Question

does the guilt get better after considering adoption for your baby when your caring for 3already

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I am 32 with 3kids 15,13,8 been in a relationship for 16months just found out i'm 7weeks pregnant and after a previous abortion over 4yrs ago I still find myself dwellin over it feeling unforgiving and have been treated for depression for it so I don't want to choose that option an he wants to keep the baby an i'm unsure about it even having that talk with my children about the possible adoption they don't want me to do it but financially I cant afford it an I still have to live in reality that at anytime he can walk out on me an then I'm doing it alone like my children dad did an he doesn't help me at all

My aunt had six children with an abusive man, and when she finally got away from him so he couldn't hunt her down again, she had to take care of them all by herself. To begin with she had absolutely nothing but the clothes on her back and the car she left in. She worked, went to school at the same time and did everything all on her own. Now her kids are grown and out of the house, and she makes a lot of money! If the baby is there, you will find a way to take care of it. Statistically people with more children make more money not because they made more money to begin with, but because they had to once they had kids. It's not easy but where there's a will there's a way.

And I know it's not really my business, but consider the effect it may have on your other children, too. They are going to have a very difficult time understanding why mommy doesn't wanthis baby to be a part of their family...think of the example that you are setting. It's up to you to decide if it's a good one or not, but personally, I couldn't do it. I would ALWAYS and FOREVER think about my baby and wonder what happened. That would just kill me. As hard as it may be, I would keep the baby and not adopt out. You have made it work with 3 others...and really one more isn't that much when you are going from 3 to 4.

First, as far as the dad of your other children - file paper work with the state and his wages will be garished. you will get help if he is working above board. I'm glad that you have chosen not to do an abortion...the only person I know that has done one did it almost 10 years ago and she still struggles with the guilt. I agree that if you really don't want this baby, adoption is BY FAR a better solution...the only solution. I would suggest seeing how you feel and where your relationship takes you over the next several months before signing any sort of agreement with an agency. Also, the father legally has a say. If he wants to keep the baby himself, at least give him that option. You cannot legally adopt out that baby without his consent anyway.

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