Coaching

California may very well be the cradle of the “spiritual but not religious” movement, if you can call it a movement. Many of us are are more inclined to spend our weekends hiking or mountain-biking than in a church, synagogue or mosque. And we are not alone. The Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life recently reported that the fastest growing group among Americans — a whopping one in five adults and one third of those under age 30 — is those who report no religious affiliation. “I attend the church of the blue dome,” said a friend of a friend recently....

Last weekend I completed the Bike MS Waves to Wine ride — the longest cycling event of my life — and I raised nearly $4000 for the MS Society. I feel strong and happy and proud. (I hesitate to admit that I feel proud, because my good New England upbringing taught me not to get “too big for my britches,” but I do. Yay, me!) But what comes next, now that I have reached my goal? As I’ve been thinking, talking, and writing about effective goal setting, I haven’t addressed the crucial followup question: what’s next? When you are working toward a goal,...

A friend of mine recently asked, “Do you find that the people who most need coaching can least afford it?” and it got me thinking about money and about the value of coaching. The question of what you can afford it highly subjective and value-laden. Look at any budget — your own or the government’s (okay, maybe you don’t want to look at that) — and you will find choices and priorities based on implicit or explicit values. One person who can “afford” to spend 30% more on organic products may not feel she can “afford” a $100/month gym...

One of the first things we do in a coaching relationship — whether it is career coaching, leadership development, team coaching, or personal life coaching — is set goals. Like most coaches, I encourage my clients to (1) be very specific about their goals, (2) make them measurable (how will you know if you have succeeded?), (3) set a time limit, (4) identify what actions will move them toward their goal, and (5) relate their goal to their values, so that it inspires and motivates them. It is the last element that is the true engine of achieving your goal. As an example, I will...

One of the first questions I ask new and prospective clients is “what do you want?” More often than not, the answer is: “I don’t know,” or “I’m not sure.” The first phase of coaching then focuses on clarifying what the client wants so that he or she can begin to move forward with change. If you, too, are dissatisfied and having a hard time figuring out what you want, here are some coach’s tips to help you answer your big question. 1. Listen to yourself. Separating what you want from what you think you should want or what others want for...

Today I’m writing about the ways in which we stop ourselves from pursuing what we want: resistance in all its forms. Sometimes it is personified as our gremlin, saboteur, or negative voice that tells us that we are not capable of doing or creating what we want or that we don’t deserve it. Sometimes resistance looks like a long to do list that includes so many urgent tasks that we never get around to the really important stuff like starting our business or writing our novel (or blog!). Other times it is the whisper of procrastination “I’ll start my [diet/work-out...