I uploaded the last chapter yesterday. Now, I just want to know, what is so very very wrong with this story the the EQD pre-reader was so outraged that they felt a need to hurt my feelings just for submitting it.

Good story. My biggest criticism is you tend to repeat yourself. You'll use the same or similar wording sometimes in consecutive sentences. You are getting better with practice; this was a real problem in chapter one, not so much in later chapters.

While you are still working on your craft as far as your wording goes, your skills as a story teller are already very good. I'm not a big fan of shipping, but I like this. You foreshadow it well, and I found myself thinking "Wow, he's perfect for her!"

Given how popular this group is and how swiftly it's grown I can hardly believe this forum doesn't get more traffic. This is a venue for you to promote your fanfic; and most promotion for fanfic is self promotion, more of you should take advantage.

That said - I've begun the sequel to the story I already promoted here.