The Craft of Writing

Emotions and Health

New Horizons

Those past two weeks had seen me have 2 new artificial lenses put in my eyes: that is, cataract surgery on both eyes; seek digital assistance with making my website better; and assist Labor in Australia’s recent elections, even though I felt they would lose. I was right, but the election was a disaster for the Government, too. At least we didn’t get a clown like the one in the White House now.

Cataract Surgery

Intaocular lenses (IOLs) are small plastic devices with plastic side struts, called haptics, to hold the lens in place within the capsular bag inside the eye. (Wikipedia). IOLs were conventionally made of an inflexible acrylic glass material (PMMA), utilised during the Second World War, in submarines and fighter planes, with positive results in terms of human survival and injury. Naturally, this has largely been superseded by the use of more flexible materials.

More recently, these lenses have been further improved, especially the multifocal lenses, which were originally associated with “haloing” issues, and problems with night driving. So far, my experience with these new lenses has been excellent. I can read, shop and see far into the distance without wearing glasses. Hurrah for technology!

Blogging and Plugins

Starting a new website with a new theme had been a real challenge, coinciding with my new eyesight! I’ve never been technologically savvy, and understanding and configuring things, both with my host and my WordPress site was hard. I’d never tried to use plugins before, so it was quite a challenge. With WordPress.com, plugins are done for you. With WordPress.org, I had to read up about this and try to get my head around terms; and at times it was too difficult without help from my host and/or WordPress. It was also very time-consuming, but I was determined to see it through.

Reality set in at last, and I realised that I needed a hands-on “helper”, a mentor, here in my own country. Enter a Digital expert, and the result is my new blog: anneskyvington.com.au

The Australian Election 2016

Parliament House, Canberra

It was only three days after my second cataract surgery, that the double dissolution election occurred. Our Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, had called the election to try and gain more power in the Senate. He’d been touted to win in a landslide by all polls and pundits in the country. Even people, like me, who’d voted Labor all their lives, were influenced by the media reports, and were expecting another Liberal/National (Coalition) Party victory in both Houses. A double dissolution also involves half the Senate. The prime Minister himself believed in the hype, too. But it was a long pre-election campaign, and the leader of the opposition, Bill Shorten, campaigned hard by touring in his “Bill Bus”, and by making himself available to the public in his egalitarian way.

I’ve always seen myself on the side of the underdog, and it was “Health and Education” issues that turned the tide against the government’s “Jobs and Growth” mantra. At times it looked like the opposition might even win, or gain power with a slight margin. However, it looks more likely that it will be a hung parliament, and especially bad for the Government in the Upper House.

Surely this outcome could not have been foreseen? It goes against the truism that in politics nothing happens by accident, but is always planned by far-seeing agents. I didn’t see this coming: a 3.5 percent swing towards Labor; and the Prime Minister couldn’t have seen it coming, either, I’m sure.

The Marble Foyer inside Parliament House

So, I no longer have to wear glasses for reading, shopping or distance sight. And I’m still looking for a party that will take us back to those far-off days, when this country and its people cared more about equality; and when governments supported a truly Multicultural Approach to immigration, like that which existed under Whitlam, Hawke and Keating.

Note the growing problems with inequality and racism, since conservative governments took over in this country.

Canberra was chosen as the setting for the Australian Government, because both Sydney and Melbourne were contenders for hosting the Parliament, and this city is situated between both.

The Westminster System

New horizons in personal and national goals was last modified: August 21st, 2017 by Anne Skyvington

I’ve always been a bit of a risk taker in some ways. [See My Travel Journal: “From Paris to Russia and Back in 1968“]. Different cultures and new landscapes, tasting foreign foods, learning about faraway countries and their languages, have always attracted me. In 1970, on the way back to Australia, I rode on a bicycle in a twenty kilometre radius around the ruins of the Cambodian temples, notably the beautiful Angkor Watt. This was not long before the Communist takeover, and remains in my memory as one of the high points of my life. A French archeologist accompanied me back to the Angkor Watt at dusk on his motorcycle, to take photos and to purchase a temple rubbing from the monks there.

The Angkor Wat Temple in Cambodia

On the other hand, I have always had a strong self-preservative instinct, and I’ve been incredibly stable and lucky during long periods of my life. We’re all made up of contradictions, I guess. Anyway, recently, I made the decision to change over to a self-hosted website on WordPress. I can tell you, it’s not for the faint-hearted! The first step was to migrate the site from WordPress.com across to WordPress.org, and to open an account with a web host (BlueHost in my case).

After that, the real troubles began. I’ve spent many minutes, hours, days, weeks, struggling to learn all the jargon associated with troubleshooting, changing things, chatting with online helpers bearing funny names, like Rajneeshi devotees, and it’s not over yet. On the bright side, I’m pleased with the look of the site. On the other hand, I hadn’t been able to figure out, or “configure”, comments from followers, which my friends had complained about. You see, I had to spend time re-organising my categories and my menu, too.

You might well ask why did you do it? I had an attractive free blog already on WordPress, so why go to all the trouble — paying a host provider, and learning the new rules? I think it was, partly, that I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, and because I wanted to become the owner of a professional-looking blog with a blogging tool built into it. Perhaps I was wrong…

When I looked at the main advantages of “.org” over “.com”, it wasn’t about cost, because I was already paying about the same fee annually, for premium upgrades—only about $100—as I will be now for the host. The main advantage is the plugins: there are hundreds to choose from with the hosted site, and you can learn to use them to advantage. But again, it was a sharp learning curve for me.

So I had to ask my friends and followers to please bear with me, while I muddled around a bit more, trying to put the finishing touches to my “website”, like a painter or artist, who hasn’t quite mastered a certain technique yet.

And then, after all that, I discovered that I could retain the .com site and benefit from the WordPress community there, if I so chose.

More recently, however, I have decided to employ a digital expert here in Australia to assist me in improving my site. This has been the best move yet!

The importance of mentors

Taking Risks in Outer and Inner Journeys was last modified: August 21st, 2017 by Anne Skyvington

How do you react to negative feedback?

In our family, I was often overly sensitive. Fate had paired me off with a mother who had quite a thick hide. Small things upset me, and big things were crushing for my very soul. One instance was the near-death of a beloved brother when I was six. I tried to conceal my “weakness”; I took on the guilt for some things that were not my fault: even this brother’s accident. It meant that I grew up carrying heavy emotional baggage on my shoulders.

Later on, after much work on my part, I was able to heal from my troubles. I even got rid of the “Black Dog” of depression, so that I could bring up my two children in a healthy environment.

Later on, I learnt to have compassion for my mother, who suffered from “nerves” that were misunderstood symptoms in those days. One of my main aims in writing is to destigmatise mental illness.

Learning to have compassion

Sometimes I’ve felt like The Idiotin the masterpiece by Dostoyevsky, because I’ve found it hard to give up on those who are suffering. The protagonist, Prince Myshkin, puts up with a lot, and comes across as being stupid; but he is the incarnation of compassion within the structure of the novel. The title is meant to be ironic.

Learning from suffering, is also how you learn to have compassion for others. This often starts in the home. If not, school days usually teach us about this all-important emotion. In fact, it’s often through suffering ourselves, that we learn to have compassion and sympathy for others.

When I was in fourth class at primary school, my teacher, a returned war serviceman, who’d been wounded in the Second World War, used to write this short poem on the blackboard. It was for cursive writing practice. I was never good at handwriting, but I loved poetry. The sentiments expressed in this poem made a great impression on me at the time.

Life is mostly froth and bubble,Two things stand like stone.
Kindness in another’s trouble,Courage in your own.

This sentiment stood by me when I was being bullied at junior primary school around this time; when I felt terribly alone with no one to stand up for me. Many sensitive children go through this at some stage in their school days. My reaction was in part linked to the near-death accident of that much loved brother.

Later on, in high school, Shakespeare’s words attributed to Portia in The Merchant of Venice (the court scene) made a similarly huge impact on me:

The quality of mercy is not strain’d,It droppeth as the gentle rain from heavenUpon the place beneath: it is twice blest;It blesseth him that gives and him that takes:

Finding a mentor or kindred spirit

When I first read Memories, Dreams and Reflections by Carl Jung, I knew that I’d found a kindred spirit, or at least, a mentor. Jung’s ideas on Projection have been an especially enlightening idea for me. He claimed that it was the most ubiquitous aspect of human psychology. He even went as far as to say that the best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw—that is to reclaim— the projection of our own shadow on to others. As a child, he felt alone, and still felt like that as an adult, and even as an old man. This was because he knew things, and had to hint at things, which others didn’t know about, and for the most part, didn’t want to know about.

Today, we are often tarred with the title of “whacko” if we hint at our own personal experiences that seem to collide with or question accepted social tenets, especially those of Science today. Carl Jung in the early twentieth century knew this, and kept many of his thoughts to himself. Even the great Russian writer, Tolstoy, in the nineteenth century, succumbed to depression in later life, and could not hold onto his spiritual beliefs, which had nonetheless inspired an exalted community of followers, including Mahatma Gandhi. In his Confessions, written in late middle age, Tolstoy expresses his disillusionment with religion, and turns to a more mystical/Eastern search for God. He was excommunicated by the Orthodox church in response to expressing his views.

Learning to Have Courage and Compassion was last modified: September 7th, 2017 by Anne Skyvington

What is Meditation?

“It’s what happy and successful people do,” I was told, when I first started learning about meditation and how to do it. The Dalai Lama and other Tibetan Buddhists believe that happiness is the actual goal of most people on earth. But we in the West are brought up with the idea that finding a job, buying a house, getting married and having children are what we should aim for. Yet, while aiming for these goals, and even on reaching them, quite often we feel depressed, dissatisfied, and, yes, unhappy.

Meditation has been around from time immemorial; it was first recorded in written texts from seven thousand years ago in China. While meditation has become linked mainly to Eastern cultures, it is integral to most spiritual paths, and basic to all major religions in some form or another.

Dr Ian Gawler of the Ian Gawler Foundation claimed to have been cured of cancer through meditation and dietary changes. He states that “No matter where in your life you want to see improvement, meditation can help. It does not matter what age you are, your culture or beliefs; meditation is for everyone and can provide you with great benefits, many of which have been scientifically confirmed. This simple, yet powerful mind training tool, can bring long-term improvement to your health, well-being, relationships and career.”

Modern doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists recommend “mindfulness meditation” practices as part of stress management skills. These practices are based on the same millenia old Buddhist meditation skills, often stripped of their religious connotations. Research shows that changes take place in the brains of practitioners, even after a short time utilising these methods. Nevertheless, ritual in some form or another, gives structure to these practices and encourages the formation of habits.

How to Meditate

Simply put, you sit with your back erect, close your eyes, focus on your breath, and practise mindfulness. It takes time and continued practice to learn how to do this easily and comfortably, without being pulled around by speedy, agitated monkey mind which refers to a person’s inability to quieten their thoughts and pacify their minds. Buddhists compare thoughts to clouds moving across the clear background of the sky.

A Simple Meditation

Sit or lie comfortably. You may even want to invest in a meditation chair.

Close your eyes.

Make no effort to control the breath; simply breathe naturally.

Focus your attention on the breath and on how the body moves with each inhalation and exhalation.

Focusing on a special sound (om) or on a source of light, such as a candle, are other useful tools.

Swedish “love coach”, Carolin Dahlman, gave a presentation to our writers’ group around the idea of networking in order to be published. Most of the large group of writers who attended were hoping to be published one day. Her message was that, in this fast-moving world, we need to self-promote through the internet and other technology at our disposal, and to go out and meet people and talk about our projects. Admittedly, she has found a rewarding niche for herself, in that many lonely people need her psychological know-how, and her skills for relating to others. At the same time, she has to self promote and she has boundless energy for doing so.

A question from a group member who saw himself as being highly intelligent was about IQ versus EQ. He believed in the supremacy of IQ, intelligence quotient, for a happy life. Carolin claimed that, in fact, IQ can be an obstacle in a person’s search for “truth”. Her response was that emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) is far more important for finding love and happiness than IQ. She often meets intelligent men and women who are afraid of seeking out love and who live a lonely life as a result.

Several people in the group pointed out examples of “idiot savants” (Remember “Rain Man” played by Dustin Hoffman?) who can calculate extraordinary sums in their head, but who can barely look after themselves. However, these are extreme examples of specifically gifted individuals within the “autism spectrum” , who do not score well on intelligence tests at all.

Another definition of EQ is from Salovey and Mayer: “A form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.

Daniel Goleman, in his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence, identified 4 aspects of the concept as follows: Knowing your emotions; managing your own emotions; motivating yourself; managing relationships i.e. managing the emotions of others. The fifth one is the hardest to achieve; many parents will agree with this, as small children are naturally egotistical.

Did Albert Einstein attempt to synthesise, at least through his writings, the two aspects of intelligence, as this painting suggests?

Networking and Emotional Intelligence was last modified: September 7th, 2017 by Anne Skyvington