In light of recent (the last few years) events, I felt compelled to share this. Here, you will read a conversation that took place between God and Satan and how it affected the life of Job.

1. There are matters going on in heaven with God that believers know nothing about, yet it affects our lives.

2. Even the best effort at explaining the issue can be useless without the scriptures.

3. God’s People do suffer. Bad things happen all the time to good people, thus, one cannot judge a person’s spirituality by his painful circumstances, or his success.

4. Even though God seems far away, perseverance in faith is a most noble virtue since God is good and one can safely leave his life in His hands.

5. The believer in the midst of suffering should not abandon God, but draw near to Him so out of fellowship, comfort can come.

6. Suffering may be intense, but it will ultimately end for the righteous and God will bless abundantly.

These are the six fundamental truths about the Book of Job taken from the MacArthur Study Bible. Last week I started re-reading Job and then last Friday that tragic school shooting from Santa Fe, Texas happened. I know it’s becoming somewhat of a twisted tradition for people to use such tragedies to either push their agenda, virtue signal, or grandstand, making it all about them instead of the victims or the surviving family members.

Even in reading this, my words, here and now, you may choose to see that I’m doing the same. Dare I ask, please curb all cynicism if for just a moment. Notice how I didn’t even post a picture of the shooting as click-bait or a close-up of a grief-stricken loved one just to provoke an emotional reaction from you. If by the end of this you think I’m nothing but a peddler trying to cash in on someone’s tragedy to look good in someone’s eyes (I’m a loner), I accept that as a failure on my part for not driving home the message, the main focus of this post.

Let’s start with whom Job was.

Job was a man blameless and upright who fear God and turned away from evil. He was considered well known in the land of Uz, this is east of Canaan, somewhere north of the Arabian desert. The time or era of his existence was considered around the same or possibly before Abraham uprooted and left for the land flowing with milk and honey. So, you have to think, it was sometime after the great flood. No doubt generations after Noah’s sons repopulated the earth and even after the people were dispersed following their attempt to build the tower of Babel.

Job’s wealth was measured not by gold or money. Not by land. But by his livestock. The scriptures say he owned some 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, and 500 female donkeys. He must have had a great amount of servants working for him to maintain such wealth.

On top of that, Job’s true blessings were in the form of his ten grown children. He had seven sons and three daughters and loved them immensely. He loved them so much that he’d offer burnt sacrifices to God on their behalf just on the mere chance that his children had sinned even in their hearts. This shows how considerate and thoughtful he was. Job was a good father.

In terms of popularity through the eyes of most humans, Job would be like the Bill Gates of today’s time. Famous, rich, and perceivably without a care in the world.

In the first chapter of the Book of Job, God held council with his angels in heaven. Satan, the Adversary, was among them. In verse 8, God says to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?”

Beginning in verse 9, Satan answered, “Does Job fear God for no reason? Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has and he will curse you to your face.”

God replied in verse 12, “Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand.”

Here we see that God gave Satan permission to inflict Job with hardships. And no doubt, haughty and proud following his success of corrupting Adam and Eve, Satan set out full of confidence that he could sway Job to curse God to his face.

Before we go into the “why,” lets consider what happened. Mind you, this is just the first chapter of over forty.

In this very first chapter of Job, after holding conference with God, Satan stripped Job of his livestock via death through marauders, robbers, and fire from the sky. That’s over 11,000 animals under Job’s possession suddenly gone. The scriptures say that this happened all in one day. That’s right. In verses 13-19, the scriptures tell us that only four servants rushed in to tell him of the tragedy, one right after the other.

And worse, was when Job learned that while his children were visiting his oldest son’s house, a great wind came and toppled the four corners of the house to kill them all. All ten of his children. Dead.

In a single day, Job lost nearly everything. He was rich, considered successful in the eyes of the world. Considered moral, flawless, and upright by all who knew him. Yet he, even he, was forced into suffering. In verse 20, it says he “tore at his robe and shaved his head and fell to the ground.”

But did he curse God? Did he wave his fists at the sky and scream “WHHHYYY!!!!”

The scriptures tell us in verse 21 that Job said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked shall I return. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

In verse 22 it says, “In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.”

All of this happens in the very first chapter of the Book of Job.

I can’t wait to continue reading because I know what happens and need ever to be reminded. Further into the Book of Job, after he is stricken with leprosy and cast out by society, three of his so-called friends approach him and try to get him abandon his faith in God. And dude…I’m telling you their arguments are convincing. When I read them, if you’d like, I can post the tactics they use. Because I think a lot of their tactics are still being used today by Atheists and Apostates alike.

But going back to that question of “why” for a moment. I have to point out something all true believers should keep in mind. This is a hard pill to swallow, but I don’t think it is if your heart isn’t corrupted by this society.

God does not owe us anything.

Just take a moment and really consider that. I know I did when I first read the statement. For, like you, I too see God as our loving heavenly father. And as we all know, fathers do owe their children something. But still…God is the Grand Creator. One of my favorite lines in the Book of Job later on is when he tells Job in 38:4 “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?”

God does not owe us anything.

Not an apology. Not a reason. Not an explanation. He doesn’t owe us safety or security. He doesn’t owe us love or friendship. He doesn’t need our love nor our obedience. He requires them. But doesn’t need it. In the Old Testament there were so many times where God was about ready to just wipe out the ungrateful Israelites who yet grumbled despite having witnessed with their own two eyes the supernatural events, his awesome power manifested in the form of dark clouds and fire. And if it wasn’t for Moses pleading on their behalf, reminding him of the Abrahamic Covenant…

God does not owe us anything.

And if you really take those words to heart. Consider what that means, I think you’ll come to have a greater understanding and an appreciation for God’s grace, generosity, and mercy. Everything he does for us is what he chooses to do. Not because he owes us or we’re entitled to it.

Two great examples of this is the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for our sins, which he didn’t have to do. And I think, most relatable to the theme of Job, is the gift of the Bible. We have the knowledge, the answers that people thousands of years ago did not have. It was easier for them to be led astray because they didn’t have the internet or Google where they could fact-check. Or in the case of us Christians, a source where it gives us the truth to guard against false prophets and tactics of wicked manipulation.

Meanwhile, Job had absolutely no idea why he was made to suffer such heartbreak, such tragedy, such hardships. He had no clue about Satan’s endeavor to get him to curse God. Even when God talks to Job in the later chapters, he offers Job explanation. Yet, by Job’s example he teaches us what we should all do. And this is the main message the Book of Job drives home.

“In the end, the lesson learned was that one may never know the specific reason for his suffering; but one must trust in Sovereign God. That is the real answer to suffering.” – MacArthur Study Bible.

Bad things will continue to happen until the end of this wicked system of things. Jesus will return and wash away all wickedness from this Earth. If you don’t believe this then it’s understandable, the frustration and confusion, the anger and outrage, the questions of “WHEN WILL IT END?” or “WHY DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING?” will forever persist.

And as we all know, suffering for Job does end. And God blesses him abundantly with more than he lost and ten more children after the ordeal was complete.

But also, keep in mind that even though Job received great blessings after the ordeal, even still, this isn’t owed to us. Mind you, the main reason why Satan thought to challenge God when it came to Job’s devotion was because Satan believed it was due to a question we should all ask ourselves in the depths of our hearts. “Do we serve God with pure motives or are we only in it as long as the blessings flow?”

IF GOD REALLY LOVED US, HE WOULDN’T ALLOW US TO SUFFER!!!

IF GOD EXISTED, HE WOULDN’T ALLOW GOOD PEOPLE TO SUFFER!!!

GOD DOESN’T EXIST BECAUSE IF HE DID, HE WOULD HAVE ANSWERED MY PRAYERS!!!

About three years ago, I used to hear those statements all the time by associates and people around the world from the forums I’d contribute to. I knew from my Christian foundation why bad things were happening and why they would continue to happen. But that knowledge was inherited or passed down to me. Meaning, it’s just what I was told. I never took the time to actually read what the Bible has to say on such matters. Thus, when I hear the emotional outcry following some national disaster or tragedy, I’d find my own doubts bubbling to surface, my faith slipping on thin ice.

That’s when I picked up the Bible. I opened the very first page and started to read. I read one to three chapters a night depending on the length and after two years, I finished reading the whole book. I can’t tell you how much it’s changed my life for good. However, I confess, one perceived side-effect about knowing the truth is that you can be seen as somewhat callous when bad things happen. You’re not shocked or terribly surprised by what’s happening.

And while you see others around you in their grief, their demands for change, their finger-pointing and a human need for justice…you can’t help but feel thankful that you know the truth. Our Grand Creator. The God of Armies. The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jehovah. Our heavenly father. Turn to him. Put your faith in him. Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven always.

“Hey, Rock. Can I ask you something? When will black people ever stop…”

Alright, let me stop you right there. *frustrated chuckle*

Before I begin, I have to introduce an idea that probably goes against the popular opinion. When people use the word, “ignorant,” to describe those who make racist or even sexist remarks, I don’t believe the word should have such a negative tone. Some ignorance is innocent. Some people honestly have no idea what is offensive because they haven’t been exposed to diverse cultures.

It reminds me of this 16-year-old kid from my days working as a pizza delivery driver. He jokingly told the manager, a playful dark-skinned man from Africa, that he reminded him of a monkey. Understandably, the manager was upset. But I saw the remorse in the kid’s crying eyes. He was truly innocent in his ignorance. He didn’t mean to offend. He just didn’t know any better.

If you were raised in one city, one culture your entire life with very little diversity, it’s understandable why you might be ignorant to the hardships, stigmas, or stereotypes of another race. I don’t think those individuals should be slighted for their ignorance. I don’t even think we should look down on them for being raised with that lack of diversity.

If you’ve ever been to some of the lesser-known areas of the United States, you’ll realize why minorities are called, minorities. In Colorado, I attended my cousin’s graduation. He was only one of four black students graduating amongst 200. It’s not White People’s fault that large groups Blacks haven’t migrated to parts of Wyoming or regions of the Northwest.

And when people say, “Well white people should learn the plight of (insert race)!”

I say, why should they? Unless they really want to know of their own volition or have a friend or loved one who’s of a different race that they want to draw close to, I don’t believe anyone should be morally coerced into learning the hardships of another race. I think those who do shame others into learning, either want others to feel their pain, or use their victimhood as some kind of badge of moral superiority. There could be other reasons I’m sure, but its something to think about and just cause for self-reflection.

Now then…

On New Years Day, I watched Dave Chappelle’s latest Netflix specials. It was highly anticipated. I enjoyed his last two and lamented his absence from the entertainment industry. Chappelle’s has a disarming voice, his comedic tones aren’t forced and he presents a discussion in the midst of his levity that prompts people to think, not out of guilt, but curiosity. I applaud him, truly I do.

But sadly, my elation turned to horror when he started talking about Colin Kaepernick and the whole issue of NFL players kneeling during the national anthem. As an American, I respect their right to protest, I even respect the fact that it is essentially a peaceful protest. I disagree and dislike their protests, but as an adult who is taught to love thy neighbor, I understand and respect it.

However…when Dave Chappelle told his Los Angeles audience that Colin Kaepernick “took a knee during that anthem for us…” and that “everyone who takes a stand for somebody else always gets beat down…”

I was utterly disappointed. By “us” is he referring to relatively rich black celebrities, athletes, and public figures? I suspect not. I’m reluctant to put words in his mouth, but I believe its safe to assume, by “us” he’s talking about Black People. If he was specific and went so far as to say “Colin Kaepernick took a knee during that anthem for the racial injustices in America,” I wouldn’t have had a problem with it.

But when Black Celebrities take it upon themselves to tell a general audience, what Black People as a whole do or don’t want, this is a very big problem.

Allow me to explain.

The best way to understand this is to use the logic Dennis Prager had when he explained why you shouldn’t take God’s name in vain. During a question and answer lecture he gave with Ravi Zacharias, Prager clarified that people shouldn’t “carry God’s name in vain.” Meaning, one shouldn’t commit murder in the name of God, or steal in the name of God. Basically misrepresenting God’s name for your own self-interest is the sin of taking God’s name in vain.

Furthermore, he goes on to explain that if “an Atheist commits torture, and a religious person commits torture, it’s actually worse if a person tortures in the name of God than if an Atheist tortures. Because the Atheist has done pure evil, but has not ruined the possibility of taking God seriously.”

Do you see the correlation? I know gears are beginning to grind upstairs.

Prager says, “There is a direct relationship between all the murder in God’s name taking place in our time (referring to Islam), and the ascent of Atheism. Because nobody does the case for Atheism like the person who does evil in God’s name. And nobody makes the case for God, than the one who does beautiful things in God’s name.”

“Rock, are you seriously comparing Black People to God?”

I’m comparing race to religion, my friend. And I think the logic holds water. My biggest fear is that a majority of White People who aren’t racist, who don’t care about the color of your skin will eventually get fed up with being made to feel guilty or bad over something they never even did to begin with. I say that, because I know how it feels to be oppressed into caring about an issue that doesn’t apply to me one way or the other.

You don’t realize that you’re being forced to care about an issue out of some misplaced or exploited guilt, not at first. But eventually, the tactics lose their potency. You grow up. You hear or read logic that combats that which shamed you in the first place. Then comes the resentment. And if you’re not careful, that resentment can either fade in which you return to neutrality and love everyone regardless. Or…it can turn to animosity and a need to stand up against that which oppressed you to save others from falling down the same traps you fell for. That animosity can turn to hate. That hate can be passed down to your children. And so, the cycle never ends.

It wasn’t until I heard Mr. Prager’s reasoning that I was finally able to articulate my problem with Black Lives Matter.

You see, I’ve always said that my main problem with Black Lives Matter is the freaking title of their movement. They’re carrying the name of Black People. And when they do bad things like call for violence against whites, or disrupt an intersection, or applaud the murder of cops, they are essentially making a case for those who would and could be potentially racist against us.

More importantly, what if you are Black and you don’t agree with the Black Lives Matter movement? What if you’re Black, and you don’t agree with Dave Chappelle, or Jay-Z, or the dude from Grey’s Anatomy? What if you’re Black and you don’t believe in the idea of institutional racism? What if you’re Black you see how the media lies and manipulates the facts just to drum up racial tension. Meanwhile, a white father of three can get executed by a cop in a hotel hallway and the media just glosses over that.

When Dave Chappelle took it upon himself to tell a Los Angeles audience that a NFL player was standing up for “us”…I think educated individuals would see this and say, “We know what you’re talking about all Black people. It’s a bit misleading but we know you’re not saying that Kaepernick is representing Black people as a whole, just those who have faced racial injustices.”

It’s the same with those videos that start with “Dear White People”.

I see that and I’m shaking my head like, “Dude…you guys are pushing your luck.”

Or are they really so thirsty for a race war that they forgot what happened on Black Wall Street in Tulsa, Oklahoma in 1921.

Unfortunately, and I suppose this boils down to the crux of the matter, we live in a society where people don’t like to think, either for themselves or critically at all. Even on Facebook, it’s gotten to the point where one has to make a picture out of a statement just to get others to read it.

It’s difficult to discern what is true. More than that, if you’re of another race, living in a community that isn’t so racially diverse, and all you have to go on is the sayings of your favorite comedian, celebrity, or athlete to teach you about Black People, its very easy to be misled into thinking ALL black people agree with that public figure.

We don’t.

Diversity isn’t just about race or the color of your skin, it’s about the culture. Cultures have sub-cultures. Think about the 1950s, where you had the Greasers and the Socs. Think about the high school stereotypes, the jocks, the cheerleaders, the stoners, and so forth. Even when we grow up and develop our own interests, there are always different cultures and groups springing forth from a larger group.

It’s the same with Black People. Growing up, my favorite group was the Backstreet Boys while everyone else was listening to Juvenile, Masta P, and DMX. I was tormented relentlessly by my own race. The way I dressed, the way I talked, my mannerisms, and the fact that I saw beauty in all races, not just black girls, I was bombarded with slurs like Oreo or a Carlton. Black students would accuse me of wishing I was white. Some girls would accuse me of thinking I was better than everyone else.

I didn’t think I was better than everyone else. But clearly, I was different. Which is why I get a little bent out of shape when I see commercials and people romanticizing that notion, as if being different is a cool thing. It isn’t. When you’re really different, you’re not accepted. You begin to feel like something is wrong with you. And if you’re like me, you start to get angry. Some people pity themselves and get depressed. I balled my fist and threw down.

And you want know why I was different? Because when my parents told me to “just be yourself no matter what…” for some reason I took that to heart. The only time I ever fit in was when I was pretending to be someone else. I hated that. I was fake and sometimes, my friends could tell. This isn’t freedom.

So when black students in middle school would ask, “Oh, Rock wishes he was white.”

I’d deny it. At the same time, I wanted to tell them, “I wish I wasn’t black.”

Why would I? Black Pride? Pride in one’s African heritage? Pride in the fact that our ancestors were beaten, tortured, and forced to slave labor? What pride is there in any of that?

It wasn’t until I grew up and learned about the struggles of the Civil Rights movement that I understood what it meant to have pride in my race. I already had pride as an American. But pride in being an African descendant came later.

It’s easy to follow the trends and stand up for the marginalized opinions these days. Try doing it when buses were torched, churches were bombed, the KKK pulled off hits like the mafia, and whole communities rose up to lynch men for f**king whistling at a white woman.

There’s my pride. In the face of death and permanent bodily damage, Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, John Lewis, the nine students attending the high school in Little Rock, Arkansas, Medgar Evers.

Even before that, the abolitionists, many of whom were white, like William Lloyd Garrison, Angelina Grimke, Harriet Beecher Stowe, and of course the eloquent former slave, Mr. Frederick Douglas. These are my heroes. They fought for equality. They fought for liberty.

So why has it suddenly become popular and apparently acceptable that people are calling for segregation? I suppose that’s for another essay. Allow me to end with this.

“AMERICANS ARE MORE DIVIDED THAN EVER!”

We’ve all heard this vitriolic rallying call by individuals from both sides. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a tactic they use to make others feel bad for not jumping on the bandwagon of any given ideology or agenda.

Personally, I like that America is divided. I think we should learn to accept this. How can there be this call for diversity, yet the same ones expect unity? With the advent of the internet, more Americans are exposed to philosophies and concepts from around the world. It would be nice if we were united at least on one centralized theme, but I think the more secular we get, the lesser the chances of that happening.

AMERICA IS DIVIDED!

When have we ever been united? On what are we divided? What country on earth, would you say, is united? And if we should unite, what should we be united about?

This is the United States of America. I believe we are united by the laws of the United States Constitution by which we are governed. But that’s it. Our preferences, our ideologies, how we choose to live our lives, and who we choose to worship, that is our freedom. That is our liberty.

Just because you were born of a race or ethnicity, it doesn’t mean you have to live your life according to the most popular culture associated with it.

Jim Jones – Over 900 People Died because they Didn’t Know the Truth, Will It Happen Again?
By Rock Kitaro
December 11, 2017

On November 18th, 1978, a man named Jim Jones somehow managed to convince over 900 individuals to drink cyanide and take their own lives. You could read it that way. You could also read it as, On November 18th, 1978, over 900 individuals allowed themselves to be manipulated by Jim Jones into taking their own lives. But the thing is, over 300 of them were children. So, my heart is soften and reserved from being too harsh.

Then, recently, in an article I shared about how Christians don’t want to discriminate against gays, I engaged a stranger in a conversation about the differences between race and sexual orientation. I told him the practice of homosexuality involved actions, such as intercourse or the actual act of getting married, while race is something about your appearance you can’t do anything about one way or another. He countered with, “So do you suggest…”

I had to stop there.

How many times have you heard someone say, “Where in the Bible does it say…”

I’m like…you’d know if you read it. Then you come at me with conviction instead of skepticism. Have the courage to declare your interpretations and I will lovingly engage you to correct or be corrected. But when you reach a certain maturity, you can tell fairly early on whether the person’s inquiry is to learn or to attack.

So when the young man asked, “So do you suggest….” I had to stop there because I knew. Or rather, I saw what this young man was doing. And it reminded me of the followers of Jim Jones who died that fateful day on November 18th 1978.

When I read and watched a documentary about how over 900 individuals died by drinking Kool-Aid cyanide in Guyana, I cried. It was tears of frustration. My fists were clenched. And as angry as I was with that asshole Jim Jones for having led his flock astray, I think I was more pissed about people missing out on the truth. Had they just taken up the Bible and read for themselves what’s what. They might have been saved from having gone to Guyana in the first place.

Too many times I’ve seen individuals throw out scriptures here and there in debates like ammunition from a sniper rifle. I can hit you with a New Testament scripture. You can counter with an Old Testament scripture. But if we don’t know the context, is it really doing anything?

I know I’m all over the place with this essay but allow me to explain what happened in 1978. It began with an evangelical Disciple of Christ named Jim Jones. Now, I wasn’t alive in the 1970s, but I’ve read a few things. America had just come out of a turbulent 60s where influential leaders were assassinated left and right. Racial injustices were skyrocketing, revolution was in the air. Essentially, the timing was ripe for a religious leader to take a stand and grab the reins.

Jim Jones did just that. He was charismatic. Fiery. Passionate. More than that, he had the ability to transmit his passion from himself to another. I credit this as a gift. We’ve all seen it once or twice in our lives. Individuals, who could move entire crowds with a single speech. Paul Pierce once mentioned how Doc Rivers could give pre-game speeches that would have you believing you could run through walls. This is indeed a gift.

Couple that with the profession of having God on your side, then you truly become something extraordinarily powerful. And here’s where things get a bit dicey.

I’m weary of mentioning Hitler as an example of it because I believe, at heart, he was more in lined with Nietzsche’s philosophy of the Ubermensch. Hitler used his ability to move crowds more in the sense of nationalism not religion. Nevertheless, that fervor led to his countrymen doing a number unspeakable acts.

And before I continue, let me just stop you if you’re one of those who are just looking for counters. Yes, Christians have done horrible things too. The point of this entire article is to be weary of those who use religion or philosophy to convince their followers to do bad things.

Now then, where was I? Ah, yes. Historical examples of passionate leaders able to move crowds. I suppose the biggest example that comes to mind is L. Ron Hubbard. (stops to listen if anyone’s breaking in).

For those who don’t know, L. Ron Hubbard is

credited as the Founder of Scientology. I’ve dabbled a bit in his philosophies back in 2010, I’ve read up about his background and most recently, watched a highly detailed documentary about him, featuring several of his followers who were once high-ranking members. These followers eventually came to see the truth for themselves and had some critical things to say about Scientology. Even L. Ron Hubbard’s first wife had some pretty shocking things to say about his motives. I’m not going to go into all that. I’d just encourage you to watch “Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief” to determine for yourself what’s what.

The thing Jim Jones and L.Ron Hubbard have in common, in my opinion (based on what I’ve learned about them), is that they are hypocrites. And my heart palpitates to say that about L. Ron Hubbard after learning about the tactics his followers use to silence dissenters. Again, watch the documentary and decide for yourself.

But first, let’s break down what a hypocrite is. Because I notice that society has a way of bending and expanding definitions to mean whatever they want it to mean.

A hypocrite is someone engaging in hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform. That’s one definition of it. I believe this is the best definition of it. I would use Merriam-Webster, but alas, that organization is guilty to updating and changing definitions to go along with the times. (nothing’s sacred anymore)

The reason why it’s important to nail down the definition is because I believe it should be distinguished from the word, contradiction. Hypocrisy and contradiction is not the same. Otherwise, all parents are natural hypocrites. But that’s not the case.

If I’m a parent, and I tell my child not to drink beer. And then I go ahead and open up a cold one. This does not make me a hypocrite. However, if I go so far as to say, “You should not drink beer because it ruins your life and its evil.” Then wait for you to go away and drink it when you’re not looking. Then you’re a hypocrite. Get it?

This is why the word, hypocrite, was usually designated for the clergy or politicians standing on high moral grounds. Because they were preaching one thing, but behind closed doors, doing the opposite of what they preached.

Jim Jones was indeed the ultimate hypocrite. He claimed to be a follower of Jesus Christ, even going so far to put on elaborate displays of his healing power in his church. I’ve seen testimony of individuals colluding with him. Pretending to be sick or injured only to have Jim Jones heal them in the middle of a sermon as if it was a divine miracle! I’ve read how he preached the casting off of material possessions and living as Jesus Christ lived modesty. He encouraged hundreds to leave their earthly possessions, their former lives behind and join him. And that sounds great. Truly it does. But he talked about joining him. Jim Jones. Not Jesus.

Eventually, Jim Jones went so far as to throw the Bible from the pulpit out into the nave of the church, saying, “WE DON’T NEED IT!” And it was met with thunderous applause. I encourage everyone to read this friends’ article about Jones’ derision of the good book, as Kristian Klippenstein goes into great detail how Jones manipulates and twists meanings, doing as I suspect so many do today, taking scriptures out of context and rubbing them in the dirt. – http://jonestown.sdsu.edu/?page_id=34280

And ladies and gentlemen, the only reason why people like Jones can get away with it is because of a lack of personal theocratic responsibility. How can you have a relationship with God if you don’t know Him? And if you don’t know him, but know of Him, don’t you know how dangerous it is to be led astray?

It reminds me of a quote from the movie, “The Robe.” It goes along the lines of “Because men claim to seek the truth, but they can hardly live with it.”

We are all humans. God knows our flesh makes us weak. Our heart pulls us one way, our minds another. So when that friend conversing with me about homosexuality asks, “Do you suggest…” I had to stop because I knew, this man shouldn’t be asking what I would suggest. I am but a man. Man cannot lean upon their own understanding. What he should be asking is, “Does God suggest…”

Why don’t people ask this anymore? I’ve been pondering the question and I’ve discerned that there’s so many reasons. It could be because humans know in the depths of their heart that what they are doing is wrong, and the very idea of reading scriptures to confirm their doubts terrifies them. Because they can no longer claim ignorance and thus, will be held accountable.

Also, there’s the reason of feeling burdened by the Bible. If you read something in the Bible that conflicts with who you are in your heart, it’s tremendous. It’s like…what do you do? Homosexuality comes to mind, because it’s an issue in current events. And if I may, I’d like to reveal something about myself here.

I don’t know what it’s like to be born with the inclination to be attracted to the same sex. However, I do remember a time when I was attracted to another man. I was eighteen. I’ll see if I can find the music video. Back then, I was very much into J-pop music. The lead singer of a group called L’Arc En Ciel had a music video called “Blurry Eyes” and in it, the lead singer had long hair, and was wearing a dress. And I thought to myself, “Wow, she’s gorgeous!”

His name is Hyde

Of course, lo and behold. I found out he was a man. Apparently in Japan, the androgynous look was/is somewhat fashionable. But I delved into the concepts of sexuality and attraction. And I thank God for guiding me to and from this dangerous territory. And it was dangerous for me. Because I could have very well allowed my heart to follow that leaning and call myself Bi-Sexual.

As a man, I’m attracted to women who look like women. If you’re a man dressed up and dolled to look like a woman, I don’t feel ashamed for having been tricked. I can acknowledge you are indeed beautiful. But I won’t be attracted to you. Carmen Elektra is beautiful. But I’m not attracted to her. The same goes for all married women. The same goes for my cousins, family members who have very beautiful features. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with acknowledging their beauty, but to let your heart lust for that which is abominable in God’s eyes is wrong.

And if you’re dealing with that. If you’ve read the Bible and saw something that conflicted with who you believe you are, or what you want, or what you desire, the burden is extremely heavy. It can drive one to deep depression and even suicide. Thus, the Bible can be a bit scary. I know. Truly, I understand. I understand because I’ve allowed my mind to explore and see the world from the perspectives of others.

But here’s the thing. And if you take nothing from this, I truly hope you believe what I’m about to say. Just like there are men and women who truly understand what you’re going through, whether they’re your parents, your best friend, a therapist, psychiatrist, a teacher or a coach.

Take solace in knowing that God also understands, better than anyone else on Earth. I promise you, He does.

He created the heavens and the earth. All the stars, every single grain of sand, every molecule and atom was design explicitly by God. You were merely born in the 20th Century or later. He’s seen everything, EVERYTHING that’s come before you. He knows the depths of our hearts because he created us. He doesn’t want to see us suffer. He doesn’t want to see you depressed or in pain. He knows what you’ve done. And still…he’s waiting for you to come back to him. Because He loves you.

Some of his most endearing servants, like David, Noah, Moses, Samson, Gideon, all of them have failed him in more ways than one, but still he showed them grace and salvation. The Israelites, God’s chosen people whom he led from captivity in Egypt. Who betrayed Him by building a Golden Calf and committing idolatry, not once, but twice.

Even after he brought them to the promise land, eliminating their enemies, feeding them, handing them decisive victories and bringing them peace, the Israelites turned to worshiping false Gods. Despite all of that, God loved them and stayed with them. He disciplined them with famine, military losses, and captivity. But he did it because he loved them. To get them to turn away from doing what is bad.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I know all of this because I’ve read the Bible in its entirety. I am far from perfect. My heart is dark and my thoughts can be wicked as hell. So many times I’ve cried reading the Bible, feeling that terrible burden I spoke of. Just to share one.

I believe the first time I wept reading the Bible was with the story of Jephtah in the Book of Judges. This military leader of Israel was the son of a prostitute who rose to prominence. Then, hastily, he vowed to God that he’d sacrifice the first person who exits his house to greet him if God would deliver a military victory. Tragically, the first person who exited his house was his beloved daughter. From what I read, he kept his vow and indeed sacrificed his daughter. (Judges 11:34-40)

This burdened me so, because I also made a vow to God. I did it in haste and on a whim and it was foolish of me because I did not think it would ever be a problem. When I was 21, I missed the Memorial of Jesus Christ. I begged for forgiveness and said, “If you forgive me, I promise I’ll stay a virgin until I get married.”

That might not seem like a big deal depending on who you are. But back when I made that vow, I was about 378lbs, I considered myself highly undesirable and honestly believed no woman would ever want me. So the vow was easy to make. Fast forward five years…well, I don’t want to brag but suffice to say, I’ve made vast improvements on my appearance. Culture has changed so much that, it is popular opinion and widely accepted that you should have sex before you get married.

I’ve had girlfriends. I told them, that I wouldn’t have sex until I was in love with them as some kind of compromise on the vow I made. But after reading the Bible in its entirety, I fully intend on keeping that vow in its entirety. I’m a 31-year-old virgin. While I take pride in keeping my vow with God, it is somewhat of a burden living in this current system of things. I’ve missed out on several promising relationships. My last girlfriend even went so far as to jokingly say:

“Haha! Usually it’s the man trying to get in the girl’s pants, but with you, it’s the other way around.”

Yep. That’s not emasculating at all.

Still…in reading the Bible, I’ve found encouragement in keeping my vow. I’ve seen how God rewards those who keep their word. Hannah is a good example of this. If you’ll recall, Hannah was the second wife to a man who had a son through his second wife. Hannah was apparently barren, and the second wife ridiculed her for it.

So when they went to the temple that year, Hannah prayed for a child and promised that if He would bless her, she’d hand him over to God’s service. Hannah prayed and believed and behold, she gave birth to the prophet Samuel. And she kept her word, handing Samuel over to the priest Eli. And God rewarded her with five more children.

The point of my sharing my experience, particular this one, is several. In the point of homosexuality, I’ve had people tell me, “So what, I’m not suppose to have sex then? If that’s what my heart is telling me? Am I supposed to remain celibate my entire life?”

I think, having read this far, you know the answer to that question. I think one of the main reasons why they’re soliciting a response from a mere human instead of inquiring of God through means of the Bible is because they can then counter with that cliché response of, “Well you shouldn’t judge me. God created me. So who are you to say what’s right and what’s wrong.”

With people like that, all I can say is “this is what the Bible says. The decision of what to do and think is yours.”

And the beauty of that response is the reminder of an essential quality so many overlook. “Free Will.” With Free Will, you can do whatever you want. Even in a Secular society, devoid of religion, you still have free will. But your free will, the decisions you make in handling your free will has consequences. In Ecclesiastes 8:11 it says “Because sentence against a bad deed has not been executed speedily, the heart of man becomes emboldened to do what is bad.”

So when you see what everyone else is doing and feel bad because you think it’s not fair that you can’t do the same. Remember that scripture. It’s not to tell yourself, “Yeah, they’ll get what’s coming to them.” But it’s a greater understanding of why everything looks good and fun, when in God’s eyes, it may not be.

Well, Rock! How do you know what’s good in God’s eyes? I’ve seen pastors with million dollar homes and fancy cars and the hottest wives. You trying to tell me that’s all bad? I want that! What’s up!

“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” Genesis 1:1.

Start there. Instead of questioning other humans about their understanding God with the intentions making that the deciding factor of whether or not you believe, take responsibility for yourself and seek the answers from the source. I honestly believe, with the exception of the children who should do as their parents instruct, the 900 individuals who died on November 18th 1978 might have avoided that untimely demise if they took responsibility in reading the Bible in its entirety.

The illustration I see so vividly from that day in history is one…I am very much afraid of it happening again but on a much larger scale, one with a death toll so high it’s very much unfathomable. Only this time, it won’t be confined to the religious being led astray by those twisting scriptures for their own selfish gains. But also humans abandoning religion due to the influence of entertainment and fear of the court of public opinion.

In the book of Revelations, there’s illustrations of one third of the population being wiped out by plagues (Rev – 9:15). And as a Christian that hurts me. I don’t want anyone to die. But even if my body is destroyed, I have faith that I’ll see my loved ones again. That hope is what Jesus taught his followers to go out and share. But if people ignore his teachings, disregard the Bible and do whatever is good in their own eyes, what salvation is there for them?

In this John MacArthur Study Bible I’m reading, the author describes Revelation as the book that records the end of human existence. Just think about that. Actually pause, and think about the end of human existence.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I’ve shared a lot with you. I’ve talked to you about hypocrites and manipulators, and followers who were led astray, costing them their lives. This isn’t to say that congregations, or churches, or pastors aren’t good. In the Old Testament, it’s pretty clear that God loves the praising from assemblies. The important thing is that regardless of what’s being preached, it’s on you as an individual to take personal responsibility for what you believe.

Don’t fall prey to theocratic laziness. God knows our heart. If our motives are to refrain from seeking the truth so we can claim oblivion when we have to answer to Him, he will know (Romans 14:10-18)

I know you might have questions. I know there’s a lot left to be desired. I didn’t write this to attack or impose, but to share. To encourage. To uplift. I love you my brothers and sisters. I care for your families. I care for the sinners and I care about the non-believers. I don’t care about people like Jim Jones, those who know the truth but choose to defy it. I know I should forgive people like him, but that’s something I still need work on.

The answers you’re looking for are all in the Bible. Trust me, it’s not all doom and gloom. To me, it’s more of a history book in which so many marvelous lessons are taught. You just pick it up and start reading. Don’t stop. Even when you get to some part of it that conflicts with your very being. I urge you to keep reading. The explanations are there. Don’t be afraid. If God sees you trying he will shepherd you. You just have to believe.

If I may, allow me to leave you with perhaps the most encouraging chapter I’ve read in the entire Bible. I hope it leaves you with a smile on your face the way it did with me.

Psalms Chapter 32, written by David, inspired by God.

1, Happy is the one whose transgression is pardoned, whose sin is covered. 2 Happy is the man whom Jehovah does not charge with guilt, In whose spirit there is no deceit. 3 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away because of my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me. My strength evaporated like water in the dry summer heat. 5 Finally I confessed my sin to you;I did not cover my error. I said: “I will confess my transgressions to God.” And you pardoned the error of my sins. 6 This is why every loyal one will pray to you. While you may yet be found. Then even the floodwaters will not reach him. 7 You are a hiding place for me;You will safeguard me from distress. You will surround me with joyful shouts of deliverance. 8 “I will give you insight and instruct you in the way you should go. I will give you advice with my eye upon you. 9 Do not become like a horse or a mule, without understanding, Whose spiritedness must be controlled with a bridle or a halter Before it will come near to you.” 10 Many are the pains of the wicked; But the one trusting in God is surrounded by His loyal love. Rejoice in God and be joyful, you righteous ones; Shout joyfully, all you who are upright in heart.

The following are raw unedited thoughts from yours truly. Read at your own discretion.

Sometimes I wonder…vainly of course. if Jesus Christ was like me in his twenties. Bearing the pressures of expectancies of family, toiling and committing himself to his craft that was carpentry and fish…all the while resisting destructive impulses and fighting off the waves of crashing temptation of fornication and immorality and drunkenness, and covetousness and acts of violent revenge against perpetual offenders.

Why did it take him till the age of 30 to get baptized? Could it be that he himself understood himself, and recognized that he knew he was not ready to commit himself to that path. I wonder if he too, saw the hypocrisy of other clergy-men and proselytizers who led double lives and promised himself that he wouldn’t become one of them.

I wonder if he too, saw the flaws of boxing himself into one religion when he knew better than most that the way others were worshiping Jehovah, while it may have been earnest and in good intentions, were overall daunting and diminishing to the souls, the different hearts that needed a different approach when it came to them approaching and praying to God.

I say different hearts, because more and more, I’m beginning to believe that not all hearts are the same. Is there a study of hearts? Like the study of psychology, and I realize that my use of “hearts” if figurative and thus, vague and intangible and essentially non-existant. But it’s the feeling we all have, and not everyone feels the same. And I think that’s okay.

For instance, my life is saturated with men and women who don’t know I exist, but they are in my world because I have learned of them, either through news articles or random research. Even those who do know I exist, often and understandably presume that I hate them just because they annoy me. But it’s not hate. My annoyance with them is based on the lives they lead, and I care because I love them.

The love I bear for them, is incomprehensible by many of my peers because they either don’t believe it or can’t understand it. I weep for families I’ve never had the pleasure to make their acquaintance. My heart is girdled in chains when I hear of victims. My skin peels and crackles into embers when I hear of children sold into slavery, their lives ruined and tainted by the selfishness of adults who care nothing or see nothing beyond a certain point like spiders.

The more I see…the more my heart cries and begs for wickedness to be washed away sooner than later. I sometimes lament being born at all and then slap myself for thinking I’m any better than they who I cry for. Why has such a walking contradiction such as myself been allowed to exist? The strength I continually prayed for has been given to me, and with it I keep walking. But for how long? I wonder, if that’s why I crave purity and innocence for my company.

“Surround yourself with like-minded individuals” they say…

I won’t go so far as to say that’s impossible. But I will say that I’m tired of looking. I am the lone wolf who talks to everyone. I judge everyone as everyone judges everyone. To call me judgmental is to declare yourself judgmental. There’s nothing wrong with it. To accept oneself, the essence of romanticism and inner peace and happiness and an honest unbridled and naked self to present yourself in your prayers…what’s the point of it all if we continue to deny what’s right in front of us. The obvious truths we ignore for the sake of…fitting in?

Watching this movie called “Silmido” while I get some writing done. Interesting stuff and quick history lesson for ya whether you want it or not. In 1968 North Korea dispatched a unit of Commandos to assassinate Park Chung Hee, the President of South Korea. The North Korean unit failed in this attempt.

In response, Park Chung Hee began to train his own unit of South Korean commandos to take out North Korea’s president. The training was so brutal that several trainees died. And just when the unit was up and ready to go, relations between the two countries improved and the hit was called off.

It’s clearly speculation up to this point as to the motives of this now disbanded South Korean unit, but the facts indicate that this unit hijacked a bus in 1971. The South Korean Army confronted them and killed twenty commanders from the unit. Four remaining soldiers survived but were executed months later in a tribunal.

The South Korean government covered it up for years, until after 2003. When the movie “Silmido” came to light, bringing nationwide attention to the incident. In 2009, members from this ill-fated unit sued the government for harsh training conditions that were a violation of their basic human rights.

In 2010, the South Korean government awarded those families with a payout of 273 million won in compensation. This is nothing compared to other “incidents” that have happened around the world. I just wonder…What kind of mentality would us “entitled” Americans have if we were taught about such oppressions growing up.

It still rings in my head. What an old friend told me back in 2008. “That’s North Korea, Rock. This is America. Why do you care?”—–Love thy neighbor….such a sentiment.