Experts Trigger Spider Invasion Panic

Experts are throwing the nation into a panic again, this time warning that some sort of mass spider invasion is under way. 150 million of them are coming, they say, as they head into houses to have sex with each other in our fruit bowls. That's why your bananas have brown patches on them in the morning.

The story goes that it was a good summer for flies thanks in part to the efforts of the Birmingham binmen strike and the warm and wet weather, hence it was a good summer for spiders, as experts say they eat flies. So there might be more of them about than usual this autumn, coming into the house, with any particularly big ones getting on the news when there's not much else to talk about.

150 million spiders is only about five extra spiders per UK household, though. You probably won't notice five extra spiders, as they only come out to walk over your face while you're sleeping. [Metro]