Are you looking to make some big changes in the New Year? Need a lift after the holidays? Then listen up! All you need to do is submit a tasteful picture of yourself showcasing your tiny ta-tas.

It's wonderful how they have the word "tasteful" just five small words before "tiny ta-tas".

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Let's get this straight: Women enter their tasteful tiny ta-tas photo, beg for votes via social media while random creeps post comment about their bodies, and then one of them wins some new boobs? Things have sure have changed since I was the 96th caller to win tickets to the Lilith Fair. (It was a life-changing concert, I bought my first chain wallet.)

Radio stations have pulled stunts like this before, but it's still hard to pinpoint exactly what's so bothersome about it. If getting surgery helps a woman feel her best, that's absolutely okay. Also, it's not like anyone's being coerced into entering the contest. Maybe it's the public act of radio listeners passing judgment on something that feels like such a personal decision; the whole thing has an icky "hot or not" factor.

Is anyone else wondering what it would be like if men participated in a similar physical contest? Like, "I need penile enlargement surgery because I just don't feel like a man without a big dick." Then everyone could inspect the lines of their speedos and vote for the most pitiable dude.