Like a Mermaid – Only Manlier!

So my buddy Greg Johnson is judging this week, he’s pretty, he’s from Florida and swam with manatees, early explorers thought manatees were merfolk, so it just makes sense. I’m short on time this week and I’m relatively confident most of you know what a Merman is but just in case here’s some info from wikipedia –

“Mermen are mythical male equivalents and counterparts of mermaids – legendary creatures who have the form of a male human from the waist up and are fish-like from the waist down, having scaly fish tails in place of legs.

In Greek mythology, mermen were often illustrated to have green seaweed-like hair, a beard, and a trident. In Irish mythology, mermen are described as extremely ugly creatures with pointed green teeth, pig-like eyes, green hair, and a red nose. In Finnish mythology, a merman (vetehinen) is often portrayed as a magical, powerful, handsome, bearded man with the tail of a fish. He can cure illnesses, lift curses and brew potions, but he can also cause unintended harm by becoming too curious about human life. The boto of the Amazon River regions is described according to local lore as taking the form of a human or merman, also known as encantado (“enchanted one” in Portuguese) and with the habit of seducing human women and impregnating them. Chinese mermen were believed to only surface during storms or, in some cases, were believed to have the ability to cause storms.

The actions and behavior of mermen can vary wildly depending on the source and time period of the stories. They have been said to sink ships by summoning great storms, but also said to be wise teachers, according to earlier mythology. Mermen, just like mermaids, can lure and attract humans with their enchantingly beautiful, soft melodic and seductive siren-like singing voices and tones.”

Our Judge this week was Mr Greg Johnson, My freckle faced friend from florida who claims to be able to ride a unicycle, I’ve still never seen it, but most of us can agree he looks good while presenting his case.

“Apologies in advance” – Ha! you know for all the things you can apologize for in life… putting an eel wiener on a merman shouldn’t have to be one of ’em! That being said I read “the Deep” when i was way too young and have always been terrified of morays so lets just focus on where his forehead went?

Judge’s Commentary

– “Having spent much of my youth both above and beneath the sea and coming in close contact with more than one moray eel buried deep in its coral home, I often wondered exactly how the eels anchored themselves in search of their next meal…it all makes perfect sense now. This particular merman clearly hails from the royal bloodline of Triton. Having trained his organ to become a multi-disciplinary tool wielding the power to provide nourishment on many levels ”

Oh man this one got me pretty good! Like an elegant little sea horse he is! and the staff or seaweed of lady parts or whatever he’s anchored to/holding is kind of amazing, I can only hope the ovaries magically glow in the deep of the sea…

Judge’s Commentary

– “It’s said that most mermen lure women with their soft melodic and seductive voices, this particular androgynous specimen appears to have taken on the role of both carrier and fertilizer of his offspring…aligning more closely with his distant relatives, the seahorse. What remains a mystery is whether the female reproductive organs are part of his staff or the result of merman genetic modifications to the kelp beds producing ‘pleasure stations’ from the ocean floor for his mer-colony ”

Dammit! it’s not often that a submission makes me think i think I have to redraw before i scan… And by no means a slight on the beautiful, perfectly pink and loving portrayal of our Slim Jim saviour, and the high corner of the cage jumping, Sarasota living, younger brother of the one, the only, Leaping Lanny Poffo!… Three cheers for Downers Grove! Ha!

Judge’s Commentary

– It’s hard to picture a manlier water spirit than the deep sea legend of the “Macho Merman” …some say that you can even hear his signature “Oooh yeah!” if you listen closely enough to the conch shell’s trailing sigh

So if that shark were to swim really fast in one direction would he immediately fly back from where he came? get it cause he’s all boomeranged… I kind of like to attribute the captions to the wrong characters on this one too, gives it an interesting feel!

So thank the beasts for erasers! Lucha Libre outfit replaced with 1800s strong man motif and I think the world is better for it… I mean your ass ends up stuck under a 1000lbs block of brain coral who you gonna call, the leopard skin sling top, fish tailed guy with the guns or Harry Eelweiner?

Aww so romantical! I like that he has ripped male parts but such tender eyes and what could possibly be construed as an ample child bearing fish part and don’t think I’m just going to ignore your fancy ass string bound sketchbook!

So my wife and I have argued for years about the googly eyed goldfish, mostly I’m agin ’em but when they help hold a little wet newsboy cap on ,I gotta say I suddenly understand, beautifully done but humorously, my favorite part is the chest hair!

Ha looks a lil like he just swam into a starfish! Definitely the longest “Sean” we’ve seen to date, or maybe it’s one of those water causing an optical illusion things and that is quite the low rise fish bottom… sexy… ha!

So spoiler alert on this one, it’s drawn by a young ‘un, and you know how you can tell? Cause his imagination has no freaking limits… When’s the last time you’ve drawn a beast with three arms on one side balanced perfectly with a single arm and a freaking cannon… yeah kinda what i thought!

So years ago, when some of us designed galleries for adult magazines, there was what we coined “PugButt” a style of shooting, very popular in new Europe where poses that traditionally contained no bunghole, were suddenly ripe with the stuff, this demonstrates it very well, and the six pack abs and Poop Orko made me laugh.

Sometimes the world is just gonna try its best to keep you from having time to draw a beast, but in turn, sometimes, it just gives you those perfect windows that you need to learn to recognize… housewarming party+ Octopus Chalkboard + Merman = Bingo!

Why MerMilhouse’s Dad? Why? You know, I’m not even positive that’s a merpenis in that hand, but I’m still relatively confident you should be going to jail… And I don’t even mean cause of this drawing… just for thoughtcrimes, ha!

Haha you know that’s sorta the exact thought I would expect a merman to have during a moonlit eve’s contemplations whilst obviously scratching his merbutt… and look at how nicely having a tail works his core