Burn, Rewrite, Reread (Or, How to Torture a Bookworm)

In which I am forced to make unbearable decisions that should never be made.

Hello there!

I’ve got so much to do and so little time. I’ve got tons of tags, some books I can review, and plenty of rants stored away for rainy days. Just kidding. I never rant on rainy days; I’m in too good of a mood.

I was tagged for this by Johnathan Fisher, who has an absolutely terrific blog. I don’t like to call people imbecilic, but you are imbecilic if you don’t read his blog.

I’m kidding; I love calling people imbecilic. It really rolls off the tongue. Let’s say it out loud together, on three. Ready? One, two, three:

Imbecilic.

Lovely.

Gah, I’ve not been sleeping well, I apologise. Back to the tag! This is a really easy looking one. You just choose three books (you can use the sort random thingy on your goodreads shelf), and for each group of three you are to choose which to burn, which to rewrite, and which to reread.

So easy, yet I’ve a feeling it will be so painful. Let’s start.

Round I

Burn: H2O ALL THE WAY!!!! Ruby is the worst protagonist ever and I would delight in watching her burn.

Rewrite: Pride and Prejudice. Unpopular opinion: I didn’t actually like Pride and Prejudice that much. I love Jane Austen, but I prefer the movie on this one.

I’m sorry. I’ll see myself out.

Wait a second, no I will not! It’s my blog and I shall have whatever opinion I wish to have. YOU can see YOURSELF out if you have a problem.

Reread: The Martian Chronicles so much!!! I haven’t even read all of the stories yet, but it’s phenomenal and Bradbury is phenomenal.

That round wasn’t so hard. Let’s move on to the next!

Round II

*tears hair out in distress*

Burn: The Giver. I know, I’m sorry. I did love this book, but I was less impressed than I thought I would be, and there were a few things I had quibbles with.

Rewrite:Jane Eyre. Gah, this is a hard one, but I guess it would be fun to rewrite it. I would take out a little of the 19th century melodrama and maybe tidy up the mad woman in the attic thing.

Reread: Gone With the Wind. I’ve read this so many times, man, but I love it. I’m a Civil War nerd, that’s part of it. By the way, I’ve never had occasion to tell you guys how much I love the Ken Burns documentary about the Civil War, so I’ll tell you now. I love it.

*is apprehensive now about this tag but must move on to the next round*

Round III

Gah this…this is WRONG! I cannot!

Burn: I’m sorry, Shakespeare. Julius Caesar was more my cup of tea. I’m simply not into the star-crossed lovers. That being said, and this decision being made, I do understand and appreciate how much this play has contributed to literature, to popular culture, and to our collective human experience and ideology. Thank you, Shakespeare, for that, but even so, I must reluctantly place it (very gently and respectfully) into the fire.

Rewrite: Little Women. Why are you making me do this???? As beloved as this book is to me, like an old quilt, I have to admit it could use some rewriting. It could be a little bit tighter and less preachy.

But I wouldn’t want it that way. It’s like if you had a blind grandmother who sewed you a quilt that was mismatched and a little crooked. Of course it could be better, but if you took it apart and redid it, it wouldn’t be the same at all.

Reread: A Tale of Two Cities. By far my favourite of Dickens’s novels, and I’m due for a reread.

Round IV

NO I CANNOT HANDLE THIS KIND OF STRESS IN MY LIFE WHAT EVEN HOW

Burn: The Scarlet Letter. Except now I’m going to have to wear a letter of my own for the terrible sin of burning this important contribution to literature. B, for book-burner.

I’m so sorry.

Rewrite: DON’T MAKE ME DO THIS!!!! *collapses into a ball of tears*

Actually, it’s not even that dire. I would like to rewrite I Am the Messenger in such a way that certain persons don’t end up together, because one of those persons is a jerk, and the other person deserves so much better, whether said person feels like they do or not. I know what is best for this person, and this person definitely shouldn’t be with that person.

So there you go.

Reread: Lord of the Flies. If I ever end up owning a copy. I have no idea why it’s been so long and I still don’t, but life is life.

Round V

THIS IS NOT A FUN TAG

Burn: Girl in the Blue Coat. I LOVE THIS BOOK WHY DO I HAVE TO BURN IT????

Rewrite: I DON’T KNOW!!!! BOTH REMAINING BOOKS ARE PERFECT THEY DO NOT NEED REWRITING!!! Maybe Of Mice and Men. Change that ending.

Reread: I just reread this one (after having almost forgotten about it despite its being one of my favourite books ever of all time) and I would still reread it again. And again. And again. I just love it too much.

*is a complete wreck at this point in the game* Here goes the final round. For this one, I’m only doing books from my favourites shelf. It’s going to be painful, but pain is sometimes necessary.

Round VI

You guys? I don’t think I can do this. I…

WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME I CANNOT DO THIS

Burn: I cannot…I cannot make this decision. I physically cannot burn any of these books. But I guess…I guess…I guess…

ERROR NOPE SORRY I LACK THE ABILITY TO DO THIS

This isn’t fair. This is so not fair. Nope. Sorry. Never.

So if this pain looked fun to you, please feel free to do it! I’d love to see everyone else’s tortured decisions answers. Thanks, Johnathan Fisher, for putting me through this (there was a little bit of sarcasm there, not gonna lie, haha, but seriously, thank you for tagging me!)

25 thoughts on “Burn, Rewrite, Reread (Or, How to Torture a Bookworm)”

I think what made this post so much fun to read was your gradually growing misery doing the tag LOL (that makes me a horrible person, doesn’t it…>_>) This tag definitely looks like torture to do so I’m just going to sit back and see who else is willing to volunteer for this xD

P.S. HOW COULD YOU BURN THE SCARLET LETTER. *clutches heart in distress*

LOL!!!! Oh my gosh, I don’t think it’s worth it to engage in this tag, unless I get together a list of books that I kind of didn’t like, or really hated! There are some books that I 90% liked, though, apart from, say, an ending, or one character’s decision, so I can definitely understand that!

Hahaha, it was a special kind of torture. Yeah, it would be better if it isn’t books you loved. My problem is I haven’t been on Goodreads very long, and when I first got on, the only books I bothered to hunt down and add to my read shelf were books I liked. So there are very few books I’m not crazy about on there, and that makes it difficult.

I know I’m so sorry! I love Jane Austen, and I love Pride and Prejudice, but…yeah. Hehe, that is pretty much the worst decision I could be faced with, so of course! If you are ever looking for a post idea you should try this one. I’m unofficially tagging you because I would love to see your choices. 🙂

I have to admit I had to cover my mouth from laughing at the last one. What are the odds?

I will have you know that I bought the Rose translation paperback edition of Les Miserables and it is BEAUTIFUL. I do have a quick question for you since this is your area of expertise: I am planning on reading Les Mis at the end of the year (It seems like a good time. Winter break, blankets, and a nice big book). However, I am curious about the story. All I know is that it is about the French Revelation, a guy who stole some bread, and people who are singing a song of angry men. My question to you is this: Would it be more enjoyable to read Les Mis before listening to the musical or after? Would I get more into the story, or would I feel indifferent about the book then? Random question, I know, but I thought I would ask since you know this stuff!

I enjoyed reading the tag! Sorry about the pain it caused you (ish 😉 )

Winter break, blankets, and a nice big book is pretty much the best combination known to human kind, so I completely agree with your timing decision. I would suggest the addition of a nice hot cup of tea. And I definitely recommend the Rose translation! It just reads so smoothly and feels so modern—you don’t have that feeling like you’re wading through a difficult classic. You just feel like you’re reading an awesome story, which you are.

Well, yes; you basically nailed the story, haha! Except it’s not about the French Revolution—that’s a very common misconception. Actually, the entirety of the book takes place many years the French Revolution. A significant portion of the book (and even more significant portion of the musical) involves the June Rebellion of 1832, which was a small (and unsuccessful) insurrection that everyone would have forgotten about had it not been for Hugo’s novel. That’s the song of angry men part. 🙂

Okay, anyway, your question: I read the book first, and personally, I love the book more because it just has so much to it and you could read it a thousand times focusing on different characters and themes and events and motifs and stuff each time and STILL reread it a thousand times more.

That being said, I’ve found it super helpful, when approaching enormous classics, to watch an adaptation before delving into the book. In those big classics, there are so many characters and events that it can feel like you’re muddling through, unsure who and what you need to remember and which bits can be forgotten. Our modern attention spans just aren’t always up to that task. So an adaptation can serve as a sort of map. “I remember this character from the movie—they’re important.” and “Oh, I remember this! This is a major event.” etc. And admittedly, there are a lot of portions of Les Mis that can be safely skimmed. Watching the musical will let you know which ones you need to read more closely.

Besides that, I always thought it would be cool to watch the musical and THEN read the book. Because the book would provide you with a TON more information about all of your favourite characters, and just really make it all that much deep and meaningful. All the really important characters (Jean Valjean, Javert, Cosette, Fantine, Marius, Les Amis de l’ABC, Gavroche, Eponine, the Thenardiers…) are in the musical, but then there’s loads more about them in the book.

I apologise for my lengthy response, but then, I’m sure you didn’t expect I could talk concisely about Les Mis! 😀