7 Things You Learn About Yourself After a Borderline Personality Diagnosis

As someone who’s been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD), I know it can be an intense daily roller coaster ride. But getting a diagnosis can lead to some important self-discoveries, too.

Here some things you might learn about yourself after getting diagnosed with BPD:

1. You might have to accept most people won’t get it.

When you’re trying to explain your diagnosis, it might be hard for others to understand. If they think they get it, they’re probably being misled by pop culture references like “Girl Interrupted.” Do your best to educate your loved ones about what BPD means for you.

2. Sometimes you can’t trust your instincts.

If you have BPD, arguments with people you love might feel like the end of the world. I feel like if I argue or say the wrong things, my loved ones will abandon me. Part of living with BPD is learning to accept that sometimes what you’re feeling or thinking is brought on by your disorder.3. Your diagnosis can be a relief and a curse.

Finally being told you have a legitimate disorder can be a massive relief. But at the same time, it can make you start questioning everything you thought you knew about yourself. This can be the beginning of self-exploration. The journey is a hard one, but it’s worthwhile.4. It’s not your fault.

While we do need to take responsibility for our own behaviors and actions, it’s not our fault we have this illness. BPD is caused by a combination of both environmental and genetic factors — but 60 percent of the risk of developing borderline disorder is caused by genetic abnormalities.

5. You can still have a great personality.

I know that even with my BPD diagnosis, I can still be the life and soul of the party. Most of the people I know who are diagnosed with BPD are intelligent, artistic, creative and charming, despite their disorders. Also, because I have a loose sense of who I am, I’m very willing to try new things. This means I’m generally an open-minded person, and I experience a lot some people might miss.6. Your partner and best friends are the strongest.

I know from personal experience being with someone with BPD isn’t the easiest — I have a terrible habit of hating the people I love most. The people who stick with me can see through that.7. You’re one strong cookie, too.

If you’ve just been diagnosed with BPD, you’re one hell of a strong person. It’s difficult living with unstable relationships, impulsivity and inappropriate reactions to stress all while trying to figure out who you are.

One thing I’ll promise you is that the more self-aware you become, and the better you understand your cycles, behaviors and what you need to be healthy, the easier living with BPD will be. Once you’ve learned what parts of your personality are actually BPD and what parts are you, you can become the best person you can be. You’ll be able to respect and be respected, understand and be understood and above all, love and be loved.

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