This story is based on something that happened to me during my childhood which had a very great impact on me so I had to share it with everybody.

youTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJg6EI7bm6o

(might take a while to finish processing)

High Quality:

http://yuriythebest.g0dsoft.com/Untitled4.avi

WIP thread:

http://forums.cgsociety.org/showthread.php?t=492502

please comment and give your valued advice!

mistasam02

08-08-2008, 06:09 AM

LMAO dude that was so halarious! :D You have done it again! I believe you have begun a genre of ridiculously bad cg movies that ultimately are awesome for that very reason. I applaud you sir.

:applause:

Keep it up!

yuriythebest

08-08-2008, 07:15 AM

thanks.. I guess :)

SimonPickard

08-08-2008, 09:22 AM

Hi there,

I've just watched your film and thought I'd offer some feedback if that's ok..

The reason you're getting comments like the one above is due to the fact you're taking on an AMAZING amount of work. To do this project to a good stadard, which I'm sorry to say this isn't, would take years for one person.

You need to slow down, and learn how to do these things well, before taking on something so big.

I have an idea for you.... From here on in limit yourself to 1 or 2 simple characters and 10sec's MAX. Go for quality! Work those 10's until they are the best you can make them. Then stop and do another 10secs.
By finishing this film you've proven that you have amazing staying power and aren't scared of hard work. You just need to focus this into something really small and go for quality.

Then when you're feeling more confident in your skills take on something larger.

Regards,
Simon

musk

08-08-2008, 11:04 AM

Cudos to your dedication but your animation is lacking in several places and the most important is the story line, if I may call it this, is really hard to follow and your timing is totally off enhancing this effect.
A lot of your shots are way too long and you have a lot of artifical non story enhancing shots in there. Drop them.

Animation is too blocky, timing is off and you have some really bad deformations in there. As an example it looks like his hand broke at the wrist!

As SimonPickard suggested slow down and enhance your workflow

ragdoll

08-08-2008, 02:34 PM

i think i saw a roflcopter.

i like your ytube description for your video...
This story is based on something that happened to me during my childhood which had a very great impact on me so I had to share it with everybody.

i admire your dedication to the craft, most people would've never come close to finishing a short of such magnitude, but next time try not to bite off more than you can chew...it's clear you're trying to show a generalist project, but make sure it's up to par with what's out there, or at least close to it, otherwise don't bother. i think everyone said what had to be said...i'll give you an 'EF' for effort. :D since i actually watched the whole thing.

AlexLopez

08-08-2008, 03:58 PM

First off I think it's great that you stuck to it and actually finished a film. It is definitely hard work.

I have to agree that taking on a project of this size would take an enourmous amount of time to the point where people can actually appreciate the quality and not just the quantity. Now I did watch the whole thing too so you are on the right path to keep people interested in what you are doing.

Just a couple of notes that I have with the film to take into account.

The intro to the film could have been a little faster. It took almost a minute and a half to get to the main character. Flying through the mountains is cool especially showing your hard work on modeling and stuff. ( I thought you used Vue to create the landscapes but I didn't see them credited so I figure you modeled and textured them yourself) Making it faster could have cut down the time from 1:30 to maybe :15. Definitely would have also helped at rendering time.

The sound definitely could use some improvement if not only consistency. In some parts the music and sound fx were loud and in some very low.

The character's movements themselves could use some improvement obviously but if you are going with that style then obviously that's okay but if you zoom in on it, people will notice and always critique it.

That's all for me. There are more but I just wanted to give you a few.

Congrats on making the film though. Impressive!. Where are the other 3 if this one is "Untitled4" ?

I try to make each untitled animation incrementally better than the previous one and I think I succeeded with this one :)

mistasam02

08-08-2008, 07:42 PM

Wow hey sorry bro, I didn't mean to offend at all. I honestly thought this was just another goofy over-the-top short like your last one.. in the same style of "Skater Matt" or something. If you were trying to make a serious piece, there's a lot left to do. Your animation is definitely an improvement over Untitled 3, but the way everything moves is so rough that I thought you did that on purpose to make us laugh, lol. That being said, this was freakin epic, and I sent it to tons of people. :D

Also, could you explain how this relates to something that happened to you as a kid? That sounds like a pretty crazy story.

yuriythebest

08-08-2008, 10:58 PM

mistasam02 - could you recommend any good book/dvd for me to improve my animating skills- I assume this is what bothers you in this animation?

regarding this happening to me as a kid- yes, that was a pretty traumatic experience.

x70

08-08-2008, 11:04 PM

Post it on http://crackle.com/
or www.vimeo.com (http://www.vimeo.com/) I'd love to see it in higher quality.

mistasam02

08-08-2008, 11:09 PM

LOL!! :cool: too funny.. I hope that was metaphorical, or a dream you had, or some other fictional concoction.

Anyway, about the animation... try videotaping yourself doing the actions, and you'll see where you need to improve. There's a lot of IK hyperextension, body parts crossing through one-another, and overall lack of weight. When he's running (low shot of the feet) it looks like he's floating. This is just the animation part... the lighting/rendering also makes it feel more amatuer than you want. I could break it down shot by shot, but I really like it as it is now. I just like it for how cheesy it is (and I don't think that was your goal, lol)

yuriythebest

08-09-2008, 07:01 AM

. When he's running (low shot of the feet) it looks like he's floating.

that was supposed to be slow motion :)

I'm kinda getting tired of you calling my animation names. yeah I'm afraid the body parts crossing through each other slightly was unavoidable- otherwise I would just not get the range of limb movement for the main character to do anything constructive. I should do more rigorous design testing next time :) Please do break it down shot by show and do please offer a good dvd or book or something and also more advice.

x70- thanks will post it on those sites :)

Radiospank

08-11-2008, 05:36 PM

yuri, is that your name? The movie is really bad, ok fine but i love the concept of it all, because it's all so random. The animation is beyond bad, its almost looks deliberate, which i think adds to the humor. The music is also a bad choice, again adding to the humor. Now add a more coherent story line and i think u will have a winner, And i'm serious bout that, because you just took 12 mins of my life and it made me chuckle more than a few times. I actually had to hold back cause i was in the library. Anyway if your going for a serious movie making career, than i suggest starting at the basics, but if your going for the goofball shortmovie approach, then i suggest reading a good story writing book or film , book so that the story will at least be more interesting. BTW i love you dancing at the end, that is a total foreigner type thing that us americans, would never dream of doing, because we are so scared at what people might think, but i applaude you for your enthusiasm and your great dance moves...:cheers:

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