Hey Stupid, Listen Up!

I ask God for signs all the time. And I’m always clear in stating that I’d like said signs to be blatantly tangible because I can be a little slow on the uptake – I don’t seem to recognize subtlety! I guess there is/was a lot of need for concrete evidence running through my mind – ah, the ego at it’s very best – “show me”!!

So when I refer to myself as stupid, it’s just me laughing WITH my Self! Laughing at the things I do, the things I’ve done, and the thoughts I sometimes have. As I’ve said before, thinking can be a dangerous undertaking.

Anyway, I received SO many blessings yesterday. The “in your face” kind of blessings which were impossible to ignore – ask and you shall receive (hahaha)!

It started with a free coffee – you gotta love that. With coffee in hand, I started my day checking emails – part of my daily ritual. I follow a few blogs and the first post I read via 1EarthUnited – Ode to my ego – farewell forever sweet and sour prince of dreams!, really resonated with me, so I sent a quick note giving thanks for those timely words. Next post via Ganesh at Known is a Drop, Unknown is an Ocean – Now is a good time!. Read it and you’ll understand. I sent a note stating that I felt blessed because this was the second timely message I’d received, within a 10 minute span.

So on with the day, which I’ll admit was not very productive by societal standards. Mid-afternoon I stopped doing nothing in order to catch a free Facebook Livestream provided by a man by the name of Panache Desai. It was about “cultivating your I AM Mastery”.

I was introduced to Panache Desai through a link to a website, sent by a wonderful friend. The site is called “Healing with the Masters”, and I tuned in mid-season last year. They do bi-weekly webcasts with various speakers all talking about spirituality. Me being me, I started thinking that each speaker had the answer I was looking for, and I became hooked! The webcasts on this site are free, but each of the speakers has recordings that can be purchased. I bought a few that first season, just because I did! Now in my defense I need to state that I’d already stopped buying “self-help” books because I found myself finishing sentences before they had even been read! The books I’d been buying weren’t doing anything for me anymore because I somehow understood that I knew as much, and perhaps even more, than they did.

That said, I still felt the need to search for more. I was still looking for “teachers” who seemed to have what I so desperately wanted! I finally grew tired of that when I realized that I was confusing myself even more – pushing me further away from my Self. I’d been swimming against the current hoping to find the missing piece to the puzzle to make me complete. So I unsubscribed from that website, but I’d still recommend it to anyone in search mode – there is always something to be gained from a modality that one might resonate with. So many paths to lead us “home”, I truly feel that it’s my responsibility to provide possible “leads” as they were provided to me.

One person and the recordings that resonated with me the most, came via Panache Desai. He talks about vibrational transformation – the clearing of density (the stuff I lovingly refer to as bullshit), and transmits energetic frequencies meant to do just that. Skeptical – well have a listen before making up your mind. Here’s the link to his site and the specific programs I listened to: http://www.panachedesai.com/products/detail/cultivating-your-i-am-mastery-part-2

You’ll find part 1 about mid-page where there is a ink to the facebook livestream – and you don’t have to join facebook to hear it. You may have to join his site to listen to part 2 though.

So, as mentioned above, yesterdays “transmissions” were done in two parts. Part 1 via Facebook in the afternoon, and Part 2 via webcast on his site. I listened to part one, felt increasing vibrations and then went about my day doing more nothingness – I did meditate and I did make dinner. Then I tuned in for Part 2, which ran from 9:00 pm until 10:00 pm. I was vibrating on warp speed by the time it was done.

Not long after the second webcast ended (24 minutes after) I received a text from a friend asking how I was doing, and wondering how she might help. This friend, I must add, is currently in Bali – on the other side of the world! Talk about blessings! When I read the text I spoke out loud giving thanks for such a blatantly obvious sign. I was laughing out loud because I finally understood that I’ve been receiving these blessings all along. It became perfectly clear that blessings abound and apparently you don’t even have to go looking for them.

In that moment I think my heart opened up. I spent a little more time just being with my thoughts and then knew it was time to meditate. When I laid down and closed my eyes, I was able to see so much more. I felt like I was finally seeing “through” MY eyes. I was hearing a silence that doesn’t exist, residing in emptiness, which is completely full. In that dark space of nothingness, the only thing I sensed was my beautiful smile.

I realized that there is food in my home – something to be grateful for. In fact, I have plenty to eat, enough to allow me to share. I live in luxury, although many might judge that not so. I have enough cash for my morning coffee – I love me some Starbucks!! My kingdom does not include a coffer maker, but I’ve got a kettle and plenty of tea, so what else could I possibly need? And why, oh why, had I been stressing over nothing??

I was calm – although I thought my heart might pop out of my chest. I was still – but vibrating so strongly that I thought I could light a bulb with my bare hands. And most importantly, I felt peace.

Did I see the light in that moment? I’d have to say yes, although it wasn’t bright, nor blinding, no color, not actually there. I’ve been searching for that too – more of that concrete evidence I thought I needed to see, in order to know that I’d “arrived” at the magical, mystical place of self-realization or enlightenment – there are so many names! I knew that all I need to do is remain open to it all – to keep seeing the good, the light in me. I wasn’t afraid anymore – of “it” or “me”.

And in that space I fully understood that it’s ALL been a sign to get my attention, and that gifts come in all sorts of packaging. I knew there wasn’t a thank you big enough for what I felt and what I could see. My Thank You had no beginning or end – so I just said Thank You for this moment in time. Then I started to laugh because I couldn’t help thinking that God is pretty funny, in fact, I think she has a wicked sense of humor. It’s like she wrote “Hey Stupid” in the sky for all to see – just imagine that phenomena and you’ll laugh right along with me.

And then more blessings were revealed – the piece of paper used to write down my thoughts for this post – given to me by my two and a half year old neighbor who is learning to share. I think he knew how important it might be!

I also remembered an untruth I’d been told earlier in the day, and how I’d almost made it personal – “does that person really think I’m that stupid”? But I realized that the story was also okay. Not personal, not meant for me – I just had to listen to a story that needed to be told, then I quickly let that go.

So many blessings, in so many forms – I feel like the riches person in the world.

Will these feelings last, will I write like this tomorrow? I don’t really care, because I got to write about this today.

every day is a new journey. some days we sleep walk and others we’re wide awake.
we need both, but man, it feels good to wake up and see what there is to see. thanks for sharing! I’ll check out Mr Desai.

Hi Adriana, thanks so much for both reading and commenting! I use to think that once awake, we would always reside there. I’m much more comfortable now knowing that’s not always the case, yet it feels good anyway!

Awesome post, and congrats on your awakening! At some point, there’s nothing left to learn… so there’s nothing left to do. In that purest emptiness state, absolute shunyata, there’s nothing but radiating and sharing your essence-being. You’ve just tasted heaven – how cool is that! Did you check out the “squirrel story”? It’s quite divine:

“I also remembered an untruth I’d been told earlier in the day, and how I’d almost made it personal – “does that person really think I’m that stupid”? But I realized that the story was also okay. Not personal, not meant for me – I just had to listen to a story that needed to be told, then I quickly let that go.”

I quickly let that go…

sometimes I am comparitively slow at this(reaching out from within, and letting it go), and revert to the Me, and the ‘taking it personally’, the – this MUST be about ME, after all, it’s adressed to me…but it isn’t of course, it was for the author, as always. Some days it seems, there are too many tests, when we were promised in that ‘moment’ that there wouldn’t be anymore at all…that the living would begin in earnest. illusion again…

Thanks for sharing that smile, in your ‘moment’. It allowed me to regain mine..for this moment, at least. Many blessings. Many happy returns.

Hi Birchpoet, what a beautiful comment. I’m just learning to see things for what they are and let them go. I tend to hold tightly to issues and then make up a story to confirm my feelings. I’m learning to pay attention to what I’m saying and where it’s taking me, but sometimes …
Thanks so much for taking the time to both read and comment on the post.
Much Love

Days, moments, experiences are like individual grains of sand, they make up the beach or sandboxes of our lives. Treat each with your best that you have in that moment. When you look at your beach and sandbox you will realize that you have earned it. Like each moment in this post, you are creating your own paradise of awareness and awakening “Sand”.
We are never not blessed are we?

Hello My Friend, your comment could not be more timely as I had one of those “aha” moments this morning in understanding what it means to live true in each moment.
I believe that we – our selves, are the blessing!
Much Love – always!

Hi Tomas, thank you so much for taking the time to visit and comment on my blog. I had a chance to read some of your posts today, and I love what you are saying. I’ve now joined your list of followers and I thanks you for following mine.
Much Love