BG: Thanks for tuning into what seems to be tonight's broadcast from what looks like Mile High! We've got what appears to be a packed house for this matchup between the Denver Broncos and the Houston Oilers...The players appear to be ready to get this thing started. Any thoughts on how this will turn out, Bob?

CC: "The Broncos should be way more pr"

BG: OOP and the kick is off, annnnnd it looks like the Broncos really "booted" that one!The Broncos returned the kick to somewhere around the 20...so we'll see Shane Rosenfield take the field for the Texans. He's got Andrew Jackson back at wide receiver so you KNOW they might possibly be ready to play...

First play...OHHHHH Andrew Hall bursts through the middle...and he'll have what seems to be a big gain up the middle for what would appear to be a first down.

CC: Appear? I think a 28 yard run can be classified as a first down...

BG: The Broncos are sending Travis Henry into the game as a sub now.

CC: Are you listening? Do you hear what I'm saying to you?

Bg: What was that Bob?

CC:...

Bg: back to the game

CC: YEARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!

(Bashes Gumbel in face with his stool)

"commercial break"

update: Bryant Gumbel isn't commenting on the game today. Where could he be?