To Thank or Not to Thank Online

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” – Marcus T. Cicero

“No one who achieves success does so without acknowledging the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.” – Unknown

Saying thank you is common courtesy and today’s technology enables us to show gratitude more easily than ever. But just because we can speedily tweet or otherwise post a one-liner thank you, does that mean that we ought to?

Some people feel that there is already too much noise online, and those who continuously post thank you notes for ReTweets, Likes, Recommendations, and new Followers are gridlocking the Internet and impeding more productive conversations

So the question is, How “valuable” are thank yous?

Here are some steps to help you decide how to handle the gratitude dilemma for your own online practice.

Ask yourself how you feel when someone thanks you online? What if that someone has thousands of followers on one of the social media channels? Your name would be broadcast to huge numbers of people outside your own network.

And if you are the one with the scores of followers, you would be the person boosting someone else’s influence. Actually, the whole idea of the “Like” feature is to rebroadcast someone else’s content to a new community of possible viewers.

Consider the implication of never acknowledging someone else. “Never acknowledging or thanking someone, especially for recommendations, may give off the impression that you’re concerned only with yourself and your place in the social community,” wrote Ashleigh Grange.* She believes that if someone goes out of his or her way for you, then you, too, should make the extra effort to thank them for their time, interest, and kindness.

Ashleigh follows this same philosophy of gratitude when it comes to her customers: “I think it’s a key quality of being a social, involved member of social media channels,” she wrote.

Think about one of my favorite sayings: “If it’s too easy, there must be a better way.” If you simply post something like “Thanks @sharisax for the RT,” you are not adding much to the conversation. Rather, write a personal insight with your thanks or go a step further – especially if you are trying to build a relationship – and share a comment posted by that person.

“If I take the time to do someone an actual, in-depth favor, and the response I get is a simple thanks, it doesn't seem sincere,” wrote Bija Andrew Wrigh. He suggested gathering all of the people who have helped to promote you into one blog post, maybe even in a video blog “for the personal touch.”

Ask yourself exactly WHY would you want to thank someone online? What do you hope to gain? Perhaps there are more productive, ie, “valuable” ways to show gratitude than a simple tweet or post. Here are a few ideas:

Some social media experts suggest that you should focus on a select group of people who are particularly evangelical about your content. These people you want to make a point to publicly communicate with via @ replies or other praise on another site [from Anthony Lee].

More repeated retweets and promotions result from this strategy practiced by Thursday Bram: “My philosophy is not simply to thank for RTs or other promotion. Rather, I make a point of trying to do a similar turn for whomever I connect with. I'll comment on a blog post, answer a question or generally help with something that person is trying to promote,”

You can cut out some noise if you DM [Direct Message] your thanks on Twitter [as long as the two of you follow one another]; then only the recipient will see it. And when you begin a Tweet with the “mention” [ i.e., @sharisax], then only the people who follow both of you will see that particular Tweet.

Be wary of anything automatic or robotic like the DMs who thank you for following them on Twitter. They are a turn-off to many people who find the impersonal nature to be irritating and intrusive – especially when you simply followed them because they followed you first.

Finally, determine how much time should be spent giving thanks. Most people agree that if you thanked everyone for doing you an online favor, you’d be doing little else. One suggestion is to designate a specific block of time one day a week to focus on your gratitude efforts.

CONCLUSION

The consensus appears to favor some kind of online display of gratitude. If you agree, you might want to consider how some of the ideas listed above will help you engage more effectively online. This thinking can produce either a formal or informal thank you policy that can bring you measureable results in the form of more customers, partners, and friends.

*All quotes are from the responses to a question posted on LinkedIn asking people if they had a Gratitude Philosophy when it came to posting thank yous online.

Shari Weiss is a writer, teacher, editor, and marketing consultant who is working full-time on All Things Social Media. With a journalism degree from Northwestern University and a master’s in PR from Kent State, Shari has taught college courses in journalism, marketing and English for 20 years. In addition, she has edited an array of publications from Harcourt Brace Jovanovich trade magazines to a city-wide student newspaper.

Currently, she is the Chief Blogger for SHARISAX IS OUT THERE, in which she writes articles on a variety of social media categories, including How-To Lessons for social media beginners; Interviews with industry professionals; reports on meeting presentations; and strategies for social media marketing. She is also the Community Manager for Performance Social Media and leads workshops for entrepreneurs, small businesses, and university students. Her website is http://shairsax.com.

13 Responses to "How to Work Out a Gratitude Philosophy"

Your "Gratitude Philosophy", is a good one. Interact real-time with other Small Business Owners, and STUDENTS OF ENTREPRENEURSHIP (ages 12-25) at DavidsBarter.com—and help our Community create 1MM Small Business "Collaborative Clusters"…Posted by David Leopold

In my opinion, saying thank is simply basic manners. There's no need to "work out a gratitude philosophy" – if someone has done you a service, say thank you. It's as basic as that. Show appreciation, acknowledge the contributions of others. In Switzerland, saying thank you in a business context is not very widespread. The attitude is, "Well, he's being paid, isn't that enough?" The answer is definitely no. Particularly in our lonely profession, where we frequently communicate only by e-mail with our clients, a more human dimension is essential. I may be well paid for what I do, but any acknowledgement of my work – quality and promptness of delivery – is always music to my ears… And I attach great importance to thanking everybody for everything!Posted by Toby Alleyne-Gee

Good Post. My intention in networking is to get to know the professional expertise and skills of that individual and build longer term connections that enhance each others development and career goals. Plus knowing good people is a key to success. Instead of cluttered gratitude messages, I would like to see comments and debate to posted articles or happenings. That is where critical thinking present problem solving solutions. It's kind of like, I know what your doing, but now what? I am not looking to be thanked or liked all the time, I am looking for collaborative growth.Posted by Gloria J Bailey

Add a comment…I liked the article. I think saying thank you is very important. I'm new to social networking and I'm not sure if broadcasting an individual thank you is necessary unless someone has done an amazing thing for you. I do think that an individual thank you is essential and it should reflect your feelings.Posted by Susan Krantz, MA, RD, CDE

The "Law of Reciprocity" is one of the most important laws to successful marketing of any product. This works regardless of what you are selling and/or the business you are promoting and/or your personal relationships. We really do get back what we give, sometimes in odd or unusal ways. Regardless of product or situation understanding that we are relient on others for our success is fundamental, along with genuine gratitude towards those who buy or help us along the way.Posted by Susan E. Carr

Saying thank you is always important, off and on line so thank you for bringing up the topic. It goes with acknowledgement and acceptance and the article makes strong points about this tooPosted by Roberta Budvietas

I think nothing speaks volumes, like a hand written thank you. The fact that in this day and age, someone would sit down and write a thank you tells the recipient they are appreciated and worthy of our time.Posted by Lisa Patterson

Nice – Gratitude – is an exceptionally powerful word. Love to sit sometimes in silence and just breath ten things in my life that help me to smile each day…even if the smile is on the inside instead of outsite. For me – top on my list is the love of the written word and still even with E-books and the new digital world, I love and am grateful for the 100's and 100's of books we own and have read. Forever my memory will hold dear the smell of the paper of some of our books we have that are extremely old, yet holding together. And when we get a new print of one of our authors, the smell of that newly printed copy is another moment of gratitude that is extra perfect. The happiness that we and the author feel on that day is so very surreal.Posted by VicToria Freudiger

I'm trying to be a little less anal and stop correcting people, Toby, but
it doesn't come naturally. Last week I even managed to refrain from
correcting a friend who wrote me, "That movie doesn't interest John and I."
I was tearing my hair out, but I didn't mention it.Posted by Kathe Lieber

"thank you" for sharing this. I'd like to add two words, "Emily Post". Manners and etiquette communicate many things (respect, acknowledgement, appreciation) and are used to build and maintain good relationships, the foundation of civilized society, whether on-line or off.Posted by Eric Jacobs