Marriage is meant to be a
union where love, comfort and
unity exist but when the
partners turn on each, then
there is much left to be
desired.
What else can one say when a
wife who is supposed to be a
man’s best friend, turns out
to be his worst enemy? That is
the scenario we have on our
hands when an angry wife
decided to take out her anger
on her husband by emptying a
pot of boiling water on him,
causing him to sustain serious
burns on his body.
A colleague, Seun Oloketuyi,
posted this on his Instagram
page on what a wicked wife did
to his friend in Abuja after a
quarrel.
This is what he wrote to
accompany the photo:
Just left the hospital and it is
worse than I thought. My good
friend is in the hospital in
Abuja now for four days with
second degree burns.
While he was sleeping, his wife
poured hot water on him (face
legs, thighs, hips). She then
locked him inside while he was
screaming “fire, fire”, then
she took off.
She is 5months pregnant; they
have a 16 month old baby.
Been married for a year and a
half. Early in the year, she
slapped him which led to him
beating her.
They reconciled. He also
complains that they switch
house-help every month
because she beats the house-
help where there is blood on
the wall. Should he stay or get
the f out!!…- pissed off
friend?
This is the big question. What
do you think?http://
click.buzzcity.net/click.php?
partnerid=130006

Marriage is meant to be a
union where love, comfort and
unity exist but when the
partners turn on each, then
there is much left to be
desired.
What else can one say when a
wife who is supposed to be a
man’s best friend, turns out
to be his worst enemy? That is
the scenario we have on our
hands when an angry wife
decided to take out her anger
on her husband by emptying a
pot of boiling water on him,
causing him to sustain serious
burns on his body.
A colleague, Seun Oloketuyi,
posted this on his Instagram
page on what a wicked wife did
to his friend in Abuja after a
quarrel.
This is what he wrote to
accompany the photo:
Just left the hospital and it is
worse than I thought. My good
friend is in the hospital in
Abuja now for four days with
second degree burns.
While he was sleeping, his wife
poured hot water on him (face
legs, thighs, hips). She then
locked him inside while he was
screaming “fire, fire”, then
she took off.
She is 5months pregnant; they
have a 16 month old baby.
Been married for a year and a
half. Early in the year, she
slapped him which led to him
beating her.
They reconciled. He also
complains that they switch
house-help every month
because she beats the house-
help where there is blood on
the wall. Should he stay or get
the f out!!…- pissed off
friend?
This is the big question. What
do you think?http://
click.buzzcity.net/click.php?
partnerid=130006

Chile beat Argentina 4-1 on penalties to win the Copa America for the first time at the National Stadium in Santiago
Alexis Sanchez cheekily chipped the winning penalty after Gonzalo Higuain and Ever Banega failed to convert
Argentina midfielder Angel di Maria was forced off in the first half with what appeared to be a hamstring injury
The two sides could not be separated in 90 minutes as Gonzalo Higuain hit the side-netting in injury time
Relive all the action as it happened with Sportsmail’s live runner
By MARTIN DOMIN FOR MAILONLINE

In a stadium so entrenched in Chile’s history it almost drips from the creaking rafters, a new chapter was written.

The Estadio Nacional, which once housed up to 20,000 citizens during the country’s bloody dictatorship, erupted as Alexis Sanchez cheekily chipped home the winning penalty to end La Roja’s 99-year wait for Copa America success.

Scroll down for video
The Chile squad celebrate with the Copa America trophy after finally winning the tournament for the very first time
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The Chile squad celebrate with the Copa America trophy after finally winning the tournament for the very first time

Goalkeeper Claudio Bravo and his team-mates hold the trophy aloft after their penalty shootout win against Argentina
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Goalkeeper Claudio Bravo and his team-mates hold the trophy aloft after their penalty shootout win against Argentina

Alexis Sanchez gets his hands on the hefty Copa America trophy as members of the team are joined by their family in celebrating
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Alexis Sanchez gets his hands on the hefty Copa America trophy as members of the team are joined by their family in celebrating

A dejected Lionel Messi takes his runners-up medal off after failing to inspire Argentina to victory during a heated game
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A dejected Lionel Messi takes his runners-up medal off after failing to inspire Argentina to victory during a heated game

Alexis Sanchez scored the winning penalty for Chile as they beat Argentina 4-1 in a shootout to win the Copa America in Santiago
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Alexis Sanchez scored the winning penalty for Chile as they beat Argentina 4-1 in a shootout to win the Copa America in Santiago

The team hailed at the start of this tournament as the best Chile had ever produced duly delivered as Argentina lost a second major final in as many summers.

A breathless but goalless 90 minutes was followed by a tense period of extra-time between the two best sides in the competition.

Angel di Maria is as good as Lionel Messi and Cristiano…
epa04830233 Peruvian striker Jose Paolo Guerrero (L) celebrates with teammate striker Andre Carrillo after scoring during the Copa America 2015 third and fourth place final soccer match between Peru and Paraguay, at Estadio Municipal Alcaldesa Ester Roa Rebolledo in Concepcion, Chile, 03 July 2015. EPA/JAVIER VALDES
Peru 2-0 Paraguay: Andre Carrillo and Paolo Guerrero goals…
Argentina’s forward Lionel Messi warms up before their Copa America semifinal football match against Paraguay in Concepcion, Chile on June 30, 2015. AFP PHOTO / JUAN MABROMATA
Chile use PlayStation technology in bid to stop Lionel Messi…
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But it was Chile who, at the opposite end to the permanently empty seats that serve as a reminder of lives lost, held their nerve from 12 yards.

Even the Santiago smog had cleared sufficiently for the snow-kissed Andes to provide a stunning backdrop to the closing act of the 44th edition of the South American showpiece.
Chile wins Copa America with penalties defeat of Argentina

The Chile players mob Arsenal star Sanchez as the squad celebrate winning their first ever major trophy
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The Chile players mob Arsenal star Sanchez as the squad celebrate winning their first ever major trophy

Gonzalo Higuain balloons his spot kick wildly over the bar to hand the initiative to the host nation in Santiago
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Gonzalo Higuain balloons his spot kick wildly over the bar to hand the initiative to the host nation in Santiago

Tensions run high as both sets of players line up on the half-way line ahead of the crucial penalty shootout
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Tensions run high as both sets of players line up on the half-way line ahead of the crucial penalty shootout

Chile were one of four nations to have made up the first in 1916 but had never stepped on to the winners’ podium despite reaching the final on four previous occasions while Argentina were looking to quench their own 22-year trophy drought And La Albiceleste had triumphed at the last four Copa Americas held in this country.

The donation of 40,000 flags to the home support by a prominent philanthropist created a wall of red, white and blue with several thousand of their Argentinian counterparts able to get their hands on tickets which had reportedly been on sale for up to £16,000 on the black market Chile boss Jorge Sampaoli, tasked with masterminding victory over his homeland, dropped Jose Rojas after a poor performance against Peru in the semi-final.

And having locked himself away and agonised over how best to stop Lionel Messi, he opted to recall Jean Beausejour while Miiko Albornoz made way for Francisco Silva.

With Ezequiel Garay failing to recover from a stomach bug, Martin Demichelis retained his place at the heart of Argentina’s defence as Tata Martino stuck with the side that ran riot against Paraguay in the last four. Six of the line-up also started in the triumphant 2008 Olympic final in Beijing while seven remained from the defeat by Germany at the World Cup.

Chile had betrayed a sense of nervousness against Peru as they perhaps felt the weight of expectation for the first time following a hitherto near-flawless campaign.

But they made a bright start to the final, led by Jorge Valdivia, often more playboy than playmaker, but who had been instrumental in La Roja’s run to the final.

The hosts certainly showed no signs of abandoning their attacking principles in a frenetic start, even if their final deliveries were somewhat lacking. Eduardo Vargas, the hero in the semi-final, burst into the box but dragged his shot wide of the far post before Arturo Vidal broke from deep to volley goalwards only to be denied by a sprawling Sergio Romero.

But after a hesitant opening, Argentina almost broke the deadlock when Sergio Aguero met a near-post free-kick only for Claudio Bravo to react instantly and parry the header to safety. At the other end, Vargas latched on to an inch-perfect pass before proceeding to blaze his effort wastefully over the bar.
Gonzalo Higuain slides in at the back post but can only stab an effort into the side netting from an acute angle
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Gonzalo Higuain slides in at the back post but can only stab an effort into the side netting from an acute angle

Arsenal forward Alexis Sanchez watches his effort fly past the outstretched glove of Sergio Romero but past the post too
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Arsenal forward Alexis Sanchez watches his effort fly past the outstretched glove of Sergio Romero but past the post too
Argentina forward Lionel Messi ends up in the net but neither side managed to out the ball in the goal in 90 minutes
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Argentina forward Lionel Messi ends up in the net but neither side managed to out the ball in the goal in 90 minutes

Lionel Messi gets a kick in the midriff by former Cardiff player Gary Medel as the Barcelona forward take the ball down on his chest
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Lionel Messi gets a kick in the midriff by former Cardiff player Gary Medel as the Barcelona forward take the ball down on his chest

Chile defender Medel protests to the referee as he is awarded with a yellow card for kicking Messi in the stomach during the first half
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Chile defender Medel protests to the referee as he is awarded with a yellow card for kicking Messi in the stomach during the first half

Angel di Maria hits the deck after appearing to injure his hamstring during the first half before being substituted
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Angel di Maria hits the deck after appearing to injure his hamstring during the first half before being substituted

Chile manage to get the ball clear after goalkeeper Claudio Bravo makes a save in a crowded penalty area to deny Argentina
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Chile manage to get the ball clear after goalkeeper Claudio Bravo makes a save in a crowded penalty area to deny Argentina

Martino was forced into an unplanned switch on the half-hour mark when Angel di Maria, who had been the victim of persistent and blatant fouling, pulled his hamstring and was replaced by Ezequiel Lavezzi.

Chile had used PlayStation technology in an attempt to thrash out out a plan to thwart Messi but but Gary Medel resorted to less refined methods with a mistimed kick to his midriff.

Both sides had opportunities to go into the break in front with Sanchez curling the ball straight at Romero before Lavezzi forced Bravo into a smart stop at the other end.

And it was a similar story after the break with Vidal heading tamely at Argentina’s goalkeeper before the pace finally relented.
Manchester United midfielder Di Maria is sent tumbling to the turf under a strong challenge by Chile midfielder Charles Aranguiz
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Manchester United midfielder Di Maria is sent tumbling to the turf under a strong challenge by Chile midfielder Charles Aranguiz

Argentina midfielder Javier Mascherano points to his chest as the referee dishes out a yellow card for handball
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Argentina midfielder Javier Mascherano points to his chest as the referee dishes out a yellow card for handball

Argentina had looked most dangerous from set pieces but even Messi, a shadow of the man who tore Paraguay to shreds, failed to clear the wall with a free-kick from a threatening position.

Sanchez, who had endured a frustrating tournament in front of goal, almost set up his former Colo Colo team-mate Vidal for the opener but his shot at the back post was blocked. Sanchez was again the creator when he supplied Vargas but the former Queens Park Rangers loanee could not direct his shot either side of Romero.

With extra-time looming for the first time in the tournament, a sullen Valdivia refused to acknowledge his replacement Matias Fernandes while Martino turned to Gonzalo Higuain and Ever Banega.

But neither side looked prepared to grab this final by the scruff of the neck until Sanchez came within inches of winning it with a well-hit volley.
Chile midfielder Arturo Vidal is carried off the pitch on a stretcher after suffering a cut below his right knee but was OK to continue
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Chile midfielder Arturo Vidal is carried off the pitch on a stretcher after suffering a cut below his right knee but was OK to continue

Eduardo Vargas, who was on loan at QPR last season, goes down clutching his face after a collision with Nicolas Otamendi
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Eduardo Vargas, who was on loan at QPR last season, goes down clutching his face after a collision with Nicolas Otamendi

Messi goes down as the Barcelona star is crowded out by Chile midfielder Vidal and Jorge Valdívia
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Messi goes down as the Barcelona star is crowded out by Chile midfielder Vidal and Jorge Valdívia

The ever-animated Martino was left incredulous when referee Wilmar Roldan failed to award a penalty after Silva pulled Marcos Rojo to the ground inside the area.

And with the last kick of normal time, Higuain missed a glorious chance when he could only turn Lavezzi’s slightly overhit pass into the side netting after a rare solo run from Messi.

With legs tiring and tempers fraying, Marcelo Diaz curled an effort over the bar in extra-time before Sanchez took advantage of Javier Mascherano’s slip to scamper clear but, as a nation held its collective breath, the Arsenal forward failed to hit the target.
Arsenal forward Alexis Sanchez hurdles the challenge of Otamendi as Chile pour forward on the attack
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Arsenal forward Alexis Sanchez hurdles the challenge of Otamendi as Chile pour forward on the attack

Chile forward Vargas pulls his shorts and lets out a cry of frustration after missing a chance for the hosts
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Chile forward Vargas pulls his shorts and lets out a cry of frustration after missing a chance for the hosts

Four time Ballon d’Or winner Messi attempts to evade the challenge of Aranguiz, who keeps the Argentine in close quarters
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Four time Ballon d’Or winner Messi attempts to evade the challenge of Aranguiz, who keeps the Argentine in close quarters

A rousing rendition of the Chilean national anthem preceded the shoot-out with deafening whistles accompanying each Argentinian effort.

Messi made no mistake but his strike was rendered meaningless when Higuain fired high into the stand before Banega’s weak effort was comfortably saved by Bravo.

Vidal, who had squeezed home his own penalty, immediately broke rank and sprinted half the length of the pitch to congratulate his captain before returning to watch Sanchez finish the job.

And a ground that has witnessed such sorrow, smiled again.
Chile goalkeeper Claudio Bravo watches on as Argentina forward Sergio Aguero beats Medel to the ball and gets a header towards goal
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Chile goalkeeper Claudio Bravo watches on as Argentina forward Sergio Aguero beats Medel to the ball and gets a header towards goal

Medel goes down under the challenge of Aguero as the Manchester City striker snaps away at the Chilean during heated affair
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Medel goes down under the challenge of Aguero as the Manchester City striker snaps away at the Chilean during heated affair

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Chile fans pose for the camera ahead of the Copa America final against Argentina at the National Stadium in Santiago

The Argentina squad line up ahead of the match with Gerardo Martino’s side bidding to win the tournament for the first time since 1993
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The Argentina squad line up ahead of the match with Gerardo Martino’s side bidding to win the tournament for the first time since 1993

Doctorates, Down-Dogs, and the Challenge of Self Talk

The day I submitted my PhD dissertation was also my 95th day of a self-imposed 100 day yoga challenge. I had never intended to complete both tasks in such quick succession. Indeed, the fact that I actually completed either task at all feels like a happy, but surreal surprise. Despite the five and half years spent researching and writing my dissertation, and the nearly four years of dedicated yoga practice, my accomplishments still surprised me. The reason being, I am a serial under-estimator. A career denial-ist. A seasoned veteran of negative self-talk.

It wasn’t actually until I developed a daily yoga practice (alongside Buddhist meditation classes I had been taking for years) that I became aware of the stories I was telling myself about myself, and began to see how these stories were holding me back. Negative self-talk usually accompanies an activity with which you might feel pride or success. Education and exercise are some of the most fruitful grounds for pride and success. They are measurable; in many cases quantifiable. Because of this, we must weave more elaborate personal stories to discount our work and effort. This was my sweet spot.

All the usual suspects were there: you’re in way over your head, there’s no way you can do this, you’re setting yourself up for failure – and the inevitable knock-out punch – no one will ever love you and they will be right. For anyone who hasn’t engaged in this kind of self-talk, I understand it sounds extreme. Those of us who have will know that these messages come after meticulous, and seemingly well-reasoned inner dialogue that leads to what feels like a logical conclusion: we are not worthy. Of success. Of love. Of letting go.

Beautifully, yoga teaches the opposite. I was encouraged to let go of expectations, to be kind to myself, practice gratitude, and celebrate the present. Each message was received in contrast to my usual pattern of self-talk. My pattern went like this: Your work is never good enough, your waist is never small enough, and every time you cross off something on your to-do list, two more tasks will take its place. This is where the contrast between my dissertation work and my yoga challenge became very apparent.

Academia, like many occupations, thrives on perfectionism and hierarchies. It’s processes encourage competition alongside dwindling resources and employment. For the final years of my PhD I found myself working 4 jobs, alongside writing what became a 250 page manuscript of original research. Even working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, I never felt I was doing enough. I couldn’t commit fully to any one task, and the shear volume of work on my plate meant that I was never finished. Such a reality only fed my already honed skill of negative self talk. Despite my best efforts, it was never good enough. I was never good enough.

Slowly, yoga taught me to appreciate intention. The act of coming to my mat, even if all I did was lie on the floor for an hour, was enough. And I did lie on the floor. A lot. And when I was lying there, I would repeat: you are enough. Slowly, I began to motivate myself, not through shame, but through kindness and gratitude. I began to talk to myself as I would talk to a friend. I began to encourage myself as I would encourage a student. I began to live in my body differently. Suddenly it wasn’t about what I looked like, it was about what I could do. I could touch my toes (for the first time at 30 years old!) I could hold plank, I could flip my dog, and on one glorious occasion, I lifted myself up into wheel. I couldn’t deny it. I couldn’t talk myself out of it. It was happening.

This approach to my physical self began to inspire a shift in my approach to my intellectual self. I began to appreciate my intentions rather than material outcomes. I began to acknowledge my commitment to my students and their learning, in the face of institutional invisibility and economic exploitation, as a strength, rather than a weakness. As something that reflected integrity, not foolishness or incapability. I can say with absolute certainty that this intellectual shift was the only way I was able to make it through the process. I would never have experienced this shift, without the knowledge I gained from a dedicated yoga practice and a community of kind, wise teachers. I could easily have joined the ranks of students who have left graduate programs prior to completion. The system seems designed to work you until you reach a breaking point. Much like hazing, the emphasis is placed on how much you can withstand, not on the unique and beautiful things you bring to the table, just by being who you are.

Academia is not alone in this approach. In fact, the argument could be made that this is a cultural problem. The workoholic, the super mom, and the corporate ladder-climber, are each symptomatic of the same kinds of messaging: you are not doing enough. You are not enough. These messages are reinforced by the myth of meritocracy: success comes from hard work, thus, if you are not successful, you are not working hard enough. These cultural voices are loud and convincing. They speak to and embolden that negative inner voice that resides in each of us (even if yours isn’t as loud as mine, I suspect you can think of an example where you have engaged in negative self talk in relation to your own life, work or relationships). I think shifting our own patterns of self talk can have political, even revolutionary cultural consequences.

Writing a doctoral thesis and completing 100 straight days of hot yoga (did I mention it was hot yoga?) both involve a great deal of dedication, perseverance, and for better or worse, a LOT of alone time. Self talk becomes a life line, the only thing that keeps your fingers typing, and your arms extended in mountain pose. It was only by working on these two goals, simultaneously, that I was able to understand my own patterns of self-talk. Better yet, it actually taught me how to talk to myself differently. Rather than motivate myself through shame or projected judgement, I became kinder, more friendly and encouraging of myself as a human being; as flawed and imperfect, yet still whole and deserving of success. Of love. Of letting go.

Besides Savasana, Dr. Jen enjoys building a supportive community around teaching, learning and celebrating strengths. She aspires to be brave, passionate and helpful. When she isn’t teaching first year university students, or talking about her feelings, she is indulging her love of supporting moms and babies at a young mother’s group in London, Ontario.

COMMENTS

What a great post! Thank you so much for sharing your story. Getting past the negative self talk (in academia and in life) is something that resonates for so many (me included). Your approach is really inspiring. I love how you used yoga and Buddhism to become aware of and change your patterns. And congratulations on your PhD. That is an amazing accomplishment!

Thank you so much Tracy! Your kind words and encouragement mean a lot! It can be scary to share our feelings, but it can also be motivating and help to foster deeper relationships with those around us. I’m glad that my words resonated with you, and I hope you are practicing more positive self talk as well!

Congratulations.
I didn’t realize everyone DIDN’T have that mean inner voice that criticized and insulted.
Understanding I could change mine has transformed my life. Yoga is my “secret weapon” too.
Making choices that are supportive and kind versus critical and full of fear. Amazing.
I sounds like you have found a way to do that too!
Anne

Thank you Anne! And yes you are so right. I wonder where that voice comes from? Though I suppose that knowing how to quiet it is what is most important! Glad to have connected with a fellow yogi – it is such a beautiful form of exercise for the things it can teach us about ourselves.

So encouraging to read your story. I started doing yoga about 3 months ago and didn’t think I would be able to do it. Was I wrong! It has taught me so much – most importantly to appreciate my body for what it is. I have been considering going back to get my doctorate and have been struggling with the negative self talk myself. After reading your story I have a renewed hope. Thank you.

Thank you AJ! I felt the exact same way when I started practicing. One of the things I love about yoga is that the incremental changes are obvious and quick to show. You notice that you can hold a little longer, bend a little farther, reach a little higher each day, and it is infectious! I hope your yoga practice continues to be affirming and inspiring for you (as it is for me!) 🙂

Congrats on finishing your PhD! I’d like to try the yoga thing. I don’t know a lot of poses though, did you use something to learn about it that others could use? Or maybe you’ve just been doing it long enough that you already knew. Can’t hurt to ask! Thank you!

Reblogged this on James Zannetti Photo and commented:
Images are not just objects we capture with a camera. Images are also something we create in our mind in reference to our opinions of others, and more importantly ourselves. Check out this largely brilliant article on self talk, and let’s all practice the art of talking to ourselves…

This piece is both beautiful and inspiring. I struggle with the same doubts of myself but somehow trudge through. I am a critical care nurse and there are many times I have kicked myself when things didn’t go as expected. I also expect alot from myself. I got to explore Buddhism before and I remember how calm I felt after the meditation. The mindfulness bell seems to resonate through to the soul. again beautiful article and congratulations on PhD.

I applaud you! Well done in all your accomplishments. I too am enjoying yoga. I’m not as dedicated as you as I am still battling some areas of self esteem. However, I’m also learning Buddhism and meditation and this has changed other areas of me and how I think… I hope, like you, I accomplish my goals this year. Yay to you, you are an inspiration!

Yoga is amazing, I think it is the true cure for low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, etc. Now I’m not a doctor, just somebody whose been through the process, and an advocate for how yoga can change your life for the better in so many ways! Great post!

I loved reading this. I, too, am a perfectionist and have an inner voice who is a sour old bitch. This not only was uplifting, but inspired me to try yoga as a way of letting go of some of my extreme and negative self-talk. I look forward to reading more of your posts!

Great self-report and at the same time in critical correspondence with our cultural frames. Having taught and teaching at University, I am deeply convinced that this (all in all wonderful) institution is in need of self-techniques like yoga. It would change the way that theory and evidence are perceived and represented. Interestingly many student do not only not expect but are even opposed to addressing their real Development AS human beings (through yoga and other techniques of the self [Foucault]). There ia a cultural expectation that Academia will communicate and produce “objective knowledge” that is mit depending on personality and experience. This is not true.
Thanks for telling your story.

Reblogged this on tea leaves and dreams and commented:
I promise not to keep posting reblogs. But she highlights a lot of my reasons for starting and continuing my yoga practice this year. I don’t do it often enough. I’m not great at it; but that’s the best bit – every time I do it, I challenge my body in different ways, and it’s exciting to know this and become more accepting of my body in this way. It’s very much a mind-body practice. Inspired to start my own X-Days yoga challenge.

Reblogged this on Henrik Jungaberle and commented:
Self-Talk blogpost: Academia is in need of addressing peoples deep personal development and life issues. This is true for students, researchers and teachers.
Knowledge is not information.

Honestly, it was not the yoga… dont say that yoga did this for you. You engaged in the same thing that many who do CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy) do in their sessions with a therapist. Yoga was your touch-stone, your occasioning stimulus to which you responded and saw the positive effects; the outcome, the reward. Stimulus –> Response –> Outcome. I am not trying to say that Yoga is bad for you — quite the opposite; however, don’t underestimate that it was your thoughts and behaviors that made this happen, Yoga afforded the opportunity and mindset for you to do it — it offered the right atmosphere. I am just starting my PhD so I guess I am on the other end haha. Congratz! I am blogging about my experiences from start to finish if you want to check it out: PhDealer

Love this post! I think it’s so amazing you were able to finish your dissertation with so much grace. As a recent graduate (who knows how hard thesis writing and academia can be on the heart) and new mom it was also so cool to read that you’re also passionate about running a Mom group! Congrats to you!

Reblogged this on littlevoicesclaspinghands and commented:
Love this women’s excellent critique of academia, more specifically what it takes to not let these institutions starve your heart. Thank you for this!

For me, the weeks and days leading up to Ramadan are filled with hope, enthusiasm and determination. I look forward to the days and nights of tranquility, and a sense of unity among the ummah, worldwide. I long for the shayateen to be locked up, so that I can begin my soul searching and be steadfast in my worship. Just the thought of having the chance to improve myself and gain both reward and forgiveness seems to relieve my heart and make me happy.