Don't get me wrong, I think PETA are a bunch of tedious, misguided famewhores -- but Brooke Shields becoming an advocate for fur? Now that's just fucking crass. Maybe we should give both sides swords and let them fight to the death. (Celebitchy)

Chloe Moretz is going to be starring in a "gritty indie drama" that includes a rape scene, which from here on ever after will be referred to as "pulling a Dakota Fanning." (The Playlist)

Here's the most depressing thing you'll read today: "Jersey Shore's" "The Situation" actually caused rioting by dancing around shirtless on his hotel balcony. And this is why I typically avoid the New Jersey coastline like the plague. (Agent Bedhead)

Jeff Zucker, the man you all remember from royally screwing over Conan O'Brien, has been given the "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out" treatment from NBC. (Screen Junkies)

Because this is a respectable column, naturally, I'm putting a call out to dog owners to help a fellow dog owner who has a problem with, err ... Poo eating. When my parents' dog was a puppy she used to deftly eat it before it even hit the ground. That's how much of a poo-eating ninja she was. (Frothy Girlz)

Ahh hell. Since I already lowered the standards for today, here's a gallery of celebrities picking up dog poop. Just like regular people! (Celebslam)

Yeah, so, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's fakey-fake separation I mentioned earlier this week which I said was almost definitely going to turn out fake? Heidi made sure to cash in on a "mourning" photo op, I SWEAR TO GOD. I'm sorry -- I don't know what it is about these two that just fascinate the hell out of me. (Evil Beet)

Now that "Glee" did Madonna and Lady Gaga themed episodes, here are some other recording artist themed episode suggestions. (Notes on Bar Napkins)

Some guy who had a fun novelty website "explaining" the Marmaduke comic strips weighs in on the impending Marmaduke movie, and basically tears Hollywood a new one in one of the best Hollywood evisceratings I've ever read. (Film Drunk)

Kraft's new Sandwich Shop Chipotle Mayo probably isn't as good as the chipotle mayo you get with your fries at Bobby's Burger Palace -- not that one just opened in my neighborhood or that I'm totally obsessed or anything (SUCK IT HATERS!) -- but it definitely sounds more than adequate. (Impulsive Buy)

Hey everybody! Guess what? I give up! Enjoy this video:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.