NFL Picks, Week 12

Every year I participate in a Pigskin Pick ’em group organized by an obnoxious friend of mine from high school who spends his Sundays doing nothing but watching NFL football. I spend very little time watching football, and yet I continue to dream of beating him. And so every week I dutifully make my picks.

As always, winning teams in caps.

HOUSTON at Detroit — This game could be close, but I expect the Texans will beat a Lions team that is capable of winning the occasional game.

Washington at DALLAS — I’ve been picking Dallas to win almost every week, which is surprising, considering how much I dislike the Cowboys. But they’re not completely terrible, and they should be able to beat the Redskins at home. I’m a big fan of Redskins rookie QB Robert Griffin III, but he can’t work a miracle every week.

NEW ENGLAND at New York Jets — Most people are picking the Patriots to win this game, which surprises me — Team Blowhard is coming off a strong road win, and the Pats have lost the lovable Gronk to injury. But whatever. New England will win, and the Jets will lose. It’s as simple as that.

MINNESOTA at Chicago — I’m writing this on Wednesday, and my prediction is based on current intel: Bears QB Jay Cutler appears likely to sit out another week with a concussion, and I doubt Chicago can beat a quality opponent without him. Of course, the Vikings have a habit of losing games they should win, so this one could go either way.

Oakland at CINCINNATI — Much to my relief, the Bengals’ red-headed quarterback has returned to his winning ways. And he’ll keep winning on Sunday, when Cincinnati takes on the terrible Raiders.

PITTSBURGH at Cleveland — The Steelers will bounce back from a tough home loss to the Ravens, with or without QB Ben Roethlisberger.

Buffalo at INDIANAPOLIS — The Colts will bounce back from a road loss to the Patriots against the Bills.

DENVER at Kansas City — The Broncos are playing pretty well, and they’ll easily beat a Kansas City team that in the midst of a major meltdown. To be honest, I have no idea who the Chiefs are starting at quarterback these days. I have some dim memory of Brady Quinn playing about four minutes and getting injured. Does that mean Matt Cassel is starting again? I suppose I could do some googling and figure it out, but the Chiefs make me depressed, and I don’t want to think about them too much.

Seattle at MIAMI — I don’t know why, but I think the Dolphins can win this game.

ATLANTA at Tampa Bay — I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the Josh Freeman resurgence in Tampa Bay, but that doesn’t mean I think the Buccaneers can beat the Falcons.

TENNESSEE at Jacksonville — The Titans will pick up their fifth win against a Jaguars team that can’t do anything right.

BALTIMORE at San Diego — At this point, the Chargers can’t be trusted to win anything, and I expect them to completely fall apart against a tough-minded Ravens team.

San Francisco at NEW ORLEANS — Yes, I think the Saints can beat the 49ers.

St. Louis at ARIZONA — After a 4-0 start, the Cardinals have now lost six in a row. So why am I picking them to win? I don’t know. Maybe because St. Louis is awful, and has yet to win a road game this year.

GREEN BAY at New York Giants — Did the bye week help the Giants get their act together? Maybe. But I still expect them to lose to the Packers, I don’t know why.

Carolina at PHILADELPHIA — Yes, the Eagles are terrible, but it’s not like the Panthers are any better. The Panthers have won exactly two games: at home against New Orleans and on the road against Washington. These victories were both surprising, because Carolina is not as good as either of those teams, and has lost to weaker foes. I suspect that Carolina is only capable of winning when nobody expects them to, and since people expect them to beat the Eagles, I doubt they will.

I had a pretty good week last week, which is why I continue to gnash my teeth over failing to fill out my ballot when I was on vacation in October. At this point, there’s no way I can possibly beat my obnoxious friend, or even come close to overtaking him. Oh well.