going galt

Live, Work And Play In New Development For You And All Your Idaho Militia Friends!

Any second now there will be zombies and tidal waves and brown people climbing up on your roof and eating your virgin daughter’s brains. What should you do? Where should you go? Why not live out these trying times in a castle in Idaho, surrounded by a loving community of like-minded Patriots? The only rules are that you must prove that you can shoot a gun once a year every year after you turn 13. Oh, and you can’t be “a Liberal.” That’s about it — there’s a preamble about respecting other people, and a mention about submitting to arbitration panels, and roughly 10 rules that have to do with when and under what circumstances you must fire a gun. These rules are written in the Patriot Agreement, which is CLEARLY a supplement to, not a substitute for, the Constitution they love so very very much. It is basically the greatest HOA ever!

Patriots: The following represents a voluntary set of conditions to which every single resident who accepts a residence in the Citadel must agree, in writing. This is a voluntary agreement. The Citadel is a martial endeavor, and is not the best housing solution for everyone.

Preamble: We the People come together in this covenant of our free will and do pledge our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor to defend one another and Jefferson’s Rightful Liberty, defined as unobstructed action according to our will within limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others. We further affirm our intent to abide all Constitutional laws of the United States of America and the State of Idaho.

Also, Liberals are forbidden, so keep that in mind. But! There will be a Firearms Museum! And shops! And a Church! That’s not so bad, is it? REAL AMERICA.

The Citadel will have between 3,500 and 5,000 households within the walls, with a single gate permitting access. The Citadel is not to be a closed society, instead a refuge for genuine Patriots who wish to live without neighbors who are Liberals and Establishment political ideologues, open for tourists who will be welcomed into our town to visit our planned Firearms Museum, shop in our Town Center, stay in a B&B or hotel while vacationing and exploring the wonderful skiing, hunting and fishing opportunities in the area, and many other attractions we will offer.

If you are a patriotic American who believes in Jefferson’s Rightful Liberty, who believes in the Constitution as written, who believes in the Declaration of Independence, and who wishes to live in a beautiful, secure mountain town that bans Liberals from living among us, consider exploring the Citadel as we evolve and build. If you need to escape your suburban life and the vulnerabilities your family faces, consider the Citadel.

You guys in? You just have to believe in a literal interpretation of the Constitution and not be a liberal, no big deal. You have to love America so very very much. So much that you expect it to totally go to hell within a decade or so because its very institutions can’t handle the pressures of a 21st century world. Also you have to be cool with living in a giant walled community that’s kind of like a castle with a moat — but without a foundation–filled with armed 13-year olds. Nothing could possibly go wrong, amiright?

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over.
@Kris_E_Benson

I would like to thank my mother and father, my beautiful wife and children, NOW, GO TO BED!, my agent, Jose Con Limon, and all the little people who have helped me snark throughout the years… you know who you are. This Wonkee is for YOU!!

Bit of epoxy on the front door once they're all inside oughta handle things.

Dimitrios_M

Wait until they're all filled up and then hammer in the bung.

pdiddycornchips

I am in favor of the wingnuts moving into walled encampments surrounded by armed guards. It's so much easier than ferreting them out of urban hellholes;

ButthurtWingers2012

Now you're getting it….nothing says liberty like a strict interpretation of the constitution with no dissent tolerated. I love the 'no lib-rals' part of it…nothing says liberty like living in a vacuum and forcefully preventing people with alternate ideals from expressing their opinion…reminds me a lot of Maoist China, especially during the Cultural Revolution. Did you all know that the guy who effectively ended Maoism in all its grandiose stupidity was exiled twice for failing to be Communist enough? Deng Xiaoping. Purged. Twice. I wonder how wingnuttsville will handle it if anyone ever argues that maybe the consti-matution was written as a living document to be adaptable to society…purging time!

Oblios_Cap

open for tourists who will be welcomed into our town to visit our planned Firearms Museum, shop in our Town Center, stay in a B&B or hotel while vacationing and exploring the wonderful skiing, hunting and fishing opportunities in the area, and many other attractions we will offer.

I'm sure these Real 'Mericans will exclude Liberals and their money, so as to remain true to all Constitutional laws of the United States of America and the State of Idaho.

I wonder who decides if law is Constitutional?

BadKitty904

Wait 'til the first "brown" tourists show up…

elviouslyqueer

So Christianity is a philosophy and not a religion, eh? Fine. Then let's see those motherfucking "philosophical places of deep thinking and ponderation" start paying their motherfucking taxes.

Just once, I'd like to see these dopes try and go about their days lugging around hand-fulls of shiny, heavy discs as money. If you thought a pocket full of change was bad…

sullivanst

It'd be mildly entertaining to attempt to pay for a week's stay at their four star hotel entirely in pennies. "Wait there a minute, I'll just back up my truck. It's a semi."

ButthurtWingers2012

Oblios…it's obvious isn't it? I mean okay, this might be a bit roundabout but I'm not the first one to notice the similarity between wingnuts and Stalin and Mao. In fact, when researching authoritarianism Professor Altemeyer noticed a odd occurance between right wing authoritarians and kissing up to established (read legitimate) power. What he found is these guys would be perfectly at home with Stalin's USSR and Mao's China…they'd be the ones who launched the coup as the establishment fell or who emphatically purged people during the Cultural Revolution…all we're seeing here is just them enacting this very same campaign but being hamstrung by stupidity and lack of self awareness…they think bullshit like this is protecting liberty haha…..

hagajim

First it was the white supremacists, now its the assholes. My poor former home state just can't catch a break. Oh, and there are about 9 liberals in the entire state so this should not be a problem.

SorosBot

Now I strongly suspect that many of these assholes are the white supremacists, so they're nothing new there.

hagajim

Good point.

Negropolis

Yep, that's how it was in Michigan. We had our own personal Idaho called Livingston County, home to the local klan. When they became less popular, they simply transformed into the "survivalists" and tea party that know inhabits the county. They didn't go anywhere; they just got a new brand.

ButthurtWingers2012

Oh hell YES they are…there's no coincidence between this selection of sites and the old neo-nazi enclaves in Coer D'Alene (I lived in Boise for 3 years…spaghetti help me). I'll be willing to BET if this stupid assed site ever gets built (it won't be for a simple reason: right wing shitheads often have TERRIBLE credit so they won't be able to get financing) they'll discriminate the hell out of any seriously confused brown or black person who tries to move in (not that anyone will…people of color aren't stupid hence why they don't vote Republican)…this is the ultimate attempt of white flight…bunch of hillbillies…

BaldarTFlagass

I know one of them! She lives in Idaho Falls!!!

emmelemm

You know another one! His name is Dok Zoom!

BaldarTFlagass

I meant in a biblical way.

emmelemm

Well, I never!

BaldarTFlagass

Whereas, I always…

hagajim

You can add another from that neck of the woods…not to you sexytime tally, but my Dad lives there and he's a lib…and old too.

No way…that's the car name? But I always thought it was a 1978 Falcon Interceptor Special (yes I do love "Road Warrior")…still, that's a pretty awesome nickname. I'd so totally infiltrate that den of stupid if I could drive the Roadwarrior car…it would be totally worth it. Especially if you could like, talk over a loudspeaker outside their idiot camp "just walk away….and I will spare your lives"…"just walk away, from the horror"…literally, too…that place is going to suck harder than two porn starlets in a suck-start competition.

SuspectedDemocrat

Welcome to White Pride-a-ho!

BadKitty904

"The Citadel," in Idaho = Jonestown, with a side o' fries.

RedneckMuslin

Yes, you have to drink the Kool Aid to enter.

StillGoinGreen

Freedom fries, I presume.

*pukes*

SigDeFlyinMonky

But there are no jokes about Jonestown… because the punch lines are too long!

"Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England. "

Stevola

"But I don"t want it!"

Oblios_Cap

Go for the Super Tuber, stay for the ambiance.

bikerlaureate

We further affirm our intent to abide all Constitutional laws of the United States of America and the State of Idaho.

Except that pesky Fair Housing Act, it would seem.

–

Also, how cool that "patriotic American" and "Liberal" are nonintersecting sets.

So we only have one gate to weld shut to relieve our country of 3500-5000 crazy households assholes?

Fixed.

VaWyo

I guess they will all die when a fire breaks out due to no regulations on electrical wiring, natural gas or weapons arsenals. There won't be a fire station either because that's socialist and many firefighters unionize. It will be so tragic.

keliel

I realize there's a lot of snark, but there is the potential for serious conflagration caused by one angry Patriot. Not to mention the potential for child/spousal abuse

Open sewer lines leading out into a lake used both for drinking water and their hoped for tourism. Welcome to the Third World, Patriots. Roads are for wussies who don't have 4wd SUV's.

Spider-Jerk

On the blog link, they are insisting that

"We plan to provide our own infrastructure and [sewer and water*] services. We don't believe in stealing from others to pay for what will benefit us, which is what taxes amount to. We will pay our taxes, though, so the county should end up way ahead financially. "

*In the end they will most likely combine them anyway.

Callyson

live in a beautiful, secure mountain town that bans Liberals from living among us

Will they allow for teh secessionist to move in, or are they too librul?

SorosBot

They'll have all their guns, the meth labs, and private security and emergency responders; that sounds like a great recipe for disaster.

CrunchyKnee

Jesus didn't tawk about no gol darned glo-ball worming!!!!!!111!!!!11

FNMA

Where do I sign up? I've always wanted to live on a compound!

SigDeFlyinMonky

For your neighbors downwind I hope it's not a sulpher compound.

Dimitrios_M

Compound or compost?

BadKitty904

I'm surprised they chose a location so conveniently close to the FEMA death camps next door in Wyoming…

hagajim

Yeah, but its north Idaho, so they'd have to go through Montana to get to them.

JustPixelz

According to "Friend of Liberty" there are several FEMA camps in Idaho. Obviously this "Citadel" thing is an Obama trick to get TP'ers to self-deport so as to concentrate themselves in one place. Then shut the one door and — oopsies — they're all gone but forgotten.

schvitzatura

Better for the teatards to go Galt in an urban environment, then; kind of like MOVE did with great vigor in Cobbs Creek, Philly, PA on May 13, 1985…you see what I did there, right?

Negropolis

Big Sky Country libel!

kingcocrazy

Need a mortgage? Move on, pilgrim. You can't trust those Jew bankers. Cash on the barrelhead, pardner. And by "cash," I mean gold or diamonds. Federal Reserve notes are part of the plot against our freedom!

HouseOfTheBlueLights

So I'm guessing they won't take my Ameros either then.

elviouslyqueer

The folks in the Citadel will wear clothes – I bet the dress shops and clothing stores will like that.

"The 1968 act expanded on previous acts and prohibited discrimination concerning the sale, rental, and financing of housing based on race, religion, national origin, and since 1974, gender; since 1988, the act protects people with disabilities and families with children."

Guppy

complete homeowner services

Performed by Mexican Catholics treated in a very unCatholic manner, no doubt.

GunToting[Redacted]

Christian-based real estate? I'm trying to picture this, but having no luck whatsoever.

BadKitty904

"Holy ground," presumably…

GunToting[Redacted]

Yeah… I was trying to incorporate transubstantiation or something similar. Hot and cold running wine? I got nothin'.

BadKitty904

"Promised land," maybe?

Stevola

In Fla? Stand your holy ground…

Biel_ze_Bubba

Catholic and Christian based real estate, financial and complete homeowner services … and a Cathofundie law school.
"Community-controlled" cable programming (and a ban on rooftop antennas) would not surprise me. It's like North Korea, with the added misery of religion.

BadKitty904

But the garb of the community's rulers is MUCH more *fabulous*!

emmelemm

And the weather's so much warmer!

T3rbo

Totally confused, is gay marriage OK in a Jeffersonian Democracy? Will they let gays move in as long as they are conservative and can shoot a gun and perform the other Festivus shows of strength? Do you need to be able to do a hog call before they let you into their Utopia? I need more details…

VaWyo

Not sure about gay marriage. But we do know that interracial sex was ok in a Jeffersonian Democracy. As was slavery.

Biel_ze_Bubba

And the wimmenz don't vote.

Negropolis

Virginian is for Lovings libel!

Dimitrios_M

Hog calling is only required if you wish to date. (Men, women, or hogs.)

Lazy Media

How do they define "Liberal?" Because I own guns and serve in the military, but I DEFINITELY want to be excluded.

T3rbo

anyone who has ever read a book not published by Glenn Beck. No Utopia for you

BadKitty904

"Anyone not exactly like us."

T3rbo

You can spot a liberal by his lack of a gigantic belly, usually

vulpes82

*Hides commie-pinko gut*

T3rbo

you may be our inside man/woman on this one…practice littering, in case it comes up. We need you inside of the Vodka distillery…

BadKitty904

Snark off: As a citizen, I'd like to personally thank you for serving in our armed forces! :0)

So if I show up and enter for the interview, during which I pull out an arsenal and start cleaning the guns, and they ask "Are you a pooftah liberal?" and I point my weapon (with votes!) at them, you really think they're going to ban me?

CommieLibunatic

I'd love to see them squirm in conflict as a LIEbrul cleans and services an anti-materiel rifle.

schvitzatura

The furniture on this one is pretty much a tree trunk; kinda like a 3-line rifle, Model 1891 Mosin Nagant, on crystal meth…

They'll still have to go in to Moscow (that's Idaho's Berkeley, dontcha know) to get smoked salmon jerky at the food co-op and the only decent pizza before you get to Walla Walla. Which means, of course, SOCIALISMz.

srsly, the Palouse is a great place and they don't need this shit

T3rbo

"The folks in the Citadel will wear clothes" THAT'S NOT IN THE FUCKING CONSTITUTION, STOP TREADING ON ME!!!!

poorgradstudent

Bets are on for how long until the place totally goes all "Bioshock."

Cicada

Nah. Bioshock's scenario requires a community that understands and embraces science. These folks are more likely to end up in a wasteland dystopia where the streets are littered with empty Big Mac wrappers and gangs of obese people roam the streets with guns mounted on their Hovarounds.

For that to happen, wouldn't they have to have working infrastructure of some kind first?

Although I suppose if Bioshock had been set on some best-forgotten stretch of land somewhere in the middle of nowhere, it could just have easily have worked as a fiefdom built on corrugated scrap and repurposed freightcars.

gullywompr

Why not? They've been living in an ideological cul-de-sac of their own making for years, about time they built a physical one.

Oblios_Cap

A vertiable Utopia for the common clay of the West.

You know, morons.

Blunderthing

I'll bet they have their own private religion as well. Church of the Closet Cases.

Disassembly

Mount Olympus?

HarryButtle

So, they're now building their own FEMA camps…for themselves? Win/Win!

A corral would be a much more stable structure to live in than whatever these nuts end up building, especially in a region where snow collects like crazy over the winter.

Disassembly

Oh boy, this is the perfect place to open my new slave market franchise!

Estproph

Can't we force all the stupids to hole up in there?

Schmannnity

Ruby Ridge is now a gated community.

HobbesEvilTwin

I will gladly help anyone moving there.

mbobier

I'm sure they will give their 13-year-olds a beautiful ceremony wherein the child in question recites a Bible verse about the sacred nature of firearms (that shouldn't take long, since there aren't any), takes a swig of Mountain Dew, blasts a shotgun at the sky, and says, "Today I am a Wingnut."

T3rbo

Very close-the temple will be an Applebee's with all of the teevees turned to NASCAR. And there is no bible verse-the new man (like they will let women do this!) will just recite a poem he wrote about niggers and spit as far as he can. It will be during the Daytona 500, right before it starts

DCBloom

Sounds a little like my Bat Mitzva

widestanceromance

Government-funded Rascals are confiscated at the gate, too, right? They are nothing more than dependency carts, after all.

I'd love to see a place in America where freedom-loving fat-asses crawl along the ground happy to do so.

Toomush_Infer

Koolaid for everybody!!!!!….

Tommy1733

OH YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

BigSkullF*ckingDog

I'll be taking bets on how long it takes before one really big meth-lab explosion and the resulting fire/chemical fallout kills most of the inhabitants.

BigSkullF*ckingDog

And sorry, no, the tax payer funded fire department will not be on its way. Now get the fuck off of our tax payer funded 911.

BadKitty904

And STAY off our tax-payer-funded roads and bridges!

widestanceromance

Too long.

qwerty42

Well, this should turn out well. Why do I think the only one who will come out ahead in this is the person(s) who sell the real estate? And the rest will be in their stalag camp wondering why visitors are so few?

Oblios_Cap

It's being "sponsored" by a arms seller (III Citadel Arms), and everybody in town agrees to carry a handgun at all times and have an AR-15, ammo, & a year's worth of vittles stored away. It's more than just the real estate agent getting rich.

qwerty42

So the whole thing is just a scam to feed off a bunch of poor paranoids. I feel they are being taken advantage of but I cannot imagine the'd take my word for it. I should make a comment about about 47% or something, but it just seems sad.

I wondered. As much as I disrespect banks, I couldn't imagine one that would finance this insanity.

emmelemm

"a year's worth of vittles stored away"

So, there'll be a lot of Mormons, then?

SuspectedDemocrat

The best part, they're all planning to work for the arms industry.

AnonymousDecember 5, 2012 9:16 AM
How do the residents plan to earn money?

Miss VioletDecember 5, 2012 10:34 AM
III Arms will provide initial jobs, then as people move and open businesses other jobs will become available, just like in any community

BaldarTFlagass

"The best part, they're all planning to work for the arms industry."

Once they get a government contract, they'll be In Like Flynn.

cousinitt

This is so genius, they'll never suspect. Obama will give their project federal funding, and invite all the loons and wingers, er, patriots, from all parts to settle in "Citadel". Because Freedom. Idaho secedes from the USA. And before you can say whud?, we'll pull the switch and the electronic dog fence goes up around Citadel. Puerto Rico becomes the new 50th state.

The town meetings will be hysterical, where they try to figure out what Thomas Jefferson would do about buring tires in your front yard.

T3rbo

Yeah, EVERYONE wearing the same stupid fucking faux 18th century garb, tripping over the thees and thous, demanding it is their right to smoke indoors during the meeting, brandishing sniper rifles. The same misquotes repeated thousands of times in a row (THOSE WHO SACRIFICE LIBERTY FOR FREEDOM DESERVE NONE OF THAT SHIT!), and the same grievances about pitbulls killing livestock over and over and over

BadKitty904

"What color would Thomas Jefferson have painted his mailbox?"

T3rbo

He would have consulted the CONSTITUTION and seen that only mauve is allowed, because freedom

Goonemeritus

‘You folks need to consider weather as they get a good portion of snow for 4-5 months. Not sure how much they plow either”

This was one of the comments on a proposed Idaho location. Worrying about the lack of public services doesn’t seem very libertarian.

emmelemm

Hale and hearty snow-shoveling for all! Good for your health! Freedom!

Poindexter718

When their utopian walled city turns into the living hell it surely will be and the Idaho National Guard is forced to airlift in food, President Hillary Clinton will begin the reconciliation process with a speech in Boise declaring her solidarity with the Citadel residents that will include the memorable line "Ich bin ein shit-eating grinner."

Wadisay

Just BTW, if anyone has a colony of fireants they want to get rid of, I know the perfect place.

OH man, the Entrepreneurs and Businesses page is comedy GOLD. They apparently plan on including within their walls a Beer Brewery and a Vodka Distillery (enjoy your dealings with Idaho's ABC, motherfuckers), a Medical Center (presumably one that doesn't trade in Obamacare), and a "Bank" (trading in hard metals along the Lakota Model). And I'm sure the proposed grocery store, farmer's market, 4-star or better hotel, and local branch of Cabela's will be thrilled to accept your hard metals and wampum in lieu of cash.

BigSkullF*ckingDog

Vodka? Sound Communistical.

FeloniousMonk

They'll just be living off the land — potato vodka.

Oblios_Cap

You gotta admire their Mormom-like belief in something so stupid most people would laugh them out of town.

vulpes82

A bunch of drunken gun-wielders in some desolate (but I'm sure very beautiful) stretch of Idaho? WHAT COULD GO WRONG?!!!

You laugh, but it sounds adorable to me. I'm picturing Portmerion, but with more visible gun turrets.

Everyone in town will leverage their home for cash; the bank will invest in shady 2nd mortgages and go bust. And then Walmart, Costco, and Ikea will move in to a huge empty tract just outside the walls, drain all the business from main street, and bankrupt the mom 'n pop shops selling Galt T shirts and coffee mugs. Also: Galt BBQ aprons. Will this town have any, youknow, jobs or industries? Because those will outsource to China.

That's when the Elders of Galtville will vote to pull up stakes, load up the SUVs, and head for the Donner Pass, aiming to cross into California before winter sets in.

BTW: Is that Victoria Jackson b/t the two wigged dudes in the picture?
She's looking better these days; lost some weight.

Terry

"…open for tourists who will be welcomed into our town to visit our planned Firearms Museum, shop in our Town Center, stay in a B&B or hotel while vacationing and exploring the wonderful skiing, hunting and fishing opportunities in the area, and many other attractions we will offer."

Finally — one place in America that'll be safe from the North Korean invasion.

GeorgiaBurning

it might as well be North Korea, once the first winter sets in

VodkaGoGo

So it's like Galts Gulch lite? Wall themselves off from society only leave a gate so as to continue to enjoy the benefits of the society they shun, like when junior inevitably shoots his dick off they'll take him to a hospitol outside the walls? Hmmm I want to say more about this but all I can really do is continue to paraphrase the article because, FUCK, it really is that simple.

I should have just stuck with my gut reaction which goes something like "FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

1,025,232 Arizona voters cast their ballot for President Obama in November. So … not even close. Besides, even in Flagstaff our Januaries don't resemble Moscow's.

OneYieldRegular

My apologies. I just spent a week there, so I was feeling ornery.

Baconzgood

I find this difficult to masterbate to.

BigSkullF*ckingDog

Just like porn, skip forward to the good part. You know, the inevitable stand off with the feds when the government tries to shut down the distillery for elevated levels of methanol in their products and the whole community goes apeshit.

Loch_Nessosaur

They can change their license plates from 'Famous Potatoes' to 'Potato Heads'.

BaldarTFlagass

Or "Famous Sieges"

SpiderCrab

America. Monetizing craziness from before you were born.

drewehartnyc

Actually if you read the comment threads, they don't sound that bad – they are okay with teh gays and will allow gay couples, follow laws, plan on building a Vodka distillery and two beer breweries. Doesn't sound that bad, for only the price of stating your respect of Jeffersonian principles – hopefully without the whole slavery thing.

BadKitty904

While I appreciate being "allowed," I think I'll just stay here in Reality, thanks…

Originally I was wondering how high the walls will be. If there's a wildfire in the area, they'd better be plenty high, and don't be callin the USFS to save their asses as sometimes happens in these rural developments.

Yipee! Where do I sign up to commit…er…I mean register….no wait, that's not right either….er….to enroll (!) my wingnut relatives in this city of light & liberty where gun shooting is mandatory and there is *literally* only one way out??

How long do you suppose it'll be before it's an abandoned ghost town with tumbleweeds blowing through the streets?

BaldarTFlagass

I'm visualizing the first scene of Last Picture Show.

BornInATrailer

In a planning snafu, this new compound is right next door to the Charles Worley fenced in area where they store the homos until they die out.

At least it'll make for a wacky sitcom.

Nopantsmcgee

It's kinda been an American Dream of mine to get all the paranoid schizophrenics in one place. Yay, for Idaho.

mormos

lol, you think your daughter is a virgin.

Mahousu

Ai Yai Yai Citadel?

Mojopo

Only one way in, and one way out. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

VaWyo

Yes, that worked out well for the ladies in the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory.

emmelemm

Or that Bangladeshi factory a hundred years later, give or take…

Mojopo

…and they're armed. Shhh, no worries. Just fine.

sullivanst

I see I'm not the only one that found the parallels striking. I was surprised not to see mention of Triangle in the media coverage of Bangladesh, although I didn't really see much of it.

Negropolis

That's what she said.

MrDorkbutt

I like the "3,500 and 5,000 households within the walls, with a single gate permitting access". They are one carelessly managed Marlboro Light away from turning Idaho into a blue state.

emmelemm

You mean a blazing yellow and orange state?

mavenmaven

I think this is great. FEMA should help build more places like this where "patriots" can live in isolated locked areas. Keep them "concentrated" in their little self imposed "camps".

carlgt1

It seems like a lot of trouble when you can just secede?

BaldarTFlagass

Didn't Philip K Dick already write about this kinda shit in The Man In The High Castle?

MrDorkbutt

How do I prove I am not a liberal? Do I have to show them the image of Nancy Reagan's face I had tattoo'd on my scrotum?

elfgoldsackring

"See, if I pull the skin taut: young Nancy. And release it again for old Nancy. Old Nancy, young Nancy, old…

Wile E. Quixote

That's not enough for these patriots, you have to show them an image of Ronald Reagan's scrotum that you had tattooed on your face, but I've heard that they'll also let in that guy who had the Romney/Ryan logo tattooed on the side of his head.

DalePues

Esto Perpetua.

BaldarTFlagass

"Eye Eye Eye"

As in "Dubya Dubya Eye Eye Eye"????

Monsieur_Grumpe

Come on Wingnutzs! You gotta admit that life without us Libtards would be really boring. What would you have to be outraged about anyway? The garbage being picked up late? Your wife forgetting the Cheez Whiz again? Kids flunking the Home Scooled Spellin™ test for the 15th time?

"As long as your structure is not anchored into the ground (portable, like a shed) you don't need to tell anyone, anything. If your structure is anchored with a foundation, permits and codes from the 2007 BOCA are the governing rules."

I can't wait until these idiots start building McMansions with no foundations in order to get around building codes. Can you imagine the gunfights that will ensue when Clem's 6 room house on a hill literally slides into his neighbors yard.

"But Gee, I built my house out of 26 sheds, how come it dont work good? DAMNED PROPERTY CODES!"

Good luck on getting their Committee for Patriotic Safety, or whatever they call it, to understand that distinction. Liberal, socialist, Marxist-Leninist, Maoist, Spartacist … they don 't know what it is, but they know they're agin it. Tell them you're an anarcho-Trotskyist and all they'll hear is "I am a bad person."

Four years of hearing Obama described as a socialist, with not many people breaking out in helpless laughter (thank you, Wonketeers), has worn me down. I hope I can get through another four without beating somebody over the head with a dictionary.

sullivanst

Hopefully I just tri set you off, rather than making the point I was snarking on too ambiguous ;)

rickmaci

Is it just me? The Shitadel sounds like a really crappy place to live. Lots of rules: you must do this, you can't do that. Don't think Jefferson would like the place; too aggressively autocratic and authoritarian, not really very democratic.

The last paragraph mentions the best part: this will be a walled assembly of 3500 armed wingnuts living in structures built with NO SAFETY REGULATIONS. Anybody want to start a pool – will "shitty electrical work" or "poorly-stored homemade ammunition" be the first disaster?

Our community is not for everyone. But if you think you and your family would like to live among real Patriots and to be prepared for an America when the SHTF, consider the Citadel.

Ha! Love that last part. Think of the Citadel for housing in this pre-shit hits the fan era.
So markedly professional.

AlaskaGrrl

Can I get the Kool-aid concession?

Shadowmuffin

If liberals aren't allowed in, can we penny their single gate shut?

ttommyunger

Idaho, the largest outdoor crapper ever. Hotter than the hinges of Hell half the time; the other half is so snow-covered you have to climb a tree to take a shit. Scenery that makes a Moonscape look lush and the cherry on top: locked in with a bunch of paranoid wing-nuts 24-7. So long as that offer from Beezlebub is still good, I think I'll pass; you know, the one about being in Hell with a broken back.

unclejeems

I bow to your ability to rant in good English, more or less.

ttommyunger

Mostly less, but thanks. ;)

unclejeems

Ah, New Jerusalem on the Salmon River. Good time, my friends, good times.

VicariousMe

I only have one question will the menfolk get their own personal Sally? I'm asking for a friend.

Oh man so much fail in this. Where to even begin…It's just so overwhelming! And oddly enough, this whole story reminds me more of Animal Farm than anything else. "All animals are created equal, but some animals are more equal than others!" Oh the irony that they don't have the awareness to recognize it ! HA! Myopia FTW!

Juicy_Stalin

I read through that entire website and.. jesus christ.. it has to be a satire.
1) CASTLE WALLS
2) ONE property owner (the plan is that somebody owns all the land and only has 30 year leases for tracts, that the leasees will have to improve with their own funds)
3) The residents have to pay tribute
4) One person makes the rules and can decide arbitrarily whatever they want is law and can expel you from the community. (No mention of jails or public executions yet)
5) Every household must offer one able bodied person over the age of 13 to serve in their militia.

These people aren't talking about creating a wingnut enclave, they are talking about creating a literal fiefdom out of the middle ages

GeneralLerong

Are these people unaware of drones?

Although, come to think of it, a nice BC siege would be fun to watch, complete with the skulls of the defenders decorating the smoking remains of the citadel after the siege engines got to work.

dadanarchistmk2

I thought the Aryan Nations compound got shut down?

iTuna

If they rename it Woodbury, I'll move.

fishskicanoe

I guess Bill O'Reilly was right. The white conservative American is imbued a strong, strong work ethic. Here they are building their very own FEMA concentration camp without the use of Uncle Sam's money. Right on, brothers.

Negropolis

You know who else had an end-of-days compound in rural Idaho?

BTW, in my city they call this a co-op, except that they don't have guns and they have tons of urban chickens.

Negropolis

If you are a patriotic American who believes in Jefferson’s Rightful Liberty, who believes in the Constitution as written, who believes in the Declaration of Independence, and who wishes to live in a beautiful, secure mountain town that bans Liberals from living among us, consider exploring the Citadel as we evolve and build.

The only question is the ending, David Koresh style or Jim Jones style?

An_Outhouse

This is the FEMA camp we have been promised, right? That Obama sure is a tricky rabbit.

myykuul

Benewah County (named after a Coeur d'Alene tribe chief – akin to naming a subdivision after the forest developers leveled to build the subdivision) had approx 12 people per square mile in the 2000 Census. So the plan is to enclose 3000 to 5000 households on roughly 4.5 square miles (not including the thriving business district and myriad shooting ranges)? They'll be eating each other in under a year.

Jerri

Oh, how I wish it were possible to pull up a nice recliner in front of this proposed compound's location, crack a couple-three beers and watch these all-stars try to make this happen all on their own.

How about we build a Liberal compound with two gates, the rear one butting, (pun intended) up against the one gate into their compound so they have to pass among the unwashed liberals every time they wanted to leave their island of assholery.

dcjdjay

First sign of forest fires, drought, floods, earthquakes or a meteor from Xenu, and these "patriots" will demand disaster relief $$$ from us liberals and Eastern establishment types.

Spider-Jerk

A 3,500-5,000- person building complex/"castle" built without any foundations? Even without the gun-nuttery and the part where everyone who moves there has to sign away a bunch of their rights, this is going to be amazing.

notanncoulter

Has anyone claimed the tin-foil-hat concession?
If not… DIBS!

Troglodeity

Welcome to BeneWaaaaaah County!

LIT_Fag

I see a new marketing opportunity for the very desolate Hot Springs Village.

And who will the un-hispanic version of Erik Estrada be to advertise for the Citadel?

notanncoulter

some questions for the application they seem to have missed:
1. How many rolls of tin foil do you currently have on hand?
2. What would you consider to be an ample supply of said foil?
3. Should we look into bulk purchases?

elgin_pelican

I wouldn't tread on her.

wolvenwood13

Should I even bother to ask if the homos are allowed? How about the blahs, are they allowed in? No? So much for the Constitution's equal rights for all.

shastakoala

I have lived in Idaho my entire life and have yet to meet any militia or neos . . . oops, gotta go now, it's my night to walk the perimeter!