Imprint Left After Trump Defeats France’s Macron in Thumb Wrestling

CANADA – At this week’s G7 summit in Quebec, French President Emmanuel Macron tried to assert his dominance over President Trump by engaging in a surprise thumb wrestling contest. The dual lasted less than 7 seconds and left an imprint of Macron’s digit on Trump’s hand.

According to White House spokesperson Sarah Sanders: “The president did not appreciate President Macron’s sad attempt at trying to out-alpha him. When Mr. Macron launched his unprovoked thumb wrestling attack, President Trump used several rope-a-dope thumb maneuvers to quickly subdue Macron and end the cheap, political stunt by the French president. To teach him a lesson, the president pinned Mr. Macron’s thumb firmly against his hand for approximately 10 seconds, resulting in the imprint you all noticed on the president’s hand afterward.”

Little Macron, who, along with German leader Merkel and Canada’s Justin Trudeau, has been critical of Trump’s policies regarding climate change, trade tariffs, and his “America First” attitude. They’ve been constantly trying to one-up the American president at the summit.

Sanders said the French president later challenged Mr. Trump to a pissing contest, to cement the world’s elitist hold on globalism that is currently being threatened by the American outsider. President Trump politely declined, suggesting Macron buy himself a sports car instead.