Anna hopes by speaking out she can help other victims of the disorder (Image: Kenneth Ferguson)

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WHEN Anna Mcvicar strides on stage with her band she looks like the ultimate rock chick – gorgeous, powerful and totally in control.

But the pictures she took while starving herself to within hours of death reveal the personal hell she endured and survived.

The photos of her emaciated young body pay harrowing testimony to the 12 years when Anna was in the grip of anorexia.

She has chosen to reveal them to mark five years since she finally left hospital, hoping they will inspire other girls and young women to seek help with eating disorders – and encourage them to keep fighting.

Anna, 22, said: “It’s been a long haul but I’m happy and I’m healthy. I’m proud of myself.

“I look at these photos now and think, ‘That can’t be me’. But when I took them, all I thought was, ‘I’m a fat blob. I need to lose more weight.’

“From the age of 10, I had nothing in my life but anorexia. I was obsessed with counting calories, losing weight and exercising. It took over.

“I had a target weight of 3st and I tried everything to reach it. I know that sounds ridiculous now but it made sense to me then and I never in a million years thought I would ever think any differently.”

At the lowest depths of her illness, 5ft 4in Anna weighed just 4st, had heart failure, bed sores and had odema and osteoporosis.

Her body mass index of 11.2 was classified as severely malnourished, dramatically below the healthy range of 18.5 to 24.9.

Over the course of a decade, she spent a total of two-and-half years in hospital, sacrificing her education, friendships and family life.

She said: “I never thought I’d get through it but I have and I want other girls to know that you can do it, it won’t last forever. Know that other people have recovered and believe in yourself.”

Anna’s eating disorder took hold when she was a skinny 10-year-old, a happy little girl who loved dancing and cycling and had no worries about her body shape.

She believes the problem was sparked by anxiety as she prepared to move from primary school to secondary.

She suffered panic attacks which made her sick so she rationalised that if she didn’t eat, she wouldn’t throw up.

Anna, of Prestwick, Ayrshire, said: “I started cutting out food.

“When you begin to lose weight you get a buzz from it and want to keep going. The thoughts got stronger and I wanted to lose more and more.

“I would have half a digestive biscuit for breakfast, throw away my packed lunch at school, then eat less and less every time my parents made dinner.”

Distraught mum Catherine, now 57, and dad Jim, 64, tried everything in their power to persuade their daughter to eat but by the time she was admitted to hospital for the first time – aged just 11 – her weight was dangerously low.

Doctors gave her just two weeks to live and she was connected to a drip feeding nutritious liquids directly into her stomach via a tube in her nose.

Slowly, Anna began to return to her previous weight of 7½st. But while her doctors and parents celebrated that she was on the mend, she was terrified by the prospect of “getting fat”.

By 14, she’d been sectioned and admitted to a psychiatric ward at Glasgow’s Gartnavel Hospital where she spent eight months under constant observation to stop her pulling out her feeding tubes or exercising in secret.

Anna was little more than skin and bone..now she is a healthy weight (Image: Handout)

She said: “They had to restrain me up to six times a day because I was very difficult. I still get nosebleeds caused by the friction of the tube up my nose.

“I was watched all the time to make sure I was behaving but I was so sneaky.

“I was allowed to close the curtain when I was in the shower so I would jump up and down in the cubicle, trying to lose a bit more weight. And I’d do up to 3000 sit-ups every night.

“It was upsetting for everyone. I still feel awful for what I put my parents through.

“I’m an only child which probably made things worse. It was hell for them yet they still love me. I just couldn’t understand them when they said you’ll have to put on weight or you’ll die. I thought I was fine.

“And I had so many people praying for me, I’d just like to thank them all now.”

Aged 16, after more failed treatment, Anna was sent for specialist help at the private Huntercombe Hospital in Edinburgh, 10 months of therapy which she credits with saving her life.

She hadn’t eaten a single morsel for four weeks and was surviving on sips of water yet still somehow found the energy to exercise for up to six hours a day.

She said: “Anorexia gave me adrenalin so even though my heart was failing and I was in a wheelchair, I was trying to get up and do star jumps and sit-ups.

“The staff were lovely to me though and I actually began to feel better. They definitely changed my life.”

But it was a terrifing collapse, while out with her mum, that was the turning point. Anna was unconscious for 20 minutes and turning blue as her body began to shut down after years of malnutrition.

She woke in A&E to hear doctors tell her how close she had come to death and suddenly realised she didn’t want to go through it any more.

Anna has gained weight slowly and sensibly to a point where she now weighs a healthy 9½st and enjoys food.

She has taken up Zumba, regularly attending Fiona Young’s classes in Ayr and Prestwick, but keeps her fitness regime within well-controlled levels. And she’s found happiness with her boyfriend, St Andrews biochemistry student Michael Drysdale, 22.

And Anna’s new confidence shines through in her role as lead singer in their band, Chaos!, who are building up a firm fan base after a number of successful gigs in Glasgow, Edinburgh and Ayrshire.

The hard times are behind her now and she refuses to let them return. Anna said: “When I start singing, all my fears melt away. I don’t think about how I look. It’s scary getting up in front of a crowd but I love it.

“I have my down days but I know I will never go back to the way I was. I want other girls to believe that they can do it too.”