Think again sir - if you left your phone off the hook, all callers would hear the engaged tone! I think you just keep coming back here to practise writing outlandish dialect as bad as like wot I did! Hehehe!

Penny . . There are plenty of differences in the "attitude" of the two speakers. And the respective ways they use English separates them very effectively. So I don't think you need to reproduce the vile local accent and slovenly speech. I find it becomes somewhat tedious to read. Geddit dahlin' Dunno warit's like in 'Avant, burrup ere we 'ave real dulcet tones and we take a lo'a trouble bou' owee speak, innit?

But I had to write it so I could read it aloud in the accent I wanted! That's not quite the same thing as writing it for other people to read - I only posted it here as a bit of fun, so I fully understand you point of view, O learned Doctor. :)