Marcy S., age 47, North Carolina

October 22, 1971location: North CarolinaAge at Writing: 47

I’m down again, burdened with many anxieties and regrets. And I can’t seem to let go of them and trust the Holy Spirit. I’ve tried to for several days — I’ve awakened in the night and made a conscious effort fo “cast my burdens upon the Lord.” And before I got out of bed this morning I mentally reviewed all my anxieties, etc. and asked the Lord to take them. I even thanked Him for taking them — but I’m still holding on!

So it’s not a matter of trying — when He does free me (and He has many times) it’s not the result of my efforts. There’s a big difference between trying to do something and just doing it (e.g. relaxing). The great effort destroys the ability to wait quietly for trust to come. I need to trust, I want to trust. I’ve asked for this gift, I’ve thanked Him for it. Now I must just wait for the Holy Spirit to do His work within me — and there may be barriers that need breaking down which I’m not even aware of.