DJ Tanner

As I watched my favorite TV shows this weekend, including but not limited to the Real Housewives franchise on Bravo, I grew increasingly jealous of these ladies of leisure, particularly the NJ clan. Usually it’s their diamonds and daytime trips to AC that have me green, but this time it was their bronzed skin. I’ve gotten to a point where the sun scares me. I no longer take pleasure in sun bathing in fear of looking like Magda from There’s Something About Mary. I think at age 26 it is a legitimate fear. That and crowded places, long lines, loud talkers. So what’s one to do on a Sunday night (Easter Sunday nevertheless) to get a tan like Dina Manzo? I could have tried spray tanning, but in Brooklyn I’d probably come out ten shades darker. Instead, I decided to walk over to my local Rite Aid and pick up self tanner. I’ve tried L’Oreal’s Sublime Bronze Luminous Bronzer last year. My complaint is not uneven coverage, but rather the color looked so unnatural. It’s never a good sign when people’s reaction is “what happened to you” not “you look great.”

Moisturizer for the body and facestood out to me. These products always get rave reviews in every magazine. Why not try? I chose the mositurizer for light to medium skin tones. It promises a tan that gradually builds over several days. After two days of use I don’t have too much to report. Sorry! But I will say, if it works, it must be a very slow process. I have not noticed any change. Also, avoid the facial moisturizer. It feels like suntan lotion. It’s super greasy and I can feel the pimples forming. I wouldn’t recommend using a liquid foundation on top as you’ll need blotting pads all day long. The body moisturizer feels nice, pretty smooth and light. When you first apply you’ll see glitter on your skin. Don’t panic, the sparkles fade. You won’t look like J-Lo in her Waiting for Tonight video. The real conclusions will be drawn in one week after several days of use, as they promised. Keep your eye out for the results!