This is my neighbor whom has no family in the U S widowed and a Veteran of the US Navy retired and is lucid and lives alone, we all look out for her and take her to the store, doctors or whatever she needs since she can no longer drive. She walks everyday in the neighborhood. Someone called adult protective services and they have been checking on her. Yesterday the State had her taken to a for profit nursing home and when I called about visitation I had to clear it with the Administrator, why? She has done nothing wrong. She did not want to go there or move to a retirement facility as of yet. She is semi wealthy and should be able to chose her on place to reside. Please help me help her

5 Answers

There might have been a family member working behind the scenes, that you weren't privy to.

Being that this person wasn't your family member, it might be in her best interest, to be someplace where she can get the help she needs. Unfortunately, you do care, but aren't in a legal place to help her. If you honestly wish to remain heavily involved in her care, and she is of sound mind, to permit you to become her legal financial and Healthcare Proxy, you may still be able to be there for her and help her to manage her Healthcare and lifestyle, but this would be a Very Big Job, that you would need to think very seriously about doing!

Do you know of any family members, that you can speak to about this, otherwise, your hands may be tied.

Hopefully, you will be able to visit her, and continue to be a helpful friend to her.

If a perfectly sane and rational individual is taken hostage by the State then they need a lawyer to act on their behalf. She should have an advocate in any case at any competency/guardianship hearing.

APS doesn't swoop down and force perfectly healthy seniors into nursing homes, and nursing homes only accept those who need medically their level of care, in fact there are many stories on this site from people who lament that APS won't step in early enough to help where there seems to be a clear need! There was something happening behind the scenes with this lady that you are not privy to, possibly a level of dementia which has caused her to behave recklessly with her finances or to be non compliant with her medications or some other issue that made her unable to remain safely on her own. You can help her best by being her friend and continuing to visit.

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