Intro

Great Quotes

"I was having sex with my wife and I saw her look into a mirror and I asked her if she was looking at my naked body and she said no, that she was looking at her own naked body, and I told her she was a lesbian and she talked back to me. Then later she walked into a door and got that black eye." - Mark Driscoll

"If you wake up in the middle of the night and climb out of your tent and see two glowing red eyes about the size of baseballs and hear a deep, gutteral rumble as if hell itself is peering at you from the trees ... don't worry about it and just go back to sleep." - Larry Dawson, former Park Ranger

"If we had better health care they could have scraped my brother's brains off the trunk of that car and saved his life." - Ted Kennedy

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to cheat and he'll steal that fish, crack the dude over the head with a rock, and sleep with his wife." - The Apostle Paul

"Kingdoms will be conquered, bricks will be shit." - George W. Bush

"Sometimes, when I'm alone, I tune up "Butterfly Kisses" on Pure Country 91.3 and just let myself cry." - Barack Obama

"Women are like horses, they work better with a broken spirit." - Rick Warren

"Where are my pants? They were on when I left the house this morning." - Jimmy Bussington