In our private facebook group, the question was asked "What do you do when a boundary is broken?" Everyone loved one particular answer . . .

If the boundary crossed makes me feel insignificant or inhuman, I do something that reminds me of who I am (talks with God, sponsor, long walks/drives, meditation) If it makes me feel unsafe, I retreat to a safe place (talk with my WoPAs (wives of porn addicts), sanctuary in my bedroom, therapy). If it makes me feel like I'm incapable, I do something awesome or strength showing (service, build stuff (and break stuff), lift stuff, plan stuff, stretch!)If it shoots my anxiety through the roof I reduce anxiety (yoga, breathing, meditation).If it makes me afraid I (curl up in a ball and cry) - well, I haven't found the antidote to fear yet.

What would you add to the list?Any fantastic advice on finding that antidote to fear?

I have learned that fear is telling me I need comfort right now. I seek out people who can bring me comfort. Or do things that bring me comfort. After 2 years of progress in recovery and seeing my husband's improvement and effort in daily trying, I am ready to consider seeking comfort from him. That will take a great deal of vulnerability and trust, which is why I say i am only ready to consider it. In the moment of feeling fear I will consider the circumstances and weigh everything in the balance and proceed with great caution. But rather than curl up alone in fear I reach out for comfort.

Reply

Leave a Reply.

PURPOSE

This space was originally created to share ideas and tools, and bring together women whose lives have been affected by a loved one's pornography addiction and/or infidelity. As well as those who support and love them. And all those who wish to become better educated about the issues of pornography and addiction in our society.

While there will be no further posts, there is a wealth of amazing information here -- most especially in the Community Lessons linked to through the picture below. Please check them out!