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It’s Super Bowl Sunday and I Don’t Care

If you live in the United States and have a pulse, you’ve undoubtedly been swept up in the excitement of the biggest sporting event of the year, the Super Bowl! The NFL’s championship game is the most anticipated and highly watched television extravaganza each year, with advertisers paying outrageous sums of money to get their products in front of our collective eyeballs. And despite the fact that 99.9999% of all other males are frothing at the mouth with excitement, I am part of the .0001% that couldn’t care less.

I used to get very excited about Super Bowl, especially when the New York Giants were playing. In past years, when the scrappy underdog Giants teams would pull a David and Goliath and upend the favored Buffalo Bills or New England Patriots, those were thrilling games, and I was hooked. It was especially gratifying watching the Giants ruin Tom Brady’s perfect season a few years ago!

Since then, the New York Giants have been underwhelming at best, literally shooting themselves in the foot and blowing off their fingers rather than win, and the New York (or really New Jersey) Jets are a joke, with more focus on their rotating roster of celebrity Quarterbacks and Coaches than anything on the field.

New Yorkers’ enemy #1, Tom Brady, hasn’t suffered in the least despite his previous loss to the Giants, bouncing back to steal… err… win last year’s Super Bowl, regardless of all the hoopla about Deflate-Gate. Even with all the proof that he tampered with footballs and cheated to win, the NFL’s resident pretty boy prom king had enough money and clout (and a good enough lawyer) to walk away unscathed, with no penalties sticking to him to make him pay for his underhandedness.

This year’s big storyline is that young lion (or Panther) Cam Newton will be trying to cement his status as an elite QB against veteran superstar QB Peyton Manning. It’s young vs. old, new generation vs. veteran champion, and blah blah blah, who gives a flying fig. The storyline is a classic one, and I’m sure the rest of the nation is overflowing with excitement about it, but it just doesn’t compel me to care.

Maybe it’s the fact that my hometown New York teams are not in the game. Maybe it’s my disgust for the NFL’s inability to punish players like Tom Brady for their flagrant wrongdoing. Maybe it’s because I’m busy with my family and all and don’t have time to really follow or get into it.

Maybe it’s that I just don’t want to.

While I enjoy hard hitting sports as much as the next guy (I’m a big UFC fan), with all the news about NFL players having higher levels of concussions and subsequent dementia and brain damage, I don’t know that it’s something I really care to follow. Don’t get me wrong, when I used to play “Madden NFL” back in the day, the most fun part was sacking the other team’s QB so hard that an ambulance would come out and drive over all the other players to get the injured guy and cart him out. In a video game, yes. In reality, umm, not so much.

There’s also the disturbing news that each year, the city hosting the Super Bowl is filled with all manner of whores to accommodate the “needs” of the vast audience. By many reports, a large percentage of those whores are sex slaves who are forced into town and prostituted against their wills. I don’t remember that part being included in the video game…

Add to this that the NFL has had another major scandal it’s been trying to sweep under the rug, which is its sponsoring of the online betting sites FanDuel and DraftKings. These sites were allegedly operating illegally and have been shut down by New York State. There’s a lot that’s been said about the addictive quality of these sites, and how they victimized players and caused them financial ruin, all while being funded and backed by the NFL itself.

Also, I find it tremendously annoying that the NFL holds on to the Super Bowl name so tightly that nobody can even reference the event by name, and have to speak of it in general terms, calling it only The Big Game. In fact, I’ll probably be sued by the NFL before this Blog is even posted for having the audacity to even speak the name “Super Bowl.” Is this a sport, a religion, or a cult?!?

Honestly, at this point, with the failure to punish players for cheating, the danger of head trauma to the players, the prostituting of sex slaves, the hooking of fans to make them gamblers, and the cultish ownership of the Super Bowl name, I’d rather watch the Puppy Bowl than the Super Bowl, and am not excited about the ads or the Half Time Show. I stopped caring about the ads when the Bud Bowls were discontinued, and if anything of consequence happens at Half Time, it’s all over the Internet the next day, anyway.

So in summary, I really just don’t give a darn anymore!

Unless you invite us over to watch the game and have pizza. Or a Big Sandwich. If either of those is involved, they nullify all my complaints. Let’s go watch The Big Game!!