The other day I brought Winston to work with me. Why? Because I like to make my life more difficult than it needs to be. Also because he is cute and funny to look at. Here is how the drive in went.

Me: Winston, you are coming to work with me! Get in the car!

Winston: OH BOY! CAR RIDE! COOL!

Me: Okay, let's roll!

Winston: OH GOD I HATE THIS! *whine whine whine*

Me: You were SO excited thirty seconds ago.

Winston: BUT ITS MOVING SO SLOW! GO FASTER! I ONLY LIKE MOVING FAST!

Me: Okay bud, there are speed limits I have to follow.

Winston: NO! DRIVE FAST! I'M FRIGHTENED!

Me: That makes no sense...

Winston: WHEN HAVE I EVER MADE SENSE!?

Me: Fair point. Shall I put on your favorite songs?

Winston: YES! HURRY!

Me: *puts on Winston's favorite CD: Backstreets Boys*

Winston: THAT'S GREAT! THANK YOU!

Me: Alright now stop whining.

Winston: MAYBE... WE'LL SEE. I WILL PROBABLY STOP FOR A BIT AND START AGAIN AS SOON AS YOU STOP THE CAR BUT I'LL BE FINE! MAYBE. PROBABLY. WE'LL SEE! CAN I SIT ON YOUR LAP? I KNOW YOU SAID I DON'T FIT BUT MAYBE IF I JUST, SQUEEZE IN THERE....

Pick the Best Part of the Dog?

Vote for the best dog part: *

The wiggly tailThe soft earsThe pink bellyThe button noseThe sweet eyesThe wiggle buttTheir goofy personalitiesTheir smiley facesThe fact that maybe once a day they dog something cute that forgives the fact that they sometimes annoy the crap out of you.

I would like to know what it would be like to be a dog. I am 100% certain I have said this before, but they have the most majestic lives. I mean, I guess it might be stressful for them when they don't understand that you will be back but just imagine it for a second...

Morning

Wake up

Stretch

Lick Human's face until they provide me with food and open the door so I can pee.

Sleep some more.

Daytime

Human leaves through magical portal - does not return for a while.

Sleep

Wake up, eat bones or toy

Sneak snacks off the coffee table if human left some there

Sleep more

EVENING

Human returns through magic portal

Bark at them to let the Human know you would like more food and to be let outside

Pee on stuff

Continuously change mind on if outside or inside is better. Test it thoroughly.

Sleep

NIGHTTIME

Laugh internally when Human tries to move you over to the side or bottom

Wait until they are asleep and then ever so carefully push them until you take up 80% of the bed.

Sleep

Now you find a reason to tell me that this isn't amazing and I will ignore you because it sounds like the greatest.

Winston: YOU DON'T EVEN SEE IT DO YOU!? I HAVE A DASHING BANDANA ON! LOOK AT ME!

Me: Ohhhh, okay. Yes, it looks quite nice. Do you like it? Do you want me to take it off of you? *reaches to pull it off*

Winston: *Jumps Back* HOW DARE YOU! I AM A STYLE ICON!

Me: Oh, of course.

Winston: GO GET ME SIX MORE OF THESE I NEED ONE FOR EVERYDAY OF THE WEEK! I AM GOING TO START AN INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT! HOW DO I GET FOLLOWERS!? WHAT IS A FOLLOWER! WHAT IS INSTAGRAM! HELP ME I WANT TO LOOK FABULOUS!

Tanya arrives home, greeted by dogs and briefly speaks with her significant other Dave who proceeds to head out to his shop to work on some things. Tanya sits to get to work on some assignments and the dogs take a fit.

Winston: Excuse me, *knocks at dor* Dave went outside and I would like to join him.

Tanya: No, you can't go in the shop it's dangerous out there and not fenced in so you will run away.

Noodle: I won't run away, I just need to check on him and make sure he is okay! You can't hide him from me he is mine! *whines at door persistently*

Tanya: I promise he is fine, and you are lying you just want to go bug the skunk that is in the forest.

Noodle: HORRENDOUS ACCUSATIONS! I WILL HAVE MY ATTOURNEY FILE A LAWSUIT AGAINST SUCH CLAIMS!

Tanya: *raises eyebrow*

Noodle: ... Okay. But please I love Dave so much more than you.

Tanya: That isn't helping your cause.

Winston: I LOVE EVERYONE PLEASE LET ME OUT!

Tanya: No! You can bug Dave when he is done.

Both Dogs: *BARKING WILDLY* I HEARD A NOISE IT MUST ME HE HAS RETURNED TO SAVE US FROM THIS EVIL WENCH!

Tanya: Yes, I will remember these comments when it comes time to buy the good treats or no treats at all...

Like any adult does, when I am getting ready for work I tend to take dance breaks with my dog. Winston loves to dance. However, Noodle, not so enthusiastic. Here is what happened this morning:

Me: I am running so late for work today, you know what would make everything better? If I took time away from my routine to dance in the general direction of my dogs who are staring at me as I smash various coloured items into my skin.