Adult Son Interferes with Our Relationship

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Two months ago we started to live together. He was living with his 23 year old son at the time. Also, they both work together in a business that is open for lunch and again in the evenings. The son has continued living in the house they both lived in before he and I moved in together.

The evening that my boyfriend moved in with me, his son called to say "Dad, you've replaced me with her." It was supposed to be a special night for us. But, he tends to call even in the middle of the night and his dad never gets upset about being woken up over nothing. I think it is rude.

Now that my boyfriend finally put some distance between him and his son by moving in with me, I thought we were finally going in the right direction. Instead, I am very disappointed that he leaves our house at 7:30 AM every morning and says he's going to work...which really means he's hanging out at his son's house until they car-pool together to work at 11:00 AM.

I feel that my boyfriend is getting all of his emotional intimacy from his son. I feel neglected. How can I let him know that his intense closeness to his son is ruining our relationship? If he got together at his son's house once a week I could handle it but every day is just over the top. The constant phone calls between him and his son, when we are together, are also annoying and it makes me feel like an outsider.

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.

Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).

Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.

No correspondence takes place.

No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.

Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.

Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.