Man vs Dandelion

There are a number of rivals and adversaries in the world right now. Cardinals vs Cubs. Israel vs Iran. Republicans vs Democrats. But, one overlooked battle that many are involved in this time of year is Man versus Dandelion. This is my story.

I have spent the last two weekends in my yard trying to destroy the enemy using every weapon that city ordinances will allow and a few that may technically have violated a couple laws. Weed-B-Gone, special grass seed that only nuclear scientists fully understand....and fire. But, this is war.

People tell me that dandelions are pretty. And, don't even start trying to tell me how beneficial dandelions are to my health. Some touchy-feely folks have even made movies about how glorious these "flowers" are. These losers obviously have never taken care of a yard.

Have you ever found a way to successfully eliminate these eternal foes? If so, please let me know before it's too late. My wife has caught me searching the internet for an affordable cannon. That is the next anti-dandelion step I'm considering.