This blog is devoted to stuff that white people like

#54 Kitchen Gadgets

White people are under a lot of pressure to like cooking. Everything in their culture tells them that they need to have a nice kitchen and that they need to cook with organic, fresh ingredients to make delicious, complicated food.

Though any great chef can prepare fantastic meals with a knife and a few pots, white people believe that they need a full cadre of appliances and gadgets in their kitchen in order to live up to the pressure.

If you go into a white person’s kitchen you will find a waffle maker, a rice cooker, a steamer, a food processor, a panini press and a blender. They also have hand powered devices like flour sifters, ravioli crimpers, pizza cutters, potato ricers, and a sushi mat.

But, in order for them to truly enter into whitedom, they need to own the holy grail of white kitchens – the kitchen aid stand mixer (right). They will match this mixer to their kitchen’s color scheme and it will make up the focal point. And much like many religious artifacts, it will remain untouched for months and even years, sitting on the counter to be admired as a testament to their lifestyle.

Kitchen Gadgets also serve as one of the main reasons why white people get married. Look at their registry and you will find gadgets for any possible task in the kitchen. If you end up buying one of these for a white person, your card should make reference to them using a lot to make beautiful food that you hope you can eat one day. This kind of stuff goes over like gang busters.

If you find yourself in a conversation about these things, a good way to say a little but mean a lot is to mention that you “find the consumer models to be poorly built, my friend, a chef, brings me with him to a restaurant supply shop that’s not open to the public. The stuff there is real quality, it’s where I get all of my pans.”

If this is too big of a risk, you should just throw out a combination of these words: “le Creuset, Calphalon, All Clad, Williams Sonoma, and Sur Le Table.” White people go so nuts when they hear these words, you won’t even have to finish your sentence.

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369 Responses

This is GREAT!!! Black people buy rims, asians buy houses with cash, mexicans make lowriders, white people buy stupid appliances.

I’m looking for the universal word for “those of our kind who are an embarassement to our kind.” Cracker just doesn’t cut it for whitey, nigger is taken, everything else is just too damn ethnicity specific.

How about, “losers”?

I’ve seen some interesting racist sites, but never a good whitey site. Great job. Doo dih doo dih doooo I’m lovin’ it.

Stand mixer is great !!! I want it ! I often cook cake. So I think that if I use this mixer , I could cook vely well. Moreover I think this mixer make people happy.
Now I am high school student. Several years later I will become company person , I want buy it!! Ha ha ha!!

“I’m looking for the universal word for “those of our kind who are an embarassement to our kind.” Cracker just doesn’t cut it for whitey, n—– is taken, everything else is just too damn ethnicity specific. How about, “losers”?” – Rich Hill

The Kitchen Aid stand mixer is excelled by the Bosch Universal. It is imported from Germany, more expensive and can knead 6 loaves of whole wheat bread at at time with its included dough hook, wheat that has been ground in a Nutrimill home wheat grinder. My wife has both on our granite counters. We never eat white flour or sugar, which is another sign that we are white people.

i’m but white but I’m getting married next year and i can’t wait to do the registry (don’t want to do it too soon and look greedy) just so that i can get some calphalon pots and pans! This site is awesome and i’m rolling on the floor laughing. it’s a commentary on our whole upper-middle class lifestyle and i love it.

My spouse loves kitchen gadgets, but I do most of the cooking. She bought a deep fryer about 13 years ago and we have yet to use it. I took it apart once and read the instructions. It sits serenely under our brushed chrome Kitchen Aid mixer that is used solely to make pizza dough. My spouse has used it to mix cookie batter a few times and a few pies, but didn’t really want to wear it out. What I’ll do is put things like that fucking deep fryer on ebay. One day she’ll ask me what did you do with the deep fryer and I’ll say remember those delicious Spanish reds, Syrahs and Zinfandels we drank…

My wife wants a kitchen aid stand mixer so bad. the red one specifically. i told her ‘no’, that would make us more whitified as we already wash our dishes in the dishwasher (instead of using it as a drying rack or random utensil storage). i’m not sure i can stand being MORE white than that.

I’m confused. I’m Chinese. I was born in an old village and we had to pick raw rice from the fields, then bring it back to the shack to squat down and wash and cook at the fireplace. If we were lucky enough to catch a chicken or duck that was running around, we’d slaughter that motherfucker too.

When we came to America we thought white folks didn’t cook since you guys have like restaurants n shit. And like those machines, I think they’re called microwaves. And you guys have so much food that you keep it stored away in cold boxes. Like you don’t even eat that shit right away like us starving chinamen do.

[…] because of its amazing authenticity. (Other entries that describe me pretty well: Apple Products, Kitchen Gadgets, Apologies. And the one about the Sunday New York Times is a dead ringer for my family, except for […]

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I have a theory that the upcoming white person’s must-have kitchen item are Japanese knives (like Global brand). They have a number of advantages over other knives:

– White people love Japan. Other high-end knives are made by Germans, ie other white people, and white people like to spread the love to other cultures in the name of diversity.
– The Japanese Global knives look different with pocked metal handles so white friends who aren’t in the know will ask about them.
– They were touted by Anthony Bourdain so they will win you cred with your white foodie friends.
– They’re still pretty expensive.

[…] The site made me laugh hysterically, but it also made tell myself things like, “I use my KitchenAid mixer all the time! Like once every two weeks at least!” But then I thought about every single […]

I have a kitchenaid stand mixer almost exactly like the one in the picture. (Wasn’t picked to match any decor, though.) I use it at least once a week, though, often more. Apparently I should stop using it to complete my whiteness.

I just found your blog today. This is hilarious stuff! BTW I have that exact Kitchen Aid mixer. It’s sitting out on a shelf in plain view. I used to keep it in a closet, but I decided if I look at it every day, I will use it more. I now use it about once a month, up from once every 3 – 6 months. But I’m telling you it mixes up a giant batch of cookies, and makes quick work of sponge cake. (which I’ve made once in my lifetime)

I have a (sob) cheaper Kitchen Aid, you know, the one that was all hubby could afford. I used to use it almost daily but that caught up with me and I got diabetes type 2. Now it sadly sits and watches me eat little or no carbs.

I still, however, want to get it painted up with flames, ala Alton Brown.

This for the person that continues to post the same thing(#20)…I’m black and I don’t think your racist …Well everybody to a certain degree and who cares…but Black people and waterMelons? When did you come to that conclusion? Have you witness black people more of their fair share of water melon or did you hear it can kept repeating it? Maybe fried chicken but even that shit is old…Now you can change that to Rims, big a chains, ear rings, Nike shoes, white women,….blah blah blah. Those things I can deal with….And Mexicans and sombreros …Come on NOw!!!!

BUS…TED. Not only do I own a Kitchen Aid mixer along with every other gadget on the planet except a Tater Twister (hey, even I won’t stoop to that), but we have the PRO series with about 6 different attachments.

In my defense, the HUBBY wanted it and we do use it from time to time.

C’mon Dan D. (#46) — You spend five minutes with a Williams-Sonoma employee (preferably a holiday season temporary “for the discount” who could buy and sell the full-timers) and you will be convinced that a Pannini Press will correct all the evil brought upon the world by the George Foreman Grill.*

#54
I feel that who ever wrote this column is smart. It is so true about white people loving to use kitchen gadgets. The reason I think that white people like to use these gadgets is because they are so damn lazy to cook from scratch with their hands for themselves. The only people that use these gadgets are the people with money. A funny thing is though every ethnicity has their own specific ridiculous thing that they buy for no apparent reason. Black people buy humongous rims that look stupid and put them on a piece of crap car, the rims look like they even cost more than the car. Mexicans try so hard to me like the white man they buy so much stuff to make their house like all nice and cozy. Then the white people have the appliances for they can make their lives easier by being lazy. That’s how I see everything.

I, too, have a kitchen aide mixer, with most of the attachments, but I also went to culinary school. My wife’s favorite is the juicer attachment. We own a cheap Proctor-Silex Belgian Waffle maker, but own one just the same. I have two coffee grinders. I use one to grind spices (I also have a white friend who uses one to grind, uhm, ‘herbs’). Cuisinart Food Processor, check. Ice Cream/Gelatto maker, check. Rice cooker, pressure cooker, check! Mandoline, check! $200+ dollar (5 years ago) kyocera ceramic knife, you bet!
I’m pretty much as white as they come. Even had an N.W.A. cassette.

I hate these things. They take up more counter and cabinet space and hardly ever get used. I have an all in one mixer, blender, food processor and one of those hand blender mix whip chopper uppers thingies. Knives , a good board and a whisk will do more than most of these appliances put together.
Of course you still need a toaster , but I dont consider that a gadget, nor a microwave. And I love to cook. I hate to clean and put tons of stuff away though. The less junk in the kitchen, the better the cook :>

I replaced my microwave with a shiny, German-made built in steam oven, enabling me to properly prepare my organic produce from my local farmer’s market without losing the essential nutrients. The veggies were prep’d with a Global knife, of course. I think I should get a lifetime achievement award.

My red KitchenAid came from my mother; she decided to change to a Cobalt Blue kitchen scheme and could only justify it by unloading the red one on me. I used to hate it, but fortunately you have pointed out the error of my ways. I am going to make some meringue (since I have the Isi whip cream cannister, I don’t use the KitchenAid for anything else).

White people love gadgets, that’s why Pampered Chef is booming.
White people also love shortcuts and overpriced stuff, and to have it combined with something “foodie” is their dream come true, hence the success of Tastefully Simple. I bought a box of brownies from TS for $7, but felt it was worth every penny. It was like the heroin of brownie mixes.

Every white person loves two songs: “Carry On My Wayward Son” by Kansas and “It’s More Than a Feeling” by Boston. Of course, they all love them ironicly so they can reconcile liking two incredibly mainstream songs and having Pavement on their iPod.

Along the same lines, every white person ever loves a guitar solo – the longer and more meandering the better. Solos are generally the measure of how good a band or artist is. This does not apply to any music made after 1979.

I special-ordered a pearlized copper KitchenAid Stand Mixer and use it every weekend in tandem with my waffle maker. In fact, I think that the stand mixer should be the mascot of this website because it has a lot in common with it: It whips whites really well. PS, the next big white person kitchen gadget is the immersion blender (not the TV one, the $99 Breville one from W-S). And yes, white people love Williams-Sonoma so much they abbreviate it.

Get the Zojirushi Neuro Fuzzy rice cooker. It is worth the space it takes up and not only makes perfect sticky rice, it plays a little tune when you start it and when it is finished. Unfortunately the tunes are not by Kansas or Boston. I even know Asian people who have the Zojirushi-and of course I know lots of Asian people.

This is partially because white people already have everything by the time they get married. Since there is nothing more they need they are forced to ask for odd kitchen contraptions. Other white people feel the need to fulfill these requests.

OMG I own a Kitchen Aid Mixer and it’s Red to match my kitchen… it is also my most prized appliance! I actually do use it to BAKE cakes (you don’t cook them) at one point I thought I was going to burn out the motor on it making frosting for the cake. This site is just so great…..

I own a kitchen aid mixer, cuisinart food processor, mini cuisinart food processor, blender, rice cooker, and every kitchen gadget under the sun…but I’m Asian. This must be quite the paradox, lol. Guess I’ve been assimilated into the way of the white folks. Most of the points here apply to me more than to my white other half! At any rate, this site cracks me up, good job.

We have 5 waffle irons in my house. I am the only one who makes waffles and I’m only “home” for about 4 weeks a year. There are also two Kitchen Aid mixers. You didn’t include that many of these people are big on their kitchen storage space. None of these things are actually on the countertop, which leads to them being even more forgotten…

i totally heart my kitchenaid stand mixer more than you know. hard to believe, i know, but i actually use it.

you should taste the super delicious, sublimely fantastic things that i can produce with it…vegan cupcakes, 20 flavors of whipped cream, vegan masa for homemade tamales with hand made salsas and fillings. i’m not vegan and i’m blinding white but i love to make vegan treats and all manner of so-called ‘ethnic’ dishes.

i use organic ingredients from whole foods, the farmers market or sunflower market. then i eat them while drinking coffee that i bought on travel to some faraway place, listening to indie music or npr, sitting on modern furniture, contemplating whether i need a graduate degree to pursue a job at a non-profit organization other than the one that employs me at present, all while my dog watches and drools because i love him but not enough to feed him human food (or maybe too much to feed him human food?)

Appliances, especially anything from Europe. Even though they break down in a week, and you can never ever get them serviced. Also, outlandish baskets made of woven twigs are popular. Used for “gathering herbs, fruit etc” from the summer garden. These ugly baskets are called “Trugs”.

I’m white and I own a Kitchenaid stand mixer. But does it count, because I got it on clearance for 75% off at Target, and didn’t care about the color b/c it was the only one they had? Also, my husband really is a chef and used it within a week…. And we had been married a year and a half before I accidentally stumbled upon it in the clearance section and bought it. We didn’t put it on our wedding registry, b/c we realize they’re just too damn expensive at full retail.

i agree, but rice cookers are really nice. maybe it’s my extreme whiteness talking, but the rice cooker makes the rice so much better and i am incapable of making good rice without keeping constant watch but the rice cooker has a TIMER a TIMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so you can do other stuff and it will keep the rice warm after it’s done! that is whyi really want one

I’m white, I cook every night, and the only one of those powered appliances I own is a blender. It was, ironically, a wedding gift. I only use it to make my own mayonnaise. 1 egg + 1 cup oil = delicious. A couple of good pots and pans and a sharp knife will go a long way.

I love my kitchen gadgets. I worked in a housewares store for a while. I admit it…I have a Kitchen Aid stand mixer. I’ve got the meat grinder attatchment and everything. It was a gift, but damn if I don’t love that thing. And no, it does not match my kitchen.

As for the other appliances, the only one I have is a blender. I think the only thing I’ve ever used it for are margaritas. Those are important.

As for the other necessary kitchen appliance – the Salton Sandwich Maker. You put a sandwich in, and it comes out as grilled cheese. No, I am not a frat boy. I work 60 hours a week, and sometimes cooking an actual meal isn’t an option.

Other than that, my coffee maker was purchased for $8 at K Mart; my microwave is a vintage 1983 Toshiba that easily weighs about 30 pounds; and the closest thing I have to a food processor is one of those glass jars that has a blade you push up and down.

I love my Kitchen Aid Mixer and I’m not even close to being white! I absolutely had to have it for Christmas a couple of years ago that I pestered my dear hubby until he could stand it no more…. I wanted the Green Apple one to match my kitchen decor, but my hubby bought me the Whitey White one…oh well it blends in.

It now sits in my garage all lonely and boxed up because it’s too big to be displayed in my compact sized kitchen. I think it may even be bigger than my microwave, huh!

I think for Christmas this year I’m going to pester him to get me the Kitchen Aid Pro Line® Series Espresso Machine. I wanna be white!

My partner’s roommate (who is whiter than I am— and -I- have a soccer scarf!) bought a blender for more than $800. His reasoning was that it gave him ‘status’ to own a blender that cost that much.
No joke.

Yes, we have the KitchenAid stand mixer – Cobalt Blue. It sits right between the Cobalt Blue KitchenAid blender, the Cobalt Blue KitchenAid toaster and the Cobalt Blue KitchenAid utensils. Nearby are the ceramic mason jars and glass butter dish specifically purchased because they are the same color as the KitchenAid appliances.

Does anyone know where I can find a Cobalt Blue KitchenAid rice cooker?

If you’re white and successful, you have nothing but All-Clad pans. I would rather give up my $5K a pop hooker than my All-Clad. Plus, if a Nigga’ breaks into your home, you can bonk him on the head! Nigga’s have glass pipe, Whitey has the All-Clad!

Kitchen Aide blender? Oh, please! The only blender any respectable Honkey should own is a Vita Mix 5000. It costs an arm and a leg, but goddamn, it’s the best blender made! I make smoothies every night (that’s right, with VANILLA yogurt) to go with dinner. Nigga’s got their OE, Whitey has the smoothie.

a senior citizen am I……I have had all kinds of kitchen gadgets…………the only one I have now that is truly used is the good ol micro-wave!!!!..best invention they ever made!! oh and a toaster!!!…..who cooks,after they reach the empty nest stage?

Well, you pegged it… My Almond colored Kitchen-Aid is sitting beautifully on my counter… collecting dust… because it hasn’t been used in over 2 months… Oh, and I really want that waffle maker, bet I won’t use that either. I suppose next I will have to buy a new house equipped with a kitchen big enough to hold all these gadgets…. Ah.. where will it end?

I have 2 waffle makers, a rice cooker, a steamer, 2 food processors, 2 blenders (plus a stick blender), a flour sifter, a ravioli crimper, a pizza cutter, a potato ricer, a sushi mat, and (ta-da) a KitchenAid stand mixer with the meat grinder attachment. Additionally, a set of Henckels knives, home-brewing equipment, a mezzaluna, an olive oil mister, and a pizza stone. I feel so white.

I only have a waffle maker and a blender. None of that other fancy stuff. Although my waffle maker isn’t one of those cool new flippy ones. Mine actually is from Wal-Mart and the handle to open it is broken. Don’t have one of those big kitchens to keep all that stuff. You know white people like big kitchens. Just found this site. What a hoot. I just don’t fit in with all my white counterparts.

I’m glad you listed Williams-Sonoma here. Your blog is so perfect. Not only is my entire kitchen outfitted by Williams-Sonoma, when they come out with a new and IMPROVED waffle iron, coffee maker, whatever, I go and buy that one, too. Then I donate my old, but still new, whatever to Goodwill. And I feel so good about that!

“Look at their registry and you will find gadgets for any possible task in the kitchen.”

What am I supposed to put on my registry then! I’m white, my fiance is black – do we veer on the side of the wife or husband with this one? I hope the wife cuz I want my KitchenAid! In red, so it can match my modern kitchen 🙂

for my college graduation gifts, i got a pomeranian puppy and a kitchen aid mixer (black to match the rest of my appliances and my over priced knife block) with the icecream attachment. i also have one of the most extensive silicone bakeware collections, all in blue, including 3 different sizes of bread pans, a multitier wire cooling rack and a tupperware container just for round layer cakes.

my boyfriend doesn’t know it yet, but i’m buying the pasta attachment for my mixer instead of getting him a birthday present.

The best white people kitchen item in the whole world is a machine you can buy that heats two hot dogs and two buns in an electric machine. Can you imagine ANYBODY feeling a need for this appliance? I admit to owning a good big food processor, but that’s because I have an enormous family that likes to get together and I therefore find myself making food for 100 people. Other than that, good knives and a couple of decent pots work just fine.

Um….that’s me. I have used my Kitchen-Aide Mixer once since I got it. And I purposefully put it on my counter, as if it is a status symbol. And I keep telling my boyfriend we should get married so we could get free kitchen stuff!
le Creuset is elite! HA!
This is soooo me!

me too, I have all those things for my house and now that I own a camping car, RV, I have all those things for my camping adventures. I used my electric roaster to roast a 16 pound turkey this weekend while camping. yep, I’m half Irish and half Mexican but pass as white

I have a pizza cutter, since I buy that frozen McCains pizza deal for $6.49 from the Price Chopper.
What in the HELL do you need a ‘rice steamer’ for? Are you serious? People pay MONEY for that??
That’s messed up.

Ravioli… ‘crimper’?

I remember buying my mom (yup, white) a Kitchen Aid thing for Christmas when I was a teen. She went NUTS! The stupid thing cost over $250, weighted like 35 pounds, and all it does is STIR STUFF in the bowl.
HUH?

I want this post to prove that I’m not as white as the usual white people; I do indeed cook, love it, but I don’t have a fab kitchen and I resist buying kitchen gadgets. However I do have a KA stand mixer, wedding gift, which does not match my kitchen decor and lives in a cupboard when I’m not using it. (anti-establishment white person)

And I do have three All-clad pans and one Le Creuset. BUT the All-clad doesn’t match. Matchy-matchy is nouveau riche.

I think a really advanced white person has read Laurie Colwin’s essay on the “Frugal Persons Batterie De Cuisine” and has acquired vintage cast iron ware and kitchen gadgets at tag sales, Junior League thrift shops, and estate auctions. I only buy vintage cast iron if I can help it. Any arriviste can shop the Williams-Sonoma catalog.

If you are a very rich advanced white person, you can go to that vintage kitchen implements store at the Ferry Building in San Francisco (where they have the world’s most exclusive Farmers Market) and buy antique copper pots and coffee grinders imported from France. Ding, ding, ding – multiple white people points.

Boy, for a partial white person who tries to be less white and consume lower than my demographic group, I sure have good ideas about how to one-up many of your list items. You ought to pay me to consult on tuning up your food snob section…

Hey, now, those are some pretty necessary components to any white kitchen! Except the garlic press, of course, because my Italian Nonnie would beat me with her wooden spoons if she caught me using one of those… : /

I definitely lust after a Kitchen Aid stand mixer, but I have this strange tendency to USE my innumerable kitchen appliances!

LOL!!! You must be living in America… You see. what is in your kitchen is a financial thing. Rich black (or asian or whatever) people have what they want in the kitchen. (up to and including other people to do the cooking) Poor people have what they can afford… Nothing to do with the color of your skin.

I eat only exotic organic rices that Rainbow Market, the worker owned co-operative sells (cooked in home made organic free range chicken stock, FTW) but I worry about the carbon impact and feel guilty. This makes me an advanced white person.

Oh man. I have been lusting over a kitchenAid mixer for a year. Neither my boyfriend or my immediate family will buy me one. I miss my rice cooker but have become semi-proficient at making rice on the stove top. I have a food processor, and a George Foreman grill that I used once decided was terrible and banished into the back of the cabinet where it will never be seen again. All of my pans are ancient cast iron (inherited) and I would sell my potential children before giving even one of them up.

What I really need is a decent pan that won’t stick for cooking edgs in. =/ And a stand mixer.

LOL We have a kitchen aid. We have a ton of random crap in our house. Its super clean and spiffy lol but we have a ton of stuff to make raw food with. We are those stereotypical vegan, organic whites lol. I like the vitamix better than the kitchen aid though! I am laughing so hard right now. This site is really funny.

[…] going to wait to put this on any sort of gift registry and bought it myself. No matter what Stuff White People Like say, my KitchenAid mixer gets a lot of attention; it mixes a lot of dough, whips up cookies galore, […]

[…] waffle irons, the almighty kitchen aid stand mixer and ice cream makers, you are bound to have more kitchen gadgets than you know what to do with. Not to mention a cupboard’s worth of manuals which you will have […]

If what you’re friends are saying is correct, Roger Ebert must be “So Asian.” From the NYTimes Magazine about three years ago:

Favorite gadget: You can live your entire life never cooking with anything but a rice cooker. In fact, I’ve been threatening to write the rice-cooker cookbook. There’s a warning on my machine that says, ”Do not cook anything in this but rice.” But there’s no reason for that warning. You can make stews, soups and pasta in it.

When I worked at Linens-N-Things, the easiest thing to sell in the world was a KitchenAid of Cuisinart stand mixer. They had more attatchments than would ever be necessary. We also sold a lot of useless coffee/tea/hot choclate makers.

Yup!
We have a red kitchenaid cuisineart mixer that exactly matches the red tiles in our kitchen! And a blender and and a food processor and 2 waffle makers and a sandwich maker and a hot air popcorn popper and an orange juicer and a breadmaker that was in the way and we never used so it’s in the laundry room…

Ha! I’m white; I have one of those most useful appliances, in white as well. Actually, it’s my mom’s, rather, and she has about 5 billion other things, including boxes upon boxes to store them in since she doesn’t use them. However, my sister is probably partly to blame, since she is THE whitest person in my entire family. The only useful gadget I want that we don’t have is a rice cooker; my mom is so stubborn on not getting one, yet she have a garlic press, and she buys minced garlic…Oh well. At least that thing’s small, not like the big hunk of crap ice cream maker that my sister blew over $30 bucks on. She then proceeded to buy expensive materials to produce “homemade ice cream” which ended up tasting like crap. That’s another thing that should be addressed on this site; white people loving to spend lots of money to make homemade items that can be cheaply purchased (which a good part of the time end up coming out like crap).

I thought I’d give a word out for something unique especially just for KitchenAid owners.

It’s called ArSyl Custom Covers Creations. They customize covers for your kitchen. They can make matching Mixer, Toaster, Food processor, etc. They have lots of patterns to match your kitchen. What’s great is you can request quilted or non-quilted; whichever you like… Having it quilted for an extra $5 and it’s worth is so worth it!

Well, Im black and Ilove sur le table, Kitchen Aid Products and CuisinArt. The thing that is different about me is I actually use my appliances. I happen to have passion for fine food. I dont belive race has anything to do with it. I am persuing a career in Culinary Arts, I take what I do very seriously. I just have one question: Does liking upscale appliances, andkitchen gadget make me a white person.

Hi, it’s me again. I hope you were not offended by the first comment I made, but to tell the truth I am offended by this blog. It is highly offensive, and almost racest. You are saying that only one race would like high end kitchen materials. Well you are absolutely incorrect. I happen to love all the brands you mentioned, and I do use my Cookware. It does not just sit on my counter, just to look pretty, or show off. I wouldn’t stoop to that level.

This is coming from an African- American girl, who is in Culinary Arts. I have big goals for myself, I dream big, I think big, and I always want the best for myself no matter how small, or big it is.

I also would like to say that I am not just standing on behalf of African-Americans, but others Nationalities that you may have left out that love ,what you say, “STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE”!

I hope you dont’t take my comment in offense, but take it as a lesson learned.

You’re right! Damn him! I wish this blog would chill out with all the racism, I swear. I’m starting to find myself offended after reading every single one of these articles (although I didn’t have to read any of them, mind you); I may just find out where you live and write you an angry letter (maybe even send that letter on to my local newspaper, another thing white people love to do – and you can be damn sure the letter will have proper grammar).

I side with you, Crystal; it is time to free our minds of racism. Any and all races should be able to own needless cooking gadgets, such as shiny, chrome waffle makers and juicers. I believe Martin Luther King jr. said it best, “I have a dream that one day, all races will be able to fill their kitchens with upscale cooking appliances – preferably from IKEA or Tescos.”

Keep on fighting the good fight, I have your back – like you, I have a lot of time to waste.

I love this blog. My wife cooked like a dream with a very meagre kitchen – one cutting board, a couple of knives and a spoon, a few pots. Typical of a rented flat in Ukraine. Now we are in our own home and slowly filling the cupboard with gadgets to make life easier. It doesn’t improve the cooking. Why do we do it? Maybe because she never had these things before. Maybe so we both can show off: that I can afford them for her and that she has such a husband.

No, no, no, Crystal, you’ve got it all wrong. This site is supposed to be a satirical generalization of liberal white american tendencies. The author is not saying that other ethnicities cannot also enjoy the things listed here.

As you well know, many of us African Americans enjoy many of the same things. Please don’t take it like that. Seriously, it’s not like that. 🙂

My wife asked for a year to own a Kitchen Aid mixer. Told me how much easier it will make her life and how much better home made bread and pastries taste homemade; however, it is too much work without the mixer (much like cutting the grass for a white man in the south, where I live, and not having a John Deere or Dixie Chopper riding lawn mower to cut their 1/16th acre of land). I gave in one Christmas and had dreams that I would wake up to the smell of freshly baked cranberry scones (muffins are not white enough) and rough cut oatmeal and raisin cookies. My wife has used the product one time in about two years to make mashed potatoes. Although, I can relate to almost all of the things on this list, this one hits hardest.

First the person writing this blog is caucasion so its not racist because you can not be racist against your self. And it is not called stuff only white people like so only you felt as if you where being excluded. I like a lot of the things on the Blog and all my life I have been accused of being too “white ” by other blacks . So it makes perfect sense to me that these must be things white people like because black people are constantly telling me real blacks (aka) African -Americans don’t eat shushi , go to the opera or shave their legs. It is just like Cat Stevens talking about Blacks, African American (what ever you prefer) I prefer Black myself no one calls that racist. You can’t be racist by exclusion

[…] Like White on Rice Through an interesting (and unsolicited) blog linking system that WordPress generates, I made my way to a very funny blog called “Stuff White People Like.” My two favorite entries (after perusing more than I’d care to divulge) are on Grammar and Kitchen Gadgets. […]

Wait… I have eight of these stand mixers, well, actually, I have seven. Seven Kitchenaid stand mixers. The eighth is a commercial Hobart 5 quart mixer. The Kitchenaids just were too, well, consumer grade. Except for the 1930’s Model G Kitchenaid. But you even get to mentioning that aspect of kitchen gadgetry.

But the others? You have to have wafflemakers. How else are you going to make waffles? And blenders. Needed for margaritas. That’s about as far as I go. Well, except for flour sifters and pizza cutters. But I regularly USE these things. Heck, I even have a Sears Craftsman bottle opener for opening my ale (the stuff made by monks in a Belgian monastery).

Pannini maker? Well, I just use a plain old cast iron skillet – two actually – when I want to make pannini-type sammiches (actually, I don’t make pannini-type sammiches, but I DO make grilled cheese) I heat both skillets – then put the sammich into one with butter and a little butter on top. Set the second hot skillet into the first, on top of the sammich.

[…] On kitchen gadgets: When trying to bond with white people over kitchen gadgets, “just throw out a combination of these words: ‘le Creuset, Calphalon, All Clad, Williams Sonoma, and Sur Le Table. White people go so nuts when they hear these words, you won’t even have to finish your sentence.’” […]

The funny thing here is that non-whites here who say they use all of these gadgets end up sounding so…..like white.

See also:
Another African-American Girl Into Culinary Arts on August 8, 2008 at 12:35 pm
No, no, no, Crystal, you’ve got it all wrong. This site is supposed to be a satirical generalization of liberal white american tendencies. The author is not saying that other ethnicities cannot also enjoy the things listed here.

As you well know, many of us African Americans enjoy many of the same things. Please don’t take it like that. Seriously, it’s not like that.

I think its funny to see a chiche that white people go nuts over brand names. Honestly, half beatn’ up pans from my mom, spatulas, and enough room to acutally make things, is my style. Maybe its because I was brought up to know more about the food im cookin than the dishes I’ll later have to wash.

On a side note. Now that ya’ll mention it.. A waffle iron would be fantastic.

Wow. Normally I find this blog funny but sterotyping – ie, no one actually fits the bill, and it oversimplies. This one, though… wow. It’s like you’ve met my wife and been in our kitchen. We have everything you mentioned except the ravioli crimper and pizza cutter. All of it. And all those brand names.

That said, most of it actually sees pretty regular use, since we like to spend most of every Sunday cooking.

Oh, and I’ve seen most of the same stuff in the kitchen at my black neighbour’s house… so maybe this blog should be renamed “Stuff Yuppies Like”.

O.K… I’m not white, (hint: go the other way!), I own calphalon cookware(discontinued chrome series), a well-seasoned cast-iron skillet, a kitchen-aid professional-series 600-watt cobalt-blue stand mixer, an Osterizer blender, and a set of three 12-inch cake pans that my great-grandmother used to make cakes when I was kid. Great kitchens…. They’re NOT just for white people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, did I also mention matching stainelss professional series Frigidaire ceramic range/oven, refer & dishwasher?!?!??!?!?!?!?! Built the whole shootin’ match m’self!

Lol! my brother’s girlfriend got that exact mixer in the picture! To be fair, she (and I) use it all the time. KitchenAid mixers are great! They’ll mix up the thickest batch of ginger bread in a jiffy.

This is so funny. I truly have the big mixer in the very focal point of where my kitchen walls meet. It is white so not color coordinated, but you are right, that I only use it a few times a year. Thanks for letting me LOL at myself.

Just FYI.
It’s Sur “La” Table, as any good bilingual child would know (I went to highschool in Paris), “table” is feminine, not masculine. Not to mention if you had been to the store you also would have avoided this error.
Still, a highly entertaining article, your site = my life.

actually those kitchenaid mixers are really great. they are big enough and have the different array of settings and attachments.
the only thing that pisses me off about them is the people that don’t know how to to cook at all who own one b/c it matches their decor. ugh. my aunti is a professional baker and sells things from her house, so those kind of mixers make sense…btw…she’s not white…

[…] me to start remembering everything I loved about wedding planning – the crafts, the details, the kitchen electronics… So to quell that critical voice in my head shaming me for not getting my wedding […]

My favorite possession is my Kitchen Aid food processor. I use it frequently. I did not imagine getting such an appliance until I did my “time abroad” and “learned a second language.” Every woman in my third culture who likes to cook and has the money gets a food processor as least as good as the one I have.

Knives and pots are NOT all you need. I’ve made hummus by pressing chickpeas through a sieve. Those days are over.

When my very serious food-preparing Chinese friend visited, she told me she had the same one. I admire her taste in kitchen appliances, so I felt this confirmed my choice.

I just wanted to share a more nuanced look at white fascination with kitchen gadgets.

Pizza cutters are HORRIBLE!.. try just cutting it with a chef’s knife… like 100x faster, and you don;t get all the mess and crap. I was a line cook for years and the owner would always get us a pizza cutter and NO ONE would ever use it!.. that being said though, it probably really killed the knives cutting pizza on metal pans, but just slide it on a cutting board. the pizza cutters are horribly slow and usually totally suck at even being able to get through the crust. Also, one of my biggest pet peeves is using a carrot peeler to peel potatoes!… its sooo slow! use a peering knife,so much easier. also, I’ve seen soo many people (including me before I actually was told that its a carrot peeler not a potato peeler) cut a hunk of their finger and nail off trying to maneuver around a potato with a carrot peeler. but we were also always rushed for time and stuff… so that might have been a factor lol.

Um, well, I’ve shopped at Sur la Table and bought a Le Creuset dutch oven at Williams-Sonoma. Those places are pretty cool, I guess. But my favorite place is Charleston Cooks! in Charleston, SC because it’s an independently owned business and often offers cooking classes that stress the use of local products and regional cuisine. How’s them apples, I dare someone to top it

I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????

I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money on things like useless kitchen gadgets.

Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)

Bad news for hired help in white people’s homes, good news for DIY cookbooks and TV shows on the Food Network. White women are increasing in favor of being “stay in home” wifes, while the men slave away in the corporate office rat race. Forget kitchen gadget machinery, they are going ga-ga for Giudia and Rachael Ray, and the books with the retro-60s covers “Hungry girl”. +

I’m thinking of a correlation between time aboard, learning a second language and kitchen gadgets tied together: you’re hiring cheap labor down in ol’ Me-xi-co haven’t you? and is the Chinese “friend” like your housemaid’s husband? LOL, forgive me but you gotta think like the blogger dude. +

Salad shooters are so 1990’s, anyone remember the Juicer? Man, I’m terrible when it comes to the latest techno gizmos: still own a PS2 game console, doesn’t have satellite cable nor XM radio, no dishwasher (does it by hand) nor a clothes washer/dryer (have them done in Mom’s) and gotta get me a blender. Funny thing is the trend for wealthy white home decor experts want to go back to simpler times, whether it’s the 1950s or 1910s or 1850s, and I don’t see why. +

The ideal poster child of the Nazi eugenics race program: “Der Vitten-Deutsche-Nordesch-Ariensche volk” or whatever, I can’t correctly spell a German sentence. We need a new entry but on a game: “How white are you?” and a picture of JC Lander holding a brown paper pag next to his face: is he lighter? +

I can befriend white yuppie couples even more, perhaps be an influence on the children and the wife 😉 I’m gonna become the American Rasputin, the kind of guy who hangs out with the right crowd for the wrong reasons. If you don’t know who he is, head to wikipedia and type in Rasputin (not hard). +

“Now get in there and make me some bean dip” – Herb Sewell, a random phrase from one of 50 reg. phone character guests on the Phil Hendrie radio show. Kitchen gadgets are nothing more than the male chav plot to return women to the kitchen en masse. I’m gonna expose this to prove my point. LOL!+

Sporks, plastic or paper plates, and anything made out of styro foam is not eco-friendly (green) and not upscale (white). The problem is most of us are so freakin’ tired after a 8 or 9 hour workday (wives also work)…and if we wanna cook something, throw it in the microwave or go through a drive-thru place. We can’t have a home-cooked meal every day for lunch, dinner or who knows, breakfast other than a bowl of cereal. +

I agree about the kitchen gadgets and I am what you have referred to as a “white” person. It is pretty crazy that people really like to have STUFF. I am wondering who wrote this piece how how they label themselves? Do you use a color to define who you are? Do you use other colors to define other people as well. Maybe it is time to learn that colors don’t define us as people, reality is in today’s society it seems to be the STUFF that defines a majority of “people”. What sort of stuff do you have?

I’m a chef and I would rather chew on glass than own anything by Rachel Ray or Pampered Chef. I couldn’t agree more that chefs do 99% of their art with 2 knives, a sauce pan, and a couple of pots….THAT’S IT. Go to any online knife store and notice the crazy-high priced chef knife that is ergonomically designed by JAPANESE master-swordsmiths as well as medical doctors. Then notice the “classic” models that are half the price and have been in production for about 500 years or more.

Haven’t laughed this hard in a long time
The comments posted by naonym on February 11, 2008
and the response by wowza on April 22, 2008 had me rolling….
As for gadgets – got my share – usually received as the “bow” on gift packages. do I use them – rarely. But my appliances, my George Foreman, my blender and my mixer (hand held electric) absolutely.

I think color is a very appropriate label. Nobody is going to mistake who you’re talking about when you mention what color they are. You can spend a great deal of time trying to differentiate people when you blatantly ignore the obviouse.

I am actually looking to reconfigure my walk in pantry, yes be jealous of me, so I can put pull carts with gadgets on them so I can wheel them into the kitchen and not have to leave them out. Sure I can carry them, but my beautiful Asian wife finds them too heavy.

I will have a garage for the Kitchen Aid, food processor, juicer…but still be able to have them organized and easy to use.

What about a salad spinner??? I think that is the quintessential (middle/upper-class) white kitchen gadget du jour. Just this morning I was wishing I had one as I was shaking my wet spinach… I felt inadequate.

A steamer and a rice cooker are pretty much the same thing, I just have a rice cooker. What’s wrong with having a blender though? How else would you blend stuff? And… I need a sushi mat to make sushi… sorry I can’t do that with a knife and some pots like a master chef. I don’t have the other things you listed (I’m not white either… LOL).

I think you forgot to list a Jack LaLanne juicer. Maybe a George Foreman grill? No? Too much?

a waffle maker, a rice cooker, a steamer, a food processor, a panini press and a blender. They also have hand powered devices like flour sifters, ravioli crimpers, pizza cutters, potato ricers, and a sushi mat.

I friggin’ love my Barbour. I have the blackish-navy equestrian-length Bedale. That reminds me, I need to wax it before winter.

Oh yeah, back to kitchen toys. There is no doubt as to my whiteness. But I do use my stuff at least once or twice a week.

A couple years ago, I got sick of takeout and delivery food and decided I was finally going to learn to cook. To that end, I started buying the good s**t so I won’t ever have to buy it again.

My long-awaited matte gray KitchenAid mixer (a birthday present from my parents), is en route. Sur La Table has them on sale and is offering free shipping so I jumped. I plan on calling it Jesus Christ Jr. because when my dad found out how much my mom’s KA cost, he exclaimed, “Jesus Christ!” It’s been known as the Jesus Christ mixer ever since.

On the to-buy list:
* Pineapple corer
* Emile Henry pie plate (but not until I start baking more regularly)
* Juicer and pasta attachments for the KitchenAid. Took a class last year and the saffron papardelle we made was insanely good. Only problem is you need like 8 people to hold the sheets of dough it puts out. Unfortunately, I don’t think the other inhabitants of my apartment — Kitler and Eva — would be much help. Although Kitler does have frying pan paws …

[…] "Whole Foods is awesome" post. After all, it is something white people like (along with hummus and kitchen gadgets, both of which you can buy at Whole Foods!). But who cares? They are doing some serious good. I […]

waffle maker (yes but smaller then this one, how else to make waffles?), a rice cooker-wife got it, meh, a steamer no, a food processor had one, was a pice of crap, a panini press -no, and a blender-yeah cold drinks but Don’t use it much. They also have hand powered devices like flour sifters, ravioli crimpers, pizza cutters, potato ricers, and a sushi mat.-Nay to all except pizza cutter, do you want a knife for everything???

But, in order for them to truly enter into whitedom, they need to own the holy grail of white kitchens – the kitchen aid stand mixer (right).
I always wanted one, but the $5 at the church yard sale worked for me.

White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
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I have a Kitchenaid, which I got as a wedding gift, because I registered for it, because other white people told me it was the best thing ever, which I use about twice a year, but it sits on the counter year round. I also have an avocado slicer. I am this white person.

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[…] if it’s the growing popularity of celebrity chefs, the emergence of cooking appliances as status symbols, or the cult-like locavore movement, but suddenly everyone is a culinary expert and eating has […]

[…] her pasta rollers to attach to our Kitchenaid stand mixer (DPC and I are apparently the pinnacle of Stuff White People Like). She made the dough, and the two of us worked together to roll it out, and then she cut them by […]

My Mexican boyfriend was looking for a knife in my mom’s kitchen drawer. He picked up nearly every item in the drawer and asked the same question, “what’s this?” My replies were all different; ‘a strawberry huller’, ‘a zester’, ‘an apple corer’, ‘a tomato thingy’… His reply to every item name was, “why cant you use a knife”? He finally said with frustration, “white people have too many gadgets”. Here I sit 20 years later, white as notebook paper with too many gadgets in my own kitchen drawer. I agree, I believe you *can* use a knife for nearly everything, but… sometimes you just wanna use the tomato thingy. This is what separates societies: knives vs tomato thingies.

AssDasd, oh so clever, i will take that as my name now. Sorry, i mistaken answer for comment, so your comment sucks. It´s curious how you order me to get a life, you know nothing about me. About you, instead, i know enough: “This is what separates societies: knives vs tomato thingies.”

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Though any great chef can prepare fantastic meals with a knife and a few pots, white people believe that they need a full cadre of appliances and gadgets in their kitchen in order to live up to the pressure.

Kitchen gadgets! So true. I thought some of these things were universal. Last year, we had a homeless rapper sleeping on our couch for three months (my eldest son who makes beats met him selling CDs on a Hollywood street corner). One morning, I asked if he could make the coffee. Ten minutes later, he told me the coffee maker was broken–no coffee, just hot water. When I checked, I found he’d tried to make coffee with whole, not ground, beans. I thought *everybody* knew how a coffee maker worked. Guess not, but I didn’t have the heart to point out his mistake.

If he ever fulfills his dream of making it big, he’ll probably having some white woman making his coffee for him and he still won’t ever learn you have to grind the beans first.

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