THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Whatever Happened To

Whatever Happened To

There have been a lot of things that have disappeared since I
first saw sunlight.Most of these things
disappeared because they were replaced by something better.Automatic transmissions have replaced almost
all stick shifts and “three on the column.”Satellite and cable have replaced antennae on the roof or “Rabbit Ears”
on the top of the TV.Dryers have made
clotheslines obsolete.These kinds of
things didn’t really disappear, they were simply replaced by something far
better.

Some things have just mysteriously left our environment.They were here one day and suddenly “Poof”
they’re gone.

We used to describe the size of some items by comparing it
with a breadbox.

“Is it bigger than a breadbox?”

Everyone knew just how big a breadbox was.Everyone had a bread box.Bread was always kept in a breadbox.Today no one uses a breadbox.Most people refrigerate bread.Refrigerating bread keeps it from getting mold,
but it makes it go stale faster.I suppose
today people buy bread to last for over a week instead of getting their “daily
bread.”We are more concerned with mold
than staleness, but if you are a proponent on fresh bread to be used in a
matter of days we should probably bring back the breadbox.

In the winter we always had electric blankets.What happened to them? They used to work just fine and kept you nice
and toasty.Electric blankets replaced
blankets and quilts in the winter, now blankets and quilts have replaced the electric
blanket.Why?Maybe it’s the electric bill.Either way it is probably better, green-wise,
to lose the electric blanket.

Remember Sansabelt slacks?Old people with expanding waistlines loved them.They are now nowhere to be found.I think my waistline would like them.

For several years, the big thing in cars was the wraparound
windshield.They looked really cool and provided
good peripheral vision.They just went
away.I thought they
were a good idea.Also gone from cars
are those little triangular windows in the front.We called them cheaters, I have no idea
why.They were great for smokers,
allowing smoke to exit without letting cold air in.Maybe since almost no one smokes in their car
anymore, the cheaters are just not needed.I kinda liked them just to get fresh air circulating.

Fancy cars used to have white-sidewall tires.They were really sharp looking.When you washed your car, the last thing you
did, was the white-wall tires.(Do
people even wash their own car anymore?) White-walls were really big, four
inches wide, then they morphed into little one inch strips and finally they
just disappeared.

A few years back every kid had wheels in their shoes.I think they were called “Healies.” I thought
they were pretty cool, perhaps a little dangerous, but cool.Suddenly “poof” no “healies.”

When I went to grade school every kid brought their lunch in
a lunchbox. They were usually decorated
with some TV theme, were all metal with a little metal latch.The box had room for a sandwich, a snack and
a small thermos for milk or juice. Dads
who didn’t work in an office also brought lunch to work in a lunchbox…it just
wasn’t decorated with a TV theme.What
happened to the lunchbox?Have people
stopped eating lunch?

Airports used to have vending machines where you could
purchase flight insurance.For 2 bucks,
your loved ones could collect $100,000 if your flight ended badly.What happened to flight insurance?Are the airlines so safe, or have law suits
replaced insurance.

Obviously we can live without these items, but I sort of miss
them.Sometimes old stuff just goes away
and it is only the old folks that miss it.

My parents called the little triangle vents "louvers," and I was embarrassed when my husband informed me they were side vents. I grew up with a glove compartment and later learned from the same source it was a glove box.

We called the windows 'wing windows', wouldn't mind seeing them come back. I took chicken noodle soup to school in one of those large-mouth thermos. Now, my oldest granddaughter takes one of those noodle bowls and nukes it at school.

Those little triangle windows were fantastic. I loved them as a kid. They were needed in the days pre air con. What about the Venetian blinds on the back windows of old cars pre window tinting? I keep my bread in a bread box by the way, and my kids got heelies for their birthday last year!

Come over here - we still have a lot of those things! Manual transmissions - with 6 forward gears! - and television aerials on the roof. My car has triangular windows (I call them quarterpanes) but they don't open. And there is an electric blanket on our bed - and many other English beds. And clothes lines? Every house has one. Bread bins are common as well.

We'd be appalled today if we had to crank our windows down instead of push a button!My well meaning dad chose a bread box as a Mother's Day gift one year. Boy did he get an earful before it went back to the store!School kids these days either eat crap from the hot lunch line or bring "Bento boxes" filled with nauseatingly cute food - like the adorable little mini bread dough spiders I'm working on now for my grandkids' "Halloween lunches!"

I am feeling a bit dinosaur'ish. I still drive a stick shift and use an electric blanket in winter. Since the blanket allows me to really lower the furnace temps at night, I feel I am almost green. It really feels marvelous.

What about those clear plastic rain hats folded up like fans and tucked into a little sleeve? My mom used to carry those in her purse to keep her AquaNetted bouffant from becoming bedraggled in a sudden sprinkle.

Far better green-wise to lose the dryers as well. Those things chew up electricity like 3-bar heaters do. Clothes and sheets dried in the sunshine and fresh air smell much nicer anyway. Sunshine kills germs too, that's a plus. Just use the dryer when absolutely needed in the winter. We have a lot of TV antennas here in Australia too, not everyone can afford cable or satellite and are the shows really worth paying for?Like Val, I miss those little fold up rain hats too. My mum always had one and we were given one for Christmas one year, I never knew what happened to it.

Okay…from MY youth I seem to remember a lot of clear plastic covering people's couches. What was THAT about? So you had to sit on uncomfortable plastic all the time, which made your thighs sweat if you were in shorts…all to keep the fabric clean? Ridiculous!!

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About Me

I am 70 years old, I have 4 children 45,42,40 and 18;and 5 grandchildren 13-6
. Divorced twice, married three times. I worked on Wall Street for 40 years after graduating from Lafayette College in 1968. I have turned to writing as since retirement I needed something to tell people "What the F*** I do." Published one book "Maybe It's Just Me!" available at Amazon, soon to release my second, "I Used To Be Stupid."
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