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Henry, I Think She’s Dead and We Were Gypped.

Took another nap in the car today. I think it’s my 6th one in the past two months. Darling Husband thinks it’s weird and sighs and shakes his head whenever I tell him about my naps. I told him that people take naps in their car at work all the time. He said, “At work, yes. In someone’s neighborhood, no.”

He might be on to something. When I woke from my nap and popped up in the seat, a woman who had been waiting in her yard zipped over to my car and said, “What are you doing?” “Taking a nap.” “But…what are you doing?” “Taking a nap!” She probably thinks I’m a homeless woman. I should have asked her for gas money or a sandwich.

Here’s a picture of what I look like napping in the car.

I look like a dead body. She was probably considering whether or not to call the cops. But even though I’m the Dead Homeless Napper, scaring the neighbors, I don’t think I can give up my car naps anytime soon. It’s so warm and cozy and there are no kids to pester me.

Anyway, the lesson learned today is to take the mini-van for my naps, and not the car. That way I can sleep in the back with the tinted windows and no one will know I’m there.

Another lesson learned is not to wear my new higher-than-is-reasonable heels on the same day I teach the little kids at church. That was a dumb idea. You have to be able to run when you teach the preschoolers. If you can’t they’ll take you down like a pack of hyenas.

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I’m writing and posting this early because I’m taking Boy9 to hear a comedian tonight and I don’t think I’ll be home before 11-ish. It’s clean humor, so it’s safe for kids. Not like my friend, Rob, who does stand-up comedy. I’ve never heard Rob’s stand up, unless you count jabbering around a dinner table. When I mentioned to his wife, “Hey, maybe I should come and hear Rob,” she only said, “Oh, it’s really offensive…”

Sometimes I think she gets a little nervous when we’re all together; her evangelical Christian friends and her atheist husband. Who’s going to end up offending whom the most? Every now and then I can tell from the slight pause, that Rob is finding a different word to use. ‘Oh…fuuuuu…dge.” Thanks for the effort Rob. Very gentlemanly of you.

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My moon pictures from last night turned out only so-so. The moon was really, really boring and didn’t look bigger at all. What a gyp! And Melissa got a tick in her hair. (Shudder.) And then we got kicked off the battlefield at 10:45. The Battlefield closes at 10:00. Oops.

And that’s my wild and crazy life. Naps in the car, fending off preschoolers and getting kicked off of battlefields.

6 thoughts on “Henry, I Think She’s Dead and We Were Gypped.”

Taking a nap in your car. Not so strange. I used to do that on my way home from work on Rt.15.
We sometimes sit in our car for a while (can I get you something to drink, a while) to get to a good spot in a book on Cd to pause, before going in the house. At times up to almost an hour. The neighbors don’t even take notice any more.
Plus, I’ve seen the moon bigger than that last night.

Exactly! Not so strange at all. Next time I take a nap, I’ll park in front of your house. Just don’t bother me until I come out from under my jacket.

And I saw a bigger moon tonight, just a few minutes ago. I got onto 97 from 15 and there was a big glowy “thing” in the sky and I thought, “Is that some sort of promotional lit up balloon? Are there really aliens after all?” and then I realized it was the MOON. It was huge. Last night’s was puny-looking.