Tuesday, September 1, 2015

My Journey of HOPE...

God rescued us from dead-end alleys
and dark dungeons. He’s set us up in the kingdom of the Son he loves so much,
the Son who got us out of the pit we were in, got rid of the sins we were
doomed to keep repeating. Colossians 1:13-14The Message (MSG)

Hello, my name is Melissa and I have
been addicted to many destructive things: alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and men so
when I read the message version of Colossians 1:13-14 I wanted to make a
banner, ride down the street honking my horn and shouting it through a
bullhorn!

Before I was saved by Faith I was mixed up in so many dead-end alleys,
dark dungeons of hidden addictions and lived in a perpetual state of doom. While
I did manage sobriety before I invited Jesus into my heart it was a constant
struggle to maintain. I was always playing defense against my addiction:
avoiding friends and family who drank (nearly impossible), hid my
identification from myself and when you live in a college town that is the most
sure way to make sure no one sells you booze. While something deep inside of me
(now I know it was the Holy Spirit) told me I shouldn’t drink anymore I didn’t
have a purpose to stay sober and because I was a high functioning alcoholic,
who was able to hide that weakness so well only the most invested in my life
wouldn’t have figured it out and still probably wouldn’t have ever confronted
me because it would have seemed so unlikely to be true, I wondered why bother quitting.
It honestly made life easier; it turned off all of the hard emotions and kept
me from experiencing what has now been diagnosed as PTSD and a severe anxiety
disorder.

Once I had Jesus in my life I not only stopped struggling with the
overwhelming desire to drink every day I was able to be around alcohol. I can
stay for days, even weeks at my best friend’s house while she and her family are
away surrounded by a variety of adult beverages and never be tempted because I
am sober to be my best self for Jesus and to be the woman He has for me to be.
My sobriety means obedience to my Lord, my sobriety means I have HOPE, Faith
and Trust in the Creator of all things and my sobriety means I am free to make
the best choices in this life. I will never be cured from that addiction, I
know that one drink would lead to more and I would lose a hard fought decade
long victory over that particular addiction but in the day to day journey of
this life I live for Jesus now and not my next chance at a drink!