Part 50: Special Missions - The Silent Tyranny of the Ever Alert Mei Ling!

Alright. Let's jump right back into it, shall we? Time for Special Missions of the Stage 2 variety. As you'll recall, Stage 2 is where we first spoke with Chris Jenner and... err... Well, that's about it. Let's get crackin'!

"Not being discovered is one of the basic rules of infiltration.""I mean unless you are some sort of Cyborg Ninja. My records show there is a 99.3% probability that you are not." "Clear this stage without being spotted once by the enemy."

So another basic one. We just need to redo the entire stage without being spotted. A task which I already accomplished once the first time, thank you very much!

Stage 2 - Mission 2

"...up. Meet the enemy's frontal assault and clear the stage.""Frontal assault...?" "ATTENTION! All GLF soldiers within earshot! SOLID SNAKE is trying to sneak in. He's just coming out of the JUNGLE and trying to sneak into the SERVICE ENTRANCE! You'd better put a button on that!" "Full Alert! Everyone! 50,000 General Bucks to the man who kills the 'Legend'." "....." "...Do I at least get a weapon...?" "During Solid Snake's infiltration into Galuade, he secured a handgun in the area we have designated as 'Stage 1'." "...But this is 'Stage 2'..." "...So it is. Well, good luck with that."

So for this stage, the Alert Phase is immediately sounded and never goes away. As such there are infinitely spawning guards gunning for Snake on every single screen for the entire stage. This sort of sucks. Especially if guards get close to Snake. Did I ever mention guards in Ghost Babel have a gun whip attack? Probably not since... well... I never got any Alerts during the main playthrough. Well, guards in Ghost Babel have a gun whip attack if Snake gets close. If it connects, Snake is knocked on his ass and stunned for a second. Snake's invincible frames also last roughly a second. So in other words, if more than one guard is around they can and will stun-lock Snake with rifle butts to the face until he is dead.

Kind of a shitty design oversight...

"I'll let you in on something Snake didn't know. At the time of the Delta Force team's termination at the hands of Black Chamber, Chris Jenner, instead of fighting with her unit, was looking for data on Project Babel in Galuade's central computer. As you know, she didn't find anything; the 'General' is a cautious man. What she did find instead were the bodies of her comrades.""Apparently that Marionette Owl fellow from Black Chamber had called 'dibs' on the corpses. I'll just leave the reasoning behind that to your imagination..."

Stage 2 - Mission 3!

"It seems that Mei Ling wants to talk to you. Humor her, will you?""What... Like the real one or the VR Simulation...?" "Why don't you ask her yourself..."

"I'll wait for you at the northern end of this stage, in front of Galuade's main gates. Hurry."

Okay. Simple enough. We need to go meet Mei Ling at the northernmost part of the stage. StarFighter76, I'm gonna mark all over you map. I'm not sure if this falls under fair use of GameFAQs copyright claims. Please don't be sue, bro!

So it's a pretty healthy jog across the real estate. However, when we arrive Mei Ling is nowhere to be found. We're not really given a lot of an indicator here. But we're supposed to call her back up to see what the deal is with Mei Ling's absence.

140.96 is tuned into the Codec and...

"The traffic's really bad... But I'm at the south service entrance to Galuade now. Yep, the door that the enemy lets you in through. I'm really sorry, but could you come meet me?"

Okay... So now we basically need to turn around and go right back the way we came...

So all the way back to two screens away from the stage start we go and... no Mei Ling. Okay, maybe she's nearby...

"I'm inside a truck on the west end of this stage. Come and get me soon."

Alright... By "truck on the west side" she means "truck on the northwest side across the damn base again".

This is the same truck we picked up the Level 1 Keycard. And... No Game Save girl... The fuck?

"Sorry. You know how stuffy trucks can get, right? So I popped out for some fresh air, now I'm in front of the Armored Personnel Carrier. Why don't you come over here?"

Okay Mei Ling. You are starting to piss me off now. You're lucky I'm doing a LP and I can go look at old screenshots to figure out where the hell this stupid APCs are located...

Goddammit, woman! Can you not be where you say where you are going to be...?

"It's a small place outside the southeast wall. No one will find us here. Hurry over!"

Alright. There'd better be some 8-bit tits as a reward at this point. This is getting STUPID!

The next stop is back where we got the suppressor for the pistol. Which I do not think I fired once the entire game. However now, I do believe I am putting a bullet between Mei Ling's eyes. WHERE ARE YOU?!

"I told you, the room with a + shaped pipe! ...What? A small room outside the southeast wall? No way, did I say that? ...Well, whatever. Anyway I'm in the room with a + shaped pipe, so get over here."

...A room with a plus shaped pipe? The hell? You expect me to remember what was in this copy and pasted empty bunkers all over? Oh fuck you forever, lady! FOREVER!

Goddamn no good bullshit BASTARD! I was JUST there!

Dead! You're fucking dead when I find you!

"Forgot something and had to go back for it. Okay... I'm at the goal of this stage, the entrance to the ducts -- so let's just meet here."

The time of your undoing is at hand, save woman. Paramedic was way better at your shitty 4th wall breaking job anyway.

Son of a...

"...tell you. I'm actually, like..."

"Voice impersonation is one of my twenty-eight crowd-pleasing skills. Impressive, wasn't it?""I hate you... so... so much..." "Inspiring hate is one of my thirty-two riot and general civil unrest inducing skills." "Remember that patience is one of the qualities of a good soldier.""Plus, one can never been too prepared for being paired with a difficult mission support analyst. Quirky passive-aggressive fonts of pseudo-intellectual babble. Cinephiles. Difficult girlfriends. Anime otakus. They come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes a soldier just wants to save a game in peace, you know...?"

"You'll find out soon enough. Continue with your training.""Kick. Punch. Is it truly all in your mind...?"