hey mom...dad....

Thursday, Jul. 22, 2004

the other night i asked my friend cathy to come over because i was a mass of tears for days and i just didn't want to go through that all alone and when it was all over with the police looked at her (she's 45 yrs old) and her boyfriend (he's 36 yrs old) and said "ok so your the parents?"
thinking they were MY parents. for one odd second it felt nice. the idea that someone might think i actually had parents. then it was funny hilarious because how in the WORLD could these two people (my age practically) be MY parents. last night cathy convinces me to go get a drink with her
and chill out. i'm not a drinker and so my 1.50 drink lasted 3 hours....either way...the bartender (about 32 yrs old) carded me. i looked at cathy and her boyfriend and said, "uh my parents here can vouch for me". Yah I'm 34 and I look cardable! Go me..

cathy did not think it was funny. now i'm feeling guilty. i had a drink when...

the only part of last night i remember was in the parking lot asking for names I never use...incognito.

tonight i'm going to vacuum the apartment...clean up the wires...fill up the gaps...and practice saying "wanna go laydown?"

there's a thousand cracks inside but i'm ok...i found out last night exactly what love is all about and it wasn't from my intended parents.