i got a terrible memory when it comes to these things, i sometimes find something incredibly funny and make a mind note of remembering, but i then on the next morning ive forgot

"The only things known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Weedle. He reasoned like this: you can't have more than one king, and tradition demands that there is no gap between kings, so when a king dies the succession must therefore pass to the heir instantaneously. Presumably, he said, there must be some elementary particles -- kingons, or possibly queons -- that do this job, but of course succession sometimes fails if, in mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon. His ambitious plans to use his discovery to send messages, involving the careful torturing of a small king in order to modulate the signal, were never fully expanded because, at that point, the bar closed."

i stumbled over this the other day... haha, reminds me of physics in school

People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. *And so the children of the revolution were faced with the age old problem: it wasnt that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people*.

The real revolutionaries are silent men with poker-player eyes and probably don't know or care if you exist. You've got the shirt and the haircut and the sash and you know all the songs, but you're no urban guerrilla. You're an urban dreamer. You turn over rubbish bins and scrawl on walls in the name of The People, who'd clip you round the ear if they found you doing it. But you /believe/

Ohh, this is like chocolates - I can't just have one! I can't remember a lot so I had to raid quote websites and pick my favourite from those.

"In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded."

"An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on"

"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! "

Twankydillo wrote:"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! "

"There were no public health laws in Ankh-Morpork. It would be like installing smoke detectors in Hell."

It would be a pretty good bet that the gods of a world like this probably do not play chess and indeed this is the case. In fact no gods anywhere play chess. They haven't got the imagination. Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religions is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.

I don´t know about my favourite quote, because there is so huge amount of them...but if I should point out my favourite piece of any DW book, it would definitely be the piece from Hogfather where the wizards are discussing their awful experience with Hogswatch - approx. the bit from 'Well, he's for kids, isn't he?' said the Dean. 'But I'm sure they all believe in him. I certainly did. It wouldn't be Hogswatch when I was a kid without a pillowcase hanging by the fire—' to 'Oh dear,' said Ridcully. 'Then perhaps there isn't a Hogfather if all you chaps are sitting around with long faces.'

Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8:21
But he comes home each evening and he’s ready with his gun