Plot Twist: Snow White Kills Old Woman With Her Talking

Snow White: *stops gazing reflectively at pillow case* Cool! Someone is knocking on the door of the remote cabin I’m hiding in. It is a safe, good choice to open that door and invite whatever it is into my life! *crosses to front door, opens it*

Old Woman: *holds basket with a single apple that is flagrantly shiny* Apple, my dear?

Snow White: Do I know you from the kingdom or something? Legally, I should be wearing glasses, but looking smart and getting a husband are mutually exclusive, so…

Old Woman: *lols politely* We’ve never met, dear. Definitely not. As I was saying—apple? *pushes basket real close to Snow White’s face*

Snow White: I’ve been warned not to speak to strangers. *becomes entranced by her own reflection in the mirror-like apple* But you just want to give me something.

Old Woman: I’ve been working on—I mean carrying—this totally normal apple for many hours. Take it and make an old woman’s day worthwhile.

SW: Well that all seems legit. *takes apple by its stem* Can I pay you for it?

OW: Of course not! Money is impossible for women to come by. What do you do during the day—work? *lols raucously*

SW: Fine. I don’t have money.

OW: It’s yours for the eating. Also, please invite me inside so I can watch you consume it right away.