Most of the time, we encounter luxury fashion that's so fabulous it tempts us to reconsider how we feel about our kidneys. But not everything is so seductive. Certain items are like… wat da fuk. Sometimes that response has everything to do with pricing (I'm looking at you, $1,290 crystal-bedazzled stockings!), but other times… it's more like… who made the decision to bring this travesty to market?

But what do we know? We are hardly the target audience for certain upscale designer pieces. There's cat hair attached to everything we own, first of all. Also, the last time we went clubbing in Ibiza was never. We readily admit our own ignorance. And bow down to the superior taste levels of top luxury influencers.

Below, we've assembled five super-trendy items from luxury e-commerce site LuisaViaRoma. These products probably appeal to some people (????), but we won't be buying them anytime soon, thanks.

Vivette Iridescent Shorts, $322

If you love exposed pockets and don't have any sexual organs, these shorts are for you.

Saint Laurent Zipped Napa Leather Mini Skirt, $2890

If this skirt isn't flattering on a model, imagine how it'll look on someone who actually has a torso.