I understand that apply different standards to disrupting the lives of Western Europeans and disrupting the lives of Eastern Europeans. Entitlement.

Like 'forcing' them to accept asylum seekers and independent judicial system.

No, these issues are not directly related. If you're hung up on me bringing up the example of Polish eastern border, then the EU was as inflexible about any other Eastern European member's border.
If the EU refuses to compromise with the UK about the trade relations, then the only viable alternative is "no deal". And "no deal" means, of course, a hard border between Ireland and NI. If you want to avoid that, push for the EU to be more flexible while negotiating with the UK.