24 February, 2011

Summer of 1982, I was a 15 year old at Digger Phelps
basketball camp at Notre Dame. Even though it was Digger's
camp, he was around about as often as Carl Pavano was for
the Yankees. But one day Digger showed up to walk the
kids through some drills. So Digger is picking kids out
of the crowd to help him. The first kid he calls on has braces
and one of those "I'm half way to manhood" mustaches.
Digger looks right at the kid and says, "Son, what's that on your lip?"
The nervous 15 year old trying to sound manly said "My mustache, Coach."
"What's that on your teeth, son?" Digger wanted to know.
"Braces, coach."
Digger stared at the kid for a few seconds and said
"One of them has got to go!"

22 February, 2011

... Melo is a perfect fit with the Knicks because N.Y. fans
love to chant and "Mel-O-(clap-clap), Mel-O-(clap-clap)"
is right up their alley.

... it's a good thing that they don't "play" defense in
the MLB All-Star game like they do in the NBA,
NFL and NHL games.

... Justin Bieber is waaaaaay too aware of his hair.
He did that little hair shake move of his during the
celebrity game more times than Rhianna showed her
appreciation for Mitch Kupchak.

... the Miller Light commercials have run their course.
When the funniest part is the final :02 every time, let's
move on. "hehehehe...harrrr."

... the percentage of retirement matches in WWE history
that actually resulted in retirement is equal to the percentage
of husbands who will actually get granted "hall passes" in
the coming months.

... no one, and I mean no one, was better at coming to
after being knocked out and being wildly disoriented
than the Macho Man.

... Rhianna grabbing herself during her All-Star game halftime
show was the 3rd most disturbing part of All-Star weekend.
Second was Barkley picking Iverson first overall in the
All-Time Fantasy Draft and first was the movie
re-enactment skits during the celebrity games.

... 20 year old Daytona 500 winner Trevor Bayne is going to
be very popular with the ladies. Smart, good looking guy who
seems very humble and grounded and now is really rich. Plus
his name is Trevor.

... I could sneak into the back of Derek Jeter's new home, have
Charlie Sheen and Courtney Love over 5 nights a week for
6 months and DJ would never know I was there.

... LeBron James should enter the dunk contest next year,
jump over his talents and throw it down.

18 February, 2011

Dale Earnhardt died 10 years ago today.
I was at the Daytona 500 a few years prior, when Dale won
his only Daytona 500, producing covereage for Sportscenter.
Jeff Gordon, the reigning 500 champ, had been our co-host
all week long with Kenny Mayne. After Dale won, he came to
our studio a few hours (and some champagne) later to tape
segments with us. He walked into our studio, looked right at
Kenny, and said "Are you still dating that Gordon fella?"
I'm not a big NASCAR guy but you had to love #3.

The Rocks is not my favorite wrestler of all time, but he's in the top 3.

When he left the WWE, he took me with him.

To paraphrase Duke to Rocky in Rocky 4, when The Rock died,

a part of me died.

I've probably watched WWE programming a total of two dozen

times in the last 7 years. I am officially interested again.

The Rock is entertainment. Other than Rick Flair in his prime,

The Rock was the best on the mic I've ever seen.

His wrestling was often an afterthought. I was more than happy

just to hear him cut up McMahon or Coach or anyone else who

got in his way. But the wrestling was great too.

His clashes with Stone Cold were fantastically spine-tingling,

even for a grown man who knew for many years about the pre-determined outcomes.

As I often say, show me the best athletes in any competition

performing at the highest level and I'll likely be entertained.

The Rock never failed me.

He had a presence and a charisma that jumped off the screen and grabbed my attention.

He had me at "Shut your damn mouth!"

When The Rock left, a part of me was glad because I

thought he was going to be Stallone 2.0. I figured there was

a wide-open action hero genre waiting for someone to come

along and lay the Rock Bottom on it as most of the 80's icons

were growing old. Vin Diesel fell flat and it was there for the taking.

one of the best fight scenes ever

I didn't see Scorpion King but I thought The Rundown was a good start.

An entertaining flick with lots of Rock one-liners, a good comedic foil,

lots of action and one of the best fight scenes I've ever seen.

(the one with the rebels in the jungle)

Then came Walking Tall and Gridiron Gang. OK, not great.

That was followed by the Disney contract. It's hard to turn down

a $15 million a picture offer, and he didn't. I assume his agents

were telling Rock things like "this will broaden your appeal.

It'll help make you a household name, blah, blah, blah."

You could tell by this quote to the Orlando Sentinel back

in '09 when making Witch Mountain that The Rock was buying into The Mouse.

"It's a cool thing when you can make movies that everyone can go see. I love the partnership I have with Disney. I recognize the power that the brand has, its impact on families all over the world. We had great success with The Game Plan,' and when they came to me with this, I was ready."

But in the end, the brand that suffered was The Rock.

He hasn't exactly laid the smacketh down on the box office and

wrestling had moved on. Let's not forget, when The Rock left the WWE, he LEFT.

I could be wrong but I don't recall him popping up here or there, he was out.

Finally... The Rock has come back!

So he bailed on all the people who helped make

Dwayne Johnson into The Rock, the fans. And he didn't come back.

Well now, finally, The Rock has come back and he did it the right way.

Almost the very first thing he did last night was

take off his shades, tell the crowd (as Dwayne Johnson)

how thankful he was to them for their part in

building his career.

It was a genuine moment. Very smart, Rock.

On Sunday I was speaking with a friend who was in the WWE for a long time about The Rock. He was expressing concern about how The Rock would be received if he ever came back because of the way he left.

But thanks to Strat-O-Matic baseball the names of those
Mets, and most of the National Leaguers from that year, are
burned in my memory forever. In the summer of 1981, as a
14 year old in a world without internet, limited cable TV
and with video games just barely entering my consciousness,
Strat-O-Matic was heaven. I played out the entire '80 season,
scoring each and every game. Managing a team lead by Mark Bomback, Lee Mazzilli and Frank Taveras was more challenging than managing Lindsay Lohan, but I loved it.
In order to satisfy my mom's frequent urging to "get out of the
house on such a nice day," I would often sit on my back porch
and play on a table under the summer sun. Day games!
I remember the younger neighbor twin boys coming over
and looking on, laughing as I made jokes about the Astros
Enos "Cow-bell."
At a time when following the league was limited to looking
at box scores in the paper and the Saturday Game of the Week
on NBC, I learned a great deal about the players in the
majors from playing Strat. I also really honed my skills as a
scorer of the game and learned how to figure out batting
averages and eras. It also allowed me the opportunity to
practice my play-by-play skills.
For a young lover of the game, Strat-O-Matic was my Mrs. Robinson.
The challenge of making your lineup, calling all the
in-game moves like bunts, hit and runs and pitching changes,
forced you to think the game through like a manager.
By the end of that summer, Joe Torre had nothing on me
when it came to managing the '80 Mets.
When I got to college I learned that I wasn't alone in my
love of Strat. My freshman year I taught my roommate,
Bobby, how to play and soon we learned of many guys in
the dorm who played. My junior year, a freshman, Toast,
walked by my open dorm room and saw Bobby and me playing
and said "Hey, Strat-O-Matic!" Toast and I are still friends today,
but may have never met if not for Strat.
By my sophomore year, leagues were formed and Strat was
as much a part of the day-to-day life as classes were.
College in the 80's was different from today. No computers
in the dorm room, no email, no text messaging.
So getting mail was a big deal. Bobby and I used to compare
the mail we received to an at bat in baseball. A letter from
a friend was a single. Something from home with food or money
was an extra-base hit. When the new Strat-O-Matic set arrived,
that was a grand slam.
We would open the package to find the box covered in
pictures of major leaguers with their logos blacked out because
Strat didn't have MLB licensing. A generically clad Bucky Dent

uniforms were generic, but the
game experience was authentic

turning a DP... an equally generic Rick Cerrone in a
non-Blue Jays uniform, adorned the box.
Once you got the box open you would see all the cards
inside and quickly fish for your team so you could study
the cards and see if "your guys" had good looking cards or not. There was also the careful tearing of the orange perforated 1-20 result cards. "pfffft (carrrrreful)...pfffft (carrrreful)."
One poorly torn card could take the drama out of a
"home run 1-12, double 13-20" in a heart beat.
It was a process that had to be savored.

Then, the games began. Holding the dice in your hands

and shaking them before rolling them was akin to a pitcher

gently jiggling the ball in his hand while checking the signals

and waiting to let fly. The anticipation of the moment!

Then the role of the dice followed by quick addition

of said dice and the ensuing scanning of the cards

to see the result.

"one-eight. Ground out to short," "five-eleven. Catcher-card X."

good luck getting '01 Bonds out!

My senior year at Rollins three of my friends, Toast, Oaks
and Ford, and I drove from Orlando to Gainesville to compete
in a weekend long Strat tournament. The four of us and a
dozen or so other guys all in one room, rolling the dice all
weekend long. Is this heaven? No, it's Gainesville, but still...
Among the things I still remember from that weekend: I
couldn't buy a break and only won 3 or 4 games.
My buddy Oaks winning a game in extra innings when
his pitcher, Bob McClure, got a hit off the other guy's pitcher card.
And this one dude who every time he rolled a homer would
say, in a quasi-Spanish accent, "Keeess it!"
Thinking about those 1980 cards, 31 years later, I still
remember the Mike Schmidt card producing a homer if
you rolled 3-6. The 1980 George Brett card was awe-inspiring.
Brett hit .390 that season, including an absurd .437 off
right handers. You just prayed to roll on his card against

the untouchable 1980
J.R. Richard

a righty and it was going to be a knock.
I remember the 1980 J.R. Richard card as
being the most unhittable pitcher card I've ever seen.
Right-handed batters hit just .124 off Richard that year.
He struck out 77 of the 240 righties, 1 out of every 3.1, he faced.
He was untouchable.
At the 2000 World Series I walked up on ESPN announcers
John Miller, Buck Martinez and Charlie Steiner having a
discussion in the hotel bar. Were they talking about the epic
game 1 of the Subway Series that they had all just witnessed?
Nope. They were talking about Strat-O-Matic, what else?
Jumping in the discussion, I quickly asked Miller what was the
best pitching card he ever saw, fully expecting him to validate
my J.R. Richard opinion. Instead, he offered Orioles relief
pitcher Eddie Watt's card from 1969. Miller described Watt's
Vs. Righthanded Batters side of the card and how there were
only 2 places on it you could get a hit (righties only hit .140 off
Watt that season.) Without missing a beat Martinez, a rookie for
the Royals in '69, said "I got a hit off Eddie Watt that year!"
Those of you who remember the days of Dan Patrick and Gary
Miller on ESPN's SportsCenter may be interested to know that
Strat was responsible for some of their signature catch phrases.
When the two anchors worked at CNN they used to pass time
by playing Strat. When Miller rolled something on Patrick's
pitcher's card that resulted in a strikeout, Dan would announce
the K to Miller by simply saying "Whifffffff," which he turned
into "the whhhiffff" as a strikeout catch phrase on SC.
Likewise, when Dan rolled a home run off of his hitters card he
would just say "gone," which was his homer call on SC as well.
John Miller also told me a story about playing Cal Ripken in
a game of Strat in the Orioles clubhouse. Miller played as the
Blue Jays who had the great bullpen of Tom Henke and
Mark Eichorn. Ripken was the O's. Miller won the game and
Ripken promptly picked up the score card, walked it over to his
father, the Orioles manager at the time, and studied it for a
few minutes before returning and proclaiming "OK, I know what
I did wrong. Let's play again."
It was documented in Sports Illustrated this week that Strat was
influential in both the creations of fantasy baseball and video games:

As it happens, Daniel Okrent, inventor of rotisserie baseball (the original fantasy game), and Trip Hawkins, the founder of Electronic Arts, whose sports games are the industry standard, both credit Richman's Strat-O-Matic for shaping their ideas.

"If there hadn't been Strat-O-Matic," Okrent says, "I still think I would have come up with rotisserie, but unquestionably it helped."

Says Hawkins, "The real reason that I founded Electronic Arts, was because I wanted to make computerized versions of games like Strat-O-Matic."

So we have Strat-O-Matic to thank for that, as well.

It's been a long time since I ordered my Strat cards. I wonder

if my boys could appreciate a dice and cards game in a video

game world.

But I miss those days of going to the mailbox and finding
that package. I miss sitting down across from my buddies,
Bobby, Oaks, Toast, Ford and others, and rolling the dice.
Good times.... good times, indeed.
So congratulations on 50 years, Strat-O-Matic. Thanks to you,
Alex Trevino, Pete Falcone and Joel Youngblood are still
ingrained in my memory.
Joel Youngblood, 2-9... Keeeees It!

09 February, 2011

... Valentines Day and Pitchers and Catchers Report Day
are similarly meaningless. Despite being around for hundreds

Valentines, Pitchers and Catchers
they ain't what they used to be

of years, Valentines Day now exists pretty much to support
the chocolate and greeting card industries. It gives women
something to feel warm and fuzzy about in the middle of winter.
My wife doesn't need V-Day to know that I love her. And if she
wants warm and fuzzy, well, that's why we have two dogs.
There was a time when the pitchers and catchers reporting
date was a big deal.
But now everyone gets there early, unless they are Carlos or
Melido Perez. The Mets already have more than 30 guys in
camp, 5 days before Ps+Cs report. So these report dates are
meaningless... BUUUT they help keep men feeling warm and
fuzzy as they chip ice off their gutters in February.
... I'd like to know why they can't put the thin defroster strips
from my car's rear window on my car's front window.
... reality TV has jumped the shark. It was fun for a while, but

Reality TV jumps the shark

now everyone is just acting. All those people on American Idol
who can't sing know they can't sing, but they act like they think
they can because it makes for good TV.
The folks on the Jersey Shore and Real World aren't oblivious
to the cameras. They are all playing characters. There is
nothing real about the the Real Housewives. That's why I'll stick
with the traditional TV shows where the actors are highly
trained professionals.
When I want reality TV I watch sports.
... Albert Pujols going to the Cubs in 2012 would be fantastic.

A future Cub?

Most plausible WWE-like heel turn we could see.
... the Red Sox may wait to see what happens with Albert before
doing any new deals with Adrian Gonzalez.
... MAD Magazine was one of the great things from my youth
that doesn't carry much weight anymore, but my boys love their
new TV show.
... if the Padres struggle this year, Heath Bell will be a hot
commodity at the trade deadline.
... I'm going to give Mr. Sunshine a chance tonight. I hope it's funny.
... I'm fired up for MLB '11 and my annual internal debate
of if its better than Madden. (yes, I'm 44. What's your point?)
... Kyle Orton will be the Broncos opening day QB next season.
... I have no problem not friending tangential "friends"on
Facebook. If we haven't been in touch in a long time, there
is probably a reason. Don't use me to inflate your "friends"
list. I will not be used like a Charlie Sheen party favor.

turns out I was the Schmuck

How dare you!

... my decision to have never eaten at a Taco Bell was a good one.

... my decision to rent Dinner for Schmuk's last week as a really,

really bad one. Never even made it to the dinner part.

... my friend who thinks The King's Speech is about LeBron
James "The Decision" will be disappointed when he goes
to the theater.
... "ironic" and "ironically" are the most misused words
in our language.
... Lindsey Lohan probably wishes her Wikipedia page
ended after the first paragraph.
... it's time to eat some of my son's birthday cake.

05 February, 2011

One of my favorite players in Bronco history, Shannon Sharpe,
is headed to Canton. Congrats to him on his election to the
Hall of Fame. His catch to seal the AFC title game against
Pittsburgh is one of the unsung plays in Broncos history.

03 February, 2011

I fired up Madden '11 to have the computer play out Super Bowl 45.
7:00 quarters. no clock acceleration. I sat Pouncey because I don't believe he will play.
Gus Johnson and Chris Collinsworth have the call for us today.
Sunny and 76 degrees. They wish!
No Christina Aguilera singing the anthem. I have that as a win.
A shot of Aaron Rodgers in the Packers locker room before the
game and a graphic points out the Packers last SB appearance
was in 1998 when they lost to John Elway and the Broncos.

Up and over! Hall and GB strike first.

Damn straight!
Steelers win the toss and elect to receive.
Packers get a pick on the 2nd play of the game and return it
to Pitt 17. Packer fans are giving Roethlisberger the John Candy
"have another one" motion from Trains, Planes and Automobiles.
Rodgers hits Hall in the flat and he gets upended and
helicoptered like Elway (only not nearly as awesome)
at the goal line for the first score.
7-0 GB with 5:00 left in 1st quarter.
So far Rodgers has been very effective sliding out
of the pocket and completing passes.
3rd and 2 from the Steelers 26, Pittsburgh gets caught in a blitz
and Starks busts off right tackle for a TD. 14-0 GB.
That's the score when the 1st quarter ends.

2nd quarter starts with GB on the move again.
Rodgers hits Driver for a 23 yard gain out to midfield.
Steelers are having trouble pressuring Rodgers.
Just as I say that Harrison hits Rodgers on a 3rd and 3,
incomplete pass and GB is stopped for the 1st time today.
The NFL is reviewing to see if they can fine and suspend
Harrison immediately but decide against it.
Two completions in a row for Big Ben and Collinsworth
notes that the Steelers will "need a whole lot more of those."

Steelers are on the board

Ward makes a huge catch on 3rd and 7 and runs over 2 GB
dbs like Paris Hilton runs over paparazzi.
Another 3rd and 7 and another completion to Ward moves
the chains. Playaction pass and Ben finds Randel El down
at the 20, and he runs it all the way to the GB 3.
1st and goal for Pitt at the 2:00 warning.
Mendenhall punches it in over left tackle on 2nd down
and Gus Johnson is getting fired up.
Impressive 80 yard drive. 14-7 GB.
Big 3 and out by GB gives the ball back to Pitt with 1:14
left in the half, starting from their 47. Another huge 3rd down completion, this one to Miller, gets Pitt down to the 30 with
1:00 left in the half. GB defense stiffens and forces a 49 yard FG attempt...
it's good! 14-10 GB but Uncle Mo is putting on his Steelers shirt.
Screen pass to Starks and HE FUMBLES! Pittsburgh recovers at the GB 32.
:30 left in the half. Woodson bats down a pass intended for
Ward in the endzone on 1st down. 3rd down complete to Miller at the 3. :15 left, 1 TO left.
Ben to Miller, touchdown! 17-14 Pitt with :09 left in the half.
What a huge shift in momentum. 17 points scored in the final
2:00. We haven't seen a collapse like that since my neighbors
roof this past weekend. (it's ok, everyone is fine... well, except
for Fluffy. Turns out cats only get 1 life.)

Ben gets it off just in time to Miller
Steelers lead 17-14 at the half.

A stirring halftime show by the Blackeyed Peas. Not a dry
eye in the house after their cover of Captain & Tennille's
Muscrat Love.
GB receives and goes right back to the passing game.
Lots of 4 and 5 wide looks but on 2nd down Harrison breaks
through for a sack. GB opens with a 3 and out.

Perhaps a Pack-breaking moment
for Green Bay

Pittsburgh punts, Green Bay punts. Defenses might be settling in...
Pitt 3rd and 6 from their own 41, GB blitzes and Ben hits Ward on a slant... he breaks a tackle and he's gone! 59 yard TD and the Steelers have scored 24 unanswered points.
Collinsworth says for GB "the offense has to find a way to put
points on the board and it has to start happening now." The Packers don't listen as they go 3 and out again. The Steelers D has raised the bar, getting in Rodgers face on every pass.
After a Pitt 3 and out GB tries the running game and
Starks rips off a 15 yard run up the middle. Then 2 more runs
for 12 more yards and now they are in Pittsburgh territory
at the 3:00 mark. On the 4th straight run Starks fumbles again
but GB gets it back. Could have been devestating.
Nothing worse than a Starks with a crisis of confidence in a title
game, right Knicks fans?

Timmons with a Ha-Yuge pick

A quick hitter to James with 2 awesome blocks by Driver and
GB is down to the Steeler 9! 3rd and goal from the 11...
Rodgers has all day...throws for Driver but he is PICKED in the endzone by Timmons!
Killer interception by GB who could have at least cut it to 7 with a FG.
3rd quarter ends with Pitt on the move again, up 24-14.

Pitt is going for it!
Ben to Ward again, first down to the GB 32!
Ward has 7 catches for 118 so far.
GB spirit seems to be broken after that play.
Mendenhall rips off a 9 yard carry to the 24.
GB needs to hold them to 3 points.
Ben has other ideas... Deep to Miller...
TOUCHDOWN as he out-jumps Collins at the goal line.
The refs talked it over but ruled TD. The Terrible Towels are
waiving throughout Jerry Jones's house. 31-14 Pittsburgh.

...and just gets in for the TD

3:10 left and GB is down to the Pitt 29... tick, tick, tick...
Rodgers sacked by Woodley. 3rd and 16 and he hits Jones
down to the 11... no huddle...
Jones is open in the endzone for a score! 31-21 with 2:27 to go.
On-side kick is recovered by Pitt.
Mendenhall is running over the Packers.
2 big 1st downs on the ground and GB burns all 3 timouts.
Pitt is taking a knee... it's all over! Pittsburgh wins 31-21
for Super Bowl title #7. Roethlisberger is named MVP.