Now that he's retired, psychotherapist Hal Brown of Middleboro finds that sharing his ideas is his own personal therapy.

Moving and moving on

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About this blog

By Hal Brown

Hal Brown of Middleboro earned his bachelor's and master's degrees in social work at Michigan State University and went on to be a mental health center director and psychotherapist. He has always had a passion for writing, and has been on the
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Hal Brown of Middleboro earned his bachelor's and master's degrees in social work at Michigan State University and went on to be a mental health center director and psychotherapist. He has always had a passion for writing, and has been on the internet since the days you had to learn HTML code to publish a website.

My house sold four days after it was listed. After the open house, five couples bid on it. I didn't accept the highest bid. I sold it to the couple who fell in love with it. They also love cranberry country. The house is on the bogs we used to own.

I am having an estate and moving sale company sell almost everything in my house, from the furniture to unopened bottles of shampoo. I will only move with the things I can pack into my car, which I am shipping.

I am still going through mixed emotions as I sort through dozens of items. I am realizing that many of my feelings have to do with moving on past my grief. I realized this morning that some of the decorative items from "our past" I wasn't even particularly attached to. We bought them because Betty wanted to, and she had great taste.

I don't even feel a particular desire to bring too many things that belonged to Betty. I know, and you would too, if you knew her well, that she'd be saying "just leave all my stuff behind." Even better, she tell me, if you could get a few dollars for it.

Interestingly, our tastes coincided on two paintings in particular.

One was a large one. It cost $1,200 in 1992, and now the artist is selling the same sized paintings for $4,500. A painting, half the size, was by the African-American artist Walter Cade, III. We paid around $200 for at the Ann Arbor Art Festival in the 1970's.It would now sell for near $5,000.

It's nice when a piece of art which you appreciate also appreciates in value.

I realized the other day that I didn't "need" to bring boxes of photos. Better to use that space in the car for the Dyson fan, a birthday present to myself last year.

All of my recent photos are on the computer anyway (backed up on a portable hard drive), and the years 2004 (when I got my first digital camera) to 2006 are on a personal website. I scanned my favorite paper photos from years ago and saved them on my computer too.

Not only am I discovering there isn't much I want to bring; but point of fact, there isn't much I really need to bring. I will take vital documents (yes, I was born in the United States, and can prove it with the original hospital birth record with my newborn footprint on it), my cell phone so people can easily reach me at the number I've had for years, and certainly the dogs. I am having a service handle the doggie flying. They pick up and deliver dogs door to door.

Before Betty died, she made me promise to stay alive myself, if only to take care of Mac and Duff.

Mac and Duff, our wonderful Westies she loved just a smidgen more than she loved me,will stay over at a friend's who has cared for them many times before. She even cared for them when Betty was dying, and I was sleeping in a cot next to her at Brigham and Women's. During those last five days, Betty would talk to her every day to find out how "the boys" were doing.

Then they will fly to Portland (the one in Oregon) the day after I arrive.

Of course, I want to bring the two expensive paintings, my Apple laptop, and Nikon SLR camera. Since I'll be living on a budget at a Continuing Care Retirement Community (see previous blog), I'd never spend what it would cost to replace these things again.

I'll just pack the car like, trunk and back seat, like two big boxes, and see what fits.

I'll try not to get caught up in sentimentality when I have to choose between a bundle of clothing in a space bag, and a box of decorative items Betty and I bought together. In fact, lots of the art fair pottery fit in our house in Michigan, but never saw daylight since we moved here in 1992. It wouldn't "go" in the new house either.

I figure decorating a new house, while downsizing from a sunny bright 2,300 square foot house, with 19 big south facing windows looking out on cranberry bogs, to a much less brightly lit duplex with 1,200 square feet, will be a fun activity.

I will bring along so many fond memories of my 40 years with Betty that I don't feel a need to bring "things" to remind me of her. As someone once told me, "when you loose someone you love, your memories are a treasure."

Addendum:

Now I am reconsidering driving, rather than flying to Oregon... in part to save about $4,000; but also to eliminate the hassles of shipping the car and the dogs. The dogs and I, and our essential items, would journey across the country together. "3,000 miles with Mac and Duff" could be another blog.