"You can pretty much shake the bedickens out of it."
- yes, "bedickens."

"Babies don't go in the toilet!!"

"You don't get hurt if you don't fall."
- what?

Cleaning the basement, Jesse was on a spree of throwing things away:
Me: what are these pictures?
Jesse: trash, just pitch them.
Me: they are our engagement pictures!!!
Jesse: oh yeah? Trash.

Me: we need to get the girls a pygmy goat!
Jesse: great, that's the one that will get eaten by a coyote.
Me: I'll cry. That's the one they will have named Elsa.
Jesse: then they'll just have to "let it go"...

oh the places you'll go.

"Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout..Do your worst, for I will do mine! Then the fates will know you as we know you.."--Count of Monte Cristo