Dr. Grumpy: "I do them, I just don't do them in the office. I don't have the space or equipment."

Dr. Doesntrefertome: "This lady is SICK, dammit! You need to get a tray and do one. TODAY!"

Dr. Grumpy: "Then she needs to go to ER. If she really has meningitis, this is an emergency. She needs urgent evaluation and treatment. Send her to local ER. I can consult on her there. But this sort of thing shouldn't be worked up in the office."

And while you're at it, why don't you do your own gram stain too, and start empiric IV antibiotics while you fetch those results. And why not thrown in a little HSV PCR while you're at it. Wait, what? You don't have the equipment to do that in your office? What kind of neurologist are you, anyway?

You sound quite incompetent. If I were to go to a neurologist who didn't work in a hospital (in UK, so neurologists are in hospitals anyway) then I would expect them to be able to do MRIs in their office, never mind something as simple as a spinal tap. I think you should reconsider your office policy in future. No wonder he never refers to you.

WTF was that doctor doing not sending her to the ER? To put it mildly, that's not how I'd want my doctor to practice. To put it less mildly, but still avoiding the M word, I'm sure there's a happy lawyer out there reading this. Hopefully (for *her* sake), not a soon to be rich one.

OK, so I have no medical background or training at all (nor do I want any), but the tenor of these comments suggest that doing a spinal tap in the office is tantamount to doing brain surgery at Wendy's. If my inference is correct, why is Dr. Doesntrefertome so reluctant to send his patient to the ER since he should know that he will not find a competent doctor willing to do one in an office?

Did Dr. Jerkball have a good reason for not wanting to send the patient to the ER? Seems like it should have been a no-brainer, especially since I imagine he'd have to spend a medically injudicious amount of time trying to find a neurologist a) set up for office spinal taps and b) with a convenient immediate schedule opening for a new patient!!

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

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