Worst app of the week: ‘Pet Baby’ for iPhone puts your dog’s face on a baby

Apps are great. We love them. We love them enough to help you parse through awesomeones quite regularly. But with nearly a million apps on the Android and Apple App Stores, respectively, there’s bound to be some crazy, dumb, and downright disturbing apps floating around. And with that we present to you Pet Baby, and rest our case.

Though its name may contain two of the cuter things in life, Pet Baby is anything but. We first expected Pet Baby to be a game where you take care of some tiny creature, like a Tamagotchi. We were quite mistaken.

“Ever wondered what your pet would look like as a baby??” the app description asks. “Wonder no more with Pet Baby!! Simply line up your dogs eyes and nose and take a photo. Instantly this app shows you what your cute little furry friend will look like as a little baby! …. Try it and see!!”

Yes, this is an app that mashes together your dog’s face with a random baby’s face. The results may haunt your dreams.

The app is simple to use and it will lightly attempt to produce the results it promises: Your dog mashed together with a baby. Basically, the app just carves out a hole in one generic baby face (what’s with the mole, child?), forces you to somehow match the lighting, and take the perfect shot of your always fidgety dog to give the baby its eyes and nose. The best experiment we performed was merging my editor Jeff’s 4-year-old face with the baby’s. He unsuccessfully tried to merge his dog’s face as well, which you can see below.

Once you’re done failing to merge your dog’s face with a baby, Pet Baby insists that you not keep the freakish chimera you’ve created to yourself. Once you’ve completed the abominable deed of merging your tiny loved ones into an unspeakable monstrosity, it suggests you share the image with friends and family via social networks.

A good person would tell their friends to avert their eyes so as not to be exposed to the godless beast. A good person would delete the picture and never speak of the abhorrence it manufactured. Pet Baby does not want you to be a good person. Pet Baby wants you to be just as much of a monster as the creation you’re responsible for.

Do yourself a favor: Don’t download Pet Baby. Don’t take a picture of your puppy and merge it with the face of an infant. If you do brave it for some reason, be prepared for your sanity, your grip on reality, and your ability to feel any joy to leave you. If you’re lucky, you’ll be left with enough pity to delete the image that you’ve made. Otherwise prepare to always feel the unflinching stare of your very own Pet Baby, gazing directly into your soul, continuously asking, “Why? Why would you do this to me?”