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A broad-based coalition took action today in the United Nations to pass a strongly
worded resolution prohibiting the British actor Hugh Grant from appearing in any
more lame romantic comedies.

President Paul Biya of the Republic of Cameroon spearheaded the resolution,
believed to be the first against a film actor since the world body's inception.

Mr. Biya, speaking to the U.N. General Assembly, received thunderous ovations
when he unleashed harsh rhetoric aimed at Mr. Grant, a once-appealing actor
whose hammy stammering has been an irritating hallmark of recent Hollywood
vehicles in which he has starred.

"Hugh Grant must be stopped," Mr. Biya told the General Assembly. "We hope that
he will stop himself, but we are resolved to use force to stop him if necessary."

But stopping Hugh Grant -- even as Cameroon rallies the support of most of the
nations of the world to do so -- may present grim challenges, warns Professor
Ernest Bronson of the University of Minnesota.

"Hammy British actors have proven to be wily, tenacious foes in the past, almost
impossible to eliminate, even with massive firepower," says Dr. Bronson. "Look at
Kenneth Branagh. Look at Ian McKellen. Just when you think their careers are over,
they put on wigs and beards and start playing wizards or elves."

Dr. Bronson believes that, with the nations of the world lining up behind Cameroon
to oppose Hugh Grant, Mr. Grant can be taken down, but at a steep cost.

"Stopping Hugh Grant could prove to be a difficult, time-consuming task," Dr.
Bronson says. "People are kidding themselves if they think this will be like stopping
Kathie Lee Gifford."

JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author, most recently, of "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" and "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.