​Have you been told to 'do kegals'? Have you heard kegals are old hat and squats are in? We are getting to the bottom of this issue this month! And whilst we are in the area, we are exploring our perineums: should we be hands on? or hands offs? How do we avoid a tear? And it is not just our 'downstairs' we are obsessing about, we are also looking into the toilet habits and optionsof babies and children.Language Matters!This month I am also exploring the importance of language. Being understood, and understanding others, is not always straightforward. We may be speaking the same Language, but not in the same way. Semantics are important, when you are seeking to understand something in order to make an informed decision, you need to be sure of the details. For example: are we 'designed' to give birth?

Sometimes you'll hear a midwife say a 'whiff of synto' can move things along, perhaps in an attempt to avoid a caesarean. But this language is misleading. If this kind of language is being used, it can make you feel belittled, your concerns are brushed over, and this is not respectful. The speaker may feel they are being reassuring, or indeed they may be disregarding you completely in favour of managing the entire ward. Being able to determine this difference is critical. If you are giving birth in a hospital, it is important to take time during pregnancy to understand the various interventions and when they are actually necessary. These will be placed on your Map, and you will have decided in ADVANCE (for example) the conditions that necessitate 'a whiff of synto'. If this scenario presents itself during birth, you will see it coming. Your Map gives you 'land marks' and you'll know when you have a potential 'detour' coming up. If an intervention is being offered before you see those landmarks, you will confidently be able to refuse. If you see the landmarks, you can gratefully accept.

I am very excited at the continued support for The Birth Map. It is wonderful hearing the responses from midwives: "The Best Birth Plan" and "brilliant". I feel it is a semantic matter, as much as the fact that Informed Birth Preparation is powerful - a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. The word MAP, paints a picture of flexibility, and of preparedness.

The second edition of The Birth Map: Boldly going where no birth plan has gone before will be released in September. I will be launching it when I present at the Doula Network Conference (September 8th). Pre-order now, at the special price of $25.95. Please spread the word.

I love the rhythm in this story. If you are introducing your little one to self-toileting, this story is great fun (I do the voices!).I also like this story because it highlights the importance of communication. Are you asking the right question? It also shows us, that when we need information urgently, it is very hard to ask the right questions or recognise when we are not being understood. Something might be plainly obvious to others, but when we are stressed and anxious we can't see it for ourselves.

The last article is a proper self care post. In June I (diplomatically) commented on this 'self care' post that I thought was condescending and quite frankly mansplaining. The article was focused on self care as pampering and retail therapy type behaviours, it was unhelpful and ignorant of reality. If you are interested in self care, in a real and deep way, Hollie B from the Institute of Self Crafting can take you there. Self care is such a buzz word right now, it has been corrupted and confused, disempowered and appropriated by people who seem afraid to look deep into themselves. We are being sold the idea that a piece of chocolate, a new shiny thing and a bath are self care. But self care, is about self acknowledgement. It is about identity and expression, being heard and respected. Self care is about being confident enough to demand it. To value yourself, because you are awesome, and to stop apologising for taking up space.

In Light of this, I want to share with you an online group program being offered by Lead Mama Lead called Overcoming Overwhelm. I have worked with Summer Edwards, who has helped me to find my direction with bellabirth. I first met and connected with Summer through the Australian Bbreastfeeding Association and we have a very similar way of thinking I have signed up as an affiliate for this program, because I felt this was an important opportunity. Summer has quite a lot on offer, including a November retreat in Byron Bay. You can listen to her talking about Lead Mama Lead and the course on this podcast.

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Catherine is a member of the Doula Network Australia

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