Saturday, November 28, 2009

I was doing laundry this week and as I separated the clothes I realized that between my daughter and her two beautiful baby girls I had enough pink clothes to do a very large pink load. Who wears that much pink? My daughter and her babies apparently do. Which is rather upsetting to her step-father and I as we tend to dress more on the goth end of the spectrum.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

This picture was taken today of me and my hubby. We've been married two years and he's put up with so much from me. The man deserves a medal. I decided that I would make my New Year's resolutions early this year. I have been horribly depressed and wishing for things that just aren't going to happen. Now that I've finally broken down and admitted I need the hysterectomy I almost feel like I have a weight lifted off of my shoulders. So I decided before I crash every night I'm going to work on the stories I've had sitting in limbo and I'm going to work on my webpage so I can post them somewhere along with this blog. There are other resolutions that I'm not sure I can keep but I'm not going to say them out loud because that way they don't count. Right?

Saturday, November 21, 2009

So I started my period yesterday (bet you wanted to hear that, right?). This is a moment of trauma for me as it is every month. About a year and a half ago my gyno told me that my chances of getting pregnant was slim to none and that I needed a hysterctomy. Of course, my response to that was "I'll show you". I was newly married and even though I'm in my 40's my husband was at the back end of his 20's and had no children of his own. So I thought this would be one of those medical miracle things where I would magically pop a baby out of my butt. Unfortunately it did not happen that way. A year and a half later my time of the month has gotten so bad that I literally cannot function and I lose so much blood that I have become severely anemic. Finally I broke down and I made an appointment with a different gyno. I'm still hoping that he gives me some other options than giving up my dream of having a child with my wonderful Eddie.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

I grew up in Indiana the oldest of three girls. My parents married right out of high school and are still married (go them!!!) The first memory I have is my room in the apartment we lived in when I was very small. All I really remember is the Witchy Poo poster on the wall. That my first memory is of a witch may explain much about me. I went on to be the "smart" one in my family. My sister (a year younger than me) was the pretty one. As if those labels didn't warp us for life. I spent my whole school career quite arrogant in my belief that I was brilliant but completely insecure with my looks. My sister on the other hand knew she was gorgeous but was convinced she was dumb as a stump. She was not..she's just as smart as I was (if I was really smart at all...personally I think I was just a really good faker). I'd like to say I was not a total troll but I never got over my insecurities.

I'm up this morning at 4:00 in the morning because I don't sleep anymore and I'm picking up the toys that somehow escaped their cage in the middle of the night. There is this little pink chick sitting on the kitchen counter so I pick it up to put away and it starts cheeping. The blasted thing is still cheeping almost four hours later. I can't make it stop. If I wasn't already a nut I'd be completely losing it. Would I be a bad grandmother if I went medieval on the toy and chopped it into small pieces?

I keep having these dreams where I find myself naked in public and I forgot to shave my legs. I never seem to worry that I'm naked. The part I worry about is that my legs look like Sasquatch. What does that say about me?

Friday, November 13, 2009

So here goes another weekend. Hopefully one where I dress and shower, especially since I'm supposed to leave the house tomorrow. I love my sushi pajamas but people look at me funny when I wear them out in public. My daughter about broke my heart today. She was talking about moving out and taking the babies with her. She has two girls, one will be two in January and the other is fast approaching six months. Our house if very full but it's wonderful. My living room and kitchen and bedroom are covered in baby toys and I wouldn't have it any other way. Edwin and I are trying to have a baby but I guess we've just about given up. My doctor is pretty adamant that I need a hysterectomy. I've been fighting it because I want another baby. My only child is 21 years old. Edwin doesn't have any children and I want us to have at least one. A girl...and we'll call her little curly red-headed Edwina.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

I just got back from a family gathering. A birthday thing for my nephew and niece. I love them both dearly but I go into these things thinking the only thing I have to contribute is my knowledge of the zombie apocolaypse. Of which I have extensive knowledge and which my family strangely worries about.

I've been trying to read Terry Brook's Shanarra series and so far it's bad. It's so bad there are no words. Well there are words because I'm typing them now but it's bad. When he described the terrible awesomeness of one character I realized that Terry Brooks is really Jack Black in disguise.

Ugg...and not the comfy boots...just uggg...I feel sick. I've been having medication issues among other things. Like IT'S NOT WORKING! It's getting harder and harder to leave the house. Yesterday I didn't change out of my pajamas at all. I just spent all day in bed reading old dooce blogs (Heather you're my hero). If I've already got the winter blahs it is going to be a very long winter.