Pope's resignation - now God's 'had enough'

God is said to 'have had it up to here' and is thinking of 'packing it in' following the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI and Cardinal Keith O'Brien.

'God's infinite patience is running out,' said theologian Dr Hans Young. 'What with the resignations and sex scandals in the Catholic Church, he's had enough and understandably mightily pissed off. After all, he isn't a saint.

'He's even been heard to mutter that 'maybe these atheists have something.'

A spokesman for the British Humanist Society said the society would be happy to welcome God as a member but doubted if he would qualify if he continued to believe in Himself.

Satan is reported to be encouraging God to stay on.

'He's having the devil of a time enjoying Catholic wrong-doing and sin,' said Dr Young. 'He says it's like Christmas every day.'

Dr Young said the Almighty was 'tearing his hair out' (establishing beyond doubt for the first time that God isn't bald) and was on the point of resigning.

'Just now he feels like crucifying someone,' Dr Young said,' and might well do so during the Easter holiday.'

Dr Young said if God was to resign it did not mean He had inappropriately touched anyone during prayers or after a late night drinking session.