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The Naughty Aughts

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Sure, the aughts were fraught with heretofore unimaginable perils: terror attacks, hurricanes, American-administered torture, new viruses, newspapers and buildings and the economy collapsing, nuclear Iran, Punk’d. The national gap between rich and poor widened as rapidly and dramatically as our national waistline, while reality TV spawned a new league of useless celebrity, some of whom thereafter release shitty books or albums, others of whom witlessly indulge their penchant for breeding as many babies as the human vadge can muster. Hot summers, cold winters, polar bears languishing amid dwindling ice floes, and the grim prospect that one’s fortunes may rise or fall based solely on how well one can swim. Feeling a little frazzled, beloved readers? Dude, no fucking wonder. Still, let’s take a look-see back at some of this weird stuff, and imagine what may come next, and try not to panic. Plus, wait! This decade had a whole lot of awesome memorable stuff in it, too, y’all: Baby pandas. Sigh. Baby pandas. Sometimes sneezing!