The BrikWars Forums

The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.You must talk like James T. Kirk in this forum at all times. Leonard Nimoy is fine too.

Deep beneath the surface of Refuge, science is happening..."Report.""We've confirmed that there are traces of Deadly SpaceMan DNA on the gyro pistol you recovered. Bio-scans were able to assemble a mostly-complete genome, and from there we could clone a live specimen. You arrived just in time -- I'm about to open the containment vessel. Please stand back..."

fssssss...

"Wha... where am I?... is that a --"

"WAAUUUGH!"

"The fuck are you doing? You better stop this bullshit right now, or my chainsaws and I are gonna-"

*pew pew*

"ohcrap-"

"EEeeeeaaaargh!""The fuck?"

"He's going into convulsions! Quick, get him into that life-support suit, or he'll die!""Why should I do that? He'll just attack us again.""Mr. President, do you know how much money you've sunk into this project? If we try to clone another one, we'll push the whole country over the Fiscal Event Horizon!""Shit, really? All right, let's save this poor bastard..."

"Say, why does he need a life support suit anyway? I thought these guys kicked ass. That was why I had you clone one of them in the first place...""His genetic code was incomplete. He'll still be a powerful combatant, but he needs the suit to regulate his metabolism.""OK, but why does it have a jet pack?""Why shouldn't it have a jet pack?""... OK, you got me."

"All right, listen up. I know things got off on the wrong foot, but you'll be better off working with us than against us. There is an enemy fleet blockading this planet, and we need you to destroy it --""You fool. I could easily slaughter everyone in this facility and then move on to destroy that fleet. Your offer means nothing to me."

"Let me sweeten the deal then. Dr. Scientist!""That's not my name, Mr. President-""Whatever. Go get the project from Lab 4.""Are you sure that's wise?""Did you forget I'm the President? I can have you summarily chainsawed, you know. It's in the Constitution somewhere.""On my way!"

"Here you are...""Ooooh... shiny.""Yep. And it's rigged to self-destruct if I die or this facility is destroyed. But if you're willing to join us against the Britannian fleet, then it's all yours."

"Very well. I accept your offer.""Awesome. I'll take you down to the war room and brief you-""No. Give me a squad of your best men and a fast transport. I do not need your pathetic plans and strategems -- I can complete this mission myself."

I guess the clothes he was wearing when he came out of the chamber were also part of the life support system or something. Or it's related to the fact that he is an imperfect clone, not quite a full DSM.

Last edited by Theblackdog on Sun Jan 06, 2013 2:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

To elaborate, the T.L.A. has only one planet because they originally lived in a nearby galaxy. When a mysterious evil overran their home galaxy, corrupting and destroying every civilization in its path, the T.L.A. was forced to pack up and flee on a massive fleet of generation ships. Only about ten percent of them survived the trip.