Author: Kali Holloway

The most common weapon used was a gun. Toxic masculinity dictates that men dominate and control women in ways that often involve violence. This virulent form of social control constructs manhood and masculinity as inextricably tied to shows of strength and aggression. Psychologist and author Terry Real, perhaps the most informed voice on men’s issues and […]

Toxic masculinity hurts men and women alike. It is impossible to talk about Donald Trump—his election victory, his personal brand, his public persona—without also discussing toxic masculinity. This is a man who brought up the size of his penis during a political debate, who bragged about using his fame in the service of sexual assault, who recently interrupted […]

Racist violence is as American as apple pie. Remember that Donald Trump froze funds that were supposed to go to groups fighting neo-Nazi violence. Remember that the Department of Justice recently announced that its civil rights division will be focusing its energies not on the precipitous rise in anti-black and anti-Muslim hate crimes that followed Trump’s election, but on “affirmative action […]

There is no way to sugarcoat the fact that Trump has helped stoke some of the ugliest aspects imaginable. But there are voices of sanity and many helpful things we can do. The day after the 2016 presidential election, therapists around the country reported a surge in clients emotionally devastated by the shock and disgust […]

I refuse to take part in the endless privileging of white pain above all others. The only people who were surprised by white people voting for white supremacy is other white people. Muslims, black folks, and other people of color have been petrified of this outcome for a long time now, because we know how […]

There’s an enduring popular image of divorced women as bitter and jaded, while divorced men are portrayed as all too happy to break free. But this proves wrong when put to the test. Women love four things, according to hack comedians and romantic comedies: chocolate, shopping, nagging dudes like it’s their job, and marriage. On […]

Having kids in the United States is brutal. “The days are long, but the years are short,” goes the old saying. That’s true of life itself, but the phrase has become a mantra of parents and caregivers, a reassuring bit of what’s called “everyday wisdom” for the perpetually sleep-deprived and stressed-out. Even parents with the […]

Racism is stunning in its consistency. Q: What’s the best way to appear professional? A: Dye yourself white. And make sure your hair approximates whiteness as best it can, too. That’s according to Google Images, at least. Twitter user ‏@BonKamona posted the results of a search via Google for “professional hairstyles.” She repeated the experiment by […]

A group of couples counselors are placing the focus squarely on sex as the first step to relational happiness. Conservative estimates suggest anywhere from 20 to 60 percent or more of people cheat on their spouses. Internet porn remains—as you probably know, quite possibly firsthand—wildly popular. If a thing exists, there’s someone out there who’s […]

We begin the damaging process of turning boys into men long before boyhood ends. “The three most destructive words that every man receives when he’s a boy is when he’s told to ‘be a man,’” — Joe Ehrmann, coach and former NFL player If we are honest with ourselves, we have long known that masculinity […]

No one needed or desired these products to be more sex-specific. If I had a dollar for every time I wished they made earplugs just for women, I’d still have only 78 cents for every dollar earned by men. And yet! The marketing world never sleeps and R&D has a job to do, so lady […]