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Are there letter writers you wonder about to this day? While I’m away, readers nominate some who
stayed in mind.

Dear Carolyn: Both of our sons came home for Thanksgiving. We put up our older son and his
family in a hotel; and had our younger son, his new (second) wife and their baby stay in our guest
room.

How I wish I had switched. On Friday morning, the new wife said she had bug bites. I said that
twice in the past I’d had bites, too, and thought they were from bedbugs. We had done Internet
searching and gone to my dermatologist and discovered that bedbugs are not medically dangerous and
not the result of uncleanliness. We gave her hydrocortisone and sympathized with her.

That evening, they moved into the hotel. Our son said his wife was absolutely adamant that they
get out of our home. She has the reputation of being a “strong” woman, and she earns a very high
income, so she is always able to get her way.

My husband and I felt embarrassed and disappointed that she reacted that way, but we are aware
that a first-time 45-year-old mother probably had mother-bear hormones at play, and we don’t blame
our son for giving in to her demands.

But what did that accomplish? She washed everything they’d brought in hot water. My husband
thinks she threw away their suitcases.

Our relationship with her is significantly impaired, and she wants me to tell her she did the
right thing. I think she overreacted. Does this portend more trouble down the road?

— Anonymous

Dear Anonymous: Expect more trouble — but not just because of your daughter-in-law.

Unless she’s oblivious, your contempt registered. Either find a way to like her, find a way to
respect her or get used to tension.

And summon a little respect for the position in which you put this family. Bedbugs might not be “
medically dangerous,” but they’re a repulsive nuisance.

I know you meant no harm. But you’re blaming her for the fallout, and you’re making that mistake
with ill will.

Instead: Call your son; admit you were cavalier about the possible infestation; apologize for
exposing them to a headache they don’t need, especially with a baby; offer to pay for any treatment
that their home might need; and get your home inspected by a reputable specialist. You can’t expect
his wife to drop her dukes until you drop your own.