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Few people like to hear, “I don’t want to date you, but we can be friends.” It sounds like a lousy consolation prize – as if she’s insincerely offering up friendship because she feels guilty about not wanting to kiss you.

But if you take the rejection out if it, you’ll realize that a windfall of new friends can be one of the best payoffs of online dating.

We set up Kevin with our friends, played wing-woman for him at bars, gave him dating advice and consoled him when an eventual girlfriend broke his heart.

As for me, I got a packed schedule and a bunch of besties.

A few months later, I bumped into him at an alumni softball game, where he said: “I’ve met a bunch of awesome women lately. ” I was touched by his courage for admitting that none of those dates had panned out.

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