Monday, December 07, 2009

Awakening

I think this quote really says a lot about me and how i have been feeling. I have again been struggling with my anxiety and for a long time I wish i could just start over with a new beginning and everything just be okay, but i know that is not possibly so i have to take it one day at a time and know that i can make it through and come out just fine!A major thing i have become aware of is that I need to take care of me and not put others problems and worries before my own. This is a hard hard thing for me to do because for the longest time that's all i have done and i think that is a reason why my anxiety has gotten so out of hand. I hide my own feelings away to help others when all that is doing is hurting me more.I have recently been going to see a counselor which has been helping me tremendously in figuring all this out. I have only went for 3 sessions so far and the last time i was there she was so shocked at how well i have progressed! She told me "I noticed you seemed happier just when i came out and got you from the waiting room"I told her that I just know what i need to do and i've decided i can't put it off any longer that i just really want to be happy again! Its been so long since i have been truly happy but i think i am on my way to recovery and finding that happy place again.I know its not going to happen over night and its going to take some time but I think im now in the right mind set and ready for the work its going to take to make it happen.

I would never get through this if it wasn't for my family and friends and i just want to take a minute and thank you all for everything you have done! Even if it is just to listen or a shoulder to cry on i really really appreciate everything! You are all in my heart always and i am very blessed to have you.