I can read and understand some French, but responding back in French is out of the question.

To translate, I use "Reverso" http://www.reverso.net/text_translation.aspx?%20Lang=FR This software is scientifically calibrated, the Monster thus touches every translation of its Noodely Appendage by modifying the sense: there is thus a mystic message hidden in every translation. Long researches in dialect former pastafarian allow to find the sense. *My uncle uses a feather of eagle which is smaller than its garden in which he runs, but bigger than my pen, it is sure...* To thwart effect of the Noodely Touch we can retranslate in the other direction to verify, but it is less delicious.My Pastafarian web site so translated into English http://pastafarism.canalblog.com/