It's 5PM on a Friday. I pour myself a glass of three-day-old white wine and wait for my wing woman to call. Her name Virtual dating assistants tinder Ally. She has a soothing voice and a gentle demeanor. She lives in Temecula, California, somewhere between Los Angeles and the hyper-conservative, bleach-blonde beaches of San Diego. Over the course of our near-two-hour phone call she will grill Virtual dating assistants tinder on everything from my favorite dishes to dating deal-breakers, from the time I was held at gunpoint in Mexico to my affinity for gin martinis.

This is the first time I've spoken with Ally and, aside from the small thumbnail in her Gmail account, I have little concept of who she Virtual dating assistants tinder or what she looks Virtual dating assistants tinder. By the time we hang up, though, she'll know more about me than many of my friends, family and co-workers do. Ally will then take what she's learned along with a zip file full of selfies and, with the help of a team of writers and Virtual dating assistants tinder, create a better, more desirable version of me.

The site promises to let users Virtual dating assistants tinder the endless swiping and messaging, and instantly fast-forward to a calendar that's jam-packed with attractive women looking for a good time with a great guy.

TinderDoneForYou is part of a growing industry of third-party apps and services that promise to take the work out of online dating. Today, you can outsource nearly every part of Virtual dating assistants tinder love life.

From finding the perfect mate to splitting assets after a divorce, our most intimate relationships have -- like much more mundane, less nuanced undertakings -- become a part of the on-demand economy. This is dating as a service. Peruse TinderDoneForYou or its precursor, Virtual Dating Assistants ViDAand you'll find the same sort of Virtual dating assistants tinder club self-help jargon that pervades the male-driven dating-advice industry.

Use one of these 7...

The sites' founder, Scott Valdez, Virtual dating assistants tinder a picture of his followers as wealthy, overworked young professionals who don't have the time or game to Virtual dating assistants tinder "high-quality" women. With the help of his team of data scientists, "wingwomen" aka project managers and ghostwriters, he promises immediate returns Virtual dating assistants tinder eventual long-term happiness with women way out of his users' league.

Virtual dating assistants tinder addition to profile-writing and photo selection, the team at TinderDoneForYou will do some light photo retouching, provide cut-and-paste conversation starters and responses and arrange dates around your schedule.

It will do just about everything short of open the door, pull out her chair and pay the Virtual dating assistants tinder for a monthly fee. The vast majority of on-demand dating services cater solely to men seeking women. Valdez says his clients skew 20 percent female with only one gay male and one lesbian client in his history running ViDA and its millennial spinoff.

Which, given the tenor of the service's marketing copy, stands to reason. TinderDoneForYou sells itself as a skeleton key for the emotionally lazy and socially inept that can open the door to any woman's heart in six easy steps. After a minute screening call, clients are ranked on a scale of one to 10 measuring their willingness Virtual dating assistants tinder commit.

He says the majority of his clients are looking for slim, fit or athletic women -- they also tend to prefer brunettes to blondes. Female clients, meanwhile, are more likely to list career, education and income as top priorities.

Being Virtual dating assistants tinder gay man who cares more for brains than bodies, I am, admittedly, not the typical TinderDoneForYou client. But Ally promised to do her best. One week after our conversation, I Virtual dating assistants tinder a handful of custom-made personas, catering to both straight women Virtual dating assistants tinder gay men and optimized for both OkCupid and Tinder.

TinderDoneForYou's top-rated headshots including one reject and sample profiles for comparison. Swipe left for "straight" profile samples. Swipe right to expose my real profile left and two "gay" profile samples center, right. The following week, Ally sent over a collection of five Virtual dating assistants tinder, one of which didn't make the cut even after a round of retouching and high marks from a panel of 12 female judges. In all, a team of nearly 20 people worked on my profile.

It's an absurd contradiction. Apps like Grindr, Tinder and OkCupid use algorithms to take the work out of matchmaking. Virtual dating assistants tinder, services like TinderDoneForYou put the work back in, relying on sizable teams and large sums of Virtual dating assistants tinder to find you a date.

The profiles Virtual dating assistants tinder created position me as a cocky, hard-drinking sex columnist who loves his dogs, gin martinis and Italian leather, all of which is true. But nearly every new version of me just wasn't me. TinderDoneForYou offered to work with me on my profile, but I passed.

I'm perfectly happy with the results I've received being my authentic self. If I'd been a paying customer, Ally and her matchmaking minions would then get to work, swiping right, sending canned responses that apparently "work like crack to get women addicted to messaging you," and setting up dates.

Valdez says the ultimate goal is to get his clients off the service and into committed relationships; a process that he estimates takes Virtual dating assistants tinder 12 dates in total. One week prior to meeting Ally, I was on a Skype call with Leslie Moniz, founder of Swagoo, a woman-run online dating consultancy. The similarities largely end there.

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Blog-style posts suggest getting her a box of portable wine vials, growing a beard and ditching your board shorts. Gone are the days of knee-grazing board shorts. European trends continue to Virtual dating assistants tinder fire on this side of the pond, and here at Swagoo, we're not complaining, and neither should you.

The tips are free but the services come at a cost. After a phone call that covers your likes, dislikes and dating pain-points, your Swagoo Girl -- experienced but not slutty, according to Moniz -- will select photos and create a bio that plays to a woman's Virtual dating assistants tinder desires as determined by Virtual dating assistants tinder market-research survey.

She'll then enlist an app like Bonfire that swipes right on any and all profiles, maximizing your potential matches; help you turn those matches into dates; and offer advice on where to go and what to Virtual dating assistants tinder. Again, Moniz recognized that I, a gay man with no desire to dress like a J.

Crew catalog model and even less desire to rush into an LTR, was not the right fit for the company's services. She did, however, agree to give my profile and photos the Swagoo treatment. Four days after our call, the new me Virtual dating assistants tinder arrived. The results were far less aggressive, but still just as unrepresentative as the profiles Valdez's team created for me.

A wordsmith who writes about tech and current trends of the hookup culture. My two roommates are my beloved pit bulls. Looking for a girl who appreciates the timeless things, a well-made martini easy on the vermouth and nights in the kitchen. I would never refer to myself as a wordsmith and I Virtual dating assistants tinder like vermouth in my martinis. The thing is, while all of these things save for the part about looking for a girl could be said about Virtual dating assistants tinder, they'd never be said by me.

Services like Swagoo and TinderDoneForYou treat Virtual dating assistants tinderVirtual dating assistants tinder products, commodifying style, humor and relatability at the expense of individuality. They attempt to take the best parts of you Virtual dating assistants tinder magnify them while sweeping the worst parts of you under the rug.

That's certainly nothing new, but coming from someone else, even someone seemingly kind and friendly, it just feels disingenuous. While both of these services Virtual dating assistants tinder all about image, photos are the real currency on Tinder.

And, yes, there are now Tinder photographers. I stopped short of having Tinder headshots taken, but I did Virtual dating assistants tinder a few emails with a Virtual dating assistants tinder York City photographer who does just that.

Charlie Grosso, an advertising veteran, is Virtual dating assistants tinder dating assistants tinder a writer, gallery director and owner of TinderPhotography. And those first impressions aren't cheap. She refers to the sessions as bespoke mini-narratives about her clients, who she says are Virtual dating assistants tinder interested in long-term results than just "getting laid.

What happens when all Virtual dating assistants tinder someone else's hard work pays Virtual dating assistants tinder The love-on-demand economy doesn't end at finding a mate. There Virtual dating assistants tinder even apps that will not only remind you to tell the person you love that you Virtual dating assistants tinder but provide canned text messages to do so.

Should you begin to feel hollow from a lack of genuine emotion or find that it's just not working out, the internet has you covered there too. The call was a stunt for a Motherboard articlebut the site's founders swore by Virtual dating assistants tinder validity and viability. Whether The Breakup Shop is legit or not, it underlines how impersonal, not to mention comical, all of these services can be. Taken individually, they're either a meet-cute Virtual dating assistants tinder point or a sad attempt at gaming human emotion, but combined they're a slop bucket of a rom-com meltdown not even Matthew McConaughey could overcome.

And that is where DivorceForce comes in. When all is said and done, when you've fully optimized the supply chain of love without lifting an emotional finger, the internet will attempt to fix it for you. The site's founder, Gregory Frank, describes it as a sort of one-stop shop for "anyone affected by divorce.

You know, it's got your content, it's got your activities, Virtual dating assistants tinder got your social aspect, and it's got a little bit of Tinder. While the message behind DivorceForce is significantly less superficial than that of other players in the love-on-demand economy, it's no less unsettling to hear complex human relationships boiled down to Silicon Valley-style demo-day comparisons.

As emotional beings, we like to think of our relationships as sacred, heartfelt and personal. When a third-party benefits from the success or failure of those bonds, it cheapens the experience.

On Tinder, exaggerated humor combined...

But is love any less valuable when an app or a team of "experts" facilitates it? Is a bond created over a fabricated profile any less real? Valdez acknowledges the gray area that services Virtual dating assistants tinder TinderDoneForYou occupy, but, he says, "this is online dating.

To be able to Virtual dating assistants tinder in front of the right people, and Virtual dating assistants tinder have a little extra help, I don't see how you could possibly say this is totally wrong. Tinder's Swipe Surge tells you when there's a rush of potential dates. Facebook Dating expands to Virtual dating assistants tinder and Thailand.

In November , I ran...

A semi-regular column exploring the weird Virtual dating assistants tinder of human sexuality in the 21st century. Swagoo's profile photo selections. More smiles, same dog. From around the web.

It's 5PM on a Friday. I let out myself a looking-glass of three-day-old snowy wine and be put on ice for my wing woman to notice. Her name is Ally. She has a soothing disclose and a humane demeanor. She lives in Temecula, California, somewhere between Los Angeles and the hyper-conservative, bleach-blonde beaches of San Diego. Over the polity of our near-two-hour phone call she will grill me on everything from my favorite dishes to dating deal-breakers, from the dead for now I was held at gunpoint in Mexico to my affinity for gin martinis.

This is the first set I've spoken with Ally and, aside from the mignonne thumbnail in her Gmail account, I have little concept of who she is or what she looks akin.

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Name: Luisa

Age: 19

Heigh: 5'.9"

Weight: 45 kg.

Drinker: Non-drinker

Sex position: Humiliation

Music: "There's Your Trouble - Dixie Chicks"

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Swipe left for "straight" profile samples. It seems as long as there are needy penises, there will be entrepreneurs looking to capitalize on them.

After a phone call that covers your likes, dislikes and dating pain-points, your Swagoo Girl -- experienced but not slutty, according to Moniz -- will select photos and create a bio that plays to a woman's true desires as determined by a market-research survey. Unfortunately, these ugly encounters are a necessary evil. With the help of his team of data scientists, "wingwomen" aka project managers and ghostwriters, he promises immediate returns and eventual long-term happiness with women way out of his users' league.

But it turns completed an metrical more dehumanizing prospect lurks on the dating app and others of its kind: The private, Valdez says, is numbers: The Quartz word slinger sums up her answer to his approach: As dating platforms enhance flooded with purposeful, enticing spam, men and women on these sites take course to emulate personalities that production quantifiable results.

That means playing impoverished individual traits and uncustomary views to the particular where a outright stranger—like me—could line for line do it in their categorize. Near worrisome to please to dozens, if not hundreds, of strangers at the like period, we forfeiture our capacity to run risks and investigation with common norms; no greater than placing correct bets robs us of modish and authentic experiences.

But playing the numbers is not explicit to ViDA and its competitors:

Others argue paying others to do your online dating is downright deceptive. These impersonators are charming, witty, and recognize how to consult em in. In fact, they at best get paid if they score phone numbers or dates. Tinder alone produces more than 12 million matches a day , and sifting through all those online profiles is tedious. While trying to discover one diamond in the rough, you waste time flirting with scam bots.

Beautiful girl with a bf always looks at me.what do?On Tinder, exaggerated humor combined with a cocky/funny attitude plays much better than it does on a dating site like studentloanshelp.info This style allows you to get. Blake Jamieson locked himself in his house, determined to crack the “Tinder See, Virtual Dating Assistants (or “ViDA” for short) is the first company to ever..

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