atthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson may have struck box office gold with the romantic comedy “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” but just because you’ve done something once doesn’t make it any easier the second time around. Many thought that pairing the two gorgeous actors would ensure a similar result, but the duo’s lack of any onscreen chemistry pretty much sinks that ship well before the credits roll. It’s only one of several problems plaguing this “Into the Blue” copycat – the worst of them being that anyone would ever consider replicating such a shitty movie in the first place.

McConaughey stars as Ben “Finn” Finnegan, a treasure hunter obsessed with finding the legendary Queen’s Dowry, a Spanish gold and jewel cache lost at sea in the early 1700s. It’s a treasure he’s been tracking with his wife Tess (Kate Hudson) for eight years, but when the latter files for divorce, the adventure appears to be finally over. That is, until Finn discovers that billionaire Nigel Honeycutt (Donald Sutherland) is scheduled to arrive in Key West to join his tabloid-cover daughter Gemma (Alexis Dziena) for a two-week vacation on his yacht. Confident that he can convince Honeycutt to finance his quest, Finn finds a way onto his boat, only to discover that Tess is already there working as the yacht’s head steward. Joining forces for the sake of history (and treasure, of course), Finn and Tess lead the way to the underwater goldmine, but they’re not alone. Hot on their trail is Finn’s former mentor, Moe Fitch (Ray Winstone), who’s been hired by local gangster Bigg Bunny (Kevin Hart) to track down the very same treasure.

If that doesn’t sound like “Into the Blue,” well, you’ve probably never seen the film. Nearly every character is the same (from McConaughey’s bum hero to Winstone’s mentor-turned-villain), and it’s a surprise it ever made it past conception. McConaughey, no matter how charming he may be, delivers one of the worst performances of his life, while Hudson just sort of floats around like flotsam after a bad storm. It’s as if she knew the script wasn’t very good, but signed on anyway based on the aggressive “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” marketing ploy that is hell-bent on convincing teenage girls that “Fool’s Gold” is the same movie… just with, you know, treasure. The addition of Donald Sutherland and Ray Winstone does little to save the movie. In fact, between the veteran actor making a complete fool of himself in the name of a paycheck, and Winstone attempting one of the worst Southern accents I’ve ever heard, it only makes the experience that much worse.

For what’s supposed to be an action comedy, there’s very little of either throughout the film’s bloated 114-minute runtime. Instead, the movie is mostly fluff, with one massive scene in the middle explaining just about everything the audience needs to know about the Queen’s Dowry. It’s so long and monotonous that I nearly fell asleep, and yet it’s the only sign of actual plot development throughout the entire film. This isn’t “The Da Vinci Code,” folks, it’s Pirates Gone Wild, and any movie that needs that much exposition is taking itself too seriously.