5 Reasons Your Online Friends Don’t Like You

Considering Americans spend a collective total of about 160 million hours per month instant messaging, you need to make sure your online manners are just as good as your table ones… Beware of being one of the below!

How good is your online etiquette?

1- You’re a downer

you: hi…

your friend: heyo.

you: i’m really depressed.

your friend: um, why?

you: well, my boss yelled at me because i wouldn’t take my headphones off, but i was listening to this really get-up-and-go jam by the vaselines and it was really impelling me to get up and go, but he didn’t get that.

you: also my cat died this morning, but he’s somewhere in the wall because he climbed in there last week so i can only tell by the smell.

you: also, that girl i had been seeing isn’t returning my calls because the same cat peed all over her new silk dress.

you: actually, since he’s dead, do you think that would be reason enough to call her again?

your friend: brb

2- You’re dull

you: hey.

your friend: hi!

you: what’s up?

your friend: ehh, not much. my boss just spilled coffee all over his shirt and yelled, “fudge!” it was pretty funny. who says, “fudge!’ after age 7?

your friend: dude, seriously. not everyone is an unemployed freelance writer who spends most of his day crying, eating cereal out of the box and reading The Daily What. respect, dude, respect.

you: harsh, man. just for that, i’m not showing you this naked lady that looks like homer simpson.

your friend: wait…

4- You’re always invisible

you: hi.

your friend: oh, dude. i thought you weren’t online.

you: i’m hiding from some people. what’s up?

your friend: well, i’ve been e-mailing you for like the last hour about that project. are you done yet? seriously, man, we need to turn it in TOMORROW and you haven’t done anything yet. can you send me what you have???