After careful consideration, The Chitlin’ has chosen a
Presidential Candidate to support.

Of the remaining contenders, we looked at each of them with the
critical eye, only The Chitlin’ can bring to the table. Our
assessments are as follows…

THE REPUBLICIANS

TRUMP – Hell No. Just can’t see it. Our biggest issue with “The
Donald” is his ability to get the angry-white-man vote mobilized
and what this dangerous demographic will do if he wins, but also
if he loses.

CRUZ – If Trump is a “bad choice” we feel Cruz could actually be
“The Devil.” From his looks to his tone and style, he scares us
so much, if it came down to a two man race between Trump and
Cruz in the general election, The Chitlin’ would have to
reconsider its “Hell No” stance on Trump.

KASICH – He hasn’t quit yet?

THE DEMOCRATS

First of all, The Chitlin’ is a left-leaning black satire site,
and we feel a Democrat would be less of a hindrance to our form
of humor with their policies and positions. This doesn’t in any
way say we trust them more, but only that as a political party,
they seem a little less crazy than the Republicans.

CLINTON – We feel she can get things done. Hillary is an insider
and people on the inside respect her. She’s like that lawyer, we
feel is a little slimy, but if we were on trial for a murder
we know we committed,
we’d want her on our defense team.

SANDERS – Bernie has been around for years and the thing we like
about him is his consistency. He hasn’t had to do a lot of
rebranding over his political career. Yes, he’s old as hell, and
looks a little like the Crypt Keeper must have appeared before
he died, but Bernie comes across as a standup guy who wants good
things from the average American.And this is why The Chitlin’ has thrown its full support
behind BERNIE SANDERS!