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I just remember wanting it done and over with, no feeling or emotion at all really. But, we didn't get married for the right reasons and are now divorced. However, the day I say I do or I will to the man i'm with now and going to marry for the right reasons I can almost 100% say i'll probably be crying my eyes out like a little child.

1. On my first wedding when I was 18, I cried and everyone thought it was bc I was so in love but it wasn't it was because I was sad bc I knew I was marrying someone who loved me but that I wasnt in love with bc I believed I was broken and would never be in love with anyone again so settling on this situation was the best I would ever do.

2. On my wedding day to Todd in 2005 in my 30s we both agreed neither of us were nervous even a tiny bit, we were both super excited and we didn't say "I do" exactly bc we said our own vows but we both got teary when we said them bc we were so happy and in love and we both felt soooo confident this was truly our happily ever after and that we are soulmates which neihter of us believed in at all until we met eachother.

I wasn't nervous or anxious at all. When I said those two little words, it's like everything that I was feeling.. the anxiety, the nerves, just everything over the past few months washed away and I felt 100% calm. It was just me and him at that point. I was home.

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