Bank of England Admits “We don’t know what’s going on”

In a statement earlier today Bank of England governor Mervyn King admitted that it had no idea what was happening to the UK economy. Uncertainty in the Eurozone and the failure of recent economic forecasts mean that the Bank is now believed to be looking at alternative prediction methods.
Sir Mervyn would not comment on rumours that the Bank is trying to secure the services of the octopus Psychic Pete, grandson of Oracle Paul who was so successful in predicting results for the 2010 World Cup.