“American Idol” in 60 Seconds has fast become an MTV News institution, but it goes by so fast that it’s not always easy to catch every golden nugget. So, here we present to you a slightly altered script of Jim Cantiello’s bite-size recap of the week’s “Idol” high jinks, plus a joke or two that had to be cut for time!

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It was the final “Idol” performance show
, and all your favorite celebs showed up. Cameron Manheim was on Team Kris, Anthony Hopkins was on Team Lambert, and Suri Cruise was on Team Juice Box (because she’s 2 years old and shouldn’t be at a loud TV taping). [Jim shakes his head disapprovingly.]

It’s down to the final two, and for the second year in a row, Ryan Seacrest thinks he works for ESPN.

Seacrest: “Game on! Game on!!!”

That’s not fair, Ryan. Adam doesn’t speak sports.

Round one was a close one, with each of the singers doing covers of themselves. But Adam added a trench coat to “Mad World,” and Kris added a genius arrangement to “Ain’t No Sunshine.”

Kara DioGuardi: “You’re making it feel like you’re singing it to us.”

You wish.

Round two had the boys go pro-social. Kris turned “What’s Going On” into the cutest little protest song, but it was Adam’s “A Change Is Gonna Come” that was absolutely life-changing.

Adam sings: “I’m down on my knees!”

No comment.

And then there was the infamous “Idol” winner single, co-written by Kara. It’s gotta be good, right guys?

Adam sings: “With every step, you climb another mountain.”

Artistry my ass.

Seacrest: “Coming up, Kris Allen sings ‘No Boundaries’!”

Not again! But at least Kris realized how crappy the lyrics were and just stopped singing them.

[Kris mangles lyrics.]

Oh, Kris Allen. Poor thing didn’t stand a chance. He may have tried his hardest, but you just can’t top a top. [Wink.]