The Stories of a Wife, Mom and Pastor

Are we normal?

Have you ever wondered if your family is normal? Or if your kids behavior is on par with other kids their age? Those times when you are about to run away because of how everyone is acting, and you think that you can’t be the only family that acts like this.

The other day I posted on my facebook that I was going to look into boarding schools for my 6 year old because we are having issues with her attitude. Apparently we are not the only ones and she will have many friends at her overseas boarding school. It is nice to know we are not alone in the every day challenges of raising kids.

It is so easy to not bring up what goes on every day in our homes. We don’t want to seem like we have problems. Like we are not normal. We don’t want to admit our struggles. It is easy to think that every other parent has their temper under control, and that when their kids throw a tantrum we just assume that the parent keeps their cool always. That they get down on one knee and calmly talks the raving lunatic of a child down and then they all hug it out. That they always have a calm head on their shoulder, and know how to handle their kids at all times.

It’s easy to think that other people’s houses have all clean dishes, spotless floors, and kids who put their toys away without being asked. That all the laundry is washed, dried, folded, and put away in an afternoon, all while a hot roast beef dinner is being made,and eaten and appreciated by all those in the house. To assume everyone else’s kids only need to be told once to get dressed, to stop touching the TV, the eat their vegetables, to brush their teeth, and to go to bed, and they listen and do it.

It is hard to talk about the struggles of parenting, the struggles of marriage, the struggles of doing life every day with little people who still have developing brains and bladders. When you and your spouse become team mates in the daily survival and forget how to be a spouse. Survival mode, survival years. That’s what people with older kids refer to the early years as. They say they spent those years just surviving each day. But that it gets better, that the time will fly. But when you are in the trenches (the pee filled trenches), it is hard to see beyond that. When each cup of coffee allows you to get through the next few hours, it is hard to believe that you will make it through the next few years. They say one day you will rediscover your spouse and won’t just look at them as someone who you trade off diaper duty with.

They say that one day children will conquer the potty, and will sleep through the night (or at least not wake you up every time they do), they say that one day you will have to wake the children up and not the other way around (I cannot wait for this day).

You just assume that your family is the only family in survival mode. That you are the only parent who has a child that screams in your face and slams the door like a hormonal teenager in a teeny tiny body. That only your kids try to kill each other daily, and words such as “don’t sit on your sisters head” are only heard within your walls.

Let me stand up and say we ARE NORMAL. When you discover that the majority of people’s houses are not filled with glitter and unicorns but real life people you breath a sign of relief. We need to stand together as parents. We need to be open and honest with each other. To help each other in our daily struggles. To help each other realize that we will get through these years. That as long as our homes are filled with love, and we try our best to raise proper humans we are doing it right. That there will be times when we feel like we have failed, but know that it is normal. We need to stand together, and to share our lives. We need each other through every stage of this parenting gig.