Cross-border love -- especially if it centres around characters from India and Pakistan -- undoubtedly makes for an interesting conversation. But can the same be said about movies based on the subject? So far most Hindi films dealing with this theme have stuck to cliches, thus reducing onscreen characters to mere caricatures. Total Siyapaa is set in London, but it is forward-looking only in some parts. What works against it is the fact that the story wanders aimlessly ever so often and has several loose ends.

The film begins with an Indo-Pak couple keen on getting married. Here, the Indian girl (Yami Gautam) introduces her folks to her Pakistani boyfriend (Ali Zafar). And this turns out to be a terrible idea. To them belonging to different religions is perhaps not as big an issue as belonging to different countries. Zafar's character can't help but think of escaping the house as it becomes increasingly impossible for him to come across even one sensible soul. However, circumstances won't let him flee. And that's the part where the film gains momentum but only for a little while.

Still from Total Siyapaa

Though there are some enjoyable moments, certain subplots are totally lost on you. The film doesn't bother to explain why the character commits a particular act in the first place. Logic, like the pivotal soup can in the story, flies out of the window. This attitude culminates into a mishmash of events with the sole aim being of: getting to the climax before the night gets over.

As far as the acting is concerned, both protagonists are convincing in the film. Others, however, appear to be floating around for no good reason. Anupam Kher and Kirron Kher overwhelm you with their performances, but it appears that they don't relate to their eccentric roles. If only these characters were fleshed out properly, the film would have made for better viewing.

Other than one scene where there's a short quick-witted exchange between the two protagonists, there's not a single memorable quote in the entire film. There's hardly any romance in the film, and there isn't much comedy either.

All in all, Total Siyapaa is not a brilliant film and it's something you can watch just for the heck of it.