This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting teens (age 12-17), including physical, emotional, and cognitive development, handling peer pressure, activities & sports, choosing a college, and relationships.

The other night my 15 year step-daughter went up stairs and came back down with a horrified look on her face and told me she thinks she just walked in on something. When I asked her what she said her brother (13 yr old step-son)and his friend (15) were under the blankets. I asked well, what do you think you walked in on and she said I don't know they just came out from under the blankets and it was weird. I'm not sure if there was more to it but her face and her voice seemed nervous and she wouldn't elaborate and I did not want to push it. She ended up saying I don't know what they were doing maybe they are up to something. Should I say anything to their dad or should I keep quiet? I don't know if it's even something to worry about but my step-son seems pretty innocent for 13 and I really don't know this 15 year old boy that well at all. What if there is more to it?

I think i'd try to find out all info you can on this 15 yr old. You wouldn't want this to be a situation where your step son is being coerced into doing something and feels threatened if he says anything. I'd hate for it to turn into a situation where he's being abused and you turned your cheek. Hopefully it was nothing, but for his safety, i wouldn't just let it be swept under the rug.

i dont have a teen, just a 13 y/o sis.....and strangely, what the girl above said is pretty good....rather than acting like you may not trust him, broach the subject in a broad spectrum.....and wannabe is right also.....

with my sister, my mom will scream until she thinks my sister told her something "right"....with me, i just talk in general, and i get answers 1st shot.....

Dont leave him alone with the 15 year old this is still child Molestation, and you should address it and talk to your Step-Son about it , if you dont address it he will feel its okay and it isnt okay behavior, dont let this Boy in your house again.

Coincidence or not, behavior like that should not be taken lightly. Teens at that age are very curious and could have a background of having been exposed to sexual activities or objects. Never be certain or rule out the possibility that something inappropriate wasn't going on.

I would for sure find out what is going on. The 13 year old may look up to the 15 year old and feel pressured into doing something he will have to deal with for the rest of his life and possibly regret. My ex boyfriend had something happen to him when he was 14 and it still bothers him to this day.

Oh my gosh, why are people so paranoid? If they boy feels comfortable doing things with another boy, that's PERFECTLY fine. It's his preference. If you do what these other folks are telling you to do, such as "not letting the 15 year old in your home anymore" than you are greatly lowering your relationship with your son. Ask questions, ask if he was pressured, ask if he is okay doing these types of things. I can't believe someone would tell you to ban the kid from your household. That sounds like a bit of homophobia, if you ask me. Disregard what these folks say, and do what is RIGHT. This type of behavior is nothing to get worked up about, and if you DO get too worked up, you are proving yourself to be homophobic, which is wrong. I'm not advicing you to ignore it, just ask questions and be there for him, THROUGH WHATEVER HE DECIDES IN HIS LIFE.

To all of the other folks on this thread: being gay or bisexual is natural, and beautiful. If you think anything less of the person, then your a disgrace.

by the way, FIFTEEN year olds that do sexual activites with THIRTEEN year olds IS NOT child molestation. That is complete ****, and shame on the person that wrote such garbage. again, sounds like a case of homophobia, if thats the case, seek counseling, not for your child, but for yourself.

Gays do not need counseling, they need there parents to know they will love them no matter what they decide in there lifetime.

Get over yourselves, and the fact that not everyone maybe ideal in your standards.
Get a grip on reality, GAYS EXIST, accept it, and MOVE ON.

Okay.. I personally have no problem with homosexuality I have quite a few friends who are gay/lesbians.. but I dont think that is the issue here..
and in response to what eskimo whatever saida 13 year old and a 15 year old.. IS Child molestation (if there is something going on) The reason for this being child molestation is the fact that both parties are not within the age of consent.. PERIOD..
What I would do.. personally, I would try to build up the trust factor in my and my sons relationship, then talk to him about it naturally.. try not to make a big fuss about it.. or you will never get an honest answer out of him, he will become defensive, and not speak to you about anything..
Ask him who the 15 year old is, if you do not already know... ask him how their relationship(friendship) is going, and how well he trusts him.. If he acts a bit shady when you ask him how well he trusts him, then yes there probably is something going on.. Many teenage boys do not play under the covers together..

If you prefer not to talk with him, the LEAST I would do would be to make an open door policy.. such as if you have company over, male or female the door to whatever room they are in must be open.. that will reduce the likeliness of this incident happening again.. Hope I helped at least a little bit..

Teens are curios..don't hurt yourself worrying over this. Perhaps he is just curious, but straight. Perhaps he is bisexual. Perhaps he is gay. Whatever he is, he is your son and he was born that way. (New studies show being gay is caused by epigenetics in the womb)

Id say dont talk to his father..fathers have a harder time when their own son is/or might be gay. It could be very hard for both of them. Anywho if you really think your son was being forced against his will..talk to him. Heck talk to him anyways...AS LONG AS YOU MAKE SURE HE KNOWS YOU WILL LIVE HIM NO MATTER WHAT, AND WETHER HE LIKES GIRLS OR GUYS IS JUST JOW HE WAS BORN. If you tell him being with males is wrong, and it turns out he IS gay, he will live closeted in misery and pain his WHOLE LIFE )': Love him lots!

I like what was said on another post..this person is spot on!
*****************
"Gays do not need counseling, they need there parents to know they will love them no matter what they decide in there lifetime.

Get over yourselves, and the fact that not everyone maybe ideal in your standards.
Get a grip on reality, GAYS EXIST, accept it, and MOVE ON. "

Teens are curios..don't hurt yourself worrying over this. Perhaps he is just curious, but straight. Perhaps he is bisexual. Perhaps he is gay. Whatever he is, he is your son and he was born that way. (New studies show being gay is caused by epigenetics in the womb)

Id say dont talk to his father..fathers have a harder time when their own son is/or might be gay. It could be very hard for both of them. Anywho if you really think your son was being forced against his will..talk to him. Heck talk to him anyways...AS LONG AS YOU MAKE SURE HE KNOWS YOU WILL LIVE HIM NO MATTER WHAT, AND WETHER HE LIKES GIRLS OR GUYS IS JUST JOW HE WAS BORN. If you tell him being with males is wrong, and it turns out he IS gay, he will live closeted in misery and pain his WHOLE LIFE )': Love him lots!

I like what was said on another post..this person is spot on!
*****************
"Gays do not need counseling, they need there parents to know they will love them no matter what they decide in there lifetime.

Get over yourselves, and the fact that not everyone maybe ideal in your standards.
Get a grip on reality, GAYS EXIST, accept it, and MOVE ON. "

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