Holy Neti! Ancient device is magical cold cure

Sunday

Oct 9, 2011 at 3:15 AM

I was in an unlikely position last week — horizontal. I was so sick I took to my bed. It's rare for me to have even the slightest sniffle, even at the relatively decrepit old age of 58. I come from a long line of short, hardy trolls who lived to be very old and very cantankerous. I'm certain my ancestors breezed through invasions, wars, plagues and famines just by being difficult. That, I believe, is the key to my genetic superiority when it comes to slaying germs and staying healthy.

But, my luck ran out when I was stricken by what I call a 25-year cold. I only get a severe cold once every quarter of a century, but when it hits, I am a whimpering mess.

The cold had been making the rounds at my house since the end of August.

Jeff, 12, got it first. He ended up staying overnight in the hospital with an earache so painful he threw up. But Jeff rallied and was actually in great shape after just a couple of days.

Jarid, 10, got it next. First he was irritable, and then he was up all night vomiting. For at least a full week, he couldn't breathe out of one of his nostrils and it was frequently rimmed by a bit of dried blood.

"Do you know how irritating that is when one side is all blocked up?" he whined.

Jenn, 17, and Jacob, 16, were the next victims. They were down for the count for a few days, but it wasn't too bad. Besides, they are teenagers and the idea of spending time at home in bed is about as appealing as solitary confinement in a medieval dungeon.

My husband, Dan, was infected, too — ending up with severe chills and body aches that put him in bed for a day.

With industrial-strength germ-fighting genes in my lineage, I thought I had escaped as usual, but this one grabbed hold of me. It was so bad I did the unthinkable and went to the doctors.

I knew I was going to get a lecture about taking better care of myself and getting necessary medical tests. They hadn't seen me in three years.

My nurse practitioner told me I looked terrible — sick and exhausted — and wanted me to stay home from work for two whole days. She prescribed an antibiotic for my clogged sinuses and told me to get two different types of nose sprays and over-the-counter cold and flu medicine.

I felt so awful I actually listened. I tried to rest, but couldn't because my nose was so blocked. I walked around my living room all day. If I kept moving, I reasoned, maybe I could unclog my nose and stop the pounding in my poor head. It didn't work. I did not sleep more than five minutes all night.

By Day 2 I was desperate, so I decided to try something radical. Dan had the idea I should use a Neti pot. My nurse practitioner had recommended it, too, but it sounded too much like torture, so I didn't take the suggestion seriously.

For the uninitiated, a Neti pot is an ancient device used for thousands of years. It looks like a teapot, but is basically a container made out of a soft, pliable material. You fill it with warm salted water, tip your head up and squeeze the pot as hard as you can so that the jet of water squirts up your nose and into your sinuses. For all I know it probably travels clear up to the brain!

On the first try, it honestly felt as if I were drowning. The water gushed into my throat and I thought I would choke to death. Some of the water also poured out of the opposite nostril, which I found quite disgusting.

I was skeptical that it had done me any good at all, so I stopped, not that I had a choice anyway. My nasal passages were clogged up after the treatment and I was coughing uncontrollably. But a few minutes later to my amazement, I could actually breathe through my nostrils. Greedy for the cure, I repeated the Neti and did it several more times throughout the day whenever I got stuffy.

The next day I was back at work. I used the Neti on my lunch break and felt ever so much better.

I am now on the mend and several good things have come from it.

Firstly, I am a Neti convert and I want everyone to try it. Despite the fact that it is a lot like water boarding, the Neti is far better than those chemical nose sprays that tease you by clearing your sinuses for 15 minutes before they close up again, never to reopen.

And, secondly, my nurse practitioner has convinced me to come back and get a real physical. She was right. I look terrible and I am exhausted. I have a big family and a lot of responsibilities. I need to take better care of myself.

Even invincible folks like me, with a long lineage of hardy trolls, need to get regular medical checkups and put their feet up once in awhile.

And, though I have a new weapon in the Neti, I hope my next cold holds off for another 25 years.

Mary Pat Rowland is the managing editor of Foster's. Her e-mail address is mprowland@fosters.com.