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Thursday, August 22, 2013

Turning Fifty?

It sucked. I won't lie. Turning 50 sucked.

Since I was 51 I got spayed, had two knees surgeries, had my esophagus rebuilt, broke my arm, had elbow surgery, was told I have to wear elbow braces, had nasal and sinus surgery, dislocated 3 fingers in my I Use It (left) hand and forever deformed it. I have had cancer scares. I seen the scale go over 200 pounds. I've gone pretty gray. I'm post-menopausal. My boobs have started to go south. My physical strength isn't what it used to be. My eyesight hasn't changed, but I seem to need sunglasses more. I have had to ask for more help. I've suffered from severe depression and insomnia.

I've lost my job as a professional singer and almost my career. I lived 18 months without my husband here as he worked out of state, taking care of a house and garden without being able to drive a car and not knowing what the hell I was doing.

I've lost good friends; some to death, some to misunderstandings, some to neglect and anger.

I've re-homed a beloved dog, agonizing about the decision. I've held two others as they were put to sleep within 6 months of each other.

My beloved sister in law, brother in law, uncle and aunt all died, 3 from cancer. My oldest dog died the same week as my sister-in-law.

I've nursed and supported my husband through two back surgeries, two knee replacements, losing his job, a debilitating assault and the stress and emotions as a result all of that.

I've lived with active drug addiction for 4+ years of hell and its aftermath. I've had items stolen from house, been threatened, etc. I've animals dumped on me to care for. My closest relationships have been scarred and beaten.

HOWEVER in this decade:
I've become a grandmother (without hatching) and a great-aunt.

I've made some wonderful friends.

I've stood up for what I believe in. I've testified to the Ohio State Judiciary Committee and a room full of people, terrified but not missing a beat.

I have raised and shown a Westminster-qualified champion dog. I've fostered and rescued dogs and cats. Two of our dogs received their Canine Good Citizen titles.

I've seen my writings published and praised nationally and internationally. I've won accolades and one award for my photography.

Just since 2007, I have officially started and completed (walked) 6 half marathons, 20 5Ks, a few 10 milers and a few 10Ks. As of 8/22/13, since I started keeping records (Jan. 2011) I've walked 535 miles. This year I have walked 153 miles.

Since I first started keeping records (as of Jan. 2011), I've ridden my bike over 1,339 miles as of this date (8/22/13). Last year, I rode 553 miles. This year alone, to date, I've ridden over 503 miles. Prior to this, I don't believe I'd ridden a bike 500 miles in my entire lifetime.