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Word of the Day: subreptitious

You probably noticed I sorta got behind again. You should giver yourself a gold star. I’m just glad I’m finishing this up now, and can go to bed soon.

Today’s Word:

subreptitious

As in:

Lawsuits were filled today naming the Farmer’s Wife in a civil suit over the maiming incident in which three blind mice lost their tails. The incident was the impetus for a number of episodes of racial violence between Rodent-Americans and Human-Americans, when the criminal courts failed to convict the woman of numerous counts of attempted homicide, hate-crimes and animal cruelty.

The mice, who are standing by their assertion that their blindness was a result of poisoning agents left out by the Farmer’s Wife, and not a result of aging or other degenerative diseases, as successfully argued by the defense in the original trial, have decided to take their complaints to civil courts, citing a hostile work environment leading to their multiple disabilities.

“That woman has had it out for my clients the minute they stepped into the house, and not just for them, but all of their kind,” said the attorney for the organization suing on the behalf of the mice. “The were simply trying to survive, scavenging for scraps, which she rarely provided, and attempting to make their lives better in the promised land of the farmhouse. For these poor, maimed mice, it has been little more than a house of horror.”

A spokesperson for the Farmer and his Wifewas quick to point out that they had “never hired” the mice and that their modest farm house could not be considered a workplace for the three plantiffs.

Questioned further about his “anti-Rodent” sentiment, the Farmer said: “These mice invaded *my* dwelling, they stole food, they soiled and damaged furniture and carpets, and they terrorised my wife at all hours. Rodents carry disease, and they are not welcome in our home. We have every right to defend our home from unwanted squatters, who have treated us and our home with little regard. They are the kind of house guests that will not only never leave, but blame you for having provided food that was unacceptably poor quality, right before they steal it, taking every morsel for themselves. We intend to file a counter-suit.

The attorney for the mice is confident that the mice will get a more fair hearing in front of a bi-special jury they can demand in a civil trial. “We’re fighting deeply ingrained Anti-Rodent bias on every side. No all-human jury would convict a human of wrong doing against any rodent. The imnity is too strong and goes back to the days before humans could write. Until rodents are acknowledged as having even the most basic rights, these injustices will continue. We must take a stand, here and now.”

Despite the outcry that much of the evidence in the trial was subreptitious, or manufactured by the defendant to put her in a better light, no charges were ever filed against any of the investigators in the case.

The trials have drawn national attention from other animal rights groups, who have indicated that this could spark more legal actions against humans who have exterminated insects, killed or evicted prarie dogs, squirrels and other “pests” from their property, or participated in the “barbaric hunting rituals” which end in animals killed for sport and trophies being displayed for the whole animal kingdom to feel intimidated and threatened.

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It’s hard out there for a rodent. And, I don’t feel a tad guilty. Is that so wrong?