Comedic Male Monologue: “Reservoir Dogs” Mr. Pink

Uh uh, I dont tip. No, I dont believe in it. Dont give me that, if she dont make enough money she can quit. I dont tip because society says I have to. All right, I mean Ill tip if someone really deserves a tipping, if they really put forth the effort, Ill give them something extra, but I mean this tipping automatically, its for the birds. I mean as far as Im concerned theyre just doing their job. She was okay. She wasnt anything special. Look I ordered coffee all right? Now weve been here a long fuckin time, shes only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee I want it filled six times. The words too fuckin busy shouldnt be in a waitress vocabulary. Jesus Christ, these ladies arent starving to death. They make minimum wage. I used to work minimum wage and when I did I wasnt lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tip worthy. You know what this is? Its the worlds smallest violin playing just for the waitresses. So is working at McDonalds but you dont feel the need to tip them do you? Well why not? Theyre serving you food. But no, society says dont tip these guys over here, but tip these guys over here. Thats bullshit. Fuck all that. I mean Im very sorry the government taxes their tips. Thats fucked up. That aint my fault. I mean it would appear that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. I mean show a piece of paper that says the government shouldnt do that, Ill sign it, put it to a vote, Ill vote for it, but what I wont do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit I got two words for that: learn to fucking type, cause if youre expecting me to help out with the rent youre in for a big fucking surprise.

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