Day 736

DATELINE: iFly, VIRGINIA BEACH
Reporting Semi-Live, this is Bryce Holliwell (alter ego of Rick Kinnaird)
Today at 7am Alex Kinnaird and his flying partner Sophie (whose last name I don’t know and whose first name I’m not sure I spelled correctly) take the tunnel.
Their routine consists of three pages. The first and third page are the same. The second page is a mirror opposite of pages 1 and 3. Each page has three elements in it. The first is to whirl around the tunnel upside down in one direction, then to reverse direction after passing “the green light” located near the entry point. If you fail to completely pass the green light (say an ankle doesn’t get across) you are docked five seconds.
You are to fly “clean” and “fast.”
The next move is each flyer stays on one half of the tunnel. There is a laser beam that divides the tunnel and like a bar at an island dance you must fly over and under the bar without breaking the beam. It also serves as the dividing in half line. While each flyer is on their side they must do what amount to a front flop and a back flop. At Some point they cross in an X pattern.
The last element is to whirl around in the opposite direction from the first way.
This completes one page of three.
They compete against time. The whole routine should take one minute and twenty seconds.
The world champions (two little kids raised by wolves who live in a wind tunnel*) do it in fifty seconds.
* ie Their parents are skydivers and they’ve been doing this since they could crawl. Plus they are really light so they fly around at super high speed.
Alex and Sophie are on a team of ten. There is also a freeform part of the competition, which one of the other folks on the team is doing.
This is what I understand the competition to be and in no way may represent what really happens.
Reporting Semi-Live this is Bryce Holliwell over and out. Back to you Rick.

Thank you Bryce, I understand that the current objective of Alex and Sophie is “to not be last”?
That is correct Rick. Victory is within sight.
Very good. Thank you.

And now on to other news.
It has been reported by The New York Times that the FBI opened an investigation into the president of the untied states, one Donald J. Trump, naming him as a possible threat to National Security based on his behavior toward and involving the Russians. They were trying to determine if he was a knowing or unknowing Russian asset. This is the first time a president has been so named.
There are two sides to the interpretation of this story. One says the failing New York Times, fake news, and is more evidence of the deep state out to get Trump. The other is based on reporting by former FBI counter-espionage agents and lawyers familiar with prosecutions of this type. They say that there is a very very strict standard to open such an investigation, and that this would have to have been done, given the nature of the person being investigation, at the highest levels of the FBI and the Justice Department. That there has to be more than what the public currently knows for the FBI to open such an investigation. Such things would be intercepted communication between Russians talking about Trump, communication between Trump or his associates and Russians. This is serious and unprecedented.
Meanwhile, the president is considering taking money away from disaster relief funds for California, Puerto Rico, and other U.S. entities affected by natural disasters to pay for his man made disaster – The Border Wall.

Sarah Sanders has said there is no basis for the NYT FBI report. This is clear evidence that there is. Also, the report by Andy Borowitz that Sanders would lie for free during the shutdown are not true. She is getting paid. The report is satire.