Can someone with a working knowledge of WordPress create some sort of autoexec file to put one of these up every day, along with a random image taken from the Google Image Search results page for “SEGA cosplay”.

Don’t take the image from the first 20 results. Take it from the bit you have to scroll down to see. We are edgy like that.

Last year was a pretty pathetic year overall for games, with far too many of the big names being sequels (in some cases sequels of sequels of sequels). In the spirit of helping your fellow man, here’s a little something to help the games industry come up with original ideas:

Take one idea at random from each column, and hey presto – an idea for a new game!

Really, really do not understand the modern world and don’t want to have any part of it any more. The best thing that could happen to society now is a nuclear war and subsequent forced return to subsistence living.

Is she… attempting to make it look like she knows you have to use your thumbs?

LONDON & SAN FRANCISCO (31st Jan 2010)— SEGA® Europe Ltd. and SEGA® of America, Inc. announced today that SEGA Rally Online Arcade™, a new HD title inspired by SEGA Rally Revo™ and SEGA Rally 3™, will be racing onto PlayStation® Network and Xbox LIVE® Arcade for the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft in 2011. SEGA’s arcade and console favourite will include a collection of new features, including the ability for gamers to race their friends online!

You heard it here first – Rockstar Games has no intention of making games with blue skies. Apparently they’re happy with brown cities full of junkies and whores.

A few weeks back while bored after Christmas, and with nothing on the telly I decided to write to Rockstar Games about their back catalogue. The email was perhaps a bit strong in its choice of language, but I didn’t really expect a reply anyway so I thought it might be fun to vent. The email went as follows:

From: Karl

Age: 27

Message:

As a long-time gamer, I have made purchase of many Rockstar Games products, starting with the original GTA for the Playstation (which was a shoddy port, sadly). I note with interest that Rockstar are keen on pushing an edgy, ‘adult’ image. But I feel your company has a lot to answer for. Not in a Jack Thompson, “videogames made my chid into a feral killer” kind of way. But the success of the GTA series has led to a lot of other companies following the money and now the market is saturated with crime games, rubbish free-roaming games (True Crime: Streets of LA, anyone?) and other assorted “adult” tat.

Is there any chance of Rockstar bucking the trend, and perhaps pushing out a cheery little happy game where nobody gets kerb-stomped? You could put it out on the PS Network and Xbox Live, and I bet that the media would be intrigued by such a volte-face. Or even on the App Store – you’d make a killing (no pun intended).

How about starting a reverse trend, Rockstar? Although I don’t think I will hold my breath.

However, about a week later I received this reply in my email inbox:

Hi Karl,

Thanks for your message. While we appreciate your point of view, we do stand by our catalog of titles as one that is indeed diverse and varied for many tastes. For every Grand Theft Auto title in our history, there is also a teen-appropriate Midnight Club racing game or a lighthearted title such as Bully or a Red Dead Redemption epic and dramatic western or even our occasional E-rated releases such as Table Tennis and the music-making title, Beaterator. We have always geared our releases to be cutting-edge, progressive entertainment and yes, many of those experiences are catered towards mature players – but hopefully you’ll stick with us and look forward to what we have lined up for 2011 and beyond including L.A. Noire, Max Payne 3 and more.

Cheers,

Rockstar Games

I would like to take the opportunity to reply to Rockstar Games by saying like fuck i will.