Who Stole My Soap Bar? – Part 2

In the first post by this name, Who Stole My Soap Bar? I told a story of my neighbor, Hanif, who had stolen my soap bar because he wanted me to marry his sister, Fahmidah.

In fact, he’s so desperate to marry me to that beautiful damsel that he is ready to go to any length.

But I’m not going to marry that girl whom I’v always loved.

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Jurlene, my Bible Teacher, once chastised me for such adventures.

She was right when she said “Berni, didn’t I ask you to stop your adventures with women? They give you heartaches and worsen your insomnia problem.”

Poor Jurlene. I failed to obey her because I don’t fear evil.

I enjoy evil — even if it gives me heartache.

When I’m up to something good, I don’t care about storms nor tornadoes. What’s a heartache to stop me from doing the will of God?

She once likened me to “Samson” (The Invincible) because she fool said I had a bad eye for women, like Samson!

How evil on the part of my Bible Teacher!

How dare she judge the Judge of Israel?

Samson had committed no error when he married Delilah, the Palestinian woman.

God wanted him to do that to strike terror in the hearts of bloody Palestinians and teach them to respect the God of Jews — even if they had learned the secret of Samson’s incredible powers.

So my Bible Teacher used to believe the false doctrine of Jesus Christ dying for our sins and hence, she thought that this gave her a license to judge people and commit sins!

What evidence she had against me? I kept telling her about women showing lust in me and my fishing them for God but she thought I had a bad eye for women. How disgusting these teachers are!

There’s always some wisdom of God in my life’s adventures and she should have known that it’s impossible for us to understand God’s wisdom unless He explains it to us and He doesn’t explain to sinners, does He?

Why then she did evil and tried to judge me instead of asking me to explain myself?

In particular, why do they do evil and try to find error with the prophets, the judges and even God himself?

And if teachers and preachers of Bible can find error with the judges and prophets of Bible — which they believe is the word of God — will they not find errors with you? Will they not judge you?

Don’t these evil idiots read about Pharisees finding error with the prostitute who had come to listen to the word of God and Jesus’ refusing to judge her and even saving her from the death penalty?

Jesus, the Word of God, refuses to judge a known prostitute but these “holy” teachers and preachers will even find error with God.

That’s why I’m an outlaw and hated by many teachers and most preachers.

So why Hanif is so hell-bent on marrying me to his beautiful sister?

Why me?

When my wife threw me out of my apartment in February, 2014, I asked her where to go and she suggested I move to my brother, Abid’s.

I had no other place to go to. So I moved to Abid’s although I despise his insolence.

After two months of giving me hell, he once thought of glorifying Ka’ba, the largest idol of the world that is worshipped by Muslims.

I had once mentioned my amusement of God sending a flock of nightingales dropping stones on an army of elephants sent to destroy Ka’ba in 1998, completely shattering the elephants into pieces (Koran:105).

He decided to remind me of that amazing story (to show me how my conversion to Christianity was at fault.)

I asked him if they could ever find an archeological evidence of that army.

“No. It was completely shattered into pieces,” he answered.

“And what about the pots and the armors? You know, such a huge army doesn’t move empty-handed?”

“Everything must have been shattered” he answered in bewilderment.

“So it’s a false story, isn’t it?”

He was dumbfounded.

But his religious bigotry made him mad at me.

Next day, he tried to turn his humiliation into a victory.

At dinner, he accused me of being an idiot for having glorified Ka’ba in 1998. I said “I did it on purpose.”

That really infuriated him and his blood pressure shot up and he swallowed his pills.

He fool thought I trapped him since 1998! How could I’ve done that on my own? It was God who lays these traps.

My conversion to Christianity is both the reason of my troubles as well as the vehicle of my greatest victories — like Joseph, son of Israel.