Chances are you will never make a hole-in-one on St Andrews and make Tiger Woods cry, but if you do, make sure your equipment is in full technicolour for the photo opportunity. Most of us know of people who will defend golf as a “sport” but we know better; at best we can allow for it to be called “outdoor activity with a goofy dress code.”

At least we can help you match those crazy coloured pants with a range of fully coloured golf essentials. The sevilla gift box comes loaded with tees, plastic markers and a fork, which can even be used to brush your clubs clean; our golf glove can be worn out on the course or at a disco during your wild impersonation of Michael Jackson and with the scorecard holder you can make sure you lower your handicap with just a few minor adjustments to your final score.