Storm Clouds Gather

‘IT’S not said if the photograph of a waterspout lurking off the Welsh coast was taken by a CCTV camera, but whoever is responsible, it does make for a nice shot.

”And here’s its spout…”

So good is it that both the Telegraph and Times have obtained the photograph of the towering column of spiralling air that whipped up the Bristol Channel yesterday, lifting spray 50ft above the sea.

An early Government report, leaked onto the Internet, says that the air was intended to slap into the British mainland, killing us all in a tidal wave of oil, water and immigrants.

But try not to worry because, if that’s true, the water will be useful in putting out the forest fires that one group of Swiss scientists tell the Telegraph are set to sweep across Europe.

The warming planet will also lead to water shortages, crop losses and heat-related deaths.

But until we find Saddam Hussein’s weather machine, the shift in climate is inevitable. And since we are no nearer to finding that device than we are to finding those other WMDs, it’s best to be prepared.

The message is to cover yourself in a layer of oil and condition your skin with repeated visits to the sunbed parlour – sleep under one if you can.