Hi I have been diagnosed with extreme anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD- I cannot tolerate disorder and create lists and label everything. I am also apparently bipolar. I have the pressured speech, sleep disturbances, issues at work when very tired and in physical pain. I have also begun to have panic attacks. These are very crippling and causes me to make poor decisions so have troublea at work. Since early this year I have begun to have these very weird episodes where I an almost detached from everything around me. I hear but can't hear. See but can't see. It is hard to describe I can't walk well or I feel Im going to fall over. Driving is also a challege so these episodes just come on with no apparent warning. I feel self-conscious and feel like I am being watched. It takes freat concentration to drive, walk, etc. I feel deugged although I have not taken anything out of the ordinary nor do I feel depressed. I feel like I am on Prozac- it was one if the first deugs I took after my sister's suicide triggered all these issues. Even then I did not have these strange attacks. The last one was so bad I had to be led to bed. After sleeping for a while I felt like i was being washed over with serotonin and dopamin. I felt great and did so for a while. Although i am not at the height of my depression where I am catatonic and not even Able to work. For about 20 years I have suffered frim depression but I do struggle and I am living a happy stable life. People blow off depression. You can't just 'be happy' so I tell noone my issues but it does cause me problems . I am a teacher and will sometime be lecturing and forget in midaentence what I am saying. Perception is everything. I haven't pursued my Ph. D. For fear I will not have the energy to complete it. I do not understand why I have these episodes since I have adjusted my life to be calm, less stressful and simple life.

I am not an alcohol or drug abuser. I do not have violent tendencies or anger issues. I have tried for 20 years to feel normal and happy. I have tried everything from clonazepam, to alprazolam- which does help with the anxiety, to every new SSRI on the market. I now take 20mg of Paroxetine a day. I dont know if it helps but I can at least afford that drug. Some others are too far out of my financial reach.
I also have constant migraines but that is another issue. Any advice?

Hi hatsheput12. I am really surprised that benzos like xanax and klonopin
don't help your anxiety. Benzos are really the only true anti-anxiety meds and they often work wonderful for anxiety when you first start taking them, but the effect can gradually wane over time as you become more and more tolerant after long-term use. They also have a really nasty withdrawal associated with them if you ever have to withdraw.

I am surprised you have the energy and motivation to pursue a PhD while struggling with these issues. I also take a SSRI but these tend not to help much with anxiety. How are you doing on the 20 mgs of paxil? Have you ever tried to meditate? I have had limited success with it, but I need to be more consistent.