Anna Raccoon Archives

Post navigation

Nigerian Reality and the Internet.

The Anna Raccoon Archives

by Anna Raccoon on July 4, 2014

Back in the Seventeenth century, Oya was the ‘capital emplacement’ of a group of west African tribes that had a common language – Yoruba. We can’t really call Oya the capital city, because that would imply that it was the residence of just one ruler – and the Yoruba speaking people had many dynastic families.

Oya became strategically important because it was a mere 250 km from the coast – and some in Oya had heard rumours that there were riches to be had from the white man now arriving in boats on the coast to buy kola nuts and salt.

So it was that the tribal kings of Oya managed to agree on one thing: it was a good idea to march thousands of their healthiest young men and women 250 km on foot through the jungle and persuade the white man that they merely wanted a job in a nice sugar plantation in America. Later, the Yoruba speaking people persuaded the white man that the guilt was all his to shoulder for ever more – he had ‘enslaved’ their people who had chosen this route march of their own free will.

Oya collapsed as a city and was abandoned after Jihad waged by the Muslim cleric Usman dan Fodio over ran the area. Half a million displaced Yoruba residents, known as ‘refugees’ in any other circumstances, magically became ‘slaves’ and went to Brazil, a quarter of a million to the French colony of St Domingue – and 75,000 to the British colony of Jamaica.

In 1807, the British arrived and attempted to stem the ‘slave trade’ – after this most of the slaves were sent to Sierra Leone. The remaining Yoruba made a living out of palm oil for a hundred years or more after that, until the British discovered petroleum. Then many began work for the colonial government, sending and receiving mysterious ‘faxes’ for a product that they had never seen, and would never see.

You used the English you had learned at the mission schools, and wrote out letters telling ‘x’ that he needed to transfer millions of pounds to your boss’ bank account – and he did, and yeah! your boss rushed out and bought himself a brand new Range Rover, and his wife had so many new fridge freezers that she gave some away to her cousins – all from a few words written on a piece of paper. Magic that outshone anything brujería had ever thought of.

When General Babangida stepped down, albeit reluctantly, from power in 1993, it was the end of a period of huge corruption in Nigerian society, massive riches magically going to people named in those early petroleum contract faxes, no sign of a ‘product’ changing hands as it would in the local market – and a seemingly never ending supply of rich white folk who would send money in return for a request that mentioned unimaginable sums and quoted various government departments.

Nigeria was full of young men with a modicum of education, and a knowledge of how to word those faxes – and the world had kindly invented the Internet for them…

The famous ‘419’ scam e-mail had been invented – and it does pay off. A google search for ‘419 fraud mastermind jailed’ produces over a million results….as in a million results for ‘masterminds’ being jailed, not for the fraud being carried out!

The ‘Yoruba’, for want of a better descriptive term for this disparate group, have been turning reality on its head ever since in order to part the white man from his cash. That the e-mail targets are known as ‘maghas’, from the Yorubian word for a fool, is indicative of their long involvement in parting the white man from his cash and making him believe that everything that happens is his own fault….

Today, yet another ‘mastermind’ has been jailed – there seem to be as many ‘masterminds’ as there are scammers. Frank Onyeachonam was jailed in London for eight years, for having parted some 400 ‘vulnerable’ pensioners from ‘millions of pounds’ by enticing them to believe that they could steal millions of pounds from their rightful owners by sending Frank the money to pay the customs dues, or the probate fees, or the bank charges, or whatever excuse he had deemed suitable that day. Of course he won’t be deported when he has served his sentence – he is married to an English woman and has a baby with her..

Just on the off-chance, I looked up his name on a fascinating web site of Yoruba names – it means ‘don’t look for me’.

The frauds are successful simply because of Nigeria’s reputation as a corrupt oil rich country – that doesn’t put people off, it actually has the opposite effect of making the scam more believable. Ironically, those of us who merely delete these e-mails on the grounds that we are ‘savvy’ enough to know it is probably ‘Nigerian fraud’ make the scammers task that much easier – instead of wading through hundreds of replies, we have ‘self-selected’ ourselves out of their mailing list, leaving them able to concentrate on building a relationship with the more gullible…(Unintended Consequences Number 274).

It can’t be long now before the British Prime Minister is apologising for the ‘appalling actions’ of a few British pensioners in having lured Nigerians into a life of crime resulting in them suffering terribly in a British jail. It’s bound to be our fault.

I might just dream up a new scam.

Subject: Dear Respected Comedian, GREETINGS,

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I got your contact from the International directory of elderly Comedians. I prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to it’s esteeming nature and the recommendations given to me as a reputable and trust worthy person I can do business with and by the recommendations I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business.

I am Wumi Abdul; the only Daughter of late Mr and Mrs George Abdul. My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan, the economic capital of Ivory Coast before he was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outing to discus on a business deal on the day after I was born.

I am Yewtree victim No 8178. Since my Father died so soon after my birth, I am unable to claim that he abused me. His esteemed colleagues have suggested that I should seek for a God fearing foreign comedian in a country of my choice to stand in for him. If you would be so kind as to provide me with a list of venues where you appeared over the years, and send me a letter stating that you might have worked for the BBC, I will be able to unlock the treasures of the esteemed BBC and NHS resources from where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose, (such as real estate management).

Sir, we are honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways.1) To provide a Bank account where this money would be transferred to.

Moreover Sir, we are willing to offer you 15% of the sum as compensation for effort input after the successful transfer of the valuable BBC funds to your designate account overseas. please feel free to contact ,me via this email address wumi1000abdul@yahoo.com

Anticipating to hear from you soon. Thanks and God Bless. Best regards. Miss Wumi Abdul

“So it was that the tribal kings of Oya managed to agree on one thing: it was a good idea to march thousands of their healthiest young men and women 250 km on foot through the jungle and persuade the white man that they merely wanted a job in a nice sugar plantation in America. Later, the Yoruba speaking people persuaded the white man that the guilt was all his to shoulder for ever more – he had ‘enslaved’ their people who had chosen this route march of their own free will.”

My [generalised] understanding was that various tribal groups warred with one another and then the losers were marched to the coast. It’s certainly the case that white folks didn’t go into the dark continent and fish them out personally. It’s apparent that in South America where the Conquistadors did enter the hinterland, their European disease of Smallpox almost annihilated the indigenous populations, so perhaps the Africans were luckier than the Inca or Aztecs in an evolutionary sense at least.

I recall in my callow youth there were street references to black folks as “toasted Irishmen”, not that I had ever actually seen in real life, what I would have called a “black person” until I was about 18. My Irish Grandfather looked nothing like him.

The appearance of, “No Blacks/No Irish/No Dogs”, on the boarding-room signs is often quoted but minor research seems to suggest it was only ever one boarding-house that ever did it and somebody took a photograph of it and then it became “typical of an era”.

There’s a similar urban myth about “No Irish Need Apply” (“NINA”) in job and accomodation adverts in the United States. The one academic who tried to find them in old newspapers – local and national – only found one “sort of” example, but that doesn’t stop “reproduction” signs being popular noveltie, particularly for those who describe themselves as “Irish-American.”

It’s true that only a single original 1960s photograph appears in Google Image search. It’s worth noting that film and processing was expensive in those days and even professional photographers didn’t snap away at just anything. The photo has no other interest other than what is written on the sign, so I can only assume that the photographer thought that the writing was unusual or they wouldn’t have taken it.

“…it is now possible to find advertisements seeking tenants for rented accommodation which specify race, or other characteristics, in a way which some experts believe breaks the law. Newsagents in different areas of London carry adverts saying: “Double bedroom available… Asian only” “Double room to let Gujarati (Indian) only” Close to the station and bus stops (Filipino only) “Professional single lady or Sri Lanka professional couple” “House for rent… only Asian families””

This is truly fascinating Anna. The history of scams is woefully under-researched and very instructive in historical terms. I can think of a few others that have a provenance in previous ‘vulnerabilities’ – the ‘crash for cash’ explosion was apparently engineered by previous employees of Mark Landford’s ill-fated The Accident Group http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/1548187/Mark-Langford.html after the claims referrers were sacked by text. Internet porn scams -notably ‘carding’ in Operation Ore came out a similar method using the postal service with cheques that were too embarrassing to report.

I guess ‘boiler room scams’ developed from ‘time share’ – but there’s so much more to find out – including how at least two such convicted scammers – Chris Fay and Andrea Davison played a leading role in creating fantasy paedo networks. Lying is an art – the best primer I know is Patricia Highsmith’s Ripley Underground

Time Share was a simple and genuine concept at the start, but it’s reliance on the pyramid model to pay all it’s sales-persons has led to all manner of perversions since. Most, if not all of them, remain perfectly legal however, unlike “Boiler Room” activities.

The internet has freed up all sorts of scammers such as the 2 you mention. Bangkok is now a centre for boiler room scams targeting all countries and they are difficult to police. Often arrested, bail is paid by the boss and back at work the next day- lots of Australian , Yanks & Brits operating them. One thing I have observed as a complete cynic when asked to part with cash, is the extraordinary naivety of victims such as my old aunt & uncle who lost 8 grand with one of the above. They tend to be , like them, people who work their entire lives, pay bills on time, never get into debt except for a mortgage religiously paid on time and live within their means. Crime is something they never encounter except in the pages of newspapers so they tend to trust everyone they come into contact with.

My father-in-law, who lived and worked in West Africa for many years, recently encountered a Yoruba gentleman – I think working in a DIY store – smiling, Philip addressed him in Yoruba. The wonderful response was this gentleman hugging him like some long lost brother. My wife tells brilliant stories of her childhood in Nigeria but her best is a later one – she was at an academic librarian conference in the states somewhere (Kathryn is a publisher) and met a Nigerian academic. In their discussion it became clear that they both remembered playing in a river pool beside a Yoruba village.

I think the first confidence trickster was a witch doctor. It goes back to the dawn of human society.

It is a version of intraspecific parasitism. Another example is ducks who lay their eggs in the nest of another duck (of the same species), to avoid the hard work of brooding and rearing the ducklings.

Other early examples involve apparently turning water into wine, parting the waters of the sea, feeding huge multitudes from tiny portions of food, bringing the dead back to life and even the meek inheriting the earth – who could be foolish enough to believe any of those scams ?

Who would be foolish enough to believe the alternative to God: the Theory of Evolution, etc.? Nothing exploded to become everything and non-living chemicals managed to develop into a simple (yet highly complex) life form (by random mutations) and further developed into all the animal and plant life on earth today?

With modern science revealing the incredible complexity even of a ‘simple’ cell, only a fool would believe the alternative.

In fact, evolution scientists must get their grants the ‘Nigerian’ way,

“Esteemed friend in Government,

Forgive my intrusion, but your name has reached me as someone I can trust to help me acquire £2,000,000 in taxpayer-funded grant money for yet another desperate attempt at finding missing links between humans and ape-like ancestors.

You may already know that previous attempts to fool the public have succeeded, such as Piltdown Man, which was just parts of a human skull with the lower jawbone of an orang utan, yet was taken as a ‘missing link’ by scientists and therefore, the public, for forty years.

More recent attempts at a similar fraud have recreated a brand new ‘missing link’ from a single toe bone and another from bits of bone collected from various sites many miles apart in what would appear to have been the world’s first suicide bomber using a nuclear device.

The public will believe anything. All we need is £2 million to fool ‘academia’ and the media with a few more similar stories, so please entrust us with the £2 million and we will give you a commission of 20% for your concern and trouble.

How can anyone believe in the Big Bang? How can matter either originate from nothing or always have existed? Clearly it must have been created by some sort of supernatural being who either, erm, originated from nothing or, (I’m struggling here), always existed.

As a large percentage of these emails start “Dear Friend” from someone you have never heard of or met, you do have to be a little bit naive to carry on . And the cry for help to remove her gold from the evil new govt from the deposed Egyptian President Mubaraks wife is also just a bit fanciful.

Someone of my acquaintance once asked me for my advice after he had received one of these type of letters from that country… and was actually thinking of replying to it!

I would not have classed him as particularly naive – perhaps the scammer’s success ratio is greater than I imagine?

It is all very sad. My father worked in Nigeria – building infrastructure (hospitals) in the 1950’s… only to later read that the locals had subsequently burnt one down during local tribal difficulties.

About 9 or so years ago there was a “World Slavery Day” or some-such. I was working alongside a young woman of West Indian grand-parentage and we were discussing slavery. For some reason I mentioned that I came from Bristol and she immediately commented on it’s shameful Slave Trading history. She knew nothing of the three way shipping trade – “Consumer goods” from England to the African coast, slaves from there to America / Caribbean, tobacco and cotton etc back to England. She did not know that the English did not march into Africa and kidnap the Africans. She did not know that they were sold to the traders by other Africans or by Arabs. I then said that for her, things had worked out rather well. If her ancestors had not been sold into slavery in the Caribbean then her grand-parents would have not come to England and she would now be living in Africa … “That would be awful” was her response. (Of course, if Africa had not been denuded of generations of fit young men and women by the African and Arab slavers then the whole of African history might have been totally different, but we are where we are.)

reminds me of a story related to the heavyweight fight in the mid-1970s between Muhammad Ali and George Foreman. Held in the African nation of Zaire, this famous fight was billed — quite insensitively by contemporary standards — as the “Rumble in the Jungle.” In any case, after the fight was over and the victorious Ali returned to America, he was asked by a reporter what he thought of Africa. He replied, “Thank God my granddaddy got on that boat.”http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/multiculturalism/mu0003.html

Strewth, these scams have been going on for ages. I’ve just found this scam email from 1997, wonder what happened to the authors? To: Fred Bloggs, England

From: To’nee Blairumbumma

May 1997

My Estimmed Frends,

Please be nice to hear from me your loyal frend and admirer. My name is To’nee Blairumbumma and I am sad to be telling you that I and my Noolabor tribe are a persecuted peeples who victims ruthless military guvenmint which is mostly the evil Torinastee tribe being.

We need your good help nice frend. Me and my clever money frend Gordobonkas Brown are poor but we have vital information to help promise much to you riches. If you support our cause we will not be persecuted and we will give many rich money to you and all you kind clever England peeple.

Please support us against the evil Torinastee tribe and we promise this will happen: – much money to you, much – No more booms but many busts, sorry no busts, oh maybe one bust but it will be good – Many good educashuns, educashuns and more educashuns to all childs – Peas lost of peas, no more wars ever. Not like those evil Torinastee tribes who made bad wars in Argentina Forklands – All your lands be good and profitable, jobs for evreewun

As you see it is only clever person like you who knows the truth I speek. Please support us for many years. Another celver person who writes our newspaper Roopo M’urdok says he support us, he is very clever as well. And rich. You want to be rich don’t you, clever person?