Excrement Causes Malfunctioning Transit Station Escalators

Recently, San Francisco's BART stations have been having a bit of a problem: human waste in the escalators. The Bay Area Rapid Transit stations often serve as a haven for the local homeless, who tend to take the opportunity to privately relieve themselves while crashing for the night.

Several escalators were nonfunctional on Wednesday, most likely because of the aforementioned late night "activities." According to Era Jenkins, BART police spokeswoman, these sorts of crimes are creating a problem for local police.

"Certain crimes you don't see, you can't enforce," Jenkins said.

So now you know: you can relieve yourself almost anywhere—just make sure no one can see you, and if anybody asks, blame it on a homeless person. It's the perfect crime.