40+10, scared and feeling short on courage!

I'm currently 40+10, and am due to be induced on Monday (40+12) I've pushed it back as far as I can but at this point feel it's for the best, especially as from what I understand it can take days.

The whole induction thing has got me in a bit of a tizz and I'm feeling really worried and apprehensive about the whole thing. Suddenly the whole process feels very out of my control, and the idea of going in for a pessary, then if it doesn't work being admitted for potentially days while they go through the other options (gel, waters, drip) without my partner, alone in hospital is really challenging me. I'm also scared because I work with my body for a job (I'm an acrobat) and a C section could mean the end of my career, and certainly would mean a huge big delay in being able to start training again, which after 42 weeks off I have been dying to do). Similarly from what I've read a womans birth really affects how she feels about her baby- I've had depression in the past and I'm worried that a horrible birth and CS would increase my chances of PP depression and affect my bond with baby?

My partner has no idea what to say when I tell him and I'm just feeling a bit isolated. Being 42 weeks is hard enough without anything else! I know hormones and being a bit fed up in general with being sore and nauseous and generally pregnant wont be helping but now I can't sleep for worrying, and I feel like I'm just spending each day waiting alone while my partner is at work, getting a bit more downhearted with every day that my LO doesn't come!

The only helpful thing I can tell you is that both my children were born on the day they were due to be induced. You still have time. I have also heard that induction isn't so bad if you're nearly ready to go. Good luck!