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"Every other game follows a similar pattern. Alabama snuffs out the run game entirely. Since 2008, opponents have gained an average of 83.64 rushing yards a game against the Alabama defense. Do not use them all at once, no matter how hungry you are, because that is all you get. LSU averaged 202 yards a game in 2011, and got 79 yards total in the title game. Everyone dies.

Once they eliminate the run, the pain begins. The defense knows your pass routes, because they are taught to pattern-read and pattern-read very well. Even with top-25 talent, their pass rush contains better developed, better-coached athletes than yours. What your quarterback actually gets out of his hand is batted away, thrown harmlessly underneath for two yards, or caught by someone wearing a Crimson Tide jersey. You might get sacked. If you don't fumble, smile! That is considered a good result here.

Then you punt, and Alabama's offense hammers away, chews clock, and attempts 15 to 20 very carefully chosen passes in an attempt to kick field goals or sometimes score touchdowns. They don't need many of either.*