Monday, July 02, 2007

Stupid People

On Father's Day my husband's paternal Grandfather died. We had already planned a trip to Arkansas to introduce the kids to both sides of his family the last weekend in June and due to the move we could not just up and go out there at the time. We went ahead with the scheduled trip this weekend and drove out with his Mom, Aunt, Cousin, and the kids.

Our kids, as anyone who has ever peeked here would know, have some issues. I am VERY rigid with doing all the care giving myself, bedtimes, appropriate behavior, and expectations. I asked my MIL to explain to her youngest sister these rules and how to react. This sister refused to go along with these and was EXTREMELY rude to me on several occasions. She took my son and Emma and insisted they ride with her. I can not legally let her b/c we have not finalized and she huffed and puffed about how stupid I was being. When I tried to respond, she walked off. Over dinner she snatched P to sit with her at that end of the table. I know she wanted her b/c P has really opened up with meds and is really personable, not to mention gorgeous. This woman managed to convince my MIL to take Emma, B, and P to Walmart and bought them all a bunch of candy and crap before dropping them off at the hotel.

We did not see her again until Sunday when I was determined to make nice and explain things myself. WOW, I was wrong! We were attending a family reunion and in front of 50+ people she repeatedly disrespected me and even began gossiping about me. My husband and MIL are very hard of hearing and missed everything. I was shunned from the group, I sat at the end of a table where everyone around me refused to talk to me. At first, I thought I was overreacting. I tried to talk to a few folks and they actually turned around and ate their food in their lap instead of sitting at the table correctly. She went around and told everyone I was mean to her and would not let her get to know my kids. If I hadn't had 3 kids with tummy aches and crying I would have dealt with the situation better, instead I just asked my husband to leave. This woman actually said, "Glad you got to see me !" to my husband as we were leaving and meant it.Good things happened, I was promised we would never have to go back and my kids were great.Our SW has decided to leave and her last day was Friday. We will miss her terribly.

People can be so strange. I have to admit that the way I would have dealt with a situation has changed drastically since I have become a foster parent. I'm not saying that she isn't selfish or a witch, but maybe she just really didn't get it.

My husband and I were SO critical of some foster parents that we knew and used to talk about them all the time; Can you believe they are doing X to that poor little child?!?!" Nowadays the conversation is "Boy, I used to think that was horrible, but maybe we should try it at our house!"

Yup, she most likely thought any problem behaviors your kids had were due to your bad parenting. Blah! We all know better.

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About Me

I am the mother of 10 children, 6 are part of a large sibling group we adopted through foster care in 2006, 2 are our grown foster daughters, 2 are from independent infant adoptions in 2001 and 2008. Every one of them have their own issues to work through from Schizo-Affective Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Complex PTSD, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Sensory Integration Dysfunction, ADHD, and Cerebral Palsy. Most of our children have been victims of sexual abuse by a close family member, most acted out sexually or exhibited predatory behaviors. We are currently trying to figure out where the trauma ends and mental illness begins in each of their lives.