"LeBron James" - Mike Tyson

According to documents uncovered by Wired, a 1980's application for top-secret government clearance uncovered some interesting facts about Steve Jobs' youthful drug dabbling:

He also provided additional details about his drug use. It's been previously reported that Jobs took LSD, marijuana and hashish in his early years, but he expanded on this a bit to the Pentagon. In his signed statement for the security clearance, Jobs said:

"I used LSD from approximately 1972 to 1974. Throughout that period of time I used the LSD approximately ten to fifteen times. I would ingest the LSD on a sugar cube or in a hard form of gelatin. I would usually take the LSD when I was by myself. I have no words to explain the effect the LSD had on me, although, I can say it was a positive life changing experience for me and I am glad I went through that experience."

"The best way I would describe the effect of the marijuana and the hashish is that it would make me relaxed and creative," he told investigators.

The next time you find yourself getting pissed because the simpleton barrista at your local Starbucks forgot to add nutmeg sprinkles to your half-caf triple Chai Frappe Latte, try to appreciate the fact that you didn't have to survive Mao's cultural purges just to keep living in the boonies of rural China. [Laughing Squid]