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I have 2mm Bamboo needles. I thought metal ones might be a bit hard on the old hands. They do resemble long toothpicks though and bend alarmingly. The start of the gloves now seems a reasonable width.

I did have to go on a bit of a trek to get them and by the time I got back I was pretty much too tired to do much more than throw together some salad for dinner. I did get some fabulous seeded oatcakes from Your Piece. I don’t see the 5 seed ones there, but they are very, very tasty. I also got some Vignotte and some really gorgeous *proper* cheddar – not the plastic wrapped stuff.

Got the new printer, it’s all installed and I even used to to print this afternoon.

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Lots of discussion on capability this past week, a lot of things that were said struck chords to varying degrees.

I’m not a well person, and I don’t just mean right now. Over the years I have suffered from depression, anxiety, post viral fatigue (many times), vertigo, and then there’s the ongoing trouble with endometriosis which I’ve suffered with since I was in my teens. I also have allergies and a herniated lumbar disc….. None of these things are life threatening, but they have all been (and some still are) life limiting.

Right now I’m suffering with undiagnosed pain, we dunno what is causing it. Some days, things are pretty OK. I’ve even, in the last 2 weeks, had 2 mainly pain free days (without resorting to pain pills). Some days are really bad, I take the pills and take to the sofa with a duvet. Then there are the in between days, the days where the pain is there but I can ignore it a bit. I pace myself, I put off taking pain pills so that I can still function properly. The diclofenac builds up in my system, so one day of taking them isn’t bad but by the third day, I’m pretty much a sleepy space cadet, the codeine, these days mostly makes me feel sick, which the pain does as well..

Some days I can do stuff, some days I can’t. Some days I can face seeing/talking to people, some days I can’t. It does make it pretty hard to be friends, nobody is ever sure if you will be able to do stuff, arranging to do stuff is difficult as nobody including yourself knows how you will be feeling on any given day. People can also just assume that you won’t be able, so they don’t ask you to do stuff at all.

Today, I am grateful for the spur of the moment invitation to meet up with someone, that they asked knowing full well I might have to say no, but still asked I’m also grateful that I was able to go. I think I might try not to concentrate so much on the things I can’t do, I’d much prefer to enjoy the things that I can.

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I’m still trying to get things organised properly after changing the living room. So much stuff got piled in the bedroom, the laundry got left to wash itself (didn’t work), and I ate lots of *bought* meals (as opposed to cooked meals). This lack of useful activity was compounded by my normal Endo pain which lasted over the weekend.

Today was mostly laundry, which helped clear space in the bedroom so I could get started in there. Bed needs changed and there is one more load to go in the machine, then I’ll dust & vacuum. Pile of mending can go on to the shelves, instead of sitting on top of the chest of drawers.. doesn’t mean I’ll get round to fixing those hems or buttons any sooner, but it looks tidier. Tomorrow I’ll also empty & take out the bins. It might almost be like a real person lives here after that.

Knitting has NOT been going so well up until today. I started numerous projects and frogged all of them. My head was still pretending it was full of mince. I finally managed today, on try #4, to work all the set up and 1 pattern repeat of Arabella by Kristen Hanley Cardozo, Number 4 mainly because I got a little lost and when I tried to frog back to my lifeline I snagged and snapped the yarn. I bought the double package of Kristen’s shawl patterns, and might use my Precious 4 ply for a Clothilde. I have also made a little headway on my cardi for Tor, she saw my Not Just Noro in the flesh (much nicer than the pictures) and wants one.. did I tell you all this before? Like I said head has been mince, so I apologise for any repeating.

Over the past few days I’ve cast on and frogged SO much knitting, mainly due to a total lack of concentration on my part (adding or missing yos). Rather than mangle any really lovely yarn, I’m now using the free Colourmart Yarn I got with a YF sub. It’s nice, it’s merino, but it was free and therefore I’m not getting as cross with myself for mangling small amounts of it.

I have lot’s of pictures to put up here and on Ravelry, but the camera is far… and I am being feeble. I am considering seeing if taking painkillers and more coffee might make for a more surreal, but less painful day, but again that means getting up off the sofa. Yup, you know it’s a bad day when you are feeling too hurty to go get the pain pills…. wonder if I have any stashed in my handbag it, at least, is in feeble flailing distance.