Wednesday, May 18, 2011

This letter came in today from a reader who says he's working at the NIH.

"I shadowed a pediatric neurologist this week. It was certainly interesting, but up until today I'd have guessed your blog was a little exaggerated in terms of humor.

That was before clinic this afternoon.

I saw the patient, an adorable four year old girl, grab the neurologist's reflex hammer from out of her coat, run over to the PA, and, uh, test his reflexes.

I'm not a physician, so I'm not sure if grabbing your crotch after it's been walloped with a reflex hammer is actually a reflex, but it sure was funny. Well, maybe not for the PA.

The kid really, really liked that hammer. The attending actually GAVE IT BACK to her later to buy her cooperation in the exam. I shielded my groin, so the patient had to settle for beating my leg with it.

Seems like a great field. I'll just remember to wear a cup."

Thank you! Just remember, folks- anyone who thinks this stuff doesn't happen, hasn't had the misfortune to work in the medical field.

20 comments:

Nicole
said...

I took my daughter to a ped neurologist yesterday actually. He was really good with my 1-yr-old but I got the impression from the number of soft toys that he carried that he was used to dealing with things like that. Oh and he had one of the little hammers that Dr. Grumpy didn't like btw. Not one of the good ones. I wasn't sure to think of him after seeing that and reading the Grumpy post on the reflex hammers.

I can still remember the day that I found your blog and it was like the clouds had parted and the sun shone on me for the first time in years...you mean that I'm not alone?!? It's not just our patients that are this batshit crazy?!? Thank you, God!

Oh, I know you're not making this stuff up. I spent a year as a ward secretary (do they still call them that?) on Labor & Delivery, and then three years as a medical receptionist for a geriatric practice. From the drug reps to the crazy patients, it's all true!

This is comical, poor guy! i agree with Homebody, this should go on a T-shirt! By the way, check out Adventures in Prior Authorization Land, it's a new blog. Ya know, because you're not seeing patients all day or anything.

Word. I once had the great pleasure as a physical therapy student of charting something along the lines of "patient again advised at length to discontinue use of wheeled laundry hamper as mobility aide. Patient counseled to call RN for assistance with out of bed."

Yes, this patient needed assistance with ambulation and was unsafe solo even with a walker. That's why we DIDN'T leave a walker for her. Why she then thought to use the flimsy laundry hamper to get around with is beyond me. When questioned she admitted her actions made her nervous. Ummm, me too. Please, no more!

My psychiatrist tells me that many of his patients (including me, apparently) are relatively sane, but suffering from perfectly understandable reactive depression or anxiety caused by the totally crazy people who are their spouses, bosses or parents.

My experience today exemplifies the point that you just can't make this stuff up - morbidly obese pt wearing a "I heart my vagina" T-shirt presented with, you guessed it, vaginal d/c. When asked if she has any children, her response was "yea, in the trash can behind planned parenthood."

After insulating myself in adult medicine since my pediatric rotation, lets say decades ago, was so glad to have read this, which prepared me for end of day encounter with maniacal (must rethink approaching legislature about the red-bull warnings for 4 year old consumption) little lovely which accompanited mom to mom's new patient exam. (did I say they were 45 minutes late, calling from parking lot saying no parking...) Older brother diligently playing video game only to repeat "endearing" asides to little sis about her behaviors , which in turn lead her to further demonstate new ways to demolish exam room (after rejecting my offer of crayons and coloring books), explore my tool bag, and elicit promises from mom about cheese cake and Red Robin. luckily I was able to snach, I mean delicately remote, from her grasping reach the hammer and nails. So glad Lent is officially over and we have no trade restictions with Russia or Sweden.

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

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