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Anything but “just”

It’s honesty time, people. If you don’t think you want to hear it or can’t handle it, move along. I don’t need you to hear it in order for it to be true. But here it is.

I’ve been having a rough time. Maybe it’s hormonal or maybe I’m weak or whatever, but seriously this is probably the struggliest struggle I’ve ever attempted to struggle my way through. It’s not “just” anything – it’s SO MANY THINGS all combined, and it’s overwhelming, and I’m drowning.

It’s to the point now that even a fairly minor change or disappointment wrecks my WHOLE DAY. I’m not even exaggerating. I can’t handle it.

Please don’t tell me it’s “just depression,” because if it’s “just depression,” I might be able to breathe. I might be able to stand up (instead of crippling on the floor in a puddle) after a friend cancels the plans we made to get together.

That’s not normal! But the truth is, my family and I have gone through a LOT recently:

I quit my job.

I became a full-time stay-at-home mom.

My husband quit his job.

He started a new job.

The girls left daycare and all their friends.

We moved away from all our friends.

We moved from the (sorta) city to the country.

We’re working to find routine and balance.

I realize that’s a lot to deal with in a short amount of time, so I’m trying to relax and take it easy on myself, my husband, our babies… It isn’t easy, though. So if you call me and I cry for no reason, don’t say ” just” to me. It’s not “just.”