Send me email updates about messages I've received on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.
By signing up, you certify that you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

How do I get her to stop?!

Every day my daughter and I review her vowels. She knows them, I know she does. We can get there and she will fly through them. I will ask her to do it one more time and all the sudden she can't remember them. Like A for Apple. She won't even tell me that the picture is an apple. We can go perfectly fine for a couple days and then she will do this to me for the rest of the week. I believe she thinks if she acts like she doesnt know it I will do it for her. It's frustrating me. I end up yelling and she crying in time out. I don't know what to do to get her to stop doing this. Anyone have any insight on this?

Oh, wow! This is what I go through with my son Cole, 6. I have found that I have to grip my patience in both hands, and just go through it a couple times, just like he doesn't know it. Take the same amount of time that you would normally, just say the sounds. Cole knows the stuff, but some times it takes forever for him to prove it.

He has brought me to tears, to yelling, to punishing, but none of it worked. Now, I just do like I said above and he gets the material. I'm not sure why it has to be this way, but there you have it.

You can teach you child! What would happen if they were in school and did this? Bad things. So it's better that you deal with it then some random teacher who will label her 'dunce' and put her in a slow class, right?

I had her in headstart and she did wonderful there. She picked up on everthing and they told me she was ahead of everyone. That's why I wonder if she would do better there. I just feel like I'm doing it for her because I know she knows it. She'll do it right once and then doesn't know it right after that.

I've had similar issues with my youngest son. I've had to completely switch gears with teaching him because I realized he just doesn't learn the same way as his older brother. He NEEDS a multi-sensory approach. I have also noticed that once his brain reaches a certain saturation point, he isn't going to learn a darn thing, no matter how hard we try.

Try backing off a little. If you KNOW she knows them, then don't beat a dead horse and frustrate her with busywork. Do something else and come back to vowel sounds later. Think about how frustrated YOU would be if someone kept asking you to repeat yourself over and over again, when you've already told them the right answer. If she has answered you correctly, praise her and move on.

It very well could be she knows them & is tired of you asking her to prove she knows them over & over again. Try moving on to something new once you know she knows it & then if later (like a week or more) she doesn't seam to know them then do a quick refresher!

My little one did this to me, I would tell him to go sit on his bed until he remembered and then come back and tell me and we would continue. It didn't take long for him to get tired of sitting on his bed.

I have tried to move on with her. We have started learning to blend her consonants together. She'll do the consonants just find but she acts like she blanks on the vowels, so I thought thats why we needed to reveiw. Its not that at all. I will ask her what the picture is. Today she didn't know what e was. I asked what the picture was. (an elephant) She refused to answer until I told her what it was. The day before it was the letter i she didn't know and the day before that it was the letter u. I can out right tell her what it is and when I ask what the blend is again she has already "forgot" what I just told her it was. So now we can't go on with that because she conviently forgets. She stayed in timeout for 4 hrs today because she refuse to remember it.

Honestly this sounds more like a power struggle then a child that doesn't know her vowels. Have you thought about asking her point blank what she would like to do or how she would like to do her school work?

Quoting Dawn07:

I have tried to move on with her. We have started learning to blend her consonants together. She'll do the consonants just find but she acts like she blanks on the vowels, so I thought thats why we needed to reveiw. Its not that at all. I will ask her what the picture is. Today she didn't know what e was. I asked what the picture was. (an elephant) She refused to answer until I told her what it was. The day before it was the letter i she didn't know and the day before that it was the letter u. I can out right tell her what it is and when I ask what the blend is again she has already "forgot" what I just told her it was. So now we can't go on with that because she conviently forgets. She stayed in timeout for 4 hrs today because she refuse to remember it.

I have tried to move on with her. We have started learning to blend her consonants together. She'll do the consonants just find but she acts like she blanks on the vowels, so I thought thats why we needed to reveiw. Its not that at all. I will ask her what the picture is. Today she didn't know what e was. I asked what the picture was. (an elephant) She refused to answer until I told her what it was. The day before it was the letter i she didn't know and the day before that it was the letter u. I can out right tell her what it is and when I ask what the blend is again she has already "forgot" what I just told her it was. So now we can't go on with that because she conviently forgets. She stayed in timeout for 4 hrs today because she refuse to remember it.

Okay, I'm not trying to bash you or anything, but 4 hours in timeout sounds a little too harsh, especially if it is something she struggles with. I'm guessing since she is learning vowels, she is still pretty young like maybe kindergarten age? At that age, it is very important not to destroy the natural love of learning that all kids have. It sounds like BOTH of you are frustrated so I suggest backing off for a while. Read and play together, bake cookies, take a walk, go to the zoo, and forget the vowels for a while. I'm speaking from personal experience here; I KNOW how frustrating it can be to try and homeschool a strong willed child and there have been days that I'm ready to throw in the towel. We ALL have those days. I have pushed and pushed until my kids just completely shut down and we accomplished nothing other than making me want to check myself into the nearest mental hospital. Some of the best advice I ever got was when you are having a day like that is to put the books away and do something fun. I know it seems like she is deliberately "forgetting" just to drive you crazy; I have felt like that with my 9 year old son more times than I can count, but I can almost guarantee you that she isn't doing it on purpose. She REALLY CAN'T remember even though it's in her head somewhere, because she is so saturated with information and overwhelmed. My son is the same way. When he reaches information overload, we just have to stop otherwise we both end up in tears. The harder you push, the more she is going to resist. I promise you that she will not get "behind" if you back off for a while. I KNOW what you are thinking; you are thinking that you can't just stop for a while because she won't learn anything and she'll get behind. I know this because I often think the same thing myself. It is very hard as homeschooling moms to get out of the "school mode" and not constantly worry that our kids aren't learning the same things as the public schooled kids. It took me a LONG TIME to get out of that thought process. I have beat myself up thinking that my kids weren't learning enough. It has only been recently, when I see their faces light up when they finally "get it" and when they get excited when they are going to learn something new, that I realize that they are doing just fine!! I couldn't care less what the other kids are learning. I know that MY KIDS are learning at THEIR pace, and that's the important thing.

Sorry this was so long!! Please, don't get so frustrated about what she does or doesn't know. I guarantee you that she knows way more than you think she does. The important thing is that she HAS FUN learning.

I have. She just shrugs and says I don't know. I wish I could get in her brain and figure out what she is thinking.

Quoting usmom3:

Honestly this sounds more like a power struggle then a child that doesn't know her vowels. Have you thought about asking her point blank what she would like to do or how she would like to do her school work?

Quoting Dawn07:

I have tried to move on with her. We have started learning to blend her consonants together. She'll do the consonants just find but she acts like she blanks on the vowels, so I thought thats why we needed to reveiw. Its not that at all. I will ask her what the picture is. Today she didn't know what e was. I asked what the picture was. (an elephant) She refused to answer until I told her what it was. The day before it was the letter i she didn't know and the day before that it was the letter u. I can out right tell her what it is and when I ask what the blend is again she has already "forgot" what I just told her it was. So now we can't go on with that because she conviently forgets. She stayed in timeout for 4 hrs today because she refuse to remember it.

Send me email updates about messages I've received on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.
By signing up, you certify that you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.