I actually went ahead and watched this one, after thinking I wasn’t going to no matter what. The reason for that is merely pure curiosity because, when Tom Six made The Human Centipede (First Sequence) last year, that film achieved a really particular position in the cultural zeitgeist, as everyone seemed to be aware of it and it was kind of like a dare to watch it, a film about a mad German doctor who kidnaps tourists and then turns them into a centipede by surgically attaching them anus-to-mouth. I didn’t watch that first one last year because I didn’t want to, it didn’t classify for my 2010 rankings and to this day I have no idea how I would grade it because it’s the kind of film you don’t watch to say it’s good or bad, it’s just a really bizarre and grotesque film for you to just experience what such a crazy director can come up with.

After that first one started becoming such a weird kind of hit, not because it made money but because people talked about it, Mr. Six started coming up with ideas for a more disturbing sequel to it which, in his words, would make the first one seem like My Little Pony when compared to this one. So I decided I would watch that sequel, that I would classify it for my 2011 rankings, and true to my word, just a bit over a month after its release, I found myself watching The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence). And look, it’s a fucking horrible film. There’s really no other way to put it.

Seriously, I hated the experience of watching this one. Not because it was super shocking or disgusting as hell, which it was, but because there’s just absolutely nothing here than can excuse this film being made in the first place. I get why the first one was made, you had a director that wanted to be original and give us a horror movie experience the likes of which we’ve never had before, and no matter what you thought about the film itself, he certainly succeeded in that respect. This time around, however, he’s made a film that does absolutely nothing to be original, but instead just indulges in all kinds of excess gore and it just makes me sick, literally, to have watched this film. With the first film Mr. Six was trying to be provocative, now he’s just being offensive if you ask me, making an ugly film that in no way resembles any kind of art form he may want to pass it as.

There’s no doubt in my mind that this film will still have its supporters and grow into some kind of cult film with people getting together and see how long they can go without making some kind of noise in disgust at what’s on their screens. But those people should know better, should to stick to that first film in which Mr. Six made some smart and interesting choices as far as angles and editing and lighting to show us his perverted fantasy, because that film can entertain if that premise is somehow your particular cup of tea, now it just felt as though the director got a bit full of himself and made this film feeling really smart about it. I really disliked this experience, not because it was more intense and disgusting as the first one, but because there was nothing interesting to take from it, not as a movie, not as escapist entertainment; it was just there trying to make me puke, and, to its credit, it nearly succeeded.

Laurence R. Harvery plays the ugly and fat man doing the disgusting handiwork this time around, and I guess he must be a good actor because he’s incredibly believable as such a repulsive man that you can’t help but loathe every single second of the movie; the sweat in his horrible face, the eyes as he watches his prey who he will then beat and take to a warehouse in which he’ll convert them into the titular monster, it’s all disgusting to watch. In a nod to himself because he’s full of his ego, Mr. Six makes this psycho get inspired by watching the original film, and to keep going with that whole meta aspect to it all, he gets the original film’s lead actress to come over for a fake audition, only to get her to be part of the centipede herself.

There are some scenes here that are just awful to watch because they’re so sickening. To start with, this guy isn’t a surgeon like the protagonist of the first one, so he attaches the mouths to the anuses using a stapler, so you know he’s incredibly out of his mind. Just listen to his creepy laugh as the film climatic moment happens, it’s really unnerving stuff. Another person who’s maybe out of his mind is Tom Six, I mean I realize he probably isn’t and knows full well what he wanted to achieve with this film, I just think that’s a really disgusting thing to want to achieve. I don’t know why I watched this one, I regret it, it’s not an extreme horror movie experience at all, it’s just an exercise in sadism caught on film.

Les Misérables is a bit too over-the-top and pompous, but it’s still seriously well-made, with a passion and energy that translates to the performances (with one critical omission) even if it doesn’t always do the same with the vocals. Read my review for it here.

Zero Dark Thirty, Kathryn Bigelow’s follow-up to The Hurt Locker is an undeniable masterpiece, a film that’s both disturbing and 100% necessary, the most vital film about post-9/11 America. Read my review for it here.