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Friday, August 24, 2012

Last week’s challenge was to design for a woman on the go at work. Elena acted like a raving lunatic, Gunnar acted like a snippy biatch, and Raul acted like a ruffled bib was haute couture (he was so wrong). Melissa won and Raul was sent home (again).

This week’s episode opens, as usual, with yawns and coffee at the Atlas Apartments.

Then it’s off to the runway, where Heidi announces that the designers will be getting “new clients”. Then a bunch of random people walk out onto the runway. OMG – these are not models!!! Whatever will the designers do?!?

It turns out that these people are just the friends of some slobs in need of a serious transformation. Heidi tells everyone to meet Tim in the workroom, where they will meet the friends and these mysterious slovenly ragamuffins.

Tim greets everyone in the workroom, where he is joined by L’Oreal Paris hair cutie Johnny Lavoy (which HAS to be a made up name – his real name is probably “Juan Sanchez” or something). Anywhore, this will also be a hair challenge, which means that Mr. Sanchez Lavoy will be selling L’Oreal hair care products throughout the episode. Because you’re worth it.

The designers meet their clients and their clients’ friends. Sonjia’s client hates shopping, Elena’s client is smiling and bubbly (the exact opposite of Elena), Nathan’s client is an R&B singer who wants to be “sexy with swag” (the exact opposite of Nathan), and Fabio’s client doesn’t want to be “sexualized” because it makes her feel weak. So she normally dresses like a lumberjack – which makes her feel strong (?).

Then we get to Ven. Ven’s client Terri is a T-shirt-and-jeans gal who’s a little on the large side. But Robot Ven busts a gasket over how big she is – saying he is “extremely disappointed” and complains about her waistline and hipline. In reality, Terri is just a regular gal (and is smaller than Ven, thankyouverymuch), but Ven acted like he was dressing this…

Ven didn’t really talk to his client much or ask about her story – he immediately panicked about how big she was and just couldn’t get past it the entire episode. Hell, even GUNNAR had a good attitude this challenge, saying that he’s used to making clothes for real women. He even hugged and comforted his client when she started crying. Gunnar should have snuck over and given poor Terri some hugs – she definitely could have used them.

Then it’s off to Mood, where Fabio is contemplating “shades of gray” for his design. Let’s hope it’s not 50 shades of gray, or his client will DEFINITELY be sexualized. A lot.

Back to the workroom, where poor Nathan is out of his element. The last time he designed clothing for a musician he did so for his mother – who was performing classical music. I’m almost certain his mother didn’t ask for a form-fitting satin dress with cut outs.

Commercial Break: The Week The Women Went. Day 3 – The men struggle to throw a beauty pageant, so help is brought in. “Hey Cleetus, I think those fellers are them there HOMERSEXTICALS!”

Workroom: Ven keeps complaining about how unfair it is that he got the largest gal and others got skinny gals. Please STFU now. Gunnar – showing his softer side – misses his family. And Fabio gets to video chat with his cat. Meow.

Tim Gunn visits, and things go as usual until he gets to Ven. Ven UNLOADS about how he’s never worked with a plus size girl before and how she’s “Oh my God, she’s like a 14!” and “doesn’t have a shape” or a “sense of style”. Ven literally calls her a “nightmare” and I’m pleading with my TV screen to try and convince Tim to slap the stank outta him (unfortunately that never happens). Ven even complains about her AGE – 40. Tim basically tells Ven that his client is not old, she’s not a nightmare, and that Ven needs to make it work, asshole. In so many words.

The clients come in with their new hairdos for fittings. As you can imagine, everything goes ok for most of the designers, except Ven … “Black is very slimming” … “You have a nice face” – which is international code for “You’re fat” … he also gives her belts to try on (they don’t fit). Everyone in the workroom is cringing at how Ven is treating this poor woman.

Day #1 ends and back at the Atlas Apartments Ven is still complaining about large silhouettes. OMG STFU!

Runway day begins with the clients getting into hair and makeup and getting into their garments. Poor Terri starts to cry when Ven won’t stop mentioning the belts that don’t fit her.

Ven: “I can see it in her face that she’s not happy”. What, do you mean those streams of water coming out of her eyes?!? Those are called “TEARS”, you fat bald robot with no feelings.

Then it’s off to the runway, where the friends and the designers are in the audience. Heidi introduces the judges: Michael Kors, Nina Friggin Garcia, and some English lady.

The clients walk and judges gawk. Most of the clients are beaming from ear to ear. One, in particular, is not. I’ll give you 10 guesses…

Results: Melissa, Chris, Alicia and Elena are safe.

Dmitry, Fabio and Gunnar are on top and Ven, Sonjia and Nathan are on the bottom. Fabio, btw, is wearing his best dumpster dress today.

I would pay ACTUAL MONEY to see Tim Gunn slap Ven. Or anyone, really. I will, however, remain just as happy with the verbal scolding he utilizes instead. I just got onto the night shift at my job at Dish, so I never get to watch this show live anymore with the rest of the Internet. It’s definitely a bummer, but I haven’t had to worry about it since I got my Hopper. I can always count on my shows being recorded and waiting for me to watch as soon as I get home. I’m really hoping to see Ven get shown the door sooner than later, but I have a feeling I’m going to be disappointed.

as a 'plus sized woman' i think we need to round up a group of gals and go find this ven person and slap the shit out of him. we could make a big shit slapping circle of trust. i deserve the right to look cute at work just like people of smaller stature than me, and i have a really hard time finding clothes that fit me right (which is why i learned to sew a little bit so i could tailor my stuff better). double digit sized does not equate to wanting to look like one buys all their clothes at walmart!

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