I am a recovering know it all. As a voracious reader and observer of human behavior, I collect information on what makes relationships work or fail, how to take better care of myself, how to clean a house better, and a long list of how to do anything better. I can't turn it off. It is like a sickness. I read books on birth order and personalities, super foods, improving marriage, raising children, designing rooms, how to prepare for doomsday, how to dress for my body type, how to talk to my significant other, improving my love life, and so on.I have taught classes on some of these things, especially the many tools for understanding ourselves and others and making the best of marriage. I don't have much formal training, but up until 2010, I thought I understood how people basically function, and what motivates most behaviors.Life Lesson 1: Get grounded by asking yourself "What do I know for certain right now?" I think that others thought I had my stuff together up until recently too. Then I did the unthinkable, I separated from and went through divorce with my husband of over 26 years.

What I have learned in the last couple of years is that I don't know near as much I thought I did about other people. People did not react in the ways I thought they would. Almost everyone in my life thought I had lost my mind.After seasons of great personal loss and failure in some ways, I had to once again look in the mirror and ask myself "what do I know for certain?" Here is the clincher, the foundation of thought on the future. What do we really know? I know myself, I am still here, I am not starving, and even though we don't always understand each other, I have friends and family. I have a God who cares for me and I know he hears me when I talk to him.Asking and answering this question is a way of grounding myself and expressing gratitude at the same time for what is true and right about my life. Asking the question "what do I know" and answering it, eliminates wasting time and energy dealing with anything that has already been solved or anything I don't have control over. For example, recently I started seeing someone and was questioning everything about it. Is this the right person? Are we a good fit? Can I trust him? And realizing I was obsessing, I asked myself "what do I know?" I know he is a good guy, because he has acted in a gentlemanly manner towards me, pays his bills, and has a good relationship with his child. I know I can trust myself to remove myself from any situation which is unhealthy, because I have done it before. I know that we are just seeing each other, so obsessing about what has not come is not productive. The decision to see him is already made and we have not done anything catastrophic to our lives yet, so slow down. When I think about it in a logical way, I immediately feel more grounded. I breathe easier and move forward.

Stopping and getting my feet on the ground takes the pressure off by allowing some things to work themselves out. To get out of my head by simply going on "what I know" has been a great life lesson. It makes my life an act of daily faith and depersonalizes many issues. Instead of obsessing over what might happen, I simply state what I know, (which is much less these days and simpler). It is a way of living in the moment and not ruining today with fears of what might happen tomorrow.

Once grounded, then I can pray, which is how I let go of something. I can pray until I feel better and in this way give to God the things I don't know. I don't know how this situation will work out, but what I do know is that God is in control and that I have prayed about it. I know that in the past similar situations have usually worked out. I know God has my best interest at heart. I know he is a loving God. I know I have prayed and that I cannot walk through my life with obsessive worry, because that worry is a roadblock. I know I am capable and strong. I know I have friends and family to back me up and I know that the sun has risen every day for over 4 decades and tomorrow will more than likely come.

Asking "what do I know" daily opens up the door for some good old fashioned gratitude. I know I have food to eat and a house to live in. I can walk and talk and have the use of my mind. That no matter what, I have God in my life, so I will always have someone to talk to. All will be well. The biggest "what do I know" is a scripture to live by, "Be still and know that I am God."Livin' gluten free and fabulous,KimYou might also enjoy: Wisdom from the porch about purpose