For the Planet’s Transgender Columnist: A First Post

OK, so this is my first post here, I am thankful to Murph for having me here as a featured transgender columnist. I have now been out as trans for nearly 25 years, and in fact now have lived more years of my life in my true gender (female) than in my past existence as “male.”

I will use this space, and my column, to bring light on issues concerning Social Justice where it relates to the transgender community, as well as share from my own personal journey. Sometimes, my comments may seem a bit harsh and even irreverent at times, you are warned, because I am just DONE being nice about this stuff, after 25 years, most of my adult life…being denied the rights and freedoms every other American takes for granted.

We ask for no special rights…only that the promise and opportunity of America ALSO accrue to us, as we are humans, and we are citizens, and we deserve the same promise and opportunity of any other citizen.

The Constitution did not say “right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness…ONLY for those people we like or approve of.”

In closing off this very short intro…I will throw in an irreverent comment I have been making just lately, vis a vis all the people who stand against the transgender and our equality…who stand against the Equality Act…which was passed by the US House…which has caused a lot of bigots to come out of hiding to attack us.

To those who are transphobes…to those who stand against our rights to equality, and a fair shot at the promise and opportunity of America – may you be stricken with an acute and incurable case of the crabs. That would at least focus your attention on your own junk…AND OFF MINE!!

See what I mean about irreverent humor?? Except it isn’t funny, I really DO mean that.

Out an proud transgender woman, been out 25 years. Activist and agitator, with political aspirations.
Am currently the first openly-transgender elected Precinct Chair in the history of Wake County, North Carolina - and the first openly-trans woman in the history of the State of North Carolina to run for the State Legislature.

While you are correct that the constitution does not limit the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness to people we like. Actually, the words life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are not in the constitution at all. They are in the Declaration of Independence.

Hi Angela
Welcome to the Planet. You will find I have a similar sense of humor as you do so my guess is you won’t be able to shock me. I am glad you are here as we are going through the, for lack of a better word, awakening, of my niece. We are getting used to calling her Reid, but referring to the gender she does is is a bit harder. I think only because he has been a she to us for 16 years. Anyway, prior to this awakening, Reid was having so many psychological issues that at several points she wanted to kill herself. I had some truly heartbreaking times picking her up from school when she had breakdowns. My SIL got her the counseling she needed, but it still was not enough for her to come out until a breakdown at school one day. We are so thankful the counselor she talked to was very experienced in transgender issues and was able to steer my SIL in the right direction to help her and her medical coverage will cover it all for free. I don’t know if I am using all the right lingo here, but I have had a real education on the process over the past month or so. I always thought I was such an open and affirming person but I did have a slight, WTF moment before I asked what we could do to help but I still feel bad about that moment. It was such a shock to me because her parents are/were both good Baptists, and how would they accept her? What would she have to go through? Well, I learned that love of your child overrides any organized religion with her mother, the jury is till out on her father. For that, I am happy. This was probably TMI for your first post, but I was so happy to see your post. I will shut up now.

May I assume the Reid is a transgender male? I do not like to assume anything, but that is what I am getting from what you wrote. It is not, by the way, uncommon for those we love to really bungle the pronouns, and struggle very hard with them.

Rebecca is Reid’s old name, so she is going to be a boy so would that be considered a transgender male? Another new term we need to learn. His mother is doing really well, but she is on a daily basis with him, we are morel weekly or bi-weekly.

Yes. Reid would be a transgender male, and should be referred to in male pronouns always (even in the part of his life before you knew he was Reid…and that can get tricky, so practice and be patient)

Additionally, you should not have revealed Reid’s former name. This is what we in the trans community call our “dead name” and it often is triggering and carries a lot of pain.

My own dead name is like that. There are some in my life who know it…since they knew me before I was out as Angela. They also know never to use that name.

I did have a political opponent here do “oppo research” on me and come up with my dead name…a name I had not, at the time, used in 22 years, and which had not been my legal name for 18 years. I had never legally used that name in this state. And that political opponent deliberately used that name on me…in front of three other politicians.

She was, of course, doing it to be mean, and trying to trigger me and cause me to lose control in front of the other politicians…and I was hip to what she was trying to do…so I just put my forehead in my hand, shook my head slowly, and said…”just wow.”

Did not give her the reaction she had wanted. It does not mean I did not feel all the horrible things…because I did. I was also in a situation where I was not able to allow those true feelings to show, nor react to her cruelty as I might have otherwise.

My point – if you use Reid’s deadname around him…he may not react, because he is trying to spare your feelings….many of us do this. But I promise you it hurts him a lot. And please never tell anyone else who did not already know it…Reid’s deadname.

You did not know this, so…now you do, and this is meant as a gentle correction and educational opportunity, so I do hope I was gentle enough.

You can’t be me for twenty five years without knowing the difference between someone making an honest mistake…and someone being deliberately cruel. I am 99 44/100ths percent sure yours was an honest mistake (actually 100 percent…I just like the 99 44/100ths thing…showing my age if you can figure that one out…the reference)

Welcome to the Planet, Angela! I’m happy to see that the area of justice for transgender citizens is going to be a regular everyday area of coverage for the Planet. And humor makes it even better. Looking forward to hearing more from your “beat.”

Actually, that took a bit of developing. Story behind this is that, after Pat McCrory, our infamous former Governor was defeated…a lot of people were wishing him ill…one person wrote me wishing he would get cancer.

I had to put my foot down, and told this person that, as badly as Governor McCrory had hurt us…wishing cancer on anyone was not cool.

Then I got thinking…Cancer is the Zodiac sign represented by the Crab…and the rest is history. The wish I gave to transphobes in my article…was first wished on Governor McCrory…as an irreverent way of addressing the expressed wish that he would be stricken with cancer.

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