My Husband Is Afraid

My husband is in fear that I might call police on him again after having an argument. He wants to end the relationship so that he will feel safe. Last time I called the police was due to domestic violence and he was behind the bars for 1 night.

What can I do? Please help me because I am NOT planning/thinking of calling the police at all. Not over an argument.

A: Your husband’s fears are not necessarily a bad thing. You called the police because you were afraid and now he is. Obviously he has changed enough for you to allow him back, so rather than telling him not to worry, use his concern to deepen the relationship. Ask him if he would be willing to do a couples weekend, or see a couples counselor. With every couple I have worked with where there has been domestic violence, the lingering issues come back to haunt them. Couples therapy would be a good way to strengthen the relationship.

About Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Daniel J. Tomasulo, Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP is a graduate of the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania and works as Martin Seligman's assistant instructor there. He is a licensed psychologist specializing in group psychotherapy and psychodrama and is the author of the highly acclaimed Confessions of a Former Child: A Therapist’s Memoir. Visit www.formerchild.com for more information. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.