Holy virgins Batman! If you have a keen eye (and by that I mean, if you're one of the five people who actually read these things), you'd notice from the attendance sheet that we had no fewer than 6 virgins on trail for #635. Surely that must be a record! AND STOP CALLING ME SHIRLEY!

We mingled with many-a-cilvilian at the Ten Stone on South Street - a venue where the hash has not been in quite some time. I think we were pretty well behaved, all things considered. The close quarters in there lent itself to heightened interaction between the hasher and non-hasher communities... But it was a happy marriage, and I have every expectation that there will be many more Ten Stone hashes to come.

​Above you'll see SOTG during chalk talk, leading this particularly rag-tag group of hlessil on our dark journey. Truly, reader, she is El-ahrairah to her people!

Once again, this On-Sec found himself too drunk and unaware to activate his GPS prior to starting trail, which is unfortunate because it was quite scenic and lovely... Pictured here is the second half of it.

The first half, I sorta recall, took us through the mean streets of West Philadelphia (a.k.a. Penn's campus). It was chock full of Mean Girls ("ummm... you guys are like, so sweaty") and violin playing, calculus performing Asian grad students. In a fantastic piece of racist behavior, Goose nearly accosted one believing that he was on the verge of capturing the hare: our very own Asian Just Bryan. BN occurred at West Philly's William Street Common.

Highlights from last night are too numerous to count, but let me try to include a few gems:

Circle started with a solemn and uncharacteristically respected moment of silence for Chyna (and to some degree, Prince).

Sideshow's passport has nearly disintegrated due to near saturation with boob and hoo-hah sweat.

Mismanagement needs to host a learning clinic for hashers to assist in the art of schooling virgins.

Amazon party - nuff said.

Just Timae has the most beautiful "thoughts" this side of the Mississippi.

Overheard on trail: "I was eating p!#$y and kicking a$$"

Just Colleen: NO JINXING (you got it dude)!

Bitch $hots short changed Just Black Chris at least 12" in her artist's rendition.

I learned a new word, "Sorostitute"

But most importantly... WE HAD A NAMING.

The BFM's own super over-achieving, wild-child rearing, nearly perfect attending, formerly Just Pete is now and forever:

Congratulations and welcome to the club STFT - you deserved it!! Special mention goes to Silence of the Goats, who not only bequeathed a name for the very first time, but it also happened to be for Pete - her virgin so many months ago. You did it Goats! **tear**