Hopefully this is the last time I have to post about this shit. E! Online says:

Wave the white flag—it’s peace a settlement at last for Mel Gibson & Oksana Grigorieva! The actor and Oscar-winning director and his former girlfriend have officially reached a financial and child custody agreement after a year of torturous debate and supposed domestic abuse. Mel’s spokesman Alan Nierob tells E! News, “I can confirm the parties have settled and we appreciate all the judge’s help.” Los Angeles County Superior Court released a statement Friday reading: “As the result of a multiday settlement conference, the court announces that Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva have achieved a settlement in their ongoing dispute.” However, terms and conditions of the settlement were not announced. Mel and Oksana are due back in court Wednesday to discuss financial arrangements as well as the issue of custody of the ex-couple’s 1-year-old daughter Lucia.

Minka Kelly was dating Derek Jeter for three years before they announced their split this week. This means one of two things. People reports:

While female Yankee fans are buzzing about Derek Jeter’s new single status, sources on the set of Charlie’s Angels in Miami are talking about a growing late-night friendship between his ex Minka Kelly and her costar Ramon Rodriguez. “We have seen Minka and Ramon talking in his trailer way after hours, and often late into the night,” a source on the set tells PEOPLE. “They have been together long after they need to be for the show.” Another source isn’t so quick to couple them up: “They’re just friends. Ramon is basically the only guy on set so of course they all hang out with him.” Kelly, 31, had been dating Jeter, 37, for the past three years with annual talk about an impending lavish wedding. It wasn’t meant to be however, with the couple announcing their split Thursday, and a source telling PEOPLE they still “care about each other and … are still friends.” Puerto Rican-born Rodriguez, also 31, who is best known for his TV roles in The Wire and Day Break, plays John Bosley on ABC’s Charlie’s Angels reboot – a much younger version than fans are used to. A rep for Rodriguez didn’t immediately comment. An ABC rep declined to comment.

Listen, I have a well-documented weakness for Latin men, but uh, not ones that look like George Michael if he didn’t have car insurance. I’m going out on a limb and saying this is a brilliant publicity stunt for Charlie’s Angels, because Minka Kelly was banging Derek Jeter. Derek. Jeter. As in, one of the world’s most recognizable and richest athletes, for three years. If this isn’t a publicity stunt, I’m going out on a limb and saying Minka Kelly might want to get her chromosomes counted.

Minka Kelly was dating Derek Jeter for three years before they announced their split this week. This means one of two things. People reports: While female Yankee fans are buzzing…

Brad Pitt isn’t just a good-looking movie star: he’s also an everyday hero! The 47-year-old father of six was filming a scene for his new movie World War Z in Glasgow, Scotland Thursday when one of 700 extras stumbled to the ground and was nearly trampled. Without hesitating, Pitt scooped the woman up and brought her back to her feet. “Lots of people hurt themselves and Brad came to the rescue of one woman who slipped,” a set source told The Scottish Sun. “I don’t think she could believe it when Brad picked her up.” “He didn’t have time to speak to her as it was mid-shoot. But she said afterwards how grateful she was, despite having a badly grazed knee.”

Jennifer Aniston’s been dating Justin Theroux since March. Now they’re moving in together. The New York Daily News reports:

Fresh off their romantic Hawaiian vacation and globetrotting trips to meet each other’s families, the couple is reportedly renting a love nest in Hollywood. They’re currently renting a two-bedroom house, but could buy the property for $3 million, according to X17. It reportedly boasts a pool and a hidden garden outside as well as an interior with hardwood floors, vaulted ceilings and a garage that’s been converted into a family room. If it sounds cozy and romantic, it is. An Aniston insider tells Us Weekly, “One bedroom is the master and the other is currently furnished as a guest room. It is a really romantic house with great views and a warm feeling in every room.” With Aniston’s recent habit of picking up pricey real estate, perhaps buying the bungalow isn’t a far-fetched idea. In April, she reportedly sunk millions into two West Village apartments that she plans to combine into one gargantuan Manhattan pad. According to a friend of Theroux’s, perhaps the couple is building a set of nests in which to start a family. “He’d make an excellent father,” the source told Us. “Since he’s a screenwriter, he could work from home and take care of a kid.”

I tried to work in a joke about 3,000 hits, but it’s too early or whatever excuse that means I’m too lazy. People reports:

After dating for three years, Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter have broken up, her rep confirms to PEOPLE.”They care about each other and it was amicable,” says a source. “They’re still friends.”

I wanted to speculate why they broke up, but I’m a little tired because I just had sex with her in my mind. See? I’m doing it right now. Awww yeah, you like that? You like that don’t you, baby? Oh, don’t worry. My mom doesn’t come down here. I’m a grown ass man. I pay rent. That’s right, now just stick your ass up like th..oh, oh, uuhhhhh ooohhh. Sorry about that. Give me like, what? Five minutes?

I tried to work in a joke about 3,000 hits, but it’s too early or whatever excuse that means I’m too lazy. People reports: After dating for three years, Minka…

When the four hour primetime special of Kim Kardashian‘s wedding airs on E!, there will be a touching scene between Kourtney Kardashian and her longtime boyfriend Scott Dipshit where they decide to get married. Or as the producer who scripted the scene said, “‘Ok fine, you know, we’ll get married’ or something.” Mail Online reports:

The reality crew discuss filming a scene, portraying 32-year-old Kourtney caught up in the moment of the special day and talking about the idea of marriage with Scott, 28, with whom she has a toddler son, Mason. A female producer can be heard saying: ‘Hey we need to do a thing of Kourtney and Scott, I feel like “love is in the air” and they talk about “Ok fine, you know, we’ll get married” or something.’ A male voice then responds: ‘Ok cool,’ before the team try to track down the pair to shoot the scene. In another segment of the audio, a male producer says: ‘Bernard, I’m going to shoot this little thing with Kourtney and Scott right now.’ Then towards the end of the recording, the female producer thanks the crew for filming it and signs off: ‘We’ll see you at Kourtney’s wedding… and… [inaudible] everyone’s laughing.’ The feeling of the event being staged by TV producers was not lost on guests at the California wedding. One attendee told Us Weekly: ‘Everybody felt awkward, like it was all for the cameras and more like a TV show than a wedding.’

If you honestly think any of what you see on Keeping Up With The Kardashians is real, then well, I really don’t know what to tell you. I’m not even entirely sure at this point if Bruce Jenner isn’t a hologram.

When the four hour primetime special of Kim Kardashian‘s wedding airs on E!, there will be a touching scene between Kourtney Kardashian and her longtime boyfriend Scott Dipshit where they…

Oh, totally. I could definitely see that happening. Us Magazine reports:

In an interview with PopJustice.com, the 29-year-old mother of two opens up about the career choices she might’ve made if she hadn’t reached international stardom at a young age. “I’d probably be a teacher,” she tells the site. “I love kids, and even in what I do now one of my favorite parts of my day is getting to meet my fans before the show. Especially the little ones. They are always so cute.” “I’d specialize in reading and history,” she says, adding that her favorite historical period is the 1920s. Her sons Sean Preston, 5, and Jayden, 4, are her top priority.“I’m very strong in the way I raise my kids and stuff,” she says. “So [even if I weren’t famous] it would probably be pretty much the same.” If either of her sons ever wants to pursue a career in the industry, she’ll let them follow in her footsteps. “I’d definitely keep an eye on them, but if that’s what they wanted to do then I’d let them go after it,” she says. “I’d just be very protective.”

As you read this, please keep in mind that at the age of 29, Britney Spears is still under a court ordered (and extended by her psychiatrists) conservatorship. And if you don’t know what that means, it means that a judge ruled her too stupid to live so her father has to assemble a team to make sure Britney doesn’t walk into traffic or try to swing on a downed power line. But in Britney’s defense, she really does love her kids and it shows. You know, like the time she got high and took them hostage then had a standoff with the police. Or the meticulous care she took when they were newborns. Or the even better care she took of them when they were older, by placing them on a strict and healthy diet. Or the time she fucked her bodyguard while her two kids were in a hotel suite with her then beat Preston with a belt. Or the time she willingly gave up the fight to have custody of her kids just so she could go on tour. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that Britney Spears shouldn’t be allowed around a picture of a school much less an actual school.

Oh, totally. I could definitely see that happening. Us Magazine reports: In an interview with PopJustice.com, the 29-year-old mother of two opens up about the career choices she might’ve made…

Katy Perry was out buying Cheetos in Los Angeles yesterday, because when George Lucas’ effects team is your stylist, it’s really no surprise that you look like this first thing in the morning or whenever you go out in public. “What’s up with this chick? At least somebody brushed my hair and put makeup on me,” a person lying in a coffin at a funeral home was quoted as saying.

Katy Perry was out buying Cheetos in Los Angeles yesterday, because when George Lucas’ effects team is your stylist, it’s really no surprise that you look like this first thing…