Parental Guidance Suggests You Never Say Die

Welcome back to another Parental Guidance column. Before we get started, I feel the need to define what a column is due to the consistent number of people on the Cinema Blend Facebook page who, after each column, reply by saying, "You already ran this story" or "He did this with another movie."

The dictionary defines a column as "a regular feature or series of articles in a newspaper, magazine, or the like... that reports or comments upon a particular field of interest." So to catch up the new readers, I crafted a plan to make my 15-year-old daughter, Allie, watch movies of my choice. While she is a pretty, smart, young woman, her cinematic expertise is weak. More importantly, I wanted to spend some more quality time with my oldest daughter before she heads off to college in a few years.

That is why the Parental Guidance column exists. I'm documenting the movies I watch with my daughter. Oh who am I kidding? The people who don't understand what a column is don't click links and read stories.

OK, enough of the dictionary lesson. If you want to read past Parental Guidance columns click here . If you would like to make suggestions for future movies to review, follow my new account on Twitter.

Besides writing Parental Guidance for Cinema Blend, I run a few niche websites. One of these is PopVinyls.com (shameless plug!). The other day, I received some merchandise to review and one of the pieces was this guy:

As I was geeking out over the retro styled piece, Allie walks in and asks who the ugly guy was. I quickly replied "Dude, it's Sloth." Sadly the look on her face made it pretty clear that she had never seen The Goonies. This is an example of parental oversight that I knew I needed to correct quickly. In fact, I ordered her to go into the living room immediately. Studying for her yearly exams could wait. I'm not joking. I told her she could study later. (Side note: she made an A on the end of course test. Thank God.)