DOLPHINS SHOULD REALIZE WHERE THE REAL ACTION IS

Now that Miami Dolphins owner Joe Robbie has enticed us with a big-league stadium south of the county line, a lot of people are rubbing their hands together.

These are people dreaming of the prestige, business and good fortune such a facility would bring to southwest Broward.

Charles Boyd, for one, president of the Miramar-Pembroke Chamber of Commerce, recently asked local business owners to write Robbie and let him know how much they would appreciate a stadium in the neighborhood.

This is all fine and dandy. But has anyone stopped to consider that this is a two-way football field?

Robbie and his Dolphins have much to gain by moving into the shadow of southwest Broward County. They would benefit from the area as much as the area would benefit from them.

Consider these points:

From the 160-acre Lake Lucerne site, south of Miramar, the Dolphins would be just down the road from C.B. Smith Park in Pembroke Pines. This would offer the players a quiet place to psyche up for a tough game.

They could picnic in peace, frolic on a waterslide, take a stroll, or if the mood hits, smash their tackling dummies. Try doing that anywhere within 5 miles of the Orange Bowl.

Members of Dolphin management who want easy access could fly their private airplanes into North Perry Airport in Pembroke Pines, then take a private limousine down to the game.

Not only would this allow them to escape the traffic mess at Miami International Airport, but they could flaunt their status at the same time.

Similarly, those Dolphin players arriving via horseback would find plenty of stables in Davie, which is just a hop, skip and a gallop from the proposed stadium site. Other teams, particularly the Dallas Cowboys, also would find this convenient.

During the game, the Goodyear blimp would be able to offer network audiences magnificent shots of the surrounding countryside. For instance, Country Club Ranches in Miramar has many picturesque homes, farm animals and open land.

If the network producers want something a little more spicy, the blimp's cameras could easily capture the nearby women's prison, a state mental hospital or the Sportatorium.

Try finding landmarks as interesting around that creaky old Orange Bowl.

If, for some reason, there should be a nuclear attack during a game, Nike missile site would be right around the corner. No such protection is offered anywhere as close to the Orange Bowl.

Before or after the game, the Dolphins would enjoy many fine places to dine in southwest Broward. And, good nutrition is an essential part of a winning team's strategy.

For instance, if the Dolphins' game plan calls for doing serious bodily harm to their opponents, they could have catfish for breakfast in Davie.

The players probably would have to go fishing for such a breakfast if build a stadium in Miami.

Southwest Broward would offer the players many other fringe benefits. They could buy tax-free cigarettes at the Seminole Indian Reservation west of Hollywood. They could find fresh fruits and vegetables at any number of roadside stands. They could even sniff out sweet-smelling orange groves.

Ironic, isn't it? There are not too many orange groves near the Orange Bowl in Miami, where they crown Orange Bowl queens and do other things involving citrus fruits.

One of the greatest benefits of building a stadium at Lake Lucerne would be its proximity to Weston, the giant new development south of State Road 84 -- and where Dolphins quarterback Dan Marino plans to call home.

This would allow Marino more time to sleep in the mornings. And, as we all know, a well-rested quarterback is a happy quarterback.

And, one last thing. A bunch of nice people live in southwest Broward County, many of whom would be loyal Dolphins fans to the very last. Among them, I must admit, would be yours truly.

Why, we would even support the Dolphins through a losing season. Isn't that reason enough to move next door to southwest Broward?