Wednesday, February 24

Body: Arms sore in an odd way, and I think it's from Monday night's prowler pushes? In the early AM (before breakfast, even) I was stretching the whole body, like a kitty, when something in my right shoulder blade area twitched weirdly (rib?). I immediately let off the stretch because it felt badly, but it also kind of felt like it does when popping knuckles or getting your back into place by a doc, that little hurt before relief - but I stopped shy of relief, and it stayed hurty. I laid on my back (felt good), and dug in with a tennis ball & the wall (ouch), and then just left it alone at work, occasionally stretching. Got very tired by noon already, like I could've laid my head on my desk and been out cold (even at a standing desk!), and brain was turning useless, so I was unusually kind to myself, and went home for a two-hour nap with my kittens. Got up feeling rested.

Brain: Low. Tired of little physical injuries like the shoulder, which I just KNOW are because of my mental stresses, that my body is not repairing properly from the physical stress I put on it because of all the cortisol I'm flooding it with. I know that I need to stop internalizing everything, I know that I need to change the stories I tell myself, but lawd, I dunno HOW to change the chatter. It hasn't always been this way. I don't know when it started, but I want it to end. I'm reading what seems to be a really good book for dealing with it. Wish me luck.

Made a lunch date with Heidi since we aren't running pooches tonight. Texted with BK for the first time in what felt like ages. Trying to put my people back into my life, but in so many ways it seems like monumental effort to engage with people.

About Me

And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, "This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!"
And each day, it's up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, "No. This is what's important."
--Iain Thomas