Leslie Nielsen: Bumbling his way to stardom

Emily Robson/The Morning Call

In this March 2009 file photo, actor Leslie Nielsen kicked off DeSales University's student film festival with a question and answer session with university students at the Labuta Center for the Performing Arts on the university's campus.

In this March 2009 file photo, actor Leslie Nielsen kicked off DeSales University's student film festival with a question and answer session with university students at the Labuta Center for the Performing Arts on the university's campus. (Emily Robson/The Morning Call)

Geoff GehmanOf The Morning Call

Leslie Nielsen's got game. That is, he's game for just about any character who's absurdly serious or seriously absurd. A bumbling exorcist. A batty vampire. A lovably disastrous detective who, dressed as an umpire, mugs Queen Elizabeth II to save her from assassination.

Nielsen, in short, is the King Lear of spoofs. The 83-year-old actor will review his toweringly wacky career on Friday night during a student film festival at DeSales University in Center Valley. He previewed the Q&A during a recent telephone conversation from his home in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. Deftly deadpan and hilariously humble, he explained why he stopped being a closet comedian, why Charlie Chaplin is a soul mate and why he can never, ever play Hamlet.

Q: You've said you were a closet comedian until around 1980, when Jerry and David Zucker and Jim Abrahams gave you your true-blue comic breakthrough as a crazily straight-arrow doctor in "Airplane!" What took you so long to be really funny on camera?

A: I was reasonably reluctant to approaching comedy because I have such a respect for it. I worried that if they called upon me to do anything comic, I would screw it up and prove once again this is something I should not be doing. Remember, for a long time the only real comedy I had done was in the "M*A*S*H" episode "The Ringbanger" [1973].

But David and Jerry and Jim kept insisting and who was I to refuse them? They were smart enough to think I was funny, and I was dumb enough to think I was serious.

Q: Was there anything you ad libbed that made the final cut of "Airplane!"?

A: Yes and no. Improvisations with David and Jerry and Jim at the helm were simply not permitted. You had to try something once or twice more and they might put what you did with a juxtaposition, or they might change the dialogue. Usually I lost.

You know, the Zuckers are really very crafty. We would finish a take and David Zucker would say, "Oh, we're just using that for rehearsal." Then I found out he and Jerry weren't using it for rehearsal anything.

Q: They sound like real harsh taskmasters.

A: Yeah, they are, or they were. You know, it's tough because it paves the way to not trust anybody (laughs).

Q: So what is it about Lt. Frank Drebin, the doofy, disaster-prone detective you played in "The Naked Gun" series, that makes him so lovable?

A: The fact that he is a walking excuse for a good reason why good people like Frank Drebin should never be on the police force. There's Frank Drebin and then there's super cop, and you know the right one to choose in a crisis.

Q: So "Naked Gun" is really a series of sneaky police instructional videos?

Q: So here's another burning question: Who did you have to muscle to sing the theme song for the 1959 TV series "The Swamp Fox," where you played Col. Francis Marion, the Revolutionary War hero?

A: Well, I found out I could sing it just by showing up; it was just a case of bad judgment on their part (chuckles). There was a time, actually, when I thought I was a reasonable singer. I've given up on my singing career; now I'm just concentrating on perfecting the national anthem.

Q: Let's get serious for a moment. You've toured all over the world in David Rintel's solo play about Clarence Darrow, the famous human-rights trial lawyer. Why are you so drawn to him?

A: I've always been amazed and moved by the quality of his life. If a man didn't have any money to defend himself, Darrow would take the case. He single-handedly got the working man the eight-hour day back in the days of the coal miners. He saved 104 men from the hangman's noose. I don't think that's been matched by anybody else.

He was literally a leading man-star. People would flock to his trials and hope to get a seat or stand by an open window outside -- just to hear him making his defense. And his summations were incredibly long. It was normal for him to go for eight hours; the coal-miner summation lasted 12 hours! One reason that men and women attended his summations was because they would be moved. In fact, it's impossible for me to read his summations without dissolving into tears.

I decided I needed to do "Clarence Darrow" because, after "The Naked Gun" and my association with David and Jerry and Jim, I knew that very few non-comic properties would be coming my way. There was no way out: I was committed now to being dumb and stupid.

I own the rights to the play, so you can see I'm serious. I often find myself behind the steering wheel of my car and I'm rehearsing without realizing it the speeches of Clarence Darrow. If I had a piano and could play it in the car, I would be playing the Clarence Darrow music. Darrow is something that will last with me for a long time; it's kind of my pyramid.

Q: Are there any other dramatic roles you want to tackle before you kick the mortal coil? Is there a King Lear in your wheelhouse?

A: I'm afraid not, even though I love Shakespeare. Lear would have been an interesting selection because he runs around in those nightgowns with those crowns. But Hamlet was absolutely beyond my reach because my simply doing it would be bringing comedy to it. You see, from my early days in the Northwest Territories of Canada, from my birth on upwards, I had a severe case of rickets that left my legs bowed at the ankles. And I don't think Hamlet should be played by someone with bowed legs! (laughs uproariously).

Q: You seem pretty game for anything nutty: You were pretty much naked in "Scary Movie 4," and you played a cross-dresser in an episode of "Scrubs." Are you at all tired of appearing in spoofs?

A: No, not a bit. The only reason I would get tired would be if I wouldn't be able to work again with David Zucker. I think he stands Numero Uno at the top of the list of comedic film directors. I was dying at the possibility that one day he would wake up and wouldn't find a legitimate reason to like me and would find a reason to decimate my career.

Q: But this paranoia is over, right?

A: No, I'm afraid that fear lingers (chuckles).

Q: How about your comedy role models?

A: Charlie Chaplin was always my favorite. He was extremely talented and funny and his fun was so filled with surprises. I'll never forget that scene when he has a chance to go out to the middle of a lake, and with all kinds of movements he's going to make a pass at how he's going to dive, and all of a sudden he springs up into a remarkably perfect straight dive -- not realizing he's diving into 9 inches of water! (laughs merrily) And I just fell out of the chair!

You know, I once had the sort of honor reserved for Chaplin. I was in Spain, touring as part of "Naked Gun," when, all of a sudden, people started shouting: "Toro! Toro! Toro!" It took me a long time to realize they were paying tribute to me. It was an accolade from people who misunderstood that I had talent.

Q: Sorry, but I've got to ask this one: How often do you get asked to participate in that classic "Airplane!" dialogue: "Surely, you can't be serious?" followed by "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley"?

A: All the time, oh yeah. David and Jerry nailed it immediately and it's been following me ever since. But that comes with the territory. And I have absolutely no qualms about it.

Q: What's the best advice you ever received about playing comedy?

A: Always sit down.

Q: You know, remembering that you had to compete with Robby the Robot in that sci-fi classic "Forbidden Planet" [1956], how about this one: Never act with children, animals or robots?

A: Oh, I think that's 100 percent true. You can't be around Robby the Robot anywhere on or near a camera. All you can hope to do is take the Rin Tin Tin part.

ODDS AND ENDS ABOUT A FUNNY GUY

-His father was a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

-In World War II, he was an aerial gunner for the Royal Canadian Air Force.

-In 1950 he appeared in nearly 50 live television shows.

-He sang the theme song of the 1959 TV series "The Swamp Fox."

-His movie characters include Debbie Reynolds' love interest ("Tammy and the Bachelor"), Col. George Armstrong Custer ("The Plainsman") and a jealous husband buried up to his neck in sand by zombies ("Creepshow").

-His first truly clownish role was in " Kentucky Fried Movie" (1977), where he played a man in a Feel-o-Rama film.

-He received a 1982 Emmy nomination for lead actor in a comedy series for "Police Squad!"