Without any time for consideration, I chose Surgery B. Death over Diarrhea.

"Why?" the speaker at the Medical Decision Making talk I was attending asked the few of us who selected Surgery B.

For whatever reason when I thought about me having colon cancer I imagine I'm old.
Not that I know anything about age incidence and colon cancer.
And of course my children are financially independent and my life insurance and estate will be my parting gifts.

A bunch of stuff might be medically wrong with me at that age anyway.

And while it sounds dark, death is a certainty at some point.

If I die in surgery B I won't care. I'm dead. I can't care.

Both surgeries come with a possibility of survival and a possibility of death. More chance I get cured than not. I also have a notion that because something highly unlikely medically already happened to me I've paid my dues. I understand this isn't an accurate notion at all. But I have it nonetheless.

Something about Surgery B seems braver to me. I've not really thought much about old lady Jamie but I would like to think she's brave. Then again, I think about life with the aforementioned complications. I would probably find humor in them because, well, I would have to.