Crazy about Kim Yo-jong!

Readers who are weary of the unending catfights between meat-munchers and veg-gobblers in this column (it really should be titled “Have Your Rant”) may be relieved to get a new topic to savour. There is a new love in my life (platonic, as always). Farewell to my Sweet Yingsy! Bitter tears fall as I read about her shopping in Beijing with her evil brother. (“Yingluck and Thaksin spotted shopping in Beijing,” same edition, front page). Hello to my new crush, Hot Yoey! I refer, of course, to Kim Yo-jong, Kim Jong-un’s kid sister, whose translucent, porcelain features grace page 3 of your Sunday edition.

Yes! It is no coincidence that her charming photo makes Hot Yoey the new Page Three Girl of The Nation. As an expert connoisseur in this field, I would give her the grade of B for beauty.

But I must chide The Nation for not providing more personal information about her, like for instance her measurements (TV clips showing her fully clothed suggest that she may be a bit dumpy) and her romantic preferences (I hope she has an insatiable lust for dirty old farangs).

A full-page centrefold would not be out of order, and would enliven the staid pages of The Nation. But this is asking for too much, and might trigger a diplomatic incident.

I eagerly look forward to following her career, hopefully in your columns, with multiple photos (big ones) showing as much flesh as is permissible in this puritanical, no-fun era.