Entries in twins
(29)

It Finally Happened

After 5 years I realized the Twofer really do have a "need" for each other that is stronger than your average sibling bond.

Maybe at 5 they are mature enough to understand their need. Or maybe at 5 they can better express how they feel. Whatever it is the other day I was telling L about a playdate she had coming up and I heard, plain as day,"Not without my sister!"

Me, "Since when?"

L, "I won't go unless M goes too."

And for the first time ever, I emailed the little girl's mom and asked if she could take both of my girls because the one was refusing to go without the other. I offered her Twofer the Price of One!

Something about this was different.

The new friend is a very shy and quiet little girl and she is in a different kindergarten class. This is exactly why I thought L would be a great friend to have. L alone is a little quieter, and sometimes shy herself. Most people don't know this because she can be riled into a silly, goofy, and loud little thing...with the help of her sister.

Also, I believe this is the first time L would be going to a new friend's house, alone. Usually she meets new friends at school, or we have them over to our house. I think she was just very uncomfortable going home with someone she didn't know very well and she realized that could be resolved by having her sister come too. Strength in numbers. Hmm, now where have I written about that before?

The other mother graciously accepted the invitation for her to take both of my children. (I would have had her daughter to my house but that day I was off being fabulous at a certain Fashion Show in New York.)

The Result?

The girls had a BLAST and by BLAST I mean supercalifragilstickexpialidocious.Because it was the day before Valentine's Day they each came home with a huge heart balloon, cards they had made at the friend's house, and wanting to have another playdate with their new friend AND the new friend's older brother!

I definitely don't want to make a habit of them going on playdates together. I want them to continue to learn how to make friends on their own. But you know, maybe having your sister there is just one of the benefits of growing up a twin, and maybe that's not such a bad thing to have.

I have posted before about the Twofer having certain jobs around the house. What I have not told you is how I realized that twins do not always work best as a team.

Take for example the dreaded dishwasher.

I hate emptying the dishwasher.My husband will do it reluctantly, and only when he damn well pleases which is often 24-48 hours after I've asked him. (I used to think his delay in emptying the dishwasher was a big F.U. to me. Now I know it's not about me, it's about the dishwasher. But that's another post. One that requires some level of therapy.)

I was happy hand over the job of emptying the dishwasher (with some supervision) to our twins. At first they were happy to help. Then it got stale, because our dishwasher is run every single day. Sometimes twice a day.

This great idea of mine was turning into a major referee job because the girls were fighting over every little thing...who did more, who wanted to do the silverware, who got stabbed with a fork, you get the idea.

I tried, "If M won't help than you just do your share and she'll have to do the rest."

I tried, "L, you do the silverware and dishes, M you do the pots/pans and glasses."

I tried splitting the racks, with one on top rack duty, the other, bottom.

I realized the dishwasher was better left to one person.

So now we keep track (sort of, you know I'm really bad at that) on a calendar, who emptied the dishwasher the day before.They each get a day off, which makes it less of a battle when it's their turn.Not only that, but they are thankful (I know, right?) when my husband picks up the slack!

As for filling the dishwasher, I still take that one because I'm the only one capable of loading the thing with any precision. (The same can be said for packing the car when we go away but again, that's another post because it involves exploring male/female roles in marriage and how my household seems to be a little skewed.)

Bottom line here folks, if you have twins, or even 2 or more kids, keep the chores separate. Each child can be held accountable for their quality of work, and they can be rewarded justly. Plus, they can learn teamwork on the soccer field where there are professional referees.

It's no surprise that as twins, the Twofer seem to have their own unique way of playing with each other. They already know the object of the game, the characters involved, and the adventure they are going on as they wander down the stairs with their walkie-talkies, binoculars, and sunglasses.

It's a daily dose of improv in my house:

M/Chicosay: "Calling Toofree, calling Toofree. Where's the mazradeur we need? Have you located it yet?"

L/Toofree: "It's in the clubhouse. I'm heading there now. Can you meet me Chicosay? Bring the flashlights!"

They also have designated roles that they play which doesn't really seem fair to me, but what do I know? I'm just the 3rd wheel they call Mom.

Sometimes they are both fairies, adventurers, etc. Still, for the most part they have reached an agreement on this without ever discussing it. An older sibling will engage the younger one in a particular role. With twins (my twins, anyway) they seem to automatically know.

And they seem happy like that...usually for at least an hour.Nothing lasts forever.

Clear your calendar this Sunday night, December 21 at 9:00 p.m. ET for the premier of National Geographic Channel's In The Womb: Identical Twins.

Yesterday I was lucky enough to see an advance copy and I was amazed by just how different identical twins can be, and why.

You can see the moment when a single cell rapidly multiplies into a blastocyst and see the many milestones as identical twins grow in-utero. Learn what happens when one identical twin doesn't fully develop, and why identical twins are not always subject to the same diseases.

My twins are obviously not identical but like most people (with or without twins) the idea of 2 identical children is fascinating. National Geographic covers several sets of identical twins including 2 boys one of whom weighed 6 1/2 pounds at birth while his 'identical' brother weighed just over a pound. Another set of twins had no contact with each other for 40 years and yet lead parallel lives.

Plus, the show explores what behavior is a result of nature versus nurture and how scientists can study the effects of genes on someone's personality.

The 4-D ultrasound is very cool and had me thinking back to my own pregnancy when the Twofer would kickbox each other on that little screen!

The girls really want to watch it and my only hesitation is the c-section part, and the fact that they don't really know how babies are made. I can hear it now, "Mommy? What's sperm and how do you get it?"

But I'd love for them to see what 2 babies inside a mommy's tummy looks like since they are used to hearing me tell stories.