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Sunday, July 28, 2013

Jason takes a Bullet to the Head

There was an era of action movies when men where men, women were hot and showed their boobs, and disputes were settled with violent bloodshed. This was the 1980s, and it's sorely missed.

Fortunately, every once in a while, a movie like Bullet to the Head comes along to remind us of this glorious time. And, in a place like The Basement, there is much rejoicing.

After watching their respective partners die, a New Orleans hitman and a
Washington D.C. detective form an alliance in order to bring down their
common enemy.

How's that for a plot, motherfuckers!?! Lean, mean and to the point -- just like the action movies of the 80s.

The fact Bullet to the Head and The Last Stand were largely ignored by the movie-going public says little about the quality of the films and a lot about how retarded modern audiences are. Sure, they'll drop $12 for bullshit like Twilight and The Hunger Games, but won't spend a dime on glorious carnage like this,

Pussies, every last one of them.

This is a MAN's movie. It's violent, full of macho banter, and pisses on anything with a PG-13 rating. Real squibs are used when people get shot, not CGI. Disagreements are sorted out with an axe fight, not some airy fairy martial arts throwdown.

Is this art? Fuck no. Will it win an award? Only if there's an award for badassness. THIS is what action movies should be. I dig the Bourne movies and Skyfall a lot, but this is the shit I grew up with. And I'm glad Sly Stallone and Walter Hill are still in the game.

A Good. See it, unless your weak and love shit like Twilight. In that case, I pity you.