Antoine Dodson Won't Go Away

It's come to this, America. You made such a big deal about Antoine Dodson fighting off bed-intruders and rapists in Lincoln Park, that he's now shilling for a "sex offender tracker app" for iPhones and Androids. His appearance on this commercial actually negates the good will behind the very idea of a sex offender app.

They made this spot with such aplomb that it looks vaguely like a deodorant commercial. We wanted Dodson to put the phone under his armpit. Somewhere in middle America (or Brooklyn), there's a meme factory making people like Dodson. Hell, he probably has a shitty indie-funk band somewhere. He's not real, he's a Halloween costume at Urban Outfitters.