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Battlefield 3 2013 League Review

Two to the Zero to the one to the three that was the year for BF3. Fuck Nursery rhymes, fuck BF3 and fuck 2013! In fact let me add in a few more fucks just so you get used to it because this word is littered all over this review and the feelings the Baggers (grrr Squad) had for this year’s competitive league. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

Firstly some background for you cave dwellers who don’t know shit. The DoGaming BF3 league started in 2012, the Baggers entered and despite some very tough competition we managed to climb up the ladder throughout the year and eventually found ourselves being invited to the DoGaming Championships held at rAge in October 2012. This was our aim and we achieved it. Yay Winners!

It however took its toll and when the 2013 league rolled around the players were not as enthusiastic as before. We also found ourselves in the Premier league where the competition was a lot tougher and required extra work just to keep your head above water. But did this fucking happen? No it did not, it did not happen, in fact the opposite happened. Throughout the year core and senior players left the team because of real life issues and/or just a loss of enthusiasm.

The result was a massive decline in performance which resulted in fighting and general unhappiness in the team. So we thought to ourselves well let’s get relegated and we can rebuild our team from scratch in an easier division. But did this fucking happen? No it did not, it did not happen. For some unknown reason the Battlefield gods decided that no matter how badly we played, how few pracs we had or whether or not we even had enough players for a match we would wallow in the cesspool bottom of the Premier league.

If the Premier league was a prison our biggest expense would be anal lube due to the amount of times we got severely raped! It was bad, I have scars, I don’t want to talk about it. Not only did we have to endure season after season of ass pillage, we were also forced to play these god damn playoffs that just pissed me off. Dagnabit just put me in 1st division, I will kill you, I will eat your soul just fucking do it……. Holy fuck nuts this is making me insane!!!

But there is light at the end of the tunnel and that light is the end of the god damn fucking year! And when is that? It is now mother fuckers! The year has ended and Grand Bazaar and it’s innumerable base rapes can kiss my lily white ass! Never again will I have to “cuts” down some dick hole just so we can eliminate maps and end up playing yet another round of Grand go fuck yourself. Never again will I empty a clip (to no avail) into some shit house’s skull only for his teamie to 1 shot kill me with a god damn Magnum .44 from across the map. No more 10 rockets into an enemy APC just so he can butt fuck my engineers and slowly pound my face into the ground. No more watch out for the ”BOOOOOOOOOOOM” mine.

My life is going to be a bed of roses……..

……….until BF mother fucking 4 starts and we do this shit all over again. Mother fuck I love this GAME!!!!!!