15 DAY 270

15 DAY 269

★ 57.44 / 66. HUNG OUT WITH AN OLD CO-WORKER, HER SISTER, AND HER FRIEND/ROOMMATE IN MIDTOWN, MANHATTAN

I took the train to Penn Plaza after breakfast. While waiting for my co-worker and her friends to show up, I read The Lord of the Rings at a small park outside of One Penn Plaza. The weather was beautiful, though a little chilly. A few pages into my reading, I stopped. I walked around the neighborhood, looking for Two Penn Plaza. I have an interview at Two Penn Plaza in the coming week.

My co-worker showed up about a half hour later. We went to an outdoor food court nearby, where she purchased breakfast. My mind zoomed out while waiting for my co-worker to get her food. I daydreamed about receiving a job offer from my upcoming interview, and having lunch at the food court, once I started on my new job.

Subsequently, we walked to a movie theater, where we saw The Scorch Trial. The film was a utter mess. It fell below my expectation.

My co-worker's sister brought homemade brownies to the theater. My co-worker told me that they were low-calorie brownies. Regardless, the brownies were delicious.

After the movie, we found a restaurant on 9th Ave for late lunch. Burgers and Cupcakes was the name of the restaurant. I ordered the special of the day. It was delicious, like how burgers and fries should be.

We went shoe shopping afterward. I was desperately in need of a new pair of sneakers.

15 DAY 268

Breakfast, Bagel

Lunch #1, Panera Bread

Lunch #2, Panera Bread's Chicken Cobb with Avocado Salad

No Casual Friday

Their judging gazes made me uncomfortable. I filled up my water bottle and swiftly returned to my cubicle.

★ 57.44 / 66. HUNG OUT WITH OLD CO-WORKERS AT THE BOHEMIAN HALL AND BEER GARDEN IN ASTORIA, QUEENS + VISITED AN OLD CO-WORKER'S FRIEND'S APARTMENT IN FORT GREENE, BROOKLYN

As a part of my unstuck my stuck-up-ness initiative, I finally came out of hiding. This was my first time hanging out with my old co-workers at a happy hour gathering since the Thailand trip.

After having a drink and a burger, I left early with an old co-worker and her friend. We visited her friend's apartment in Fort Greene, Brooklyn.

15 DAY 267

I had a revelation some days before - I am stuck up. I am insecure too, but I am just as stuck up as I am insecure, and the combination of the two has proven to be disastrous and is exactly the reason why I am in the situation I am in. This, I concluded.

Recognizing your problem is the first step to solving your problem. Realizing and accepting that I am a shallow, superficial, stuck up ass was the first step to unstuck my stuck-up-ness. This week, I was determined to put down my pride.

However, I was not given another chance to exercise my newly set mentality. I had let another golden opportunity slip by.

At least that was what I thought at first.

God pitied me, and projected another lucky chance right in face, as I was about to leave.

I stayed and I talked. The conversation was dry, drier than the Sahara, drier than Mars, but I trekked on. I tried my best to not be my old self, who would have cooly left the establishment for the thought of leaving was already planted in my head.

However, I stayed, because I recognized that this was an opportunity like no opportunities before. This was an opportunity that was better than all other opportunities prior. Man, I tried. I really tried, but something else besides my superficiality, shallowness, and stuck-up-ness - my inexperience - came over the situation, pouring on my parade, and before long, another heaven sent chance for something I longed for vaporized to dust.

I finally left, feeling uneasy.

This is not over, I said to myself. I swiftly returned home and wrote a message, a message more grand than my pride, and sent it out.

Like Jesse Eisenberg playing Mark Zuckerberg in the movie, The Social Network, after sending a friendship request to his ex-girlfriend, I impatiently waited.

Lunch #2, Panera Bread's Chicken Cobb with Avocado Salad

15 DAY 266

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF FALL!

Breakfast, Kellog's Rice Krispies Treats

KELLOG'S RICE KRISPIESTREATS

These Rice Krispies treats have really grown on me. They taste the best with Lactaid's Whole Milk, sweet on more sweet. I eat two packs of the treats for breakfast on the mornings I remember to bring some to work.

Lunch #1, China Garden's Hot & Sour Soup

CHINA GARDEN'S HOT AND​SOUR SOUP

The hot and sour soup has really grown on me as well, especially as the weather gets cooler.

Lunch #2, CG's Chicken with Cashew Nuts

CHINA GARDEN'S CHICKENWITH CASHEW NUTS

I usually order the baby shrimp with cashew nuts. I wanted to try a different dish today, so I ordered the chicken with cashew nuts. The latter dish is not nearly as delicious as the former.

1 / 9 / 12. WHATAYA WANT FROM ME?

I walked through the packed room and sat down on one of the two empty chairs left untaken. A bearded man - I estimated that he was in his late twenties or early thirties - was sitting across from me. He reached out his hand for a handshake, charmingly smiled, and introduced himself. I absentmindedly returned my introduction. My mind was still bothered by the thought that I might not be welcome at the meetings.

Long story short, I felt uncomfortable during Wednesday meeting. I started feeling uneasy the night before when the hosts of the meetings left me off their email list for the third consecutive time. Take a hint, we do not want you here, as if they said.

Subsequently, I emailed one of the organizers to ask him to make sure that the front desk has my name on their security clearance list. He did not return my email, and I was rejected to enter the building the next day when I showed up at meeting location, because, as I had expected, my name was not on clearance list. Go home! Nobody likes you, as if they said.

I told the front desk ladies that it was okay, then picked up my backpack and turned to leave. Just then, one of the board members, who was running late, fatefully walked through the revolving door. She was on the list. The guards allowed me to enter the building with her.

The conference room was already packed when I arrived, more filled than usual. All but two empty chairs sitting opposite to where I had entered the room were left untaken. I strongly dislike showing up late to events, and I strongly dislike even more doing anything that would collect more attention when showing up late, and walking across the meeting room under everyone's judging gazes was my punishment for being tardy.

The host of the meeting scanned the room after I sat down. It looked like purposely leaving your name off the security clearance list was not enough to get rid of you, as if he said.

I was overwhelmed with emotions throughout and after the meeting.

15 DAY 265

HAPPY HOBBIT DAY!

Detection

I had my new book laid out on my desk. One of my co-workers walked pass my cubicle and commented on it. He told me that there is another series that I should look into if I enjoy The Lord of the Rings. However, he could not think of the title of the series at the moment.

Greater plans

About thirty minutes later, the same co-worker sent me an email with the name of the books that he could not think of earlier. It was The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. I politely emailed him back, stating in my email that I would definitely look into the series once I am finished with reading The Lord of the Rings.

"Definitely" was definitely a lie.

I have a list of books lined up that I am planning to read after I am through with reading The Lord of the Rings, including its prequel, The Hobbit, and three books that I recently purchased from Amazon.com - The Old Man and the Sea by Earnest Hemingway, Moby Dick by Herman Melville, and Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury - among many other classics that I have yet to lay my hands on, such as F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby, George Orwell's Animal Farm and 1984, and Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle and Slaughterhouse Five, and many, many more. I had set a goal to read as many classics in my lifetime as I possibly can.

I concluded from my research on Wikipedia that The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant is not a classic. ​

Happy Hobbit Day!

About another thirty minutes later, the same co-worker walked to my cubicle and asked me to look up Bing.com's Picture of the Day. It was a photo of the Shire, specifically Frodo, the titular character's, residence. I found out later that night via Instagram that September 22 is known as The Hobbit Day. The next day, I discovered through the novel that September 22 is both Frodo and his uncle, Bilbo's, birthday, hence the aforementioned date was named as such.

How appropriate that I started reading The Lord of the Rings right around The Hobbit Day!

CHicken Cobb with Avocado Salad

My Chicken Cobb with Avocado (no cheese, Asian Sesame Dressing instead of its default Greek Dressing) salad was smaller than usual today, and I was not too happy about it. ​

Breakfast, Kellog's Rice Krispies Treats

Lunch #1, Panera Bread

Lunch #2, Panera Bread's Chicken Cobb with Avocado Salad

The Itch

The itch started in the morning, the second I put on those same shirt and pants that I had wore the day before. By 6:30 p.m., I had lost my mind.

It felt like there were a gazillion micro-bugs crawling on my body. I was disgusted at myself.

Scott Eastwood

I looked back, then I looked back again. He looked like a hybrid of someone that I knew in college and Scott Eastwood.

The train arrived. I stepped onto the cart and turned around. I thought he was standing right behind me, but he wasn't. I scanned the cart that I was in, the adjacent carts, and the now emptied platform, he was nowhere to be seen.

18 / 46. RAN TO THE GYM + WORKED OUT

After two consecutive days of rest, I am finally back on training. My right knee was feeling a lot better, so I decided to run to the gym like I usually do. I was hoping that my eight-years old running shoes would pull through another night. I was planning to go shoe shopping tomorrow. However, it seemed like the poor sneakers just could not take another beating. After eight years of faithful service, they had finally threw in the towel, completely given up on supporting my feet and legs. My ankles was twisting funny throughout the run. A quarter of the way to the gym, my knee started to hurt again. I slowed down to a jogging pace, but eventually had to come to a full stop, when the pain grew unbearable. I took the train home after the gym session.

I rarely attend the gym with planned workout and today was no different. I am still a novice muscle builder. I did mostly upper body exercises. I felt my chest and arm muscles stretching and ripping with each exercise. While the workout session might not have been the most effective, any small progress was better than no progress.

15 DAY 264

Lunch #1, Panera Bread

★ Bought a new Book, The Lord Of the rings, from Barnes and Noble, in Midtown, Manhattan

I bought a new book this evening, The Lord of the Rings, by J. R. R. Tolkien. I read the beginning commentaries to the novel on the subway ride home tonight. According to my reading, The Lord of the Rings is actually not a trilogy, but a single work that was published in three parts. Anyways, I am very content with my purchase, and I am looking forward to dive into the Land of Mordor.

Lunch #2, Panera Bread's Thai Chicken Salad

Unease

Usually, I would feel okay by Monday morning. However, today was different. The disgusting feeling lingered.

clear my mind

​A chilly breeze swept by as I stepped out of the shuttle bust. The cooler morning slightly lightened my mood. Even though I was only wearing a thin t-shirt, I was reluctant to step into the building, away from the cold.

L

She was getting ready for battle as the other co-workers openly bad-mouthed about the new printer that she had recently ordered for our company.

She tried to hold her composure, forcefully slowed down the pace of her speech, as she defended the troubled machine, like a mother shielding a child from harm. However, the angst in her voice escaped no one that she was taking her co-workers' criticisms toward the printer very personally, because she knew that her co-workers knew that she was the one who made the decision to purchase that specific machine. It was clear in her mind that her co-workers were really throwing daggers at her and not the printer, for a printer was after all only an inanimate object and would not had felt the hurtful insults her mean co-workers were projecting. THEIR ULTIMATE TARGET WAS ME! She shouted in her head, as she sat hopelessly at the corner of the conference room, without backing down, enduring every hateful word as it pierced through her fragile heart.​

90. FURTHER EXPERIMENTED WITH DIFFERENT LAYOUTS

I further experimented with different layouts in an effort to set up an aesthetically pleasing arrangement for the site. I have another idea in mind that would required re-formatting some of the photos. I am hoping to finalize a set up by the end of this week.

15 DAY 263

2 / 15 / 21 / 24 / 30. 617

This is an old photograph that was captured the summer that I graduated from college, summer of 2013. I had posted the picture on Instagram, then took the picture down a few times before. Then, I posted the image again today.

​​This morning on my way to get breakfast, I ran into a film crew assembling a movie set on East Broadway. They were filming a new Ghostbusters movie. I wikipedia-ed the movie during breakfast. According to Wikipedia, the movie stars Melissa McCarthy and Chris Hemsworth with a release date in 2016.

90. WORKED ON FORMATTING THE SITE

​I have been working on the site a lot the past few days. Today, I further experimented with various layouts in an effort to find a set up that I like. In addition, I finally jump started the Daily Scratches page, where I will be posting quick writes, or "scratches", documenting my everyday endeavors in accomplishing my goals.​