You did good, New Orleans

The people of New Orleans successfully inoculated themselves from Ebola. Normally Ebola cannot resist the Super Bowl. It spreads its sh-t all over the event, all weekend, an unstoppable viral contagion that decimates everything in its path. Last year Arizona was victimised by its disease. This year, it could have been New Orleans. But it was once friends with Kim Kardashian. They broke up and ironically enough, due to Kardashian’s relationship with Reggie Bush, Ebola did not want to associate, and New Orleans wasn’t inviting either. New Orleans did what it needed to do, a city rising from the floods of Katrina, resilient and rebounding, they cockblocked that mother-cker, and that piece of sh-t stayed away.

Instead, it’s now in Paris with the boyfriend, Ryan Reynolds. Well, not really Ryan Reynolds, but he looks it, non? Same bland beefcake pretty face, same foundation skin, same contrived I’m not posing but I am really posing posing. I have not committed his name to memory. You do not need to remind me.

Now if only Paris the city could be as astute as New Orleans. There should be a world ban on this human wart. Send it scurrying into a hole and never let it out again.