Brains for Spilled Tea

Summary: Levi goes rage mode when Eren spills a cup of tea meant for the Corporal all over his papers. A cat and mouse chase ensues, and Armin's cool logic may be the only thing to keep Eren alive.

The Chase

Eren knew he was dead
when one of the cups of tea he was carrying slipped carelessly from his hand
and onto Corporal Levi’s desk. It landed with a clatter, the porcelain
shattering and spilling its contents all over the papers on the no longer neat
surface. The shards settled and the tea soon began to soak into the documents.
Levi was terrifyingly quiet as he snatched up the papers, attempting in vain to
wipe them clean with his handkerchief. The ink had already begun to smudge.

“Heichou…! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Eren
stammered, looking over the incredible mess he had managed to make.

There was another
period of harrowing silence. Eren noticed through his fear that the papers in
Levi’s hands were rustling; he then noticed the death grip the other had on
them. The Corporal was practically shaking with rage.

“C-corporal…?” he
sounded like a frightened child—perhaps because he was.

When Levi spoke for the
first time, his tone was bland but dark. “Run,” he stated, still gazing upon
the lost potential of his paperwork.

“Levi Heichou, I swear
it was an accident…I’m so sorry!” Eren bumbled on despite the grueling warning
he’d received.

When Levi finally
turned his glare to the young cadet, his eyes were so filled with fury that
Eren thought he might spontaneously combust. His gut dropped in absolute fear.

“Do you have shit for
brains, brat? Or didn’t you hear me say run?”
Levi’s ground out every syllable.

The titan shifter
couldn’t help the effeminate squeak that escaped him as he sprinted from the
short Corporal’s office. He had no idea what Levi was going to do to him, but
scenes from a certain court room incident wormed their way into his mind. Eren
would be damned if he was going to lose another tooth. So he ran away,
screaming like a little girl. He wondered vaguely what his comrades would think
of this. But that would have to wait until he reached safety.

“Jaeger!!” the bellow
was impressive; its intensity was something that Eren could only have
accomplished in titan form. It begged the question, is this man even human?

Eren knew from watching
the man fight titans that Corporal Levi was a fast little bugger, but he
wondered if that skill transferred from air to solid ground. Though he feared
more than anything what he would find, Eren peered over his shoulder as he ran.
Levi was practically right on top of him. Eren would’ve been in awe if he
wasn’t about to piss himself. How on
earth can he run so fast? The teen was already huffing from the exertion.

It took only a small
stumble of his foot for Eren to go tumbling onto the stone floor. Levi swooped
down on him, landing a swift kick to the teen’s side to keep him down. He drew
one of his swords from his belt and pointed it up under Eren’s chin.

“Those stains will
never come out, you fucking shit,” Levi’s growled in an unearthly manor.

The other whimpered in
fear, raising his hands up to his throat defensively. Levi stepped on either of
his wrists to keep Eren down—and from protecting his flesh from Levi’s sharp
blades.

The blade under Eren’s
chin was pressed harder against his jugular, drawing out a thin stream of
blood. The teen gasped at the pain, rolling around under Levi’s grip. The
Corporal’s feet twisted to quell the wriggling, grinding the skin on Eren’s
wrists. He squeaked again in pain.

“I’m sorry! Please,
Heichou!” Eren shifted once more, trying to shake free from the Corporal’s
snare. When the blade was pushed further into his throat, he gagged, “Y-you
can’t kill me! Wh-what the hell good would that do?!” The words were hard to
push out.

Levi’s brows knit
together. Despite his obvious anger, to anyone else he might’ve looked
completely disinterested; but Eren could tell the difference. In fact, he had
never seen the Corporal so angry. His eyes burned.

“Oh I won’t kill you,
Jaeger. But I can bring you close. And besides, you heal fast anyway…” He
cocked his head, as if needing a fresh angle, “Right, shitty brat?”

“H-heichou! Please!
What good would that do?! They were just some stupid papers!”

Levi dug his heels into
the shifter’s wrists. The heeled soles were cutting off the appendages’
circulation. Eren grunted through clenched teeth.

The Corporal laughed
bitterly, “Just some stupid papers, huh?” He put every ounce of his weight onto
Eren’s raw wrists. “No, not urgent paperwork from Wall Sina, nothing important
at all, just some stupid papers.”

Eren wondered how much
blood he was losing from the pinprick on his throat—was his faintness from
blood loss, or just plain terror? Either way, he feared what would happen when
Levi finished his speech. Would he cut his throat? Or perhaps sever a few
limbs? Maybe he’d just beat the shit out of him with those lethal kicks of his?
All three wouldn’t have been too much to expect.

Though Eren’s limbs
would grow back, it still didn’t feel too good to lose them in the first place.
He wasn’t looking forward to Levi’s torture. He had to do something quickly. As
Levi spoke, he slithered his hands around to loosen them a bit, latching onto
the Corporal’s boots when he had enough hand room.

“Tch, just some stupid
papers…well you know what, brat? You’re just some stupid shit I’m about to cut
to pieces!” Levi growled.

When Levi leaned
forward over top of him, Eren took his opportunity.

“I s-said…I’m…sorry!”

Eren pushed back
against the Corporal’s weight with all of his strength, effectively heaving him
off his perch. Levi stumbled—surprised that the brat had the audacity to even try and break free of his hold—and fell
over entirely. He landed ungracefully right on his ass. The resounding thump was enough to alert those eating
in the mess three halls away. The throw had perhaps been too effective.

It was at the moment he
saw Levi falling backwards that Eren had decided he was dead. He didn’t even
wait for Levi to tell him to run before he scrambled to his feet and began to
haul ass in the opposite direction.

Levi sat, stunned. The
fall had knocked the breath out of him, leaving him in a momentary daze; one
that was broken the second he saw his underling clambering through the hallway
like a drunken squirrel.

He unleashed another
vicious growl as he jumped to his feet, “Eren fucking Jaeger!!”

“W-what’s going…on?”
the timid voice came from behind the fuming Corporal.

When Levi snapped
around his head, he saw the cool-headed Armin standing before him. He looked
positively frightened, like he was approaching a rabid pitbull—a thought Levi supposed
wouldn’t have been too off the mark. He must’ve been alerted to the drama by
the sound of their Corporal falling on his ass. Or perhaps it was all the
yelling and cursing? Either way Levi didn’t give a shit.

“What’s happened?”

Levi apparently didn’t
think the question had merit, as the fair-haired cadet received no response.
Instead, the Corporal turned on a heel and sprinted at unholy speed in Eren’s
direction.

“Come back here, you shitty brat!” Levi let out another battle cry as he rampaged.

Armin stood there
confused, what did Eren do this time?
He knew he would only find out if he followed the two of them in their little
cat and mouse chase. He couldn’t run very fast, but he was determined to catch
up before Levi ripped his friend clean in two.

Armin supposed the
sight was a bit odd: Eren perched up high in a tree, hugging the trunk like a
lifeline and Lance Corporal Levi at the base, hurling daggered stares and
curses the other’s way. The two had quite a strange relationship he thought; if
they had to work so near each other, shouldn’t they at least try to get along a
bit better? He wondered what had gotten the Corporal to fume like this.

“G-guys? What’s going
on?” Armin asked a little too quietly.

“Get down here so I can
kill you, shit face!”

“Why the hell would I
do that?! I’m staying up here until you calm the hell down!”

“Hey guys?” he spoke up
this time.

“Calm down you say? Do
I look upset to you? I only want to cut off a few limbs, dumb shit. Maybe your
head.”

“Someone want to tell
me what’s going on?” the blonde tried to put more urgency in the words.

“What the hell were you
even carrying tea for, you dumb fuck?!”

“It was for you god
dammit!”

“Do I look like I need
your shitty tea?”

“Guys! Will you just
shut up for one second and tell me what the hell you’re yelling about?!”

As the rabble quieted,
Armin realized it was because he had been screaming. His cheeks flushed—he
tried to keep his composure when he could, but when he lost it people tended to
look at him weirdly. He cleared his throat, as if inciting their responses.

Levi sent one last
sharp stare toward Eren before sheathing his blade. He turned to face the small
blonde, crossing his arms and glaring at him like why’d you have to come ruin my fun, you shit?

“Eren spilled his
shitty tea all over my papers. Any other questions?” he said neutrally.

“It was an accident!”
Eren cried from the tree.

Levi shot him such a
pointed glare that the teen visibly flinched, gripping tighter to the bark of
the tree.

Armin blinked in
confusion. “You’re chasing him down, blades drawn, because he spilled his cup
of tea?”

Levi’s eyes narrowed,
“You got a problem with that, Arlert?” His hand traveled back down to the
swords at his side.

Armin gulped.

“W-well I mean…He said
it was an accident. And besides, spilled tea shouldn’t have caused any
permanent damage to the papers—maybe some stains and a little crinkling but if
let out to dry they’d be fine. In fact, the ink would’ve only smeared if
someone had tried to wipe away the mess…”

The Corporal’s hand gripped
the hilt of his blade, “Just what are you trying to say, brat?”

That had been the wrong
thing to say. Levi’s sword was drawn with undo speed and pointed at the
blonde’s neck. The Corporal’s disinterested gaze had once again filled with
fire. Armin raised his arms on immediate instinct. He grimaced slightly, but
stayed his ground.

“I’d watch that mouth
of yours, cadet. That is…unless you’d like a taste of my steel as well?” His
brow lowered treacherously. A slim finger ran down the blade’s flat, calling
attention to its razor sharp edge.

Eren shifted uncomfortably
in the tree, “Armin you might want to run now.”

Intelligent blue eyes
fell upon the Corporal; they were filled with an odd determination despite
there being a blade drawn at their owner. “Of course, the initial incident was
obviously Eren’s fault.”

The latter gave an
indignant squawk, “Hey! I—”

Armin shot him a look
and the brunette quickly shut his trap. Armin returned his attention to the one
before him.

He took a breath before
continuing, “And despite his guilt in said incident, it seems that it was just
an accident—and one out of kindness at that, I mean, he said the tea he brought
was for you, so isn’t it a little extreme to run after him with the intent to
kill?”

The Corporal’s entire
face distorted in disgust. Armin could see the answer written plainly there:
No, not extreme in the least. Levi’s blade didn’t budge.

“Ya’ know…maybe you
should take Eren’s advice, huh Arlert?” Lance Corporal Levi examined the long
edge of his sword with new found interest.

Armin began spewing out
his logic again when Levi’s boot inched forward, “W-wait! Eren may be an idiot,
but really there’s just no sense in harming him!” Seeing those fiery eyes again
he added, “Or me.”

Levi scoffed, “Tch!
Well what do you want me to do then? Let you little shits get away with
whatever the hell you please? Hold hands and skip into the sunset with Eren
McShitface, the brat who destroyed my vital documents?”

“Excuse me?!” Eren
really wasn’t helping Armin’s case. Levi’s head snapped back to look at the
tree-bound teen with such vigor it was a miracle his neck didn’t snap.

“No, sir! I’m just
saying there are other ways to punish him…ways that won’t cause any strife to
the army should battle break out.” Armin was starting to worry his argument was
all in vain. At this rate, the Corporal would have them both disfigured by
dinnertime.

Levi reluctantly
lowered his sword—a great relief to the one whose neck it was aimed at. He
didn’t quite sheath it, but having its point away from a throat was progress enough.
Levi sighed, blatantly fed up, “Your logic is starting to get on my nerves,
brat. Just what the hell kind of punishment are you suggesting?”

That was good. It
seemed the Corporal could understand logical reasoning after all. Armin piqued
at the cooperation he was finally receiving. He racked his brain, What kind of punishment would the Corporal
find satisfying? Eren looked incredulously down on the situation.

“I’m waiting,” Levi demanded.

“Well, of course his
cleaning sucks…so that’s not an option…” Armin began to speak his thought
process.

Eren was opening his
mouth to protest but decided against it. He’d leave this to the one with actual
negotiation skills.

“But some kind of
difficult labor…something that must be done often—like taking care of the
horses in the stables.”

“That’s not good
enough. He does that normally. I’d rather pare his flesh.” Levi had put away
his blade, his arms now crossed.

Eren watched helplessly
as they discussed his fate.

“Right, but he normally
has help, no? Stable work is usually done by multiple hands along with shift
changes. You could make him do it all alone.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. That way he has
to work long and hard, sun up to sun down, with time only to eat, sleep, and
train a bit.”

“ARMIN!” Eren didn’t
approve of this plan, but no one really paid him any attention.

“I see…but what if he
just does the shitty half-assed job he does with everything else, eh?”

Eren buried his face in
his palms. What did I do to myself? I should’ve only made tea for myself…

“Well, he wouldn’t be
distracted by his comrades like usual. He’d be forced to focus on the job at
hand. And on top of that, you could threaten to beat him if he does a bad
job—that way he’d be scared into working harder, or you can give him the
beating he deserves if he doesn’t.”

“I thought the point
was to get him to not beat me…” Eren grumbled. Again, no one was listening.

It was quiet as
Corporal Levi considered his options. Eren was willing to take the beating at
this point.

“Alright, Arlert. I
won’t kill him.”

Armin breathed a sigh
of relief.

Levi glared up to Eren,
still perched up high in the tree, “Get down here, shit face. You’ve got work
to do.”

The Corporal turned
heel and began to walk back in. Armin stepped forward to help Eren down when
Levi stopped him. He pressed his shoulder almost painfully into Armin’s, and
leaned in to whisper in his ear, “Watch that damn mouth of yours, Arlert. I’m
not afraid to slice you up.”

Levi walked casually
into the building. Armin was frozen in place; Did I just make a huge mistake? His thoughts were broken by the
sound of Eren falling out of the tree. He rushed over his friend and lent him a
hand. Eren refused to take it, still salty from Armin’s betrayal.

“Thanks a lot, Armin,”
he said bitterly.

“At least you’re not
dead,” Armin retorted, optimistically.

The two reentered in
silence. Though Eren would never admit it out loud, he was really thankful to
Armin for what he had done. After all, Corporal Levi was humanity’s strongest,
and boy did his kicks reflect that.

“Levi, how goes that
paperwork I asked you do?”

Corporal Levi turned to
face Commander Erwin. His anger was dredging up again, but he suppressed it as
he spoke, maintaining a calm and impartial demeanor, “Shitty.”

The Commander seemed
slightly surprised by the answer, quirking an eyebrow but waiting for Levi to
explain.

“Eren spilled his tea
and ruined it.”

His arms went back to
cross across his chest. Just remembering the incident made Levi’s blood boil. I should have killed him, he thought
callously.

“I see. Well that’s
fine.” Levi looked to the Commander in mild horror. It’s okay? Erwin
motioned to the papers in his hand—Levi hadn’t even noticed them. “I have
another copy. I just wanted to get your opinion on the matter.”

Something akin to
embarrassment crossed the Corporal’s face, but as soon as it was there it was
gone. Shit. Maybe he had overreacted
then…did that mean he had to take back Eren’s punishment? No, that would be
downright degrading—the brat would never shut up about it. He’d let that detail
slide by unnoticed.

“Levi?” the Commander
prodded.

“I’ll take a look at
them right now.”

He snatched the
paperwork from Commander Erwin’s hands and proceeded to stomp to his office.
Along with the other, intact cup of tea Eren had brought, the shattered remains
from earlier were still scattered across his desk. Levi gently swept the broken
shards into the waste basket and sopped up the rest of the tea with a rag. When
the area was once again neat, he sat down in his chair to read the papers in
his hand. The other teacup sat there sadly. Levi eyed it for a bit. Well it’s mine, anyway. He picked up the
cup and sipped its contents. The tea was still warm. It was perfectly bitter,
with just the right amount of sweet.

Refocusing on his
papers, Corporal Levi mumbled to himself, “Damn, Eren. You’re going to have to
make me tea more often.”

Write a Review
Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks,
AriaofYlisse

ianwatson:
The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...

summerstone:
Seriously this is one of the best books I've ever read. The plot is intriguing, I love the narrative style. Its very descriptive and unique, with minimal cliches. It makes for a great read and the sequels are amazing. Totally worth reading. ^^ That's me trying to be professional. But in all hones...

Ben Gauger:
Kudos go to Liz Aguilar, author of To Have And to Hold a fast-paced, gripping, adrenaline rush from start to finish, one of perhaps the finest pieces of writing I've ever read, in particular because of its' telenovela-like feel, May she continually find success as an author. Bravo my dear, bravo!

Rebeccaseal:
This was an almost perfect story that I would recommend to anyone. The only thing I would work on is painting a more realistic picture of Haiathiel. Somehow the environment seemed limited, and the land itself a bit unfinished. This can be solved simply by added descriptions to people and places. ...

Ruby0h:
Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

Carolyn Hahn-Re:
I really liked this story! The writing was well done, and the plot was suspenseful. I couldn't stop reading chapter after chapter, on the edge of my seat! The characters were well developed, and true to form. Thank you so much for this wonderful read.

:
This is my first book reading on here and I absolutely loved it! If you like a book that'll keep you up late at night then this is your go to. What makes this novel so special is that it shows that even if your not blood related some people would put your needs before there's.

Sandra Estrada:
I loved every minute of it and I thank my lucky stars that brought me to the story, it's been a whirlwind of emotions, plot twist after plot twist but I never got tired of them. Abby and Kade's story is a hard one to understand but once you're submerged in their story and love, you can't help but...

ernbelle:
When I first started this story I was a little unsettled by all of the information that appears in the prologue, and wasn't sure if I would continue. However, I am very glad I did. The plot was very well thought out and really interesting. There were not any page breaks or markers to acknowledge ...

Jessie:
I wrote a review on fanfiction but I thought it would be fitting to write on on here too :) This story was honestly stunning. I am a budding writer myself and to read this- to FEEL this- reminded me of why I am honoured to have this passion and drive for a craft that is just so raw and beautiful.

Jasmine Chow:
As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...