Chef Wars: Anthony Bourdain Tangles With Paula Deen and Both Are Losers

Anthony Bourdain, renowned chef and host of No Reservations, is not known for his pleasant demeanour nor bubbly personality. The weathered chef is kind of an elitist prick, and he knows it as well as we do -- it's why so many of us like him. So when he gave an interview to TV Guide and dissed foodie stars Paula Deen, Rachael Ray, and Guy Fieri, it shouldn't have been that big of a surprise. He's a crabby pompous ass with a giant chip on his shoulder -- what did we expect?

But when sunny Paula Deen fired back at his insults, things got out of hand. Must every chef have a holier-than-thou complex? I'd expect it from Bourdain, but Paula, oh dear, I'm disappointed in you.

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There's team Snobby Chefs with Bourdain as captain, then there's team Down Home chefs with Deen as the figure head. And when these two teams meet in battle, it gets ugly.

The worst, most dangerous person to America is clearly Paula Deen. She revels in unholy connections with evil corporations and she's proud of the fact that her food is f--king bad for you [...] plus, her food sucks.

Anthony Bourdain needs to get a life. You don’t have to like my food, or Rachael’s, Sandra’s, and Guy’s. But it’s another thing to attack our character. I wake up every morning happy for where I am in life. It’s not all about the cooking, but the fact that I can contribute by using my influence to help people all over the country. In the last two years, my partners and I have fed more than 10 million hungry people by bringing meat to food banks ... You know, not everybody can afford to pay $58 for prime rib or $650 for a bottle of wine.

Chefs, chefs, please! Bourdain says Deen's a bad cook, Deen says Bourdain's a bad human, it's all so wonderfully catty. You know what? They're both so full of themselves that it's embarrassing to watch this argument play out. While I understand it coming from crabby Bourdain, I was a little surprised to hear such self-righteousness coming from Deen.

No one wins here. Both teams are disqualified for being big fat douche wads. They're both so out of touch with what real people want to eat it's insane. Do I want to eat Bourdain's bone marrow, encrusted with rare diamonds seared in a pan oiled with virgin's blood every night? No. Do I want to eat Deen's pasta boiled in six gallons of butter, deep fried in cake batter, and served over a bed of shredded cheese topped with dried mayonnaise niblets every night? No.

But I like watching their shows. To me, they're TV stars and entertainers first and chefs second. If only they saw themselves that way too, maybe they'd tone down their smug and sanctimonious attitudes.