Bernie has been ill for some months and then suddenly dies. As is the custom, his wife Sadie puts an advert in the 'deaths' section of the Chronicle, but this advert is slightly unusual – it states that Bernie died of gonorrhoea. Immediately, a close friend of Bernie rings Sadie to complain.

"Sadie," he says, "you know full well that Bernie died of diarrhoea, not gonorrhoea, so why did you word the advert incorrectly?"

"I looked after Bernie day and night for over 3 months," replies Sadie, "so of course I know he died of diarrhoea, but I thought it would be better for people to remember Bernie as a great lover rather than the big sh*t he was."