Monthly Archives: January 2007

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Instead of yesterday’s. 8 a.m. call, I have all the way until 10:30 to arrive today — the second day of jury selection. I’m hoping to not be picked as an alternate for this auto vs. auto = back pain case. The judge estimates 12 days for this one. Way, way too long. I am somewhat confident that my previous jury experience on just such a case — about 10 years ago in Van Nuys — soured me enough on this type of litigation to get me sprung.

1/11/07 10:23 am

Took Beverly Glen today. Saved about 15 minutes. It could be due to leaving at 9:30 a.m. and not 7.

At any rate, It’s go time. Alternates must be picked. Best case: I don’t even get questioned and am out by 11. Worst case: I get on the jury and am here for the next three weeks listening to medical expert witnesses do whatever it is they do for $300 an hour.

The Santa Monica jury room has a separate TV room (no snoring in there, says jury-room doyenne Kelly — you will be removed).

There’s a TV room with a DVD player. There’s a list of five approved movies. No movies, just a list of “approved” movies. You can bring your own DVD in. As long as it’s on the list of approved movies. I didn’t ask.

At noon, the soaps start, and the channel is chosen by a vote, Kelly says.

There are magazines.

“We have some classics from the 1980s — National Geographic,” Kelly says.

Everybody knows there’s a movie during “juror orientation.” The lights were dimmed, the movie — titled “Ideals Made Real: The Jury” — was shown. I heard only these words:

“The coffee will be ready after the movie.”

After the closing credits rolled, I woke up. Kelly told us she broke her foot recently and said not to “give her any sass” over how she was walking in heels. I have to assume she was talking to the women in the room.

“Beauty is pain, right?” she adds.

Other things we learned about Kelly: She wasn’t familiar with Santa Monica when she was initially assigned to the court and spent the first week lunching at Jack in the Box. Thereafter, she had a thing with compulsive shopping. Since then, she’s expanded her lunching horizons and cut back on the shopping.

Then it was time for some jury business:

“If you borrowed a pen (to fill out the juror forms), we would like it back. Yesterday we had 14 pens. We got two back.

“I’d like to say the pens buzz when you leave the room, but they do not.”

Somebody’s going to make a fortune when they invent the Security Pen. Actually, all you’d have to do is put one of those magnetized security tags they use in library books into the pen — and then lock up the perps. If you’re reading this post, please forget about this killer idea, as I’m going to use it myself and rake in the cash.