Archive for July 7th, 2015

â€œYou have half our gifts. I the other. Together we make a whole. Together we are much more powerful.â€ â€“ Joss Stirl

Do I believe in “soul mates”?Â I believe in the possibility that they can exist. Not by chance but by cause and effect.

Do I think that by some random chance there is someone out there that is the best possible person for me? Not really. Do I believe that there is someone out there who COULD be the best possible person for me? Yes I do.

I don’t think a soul mate has to be left to chance. I believe that if you become open to who the person you are with is, you can become their soul mate. I know that if I spend enough time paying attention to the person I am with, I could become her soul mate. If I knew all her crazy quirks and played along to them. If I listened to her stories instead of texting while she was telling them. If I bring home the milk for her tea when shes out, without her asking. If I know she is angry and doesn’t need advice but just an ear to bounce it off. In time, I would be her soul mate.

I believe that if I were to do all the little things we often overlook, and even if she didn’t notice, someday she would look back and say she met her soul mate. Knowing what she wants before she asks isn’t esp its just called paying attention. There are so many little examples every day that occur that we can take a note of and bank for later. Favorite foods. Clean shaven face. Holding doors. Walking next to not in front of her. As some one once said ” its the little things that add up”

We don’t have someone out there who is waiting in the wings, that knows all these things. They take time to learn and then nurture into something that matters. Its all the small stuff that amounts to why someone stays in a relationship. It’s the things that make you feel loved. That make you feel like you matter. That make you feel like life wouldn’t be as good without her. The things that only two people share that they feel just from being in the same room together. The stuff you can’t pay for or fake. It’s the real things that only come from a connection, a bond , shared by two people open enough to accept into their life. There is something about being human , in our DNA, that allows us the chance to bond eternally, if we are open to it

What makes it so hard to have a soul mate is “it takes two to tango”. You can’t be someones soul mate without them being yours. Won’t work. Nope. So if you go about your life trying to do all the little things and get nothing in return, it won’t happen. Nada. Ziltch. Zippo.That is where the connection comes from. Both people need to open their hearts and minds to each other. And for that to happen, you would need to make your relationship the most important thing in your lives.

The real challenge is wanting and working for a soul mate, not searching or waiting for one.