I had to use the public restroom again today. While I was sitting there, three people came in to use the urinal and all three of them - ALL THREE I TELL YOU - made a low, disturbingly guttural, almost orgasmic sound; not a regular orgasm but a hushed, shameful one. Shameful like when you're being blown by a slow-witted girl with a lazy eye who, during the summer of 1987, worked at the Burger King across the street from the Kentucky State Fairgrounds. Oh...forget I said that.

Back to that sound: It's not one I've ever made while taking a piss. Urinating doesn't do that much for me; I just stand there in silence. What am I doing wrong? Think of all the peeing pleasure I could have experienced had I known what they know.Maybe those three guys are members of a freestyle uringasm club and they're having their convention in Las Vegas. I hesitate to think about the initiation.

What those guys experienced was the OBS" overloaded bladder syndrome or the WIJTMS " wow I just touched myself syndrome". During dry spells when I not in action sexually this has happened and it has also happened after drinking way too many bottles of gatoraide.