DUmmie FUnnies

A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

DUmmies Embrace Lawyered Up Weiner

Clueless DUmmies are an absolute hoot! Virtually all RATIONAL people following the breaking Weinergate scandal understand that the reason why Anthony Weiner got himself lawyered up by "seeking the advice of counsel" on how to proceed understand that the real purpose is to only appear to be doing something about the supposed hacking of his Twitter account while avoiding having to report the "crime" to authorities which actually would be a crime. Notice that caveat about "rational" people. That definitely doesn't include the DUmmies who are so clueless as to believe that Weiner got himself lawyered up for the purpose of hunting down the supposed hacker as you can see in their THREAD, "Rep. Anthony Weiner Exploring Legal Action Over ‘Weinergate’ Fiasco." So let us now watch the utterly clueless DUmmies who believe that Weiner, like OJ, is really searching for the culprit in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if the porno actress that Weiner Twitted with ever had scenes with the Hedgehog, is in the [brackets]:

Rep. Anthony Weiner Exploring Legal Action Over ‘Weinergate’ Fiasco

[Meanwhile OJ continues searching for the killer.]

Source: Raw Story

[Serving up Raw Weiner.]

Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner is consulting with his lawyers after it was reported that the New York congressman sent a racy photo to a female college student from Seattle via Twitter.

[Ben Burch is jealous.]

“We’ve retained counsel to explore the proper next steps and to advise us on what civil or criminal actions should be taken,” Weiner spokesman Dave Arnold told The Daily Caller in an email. “This was a prank. We are loath to treat it as more, but we are relying on professional advice."

[Did Sarah Palin need to retain counsel to tell her to report to authorities that her email account was hacked?]

Weiner has claimed that his Facebook account was hacked and that, while the photo did appear on his Twitter feed, he did not send it. The photo shows a man’s erect penis outlined in a pair of tight boxer briefs. The photo was first published by Andrew Breitbart’s BigGovernment.

[I say it was erection fraud because a sock was stuffed down those boxer briefs.]

An analysis of a screenshot of the congressman’s yFrog account, which was published by BigGovernment, shows the image was manipulated, according to the progressive blog DailyKos. The screenshot was allegedly altered to make it appear that the racy photo was associated with Rep. Weiner’s account. Another DailyKos blogger has suggested that nearly the entire incident was fabricated by a conservative Twitter user.

[So the next obvious step is to contact the authorities for an investigation. Right, Weiner? Hello? Are you there Weiner? So far no such call from his lawyers. Just a lot of smoke and mirrors that the DUmmies completely buy into but that's why they are called "DUmmies." Speaking of which, let us now watch the clueless DUmmies hilariously buy into the supposed resolve by Weiner & his lawyers to bring the "culprit" to justice...]

YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!

[When the TRUTH is finally revealed, DUmmie no_hypocrisy will be posting NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!]

Bring the FBI in and find out who and how the account was hacked.Then prosecute to the fullest extent. Anything less is just letting them get away with it.

[Why do I get the feeling that DUmmie ChrisBorg is a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

GOOD ! These phonies need to fear the LAW!

[A certain phony Weiner fears contacting the LAW!]

Go Anthony Go! ...do it, do it, do it... Track down this scum and launch everything you can against them.

[Launch those boomerangs!!!]

Good. It wasn't a joke and it wasn't funny. It was a deliberate attempt to destroy the career of an articulate Democrat.

[It wasn't a joke but it is most definitely FUnnie. And the FUnniest part will be watching the DUmmies hit by a strong dose of Freudenschade when the truth finally comes out.]

Perhaps it is time for Breitbart to go to jail

[Breitbart will be indicted in just 24 business hours.]

Agreed. And, just this once, I wouldn't yell if the arresting officers roughed him up a bit.

[How about if they rough up the person filing a FALSE report?]

Sue the Hell Out of Them!!!

[But under no condition file an actual complaint with authorities. Just lawyer up and blow a lot of meaningless smoke which fools ONLY the DUmmies.]

THIS WAS NOT A PRANK. IT WAS FRAUD DESIGNED TO TAKE THE CONGRESSMAN DOWN. Sorry for yelling, but I am sick and tired and tired and sick of people treating these goons as pranksters.

[DUmmie Deminks is definitely a candidate for a mental meltdown when the truth outs.]

ABSO-F*CKING-LUTELY! And yeah, deminks, I join you in SHOUTING at the top of my lungs!!!!!!! We ALL should be shouting!!!

This was NO prank. This was deliberate because evidently somebody in the bad-guy contigent regards him as a pretty effective threat. He does speak out a lot and make a tremendous amount of sense. He's one of our leading lights now. And they would LOVE to discredit him and make his life miserable. So he's doing the exactly-correct thing: turning the tables and discrediting THEM and making THEIR lives miserable. That's the only way to fight these bastards. Because up til now they've been able to do this with no consequences whatsoever.

[DUmmie calimary is going to go down hard. BUT WAIT! Her primal scream isn't quite over yet.]

And if you don't fight, either because you think you don't want to give the scandal any oxygen (yeah, sure, with THIS adversarial "media" nowadays - look what "rising above it" and "not dignifying it with a response" did for John Kerry after he was swiftboated!), or you just don't want to get into the mud or you just don't have the stomach for it, it WILL be perceived in many quarters as being true. "Well, he's not saying anything about it. He isn't denying it. His camp is being awfully quiet about it these days. Hmmm. Must be something to it, then."

NO. You get your ass out there in public and make as big a noise about it as possible, and fight it as hard as you can, and speak out as hard as you can, and DEFEND YOURSELF!!!! Shirley Sherrod took far too long. Her FIRST and IMMEDIATE reflect should have been to call in the lawyers - as many of them as she could afford. Before anyone felt they had to take time and look at it fully and otherwise jerk off and waste precious days. The FIRST thing she should have done was to lawyer up. People in this country like fighters. Whether for good or bad. They have more respect for people who yell and scream and make a stink, regardless whether there's any justification. I mean, look what it did for the teabaggers! Even to this very day. Maybe 20 of 'em show up at some lame-ass "rally" and yet they get coverage up the ying-yang! Too many Americans just like and approve of the sound and fury. So our side needs to start making some! ESPECIALLY when we have PLENTY of justification! If you take the so-called high road, you're regarded these days as a wuss, a wimp, spineless, and probably also guilty of whatever shit the bad guys are trying to throw at you. You HAVE TO respond, and the sooner the better!!!

I hope he goes all the way with this, and doesn't decide after looking at it that there's nothing worth doing except issuing one of those fabulous :eyes: "strongly-worded letters." Which the bad guys will just take to the bathroom to use for toilet paper.

[Trust me, DUmmie calimary, that is the WHOLE purpose of Weiner lawyering up...to avoid reporting this "crime" to authorities. Oh, and to what address may we send you a DUFU butterfly net when the TRUTH finally outs? And for those of you who have not had enough of DUmmie calimary's hilarious primal scream, here is an encore...]

We need to fight a LOT harder, a LOT meaner, and yes, even a lot dirtier. Nobody EVER said politics was a clean business. Anyone who thinks otherwise is just being naive in this day and age. And unfortunately, as much as we would wish it to be otherwise, naivete doesn't win elections.

[Um, I think we better include a leather strap for her to bite down upon along with that butterfly net.]

The person who hacked Palin's emails was prosecuted and got a sentence, so whoever did this should have to obey the rules.

[Are you noticing Weiner in the wings signalling you to SHUT UP?]

You cannot make "jokes" like this in today's political climate. He should absolutely pursue this.

[Including filing a criminal complaint with the authorities. Why won't I be a bit surprised if he neglects to do so "on advice of counsel."]

we're for Weiner! Go, Anthony, we're behind you

[And Weiner is behind you.]

Exploring Legal Action" That won't take more than a few years

[A Kewpie Doll to that skeptical DUmmie.]

If Weiner is not in anyway guilty Then he is doing exactly what someone has needed to do to Brietbart for a long time - hoist him on his own petard.

[That's a massive "IF" there.]

What I don't understand is... why they are only considering legal action? This hack was a serious breach of a sitting member of congress. The FBI/Secret Service should have been contacted immediately and any evidence retained. I would have thought it would be automatic, that when a member of congress reports being hacked that there are protocols in place that just happen whether someone wants to pursue things or not. Twitter should have been notified immediately as well so that they could assist (which didn't happen since he never lost his "verified" status as occurs in the case of hacks). This should be investigated and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

[You have just witnessed an act of DUmmieland suicide by a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Monday, May 30, 2011

KOmmies Perform MicroAnalysis of Weiner Bulge

I won't be posting the KOmmie rants from their THREAD, "Breitbart's Weiner hoax: New photos surface! Analysis, and Surprise!" because the hilarity isn't so much in what they said but in how they presented it. You have to actually see their thread to fully appreciate the unintentional humor in the highly detailed closeup analysis of several Weiner bulge photos plus the accompanying charts. They are so desperate to pin Weinergate on Andrew Breitbart that I won't be a bit surprised if they present spectral analysis graphs of the Weiner bulge as well as subject the pics to a CAT scan.

So if you want a great bellylaugh, head over to this KOmmie THREAD to watch hilarious obsession in action. Of course, the FUnniest times will come when the TRUTH about Weinergate is finally revealed. It will be very hard on the KOmmies. The TRUTH most likely will be delayed in the near term as we await the advise of Weiner's counsel. Yeah, he actually is seeking advice of a counsel to tell him what to do. Most likely the counsel will tell him to just write it off as a prank. God forbid the authorities investigate this. That is the last thing the Weiner wants to have happen.

HUffies Skeptically Stare at Weiner

Because the leftwing requirements for posting at the HUffington Post are much less stringent than at DUmmieland, the HUffies are much more skeptical of Anthony Weiner's weiner story than the DUmmies who have SWALLOWED it whole. You can see HUffie skepticism about Weiner in this THREAD, "Anthony Weiner Says He Was #Hacked, After Briefs Shot Tweeted From His Account." So let us now watch most of the HUffies who have kept their hands off Weiner comment skeptically on the story in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, posting yet another story on this topic because he knows Ben Burch can't get enough of Weiner, is in the [brackets]:

Anthony Weiner Says He Was #Hacked, After Briefs Shot Tweeted From His Account

[Wasn't Lorena Bobbitt also involved in a hacked Weiner story?]

Yesterday, Anthony Weiner's 45,000 Twitter followers were treated to this surprising photo of someone's weiner (professionally required to say that) in briefs, which Weiner's rep today said was the work of a hacker. The tweet was directed, publicly, from Weiner's Twitter account, to a female in the Pacific Northwest, who quickly deleted her Twitter and Facebook accounts after the incident. The woman is believed to be a journalism student in Seattle who once referred to Weiner as "her boyfriend" over Twitter. The tweet was immediately deleted, along with every photo in Weiner's yfrog account.

[Wow! The Hacker also hacked Weiner's yfrog account. I BEEEEELEEEEEVE!!! However the HUffies, in stark contrast to the gullible DUmmies about to experience a massive dose of Freudenschade, do not quite believe.]

Why did he delete ALL the photos in his account immediatel­y? Shouldn't everything have been preserved as evidence for investigat­ors? That seems odd.

[Yes. Something very odd about Weiner...and his behavior.]

OK, so why delete ALL images in your account? Still trying to understand why an investigat­ion has not been asked for. Wouldn't you want the authoritie­s to find and prosecute someone hacking into your personal accounts? I sure would.

[Hmmm... I seem to recall that Sarah Palin encouraged a big investigation when her account was hacked. And from Weiner on this subject...silence.]

Just simply amazing that he would not ask for an investigat­ion. This is serious stuff. Somebody is supposedly hacking into the private accounts of US Congressma­n. They could catch the hacker in a couple days if he just reports the "crime".

[Silence of the Obams.]

Impersonat­ing a Federal officer is a crime. Hacking is also illegal. It seems from Weiner's spokespers­on, it is already out if their hands and into the hands of the Federal authoritie­s. The chips will fall where they may.

[So just whose hands is the Weiner in?]

It is going to be a slow process since Rep Weiner deleted the one (hacked) tweet and all of his yFrog pictures. Seems odd that he would need to delete all his pictures.

[Deleting evidence from a CSI. Odd.]

Facebook notified the Congressma­n a week ago that his assword my have been tampered with and it appears he did nothing which is an unusual move from a prolific user of social network sites.

[Confess Ben Burch. Was that you tampering with the Weiner assword?]

Funny how the account was never shut down by Twitter while they investigat­ed, or for that matter Rep. Weiner seems to be protecting the hacker by not calling for an investigat­ion into this serious crime he himself alleged. Perhaps he should have went with, "Sorry, I was drunk."

[He accidentally hit the wrong Twitter button while choking on a pretzel.]

This hacker has caused significan­t harm to Rep. Wiener and the poor young woman who seems to have been the second target. We must ensure the proper authoritie­s find the hacker and bring him to justice. As a bonus, it may finally make Breitbart insignific­ant. Rep. Wiener should demand an investigat­ion just for that.

Gee, I wonder why Huff Po has made the editorial decision to place this article in such an obscure location?

[They wanted to hide Weiner in a bun.]

ya, quite unlike the entry for the GOP congressma­n who was SHIRTLESS!­!!

[In the Land of HUffPo it is a much greater crime for a Republican congressman to bare his chest than for a Democrat congressman to expose his Weiner.]

Anthony Weiner holds a number of very high level security clearances and is no doubt privy to a great deal of classifies material. I am sure he is is urging the authoritie­s t find out who it is that hacked his account, right.

[Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.]

First his name is Wiener. Please learn how to spell his name right. Second, why would he go jail when his account was being hacked?

[I'm wif stooopid. His name is spelled W-E-I-N-E-R you weiner.]

This story is not going away. Someone has filed an official notificati­on to some "hacking" reporting service about this "Hacking" and it will be followed up. The FBI may be interested in a Congressma­n's accounts being hacked, if they were. He will not be able to stuff this crap back into the goose. Tuesday will be a very interestin­g day in Mr. Weiner's carreer.

[The day the Weiner gets grilled.]

I want the FBI to investigat­e this so-called "hack" of Weiners account.

[I know that is NOT you, Anthony Weiner.]

Anthony Weiner wrested his twitter/fa­cebook/yfr­og account back from a hacker in four minutes! Amazing! The tweet magically got deleted, as did the young woman's facebook and twitter accounts. She really didn't want them, I'm sure. She writes for a college newspaper, and her name was scrubbed from the online version of the paper, too. It sure seems she's going to a lot of trouble just for a silly 'ole joke picture from a hacker. Sheesh. You'd think a real hacker would, you know, do a little better than a picture of gray undies? Oh, and of Mr. Weiner's 92 people he followed on Twitter, it just so happened that this lovely college student in Seattle was one of them. Hmm.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

DUmmies Swallow Anthony's Weiner Excuse

If there is one thing the DUmmies are good at it is swallowing Weiner. Yes, they just can't get enough Weiner because Congressman Anthony Weiner is one of the most liberal members of Congress. So when Weiner gets stuck in a scandal, the DUmmies have no choice but to swallow the lame Weiner excuse that he really didn't send out a photo of his Weiner encased in underwear via Twitter to a Co-ed in Washington State because his account was supposedly hacked. The strange thing here is that Weiner has yet to complain to authorities about his hacked account but the DUmmie's continue to swallow the Weiner excuse as you can see in this THREAD, "Anthony Weiner: Hackers posted lewd photos on Twitter" as well as this THREAD, "Breitbart publishes risqué photo, claims it’s Anthony Weiner’s wiener." It's a real hoot to read both these DUmmie threads because we know where it is all leading. It is called FREUDENSCHADE, baby! BTW, will the Weiner resign? A Republican Congressman from NY has already resigned because he posted a shirtless photo of himself but will a Weiner count? So let us now watch the DUmmies swallowing the Weiner excuse in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent noting that any story involving Weiner gets the immediate attention of Ben Burch, is in the [brackets]:

Anthony Weiner: Hackers posted lewd photos on Twitter

[Which is why Weiner immediately notified authorities so they could investigate...NOT!]

Rep. Anthony Weiner says social networking identity hacking is to blame for the lewd material that a conservative news website reported was sent from his Twitter and yfrog handles to an unidentified woman from Seattle, Washington.

[Not so unidentified. We already know she attends WHATCOM Community College in the Seattle area. These jokes keep writing themselves.]

The New York Democrat told POLITICO he thought it “obvious” that his account had been taken over, and he tweeted that his Facebook account had been hacked with the abbreviation “FB hacked.”

[If Weiner were really hacked then WHY hasn't he notified the authorities?]

A photo of a man’s bulging gray boxer-brief underwear was posted to Weiner’s account with yfrog — an online image-sharing site — on Saturday night, according to biggovernment.com, which is run by Andrew Breitbart. The photograph is from the waist down, and shows no face.

[If it was bulging then it probably wasn't Anthony's Weiner but it was still sent from his account.]

“The weiner gags never get old, I guess, ” the veteran lawmaker emailed a POLITICO reporter in response on Saturday.

[Weiner has always been a joke and now let us watch the DUmmies swallowing Anthony's lame Weiner excuse...]

I certainly hope he turns this over to the proper law enforcmentthe kid who hacked Palin's Yahoo email got a year of Federal time for this type of thing.

[And of course, Weiner IMMEDIATELY notified the authorities about this hack job, right? Ironically if some kid got a year of Federal time then he would get a lot more Weiner than he counted on...except we already KNOW who the culprit is...and it isn't some anonymous kid.]

I knew those monsters would go after Weiner. They always attack the best of us. Psychopaths always attack your strengths. Grrrrr

[Don't they also go after Weiner in Greenwich Village?]

Hacking is a crime, and these repuke thugs may not realize it, but they are in deep shit

[And now Weiner can stick it to them...unless he already knows who did the hack job.]

They messed with the wrong person this time. Anthony Weiner is not going to be silent while they go after him. This could actually be a good thing.What I wanted to really say was Weiner will not take this laying down.... sorry Anthony - you're the best!

[Weiner will take it standing up. However the "strange" thing here is that Weiner is completely silent after sputtering the lame hacked excuse. And now for more DUmmies swallowing the Weiner excuse on this THREAD.]

Breitbart publishes risqué photo, claims it’s Anthony Weiner’s wiener

[Weiner's weiner is in hot water.]

Andrew Breitbart's "Big Government" website has published a racy photo that it claims was Tweeted by New York Representative Anthony Weiner to an unnamed recipient.

[The biggest surprise was that it was sent to a WOMAN.]

Weiner has claimed that his Facebook account was hacked and that, while the photo did appear on his Twitter feed, he did not send it. The photo shows a man's erect penis outlined in a pair of tight boxer briefs. Today, Breitbart has been taunting Weiner via Twitter, claiming that he has "much more" scandalous material to reveal.

[Would that material be a Weiner smothered in mayo? And now to read yet more DUmmies swallowing the Weiner excuse...]

Wiener? Is that the male equivalent to a woman's hooha? What's wrong with naming things what they are?

[Should we call it by its scientific name? "Tallywhacker?"]

Breitbart is not very bright to mess with Anthony Weiner. He will get his ass kicked.

[Don't mess with Anthony's Weiner. Take note TSA agents.]

99% of New Yorkers don't give a shit either way. Weiner is engaged to Hillary's personal assistant. She may care, if it's true... which I doubt. But that's between them.

[Actually Weiner is married to Hillary's beard, Huma, but Weiner has never come between them.]

Is it circumcised?

[Ben Burch is already circumcising it up.]

Anthony seems like a tighty whitey kind of guy.

[Boxers or Briefs? Sometimes that question is actually relevant in politics.]

Friday, May 27, 2011

DUmmie whines: "I hate where our country is right now."

WAAAAAAAAAHH!!! The Daze of Whine and Poses never end at DUmmieland. Today's contribution? This THREAD by DUmmie kentuck, "I hate where our country is right now."

So let us go to the land where we cannot question their patriotism, i.e., DUmmieland, where the comments are in Read-Whine Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--who finally found some Flor de Caña rum here in St. Louis, PJ-Comix, and I put some on my vanilla ice cream--is in the [brackets]:

I hate where our country is right now.

[But, but, I thought Obamassiah was going to usher in the Age of Rainbows and Sparkles? Wha' hoppen?]

I used to believe we were a free country.

[I used to BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!]

I used to believe that we were better than those countries that would torture other people.

[Don't worry, the torture's over. Oprah has retired.]

I used to believe that we could trust our elected officials and our President to protect our freedoms.

[Blah, blah, blah. . . .]

I used to believe we were a brave country, not a country of cowards.

[I am used to seeing the DUmmies do these "hyper-parallel constructionism" OPs time after time after time. . .]

I used to believe that someone would always come forward and speak the truth . . .

[TO POWER!]

and lead us to the light.

[Hey, what about the Lightworker? I thought he was going to fix everything. Unicorns farting rainbows and sparkles, you know.]

[Then you became a liberal and forgot about that whole "limited government" business.]

Now, sadly, I see a country that I am ashamed to call my own.

[Canada beckons.]

Call me un-American or whatever you wish.

["Un-American" will do.]

I apologize if this might offend you.

[Is that you, Ed Schultz?]

[Now we go to the other DUmmies, responding to kentuck's "I hate where our country is right now." . . .]

Last I checked, it was in the same spot it was a few years ago, but Japan has shifted by a few feet.

[The better to send their radiation into our cows' milk!]

The only citizens I know that defend big banks of corporations are the tea baggers. . . . The great majority of the country would love to see bankers in chains. . . .

[benburch qualifies on both scores--teabagger, and loves to see guys in chains.]

I know a lot of people who consider themselves on the left who defend corporations all the time. Of course, most of them work for corporations.

[I don't believe it! The part about lefties working, I mean.]

Want to see this country's position flipped by 180 degrees?...wait 12 hours.

what's going to happen in 12 hours?

The earth will have rotated....180 degrees!

[Rimshot!]

I didn't have time to read beyond the thread title, but I would like to encourage you to be patient. . . .

[Irony much?]

When you watched the moon landing You saw the apex of American achievement. It's all been downhill from then.

[One small stop for apex. One giant slip for moonbats.]

I feel like I live in a bubble.

[I feel like you live in a basement.]

Ohio is turning into a right-wing nightmare state.

[Cue the Crying DUmmie!]

it's only gonna get worse too. Guaranteed. its the second law of thermodynamics at work: the universe is spiraling into chaos. . . .

[You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. . . .]

Reagan was the worst President we ever had by a mile. Even worse than Richard Nixon or James Buchanan.

[What about Chimpy McBushitler? . . . How soon they forget. . . .]

I am what I call a "Frank Capra" American. . . .

[You are what I call a "Fulla Crapola" American.]

We the people of these United States are no more...at least not yet.

[Make up your mind.]

Its up to us..not the media not our elected officials.....not the police....only us as a PEOPLE TO DEMAND THAT WE GET RID OF THE COWARDS AND ALL THE CROOKS IN THIS COUNTRY THAT HAS DRIVEN THIS COUNTRY INTO HELLS LAP.

[WE ARE THE ONES WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!! AAAARRRRGGHHH!!!!]

And "only us as a PEOPLE TO DEMAND THAT" cannot be done by sitting in front of a computer screen day in, day out. . . .

[Oh, why not? I sent a Letter To The Editor last week! DUAC! DUAC!]

if not to plan, organize, and coordinate a movement that would involve some 50 million people in street protests (or more than 50 million, if 50 million won't be enough...)

We are run by a set of vultures and there does not seem to be any way to stop them. . . . Vultures? More like cannibals.

[Most of you like cannabis.]

I am MUCH more concerned about republicans than mere terrorists.

[Beware the Palinstinians!]

Something else about Pat Sajak. He is ultra-sensitive about his height. They have elevated platforms behind the podiums where the contestants stand for Pat to stand on so he will never appear to be too short. You will seldom (never?) see a tall Wheel of Fortune contestant and some are really short. I guarantee Wheel of Fortune has a question on their entrance form like, "How tall are you?" If you are over 5'4" you are eliminated.

[Before the show, they put contestants ON the Wheel and run it in reverse, to make them shorter.]

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Sexist DUmmies defend Schultz's slut slur

You see, the fairer sex is fair game for the crudest of misogynist insults, IF the women are conservative: Laura Ingraham, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann . . . the list goes on and on.

DUmmieland is abuzz with Slutgate right now, many threads. We'll start with this THREAD, "Ed Schultz calls Laura Ingraham a ‘right-wing slut,’" and take it from there.

So let us see the DUmmie DUbble Standard on display, as they defend Schlutz's slut slur--yes, let's now spell Ed's name "Schlutz." The misogynist moonbat mutterings are in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

Whoa! That's a bit much Ed. She may be many things, but a slut is not one of them.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Yeah, "skank" would have fit much better. . . .

[Skank you very much.]

there are probably more scathing descriptions which would work.

[Can you top this? Anyone for the "c" word?]

how to succeed in media BY BEING A CLUELESS RIGHT-WING BABE IN A LEOPARDSKIN MINISKIRT

[benburch, I think you're just jealous because she looks better in *her* leopardskin miniskirt.]

GO ED GO

[HO LAURA HO]

These blowhards on the Right are SCUM, and I refuse to play ping pong with them. . . .

[Out Before The Ping . . . Pong]

I've said for awhile that I think Ed Schulz too rock-stupid to be a reliable Dem spokeman.

[I think that would make him a PERFECT Dem spokesman.]

If he was in private conversation, that's fine, but he said this on the air. Was he drunk?

[Schlutz was into his Schlitz.]

he is a dick. and i like the dude, but if we are really reducing ourselves to sophmoric insult. . . .

[The irony is strong with this one.]

repeat after me. SLUT SLUT SLUT. Ah I feel better now.

[The dis that refreshes.]

Can't wait to see his show tonight to see what he says.

[Special Ed is consluting his thesaurus as we speak.]

C word is a better descripition for her.

["Conservative"? Yeah, that would be the worst.]

WTF, I give up. If anything, we need more of it. More UNAPOLOGETIC vitriol. . . . Backing down? What the f***? . . . Guess I am glad I have dual citizenship so what the f*** ever, people. What the f*** ever. This type of sh*t just really, really ticks me off. F***in' A.

[Nice.]

Ed Schultz Suspended for ‘Slut’ Comment directed at Laura Ingraham

[Wha-- WHAA???]

MSNBC has suspended Ed Schultz for one week. . . .

[If a tree falls in a forest, and there's no one around to hear it. . . .]

Schultz will address the remarks on his show tonight, and then take a week off.

[C'mon, Ed! Ramp it up! Go for the "c" word! Throw in a "b," too! Speak truth to power!]

Sunday, May 22, 2011

William Rivers Pitt Mocks Apocalypse Prediction

Who should be the LAST person in DUmmieland to mock the apocalypse prediction? Try the perpetrator of the Karl Rove indictment hoax aka WILLIAM RIVERS PITT. Perhaps the guy who made the apocalypse prediction should claim that it will happen within the next 24 business hours because that is how the Pitt prediction still stands. Supposedly the indictment is still in an sealed envelope and merely needs to be opened and revealed to the public. Remember, Pitt has NEVER owned up to confessing to the error of his prediction so the irony of his mocking of the apocalypse prediction completely escapes him in his THREAD, "Yup, Still Here." So let us now watch the man who placed complete blind faith in a thieving, lying, drug addict known as Jason Leopold mock the apocalypse prediction in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting the hundreds of thousands of dollars that the DUmmies tossed away on the blind faith that Bev Harris could conjure up an overthrow of the 2004 election, in in the [brackets]:

Yup, Still Here

[The sealed Karl Rove indictment?]

A few weeks ago, my wife and I took a drive to visit friends and family in her small hometown out in western Pennsylvania. It was what you'd expect from a region that has been dealing with economic recession since the steel and rail industries dried up and blew away forty years ago - sweet and beautiful in places, blighted and depressing in others, but with the first faint bloom of spring on the trees whispering of better days to come - except for one strange, glaring thing.

[Karl Rove remains free.]

It was one of those digital billboards, looming and gaudy amid the neglected sprawl of Altoona, and displayed on it was something I'd only heard about in passing. According to that blinking monstrosity, Jesus was going to ride back to Earth on the wave of a planet-annihilating earthquake that would summon The Faithful to Heaven and consign the remaining mass of sinful humanity to the yawning doom of the damned. This was to happen on May 21st, roundabout six in the evening (Eastern Standard Time), and the last dregs of the un-chosen would be completely scourged from the Earth by October.

[And what was supposed to happen on May 12 roundabout 24 business hours, Will?]

By the time we left for home, I had spotted three more billboards of varying sizes and technologies espousing the same apocalyptic message, and upon our return, I did some digging. As it turned out, these things had been popping up all over the country; even here in liberal Boston, I discovered the existence of one of these billboards not three miles from where I now sit. Something called Family Radio Worldwide, in the guise of a fellow named Harold Camping, laid out the scratch to buy all that billboard space across the continent, because ol' Harold had consulted his trusty Bible, done some wildly questionable math, and pulled the exact moment of the End Times out of his cash-filled hat.

[And Bev Harris pulled a new election result out of her cash-filled BBV. Perhaps Camping could claim that he heard about the apocalypse from Jason Leopold.]

Oh yeah, the money has by-God been rolling in ever since Mr. Camping sprayed his end-times predictions into a Family Radio microphone. But I'm quite sure that has nothing to do with anything. Those billboards were not an investment seeking future profits, and the incredible sum of money Mr. Camping has raked in as The Day loomed closer was just simple people trying to get in good with God before the elevator took them to the top floor.

[Camping should have claimed that he got his prediction from the Hopi Wise Men and then he would be rolling in DUmmie cash.]

Somewhere, P.T. Barnum is slapping his knee and giggling like a titmouse.

Well, guess what? It was already Sunday in Australia when the alleged Biggest Saturday Ever dawned across Eastern Standard Time, and that whole continent remained obstinately Down Under instead of rapturously Up Above. Maybe every single living person there is a blasphemous sinner, but the sun has been crawling across the northern hemisphere for long enough to convince even the most fervently devout that, mmmmmm, maybe they've had their pockets picked once again by yet another wolf dressed in sheep's clothing.

[Or by yet another Will dressed in Jason's clothing.]

Forgive this leap to judgment, but I have a sneaking suspicion I know just exactly what type of person goes in for this breed of apocalyptic nonsense. Let me guess: you're a Christian of the evangelical stripe, white, and your ears are forever attuned to the dog-whistles of social conservativism. You voted for George W. Bush twice, and would have happily done it a third time if given the chance. It's almost certain your whole life is caving in around your ears, and you are utterly unable to cope. You can't make the mortgage payments, your job got outsourced to somewhere, and you seethe at the presence of non-English-speaking brown people around you, even when they mow your lawn and empty your trash and serve your food. You think Rush and Beck sit at the right hand of God, and you've been voting Republican ever since Ronald Reagan invited Jerry Falwell to the White House. You are a follower, an adorer of authority in all its permutations. You smell like fear.

[And Pitt smells like deer. Frightened deer when caught in the headlights after the exposure of his Karl Rove indictment fraud. When will you ever truly own up to it, Will? Your whining partial birth NON-APOLOGY chock full of self-pity doesn't count.]

Your life is caving in around your ears, to an incredibly large degree, because you have supported - with your time, your money, and your badly-spelled signs at Tea Party rallies - the very politicians, corporations and power-brokers who have savaged your future. You believe in the demigod of free-market capitalism (because Rush and Beck tell you so) even as that system steals from you, your children and their children to come. You see the writing on the wall and perceive it as runes carved there by devils and socialists and Muslim fellow-travelers, because you have been well-trained to do so. You would not know the truth of your life if it voided its bladder in your face, because you are inculcated with a world-view that is sustained by hatred, distrust, fear, and the clannish bonding of the cult-bound who think as you do, and so are "saved."

["Know the truth?" When will you finally ADMIT the truth about your fraud, Pitt? Or do we have to wait another 24 business hours to hear it?]

Yours is the church of cognitive dissonance - the more truth is presented to you, the more vigorously you reject it in favor of the pain-cave of your dilapidated ideals. This day of doom is your best option, and your greatest hope, because the spiraling dissolution of your stunted follower's faith leaves you no other options save the blessed simplicity of oblivion. You are thoroughly suicidal, at bottom, and when that end does not come for you (and, psssst, it's not coming), you will be forced to cope with the truth of Sunday's rising dawn, and the sad fact of your continuing existence.

[Could their existence be any sadder than being confined for all eternity to pacing a small piece of sidewalk as a pretend bouncer in front of Bukowski's while living in constant fear that one of the Newton girls breaks her cash-enforced silence to rat out the Temporary SockPuppet?]

I think you might live your whole life and die without taking responsibility for the pernicious nature of your influence on our culture, but I hold out hope for you. Jesus did not ring your bell today, and maybe that means it's time to re-evaluate your role in things.

[So when will YOU take responsibility for your part in perpetrating the Karl Rove indictment fraud? Come to think of it, have you ever even taken responsibility for threatening violence on a homeless woman living in a car on a Colorado street? And how much of mommy's dough did it take to checkbook your way back into DUmmieland after that episode?]

I am a baptized Christian, and I have faith, insofar as I very much believe that within the first four books of the New Testament can be found a superior blueprint for living a good, moral life. I am educated, insofar as I know the Book of Revelation is coded language to the faithful under the shadow of ancient Roman repression, and not a literal roadmap charting the end of the world. I am not afraid of the dark. I am still here. So are you.

[As you claimed, Will, you are a KENNEDY CATHOLIC who only proclaims false faith and phony public prayers when it is politically convenient to do so.]

So I guess we still have to deal with the world as we find it.

[And we have to deal with the Karl Rove indictment...IF Will can ever find it. And now to hear from the DUmmie Peanut Gallery...]

Technically, the fallacy is the bad stuff, not the pointing out of it...

[So any comment on the FALLACY of the Karl Rove indictment?]

I don't know, Will. The clock has not run out yet. We have until6 pm any time zone. I wouldn't worry though. This is the second time this goober has sent up flares.

[An oatmeal cookie to the first DUmmie (or LFT) who points out to Will that there are still 24 business hours left to run on the clock for the apocalypse prediction to come true.]

Just wanted to know what YOU meant when you said "superior moral blueprint." Superior to what?

[DUmmie trotsky challenging Pitt's claim to believe in part of the Bible. Don't worry your atheist soul about this, DUmmie trotsky. Pitt only PRETENDS to believe.]

I can always count on you, trotter, to be predictable.

[Replies the predictable Pitt to DUmmie trotsky.]

If you're waiting for me to apologize for being a Christian, I invite you to hold your breath.

[Added Pitt later. BTW, when are you going to apologize for being a grandstanding Kennedy "Catholic" who shows absolutely NO public professions of faith until it is politically convenient to do so?]

This should be on every front page in America. and on every TV set.

[NEWSFLASH!!! Karl Rove has been indicted on May 12, 2006!!!]

My husband and I thoroughly enjoyed it! We're still here, too, and welcome you back to NC whenever!

[Why? Is there a homeless woman living in a car in NC for Will to beat up?]

You are absolutely right about the nature of mystery cults. Their doctrine was usually veiled in language only the faithful could understand.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Enlightened DUmmies decry "Ignorance, hatred, and meanness of spirit"

Ignorance, hatred, and meanness of spirit. DUmmie Family Values? No, this is what DUmmie Cyrano says America is like under our fascist overlords with their ready supply of mindless drones. It is only the superior advanced state of enlightened progressives that keeps our country from being a complete hellhole. But it is hanging by a thread. As we see in *this* THREAD, "Ignorance, hatred, and meanness of spirit."

So let us see what Cyrano du Brainiac and the rest of the highly evolved DUmmies have to say, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--privileged to gaze upon the brilliance, tolerance, and sweetness of spirit that is DUmmieland--is in the [brackets]:

Ignorance, hatred, and meanness of spirit

[Filed under "DUmmie Projection"]

Right now, America sucks a lot.

["Right now"? You DUmmies were saying this back in '01, '02, '03, '04. . . . Well, there *were* those few weeks in late '08 and early '09 when you were as giddy as a schoolgirl (or benburch pretending to be a schoolgirl). But that quickly faded.]

There’s a meanness of spirit across the land in today’s America. It is dangerous, destructive, ugly and disgusting. And it’s being bought into by far too many fools. These fools are people who don’t have a clue. . . .

[Yeah, that meanness of spirit, boy! Good thing we libs don't have any.]

It doesn’t get more discouraging than this.

[Just wait. I can see 2012 from my house.]

The ignorant acting against their own self interests. . . .

[The all-purpose excuse for liberal losses.]

Ignorance, hatred, meanness of spirit--these are difficult things to battle. Yet, those of us who still think for ourselves must fight them. The world that would exist if we lose would be an unthinkable nightmare.

[It's up to YOU, DUmmie Cyrano, you and your enlightened colleagues! Save us from the nightmare! . . . Now let's hear from your fellow cognoscenti . . .]

This is scary f***ing stuff, and I wouldn't be so pessimistic if I hadn't been face-to-face with it too many times to count. We're in deep sh*t here.

[Pull the covers over your head and pretend it isn't happening!]

Truth and justice will prevail, ultimately. I have to believe that, and I DO believe that.

[I DO believe, I DO believe, I DO I DO I DO!!!]

If the corporate forces get their way, the US will go hard-fascist, the wingnuts will sign up to be storm-troopers, and all signs of democracy will disappear under the fog of fear and hatred these idiots live in.

[If I sign up to be a stormtrooper, will I get to wear one of those cool uniforms?]

People will continue to evolve. We've already seen how brain anatomy has improved over the last several thousand years.

[The brain terrain stays on an upward plane. So how to explain conservatives? They must have said, "Start the evolution without me!"]

But try they will, and, one day, they will be destroyed simultaneously from both without and within. Hopefully, that will herald the new age of human evolution . . .

[Improve the gene pool: Destroy conservatives.]

and we will become responsible for our habitats and perhaps even get off this world.

Hatred, meanness and ignorance are just some of the weapons the ruling class uses to hold onto their power and to keep the suckers trying to win that big bear at the carnival.

[WHERE'S THE BEAR?]

Carnival Barkers are out to make a few bucks from us.

[Barking Moonbats are out to take *lots* of bucks from us.]

You see it on our side of the aisle as well, and you see it every day in DU/GD. Hatred and meanness of spirit, absolutely. Ignorance, not so much.

[Oh, you sell yourselves short! I think you guys have PLENTY of ignorance!]

They can never get enough. And we can never stop fighting them. But, damn it, they really have our backs against the wall this time around. So do we fight, grovel, hope, pray, try a non-violent approach, or do everything possible to bury the b*st*rds?

[Probably just type on our keyboards while we sit munching Doritos. DUAC! DUAC!]

I recently found out that there was a large population here in the states that sided with the British during the war of 1812. After the war, many of them went up to Canada.

[There you go, Beth Ferrari! There's your answer! British Columbia is only a hop, skip, and a jump up the coast. Go for it!]

Monday, May 16, 2011

Speaking trite to power: DUmmies discuss their buzzwords and cliches

"I have a meme!" And a "moran." And a "Murkin." Yes, it's DUmmiespeak for DUmmies! In today's DUFU, we drop in on the DUmmies as they discuss their own buzzwords and cliches, here in this THREAD, "What's your LEAST favorite buzzword or cliche often seen on DU?"

So you longtime DUFUists: Do the DUmmies recognize all their hackneyed expressions, or are they missing some? Let's find out, as we hear them speak trite to power, in Retread Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, able to spot prog postings in a single noun, is in the [brackets]:

What's your LEAST favorite buzzword or cliche often seen on DU?

[I'm a DUmmie--ask me anything!]

For example, someone brought up the term "straw man" the other day, which IS ubiquitous and overused. . . .

[It's the straw that broke the example's back.]

I think my least favorite is sheeple.

[People . . . people who write "sheeple" . . . are the f***iest people in the world. . . .]

It's a pretentious, arrogant expression--I can never imagine anyone saying it without a sneer on their face--that implies the poster is an enlightened figure trapped within a crowd of dullards.

[That's "DUllards."]

it gives strength to the ugly conservative stereotype that liberals are elitist know-it-alls who look down on the majority of their fellow Americans.

[That's "Murkins."]

"repuke"

[Too long. Just shorten it to "puke."]

I hate the whole practice of twisting someone's name into a childish insult--that's what the Freepers like to do. . . . Of course, occasionally, someone will come along with a name that's just begging for ridicule--John Boehner, for example. Then I guess it's OK.

[I hate it except for when I think it's OK.]

Same with "banksters"...if you want to be taken seriously, just call them what they are, "blood-sucking maggot bankers"

[THERE it is! The old standby. I wondered how long it would take to get there.]

UnReKKK

[ReKKKless abandon.]

Really... you want to compare an organization that lynches people with someone (often accidentally) clicking a button to vote down your (circle all that apply: poorly written/poorly researched/fearmongering/irrelevant/flame-baiting/sophomoric/pretentious/cryptoconservative/boring/misleadingly titled/duplicate/navel gazing/attention seeking/time-wasting) thread?

[/ much?]

"Tax the Rich." No specifics on what they consider rich, how much should be taxed, what should be taxed (wealth or income), or what the money should be used for (deficit reduction or increased spending).

Sunday, May 15, 2011

DUmmie whines: "I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See."

It's the Daze of Whine and Poses at DUmmieland. But then, I repeat myself. For DUmmies are nothing if not a bunch of whiney liberals. Case in point: DUmmie ChoppinBroccoli, who is upset because he might have to do something on his own to take care of his parental responsibiliities, rather than have the government do it for him. You see, the taxpayers in his district chose not to pass an additional levy, so now ChoppinBroccoli, poor baby, might actually have to transport his own kid to all-day kindergarten, rather than having a school bus do it for him. WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

ChoppinBroccoli blames the EEEE-vil rich for this, of course, those greedy misers who won't pay an extra $15 so his kid can take a bus. ChoppinBroccoli is so mad, he posted this THREAD, "I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See."

Now the kicker is, ChoppinBroccoli is a LAWYER, and he lives in a nice SUBURB, so it's not like he's some poor shlub like bobbolink, living in the back of a Buick. If he doesn't have any friends or family willing to help, he could well afford to take care of some other arrangement for his child's transportation. But he's a Democrat, so he expects other people to pay his bills and do everything for him.

So let us hop on the short bus and get dropped off at DUmmieland, where the comments are in Read-Whine Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who somehow manages to get his daughter to school without a bus, is in the [brackets]:

I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See

[That's some violent rhetoric there, ChoppinBroccoli. Are you a Broccoli stalker?]

Just a little background information first. My oldest son turned 5 this month and is going to be starting Kindergarten in the fall. In the school district where we live, there are several elementary schools, but only one of them has all day, every day Kindergarten. . . .

[Choppin looked, but he couldn't find a 24/7 kindergarten.]

Well, last week, we found out that our son got into the all day Kindergarten program, so we were pretty excited about that.

[WHEEEEEE!!!]

Between my wife and I, our work schedules would have taken a serious hit trying to accommodate pick-ups and drop-offs for just a half-day Kindergarten program, and we were stressing out over how we would get that to work. . . .

[WAAAAAAH!!!]

because the recent school levy (voted on last week) was defeated, the school district was cutting out all transportation services (aka busing). Translation: I'm going to have to drive my child to school every day in the Fall.

[NO! SHOCKING!! UNHEARD OF!!! How could they be so CRUEL????]

but the doors to the elementary school don't open until 9:05 a.m.

[UN-BE-LIEEEEEEEEEEV-ABLE!!]

Guess what time I normally need to be in Court on the days I have Court.

[Mm, 9:05 a.m.?]

And since EVERY PARENT with a child in that school will ALSO be driving his/her child to school that day, what do you think the chances are that I'll be able to drive up to the door, drop him off, give him a quick good-bye, and then get immediately back on the road, given the line of cars trying to do the same thing?

[WOW! The prisoners on the Gulag Archipelago didn't have it this hard!]

Here's what irks me about this whole thing. We live in a fairly well-to-do suburb of Columbus. . . . In the run-up to the vote on the school levy issue, there was a very visible and well-funded "Vote No on Issue 7" campaign waged. . . . And nothing would upset me more than to drive home through the "rich neighborhood" and see these HUGE houses with "Vote No on 7" signs in their front yards.

[D*mn democracy! Who do those voters think they are??]

Yeah, I'm sure that extra fifteen bucks you're going to have to pay in taxes to support your local schools is going to REALLY break your bank, @ssholes.

[Mr. Lawyer ChoppinBroccoli, who lives in this well-to-do suburb, fails to see the irony in his not wanting to spend $15 of his own to pitch in on carpooling.]

So I said . . . only HALF-facetiously, that every time I have a scheduling conflict that makes it difficult to drop my son off at school at 9:05 in the morning, I'm going to drive him up to the door of one of these houses with the "Vote No on 7" signs in the yard and tell them, "Here. YOU drive him to school today. Hope you choke on your 15 bucks, @sshole."

[ChoppinBroccoli is only $15 away from having No Child Left Behind.]

I'm getting so d*mn sick of living in "all taxes are evil" land.

[You tell, 'em, Choppin! DOWN with democracy! DOWN with voting! UP with taxes! Get a BUS, for Gaia's sake, and come get this kid off my hands!]

[Now to the other DUmmies . . .]

End corporate fascism in this country. It is dangerous!

[Whatever the problem--no money for school buses, jobs being outsourced, lint--the cause is always the same: corporatist facist pigs.]

An ounce of money for good schools is worth a pound of money for prisons.

[If somebody doesn't come up with that 15 bucks to get Choppin's boy on a bus, HE'LL END UP DOING HARD TIME! Come ON, people!!]

We really need all adults in this country to go through a remedial educational program to understand the whole point of taxes and of collective action.

[Load 'em on a bus and send 'em off to Reeducation Camp!]

As it is now, the Stupid is phenomenal.

[The Stupid is strong with this one.]

when you have so much and you don't want to share a simple $15 bucks more in taxes to help our future - our children - do better so they can compete with children around the world, that's taking greed to a whole new low. And, sadly, this new phenomenon is very much exclusively an American affliction.

[MOVE THAT BUS!]

I think we have a sociopathic country, perhaps a term is sociopathic capitalism.

[I thought the term was corporate fascism.]

Just ask them if they would prefer educated tax paying people or criminals breaking into their houses.

[Save JuniorBroccoli from a life of crime! Only $15! My G*D, people!]

That's a pretty healthy whine you typed up. It's called life. Deal with it.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

you have a practical issue to deal with and i suggest trying to find a parent in your neighborhood who needs a few extra bucks and would be willing to care for your child during those hours when you must be at work.

[Wow, what a concept! Coming up with a non-government solution!]

Do you want your child in "all day every day Kindergarten" so he will advance educationally? Or, is it more beneficial as a sort of "all day every day" day care....so you and your wife can pursue your professional interests?

My oldest son is very advanced for his age, and he's been in a daycare that has given him an education (as opposed to just watching him and playing with him while we work) for the last 5 years.

[Translation: We dumped him off as soon as he was born.]

Can't say I blame the voters for shooting down the levy if a significant portion of it was to pay for transportation of children to a magnet school because parents want the luxury of more school hours to accommodate their work schedules. Sounds like you'll have to do what about 99% of all other working parents do - either hire someone to watch your children before and after school or put them in private kindergarten.

[OK, ChoppinBroccoli won the Whiney Liberal Award, but YOU, DUmmie lynne, you win today's Kewpie Doll for your Brief Moment of Mental Clarity®! Go to the head of the class! . . . Back to Choppin for summing up . . .]

All 3 of my kids have been in daycare since they were born. The younger 2 still are, and will continue to be. Our oldest is going to school NOT to have somebody to watch him while we work, but because we actually want our kids to go to school. I thought every parent wanted education for their child, but apparently I was wrong.

[Some parents actually want to form a bond with their children, instead of shipping them off to strangers, but hey, that's me.]

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Pied Piper Pitt Day Fifth Anniversary

I’ve gone 6 months without smoking! My sacred lungs have been untarnished by toxic nicotine fumes that whole time. Not once did I ever relapse and suck down hard on a cigarette.

Okay. Whom am I kidding here? Of course I relapsed. I mean why do you think no more triumphalist postings from me on this topic since I BRAGGED about hitting the 50 day no smoking mark?

So why this confession? Because it is sooooo much better for you to rag on me for having absolutely no willpower than for you to remember this date. What date? Let me give you a hint: it was the date that Patrick Fitzgerald indicted Karl Rove. MERRY FITZMAS!

Unfortunately for me, May 12, 2006 turned out to be not so merry. It marked my final downfall from which I could not recover even after the span of 24 business hours. And now we have hit the fifth anniversary of that memorable day which shall forever tarnish the Magic Man.

Yes, I wish you would forget all about that day just like I wish I could forget that I ever knew that degenerate thieving drug addict, Jason Leopold. Oh how I wish I could go back in a time machine five years and tell Leopold, "Geez Jason. How about if you take your sealed/unsealed indictment and shove it!" Instead I eagerly grasped at Leopold's indictment fantasy and enthusiastically ran with it. At the time it seemed like the smart thing to do. I mean David Shuster (who was getting his info from Jason as well) practically guaranteed an indictment was imminent. But it was not to be.

Oh Dear God in heaven, in whom I do not believe, why hast thou forsaken your Willie Boy? All I needed was that indictment and the world would have been my oyster. Instead of pacing a tiny square of pavement in front of Bukowki's late at night as a phony bouncer, I would have been the toast of Boston and beyond. Big shot politicos would have made their way to my table at fine steak restaurants to shmooze the guy who scooped the Rove indictment story. I would have been a regular guest on MSNBC or, perhaps, had my own show. Instead I have turned myself into the object of derision and mockery, with my lips forever joined for all eternity to Jason Leopold's butt. Leopold and Lib. And Lib can NEVER escape that unfortunate connection.

Yeah, Jason, I wish I never heard of you. Unfortunately, I have to continue to stick to the fantasy that there is still a possibility of a Karl Rove indictment yet to be made known to the public in the form of a sealed indictment. I have no choice. However, I dearly wish I could just throw Leopold under the bus. In the meantime have you noticed the words "Jason Leopold" have never left my lips? Just like you NEVER hear me say the words "Scott Ritter." If I ever have to refer my non-person co-author of a New York Times vanity press "bestseller" that never went above about #900,000 on Amazon, it will be as "Temporary ScottPuppet." It was the misfortune of Temporary ScottPuppet that he does not have a wealthy family member that could have checkbooked his way out of a conviction on a pervo charge. From now on let us just pretend that Temporary ScottPuppet doesn't even exist. So stay away from me Temporary ScottPuppet and while you're at it, stay away from any Newton schoolyards.

I think you get an idea now of how low a noble descendent of William Pitt the Elder as well as Younger has fallen. BTW, has anybody actually looked into the genealogy of those distinguished British Pitts. It turns out that William Pitt the Younger had no children. Yes, he did have a brother but he also had no children. So maybe I was related to William Pitt the Elder by a back door. Well, the Elder did have a brother, Thomas, who would have been flying a rainbow flag over his home had any existed back then. Thomas the Rainbow, despite his proclivities, had a son also named Thomas but guess what? Son Thomas had no children. No Pitts from either the William Pitt the Elder line nor from that of his only brother but guess what? I'm just going to allow the pretense that I am descended from the distinguished British Pitts stand. At least they did not end up as pretend bar bouncers pacing the sidewalk.

So enjoy your Pied Piper Pitt celebrations. It is a day that I would just as soon forget just like I would like to forget the hell that my life has become.

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Communist DUmmies and SEIU March Together in May Day Parade

Have you ever had liberals tell you that you are exaggerating about the extent of communist influence upon our society? Specifically on labor unions, universities, and other liberal groups. Well, here is a special photo essay of a May Day parade last Sunday in Los Angeles that clearly demonstrates the alignment of the SEIU and the communists. Note that along with the communists, you can see their SEIU pals nearby and/or mingling with them. Fortunately a photographer called RINGO performed the duty that the L.A. Times and other news organizations failed to do by providing extensive photographic evidence of the alignment of the SEIU with their communist pals. These same news organizations are the ones who micro-analyze signs at Tea Party rallies for any evidence of imaginary fascism. When we see clear evidence of flat out communism at this May Day parade which is chock full of SEIU members...complete silence on their part. Note the SEIU sign right behind the commie chick holding her "Fight For Communism Sign."

"SMASH CAPITALISM." How many times have we read that sentiment in DUmmieland? Note the plethora of SEIU signs and purple shirts all around this Commie.

Is that our own Troglaman on the far left above holding the Commie sign? Come on...'Fess up Troggy.

An SEIU clown drops all pretenses and carries the Bolshevik Red flag above.

"Mobilize The Masses For Communism!" And that is just what the SEIU is helping their Communist buddies do in this May Day Parade which was completely ignored by the MSM. Oh, and how many of the folks in this May Day crowd have DUmmie screen names. My guess is quite a few...both SEIU members and Communists and/or both. Is there a difference?

Sunday, May 01, 2011

DUmmies Get Outraged About Chamber of Commerce Document Release

The DUmmies are once again proving how incredibly DUmb they are. Supposedly a web clown named anonymous released "secret" Chamber of Commerce files in a huge wikileaks type download consisting of thousands of documents. Of course, the DUmmies immediately suspected these documents were damning. WRONG! It turns out that the documents were not only innocuous but were already available to everybody on the Web. Don't believe me? Well, here is an update to the original POST about this document release in KOmmieLand:

Anonymous posted this to their site anonnews.org

On April 29th a person using the twitter account “@septscelles” released a large file to Barrett Brown that purportedly contained secret US Chamber of Commerce documents. This file was later made available via File Dropper as a (strangely truecypted) torrent named "chambersecrets2". It is also reported to have been made available in an unencrypted form on the Pirate Bay.

Despite the promise of secrets and leaks, early research has thus far shown that this information is publicly available through a simple Google search. It's very possible that “@septscelles” is just an attention seeking troll. Despite this, there is a more insidious possibility. We learned from the HB Gary emails that the Chamber of Commerce was advised to “feed the fuel between the feuding groups, [creating] disinformation." Specific mention was made of "[creating] messages around actions to sabotage or discredit the opposing organization [and to] submit fake documents and then call out the error…”

The file is very large, and will therefore take some time to fully examine. Nevertheless, we would like to state that this information was provided by an unknown party and may be an attempt to discredit Anonymous through a campaign of misinformation. More information will be coming soon.

OOPS! However, in the meantime and even after this revelation, the DUmmies went whole hog in attributing all sorts of nefarious misdeeds to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce based on NOTHING as you can see in their THREAD, "BREAKING: Anonymous Hits Chamber." So let us now watch the DUmmies getting outraged in Bolshevik Red over an innocuous document release they didn't even read while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting once again where the DU in DUmb comes from, is in the [brackets]:

As we speak I'm sitting on a mile high pile of, I guess, unauthorized data released about the US Chamber of Commerce. Thousands and thousands of docs released a few hours ago. Wanna help read through the docs and see what horrific secret things the Chamber is up to? There's thousands of these docs.

[Translation: I haven't even read the documents but I am already convinced there is damning evidence against the Chamber of Commerce. Oh, and I'm too lazy to actually pore through this massive pile of material so, um, could you do it for me?]

******This document release contains content from the American LegislativeExchange Council, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, and the Mackinac Center.

[Which already existed on the Web before Anonymous "released" it. And now to the DUmmies experiencing massive urinations of happiness in their diapers without even knowing what is in the documents...]

oo fun fun fun

[I'm soooo HAPPY!!! I have absolutely no idea what is in those documents but I know they must make the Chamber of Commerce look bad. OH JOY!!!]

Maybe someday the Chamber (R) will actually support America & Americans. That would be nice change of pace...Though I doubt the exposed documents will reveal anything they have done that was in fact helpful for America, since the Chamber (R) is so clearly anti-honor & anti-integrity, and so into deviant fellating of predatory multinational RepubliCorps (R) with allegiance only to PROFIT.

[More preemptive OUTRAGE with absolutely NO knowledge of what the docs contain...which turns out to be NOTHING controversial.]

I LOVE IT when LIARS get CAUGHT!!!!!

[I LOVE IT when DUMMIES get EXPOSED!!!!!]

Important: You'll also need a torrent client like utorrent or BitTorrent to receive the documents...and you'll need TrueCrypt to decode ithttp://www.filedropper.com /... To open the file you will also need something called TrueCrypt which you can download here.

[To receive the documents you only need a connection to the Web since it is has been there all this time.]

The Chamber is no fan of the working man (and woman). I hope youall find lots of crap.

[Sorry. None found. Freudenschade, baby!]

I hope this isn't a trap....

[A trap set by the left which ensnared themselves. That's why you are called DUmbmmies.]

they are not Americans either traitors to the poor and slaves tothe rich but now we know don't we

[But now we know just how DUmb the DUmmies are.]

I bet that pile has lots of shit. They need a name change. U.S. Chamber of all about Richie Rich.

[You bet wrong and now you have to pay up in the form of public humiliation in the DUmmie FUnnies, DUmmie lonestarnot.]

insatiable greed millions isn't enough billions isn't enough.now they want trillions. it reminds me of Dickens when the rich kept squeezing the poor over and over again

[Another DUmmie flapping his mouth with absolutely NO idea of what is in the documents.]

how about Chamber of Whore-ers? Whoring for their corporate puppetmasters, that is

[How about Chamber of DUmmies?]

This makes me *so* happy. In fact, I was hoping for something like this a few weeks ago when a thread came through headed "Wisconsin, Anonymous is listening.

[Anonymous is just $10 away from getting Kloppy elected in Wisconsin.]

I hope there are scores of qualified dems and progressivesporing through those files right now.

[Fantastic! A terrific waste of time!]

I'm waiting to see some actionable intelligence that can be turned into direct action

[And you'll keep waiting and waiting and waiting and...]

I was just wondering yesterday why we hadn't heard from Anonymous in a while, and suspected that perhaps they were up to something entertaining.Guess they were!

[Yup, they sure were! They were providing us with comedic entertainment of innocuous documents already available on the Web to illustrate just how FUnnie the DUmmies are.]

the intense response to these leaks is proof they won't get away with it.

[And you won't get away with evading the DUFU microscope.]

that's a damn huge file. waiting for snippets of the good stuff to appear online.

[NEWSFLASH! It has already been online but don't let that stop you from wasting weeks looking for nothing.]

And let's hope a gameplan is revealed to explain how so many R's were "elected" as governors in order to implement ALEC's legislation.

[Take a look in the Dr. Evil file that doesn't exist.]

The Chamber is salting the peer network with malware-containing fake files... Peerblock is going nuts with hosts identified as "malware infested" trying to connect to people downloading this torrent.

[That's what you get for not accessing the files already publicly available via Google.]

Trying to download now and see if I can do anything with it.

[Nothing except printing it out and using for TP.]

I'm salivating...can't wait to see all the goodies.

[Will you salivate when you see how DUmb you are at the DUmmie FUnnies, DUmmie KathieG?]

Has there been a news or press release yet?

[Only a DUFU release. And thanx for the comedy gold!]

I don't think we have to hang more than thirty or forty bankers. And CEOs. If destroying the economic stability of the world isn't a capital crime, nothing is.

[How about if you hang your head in shame for being so DUmb, DUmmie aquart. Good screen name because you are aquart too low in the intelligence department.]

Total public funding. Nothing less. Smash the bribe machine. We need to shut down DC until they obey.

[Declared DUmmie alfredo from his crib.]

Man I was having trouble with it crashing. Looks like I will have it totally downloaded soon.

[Congratulations on downloading absolutely nothing.]

It said something about a file connected with NVidea. So I upgraded Nvidea and that might have resolved the issue. And restarting after the upgrade. I was using BitTorrent to download it.

[Have you tried going to Google and using point and click?]

I'm a fast reader and writer---will be wading through once you send some info. Chamber of Horrors is about to be revealed for the true whore-er it is.

[Great. It will only take you a couple of weeks instead of a full month to completely waste your time.]

It is nearly 1.25 gigabyte of data.

[It is nearly 1.25 gigabyte of the data equivalent of reading the labels on soup cans.]

This is thrilling news and the kind of transparency we need.

[Yes, your utter stupidity is certainly transparent for all to see and laugh at, DUmmie AnneD.]

Can't wait for the Rachel detectives to digest this

[Yes, she needs to make more of a fool of herself than she already is.]

It's Christmas, Yay

[I thought it was Fitzmas.]

Grabbing my copy now - should I pop some popcorn, brew an urn of coffee. Oh SNAP - this is gonna be juicy.

[Yup! Yet more juicy entertainment in the form of unintended comedy from the DUmmies who are getting worked up over NOTHING yet again.]

Why haven't Mainstream Media outlets mentioned a word about this?

[Stand by as the DUmmie get slapped hard by the bitter truth from another DUmmie...]

Because it's all publicly available already anyways. This is just an aggregation of material.

[Oops!]

WTH am I looking at. Good grief. Lots of newspaper articles, How to market charter schools this is gonna take a while to get through..

[A DUmmie starts to realize that the "revealing" material is completely innocuous but that won't stop him from continuing to waste his time.]

The Asian Brochure NEW talks all about increasing trade and economic business opportunities between Asia and the U.S. but I fall to see any discussion about U.S. or Asian workers. Fair wages, real fair trade instead of the onesided Walmart mess we see so much of....

[Yawn! Could you please just start reading soup can labels? It is so much more interesting.]

I can't get it. there is no seed. If they are trying to stop it -- and they may very well fight with maximum ruthlessness and the purist evil -- then we need to fight back with everything we've got.

[Yeah, that evil Chamber was hiding it in plain sight all this time on Google.]

I downloaded the file in a total of 72 minutes and am still seeding right now, so I don't think the file has become unavailable. Plus, even if this torrent became broken, thousands have the file now and anyone could easily create another torrent, so there is no stopping this information. Though, after looking through these files for a little while, I have mostly found documents that are already online. In other words, most of these documents aren't insider documents with scandalous information, but these documents are mostly a nice collection of bullshit from each of these organizations.

[LOL! A DUmmie wastes all that time and effort downloading massive files that he is disappointed to find reveal NOTHING! Plus he now finds they were already available online.]

[A DUmmie links to the Anonymous update in KOmmieland showing just how DUmb they have been about this document "release" all along.]

Someone made mention before that there's really nothing malignant in the release. it does seem to be mostly propaganda brochures, itineraries (or whatever you call them) for meetings and trips, etc. real light weight stuff. I really saw nothing scandalous (could be wrong as I didn't go through all of it).

[It's just now dawning on some of the DUmmies just how DUmb they were about this.]

anon is now saying there is not much in the release and that it may contain misinformation

[anon is now saying that the DUmmies are incredibly DUmb. After this revelation, demoralization has now infected this thread as they realize what fools they made of themselves while wasting their time over NOTHING. However, good news. It wasn't a complete waste since it served to provide the DUmmie FUnnies with some of its best comedy material ever. Thanx, DUmmies!]

About Me

I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
pjcomix@gmail.com. If you are anybody else, you can contact me there too. Remember, if you are a book publisher, please feel free to embarrass me with an extravagant book advance.