Monday, January 04, 2010

The Apocalypse Association, a non-profit organization promoting calamities and disasters, has filed a lawsuit against the Mayan civilization, after the disasters predicted by the ancient South American people failed to occur.

"I'm disappointed that millions of people didn't die.", said Michelle Neifer, spokesperson for the AA, "Someone must be held responsible".

Indeed, December 21 turned out to be the most uneventful day in decades. The climate worldwide was pleasant, no assasinations or high-profile murders took place, and only 7000 people died in Iraq, which is way below the average.

Not the first failed prediction

This is not the first time a disaster prediction has fallen flat. Nostradamus predicted that the world would end in 1999, but nothing much happened. Computers were predicted to kill everyone due to the Y2K bug, but that turned out to be a hoax perpetrated by COBOL programmers.

"I'm sick of these lies", says Jody Killdred. Jody killed his dog to spare him an agonizing death during the Y2K scare, which turned out to be nothing. "But this time, I didn't even send my daughter to bed.", he added.

2102 not 2012

Dr Brian Juntilope, of the Canadian Mayan Institute, claims that we have had it wrong all this while. "You see, the Mayans write their years from right-to-left. So the disasters will happen, but in 2102".

While Dr Juntilope may be right, few people from the AA are willing to wait that long. "What's the point if it happens in 2102? I'll be dead by then", exclaimed Michelle.

Sequel to 2012

Unfazed by the lack of catastrophes, Roland Emmerlich, the director of the successful movie 2012, is already planning a sequel to the movie. Titled 2038, the movie is about how the world is destroyed by UNIX computers suffering from the Year 2038 Problem. The movie is set to hit theatres in 2014.

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