Friday

Where the He!! Have I Been?

okay so im gonna try and make this quick. the quicker i post the less i obsess. the less i obsess the more likely you are to read this TODAY not one day in July. isnt it great to witness my neurosis in all it's glory. thanks. ur such a pal.

so its been damn near 2 weeks since i posted. quite the opposite of my 3-4 times a week goal. and i say to that..HA! what the fuck was i thinking. i beat myself up for oly posting once a week and now look. damn. never good enough i know. i only like doing the things i cant do. if i can do it with ease...im not all that interested. didn't you know, life's supposed to be hard as hell. so im right on track with that one right? NOT!! its not but i see i have a tendancy to make it that way. and its no easy cliff to back away from. but i shall dam it...i shall. and starting with today. i refuse to apologize for not making this blog the grammy/emmy/bet/mtv/greatest blog ever winning blog in the whole frickin blogos-thing-a-ma-jig.

the truth is i have A LOT of shit going on. like...

my muse has taken a turn and has me in a new creative direction. i have long dreamed of having my own line of sassy and inspirationial t-shirt line. when i say long, i mean like 7 or 8 years ago and well it has resurfaced in full force and taken me by storm. i feel so inspired by the vision. i also feel so frustrated by not being able to do it EXACTLY how i want to. and i also feel so anxious that if i don't do it now then it might be too late. i know those last 2 are nutin but the devil knockin on my door. "get out a her you dam demon you!" but overall im truly excited and feeling even closer to my authentic creative voice. so more on that a lil later...and its gonna be sooo good!

i have also finally decided its time to move out of my mom's place and start looking for a job in charlotte...i sure hope no one from my current j.o.b. is reading this. oh well. if you are please know i have enjoyed my time but it's time to move on. but anyway...i've been out on the track like a hooker in high heels peddlin my resume all over the net. my intended move date is MAY 15. that also means ive been looking for an apartment and daycare. and hopefully they'll all be near each other (fingers and toes crossed). i can't believe ive been back in nc for almost a year and living with my mama to boot. and we have not tried to poison or choke each other not one time. dam now that's progress. but i feel i've mended my wings and its time toflyagain. i'm really excited and of course ill keep ya posted.

i think even more than the 5 or 6 physical directions ive been going in, my mind has been just as full. there are some big things on the horizon...good things...and im having to really process it and keep the voices in my head at bay. i could say so much about that but the bottom line is i won't be deterred by anyone...not even myself. so take that you over-active, extra-critical, scared-to-death inner critic. i got your number!