"Our life maybe a crazy life but it's our life" I'm married to a pastor of a small rural church, who is also the prison chaplain. We have 5 kids, each with their unique story. I love gardening & we all love the outdoors. Our life is not the way we planned it to be, but we are learning to trust God in every area. Come and read about our life as we live it to the fullest!

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Sunday, December 23, 2012

Day 49 fish Oil Study~ better news

Selah did NOT storm today! Two changes were made. Yesterday she was taken off the new drug called Amantadine, AND the they opened a new bottle of fish oil. So I don't know which helped but one did and today has been stable. thank God!!

We went home yesterday. I was really afriaid of my emotions going in and seeing Selah's crib and her princess car. It did hurt but I was able to deal with it better than I thought. Maybe because I was overwhelmed with all I have to do in order to get her home and to have our house ready.

We had a great service this morning and were glad to see our friends and family! I had to fight my emotions a few times. I can't help but remember the last time we were in service and I had two little girls with me. I do not like to cry in front of people and I "ugly cry" so I was really not wanting to lose it!! We left Zephryhills around 5 pm, it was hard to leave our family and some close friends and got back to Jax at 9 pm. We drove up a back way through the Ocala National Forest and saw 2 deer and a wolf!

I'm trying to figure out HOW I am going to get everything done in our home before Selah comes home. The boys are giving up their room for her and we are moving all their things out to a cornor of the fellowship hall. They will share the room with Sam & Sarah for now until we make a decision about what we are going to do. Obviously we either have to add on or move. since we live in a parsonage, it is not the smartest idea to put alot of money into remodeling it just for Selah because one day we will move and then we wouldn't be able to take it with us. We haven't heard from Extreme Home Makeover yet...we keep hoping we will be contacted by them. We live in a pretty small house if you add a full time nurse to the mix! I'm a public person in some ways (I guess that is obvious since I blog) but I'm also very private when it comes to my real emotions and my family.
We will make this work for Selah but it's going to be uncomfortable for all of us.

We are going to have to go home before this weekend in order to do alot of this and do a deep cleaning ( carpets/curtains etc) things I have to have done before she comes home (because I know it won't get done once she is home! Our other van wouldn't crank today nor would the ignition switch turn, so that has to be taken care of too. I have a list of things to do... a list helps me but I am overwhelmed feeling right now!!!

Please keep praying for Selah! Pray that she begins responding like she used and progresses again!!!!

I'm so relieved to hear that Selah didn't storm today! Earlier today, I had all kinds of thoughts about what could have caused her regression, but I didn't have time to sit down and write (here, Christmas is celebrated on the 24th, so today was a busy day. But Selah was on my mind all morning). I don't really know if guesses and using imagination would be of any help? I just kept thinking if Selah in some way associated the flight to Florida with her past flight from Ukraine and if she may have feared losing you? I know you've written things about her cognitive level that would say that's not really possible. I just thought that maybe some fear somehow might have caused regression. Or is there anything in her new environment that might remind her of the institution, especially sounds or smells, since those could be reactions independent of cognitive level?Selah was so heavy on my heart earlier today that I really wanted to share my thoughts in case it might start some thoughts in your minds, but please feel free to not publish my comment!

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