i would be your catfish friend and drive such lonely
thoughts from your mind...

Friday, July 8, 2011

Fresh outta batteries, but STILL MAKIN' NOISE, MAKIN' NOISE!!!!!!

I love that part.

Anyway. Running on, once again, very little sleep with alot to do. Of course this all seems very counter-productive since I'm tired and therefore move more slowly, but I do find that I am occasionally more forward-moving when I am in this state. I don't trust myself at all, but at least something will happen.

This morning: gym membership secured for three months. God-awful costly, but worth it because if I pony up that much dough I'm almost sure to take advantage of it, even if it is only 30 minutes after work in the morning. Worked out fairly well for me today, it seems that only middle aged ladies and weight-lifting obsessed dudes use the gym in the early mornings. I also now have access to the pool and the aerobics classes, but I will not use those. I hate fitness classes. Evil things. Nasty things. But anyway. If I can stick to this semi-schedule-- going to work, getting off work, going to gym, showering, writing/reading, errand-running (as needed), returning home for sleep and then awaking at 9 to leave for work again, all will be well (and all manner of things will be well). This will of course take some getting used to, because once again I have returned to my usual method of coping with overnights which amounts to sleeping all day, especially now that most of my cohabitaters (tors?) have left me for christian camp and i am thus left alone most of the time. mmm. which i enjoy, don't get me wrong, however there is nothing left to motivate me to NOT sleep all of the time. And oversleeping is just as bad as undersleeping.

Undersleeping?

I was just talking to my friend on the phone and for the life of me could not say "groundbreaking." Exhaustion symptom, methinks.

Last night another lady fell. She rolled right out of bed. I peeked into her room to check on her only to see that she had vanished (impossible, as she doesn't walk). And voila. She had rolled all the way off of her bed, taking all of her covers with her. Which is actually kind of funny. Except it's not because she bumped her head something terrible. I hate that. I hate seeing them like that. I hate writing out the reports. I hate feeling somewhat responsible somehow. It makes me feel insecure in my work. I hate feeling like I'm doing something wrong. Too much responsibility. I shrink from that.

In fact today must be my responsibility refusal day. I've been trying to find a repair shop for my poor car who seems to be having alternator trouble, but strangely EVERY place in Dickinson is booked. BOOKED? Car places? I am NOT used to hearing that. How is that possible? I get not today, but not until the 20TH?! Shocking. Altogether shocking. I do not know what I shall do as Ringo is now clouding the curb of my workplace and they're bound to notice at some point or another (but I can't drive him home, as that might seriously eff him up). Anyway, the process of doing this and all of these other stupid grown up things is making me so cantankerous today. I don't want to deal. I want to be Peter Pan, damnation. Just go away and let me fly! And eat the food that I want to eat! And spend as much money as I want! Don't make me PLAN and do grown-up crap.