a figment of reality's imagination

Alasdair Thompson; a sacrificial lamb in search of the truth?

In light of the sacking of Alasdair Thompson by the Employers’ & Manufacturers Association today, it got me to thinking about his radical (nay, prophetic?) views on woman’s productivity in the work place, seemingly hampered by the cycle of the moon, or whatever it is, and it occurred to me that he maybe was right, or at least, didn’t tell the whole story. Maybe he did, but the reporter (female of course!) may have edited some of the story out to get the reaction desired, and the other side of the coin was discarded.

The ill-informed reaction...

There is a strain, symptom, condition if you will existing amongst us more devastating than the menstrual cycle that cripples the other half of the population and it is a blight on our society and financial productivity – the dreaded Man Flu. I have The point I want to make here is that while his comments were unfounded, and more than a little naive, Alasdair has cunningly pointed out that we men have been forgotten and are shamed when we are afflicted by this debilitating condition.

I did some online homework about the two, and while it is a coincidence that one affects each of the sexes, it is the lack of Government funding, support, and financial assistance out there to allow one to strive for recognition and acceptance of something that has been scorned and heaped upon us like mounds of shame. Well shame to you, ladies, for having us feel inferior to our plight, for not acknowledging the problem, and embracing it and accepting it as part of the natural and genetic make up of the male species.

In my search using the search word “menstrual” I was bombarded with terminology and phrases, jargon and even slang links covering a multitude of fact, work and teaching sheets, sources, support, coffee groups, and such for all the world to see and celebrate. BUT…

A comparative, and completely unbiased search on “man flu” had the complete opposite result. In fact that source to beat all sources, Wikipedia, even classed Man Flu as a pejorative term and went so far to insinuate that we men exaggerate our claims of sickness levels. Well, I never!!! Another termed it that we present it as life-threatening…OK, next time you are confronted by an 18-wheeler running through your head while bucketloads of snot stream from your nostrils like hydro-dams being opened, and in worse case scenarios you end up pissing out the wrong hole, don’t turn to me for any sympathy!

I also looked to the ACC website, but could find no financial assistance to assist us through such troubling times (which was OK really, as I didn’t find any for periods either), and a quick read through my Health & Life policies also revealed nothing. This is concerning to say the least, and I think we should rise up as one and show those in Parliament, and CEOs and Directors that we too need comforting and understanding, and maybe some time off in front of the Sky Sports Channel with 2 Minute Noodles, a stack of porn on the bedside table will do us good. I think three or four days off will suffice?

But this aside, there is hope. In weeding out the unnecessary, discarding the useless, and dismissing the blatantly sexist, I found this excerpt from an Australian scientific study (so you know it must be right);

Australian researchers found that female volunteers had a “much stronger immune response” to rhinoviruses — the bugs that usually cause the common cold — than men. The protection vanished after the menopause, suggesting it was regulated by female sex hormones. This would help explain why men are much more likely to fall ill when they get infected. The findings should come as some comfort to those men who feel falsely accused of having a bout of “man ‘flu” when they are, in fact, suffering for real.

Further to this I found comfort in a website designed for us men to look after ourselves when the inevitable reaction from women and the uncaring will occur, and offers tips to the fairer sex in ensuring that this “potentially life threatening illness” can be diagnosed, treated, and extinguished quickly and effectively by appropriate means (I was pleased to note they also recommend reading material, even if it is of a lighter nature than I would personally accept – shit, if I’m going out, I’m going out with a smile on my face and an erection that will require a specially designed coffin!).

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So act now. Call me now and pledge your support, let us man-hug and embrace, and fight this discriminatory, cynically viewed, menstrually-induced perception and rise up as one and fight the oppressors who dare keep our “man-issues” hidden and confined to the annals of urban-mythology…

But not now…I need a nap, and I hope I awake from it. If not, please tell the kids I love them, and make sure Justin doesn’t take my porn stash. Where’s the tissues? No! Not them, the Aloe Vera ones?