I am a very lucky man – I’ve got an amazing wife and am the father to three wonderful kids. Lylli was born on Halloween in 2008, Gracie was born November 2010 and although she only lived for 17 months, she will remain as much a part of this family as the rest of us, and Mickey Gray, our first son, was born in June of 2012. I’m not going to say that life has gone exactly as I would have wanted, but it is a good life and I am determined to make the best of it.

This blog is an attempt to document my quest to become a dad that my family can be proud of.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

This last weekend was tough on friday evening we had to bring my daughter into the ER because she was inconsolable - was screaming for 2 hours and nothing helped - turned out it was probably gas -- she was pretty lethargic on Saturday. On sunday evening she was wheezing, so after a few calls to the experts, we found ourselves back in the ER at 6:30 pm. At one point there were four people in the room all wanting to do some sort of test or procedure on my baby. she was screaming as they held her down. It was at that point that I realized that with this baby my life will never be the same -- I felt more pain at that instant than I ever have before. The doctor said the chest x-ray showed a little pneumonia and she also tested positive for RSV. They checked us into the hospital around 12:30. I ran home and let the dogs out and got back to the hospital around 1:30. My amazing wife knew that Lylli would prefer to sleep in her arms, so she somehow managed to climb into this tiny crib and held our baby in her arms while she was hooked up to four probes and oxygen -- around 4 in the morning the nurse finally brought a larger bed and made us promise to take responsibility that she doesn't fall out. I slept in a recliner in the corner. my sister in law was able to take care to of the dogs in the morning -- Monday afternoon I went home and gathered some things for our stay, took a shower and played with the dogs a bit and then headed back up to the hospital to spend the night. Lylli has been getting mucous vacuumed out of her nose and a nebulizer treatment every four hours. she also has had oxygen fed to her in a "blow by" tube to keep her oxygen levels up. The antibiotics she was on caused her to have some blood in her diaper, but that issue has been corrected. Unfortunately with the roads being the way they are, I had to come home tonight because Carrie's sister couln't make it back here from Burnsville. It is killing me to not be there with them, but its the best for the dogs -- I have to go into the office tomorrow. The doctor told us this morning that we should plan on having our new years celebration in the hospital, so hopefully she'll be coming home with us on Thursday. This sure puts things into perspective. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to either of them, but know that I am a very lucky man.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Well the workouts are getting a bit tougher (pathetic I know, but you'vegot to start somewhere). Last night was plenty tough, in my defense,the streets were full of snow and that made it harder -- my legs andcalves got pretty tired at the end. I am on week four of the program --last night I walked for a few minutes and then jogged for 1/4 mile,walked for a bit, jogged 1/2 mile, walked a bit, jogged 1/4 mile, walkeda bit, jogged 1/2 mile, and then walked home. Felt great when I wasdone, but realized that I've got a long road ahead of me. And to top itoff, I ate so much when I got home that I weighed more than I have inawhile. That's not good considering today is Christmas Eve and theeating has is just starting and I'm obligated to perform -- I can't letmy family and friends down -- I know they all double their recipesbecause I'll be there. Oh well, this running will shed the poundseventually, or I'll be the most in shape fat guy you'll see.. MerryChristmas!!

Monday, December 22, 2008

So far, I have managed to manage all of the logistics for the day -- mywife was able to meet the plumber at the house before going to a meeting-- he is doing his thing. So of course my snowblower broke and anyshoveling will need to be done by hand -- because of how busy I was allweekend, not to mention how cold it was, I didn't have a chance toshovel the driveway -- of course we have had to drive over it many timescausing it to be very packed down. Got a call from Appliancesmart --they are delivering our new washer and dryer tomorrow -- the ladyconfirms the delivery time frame and just as we are about to hang up,she says "Make sure that the walkways and driveway is snow free or theywon't deliver". -- GREAT! Do now I had to track down some clown with aplow to spend less than 5 minutes on my driveway. The guy knows I'mdesperate so he's charging me $30 -- nice just put it on the list withthe other $800 I'm spending today and the $1200 tomorrow.

Friday night I stopped at Target in Columbia Heights on my way home toget a few things -- Yikes, Rough crowd -- felt like a Wal-Mart-- it wasa complete zoo and half of the stuff I stopped there for was sold out --had to stand and wait for some yahoo to bring me mini cupcake cups forover 20 minutes -- had to stop at Walgreens to pick up Corn Flakes andspecific candies for the wife's cupcake project. Got home and made somesteaks and twice baked potatoes as well as a couple large rum and diets.The wife and I opened gifts -- I got some really cool things with picsof the baby for my office, a Nike + watch that I wanted that works withmy iPod thing , and a gift card for sportsman's warehouse so I can getsome new fishing gear for the cabin. Ate terrible (There were milkyways and snickers in my stocking). Saturday I delivered the Santa suitto Petsmart, stopped by Borders for a book, and went to Wal-Mart -- onceagain a zoo - nothing ruins the Christmas spirit faster than walkinginto someone's gas bomb every aisle while trying to find a pair of whitegloves for the Santa suit and a generic onesie for under the kidsChristmas outfit. I made it home and prepared the appetizers for thefestivities that night. When it was almost time to leave for the party,I walked out to start the car and the battery was dead in the wife's car- I drove it that morning and hit the fog lights with my knee when I gotout -- completely drained the battery -- so in the middle of thesnowstorm, in my chuck Taylors I had to push the Malibu into theunshoveled driveway - got it stuck just out of the garage so I had todrive my Honda into the yard because the batteries of course are onopposite sides which would have worked perfectly if they weren't on thewrong sides of the driveway -- had to walk around in knee deep snow toaccomplish this -- finally got jumped the Malibu and got it going,reparked the Honda and couldn't close the hood -- luckily, yesterday Iwas able to close it for my lovely commute into Minneapolis thismorning. Drove out to my mom's and did the Christmas thing. Always anuncomfortable event, but cool because everybody is excited to see thekid. Sunday, the wife and kid went to Burnsville to make Cookies withher mom and sister. I stayed home and tore apart the basement laundryroom and shower in the bathroom while watching/listening to football.I, for the life of me, cannot figure out how a dead bird was in the wallbehind the shower stall. Wife was going to pickup dinner so I waiteduntil she got home before going to Menards for my list of items I neededfor Pete today, especially the plug I needed for the gas line so I couldunplug the dryer and move it out of his way. She finally got home at 7-- I walked up stairs thinking I'd eat and talk to her for a couple ofminutes, change and then head up to the store. The baby was screaming-- she said because of that she didn't pick up dinner so told me to goso I can hurry back. Ticked me off because I had planned on spendingsome time at Menards, so I got mad and left -- sprinted through Menardsand stopped at taco bell for her. Got home and the plug I bought forthe gas line was too small. I was crabby and she was too -- not a goodnight. Wife and kid are back in the bedroom now, so I get woken upseveral times, but she still deals with it, so I'm blessed there. Thismorning she told me to work on my attitude. Me? Attitude? At first Igot mad, but took some time and yeah, Ok, I'm a crabby SOB and need towork on it. Pete, the plumber is at our place as I type, probablyswearing at me because of the lack of direction. Washer and dryer cometomorrow -- hopefully it works out. Bottom line -- weekend recap -->poor eating, bad attitude, and no running. Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Well I made it 7 weeks. Lylli is 7 weeks old today - My wife and daughter slept on the couch in the living room for seven weeks leaving me the bed to myself. I've been warned that tonight they're coming back in. Oh well, it was one heck of a run and lets be honest, most guys would have had to move to the couch thmesleves or at the very least would have never gotten that much time, so I'll count my blessings. I took the dogs for a walk last night -- turned it into a run -- not a very long one, but I'm going to count it nonetheless. Tonight is Christmas at the Delaney's -- just the three of us and toys/bones for the dogs. I already gave Carrie her camera so her fun tonight will basically consist of watching me open gifts -- sometimes I start to wonder if I'm really as big of a jerk as it comes out when I explain these things. Got Christmas at my mom's place tomorrow night and bringing the kid to see Santa. I was going to go to the game on Sunday, but with. Pete. the plumber coming on Monday, I now will spend my Sunday listening to the game while I tear out the basement shower and some sheetrock. The diet is not going well -- didn't make my goal weight this week, but like I said before, hopefully It'll catch up eventually -- probably not when I eat a banana chocolate chip muffin for breakfast and a greasy burger and fries from L Phillips for lunch -- but what could I do, my step-brother was buying - don't blame me - blame Christmas!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

My lower back is hurting this morning, either from running two days agoor carrying around my dog Bodey. Oh well, not bad enough to use as anexcuse, but I'm starting to wonder if 36 is the year where I reallystart to feel old -- great year to try and learn how to run! I'm doingsome electrical stuff at my house tonight (OK, my buddy is and I'll trynot to get in the way), so I probably won't be able to run - If we'redone early enough, I may try to run outside with the dogs because itssupposed to be much warmer today than the last couple. Otherwise it'llbe tomorrow and one of the days this weekend. Weighed 287.5 thismorning, but will probably be back at 290 tonight -- my goal was 285tomorrow, so I'm getting close - hopefully one of these weeks when therunning time gets extended, I'll finally catch up. Pete, the plumber,stopped by last night and we devised a plan for the basement bath andlaundry room so Sunday will be spent tearing out the shower and gettingready for him next week. Friday and Saturday nights are Christmasevents and Saturday during the day we're bringing Lylli to the petrescue's Santa event (I'm not playing Santa this year because theschedule didn't work). We're also going to watch Todd's kids test inTai Kwan Do -- Makayla just turned 9 - the belt she is testing for isone degree below her black and Zak's is two degrees -- If it goes asplanned Makayla could have her black belt before the spring and Zakcould test for his black belt this summer (before he turns 6!!). All ofthis news about housing and the cost to build being low is making methink that we should build something in the spring -- I'm going to lookinto this more after I get the basement bath and laundry in order --despite all that I've done to my house, it may be best just to do enoughso I can get what I owe on it and then buy something else -- since I'llbe buying up from what I have, once the market rebounds, the gains wouldbe exponential to the value of the house and I would probably make outbetter buying someone else's $250,000 place or building on cheap landsince they probably spent $100,000+ more for it a few years ago. Therewill be lots of hurdles in this effort since we'll probably have toqualify for both house and move to the new one before we sell the onewe're in -- we'd never be able to sell it with 5 dogs!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Got a call when I was about 3 minutes from home last night from my wifeasking if she could leave the kid with me for a bit while she ran someerrands. She's been with my daughter 24 x 7 since she's been born withthe exception of the three hours we left her with my mom to catch amovie. She left at 5:30 -- the moment she stepped out of the door, thebaby fills her diaper causing her to become fussy -- I am more thancapable, at this point, of taking care of that, so I managed to changeher diaper and her clothes because of a little leakage. I finallyfinished the change and the baby started crying -- I went to the fridgebecause the wife said she left some breast milk in there for me. It wasfrozen solid -- so as the baby was screaming I attempted to thaw out themilk by running hot water over it -- doesn't work -- I walked around,rocked her, whatever I could think of and the baby wouldn't stopscreaming -- it wasn't just the "let daddy know that something's wrongcry" -- there were actual tears coming out and she was screaming for solong and hard that she started getting hoarse - in the mean time, it gotto be 6 o'clock in which at that time each night, my dogs go ballisticbecause they know its time for dinner -- after attempting to thaw twodifferent milk things from the freezer, it became obvious that shewouldn't even take a bottle from me. I had to call my wife and say "GETHOME NOW" -- I then hung up and tried to settle her and the dogs down --of course nothing worked until my wife walked in the door - She held herand within a minute or so, she was resting quietly -- Not a funexperience. On a brighter note -- the Eye-fi SD card came for hercamera yesterday -- works amazing -- she can now take a picture and itautomatically uploads to a folder on her computer with that days datewithout any chords or anything -- very cool. Was not able to run lastnight -- so I will be starting week 3 of the couch potato to 5K programtonight -- this will be timed out perfectly to have me ready for the 5Kin Chisago City on Jan 31st.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Well the weekend went about as planned -- I went up to the Y on Fridayand signed up -- you'd think as many times as I've started and quitthere that there would be a quicker way to sign back up (And do I reallylook like I want you to give me run down of the Latin Dance classschedule?). I finally got upstairs and walked the track a couple oftimes and then ran a couple miles alternating walking and running. Thebad news is that my ipod nike + deal had me thinking that miles were alittle shorter than the 10 laps per mile at the Y. Apparently it isn'tcalibrated for a 300 pounder with a 28 inch inseam. The run went OK --I'm out of shape, but lumbered along just fine. I got home just in timefor my wife to come home with some food for me. We got the whole creworganized and watched "Fred Claus". Woke up on Saturday raring to getsome things done -- with the baby, we are not exactly super efficient atleaving the house yet, so we didn't leave until after 1 O'clock. Wewent to Appliancesmart, walked in and let old Norm talk us into thelovely Whirlpool set they had sitting right at the entrance for obviousreasons. We were pretty happy with the whole deal (that is until I wenthome and realized that I have a gas dryer and just bought an electric --but a phone call on Sunday morning and some more money should have thatissue all taken care of). Carrie was pretty happy when Norm, the sales guy singled her out and said to me that without the agitater in the front load machine, it'll have all the room she'll need. After Appliancesmart we went to Fleet Farm insearch of some gifts for the many horse people on our gift list. BurgerKing, Northtown, The Tailor, Drycleaners, Kohl's -- then finally home.We made dinner - I had a gigantic Rum and coke while we wrapped giftsand watched another movie that I streamed from Netflix through thelaptop onto the TV -- Sure it was "Lean On Me" from 20 years ago, but Ithink I'm going to like the ability to get movies that way. On Sunday Iwoke up and went to National Camera to pickup the wife's Christmas gift.I've been doing a lot of research and bought her a new SLR camera. WhenI got home she was doing a little makeshift photo shoot with our baby,so I ended up giving it to her early so she can learn how to use it before our many Christmases (we were going to exchange gifts this Fridayanyway). I better make this running thing work or there will be anendless supply of pictures of Fat Rich in 10+ megapixel glory... Prettyboring entry, but an entry, none-the-less

Friday, December 12, 2008

Gone are the days where a Friday night meant hurrying home to find thelocation where friends would be meeting to visit and have somecocktails. This Friday consists of driving my hand-me-down greenstation wagon with the fogged up windows and the check engine light onout of the city that is starting to liven up with the vibe of thoselooking to have an exciting Friday night. Not me - I'll be drivingnorth to my house full of stinky dogs looking for attention. I willpick up whatever mess they have made, whether it be #1, #2, or ashredded rug. I will then change into some grubbier clothes and try tokeep them dog hair and drool free until I leave. Today my wife anddaughter are at the Mall of America. They are meeting her parents andsister for dinner so they can get their fix of seeing the baby. I willmore than likely have an orange-stain bottomed Tupperware containerfilled with the beef strognaoff-esque leftovers from last night. Myexcitement for the night will be going to the YMCA and signing up so Ican attempt to waddle in a hurry around the track a couple of timesbefore holding my side and wheezing all while being mortified every timeI make eye contact with the many fit people lapping me at Mach 5. Allthe while remembering back to the day when I had to quit the Y becausethey didn't have enough weight for me -- now I'm just hoping they let meuse the ellipticals (there's got to be some weight limit, got knows theWii fit in my basement sweats every time the console turns on). I willthen return to my house and wait for the arrival of my wife and daughterand hope she was not super hungry so I can pout until she lets me eatwhatever leftovers she has in her little white foam box from TonyRoma's. She will be tired and won't be able to keep her eyes open muchlater than, the now midnight like, 9:45. I will no doubt go to bedearly because I'm sulking and board, besides I'll need to prepare formy exciting day of cleaning out the laundry room and basement bathroom,not to mention going to Appliancesmart searching for a washer and dryerthat doesn't break the bank. Good Times...

I told myself that I was going to weigh in on Fridays, so I did and was290 again. So much for having the 290's behind me -- oh well, I amgoing to run tonight and am also signing up for the Y and will run againthis weekend too. Its week 1 of the 5K training, so its pretty easy,but its as much to get my shins in shape as it is my cardio, so I needto take it slow. Hopefully I can catch up with my weight loss planeventually. According to my plan, I was supposed to be 287 today and285 by the 19th. Chimo if you're reading this, I think you should trainfor this with me -- we never see each other anymore and very rarelytalk. I think it would be a good way to reconnect and an accomplishmentthat you know we would be very proud of -- I'd love to go through itwith you -- think about it

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I weighed myself this morning and was 289. Hopefully the 290's arebehind me, but with Christmas coming, I'm not super optimistic. Iofficially told the manager of my Tuesday night softball team that I wasnot playing this year so I could concentrate on losing weight andrunning. I talked to the YMCA and they are running a no initiation dealright now, so I will be signing up there before the end of the week.Getting all of my ducks in a row for this thing -- I sure hope I canfollow through this time...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Its my intention to participate in at least one event each month nextyear -- I won't quite be ready for a 5K in January, but will do the raceup the place on January 31st - it's a fundraiser where you walk up about600 stairs. February is the valentines day 5K around Lake Harriet - Ihope to be ready for this one. March 14th is the Human Race. April isthe Running of the Pigs at Midway stadium with presented by the St PaulSaints (I wonder if I'll be the biggest pig there?). I have not foundanything for may yet and I'm going to be optimistic and hope that I'llbe ready for a half marathon in June.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Well I did it - sort of -- today was my first day of running -- drove home in the blizzard and found my ipod and put on some clothes - grabbed my dog and headed out in the snow for a very short run -- I only ran a little over a mile, but made sure I ran almost all of it (walk briefly at he beginning and end, but ran the rest -- way further than I thought I could. I know that's brutal for most folks, but a 9:30 minute mile felt like a good start for me -- my lungs and shins are sore, but I feel good. I really need to do this thing for my wife and daughter, but mostly for myself -- I'm capable of great things and I'm sick of selling myself short -- this journey is going to be long and very hard for a short middle aged fat guy, but if I can do it, I'll be so proud of myself and just might get healthy along the way - 5K, here I come!

I bought a new powerful amplified antenna for the TV since we cancelledour dish network because of issues with the receiver -- a minute aftersetting it up, I was moving around the rabbit ears and snapped one off-- Thanksgiving week, I paid to get a faster internet service and theychanged something that appears to have slowed down my service (not quiteworth the extra $10 a month for slower service). Last week we got topay a plumber to fix our kitchen sink drain that was leaking all overthe inside of my custom kitchen cabinets - My wife also vacuumed up asharpee which in turn broke our expensive vacuum -- yesterday, my wife'scar got a flat while we were in Burnsville in the middle of a prettyhefty snowfall -- this confirms that we need to replace her tires beforethe real winter comes. It's a good thing we waited until the day afterthe sale to do it. After fighting with the people at LA Fitness todayto opt out of my "No Commitment" membership -- I am lucky enough to getto pay for three months for a membership that I used 3 times. This goeswonderfully with my ATT cell bill which has somehow been $170 for monthswithout me realizing it. And to top off the day (well as of now thatis), I just got a call saying that the washing machine is broke andleaking water everywhere. That will work out wonderfully since my dogshave decided that the poop is in season and no less than 3 times a day,I find one of them has rubbed poo-flavored slobber on my pants leg --not too mention, my pitbull decided to take a whiz on my laptop backpackwhich contained my Wii.

Well today's the big day -- day 1 of my "Couch Potato to 5K" program.Not sure when I'll fit it in since I didn't get out of bed early enoughto do it this morning and I've got to watch the two hour series finaleof Boston Legal tonight, but its only a "Brisk five-minute warm-up walk.Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for atotal of 20 minutes". The weekend, once again was filled with severalrestaurants and unhealthy treats - hopefully once I start exercising andseeing results it will curb my cravings for junk food or at leastcounter act the effects. As I was laying in bed last night fightingfor position and some covers with 3 dogs and a mastiff laying beside meon the floor snoring as my wife and daughter sleep on the couch in theliving room, I was thinking about how I would run this winter -- Ialready belong to two gyms that have no running track -- I think I'vedecided to quit LA Fitness and move to the YMCA -- I can't quit theother one because I'm locked in for another 6 months or more -- The Yhas a track and family locker rooms so I don't have to spend my morningwith the 70 year old naked guy reading the paper in a lawn chair by theshower. Not quite sure how I'm going to pull this off with the wife,but I'll figure something out. Until then I guess its outside in thecold or the treadmill at the health club. My first goal on the horizonis the Human Race 5K on March 14th

Thursday, December 4, 2008

You know, I truly can't believe I am in this position today. I havegotten so fat that the retail stores can't clothe me. For some time,I've had to rummage around the bottom of the racks at the stores lookingfor the hard to find 40 x 30's (of which are even too long, but what's aguy to do when he's got the leg length of mini me and the torso of Shaq?). I thought to prepare for my new upcoming contract I wouldfinally go shopping for some clothes -- This has not been fun for me forsome time, but this last time was the worst. In my optimism, I hoped tonot have to wear baggy and jumbo sized clothing for too long, so Ididn't want to spend a lot of money since I'd obvious be buying thetailored pants in size 34 in a matter of months (that's how my twistedmind works) -- I cut a coupon out of the paper and thought I wouldcheckout the new Herbergers in the mall by the house. I meanderedthrough rows of clothes (which incidentally are way too narrow for myshoulders not to knock items off the racks constantly). As I wandered,I grabbed a few pairs of dress pants (sized 40). I also stumbled uponsome collared shirts that I figured I could wear with a pair of loafersand some nicer jeans for a more casual, yet still accepted look in theWells Fargo Environment. I walked past the fitting rooms between themen's and children's clothing because I felt like some sort of a weirdogoing in there -- had the fear that I'd hear "Honey come here, we'lljust try those Osh Kosh B'gosh on at home" out of the mouth of aconcerned mother that watched the fat sweaty guy with the Chuck taylorson slipping into fitting room #2 -- After finding a fitting room in amore comfortable location I slipped out of my jeans to try on my newfound treasures and found that I could not come close to buttoning themand to make matters worse -- the buttons on the XXL collared shirtsformed that stretched out look between the buttons that happens when awell endowed woman wears a button up shirt -- needless to say, it wasfar less sexy on me. I was mortified, but bought the shirts anyway...

Give me a break -- Its time for me to hang up the carbonated beveragesfor awhile. Am I truly making a difference ordering a diet instead of aregular. Probably not, considering the extra burger I order, because Isubconsciously think the diet soda is saving me calories, more thanmakes up for it. And lets be honest here -- the comment I make abouthow "she didn't tell me if she wanted cheese on it or not" just so thecashier doesn't think its all for me is not fooling anybody. Its time Icut back on the fast food at least a bit -- from now on, at the veryleast -- one meal deal, no extra sandwiches/sides/or desserts, and adiet soda or better yet - water

OK -- so we'll call today a small hurdle. For years I would partake inthe Thursday lunchtime ritual of eating the Turkey day feast in thecafeteria in the 100 S Washington building. I have been gone for justover a year and ever since starting this new contract with Wells Fargo,I have been eagerly awaiting the first Thursday that the cafeteria wasopen, since last week it was closed for the actual Turkey day(Thanksgiving). I have to admit that my food for the day has not beenthe greatest. A mocha and breakfast sandwich for breakfast and now aTurkey day lunch. This is going to be harder than I thought. Imentioned earlier that I had been doing some planning. If I can carryout this plan successfully, I will be training (using the couch potatoto 5k course) to run a 5K in March. I would then spend the following 15weeks to train for a half marathon (maybe the Gary Bjorkland atGrandma's in Duluth on June 16th). If I can pull that off, I would liketo spend the following 15+ weeks preparing for the TC Marathon. I havehad many of these master plans and to be perfectly honest have veryrarely followed through, especially these last few years. But they saythe first step is to write down your goals, so there you go...

Well, I quickly realized that crunching the numbers and optimistically planning runs for the following year will not actually lose the weight for me. I weighed myself a few days ago and I was a disgusting 289. This morning I weighed myself and I was 291. That is the wrong direction. The Holiday season coupled with the new baby has prompted lots of visiters and group occasions and my will power has not exactly been perfect to this point. I am at a turning point and I hope this blog will help keep me honest. More later...