Yesterday afternoon Chris Brown wrecked his Porsche after being chased down by the rabid paparazzi on the way to a charity event, according to the Beverly Hills Police Department. Brown's PR rep (#2 most thankless job after "professional human shit shoveler") explained how it happened:

"He was in his vehicle by himself headed to the Debbie Allen Dance Academy for a Symphonic Love Foundation event when two vehicles cut him off. The occupants jumped out, with cameras, and aggressively approached his vehicle. In an effort to remove himself from the situation, he began to back down an alley at which point his was cut off by two additional vehicles. He is okay."

Brown managed to make it to the event (see above), as well as the Roc Nation pre-Grammys brunch at West Hollywood's Soho House, where he and a concerned Rihanna "were photographed gazing into each other's eyes, with RiRi putting her arms around Chris' neck. She appears to be really worried about Chris." Keep in mind also that, ironically, the 2009 assault charge is almost four years old to the day—it occurred after Clive Davis's pre-Grammy party. [E!, Hollywood Life]

I liked Leonardo DiCaprio a lot more back before he took this hiatus from acting. These days all he seems to do is high-five Jonah Hill over the head of a topless woman as the three frolic in an astonishingly clear ocean and talk to dudes from Entourage about how much punani he's pulling.

"Leo talked about the fact that he is sleeping with ‘multiple women' right now," says our earwitness. "He was totally open about it. Kevin [Connolly] looked at Leo and told him, ‘I want to be you.'

"Leo replied, ‘Everyone does.' He was acting very nice, but is very arrogant," says the insider.

Michael Lohan is reportedly writing a tell-all called I Am Not Daddy Dearest ... If I Can Turn It All Around, You Can Too! as a response to Dina Lohan's tell-all. So you can buy both of them, or you can buy neither of them and be happier. [TMZ]

Christina Ricci will star in NBC comedy Girlfriend In A Coma, which focuses on a woman who wakes up from a coma and discovers she has a kid. I miss the days when she was sexually experimenting with the little kid from The Ice Storm while wearing a Nixon mask. [THR]

Charlie Sheen made a video in which he pleaded with killer Chrisopher Dorner—who called Sheen "effin awesome" in his manifesto—to call him and end his murder spree. [TMZ]

Before real-life Slytherin met Spencer Pratt met Heidi Montag, he was "way more evil than I am now. I was in all these secret societies, places where powerful men hang out, there were rituals, things you wear... It started at university. I'm not a part of it anymore. Just places where powerful, wealthy people help each other along." [Contact Music]