Happiness is a funny thing. Many times we allow our circumstances to dictate our internal happiness. We await the perfect job, the dream team to work with, an exceptional boss or bigger house to declare internal happiness. When the thing we’ve been waiting for arrives we may discover we don’t feel any different or it didn’t create the shift we expected it to.

Many times it’s not the missing external item generating the feeling of not being happy, it’s our perspective sucking the joy out of us. It’s the negative story we create in our minds about events or people when the Truth is we have no way of knowing if what we have created in our story is true.

I’m sure you know the story I’m referring to. One of the most common ones is the drama we create when we drive the car. We get enraged with the driver that pulls out in front of us! How dare they? Don’t they know I’m in a rush? We make it all about us when the Truth is the person in the other car has no idea we even exist. They are focused on what is currently happening in their world.

Each time we create one of these stories, it’s like popping a balloon and allowing all of our energy to leak out and fizzle into the atmosphere until we are lying on the floor wilted and empty.

Each of us holds the key to our own happiness and it is wrapped up as a gift and resides in our thoughts and our perspectives about events and people in our lives.

Last week the business and career coaches who are part of the Forbes® Coaches Council were asked to share a proven strategy that we use to help train both ourselves and our clients to be happier. I am so thrilled that my response was chosen to be published along with nine other incredible coaches from around the world.

I use this strategy every day to shift my own thoughts and my clients have created this same habit. It is a way for them to keep moving forward with positive momentum as they create the changes they desire in their work and their lives. Ready to give this strategy a test drive for yourself? Here ya go…

Pause When You Notice Yourself Being NegativeWhen the tape starts playing the negative story in your mind, pause and ask yourself, "Is this how I want to feel?" If your answer is no, you now get to decide how you do want to feel and align your thoughts and actions to create the feeling state you most desire. Choose a new perspective that brings joy into your life. Own your power to choose.

Below is the link to check out more detailed info on the remaining 9 strategies to create a happier you:

One of my favorites is to Be Your Own Best Friend by Michelle Tillis Lederman. After I read it, I took a moment to reflect on the language I use when I’m in dialogue with myself and I got curious. Would I talk to my best friend using those words?

How about you? Take a moment and reflect on the last few times you have been in conversation with yourself. Would you talk with your best friend using those words? If not, begin changing the words you use and the spirit in which you use them in your conversation with yourself. Notice how different it feels.

I was recently chosen to contribute to an article: 11 Ways to Rectify A Hiring Mistake

Tip #10: Learn from the experience

Remember, there’s no shame when a job isn’t a good fit for someone. It doesn’t mean they’re faulty or broken. It simply means the two pieces of the puzzle don’t go smoothly together. Learn from the experience and ask yourself, “What can I do differently to create a better result next time?” – Kris McCrea, PCC, McCreaCoaching.com