Fab Finds – Ugly Phones, Butt-Stuck Poodles, Cool Posters, & More

This beast is reminiscent of the seventh grade, a hideous time in most people’s lives. The color and clunky metal design welcome thoughts of punishment and algebra, and no doubt make that awful, hollow metal sound when the drawers are opened and closed. This is the piece of furniture you want when you hate everything and everyone. It would look great in a film producer’s office.

This poodle letter holder has a pencil sticking out of its ass. Draw your own conclusions (get it?) Never mind. If you like things that could potentially make people not talk to you, this is your letter holder. If you like poodles, this is also your letter holder. If you like pencils in dog butts, guess what? This is your letter holder.

This poster is a must-have for anyone that is cool. If you don’t like older John Waters movies, and especially if you don’t “get” or like Divine, you are terrible and undeserving of happiness. A show-stopping tour de force of unrelenting filth and hilarity, Female Trouble is the punk rock film to end all. If you haven’t seen it, do that now. Then buy the print.

This is hideous. If you’ve ever wanted to be tethered to a brown cord that connects you to a brown phone that’s dripping in alligator print, look no further. With all the glamour of unnatural reptile skin and touch-tone gorgeousness, you will be the envy of a very select group of people with no taste, or simply bad taste. Note the shimmer of the gator skin. Talk to all zero of your friends in “style” when you purchase this wall-mountable bit of… beauty.