Happy New Year's Eve!How are you spending the last day of 2015?What are your dreams, aspirations, and goals for 2016?

I must admit, 2016 hasn't been a year I've looked forward to. The first time I read 2016 on a document was when we registered our daughter for Kindergarten many years ago. At the time, 2016 seemed far away but like my Gram and Mom told me, "Enjoy every day because before you know, she'll be graduating." I didn't realize the magnitude of truth in their statement until September of this year as Mags started her Senior year of high school and the college application and FAFSA conversations replaced the teen norm.

There are days I'm more proud of our daughter than others yet one thing is true, I'm proud of her every day. Her strength, determination, goal setting, and forward thinking encourage me. Sometimes the bold leadership skills drive me crazy but if we've done our job as parents well, then the separation process is only normal. People tend to focus on "senioritis", I know it bit me in the butt (way more than my daughter but don't tell her that)but until being the parent on the flip side of this time-to-grow-up coin...I didn't realize, the greatest difficulty is the role of parent.

I'm not taking away from the important and life changing decisions our teens face, seventeen years old and having to pick the career path and college that will meet this goal...all before February break! Yikes, no wonder our seniors get a little flighty, growing up is serious and scary stuff. As I set my goals for 2016 and run things through my brain, I'm grateful for a kid with a head on her shoulders and who applies the strategies and skills we've modeled and taught.

My goal as a parent this year is simple, yet a challenge...Let go so she can grow. As you celebrate New Year's Eve, remember not to drink and drive and as you set your goals, how can you be a model and/or catalyst for the next generation?

​Life is about more than the ball rising to the top for Midnight, how can we spur and encourage our kids to reach their goals and explode confetti of understanding, respect, peace, love, hope, generosity, empathy, and leadership in their adulthood?

How will you spur and encourage the kids in your circle of influence,to reach their goals and explode confetti of understanding, respect, peace, love, hope, generosity, empathy, and leadership in their adulthood?

It is vacation week for my daughter and I so we kicked off our time together with a couple lazy days. A favorite past time of ours, jammy day, is only better when we watch a movie series from beginning to end. This year's Black Friday shopping completed a series we like to watch, Harry Potter. We started on Monday afternoon and finished last night. I didn't even turn my computer on, I was queen of the "Messy Hair and I don't Care" slogan on teen apparel. But instead of wearing a shirt in public for others to see, I rocked the look at home with only my favorite peeps shaking their heads, and enjoying my VERY lazy mode.

Typically, vacation means catching up and getting ahead. There is a list for each day and little to no time for rest and refreshment. This year I tried something new and guess what...I like it. Jammies, movies, and relaxation. I feel better prepared to move forward today and into 2016.

Breakfast with a friend this morning, bowling with my high school peeps midday, help at the food pantry this afternoon, and a late dinner with friends fill our day today. I have a couple lists started and others that need to be written before I forget all that needs to be done. My portion of dinner is in the crock pot and once I post this blog, I'll make homemade rolls to cook tonight.

Sometimes we just have to slow down and chillax. Enjoy this "Chillax" video from YouTube, it's one of GoNoodle's videos. While you take a break from the busyness of life, leave a comment below of how you are spending the week between Chrismtas and New Year's Day.

How are you spending the end of the year? Leave a comment below.

BEFORE

When we clear the physical clutter from our lives, we literally make way for inspiration and 'good, orderly direction' to enter.Julia Cameron

AFTER

Last week I posted a blog with a picture of the piles of laundry waiting to be folded and the array of piles growing nearly as tall as us. My husband shook his head as I admitted to the blogosphere my lack of motivation and desire to do housework lately. I'm a slacker wife and mother, what can I say. Or am I grieving daughter trying to figure out how to keep moving forward with joy and care for my family? Regardless the adjectives you link to me, the truth and reality is the same. My house was a chaotic disaster. It resembled how I felt on the inside and until last week, I didn't even complain because I just didn't care.

Yet in the midst of blogging the #ChristmasCountdown, something happened. God restored the joy and desire to write. He reminded me, nudged me, and loved me through your comments and messages. He hugged me through my friends and sisters-in-Christ. He enveloped me in His grace and mercy to not just go through the motions of Christmas but to experience a little joy.

Did I get the Christmas decorations down from the attic? No. Did we put up a tree and bling the house out in red and green? No. Did we slowly figure out this year's normal and what worked for our family? Yes. Did we celebrate the birth of Jesus with our church family? Yes. Did the tradition of Christmas breakfast at my parent's house continue? Yes. Was it a different kind of year? Yes.

Were we right or wrong in the decisions we made? I don't think so. With grief, there is no right or wrong as long as we don't dwell in any one area too long. I received some great gifts from my Dad, husband, and daughter. Mostly for the kitchen, a gentle nudge from heaven to get baking and cooking. These things bring me joy and help me think and relax, of course my family reaps the benefits too. A multitude of Dunkin Donuts and even some Minion apparel (my first thanks to my daughter). Even with the fabulousness of these items, I think God delivered the greatest of gifts...He restored hope, joy, love, and even forgiveness in my heart.

I'm not where I need to be but I'm closer than I was a week ago, or even yesterday for that matter. It's the little things that help us move forward with joy and a smile on our face. With this in mind, check it out...I cleaned the house and each time I walk in and even as I sit in my new reading nook, I say out loud, "I like this". Something as simple as moving the furniture and running the vacumm cleared more than physical clutter, it removed spiritual clutter.

I'm not where I need to be but I'm closer than I was a week ago, or even yesterday for that matter. It's the little things that help us move forward with joy and a smile on our face. With this in mind, check it out...I cleaned the house and each time I walk in and even as I sit in my new reading nook, I say out loud, "I like this".

Something as simple as moving the furniture and running the vacuum cleared more than physical clutter, it removed spiritual clutter. My favorite aspect of the move, my new reading and study nook. Since taking this picture, I've organized the shelf between the two chairs and it's neat and tidy too. Feeling thankful for the motivation to "get over it" as my Gram would say and not just go through the motions but to move forward with purpose and hope...one day and step at a time.

If you ever experienced loss or a struggle that made it difficult to do the ordinary,what helped you clear the clutter (physical, emotional, spiritual)to move forward one step and day at a time? ​Will you share below?

Is their your vacation? As an educator, this is vacation for me. One of my greatest joys in choosing education as a career is the blessing to be home with my daughter when she doesn't have school. Snow days and day care weren't concerns I needed to worry about. The only worry on a snow day, what time would the home made cinnamon rolls will be finished and ready to frost. As if these aren't cause enough to celebrate, vacations and summer break are times of memory making and busyness typically.

This Christmas break, we took a break from the busy and slowed it down to an open and bare schedule. A time for ourselves to recharge and reconnect. My Dad teased because an empty calendar usually means I didn't write something down or it didn't get carried over from the calendar on my phone (that my daughter encourages me to keep attempting) to my "old fashioned" calendar in the kitchen. Not this time though. In addition to the open time slots and freedom to sleep in or get up and do something, I have even limited tech time during vacation.

My computer had almost 48 hours of "off" time until Saturday when I logged a couple hours to write my blogs so Sunday could be tech free. I thought I'd miss the Internet time but it has been the latter. It's been nice to disconnect part of the day, so much so, it might develop into the norm.

As our family enjoys family time to recharge and reconnect, how are you spending this Christmas vacation? Traveling or at home? If this isn't a vacation time for you, what is your favorite vacation location or memory? Will you share below?

​I have hidden your word in my heartthat I might not sin against you."Psalm 119:11

Yesterday I organized and puttered around the house, things that have been on a perpetual lists since last school year. As some know, it is only a dream until it is written down. So the things I accomplished aren't goals achieved because I never wrote them down. Instead, they are the little things you notice when you sit on the couch and stare with no purpose across the room (but get up to do anything about it). Am I the only one who has these moments?

While, regardless, the furniture in our living room and kitchen are rearranged. This might not shock those close to us because moving around the furniture while I clean is one of my favorite things to do. It's been quite awhile though since the mood struck and it struck on Christmas Eve and I finished yesterday. I took Christmas Day off. In the midst of the shuffling of furniture and "organizing" items, I came across years worth of index cards with Bible verses on them.

The ones in this picture are the memory verses our pastor at the time put in the bulletin as a tactile reminder of that week's Bible verse. I would hang them next to the bathroom mirror, over my kitchen sink, and even on the front door so I would "see and read" them throughout the day. There was also years worth of index cards with Bible verse handwritten by me too, some dated 2006. I smiled and read the dates and the particular verse. Some were hole punched and held together with a ring from different Bible studies and some were clipped together based on something I must have needed God's help to get through.

I share this memory for those who cherish God's Word and write it on index cards to help you memorize it, or in my case, to read during the day as a tool to help keep the mind focused on God and not the struggle or trouble. This is a strategy and life lesson I've gotten away from but cleaning out the file and bins of index cares rekindled this practice. I contemplated tossing the "old" cards and starting fresh and then decided against it.

First and foremost, God's Word never grows old or goes void. Secondly, the dates and notes written along with the Bible verses are part of my life history and remind me of lessons learned, lessons I still need to learn, and obstacles I've overcome. To throw the cards away would be like throwing away the progress made, the forward motion I'm still in, and the chance to reflect later in life and say..."I might be a slow study but at least I kept studying."

I remember my cousin sharing her ring binder of index cards when my Aunt Kit was in the hospital. She talked about how God encouraged her during the day and it fit in her pocket book or even jacket pocket if need be. I had a few verses on index cards at that point but became "hooked" after our conversation. Sometimes it is the little things that end up making a big difference.

Index cards are inexpensive and come in a variety of colors and sizes. My size and color variations are running low but never enough to stop writing the verse I might need to get me through the day. I gift you this virtual index card, what Bible verse does God want you to write on it? Write it down and carry it with you today. Let me know how this helped, sometimes...the verse and card isn't for you. You might meet someone that "just happens" to need that particular card. Share the gift, you never know when this 3 x 5 might change a heart.

What are some ways you use index cards ​to help you through life?

Thank you for joining me on my countdown to Christmas the past twelve days. They were fabulous blogs and some days may have been less than interesting yet I accomplished my goal - to blog every day until Christmas. As I bum around the house in my jammies today, I thought there might be some who do the same thing. In case you missed the countdown or wanted to share it on social media because somewhere in the midst of my writing, your heart was blessed, the entire countdown is included in this one blog.

Click on the picture to read each blog. Have a great day and catch up on your sleep! ​Thanks for reading!

What is your favorite...memory, gift given/received, or time spent this Christmas?

"Nearby, in the fields outside of Bethlehem, a group of shepherds were guarding their flocks from predators in the darkness of night. Suddenly a messenger of the Lord stood in front of them, and the darkness was replaced by a glorious light—the shining light of God’s glory. They were terrified!Messenger: Don’t be afraid! Listen! I bring good news, news of great joy, news that will affect all people everywhere. Today, in the city of David, a Liberator has been born for you! He is the promised Anointed One, the Supreme Authority!You will know you have found Him when you see a baby, wrapped in a blanket, lying in a feeding trough.At that moment, the first heavenly messenger was joined by thousands of other messengers—a vast heavenly choir. They praised God."

Merry Christmas from our family to yours...

For some reading today you are used to warmer temperatures during the holidays but those of us in New York are more comfortable and accepting of snow and cold for Christmas. I opened the door this morning to let the dog out and my bare feet were greeted with warmth on the porch followed by a deep breath of fresh air. Not the typical freeze your nose hairs and bones greeting one receives this time of year.

It felt nice yet at the same time, a little snow for the lights to bounce off would be nice. So as I stood with the door open, letting the fresh warm air in the house, I realized something. The weather is out of my circle of control, rather than let it be one more let down this Christmas, I'm going to embrace it with a walk or two. How will you modify traditions to fit the bizarre weather?

I did something new to start our Christmas holiday this morning. We usually have Hawaiian blend, but this year we are trying something new. As I purchased a pound of Starbuck's "2015 Christmas Blend", I laughed out loud because if I was closer to home, someone might suggest I pick up the, "Friends don't let friends drink Starbucks" t-shirt at my next Dunkin Donuts stop.

The thruway attendant at this particular Starbucks let me have a sample to sip and smell. I thought, this could be a new tradition. My understanding is they have a new blend each Christmas. I ground the beans this morning, the house smells lovely and the coffee taste delicious. This might be a new tradition for us, Starbuck's Christmas Blend each year. Of course we'll have to travel to Syracuse or on the thruway to get it, but it's an excuse for a road trip.

Something as simple as coffee to kick off Christmas...​What are you doing today?

Inspired by ten amazing, talented, and poetic students. I had the opportunity to teach an after school writing enrichment program for eight sessions. Initially I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it as the proposal was due soon after my Mom's passing but I knew I needed to do something to keep my head in the game.

To write is a passion, and one I was struggling to find so instead of giving up I wrote a proposal to inspire students to write and decided to focus on poetry. Poetry isn't a strength so I used it as an opportunity to improve my own craft and force me to delve into a little writing 101. I never expected the impact the students would have on me, my writing, and rekindling the spark to write. I'm thankful my proposal was accepted and even more thankful I put one foot in front of the other to move forward and focus on the good. The blessings abound.

To teach the kids about poetry and see them excited to learn, read, and write brought me such joy. Each session recharged me and I found myself modifying my initial plans each week to meet the student's interests and talents. Not only did they write poetry, they illustrated a poem, reading both in front of their families on the last night. The energy and love in the classroom that night was amazing and I believe the next generation of authors and poets is only beginning.

Today's blog is dedicated to them and I hope they keep writing. Without knowing it, God used my passion to write and teach, and my wonderful students, to help me find a piece of me I lost and restore light and love to my heart. I was invited to church by a student and a class of students reminded me why I teach, learn, write, and speak. God knows the way to my heart, I think my Mom would be happy to know I didn't give up and even more tickled to know it was my kiddos at school who triggered the forward motion. Never underestimate the power of a child.

C atching up with old friends

H aving coffee and tea with cookies

R eading Christmas Classics

I nviting family over for dinner

S inging carols around the piano

T asting new kinds of cookies

M aking memories with each activity

A rriving late because I had to do "just one more thing"

S ales motivating me to get out at 7 a.m.

C lement Clark Moore's Twas the Night read aloud

O pportunities to bless others

U nwrapping gifts of love

N ever underestimating the good in people

T elling stories of the past to the next generation

D elivering cookies, gifts, and hugs to brighten another's day

O rganizing gatherings and festivities

W ondering if the miracle of Christmas is contagious

N estled in with a good book

Merry Christmas...what poem will you share?

My apologies for not posting this morning. The good news, it wasn't because I overslept or chose to ignore the blog. Instead, I was working through a couple lists in order to get a few things completed before businesses are closed for the holiday. I even managed to have time for a shower, without rushing. So this morning was a win, with the exception of not posting this blog until after 8 p.m. At least it's posted, right?

Anyway, as I contemplated what to blog about, a few things came to mind. This in itself brought a smile to my face since the past few months it felt as if inspiration was far and few between. After working today, stopping to visit with my Dad, a quick visit with my Auntie, and our dinner smorgasbord...I still lacked direction of what to post. It was a phone call from a friend that confirmed the direction to take, belief, or in this case...BELIEVE.

What do you believe? I believe Christmas is the celebration and remembrance of Jesus birth in a manger, in Bethlehem, so many years ago. Jesus birth offered hope to a hurting nation and still offers this same hope to us today. You might not believe in Jesus or God yet they believe in, and love you.

Life is a journey, a train ride if you will. Great things can happen when you believe. Put your dreams in writing and create goals, believe you can and will achieve them as you trust God to lead the way throughout the journey and process. Christmas is a season of hope with a multitude of miracles evident when you choose to believe and "see" with your heart. Merry Christmas!

Hope of all hopes, dream of our dreams, a child is born, sweet-breathed; a son is given to us: a living gift.And even now, with tiny features and dewy hair, He is great. The power of leadership, and the weight of authority, will rest on His shoulders.His name? His name we’ll know in many ways-- He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,Dear Father everlasting, ever-present never-failing,Master of Wholeness, Prince of Peace.Isaiah 9:6 the VOICE

You can trust the starlight when you remember Who created the stars.What are you believing God for this Christmas season?

I took this picture of our chaotic, messy, and disaster zone of a home on Saturday morning with intentions of posting a before and after photo in that day's blog. The intention and message of the blog was going to be that although we might be surrounded by clutter, once we take the time to sift and sort, something beautiful us underneath.

There is still something wonderous underneath, yet on Monday morning all I have is the "wonder". I wonder if I'll find it before Christmas. So my notion of having the house clean top to bottom and the laundry all done, folded, and put away before going to bed was a fail BUT the time spent with my daughter was a priceless success. Amy I the only with weekend moments like this?

Sometimes life takes on a life in its own rights, do I hear a "Oh yeah!" from anyone else reading this? The good news I did fold the laundry piled in this chair and there are two loads finishing in the washer and dryer this morning to start my next mountain heap. I could grumble about laundry OR I can choose to be thankful.

I choose to be thankful. Why does five loads of clothes, waiting to be folded and put away make me thankful? It's quite simple actually:*I have a family healthy enough to wear clothes to school/work and change for their afternoon/evening activities*I have a husband and daughter living with me*We have running water that can run both hot or cold*We have a washer and dryer in our home and don't need to venture out to the laundry mat (I remember those days with a peanut of a daughter dancing and coloring while we waited for the week's worth of laundry to finish) So when the washer shakes and vibrates the floor, I choose to be thankful and pray it last*We have enough clothes baskets so I can choose to be lazy and stack the laundry each morning after I wash and dry it, then fold it on the weekend*We have ample clothes so if I don't get around to folding, life is not stressed*If stacked clothes waiting to be folded is my week's greatest challenge, life is really good!

What task might be a burden on the surface but evidence of much blessing?Will you share below?

True confession, I missed church this morning! I didn't set my alarm because if I sleep in on Sunday, that means like 8 am. Not today, I woke up at 9:46 am and church starts at 10 am. Instead of rushing to only arrive thirty minutes late was not an option. I require time in the morning, I love mornings yet I'm not quick about it.

I felt bad about missing church, especially since I had my clothes laid out to help a kiddo with his role in the Advent reading. I'm thankful to report, he did a great job and didn't need me. It's wonderful to see the kiddos growing up and shining in their own gifts and talents.

My church family is wonderful, my Secret Sister sent this trio of Minion ornaments to me via special messenger, aka a church friend stopping on his way home to deliver so my secret sister remains a secret until next month. Last month my secret sister gifts brought tears to my eyes and hope to my heart. Blessings to count.

My daughter and I watched "Prancer" since it started at ten when my coffee was finishing. Then at 12:36 pm I realized we were late a second time today. Yup, Mags was supposed to be backstage at 12:30 preparing for the 2 pm show. Ugh! I called and explained to the director we were on route. She chuckled and said she'd see us soon.

In spite of our late starts, it was a great day! Instead of getting cranky or beating myself up for my tardiness, I enjoyed the day. God knows my heart, and yours.

What is your heart's desire this Christmas?

Yesterday I had the privilege to spend the day with some of my school peeps, attending a conference in Warsaw, New York. We visited another elementary school and then spent time learning how to be leaders and inspire and motivate our students to be leaders. Thirteen hours from pulling out of my driveway yesterday morning, I arrived at my fathers to pick up my daughter and then head to the theater.

It was a busy fun filled day. In addition to all the learning, there was much laughter and catching up between friends that we might not see you throughout the year. ​The traveling back-and-forth was an inspirational blessing I had not expected. Sometimes God touches our heart when we aren't looking or expecting it. Yesterday was one of those days.

I went to bed early for a Friday night last night, and slept until 8 o'clock this morning. Both rarities in our house yet much-needed sleep in order to enjoy the weekend, and be a much friendlier person to live with.

To open the door this morning and see the ground covered in snow and light snow falling as if we were living in a snow globe brought a tear to my eyes. I took a deep breath and breathe then now first winter snow. It may have snow in October but that was just weird, and it still smelled like fall so it was not the same. Today,it is winter and Christmas is less than a week away.

The snow is so beautiful on the lights hitting the need the snow and just peeking through enough to give that little bit of glimmer inspires my heart. Who knows, maybe I'll even put up the Christmas tree now. Although my husband has to work, my daughter and I will join her friends for their annual tree trimming family party. I tradition they started decades ago and invited us to partake in probably a decade ago. It's a beautiful day, I look forward to going and then each time I think about going and watching them decorate the tree I fight back tears.

Tears of sorrow for missing my mom each and every day, checking in in the morning or checking in for lunch or at the end of the day our moments I miss. Yet as I reflect on an annual tradition with friends that started when our kids were tots and see how it is such a blessing today and this year, I'm reminded of how much God loves me. I have an amazing and wonderful family and enjoy them all so much, I have the added blessing of great friends.

​So on this note, it is time to celebrate Christmas and celebrate friends ​and make some memories. I hope you will do the same, Merry Christmas!

Good morning my faithful blogging family. Today's message is about "sparkle". True confession, Mom took my sparkle with hers this past September. I'm thankful for a rich bounty of family and friends around me yet even with God lighting the way, I can have difficulty finding my inner joy. I know this is normal so why do I beat myself up? I'm a silly human, that's why.

Awhile back I taught after school enrichment but it's been a few years. This fall when the opportunity presented itself again, I almost didn't submit a proposal. I wasn't "feeling" it but as I sat in my self pity, a friend's words of wisdom came to mind. "You can't trust feelings", this is true. Not only was my presentation approved, the past weeks teaching my students different styles of poetry, journaling, and free writing...I found my sparkle!

Their energy, excitement, and desire to learn more filled my heart and started the process to heal and move forward. I still miss my Mom more than I can express, yet spending time teaching hungry writers inspires me to write. I found my sparkle...maybe you'll see it shine in the Christmas lights?

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works,and glorify your Father which is in heaven" Matthew 5:16 NKJ

Hope your sparkle twinkles for all to see!

Remember to Wash the Backside Too

As I stood over the sink this morning catching up on dishes I found my self laughing out loud, you know, a real laugh, not just an LOL. Then as our daughter's kitten tilted her head at me I realized I'd cracked myself up and no one was there to enjoy it. But then again, since the only sound was clinking dishes and Christmas music, they'd probably think I was mad because the thoughts causing such laughter were in my head.

Are you wondering how stacks of dirty dishes and the importance of washing the bottom of these same dishes relates to Christmas? I hope so because at first I didn't think there was connection either until I stopped laughing and thought about how our lives are like the dirty dish in the center of the pile.

We have layers of dirt on us too and sometimes we rest in a layer or two of our past. Sadly, like the plates or bowls, sometimes we just rest in the sin or trouble. BUT, we aren't supposed to focus on, or live, in the muck. AND Jesus was born to save us from this vicious cycle too, a few decades later Jesus gave His life to rid us of the layers others may not see.

I'm happy to say, these photos aren't from my kitchen BUT lately, my counters seem to look like this more often. Those who know me might not believe it because I typically start my day by making coffee and then getting a few household tasks done so when I return home, it looks and smells clean. Lately though, the motivation to do dishes or "keep up" with the housework can be daunting, it not even a priority. GASP!

This is how dirty dishes and the importance of washing the backside relates to Christmas. Christmas is about new birth. The greatest of these births of course is Jesus. In life, we need to "wash" our layers of dirt, muck, and left overs off too. We shouldn't live in regret, unforgiveness, dwelling on the past, or grief. This list could go on and is different for each of us.

Why do you wash the under or backside of your dishes? To get rid of the waste and prevent illness. To rid ourselves of the baggage we often carry works the same way. Jesus was born on Christmas so that about three decades later He could die to free us from our sins and give us Eternal life, freedom, and healing. You love yourself and others enough to wash the backside of your dishes, now it's time to love yourself enough to let go of the hurts, troubles, and layers of muck you carry. I need to do this too. No one is perfect and we each have a struggle to wash away, Jesus is also the Great Dishwasher. Merry Christmas!

What a Happy Day when our sins are washed away...

​What is your LEAST favorite dish to wash the backside of?

​Don't let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.

Taylor Caldwell

It started with a order. Our daughter sold Christmas Wreaths as a fundraiser for CiTi this year. While I had no desire to hang such a joyful array on the front door, the love for my daughter and the joy to help support her and her goals...a couple wreaths were ordered. One for us and one for my Dad.

One day as I strolled through the store with no particular purpose and not a clear thought I saw the white Christmas lights. Before the wreath arrived, lights and garland were wrapped around the porch rails. It brightens the front lawn. The wreath and the gold butterflies finish the pretty picture of hope.

I'm glad I decorated a little, it looks nice and my mother would love to see the porch lit up. It was one of the first things she said earlier this Spring when Dad, Ed, and Scott built it, "It will look nice with lights on it at Christmas." Of course I rolled my eyes at the moment but now, each time I cross the threshold, memories of visiting with Mom while the men worked earlier this year fill my heart and mind.

What is the first Christmas decoration you put up and why?

Yesterday I started a blog-a-thon to Christmas, well that's just a fancy way of saying we are going to count down the days to Christmas. I'll be honest, the blogs may not interest you or even relate to where you are in life yet it's time I got back to blogging daily. It is something I miss and didn't realize it until talking with the director of my daughter's play this weekend. I have book ideas swirling and landing in the "Do Later File" of my brain so most will probably be lost forever. Others have made it to a sticky note, scrap piece of paper, or a napkin and tucked in my file for a inspired day of writing.

With ten days until most will gather around their tree surrounded by family or friends, I'm left to wonder, have I missed opportunities to encourage others during the holidays? Worse yet, i feels as if I haven't been as compassionate or caring friend as I should of been for my friends who have lost a parent in the past. There was a time I'd dwell on this for a year or two before realizing I can't change the past but I can be proactive to be a better friend in situations like this in the future. If you are one of those friends, I apologize.

While my Mom was in and out of the hospital this summer and then home with Hospice, I started gifting her these little turtles. They remind me of the Irish Worry Stone. Mom liked them because she could hold it and rub, as she got lost in thought or planned. They also glimmered on the window sill when the afternoon sun reflected off them. Each turtle has a different saying. As I waited at Wayne Crandall's in Oswego a couple times, I started to pick up these turtle gems for myself. I have two and they sit on my desk next to my computer. One says, "One day at a time", purchased a couple days after Mom passed and the other says, "Enjoy the journey." As I sat fighting back tears at the pharmacy one day I remembered the verse from James to be joyful in all situations, and if I needed help in the journey I only need call on God and find the joy.

Don’t run from tests and hardships, brothers and sisters. As difficult as they are, you will ultimately find joy in them; if you embrace them, your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure.And true patience brought on by endurance will equip you to complete the long journey and cross the finish line—mature, complete, and wanting nothing. If you don’t have all the wisdom needed for this journey,then all you have to do is ask God for it; and God will grant all that you need. ​He gives lavishly and never scolds you for asking."James 1:2-5 The VOICE

I don't claim to have joy 24/7 or a secret solution to grief but one thing I do know ~ when we are honest and trust all our trials, tribulations, and concerns to God in prayer...He is faithful to answer. And to help and encourage us along the way, we need to trust a few people with some of these concerns, if only for the shoulder to cry on with no words spoken. I'm thankful for a God, family, and friends that love me.

​Enjoy your journey and take one day at a time.

If you have lost a loved one, how did or do you honor their memory during the Christmas season?

An ornament, song, activity?

​Will you share in a post below?

This weekend was a busy and fabulous weekend. Friday evening I had the opportunity to be Mom as I helped out at the Oswego Children's Theater performance of The Velveteen Rabbit. This might be our daughter's last Christmas show as an actress with the children's theater yet it isn't the end of her theatrical performances. An exciting time in her life and in ours.

In addition to spending a couple days helping at the show, I practiced for a little Advent reading/skit at church for yesterday. The reading I was asked to do was Tamar, the innkeepers wife. Our church typically has asked one family to do the Advent reading and light the candle, this year, our pastor's wife, Terri, shared a new idea and invited volunteers to "act" out Advent from different perspectives. It has been a wonderful journey to Christmas.

​My favorite line in my part, "all the minions". I tried not to laugh but I still did, Terri didn't even realize it. Only God knew how reading that one line would brighten my spirit. Of course the monologue was talking about people traveling to Bethlehem for the census but I envisioned little yellow Minions on camels making the trek. Too funny.

The cherry on top of a great weekend was ending it with my Dad and his famous crock pot roast. A delicious dinner, kitchen table talk, and triggering memories as we went through some of Mom's clothes. Everything in time. I wasn't ready for this process yet yesterday's time brought me joy and peace.

​The sweater I'm wearing today is one I remember my Mom wearing when I was in college. Mags is preparing for college next year and this bright colored sweater brought an array of memories swirling in my mind. Memories shared at the kitchen table, one of the first Sunday evenings that felt "normal" since my Mom passed.

Tears and loss flood my heart and soul still yet something clicked this weekend. I don't know if it was the special time at the theater as Mom, the rocking worship at church, the kitchen table talk, helping Dad sort Mom's clothes, or our pastor's message but I do know Who ignited it.

​The Holy Spirit, the very same I practiced reading about all week for yesterday's Advent reading. For the first time since September 14th, 2015, I feel like I can do this. I don't like this change or new reality or journey BUT I do love my family and choose to celebrate life and make memories while "living". As I sat in the living room with my Bible on my lap late last night I could almost hear my Gram telling me, "If you are dying then go to the 'living' room." Choosing to live life to the fullest.

Merry Christmas...The countdown continues tomorrow, see you then!​What piece of clothing triggers a memory and why?

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