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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

MIND GAMES: Losing Weight is a Mind F***

* The page
that you are on right now (www.halfofgabby.blogspot.com) is no longer posting
new articles and information. Half of Gabby has moved to www.halfofgabby.com
and will continue to post new material regularly! In addition, all older
articles have been updated on the new site!

~~~

Losing Weight is a Mental Challenge, NOT a Physical OneQuit waiting to start your diet on Monday, or after a holiday, or after your birthday, or whatever else kind of shit you're telling yourself.

Okay, here's the deal... you can't go on a diet. Diets are bunk. They don't work. 'Going on a diet' implies a temporary change; one involving drastically cutting calories, eating bland food, and putting yourself through dreaded torture.

You need to change....period. Change the way you eat...forever. And before you roll your eyes or look at that statement as an impossibility, it really isn't as hard as you think. Honest.

Most 'diets' entail eating too little. You must NOT drastically reduce calories. You must still eat enough to sustain all of your bodily functions. Secondly, you do not need to eat bland foods. Eating healthy can incorporate almost any type of food (within reason) into your food plan. Eating healthy can be delicious, filling, and very satisfying. (For a more detailed guide to eating, check out my article "What Should You Be Eating?"

Secondly, what is the point in putting off another day or another week?? You are only digging the hole deeper.

And let's be perfectly honest here, Monday ain't ever coming. I had that same mentality, so you can't bullshit a bullshitter.

For 10 years I said, 'I'll start on Monday so let me just go ahead and get all my eating in this weekend'. And guess what? In those 10 years, Monday NEVER friggin' came. And all those weekends I gorged because it was my last chance to eat that way...well, is it any wonder I hit 262 pounds? Quit lying to yourself. It gets you nowhere. Actually it does...it gets you fat and permanently glued to your couch.

This is just a small snippet of the dangerous mind games we play in light of our health. We convince ourselves of things we know are not true. We look in the mirror and do not see what others see. This is how our mind protects us from what we don't want to see, what we don't want to face. This is a coping mechanism. One that actually tricks our eyes so that we cannot visually see what we have done to ourselves. Think it can't happen? Think again. The mind is much more powerful than most people realize. And we humans absolutely love to justify our actions. Ah...justification, that wonderful phenomenon that let's us convince ourselves we can do whatever we want. We justify all our binging and laziness by saying things like "I don't have time to exercise" or "I deserve to eat what I want, I work hard and do everything else right, this is my reward to myself". Really???

Let me tell you something. There is no such thing as 'I don't have time.' I said that shit too, I believed it. I thought it was an iron clad excuse. It's bullshit. Do you have time to get sick? Do you have time to get fatter and even more depressed? Do you have time to waste your life being unhappy?

There is ALWAYS time to exercise and eat right. I don't care how early you get up or how late you get home.

There is ALWAYS time. You find the time. And if you can't find the time, you make the time. I can't tell you how many times I got up at 4:00am (and still do) because there was just no other time during the day that I could fit it in. I'm not saying you have to get up at 4:00am, but if that's the only time you can log some sweat time and you want it bad enough, you'll do it. If you want something bad enough, you do anything it takes to succeed.

Do you find time to watch a tv show, to tinker around on FaceBook, to surf the web, or to read the paper? You don't need to find hours of extra time. We're talking 15 minutes to start. You can't find 15 minutes? You know you can. Period. Of course, you will want to increase that time after a few weeks, but start small and build up. By then you will have established somewhat of a pattern and it won't seem like such a big deal to add 10 or 15 more minutes.

Your mind is the key to everything. Your mind is what holds you back...

But it's also the one thing that can save you.

Destiny and fate are for the backseat drivers of the world. Take the wheel and make your own destiny. Drive yourself to where you want to be.

Any destination is possible, but ONLY if you call the shots. The only people who want to hear your excuses are the people who are making them for themselves as well. Misery loves company. But it's lowly company to keep.

"Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses", George Washington Carver

If you think I'm being rough on ya, believe me it is not my intention. But I know what's up and I know an excuse when I hear one. And believe me, I was more rough on myself than I could ever be on anyone else. I beat myself up for over 10 years, calling myself a disgusting fat cow and a miserable failure, both outloud and to myself. I felt like a failure, a worthless failure that couldn't even find the strength to put a friggin' cookie down. It was a slippery slope and the lower I felt, the lower I fell.

I'd find myself eating the worst possible crap just to eat it, I barely even tasted it and when I did, it didn't even taste worth the misery and guilt it left behind.

I honestly never thought that once I found success and reached my goal, I would have this deep passion for helping people. This drive I have, this want for everybody to feel like I do, it's compelling. I think one of the reasons is because I know how low I was. I know truly and unequivocally how much of a tortured soul I was over my obesity and self-induced poor health. It was a mountain so big and so ominous, I felt as if there was no way around it or over it. But with putting one day at a time and climbing that damn mountain one step at a time, I did it. I climbed that mutha and planted my flag. And I know you hear the cliche "If I can do it, you can do it" all the time but honest to God, that's how I feel.

A friend of mine jokes around with me and says I'm building a 'New World Order' by creating all these bad ass women who are empowered by getting strong and healthy. Women who not only rule over their own bodies, but the world they live in. I think my passion also stems from the true realization deep inside me that you really CAN do anything you put your mind to.

For the first time in my life, I believe that 100%. I have all these amazing, wonderful women in my life and it kills me to see them unhappy because of how they look and feel. I feel like it's my right, my duty, and my priviledge to show them the way to happiness and health. I always say to them, I can't climb the mountain for you, I'm just showing you which one to tackle.

One of the girls in my Sexy Bitches Workout Group (SBWG), in 4 short weeks, has lost 14 pounds and almost 10 inches! Her pants literally fall off of her. When she talks about it, she beams. Truly beams. Her eyes twinkle with excitement and she looks like she is soaring. She looks beautiful. I can't tell you how wondrous that makes me feel. I can't get enough of it! And she isn't the only success story, the rest of the girls in the group are kicking ass and taking names too.

So in order to lose weight, you obviously have to eat properly AND exercise, but it is the mind that propels you to make those changes.

If you can change how you think, you can change anything. It's not easy. Our minds are usually set, for better or for worse. But IT IS possible... and your future, your health, and your happiness depend on it.

Don't wait 'to be ready' to lose weight.

There is no such thing.

Just remember, if you do something long enough, it becomes a routine. Why do you think you have been stuck in the habits that have caused you to become so unhealthy in the first place? Well...you started those routines and after a while they stuck. Unstick them by introducing new habits. And remember, a fail proof way to succeed is to...

FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT!

You don't have to be ready. Just go through the motions and take it step by step.

Your mind will get with the program. Some studies show that the body will get used to a new activity or food plan (on a physical level) within 1 month's time. However, the mind, in relation to making it a true routine habit, can take up to 2 months or more to get on board. Obviously everyone is different but my point is, do it and do it religiously... and sooner or later, body AND mind will work with you instead of against you. I don't care if you hate and dread every minute of it, do it anyway. It won't be so daunting for long.

One day it will all click in place.

All of a sudden, the lights will turn on and you'll be shocked at how easy it is to live healthy and how much you WANT to. You will crave healthy food and you will look forward to exercising. I know it seems crazy, but I promise, if you stay the course long enough, IT WILL HAPPEN.

I still marvel at how when I'm super stressed or upset about something, the first thing I want to do is work out. I swear to you, this is as crazy to me as it is to you! Never in my life would I have ever believed for even a split second that I would want to 'sweat out' my aggression.

In the past, a giant glass of milk and a sleeve (or two) of Oreos did the trick. I don't look at food that way anymore...as a medication. I used to self-medicate with comfort foods. And in general, I looked at food as a pleasure and a reward. It's not that, and it NEVER should be. Food is your fuel, it is a requirement.

If you look at food as a drug, you will surely overdose...over and over again.

I'm not saying there isn't a time and place to enjoy less-than-healthy food, but that is the exception rather than the rule. And as I mentioned earlier, healthy food and meals can be just as delicious and scrumptious as any other food. There is no need to live for your next meal. Your relationship with food needs to change. You don't need to have a wild love affair with food. You need to have an accommodating relationship with food. One where you use it to feed your body essential nutrients and in return you receive strength, energy, and an overall good feeling.

And remember... even though it may take a while for body and mind to get with it or it may take a while to start dropping mad weight, it doesn't take long at all to start feeling good. If you eat healthy, you feel good. Much like if all you eat is fast food and sugary foods everyday, you feel sluggish and run down.

Start today. Just force yourself to go through the motions. Before you know it, it will be a way of life and it won't seem so horrible of a chore anymore. Be your own hero and save yourself. Small steps is all it takes.

Anyone can do this.

~~~

"Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind.", Unknown.~~~

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CRAZY IS ALL IN A DAY'S WORK

My whole lifeI have been described as crazy and funny by other people. And I don't mean crazy as in truly certifiably crazy, I mean more as in I say what comes to my mind . I think a big part of the reason people think I'm funny is because I say what everyone else is thinking. People who don't know me are sometimes taken aback by my candidness and those who know me try to be prepared, but are still often left shaking their heads. My Hubs is famous for shaking his head at me. He'll try to say he's grossed out or shocked but he secretly loves it. It's part of my charm and why he fell in love with me ;)

I would not describe myself as crazy. But we all catch the crazies every once in a while, fo sho. But I do say what's on my mind and I do have a fondness for dirty words.

I do love to laugh though, so it's a good thing I married a funny man. I grew up with a big italian family with wicked funny humor. My father's side was more the dirty, foul mouthed humor and my mother's side was more the witty, clever humor. Either way, it was all freakin' hilarious, so I had to catch the funnies...it's in my blood. I love spending time with people who enjoy getting their own smile on. A night of hanging with family and friends and laughing until my stomach hurts is my perfect kind of evening.

It's not all funny business though, I try hard to be a good person and work hard on bettering myself all the time. I hope to have the privilege of living a long life and I hope to die being the very best version of myself. One of my biggest goals in this life is to inspire and empower other women to start their own journeys. Weight loss journeys really aren't about losing weight at all. They're about gaining life. It's amazing how health and fitness serves as a portal into a world where you learn to love and respect yourself. A world where you see your beauty, the true beauty that lives inside of you and makes you who you really are.

I've been through my share of shit(as has everybody) and have had to endure days that will not soon be forgotten. My past is what attributed to me becoming a therapist. I believe that being happy isn't having a life void of problems, but is being a person who knows how to deal with the problems. Trials and tribulations are a part of life, it's a fact...shit happens....so you gotta learn how to forge through it. And life at any moment can turn your world upside down. So I consider any day that my family is happy and healthy, well, that's a great day...and something to be so very, very grateful for.

My wish is to create a badass army of empowered women.This is the main reason I created my blog, Half of Gabby. I realized if I could learn to conquer my obesity and all the demons that caused it, I could maybe, just maybe, inspire other women to do the same. It saddens me to watch women keep their heads down, constantly pull at their clothes out of self-consciousness, and put themselves last in all areas of their life. I used to do that, all of it. When I see these women, I feel their heavy sadness because I too once felt it. I know how hard it is to lift that weight off of your shoulders. But I also know it's possible because I did it. And if I can do it, anybody can do it. So that's why I'm here... to build an army. An army of badass women who know their worth and see how beautiful they are, BEFORE and after they hit goal weight.

It's time to stare your fear down, go after your dreams, and start thinking and acting like the badass that you are.

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