Reports breaking from the North Pole early this morning suggest that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer may be unable to guide Santa’s sleigh on its annual Christmas Eve delivery run. An unnamed source in Santa’s workshop claims that Rudolph got ahold of some bad eggnog and hasn’t left the bathroom since the 8th day of Christmas. Stay tuned for more on this top story.

Updated: 9:35 am, North Pole Festive Time

As panic spread throughout the under-twelve crowd, Santa Claus called a press conference to announce that he’d summoned the world-renowned physician Tony Tony Chopper of the Straw Hat pirates. “I’ve got no other choice,” stated Santa. “Chopper is the only chance we’ve got at saving Christmas. If that little tanuki doesn’t come through for us, they’ll be more heartbroken children in the morning than I care to imagine.” When reached for comment, Chopper had this to say: “I’m a reindeer – not a tanuki! But I’ll still help Santa because a good doctor never turns his back on a patient.”

Updated: 3:45 pm, North Pole Festive Time

News out of the North is bleak indeed, friends, as Tony Tony Chopper wraps up his examination of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. “Rudolph is very sick,” said Chopper. “His stomach hurts terribly, and his nose is hardly glowing at all. I haven’t seen a patient this ill since Sanji nearly bled to death after meeting the mermaids of Fishman Island.” Outside the examination room, Mr. and Mrs. Claus have sequestered themselves in a giant gingerbread house, and the elves have locked themselves in the workshop, barricading the doors with jumbo sized candy canes. As Santa’s scheduled departure time draws near, this reporter finds himself wondering if Christmas will be cancelled.

Updated: 6 pm, North Pole Festive Time

A heroic little reindeer is the story of the hour here at the North Pole. With Rudolph too sick to fly, Tony Tony Chopper has bravely volunteered to guide Santa’s sleigh as they deliver toys to all the good little boys and girls. “I just can’t say enough about Chopper’s Christmas spirit,” said Santa. “He’s stepping up when I need him most. He’ll be a permanent fixture on my ‘nice’ list if he can guide me through the night.” Skeptics have pointed out that Chopper, while an accomplished physician, does not know how to fly. But the smallest Straw Hat of them all refuses to let mere physics stand in his way. “My friend Franky is SUPER!” said Chopper. “He can turn into a robot, and he’s great with gadgets. He’s using some dials we had left over from the Skypiea trip to turn me into the Chopper the Amazing Blue-Nosed Flying Reindeer! SO COOL!”

There you have it, folks. Chopper the Amazing Blue-Nosed Flying Reindeer is stepping up to the plate to save Christmas. Whether or not he makes it is anyone’s guess, but this reporter will be cheering him on. If you should hear something up on your roof tonight, sneak outside and try to snap a picture of Santa and his little buddy Chopper!