If, by "the other expletive" you mean the gay equivalent to the "n" word, then I would strongly disagree with your assessment. It is an offensive word, and should be socially unacceptable just like the "n" word is today.

It's not going to happen, though, at the moment people use "******" as an offensive term rather than an actual description of sexual orientation. While with "n*****" it was actualally used in a racist sense against black people, "******" is rarely used in a homophobic sense against homosexuals.

Homophobia is as bad as racism, as you say, but ****** is primarily a misused, if crude, insult rather than an actual homophobic term.