Swollen Genitals Man

In a neighborhood I once occupied, I used to see a man — an avatar of vibrancy — around town who was “suffering” from some kind of medical condition that caused his genitals to swell to immense proportion. Elephantitis of the nuts, although his entire package, beans plus frank, was uniformly yuge so maybe he hit the jackpot and got pachyderma of the penis too. Anyhow, this guy would stroll happily and confidently from cafe to cafe and bar to bar, on sunny days and sultry nights alike, chatting up random girls with the biggest shit-eating grin imaginable, his old man pleated pants stretched to smoothness by the extraordinary bulge that traveled the length of his thigh and bubbled like an active caldera at least a foot outwardly. A truly swole gentleman, his eighth wonder of the world could easily have been mistaken for a basketball stuffed down his pants.

For an astute observer of human nature such as yours unduly, the reactions of the girls were primetime entertainment. Swollen Genitals Man made no effort to hide or otherwise minimize the assault of his bursting crotch into the personal spaces of the girls he approached. He’d even put his hands on his hips and ever-so-subtly sway his King Dong pelvic region in a hypnotic figure eight.

I say hypnotic, because from the looks of them the girls couldn’t tear their eyes away. I can recall not one girl who turned away disgusted or promptly waved him off. Some smiled, some giggled, and some bantered with him, but all of them stared at that super sack like it was a T-bone to a hungry doge.

I wouldn’t say this is ideal Game, because I doubt he actually bedded any of these girls, but it was an object lesson in how fascinated girls are by a man’s impudent, remorseless, intrusive sexuality, because they hardly ever experience it surrounded by neutered corporate manginas.

PS One time SGM approached a mixed table from a bad angle, resulting in a hilarious awkwardness when his pride and joy nearly grazed the cheek of one of the men sitting at the table. The man jerked his face toward SGM and almost took every pound of that junkernaut in his mouth. The unfortunate victim was, physiognomically, a shitlib male. Another man at the table sitting about five feet away was, physiognomically, a shitlord. CH readers can guess how each man reacted to the scene as it unzippered (hint: their reactions were what you’d expect).

PPS Open borders and mass third world invasion means grotesque exotic diseases coming to a neighborhood near you!

Super-slut Heidi Klum did that with Seal. She saw his ‘full package’ and realised he was the man for her. The fact that she was pregnant with her husband’s child at the time didn’t stop taking jungle meat that night.

“PPS Open borders and mass third world invasion means grotesque exotic diseases coming to a neighborhood near you!”

But it’s all the fault of those shitbag anti-vaxxers, haven’t you heard? If everyone got their measles vaccine like they’re told to, nobody would get Ebola, or something like that.

No human can be illegal, but they sure can be disease reservoirs! The rebirth of cholera for all our new friends in America: “Cholera was not known in the Americas for most of the 20th century, but it reappeared towards the end of that century”!

i can see how this could happen. i deep-throated a girl while she was lying on the bed one time. when i stopped, she said she was glad i finished when i did because she couldn’t breathe while i was going to town. cut off the airway i guess.

When I was a 14-year-old lad possessed with the wisdom of such a one, I inflated a latex glove, tied it off, stuck it in my shorts, and confidently walked into the presence of scores of teens gathered at a casual shindig. Feigning surprise at the bulge (after I received a collective stare), I reached down, pulled out the gloveballoon, and exclaimed, “Whoa! There’s someone’s hand in my pants!”

To my surprise, this actually endeared me to the “it” girl, aka the chick we all wanted to bone. She mentioned to me how impressed she and her friends had been at first, saying, “Wow, we never noticed before that [Jurist] was so well-endowed!”

Had I any game at the time, it would have been on. In the end, she wound up bedding the 15-year-old jerkboy we all hated. No, not envied, but hated, legitimately. Nothing enviable about that prick…except his short-term girlfriend.

I became her pen pal (remember those?), which was much like being a long-distance beta orbiter. Years later, I finally scored with her when I got her drunk at a fairly high-society event. She stopped talking to me shortly after. She’s now old and ugly as sin.

I can’t find it online but there was an SNL skit, I think with John Belushi stuffing his pants to enormous proportions (as in needing another seat proportions) to that effect and then going out to clubs/bars and getting the girls.

Speaking of ugly hairy nuts, here’s yet another big reason why the USA is always up to mischief in the Middle East. Thanks to YKW! I found this piece of garbage while looking up where a new film call Kill Switch, coming out in June, is being filmed. His film studio is partners in with another in filming it. Ummm…no thanks, after I read this:

The conceptual penis presents significant problems for gender identity and reproductive identity within social and family dynamics, is exclusionary to disenfranchised communities based upon gender or reproductive identity, is an enduring source of abuse for women and other gender-marginalized groups and individuals, is the universal performative source of rape, and is the conceptual driver behind much of climate change.
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let google translate this in Latin the language our ancestor had to learn precisely for it clarity and its power to resist such a kind of verbal diheria