T.C. Hirsch brought into the 50 Grit fold

By Moses Lake

A fan's guide to 50 Grit's drummers:

Although 50 Grit hasn't failed to hold on to the world's attention (see "50 Grit nominated
for every Grammy award ever" in PopCircles Apr. 2003), they have not had such good luck holding
on to drummers. The latest to take the drum throne is the Teutonically handsome T.C. Hirsch.
His drumming has brought new life to the bands live shows and recording. But, for those of
you keeping track, here's the line-up of 50 Grit drummers.

G. Rick DeChurch

Previous bands: Sore Jackson, the Kristen Barry band.

Known for: Rick was 50 Grit's first drummer, known for his straightforward, sometimes
Neanderthalic drumming.

Currently: Since marriage, DeChurch has taken on a secluded lifestyle, and devotes
much of his attention to smoking tobackie.

Tommy Lee

Previous bands: Mötley Crüe.

Known for: Tommy Lee shocked everyone with his sensitive approach to 50 Grit's roots
rock sound when he filled in for their pan-Asian tour. Also shocking was his refusal
to remain clothed for an entire concert, which led to his dismissal.

Currently: working in video.

Lance Crowder

Previous bands: Bazooka Jesus, The Spooky Drifters.

Known for: suspected connections to the international mafia and rogue government elements.
Also known for his unorthodox, unpredictable drumming style.

Currently: whereabouts unknown.

Mick Shrimpton

Previous bands: Spinal Tap.

Known for: cringing every time he hit his own cymbals.
50 Grit recruited Shrimpton for their Ukraine tour, hoping to
bring him back into the world of rock after his bizarre spontaneous combustion
15 years earlier. Unfortunately, Shrimpton's nerves weren't up to the task,
and he deserted the band in Prague.

Currently: convalescing in Squatney, U.K.

T.C. Hirsch

Previous bands: The Duke Ellington Orchestra, Infernal Contraption.

Known for: reciting Beowulf in its entirety during sound checks. T.C. is the newest
member of 50 Grit, but bonded quickly with the band, joining them for a take-on-all-comers
brawl in a Ballard area pub. Asked about the incident, Hirsch responded, "Now we are truly
brothers. Yar!"