Asked by reporters yesterday if he accepts the scientific consensus that greenhouse gas emissions contribute to global warming, John Boehner demurred on the curious but increasingly familiar grounds that he is not a scientist. “Listen, I’m not qualified to debate the science over climate change,” the House Speaker said. Boehner immediately turned the question to the killing of jobs that would result from any proposal to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, which he asserts with unwavering certainty. (On this question, Boehner is not held back by the fact that he is also not an economist.)

Limerick Ode To John Boehner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John Boehner, it seems, knows the score;
He’ll be kicked by his “team” out the door
Should he ever concede
What folks know (if they read)
That our climate is changing full-bore.

“The President is trying to make it tough on members of Congress. It’s just silly. I want to know who is being laid off at the White House. The Capitol is open for tours. We’ve been planning for this for months.”

Perhaps Boehner should have spent those months planning to avoid sequestration.

(Note that the transcript originally read “It’s just sick.” Then at some point, “sick” was changed to “silly.” Since I don’t have access to the audio, I don’t know which one is accurate.)

Touring Boehner’s Brain (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To save cash, White House tours are curtailed,
But the House tours have NOT been derailed.
So you still can have fun
Seeing nothing get done
On the Hill, watching nonsense unveiled.

But even if we didn’t have that smoking gun slide show, the GOP’s attempt to label it “Obama’s sequester” wouldn’t pass the straight-face test. Here’s Andrew Sullivan making that powerful point:

…I simply cannot see how a political party that has branded itself in favor of drastic spending cuts can somehow win a public debate in which they are now apparently opposing drastic spending cuts, and “blaming” them on Obama. And their branding means that the slow government shutdown we will almost certainly now face will surely stick more to them than to Obama.

Sequestration Blame Game (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What’s the key to the GOP brand?
Budget cuts that our land can’t withstand.
So it’s laughably lame
That they’re trying to claim
The sequester’s Obama’s scheme grand.

Not only does Mitt Romney have a bad habit of flip-flopping on issues, but he appears afraid to pick a position on the key issue of the day — the debt ceiling. Does he embrace John Boehner’s debt ceiling plan? Nobody knows (except maybe Mitt’s hairdresser) because Romney refuses to commit:

Limerick Ode To Timid Mitt Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Romney, it’s time to take heed:
The job of a leader’s to lead.
So for once be a man:
Do you back Boehner’s plan?
Not choosing’s a cowardly deed.

House Republicans plan to pay former Solicitor General Paul Clement and his legal team from King & Spaulding as much as $500,000 of taxpayer money to uphold the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) on behalf of House of Representatives…

… Boehner has been running around for months, falsely claiming, “We’re broke.” It’s how he justifies proposed cuts in critical areas like education, medical research, infrastructure, job training, and homeland security, even if it makes the jobs crisis much worse.