Can you put a price on a faked orgasm? How about $5 million?

He's your guyWhen stocks are high,But beware when they start to descend.It's then that those lousesGo back to their spouses.Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Although it's been over 55 years since Marilyn Monroe sashayed her way through "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend," the diamond industry's message has remained pretty consistent: a man's love is measured by the amount of compressed carbon that he buys for his lady friend. With dramatic music, excited expressions, and other tantalizing tricks, diamond commercials heavily hint that the secret to an active sex life lies in tasteful jewelry.

Under the circumstances, one may easily wonder why jewelry companies don't go the last few steps and just make the claim that diamonds are a cool carbon aphrodesiac.Szul Jewelers, an internet-based retailer, gave it a shot. Their "Rock Her World" ad campaign featured a beautiful, lingerie-clad model writhing on a bed and moaning passionately after receiving a diamond. The ad ended with the phrase "Jewelry works every time" superimposed over the scene.

The model, who has withheld her name, subsequently sued Szul for $5 million, stating that she did not "consent to [...] the use of her likeness, picture, image or name to simulate a female having an orgasm or otherwise experiencing sexual pleasure." The commercial was subsequently pulled from the Internet and the case was settled out of court.

It's certainly understandable that the model might not have wanted to have her face associated with unsavory sexual material, but it's also notable that the commercial was apparently not explicit. Moreover, it's hard to imagine how one could repeatedly perform sensual moans and groans before a camera, yet remain unaware of their sexual connotation. In retrospect, it seems like the unknown model's complaints have more to do with her original $200 compensation than with any real concerns about her image!

Bruce Watson is a freelance writer, blogger, and all-around cheapskate. He's wondering how to go about getting one of those sweet $200-for-a-fake-orgasm gigs.