Ringer: Catherine’s no good, very bad day

Baze is being questioned by the police, Catherine is macking on Andrew, and Bridget is lying on a filthy mattress with a bullet in her chest.

That’s a wrap on the season. Good night everybody!

Or not. Two days earlier.

Batmanuel is still flogging the shooter’s tarot card, but it doesn’t mean anything to Bridget or Andrew. Andrew gruffudds that Batmanuel is terrible at his job, and places the blame for his shooting, Malcolm’s disappearance, and the attempt on Bridget’s life squarely on the agent’s shouldersluxurious eyelashes. Bridget believes just as firmly that the fault is hers. She trusted the wrong cop. She ran when Officer Jimmy told her to, and look at all the people who have been hurt. It’s time she did something about it. She meets with Batmanuel on her own, and tells him she wants to testify – as Bridget. He’s been over her testimony, so he can tell ‘Siobhan’ what to say. How has Bridget’s head not exploded by now? Sometimes I wonder if she even remembers who she is anymore. Why haven’t we explored more of that, Show? I’m so glad we spent four episodes on Martin & Charles’ shady business dealings instead. Anyhoo, Batmanuel doesn’t even know where to start with how bad and wrong her idea is. Never mind she would be creating a whole new category of perjury. ‘Siobhan’ would be placing herself in harms way, and he’s not sure he can handle having any more blood on his hands. He’s still soaking the stains from the beat down he put on a suspect earlier in the day. Oh, and did he mention it led to him being suspended? Good times. Batmanuel suddenly realizes that his vendetta against Bodaway is preventing him from his true mission – keeping innocent people safe. ‘Siobhan’ can’t testify, but maybe there’s another way he can protect her.

“Let’s kill Bridget.”

Baze’s father-in-law still has the pon-ZAI! flashdrive, and he’s not returning Baze’s calls. Siobhan suggests using the twins as a pretext, but Baze angrily rejects the idea of using his children as bait. She apologizes, but with an eye roll that says, ‘ … those kids could at least be useful for something.’ Baze continues flirting with disaster and imminent character death by poking holes in Siobhan’s cunning plan. Andrew took a bullet for Bridget. Clearly he’s not going to jail for her murder any time soon. So, what’s the new plan? Or are they just going to keep waiting and scheming? Man, even he’s bored with this show. He tells her that Arbogast should be the one to blow the whistle. Andrew still goes to jail and she can reclaim her life. As for the little detail of the money she’s been siphoning from the company for living expenses, she’ll just have to make do with whatever she has. It’s not about the money anymore, it’s about the life they can have together. Siobhan is all like, ‘Yeah, but it’s also about the money. And seeing my sister dead, so.’

Juliet pays a call to her mother, but she’s not there willingly. After running away to the Hamptons, Andrew insisted she apologize in person. She also makes a plea to Catherine to return the purloined settlement money. Martin/Charles is struggling, and investors are anxious now that Olivia has lammed it. Andrew sold the loft and he’s making noises about selling the house in Palm Springs too. Oh noes! Not the Palm Springs house! #richpeopleproblems. The property may not hold any meaning for Catherine, but they spent every winter of Juliet’s childhood there. She really loves it, which is why she deleted the email from a potential buyer – Tobias Schecht. When Juliet drops the name, you can all but see the cartoon dollar signs cha-ching in Catherine’s eyes, although she denies knowing who he is. IT’S JUST AN INTERESTING NAME THIS TEA IS DELICIOUS. Juliet proposes that Catherine buy the house instead. Andrew gets his money back and the house stays in the family. Catherine should have no problem explaining where the 10 million came from. Just lie. “You’re really good at that.”

Catherine meets with Tobias, passing herself off as the current Mrs. Martin, and gets right to the point. She challenges that it’s his love of mid-century modern architecture that’s spurring his interest in her desert property. It’s not about the land; it’s about the “energy rich wind” passing through it. Personally she finds wind turbines very sexy. Catherine drops by the penthouse later that evening to announce that sweet old Aunt Miriam dropped dead and left her with a sizable inheritance. Shall they agree on 3 million for the Palm Springs property and call it a day? Andrew gruffudds right through her offer. He pours them both a drink as they reminisce about happier times spent together as a family. She goes in for that top of the hour kiss, which Andrew returns-ish – I mean, his lips seem to be saying yes, but his body language is GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF ME!! He relents though on Palm Springs. If she makes him a fair offer, he’ll sell her the land.

The next morning Catherine confirms with her lawyer that 10 million has been wired to Andrew before meeting with Schecht to close the second sale. Andrew is with Tobias waiting for her. YES! Juliet told him everything the week before – at Bridget’s urging. He was terribly gruffudded by the betrayal, but in the end father and daughter were united by one thing: “How sick of you we are.” Double crossing her was a real family effort. BURN!

In an abandoned building n the Bronx, Batmanuel puts his plan to trick Bodaway into believing Bridget is dead into motion. He shows Bridget where they’ll stage her ‘body’ and sets up the camera. She takes a call from Solomon while a sniper takes position in a building across the street. He can’t get a clear shot, so he quickly breaks down his rifle and switches to something smaller and more personal. Just as Batmanuel is ready to call ‘action’, he gets a call with the coroners report, because apparently suspended agents are still on that phone tree. The guy in the shallow grave died before Andrew was shot. That means someone else wants ‘Siobhan’ dead. As he says the words, Bridget sees the gunman in the doorway. Shots are fired and Bridget appears to take a hit as she dives for cover. We get the call back shot of her body on the mattress … and then she blinks. She buys Batmanuel enough time to creep up on the hit man and take him out. Good luck explaining this to the cops. Batmanuel pulls the man’s mask off, and Bridget recognizes him as the guy who tried to kill her in Episode 3. The dead man’s pocket begins buzzing, perhaps with a call to confirm that the job is done. Batmanuel answers the phone.

Catherine hangs up and sits down hard like the wind has been knocked out of her. She is having a no good, very bad day.