Tag: dies

On arrival in heaven, the Holocaust survivor tells God a Holocaust joke. God says, “that’s not funny.” The survivor replies, “ah, well, you had to be there.” View Reddit by ivanthecurious – View Source Please follow and like us:

When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.” The man says, “No problem. I’m from Ottawa.” So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then goes back to

An Indian shaman dies and his only student isn’t very good but he can’t let his people down so when they ask him if snow is coming he tells them. “I must go and speak with the spirits. All of you cut firewood until I get back though just in case.” And so the whole

The morgue sends for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, to identify the body. Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says, “Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over.” The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, “Nope, ain’t Bubba.” The mortician thinks

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. “Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you

He is about to climb up the white clouded stairs and stops in front of a golden gate. There is a bearded man waiting for him. The Muslim asks: “Are you Mohammed?” “No, I’m St. Peter. Mohammed is higher up” The Muslim is very happy to hear that Mohammed is more important than Saint Peter

A Calvinist dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives, he sees two lines to get in. One is labeled “Predestination” and one is labeled “Free Will”. So, being a Calvinist, he goes to the back of the Predestination line and waits for his turn. When he gets to the front of the line, the

Lucifer : I don’t get it, you weren’t supposed to be here, maybe there’s some mixup, hold on….”*calls God*” God : Yo Lucy, wassup? Lucifer : Was Mr. Rowan supposed to be here, I don’t find him on the list. God : Oh yeah, he was supposed to be here in heaven. Looks like Reaper