Sometimes the inspiration to write a “Drunk In…..” post hits me long after the fact, when it dawns on me that I’ve got heaps of photos of us being drunken fools in some foreign city. Other times I just know that a city is going to be excellent “Drunk In…..” material before we even set foot in it. Lisboans are renowned for their love of eating, drinking and staying up way past their bedtimes. As you know kids, that’s my kinda town.

So, we got to town, dropped off our bags and hit the street. No point dilly dallying. We were staying right around the corner from the Mercado da Ribeira (officially known as the Time Out Market…. blech!). The market is known as a world-class food hall but we had a fancy dinner booked that night and didn’t want to ruin our appetites. We were, however, looking for a drink (natch!) and we also just wanted to scope the place. It was buzzing on a Monday afternoon which is always a good sign. We grabbed a couple of large glasses of white sangria to ease into the spirit of things and figure out our next move.

A food hall is a great way to eat a quick bite of really good food. Time Out Market only includes vendors that rate four or five in their reviews, ensuring the quality stays high.

White sangria is the shizzle!! Delicious and refreshing and alcoholic.

Unsurprisingly, our next move was a quick recon to find the best pastéis de nata in our ‘hood, Cais do Sodré. You might recognise these little delights as Portuguese tarts, but don’t you dare call them that in Portugal. You call them pastéis de nata or you just go home right now. I have a feeling that some of you might think you know what these things taste like. I’mma stop you right there. You don’t know, you just think you know. Don’t worry about it, we thought we knew, and we didn’t know. That first bite totally blew our minds. How on earth could something taste so good? I’m talking next level. I won’t tell you how many of these we had during our four days in Lisbon. Not because I’m embarrassed. I just lost count. Let’s say a ludicrously large number.

Pensão Amor was one of those perfectly serendipitous discoveries that totally begets a “Drunk In…..” post. We’d been walking around for hours and were in need of a refreshing libation (and also a toilet), when lo and behold there it was, in all its quirky glory. A lot of cocktail bars don’t open until evening, but the great thing about Pensão Amor is that they appreciate the merits of daytime drinking and, thoughtfully, fling open their doors at 2pm. David ordered cocktails while I went in search of the loo, which ended up being a very small, candle-lit, graffiti-splattered cubicle with a very curious, but delightful, display of Barbie dolls doing unspeakable things to each other to entertain you while you do your business (I did say quirky, right?).

David’s Pisco Punch (kinda like a Hawaiian Pisco sour – which actually really works) and my Hemingway (yeah, sometimes I can be a classy bitch).

The bar has several rooms – this one is the Wild West saloon style room with a projector showing silent black and white movies of circus freak shows from the 1920s. Quirky.

A Cevicheria is a very fashionable, very well-reviewed ceviche restaurant that doesn’t take reservations (booooo!). What makes this place so great is that, since they’re making people wait on the street, they’ve opened up a little window on the side from which they serve delicious Pisco sours. Yay, Pisco sours!! And you don’t even need to be waiting for a table to get them. You just roll on up and drink them in the street before carrying on with your business. Have you ever heard of anything so civilised????

Fado is a style of Portuguese music expressive of all the melancholy and malaise the Portuguese have experienced since… well, forever. The country may now be enjoying an upswing in fortunes and, paradoxically, so is the popularity of this mournful music. It’s definitely a must-do if you visit Lisbon, and the best place to see it is Alfama. This neighbourhood is all small, narrow streets and cobblestoned, winding alleys. Ramshackle houses, cracked and peeling, tumbling onto each other, but somehow still standing. It’s historic, it’s sorrowful and it’s beautiful. Just like fado itself.

We’d been told by a local that we “had to go” to Clube de Fado but sadly we arrived too late on a Saturday night (and without a reservation – rookie mistake). We walked around looking for another reputable fado joint, but they were all full. Determined, we followed the strains of soulful crooning emanating from an outdoor tasca and made a beeline for it, scoring a table for dinner. Unlike Clube de Fado, where only professional singers perform, tascas are more an open-mic affair, and during the course of dinner we heard two great performances and one average one. Next time we’re in Lisbon we’ll make a point of booking a table at Clube de Fado.

Despite missing out on a professional fado performance, we were all smiles. Lisbon can do that to you. Also… wine.

Even average seafood in Lisbon is good seafood. But it wasn’t good enough to rave about. This “Drunk In…..” gig isn’t all unicorns and rainbows, friends. Sometimes it’s a little hit and miss, but we put in the hard yards – just for you. You’re welcome.

Good coffee is an absolute necessity for “Drunk In…..” shenanigans. It’s always such a pleasure when we find the perfect coffee place on our travels. And in Lisbon, that place was Fabrica. Consistently great coffee with always friendly, smiling service. Exactly what you need when you’re recovering from a night of revelry.

There was one reservation that we’d made in Lisbon that I absolutely didn’t want to miss, and being such eager beavers we turned up half an hour before they even opened. What to do??? Tsk tsk, if you don’t know by now, you’ll never know. Obviously we went in search of refreshments, and found them across the street at Tiles Bar in the form of our favourite Portuguese drink, white sangria. Unfortunately it took them 25 minutes to serve, but they did make it from scratch, and it was yummy, so we couldn’t get too mad.

The sangria you have when you’re thirty minutes early for your lunch reservation.

After knocking back our sangria, we walked across the road to Cervejaria Ramiro, which by now had a throng of people waiting outside. We were unsure if we should wait in line or push our way to the front, so we pushed our way to the front and hailed down a waiter to tell him we had a reservation. Thanks to google we already knew which dishes we just had to have. Clams Bulhão Pato, tiger prawns, lobster and red river shrimp. We also knew to leave room for their specialty dessert of prego, otherwise known as a steak sandwich. Yup, I said steak sandwich for dessert. Do you see now, why we had to eat here.

During the course of the meal, we became progressively drunker and fell progressively more in love with our wonderful waiter who was everything a waiter should be. Should I ever find myself in the predicament of having to order a “final meal”, I’d ask for a long, boozy lunch at Cervejaria Ramiro with João serving me seafood until it runs out.

This is what they bring to the table right after you sit down. DO NOT EAT THE BREAD!!! It’s a trap!!!! Save it for soaking up all the crustacean juices later on. Trust me.

Why not beer AND wine?

Clams, glorious clams. This particular style is called Bulhão Pato, after the 19th century Portuguese poet António de Bulhão Pato who was particularly fond of his shellfish cooked in garlic, white wine and coriander. I also, am particularly fond of my shellfish cooked that way. These are exceptionally tasty and my mouth is watering just thinking about them!!!!

Drooooooooool.

We asked for more lemon. We got a large, hot serving dish of magnificent bubbling oil, chilli, lemon and garlic. HOW DID THEY KNOW?????!!!!

A steak sandwich? For dessert?? Oh hell, yes!!!!

When you both fall in love with your waiter, it’s only polite to ask what his name is. His name was João.

After such a phenomenal meal, it only makes sense to wrap things up with a wee digestif. And what better digestif than local delicacy ginjinha, a very tasty liqueur made from Morello cherries, brandy, sugar and cinnamon. And what better place to get it than the iconic A Ginjinha, which has been serving this liquid deliciousness from a hole in the wall since 1840. I am in no way ashamed to say we came here for some fortifying ginja several times a day during our visit. Let me tell you, there’s nothing like joining all the old dudes in flat caps supping cherry liqueur in the middle of the street at 9 o’clock in the morning to make you feel like a local. There’s usually a bit of a line but they serve very quickly and the only thing you need to tell them is whether you want it with or without the soused cherries. Hint: get the cherries.

Look for this sign. Also, be prepared to wait as there is usually a line. Luckily for you they pour pretty, pretty, pretty damn quickly – as you can see from the video below.

Cheers! Oh, and you MUST get it with the cherries. They pack an extra little punch, if you know what I mean.

We walked 1km carrying two little cups of ginjinha to the pastry shop just so we could see how good they tasted together. Surprise, surprise! If ever there was a more perfect combination than Pastéis de Nata and Ginjinha, I am yet to discover it.

Did you know that food in a tin is a thing now? I’m talking about tinned seafood in particular. Oh, it’s a thing. Look it up. No longer the domain of camping cuisine, seafood in a can has been elevated to gourmet status. Naturally, the hipster restaurants followed. And so we went to the nautically themed Sol e Pesca to check out for ourselves exactly how this new wave of preserved seafood might differ from what John West has been offering for years. The answer is: completely different league. The menu is brought to you attached to a fishing rod (I mentioned the hipsters, right?) and is broken up into different sections: octopus, sardines, tuna, cavala (mackerel – yum!!!), herring etc. And then within those sections you have all the different available flavours. Pick the ones you want (with a bit of help from the gorgeous staff, as there is no English menu) and order a jug of white sangria to pass the time while the waiter opens up your cans and presents everything nicely on a plate. Salut!

Across the Tagus River in Cacilhas, a little known area of Lisbon, lie a number of abandoned buildings, home to numerous cats and probably a fair share of squatters. Also in Cacilhas is the wonderfully simple, but excellent restaurant Ponto Final. This place serves good, honest, home-style cooking. The menu consists of mostly seafood, as you’d expect, and that’s what we came for. We were not disappointed. Make a reservation, or come early like we did and grab a table with a view of the water and of the city of Lisbon shimmering on the other side. I can’t think of a better way to spend a sunny afternoon.

The view of Lisbon from Cacilhas.

When you’re offered an aperitif in Portugal, you’d better get Madeira.

A feast for the eyes, the stomach and the soul. For real. The simplicity of this food is actually nurturing, comforting. The wine is pretty nurturing too.