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For research purposes, I have decided to test the waters and see if perhaps I should be moving out of state to find the love of my life. So, according to another profile – I have up and moved to New York. But, so far – I have only come across more idiots.

“hello name is mikei am in north nji am 31 and chefcan we chatyou look amazingi love sexy lipscan i ask you open minded questions”

Now, because I didn’t have a clause on this profile that says “Make sure you read what I have to say..” I decided to respond to this Mike, mostly because I was intrigued at what he meant by “open minded questions.”

“What kind of open minded questions?”

“own any sexy heels or boots
ever been to adult store”

Really, dude? Are you really soliciting girls on the internet asking these questions? Let me also mention that his username has a little star by it, meaning he PAYS MONEY for this online profile.. and he also spent money and sent me a picture of a teddy bear. WHAT!? Why do people waste money on this?