Limiting Beliefs

The path of least resistance and least trouble is a mental rut already made. It requires troublesome work to undertake the alteration of old beliefs. John Dewey

Last week I wrote about our expectations of others and how those expectations can block our vitality and aliveness. This week I will discuss a second obstacle: our limiting and conflicting beliefs about ourselves.

We have many levels of knowing about ourselves. Some things we know and recite with ease: I am kind, generous, a hard worker, etc. Other beliefs are deeper, hidden, harder to know and difficult to look at. I am reminded of a story my friend Ginny Robertson tells about how in the course of a daylong workshop, a woman attendee said in one moment that her greatest desire was for a husband and family. A few hours later this same woman stated something to the effect of “all men are pigs.” Until the group pointed out her in congruent thinking, the woman did not see how her belief about men would forever prevent her from having what she said she wanted!

The woman in the story, while her statements dramatically illustrate the point, is all of us. We each have our own personal versions of conflicting beliefs. What can we do free ourselves from our history? We can be open to knowing more about what our versions of the limiting belief story are. By listening to what others tell us and listening inward to our inner discomfort, we can learn more about what we deeply believe and how those deep, ingrained beliefs that we don’t even recognize are holding us back.

This is not easy, nor is it a quick fix. Dismantling limiting beliefs is one of the greatest benefits of psychotherapy and one of the best ways to live into your fullness of life and be your most vital self. As you do this inner work, you free yourself and in your freedom, everyone benefits.

Next week I will share a technique to help you take in and hold the good that comes your way.