Since January 12th I’ve been on the road, traveling, visiting family, and living in ways that are outside my comfort zone. In brief, I’m taking three weeks to travel across the US and back and this post is about the three lessons I’ve learned thus far living outside my comfort zone.

As a bit of a catch up since I last posted, I’m currently living in San Jose, California and the southern end of the San Francisco Bay Area. I moved there from the coast in May 2015 to take care of my aging parents who are both in their mid-eighties and in failing health.

After eight months of full-time assisted living duty and part-time writing and consulting, I figured it was time for a bit of a break. I embarked on my journey two weeks ago and I started writing this post in Enid, Oklahoma where my son-in-law is stationed at Vance Air Force Base at the Flight Training Wing. There were turboprop planes and jets taking off and landing most of the time. It was pretty awesome. He’s training as a USAF pilot and it was very cool being so close to the aircraft.

The week prior to Oklahoma I was in South Carolina visiting one of my three sons and his family. We built a playground for his young children braving the light snow flurries in the process. Now I’m in Denver, Colorado visiting friends.

As the journey has progressed, I’ve become aware of three lessons about living outside of my comfort zone.

With only one bag, I hit the road.

Lesson 1 – I Can’t Meditate Anywhere

I decided to take the train for a change of pace. As a consultant, I fly a lot for business and for this three-week journey, the train seemed like a needed change of pace.

I booked a sleeper car, or a roomette as they’re called on Amtrak, for the five days and three trains that it would take to get from SF to Chicago to Charlottesville. VA and finally off at Clemson, SC.

But ‘sleeping car’ is a misnomer and they should be called ‘anything but’ sleeping cars. Sleep wasn’t possible for me and over the five days I was on the train, I had difficulty maintaining my meditation practice.

It improved at my son’s house but was impeded at my daughter’s home, largely because they were in temporary lodging facilities and we were pretty cramped.

I thought that I’d be able to meditate anywhere, but I was wrong. Instead of forcing it, I gently acknowledged the difficulty in the situation and moved on knowing that the next day might be better.

I’ve noticed for some time now that other Buddhist bloggers have expressed frustration and disappointment when their practice is disrupted. To me, this is falling victim to the snares of self-induced suffering. The Buddha taught his followers to remain unattached to preconceived outcomes, knowing that this very attachment was what invited suffering.

However, even in difficult situations like what I described over the past weeks when my practices have been altered, I’ve found that I suffer much less when I gently acknowledge the difficulty and move on – just as I do when thoughts arise during meditation.

Life is far too short and precious to invite needless suffering.

Lesson 2 – Service to Others Can Fill the Void

One of 17 goals for 2016 is to help someone every day. I learned that while my meditation practice was altered, remaining open to serving others eased the disappointment. Each day that I am open to serving others I am presented with multiple opportunities to help, to comfort those who are in pain, to hug someone grieving the loss of a loved one, to touch another in kindness, to carry groceries for a woman with four kids, to waltz with crying babies, etc.

Each of these opportunities to serve others arose over the last three weeks. I am grateful beyond words for them.

They allowed me to exercise compassionate-kindness, one of three simple practices that characterize Practical Buddhism. They form the triad of my lifestyle and when one is lacking, I find that I attract opportunities to practice the other two.

Lesson 3 – My Tattoos Opened Opportunities for Conversation

My right arm is a work of art in progress. I refer to it as ‘the dharma sleeve project.’ It’s kind of funny, I’m now 58 and I didn’t have any ink until I was 55. In the three years since my first one, I’ve added four additional tattoos, three of them as part of ‘the dharma sleeve project.’

Here are a few photos of it thus far. You can click on each photo to see a larger image.

While on the train, especially in the dining car where I took my meals, my tattoos invoked a common reaction in all but a few passengers. Most of the passengers were couples in their 50s, 60s, and 70s. Most didn’t have any visible ink. Since I wear nothing but short sleeve black merino wool t-shirts, my ink is always visible.

In each encounter, I noted an initial staring at the ink followed by visual eye contact with me. Knowing how I used to do the same thing, I safely assumed they were ‘sizing me up’ or judging me in the context of my ink. It doesn’t bother me at all, in fact, I enjoy watching the reactions.

On the train, you usually don’t pick your dining partners. All seating is at the discretion of the dining car attendant. That means I was usually seated with the same people who reacted to my ink from afar. But people are people and all of the folks with whom I shared a meal left the encounter knowing I was a genuine, caring, and compassionate person.

The tattoos were always the initiator of conversation. I shared what each meant to me, which led to me sharing about my profession as a writer and author in the process that led to other conversations and soon the ink was forgotten. In a matter of a few minutes I was no longer a stranger with tattoos, but a new friend with an interesting story.

The Value of Living Outside Your Comfort Zone

Forcing ourselves to live outside our comfort zone can teach us many lessons. When we live outside the environment that provides us with comfort and predictability we are forced to take life as we experience it. We don’t always have a warning about people we meet or the events that will occur.

Our comfort zones insulate us from the real world. It’s good to get out beyond our insular borders and see what life throws at us. The uncomfortable nature of living outside our comfort zone can be made less so by remaining flexible, unattached to anticipated outcomes, and extending kindness to all we meet.

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion. – Albert Camus

Spiritual Rebels: They embody an innate sense of spiritual and societal unrest and are hell-bent on finding their way in the world. They aren’t sheep that will blindly follow the latest philosophy; they aren’t duped into believing anything.

Their cause, though they wouldn’t most likely label it as such, is nothing short of overt rebellion. However, as we will see in this post, spiritual rebels are non-violent, peace-loving introspective folks individuals look within for answers rather than confront others over the validity oppositional beliefs.

Are You a Spiritual Rebel?

Do you long to seek your own truth despite the influences of Big Religion or societal norms? Are you dedicated to finding the truth about how to live your life according to your own internal moral code?

I’ve given some thought to what I feel are the defining characteristics of spiritual rebels. They certainly define me. See if they come close to defining you as well.

The 8 Defining Characteristics of a Spiritual Rebel

Independently minded – You can’t tell a spiritual rebel what to believe, what to think, or what to do. They have to work it out for themselves. They may ultimately come around to your point of view, but unless they experience it as truth, you’ll not get instant agreement from a spiritual rebel. Spiritual rebels are more likely to take their time in charting their life course. They may experience what feels like an extended adolescence comprising years of exploration that guides them to ultimately decide on a life focus.

Resolute in purpose – The spiritual rebel is like a dog with a bone; Once she has a sense of mission, she can’t be redirected. She’ll either succeed with extraordinary results or die in the process of working toward making it a reality. There are no barriers perceived as insurmountable for the spiritual rebel with a goal. They will push forward without relenting. If one way is blocked, they don’t give up; instead, they find another way to achieve their aims. They live out the quote: ‘We will either find a way, or make one.’ – Hannibal, 247 – 182 BC

Distrusts authority – Spiritual rebels don’t automatically trust or take direction from those in positions of authority; leaders have to prove themselves worthy of obedience. Obedience is a never really on the table for a spiritual rebel. Consensus is probably a more accurate term to describe the relationship a spiritual rebel has with authority; they will never fully place their trust in a person of leadership or authority; to do so would relinquish their sense of duty and commitment to themselves. They may express heartfelt respect for persons in authority if they are working toward equitable purposes.

Rejects status quo – Rebels are forward thinking and not content to do things one way because that’s the way it’s always been done. It seems ludicrous to a spiritual rebel to conform to anything, especially religious dogma or gestures (such a gassho or genuflection), political ideologies, and societal norms. The spiritual rebel probably identifies somewhat with the punk movement of the late 70’s and 80’s that embodied a wholesale rejection of the status quo. Spiritual rebels work to evaluate the accepted practices then go about dismantling it in favor of a more equitable and egalitarian approach.

Focusses on essentials – Spiritual rebels make good minimalists. They eschew ritual, ceremony, and needless structure. They favor the asceticism of less over the opulence of more. They crave the discovery of simple truth and reject the acceptance of complex belief systems. They reject mass consumerism and aren’t found in the throngs of people pushing and shoving their way through crowded malls and shopping centers, and are instead more likely to support local small businesses and organizations. They curate their possessions which are probably fewer than their non-rebel contemporaries. They view duplicity as superfluous.

Looks within first – Because they distrust authority, spiritual rebels look within their minds and hearts to uncover their accepted truth. They only look to others to validate their own discoveries. They are meditators and often engage in the practice of contemplation on issues that matter to them. They are reserved in judgment and understand that they are the creators of their world. They guard their thoughts knowing they are the building blocks of their reality.

Cultivates awareness – The spiritual rebel doesn’t look to transcendence; instead, they work on becoming increasingly aware of the present moment. They develop a mindfulness practice to stay in the present instead of getting bogged down in the past or a distant, hypothetical future. They understand that working on issues in the present is where life is to be engaged and growth occurs. It’s the present moment that matters to them and they often pause to document it in mind and heart.

Embraces nonviolence – The spiritual rebel embraces peace and harmony and isn’t interested in brute force. They seek out peaceful speech and choose peaceful actions over caustic outbursts and behavior. Though they are resolute and self-directed, they will engage in consensus building and partnership when sufficient goodwill and trust is part of the process. Though they may be crude in speech on occasion, they don’t use langue to impugn others. Their way of being in the world is often associated with grace, humility, and dignity.

Did You See Yourself?

These characteristics define my own path of spiritual rebellion and I’m relatively confident in thinking that these same traits are either pretty close to defining your identity as a spiritual rebel or they contain a reference to elements of your path on which you’re currently working.