Yeah. He's gotta job in front of da department store, ringing this bell
And playing this tambourine next to this black pot, y'know?

Aw, I've seen the dude, man!

Yeah! You know who I'm talking about, man!

Cheech and Chong, when their novelty song "Santa Claus and His Old Lady" came out in December 1971, weren't talking about Abilene's Starbucks Santa.

But mention him today and the reaction is the same: "I've seen the dude!"

Whether he's mobile on his two-wheeled sleigh or parked in his favorite corner at the Starbucks on South 14th Street, you can't miss the guy in the flowing white hair, bountiful beard and wire-rimmed glasses.

Yes, folks — kids with wide eyes, in particular — passing by on the street will holler, "Hey Santa Claus!" or "Where're your reindeer?" or "It's not December!"

Greg Jaklewicz(Photo: Thomas Metthe)

James Perkins doesn't mind.

"Nothing wrong with it," he said.

About two or so years ago he chose to let his hair grow and launch a beard. Not to look like Santa —or Gandalf with glasses — but because he wanted to.

"I just never had grown my hair out long and I figured I'd try it," he said.

Asked his age, he asked, "Do I have to tell?"

Safe guess is ageless. Or 60-ish.

"Close enough," he said.

Hey, Santa
Hey, Santa... Santa
I wish with all my might

Finding Santa in Abilene provides an opportunity to get answers to a lot of questions.

Where does he live the rest of the year? Farther south, apparently.

Who did he vote for in 2016? Well, after voting in the Democratic primary for Bernie Sanders, who, too, has a good shock of white hair, and promised Americans lots of presents, James went for Jill Stein in the fall. Of course! The man in the red suit would choose the Green Party candidate.

Even Starbucks Santa has to leave his sleigh - his bike - outside the coffee shop.(Photo: Greg Jaklewicz/Reporter-News)

How does he get around, minus snow? On a bike.

How does he pay for all those toys and reindeer feed? He's a day trader.

There's no telling when a Starbucks Santa sighting will occur. He said he has made himself at home at each location in Abilene but South 14th Street is like that cheerfully famous bar in Boston. Everyone here knows his name.

He meets with a half-dozen or more guys also interested in stock trading. They also have a monthly Sunday morning meeting at the Natural Food Center, a few pedal turns down the street. The idea is to learn more about software that provides tools for day traders, and to share ideas.

What he does "workdays" is check in with what's going on in the stock world in the morning, then plans his day accordingly.

He tries to buy bargains and sell at a profit. It's a common game plan but the trick is being successful. That's why studying trends is important.

One day last week, he made a sweet $300 profit trading a stock. Not just any stock, but a Canadian marijuana stock.

Yes, Cheech and Chong would be proud.

"I don't use it," he said.

Starbucks Santa may not light up, but this was a stock transaction that, well, didn't go up in smoke.

He is more regularly interested in energy stocks, particularly geothermal.

Clean, renewable energy ... of course.

Rick Armstrong, left, and Gary Peterson, right, meet James Perkins at the Starbucks on South 14th Street to talk about what is going on in the stock market.(Photo: Greg Jaklewicz/Reporter-News)

And there's BioSolar, which is "developing super battery technology," according to its website. Batteries with a longer life, more storage capacity and cheaper. Less batteries to go in the landfill.

"Eco-friendly," he said.

Eat, Papa, eat!

Not many know this but Santa — well, at least Starbucks Santa — is not from the North Pole, but from Roby.

There once was a Mrs. Claus, he said. In fact, more than one. But none at the present.

I know ... sad.

That may be why James Perkins also is known as "Skinny Santa."

He prefers decaf tea and coffee at Starbucks. Ask about James, and the baristas know exactly which James.

"I tell them I do have a second home," he said, chuckling.

It makes sense that he hangs out at Starbucks, besides the free wi-fi. While there are more shelves than elves, he's a people person and Starbucks usually is full of jolly, caffeinated souls.

“I just never had grown my hair out long and I figured I'd try it.”

James Perkins, also known as Starbucks Santa

His previous job was parking lot attendant at Cooper High School. He also ran a Christian bookstore, Praise Mart on Butternut. He also worked at Ab-Tex Beverage.

Back a few years, he was in the Navy for 14 years.

I know. You'd think Air Force, but that's just one night a year.

In the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a winter wonderland

When you see James at Starbucks, he's most often holding a small tablet.

When it's not stocks, he's researching climate change. Not surprising that someone who looks like Santa would be interested in melting ice.

James is quick with the sites and facts that support climate change. He'll show graphs from reliable sites, such as NASA and NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration), that cite rising CO2 levels and rising sea levels, especially since 1950.

"I study a lot of science," he said. "The way man is affecting the planet. I check things like that."

And you just thought he was making a list, and checking it ... well, daily.

James Perkins checks out sites that keep him updated on climate change and other issues affecting the planet.(Photo: Greg Jaklewicz/Reporter-News)

Although Starbucks Santa may be associated with a land colored in tones of blue and lives in a red state, he is not a fan of the current two-party system, he said.

Talk about naughty and not nice.

"It's not doing good for the country. We need to get away from it," he said. "I like the independents."

And there it is. Spoken like the man who travels alone across the world.

So, if you're past leaving milk and cookies for Santa, next year consider a gift card to Starbucks or maybe beard balm.