As her husband, you can take the initiative and get these topics out in the open. You don’t need to “solve” the problem. Just show her how God’s word is not as restrictive as she was led to believe.

Alleviate her guilty conscience by drawing a clear line between what is good and what is sin. Do not be afraid emphasize the boundaries that God clearly commanded. But also remember the most important principle of interpreting the Bible:

Do not add to His words
Or He will reprove you, and you will be proved a liar.

5 Comments

earlthomas786
on January 31, 2018 at 11:13 am

I’m a Catholic and the good news is the church has a good frame of reference to point out why things are sins (or in the case of sexual sins ‘grave disorders’) to help point out what needs to be confessed.

1. Yes
2. Yes
3. No…you can’t control your dreams, dwelling on it is another story
4. No…but if it leads to holding out on your spouse it can lead to sin
5. No…we are all tempted…it is when you dwell on it and begin to think about acting on it that it can become a problem
6. It’s a sin to read erotica.
7. Fasting and prayer…God’s grace is what is needed to overcome temptations
8. It probably has more to do with fantazing being with a man you desire rather than being raped.
9. Prayer is always good.
10. Same sex attraction is something where prayer and fasting is encouraged. God’s grace again.

But I think it is encouraging that Christian women are concerned about sexual sins…because it seems a lot of them try to rationalize them away.

Why do these wives want to discuss these things on an online forum, but they’re unwilling to discuss these issues with their husbands?
It is their husbands opinions that really matter, not those of strangers online.
If they discussed it with their husbands, the truth would come out in the form of a confession, and their marital sex lives would improve.
But they are unwilling to do that, so they are essentially hiding their sin and feeding off of it’s dramatization in the online discussion.

True. But my point here is that online forums are a good way to guess what your wife might be thinking and proactively broach the topic. Due to the church’s silence on sexual topics, many women feel these topics are inappropriate to discuss, so they ask privately online.