"The title perfectly describes itself."

I find myself laughing yet again at a horribly done NES game. My search for awful games is going well, I tell ya! Now, here's the scoop.

Graphics: 6.3/10

''It's a sad thing when skinny people try to walk like they're fat.''

The graphics have little detail to them, to say the least. Duke Davis himself is in an eyesore yellow color. The other characters are done OK. Nothing more to say there. The animation is OK too. Nothing to write home about. I must ask why Duke walks around like a fat, depressed hobo, though.

Sound: -24583943/10

''I'd rather go through a Shania Twain song marathon.''

The music was incredibly annoying. The music felt very loud, beepy, and irritating. Personally, I had to really grin and bear it just to keep playing the game. Exposure to this kind of music long enough will have the neighbors yelling, the deaf crying, and you in a coma. Put in a CD, quickly!

Gameplay: 3/10

''No enemy massages today, folks!''

The first thing that bugs me is that the controls change with each level. You can practice the moves before you start the level, but why not just keep the damn moves the same for each level? The enemies are always the same. Dogs, midgets, gorillas, and sword-toting weirdos. In Level 2, the most disturbing attack in the game is released....the ass rub...err...the Trip Attack. Just don't do it on the sword-toting guys or it looks like you're giving them an ass rub. Now tell me, why the hell would Duke Davis give an enemy an ass rub? The other annoying thing is that the enemies bounce back when hit, similar to Who Framed Roger Rabbit. It's alright in that game, but a no-no in this type of game.

Replay Value: 0/10

''You shall recieve many thanks from many people by not playing it again!''

This game isn't worthy of playing again at all. Why even play it for the first time? You'll just waste precious minutes of your life you could've been using to waste your life on Tag Team Wrestling. Just pass it up, run it over, or use it as a doorstop, coaster, or torture device.

Overall: 3/10

''Rome wasn't built in a weekend, but why was this game made in one?''

The game would've been fun if the annoyances were fixed up on, but nope, the programmers did this in a weekend and look at the result! Shame! Much shame! Try harder next time!