Doc Love: Reasons For Rejection

When you left Fernanda with her parents, there may have been no problems between the two of you in your mind, but what about hers? In her mind, you two might have been having all kinds of problems. You’re just telling me what you think was going on, which might very well be far from the reality of the situation.

a text doesn't cut it

You shouldn’t have merely texted Fernanda when her grandmother died. When somebody passes away, pick the phone up and call. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says: “Texting is kind of cold. I got a friendlier message from my draft board.”

I know you’re bent out of shape ove getting the boot by phone, but there is no good way to end a relationship. What did you want Fernanda to do, have a two-hour sit-down dinner to announce the end and tell you what a great guy you are? When you’re the dumpee, you get the ax however the dumper wants to give you the ax. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says: “Ask the people of Cleveland how it felt when LeBron James dumped them on national TV.”

Dude, you felt bad when you broke up with your ex because you left too soon. Had you gone with her longer, you would have built up lots of resentment and you wouldn’t have cared how you got rid of her. But what kills me is that Fernanda cried when she had low Interest Level in you. My friend, you’re the one who should be crying!

travel trouble

When Fernanda claimed that you two were having lots of arguments when you traveled together, that was the key to what went down. You were lowering her Interest Level by fighting with her. Any time you go on a trip with a woman, especially when you’re with her for 14 straight days, it’s really hard to be perfect. And what happened here was that when her grandmother passed away, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. That was when her Interest Level dropped from 51% to 49%. To you Psych majors: You have to really own a woman when you travel with her, because you’re together all the time and there’s nowhere to hide.

You might have not been bothered by the arguments you and Fernanda were having on your trip, but they sure as heck were bothering her! Guys, the principle is simple: Arguing lowers Interest Level. And Fernanda’s not hiding anything, pal. Don’t try to blame what happened with her on someone else. You lowered her Interest Level on the trip by arguing with her. And then you didn’t call her when her grandmother died, when you should have called her every day for at least three or four days running to see how she was doing and showed her that you had feelings. Instead, you just texted her and then called her too late. Very cold.

reason for rejection

In the end, your insensitivity was Fernanda’s excuse to reject you — and it was a valid one in her mind. You might have thought that her Interest Level was solidly in the 80s, but since you don’t have “The System,” you don’t really know for sure that it was that high. But the main point is this: No matter where her Interest Level was, it went south during the trip because of all the bickering. Those fights drove her Interest Level from 80% to 51%. When her grandmother passed away, it dipped from 51% to 49%. Then there was no turning back, and that’s when you got your walking papers.

Remember, guys: When you take a trip with a woman, you better make sure her Interest Level is 100%.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at DocLove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women: “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”