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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I sit in the quiet of my study with the precious Word of God open before me. His Word is so amazing. So rich. So powerful. Too many times I have picked it up and read it without much thought of just how precious it is. It is holy. It is pure. It is the voice of God in writing. As I begin my morning study time, I purpose in my heart to never pick it up nonchalantly again.

I open the holy scriptures and He begins speaking to me about grace. We are the object of God's amazing grace. Unmerited. Undeserved. Unending. Grace that is dispensed at just the right time. And in just the right amount. And in just the right way. Daily manna that is sent from heaven from the sweet Hands of our father. Handfuls of purpose dropped in our path for us to glean.

His Word alone is evidence of His grace in our lives. We can commune with Him at any time. He can speak to us through the scriptures each time we open the Word. Grace upon grace with each page we turn. Each word that we read. Amazing...

His provision is evidence of His grace in our lives. He provides in all things. For all things. Through all things. Whether He provides comfort during times of grief or bestows peace to our fearful hearts, His grace reigns. He provides rest for the weary. Healing for the wounded. New mercies for the repentant heart.

We find grace in the innermost essence of who God is. The rescuer. The preserver. The lover of our souls.

There is grace in the miraculous healing of a granddaughter. The whispered 'I love you's' while tucking in sweet grandchildren at night. A tearful phone call from a child needing prayer or a grandchild just needing her Nana.

There is grace in the emergency room as a grandmother cradles her oldest grandchild and softly petitions a loving God to reach down and minister peace and healing. And He does.

There is grace in the cleft of the rock where our Father has so loving placed us. In that cleft, He administers grace for the moment. Handfuls of purpose for the taking. In that cleft, we find the faithful and loving Hand of a compassionate God.

Deep in the Word of God, we tap into the ever flowing stream of grace. The knowledge of the Holy just waiting to captivate our hearts and minister to our spirits. To overwhelm and astound us. To draw us closer to the One who gives grace and who is grace.

His Word gives us life. His Word IS life. Let's treasure it. Revere it. Hide it in our hearts.

Thank you, Lord, for your amazing and precious Word. May we treat it with the respect and reverence that it so deserves. May we pick it up with trembling and excitement over what we will encounter in the pages we read. Thank you for your generous grace and your abundant Handfuls of purpose in our lives.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

As I sit tonight and reflect about the past year, and think about the last 11 days that will bring 2011 to completion, I am filled with a heart of joy and thankfulness. This past year has brought many smiles and much laughter. We have celebrated new birth and another beginning of new life. We have shed some tears of joy and also some tears of despair, but God has been faithful to wipe away those tears and replace them with sweet peace and comfort. We have had times of uncertainty and times of divine affirmation. We have experienced the sweetness of God's grace and the awesome and mighty power of His healing Hand.

I can look back over the past 12 months and see how God has been doing a work in my life. Increasing my hunger for Him. Drawing my heart for more knowledge of Him. Generously dispensing grace that I am so undeserving of. Growing my faith. Showing me that I can only flourish when I am totally dependent on Him.

He has shown me how to 'be still' in Him. How to rest in His promises. How to listen when He speaks and then to hold on to the Word that He gives me. He has shown me how to have a believing heart and has made me realize that He wants to give us good things! I have seen Him work and experienced Him in ways that I could never have imagined. I have felt His presence like never before and heard His voice with a new clarity.

It's been a year of growing and learning. A year of searching and finding. A year of longing for more of my Savior. A year of miracles. And encounters. And life-changing revelations of the soul.

As I think about the next year, there are many things that I hope to accomplish. I truly desire to continue to grow closer to my Lord every day. I long to be saturated in His love and enthralled with His glory. I want to want Him with a new expectancy. I pray that I approach the Holy scriptures with more reverence and appreciate the Sovereignty of them with a deeper respect.

May I never take the Word lightly but revere it and desire to obey it like never before. I pray that God continue to mold me and make me into His likeness. That He can use me for His glory, for His kingdom and for His purpose. May I be passionate in my pursuit of Jesus and determined in my quest for holiness. May I be a true seeker of God.

His goodness overwhelms me and I stand in awe of who He is and what He does. May His name always astound me and fill me with wonder. As He reaches down and touches my life anew, I pray that He leaves His fingerprints all over me. I want to be real. Authentic. I want to be new and different. Changed forever. I want to be His.

Looking forward and never glancing back as to what might have been, I strive to press on toward the finish line. No regrets, only resolutions for a new year. New mercies. A new intimacy with God. A new encounter with Jesus. May I celebrate His birth every day of my life.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

There are so many things that bring joy to my life. I have joy because I have HOPE in my Lord and Savior. Everything that I have and everything that I am is only because of the abundant grace and mercy of Jesus. That alone brings me much joy and happiness.

I am filled with joy when I see these ornaments on my tree each year.

I was certainly filled with joy as I watched my grandchildren decorate my tree last Sunday. It only took them about 5 minutes to get it done, but I think they did a great job. These sweet babies bring me much joy.

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Joy is seeing this precious face as this little angel was waking up from a nap after church.

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Joy is a little girl in a hot pink zebra print hat that she picked out herself. Especially when the little girl is a constant reminder of God's healing power. Thank you, Lord, for healing my sweet Mercie. I will praise you every day of my life and testify of your goodness as long as I have breath.

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Joy is taking 2 sweet boys to the park and taking lots of pictures of them while they play.

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Joy is my 1000 gifts journal. It has been so rewarding to record my daily blessings and be reminded of just how generous my God is in all things. As I near 1000 gifts, I am determined to keep going and be ever mindful of the many blessings I receive every day of my life.

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Joy is spending time with Mikaela, Eli, Mercie and Silas. I love being a Nana and I love being loved by my sweet grandbabies!

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Joy is Silas in his little teddy bear hat.

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Joy is the Word of God. There is nothing as satisfying as digging into His precious Holy scriptures. There is life in the pages of God's Word. There is unending treasure to be found deep inside the inspired words of the bible. When we read His Word, He speaks to our hearts. We learn. We grow. We fall more in love with our Savior.

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Joy is Laylah Beth.

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Joy is my baby girl loving on her baby girl.

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Joy is seeing the smile on this precious face. And the dimples...

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Joy is brothers....

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Joy is cousins...

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Joy is the Lord. Joy is the promise of His Word. The Truth of who He is. The faithfulness of our Father. The abundance of His mercy and grace. The magnitude of His love. Joy is Jesus.

Friday, December 9, 2011

The disciples had just witnessed the miracle of Jesus feeding more than 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 small fish. They didn't just hear about it. They didn't just witness it. They experienced it.

Yet, just a short time later, they fail to recognize Jesus as He walks on the water toward them. They had literally just spent many days with Him. Walking with Him. Journeying side-by-side with the Lord as He ministered to the sick and hurting. Watching Him perform miracles and wonders. They had been in close fellowship with the Lord. They had just been in His presence. But then at a time when they needed Him, they didn't see Him for who He was.

Are we like that at times? We spend time with our Lord. We commune with Him and we minister in His name. Then He does something astounding in our lives and we fail to realized, "That's Him". Jesus performs miracles in our midst and we fail to see. He is walking on the water and we can't see past our own preoccupations with ourselves to see our Savior at work.

We study His Word yet don't cling to His promises therein.

We sing about His marvelous grace and sweet mercy yet neglect to see it applied so generously to us day after day.

We seek His face but don't stay face-down long enough to find it.

We overlook His goodness. We take for granted His love. We want to know Him but aren't taking the time to make it happen.

We forget who He is. And what He does. We seem to think that God is unaffected by our cries for mercy and deliverance. But our God is a God who feels! Praise His holy name!

He is a God who wants to know us. He craves intimacy with us. He desires for us to long for Him. But the only way that we will encounter such a rich relationship with God is to spend time with Him. We will never recognize Him in the ordinary until we have experienced Him in the extraordinary. Our lives must be based on an intimate and personal relationship with Christ. We must stay in the Word and on our faces to keep ourselves aware of Him in all things.

Our God is greater and higher than all else. He is love. He is mercy. He is grace. He is everything.

We serve a God who hears our prayers. He sees our tears. He feels our despair. He covers. He heals. He restores. Jesus is faithful, abundant and true. When we seek Him and earnestly search for Him with all of our hearts, we will find Him. We will look up and see Him walking on the water toward us and say, "It's Jesus... I knew He would come..."

Friday, December 2, 2011

This past month has been such an amazing journey in growing my faith. November 6, 2011 is a day that I will never forget and I pray that God will keep it burned in my mind for all time as a reminder of His greatness and His power and His sweet goodness. That is the day that He reached down from heaven and placed His gentle healing hands upon my sweet granddaughter, Mercie, and made her whole. It was a day that I held a miracle in my arms as I cried out to Him for mercy on my sweet girl.

Many times during this past 4 weeks, God has had to whisper the words 'remember' in my ear. When my flesh allows the dark shadow of fear to creep into my mind, He takes me back to that day when I knew that something amazing had just happened. I knew that He had healed her. I felt it. The power that surged through her little body was unmistakable. And I knew.

I have praised my Savior every day for her healing. I am still in awe of Him and His goodness. I continue to stand on the promise of His Word and to lean on what I know to be true. I have no doubt what He did in her little life and I am humbled by it daily. My flesh is still so weak, but everyday I pore over the Holy scriptures desiring to gain strength from them. I search for truth and revelation. I seek a fresh anointing of knowledge and discernment.

I have been so disappointed in myself as I have so often lapsed into a state of mind bordering on unbelief, but every time God has shown me such grace and patience. He has been right there to quicken my thoughts to the truth of who He is. And the truth of what He does. And then I wonder why I would ever doubt. Why would I counter what I know to be the work of His Sovereign and Divine will with doubt. Why would I even entertain thoughts of fear. But then I realize that of my own depravity and weakness of flesh, I can do nothing but that. And that only through the power of the sweet Holy Spirit, can I walk boldly in my faith. I can only draw strength from the giver of this strength. My Savior. My Lord. My Rock. My Deliverer. Only through Him and His precious power and generous dispensing of grace can I function in this life. But because of who He is, I can KNOW. I can BELIEVE. I can rest in the promise of what I know to be TRUTH.

I go back to the book of Ezekiel and focus on the words that God spoke to the dry bones. Over and over I repeat these words until they become part of me. Until they soak way down into the marrow of my bones and fill me to overflowing with a deepening knowledge of the Holy.

".... and you shall know that I AM the LORD."

(Ezekiel 37:6)

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I love it when Mikaela stays with me. She is such a precious and sweet young lady with a heart for God. She is growing up way too fast and she loves to cook! She made this delicious pecan pie before church a few weeks ago when she spent the night with me and her Papa.

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She loves her little cousin Laylah Beth. She is so gentle and sweet with her. I love my Mikaela.

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I love the many faces of Eli. He is a laugh a minute and can melt my heart in about 2 seconds.

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This face makes me smile. He is such a sweet and amazing little boy.

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Eli loves his big sister, Mikaela. They have always been good friends and I pray that they will love each other like that always.

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I love my sweet Mercie. She brings much joy to the world with her sweet personality. She is a Nana's girl and there is nothing as precious as her little arms wrapped tightly around my neck and hearing her say, "I love you so much Nana!"

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Oh, how I love this little miracle girl.

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I love my sweet Silas. He is such a mama's boy, but loves his Nana too! He has the sweetest little smile that makes his whole face light up.

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I loved the way Silas and Mercie were so intently watching their newest little cousin Laylah the other day.

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I love my little Bryton. He is so sweet with his little sister and he is such a tender-hearted little fella. He talks about God all the time and is a real deep thinker for a 4 year old!

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I love my Sawyer. He is still a baby in some ways, but in others he is wanting to be like his big brother. He has a sweet voice that can make me want to give him anything!

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I love my newest little grandbaby. Such a sweet little delicate girl with a smile that has already stolen my heart.

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Thank you, Lord, for blessing me for now with these. You have given me much more than I deserve and I love you with all of my heart. I will strive every day of my life to live worthy of my calling and to bring nothing but glory and honor to your Name.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Are we passionate about worship? We have to first be passionate about the One we worship. We must be in love with the Lord our God if we are going to enter into true, unadulterated, passionate worship of Him. We must love Him above all else, more than all else and in spite of all else. We must be deeply in love with our Savior. With an insatiable and ever increasing intensity. We must have a desire to know Him and to make Him known.

He is the New Covenant.

He is our Mediator, Creator.

He is worthy of our worship.

He is worthy of our praise.

Our God is our Lord and our King. He is eternal. He is Holy. He is righteous.

He is our Bread of Life.

He is our Living Water.

The Nourisher of our soul.

He fills. He completes. He satisfies.

He is mercy. He is grace. He is Salvation.

He redeems. He restores. He refreshes.

He is our everything. He is all that we need. He is love.

When we fall completely in love with our sweet Lord, we will see that He is certainly worthy of our worship and praise. And we will be more than passionate in our worship of Him. We will fall on our faces in awe of who He is and worship Him from the very depths of our being. We will passionately pursue our Savior with an insatiable appetite. We will long for Him and thirst for Him like never before. And we will indeed be passionate about worship.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Believing what we can't see. The evidence of things hoped for. The substance of things not seen. Knowing that what He has promised is true.

Faith...

Hearing from God and knowing His voice.

How big is our faith? Do we believe for others but not for ourselves? Do we deem others worthy of a miraculous healing touch from God but don't feel worthy ourselves?

Faith...

Commitment to God and His will. Total reliance upon the Lord. Confidence in Christ.

Abraham was a faithful servant. His faith is what prodded his pleading to God on behalf of the city of Sodom. Because of His faithful prayer life, God was willing to spare the city for only 10 righteous people. It only takes the faith of a few to obtain the mercy of God for a nation.

Abraham's faith is what enabled him to trust God completely when He called him to sacrifice his son. "Thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest" (Genesis 22:2). In his own strength and character, Abraham couldn't have done that. But because of the faithful relationship he had with God, he was able. He had faith in God's promise to him regarding the covenant He established with Isaac. He knew that even if he had to sacrifice his son, there would be a resurrection. He knew God would provide the lamb. He trusted His God and His Word.

Oh, to have the faith of Abraham. I so desire that kind of dependence on my Lord. To trust Him in all things and for all things. To depend solely upon Him for my direction in life. To place my loved ones in His hands since they belong to Him anyway. To know that He will provide the lambs needed in my life when I am called upon to obey, even unto sacrifice.

I want God to be my Jehovah-Jireh. My provider. I want to grow closer to Him each day and know Him like never before. More intimate. More personal. Deeper. Higher. I want to love Him more. I want to know Him...

"Not that we are sufficient of ourselves

to think any thing as of ourselves; but our

sufficiency is of God"

(2 Corinthians 3:5)

I want to trust Him no matter what. No hesitation. No procrastination. No doubting. No excuses.

Just trust and obey. He is worthy. He is faithful. He is God.

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Mercie had a re-check today and the doctor confirmed that indeed she is healed. (my words, not his..) He also confirmed to Megan what he thought would be the outcome of the blood work. He was sure that Mercie was very ill. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind whatsoever that my God healed my Mercie on last Sunday morning. I know that He has plans for her and that she will have a mighty calling on her life. I am just so thankful that He allowed me to be a part of this incredible testimony of hers. I will praise Him and testify of this miracle for the rest of my life. I learned a huge lesson about faith and I pray that I don't have to be retaught.

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God, you are good. All the time. I love you with all that I am and I am yours.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Do I believe in healing and miracles? Oh, yes. In fact, I have a little miracle asleep in my bed at this very minute. A precious, amazing miracle in the form a 3 year old granddaughter named Mercie.

Last Saturday, as I was visiting my daughter and her 4 children, I noticed that Mercie's neck looked swollen. I began to look closer at it and couldn't believe how big the lymph nodes on either side of her neck were. Like, really big. When she turned her head sideways you could see them protruding. I don't have to tell you that at that very moment my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach and I felt a cold chill go over me. Trying not to alarm Megan, I asked her if she had noticed it and she said that she was just now seeing it. I asked her some questions about how Mercie was feeling and told her that she definitely needed to go to the doctor first thing Monday morning. I left there that evening with a very ominous feeling and something in my spirit said, 'Beth, your world is about to be turned upside down'. I spent that evening in a state of denial and tried very hard to put it out of my mind, but couldn't. I didn't sleep much that night at all. I spent the night praying for Mercie.

The next morning, Megan and her family came to our church for the start of our revival services. During the worship service, I was holding Mercie in my arms and praying for God's healing upon my precious little granddaughter. Our worship was being led by 'The Crusaders' and as they were singing The Revelation Song, I was crying out to my God asking for His Healing Hand to rest upon Mercie at that very moment. As I held her and she had her head laying on my shoulder, I began to feel the most incredible surge of power flooding through me and into that baby. I could feel His mighty healing begin to take over her little body and the tears just began to cascade down my face. The feeling was so overpowering and so overwhelming I can barely describe it. But I knew at that very minute a miracle had taken place.

Early Monday morning, I called to check on Mercie and Megan said that her neck was the same. She called and made Mercie a doctors appointment for that morning and I met her in town so I could be with her. The doctor was very concerned at the size of her lymph nodes and couldn't find anything to rationalize it. No fever. No swelling anywhere else. No ear infection. No throat infection. Nothing. He sent her to the hospital for some blood work and my mind went into overdrive and I almost let the devil get a victory there.

As I was keeping the other kids at the park, Megan took Mercie to the hospital. The Lord and I were having an intense conversation while I was trying to entertain my other grandchildren. I was telling Him that I knew He healed her, so why hadn't the swelling gone down? He was telling me that it was about faith, not about visible results. It was about believing without seeing. Did I trust him or not?

After several hours of waiting on results, the blood work came back normal. The doctor prescribed a strong antibiotic and said he wanted to see her back the next Monday.

Tuesday morning brought no changes. But still I was wrestling with what I knew to be truth and what I could see with my eyes. Revival services that night were awesome and such a powerful Word was spoken. I kept clinging to what I knew to be true but still struggling with no change in the swelling.

Wednesday morning came and I spent several hours in my study pouring my heart out to my precious Lord and digging into the Word for some revelation. I needed a word from Him. I needed some affirmation of what I knew to be true. I finally got in my car and headed out to Megan's house. On the way, the Lord was telling me that I needed to accept Mercie's healing regardless of what any outward appearance showed. Regardless of any other indications, I needed to trust Him. I began to praise Him for healing her. I began to pour out blessings and thanksgiving to Him. I was driving and crying and praising all at once! Just as I was finally at the point where I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my God had healed my granddaughter, I pulled up in Megan's driveway. I looked at my phone to check the time and somehow still had face book pulled up from earlier. One of my friends had posted this picture and when I saw it, I just lost it.

The 3 words that are highlighted are Blessings, Healing, Mercies. This was not a coincidence. This was orchestrated by God at just the right time. It was affirmation of what I knew to be true and it was my sweet Savior saying, 'She is healed. Rest in my promise, Beth'.

I had the most overwhelming and astounding sense of His presence at that very moment. It was all I could do not to shout it from the top of my lungs. I may never know what God healed my little Mercie from, but I do know that He healed her. Completely. He has a mighty calling on her life and I will do whatever I can to ensure that she is a girl after God's heart from here on out.

"Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh;

is there anything too hard for me?"

(Jeremiah 32:27)

Indeed, there is nothing too hard for my God. And each time I hold my little Mercie-girl close, I will gaze into her little eyes and see my Father's image shining forth from within. And I will raise my eyes toward heaven and declare, 'that's HIM!'