I am having a hard time figuring out what to do..i get all the pans foods growing and a house build..What mod or tech should i start for cause there is no quest book or anything to guide you through some of the begining stuff!

There really isn't a step-by-step book to this game; by design, it is a sandbox game with some gated progression. The key mod to focus on once you have iron would be RotaryCraft; most mods are dependent on RoC's power generation to work, and that mod has a huge amount of ways to automate your production.

Some quick tips, however: flint tools have the longest durability until you reach the ability to mine quartz; it never hurts to keep a flint pickaxe for stone, and a flint axe for wood. The WAILA tooltip will tell you if your tool can harvest the ore in front of you (if it's red, it can't, but will tell you what can). Use of the crucible and ingot mold will provide alloying and simple ore doubling using the vanilla furnace until you have the RotaryCraft grinder.

Not really; I use MultiMC for manual pack design, but public modpack distribution is too bulky and static for my liking.

The main reason I choose ATLauncher is that modpacks distributed that way can be custom-installed by the player, which is important, because most of the mods in Survival Industry are optional; you are presented a large checklist of mods you can choose to enable or disable (with a lot of defaults enabled).

With ATLauncher, the player can have a pretty minimal experience if they want it, or can go full-overblown without running into mod conflicts. They can also add a bunch of stuff to make things easier, or they can crank up the hardcore. All of this from the installer; no manual tweaking required.

Additionally, upgrading mods in the pack is as simple as uploading that specific mod; MultiMC and several others will require that I re-zip and re-upload the whole modpack when I just want to update, for example, OpenComputers.