STATCOUNTER

May 2018

A penguin walks into a bar, and asks the bartender if his father has been in lately.

The bartender replies, “I don’t know. What does he look like? ”

Now, some people get it right away, some later, and some never. So how about trying it with a zebra walks into a bar. Or an elephant?

The unspoken punch line of the joke, of course, is that all penguins, zebras and elephants look basically identical to one another. Which takes care of the joke portion of the blog.

Now on to the marketing point. If everyone in your category looks like a penguin, why should you? If your advertising basically looks the same as everyone else’s, how do you expect to stand out? And this goes for your packaging, website and Facebook page too. In a world of penguins, consider being a zebra. Or at least wearing a sport jacket instead of a tuxedo.

You may not have gotten the joke, but do you get the idea?

P.S. Oh, my favorite suitable for anywhere joke is this one: A mommy mouse was strolling around the house with her young daughter, when the family cat spotted them, and promptly started chasing them. They were just inches away from their mouse hole and safety, when it became obvious the cat would catch them. So the mommy mouse turned around and hollered, “Bow wow. Bow wow.” And upon hearing that, the cat, startled, immediately ran away. Then the mommy mouse turned to her baby mouse and said, “See how important it is to know a second language?”

Have you noticed how many ads in a category look like, well, every other ad in the category? I don't want to single out any ad in particular, since perhaps you were the one who created it. (Or even more unhappily, perhaps I did.) And while generic may be good when you are purchasing prescription drugs, it should not be the goal in creating distinctive communications.

So, herewith, (I've waited years to put that word into my blog), is a simple little system, using a handy little device you always will have with you. Your thumb.

Print final version of your ad.

Place thumb on logo.

When the logo is covered and you can't immediately determine whom the ad is for, then stick your thumb in your mouth while you reflect on how to make the page your own. Yes, that sounds harsh, but no more severe than trying to justify running an ad that might just as well say "compliments of a friend."

It may be heresy, but I don’t mind a few clichés in an ad. Yes, the basic idea should be as original as you can make it. But sometimes the supporting copy can be more familiar, so that it can be more easily understood. As long as they’re not overdone, clichés and idioms can be a shortcut to communicating a thought.

But what does puzzle me are the clichés that fall apart when you think about them. Why do we call alcohol “booze”? Why are we “dressed to the nines”? Why does something “take the cake”? Why do we “talk turkey”? And to get back to this blog’s title, why does “buck” mean money?

The list goes on and on. And I know that there are books written that explain the reasons, though that somehow spoils the fun to me. (I’d rather enjoy the puzzle than just Google the origins.)

Point is, you have a rich, colorful language to help with your marketing communications. Use idioms wisely and clichés rarely.

Let’s say you have opened an innovative, up-to-the-minute business. It is has a positioning that will differentiate you from most competition, is meaningful to the consumer, and is as topical as today’s weather.

That’s what the three restaurants, whose take-out menus are shown below, each believed when they opened. Healthy foods, no preservatives or additives, whole grains, low fat, organic…and so on.

Each one indeed had a good idea. And if only each were the only one, life would be beautiful. But that’s not the way it works. A good concept is a good start, but now you have to differentiate yourself from this new competition. Which is a lot more difficult than differentiating your health food restaurant from the nearby fast food and franchise competitors oozing fats, calories and cream sauces.

It will not be enough for you to sell the generic benefits of healthy dining. And in these examples, each restaurant offers free delivery, so convenience is not a factor. You have to create the reason for customers to select your restaurant rather than the others. Will it be your Pricing? Menu? Taste? Hours? Service?

Each is essential, but the most important is what you do with the features that you choose to communicate…the identity—the brand—you create from these possibilities. How are you different, and is it a big enough difference to build an identity with?

Don’t get overly confident from being different than most, because you will still be the same as many. (The odds of your being unique are very small.) You still have to create your differentiating point of view.

After you’ve been running a business for three, six, ten, years, you certainly know what your customers want to hear. You know the buzzwords, their concerns, and their needs. So you tailor the messages in your communications to address their problems.

When you meet them and give your sales pitch, or create your website, you know exactly what they want to hear. Stuff like low prices, great service, expertise, satisfied customers, etc. So that’s what you stress.

But your problems begin when you make promises based on what customers want, rather than what you are actually best able to do for them. So instead of suggesting to them what they might actually need, you just tell them what they think they need. I call this giving lip service, rather than real service. At best, it tends to sound generic. At worst, it just isn’t true.

How much easier—and better—to concentrate on your actual strengths, knowledge and differences. Talk up what you might actually be able to do for them, even if they might not have verbalized that need.

Henry Ford famously (though perhaps never actually) said, “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.” Meaning, what your customers say they need from you and what you might actually deliver to help them are two different animals. Certainly, it is not as easy a sale, at least the first time you suggest something outside their comfort zone. But if you truly know their business, and understand their problems based on your experience, your observations, or even your gut, don’t say what they want to hear. Tell them what they need to know.