What makes your horse want to be with you?

A little Swiss boy visiting us, gave me a blinding flash of the obvious yesterday (commonly known as a BFO) when he had an enormous breakthrough with our two little semi-wild cats. For the last couple of weeks he’d been trying to touch them and they had been quite jumpy around him, allowing a brief touch, but never really wanting to be with him.

Then yesterday he made the brain switch from it being all about HIM, to all about making THEM feel good. And it was like throwing a switch in them too. All of a sudden they were purring and rubbing against his hands. The joy on his little face was just gorgeous and THEIR happiness too was just lovely.

So what’s this got to do with horses?

It’s quite simple really – horses want to be with you when you make them feel good too.

And it’s difficult for them to feel really good around us unless we feel good as well.

After all this personal growth that I’ve gone through over the last 23 years that I’ve been on a path as a “healer”, the thing that I have observed is that most people don’t even know they aren’t feeling as good as they could be, until they make a breakthrough to more peacefulness, to more relaxation, even to joyfulness. Most people are living with small anxieties and tensions that are so chronic that they don’t even know that life can be different until it’s changed. I hear it all the time “Oh my God I had no idea it could feel like this!” Insert them talking about a horse experience, the release of back tension or pain, the sheer relief of following their own inner guidance, or finding the beauty of the Present moment.

That little Swiss boy didn’t know what he was missing out on – maybe he felt a kind of lack, maybe he felt “not enough”, maybe he just yearned for connection with them – I don’t know what was driving him to want to be good with those cats. But what I DO know is that never again will he be satisfied with less than purring cats wanting to be with him and enjoying their experience with him. He may even grab at them again sometimes – he may even “make a mistake”- but he’ll notice that and change that, so as to get what he and they want – which is to feel good… to feel REALLY good.

Can you see where I’m going with this?

It’s the same thing with our horses. We can feed them treats as much as we like, we can make ourselves the most important thing in their universe, we can buy them the best and latest rugs and saddles and tack, keep them in the fanciest boarding stables, we can ride them, we can make them do all kinds of clever things – but the only thing that TRULY makes them want to be with us, is feeling good.

And feeling good is why we wanted them in the first place isn’t it?

There’s a foundation of things that help a horse to feel good. Listening to them so that a two way communication is possible, so that we can understand how best to help this horse to live the routine of their lives without fear, anxiety and tension – that is an enormous step forwards to feeling better and better.

And if we DO do things with them, we need to understand how THIS horse learns best, in freedom from that fear and anxiety and tension.

And if we ride – please God SPECIALLY when we ride – we need to understand how to motivate THIS HORSE to want to do what we want them to do, without force or fear. And being stable in our riding seat and therefore precise and communicative with our bodies and our minds – when we combine that with the joy – that can make it a pleasure to carry us on their back.

And above all, if we can just understand how to help THIS horse Release their old fears and tensions from old life experiences with humans and find the healing that is possible in a deep level of mental emotional and physical well being – then THAT is a serious step into feeling good.

And here’s the big deal – to help our horse feel good, WE have to learn how to feel good too.

jennyp

Reader Interactions

Comments

Can my horse actually talk to me in a way that makes him feel so good? I share my life with Ben, a black-brown 26 year old thoroughbred and when I entered his life 4 years ago he was definitely the most fearful horse I had ever encountered! Ben’s issue was ‘trust with male humans’ and intially with me especially (being a male). Together we have come a long, long way and now we ride together around our rural roads in just a rope halter. Recently though I had been away for 2 weeks and I had been concerned for him because he currently suffers from a problem with his sheath where despite all my efforts, flies enter and lay their eggs and the ensuing fly lavae cause him significant inner discomfort. He was grazing just over a high wooden fence when I returned and I popped my head over to say hello. The moment he saw and heard me he assumed a ‘quaint position’ with his body – head low to the ground and opposite back leg cocked -very like a dog peeing on a post! Next he shifted his head to the opposite side and cocked the other back leg. Then he straightened up, walked about 10metres away, turned 180 degrees, came back and halted with his head right in front of mine . I knew from past experience that this ‘quaint position’ signalled he was experiencing sheath discomfort but never before had he played out such an explicit request for help. It was as though he was saying: ‘Dad you have been away and it’s really good to see you but please can you clean up my sheath right now’… Needless to say I immediately did so and I have to add that he is now so trusting that I can do so without any halter in the middle of the paddock. Do let me know if you have any solutions to this issue as Ben is now somewhat allergic to ‘Willy Wash’ and I have yet to find a long lasting fly repellent that will last for a week or more.

Lovely read and appropriate for Pye and his right front hoof.
Release their old fears and tensions
He is doing amazing, but with one thing he is still struggling to the point of will turn aggressive if I do not keep communicating and keep my energy low with him. Rasping his right hoof has always been an issue, I need to connect to see what his old fears and tensions are to that foot.
Thank you for the reminder.

Gosh I caught myself going “Ahh well that’s a little bit more complex hey?” Still laughing at myself here. I think that works as long as we realize that BOTH parties have to feel good – that it’s no good doing for others from an empty well – that in fact that would get the opposite result. We have to GENUINELY feel good, for us to escalate each other into more and more joyfulness. This is a bit Deep and Meaningful for a blog comment!

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