Poem: HipHop Still Ain’t Broke Unlike Everyone Else

If you’re needin’ mass cajones I am mas sabor
like empty bowled Oliver Twist I’ll have you beggin’ for more
I’ve got more bling, arm wings, and shingles than straight up Zsa Zsa Gabor
If rhymes were grains of sand I would be Episode IV
Just a poorman’s street ranter flippin’ beats like flops and burgers
Just a simple kid from Minnesota a scruffy lookin’ nerf herder
and I got an alphabet soup of beats like Sue Grafton’s got murders

I’m ice cold as a Klondike bar and as cool as cool ranch
I set the sex ed gold standard like the Golden Girl’s Blanche
So if French kissing ain’t your thing we can go closed mouth
but if tongue wets your whistle let’s lingua franca down south

Like Michael Keaton’s got White Noise I’m bringing the static
my rhyme’s electric like GE or Harrison Ford in Frantic
I’m outta this world like Marlon Brando you might scream that I’m ‘Stella’
other MCs are sea cows and I’m an outboard propeller

I’m sweet as a sleeping kitten or spoon o’ Nutella
I gots mad furs on my back like I’m Glen Close’s Cruella
I got more rhymes than Dalmatians and Arabian Nights
And I’ll shockya like Khan, a Cuckoo’s Nest, or Ben Franklin’s kite

I shrug off guff–showering down lines like dandruff
I’ll do an unplanned handstand got more ‘ands’ than an ampersand

My serpentine lines writhe in rhymes spit mad truths like Delphi
kickin’ Ides of March 24/7 much more madder than Hyphy
I’m a rhyme philanthropist got more 12 bars than felons
I’m handin’ out a beat down of lyrics like straight up Carnegie Mellon
My lines will make you soar– like Kitty Hawk in flight
My lines tighter knit than thighs to lycra or Kit to Knight
My lines ride up like camel toe while wack haters play possum
my ride gots more side to side than a corpus callosum