Monthly Archives: March 2013

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Ouch. Bayern likes some Hamburgers, evidently with fries and a shake. I read somewhere that Bayern has kicked Hamburg’s ass more than any other side, but this biatch-slapping was ridiculous. “Tore am Fliessband“, a flood of goals, you might say.
Bayern was even resting some starters to prepare for Juventus in the Champions League, but some of their replacements got so tired of kicking HSV in the ass that eventually Thomas Müller and Franck Ribery came on anyway. Oldtimer Cluadio Pizarro got a rare start and figured he should pad his stats, so he banged in four goals and two assists. Yes, Bayern was in top-form and ruthless, but HSV should be ashamed that they played like this.

Stuttgart often stands up to Dortmund (last season’s memorable 4-4 fightback in Dortmund comes to mind), and this one was no exception. Both teams went strong for the win, with the Neons dominating the 1st half and grabbing gthe lead. However VfB fought back in the 2nd and squared the match. Things finally turned in Dortmund’s favor when Niedermeier ended with his 2nd yellow, and soon the Dortmund pressure became unbearable and Lewandowski decided the match. Additional happiness for Dortmund is that the win meant that Bayern wasn’t able to clinch the title in front of their home fans.

Schalke wasn’t overly impressive, and Hoffenheim was defending well. However the home side was clearly superior, and given the happless Hopper non-existant attack, it was only a matter of time. The Schalkers finally broke through and slapped the visitors silly.

Freiburg ended their mini slump with a solid win over Gladbach, moving ahead as both sides battle for Europe. Ironically, young-and-upcoming forward Max Kruse decided the match…and he’s rumoured to be signing with Gladbach. So it would be funny if his goals end up keeping him *out* of Europe next season. Overall, SCF were the better side, and Gladbach can’t have too many complaints.

Mainz got off to a dream start but then dicked around aimlessly too much. Bremen managed to get back into the match and deservedly get a point. For Werder, it may help stabilize their ship and keep them floating above potential relegation. Mainz missed a chance to strengthen their Euro credientials.

Fortuna Düsseldorf was a bit hard done by Leverkusen in the Rhein derby. The hosts were battling to an even level, despite the Aspirins technical and talent superiority. However at critical times they made mistakes, and Bayer ruthlessly exploited them, ending up with a rout. An unfair scoreline, but I think on the balance, it would be hard to argue that Fortuna deserved a point.

Augsburg missed a huge chance to gain ground against relegation. Hannover essentially let the Fuggers do whatever they wanted. The 96ers looked incompetent and relied on GK Zieler to keep them safe. However, FCA is pretty crap when it comes to the the “see ball, kick ball, kick ball into net” mantra. And they paid dearly for it as the 96ers countered and stole all the precious points.

Hertha and Braunschweig continue their unstoppable march to the Bundesliga. While it will just be a short absence for the Berliners, the Niedersachsen Lions – an original Bundesliga founder in 1963 – have been away from the top flight since 1985.

Braunschweig did have a tough time facing down Dresden. Dynamo is desperate at the bottom, and they came out fighting. They stunned their hosts with an early lead and refused to concede an inch, despite increasing Lions pressure. Eventually Eintracht did break through, and no surprise it was Dominik Kumbela with his 17th goal that provided the win. Perhaps Dresden is a bit hard done by, but their finishing was weak, and eventually that cost them.

Hertha had no real problems as they immediately jumped out against Bochum and then dicked around. Since Bochum was totally incompetent up front, it was no issue. The Berliners then repeated the same after the re-start, essentially finishing off the game and enjoying an extra 44 minutes of thinking about some Berliner Weisse-Kindl that they would be imbibing soon. Bochum was hapless and need improvement, as they could easily get relegated.

Cottbus weakened their argument for promotion as they were without “Energie” and couldn’t defeat Aalen at home. A boring match, and the home side finally took the lead late, only to get pegged back immediately. Cottbus seems on again, off again. I wouldn’t put it past them to be knocking on the Bundesliga door again, but obviously not this seasaon. Aalen has been surprisingly good and should be satisfied with staying up in their inaugural campaign. However, Energie probably should have won this match.

On the other hand, 1860 has quietly crept into striking range, although one would expect that they should start sucking again to insult their fans after raising some minimal hopes. They got a tough away win at a desperate Aue, and it’s not easy to win at Erzgebirge. But with some luck, they got the points. Like I said however, it remains to be seen if 1860 is serious about making a late run. Aue remains in trouble.

Unlike some of their rivals, Duisburg seems to be taking the relegation battle seriously. The Zebras have gotten over their “disappointment” of not challenging for promotion and seem to have got down to business of avoiding relegation. They put in a strong effort to get all the points at Ingolstadt, where it’s not easy to win. They’re not completely out of the woods, but MSV looks likely to stay. Ingolstadt is unpredicatble as usual.

In later matches, 1. FC Köln is now officially all the way back from the dead – it truly looked impossible a few months ago. A lot of the credit needs to go to coach Holger Stanislawski. Nevertheless, despite the usual huge fan support, the Kölners struggled to make headway against a stubborn Regensburg side, but a late goal allowed them to get the win – and leap over Kaiserslautern into the important 3rd place. The visitors were clearly inferior, but were pesky enough and almost got the point they were hoping for.

Kaiserslautern again failed to impress, and for the first time in ages they’ve fallen out of promotion. It’s pretty amazing how they’ve just wittered away after a good season start. FCK dominated against a stubborn Sandhausen side, but failed to make much headway after taking the lead. SVS kept things close and got a point in front of a rare sell-out crowd, sorely needed in their desperate relegation battle. For Lautern, if they don’t raise their game and seize at least the playoff back from Köln, it will have to leave a bitter taste for their fans.

FSV Frankfurt showed Union Berlin who’s boss as they dominated the visitors. Both realistically are two weak to challenge for that 3rd spot, but the Bornheimers have pretty much ended any hopes the mini-Berliners had. It’s been a good campaign for FSV, as they were picked to be struggling against relegation, as usual. Union has been up and down all season.

On Monday, St.Pauli saved a point against Paderborn in dramatic fashion: GK Philip Tschauner went forward in desperation time and headed home to sqaure the match.

Total attendance this week 169,323 (avg 18,814), one sellout (Sandhausen)

The clubs fighting relegation are desperately seeking results, and higher ranked teams have to be careful that they don’t stumble.

Bielefeld struggled to make headway against Darmstadt, and indeed it was the visitors who had the biggest chance to score the winner. Nevertheless, a precious point for the Hessen club. Preußen Münster was also on verge of defeat as they were outplayed by Dortmund’s B squad, and only a fine display from their goalkeeper prevented embarassment. Erfurt also managed a scoreless draw at Burghausen, keeping their head above relegation.

Leaders Karlsruhe had little trouble in a local derby with Kickers Stuttgart, and kicked their ass to remain on top. Osnabrück on the other hand was facing a stunning defeat at home to Rostock, but sub Emil Jula saved their bacon, coming on in the 2nd half and scoring a double that got the win. A loss would have been bitter, as chasing teams Münster and Heidenheim have an extra match.

Only Aachen looks ready to cave, and the lights are about to go out. This is one of the few times they’ve truly stunk at home, getting ripped by Chemnitz. Getting the point deduction and continued bad financial news makes it almost a certainty that Alemannia is going down.

Total attendance 59,067 (avg 6,563), typical crap number at Stuttgart-II.

The rematch was another ho-hum performance by Germany, without it’s strongest lineup and once again playing without a striker. The DFB squad came out strong and pressed, wrapping things up by halftime and then taking off for the pub at halftime to drink some Tucher-Pils. The Kazakhs gave a reasonable account of themselves again, but were clearly out of their league. Actually, they should be happy, since the Germans hit the wood about 6 times I counted, so they easily could have lost around 10-1. Of course the Kazakh goal was due to another Neuerism, as he lost the ball like a wanker in front of the goal. So another 3 points on the way to Brazil, not much else to say about this one.

Germany easily defeated Kazakhstan 3-0 away in Astana to remain on top of Group C, 5 points clear of Sweden after 5 rounds. hardly and overwhelming performance, but solid. Germany took control early and was up two goals. The Kazakhs actually impressed with some good pressure afterwards, until the DFB squad decided to put the match away with the 3rd goal.

For the Germans, the main issue was that Bastian Schweinsteiger and Julian Draxler left injured and our out of the rematch in a few days.

Bayern München continues to roll, with another win, this time in Aspirin country. The leaders came out strong enough and Mario Gomez grabbed the lead. However then they dicked around (of course, Robben is playing) and pretty much dared Leverksuen to do something. It took a while, but eventually the hosts did and equalized. However as seems wont with all Bundesliga matches this year, Bayern seized the win even when they were ho-humming, as Leverkusen committed suicide when Wollschied knocked a Schweinsteiger free kick into his own net.

Impressive performance by Dortmund, as their relentless pressure smashed through Freiburg. The guests started off well and didn’t try to hide, coming out and attacking against the Neons…veen grabbing the lead. But Dortmund didn’t seem bothered at all and continued their assault and deciding the match with a flurry just before halftime. They continued their pressure after the restart and eventually Freiburg cracked. Nuri Sahin is now back in the starting lineup, and it’s like he never left, so the Neons look pretty strong, perhaps ready to challenge next season if they can sign him.

Schalke and Nürnberg have one of the more famous “fan-friendships”, but you have to wonder what the Knappen are thinking after they got bitch-slapped in the Frankenland. Schalke looked the better side, created oodles of chances. But they largely waved at them like a fairy, so der Ckub decided to take matters into their own hands and ruthlessly kicked Schalke in the balls.

Ho-hum match in Wolfsburg, as Düsseldorf earned a point.

Southwestern derby in Hoffenheim, but neither the hosts or Mainz looked like they were too interested. The Hoppers needed a win and didn’t get it. Mainz looked like they didn’t want to be there and just wanted the point.

Greuther Fürth put in a spirited performance at Bremen, but the Werder fans weren’t having any of it. Instead they mercilessly booed their home side, as the Greuther outhustled them.

Augsburg has not given up and they scored early in Hamburg and hung on grimly for the win. HSV dominated the match but evidently couldn’t hit the side of a barn, and end up with egg on their faces.

Frankfurt has been sinking, suffering from goal constipation. Stuttgart has been up and down (largely down), so you figure something would have to give. Eintracht finally did score, but their ship continues to take on water. Stuttgart actually showed some effort in the 2nd half and get a critical win, which should put to rest any worries about relegation. Frankfurt’s great season start is now a long memory and it seems questionable whether they will be able to hold onto the final Champions League spot, and indeed even the EuropaLiga could be questionable.

Gladbach upended Hannover to move closer to Europe or even Champions League potential. The home side was more aggressive in the 1st period, and the 96ers too defensive. Gladbach grabbed a lead and were solid in the 2nd half, and despite opening up and playing better, Hannover couldn’t get back in. The battle for the European spots remains tight, likely to change every round.

Total attendance this weekend, 395,538 (avg 43,949), sellouts in Dortmund and Leverkusen

1860 hosted leaders Hertha, and with 1860 in the house, you know it’s going to be Schlaraffenland (basically, sleepy time). And sure enough, the only action in the 1st half was the line judge putting up and offsides flag. However in the 2nd period, 1860 did a lot better and pressured Hertha, but not enough to really cause much trouble, since they suck. Basically a vacation day in München for the leaders.

Bochum looked the better team against Braunschweig, as the soon-to-be-promoted side disappointed with dour defensive play. The Bochumers however couldn’t really crack the defensive shell, and sure enough at the end Braunschwieg countered and grab a somewhat dubious win. But that’s what the 2.Liga is all about: grind out some key points even when you play poorly.

Odd outcome in Paderborn, as FSV Frankfurt controlled most of the match, but wasted chances. Paderborn took theirs and thereby kicked FSV in the balls, likely ending any hopes of playoffs for Frankfurt.

Exciting match in Berlin, and Union maintained the upper hand against St.Pauli. The match went back and forth, with Union generally having the edge, and it wasn’t until a spurt at the end that Berlin sealed the win – which keeps Union in playoff potential. Maruis Ebbers did manage his 100th goal for St.Pauli.

Duisburg hadn’t beaten Cottbus at home since 2004, and this was yet another ho-hum performance. Both teams ran around aimlessly, but the Zebras did enough to finally get a win. Important points for MSV to stay above relegation, but Energie could have put pressure on a playoff spot with a win.

Kaiserslautern finally had a decent outing with a routine thumping of Ingolstadt, thereby defending 3rd place. They were pretty lame in the 1st half, but a penalty got them the advantage. In the 2nd half FCK was more focused, but in any case Ingolstadt was crap, so it turned into an easy win.

Aalen and Sandhausen were crap. But the home side was a little less crap and looked to have the match won, as it was just a boring kickabout. But suddenly SVS countered with a couple of goals out of nothing, and seemingly would get a great road win. However Aalen got their act together for a late effort and were rewarded with a last minute goal and a draw. Nice away point for Sandhausen, but they really could have used the (undeserved) win.

A hard fought relegation battle in Regensburg between Jahn and Erzgebirge. Both sides needed a result, Regensburg desperately so. It started out at a surprisingly high-level, both teams attacking. Regensburg gradually got the edge, but not enough to get the win. The most memorable point however early in the 1st half as Hochscheidt and Laurito went up for a header and cracked heads, both having to be hauled off to the hospital.

On Monday, 1. FC Köln brought home teh bacon with a win at Dresden. The Kölners played solid, if unspectacular. Dynamo tried hard, but their finishing was downright embarassing. A late double by Ujah gave Köln the points and keep them on Kaisersluatern’s tail. Dresden missed a chance to move up and continue in the red zone.

Total attendance this week was 138,810 (avg 15,423), with one sell out at Union Berlin…

The heat of the relegation battle just got turned up another notch. Midweek the DFB announced penalties for Kickers Offenbach and Alemannia Aachen. Both clubs had presented “dubious” financial statements to the DFB financial governing board, or at least were late in getting their euros in order. So the federation has penalized them two points apiece, dropping them further down the table. Aachen of course is facing insolvency, and will likely restart in the Regionalliga, although their is a slight chance that they might ward off that automatic relegation.

Obviously this turned out to be great news for suffering Darmstadt. The 98ers hosted powerful Osnabrück, and certainly another loss was penciled in. However perhaps lifted by events, the home side came out strong, and VfL really looked lame and without ideas. In a match were they showed heretofore unexhibited spirit, Darmstadt got the win which indicates that they are serious about staving off relegation. Osnabrück suffers a serious blow to their promotion hopes, although they remain in a dogfight, their rivals have a game in hand.

Despite the bad news, Aachen actually was giving hosts Preußen Münster fits early on. They were counterattacking well and looked respectable. But then Kefkir ruined it by getting his ass tossed, and soon Münster seized control. Although Alemannia did valiantly fight back, they eventually got rolled.

Kickers Offenbach showed some rare fight (in the league, they’ve shown a lot in the Cup) and came away with a hard-fought victory at Stuttgart in the Battle of the Kickers. This was a critical match for both relegation threatened clubs, but the Offenbach side gets the points for a little breathing room.

Arminia Bielefeld showed only minimal demonstration of a potential 2.Liga squad, but they did enough when it counted to come away with a win at Chemnitz. Like Preußen Münster, they now leapfrog Osnabrück into a promotion spot.

Heidenheim keeps their promotion hopes alive with a hard fought win over Burghausen. The visitors ended up shooting themselves in the foot when Mokhtari got double carrded out after an hour, allowing FCH to safely steer home the match.

OK, I suppose the reality is that the glass is really “half-full”, but I was somewhat disappoined with the results from the Champions League. At least from what was my expectations after the first leg.

On the positive, Borussia Dortmund lived up to billing, as they ripped Shakhtar Donetzk to shreds 3-0. The only thing left for the Neons is a good run in Europe, and they at least seem to be taking that seriously. In the Bundesliga, they are likely to grab 2nd, which is a decent result except that Bayern has run away with it.

Schalke was somewhat neutral. On the one hand, the Blues were reeling with horrible league form and looked a sinking ship. But they seemed to have recovered somewhat, and their away leg to Galatasaray was a solid performance. And it raised expectations that they would get the job done. Things started out well too, as they took the lead. Now you have to give credit to the Turkish side, they came into the return and played strong as well. After falling behind, Schalke had to desperately try and win, as the tie would no longer be enough. They basically just ran out of gas. Somewhat of a disappointment, since this matchup was for the taking.

Now to Bayern. Everybody knew that this was “over”, as their 3-1 away lead was likely insurmountable. So perhaps you’d expect them to take it likely, but like most fans, I wanted to see them rip Arsenal. Instead they played listless and deservedly lost, and all it could have taken was another Neuer-ism, and they’d end up with complete egg on their faces. Kudos to the Arse, but Bayern didn’t even bother phoning this one in. What’s worse, at times they reverted to their crap ways of the past, especially Robben, out of control, running all over into holes and ruining chances. Yeah, they advance, but hardly with any style. They could have made a statement with a crushing win. They made a statement alright, but it seems more like “we’ll coast along when we have a lead”. Which seems to have gotten them in trouble on a couple of occasions…

The highlight of this round is Germany’s most passionate fixture, the famed “Revier-derby”. Schalke showed that they’re on the rebound with a deserved 2-1 win over bitter rival Borussia Dortmund. The Blues were the dominant side in the first half, when the Neons were basically sleeping. They grabbed a solid lead, and Dortmund’s improved effort in the 2nd half was in vain. Youngster Julian Draxler once again impressed for the Blues, although Huntelaar suffered a knee injury that could end his miserable season – which had been looking up recently. This was the 142nd edition of the derby, 82 in the Bundesliga.

Bayern München domainted Fortuna Düsseldorf, as expected. However Fortuna GK Fabian Giefer was brilliant, almost bringing the Bayern attackers to tears. What’s even more impressive is that Düsseldorf used their counter-attacks to take the lead twice. bayern wasted a lot of opportunities, and of course Giefer was stopping everything else, so it looked like a major upset. But in the end the runaway leaders got a header from Jerome Boateng to decide the match.

A stunning result in Freiburg, where Wolfsburg bitch-slapped the Breisgauers. SCF is one of the high-flying surprises, and jumped out to dream start, Kruse scoring in the 2nd minute. But then 5 minutes later Makiadi headed into his own goal, and the VWs took full advantage to rip their hosts. Ivica Olic did most of the damage, his best match since being cast out from Bayern last summer.

An entertaining match in Mainz, where the hosts edged Leverkusen. Both sides had their moments, but the ref decided the match when deciding on a handball. For Mainz, it’s nice to get a win after some ho-hum outings. The Aspirins were unable to take advantage of Dortmund’s slip, and have to be leaving frustrated – but they didn’t do enough to get a win anyway.

Augsburg continues to fight hard, but had a disastrous result in a Bavarian derby with Nürnberg. The Fuggers actually dominated much of the match, but der Club was a lot more inteliigent. They let the Fuggers run around like chickens with their heads cut off, and despite gifting a goal (Rafael Schaefer had a hilarious Manuel Neuer-esque moment as he dropped a header and it went through his legs), FCN was ready to pounce on opportunities and grabbed the win.

A somewhat surprising result in Fürth. The Greuther had been fighting hard recently, and could be expected to get a result against the most gutless squad in the Bundesliga, Hoffenheim. Instead, for once the Hoppers, who actually have some talent, showed up and played hard – and they easily smashed a crap Greuther side. With Augsburg taking a dump as well, perhaps not all is lost for the Hoppers.

Gladbach and Bremen have been all over the place this season, so you never know what you’re going to get. Werder showed some defensive discipline for change, Gladbach controlled the match but was way too static. The result is that the visitors fully deserved their point.

Boring match in Hannover, neither 96ers nor Frankfurt get anything going. Eintracht is slipping, they haven’t scored in over 500 minutes. The positive was that they reached 1,000 point mark in their Bundesliga career. Hannover has scored well this season, but didn’t look like they wanted to be here.