She was definitely loved

To be honest I don’t really know why I’m here. She’s not my sister. I didn’t even know her family when it happened. But even 11 years later going with my boyfriend and his sister to their sister gravesite hurt. Not because of the pain I was feeling but because of the fact that the pain never stopped for them. I love when they tell stories about her because I get to heard about how funny and exciting she was.
I know how much they hurt because after they’re done laughing about that funny memory from their childhood with their big sister, that moment where the laughter is dying down and someone is about to say something else. The expression on their face. Like for a moment they didn’t think about her pain or suffering and then the reality set right back in. I know there is literally nothing I can ever say to them. But my heart hurts for not only my boyfriend but for his sister who at 20 years old felt there was no other option. My heart goes out to anyone who has felt this pain no matter how much time has passed.