Derek Fisher

Brewers baby! Best record in baseball. 9 in a row. Oh yea, this is basketball, but man! My Brewers are unstoppable! And it carried over to the hardwood, when Corey Brewer had maybe the most preposterous, out-of-nowhere game all year. I actually did highlights for the Wolves Rockets game Friday night, and it was like watching a pickup game where one guy was just light years better than everyone else. Slice-n-dice, no need to take shots. In the first quarter, I leaned over to a co-worker and said Brewer is having the game of his life. Made me look smart! Going in with a career-high of 29, Brewer dropped 51 on like, a trillion layups and pick 6s. 51/2/1/6/0, and just how everyone learned from Oliver, “you’ve got to pick a pocket or two!” Or six. And probably 5 of them led to uncontested layups, but he did have some pretty sick and-ones for good measure. Deeper leaguers that had Brewer probably thought stat tracker was broken Friday night. I’ve always been a Brewer fan, it was sad to have to trade him to Slim, but when Kevin Martin and Kevin Love returned, it was cool down time for the NBA’s Brew Crew on Sunday, going for only 10 and two steals. Regardless, I love that Brewer now gets to share a milestone with Michael Jordan, Allen Iverson and Rick Barry as the only guys to go 50+ with 6+ steals. One of these is not like the other! Good for Brewer, and if the Wolves indeed deal Love and/or let K-Mart walk, Brewer could be pretty interesting next year. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:

Things were looking oh so good for the Colonel’s original recipe heading into the season. I bought the whole bucket, the two sides and a giant big gulp of tea. But Larry Sanders could very well be one of fantasy’s biggest disappointments in 2013-14, for reasons on and off the court.

Sanders signed a 4-year deal in the offseason worth a cool $44 million bucks (worth, about, a million buckets of chicken!), and the Bucks regime had big plans for their center. GM John Hammond, while trying to keep his Jurassic Park island under control, said Sanders was the key to the team. Hammond, you lost your keys! Bucks are locked out… Then the season started with Sanders nearly fouling out in 12 minutes, and in three games hasn’t played more than 22 minutes, hit 2 FGs, or grabbed more than 4 boards. I was on the buy low bandwagon faster than a short sell in Trading Places. But after complaining about playing time, Sanders reportedly got into a bar fight Saturday night and effed up his thumb. Stop giving him roids, Braun, we don’t need more roid rage in Milwaukee! I wonder if he was getting hazed by Ersan Ilyasova like Richie Incognito. “You must play better, now!” yells Ersan in a thick Turkish accident. Hey, Ilyasova was a scratch last night too, Gus Ayonin’! Anyway, Sanders is accused of breaking champagne bottles over peoples’ heads, and to top if off he then missed Monday’s game because his wife went into labor. Sorry Larry Sanders Jr… I’m just sorry… Hopefully this version of The Larry Sanders Show ends anti-climatically with Sanders getting back on the court and giving fantasy owners something. If you’ve got him, you have to be holding and hoping Sanders can settle down and have this blow over, before he’s looking back at his life and he’s Robert Swift. Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops:

After hurting his knee in last year’s playoffs, then requiring a second surgery on October 1st, Westbrook was one of the biggest fantasy news stories early in preseason with an uncertain timetable. Well that table has expired much earlier than anyone expected, and Westbrook was out there without a minutes restriction last night. It’s like the first surgery was done in Hostel, then the next one at the X-Mansion. Seriously, reports ranged from from early to mid-December as a target return date, but a little Adamantium in your bones goes a long way! The good news is he’s back, but the bad (and frankly, not shocking) news is he was mighty rusty. In nearly 33 minutes, Westbrook shot only 5-16 (0-2 3PTM 11-14 FT) for 21 points, with 4 Reb and 7 Ast and 4 TOs. Besides shooting like Michael Chiklis, you’ll take that line any day. Very encouraging to see Westbrook get to the line that frequently, and the minutes were indeed non-limited. He looked pretty Westbrook-ish in highlights as well. Even if Westbrook isn’t quite the player he was the past few seasons, all owners are looking at a steal for where they got him post-second surgery. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy hoops action:

So if you watched any basketball on TNT last night, you probably saw Danilo Gallinari‘s injury where his knee buckled in a non-contact situation and it doesn’t look good. Don’t want to speculate too much as he hasn’t gotten an MRI yet, but I think he’ll be out when next year starts. Of course it could be just a strain and he got lucky, but I think he’s cuttable. Sucks because I like the Nuggets and like the Italian (I’m double and triple checking players’ nationalities now!).

Another big name player, Tony Parker had to leave early as well with Big Pop “very concerned.” On a night with only three games for there to be two big injuries puts the nail in the coffin of seeing the Miami Heat’s Big 3 play big minutes together again in the regular season. LeBron James owners who were carried by his MVP-level play are cursing all things fantasy basketball as it looks he’ll sit tonight. Dwyane Wade is also likely out. If you play into the finals next week, don’t expect too much from either of these guys. It’s a sad end for many teams’ best or second best players and will bring out your depth.

Jared Dudley did right in Phoenix last night, scoring 22 points and adding 4 rebounds, 5 assists, 3 steals with 2 3pm in 43 minutes. The 22 points were a season high, and after starting the season looking kind of like a Dud-ley, the past two games he’s looked sort of Stud-ley (hey that’s the headline!).

Whether or not you follow baseball, I am sure you’ve heard of them new-fangled Sabermetrics that have revolutionized the evaluation of players on the diamond. Statistics such as BABIP, FIP, xFIP, WAR, GWAR (oh wait, that last one wasn’t right) allow owners to look past the traditional statistics in order to find value in players who may not look so pretty on the outside.

Nene did some rootin’-tootin’ debutin’ last night for the Wiz. He couldn’t have picked a better time or place to do it than against the Nets. Maybe the Bobcats. Or the Washington Generals. I’m not sure there’s a difference, really. You’ve never seen James Vilsaint and Bismack Biyombo in the same room, have you?

It’s time to start calculating whether eight weeks of the best free agent left in your league pool is better than five weeks of Manu Ginobili, ’cause that looks to be the sitch, mes amis. That’s assuming those five weeks are top-notch Manu and I’m not getting that kind of vibe.

Many tears were shed on Valentine’s Day, and not because lonely people were curled up on the couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, a bottle of Pinot Noir and Blue Valentine on Netflix. Danny Granger left the game in the first quarter with a spained left ankle and did not return.

Durant may miss a couple games after snapping his balsa wood ankles. I’m not sure what the big worry is here with his ankles, this stuff happens to Derek Fisher, like, twice a game. That joke was lifted directly from “Tosh.0,” but I’m tired and I didn’t want to make another joke about James Harden‘s greasy beard.