Hey Thebo,please try to calm down a little bit. I'm sorry to hear that you don't have enough support. Must be difficult for you Don't bother with those who rejected you. Sometimes there are days when everything looks much worse than it is in reality, I hope this is the case. Please share more with us if you'll feel better.You are great guy, very honest and very brave to take steps where many of us couldn't go. You have a lot to offer to others. Hang on man, here is my hug for you

Greetings! I know it has been a while since I last entered anything here. Since today is an R&R day after a big test in Art Diagnostics, I am taking a minute or two to make an entry.

It is that time of the semester when finals and papers and projects come due. Unlike other disciplines art therapy finals can be "experiential", in other words the student performs the psychological application upon himself, then has to present feedback. Yuck.

This semester I disclosed to my adviser. It had gotten to the point that I was putting too much energy trying to prevent being accidentally exposed that I could see it might eventually interfere with my classwork. Since she is a psychiatrist and deals with a lot of trauma patients the meeting went well.

On Monday I will be presenting my final project in Art Therapy 2 class. The project is to create a piece of art expressiong our counter transference to the population with whom we would like to work. My population is adult male survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

I have to present this to the class, explain the population and talk about the art. It means I am going to disclose to room full of 15 classmates and a teacher. AND I will be expected to answer questions. That will be the hard part.

I have gone over this with my therapist and discussed it with my adviser. Both are supportive. However, I assure you I will be calling my therapist from wherever I melt down right after class.

I still think for me that I prefer not to disclose, but in this case i feel it is for the best.

i can't begin to imagine the amount of strength it must require to even consider doing what you are about to do. you are amazing! my prayer is that you will gain 15 new empathetic supporters who understand in a far deeper way not only your experience - but also the overwhelming effect that CSA has on children and adult survivors - and be vastly better equipped to help in the healing process.

all the best, man!lee

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"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho

Thank you, lee and cant. Your words mean a lot to me. I finished the art. The art itself reveals it all. I've rehearsed my "speach" -- only to realize I'm tossing the notes and winging it. I am so afraid I will cry, but know what? I'm taking a box of tissues -- pass around pack. If I see anyone having that strange judgemental look some get when hearing these things, I am taking a large picture of me as a child. When I sense someone might get icky I'm going to hold the picture in front of my face and tell them, "Don't listen to the man's voice. Instead see the boy with the man's voice." People need to know.

This semester I disclosed to my adviser.....It means I am going to disclose to room full of 15 classmates and a teacher. AND I will be expected to answer questions.

Hey Thebo,

So good to see you posting again. And WOW!, what a HUGE step you are taking! I sympatize with how uncomfortable this will be for you, but in the long run it will do you nothing but good. Keep it up man.

Jude

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I will remember youWill you remember me?Don't let your life pass you byWeep not for the memoriesSarah McLachlan

Wow. Thebo, I absolutely love the idea of having the picture of the Little You there so they can understand that its not about the man, its about the boy. How incredibly creative you are. Good luck on the presentation and critique. b

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