5.06.2011

Usually when I get a call/text/tweet from B.D. I ignore and instantaneously delete it from my phone. Why? Well, after Babe, I decided to let that connection go. I felt like my eyes were finally open to all of the bulljive that B.D. was feeding me for years. And I, for one, can tell you...when you get a five star meal, you wouldn't go back to someone's scraps. Not by choice. So I chosed not to. I asked B.D. to respect me and my wish to not speak to each other.

Some may say it's a bit harsh. However, considering he has a wife, two kids, and was booted from a great career due to drugs...I think he has more important things to focus on than me. Plus, frankly, I have to keep my head above water. I will just leave that there.

Sigh. I went off on a tangent. Back to the point: I wake up to a text from him sending me "mourning love". Yeah, he spelled it just like that. He's not a complete idiot and I've known him long enough to know everything he does, has a reason. *shrug* Or maybe he just misspelled it. That's not what stopped me from deleting it. It was: "...there's some1 thinking bout you even while your sleeping". It did not put a smile on my face, like he hoped it would, but it has kept that text alive. I have yet to execute it. Now, what does that say about me?

Maybe not a whole lot. Our love will remain in "mourning". Now that I think about, that's exactly what I will consider it. Mourning Love.