I can’t decide about them. Yes they are all inclusive and doing it in teams means they are involved in something bigger than just themselves. Yet some one will always come last, 2nd from last. Others will fall over or forget what they’re doing. Some are happy to run the three-legged race and giggle all the way and come last. Others don’t cope emotionally.

My son is one who find competition really hard. Last year he did a complicated “potato race” which involved running & collecting a ball running back to the start and then running getting the next one & then finally running to the finish line. He was doing really well with the collecting (heading for a 1st place) but didn’t know or forgot to run to the finish line and so came last. He was upset, devastated in fact. He refused to go and sit back with his friends and stayed on my knee until the sports day was over. Even the cheering of the other parents just for him didn’t cheer him up. Losing is hard, especially with so many people watching you.

This year, I was thankful there was no running. Javelin (foam don’t panic!) and bean bag throwing. He was good at both but had a particularly good bean bag throw, he thought he was in with a chance. He came 5th out of 20 kids (did really well). He’d “held it together” for the whole event, behaved well and taken part in a positive way.

However, as he came out of school he burst into tears as he ran to me, as he’d only got 5th place and he’d really wanted to go on the podium. No matter how I said it was an excellent result and in the top 20% of throws, he wouldn’t have it.

Some children can enjoy the fun of the day, others you can see the strain of “keeping going” taking a toll on their emotions.

Bless him he held it together for so long, and as so often happens when they are in their safe place they relax and share their real emotions.

I can’t decide whether I like school sports day or swimming galas. We don’t put pressure on him, but emotionally he can really struggle.

Welcome to my second part of the top 10 tips to create family calm. If you missed the first five then please check it out here

This is my personal top 10 tips to creating family calm and balance. Many tools are simple are free to access, some do require investment of both time and money, but in my opinion and those of my happy clients are well worth the investment of both. In no particular order here are my favourite ways to bring balance and calm into my family life.

Here’s my 6-10

Presence not presents

Energy healing

Crystal therapy

Bach Flower Essence Remedies

Goulding SleepTalk Process

Affirmations – Louise Hay has written and shared extensively about the benefits of affirmations on a person’s mindset – changing negative thoughts and beliefs into positive mindset and belief systems. This is great for children and adults alike and can easily be used at the start of the day and throughout the day to support a child. For example “I am calm and relaxed”, “I am awesome”, “I am a winner”, “everything I do is good” to “Today I will remember my lessons like and elephant”, “Today I am calm like a flower” to a simple statement like “Today is a happy day”. Affirmations are so powerful for creating a positive state – starting from something like “I am OK” to “I am happy” to “I am awesome”, they can build up to form a more positive mindset over time. I have more information to share on the benefits of affirmations and how they work coming soon

Visualisation and meditation tools for the whole family – Scientific studies show that meditation and visualisation reduce the stress response (cortisol release) and increase the relaxation response in the body as well as helping children to manage their own emotions and relaxing their physical bodies and minds. A visualisation is simply a story told in a relaxed state (lying down flat with a comfy blanket), where the child uses their mind to visualise the story and details being told to them, so they develop the creative world in their minds and relax their body and mind at the same time. One of my favourite relaxation tools is to lie on the bed and visualise being butter melting into hot toast, relaxing the whole body – kids love it! For an example of a visualisation check back here for a recorded MP3

Essential Oils – Nature has been very kind to mankind and created many natural tools for us to use to heal, calm and re-energise. Essential oils such as lavender or tea tree are found in many bath and hair products and are well known from their relaxing and in the case of teatree cleansing properties (even keep nits away!). The use of good quality essential oils is key when using them with the family and I use certified pure therapeutic grade Doterra oils (CPTG). They are all produced following strict protocol and their purity is beyond any I’ve come across before. Oils I use are lavender (also comes in a rollerball for carrying around!), a blend called “In-tune” which I use on my son before school for focus and concentration. I also love the women’s blend (great for balancing during PMT and during female cycle, I use it in a pendant) plus the serenity blend and wild orange which I diffuse at bedtime upstairs to help calm the children (and me) during bedtime. I’ll share more essential oil tips in a later blog

Massage – self massage & story massage – Massage is such a positive form of touch for adults and children alike. For adults we associate with relaxation, release of tension and relief from painful muscle tension. It releases the hormone oxytocin which is the feel good or love hormone and increases the delta waves felt in deep sleep. For children it can be great fun when combined with a story or nursery rhyme. Why not create a massage story for your child as they get ready for bed – I’ll share a story massage with you in a later blog – check back here

The Balance Procedure – This is a brilliant tool for bringing you as a parent into calm and balance and also by using it you impact those around you. It’s a set of 9 cards which have been created to link many different holistic elements (affirmations, crystals, physical body, astrology, colours, numerology and more).They work energetically with your body to bring you into balance with what you want in life – for example “I am creative”, “I am a positive communicator”, “Today I will express myself calmly and clearly” their ability is endless – my kids even use them to find lost toys – they always find them within a minute of balancing with the cards J. The cards are used as a daily tool to balance you body and mind and align you to the affirmation you want for the day or moment. It takes just 30 minute for a consultation and then you are able to use them by yourself with no further “therapy visits” and hourly rates. It is a simple but very effective tool, one I use at least once a day. For more details check this out

I hope you find these tools useful – There will be more information in the form of weekly blogs, so please sign up to my email listing and follow me on Facebook @ www.facebook.com/createfamilycalm/

If you have any specific questions or issues then please do contact me directly

This is my personal top 10 tips to creating family calm and balance. Many tools are simple are free to access, some do require investment of both time and money, but in my opinion and those of my happy clients are well worth the investment of both. In no particular order here are my favourite ways to bring balance and calm into my family life.

This is Part one (1-5) and 6-10 will follow next week so please follow my facebook page or sign up for my newsletter

Five of my top 10 tools to create family calm

1- Presence not presents

Children need their parents or carers to be there for them – really there for them in body, mind & spirit. To engage with them and listen and share ideas. Being on facebook or other social media or gaming whilst sitting with your children is not being present. Although your physical body may be in their proximity, you are not engaging in them or their lives, their stories or making memories with them. It’s also then difficult to deny them electronic games when you spend time with your head buried in your phone ;-).

We sometimes make up for this lack of presence by buying presents – who doesn’t live in a sea of plastic toys or craft materials?! I know I over indulge my children and their desires. Presence – fully engaged presence – is key to creating positive relations and family calm. More ideas on how to engage and be present to come

2 – Energy Healing

Energy healing whether it is from a Reiki practitioner or other energy modality is truly a fabulous way to release pent up stuff that you are ready to release and clear the energy of yourself, your house and family too. There are so many types of energy work out there from EFT to reiki to crystals to Labrys, so have a search through a holistic therapy website and see if there’s anything specific to your needs or that calls to you. Energy work is so powerful at releasing the old and blocks to your calmness as a parent but also for your children. Many energy therapies can actually be done remotely so it can be sent to your child without them having to visit the therapist, Reiki and Labrys are fabulous for this.

Energy healing is worth looking at as a parent if you get stressed, angry or lose your calm; it releases you from blocks to your own calm (often can be passed down through the generations). It can get you into a space where you can be and stay calm and balanced for longer. You can also use energy techniques to cleanse your house of old negative energies (from arguments, to previous tenants) – more information on this coming in a separate blog

3 – Crystal Therapy

Crystals have been around for centuries and many of our children are very in tune to their energies. Many children will instinctively pick crystals that they are naturally attracted to and when you look up their meaning in a crystal book you find they are exactly perfect for their needs. I’ve often been surprised by my children’s choices and then when looked them up found they were good for insomnia or emotional support (whatever my child needed at that moment).

A simple trip to a crystals shop and allowing them to choose a cheap tumblestone can be an enlightening experience as a parent, as they instinctively know what they need even if they can’t express the issue or emotion they are feeling. Crystals can also work well in the home as crystal grids in the home or room itself or outside the building. Placing crystals on or around the body of yourself or a child can be a fun experience and bring crystal healing to all concerned. Allowing your child to choose and place crystals on your body can also be an interesting experience – trust and allow them! Another blog will cover this amazing topic of crystals in more detail and will be coming soon.

4 – Bach Flower Essence Remedies

I must admit I love Bach flower essences and his research. Dr Bach discovered through research 38 flower essences which match an array of negative emotions that can affect our health and wellbeing. The most famous is undoubtedy the “Rescue Remedy” – a blend of 4 flower essences to calm after shock and bring a sense of nurture and a virtual hug to the user.

Flower essences are useable by everyone, although there is a small amount of alcohol they are generally safe for children and adults to take. A consultation with a flower essence consultant (such as myself) can highlight which single or blend of flower essences is correct for a client’s current overwhelming emotional state. The essences are simply blended and added as drops to water and sipped throughout the day. In my experience they create a gentle shift in the person’s emotional state, perhaps reducing overwhelm or impatience (which I use!) or controlling behaviour – just a gentle space for calm is created. I also use flower essences in my children’s water bottles for school, using whatever is on their mind at the moment that can be supported by the flower essences. Often it is the rescue remedy. More information on flower essences will be shared shortly

5 – Goulding SleepTalk Process

A self-esteem program for children – SleepTalk is a two minute tool that you use as your child sleeps to bring calm and positive mindset to your child. Resolving all those childhood emotional, behavioural aspects that get in the way of happiness and calm. Bedwetting, tantrums, anger issues, emotional issues, separation anxiety, food or toilet issues, school or nursery behaviour/anxiety, autism, mutism, nightmares and so much more!

Simply by following the script as your child sleeps at night can support their creation of a positive mindset and one of unconditional love and may resolve all these issues. The benefits to your family and child themselves are huge, as one negative issue is calmed or resolved, the whole family no longer runs on “high alert” allowing you all to maintain calm and create those happy positive childhood memories. For more information click to this blog – http://createfamilycalm.co.uk/2016/06/19/need-to-resolve-childrens-anxiety-anger-or-behavioural-issues/

I hope you find these tools useful – There will be more information in the form of weekly blogs, so please sign up to my email listing and follow me on Facebook @ www.facebook.com/createfamilycalm/

If you have any specific questions or issues then please do contact me directly.

Romella is an award winning Holistic and Energy Practitioner based in Newport Shropshire & Ironbridge and available through Skype. I work with you, the wholeyou, to create packages to empower you to be the person you want to be. I include energy healing & clearing, relaxation techniques, life purpose support & teach self-help tools for you, your children and your family. To bring about a space of calm and positive change for all.

Sibling Rivalry & Arguments

I’m sure my story isn’t unusual if you have school aged children – or indeed more than one child & the joy of sibling rivalry! The first week of the schools holiday goes fairly well, lots of playdates and things to do and then slowly the children spend more time together and the arguments start….

Linked in to the arguments is then the sibling rivalry, an issue any parent of multiple children will be only too aware!!! The issue of sibling rivalry was present in my family for a long time after the birth of my daughter. So much so that I found a technique that really worked to support. It was hard trying to explain to a 3 year old that love was infinite and there was more than enough Mummy love to go around the whole family and as the family grew so did the love available. Infinite is a difficult concept for a 3 year old!

I was lucky to be recommended to a SleepTalk consultant who I worked with on the self-esteem program for children created by Joane Goulding. The difference it made to my family was immense and in 2014 I trained in it and am now an Accredited Sleeptalk Consultant

What is SleepTalk?

Sleeptalk is a proven 30 year old program, with amazing results for children with a huge range of emotional, behavioural and anxiety issues.

It takes just two minutes a night and is carried out as your child sleeps, what a simple gift! The time it takes for the kettle to boil can improve your child’s emotional resilence and end tantrums, toilet, food, bedwetting, anger outbursts and sibling rivalry.

I don’t know why I stopped doing it but, I can guarantee I’m back on it now! The results often happen quickly and last a life time. The foundation statement is a lovely thing to say as your child sleeps (yes this isn’t a process to get your child to sleep!). It changes the whole family, all is calmer and well just nicer! Kids get on, so less shouting by anyone and a happier holiday full of making memories happens!

Who am I?

Romella is an award winning Holistic and Energy Practitioner based in Newport Shropshire & Ironbridge and available through Skype. I work with you, the whole you, to create packages to empower you to be the person you want to be. I include energy healing & clearing, relaxation techniques, life purpose support & teach self-help tools for you, your children and your family. To bring about a space of calm and positive change for all.