April 9, 2013

A four letter word.

Snow. I hate that word right now. Like…hate. I detest, loathe and despise that s-word. Today marks the seventh month of winter in Minnesota. Mother Nature is giving us the middle finger, people I love are going through Hell, my life is chaos and I’m foul…but instead of dwelling on all the crap, I thought that at least for today, I’d try to look on the bright side…find the good. I need the good right now and when I write things down, they tend to be more “true” or at least seem this way. It’s worth a shot.

We are going to get several inches of snow. Bright side: it’s raining before the snow, and we need rain. I’m getting more wear out of my winter clothing. Even brighter side, I started my summer-prep workouts four weeks late this year. My arms aren’t tank-ready and as it appears I’ll have until June before the weather requires a tank top, much less a t-shirt, I’m actually right on track. Oh, and no sun-burns…not yet. I can and do burn in 60 degree April within about twenty minutes. I wear sunscreen everyday and it never matters…I’m still going to fry. This is also a less sun damage and wrinkles kind of bright side and when you’re on the wrong end of 35, that’s a really big deal.

I never see my husband because he works insane hours and I have to handle 99% of what goes on at home. Bright side: We don’t fight much because when we do see each other, those petty things don’t seem to matter. His working this way also means that he feels fulfilled and I’m thankful he finally has a career he can be proud of on all levels. I also get to take care of things around here my own way, which I actually prefer, no matter how much it annoys me day-to-day. Bonus bright side: Bonuses.

I have no social life because I am always driving my children around to sports, friends, sports, school, dates and sports. Bright side: I have four healthy and active children. I’m on the tail-end of this mom-chauffeur thing and I know that I’ll miss it all…someday. Everyone says so. Then again, they all also said that childbirth was “a good kind of pain” and that once I got through the two and three-year old phase it would get easier…so we’ll see.

Speaking of children, they have, all four in their own way, been a challenge these past few months. Bright side: So far, challenges met. Note to God, Karma, the World: This is not a challenge/dare to make it harder. Brighter still, I’m pretty sure that based on how we’ve addressed these issues, we’ll be in a better place with each of them in short order.

This past year I’ve been re-examining my relationships with people. I’ve lost a few along the way. Bright side: I offered forgiveness and asked for it from the people and situations I needed. Some worked out, others didn’t, and in the end at least I know I’ve done what I can do. No more loose ends and way less drama. Good things.

I’m sure that within a few weeks I’ll be back to complaining. I know that so many have such larger problems…so many near and dear to me are dealing with things far, far worse. I hate that I can’t fix it for them and that right now I don’t even know how to make it easier. I get that I don’t really have the right to complain. That said, I know I will. In a month or two I’ll be dying of heat, sun-burned, annoyed that all I do is drive around and work and someone will have royally ticked me off and I’ll fall back into my whining ways…but for today, it’s all about the positive. And that’s all any of us can really expect, right? One day and one moment at a time, to enjoy what we can and we what we have…even if today that is the forecast for a foot of snow in April.