TUM BIN (Swasan OS)

This is my first OS on SwaSan. Thank You people for showing immense love to my stories and my page. This is a treat for my readers and commenters on the completion of 1k likes on my FB page: Swaragini Fictional Stories.

No proof read.

Let’s begin..

**Tum Bin** (English Translation: Without you)

**

“Sanskar please! I can’t do this. How can you ever think about this? I can’t play with everyone’s feelings. I can’t insult Shekhar papa. I can’t insult those values my mom has put on me and love you. I know I have done a mistake and this marriage I’m doing is to rectify that mistake which I have done. You know when dad left us and this world we were alone. Mom and me were left with no one. I became an orphan but Shekhar papa was like an angel to us, he came and filled colours to our lives. I still remember mom crying late nights remembering dad and his memories but she still didn’t marry anyone, for me. She thought, what if she forgot her duties towards me? What if the man didn’t love me as a daughter? She thought about me and this is why I’m here now. After mom left Shekhar papa never made me feel an orphan. He filled the place of my mom. He was always there for me, for us!!.. And today when he’s asking for such a small thing, when he’s asking me to marry Laksh, I can do that for him isn’t it” Swara wiped her tears and stood up.

“Swara I know you’re doing this for Shekhar papa. I know you’re indebted to him but why are you punishing me? Why are you punishing me by marrying Laksh? You know how much I love you” he shook her “Don’t you? Then how can you do this to me? Please Swara, I love you with all my heart. Please don’t do this to me” he begged.

“Sanskar, it’s tough for me too. Why don’t you understand? And about marrying you? Why should I marry a person who’s already married? You know this was my biggest sin, that even after knowing that you are married I loved you. I am feeling angry on myself. I feel like I’m being a homewrecker and I don’t want to be. I did a mistake and I won’t continue it. I don’t want to prove my values wrong. I don’t want people to blame my values which I have inherited from Mom. I don’t want people to blame mom for my doings. Please leave, please!” she cried again.

Sanskar was left heart broken. He couldn’t utter a word. His whole world felt apart when Swara denied to marry him. He knows what he did was wrong. But what he felt for Swara was very contradictory to his feelings towards his wife. Sanskar with no other option went from there. He cried the entire night sitting on the steps of the temple.

Sanskar keeps on crying the entire night. He recalls Swara’s words “If ever our love was true, will meet again and if our souls could never forget each other, we will be together no matter we die or live”

He finally heads home, lost in his own world. He recalls their moments together and cries aloud sitting in the middle of the road.

Next morning, Sanskar walks home and looks around when someone suddenly hugs his legs. He looks down and smiles.

“Where were you papa, the entire night? You know I was waiting for you” Sparsh speaks.

“Really? My chota sa Sparsh baby was waiting for me?” Sanskar asks as he picks Sparsh in his arms and kisses his cheeks “I was busy, I had some work”

“Yes! Yes! I know what work your father has” Ragini walks down the stairs “So Sanskar what’s your next move to destroy me? Are you planning something again?”

“Ragini.. Don’t accuse me all the time. I didn’t do anything and I’ll never do. I’m not like you” he looks towards Sparsh and signs him to go to his room “At least think before you speak Ragini. Can’t you see Sparsh was here. Our talks may affect him”

“So you I shouldn’t talk to you like this. I know about you Sanskar, you are jealous of me and my position in the society. I know you’re jealous of my reputation that I have, and you don’t”

“Oh just shut up! What reputation you have is because of me. You can’t even gather a penny of that reputation and status you boost about. Your excessive self-esteem will put you down and then you’ll understand that status, power and money are not everything”

“Oh really? Is it? Then why are you so broken today? Why aren’t you happy like you used to be five years before, when we married. You know why? Because you are selfish, jealous of me and I challenge you, I’ll make you understand that money, power and status all these things are important when you’re in a society. These matters the most!! You have no reputation and that doesn’t means we too don’t have. At least for Sparsh and my sake don’t be in these shabby clothes. You are looking like a drunkard. Did anyone see you when you came from there? Where did you sleep the entire night? In roads or somewhere in a slum?”

“Ragini it will be better if you don’t speak about Sparsh. What have you ever done for him? Besides giving birth? It’s me who’s always with him. You’re always busy in your kitty parties and other stuffs. So you better don’t interfere Sparsh in this matter” he warned her showing his index finger.

She lowered his finger with hers “So you think I’m not a good mother? You think I don’t love him? He’s my son and I do love him” she pointed herself “and for me my reputation is the most important. Those parties aren’t useless. You are just jealous of me Sanskar. You don’t want me to be happy. You are never satisfied. I’m here, we are here because of these people, because of….. ”

“No no we aren’t here because of these people” he speaks “We are here because your father has been continuously spending money on your stupid expenses and showering money showing that I can’t do anything for myself, my kid and my wife. He has been showing off and now after my business had fallen he has got a new topic to taunt me and put me down”

“My father has lots of work to do Mr. Maheshwari. He’s not free like you. He’s the top most business tycoon and he doesn’t have so much time like you do. He’s not like you and whatever he’s doing is for his one and only daughter. He loves me and he’s doing so. What’s wrong in that? Go be busy with your girlfriend, only she can tolerate you” Sanskar moves out as he’s in no mood to listen her rubbish.

“Did she leave you, too?” Sanskar’s eyes become moist and Ragini chuckles at his condition “Who will want to be with a loser? No one can tolerate you except me”

Sanskar goes to his room and slides down, closing the door. He cries and reminses Swara, how she used to be with him always, supporting and helping him. She was his psychologist, a good friend and a lovely soul mate. It’s been 5 years he married Ragini but he never found that closeness and love for him in her eyes. She was always busy in herself. She had no time for him. Sanskar’s marraige was like fog that existed from far but when we come near it, it vanishes. Swara came to him when he was highly depressed due to ups and downs in business.

One of his friends asked him to meet Swara Roy and there she was sitting with big spectacles, covering her hazel doe eyes. He appreciated her looks and as time passed both were in love. Swara knew about Sanskar being married and only Sanskar knew how much time went convincing her for this relationship. She was adamant to make her heart stone and not to fall for him but then she had already fallen in the spell of love!!.. How much she tried to control herself but Sanskar made it tough for her, his growing proximity, his love his care made it hard to control herself and at last she gave in.

**Flashback starts**

“Okay, so you don’t love me?” Sanskar asks.

“No” Swara turns her face.

“Are you sure?”

“Damn sure” Sanskar comes closer and she steps back.

“Sure?”

“Yes!” Sanskar keeps coming closer till she hits the wall.

“Swara, don’t lie” he says softly and tucks her hair back.

“I… I.. I’m not lying” she fumbles with his closeness.

“Really?” he encircles his arms around her waist and holds it tight.

He comes closer and rubs his thumb on her lips. He keeps moving and stops suddenly as he claims them. Sanskar kisses her showering all his love and care for her and she participates in by kissing him back, her hands travelling down his back and coming up again to caress his hairs and pull himself more on her. Sanskar’s mouth travels down to hers and their tongues entwined.

“I love you” he says as he moves back, coming out of the kiss still holding her in his arms, protectively.

“I love you too” Swara says and looks down “But Sanskar we both know this isn’t correct. You are married, moreover you have a child. Do you think this relationship is going to work? I don’t think so. I know you never fell in love with Ragini, you both don’t have anything between but what about the little 3 year old Sparsh? He loves you. You’re his strength, his guardian and his parent. Ragini never looks after him and he depends on you. I don’t think we should…”

“Do you believe me? Do you trust me?” she nods yes “Then that’s enough! Sparsh will also be okay with it. I don’t think he’ll have any problem with two mothers by his side and I know Swara, you’ll be the best mother” he assures and hugs her.

“Why do you think so?”

“Because I have seen your care and love towards me these six months and I am sure you will be the best wife, best soul mate and an excellent mother” he pecks her lips and she hides herself in his chest.

“Keep loving me Sanskar, like this, always!!”

**Flashback ends**

Two years later, everything is same as it used to be two years before!!.. Swara is married but she isn’t happy. She had found her soul mate long ago and isn’t ready to fall in love with Laksh. Laksh Bose, a strong head, harsh person for him his wife is just a trophy. He doesn’t love her but considers her as a use and throw material. Whenever he feels like he uses her and whenever he doesn’t feel like he throws her out. Swara wanted to continue her job after marriage but he had forbidden her. He doesn’t want her to go anywhere!!.. He’s still in those days where men used to dominate women. He doesn’t torture her neither does he touch her but he forces her to attend business parties and in the passing years she has become a toy for him. He wants her to be that Swara which she never was!!.. He wants her to be a business woman but she doesn’t, she has been always in a different profession and she loves her profession, her skills whereas Laksh always insults her and her skills. In their two years of marriage, he didn’t change a bit nor did she try to change him. She realises how wrong she was to leave Sanskar and marry Laksh!!..

**Flashback starts**

Swara and Sanskar were deeply in love by now. It was Saturday evening and Sanskar came to meet Swara as the next day was Sunday. He searches for her in the entire house and she was no where to be found.

“Swara, where are you? Swara..” he panics. He enters the terrace and he looks on dumbfounded. The room was beautifully decorated with shimmering lights and candles, a table in between and rose petals on the way.

“Happy Birthday sweetheart” someone whispered in his ears. He turned and looked around, the most beautiful woman for him.

“Thank you, love” he whispered back and hugged her.

“I’m sorry. I know I’m late but what to do? The entire day I was busy and then I thought of giving you a surprise so, couldn’t tell you” she pulled apart “Now tell me how’s it?”

“Beautiful” he said looking into her eyes and she blushed.

“I asked about the decorations” she said hitting him.

“Decorations are okay but the one who decorated is beautiful and s*xy” he winked.

“Sanskar….” she hit him with her elbow.

“Okay! Baba you’re gorgeous!” indeed she was!!.. With a netted white and red saree, beautifully depicted works done on it, she was looking gorgeous!!..

“My Swara is very beautiful!” he hugged her from back and kissed her cheeks.

“And my Sanskar is very handsome” she spoke looking back at him and kissing his cheeks back.

“That I know” they laughed.

“So what about dinner?” she asks.

“You made?” she nods “Then I’m dying to have it” she smiles and makes him sit and she sits opposite to him. They start feeding each other.

Both of them stare each other feeling their immense love. Sanskar comes towards her and they have an eyelock. Swara’s heart starts beating fast as Sanskar cups her face and kisses her forehead. He captures her lips and kisses her with all his love. Swara kisses him back showering the same love and affection.

“I love you” Sanskar says and rest his forehead on hers.

“I love you too” he makes her stand and carries her in his arms. He lifts her up and carries her to her room and places her on the bed. He asks for permission and she complies.

Moments after love making, Sanskar kisses Swara’s palms and pulls her onto him “In the entire world this is the most comfortable and safest place for me” she rests her head on his chest and kisses him there. He smiles and pecks her lips.

“Thank you for being there for me Sanskar always! Whenever I need you. To protect, to care, to support and love me always!!.. I just hope our love stays intact. Whatever destiny has planned for us, let it be like that but our love shouldn’t decrease. You shouldn’t stop loving me and I promise I’ll never think of doing so” she spoke genuinely looking onto his eyes.

“I promise” he spoke looking onto her eyes. He knew she was afraid and he had to find out what it was “I will never leave you Swara. Never ever!!.. The day I leave you will be my last day” she brought her finger to his lips and shushed him.

“Never say that. I was just afraid. I don’t know much about these relationships but what I know is I love you and I want the same love and trust from you. I want you to be trustworthy and I know you are!! But…” he sighed.

“But what?” he paused for her to continue.

“I am afraid what if you forbid me for anything what I want to achieve. My mom had never forbidden me for anything and I wish the same from you. Will you be able to give me that freedom? To take my own decisions? To continue my profession?”

“Swara, who told you I’ll forbid you? I have loved you with all my heart and soul. I didn’t love you for your beauty to keep you and put you on stage for people to look at you and admire you and praise you for owning you. You aren’t my trophy love! How do you get such things into your mind? I love you for what you are so be like that always!!” he kissed me again.

“That’s why I love you” she kissed him again and got busy in their love.

**Flashback ends**

Swara realizes that she reached Kolkata and gets down the car. She looks around and recalls her days here with the three most special person’s in her life: her mom, Shekhar and Sanskar. This city has snatched everything from her; her happiness, her mom; her love, her Sanskar and now her one and only support, her Shekhar papa.

“Swara come, Papa is waiting for us” Laksh yells and she complies.

As soon as she reaches the door of her papa’s room, she puts all her bags down and hugs Shekhar, who is lying on his bed. She cries out as she has been missing Shekhar all these years. Shekhar too cries hugging her. He looks at her and doesn’t find the same jovial Swara. She is no longer what she used to be. He looks towards Laksh and he knows what is wrong. Next day, he calls Laksh and Swara to discuss about their marriage.

“Why can’t you let her work?” Shekhar asks.

“Because women aren’t meant for these things. They should learn to obey their husband and treat them as their Lord. We are masters and they are our maids” Laksh speaks.

“And Swara you agree with him?” Shekhar asks and Swara looks down “You aren’t my Swara. My Swara was never like this” Swara looks on shocked.

“If you are my Shona beta then get up. Slap this idiot, tear off that magalsutra and leave” Swara and Laksh were shocked “What are you looking at? I want you to do this. Enough is enough now show time. Show him that women can work and much more then a men does”

After a minute of silence, Swara slaps Laksh across his face and throws her mangalsutra apart “You will get your divorce papers soon” she warns him and leaves.

“Papa..” Laksh utters something and Shekhar slaps him hard.

“I knew about you but still I made her marry you. I thought you would change but I was so wrong. I feel ashamed of myself” and Shekhar leaves to meet Swara.

“I am sorry Shona” Shekhar says as he enters Swara’s room.

“Papa” she looks on shocked.

“I knew about you and Sanskar. I made you marry my foolish son even after knowing how he was!!.. I am so sorry” he joins his hands and cries.

“Papa please! I know what Laksh did was wrong but you need not blame yourself. You are elder to me and you knew what is best and after knowing that Sanskar was married you asked me not to marry him for my better future and there’s nothing wrong in that” Swara wiped Shekhar’s tears.

“Still I’m sorry and please forgive me”

“Papa please! You just fulfilled mom’s last wish to keep me happy always”

“And Shona you aren’t happy. Your mom would never be happy. She was like a sister to me”

“Stop saying Sorry papa”

“Okay” he wiped his tears “Only if I get my old Shona back, then I may feel that I’m forgiven”

“From tomorrow, you will see a new Swara, I promise” she smiled. Shekhar smiled back caressing her face.

Six months went by and now Swara was completely back to her old life. Her daily routine of treating and dealing with her patients coming for counseling. She was happy even if she still missed Sanskar, she never searched for him. She thought may be he had started a new life and was living happily after she left him.

Here Sanskar was roaming around in the city. She had come back to Kolkata after a year. He was happy, though had no one in his life and only he knew how miserable his life had been without Swara, still he was satisfied. Now Sanskar Maheshwari was one of the top most business tycoons. What if he didn’t have his support system beside him? What if he didn’t had his Swara beside him? He had her inside his heart, their memories, their wonderful nights, their silly fights, their love…He divorced Ragini as soon as he felt Swara’s importance in his life, that her place could never be given to anyone what if she wasn’t with him, near him? She was in his heart always till his last breathe!!..

Sanskar stopped his car in front of her chamber, near the Hooghly river. He got down and starred for a while when he suddenly noticed something. He ran across the road like a mad and opened the door of Swara’s cabin. Swara was busy with her patient and when Sanskar entered she was completely shocked. She couldn’t believe what she saw, she widened her eyes and after the patient left, she came near him and cupped his face.

“Sanskar” she called his name with lots of love. Sanskar hugged her immediately. Both kept hugging each other, crying and soothing each others pain and injuries.

“I missed you so much. Where were you?” Sanskar asked kissing the top of her head.

“Six months before I came here. I divorced Laksh” Sanskar looked at her eyes and he could easily find out her pain, she had gone through. They discussed about their lives all these years. How lonely they were!!.. without each other…

Swara kept hugging Sanskar and didn’t leave him. She thought that if this time she let him go, she’ll die. Sanskar consoled Swara, he too didn’t leave her hand. He knew how miserable her condition was and he took her home. He made her lie on the bed and asked her to rest.

“where are you going leaving me Sanskar? Please don’t go” she caught his hands not letting him move.

“Swara, I’m here only”

“Please don’t go! I’ll die if you leave me this time” they both knew how badly both needed each other. He kissed her to calm her down.