Saturday, October 11, 2008

Are you dating the right person?

There are perks to using AOL, today's being 8 clues to determine that you're not dating the right person:

1. You're not happy. Though you'd better be sure it's not because of politics or having been wiped out in the stock market.

2. You don't feel good about yourself.

3. The people you trust urge you to get out. If you've gotten this advice from 20 (or 3) friends, they may be onto something.

4. You find yourself constantly thinking about someone else. Exceptions being if you're lusting after Brad Pitt or Penelope Cruz.

5. You find yourself denying facts you know to be true. Aside from, "He won't dump me for a younger woman," which can never be ruled out, if you're rationalizing and making excuses, you're a shtummy.

6. The cons of staying together outweigh the pros. AOL recommends compiling a list and weighing how the advantages stack up against the disadvantages. Just starting this confirms it's not the right person.

7. Your instincts are saying get out. These are, no doubt, the same instincts that got you in, so beware of trusting your inner voice (see item 5, a common dating hazard).

8. You already know the truth. Time can be the factor that pushes you one way or the other -- "Leaving now means all this time has been wasted" vs. "I'd better cut my losses." Take a life expectancy test and do the math.

The list stops short. I'd add:

9. There are addresses in your wallet of local battered women shelters.

10. He's running for office, my friend, and looks at you with disdain.

11. You know of more than one previous lover who was murdered.

12. The other person is still on Match.com or married.

12. This someone believes in conspiracy theory or Scientology.

13. He was caught on "Dateline."

14. He's 82, his house is called "the Playboy Mansion" and you're either of the 19-year-old blonde twins.