Tag: Trying to conceive

Hello everyone! I will be 39 weeks tomorrow. 39 weeks ago, yes, it seems ages ago, when I peed on a stick and finally got that elusive +. Now, we’re to the finish line.

I’m both sad and glad and excited and scared. In the next day or so (I really hope just a day), our precious little Cara will be here, in the flesh, after all the hard work, tears, tests, meds, etc.

In the next day or so, our lives will never be the same again. I’ve been having some bouts of tears while watching my ever loving husband fold the baby’s clothes after I washed them. He saw how tired I was and just started folding the clothes himself. I watched him fold and the look on his face was just contentment and joy. Then the tears started flowing.

It will never be just the two of us anymore. I know it’s a weird thought since we’ve worked hard for this baby, but I feel that we will have less time for each other. He assured me that it’s going to be fine while I was crying in his arms.

It’s the eve of the day prior to induction. We had dinner before he left for work. We shared our usual laughs and teasing and then it hit me again when he left for work. Tomorrow or the next day, we will be a family of four (yes, we have a dog) and it will never be the same again.

I’m happy and sad, excited and scared. Our next chapter is about to begin. Wish us luck!

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, just wanted to give a quick update. I’m now 12 weeks and 2 days. We’ve had several check-ups with my ob/gyn, everything looking good so far. Pregnancy symptoms have been awful some days, some days I’m fine. Anything for this precious little one.

My pup has been extra clingy, always on my belly and protecting me from anything and anybody – including my husband! So precious!

To those following my blog who are still waiting – baby dust to you! Bumping my belly with yours (I did this with my intern when she was pregnant – I know, crazy, but will do anything)!

We are pregnant! We did another round of IUI in June and it was successful!

On my last post, I said I was tired and would be taking a break from fertility treatments, and we did. We took a break for three months. On the last few weeks of May, I told my husband that I think I was ready to go for another round in June and so I emailed my RE.

My period started June 1st, we did our ultrasound, Letrozole, another ultrasound to confirm a mature follicle was there, hcg shot, and IUI. And then the two week wait…

Unlike our past rounds of treatment, I was less stressed about this one, if it's successful – great; if not – try again. Towards the end of the two-week-wait, my husband and I went on a little vacation for four days and just enjoyed Mother Nature. On the last day of our trip (day 13 of the wait), I noticed some red/pink spots when I wiped, so I told my husband, uh oh, period is starting. He just said, just think positive.

When we arrived home, I bought two boxes of HPTs (yes, I'm OCD like that), since I'm supposed to test the following day. I didn't think too much of it, just did the usual stuff the rest of the day. When my husband left for work that night, I felt the urge to pee on a stick, even though I knew that it might be too early. I told myself, if it's negative, you're not supposed to test until tomorrow anyway. Lol.

So, peed on a stick, set it down on the floor. And then voila! It was positive! BFP! I never thought I'd say that but yes! Took a picture and immediately sent it to my husband. I told him that if it's still positive tomorrow, I'll inform our RE and then go to the lab.

Morning came… still positive!!! We are pregnant! Again! We have our rainbow baby! (Okay technically not a baby yet, but whatever). We are so happy and blessed!

We were pregnant in November and then baby was gone. Since then, we’ve done two more rounds of treatments. We’re waiting to see if this second round is a success, but I’m not feeling anything, negative epts as well, so I’m doubtful.

My husband said that we’ve just started and I should be positive for the positive to come. Believe me, I try.

I also feel envious that a lot of people are getting pregnant. Why not me?

When my husband and I were still dating, I was quite active – I went to Pilates class about 4 times a week; ran/walked for 1-2 miles at least once a day; and ate healthily (organic, low carb/high protein).

And then he moved to the US to be with me. Ha!

I remember one conversation we had before sleeping. I told him that research shows that newly-wed couples tend to gain weight because they’re happy. He asked me: ‘So does that mean you’re very happy?’ LOL! But his question was also a wake-up call. In the almost two years we’ve lived together, I gained 25 lbs! Yikes!

When we had our initial fertility consult, the ob-gyn asked me if I exercise and how often. Of course, I came clean. She explained the importance of exercising both for me and the future baby (crossing my fingers!). She said that exercise helps with PCOS and also decreases the risk for gestational diabetes. The hubby just gave me a look – I understood that look.

So last week, we started working out together. The workout entails 40-50 mins of weights and total body exercise, 6 days a week. We push each other, we encourage each other, we’re bonding.

Since receiving a referral to the fertility specialists, my husband and I (mostly I) have been undergoing numerous lab work. If you know me, you’d know that blood and yours truly don’t mix. That’s quite ironic because my mom is a physician and I’m married to one -karma maybe? Hehe.

Anyway, so aside from my immense fear of blood and needles, my veins are very hard to palpate. My initial blood work required 13 – THIRTEEN!!! – test tubes worth of blood. The lab lady, bless her heart – tried three times to get a vein on my left arm to no avail. I looked like an embroidery project. She then shifted to my right arm and went in again – FAIL! She explained that she needed to pass me on to her colleague, and fearing that my right arm might look like my left, I said please.

The new lab person did a double torniquet just to make a vein pop out. When he finally found one (a tiny one on the outer side), I asked, would you be able to get enough sample? He said, ‘we’ll try’. Oh boy.

So there I was, close to fainting, also praying that my vein would not collapse and give 13 test tubes worth of blood sample. On the 9th or 10th tube (I lost count, I was pinching myself to keep awake), the blood flow started to slow down. Teasing teasing slooooow. 11, 12, 13!!! My vein made it! We did it! Even the lab guy looked relieved. Whew!

I never thought I’d want kids of my own. Sure, I love kids – but I love them more when I’m able to return them to their ‘owner’. I’m good at taking care of my godchildren and nieces/nephews; but at the end of the day, I’m thankful for the peace and solitude and even more thankful that I can sleep in after a tiring day.

Then I got married. My husband and I – we both didn’t want children before we got married. And then something happened. I don’t know if it’s my biological clock ticking or seeing my husband’s longing face while we were watching the Jason Bateman/Jennifer Aniston movie The Switch or something else. Suddenly, I want to have a child with the man I love. And even more suprisingly, my husband said yes – he even already had a name for our yet-to-be-conceived child.

So, I stopped wearing the patch and we tried timing our BDing. Nothing. Ever the paranoid and impatient one, I emailed my attending ob-gyn and asked if maybe I should be checked. We were advised to wait 6 months until the side effects of the patch have worn off. So, I waited. Month after month. On the very first day of the 6th month, I sent another email, this time, as a 36 year old woman. I received a reply from the subsitute ob-gyn that since I’m already 36 years old, she’ll refer me to the fertility clinic.