Intelligent Design group proves that ‘God probably created HIV’

In a stunning press release, Intelligent Design group The Group for Order and Design In Science (GODIS) has proposed that the structure of the HIV virus could not have arisen by natural processes, and was therefore engineered.

“Our calculations are quite revealing,” stated Rex Numero, chief statistician at GODIS. “We were inspired by Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s accusation that perhaps HIV was created by the US Government, and we immediately set about calculating the likelihood that HIV could have arisen from natural causes. As it turns out, the HIV virus is irreducibly complex in many areas. Therefore, it MUST have been engineered.”

When Numero was challenged about whether or not the proposed engineer of HIV was the biblical God, Numero immediately denied such conclusions, saying

“We neither confirm nor deny the existence of a supreme being, but we do admit that such engineering is way ahead of our current scientific abilities. WAY ahead.”

Picking up on the GODIS press release, an organization supporting the beleaguered Rev. Wright, Wright’s Holy Infantry Threatening Euro Supremacy (WHITES) immediately countered that such genetic engineering most certainly IS within the realm of our current capabilities. Chief spokesperson for WHITES Ray Spater enjoined forcefully:

If we can genetically engineer glowing fish, how hard is it to engineer a little virus that kills people? This news proves that it is possible, even probable that the rich white people running our government created and distributed HIV into the drug and sex businesses in order to kill blacks AND gays, our brothers in this fight for equal rights.

Spater has had to answer, however, the challenge that the spread of HIV in the black and gay communities was due to their own promiscuity and drug use, which is not the government’s fault.

“Are you kidding me?” spat Spater. “Look, as brother Farrakan has said, the rich white Jews in Hollywood, many of which support our causes, are still to blame for filling our airwaves with sex in movies and on TV. They are the ones influencing our youth. Blaming the rappers and the HIV victims themselves is really low – I mean, what makes you say that they bear ANY responsibility for sleeping around or using drugs, when TV makes it so attractive? No, no, no, we can not blame the victims here in any way.”

Not to be left out of the fray, Atheists Reviling God in History and Science (ARGHS) ridiculed the findings of GODIS. Chief spokesman for ARGHS, Darkes Light, who spoke to the press this morning at ARGHS headquarters in Corpus Christi, TX, reviled:

The conclusions of GODIS are total bunk – I mean, you can prove anything you want with statistics, it all depends on your assumptions. For example, if you stumbled upon a watch in the sand at the beach, you might be tempted to think that such an unusually complex object required an intelligent maker. But of course, such a conclusion would be, statistically speaking, not your best choice. Seeing design everywhere by setting the bar for ‘irreducibility’ so low can lead you to such obviously illogical conclusions as thinking that a watch was most likely created by an intelligence.”

Responding to these allegations, GODIS’ Numero answered:

“So let me get this straight. These guys believe in alien life because it is statistically possible, and even after pouring millions of dollars into SETI, have absolutely NO evidence of such, yet they WON’T believe that an intelligence is out there that could do genetic engineering? Is that because such an engineer is too close to being godlike, or because it would provide an alternative theory of origins to evolution?”

In a counter-statement, Light beamed:

“Look, basically, there is NO way to determine if life, or any virus, has been engineered, because quite honestly, we can come up with a theory of how it evolved using natural processes, even if such processes might take longer than the age of the known universe. The bottom line? You can’t really tell if anything is designed, and therefore, no form of lifeis engineered, nor could it be determined to BE engineered.

And since we have proven evolution beyond a doubt, in doing so, we have pretty much deemed the idea of an intelligent creator, god or not, as irrelevant. And anyone worth their intellectual salt should agree – at least, anyone wanting to publish in a peer-reviewed primary journal or gain their University tenure.”

Okay, how about this? Check out the right side of this screen where seeker lists "humanity's enemies." Along with Islamic terrorists and abortions, he lists gay marriage (ie, the California anti-gay marriage amendment). So, to this xian, gay people's aspirations to form and protect our families makes us the enemies of humanity (on par with islamoterrorists)?! This is outrageous, of course, and designed to elicit hatred from those of us who are the targets of the christianists. Religon in general, and xianity in particular, seems to bring out the worst in otherwise harmless human beings. As far as I'm concerned, we should rank religion as one of humanity's worst enemies.

Some of my observations: "Religon in general, and xianity in particular, seems to bring out the worst in otherwise harmless human beings. As far as I'm concerned, we should rank religion as one of humanity's worst enemies." ——-> This is a Marxist view, and I am sure you know this. Opium of the masses type of thing. Since most Christians, or people in general, believe in God and this country is center right, so leftist thought is going to throw them on defense sometimes. Xian, a term that I know is not classically demeaning, but is now becoming more and more in usage by Atheists in a demeaning fashion. In your usage of it I fell under the impression that you were Atheist, not just anti-xian. "Along with Islamic terrorists and abortions, he lists gay marriage (ie, the California anti-gay marriage amendment)= enemy of humanity——-> I do not know if he believes exactly this, and I would like to see his address, but if one does observe the scriptures as guidance, as Christians do, we know what the Bible says about homosexuality. But if you are saying this equates to hate, and an anything goes approach to life would be a better approach, I would say that is foible. Now … seeker has views I agree with and views I do not agree with. We are both xian but we do have some different views(like a post in which i said that man is not good naturally, you said i did not sound Christian and you told seeker i sound like some sort of evolutionist). I do not think my view was unChristian at all, but is in fact Bible based AND bore out by history. OK, my point … I think that many Christians do not understand the loving and forgiving nature of our creator. In many Christians sects God is out for vengeance and get even. The God hates whatever crowd. Some sects have a much more gentler view of God. Some sects throw others into Hellfire, some believe that most can be forgiven for their missteps. A generalization of hate for xians is misguided I think.

It's not a Marxist view (maybe you should study your Marx), it's my and others' view, based on observation. Also, I use "xian" and "Christian" interchangeably, depending on how fast I want to type. Quit being so paranoid. And I'm not a "leftist." Christian history is shot through with condemnation and vicious persecution of gay people. I don't give a d*mn if it's in your holy book or not, your religion has fostered hatred of people like me since its beginnings (this is a historical fact), and continues to this day. No wonder I'm suspicious of it. If I hate it, it's because I'm returning the hatred, not starting it. If it wasn't so enraptured by patriarchal tradition, it would be more acceptable (although I'd still have problems with its theology). There are more humane, less orthodox, versions which have something to say; otherwise, it's a no-go.

I will pass on study of Marx. The last 70+ years have been lesson enough I think. I am not being paranoid, I was making a statement of what I have seen and heard. If you insist on hating, well, OK. Like I said before, its a hell of a chip.

Geeze you guys, enough! Can't we just comment on the content of this wonderfully witty post? I mean, don't you think the names of the fictitious organizations are cool? GODIS? WHITES? ARGHS? How about the name "Ray Spater" – get it? And Ben, I know I've done it, but evaluating Louis' motives ad nauseum just doesn't help. Louis' initial comment "I well remember back in the 1980's when Christians said just that: God created AIDS to punish gays. Thus began my hatred for xianity" was a great opportunity to open up an interesting conversation, not an evaluation of the value of his hate. For example, I think that the whole subject of how we view HIV and God's judgment is interesting. In fact, I think I'll post on it. Anyway, I'm trying to keep to the topic and away from ad hominems these days (you big jerks ;), so um, how bout that funny satirical post? Did I pick on everyone equally? Or did I come down too hard on the atheists?

seeker, actually I think that louis and I had a pretty decent discussion actually. At least I thought so. I was just trying to probe a bit and try and understand him a bit better. Not a f%$# off or a go to hell in the whole thing! All in all, I was entertained. Good topic too. Oh, and you never can come down on Aetheists hard enough .. :)(easy cin, just kidding).

Satire is not joking, it's fun but meaningful – I am poking at serious ideological errors by playing them out in the deadpan style of satire. I am not saying I am good at it, and I agree that HIV is very serious – as serious as those who say that the US government created it to kill people, and those who go to their church and don't speak up about it. I also think the consequences of atheism and Darwinist bullying are serious ideological problems that need to be ridiculed a bit. Atheism might seem benign, but the fact that it diminishes Christianity, which alone can preserve us, is important.