You're Doing It Wrong

Tara talks about being in hospital with her newborn baby and her first experience of breastfeeding.

She experienced a sense of pressure that, as a woman and a new mother, your body should just know how to breastfeed. It should just come naturally. It wasn't like this for Tara. It wasn't coming naturally.

The pressure Tara experienced to get it right left her feeling disappointed in herself. The message of "that's just how you do it" confused her and amplified an experience of shame.

Tara reflects on how, when expecting a baby, you focus on pregnancy and birth. You get the cot ready. But you don't necessarily think of anything else. As a new mother, struggling to breastfeed, Tara felt herself to be deeply unprepared and the situation became far more stressful than she had ever imagined.

Ultimately, though, Tara found it to be an experience in which she learnt about self-empowerment. She describes how, next time, she would not be afraid to tell people if they are not helping. The lesson, for her, was to trust her instincts.