Saturday, December 31, 2005

Good friends of ours returned from the UK with a treat, which they kindly shared with us last night. Bailey's Irish Creme now comes in Caramel and Chocolate Mint flavours. Needless to say, I have written the company asking why it's not in Canada yet. The answer is 'yes', it's yummy.

1. Refuse to go on Atkins diet. Or South Beach for that matter. Check!2. Take more pictures. ummm....... check.3. Try to ignore the blatant dents and scratches on my car left by inconsiderate parking lot users. It was hard, but... check.4. Give away any clothes that have been hanging in my closet (unworn) for more than 12 months. I knew I forgot to do something.....5. Stop getting upset whenever I find those plastic tags lying around that Darlene has cut off new clothes. Check. I no longer get upset............heh.6. Eat more fibre. Affirmative.7. Accept that red-necks' opinions are just as valid as my own. Come on...... you didn't really expect me to come through on that one, did you?8. Give the hair-cutters at First Choice another chance. Guffaw! Yeah.................. right.9. Try to contain the pee-splash from going everywhere. I try dammit!10. Spend any money that has been sitting in my account for more than 12 months. Got that one covered...

1. Be more generous.2. Not sweat the small stuff.3. Start using Linux.4. Overcome my desire to @#!$%?*& at horrible drivers.5. Rub her feet (anyone read Time Enough for Love? - see note).6. Ignore the voices in other peoples' heads.7. Miraculously get discovered overnight for the natural actor that I am.8. Stop cooking with cheese (obscure advertising reference).9. Go for more walks.10. Pay off the hardwood flooring.

Friday, December 30, 2005

His Iraqi immigrant parents threatened to limit his spending money and take his passport away. That after Farris Hassan, their 16 year old son (who cannot speak arabic), took off from Florida to Iraq without telling anyone on December 11. He apparently wanted to gather some data on Iraq so he could write about it, after learning about immersion journalism.

Am I the only one that sees a movie just begging to be made? Farris Hassan's Month Off! (lame reference to Ferris Bueller's Day Off). I vote Wilmer Valderrama (who plays Fez on That 70's Show) to play Farris.

This is weird - I don't know if it's just happening to us, but there always seems to be a theme regarding the pictures on the front of the christmas cards people have sent us each year. Last year, it was snowmen. Almost every card had a snowman on it - maybe not prominently, but it was definately there. This year it seems to be trees. I think we had one card that didn't have a tree on it. (It was probably bought last year, because it had a snowman on it)

Although another world event drives oil prices beyond $80/barrel, Albertans still do not rid themselves of gas-guzzling trucks

The Donald will guest star on episodes of Saturday Night Live and fire the really bad cast members

A fast food restaurant chain will finally cave and admit that their food isn't really very healthy

Hospitals in Western Canada will be inundated with victims of fainting spells as the Liberals form yet another government on January 23rd.

Angelina and Brad will marry........... and divorce (no really)

President Bush will blame global warming on air horns at sporting events

The MIT project to develop a $100 computer for third world countries will bomb as a result of the target countries' annoying lack of available electricity

the RIAA will weigh the pros and cons of suing people caught humming popular tunes in public

We will discover (yet another) new planet in our solar system. It will be named Homer.

David Letterman will guest on Oprah - he'll make fun of her set furniture...... and the feud will be back on

All those scam e-mails from Nigeria will be revealed as nothing but a huge practical joke on the world by Ashton Kutcher as part of the next season of Punk'd

The CIA will ban air horns at sporting events................... global warming will continue

By the end of 2006, there will be nobody left on Saturday Night Live, as Donald Trump will have fired them all

Stephen Harper will step down, the Conservatives finally coming to realize that they'll never get elected as long as the leader had any ties to the old Reform party. Bernard Lord will run and win their next leadership convention. He will then go on to be the next PM.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

It could be -30C outside, the snow could be swirling, but inside it's always warm and humid. Devonian Gardens is a botanical garden in the heart of downtown Calgary, with benches to sit and eat or meditate. This is a very popular spot with the office lunch crowd as well as a favoured spot for wedding pictures and receptions. The chirping you hear isn't fake, there are real birds living amongst the 20,000 plants spread across 2.5 acres, with 1.6km of walkways. I don't know if frolicking is the right word, but that's what they seem to be doing. The many water pools are home to a variety of fish and some Red Ear Slider turtles. A true paradise to escape from the real weather - and it's free (donations accepted).

I love a good breakfast out. One of my fave places to go for breakie is Ricky's. I guess my one complaint is that I don't get to go often enough.

So this morning I dropped my car off at the dealership for some routine maintenance. Now I've got a couple hours to kill, so I head down and across the street to Chinook Mall to kill time and maybe get a coffee and some breakfast. After wandering around for a bit, I finally settle in at a table at Chinook's glorious food court, with a coffee and a muffin. My table is right by the east-facing 75 foot tall windows - perfect for watching the sun come up, which it in fact is about to do. I unwrap my muffin, pick off a piece, thinking to myself, "I could've had a better breakfast than this". Then I look out the window, take in the beautiful colours of the dawn and look across the street to see........................ the Ricky's restaurant that I totally forgot about.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Ever since I learned defensive driving in the military, I've opted to back into parking stalls. In fact, in one place I used to live, it was frowned upon to drive straight into your driveway, so as to avoid backing over anyone's kids. It's gotten to the point where I no longer understand why you would want to back out of a stall. One web site refers to this style of parking as Fancy Parking.

When you fancy park, getting out is a breeze because you're already facing the right direction and can see what's coming. I guess the only real problem with fancy parking is dealing with impatient (or inexperienced) drivers who don't comprehend why you're stopped in the middle of a parking aisle with your reverse lights and turn indicator on. Or the person that tailgates you all over the parking lot looking for an empty spot, then while you're stopped to back in, they drive in behind you and take it. One of the methods listed on the site is called the Drive-Thru (shown above). This is the ultimate, because you get to have your cake and eat it too. Drive in - then drive out. Sweet.

These issues aside, I will always fancy park. It's much safer and has been proven to cause fewer parking realted accidents.

Monday, December 26, 2005

This is way cool. Students at Georgia Tech built a robot that plays drums interactively with humans. It learns from the humans' playing style and tries to improvise. Make sure to watch both videos. If they crash while playing, just download them first.

You are looking at the present. It's a picture of the ultra-modern VW plant in Dresden Germany. They make the Phaeton. Check out the pics at the link - they're incredible. Not like any auto assembly plant you've ever seen, huh?

Most of the time, Darlene and I have dinner at home on Christmas Day. You know, the usual stuff - turkey with stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, gravy, etc. But this year we decided to give ourselves a break from the work and the ensuing mess and treat ourselves to dinner out for Christmas. With all the fine hotels we have in Calgary, we figured we would have the pick of the crop as it were. Little did we realize that a lot of other people made the same choice and as a result, many locales had been sold out for months.

Finally, we settled in on the Delta hotel, for their first of two seatings. The food was great. It was impossible to eat our money's worth, but we tried - yes we did. The best part of course, was that after it was over, we just walked away. No dishes, no turkey leftovers for a week. It was a nice treat.

Here's hoping your holiday meal was enjoyable and you were able to share it with friends and loved ones.

Are you still procrastinating about what to get your loved ones for Christmas? Today's the last day! Can I offer some sage advice? The best gift to get them is something that they would love to get themselves, but never do because it's a splurge item. People resist on buying splurge items because it's not a sensible purchase - even though it's something they really want. That's your cue. They'll love it coming from you because it wasn't their money. Or maybe it was, but they forgot it was really their money - whatever. The point is, buy the splurge items. You can't go wrong. Usually.

Advice is accurate to 90% in 13 out of 15 cases. Void where prohibited by law.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Even if you're just visiting this blog - help me prove a statistical oddity by participating in this poll. In the comments, please indicate which spaghetti sauce you prefer, Ragu or Prego. In the same comment, indicate which pet you have owned (or would prefer to own), dog(s) or cat(s) - or both for that matter.

It turns out that all the marketing data that has been collected on us over the years has turned up some statistical oddities, such as the fact that those who prefer Ragu tend to be dog owners and Prego lovers tend to own cats. If enough people participate, maybe we'll see if this still holds true.

A New Mexico judge has actually signed a restraining order barring David Letterman from continuing to vex a Santa Fe woman who believes the television host has been secretly communicating with her for 12 years via code words, gestures and eye expressions.

I understand exactly how she feels. One time I was asking myself if I should quit smoking and then I see this (image at left) on TV....... He got me "hyp-mo-tized."

Thursday, December 22, 2005

I'm not against this per se (at least that should keep the Association of Dog-Dresser-Uppers off my back). I just don't understand it. Can we at least agree that this is............... ummmmm.................. unnecessary? More unnecessary-ness here.

I know I was naive to think they'd actually go for it, but I sent off quick questions to the NDP and the Green party, hoping to get quick answers. With their permission, I would have posted the answers on this blog - giving them unprecedented exposure to...................... at least a dozen more people. Anyway, one party never responded and the other simply sent some pre-formatted statements. Not at all what I was hoping for, but then who was I kidding, right?

So I decided to post the questions here and answer them myself - with the responses I would have liked to have seen from the parties I sent these out to:

1. As PM, what would you do with the gun registry? Scrap it. Everyone knows criminals rarely use registered weapons.2. How would you improve health care in this country? Work to eliminate private care and start paying health professionals what they deserve, to prevent them from crossing the border into the US. Find ways to fund health education to make it possible for those who couldn't afford it to become health professionals.3. How can the government help consumers save energy? By subsidizing more efficient vehicles and helping pay more for efficient retrofit of homes.4. Should parents pay user fees for their childs' education? Never. It's time to audit school boards and find out where all our school taxes are going. If it all adds up - we need to spend more.5. Private health care - good idea or bad? Bad.6. What are your party's plans for our military? Give them the resources they need to do their job. We don't even have our own transport to get our soldiers where they need to be.7. How would your party beef up our crumbling infrastructure? Invest more. We don't even have a four lane highway crossing our nation. That's sad. Our infrastructure is crumbling and we build things after they're needed.8. The new law in same-sex marriage. Will it be left intact by your party? Yes.9. The EI surplus is huge. Is it time to cut premiums or give some benefits back? Cutting premiums only makes the situation worse when things get bad. We need to spend EI money on the unemployed to get them into the kind of work that will keep them employed all year.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

We used to have a dyslexic postal delivery person. We often got mail destined for house number 4323, when our actual number is 4223. Now I realize that mistakes happen - but this occurred several times a week in many cases. We complained, a lot. But it only stopped when another person took over the route. Well, I think this person is back, perhaps relieving the regular, because it's started again. Two days in a row and counting.

I know a lot of people who don't think it's fair that they have to pay school taxes when they don't have children. What I have a problem with is that even though school taxes are spread out amongst the entire populace, parents are still being asked to pay additional fees so their kids can participate in various school activities. How is it that most people agree that teachers are still one of the most under-paid occupations, yet when teachers try to get more money, the school boards cry foul and worse - parents threaten that they should not go on strike?

Today was the shortest day of the year. For those of you not living in a northern climate, it is short. Although the normal temperature today should've been -5C (23F), it got to 8C (46F). The sun came up at 8:37am and set at 4:31pm. What's wild about living at this latitude is that the sun only peaks at less than 16 degrees from the horizon at noon. Think about that for a moment (get out your protractors if need be). The best part is knowing that 6 months from now, it'll still be light out at 10:30pm.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Britain created a new reality show, where a bunch of potential space recruits are fooled into thinking they've been selected for, and gone into space - but it's all a hoax. Even the trip to orbit was a put-on.

So I'm wondering - how did they not get tipped off that they hadn't left earth if they still experienced gravity? Did they have to look very far to find these nincompoops?

Here's a tip on how to save money on greeting cards this holiday season. When Darlene and I find ourselves in a card shop, she will often find a suitable card, call me over and show me the card. Then after I examine it and offer my compliments on such a good choice, she'll say, "There. Now I don't have to buy it for you." When I find a great card for her, I do the same thing. The added benefit of this is when you find more than one candidate to give, you can show them all the good ones - and then just put them right back. We save a fortune this way.

I'm kidding. We do this sometimes in jest, but we actually do buy each other cards........

Sunday, December 18, 2005

......also called "down unders" - simulate walking barefoot while protecting your feet. Topless sandals stick to the bottom of your feet, but leave no residue on your feet when you take them off. The "stick" is guaranteed for a year, which is the typical life span of a flip flop. Topless sandals are basically topless flip flops, but so much cooler. You'll be amazed at how many heads you turn while wearing your topless sandals. People will literally think you are barefoot and so will your feet.

Go buy your $25 movie that you know you probably don't want to keep. Watch it at your leisure. Twice if you'd like! Take your time. When you're done, put it for sale for $15 in your local paper, or your company 'for sale' forum (I would've mentioned Ebay, but I'm trying to eliminate shipping costs). Mention that you only watched it once. Or twice, whatever. Many people would be tempted to buy errr.. rent a movie for $15. Especially if they knew they could keep it if they want - or sell it for $8 in your local paper, or your company 'for sale' forum. Many people would gladly pay $8 to collect a movie they want to see that's still in great shape.

I'm tellin ya............ this could catch on. So, if you live in the Calgary area and would like to own 'The Island' for $15 (only been watched once), my e-mail link is on here somewhere.......

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Darlene and I decided to give a new deli in town a try. Merle's Deli, at 1241 Kensington Road NW, specializes in authentic Montreal Smoked Meat. Their fries are fresh cut and are a mix of sweet potato and regular potato fries. Yummy. The smoked meat sandwich was lean and mean and the rye was melt-in-your-mouth fresh. Cafe Metro - I'd say you've finally got some serious competition.

Well, it seems that 2005 was not a kind year to the music industry. Sales are down due to 'online piracy, CD burning, high prices and competition for consumer dollars from videogames and DVDs'. So what are they going to do? Bite the bullet and lower prices? Offer music online at a price that is irresistable? Nope. They'll go on suing people to try to make ends meet and force online vendors like iTunes to charge more money for 'popular tracks'. Do you hear that sound? It's the sound of an industry in its death throes.

Could this be the future of mobile computing? 5 pens, that together act as a projected screen, projected keyboard, cell phone with handwriting data input function, camera / scanner, and personal ID key (which could be used to purchase online).

Friday, December 16, 2005

1: Are you male or female? In the flesh2: Describe yourself? A saucerful of secrets3: How do you feel about yourself? One of these days4: Describe what you are thinking right now? Is there anybody out there?5: Describe your current partner. A pillow of winds6: Describe the place you currently live. Wish you were here7: If you could go anywhere, where would you go? San tropez8: Your best friend is? Animals9: What would you ask for if you had just one wish? More10: You know that: The show must go on11: What's the weather like? The great gig in the sky12: If your life was a television show, what would it be called? Shine on you crazy diamond13: What is life to you? Learning to fly14: What is the best advice you have to give? Breathe15: If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Arnold layne

Americans seem to be puzzled as to why Canada is so upset with them over a trade dispute. In fact, many Americans don't even know what the dispute is all about. I'll try to simplify it for you, since your press seems to have left out a few important details.

We signed an agreement with the US a while back called NAFTA. It was supposed to create a free trade zone between Canada, the US and Mexico. Note the word 'free'. The duties that blocked free trade over the years were supposed to be eliminated. Unfortunately, the US decided that Canada was unfairly subsidizing softwood lumber production, which undercut the American softwood industry. So to level the playing field, they imposed a 27% duty on all softwood entering the US from Canada. We cried foul and won every case brought before the NAFTA tribunal, the last being on August 10, 2005. So, quite simply, we want the $5 Billion back that was charged in duties and the US is having none of it.

We signed up for unconditional, not selective free trade. Are we guilty of unfairly subsidizing some of our industries? Maybe. But we are certainly not the only ones guilty of that. So if you're wondering why our politicians are making a big deal out of this - it's because it is a big deal. If both sides cannot agree to play by the rules then there's no point playing at all. And for America to accuse Canada of treating a supposed friend unfairly, let us just remind the US that even though we strongly contested the duties using the built-in resolution system, we never fought back with duties of our own. Such as duties on our oil.

Some people should be ashamed of themselves. It's bad enough we have kids beating on homeless people for kicks, but what happened in Vancouver lately is nothing short of un-freaking-believable. A nurse tried to enlist the aid of Starbuck's customers to assist with a homeless man who was unconscious and his comforter was on fire. The responses? 'He's homeless, just forget it', and 'Don't call the hospital, they don't want him'. The nurse did help the guy, who had suffered a seizure and with her help, he even made it to hospital. But she can't get the image of those who refused to help out of her head.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Well, I was hoping this day wouldn't come, but I guess I'm just too damned optimistic. You know that wonderful PVR box I bought? (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you need to read my Jurgle post) Not so wonderful anymore. Yeah, there's a fly in the ointment. It has to do with the DVD recording function.

I had recorded the Ron James comedy special on CBC last week and figured it would be a good idea to archive the show to DVD, so it wasn't hogging space on the hard drive forever. I would, after all, like to watch it again sometime. The copy to DVD went without a hitch (although the salesperson did lie to me when he said the recorder can use DVD+R and -R discs - not true - it only records to -R). But when I went to play the disc in my other DVD player, it would not even recognize the disc. Neither would the DVD drives on my PC. A little research turned up the fact that PVRs record the video in a proprietary way that makes them useless on any other player. Well freaking done! No doubt the MPAA and the TV networks had their greasy little hands in that little feature. But fear not my sullen-faced readers - I'm sure some hacker somewhere is working on a hack for the problem.

I guess I better hope my PVR lasts forever, cause I may not be able to play my archived TV programs on anything else. Oh well, if these entertainment people ever lose their jobs when their companies go bankrupt after a cheaper, more efficient method of disseminating media takes over - at least they'll be able to give seminars on 'How to alienate your customer base'.

But I'm not bitter...............

Update: Doh! I spoke too soon...... Turns out all that was wrong is I didn't finalize the disc. Of course, the manual didn't really allude to that procedure very clearly. Seriously, I read the manual! No - really! Yes, I'm a guy........

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I'm looking forward to the day when gadget designers enable us to use existing technology to better serve the gadgets' use. Take my Palm Tungsten, for example. It comes with a regular ol' AC charger, but it also comes with a doo-hickie that converts the usb cable to a car DC power accessory socket. Meaning it can also use the usb data cable to draw recharging power right from a powered usb port on my computer. My Zen mp3 player can do the same thing.

So why can't I recharge my cell phone via usb (with a cable provided by the manufacturer - free of charge)? Huh? Is that so difficult a concept for them to grasp?

Monday, December 12, 2005

I have an idea for cars whose time has come. Hybrid cars make a car more efficient by recouping wasted energy into electricity and shutting the engine off when not needed. But what about all that wasted heat? We need to find a way to capture lost heat from the engine and store it in a way that it can be used later. This stored heat could be used to heat the engine and car interior prior to use in winter, for example.

I'm puzzled by the fact that temporary tattoos haven't become a popular item. I know a few people who like their tattoo, but acknowledge that they'll look terrible eventually. I also know people who would love to get a tattoo were it not for the 'will-look-terrible-eventually' or 'may-no-longer-be-appropriate' turn of events.

So why haven't temporary tattoos taken off? Think about it, you can apply the symbol / phrase / picture du jour on your chosen body part and perhaps once it has worn or is no longer en vogue, you can erase it somehow and start a-new. Wouldn't that be neat?