WHILE THERE IS STILL TIME

At 73 and 69, my spouse and I are making some major life choices. If you have kept up with us the past few weeks you know that we have made a major cross country move. We sold our dream house of 15 years, packed up and made a trek of over a thousand miles with my 92 year old mother and 3 precious pets.

The house we have moved into is pleasant, and half again the size of the one we left. Trying to stuff ten pounds into a five pound bag becomes something of a challenge. We brought more than we have room for more and that will require other choices. It is time. We have agreed that age will always get the upper hand, but we still have the hutzpah to challenge time and try to win a few more of the games life offers.

While there is still time, we wanted to have some of that precious commodity with my delightful mother. She is frail, experiencing many of the physical impairments of being over 90. We invited her to move with us, vacating a skilled nursing center where she had lived for one year and before that assisted care for six years. She is now in our care and Sharon is doing a masterful job seeing to her needs. We might have found another care facility, but we chose to have her with us. It is turning out to be a day by day return on the investment. Her disposition is wonderful. Our spirits soar at having her loving and caring spirit around.

Living at Home vs Nursing Home Care

There are both small and large things requiring our attention. Her walker is too wide to enter the bathroom. So we went out yesterday and found a smaller walker that goes through the 22 inch door. Snazzy red no less! And she requires a transfer shower chair. So we found that as well. We put both durable medical equipment pieces together in minutes, and she enjoyed her first shower in several days in her bathroom that she can now enter with her new red walker. There are many issues which we were unaware of while she was in the keeping of others. There are slight adjustments and occasional demands but nothing of major consequence. Learning how to have a two generational experience and receiving the benefits of it turns out to be a gift. Most things are gifts in life if we take the time to allow them to occur. Most experiences with others end up being a blessing and a learning and an enriching undertaking.

Whatever daily minutiae occurs is just the happening of living and the joy of giving to one another love and gratitude. The hard stuff is really easy. The easy stuff is really a snap. Caring is one of the gifts of aging that we have been taught by others who cared for us. Reciprocating out of a deep devotion that comes from having been so well cared for in our own lives is a deep down way of acting out love.