As I close in on 3 years 8 months postpartum, I think it might be time to lose the baby weight. I don't know how much I gained with my pregnancy, however I am currently about 25-30 lbs over the weight I would like to be. (In scary what was I thinking then news: I am roughly 60 lbs heavier than when I met my husband. Of course, my eating was a bit disordered at that point in my life.)

I keep saying that I'm going to do it, that I'm going to diet, that I'm going to exercise and I keep NOT doing it. I don't know why it is. I just can't seem to keep my motivation. But I may very soon have some motivation.

I'd like to have the weight gone by the time of my 10th anniversary next May. Mr. W and I have spoken about renewing our vows then and I'd like to do it looking even better than our wedding day... or at least as good.

My real motivation for losing the weight is that I want to look good when my next child is born. If I'm not the one who is pregnant, I don't think I should look like I was! (But damn, would I give anything to be that one!!) As of now, well, there's a GOOD chance that could be happening next year! There's been a lot of movement and back and forth with Scott's company that could indicate his company's largest profit ever. This could really be happening!!

I seriously need to drop some cycling pounds. I'm basically been cycling/getting ready to cycle for the past year, and I always pack on 10-15 lbs while on meds. I was already 15 lbs over when I started. I'd really like to lose 30-40 lbs to feel more like myself, but for now I'll be happy with at least 20.

Frank got Wii Active for me for our anniversary. While the kids are at the beach, we're going to give it a whirl.

Last week while getting dressed, I noticed that one of my breasts suddenly felt different. It was softer than it had been. I looked in the mirror and knew right away what had happened. The implant in my left breast ruptured and was slowly leaking saline into my body.

I called my OB for a recommendation on a plastic surgeon. The name they gave me wasn't listed in the phone directory of the practice they told me to call. So I called the surgeon who had put the implant in in the midwest in 1994. His assistant pulled my files and called me later in the day after talking to the surgeon. He knew a surgeon who was good in my area but had recently retired, so he gave me the number of a surgeon who specializes in pediatric cranio-facial surgeries but who should be able to refer me to someone who would do a good job. Interestingly, that surgeon had removed the sebaceous nevus from the lowercase' head a few years ago, so we already knew them. His assistant said that he would be more than willing to do the surgery for me and that he could squeeze me in about 3 weeks faster than his practice was currently scheduling.

I have a pre-op consult scheduled for July 14. In the meantime, I have to live with the deflated balloon inside my body... and a chest that is DRASTICALLY lopsided. Which is kind of funny. I had the surgery shortly before my 17th birthday so that I would never be lopsided like this again -- and now I'm even MORE lopsided than I was then! (At that point I was a full B on one side, about an A on the other; my chest is now MUCH larger than that)

Now, this is why I say Oprah is right. She's had a few episodes where she talks about how American women are wearing the wrong bra size and the need to be professionally fitted. Since I have this issue right now, I decided that I needed to get a good sturdy bra, one that was structured enough to give the illusion that both sides were the same as well as some good pads/"chicken cutlets" to fill in the extra space.

About a year ago, I was measured at a Victoria's Secret. The woman there swore that I needed a 38C. Of course, it didn't fit. At all. So I just kept trying things on until something felt right. I ended up buying a lot of 34DD bras. Oh, how wrong I was on my size!! It turns out that I'm actually a 32 band -- something that shocked me to find out, though prior to pregnancy I was a 32C. Post-baby I am a 32G. I have never had a bra feel as good as this bra does. It is beyond comfortable. I look thinner, though I have no idea how that's possible. There just aren't any bulges around the bra anywhere.

I don't agree with a lot of what Oprah says, but in this instance? Listen to the woman! Get yourself fitted if you haven't already because the difference is UNREAL!