Friday, May 30, 2014

surgery

Yesterday I met with Dr. Antoniuk for my final pre-op appointment. She still has remnants of her East Coast accent and while she is short in stature, she has a feistiness that is undeniable. She has already been turning over different thoughts on how she will do my surgery she says, since I last saw her.

She wants to see the wound again, and as I go to sit in her cream colored "dental" chair and she lowers me with the remote control by her foot, she exclaims, "you've cut your hair! Its been 9 days since I saw you and you are different already." Superman hadn't even noticed, the difference is so subtle, but she has.

I chuckle and assure her he doesn't. I am already struck by her attention to details.

She examines my scar and notices its flaking again, and brighter red. "Oh its angrier than last week, not good," she says as she shakes her head.

She then has me sit down next to Rick and she starts drawing a diagram. She is showing me how she will cut out the old incision and make it bigger, extending underneath my arm. She will then pull tissue up from my ribs, but from underneath my skin. "Tension," she calls it. I will feel it by my ribs, while the surgery site will be further above that area. She also may or may not have to move my pectoral muscle. She may or may not have to use a sheet of "dermis" to bolster the skin and make for good coverage.

So much will be determined by what she finds inside. She has a plan "A" and a few variations of that. Plan "B" is to take tissue and muscle from my back, making a flap of skin to put over my chest wall. Its a pretty extensive surgery and we would wait for another time to have that done.

Still, she goes over each scenario, in great detail.

She also promises to send a sample of the tissue to the pathologist so we can see if any cancer cells are present. I am more cognizant of this realization after the discovery made with my ovaries.

But what I can really tell? She has thought about this a great deal.

She is ready for me.

She heartily shakes my hand before she leaves.

Wednesday, June 11th, at the main Sanford Hospital, I will have my mastectomy site surgically repaired one more time. I am having work done by a plastic surgeon! Who would have ever thought? This will be the third time I've had work done to this area. This will be my fourth surgery related to cancer.

The clock is ticking… those 3 tumors residing in my chest are still in need of some attention. I need to get through surgery, so we can best decide how to go after my lung mets.

Jesus Calling (Sarah Young)

I am with you, watching you constantly. I am Emmanuel, God with you… Some of My children find Me more readily during dark times, when difficulties force them to depend on Me. Others feel close to Me when their lives are filled with good things. They respond with thanksgiving and praise, thus opening wide the door to My presence.

I know what you need to draw nearer to Me.

I am finding out whether I am in a sunlit meadow taking photos of new baby horses with their moms, or preparing for another surgical procedure, what I hear Him say… always… is… draw nearer.

20 comments:

My sweet Vicky, so glad you have a date for your surgery. Reading through your description of the surgery, it just amazes me all that doctors can do! As always my thoughts and prayers are with you daily and God is with you too wherever this journey takes you. It's so comforting to know that. Love and hugs my friend.

Thank you Eileen- it does feel like a transformation will occur that is hard for me to grasp with how it all looks now. She really gave me a good idea of what to expect and how it would look and feel. And God overseeing it all- I know I will be leaning on Him to see me through. Love and hugs to you!

I just discovered your blog today and just want to say someone is thinking of you and saying a prayer up in Chico, California today. You are strong and you have pretty toe nails-all important elements in this phase of life. Be well....you inspire. xx, Heather

Hi Melinda- seeing you here always leaves me with the biggest smile. The photos I've seen of the Azores look so tropical and inviting- would love to know more about your surroundings :) Thank you for those prayers and for your encouragement from so far away! Love and blessings to you!

Beautiful and real..real and beautiful..."draw nearer..and all shall be well..." you are still in my prayers. .prayers that this surgery will be a success and prayers that your lung mets...stay in a hold pattern and more prayers for all that is in your heart.. Much love, beautiful Vicky!

Oh my sweet friend,First, I am so relieved that your surgeon, Dr. Antoniuk, is so feisty and pays attention to details...haircuts, painted toes, Plan A , Plan B and helping this wound heal, once and for all. I picture her giving you the plan for how she will do this surgery and that gives me confidence that she is just the surgeon to help. The goal stays the same...more days, weeks, months, and years in more comfort and ease and healing and well being...and JOY and love.

I must admit that as you described the surgery, and what they will be doing, that I had a new understanding of the magnitude of their plans. Not a little deal this is, a big deal. And I sense you drawing nearer to Him for your strength and resilience in this next chapter. All will be well, sweet Vicky.

The "take away" for me in your heart-felt message is that He is with us, watching us constantly. The God who made the heavens and earth will not leave you. Not now, not ever.In the midst of this upcoming surgery, or working on your lungs, He is there. day and night. every minute. Along side you...and me. What a GREAT relief that is. What a JOY that is.

You are held tight, dear Vicky, by a God who made you and loves you and all the love of all of us who adore you. Every day, and especially days like June 11th, you are held up by the prayers of an army of prayer warriors. You are held tight and held up and all shall be well!

And to that I say a huge "Amen!" and I am grateful!Love you to the moon and back, friend!God Bless!Linda

Linda- Dr. A said "you deserve a break," and that spoke volumes to me that she gets what a burden would be lifted and how mentally this would provide a boost. Your assessment is spot on and I appreciate how you see the good intentions in it all.

You have this problem for such a long time Vicky. It would be wonderful to just get it better and put it behind you. I pray for your doctors' wonderful hands to heal you.She is a woman and a womans' touch is always good.

I have been delayed, but always, always it is a pleasure to sit near you. Please know how much I can always and love to hear your beautiful thoughts. June 11, I will mark it down on my calendar, set it aside for extra prayers for you. With love, your friend Roxane

The petunias that greeted me when I opened this blog to read it today are just beautiful, Vicky. Thank you for that ray of sunshine.Knowing that you are having upcoming surgery, I wanted you to be assured that prayers are doubled. Having a surgeon who not only notices you cut your hair but notices your painted toenails is the surgeon for me!! Love her already.Love you!!!

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About Me

I'm just a girl living the dream of being married to my superman, raising two active boys, and discovering more of who I am every day I am here. I'm currently undergoing treatment for breast cancer and learning how to expand my time, instead of worrying about extending it. So I am living my moments daily and blogging the whole crazy adventure.