Wednesday, August 01, 2007

It’s fascinating the way the vultures swirl above the pending corpse of a floundering celebrity. Going in for the kill while a celebrity is down is a great way to pocket a little extra cash and at the same time, get your name out there as a celebrity hanger on. Being a celebrity hanger on is, as we know, the best way to differentiate yourself from the rest of the average humans. If publicists have taught us anything at all it’s that standing next to a celebrity and staring in awe and sycophantic adoration can feasibly pay the bills.

Fox News reports that the paparazzi who were shoved out of the way by Britney’s bodyguard are now preparing to sue her for…unpleasantness or something. They actually reported:Britney Spears threw a baby bottle and threatened two photographers after they took pictures of her leaving a Las Vegas spa, the photographers said in a statement Tuesday.Spears yelled "I am going to kill you!" and cursed at Andrew Deetz, a photographer who says he was beaten by Spears' bodyguard.

Andrew Deetz has, of course, since been living in realistic fear of a rampaging Spears and has been trembling under his bed for days. There’s no way in hell Spears would be able to do anything to him and that’s why this is the perfect opportunity for Deetz to make a little money.

It was the same sort of scenario with the three boys who were in the car with Lindsay Lohan when she was on the war path prior to being arrested last Monday night, Tuesday morning. They came out with a public statement explaining that they wanted her to get help. The Insider reported that they said they, "want Miss Lohan to get the kind of help that her attorney says she wants."

Which is really just nice, polite way of ending a list of demands that capitalize on their situation in proximity to a celebrity who is vulnerable. Not that they don’t deserve some compensation but it’s interesting how quickly the vultures mobilize. It’s just like putting a reverent face on when you walk into church after locking the kids in the basement. Well, sort of. [source]

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About Me

Matt Phillp is an Australian writer who lives in the eye of the hurricane in Brooklyn, New York. He writes about people and the arbitrary nature of culture. Because the world is a complicated place. It's weird.