Working Goats Around the World

Because hilarity exists on every continent.

For those not fluent in Japanese, this is a land clearing goat advertisement. 15,000 yen, or about $150 each per month. I’ve also seen photographic evidence of at least one person hiking with goats in Iwakuni, Japan.

Supposedly part dragon, part unicorn, and part velociraptor-clawed goat, this mythical Chinese being is 100 percent awesome. With the innate ability to distinguish between right and wrong, the “xie zhi” (mythical unicorn) rids the world of wrongdoers by goring or clawing them to death. Given their expertise in the world of legal matters, these fire-eating dragon-goats with claws of omnipotent justice were called in by top lawyers during the Tang dynasty (618-907 A.D.) for consultation on legal cases. (By some accounts, the “xie zhi” only appeared when a person was wrongly accused of a crime, making the whole judicial process pretty superfluous. Cases were also recorded where the justice-goat simply gored the guilty to death with a velociraptor-esque claw on its foot.) Also emblematic of “upright and honest” people in later years, justice-goats were featured on official badges and in courtroom statues. But no matter how you slice it, you don’t want to be on the wrong side of this impaling, law upholding fire-eating-goat-thingy.

In Sweden Santa rides on a goat to bring presents to little kids instead of reindeer, and each year people build giant straw goats…and do what humans always do with a massive pile of combustible materials. Set it on fire and celebrate!