April 23, 2018

the feels

You know how when you get woken up multiple times in a night because your dog starts screaming in pain for no discernible reason and you get up and comfort him each time and then try to go back to sleep, but then it happens again, and you go to work the next morning with bags under your eyes and three cups of coffee at once and phone the vet as soon as they open and get an appointment, and you spend the rest of the morning knowing you're about to put your dog down because it's obviously some kind of horrible bone-riddling cancer or a melon-sized swollen organ that's important and you're a terrible owner because you didn't know, and then you drive home with a pit in your stomach but you put the dog in the car anyway and you and your wife take him in and listen and talk and let them do x-rays, and you find out that instead your dog just has some hip bone stuff that hurts and needs meds and isn't going to die and you get to take him back home and have happy biccie time again tomorrow morning, and then you get home and freak the fuck out and cry and lose your shit because you thought he would never get to come home again, but he did and he's lying right there in front of you, sleeping and snoring gently?

That shit's exhausting.

Update: And when the next morning, your dog gets up from his bed without crying out in pain and comes to get his biccie, you start crying again because this has happened every single day for years and years and you never once realized it was beautiful.