little before [much.]

"whoever is faithful in little is also faithful in much." luke 16:10
i am in a season right now that i have often found myself in. antsy for what's next, what's coming, what might be better than this. i have a tendency to try to be ten steps ahead of what is happening in my life, never wanting to be surprised or caught off guard. i am an abstract and creative thinker by nature, so i dream big dreams and cast vision for myself -- which i think is good, of course. but i definitely get too caught up in it and find myself frustrated with what i have in front of me because i somehow decided it isn't good enough or sexy enough or challenging enough or whatever enough. and i get mad all over again, as if this current life i'm living wasn't a very big dream i had not even a year ago.

i was running the other night (i've mentioned that running surfaces all of my frustrations, yes?) and i was yelling at God in my head about how i felt like what i had wasn't what i wanted and how he, once again, was withholding his best from me and how dumb my life must look from the outside and why didn't he listen to my plan because i made a really good one up in my head. and i glanced up at this unbelievable sunset across my favorite southern california sky, and i felt like i heard him say (with attitude, because that's how God and i roll): "why would you ever try to compete with my creativity? i made that sunset and it's different than every one i've ever made. i made the body you constantly criticize, and it's currently moving you to run countless miles. and i have an adventure planned for you that is wilder than your tiny brain could ever dream up. i created creativity itself, so i win at dreams and visions. look at what you have in front of you. don't worry about the much that comes later. i've got it under control."