It's been like seven months since I've checked in with something that wasn't just about music or wrestling. Let's update.

1) I started and then stopped reading Neil Gaiman's Sandman books. There's only so much I can take of a surrogate fantasy character standing around overlooking a bunch of rocks and musing on dreams. That's why they have messageboards and books about spiders. Got through the first five books and tapped out.

2) I went to a Ring of Honor show and met a bunch of wrestlers who do too many moves and don't sell anything.

2b) AJ Styles, in walking from the autograph tables to the backstage area, accidentally kicked over some dude's can of Coke, locked eyes with me as I watched him do it, and then walked right past me like nothing happened.

2c) He later murdered Kyle O'Reilly with a flash tombstone piledriver.

3) I released an EP with my band Split Pricks. It's called Hang In There, Baby and it's pretty all right if you like Chavez and Polvo and fuzzy things.

4) I cut 16" off my hair. Sorry to the kid who is going to have a wig that smells like Taco Bell wrappers.

4b) I actually stopped eating Taco Bell and all other fast food back in December. Now I eat boring shit that grows in the earth.

5) I bought a van. Now all my bands can play out of town and I can get weird looks when I have to park in front of the preschool I work at.

6) I moved to a third floor apartment and I'm never moving again unless I get a Kindle and an iPod.

7) I interacted with Nick Hornby. I posted a status on Facebook that said "Let me tell you if a song is better or worse than 'Rock & Roll Hootchie Koo'" and he shared it, saying "The best service offered on the whole of the internet."

7b) There was more, but I'll spare you more nerdery. Let's let it rest at me being thrilled but also wanting to explain to him that his books didn't necessarily help me deal with my anxiety in talking to girls in college.

8) I bought a guitar shaped like a can opener.

8b) A fucking can opener!

9) My instrumental fun-house rock band Young Indian put out our second EP, Hardcore. It's a good time and a great way for us to get on DIY house shows that leave straight edge JUD JUD JUD bands very confused but somewhat pleased.

9b) For ten minutes at a time whe I feel like kicking shit over in my living room, Madball is the best band in the world.

10) I finished my novella, Soft, a 300+ chapter rock & roll morality play. I'm currently in the editing process and I hope to have it ready for the tour I'm booking.

10b) The tour I'm busy booking now, which is why this will be a short update. Check the dates below and help where you can!