Twisted Mumbles Poetryby jeseca Lowell

I have been alone, surrounded by manyAnd stood by no one at all.Times the only friend I had was the one in the mirror but I never faltered.Times where there were too many to countbut I never knew where to land.I have had nothing to my namePlenty to give But I have never felt as if I could breathe.I turn my head behind meAnd I still feel the struggle in those footprintsBut looking forward I know they won't be as deep.Still I cannot shake the uneasy feeling Of somehow not being enoughTo the people around me, to myself,To that little girl who now rests In the journals that line that plastic container.I wish I could calm the storm that chases me.Somehow I've become the twister I seekBut I realize that turmoil that brews withinHas always been the fire that keeps me alive.I could take it easy if I wanted toAllow people to help me in the wayThey have always wanted toBut I don't know if I will ever shake offThis need to do it all by myselfBecause so much of my life has been spent Two steps away from everyone else.It has never made me sad or angryJust uneasy, always restless, Worried about things I know I cannot control.

All I want to give you is a smileI want to embrace you and love you,Understanding that to do thatI often give too much of myselfBut there are no regrets for this life.I have no fears of the things that lie inside of meI can be thankful for knowing what nothing feels likeAnd I can be accept that these feelings I feel are sometimes too much to bare.I have been strong while still feeling weak,Been shattered but too stubborn to show my piecesBecause when you look at meI know, have always known, that I must remain steady.And I know there are times when you want to shake me because I won't stop.Sometimes when I look back at yesterdayI feel the days that chase,The old versions of myself that I wasAnd all those versions of myself I will never be,But now I understand my short breathI understand that stopping has never been me.