to be annoyed with my DH?

When they got home @11.30pm I thought that my DS's eyes looked a bit bloodshot, I then realised I could smell alcohol off him. As you can imagine I wasn't very happy about this. He told me that he had drunk half of a Kopparburg .cider. I must say he def wasn't drunk at all. We had a chat about it and then he went to bed. Obviously I would rather he didn't have any alcohol to drink but I'm realistic and know that he might try different types of alcohol and I would far rather him try lager/cider than "hard" spirits.

After our DS went to bed I spoke to my DH and asked him if he had not noticed the smell of booze from our DS and he said "Yes, as soon as he got in the car" but thought he would wait until we got home as he knew I would want to say something to him

Now, I think that's unfair and a cop-out-surely as the DP picking him up it should have been down to DH to say something to DS? Why wait until they get home so I can be the bad guy?

I don't think he was bu. It's joint parenting surely. He knows you well enough to know that you'll want to say something to your ds and didn't want the kid to have a double ear bashing, which would be unnecessary.

Honestly, if they walked through the door and dh said on the quiet 'I've already spoken to him about the alcohol, no need to mention it' - would you have been happy to completely leave it?

I don't think you get bloodshot eyes or stink of booze from drinking half a can of cider! I also don't think that's how much 15 year old lads drink at parties.

If your DH has form for copping out maybe he did just hope you'd deal with it. But maybe he just thought it was a conversation that would be better had in the cold light of day, didn't want to have it while driving etc. You're in a better position to judge your DH's motives than us!

Bloodshot eyes and a noticeable smell as soon as he got into the car indicates much more than half a cider!! I don't think you're ur DH did anything wrong TBH, if there were me I would prefer mine waited until they were home for it to be dealt with.

Yes, my DH has form for leaving all the "crappy" parenting decisions to me. I'm always the default parent when we are at home ie "MUM, what's for lunch?" "MUM, where's my pe kit?" etc etc and now I feel that I am having to parent when I'm not even in the situation!

myownprivate In his defence I get bloodshot eyes and stink of alcohol after ONE small glass of wine so maybe he takes after me

YouTheCat Like I said me and DS had a conversation about it (maybe 5 minutes?) hardly the Spanish Inquisition! I guess you must have/had teenagers as I've got friends with younger DC who are horrified that I even let him go to parties or have 1 drop of alcohol!

Bruce02I think it's because he wants me to do the "hard stuff" but he would say that isn't the case so I'm not sure.

YouTheCatI thought you had been through this as you can often guess how old peoples DC are from their responses to teenage drinking. I really hope my DC grow up with a sensible attitude to booze like yours have. Unfortunately there is a lot of alcoholism in our family so I find it hard to be balanced re booze