The Legend of Giants

Okay, so I bet this isn’t what people were expecting, but I got this idea 3 years ago and I’ve been sitting on it forever, and I never thought it’d get a chance to make it. I needed the Patriots to win a Super Bowl against a team not named the Giants and I finally got my chance. I tried to make it work independent of the reference, but in case you have no idea where this is coming from, This is a specific parody of the opening to The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. I just liked the idea that Eli beating the Patriots is like Link vs Ganon, and that if the Patriots rose to the Super Bowl without Eli there to stop him, it would be all over for the rest of us. I’m a nerd.

If I feel up to it maybe I’ll throw the images into a video file with the music and bring it full circle.

I’ll be making Super Bowl comics all week so I won’t get into too much post-game analysis. Safe to say though that game was probably a top 5 Super Bowl ever. Game lulled in a few spots, especially when it looked like Seattle was about to pull away in the 3rd-early 4th, but it delivered. Unbelievable. I went into the game almost apathetic about the whole thing with little excitement, and by the end I was absolutely riveted. (I also found myself rooting for the Patriots down the stretch, So I guess my loyalties ended up with Belichick after all)

It’s crazy how it seemed like a Patriots/Giants SB at the end there. Patriots finally got the lead, leaving too much time on the clock for the other team. A couple good plays and the freak catch happens. When Kearse came down with that ball I thought it was over. I mean, how do you lose after a play like that? 1st and goal, the best power RB in the league behind you, one play and 4 yards gained, Belichick isn’t calling the timeout, what are the Patriots doing, here’s the play and OH GOD DID THE PATRIOT GUY CATCH THAT

I don’t think passing there was necessarily a bad idea at all. They were slightly too crunched for time because they probably expected Belichick to call Time out, and when he didn’t it screwed them up. If they run it and didn’t make it (Which is possible, they didn’t like the defense they saw), then they have to take their timeout. Then they pretty much have to try a pass play on 3rd to make sure the clock can’t run out, then whatever on 4th if that fails. That timeout they had to burn earlier in the drive to save a Delay of Game really came back to haunt them. So I understand the rationale behind the passing call. What I don’t understand is the specific slant route. Why that play? They expect a run up the gut, don’t throw it near the middle, that doesn’t seem safe. Play action, roll Wilson out, see if anything is there, if not throw it away. Far safer. Instead they throw an inside slant to a small receiver who isn’t going to overpower anyone, and the DB reads it perfectly. Even if he caught the ball, the impact probably would have kept him out of the endzone judging from the replay. It was just a dumb call.

Then they bite on an obvious hard count to give up their one remaining possible chance, then Bennett and Irvin start a fight and make the Hawks look classless (Argue all you want about how “justifiably” mad they were, I don’t remember other teams doing that when the SB is lost on a close one. Including the Patriots). Just a total brain fart at the most crucial point in the game. I’d say I feel bad for them, but I really don’t. They won it all just last season and their team looks built to last. This won’t be the last time Seattle has a chance, but it probably will hurt for a long time.

Patriots fans can finally rest and bring out the smug again. I’m legitimately happy for Brady. He seems like a good guy and I just can’t hate him as a person, and watching him jump up and down like a 5 year old when the INT happened was so adorable. I have no real hatred of Belichick, I love Gronk, Revis, Edleman, Amendola, and of course Big Vince. Honestly if the Patriots weren’t this boring juggernaut of success every year I’d probably like them a lot more. Congrats, New England. You overcame the crazy catch curse and can celebrate all year. Russell Wilson tried so hard to absorb the essence of Eli magic, but only Eli can be Eli, and thus the Patriots stand victorious.

Discussion (37) ¬

I was watching the interview with Tom Brady after the game and he really showed off his human side there. I know it’s weird to say that about someone, but I was convinced he was a robot just a few years ago, from all the “right” answers he always gives. And yes, the jumping up and down on the sideline bit was just adorable. I used to hate him for how cold he seemed (plus the whole jealousy thing), but I actually really like the guy after Sunday and can’t help but feel good for him now.

Probably because the actual Patriots still considered themselves British culturally, not even wanting to break away at first and just wanting parliament to listen to them. It wasn’t until later that it became a drive for independence.

It’s like Dave said on Twitter though. For all it might have been a cracking game, it was worst matchup. Two diametrically opposed shades of smug.

And sadly, given all the off-the-pitch shite that’s gone on, the matchup, ending and result were the green tunic, mirror shield and Master Sword on a season that I have REALLY struggled to enjoy. (‘Cept weeks 1 & 4.) While I want to remember this season for Jarvis Landry’s kickflip at Wembley, Optimus Grimes pwning Megatron AND OBJ simultaneously and Lamar Miller’s amazing 97-yarder, we all know who it’ll be remembered for.

Rice knocking out his fiancée in a New Jersey lift.
Peterson punching his four year old kid in the knackers.
Gordon chucking it down his neck and in a spliff.
Snyder suing native Americans so he and his team can continue to ‘honour’ them.
Lynch acting like a 24-carat douchecanoe, even though he proved he can speak when he wanna by calling out Goodell.
Lousy officiating in the playoffs – so that’s where the stand-in zebras went.
The fetid stench of cheating – and oh, look who it is. Again.

And finally, Goodell showing as much leadership through it all as Irresponsible Captain Tylor after a heavy night on the sherbets.

You look at that and think ‘damn, Incognitogate was just the warmup act wasn’t it?’

As an engineer, I am appalled at your claim that the two super bowls over a 4 year period represent a linear pattern. For all we know, it’s an exponential pattern meaning that the giants won’t win for another 12 years which honestly seems more likely. Also see that marlins who won the world series in 1997 and 2003. Ok now I’m taking this too seriously but baseball season is almost upon us. Let’s go O’s.

You can call the Pats boring, but they always deliver an entertaining Super Bowl. All 6 in the Belichick era within 4 points. Aside from the Eagles game, all of them have been legitimate classics, decided within the final minute.

As for the Seahawks… You could say a certain quarterback came up small. However, how insane was that Chris Matthews storyline? A guy who was signed off the practice squad in December(!) and had zero(!!) NFL catches going into the postseason ended up first saving the team’s season with an onside kick recovery (!!!) and then catches 4 passes for 109 yards and a TD in the Super Bowl.
Can’t wait to draft him in a fantasy league and then have him revert to total anonymity.

The problem wasn’t the decision to pass, it was the poor play selection. Like Dave said, roll Wilson out, give him a run/throw/throw it away. Obviously it’s easy to say that now, and we’re all sort of speaking from the position of knowing the outcome, but still, it didn’t seem to be a play that worked with their strengths.

I think a lot more credit needs to be given to the New England secondary. I honestly do not recall a single time (I am sure it happened but I can’t recall it) where a Seattle receiver was OPEN. Maybe it speaks more to the lack of positional strength at Wide Receiver for Seattle (entirely possible, their WR corps sucks) but they seemed utterly incapable of providing Wilson with any easy throws. Even their big plays were mostly either lucky or just throwing it up for Matthews to go get it over a shorter DB, which the Pats shut down in the 2nd half.

Meanwhile, the “Legion of Boom” let go of a 10 point lead, and Seattle looked at Gronk vs. a LB one-on-one on the outside and said, “Yeah, we think this will work just fine…”

This. The decision to pass was a good call, but the slant was questionable (though, the slant did move it away from the Pat’s best DBs– I mean, Butler’s almost as much a “Who?” as Matthews was.

That was the best INT I’ve seen in years– it wasn’t finesse, that INT was raw power. The force of him smashing the Hawk back 3 yards, and STILL holding onto the ball, in the most pressure-filled instant of his life? We see WRs drop passes like that all the time, but Butler just took that play over. Finesse INTs happen a lot– pure, raw might INTs? Not so common. That play was remarkable in every sense of the word.

Coughlin = King of Blue Giants
Archie = Link’s grandma
Peyton = Aryll(Yeah Eli’s younger, but it’s a sibling who is bested and captured by the villain and who the hero has to save)
JPP = Zelda(A close, skillful companion who aids in the final battle against evil)
Brady = Shadow Ganon

I’m still working on the theory that Wes Welker’s the Super Bowl curse.
The Patriots make two trips to the Super Bowl with him as a player and they lose. He then becomes a Bronco and THEY make the trip to the Super Bowl and lose. He stays a Bronco and then the Patriots make the Super Bowl the next year and win. Hmm.