Anthony Weiner Wants To Steal All Of Your Precious Goldline Coins

Anthony Weiner is trying to trick America into believing that teevee investment firm “Goldline” is a bit of a scam. What is with these liberals? Glenn Beck and Fred Thompson get it. They know that FDR issued an Executive Order and can confiscate all of your gold whenever he feels like it. That’s why buying every coin-thing from the Goldline telemarketer person is the last safe investment on earth. It’s painfully obvious that Anthony Weiner is trying to steal all of your commemorative NASCAR gold coins, so that he can melt them into worthless “Ameros.” Luckily you hid your Goldline coins in your XXL underwear drawer, and Anthony Weiner will never be able to locate them, since they will be camouflaged by your enormous underwear.

Weiner grew red-faced while slamming Scott Carter, executive vice president of Goldline International, for inaccurately portraying the value of the gold coins the company sells to its customers, many of whom hear about the company from its ads on Fox News and conservative talk radio shows. Several of the ads include the show hosts themselves explaining why buying from Goldline is a good investment.

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?