C is for Cookie (and cocaine)

I was doing the Off the Cuff question today for a future Reader. And this woman told a funny story about leaving cookies on doorsteps and running away. It got me thinking about when I worked in radio, and listeners would bring us cookies or donuts in the morning. There was always this moment where you wondered whether you should eat the item. You thought...we are a rock n' roll radio station. There could be drugs in these items. This could be someone that is mad we didn't play their Judas Priest request. Or, it could just be some dirty slob, and eating this will make me sick.

But, if it was a cute woman, you devoured the items. Well, even if it was some rocker dude with long stringy hair and a diry jean jacket, you usually still did. It was free food.

One woman worked at a bakery called Flour Power. She brought our morning show a few cakes. I ended up dating her, and getting a lot more cakes out or her. And gaining a few pounds in the process.

There was a story in Texas a few weeks back, about these teenagers that were giving drug-laced cookies to over 10 police stations.

One of the kids would say he was fulfilling court-ordered community service work for Mothers Against Drunk Driving, by dropping off the baskets of homemade treats.

A few officers ate the cookies, which amazes me. As a cop, I'd be overly paranoid. I remember a cop ordering a Big Mac years ago, and finding out the kid blew his nose in it.

There was a story a few months back I just thought of. Some politicians were mad that drug dealers were using flavored cocaine to make it more appealing to kids. I thought that was odd. If they thought that would make it more appealing to kids, children would've been snorting Pixy Stix long ago.

I haven't had one of those in a long time, but...how do you keep the end of that straw from getting wet and closing shut? If you keep it far from your mouth, the flavored dust gets all over your face.

Does anyone remember hearing the members of Motley Crue talking about how they partied with Ozzy Osbourne once, and he snorted up a line of ants?

Okay, it's late. I'm not even sure if I'm on the same topic I initially started on. What was it? Oh yeah, cookies.

I've dropped off donuts at police and fire station. They were in the boxes they were packaged in but you could open it up, you know like Krispy Kreme box or those pink boxes. I sure hope they ate them and didn't throw them away. But I guess you have a point. Too bad people would do something like spike the food.

That's interesting, ponzi. What was your point for doing that? Not that those people don't deserve those things. I'm sure, though, most times they can assess the situation. And if the person has a reason, says "You guys helped my wife out when her car broke down...." they probably hear stuff like that a lot, and have no problem eating the donuts.

That's why I took the treats to the fire station and police sub-station - they helped me in a bad accident. It was also when those Krispy Kremes were around and you could get several boxes for a good deal, like two for one. I figured it would be a nice gesture. The police accepted them and took them inside. The fire/paramedics asked me into their station and gave me a tour. One dude was doing bench presses when I walked in and he came over and started scarfing down on a donut right away. Those guys get hungry.

He should've done a Homer Simpson type of move, and started putting donuts on the bench press pole, instead of the weights. Each time he brings it down to his chest, he can take a bite.

Anyway, that was a cool gesture on your part. I like to use that cliche, when I hear people bitching about the police, that "They'll be the first people you call when you're in trouble." And they really do put their life on the line helping society.