Ep 454: Electro Pollution

Here is the first spoken word piece I wrote for the Get Poetry open mic poetry slam I’ve been filming and streaming live. Remember, if you are local you can come down to the Boiler Room every Sunday (Except February 6th because of the Super Bowl), and watch the Flathead Valley’s best poets and newest faces recite their poetry.

I’m not a demon of a democrat with a rental van and primo dental plan who repo’s your gentle hand. I’m not a republican who plucks his skin and ducks within shady dung that lands on the tips of your hateful tongues. I’m not the idea of an American dream armed with nukes that puke death on land that we’ve seized. I’m not a radioactive bomb dropped on screams, living with people who have no idea what it means. I’m not into hugging trees or thumping bibles or spinning statistics so they fit my conspiracy theory rivals. I’m not the idea of a 24 to 30 something demographic dirty husband abusing every little honey within view of his flirty dungeon. I’m not the idea of an obligatory eye sore built to encourage the population to cry more. I’m not enjoying the fact that our brothers and sisters went to war years ago and some never came back. I’m not a tight rope act tying a noose around my neck, as one last safety precaution to do before I’m dead. I’m not the idea of a corn fed wonder bread porn wed blunder head spreading seed under every torn dress to give birth to more dead. I’m hot water stress down the drain in a cold bath waiting to feel some of that old wrath. I’m the idea of a plus five gold staff given to you by some 89 year old man. Beard white hat grey, as if you didn’t know the look, i had a dream once where he wrote in my book. I flipped through ancient pages until I came across, this ageless mosaic on a tablecloth, the words were faded but still made sense, so I aimed them straight at my favorite chest. It was odd to read but still sensing triumph was that little quote in my head by William Jennings Bryan. Destiny is no matter of chance, It’s a matter of choice as a matter of fact. Ideas imprint on mind get transposed over a warm fire and a glass of red wine. I’m the world in a nutshell who’s guts tell you what deluge to hunt for spare food. I’m duck tales in a rare mood suited up in the bare nude powerful unwavering just to declare truth. I am the idea of a wandering soul going anywhere in the world I’ve ever wanted to go. I am the embodiment of free will enlightenment in association with what I’ve learned from my environment. I’m a double blind study druid using the power of words and music to capture the essence of everything fluid. I’m a student of movement, loose clothes and magic in the shape of a cavity in your tooth laughing at tragedy.

Welcome to the Friday episode. Join us as we broadcast live from beautiful Kalispell Montana on Jamhole Tv every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 7pm PT. 10pm ET. Call us when the show is live at 406.204.4687.

Hey beggar lady down by Starbucks, if you spent half the time you spend out there begging, looking for a job, you could actually make YOUR OWN money. Stop trying to survive leaching off of everyone else’s hard work. I will try and bring you a job application next time I see you.

Be a Jamhole on location reporter! If you see a weird church sign, news article, or just something random and stupid where you live, email it to info@thejamhole.com and become part of the show! Redfox sent in a God Speaks sign. “God answers Knee-Mail! DERB E Derp. He also calls in to discuss Electro-Pollution with us.

I am so broke it’s not even funny. We haven’t even come close to making our goal of $250 for the month. Thanks to everyone that donated to get us to $40, I guess I’ll cover the rest. Let’s please try and do better next month.

Have you seen the local Valley Views news paper? No negative news is their angle. I like it. Not as much as I like negative news, but you get the picture. I found an article in the paper about electro-pollution. What do you think of this? Bullshit? Truth? Email info@thejamhole.com or post in the comment section, or the forums. You pick.

Let’s point our skeptical eye to the LiveGia.com website. This place is ripping people off by selling them bullshit products. Not nice. I wish I would have thought of it. Look at the amount of scam products they are selling based on a fear mongering article with no scientific evidence to back it up. I’m sorry we spent so much time talking about this crap, but I get so angry when people are blatantly taking advantage of other people like that. If your product actually did anything, you wouldn’t have to put those warnings at the bottom of your site.

AK Jeremy calls in to further solidify the fact that each and every product on the Live Gia website is bullshit. Call Ming Lovejoy at 406.212.2729 or email her ming@livegia.com if you are interested in their line of bullshit products.

I saw the most awesome accident up by the Junior High today. It’s so much fun to make eye contact with other people while they are driving. Try this at home! You totally pushed your snow plow right up that cars ass. NICE! Just another perk of my job.

If we wish hard enough, this dead body IS going to come back to life. Just because the Mad Scientist in the movie Frankenstein did it, doesn’t mean that it will work in REAL LIFE. Can we separate what is real and what isn’t? That’s sometimes harder than you would think.

Hey, are those 100 dead cats in your freezer or are you just happy to see me? This is just a normal every day story of a witch getting persecuted / prosecuted for her beliefs… Oh yea, and for keeping 100 dead cats in her freezer. I’m sorry, the world would be a lot cooler if magic was real, but since it’s not, its completely silly and childish to believe in said magic.

A Brazilian man was arrested for keeping his wife locked in the squalid cellar for 16 years while he lived with another woman in the same house. Now that’s how it’s done. If you don’t want to be locked in the cellar, you had best step up your wife game.

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