What you’ve missed

Author: Joanne Pasquale

There is nothing I enjoy more than a night (or day) at the theatre. Musicals in particular have an appeal like no other. I swear I must have had some connection to the theatre in a previous life. Sadly I don’t think I was high kicking with Liza Minelli or serenading Michael Ball; probably more like running around polishing shoes or sewing sequins. So it is with much excitement that I have recently been talking to the company who bring all the best shows to our little red dot, Base Entertainment. Today I was fortunate enough to be invited to the press call for its latest show at the MasterCard theatre, MBS, Sister Act – sequinned wimples and all.

Anyone too young to have watched the movie Sister Act needs to get themselves a couple of hours on the sofa right now as it’s a rare treat. Real old school comedy, fine female (and some male) actors and fabulous music. What more could you want? Obviously Whoopi Goldberg is forever associated with the film – but did you know it also featured Maggie Smith (pre Dame hood) and Harvey Keitel?

So it really shouldn’t be a surprise that a musical based on the film is also a must see. A huge hit from Broadway to the West End this production features the cast direct from the Broadway show. Obviously I’m not going to give too much away about what we were shown to say but suffice to say I’m more than a tad excited to be seeing the show.

From a 16ft tall Virgin Mary (with a not so dark side), to racks bursting with sparkling habits, our tour backstage was fascinating. Molly, the production stage manager showed us where she cues stage crew, audio and actors alike from left of stage (or right of stage if you are her as she has to do everything backwards) and the ‘God mike’ – for when things go wrong.

Gondola row – or wardrobe walk – was much smaller than I had imagined. This is the area where actors do quick changes. I can only imagine the swan like activity that goes on – with calm changes on the surface and utter panic underneath. I spotted a Wurlitzer (which looked original and I immediately coveted) bar stools upended, bottles of drink and glasses, Dolores coat and lots of slippers amongst many other gems. I can’t wait to see where they all feature in the show.

It was fascinating to hear how the sets, costumes, props, lighting and so on are all shipped around the world in five sea containers. How parts of the set are moved on and off stage and how the huge cast and crew work together to ensure the show is as good in one country as the next.

With shows as good as this hitting our shores I for one will make sure I’m supporting them – please go and do the same so this sister can carry on feeding her ‘habit.’

Like many other women here in Singapore my journey here began purely on a – and I HATE this term, so please forgive me – ‘trailing spouse’ basis. I had no work to come to and therefore no finances of my own as such. Yes, I know, really it’s ‘our’ money – but you know what I mean right?

Hell yeah!

As a result I am ashamed to say I seem to have got swallowed up in to the land of ‘leave the finances to him indoors’ despite the fact I know I’m much more organised than he is and therefore probably could do as good of a – if not better – job of organising them.

That was until recently when I was talking to a friend and lamenting the fact that I no longer had my ‘own’ bank account. She questioned why I’d given up something that I’d told her I clung to throughout my working and married life before moving here. The answer? Because I was told (or heard, or read or maybe even dreamt) that unless you have a Employment Pass here you can’t open a bank account. She laughed at me. Yes, my friend laughed in my face. Apparently that’s a ridiculous thing to think. I was a tad embarrassed. So I decided it was time I got myself back in to financial control.

Financial planning is a good idea

I started asking questions about ISA’s and mortgages and ways to invest. My husband – who’s always open about our finances – answered where he could. Funny thing was some of the stuff we were both not sure of. So I had to go further.

I joined a talk at Woolf Works held by a lady called Amanda Edwards who runs a company called Tidy My Money. At the talk, myself and a dozen or so other women listened to a fabulously confident lady called Andrea Kennedy explain why financial stability must come before financial wealth and that financial security between the two.

Andrea is a financial advisor – a job many of us have learnt to mistrust. She dispels this fear swiftly. In fact, she prefers the term financial planner, something I now understand is quite different. Interestingly though she also has a masters in financial psychology. Ooh and I love an ‘ology(booby prize for first person to name that ad!)Therefore, she speaks a lot about the psychology of how we deal with finances, and why we often are our own worst enemies.

I’m sure many of you have heard the horror stories of women who have sadly split up from partners whilst living away from their home country and been stranded. No money, no home, no way of supporting themselves or their family. When marriages break down like this it’s often with hurt and pain all round, so sitting down calmly to discuss who gets what is unlikely to happen.

$$$ – can help or hinder the Terrible D’s

It’s for this reason – and many more -that both Amanda and Andrea strongly encourage all women to deal with their finances now and in the open. Discuss with your partner what would happen if something awful happened. Be that death, divorce or disability (or the Terrible D’s as Amanda calls them). Make your finances as transparent as possible. Know where everything is and keep on top of things.

Being comfortable talking about money is also key. I always squirm and avoid the subject at all costs – after all, it’s just not the done thing is it? But, I can see that it should be amongst family and loved ones. Andrea also gave us food for thought about teaching our children about money, explaining that her children were given money to invest from a young age. Wow! Teaching them from an early age is the best way – why are we all so surprised? Why are so few of us doing it?

For me, it also means getting my head around the jargon and terms used. For someone who is good with words I switch off totally when those words are even vaguely related to numbers. I still struggle with gross and net! So, I’m gaining back a little bit of independence in terms of having my own bank account again (well, I will do when I have actually ventured to the bank which is a whole other issue. Paperwork and bureaucracy anyone?)

I will do it though. Nothing to do with planning a trip to Nashville, honest!

Hopefully money talk doesn’t lead to shouting at the top of your lungs

Bhutan had been ‘calling’ to me for a while. It seemed to pop up in my world on a regular basis. Whether it was on TV, a social media post or, more interestingly at my co-working space. An email came round asking if anyone would be interested in joining a group of women heading to Bhutan for a mindfulness and volunteering trip through a company called Insightful Learning Journeys. Yes! I almost shouted back.

Beautiful Bhutan

Although that actual trip never happened due to lack of numbers, having met up with Khatiza, founder of Insightful Learning Journeys, she asked if I would be interested in joining as a writer to another of her volunteering journeys which she facilitates for corporate employees. She was keen to have someone help her improve her website and write about the experience. Of course I jumped at the chance.

Khatiza founded Insightful Learning Journeys to create a foundation and framework of mindful values and practices which support both individuals and organisations and help create a ripple effect in communities. As a result of her keen interest in understanding and appreciating the value of Bhutan’s Gross National Happiness, she was invited in 2012 to deliver a talk on the topic to the Google employees in Singapore. Thus began the volunteering journeys to Bhutan, with participants who were keen to help the country develop while striving to retain its core values.

To join the journey meant committing to giving your time to an organisation to transfer knowledge or skills (or both) for part of the time you visit. The Google employees that were joining her on this self-funded trip were doing so with the aim of sharing there skills in technology, marketing, sales, engineering and so on. In return they got a couple of days holiday in lieu and a trip of a lifetime, not to mention the personal accomplishment of helping a community grow.

Some of the children I met whilst in Bhutan

How can I help?

Me? I was just a writer. What could I do? I was far from techie, and can’t claim to be a Google expert. But, ever resourceful, and knowing the needs of Bhutan as she does, Khatiza was quick to suggest a lady who has established Bhutan’s ONLY women’s magazine. Pema has been working on Yeewong for a number of years and apparently would be grateful my insight in to how to improve the magazine and its reach. Great I thought, that is right up my street. Or was it…?

Whilst I was happy to help out the magazine – and I did meet with Pema and offer some thoughts in to publishing from a Western perspective and we continue to keep in touch – I felt this wasn’t actually what Bhutan was ‘calling’ me for. There was something else, I was sure. Chatting to Khatiza one day it became clear. In fact, it was staring me in the face. My experience with children with Special Needs and my training as a Signalong tutor. My younger Son has Down’s Syndrome, so since becoming his mum 16 years agoI’ve learned A LOT about A LOT. All of it floating around in my brain somewhere.

When I revealed this to Khatiza she knew exactly where to put me – with the Ability Bhutan Society (ABS). A society inspired by the vision of the King of Bhutan and, according to its website “a place where those living with diverse abilities have a voice, where social workers develop skills to help, where families get support through education and psychosocial support and somewhere that provides qualified care providers.”

In a country like Bhutan, which is still very much in its infancy when it comes to understanding, training and the development of people with special needs, all offers of help and sharing of knowledge is welcomed.

So, in I walked with my four-penneth…

What do they need?

I met with Thuji, the behaviour specialist at ABS on our first night in Bhutan, and talking to her the extent of the help they needed was obvious. The vision and determination were there though – and that is half the battle. We talked about what resources were available (not many), what facilities were available (even less) and attitudes to disability in Bhutan. Unfortunately the elephant in the room was that in Buddhist religion, the matter of Karma is fundamental and the suggestion that people are ‘punished’ by being born with disability or special needs is an undeniable undercurrent.

However, thanks to people like Thuji and her wonderful Executive Director Beda who herself has a child with special needs, along with their team, the tide is turning and those with disabilities are being accepted, listened to and heard. In fact many Buddhist teaching dispel this karmic ‘payback’ as a myth.

After our dinner together I arranged to meet Thuji at ABS the next morning as she really wanted me to see the centre where most of the therapies and interventions are carried out. There were no brightly coloured walls, no nursery rhyme posters on the wall, no soft matting on the floor. Instead I was in a cold building of 3 levels – with NO RAMPS OR LIFTS. The irony of which wasn’t lost on Thuji or Beda, who both commented on it . But as I say, Bhutan is new to this. In the therapy rooms, names of children were pinned to the wall with a list of goals underneath. Under one or two of the names were chairs to aid sitting – the type children in the UK used about 15 years ago. Functional, yes. Comfortable? probably not.

But, I don’t want to paint a sad, poor picture here. It’s not like that. Thuji was justifiably proud to show me the goals for each child and the few toys they had, pointing out those that certain children favoured. It’s not that the Society can’t afford toys as such, it’s more that they just can’t GET them. Everything has to come from abroad, usually India, which isn’t always easy. Interestingly something that became more and more apparent throughout my visit wasn’t the lack of shiny new gadgets and fabulous sensory toys that they are crying out for, it was basic things like a colour printer to make visual timetables or a laminator so they could make PECS boards.

Honestly, my fund-raising mind went in to over drive straight away!

School is special for all

Thuji was keen for me to visit a local school with her to meet a teacher who had set up a special needs group within the school. Madam Chimmi works within a large local primary school and established a group within the school just for children with moderate learning difficulties when she could see that these children were not getting the help they needed elsewhere.

A small but functional classroom where tables were moved to accommodate ‘choosing time’

In a small classroom she works with 8 children varying in age with needs such as autism, global developmental delay and Downs Syndrome. The room was decorated with the children’s work and there was a small trampette in the corner which served as a place for some of the children to let off steam in between work. Again, what stood out was the lack of simple resources.

Tables were shifted around to accommodate what work they were doing and Madam Chimmi spent most of the time working on her own with the class. No easy task – as anyone who has worked with children with SN will testify. All of the children have a parent/carer outside during play time as their just isn’t the staff to supervise. As a result, many parents and carers have to sit outside the classroom all day as to go home and come back again is out of the question – we’re talking a long trek for many.

Despite this, many of those women (and they were all women) were grateful that their children had somewhere to go and would happily tolerate the tediousness of sitting on the floor or stone benches for hours on end. It felt very much like a community and they were there making things, chatting and passing the time in a convivial atmosphere, springing in to action when the children came out.

Puzzles were one of the few resources available to the class.

Madam Chimmi told me how difficult it was to access resources – much like Thuji had said. She was in desperate need of things like simple flash cards, keyrings to make up individual PECS aids, materials for art and the like. She wasn’t looking for computer programmes, sensory tunnels and new playground equipment. But more than that she wanted to learn. Learn how to help the children under her care as she wasn’t ‘officially trained’ in SN. She lapped up the few signs I showed one of the little girls who was desperately trying to talk to us but couldn’t produce actual words. She was interested to hear about my work as a Signalong Tutor and spoke of how, because there was no real speech therapy in Bhutan at all, there was nowhere to send children like Pema.

The children are included in treats taken around the school

I also found out that there is just one psychologist in the whole of Bhutan – yes, that is one person helping EVERYONE who needs psychological help.

I came away from the school amazed at how much Madam Chimmi had achieved with what little training she had – with the support of the ABS. But there was so much more, with such little input that could be done. So my mind began buzzing. What if I could bring over a team of SN specialists? I know many myself and I was sure it is something that would appeal to many.My mind was whirring.

Family time

That afternoon I went to meet two local families who get support from the ABS and with whom I was going to be working with over the next couple of days. I was a little nervous as I wondered how I’d feel about someone new coming in to my house telling me what to do with my child. Especially someone from a completely different culture. I was very aware that my life was probably different in many ways – my access to help, my outlook, my view on SN generally and I tried to bear this in mind when planning what to do.

I decided the best way to help would be to do some ‘play therapy’ to encourage some of their other skills, be it fine motor, communication or social – or all three. I wanted to concentrate on communication as that is the area I have had training in and went for the idea of using sensory bags.

I filled two PE style bags with various items of different materials, textures, shapes, feel. I also took along things like cornflour, dough, pipe cleaners and shaving foam to play with.

Suvan, the first young man I met was 4 years old. I’d been in touch with his parents Pem and Sunil via email for a few weeks and they had given me some information on his background. He had trouble feeding from an early age, refusing any solid food. He also had global developmental delay and communication difficulties. The parents had been working hard on introducing various foods to Suvan, trying to wean him off pureed food and had got to a stage – through a lot of perseverance – where he had just begun to tolerate very small lumps. Unfortunately Suvan choked on a piece of food which led to a rush to the emergency room at the hospital. This clearly set him back and Pem and Sunil explained to me that he now once again refuses anything other than pureed food.

The charming Suvan

From talking to a therapist called Caroline Essame here in Singapore I went armed with some ideas and information on oral defensiveness. Along with my sensory bag of goodies I arrived the next day to play with Suvan the next day. A very astute little boy who sussed me out immediately and was reluctant to engage with me. He did however, tolerate me being around for quite a while. I was expecting this reaction as when I had called round the day before to meet the family he made it clear he wasn’t interested in me being there. A very typical reaction really for a boy who is happily watching nursery rhymes on TV and a stranger turns up.

My plan was to engage him through Pem and Sunil – therefore taking the pressureaway from Suvan to have to ‘talk’ or ‘play’ with me. I showed Pem how to make up cornflour gloop and we encouraged Suvan over to see if he would touch it. He did, without fuss and we even managed to get him to put his whole hand on the top and feel the mixture melt underneath it. I explained to Pem that this was an ideal thing to do with cousins (she had previously told me he has a number of cousins of a similar age that he currently struggles to engage with).

I then took various things out of the sensory bag and either dropped them on the floor near to Suvan or threw them across to him. He picked up each thing and insisted I put it back in to the bag. Each time he did I over exaggerated my response. “No” – with a big shake of the head – “you don’t want this?” Or making sounds like “B” for the balls or “Ffff” for the feather.

Suvan loved to watch nursery rhymes in his special spot

I was encouraging each time he interacted with me – even it was to tell me to go by handing me my bag. He was charming and very determined. All traits that will serve him well I’m sure. After a while I let him go back to his nursery rhymes and went through some oral exercises with Pem that will hopefully help develop Suvan’s oral awareness. We also discussed getting some help and information from other places – websites, through the ABS and maybe further afield.

Both Sunil and Pem were very gracious having me in their home and both very keen to learn and help their son as much as possible. Sunil explained how they had taken him to Bangkok in the past to see experts that aren’t available in Bhutan. We also touched on how it can be isolating having a child with SN. I left feeling like I’d made friends with the family and hope I gave them at least some tools to use to help with his development.

Pulling together

Sherub, who is 10 and has global delay, was the other boy I had been placed with. Again I’d been in touch with his parents and his mum Ugyen had already expressed such gratitude to me I felt very humbled. When I went to meet the family it was clear they all took care of Sherub and were desperate to try to help him. In particular his younger sister, who had left school to become his main carer whilst his mum worked. This struck me as very selfless of her and I’m sure takes the pressure of the family immensely. I also felt a little sorry for her as she had given up her education.

But from what other people had told me, this is common in Bhutan due to lack of facilities for children like Sherub and Suvan. It also isn’t uncommon for families to have to leave their relatives at home alone all day in order to work – some of whom are so vulnerable they have to be locked in a room. This may sound shocking and it’s hard not to judge. But really, what would you do if your child couldn’t attend school and there was no one to look after him/her but you needed to work to keep your family fed? So Sherub was actually fortunate that he had someone to look after him.

Sherub was a friendly young man and happy to play with me. One of the areas his mum had expressed concern with was his tendency to grab at people, squeeze too hard or lash out. I had experience with this and I dealt with it by gently pushing his hand away, and saying no firmly and say something like ‘nice hands’ or ‘hands to yourself’. At one point Sherub did grab at my glasses (which was mainly due to over excitement), what was encouraging was that he immediately looked to his mum which suggests he understood it was not appropriate. A simple no with my hand and voice was all that was needed.

Sherub soon worked out how to get the balloon to make a funny noise.

He really enjoyed the sensory bag and happily played with the squishy balls and scarves. He especially liked the balloon and we played with this for a while. Blowing it up, making lots of funny noises which he tried to mimic, and then letting it go and making even more funny noises. Soon Sherub tried to imitate the shape of blowing with his mouth and this was really encouraging. He loved the play foam and his sisters helped him manipulate it. He chased the balls and when he clearly had decided a break was needed he wandered in to another room. But each time he came back very happily and it was easy to engage him once again.

Sherub got the whole family involved in our play!

I know a lot of young children like Sherub and I was really struck by how the right kind of input can make the world of difference. In my opinion I would say Sherub was on the autistic spectrum. I know that Thuji has trained in ABA and explained to Ugyen that I thought this was a programme Sherub could really benefit from, particularly in areas like toilet training. I wondered how many children would get the opportunity to join the programme though when only one person in the country could carry it out?

I felt a real need for the families to be involved more and suggested – both to Ugyen and Thuji – that maybe his sister could attend any ABA with Sherub and learn how to do it with him. That way, she would learn a way to help him and then perhaps have a skill she could use later on too.

Again I felt a real bond with Sherub and his family and was welcomed with grace and humility. I was struck by how different things are when you are in a country that is still catching up with regards to training and awareness. But it was clear the need is there – as is the willingness to learn.

The future

Having finished working with the boys I met with Thuji and Beda and talked about how things went. They were both keen to hear what my thoughts were which was very humbling once again – after all, I’m just a mum with a little bit of experience. I had brought along some flash cards, simple games and communication ideas that I left with them. Along with a flip chart or two, note books and other things that the Googlers kindly gave me.

I asked Thuji to make a list of materials or resources they needed most and I would see what I could get together. What was on it surprised me once again – velcro strips, laminating pouches, key word flash cards. Things that we can pick up easily enough here.I said I’d start a collection and get a package to them next year. Although how the heck they get their post is a mystery since there are no addresses as such in Bhutan!

Can you help provide some basic resources?

If you have any items you’d like to donate, please see the link below.

Having returned from my journey and reflected on the time I spent with the ABS and the families in Bhutan, what’s crystal clear is the need for training, information and advice. Also, that it would actually be quite simple to start making inroads to help.

Do you want to help?

So, I have a plan. My idea is to get a team together next year to go out and offer our skills. Just as Insightful Learning Journeys do with the Googlers – give the communities the tools and knowledge to help themselves. Teaching people how to fish as it were.

Help us bring some muscle in the form of skills and knowledge to the children of Bhutan.

I’m looking for speech therapists, SN teachers, ABA qualified people, child psychologists, OT’s, Physiotherapists and of course, parents who want to share their knowledge. The idea being that we go in and teach/help the staff of ABS who will then, in turn, be able to help the families of Bhutan.

In return? Well, you’d get the experience of a life time and we’ll make sure you get time to see some of the stunning beauty of this amazing country. The trip would be self funded (maybe your company offers some kind of programme whereby they’d sponsor you?) But I promise it’s worth every penny. Think of it as a holiday as you will come back feeling great.

If you are interested in joining this SN group to Bhutan, please get in touch as soon as possible. Email me putting Bhutan Volunteering in the title bar. If you are based in Singapore or the UK and you have resources to donate please also email me here with details of what you could offer and I will arrange either collection or a drop off point.

Finally, here is a piece Thuji sent me that she wrote about her feelings regarding the children she works with. She is sending it in to her local paper to raise awareness.She agreed to let me share it here.One morning I was driving to work, I got a call from an old friend who wanted me to see his nephew who has Autism. I was excited to meet his nephew whom I had heard about but never met. As the car drove into my office parking lotI saw a young, handsome boy on the front seat. I opened the door and greeted him. He looked at me and took his seat belt off. He held my hand as we walked into the office.

He looked excited and happy.Let me call him Nima, like the Sun. He was a strong and energetic teenager living with Autism.

Autism in simple words is an impairment in socialisation and expressive language with sensory related issues like vocalisation and self-stimming behaviour.Nima could not express his needs or wants, but he understood what everyone around him was saying. Nima looks for warm hugs, love and gentleness from people around him.He has a beautiful soul, full of innocence.

His parents are divorced and he gets little attention at home. He is sent off to a village with his grandparents, who do not know what to do with this young teenager.It’s not his parents’ fault – they are frustrated and helpless. His parents do not know how to take care of him living in Thimphu. No doubt this young teenager is neglected and seen as a burden to family.Deep in his eyes there is a story untold.
When I met him and after spending time with him I feel his voice. In his voice I write for him:

Whose child am I?

‘My parents have no time for me, waiting for me to perish. I cannot express my basic needs. I am hungry and I don’t know how to ask for food. I am cold but I can’t ask for warm clothes.I want to go out like every teenager but the outside light effects my vision and the noises are magnified too loud. ‘

Like Nima, there are many children living behind closed doors, asking whose child am I? Do I have a right to live?

Do you know a family who has a child like Nima? Can your heart open to be more understanding? Can you hear his – and the family’s voice?

By: Thuji

Behaviour specialist

Ability Bhutan Society

To find out more about ways to help the ABS in Bhutan please get in touch. Either fill out the form below or email me.

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Click through to the links to read about the rest of my time in Bhutan.

Sightseeing in Thimpu

Despite the fact Thimpu is relatively small, there are a number of sightseeing options. If you’d like to read about why and how I got to Bhutan in the first place please click here. I also took on the ‘Tigers Nest Trek’ which you can find here. All of my cultural learning whilst there was part of a learning journey with Insightful Learning Journeys. which Founder Khatiza Van Savage facilitates. In this particular journey, I was included in a self funded volunteering and cultural immersion learning for Google Employees.

I travelled independently of the group but we met for breakfast and dinner most days. I also took part in my own mindful volunteering that you can read about here. As I was part of a larger group I was lucky to have a pick of wonderful guides – Dorji and his team of Bhakta, Thinley and Sonam are seasoned guides and drivers who have supported Khatiza Van Savage in her learning journeys for many years. They are proud and gracious Bhutanese nationals, well versed in their culture and eager to ensure that your journey is memorable on many levels.

BUDDHA POINT

It was clear before we got anywhere near the Buddha that we had chosen possibly the worst – but also the best day – to visit. It was the final day of ‘Prayers for world peace’ and it seemed that many local people were converging, possibly for the 8th time in as many days (as many people visit every day) on Buddha Point. The traffic snaked around the mountain for a good 2k or so. Still we persevered as it seemed that if this many people were going there, it would be worth the journey. And it was.

As the car park was shut we were dropped off at the foot of the steps to the Buddha – and thank goodness. I would urge anyone going to make the climb from the bottom of the steps rather than driving up to the car park. It looks quite daunting but it is well worth it, especially as you can stop as many times as you like, turn around and be rewarded with breathtaking views across Thimpu.

The steps up to Buddha Point

As we were climbing the stairs dozens of people passed us, some carrying tiny babies in their arms, many walking with whole families, lots of young children laughing as they bounded up without effort. I even saw an elderly lady who was hunched over and barely able to stand being helped step by slow step. It was clear she was going to make it no matter what and her cheerful companion was going to encourage her the whole way.

And dogs…

Old and young alike made their way to Buddha Point for prayers for world peace

Once we were at the top it was evident what all the fuss was about. Over the loud-speaker the chant of prayers was being played to the hundreds of people sat in front of the Buddha. All there to give thanks and prayer, all there of their own will, all there to celebrate. Rows and rows of people of all ages, sitting sedately on the ground, in front of them, rows and row of monks sat under a large marquee that had been erected especially for the occasion. In front of the monks was another more auspicious bright yellow silk ‘tent’ where apparently the Abbott himself was reciting the prayers that could be heard (we couldn’t spot him from where we were). This is the equivalent of the pope being in attendance apparently and there was certainly a reverential, and joyous, atmosphere around.

A sea of people gathering to give thanks and prayer

We walked around the structure of the Buddha – and around the fenced off area where the people were gathered sitting in prayer. Although we couldn’t go up the steps that led to the foot of the structure we could still get a feel of the majesty of it and why it is regarded as a must see whilst here. All around, outside of the fenced off area children were playing happily, families gathered together, people shared food and monks and security guards alike passed by.

Monks, children and families alike walk by

We went to give offerings to the monks and found we had a choice of worthy causes to give to. As we walked the steps back down I took in the amazing views once again and for the first time since arriving felt the true beauty of Bhutan and its people. The happiness was palpable and I felt honoured to have shared a part of this special day.

SIMPLY BHUTAN

Dorji taking one for the team!

As the name suggests, this simply is Bhutan – a living museum that has been set up to show Bhutan as it was, before development kicked in. A very small museum that actually has a lot to offer. The initially shy guide – although I think her shyness was possibly more about our charismatic guide ribbing her than anything else – took us around each display explaining them to us. The first room she gave us the opportunity to try some traditional local wine.

If I were to say it was like firewater that would be an understatement! A small sip was all I could manage. Luckily Dorji was kind enough to finish it for me so I didn’t appear rude 😉

Other displays included a phallic garden (yes, with phallus of every shape, size and colour), the inside of a traditional Bhutanese house, festival masks, local craftwork, archery and a wishing bowl to try. Some women also performed a local dance whilst constructing a house!

The very talented Pema showing us his craft

One particular display that is well worth making the visit for is a local craftsman called Pema (http://www.simplybhutan.bt/tshering.php.) He creates the most intricate wood carvings, carving and painting them all himself. Pema has cerebral palsy and does all the work with his feet. With his beaming smile and willingness to share his craft he won us over completely. His story of being ‘found’ in a small mountain village and then being given a place at arts college is inspiring and heart warming.

Trying my hand at the national sport

Local festival masks

Embroidery in action

A round of a traditional song

Simply Bhutan

The Phallus garden!

CHANGANGKHA TEMPLE

There are any number of temples/monasteries to see in Bhutan, and in Thimpu. I chose Changangkha after reading about the resident astrologer who can provide your very own prayer flags according to your date of birth. I was intrigued. Not the most worthy of reasons I grant you, but hey, a little frivolity here and there doesn’t hurt right?

Changangkha Temple

The monastery is perched high on a ridge above central Thimpu and dates back to the 12th century. Climb the steps and walk around the pilgrim path where you can sit and rest on the benches there to admire the spectacular views offered of Thimpu.

Guru Rinpoche, (link to Tigers Nest) the Tibetan who introduced Buddhism to Bhutan, settled in this area and so the monastery was built here and is regarded as one of the holiest temples in Thimpu. Parents bring their children here to be named by the protector deity Tamdrin. Whilst we were there one mum was holding her swaddled baby waiting for his or her name. A slip of paper was passed to her and she left – all very quick and without ceremony. Very unlike the naming ceremonies and christenings I am used to My guide, Sonam explained that he was named at this monastery. Apparently names are unisex and there are only a small number – so there are many Sonams around!

After our visit we head back down the steps to visit the astrologer – a portly round-faced man whose teeth and mouth were stained with the beetle nut he obviously chews on a regular basis. He reminded me of a cartoon monk with his large belly and cheery demeanour. After requesting my date of birth he told me – through my guides – that this year was in fact a bad year for me in business and up until the 2nd December I should avoid any business decisions. He gave me four sets of prayer flags (well, sold me!) and told me to hoist them any time from the next day to nine days time. Of course, the higher and holier the place the better.

Lucky for me I just happened to be trekking to Taktsang temple (link to Tigers Nest) the following day – possibly the best place for flags there is.

The view from the temple and locals gathering to pass the time of day

THE NATIONAL LIBRARY

As a lover of books I am always up for a quick look around a library. Bhutan’s national library is slightly different to your usual one. For a start there is no one in there! Maybe it was the time of day? Also, it didn’t look like you could actually borrow the books, although I didn’t check this out.

The books there seemed to be mostly reference and historical books. I’m guessing this library is used more for research than finding the latest JK Rowling.

However, the building itself is beautiful inside and out a worth a quick look if you are in the area.

The National Library

CHOKI TRADITIONAL ARTS & CRAFTS SCHOOL

Bhutan has 13 traditional crafts and these crafts are plain to see all over Bhutan and you cannot turn a corner without seeing some beautiful painting on the side of a house or traditional wood carving on a pillar. The Choki Traditional Art School in Thimpu is one of two in the country set up to teach young people the traditional skills of their ancestors.

Open to the public, the school is a place to see the crafts being learnt from the ground up as it were – and it’s fascinating to see the painstaking detail and intricate way in which each craft is taught.

From ‘Rimo’ (drawing), Patra (carving), Tshem-Zo (embroidery) and Thanka (scroll painting) the young people who qualify at the school then have a skill they can use throughout their lives and ensure that these age-old techniques do not die out.

Just some of the crafts being taught

JUNGSHI PAPER FACTORY

Having wandered around the local market stalls I’d already noticed the beautiful paper and paper products on sale. The intricate flower pressed gift wrap, the delicately bound notebooks and the robust looking sheets of paper caught my eye. So when the guide suggested we go visit where it is made I was keen – after all, it could feed my notebook fetish if nothing else.

At the factory, visitors can watch paper being made from start to finish and it’s a fascinating journey. The paper is made from the bark of just two tree species – the Daphne tree and Dhekap tree. Using traditional age-old methods, the bark is soaked, pulped, squeezed, wrung out, placed on racks, dried on a wall then laid out. I make it sound so easy – it clearly is a finely honed skill. As we watch the man smooth out thin sheets of soaking wet paper on to a hot wall that dries it in minutes ,and then peel it off (before it dries out too much; a matter of seconds) and place the sheet in a pile before starting the process again, it’s clear that this is something he’s being doing for a long time.

Whilst you are not going to spend hours at this little factory it is well worth a visit. Of course, I bought a notebook!

Making paper the tradtional way

TASHICCHO DZONG THIMPU

There are Dzongs on every hill in Bhutan it seems. Dzong actually means fortress and were built not only to protect the Bhutanese but also as administrative centres, houses for the clergy and somewhere people got together during festivities.

This particular Dzong is one of the most important and was restored after a fire in 1698 (originally built in 1641). It houses the secretariat, throne room and offices of the King of Bhutan. It was also where the fifth kings coronation was held in 2008. The northern part – which is not open to the public – is the summer home of the Je Khenpo (most Chief Abbot of the Central Monastic Body)

An interesting and photogenic place to wander around, be aware you cannot take photos inside some areas so check with your guide first.

Don’t look now but he’s watching you

Popping home for lunch?

POST OFFICE

Now I’m no prude when it comes to stamp collecting – there is a history of stamp collecting in the family – the prospect of visiting a post office during my trip seemed slightly weird to me. My guide though was keen, and as he said, at least I could post my few postcards whilst there.

Housing a small museum that gives a brief, but thorough history of post in Bhutan is worth a visit if you’ve got half an hour to spare. Considering Bhutan still doesn’t have consistent street names and no postcodes it’s tricky enough now to consider posting something. Back when you were reliant on the strong legs and resolve of the mail runners – who literally, as their name suggests – ran around the hills with mail, it must have been quite hit and miss.

But for me, the piece de resistance of the visit to the post office was being able to buy stamps with my own mug on! Oh yes, I stood in front of a really obviously fake ‘background’ of The Tigers Nest lead to much excitement when I wrote out a few postcards and was able to slap my personalised stamp in to the top right corner. Can’t wait to hear people’s reactions when they get their postcard!

Stamps!

REFLECTIONS

Looking back I still can’t believe the numbers of dogs I saw on the streets of Thimpu – and I understand this is true throughout most of Bhutan. Not only that, the noise those dogs make at night isn’t something that I remember fondly. Having said that, there are lots of things I do.

Street dogs in Thimpu

The warm people, the stunning views, the clean air, the sky that goes on forever and the fabulous guides. Also knowing that there are people there that need a helping hand. Here are just some of the pictures I took of the wonderful Bhutanese people.

Some of the children I met whilst in Bhutan

The wonderful people of Bhutan!

LIKE TO TAKE YOUR OWN JOURNEY TO BHUTAN?

If you are interested in joining a journey in the future I am currently working with ILJ to organise a writers retreat, yoga journey and a volunteer journey to work with the Ability Bhutan Society. Please do get in touch if you are at all interested here and put Insightful Learning Journeys in the title bar.

Chukie and Khatiza our facilitators and cheerleaders!

Please do click through to the links to read about the rest of my time in Bhutan.

I’ll be honest, trekking isn’t a past time I’d choose (what are you laughing at?)

In fact, apart from a trip to Wales in my teens I’m pretty sure trekking has never featured in my life before now. Unless walking the dog around the local woods counts?

When I decided to go to Bhutan it was always part of the plan to see the Tigers Nest – but honestly, this was purely because it was suggested to me as a must see. A Buddhist monastery that clings to a granite cliff more than 3,000 above sea level and apparently every Bhutanese person should take a pilgrimage there at least once, as should every visitor if they can. So in for a penny and all that!

The Tigers Nest perched on the edge of a very craggy rock

Really I went with little expectations and even less knowledge. It’s said that ignorance is bliss – this saying could not have been more true in this instance. I naively asked my guide Thinley how difficult the trek was. He laughed and said it depends on each person, but not to worry. Another guide I talked to told me the worst part were the steps at the end – around 800 of them. What he failed to mention was that you had to do them twice – obviously! There and back!

The morning of the trek we drove through Paro and I was struck by how pretty a town it is compared to Thimpu. Not as heavily built up, more land around and without the bustle.

As we turn a bend Thinley points to a dot in the distance that is apparently where we are heading. I squint. Mmm…put it this way. I couldn’t even make out the temple.

It’s up there you say?

Having parked up and acquired a walking stick we begin the trek. I don’t know what I was expecting but it was not at all what I got. An open expanse of land that could be someone’s garden (if your garden looks like barren land at the bottom of the foothills of the Himalayas that is) is where you head through to start the trek upwards. Oh, and when I say upwards, I mean upwards. No, you’re not rock climbing – but it’s not a gentle stroll let’s be clear on that.

We pass a water wheel housed inside a white building that looked like the woodchoppers cottage from childhood fairy tales. Complete with icy cold stream and wooden bridge. Honestly, I think Grimm himself couldn’t have created a more fairytale like picture.

The faiytale ‘cottage’

Thinley had offered me the option of taking a pony up (they only take you half way) and I scoffed at the suggestion. After all, I was fit woman in her prime – ha! as if I’d need to be carried up a little incline. We often had to stop to let lines of ponies coming down pass by. Interestingly some of them seemed to choose their own path and didn’t mind climbing the most awkward way down so I was feeling pretty good about my choice to use my own two feet.

Ponies can help you half way

Just ten minutes later I was regretting the pony decision. You see, it’s not that it’s a difficult climb per se. It’s just a really bloody difficult walk. Obviously you have to factor in the altitude – which was what got to me I think. (No, it was not that I’m very unfit) I literally had to stop every ten minutes to take a breather. The first half dozen times I was a little embarrassed at my tardiness and laughed it off, the next few times I apologised to Thinley for my stop-starting. After that I didn’t care – I had to breathe for Gods sake!

Each time the every gracious Thinley simply stopped with me and we took in the view – and a few dozen photos. So not really a bad thing to stop at all. As the path snakes up through the pine forest the views over Paro are amazing.

The path is a little treacherous in places. No hair raising drops, which is what I had been having nightmares about the night before. You just had to watch your footing, it’s dry and gravelly after all. But nothing the many sprightly elderly trekkers that we passed couldn’t deal with. There was a sense of camaraderie whilst walking amongst other trekkers too. A simple nod of the head (often talking was out of the question due to lack of breath) that said “I feel your pain, but keep going” or a quick “hi, how you doing?” as people passed you on their way down. A couple of “keep it up, it’s worth it” were thrown around too.

Just a few minutes to catch my breath

I played tag with a Japanese couple who seemed to be going at a similar pace. I’d pass them, stop, they’d pass me, they’d stop… The guy was playing buddhist prayers through his phone and this rhythmic chanting was fantastically uplifting and completely in keeping with the walk. I pushed to keep up with him at times just to listen to the comfort of the prayers. Funnily enough I saw them both at the airport a few days later and we greeted each other like long lost friends – even though we only ever exchanged facial expressions on that day.

On the way up there are rest stops where you can sit and admire the view. Prayer flags are strung in many places giving a real sense of calmness to everywhere. I also spot small pots here and there hidden in the rocks. Thinley explains they are ‘Tsatsas’ which are stupa-shaped clay statues that sometimes have the ashes of loved ones embedded in them, these are meant to liberate their souls.

Tsatsas nestle amongst the rocks

After an hour we stop at an opening which all but shouts ‘here, take a look at how beautiful I am’ and is home to stunning giant prayer wheel that looks out over the valley and framed with prayer flags fluttering in the breeze.

Tea and biscuits – a welcome break half way!

Halfway and time for tea

Half way up and there’s a welcome place to stop and rest – and have a cuppa (as you do up a Bhutanese mountain). For me this rest stop was also somewhere to contemplate the fact that the worst was yet to come. The dreaded steps!

Oh, and have a comfort break, where I took the obligatory toilet selfie (not going to beat that one in a hurry!)

After fifteen minutes or so I could put it off no longer. So, with Thinley grinning like someone who knew something I didn’t, we headed to the white flag where the steps began (and dozens of sweating, bedraggled people gather either before or after climbing the steps).

Just some of the steps…

Seeing the wooden steps snake down, around, down, around and then back up the other side of the mountain is daunting to say the least. Apparently it’s only in the last ten years that the hand rail has been put in place so I was dutifully grateful for small mercies. In fact, Thinley mentioned that the steps were an add on too – previously the only way to the monastery was picking your way on a precarious path. Again I was grateful.

As it turned out the steps were, for me, the easier part. It was simply stepping up and down right? I still stopped every ten minutes and my strange brain decided counting the steps as I went was a good idea. Distraction or motivation? I’m still not sure. I counted 390 up and 430 down. I’m pretty sure I got confused a couple of times but the numbers are not far out.

The waterfall at the bottom is a welcome distraction too and you can’t help but wonder at it’s power. Although no Niagara falls, the fact you know it’s path runs a very long way – and that you can spot it’s baby streams as you walk up the mountain is breathtaking. I also think back to the fairy tale waterwheel at the bottom of the trek.

The viewpoint before the steps

Of course, once the Tigers Nest is within touching distance it’s all about the finish line. Luckily we made it just in time as the monastery closes for lunch at 1pm. Yes, it took me almost three hours to get there (we left just before 9:30am).

We went inside the monastery (and climbed even more steps!) and Thinley told me how this was the birthplace of Bhutanese Buddhism as Guru Rinpoche flew here from Tibet on the back of a Tigress and came to meditate here for 3 years, 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days. He showed me the underground cave and I lit a butter lamp to honour lost loved ones in the intensely hot, glowing Butter Lamp room. We also visited the altar room where many come and offer their prayers. Others – like me – simply stand and take in the amazing display of offerings and the famous bronze Padmasambhava (or Guru Rimboche). This statue was the only thing to survive a fire in 1998 that destroyed everything else in the monastery! I also sat and spent a few minutes meditating as best I could, just to connect with the spirituality of the place.

You are not allowed to take bags or cameras in to the monastery which means it’s somewhere that naturally seems to imprint on your mind. As it was about to close we didn’t take in the breathtaking views as much as we could have. Instead, we started our descent back ready for the ascent up the 800 steps. On the way this time we stopped at a fantastic look out and I dutifully posed for what can only be described as travel photographer porn. Beautiful! The view, not me!

Stunning views at every turn

Beautiful Paro

The walk back was, without doubt a LOT easier than the walk there. I got chatting to lovely gentleman on the way down and we said our goodbyes only to meet up ten minutes later at the cafe where lunch was laid on. A very tasty – and very welcome – vegetarian curry buffet. Just what the doctor ordered!

Lunch time – a delicious buffet is laid on

Coming down is tough on your knees though so the walking stick comes in handy. But it’s much easier on the lungs and not as hard work as it all downhill. Again, be careful of your footing. On our way down we hung the prayer flags I had been given at Changangkha Temple. The ever helpful Thinley thought nothing of pulling of his shoes and shinning up a tree to find the perfect spot to hang them. I truly felt like luck would be on my side leaving my prayers in such a spiritual place.

Thinley the brave

Watch out, there’s a guide up that tree!

As the fairy tale water wheel came in to view my sense of achievement grew. I’d done it. Five hours of sweat, groans, puffing and huge wows and we’d made it. I spent the journey back to the hotel grinning from ear to ear. Literally.

I’d climbed a mountain!

The end is in sight

Looking out at the view

Is this not the perfect place to sit and think about what you’ve just achieved – and take a photograph that will instantly become your profile pic..

PHOTOGRAPHS

Trekking up to the Tigers Nest really is a photographers dream. Here are some more of the shots I took.

View from below

My very own prayer flags

The waterfall at the bottom of the steps

Prayer flags everywhere

A former pilgrims house

The waterfall

Please do click through to the links to read about the rest of my time in Bhutan.

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It was some time ago that Bhutan caught my attention. As a country that puts Gross Domestic Happiness ahead of Gross Domestic Product I watched a programme about the country and was fascinated. The fact that it sits landlocked between India and China in the foothills of the Himalayas was something that was so intriguing – and the more I read about this tiny country and its independent people, the more I wanted to go. However, it was clear from the protestations of “I don’t want to look at temples” from the kids and “mmmh, not sure I’m that interested in treks” from the husband that this was somewhere I’d have to explore on my own.

So I did. In a way that I had never explored a country before. Part tourist, part volunteer, part working, here’s the journey I took…

Getting there

With an early start, and despite being one of the first at the airport, I wasn’t able to get a window seat – which I’d been told to try to do so that I could get the full experience of flying in over the Himalayas. I needn’t have worried though – the excitement on the plane is palpable. The flight was fine, a little cramped as you’d expect from a small airbus but the service was good. After a quick stop in Kolcatta where half the plane got off and new passengers got on we take off again for the 40 minute journey to Bhutan.

Soon enough the range comes in to view, the snowy cap of Mount Everest can be seen if you are lucky enough to be sat on the left, the rest of us have to crane our necks and hope for a glimpse. Before you know it you are gasping at the wonder around you – left and right on our journey. At one point it felt like we got so close to the side of the mountain that we could have reached out and touched it.

The slight swerve and sharp pull on the brakes as we land reminds us how tricky a landing this is and once we’re done there is a ripple of applause. Apparently there are only a handful of pilots trained to do this landing and I can see why. Skill is an understatement.

The view from the airplane window as it circles round between the mountains

Bhutan airport is a straightforward, old-fashioned type affair where you walk down the steps of the plane on to the tarmac and trundle off to go through customs. I love that kind of arrival – you feel like you’ve arrived in a new country, rather than just a waiting room. Having said that, as I’d find out all over Bhutan, the building itself is like a museum itself. Beautiful carvings, paintings and architecture.

The airport is slightly jazzier than Heathrow

Customs was quick and painless as was collecting the luggage and I was met straight away by Dorji, one of the ever smiling guides who welcomed me with a white silk scarf and warm greeting.

Gangtey Palace

A short drive took us to Gangtey Palace, a boutique hotel just up the mountain from the airport. Once a summer palace to the aristocracy and residence of the Governor, it was gifted to an ancestor of Tobgye Dorji’s family for services to the monarchy. The family is justifiably proud of their gift. The gardens – looked after solely by the mother of the family – was reminiscent of an english country garden in its planning. Fuchsias, carnations and sweet peas were near to the end of their season but I’m sure were blooming resplendent throughout the summer months. The whole landscaping was breathtaking. However the similarity to an English garden stopped there as the whole hotel is beautifully traditional.

The entrance to Gangtey Palace. Beautiful inside and out.

Stone pathways lead to a huge lawn – a former apple orchard I believe – that would simply say ‘ta da’ if it could to the view. And what a view. Paro and it’s surrounding mountains glistened in the beautiful sunlight. The sky was picture perfect blue and the air was clear and fresh – and not at all cold! I felt I may have over packed slightly as had brought thermals and LOTS of layers. However I was assured that come that evening I’d be glad of them.

The stunning view we had whilst we drank tea

Tea was served at tables on the edge of the lawn giving us all the opportunity to take in the view some more. Again a seemingly English affair with cups and saucers, milk and sugar (in Singapore you have to beg for milk) Although on tasting it was possibly condensed – but that didn’t spoil the moment.

Soon Tobgye, the owner of the hotel and his business partner and daughter Chukie came to meet us. It’s clear here is a man who has stories to tell – and he loves to tell them with aplomb. Not in a pompous or arrogant way, but in the way only someone who truly feels comfortable in his own skin can. Stories of past misdemeanours in the family, of the feisty Bhutanese battles with surrounding countries and most passionately of all, his Buddhist faith. Quoting various buddhist teachings he explained how he truly believes in karma and that we should all look towards altruism. He then invited us up to the altar room where he told us more of his fascinating families history and showed us family portraits and treasured Thangka’s (A buddhist painting on cotton or silk).

Tobgye Dorji – we were all fascinated by his stories.

Tobgye then led us all in a meditation which, considering was our first time together, proved to be easy to slip in to and thoroughly relaxing. Trying to stay awake was a challenge for all I think – and this is the challenge of meditation. Finding that space between relaxation and peace whilst awake. I would have loved to have taken time to do this every day of the trip, but it wasn’t to be.

The Gangtey Palace chefs provided a delicious lunch of rice, chicken, fish and vegetables and the local cheese which is very similar to Indian paneer. Highlights were definitely the delicious vegetable balls and some little dumplings filled with what tasted like spinach and ricotta. The traditional ‘Ema Datshi’ chilli kick was served as an accompaniment – which, Tobgye explained was his idea. He realised that the Bhutanese taste buds were slightly different to tourists – and he always ensured his guests were happy. This also meant limiting the amount of salt that would traditionally be added.

Eazy – a local side dish added to everything

Most of the group commented on the fact they had expected the food to be more ‘foreign’ and maybe difficult to enjoy at first – and considering we were a group including Chinese, Taiwanese, Australian, Singaporean, Brits, Czech’s and Americans – this wasn’t as ignorant as it sounds. Our guide Dorji said that things may differ at dinner (whilst laughing at our naivety).

As someone who doesn’t eat cheese and has a child’s palate for chilli, I had been a bit worried I’d be living off rice for the week. But, I was very wrong.

After lunch we headed to Thimpu and our hotel for the next few days. On the way we stopped at Tachog Lhakhang bridge. Apparently it was built over 600 years ago by a local engineer called Thangtong Gyalpo. He is said to have built around 58 iron chain suspension bridges around Bhutan and Tibet – many of which are still being used today.

Tachog Lhakhan bridge

Unfortunately the bridge was shut for repair, but we got a chance to cross the wobbly enough wooden bridge next to it. With its fluttering prayer flags and unusual chain mail construction, there was something haunting about the bridge. This ten minute walk also gave us a chance to see how we were coping with the altitude. And yes, most of us walked back up (the not very steep) incline puffing more than we would usually.

Thimpu

The twisty turny mountain road was not as hair-raising as I had expected, although bit queasy at times. Driving in to Thimpu I realised it’s much busier and more developed than I expected it to be. A mix of traditional style buildings and derelict looking places, as well as shops overflowing with local crafts, knick-knacks and souvenirs for the growing number of tourists now visiting. There are roads and pavements, but you need to watch your footing and take care as there are steep steps in many places, as well as the odd gap or two.

Thimpu was playing host to a car exhibition when we arrived which seemed to include a turn by local dancers, singers and a host who chattered away on the microphone. I didn’t actually see any new cars but just the logos. There was a pretty big crowd though and the heavy disco music went on for a couple of hours.

Street dancers doing their stuff

Walking around town I was struck by the number of people there were. Many in groups just hanging out it seemed. I walked down one side street which will now always be known to me as “meat street” where people were queuing for fresh chicken and other meat I couldn’t identify in the shops there. It didn’t smell very pleasant as you can imagine and as I walked through spotted a lady doing something with some dried fish which involved pulling off a part and chucking it behind her. I walked past without stopping.

Local farmers – or their family – were sat on the side of the pavement with their produce spread out in front them. Many people were walking along carrying bag loads of vegetables. And I don’t mean a bag load of vegetables. I mean one bag full of one vegetable – mostly chillies. I watched one lady crouching down filling a whole bag full of green, red and orange chillies. I seriously cannot imagine how long it would take my family to get through that many chillies. I’m starting to see what Dorji could be referring to.

Thimpu high street – where you could buy everything from ointment to shoes.

Some parts of Thimpu were not so pleasant to walk through if I’m honest, the drains full of rubbish, pavements with holes to break an ankle if you’re not careful and tired looking shop fronts that are maybe struggling to find a niche for themselves now. But, the overall feel of the town was quite festival like with lots of laughter and chat amongst people as they moved around. Stalls selling Cokes attracted a crowd and yet I didn’t spot any restaurants that seemed to be busy. Maybe that comes later in the evening?

The hotel itself – Thimpu Towers – was pleasant enough and offered a great view of the town square and the clock tower. The rooms are large and well equipped. I was slightly concerned by the supply of ear plugs though!

A developing city

Dusty, busy, lots of cars, lots of people, quite a few tourists. All things I didn’t think I’d use to describe Thimpu. But it is a busy city/town (by Bhutanese standards you understand). Rows of shops selling everything from balls and clothing to incense sticks and buddha statues. The streets are laid out in a way I couldn’t fathom, many steps up and down pavements, some missing steps where they were needed so jumping was the only option. The smell of petrol bothered me slightly and the number of stray dogs was also surprising. It soon becomes clear this is an issue in Thimpu as they sleep all day in the sun and bark all night. Apparently the government are introducing spading to reduce their number.

The Bhutanese people are also a mixed bunch. Men seem to have an air of authority about them wearing their traditional Goh, as many do. It’s funny to see them reach in to their Goh and pull out things randomly – it’s where they keep phones, keys, notebooks, sweets. cigarettes – you name it, it’s tucked away neatly. In fact, it often explains the portly shape of some of the men.

Dorji, our lead guide, in his traditional Goh

Lots of young people can be seen hanging around and children roam freely in the way children did back in the ‘good old days’. Sometimes their closeness to traffic made me gasp, but it’s clear these kids are street smart from an early age.

The women in their Kira amazed me with their elegance in heels, especially on the broken pavements and steep kerbs. Many are made up beautifully and I’m ashamed of myself for being surprised at this. Why wouldn’t women in Bhutan use make up and do their hair after all?

A wander along the craft stalls shows the various traditional crafts Bhutan is rightly protecting. Silk wall hangings, hand-made paper, simple knitted scarves, beautifully decorated scarves and throws, prayer flags, woven bags, even a traditional archery stall. Many of them selling the same as the next person, but each one important to the survival of many of these handicrafts (see Choki school below). Apparently the stalls are subsidised heavily in order to offer the workers a way to continue their tradition.

Sightseeing in Thimpu

Despite the fact Thimpu is relatively small, there are a number of sightseeing options. If you’d like to read about the places I visited, please click here. I also took on the ‘Tigers Nest Trek’ which you can find here. All of my cultural learning whilst there was part of a learning journey with Insightful Learning Journeys. which Founder Khatiza Van Savage facilitates. In this particular journey, I was included in a self funded volunteering and cultural immersion learning for Google Employees.

I travelled independently of the group but we met for breakfast and dinner most days. I also took part in my own mindful volunteering that you can read about here. As I was part of a larger group I was lucky to have a pick of wonderful guides – Dorji and his team of Bhakta, Thinley and Sonam are seasoned guides and drivers who have supported Khatiza Van Savage in her learning journeys for many years. They are proud and gracious Bhutanese nationals, well versed in their culture and eager to ensure that your journey is memorable on many levels.

The fantastic guides and drivers

LANDING AT PARO AIRPORT

For those, who, like my husband are airplane geeks here are some shots of the runway and airport. And, just for your enjoyment a video I took from Paro view-point of a plane coming in – amazing!

Flying in to Bhutan – a fantastic experience in itself

Please do click through to the links to read about the rest of my time in Bhutan.

With Christmas around the corner, the Supertrees will be in festive mood too with themed music and a special Christmas Wonderland event. Check out the website for more details. It gets VERY busy though, so be warned.http://www.christmaswonderland.sg/

Super Tree Grove at Gardens By The Bay

Where: 18 Marina Gardens Drive, 018953.

Why? To gawp at ‘super’ trees as they light up and sing. From an afternoon stroll to floating above the ground on the 22m high skyway there are lots of other ways to spend your time at Gardens By The Bay.When? Open every day. The ‘Garden Rhapsody’ is on twice an evening, check website for timings.Cash heavy? Some parts you pay to enter, for example it’s $5 to go on the OCBC Skyway, but you can go and marvel at the super trees for free. Kid friendly? Yes, plenty of space to walk, push a buggy and let them wander (keeping an eye near the water areas of course). There is a specific children’s garden (that I’ll cover another time).Dog friendly? Dogs are allowed on lead in the outside gardens but not on the Skyway, children’s garden or in the conservatories.Disabled access?

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As a writer you get used to being in your own head – and space. It’s a well-known fact that writing is one of the lonelier jobs. Ernest Hemingway once said: “writing, at it’s best, is a lonely life” he wasn’t wrong.

Hours spent tapping away at the keyboard filling the blank pages, or not. Deadlines being met in the middle of the night as the day has been taken up with research. Sat on your own in your ‘writing space’ – be that a spare room you’ve converted in to a writing office, a corner you’ve managed to snatch in the house, or maybe simply the kitchen table or propped up in bed. Wherever you are writing, it’s likely you’re doing it alone.

Writers block is real

In fact, it can be crucial to the job.

For me, I need quiet, I need calm, I need to not have music playing or tv on in the background. Which is why the middle of the night tapping becomes a necessity sometimes; working around the family.

A study by Kay Jamison, professor of psychiatry at John Hopkins University found that writers are ten to twenty times more likely to suffer from depression than other people. Why is this?

Not getting to speak to anyone but your keyboard all day must have something to do with it. Some even go so far as to say we need it to aid creativity. From Sylvia Plath to JK Rowling, depression has played in a part in their lives, and possibly their creativity.

I’m not sure about this. What I do know though is that I love writing and happen to be half decent at it. But, I don’t particularly like working at home, feeling isolated and not being part of team as it were.

Interestingly, what isn’t widely looked at is how other people working at home on their own cope. The freelance accountant working from a home office after setting up on his own, the stay-at-home mum who is managing a craft business between nappy changes, the entrepreneur building an empire from her kitchen table, the website designer who is a single parent and therefore can only work school hours. All of these people, and many more, work from home on their own. Either because of necessity, practicality or lack of choice. Maybe a combination of all three?

Studies show time and time again that those of us working at home alone are more prone to depression and anxiety. With only ourselves to answer to we often berate ourselves for not getting as much done as necessary and let things slide that we really shouldn’t (working in your PJ’s, why not?)

Well, why bother, no-one will know right?

Which is why I started looking for other options. I wanted to continue to work for myself and be my own boss. But I wanted to feel part of a working community. I needed to stay freelance and work around the family but wanted the stimulation of working amongst other (like-minded) people.

The answer came in the form of co working.

Moreover co working spaces.

I know, it all sounds very hippy-dippy and free loving doesn’t it?

It’s not. It’s a business that is growing daily and could be in your neighbourhood very soon, if it’s not already. In essence co working spaces are shared working spaces. An office set up that has various facilities – dependent on the space – from meeting rooms, free wi-fi, printers, photocopiers, conference facilities and so on. The first co working space was in San Francisco in 2005. By 2007 Google recorded ‘co working’ as a trend on its database. Since then the industry has boomed meeting the needs of lonely freelance workers all over the world.

It’s important to find the right space for you and your needs. Do you want somewhere that offers a spare desk in an existing office? These can often be good value, but you are working with people who are already part of another company. Or a purpose-built space specifically for freelancers like yourself where you can hire a desk on anything from a daily to hourly basis? A good option if you’re starting out and not sure how many days you need to be in the office. Another choice is what is known as co working ‘incubators’ where there is more of a slant towards start-ups and offer businesses the chance to connect with other businesses.

Also consider the environment and visit a few – often spaces will offer a trial day. For me, it had to be somewhere that was quiet – no noisy, sales based banter for example. Also find out the type of people the space currently attracts. If it’s like-minded people – be it creative, entrepreneurial or serious execs -they all could have something to offer or share with you. Be it contacts, advice or support.

What are the benefits of taking your job out of the home in to an office?

Maybe get to know like-minded people. Woolf Works

For me it was about being more productive – I get twice as much done in the office than I ever do at home. Without the fridge, kettle and dog to distract me and no door to answer I am getting more done.

I also found I’d often get stuck at home, lack of productivity meant lack of inspiration, meant lack of new ideas. Getting up in the morning and ‘going to the office’ gives me a clear focus and I try to make sure I have a plan of what I’m going to achieve that day. Not to mention the fact I get to slap on a bit of make up and brush my hair. Although this isn’t necessary as the dress code is, there is no dress code.

Not only that, I am getting to meet new people. People who have something interesting to say and who are interested in what I’m doing. It’s already opened up some promising work ideas and prospects too as even though we are all working on our own individual projects, there is a feeling of being part of a team.

The co working space I am working in is slightly different as it’s solely for women. This works for me, publishing has always been heavily female dominated anyway so I’m used to it. Michaela Anchan, the founder decided to open Woolf Works only to women for a number of reasons, not least of which being it’s often harder for women to re-enter the work place after having children. Her aim with the business was simple, to offer a space and community that can help women find the valuable support and connections they need to thrive.

Come and join the co working revolution

There are plenty of other co working spaces here in Singapore including those that offer child minding facilities, (Trehaus), a beer garden (The Working Capitol) and dedicated spaces for craftsmen (The Refinery Workshop). Just google co working and you’ll find something that is ideal for you.

Another advantage of joining the
co working revolution I’ve found useful is that if, like me you find a good space manager they also facilitate and organise training courses, business networking opportunities, lean in circles and support for improving not only your business but your wellbeing. What’s even better is you can choose not to go if you like without the fear of your boss asking why you didn’t go along.

It all works out rather well. I choose when I want to go in, I decide if I want to hold (or attend) a meeting, I pick and choose what jobs I do and get on with them without interruption. I’m inspired by the people I work amongst and am encouraged to aim higher. I even drink tea and get to have something other than a ham sandwich for lunch.

Add to that the social meet up once a month, Oh, it’s almost like being back in Broadwick Street in the 90’s – minus the ad execs and drunken secretaries!

When you move to another country you have to make new friends. Fact. But what you may not realise is that you will still rely on your friends back home to be there for you. Even though they can’t actually be there. You need to find a way to keep the connection going. For me this meant the start of what became known as ‘The Toilet Selfie.’

Yes, you heard right. The Toilet Selfie. Say it fast, it sounds great fun! Do it fast. It’s even funnier!

This craze has built up quite a following over the past two years, with not just me indulging in this rather odd pastime. Oh no! Obviously my friends at home have been ‘involved’ But also some friends here too. Then there’s my mum, my friends mums, our daughters, friends of friends and their daughters. I don’t think any man has got involved yet (although my Son has snuck in one). But there’s still time.

So let’s go back to the beginning. It started with a Whatssap group amongst a few of my closest friends back home. Initially I’d message a few times a week (maybe more) and fill them in on what I was doing. They heard about the day I screamed the house down when I bought a chicken complete with head, feet and claws, they knew I’d developed a look akin to Monica from Friends in that episode in Barbados. I told them my triumphs – making it to the supermarket and back without getting lost. My failures – THAT waxing story.

In return they kept me in the loop of things going on back home. Just a quick “hi, how are you?” made my day.

Then one night very early on hubby and I had been invited out with a group we didn’t know. It was one of those social events organised by an expat group. All very nice, all very friendly. Except after an hour or so I really wasn’t enjoying myself. I went to the loo and just happened to get a ping from a friend in our Whatssap group asking how I was doing. I sat in the loo for a while having ‘a virtual chat’ about how I was so hot I could melt as I’d stupidly gone out in jeans, how the night wasn’t that great etc. etc.

Then, for reasons I’m still not sure of, I decided to send a selfie of me looking frizzy haired and sweaty, whilst I was in (NOT ON I hasten to add!) the loo.

Of course, they all could see I was in the loo and laughed at my insalubrious choice of setting for my self pitying selfie moment. From then on it became almost a challenge to find a worst setting for my toilet selfies.

But, as funny as this was, it went deeper than that. When you are out meeting new people, it can be quite hard work. Not all the time. But sometimes. Sometimes you just don’t click. People you thought you’d get on with you find you have nothing in common with. At those times it’s like a comfort to pop off and have a quick chat with my buddies back home, who know me, who get me and who always lift my spirits.

After a while though it was no longer about that. It also became about celebrating being out and having fun. The Toilet Selfie became funnier, more drunken sometimes yes, but the smiles were real. Things had improved and my lovely friends at home were there for that too.

When I let my closest friend here in Singapore in on my secret hobby she insisted I blog it. Apparently it’s a ‘lovely story about friendship’ not to mention great fodder for the funniest pics you’ll see on here. Toni, how did we never get a pic of us having a Toilet Selfie?

Having thought about it, she’s right. So, as a thank you to my girls back home – Victoria, Hazel, Tracey, Liz, Kellie and although late to the party, always there in spirit, Gill. For holding me up when I needed it most. For being the kind of friends who I can come back to and pick up right where I left of. For being daft enough to find taking a picture in a toilet hilariously funny and heart warming all at the same time.

To those of you going out tonight with people you don’t know…

Tonight could be the night you meet your Singapore Bestie, or Besties. If not, pop to the loo and message your friends back home and let them know you’re thinking of them. Better still take a little pic of yourself and send it to them and wait for the funny comments to come in. If you do though, you have to send it to me too as I own all rights to Toilet Selfies. Fact!

And to those new friends I’ve made here. Well done on making it through the first night out with me. If we haven’t already – fancy a toilet selfie one night?

NB: Apologies for gratuitous pictures of me all over this piece but really, there’s no better way of explaining the phenomena. Also apologies to those friends who have been featured without first gaining permission, I tried to ask most of you. Feel free to ignore all future Whatssap message from me.

Many years ago, before kids, marriage and responsibility my husband and I – quite adventurously for the time – decided we wanted to go to Thailand. More than that, we wanted to go to an island that was pretty unknown then called Koh Samui. We booked a flight with an airline called Britannia and as this was the early 90’s and there were no direct flights from the UK , we stopped to refuel in Bahrain. I can picture the arrival in to Koh Samui so well even now – we swooped in on a strip of a runway and walked through a hut with a straw roof to collect our bags from the room they called the baggage area.

The next two weeks were, I remember, absolute bliss. Tropical beaches, lovely hotel, nights spent drinking cocktails on the beach listening to The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, sunshine every day and tropical storms that blew away as quickly as they arrived. By the hotel were a few bars and restaurants to wander to every night and we were welcomed by the friendliest, warmest people you can imagine.

We talked about going back for years. We were both convinced the island – having obviously now grown to be tourist hotspot – couldn’t live up to our possibly rose-tinted memories. If we were going to go back it had to be for something – or somewhere – special.

Enter Samujana…

There’s special… and then there’s Samujana

Sat atop a hillside on the northeastern coast of Koh Samui and overlooking a picture perfect cove, this resort (and I use this term loosely as it’s nothing like a ‘resort’) is more than special. Each of the 20 or so luxury villas have been designed by award winning architect Gary Fell of Gfab Architects and are very cleverly built amongst the original rock outcrops and indigenous trees of the hillside – and they all have jaw dropping sea views.

All of the villas offer stunning views of the coral bay

Every villa looked amazing on the website. Infinity pools, private gyms, the talk of comfy slumber areas and extensive living and dining areas. We also loved the sound of ‘the latest in audio and media amenities.’

Ahem, excuse me. This was the undersell of undersells – see excited children later on.

We flew with Asia airlines, our first time with this particular airline and we were pleasantly surprised. Good service, plane was comfortable and as spacious as you’d expect on a short haul economy airline. A special mention though has to go to the safety video. I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t seen it – but if there were awards for such things, Air Asia would win for entertainment, comedy and originality!

The airport had changed – there was more than one hut and a ‘street’ of shops and even a proper baggage belt now. But still it was without any of the stress and manic feel of most other airports and it still held the same quaint charm it had all those years ago.

We were met at the airport and led to our bus where the fun started immediately. As we pulled away we were asked if wanted music – of course we did! On went the music and disco lights and up went the volume and all of a sudden – much to the kids delight – we were on a party bus. It was hilarious and surreal at the same time. Shame the villa was only a ten minute journey as the kids were having so much fun.

Coming in to Samujana doesn’t feel anything like driving in to a resort. Villas aren’t packed together fighting for the best view and it’s almost as if you are being given a neck massage as you pull up. Honestly it has, you know, THAT kind of feel.

Villa 22, which if I tell you was originally planned as two villas, will give you an idea of how big it is, was perched just around the first bend. We were immediately welcomed by our beaming villa host X (yes that was his name – when I asked how to spell that he grinned at me and said “with an X, no more”) who took us on a guided tour of the villa and made us the first of many refreshing lime sodas.

For the gym bunnies

Anyone listening to us as we were shown around would have been intrigued immediately. Lots of sharp intakes of breath (the size of out bathroom), oohs and ahhs (our own treatment room), squeals of delight (a full size pool table AND a tennis table) and Wows! (a private cinema room with thousands of films to choose from). The excitement caused by the state of the art gym and huge infinity pool complete with inflatable turtles was infectious.

Movie night takes on a whole new meaning here!

Honestly, having seen all six bedrooms and nine bathrooms and then settling ourselves in to just two next to each other, we did say this would be much more suited to an extended family gathering rather than just the four of us on a quick family holiday. We would be literally rattling around. But that was ok, we don’t mind a rattle!

It wasn’t long before the kids were diving in the pool and hubby and I were relaxing on the sun beds smiling smugly at our good fortune to have found somewhere so amazingly stunning. From there things just got better and better and more and more relaxed.

With our own private cook available in the villa breakfast was a feast – of many courses. Granola, cereals, fresh fruit, yoghurt, pastries as well as a selection of cooked food from omelettes to french toast, we were totally spoilt for choice. After the first morning we realised not to scarf down everything laid out for us on the table as this was just the start. X and our sweet housekeeper/chef would continue to bring out food. Literally we ate like Kings.

Lunch could be ordered from X too with a wide and varied menu to choose from. The chef can prepare a barbecue or a feast, whatever you want, you could have. We chose to eat out most nights and again X was on hand to recommend restaurants and arrange transport to the local town of Chaweng, or wherever it was we wanted to go. He even took us himself in his own car when he could.

We spent the week in total zen like relaxation. Reading, snoozing and playing in the pool with the kids when they weren’t playing table tennis or watching another movie in the cinema. Music is fed through speakers throughout the villa and you can choose to hook up your own music or listen to what is there. X had a penchant for soft reggae it seemed as often we’d have that playing – which seemed to suit the laid back mood perfectly.

The ideal beach for a spot of skimming stones

Samujana’s private beach

All of the staff we encountered whilst there could not have been friendlier or more accommodating. From the guys watering the grounds to the security men at the gate. We took a walk down to the private beach one day – carrying a bag prepared for us by X with water and towels in – and spent an enjoyable hour or so skimming stones and swinging on the tree swing that’s hung there. The beach wouldn’t win any awards for beauty as it’s very rocky and the sand is more shingle, but it’s not a bad place to while away some time.

Ssh! Don’t tell Nanna.

We were surprised to see X on our walk back who had kindly come along to carry the bag back and offered us a lift on the back of his moped. Now, don’t tell Nanna, but both children were delighted to jump on the back one at a time and be whizzed (carefully and considerately!) up the short hill to the villa. He even came back and offered hubby and I a lift. We declined as figured we needed the exercise.

If you’re feeling energetic there is a tennis court and Samujana also offer a number of different experiences should you wish to indulge yourself. These include chartering a luxury 43ft catamaran, diving and snorkelling and cooking classes or yoga. Last year saw the launch of Samujana’s Wellbeing experience which offers bespoke wellness and fitness services working with some of the top therapists and experts on the island. A great idea if you want to kickstart a healthy regime or re-boot your body.

We did neither I’m sorry to say. We just relaxed and made the most of it. We explored the island a bit too as wanted to see how much it had changed. And there’s no denying it has. Chaweng is now a town teaming with restaurants, bars, massage parlours, tattoo studios, boutiques and nail bars, to name but a few. Tourists are aplenty and the atmosphere is a mix of hippy student backpackers and family holiday. But go a little deeper and you and still find the charm of old Koh Samui. Simple villages with a couple of places to eat and locals going about their daily business.

Lots of space to spread out and relax.

We had the most wonderful week at Samujana and will look forward to going back one day. Next time though we’ll take a few people to enjoy the stunning villa with us. In fact, we both said what a fabulous place it would be for a celebration like a ‘big’ birthday, family reunion or a wedding. With a dining table that seated 12 comfortably, huge comfortable sofas aplenty, six bedrooms and nine bathrooms it easily has the room. Even if you have little ones -as long as you were cautious with the stairs and the pool – it would be great as there was plenty of grass area to play on and of course, being Samujana they could even offer a nanny service to help you relax a little more.

Obviously with this kind of luxury comes a larger than life price tag. But if you were sharing the cost with one or even two other families it really is worth every penny (in fact, it’s worth it for a special treat regardless).