Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review: June 2014

Welcome back to the Billboard Hot 100 Top 40 Review where I express my honest opinions on the most popular singles in the US. Summer is almost here and that means tons of fun (or not) and a whole slew of newer songs. So let’s get started.

#40. Demons-Imagine Dragons: 00000/00000

#39. Come With Me Now-KONGOS: This song is a really strange addition to the charts. This is an alt-rock song with African influences (makes sense since KONGOS are from Johannesburg) and it was released in 2011. Yeah, this song is three years old and it didn’t gain any traction until more recently. So how is this song? I like it. It sounds different from other songs on the charts, it has a driving beat, it has a lot of energy, and it’s a lot of fun. Songs like this are very rare in a music landscape of the bland and boring. We need more songs like this. This gets a 5 outta 5.

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#38. Bottoms Up-Brantley Gilbert: 0000/00000

#37. Chandelier-Sia: I know nothing about Sia. Maybe it’s because she’s mostly known for doing choruses and features for other artists. As a vocalist, she’s not bad, but she’s also very bland in my opinion. I just wasn’t invested in her at all. So now we have her first charting single in the US as a lead artist and how is it? It’s okay. Not the greatest song ever, but it’s pretty good. It’s a well-written song and it’s Sia’s best singing in a while, but I’m still on the fence about the production. Part of it is good while the other isn’t. Plus, there was parts of the song where Auto-Tune was used where it isn’t necessary. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just nit-picking. Overall, it’s a good song and it’s one of the better ones on the charts. I give it a fair 4 outta 5.

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#36. Team-Lorde: 00000/00000

#35. Automatic-Miranda Lambert: Here, we have a song about nostalgia and how quickly time moves and it’s pretty good. It’s one of the better modern country songs out there. It’s well written and well produced and it has a message aside from pickup trucks and beer. It’s always good to see country music that has effort put into it and not be a clunking mess filled with cliches. This gets a 5 outta 5.

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#34. Wake Me Up-Avicii: 00000/00000

#33. Timber-Pitbull ft Ke$ha: 0/00000

#32. Love Runs Out-OneRepublic: There’s not much to say about Love Runs Out, not because it’s bad; on the contrary, this is a cool song, but it’s not as great as Counting Stars. It has a nice beat, a decent hook, and it’s overall fun. This isn’t something I’ll go back to listening to, but I wouldn’t mind it if it was being played. I give it a 4 outta 5.

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#31. Na Na-Trey Songz: 0/00000

#30. She Looks So Perfect-5 Seconds Of Summer: Oh, great. Another boy band from the works. Well, I’m bound to piss off some fangirls, but these guys suck. They make One Direction look like the Jackson 5 (it hurts me to type those words). Apparently, these guys are one of those boy bands that actually play instruments and they’ve cited bands like Blink-182 and Green Day as influences. As much as those two bands are accused of being sellouts, at least they can rock out, something that can’t be said about these schmucks, who are basically nothing more than a bootleg Jonas Brothers. Newsflash: just because you play an instrument doesn’t automatically make you a better artist. I’ve spent so much time rambling that I didn’t even talk about the song itself. That’s because I’d rather talk about something more interesting than this boring piece of overproduced crap. This will appeal to teenage girls everywhere, though. Bottom line, I don’t care. This will be another boy band who no one will remember by the beginning of next year. This will be the first time I’d do this in a Top 40 Review and I don’t know if I’ll ever do it again, but this song gets no rating.

#27. Beachin’-Jake Owen: Yeah, I’m not feeling this one. This is your typical modern country song and it doesn’t add anything new that we haven’t heard. Not saying it’s bad, but it’s not my cup of tea. Though it does have that summer vibe and the verses are all in spoken word instead of sung. It’s not the worst song out there, but it’s nothing special. I’ll give it a 3 outta 5.

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#26. Believe Me-Lil Wayne ft Drake: Well, looks like everyone’s favorite rapping gremlin is back. Yeah, I’m not too excited, either. People have been praising this track and I don’t get it. It’s not the worst thing Wayne has ever made (considering the shit he releases), but it’s still a bad record. The beat is boring as all hell and the rapping is also boring. Drake comes in with more bragging and sending out hilarious threats while Wayne comes in with dumb punchlines. Hell, this sounds more like a Drake song than a Lil Wayne song. There’s nothing in this song for me to care about. It’s five and a half minutes long, yet listening to it feels like an eternity. If this is a preview to Tha Carter V, then I’m not interested (not that I was interested to begin with). Before I move on, I want to talk about Wayne retiring after this album. I currently have mixed feelings about this. Part of me is like, “Good fucking riddance. The game doesn’t need you.” On the other hand, it could be a publicity stunt. Remember when Jay Z said he was gonna retire? How long did that last? I’m just trying to keep an open mind to the possibilities. Enough of this. I’m giving this a 2 outta 5.

#17. Latch-Disclosure ft Sam Smith: Here’s another song on the charts that’s been around for a while, 2012 to be specific. This isn’t my favorite song, but it’s a decent track. The beat is dope and Sam Smith is great as usual. This guy is really gonna be huge. I really have no problems with this song, but it won’t be anything I’ll be listening to over and over again. I give it a 4 outta 5.

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#16. Sing-Ed Sheeran: 0000/00000

#15. This Is How We Roll-Florida Georgia Line ft Luke Bryan: 0/00000

#14. Talk Dirty-Jason Derulo ft 2 Chainz: 0/00000

#13. Ain’t It Fun-Paramore: 00000/00000

#12. Not A Bad Thing-Justin Timberlake: 00000/00000

#11. Dark Horse-Katy Perry ft Juicy J: 0/00000

#10. Stay With Me-Sam Smith: Looks like Sam Smith is gonna blow up big in the States this year looking at the chart success of the songs he’s involved with. He’s a real talent that’s rare in today’s pop music and this song proves it. This is a soulful track with a gospel influence (as evident by the production and the gospel choir). It’s a song with real emotion and no bullshit. It’s actually surprising that this song is in the Top 10 right now because it doesn’t sound like the type of song that would chart this high. Doesn’t matter. This is still a great song. I give it a perfect 5 outta 5.

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#9. Summer-Calvin Harris: 00000/00000

#8. Am I Wrong-Nico & Vinz: 00000/00000

#7. Rude-MAGIC!: Strange that there’s two reggae songs in the Top 10 right now. The charts are getting all Carribean now. Seeing that summer is almost here, it sort of makes sense. Here, we have a song from four Canadian white guys. I dig it. It’s something that’s perfect for the summer. It’s catchy, it has a good beat, it’s just fun. I actually hope for this to be number one soon. I give this a 5 outta 5.

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#6. Happy-Pharrell Williams: 00000/00000

#5. Wiggle-Jason Derulo ft Snoop Dogg:

Did we REALLY need another song from Jason Derulo? Was there ANY other song that we couldn’t have place at #5? What about Tennis Court from Lorde? That’s a great song and it’s currently sitting at #92. I don’t get you people sometimes. So is this song as bad as I make it out to be? Yes. You wanna know something else? This song is even worse than Talk Dirty. As terrible as Talk Dirty is, it had one redeeming factor, which was the beat. Wiggle has NO redeeming factors at all. The beat is horrible. It’s one of those crappy minimal beats alongside an annoying recorder that plays throughout the second half of the hook. Plus, this is another song about asses with some of the most shallow lyrics ever. Oh, and Snoop Dogg is on this, too. Because he’s higher than gas prices and would work with anyone because he stopped caring a long time ago. I didn’t even address all of this song’s problems. For that, check out Todd In The Shadows’ review of this piece of shit. This gets a 1 outta 5.

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#4. Turn Down For What-DJ Snake & Lil Jon: 00000/00000

#3. All Of Me-John Legend: 00000/00000

#2. Problem-Ariana Grande ft Iggy Azalea: 000/00000

#1. Fancy-Iggy Azalea ft Charli XCX: 0/00000

So those were the Top 40 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 as of June 14, 2014. Stay tuned next month when I do another Top 40 Review.