Friday, October 17, 2008

SHIT STORM!!!!

The most annoying thing just happened to me this morning. It started off like a usual weekday morning. Wake up early for a pre-work jog at KLCC Park, jogged for an hour then get back into the car park to head home, shower then head to office to start my work day.

Today was a little different though.

Just as I was driving out of the KLCC Car Park...."SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT....."

I looked on my windscreen and realized that a storm of bird (or bat) shit had hit my car and when I say storm I MEAN STORM.

A storm means what must've been like 30 drops of shit... that's right not one... not two... not three... THIRTY FUKING DROPS OF SHITT!!!

Now when some shit hits your windscreen the first thing you do is turn on the wiper to wipe it off right?

WRONG!!!

DOING THAT JUST SMEARED ALL THE SHIT ALL OVER THE WINDSCREEN. So after 5 minutes of wiping, this is how my windscreen looked from inside the car.

Look closely at the picture and you'll see smeared shit on the glass!

Then I looked around my car and realized that it wasn't only my windscreen that was hit but the entire car!

LOOK AT ALL THE SHIT!!!

THERE'S MORE

AND MORE!!!AND MORE!!!!AND MORE!!!!

AND MUCH MUCH MORE!!!

As I was driving back home I passed the Jalan Sultan Ismail traffic lights and even the cop that was there directing traffic had his eyes glued to my car as I drove past.

He was probably wondering to himself.. "WHAT THE HELL BIRD DID THIS POOR SONOFABITCH PISS OFF?!?"

ARGHH!!! DAMN BIRDS!!!

Now I know some people say it's good luck to be shit on by a bird.... but this must've been 30 OR MORE BIRDS (or one bird having a bad case of diarrhea). Seriously I am starting to think those 30 birds planned it all out this morning.

They probably realized I leave that car park at that time every day and they decided"Okay guys... when he drives out of the car park... we swarm him and shit all over his car! It'll be so funny... he'll never know what hit him and our shit is gonna smell real nice after all that fish curry we had last night."

I MEAN SERIOUSLY!!! How often do you see bird shit on the floor?? THEY ALWAYS AIM FOR THE CARS AND THEY ALWAYS HIT!!!

What are the odds... I was STILL in the KLCC Car Park and my car was moving... how the hell???

30 drops of shit? For real? Omg. Now you know, it's not wise to turn on the wiper when you have droppings on your windscreen! 30 drops! I wouldn't believe you if you didn't post up those pictures. Feeling any better now? Hope tomorrow turn out to be a better day for ya :D And no more droppings :P

You are bad at telling lies. Those shit looks overnight. Not something you see at the back after wiping the front part.

Also you jog for 1 hour? You gotta be kidding us. At least Mr Kenny Sia tells better lies about his training. We all know that porky can't do for 1 hour what he claimed but at least he tells good story. You? We appreciate you telling us stories but it's blatantly fake we can tell.

dyck: no man.. it definitely had some kind of shit smell and i wasn't going under a tree, i was exiting the car park, not even out of it yet.. i was still indoors. I didn't even see any of the birds but it most certainly is bird shit

jannah: ok so i should change the colour of my car.

cbb: yeah there must've been some bulls eye on it

mrgin: haih.. shit happens!

brenda: hahaha i don't know if it's really 30 lah but it looks like that by the number of drops

glenda: hahaha i actually had a brief thought of deleting your meaningless comment. but then i realize that they're rather amusing so i'll keep them here and just delete or ignore the future ones.