Sunday, November 17, 2013

Perspective on Bad Reviews

Many years ago at a science fiction convention I was seated
next to a famous writer in a well appointed hotel lobby for a book signing –
his most recent novel and my first attempt. The idea was that convention
attendees offered bought books for a personal autograph, except the many sci-fi
fans were there to wear skimpy costumes, read comics and watch animee, and
maybe get laid.

The writer and I chatted during a long series of quiet
moments while infrequent shy readers approached and he flourished the felt tip
pen. One reviewer came by carrying four weighty copies of new books and forty
extra pounds under a tucked-in and buttoned-down shirt. “I reviewed your book,”
he said.

The famous writer looked over his glasses while he finished
an autograph for a young reader. “You said I played fast and loose with time,
and the events were out of sequence.” The reviewer registered surprise and pleasure that the
writer quoted his words back to him.

“You said the last chapters needed editing,” the writer
added, “and the ending was too fast.”

The reviewer took out his phone and glanced at me like I
might be willing to serve him to capture the moment.

“I’m reminded of a famous Van Gogh painting that hangs at
the Art Institute in Chicago,” the famous writer continued. “Maybe you’ve seen
it. The painter’s bedroom is depicted in too-bright yellows with the furniture
outlined in squiggly strokes, and the bedposts are too big so they seem to loom
off the canvas. I visited the gallery with my mother who claimed that was her
favorite painting. She felt confident providing a critique because so many
elements were obviously wrong.”

The reviewer’s countenance fell so he resembled a wax figure
that was melting. He turned on his heel and marched away with fat thighs and
buttocks pumping. The famous writer showed me the briefest smile before he
reached to sign the next offered book for a fan.

Of course, we all know that the wrong elements made the
painting recognizable at a glance as a Van Goth. Writers also seek a style
that’s instantly identifiable for paragraphs taken out of context like with
Flannery O’Conner, Margaret Atwood, or even Joyce Carol Oates. O’Conner was
slammed for too much violence, Atwood for word smithing, and Oates for, well,
everything.

I found your great blog through the WLC Blog Follows on the World Literary Cafe! Great to connect! I look forward to reading your posts! Please follow my blog back at http://lorenmathisbooks.blogspot.com/ Thanks!