Fear

Dear old and new friends,

If a cosmic stranger from another solar system visited Planet Earth this coming weekend of October 31st, he/she or it might surmise Earth folk were celebrating some kind of a Festival of Fear. Stores and homes are decked out with a variety of scary images of death, flying witches and bats. Children and adults parade around dressed up in frightening masks and costumes. But far from being afraid, all seem to be having fun.

Halloween is a fun holiday, but those fears haunting many aren’t funny! Halloween—the Eve of All Hallows, all holy ones—challenges us to live the words the angel Gabriel spoke to Mary, “Do not be afraid”; the same words often used by Jesus of Nazareth. The admonition to “fear not” appears over and over in Christian scriptures! If you repeat those affirming words aloud to yourself daily as your morning prayer, imagine the consequences!

Being afraid (something adults are ashamed to admit) can be attached to a particular threat…some authoritarian person, snakes, flying, growing old, the dark, being a failure, or that most common fear of having to stand up alone and speak to a large audience. Fears can come and go as we move from one age to another, or grow into toxic worry.

As a Catholic looking back at my youth, I believe I suffered from the disease of Toxic Worry. The psychiatrist Edward Hallowell (and no, that’s not a play on Halloween) describes it as a disease of the imagination that is insidious and invisible like a virus that worms its way into your consciousness where it actually dominates your life. Toxic worry shrinks your enjoyment of life, cripples your creativity and your ability to love. I picked up the virus of this disease from the Baltimore Catechism and its moral teachings. Back in those days I feared the occasions of sin, and that could include motion pictures, magazine photos, your thoughts, meat on Friday, even your friends, it seemed. Really, just about anything.

The toxic (meaning poisonous) worry like all infections spreads to life itself, and while it continues to involve religion, it moves beyond it to anxiety about yourself and how you appeared to others, your popularity, your failures or successes. Marvelously miraculous is the human body in its self-healing abilities to mend wounds, and so too the mind which, with maturity, causes some fears to disappear. However, there can be those deeply embedded fears that remain. I was fortunate to find a mentor who helped me resolve my toxic worry by simply having me meditate on these liberating words: “Perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)

So if you are burdened with some fear, I suggest you slowly love and accept whatever worries you, along with all of life’s problems and threats. Strive to truly love yourself; all your body, your mind, talents and inabilities, blunders and attainments, as you daily pray with zeal, “Do not be afraid!”

Closeted Monsters

Dear old and new friends, Less than a week ago at your front door monsters appeared; actually small children in scary disguises. This reflection is about the real monsters hidden away in your closet. Everyone has at least one or two closeted fearful monsters. In 1891 electric lights were first installed in the White House and by 1921 President Harding and his wife were still afraid to use the wall light switches lest they be seriously electrically shocked—or worse. Many of their servants felt the same, so one White House domestic servant was chosen to perform that hazardous task. There’s a story that one evening this appointed light switch servant happened to be away, resulting in the White House’s electric lights being left blazing all night. A paradoxical fear is the reason that in countless children’s bedrooms a light is left on all night because of a fear of the darkness. That dread of the dark and the unknown dangers lurking in it continues into adulthood. Of what are you afraid? Don’t rush to answer…rather stop here and pause to seriously seek the answer to that question. While snakes, public speaking, insects, homegrown Islamic terrorists, flying, brain cancer and even change are possible answers, what do you fear the most? Whatever is your greatest fear, don’t evade it but face it directly. Picture it clearly with its painful consequences, and how you would deal with them until you are able to manage that fear as something you can live with without being frightened. Jesus, encouraging a life of trusting, frequently admonished, “Do not be afraid.” As a faithful disciple you might say you’re not afraid of anything. That is a pious response but not a good answer since your survival necessitates being afraid of such things as poisonous snakes. An essential part of a Zen Samurai warrior training is overcoming the fear of death, and connected to that training comes one of my very favorite stories:Once there was an infamous Japanese warlord and his army who were terrorizing a mountain region of small villages that included a Zen monastery. Upon hearing this notorious warlord and his rampaging soldiers were approaching the monastery all the monks fled into the mountains…except the Abbot. When the warlord arrived at the Zen monastery’s gates they stood wide open, so he boldly stalked alone into the deserted courtyard.At the far end was the temple and at the top of its steps stood the old abbot with his arms folded as the warlord in full armor and with his hand gripping the handle of his large Samurai sword stomped across the courtyard to him. At the foot of the steps, he stopped, and snarled, “Do you know you are looking at a man who without batting an eye could run you through with his sword?”The old Zen Abbot bowed slightly and replied smiling, “Do you know that you are looking at a man who could be run through with your sword without batting an eye?” The warlord bowed deeply, and then slowly backed out of the courtyard since he had come face to face with a man who wasn't afraid to die.

A Christmas Gift We Fear to Use

Doomsday is this Friday the 21st, the end of the 5,125-year cycle of the Mayan Calendar. For countless people this means the apocalyptic end of the world! Store shelves in some cities in Russia are stripped bare of candles, bread, kerosene, matches and sugar as the fearful prepare for Friday’s catastrophe. Yet for the Mayans the end of one calendar era simply meant the start of a new one. Planet earth will end cataclysmically—in about 6 billion years when our day star the sun exhausts all its hydrogen. Then, as it devours its helium, it will rapidly expand to 100 times its present size, engulfing our earth and vaporizing it in its death struggle. Dire predictions of the end of the world have existed for thousands of years before Bethlehem’s first Christmas. Our prehistoric relatives lived these days in December with great primal horror, believing the sun was dying as the sunlight decreased and the frigid darkness increased. On December 21st, the winter solstice, they ritually kindled fiery bonfires and made sacrifices to bring back the shrinking sun. Since the dawn of time the constant companion of humans has been fear: the terror of prehistoric monstrous beasts, death, pestilence, war, the whip, slavery, and whoever was the Caesar of the day. Religion was born out of fear. Fright of the fickleness of gods produced altars, temples, blood-spattered rituals and human sacrifices to appease them. From prehistoric to modern times, religion festers and feeds on fear. For centuries an idle thought contrary to a dogma caused terror of the Inquisition, the terror of excommunication and the greatest fear of all—hell! Even today many are haunted by the possibility of spending an eternity in hellish, painful punishment. The very first Christmas wish wasn’t “Merry Christmas,” but rather “Do not be afraid.” It was spoken to terrified shepherds who were told, “A savior has been born to you, and you’ll find him in manger.” A savior is a liberator! When that infant in the manger grew to manhood he became a great rescuer of those frightened to death of a Judgmental God, of the power of the Temple and its fear-mongering priesthood. Repeatedly, about all of life’s terrors, he taught, “Fear not!” As it is said, “Perfect love casts out fear.” (1 Jn.4: 18) The finest of all Christmas gifts is freedom from fear, which removes the greatest obstacle to your happiness. To enjoy using your Christmas Liberator’s gift, think for yourself rather than letting others think for you, confidently following the quiet voice of your conscience, and do not be afraid of what others think or say about you. Walking in the footsteps of the Great Liberator-Rescuer may you have a happy Christmas day and a life full of happy days.

Impractical Advice

We feel the sharp pinpricks of pain whenever we lose anything—our purse, wallet, a favorite photo or an old treasured memento. Losing things is attributed to a lack of attention or (more frighteningly) to the forgetfulness of aging. To prevent losing or misplacing such things as car keys, simply develop a new habit. Routinely keep your car keys in the same place when they are not in use and always place them back there after using them. That’s a way to create a no-lose habit. Another way is to practice being mindful of what you are doing while you are doing it. Sound easy? It isn’t because we typically are distracted. Inattention—being distracted by wandering thoughts—is the most common complaint of those attempting to meditate or pray. Being distracted, however, isn’t a byproduct of praying; it is the mind’s abiding state. The mind is engaged with thoughts of the past or the future, and rarely with the present moment. We are unaware of this endless merry-go-round of thoughts of the mind until we attempt to focus it on one activity, such as praying, meditating or studying. A simple solution to prevent losing things (and having fewer distractions in your prayer) is to do just one thing at a time and bring your full attention to what you’re doing. Simple, yet actually doing it requires gargantuan mental discipline. Perhaps the greatest of all fears is the loss of someone you love. No good habits or spiritual practice can prevent this fear from eventually becoming a reality. One of the wisest sayings of the Galilean Teacher is, “Fear not.” When his advice is applied to our subterranean fear of losing someone deeply loved, it sounds flippantly superficial—yet, it is profoundly true. Helen Keller spoke to its truthfulness when she said, “What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we loved deeply becomes part of us!” To personalize her insight, begin by not limiting yourself to your body. Next take a few moments to gaze at someone you love, seeing her or him not as someone separate from you, but as being intimately united body and soul with you. Then rejoice and do not be afraid, for you cannot lose that with which you are totally one.

Edward Hays

Haysian haphazard thoughts on theinvisible and visible mysteries of life.