Teen Choice Awards air on FOX in a matter of hours, but they were pretaped last night. Crapload of “heartthrobs” there last night, but lets focus in on the only ones I give 2 sh*ts about.

1. Hello Cory Monteith. Nice job hosting, I guess. I haven’t actually seen it yet, but you’d do a good job just standing there saying nothing.

2. Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. I’m assuming that New Moon sweeped and these 2 took all the hottie awards. I don’t even have to look it up. When I see them sitting next to each other like this I can’t help but picture them starting to wrestle each other. All sweaty and sh*t. Nice.

Oh, and Ashley Greene was there. I’m surprised that she didn’t show up in something that exposed more tits. She’s a fan of the nakedness, and flaunting it in public. Kinda like Katy Perry. She does it in places filled with children (see Nick awards post). Well, her dress is flesh coloured, giving the illusion of nakedness, so she did try just a bit. Oh Ashley, you never fail to skank it up.