Monday, December 25, 2017

Slim, pretty, equipped with her Prada bag, my son's girlfriend was in my
home for a grand total of twenty-four hours. Shortly before the day ended, she
informed my son she did not feel "comfortable" in my house...

I was terrified by recent research suggesting mothers are more likely to be
estranged from their children than fathers and that it is more common than you
think. One in 10 families studied had an estranged child. Another study concluded that feeling like a parent is constantly
about to reject you for your choices creates enough emotional turmoil to
threaten the relationship.

Sunday, October 29, 2017

The running community is awesome.
You make friends training, racing, or out for a casual jog. We’re all equal. If
you can keep up with the group, you’re in. Age, ethnicity, and gender are irrelevant.

Or so I thought.

Not long ago, I ran a 10K — far from my first.
The race was a combined 5K and 10K. If you’ve never run one of those, as you
might guess, there’s a point at which the 5K and 10K groups divide.

As I approached the split, the specter of ageism first appeared.

I could see and hear — despite my no doubt
rapidly declining faculties — a guy yelling out the split: 5Ks to the
left, 10Ks to the right. He repeated 5K slightly more insistently and pointed
left as I approached. Hmm.

Then I got closer, and, since my cognitive
abilities are still relatively intact, or at least I like to think so, I was
already on the right. And another guy actually repeated, more loudly as I got
to the split, "5K, 5K, 5K!" urgent gesticulation left, urgent
gesticulation left, urgent gesticulation left.

Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I’m pretty sure he was convinced I
looked too old for the 10K.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Life is not a bowl of cherries…it's more like the box of
chocolates Forrest Gump's mother told him about…you never know what you're
going to get.

Those chocolates you'd rather not be eating, they're what
drive people to therapy. When I consider the issues people often bring to
therapy…coping with a loss, a personal failure, an empty nest, a divorce…it
seems like some bounce back much more quickly than others. What's the magic
ingredient?

A new theory of adaptability suggests that diversifying your personal
portfolio is a sustainable method of boosting your resilience to the ups and
downs of life.

Do you know how your investment portfolio is supposed to be
diversified? You have stocks, bonds, mutual funds, property and the like, some
riskier than others. While you probably won't get rich quick, you will avoid
taking a hard fall that totally wipes you out. A diversified portfolio makes
your financial well-being more resilient to the ups and downs of the market.

There is evidence that expanding the number of roles,
relationships and experiences in your life provides a kind of personal
diversification that increases emotional resilience, that ability to bounce
back, along with happiness and self-esteem.

Saturday, August 26, 2017

There are have been a lot of famous bromances throughout history.
Explorers Lewis and Clark. Presidents Adams and Jefferson. Authors J.R.R.
Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. President Obama and VP Biden. And, of course, a bromance
for the ages: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.

But don’t laugh at or make light of the bromance!Because
research shows that relationships — friendships included — are
among the most important factors contributing to happiness and longevity. Yes, your (or
your man’s) bromance might just help him live longer!

We expect our friends to be available for
activities, to reach out to us and to stay in touch, and I’m sorry to say that
men are often not so good with reaching out and staying in touch
— behaviors that nurture relationships.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Women tell me all the time how they want to slow
down and take time out from their busy lives to chill, but they can't.

They tell me there's way too much to do to keep
things going in their world, and no one else to do it.

Besides, they tell me, taking time for myself is selfish.

They tell me doing stuff for the kids, partner,
parents, grandparents, friends, dogs, cats, is more important than me-time.

When they do make time for exercise, yoga, painting
or a class, they feel guilty. Isn't cooking and freezing meals for the next
decade, helping kids with their homework and vacuuming dog hair for the
umpteenth time this week more important than self-improvement?

When they sit and read, take a walk or meditate for
30 minutes they wonder if they're being lazy. What about the cabinets to be
cleaned, the extra work they could be doing at their job or preparing the
gourmet meal their partner would be thrilled with?

The oxygen-on-the-plane metaphor is something I
often invoke. Everyone understands that if you can't breathe you can't help
your 4-year-old breathe. Think of taking a little time for solitude as something
to help you breathe.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

There are have been a lot of famous bromances throughout history. Explorers
Lewis and Clark. Presidents Adams and Jefferson. Authors J.R.R. Tolkien and
C.S. Lewis. President Obama and VP Biden. And, of course, a bromance for the
ages: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.

But
don't laugh at or make light of the bromance!Because
research shows that relationships — friendships included — are among the
most important factors contributing to happiness and longevity. Yes, your (or your man's)
bromance might just help him live longer!