By Paul E. Schindler Jr.

Some things are impossible to know, but it is impossible to know these things.

I no longer have a day job. I'm retired! So every word of this is my opinion, This offer IS void in Wisconsin. Except, of course, that some material in this column comes from incoming e-mail; such material is usually reproduced indented and in a serif typeface to distinguish it from the (somewhat) original material.

Writing Quirks: The Long Windup or Overwrought Lede

During this week’s Slate Culture Gabfest podcast, Dana Stevens, a regular returning from book leave, noted her writing problems: the things she does that she notices when editors point them out. One of them she mentioned was “long windups.” It brought back memories; I, too, suffer from that writing fault.

In journalism, the first paragraph of a story is known as the lede, so spelled to distinguish it from lead, the metal used to make type. The coinage always irritated me, since I cannot imagine a sentence in which you could mistake one for the other. “I don’t like the lead on this story.” Could that possibly refer to the type in the pressroom? “This linotype machine isn’t working because the lead is too cold.” Is there any universe in which the first paragraph of a story could affect the operation of a typesetting machine (linotype machines were the devices used to set type for newspapers before computers. Each had a pot of molten lead. Did you think I meant “molten first paragraphs of stories”?)

Anyway, I was thrust into the past by the comment because I, too, had a problem with long wind-ups, AKA overwrought lead paragraphs. In the days when stories were typed on paper, I would often burn through one or two dozen sheets trying to get the first paragraph right. I rarely had trouble after that.

Newspaper stories are organized in an “inverted pyramid” which means the first paragraph should contain sufficient information that you could know what the story was about just from reading it. The most important information comes first, followed by successively less important information. This organizational form was required in the days of nearly illiterate press operators, who had to cut stories without the aid of editors at the last minute. In an inverted pyramid, you never ran the risk of losing important information.

The lede in a newspaper theoretically included who, what, when and where and why (The 5 Ws). Most of mine did.

Magazine ledes, on the other hand, are different, as I discovered in 1986. Magazine articles are, for the most part, not organized as inverted pyramids. The lede is usually a scene setter, and almost never deals with the five Ws. It can be a quote or an anecdote. The 5 Ws are generally dealt with a few paragraphs later, in what is known as the “nut graf.” (Yes, journalists also have another spelling for paragraph) Important information should be spread evenly throughout the article.

In fact, many magazine articles end, not with the least important information, but with a “kicker,” which is often the best quotation of the story. Alternatively, magazine articles can also end with “only the future will tell,” which offers questions or predictions about the future.

In a way, nearly everything I have written to this point in this blog entry could be considered an “overwrought lede” for the small story I wish to tell on myself. I chose to consider it context.

In 1992, I went to work for Windows Magazine, where my editor was Mike Elgan. After we had worked together for a year or so, he told me one day, “In every story you turn in, you take several paragraphs to clear your throat before you actually begin telling us something.” He told me he had considered writing a Microsoft Word macro that stripped the first three paragraphs from every story I turned in, to save him the trouble. I tried, with limited success, to change my habit of long windups, overwrought ledes and throat-clearing, but, as you can see, I have it still. What some people call a fault, I prefer to think of as a style.

Recent Movies

Paul's Reading

Ann Patchett: This Is the Story of a Happy MarriageDavid Sedaris liked this book so much her arranged for Moe's Books of Berkeley to sell it in the lobby after his reading at Zellernbach Hall last year. I can see why; Pratchett is an interesting and able essayist. I haven't read her fiction, but if it is as good as her essays, it is good indeed. As a recently bereaved cat owner, I couldn't read her essay on the death of her dog, but all the others were fine. (*****)

Nora Ephron: The Most of Nora EphronI have always been a big fan of Nora Ephron, so I was enraptured with this omnibus, which includes her novel, her Harry met Sally screenplay and many of her essays, some of them previously uncorrected. They say you should never meet the authors you love, but I think I'd have enjoyed her, even if she was telling me to "get over it." (*****)

Edward St. Aubyn: Lost for Words: A NovelI heard the author on "Fresh Air" being interviewed by Terry Gross, and I am glad I did. I don't think I'd enjoy the Patrick Melrose books for which he is famous (based on the descriptions, I don't care to read them) but this relentlessly amusing sendup of the literary prize culture in Britain has laughs on every page, delivered with standard British panache. (*****)

Terry Pratchett's Discworld Books: Terry Pratchett has written 40 books about Discworld. I have read just over half of them, most recently Equal Rites. Everyone of them is hysterically funny and also makes a few comments about the world around us. His 2000 novel "The Truth" is one of the best journalism books ever written. He is a genius. (*****)

Dave Eggers: The Circle (Vintage)Finally, a novel of Silicon Valley with some literary merit. I have looked at the book club discussion questions, which make it clear to me that there's a whole lot going on I didn't get. But the parts I did get were a fascinating exploration of where we're going. As I used to teach students, "Science Fiction is not about what it is about, it is about the time in which it was written." True here. Marvelous and gripping. (*****)

Bob Garfield: BedfellowsCo-host of NPR's "On the Media" and Slate's "Lexicon Valley," Bob Garfield is a quick-witted, sharp-tongued commentator. This novel of the modern mafia in fictional Brooklyn is humorous and amusing (albeit not really laugh-out-loud funny), with a clever yet somehow contrived plot. Lots of swearing, not too much violence. I have read several books on my Sony E-reader; this is the first book I read on the Kindle I-phone ap. Weird experience. If you'd told me I'd ever read a book on my phone... (****)

Maria Semple: Where'd You Go, Bernadette: A NovelAnother case where "everybody" was right. All my print and electronic media sources pointed to this as a brilliant comic novel. Clearly, my analytical skills are deficient when it comes to print, because I can only repeat what I have written about several other books here: couldn't put it down. A mother-daughter tale, told mostly through documents and emails, and a delightfully barbed skewering of Seattle, one of America's most obvious and under-skewered targets. (*****)

Lionel Shriver: The New Republic: A NovelI am always on the outlook for the next "best journalism novel ever." For decades, Evelyn Waugh's Scoop was the gold standard, and it is still the funniest of the small handful of iconic novels that tell the truth about the life of journalists, particularly foreign correspondents. This, however, is a clever, well-written page turner that shows journos living the life I knew them to live when I was one decades ago. Plot contrivances? Sure. It was written before 9/11 and released this year, and if you didn't know you might guess. But just as Waugh's work caught the essence of the working journalist of his time, so too does this first rate novel. It deserves a place in the pantheon of "best journalism novels ever. (*****)

Danny Rubin: How To Write Groundhog DayRegular readers know I am a sucker for all things groundhog. Still, above and beyond my fan-boy inclinations, this is a great book by a talented author, which provides insight into both the movie and the process of writing it. I literally couldn't put it down. I wrote my second-ever Amazon review to praise it. Run, don't walk to buy a copy. (*****)