Monday, October 20, 2008

The search for a missing local boy has been called off by Smallville Police Chief Parker after an exhaustive two-week investigation.The boy, whose name has been withheld by police, was last seen on Main Street nearly fifteen days ago wearing a sailor outfit and taunting local hero Superboy during the most recent visit by the Legion of Super-Heroes, time-traveling teenaged heroes from the 30th Century.“He was sticking his tongue out and telling Superboy that he ‘ain’t so hot,’” the child’s mother reported, “and then there was this ‘whooshing’ sound and he was gone. ““ We were all so caught up in the negative feelings we had for poor Superboy that at first we didn’t notice he was missing,” the mother added, alluding to the influence of Legionnaire Saturn Girl, who used her super thought-casting abilities to drum up public disapproval of Superboy as part of an elaborate scheme to drive the Boy of Steel away.In justifying the halt of the search, Chief Parker was quoted as saying, “We looked and looked, but saw no sign of the boy,” denying rumors that search crews had found the singed remnants of what appeared to be a sailor outfit on the back forty of the former Kent farm just outside Smallville.“He probably stowed away on that time machine those super-teens use. Most likely having the time of his life a thousand years from now. Kids are always getting into monkeyshines like that around here. I’m sure he’ll turn up safe and sound the next time the Legion comes to visit.”The child’s anxious mother is not so certain, however. “I just want to know where he is,” she said, visibly shaken. “If those super-teens have him in the future, can’t they send back some kind of message telling me he’s safe? And,” she paused at this point, obviously reluctant to continue, “what about Superboy? He can travel into the future and find out for me. I hate to say anything negative about him after what we all put him through, but…what if Superboy’s somehow involved in his disappearance? Why won’t the police say anything about that possibility?”“That’s ridiculous,” Chief Parker said when questioned about a link between Superboy and the boy’s disappearance. In an uncharacteristic moment of anger he slammed his fist on his desk. “I won’t stand for anyone besmirching that boy’s good name! He’s saved our bacon more times than I can count! I tell you, I won’t stand for rumor-mongering!”When asked to comment, Superboy said, “Missing boy? Uh…Great Scott! A meteorite is heading straight for Smallville!” With a whoosh he streaked off into the sky and since that time has not been available for comment.