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goalz. I haz dem.

Greetings. I’m gonna kick this freeky blue funkus and do stuff. I have a humungaloid list of super righteous uber sexy-a$s epic important and groundbreaking work to do. Also I should clean some stuff around this place. So I have GRAND PLANS and general thoughts and goals and stuff. And I’m deeply, deeply behind because I’ve been going “FLURBBBBBBB,”

So here. A nice juicy list. In all its splendor and ka’glory.

I shall…….
1. Blog more, as I used to before I allowed distraction and insular-ity to cloud my judgement.
2. Go out more and move freely amongst the people, increasing my social aptitude number (like on one of those video games where you move tiny creaturelings around on an iDevice rather than talking to The Humans); and decreasing my hermitude.
3. Not be paranoid about when or why I write songs or for what. From now on I’m going to do what I want when I want with who I want because if it doesn’t make me feel good it won’t BE good. That’s the whole point, people turn to art because we’re supposed to be the people who know about feelings and experiences and thinking and analysis and how to connect the self to the process of creation. It’s a flow for me, not a discipline. I have to apply discipline to other aspects of the life. It’s okay to make characters, I know, I love to do it … but I think it’s good to be ourselves.
4. I’m going to stop hating on myself and go with the flow. I mostly just sit around Reacting to events that happen to me. That ended today I think. I get into these places where I worry and spiral out of control. Not dramatically, really, but I realized that I was 40 years old and that hey, you can’t make the sun be cheesecake when it thinks it’s a perfectly good bunny rabbit already.

Wow. That makes NO sense! 🙂

5. I’m not going to be afraid to put too much of myself or my experiences in my work. In case anyone has been wondering, that’s why I’ve been so quiet. I have the support of the people in my life so really, I’m only sheltering my own fears from imaginary fallout and it doesn’t matter. Anything that comes of whatever I could say isn’t my problem. I live on my own terms in my way, so who’s to say?

6. I’ve gotta calm down.

7. I’ve gotta drink more water and start exercising. This scaffolding isn’t gonna hold itself up forever, to be delicate about It All.

8. I’m going to start making routines for myself, and root out routine busting addictive behaviors. I will get right on this when I have finished this Girl Scout cookie.

9. I will forgive myself for understandable emotional outbursts. I’m not made of golden cheese. I am a lady. A lady who likes cheese. mmmmm cheese.

10. I will try to do nice things for myself and remember that I am beautiful. It gets easy to believe awful things about ourselves everyday. We can’t do that. It’s not healthy. We have to wish for and self-talk the good stuff, and try to assume the best, I guess.