MF's Least Fit: Celebs

8 famous faces we'd like to whip into shape

by by Devin Pratt

A lot of people can argue that it's a celebrity's job to be fit and beautiful. After all, they're the ones making millions of dollars, right? Of course, there are the overweight celebrities who depend on their sizable waistlines as part of their image. But is the strain on their health worth the hefty paychecks? Here are eight famous guys who could use a fitness overhaul.

Michael MooreAge: 54In his words: "Actually, when I go home to Michigan, I'm one of the skinny guys."

The sizable filmmaker made us take a long hard look at the nation's health care system in his controversial documentary Sicko. Weighing in at just over 300 pounds, Moore would be wise to examine his own health as closely, especially since he's now in his mid-50s. To his credit, Moore has reportedly made attempts to shed the pounds through lifting weights, eating smarter, and getting more sleep. He's also been quoted as saying he'd like to get down to 225 pounds.

Least Fit Moment During a 2007 interview with New York Magazine, Moore was asked if he lost any weight prior to the release of Sicko to avoid being called a hypocrite by the critics. His response: "Not at all. [Losing weight] actually works against me. . . . See, as I've gained weight over the years, I've become more popular. You can really track the box office going up as I put on the pounds: Roger & Me, $7 million. Bowling for Columbine, $21 million. Fahrenheit, $120 million."

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John GoodmanAge: 56In his words: "I'm just a lazy boy. I'd rather sit in my recliner and act."

One of Hollywood's most lovable actors, John Goodman has battled weight problems for many years. From playing everyone's favorite TV dad on Roseanne to the wildly unstable Walter Sobchak in The Big Lebowski, Goodman has had great success at landing the roles of rotund characters. But at 56, he is flirting with a number of major health risks, including diabetes, heart attack, and stroke. There is hope for the former Roseanne star though. Goodman has reportedly cut back on his alcohol consumption and is working with a trainer to help get his weight under control.

Least Fit Moment Goodman actually had to shed dozens of pounds to play Babe Ruth in 1992's The Babe.

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Jack BlackAge: 38In his words: "If my boobs were on a girl, guys would be going mad for them . . . I can enjoy them anytime I want!"

Funny? Yes. Fit? Not so much. Black has had no problem poking fun of his weight over the years, such as when he wedged himself into a Spandex bodysuit to film the 2006 comedy Nacho Libre. Like so many funnymen before him, Black has relied on his husky frame to bring in the laughs. In fact, you'll be hard pressed to find any guy under 35 who doesn't find Black's physical comedy to be hysterical. But, Jack, we promise we'll still laugh at you if you drop a few pounds.

Artie LangeAge: 40In his words: "I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust."

In the 1978 classic Animal House, Dean Wormer warned that, "Drunk, fat, and stupid is no way to go through life." But that formula has worked well for funnyman Artie Lange. Of course, the question remains: just how long can Artie go before he heads down the same road as John Belushi and Chris Farley? A self-proclaimed alcoholic and drug user, at 40 years old, Lange is asking a lot of his already strained liver and heart.

Least Fit Moment Take your pick! Anyone who has encountered Lange has their own tale of raucous debauchery (most involve massive amounts of Jack Daniels). But one story that stands out to Howard Stern fans is the time Lange got so drunk in Las Vegas he had to be wheeled around the casino in a wheelchair until someone finally had the sense to park the out-of-control comedian in his hotel room for the night.

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Drew CareyAge: 50In his words: "They say that exercise and proper diet are the keys to a longer life. Oh well."

Why do so many people love Drew Carey? Because we can all relate to the funnyman on some level. Who hasn't thought about skipping workouts or opting for a stuffed-crust pizza instead of a salad? In fact, Carey recently had 45 pizzas shipped from his favorite pizza shop in Ohio to the set of his CBS game show, The Price is Right, in Los Angeles to celebrate the show's season finale. Unfortunately, his penchant for pizza and other fatty foods has contributed to heart problems in the past.

Least Fit Moment In 2001, Drew Carey experienced chest pains on the set of his hit series The Drew Carey Show. The comedian was rushed to the hospital where he underwent emergency angioplasty.

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Kevin SmithAge: 37In his words: "I've never been a drinker or drugger, but where I've historically indulged like Tony Montana was with junk food. I never had a bowl of cereal; I'd eat a box."

The brilliant filmmaker who brought us Clerks, Mallrats, and Dogma, has always been a guy who swims in self-deprecation when it comes to his body image. But Smith's family history of diabetes scared the director into shedding over 20 pounds in 2007. We give the guy all the credit in the world for paying attention to hereditary health risks — and we're willing to bet Smith will stick to his new lifestyle and drop a few more pounds.

Least Fit Moment In 2007, Smith revealed in his blog the real reason why he can't lose weight: "I don't have a weight problem. There are people who can work their asses off to lose weight only to find that their genetics conspire against their best efforts. I'm not one of those people. I can lose weight — I just have a problem with getting off my fat ass. What can I say? I'm just a lazy fuck."

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James GandolfiniAge: 46In his words: "I used to say I was a 260 lb. Woody Allen. You can make that 295 lb. now."

Best known for his role as brutish, yet charming, mob boss Tony Soprano on the hit show Sopranos, James Gandolfini's size was key to making his character believable. "I should exercise, but I'm too old for that shit," Gandolfini revealed in a 2006 edition of Esquire U.K. "I lost 30 lbs. to play my character in The Mexican, but people don't take to skinny Mafia men, and I don't feel right when I'm thin." Now that Gandolfini has wrapped up the Sopranos series, we hope that he drops the weight or else . . . fugetaboutit!

Least Fit Moment

A 2002 divorce to public relations executive Marcella Wudarski stirred up allegations from Wudarski of drug and alcohol abuse by the Sopranos star. Gandolfini has freely acknowledged having substance problems but has long since pulled himself together through rehab.

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Jorge GarciaAge: 35In his words: "One [fan] sent me a coupon for Slim Fast along with a bunch of religious pamphlets. On another occasion, the same lady sent me dieters' tea."

As Hurley on the television series Lost, Jorge Garcia plays a lovable castaway who never seems to lose much weight (even though he's marooned on a remote island). Garcia's size has most likely helped out his career as an actor and stand-up comedian — but, at 35, the easy-going star is flirting with disaster. On the flip side, Garcia has reportedly dropped some weight and made great efforts to take better care of himself. "I lost 30 pounds," explained the portly actor. "I can afford to not live on rum and burritos and take better care of myself."

Least Fit Moment One of Garcia's first acting gigs was playing a dim-witted guy wearing a cardboard hat in a commercial for the fast-food chain Jack in the Box.