Keeping the Romance Alive

by Felix Benhoerster

Being in a relationship can be hard work. And anyone who disagrees is either lying
or not in a relationship. But honestly, it’s difficult to be selfless and committed to
another person all the time. Living with your significant other or spouse is obviously
a necessary step in a progressing relationship, but it also takes away the element of
excitement. Being in a long-term relationship and recently married, my wife and I
agree that one of the hardest tasks in a relationship is ‘keeping your romance alive.’
Everyone’s romance is different, but being with a woman who has stressed this for
almost 5 years, I have narrowed it down to 3 simple ways to keep that spark.

1. Be Spontaneous. Don’t get me wrong; being comfortable with someone is
wonderful, and routine can actually be very sexy. But every once in awhile (even
though they may not admit it), your significant other would love to be surprised.
Plan a mid-week date night or bring them breakfast in bed. A few years ago on
Valentine’s Day, I packed a bag and went to a friend’s house. I left a note on the
bed telling my now wife to be ready at 7 and to dress nice. I knocked on the door
(of the apartment we lived in together) at 7 o’clock sharp, showered and dressed
with flowers in hand. While we can’t go back to the beginning of our relationship
with first dates and feelings of nervousness, being spontaneous can add back that
element of excitement and anticipation that a lot of relationships lose over time.
(She still tells that story to people)

2. Celebrate. This one has been HUGE in our relationship. Celebrate everything,
anything, and just because. Whether it’s bringing home a special dessert to celebrate
the fact that it’s Thursday, a sweet greeting card recognizing your ‘month-iversary’,
or cocktails at a cool dive bar to celebrate a promotion. My wife and I recognized
and celebrated our anniversary every month for the first few years we were dating.
It always gave us something to look forward to and was a fun way to keep track of
our time together.

3. Mix it up. The classic dinner date is staple and of course romantic. But changing
it up can also add excitement. Check out a free food and music festival in your area.
Rent bikes and spend the afternoon exploring a new neighborhood. Plan a picnic
or build a fort in your living room. Whatever it is you normally do to spend time
together, try something new.

Keeping the romance alive comes in all forms. But it doesn’t require breaking the
bank or huge amounts of time. You just need a little creativity!