Prom – Everywhere
OMG it’s Julie Taylor! Love her little confused Texan ass. Also, I just heard she’s vegan so I’m feeling pretty loving toward her. That said, this is a 2nd rate teen comedy (term used loosely) in the vein of Can’t Hardly Wait but not quite as charming. Despite the fact that the male lead looks about 50-years-old, I like the fact that some of the other kids look like kids–kinda cute and kinda dumpy in that high school way. These movies are never actually funny but they are kinda sweet, ya know? If you’re a sucker for teenomedies, you’ll check it out. If you’d rather die, then yeah.

The Robber – Lumiere
It’s about a man who robs for the love of the thrill, not for the money. Must be nice! There are some really excellent chase scenes which makes sense because it’s an Austrian film. What? My one bone to pick is that the lead guy wears a Ronald Regan mask when he’s out robbin’ and we all know that’s already been taken.

The Barber of Seville – Balboa
This is part of the Balboa’s series of operas, ballets and Shakespeare productions that were recently newly filmed live in Europe. So continental! If you’re into opera–and who isn’t?**–check it out!

The Princess Of Montpensier – Embarcadero
I almost didn’t review this movie because I couldn’t spell it and that’s the fucking truth. I don’t want to sugar coat my commitment to you people, you should know how it is. I know the French are cheesy as shit but I do love a sweeping historical drama, and this one set in the 16th century delivers. The costumes are exquisite, the overacting is phenomenal, and the story will have you crying and masturbating simultaneously. Too much? You’re just like the monarchy who tried to suppress the daring sexuality of its princess!