To answer the child I would say "As human beings we have the ability to imagine things that aren't there. I want you to imagine that there is a fluffy bunny in my hands. It has the softest fur you've ever felt. Would you like to pet it ? Is the bunny twitching it's nose ? Do you think the bunny is hungry ? Oh it just jumped out of my hands. Can you find it ? There it is over there sitting next to god. Can you see god with the fluffy bunny ? That is called using our imagination. Was there a real bunny in my hands ? No there wasn't. It was imaginary. When you imagined god holding the bunny, they both were things that you created in your imagination. I can believe in a god if I imagine one in the very same way that I can believe in a fluffy bunny in my hands. Do you understand ?"

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results

I feel for you, Hughsie. I also have a daughter, aged 5, and I don't want to sell her on atheism -- I'd rather that such a decision, like any decision, is hers to make and not mine. However, it pisses me off that my Christian parents keep trying to sell Christianity (as does her mother and her other grandparents).

Earlier today she was asking me to play a game in which I "prayed to find her" while she hid under a chair, and then my prayers would be answered by finding her. I'm so annoyed by this. Not only have people been telling her that prayer is always answered, but she's already starting down that road of making prayer come true so she can credit God.

I don't want to teach her that it's a load of shit, but I'm so angry about my parents not respecting her freedom to decide. She's too young to weigh pros and cons, and will believe anything adults tell her.

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.

Bring atheist pamphlets and hand them out, all the while using a megaphone to shout out your message to the believers.
Unless you think it's not actually your message at all, and just your own personal belief. In that case you don't have to say shit to stay true to it.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison