Compulsive Apologies

Compulsive Apologies

Apologizing chronically can be a sign that you are not feeling that you have much self worth.

Many people suffer with the tendency to apologize all the time, chronically, for everything. On the one hand, apologizing is a social convention that keeps interactions between people polite, and in that way it can be very helpful. On the other hand, if we find ourselves apologizing for everything, it might be time to look at why we feel compelled to say "I'm sorry" so often. Ultimately, saying you're sorry is saying that you are responsible for something that has gone wrong in the situation. Whether it's negotiating a parking spot, moving through the aisles of the supermarket, or reaching for what you want, there are times when sorry is the right thing to say. But there are other times when "excuse me" is more accurate.

Sometimes saying you're sorry is like saying that the other person in the equation has more of a right to be here than you do. Of course, it's true that using the word sorry can simply be an innocuous way of defusing tension. However, if you find that you say sorry all the time, you might want to look a little deeper and see where in your psyche that might be coming from. If it's a pattern, breaking it may simply take some awareness and practice.

The first step is observing yourself each time you say it, without being hard on yourself about it. Throughout your day simply notice when you apologize. At first, you might be surprised to see that you do it even more than you first realized. After a day or two of simply observing, try to tune in to what it is you are feeling right before you say it. You might be feeling threatened, embarrassed, intensely anxious, or a variety of other feelings. Over time, try to stop yourself before the words come out and just be with the feeling that's there. You may recognize it as one from your childhood, one that's been with you for a long time. The more you are able to see it, the freer you will be not to be sorry all the time.

DailyOM Course Spotlight

by Abi Carver

One of the reasons yoga is so effective at alleviating pain in the lower back, neck and shoulders is that it works on a number of different levels simultaneously--loosening up joint restrictions, stretching tight muscles, re-activating weak muscles, adjusting alignment, relaxing the body and calming the mind. Yoga--along with a few other simple techniques--can be really effective at relieving the pain. We can release tension, restore range of motion and re-activate weakened muscles. A regular yoga practice has the potential to prevent and heal injury, to make you stronger, fitter, more supple, to enhance your physical performance and to sharpen your mental focus. However, with everything you have to do, we know that you don't have time to find a 90-minute yoga for recovery class to attend every week. That's why Abi Carver put together this course to distill and simplify this crucial aspect of your wellbeing into 15-minute guided video practices.