If you haven’t been following along, West Virginia’s Bucky Boyd is the voice of a new generation, assuming that generation’s voice is barely literate and can’t say simple words properly. He’s a … boxer, I think? A toughman competition competitor? Really all you need to know is that he’s a 7-foot yokel giant who also happens to basically be the crappiest fighter imaginable. Listening to him talk is like Christmas morning for me. It’s like Taiwan Animation falling out of a dude’s mouth.

Bucky competes in the ROUGH N ROWDY BRAWL, a two night, single elimination boxing contest that is both rough and rowdy and takes place in Beckley, WV, on November 1. He laid out an open challenge and had it answered by three of the weirdest, saddest people your imagination could conjure. THE BARR has made his decision, and has chosen his opponent by uh … eating a stuffed animal, setting it on fire and then going to the grocery store. Because … Bucky?

SHITTLINS.

SHITTLINS. Also, I’m pretty sure that went from “I’m gonna beat you up” to “I’m gonna try to have sex with you” at some point. I am so excited for the Rough N Rowdy Brawl, you guys.