Mistress Matisse listens and talks with Twisted Monk, as he discusses the problems of women on Fetlife being targeted for data-scraping and reposting by online harassers, and possible responses that users can make to that. This is a serious topic, and it is intended to spark more conversations. For example: how can we create more safety for people online? And how do we respond to businesses who claim to be part of the BDSM community, but aren't responsive to the needs of that community?About 16 minute

This is an informal test podcast, about 12 minutes. Monk and I talk about one time when I walked in on him when he was getting ready for a BDSM session in my space, and the things were not...quite what I expected. #sexwork #BDSM

Twisted Monk and I read a letter from someone who wants her boyfriend to have a two-man threesome with her. He refuses to do so, she wants advice on how to change his mind.

We talk about how we get a lot of letters from listeners/readers who ask: how do I get my partner to do X? It's a tough thing to give advice on. We propose that if you want good advice on that sort of subject, we need to hear both sides of the story!

BDSM techniques, in today’s new podcast: Monk and I talk about putting Altoids mints and Listerine Breath Strips in female pink parts. Naturally, I talk some about boy bits as well. Plus, why you’ll want some milk on hand for this type of play. About nine minutes, not work safe!

Monk and I have a brief discussion about our ability to fight off an attack by maniacal clowns. Then we answer a letter from a woman who wants to be a sex worker, and who made the mistake of asking strippers for advice about being an escort. So, thoughts about sex work hierarchies, and how sex work businesses are like Fight Club. Hope it’s educational…

In this episode, Monk and I briefly discuss how the Zombie Apocalypse would affect my diet Mountain Dew consumption. A letter from a dominant woman who feels nervous about her scenes. Key point: she’s eighteen years old. How should a young kinky person build confidence?

And I also have to blow a kiss to Monk, because this is the Official Weeklong Celebration of His Birth! No mere birthDAY for Monk, no no! He has a week! (Perhaps longer, if the bourbon and cute girls hold out.) So Happy BirthWeek to you, sweetheart!

In this podcast, Monk and I riff about phallic microphones and then read and discuss a letter from a reader pondering how to begin a polyamorous relationship. How do you treat the other significant others?

Monk and I have been so busy the last month, we have had no time to get down to the studio where we usually record our podcasts. So while it offends Monk’s production-quality sensibilities, I persuaded him to record what I will call some “Quick and Dirty” audio files, on a little consumer-grade digital voice recorder I have.

I personally think the sound quality is perfectly fine for what it is, and it means that we can read some of the letters that are stacking up. In this podcast: a kinky college student asks about how to handle kink-negative parents. (About ten minutes.)

TwistedMonk and I recorded what I am calling a "Quick and Dirty" podcast
last week. We didn't have access to our usual sound-studio, so this is
lower quality than we prefer, but it's better than nothing, right?
In this edition, we answer a reader's fashion question, and discuss
using one's kinky attitude to get the attention of dismissive
salespeople. About ten minutes.

Time for another podcast! In this one, Monk reads an original poem – or at least, we hope it is original – sent to him by a reader. And he reads it in the voice of William Shatner, because the William Shatner-voice makes everything better.

Moving on, we read a letter from a kinky person asking basically, how to keep a pleasant sexual tension alive in a long-term relationship. This is a type of question that we get a lot, so we both have plenty to say about it. As a man who’s been happily married for over twenty years, Monk waxes particularly eloquent. High point: he compares BDSM to Pokemon. I’m serious.

Another podcast, and another riff from Monk about how I’m playing with my nipple. Even though I’m not.

Then letters: a letter from a listener asking about jealousy and a three-way. Threesomes are fraught with peril, in my opinion. The best threesome experiences I have had were in situations where no one was in a couple. Three single people, in other words. An established couple plus one? That’s a very tricky situation. Monk and I step through some of the ways it could happen.

Next, a question from a BDSM person who’s wondering about how to answer a friend’s question, “Am I cut out to be a slave?”

The last letters asks, “Is it fair for a people in a polyamory group to veto the partners of other partners?” Monk and I both have some opinions about the term “veto” and making rules that create the illusion of control over other people.

First of all, I was not playing with my nipple while we were recording, all right? Let the record show. The bomb shelter we’re doing these things in is freezing cold, so I was actually wearing a leather jacket. A motorcycle-style jacket, so that’s two layers of leather over my chest. You could not have found my nipple with a sonogram. That’s just Monk being silly.

Our first question is a letter from someone who asks what to do when you’re caught in a sexy, kinky situation and you want to do bondage, but you have no rope? Monk and I free associate about improvised bondage equipment. (We did not use the microphone cables for bondage though. The sound guys frown on that.)

Then a BDSM newcomer asks: explain to me why I should get involved with the BDSM community? The short answer is: they’ll teach you things you might not otherwise know, and they’ll be support for you when things are tough.

Lastly, a sex worker asks a question about emotional relationships with clients. It’s a nuanced issue, and it underlines the fact one really cannot generalize about how sex workers feel about what they do. All the experiences are equally valid, but we’re different. I get sort of uncharacteristically woo-woo about my feeeeeeeeelings in this one, but the take-away quote is: “If you hate your clients, you’ll hate yourself.”

We answer a letter from someone who is new at being the top in a scene, and who is struggling with playing with people who don’t disclose important medical/emotional before the scene. Short answer: it's not perfect, but people do that. Roll with it.
Then we hear from someone who wants to know how to cover
bruises, so we talk about that some. I talk about my stripper days of putting make-up
on my ass… And mention some other kinky activities that leave marks on
socially-visible areas of the body.
Enjoy listening!

This one's a lulu. Now, let me say that Monk and I are practitioners of
safer safe, and we want to help people learn how to do safer sex. We
are sympathetic to people who are nervous about STDs. That said, there
is a right way and a wrong way to handle this conversation with a new partner, and in this show, we read a letter from someone who did it the wrong way!

Monk starts off with a letter from a sex worker asking about
how to handle curious phone calls. I’m embarrassed to say that the word “motorboat”
is mentioned. I also mention my oft-repeated bit of sex work advice, “Don’t say
anything you wouldn’t want read out loud in court.”

Then we hear from a reader who thinks that only male dominants
(not female ones) get teased, or harshly critiqued. I laugh for a while, and
then I explain how that’s not true. Although I do offer some harsh critique
about people who say “dom-may”. About 12 minutes, not work safe.

In this podcast, Monk and I read and answer a letter about how to meet kinky romantic
partners, and then a letter from a woman who is struggling with her
feelings about humiliation in BDSM porn and erotica, and who is
wondering if being African-American is part of that.

Take-home quote: "It's only porn if you make money from it. If you're not going to make any money from it, it's not porn, it's erotica."

But I do feel that it is slightly undignified to post slightly-tipsy rants about one of my pet topics: Crazy People And Sex Work.

Just to be clear – thank you, President Obama – I am not disclaiming the basic opinions I express here. I just wish I had voiced them a trifle less profanely and a trifle less… stridently. Whoops.

There's also a whole side conversation about fisting, in which I make an ill-advised personal disclosure.

Thus, I bring to a close the era of cocktails while podcasting. Enjoy us in all our ranty glory, the next round will be far more calm, sober and public-radio-esque. (Well, I will be, at least. I cannot speak for Monk.)

In this podcast, we do a lot of silly banter about needles
and being naked in bed, and then Monk reads a letter about how to do fast, easy
rope bondage during a resistance play scene, and I make some comments about
securing someone who is larger than you. After that, I verbally slap around someone who wants me to do their kinky thinking for them. About 16 minutes.

After way too long of an
interval - blame it on our busy schedules - Monk and I got together in
the zombie-proof sound studio and recorded some silly rants.
This one is a little short, only about seven minutes. It's a letter from a
reader who asks about sustaining BDSM energy in a long-term
relationship. Enjoy!

In this one, Monk and I read letters about
polyamory. First we talk about the not-so-good idea of comparing your
partners. "Why can't Partner B be more like Partner A." Then Monk talks
a little about his wife Tambo - and explains why he hardly ever talks
about her. (Hint: She is Keyser Soze.)

In this podcast, first we read a letter about safewords, and make mention of my two favorite safewords: vomit and lawsuit. I promise, those two words will capture any top's attention, anytime.

We also talk about the challenges of doing BDSM with a partner who is hearing-impaired. I make a verbal slip at one point that I must correct: I mistakenly say, "They can hear ME," which is not what I meant. I meant: a hearing-impaired person can talk, and I can hear THEM. Whoops.

In this podcast, Monk and I talk about the very sticky issue
of dealing with parents who get nosy about their adult-children's sex
life. Or: What To Do When Your Parents Find Out You're Kinky - And They
Aren't Happy.

A new podcast, in which Monk and I talk about "name-dropping" versus
giving references, and then we say things that will make furries
everywhere hate us. (Adult babies, too.) It's a testament to power of
good marketing. Or not.

Monk and I offer yet another take on the eternal question: how do you reconcile different sexual tastes in a marriage? A woman writes in to ask about her husband's kinky desires and her own not-so-kinky styles.

Then, an aspiring professional dominatrix asks about integrating her professional persona into the BDSM community. Is there prejudice?

Monk and I speculate about Jews and kink, and then
Monk explains the story of how he got into kink and became a
rope-maker. Also briefly mentioned is my ability to shoot laser beams
from my eyes. Enjoy!

A rare podcast that might, actually, be sort of worksafe. Monk and Matisse talk about fashion, and what we wear, and what we think that means. How do people perceive you based on what you wear? How do you play with your image? Monk also makes a controversial statement about men in kilts, and I respond with some remarks about schoolgirl outfits and kimonos.

Monk and I discuss recent sex work busts here in Seattle. (December, actually, but hey, we're not CNN here.) We comment on how a sex work business we'd noticed was shut down, and talk about how and why it triggered our "ho-dar". I then explain "The Three C's".

Monk and I read some letters, riff about kink words we hate (like, subbie) and then talk about switching, and how women can get fucked while staying in the dominant role. We use the word "fuck" a lot, although Monk talks dirty in romance novel-speak, as well. (This podcast inspired a column for next week's Stranger, too.)

Monk and I riff about The Venture Brothers, and then answer
a reader's letter about dominance/sadism vs. masochism/submission. What do
those words mean? Aligning your tastes with your partners… Then we give some
sources of "educational porn", and answer a reader who asks: my lover
liked kinky sex with her ex, but not with me – what to do?

This is a clip from the first recording session I ever did, so it's a bit raw. But I think it's fun. Monk of TwistedMonk.com joins me for questions from my blog readers about my partner Max, and a discussion of polyamory etiquette. Plus there's some dirty talk and general silliness. Adults only!