Friday, October 31, 2003

i admire her talent, for singing and penning her own songs, though her own compositions sounds very alt, but it's just that that i find her amazing. she doesn't care much about the market, producing what she likes and want to share with us all. i remember her fable (yu4 yan2) where she wrote this set of songs that are somewhat interlinked, but each retaining their separate identities, and the lyrics, needed to be accompanied by a glossary... very alt, very character...

she's going to have a new album!!! i can't wait, it has been like 2 years plus since the last album... really, she puts time and effort into producing every one of her albums that time is not a factor nor is the publicity. i believe that if a singer produces like 3 albums a year, quality would be traded in.

not only will there be a new faye album for me to fawn over, there 2046!!! it's touted to house the most interesting on-screen couple in recent film history, faye and takuya... well, something to wait for, though i personally think that faye and takeshi kaneshiro looks the best together... seen them together on screen for some golden horse award ceremony before, oh man, they just ooze attraction... actually, directors johnnie to and wai kar fai also think so too, and they long have wanted to pair the couple together, but, well, it became gigi leung...

not only is the recent news of faye hyping me up, WUBAI'S COMING TO SINGAPORE!!! i just can't wait!!! that reminds me to collect 24 abc stout bottle caps... friends, where are you when i need you?! pls, anyone possible, lend me a helping hand and collect the bottle caps, if not i'll sing wubai's song into your ears everytime i see you! (frowning, with hands on my hips and pouting)

Thursday, October 30, 2003

i've just finished making notes for totalitarianism... it's amazing how a sole person like stalin can hold up his whole nation on his two bare arms... hitler has his right hand men ard him, like himmler, goebbels, ya, but stalin, absolutely amazing... well, mussolini's a weakling compared to stalin...

some people are attracted to power, like soong mei-ling... i'm not saying it's good or bad, can't speak evil of the dead anyway, but it is said that power is aphrodisiac, or the chinese emperors wouldn't have like 5000 concubines...

but then, stalin has i think two wives only (i'm not very sure if there's the first one, actually), one died young, he remarried the other who committed suicide because he purged the university she taught in. after her, he never fell in love again, or maybe that's because he was too busy, or maybe he became a workaholic to numb himself of the loss of his wife...

hitler had one childhood sweetheart who committed suicide with him the night they got married after Germany was on the verge of losing in wwii... are those women attracted to the totalitarians because of their power, i serious doubt it...

i don't know much about mussolini, except that he was indeed a women's man, so maybe the italians are a bit more different?

okay, i'll be continuing with my econs now... through trial and error, i think that the best time my brain works is from 10 through 6, with short breaks in between like what i'm doing now, then i'll rest from 6 to 12, or maybe 1, then i'll slack, read the papers, go for tuition... aftns are so sian... studying's worse...

Saturday, October 18, 2003

i dreamt of someone i havent met for a very long time ytd... this brought me back to an incidence a couple of years back...

i once did something very terrible, i accused a classmate for something he didnt do, and got him into deep trouble. when i found out about my mistake the next day, i apologised to him immediately, and admitted the mistake to the teacher. i thought that that was enough, but i was so wrong... my classmate never forgiven me... my teacher, well, she didnt reprimand me for wrongly accusing my classmate, and instead told him not to create any more trouble that would make people have the wrong idea about him... perhaps, if she had punished me, he would not hate me that much... and i would definitely not feel that bad...

ytd, i dreamt of him. i think that somewhere deep inside me craves for his forgiveness. but, really, what right do i have to seek his forgiveness? i was totally in the wrong... okay, to be fairer to myself, he sure did something that would lead me to think that he did that incidence, but for me to accuse him without evidence, i'd really ought to be shot...

still, to be forgiven will be like given a new lease of life... i dont think i'd ever be seeing him again, so i guess, this incidence would be one of my greatest regret...

hope you are now living a better life, and all the best in whatever you do, with me always sincerely praying for you, my classmate...

Thursday, October 16, 2003

read in the papers that wong kar wai's picking up pace for 2046 again, and takuya's back... he started 2046 in like 1999, so it's like 4 years liao, in the mean time, in the mood for love came out, tony lueng did a dozen of movies, takuya had 2 daughters, een faye produced an album, tony did one too, maggie chueng got divorced and found a new beau, chang chen met brad pitt in hollywood... nicole kidman's waiting for him to be done with this to start on a new production together, time's everchanging...

it is said that 2046 is sort of a sequel to in the mood for love where tony plays a lovelorn author writing about the future, the other actors play his fictitious characters...

in the mood for love is one show that touched me greatly... love is not about possession... now thinking of it, don't know if anyone noticed it, but the hotel room where tony stayed in after leaving his wife was room number 2046...

reading about 2046, brought me back listening to the ost of in the mood for love... and listening to that, reminded me of a faye wong song in her 2001 album... here's a loose translation of it... one thing to note is that the number of syllabus in my translation mirrors the number of words in the actual song... if there's a chance, do listen to it, esp if you were touched by in the mood for love...

rendezvous

because of that unknown ringonce again remeasured your long fingerthe fingerprints you'd sentthe hidden thoughts i'd owedi'm afraid at this nightwill be returned

coincidental joytears need not be stubbornfinish this path of routereturn to each own worlds

forgive youand your that forth fingeryou let me believein this world there are emotionsluxurious memoriescan only envythe innocents

Saturday, October 11, 2003

many people have complained about the ending of my story... well, i don't like the ending too, but for this story, the ending came out before i started on the story, so, such an ending was inevitable... the idea of this story came from a poem of the same title that i wrote one august sunday after listening to jolin's bu4la1ge2guang3chang3 and harlem's chun1ni2...

an english translation of the original Sealed In Time... (pls don't ask me why a chinese poem has an english title)

when every was finewhen you said forever

every's life was in abundanceeach poured true feelings

father having a stable jobyou stood through tough times

mother taking care of babyi gave you all mine

if fineness can persistif all can last

but a disaster at any point can cause ruins to blessingsdeeper, in fact, when time stands stillwe live in a world of two, oblivious to everywithout negatives, forever without negativesonly until much much later when others unseal the passage of time...

but every is latehappiness was made forever after passing of timememories lastnegatives morphs throughmy memory, because of you, under the seal of time, will be blessed, and be pridedworry not the gossips of those who unsealed us...

---

hmm... one thing i like about the word "seal", is that it is not only a verb but also a noun... now to think of it, it's also an animal... hee... gives life to the word...

Thursday, October 02, 2003

okok... its finally out... instead of just reading it, i think it would be better if you try and picture the images in yor head... try animated characters, if possible... heehee...

Sealed In Time II

“Dora, who are you? Why can we only meet at night?” Benedict finally plucked up the courage to ask, for he knew that there was one more question he had to ask.

Princess Isadora pondered over he two questions carefully. On one hand, she was tired of hiding her true identity from him, while on the other hand, she was afraid that her identity would bring about complications in their relationship. She knew for sure her parents would not approve of Benedict.

“I, well,” Princess Isadora slowly picked the right words to use and frantically searched for an excuse. “I don’t really think, well, you see...”

“Dora, I don’t really care if you are a fugitive or a rich lady, I love you. And I need you. I want to marry you. Would you forget about your past and come with me?” Benedict frustratedly cut Princess Isadora and proposed to her. It was obvious to him that Princess Isadora was hiding a secret past that she did not want to reveal to him, and that did not bother him as long he she could assure him of a future together.

The proposal came as a shock to Princess Isadora. She stared hard at Benedict, he was handsome, yet kind, very understanding towards her, and most importantly she loved him. Every time she thought about him, her stomach would flutter. When she saw him, her heart would beat faster and she would feel flushed. But never once did it cross her mind that they could be together.

Just then, the silence between them was broken by shouts of “Disaster! My dear village people, please flee for your lives!” As the shouts drew nearer, Princess Isadora recognised it.

“Princess Isadora!” shrieked Jasper who emerged from behind the woods. A few weeks having not seen him, he seemed to have aged quite a bit. He was covered with rotten fruits and vegetables apparently thrown by his “dear village people”, and looked worse than the state of a beggar. “Your Highness must listen to me! Your Highness must convince the King and Queen, too, that disaster is drawing closer!”

As Princess Isadora greeted Jasper, a stone fell heavily into Benedict’s heart. The beautiful girl he so wished to marry was not a fugitive nor a rich lady, but one of royal descent, the Princess of his state. Immediately, a wave of inferiority filled him. He was a newly freed bonded servant who grew grapes for a living.

At that time, Jasper noticed that they were at the woods where the Princess was not supposed to be. She was supposed to be in the palace, and definitely was not supposed to be with a young man.

“Aren’t you the guy at the market place the other time? Why... Oh my God, Princess! Don’t tell me you have been sneaking out of the palace to meet him?” Jasper cried out in disbelief. “What would His majesty say about it?”

“Savior, from the bottom of my heart, I really thank you for saving me. I, I know what I’m supposed to do,” Benedict’s inferiority got over the better of him and he silently made a resolution. “But please, don’t get Dora, no, don’t get the Princess into trouble over me. It was entirely my fault.”

With that, Benedict turned away and, without looking at Princess Isadora, the started walking away. Princess Isadora was stunned by the sudden turn in events. she could not react to the changes. However, as Benedict’s shadow slowly faded into the darkness, her heart and mind came to a single conclusion.

“Ben! Don’t leave me!” she burst out as she ran over to him deeper into the woods. “I love you. I can’t live without you!”

“Scandalous!” wailed Jasper. Quickly, he turned towards the direction of the palace. He needed to let the King and Queen know about this matter immediately as he knew that they would be devastated if the Princess disappeared and never returned.

However, as he was reaching the palace, he remembered the decadent lifestyle of the King and Queen and how they had totally disregarded him. He stopped in his tracks. Did he really care about their feelings when they had totally ignored him? Indeed, they were his King and Queen. Then he thought about Princess Isadora who had everything she could have had – except freedom – since young. He could see her innocent eyes asking him what hardship was. He saw a future of nothing if he allowed her to elope with Benedict as he thought that Benedict would never be able to take care of the Princess like how the palace did. He continued his journey to the palace.

“Sire! M’am!” Jasper cried out as he forced his way into the palace after being stopped by the guards.

“Have you come to sprout nonsense again?” boomed the King, with a touch of hope in his voice, a hope that the answer was not so. The King did not like being interrupted during his entertainment time, be he still had some compassion for the person who cheered him up whenever he was feeling down and never failing to give some witty comment to anyone who came close to looking down on him. He did not bear to see Jasper being thrown out again.

“Sire! The Princess has run off with a guy!”

“Nonsense!”

Several of the guards let go of Jasper and rushed to the Princess’ chamber to check on her, just to be on the safe side. To the King’s horror, they returned reporting that the Princess was nowhere to be found.

“Quick, Sire! Come with me to get her back.” Jasper urged.

The King and Queen and all the guards in the palace followed Jasper. A tinge of regret flashed past him, but there was no way he could back out at this point in time.

As Jasper led them in a frantic search for the Princess, she had caught up with Benedict and kissed him. At once, the inferiority vanished inside him. He knew that it did not matter if she was a princess of a beggar, he would love her as she was and she would likewise love him with all her heart.

Meanwhile Jasper and the search team had arrived at the woods. As everyone split up to search for the Princess, a loud roar came from behind them while the ground shook. A sense of dread flitted by in Jasper.

“Dory!” screamed the Queen as she caught sight of the shadow of Princess Isadora. “Get the man!” she instructed furiously. She had not been that angry until now, perhaps the loud rumbles had affected her.

A gust of smoke rose from behind as Princess Isadora and Benedict tried their best to outrun the trained guards. However, they were soon encircled by the guards who grabbed hold of Benedict and tried to pull him away from the Princess. Princess Isadora screamed and cried, but the commotion was not heard by the others as the rumbles and roars became louder.

“Oh no! The disaster!” Jasper cried after seeing a ball of fire flying up into the sky and burst.

The King looked up at the sky. Thick ash fell on him. Jasper’s previous warnings of disaster echoed behind his mind. Suddenly, he felt remorse. If only he had taken heed of Jasper...

Princess Isadora struggled with all her might and broke free from the guards who were afraid to hurt her and rushed to Benedict’s side. Ash and lava rained down on them, screams of terror of everyone else there was cover by loud explosions. In the next few minutes, what previously was a thriving town of Pompeii turned into a flat land of volcanic ash.

Thousands of years later, was one to excavate the area of Pompeii to see the remains of the Princess with her love. Their love had passed the test of time... ...

die xxoos der joan

xxoos otherwise known as jal4eva, or more commonly to her friends Joan Ang. xxoos is always in small casings as it means kisses and hugs, or what she'd like it to mean, hugs and kisses and a tongue. die xxoos der joan just means the hugs and kisses of joan.