If I can stand being with myself, eventually I’ll find someone else who can put up with my smart-ass remarks, random dance attacks, vain mirror checking rituals & my penchant for doing cartwheels & handstands in my apartment (just to prove that I still can do it).

For starters I could have:
– Got laid at 2 in the morning
– Made cupcakes with a sweet yet complicated girl
– Gone to a Superbowl party
– Been miserable alone

But I did none of those things & I’m perfectly fine with that for some inexplicable reason (shh, I’m the most well adjusted person on the face of the planet).

I’m sure I left a few other tidbits out, but it’s Superbowl Sunday (and I really don’t care).

Guys, do you want to look sexy and get the girl? Don’t smile too much. Look brooding or show a bit of shame instead. Women are attracted to guys like James Dean, Dean & Sam Winchester or Edward the “Twilight” vampire. The guys who are flawed, but who know it and are tortured by it. I know this to be true lol.

Being content seems to be a temporary phase at times, a place holder for something more, something certain and definable. Emotions don’t need reason, all they need is fuel and something to aim for.
Emotions never truly die, they just come back in another form & give birth to another reaction. When you feel something strong do you ever wonder “Is this the end or just the beginning? Where did this come from?”

Earlier today I said to someone, “Love is comforting, but it isn’t always convenient.”

As usual I didn’t think about what that meant for me or where that line even came from. And now here I am wide awake and receptive to the possibility that I might finally have found something or someone to be truly happy about, if only I’d take the plunge (that’s a marriage term, I realize that and NO I’m not proposing!). I want someone to love me for who I am. I can’t explain everything right now, but I’ve decided that I can’t leave this lingering question hanging over my head.

“Don’t forget the truth; it’s always a good starting point.”

I haven’t felt even an inkling to write from since late November and in the last few days I’ve had a flood of passion, direction and questions that weren’t content with simply remaining in my head. So here I am feverishly writing again while hanging on for dear life.

On the verge of another unsuspecting sunrise, I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but as long as I have something to believe in and someone to hold, I’ll be more than fine.

It’s good to be back. Thank you for joining me & thank you for letting me into your life.