About Me

I'm a stay at home Mom of two children and I have the unique privilege of being able to homeschool both of them. I am a stepmother to two older daughters one who is going to college. I enjoy shopping, baking, cooking, cleaning, organizing, running, clowning, making soap, playing piano and lately painting with ASCP paint! I am learning to enjoy the little things in life and make the most of it...clinging to my Savior through the tears that life brings and enjoying his GRACE He gives us every day! Thanks for stopping by!

Monday, August 29, 2011

So, today we started light school....its probably really not that light after I list the subjects that we did...but this is one that I thought that I would tell you all about.

It's called Little Passports....I have not been given anything for this endorsement it is just my humble opinion.

You can sign up for three months, six months or a year. We chose the six months...and so far I have enjoyed it. Anything that gets your kids excited about geography is awesome! Just go to your local school and ask the kids where Greece is...or if we live in South America or North America...and its kinda scary to hear the answers!

So, they send you a little suitcase to put all your stuff in and then each month you get a picture of something from the country your visiting, a sticker for your passport, and a sticker for your suitcase...they also have online games which my older son enjoyed and they were able to do this together...something else I liked. There are also little things from that country for them to experience. Truly, I think its wonderful. Its not super cheap....but when you have two kids getting excited about geography and learning...I get super excited about that!

Here are some pics of the day...we were behind three months due to summer but got to experience all of it today!

They enjoyed it greatly! I liked quizzing T and seeing if he KNEW where it was!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

There are some good things to be said for being sick. Here are a few:
1. Eating soup and getting it on your shirt....and so not caring.
2. Taking a shower and then putting your hair in a baseball cap...and not caring.
3. Giving your kids pizza and letting them watch a movie several times in one week during dinner (normally a serious no no and only reserved for special occasions)
4. Not vacuuming your floors for three days....and really not caring.
5. Being grateful for Alka Seltzer Plus, cough drops and tissues with lotion in them.
6. Looking at the treadmill when your supposed to be training for your 5K and knowing that THIS time I really can let go of the guilt of missing my workouts.

My children have enjoyed this lazy, unproductive week...and there was a lot of reading that I got done also...which of course has caused a lot of reflection....perhaps....that's why I got sick....I needed some reflection...and quiet....and learning to let go....of...perfection...for at least a couple of days.

I've been reading the book "Dancing with My Father" by Sally Clarkson for awhile. Lest you think I'm slow I read about five books at a time...and I really sat on "one thousand gifts" by Ann Voskamp...for like...forever...and really....doesn't everyone? That book....life changing....however....this book really starting tapping on my little shoulder last night.

For the last two years I have been up against a very BIG Goliath....now instead of that Goliath leaving there has come into my life two more....from the opposite direction....causing great turmoil in my heart and in my life. There are so many times I just want to say "If this wasn't in my life.....then..." That's when it hit me last night when I read the words:

"Often it seems we would rather have another life--any life--than our own. Somehow we think if we lived a different life, it would be easier for us to grow in faithfulness and spiritual character. Yet it is in accepting today with all of its issues, in accepting God's will and training grounds that we learn the secret of joy in his presence. It is in being faithful to our own set of tests that we become mature and fitted for the ministry he has called each of us to accomplish. If we aspire to be a general, so to speak, spiritually, then we must first pass the training and tests of life as a private!"

I grow weary as a mother, stepmother, wife, friend, aunt, sister, daughter, teacher, clown....you get it! I want to stand on a rock and YELL at the top of my lungs "Leave me alone!" I want to retreat and go to an island where no one will find me....but I must stay....and fight...and not give up! Even though I want to....I beg for the "thorn" to be removed.....I beg for the "Goliath" to be defeated....but so far....we are still trudging on.

"Although the world if full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it...We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world." Helen Keller

"Consider it all joy...when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance" James 1:2-3

There are days....I hate that verse...and I don't want to smile....but I trudge on...He urges me on....He urges you on!

Yes, I am aware that that title may be confusing to some...after all...why in the world does a home school Mom need to worry about lunches?

This is our third year of homeschooling and as we go I find that I am having to readjust what we do. Homeschooling is about constantly adjusting and knowing what's right for your family. Last year I noticed that it was SOOO difficult to "maintain" that steam after lunch. Most homeschool kids are done for the day by 1:30....not ALL days go like that but for the days that the sun rises and sets the way it should...that's what happens.

However, my E would whine right in the middle of my FAVORITE subject (not kidding...grammar is my fav...followed by a close second to creative writing) my son however does not share this joy (yet) but it would never fail that my E would demand LUNCH right as I was BREAKING through! So....may I present....

Do you hear the angels singing??? Well, for me....I started simple...just simple sandwiches this week...with fruit and veggie...I have chips in sep baggies and their homemade dessert at the ready.

It took me 20 minutes to assemble lunches for our four day school week. When E whines and I'm in the middle of something with Trey. She can have her lunch...while I continue on with Trey. It is also fabulous for when I take T on Tuesdays to our home school coop where he takes four classes. My mother watches E and she can just reach in and grab and not worry about E's corn allergy! Its a serious WIN WIN!

So, this week is our trial run...T is anxious to start math and I'm incorporating a new Bible curriculum for both kids...and then the day after Labor Day its ON!

So, here's a look at what I did...so simple....so hoping it works????

I also got little plastic disposable cups with lids from amazon to store dressing and caramel etc in...this way I also know how much they are using...lots less waste!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Sorry its been so long since I've posted but my hubby has been sick for over a week ad now I have this wonderful coughing, hacking, lovely thing....BUT I can still do SOME things....like decorating my house for fall...and almost done with the prep work for my preschooler....lots of laminating and things for her....oddly I'm ready for my sixth grader...he's actually wanting to start on a couple of subjects EARLY which makes my heart smile!

So, once upon a time I was trying to make hand soap and hit a couple of bumps in the road but then discovered bodywash...since then I've happened upon a few more of you doing the same thing...not accidentally but with positive results so I have decided to do it also. For that lovely post you can click on the link here:

http://jme71-loudsilence.blogspot.com/2011/07/handsoap.html
I have to tell you as we all learn to save money in this economy I am beginning to feel a lot like my parents must have felt. I used to make fun of them...my mother would save slivers of soap, and aluminum foil, ziploc bags and instead of saving things in perfect plastic containers she would put them in things she had...mason jars etc. I believe that our generation will be the "new" generation as far as being the first to go back to that...and WHY NOT? It makes me sick thinking of all the money that I've wasted!!!!

So, here goes! My son loves AXE and was not to thrilled that we were NOT going to be buying the body wash..... so I let him go a sniffing and pick out the bar soap he liked best and he decided that this one was the one he could "live" with:

I will also tell you that these 8 bars of soap were on sale for $4.50! YEPPERS! that's a HUGE savings!

First grate your soap!

THEN put your grated soap into the boiling water....remove from heat... add one tbsp of glycerin....if your soap has glycerin...if not ADD 2 TBSP. Glycerin can be found in the pharmacy aisle of your local yucky Wal-mart....or in the soap making section of your glorious, lovely, clean, friendly and FABULOUS Hobby Lobby (just my humble opinion) sadly I have not been able to find it in my fantastic Target...sniff...sniff.

....then add 8 more cups of warm water...continue stirring for the next couple of hours. I let mine set up all night and this morning it is a lovely texture. Even my husband thought it was a GREAT idea! Now I will store them in HUGE mason jars and save the plastic containers of our old body wash and just refill them....no one HAS to know eh????

Then store in containers the children think are the real thing:) .....and enjoy the SAVINGS!!!!! and avoid the WHINE!!!! now insert your evil laugh here(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) Yeppers! I'm on too much cold medicine!

Meanwhile, I have it in this glorious glass container...which is a GALLON container by the way...do the math...its RIDICULOUS the savings!

Friday, August 19, 2011

I had this big long post...but POOF as soon as I was done with it...POOF! Which is funny since the title of my post is it will be alright...get it? Yeah! I was pretty annoyed myself! Don't you hate it when things get you like that?

So, this week has been a bit annoying! My hubby has been hacking for about a week....I miss my bed...all comfy and quiet. I've been hanging out in the spare bed in my son's room...listening to the guinea pigs squeak and chase each other...listening to my son snoring...oh and E keeps falling out of bed lately. Lost power last night and had hail and all sorts of interesting sounds....dog was freaking out along with T but my E she slept all the way through the night...until....the fall out of bed of course! However, around 2am power was restored....not so for everyone living in my town...so I say that softly....praying that others will be up and running soon.

My heart has been heavy this week...lots of drama going on that you will not find as nearly as interesting....Satan has been busy.

The news, the headlines....depressing....makes me want to run away....read tonight about a mother with seven children...passing away from her beloved children and husband and I think...how are her babies sleeping tonight knowing their mother is in heaven? How is her husband sleeping tonight with all the burden he now has of caring for his children alone and filling the huge gap left by his precious wife? I see all the suffering in our community and our home and I think....God, where are you in all this chaos? Where are you in all this hurt? I have never felt His arms the way I did when I dealt with the grief of losing my first husband....I have never felt Him closer to me than this week when I thought that all was lost...that it was over....that there was no hope...He is and will ALWAYS be ENOUGH and it will be ALRIGHT!

My life verse:

Psalm 46:1 God is my refuge and strength a very present help in times of trouble.

There is more....and I love it!

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdom fall, he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The Lord Almighty is with us, the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come and see what the Lord has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire. He says, 'Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Grate 2 bars of soap up and put in food processor with oxy clean and Tide.

Mix up well and put in container!

Use 1-2 tablespoons

*Note---I do not have a food processor so I used my blender...sadly...the blender lost its life in the process....so I used another machine...which ended badly but did NOT have a fatality....I suggest having a mega strong blender or using a food processor like the directions say....all in all....it was accomplished but I don't think mine is as fine as it should be:(

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Endurance---its a word I don't like....For those of you who things come easy to you might not really understand this word....for the rest of us...you get it. In highschool and college I worked hard for every little bitty thing I got. I wasn't prettiest, smartest or anything est....I was just ME! I did work hard...with everything I did and I finished and finished to the best of my ability.

As far as physically challenged I was not necessarily a "sports girl" I was a cheerleader and probably according to the standards set today not a very good one. Nevertheless I could do the splits, a couple of jumps and some pyramids without looking to foolish and despite a few lapses of memory did o.k. on floor cheers. My point being....I was sore....but still nothing truly taxing....

So, here are some photos of my good ol college days...YEP! They are scary!

Can you pick me out? I'm the one on the far left in each picture...yeah...those are really GREAT skirts eh?

AHHH! College days...where my physical training consisted of running running running around the dorms at night because I LOVED to run and see how many times I could pass the girls just out there walking and talking! Eating whatever I wanted! It was lovely!

Now, I'm training for a 5K and my body is giving me fits! My knees kill me...I have ice packs, ibuprofen, pain like I have never felt...taking glucosamine and doing stretches that I never had to do before...I mean...seriously training! After I'm done for the day...I feel so amazing...like I can conquer anything...even though in the midst of it I really think I'm going to die...praying to God to help me not die of a heart attack in front of my children or pass out on the track...always making it through...stronger after enduring it.

Right now I'm having a personal struggle....I am wondering if I'm going to make it...I'm praying to finish the race strong....but I'm wondering if I can finish....I'm praying Satan will not win!

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.

Right now....my personal life is completely parallel with my physical training...and I'm aware to those fitness gurus that my little 5K is nothing....but to ME it is a very BIG deal!

Monday, August 15, 2011

So, some of you are starting school tomorrow...I know my stepdaughters are...and they are NOT very happy about it....we are starting...the day after labor day...if it makes you feel better we don't take half days...since that seems to be something that the local public school does here quite regularly!

ANYWAY, this week is supposed to rain all week and with the heat that we have been having I can't say I'm sad...makes me want to clean, and bake and light candles...unfortunately my hubby came home today sick...so you all know what that means I'll be doing....pray he feels better VERY SOON!

ANYWAY, we made this about two weeks ago but due to the insanity of our schedule I'm just now getting around to posting it!

It is the weirdest thing I have ever made....its not like playdoh...you can't save it...so don't try...will just make you sad!

Seriously, some great fun! Perfect for a week of rain...YEAH!

THEN, I saw this idea and they were only .99 on amazon....I probably didn't give these enough time....apparently my farm fresh eggs aren't the perfect size for these...the instructions are written in chinese...and I just don't know how to read that...so I had to follow along with the pics....if anyone has a better idea on how to do this please let me know asap. I'm just saying....I'm not sure I did it right!

First thing I did was boil the eggs like normal, peel and then put in these cute little cases and put in the pot of boiling water for a few minutes....and the one with the fish I could never get to work right but the car one turned out and E really enjoyed eating her hard boiled cute car egg!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I'm amazed at how that each day at being a parent...you still completely doubt yourself. I have officially been a parent for a little over 11 years. In those years I have dealt with dealing with two children that are big for their ages, listening to people tell me what I did wrong with both of my children, deal with allergies of various degrees, deal with asthma,my personal favorite...the constant throwing up as we would drive ANYWHERE all over my NEW CAR...thank you Mr. T! Not being able to breastfeed either one of my children past six months and hearing everyone tell me how many problems my children would have because of it...to which I said "Thanks so much....I was already feeling low...thanks for pushing me to DEPRESSED!"

We as Mom's know when there is a problem with our children....for about two years now I have noticed my T with a problem with his vision. He turns his head so that his left eye is facing forward and his right eye is to the side. I took him to the optometrist...they noticed no problems with his vision....I took him to the chiropracter...he noticed problems with his neck and shoulder and gave exercises to strengthen it....BUT still we would go back. I still kept bugging and pestering....to which everyone agreed that he had just made it a habit for so long that he would just have to "un-habit" it...oh SWELL! However, I just KNEW there had to be more.

I made our yearly eye doctor appointment...informed her that it was worse not better...and basically just sat there and PRAYED through the whole exam...I mean seriously..."Please Lord, give her wisdom, help her to see what he needs, I know something is wrong!" and He answered!

She said that she believes he should have been left handed...which I recall when he was young he would do things with both hands...when I put him in preschool they just naturally pushed him to use his right hand! NOW I'm totally so upset with myself....but I remember that he would write with both his right and his left and they were the same.....I did notice that he shoots with his left...ANYWAY, she said that his left eye is not working with his right eye and his brain is a bit confused...so my understanding is that we are basically programming his eyes to work together and basically "tricking" his brain. One lens is thicker to help this problem.

It now makes sense to me about sports....basketball he does really well at...soccer though seems to be difficult for him. So, I'm of course blaming myself...wishing I would have pushed harder longer ago...wondering what I can do for him now to help him....praying...thankful that we found something to help....but trying very hard NOT to feel guilty!

I have to say though that I think he looks quite distinguished and quite grown up which is making me quite sad!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Does something ever bother you and you let it fester and fester because you realize what a whiner you will sound like if you say it out loud. Then an opportunity presents itself and you are able to share it without sounding like a whiner and you feel sooooo GOOD that you did!

I confess....I'm lonely....I long for friendships....I long to sit with an iced tea and hear and discuss issues that not just affect me but my friends as well. I was in need of some serious "girl talk".

The past three weeks have been brutal and I mean BRUTAL! A lot going on in my personal life, my son gone to church camp and then a Scouts trip, the anniversary of my first husbands death, the drama of a blended family...and I have come up EMPTY! I was on E and ready to just completely putter out! I was sitting in church listening to praise music and honestly just hurting...just sitting there exhausted...I didn't sing...I couldn't...I didn't feel it...and that's ok...its better in my opinion to sit and just "be" and not worry what others may think that look at you...because today...I didn't have that in me either...I just didn't care what people thought of me...I was sad and hurt...then...an amazing thing happened...truly...something so small...yet...made a huge difference seriously HUGE!

As many of you know a dear lady and friend that goes to my church loves to run...and another dear friend is as crazy as her and loves to run and the two of them together came up with the idea of a 5K race for our church and whoever else wants to be involved in it. I have been wanting to run again and lacked the motivation....and found it hard to take the time to do something for myself...I felt selfish in designating time for just me...but it has been a wonderful experience. Even though I'm only up to 2 miles and come sputtering in at 30 min....I still have accomplished my workouts and not given up. It also means the world to me that there are others...encouraging me on....so I continue. Today, I had some friends ask me specifically how I was doing and did I accomplish my goal and would I like to run with them sometime....to many of you this may sound small....but to me it was huge....I had friends...people that wanted to really and genuinely know how I was doing in my quest for the 5K. Now, lest you think I have no friends...that's not true....I do. I walk through the halls of our church and I pretty much know all the faces approaching me...I think I'm a nice enough person (I hope so) and I find that people confide in me about certain things....BUT sometimes I get lonely...as a homeschool Mom who is alone with her children most of the time...I crave companionship....and with this new run I believe that I'm able to discuss something that doesn't start with "How are the kids? and end with what curriculum do you use?" Those aren't bad things....but this has been a great change.

I'm excited about this race and I'm excited about the friendships being made. It made me realize....if I am being shown love by other Christians then in turn I'm able to give that love to others that are hurting and draw them in to our fold.

As a church member I can say...we are better together....and I also realize how that the smallest comment can seem like the biggest compliment to someone else that will absolutely make their day.

I'm very glad that my dear friends started this Bible study called Run For God....I truly don't think she realized all the benefits that would come with it....I know I didn't.

We live in a crazy, lost, sad, depressed world with heavy burdens that we carry....church should be our sanctuary where we feel supported and feel refreshed after we leave to be able to go out into the world and be a light that shines to a hurting world. If we are NOT getting rejuvenated at church then our light begins to fade...I know that mine was. So, those of you that have an "idea" that might sound far fetched???? Go for it...I'm certainly glad that my dear friends did!

Now in turn I'm able to minister in the unique way that I minister.....

When we use the talents given to us...we can do mighty things...and in turn encourage others....to also use their talents!

Friday, August 5, 2011

My son T goes to Joplin with Scouts to help set up the school there...I worry..I pray...I worry....I pray.

August 5th...9 years.....Oh how I hate this day...trying to count the gifts given...

296. T re-dedicated his life at church camp
297. Cooking and cleaning today...yes...I enjoy it
298. Making homemade detergent, handsoap, fabric softner
299. T-excited over his new soccer cleats....that are two small...how did that happen?
300. T-back home...even though its just for a little while
301. E watching a movie with brother---relaxing she has missed him so
302. Children that like one another
303. Krispy Kreme doughnuts...and yes....I'm having one right now!!!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

This week has been hard...harder than I thought it should be...nine years should be long enough...I should be past this...but this year...my boy grew tall...he's changing...he looks so much like my past....those eyes...those hands...that smirk...the way he cocks his head....the man I lost so long ago....now is what I'm beginning to see in what once was my little boy.

My husband now has forgotten what this week is...I shall not remind him...he asks if something is wrong...I shake my head no. How does one say to the man she now loves that the man she once loved she is missing? Seems wrong in so many ways....seems like some sort of betrayal.

I press on...even though I feel right now like quitting...I feel overwhelmed by life and the circumstances that I face now....but I press on. Not on human strength but on the wings of prayer...on the wings of those that pray for me...that circle around me and urge me on. I feel pain like I do when I'm running....just waiting for the time to be done....but feeling so happy that I pressed on....that I continued...that I didn't quit....but the sidelines are looking so good to me right now....they are calling me to sit...and rest for awhile...I shake my head no....and dig deep within myself and come up empty....I call out to God for help...He reaches down to me...sends me a friend... who urges me on....

Today I stayed busy by taking my dear friend and her daughter and my dear darling to American Girl. I have to say at first it seemed that both of the Mommies were more excited than the girls but then they came around!

I loved how they had the little chairs for the dolls to sit in and do their hair. I loved how the accessories and everything were sitting in beautiful boxes....Ellie was able to get a little something for her Bitty Baby...but still was in tears because she wanted a doll with hair...which I bought for her for Christmas....but obviously she doesn't know that!

I bought her Julie...who comes from 1974...the year I was born. I cannot wait until Christmas!

So today....I watched my E giggle and hold hands with her dear friend. I got to visit with my friend...and we ate cheeseburgers and fries....and let time stand still and enjoy all the fun of looking at dolls and their amazing accessories!

Major gifts that I'm counting today....

287. Time with my E at American Girl
288. Watching E laugh and giggle with her little friend
289. Cheeseburgers and Fries from Five Guys and Fries...or something...it was yummo though.
290. Watching a movie with just my E.
291. Remembering how grateful I am for electricity!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Nine years ago...this August 5th...life changed forever....I make this week...busy. I fill it with all I can fill.

My son is away at camp...perhaps that's why my heart misses him so...he's the only one that understands my loss...and feels the same. That's why I stay busy this week.

I used to go and sit at the headstone...trace his name...fresh flowers....hang new frogs..that's what Trey has always given him since he was three....but my heart was heavy and the pain to great to bear...he is no longer there anyway....so I stay busy.

I fill it with trips to American Girl, and projects around the house, swimming and dance...running with new shoes...I stay busy.

Monday, August 1, 2011

I'm the kind of person that once I start something new I totally go insane over it...I guess you could call me OCD. If I'm learning to freezer cook...I freezer cook everything.....if I'm making homemade cleaners....I make everything homemade....you get the idea!

So, I'm running in a 5K in October...I'm pretty sad at it right now...but I continue working...and today actually did a bit better!

I think it all has to do with my new running shoes... watcha think????

My goal is to run 3 miles in 30 minutes...seriously hoping that that happens...

As I continue to run and get more serious than I will allow myself to have more "trinkets" but for now....I like my shoes....I really like my shoes!