Wait, wait, either you're making some pun, or you're saying that a hat is a boring subject to write about. I'm guessing that you're making some sort of joke, because I find hats fascinating.

If all else fails, totally make up stuff. I do it all the time. I'm incredibly good at not researching something and sounding like I know a whole lot about it, because after writing hundreds of essays, I know a few rhetoric tricks that work almost every single time.

Unfortunately, the purpose of this paper is to determine how well we can document sources, so that's not going to fly. The subject is, "Can money buy happiness?" and it is awful.

The hat thing is an old timey BZP joke when... who was it? Was it Roa? left the E off of "hate" and for some reason it was funny.

You're supposed to find sources for a question as vague, subjective, and profound as "Can money buy happiness?" I sympathize with you, Bunda, that's a terrible assignment.

The only thing I can suggest is to find some fiction books you like that have morals related to the subject and use those as sources. Great Expectations is one I know a lot of people read during high school, and there are probably countless others. Also consider referring to movies, theatre, and songs, if you can think of any examples related to the topic.

Let me tell you that you already seem to be doing better than I would be on that assignment, since your main concern seems to be that it's boring. I'd be terrified to even attempt the assignment lest I discover myself to be a shallow, materialistic hack, or worse, a corporate pawn, finding my only happiness in things like toys rather than in good deeds, creative expression, social interaction with other people, and other things that actually matter. As you can probably tell, I'm quite messed up in the head and my anxieties are putting me through quite the ordeal this semester.

Currently I'm supposed to be working on a test for a class about toys: four pages of essay questions that ask me to think about things a lot more deeply than I'm comfortable with. Any essay that makes you question yourself deeply, whether it's the professor's intent or not, is the worst kind of essay you can have, unless you're skilled in picking out answers that you can live with and commit to.

You have to use sources from the school's database, so it's mostly boring studies with obvious conclusions, like "if you're crazy-times poor you will be unhappy but after making 75k a year happiness is no longer tied to income."

It's stretching that into three pages that's killing me. There's so little to say.