t.A.T.u. were on MTV’s Total Request Live earlier today and to nobody’s surprise proved to be the interview from hell with their one-word answers and failure to comprehend questions — half of their answers were “what?” — from an increasingly upset Quddus. Afterwards, they did pull off a spirited non lip-synched performance of ‘All the Things She Said’ with Damien saying afterwards “Not only recording artists but make-out artists as well.” The pair also managed to slip by their t-shirts which said “Fu** War” in Russian. Read on for the lopsided transcript. TRL: Give it up for T.A.T.U!

[ Cheers and applause ]

TRL: Here you go, ladies. Wow, one of them is delirious. She’s delirious. What took you ladies so long back there?

Tatu: What?

TRL: What took you ladies so long back there? We were waiting out here

TRL: Come over here.

Tatu: We were what?

Tatu: What?

TRL: Everybody loves you.

TRL: All right. Welcome to America as well.

Tatu: Thank you.

Tatu: Thank you.

TRL: I know you’re from Russia. I know a lot of — all right, calm down! We have to talk to the ladies here. Got to find out about them.

Tatu: Okay.

TRL: Something a lot of people are curious about —

Tatu: Go, go, go, no, no no!

TRL: I don’t know what we’re doing here. But I’ll attempt to do this interview anyway. A lot of people are curious about your name. T.A.T.U. Is what does it stand for?

Tatu: Tattoo.

Tatu: It’s tattoo.

Tatu: It means that this girl loves this girl.

TRL: Gotcha. See how it works? Question and answer, beautiful.

TRL: Learn a new thing every day. Let’s talk a second for the album. Your album is huge all over the world. But how hard is it to translate the Russian songs for an English-speaking album.

Tatu: We didn’t translate our song. They — they were made by another people. So it wasn’t really hard.

TRL: Oh, really? How hard was it to learn English?

Tatu: For me?

TRL: Yeah.

Tatu: I started to learn English from 3 years old. So —

TRL: Great. Very cool.

TRL: All right.

TRL: Here’s the deal. I’m seeing you guys —

TRL: Can you feel the love? Can you feel the love? Oh, yes. See, we do that all the time around here. See. Look at that. Look at that. Just like that.

TRL: Baby, baby. Now, you guys — all right. Let’s talk about this for a little bit. You guys are —

TRL: Playful girls, i love ’em.

TRL: We’re seeing you guys a lot in the newspaper. You guys are causing quite a controversy here. How do you deal with all the gossip about you guys?