Filtering by Category: sexlust and love

While most of us have heard the term Polygamy, think Mormons, far fewer have heard of Polyamory.

Polygamy is defined as many marriages, while Polyamory… many loves.

What’s the difference between having a girlfriend and having a sexual escapade on the side, and Polyamory? One is usually considered cheating due to the lying that takes place, and the other is being open, honest, accepting and communicating.

Women have forever scrutinized their bodies based on what’s considered hot in Hollywood or the news. American models have gone from an average size 8 to an emaciated size 0. Who drives this, I’m not sure, but the majority of men do not want a skinny woman who resembles Olive Oyl. They may like her sweet nature and the way she loves Popeye, but they don’t find her body type all that attractive.

Considering Marilyn Monroe wore a size 8-10 and is considered to be one of the sexiest women of all time, I believe most men find a slightly more voluptuous woman extremely attractive.

Confidence aside, average or voluptuous appears to be men’s favorite body type but the media would have women believe otherwise.

Some men argue that women actually struggle to be skinny to impress other women, not men. In the same way men try to impress their male friends, some women try to be the skinniest or the hottest of their friends. Why are we spending so much time and energy trying to be so darn skinny when most men don’t even care for that look?

Last week I had the pleasure of attending a launch party for a new business at a venue in my neighborhood. My close friend sent me the invite saying, “You write about this kind of stuff so I thought you’d want to check it out.” I looked at the picture of the flyer in his text and immediately thought it was a great business idea; sex toys from a vending machine, The PinkBox Vending Machine.

There are few men who truly “get” women. It’s not necessarily their fault because women often don’t know why they do the things they do. Men wonder why women change their minds on a whim, how their moods can swing from being perfectly happy one minute, to irritated and somewhat sullen the next. Many wonder why women overanalyze everything, ruminate about the same thing for days and are amazed at how they can remember everything a man ever said.

I must admit that when I asked this question of men, I assumed they’d all return the same answer of, “I just want a hot chick that’s not crazy.” I was pleasantly surprised to see men put so much thought into the ideal qualities they were looking for in a woman.

Consider that as of 2008, there were 3.3 billion men on this planet. Is it really possible that all 3.3 billion men want the same things in a woman?

The Daily Mail.com.uk ran a study by Katy Winter in their October 20th, 2014 edition about the secrets to a happy marriage. They looked at over 2,000 couples married for at least 10 years and asked them to rank, in order of importance, their best advice for newlyweds.

“Women would do well to make an effort not to change. There’s an old saying that I believe Albert Einstein said and it goes something like this: Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” -A 49-year-old married professor from N. Dakota.

How eloquently his advice sums up one of the fundamental differences between men and women, especially when it comes to relationships.

I’ve learned plenty from one failed marriage followed by three not so serious relationships. But I wondered if men share the belief that every relationship has something to teach us? And do they ever reflect on why their relationship ended?

Many people believe they’ve experienced love at first sight and are certain of its existence, while others feel it’s simply rapture and lust disguised as love.

Anthropologist, Helen Fisher PhD discusses in her article, TheRealities of Love at First Sight appearing in O, Oprah Magazine November 2009, how real the experience of love at first sight can be for both men and women. She explains the science of meeting someone new and how we go about sizing them up immediately.

In the hopes of uncovering some of the seemingly difficult differences between men and women I asked the question, “Underneath it all, what do men actually think and feel about their relationships with women, and what matters most to them? What do women most want to understand about men?”