6.You secretly judge anyone who buys bagels from Sainsbury's.

7.If you were in a Facebook relationship with bacon, it would be "complicated".

Even kosher Jews admit that nothing smells better, or cures hangovers more effectively, than bacon. So basically you're vegetarian. Except for seafood because mussels and lobster and oysters and oy gevult, it's complicated. As long as you're kosher in front of your Grandpa, you're fine.

13.You have an uncle whose favourite fact is that EVERYONE famous is Jewish.

Daniel Radcliffe wasn't just chosen to be a wizard, he's one of the Chosen People. Also of note are: Ali G; Daniel Day Lewis; Natalie Portman; Kat Dennings; Lena Dunham and Jesus. They are all "one of the tribe".

14.You have another uncle who is always right about the situation in the Middle East.

20.So, even thought we're a varied bunch, we'll always all have Carmelli's, easyJet flights to TLV, and a British take on Jewish guilt.

21.And of course, despite being a tiny population of just 260,000 (that's 0.5% of the UK population), we share in something so much bigger, something most of the other 14 million Jews around the world do: chicken soup.