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Sunday, June 19, 2011

I had a meltdown at the doctor's office last week. I gained 6 pounds since my appointment 2 weeks prior. 6 pounds. I weighed the exact same as I did with Beatrice at 30 weeks. Which means that I am on track to gain as much as I did with her. Which also means that I failed at my goal to not gain as much as I did with her. Which ultimately means that I am a failure. At least that's how I felt on the scales that day. Sigh. The meltdown had more to do with the stresses going on in our life with the move and less to do with the weight gain, but once I started crying I couldn't stop. It ended up being just what I needed because I feel much better. 6 extra pounds and all.

Stats

Weight gain: 30 lbs. I may stop posting this portion until the end because although I think I have come to terms that this is how my body handles pregnancy, it still makes me super insecure when other women gain much less.Stretch marks: Just one, lone stretchie on my rib.Movement: Tons, constantly. She is wild. I love it. Except when her feet get stuck under my rib cage. That really hurts. Maybe that's where that stretch mark came from....Cravings: Lemons again. And ice. Iced water with half a lemon squeezed in is the best treat ever. Also, I'm phasing out the popsicles and trying to work in some Italian ice, lemon preferably.Sleep: Really bad. I can only breathe on my left side, but I don't feel like I have to pee as bad on my right side. I spend a good portion of the night flip-flopping so I don't suffocate or wet the bed.Best moment this week: Receiving a lot of support from my doctor, friends, and family after my big little meltdown. I really needed that, friends. Thanks.Gender: Sweet, sweet girl.Labor signs: No actual signs, but I do feel like I'm about to have a baby any day now. I asked my doctor about all of the pelvic pain I have been having and she says it's normal for 2nd (and 3rd and 4th...) pregnancies. Basically, your first pregnancy paves the way for your body to birth all of your subsequent babies. The muscles and ligaments in the baby making region are much more relaxed after the 1st one so the pain/discomfort is more prominent for additional pregnancies. Michelle Duggar, how do you do it? What I miss: Cute clothes.What I'm looking forward to: Getting rid of this baby weight.Weekly wisdom: Every trial or struggle is only a season and it shall pass.Milestones: My belly button has popped and I have an outie.

I had hopes of not gaining as much this time either. Last month...I gained 10 pounds. Yes. TEN. Which, yes, I kind of 'needed' to gain by this point, but it still REALLY sucks to see that number go up so much, so I can definitely relate! There is so much wonder in the process of growing a human, but it is so emotionally hard sometimes. You look great, I hope you start to feel like you do soon!

I am 34 weeks today and stopped looking at the scale after my meltdown a couple of weeks ago. Baby is healthy and happy, so I decided it didn't matter how much I gained. Nice thing to say, and I'm trying hard to think it ;)Btw, my friend directed me to your blog for your cloth diaper post and I've been following you since. Hope your move and everything go well - we'll be praying for you!

Oh, Aly, I am right there with you! After gaining 44 lbs with my first (and I was only 105 to start so imagine that picture...not pretty) I vowed not to gain as much this time. Unfortunately, that doesn't look promising. I am hoping to not outgain now;-)You do look radiant and just remember you lost it all last time basically sitting on your butt and nursing. This time, you will be nursing AND chasing after a toddler. WIN!