Burning Leaves and Lead Men

Here is where I discuss my hobbies: Tobacco Smoking and miniature wargaming. Enjoy.

Here are the first of the painted Normans for 1066. Duke William, The Papal Standard, and the Minstrel are included in this batch of six. I have ironed out the kinks in my painting technique--it's four steps now... The shields, as always, are hand-painted. No decals for me!

Every October 14th I have lamented the fact that I haven't wargamed the famous battle of Hastings yet. It has been in the back of my mind so to do for half a decade, and every time I have a bit of extra cash it must go elsewhere, or has gone to feed other projects.

Well, the Hastings bug bit me hard this year, and now I intend fully to make this my next project. So, I have been researching the battle (What else is new?), and have come across conjectural army lists here and there, and many other sundry articles, opinions, etc. on the matter. I not only want to have armies which will function for the battle itself, but for one-off engagements and other historical battles - There is a Byzantine army in my future as well...

I plan to use Old Glory for the majority of the figures, since this seems to be the most cost-effective route, and I prefer true 25mm to the larger 28mm "Heroic-Scale" figures.

I will never purchase a pipe from a cut-rate tobacco shop such as Smoker Friendly again.

The pipe in question is a wonderful little Italian navy-style straight with a nice narrow bowl and a perfectly round heel: in other words a perfect walking pipe for when I'm in the mood for some Virginia flake. And at $22.50, I couldn't go wrong for a new bangabout piece. So, I happily paid the clerk (who seemed less than enthused about her job), brought the pipe home, and put it to my lips in an absent-minded fashion.

The taste it left in my mouth was somewhere between vomit, seawater, and charcoal.

After the initial horror, I put the pipe down and reached for my trusty Italian bent apple, which I hastily filled and lit. Sweet relief.

Upon further research, I found that the pipe, because it had been sitting under ultraviolet lights at the shop for God knows how long and been handled by god knows who, the inside of the shank and stem had oxidised! Ergo, a thorough cleaning, nay, a zealous cleansing was in order. I soaked the stem in hot water with mild detergent for three hours. No dice.

Out comes the bottle of vodka and the extra-rough bristle cleaners. After scrubbing for at least an hour, covering my hands with vodka and oxidation buildup, and ending up with a sore shoulder, I have found that the stem is clean enough to put near my mouth, but the nasty oily smell still remains in my ill-fated new pipe's bowl and heel.

Needless to say, I am disgusted with the entire experience. Tobacco store owners, take heed: If you are going to sell cigarettes, you would take care to make sure that the cigarettes, lighters, cases and other such accessories are taken care of properly, right? Of course you would. Should not the same go for pipes? Should you not also make sure that the pipes that you are charging your customers for are not only well-taken care of, but free of any sort of debris before you sell them? Furthermore, wouldn't you want to make sure that your sales staff knows a thing or two about the product which they sell?

I realize that here in Hillbillicothe, Ohio we briar friars are a minority, but please be considerate of us if you are going to make the pretense that you are interested in catering to our needs.

I will be very upset if I have to throw my new pipe away because of someone else's negligence.

I will be calling the tobacco store tomorrow and lodging a complaint about this. I shouldn't have to do that, but they leave me no choice. Perhaps if this is brought to their attention someone will care enough about the needs of their pipe-smoking clientele to ensure that no one has to suffer this sort of frustration again.

*update* 28 OctoberI got the nasty taste out of the pipe, after another hour or two of scrubbing. I think that if I had had a stronger sort of booze I could have avoided much of the scrubbing...

I wanted to post a final army list for the English, for the rules which I like the most: Being, of course, the old Ral Partha Medieval rules! If any of you have never tried this wonderful little set of rules, please do yourselves a favor. So, without further ado:

Three Leaders: King Edward I, Roger de Bigod, Marshal of England; and Anthony Bek, Bishop of Durham

Forthcoming is a Largish Welsh Marcher Contingent for this army - Which could also stand on its own, should the Earl of Hereford begin to feel rebellious - and the task of deciding which opponent to collect.

After a year and a half of painting whenever the mood should strike, My 13th century English army is finished! Now they can finally leave the shelf next to my desk and crush the foes of house Plantagenet!

The figures are to a man 15mm Essex, mounted on steel bases of 40mm frontage, save for the leaders, which are on squares of mat board.

My camera is still a bit wanting, and as I do not have a gaming table at the moment I was forced to set up on the coffee table... Do ignore the detritus of my life which surrounds the scene!

Here is the Army Arrayed, as it stands:

Here are the Commanders: Humphrey de Bohun, Earl of Hereford; King Edward I; and Anthony Bek, Bishop of Durham:

Here is the flower of English Chivalry:

A close-up shot of a unit of knights. The fellow on the right is Sir Nicholas Tremayne, a relative of mine!

Some Heavy Cavalry from the Welsh Marches. Oddly enough, these were the most photogenic of the bunch!

Alright, enough of the nobility. Let's have a look at the foot sloggers:

Here is a close-up of a unit of levy spearmen, with mercenary crossbowmen behind them:

Edward I's secret weapon: The longbow!

There is a Welsh contingent in the works right now, as well as more Knights and a a whole great clump of spearmen...

Here we have the start of my early Hundred Year's War English army. Two units of English foot sloggers--the miniatures are Essex 15mm. They are organized in 4-base units on 40x20mm bases, four to a unit. They are presented with a piece of fairly cheesy homemade terrain. If any of you super-grognards wish to nit-pick my color schemes or shield patterns, I invite you to do so, as I have yet many more of these fellows to paint!

It's true-these fellows won't win me any painting contests, but I am proud of them, and I look forward to crushing England's enemies with them! Of course, the knights will get all of the credit, though, won't they...