In unusual market trend, rakhi sales shoot up as Valentine’s Day approaches

Shopkeepers across the nation have been left dumbfounded this Valentine’s season. Never before in the history of this day has such a phenomenon been noted: an increasing demand for Rakhis by girls all over the country.

There have been various speculations to understand the reason behind this strange occurrence. Experts from economics, psychology and sociology have united their skills to try to unravel the cause behind this. While an eminent economist has stated that increasing price of Valentine’s merchandise and gifts is the force working here, sociologists claim it is an outcome of the increasing popularity and the consequential adherence to the noble teachings of Asaram Bapu.

Girls explain
“Valentine’s Day is overrated. What girls don’t usually see is that it is making them dependent upon the guy’s whims and fancies. This is my way of supporting feminism. No, this has nothing to do with the fact that I have been single all my life,” says a rather flustered Shweta, while 23-year-old Kriti says, “All my friends are doing it. It’s the trend of the day. It’s so cool!”

“The thing is, Valentine’s Day is a Western conspiracy to exploit the Indian markets. They have commodified love and are shamelessly selling it in the stores! The Rakhi symbolizes everything opposite to this,” explains Akanksha.

Statistics point that Archie’s sales have hit an all time low as their biggest selling season of the year becomes a flop show. On the other hand, the small time retailers are experiencing a boon as their stock of previous year’s Rakhis is earning them unexpected profits. The market is flooded with never-spotted-before designs of Rakhis. The most popular ones include a self-struck Cupid and a heart with “To brother, with love.”

Guys living in constant fear
The poor heart-broken blokes have taken to social media to express their despair. V-Day for many is that day of the year when they feel empowered enough to ask out the girl they like. But now with the terror of girls taking up their master weapon for a second time in the year, many guys feel scared of stepping outside their homes, lest their crush might pounce on them with a “bhaiya” and a smile on her lips. This has brought a new side of the male sex. There are videos on YouTube showcasing future male-versions of Adele and Talyor Swift. Do not be surprised if more “Kolaveri Dis” plague your radio.

Reactions
While deliberations on the subject continue, a range of responses have been observed. Certain pro-Hindutva groups along with RSS called this a “much awaited enlightening” of Indian youth. They have expressed hope for a “more pure future” that would be “in concurrence with our glorious past and traditions”.

All this extra attention to Rakhis has got at least Rakhi Sawant jumping with joy. For once in her life, her “Rakhi-isms” have not been the cause of her undue publicity.

Among all these paradigm changes in the Indian culture, psychologists give a reason to be cautious. Even though girls might be enthusiastically participating in this activity, psychologists warn we must take precaution as there is a possibility of seeing higher suicide rates among the male section of the society.

One thing remains certain. The people seem to have moved on from the rotlu (whiny) romantic lines. Love sonnets don’t seem to impress girls this season. All the Romeos need to be cautious out there. The bull has attacked the red.

NTMN’s Archive Site

News That Matters Not is an Indian news satire, social commentary, and general humour website. An international award winning venture, NTMN was active during 2009–2015 and was known for its witty takes on social issues, media, youth, politics, and everyday life.

This archive site will help you browse through some of the best satirical works published by us.