Wednesday, June 17, 2009

We're moving on from the apalling body politic of Albany. Wish our State Senators would move on as well, bobble-headed nonsense giving way to clear-headed judgment.

We've got community concerns to deal with. They, well...

Alas, boys will be boys, and it seems that nothing short of Death Match 2009could save the day -- assuming that day is worth saving -- in the State Capitol.

Yes, its Pedro "El Presidente" Espada versus Hiram "The Slasher" Monserrat for ultimate control of the Senate.

Pedro wins, Skelos rules. Monserrat prevails, Smith, Sampson, or any leader de jour gets the post. They annihilate one another -- there is no leader. The Senators return to the Senate, put forth every piece of legislation locked away in that drawer, and vote their own minds (do they have any?), or better yet, the way their constituents would have them vote.

Every bill reaches the floor. Every Senator has his/her say. Say goodbye to "three men in a room," and hasta la vista to a one man show in the NYS Senate.

I am Pedro EspadaAnd I'm here to sayThe Governorship Is but a heartbeat awayI made my bed In the GOP denThe Senate reconvenesI cannot say whenEn Espanol Diga meI let Dean Skelos Have his wayNow the gringosWant to run the showWhy did MonserratHave to go?The people's businessAt a standstillWith but 31 votesWe can't pass a billBack in the BronxNever had a coupNow I'm a big shotDeano, thank youA little latino among old white menEveryone needs SalsaEvery now and thenAnd that's the wayThis story goesAlbany's a messDon't you know?You can blame it on the Demsor the RepublicansAy, just don't blame itOn us Puerto RicansSi, si, si, si!- - -

Players in this State Senate standoff might wish to take a cue from New Mexico, where the law says that if an election is tied, the winner is chosen by a game of chance.

Five-card stud, a simple high-card draw, and even a coin toss have all had roles in choosing elected officials there.

This Capitol has had its legendary card games. But nobody ever heard of the Board of Elections certifying the outcomes.

More than a couple of people, when told about New Mexico, suggested as a New York alternative a steel-cage wrestling match — perhaps with a crowd on hand rooting for injuries.

What more essential metaphor could there be for our legislative politics than pro wrestling, with its fixes, flamboyance and fake rage? An urban lobbyist, shy about being identified, even proposed a contest between Sen. Pedro “The Defector” Espada, the putative president and champion, and indicted Democrat Hiram “The Re-Defector” Monserrate.

Somebody else suggested paintball. Another liked mixed martial arts.

But with the help of Deadlock Dean Skelos (R-Rockville Centre) and Middle Reliever John Sampson (D-Brooklyn) the actual sights and sounds of the day offered fresher ironies and twists than mere games:

*With a judge declining to take up the Democrats’ objections, last week’s 32-30 power-change vote, putting the GOP crew in the house majority, stands — at least for now.

Everyone on the GOP side says the 32 votes, including Monserrate’s, won them the top seats.

Everyone on the Democratic side says, with Monserrate’s return, both sides have 31 conference members.

Both numbers are correct, in a way.

Now, there’s something you don’t get with a single roulette ball.

*Espada, with Spanish-language press on hand........carried out a partially bilingual news conference — where his GOP allies all consisted of non-Latino Caucasians. Even if some looked befuddled, the pols were on-message in both tongues: We won, they lost.

*Democrats, fresh from nearly six months of cornering the majority’s top-pay positions, the good offices, the bills and the pork-barrel funds, are now boycotting the chamber — with the rationale that “mob rule” had been imposed. Some say those lawmakers should not be paid.

*Gov. David A. Paterson said he doesn’t know who’d succeed him if he vacates his job — so we’d all best root for his health.

*Skelos noted that the new Senate order, co-headed by himself, stands behind some very underrated reforms — such as limiting the Senate president to six years in that post.

*One week from today marks the one-year anniversary of his predecessor, Republican Sen. Joseph Bruno’s retirement — who served for 14 years as both majority leader and Senate president pro-tem.

*Whatever contest might be settled upon to break this deadlock, perhaps Acting State Supreme Court Justice Thomas McNamara could moonlight as referee. He showed his neutrality by ruling Tuesday: “In the present context, the question calls for a solution by the members of the state Senate, utilizing the art of negotiation and compromise ... The failure of the Senate to resolve this issue in an appropriate manner will make them answerable to the electorate.”

Will that electorate next year be a cage-match crowd, rooting for injuries?

1 comment:

Like just about everyone, I guess, I've been watching the saga in Albany unfold and gnashing my teeth at the pettiness and intransigence on display. At least for the time being, we now live in a state that has no capacity to legislate - a sorry state of affairs to say the least. This whole situation has been bothering me immensely, until I realized, based on a story in Newsday, that among the actions pending in the legislature that pertain to Nassau and Suffolk County are the following: authorizing a cigarette TAX; reauthorizing a hotel and motel TAX; authorizing a surcharge on traffic tickets (in other words, a TAX); and authorizing Nassau county to issue more debt (which will undoubtedly have to be paid via, you guessed it, a TAX). Hmmm, now that I think about it, maybe this Albany situation's not so bad afer all.....

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