Adopters who breast-fed

There are as many ways to bond as there are mothers. Consider the safety of a strong hug, the trust of mutual eye contact or the intense connection of breast-feeding.

And while we often associate nursing with biological parenting, an adoptive mom needn't have had breast-feeding experience nor even to have been pregnant to do so.

For the following women, nursing was an intricate part of becoming a mother to adopted babies.

Nurturing a preemie

Breast-feeding didn't work out when Maripat Oliver of Bolingbrook tried to nurse her biological children. And, due to the children's ages and circumstance, she didn't try to nurse two of her adopted children. Yet, she did breast-feed son David, who was premature when she adopted him at 2 weeks old.

"He was so tiny. That's why I decided to nurse him," Oliver said. "I used my breast as a pacifier."

Although her milk didn't fully come in, she did produce droplets. She supplemented with a friend's breast milk and formula. "It was a nurturing and bonding thing for him and me."

Hope through tough times

Although there are plenty of ways to bond with an adopted or biological baby, Mindy Frank of Green Bay wanted to give daughter Maisie the same nutrition she gave her two biological sons.

"It was really important to breast-feed because I didn't have the nine months of pregnancy to bond," Frank said. "One of the reasons for adoptive breast-feeding is for bonding, and we couldn't be closer."

Maisie was only 48 hours old in February 2007 when she became the daughter of Frank and husband Tim. Frank was certainly prepared - - with 3,000 ounces of stored breast milk.

Nearly two years earlier, Frank started an accelerated induced-lactation protocol: taking a combination of birth-control pills and Domperidone.

Usually women don't need two years to begin protocol-based milk production, but Frank continued her preparations even as several adoptions fell through. "I continued to pump 1 1/2 to two years. All these adoptions kept falling through, but I had hope," she said.

For Frank, the benefits of breast milk were worth the long preparation.

"It has such a calming effect, to breast-feed the baby," Frank said. She added that she exclusively nursed her daughter for 10 months.

In the tradition

Breast-feeding was a major consideration when Molly Zuehlke of West Bend, Wis., decided to adopt domestically.

"I couldn't imagine parenting without nursing. Where are you supposed to put the baby when he's crying?" said Zuehlke, who was still nursing her 18-month-old biological son Kohler when she and her husband adopted Tatum.

Zuehlke was nervous about sustaining her milk supply. However, "within two days, there was nothing to worry about." During the first week, she took the herb fenugreek to make her breasts feel fuller.

The Wisconsin mom sees herself as part of a long-established practice: "Until 100 years ago or less, the only way for kids to live was nursing. I felt like I was carrying on the wet-nursing tradition."

She was proud to have exclusively nursed Tatum for 4 months, and, with solids until he turned 17 months: "Having that closeness and connection made it more real."

Meeting his needs

Similar to Zuehlke, Jennifer Leverett Dunn was nursing her 3-year-old biological son Elias when she and husband Thomas Leverett domestically adopted 12-day-old Corey.

"I believed really passionately in the health benefits of nursing. The immune benefits; breast milk is so digestible," said Dunn, who with Leverett has a blended family of eight children.

After the couple passed a home study that was required by their adoption agency, Dunn rented a hospital-grade breast pump and pumped four times a day, in addition to nursing Elias.

While pumping produced only 1 to 2 ounces at a time, she froze any breast milk she could. Four months later, she was able to send her frozen supply to the foster family taking care of newborn Corey.

After the legal hearing that placed Corey in her custody, "I started nursing right away, next to the judge's chambers. He latched right on. And we were off and running."

The first night, she supplemented with frozen breast milk. "After that, I didn't need it." She exclusively breast-fed until Corey was 6 months. Corey will turn 3 next month, and Dunn is still nursing him when he's upset or at night.

Dunn is convinced of the benefits: "[Corey] has been in day care since he was 15 months and is never sick. He is just so healthy."

Still, she added, "It took quite a while to feel comfortable nursing in public because we are a different race. And I was worried what other people would think. But you get over it. It was more important that I be able to meet his needs."