FIRE BROKE out on Helsby Hill, Cheshire, on Friday 29 June 2018. Social media carried rumours and speculation about the fire and how it started. The fire service said the blaze began by accident. The following is an imagined version of events.THE FIRE happened…

DEAR GOD, Attaca wished she could awake one morning and find herself transformed into a large black beetle. That would be so exceptionally pleasing. The most important thing would be not to panic and instead of any nonsense about trying…