CYBERSPACE, London, Thursday — If anyone still cares, the PlayStation 3 will finally go on sale across Europe on 23 March, and will cost a ridiculous £425 (€599) for the 60GB model. Sony has said that one million of the consoles will be made available at launch in Europe, with hopes that anyone will remember they exist.

The Nintendo Wii, which, apart from costing half as much, is actually fun, went on sale in November 2006. Over 700,000 were sold across Europe in December alone. The PlayStation 3 was originally due to be released in Spring 2006, but a problem with the copy protection on Blu-Ray discs not screwing the customer over enough pushed back the launch.

Sony said the decision was made because Europe was logistically the most complex market for distribution. Also, nobody cared any more. "Sony felt it was better to delay in one market rather than risk failure in three markets and ending up disappointing everybody,"Phil Harrison, head of hollow apologies at Sony Computer Entertainment Europe, said at the time. So they just want to make sure the failure goes absolutely right, then.

The console had spectacular launches in Japan and America, with tens of fans in both areas queuing through the night to get their hands on the console, particularly with their Sony employee discount. The machines sold at only half the price on eBay soon after.

Buying a PS3 also gives owners free access to the online PlayStation Geeknet where they can meet and take on other gamers. This is expected to be as popular in Europe as the Zune has been anywhere. For the European launch, Sony has said that 4 titles will be available, but even they couldn't work up the enthusiasm to list them.

Microsoft jumped up and down waving their hands and saying the XBox 360 was out and undeniably pretty darn good, but everyone was laughing and flinging faeces at them and shouting "HERE! HAVE A ZUNE!" and making jokes about how the gravitational pull of Vista's huge arse would pull the moon out of its orbit.