In all seriousness, statis stretching prior to training should be limited in duration but can be part of a well thought out warmup. If you look at Joe Defranco's Agile 8 and Simple 6 warmups those both include some static stretching however it limits most movements to 45 seconds per bodypart. Eric Cressey in his book Maximum Strength included static stretching not to exceed 20 second per movement in his warmups.

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"And for crying out loud. Don't go into the pain cave. I can't stress this enough. Your Totem Animal won't be in there to help you. You'll be on your own. The Pain Cave is for cowards.
Pain is your companion, don't go hide from it."
-Kelly Starrett