Deb Cole and Mary Lynn Falbe: Don’t underestimate fathers

As we begin June, where we celebrate fathers, we would like to share some observations and information about the importance of fathers and the impact they have on their children.

As children, we were both blessed to have active fathers in our lives who taught us how to love and laugh, how to be responsible and productive, how to care and support others and how to enjoy life. We were shown the importance of strong work ethics, family, discipline, and to treat others with respect.

We are both children of the 60’s and our parents were working class individuals who both worked and raised their families to understand hard work, responsibilities and family love.

We learned these attributes at an early age and it gave us what we needed to become successful women, with career experiences in early childhood education, domestic violence and business.

While we have been given wonderful fathers that impacted our lives profoundly, our career experiences have shown us the results of children who do not have a father or father figure present in their lives and how that impacts their development and success in life.

Nearly 30 years ago, leading child psychologist Michael E. Lamb reminded us that fathers are the “forgotten contributors to child development.” Since then, much work has been done to explore the ways fathers contribute to the healthy development of their children. Did you know:

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Children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings and, as they grow older, have better social connections with peers?

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They also show greater moral sensitivity and self-control?

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Fathers tend to do more than mothers to promote their child’s independence and exploration of the outside world?

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Children who have close relationships with their fathers have higher self-esteem and are less likely to be depressed?

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Girls whose fathers read to them are likely to have better verbal skills?

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A number of studies suggest that fathers who are involved, nurturing, and playful with their infants have children with higher IQs, as well as better linguistic and cognitive capacities?

Unfortunately, there are a number of reasons a father might be separated from his child. If this should happen, positive male figures can serve as role models and mentors for the child.

Our upbringing, experiences, and beliefs have drawn us to Community Fatherhood, an organization dedicated to increasing the involvement of fathers and father figures in the lives of children through special programming and training opportunities for men.

Their vision is that every child in South Central Michigan will have a positive father/father figure actively involved in their lives. We believe strongly in the mission, vision and work of this organization. So much so, in fact, that we are committed members of the board of directors.

The work of Community Fatherhood is vital to the children of our communities and to the family structure as a whole.

While we understand not every child will live in a two-parent home, we do believe that all children have a need and a right to have a positive father/father figure in their life. We know it won’t happen overnight, but it can happen and Community Fatherhood is working to that goal.

We as individuals are dedicated to the goals and objectives of Community Fatherhood and the lives of the children served by the organization. We know what a difference having a positive male role model in your life means.

It is our hope that there are many of you out there reading this that believe as we do and feel compelled to help make a difference for children. We urge you to consider joining us and Community Fatherhood in this important work.

There are so many ways to help and support the organization and their work. Some examples may be to mentor a young child, assist with the job readiness program, utilize the program businesses (screen printing and catering) assist with organization fundraisers, or make a monetary gift. Everyone is welcome and any and all assistance is needed.

If you would like to join us in this work or if you or someone you know wants help to strengthen the relationship with a child or gain additional parenting skills, please contact Community Fatherhood at 282-1340, or visit our website at www.cfatherhood.org.

Every child needs a father or father figure to be there for them.

Deb Cole and Mary Lynn Falbe are board members for Community Fatherhood.