Sunday, September 27, 2009

I can't tell you how many people have said that to me. It's almost the first thing people say when they find out I've joined Club Cancer.

I wonder how they know I caught it early? Do they have special powers to see through my body back to when that first cell mutated? "Ah ha! April 2nd, 2009, your normal cells just started dividing abnormally. Thank goodness you found it so quick!"

I should be flattered that all these people think I'm a responsible adult who got her regular mammograms, and thus naturally assumed that I found this cancer at the first possible moment.

They clearly have no idea who I really am: an unfocused, ADD-type person who will do just about anything to avoid discomfort, if she can even remember why she was supposed to be uncomfortable in the first place.

The fact is, it had been years since my last mammogram. In an earlier post, I explained my rationale for the delay, which still still seems quite reasonable to me. I also did not realize just how long it had actually been - I mean, I remember the last one like it was yesterday so in my unfocused mind, it had been pretty recent. Of course, I'd do things differently now, given the power to see into the future. Although, even with those powers, I'd probably get distracted by something else and forget to go.

Oh look! A bird!

The point is, that sucker could have been dividing for many years. Most breast cancers have been growing for two to five years before they are found. In breast cancer years - based on size - mine's a teenager ready for keys to the car, and not an infant cuddled under the blankets.

"At least you caught it early." I'm not quite sure how to respond to that comment.

I don't think I caught it early. But, I am hoping I caught it early enough.

Everyone always asked me, "Did you catch it early?" I never knew what to say, because I simply didn't know. The lump was quite big. 3.2 cm. And I always wondered, "Jees. Did I miss it for that long, or did it grow that quickly?" Neither idea seemed all that comforting, not really. Finally a couple weeks ago in Pittsburgh, a doctor said that it was detected early because it had not gone into the lymph nodes, had just started to invade the ducts. Now I have an answer. Nobody's asking any questions. Seems to be how it goes.

Good morning Ann. I read your blog this morning and want to commend you for your honesty and bravery. This journey is something else, isn't it? I had a bilateral mastectomy in Jul 09 and have three chemo's left, one will be this Wednesday. I am going to link to you. I hope that we can share thoughts as we travel this less loved road together. I am a Stage 1, Grade 3, Triple Negative BC patient. Good luck to you. Stay positive and ask LOTS OF QUESTIONS! If you don't, they won't offer answers.

Ann, my diagnosis was Stage IIIb from the beginning (now revised to Stage IV with extensive bone mets). I *did* get a mammogram every 12-18 months. I got ultrasounds in between those times. I followed up on every single lump, usually within three months, due to the cyclical nature of lumps. In other words, I was pretty much the poster child for "doing it right."

My lump ended up being 5cm+ fissure . . . like a flower, not a lime. Pretty big. Regardless of that . . . people STILL said, "Oh, at least they caught it early." Uh, no. Stage IIIb is not early.

People just don't know what to say. They especially don't know what to say now that I'm where I am. I get all kinds of questions like, "How could this happen?" If I knew the answer to that, I'd win the Nobel Prize!

Ann, your blog and writing skills are incredible. You say things with flair, and just what I am thinking. I let my mammograms go forever and ignored the dreaded "nipple changes" just because I could. So when I finally went to my primary md and he took a look he freaked out, announced I had "a malignancy" and scared me to death. I was diagnosed with paget's breast disease and dcis and although it was high grade I was on of the fortunate ones. When I read stories like yours (and I still reading) I don't know why. I felt like I played hard and fast with my life and just knew I was going to be a late stage-I like you felt chest pain and bone pain until it was all clear-took over a month to get a dx. My thoughts and (yes) prayers are with you and your family.

I had a "perfect" mammogram just a few months before I was diagnosed with IIIB inflammatory breast cancer. No lump. I had an innocent looking rash appear just days before an already scheduled doctor's appointment for something else. I got so sick of "did they catch it early?" Ranks right up there with "didn't you get your mammograms?" and "at least breast cancer is easy to treat these days." Oh, and let's not forget, "hey, you'll get a free boob job out of it." Something many people do not realize is there are many differences in breast cancers. One lump might pretty much mind it's own business and just slowly grow for years while another spreads like wildfire in a matter of weeks.

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About Me

I live with metastatic breast cancer. .
I was diagnosed 2009 with Stage 2 Her2+ breast cancer. Mastectomy followed, 6 rounds of chemo and a year of herceptin. A few months after I finished, cancer was found in my liver-incurable. I've done chemo after chemo, has my liver partially removed and did cyber knife radiation. Like all metsters, I'll be on treatment until I die.
I'm a former High School Secretary, wife, and mother of two great sons.
To read my entire cancer story, go to www.butdoctorihatepink.com and find the post called "What the heck is that?" on September 2, 2009, or look at the top of the blog and click on "chronological posts". (Some issues with the feed on that but it will get you started). If you are a blogger who can give me a link, I'd appreciate it very much. To email me, click on my profile and you'll find a email addy. I answer every email from a cancer patient. Also like my Facebook page, www.facebook.com/Facebook. I'm butdoctorihatepink on Instagram and @butdocihatepink on Twitter. Like me while you can!