From the time I was about 15, my mother had a good friend named Doug. He was awesome: he taught me to merengue, served me my first rum and coke, and was the first openly gay man I knew. (This became much more important to me many years later, as I started my relationship with Donna.) Doug was HIV+ and died in 2001. I was out of touch with him at the time, and did not find out until 2 years later, sometime in 2003. A few years after that, I located Doug’s partner and had the privilege of having some meaningful conversations with him about Doug and the circumstances around his passing.

I think of Doug often. He was kind, generous and engaging. I wish I had kept in touch with him.