If Farrah is, indeed, following a prescribed path to “stardom,” it is difficult to miss the parallels between her course and Lindsay Lohan’s—albeit with one crucial difference. As troubled as Lindsay’s time in the spotlight has been, she has had one thing going for her that Farrah does not (besides the fact that dear LiLo had built quite a successful acting career for herself before the problems started): Lindsay doesn’t have a child. And thank heavens that she doesn’t, because her story is already sad enough; Meanie can’t even bear to think what it would be like had Lindsay been a mother as well.

Farrah, however, first became known for the very fact that she had a child at a very young age; not for the first time, Meanie finds herself concerned about what sort of impact all of Farrah’s exploits are having on her four-year-old daughter, Sophia. Sophia will be staying under the care of Farrah’s father, Mike, while the no-longer-teen mom does her rehab time; but what must it be like to have a mother who is famous not for her talent or for her accomplishments, but rather for her increasingly poor decision making skills?

For her part, Farrah has released the following statement: “At this time in my life, I need to stay focused on the positive to get through all of the negative that a DUI has caused in my life. I’m 22 and I want to make better choices and ensure I can recognize when I am putting myself in a bad situation next time”—to which Meanie can’t help but want to give Farrah an “Italian mother reflex” slap. Farrah, dear? The DUI is not the sole cause of the negativity in your life. You have only yourself to blame for that, from how you ended up with a DUI in the first place (pro tip, Farrah: If you are the designated driver for someone, that means no drinking. None. Not even if your friends don’t want to leave when you do. If you MUST drink something to make yourself feel better about sticking around, then sip something non-alcoholic: Orange juice, soda, or even good, plain water) all the back to your spoiled, diva-minus-the-skills behavior.

Perhaps rehab will help Farrah to realize that there is no shame in dropping out of the spotlight. When Andy Warhol’s proverbial fifteen minutes have long since ticked away, the only thing to do is to get on with simply living one’s life.