IHOP, you're 60 years old. You're too old to be giving yourself nicknames. You should be on your front porch bickering across the Mason-Dixon line with Waffle House. But instead you're pulling the restaurant equivilant of a mid-life crisis, taking an 11 percent-interest loan on a new Dodge Charger.

Sure, it's all shiny and new at first. But it only takes one dumb high school kid on his learner's permit to wreck your bumper -- or your burger.

Regardless, IHOb is here and that means there's a new dumb burger idea to try.

International House of Burgers

Despite grumblings with the populace, we're halfway through the week and IHOP still has the "p" flipped upside down in its logo. As such, I tried out three of the seven new "Ultimate Steakburgers."

The Classic (A normal cheese burger)

Mega Monster (A big, hulking double cheeseburger)

Big Brunch (Topped with fried egg, bacon and hashbrowns)

I went in wanting to hate on their burgers, especially since the insist on calling it a "Steakburger" for no reason. I was ready to join in with the pitchforks and torches (or in this case regular forks and maple syrup bottles).

But -- and I hate to admit -- IHOb made some decent burger.

So what did they taste like?

IHOb is clearly aiming for that sort of modern gastro-pub feel with their burgers, featuring a thick patty, their own burger sauce and brioche buns.

What surprised me the most, though, was how the burger was cooked to a solid "medium" level of doneness. I like a good amount of pink in my burger, but didn't specifically order it that way. (I just popped them into my cart in my online order before picking them up.)

It's not the default setting I'd expect from a national chain just breaking into the big-time burger game. I was expecting a gray patty cooked clear through. Instead, the burgers were seared well on the flat sides for a good Maillard reaction while remaining juicy and flavorful in the middle.

They seemed to have the basics down, which is a start. But in terms of making a burger that stands out, IHOb still has a little ways to go.