Warning: Looking too deeply into this bear's eyes could scar you for life. Rather than being a source of comfort, as teddy bears were designed to be, this mess of a toy is the stuff nightmares are made of. Plagued with some kind of hearts-based skin disease (Is this what global warming is doing to all the polar… »12/30/11 6:15pm 12/30/11 6:15pm

As part of a yearly tradition, fans of the very cuddly-sounding Calgary Hitmen deluged the ice with stuffed animals as soon as the team scored its first goal. The team collected 25,003 animals, more than last year's total but still below the 2007 record of 26,919. The toys will be donated to the Alberta Children's… »12/05/11 7:45pm 12/05/11 7:45pm

Move over, Elmo. There's a new highly-coveted toy in town. What's that? You already did your holiday shopping this year? Tough shit. Gund has just announced a plush version of America's cutest dog. Kids — or, let's be real here, any adult with a soul — are going to go nuts over this thing. In fact, I'm announcing it… »12/01/11 5:10pm 12/01/11 5:10pm

Florida police blew up this abandoned toy because it was "suspicious" and had "things hanging off of it." Casualties: one stuffed horse, the dignity of the local police department, and of course, a thousand tiny Trojans. »9/09/10 6:20pm 9/09/10 6:20pm

If you're worried about your child learning about the harsh realities of the economic situation, get them a "
Tini Puppini »10/22/08 2:30pm 10/22/08 2:30pm," the new doggie divas! Forget man's best friend: "Tini puppinis are the most popular pups in town... They know that whatever they're wearing today, all the other pups will be wearing tomorrow!"…

It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the advice column in which everyone's problems are solved with an "herbal" remedy. (Note: Pot Psychology will appear on Fridays, not Thursdays, from now on.) In this episode, the wind beneath my wings, Rich, and I pull a Tyra and offer up a clip show of… »4/10/08 4:20pm 4/10/08 4:20pm