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Come into my parlour

It’s not often that I see a little ray of hope in this Godforsaken country of ours.

For too long, the Nanny State has been encroaching on our daily lives. We are surrounded by petty rules and regulations to ensure that no one gets hurt. God forbid that anyone should scrape a knee or fall off something.

Probably the worst of these is the rights of a criminal. How insane is it that a burglar can sue me if he hurts himself while robbing my house?

I have a very simple philosophy. If someone enters my property uninvited he or she does so on the understanding that they are entering my world: my rules. Now at long last, the Irish Law Reform Commission are seeing things my way. They are to allow ‘lethal force’ against intruders.

For too long now, I have been forced to quietly dispose of intruders. I have had to make midnight runs to the landfill which just isn’t right at my age. Now that I can legally use lethal force, it removes a tremendous burden from my shoulders as I can now carry on my business unhindered.

Of course, I need to make plain my definition of “intruder”, lest there be any misunderstanding.

I have to say i agree with this new rule of how you say getting rid of robbers that may enter your property. Unforturnly a few years back i was robbed and my poor mum nearly got mugged in her own home. So i would welcome this new thing of taken force if a robber comes into your home. Now shep has dug a few holes in the garden just iin case something kicks off. hee hee hee now rubbing hands together and laughing away with my evil laugh. I have to say i love your blog its one of the many highlights of my day.

Vicky – My advice is never to bury bodies in the back garden. It can be a bit tricky explaining the smell to the neighbours after a warm summer. Landfill is much better. And thanks for that last line. It made my day.

JD – Bring the vest. Just in case. Bows and arrows are for when I’m in a sporty mood, and I’m not in those much these days.

Hey Grandad- don’t worry about the CIA. They were set up out of the remnants of WWII OSS by Executive Order which has never been ratified by Congress.

Which technically makes it the worlds largest illegal organisation with car-parking spaces. One of ’em tried to tell me he was a history teacher when I bumped into him in a small Latin American republic.

Chinos. Military haircut. Nice shiny four-by-four he was driving in a shitkicker border town. Might as well have had a tee-shirt with ‘I’m From Langley and I’m Here To Help You’ on it.

Stupid fucker. Then again we are talking about an organisation which proposed dropping paras behind enemy lines in Norway in WWII to help disrupt the enemy supply routes etc. It was only when they were issued with Arctic camouflage gear that the two black guys in the unit thought they should mention an obvious problem . ….

Cap’n – I’m not worried about the CIA. They have been reading my outpourings since the Dubya days. They keep commenting that they are watching me/monitoring me/bugging me but I just ignore them. Shower of tossers.