Things Worse Than A Hulk Hogan Sex Tape

Sex tapes, everybody has one! Well, maybe not, but sometimes it sure seems that way. Another day, another announcement about a potential celebrity sex tape. And by “celebrity,” I mean random D-lister that you sorta forgot about. Until they had a sex tape.

It’s always tough to tell whether these celebs are victims, or whether they’re following the Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton get-famous-from-having-your-sex-tape-“leaked” scheme.

So who might we be able to expect the next celeb sex tape from? I’ll give you a hint: think yellow spandex and reality TV. That’s right, it’s Hulk Hogan. Apparently, a mysterious “someone” is shopping around a Hulk Hogan sex tape to major porn companies. And I have something I’d like to say to those companies: please, please no. The world does not need a Hulk Hogan sex tape. The thought makes me cringe. So, to cheer myself up, I’ve made a list of things that are worse than a Hulk Hogan sex tape. Here they are.

The Bubonic Plague

Syphilis

Seeing Hulk Naked In Real Life

Bedbugs

A Linda Hogan Sex Tape

[ 6 photos ]Things Worse Than A Hulk Hogan Sex Tape

The Bubonic Plague

Don’t worry, the Plague is totally curable with modern medicine. But still, getting really sick and getting huge, painful sores all over your body? Definitely worse than any sex tape.