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MTV Video Music Awards: Give Me a Break!

Did you see Sunday night’s MTV VMA’s? Did your tween or teen watch it? What did you think?

Miley Cyrus put on a show that sells—sex. If you read my recent blog on teenage sexuality, you won’t wonder why your teen or tween is interested in sexual experimentation. The question arises—Is this appropriate? What is the impact of exposure to these images? Is this healthy or unhealthy? What is the message to kids? Rest assured, adults aren’t watching music videos. This medium is for kids.

Ironically, Miley was the former “Hannah Montana” star on the Disney channel--from teddy bears to sexy bears.

Interestingly, the relationship between exposure to sexual behavior in the media and adolescent sexual activity has not been definitively supported by research studies. What scientists have determined is that children are spending more time watching television and viewing media of all kinds and that there is an increasing quantity of sexual activity in the media. In the Journal Pediatrics (Vol 116, No. 1, July 2005) Michael Rich M.D. notes that the few studies that have been conducted indicate that “greater exposure to sexual content in media is associated with more permissive attitudes towards sexual activity, higher estimates of the sexual experience and activity of peers, and more and earlier sexual behavior among adolescents.” Clearly, there is a need for more research on this subject but, these results are ominous.

In the meantime, communities and parents need to think about what images they want their kids to view. In my opinion, just as our bodies are impacted by what we eat, our minds are influenced by what we see, watch, and view. It may be more subtle and hard to measure, but it is there.

As parents, we have to make the hard decisions about what we want our kids to watch. Teens and tweens will always push this limit and tell you—“All my friend’s parents let their kids watch—(fill in the blank).” Of course, that is rarely true. Kids are so influenced by peer pressure; they presume that adults are equally influenced.

In my view it is appropriate for parents to limit the amount of time that kids view media (TV, computer, internet, social media, etc) and what they watch. Parents can vote with their remotes. Advertisers will respond. When sex and violence stops selling—advertisers won’t subsidize content that we don’t want our children to view.

Comments

Submitted by pushing the limits on Tue, 08/27/2013 - 2:37pm

Thanks for commenting on this Dr. Paul. I think it is sad that kids who are raised in the spotlight feel like they have to keep pushing the barriers to be more shocking. And our culture just keeps on affirming and encouraging the behavior. It is hard to find the few good role models out there for tween girls, but one thing is for sure - they are not likely found on a stage.

I think the worst part about the whole thing is she looks like a little kid and she is still young at only 20. Her and Robin Thicke also send the message that it's ok for married (he's married) people to rub up against each other and act disgusting. I'm sure if your kids didn't watch it their friends did. Most kids have cell phones now and can easily look up a video on youtube. It's really unfortunate.

Submitted by Chris Beard on Tue, 08/27/2013 - 3:21pm

Her behavior is not surprising. Disney stars tend to do this in the modern era. Furthermore, the message she set on her show was that her dad was spineless and was derided by her constantly. I never let my kids watched the show. It would appear that Billy Ray truly was spineless. The blog last week dovetails with this nicely. American parents are too busy being the friends of their children and not the parent of their children. Life experience matters, wisdom should come with it. I don't care if my kids would like an Xbox, a smart phone, unfettered access to the internet, weekends with a friend I don't know or a later curfew. It may be tough to tell our kids no if they want to sleep with their friends, go to someone's house we don't know or go to a party; but that is our job as parents.

Submitted by Becky on Tue, 08/27/2013 - 4:06pm

I don't know why parents think MTV or any of the music channels are for kids at all. Have you seen any of their other programming? If you have kids, lock channels on your TV, be the parent and check things out! Do I think Miley's performance was too much, NO, because she is an adult on a cable channel that is truly for adults. I locked a lot of channels and told my kids we don't get those... :) I unlocked them when I thought they were old enough to watch them. The music video channels were not unlocked until they were over 18 recently and they have showed no interest at all in any of the music channels. The TV, newspaper, movies, radio, cell phones or video games are not babysitters or substitute parents. Parenting takes time and attention.

Submitted by TB on Wed, 08/28/2013 - 8:16am

I don't know who is doing this research which is so far failing to link increased exposure to sexual content in media with more permissive attitudes to sex, but I can tell just from talking to my 17 year old that standards have radically shifted in comparison to my generation. She tells me that it is "just standard" that dating teens have sex now. This was far from "standard" when I was in high school; sure, some teens were having sex, but the vast majority were not, and were certianly NOT expected, as a matter of course, to "hook up" with any person whose casual interest they made the mistake of reciprocating. How can the media not be complicit in this?

Also, a behavior doesn't become "okay" just because it is being viewed only by people above an arbitrary age cutoff. It may very well become legal by that standard, but this does nothing to exonerate it morally. This is not to deny that context has an influence on our judgement, which of course it does. However, behaviors also have intrinsic qualities, such as "noble", "beautiful", "trashy" or "vulgar" . That performance was frank pornography, and as such cannot rise above the lowest possible standard of vulgarity and trash.

Submitted by lindsey on Wed, 08/28/2013 - 8:41am

My teen girls did see the Miley Cyrus scene. I asked them what they thought. At 14 and 16 they both thought she doesn't care about herself or anyone else. They said they felt bad for Thicke as he seemed to look uncomfortable. Thought it was interesting to get that perspective. Cyrus is an adult, she doesn't owe any former Hannah Montana fan any kind of explanation. Surprised so many were critizing her for doing something so ,"anti Disney". Personally, I couldn't stand Hannah Montana and saw her as a mortgage payment for her Dad.

With that said- there is a fine line between rebellion and trashy, and she definetly went into the trashy dept. It's nothing new, and society loves a train wreck. I am sure she will become even more famous, which is ridiculous.

Im with Becky, lock your channels if you don't want your kids to see certian shows. They scream, cry, hate you but it's part of the job. I tell my kids no constantly. I take car keys, phones , whatever I can when rules or daily chores are not completed. I hear them mutter under their breath....I seem to survive. :)

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 08/28/2013 - 10:33am

What is happening to our morals?

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 08/28/2013 - 11:49am

All I have to say is that I am a grown adult with 2 kids and I was very uncomfortable watching that performance. I know she is trying to get away from being the disney star but there is so many other ways she can do that.

Submitted by Michael Chun on Wed, 08/28/2013 - 11:51am

I suppose I should thank Ms Cyrus, actually, in a way, but I won't. Her obnoxious obscene display, and the subsequent hype, led to a long discussion with my teenaged daughter about a variety of topics: attention seeking behavior, use of sexuality for attention, some people's need to be popular, role models, the music industry, etc. She provided a teachable moment. Since Ms Cyrus had no such intention, my daughter and I only plan to ignore her.

Submitted by Victoria on Wed, 08/28/2013 - 1:56pm

It didn't surprise me as one of her newest songs is all about "Molly" which as many know is one of the most popular drugs with young adults. This is a sad cry for help and has reached what I would think is what they were reaching for, everyone's attention. I think the main focus should be open dialogue with parents and kids. I have always had open communication with my children, and I as a parent feel this is major with the temptations our children are faced with these days. I also fault the tv station for allowing such a display. If it were the Super Bowl it would have been cut. I think we as productive, responsible adults need to remember that times have changed and we need to change with them. Open our eyes and realize that we need to talk and be there for our children, and stop letting them raise themselves.

Submitted by anonymous on Wed, 08/28/2013 - 4:37pm

My girls are in their 30's now, but when they were teenagers it was Madonna that I thought was such a rotten role model. I tried my best to not let them watch MTV and blocked it from our TV. But, they were still able to watch it at their friends house. 90210 was pretty sexy too and they were always sneaking to a tv to watch it when they were 12-13 yrs old. Now its everywhere and our kids can see anything they want on YouTube! I say to all the parents, just keep talking to them and be a good role model, they will remember hopefully and make good choices. It's funny, now I hear my kids saying that they will try and protect their kids just like I did....now that they are parents they do "get it!"

Submitted by Patty Nichols on Thu, 08/29/2013 - 9:43am

We did not watch but, as another person previously pointed out, her friends probaby did. Not to mention all of the media and air time it recieved after the fact. My 12 year old daughter was disgusted by what she did see - which wasn't even the worst of it. Luckily my daughter has her sights set high on persuing a successful career (today as a surgeon, tomorrow who knows - but I know she will succeed). I agree with Dr. Beard that we are their parents - not their friends. It is our job to teach them right from wrong and to grown them into RESPECTABLE adults. After seeing her performance (which I did YouTube after hearing all the hype) I am disgusted with her even more than I already was.