Despite being a fully paid-up feminist, Emma Wall just can't get her
head around ever proposing to a man. On Valentine's Day, she explains why.

As I write this, seemingly every article on the Telegraph website is flanked by adverts for engagement rings. Not just any old rings either – ones that are identified by the colour of the box. Deep red, blue, cream.

The only unifying factor being that each slogan, video and twinkle is aimed at one half of the market, to be bought by the other. Because even in this age of supposed equal opportunity, it is still socially unacceptable for a woman to propose to a man.

“But it’s not a leap year!” I hear you cry. And you’d be right. That day, once every four years when it becomes marginally more socially acceptable for a woman to ask the man they want to spend the rest of their life with to do so. The argument is – why wait for a fluke of the Roman calendar?

Rumour has it that the engagement ring came about as a down-payment to stop naughty sailors promising to marry young woman, having their wicked way, and scarpering.

Thanks to the condom we no longer have to rely on the engagement ring to protect ourselves from children outside of wedlock.

We have had sexual and social liberation. Stay at home Dads. A second wave of non-scary feminism (thank you Caitlin Moran).

But according to a recent study by the University of California, not one of the heterosexual college students interviewed – male or female – said that they would like a proposal than included the woman on bended knee.

“If you have to ask him, he’s just not that into you,” offered my married friend M. “It is not very feminist of me but wouldn’t like to go out on a limb. Also, I think it is a case of know your own boyfriend – I know B would have hated if I’d asked, it would be emasculating and stealing his moment.”

Another male friend – affirming his single status – jokingly suggested that next us women would be wanting to vote and drive.

But before you delightful internet trolls get carried away this is not a-woe-is-me piece, I am not in a relationship and therefore this cannot be misconstrued as a nudge in the back of my feckless partner.

But at the risk of negating my entire argument, when the time comes I too hope for the traditional route.

Because despite the fact that I am a fully paid up feminist of the non-hairy armpit kind, the psychological element remains that women want to be proposed to.

We want the declaration that this man takes this woman to be his lawful wedded wife.

As one of my other (male) friends neatly put it: “Marriage is one of the last bastions of good old-fashioned romance, which can be the only reason it continues to flourish in an increasingly secular world. I believe most girls wanting a church wedding wouldn’t want the ‘right’ to propose given they are after a stylised ideal – the romantic proposal, ring, old church, flowers, white dress etc as much as what it symbolises.

“Given there is no real financial benefit to being married, other than in the event of divorce or death – which seems rather unromantic. - if the girl doesn’t want the romantic ideal or fairytale aspect of a wedding, then why bother getting married in the first place?”