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A beautiful girl was giving a pedicure to a man who is also getting a shave at a salon. The man says "what about a date later?” "Am married" she replied. The man said: "So? Call your husband and tell him you are going to visit a girlfriend" She said "you should tell him yourself, he is shaving you"

__________________The cheapest stock in an overvalued market may still be overvalued

An American, an English man, and a Nigerian were on a ship. Suddenly the Devil appeared and said, "Drop anything in the sea; if I find it I will eat u, If I can't, I will be ur slave!" The American dropped a pin; the Devil found it and ate him. The English man dropped a coin; the Devil found it and ate him too. The Nigerian opened a bottle of water, poured it in the sea and said: "Na today? Find am.

__________________The cheapest stock in an overvalued market may still be overvalued

An American, an English man, and a Nigerian were on a ship. Suddenly the Devil appeared and said, "Drop anything in the sea; if I find it I will eat u, If I can't, I will be ur slave!" The American dropped a pin; the Devil found it and ate him. The English man dropped a coin; the Devil found it and ate him too. The Nigerian opened a bottle of water, poured it in the sea and said: "Na today? Find am.

Hubby:"When I opened the door, the... light came on, and after I urinated, I closed the door and the light went off!"

Wife:"Idiot...!!! you have gone to urinate in the FRIDGE again

I hop not inside the soup

__________________
“The market can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent.” - John Maynard Keynes
"The one absolute requirement of a money manager is emotional maturity. If you don’t know who you are, the stock market is an expensive place to find out." - Adam Smith

The Nigeria Government recently announced to pay men with 5 children a 1million Naira monthly salary. A man heard the news and said to his wife, Eunice i have a kid with my girlfriend, i am going to bring him so we add him to our 4 kids to make 5. When he came back he saw only one of his kids remaining.
He asked where are the others? His wife replied, U ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HEARD THE NEWS, THEIR FATHERS HAVE COME FOR THEM

__________________The cheapest stock in an overvalued market may still be overvalued

BREAKING NEWS:President Goodluck Jonathan to honour his wife, the 1st lady Dame Patience Jonathan with the award of GCFR: (Grammar Commander of the Federal Republic).

Sources say this is due to the immense contributions of the 1st lady to spoken English in Naija.Another reason for this award according to Presido JONA is that the 1st lady has affected a lot of lives positively with her humorous speeches which make Nigerians laugh and forget their sorrows.

This according to Presido JONA has increased the lifespan of the average Nigerian.....examples of such laughter dose includes: ''Nigeria is a great continent'', ''Dey have kill their parents and make all these children widows'', ''I rather kill myself than commit suicide'', '' For those who said i speech bad english, i left dem for God'', ''i am miss Jonathan and her's first lady"

__________________The cheapest stock in an overvalued market may still be overvalued

Mike was dying of an un-known illness. His wife sat at the bedside comforting him. He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."There's no need to," his wife replied. "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, and your best friend!" "I know, I know," she replied."Now just rest and let the poison work"