"We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned,so that we can have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell.

Now, I don't know who Joseph is, but what he said is true. When we get saved, our whole lives change - including our "hopes and our dreams". Our priorities change along with this. Back in 1993 I had everything I wanted. I had an old "farm house" and a mini farm to go with it. My purpose was to get off to ourselves and become basically self sufficient in every way. That meant, we had a milk cow, named Bessie, for our milk & we made our own butter. We had chickens for eggs & meat. We had some pigs that DD#1 named Cleopatra & Carletta (don't ever name an animal you are rasing for meat) that we butchered, we had plenty of venison as well. We even had a duck named Petunia who love to "help" us plant our flower beds. I had it all, husband making good money & I was able to be a SAHM - my dream was to have a farm that was self sufficient and after it got on its own feet we could take in underpriviledged children for a week at a time and let them "work" on the farm as in the olden days. Give them a taste of farm life if you will. Life was perfect.

I got into a discussion with a relative & we were discussing what women should wear and I voiced what the bible said about it. S he said "Lori, if you believe that way, then why are YOU not living it?" I was so ashamed at that point, and my life has never been the same. You see, God used that phrase to start dealing with me. I looked around my "camelot" and realized that it could not fill the void in my heart. I was empty inside, I was only living for this world - in the end after all my dreams came into reality - where would it leave me at the judgement? I had everything I wanted, but there was a hole in my life, I was miserable, had made a horrible mess out of not only MY life, but our children as well, there was no inner peace, what example was I giving to my children? And if M (relative mentioned above) could live what she believed in, what was I doing - living a way that I knew was NOT right for me? Was I a hypocrit living that way? Living contrary to what I really believed? I sought God with all my heart. I know that he doesn't answer a sinner's prayer except for repentance, but I asked him to show ME what was right for ME - I didn't want to get saved and go to the Church of God just because my mom, sibling & my FIL went there & it would be "expected of me". I wanted to KNOW in MY heart that it was the right way to go. God gave me a strong desire to read & search the scriptures for the answers. I started practicing Deu 22:5 and started looking up what God said about sinning & claiming to be saved at the same time! I wanted to KNOW these things in my heart. I started making a change in my life even BEFORE I got saved. I had to PROVE to MYSELF that I really wanted this way of life. You see, as God was dealing with my heart, the enemy of our souls was there too - he was telling me that "I was a failure - had been a failure - and would NEVER be able to live it. I had tried too many times. I had gone out in sin & done too much stuff, I had almost destroyed my marriage, my children, there was NO way that I would be able to live it & be happy. Just forget about it." Well dear ones, one thing that I have learned, is that "SATAN IS A LIAR".

I was hungry & I was thirsty. Bro Pastor has been preaching a series on the Beatitudes found in Matthew 5: 1-11 and in verse 6 it reads "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled." So that was my promise.

I didn't get 'saved' the traditional way, no, I called my FIL (who was Pastor at Westlawn Church of God at the time) and asked if HE had been praying extra for me. I didn't have "plans" to get saved that morning - I was just trying to get my ducks in a row if you will before I took that step. That was at 9am on a Tuesday morning, April 19, 1994. I was in my living room 171 miles away from Westlawn. After counselling & prayer, God forgave me of my sins to SIN NO MORE, God saved my soul.

My life changed completely that morning & its never been the same since! In order to get to church my children and I drove one way (171 miles doorstep to doorstep) for 13 months every weekend. Why didn't we move sooner? Several factors but the most important one is - God didn't work it out right away - he allowed that time to prove myself to HIM that I was determined to STAY saved by God's grace. He told me in Matthew 6:33 - "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you". I did just that & God worked it out that we moved to Huntsville after our oldest daughter graduated from High School. We packed the truck all day long, took time out to go to the ceremony, came home and changed clothes & moved to Huntsville that night!

So, I said all this so that you could see how my dreams have changed - I no longer live for what I want. That was another whole lifetime ago. I no longer do the things I used to do, think like I used to think, act & react like I used to. You see, God made me a new creature, 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." And for me, all things did become new - the grass looked greener, food tasted better, my outlook / future looked brighter, I was a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. One of my siblings told me they were glad that I had gotten saved as they didn't like me when I wasn't! Wow, that was a shock! But looking back I can see how that was true. I was out for ME ME ME, didn't care what I did - who I stepped over to get what I wanted WHEN I wanted it! I was a miserable person, but Praise God, I am no more! I have that Peace, Joy, and Righteousness the Bible talks about.

I could go on & on and tell you what all God has done for me these past 12 years since my life has changed, but I will save it for later maybe. But I am sure glad that I was WILLING to get RID of my OLD plans/life so that I could live the life that God had planned for ME. Glory to God, he gets ALL the praise. Praise His Holy Name.

Thank you sweetie - I love you too. And I would never think of giving up on any of my children, as long as their is breath, there is hope. I am very thankful you are saved too. Stay true to God - he CANNOT fail!