Londo: How fast does the poison work? Vir: Very quickly, he said almost instantaneously. Londo: "Almost"? Feh! How fast is almost? Time enough for him to stagger back into the main room and cry out: "Londo killed me!"? Or maybe just enough time for him to say: "Londo kill... aargh"? Vir: And then he won't even get that out. I mean, maybe he'll just go: "Lon.. arrgh". Or maybe he's totally delirious and then say everything backwards: "Kill Londo!"

Laugh or you'll cry. In the middle of all the bullshit we have to put up with - and believe me, it's worse than you can imagine - you have to remember we've been given some tremendous gifts. In spite of it all, kid, we're lucky - damn lucky. We get to fly after all.

So laugh. Look for the humor in everything, because sure as spit it's there, and after drinking dead men's eyes and seeing the horror this rock holds, you'll need it. A moment of laughter at a bad time can tide you over through a bad patch, until you can get the wind behind you and realize how sweet life really is.

"Human life is basically a comedy. Even its tragedies often seem comic to the spectator, and not infrequently they actually have comic touches to the victim. Happiness probably consists largely in the capacity to detect and relish them. A man who can laugh, if only at himself, is never really miserable."

"One of the things I miss about Gene Siskel is that he's not around to make jokes about my condition... His jokes would have the saving grace of being funny. Here's one I'm pretty sure he would have come up with: 'Well, there's one good thing about Roger's surgery. At least he no longer need a bookmark to find his chin.'"

"Iíd much rather be doing comedy on a beach in a tiki bar on Costa Rica right now, but they donít have comedy there, they donít need comedians, because theyíre already smiling naturally. Comedy works when people are miserable and for that reason alone, you are the best audiences on Earth."

— Michael K., "Itís The End Of The World As We Know It, Abe Vigoda Has Died"

"Comedians get asked a lot whether they were funny as a child. That's probably because it's a more comfortable question than 'Were you a lonely soul struggling for a way to make sense of a society that's inherently absurd and evil?'"

"Proving what a wonderful character he really is, OíBrien manages to find the fun in the very dangerous situation they have wound up in by reacting in horror at his torn trousers! This in turn makes everybody laugh their head off at such ridiculous minutiae when they have just stared death in the face so intimately. "

"It says a lot about both babies and rubbers that a man would willingly pay someone to cut open his scrotum to ensure he never has to deal with either entity ever again...Every urologist is a fucking comedian. I went for my consult, and the doc had to bend me over and check my prostate. When he stuck his finger up my ass, I squirmed a bit, which is a logical reaction to a stranger poking around inside you. When he pulled out, he joked, 'Well, you wouldn't do so hot in prison.' HE SAID THAT. Swear to God. I bet that was the most well-worn quip in his arsenal."

"A Dr. Demento favorite and influence (both direct and indirect) on musical comedians of later years and today, (Tom) Lehrer remains a cultural icon despite his relatively short performance career and his refusal to write newer songs. While this does mean we are robbed of the sort of topical satire he excelled at, much of Lehrer's songbook remains fresh today, largely due to the gleeful pessimism that is the man's trademark. Yes, underneath the jolly piano vamps and atrocious slant rhymes of his ditties lurks a deep, dark hatred and distrust of humanity, and the bitter tragedy that is modern life: people are foolish idiots, governments are corrupt and ineffectual, and complete annihilation is only one botched political conflict away... With nihilist numbers like this one, it's more than a little surprising Lehrer hasn't turned up in the Fallout universe in some shape or form: "

"I would say laughter is the best medicine. But itís more than that. Itís an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids. Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche, and then applies an antibiotic cream... Obviously, itís a challenge to make light of the darkness but, um, itís better than crying about it."

"...look at the blood on the manís hands. 900 years, countless very selfish choices, and heís literally blown planets up. His own race, you know, thatís all on his hands. Which is why I think he has to make silly jokes and wear a fez. Because if he didn't, heíd hang himself."

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