“Good luck with this one,” Shouta’s father told him, giving him a pat on the back as they made their way out of the room. “We always thought he’d spend his life alone with a bunch of cats, to be honest. Seemed how he was happiest.”

Shouta gave his dad an unimpressed look as Toshinori laughed nervously and said Shouta could still have a bunch of cats because he’d never have married Toshinori if he had had an objection to that plan. [2957]

Otou-san said things like that sometimes, about Itachi being better. As if it mattered that Itachi could have graduated the Academy before Sasuke if he and Kaa-chan hadn’t held him back, or that somehow Itachi always understood what their Otou-san tried to teach him better and at a younger age than his Nii-san.

Being able to hit a target didn’t help him understand people, especially the way they said one thing and did another, even when it was a regular day and not for a mission. And they didn’t understand him—that being good at being a shinobi didn’t mean he liked it or that he wanted it. He wasn’t cheating or doing in on purpose for attention, it was just the way he was. [6180]

"Kousa," she says, finishing as if he never interrupted. "Not very original, but cute. You think that'll be what you name your firstborn?" [10213]

[AMAZING arranged-marriage fic where Kiba and Shikamaru must combine two separate sets of cultural traditions to make a harmonious whole without ever really speaking to each other. There's character development! There's sorta-pining! There's lots of cute blushing! I really enjoyed this; it's definitely one of my new favorites.]

In Hamilton's darkest hour, it's surprising that the only person who understands him is the one he was sure wouldn't get him at all. Alpha/Beta/Omega Fic. Alternatively known as the one in which Hamilton and Jefferson slowly fall in love while Hamilton grieves the loss of Laurens and while, oh yeah, Hamilton is pregnant with Laurens' baby. [68,432]

[Possibly the only fic ever written where Jefferson is the most sympathetic character. The only fic I have ever read from Jefferson's POV! The premise is cracky, the summary unpromising, and yet. This fic is fucking gorgeous, unstoppable, an open psychic wound with a satisfying ending. The character development of both Jefferson and the baby made me weep.]

In her stiletto heeled Oxfords she easily topped seven feet, but she couldn't have weighed more than one sixty-- minus what must have been the twenty pounds of sequins that made up her tailcoat and top hat. And her bow tie. And her tuxedo shirt leotard. Her sky high legs were covered in fishnet with glittery spades, clubs, diamonds and hearts worked into the pattern. She had cheekbones you could see from space, large dark eyes, a bright red pout, and a huge mane of chestnut curls.

She was also, impossibly, familiar.

My phone went off. I reached for it, yanking my eyes away from her sashay across the stage.

(is that who it looks like???)

Hendricks despises text speak and excessive punctuation. He must have been even more startled than I was.

(didnt know he could actlly lose 5clck shdw), I responded.

[...]

I watched the stage out of the corner of my eye: the magician wrapped up her lipsynch with a shower of fake snow, and spread her arms wide for the crowd. "Hello, darlings! My name is Devine Copafeel--" of course it was.

[I don't know how I've never managed to bookmark this before; it's one of my favorites, and one of the few Dresden fics out there that is hysterically funny without sacrificing characterization.]

"You in there, Faraday? Never seen you so quiet," his voice was characteristically stable and pitched low, probably meant to be asking orphans about a house fire or something instead of a mercenary with a nice fire going inside his head, but Faraday still had nothing to say. He just blinked up at the tall man, lifting his hand a few inches off his lap and then letting it flop back down, exhausted. Nobody else said anything. Sam eventually moved to give Faraday his unobstructed view back.

"Well boys," Horne cut in, settling himself into the chair opposite of Faraday on the other side of the coffee table, "I will admit I expected him to be louder, and a fair bit whinier, but perhaps this is better. A blessing in disguise. We will always know when Joshua is sick now because it is so obvious." [2363]

While Gandalf explored the ruins and investigated the remains of those that had lived there, Bilbo walked along the ground, digging his toes into the dry, parched soil. There was life brewing underneath, he could feel it, it pulsed on the soles of his feet and it felt… peculiar and wrong and familiar, all at once. The orcs had grown something in the soil of Dol Guldur – but what? Bilbo was no green toe, but even he could tell the difference between a plant and this, whatever this was.

"What do you mean, what they grew?" Gandalf asked him suspiciously when he enquired about it. "They are orcs and goblins – they can grow nothing."

"I can feel it though," Bilbo said and poked the dry earth with his toes. "Something grows underneath – and it's dying."

Gandalf frowned deeply, watching him and then looking at the earth. "Hmrh… best leave it be and let it die, then. Whatever orcs grow can't be good."

Bilbo scowled after him as the wizard headed off to continue his investigation. Let it die? Let an earthen thing that grew on soil, sickly or not, die? What did Gandalf think he was – a Dwarf? [1906]

They've both been soldiers, and can cut to the bone when they need to, even if they feel their own selves bleeding, afterwards, and the win doesn't feel like a win. Henry's dragged Walt's better angels out of him kicking and screaming more times than he can count, and Walt reckons he's done his fair share of beating back Henry's demons.

Walt hates him for it, sometimes, Henry's unflinching honesty and the way he forces the same out of Walt. Loves him for it, too, he supposes, 'cause whenever the smoke's cleared, however it shakes down, they're both still standing. The longest time he's gone without forgiving Henry was three hours. The longest time Walt figures he's gone unforgiven himself is two days. [1135]

Joshua Faraday knows exactly how to blend in. He knows how to deflect attention he doesn't want and draw the attention he does. He's a master planner and he considers every possible outcome before making a decision. He has too many secrets not to.

After an accident leaves him injured and unable to perform, Clint Barton's life seems bleak. Things start to change after he meets the strangest man by accident (and he was in the circus, Clint knows strange). Sometimes life's a trial, and sometimes you just have to hold on and hope you survive the ride. [9622] [Cliche, but hella entertaining.]

“GODDAMIT WADE, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!” Clint was waving around the paper-wrapped...thing he found in the walk-in. It was...squishy. And the smell was indescribable, which was really saying something considering he had spent most of his life living in close quarters with animals and people who thought personal hygiene was a suggestion and not a requirement.

“My haggis!” He sounded delighted.

“Why the fuck do we have haggis in a bakery?”

“Haggis doesn’t need a reason, Clint. Haggis just is.”

It said a lot about what his life had become, Clint thought, that this somehow made perfect sense.

In the aftermath of Project Insight, after Sam and Steve bring in The Winter Soldier, what remains of S.H.I.E.L.D. manages to finally unravel the mysteries of the super-soldier serum. It falls to Steve to find the first two candidates for testing and he's suddenly faced with one of the biggest decisions of his life: who does he bring into the super-soldier family to double its number from two to four? He knows the answer he wants before he starts but he doesn't want to endanger the people he loves. Natasha isn't worried about herself but she refuses to risk Sam's life. Sam's ready for anything—so long as it makes him better at doing what he was made to do: protect this family he's chosen for himself. [14,203]

“This is a S.H.I.E.L.D. initiative. So, I guess it’s just me you have to convince.” Coulson shrugs. “But it’s going to take a lot of convincing if it’s not by the book, Steve. The last thing I want is to—”

“Spend time and resources on someone, give them a high security clearance, bring them into the inner circle, and then find out they work for Hydra?” Steve can’t keep the snap out of his voice. This has everyone on edge. “Yeah, it crossed my mind, too.”

Monroe looks at Nick, with his bright blue eyes and his silly teenage boy hair cut, and he thinks maybe it isn't so silly, that Barry thought they were together. It should be ridiculous, a Grimm and a Blutbad, and it kind of was, but right now, Monroe saw it as a whole different type of hilarious. It was trying to find every one's shoes at night when Barry and Roddy left to go out to eat, or slipping a few dollars in Gracie's pocket before she and Hansen left in the morning. It was Holly curled up on the floor with her head on Nick's knee waiting for her mom to come pick her up. It was beers at midnight, when the house was quiet, and coffee in the morning when it wasn't so peaceful. [8034]

“What? It’s totally an improvement. He’s not scowling, or dating bad guys, or slinking around in unsanitary places. Still a bit paranoid, but what can you do. At least he’s a lot easier to get along with when you can buy his affections with ear rubs.”

Fine. Alec threw another piece, then another, then he threw a piece at Eliot who was smirking. Eliot caught it, of course, and Alec realised he needed a better delivery system. Rubber band? No, that would still send only one piece at a time. Remote-controlled airplane? He could rig a drop-chute to dump popcorn on their heads, but that lost the satisfaction of flinging something at their heads.

Maybe a wide rubber band, that he could fit a few pieces in? Alec jumped up and went rummaging. Surely they had something suitable, someplace. [2312]

Genma is a very good assassin. He takes a job, takes a life, comes home, repeats. Then one day a stray genin shows up on his doorstep. And then another. Lonely assassin? Not so much. Try resident shinobi den mother. [15,594]

(In which Genma is a (very manly) mother hen, his apartment attracts strays, and all of his (bastard) friends are quite amused.)

[Pairings are mostly for the second fic, which is freaking HYSTERICAL.]

Naruto’s friends are gone, his lover is dying, Konoha is destroyed, and Madara’s second return has pushed the entire world to the brink. Hunted and harried, Naruto is sent back in time to upend Madara’s plan before it even starts, and sets about changing everything. Butterfly effect nothing: the world is at stake, and Naruto is hardly about to let it fall to ruin once more. Not while he’s still breathing. [128,352]

[Ridic amazing time-travel fic. I like this probably better than I do canon (except for its tragically low levels of Gai), and I usually honestly *hate* time-travel fic. If it was all like this I could be converted.

Also it's super freaking long! I didn't even read it as a full view fic, it's so long, and I _detest_ paging between chapters.]

Steve bought the heaviest comforters and softest blankets he could find, and made his bed with flannel sheets that warmed quickly to the skin, but Bucky couldn't spend his life in bed, and he couldn't wear a comforter out into the world. (Well, he could, Tony pointed out, but Bucky'd always been a little vain about his appearance, and he'd nixed the idea so quickly that Steve couldn't resist a tiny triumphant fist pump at how much of himself he'd finally gotten back.)

They both liked the soft, fleecy hoodies that were so popular with young people today, but they lacked something Steve couldn't quite put his finger on. It was only after he'd received a hand-knitted sweater from Doris Kaplinsky, one of the chorus girls he'd been on tour with so many years ago, that he figured out what to do.

When Steve comes into the kitchen, Bruce is whistling to himself by the stove. Steve can smell frying, and something sweet.

The specific identity of whatever he's making is hidden, blocked by Bruce's body and extra blocked by Clint, who's draped over Bruce and apparently doing his best to make sure it's burned to a crisp. Bruce, being Bruce, is doing an excellent job of ignoring everything unrelated to the job at hand.

Natasha is at the table, frowning at a crossword. She looks up when Steve comes to stand by her. He smiles down and she raises an eyebrow, flicking a look at the going-ons at the stove and rolling her eyes. Steve's smile widens. [1315]

Or: where Sam hadn't thought that buying Steve a flower crown would have escalated into what Tony dubs the great flower crown stint during which my tower turned into a hippie commune, Steve finds creative ways to confess his feelings and Bucky is entirely too happy to be at the receiving end of it. Also, Clint is regretting that he doesn't have SHIELD insurance anymore - his teeth might start to rot at some point soon. [5546]

In which wee tiny Parker and Alec steal Nate's things from him and then steal Nate from Russians, which favor he responds to by bleeding all over their stuff. Eliot saves the day and loses his patience, and Sophie is too busy Getting Stuff Accomplished for the whole mess. [11,856]

"Pick a side, and start packing. Transport leaves in thirty," Chuck told him, pointing a finger in warning. Raleigh really couldn't take him seriously though, since he was delicately wrapping Mako's tiny collection of tea cups in bits of newspaper while he said it.

"Transport?" On the table, Chuck's mp3 player was rigged to a pair of speakers and a women was prompting him to get ready to die.

"Chuck suggested we leave. I agreed," Mako explained. Raleigh could point out the sheer improbability of just packing up and leaving. They had the most recognizable faces on the planet. Between the three of them, they had enough popularity to bedazzle a small European nation.

Just after the end of their first five year mission, Jim and Bones buy an apartment together and take a sabbatical. The only problem is, Bones can't sleep. He really, really can't fucking sleep. [6546]

The surviving Jaeger pilots and their adopted children reunite for the second Christmas after they close the Breach.

Chuck is grumpy and doesn't understand babies, Mako is sensible, Raleigh is the most adorable size queen ever, and Herc is a little baffled by the whole thing and really cold. Good thing there are plenty of lumpy sweaters to go around. [6760]

"Oh," Jack said, soft and awed, and Sandy opened his arms desperately, pushed at Jack's shoulder to turn him towards him and opened his arms in instant, instinctive invitation. Jack gulped, swallowed silently, and then lunged forward. Then scooped Sandy up, so much larger and so much younger, and pulled Sandy in to rest against his wildly-beating heart. Frost spiraled down his arms and across Sandy's suit in his agitation, feathers of ice patterned into the grain of golden soul-sand, and Sandy cared not the slightest. He pressed as close, held as tightly, and hugged Jack as close as stubby arms could bring him.

Arthur pinched the inside corners of his eyes together and sighed, his initial elation at having received a letter from Merlin elbowed out of the way by irritation at actually having to read a letter from Merlin. His handwriting was atrocious, and trying to read this simple missive was like deciphering garbled, ancient text from a foreign land. Arthur half suspected he'd learnt his letters from a roving band of inebriated monkeys.

"The hell of it is, Radek was right. John's been trying out healthier recipes for weeks now, because seriously, Rodney eats more pastries and junk food than can possibly be good for him. He doesn't seem to be gaining weight from it-- he has the same sturdy, softish build now as the first time John saw him. John suspects that's because Rodney's diet was just as bad before he ever started coming to the bakery.

But John's the one making the pastries now, so he knows exactly how much sugar and butter Rodney's scarfing down and chattering through. And it's not like John's going to cut him off, so he goes with plan B: tricking him into eating healthier stuff." [8853]

One of Pepper’s favorite activities after a long day is putting on sci-fi movies and watching Tony dissect their bad science. He’ll happily spend two hours curled up against her and ranting about the flawed central plan in Armageddon and how REALLY, HE HOPES AN ASTEROID HEADS FOR EARTH, HE’LL SHOW HOLLYWOOD HOW TO REALISTICALLY AVOID AN EXTINCTION-LEVEL EVENT, DAMMIT. Pepper finds it oddly relaxing, like angry genius white noise. Add in Bruce, and she could sell tickets. [520]

No biography of Tony Stark, official or unofficial, will ever describe him as having become a father for the first time at age seventeen, drunk, in an engineering lab. Except, that's kind of what Tony did, looking back on it. [600]

(Or: I just wanted to write a snippet of Tony being fond of his robots. Also there can never be enough love for Jarvis. So here it is, Tony Stark, terrifying single parent of four precocious robots.)

Three small children are the only survivors of a horrible attack on a school. Ron Weasely decides that someone needs to look after them. He also decides that that someone needs the sort of help that only Remus Lupin can provide.

Gibbs is sitting behind his desk, reading glasses perched low on his nose. He gives Tony an absent-minded grunt as a greeting and then a “thanks” when Tony puts down the coffee on his desk, and then looks up. Gibbs catches Tony's gaze and holds it. Tony can't quite make out the emotion in Gibbs' eyes, something warm and intense and a little sad.

“My door is always unlocked,” Gibbs says, without any explanation. Tony's gotten quite good at Gibbs-speak; he figures it probably means “if your apartment is uninhabitable again for whatever reason, I have a bed for you”.

Many and various creatures had found refuge in Hagrid’s cottage, but Professor Snape was a new one on him. [22,345]

[Despite the title, this is a fic about Snape and Hagrid becoming friends, teaching each other valuable life lessons, falling in love, *and* having kinky magic!sex. Honestly, I mostly skip the sex scenes, not because they're *bad* but because the rest of the fic is so awesome I just want to dive right back into it.]