Damn. Did Kate Gosselin queef in someone’s scrambled eggs over at UsWeekly, because they have it out for the bitch! They are raising their pitchforks and trying to take that cunt down! This week’s issue really isn’t anything new. It’s all about Kate’s grand cunty ways! It’s nice to know that Cunty Kate was even a mega bitch before she got famous!

One of Kate’s former baby nurses, Angela Krall, said that before she was hired, the Gosselins had gone through almost 40 nurses in only 3 months. Angela said that Kate would fire a ho over every little thing. One nurse washed her hands in the kitchen sink instead of the bathroom sink and Kate dropped the bitch, because she said it was cross-contamination.

Apparently, before Kate became famous, Medicaid paid for her nannies. The Associated Press reported in a story from 2005, “Kate Gosselin said she feels society has a responsibility to help with the children, since modern medicine promotes the use of fertility drugs, which can lead to multiple births.”

Okay, when are Kate and OctoMommy going to become besties forever, because they were obviously both cut from the same batshit crazy cloth (which comes in fuchsia or chartreuse)!

Kate didn’t only bring the cuntiness to the staff, she also treated her father like caca. When her father brought her cribs donated by his parishioners (he’s a pastor), Kate threw them out. A family source (aka Jon) said, “They didn’t match and Kate rejected them.”

Kate didn’t miss a beat and she quickly responded to all these claims to People: “Everywhere you go you’re being stalked, you’re being followed – it’s hell, on the cover of a magazine. It’s so scary. It’s like one of those movies where you have to change your identity and go underground. I’ve been saying, ‘Let’s find a country where our show doesn’t air, and let’s just go there until this all dies.’ I have to laugh about this, or else I’ll cry. It’s a matter of, when will they stop?”

The best part is when she talks about her kids: “I don’t want them dragged into this. It kills me.” Did she forget a little show called Jon & Kate Plus 8 that she signed them all up for? I love it when the pimp starts to shed crocodile tears.

Why do I find Kate so hilarious?! An even better question is, does anybody ever fight back? It wouldn’t be hard. All you have to do is all the ASPCA on her tortured possum hair, so they can throw a net over her head and drag her into a cage. Or better yet, just sprinkle some holy water on her and watch as she shrivels down into the sidewalk cracks.

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