How to be your own best coach

Our lives are made up of us telling ourselves stories, it’s not a sign of madness, just what we all do all the time. We have thoughts about what may happen in the future, what has already happened and how you would like things to go. What we like, what we don’t – we judge ourselves and others.

If you said to your friends what you say to yourself – would you have any? Harsh but often true.

What makes you your own best coach is the quality of those conversations you have with yourself. Now just take a moment and ask yourself – those stories, thoughts, and conversations you have with yourself. Are they good quality, are they useful, are they taking you to the place you want to be.

If the answer is no to any of the above, then you need to have a conversation with yourself about what needs to change.

Exercise. Grab a piece of paper and a pen:

Question one - what qualities make a great coach? Think of someone you hold in esteem for their abilities to encourage and empower others.

Question two - what would you like to hear right now from the most fabulous coach that ever existed? Think about those things that you really need to here right now.

Questions three - what do you need to hear from your future wiser, self - right now? If you could transport yourself five years into the future, what words of wisdom would your future wiser say to yourself right here and now?

The answers should be something that you would find yourself saying to your best friend, not necessarily fluffy, some of the words below may be a little alien to some of us, they are the words a coach would use so adopting them becomes self-empowering:

compassionate

encouraging

honest

trusting

congruent

kind

genuine

empowering

Using these questions result in some very honest feedback, you know yourself better than anybody else – your strengths and weaknesses and how you can sabotage your own success. It is often said that we are our own worst enemy but the good news is that you have more influence over yourself, your thoughts and your conversations than anybody else does and it is absolutely your choice to make a difference to your own outcomes.

About the author

Having spent the vast majority of my adult life not really knowing how to be resilient to life's ups and downs I discovered NLP, hypnotherapy and coaching. I've found this invaluable in my own life, that of those around me from being a friend, a partner and a parent. I'm humbled to be able to help others get the life they want like I have.