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What is happiness? Damned if I know! This is another one of those probing inquisitions one could sling ink at for years, ignore, or just write a bunch of words, and pray someone understands it.

However; if I were going to attempt to write a book, a good basic definition of happiness would have to be decided upon…being my usual thorough self, and expending months (well, maybe not that long) at the library, on the web, and studying my thesaurus, the decision was made. A basic, realistic, and detailed acknowledgment of happiness is experiencing gratification as we let the good times roll in the barnyard, and not come to grief in the cow crap. Good one, isn’t it?

Vultures are elated when they eyeball their daily feast of road kill. Squirrels are contented when they get a nut. A monkey is joyous with a banana. A termite gets all giddy when eating your house; and I’m happy doing anything — almost anything! But when we notice some of the vittles some folks ingest, one just has to wonder what their ancestral connections are with vultures.

Thanks to our military, and many others, we Americans have mammoth options on the menu of happiness…yet; it appears a multitude of us have neglected our capacity to discover a little happiness here and there. There are thousands of opportunities presented to us each day – for instant; an afternoon siesta, doing a good deed, gazing at floating clouds, reading a good book, telling our children we love them, being awed by the stars, complimenting someone, and (after a two week stay), perceiving insufferable in-laws exiting our front door (or back), (or side), (or patio), (or basement) – hell, even a window would work!

Inherently, there are, once in a while, certain inner desires and convictions that tend to incite us to pursue activities that we would love to satisfy – but if we did, we would hate having done it, because our mate would find out, and we would end up face-down in the barnyard again. Ostensibly, our lives are full of love-hate relationships.

For example: reaching out to touch someone, in one sense, it is a very thoughtful and loving gesture. The caress of a loved-one can soothe our troubled mind, which allows us to serenely reflect (for about 5 seconds) upon what we wish to accomplishment – it even causes all of those creepy creatures within us to oooh and aaah, causing a ripple effect, making our eyes roll back into our heads, and transporting us to the land of ecstasy.

Although we all love to reach out and touch someone now and then, we should be absolutely confident they wish to be touch – or they may reach out and slap the hell out of us, sending us to an oral surgeon for a set of full dentures, and not even offer to foot the tab.

When it comes to our feelings, we life forms really get weird. We have the unusual capability to only crave whatever stimulates us to strain, sweat, struggle, and slave like a herd of pack-horses. There’s a lot of truth in the adage “be careful what we wish for, or we might get it.” Everyday; we toil long and hard hours, as we constantly endeavor to impress and attract the opposite sex – shelling out bushels of schillings to pass ourselves off as either Mr. or Miss America. Why? This one I know! So we can have sex! Why? I know this one also! Because it feels so damn good! Why don’t we use a contraceptive? I’ve also got this one nailed! Our brain cells, common sense, and judgmental facilities take a radical nosedive, and vegetate. And before we realize it, we pump out a nest of wee-ones so we can labor at long and hard hours for dozens of more years. Spend a couple of pesos on contraceptives, and save thousands (my son refers to that as a “parent attack”).

Our emotions are very erratic and erotic! They’re painful (a downer), passionate (an upper), paternal (an upper), periodic (in-between), placating (an upper), pugnacious (a downer), prismatic (an upper), primal (depends), and some are profoundly precious (a definite upper). How do we cope with all those emotions? Damned if I know! However, as W.C. Fields put it “Try and try again – then quit! No sense in being a damn fool about it.”

Some emotions are so dour, they are downright depressing. We become so doleful, disillusioned, decomposed, discontented, and disgusted, we forget that 99% of the time, there are always possibilities. We delay contacting those we trust, and professionals. There are two absolutely wonderful, and great reasons for getting in touch with people we trust. Those we trust have the same needs we do, they need to be needed! When we ask their advice, we may not only solve our problem, we also make them feel needed – it’s a win/win situation!

The other reason is that seeking good advice is analogous to deflecting the blow; for then, two minds are concentrating on a positive – trying to solve the dilemma … it’s an instant upper! It reinforces, and upholds our abilities to usurp our anxieties, and become more effective — which means we feel more upbeat and unrestricted, and causes us to set in motion almost perpetual positive feelings toward finding an answer – and that’s a real definite upper!

Temperamentally, we can index our emotions beneath two watchwords: happiness and sadness! Some folks, when we are feeling sad, lay claim to the statement “if not for sadness, we wouldn’t know what happiness is.” Well; one of my many personal adages is “sometimes, things are just the opposite of what I’m told.” If I were happy all the time, I wouldn’t know what sadness is…and I prefer it that way!

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