Wednesday, July 8, 2015

transitions

Yun continues to gain weight and has grown nearly an inch since her last appointment with the pediatrician. as awful as they are, all the appointments between visits to the pediatrician help us track her growth more closely, which is nice. with every appointment, i'm always so anxious to see how much she's gained. she returns to the pediatrician next week, and i'm pretty sure we'll have more good news on the height and weight front.

beyond all the medical appointments, we've been spending an increasing amount of time discussing and preparing for my impending return to work. we found a daycare that we love. it's home-based care, with all the teachers being primary mandarin speakers. they do about an hour of english a day, but the rest of the day is all in mandarin. we think she'll really love it.... eventually.

she's had a few short visits to the daycare and seems to be really struggling upon coming home each time. i know she's simply not ready. no kid should have to go to daycare before she's ready, but i think a lot of people don't understand the struggles that adopted children face. Yun isn't yet attached (a normal, healthy attachment process for an adopted child takes about a year), so putting her in daycare at this point can seriously damage and/or delay the attachment process. she has been abandoned at least once and then removed from everything she knew at least twice. she has had major surgery with no one to hold her and comfort her while confused and in pain. she is not just like any other kid (who has had the same parent(s) throughout life) transitioning to daycare. and our visit from the social worker today (adoptive families have to submit reports to China for 5 years after placement) confirmed my instincts. in her words, "she's clearly showing signs that she is not ready for daycare."

unfortunately, i have to return to work. as the sole income earner for our family (with medical bills piling up), it's just not possible for me to stay home any longer. it's kind of surreal for me to advocate for family leave and hear so many horror stories day after day to now be one of those stories - sick baby, but can't afford to stay home. yet, i'm considered the one of lucky ones as i've had twelve weeks with partial pay. many people don't get nearly that. and while i'm grateful, i certainly don't feel lucky.