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Intern and MindFuck : Part I

Disclaimer: This blog is
a compilation of accounts by different students and should not be confused as
authors’ personal experiences. Any resemblance of undermentioned accounts with
authors’ personal lives is just a matter of co-incidence. This blog shall not
prohibit any potential recruiter from offering us an intern.

Self-realization often generates strange emotions, especially when it involves
the acknowledgement that you are not good enough. What can anyone do about it
except going off to bed and trying to erase that part of memory?

Internship is an integral part of your learning. It must be, after all,everyone is dying to find one. This blog is not about "how
internships are important for your career?" It is certainly not going
to help you in anyway, whatsoever, in landing up with an intern. The internet
is crammed up with blogs of that kind whereIntern Guruspour theirgyan(which often seem fruitless). On the contrary, this blog is the first of
a series of blogs based on accounts of many brave undergrads who embark upon
this tiresome quest of searching for ameaningful intern in a
nation plagued with unemployment. Sole intention of the authors is to entertain
you. We don’t possess any information on how to get an intern and even if we
get such information we have no plans of sharing it with the readers as we
are still looking for an intern ourselves.

Intern, Intern everywhere not an offer for me

Screw Stipend, Screw Acco, I can work for free.

Part I : Cover Letter Cosmos

The cover letter is a letter which covers all the
shortcomings of the writer and allegedly possesses a unique ability of
transforming a Pentium (undergrad) into an i7 (Multi-tasking genius).

Obliged, assure, experience, explore,satisfyare a few terms (often used in while depicting a particular action ;-)) whose conspicuous arrangement and
ubiquitous presence distinguishes this piece of literary masterpiece that every
undergrad prepares at least once (no one is so lucky to use it just once) in
his college life, in hope of impressing an imbecile alien unaware of college
realities. This piece of writing is popularly called a cover letter which is often a best seller as it gets to the mailbox of several unaware readers.

A cover letter often starts with a sheer betrayal of your core
stream viz. I, XYZ , am enrolled in 4 year B.Tech program at ________. However,
I have developed a keen interest in F. F here refers to a subject which at
times is not even remotely associated with XYZ's curriculum ranging from journalism,
law to any unknown stream the undergrad might have heard of (or stumbled
upon while surfing the net idly when he couldn't find a chick online).

Although, they are aimed to achieve similar
results, cover letters can be categorized into 4 major types on the basis of
writing style, demands and offerings which is governed by the level of
enthusiasm, anticipation and frustration of the candidate.

1.GREEDY STYLE

Often used by the amateur in this battle where the demands in the application
overwhelm the offerings by the candidate. Such letters are written by the newcomer while he is dreaming of an iPhone and can be distinguished by the phrases like a monthly
stipend of Rs10000/-, provision for accommodation.

2.MACHO STYLE

Soon the newbie gets versed with the arena as his emails fail to draw any
attention and he goes through massive makeover (rather his cover letter does)
and HOTSHOT is born. Now this self-styled genius possesses unique skills in
complicated subjects, hitherto, unknown to him and is willing to work for next
to nothing.

3.THE PRO STYLE

Baffled and frustrated by his failure in spite of projecting himself a
superman, he finally attends a workshop that imparts some skills and lots of
hope in his lost soul. This newly evolved PRO can easily spot his mistakes
as he, no sorry, his cover letter becomes a letter of intent with subtle changes, made at several locations. Brimming with hope he clicks on SEND TO ALL
and the hope soon departs as he receives REPLIES FROM NONE.

4.NEEDY
STYLE

Despair follows frustration, request becomes plea and enlightened by the plight
of journey, the warrior converts into sage seeking knowledge. Undergrad quits
all the demands and transforms into a dedicated slave who is put to purpose of
learning all that is unknown to him by some greater powers. He pleads for an
opportunity to learn;I don't bother
about any stipend sir, I am just looking for an enriching experienceoften mark as the dying wail of this selfless scholar chasing a precious
wealth of knowledge.

The above are the
styles of cover letter imposed upon by the circumstances but some brave souls
prefer to be driven by choice rather than force. They are inspired by the
elements in their social lives and for an average undergrad unread books,
meaningful bakwaas and overly revised movies are more or less the social
ambiance. Undermentioned styles can be attributed to these inspirations:

GODFATHER STYLE:

'Nothing can beat a classic' , if you agree with this statement you won't
find the use of a classic's dialogue in your cover letter too precarious
or flamboyant, especially when the dialogue is considered to be a masterpiece in
the Art of Persuasion. " I'll make you an offer you can't refuse. I am
willing to work _______________ for late hours as well."

CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) STYLE:

Well where did he came across the word 'CSR' he can't recollect, may be
in some book or some bakar. Only thing he can say for sure about is, it wasn't in a lecture: He has never heard anything in lecture and moreover,in lectures, they don't
tell anything you can put to use. "Everyone needs a fine
executive, no one contributes to create one." or "When someone
is willing to learn its responsibility of a corporate to help him in doing
so" were the lines he used to generate a sense of social
responsibility.

Finally, with a hope that you would follow all the above styles and create new ones as well, so that you can have similar troubles in finding an intern as we are having, we would like to conclude with a promise of coming back soon with similar experiences.

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