Careless

Without a care- I am here. Warn-out, empty- But I am here. Sitting, not listening- Yet I am here. Thinking, waiting, At least I am here. You know, They say its better to be here, I hate it though. Neither do I like home. I can't stand anywhere- Well, when I'm with people people I forget. No- I never forget- why lie? Some days are better than others. Some days are worse. I walk around with tears stapled to my eyes. That cringing feeling in your throat- When your about to let go- a huge river of water from your eyes But I keep them in. I keep that river from flowing. Even when I'm "home" I keep it stopped, Like a dam really. But my dam breaks sometI'mes- Not as much anymore. I don't allow it to. When I'm with people- I can't break that dam. No one can watch such a crI'me. Being alone- Whats that like? I forgot. See its like a current- I loose myself in the current. When alone- I sleep. But, I'm not lasy. There's not much to do. Sleep,eat. Everything is a hassle. Not just homework, life. Life's not easy, I know. Nothing no one else doesn't know. But getting in the shower isn't that easy either. Neither is waking up. I enjoy sleep. But i don't sleep a lot. Just a night- because I'm here. Tired and empty- yet I'm here. Although i just sit- I made it here. And right now, That's my goal. I'm going to come here. And sit. Wait for each bell to ring- walk out, mind full of thoughts. Yet to pretend I'm alright- People know somethings up- Really when I'm down, but, I'm here. The bags under my eyes show no sleep- But, 9-6 is plenty. I'm worn out. Not in a since of sleep When I was young I learned people get tired easy, Seeing people sleep all the tI'me- it was "normal" to me, And when they awoken, still tired- They said being sad makes you sleepy to. So, I'm just sad. Or maybe the bags are from stress. Maybe both. I'm here though, Concealer is my best friend- But shes not working as well anymore When something gets too bad- You cant cover it up completely. Unless you sleep. Sleep hides it all. You can't sleep and be here too. So-you ask what is wrong? Tell me to be happy- Yet I can't sleep HERE. But "home" isn't happy either. So, if I can sleep- you'll see me happy. But I'm here. Worried, displeased- I'm here. Not much more I'd do. Yes, I hang with friends- But that's because they are like my sleep. Only certain ones through- Ones locked down upon. But, I enjoy them. So, I'm here- and I'll stay here. They say its good for me to be here- So here I am.

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