After over five years of being heavily medicated for my bipolar illness, I am just crazy enough to go off the meds and try to conceive. With a whole team of professionals monitoring my progress and an amazingly compassionate husband to catch me when I fall, I am ready to start trying to get pregnant. This is my journey through the insane process...

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Everything has been really, really bad. I keep my mind from sanity by exercising my skills at unrestricted globalizing. When Husband dares to bring up something that I cannot possibly say is bad, I summarily discount whatever it is and then I resort to telling him that he just doesn't "get it". I think we all know who doesn't "get it". ME.

I have managed to take something that has nothing to do with me and turn it around on myself.

As I posted some time ago, I became an Aunt. Out of my pathetic bitterness, I have chosen to wholly ignore this birth until now. For the last three weeks I have tried to put it out of my mind. When I finally spoke to my mom on the phone, I got the story on the baby and the family. It's ugly, very ugly. And, because litigation may be pending, I cannot tell the story. Suffice it to say that my sister's baby was taken from her and put in foster care for 5 days. Just long enough to send the mother into PPD and cause her milk to dry up. And then all charges were dropped because it was discovered that the complaint was a lie spewed by the MIL in retaliation.

And, all I can think is, I should be near my family. Instead, I am here, helpless.