Devils Advocate – Why Men Peak At 40

More than half a century since the term ‘midlife crisis’ was first coined by Canadian psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques, it’s still a key component of our ageing narrative. It’s assumed that there’s an arbitrary point in our lives at which we must come to terms with our restricted possibilities, physical limitations and the fact that being talent-spotted at Sunday league is now highly improbable.OK, the latter point is valid, but the rest? A nonsense. Worse still, it can quickly become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You’re youthful enough to be considered enthusiastic and driven, but have the experience and knowledge to command respect

Like grey hairs, if we begin actively looking for our limitations, we will surely find them. It’s called confirmation bias – you believe something to be true and so you find evidence tosupport that belief. In reality, your forties are the perfect time to both set new goals and take stock of what you’ve achieved.

Let’s start with work. Forty is the career sweet spot. You’re youthful enough to be considered enthusiastic and driven, but have the experience and knowledge to command respect. According to ONS data, this is the decade at which you reach peak earning power. By this point we also have strong social foundations, providing a self-assurance that wasn’t present in our twenties or even thirties – making this the ideal age to push for a promotion or pitch those big ideas formerly relegated to your iPhone Notes app.

In fact, a study by career development group Zenger Folkman noted a spike in self-confidence in men aged 41-45 (1*). And, according to the journal Personality and Social Psychology, self-belief plays a bigger role in raising social status than talent – though no doubt you have plenty of that, too.But what of that most crucial of commodities, ‘happiness’? A survey of 2000 Brits found reported career contentment, relationship satisfaction and happiness top out between the ages of 38 and 40.

The key to upping your own when setting midlife goals is to work on becoming explicitly aware of your value system – which is harder for men to do earlier in life, when you’re still worrying about whether you can pull off being a fully fledged adult.

Too often we externalise. We want to buy that £9000 aerodynamic road bike to show off, not as a first step toward loftier fitness ambitions. At 40, it’s time to start questioning why you want the things you want. That’s not to say you can’t buy the bike. But buy it because making time for yourself and maintaining health form part of your value system.

After all, it’s easier to do things that make you happy if you understand why they do (2*). As for any losses to your physical prowess, you’ll find there are fewer than anticipated. It’s often not the physical changes taking place which cause issues, but rather our beliefs around them. Some studies show drops in testosterone after 40 are actually caused by a decline in health, rather than ageing itself, and that staying fit can stave off these effects (3*).

Listen to your body – if you’re receiving sure signs to ease up on your training, do just that. If not, press on. Endurance, in particular, can even improve with age. And, free from the insecurities of your twenties and thirties, you can focus more on finding activities that you honestly enjoy, and less about posturing in front of the mirror. Once you know what works for you, there’s no reason to temper your expectations of what you can achieve.

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