Thursday, October 17, 2013

Jean-Robert uses food to battle SIDS, remember daughter

Inspired Cincinnati is The Enquirer's project on people who are working to make this a better place for all of us. They work in the arts, community service, their own businesses. They all believe you can create something new, exciting and fresh in Cincinnati.

Annette Pfund de Cavel and her husband, Jean-Robert de Cavel lost their daughter, Tatiana, at 3 1/2 months, of SIDS, and have spent the past decade raising money for SIDS awareness through fundraising events. / The Enquirer/Gary Landers

SIDS Awareness

The American Academy of Pediatricians has advice for creating a safe sleep environment for infants. • Put your baby to sleep on his back for every sleep.

• Put your baby to sleep on a firm surface.

• Keep soft objects, loose bedding or objects that could increase the risk of entrapment, suffocation or strangulation out of the crib. • Put your baby to sleep in the same room where you sleep but not the same bed. • Breastfeed as much and for as long as you can. • Schedule and go to all well-child visits. • Keep your baby away from smokers and places where people smoke. • Do not let your baby get too hot. • Offer a pacifier at nap time and bedtime.

Eat, Play, Give

The de Cavel Family SIDS Foundation brunch will be held Sunday from 11:30 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Midwest Culinary Institute, 3520 Central Parkway, Cincinnati, OH 45223. The purpose is to raise funds for research, education and outreach as well as for the Tatiana de Cavel Scholarship at the Midwest Culinary Institute at Cincinnati State. Tickets, in advance, are $65 for adults, children ages 5-12 are $20. Younger children are free. To learn more, go to www.eatplaygive.net or call 513-871-7742.

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Tatiana de Cavel died on a June day in 2002. Not yet four months old, she went down for a nap and never woke up, stolen by Sudden Infant Death Syndrome on a warm afternoon.

It has been more than 11 years now, and Tatiana’s father, Jean-Robert de Cavel, still cannot speak of her without crying. Tatiana’s mother, Annette Pfund-de Cavel is more stoic, her pain made transparent by her clear efforts to hold on to her emotions.

“It was too hard to believe,” Jean-Robert said of the loss. “Everything was good. Everything was healthy. Then, that day, at 4 in the afternoon, she was not part of us anymore.”

But as if out of respect for their child, the de Cavel’s have not allowed their grief to define them. Instead, they have worked to attach some good to the nearly incomprehensible loss.

They decided they would help others. They would raise money for SIDS research. They would buy safe cribs for people who could not afford them. And they would be available to other families who have lost children.

And they would do it through food, which is their passion, and friendship, which sustained them during their worst days.

Sunday, the couple will host the 10th annual de Cavel Family SIDS Foundation brunch. To date, the foundation has raised $700,000 for SIDS research, education and outreach. The money has also helped fund the Tatiana de Cavel Scholarship at the Midwest Culinary Institute at Cincinnati State.

“The end goal, of course, will be to eradicate SIDS, which we might never achieve,” Annette said. “In a way, (the fundraiser) makes us feel good about what we do and remember her.”

Jean-Robert is a renowned restaurateur, the chef and owner of both Jean-Robert’s Table and the French Crust Cafe. So many local chefs have started in his kitchens that it would be difficult to overstate his impact on the local food community. Annette is the catering account executive at the Hilton Cincinnati Netherland Plaza.

So it is no surprise that it was food people who supported the de Cavels after their loss, and it is the food community who continues to help raise money for SIDS.

Sunday’s brunch will be a who’s who of chefs and restaurants. Tickets are $65 for adults and $20 for children in advance, but the cause is good and the food should be amazing. Senate will be there, and Metropole, Oriental Wok, Orchids, La Poste and many others.

They all volunteered to help because through the de Cavels they know what SIDS can do.

SIDS remains something of a mystery. Even today, it is defined by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention more for what it is not. The CDC calls it the “sudden death of an infant less than 1 year of age that cannot be explained after a thorough investigation is conducted, including a complete autopsy, examination of the death scene and review of the clinical history.”

According to the CDC, 2,063 children died from SIDS in 2010. The de Cavels know how devastating each of those deaths can be. They know how important it is to spend time with family, which is why when they envisioned a fundraiser, they thought of a brunch and wanted children to be there.

“Sunday morning is one time restaurant people can spend with their families,” Annette said.

“In the 10 years we have been doing this, the chefs have grown older,” Jean-Robert said. “Now they have children of their own. This has always been about children.”

Specifically, this event has been about Tatiana. She was a part of the de Cavels lives for just over 100 days. On the morning of her last day, a friend of Jean-Robert visited him to show him a sink he was building for a de Cavel restaurant which was about to open.

Jean-Robert was sitting on his back porch, holding his baby. The friend said the image was so beautiful, he wanted to take a photograph. And he did.

The image is jarring for its simplicity and joy. Jean-Robert is smiling. His family is just beginning, his restaurant is about to open. Tatiana is a shock of dark hair and chubby cheeks. She is leaning against her father.

“It was such a beautiful morning. We had coffee on the deck,” Jean-Robert said. “I tried to spend every morning with her. Those days were all we had of her.”

The foundation helped the de Cavels find purpose. Their friends helped them make it through days. And then joy came to them again.

One of the children attending the de Cavel Family SIDS Foundation event will be the family’s second daughter, Laeticia. She is 9 years old and a source of endless happiness.

“She is an angel,” Jean-Robert said, crying again. “When we look at Laeticia, we feel like we don’t have the right to complain.”