Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Do-It-Yourself

Last spring I bought one of those Do-It-Yourself laser eye surgery kits. It didn't go so well.It sounded so simple in the ad.

Well anyhow, I'm back. And I plan to be back for awhile (as long as my new Do-It-Yourself intestine unkinking kit isn't a cheap hack, too).

I can't believe that we pay money for Do-It-Yourself anything. Can you imagine asking the neighbor kid to mow your lawn and he says "do it yourself" and then you give him five bucks?It's like tipping a waiter who tells you "hey, your food is in the kitchen" as he walks by. I think I'm just about out of the do-it-yourself game for awhile.

The only kit I would still recommend is the Do-It-Yourself manufacturing foreign currency kit. That really was a money maker.

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About Me

It was my mother who gave birth to me. I was much younger at the time. I am told that from the time I was born, I continued to grow larger and larger. Sometimes when someone hadn’t seen me for a couple of years, they’d remark, “My, how you have grown!” That’s what kind of tipped me off that this whole growth process was happening. I grew in other ways too. For example, I learned to talk, camp, kind of mosey around a lot, and communicate through dance. I continued to grow bigger all this time. And then at some point, all the growing stopped and I stayed the same size. However, I retained the ability to talk and camp without any noticeable decline. At no point during my growing phase did I ever grow gills or sprout wings or do anything else to cause me to believe that I was some kind of half-bird, half-fish type of creature. Other than that there is nothing else to note about me.