learning no

03-06-2009, 08:56 AM

My 12 month old is determined to turn the television channels on the tv. she walks up to them and just starts flicking the channels. For the last week i've been saying "no touch, mommies." or just "No touch" sometimes loudly, sometimes more softly. I often get up and change the channel back to 3 and redirect her to a toy away from the tv. however it unfortunatly is turning into a game. I say "No touch!" start to get up and redirect her and fix the television, and she starts giggling and trying to hit the televisions buttons faster until i get to her. I"m unsure of how to deal with this differently. this is how i handled the CO2 detector pluged in the wall and (knock on wood) she hasn't bothered with it. I've even tried piling her toys infront of the telivision to slow her down. My mum suggested giving her a slap on the hand but i don't want to do that. Any suggestions on how i can get her to stop changing the channels?

I would usually make a sad face to my kids, and make a sad face and say something like 'oh, mommy is sad now!' And try to get them interested in something else. With mine it seemed to be a game, and like they wanted me to have a reaction be it positive or negative. When my DS did this DD would cry (she was older) and I would tell her to just give it a little time and ignore what he did and more often than not if we ignored the behavior he would move on to something else, especially if I pulled something else out that was more interesting to him. Or I just took the hint that he wanted attention and turned the tv off!! I am definately not a hand slapper. My friend bought a guard that goes over the bottom of the tv that does not allow them to be able to touch the buttons!!

Comment

I would go for the TV guard as well. Many kids at that age have a VERY strong "curiosity/learning drive" and may not be able to stop themselves from doing the behaviour. Or, may take a very long time to learn not to do something. These games, after all, are an important part of they're development.

I think one of the tricky parts of this whole scenario is that some kids ARE able to learn to not touch. You may have to endure stories of how some other child was able to be taught "proper behaviour". (Speaking as a mom who has been there ) And how if you only did "x" you're child would not touch things either.

Comment

we went for the $10 tv guard, too! it's not worth the headache. another option would be just to let her play w/the buttons and she'll eventually get bored w/it. try to see it from the toddler's point-of-view. they ARE trying to play games! life is all about fun to them, experimenting, cause-and-effect, it's one big happy world. we could all take a little advice from toddlers! in our house, we try to save "no" for absolute life-threatening situations, child-proof the rest, and let them explore in between.

hitting a child is never the answer. it's disrespectful. it may cause them to fear you. it may cause them to start hitting others. it will certainly damage your relationship.

Comment

Do your self a favor and either move the TV to a higher surface or get a guard. You might even try putting a piece of duct tape over the button or something. There is no way to really force your will on hers if she is still able to reach it! Receptively asking her not to touch it and distracting her are short term solutions while visiting someone.

My mum suggested giving her a slap on the hand but i don't want to do that.

This would suggest to a child that if you don't like what someone is doing you hit them? That is certainly not a good lesson.
Would you leave a china vase on a low table for a child look at but not expect them to touch it? How often would you expect distraction and reminders to keep an impulsive and inquisitive child from touching something?
Create a Yes environment by altering it so you don't feel a need to constantly say no
Creating a Yes Environment

My 16 mo year old just figured out how to turn our TV on and off, just a few days ago. Usually he will play with it a few minutes and get board (while I take that as a cue to put something away or do any number of needed things I have been procrastinating on!) He will do it every now and then and I hope it will lose its appeal totally soon!

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I put my FIRM step to block off the TV in my living room, and in the den I have my workout bench in front of it. It really helps when I have friends over and five kids are trying to touch it. I am more worried that my son is going to rock it enough to knock it on him because he likes to bang the glass with his hands (I rarely ever turn the TV on when the kids are around).

As for the "no" issue, I've been doing the baby sign for "no" when I tell him not to do something (I save it for important things like when he plays with plugs and cords). I'll say whatever it is I want to say, do the sign, and then redirect. He seems to understand it and is more mindful of me when I use the sign (just don't overuse it). I think he doesn't understand the words as much as he understands the sign.

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We assumed that she wanted to play and explore, and thought the TV was as good a place to do it as any. So, if she wanted to change channels, we would let her. And on the rare occasion where it was important to us to be able to watch something without interruptions, we'd just ask her to leave it. And she usually did. No big deal, just trying to meet everyone's needs, with a focus on hers since she's too little to argue for herself or control much of what happens.

Comment

This is one of the reasons I just love Tivo! We just don't have the tv on much. When Sam was this age, he just LOVED buttons and if there was one he wanted to press, there was no stopping him. I honestly don't think he really knew what the tv was then, but it had buttons that did stuff! We had plenty of button toys for him and didn't make the tv seem any more or less interesting than the other toys. We watched our shows when he went to bed or to Grandmas.

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thanks for all the great ideas! i looked on amizon to see how much a t.v. gaurd would cost when i came accross a post saying that a clear photo frame would do the same thing. so we went to the dollar store and bought one of theose 8 x 10 clear photo frames. slipped it under the t.v.. and ohh heaven! i can fianlly turn on ellen and watch her without her changing the stations. She's almost even started to ignore the t.v all together. THANKS EVERYONE!!!!!!