How Do You Solve A Problem Like Macedonia?

Macedonia wants to join NATO, but it can’t unless it changes its name. You see, existing NATO member Greece also has a province called “Macedonia,” and it doesn’t want anyone to get confused. Last month a U.N. special negotiator put forward a list of five names that Macedonia might want to consider, but the country turned up its nose in horrified disgust. What were these terrible alternate names?

“Constitutional Republic of Macedonia, Democratic Republic of Macedonia, Independent Republic of Macedonia, New Republic of Macedonia, and Republic of Upper Macedonia.”

No wonder they didn’t bite. Macedonia needs a new and exciting name, like “Barack Obama.” And now time is running out on the beleaguered Balkan country because the NATO summit us under way, as we speak!