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Midweek link roundup

When I was in school I always used to get in trouble for talking or passing notes with my friends instead of doing my work. Little did I know it would prefigure my blogging habits. Sure, we haven’t turned in a lot of essays, but here’s a peek at what we’ve been passing notes about in the last week or so:

Adams’ argument applies on several levels here. The ad displays both the meaty sandwich and the female body as objects ready for masculine consumption. The woman in the ad is not meant to enjoy the burger, for this is not about her. Like the meat, she is a thing to be consumed, a thing that will provide the viewer with a hearty dose of masculinity and virility. In an interesting twist, this ad, which is clearly intended to sell a piece of meat to straight men, also presents the phallic stand-in as something desirable. Men are supposed to see this image and think something along the lines of: “I like BJs and burgers, cuz I’m a real man. I need some BK,” yet the ad makes the meat into a sexualized, fetishized masculine object.

So is it “natural” for me to weigh 300 lbs? I have no fucking idea. Maybe if I hadn’t lost and regained (and lost and regained, and lost and regained) so much weight as a kid and teenager, I would weigh less now. Maybe if I hadn’t started dieting at nine years of age and possibly affected what would have become a normal adult metabolism, I would weigh less now. I have no way of knowing. And I can’t travel back in time (….yet) to find out whether doing things differently would have led to a different result. And even if I could, I don’t know that I would bother.

I’m curious about this article — the thesis seems to be that obesity has always been treated as a product of metabolism and genetics, but maybe instead it should be treated as an eating disorder. Was this published in Proceedings of the Bizarro Academy of Sciences?

BMI may be even less accurate for African-Americans. There’s increasing evidence that race needs to be a factor in at least some medical decision-making, but as in so many other areas of life, able-bodied white men are the default and everyone else is considered an outlier or a deviation. It’s good that research is being done, but I’m thinking the medical community needs to listen to Lesley: bodies are not variations on a narrow template.

Friend of the blog Robin Abrahams (otherwise known as Miss Conduct) wrote an excellent piece about how to handle situations where the rules of etiquette and one’s personal preferences for treatment are at odds. We’ve been kicking around ideas about a post on “safe space” (and also a very belated review of Robin’s book) so look for those in the future, but meanwhile, you get a slightly-less-belated link.

Just as we expect more than etiquette strictly demands from those whom we love, we should be willing to accept less than etiquette demands if there are no emotions at stake. That’s how it works with those whom we love and who love us: we learn which buttons to avoid and which ones we can happily pound away on all day.

And it’s absolutely vital to sanity to realize that when you step out of your circle of loved ones, you no longer have the right to that kind of customized treatment. People will say things that are hurtful to you, and if those things are within the common bounds of civility we’ve defined as a society, you cowboy up and answer them politely.

Hanna Rosin at Double X writes about a new documentary on sex changes in Iran and makes our heads explode. Don’t tell me I’m “used to thinking of ‘transgender’ as the last stop on the gay train to freedom and self expression,” Rosin — believe it or not, I think that the ability to become the opposite gender is not actually all gay folks’ ultimate goal. (Watch also for the part where she claims to have a better idea of “the universal truth about being transgender” than trans activists do!) Still, the documentary sounds very interesting.

Sweet Machine’s looking for a go-to dress for summer, something as versatile as this one (or at least, as versatile as that one would be if you weren’t a total remixing GENIUS). Do you have a go-to piece that acts as the underpinning of infinite outfits?

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68 thoughts on “Midweek link roundup”

I have several cross-front dresses with empire waists, some from Old Navy and even one from Walmart, that I’ve been cycling through this summer. I keep some capri leggings around for the shorter ones (it’s windy here) and usually have a black or white cami underneath so I don’t have to buy a plunge bra. The dresses themselves are plain black, teal, red, etc. but I switch out funky jewelry and stuff depending on where I’m going. Meeting with Hubby’s 1st Sgt? Conservative heart pendant and cardigan. Friend’s b-day? Funky colored beaded bohemian-like something-or-other necklace and homemade hair gems.

I had to take Double X off my RSS feed when they started going on about how terrible it would be to live the life of sacrifice and martyrdom you would live if you were married to a disabled woman. Enraging. I wish there was a way to just add Dahlia Lithwick’s posts.

John Hodgeman makes me so happy. All he has to do is start talking and within moments, I’m giggling. I freaking loved that speech. While I did not know the name of the god whom Conan worshiped, I am only slightly ashamed to admit that I was able to answer the three-part Dune quiz.

Also, I am tempted to go buy something from Abercrombie and Fitch, just so I can return it with an air of righteous disdain.

If you’re looking for an LBD, Zaftique finally has some that are not too fussy under $65. Their site isn’t as well organized as it could be, so if you type Dress-Black into the search function that should give you the black dresses. I was thinking of the Adjustable Sweetheart Dress or the Sweet Maiden Dress for myself.

Then again, I’m partial to them because they go up to (and beyond!) my size without being all frumpity. SM seems to be a good deal smaller than I am so mileage may vary wildly.

I got to meet Hodgman in person last week (yes, still bragging about it, thanks) and I would like to note as a point of interest (if not something that actually matters) that he is not “pudgy” at all, but is actually overall a fairly small man, with a round face that reads on TV as “pudgy”. I suppose his clothes and his glasses and continually standing next to Justin Long might further emphasize the idea that he’s a stocky older guy. It’s funny how celebrities are always smaller than TV makes them seem, which in turn I think is why people, especially fat people, have such a dysmorphic view of ourselves sometimes…it’s hard to compare yourself to others when the only “fat” people you ever see aren’t, actually, you know, fat.

I can’t get over how much I love that John Hodgman speech. Not only is it hilarious, it is actually about something. 4 stars for awesome. (-1 for Star Trek instead of Star Wars, can a girl get a “may the force be with you?”)

I have such a lust for John Hodgman it’s not funny. So damn funny and smart and adorkable with that cute round head. I’m a sucker for geek boys.

Is XX really supposed to be a feminist site? Some of the posts there really make me wonder, like the one rant about the Jezebel writers who didn’t report being sexually assaulted. I still am trying to parse that insanity (the post, not the Jez writers’ actions).

I keep hoping for some sort of MSM coverage of Chris Brown’s plea and what it means. Revisiting so many of those girls who claimed Rhihanna must be lying &/or “made” him hit her. A conversation is what I want.

le sigh

I continue to struggle with the latest healthcare reform conversations and the ongoing “fat people should pay more, they ruin everything” component.

I loved Hodgman’s speech. It’s wasn’t as gutsy as Stephen Colbert’s (who has guts of titanium), but it was so sly and odd. He won me over completely when he referred to President Obama’s “obviously prosthetic ears”.

As a geeky, fat, asthmatic, librarian married to a computer geek, I am so loving the John Hodgman speech. (I never read Dune or Lord of the Rings, though.)

Re Alyce’s comment: I’m with you there. I work with teens everyday and they really, really, really truly believed that she deserved and if their boyfriend hit them, that they also deserved it. The girls were brutal with their reactions to the beating. The boys, on the other hand, were more sympathetic.

Thank you for the link, Godless Heathen. I’ll save it to look at it for homecoming. <3

I haven’t even heard of John Hodgman before this, but man, he’s funny. XD

There weren’t enough hardcore nerds in the room. Not enough laughter on some of the jokes. Anyone who can make a reference to both LOTR and Star Trek is fine by me. I love that the President takes it all in stride. Just the fact that Obama is a bit of a nerd as well makes me like him even more, if that’s possible. XD

One thing I’m very frustrated about is the invisibility of people like me who go through periods of intense calorie restriction, never binge, and still end up hugely overweight. I have tried in vain to find any help – no one seems to believe I exist. Everything I find on eating disorders and obesity seems to believe I must be cramming 3000+ calories down my throat a day and I have never, ever done this.
Except for my actual weight, I have had on-off again symptoms of anorexia for years. But no one believes me.

Is there anything at Zaftique that’s not polyester? I liked some of the styles, but I can’t wear poly at all. I did search for other fabrics, but got no returns … then again, the search function seemed, erm, pretty basic.

That documentary about transsexuals in Iran was shown on British TV last year and was a really fascinating watch (leaving aside the article) – and very sad. A lot of them were clearly only having the operation because of pressure and many seemed to end up forced into prostitution afterwards as well, hating it and hating their bodies. I remember there was one who just starts crying “I have murdered love in my body” – just awful. The message I took from it, once again, is that black and white rules for living and being are unhealthy for everyone.

“Except for my actual weight, I have had on-off again symptoms of anorexia for years. But no one believes me.”

I believe you! I did the ‘anorexia thing’ for years, until I seriously damaged some vital organs. :-(
I was never thin, though; most I could do was keep my weight below 250lbs. Still almost killed me. Weight-bias is built right into the clinical definition/diagnosis of anorexia nervosa; if I understand correctly, a person must actually be a certain percentage ‘underweight’ to be considered to have it. But many of us have experienced it at much (much!) higher weights!

I’m getting whiplash from the “fat might have been good”, “OH NO FAT IS NOT GOOD IT IS HORRIBLE” switchup. So… if it helped immune response in the past… does that not mean that it could be doing so now? But I guess we don’t get horrible diseases now. Like swine flu.

Fat seemed to be protective BUT IT’S NOT ANYMORE against tuburculosis IT’S KILLING US NOW and in some people seems to cause a stronger immune response BUT DON’T THINK FAT IS GOOD, ‘CAUSE IT’S NOT and maybe that’s a better explanation than the thrifty gene hypothosis NO LICENSE!!!11!!

Hey, all, just stopped in to blogwhore, as I have a poll up that may be of interest to Shapelings (click on my name to get there. Click it. CLICK IT!), and what do I find but a discussion of dresses, which has been much on my mind of late.

Specifically, I am wishing for a summer sun-dress type of thing that will support my boobs. There’s a ton of those dresses with the smocking on the top, but they’re just not supportive enough. Victoria’s Secret makes something called a ‘bra dress,’ but — naturally — it’s meant to push your breasts up and over your shoulders, or expose half of them for The Mens to ogle, rather than actually, you know, supporting them. Anybody got any leads to throw my way?

I have a question about the “racktastic” dress at Zaftique: exactly what kind of undergarment does one wear with it?

I ask because as a racktastic type myself, the bras that support my cleavage are all tall enough between the breasts to be quite visible in the plunge neckline (even the ones whose underwires don’t reach to my clavicle!). Even the so-called plunge bras would appear to have too much substance there not to show.

I suppose one could wear a camisole of some sort underneath it, but wouldn’t that then defeat the purpose of such a neckline? Not to mention be gawdawful hot underneath a polyester dress?

I have never known what people wear under those things but I figured if anyone did, you guys would :).

Hey Meg I actually just wrote a post about that pile of guff today! If you’re interested, its here.

I (presumably unlike the journalists) actually went and read a few of the submissions that the Taskforce recieved, and I’m surprised that they don’t all have the whiplash that Big Alice is talking about!

JenRave, I’m right there with you. I had a doctor last year tell me flat out that she thought I was lying about having issues with Not Eating Even Though Hungry. Even though I was a ‘normal’ weight when I was a teen, my longest/most intense bout of restriction probably didn’t get me down to ‘underweight’ before I started doing things like fainting in school. (I say probably because no-one noticed anything (restricting/weight loss) besides the fainting and I don’t remember anymore what I weighed.)

I want to write about this somewhere, but I’m not sure where. I’m afraid your comments will have to do!

I’m an aspiring powerlifter (a discipline within weightlifting) and now I’m getting more serious, I decided to look into sports nutrition products. The Maximuscle brand have a big campaign here in the UK at the moment, so I went to their website & signed up with them for a catalogue of products and some training tips.

The main (read “male”) section of their site is all about building muscle & strength, gaining muscle, etc etc.

What I received in the post is a catalog for their “Maxiwomen” products, which are all about…… losing fat & “toning up”. The catalog reads like an advertorial, with sections of looking good in a bikini and even…fitting into your wedding dress.

For pity’s sake.

Would they put that stuff in the men’s catalog? I’m going to email them & ask for a copy of their main catalog, to find out. My initial thought is…no.

I really really hate this enforced idea that it’s OK for men to aim to be big & strong; but we women… no! We have to aim to be toned and slim and never EVER *EVER* bulk up.

What’s so wrong with bulking up? Why is it a concept that so many women fear (just google “women bulk up” and you’ll find literally bazillions of articles for women, on how to lift without the dreaded bulking up).

It ran about 2 or so years back. I saw it and finally got angry enough after two weeks to speak to someone in one of their brick and mortar stores and sent off an email to… someone (I can’t remember if it was a manager or marketing) asking them to stop airing it. This was very early on in my self-acceptance and size-acceptance, so it was a big thing for me.

This is kind of along the lines of the commenters who have experienced ED but were not believed because of their size.

I’ve been talking to a tiny 14 year old girl for half a year now and I’m honestly afraid that if she doesn’t take control of her disease that she will die.

She’s finally been diagnosed with anorexia (but it took awhile because her mom encouraged her to lose weight). She had to hit 70 something pounds before it happened though.

I’m so upset by the whole thing, for a long time she would argue that she wasn’t anorexic because, technically, her BMI wouldn’t get her diagnosed. I worry that when they finally force her into gaining enough weight to be ‘healthy’ they’ll quit treating her and say, “Disease over! Job well done!”

I plan on going into psychiatry and I still don’t understand why ED are treated more as physical disease than mental disorders. I haven’t seen my therapist in two months because we’ve both been on vacation but when I finally see him next week I’m going to ask him why there’s a weight requirement to get diagnosed.

He’s a fairly large guy who says he eats pretty healthy most of the time, so I’m hoping his answer will be along the lines of, “It’s something that has to change.” I still worry though, wish me luck?

Heather: I certainly wish you luck; This reminds me of some stories I’ve heard of people meeting all the requirements, including BMI but not the absence of periods- and not getting diagnosed. To me, that’s a huge what the fuck.

I think this can only be treated as my own POV but here’s my take on what you’ve said: EDs are viewed as a physical condition because culturally, we’ve been so washed to believe that dieting and the weight lost with it is good. EDs are now reduced to fodder for magazines to rag on celebrities about. It’s so *normal* to praise weight loss that whether it’s from a simple diet change or chemotherapy, it garners praise.

There are people out there who wish they could have an eating disorder just so they can lose weight. I don’t know how to feel when they say that. An eating disorder is mental torture.

Then again, this ties in with how far people are willing to go to alter how they look physically (You might have seen this on Fat Lot of Good.)

When I was struggling with an eating disorder 2 years ago, I firmly believed that even though something was terribly wrong with me and that *something* might kill me, I deserved it for being a horrible person in every aspect, and that even if I tried to get help, no one would believe me because I was fat.

I look back now, and don’t want anyone, regardless of size, to have to go through that.

The majority of women I know have disordered eating, but hardly any of them could be given a diagnosis. The diagnostic criteria for EDs are deeply flawed. I am a cynic but I really do think the whole system is set up to make the vast majority of people with problems ineligible for diagnosis and formal treatment (which their insurance companies would have to cover in some part). And even those people who fit the criteria perfectly have to fight their insurance to get inpatient treatment, nutritionists, etc.

No one should have to suffer through disordered eating. You all deserve help, compassion and healing. And you should not be accused of lying! Please don’t give up trying to find the right people to help you.

I hope to goodness that having more body mass when you’re restricting/purging has a protective effect.. .

JenRave et seq., I am so in your corner. In the last few years I’ve been prone to starving myself during periods of emotional upheaval, a real departure for me, whose appetite was never affected by emotions. I would go for a month or more unable to eat more than a little at a time, or anything but noodle soups. And it would make me slip into disordered thoughts about food; i.e., everything sucks but at least I will be THIN; I’m so virtuous and ethereal because I’m not eating; I will use lack of food to punish myself, etc…. Seriously, I don’t think I ever lost an OUNCE. And yeah, that is anorexic thinking that was going on. So I believe you, too.

Re: third link about eating disorders, obesity, and their causes. I may be an outlier here, but I didn’t read that abstract as saying that obesity might be all in our heads. What I got out of that was “Current research largely assumes that anorexia and bulimia nervosa have purely psychological causes, and obesity has purely genetic causes. But we would like to propose that the two are not mutually exclusive. It is probable given what we’ve seen in our research that these two specific eating disorders begin with genetic predisposition and are exacerbated by psychological factors, and that the same can be said of obesity.”

Now, whether or not that in and of itself is an insulting argument is a whole ‘nother ball of wax. On the one hand, I think the idea of both genetics and psychology being factors in any person’s health makes good sense. But what the research seems to do is conflating the state of having a higher ratio of adipose tissue to lean mass on your body with a state of psychological distress, which is only made possible by conflating having anorexia and bulimia nervosa with being and/or wanting to be skinny. Which is putting the cart so far before the horse it is nowhere to be found.

Wait just a minute here. The product they’re advertising is a wobbly platform? Oh, yeah, like anyone’s going to suddenly become thin from standing on a wobbly platform. It’s like they think we’ll believe anything we see on TV. Oh, wait, they probably do believe exactly that.

Jen, I read it as “maybe we should start considering the possibility that, instead of being genetically and metabolically inclined to be fat, some fat people just eat too much.” Your read is more accurate, actually — they carefully DON’T say “binge eating,” and are clearly talking about an eating disorder that includes restricting as well as (or in addition to) overeating. But so many people are convinced that obesity == binge eating and all other postulated causes are “excuses” that for a researcher to say “hey, maybe obesity ISN’T largely genetic” totally boggled my mind.

You know, the reason why they might have a weight criteria for anorexia is because otherwise the whole atkins’ing, south-beaching, weight-watching, cabbage-souping first world would suddenly fit the DSM-IV and have to examine how damaging their behaviour is to their physical and mental health.

Laura, if you haven’t already found stumptuous.com, I conditionally recommend it — ‘conditionally’ because while it is hilarious, informative, and feministically-inclined, there is still a modicum of fat hatred there…but the laughs alone are almost worth it.

I just went to stumptuous.com, since I haven’t been there in a while, and it’s gone to the Dark Side. If you go, take your SW points with you, and maybe post some comments asking her what the hell happened?

Fillyjonk, thank you, that’s the piece of logic I couldn’t put my finger on – that they are partially substituting “obesity” for “binge eating”. Not in a direct word swap, but rather that the whole premise of the research is predicated on viewing obesity as an eating disorder. *headdesk*

Also, forgot to say before, I Twittered that John Hodgman video, thank you for the link. Completely brilliant, esp. where Obama upstaged him by answering a question with simply a vulcan salute (!).

minervakoenig – yeah, I find stumptuous too fat-phobic for me. Some of the stuff on there is awful (“Look at the flab fly!” etc).

And to be honest, my amazing powerlifting coach is brilliant, totally size-agnostic. He just wants his students to lift hard, whether they’re fat or thin. I don’t really need a site, as I don’t lift in a gym, it’s more of a club atmosphere and the coach is always there. So I have no need for how-tos!

emmy: Yep. I took one look at it and thought… really? The only reason why that thing would sell is because it reduced fat women into the stereotypical “unfit, unhappy and unappealing” category; see how all of them had girlish pigtails and buns on their head? NO ONE in Singapore wears that, except for Chun-Li cosplayers.

While I have to say I can’t empathize with someone who feels they are in the wrong gendered body that they want to have surgury to fix it, I get that in America that is why they do it. You must feel pretty strongly to want to do something like that. Even if I don’t get it I am all for protecting transgendered rights, referring to them as the gender they want to be referred to, etc. You don’t have to understand it to give them the respect a human being deserves.

I get why people would be gay. That I understand. And I would think, also, that if a woman enjoyed having sex with other women or a man with other men that a surgury in their genetalia that could possible end the physical pleasure from that would not be something I would want to do. I am glad there is awareness that these surguries in Iran are often about the hatred and unacceptance of homosexuality rather than any kind of transgender rights. If they want that surgury that’s one thing, but this is really about trying to make their “difference” more acceptable, and that’s not right. Thanks for putting that awareness out there.

btw the name XX wierds me out because I only have one X, it’s called Turner’s syndrome. The fact that I have been through so much medical stuff in my life, I hope help explains my reaction towards surgeries on an otherwise physically healthy body. I have this almost wierd awe of what the body can heal from but wierdly at the same time an awareness of a body’s fragility. I took injections of growth hormone every day as a kid, had a urinary tract surgery myself in kindergarten. So it’s really my own wierd personal issue that on one hand I’m grateful for the mecial care I got but on the other hand the way I’ve related to it has given me a very strong understanding of the way I relate to my body so it’s hard for me to empathize with people who have a different kind of understanding. I love transgendered people, I hope I didn’t come off the wrong way.

You know, I was thinking about my “favorite” wardrobe pieces, and they are all tending to be things like “that pair of black slacks that sit at my waist” (and the grey ones just like them), “that short-sleeved white blouse”, “that grey 3/4 sleeve jacket”, “that black shirtdress”, “that knee-length grey skirt” and “that navy corduroy blazer”. I also have a lovely pair of black capris that I wear during the summers, and a rotating collection of tank tops from Old Navy (lots of colors and cheap!). Other stuff may rotate in, but those are my stalwarts.

BTW, I’m noticing now that all of my “stalwarts” come from either the ‘Alfani’ label from Macys, or one of the two JC Penney in-store brands. Odd, but whatever works.