The Struggle is Real: Becoming a G-Big

You’re halfway through a recruitment event, and your little rushes up to you with an ear-to-ear smile that can only mean one thing. She’s found her future little. You immediately ask “Who is she?” as your little drags you across the room talking a mile a minute.

“Oh my gosh, you will absolutely love her. She is soooooo cute, and she’s still dating her boyfriend from home which is like the sweetest thing ever. It’s also so great because it means she’s not a slut. Oh, and you haven’t even heard the best part. She has the same name as your big! Tell me how perfect that is. She’s the one here, in the purple.”

You introduce yourself and start wondering what’s so great about this girl. Nothing in particular stands out. Her friends all seem really nice, but why isn’t she talking to you? Do I sense an attitude problem? She’s not nearly as great as the pre-law freshman who spent half an hour idolizing you for getting accepted to multiple law schools. Or the pre-med cheerleader that you totally bonded with because you wore the exact same pair of heels to the recruitment event. No, this girl isn’t anything special. You’re sure about that. You tell your little that it’s still really early in the process and there are a few other girls you think she needs to meet. You bring her over to the cheerleader and hope that’s the end of the girl in the purple.

As it turns out, it wasn’t the end. As recruitment comes to a close, it becomes clear that this girl who shouldn’t have been an issue is still around, and your little is holding onto her for dear life. Panic sets in and spreads throughout your body. This girl is so wrong for your family. She’s so awkward, she’s never even heard of Hobby Lobby, and why is she STILL not talking to you?!?! You call your big, hoping she’ll advise you on how to dissuade your little from making a huge mistake.

You send your little on girl-dates with PNMs who are big-approved, have your big make suggestions about potential new additions, and you may have spread a teensy rumor about one drunken night between the girl in the purple and her roommate, but nothing seems to be working. As bid day gets closer, the reality starts to sink in. This girl is going to be your grandlittle, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

As reveal approaches, something strange happens. The girl you were adamantly (but secretly and passive aggressively) fighting against starts to tug on your heartstrings. You realize she’s actually pretty smart, which is good since every member of your family always makes Dean’s List. You feel a little bit proud, when she chooses to stay with her boyfriend, even though all of the guys in your favorite fraternity showed up to her dorm with chiseled abs during pledging. You guess she’s kind of cute (well, duh, it’s not like your sorority would ever let in an ugly girl). Your little reminds you that maybe, juuuust maybe, she was initially quiet because she was intimidated by you, and let’s be honest, who wouldn’t be?

Perhaps, you were a little harsh, because you’re having a hard time coming to terms with having to share your little. You know the insane amount of love and obsession you have for your little. She truly deserves that same magical feeling when it comes to her little, and it clearly exists in this girl. Besides, you’ve trained your munchkin well, and you know she wouldn’t dare defy you unless she had a really good reason. So let go of that lingering jealousy those totally normal feelings, and get out your craft tote, because you’re about to be a grandbig!

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RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com

The blonde on top is someone decent. The one in the middle is ok, she’s skinny as fuck don’t let her dress fool you she has no ass and no tits. The one on the bottom looks like an aardvark or a fucking pig, I would need to consume a whole Budweiser factories inventory of brew to poke it in the dark hole.