Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I am in love with my son. In my eyes he is just perfect. The new life he has breathed into me is indescribable. The joy he has brought our family is a gift that I am enjoying every second. Getting to watch his every move is such a privilege. Everyday he is blossoming into this little boy who will always be changing.... for the better....... because of love.

I want him to feel the same love for me because I am his Mama. I want him to trust and feel secure enough to be happy and love just the way my other children do.

Every day I make sure to spend some time rocking him right around the time he is going to sleep. The first night I did this, he cried for 10 minutes before drifting off to sleep. Although his adjustment has been going incredibly well, he seems to prefer to self sooth himself by sucking his hand and rubbing his neck. He would rather do this by himself. While this is not a terrible thing, I personally feel that he should be able to be soothed by me. I want him to know that he no longer needs to solely rely on himself to be comforted.

I am his Mama and I want him to know what it feels like to be rocked, cuddled, hugged......... I want him to know physical touch in the way that would actually cause him to reach out for it himself.

I look forward to the day where he leans forward to rub noses with me and then steals a little kiss just because he can.

Tonight when I got him ready for bed there was hardly a whimper when I picked him up to rock him. While he preferred to look away from me as I rocked him the prior two nights, this time I decided to hold him facing me. I wanted him to see my eyes, feel my breath, hear my heartbeat, and feel my kisses and nose rubs all over his face.

I'm so happy that Dennis has you for a Mom!Caleb wanted to be left alone at bedtime too, but I did what you are doing and began rocking him. It didn't take long for him to love that! He still loves it...and it gives me some relaxation and quiet time with him at the end of the day. :)Amy

Your words have brought me to tears. Many times since we brought our son home from Serbia last month, I have rocked him. I have also plucked him up out of his crib on many occasions to lay in bed with me. Even though he is sleeping, I am sure that he is growing to know me more and learning to trust in me.

It is also a wonderful time to pray for my precious child. I know what you mean when you say that you want him to love you like you love him. As the days go by, I see our David becoming more and more at ease in his surroundings. He is relying on us. I know that you are already seeing that in Dennis, too. I pray that he is able to continue to draw closer to you each day. I know your love for him is deeper than words can express. Thanks for sharing so deeply from your heart.

I just wanted to pop by and say hello! Thank you so much for checking out my blog! I have been almost in tears as I've read through your story here. What a sweet little boy and what an incredible journey so far! You all are so lucky to have each other. I can't wait to hear more about your journey. I will definitely be stopping back by.

Love Love Love that picture!! You need to have that blown up to an 8X10 and hang it on your wall. It is so precious....it truly speaks from a mother's heart. Your children all seem so nurturing too...love all the pictures of them just looking at or playing with Dennis...how sweet is that? I'm getting ready for a rummage sale...it's so much work...oh well, whatever doesn't sell, will go to Goodwill. The kids want to have a cookie/brownie sale table...so I have been baking like a mad woman. Delaney said to me, "Mamma, I can make like two dollars or something to bring Quinn home, that's a lot of money." So, of course, I'm baking and baking for them. Time for more coffee, baking and pricing items....Take Care.

Now that we are home should I....

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Thank you for stopping by. This is the story of our journey to Ukraine to adopt a son. Please join us on this ride at full speed ahead as we make a path that will ultimately lead to one of God's most precious gifts. A child.