Sunday, February 24, 2008

This is the message that came to me repeatedly for months as I prayed. Initially, I thought it was in reference to all of God's creation, that we see Him through these things. Not that I dispute that in any way, I just think we've come to say it so much, instead of grasping the true essence of the meaning, it has just become cliche'. "We see God in the trees, the sky, and the stars"! And, we do, but, I just knew God was speaking to me to seek the greater depth of His words. I prayed for clarity! "Hear Me with your eyes, see Me with your ears". I prayed for understanding! "Hear Me with your eyes, see Me with your ears". I prayed for God to show me what He meant! Still, the words I would hear remained the same.

As the days turned to weeks and weeks to months, life went on, bringing with it the joys, and the struggles and heartaches of this life, and I just surrendered the "knowing" to God, knowing He would reveal the meaning in His time and not a second sooner. In the meantime I had begun facilitating a study on the prayers of Jesus, and had been praying about the" hearing of His voice", as well as grieving in my heart about the loss of a young man to suicide. I continued to think about this young mans family and how they must be feeling, and asking God to use me to be somehow, a beacon of light to them.

The day of the funeral as I listened to the accounts of family and friends of what could possibly have happened to bring this boy's life to such a traggic end, my heart wrenched in agony for what his final moments must have been like. As I looked around I watched and listened and I could literally feel the heaviness in my heart begin to grow. For this young man to be in so much pain, and to feel he had no one to turn to and to believe he had no other way, still just breaks my heart.

For several days after, I desperately prayed for this family and their loss. It didn't make sense to me and I questioned why such things have to happen. For days upon days I prayed and I heard nothing, then this began to frustrate me as well. I was asking God, "why can't I hear you?" "Won't you answer me, tell me something, anything?'

Two weeks after the funeral and four weeks into learning about the way Jesus prayed, it happened........revealation!!!

I was driving along this driveway to my moms place, which looks something like a park, with lots of trees and wild animals. (By wild I am referring to the sort such as chipmunks or squirrels, not like bears and coyotes!) As I was admiring the prettiness of the snow, untouched on the ground, layered upon the bushes and covering the branches on the trees, something caught my eye! I stopped the car, when I saw the brightest red cardinal sitting up in a tree, who was then accompanied by another. I felt the Holy Spirit well up within me as I watched even more beautifully, bright red cardinals join these initial two. As I looked around, they were everywhere, about fifteen to twenty birds some sitting and some fluttering from tree to tree! I was so excited, even as I yelled out to Libby to "look" , "see them?" I also began to pray, thanking God for such an awsome sight! Still looking into the trees, I noticed the cardinals weren't alone! There were more birds, beautiful birds, black, white, and red! I still don't know for sure the species, but I think maybe they were woodpeckers. My heart was beating so fast and so hard, the way it does when you know the Holy Spirit is speaking to you, and it came back to me;" Hear Me with your eyes"! I cried out, "Oh, Lord give me understanding, I want to hear what You are showing me in this"! I felt the Lord telling me to take in all He had placed before me, to really look at what I was seeing. I was in awe, seeing all these brilliant colors dashing through the stillness of the cold, the dead of winter, where everything appears lifeless. It was as if God had taken Spring and set it right down into the middle of Winter!!!! Right in the middle of what appeared to be desolation, came life, exquisite and stunningly beautiful life!

This all happened so quickly, yet I realized, when a little old man was trying to get into my car, freaking the day lights out of Libby, that I had been blocking the drive. I proceeded on my way, though the Holy Spirit was still speaking to my heart. This vision I had taken in and Gods voice stayed with me the rest of the day and throughout that night. Although I believe this is one of those moments that God will continue to bring me back to, to reveal new things for a very long time, maybe even for the rest of my life. I believe what He was telling me right then was three things. One: Just how incredibly personal our God is. God knows my love of birds, He knew those birds would attract my attention. And, He knew my heart had been troubled. Two: No matter how desolete anything or situation can appear, underneath or inside is life. And God will bring newness and color into even into the darkest of circumstances. We may not understand or even see it happen, but I know God will bring something good out of that traggic situation. Third: God longs to speak to us in many ways, not just when we go to church or during praise and worship, or during our daily prayer or devotion time. God wants to and will speak directly into our hearts, if we will only keep our eyes open to hear Him. I think sometimes we kind of keep God in a box of our limited expectations, believing He will only speak to us as others do, when we are active in conversation. Although, I know God does speak at those times, I know now it's not the only time He speaks. He truely does speak to us in so many ways, He knows our hearts, our hurts, our ways. He knows exactly how to speak to us and when, if we will only keep our eyes open to hear!

Also, I experienced the love of God in a new way that day, in a way that I really don't think I could describe no matter how hard I tried. Since then, I have seen God speaking in several circumstances and situations, through people He has placed in my life, through books I am reading, Not to mention through His word and through prayer. The list of ways He speaks to us is literally endless.

I'm still praying about the second part of His message to me, "See Me with Your Ears", although I think maybe it's similiar to the first part, I'm going to keep an open mind and an open heart, not to mention eyes and ears to however the Lord would choose to reveal. I don't want to ever keep Him in a box of my own limited expectations again!

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I'm just popping over from Extravagant Grace after seeing your link for A thru Z! Welcome! Be sure to come back and link up when you have a specific post that fits in, so we can read what God is showing you!

About Me

I am just an ordinary girl going through life just like everyone else. Married to the love of my life, next to Jesus, that is, with five great kids, most of which are adults now.
I say I am just an ordinary girl and I am, but what makes my life spectacular is that I am not in it alone. I have Jesus in me and by me all the way, even when it doesn't feel like it. My hearts desire is to be as much like my Jesus while on this earth as humanly possible. To serve Him by serving others at every opportunity made available to me and to help others come to this same great love. To give until it hurts and then give some more. All for the love of the One who absorbed my sin that I may live. I am a thankful daughter of the King!