Not to blow things out of proportion, but let's face it: this head cake really sucks!

[bowing to tumultuous applause] Thank you, thank you. Yes, it was quite a mouthful, but I'm glad I got it out of my system.

Alisa K., Kierstyn S., Miki C., Sarah H., and Chelsea & Claire, be sure to bookmark this post for Christmas day. After all, it's nice to liven up the usual awkward silences with family with a few extremely awkward stifled screams of laughter. [nodding seriously]

Today’s charity, Doctors without Borders, provides emergency aid in nearly 60 countries to people whose survival is threatened by violence, neglect, or catastrophe. They operate independently of any political, military, or religious agendas, and in 1999 received the Nobel Peace Prize.

okay, maybe i'm just a little too innocent yet to get what's funny about these cakes (although highly hilarious comment of "Not to blow things out of proportion, but let's face it: this head cake really sucks!" makes me wonder.....) Okay, that pun was funny but I still don't understand what that has to do with these cakes. They are ugly, though..... And do have a bit of an "o-face" (tee hee, Office Space!!!!) Anyhow..... I never want one of those to show up on my table. Ooo! Santa Baby......

I've always loved that your blog is usually squeaky clean (even with the occasional potty humor!). I have to say I'm disappointed with the innuendos in this one. All of the ladies at my church LOVE your blog- but I'm embarrassed I referred them after seeing this post. :(Please keep it clean Jen!

Do you suppose that first cake was created in the L.A. area? I hear they are into stuff like that out there--it's only natural that standard of beauty would carry over to the Santa cakes of Southern Cal.

Anony 10:31--

It seems that Jen has started to provide notes of warning at the beginning of posts that readers might find objectionable. To me, this seems a great compromise--she still gets to run her blog the way she wants to, and readers who don't like that sort of thing have ample opportunity to skip that day's post. I'm sure the church ladies can read the disclaimer and make their own choices about reading further. (And some church ladies-ahem-still think this blog is awesome.)

Well blow me, you managed to offend someone again......I dunno, what's the world coming to?Number 2 puts a whole new slant on the old Xmas joke 'meet me under the Christmas tree and I'll kiss you under the balls.....'I know, I'm going straight to hell....

<--- A church lady who LOVED today's post! I'm with Anonymus 10:45--disclaimers are the perfect solution, not only because some of us need to prepare ourselves for things that may be just a tad "blue", but also because I work in an office with no walls and everything I see needs to be strictly SFW!

If you find yourself blushing, think of it this way: the more the errors of these bakers' FunDoll-replicating ways is publicized, the less likely that the bakers will unwittingly make these sorts of mistakes. Therefore, the less chance these cakes will show up at Walmart, where the kids will point and say "I WANT!"

oh my, the nostalgia. i can almost remember the days when, rather than screaming with laughter erm, hard enough to wake up the cat, i would have simply stared blankly at the screen and think "yeha, they're pretty bad, and those lips are kinda weird, but i don't get what's so funny." i think i actually prefer it this way though, even if my stomach doesn't thank me.--mal

Ofcourse the post today was too too funny, but i am writing to say that I have never heard of Doctors Without Borders before today. That is a way cool thing for them to be doing and for anyone who helps. Thank you Jen and John for all that you are doing.

that first Santa looks like he's watching porn. the blush, the big eyes, the sense of amusement.... maybe he's watching the other santas get it on. a santa orgy! eww! I'll never look at the big guy the same way again! I wonder what input the dwarves would have on this...they are SHORT, too. just the right height for hanky panky....

After the warning, I was looking forward to some good bawdiness...I kinda thought you went a little light on us. What does that say about me? Or does it say more about those that were offended? Hmm...a bit of both, methinks.

I would like to suggest Feeding America (formerly Second Harvest) as a charity, if you are still taking suggestions. They help combat hunger here in America. It is truly surprising how many people right here in the US are starving. http://feedingamerica.org/default.aspx?SHOW_SHOV=1

The thing I don't understand is how consistently you use this pan for various other things.

I mean, the last time I checked Santa's beard did not have a divot in it.

Unless someone has been secretly playing golf on it when he goes to sleep at night.

sincerely,green

Dear Jen and John,

Ooh, bawdy.

Sincerely,green

yederma (ye!der'mah) n: 1. The outermost layer of skin that feels pain caused by cakes decorated in a poor manner. 2. The aura of skin effected by bad icing or fondant application in concordance with a cake or cake like creation.

My yederma hurt for weeks after I saw those suggestive Santa Clause cakes at the store.

as one who complained about the inuendo before...I appreciate and think the warnings are perfect. Thank you!! (and thanks for a laugh...even those of us who are uptight like a roll in the gutter now and then :)!)

Just checking on the First Giving page shows (fanfare please): Childs Play $1,775; Doctors Without Borders $1,910.50; Heifer $$5,003; Love146 $42; Puffy Paws $3,056.25, and ShareOur Strength $2,132. St. Judes and Charity: Water aren't on the First Giving page.

So c'mon people - you KNOW you get at least a dollar's worth of laugh here every day, it's time to put your money where your mouth is! HO HO HO and OH OH OH!

What's up with all of these wreckers using heart-shaped cake molds? I've noticed it all over the place, and they always try to make them into a face, which doesn't turn out very well...I love your blog so much! Consistently the highlight of my day.

Jen, I think you showed remarkable restraint in your comments. Very nearly everyone who would look at these cakes would get the idea. Church ladies, politically correct, prudes, and protesters alike! With or without your disclaimer! Face it, folks. If you understand the joke your mind already knows all about "dirty" stuff. Get over it. If you don't like her choices, stop coming here! Don't try to make the rest of world conform to your set of morals. If you can't laugh at life, it becomes utterly unbearable!

This post reminds me of The Golden Girls episode where Blanche brings a mall Santa home and after being caught by the girls with him, goes into this hilarious speech about why Santa Claus gets her horny. I don't know how Rue McClanahan got through that with a straight face, because the first time I saw that episode, and I think I was 13 at the time, I was laughing so hard I was crying.

I'm not much worried about Santa's naughty innuendos, but the terrifying, staring bird-like eyes on Santa #1 have me ready to run for the hills!

I have to say, though, what stands out most to me is the price tag on the last Santa - $25.99 for a highly decorated cupcake? Do they realise that a cupcake amounts to, at best, two mouthfuls of cake? Price for value very poor, Santa!

The Santa cakes remind me of the day I was in the mall with my Grandmother. In one particular store there were novelty items. At the back of the store were the really novel items, coffee mugs in the shape of a breast etc. And blow up dolls, packaged with the face in full view. I tried to distract her but she went there anyway. Thus the question "Why are their faces like that?" I was 18...I just shrugged and wandered off to my happy place in my head. Then I hear "ohhhhh my! Well, I think I've seen enough, and so have you." We beat a hasty dignified exit from the store. I still laugh thinking about it.

Oh oh oh, Jen! I love you! I was given a coffee mug many years ago - and I think the inscription suits you perfectly: "You're perverted, twisted, and sick. I like that in a person!"

Had a long, difficult day - went to your blog as soon as I got home and whoosh - the load is lifted and I'm dying laughing. Thank you, you nut!

Anon 7:19 et al - Please don't tell others how to write their blogs. You could just go and write your own blog. The cakes on this site are comical - but it's the commentary of Jen and John that makes them HILARIOUS. If you don't always appreciate their humor, oh well. Come back tomorrow...or not.

I'm sorry but I am disgusted by this post. Consider this blog un-subscribed.Just the other day I referred members of my support group for Ex Christmas Themed Sex-Workers to Cakewrecks, but this post has just brought back all the terrible memories: the aching jaws, the trying to get their beards clean at the end of the day. How COULD you?

I think that not only is this post inappropriate and vulgar, but I would also like to point out that the infants found all over your site are nude and therefore obscene. Not to mention that their "punk style" mo-hawk haircut is offensive. Also, they are riding carrots which seems horribly wrong from a Freudian angle. I suggest that the infants be clothed with Little Lord Fauntleroy suits, given proper military haircuts, and placed on something appropriate to ride, such as a cabbage.

I am now an official wreckporter, pass me the t-shirt :D Better keep myself annon this time to avoid the wrath of the cakewreck creator.. And to all the nay sayers, REALLY??? You complain about CakeWrecks innuendos?? I read dirtier (and much more upsetting) things in the news, and guess what.. ALL of us HAVE SEX (the adults anyways ;) ) get over it..

You gave more than fair warning and still kept the main part of the blog clean (for innocent minds). With that warning you KNOW the commentary is what you need to be careful about with young eyes. Well done, please don't pull this for offensiveness (like the Borat wedding wreck -that should be unblocked, it wasn't bad).Anywho, great blog! Ultra-scary Santa's - He sees you when you're sleeping...! We call that the stalker song at our house since the Be Good or Else blog - these Santas all have spooky eyes too.First time doing a word verification, but couldn't pass this up:wv: supto -What do you think all those Santas are supto?

I like John's rundown of what's to be found on the internet, but it doesn't account for all the animal photos with goofy captions people keep insisting on sending me. Better to receive dozens of those than one of these cakes, I guess.

Didn't anyone else notice that #2 has 3 little boobs on his face? I couldn't even look at his lips while I was distracted by that anatomical absurdity.

And please, give it a rest. So one person made a request for what she would like to see on this blog. And maybe you don't agree. Jen can ignore her and keep going, but it's not necessary to pick on the commenter.

I just discovered cake wrecks...and may I just say, FUNNIEST thing I have ever read. I start pastry school in the fall, with hopes of becoming a bakery owner a la Ace of Cakes...Anyway, I've been making my way through all these entries, so sorry this is a little late. But your caption under the Santa that is shaped like...erm...A "heart", seemed like it should be a poem. So I turned it into one.

"Brown lips, chocolate chips; looks like a part below the hips.

I guess he hasn't been dropped on the floor...Gee, who could ask for more?"

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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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