Lurker: People You Hate on Facebook

Definition: A lurker is someone that follows the forum but doesn’t post. – Urban Dictionary

Lurkers never post anything on their social media but have plenty to say on yours. Moments after you post, they slam down a comment. They lurk in the background forever, waiting for their chance to pounce on the smallest infractions. Lurkers correct your spelling, act insulted, ask stupid questions, and are generally annoying.

Seems like they have something to say about everything YOU post. You will never be able to avoid them.

Lurker: 0 posts, 2,989 comments

Bragger: People You Hate on Facebook

Definition: A bragger is someone who boosts about herself and talks about her achievements and the recognition that she gets from others. Or about their money and/or material possessions. – Urban Dictionary

The bragger purchased a Marc Jacobs leather backpack? Post it. She won an all expense trip to Spain? Post it and include a minimum of 2,998 pictures with a martinis in hand.

Bragger: 1,989 post about self, 1 post of others

Cat Person: People You Hate on Facebook

A cat person will post 199 pictures of animals for each picture of a human. Even their children take backseat to this Facebookers obsession with cats. Surprise, cat people tend to be single and have fewer friends. Furthermore, did you know that pictures of cats are more popular than selfies? Hard to believe.

Complainer: People You Hate On Facebook

Definition: A complainer is someone who excessively complains yet is well aware of it. – Urban Dictionary

Complainers bellyache about everything. She’ll post about her subpar restaurant experience and report that service was too slow, food too cold,and meals too expensive. Also, she complains about her hairstylist, mother-in-law, husband and even the checkout lady at the grocery store. It’s apparent the complainer will never be satisfied with anything or anyone. Hence, she is compelled to publically announce her complaints on the world’s forum, Facebook.

Social justice warrior: People You Hate On Facebook

Definition: Social justice warrior is a pejorative term for an individual who repeatedly and vehemently engages in arguments on social justice on the Internet, often in a shallow or not well-thought-out way, for the purpose of raising their own personal reputation. – Urban Dictionary

Social justice warriors find a fresh cause to support each month through Facebook. In January, it’s the mistreatment of animals. By February, she’s battling plastic bags. Finally, by December, when you think she’s lost steam, she’ll kick into high gear and complain about the commercialism of the holidays. They never actually “do” anything to help the cause but simply post on Facebook.

That’s a good one. Got this one off Urban Dictionary…Uggggh just ate about fifteen piece of chocolate gotta learn to control myself when flying first class or they’ll cancel my modelling contract LOL :p #humblebrag.

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Stacey Gustafson is the bestselling author of Are You Kidding Me? My Life With an Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives, ranked #1 Amazon in Parenting & Family Humor and Motherhood. She’s also an inspirational speaker, blogger and comedian. Her short stories have appeared in Chicken Soup for the Soul, seven books in the Not Your Mother’s Book series, as well as Midlife Boulevard, Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, Pleasanton Patch, Bay Woof, and Better After 50. She writes the blog, Are You Kidding Me?, where she dispenses her humorous take on kids, husbands, parents and everything in between.

She has been featured in The Monthly, East Bay’s Premier Magazine of Culture and Commerce as “The New Erma Bombeck,” The East Bay Times, and Toastmasters Magazine.

Her awards include Erma Bombeck Humor Writer of the Month, California Writers Club, Tri-Valley Branch, winner of 2015 Prose Contest, Semi-Finalist in the 2015 Kindle Book Awards, Advanced Toastmaster Bronze award, and Best Comic of the Month at Tommy T’s Comedy Club. She performs stand-up throughout the East Bay.

She lives in Pleasanton, CA with her college sweetheart, Mike, and a white furball named Stanley who loves peanut butter treats. Visit her popular blog at StaceyGustafson.com, Facebook @StaceyGustafsonWriter, and Twitter @RUKiddingStacey.

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