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Somebody explain fraternities to me

I never had any interest in going to college so maybe this is a stupid question, but I don't understand college fraternities. From what I can tell they are groups that you join to get dangerously drunk, do drugs, party, and have sex. Sounds great, but why in the world would any school support that? Why do parents let their kids join? Then there's that whole "pledge" ridiculousness. Why would someone subject themselves to the humiliating shit they do just to join a group? And what's up with all the greek bullshit?

My best friend joined a fraternity years ago and as far as I'm concerned it was the same as a cult. He did lots of bad things he shouldn't have, got arrested, took 6 years to get a 4 year degree, and completely abandoned all of his other life long friends. All of that out of character for him. We are no longer friends because of it.

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

There are some fraternities that focus on something specific like community service or a specific field like biology, engineering, music, whatever. I've never been in a frat, but I've had sex with one. It was nice?

Originally Posted by Saybrooke

I was at the gym once, and this woman was on the elliptical next to me, making motorcycle noises.

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

Originally Posted by TheFallenAsexual

Never wanted anything to do with them. Always saw it as childish. Rare (nonexistent to my memory) that I've met someone in life I had anything in common with that looked back fondly toward their days in a frat.

Definitely holds absolutely nothing to offer someone who has personally evolved beyond a permanent state of brobro.

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

Think about your good long-lasting friendships. You met somebody. You clicked with them. You maybe ad some early "moment" where you realized you were becoming friends. Perhaps there was some early "test" which showed this person to be a real friend. After that point, you started hanging out more and more. You shared secrets. You helped each other out. You developed a vocabulary and fie f "in-jokes" that you use among yourselves that outsiders would find puzzling. And you may have thought the friendship was something almost-sacred that you would never betray.

Fraternities are friendships codified and expanded to a group. Pledge Week is the early "bonding" experience, where you're pushed into close quarters, and there's an artificial "test" to prove if you're really bonding or not. Afterwards, you're supposed to hang out with your fraternity brothers more and more. You share secrets, and nothing is supposed to leave the walls of the fraternity house. You sometims act in ways that non-brothers find odd. When a brother needs help, you're supposed to help

I can't say as I have any real issue with the basic notion, but I think something got crossed somewhere. It seems like it should be tailor-made for the disenfranchised and the friendless, filling a void. But it seems at most schools of some size, it's the opposite - it's the really popular kids who rush fraternities. Any "loner" who rushes simply becomes the rube who has to submit to the tests but won't be admitted entrance. In short, he's simply something for the group to mock. And that runs counter to what it seems to exist for.

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

I'm not American so I didn't understand either but this is what an American guy told me: A fraternity basically means paying to get friends. Period. Yes you need to pay (a big amount of money) if you are selected and you instantly get a new social circle. It's relevant especially to freshmen that are underage and can't buy alcohol, as all the parties in campus are held by fraternities but they don't let guys who aren't in their fraternity in. So it's better for them to join one if they want to participate in that kind of life.

I just think it's ridiculous. It's like basically admitting that you are dumb fuck with no social skills that needs a pre established and secure social group (that apparently you're not able to get on your own) to be able to cope with this new life.

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

Originally Posted by innocentbychoice

I'm not American so I didn't understand either but this is what an American guy told me: A fraternity basically means paying to get friends. Period. Yes you need to pay (a big amount of money) if you are selected and you instantly get a new social circle. It's relevant especially to freshmen that are underage and can't buy alcohol, as all the parties in campus are held by fraternities but they don't let guys who aren't in their fraternity in. So it's better for them to join one if they want to participate in that kind of life.

I just think it's ridiculous. It's like basically admitting that you are dumb fuck with no social skills that needs a pre established and secure social group (that apparently you're not able to get on your own) to be able to cope with this new life.

Btw when I said earlier that they're gangs for middle+ class kids, I wasn't joking. There is scholarly writing about it.

The only difference between them is socioeconomic status and social perception.

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

Btw when I said earlier that they're gangs for middle+ class kids, I wasn't joking. There is scholarly writing about it.

The only difference between them is socioeconomic status and social perception.

Definitely. One of the fraternities at OSU had no members whose parents weren't paying cash for their college experience. It cost each of them at least a thousand more per year to live there than even at the ritz condo block for students down the street -- and then there was the end-of-the-year reckoning when the house managers ran up an estimate for repairing all the damage inflicted on the house during the year, and assigned each member an even share to cough up.

On the other end was a fraternity of nothing except wanna-bes, guys who knew they'd never fit in with any rich or high-status crowd.

In the middle, there were two that were darned close to what a fraternity should be -- whenever one guy was in need, those who knew how to handle that sort of thing jumped in. They had a regular study program, so guys in the same subjects could study together and get help and even tutoring (when they didn't have someone who could tutor in a subject, they 'outsourced, which is how I got to know them [tutor in geology and botany]). At one they passed the hat for one of their guys who was going to lose his driver's license for being behind on payments for a fine, who needed to drive for his job.

The rest of the frats were spread out along the spectrum from rich and reckless to friendless and feckless.

"Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

I wish my sentiments equaled that of all you guys' when I started college.. my parents wasted 10,000+ dollars paying for me to get into a fraternity, and I hated it from the moment I got past the 'pledging' process! What a waste of money..

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

I'm still at a loss as to why any parent would not only support the joining of a fraternity, but also pay for it? How does that discussion even go?
"So, where do you want to live when you go to college?
I want to live in a house full of irresponsible minors, where underage binge drinking and loose sex aren't just a suggestion, they're a requirement. They might help me study too.
Ok, great, I'll help you pack."

If I joined a frat it would be something I wouldn't want my parents to know about. And I SURE as hell wouldn't let my kid join!

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

Originally Posted by secondmonkey

I'm still at a loss as to why any parent would not only support the joining of a fraternity, but also pay for it? How does that discussion even go?
"So, where do you want to live when you go to college?
I want to live in a house full of irresponsible minors, where underage binge drinking and loose sex aren't just a suggestion, they're a requirement. They might help me study too.
Ok, great, I'll help you pack."

If I joined a frat it would be something I wouldn't want my parents to know about. And I SURE as hell wouldn't let my kid join!

Because frats will generally be rich kids so if you want your kids to have a good old boy network later in life of friends who are business moguls, surgeons and lawyers, you get them into a frat.

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

I'm only hearing this cause most of my friends are Asian, the (mostly) minority fraternities do a bit more service than the "White guys' party clubs".

My brother and best friend are part of a frat that participates in university events and even did a donation drive to help a girl that was raped and viciously attacked while dropping library books to the point of legal blindness and severe mental damage. And this happened more than 100 miles from their university cause they didn't even have a chapter to that place's closest university at the time.

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

^ This triggered a memory: after two attacks on gals out jogging, the fraternities at OSU put together a "Don't Jog Alone" program, were every fraternity guy who was a runner or jogger was automatically enrolled as a potential hogging partner for any gal who didn't want to go out alone. It was so popular the fraternities had to ask guys in the co-ops to help out.

"Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

Originally Posted by swerve

^Oregon is SO PROGRESSIVE in almost EVERY WAY that you can view!!!

It was funny how in Berkeley CA which has such a reputation for radical activism from the 60's, people always assume everyone there is this turbohippy and most people there will tell you "uh, go to Eugene Oregon, that's more like what you're expecting than here."

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

My jury's always been out on the pedestrian screwing-around-secretly-inside-the-fraternity stories. I'm sure it happens to some degree, but the story is just so friggin common I always feel like there must be some fantasy-making going on with how often you hear it, too.

Re: Somebody explain fraternities to me

Originally Posted by swerve

^Oregon is SO PROGRESSIVE in almost EVERY WAY that you can view!!!

Except the cops.

"Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "