A long time ago in a state (New Jersey) far, far away…

So here’s the cold hard truth. I’ve never seen Star Wars. Sure, I’ve seen bits and pieces here and there. I know who the main characters are, but really only because I had the pajamas when I was a kid. And I think the toothbrush? Maybe?

Listen, I was an eight year old living in Atlantic City, New Jersey when Star Wars came out. I had bigger things to focus on, like breaking the land speed record on my Hippity Hop and getting my mother to admit that Jersey Devil wasn’t real so I could stop wetting my pants over the damn thing. To tell you the truth, I never much liked going to the movies as a kid and almost 40 years later nothing has changed.

It all started with my father taking us to see Dumbo when I was about 4. I FUH-REAKED out when Dumbo’s mother was taken away and Dad had carry me out sobbing. Around that same time, my mother took me with her to see Sunshine..the story of a mother dying of cancer. I cried until I threw up. Then in 1976, Dad took us to see Jaws. Me, an over-imaginative, intensely high-strung kid who lived on thebeach. Movies were dead to me after that. As far as I was concerned, nothing good came of them.

So when Star Wars was released in 1978, I had had enough of that nonsense and must have said no thanks to going to see it. And never tried to see it afterwards, either. It’s not like I have anything against the movie, I just have no interest in it. It’s not even that I don’t like sci-fi, because I do. It’s just never been something I felt like I was missing out on…kind of out of sight, out of mind.

But now with the new Star Wars movie.(I don’t even know what it’s called) that may have to change for me. Mark has been waiting for this for years and I’m happy to do something that makes him happy…so it’s pretty likely we’ll grab a show next week before the kids get out for the holidays. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be a huge fan and want to see the original. Maybe.