Overcoming A Dysfunctional Relationship

swot it away

A perfect tool to help you in that quest is a Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, and Threat analysis. An old business school technique, the SWOT analysis is a tangible way to represent what went wrong in the relationship to help you move on to a better one.

Strengths: What was your positive contribution to the relationship? Be specific.

Weaknesses: What was your negative contribution to the relationship? What do you need to develop to become a better partner in the future? Again, be as specific as possible.

Opportunities: What avenues, if any, could have been explored to salvage the relationship?

Threats: What obstacles do you face in future relationships that may hinder your chances at love? Do you have the required maturity and personality toolkit to make a woman happy for life? What internal factors within your control prevent you from being happy with a woman?

make that list

Take an hour or more to compile your own personal SWOT analysis. Look at it. Study it. Think of it as a relationship audit to help you improve your rapport with the next woman and enhance your personal development. It may be difficult to face the music and discover what went wrong now that the relationship is over, but in order to rebound it is crucial.

In addition, make a list of what went wrong. Similar to the aforementioned weakness category, a list of what went wrong will serve as visible proof that the relationship was dysfunctional and may help explain why. The "why" is what you need to answer in order to get closure.

Ah yes, closure. A magic word in the relationship matrix. A psychoanalyst buzz word if you will, to help us move on and become better partners in the future. Closure has become a cliché, but it has merit. If you want to rebound from a dysfunctional relationship, you need it like a dehydrated man in the middle of the Mojave.

call her up

The first step to gaining closure is to have an appreciation of what you did wrong. Forget about her. Comprehend what you did and be the mature person. If a line of communication is still open, call her and arrange to meet for coffee. Closure is better done in person than on the phone, by e-mail or in a chat room.

Be civil and explain the rationale behind the encounter. In case you forgot, the reason you want to meet with her is to end things on a good note. Closure is a symbol to represent a lack of animosity between the both of you. Mend the fence, do not burn the bridge and try to be cordial with her.