She's only just come up for air, but Blue Ivy has already caused her very first storm of controversy after a man claims Beyoncé's security team were acting like a bunch of dicks and wouldn't let him into Lenox Hill Hospital's NICU to see his premature twin daughters. "Three times they stopped me from entering or exiting the NICU and it happened once on Friday - just because they wanted to use the hallway," said Neil Coulon. "These are children with problems in intensive care and you're just going to take over the hospital like you own it? All I want is an apology … Nobody cares if you're a celebrity. Nobody is star-gazing. They just want to see their children." The hired goons also kicked Coulon's relatives out of the waiting room because it was down the hall from the wing Beyoncé allegedly paid $1.3 million to use. "Some people were upset," said a staffer. "I heard a gentleman say he couldn't go upstairs to see his baby." [NYDN]Solange says that despite all of that nastiness, her niece is pretty awesome. [Mirror]
It's also considerably better news for Boston-area event planning company Blue Ivy, who just got a shitload of free press. [TMZ]Blue Ivy has her own non-foetal Twitter account. Confused? So am I. [NYDN]

Christina Aguilera has faced her fair share of fat jibes – hello, Kelly Osbourne – but she says the haters can suck it because she's just fine with the way she looks, thanks very much. "You can never be too perfect, too thin, too curvy, voluptuous, this, that. I've been on all sides of the spectrum as far as any female in this business," she said. "As long as I'm happy in my own skin, that's all I need. I'm happy with where I'm at. I have a boyfriend that loves my body. I love my body. My son is healthy and happy. That's all that matters." [US]

Kelly Osbourne has dredged up her fat spat with Christina Aguilera yet again. After criticizing…
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Public slut-shaming is getting a sassy makeover with the introduction of new Fashion Police segment "The Slut Cut". "We've discovered that a lot of these woman are taking dresses that are one length on the runway and literally hacking them off and making them short, so we're doing a thing called The Slut Cut," says executive producer Melissa Rivers. Though I can't wait to hear your take on it down in the comments, let me unclutch my pearls for a minute and give Joan Rivers a slow clap for her take on further developments for season two. "It's a great season," she said. "I die at the end." she said. [E!]

Following her father's anti-Semitic sermon and general rants about her divorce, Katy Perry wants y'all to know that no one speaks for Katy Perry except for Katy Perry. "Concerning the gossip, I want to be clear that NO ONE speaks for me," she wrote. "Not a blog, magazine, 'close sources' or my family." Cut to close sources defriending her on Facebook. [NYDN]

Because apparently Katy Perry's life doesn't have enough of a magnifying glass on it…
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If you thought birthing a child who grew up to be ridiculously wealthy would solve your money woes forever you'd be dead wrong — just ask Scarlett Johansson's mom, Melanie, who is battling to get a down payment returned for the house she can no longer afford. Her lawyers say that their client's financial troubles all boil down to the fact that ScarJo fired her mother as manager in 2009 after 17 years in favor of in favor of power agent Rick Yorn. "Once I got married, I felt that I needed to cut the cord," Scarlett said last month. [Page Six]