9 90’s Movies We Need To Stop Quoting In 2012

Austin Powers

My friend Chris still thinks that the best Halloweencostume of 2012 would be an Austin Powers getup, giving you license to just spout off painfully stale quotes like an ass. That would be the only acceptable set of circumstances under which you should quote any of those films. No “one MILLION dollars,” no “shagadelic,” no “yeah, baby!”

Acceptable holdout: None

Titanic

This goes quintuple if you’re a man. DEFINITELY don’t get on the bow of a boat and proclaim that you’re the king of the world. People will throw you overboard. The only guy I liked quoting was Cal, Billy Zane’s character, because it’s fun to quote assholes. But he never said anything nice, so you’re bound to hurt someone’s feelings, and that’s not what Screen Junkies is all about.

Acceptable holdout: If you’re about to run into something relatively benign, you can still playful yell, “ICEBERG! RIGHT AHEAD!”

Jerry Maguire

This is a dealbreaker, ladies. (30 Rock quotes are still totally awesome.) If you ever uttered, “Show me the money!” after 1997, you were wrong in doing so. I’m not here to yell at you, because what’s done is done, but people ARE judging you.

And if you ever tell a girl that she completes you, you don’t deserve that girl. Or any girl. Or a guy. You deserve nothing. Be original, dammit.

Still Acceptable

I don’t want to be so negative, so I wanted to add a list of films that are still totally okay to quote as well. We’ve got:

Jurassic Park (Strictly on an ironic level, especially “Hold on to your butts.”)

Mallrats

As Good As It Gets

The Firm (I know it sounds odd, but the Wilford Brimley quotes are solid gold.)

There’s Something About Mary (Because rest stops are the bathhouses of the 90’s for many, many, many gay men.)