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Colour in?

(http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/angela-mollard-we-need-to-treat-kids-like-kids/story-fnet085v-1227220331236) and I thought I would write about my son’s best friend D. They have been friends since grade 5. He often comes over to my house every other weekend and spends the night.

He is a mediocre student, barely scraping through with lots of B’s and C’s. In Grade 5 and 6, he spent most of his free time on his BMX bike. Grade 7, he quit BMX and decided to do longboarding. He was on his skateboard even at midnight ( to the extent that his neighbour called the cops because he was making too much din on his skateboard ! ). Grade 8, he decided to give up longboarding and picked up surfing. Middle of grade 9, he went for a dinner with his parents to their friend’s house and they owned a piano. After dinner, the host played couple of oldies on the Piano and D asked if he could have a go. The boy who never touched a piano key until that moment or learned an instrument could play every song the host played. On the way back, he asked his parents if they would buy him a piano. They talked to him about how he always gives up whatever activity he starts and explained to him that buying a piano is not cheap. But he insisted and they bought him a Piano. 6 months after he got the piano, he won the local talent competition beating kids who have been learning to play the piano for more than 10 years.

Some mornings, I walk by his house and can hear him playing the piano. I have heard about children born with incredible talents, but never met anyone until D started playing the piano. He is the best pianist I have ever met. When you see him playing the piano, It is like his fingers just move on their own volition.

What I really liked about his parents was that, they gave him a wonderful childhood. They didn’t go after him because his grades weren’t good. They didn’t stop him from doing what he really wanted to do, for they knew eventually he will find his own niche..

You don’t need to colour in your children’s lives..they will do that on their own..

10 thoughts on “Colour in?”

Sarah said the right thing. Why then parents don’t behave like that? Even you are not an exemption. Choosing the middle path, leading them in your way cleverly without them knowing what actually happens, taking into consideration their opinion.

Reading that I feel like you’re an angel sent from heaven and I mean it. You’re no ordinary parent, or at least Indian parent . I feel like the way you see and perceive things is the reason why your children are so incredibly close to you. The way I see things, many parents use their children to fulfill their wishes and desires rather than letting children discover themselves and their own abilities and talents, especially in many Asian communities where parents like to use their children as trophies and brag off how their kids are this and that and are better than other kids. Probably this is where jealously, greed and arrogance comes to play. Then comes criticizing and backstabbing so that they can be on the top. The kids suffer at the end and once in a while it ends in something horrific (think suicide).

And I agree children will make mistakes in life. But to be honest, it’s a good thing only because you’ll really know what life is about and you learn better if you experience it. It may be a painful experience but at least if you’re wise and optimistic you can make it into something good. I’m struggling to find my niche in life too after a small tragedy last year, but I’m always hounded on and bitched at on how I “ruined” my life and how I should be married with kids now. I didn’t ruin my life and what happened was not entirely my fault, but with narrow minded parents they cannot see any other way. I am hoping something good comes out of it.

J1206: You know, I screwed up more times than I can count on my fingers. I haven’t looked back at those events, because life doesn’t go backwards. Enough of getting worked up about the small mistake you made in your life. You are the captain of your life, stop looking back, look ahead and live..

I’m not worked up. I’m over it and moved forward. Things got a tad better now that I am working. I moved ahead and moved past that. Got through the bad phase, but I just can’t stand living at home because whenever this tragedy brings up, it is always put into a negative context. I’m optimistic and I believe that any bad experiences and knowing how to deal with it can bring something good, or so I hope.

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thanks.