ARA: What to do about a coach

How does one handle a “difficult” high school coach? My son’s coach clearly dislikes him. He cannot seem to do anything right. We have NEVER had an issue with a coach EVER. If this was a teacher, I would have NO problem setting up a meeting to figure out what the issue was. But as any of you who have children in sports know, coaches are an entirely different issue. We have spoken to our son and he is at a loss. By the way I know my kid is far from perfect, but I repeat we have never had ANY type of conflicts with any of his coaches EVER. The season is just beginning and of course I will give it some time, but if the situation does not improve, I feel it should be addressed.

5 Responses

first have the child speak with the coach, if that doesn’t work then you speak with the coach, if still unsatisfied, the A.D……that is the proper protocol IMO….and clearly looks like you are interested in settling the “issue”

Unless he’s putting your kid in physical danger somehow – keep your mouth shut. Your child will have to deal with difficult teachers and bosses in the future and will just have to learn to deal with it.

If you complain or anything – your child will suffer due to lack of playing time for sure. Stinks I know – but that’s human nature!

It is disgustingly obvious that some coaches have favorites, including allowing SOME kids to play through 90% of the game while others sit on the bench. Indoor soccer (which is costly) was infuriating. (Coach didn’t even show up most of the time and put a parent in charge, also.).

If it’s a school event, perhaps consider speaking to the Board of Education or the superintendent, and I would avoid any extra costs, i.e., special event games a good distance away, etc.

As a former coach, I have some advice. Like ds said, have your child talk to the coach first. Have him ask his coach what he can do to improve, what he needs to fix, etc. If this does not seem to work, then ask to have a meeting with coach after practice. DO NOT go in with your guns blazing and saying “You hate my child! He can’t do anything right!”. Ask the coach why it seems that your son is having a hard time this year and what you may be able to do to help. Sometimes coaches may seem tougher on some kids then others because they see the potential in them. That is what I always told the kids I coached. If I am tough on you it means that I believe in you and know you can do better. If I am ignoring you and not saying anything at all then that means I feel like there is nothing else I can do to help you. So be thankful when I am tough because that means I believe in you.

Everything Nikki said is right on. I was about to say the same thing. Relax, it’s a high school sport. Have son speak politely – and with the intent to learn and grow – with coach. “What can I do to improve/get more playing time, etc.?” If it continues and your son has made improvements and shows coach he wants to improve, then the 3 of you should informally meet to discuss what the coach sees in your son (or doesn’t see) and come up with a game plan. Continue with follow ups with coach – “we worked on this….do you think he’s better at…”. If he’s publicly humiliating your son, chances are you knew he was that type of coach going into the sport and there isn’t much you can do (that others before haven’t already done) except sit the season out and that’s OK, too. Good luck.