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May 11, 2014

Sharing Memories Week 19: My Mother the Adventurer!

Join us for Sharing Memories - A Genealogy Journey
We focus on memories of our parents, grandparents and others. We write
for our children and grandchildren, that the memories are not lost over
time. I hope you are keeping a journal, whether it is private or public,
and joining us as we write our memoirs.

My mother was a character. She wasn't a warm fuzzy mother but she was
into living life to the fullest. She was
fiercely independent and proud and she taught me that you should not depend
on others to take care of you. You must be self-sufficient in all ways,
and make your own way in the world.

A tiny woman, only 5'2" tall, she made up for her lack of height with a feisty attitude. No one would force Mom to back down! When
she was in her mid 50s she decided to retire, sell all her
possessions, buy a Winnebago and travel. She convinced her mother (in
her 70s) and older sister to go with her.

Mother, Lily and Grandma Ruth traveling in their Winnebago

Mom took a mechanics course to
learn how to fix the car they towed behind them. They traveled all
over N. America and Mexico for many years. Mom did all the driving, Lily
(her sister) did the cooking and cleaning. They were even written about
twice in Motor Home Magazines!

When mother was 80 she decided to hike through
Australia with nothing but a pink Barbie backpack. She wanted a hot air
balloon ride for her 80th birthday and was determined to do it in
Australia. So off she went! On her own.

That was the start of 10 years of constant travel. Every year she took
one major trip - to S. Africa, to Russia, to China, New Zealand, back to
Australia, to Denmark, Sweden, Finland and many other places. In
between her big trips she took what she called "little jaunts" - to
England, New York, British Columbia, Nova Scotia, Alaska... I can't
remember everywhere she went, it seemed she was always off somewhere.

She usually went alone, sometimes she booked a tour, but S. Africa she
did on her own which was very worrisome to me. Her last big trip was
around age 90 when she and her younger sister went camping in the
Australian outback for 2 weeks. Everyone in the group was in their 30s
except Mom and her sister.

Godfrey, Mother & UltraLight

At age 60 she learned to fly an airplane and was within a few hours of
getting her pilot's license when she stopped the lessons. I don't know
why, Mom would never let on she couldn't do something, but she might
have quit simply because she only took the lessons so she could fly the
ultralight that she and her companion were building!

In her 70s she moved to British Columbia with her
companion and they began going on little impulsive adventures. She
phoned me once from a highway en route to Alaska. She and Godfrey (her
companion) had decided on the spur of the moment to take a pup tent and
go to Alaska so off they went.

Another time she phoned from somewhere on the West coast of America,
saying she was on her way to the Rose Bowl Parade. She and Godfrey had
gone to Tim Horton's for a coffee and over coffee decided to get in the
truck and start driving until they reached California. They didn't even
go home to pack a toothbrush or clothes, they left from the Coffee Shop.

When she would visit me at my home she'd bring a tent and pitch it in my
backyard. I was horrified the first time that happened, and begged her
to come inside and sleep in my guest room. She refused, saying she
preferred to sleep under the stars. I was very upset and told her the
neighbours would think I was a horrible daughter. She smiled, patted my
hand and said "Dear, just let me do my own thing"

And that was my mother - doing her own thing until her death at age 93. A
character who led an active, full and interesting life!

It sounds like your mother was determined to live her life to the fullest. What that means depends on the person. She lived with passion, and that's how life should be. She may also have hoped that a visceral awareness of how life could be would miraculously cure your health issues so you could live a life similar in style. That's unrealistic, but a person who has no health issues often can't see that. We each have our own perks. There's a lot to be said for sharing stories and taking care of loved ones. Some people are nurturing and others not. My mother was also not a warm and fuzzy woman--but I think that was more from the necessity--being a divorcee raising 4 girls alone with no financial support other than what she earned. She died young and didn't have a very good life. She was very empathetic, but she always said life isn't fair, it just is, and you have to make the best of it. She expected you to be strong and had little patience for weakness. It was the whole stiff upper lip thing. Just be glad your mom was lucky enough to be healthy enough to lead a fulfilling life. I think, as you age, you just gotta do what makes you happy, hopefully at not too much cost to your loved ones. Life only comes around once. When I break up with men, it's often been a slow process of making mental notes of what I'd be doing if I wasn't in that relationship. When the break actually comes, I usually start working on fulfilling my list. It sounds like your mother had an awesome list. Life often kills spontaneity, and she was obviously determined not to let it die.

I'm an incurable collector of
antiques, an avid genealogist and a messy but creative cook! I blog, i write history and genealogy books. My main genealogy website is Olive Tree Genealogy http://olivetreegenealogy.com/