If you can keep your sanity and Twitter anger low, As others as losing theirs and blaming In The Knows; If you can trust John Cross when rival fans doubt you, But make allowance for your doubting of OpinionDan too; If you can wait for Ozil on SkySports and not be tired by waiting, Articles of Michu in the Mail, don’t deal in lies; Or being bated, don’t give way to Durham’s Baiting, It doesn’t make him look good, nor does he talk too wise.

If you dream & don’t discard articles on Suarez down the bin, If you don’t tire on Jovetic memes that are simply lame; If you can reads stories by IndyKalia and AgentJim, And threat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth GeoffArsenal’s spoken, Of a £40m and 1 pounds bid that makes us look like fools; Knowing we’re buggered if Giroud pulls up, broken, Worried about our lack of goal scoring tools.

If you can stomach a Q&A with Gazidis being mean, Talking about selling off the utter dross;So he can start again, bringing in Higuain, And never breathe a word about Squillaci’s loss; If you didn’t tweet WengerOut after the Villa game, Not thinking it may have been a season-ticket con;Worried they’ve spent mad cash up at White Hart Lane, & Podolski in defence didn’t make you think “Hold on.” If you can Tweet with AKBs and WOBs and keep your virtue, Or be retweeted by Arsenal and not lose the common touch; If neither audacious stunts or failed bids hurt you, And talk of Lars Bender doesn’t get you carried away too much. If you can hit refresh F5 every second minute, Up until the second deadline day is done; Yours is the Emirates and everything that’s in it, And – which is more – you’’ll be an Arsenal fan, my son!