There was an ad in the subway today for the latest exhibit at the Museum of Sex, entitled Hard Core: A Century and a Half of Obscene Imagery.

It’s not that difficult for me to imagine that such pictures exist, especially at this particular venue. But for the museum itself to use the word obscene to describe the art it displays seems like an argument against its own credibility.

“We took the ferry to the Statute of Liberty, and now we have to meet our daughter up at 96th and Broadway, so we’re taking the train up there. Hopefully we are on the right train — is this the right train?”

“We’ve found our way around the city pretty well so far…at least, I think we have.”

None of these comments are that remarkable…typical tourist conversation on the subway.

What is remarkable was this lady’s projection. I was all the way at the other end of the subway car, and it was like she was standing right in front of me.

The person she was talking to? Never caught a syllable.

One thing’s for sure — she will ever get lost in the city. Her family will be able to hear her coming and going.

My apologies to Emma Stone, but she looked much like this the entire ride.Her expression didn’t change. She looked around. She read her paper. She searched for gum in her purse. All the while — resting stink face.

I found myself sniffing the air, trying to find the source of her disgust, but could find nothing more than the usual subway aromas.

Have you ever been riding the subway, spied the emergency brake and had a passing urge to pull it and see what happened?

I think we all have.

But then we stop and consider the resulting delays and fines and possible imprisonment, and we don’t.

‘Cause we smarter than that.

But not the joker on my train tonight.

No, he decided to give that ol’ brake a pull. So, now we all know what happens.

First, it definitely stops the train. And apparently the conductors can’t tell where on the train the brake was pulled. So, they have to walk down the line, car by car, and see where the incident occurred. Which takes a long, long time.

Eventually, they opened a single door and let people file out of the train…so I was able to jump on another subway line and get home.