Evil US Government Agencies?

This is a part of the lost articles I wrote on GeoCities in 2003 (Yes, it’s been fifteen years!). Those were the times when I had nothing else better to do. Unfortunately, I can’t find the original articles no matter how hard I searched through my old files. My page was also not archived by archiving sites like the Internet Archive and other GeoCities archiving sites when Yahoo! discontinued GeoCities in 2009.

The articles were mostly satires addressed to those absurd conspiracy theories that involve numbers. The topics covered include the number of the beast, Illuminati, pi, the 2012 phenomenon, numerology, etc. It amused me that no one seemed to notice that they were just satires and both believers and skeptics alike took them too seriously.

Those articles also went viral during that time and it received a very large number of comments without the help of Facebook and Twitter.

Although there’s no way to reconstruct those articles today, I’ll try to write some parts of them that I can remember. Now, I can write them in a more “normal” manner since when I wrote the original articles, they contained so many words in all caps such as “WAKE UP AND SEE THROUGH THE LIES THAT THEY HAVE WEAVED AROUND US!” or “THIS IS NOT A COINCIDENCE, OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE!!”.

I’ll write more posts in the future regarding the contents of the lost articles once I remembered more of what I have written back then and perhaps, I’ll name those posts as “The Lost Articles Series”.

So, without further ado, here it is.

We always hear people accuse some US government agencies of betrayal of public trust, conducting morally questionable activities, conspiracies, cover-ups, and other similar shenanigans. Some of the most notorious alphabet agencies that would come in many people’s minds are the CIA, FBI, IRS, and NASA. CIA and FBI are self-explanatory since these two esteemed agencies have been involved in several great controversies. As for IRS, tax departments can be very troublesome anywhere in the world, thus, it’s understandable. Finally, some people claimed that NASA is continuously covering up the existence of extraterrestrial life, hence, they are also not trustworthy in a way.

So, you may wonder why I’m talking about this. Well, I’ll try to use a secret numerological technique called Gematria to test the evilness of the above-mentioned US government agencies. In this secret technique, every letter of the alphabet has an equivalent number. There are different types of Gematria but in this case, we will use the “Ordinal Gematria”. In this system, A = 6,B = 12, C = 18 … Z = 156. Here’s the list of every letter of the English alphabet and its corresponding numerical value:

Now, substitute the letters of the four US government agencies (CIA, FBI, IRS and NASA) with the magic numbers on the table above and add up the numbers of each agency to determine its “evilness variable”.

CIA = 18 + 54 + 6 = 78

FBI = 36 + 12 + 54 = 102

IRS = 54 + 108 +114 = 276

NASA = 84 + 6 + 114 + 6 = 210

Then add up these four numbers or the evilness variables together to calculate their “evilness index” and to find how close their index is to the “evilness constant” which is equal to 666.

210 + 78 + 102 + 276 = 666

The answer is 666. Therefore, it means that those four government agencies’ evilness index is exactly the same as the evilness constant!

What does that really mean? 😛 Share your thoughts on the comments section below.

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My name Edmark M. Law. I work as a freelance writer, mainly writing about science and mathematics. I am an ardent hobbyist. I like to read, solve puzzles, play chess, make origami and play basketball. In addition, I dabble in magic, particularly card magic and other sleight-of-hand type magic. I live in Hong Kong.
You can find me on Twitter` and Facebook. My email is edmarklaw@learnfunfacts.com

Geocities, eh? I had my very first blog on there and I don’t even remember than name of it! As for numerology, symbology, gematria and other systems that use number to prove whatever, I think waayyy too many people take this stuff waaaayyy too seriously! As for “conspiracy theories,” I don’t buy into them until they have been proven to be factual, by eyewitness account, and whistleblowing efforts. As for the CIA making up the “conspiracy theory” meme, I don’t really trust them either. George Criles, who wrote “Charlie Wilson’s War” (the book, that is…the movie is just a shadow of the book), goes on to expose what many believe (and apparently Criles as well) led t0 9-11.

The burden of proof lies on those who make the claims and conspiracy theorists are usually not good at arguing their claims and presenting their evidences. Even if we can’t disprove their claims, it does not make those claims factual. Hand waving alone doesn’t prove anything.

Have you ever checked into letter symbols? We did that one time and there were some interesting results concerning lobbying groups and their expenditures. Interesting stuff although some believable and some not like most code.

Yes, I remember reading that many years ago. I even took note of this passage:

With numbers you can do anything you like. Suppose I have the sacred number 9 and I want to get a number 1314, date of the execution of Jaques de Molay – a date dear to anyone who, like me, professes devotion ot the Templar tradition of knighthood. What do I do? I multiply 9 by one hundred and forty-six, the fateful day of the destruction of Carthage. How did I arrive at this? I divided thirteen hundred and fourteen by two, three, et cetera, until I found a satisfying date. I could also have divided thirteen hundred and fourteen by 6.28, the double of 3.14 and I would have got two hundred and nine. That is the year Attulus I, king of Pergamon, ascended the throne. You see?

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Learn Fun Facts is an archive of curious facts for the curious. I write on a variety of subjects, including mathematics, science, technology, language, history, literature, art and anything in between.