I have always been an avid non-fiction reader. Even before MS, I had self-confidence issues. I have always wanted to lose weight for as long as I can remember. I was always reading about how I could make myself better. Dr. Phil’s no-nonsense philosophies and Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose” came along at the right time. I had a personal library full of self-help books.

I never, besides complaining, really questioned why I got MS. I always figured it was a concept too massive for me to grasp or understand; especially since I’ve started declining. Ms. Horn presented to me a totally new concept. She herself said she was amazed at how simple it was.

I have multiple sclerosis because…I am human. And like everyone else, I am susceptible to the highs and lows of life.

I guess I can’t ask for more straightforward and simple reasoning than that.

With all that can happen to a person it is amazing we live past ten. I have never questioned why me? Why not me is a better question. All disease, where you were born, violence, war and the list goes on makes us all targets of some kind.

I lost a 14 year old dear child dear to me. I have spent much time in Children’s Hospital. I have had cancer now MS and it is never crossed my mind to say why me?

Hi Nicole,
Great post and thanks for sharing, now I can just check that box off. Thankfully I’ve only tried to answer that question for just short of 8 years! Don’t you wonder why must we try to complicate everything sometimes? Oh, I guess it because we’re human 🙂 Hope you’re feeling well and I’m planning to run in my 3rd 5k in less than a month on Saturday…why? Because I’m a driven, stubborn human being with MS!!!!

Hi Nicole another great post! I sometimes thought that I may have done something wrong to someone in the past and now I am being punished….sound dumb? Or perhaps you may have felt this way. But looking back I think no that can’t be true I have always been a kind, caring, compassionate person (still am) and I spent a majority of my career caring for our aging. I am not a “pity party” when it comes to my MS. With all that being said you always end your post with such power! I look forward to your next one. Thank you for sharing with us. Thanks to Ben Affleck too. Take care of yourself ! Yes I am human too!

If life knocked me down a dozen times, it means I stood up a dozen times. Why stop trying now? At least this is the attitude I try to pass to my kids. I have always been a fan of Samuel Beckett’s quote, “Ever Tried. Ever Failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” – Worstward Ho

Still, I keep trying to explain to myself what it is to live the tale of MS. Why do my legs feel so heavy and tight, yet still seem to move fast when only muscle memory is needed to go for a run? Is my mind afflicted similarly, trapped in the same loops of tiring thoughts? I think this line of thinking is why I have so enjoyed another Beckett quote lately, “Dear incomprehension, it’s only thanks to you I’ll be myself in the end.”

Thank you for this Nicole! I so often only think about “why” I got MS when it is complaining, but this is so true – it happened because I am human. I believe I am supposed to learn from this and help others (which you do all of the time with this). I love any quotes that mention that life is falling down, strength is getting back up. I think I get back up all of the time. As hard as this is to deal with, I cannot imagine how hard it would be to know I didn’t try and give it my all. There have been many times over the last few years where I have just wanted to be done with this. Who wants to fight a battle that they’re going to lose? But I think the biggest loss would be not fighting or trying.