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How Boomers Shaped Millennial Romance

Couples therapist Esther Perel has been recognized as one of the world’s most original and insightful thinkers about couples, sexuality, and the peculiar paradoxes besetting modern marriage in the Western world. In this clip from her Networker Symposium keynote, she talks about the complicated and contradictory needs that are shaping Millennial marriage and commitment today.

Three Steps to Effective Conversation

Oren Jay Sofer • 11/8/2018 • No Comments

By Oren Jay Sofer - Dialogue is a lot like dancing. It takes time to learn the basics, but when we’re conversing smoothly with someone else, it can be magical. We find a flow as we shift attention back and forth, hearing one another and allowing things to settle.

Five Clinicians Give Their Take on This Tricky Clinical Scenario

By Chris Lyford - Jonathan is in his 30s and struggles with intimacy, which is why he came to therapy. Sometimes during sessions, he checks his phone for emails or updates, even though his therapist has asked him not to. She suspects Jonathan's phone use may be affecting his “real life” relationships, but he insists it’s not a problem. Here's how five therapists say they'd tackle the situation.

What Co-Regulation Actually Looks Like

Stephen Porges • 7/18/2018 • 8 Comments

In developing the Polyvagal Theory, psychophysiologist Stephen Porges transformed the way therapists understand the underlying mechanisms of traumatic response and how safety, caring, and trustworthiness are conveyed unconsciously in our body language, voice tonality, facial expression, and eye contact. In this video clip, he explains what healthy co-regulation looks like in the body.

...And The 60-Second "Truth Bomb" Exercise to Get You Started

When it comes to talking about love and relationships with young adult children, too many parents are silent. But research shows that the vast majority of young adults want to hear guidance and wisdom from parents and older role models. In the following interview, couples therapist and author Alexandra Solomon shares a few ways to get started.

It Exists in the Most Ordinary Places. Here's How to Find It

By Barbara Fredrickson - At work, you and your teammates celebrate a shared triumph with hugs and high fives. On your morning jog, you smile and nod to greet fellow runners and silently wish them a good day. After a trip that’s kept you apart for too many days, you share a long embrace with a family member. Can these everyday moments be called love? What exactly is love?

Three Ways to Defuse Confrontation

By Barry Jacobs - Nothing reveals the fault lines in sibling relationships like the seismic shift caused by an aging parent's sudden decline. Brothers and sisters can quickly become locked in conflict about what's best for Mom and Dad. Here's how to help them forget their old rivalries and cooperate with one another.

An Interview with Gary Chapman

By Ryan Howes - In our romantic fantasies, the path to true love is smooth. But the couples we see in therapy aren’t always so adept. In his book, The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman writes that people typically tend to express and understand emotional love through one of five “languages”—words of affirmation, quality time, personal gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.

Fraught Parent-Child Relationships Can be an Opportunity for Personal Growth

Leonard Felder • 5/8/2018 • No Comments

By Leonard Felder - Every now and then, we're lucky enough to meet someone who feels driven to let go of old emotional baggage and find the kind of freedom that comes with being able to love wholeheartedly, without inner reservation. When that person is a client, they're a great lesson to us in our own lives.

Why Accepting Help is Empowering for Those Receiving and Giving

By Barry Jacobs - For those who've spent their lifetimes taking pride in giving generously to others, suddenly being on the receiving end of care because of illness or age-related infirmity can be tormenting. For many, rejecting help is regarded as a measure of one's courage and determination in battling family crises brought on by old age or disease. Here are some ways of overcoming this common tendency to refuse help.