How to Prevent a Divorce

Don’t believe anyone who tells you that your marriage can’t be saved. Your marriage CAN be saved even if he wants to leave, even if he has already left, even if he cheated and even if he said he doesn’t love you anymore.

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I have been married to my husband for 9 years, together for 15. He has in the last 5 years gone through multiple jobs. Quitting and getting fired. We have never been financially stable. We constantly struggle and it makes it hard for us to keep it simple for the kids. I told him this January how I felt and how I have given up. He fought to keep trying and suggested we try on new ground. We moved to South Dakota from California, in April. As much as I didn’t want to with little to know where and what we were moving into. I did it to give it a shot at saving my marriage. Now 4 months in, he has not changed. He recently walked out of the job we came put here for and now I am the only one working. He has told,me he doesn’t want,to go back to CA, I have told him countless times I don’t want to stay here. Even after the 6 month season is over. He recently got hired with a place that won’t open till October, that will be the 6 month mark. I never planned on living our here for good let alone a year. I want to take our kids and move, while he plants his feet in his new job and transfer when possible.
How do I do that?
What should I do?
Am I needing a break from him?

I feel that I have done everything on my own anyway for the last 6 years. With his past positions as restaurant manager he always worked late nights and opposite hours from mine.

My husband left me 2 years ago for another woman . My H is 55 and the OW is 35 . She is divorced with a 6 year old son . My H and I have been married for 35 years . he met her in May of 2015 , I found out about it in July of 2015 , I asked him to stop seeing her , I asked that we work on our marriage , he refused and moved out and in with her in oct. 2015 . But he says he doesn’t want a divorce . I could not deal with the situation and I filed for divorce and he became angry , asked me not to divorce him . He said he didn’t want to go through the trauma of it and that a divorce would be so final . He says he goes back and forth about coming back to me. He says he is confused . He says he is happy with her most of the time but it’s different with her , it’s a different life etc. he says he misses me at times .. we would see each other 1-2 a week for about the first year and a half he has been gone but in January of this year he stopped seeing me at all , so I haven’t seen my H in 8 months. He will not answer his phone when I call him , so we never speak on the phone and now texts are becoming few and far between. But again he has not filed for divorce . He has introduced the OW to his family ( they know we are not divorced ) and he is not keeping the relationship with the OW secret. He is living very openly with her and her son . I am at my wits end and I do not know what to do .. please help …

I know you may not like this, but I think it’s time to move on. You don’t have to divorce to move on. If you manage to feel good again, no matter where he is and what he’s doing – you’ll get everything you want. Resisting the situation won’t help – you now know this.

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