I Wish I Had More Time

Each day, I start with grand dreams of what I’d like to accomplish, and each day I’m lucky to get even one thing completed. So, when met with a prompt of “I wish I had…” my mind immediately leapt to “more time.” Thankfully, my little daily sketch and post are one thing that I always manage to make happen. The more I thought about the predicament of not having enough time, the more I realized it was really more a lack of focus. I have trouble staying on any single task for any length of time without bouncing on to something else. Each little project manages to creep forward a bit, but certainly not at the rapid pace that would occur if I just picked one thing and focused on it. When a deadline is involved, that’s certainly helpful, but I’ll still wait until the very last minute to complete things. I’m less like a studious collegiate and more like a little circus monkey who’s just eaten too much cotton candy. But, oddly, I don’t really wish I had more focus because I love the way my mind works as it zooms about coming up with way too many ideas. It’s a crazy and kinetic journey to be sure, but one that I wouldn’t have any other way. I’ve always thought the ability to pause time, like in those science fiction books and movies would be an awesome power to have. But, the only way I currently know how to do it is, as ever, via my little sketchbook.

I chose this particular pocket watch because it’s exactly like the one I had when I was younger. Though mine may still be in a box somewhere in the garage, I’ve not found it yet, so it’s also something I wish I had. I was happy to be able to conjure it back up virtually at least. It’s been so fun to collect memories here of my current life and things I miss from what now feels like a previous life. Part of my bouncing around all of the time means I’ve become one of those jack of all trades and master of none. I’m always so impressed when somebody seems to know exactly what they want to do as they attack it with all of their energy and focus for years and years. They are my heroes and I look up to them now, just as I did as a child. And as I approach 50, I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Some days, I feel like a bit of failure for not having decided yet, but most days, I’m just excited to find out. I’ve no idea where I’ll be in 5-10 years or even next year. Maybe I’ll manage to publish that next book, or maybe something else will happen instead. The goals I set for myself always begin with “I wish I had…” Whether it’s the ability to sketch and color my own art or the next idea for a work of fiction. Everything I do starts with just a wish, like I’ve suddenly spotted a shooting star.

The things I wish for, however, are never the usual fare that one might choose if they’d just stumbled onto a genie’s lamp. I don’t wish for fame or fortune as those aren’t the most interesting things I can imagine. My mind leaps to other things where something cool gets made that didn’t exist in the moment before that wish was granted. That’s pretty much how I start every day as I race against time. I imagine all of the things I dream I could make happen and then I do what I can to move those dreams forward. The mysterious beauty of life is that it doesn’t last forever. What I do in this moment and all of the moments that I’m gifted is the most important thing of all. And though I do hope I’ll be able to accomplish some of those things from my wild dreams, I’m equally happy in the pursuit of them. Some talk of the legacy they want to leave behind, but I know that everyone leaves a legacy the moment they touch a single person’s heart. For me, I just want to create and make whatever I can during the time I have left on earth. And years from now, hopefully, when I’m at those last moments of my life, just before I take that final breath, I’ll knowingly smile and giggle to myself as I once again think, “I wish I had more time.”

I suspect if we had more time, we’d just fill it up and wish we had more yet. I love your pocket watch. I’ve always fancied one, but women’s clothes don’t lend themselves to carrying one, so I buy them for my husband instead. One of the things I do when I can’t sleep is think of what I’d wish for if I rescued a genie and got my three wishes. Usually I’m asleep before I can pare the wishes down to three, lol.

My grandma had a fancy cased watch like yours that was on a necklace chain with a slide on it that was inlaid with tiny pearls and a little opal. My grandparents were poor, so grandpa used it as a pocket watch when he was working at the ship yard. As the oldest daughter, my mom inherited it from her mom. And I was next in line, so when I got married I wore it as a necklace. Since I have no kids, I sent it to one of my aunts who will pass it to her daughter who has a daughter of her own. Heirlooms do find their way. It has been called a wedding watch, so I hope it sees more weddings.

Charlie says, ” Some talk of the legacy they want to leave behind, but I know that everyone leaves a legacy the moment they touch a single person’s heart.”

What a mighty legacy you have amassed and deservedly so. what you call your ‘little doodlewashes’ along with the stories matched to them, changes people’s lives for the better. I can hear that pocket watch ticking. I can tell it has a strong and mighty main spring that will keep it going for decades. Bravo!

Your pocket watch looks lovely – I especially like the hands’ shadows. At 68, I look at life the same way I do road trips – getting there is ALL the fun. It’s the DOING that makes our lives, not the accomplishments or acquisitions.

Thanks, Tom! 😃💕 hehe… yeah, I know! Time is very elusive… I think I have far more than I do when I start each day. It’s a bit of disappoint what I didn’t manage to accomplish, but I’ll thrilled to try again the next! 😉

What a wonderful, thoughtful post Charlie. I love the words in that final paragraph, describing how we change the world when we touch somebody, maybe not even realising the ripples we create as we go through life. A terrific start to my day reading this 😀

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