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Relationship Magic – Edythe Denkin

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Author Edythe Denkin, PhD. and certified marriage counselor, brings us “Relationship Magic,” a book that helps us define common problems in marriage and find their solutions through use of a fairy tale.

As we read the story, we meet Prince James and Princess Cinda. He was raised in a castle while she grew up as a regular maiden, and when they met and fell in love, they thought they’d found in each other the answer to all their emotional needs. His parents were distant, her father was absent, and by loving each other, they felt they would never feel alone again.

At the beginning of their marriage, they shared all their thoughts and feelings. James gave Cinda extravagant gifts to show his love, and because she grew up with very little, she accepted those gifts hungrily. As the years went by and children came into their lives, James and Cinda began to drift apart. He worries that she is overspending, she doesn’t know she’s overspending because he’s never said anything, and her anxiety that he will someday leave her, as her own father did her mother, causes her to act out emotionally and irrationally.

Satori, a wise sage who lives in the mountains, knows of their troubles and wants to help them, but he can only help as asked. When James and Cinda finally realize they must have outside assistance, Satori is there, acting as guide and mentor as the couple works through their emotional issues, most of which don’t stem from the marriage at all but from things that happened before they even met.

This book takes an interesting approach to the traditional self-help book on marriage. We see the process as it happens to someone else, in a fairy tale land where anything is possible. However, we can relate to the characters and bring their situations home to us, recognizing that like Cinda, we fear abandonment or like James, we need emotional connection.

The dialogue between the characters is a little stiff, but important truths are taught through this fable and I think it’s well worth your time, if you want to reinsert some magic into your own relationship.