Teen Beat

Like most of America last night, I tuned into the MTV Video Music Awards. Just uttering the acronym “VMA” transports me back to high school where my girlfriends and I would hold countdowns, host viewing parties, fuel up on Surge, and eat some serious junk food, all while wearing our best boy-band apparel (cough, N*Sync…). Back then, we knew 99% of the celebs in attendance, when they were born, their favorite color, and “the last time they cried” thanks to publications like Teen Beat Magazine (okay, so it sounds creepy, but in this Twitter-driven age I can tell you what people are having for lunch, where they are eating, and whether they enjoyed it… doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?)

What I’m trying to say is that the 14 year old me is very different from the me that watched it last night. After only making it through the first hour – in part because I was sufficiently disturbed and part exhausted – I can unequivocally say that I. am. old. Where are the boy bands? the frosted tips? the denim tuxedos? Not only am I borderline lost with who some of these people are, I felt kind of violated by former Disney star, Miley Cyrus. That girl just booked a one way ticket to Bynes-Spears-Lohan-ville – a lovely little town between “No One Gets Me” and “I’m Fine, I Swear.”

Nothing to see here y’all, just grindin’ and twerkin’ with my foam finger.

It’s safe to say that the reaction of the Smith family was mutual…

Moving on to perhaps the most glorious, and highly anticipated moment of national television: a (110 second) N*Sync reunion. After Miley brought us to hell and back with her performance, the clouds parted as JT took the stage and single handedly restored our faith in entertainment. For a minute, I thought I was watching the 20/20 Tour and everyone else were just fans and bizarre opening acts. The “President of Pop” (as dubbed by one of my best friends) brought me home, so to speak. He metaphorically built a bridge to my teeny-bopper past and I ran over it, put butterfly clips in my hair, and stayed there for a solid 15 minutes squealing with pure bliss. Thanks, JT and Co.

Magic.

One more thing – Taylor Swift. Girl, you rocked it. Could she have been more stunning last night? The answer is a huge no. She captured old Hollywood glamour perfectly from shiny finger curls a la Marilyn, to that amazing navy blue Herve Leger by Max Azria gown, to her signature bright red, sassy lip.

Exquisite!

Honorable mention goes to Allison Williams of Girls and The Mindy Project. She looked beautious in a creamy-white Valentino mini. Her makeup was flawless and I loved how she swept her hair back to showcase that pretty face. Fun fact: she also went to Yale – smart is sexy, right? Ashton Kutcher would be proud.