Ever since I started my instagram account, I’ve had many conversations with moms about eating challenges! Food aversions, food obsessions, weird habits, you name it. I’ve heard so many moms dismiss their struggles with comments like, “Oh, the doctor said he’ll just grow out of it!” “I just need to keep offering it to her and eventually she’ll love it!” “I was told I wasn’t trying hard enough.” “I was accused of not feeding my child as often as I should,” and so on and so forth.

There are so many reasons for kids having food aversions and obsessions: sensory processing disorder, addiction to processed food/sugar, an unidentified food allergy or intolerance, a vitamin or mineral deficiency, gut flora imbalance/over population of bad bacteria, etc. But I’m skipping over those, for now, and addressing the hidden and repeatedly misdiagnosed culprit that’s caused multiple issues for both my kids – tongue ties.

I had NO IDEA how huge of an effect they can have on eating. Heck, a year ago I hardly knew what they were. PLEASE, please don’t hit the X on this tab, thinking you know for a fact your child isn’t tied. Even if a professional has examined and told you your kid isn’t tied, humor me and read this post.

Does your child gag and choke on food often?

Do they chew and spit their food out?

Do they pocket food in their cheeks or lips?

Do they prefer purees or very soft cooked food?

Do you have a difficult time getting them to eat things of certain textures/consistencies?

Do they have an aversion to solids/eating in general?

Will they only eat small amounts of food at a time before wanting to be done?

Are they failure to thrive?

If you answered yes to even just one of these questions, please read on.

This is a post I’ve been planning to write for months now. It’s one of those parenting experiences that brought so much stress, questioning, and doubting. It required a lot of research, asking around, and pestering our doctor before getting answers. And it’s also left me wondering how many parents are unknowingly dealing with this problem as well.

What is a Tongue Tie?

I used to have a vague idea that tongue ties were a thin piece of skin that connected/tied down the tip of the tongue to the floor of the mouth. When I worked as a preschool teacher, I had one girl in particular who’s tongue tie was so bad and her parents refused to treat it that she had a huge fork in the tip of her tongue and couldn’t pronounce ANYTHING. She could only make garbled noises; It was very severe. And that’s what stuck in my head when I thought about tongue ties.

But here’s what I’ve since learned – there are FOUR classes of tongue tie and being tied at or near the tip of the tongue is only 2 of them. The majority of doctors and pediatricians are not properly trained on the subject, if they’re even taught about them at all, and if they know anything about ties will usually only know about class 1 and class 2. These ties are pretty obvious, if you know what you’re looking for and how to properly examine a baby for ties. A class 3 tongue tie [which both my kids had and I believe I have too] is a tie at the back of the tongue where the frenulum is visible. A class 4 tie is at the back of the tongue where the frenulum is under the skin of the tongue and not visible. EDIT: Check out my most recent post on ties – Visual Indicators of Tongue and Lip Ties to see an extensive list of visual clues and photographs to help you better understand what you’re looking at in your child’s mouth!

Here is a visual for each type of tie:

Why Does it Matter?

If my child can move their tongue around surely it’s not that big of a deal, right? Wrong.

If your child is tied, it can be a very big deal. The problem is that you can have 10 kids that are tongue tied and they can each be having different symptoms or combinations of symptoms. Even children that have the same “class” of tie can compensate for them differently. Emery and Cooper have the exact same ties – Emery refused to nurse but could chew and swallow any solid foods efficiently. Cooper was a nursing champ but couldn’t chew and swallow most solids to save his life.

I’m not going to get into how ties affect nursing. If you want to read Cooper’s Lip Tie story and how it effected nursing, you can find it HERE. There are tons of amazing articles I’m linking to below that cover how ties effect nursing wonderfully – there’s no need for me to rewrite the same thing. It’s sufficient for me to say that if you’re dealing with one or more of the following you could benefit greatly from reading the links below:

Thrush for mom or baby

Falling asleep while nursing

Pain while nursing

Frequent feedings

Baby falls off the breast while nursing

Baby is gassy, colicky, and/or spits up

Has shallow latch

Clicking sound when nursing

Inability to drain you of milk/breasts still feel full after nursing

Early weaning

Easily distracted while nursing

Waking frequently at night to nurse

Low milk supply

Over active let down

Excessive milk supply

Mastitis

Lip blisters

Cupping of the tongue when crying

And/or cracked/blistered/bleeding nipples

If one or more of these apply to you, please check out the following links:

Maybe you gave up nursing and bottle fed, thinking you had a supply problem or baby was just too distracted to nurse. Or maybe nursing went completely fine but all the sudden you’re faced with problems now that you’re trying to feed your little one solids. Maybe everyone around you is telling you it’s normal and they’ll just grow out of it. Or they’re telling you that kids are just picky, keep on trying mama! Sometimes I wonder if what well-meaning friends and even doctors label as normal is just a massive oversight of a widespread problem that needs addressing.

Let me explain.

Let’s address each symptom one by one:

DOES YOUR CHILD GAG AND CHOKE ON FOOD OFTEN?

When the frenulum is causing restriction, your child doesn’t have the ability to properly move their tongue to safely swallow certain foods. They frequently, if not always, gag and choke as the food moves back into their throat, past the point of what their tongue can control. No matter which “class” of tie your child has, a tie restricts the ability for the tongue to properly move UP. [I often have moms tell me, “My child can stick their tongue out so they’re definitely not tied.” Many tongue tied children can move their tongues out, it’s moving it up that’s the problem. For class 1 and 2 ties, the whole tongue can’t fully move up. For class 3 and 4, it’s just the back of the tongue that can’t move up, making it less obvious that there’s a problem.]

So try this out for me – go get a bite of food. Chew it up and try to swallow it WITHOUT lifting the back of your tongue up. Can you do it without choking? I can’t! I can’t really swallow, period.

Also important to note – the severity of the restriction or the way your child is compensating for their tie will enable them to swallow some types of foods and not others, depending on the consistency, leading some parents and doctors to blame their behavior on pickiness, not chewing their food well enough, or having a strong gag reflex.

DOES YOUR CHILD CHEW AND SPIT FOOD OUT?

I think this is the least common one I’ve come across, but it’s the one we happened to deal with. When introducing foods to Cooper, we initially used an approach called Baby Led Weaning but he quickly learned that he couldn’t swallow solids without choking [see previous section for more info.] The baffling part for me was that he wanted food SO BAD. He would scream at me until I would give him whatever I was eating – he wanted to eat anything and everything but he would never swallow. It seemed like the biggest waste of food – he would put it in his mouth, chew a few times, and spit it out. Put it in his mouth, chew a few times, and spit it out. Watermelon was his favorite food because he could get so much juice out of it without swallowing the solid pieces. Meal time was so, so messy! Once I discovered he was tongue tied, I realized this was a defense mechanism. He knew it wasn’t safe for him to swallow, no matter how much he loved what he was chewing.

DOES YOUR CHILD POCKET FOOD IN THEIR CHEEKS AND BEHIND THEIR LIPS?

Cooper did this as well, but not as often. The reasoning behind it is the same as above – they know they can’t safely swallow so they store it in their cheeks. Some kids also have a hard time moving their tongue forward to spit the food out and resort to this. Cooper will actually still pocket food occasionally if he needs CST/body work done and is out of line.

DO THEY PREFER PUREES OR VERY SOFT COOKED FOOD? DO YOU HAVE A DIFFICULT TIME GETTING THEM TO EAT CERTAIN TEXTURES/CONSISTENCIES?

Like I said earlier, every kid compensates for their ties differently. While some kids may not be able to swallow anything without difficulty, some children only struggle with certain things. Cooper could handle smoothies, purees, root veggies [peeled and boiled for a minimum of 20 minutes], and, surprisingly, meat. Some kids only eat yogurt and applesauce. Going back to the first symptom section, if you were to try to swallow foods without lifting the back of your tongue while swallowing, certain textures and consistencies are naturally going to be able to go down the throat easier than others.

This will often be misunderstood as pickiness or a sensory processing disorder.

DO THEY HAVE AN AVERSION TO SOLIDS/EATING IN GENERAL?

It’s common for a child who has choked or gagged on food to have an aversion to eating that particular food, other foods of similar consistency, or even all foods. They often remember what they ate and how it made them feel and have no desire to feel that way again.

This is often mistaken for pickiness, small appetite, or being too distracted/ too busy with other things to want to eat.

DOES YOUR CHILD ONLY EAT SMALL AMOUNTS OF FOOD AT A TIME BEFORE WANTING TO BE DONE/EAT SMALL AMOUNTS FREQUENTLY?

Another aspect of tongue ties is the strain it puts on the jaw, neck, head, and shoulders. The tie not only keeps the tongue down, but it also pulls the jaw into a position that prevents you from being able to relax it properly, causing frequent tension and jaw fatigue. Tongue tie symptoms in adults revolve around this – TMJ, frequent headaches/migraines, jaw tension, neck tension, jaw clenching, sleep apneas, etc.

But for children, this is manifest by:

Eating small portions

Eating more frequently

Having a difficult time chewing harder foods [that require chewing for longer periods] like raw carrots or large pieces of tough meat

And/or swallowing bites before they’re well chewed [which also often leads to choking].

I vividly remember, as a kid, wanting to be done with my meals before I was full because my jaw HURT. It felt tight and uncomfortable and I often stopped eating when I wanted to eat more, just because I didn’t like how I felt. I would still be sitting at the table long after my parents were done because I didn’t want to keep chewing. Or I would, and still do, swallow my food after only chewing a few times, to enable myself to be able to eat until I was full without my jaw getting sore. I’ve created many stomach aches this way!

This cluster of symptoms can often be blamed on a small appetite, the parent’s lack of discipline in forcing their children to finish their plate, the parent’s being too lax about snacks between meals which causes them to not be hungry enough for meal time.

ARE THEY DROPPING ON THE WEIGHT CHARTS OR FAILURE TO THRIVE?

This is not an uncommon result of tongue tie in babies and children – if your child is tied and unable to eat properly they likely aren’t getting the nutrients they need, especially if they’re no longer nursing and over the age of 1. However, not all children fall into this category.

My Child Deals with One or More of These Issues,

What Do I Do Now?

First, take a peek for yourself, just to get an idea of what’s going on. Here’s a link on How to Examine a Baby for Tongue or Lip Tie and this link will give you a visual and description on what you’re looking for. I recommend doing this with someone there to help you. We got by a window for good sun light and Andrew snapped pictures so we could examine the photos afterward [it’s almost impossible to get a good look easily, so we knew we would only have a few quick seconds.] I layed cooper down on the floor with his head at my crotch, between my legs, and his feet toward my feet. I pinned his arms under each of my legs to keep him still, and pried my fingers under, according to the instructions in the link above.

Second, find the preferred provider [tongue and lip tie experts] closest to you. It’s important to understand the risk of going to just any doctor, pediatrician, dentist, or ENT. The majority of professionals have not been trained on ties. Many parents see “expert” after “expert” after “expert” and never get the help they need. They will either say:

The child is not tied

The child is tied but it’s not that bad

The child is tied but it’s not the cause of the problems

The child is tied and they can fix it, but they don’t understand how to do a complete release and the problem isn’t solved

The child is tied and they can fix it, but they completely botch it. [I’ve seen photos of a lip tie lasering where the professional lasered into the lip above the tie and didn’t even touch the actual tie.]

The child is tied, they can fix it and do a quality job, but they don’t teach you about after care, which can result in reattachment or not enabling the tongue to fully function even if there is some improvement.

Many patients who do not see a preferred provider the first time often go through the procedures a second time after later seeking out a preferred provider to get proper care. This not only causes unnecessary pain for the child but unnecessarily wastes several hundred dollars that only needed to be spent once to get the procedure done correctly.

Also, this facebook group was very helpful to me to ask questions of other moms and professionals. There’s a “Files” tab with additional helpful information!

Seriously. Could this get any cuter?

Yes, he got revised in his PJs. I figure if you’re gonna get lasered, you might as well be comfy ;-)

Please know this post is not an exhaustive collection of information regarding ties. I wish I could fit it all in but I worry I would overwhelm people! [That, and I don’t know allllll the things!] If you want me to elaborate on something or have a question I didn’t address, please please please post it in the comments, ask me through instagram, or contact me through here.

It is my hope that this will be eye opening to even just one mom. I cannot convey to you the depth of my shock and relief when I realized many problems we’d encountered were due to overlooked/misdiagnosed lip and tongue ties. I’ve turned into that annoying mom that tells every person who hints at a symptom that their child could be tied. And I honestly don’t care if everyone thinks I’m crazy – if just one mom experiences the victory this information brought to our lives, I will be elated. Being a parent is hard enough without the stress of overlooked and misdiagnosed problems.

If you know of anyone who could benefit from this post, please share. If you have any additional questions or would like something clarified, please ask. I want you to get the answers you need so you and your family can thrive!

Related

67 Comments

Chelsie M.January 29, 2015 @ 8:34 pm

Such an informative post- thank you! I have thought my toddler was tongue tied since he was a baby but our pediatrician said he wasn’t. I wish I would have got a second opinion because he had so many of the symptoms. He now eats solids well and is a very happy little guy, but im just wondering if you or anyone else can think of any long term effects that it could have if he does in fact have tongue tie and it goes untreated?

Absolutely! Not everyone deals with it, but typically the symptoms in older kids/adults show themselves as speech impediments, frequent headaches/migraines, jaw tension, TMJ, neck and shoulder tension/pain, sleep apneas, jaw clenching, etc. Also, I didn’t get into it here, but untreated lip ties have been connected with tooth decay on the front 4 teeth because food and liquid get pocketed in the tie, on the teeth, and slowly rot the teeth. Not everyone has a lip tie with the tongue tie, but many do! I would keep an eye on symptoms and see if you notice/he talks about anything bothering him!

Also, I should add that the doctor and lactation consultants all said she was not tongue tied and I should bot get the surgery and they were all wrong! I read your post on a Sunday and had the laser surgery that Friday!! Still working on her swallowing a month later with OT and scheduled a swallow study, but still our baby is a million times better after reading your post!!! Thank you again a million times over!!! I also called the hospital to let the lactation nurses know and hopefully raise some awareness!!

Amber I can’t thank you enough for writing this post. My son was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder and Autism and his eating struggles keep getting blamed on these things. We have been to SOOO many feeding specialists and therapists. I have tried explaining to them all that my son does all of the things Cooper used to do and they usually say nothing or “hmm”. I just keep telling them it’s more than just texture issues it has to be! He gags when he tries to swallow solids and he physically can not do it. They say nothing to me. When my son was 3 months old a midwife told me he was tongue tied and gave me a bunch of resources to wor on it and honestly I blew her off because I thought my son breastfeeds like a champ there’s no way he’s tongue tied. I was told while I was pregnant that tongue ties mean they won’t be able to breastfeed. Oh my gosh I’m just so thankful for you and all of the time you put into your posts. I don’t think I’ve said it before but they are so incredibly helpful to our family, my son is also very allergic to many things. Thank you thank you thank you thank you. Hopefully we can finally find someone to help our son and hopefully it’s the answer we are looking for.

oh my goodness, you make me want to cry. I’m having flashbacks to all the feelings I had when I finally realized his tie was the problem – I was so emotional and felt a ton of relief. I’m planning to do a follow up post about his specific story/our journey but I will tell you – for 3 days after revision he wanted nothing to do with solids, while he was healing, but literally the very first time he wanted solids again, he ate EVERYTHING i gave him. I cried. Not only did he swallow his precious watermelon for the first time [tons and tons and tons of it!], he ate things like tough asparagus spears. I was floored! How old is your son? I hope there’s a provider near you! Let me know if you have anymore questions!

I can only imagine! That must have felt amazing. I cant even imagine watching my son eat food! Im so glad that helped to eliminate one eating hurdle for your little boy. It looks like there are 2 providers near us who I will be contacting Monday. My son just turned 2 in October.

Oh my goodness Amber, how much you could have just changed our lives! We went to a provider on the list in our area and Bently definitely has at least a class 2 lip tie if not worse and most likely a tongue tie. He couldn’t check the tongue yet because Bently is extremely orally defensive and he didn’t want to traumatized him so he’ll just check when he’s under for the lip. Surgery scheduled March 3rd! I heard this quote from Maya Angelou yesterday and it made me think of you, “When you learn teach, when you get give.” You may have heard it, but I think it’s very fitting. This surely won’t be a cure all for us but with my son’s eating and speech delays he certainly doesn’t need any physical anomalies to deal with. Thank you so much for sharing your story and all your stories!

this makes me so happy heather, i’m so so glad you’re getting answers! Will he revise them both at the same time if he’s tongue tied? I’m so excited for progress in these areas for you – it was a long stressful road for us and every little bit of improvement was so refreshing! I’m working on a post on what to do if you don’t see improvement after revision – emery didn’t need anything afterward but cooper needed extra help to get his body to realize it was capable of functioning differently. His jaw was so used to being in that position, he didn’t know how to relax it without CST. Hopefully it will help you feel more prepared going into it!

Well done! One of the best articles that I’ve read on TT! My children both have lip ties – if they do have TT it’s level 4 but not bothering them. LT made it hard to latch and nurse initially but we got it figured out before I knew what the problem was. Before conceiving my third, I did some poking around and I joined that FB group too and learned that folic acid is a suspected contributor to the increase in LT and TT of any kinds. Try to find a prenatal that has folate instead of folic acid – it’s very hard!!! I’m also convinced poor guy health on both parents behalf (especially the mother), is a contributing factor too. Sooo…we shall find out in 10 weeks if my changes have made any difference!!!

thank you soooo much for the complement – i’m seriously floored you would say that, thank you! I haven’t come across anything elaborate about ties and eating…I feel like so much is centered around breast feeding, I really wanted people to understand that it’s much more than that! I’ve heard that about folic acid too, but I actually hardly took my prenatal vitamins [like maybe 2-3x/month?]! I’m curious if a tiny bit can effect it that much!? I haven’t fully researched it but I’ve also heard the MTHFR gene mutation is connected to ties, folic acid, and gluten intolerance, which both my kids have, but I haven’t dug into that yet! It’s next on my list to aggressively research! I hope this next baby is tie free for your whole family’s sake!!

Thank you for your article. I’ve never heard of this before but will definitely check into further for my son. Do children with tied tongues always have speech impediments or delayed development in speech? My son has feeding disorders and was diagnonsed as failure to thrive, he is three years old and has had a Gtube since he was year old. However, his speech is excellent for his age and he is very articulate.

Curious about trying to diagnose an older child. Most of the links point to babies trying to nurse. I have an 8 year old who was IV/tube fed for the first several months of his life–I wasn’t allowed to even try nursing till he was 2 weeks old, and he never did nurse well. I was always told that it was because he’d had tubes in his mouth from the start and he was doing great for all that. Now he has big problems chewing/swallowing/gagging on “tough” foods (even the membranes from mandarin oranges!). He’s had extensive dental work because of pocketing his food in his cheeks when he was a toddler. He’s very thin, and has always been since we weaned him from the feeding tube. I’ve always just chalked it all up to his NICU stay and subsequent lack of muscular development in his jaw, but now you have me questioning my theory….

So sorry I’m just now getting back to you! Did you check the link to see if you have a preferred provider in your area? A few ways to look for visible clues, 1) Does he get an indention in the tip of his tongue when he sticks it out? [doesn’t always happen, so if there isn’t one I still wouldn’t rule it out] 2 – if he opens his mouth as wide as possible, can he touch the roof of his mouth with his tongue? 3- Did his two middle bottom teeth grow in with a “V” shape, pointing toward his tongue? 4 – Do you have any photos of him crying as a baby, where you can see his tongue? This is a very good indicator – if you look at the shape of the tongue and it’s cupped [the sides are raised higher than the middle, like all 4 photos of the ties above show] there is restriction. I hope this helps! Let me know if you think of anything else!

Thank you for this article! I answered yes to every symptom question and my son’s eating issues have always been attributed to something else! I’m going to push now to have more help from our doctors about this.

Amber thank you so much for this post! My son has been going to an occupational therapist for his speech and chewing issues and his speech has improved but his chewing hasn’t changed at ALL! He is 2 and is just getting the last of his molars so I was hoping that would help his chewing but nothing so far. I was looking for ways to help him at home when I stumbled upon your post. We are two hours away from the nearest preferred specialist and I don’t really want to go that far just to find out he doesn’t have tongue tie. Do I need to just start calling offices in my area and asking questions to see if there is anyone who is knowledgeable about tongue ties or how can I find someone closer? I think he has a type 3 tongue tie from looking at him myself but my two daughters and I look the same and we have never had tongue tie symptoms that we know of, so I don’t know if I’m looking at us wrong or if it’s really that common but doesn’t always affect people? Or maybe it’s genetic? Anyway. Any thoughts would be so appreciated!

First, I would hop on the Tongue Tie Facebook Support Group I linked to above and ask them if there is a Tongue Tie Group for your state. A lot of people have created local groups for that purpose! If there is a group, I would ask there, if not I would personally call the one 2 hours away and just talk to them over the phone about it and see what they think. I know Dr Kotlow in New York will chat with parents who email quality photos of their children’s ties to talk about symptoms and explain what they’re looking at under the tongue. Also, a good indicator – have you looked under his upper lip to see if there’s a lip tie? It’s not typical for a child with a lip tie to NOT have a tongue tie, and the LT is way easier to check and and ID. Or if you have any baby pictures of him crying – does his tongue cup? As in the sides of the tongue higher than than the tip of the tongue? [for an example, see the photo above of the class 4 tie] You could just call around to professionals in your area but I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have researched it to the point that you feel you can dialog about it with a professional so you know if they’re actually fully educated on the topic. I just told a friend, you could also ask to see photos of their work – if they released the tie properly the wound will have a diamond shape [for a visual, see the last photo in this link http://static1.squarespace.com/static/52ee7826e4b07fbe8885e2ab/t/5334e5abe4b033999bd8801e/1395975595800/Rethinking_TT_Anatomy.pdf Feel free to email me through my contact page if you want to chat more!

Ok, I just googled why child keeps choking on food and found your page. A lot of what you say in first paragraph we can relate too, storing food in cheeks, gagging, choking, prefers mashed food etc the latest choking episode was yesterday and we got terrible fright. We always put it down to him not chewing his food properly but after reading I’m starting to wonder! the first thing I’ll be doing in the morning is checking his mouth. (1.50Am here now so he Is asleep)

Still none the wiser really. From the front his tongue looks fine but when I lay him flat I can’t tell if he can raise the back of his tongue because be blocks the view with the front of his tongue if that makes sense. Trying to figure out where to go from here

You should be able to tell by the way his tongue looks when he’s crying. If it cups when he cries, like the 4 examples above that show the sides raised higher than the tip of the tongue, there’s restriction

Hi, thank god I read this and thanks to you for writing it in such detail. I am from India and my son is 11 months old. There are a few symptoms my son is showing like – he keeps the food in his mouth for 2 sec and then just takes his tongue out so the food falls, and he is just borderline on his weight, feeding him is a task, eats in intervals and not in 1 sitting. He is always interests I drinking formula than eating.
when my son was born the doc told me that he has a tongue tie but it’s towards the back. So I guess he has class 3 tie. She said it would detach itself or we need to perform a procedure.
I wanted to ask you, is the procedure for treating the tie a major operation or its min one? What are the risks of it doesn’t go well? And how much time does it take to heal?

I’m so thankful you found this helpful! First off, the tie will not detach itself, that’s a common misunderstanding. The procedure is not major – it only takes a few minutes and as long as you are going with a qualified provider the risks are small. I’m not a professional so I’m not familiar with the potential risks, but in my 2 years of reading testimonies and websites of professionals, the only risks I’ve come across have been unqualified professionals not lasering deep enough, not lasering in the correct spot, the tie reattaching, or in one very rare case the baby had a condition where his blood couldn’t clot. He was only a few weeks old and had never had a scrape or bled before so they didn’t know about it. The baby was treated afterward at a hospital and was fine. As for length of time for healing, it can take a week or two, however ties can reattach months later. I’m working with a body work professional to explain the necessary post revision care, but here’s link explaining the two post operation scenarios: http://www.happykansasfaces.com/blog/tether-berg-or-tether-floe I need to follow up with her – she’s adding her professional opinion to a post a wrote, before I publish it, and as soon as I receive it back I”ll post it here!

you definitely can! i think it all goes back to symptoms and whether or not you want to alleviate them. I’m hoping to get my tie released eventually because i struggle with TMJ; head, neck, and shoulder tension; jaw fatigue, etc. and would love to not deal with it anymore. It gets worse in stressful situations! There are some adults that have shared their experiences on the Tongue Tie Baby Support Group on Facebook – you could ask for some testimonials on there as well!

My son is turning 4 ,he has had tongue tie and lip tie removal last year he’s also had his tonsils and adenoids removed due to choking frequently when he’d eat and other issues such as snoring,etc. Post surgery he still has issues eating and I’m so lost as to why..he kind of gags on his food occasionally and has trouble chewing,has anybody else had this issue? I’m so nervous when he eats and am scared that theres no solution,he starts school next year idk what to do.

Thanks, I just googled “why two year old always gags when eating” and got to your post. I know he’s tongue tied – badly – already (diagnosed but said to not cause a problem) but that explains things. It just occurred to us the other day. He does not like eating period, but is thriving because we feed him.

I have a grandchild who is going through the same thing at this age she is 2 and she was diagnose with some of this and that her mom is very exhausted from the doctors visits my grandchild sees every doctor who’s letter is in the alphabet they did realize the young tied problem and cut it but they told my daughter that they cut to much I know that my grandchild and will not be a gastro tube feeder for the rest of her life not an option so if there is any other information you can share and I would greatly appreciate it so my daughter can make suggestions to the doctors with her daughter visit my daughter is now in community college taking up ocupational therapy to learn more and help her child. My gmail is vdydell890@gmail.com

I just want to say thank you for this amazing article! it has brought light upon our TT journey, because of this article I will be looking for a new dr to do my sons release, the one who we are currently seeing is refusing to do the tie till he is over a year, saying his choking gagging and vomiting after medicine or food has nothing to do with his TT. That we have to do Occupational therapy before they even do a tt release, and I that I am completely wrong about all these issues being from his TT. thank you again.

This is a public service blog entry! Especially because you write about older children. I suspect this is what interfered with my 9 year old’s eating once upon a time. Any thoughts about a one year old who can’t be trained not to bite while nursing? I think this could be related to ties.

Thank you so much. Your post finally came up when I was doing another desperate search for answers as to why my toddler grandson was not chewing and eating. His symptoms practically matched your whole checklist.
Following your links, finding help on Facebook support groups, led us to having 4 ties released. He had an upper lip tie, sub mucosal posterior tongue tie, & 2 buccal ties.
His pediatrician & lactation consultant either missed these completely or didn’t consider them worth mentioning. His speech language pathologist was stumped.
Now he’s enjoying freedom from gagging and choking and so excited to actually begin to enjoy solids instead of constantly having to protect himself from foods we were constantly urging him to eat.
We now often hear “so good”, “yummy”, and a toddler version of “delicious”. He loves to chew down on mandarin orange bits & “squeeze the juice out”.

i want to cry, I think you solved my problem. My son does have a tongue tie but i had bo idea it was affecting his eating, I couldnt figure out why he only wants milk at 3 years old, I mUst thank you enough. Getting this taken care of.

Our 4 year old daughter just had another bout of choking. This last one was scary! In doing some research – this is exactly what seems to be going on! Please help – the link on finding a provider is not working. I’m in the Washington, DC area (in Virginia). Please help!

I want to take some time to thank you for saving us. My 23 month old has always had problems eating. Couldn’t latch to nurse, even though I produced milk like a cow. When we tried to start purées he refused. Constantly gagged and threw up when he would try and eat food, woke up several times a night, had reflux from a small infant etc. Speech pathologist and occupational therapists were stumped. Didn’t think it was a sensory issue after many sessions.

I found your post in desperate searching of something to help my little man. As I read through your checklist I felt like I was reading a story of our lives. It all started to click. I made an appointment with his pediatrician. He did confirm my son had a small TT but said the feeding problems we were having wouldn’t be solved from releasing it. He did give us at referral to an ENT. The ENT basically said the same thing. Said he had a TT, that he’d release it if I wanted, but it wasn’t going to help anything. To say I was discouraged is a massive understatement. I had made an appointment with a PP that was the following day. I almost canceled it, but decided to get one more opinion. Best decision I’ve made in a long time. The PP confirmed he had a “pretty significant TT” and he lasered it right there. We saw improvement in his reflux and sleep instantly. I had tried to take him off his reflux meds a few times prior and always went back. After the tie release I pulled him off completely and he hasn’t had problems in 2 months. He sleeps better. When he eats, if he does gag, it doesn’t cause him to vomit anymore. We do have work to do behaviorally, because for almost 2 years every time he ate it was unpleasant. But he’s trying. Still pockets his food, but he’s working through it and making small improvements every day. I am eternally grateful for the time you put into this post. I pray that those parents going through this listen to their gut and get things checked out. And be persistent. Thank you again!

I’m so so so so thankful you’ve gotten the help you need and seen improvement! I will never get tired of reading success stories from parents that have have finally found the answer to their child’s problem – I literally get teary eyed and goosebumps! I’m so happy for you! <3

Thank you for this, I am actually excited to look into this. My son exhibits most of those behaviors, but nursed pretty good, so I never gave a second thought to a tongue tie. He is dropping in weight and has been the same wright for almost a yr. We r seeing a nutritionist tomorrow though I’m sure that’s not going to solve the problem. I plan on showing this article to all the doctors we see!

My seven year old son has had issues with eating for which seems like ages.He stores food in his mouth they swallows it with a drink, only eats very small meals, says his full all the time even after half a piece of toast and most recently I noticed a small pice of food actually was stuck on his tonsil which I thought was a spot this stayed there for two days until he got it with his finger also the family bit at the back of his throat has been stuck to his tonsils.What advice would you give me a very concerned Mum.

Does he have any visual indicators of a tie? Maybe ask him if his jaw gets sore while chewing – maybe it could be why he eats so little? I’m no professional but I would also be curious about an unknown food intolerance. I’m only speaking from our personal experience but my daughter was failure to thrive until we cut gluten and dairy – the dairy in particular was causing her to constantly feel bloated and uncomfortable, which effected her appetite. She would only want a few bites for most meals. Within 3 days of removing dairy from her diet she was ravenous for the first time in her life and I could hardly keep up with her! It wouldn’t hurt anything to do an elimination diet. Or if that seems too daunting you could just start by cutting out one or two things like gluten and dairy for a few weeks just to see if there’s improvement!

My 15 month old has tongue and lip ties. She was diagnosed at 7 months, but our insurance doesn’t cover it and she nurses fine (although it caused me pain and then discomfort for several months), so we didn’t have it taken care of. But she spits out most of her food, only eats a little at a time, is frequently hungry, etc. I want to wean her to fewer nursing sessions but that’s how she gets most of her calories/nutrients. Is there something we can do to help her since we aren’t able to afford cutting the ties? How long will it take her to grow out of it and begin eating better?

Oh mama, I’m so sorry! This was us for awhile too – the procedure expense was a set back for us also and managing a hungry child was no easy task, in addition to me trying to eat enough to keep up with his nursing demands since he was older. Is there anything she does eat well? We had to do a lot of baby food and drinkable calories – smoothies packed with higher calorie foods like avocado, pureed sweet potatoes that were runnier than normal mashed potatoes, applesauce popsicles, anything he didn’t have to chew. For whatever reason, he was able to eat meat, so I made sure to add lots of butter or lard for extra calories/fat for brain development. I would brain storm ways to make the things she *does* eat as healthy and high calorie as possible. As far as out growing it, you never technically out grow a tie and I’m not sure at what point a child would learn to eat a wider range of foods, this isn’t something I’ve come across in my research. I don’t have any proof or anything, this guess is just based on reading about desperate mamas, but I would anticipate it lasting a few years if you can’t revise. I haven’t read of many parents seeking help past the age of 5 -almost all the questions I’ve lurked on forums are parents dealing with toddlers and preschoolers. I know that isn’t very encouraging when you’re in the middle of it, but if you want to talk through any of it, feel free to email me

Amber, you have changed my son’s life! I want to thank you for writing this post. I came across your blog while I was searching for answers as to why my 2.5 year old son wouldn’t eat hard solids and was gagging/choking frequently. Similar to what you said, I was ready to hit the “X” button, my son can’t have a tongue tie – he sticks his tongue out of his mouth…he works with a speech therapist…seen by ENTs…evaluated TWICE by the state’s intervention teams… no way does my son have it…I’m sure someone would have told me, right?! WRONG! I’m so grateful to you and happy I listened and didn’t press “X”. As I read through your checklist, I got goose bumps and then the AH HA moment – I knew in my bones this is EXACTLY what my son was struggling with. Following your cues, I made an appt with one of the preferred providers (against the speech therapist’s wishes – she was concerned we would loose momentum with talking if I had it released). I saw Dr. Scott Siegel in NYC [HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!]. He confirmed the tongue-tie and released it via laser at the same appointment. Immediately after the procedure my son rubbed his tongue across his mouth and said “teeth” – that was the first time his tongue felt his upper teeth (or that he said that word!)!!!! He sucked a lolly pop for the first time! He ate a bagel without spitting out any pieces! And within one week his speech/vocabulary (which basically contained jargon with a few words here and there) grew to age appropriate sentences with mainly all identifiable words. His articulation has improved GREATLY! And most of all, his self confidence with talking and eating in front of others has reached new heights! Words cannot explain how thankful I am to you. I am taking after your lead and telling as many people as I can about our journey – spreading and changing the meaning of “Tongue-tied”. You are blessing, and once again, thank you! Finally my son is enjoying life and not struggling. As a mom you know, there are no words to describe how amazing it feels when your child is content, happy, and healthy!

oh my goodness – I am seriously crying right now, I just want to hug you both. Thank you so so so much for sharing this – I am over the moon for you guys! I can’t imagine battling that for 2 1/2 years and then seeing such drastic change! I’m sure all the people working with him were shocked! Hopefully they’ll take tongue ties more seriously after seeing his drastic improvement

I would love to hear stories from Mamas who had their los released at around three years of age. Stitches would be great as there is no wound care or stretches following; I’m getting lots of advice to wait on the tongue tie because after care would be so difficult with this age group. We’re dealing with something a little different–sleep apnea, and the tongue has already been revised 2x. It’s been pronounced ‘within the range of normal, with room to revise more’ by a pp. The current approach is to remove the tonsils and adenoids…but I’m wondering if the cause is a tongue that can’t rise to lick a popsicle or lollipop–he brings both into his mouth to enjoy and bites….

have you guys had CFT done? if he’s already had 2 revisions I wonder if there’s internal tension causing problems. It’s very common for the revision to actually not fix the problem until bodywork loosens up all the tension from the tie. Check out this article if you haven’t already http://www.happykansasfaces.com/blog/tether-berg-or-tether-floe! And The Gillespie Approach FB group is a great resource

I know this isn’t super recent but I just stumbled across it and it describes my son perfectly! He has been in therapy for months with a speech therapist who specializes in swallowing and she never once has mentioned a tongue tie. He had his tongue tie cut at 2 weeks old but he still has almost all of these issues. He gags, only eats little amounts at a time, spits everything out, refuses foods of certain textures and more. He has always had issues gaining weight but thankfully nursing has kept him from losing any. I don’t know what to do from here..he has a doctors appontment but it’s a month away.

Hey Mehgan! I’m super late in responding, so maybe this isn’t helpful anymore, but I would highly recommend looking into a CFT provider near you [Check out The Gillespie Approach group on FB for providers.] http://www.happykansasfaces.com/blog/tether-berg-or-tether-floe This article explains why more may be needed to gain full function and capabilities if a revision wasn’t sufficient.

I’m an SLP and treat children with feeding disorders. Lately I’ve seen a large number of kids (ages 8-12) who have undiagnosed tongue ties. Do you know of any resources or research discussing the effectiveness of clipping tongue ties in older children and recovery time?

A little more information, the kids I see are otherwise typically developing. The tongue tie does not affect their speech. They eat less than 20 foods and will not accept new foods but with the foods they do eat they eat well.

I haven’t come across anything about this at this point, but I also wasn’t really researching in this area, so I’m not the best help! The reason I wrote this post was because *everything* I was coming across at the time dealt with babies and nursing – I couldn’t even find anything out there that directly addressed older babies and toddlers! I pieced all this together through a ton of research, testimonies from other parents and our personal story, and answers that professionals were giving parents in the Tongue Tie Facebook group! If I come across anything on older kiddos, I’ll let you know!

Actually – I will say, no matter the age, I can’t recommend enough to have the parents look for a CFT provider near them [Check out The Gillespie Approach FB group.] Tongue ties are an outward sign of an inward problem – there’s likely internal tension that needs to be released. I’ve seen it mentioned that in some cases body work can eliminate the need for revising the tie, probably depending on the class of tie and what the symptoms are that need addressing.

If this isn’t the case, I would look into body work from a CFT provider. [Check out The Gillespie Approach group on FB] Often times the skin on the tie is removed but there’s actually tension inside the body that’s causing the child to act as if they’re still tied. The tie is actually an external sign of an internal problem. This tension needs to get released to they can gain full range of function. http://www.happykansasfaces.com/blog/tether-berg-or-tether-floe

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Welcome to Real Food with Kids!

My name is Amber & I'm an Instagramer branching into the blogging world! Why do I cook with my kids? Our culture has become dependent on processed food because no one knows how to cook. No one knows how to cook because no one's teaching the children.
I believe vibrant health is found in a diet based on traditional food so I'm working in my house daily to break the cycle of generations that are clueless in the kitchen!