18 The EastAfrican OPINION JULY 11-17,2015 LAST WORD Why ma≥≥ying you≥ dog can cost you you≥ job — at least in Flo≥ida Ryan Uhler was sacked af- ter mocking the right-wing view that allowing samesex marriage could open the door to people getting married to their pets. The 32year-old from Florida wrote on Facebook: “How is marrying a dog different if you love them? I hope we can focus on doggy-style love. I love my dog Rocco, and he loves me. Hopefully one day we can be married.” he wrote. But it turns out his employers failed to see the funny side, and the Cape Coral, Florida, resident has been let go from his role as a digital marketing specialist. The married dad-of-one ad- Illustration: Patrick Gathara Joachim Buwembo NRM’s Shi≥t No 2 has been ≥eti≥ed pe≥manently, just ask Mbabazi retiring his shirt number forever and nobody is allowed to wear the number again. His shirt is then symbolically hung at a place of honour. Uganda’s ruling National Resist- O ance Movement also seems to have retired its Shirt No 2. The decision was never announced, but the deployment of the Movement’s Number Two had never been announced officially in the first place either. So announcing the retiring his shirt was unnecessary. NRM’s Shirt No 2 was thus worn and retired the same way — unofficially. At the time of his death in March 2013, Eriya Kategaya was Uganda’s first deputy prime minister and minister for East African Community Affairs. Last week was four months past his anniversary but his passing came to mind because July 1 was supposed to be a big day in the East African Community, marking the completion of the Common Market. Well, Kategaya has never been replaced as Uganda’s minister for EAC affairs, though two Cabinet reshuffles have taken place nce in a few generations, a team finds it fitting to honour an outstanding player deemed irreplaceable by since. The official Cabinet list issued by State House clearly states that the portfolio is vacant. That is only the overt appointment. But Kategaya was more than that. When Kategaya passed on in a Nairobi hospital, Kenya was going into elections. Discerning Kenyans noted that top presidential contender Uhuru Kenyatta, arrived two and a quarter hours late at Gatundu South constituency were he was expected to cast his vote at 9.00am. Kenyatta was delayed because he first had to go and commiserate with the Kategaya family at Lee F u n e r a l H o m e . That on the most crucial day of his career Kenya’s incoming Illustration: John Nyaga president had to give two hours to a dead man is an indicator of what Kategaya was. Back in Uganda, Kategaya had long been described as “de facto number two” since before NRM took power and for two decades after. Because of NRM’s informality, such titles as de facto number two and official number two arise. Ugandans have known for three decades that the official number two may in reality not even be among the first 10 in the so-called queue. NRM has never forgiven one Kizza Besigye for trying to jump that queue 15 years ago. No vice president or prime minister has worn Shirt No 2 in the past 30 years. Former VP Gilbert Bukenya once thought it was his until a few “smaller” people kicked him about and he realised his true place. In the past decade or so, former prime minister Amama Mbabazi was thought to be have assumed No 2 after Kategaya started taking a backseat. Until a youth lady MP called Evelyne Anite who was born as NRM was taking power slapped him around for several weeks and he couldn’t hit back. When President Yoweri Museveni was swearing in Dr Ruhakana Rugunda as prime minister last year after sacking Amama Mbabazi, he commended Rugunda for never grumbling when his juniors were appointed in positions above him. That is NRM, where juniors can serve as bosses of their superiors. Kategaya himself was never full prime minister, always deployed as first deputy prime minister. Today, both his official and unofficial posts remain unfilled. NRM’s Shirt No 2 is permanently retired. mits that he isn’t opposed to same-sex unions, but he is a fan of controversial humour. And it turns out investment company Grace Tax Advisory Group is not and was uncomfortable with the suggestion of bestiality. Stationmaster cat blows last whistle Japan held a big funeral for its “Goddess” cat. The cat, Tama, became an international star when she was made a station master in western Japan. Tama was credited with making the rail company lots of money after drawing in thousands of tourists. Her custom-made cap and jacket made her a familiar sight at Kishi station. Tama’s dedication to the railway has now earned her the status of “Goddess”. Shortchanged for kebab, lucky to escape arrest Calling 999 over kebab? An irate takeaway customer in Manchester rang 999 at 4am to complain he had been short-changed for his kebab. He told officers he had paid for his food with a £10 note ($15), but staff only gave him change from $8. It’s understood the man was drunk when he rang 999, but call handler advised him to take up his complaint with staff again in the morning. City centre Inspector Phil Spurgeon said: “This caller has taken up police call handlers’ time and potentially stopped someone with a genuine emergency from getting through. Armed cops pinned to the street by one man Too powerful for two armed cops! A video captured a man with extraordinary strength in North London fighting off two police officers, pinning them both to the ground by their necks before fleeing. The man was being questioned by a male and female officer when he appears to suddenly try to escape. Both officers then begin to grapple with the man but he quickly overpowers both of them. He repeatedly shouts “Get off me” as he hauls both officers to the street and proceeds to pin them down by their necks. Automation proves costly for Time Warner Time Warner Cable Inc must pay an insurance claims specialist $229,500 for placing 153 automated calls meant for someone else to her cellphone in less than a year, even after she told it to stop. The Manhattan federal judge ruled in favour of Araceli King. King, of Irving, Texas, accused Time Warner Cable of harassing her by leaving messages for Luiz Perez, who once held her cellphone number, even after she made clear who she was in a seven-minute discussion with a company representative. Selfies tu≥n elephies when you ≥ide Jock the Cleve≥ Tuske≥ An amazingly clever el- ephant. South African holidaymaker Adrian Fowler was riding an elephant named Jock when he dropped his camera, which was attached to a selfie stick. The clever four-legged crea- ture spotted what had happened and quickly scooped up the lost item with his trunk and handed it back to his new friend so that he could continue shooting images of the safari in Victoria Falls.