Friday, February 8, 2019

We think 2018 was a fine year for hope and jobs - probably the finest since back in Gulf War times - while it was an adequate year for cash as well.

But speaking of that, we have some huge news: So our neighbor's preparing to move out, and the other day, he casually mentions that he doesn't know what to do with this surplus of hope, jobs, and cash laying around in his backyard. "I was thinking maybe I should donate them to the Goodwill." But then he offers us first dibs at the stash if we can help him move it over to our garage. He said he'd be happy for us to take it off his hands. Can you believe that? It's the largest stash of hope, jobs, and cash that we've ever seen, all kinda stacked up on one of those 48 x 40 pallets that they have at Costco. And it just so happened that the in-laws' left their forklift in our garage last weekend, so we lugged it over to our place. What luck! So anyway, anyone reading this should feel free to stop over anytime if you guys could use any of this stuff. It's a pretty sweet collection of hope, jobs, and cash, and there's more than enough to go around.

58. Nine Inch Nails Bad Witch

Long before we got laid off from Buzzfeed, they posted an "article" stating yet another tired observation relating qualities between Trent from Daria and the lead Nine Inch Nail member (whose name is also Trent). We won't link to the "article" because you know how to use a search engine. What the media doesn't want you to know: Diane Nguyen and Daria Morgendorffer are actually the same person. Mere moments away from breaking this earth-shattering story, we all got laid off from Buzzfeed. Coincidence? http://www.nin.com/nine-inch-nails-bad-witch/

57. Nicki Minaj Queen

That very famous song by Queen "Bohemian Rap-Kitties" "meow-meooowwww just killed a meowww..." Everytime it comes on, we're just like "classic..." and just like nodding with our eyes closed. Classic shit man.

We're surprised we didn't see any 10-year-anniversary thinkpieces on Beyonce's sleeper hit "All the Turkish Ladies."

53. Colter Wall Songs of the Plains

Sing like nobody's listening. That's the outlaw country way. (Actually that's a lie. No one ever said that.)http://www.colterwall.com/

52. Hailu Mergia Lala Belu

We knew it would take a while to get to the front of the line at the DMV so we set up the PA and blasted the fuck out of Lala Belu. No one was yelling "yo shut the fuck up" but instead they were just nodding their heads like "yo mmm yea oh oooh mmmm."Lala Belu by Hailu Mergia

51. David Nance Group Peaced and Slightly Pulverized

50. Yo La Tengo There’s A Riot Going On

You can take Hanukkah out of Maxwell's, but you can't take the Maxwell's out of Hanukkah. Ira, where you at?

49. Bat Fangs Wolfbite

I thought you looked rabid, boy. Now listen close. Get the hell out of my classroom before you infect anyone else with your sickness! You stink of death! Butt-head! This man requires immediate medical attention!Bat Fangs by Bat Fangs

48. Lil Peep Come Over When You’re Sober Part 2

2018 was the year my phone broke, so now Gustav no longer lives in my phone.

47. Exploded View Obey

46. Satanik Goat Ritual & Goat Felch [split EP]

Have you guys seen Kendall Jenner's Instagram poppin' with all these goat sacrifice pics? Satanic virgin goat sacrifice is extremely "in" this year. It's very '90s retro, but definitely on the verge of a huge comeback for 2019. Keep on the look out for this, especially on June 6th at 6AM of this year: the 18th year after the start of the 3rd millennium. Stake my career on this prediction. Get lit. Get ready.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFpv7_HVda0

45. Czarface & MF Doom Czarface Meets Metal Face

Babyface meets heelface.

44. Turnstile Time & Space

Complex manifolds.

43. Bongripper Terminal

They put the word "bong" in their band name. It's crazy that no one else has thought of this yet.Terminal by Bongripper

40. Senyawa Sujud

39. Mitski Be the Cowboy

38. Windhand & Satan’s Satyrs [split EP]

37. Mister Goblin Final Boy

When the frustrations of Finals Week get way too intense and overbearing, there's no need to fear: Finals Boy is here. Oh damn tho, R.I.P. Two Inch. We hardly knew yee. The new era is among us. If you'd like to learn more on this topic, check out the Gatworld EP also posted below.Final Boy by Mister GoblinGatworld Vol. 1 by Gatwood

36. Big Ups Two Parts Together

Goddamnit - not again. R.I.P. Big Ups, we will miss the tomfoolery and shenanigans. Also we just found out Jerry's dead. Where to turn in these trying times? Is Phish still around? The dude on the other side of the coffee shop is creepily staring and nodding "yes" so that means Phish still exists. Not sure how that's possible, but w/e.Two Parts Together by Big Ups

26. Amerie After 4AM

A new way to do Sweat/Suit is to just record one LP worth of stuff and then separate the halves into one party EP and one bedroom EP. So with After 4AM, Amerie's either suggesting "two different moods" or "here's a 2nd EP of stuff that didn't fit onto the one that my record label thought sounded better." So After 4AM might be the "b-sides" or "non-album-tracks" block, effectively aligning itself with the superior quality of other mid-2010s "bonus" sections.
Note: We couldn't find an online stream for this EP, but the other one is on Bandcamp. Both are available at her website: http://www.amerie.co/.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQTOT0LCO7Y4am Mulholland by Amerie

24. Jóhann Jóhannsson Mandy (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

23. Surface To Air Missive Surface II Air Missive

More fun facts about Surface:
- One of the band members hails from Stamford, Connecticut, a location that Corey Graves recently labelled "the cultural epicenter of the world."
- Despite much confusion, they are not the same band as Surface To Air Missive from Athens, Georgia.Surface II Air Missive by Surface to Air Missive

22. Ariana Grande Sweetener

Sweetener is here because the stronger half would have been EP of the year - or it should have been combined with the strongest 6 songs from Thank U Next. Are there plans for Walmart to throw together a special 1-disc release of this type (like that weird Use Your Illusion comp that awkwardly kicks off with "Live And Let Die")? Coulda woulda shoulda.

21. Sheck Wes Mudboy

They're bringing back Mudd Jeans but only for boys age 8-14.
(Fun Fact: That kid Kenny who preferred to be called "Buhhd" (Rudy's friend) was in the "Warm It Up" video. It's probably too soon for fun facts about characters from THAT specific show, but Bud and Rudy never did anything shitty. Leave Bud and Rudy alone.)

20. Fritz Welch A Desire to Push Forward Without Gaining Access to Anything

19. Thingy Morbid Curiosity

18. Stove ’s Favorite Friend

If we had to narrow it down to four, our favorite breads of 2018 are probably marble rye, focaccia, olive bread, and (of course) pumpernickel. Baguettes go really well with fresh mozzarella and some olive oil with a dash of salt. It's a tough call though. Really they're all our favorites. It's a tough call.'s Favorite Friend by Stove

17. Lil B Options

"Lil B Pardons Carmelo Anthony: No Curse For Carmelo." Aside from Black Ken, this is his most based mixtape since Hoop Life.

12. Kali Uchis Isolation

11. Mindforce Excalibur

10. Kacey Musgraves Golden Hour

"That's the way uh huh uh huh I like it." - Kacey (with the Sunshine Band)

09. Freddie Gibbs Freddie

Contrary to popular belief, Freddie Gibbs named the title of this album after world renowned physicist Frederick "Freddie" Reines (1918-1998), winner of the 1995 Nobel Prize for the neutrino experiment and intimately associated with the discovery of an elementary particle through subsequent thorough investigation of its fundamental properties.

08. Flasher Constant Image

"Hi this is Flasher and you're listening to our favorite radio station DC101 -- all the hits all the time, with Wendy Williams in the afternoon." DC101 were there for Bad Brains and Fugazi. And now they shall soak in the downpour of Flasher. Sky's the limit.Constant Image by Flasher

07. Earl Sweatshirt Some Rap Songs

More than just a few rap songs. Those final 5-6 minutes deepen and widen the SRS brood. Seldomly explored territory. Every new Earl record creeps further into the zone of barely decipherable pitch-shifted rhymes warbling over samples of cinder blocks dragged over concrete filtered through 3 or 4 Big Muff pedals. Earl is our "Artist of the Decade" thanks to his TWO "Album of the Year" prizes (2010 & 2013), a top three (2015), and a top 10 (this year, duh).

06. Robyn Honey

Concept albums about the bees are typically reserved for only the dopest and most coolest people in the world of audiovisual entertainment. Shia LaBeouf's new movie Honey Boygot picked up by Amazon for a cool $14 Mil while a new documentary about young impoverished beekeepers called Honeylandhelped initiate a GoFundMe to support the film's subjects. 2019 will be the year of the bees, and Hellrazor / Lip Keebler / Dead Wives are humbled to announce that we were years ahead of the curve and influential enough to provide inspiration to good friends like dear Robyn who took our lead and ran with it. We appreciate the nod.

what's it?

TASTE MY KIDS compiles recommendations for a happier and healthier existence, most often in the form of "best-of" lists, youtube posts, album or movie reviews, and various scribblings. We lived on Geocities starting in August 2000. In January 2009, times got tough and posts were on hiatus until a new host could be located. Geocities eventually died anyway, and now we live on blogspot. True story.