Tom Ley

This is what Cowboys defensive tackle Jason Hatcher looked like right after his team's 24-21 victory over the Giants. That's fake blood all over his face, because Jason Hatcher likes to celebrate victories like a totally normal person, obviously.

Hatcher's post-game blood smearing seems to have had something to do with Giants defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul's pre-game proclamation that there was "going to be a lot of blood spilled" during the game. When reporters in the locker room were like, "Hey man, what's the deal with the fake blood all over your face?" Hatcher explained himself with panache.

"I just got finished feasting," Hatcher said as he turned toward reporters, never smiling once. "I just finished eating a Giant. Y'all didn't see me out there? That's some leftover blood. They said blood is going to be shed, right?"

Whose blood is it?

"It's all of them," Hatcher said.

Hatcher may have a different definition of "feasting" than the rest of us do, unless by "feasting" he means "Being really bad at defending the run and surrendering a combined 202 rushing yards to Andre Brown and Brandon Jacobs." Then again, it would have been silly to let all that fake blood he bought go to waste.