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Monday, October 10, 2005

As part of the celebrity dance, Coldplay, U2, Oasis and Albarn-Blur-Gorillaz all got prizes for turning up - best act in the world, best live act, best album/people's choice and best video/best producer, although you could probably scramble those prizes up and nobody would mind much.

Chris Martin was testy when he picked up the Best Act in The World prize: "Some of you probably hate us but I couldn't give a fuck because we're the Best Act In The World." Ah, bless. Although we're not sure how that squares with the public blubbing he was going through the week before last when he sobbed over those nasty reviews he got.

Peter Hook, who was there as part of a New Order contingent being annointed as Q legends, was also testy when he picked up his prize, calling Q "two-faced cunts who give us bad reviews".Sixty-five years in the music business and he still hasn't grasped that individuals writers do the reviews, and the magazine as a whole present the awards. And how many faces should a cunt have, come to that?

Paul Weller picked up an Outstanding Contribution; Nick Cave a Classic Songwriter, Bjork and Inspiration, the Bee Gees a Lifetime Achievement and John Lennon, who has been a long time, was awarded a Classic Award. Yoko Ono - brand manager for John Lennon - turned up to ensure the prize was put onto Ebay straight away, and the prize money properly counted. She said this is just the sort of thing that John would have loved:

"I wish he (John) was here today, he would have loved it."

We bet he would have done, too. Although it would have marked him out as a stinking hypocrite, hanging around industry backslapping booze-ins; it was rather brave of Yoko to admit that.

She then recounted how he woke her up one night asking, 'Why do they cover Paul's songs but never mine?" telling the audience that she replied "You're a good songwriter. It's not just June with spoon that you write.

"You're a good singer and most musicians are probably a little bit nervous about covering your songs."

Well, yes, they'd be nervous about covering them because who would want to leave themselves open to the ridicule of sticking out a load of half-formed spirtualistic claptrap? (Sit down, Madonna). And while we can all enjoy a quiet snicker at the jibe at Macca's simplistic rhymes, on Imagine John rhymes "one" with "one" at one point - at least June/spoon has got a slight novelty about it, what with the extra word.

Waterloo Sunset got a Classic Song prize - Cathy dennis' cover version painted out of history - while James Blunt was named best new act, disappointing those of us who'd hoped he'd be forgotten as quickly as hed arrived. KT Tunstall won a prize, apparently for best track for something called Black Horse and The Cherry Tree. Q's Innovation in Sound prize went to the Prodigy, presumably for the bravery in releasing an album without a coherent idea behind it last year.