(My boyfriend and I met in college, and have been together for six months. However, we’re currently on summer break and about a thousand miles away from each other. He’s studying physics and I’m studying theatre.)

Me: “We should get those long distance pillow things.”

Boyfriend: “I don’t know, those are a little weird. I’d feel weird having a robot hug me, or just listening to a pillow’s heartbeat.”

Me: “Yeah, I guess I can understand that.”

Boyfriend: “It’s all right. I’m an oscillating dipole and I’m bombarding you with love rays!”

Me: “Thanks, I think? You do know I’m an arts student who only took basic levels of high school physics, right?”