well i totally agree with u, but there are other reasons to having another wife, like high sex drives? instead of being primiscious they get another wife,but if its the women who has a high sex drive then the men are supposed to cope,oh and what if their are no children....yep i can also say like ur self that one should adopt, but what if they dont want to adopt, there are so many other reasons,if one was to see that there is still poverty around the world and women are unfortunatley open to selling themselves, then again it is best to get married to someone who can afford to keep u as his wife instead of that women degrading herself, the subject can go on n on, but ill leave it at this.

I am new to this forum but wanted to reply. I am Catholic so just to let you know first. I think that in the time of Mohammad because of wars, because of famine there was a practical aspect to having more than one wife because it assisted families, now, in today's day and age (excluding places like Palestine and Iraq and Afghanistan, Ethiopia, Somolia) I do not think that there is a need for more than one wife since most Arab/Muslim nations are not experiencing war or famine.

As salaamu alaikum,
Sister you lost me with your last post. My advice to you myself and others, is to never put yourself down except on matters that are true. And even with that know that Allah has given us guidance on how to improve. So our job is not to lose all hope or complain. Our job is to strive with our upmost to please Allah, using that which He have us. May Allah make us all ones that love this and do this, ameen.

Sister on another note, this blog isn't about what we've turned it into. That'd being the case we should either start a new blog or go over to the one I already started about sunnah. There you can give in your own words what sunnah is to you and how you feel it should be followed. Or the one about degrees, that is for opinions, any other one I started.
But we should respect this brother's blog for what it is isha Allah.

sweetsufia write: i suppose you are in the opinion that if a person is not intellectually up to par then they can just quote, having an opinion would never be sufficient, and voicing such an opinion would be of bad character, and prohibited in ur view. these are just my supposings (see just gave u another issue to comment on "my bad grammar"..oops i mean quote a book on, u do quote other books besides Quran don't you, since to have your own opinion would never due! AH

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An opinion means nothing when we are talking about Islam, nothing. If a person is making a comment, or wanting or needing to know something, why give your opinion when Allah and His messenger SAWS have already spoken? Read 49:1 again. Who better to get your answer(s) from?

Now on matters outside the deen, you can have all of the opinions you or anybody else wants. Why then and not before? Because this doesn't conflict with Islam, and the other one does. Again 49:1
There are times when the ulemaa have to give their opinion(s). But the difference is that they have looked into the Qur'an and Sunnah, and based on knowledge (even if they didn't find that particular matter) give a ruling. They don't just say do this or I think that based on them wanting it to be that way. So how are we, the common layperson going to do what the people who fear Allah the most don't do?

Forgot to answer this one...yes I do quote from other than the Qur'an. I quote the Qur'an, books of ahadith, and the books of the ulemaa, and students of the ulemaa. But there are ulemaa and students of the ulemaa that want things their way you say??? I don't quote them because they are not following an nabi SAWS as commanded by Allah, nor are they following the first 3 generations as commanded by an nabi SAWS. So those people are outside of who I follow and quote.

No I was talking to a certain person, which he knows who he is......A man who thinks he knows everything,but really knows nothing at all....have a nice day! AH

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Sister I am the only person that disagreed with you so openly, so it must be me that your referring to. So I'll take the bait. I know that I know nothing, and have know that for over 7 years masha Allah.

alichem write: Assalam-o-alaikom Yes dear brother you are absolutely right .thanks for your correction..but what I meant was just to emphasise on the good aspect of deen thats is very very natural...there isnt any thing in deen thats seems unnatural are unacceptable to our mind and heart..but for that we have to have knowledge about islam .. I did not mean that every should make decision and new rule in islam just by think on their own..I just mena that if one thinks over any concept any hadith of Hazrat Muhammad (WAWS) one will find it correct and natural...I hope u getting my point..Or I may not be that clear in expressing my point of veiw.. thanks

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Masha Allah brother point is now understood. I pointed that out because there are people that think we can know this deen without referring back to the Qur'an and Sunnah. They believe that our intellect is all we need in understanding Allah's deen. What a shame.
May Allah reward you with all good, ameen.

Assalam-o-alaikom
Yes dear brother you are absolutely right .thanks for your correction..but what I meant was just to emphasise on the good aspect of deen thats is very very natural...there isnt any thing in deen thats seems unnatural are unacceptable to our mind and heart..but for that we have to have knowledge about islam .. I did not mean that every should make decision and new rule in islam just by think on their own..I just mena that if one thinks over any concept any hadith of Hazrat Muhammad (WAWS) one will find it correct and natural...I hope u getting my point..Or I may not be that clear in expressing my point of veiw..
thanks

Its so great and pleasing to read ur message ( sweet sofia). As u said u r not a scholar but yet u wrote very clear and excellent message about polygamy..thats the beauty of islam that its natural realistic and scientific. If u do not have a good knowledge about a particular issue..u just look at ur heart and think over it with your live zameer (the inner feeling) u will arrive at a decision which is really islamic... great to read the message

Thanks Ali Biochemist Peshawar NWFP Pakistan

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As Salaamu alaikum ahki,
Islam is not a religion that one can simply think about (intellect) to find answers. All of the answers have been given to us by Allah in Qur'an, in the sunnah of an nabi SAWS, and/or in the understanding of the sahaaba. That is way we are told to follow an nabi SAWS, and the first three generations of muslims. Because they were rightly guided. So if anything that we say or do that involves deen, it must follow what they said and did in deen. Anything that we say or do outside of deen, there must be evidence from the deen to prove that it isn't allowed.

Its so great and pleasing to read ur message ( sweet sofia). As u said u r not a scholar but yet u wrote very clear and excellent message about polygamy..thats the beauty of islam that its natural realistic and scientific. If u do not have a good knowledge about a particular issue..u just look at ur heart and think over it with your live zameer (the inner feeling) u will arrive at a decision which is really islamic...
great to read the message

okay what's wrong with my manners? I haven't wrote anything that is personally directed at anyone. I have wrote things that are directed at others thoughts on issues related to the religion. That is not bad manners as you can read that an nabi SAWS did the same thing. So exactly what did I write that show bad manners?

The Prophet (saaws) said: "The most beloved of Allah's servants to Allah are those with the best manners."

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Muslim, and Tirmidhi

... 'Abd Allah ibn 'Amr said, "The Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, was never obscene or coarse. Rather, he used to tell us that the best among us were those with the best manners."

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Muslim and Ahmad

... Anas said, "I served the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, for ten years. During that time, he never once said to me as much as 'Oof' if I did something wrong. He never asked me, if I had failed to do something, 'Why did you not do it?,' and he never said to me, if I had done something wrong, 'Why did you do it?' "

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners # 285, Hakim, and Abu Dawud

... Abu Huraira, r.a., said that the Prophet of Allah, saaws, said, "If one has good manners, one may attain the same level of merit as those who spend their nights in prayer."

... Nawas ibn Sam'an reported that the Prophet of Allah, saaws, was asked about doing good and evil. He replied, "Doing good is having good manners. Doing evil is what troubles you inside and what you would not like others to know about."

Character???isn't that how someone is? Well anyway the short and sweet of it anyhow is the reflection of your heart. This goes hand-in-hand with manners. One is how you are and the other shows us. That's off the top of my head, so if there is anything wrong in that surely it is from me. Insha Allah I'll be home this weekend so I'll post what the deen says is character, insha Allah.
By reading your reply it sounds as though you took it personal. Words without the sound can be misleading...snyway I'm no one to enlighten anybody. After talking with brothers who have gone and studied, attending lectures, and listening to lectures on this subject...some things are just clear on my pathic little level, walhamdulilah.
Anyway 49:1 gives us "the" method on where to get all of our knowledge from, 33:21 tells why follow his SAWS example, so does 58:20-22, so does 68:4(which also answers your question on character).

As salaamu alaikum believers.
Not to sound disrespectful sister, but your wrong about polygany being the exception. Well you are correct that that is the case nowadays, but in the first 95% of the history of Islam polygany was the rule...not the exception. Also if you read the ayah again you'll clearly see that Allah made having 1 wife the exception for those wanting a plural marriage. Most ppl say that it is too difficult. If that were the case wouldn't Allah and His Rasool have stated that? Being just applies to those things we have control over, not everything. Now if a sister is materialistic, has bad character, bad manners, and bad deen...I can't see why a brother would marry her at all. Even if she only had one of the above brothers shouldn't marry her. Sisters with the above that is good, would follow the example of the sahaabiyet and try their upmost to control their jealously fisabillilah. That would help the marriage last, wa Allahu Alim.

geldingforyou write: Very valid points OKC, although as I understand it males can have more than one wife but a woman cannot have more than one husband. But can a male handle more than one woman. I think he would become exhausted.

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Ahki, sure that may be the case for a small number of men, but as for the majority of us more than one wife would make life a lot easier. Why, because Allah has made this nature for men. I and most men who have been kaafir had more than one woman many times. Nowadays what makes things hard are the living standards of the women. Sisters make things difficult sometimes on purpose so that a brother can't afford to or want to take another wife. Most of the time it is by way of material things and the threat of leaving him if he marrys again. This clearly shows that she and sadly he doesn't know their deen. This happened with the mothers of the believers, so look and see how an nabi SAWS handled that. Just a hint...he SAWS didn't give in to them at all nor did any of the sahaabah RA.

The Quran say men can have more the one wife but only if the man can do justice between them other wise he can only marry one. It is not compulsory for a Muslim man to have more then one wife. If you look as a lot of European countries there are more females then males and some event have a higher female birth rate. That means there are more females then male. There is something like 4 million more females then males in the UK alone. For a female to have more then one husband increases the chance of std?s were as if a man has more then one wife this is not the case. Hope you can see some of Allah wisdom behind allowing a man to have more then one wife.

Very valid points OKC, although as I understand it males can have more than one wife but a woman cannot have more than one husband. But can a male handle more than one woman. I think he would become exhausted.