Sunday, 15 December 2013

Well, we’ve had a couple of posts about Christmas, so I
suppose the least I can do is follow them up with a post about New Year’s Eve –
the climax of the Christmas period, and traditionally the time that everyone
goes out all at once and gets pissed up. Then, when it’s all over, I can just
get on with blogging about booze, and never mention these two events again. And
that will be lovely.

It drives me mad how everything stops at this time of year,
and just concedes defeat to the relentless tide that is all things festive.
Music stops, and is replaced by the same Christmas songs you hear every year.
Restaurants stop, and run Christmas menus where everything’s turkey, salmon,
cranberry sauces and stuffing. TV stops and all you get is shit festive
specials and repeats of The Vicar of Dibley.

It’s ridiculous really, because you have all that fuss, all
that build up… and then it’s just over and it’s January. It’s like waking up
from a long dream where everyone’s acting over-enthusiastic, and during which
someone has been force feeding you chocolate, party treats and alcohol. You
wipe the sleep from your eyes and go, “what the fuck was all that
about?"

So, New Year, the biggest anti-climax known to man. You’re
supposed to go out and have a great time, but I’ve been thinking, and I can’t
think of a single great New Year’s Eve. I probably need to stop before I get on
to moaning about how everywhere is too crowded, taxis are too expensive, you
have to buy a ticket in advance to get into a bar, and that means you have to
stay in that bar all night, and that’s shit because I hate staying in one
place… but! I don’t know what all the fuss is about. Everyone seems to think
that working on New Year’s Eve entitles them to being paid double or even
triple time. It shouldn’t really, because they’re not really even missing out
on anything. At least if you’re working, you don’t have to worry about how
you’re going to celebrate.

One year when we lived in Didsbury, we got the bus into town
on new year, and for some reason the bus company (Finglands) had decided to instil
a policy of ‘whatever your journey, £3’. That was a bit steep, considering you
could get a weekly pass for £2 in those days.

It proved to be really annoying too, because it took every
single customer along the route by surprise – and obviously the closer to town
people lived, the less value they were getting for their money. They all got
on, thinking they were going to get a bargain trip into town, but when greeted
with ‘wherever you get on, wherever you’re going, it’s 3 quid’, they didn’t
know what to do. And this happened at every stop, so you’d have to wait an age
while they deliberated: “what? £3?”

On or off!

Getting into town took forever – literally of course.

The best New Year that was entirely booze-fuelled, and on
which I actually went out, was probably the millennium. I know; it should have
been an anti-climax, and I suppose it was in a way… I hadn’t even made any
plans to go out – in fact, I was planning to stay in with the parents and watch
the final episode of the Das Boot TV series.

Instead of that, I got a phone call at the 11th
hour from my friend Pits. Somehow he hadn’t got anything to do, and we decided
he’d come over to the sprawling metropolis that is Wath-upon-Dearne, and we’d
go out looking for trouble.

Dad; VCR on standy. Don’t forget to record Das Boot. I
want to make sure them Jerrys are drowned good and proper…

It was a weird night, because you needed tickets to get in
everywhere – even at all the local pubs. We tried one in Swinton, but the
bouncer asked for our tickets, and we pretended we’d left them at home, and
would just pop back to get them.

Next we tried a pub down Wath. There wasn’t anyone on the
door, so with Pits being the fearless blagger that he is, we just went in. We
managed one drink before we were rumbled and thrown out.

Finally we found a pub in the centre of Wath that wasn’t
working on an all-ticket basis. It was like walking into an episode of The
League of Gentlemen. There were only about four people in there, and they
were all older than time, but nevertheless, they were delighted to see us. The
prices were pretty good, too.

I can’t remember much of what we did, but a very old
painted-faced lady insisted on kissing us as we left – in that wet way that
only grannies have.

So, yes, that is the best going out New Year’s Eve I can
remember. Pretty sad, really. Your best bet in my opinion, is to go to a house
party. Or even better, host one. You just need to make sure you plan it far
enough in advance, and hope enough people think it’s going to be good enough to
go to.

Last year we were planning to go for a meal with some
friends. It was something like £60 each, but you get all champagne and that.
Unfortunately our friends were completely skint, so just ended up going round
theirs.

This year the decision has been taken out of our hands,
since we’ll be in Canada over the festive period, and our flight back is on New
Year’s Day, so we’ll just be hanging out with Mrs Cake’s family.

Well, I’m not here to tell you what to do or where to go,
but wherever you end up going or not going, whatever you end up doing, have a
good one, and try to stay out of trouble, eh?

That’s me for this year, then. I won’t be able to post now
until the beginning of January, so look out for that. I’m thinking of starting
with a brief nod to three Spirits of the
Year, though that could well change before then. I also thought about doing
a little look ahead to what you can expect from me next year, but I tried that
and it wasn’t interesting. That’s not to say next year won’t be interesting! It
will. Seriously! I’m sure there will be some booze tourism adventures and I’ll
always think of a new experiment to carry out or something new to investigate –
as a taster, I’m particularly looking forward to finding out which standard
supermarket blended scotch is the best. So if you’re going to make a new year’s
resolution, make it to come back and visit my blog a bit more often. It’ll be
easier and better than quitting smoking. So I’ll see you soon then, yeh? Good.
Take it easy. Oh, and happy new year.

Sunday, 8 December 2013

Continuing the theme of Christmas related posts, since it's more or less that time of year, this week we'll be looking at something Mrs Cake and I did one day last Christmas... Day Drunk

I’ve had an early
beer before, even a whisky, and I’ve started countless pub crawls at noon, but
last Christmas, the wife and I decided to have a go at Day Drunk. Starting
at say, around 9am it was coffee with Irish cream replacing the milk, then it
was Prosecco in front of the telly and from there, wherever we felt like going
– which was nowhere, except to the local Tesco to pick up more Prosecco and a
little something for lunch.

Other than that, it
was a whole day drinking and laying on the sofa watching films and suchlike.
Below you can see a photo montage of the various drinks we had throughout the
day. We didn’t drink non-stop, but we did drink all day (me mostly, mind).
Occasionally there was between an hour and two hours when we didn’t have any
drinks, but only very occasionally. I made us cocktails and after a bit
we had a smoke.

I’m not sure whether
that was a good idea or not. It certainly compromised the integrity of the
experiment. I’m not going to go into why, but obviously it meant we were
susceptible to different influences and our behaviour was affected. We still
had fun, though.

I’d like to say the
Day Drunk experiment didn’t contribute to the general low feeling we had for
the remainder of our Christmas holidays, but let’s face it; it probably did. I
did far more drinking than I intended to, and looking at my calendar
now, the only day I can be certain I didn’t have anything to drink was New
Year’s Day – I was too ill. The rest of the time encompassed Christmas nights
out with various groups of people, visits with various friends and family, and
it all involved drinking. Never mind; the funk did last well into January, but
you get over it eventually - or things are never the same again and you get
used to it. Whatever, man. Day drunk.

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Mrs Cake and I were
discussing Christmas present budgets the other week and, while we’re
comfortably off we agreed that we would have to be a little more cautious this
year. So an upper limit was set. “Just so you know,” continued Mrs Cake, ”I
won’t be buying you any whisky this year.”

Yes, I was slightly
disappointed, but I took it quite well. I probably will get some whisky from someone, but even so, I know we’re going
to Canada for Christmas and that I’ll be looking to pick some whiskies up there
anyway, so in all honesty, I didn’t really need
to receive any as a present. I’m thinking one to drink while I’m there, a
bourbon and a Canadian whisky to bring back, possibly along with a Canadian
pomace brandy to if I can find one.

A couple of days
later, Mrs Cake said “I wouldn’t know how
to buy you whisky anymore anyway. I used to just go into a shop and ask for a
recommendation, but now you’ve tried so many more and there are ones you like
and ones you don’t like – I just wouldn’t know what to go for.”

Well, I don’t ever
want anyone to be discouraged from buying me whisky, so having already written
a beginner’s guide for buying whisky as a gift (see last week), it occurred to
me that I had some advice for Mrs Cake, and that you might be able to benefit
from it too. So, how do you buy whisky as a gift for someone who is enthusiastic about whisky?Here are some suggestions for things
you can do.

Determine whether there is a genre of whisky that they are less
familiar with, e.g. bourbon, Irish, Indian, grain (many whisky enthusiasts
are yet to try a single grain whisky). Yes it requires a bit of research
(read: ask them), but you can find a way to do it without giving the game
away. Even if you give the game away, it’s just going to make them look
forward to getting some whisky for Christmas.

Find out if they have an absolute favourite that they would be happy
to receive all the time – I, for example, am known to be a fan of the Caol
Ila 12, but I never buy it for myself because there is always something
else I want to try. It makes sense then, that for me Caol Ila 12 would
make a perfect gift [hint, hint].

Still not sure? Try this: new whisky expressions are being released
all the time, so one thing you can do is get a new expression. Your local
whisky specialist should be able to point something out, or there’s Master of Malt, The Whisky Exchange or Single Malts Direct.

If that doesn’t help, or it doesn’t narrow down your choices enough,
or you’re having trouble
choosing between candidates… just get one that is non chill-filtered
and/or greater than 40% ABV. If it isn’t chill-filtered, that alone is
cause for celebration for a whisky enthusiast, while I just find whiskies
bottled at higher strength more intriguing.

Now, some people say
there is no such thing as bad whisky. I don’t subscribe to that view, having
had one or two bad ones in the past, but the important thing to remember is
that different people experience the same whiskies in many different ways, such
that no matter how much preparation you do, you can never be absolutely sure
you’re going to score a hit with your purchase, hopefully these suggestions
prove useful to you in some way. I would be delighted to hear whether they did
or if you have anything to add.

There are now just
two weeks before we head to Canada for Christmas, so that means just two more
posts before 2014. Next week is likely to be a photo feature about a
drink-related activity Mrs Cake and I indulged in last Christmas. Come back and
join me for that.

Definitions

What happens when you zone out after having had a cheeky lunchtime pint.

Alcothusiast:

Not an alcoholic, someone who appreciates booze.

Anxiety, The:

The uneasy feeling that accompanies any noteworthy hangover.

Booze Buffet Mentality:

The propensity people have to go nuts whenever there's a free bar.

Booze Porn:Photos of alcohol.

Bread Chest:Not booze related, but this term describes the indigestion you get from eating too many bread products too quickly. Just putting it out there...

Crawler's Block:The inability to decide where to go next during a pub crawl - often resulting in crawl stagnation and someone saying, "shall we just have another one here?"

Crawl Stagnation:The result of failing to plan a pub crawl sufficiently - lack of a route, theme or over-familiarity with nearby pubs can all be contributing factors.

Excess Induced Alcohol Aversion:An intolerance for a drink caused (usually) by one occasion of overindulgence.

The Family:My whisky collection.

MOMA:

Moment of Maximum Appreciation. Every bottle has one. It's the time you drink it where you enjoy it most.

Old Man Pub:Traditional British pub, renowned for being quiet, cosy and frequented by old men. Much favoured by people who like a nice chat while they drink.Psychological Drinks Cabinet:Collective term relating to the kinds of alcoholic drinks a person has need for.Road Beers:

Cans of beer that you take with you when you go out, to consume on the way.

The 3 Types of Rum:White, gold and dark. Together they form the base of many a great cocktail.

About Me

Neil Cake is interested in all types of booze, but is by no means an authority or expert. Most of the time he's just trying to be funny, but he is learning, and enjoys sharing his adventures and what he learns on the Drink it How You Like it blog.
Thengyuverrymuuuuuch.