Joke of the day

Every man needs a go-to joke.

Monday

Joke
N°
3204

Bumper Stickers

Melissa Furtado

Tuesday

Joke
N°
3205

Special Frog
A guy walks into a bar carrying a frog and sits down next to a really hot blonde. She asks him why he's carrying a frog, and he says, "My frog is special. He performs cunnilingus."
The blonde thinks that is pretty interesting so she says, "Come back to my place and we will see if your frog will do it."
After a couple of hours of waiting, the frog never even attempts to perform on the blonde. So the gentlemen makes his way to the woman and says to the frog, "Now really, Frog, this is the last time I'm going to show you how it's done." Polarisrider14

Wednesday

Joke
N°
3206

Top 20 World's Shortest Books
20. Beauty Secrets by Janet Reno
19. Home Built Airplanes by John Denver
18. How To Get To The Super Bowl by Dan Marino
17. Things I Love About Bill by Hillary Clinton
16. My Life's Memories by Ronald Reagan
15. Things I Can't Afford by Bill Gates
14. Things I Wouldn't Do For Money by Dennis Rodman
13. The Wild Years by Al Gore
12. Amelia Earhart's Guide To The Pacific Ocean
11. America's Most Popular Lawyers
10. Detroit - A Travel Guide
9. Collection Of Motivational Speeches by Dr. Kevorkian
8. Everything Men Know About Women
7. Everything Women Know About Men
6. All The Men I've Loved Before by Ellen DeGeneres
5. Guide To Dating Etiquette by Mike Tyson
4. Spotted Owl Recipes by the Sierra Club
3. The Amish Phone Directory
2. My Plan To Find The Real Killers by OJ Simpson
And the World's Number One Shortest Book...
1. My Book Of Morals - by Bill Clinton & Jesse Jackson Calvin F.

Thursday

Joke
N°
3207

Slip Of The Tongue
A guy boards a train bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He immediately notices that the guy next to him has a deeply bruised black eye. "Heck, what a coincidence! We both have black eyes! Mind if I ask how you got yours?"
"Well," explains the man, "I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with beautiful breasts was behind the counter. When I asked to purchase a ticket to Pittsburgh, I accidentally blurted out 'I'd like a picket to Tittsburgh' and so she sucker-punched me!" The man continues, "What's your story?"
The other guy explains, "I was at the breakfast table and I meant to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties,' but I accidentally said, 'You ruined my life you stupid cow.'" Wellington J.

Friday

Joke
N°
3208

Birds And The Bees
A father asked his 10-year-old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
"Oh dad," the boy sobbed, "when I was 6, I got the 'there's no Santa' speech. At 7, I got the 'there's no Easter Bunny' speech. When I was 8, you hit me with the 'there's no tooth fairy' speech. If you tell me that grown-ups don't really have sex, I'll have nothing left to live for." Alexis T.

Saturday

Joke
N°
3209

Royal Wedding
On the day of the Royal wedding, Sophie was getting dressed, surrounded by all of her family. She suddenly realized she had forgotten to get shoes. Panic!
Then her sister remembered that she had a pair of white shoes from her wedding so she lent them to Sophie for the day. Unfortunately, they were a bit too small and by the time the festivities were over, Sophie's feet were hurting real bad.
When she and Edward withdrew to their room, the only thing she could think of was getting her shoes off.
The rest of the family crowded around the door of the bedroom and they heard roughly what they expected; grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually they heard Edward say, "God, that was tight."
"There," whispered the Queen. "I told you she was a virgin."
Then, to their surprise, they heard Edward say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and straining and at last Edward said, "My God. That was even tighter."
"That's my boy," said the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor." Tania F.

Sunday

Joke
N°
3210

Blonde Haircut
A blonde walks into a salon wearing headphones. The stylist was a little shocked and politely asks, "Ma'am, could you remove the headphones?"
"No! If I take them off, I'll die!" answered the blonde.
The stylist agreed to work around them. The blonde retured a few months later, still with headphones on. "Could you please take off the headphones, this time?" asked the stylist.
The blonde gave her the same answer as before, "I'll die if I take them off!"
Again, the stylist works around them. The third time, the blonde returns, still wearing headphones. Obviously fustrated, the stylist tells her, "Listen, I'm not working around those headphones again! Take them off!"
The blonde yells back at her, "I will DIE if I take them off!" The stylist reaches over and yanks them off. To her surprise, the blonde stopped breathing and fell to the floor.
"What the hell was she listening to?" asked the stylist. She put one end up to her ear and heard a voice repeating;
"Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out." QuickWulf