Help me, please. What’s the news here? That people who live with illness also experience anxiety? That exercise can help alleviate that anxiety?

I felt a particular sense of annoyance with this research when a client told me about an email she got from a co-worker. The email writer sent a link to this study with a note saying that since my client must feel very anxious about her multiple sclerosis symptoms, this is great news. Exercise is the cure.

My client lives with symptoms that are periodically difficult to manage and puts in a minimum of 45 hour/week on her job. She said that although the email writer’s a “jerk”, she wanted to talk about her guilt for not exercising and her paranoia that other co-workers would conclude that multiple sclerosis must be her fault. Can you relate to this?

I read several articles about this research and from what I can tell, the findings say:

Exercise decreases anxiety for those who had not been exercising at all.

Exercising at least 30 minutes a day is optimal.

But even if you can carve out that 30 minutes a day, that’s not the only challenge. You’ve got to figure out what to do and where. Vigorous exercise is rarely an option with debilitating symptoms (cross off that spin class). And with changing symptoms, some days even mild exercise can be a problem.

Additionally, for those who need a class or teacher to stay motivated, there’s the cost. True, running or walking outside doesn’t cost a dime but weather, like illness, is unpredictable. Extremes of any kind – heat or cold – can affect aggravate many health conditions. And there’s ice. Nothing like waiting all day to take that long walk after work but icy streets and bitter cold, especially in the dark, present real danger for you. Not exactly an anxiety reducer, is it?

Consider this. When you’re given suggestions or “solutions” about your health that you didn’t ask for, you’ve got some choices:

You can respond angrily that they don’t understand.

You can wallow silently in self pity and guilt.

You can think about the suggestion, consider the source to decide if you want to respond and consider the suggestion to see if it fits for you.

On another note, a colleague has asked me to post this request:Women business owners: Have you experienced a past personal crisis while running your business and lived through it to tell the tale? If you would be willing to share your story, we would like to interview you for an upcoming book, tentatively titled “When Life Happens.” Your experience and lessons learned can help today’s women’s business owners navigate similar life events. If you are interested in being interviewed, email chris@prioritywellness.com. Put “Share My Story” in the subject line. Chris will respond with an initial questionnaire to assess whether your story is a match for the book. If so, either Chris or her co-author Elli will contact you to schedule a 1 hour phone interview.

About Rosalind Joffe

Comments

I have had Crohn’s disease for 30 years. It’s an inflammation of the intestinal tract so everyone is telling me what I should eat. What they don’t know is that the ravages of my disease have made my intestines so narrow that any fruits vegetables or fibre cause painful and dangerous blockages.

Still I have people insist I should be eating brown rice and broccoli because of something they read online. When they suggest this face to face, I merely smile and say ” Do YOU have time to drive me to the emergency ward today?”
🙂
Sometime, if the person is open-minded I will remind them that every illness in every person is different and what works for some doesn’t necessarily work for all.

As for getting angry, I feel I’m dealing with enough challenges already. I don’t need to walk down the path of negative emotions.

Your last point reflects your strategic thinking and that’s the key, isn’t it? It allows you not to engage in stuff where it will only be hurtful. I’ve often wondered how living with illness from early in life (childhood or adolescence) might influence a person’s ability to cope more easily with the challenges. Thanks for sharing, as always!

I have had fibromyalgia for 20 years so I have heard it all. But exercising with FMS is really tricky. Even just a little can flare up symptoms. Then I developed migraines. That is where I really get the unwanted advice. At first it made me really angry and frustrated, but I think that was because I was in so much pain and was just learning how to cope myself. I didn’t need all these suggestions when I was so lost. So, I isolated myself and read 4 of the top books and studied them all and came up with a treatment plan for me. This was also developed after seeing many of the best doctors.
Now, when I get unwanted advice, I know so much about migraines, that I can look at them and say, “You have no idea what you are talking about”. That usually prompts them to ask, “Oh, really, why?” and then I can start educating them.
Most people just believe what they read or hear on TV without researching it. So, that is where I can give them the facts, because I am big on research. I hate to say it but I have family members who still don’t get it and I realize I will never make them understand because they don’t want to. So, I just smile and laugh. It’s not worth getting upset over. I have one friend who ends her emails and blogs with this quote.
“My debilitating chronic illness is more real than your imaginary medical adivice.” I love that! IT says it ALL!

For me, the exercise advice came from my neurologist, and she does know best. I can’t afford to ignore her, because with Parkinson’s Disease exercise has been shown to reduce PD symptoms.

However, I’m lucky to get up in time to get to work, let alone fit in a morning walk or jaunt to the gym. Finally, after a day of teaching ten-year-olds, then working late to keep up with work-related, endless paperwork and email, I can’t dredge up the energy to exercise.

This is a vicious cycle: exercise would make me feel better, but I feel too tired to exercise.

It sounds as if you feel caught – behind the proverbial rock & hard place. What have you tried thus far to fit the exercise into your schedule? What might you try? You might consider how to look at this differently? Maybe an exercise partner to help you stay on track, work on this with a coach to help you set goals that you can stick to. I know you can do this — but I also know how hard it is!

I feel like I heard it all as well – if I had a dollar for every time someone says “you have back pain, swimming is great to cure that”, I’d probably be able to buy a house by now 😉 The reality is very complex – for some reason, swimming causes awful flare-ups for me where various other forms of exercise (Pilates, even rock climbing) don’t. I don’t get angry, but I go through periods of doubting myself – because of course everyone knows that swimming and hydrotherapy should be great for you. I try to not engage in discussions with people who don’t know me closely, because I know I will only end up being frustrated by saying many “no”s – to many reasonable suggestions that I have tried already, and that haven’t worked for me for one reason or another.

I hate the way they come out with these recommendations as if they’re news. When I got seriously disabled by a brain infection I had those “pat cure” people who suggested yoga — of course, I’d been doing yoga both before and after my attack — it’s a great long term program for both physical and mental health, but no quick cure.

It’s more the spirit of the advice that bugs me — like — oh, if you just try this — super blue green algae, etc., you’ll be fine.
I do dozens of things — and they all help — about 1%. My strategy now is to try not to say anything about my health at all!

Now I’m going to say something that’ll piss off a lot of people with fibro/CFS — yes — diet. I know so many people with these conditions that get very overweight and out of shape — not so much from the inability to exercise much — but because they still eat carbs and sugar — as if they were a well person. I don’t like to lecture people but really altering your diet and trying the mildlest kind of yoga — lilke yoga nicdra — if you’re not willing to do those simple things — I look at some people and I think — you’re not trying to get well (I’m talking about people who don’t work, and have plenty of time to experiment with lifestyle.) But I don’t say anything. I recgonize now those that are trying to get well, and those that can’t dream of giving up their treats — even if it means better health.

Mary, you are right about the diet and exercise. My migraines are very much triggered by foods, so for me, I need to stay on a certain diet or else I will start hurting. This is common for migrainuers but not true for everyone. However, I know that more people who suffer from migraines would do much better if they would eliminate the foods that are definite trirggers, such as wine and chocolate and caffeine. But people just have to find it out for themselves. When I tell them how much better I feel, I hope it will inspire them to try it in hopes it will help them. And I think many people who give advice are wanting to help. Some just know how to give it in a more proper way than others.
But I do hear you on the exercise too. It’s a love-hate relationship. It makes you feel so much better, but it is so hard to get past the pain and finding the time and energy to do it. Start out slowly and build up is my key. Let your body tell you how fast to go.

Here’s the thing about diet, whether we are talking carbs, sugars, caffeine or anything else. There is no perfect solution there, truly. I have a friend who is a migraineur, and chocolate and wine are not triggers for her. Lack of exercise or lack of sleep is. I think one has to be very careful about giving diet on “known” recommendations – just as swimming is not the right thing for me, even if is is known to be for most people, sugar may not be a problem for all fybromialgia sufferers, and wine or chocolate not a problem for every person with migraines.

Pam, I hear you about wanting to inspire people, but consider this. After I hear for 100s time that swimming is helpful, I just get depressed and start thinking that something is wrong with me because it didn’t work for me. Even the best meant advice can be hurtful to someone with a treatment-resistant problem. I usually say something like “I know some things that worked for me/a friend, let me know if you’d like to talk about it sometime” – and then leave it to the person whether they want to hear more. I think this is a safer way to do this, unless you are talking to someone you know really closely and who you are sure would welcome advise.