The Hours

I’ve wrestled with a demon for 22 years. Its tactics are as insidious as they are seductive. And more often than not, I’ve defeated it. This demon is procrastination, and the bursts of self-discipline it took to keep it in check – well, talk about victory over the grave, those breakthroughs were.

Then something happened...I found realjock. The demon won.

At my gym, they have an internet facility. How much gym time gets eaten on one of those PCs? 20 minutes, easy.

My family advised me to move back in with them until I’ve finished studying. This is a typical day with them:

Mother (clears throat): “Siya, since you’re hogging the PC, won’t you make my online booking for that flight to Japan for me?”My muttered response response: “Haven’t you considered swimming there?” omg, he’s added me to his hotlist!

Father: “Are you sure it’s within your financial means to handle the phone bill, with all the time you spend on the web?”My response: “It’s fine, I’ll sell off some clothes and my cell.” It’s been 15 minutes, why the heck hasn’t he responded to my mail?

Sister: “Siya, I need to talk to you about something important.”My response: “Call a helpline, I’m bad at the listening thing.” That guy completely misunderstood my comment on that thread!

The documents I’m supposed to mail to the university? Gathering dust. And don’t talk to me about work. I’m typing this at work.

SOOOOOOOO…

1) How much time do you spend on this or any other gay male lifestyle-related site?2) At which point does it take from quality time with your family? After how many hours can you concede you’re abandoning loved ones?3) Does it take from quality time with your work (if it can be called that)? After how many minutes/hours online would you admit that you’re shirking your work duties?4) At which point does it take quality time from real life? How many hours online are a sign of an imbalance?5) Do you ever stay on the PC at the exclusion of dreadfully boring errands? 6) Are self-discipline and time-management related to age, or to another basis of awareness?7) Is there a distinct possibility that something useful and productive could come out of the time I spend on this (or any other gay male-related) site? How do I make the most of the time spent online so it isn’t spent in vain?

Well let me say I enjoyed how you prefaced your questions... it was well done.... the "demon" mastered until you discovered RJ (and other like sites)... LOL

Well let me say I spend the majority of my time along these lines on RJ, probably too much time, but I do enjoy reading the articles and checking out forums. It doesn't take away from things I should be doing, I'm too self disciplined for that, but it can be a distraction (in a good and bad way) at times...LOL).

I do have RJ on my computer at work in my inner office, sometimes several hours pass before I get back to it depending on my responsibilities in my office.

Participation in this sort of thing doesn't take me away from other activities unless I allow it to. It has happened, usually on a weekend.

And yes, you can have many productive outcomes from participation here...meeting friends and potential relationships, expanding your horizon on a host of exercise, fitness and lifestyle topics....

Your problem's not unique, to say the least. Salon ran a piece recently on a very popular software, Freedom, that disables your internet connection for the amount of time you program it to. I downloaded it, but have never used it.

Luckily, I have two boys that compete for the attention I give the internet. My oldest, 5, will pull the plug right out of the wall if I've been on too long. I appreciate that, because I could spend hours on it

Highly addictive personality here. The only thing that can drag me away from RealJock these days is the gym. But I've been addicted to it before and then stayed away for a year. I can quit any time I want!

First, I'd say RJ is probably more useful than gay male porn. Socializing and exchanging ideas is marginally productive in the long run, much more so than online sex or phone sex or anything related to masturbation. You learn things and exercise your critical thinking skills, get ideas and inspirations.

I don't spend any time on facebook, I think it's lame. I used to spend upwards of 2-3 hours each working day on a climbing web site several years ago. Last year I had to devote more time at work so I stopped. Now most of that time is on RJ.

I used to be a procrastinating type but I have worked on it for years. Now when there is a high priority item, be it work, family, hobby projects, I do it first. Spending time on gay sites will always be the lowest priority for me.