The Dispatch E-Edition

All current subscribers have full access to Digital D, which includes the E-Edition and
unlimited premium content on Dispatch.com, BuckeyeXtra.com, BlueJacketsXtra.com and
DispatchPolitics.com.
Subscribe
today!

Dear Abby: I have been widowed for five years. I have a close friend, “Louise,”
who was also close to my late husband. She promised him on his deathbed she would “take care of me”
when he was gone.

Well, she has taken it to the extreme. She became very controlling and didn’t want me doing
anything without her. I went along with it to keep the peace until about a year ago, when I met a
wonderful man I’ll call “Bill.”

Bill recently moved into my home.

Louise says he has no right to live with me here because my husband had the house built, and I
have no right to let anyone else stay here.

She refuses to visit. People have repeated to me some of the awful things she has called Bill.
We have had many arguments over the hurtful things she has said to me.

Bill feels bad about the situation. He hasn’t said or done anything to deserve the treatment
that Louise is dishing out and has encouraged me to try to work it out.

Any advice on how to handle this stressful situation?

— Widow in Salem, N.J.

Dear Widow: Yes. Stop trying to appease Louise.

She has gone beyond “taking care of you” and is trying to dictate the way you live your
life.

Bill means well, but you have already tried to get Louise to accept the situation. Because she
refuses, perhaps it is time to move on.

Dear Abby: I’m in a bind when it comes to hostess gifts. I know nothing about wine
and am not much interested in learning because most of my friends and I don’t drink. I am also
allergic to flowers and perfumes, so I would never give anyone flowers, soaps or candles, because
if I did I would have to leave the party early.

This leaves me confused as to what is appropriate.

Could I give a nice jar of high-quality spice, or are there better options?

— In the Dark About Hostess Gifts

Dear in the Dark: A box of assorted chocolates might be nice, if your hosts enjoy
sweets. Matching small- and medium-sized picture frames, or a box of note cards and matching
envelopes also make thoughtful gifts.

Unless you are certain that the spice you select is one your hosts might use, however, I don’t
recommend it as a house gift.