Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Maybe I'm wrong...

I had a philosophical discussion with a friend the other day about the nature of people's perceptions about other's.I think it really bothered him that I don't share his opinion...

Sometimes people are going to think things about you that are misguided, or they may misinterpret the signals that you are consciously or unconsciously putting out. I don't think it is an individuals responsibility to try and clear up those misperceptions. If someone thinks you are a jackass, it is not your responsibility to go to them and "prove" that you aren't. If someone thinks you are a slacker, it is not your responsibility to "fix" their thinking.

I guess my point is that I can't control what people think of me, the only thing I can control is me and my actions--everyone elses reactions are beyond my control.

He felt that if someone has a misconception about you that you should go to them and confront them and straighten them out. If they think you are a loafer, you ask them, "why do you think I am a loafer?" and they will tell you and then you argue it out that you aren't a loafer because of this, this and that....

I agree that you can't change anyone's opinion of you but I can see where your friend is coming from in the perspective that if their opinion of you bothers you enough that you are upset about, Then you may be compelled to go straighten them out or set the record straight. I suspect that there are very few people who's opinion of you really matters so much that it would upset you and those are the people who usually know you well enough not to be misguided about who you are anyway. Keep on being you. M