Friday, October 07, 2011

Joysticks

"The weakness is that it’s an awfully fine line between retro pulp genius and bad pulp garbage and Sparks crosses that line spectacularly with a god-awful sex scene in Chapter Twenty-Two and never fully recovers."

"People, her breasts heave. Really, that’s the phrase: “her heaving breasts”. Then, and it pains me to tell you this, Appleton continues on to compare the hero’s penis to a joystick. A WHAT? That is not erotic! It doesn’t even make sense when describing the action being described! You don’t (usually) insert a joystick into anything! I’d quote the whole sentence, but I can’t, because my mother might read this review (Hi, Mom!) and I’d scar her for life, and possibly permanently damage the sex lives of the more fragile of our readers."