In school, our seniors advised us thus: NEVER agree for an OPEN BOOK TEST (especially by Iyer Sir). If you think that the answer is in the book and the test is all about how fast you can find the answer, and copy it to the answer sheet, you are completely wrong!

I am thankful to god that I am done with school. At least once a fortnight, I get exam nightmares where I enter the class and the exam is about to begin, and I find out that I have prepared for a completely different subject.

Traffic has become so horrible that we can’t even look towards the temple while driving. Earlier, you could stop in front of a temple and say the stotra of that particular god/dess. Kaligaala!

***

On the way to office, I saw Upendra’s ‘Topiwala’ posters in reverse but title in the same order. Another gimmick! And the tagline is catchy: Thale Illadavrigalla!
‘A’ is still talked about for its creative tagline: Buddhivantarige maatra!

I don’t know what happens after we die. But of one thing I’m sure: The dead have an access to Facebook and Newspapers. Because those who pay tributes, write it in direct speech (directly to the person who has expired).

***

A popular quirk during primary school days: GREEN TOUCH !!

***

Grandson and Paati went to a Mall.
Grandson entered Armani shop.
Paati followed without noticing the board.

Grandson: Paati, wait here. Will visit the next store and be back here in Armani.
After waiting for 45 minutes, Paati called her grandson on his mobile: Yennada, you told you will be back in Ar-mani!

***

Most of the Law and CA firms have the same name twice: Eg.: Keshav & Keshav. Sharma & Sharma. Mohan & Mohan, Kumar and Kumar etc. etc..!

***

What is the difference between me and Vani Murthy ?
I love posters. She, Composters.

***

Simple Interest: People with simple interests in life – like Coffee, newspaper, good food…

Compound Interest: People who are only wanting to buy property and build a compound around it.

***

By 1985, PB Srinivas was 55 years old, and sang rarely. But this number that he sang for ‘Bettada Hoovu’ is a gem. His voice suits perfectly to that of the teacher’s expression. The line when he sings “Olle maathugalaadisu, Olle kelasava maadisu, Olle daariyalemma nadesu, vidyeya kalisu“, brings tears in my eyes.

Match-fixing is not new to Indians. Elderly women have been known to fixing matches in India for ages.

***

Lost PBS last month. Now TMS. Both had lent their voices to Dr.Rajkumar in the early part of his career. The song ‘Raajara Mahalinali’ is a famous TM Soundararajan number sung for Annavru for the film ‘Simha Swapna’ (1968). TMS first sang for Raj in ‘Premamayi’ (1966).

Most of us have seen at the end of any emailer:
• Sent from Samsung Galaxy Note
• Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel
• Sent from Samsung Mobile
• Sent from my Nokia phone
and so on

Imagine these in the ancient times:
• Sent from Carrier Pigeon
• Sent from Racing Homer
• Sent from American Show Racer
• Sent from Homing Pigeon
• Sent from Pigeon Racing
• Sent from Release Dove
• Sent from English Carrier
• Sent from Passenger Pigeon
• Sent from Cloud Messenger
• Sent from Cloud Meghadooth®
• Sent from Megha Sandesha®
• Sent from Smoke Signal Yamana
• Sent from Long Distance Smoke Signal®

***

When my parents got married, out-of-towners who couldn’t attend sent telegrams. When father passed away, people sent faxes. When mother expired, email messages. For my marriage, friends sent SMSes. When my son was born, people wished us using instant messaging on social media.

What will be the next generation of messaging?

***

Hotels, Temples and Beauty Saloons: 3 things that you’ll find on most roads in Malleswaram today!

***

Two foreigners visited the temple at Kashi where they heard the ‘Annapoorna Stotra’. As the stotra came to an end, one told the other: Didn’t I tell you, there are lots of curries in India?

***

Markandeya challenging Yama… we all know. But after hearing to his composition “Chandrashekara Ashtakam”, I got to know Markandeya did not like YAMAHA too… coz after every stanza, he asks: “Why Yamaha?”

***

ATMAVALOKANA was organised and invites were distributed. People were surprised that the organiser and venue was a Bank. Only after the function started, most of the audience got to know it was ATM Avalokana!

5th Standard was when Ink Pens ‘officially’ came into our life! You had to earn a ‘Hero’ pen, which was never bought. Until you earned one, it was some local pen, which invariably leaked. Hence a blotting paper or a piece of cotton cloth).

***

One family from Mysore has the pride of writing and printing Panchanga continuously for the past 126 years. The Vontikoppal Panchanga was started by Siddanthi Tammaiah Shastry in 1887-88. Presently, the fifth generation of the family is carrying on the work. Vontikoppal Panchanga is the first in the world to bring out a Panchanga exclusively for America.

***

Rewind back to the ’80s: There was a mad man called Manikya near my cousin’s place. He was not totally mad. He used to do jobs like cleaning the garden etc. But the interesting part was that after doing the job, he used to ask for a brand and crisp 5 rupee note. It HAD to be crisp, just like you get in RBI. A soiled note would irritate him completely. He often used to tell us kids (then) that his wife ran off with MGR.

Why did I remember this? My son is learning for his Kannada test tomorrow. And he has a sentence. “Maatu Maanikya”!

Right from childhood, Bengluru born Shaiju Kutty is very fond of his mother and the Tea she prepares, so much so that he becomes an expert Tea maker. Seeing her son’s interest in Tea making, she helps Shaju to set up a Tea shop in a layout where Mallu kutties are in majority.

Aside: Was about to share this picture on June 25th, last month, to commemorate India’s first WC triumph. Right then, got a call from my son’s school that he had a fall and has a dislocated bone. The cast will be removed tomorrow. He thus ‘single- handedly’ completed his first Unit test in flying colours!

On CNBC Awaaz, every night you can watch Awaaz @ 9 (in Hindi).
On our roads, every day and night you can watch Awaaz 24/7 (all languages).

***

I regret to inform that my uncle Sri B R Chandrashekhara Rao, Retired Teacher and Former Headmaster of National High School, Basavanagudi, Bangalore, passed away this morning at 11.15am at his residence. Fondly known to many of his students as BRC, he was known for his inimitable voice that commanded respect. He was a strict disciplinarian and was a stickler to perfection. Everyday, he wore white bush shirt and a crisp dark trouser, neatly pressed. And it was full navy whites on Saturdays. A man of principles and integrity, BRC represented the values NHS stood for. Students really loved him and felt it a blessing to have him as a teacher and NCC officer.

May the departed soul rest in peace.

***

All the MODIs that I have heard, seen and read about (in chronological order)

***

A Manipuri will surely appreciate that there is a Mary Kom Ba temple in our city!

I liked this 62 second video for the mood-setting instrumental bgm. It was like the Team Facebook telling me ‘Thank you’!

***

ಚಿಕ್ಕ ವಯಸ್ಸಲ್ಲಿ ಅಜೈಲ್.
ವಯಸ್ಸಾದ ಮೇಲೆ ಫ್ರಜೈಲ್.

***

No one can encourage and shower praises like our beloved TIGER Pran! Dear Sir, a heartfelt thanks for all those words of encouragement, likes, comments, positive words, appreciation, support, thoughtfulness and most importantly, for your time! Thank you very much from all of us at Muktabalaga, and from everyone in the social media network to whom you have had a kind word to say! You deserved this long back. Sorry for the delay. – Regards, Bellur
[Needless to say, we hope to see more and more of your comments, likes and shares]

Flex banners at many traffic signals has a picture of Dravid and a message saying “When on the road, always say Pehle Aap”.

Just wondering if Dravid is an AAP member!

Imagine two very generous drivers – one on a Bolero, and another on a Scorpio, meet near an intersection somewhere in the interiors of N.R. Colony. One says “Pehle aap”…the other says…” no sir, pehle aap”…goes on and on… neither of them moves ahead…because they want to follow the PEHLE AAP rule. Result: Traffic jam because of Jammy!

The strong smell of crackers have already started spreading across my street. I love the smell of crackers. Just like I love the aroma of sizzling hot Bhajjis, fresh brewn coffee, biscuits and cakes, sweet smell of the soil after a shower, the fresh scent from a new notebook page, the holy smell of Sambhrani smoke, the healing smell of Vicks inhalation, the strong smell of Pakodas emanating from a roadside stall, the masculine smell of Petrol, Dettol and the fresh smell of wood at a carpenter’s workplace… the list is endless.

In my childhood days, every year I used to ask my father why he never bought me crackers. He would tell me that my last uncle would get a few for me. And that would be the end of the argument. A small packet of select crackers would what my uncle get every year until I entered the teens. Seeing him on the festival day with a cover of crackers was itself thrilling! Till I was six or seven years old, he used to light the atom bombs and hydrogen bombs. Before he left, I would have almost burst most of the crackers – keeping some inside a coconut shell, some inside an old Dalda Dabba and some in a rat hole. My grandmother would shout “Keep a few for Tulasi Habba”. Hesitantly, I would keep 3 flower pots, 2 Sursurbatthi and 4 Bijlis. And on the day of the Tulsi Habba, it would have become 1 flower pot, 1 sursurbatthi and 1 bijli.

Collecting the left over patakis after the festival from across the street was a festival in itself. And only a select few (read the ‘unfortunate few’ who had no family backup to buy crackers) would be assigned the task of collecting them ‘coz they had to have an eye for detail, and be sharp in identifying the potential fellas who had escaped getting fired! It required some amount of experience to segregate noisy fellas from the ‘tuss’ fellas. The slightly scared boys who some of us always thought had secret plans to score better marks than us and who still wanted to be a part of ‘Operation Diamond Rocket’ were supposed to collect the gun capes that had missed the trigger – these capes would now have to face the ignominy of getting smashed by a crude shaped stone from a member of our enemy camp. Hearing some totally different sounds, seeing the rockets take off horizontally on the deserted roads, and the sense of accomplishment after seeing all crackers totally burnt to ashes was pure fun! It was complete value for money. By the end of this exercise, our hands would have all become silver colored. And our clothes would smell of patakis for atleast another day.

Fast forward. Last week, after he bowled the third delivery, my son wiped the sweat on his forehead and made it clear that he wanted the crackers by Wednesday. But I told the festival was only on Friday. Today afternoon, he called me when I was busy choosing a font for a poster design and demanded an explanation as to why his task was not completed in time. He anyway gave instructions as to what crackers we needed to buy at least by Friday early morning.

Different eras. Same scene. The only difference is – I used to ask my dad as to why he never bought me crackers for the festival, and this fellow asks why I never buy crackers until the day of the festival.

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