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The following is a collection of 35 of my notes, tweets, and aimless thoughts as well as quotes from my friends, family, and Tumblr that I’ve cherished.

Inspired by Blaise Pascal’s Pensées, which is essentially just a bunch of this one guy’s random thoughts thrown together in a book and yet is considered a philosophical and theological masterpiece. Amazing.

It’s 3:18am.

1

“I don’t normally like to use the word ‘fail’, but some people are failures.”

2

Elysia: “What’s this meat called?”
Dad: “It’s called Salisbury steak”
Elysia: “Oh, I have a classmate named Emma Salisbury!”
Andrea: “This is her sister.”

5

Sometimes when I don’t hear what someone says to me, I laugh a little, smile, then nod and hope it’s an adequate response

6

“Killing someone is the fastest way to end a relationship.”
–From Omnibus class, out of context

7

You know the fam is real when all the cousins block each other on Instagram

8

Old woman at the dental office: “before you marry someone, look through their birth records and family history so you know what kind of a mess you’re getting into. I wish I did that with my husband–now look at me. It’s too late.”

9

“VPSA is like the Christian Mingle of homeschooling”
–Harry

10

If anything is a blessing it’s the “clear search history” option on Facebook and Instagram

11

“#1 rule in life: always understand what a girl means even if she doesn’t say it right.”
–Margaret

12

Mate listed: another word for friend-zoned

13

Can you bring a basket of coconuts as a personal item on a flight?

14

Idea: Pick Allison up from the airport with a sign that says “Welcome Back Home from Prison, Allison”

15

“Just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot.”
–Tumblr

16

“I may be trash, but I’m high quality trash. Premium trash. Grade A trash. The kind of trash your mom would look at and say “should this be recycling?” Yeah I’m that kind of trash.”
–Tumblr

17

“From the moment I laid eyes on the Helvetica size-ten font of your name on my computer screen, I knew we were going to be friends.”
–Allison

18

Tell Sam Wright to marry a girl whose last name is Wong so he could joke to her parents: “Two Wongs make a Wright!”

19

What’s the smallest size a bedroom can be before it’s considered a closet?

20

“good morning you beautiful ray of sunshine you, you light up my life brighter than Nero’s great fire lit up the night skies of Rome”

21

“Hey girl, do you live in a cornfield? Cause I’m stalking you”

22

tbh I really love the smell of Ikea

23

I don’t understand how people expect me to make proper turns when driving when I can’t even walk around the house without slamming into corners

24

“The most beautiful trip I’ve ever made was to the mirror”
–My sister

25

Whoever said “if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all” has clearly never read an Apologia science textbook

26

Sometimes I like to look into my rearview mirror at the driver in the car behind me and play a guessing game called “are they rapping or talking on the phone?”

27

To all the people who have their read receipts on: I appreciate you

28

Sam, during his Organic Chemistry presentation: “Erica, I wasn’t able to Photoshop you onto a fruit, but I was able to Photoshop fruit onto you”
Mrs. Weber: “Please let this be appropriate”

29

Why are bread bowls just for soup? Why can’t they be for everything?

30

“Are you watching Catching Fire?”
“No, but I’d like to watch you catch fire”

31

Allison and I accidentally texted the wrong number and the conversation ended with “hey guys, add me on fb, would love to get to know you both”

32

“I like my men like I like my Word documents–saved”

33

“It is very unattractive to me when a man mispronounces a major theologian’s name”
–Veronica on ‘How Not to Win Over VPSA Girls 101’

34

“synthesis. I love synthesis.”
“1 pear a day is fine. 20 pears a day is not fine.”
“my middle name is subtle. Sharon Subtle.”
“u guys r morbid”
“Allison, if you cry then you’re in trouble.”
“hold on, geese are flying by and Moses is barking.”
“this may be the last time I will ever say pentane again”

35

“Veronica, you beautiful and wonderful woman. Your eyes shine as though the sun itself inhabits the space behind your eyelashes. your smile sings to me like a chorus of angels. your hair flows like a flock of goats running down a mountainside. your womb is fertile and lush, your hands soft and tender.”
-Allison Rerick, to Veronica Andreades