Gizmodo Detective's Log, 3 April 2011 - The poor schmuck. Wife just couldn't take it anymore. Seat up, seat down—didn't matter. Was the loud late-night seat slam that did him in. Shoulda gone with the Kohler.

At least with the Kohler Transitions "Quiet-Close" he might have stood a chance. A few more hours, at least. All those years of angst and arguments with the misses were going to lead to somethin' violent, this is true, but with the Quiet-Close he'd have bought himself one additional day. Maybe coulda' got the heck out of Dodge that morning before she woke up all full of piss and vinegar.

Instead, he played the sap and put off the Quiet-Close installation. Planned on doing it this weekend, from the look of the Kohler box sitting unopened in the garage. Now he's pushin' daisies, and it all started with a late night toilet seat slam that woke a monster.

That's one toilet seat he's definitely not glad he put down.

So anyway, Kohler has this toilet seat that prevents those annoying late night toilet seat crashes that inevitably happen when everyone in the house is trying to get a sound sleep. It's a real thing! Kid-friendly too, which anyone with kids will tell you is probably very welcome. Happy, quiet homes, and all that.

And oh hey, I've done this kind of silly post before, so just relax. It's a Sunday thing: