Wednesday, September 21, 2011

A Wasted 2 Bucks

One of the last times I shared with my brother Craig was at Valleyfair. I payed a boy at a booth to guess my age, I thought it was so awesome that despite having five children he guessed me younger than I was. Somehow he built my confidence and then gave me a stupid blow up bat. Craig laughed at me, he knew it was a waste of time. Three years later, the bat sits my closet and I have aged.

The past few years have kicked by butt in so many ways, showing wear emotionally and physically aging. My heart breaks still anticipating Craig's broad shoulders walking in with a big grin. Today I'm not really ok. It really sucks.

But that is what happens when you love someone, and it's worth it. Not everyone in life receives that love, I've seen it rejected too many times. There is a whole lotta crappy things formed out of fear, including mine.

It's funny how times doesn't make things better, just different. You'd think I would have figured it out by now, but honestly I keep focusing on the end party- it's all I have.

I am thankful for big brothers who have always had your back. For the Lord whipping my snot covered floor while I'm on my knees. I am thankful my confidence and value isn't in found in a booth at Valleyfair, but in His arms. For without it, I'm jacked.

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I dont think you look like what you been through.Then again i dont really know what you been through,but i do know the look and sound of a broken heart. One thing i have learned is that time* and God* will help you stand in what your going through.

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I came across your post purly by accident while checking out other blogs, but accident or no, I'm glad I did. I enjoyed reading your post, about your big brother it was touching. Made me think about my big brother's I have two of them. Although we don't talk regularly I can't imagine life without them. Your reflection helped me realize how much we take for granted. Thanks and continue to post...I'll be looking forward to the next Light Understandings! (~_*)

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About Me

it seems the more i learn, the less i really know about this incredible adventure. i'm a daughter to the King, mommy to five crazy and wild kiddos, and wife to my best pal. just trying to figure out how to bring glory to the real and living God and how to live lots everyday..