Well holy prize-winning cow: Minnesota Congresswoman and downgrade instigator Michele Bachmann did it, she won the GOP straw poll in Iowa. Time to fry up your butter stix and celebrate/beckon death's call!

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Bachmann won 4,823 votes out of the 16,892 votes cast, reports CBS—becoming the first woman to ever win the poll since its founding in 1979. What an historic victory for feminists! Ron Paul came in second place with 4,671 votes, probably because everyone enjoyed his "Sliding Dollar" slide-ride (seen at right) so much and wanted to show their appreciation. And Tim Pawlenty—who, in typical Pawlentian tradition, came off as totally desperate, plying his supporters with free bus transit to Iowa, free barbecue food, and free clothing, all to improve his chances—came in third with 2,293 votes. Will this spell the end for Pawlenty '12? Who cares.

Rather, Saturday's outcome suggests that XXX has a certain level of support and, perhaps even more important, the strongest get-out-the-vote operation and widest volunteer base in a state whose caucuses require those elements.