Customer: “My goodness, this line is crazy! I’ve been in line ten minutes already! Why aren’t there more employees assisting us? Who is the manager here?”

Me: “Sir, I apologize for the delay. Due to the snow, I’ve had multiple employees call in saying they are unable to safely come to work this morning.”

Customer: “Well, that is just ridiculous! So an employee can decide that they don’t have to show up for work?”

Me: “If an employee feels they cannot safely report to work during severe weather conditions, we ask that they make their personal safety their primary concern.”

Customer: “Must be nice! You can just call and pretend to be concerned for your personal safety and then just take the day off? Makes you wonder what you people would do if you ever got a real job! It’s a good thing this isn’t making me late for my job today.”

(I seize on the opportunity and try to change the subject.)

Me: “Yes, I notice you’re in rather later than normal this morning. Are you on vacation?”

Customer: “No! I have the day off! My office is closed!”

Me: “Oh, how nice! Any particular reason you are closed today?”

Customer: “Duh, the snow! Maybe you’ve noticed it? Are you blind or just stupid?!”