Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Murphy's Law and God's sense of humor

We buy milk from a local dairy farmer who has pick-up locations at homes in different parts of the city. Tonight we went to a new location, after realizing it was closer and easier than the one we were previously assigned.

On our way there, the sky darkened, and it started to rain a bit. I had trouble finding the house at first, driving round-an-round, do-si-do, trying to find this home. Finally we found it, an old home with a driveway back to a carriage house-style garage.

"I'm going to run up to the front door and find out where the milk is, I'll be right back." I said to the kids.

As I stepped out of the car, I clicked the lock...

Immediately, as if on cue, the skies opened up, and God poured a swimming pool of water on my head. I kid you not, from my car to the front door, I was completely completely drenched.

I spoke to the homeowner, who informed me that I needed to go around to the back, in the garage.

Suddenly, my car alarm started to go off, the side slider door opened, and Terrified Child #1 emerged, shaking, running through the downpour to my side on the porch. Terrified Child #2 was standing at the door of the car crying, pleading with Terrified Child #1 to PLEASE come back.

So TC #1 and I ran back to the car, jumped in and shut the door.

Let us pause and note a few observations here:

It might be a good idea to note that my van has a safety feature where the alarm goes off if the doors are opened from the inside while the car is locked. This does a good job keeping people out. This doesn't necessarily do a good job keeping people IN. Particularly when those inside are Terrified Children.

When God dumps a swimming pool of water on top of your minivan while you are in it, you will experience a decibel level similar to if you were sitting on the wing of a jet engine during take-off.

When you experience a decibel level as described above, everyone in your minivan will be crying, but it won't really matter because you won't be able to hear them anyway over the roar of the water.

Don't bother trying to sing to pass the time while waiting for the rain to slow down. Nobody will listen to you be able to hear you.

So. We I sang. We I acted silly. We I tried to act like this deafening noise was really no big deal, how thankful we should be that there's no thunder, and how it was going to stop ANY TIME NOW!!!

Finally, I said phooey, I'm not waiting any more. I told the girls to be brave while Mommy runs out, up the driveway and in to the garage, and as quick as a wink, I'd be back to the car.

So, I stepped out of the car, I clicked the lock...

I was back into the torrential rains, fjording the 4 inch deep river that was their driveway.

I was one FOOT from their garage, when I saw it. A blinding light. I closed my eyes, and thought, "NO, Lord." But, yes, it was true... A second later,

CRACK!!BOOM!!BOOM!!RUMBLE rumblerumble

Oh... Boy... That was one of THOSE cracks of thunder, the kind that would wake you up if you were sleeping... I knew what was coming next, and sure enough, while I was loading up my milk,

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I made my way back through the rapids and to the car, where I could see AND hear 2 Terrified Children.

My car alarm is going off.

I am 10 pounds heavier from water weight.

There are 2 of MY children standing at the door of the car, hugging each other and sobbing.

Oh, that was a good story. You made it up right? :) Can you believe the things that happen? One day you will be so glad you wrote that down. Maybe at that point the kids will be done screaming and they'll laugh with you. :)