One game they’re this absolutely lovable bunch of overachievers, the next zombies in long shorts.

One game they’re quick and hustling, acting like a team that’s truly mastered the triangle offense, that understands the importance of defense, that shares and attacks and passes and plays almost beautiful basketball.

The next game they’re playing like five guys just thrown together in a pickup game, standing around, looking flat and unmotivated, being sloppy with the ball, playing matador defense, practicing cover-your-eyes basketball.

They don’t need a coach, they need a psychiatrist. They need shock therapy. Either they do, or their followers soon will.

The Lakers almost defy you to love them. They’re not a team, they’re a moody teenager. Maybe it’s a hormonal thing.

They get it! They get it! They really get it!

What happened? They’re terrible. Who are these guys?

It’s absolutely exasperating. If you want to be a Lakers fan this season, it takes dedication and patience. It’s like a second marriage.

Their most annoying aspect is their ability to stun the really good teams, and stumble over themselves playing the bad ones.

This season they’ve beaten the NBA’s finest teams: Dallas, Phoenix, San Antonio and Utah. Really looked good doing it, too.

Then they’ve lost to its dregs: Milwaukee, Memphis, New Orleans, Portland, Seattle and Charlotte. And positively reeked.

“The positive is, we don’t play any of those teams in the playoffs,” reasoned Kobe Bryant. “All the teams we tend to play well against are future playoff opponents.”

Hey, at least they still have their sense of humor. Exactly what else it is they have is a mystery just shy of the pyramids.

It’s hard to get a strong sense of who they are because it can change from game to game. Sybil didn’t have this many personalities.

Every time the Lakers look like they’re finally getting a sense of who they are, they play a lousy team and discover they’re somebody else. They’re a walking, dribbling identity crisis.

“We’re still fighting for that,” said Lamar Odom. “Sometimes our identity is a team that’s really quick, that’s great in transition, that rotates well defensively. And sometimes we’re the total opposite.

“Midway into the season, we’re still fighting for our identity. We’re still fighting to play the same way all the time.”

The two handiest explanations for the Lakers’ raging inconsistencies are youth and health.

Odom returned Friday night after missing 21 games with a sprained knee ligament. Kwame “Let Them Eat Cake” Brown remains out with a sprained ankle. Brian Cook has battled vertigo. Friday, Luke Walton turned an ankle.

Every team has its share of injuries, of course. That’s part of the deal. Yet even with starters Odom and Brown out the Lakers managed to beat Dallas and San Antonio – and lose to Memphis and New Orleans.

They’re up! They’re down! They’re on their way somewhere!

Youth can be a serious problem, and the Lakers are giving good minutes to rookie Jordan Farmar, and Andrew Bynum and Ronny Turiaf, who are essentially rookies.

But the core of the team is not that young. Kobe and Odom are established stars. Maurice Evans, Smush Parker, Cook and Walton are in their fourth NBA seasons. Vladimir Radmanovic, although their biggest disappointment, is in his sixth season.

No one has any simple, all-defining explanation for their erratic play.

“I really don’t,” said coach Phil Jackson. “I guess the inconsistencies are guys being in health. We’ve only had a little spell in December where we had what we consider our full lineup of guys who were healthy for us. I think that’s part of it.

“The other part is I don’t really think we stay in focus with who we are as a team, and that’s the identity of this team.”

They certainly have their moments, though. There are times when they are a remarkable team to behold. When they are sharing the ball and running the offense and committed to defense. Mostly, times when they’re playing a team with a winning record.

Then some lousy team will come in and the Lakers almost go into automatic downgrade.

The Lakers are 27-16 overall, better than most anyone expected right now, and certainly much better than expected, given their time without Odom and Brown.

They look like a playoff team, but on balance, a second-tier playoff team. A team that makes the playoffs and is most likely headed for another first-round exit. And that’s not growth.

Yet in the playoffs, matched against a top opponent that draws their focus, who knows? With this team, certainties are in short supply.

After being swept in the two-game season series by 15-28 Charlotte, the Lakers are in position to sweep their three-game season series from 31-14 San Antonio today.

In the Lakers’ universe, a victory today is almost a given.

Kobe considers it team growing pains, this trouble keeping focus against teams with losing records. He likens it to a similar problem the Lakers had before winning three consecutive titles in 2000, 2001 and 2002.

“We had issues where we struggled against the so-called lesser teams,” he said. “But once you kind of get that experience of what you’re playing for, you tend to just go out and take care of business.

“The more experience we gain, the more we’ll realize the importance of those games.”

Meanwhile, team followers had best go for the athletic primal scream routine. Take therapy where you can. The Lakers’ play demands it.