Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Ever since you were little, you were freaking pretty. Your parents f*cking forced you to become a kid model and every day, they would receive 99999 calls and messages. At that time, you were 3 months old.

When you went to elementary school, you posted pictures and they got shared 99999 times. You don’t even do anything but people are always asking you about beauty and makeup tips. At that time, you were 12 years old.

When you entered middle school, you started going on Facebook and as soon as you opened your account, you had countless friend requests. So many that you weren’t able to accept more friends and that the PR team from FB was like “this is a first” and even made an interview with you. Because of that, they had to remove the limit of your FB friends. At that time, you were 14.

The kids all were switching over to Instagram so you started doing Instagram too. Then, you became the one who had the most followers on Instagram in the world. Even Kim Kardashian DM’ed you to ask for a collab. But since you weren’t good at English, you weren’t able to reply her DMs for 7 months so Kim Kardashian flew herself to Korea and said in an interview “I want to meet this PANN-girl”. At that time, you were 15.

You were talking about a Webtoon that you liked on SNS and as a result, the Webtoon started to get exported all over the world, and movies and dramas adaptations were made. The PDs even offered you to be the lead character. At that time, you were 17.

You then started to have a bias, the first one ever. You liked his picture on Instagram and your bias was so thankful. Then randomly, he opened up a press conference and was bragging about how PANN-girl like his picture. His fans started making a fuss about who was more important between his fans and PANN-girl so he had to retire. At that time, you were 18.

You were #9 in the whole school but since you had a pretty face, you got a free pass to every university. It became super controversial but when people saw your face, they understood why. At that time, you were 19.

While you were an Instagram star, you became close with a celebrity so you became famous for being XXX-nim’s friend. You appeared on TV with XXX and everyone was saying how you were prettier than her. The celebrities on the show were all ashamed of their own looks and retired. At that time, you were 20.

There was a f*cking handsome foreign actor (so handsome, he’s considered a national asset) who came to Korea for a visit and saw you from 1KM away and fell in love with you. He then asked you out. But because you couldn’t leave the country, you had to reject him. That foreign actor then said that he was missing you and was lovesick on his Instagram. Since he kept flying here to see you, he kept paralyzing our airports. At that time, you were 20.5.

But then suddenly, your household started experiencing issues (you were originally not well off) and ended up with 1 trillion won worth of debt. But then, a close friend of yours said “we have to save this PANN-girl” so she opened up a fundraising event and people all around the world started donating. You then ended up with 7 trillion won. At that time, you were 21.

You were so pretty that the world was heating up because it was so emotional. And the temperature in our country was 45 degrees. At that time, you were 22.

Vs

You just stay the way you are now with air con opened, comfortable without any worries