I think it is because gay men put romance or sex before friendship. The moment you are in a relationship egos get involved. Moreover you have made a commitment to someone you think you know but you find out six months later is not who you thought he was. Why not make a commitment to friendship first? Why not use the model of two straight best friends rather than a man and a woman? I've been working on this approach but it feels I'm doing it alone. After my share of failed love affairs I just want deep loving friendship.

wow, why do they have be whores? dude, most men in general are scared to be in a monogamous relationship. i do not think it has anything to do with whether they are gay or straight. most men get scared when you mention the word

wow, why do they have be whores? dude, most men in general are scared to be in a monogamous relationship. i do not think it has anything to do with whether they are gay or straight. most men get scared when you mention the word

chayce saidSeriously, why? Is it wrong to be open and honest about relationships that you can talk about them maturely? Why does it freak people out?

Hmmm? Good question. I would suspect that the reason that relationship talks are scary to some guys is for many reasons but I'll break it down into only 3 reasons (in my own opinion).

Reason #1: When you are in a relationship it's usually with some you like, right? What helps make you like that person? It's usually based off of a preference, correct? Now start talking to someone about what you like in person in order to date and you'll quickly see that it sounds like a checklist and most people don't like being treated like a checklist especially if they don't measure up to what your preference/standards are so naturally they don't wanna hear it and in all honesty you shouldn't either because once you hear what you sound like (usually shallow and knit-picky as hell) it's not a pretty picture to view. This is a bad opening topic when meeting a stranger for the first time.

Reason #2: Talking about relationships is a waste of time if your audience isn't looking for a relationship to begin with or isn't looking for advice about them. It could easily be misinterpreted and given the fact that a lot people have different views and values on relationships they don't wanna be judged on them i.e open-relationships or long distance relationships. Think of all the posts on this site alone about just those two types of relationships and how easily they came under fire and scrutiny. No one wants their views bashed upon and judged in the process so rather then be open about it and bombed heavily they'd rather just not deal with. It's not a form of insecurity.

Reason # 3: A lot of people say a lot of things but whether they actually commit to what they say is a different story. Rather then be held to what they said it's just easier not to say anything at all and just let things flow. "Let the chips fall where they may" sort of speak.

These are just a few of my opinions as to why people don't like talking about relationships. The majority of folks who don't particularly enjoy the subject tend to be single too so that's something to thing about as well. I don't have problem it and I damn near pounce at the chance to talk about relationships just because it's a fun topic but that's just me. I can't speak for others.

chayce saidSeriously, why? Is it wrong to be open and honest about relationships that you can talk about them maturely? Why does it freak people out?

This reminds me of a story.

So there I was, balls deep in Laura Bush's muff when Barbara Boxer walks in. Well, long story short, we were all cuming like geysers all over these cupcakes we were making for my gay man's chorus group fundraiser.

Why do gay men not like to eat cupcakes?

See, you are asking us a question about a situation without explaining the situation and it makes it really difficult to answer the question.

Why do relationship talks scare people? Um, I don't know. It doesn't? Of all the relationship talks I have had only a couple have freaked anyone out, aside from the "let's break up" brand. So, I couldn't tell you why your talks are scaring boys. Be specific.

Maybe they feel that you are more in love with them than vice versa so they worry about hurting your feelings? And if they estimate that they probably won't fall in love with you they decide to break it off early. To not lead you on and to spare your feelings.

Relationship talks only freak people out when the people involved are not genuinely and completely into each other. That or they haven't made up their minds because they're still looking for the next best thing. I'd bet my life that NO ONE in his right mind would avoid a relationship talk if he's truly into his guy and he thinks he's found the right person to be in a relationship with.