Saturday, May 3, 2014

IT'S ALL MESSY: THE HAIR. THE BED. THE WORDS. THE HEART.

hey there, I havent been to active here because of, well many reasons.. my heart hurts every moment of everyday but sometimes I can push it deeper inside so I wont feel it but then when Im alone its out there all over and around me. ruins me.

On top of that my car got vandalized the other day when I came down and saw it, It felt like it was me that was there, drowned in paint and egged in my face by evil itself. I dont want to go into details but this fucked up my situations in many ways. I had it under control but now I cant help but feeling scared and lost.

My mood changed today when I picked up my little car from the carwash, they had been working
on it for 2 days and they got almost all of the paint away yay!

but
then the demons comes out again to take me into their dark place, the
hole inside me, filled with confusion, heartpain, anxiety and it scares
me more than anything... I do not want to manifest anything negative.
Time to change surroundings, time to live, time to NOT GIVE A DAMN. and Ill do whatever it takes
trust me.