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I am curious about how the mental health industry invented anal sex. My school wasn't the greatest ever but I think I would have paid attention on that lecture day.

I don't think that I have conflicts about my desires towards some BDSM stuff because I am a feminist but I do worry that they conflict with some parts of me. Oddly, I know that there is some problem in that I can be lazy and what we currently do works quite well and sometimes expanding my horizons can just be a lot of work. But sometimes I am just not comfortable about the thoughts that go through my head.

Enjoying anal sex was also an invention of the male dominated mental health profession & also completely & totally anti-feminist.

this line made me laugh out loud, because my first thought was "well, i guess i've been a very bad feminist the last few days..." The Boy has totally made me love anal. i always liked it, but, damn, he really knows what he's doing... rawr

I tried out a new forum a few months back & uh, yeah, yeah a lot of people seem to have a problem with it.

I had a rather lengthy debate with a woman that was all about feminism except when it came to women making their own choices sexually. She basically painted the entire BDSM community with one gigantic brush that rendered them a cult out to recruit unsuspecting women into being sexual slaves/torture victims for the patriarchy. She was particularly incensed by rape/ravishment fantasy play & insisted that the studies done on such things were merely inventions of male psychiatrists/psychologists. Enjoying anal sex was also an invention of the male dominated mental health profession & also completely & totally anti-feminist.

I always thought feminism was about equality & being able to do whatever I want to do as a grown-ass woman. If that means kinky sex & penis in my pooter, that's my business, not Andrea Dworkin's.

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"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."

Hhmm, I did not know the conflict for people who identify as feminist and BDSM. I thought BDSM used a lot of taboo/fetish type of sex play which is different from how we act and identify in our daily lives.

Anyone have any conflicts with BDSM sex play and calling oneself a feminist?

"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve

"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve

i made an off handed comment to mr. t, and now i'm going to be her submissive for the femme high tea this sunday. just after i made the comment, mr. t informed me that she ended it with the guy she was seeing, but he's going to be subbing for her at the tea too.

up side?>fetish gear! whoot!

>i think i am going to be "treasured sub" (which means little in the way of work, and lots in the way of being treated very nicely.)

>she said there is going to be CBT involved, and, i'm hoping there is going to be some caning and other stuff too, i'm not much for pain, so i'm not probably not even gonna get a spanking (also yay!) but the important thing is, i get to do tag team domming w/mr.t, which, i LOVE. i swear, she and i make the best dommes together. i get to be super sweet, which i love, whisper sweet nothings and talking dirty in the sub's ear, tease them and warm them up, scoring their skin, and pressing pressure points with a sweet smile on my face, while daddy beats the living daylights out of them. last time we did it was at a birthday party, for a heavy masochist, and the attendees hard core dom/mes and subs, i mean, a lot of the heavy hitters in portland. we walked away as the favorites, and our friends down there still talk about what we did.

>possible new play dates. daddy and i never really played publicly, neither of us was really that into the scene up here, although g had all the connections so we met/knew most of the heavy hitters up here. all that's changed, and mr. t plays more now that she's lost weight. i don't play all that much now that i'm single, but i like having enough of a reputation that i can get someone good to play with, and every time i play i seem to find a new puppy!

downside?>mr.t/daddy and i have been broken up for a year, and i really don't want to back slide. now that she's single again too, i'm afraid the pull of our connection might tempt me. she emailed me about feeing and i still get shivers every time she mentioned it. there's a LOT of pull there.

>i wonder if she's gonna play me off of her ex/boy. i'm not/haven't been jealous of him. he did things that i was just not into/interested in (hardcore anal fisting? even the non hardcore variety. no fank you.) what's more i'm really in a place i need to be.

>my fetish ankle boots. goddamn i love them, but fuck they hurt. {sigh} why couldn't i be a masochist?

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"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve

"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve

Although... MMM nothing sexier than a hawt boy with a studded collar chained to the bedpost. That turned us both on SO much. (The Princess Leia and Jabba scene, I always thought I wanted to be Leia. How funny CAN life be.) The chain is loose so he can move around, but it's there. He has to ask permission to take it off.

Damn I don't know whether to cry or to wank.

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Every story is a cup so empty it can be drunk from again and again. - MJH

So now the pain of not having Da Hands on me is kind of subsiding (thank you dear health food store near me for carrying 5-HTP) I can start thinking of what happened. After a few weeks of this, I was beginning to have an idea what really turns me on and what I was just trying out to see how he would react. So I have a question:Is there a Taken In Hand relationship where the roles are reversed, anyone? I think I'm not into pain* as much as into the role reversal thing.

(*ETA: I feel it takes a LOT of skills and practice to know how to give pain and ride the arousal vs damage line and I didn't have that time/ didn't want to be learning on a man I was falling in love with)

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Every story is a cup so empty it can be drunk from again and again. - MJH

Is a non-BDSM relationship not about the consensual exchange of power? Like, the Rules, where you don't kiss/have sex/ aren't available till such and such date - isn't that BDSM?

I agree with GT that with BDSM there is more explicit play with power dynamics. Power dynamics happen in all relationships, but, I think the difference amongst relationships is how power is distributed and managed.

QUOTE

Also, dear gt, dear busties, understand, I am off-the-boat(ish) from a culture where there is NO political correct anything and NO "my space" and "your space" and NO habit/ tradition of examining a statement for a scrapy second side and where till 15 years ago even gay people *did not exist*. So, yes, and I am trying and I am learning but please be patient Ok?

you post what you feel comfortable with. if you need to take it down, then do. the lounge is kind of a confessional to a lot of busties. that's why we don't really want direct linking to things people say here. but this thread is perfectly fine for all kinds of kink, self discovery or even gender identity discussions. the general rule is to post where you think it fits best, if a bustie thinks that there is a better place they will let you know. but people can talk about things or questions in other threads if they think it germane.

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"what a swell farewell party! we said goodbye to everything, including the lining in my stomach." - garvey, from the film, born bad

"That's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted." --margo channing, all about eve