Monday, August 15, 2005

Unexpected Discovery

I was outside pulling weeds in the backyard tonight. We have a serious infestation of crabgrass, no thanks to windblown seeds courtesy of the crabgrass jungle in the neighbor's backyard (which borders on a state of nature).

Homer grouses about mowing the lawn. ``Supposed to be the boy's job.'' Ned suggests Homer use some time-release granules to get rid of the crabgrass. Homer denies that he has any. Ned points out a few patches, ``There. There. And there's a big patch over there.''

"There's nothing wrong with crabgrass. It just has a bad name, that's all. Everyone would love it if it had a cute name like, eh, `elfgrass'. " -- Homer defending crabgrass against Flanders.

Hilarious! Back to my story...In the process of pulling up a patch of crabgrass reaching out of the patio bricks, I noticed something gold and shiny come up with the roots. Upon closer inspection, I was surprised to find that it was a sticker bearing the following message:

"Made in China"

Either it was the Guinness Book of World Records winner for the patch of crab grass with the deepest root system on the planet, or our trade deficit problem is more serious than I ever imagined!