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Wednesday, October 19, 2016

When are you getting married & other dumb questions about my wedding

I don't know about you, but one of my favorite things to do is answer stupid questions with sarcastic answers, all while using a serious tone. Thankfully, my quick wit allows me to handle such a task quite easily. Watching people's faces as they try to compute sarcasm versus serious cracks me up - and, in my humble opinion serves them right for asking me a dumb question they probably have no business asking.

The only thing getting engaged did was open up a whole can of questions that 99% of the people asking don't need to know the answer to. So, after getting annoyed the first few times I finally just started screwing with people. And watching as they try to decide sarcasm versus serious. Do they have to play along or risk offending me? Or am I kidding & they can laugh? Fine line to to play with my dear friends, as ain't nobody tryin' to be on my shit list.

If you've been engaged at any point ever I'm certain you'll be able to relate to these ridiculous questions that people start asking 4.3 nanoseconds after you announce your engagement to the world. If you've never been engaged, do me a favor - don't ask this shit, at least not right away. I would wager a guess most brides have no idea. And trust me, if they do, they'll tell you.

Q : When are you getting married?A : Never, if you keep asking that.Alternate : A destination wedding, to Moscow, in June.

Q : I'm busy XYZ date next year, it won't be that day will it?A : Actually, now that you mention it...maybe we did just pick a date.Alternate : So happy to hear about your other social engagements, let me just put that down in our big book of things to consider when picking a date.

Q : My cousin's niece had a sister with a neighbor that did this thing - are you going to do that thing?A : No.Alternate : OMG, that sounds so neat, and affordable, and necessary for a wedding. Can you get me more details on how they did that?

OmG! This is why I love your blog! The sarcastic answers! Can I adopt you as my sister? I love giving sarcastic answers with the most serious face, it throws people off, and they don't know if I'm serious or joking! The best part is that I'm always half serious on what I said.

Be warned, people get more obnoxious when a woman is pregnant. People used to ask me if they could touch my belly, and I would always answer "Not if you like your arm!" and when they would ask what I was having I would say with a straight face "An alien, there is a small chance the baby is a human, but we'll have to wait and see"

lol 'I'm busy XYZ date next year, it won't be that day will it?' i remember those.just wait. it gets worse. and i say that in the nicest happiest way possible haha. i hate when people say 'just wait' because you want to slap them, but there you go, i went and said it. my favourite is when the baby questions start the DAY of your wedding, if not before. and don't stop. ever. until you have a bunch of kids and then they ask when you're gonna stop. not that i have that experience, but i've lots of friends who do lol.

Hahah seriously if someone asks for a plus one tell them they just got a negative one ...UNINVITED! For the longest time, I didn't even tell people at work that I was engaged..just waited for them to notice the ring :)

I can't even. I really did not enjoy being engaged for this reason. It got even more 'fun' when e decided to have a mini destination wedding to VA wine country with a grand total of 12 people. When you have a big family, it just gets fun. The only advice I can give you is avoid all family and friend function ;) aahha just kidding. Kind of. ALSO wait until you're married. It magically turns to, "When will you have kids?" "How many kids will you have?" "When are you going to have baby number 3?" "Were you pregnant when you got married?" (Regardless of the fact that your anniversary is a solid month after your due date... I'm just a little bitter.)

So... yeah, I think I used to be one of those people who asked that question way too much. I wasn't very sensitive to others, and this post reminds me that it's better to just wait for them to share, because it's their engagement and their good news to share (not mine to snoop out).

My first wedding I fought everyone tooth and nail for the way "I wanted it", but it didn't turn out that way at all. The second go round we just went to Maine and took a vacation and left everyone behind and did what we wanted because of the questions. I love it when someone tells you something you HAVE to do because it's tradition.....unless it's your tradition, it doesn't matter. You're the couple, you decide. Also, agree with Morgan...as soon as you get married, all the kid talk starts.

When we were planning our wedding, we had a seriously limited time period to do it (as per the visa) and friends and family were still like "oh well I'm going on holidays on this date or XX and XX are getting married on this date" and I was like "okay well then you can't come because if the church only has XX and XX free, it's going to be one or the other" :P