The story about "Master Crafted" Weapons

Subject: The story about "Master Crafted" Weapons Fri May 21, 2010 6:36 am

Librarian wrote:

I still don't know the big deal about Master Crafted weapons. Let's see Mord explain this once and for all...

DoZer wrote:

LMFAO!!! yes, I would also like him to explain exactly what I did to make him at hearing the words Master Crafted.....

I'm sick and tired of being asked... hehehe... so here it is. Back in the ancient times (November 2008), in TLRB v0.0.8f to be exact, I had this wonderful idea of giving the opportunity so players could make their own legendary weapons. The concept was that with some work, players could make something that they could treasure. It took me 2 months to come up with the concept and wrote the perfectly balanced rules on TLRB. Back then it was only Da Bank and me... so it was normal standard procedure. We would meet and discuss couple things and they would either remain on TLRB or be removed. Like many things, we glanced and this stuff and approved it, me championing Master Crafted as the best thing after seeing The Emperor walk again. Here are the rules, in all their glory.

MASTER-CRAFTED WEAPONA Master-Crafted Weapon is used by all of the Imperial armies, including the Imperial Guard, Space Marines, Daemonhunters and Witch Hunters. It is a blanket term for any weapon somehow enhanced, either in design or increased power, and that stands out from the other weapons used by other units. Making a weapon Master-Crafted is to make it incredibly ornate and decorated while also improving its functionality. Any weapon (except grenades) may be Master-Crafted and due to the improved design of the weapon, it is more likely that a target will be hit by attacks from this weapon.

That was it. Nothing to it right? In walks Dozer... few days later. Excited, bushy tail, green guy... he joins and wants the rules. On Friday January 21, 2009 I create TLRB v0.1.6 and sent to him. Notice that TLRB is 173 pages strong already. The next Tuesday, I arrive to the local store to play... and find 6 guys, gawking at a huge manual... which I recognize as TLRB. WOW! Chest puff up in pride... I walk closer and I notice a couple of . I look closer and Dozer is shaking his head at me, points at a chair and says... "SIT!" I obeyed like an abused puppy.

I would probably delete the post. So humiliating... Hehehehe....

It took Dozer all 30 seconds to break them to the point I was thankful I was sitting down... I almost cried. After he finished, it took me 10 seconds to accept defeat, 2 minutes to compose myself, 5 minutes of pouting in a corner and I still want to spit at Dozer. A player could create the equivalent of a S6, AP2, +2BS, Rapid Fire/Assault 4 weapon for LESS (~70 credits) than the cost of a Sniper Rifle (now a Long Las Rifle) with no rarity, no requirements for Skills and no restrictions. To make matters worse, you could give one of this perfectly balanced weapons to EVERYONE in your Squad. In other words... I fucked up royally!

It was such a major screw-up, it has become legendary. To this date... every time someone makes a rule that is OK, but needs some tweaking... SOMEONE SOMEWHERE looks at me and says "At least it is not Master Crafted!" The open wounds starts bleeding... the nightmare returns and becomes alive, gnawing at my soul reminding me of how months of work can disappear with few of Dozer's magical sentences. All in good fun... I'm not bitter or angry at my own stupidity. It was a great lesson in fluff vs reality vs game mechanics vs playability.... to a point I'm proud of the horror error... but I wish SOMEONE would screw up a little more, so I can finally make fun of someone else.... right now, not even GW's Space Wolves Ridiculous Psychic Power gets even close to my Master Crafted Weapon. *sigh* WAIT! The Blood Angels Codex is worse... but since half of Earth's population still denying its existence (including me!), I guess it does not count. There will be no hope for me... ever! HA!

So now you know... every time I get 'carried away' you just have to say the (dreaded) magic words... MASTER CRAFTED. I will stop, sit down in despair, crawl in a fetal position, suck my thumb, try not to cry, slap my forehead, shake my head, throw a tantrum, pace around the room scream like a little girl, giggle nervously, paranoiacally look around, breath deeply and try my best to figure out what the hell I'm doing wrong... AGAIN! The best part is when Dozer does it when there is NOTHING wrong... just to see me squirm! Next time you think I'm hard on anyone, think about this.

All in good fun... I can take it as much as I can dish it.

PS: DEATH TO DOZER!!! I won't stop until your mounted rotting head decorates my front lawn as a warning to others!

_________________.The Mordheimer - Death Squads' Chief Editor & Ninja Designer. Bursting with ARACHAS' Dev-Powah™! Can't wait until someone invents a time machine so I can go to the specific day in the past that I volunteered for this, so I can kick my own ass.

Support Bacteria; it is the ONLY culture some people have!Since I ask "What do you think?" to all Staff, I have included it here to save time.

DoZer Mordheimer Justice NEEDS to be Served! Maybe 3rd Degree burns will teach you not to Tom Sawyer me to work!.

Last edited by Mordheimer on Tue Oct 12, 2010 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

_________________.The Mordheimer - Death Squads' Chief Editor & Ninja Designer. Bursting with ARACHAS' Dev-Powah™! Can't wait until someone invents a time machine so I can go to the specific day in the past that I volunteered for this, so I can kick my own ass.

Support Bacteria; it is the ONLY culture some people have!Since I ask "What do you think?" to all Staff, I have included it here to save time.

DoZer Mordheimer Justice NEEDS to be Served! Maybe 3rd Degree burns will teach you not to Tom Sawyer me to work!.

don't worry I am bound to make up something worse then Master crafted......

Nice try... but unless you plan to put The Nightbringer on , honestly thinking & expecting it to be fair, there is no chance in hell you can get close to my own level of stupidity. I bet you a copy of TLRB v0.5.2!!!

EDIT... since I heard about this.

VonHagel wrote:

... that also happen to be the worst invention since the vortex grenade of 2. edition.

Vortex Grenade is such 41st Millennium. I heard that GW just approved the new Necron Codex for WH41k to have an exclusive Magnus Fromage grenade! When used on regular 40k games, you plant the Orbital Strike Template (sold separately for $99)... you may need the help of at least four friends (as if you will have any left) to place it fairly over the table, as our official Death Squads babes are displaying on the illustration to the right. Each model (even if inside vehicles) touching even the shadow of the template must immediately take D66 S9, AP2 hits (they negate Armor, Cover and Invulnerable as well as the effects of Eternal Warrior) or be removed from game via a baseball bat hit.

PS: Did I ever mentioned I think I don't like the path that 40k is taking?

_________________.The Mordheimer - Death Squads' Chief Editor & Ninja Designer. Bursting with ARACHAS' Dev-Powah™! Can't wait until someone invents a time machine so I can go to the specific day in the past that I volunteered for this, so I can kick my own ass.

Support Bacteria; it is the ONLY culture some people have!Since I ask "What do you think?" to all Staff, I have included it here to save time.

DoZer Mordheimer Justice NEEDS to be Served! Maybe 3rd Degree burns will teach you not to Tom Sawyer me to work!.

Man... I just saw this again. It feels EXACTLY as it did over 3 years ago.

_________________.The Mordheimer - Death Squads' Chief Editor & Ninja Designer. Bursting with ARACHAS' Dev-Powah™! Can't wait until someone invents a time machine so I can go to the specific day in the past that I volunteered for this, so I can kick my own ass.

Support Bacteria; it is the ONLY culture some people have!Since I ask "What do you think?" to all Staff, I have included it here to save time.

DoZer Mordheimer Justice NEEDS to be Served! Maybe 3rd Degree burns will teach you not to Tom Sawyer me to work!.