Boner (Round Two) for May 19th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: A GOOD PLACE TO SLEEP IT OFF

Authorities say a man has been charged with driving drunk in the parking lot of the New York State Police Academy. State police say an off-duty trooper reported a suspicious person Wednesday afternoon in the parking lot at the academy located at state police headquarters in Albany. Troopers say they watched a man exit his vehicle and lay down in a grassy area behind the academy. Troopers conducted a field sobriety test on the man and then took him to the trooper station at the Empire State Plaza in downtown Albany, where a breath test revealed he had a blood-alcohol content of 0.28 percent.

Boner Candidate #2: I SORRY ABOUT THE MONKEY COMMENT

A white Alabama legislator who stirred outrage after sending an email that black lawmakers on Wednesday condemned as racist has apologized. Republican Rep. Lynn Greer, of Rogersville, forwarded a constituent email to dozens of legislators and lobbyists that described an experiment in which caged monkeys will eventually stop reaching for a dangling banana as they slowly accept the status quo because their predecessors were punished. The email was sent as black lawmakers used procedural tactics in the House and Senate to oppose proposed new legislative districts they said minimized black voters’ influence.

Boner Candidate #3: HELLO BOYS!

Authorities say a Louisiana woman living illegally in a vacant home in Florida answered the door naked when a sheriff’s deputy stopped by to investigate. Monroe County Sheriff’s spokeswoman Becky Herrin says a real estate agent called to report that someone was staying at the home on Big Pine Key without the owner’s permission. Deputy Richard Wang looked in the window and saw 36-year-old Feliciamae Farrington naked. He knocked on the door and she answered, still naked. Farrington refused to get dressed and investigators say she fought with Wang as he tried to take her into custody. The struggle continued when other deputies arrived.