Wanted, directed by ace choreographer Prabhu Deva who also made the Tamil version of the film, is a senseless, noisy, gratuitously violent movie – the kind that you thought you had left behind in the 1980s. Salman Khan plays Radhey, a super-cool tapori who is described by his friends as “Rocky ka baap, Terminator ka nana, the last action hero”.

Our hero shoots, stabs and crunches bones for a living. He works for various gangs. Of course this isn’t quite what it seems and we have an end twist that justifies his violence. I couldn’t keep track of the many villains but they are all, without fail, seriously unattractive, loud and dumb.

One bad guy, who likes silky suits, screams: “Main international don hoon, don”. Another draws his nefarious plans on a blackboard with chalk.

The mind-numbing violence that these men engineer is interspersed with Radhey’s love story with a call center employee, played by Ayesha Takia, who is either doing aerobics or being mauled by men.