Video Tutorial Guy: Now, replacing a tile is a simple task, as long as the substrate beneath the tile isn't rotted. (Homer looks below the tile and finds a rotten substrate) If there is rot in your substrate, we will now play loud music so you can curse. (a loud song plays)

Homer: Stupid floor! Why was I born a homeowner!?

Bart: I can't die now! I actually did my homework!

Homer: Sorry cat! Had to go to work, then there was a freeway chase on the news, had to watch it till the end. The guy got arrested in a cul-de-sac! They never do what I yell at them to do!

(Lisa is sneaking into Bart's bedroom, but Homer enters with a stethoscope and a tuna can looking for Snowball V inside the walls)

Homer: Lisa? Just what do you think you're up to? (Lisa turns her back to him and moans) Come on, you can tell Dr. Tuna.

Lisa: Okay, I admit it! I think Bart's up to something funny, so I'm snooping in his room!

Homer: No snooping! You know what they say about curiosity.

Lisa: It killed the cat?

Homer: The cat's fine! Stop asking about the cat!

Lisa: No Hettie, you're a human being! You can sleep in my closet.

Hettie: Hmm... Well, ladida... How much you charge?

Lisa: Nothing. Maybe we can talk a little music.

Hettie: (annoyed) Ugh. (to Bart) Boy, what's your price again?

Lisa: Okay, we'll only talk about it if you want to!! But it would be an honor.

Hettie: I mean, they would ask me to. They would They'd say "Hettie, come over here, pick up a banjo and play a song with us." And, um... I don't know. I'd say, "No, I'm happy just to sit down by the creek and... do my heroin." You know?

Lisa: (shocked) Wait! What?

Mountain Trax Presenter: Is it also true you've been discovered by, and then turned your back on well-meaning supporters time and time again? (Bart holds an "I was right" sign to Lisa)

Hettie: Uh... yes, yeah, that is a pattern I adhere to, and do you have any OxyContin? Now, if you got some you don't have to say yes, you just got to blink!

Mountain Trax Presenter: Maybe we should take a break. For the record, I'm not blinking.

Hettie: He's holding, he just won't share.

Lisa: (shocked) No no, Hettie, please tell me that you're rehabilitated. Please tell me that you're talking about heroin so that no one else will follow in your footsteps! Please reassure me because I am frightened!

Hettie: Oh baby girl, I wouldn't let you down. You and me, we get each other, yeah? (starts scratching herself) But if I don't get something sweet, I might shoot someone in the face.

Lisa: (gasps) Are you saying that you shot your parents in the face!?

Hettie: I don't know! That's not really the kind of thing you remember, you know what I mean? All right, I'm gonna go now bye! (leaves)

Bart: Lis, if she shoots your face off tomorrow, just remember this is what it looks like. (takes a picture of Lisa's face and shows her)