• Hopes are high for the prime minister's big speech on Europe. But even before he says a word, lieutenants seem ready to give him a right old kicking. For proof, we turn to the political sage and broadcaster Iain Dale, who has detailed in his blog a curious communication sent on behalf of the Conservative MEP David Campbell Bannerman. "It's worth getting in touch with Eurosceptic MEP, David Campbell Bannerman," the missive said, for he "will not shy away from criticising any form of fudge from the PM on the issue, and is prepared to fully express his disappointment and his concerns that supporters will leave and join Ukip in droves – sealing Cameron's fate as a one-term PM". The spinner, who claims to have been working on his own initiative, then provided an example of the sort of cuff Campbell Bannerman might deliver. "I am very disappointed that we still don't have the promise of a genuine in/out referendum, that will give Britain the option of leaving the constraints of the EU … The British people will not forgive us for this fudge… I had hoped that this announcement, which has been trailered [sic] for weeks, would signal the start of the end of Tory infighting over Europe, and supporters leaving us, to join Ukip. Sadly, this non-announcement will only lead to the opposite." Doctors call this premature recrimination. Not fatal but certainly merits attention.

• To Scotland Yard, home until the building is flogged to the highest bidder, of the world's top police force. Renowned for its expertise and probity. Lauded for its detectives. And the scene right now of considerable turmoil as subordinates discuss plans cooked up by the hierarchy and Boris Johnson's policing guru Stephen Greenhalgh to return more detectives to neighbourhood duties. You can't do that, reporters told Assistant Commissioner Simon Byrne. Oh yes I can, he said. Who are these detectives? Just "constables who wear jeans and a T-shirt". Cue an eruption among the detective cadre, ferocious enough to force the assistant commissioner to post an apology without apology on to the intranet. For what are commissioners? Detectives with flat caps, at best.

• To Westminster now, and here's a motion worth highlighting. "This House notes with profound concern reports in a recent BBC documentary alleging that some police who were involved in prosecutions following the infamous violence at the Orgreave Coke plant in South Yorkshire colluded when they wrote their statements." It notes that 95 miners charged were rightfully acquitted and calls on the director of public prosecutions to conduct a full inquiry. Thirty-nine MPs – mostly Labour – have signed it; a couple of Liberal Democrats, and even the Tory Peter Bottomley. As for Labour's frontbench: oh dear – so much to do, so little time.

• Following the terrible helicopter crash that claimed two lives in south London yesterday, there will be obvious concern about the safety of such craft above the crowded skies of London. Also calls for a wide-ranging investigation. There are already demands that something be done. "Maybe we're almost taking it for granted that people have the right to take their helicopter over London at any time and we're going to have to look at that," said local MP Kate Hoey. "That is something that will have to be looked at," agreed PM Big Dave. But in truth, the risk is much the same as it was six months ago when Julian Huppert, Lib Dem member for Cambridge, put down an early day motion highlighting the risk from helicopter flights and calling for the matter to be given further consideration. And how many MPs out of 650 supported him? Glenda Jackson, John Leech, Mike Crockart. Just three.

• News, finally, on Conrad Black's continuing return to polite society. He is to be guest speaker at the Catholic church's annual Red Mass at Toronto's St Michael's Cathedral. The Red Mass is organised by The Thomas More Lawyers Guild of Toronto – a Catholic lawyers' group "designed to remind us of the spiritual origins and purpose of our laws and of the vocation of laws". Conrad stands as living example. Always more sinned against than sinning.