Michael Vick had a long week in Dallas. At first, he was maybe hosting a party with a SWAT team and its own trailer that eventually got called off and that he had "no intention of participating" in anyway. Luckily, Vick's personal mentor Tony Dungy canceled the party.

Despite all that and despite other things, Dallas's Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway elected to give Vick a "token" key to the city — not the official shiny gold one, but a downgraded $25 key that all council members can give out to whomever they please. Like Gene Simmons, for example.

"It's simply and only," Caraway explained, "about the children" who attended the ceremony. That is very nice, and an excellent attempt at deflecting all further questions. Still, people were rather perturbed by the choice. And because anger that comes from a place that doesn't usually embrace exoneration often needs another outlet, Vick's week in Dallas ended with a radio host known as Big Dick following him around with a picture of his adopted "bait-dog" Mel. It is not entirely clear what Big Dick wanted out of a conversation with Vick. Tears? An apology? A promise to pay his vet bills? An autograph? A viral YouTube video? You be the judge.