Today one of my co workers got a promotion , nothing remarkable or interesting, just that he was only with the company less than 1 year, was 27 years old and this is his second job. So he has less than 5 years of experience and he is already into management. With this he gets 17 people working for him , a new iphone, company car not to mention a bonus and a big jump in pay. so yes I have to admit that I was jealous. I would be stupid if I said that I was not .

People say that a competent and self confident person in incapable of jealousy in anything , it is not a symptom of neurotic behavior , I guess it would be envy

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that I do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point – that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative – self-value. They say that if you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved , so true and so wrong.

My life has been spent in making mistakes but at least it is more useful than life doing nothing.

So I look back at my life and count my successes and failures
Let me start with my successes raised an awesome son

Failures love , marriage and job family

I no longer believe in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together

We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.

The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh.

At the end of the day I have to finish every day and be done with it. I have done what I could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; Tomorrow is a new day; I shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with my old nonsense

So in conclusion I have to

dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like I’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.