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About this project

Hi everybody. Gregg Turner here. You might know me as the co-founding, co-singing/songwriting guitarist of one of LA’s most notorious punk-rock bands from the halcyon daze of the hardcore 80’s, The Angry Samoans. Or maybe over the last fifteen years as the singer/songwriter of the garage-rockin Blood Drained Cows out here in Santa Fe, New Mexico (unexplained eviscerated plasma-siphoned cow corpses an issue in these parts). Perhaps you’re a Calculus student of mine at the New Mexico Highlands University located where the Great Plains meet the Rocky Mountains out in the metropolis of Las Vegas, New Mexico.

No matter the association, I’d like to take a moment of your time and request your necessary assistance and sponsorship of a new recording project. Studio time is slated for the middle of March. I anticipate releasing a 6-8 song CD resulting from these sessions somewhere in the summer of 2012 (impending apocalypse notwithstanding).

GREGG TURNER “PLAYS THE HITS”

That’s what it’s gonna be called, and top-40 all-original CHARBUSTER HITS they’ll be: The Pharmacist From Walgreens, I Dreamed I Met Lou Reed, Why Must I Be A Necrophiliac In Love, I Lost My Baby To The Guy At The Bobcat Bite,[the BB is a local greasy burger and chops joint here at the edge of town] and not forgetting the popular dance-party favorite “Satan’s Bride.” Some folks have described the music as apeculiar mix of Bobby Darin, Jonathan Richman and Roky Erickson, [High Desert Angler Spring 2011] but I’ll let you be the judge. Just check out a sample of songs on the video posted on this page and decide for yourself. This CD will ultimately be released on Ronn Spencer’s White Noise label, famous for its three-decades earlier issuance of a vinyl EP by LA’s beat-rock surf-combo VOM (my proto-punk pre-Samoans exercise of questionable taste alongside renowned auteur Richard Meltzer) as well as San Francisco’s Avengers.

I play these “hits” and other songs in coffee houses and clubs in New Mexico and Tejas, sometimes in LA and Frisco, sometimes on the E. Coast too. This CD is targeted to provoke an imminent and meteoric rise to national fame and fortune. My dream is to play “Satan’s Bride” on American Idol.

COLLABORATORS

Did I mention that I’m more than psyched to have electric autoharp virtuoso Billy Bill Miller (Roky Erickson and the Aliens, Cold Sun, Blood Drained Cows) along for the ride? Billy dials an amazing array of harmonies and sympatico noise on his hot-wired harp. I first met Billy 36 years ago (when I was this wide-eyed defacto Roky Erickson publicist in the 70’s) and have never ceased to be blown away by the crazy sounds he comes up with. From the first time I tasted the sonic blast of Billy cutting loose on Roky’s “Two Headed Dog,” I was hopelessly hooked. To this queer mix we add Santa Fe percussive legend Britt Alexander and the incredible Lauren Gurgiolo (Okkerville River). Should be quite the sonic jam!

And while we’re at, as long as we're name-dropping artistic architects involved with this project, we have several alumni from the Rhode Island School of Design feverishly working not-so-behind the scenes as actors, filming technicians and conceptual schemers: Ronn Spencer, founder of White Noise records, designed the infamous cover to the Angry Samoans Back From Samoa LP and gained notoriety as the host of a zany LA weekly radio show, The Cool and The Crazy back in the 80's. Photographer Blake Hines and web designer and developer Mindy Turner also contributed significantly. Thx to them and to RISD!

EXPENSES

Yes, we have these too: The recording studio will probably run about four or five thou. We have our sights set on studios in either Austin, TX or this real retro (vintage 50’s/60’s) analog-tape tube set up in Nashville, TN. So need to factor in transpo and lodging, plus a couple grand more for fabrication of a first run of the CD’s. I estimate that it all comes close to $9000.

WHY I NEED YOUR HELP

Look, I’m just a lowly math professor professin’ differential equations and chaos theory to sometimes equally chaotic kids. Needless to explain, I ain’t no Fortune magazine CEO nor am I rollin’ in dough, despite the big bucks they pay us educators (ha). Hence, I could really, really, honestly – REALLY! use your help and support to make this CD project come to life. All contributions get an A in the course.

WHAT I NEED

I need to raise $9000 in the two months I’m running this fund drive on Kickstarter. This should be a sufficient amount of moolah to move the project to completion. The way it works, if you’re not familiar, is that I will be awarded the totality of the loot pledged if the goal of $9000 is reached; otherwise, if we run short of this total, I get to keep nothing, nada, null-set and consequently the CD effort will be shelved and I will be relegated to hiding under my New Mexico musical rock, right next to the local centipedes.

I THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND VOTE OF CONFIDENCE IN THIS ENDEAVOR.

Absolutely. Sincerely.

Peace,

Gregg TurnerSanta Fe, NMJanuary 2012

FAQ

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Pledge $100 or more

WRESTLING SPECIAL — Kenji Shibuya/John Tolos Angry Samoans Wrestling DVD, sleeve designed by Ronn Spencer. Rarer than Samoan hens-teeth. Not even available on YouTube (signed by Gregg & Ronn).

Estimated delivery:Jun 2012

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Pledge $200 or more

4 backers
Limited (21 left of 25)

BLOOD DRAINED SPECIAL — All of the perks of the $100 pledge plus a bag of Samoan Dirt and a signed copy of the Angry Samoans CD, "The Unboxed Set" (a compilation of all recorded Samoans tracks) and the 2 Blood Drained Cows CDs.

Estimated delivery:Jun 2012

You selected

Pledge $750 or more

2 backers
Limited (33 left of 35)

LIVE SPECIAL — All comps of the $200 package and Gregg will personally play a venue or party of your choosing anywhere in the United States at a mutually agreeable time (you just cover transportation & accommodations.

Estimated delivery:Jun 2012

You selected

Pledge $1,000 or more

1 backer
Limited (29 left of 30)

DELUXE LIVE SPECIAL — All comps of the $200 package and Gregg will personally play a venue or party of your choosing anywhere in the world at a mutually agreeable time (you just cover transportation & accommodations). Gregg will even bring Billy with him!

Estimated delivery:Jun 2012

You selected

Pledge $3,000 or more

0 backers
Limited (1 left of 1)

PRIMITIVES SPECIAL — Lou Reed, pre-VU, Pickwick City vinyl 45. Signed by Lou Reed. Letter of authenticity by Gregg.

Estimated delivery:Jun 2012

Funding period

Jan 9, 2012 - Feb 23, 2012
(45 days)

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