Sunday, December 09, 2007

Seasonal Television!

Ah, a cold and snowy Sunday night. Mr. Sweetie is off on another business trip, and the kidlets are taking care of themselves. It's a night of sorting laundry and watching cheesy movies on television. And what do we have on screen tonight? A "Christmas" movie on the "ABC Family" channel called Holiday in Handcuffs. Which is to Christmas movies what The Love Boat was to Saturday night television--slightly romantic, less "naughty" than it thinks it is, wholly unbelievable story about people who are complete strangers who end up in love after only three days!

This one stars Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez as the unlikely couple, and the plot really does not matter. I'm not kidding. It really doesn't. Trust me. I watched totally watched it for Mario Lopez's dimples, which were as completely charming as ever.

What surprised me, was the Dad. Melissa Joan Hart's movie dad was played by, well, he looked like George W. Bush, only slightly less chimp-ish.

This is Timothy Bottoms! Timothy Bottoms! I couldn't believe it. I mean, Timothy Bottoms used to be in big deal movies--according to IMDB, he was in Paper Chase, he was in The Last Picture Show, he was in Look Homeward Angel! Now he's in an off-brand cable movie with Sabrina the Teen Age Witch and Slater from Saved By The Bell, and he's billed lower than Markie Post and June Lockhart! His character doesn't even have a name--he's listed as "Dad Chandler."

I have vivid memories of being introduced to Timothy Bottoms in the TV miniseries version of John Steinbeck's East of Eden, where he tended to gaze off into the middle distance while Jane Seymour (later to become television's Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, as well as a Star who Dances) proceeded to act circles around him. But still!

It turns out that Timothy Bottoms has, in fact, played George Bush for a Comedy Central series that I have never seen, called "That's My Bush!" so I'm not the only one who thinks he looks like our Primate In Chief.

It sure made it hard for me to warm up to him as a father figure, that's for sure.

As predictable as this movie was, it did have some nice touches. I actually laughed as Markie Post shows Mario Lopez to his room, and Melissa Joan Hart takes a stand. "Mother, I am 27 years old. I am going to stay in the same room as my boyfriend and that's all there is to it." The next scene, we see they have been given the room with the bunk bed.