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Encouraging Twins to Have Their Own Personalities and Interests

To encourage twins to have their own personalities and interests, parents can do the following:

Give them names that are dissimilar. Paired names such as Sandy and Cindy do not encourage individuation.

Refer to the twins as two kids rather than one set of twins. This sounds like a fine point distinction, but the subtle difference helps shape the paradigms held by each twin.

Spend one-on-one time with each twin.

Reward good behavior and redirect not-so-good behavior in a manner that is specific to each child: don’t reward both kids for the behavior of one of them, for example. Similarly, praise abilities individually. For example, you may say, “Paul, you did a great job today on your memorization of the alphabet! Well done! And Marcus, you did a great job today on your finger painting! Your artwork is beautiful!”

Give them toys of their own, toys that are differentiated (i.e., tricycles of two different colors).

Enroll them in a variety of activities and keep them in only those activities that interest them as individuals. For example, initially enroll them in music appreciation, soccer, scouting, and finger painting classes; keep each twin in only those activities that suit him/her. You can subsequently broaden his/her experience in those areas of interest. For example, if one of the twins is athletically inclined and loves soccer, perhaps you can sign him/her up for track and field or some other sport so that s/he can try a variety of athletic endeavors.

Recognize that each of your kids will develop their own friends; when this happens, arrange separate play dates for them.