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The power of a good PAUSE

A good pause is time spent enjoying the moment with the company you are in….not watching, not pining for some intimate moment, not judging, not evaluating, not planning your next move/request (or the rest of your day for that matter). Set aside your hopes and aspirations and be present in the moment. Enjoy the space you are in. Be grateful for the company you are with. Soak it in. This is actually no easy task for many people….time is limited, rushed, and often overbooked. It is not easy to be fully present when precious minutes are ticking by, and life’s deadlines are closing in. Many people (trainers included) are so consumed with the things they want to teach and work on, that a true pause is never felt. What you need to know: it is important, and it is as good for our well-being as it is for the dog. It may take a surprising effort the first few times to really set aside what weighs on you and just enjoy the world around you (in good company of course!). Animals will help you tune this skill, as they are drawn to this kind of energy. If you’re having trouble, try reading (getting lost in) a good book. Soon you will easily be able to go back and forth between pauses, life, and training.

The quality of any given pause in training is far more important than the quantity and duration. A short genuine pause will go a lot farther than a long insincere one. What happens when we take the time to pause like this, is the building (and reinforcing) of a bond. A bond based on unconditional love. Pause often in your life with animals. Also make it a point to pause sometimes without treats. In this way, YOU can come to understand that your company is powerful and meaningful. If you have multiple dogs, make time to spend time pausing with an individual one on one (away from the other dogs).

9 thoughts on “The power of a good PAUSE”

Fantastic! Yes, I can see these as pauses and they are exactly what I don’t take the time for. Such a pity. It’s my greatest weakness with my dogs as well as my children and husband… and my friends. I’m too busy to be “in the moment” and I know THAT is the big hole in my foundation more so than any lack of… whatever skill. Perhaps while I’m obsessed with training and fixing the problems, I’m missing the point. I love you Carson! You are so right on! Today I have already had several “pauses”. My headache, from all the crazy things going on, is gone. Also, I’ve “seen” Rhap’s face (confession, I’ve had her for how many years now?), her eyes, her ears and herself (she would be the crazy obsessed dog described above). It’s been really cool. I had the chance to allow her to lower my blood pressure which, don’t forget Audrey, dogs can do. With our crazy frenetic “I” this and “I” that and “I” me world, it’s hard to pause. Thanks for the guidance. I had some cool “pauses” with Micah today too. The 2 leggers are also benefiting!! Next I’m going to try it around sheep. I think I do it pretty well in the agility yard since it’s at my house and we rest often while I build or just recover, but I’m sure I’m not doing it at herding. I will double check my “pauses” in agility to make sure they are quality and not me still training :). But the good news is I’m getting them in during the normal living hours which is where we have to start. The puppy is doing great because I started him out with our consultations but Rhappy is harder with her history. However, it’s not THAT hard. I’m loving it. XO to you sister! The missing link at last!

I was so happy using my new “pause moments” with my animals, I’ve started employing my newfound skills to my husband. Typically, I’d rush into the room and start babbling about schedules and tasks. Recently, I’m walking in and sitting near him quietly and just hanging out. Guess what happens? Eventually, he changes his focus and looks at me, ready to listen and be with me. I’m not saying my man is a dog; but dog training does have a multitude of valuable applications! Thanks, Jen.

A funny thing happens when you stop focusing on a drivey, work-a-holic, adrenaline junkie dog and pause….they relax, soften, and start to enjoy the moment (and your company) too. They may even relax into your touch (where normally, they are too busy working and pushing).

When things are going well, relax and enjoy the moment. Make it a nice comfy spot/moment. Find your pause….your neutral. Be present in the moment with your dog….like you do with a friend when you hang out (the kind of friend where there are no awkward silences). Your dog will follow suit. …maybe you’re both laid out in a nice sunny (or shady) spot. …maybe while your dog frolics in a stream, you enjoy the sunset or the cool water on your toes. …maybe while you hike with your dog that is obsessed with retrieving, you ignore it and enjoy and explore the awesome world around you. …maybe while your dog is supervising grazing sheep, you enjoy the sunshine and revel in the breeze. …maybe while your dog takes his first few tentative steps driving sheep, you relax and soften while you walk.

You can get back to training in another moment….but for now….in this moment where life with this dog is good….revel in it.

I think ive gotten better at this. Taken a large step back from herding and have made time to go to the beach swim w dogs and appreciate all that little stuff. Nosework kicked me into this more because i found. such joy in seeing my 14 and 15 year old dogs find as much joy in that as they did doing agility all those years with me. The three dogs ive lost in the last 3month yearsdrove that home for me. My dogs each one and also together are on a great journey and i need to trust it.

andalso together are on a journey with me and i need trust it and also

I love this! Ok, so for those of us who are remedial pausers (ok, no such thing as a pause really…), draw the picture. What does this look like for me and Rhappy Sue? I’m already seeing a difference with them all with the “say hello” moments (can I call this “un-training” cause it reminds me of “un-schooling” for kids?) and I’m ready for this step. Thanks Cars (Jen)!!!!

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I believe that a great relationship and good training are the keys to developing a stable, well balanced dog that is ready, willing, and able to tackle whatever the future may hold for you and your dog. Learn how to maximize your dog's potential and how to help your dog become a dog in balance.