Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of toddlers (1 to 3 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.

WHY DOES SHE HATE HIM????

Hey everyone- as some might know i have my 13 year old stepson with us from PA for 5 weeks- when he got here we were pleased that our 18 month old daughter seemed to like him, she let him hold her and tickle her,..well we are just into week 2 and that is OVER.
If he goes to pick her up at anytime she screams bloody murder to be put down,.wheh he goes to give her a kiss she swats him away..i think he is old enough to understand when we try to just tell him that she might be jealous, or something- but still, he loves her alot and wants to be with her,..now, a few times he got too rough, because he is never around children, so the way a young boy toddler might like to play is not the way she wants to be played with,..
So, i am just asking for any input- is it jealousy that some other presence is in the house talking and interacting with mommy and daddy?
I was looking forward to using him as a babysitter while i do things outside the house but the second i leave her alone with him, she shakes the windows with her screaming. I am not at all worried that he would or did anything innapropriate to her. (just for the record)..any ideas or other similar stories?
thanks so much, im not on the computer alot these days but i'll try to check in daily..;-)

yeah- today she played with him on the swings- but won't let him pick her up- so i just let him know that being held to a youngster is a really personal thing- it's their first &quot;safe&quot; place,..he seems to understand,..she gets really mad when he tries to be down on the ground kind of wrestling;/tickling her and so i told him, that is a sign she is not comfortable and if she could- would be saying &quot;get the heck off me you jerk!&quot; right?

I think your right beanfields. I think it is so important to respect our little ones space. We have to intrude on it so much with bathing, clothing, giving medicine, cleaning out the nose, that when we can give them their space it shows them respect. The other thing in our society, especially for little girls, I think we need to teach them at a young age that their body is their personal space and it's okay not to give hugs, kisses, when they do not want to and that it is okay to tell others they do not like being touched that way (it what ever way she wants to communicate that). When she is older she will need that comfort and empowerment of being able to tell others, &quot;Back off,&quot; especially the boys, if you know what I mean. Good luck and have a great summer.

I think it may be just what you are thinking that he is invading her space....My 13 month old can't stand for my 4 yr old to get in her face...she screams and smacks at her. She was ok with it at first but she just doesn't like her to be in her face now. I think as they get older they want their space and independance. Also it could be that she is going through a phase of I want mommy which is a little of what my little one is doing also. She won't let anyone hold her much at all but mommy she won't even allow daddy to hold her very often. Just try allowing her space and tell him to maybe play with some toys and allow her to come to him and see if that might work...that seems to work a bit with my little one. Good luck to you ~Angela

Oh you are all such good friends- i watch and now i see it is a space thing- i will explain that to him- i mean, as an adult we hate &quot;close talkers&quot;,..so she doesn't want a face in hers, right? yup,..god bless you all for taking the time to be friendly and helpful,..you rock!!

I dont think It is jealousy. If she was jealous she would come to you for more attention. Not be mad at him at her age. Could it be HE is Jealous? Kids can pick up on things very young in age. I agree with these post as far as if she is throwing a fit that bad. I would not leave her with him. For some reason she is feeling this way no matter what it is. I have a 3 year old and when he was around her age. I took him to church. We put him in daycare there. He was fine. Then when there was this one person in there he would go CRAZY screaming and crying!!!! When I noticed he was fine, but around that person he wasn't! I STOPED putting him in there with that person. I also had a issue with my nephew. That is why I asked if HE was jealous. My son was 4 months old and My nephew came to live with us. His mother left him. When I would leave the room my son would SCREAM. So one day I went outside when they were alone and LOOKED IN THE WINDOW! To my surprise he was being mean to him. I NEVER thought this could happen, but kids will be kids. Not saying this is happening to you, but maybe a sneak peek would help you understand why she is acting this way.

This happened between my 2 sons (They are 5 yrs apart). I went into the kitchen and asked for voluteers to make cookies. They both came running and by the time we were done...they were laughing and giggling while licking the bowls, etc and they got along great sense. Maybe they just need something to bring them together. Good Luck!

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