April 27, 2009

If you go through airport security, you will receive a pat-down search.

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How do I know? It's happened to me 3 times. And yesterday, when I made a point of wearing pants to the airport, I saw 2 women in long skirts — there are some really pretty sundresses out there — and both of them got pulled aside for a pat down.

ADDED: I'm guess the government has decided to pat-down all wearers of flowing skirts as a general rule as a way to search all females in traditional Islamic dress. Any complaints about profiling will be easily met.

Sounds to me that the Male Human Animals are in heat again this spring, sneakily selecting random women to test for weapon curves. The dedication of these Government servants is so noble. Why they will be the best men to transfer over to the new Government Health Centers where they can dedicate themselves to selecting women for random mammograms.

Don't wear shorts on a plane. You're in an air-conditioned environment and sitting close to a stranger. It's bad enough that your clothed thigh may touch the stranger sitting next to you. Don't wangle the naked thigh near her!

Coming this summer to a theater near you: Shorts On A Plane, the new blockbuster with Samuel L. Jackson, a retired DC cop whose fateful flight is taken over by Men In Shorts, former US soldiers from Iraq, now rightwing terrorists on their way to staged Tea Parties and then to bomb abortion clinics.

Don't wear shorts on a plane.I dated a guy once who was a supervisor for an airline (at the airport). He wouldn't bump men to first class if they were wearing shorts or sleeveless shirts. He said the other passengers didn't want to sit next to that person.

As men well know, most long billowy summer skirt are translucent in backlight, so modesty is already compromised to a point.

Were I to wear one on a flight; I'd wear color-matching, opaque French cut briefs, hike up the skirt and be done with it. I wear less on the beach with strangers, so no biggie.

I'm hoping you aren't referring to to athletic shorts, Althouse. That is too icky to contemplate... eeeeewwww!

In Sth Florida people of all ages, sizes and shapes wear shorts every where, so you get over it. Tommy Bahama and Kahala, for example, make longer cargo shorts that don't expose the thigh when sitting.

However, athletic shorts are totally inappropriate outside the gym or off the court/field.

One wonders just what sort of ensemble would be turned away from a flight as inappropriate?

It is true that most men have hair on their legs. And who knows how long it has been since a man has been cleaned, much less disinfected and deloused. Therefore all men should wear long pants, unless they are really good at playing Bagpipes. Pres. Obama is above such quaint American traditions.

I recall, once in O'Hare, seeing a rather overweight women with an enormous bosom who was flying wearing just a one-piece PINK swim suit, and her body was severely testing the engineered strength of the suit. It could have been worse, it was a swim suit with a skirted bottom.

Well, I assume she was flying, she was walking around the Concourse. I was very glad that she didn't get the seat next to me on the flight to Munich. That would've been uncomfortable.

*A large woman tried to steal a 15 lb Kretschmar Baked Ham from the long-closed Foodland supermarket on Jefferson Avenue in St. Louis MO's Lafayette Square neighborhood by putting it between her legs under a housedress and trying to shimmy up towards the exit.

"When I think of New York City, I think of all the girls, the Jewish girls, the Italian girls, the Irish, Polack, Chinese, German, Negro, Spanish, Russian girls, all on parade in the city. I don't know whether it's something special with me or whether every man in the city walks around with the same feeling inside him, but I feel as though I'm at a picnic in this city. I like to sit near the women in the theaters, the famous beauties who've taken six hours to get ready and look it. And the young girls at the football games, with the red cheeks, and when the warm weather comes, the girls in their summer dresses . . ." He finished his drink. "That's the story. You asked for it, remember. I can't help but look at them. I can't help but want them."