>>>
Hereâ€™s another perspective: Think about this!
What if you were the man suspected of rape and you didnâ€™t do it. Do you have any idea how embarrassing and degrading it is. Itâ€™s just as bad for an innocent man to be accused as it is the victim themselves in my opinion. You were completely innocent and somebody who was unfortunately abused accuses you of this terrible crime. The media spreads your name and picture all over the community. Your guilty on the next days paper or newscast before your even able to explain that your not. I had a friend quite some time ago who this happened to. How sad society has become, now two people are victims because one un-thoughtful selfish idiot who decided it was ok to assult another of us. The first the actual rape victim and the second one because of a confused person who was assulted, couldnâ€™t make the correct decision about there assailant. The story ends with my friend taking his life as he could no longer bear societyâ€™s shame for something he DIDNâ€™T DO and HAD NO PART OF! He was fired from his job, he couldnâ€™t get another job, financial and emtional disaster set in, and finally he could no longer withstand the pressure of this action, and took his own life. How sadâ€¦
>>>>>>>

Let’s put this in perspective: While this is certainly a terrible story, and I’m very sorry it happened to your friend, it is simply anecdotal evidence representing a negligible percentage of rape reports. Rape is one of the most underreported crimes in America. Would you like me to share the countless stories of women who truthfully report, only to be crucified by the media (and, quite frankly, people who share the victim-blaming attitudes you’re professing) until THEIR lives are ruined? It’s a far more common scenario than the one you’ve shared. Or, we could talk about the women who don’t report for fear of the reaction you’ve posed here. “She should have done “x”, then this wouldn’t have happened.” NO. HE shouldn’t have used “y” as an excuse to rape.

>>>>>>>>
Act responsibly, be aware of your surroundings, stay away from areas that open up opportunity to trouble, and donâ€™t send confusing body language(open wallet, wearing expensive items to seedy bars, suggestive clothing, make stupid public remarks, insult others, bold and glancing stares, entering a questionable area with a chip on your shoulder, etc. etc.) to improve your chances of not having this terrible act forced on you.
>>>>>>>

Instead, I challenge men: act responsibly. Don’t objectify or harass women. Don’t aggressively hit on them in bars, don’t try to worm your way into their apartments, and don’t try to convince, cajole, hassle, or otherwise coerce them into doing something they don’t want to do or can’t make a decision about. When you see your friends doing these things, call them on it. Tell them it’s not right. It could be your sister, your girlfriend, your spouse, your neighbor, your coworker… if all men took responsibilty for their actions, and spoke out when their buddies and coworkers started acting shady or offensive, these things wouldn’t happen. It’s easier and much more important than you think. When we challenge sexist, misogynistic ideals, we take steps toward restructuring a rape-supportive belief system. We can ALL take action to stop sexual violence. Worried your friends will call you a sissy? Chances are, you’re not the only one in the group who’s uncomfortable when your friend starts degrading women. Be brave. Be the first to say something. You’ll have more allies than you think.

>>>>>>
You know if you place something of desire in front of a sick person, they will go for it.
>>>>>>

Here’s the really scary part: rapists aren’t clinically sick. THERE IS NO PROFILE OF A RAPIST. They’re normal, everyday guys who’ve spent a lifetime learning that women are there for sexual gratification. They learn that women just need to be convinced they want sex.

>>>>>
Since rape and violent crimes seem not to be going away anytime soon it would be mindful for you to stop complaining and start being proactive. Nothing gets done if you complain. Police and society need solutions to problems not just more badgering of current problems.
>>>>>

She’s debunking rape myths, talking about perpetrator responsibility, and utilizing the internet to reach a large number of people. I think she’s being very pro-active.

]]>By: paulhttp://blog.timesunion.com/readandreact/35/ualbany-rape-case/comment-page-1/#comment-346
Sun, 29 Oct 2006 03:22:41 +0000http://blogs.timesunion.com/readandreact/?p=35#comment-346Whatever
]]>By: leenerhttp://blog.timesunion.com/readandreact/35/ualbany-rape-case/comment-page-1/#comment-345
Fri, 27 Oct 2006 14:49:25 +0000http://blogs.timesunion.com/readandreact/?p=35#comment-345I doubt anyone is reading this much anymore, but I thought I’d share the following story, because it really relates how some people see women as being responsible for rape:

Australia’s most prominent Islamic cleric declared Friday that he would not resign for suggesting that women who don’t wear head scarves invite rape…

… In a translation from Arabic by the newspaper, later verified by other media, al-Hilali was quoted as saying: “If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside … and the cats come to eat it … whose fault is it, the cats’ or the uncovered meat’s?”

“The uncovered meat is the problem. If she was in her room, in her home, in her hijab, no problem would have occurred,” he was quoted as saying, referring to the head scarf worn by some Muslim women….

Just some food for thought!

]]>By: paulhttp://blog.timesunion.com/readandreact/35/ualbany-rape-case/comment-page-1/#comment-344
Wed, 25 Oct 2006 23:29:23 +0000http://blogs.timesunion.com/readandreact/?p=35#comment-344GaGa
Well said
]]>By: leenerhttp://blog.timesunion.com/readandreact/35/ualbany-rape-case/comment-page-1/#comment-343
Wed, 25 Oct 2006 19:35:00 +0000http://blogs.timesunion.com/readandreact/?p=35#comment-343Sorry gaga, I just think that the precautions expected of women victimize then all on their own. Equating what women wear, where they go and what they ingest with leaving a child alone is simply unfair.

And again, what everyone seems to be ignoring is that these precautions simply don’t have much of an effect on rape, because most rapes occur in places you trust with people you know. That is the truth and that is what we need to acknowledge if we are EVER to find a solution to this problem.

]]>By: GaGahttp://blog.timesunion.com/readandreact/35/ualbany-rape-case/comment-page-1/#comment-342
Wed, 25 Oct 2006 03:00:18 +0000http://blogs.timesunion.com/readandreact/?p=35#comment-342This is obviously an emotional issue for all. Did the victim invite her attack? Is it her own fault? Of course not. Rape is a crime, and should be treated as such. As with most any crime, however, there are practical steps we can take to protect ourselves.

Do you leave your front door unlocked? Do you leave your keys in the car? Do you carry large amounts of cash? These actions increase the odds of being robbed. If we don’t want to be robbed, we don’t do these things.

Do you leave young children home alone? Are your cleaning supplies in a place easily accessible to your young children? Do you let them play alone outside? These actions increase the odds of young children being hurt. To protect our children, we avoid these actions.

To suggest that taking precautions to reduce the odds on being raped is somehow giving in to men is ludicrous. Each of us is responsible for our own actions, both the criminal and the victim.

A true cliche: There are no guarantees in this life. We can take all the safety precautions we know, and we still may be victimized. Does this release us from the obligation to take those precautions? No.

]]>By: myohmyhttp://blog.timesunion.com/readandreact/35/ualbany-rape-case/comment-page-1/#comment-341
Tue, 24 Oct 2006 11:31:12 +0000http://blogs.timesunion.com/readandreact/?p=35#comment-341#18…my point was that no matter what the circunstances there will always be rapes…murders…pervs etc….preventative measures MAY insure a decrease in such crimes

I like these Blogs cuz for the most part I get to share others opinions & may see situations in a different light…there are always different sides of a story & to air our comments in a respectful manner makes for great debates & shows that we care what’s going on in the World…

]]>By: Michael Huber, timesunion.comhttp://blog.timesunion.com/readandreact/35/ualbany-rape-case/comment-page-1/#comment-340
Mon, 23 Oct 2006 21:41:35 +0000http://blogs.timesunion.com/readandreact/?p=35#comment-340Another blogger, Liz Funk, wrote an entry on this issue. Read her opinion.
]]>By: paulhttp://blog.timesunion.com/readandreact/35/ualbany-rape-case/comment-page-1/#comment-339
Mon, 23 Oct 2006 20:44:02 +0000http://blogs.timesunion.com/readandreact/?p=35#comment-339Leener, no but I carry a defensive knife. I do not walk alone in questionable areas. No I am not joined a the hip with anyone. I do however visit with friends and walk with them. No everyone who does is not a fool. As for your last statement I believe you…
]]>By: leenerhttp://blog.timesunion.com/readandreact/35/ualbany-rape-case/comment-page-1/#comment-338
Mon, 23 Oct 2006 17:48:23 +0000http://blogs.timesunion.com/readandreact/?p=35#comment-338Do you carry pepperspray around Paul, to prevent being mugged? Do you ever walk alone or are you joined at the hip with someone? Is everyone who does not a “fool?”

I’ve acted like a “fool” for years now, and I’ve been just fine thanks.