20 responses to “Gluten For Punishment”

“Gluten For Punishment”…LOL. What can you really even say at this point? I don’t know what Starbuck Jones has to do with the solar system and neither does anyone else, as SJ is still as nebulous a concept as ever, but eight planets, a bunch of planetoid objects and satellites…this could go on for a while.

The Titan: the congealing puddles of grease on each slice represent Titan’s great methane lakes. And speaking of methane…the Io Pie, which will have you erupting like Jupiter’s moon…get it? I’m making fart jokes and they’re STILL better than BanTom’s various belchings, sigh.

Um, yes Tony, you are the only one in Westview who watches the Science Channel. Everyone else, quite obviously, spends their free time reading Starbuck Jones comics… not that they could afford cable television anyways.

So today in addition to the unfunny joke we find out that Tony is also here to berate Funky for not being up on scientific factoids. Is there something in Westview’s water that makes everybody unfriendly?

Considering tomorrow is Earth Day, I was wondering if this would be a clever lead up to an Earth pizza on Friday.. But then I realized I was mixing clever and Tom Batiuk in the same thought. I shan’t make that same trespass ever again.

These are the weirdest and most unappetizing pizza toppings seen outside a classic TMNT episode. Seriously. How hard would it be to think of something that both fits the poor excuse for a joke AND people might actually want to eat?

Remember when your kid was seven years old and discovered knock-knock jokes? For like a week, everything the kid said was a knock-knock joke and by the fourth or fifth day, just hearing the kid say “Hey Dad! Knock Knock!” made you wince until finally you didn’t say anything and the kid was like Dad! Knock knock!…Hey, Dad! Knock knock! Dad! and you finally turned to the kid and said Dad’s not home, he went up to the corner to get a pack of cigarettes and he’s never coming back!! REMEMBER? C’mon, I can’t be the only one goddammit.

He’s beaten this horse so badly it has risen from the dead and has run away. Stop. Just stop. And really Coleslaw is the best you can come up with? How about ice cream? Or frozen yogurt? It’s stupid yes but not stomach churning.

What I want to know is how the devil did Montoni’s stay and business before Funky bought out a half-share. The way Tony is portrayed in this strip, he shouldn’t be able allowed to cross the street by himself.