The Man.

29/11/2012

Surviving the Great Matatu Strike of 2012.

So here I am, stuck at Pawa254 for the moment because, well, matatu strike.

Why are they on strike, you ask? To have their grievances addressed, obviously.

"I know that. But what grievances?"

Not my concern. That's what you'll read in the papers tomorrow. Or watch it on the news tonight. If you'll get home in time for the news tonight.

Which brings me to the point of this little love note of mine.

A few tips to ensure you survive The Great Matatu Strike of 2012:

Go to a nearby supermarket. Buy a bottle of water. Drink that, and refill your bottle with water from the office dispenser. You need to be well hydrated for the walk home. And it would be a shame if you just bought water without the office chipping in. Your sweat, after all, is what paid for that water dispenser, right?

Update your music - on your phone, iThing or whatever it is you use. Last thing you need is to be bored as you walk home. Or listening to Celine Dion. Or worse: Boyz2Girls, WasteLife, n-Sink. [I forget their names.] Bleargh.

Charge your phone. Between the music and tweeting your frustrations away, a dead phone is not your friend. Especially when you see someone you know drive past you and you want to call them for a ride.

Leave the office now. A walk home would probably be best during daylight hours - unless, of course, you want to give your stuff to a more charitable cause. Which means if you hadn't #3... Sorry mate.

Do a quick Google search of the news today. With the amount of tweeting you'll need to do to stay entertained, we don't need to sound stupid, do we? Remember the UhuRuto story, for instance? There's a good one. A good angle to go with would be the prospect of them actually being in State House next year.

You're not a news person? No worries. Just head over to CrazyNairobian's Twitter feed and steal one of his jokes. Or an entire article perhaps, for your blog. Watching the hits come in as you walk would serve as proper distraction. Besides, no one would ever know. Plagiarism? That's a non-existent concept. Ask Larry Asego, Shaffie Weru, or Caroline Mutoko.

Today is as good a day as any to start carpooling, no? That, or we could each call our own cabbie and fill up the roads some more. Which is perfectly reasonable in our culture.

Just chill at the office, tweet away, have a ball on YouTube... Then go out. The rust-buckets that take over the routes at night would never go on strike.

I'd get to 10, but that would mean I'd need to think. I'm not in the mood. Besides, you can get there yourself, yes?