Archive for December 2011

To me, at least, this is definitely the story of the year. And, it delivers the MESSAGE of the year: eliminate hate-filled language. Not just in schools, for they’re only repeating what they’ve learned from adults. Indeed, hate speech needs to be dealt with swiftly and harshly, no matter if it’s Michele Bachmann or Mr. Johnson from down the street.

This story isn’t new. It went viral August 16th. See, “Amelia” has a 6-year-old son who just happened to tell her that he likes kissing boys! In an innocence that only a 6-year-old can provide, he told his mother that it’s quite possible that he’s gay. Thinking it was cute coming from her 6-year-old son, which it was, she wanted to share that with a couple of online friends. Overnight, it went viral. Why would something so cute and innocent, and personal, go viral overnight? There are two very basic reasons why.

People connected with it easily because we could all relate. Well, most of us. (those who said they couldn’t lie to themselves) See, everyone one of us, if we’re honest with ourselves, knew when we were in that age group which gender made us happy on the inside. And, it’s the ones who make us happy on the inside that we are attracted to, whether it’s in childhood or adulthood. I knew when I was 7. And, every single gay friend I’ve ever had has said the same thing. Conversely, every single straight friend I’ve ever had knew that the opposite sex pushed their internal buttons. It’s only natural! See, we’re not talking sex here. We’re talking attraction. We’re talking about who makes us feel happy inside. Isn’t that what love’s really about?

“Amelia” not only accepted her son’s words at face value (knowing full well that, at age 6, those words were definitely not set in stone), she embraced him. She encouraged him. Guess what happens when he “comes out” at such an early age AND the most important person in your world embraces and encourages you? Your self-esteem has no choice but to soar. Which brings me to the obvious second reason people connected so quickly to this story.

People with Michele Bachmannitis were APPALLED that she would encourage such deviant behavior! “He is much too young to know about sex”, they argued. Huh? I think I missed that part of the story. See, the Michele Bachmanns of the world would have the exact opposite effect on this boy: his self-esteem would be ruined. He’d be chastised for his “unnatural” feelings and, probably, sent off to be “cured”. That’s what “they” do. And, in just a few years, we’d run the risk of having another suicide victim on our hands.

“Amelia” sat up and took notice. And, from her observations, for every Michele Bachmann who commented, there were “multiple messages” saying that they, too, knew when they were very young which gender tickled their fancy. We all do! Of course, at age 6, we don’t put a label on it. We don’t learn that everyone has to fit into a category until later on in life. But, I knew in 1st grade that Keith made my heart flutter while Debora was just pretty to look at.

The other thing that “Amelia” noticed was how extremely dangerous the hate speech was to not only her 6-year-old son, but to ALL young people! And, indeed it is. As I’ve been saying, it’s damaging on both ends: your bullies learned to hate from somewhere. Enough said. Likewise, however, far-too-many of these young suicide victims “learn” from their Michele Bachmannesque parents that they are “abnormal”, “freaks”, “deviant”, “sick” and worse. They learn that they are defective, that they need to be “fixed”. I don’t feel I need to say anything about what this does to their young self-esteem. Let’s just say that we read about them far too frequently and once it’s far too late.

My favorite part of the story, though, is where “Amelia” reached the point where she said “Enough Is Enough!!!” She made a stand. She vowed to protect her children from the Michele Bachmanns of the world because THEY spread hate as if they have a license to do so.

Ever ask yourself why is it so important to these hate mongers that everyone HAS to think as they do, act in accordance to what THEY think is right

I finally found it! Call me slow, I guess. Earlier in the month, facebook advertised that they were joining the fight against suicides by launching a new page that would be linked with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Until tonight, however, all I could ever find were ARTICLES telling about it. Determined, I tracked it down, finally.

This is a link EVERYONE needs to have handy in case of emergency. Copy and paste it somewhere. Then, write the phone number down somewhere where it’s easily accessible.

I’m very happy to report that Joshua is doing much better, thanks to the overwhelming support he’s gotten from around the world! He even started therapy. So, kudos to all of you who read about him here and reached out to him. And, for those of you who didn’t, you still can send him a friend request. He’s accepting all.

When you check out the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and read down the page, you’ll see several opportunities for you to reach out, send messages, and embrace these emotionally wounded people as they struggle through a very tough period of their lives. A couple who jumped off the age at me were GaryLucas Love Wang, and Chloe Strand. They’re both contemplating at this very moment. Just as we all reached out and pulled Joshua back from the edge, these two people now need that same support. With help comes hope.

I was talking to a friend last night. In fact, she is a very dear friend whom I met since embarking on this life’s journey of trying to save lives. She’s right there on the frontline with me…and, many others. Last night’s conversation was sparked by a young man who was posting suicidal comments to his facebook page. He’s fine. At least for now. As she was about to sign off, she told me about another person who was now posting suicidal comments. This one seemed urgent.

Joshua hasn’t been a teenager since 1999. Then again, we’re not JUST about trying to save teen’s lives. Any suicide we can help prevent is a job well done. I don’t know the circumstances that has led Joshua to feel so hopeless right now. And, frankly, it just doesn’t even matter. What matters right now is building a wall of support around him to keep him from falling to that place where he won’t be able to get up. The wall was erected very quickly.

According to his facebook comments, Joshua was hanging on by the thinnest of threads. Whatever is going on with him has really hit him hard. The good news is he’s still here. He went to work today. He’s now home from work and communicating on his facebook page.

See, I don’t believe for a second that Joshua wants to die. I don’t think that any suicide victims REALLY want to die. They want the pain to stop. They want to feel whole again. I believe that’s the case with Joshua, as well. The great think here is that he is freely accepting friend requests on his facebook page right now! That says to me that he WANTS someone to hold him up until he regains his strength. And, that’s where we all come in. That’s what our mission is, right? Saving lives…one at a time? You can go, right now!, to Joshua’s facebook page, send him a friend request, he’ll accept it. I guarantee it. Right now, he’s hanging on by a thin thread. What’s most important, however, is that he’s hanging on.

Tennessee awarded the family of a special needs student who had been severely bullied over $300,000. And, even though Maryland dropped the ball when they had a chance to send a clear “ZERO TOLERANCE” message when they released the school administrators of responsibility in a similar suit, other states are making great progress in toughening their anti-bullying laws. That’s great news going forward.

The recent suicide of Jacob Rogers, also in Tennessee, has sparked town hall meetings to push their lawmakers to toughen their laws. Also, over 1,700 people have signed an online petition to force their local government to toughen its laws. That’s taking action!!!! Hopefully, every time we see one of these petitions, everyone will sign it. You don’t have to live in Cheatham County. You only have to have a burning desire to see things change. That said, here’s the link again.

In Iowa, a group called the Eychaner Foundation has launched an anti-bullying website for the state of Iowa. All incidences of bullying can be reported here, with the information sent to school administrators. Anyone can report an incident as it’s occurring. That’s a great tool. At the very least, it’s a huge step in the right direction. Now, we need to see a similar website for every state.

One thing we know for certain: If nothing changes, nothing changes. I think we’re beginning to see changes. It’s a welcomed sight.

Tomorrow at 1:00pm, the family and friends of Colton Wilson will say goodbye to the boy they only had the pleasure of knowing for a short 13 years but will love forever. Tomorrow, at 1:00pm, say a prayer, sing a song, light a candle. Anything. Just do something to say goodbye to the young man most of us never knew but will always remember as yet another life that ended far too soon.

For those of you who would like to leave online condolences for the family, there is a facebook page set up in his memory. I’m sure that they would love to hear from you all.

I read recently that suicides for 2011 were at a 40 year low. I find that hard to believe but am ecstatic if it’s true. And, yet, to the family and friends of young Colton and the myriad other suicide victims of 2011, that number is completely meaningless. The goal, my prayer, is to get the number of teen suicides down to zero in 2012. Perhaps that’s unrealistic, but if we keep that as our goal and work feverishly towards that goal, we will see the number drop significantly in the coming year. That means less families and friends who have to suffer an excruciating pain. That means less young lives lost because of suicide. Now, THAT’S a New Year’s resolution!!

Tomorrow at 1:00pm, the family and friends of Colton Wilson will say goodbye to the boy they only had the pleasure of knowing for a short 13 years but will love forever. Tomorrow, at 1:00pm, say a prayer, sing a song, light a candle. Anything. Just do something to say goodbye to the young man most of us never knew but will always remember as yet another life that ended far too soon.

For those of you who would like to leave online condolences for the family, there is a facebook page set up in his memory. I’m sure that they would love to hear from you all.

I read recently that suicides for 2011 were at a 40 year low. I find that hard to believe but am ecstatic if it’s true. And, yet, to the family and friends of young Colton and the myriad other suicide victims of 2011, that number is completely meaningless. The goal, my prayer, is to get the number of teen suicides down to zero in 2012. Perhaps that’s unrealistic, but if we keep that as our goal and work feverishly towards that goal, we will see the number drop significantly in the coming year. That means less families and friends who have to suffer an excruciating pain. That means less young lives lost because of suicide. Now, THAT’S a New Year’s resolution!!

This morning, I received an email from a family member of Colton Wilson, a recent suicide victim. In it, she thanked me profusely for caring and for sharing her brother’s and her family’s story with everyone. It touched me like no other email I’ve ever received. Young Colton’s funeral is coming up Wednesday at 1:00pm. I will play a song for him that day, for sure. And, I’ll undoubtedly shed a tear for a boy I never knew.

Reading that email made me understand that this blog is really making a difference in its own little way. If I’m touching someone’s life, that’s what it’s all about. If I’m helping to save a life, that’s REALLY what it’s all about!! Inspired by the suicide death of Jamie Hubley, I’ve set out on a mission that will not end until I take my last breath. And, that mission is to make a difference somewhere in this world and to start doing my part, small as it may be, to try to prevent some young person from committing suicide. It’s a daunting task, I’ve since learned.

Writing about it isn’t hardly enough. I tried that before, writing about it in some of my songs. Not enough people were listening. Fair enough. Then, in October, I read about Jamie in Ottawa, and my life changed forever. I knew then that I had to get deeper involved. And, I have. This blog is being read by over 100 people daily, with more readers coming in almost daily. Easily, this blog has more of an audience than my music ever had, and I write good music!

So, now, the mission is to take this to the next level. Writing about it is good. People are connecting. People are relating. And, people are healing. But, how do we go about making a serious change in our social landscape? How do we begin to turn the tide so that teen suicide, be they gay, straight, or Martian, becomes a thing of the past? The answer, to me at least, is a very obvious one: the #1 place to start is a total re-education of our society as a whole. That’s a monumental task! People are set in their ways. People, including and maybe especially the young, live the way they’re taught. So, how do you climb that big mountain? One step at a time. That’s the approach we need to take.

So, here’s the challenge: each one (who reads this) teach one. This is a two-parter, actually. First step, be kind to someone you don’t know. Show compassion and understanding to someone you don’t know. Everyday. You never know how your kindness will affect someone. That one person may be having the worst day of his/her life. You could prevent something tragic from happening. If nothing else, you’ll put a smile on their face. How can that be wrong? The second part to the challenge is equally important: teach ONE PERSON to do what you’re doing. BOTH parts! That’s called paying it forward. If we can get that ball rolling, imagine the effect it will have in just a month’s time! If you need added motivation to get started on the challenge, I’ll provide you with a few:

Jamey Rodemeyer

Jamie Hubley

Jasmine McClain

Cameron DeVeronica

Colton Wilson

Ashlynn Connor

Mason Carter

Jacob Rogers

All of these names are from teenagers who committed suicide just since September!!!! And, there are many more. Do I really need to go on? Enough really is enough. Let’s start making a difference.