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me + two

2.03.2015

Life with these two is challenging but also completely full of love and reward. It's a broad spectrum of emotions to be a mom and in one day I feel it all. Frustration, fatigue (not an emotion, I know), bliss, joy, pride, impatience, lots of stretching...and that's just before noon! I exaggerate because, it's more fun that way.

I'm learning that as a mom you must have long term vision or the here and now will consume you. If I focus on how long it's taking Elin to fall asleep for her nap and how that's hindering my ability to get back to those emails that are building up or how Israel isn't eating his food, again, and how I have to choose between reading or cleaning or working on a long overdue project, I can easily feel defeated or defined by these small victories and defeats. When Elin was a newborn it was so easy to have tunnel vision because I was trying so hard to take her in, to enjoy those precious moments of getting to know this new person I had created. Now that she's a year old, I still take moments to slow down and celebrate her little accomplishments but I also have to keep in mind the needs of my 5 year old and how they are both learning and growing so differently and so rapidly.
When I really feel overwhelmed I think about life in 15 years from now, when my son will probably be away in school and my daughter soon to be an adult. I think about how they won't fit in my arms or on my lap, nor will they want to. Of how I will long to hear their footsteps down the hall or trip over the messes they left in the doorway. I think also about how their earnest faces and innocent eyes will someday be replaced with heads consumed with new ideas and plans, how our relationship will be more about respect and understanding each other than simply about play and stopping to see everything for the first time.
I took a few snaps the other day when we had some bright light in the house. I kick myself for not taking more candid photos like this, of nothing in particular than colors, views and shapes of our everyday lives. I wish I was better at capturing these but I'm sure practice would help.

I used to post photos like this all the time and somehow I've gotten away from it completely. Tell me, in the mix of the regular design and project posts, do you care to see images of everyday life?