NewportPatch – A Newport woman was charged with driving under the influence after she allegedly got into an accident with two other vehicles early Tuesday morning. No injuries were reported.

Around 1:55 a.m. police were dispatched to Carey Street for a report of an accident and found 30 year-old Heather Gardner, of 27 Vaughan Avenue, in the drivers seat of a Jeep Wrangler that had significant damage to the front, said police. When police asked if she was injured she allegedly responded “You have to understand, I just want to cuddle.” She also stated that she was okay, but she was “in a place that she shouldn’t be,” said police.

Police reported her eyes were bloodshot and watery and she smelled of alcohol.

This story just made my day. A woman’s love to cuddle has no boundaries and no limits, remember that gentlemen. If they want to lay next to you and then some so bad they will find a way to get you.

The classic line of this has to be “I don’t drink and drive often, otherwise…I’d be good at it.” I am sorry but this is way too good of a line to be thought of my someone drunk, sounds like a classic cop line that they stuck in the report to make it that much better. (A note from our attorney, this is a playful and joking accusation).

Luckily, no one was seriously hurt in this accident.

Sidenote – I wonder how angry the lazy man that wanted to cuddle was that she didn’t come through.