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When you see these curvy, almost calligraphic signatures they often belong to musicians, sportsmen, CEOs, i.e. people who write their signature often. Maybe deliberate training could help?

I had the problem of a generic signature, too. I found the interim solution of writing my name in Sütterlin or a similar outdated cursive script. That made it unique. Now I just need to get it consistent.

I used to be a master at texting super fast while walking, because I never had to look at my phone's keyboard. Now I have a touchscreen phone and I have to completely stop what I'm doing to send a text, and it takes FOREVER. :(

I look like a stroke victim when I try to wink. I can't close one eye without scrunching my eyebrow down, cheek up, and opening my mouth to one side (essentially attempting to close one eye with my whole face). I try to balance this maneuver out with a tongue click and double finger guns...

I'm 22 and still can't. I tell this to people who then reply "yea you can, it's easy". This aggrivates me so I respond with "Your right, I have tried it hundreds of times hundreds of ways, but because you now say I can, I can."
Needless to say, I still cannot whistle.

OK, now pause. Now, very slowly go through the motions of making a "RA" sound. Do this slowly, do it a couple times. "RA RA RA". Pay close attention to the position of your tongue when making the "RA" sound when it is closest to the roof of your mouth. Notice how when you say the "LA" sounds your tongue sort of bends upwards and when you say the "RA" sounds your tongue sort of bends forwards, if that makes sense.

Now, get ready for this part. You are going to say "RA RA RA" but this time you are going to do it fairly quick, and you are going to touch the roof of your mouth with your tongue when you do it. Keep saying "RA RA RA" over and over and making a conscious effort to just tap the roof of your mouth with your tongue. Eventually you should get the hang of this.

So far so good, you're like 90% there. Now, practice breathing out by saying "HA HA HA" repeatedly. If you can, practice saying "RA" then keep your mouth in the same general position and then practice saying "HA"s.

This is the tricky part. Say the "RA" where you bounce your tongue off the roof of your mouth, but combine it with breathing out. Then try to keep your tongue lightly against the roof of your mouth longer. Eventually you should be able to get your tongue to bounce against the roof of your mouth repeatedly when you exhale. This is a rolled r, spanish mode unlocked.

Socialize. I'm not socially awkward (I think), but at parties, I can't just sidle over to a group and insert myself into a conversation. Feels so strange. I mean, if I see someone do that to me, I make sure to involve them by making room for them and making eye contact and such, but if I'm on the other end? Nope.

As soon as you walk in, start talking to that guy who's just kinda standing around. Chick kind of off to the side. Duo of dudes just standing. There is always one of the three. Start talking the SHIT out of him/her/them. This gets you talking, and getting started is the hard part. Include other people in the conversation as they saunter by. Also bonus, this group is your IN to other conversations as they know people you don't, just sort of ask them something related to what you were talking about. This is the easiest way to enter other conversation rings - get your mole deep cover.

Don't think too hard about what you're saying. I've started conversations with fucking stupid lines. But it gets you in. And if they laugh, even better. Especially if there is drinking. No one is gonna fucking remember the start of the conversation. No one want to discuss the socio-economic consequences of income disparity right away, why should we feel the need to come up with something as interesting as an intro line?

I'm apparently a very good conversationalist. Small groups, I'm good. It's just when I have to mingle. In a party situation, I'm just more apt to start a conversation with some people and cling to them to the bitter end.

Oh holy hell.
How can coupling up be so hard when all around me, self-centered idiots are breaking up from 2-year relationships and find new, lovely partners willing to commit within the week? How do they do it, how?

Most everyone finds someone. You should probably just pursue the activities you're interested in more of a group setting. Maybe you'll find the partner of your dreams at your yoga class, or the next comic convention you go to, or in your community orchestra. You need to meet people before you can meet your special someone, and so it helps if you engage in activities where you can meet like-minded people.

You are not alone! I am physically incapable of burping as well. Apparently there are muscles in there that I have absolutely no control or even awareness of. I found a message board once devoted to us non-burpers, the theory is we've got some neurological impairment.

Starting a conversation/talking to somebody I don't know (especially females).

I have a friend who basically will talk to anybody in our college lectures and I don't know how he does it. Every day he says he met person X in our orgo lecture, or he is texting this cute girl and is trying to set up a "study session" with her. I don't know how some people can go from now knowing a person to asking them for their number and texting them in a matter of minutes, but I witness it all the time and i'm amazed every time.

Adapt and cope. Today is my birthday and I had to get up and leave a university lecture because I was having a panic attack. I feel malformed and partially destroyed but everyone else seems so collected and together on the outside.

Bummer right?

*edit. Today went better. Thanks guys and gals, means a lot that you'd take the time to send me comments and messages.

Other people are crazy too. When I was really bad this past year I just looked around and wondered how everyone else in the world could be so calm and I've never seen someone as wrecked I was. Then I realized that it couldn't possibly be the case, I just must have never seen it before. Hang in there!

Play pool. I have tried and tried, but I am just no good. By no good, I mean that I can't even get two of the balls to touch each other. Most of the time, I am lucky that I even make contact with the cue ball. Seriously.

Edit: Thanks to everyone for the advice, especially those who described how to visualize it (check out IRageAlot's in depth description, good way to think about it). I have pretty much given up trying to learn. I am 31 and this has been going on since I was 16. :( Maybe one day it will click...I am not terribly hopeful. But, I am wicked good at bar trivia! So, I won't be totally bored.

Every place that I've applied to has rejected me, which I think is because I don't know how to run a cash register and that I was fired from my last job for "low job performance" (read: needed space for more people).

My state has, as of last report, 83% unemployment for my age group. I've made a spreadsheet of all of my applications handed in, who the manager is, who I gave the application to, when, and where. 143 applications, one interview, no jobs.

I used to get really annoyed and then be really late on purpose to these particular friends (I'd still get there before them though...), but on the rare instance that they are waiting for me, it ends up that they're not bothered by it at all since it's just as important like it is for me. Once I got that through my head that we have a different set of priorities, I chilled out a lot. This also coincided with us growing up some more, so a lot of them actually became more punctual with time, while I got more lax. Now we're more or less on time, with a half hour, 45 min window that's forgivable.

Also helps that we live in a city that relies on public transportation so a lot of the time it's just not our fault.

Estimate how long it'll take you to arrive somewhere, double that, and leave using that as your working travel time. The key here is to be self-disciplined about leaving in accordance with your doubled estimate

The trick is to think of the clutch as a gas pedal in reverse. You can push it down as fast as you want, but when you lift off, do it as gingerly as you would treat the gas pedal (this example does not work for people with lead feet).

Another trick is to get the car rolling with just the clutch. This will teach you how sensitive the clutch is to movement, since every car is different.

Throw a ball... I just never learned as a kid. I took sports but they always seemed to assume that little boys already knew how to throw, so never taught it (and I was too shy/naive to speak up about it).

I'm 31 and can throw a baseball like 25 feet while looking like a toolbox.

Holy Christ I'm not alone. I can swallow entire raviolis whole, guzzle drinks in no time flat, I even used to competitively eat. What's that? 30mg tablet you need to take 5 times daily for the next few months? Lemme just close up so tight a battering ram couldn't descend into your gullet. It's embarrassing as hell being a 20 year old sitting in a doctor's office asking if I can get that medication in liquid form because I can't swallow pills.

Swim. I never learned how to swim, which is unfortunate. It's a great exercise, and could save my life if I ever fall into an open body of water. It would have been most beneficial to learn as a kid, but you know how over-protective some parents can be.

Poop normally. I'm either in there for days at a time or 15 times daily. Eating fiber, yogurt and salads exacerbates the problem. If I eat junk food, red meat and sugar, it seems to normalize. Every bit if diet advice I have ever received is worthless.

I don't understand why either side feels the need to clean the other, i.e. sports fans saying guys who don't like sports aren't "manly" and those who consider liking sports beneath them, almost as if you'd have to be of lesser intelligence to enjoy them.

Blow a fucking bubble with bubble gum. Seriously, I feel like an idiot. I must have the stupidest, fattest, most non-dexterous tongue in the entire world. People do that shit so effortlessly and here I am, taking the gum out of my mouth and spreading it out wide like a 4 year old, then putting it BACK in my mouth so I can now blow a bubble. And after all that I still can't do it.

I think classical conditioning may help with this. Find some good porn. Whack off to it. Right when you finish, tab to another window with a picture of an iPhone. Now stroke it out and clean up. Repeat this 5 times a day for 5 days. Take a day rest, then repeat until you can flip the the photo earlier and earlier.

When you start to get an erection when you hear peoples iPhones ringing in public, get your debit card and head to the apple store. Your penis will handle the rest.