blupper n when you let out a fart very slowly to be able to hear every single clap that your bum makes

boa's belchn when your colon becomes so full of gas that it takes on a life of it's own. Often likened to a boa-constrictor with a full belly. The resulting burp is long and very satisfying

Boom n, BOOM!!!

botty burpn loud but of short duration.

breather n feels like a big one but upon release simply exhales a small amount of air like a sigh

breezer n large and silent, makes curtains move, not to be confused with the popular Barcardi drink

Bronx Cheer n farting in a rough New York bar while singing 'Maria' from West Side Story

brown pants fart n leaves a brown spot on your pants. Judging by the number of people who submit farts 'when you do a bit of poo in your pants' I feel we can no longer ignore this phenomenon.

buddy n a rapid firing, bumpy fart, sounds great on a wooden chair

bum blowern we have it on good authority that this like a doorbell gone wrong (and not in any way related to any other bottom activity)

burnoutn so hot and long it fries it's own follow through

butt burp n American for Botty Burp qv

butt buster n actually inflicts pain as it passes

butt flapper n occurs in those with unusually loose bum cheeks

bvoy n good ferts (we embrace farts of all nations)

C

cabbage fart n brassica hell

cano fart n and I quote, "this is a fart wen you fart shoot out you crap like a canon,"

carpet slipper n Old ladies who let one on the sly and pretend they can't smell a thing

carpet stainerv a fart so colourful it leaves a stain on your shag pile

cheek flapper n when your mudflaps go flappa-flappa-flappa

Chemist's Fart n presumably they do and when it happens it probably smells like some kind of mad experiment

chuff v to blow smoke from one's arse al la Thomas the Tank Engine

Church fart n in church or chapel, let it rattle

Clean But Itchy adv the effects from a good feed of Guiness, (we are guessing this one came from Ireland where they know a good thing when they feel it!)

Cockney cheersn Farting in a crowded public house whilst singing 'Knees up Mother Brown'

code bluen so pungent the victim requires emergency resuscitation

cop fartn a) fart dropped in a patrol car at the end of the shift just before the next cop gets in b) a fart heard in the middle of court and every cop in the courtroom snickers cos they know who did it

coughing fart n cough to cover up a bad fart. see kachoo

country cough n best done in the open air, preferably near a farm yard

covered wagon n see 'Dutch Oven' qv

crap a fartv follow through of the worst kind, you don't wanna do this

crop dustingv silently passing gas while walking past others then quickly vacating the area leaving the others to suffer the ill consequences

cushion creepern emitted whilst the posterior is seated on the sofa. The sound can be defined as a walrus being suffocated by a 20 year old "Easy Night" feather based pillow

cut a walnutv mmmm, just like biting into a crisp walnut, and fulsome too

cut the cheesev as in smelling as bad as a ripe camembert

D

dog fartv to fart in the vicinity of a dog, thus being able to blame the hapless canine

dribbly n quite a scary fart, this one, due to the chance your Mum will find the evidence

drop dead fart v the opposite of Drop Dead Gorgeous

drop your guts v to smell this is to know the meaning of fear

duck tread v to have such loose control that with every step a distinct quack can be heard

Dutch Oven n to fart in bed and then push your partner under the covers to enjoy the atmosphere

duvet lifter n an early morning fart capable of raising 13 togs

E

eggberter n eggy, mmmm, oh so eggy!

enclosed fart n any fart released in an enclosed space, ie car or lift. Can be responsible for the sudden onset of claustraphobia in others