my god … it's full of stars

Sometimes my heart aches with sadness so much that I can’t believe I’m still able to breathe. I spent more than a third of my life believing that this man was the best one for me, in spite of everything that anyone said, and all the evidence to the contrary.

I want my family. I want the family I had envisioned, sunshine and roses and hard work and fun times and bad times and shared goals and working together and growing in unison. I want to find someone who makes me want to work on improving our relationship. And someone who will do the same in return.

Sigh. I’m just sad, and lonely. Most days it’s not so bad. Right now it’s hurting more than usual.