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War Gamer Stereotypes

I thought it would be entertaining today to try to define a few of the gaming stereotypes and poke fun at ourselves for a bit. Ultimately one of the great things that define our hobby is the social interaction that is required to play a game. It’s not something that you can do entirely at home behind a computer. Actual games often require planning and several hours of prolonged contact with the outside world. As the primarch would say, we are the nerd elite. Through these social interactions, we tend to come across some stereotypes.

WARNING: The following is for comedic purposes only. Do not take what I say personally. I am sure I could fit into several of these stereotypes myself. Just try to have fun guys.

The Old Veteran: These guys have been in the hobby forever. You can tell by there references to things like rogue trader, 3rd edition, or “I remember when that army first came out.” These gamers are often prone to “Previous Edition Syndrome”, a condition defined by the constant phrase “My mistake, that’s a rule from 4th ed”. In their defense, they have had to re learn the rule set 5 or 6 times. Often times they have models older than their opponent’s actual age. These old models can be picked out by there classic Vitruvian Manstance.

The Young Kid: Let’s face it, most of us started out like this. Their armies are often very small, since this game can be expensive. Models are poorly painted, often with craft store paint. Getting a ride to the game store from Mom, most of these guys are trapped in a there for many hours. Hovering over a game becomes a past time, often while asking a million questions to the players. In more extreme cases, these gamers begin to loose all focus on a single army and acquire small collections of 2-3 armies. None of these are big enough for a legal game.

The Hip Gamer: He used to play 40k, you know, before it was broken. Now he plays some game you never heard of. He dabbles in Warmachine and Infinity, but they are losing their appeal as they become more and more popular. If he does play 40k, he will often pull out an obscure army that you never see hit the table. Sisters of Battle, no he will not call them Adepta Sororitas.

The Professional Painter: This guy’s “table top quality” makes your models look like you painted them drunk. His play style can range from competitive to fluff. Regardless of wins or losses, he will always field a fully painted army ten times better than a single model in yours. You almost feel guilty killing his models. Fielding an unpainted model makes his skin crawl. Side note: don’t touch his models, some of these guys can be very protective of their babies. Or spill a coke on them.

The Converter: A close cousin to the painter, these gamers must convert every model in their army. No two models look the same. Building something straight out of the box physically hurts these guys. They can do things with green stuff you didn’t know was possible (Is that a tiny name patch on each of your guardsmen’s uniforms? Looks like I just killed “Trooper Franklin Octavio III”). In extreme cases, you may often have to ask him what each model in his army is again since they look nothing like the models that actually have rules.

The Afraid to Lose Guy: Lets face it, we all lose games. Seriously, don’t tell me you haven’t lost since 6th ed dropped, it makes me want to punch you. This guy is so afraid to let a lose sneak on to his record, he often fails to finish a game that he may lose. His phone will ring, he steps out, then there is a sudden reason he needs to leave before the game ends. Really, your lawn is on fire? I thought you lived in an apartment? Regardless, he will always say lets call it a draw as he quickly packs up his models. On the other hand if the game is a landslide, he always wants to play it out. You know, to see if he can table you.

The Ork Player: As you may know by now, I am an ork player. Our type is usually characterized by a complete lack of caring over model safety and winning. All ork players want to do is actually be an ork. Run forward and smash things. Models are often tossed casually into a dead pile or bucket. If one breaks, don’t worry, we have 300 more at least. A completely painted ork army is like finding a unicorn. Also, waaghs are usually screamed at the top of our lungs, so don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The Unprepared Guy: You can pretty much count on this guy to bring most of the models he needs to play, and that’s about it. Don’t be offended if he needs to borrow dice, templates, rulers, codex, ect. A few proxies will always be in his list, since he almost always left something at home. Why are there coke bottles all over your table? Oh, you forgot your drop pods.

The Non-Gaming Gamer: These are the guys that always have an army, cool model, ect, but it’s never with them. It’s in the closet at home. This can range from a small force of Imperial Fists to a whole Regiment of Astra Militarum. Despite multiple attempts to get these guys to play, they always forget to bring their army. Interestingly enough, they are always willing to sit around and comment on your game. They just don’t ever play one of there own.

Single Adult Gamers: Usually a gamer relatively new to the world of 40k. They are defined by how they seem to throw themselves into the hobby without any hesitation. They quickly acquire large armies, and several of them. The good news is they don’t have to explain their large amount of toy soldier purchases to their significant other. The bad news, the larger his collection is, the longer they will likely remain single.

I think “The Professional Painter” description is not quite accurate. Having a fully painted army with tip-top quality is almost like neverending quest. Propainters would rather field an army with few extraordinary painted HQ choices and monsters/vehicles and the rest army would be perfectly undercovered with base colour waiting to be painted 😉 Progress is slow, sometimes it takes quarter of a century 😉

The Pro Painter stereotype was spawned after I had the chance to play a high elf player who had won a golden daemon in the past. I was playing my vampires, which up until that point I thought looked good. His list wast not the hardest list, and when I asked him about that he told me he had the models but they weren’t painted yet. My VC rolled through his puny high elves and I started to feel like that scene from toy story where all the ugly mutilated toys attacked woody and buzz, the clean cut good looking toys.