And the truth suddenly hit me: my life was a shit. "You live in a shitty apartment in the shittiest suburb of this shitty city", said a small voice in my head. That morning I understood two things: I was in desperate need to change my life and I apparently had a talent for shit.

This isn’t the usual shit. You will hold 750g of high-class dirt, picked straight from the farm and aged for nine months like a fucking old Whisky. This stuff holds enough Nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium to bring any wretched urban plant back to life. Give it a try and thank me later - or better thank cows and hens, ‘cause they're doing the whole work themselves.