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Alcoholics Anonymous

In the last four years of our lives we’ve had two (more) babies, moved three times, gotten sober, received a PTSD and TBI diagnosis, gotten medically retired from the military, begun ADHD testing and occupational/speech therapy, began learning trombone and gotten a book published.

Needless to say, because of all of the aforementioned crazy, things are a mess.

I’m not just talking dirt. I’m talking clutter, chaos, scootching things under things so I don’t have to look at them, dingy windows and souls, broken toys and hearts. There have been ruined clothes and dreams. Messy fingers, faces, rooms and lives.

Now that we feel more structurally sound I feel capable of tackling all of those messes I haven’t had time to work on. Now that we don’t feel like any mildly rushing wind will blow us over, I feel ready. It’s amazing what a shored-up foundation will do for a person.

As the caretaker of the bunch, even though organization is not my gift, I am trying. At first I was completely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of additional stuff I really needed to tackle. I have a lot of daily things that have to happen to get work done and children fed and clothed and bills paid and doctors visited.

Why on earth would I take on more?

This is the question Mr. Wonderful posed to me just this weekend. He couldn’t figure out why I was hustling and bustling about the house. And as y’all probably know, once you begin a project it somehow creates three additional projects. The cycle is exhausting so I admit, I see his point.

But in taking on our master bedroom closet, I had a little closet epiphany: bit by bit, these Wild Hair Weekends as Mr. Wonderful calls them (the ones where I get in a frenzy to get something accomplished) are really just my way of taking my life back.

Over the last four years, I have been undone and unsettled.

Understandably.

More life change has happened during that time than any other time put together. So I keep reminding myself that the messes that are all around me are pretty normal and I have to tackle them one at a time. Easy does it. Bit by bit.

(photo credit femaleentreprenuersassociation.com)

It’s taken a while to get this through to my stubborn self: you mean I can’t be Wonder Woman and just make it work out right now? One snap of my silver bracelets and evil is vanquished?

(photo credit wonderwomanfans.tumblr.com)

I wish.

This is why the Wild Hair Weekends exist. Not just to put our family back in order but to get my soul back in order too. To give myself breathing space and sweep out the cobwebs, both literal and figurative. To lessen the clutter and free myself of the baggage.

I’ve come to a conclusion recently. It is that some things in my life are here to stay. Some for the near future; some for forever.

And I can’t change a single one of them.

As much as I’d like to, I can’t make Mr. Wonderful’s PTSD go away.

The sensory issues that we’re just now helping the seven year old figure out and deal with: I can’t magically fix them.

My transition into speaking and writing won’t be hurried. I can’t control how crazy things seem to get around here all at once.

What’s a girl to do?

Breathe.

Relax.

Accept that there are things out of my control, and understand in my core that the only area I have any hope of exerting any influence over are my own reactions, thoughts and feelings.

Awhile back, Mr. Wonderful sought treatment for PTSD. Since that time, as part of his continued treatment, we have spent a fair amount of time in The Rooms of AA: Alcoholics Anonymous.

Sidebar: you will never meet a more welcoming group, be in the presence of more encouraging folks, or feel less alone than when you are at an AA or Al-Anon meeting. I wish everyone was required to go; the world would be a much better place if everyone had to do their own twelve steps.

The meetings always end exactly the same, no matter what meeting, what city, what Room we are in. Everyone joins hands in a circle and says…

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.

That’s my prayer today. For you.

And for me.

You can also connect with me on Facebook or Instagram at My Pink Champagne Life or on Twitter @MyPinkChampLife. I look forward to chatting more with you!

Welcome and Thanks for Visiting!

Author, speaker, and encourager. Mama of four, wife/battle buddy of Mr. Wonderful. I love Jesus, all things leopard print and adoption.
To contact me about speaking engagements or book signings, please leave a comment on the blog or send me an email at mertbb@yahoo.com. I would love to hear from you!