64

43

62.9

67.7

67.0

.611

.630

38.0%

61.4%

99.4%

0.0%

0.4%

The accumulation of G's on Tyler Skaggs' jersey caused forearm tightness and he had to leave the game. One G is enough, America.

2

48

61

47.1

47.3

47.2

.435

.415

0.0%

0.2%

0.2%

0.1%

0.0%

The Diamondbacks are one of those posters at the mall that become a 3D picture of a boat if you stare at it long enough, except when you stare at this one it becomes a bunch of small disassociated color splotches.

3

58

51

56.9

55.5

55.1

.517

.497

22.7%

28.3%

50.9%

0.6%

0.4%

The Braves would have done something but they got caught up with Sharknado 2 and were too afraid to cross the carpet to pick up a phone.

.458

.439

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

54

54

55.3

53.3

53.6

.501

.481

5.2%

13.2%

18.4%

3.1%

-2.6%

Reports: The Reds tried to take Billy Hamilton out of the game to trade him but they couldn’t catch him.

9

53

55

54.4

54.5

54.5

.501

.521

4.8%

4.7%

9.6%

-2.7%

-9.8%

The worst part of the Justin Masterson trade is now people in St. Louis movie theaters are going to have to be careful. Justin Masterson is tall.

10

44

64

49.2

50.2

48.4

.441

.421

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

0.0%

Someone high up on a mountaintop somewhere knows what the Rockies are doing but he’s almost certainly suffering from altitude sickness.

11

58

47

56.5

57.7

56.9

.545

.565

83.9%

3.4%

87.3%

-3.1%

-7.6%

The Price is right! Ha ha… a huh huh… huh… huh… oooo…

12

44

65

43.9

44.0

46.8

.410

.429

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Hard to believe the Astros traded Jarred Cosart and broke up the 2017 World Championship pitching staff before they’d even got together.

13

55

52

53.7

48.6

50.0

.484

.504

9.4%

7.1%

16.5%

3.4%

2.6%

The Royals are all in, y’all! Fear the powder blue!

14

62

47

61.4

63.4

61.7

.570

.550

85.6%

12.3%

98.0%

0.7%

13.3%

The Dodgers failed to get David Price or Jon Lester but they did keep Vin Scully and you tell me who is more important.

15

53

55

51.8

50.8

50.5

.477

.457

1.2%

3.0%

4.1%

-0.7%

3.1%

Another year, another deadline, another missed opportunity to trade Giancarlo Stanton to your favorite team for a bunch of nobodies.

16

60

49

57.7

56.7

56.1

.529

.509

36.0%

29.6%

65.6%

-1.5%

-5.1%

The Brewers' janitorial staff picked the wrong day to steal every phone in the team’s offices and hide them in the toilet.

17

48

59

48.6

49.4

49.2

.456

.476

0.2%

0.0%

0.2%

-0.2%

-0.2%

Extending Kurt Suzuki is like buying a Suzuki and naming it Kurt. It’s a fine idea and quite cute, but it’ll probably break down soon and all your money will be gone.

18

55

52

50.2

49.6

50.4

.479

.499

8.6%

9.9%

18.4%

1.0%

-13.8%

Brian Cashman revealed that a quick and easy "what about Drew” text message to Ben Cheringon precipitated the Yankees easy acquisition of Stephen Drew. This prompted a flurry of texts from Cashman to everyone he knows asking “what about your money.”

19

52

56

55.6

52.9

52.3

.493

.473

1.4%

2.5%

3.9%

-0.6%

1.4%

By not trading Bartolo Colon the Mets are signaling they can compete next season. Or it signals they like hilarious pitcher at-bats.

20

66

41

70.7

68.7

68.0

.639

.657

61.9%

38.0%

99.9%

0.1%

0.0%

Billy Beane was dismayed to learn that with the trade deadline over he wouldn’t be able to add another ace pitcher next week. “What?” he thundered. “Whose dumb idea was a deadline?”

21

48

61

47.7

48.1

48.9

.442

.422

0.0%

0.1%

0.2%

0.0%

0.1%

Not one trade. Maybe they had a glitch and had to turn their commodore 64s on and off.

22

57

51

54.0

56.0

56.9

.518

.498

19.8%

26.6%

46.4%

-5.4%

3.4%

The Pirates tried to trade for Pedro Alvarez’s swing but Altoona wouldn’t budge off a final offer of six hot dogs and two large slushees.

23

48

60

49.8

45.6

45.8

.438

.418

0.0%

0.2%

0.2%

-0.1%

0.0%

The trade deadline went down and the Padres still don’t have a GM. But that’s probably not that important.

24

56

52

60.5

60.0

59.4

.546

.566

0.1%

23.0%

23.0%

1.8%

-3.7%

Austin Jackson is better than the hamsters in roller balls the Mariners have been starting in center field and that’s all that matters.