Vegas BACatiON

A few years back, and rather late in the evening, my husband, our good friend and I discovered that none of us had ever really been to Vegas, other than driving through en route to further destinations. Given the lateness of the evening and the perfect amount of bourbon consumed, this seemed a great injustice to all members of the party, an injustice that had to be rectified immediately! Immediately, I say!

And so it was that at 10:15 on a Friday night we three fueled up on espresso and headed for Sin City. I took the first leg of the drive, amped on the excitement of a late night road trip. I drove for two or three hours before handing the wheel off to my husband. I then drifted gently to sleep in the back seat.

When I awoke, we were just dropping onto the strip, and I was strangely…furious! Now down from the alcohol and espresso buzzes, this seemed like the world’s most stupid idea.

“What the eff are we doing here? Did we really think we could just stroll into Vegas at 3:30 am and get a cheap hotel room? Why the heck did we even want to come to Vegas?” I was a real joykill, I can tell you that.

We did find a hotel room, although it wasn’t cheap. The tales of cocktail waitresses plying you with free drinks while you gamble turned out not to apply to the nickel slots. Even so, my husband and I gambled away the small amount of cash we had alloted ourselves in very little time. Our friend did better than we did, but still it was less than 16 hours after we arrived that we found ourselves driving away from the bright lights and be-feathered showgirls. The one saving grace of the entire trip was a $6 breakfast buffet and this amazing tray of bacon. Notice the comparative size of the sausage tray. Clearly Vegas knows which breakfast meat is superior. And that’s the best thing I can say about the entire trip.