Viewer Mail #21: ATTN: Potential employers

A fictional character from Burbank, California writes:

Dear Conlan,

I’m wondering about some TV shows. It doesn’t really matter which ones, but for the sake of argument, let’s say, Veronica Mars and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What happened in the thirteenth episode of the second season of Veronica Mars? And what was that “Buffy” show about?

Sincerely,
MJF

Great questions.

Veronica Mars was probably my favorite hour-long TV series of the last five years (or more). Here’s my four-sentence synopsis of episode 2.13, “Ain’t No Magic Mountain High Enough”:

High school carnivals always bring out the delinquents, and Neptune is no exception. When all the cash for the senior trip goes missing on Veronica’s watch, it’s up to her to get it back, bring the guilty to justice, and clear her good name (OK, maybe “good” is overstating it). But nothing in Neptune is ever black or white, and by the time this heist is solved, everyone will be wearing gunmetal Ray-Bans. Shades of gray all over the place. Guest starring: cotton candy and a cross-dressing hooker.

And here’s the premise for Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

“High school is hell”? Aren’t we being a bit melodramatic? In fact, Sunnydale High is just sitting directly above the opening to hell. There’s a big difference. Sure, there are vampires running amok, trying to destroy the world, but that’s not all. Werewolves, giant insects, infomercial health gurus, power-tripping principals… They’re all here, and they must be stopped. That’s where Buffy comes in. And she’ll have a little help, too.

We know what you’re thinking: “Who would name their daughter ‘Buffy’? It’s so unbelievable, I can’t take the rest of the show seriously.” To which we say: Relax, dude. It’s just a TV show. Sometimes they aren’t 100% realistic. Sometimes you have to allow a little poetic license. Take a deep breath. We’ll get through this together.