Dr. Elaine Heffner: Childcare challenges

Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now

Tuesday

Apr 25, 2017 at 11:04 AMApr 25, 2017 at 11:04 AM

The problem of childcare has been getting renewed attention lately. Most parents have long been aware that finding good, affordable childcare presents a major challenge for those working outside the home. Both the cost and quality of available childcare are major obstacles difficult to overcome.

Discussion has long centered on the desirability of universal government sponsored childcare either in the form of actual childcare centers, or financial support to parents to cover the cost of privately arranged childcare. The United States has the lowest level of spending on childcare among industrialized countries, as well as policies providing support to working parents in other ways, such as paid maternity/paternity leaves.

Paying for such care would be expensive for society as it is for parents themselves. To justify such expenditure, arguments are presented in financial terms, with studies demonstrating that calculating the cost to society of unemployment, crime and poor health resulting from inadequate early care, justifies the government investment in good childcare.

The objection to publicly supported childcare is based on factors other than finances. Economics are at times used to cloud underlying cultural/social attitudes and biases. At root is the belief that mothers should stay at home to care for their children. The controversy over federally funded day care is very much tied to resistance to the changed role of women and older family structure in which men were the breadwinners and women the homemakers.

Nothing has been more of a handicap to women in their struggle for both economic and social equality than the problem of finding good, or even adequate care for their children. Many women have been forced out of the workplace because the cost of care equals or surpasses what they are earning. Others must resort to makeshift or less desirable kinds of care.

Two words that invariably go together in discussions about childcare are cost and quality -- quality often a main determinant of cost. Yet, the question of what constitutes high quality is subject to its own debate. Recently, speaking with a nurse in a high level, hospital job, I learned that she had two children ages 5 and 13 months and both children had been in daycare since infancy.

She related that her baby girl is thriving in daycare but that it had not been as positive for her 5-year-old son. Speculating about the reasons, she thought it was due to caregivers who were not as warm and accepting as those caring for her daughter. Knowing about my blog, goodenoughmothering.com, she said she worries about being good enough herself.

This raises the question of the dilemma mothers face in determining whether other caregivers -- or they themselves -- are good enough. Part of the problem is not being sure what is good enough, but the other part is wanting to be better than good enough -- whatever that might be. What standard should we set for caregivers -- to do what we would do as parents or to be even better than we think we might be?

Both personality and values play a major role in the way we raise our children -- even when we may think we are following the latest research on child-rearing. In trying to define quality care as given by others, basic attributes such as responsibility, dependability, and necessary physical care are easier to assess. More difficult is the question of attitudes and feelings conveyed to our children in daily interactions.

To know which attributes we deem most significant in raising our children, we may first need to know and understand them about ourselves before we can look for them in others.

-- Elaine Heffner, LCSW, Ed.D., has written for Parents Magazine, Fox.com, Redbook, Disney online and PBS Parents, as well as other publications. She has appeared on PBS, ABC, Fox TV and other networks. And, she blogs at goodenoughmothering.com.

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