David Barton Lies Again

David Barton, a man who would cross the street to tell a lie rather than stand still and tell the truth, is once again lying about the Pentagon forcing chaplains to perform same-sex marriages. They have done nothing of the sort, of course, but reality has never been a problem for Barton.

That fear, of course, was completely unfounded and the Pentagon clarified that DOMA repeal would in no way mean that a military chaplain would have to perform a marriage against his will.

But Barton is still claiming that military chaplains are being forced to officiate same-sex weddings that violate their religious beliefs, saying on his “Wallbuilders Live” program today that military commanders are ordering chaplains to “perform homosexual weddings.”

But lies keep the money flowing in, which is what really matters. Supply Side Jesus would understand.

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

Kevin Kehres

These guys would absolutely hate it if their wishes were acceded to; no gay marriage, no abortion, no contraception, everyone a member of “their” church. Donations would dry up instantly.

They need to gin up controversies — especially ones with no prospect for a clear resolution.

mudskipper

Except that there will always be something they can rail against and scare the fearful with. Even if everybody belonged to their church, their church would always be on the edge of collapse, always less pure than yesteryear, and always threatened from within and without. Count on it.

But taking the cake today may be this article by Ann Coulter, where she calls Dr. Kent Brantly (and by extension his nurse, Nancy Writebol) “idiotic” for “marinating himself in medieval diseases of the Third World” instead of staying in the US evangelizing Hollywood bigwigs to prevent the secularization of the country.

Of course, she apparently doesn’t know that, in today’s mobile world community, the only way to prevent an ebola outbreak in the US is to contain it as soon as possible in Africa.

Of course, she is probably just plying her usual tactic of saying something outrageous to attract attention to herself and probably isn’t this stupid but the effect is the same.

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

John Pieret, to be fair, Ann Coulter is the equivalent of my Painting of Dorian Gray. I can do whatever I want, and she gets the effects. I’m starting to feel pretty bad about it, actually. I mean, hearing how awful she is, I must be a right evil bastard. Still, I’m not giving away all those puppies. They aren’t going to step on themselves.

John Pieret

Modus, that explains a lot … including her Adam’s apple.

dean

The wonder of Modus’ wit is that he has the ability to add the little bit to a comment that turns what would be an otherwise mundane observation into pure gold. Case in point (to me): his comment at 4. Without this line

They aren’t going to step on themselves.

the rest of the comment would be only mildly amusing. It’s like seeing a bald Donald Trump vs a Donald Trump with his hair: merely odd versus comedy gold.

Dave Maier

Since the new site design, I’ve taken a closer look at Modus’s avatar, and you know what? I don’t think that’s Drew Carey after all.

xaurreaux

Barton gets away with lying because the willfully ignorant passive-aggressives that make up his audience want to believe the lies.

Nentuaby

John Pieret: No. Do not do that. Piling on bonus transphobia in a Coulter thread does not increase the harm of your wit to Coulter, it just increases the amount of freefloating transphobia. I will never understand why do many people who otherwise align with progressivism take every mention of that asshole as a chance to unrelatedly punch down at some of the most vulnerable members of our society.

Michael Heath

John Pieret @ 5,

C’mon, I’m confident you’re a better person than that.

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

Yes, John Pieret, if you’re going to insult Ann Coulter, stick to references to 19th century literature and, by proxy, being as bad as crushing pets. You know, classy shit.

John Pieret

Excuse me, but I have never said she was transgender, though I was making fun of a bit of her anatomy that is well within the normal range of size for women. Perhaps not, as Modus says, classy shit, but I might just of well have said it explained her face.

howardhershey

If they got all abortions banned, they would suddenly remember that Hitler also banned abortions *except* for fetuses from a Jew and Aryan marriage. Those were mandatory. They would suddenly find a reason for there to be abortion of some fetuses (the takers, especially those of a darker hue)..

http://kamakanui.zenfolio.com Kamaka

@ John Pieret

Given the shit she spews, digs on her gender appearance are grating and unnecessary. There’s plenty else to target. You’re an insightful commenter…you would be wise to drop this one.

David Barton lies again.

C’mon Ed, I shouldn’t have to FTFY.

John Pieret

Kamaka @ 14:

Given the shit she spews, digs on her gender appearance are grating and unnecessary.

That i will concede. But it was a throwaway line and I have never in anyway attempted to disparage her because of any suspicion some may have of her being transgendered. She should be disparaged because she is a horrible human being (or, at least, presents herself as one for commercial reasons). Actually, if she was transgendered, and had managed to become such a star of the looney right, it might have (very slightly) increased my respect for her for having pulled off such a coup.

I will try to be more sensitive in the future and apologize for not having been so today.

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About the Author

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. Read More...