Lady Lynx Softball

Friday, April 5, 2013

As I sit here at the keyboard sipping my first ever green smoothie, my "natural man/woman" would much rather be sipping a Coke and biting into a fresh donut! Ugh! This is what I am talking about....and I think some of you know very well what I am talking about today. Mosiah 3:19...a well known scripture in the Book of Mormon that I first learned about in my beloved Seminary days. The thing is, I had no clue what it meant back then when I was so "perfect". LOL!! Fast forward 30 years to the present. This scripture continuously lurks in my mind; it is staulking me!

"For the natural man is an emeny to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

SUBMISSIVE? I want to call all the shots around here! No one is going to try to control me! (Something my mother taught me at a young age!)
MEEK? I am beyond meek....I am pathetic and weak when challenges overtake me! I want to give up.
HUMBLE? I am beyond humble....I have self-defeating thoughts, behaviors, and actions....my mother has told me this since I was young. I am my own worst enemy. I have to pick myself up after brutal beatings often.
PATIENT? Hardly. I used to think of myself as patient, but I am a 2nd grade teacher. I think through the years, certain students have sucked the patience right out of me. The last ounce of it was sucked dry this past school year while attempting to teach one of my own relatives. I am stilll recovering.
FULL OF LOVE? I am full of love for my own immediate family and close friends, however, I have little tolerance for others who neglect their own family and have screwed up priorities. I am becoming jaded by people that I encounter. I don't trust as much. I don't socialize as much. I don't love as much as I once did.
WILLING TO SUBMIT TO THE LORD? I am proud in that I think I can handle whatever comes my way on my own. After turmoil, stress, insomnia, tears, and frustration.....then I turn it over to the Lord. Why not sooner? I don't know. I am proud of being self-driven and independant most of the time. It is extremely humbling to have to ask for help, even to my Father in Heaven. But without a doubt, I know when I finally get to this point, He is always there for me and will get me through whatever it is I am facing.

To further explain:
I'd rather go back to bed, but I need to clean the house!
I'd rather sit and watch a movie, but I need to go exercise!
I'd rather read a good book, but I should be reading more scriptures.
I'd rather write in my journal, blog or go on Pinterest, but I need to pay bills and run errands.
I'd rather stay at home and not work, but I have to work to help provide for my family.
I'd rather live in a warm climate, but this is where our family is and where we have good jobs.
I'd rather wake up skinny, but my clothes continue shrinking in my closet.
I'd rather spend money on fun things like vacations, clothes, and my girls, but I have a mortgage, insurance, vehicles, and utilities to pay instead.

Well.....this natural woman (who is sitting all too natural in my nightgown with no make up, bed head hair-do, cactus legs & pits, Coke-bottle thick glasses on, no bra, and almost done with her green smoothie (which now looks like baby poop) is going to go muster up some energy to get showered and move on with this day. Thanks for stopping by.

And now you see why this scripture is a blessing and a curse to me right now.