Previous entries: P, M, K, C, J. Notice I have listed double the number of extracts under this letter. This is simply because these are some of the finest in the whole book by Bierce. A little bonus for you to chew and occasionally swallow and digest. Read on:

Recruit – noun A person distinguishable from a civilian by his uniform and a soldier from his gait.

Reform – noun A campaign transparency, which is laid aside as soon as it has served its purpose; a thing that mostly satisfies reformers as opposed to reformation.

Relations - noun, plural People that you call on, or that call on you, according to whether they are rich or poor.

Remarkable – adjective The manner in which that fool Jones gets on, when we, who are so much more talented, are left out in the cold.

Remote – adjective The day when merit will be in more demand than money.

Removable – adjective An official who hasn’t any influence at headquarters.

Today is the day of the letter C. ’nuff said. Or maybe, ’nuff seen. Whatever that means. We’ve read through P, M and K. Read on.

Cabbage – noun A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.

Calamity – noun A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two types: misfortune to ourselves and good fortune to others.

Capital – noun The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the table and the knife and fork for the anarchist.

Censor – noun An officer of certain governments, employed to suppress the works of genius.

Chemise – noun Don’t know what it means.

Church – noun A place where the parson worships God and women worship the parson.

Club – noun An association of men for purposes of drunkenness, gluttony, unholy hilarity, murder, sacrilege and the slandering of mothers, wives and sisters. For this definition I am indebted to several estimable ladies who have the best means of information, their husbands being members of several clubs.

Comet – noun An excuse for being out late at night and going home drunk in the morning.

Commerce – noun A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of the money belonging to E.

Confidant, confidante – noun One entrusted by A with the secrets of B,confided to him by C.

In all the years that I have been writing, I have seen many achievements including getting a novel finished up to the very last chapter and then starting a new one, writing a short quick drama for kids (the topic is of everybody’s age, and I was actually commissioned to write it,) and writing a number of well-received short stories and to top it all, being nominated for an internationally recognised award in english writing after a tense ten day camp and having discussions with prominent authors in Delhi, India. And all this led me to formulate five very important points that I believe any writer should incorporate. Perhaps some have already done it, perhaps some have not and perhaps there are some like me who preach them all but practice little. And as I explain to you those four points, I shall learn alongside you and adopt them. There will be change, gradually; you will see it. Continue…