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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

What's A Mother To Do?

Ever feel like your days go straight downhill? Ever wonder what made you think you could handle parenting more than one or two children? Ever think, "Why did I give up my career for this?"

I invite you to pull up a chair, right here at my kitchen table. I'll pour you a cup of your choice -- coffee or tea -- and offer you a scone. We're going to have a little chat about a young woman who spoke to our Mothers of Preschoolers group last Friday.

Ready? Take a deep breath and let's enjoy our time together. Whatever you've had to drop to sit awhile will still be there when we're finished.

Our guest speaker, Kim, was an amazing young woman -- wife, mother of three small children, and the children's pastor at her church. And here she was on time and ready to speak to us on a Friday morning. Well, she did admit her mother had driven her so she would be on time. And thank goodness her mother had done that, or she said she likely wouldn't have finished her notes for her talk.

The quality I loved about this young woman was her courage in sharing honestly and with such authenticity the low points in her days. Not every day was a high. Some were very low. Kim stressed that even the mom who looks as if she has it all together probably has some high stress days too. Like the day a week or so before when Kim had suffered a serious meltdown in front of her children. Kim even shared with us she had yelled at them.

Obviously she was at the end of her rope that day. The children wouldn't listen, she couldn't get things done, nothing was working. She ran crying into her bedroom, locked the door and called her best friend. Thank goodness for best friends! This friend allowed her to cry and tell her story. This friend just listened. She was able to unload all her frustrations and angst to this dear friend.

When Kim hung up from that call, she called her mother. (This is something I doubt that I'd have ever been able to do because my mother wouldn't have listened -- she would have criticized.) This young woman was far more blessed than me with a mother who did just listen.

All the while her two older children were crying and banging on the door wanting to know if mommy was all right. The youngest of her three, only six months old, was in her crib and likely oblivious to mommy's meltdown.

Kim waited until the next day to talk with her two oldest children about her actions. She asked how her yelling at them had made them feel. The older of the two said, "Afraid." "And sad." "Oh, and angry." The younger of the two just looked at her as she talked. Can you imagine how these words tugged at her mama heart strings?

Bless her heart, Kim held them close and told them that sometimes we all lose our cool, but the one thing mommy had forgotten was that she could lean on Jesus when things got tough. (And it's true we mommies do forget!)

She then went on to tell them how when they have difficult times they too can lean on Jesus, by just calling his name. What a blessing to their young hearts!

With her honesty and authenticity came more examples of the difficult days in her life. I could see in the faces of the moms at my table the relief at knowing that someone else had these same kinds of troublesome days. There were even moments of comic relief in her talk that gave great release to all the women in the room.

So, when you're having a tough day, call a best friend or if your mom is a good listener, call her. But if it gets so tough and you have no one to call at that moment, don't forget that you have Jesus to lean on. In Paul's second letter to the church at Corinth, he speaks of Jesus' words to him when he begged to have his burden removed:

"My grace is enough; it's all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your
weakness."

2 Cor. 12:9 (MES)

I pray that you will accept that you are not alone as you travel this journey as a mom. Perhaps you can find community among other moms who are also struggling. Maybe family is the source of your support. And try to take the verse above to heart and know that He is with you every step of the way. God bless you as you love your children and your home.

Kasey (I've followed you on Pinterest now and learned your first name!), I'm so thrilled you landed here today on the day I used your go to verse. I love 2 Cor. 12:9; it's my blanket when I need to feel safe and secure. I've linked my post up on yours today and I've updated this post so that others will find you from here.

I'd love to continue to link up and encourage young moms. I'm a mentor mom for our Mothers of Preschoolers group, a ministry that God led me to after retirement. I love being there for moms when they need me, and I love encouraging them in the faith. I'm happy to guest post, or just link up. Is your link up always on Tuesdays? Or other days as well? Hope to hear from you!

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Welcome!

Hi, I'm Sherrey Meyer, and I'm so glad you dropped by. I am a writer and a retired legal secretary. I have always loved writing, but for almost 40 years did most of my writing in the legal field. Now retired, I'm enjoying writing to share my faith and my hope in God. I hope we can share our stories with one another.

I also am writing a memoir and you can read more about that at my other blog, Letters to Mama, www.sherreyameyer.blogspot.com, or click on the link below.