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i think i've basically lost my ability to function in the world without having some sort of hikaru-no-go-associated love attack once a day or so.

i've also lost my ability to talk about it properly. by now like my world is so basically centered around what this series does to my heart that i'm pretty much at the point where, if you haven't watched/read hikaru no go, or if you have, but have not basically found it the most uplifting thing in the world ever, i sort of generally am appalled and may well likely think less of you as a person. ahahaha. um. D:

like what else is there? there's nothing, there is just nothing else as true on the planet as hikaru and sai and touya and their epic search for eternity and ultimate meaning and purpose, god, i'm not even joking, it's like this series is scripture. this series is my holy writ, my ultimate life survival guide:

stuck in a rut? start playing now instead of someday.thinking you can make it on your own? remember, go is a game for two players.think you're strong enough? being strong means holding on til the end.how long should you wait for true love? two years four months, or a thousand years.want to know the meaning of life? simple, it's to bridge the far past with the far future, one human connection at a time.

is there life after death? yes. this isn't the end - it never ends.

i just, god, oh my god, three years in and it never ends, what this story has done to my heart. it never ends.

i decided to watch this anime because people kept telling me about the subtext. the subtext still makes me so unbearably happy i can't even express it. but everything about this series makes me happy. it uplifts me. it inspires me. it seriously, utterly, repeatedly, permanently, has broken my heart. it makes me cry basically on a daily basis. it has given me Touya Akira, who has basically become my favorite character ever, my favorite fictional person in all world history.

It has given me a part of myself that for most of my life, I sincerely believe that I lacked: the ability to mourn.

i cannot get over how transcendent this manga is, how much i just feel like if you don't think this is the greatest thing you've ever read then you haven't read it enough. how it's like. like nobuta, like bump of chicken, like the soaring freedom of cheesy pop music, like rie fu, like finding out dumbledore is gay!!!, like every unbelievable, unexpected, inspirational, cheesy, moving thing we discover in the things we love, all rolled up into this giant package of true love and allegory disguised as a board game.

i always wish that i could give these things i love to everyone else around me but most of all, i wish i could give everyone this.