Tom Brady is an Incredible Dancer

“I said, ‘I like my ‘jitos in a soda cup!’ Is this humidity making my hair look bad?”

If you haven’t seen it by now, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was caught on camera dancing during Carnival yesterday while watching Gisele Bundchen ride by on a float. Now, I’m not going to criticize the man’s skills because I’m white and have exactly one move where I pretend I’m humping a really tall giraffe, but I don’t see how anyone can sack him again without getting a phone call from the Matthew Shepard Foundation. There’s no way that’s not a hate crime.

Exactly!!! She makes headlines, sure, but she’s not really likeable. Always sounding like she needs to get over herself. And there are lots and lots of women in Brazil who are waaaay prettier than she is, I’ll tell you that. She’s not really that popular in Brazil as one might think.

If you asked me ten years ago if a woman could turn the MVP of the Superbowl into a gay dancing machine, I would have said it could never happen. From this day forward, I vow that I will never say never.