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For the fourth day in a row, Russian military aircraft have been spotted flying off the coast of Alaska.

As reported by CNN, the two most recent sightings occurred late Wednesday and yesterday, with the first involving two IL-38 maritime patrol aircraft, and the second involving two TU-95
nuclear-capable Bear bombers. The Russian aircraft never entered US airspace, but American and Canadian jets performed appropriate intercepts.

“We are very pleased that Crimea is now part of Russia; and Alaska used to be part of Russia as well. I just sent those planes to gather intelligence for our invasion. Our first target will be
Elmendorf Air Force Base, in Anchorage.”

“It is very clear to us that the United Staes has a bleak future. Look for Russia to continue expanding our empire this year.”

Elsewhere, Bill O’Reilly, fired by Fox News as he was returning from his vacation in Italy, has asked Italian Prime Minister Paolo Gentiloni Silveri for political asylum, but a spokesman for the
Prime Minister immediately issued a statement saying “Assolutamente no!"