Tuesday, 1 July 2008

No money, and a long way from major bus routes?There is no longer any need for you to miss out on the festival experience. Do as I did during the recent Glastonbury Festival, and follow my step by step guide to festival bliss :

Pitch a tent in your living room in front of the telly, there are several stages available to view on the BBC if you have a satellite dish and the 'red button ' facility. ( no not the one that unleashes Armageddeon Time.. ) if you feel you're too close to the action, try looking the wrong way through some binoculars.

To add to the ambience, don't empty your lavatory all day, and when you do- try using a hoover instead of flushing.

Don't leave the car outside the house, park it several miles away, preferably across some fields.

Lose your money/insulin/ ventolin inhaler, the panic and oxygen starved highs that can be achieved far out stretch any illegal drug 'trip'.

The lack of mud indoors can be a drawback, but a few hours heavy gardening between transmissions can soon restore the organic feel to your clothes , hair and general attire.

Eat badly and drink too much.

By the way I thought Elbow were on top form. Good to see 'friends' of my blog ( ha, ha ) The Ting Tings celebrating their meteoric rise on the John Peel Stage.