This video kills me. Because it makes no f-cking sense. But first, auto-tune needs to die. So it’s Jamie Foxx. He has a new album. He’s released a new video full of celebrity cameos – Samuel L Jackson, Forrest Whitaker, Quincy Jones, Ashley from Fresh Prince, some blonde lady that looks familiar but is distinctly B list, and Ron Howard and Jake Gyllenhaal. Full Story

Remember how for weeks and weeks we had to endure the ceaseless gushing about Jennifer Aniston turning 40 and “fabulous!”? Ugh. Salma Hayek turned 40 two years ago and as far as I can recall the entire world wasn’t forced to celebrate with her, even though she hardly looks 30, never mind 10 years older. Full Story

Oh GiGi, you so sneaky. Despite numerous reports of an engagement, and subsequent numerous denials, Gisele Bundchen married Tom Brady yesterday in Santa Monica. Us Weekly broke the story first and given the details, it sounds like G and T had been planning for a while. Full Story

Happy Birthday Chris R! You’ve been reading a long, LONG time. Thank you for the support! I know it’s been sucky lately. Am thinking of you, am sure things will turn around soon. Have a great weekend! To Aisha – Happy 23rd Birthday from your big sister Mareva! To Shelley – Happy Birthday on Sunday! With love from Laura And for Emma who is celebrating sweet 16 tomorrow – Happy Birthday from mom and Alex! Good luck with the drivers licence. Full Story

Timing of today’s blog will be a bit wonky today. We’re on a 6am flight to Vegas from Vancouver (means we must leave home at 3:30am) so I’ve posted overnight and am rushing to the airport. Will update soon as we get checked in with wireless at hotel.

Why Vegas?

Once again my mother has feng shui hijacked my life.

Every year she studies her Chinese zodiac book and gives us a monthly play-by-play. Over the next few weeks, it’s been advised that my husband skip town for a few days, presumably to avoid calamity. He was supposed to head out on a golfing trip with his boys and it would have been SO amazing to have the place to myself, with Marcus keeping me warm, only they all bailed for a variety of reasons and of course, since I’m so pathetic I can’t make a move without consulting my mother and her cryptic little nuggets heightening my already superstitious paranoia (OK, well it’s up to you… but don’t say Mommy didn’t give you warning), now we’re on a 4 day minibreak to Vegas because this week is the only time I can go and my hands are itchy for a little gambling anyway…

Please Shiloh, please keep Ebola away. It comes to Vegas often. My eye is improving but if Ebola is anywhere on the strip, I’ll probably grow an ass wart by the time it’s done.

Anyway, apologies for the irregular schedule today. New posts as soon as I touch down.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Have you downloaded Heroes yet? Legendary musicians, 16 exclusive tracks, all in support of War Child. Stevie Wonder, Bob Dylan, Paul McCartney – they chose their favourite artists to cover their classic songs.

!!!

Dylan picked Beck for Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat which was featured during the closing credits at the Oscars. McCartney entrusted Live and Let Die to… Duffy! Estelle performs Superstitious with Stevie’s blessing, and more.

4 stars by Rolling Stone, and the New York Times proclaimed Heroes “wickedly on the mark”.

Click here for more information and to buy. Click here to sample a few tracks. And the promo for Heroes is below.

About Heroes: It’s not uncommon for musicians to try their hand at covering classic songs from their heroes’ songbook. However, when one of your heroes personally selects a track from their own catalog and asks you to do the honors in the name of one of the world’s most acclaimed humanitarian organizations…you get something truly special... HEROES! War Child, an award winning charity that provides humanitarian assistance to war-affected children in some of the most devastated regions of the world, are proud to announce a unique and unprecedented collaboration between some of the biggest names in music history and today’s hottest artists. Heroes promo:

She’s keeping her options open, making sure there’s always a Plan B. Us Weekly broke the story earlier this week that Megan Fox finally cut it off with her dead weight fiancé Brian Austin Green. She was spotted this afternoon however visiting Brian’s son Cassius at school. Apparently she spent the night at Brian’s, left in the morning, went to kindergarten, and then picked up some coffee. Full Story

The other day I reported on information from sources that Jessica Simpson had fired her band and was scrapping the tour. Gossip is a speculative business - every once in a while, there’s a bad tip. I’m sorry about that. But I’m not sorry about the fact that she didn’t quit. Because in not quitting, Porny provided us with this: photos from her performance in Idaho. Full Story

Tonight in Paris, Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis had dinner at Brasserie Lipp – not on GOOPy’s recommended guide. Heh. Vanessa dashed into the car before cameras could catch her. So far these are the only two good shots of JD I could find. Very, very rare. It’s been months since the last candids. Full Story

Wears print! And tights! And hot brown suede Loubs! This is Jennifer Aniston not wearing black, not stylistically boring for a change, in Paris with Owen Wilson at the Marley & Me photo call this afternoon. LOVE her Balenciaga (I think?) dress. LOVE the way it’s working with the shoes. Don’t love the way she’s constantly wrapping herself around him like he’s so vulnerable and needs to be saved and she’s the only one who can do the saving. Full Story

In Tokyo today at the Japan premiere of Australia – Hugh Jackman and Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman posing for photos. Apparently Gran did not linger long but wore a black baby doll making sure to cover her hands over her stomach constantly. She didn’t seem bump-ish to me on Sunday at the Oscars but then again, never doubt the magic of Spanx. Full Story