7/3/2005

* Hulk Hogan recently went on a rant in FHM in regards to his daughter’s dating life and here’s what he had to say:

“I run a tight ship here, and if you want to date my daughter, Brooke, you must obey the Hulk Hogan Demandments. They’re not commandments – they’re demandments. Obey them, and you might pass the test.

First off, you have to be clean-cut. If you’re a jabroni-you know, tattoos, piercings, purple hair and all that crap-it’s not happening. Not in this lifetime.

You must be respectful. When you come over to my house, I don’t expect a present, but I do expect you to call me Mr. Hogan and that you bring your best behavior, values, and manners. If you come over, and for some reason I’m not around, stay out of my office and my gym. I don’t want my stuff messed with.

Before you take my daughter anywhere, you need to spend some quality time at our house with the family so we can get to know you. That’s also when I’ll be checking to make sure your pupils aren’t dilated and that your eyes aren’t jitterbugging all over the place-drugs and alcohol are a definite no-no.

I prefer that you’re not a wrestler. If you’re meek and mild, I can put the fear of God into you more easily.

You have to be modest. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s cockiness! We had that Aaron Carter kid come by once wanting to date my daughter. He lasted about an hour in my house before I kicked him out. Brooke somehow talked me into inviting him over, and once he was here, he started putting his feet up on the furniture and going into the refrigerator without asking. Finally, I told him to hit the highway.

If I do finally allow you to take Brooke out, I demand that she’s returned home on time and that she call to check in every half-hour. I have GPS installed in her car, so I know where you’re going. I can also remotely shut her car engine down if I think something funny is going on.

Keep your hands to yourself-and that’s not even a demandment, that’s standard procedure if you want to live.

I’ve also taught Brooke how to defend herself. She’s been boxing for three years now and can throw one hell of a right cross. I’ve taught her some submission holds if somebody puts their hand in the wrong place and basic self-defense stuff like the heel stomp, the crotch shot and the thumb-in-the-eye technique. But no one has been stupid enough to disrespect Brooke like that. It would be trouble if they did: I’m not afraid of a good lawsuit.”

7/5/2005

* World Wrestling Entertainment has come to agreements on the release of the following Superstars, WWE would like to wish them the best in their future endeavors.

7/6/2005

* The following comments have been posted on WWE.com from Brock Lesnar regarding returning to WWE and a meeting that is scheduled with Vince McMahon:

“I’m excited about getting my working boots on and getting back to business, I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow in the meeting, I don’t know if I’m returning to WWE, I really don’t. In order for this to happen, it has to work for both Vince and myself.”

“We need to get on the same page. There’s some hard feelings on both ends of this. Sometimes it takes a little time to heal. We’ll know more tomorrow.”

“I had some maturing to do. There comes a time in everybody’s life when you have to grow up. But professional wrestling is in my blood. I may have second guessed it in the past, but I know it now.”

7/12/2005

* Last night on RAW, Matt Hardy made his return to WWE by jumping Edge and verbally ripping on Edge, Lita and WWE. The appearance, which was the start of a “worked shoot” storyline, confirms Matt Hardy is back with WWE in some capacity.

7/13/2005

* This past Sunday night was the premier episode of Hulk Hogan‘s new reality TV series, “Hogan Knows Best”. VH1 has issued a press release, announcing “Hogan Knows Best” as its most successful series premiere ever. The show scored a 1.9 rating in the coveted 18-49 demographic, topping the other two “CelebReality” season premiers – The Surreal Life (1.5) and Celebrity Fit Club (1.4).

The premier episode of “Hogan Knows Best” was not only the most successful VH1 series premier of all time. Sunday night’s show was also the #2 most watched broadcast in the history of the network.

7/15/2005

* Muhammad Hassan will get a World Heavyweight title shot in London, Ontario on Saturday, August 13th against champion Batista.

7/20/2005

* The Internet Move Database ran a story yesterday about the Muhammad Hassan angle. They wrote: “A spokesman for World Wrestling Entertainment has acknowledged that airing a match featuring a supposed Arab-American wrestler named Muhammad Hassan on the day of the London subway and bus bombings was ‘terrible’.” They were referring to Gary Davis, who they credited the quote to in a story with Advertising Age. They also disclosed Hassan’s real name, which is Mark Copani.

7/21/2005

* WWE.com addressed the reports of UPN nixing the Hassan character in an update this evening:

“Due to the unfortunate terrorist attacks in London on Thursday, July 7, which coincided with our pre-produced WWE SmackDown! program, UPN has asked us to be sensitive to the usage of the Arab-American character, Muhammad Hassan. We have agreed with UPN, and have not had the character on SmackDown! since that date. It is uncertain as to whether or not the WWE will continue with this character beyond this Sunday’s Pay-Per-View, The Great American Bash.”

7/25/2005

* Vince McMahon was upset last night with the match that Batista had with JBL. It may have been the fact of Vince McMahon giving too much credit to Triple H who was able to carry Batista through a series of matches, but last night Batista was clearly having problems in the main event working a match with JBL.

7/27/2005

* WWE.com has posted an update in its continuing coverage of the Brock Lesnar return story. The following was announced this evening:

WWE.com has learned that Brock Lesnar has met with his attorney, David Olsen, to discuss the written contract offer Lesnar received last week from World Wrestling Entertainment Inc. It is unclear when the contract will be signed. The terms were not disclosed.

8/2/2005

* WWE.com posted the following statement:

“After verbally agreeing to terms with WWE, Brock Lesnar has decided to withdraw from any involvement with the company.”

Considering how the company has handled the entire thing from day 1, this could end up being just another “storyline swerve.” We’ll have more information on the topic as it becomes available.

8/3/2005

* A number of wrestlers were said to be very disappointed with the way WWE decided to handle Matt Hardy‘s official return to the company. The Matt Hardy storyline was believed to have a tremendous amount of potential and much of the optimism that existed regarding his return has almost completely died down. One of the biggest issues discussed was that WWE seems to have abandoned Hardy’s “anti-establishment” persona by having him shake hands with Vince. While it may be too early to judge whether or not his decision to return was a bad idea, a lot of the momentum he could have had at this point seems to have evaporated.

8/4/2005

* Bret Hart and WWE have agreed on a deal for an upcoming DVD chronicling the amazing career of the Hit Man. Bret will be in Stamford over the next several days working on the DVD.

8/10/2005

* WWE SmackDown!’s July PPV offering, The Great American Bash, was widely viewed as a disappointment and one of the worst PPVs of the year. Fortunately, it appears not many people had to sit through the show. The initial buyrate estimates for Great American Bash are estimated at around 200,000 buys. Although initial projections are typically a bit lower than the final number, the show is still dangerously close to being the worst-performing WWE event in years.

There was a lot of backstage tension in June as to whether or not the ECW PPV “One Night Stand” would draw a better number than RAW’s June offering, Vengeance. While the final numbers for both of those shows have still yet to be announced (reports indicate they were close), ECW has easily outdrawn SmackDown!’s single-brand show.

This is said to be very disappointing for Batista as he was supposed to be the face of Smackdown coming off his victories against Triple H.

8/13/2005

* James ‘Jamie Noble’ Gibson won the Ring of Honor World Title tonight in Dayton, Ohio. He won a 4 Man Elimination Match against Christopher Daniels, Samoa Joe, and defending champion CM Punk. Interesting news, considering that Gibson is on his way back to WWE. This does set up possible title matches with Homicide on 8/20 in New Jersey and possibly Bryan Danielson on 9/17 in Long Island.

8/18/2005

* From WWE.com:

WWE.com has learned that Jonathan Coachman has just signed a multi-year deal with World Wrestling Entertainment.

“Obviously, the powers that be love my work,” an arrogant Coach claimed when reached to comment on the signing. “I also received a Coach-sized signing bonus.”

Coach, who has been with WWE for six years, admits that there may have been other options available to him other than the RAW announce table.

“There were tons of other offers on the table, but I thought it was in the Coach’s best interest, as well as WWE’s best interest, to stay home. Let’s face it; the voice that’s running this train is the Coach’s.”

Coach sees big things for him in the future now that is new deal is in place and he’s is an official member of the RAW announce team.

“I’ll be doing commentary long after J.R. and The King are gone.”

8/19/2005

* In a pre-pay-per-view meeting, TNA officials informed all superstars that they are no longer permitted to perform at indy shows that will be released on DVD and sold nationally through major stores such as Best Buy.

8/22/2005

* Thanks to Datraceman for the following:

I just got back from Summerslam at the MCI Center and let me tell you this was the hottest crowd I have seen in a while. The crowd was very anti-babyface with Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, and even Eddie Guerrero getting chants.

Matt Hardy‘s career officially ended tonight as well. The crowd was buzzing about this match and when it ended the way it did most people were saying Matt made a mistake coming back. The boos at the end of the match were very loud and real.

Batista didn’t come across well either to the hometown crowd. The biggest pop for him came after the powerbomb on the stairs.

There were a lot of people commenting about wanting to get Captain Charisma shirts and wondering if Christian would make an appearance. Why WWE de-pushes the guy I have no idea. He was clearly on a lot of people’s minds tonight.

Lastly, Hogan/Michaels killed the crowd until about the last 8 minutes or so, then it hit a fever pitch so high the walls were shaking.

1.JBL2. Finish to the Matt Hardy match3.Eugene (especially when he started doing Rock’s moves)

8/24/2005

* The Charismatic Enigma Jeff Hardy appeared on the “Between the Ropes” radio show and had a lot to say about the Edge–Lita–Matt Hardy situation, Matt’s dealings with TNA before he returned to WWE as well as and Jeff’s own future in wrestling.

Jeff Hardy sounded very disappointed in the way Matt has been conducting himself recently. He said that he believes Matt knew he was going back to WWE the whole time and that it was wrong to waste TNA’s time and string them along. Numerous TNA officials are understandably upset, considering the amount of time they spent on planning out potential angles for Matt’s anticipated debut in TNA.

He couldn’t defend Matt’s behavior in the last several months and was very upset at his brothers comments on Byte This! that he was closer with Lita than Jeff. He said he didn’t want to get involved with all the drama because he had been close with all 3 people, but was literally forced by Matt to leave nasty voicemails on Edge and Lita’s voicemails.

8/25/2005

* In what could be a shocking development, Chris Jericho‘s official website now has a logo of TNA up with Jericho posing in front of it. Jericho, who was recently “fired” from RAW was expected to take some time off to spend with family and concentrate on music, but it was not expected that he would be making any sort of jump to TNA.

9/1/2005

* Surprise, surprise. According to several fan reports as of late, Matt Hardy and Lita have been spotted together on the road on several occassions. The latest on the saga is that the two were spotted together at the Bahama Breeze on International Drive in Orlando, on 8/28, where they ate together. Conveniently, this happens to be right after the WWE house show that day.

Well, perhaps we’ll never know the answer to the million-dollar question of whether the two ever broke up or not, but this goes to show you what pro wrestling is all about via PWInsider.com

9/12/2005

* Matt Hardy is under the impression that he will be the winner of the Steel Cage match this Sunday against Edge. Although he hasn’t been push as a main-eventer, he remains optimistic about his long-term future in WWE.

9/15/2005

* Take this for what its worth. Recently Vince McMahon was pitched a “Dave Chappelle-like gimmick” but he had no idea who he was. McMahon was shown a Chappelle Show tape and he loved it.

9/16/2005

* IWGP champion Kazuyuki Fujita will face Masahiro Chono and Brock Lesnar announced today in Japan. Of course it will be interesting too see how this plays out because Lesnar has a no-compete clause with WWE that is still being enforced although he had meetings with WWE earlier this year.

9/18/2005

* This past week we reported that WWE is in negotiations with a major “crossover” celebrity to join the company and appear at WrestleMania 22. Word is going around that this unnamed celeb is none other than Major League Baseball star Jose Canseco. We’ll have more on this story as it develops.

9/19/2005

* After being missing for an entire week and having his family considering filing a missing person’s report tomorrow, Sean Waltman has showed up at a family member’s house Sunday. Waltman left his grandmother’s house in Florida last Sunday at 6PM but never showed up at the TNA PPV. He hasn’t been in contact with his family or friends for a week.

9/20/2005

The trio was watching one of his matches and began dissecting it immediately. They reportedly commented spitefully of Punk being unable to get over and wrestling as if he were performing a “simulated match” rather than working one.

Paul Heyman is said to be in awe of CM Punk and thought he’d fit in well backstage, but that doesn’t seem to be the case in recent weeks. Some inside sources even went as far as to say that Punk would have been disliked regardless of whether he was a good worker or not. Due to the fact that he isn’t extremely well known, has no outstanding gimmick or isn’t some sort of fine physical specimen, many wrestlers seem to give him the third degree.

9/21/2005

* Before the decision was made for Chavo Guerrero‘s new character to be Kerwin White, Guerrero desperately tried to come up with an alternative idea. Vince McMahon was not interested in Guerrero’s proposals, as he had his heart set on the Kerwin White character.

9/22/2005

* New rumors are beginning to swirl around that the big celebrity to make an appearance at WrestleMania 22 could be Eminem. He would be brought in for a rap battle or tag-team match with John Cena. No decision has been made yet on if Jose Canseco or Eminem will be the celebrity who’s going to make an appearance at WrestleMania 22.

9/29/2005

* The Ultimate Warrior has responded to WWE’s recent invitation for the former WWE Champion to appear on ByteThis! If you think his previous commentaries were controversial, you will not believe his recent comments. He lashes out against Vince, calls Droz a “cripple”, accuses Triple H of abusing muscle-enhancing substances, says Bobby Heenan deserves the battle with cancer he is currently going through, implies Jim Ross has had a romantic relationship with Vince McMahon and more.

Warrior’s commentary was, as always, long and rambling. Below are the “highlights”. WARNING: It gets pretty crude.

In response to the ByteThis! Invitation:

As for my own response to the invitation — I’d say the boil that I am on your ass, Vince McMahon, is causing you even more pain right now than you expected, considering that you believed the DVD would lance it once and for all. Once again, Vince, in a furious, visionless moment, you loaded, locked and fired all at once instead of considering what would be the consequences of shooting off so recklessly. I tried to tell you, Ultimate Warrior is bigger than our dislike for one another. You should have just let Him be what He was. Oh, He still will be — His fans won’t have it any other way. You are, of course, finding this out for yourself right now. But you, look what you’ve done to yourself. Similar to an exhibitionist sick to show the world their tiny, shriveled private parts, you’ve done nothing but unclothe the canker sores of your wicked personality.

Of course, I do NOT accept this brainless, disgraceful invitation. F*CK NO, I do not. You can rescue yourself, Vince. Do your own damage control. I’ve no ear for your begging anymore. Only if you were on fire would I help you — it’d just be too hard to resist pissing on you. Open mic? Then let it truly be open. Let your audience have some fresh air. Flush the toilet bowl once. Let them hear something intelligent, decent and truthful for once. Give them, Vince, what they want — just like you are always bragging the WWE does. Let them be proud for just a few moments that the energetic, intense and colorful Ultimate Warrior persona they loved when they were little kids didn’t become a self-pitying, disappointing, broken-down has-been like all the other brittle-minded skeletons traipsing around your locker rooms or now buried in forgotten about graves. Order the queer and the cripple who host the show to read what I have written here and here, and while they do that have them hold up mirrors looking at themselves so they can know exactly the kind of people in your organization I’m writing about. No apologies — I don’t discriminate for the handicapped who sign on to behave degenerately.

About Triple H:

Hell, Paul, own up little, puffy man. You tried to replicate everything about me. So what you used a few more wrestling moves. Nobody cares and even fewer will remember. It was the Ultimate Warrior intensity and look you strove for ….. It’s a good thing Vince backed off the drug testing as he did because without them you wouldn’t have made muscle grade enough for the real freaks to even let you be one of their friends. BTW, to get rid of the puffy look, get off the GH and train hard. Yeah, that’s right — train hard. Your body tells us all that you train like a tw*t and rely most on your “sports supplements.”

About Bobby Heenan:

As for you, Booby Heenan, it’s just too difficult to keep a straight face talking about the pure two-faced bag of shit you are (and have always been), what, with you also actually wearing one as a piece of body jewelry. You are dying, dis-eased on the inside, and no more time is left to get back any of the integrity that matters the most on death’s bed. Imagine what it will be like, lying there taking in your last breaths, knowing you whored yourself out your whole life, and had to, in your final years, be faced with emptying your own personal shit bag affirming to you the true value of what you achieved in your life. Not even Vince could come up with a better finish than this. Karma is just a beautiful thing to behold.

About Jim Ross:

Jimmie Ross. For the life of me, I don’t get what your beef (should I say pork?), Jimmie, is with the sane and happy ole’ Warriorman. Of course, I can only imagine that a whole hell of a lot of anal pressure must come with being one of Vince’s top *ss-wipes. Yet, still, can I ask — just when did you get to know me well enough to go on and on about me as you seem so fit to do? Can we substantiate some time period, here? Discussions or meetings that were held? Or is this too much to ask? I’m not the only one who’d like to know. Everyone is asking the same question: “Just when did Jim Ross get to know Warrior so well to have these endless opinions about him that he does?” All anyone can think of, largely because it is so apparent across the board throughout the entire DVD, is that, again, envy alone provides you (and everyone else for that matter) with the enlightenment and answers. You are obviously jealous of both the fact that I never let Vince have his way with me as he has with you and everyone else and, also, that you never had the chance to bend me over either since becoming the Mother Hen over the talent around about ‘96 when I was last there.

Stories are credited from Rajah, PWTorch, PWInsider and The Wrestling Observer. Month name photo art is by Phillip Martin.