3.

I just finished reading the letter I wrote you last year on your birthday. I hope one day you will read these and know how much you are loved.

This year has been a whirlwind. You have been the joy of my heart. I am so thankful that I get to be your teacher in education and in faith.

You are still so curious. Everything needs to be touched or poked, sometimes smelled. Daddy and I crack up on a daily basis at the things you say or faces you make. Currently you like to tell us “No” about anything you can, but some of the time it’s in agreement to a warning. “Clean up your toys or Charlie will eat them – remember how he bit Cinderella’s hand off?” And you solemnly shake your head with a “No…” while grabbing toys from Charlie’s reach.

You and he have seemed to come to an understanding. If he nips you, you’ll bonk him on the head if no one is looking. If we are, you’ll throw yourself on the floor with dramatic sobs. He in turn thinks this is an amazing game and only nips more. It’s as if your screams are his adrenaline.

You are very independent. “Do it self” is heard a lot around here, from brushing your teeth to putting on your socks. You can nearly dress yourself, but still have trouble putting a shirt on and off because of the arm holes.

Napping is a bright spot in both our days. Mama gets to work and you get a much needed down time. You have Yellow Kitty, Brown Blanket, Brown Monkey, and Pink Kitty all in bed with you each time. And yes, you named them all that.

Something you do that warms my heart and makes me ache at how big you’re getting is in the mornings. You’ll quietly come into the room and check to see if I’m awake. And if not, you patter back to yours and read books for nearly a half hour.

Daddy holds a special place in your heart. He reads you the Bible stories at night, and you love to “help” him play his video games with a controller. You love to wrestle with him and Charlie. He let’s you help him make popcorn and promises to crush the “bunders” (thunder) at night.

You love Curious George, Thomas, kitties, but most of all Cinderella. I find it endearing that you have a passion for both being in the dirt with your trucks as often as possible and a love for baby dolls. You also love to follow me around the house with a wet rag and clean things. During laundry you help me carry things to rooms, unloading the dishwasher you toss all the silverware in the drawer and clap your hands saying, “Yay! Great job!”

Things you say a lot:

Cingrella – Cinderella

Chawie – Charlie

“Two babies in heaven with Jesus?”

“Sorry ____ , didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“NO! NO RU-BANDS!” (rubber bands) – this when your hair was longer and we did ponytails

“I did poo!” – this from the bathroom

“Kitty not angry” – this is usually untrue as you’re pulling/smashing him while telling me it

Daddy and I love you so very much. Our lives are better because of you.

You know, I actually hadn’t. I pictured her as older (like a teen) but then wondered if she’d really care at 16. 😉 So maybe earlier? Maybe when she moves out? This is a great question – makes me think!

This is such a beautiful letter and a wonderful idea for children’s birthdays. I’ve been keeping a journal of my son’s daily highlights, but nothing this detailed. I just LOVE this! I hope your daughter has a very special birthday!

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[…] Being 3 was such a fun year. You’ve made so many little friends of all ages. You love to play outside and especially in the dirt. Your favorite meal is plain noodles with parmesan cheese, putting to shame my smug “mom of a one year old” thoughts of how making organic baby food would mean we wouldn’t go through this phase. […]

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{About Me}

I'm Diana, and my blog is about loss, grief, motherhood, trauma, faith, moments of incredible wonder, candid thoughts, and a little snark. You can find more details on our story here.
Sam and I have been married since I was 19. He was 20. He's an OIF, medically retired veteran of the Army and Marines. We have 5 children - Bella was born in 2009 after a rather bumpy pregnancy and her first year was mostly crazy reflux. Preston and Julian, my identical twins, were born at 20 weeks in 2012 and lived only a few hours. Kaden was born full term in 2013 seemingly perfect, and at 4 days old he was found to have cardiomyopathy due to ciHHV-6. He passed away at 3 weeks old. Charlotte was born in 2015, and was a complete surprise to us. Each of them have changed our lives completely.
Currently I'm in school to become a counselor who focuses on trauma and grief.
I love Jesus - even though sometimes I get really angry and upset at the way our life has gone. I hope through my faults, insecurities, snarkiness, selfish nature, and general mess - my love for Christ and His work in my life shines through in my story.
Thank you for reading and sharing. It's an honor to be able to write it as I live it.