Mommies, a question for you !!!

The daughters want us to come to PTA meeting in Jeans and top / kurti. They want us to dress young and avoid the bulky sari. 😉 😉 Saris are for weddings, is the clear idea, among girls.

Mother of teenage / college going sons (A few friends with whom I interacted recently)

The sons want their mothers to visit their college in sari only….they insist on not wearing the jeans or salwar suits. Its Ok to wear jeans to other places, but to college / school visits, sari is a must, says the sons.

Half the time, the children decide what they want their mothers to wear !!! What do I say ???? 😉 😉

Does ur teenager decide things like this at home ???? Come on, share with me. 🙂

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43 Replies to “Mommies, a question for you !!!”

LOL I dont have teenage child still but I know what u mean… I have seen that happening with my sil… she doesnt wear jeans etc and her kids are after me to take her shopping and get cool clothes like me… she is in a fix now

I sat with the kids and told them cool clothes are what your mother is comfortable wearning not what u think look cool but at 10 yrs I dont think they understood what I told them, for them its the cool qoutient of the moms wearning jeans and sunglasses that matter

kids are very competitive and also very sensitive of what other kids say about their parents and I guess that is why the difference in the choice of clothing comes between boys and girls… teenage girls think mums wearing jeans are cool whereas teenage boys think they are hot… and boys dont like their moms being considered hot by their friends….

I just love ur comment Monu. Esp this one “cool clothes are what your mother is comfortable wearning not what u think look cool” !!! 🙂 Its very true. 🙂

Even though I agree to wear what my girls’ suggest, I make sure that I dont say yes to all they say. And when I choose my dress, I make it clear that its what I want to wear…so dont mess with me. Sometimes, after the PTA, all my daughter’s friends will come and tell me that I look very stylish and cool. I used to wonder, what these girls will tell their mothers and how they’ll react to it.

As u rightly said, its the peer pressure which acts in these scenarios.

About 20-25 years ago, Mom’s like me actually wore sarees mostly. But the kids friends commented on just about anything. And that would colour most opinions. I used to rush around on a two wheeler to work/school/lunch hour dabba/etc because everything was so close and the children could eat a hot lunch. While my son had a resigned attitude to this, my daughter told me once that her friends commented disparagingly on this two wheeler stuff, and no one else’s Mom went around like this. I had to explain things to my daughter , after which things were fine. I have found that most kids inadvertantly echo what their mothers discuss, and form opinions about other people.

Kids do care what we wear. My kids always wanted me dressed ‘normally’ i.e. not to dress in any way unusual (or too different from everybody else maybe…?). I wore jeans, or for evenings, western formals.

I know, what you mean, Uma! I have a friend whose teenage son is forever pestering his mom to wear western clothes… and my friend is not at all comfortable wearing them but still once in a while she wears to please the child. I believe, there is a peer pressure among children for all these things!

Shail, by the length of ur comment, its understood, how much you have to say on this topic…do a post on this na !!!! 🙂 🙂

As a mother of sons, what you have written is partially true for me. My elder son insisted that I go to his school/college in a sari. But the younger son has no such qualms (Attaboy!). Even if he is not too fond of a top or kurti, he just states that and insists that’s just his opinion, I am free to wear whatever I like. He does not ask me to change to more traditional clothes if his friends are coming home. I am awfully proud of the junior son for this attitude, his ability to see even his mother as an individual and not just a ‘mother’.WOW, Bravo boy…I like this attitude !!!!

And yes, I have something up my sleeve to make the elder one realise the error of his ways, his focus on me as a ‘mother’ rather than an individual.Let me know on what u do and how he reacts to it. 🙂

Even now he expresses his preferences in what I should wear(which I don’t object to as we all are free to air our opinions) and insists that I comply using gentle persuasion or subtle remarks. (which I certainly object to). 😉 🙂
As a teenage daughter I remember tying mother’s hair up in different styles and taking an interest in what she wore etc.Even now, my patti asks me which sari to wear, when we go out somewhere. 🙂

It’s high time boys/sons and most of all grown men, see mothers as individuals in their own right.
When I was a college student, I overheard the young mother next door talking to my mother how her 6 year old son did not like her wear this or that sort of dress (nothing other than a sari, not even a nightie at nightie while sleeping). The pride and affection in her voice had to be heard to be believed. Ugh! I was still unmarried then. But I was revolted and sickened by it. How dare she not talk to her son and make him understand that she was an individual too?? How silly and simpering the women are when it comes to their sons and their requests, I remember thinking. I did not forget that when I became a mother myself. 🙂Oh…some women take pride in such things…its really a aarrggh scene…

Monika has said it right, “…cool clothes are what your mother is comfortable wearing not what u think look cool” So the final decision should be left to the mother herself.Yes, Monu is damn right. 🙂

Is that what I have in store? As of now, I have no interference in whatever I wear 🙂 And while I can understand the need for children to ‘fit in’, I hope I am able to explain to daughter, as she grows up, that it is important to have your own personality, and to be able to wear clothes that one is comfortable with and carry it off with flair. Or am I hoping for too much 🙂

LOL…this is funny!
Which reminds me…my parents have never come to my school ever! 😀 I always made sure thr was a valid excuse for the parents not turning up. I was a brat then…and parents HAD to be kept away from teachers 😉 😉

What about kids (and in their late teens too!) who dictate that their Moms should dye their hair! Or maybe the mom’s just need an excuse! It’s their hair after and if want to or don’t want to dye/ color it – I don’t think they need their kids’ opinions. As if the kids fall in line re their own wardrobe and hairstyles.
Recently we had house guests – the mom was wearing capris. Her husband suggested that she should change in to trousers – to go shopping in Mumbai! I said it was perfectly fine – Mumbai’s a real casual place. But the husband says: “I don’t have problem. Our son does!!” I could have whacked all three (was seriously looking for an excuse for other reasons!!!).

🙂 nice topic! well my two ‘putrans’ do have their say, and sometimes i too seek their general opinion on what i wear, and ofcourse not always listen to them!! For the PTA though im supposed to dress up a bit special, but not too special, a bit modern but not to cross the line, and generally the code is dont attract unwarranted attention, esp from their chums n teachers! so just merge with the crowd, with just a tiny edge over other moms! ;>

So, what does it explain ???? 😉 😉 But u liked ur mom in jeans, right ??? Did she like to be in jeans ???? Becos, me and my girls like to be in jeans all the time and each one approves the other in jeans !!! 😉 😉

Nice post Uma… and the following discussion here in the comment section 🙂 i too have seen teenaged girl forcing her mom to change her clothes after she is all set to go out 😦
Ammu likes to choose clothes for me… if i dont want to wear what she suggests.. i give her my reasons and she thankfully understands and suggests alternatives 🙂
My mom used to wear saris only.. and that too cotton ones mostly. She never wore pins to hold up the pallu. When i was a teen I used to take an interest..straighten out the pleats and pin the pallu properly for her 🙂