Please Pass The Butter

One Size Fits Most

There’s nothing cooler than finding a piece of clothing that is exactly the style you were looking for. Euphoria and delight go through your veins while sifting through the clothing racks to find the one that was meant for you. Often fat people realize that retailers may not have their exact size and most fat people understand that. What truly sucks for fat people is finding that all the items are “one size fits most”.

“One size fits most” is the sequel to “one size fits all.” Clothing manufactures needed to find a loophole when class action lawsuits occurred by groups of swollen paunchy fatties who came together on a united front to say “One size does not fit me!” So OSFM was created. When looking through clothing, and coming across “one size fits most” you must make a decision. Are you “most” or are you not? Chances are, if you have to think “will this fit me?”…’one size fits most’ is not for you. One size fits most is a load of crap. It might as well say “if you are looking at this tag put it down and move directly to the camping department to pick up a fashionable blue tarp.” Tarps will work in place of any piece of clothing with a little ingenuity.

It really stinks when a fat person gets a gift that is “one size fits most.” The giver is saying “I got this for you! Put it on, it’s one size fits most!” So the fat person tries it on only to realize that it will not work out, but now feels obligated to wear the garment that is pushing the fabric to the limit.

Unless a fat person is in denial…they should know if they are not in the “most” category. If a fat person attempts to cram their jelly donut thighs into something that is too tight, without hesitation, non-fat associates should help their friend out by saying “that makes you look fat.” This might cause them a second of embarrassment, but it will also make them second guess their decision to wear the article of clothing. We all know that fat people are going to be fat no matter what they wear, but the clothing should not be showing off every single roll they have.

6 Responses

I sell loads of clothing, promotional printed t-shirts and embroidered polo shirts, that kind of thing.

It cracks me up every single time we get to the order stage, and we need to have the sizes…..

There are just tons and tons of stories to tell, from the Factory owner who said, “yeh I’ll take 500 polo shirts for my staff…. do them all XL”, through to the opposite end of the scale…… “So tell me, when you say this polo shirt is XL, is that a Marks and Spencers XL, or a Woolworths XL?”.

You know what? They both present problems… and I’m not sure which is worse/better??

with all our our options of where to buy clothes, go to another store or manufacturer and get over it. These types of lawsuits give the US a bad name. Capitalism means you are free to shop elsewhere…so take advantage!

anyone that has time and energy to sue over such a ridiculous thing needs to put things in perspective, what about all the starving children? the illiteracy rate? failing economy?

What bothers me is the hats. I’m 5’9, and those ‘one size fits most women’ hats. If you buy ‘one size fits most’ tights you can jam them on, because they stretch, but those hats aren’t getting any bigger.