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You know those economic models people are always talking about? The ones no average person ever sees, or knows anything about, but that are always dragged out to defend the actions of the marketplace. “Well, you know, every economic model predicts growth in this sector and blah blah blah.”

I have an idea for a new kind of economic model.

How about a model that does not allow concentrated wealth at the top, and poverty at the bottom? How about a model for a real, honest, middle class. I don’t know, it seems very basic to me… if people make enough money to afford a house, car, and to buy things, then they will. That’s what people do with money. That’s what a healthy economy is. It isn’t a huge majority of people getting minimum wage or barely more than it, having to borrow money from creditors with extortionist interest rates ensuring they can never pay them back, and thus having no money to spend. That’s a shitty economic model.

I say we develop an algorithm that does redistribute wealth. Not of individuals, but of corporations. Multi-National Corporations are incredibly efficient machines, and actually could be very useful models for the future. The trouble is, they do what they do at the expense of the working class. They do what they do by exploiting impoverished nations. They do what they do by paying their CEO’s billions, their shareholders millions, and their workers nothing. This is bullshit. The economic model we need is one that ensures if a company like Wal Mart or McDonalds or Starbucks is going to monopolize the landscape, going to dominate the marketplace, going to be employing such a huge percentage of the country … then they can damn well stop paying their employees minimum wage. And don’t give me the nonsense about how if they paid their employees a decent salary they couldn’t offer such low prices. Two things, one, if their employees were paid a decent salary, they could afford to pay slightly higher prices. Something Henry Ford understood:

“There is one rule for the industrialist and that is: Make the best quality of goods possible at the lowest cost possible, paying the highest wages possible.” – Henry Ford

He also hated Jews, but that’s not the point. The point is that the modern corporation has forgotten about paying the highest wages possible… and the best quality goods possible. Planned obsolescence rules the marketplace, and instead these companies spend billions and trillions on bureaucratic levels of customer service, complaint departments, extra cost warranties and convincing us that it’s okay when our brand new goods systematically break down the day after the warranty runs out. This is what happens when we stop demanding what we need and want, and start accepting what we’re told we should be happy to live with.

Secondly, why can these CEO’s and suits afford to write themselves billion dollar cheques with their ludicrous profits, and open new stores every five minutes, and not pay their workers enough to live on? They can, they just don’t want to. They live in a different world. A world of graphs and spreadsheets and hypothetical numbers. Not reality. This all goes back to the obnoxious quote thrown around during the last presidential election “Wall Street Vs. Main Street.”

Unfortunately this turned out to be nothing but meaningless political rhetoric (like there’s any other kind) but the substance of the quote is true. Wall Street doesn’t exist. Main street does. There’s no comparison. Wall street, the stock market, investors, investments, portfolios, these are a tiny, inconsequential fraction of the human beings who exist. They are gamblers. Nothing more. Nothing less. Their gambling addiction does not allow them the right to fuck the rest of society, and in turn the world, in the ass. Boo hoo, you don’t get to gamble the way you like to. Wah, wah, you want to make more money. Cry me a fucking river. Sociopaths. Every last one of them. And there’s no reason for the average, working human being (you know… pretty much all of us), to allow their present and future to be destroyed so some spoiled, stuff shirted gamblers can toss the dice at will.

This goes beyond Wall Street too. Investors in general are the problem. Investors and Creditors are nothing more than Lords and Money Lenders. They own all the land. They control all the money, and have the general populace in their back pocket. I recently read a number of articles on the Toronto Condo Market, which clearly outlines the issue I am talking about. Basically, over 60% of condo buyers in Toronto are investors. Not people who ever take up residence in the home. The investors are now upset because the rent isn’t rising steadily like they want it to so they can cash in on their investment. Well guess what assholes, that’s because REAL PEOPLE can’t afford to pay $2000-$5000 a month to live in what is basically a glorified apartment suite with nicer furniture. Same goes for the Vancouver housing market. No one with a normal job, even a very well paying one, could possibly afford a house in this city. And if you look inside the houses in both of these cities, you’ll often find plenty of residents renting out individual rooms, for astronomical prices. Yet these are considered ‘healthy’ economies. They are toxic, artificially inflated, and horrible economies. Time will reveal this reality. When will these market obsessed nitwits realize they are not above reality? Their economic models are false. They have been proven false across the globe. And yet, nobody seems to learn the underlying lesson.

Stop fucking over real people, so a handful of sociopathic assholes can get a quick fix.

Who the fuck is Danny Mendlow and why do I care what he has to say?

I am a comedian, an award-winning screenwriter and blah blah blah blah… this isn’t a job interview, it’s a blog. I do write, perform and produce comedy as well as various other artistic ventures, which means that I work a lot of menial, boring, low-level jobs to sustain myself and work very hard in what little spare time I have to one day succeed at what I actually enjoy doing. My mind is probably more suited for politics than anything. Trouble is, I hate politics, swear all the time, like to tell the truth and think that politicians are essentially pure 100% evil, and mostly useless. Deep down, I’m actually a decent human being who wants to contribute ideas which would make a better life for others… so clearly I have no place in politics.

This blog will primarily consist of socially critical rants about things that I hate about our species and perhaps some suggestions as to how things could be better… but won’t.

I hold no false hopes that something I write here will change humanity for the better. No, that would actually disprove every conclusion I have come to about the human organism. In essence, I believe we are a highly pompous, self-aggrandizing, self-important micro-organism with an inferiority complex, that won’t be alive much longer. I also believe the next 30 or 40 years will be a very interesting time. I believe a lot of bad things are going to happen and a lot of people are going to die. I only hope that after all those people die (whether from war, catastrophe, disease or best of all… all three!) Perhaps something different and somewhat more progressive will emerge.

I highly doubt that will be the case. More than likely we’re all headed for either the most boring or horrific time in history. Either way, I’ll keep writing.

If you like people who complain a lot about stuff but don’t take themselves all that seriously… then you’re in the right place!

maybe

Also, I hate the word blog. It’s a stupid fucking word and we should change it.

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