BEST TATTOO INTERPRETER (2006)

Tian Tang

Tian Tang, a Chinese-born student at ASU's engineering school, has devoted his Web site, www.hanzismatter.com, to explaining to dumb Westerners exactly what the Chinese characters etched on their backs, arms, and ankles are saying. In many cases, it isn't pretty: One tattoo that ostensibly read "mommy," according to Tang, is really "female horse rice." Another, he wrote, appears to say "fuck you." Whoops. "I'm very surprised a lot of times that people will e-mail me about their tattoos, and they never found out the real meaning before they got it," Tang told the New York Times in April. Now that you've read this, you have no excuse not to send that e-mail before making it permanent.