goes, to each their non-harming own.

But people like their boxes and feel safe in them when they think that whatever is outside of the box is scary and awful, regardless of the wisdom that anything you fear is scary only because you fear it. Intuition, astrology, psychic abilities, and mediumship are my main ways of noticing and breaking down those walls, but aren’t often considered to be the tools of light I find them to be in such circles as I was in this weekend.

So instead I held it in, smiled, small talked, and left.

Sometimes it’s much more loving to just show up, support the event that others have created in the effort of love, and leave knowing who you are. Sometimes that is the lesson.

Each of us has the responsibility to think, feel, and be outside of our own box.

No matter how hard you try, you cannot change anyone; they have to be ready to change themselves, to emerge on their own.

Sometimes the best (positive) motivating factor that makes you want to change yourself is seeing the light in someone or something else. And then like a flower to the sun you bend to face that direction. But I think that only works when you’re ready to grow. At least, that’s when it seems to work for me. Trying to force someone to open up wouldn’t be any better than suppressing them within any doctrine’s walls.

Love, compassion, kindness, and acceptance – all of those for self and others – are the bridges between our cages, the lights toward which we lean.