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Author
Topic: Insecure in the Relationship (Read 1831 times)

So I have recently been diagnosed as HIV +, I have been in a relationship with this guy for about 1.5 years now. Everything was going good, of course the ups and downs of a normal relationship. I told him about my status about 2 months ago and of course his initial reaction was expected, he was angry, shocked, sad. I pushed him away for a bit since when he would call me he was always very mean to me and I didn't want to deal with that. We probably went about 3 weeks without having much communication as when we would it would just not end up in a good way, it was understood that he would go his way and I would go my way after this.

Until one weekend I asked him if he wanted to go out and handle some errands with me which he agreed to, it was pretty awkward as our interaction was not the same as it has always been there was some uneasiness from his part and my part. After all was said and done we hung out together for the entire weekend and just talked about everything. Once the weekend was done I guess we both started thinking that what we had was a good thing and you think of that quote that said "You never know how good something is until its gone" so after that weekend we started communicating some more and that's when he said he would like to keep on with what we had but of course we would have to talk in details about it. So anyway we talked about it and here we are still together.

The one thing about all this is we have not had sex as we usually had prior to all this and that is what concerns me. I know its going to take some time for him to feel comfortable again to have sex as we were before I always have this thought and feeling in the back of my head that he may go out and get it elsewhere or end up meetting someone else and in the end il will end up being hurt.

I know there are some people out there that have gone though this and are going through it as we speak and would like to get your thoughts on this. I mean should i really be concern or could i just be overthinking,the situation, what would be the ideal time to wait? I mean I don't just want to have a platonic relationship with someone where we will just kiss and cuddle and not get into the sexual intercourse which i know we both need and want.

I've moved your thread from the Someone I Care About forum into the Living forum. The forum you originally posted in is more for people who are hiv negative but have some sort of close relationship with someone who is positive.

There are plenty of poz/neg relationships out there and the main thing you need to do is to use condoms for intercourse. Read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them with confidence.

Has your bf been tested? If he hasn't tested and tested recently, at least three month past his last incident of unprotected intercourse, for all you know he may be positive too and not know it.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts