I don’t even know which angle to take on this one. My initial thought on this breaking news was the fact that I’m 6 years younger than Antonio Gates and can’t even comfortably get out of bed in the morning despite not being an NFL tight end. That’s both depressing and impressive. It’s impressive that I can get so sore by being a lethargic blogger and equally impressive that someone that old can still strap it up at such a physical position a weekly basis. Continue reading →

Mac and Whitty have a lot of similar interests. One thing they almost universally agree on is what makes a uniform good or bad. In the spirit of the NFL Divisional Round Weekend, they decided to power rank the NFL uniforms. Each genius made their list, 32 being the worst, 1 the best. In the event of two teams’ rankings average being a tie, the city with the lowest elevation got the nod, because low man always wins. Here we go…

8. Los Angeles Chargers (Mac: 10, Whitty: 7)

Embed from Getty ImagesMac: I like the Chargers uniforms for the same reason I like the Vikings uniforms while hating the Bengals’ look. They incorporate the lightning bolt perfectly without going overkill. The switch to white helmet was fine by me, but I didn’t hate the dark blue look either. Everyone always calls for the powder blue to be the primary home uniform, but I’m ok with it being an alternate. Too much of a good thing can ruin it.

Whitty: The Chargers are another team that does a great job of incorporating unique uniform aspects into their jersey that are actually relevant to the team. The lightning bolts for stripes look good, and I love the powder blue alternates. My one complaint is that the pants stripe is curved, which seems unnecessary even if it is a lightning bolt.

7. Green Bay Packers (Mac: 3, Whitty: 11)

Embed from Getty ImagesMac: Green and yellow isn’t a combination that you would typically look at and say “wow, that really works” but for some for some reason it does in Green Bay’s case. I love the number font with no drop shadow or outline and the stripes in the neck collar remaining a staple while we’ve seen other teams go with a solid color on the new Nike template.

Whitty: The Packers have a great uniform design, and there isn’t anything particularly wrong with it. The only reason I don’t have the higher is that I don’t love the green and yellow color combination. Even in spite of that, I still think it’s a great look and a classic NFL uniform.

6. San Francisco 49ers (Mac: 9, Whitty: 4)

Embed from Getty ImagesMac: Much like the Detroit Lions, I’m glad they ditched the black trim. It was unnecessary and they will always look better with the classic combination of gold and red. Their helmet logo still has the black trim, but that’s something they’ve always had so I can live with it.

Whitty: When the 49ers went back to their more traditional look it was a huge improvement. When they had the black trim and the 3D drop shadow on the numbers they just didn’t feel like the 49ers. Their current uniform set is one of the best in the league. I love the red and gold combination. I don’t quite understand the all black choice for the Color Rush uniforms, but I’m not going to take points away from anyone for their color rush jerseys, which are almost universally terrible.

5. Indianapolis Colts (Mac: 5, Whitty: 6)

Embed from Getty ImagesMac: The Indianapolis Colts are perfectly simple. The two shoulder stripes and helmet with a single stripe and horseshoes make me wish I was a Colts fan. I love the look, the crisp blue bouncing off the clean white… man, what a beautiful picture.

Whitty: The Colts manage to take a monochromatic uniform and make it look great. It’s not easy to do, and you run the risk of being boring, but I think the Colts manage to avoid that. Some would disagree with me there, but they’re probably the same people that think the Seahawks and Buccaneers uniforms look badass so they really have no credibility here.

4. Kansas City Chiefs (Mac: 7, Whitty: 3)

Embed from Getty ImagesMac: The Chiefs have a classic look that will never go out of style. Just seeing these uniforms puts me right in the scene of a frigid game where Andy Reid is misusing timeouts. Bonus points for making all of the players wear the Chiefs turtleneck for team photos.

Whitty: I’m going to start to sound like a broken record here, but I love the simple classic look the Chiefs have. The red and yellow look great and they don’t have any gimmicky stripes or patterns that take away from the uniform. My one request is that they never wear the red pants with the red jerseys. These jerseys quickly got from one of the best to one of the worst in a hurry when you throw in the red on red.

3. Buffalo Bills (Mac: 2, Whitty: 8)

Embed from Getty ImagesMac: Red, white and blue, the way it should be done. I don’t know if it’s because of the contrast of the way the Patriots and Texans do it, but the Bills’ take on red, white and blue uniforms really does it for me. The red and blue always look so bright and crisp. It was a great change from their 2000s look where they had two different shades of blue and a solid red helmet. I didn’t hate the red helmet, but I’m a much bigger fan of the white helmet with thick blue-red-blue stripe down the middle.

Whitty: The Bills went from being a laughingstock to having one of the best uniforms in the game. And in addition to looking respectable, their play on the field is almost respectable as well. But they’re going to have to get past the first round of the playoffs before anyone really takes them seriously as a team. The one reason I don’t have them higher on my list was because of their helmet stripe. It’s thicker in the back than it is in the front, which I really don’t get. Otherwise this is an almost perfect uniform.

2. Chicago Bears (Mac: 4, Whitty: 1)

Embed from Getty ImagesMac: The Bears, another team using one of my favorite color combinations of blue and orange, hit a homerun with their uniforms. It’s a strong, classic look that will never go out of style. It’s plain, but has enough detail to always make you appreciate the little things (i.e. the sock stripes matching the sleeve stripes).

Whitty: This got tough for me. I had 4 or 5 different teams at the top of my list at one point or another. I finally settled on the Bears as my favorite though. The blue and orange combination looks great. All of the stripes on the sleeves, pants and helmets are uniform and don’t taper off or run in different directions. It’s amazing how simple it is to create a timeless, classic uniform style. And yet so many teams fail miserably because they try and get too fancy or they let a 12 year old kid pick the design (which is what I assume some teams do based on their look). Hell, I like the Bears uniforms so much, I’m not even gonna take away points for them blatantly ripping off the wishbone C logo from the Reds.

1. Oakland Raiders (Mac: 1, Whitty: 2)

Embed from Getty ImagesMac: If someone asked me to describe the perfect football uniform, I’d point them directly to a Google search of “Oakland Raiders uniform”. Whether they’re wearing their white or black jerseys, it’s the perfect look. The color combination of black and silver allows them to be intimidating while keeping it simple. I’m a much bigger fan of the away white uniforms, but watching Oakland play under the lights in the black uniform gets my engine going too. I just hope the look stays the same with the move to Las Vegas. They need to avoid all temptations to incorporate a Vegas feel to the jerseys.

Whitty: The Raaaaaiiideeerrrrsssss</Chris Berman Voice>. Another incredibly simple design that works great. The black and silver looks clean and tough all at the same time. Maybe take a page out of The Black Hole’s book and add some spikes to the shoulder pads. Otherwise I’d say these are perfect.