Tag Archives: soccer

There are a lot of irritating things about sports. The fans (looking at you ‘Bama, Jets, Yankees enthusiasts), the commercials (looking at you FLO FROM PROGRESSIVE), the $11 beers, cheapskate owners (OBVIOUSLY LOOKING AT YOU JEFF LORIA), pompous players with an outsize opinion of themselves. But almost all of these sports-related aggravations are off-the-field matters. The games themselves are for the most part, beautiful.

There is however one dastardly phenomenon that continues to sully the good name of sports everywhere. It is an increasingly alarming problem that must be stopped, lest we anger the gods of athletics and sportsmanship to their breaking point; leaving them no choice but to destroy us all (or to leave us only with NASCAR as punishment).

We’ve received feedback from people named Frank who are upset over the lack of respect given to their noble name these days. Sadly, the “Frank Crisis” is only part of a larger (disturbing) phenomenon of workmanlike, unassuming, boring-yet-perfectly-serviceable names vanishing from our increasingly fancy modern planet.

Franks of the world, we have heard your cries and share your concern for this growing trend of giving babies whimsical names that mean something in Icelandic or whatever.

Though it seems to have fallen on hard times, Frank is a great name. (When’s the last time you met a baby named Frank, Fred, Big Al or Rupert?) So in an effort to bring some cache back to Frank, let us jog each other’s memories with a list of Franks who are/were awesome. Continue reading →

First let me begin by saying how much I respect the good people of Scotland. So hardy, independent, red-haired and good humored… That said, let the drinking jokes and Groundskeeper Willie references commence.