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When your dish has a word or phrase in quotes, you are probably being a heretic. This act can be forgivable when performed artfully. When the name of your dish has more quotes that words, you are being sacrilegious. Fortunately for me, I don't work in a kitchen, and like ten people read my blog.

For those ten that do, I bring you a special treat. An actual recipe. Not just a recipe but a photo of some food I actually made. I usually veer away from this being a cooking blog because I don't think all that highly of myself as a cook or as a photographer. And really, who needs another dipshit on the internet writing recipes.

But hey, it's 4th of july. And I was inspired by someone on twitter who twoted:

I thought this was clever and figured I could embiggen the cleverness by subbing out rice for potato. I used my fingers' mortal enemy, the mandoline, to thinly slice the potatoes. Then I cut the slices down into rice-ish sized pieces of potato. I think potatoes release starch better than traditional risotto rices and also has a shorter cooking time.

And, really, what's more American than the loaded baked potato. Simple carbs? Lots of fat? Minimal use of nutritional vegetables?

Happy Independence day, 'Merica.

"Loaded" "Risotto"

"Loaded" "Risotto" - Recipe

2 Scallions, white and green parts separated and sliced

1-2 Cloves Garlic, finely chopped

Bacon (Or baco bits to keep it veg)

1/2 Russett Potato, cut into rice sized pieces

1.5 TBS Olive Oil

1 TBS Butter

1/2 Cup Extra Sharp Cheddar, Shredded

3/4 cup Brocoli Florets

Roast the brocoli in the oven. I used 350ºF for ~20 minutes.

Heat chicken stock or water in a separate small saucepan.

Combine butter and olive oil in skillet over medium heat.

When butter and olive oil come up to temp, add white parts of scallion along with garlic and bacon. Let this cook until the garlic is starting to brown.

Add potatoes and stir quickly but gently. They will absorb the fat pretty quickly.

Add a ladelful of stock/water to the pan and continue to stir slowly, letting the liquid reduce and the starches release from the potato.