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According to the Food Administration (FA), certain segments of the population show an aversion to vegetables, especially young children who try and hide them under the table or feed them to the dog. It can also be psychologically detrimental to sit at the table for countless minutes until you finish your vegetables. Eating anything that is green or orange and cold is cruel and unusual punishment. An anonymous source adds, “Vegetables should never be eaten by anyone at any time anywhere.”

Some vegetables contain glucosinolates that produce a bitter taste, especially to those people who have a bitter taste receptor gene variation. Those individuals with this variation are more sensitive to bitter flavors. In other words, vegetables will taste ickier to some people than others. It all depends on your genetic makeup.

Vegetables are also grown in dirt and scientific studies have shown that dirt is very dirty. People have always been told to wash their hands before dinner, so it makes no sense to wash the dirt off your hands and then eat something grown in dirt.

Of course, this is all an April Fool’s joke. Vegetables are an important part of any balanced diet. Eat healthy and put a bit of green in your diet with CashCrate too.