Monster Killer Logo Theater

As October is the month of Halloween, we here at Twinsanity wanted to cover something scary to commemorate the occasion. We thought back on all of the horror movies and suspenseful shows and chilling works of fiction we’ve read, but then we remembered something that never fails to send a chill down our collective spines: creepy TV production logos!

Most children of the cathode tube have at some point in their lives encountered them (usually during childhood): those sudden bursts of noise, light and strange, often unsettling imagery that pop up at the very beginning or end of TV shows and home videos, disturbing your equilibrium and sending you running out of the room screaming. Well, brace yourselves, ’cause Twinsanity presents for your viewing displeasure….Monster Killer Logo Theater.

First, we present the old Paramount Television end production logo, unofficially nicknamed the “Closet Killer” logo. I guess the music was supposed to make it sound majestic, but it just sounded like someone was sneaking up behind you with a blunt object.

Next, the Mark VII logo; older TV fans may remember it from Dragnet. Just who was that burly guy whose hands we saw chiseling the production logo? Hephaestus? The Brawny paper towels guy? Paul Bunyan? Some backwoods drifter with a thing for clobbering people with hammers? The mind boggles.

Up next is the Simitar Entertainment logo, scary due to its’ techno-industrial look and utter electronic loudness.

I swear, that’s going to be the national anthem of the Robot Uprising.

Don’t think letters are scary? Forget what Sesame Street told you about ‘S’ looking like a snake. This ‘S’ will freak you right out!

…And another Alphabet Killer, the scary V Juggernaut from Viacom.

“IT’S HEADED RIGHT FOR US!!!!”

On a similar vein, here’s the Group W productions logo. What is it with these killer letters anyway?

Next, this ident for the BBC, used from 1990 to 1997. What makes it unsettling is how bleak and maudlin it sounds for what’s supposed to be a simple station ID bump. Geez, did someone die?

“It sounds like a dirge. I love it.”

Next, the View Askew production logo. If there was ever a production logo worthy of the term “creepy”, it’s this one.

Next, those unsettling trumpeters from the opening of Davey and Golaith.

Those trumpeters were truly the harbingers of doom; not only did they seem to signify that death was right around the corner, but they did something even worse: heralded the arrival of another episode of Davey and Goliath!

Next up, not a production logo, but still a notorious chiller from my childhood, the opening sequence from TV’s Nanny and the Professor from 1970-71. I’ll be honest here: I remember very little about this show for the simple fact that the floating animated cape from this opening would always send me screaming out of the room.

Finally, we’ve saved the worst for last. If you think your heart can handle it, try and sit through the BND logo from 1990 without flat-lining:

Imaging THAT coming on to your screen in a dark room. If your kids come screaming into your bedroom while leaving behind trails of urine in the halls, you’ll know why. If you see this creepy head anywhere, don’t look, don’t blink, don’t think, just RUN!!!!!

I grew up with most of those logos. If anything they don't seem scary, but almost comforting – you accepted these little displays once your favorite shows were over. I rather liked the older Screen Gems logo which showed lines dancing in a blaze of colorful lights.

As for the Opening intro of Davey & Goliath, I think you're being harsh! It's actually a centuries old hymn called, “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” – written by Martin Luther who began the Lutheran church. Most folks today just think of it as the “Theme from Davey & Goliath”. I happened to hear it on the radio one day (having been station surfing one Sunday) and the song was being covered by a chorale for a religious music station. It sounded quite beautiful!

Sure, we can look back on many of these fondly now, even laugh at them, but it's a different thing when you're watching the likes of these as a kid when anything strange, artsy or different can be frightening. Lots of folks relayed these “horror stories” to us in various message boards and on YouTube. It's all in good fun.

As for the Davey & Goliath opening, we weren't knocking the song, just those faceless trumpeters. They freaked both of us out as kids!

Other people have suggested some production logos of their own choices which we personally didn't find to be scary or disturbing at all, not even as kids. Some of them we rather liked, such as the old Rankin-Bass production logo. Of course, we can laugh about it now, but we picked the production logos that gave us the heebie-jeebies as kids.

Regarding “Davey & Goliath”, I never gave the show or the music in it much thought, but those trumpeters in the intro were/are creepy! They have no faces!