Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Ass b'long tok-tok

One of my friends has a business that brings him into daily contact with quite a number of people. He is one of the rare Democrats in North Idaho and is, as we all are, surrounded by Republicans (I do not refer to North Idaho Republicans as Brafia as they are so far out of the loop to be irrelevant). He sometimes tells me of his strange encounters with people. Today, for instance, he reported that one of his female customers, responding to his mention of Barack Obama, assured him that Obama was both bisexual and a drug addict. My friend does not believe this woman made this up herself, nor do I. But she must have heard it from someone, somewhere. So what could be the source of a rumor like this? I mean, there are all kinds of rumors circulating about Obama and his wife. He’s a Muslim (apparently some 13% of Americans still believe this). He’s a Marxist (as far as I know this came from that font of wisdom, Newt Gingrich). Others say he is a socialist. Still others believe he is a secret Muslim that is trying to take over our government (and presumably force us all to become Muslims?). He secretly agrees with Reverend Wright and hates America. He is unpatriotic. His wife is an angry black woman who hates “whitey.” He attended a Muslim school. He’s really not who he claims to be (in spite of producing his Hawaiian birth certificate that was authenticated by the Hawaiian authorities). I’m surprised we haven’t heard that he was actually raised by wolves (that may still come). He’s going to raise everyone’s taxes because he is a “tax and spend liberal.” He is a leftist. He wants to surrender in Iraq, He’s an elitist, and etc.

Now, it’s not too difficult to see where some of these rumors originated. He did go to a school in Indonesia when he was a small child. His father was a Muslim (so he must also be one?). He wants to help the poor and the middle class (he’s a socialist, Marxist, radical, liberal, leftist). He admits to having tried drugs as a teenager (he’s a drug addict). He doesn’t always wear a flag pin or put his hand over his heart (he’s unpatriotic). He will probably raise taxes on the rich (so he’s going to raise everyones taxes). Anyway, you get the picture. But where on earth did the rumor originate that he is bisexual? Does the Brafia employ people to make this stuff up? Obviously they promote all the rumors they can, but are they really the source of all of them? Perhaps some originate in the pea-brains of the Republican right, and, like all rumors, easily spread to those who apparently are unable to think for themselves (like fans of Rush Limbaugh, for example). Rumors of this type are strange because it is unlikely that the people who make them up really believe them. It’s the Lyndon Johnson approach (make up some terrible rumor about someone and just watch them squirm trying to deny it). Personally, I don’t believe any of these rumors. It’s obvious to me that he actually has descended here from somewhere in outer space to save us from ourselves. That’s why he is so skinny and has funny ears. Did it ever occur to you that if you were born into a society where there were all different races, and no one talked about it, you would think that was just the natural way life was, different colored people, just like M and M’s. I think prior to about 1500 a.d., that’s the way life was in certain parts of the world. Race was not even an issue.

Obama is about to embark on his trip to Europe and the Middle East. Obviously he’ll be damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. Perhaps we should bribe the French to pretend not to like him (if the French like him there must be something wrong with him?). Who knows what rumors they can make up about him while he’s on this trip? I fear he may be mobbed in Europe and elsewhere. The world is waiting for the sunrise. I suspect most Americans are suspicious of Europeans because they subconsciously believe they are smarter than we are (and when it comes to politics and world affairs, they are). In any case, Obama has to go. Let us all wish him well (except for those who will claim he is a polygamist, with wives in every country on earth, to say nothing of hundreds of concubines and a golden stool to sit on while he eats all their children).