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Saturday, 20 July 2013

When I was one chapter away from the ending I didn't know, that the ending was worth it. And worth three stars.

I really recommend you: do not read this review without reading the other four books in the series which come before this, fifth book in the alluring series of Vampire Kisses.

Raven cannot sit down any longer without her lovely Nosferatu, so she catches a bus, again, to Hipsterville and once again, visits The Coffin Club. Now that she has three males who like her, adds another fangy guy to the list: Phoenix.

But who is that guy? And what's up with the underground dance floor where people drink blood like martini?

Plot:
I'm confused if this plot is considered decent.

I did like that the book wasn't too much around Alexander, but it did feel as if he disappeared. But I do like the idea of a club for vampires to express themselves, and I found it really nice that the vampires didn't have to hide all the time from mortals. I would join!

But that's what most of the plot is about. Or was it?

The Pretender Mortal- Raven:
Raven tries to be a poser as a vampire. She pretends the entire book that she's a vampire, and when she is found out, she is so easily forgiven. Even vampires that Raven met a few times were her besties, and I needed a puke bag for those moments.

But I did like how she snicked inside and had the courage being with a bunch of hungry humanoid bats. Nice job! Especially when Alexander told you not to. Thumbs up there.

The One with The MPD (multi personality distorter)- Alexander:
Alexander started being really moody when he meets Raven, constantly lies to her and then, if that wasn't enough, he was dressing up like another guy and almost making his girlfriend fall for him, again. It's like asking your girlfriend to cheat on you.

In other words, he stopped being a lovable character.

King of The Club- Jagger:
When we meet, again, Jagger in this book, he's out of character. He's so nice to Raven, even though he forgiven Alexander, he felt fake. And what's up with him betraying Raven in the end? Does Schreiber tries to make the characters worse?

And where's Luna?

Overall:
This book wasn't a starring one in the series, but I do hope that the six book will make up for it.

Sunday, 7 July 2013

I expected it to be bad. But it was worse that I could have ever imagined.

Ever Bloom (what's with the erotic novel name?) is a psychic after she almost dies with her family in a car crash, and she's the only survivor. She becomes an outcast by choice, leaving her glamorous past of school popularity and mourns about her family every five minutes. Until she meets Damen. Because then, she mourns every two seconds while blaming herself for their death.

Plot:
Many years ago, when I first attempted to read this book (it's been on my shelf since middle school) one of my classmates who read it, and I quote her, said: "it's just like twilight. A total rip-off." I couldn't agree more.

First five chapters make you think that this novel is about psychic powers and immortality and maybe even pop up something a little bit philosophical on a minor level.

Couldn't agree more, Mr. Grumpy Cat. Maybe I should have listened to all those people who tagged this book as 'worst book ever'. But if to tell the truth, I've read worse. And I'm not talking about Twilight.

But still, the plot mostly is all about the undying love. Are you fucking kidding me? First, we have vampires with their own undying love but... seriously, we don't need more people who can love somebody forever like they are blind folded.

Writing:
Too simple. Way too simple.

EverStupid Bloom:
Bella Duck strikes again with a cosplay of a blonde girl. I needed some pain killers because the narration was really painful for my brain.

Ever was popular and had a great boyfriend and a best friend and bla bla bla, until her family is killed in a car accident. Since that day, she always blames herself but never says she misses them. She starts wearing dark hoodies and hiding her beauty to punish herself. And I'm sitting by the barbecue, ready to throw this book into the fire.

Ever always talks about two things: 1)her family being killed; 2)Damen, and how she totally doesn't like him.

Yeah, right.

Ever is being all moe around him, kissing him randomly and shit, and all she says 'I can't see his aura! How can it be if he's not dead?'

Didn't you think for even a moment that he's actually a zombie? It's the fucking prequel to Warm Bodies with a psychic girl included!

And psychic my ass! Seeing auras and ghost is just a little excuse to make her a 'special snowflake'.

Damen Sparkles:Tell me this book is nothing like Twilight and I'll roll my eyes. In the millionth time since I started reading this book.

Damen was that guy. No, not the swoon worthy one. I mean the guy who is just there for the mystery, when there's nothing amazing about him. yeah, you're a thousand years old. No, it's sooo not pedophilia! Damn it, don't you believe me?

Sidekicks of BoringLand:
Wow, stereotypes do die hard.

Ever's new friends were the biggest stereotypes for a goth and a gay: a girl who is seeking for attention and love and a guy who is a wuss and girly.

Not all goths are attention seekers and not all gays are pussies! It's like saying all Italians love coffee or all French people are erotic and perverted! Even when using stereotypes, can you please give some depth to this characters? I want to enjoy the company of those friends while reading the book, not choke them out of blind rage.

And not only Haven and Miles are the one who annoyed me. Guess who? That's right, the little, annoying brat that goes by the name Riley.

Riley is Ever's little ghost sister, who trolls her sister all the time and acts like a seven years old. She all the time comments about the most stupid things, and if Ever wasn't enough, bam! Family set of characters that are annoying you to death!

Overall:
I couldn't stand this book! I will just pretend I never read it and move on to The Soul Seekers (which I do like, kinda) and Noel's stand alones.

Saturday, 6 July 2013

This book was like the kiddy roller coaster: It went up a little bit, and then went down drastically. And it was done. Just like that.

Juliette lives in an asylum for almost a year until a handsome guy is thrown into her cell. She didn't touch any human being for years because if she touches anyone- she sucks the life out of them. And she couldn't keep her hands to herself.

This review is going to be a major rant with ultra-hulk-size major spoilers with comic-book geek references.

Plot:
There's two parts to this book: one half that is awesome. Second part is a copy-pasta from The Avengers with a lot of make outs and almost a sex scene (or rape).

Mrs. Mafi, what were you thinking while writing the second part of this book? Did you try to mix Hulk with Fifty Shades of Grey? Or The Avengers with a Sophie Kinsella novel?

I found the parts in the asylum, the broken parts of Juliette's mind. But what did I get? A dystopian earth novel with sappy romance and... okay, I will stop saying anything to do with 'super heroes', for now.

Writing:
I don't know why everyone say that the writing is ugly and stupid. Yes, there's moments when she repeats words or phrases. But I think she just tried to bold out Juliette's emotions (by writing an entire copy paste page 'I am not insane.' and dart it all except the last sentence).

But truth is, I liked how she 'deleted' the emotions that the heroine denied. I actually loved the simple description, maybe not a writing that you can see the world with your eyes closed, but good enough to imagine the basics.

Slut of the Week- Juliette:
At first, she was hurt, broken but badass. That was the first part of the book.

But as the book went on and on about her loving Adam, I was just rolling my eyes every-time she somehow mentioned her undying love to him because he has a tattoo. Of a bird. Wow.

Cell Mate- Adam:
I never really had any feeling for this dude. He was so plain and just... he wasn't swoon worthy for me. Actually, I don't even know what he finds in Juliette with their undying love. It's 'Evermore' all over again. Or any YA novel for that matter.

Kidnapper- Warner:
Every time I projected Warner in my mind, I always heard, saw and imagined him like this:

Seriously, he was as possesive, if not more, as the Ice King. Think about it- the Ice King kidnaps princesses to marry them, Warner kidnaps Juliette to be his weapon.

The Ice King gave a promise and crossed his fingers behind his back, Warner did the same.

"Take your time, love." felt like the Ice King was saying it, not a hot blonde guy with blue/green eyes (I never remember the color of guy's eye color all sound the same to me, because it can never be light grey or black with flecks of blue).

And if Warner got blue eyes, he shares them with the Ice King. I can go on and on with the similarities between them and other kidnapers from Nintendo games.

Overall:

I hated how this book turned from a cool asylum dystopian story to Rouge from X-Men meets the Hulk in one body. Bye.

1 STAR

Liked:

-Beginning

-Asylum

-Ruined dystopian world

Disliked:

-Warner

-Adam

-The Slut

-Roamnce

-Geek refrences

This is what happens when you get a recommendation from Lauren Kate ("Fated").