The Sad Story of Losing a Lovey

March 1, 2011

I had a really, really sad moment on Saturday.

One of those moments where you just feel like a terrible, awful mother and you’re so sad that you broke your little boy’s heart.

As you might have realized, I am starting to have an addiction to thrifting. I find myself getting super excited to go to Savers or Goodwill to see what junky treasures I can unearth. I don’t really think this is a bad thing (there are much worse addictions!) but it had been a little out of control last week.

Every other Saturday morning is 50% off everything at Goodwill. I’d never been before but I had a feeling that if you wanted to get anything good, you’d have to go early. This Saturday I got up early (cuz my kids wake me up EARLY) and my husband had to go to a service project. I decided to go to the sale and we managed to get out the door and to the store in time for the 9:00 am opening time.

It was a zoo! It was like Black Friday. It was absolutely crazy! And I was in such a hurry I wasn’t really paying close attention to any little details…like whether or not my two-year-old had his beloved Froggy with him.

Here’s a fun little tidbit to add to the drama: My son wanted a balloon so I got him one. He immediately let go of it and bawled his head off when I wouldn’t get him another one. Shortly after, I was ready to go and I realized that my baby had dropped my keys somewhere and they were now lost in the store. So we fought the crowd around and around the store searching everywhere. Finally a store employee found them and by this time I was really, really ready to go. And then my son uttered this horrific words:

“Where’s Froggy?!”

If you know my son, you will understand that this Froggy toy is like an appendage to him. He’s had it since he was born. He literally takes it EVERYWHERE. He will leave it somewhere in the house and cry and cry until we find it. He talks to it like it’s his best friend and hugs and kisses it. It’s his best source of comfort when he gets hurt or is sad. And it is the one toy that he definitely will NOT share. Even my baby knows how special it is and therefore gets his hands on it whenever he can.

Now it is not ideal to lose a toy like this at the store. But what is worse than that is this: Losing a ratty old stuffed animal in a store that sells ratty old stuffed animals. But I’d just combed the store searching for my keys and hadn’t seen it. And I didn’t even recall him having it at all, so I was pretty sure it was safely at home. We drove home.

No Froggy.

Horrified Mom.

Sad Will.

My husband came home so I went back to the store to search for another hour while my husband scoured the house. No Froggy. And I went back to my car and just cried. I cried for my little boy who just lost his best friend. I cried because I knew we couldn’t replace this toy. And I cried because I wanted him to have this toy until he died just like I still have some of my own stuffed animals. There is just so much love in that toy. And I cried because I felt like it was all my fault. I had even had a feeling telling me to just stay home and not go, but I shrugged it off. I had been a selfish mommy and now my son was paying the price. I prayed so hard to find that Froggy, but I kind of felt like I wouldn’t find it because it was my punishment for being selfish.

I went back home and searched for a similar Froggy on ebay. My hopes were not high since I had checked about a year ago to no avail. But miraculously there were actually two available. I bought one and it’s coming this week. When Will saw the picture of the new Froggy on my computer he said, “Froggy! I need get him out!” (of the computer). So we printed out a picture for him to cuddle up with in the meantime. But my husband and I still worried about our lost, lonely, and scared Froggy that was in a strange place missing his Will.

But here’s an unexpected turn of events: My husband had gone back Saturday evening with a picture of the toy and told them to call if it turned up. Guess what? It turned up!! They left me a message on my phone this afternoon and told me they found it! My heart did a happy dance and I drove my kids to the store to pick it up. I was seriously glowing. My son was overjoyed and has not parted with him since.

This sounds like such a silly thing for me to get so worked up about…It’s a stuffed animal, Heidi!! But the hardest part was knowing that I had caused so much pain to my darling little boy who is so innocent and pure. He kept saying “Froggy’s at the store. I miss him!”

For anyone who is a mother, seeing your child be so sad is such a hard thing, regardless of what it is about.

Lovely comments

That's such a precious story! I can totally understand where you're coming from, just not on the same level. When we stayed overnight at my mom's, I completely forgot my Matty's puppy. You would have thought he'd just watched me run over him with the lawn mower from the way he reacted. It made me feel SO bad. Your story has such a sweet ending!!

Thanks for being honest and posting the non-supermom stuff, too. It does my heart good to know I'm not the only one! Thanks for sharing!!

Oh I'm so glad it had a happy ending! At least you have another froggy just incase something happens to the first again:) My daughter doesn't have one thing like that…but she remembers every stuffed animal she ever got…so it makes it really hard to weed some out!

PS-The Goodwill Sale can be very addictive every other Sat! Its bad cause I have 4 within 15 miles of me! Yikes!

When I turned 16 my parents wrapped up and gave me my favourite stuffed animal as a child, ‘Puppy’ a little white dog with a rattle in its body. Anyways, I opened the gift and was so confused as to why they were giving him to me as I knew he was sitting on my dresser along with my other childhood stuffed animals. My mom went and grabbed the 'Puppy' who was sitting on my dresser and low and behold there were two of them! I couldn't believe it. She said that when I was little I wouldn't get go of 'Puppy' so they bought a second one so when one was in the wash or one got misplaced I always had the second one. For sixteen years they had me fooled and to this day I still own both my ‘Puppy’s’. Maybe finding that second ‘Froggy’ will be a blessing and when your son is old enough you can share both ‘Froggy’s’ with him and tell him the story of how ‘Froggy’ #2 entered his life without him ever knowing.

Oh poor baby! LJ is in love with his Elmo like that. I've contemplated getting him a new one cause his is so gross, but I think we would notice. It's adorable the love they have for their best buddies!

My own little 2 year old has a froggy as well. My 2 older boys never really cared about stuffed animals, but my 2 year old is very attached to froggy! I know exactly what you mean, I don't know what I'd do if he lost his froggy!

My youngest has a little Blue's Clue's blanket that Luvs had obviously given away at some point and he adores it. My oldest decided to cut a hole in it with some scissors recently and I was so stressed about how my youngest would react. Thankfully there was no drama, but those attachment toys are a lifesaver!

My daughter has a bunny, circa 1979, named Rufus, that retails for $100+ on ebay if ever lost. I've come close to losing him and know how you feel. For my second daughter I've made two identical lovies so I can't prevent such an incident. Glad you found froggie and have a replacement.

I was so sad because I thought you wouldn't find it because the title said it was a sad story. So when I got the the end and read that you had found Froggy, I was relieved! It is a sad story but with a happy ending (plus an extra lovey).

I'm so glad you found froggy! My boys have stuffed animals like that, they love thier bear-bear and puppy so much. I know a thing or two about loveys getting lost because I accidentaly lost my younger cousin's lovey on a family trip, she was heartbroken. For that reason I bought 2 of each our loveys and 2 each of thier first blankets… just in case. I already have a plan for when a lovey gets too gross… the lovey will go on a special trip to the doctor to get all fixed up, and *tada* New Lovey! That is what we ended up having to do with my cousin and it totally worked, she was thrilled that her bear's owies were all better.

Ah…my biggest fear is losing my daughter's monkey. I can imagine your pain…I was nearly in tears one day when we left behind monkey because the wails from my daughter were the same as if someone died…and to them, it is almost the same.

We too have a "Froggy", except ours is a Giraffe. I've even blogged about her boo on several occassions. We madly searched the internet for a spare when Giraffe started showing signs of aging. I was devistated when I found out he was discontinued. Finally I found 1 and IMMEDIATELY ordered it. I tell ya, I would have paid almost anything for that Giraffe! She ended up finding the spare and now has to sleep with both of them. But, there is still something magical about her 1st Giraffe, as he is the one she carries around all the time and is still the one she turns to for comfort.

I'm so happy Froggy was found! My son carries around a little monkey that he named "Baby Bear". But my rule has always been that he cannot get out of the car, that way he can never get lost! I would feel the exact same way you felt!

HURRAY!!!!! My heart was so sad and then got so excited by the end! I have three little ones that carry their blankets EvERYWHERE! I know how precious and how many memories are wrapped up in their little Lovely's. I am so happy for the safe return of froggy!!!

I almost lost my 2 year old son's "E", a classic eeyore with yarn hair which I can not find another one, I was on the verge of tears when I went back to the store and a wonderful employee found it in the parking lot and kept it in the store for the owner to come back for it. I totally understand your anguish.

OMG, My 2 year old has a bunny! And bunny looks like hes been through it all already! But we went out of town and forgot the flipping thing, no HUBBY forgot the thing! Let me tell you, we turned around drove 1.5 hours back just to get it! I seriously feel your pain!!!!

I think every mother can relate to this story. When my daughter was almost four we had to retire her dear dear Pengi. It was so much loved that it was loved to pieces. There was no way I could save it.While we were visiting my parents in Norway, my mom bought her any and every stuffed animal she would point at and finally she connected with a Jaguar and we quietly retired Pengi to a shoebox where he will stay till she turns 16 or something. She still talks about him and misses him, but is happy that he is in the "retirement home" of grandma and grandpas house.

Good writing. I'm glad you recorded this. It was a big deal for me, too: I prayed for Will and told Mark and Felicity all about it. Thanks for calling me during the drama. BUT try to remember that this happening did not mean you're not a bad mom! It could have happened at the park, on a playdate, or at church. At least Goodwill has people working there you could ask!

My Will also has a beloved Frog. We've lost him once so far (I didn't realize he was at home though). After hours online I found one and had it overnighted to us. I'm so glad you found a spare frog. We also have that same one that doesn't get alot of love currently, I was ready to send it to you if needed. I get the Lovey, I may or may not still have mine…..

Oh, the love that just abounds in your post. Love for your son, his love for Froggy. It's just beautiful, despite the circumstances.

And now I will search for a duplicate of my son's own beloved froggy. It doesn't leave the crib now (he's 14 months) but I could see it starting to travel as he gets bigger and losing his froggy would be a lot like you've described.

I know what you mean. As soon as my daugher got attached to a teddy bear and a blankey, I went and bought seconds of them online, for twice what I paid for the originals. It's been totally worth it, for the time when he gets dropped in the mud and has to take a bath in the wash, that way she still has one. Plus now I can wash them every week and keep them clean without her knowing 🙂 Such a life saver.

I always find it amazing how we literally feel our kids emotions. Not that it will make you feel any better but it is much worse with grandkids. It is a wonderful feeling most of the time. LOL Other times (like these) it is horrific.

I'm almost 30 years old and have a pillow lovey, called Bunnies, that I still sleep with every night. When I travel, it goes in my purse for fear of lost baggage. My husband is a liiiitle jealous. I'm so glad Froggy turned up!

Oh I'm happy for you to have found froggy! When I was a kid I had one of those blankets with the animal head on it that was a bunny. "Bubby" was his name. I lost him at a store one day (not a goodwill) and some lady was trying to buy him. I have no idea how she thought he was for sale because he was so "loved" there was no way should could have thought he was new. Another time I lost him for good so my mom borrowed the same one from the church nursery and made me an identical one off the pattern. Then she stitched my initials in him so that I would always know that it was mine from crazy ladies trying to buy him!

That is awesome you found his lovey. When I was in labor with my first kid, all the family was heading home from Thanksgiving. My Sister gives me a call in the hospital to see how it's all going. Before I could hang up she quickly added, Have you seen froggy? Oh we still laugh over that. They ended up searching the whole town and every spot they'd been to on Saturday and they found him. Lucky nephew.

So sad, I'm glad you ended up finding it though! I have a story from my childhood that I must share. I have a beloved little dog named Todo that I got when I was a baby. When I was four years old we went on a camping trip with extended family. On the Saturday my sister and I went with my mom and aunts to go garage sale-ing all day long. We went through so many sales, as you might imagine. When we got back to the campsite that evening I realized I did not have Todo anymore. My mom and aunt drove around to all the sales that we remembered going to, after they had already closed, and knocked on the doors asking about Todo. We did not find him and I was one sad child! I had to go to bed that night with no Todo 🙁 My mom kept looking even though it was already dark. At some point she remembered that we had gone into someone's house so I could use the bathroom. Sure enough, I had left Todo on the counter in the bathroom and when my mom finally remembered which house that was they had Todo waiting for us! Todo was left behind many more times in my childhood, but I fortunately still have him today 🙂

I always have that fear we will loose our "fuzzy", my son loves his lovey bear and rubs the tail to fall asleep, he carries it around the house and in the car when we go places. I guess after reading your story, I better be more careful because I know we couldn't replace it.~Edith

Oh my goodness I've so been there. In fact after the last lovey misplacement mishap I officially banned my son's last special snugglie (referred to as white nannie) from ever leaving the house. My mother can't say no to my son though and keeps letting him bring it places and keeps. losing. it. Thankfully white nannie must have guardian angels of his own because miraculously we've found him every time but I totally know your pain of seeing your babe mourning the loss of such a special friend. So glad Froggy is home safe where he belongs:) And now you have a back up!

Glad to see this story had a happy ending. I remember losing my mousie and being very sad. A lot of the family thought I'd left him in Texas, but I was sure I'd brought him along. I also lost Blabs I and III Jr., and joyful were the days I found those again.

It's not "just a stuffed animal." As you said, it has all that love packed up in it. It represents Will's happiness, and therefore yours too. Of course it's not as important as Will himself, or many other things, but it's still obviously a very important thing to him. Certainly to Will it's not just a stuffed animal.