Friday, November 19, 2010

Its been months now since I blogged a single solitary word. Hell honestly I havent even written a word. Maybe its just time you know. Time I quit or time I just evolved a bit, and perhaps in the future go back to the poetry.

I have been thinking though, I may of done this to myself. I dont know, maybe I had my goals set way to high, maybe I messed up by putting an idea on something I love, and that drove away any or all ambition. And I don't want to say I have lost the ambition to write, sometimes, even if it's just for a milisecond, a line will pop in my head, a phrase or Ill see something random as I drive by that will never be replicated and that will inspire a spark of poetry. So I know its not dead, just in deep secular state of hybernation.

Recently I have been working two jobs, doing anything I can to make sure I have stability in life. Working towards becoming a paramedic, and honestly even though its hard, the schedule is demanding and most of the time it feels like I dont even make a move closer to where I feel I need and should be. I do love it, the feeling of actually accomplishing a short term goal to achieve a more definitive goal is amazing. Working towards something and seeing that it is possible, that an idea is unfolding tells me I am on my way to better or simplified days. Who knows I may just pick up some ink and scratch out a piece or two again. But one thing is for sure. I will always make some type of craft. Regardless if its a cd or frames or what ever. And just give them away.

I dont really see myself making it to where I can afford a decent living off of poetry. Ive come to terms with that and honestly I am fine with it. After all I am working two jobs, so finances will be met. But let face it no matter how good or bad people think I am I love this, and I am sorry but honestly I would make a 1000 cd's or poetry frames and people have them compared to making all that and if I am lucky sell 150. I create for myself first and foremost and if I inspire people along the way, to me thats the magic. I mean we are all just average people I dont care who you are. Its ego's for the most part that seperate people, those who do just because its write always succeed and go further than those just going out to get theirs. In my opinion though.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Thursday, August 26, 2010

And the music continues, yet now no words can descride it. Have I lost it? The will to write, to push out days with black ink on thin sheets of paper. I know Ive been writing but honestly it doesnt feel like ive written anything in months now. The fundraiser did mess me up. I missed my mark, and am not able to do the Delerium Projek as I have stated in previous blogs, but honestly it has put me in a funk, a depression. Now I feel I shouldnt go out and read any more. As if I am a failure, for this would of been an amazing event to accomplish. Yeah I put my own money in, but who cares, it didnt happen. Im not in the scene of poetry to be seen or make a scene. I wanted to give a message, to people. Wanted others to know that they are capable of anything and everything. But now I have to wonder, would people still listen to me. Am I still able to inspire people, I mean I did fail you know. And yes, I do realize I did give it a try, but still. Is it the actions or the intent that matters? I wanted to raise money for the abused women and children of indpls,. I wanted to support my fellow artist. And since news broke that I am not able to do the benefit, most have turned their backs on me. Thinking all I do is just talk, even though this would of been my 4th benefit.

I always looked at poetry as a way to inspire people, not as an attack on their soul. For words can make and break people. Ive broken too many, and decided to change my ways, and through time the changes I made became second nature to me. I do practice what I preach, yet I do know I can't walk on water or anything. But still, this has been very difficult for me. And I do know I am taking a new direction . Signed for EMT training, with the hopes of getting onthe fire department, as I do long for and want stability, and the only way I can achive this, is by providing it for me. As I just want a simple life. That is what we all want. When people say I want a regular life, to me it feels like they really saying they want a simple life. Away to pay the bills and just live a life they want. And for me becoming an EMT is away to do this. I can see myself doing this job, which does make it that more realistic, yet I still see myself writing performing. But should I, after all here I am, 29 yrs of age, and completely starting over. Constantly broke, barely able to pay bills, cup is always empty as its too much for me to fill at the moment, and perhaps this is a good thing. And with this new venture Ido feel lighter, you know. The question to go on haitus was a big one for me, and when I came to this conclusion, it was as if, I had no more answers to seek out.

I know I will always write, as its been a huge part of my life already,but now I want more, something new. And that newness is stability. Yet only in the coming days will all be revealed to me, will Decatur open up a new door, and if so will that door enhance the writing will it create opportunities for me, or will I finally see it as it is, and continue going towards my goal of now being an EMT and one day getting on a firedepartment... Its any ones guess...

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Questions on faith are only resolved with an inside investigation, remembered thinking. As everything is always in motion.

Recently I just got back form doing a successful tour, a festival and then realization hit me. Then I just kept at it. Bottom line I need to take a breather. For I was being one deminsional. And a break will be good, not too long, and If I feel the urge to write, then I will. But now things are moving again, and this time no pen, no paper, no device to mimic thunder is required. I lost my funding to do Projek Delerium. Crushed yes I was at first, and still am, it is and will be a sensative subject for me to speak about.

I do beleive though, that nothing is just random, somethings happen and we love the outcome, other times we hate the outcome, but a few common factors are always the same, Change, and the fact that we have to move with it not against. Moving right along with the change is how we deal life better, yes it is more difficult to do and easier to say. I will be the first to admit that, but still. And a breathe of fresh air, hits me,as I think this thought. Its kool, I do have a few shows lined yes. I have the Decatur writes conference, in Decatur Georgia, aswell as a feature spot at one of Indy's newest spoken word venue's. Poetry on the Patio, which is an awesome venue of if you ask me, on September 15th, and then I host the Westfield arts Festival. So I still be active, but sometimes we get more done if we just be. And take breaks, sometimes its how we get to the next level.

I mean besides the Tour and the Festival, I made a cd, with the Indianapolis band the Dwellers, titled New Feet for Your Worn down shoes, aswell. And that took a little under 6 months that has 15 tracks. All of this in less than 6 months, is not bad. Plus I do feel I have quality behind my work, behind my words, my work ethic, and I accomplished so many goals, that I had set up for myself. Now its break time. As I feel like Iam writing a life with invisible ink, on pages that are color coded clear plastic.

So now its the next phase, who knows whats next, for me. Maybe and most likely a bigger tour with happen, but for now, I am taking a breather. For at the end of the day I dont just wanna be apoet, I want to be me, and poetry is only side of me. Maybe now its time to jump out of an airplane at 15,000 feet again.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The water flows way wordly against the unknow births of Marshall. As stolen kisses can catch you in a web of bedded memories. Destinations are only revealed if you continue to go foward, as I often wonder is it alright for me to be me, can I allow myself to share the air I breathe, as too many times have I awaken under palets of angelic desires that were too heavy to roll out from, as I often complicate whats really simple. I dont know for sure any more, yet here I am writing more words, inhaling more stale smoke. See I dont know the rules that were manufactured by legistlated men in black robes. But I look around, and I see nothing but abundance, I know whats right, I feel whats wrong. Thin sheets of pillow made clouds begin to open up. Will I always be able see the sun kneel as the breeze releases unspoken stories of Carolina's post tramitic syndrome . What do I stand for, Love or the Unpopular Voice? How long does it take mountains to be pushed into shadows that lay quiet, restless, yet in motion? Closed caption is needed for those who are too poor to pay attention. Yet I see myself, on the road drifting into the present, creating my future, and writing my past., all at once. The process is

Everything is on fast foward. On Tuesday June 28th I left to start the Indie Poetry man tour, with Academic poet Stephen Paul Miller, NYC. And as soon as I got there, Stephen was showing my tricks of the trade on how to double your money when playing craps. It was a interesting way to meet my fellow traveler for the first time. Yet it seemed to fit. A story started to unfold. Then shortly after getting all settled in I put out a message via text and FaceBook, and none other than Tasha Jones, was getting back to me with in seconds. Telling me about the Bowery, Bar 1 and the NUYO. So I checked into the places and found out that the Nuyorican was the only venue having a open mic performance. The other places were for features only. So the tour started at the famous Nuyorician Poetry Cafe, started up by Miguel Pinero. many greats have graced that mic through out yrs, and it was a absolutely amazing. One more thing I say I accomplished, as this was a dream I have harbored since I was a teenager. One of my 1st poetry books I ever bought was the Nuyorican Poets Cafe anthology. I love that book and still have it this day. Little did I know I would be as well.

When I got there you have this feel of history that has been perserved there. The bar is the first thing you see when you enter the Nuyorican. Balcony stairs is on the left, yet I went straight to the first table by the stage. No way in the world would I miss having a front row seat at the NUYO wednesday slam. Blue Line the host, was awesome, funny,welcoming, charismatic, and a crowded starter. He got the people roaring with laughs, claps and foot stomps. The building was vibrating with in minutes of everything starting. I of course was last on the list, the 20th poet for the evening. I got 6th, 1.4 more points and I would of gotten in the top five, yet that didn't matter. I went to the NUYO to spit, be heard, and show them something different. And I did. I got nothing but respect, love and appreciation of some of the deadliest poets around. I succeed for I garnered the respect of my fellow poets and artistic peers. The next day it was straight to Charlotte to the wine up.

We left at midnight on thursday, and got Deborah callhounes house at 430 pm. Tired, feeling mentally thin, the only thing I could was simple, find out where the mic was at, and as I did my investigation by putting out a massive text message and a flag on facebook with in minutes again I found out that the Wine up which is hosted my Tavis Brunson was only one mile away, so away I went. And when I got there it was amazing, the place is decked out for poets. Tavis was awesome, as well as Maze Forever, Dani and Black Swan. A few of the local poets that are truely amazing. And it dawned on me. I am in the best community in the world. Unlike most we poets assist each other. Its not always about just getting ours and not helping out fellow poets. And they showed so much appreciation for there fellow traveling poet. They had the place booked, yet made sure that they made a time slot for me, and only knowing about my arrival about 40mins before hand. Now to me thats love people. The crowd much like the NUYO was caught off guard by my energy. I actually got into a little too much and stood up on the chairs, getting in the faces of the audience. Feeling more comfortable within my own skin. And able to make my performance more a one on one conversation. I had a blast. After the reading I sold a few cd's, got a burrito and went back to Deborah's for a little rest, for in the morning I would leave for Marshall N.C.

The town is amazing, in the middle of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Stephen and myself stayed in the F.B.I building. A old church that Lee Ann Brown bought and turned it into a venue for music and poetry. I wrote in the same room a preacher would write a surmon, and slept where the alter use to be, in the middle of the stage. And it dawned on me what I brilliant fitting place for a poet to read at. As we were the first poets, who spoke of wisdom, truth and honor. We didnt give rules of what to follow, we use metaphors much like religion, yet our metaphors are reach able with the in the human mind. Speaking of its alright to be afraid, yet its alright, we speak of life, the trials and the success of going through the travels of life to succeed. To allow the crowd to know we are just like you, for we are human too, and you can relate to us, as we relate to you. As we all have felt love, sadness, disappointment, fear, anxiety, and success in similair ways. Its just the faces and the timelines are different.

Soon after we arrived, we dropped our bags off and went to this family friends union party. It was amazing. Live music, food, people made their own pizzas with home made dough, the pizzas took about 1.5 hrs because they were cooked in a wood burning stove that was made out of stones. The evening there ended with a display of fire works that lasted about 30 minutes, absolutely amazing. Then we left back to town for a ware house after hrs party. Live music, good beer, and awesome people. I meets musicians, locals, soul singers and bleeders there. The back of the warehouse opened up to the town river on the rail road tracks. Fire dancers lit the tracks up and twirled fire as we drank sang and did improve poetry. Absolutly amazing. Then when the town woke up in the morning, everyone met at the local store, diner, cafe Good Stuff store. Billy Holiday was blaring, hung over locals from the night before slowly filed in one by one, with in seconds the place was packed. Orders of food were giving out for about two hours, to help those suffering from the night before. The next todays were very calm. I just walked the tracks, the town and wrote. Our host though were very hospitable. Lee Ann brown(poet St. Johns professor) and her husband Tony Ripp director and actor. One tuesday we went to the hot springs about 20 minutes south east from Marshall, and I could just melt away in the water. The minerals would just soak in my skin. Then off to Lee Ann's house for a lunch in the Mountains, then to the gig.

So relaxing it was having lunch in the mountains, you can hear what its meant to just be sound. Fresh organic fruits and veggie's. And then at about 6 pm off the the F.B.I building to do my last show. Anxiety was running in my blood as people entered the venue, awating a night of music and poetry by blue grass musican Larua Bossinger, poet Stephen Paul Miller and myself. We did the rockin robbing thing. Thats when each proformer reads or plays right in unision. One of the other. Stephen opened it up, followed by Laura, then myself. Laura was amazing, controlling the crowd with confidence and sincerity behind her performance while Stephen kept them all going with comical poetry, then when this mad man hit the stage, he didnt even know himself. I felt so different. Perhaps it was nerves, perhaps it was me changing. I saw myself and felt myself changing. More polished than ever, more comfortabel than any show or reading I have ever done. I felt what I am meant to do. The show lasted for about an hour in a half. After the reading we headed down the road to the local book store for a cd, book signing. Everyone came in. People bought merchandise, drank wine, socialized, then at about 1130 pm the evening was finally done. The town was ghostly quite, as people were returning to their homes along the river. Stephen and myself. Left back to Indianapolis to get ready for the Spoken Circus Fest on saturday.

We arrived at my house at about 830 in the morning, only stopping 4 times, for food, drinks, and restroom breaks. As soon as we arrived, Stephen crashed, and I got to work. Passing out fliers across the town for the event. About 250 is what I got done. Hitting the streets with determination. Getttin back, not taking a break and doing emails. Making a P.S.A announcement about the festival. Down loading it on youtube and face book. and sending it out to about 150 people, doing anything I could to court attention to this event. On Saturday only a few people came to attend, at first felt defeat, then after a moment I realized I gave a private concert with fire dancers, original reggae, poets, comedians, and expieremental rock. I just had my own expectations. Yet I refuse to give. Now this mad man is getting a early morning job, making meetings with other artist, the Julian Center, and the Madam walker Theatre for the art benefit Projek Delerium, which is for the abused women and children of the Julian Center. And thats it, Irealized I am going to continue to take big risks, and not always will I succeed, regardless I cant give up. I have to take into hand that these were my expectations, which is my problem. People at saturday nights even had a blast, and that with in its self is success. Now I have to get the invites, Tara Hardy's and Tristan silvermans transportation taken care of, The remaining money for the center, and Micheal Guinns airline ticket. And after that its let the dice roll. If I want to succeed, and be known as a poet, and a promoter for the arts and the community, I can't give up. I have to chaulk up my loses , get up, and proceed forward, one foot after the other...

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Monday, June 28, 2010

Anxiety begins to set into the pours of your skin, chest pulled tight, and your knees begin to jerk, you feel caught in a basawkard position, and then I remember, its ok to be me, I tell myself Ill share the air I breath, and swim through the rain. Because at the end of the day its ok to be me. I understand I have to take my time, and witnesses as many as I can new dawns. And when its time Ill leave with out any thought of return.

So I leave tomorrow morning for my 1st tour, NYC to Asheville NC, excited nervous, even a little scatter brain. Making sure I dont forget this or that, boarding pass, check. Bills paid, check. Directions from LGA to the village check. So much is happening. And it all started on Friday. I woke up, with no idea of how I am getting to the tour, actually I had not even thought about it, until then, and bam a ticket came. Out of the blue more or less and now this blogger is going to from Indy to NYC to Asheville's Leaf festival. And honestly until now I had no idea of its existance. No idea what it was or anything. And know that I do, and not only find out that I am reading that but that I have a feature spot. Yeah anxiety is in full swing. Not sure when I leave from NYC to Asheville, but I am driving down with Stephen Paul Miller, another amazing poet, who actually set all of this up.

The last week has been a productive week, I started on the frames and started selling them aswell. Almost immediately. I started on Saturday of last week, and until yesterday I was fully at it. Now though I have to focus on this, and continue the frames when I get back, but I have already sold two for sure, have orders for 8 more aswell. Its actually amazing to me, that something I made is wanted by people that not only know me, but people who dont know me are requesting them. That is a shocker, but a pleasant one. Also the cd is done. New Feet For Your Worn Down Shoes. 15 tracks. Six months of labor is finally done. And right when its complete, what happens. I found I am going on tour.

And when I get back from Asheville. Its straight to work on promoting the Spoken Circus Fest. We have fire dancer Beth McAmis, Comedian Jeff Hahn, musical appreances by Kwannza Popp and the IRB SOUND BAND The Dwellers, and featuring Indpls National Slam Team, and most of Indpls heaviest hitting poets, including. Mike C, Sleepy P, Adam"Henzbo" Henze, St. Peace aka Corey Ewing. Its an all night event, admission is 15 dollars, and people are encouraged to bring food, tents sleeping bags, and food. As everyone is welcome to camp out. Proceeds go to helping the arts of Indianapolis as well as helping fund the further developement of Projek Delerium. A art benefit in septemeber for The Julian Center, a shelter for abused women and children of Indianapolis. Which is being held at the prestigious Madam Walker theatre.

Its a wave I got, I have no idea if this is the begining of a career for me in poetry, or its just a flash in life, that I should just enjoy. Regardless, all I am going to do is enjoy the ride and have fun. Set no expectations, only to expect the unknown. And most importantly love it. Because at end of the day, this is a goal I have longed to achieve. Yet I am not surprised, appreciative yes, but not surprised for I did this. And I am going to keep going. For the rest of my life. As I am fortunate to know and to have known for over a decade, what I love. And that people is Poetry. I love this more than anything. I want to known for my work, for my love and for my contributions to the poetry community and the my community at hand.

Now though I much work ahead of me. Emails, to be complete, mailing of a few more frames. Making sure I have everything I need. And keep phone charged.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Imagery again takes the mic and direction everytime, its clear you can tell he is polished and a veternan as an Emcee. The place always starts out quite and ends up popping; All the time everytime. You never know what to except when you come here, only thing you know for sure is that's craziness is on the menu, and tonight is no exception. Mike C, has already been seen fishing around the place. And if you dont know Mike Carter, look him up on face book, his new book "Spare Change" is plaguing the streets of nap, with truth, cunning words, and raw talent.

As we speak more and more people are filling the Mid-Town Lounge. The place has a pulse, it the people, the poets, the spectators and Imagery are all vital to it. And if you dont know about it, and you live in Indianapolis, then you need to check it out.This is the place where Indianapolis roars on Sundaynights.And when Imagery begins to take the stage all is quite. You can hear a needle drop as he recites a poem. The crowd is already intrance by poets and their words, and its only 930 pm. Tonight is a night for poets. The tone is already laid instone, and its just started.

Indianpolis's own and one of its newest poets Brimstone takes to the mic first.Speaking metaphors and slick rhymes, hey may be new to the Indy scene of poetry but you can tell for sure he is no stranger to poetry, herself. Confidence, and originality runs deep in his words.A wonderful addition to something that has already taken formation. And when Brimstone vacated the stage, Mike C took over and a beat started to be ingnited in the air. And what Mike gives tonight is raw words from the street. Giving people words on how to change the future by looking back at the past and changing is the only way to spare ourselves from doom, Hence the title of his newest cd. Spare Change. More poets take to the stage as the night goes on, some regulars, yet some are new, regardless all are welcomed. And its why Mid Town not only survives, this place thrives..

One of the new readers who goes by the name of Edress L, And a new voice is always refreshing to us regulars, and actually she has a certain edge to herself, and when she started to sing, all was silent, And you can tell that she is shy, but wow, her sincerity filters through the air. Flavored with positivity and ownership of her words with confidence takes over the stage. And one has to wonder why has she not heard of this place before.

As the night goes on more spectators fill the building, Now halfway through its second hour, Mr.Tony Styxx is called up.A veternan poet, beat boxer. story teller actor and singer takes to the stage. And you can tell by Tony's presence alone that he knows how to command not only the mic, but the audience aswell, he fills Mid Town with words of knowledge and stories of redemption.Other new poets and singers included raynah and B real 7 filled the stage with power, emotion and raw power to quote Iggy and the stoogies.

Now for out feature act, Ken J from Atlanta Ga, he approaches the stage with a hint of humbleness, regardless of how long he has been on the road now, you get this feeling that even though he polished , that he is really humble and appreciated that he has the opportunity to do what he loves. He warms the crowd up, with a little humor. Treating the entire venue as if they were one person. He makes his performance very personal. And with his 1st single 3yrs and 8 days. He gets the crowd participation involved. Heads are bopping, hands are clapping. And this energy that is in the air, is simplicty, it's real, and the crowd gives back what they are receiving. Appreciation. Its amazing, Ken follows with four more songs, then exists the stage. The crowd gets up and gives a thunderous applause. This makes your blogger so thrilled about being apart of Mid Town poetry.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

And as the music begins . Strings start forming images of the past. You remember that bridges foster age old rain drops so time wont be forgotten. You begin to remember where to start. Suns kneel into the ground, and you feel it. In your viens, the music builds up,Requiem for a dream, streams waves that disolve into the pores of your skin. Now you have a way to write again. The chorus makes you enhance the moment, everything is in motion, yet frozen, all at the same time. So much now is onthe build up. Delivery services will be needed to be applied. As poetry is easily seen if you feel it. If you allow it to flow through you. Let it be the air that breaths your secrets, let it carry you to tunes that build four wall rooms with windows of arcane views. Which explodes into mundane shards of the sun. Now when you speak, you shatter the moon, and have to replace its pieces with a wordly thesis...

So I continue on. The readings are getting more and more popular. Word is out that this place is real. That it is unique and its aplace that you want to be heard from. And thats the secret you know. Making a place that makes people feel welcomed. That is how Mid-Town is getting its reputation, and how Lazy Daze has had such a long life line. People want to go and be apart of something if they feel appreciate, respected, and welcomed as well as encouraged to be who they are. Its an honor to be able to do this. To be able to do what I love, is a wonderful feeling. We had Mike C, as the feature, and people we read around a camp fire, we played poet tag, which means when your done you tag someone and bam you have to read. It was so much fun, then at the end of it. We stood around the fire, and read. One after another, yet it was not planned and heat lightning entertained us with shows in the sky as we read. It was truely magical. It was a night for poets, to speak. And when we spoke the sky spoke back in thunder and lightning. We were the power that night, and it was because of the energy. How intune with in ourselves we were..

Features are planned all the until july 9th for sure. And im booking more as we speak. Also words are coming to me easier, more internal changing is occuring in my soul, and I am able to project it better than ever. I am so at easy with my innerself. Intune with in the nature of who I am. I wonder nothing accept it is the only way to enjoy life.

The festival now has a name, The Spoke Circus Fest, almost have the full line-up, and when I do, times will be given out to the performers, fliers will be made, invites will be sent. Press kits are already sent out to local news papers aswell. And as soon as the festival is done, the benefit will in full pre-production. Getting all the details that need to be finished up will be. After all we have to remain to productive to be ablt to live a good life, right?

I am actually recording, well only two tracks left, and it's all done. I have a graphic design artist making the cover for it. Dreaming is no longer needed, for the heart beats that I dreamt are now becoming part of day life, for me.

I see everything that is matter that is being fused together. I have waited my whole life to live this way. Its funny, ive waited to be alive, how absured is that. Waiting to be alive. Now that is a poem with in its self. I think I shall retire people. And write, for that is one of the things I am, a writer..

Monday, June 14, 2010

Mid-Town Arts Coffee and Lounge which is located on the corner of 38th and Central is the place on Sunday night's for entertainment and poetry Hosted by Indianapolis's own Allen Imagery, Local poet, promoter, and graphic designer.

The place is always a hot-spot for Indianapolis poetry on Sunday Nights. Its been a staple inthe scene of Indiapolis poetry for 3 years now. Always progression, and now having out of state features on a regular basis. Known features of the past have been such as Maxwell Kessler from the Gringo Choir, Daynomi Irregularflow Thomas, Talaam Acee, Indianapolis's own Tasha Jones, and future greats such as Gabrielle Patterson, Nsaychable the poet and catered to some spoken word legends such as Ben Daveeb Isreal Nelson from the 1st spoken word group called the Last Poets. Tonight there is a intenisity in the air. Allen of course has the all the important mechanisms to be a good host. Personality, entertaining and welcoming. Its every sunday from 8 to midnight. Consider it a mini greenmill. I'm sure other cities all across the country have their venue and this is our venue. A venue for poets, with a thunderous upperdeck crowd that will heckle you when needed and cheer for you as well. Its only five dollars and always includes free food.The poets are always blazing and sincere, if it's a show your looking for in Indy, then Mid-town is where its at. You have national known features, amatuers, and poets in the making of breaking throught there career here. Now dont get me wrong though there are other brilliant spots such asThe Elbow Room poetry slam on the third Wednesday of everymonth. Writers block at Urban Elements on thursdays as well as Lazy Daze thats at the legendary Irvington Theatre on the same days. Then you have spoken word at Write On and The Word Gallery in Westfield Indiana on friday's aswell. So Mid Town is perfect for us poets and the spectators, Only one spot on Sunday so you won't be in a rush to get to any other venue on Sunday's,and soon open mic poetry at Local Only's on monday, aswell. So its clear that poetry is making waves in the city of Indianapolis. But Mid-town is a place that is considered a staple in poetry for Indy, everyone comes through here to read and be entertained.

Tonight's Features is national act Staci McCrakin and just by chance Tasha Jones and Def jam's Tommy Bottoms. And let me tell you Staci McCrakin who has a poised, yet powerful voice has a way about her, authentic humble yet strong. The crowd is inticitipating the her arrival to the Mic tonight, even as I type, yet we have another poet. Fourth poet in and the crowd the is just getting warmed up. Humidity maybe in the air outside, but inside at Midtown its electricfied words that plague the air. Words flow out and out from each poet, and they all own the mic in there way. The poets regardless amatuer or veternan have a way of making their short 7 to 10 minutes their own and very memorable. First timers are as welcomed as much as the regulars here. Its just another reason why Mid-Town is what it is here in Indianapolis, A legendary spot in the making. Perhaps one day, this place will be as known as Nuyorican, the Bowery in Ny, Ny, GreenMill chicago Ill, andHot Lyrical theatre in Atl...Now feature is up. Comfortable and poised as I said, just her and her guartist. The crowd now is now feeding from her hand sort of speak. A thunderous clap filters through the walls as Stacy transends from one song to another. Everyone sang in unision with her as she did her final son Once again an amazing night at SoulFull spoken word. Raw riffs, earth breaking lyrics and the vibrations of the crowd being into the music, is the tempature at Mid-town Lounge. So if you want a fun night with entertainment, sincere talent with words then MidTown is place to be..Until next time..

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

So I'm driving into the sun as it's kneeling into the horizon, music going. And all of the sudden I had a feeling that became over whelming. I finally figured out the secrets of flight from instructions on record. This is the time I will most cherrish when I am older I and aswell as regret (haha). I'm finally taking direction, no long just wandering around. No, I know have clarity about who I am, what I want, and I have a good idea where I want to end up. You always have to leave options open, only because no one is a soothsayer, no one can predict what will happen tomorrow.

I feel at peace now, life is slowly starting to unfold for me. Only because I took the first step and started to peel off the layers. Now it's just starting to happen. The benefit is coming together, but for the second I am putting it on the back burner only because that's the near future, and to ensure its place and its success, I must take care of certain other projects right now. I am now fully ready to make the frames for the paper I made that has poetry written on it, in calligraphery. Also the cd is complete, a few tracks have to be remastered, and Grover has to lay down his part, but besides that its complete. Everything is laid out, and now I am focusing on the order of the songs, and other small details, such as the transitions from songs to poems.

And when I heard the record at my producers house, Andrew Gustin. I was amazed, seriously. It sounded so perfect. Regardless if people like it or not is up to them. But I am very proud of all 30 tracks on it. And with out a doubt I can say with confidence that no one around here locally is or has made something like this. Its original, creative, special to me. And honestly the whole process was beautiful to me. Making music with others who just know how a piece is suppose to go regardless if its poetry or music is brilliance, especially when everyone in the room feels like that is where they belong at the moment, and not just myself. Im talking about all the artist involved. I'm so greatful, and to an extent I see more possibilities for myself. I feel it in my bones. I know have the instructions of flight down. Now its going to be time soon, that I fly.

I am seeing poetry in so many ways. I understand words and emotion better and clearer than ever before.I feel this change that is happening to me. Hell I see it in our community here Indy even. More poetry spots are still popping up. Erin Livingston, Adam"henzbo" and St. Peace are starting up a new reading aswell on Monday's at locals only soon. Having both in and out of state features weekly. With serious slams and with fun no nonsense slams. Mid-Town which is hosted by Allen Imagery is still thriving aswell. From up here where I live way up north past carmel to southern Indiana with what the Dog Woods are doing in Columbus and Bloomington back to downtown. Poetry is fluiding the streets and air waves. Its about to blow up, and if I have my way. I will be part of the reason it does. I seriously love poetry and writing. Nothing else not even sex feels as good to me compared to when I finish a new song or a new piece. And I know that may sound crazy but its true. Tis a awesome thing when one knows what they are meant to do and start doing it. Very few things can be more powerful. And its also very influential. Just like a Coltrane musicial. It makes me want to continue and see the completion of my projects, and want continue supporting the scene of art at hand. I feel more focused than ever, does that make me dangerous. I dont know, but I have the ability to do everything I need and want to do.

Take for example the weekly open mic I am hosting called the Word Gallery, that is also taking off. I have features booked all the way to the 9th of july, and am in heavy promotions for it aswell. The reading is becoming alive in so many ways. And honestly I feel people come out because they feel good about it. Its not the wine, or the food, yes that is a good gimmick and is a nice treat that most dont offer. But I sincerely think it's because they feel good about just being here. They feel appreciate, and safe to share their work. And that shows me I may just doing my job right.

See to me that is the main goal for a host. See the host is the least important person there. We have to be there regardless if one person or 80 people show up. We have to make an enviroment that is fun, and welcoming. And if people keep returning and new people keep showing up. Then it's clear I am on my way, in some shape or form.

And soon the reviews for Umbra's and Fort Dad will be up. I emailed my drafts to my editor and to a friend and when I get the critiques back. I will have officially become a reviewer of poetry as well. I know not all will go as plan, but this is exciting for me. I feel prevlidge to be ablt to start doing all of these projects. And yes, they will be seen through to completion. No going back, or half ass doing it.

But I also have the festival in July10th to organize as well. We have two comedians, fire dancers, the Dwellers, Kwanzaa Popps and IRB Sound world reggea band, and 25 poets to end the night. Im charging 15 bones a ticket, but people can camp out, bring food and drinks of any kind as well. And with a line up like that and with heavy promotions behind it, I know this will to be a success. And all of the funds are to go to me putting on the Delerium Projek to help raise money for the Julian Center and shelter for abused women and children.

All I want to do is be able to continue to pay my bills with my craft, be able to be productive with my craft, influence others and just have a fun simple life. And if someone tells you it's not possible, then prove them wrong. Because honestly all is possible, we make our own limitations. No one else does that for you but you. I refuse to live a life full of wishes. And yes, I do have to take the good with the bad, its not a trade off, for nothing is, but its how life goes, its the balance of it all.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

When you know what to you want to say yet dont know how to begin can turn out to be a stopper. Perhaps its getting a rhythm or getting caught up on the details that can make writing feel like its impossible, yet if you just start out with a word, then everything rolls together. So many things have happened. I moved up north, went on leave from my job and starting taking poetry in another level. I started hosting a weekly reading at gallerOne36 in westfield, Indiana, and I am getting paid for it.

Our first reading was intimate, yet really awesome. Nine people came, three read, we did it with no list, yet we had fun. People drove over 30 miles to come be apart of it. I took it as success. Now we have a feature, Maxwell Kessler from the east coast. Thanks to Corey Ewing, aka St. Peace. More people are coming more poets and spectators. And were doing it out side weather permitting of course. And were really fortunate to be doing it at a art gallery, I couldn't think of a better place to do a poetry reading. Plus were serve free wine and food.

On saturday I went to a fundraiser to help support the Indy slam team and help raise money for them to go the Knoxville, TN to compete. And honestly I had a blast, we did outside at the Indy hostel. The stage was really kool and it had only a few lights, yet the light always silhouetted the poets in a perfect way that it made the night and the poetry seem perfect. We raise quite a bit of money for them. And it got me thinking

Where I live now, is amazingly beautiful. And I had an idea, how about doing a fundraiser or a music festival here. Hell I have 5 acres, and a soccer field at my disposal. So I decided to put on a music, poetry festival fundraiser. We have Beth McAmis who is a fire dancer, Jeff Hahn doing stand up who by the way is one of the funniest people I have ever met, The Dwellers as well as a Reggea band playing and about 25 poets. Were charging 15 bones a head, but people can drink, bring food and alcohol, and camp if they want. And I have this feeling were going to get 300 to 500 people. All of the proceeds go to funding for the Delerium Projek. To help pay for the catering, the security, getting the tickets made for pay pal, the invites ect... I do have some of the expenses taken care of yet not all of them. So I am just hustling and thinking of ways I can do this. And honestly this feels brilliant, it really does.

Stephen Miller has now asked me to submit a bio for a show in Ashville as well. Everything that is happening is not overwhelming, but very exciting, yet it feels all right on time. I also recorded another song with my producer Andrew Gustin. True Make Believe Stories is the title of this piece. And I can't wait to hear feed back on it. I love it regardless of what people think, yet I am always wanting harsh critiques, I always take them as challenges, not rejections.

Bottom line I feel in on the right track. Im sure more obsticals will appear before me. I am certain of it infact. Perhaps tomorrow, or maybe in 10 years, but the more I go along, the more I realize this is what I am meant to do. I have to no questions asked. I feel fortunate to know what I am talented at, and more importantly I see a realistic way of getting my ideas out and maybe just maybe I can live off my craft. Pay my bills with it and as I have said many times live a simple life....

Yet in the mean time I have more work ahead of me, as usual. Meetings next week with the Madame Walker Theatre, getting the reading ready again for next friday, get the tickets bought so I can go to NY and meet Stephen Miller, and Bob Holman, and go on tour with Stephen as well. Get the entire line of the festival in July all summed up, and I have to get my website up next week. SO yeah I have more then 11teen things I need to complete. But hey its kool. Im busy, but Im doing what I love, and I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Im finally doing what I love to do, and Im starting to make a living at it.

So I guess all I can say is dont ever give up on who you are. Because if you dont, everything you want, need and dont see coming, comes your way. And that you deserve all you want, you just got to know it. Not believe it, or have faith. You just tell yourself out loud what you want. Be honest and all will happen..

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Well more has happened since my last posting. Learned a lot as well. Car got broken into, mini laptop, over 200 new unpublished pieces, the books for my first professional reviews on NotesOnFusion.com were all stolen. Plus my back passenger side window was shattered. But I did the only thing a person could do. The next day I immediately got on it. Ordered the pc, contacted Stephen Miller, and Eric Basso, and replaced the window. Which by the way was a little more expensive than I thought it would be. Thats what I get though for buying a foreign car. Oh well, now Im just waiting on the delivery of my new pc, and both books. So only time was lost, everything else was replaceable.

Things are constantly in motion, not one day so far has been with out something big happening. New opportunities keep appearing, and yet I find myself at a mental stand point. I do see what people mean when they say thinking gets in the way. Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes thinking is nothing less than a delay reaction. So some people want me to move in with them. They say they just want to help, help me attain stability, jump start my career. And honestly this is the scariest thing for me, only because I really dont know how to allow. I dont know how to let others do for me, like I have done for others. Its a new condition for me, as it appears clear to me that there is no catch, with them. But still, I'm moving again. And I am sick and tired of moving. I have to ask myself is me moving again getting me one step closer or further from having stability. I feel like I have lived so many lives in the past 29 years that now all I want and seek is a simple life. Thats it. I am fortunate though as I know what I dont want, and I have understanding what a simple life means to me.

I also got meetings on the way with both Mrs Kelly from the Madame Walker Theatre and Sandy Noe from the Julian Center. So I am moving foward in a positive direction with the benefit. We have already made progress for the Julian Center, as we just got a handsome pledge. Donor and amount remain confidentail, though. Only because the benefit has not happened yet. Now I have to look for graphic designers for the invites as well as a printing company to make copies. And its going to be an adventure.

Only because I need two different sets. One set for the art auction, and the other set is actually tickets for Saturday's event. Also have to create a pin pal account so I can have a another route to sell tickets. Honestly this may be my fourth benefit but I have never had to do all of this. I am moving up to the next level, as I have for every other benefit I have organized. That is how I can tell I am on the right track. Each one gets more polished than the last. So with out a doubt this may be a more of a challenge for me, but it's only making me better at this. Perhaps I can do these benefits once or twice a year. And as soon as I have pre-production done, I can focus on the next thing. Fine tuning the event itself. Except for the four features on saturday's event. I will have to organize rehearsals for it. Wow! the more I think about it the more I realize I have a full plate still.

Haven't worked on the cd in a week in a half, nor the books thats fine with me. At first I did have problems with it, but then it dawned on me. I have other things at this second the have to completed in order for me to be able to move foward in the direction that I feel is the best route for me. I have over 100 sheets of the crazy paper that I am holding in the picture that is on my blog. I am making frames for them, writing a few lines of poetry on each piece, applying a specific adhesive so the paper will last and selling them online, for 20 dollars a piece, that alone will help me get the other finances. I will have the money to continue getting the books and cd made as well as I can get the transportation for both Tristan and Tara from Chicago to Indy and back. Then the books will be done and I know they will sell as well. I already have a one and fourty three requests for the books. The signs are to obvious for me I have to keep going, regardless.

I want to work with more artist. I feel fortunate to work with the artist I already am. But there are so many more as well. I feel so fortunate to work with Alkemi, Billy Tuggle, Tristan Silverman, Tara Hardy, Gabby Patterson, Nsaychable, Allen Imagery, Stephen Paul Miller, Linda Sands, Eric Basso. People I have said it before and Ill say it again. Look up these artist. They are tomorrows greats who are living today. But still after this benefit there are more like I said at the begining. Racheal Mckibbens, Mike McGee, Buddy Wakefield, Karen FinneyFrock, And you can be sure that after I have this benefit done, but before it has happened, that I am working on the next benefit. Actually I have a idea who we are going to support next time. But still its way too early to even whisper that one, only because a realistic time frame to have that one would be in about a year from now. Which is about eight months after Projek Delerium

Could be entering a new line of work as well. Yeah I am still working at the airport, but I have a few possible up and coming auditions to do comercial voice overs. Lately people have been commenting my voice, and they say I should be doing commericals. So I asked around and little did I realize that a friend of mine has a few friends how are in that line of business. Some work or own their own agencies and others she knows do this for aliving. This is something I am investigating. It can potentially open up new doors for me, and perhaps this could be away I can actually afford to be productive and focus more on writing. benefits, workshops. This kind of a job would do more than just pay well, its not nearly as demanding of my time as the airport is. But unfortunately I can't quit that job, not until something else comes across my path that is for sure.

So bottom line I cannot get carried away. I am still just me Gregg, wanna be unpublished poet who works at the airport. But people you know what one of the beauties of life is. It's that everything does change, and sometimes our thoughts change our future. This is me at this second, but I tell myself I am a published successful poet. I will have everything I want, even though I have to work my ass off right now, and I am learning the ropes. But still, regardless things constantly change and who I will be in the future is what I am working so hard for in the present. We all have to tell ourselves both, what we see in the present, so we dont get carried away . Yet we have to remind ourselves of who we want to be. Its the only way we are going to want to take action and make it happen. Yet I refuse to give up on myself. You can say I have a head the size of texas, but I wont ever give up on me. So everything I have encountered so far has only made me better, sharper, and more determined, As you should feel as well, when life happens to you and you feel over whelmed.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Monday, May 10, 2010

Ok here I am once again at the computer,. It seems that is all I am doing, if I am not working either job working on the benefit or the cd/book, the reviews of Fort Dad and Umbra on NotesOnFusion.com, or I am either blogging. And it just dawned on me.People I am couch surfing. I stay at my friends art studio, my editors house or if I work a double and a switch I usually stay in a hotel room. And I am not complaining at all, honestly I am working harder than ever. I am saving every penny and working my ass off. Yet I have no place to call my own. And I have to wonder, am I really doing what's right? I try to be a very logical person and not get swept away in the moment too much. And when I asked myself this question, I automatically said yes. But then I asked myself am I being responsible, that I still haven't answered. I am paying my bills, working two jobs. Taking care of the benefit, and the saturday's poetry features travel arrangments. But still, shouldn't I be worried about this?

All I want to accomplish is, inspire people to be better tomorrow than what I was yesterday. When I read Kerouac, Ginsberg, Morrison, Corso, Holman, Carr or listen to Pearl Jam, Tom Waits, Miles or Robert Johnson to name of the few artist that influence me. I really wonder and ask myself can I really inspire others in a similiar way to how they those who I mentioned have inspired me. Can I really make people feel something with my words? Am I a fool for thinking I will be able to provide for myself or better yet a family with my craft and not have to worry about keeping the lights on? I just want to write.

Like I said in a earlier blog, when I was creating a new poem for the cd, I felt this feeling of beauty the lead me to discover that I was right where I should be at the moment. I really love this, more than sex, more than love, more than anything. I want to write, and I want to make people feel something, make them realize they can find their own way. Nothing is impossible.But the 64 thousand question is. What I have to say,is it really worth peoples time? Will they deam it important enough to read and digest? Will they appreciate my words,? Can they relate to them? And more importantly will people find and feel something personally inside themselves after they read what I have written? These questions I cannot answer. I can only put them out there and to see if and or how people respond.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Well the time is approaching, what exactly is around the corner I have no idea, but something is starting to brew in the wind. Stephen has been talking to me regularly about this idea he has called Indie Poetry Man. Its something that sounds very complicated, I cant reveal anything except its comparable to soft concrete and involves many other poets. And it looks like this mad man is going to New York in June. W'hat's going to happen, only time will tell, but perhaps blogging for the Critiphoria, which would be an amazing opportunity, Stephen has also mentioned about going to Ashville, to do some readings down there. What an amazing opportunity. I have only heard stories about how serious they take poetry in Ashville. It can make or break some one, kinda like the The Green Mill in Chicago or the Bowery in New York to name a few of the venues around the country that have such an impact on poetry and the scene poetry inhabits. But none the less adventures await in the near future and regardless of its outcome, stories,poems, prose's ect... will be hatch from these excursions that are heading this way.

Early today I went to my producers house after work and started working on a new piece for the cd. Its so amazing when you see whats in your mind become reality. And I mean down the smallest detail. But sometimes on a few pieces like the one we worked on today, really took me for a loop. I have to ask myself am I thinking too small regarding whats in my head. The reason why is because I can leave there, and he will constantly just work on a way to make the music bend to the words, and in a few days, I'll get a "yo" on my facebook page from Andrew, and I know he has something in mind.

So today when I went over after work. He was already playing the piano, just messing around on it. Then he began to play this melody and singing the words I wrote, and it was amazing. We ended up getting the structure for it down, and went over it four or five times, then we gave it a rest for the day. But in a few days this piece will be ready to be recorded, and I still have it in my head, its really catchy, yet really odd. They way the words and the music blends together is almost like an oxy-moron to me. Only because they are complete opposites of each other, yet the words makes the music all flow together and the music makes the words all roll together. I'm really feeling how powerful and beautiful it is when what your creating gets on such a roll, that it evolves naturally and becomes its own. Regardless I'm taking direction, hustling more than I ever had in my life on so many different projects, and I'm having the time of my life at it. All I can say is, it's a brilliant thing when you find what your meant to do for the rest of your life..

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Well its been a productive couple of days. On Monday I recieved Stephen Paul Miller's book Fort Dad. And actually am impressed with it. I especially thought how cool it was he got his son Noah Miller to do the illustration. And I'm excited as all get out to get my NotesOnFusion.com site up and running. And Fort Dad is gonna be my official blog review. And both Angela Summer's and Linda Sands have both graciously volunteered to to edit the review for me before it goes up on the web. Then after that I have Eric Basso's Umbra's for my second blog review.

I am also more excited now than ever about the city here and us poets, Jason Ammerman and Matthew D. Jackson were speaking at Central Middle School about poetry today. Thats proof, people are caring about poetry, about culture. Teaching a craft is a brilliant thing to do. And its proof to me that poetry is on the rise here. Even if they only inspire one person, thats one more poet. One more person why may actually do some good or maybe they reached 25. Regardless what a cool accomplishment.

Got a call by a fellow poet and frend Heidi -raw-Phillips Harris, a local benefit organizer here in Indianapolis who informed me she got the benefit an opera singer, except one thing. The singer is a 13 year old child, and I was on board the second I heard it. I couldn't think of a better way to open a night of art being sold for the women and children of Indinapolis at the Julian Center, then this. I feel that this benefit will do some real good for all here in the city. First and most importantly the women and children. It will also show the community that we artist support and respect them. By us selling our work to help raise money. In a city where sports dominates, we may actually have a chance to change that.

And don't get me wrong, I am not against the Colts, or the Pacer's. Its just were the ones creating something and giving back in away the sports cannot, and yet we get no appreciation. People we are the ones who matter. And it proves that when we artist sell our work to pay our bills, that art is real. It is not a ruse. Its just like a mechanic or a Lawyer getting paid to do what they do. Its expensive yes, but honestly its worth it. And when talking about money, actually we only need money to get the tools that are needed to get what we need done. Which is why I feel it is completely realistic to make aliving and pay your bills with your craft, what ever it maybe.

Been talking to Stephen Miller recently. About the book Fort Dad, as I said earlier and about a few other projects s well. He has spoken about a mini tour in North Carolina. And actually it's crazy to me to think about doing a tour with a professional poet. Yet we all get our start from somewhere, and each new level does require a new start. If you get my meaning. And if it would happen it would be a great way to sell the books as well as gain attention for the benefit. So if the adventure would happen. It may turn out to be a great and positive expierence that can only enhance, and open up more possibilities. But it does mean more responsibilities on my end. I have to be ahead of my bills and have extra money for it. I have to have the venues on lock down and I have no connections, but I have friends who do. So I'm sure its not impossible. ,

But for the moment nothing has happened, just a few phone calls, so there is no reason to get swept away. Now I have to concentrate on work, getting designs for the weekly poetry reading westfield, Indiana, that starts next friday, get a rental car for Tristan and Tara for when they drive down from Chicago, to Indianapolis, when they perform for the benefit. Find discounts and rates for the ticket to New York to talk to Stephen and Dominick about bloggin for the New Yorker, as well as get info and see about business donating their time to print the invites for the benefit in September. Plus I have to finish the book, that will ensure regardless everything else that is not paid for, will be done. And I have a feeling that people will buy these books. I dont need to say that again. Its just something I know, because this benefit will happen. No if's and or but's....

I guess the only advice I have is, keep hustling. In everything, at your job, in your outside job. Make sure you dont do what ever it is your doing at 30%. Make yourself give a 150%. It's exhausting yes, but its fun. And you feel so much better at the end of night about your day. Plus one day, and that day may take ten years or more, but that day will start to happen for you, and you wont even want to look back.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

I ve been hearing complaints and compliments about unity here in Indy, and this is jus t me remember that but all I see is success here. For I only see the community here getting tighter, The ones who love this are starting to break out in our own right

You know being a poet here in indy, is absolutely brilliant at the moment. It seems like so many people are starting to get careers in motion. Take the Reservoir DogWoods, Jason Ammerman, of Indianapolis, Matthew D, Jackson of Columbus, Indiana, Tony Brewer and Joseph Kershbaum of Bloomington. Four hard working poets, who have been around in this scene and helped built it to what this on the cusp of being. A mecca of Poetry,. Who are now starting their second tour as well as creating workshops and getting big names like Buddy Wakefield to perfrom at them. Also now on thursdaay we have both lazy daze at the Irvington and Urban Elements headed by writers bloc, on Fridays we have Earth house and Right On, then Sundays we have Mid –Town hosted by Allen Imagery that’s downtown as well. Its not exactly New York, Atlanta, Chi-town or Cali, but still were on our way. World be ready for Indy has some fearce poets armed with talent. Plus were getting features as well, it’s a great compliment to our community here. Plus on the second Wednesday, helmed by Erin Livingston. It’s a brilliant time to be here and ifyour , well Kiddies you should be. Currents are slowly changing and if u don’t believe me then watch from afar, and end up wishing you were apart of this, That’s how sure I am.

Today was kinda crazy after I got off of work, I recieved a call from Stephen Paul Miller who has many published books of poetry including Fort Dad which is going to my 1st blog review on NotesOnFusion.com. And there is a chance that this kid from Nap just may be blogger for the critiphoria. Nothing is set in stone but still. This could be an amazing opportunity. And regardless this is an expierence I cant pass down. But it got me thinking, if Im blogging for poets such as Eric Basso, Linda Sands, and Stephen, why not blog about us.

The local poets and musicians of Indpls. So I said screw it, I'm gonna do it. So besides bloggin about those writers and a few more. Im gonna blog about us, our new and upcoming events, books, cd's tours ect.. I mean its only advantageous for us to support each other its the only way we get any where worth while. Hey look at the beats, the fireside poets and ect... They were a community with-in themselves. And they ended up being remembered, studied, appreciated which lead to a timeless platform to be able to inspire others. Because like I said earlier in this blog, I feel a community forming, just like those before us who made it. So why not us.

And you know, people. If you dont realize that your thoughts create your reality. Then try this see if im lying, Look at your life, if all you see is shit, then perhaps if you just change your way of thought, then maybe they will disappear. Seriously, I don’t wanna say it’s a magic trick or anything you just end up over looking all those, You don’t see it, and slowly yet surely your life will change, success is only attained through never giving up, It sounds childish but it does happen. It may take six months or may two years, but screw it. Where we end up is alll that matters, plus it’s a fun ride, when it start to happens.. Im serious just don’t believe in yourself, know yourself. And see what happens when you start to be your true self..

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Ok so its been a few weeks since Ive made any progress regarding the books, yea I started on the cd, but still I havent made any paper in weeks. I feel like im slipping, getting comfortable and everyone knows that when you get comfortable you start to lax on a few things. Perhaps Im being too hard on myself. I mean tickets, and rooms are bought. And the original draft of thThe lists are being put together, regaring the line up, Ive got a few places where spoken word readings and slams might book is finally done, but still. Making paper is crucial, its the core of this specific project. Plus except for the 30/30, I havent written anything at all. Hell I just decided on my six words for the Scratch quarter writers contest that Linda is running.

I just kinda feel like I am inbetween the channels for the second. Dont really know if that makes any sense at all, to people but still. I want something, but honestly I really dont know what that is. And when I say that Im talking for the moment. And I guess we all want that feeling that everyday something really big is happening. And when it happens its like a drug, a rush of adrenaline that can never be replaced. Yet we all know it cant happen every day. We have to take comfort in the slow days, the days that are meant to just take time enjoy life and smell the flowers.Maybe this is all in my head. I am the kinda person that gets swept away at times, even when its a dead period. I could be thinking this is it, im not being productive, ect.... But still I just dont wanna slip in any comfort at least for the moment, not until I reach a plat form that I can be able to pay my bills with my craft, then perhaps I can take just a few moments and relish the non busy time.

I guess Im just needing patients within myself. I just have been putting off my goals for so long, or half ass doing them, that now after I finally started to take action and make things happen for myself, that this is kind of an old feeling, and I dont wanna repeat my past mistakes. Infact I would rather make new ones to learn from, that way at the end of the day I learned something new. Its just its been 10 years.. And I dont wanna waist one more second. You ever feel that way?

Monday, April 26, 2010

So the go daddy acount is set up, NotesOnFusion.com. And I got eight poems recorded and mastered to day, so it was a productive day. And being productive is always the best way to be. Kinda curious though how this is all gonna pan out. Regarding my career in writing. I mean lets be honest, this is all I have at the moment. I mean I do have friends, and family. But still, this is me. all me. I have to go at this alone, cuz we as adults have to make our path,. And our actions of the present creates our future. And if I fail at this, then what, being just another body, just punching in and out everday. Wasting a life instead of living a life. This is a chance I have to take, I know not all make it. But "honestly fuck it," is what I tell myself, Im capable as much as any one else. And that is what we should all tell our selves when it comes to making the life we personally want to live.

Its just honestly I have no safety net. It is kinda scary, I am taking a risk, and what is at risk is my future. Im spending my own money on all these ventures, including the benefit. And being rich is not my goal, my goal is to simply live and be able to pay my bills with my skills.Which in all reality I feel is how our society should be based on. Money is really nothing, especially since 1907 when one could no longer trade a dollar bill for a gold. Now money has only the value we put on it. Its easy to fall into the bullshit mentality of I need this or I need that. We only need the essentials, our tools to be able to function, to be able to pay our bills. Which is why I am risking so much. Do I want to work at the airport for the rest of my life and be living in a art studio in down town Indpls, nope, not at all. Dont get me wrong its fine for the moment. But I do have higher ambitions.

I am taking all the advice that has been given to me by those who are successful writers. Im pluggin my events. Bloggin about my progress, documenting what Im doing pretty much on a daily basis. Plus Im net working. And due to the fact that Ive encountered and befriended some really talented writers, who actually are some of the most sincere people I could have ever of had the prevlidge of befriending. I do see that I may be on my way, yet still, no one is a soothsayer. I have no idea whats gonna happen tomorrow which is why I realize and respect the chance Im taking.

Im just having a lot of eternal questions at the moment, as we all do . Which is probably a good thing, it keeps us from getting swept away, and keeps life in perspective.Plus I do wanna have an impact on people. A positive impact, as well as on those dearest to me in my personal and to my future readers. I do feel that as an poet, our goals should be to write with integrity, wisdom, self honesty. Its the only way were gonna reach our audience. And more importantly its the best way to show others that they can do anything as well. They just have to do it. Lead by example, and those who pay attention will lead with you side by side.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Well I guess today's blog wont be about the benefit at hand. Instead I think I'm gonna cover different ground and speak my opinions regarding the scene of poetry at hand. And just a reminder, these are just my opinions, if you feel like I'm talking about u specifically, Im not, well actually most likely I'm not, But still if u have to wonder that perhaps, I am talking about u to you...Hahaha.

First off let me just say, right now feels like the best time in the world to be a poet/writer. It does, I mean so many poets are starting to come together. I mean it seems to be that words are starting to matter again. As much as we are starting to become a society that has the mentality of needing what ever bullshit superficial things, it seems that words are starting to rise above the crest of this superficial society that were heading further into every day. Technology has also played a great role in it as well. Look at facebook, its a great way to network, plug ur events and or merchandise, also we have blog radio now, which opens up more avenues to be able to get the attention one needs to court to be able reach his or her own goals.. This is beautiful to me, and it also shows me that the times are achangin to quote Mr, Dylan. Also, it seems that for the most part this all has nothing but positive effects on us in our own communities.

But there is the down side to it. The pain in the ass side if you will. And by that I mean a few things. First off people out here pimping poetry, or as my room mate Alkemi would say, "people jacking off words" and I got to say I agree. It seems like every one is the best poet around yet and this is my opinion, but there is not one valid point these poets are making. They are just in the scene making a scene to just be seen. Hey dont hate on me, I'm just calling it how I see it. Some people have no idea what poetry is, they have no idea what it means to write a piece, And for those poets I highly recommend that you stop looking at you tube vids, go to the library or a local book store and see what real poetry is. It does not have to be clever, poetry has to have meaning, the original poets were story tellers, some want to call poets the original preachers, for poets spoke or speak of and about life in general. Its wisdom, emotion, but regardless it has to have meaning, if it does not then its just being clever and being a wordsmith, and being a word smith is a important character a poet should have, it also is a good work shop exercise. You know, strenghten your vocab, and teach yourself new styles, but dont let it encapsulate your idea of poetry.

But hey again this is my opinion, And again I still feel this is the best time to be a writer, and if you are, my advice is take advantage of all the assistance that comes ur way, and never ever loose sight of your goal regarding writing or the arts, even if it takes 15 yrs to jump start ur career, why, cuz honestly it will be worth it..

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Well got the week off of work, From Sunday to Thursday, most would consider this brief break as a vacation, with no pay. I took this as an opportunity. Haven't written at all this week, well except for my daily text messages. But really havent worked on poetry or the short story, which I feel is a must only because of Linda's scratch contest. I going to do another sestina. Since Linda introduced me to that style of poetry I'm hooked like a kid on cheeto's. But honestly I hustled this week.

On Sunday I went on blog radio, and got interviewed byMicheal Guinn. Most know him but I dont. The man seems to have contacts and techniques that could be useful to me. I told him on the air what I was doing, regarding the benefit and the books And he loved it. Honestly he seemed kinda shocked to hear that I am 29 yrs old. And thinks it crazy that I am paying for this out of my own pocket. I just told him I am earning my stripes, and he replied, you earned your stripes four years ago, when you did your 1st one. Honestly it made me feel good hearing that. Not that I am looking for pats on the back or anything. Infact I am completely against that type of mentality. But the acknowledgement is greatful, which is some of the reason why we artist do what we do, We all want to be remembered. To be considered as one of the greats, is always one thinks about from time to time, dont let them lie to u either. We are all people, we all want appreciation for our work, and some of us want to inspire others, and honestly in order to do that you must be known, you have to be famous. But thats not a bad thing. As long as your reasons are to be able to be productive as well as inspire. In my opinion only though..

But still I have much work that has to be done, have to get the cd's completed. But recording is gonna start on may 3rd. So the books should be done by the 1st of June. Have to set up pay pal accounts for the benefit and the books too, And hopefully I can sell them all, at 20 dollars apiece that 6 grand which means the whole benefit would be taken care of. And just incase people are wondering in the pic on top of the blog is the paper Ive made thats gonna be the book. I have actually hand crafted the paper and written in caligraphery the poetry. Plus it comes with a cd, I dont think that 20 dollars is too much to ask. This is poetry turned into art. Plus no one around that I atleast know is doing this. But it is a big ass world so honestly who knows, right?

But got Tara's ticket, and rooms for pretty much nothing. So I have to be heading in the right direction. Which is something I will have to remember as the time gets closer who knows what will happen, I have to remain focused and not get caught up in anything, cuz if I do, I feel I may loose this. This chance to actually have a career in the arts, to be able to write poetry, have and support a family with my craft is also another goal, I want to achieve. And you know what I am a human being so I cant think of a reason why Its not possible.

And I guess thats what other people should realize as well, EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE. And that is one of the thoughts I always tell myself when life feels too overwhelming.

But until I can feel I have anything really accomplished I have to have invites done and in my hand., But I think Im gonna have the invites done for free regarding the prints. Home Depot has expressed interest and are wanting to hear what Im doing. I think I may get them do donate the actually invites which would be great. Im also always open for advices as well. This is my 1st big benefit and I want it to be polished. I want to do this for the rest of my life and be able to pay the bills with the success I get from it. So if any one who has anything they can offer, advice, contacts, ect... Please let me know.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Things are starting to happen a lot faster now. I'm starting to feel as if I'm over my head regarding the people I'm starting to meet. And I'm not saying its a bad thing, It's just crazy to me.

A lot has happened since the last time I blogged anything. The venue is paid for,I'm still looking for 5 more visual artist for the black tie event on friday, though. Soon it will be time to get my graphic designers together to brain storm some invites, Then is the pluggin of the event. Then there isCourting positive attention. Doing everything I can to ensure that we sell out. I mean the Madam Walker theatre ballroom holds 350 people. Im thinking about tickets for friday's event to be 50 dollars a ticket, and half of that goes to the Julian Center as well. I mean think about 50 times 350 then u take half of that and right there alone17,500 dollars and half of that right there goes to the Women and Chiildren of the Julian Center, not including the prices of art, which is the same, the artist and the Julian Center split that. Then there is the Saturday poetry event, tickets for that are gonna be 13.50 in advace and 17.00 dollars at the door.

I have no idea how I got them, but I got some amazing out of state talent flying in. Tara Hardy, Tristan Silverman, Billy Tuggle, and Daynomi Irregular-flow Thomas, to participate. Plus some of our best local talent participating in as well, Gaberialla Patterson, Aklemi Bayette, Erin Lingston, Adam Henzbo, the list goes on and on and on. And to boot that we actually got 6th graders to make the care packages for the event. Now see how Im feeling like Im over my head here. All I am is a just a average guy who loves poetry and wants to do something with it. I live in Indianapolis, completely unknown, and doing pretty much all of this on my own. I also have yet to find grants that are available for this type of an event.

I also just got published in the critiphoria, an online poetry zine that was put together by some other poets, such as Dominick Casazza, Stephen Paul Miller, Bob Holman, and Jen Hofer just to name a few. Honestly I didnt even , I befriended Stephen P. Miller on face book, he asked me to email him a few poems, so I did then bam. The next thing I know I get an email from Stephen saying I've been selected to be in it. Then a few weeks later I emailed him, just thanking him,and then I got a call on the cell and it was Stephen. Now I.m being asked to write a review on his book Fort Dad, and honestly Im really impressed with it. And I cant help but feel like a lucky fool that Ive been asked to do this. And maybe blog for the critiphoria.

And it got me thinking, since im doing an online blog journal about me attempting to jump start a career in writing, blogging and poetry. Why not have another blog that is specifically used for reviews to help plug more artist work, and to critic it as well. I mean honestly any exposure is good exposer for the most part, right? So I imagine Ill have that up and running in about a week or less. Honestly with in a month I plan on having a total of 5 different blogs up and running that will be added with in a month. So if anybody does read this and you happen to be an artist, please feel free to get ahold of me on facebook, its under Gregg DeBoor, trust me that there is only one person with that name on if, also you can email me at greggmcroy@yahoo.com as well.

But at this second I have to continue focusing on my job at the airport, getting the rest of the books and the cd for the same book and getting the transportation taken care of aswell for my features. Securing my transportation down to the Decatur Georgia Writers conference. Thats when I can focus on the next stage, the bloggs, the weekly reading and poetry workshop up north here in Indy. Im thinking off calling it, Art Speaks at Gallery 136. Never taught a workshop, been to a few so I have a good idea on how they go but never ran one. Hopping its gonna be fun. I mean honestly thats the key right? If you the person who is in charge is having fun with what your doing, then wont every one else have fun as well?

Well thats it for me...

Remember be good at what u do or at least dont get caught doing itYour average schmuck

Monday, March 29, 2010

You know here I am 29 yrs old, and honestly I feel like I'm learning everything all over for the first time. Im learning to apply what I ever always known what I should do,. But in the past, I either wasn't focused, or just didn't beleive it was possible. So I guess you can say everything is right on time.

As here I am on the verge of putting on the a huge benefit here in Indianapolis. On September 10th and 11th. For the abused women and children at the Julian Center. I somehow got together some of the cities biggest artist of all mediums to be apart of it, including Alkemi, aka Mikeal Jordan(break thru painter who resides here in Indianapolis) . Were doing a black tie art auction on friday and on saturday we have live entertainment, community art work, and four national features Tara Hardy, Tristan Silverman, Daynomi Irregular Flow Thomas, and Billy Tuggle. At of all places the Madame Walker Theatre. Wow, do I feel a little out of my league.You bet.

All I am is a just a guy who works a medicro job at the airport, and constantly writes. Do I have funding yet. Nope. In fact most likely this will come out of my pocket. But I feel this has to be done. NO if's and's or but's. This is what I am, an ARTIST. And if I want it to flourish, I have to be good to her. That's just how it works.

To raise money, Im making books. Actually I'm currently making the paper, for the books. Writing the poetry in calligraphy, and scanning it on to the paper Ive made. 3000 pages, for 300 books. That's 30 pages a book, also recording a spoken word cd for the same book, so that an additional 300 cd's. With the extra paper im making, I'm planning on framing some of them in hand crafted frames for decoration. Bottom line I'm doing everything I can to make this happen. I want people to know that everything is possible. I mean a year ago my life was completely different.

I was engaged to a woman who had two kids, big three story house, big yard. The whole every day life. Yet It didn't feel right. I wasn't being me. Doing what I knew I should be doing. Them shortly after we split, lost job became homeless, blah blah blah. In other words times were rough. But one thing I did started to put things into motion. Little did I realize, perhaps it was because I was caught up in what was going on in my mind, but I was going to readings again, kiking it with artist, my peers. Going with Nsaychable and to 1st fridays, doing out of town readings. Yet certain things were dying. It was my past. As things continued to get harder, I still stayed persistant. And in the process I started writing better and better. I discovered in old words a new vocablary. Then bam went out of sight for about 17 days, went to jail. Came out, and immediately things changed. I was asking to do features. Which kept me going for gas and food until I landed a job and recieved my 1st paycheck. Three days later landed that. Shortly after that I met Alkemi and his son Raii. Father and son who are some of indy's best talent.

Alkemi is honestly great. His state of mind alone is what strength should be. I feel like a student sometimes. While his son Raii, is a calm methodical producer of beats. I look at Alkemi's paintings watching him paint and I wonder what did people feel like when they were watching Dali, cuz I'm that person, The lucky audience that watches time lines be documented, with his paintings. Yet it also keeps me productive. I should say makes me want to continue to be productive. It reminds me of what I want to accomplish.

And here I am people. 29th constantly broke hah, but im cool. Im putting on a huge art benefit for the Women and Children of the Julian Center, im published in the Critiphoria, talking to the Numa art council about hosting a festival. And going to Decatur Ga for my 1st writers convention.

I honestly have no idea how everything will happen.My cup is empty, but I know it will. Its not a belief. I will accomplish my goals. And I guess I want to show everyone that everything is possible. What ever u want, will happen. Our thoughts program our actions, and our actions create our past.

I mean do u trust what u have seen and know, or do u trust a belief and someone's word?

Next thing on the menu is how do I get publish, teach poetry, create work shop? This is my job, this is what I'm meant to do. But I cant do it alone. None of us can, we have to use our friends, and at the same time allow our friends to use us. We help each other its how we succeed. Its common sense.

About Me

feeding ears with undheard of prayers since in the year of our lord 1980. Loves people for the most part. Loves poetry, meeting new artist and reading pretty much anything(if I can find the time) Organizing art benefits that bring the community and the art together. And just wants to inspire people to be what they want to be. To show people that everything is possible.