I was a rugby fly half. Later a goalkeeper.
Now I have little balance and vision. It is difficult to be weak, when I was once, so in control.
I struggle with the loss. Not ,only walking , but having to sit in chairs with arms. I am embarrassed by myself. Staying in my house is, increasingly, the best option.
At the time of writing this, I have not left my house since October 5th. My car did 241 miles last year,..that is travelling to the tip , and back. It feels like the final chord, at the end of Sergeant Pepper.

Hi Lorna. The restrictions on social interaction are manyfold. Balance, noise, movement, intolererence, ........ad infinitum! In fact,...every- thing has changed. I am the worst person to give advice. I have crashed and burned, over the last 14 years. You will never be who you were. However, you will find that people on this site have been through , exactly, what you are experiencing.

I have come to a, personal, realisation, that people are disappointing. Best thing is, to avoid them! Get a dog. Get a cat. Get any creature that will not let you down! I don't want to be negative, but life is what it is.

Last night, an old friend told me of an impending gig. Musicians I have known for 40 years. I told him I would need to write the details down. He asked why? I said, Altziemers! He backed away ,in embarresment. I only said Altziemers, because, to explain Third nerve palsy, SAH, and all the resulting carnage, is too difficult. Altziemers shuts everyone up! It is simpler than ,having to explain memory loss, balance loss, anger, intolerance and depression.
After years of expecting a re-occurence of the pain of the first event,( not flying for ten years) there was a period of numbness. 14 years on,...I don't fear SAH anymore. I just like to keep myself , too myself. I can't seem to interact with folk. My wife pushes me into social contact. I try to respond. I just can't be bothered. Is this normal?

I see tinnitus visually. It is a real thing. It never goes away. It reminds me of that , long tracking shot in the film "frenzy", where the killer enters the street, as is if nothing had happend. The noise just swamps you. Like the the tracking shot in "Jaws" , where the camera pulls away, when focusing on the face. That's how I see tinnitus! I may be wrong!

Something else that has emerged from SAH recovery. OCD cleaning! Not in my own house, but every time I go on holiday.
I like to have Villa holidays, in the south of Spain. Three times a year! (Lucky man)! I always end up, sorting the garden out, cleaning the patio, oiling the locks and gate fittings,sorting out the TV and internet, fixing little plumbing problems,.....etc, etc....ad infinitum!
I was not like this pre-SAH. My family think it is hilarious. Everyone is relaxing around the pool,..I am polishing tiles, ...saying ,..."we may be on holiday, but we don't have live like pigs". Needless to say, the owners love us, and ask when we will want to come back!
Brain alterations have unforseen consequences. Onwards and upwards! Bill.

QMC,...saved me too! I was a teacher too Paul. Head exploded, crashed into a lorry, no idea what was happening. My family, like yours, pulled me out my abyss. .....Now we are here! ...survivors!......The lucky few!. Mr MCarther, if that was your sugeon, told me ,...12.5 % of SAH victims recover, completely. 12.5% recover partially. 25% recover. 50% die on the spot, or the next day. We are all very lucky!