: lipstick on a pig :

Dress it up, dab eau de cologne behind its ears, stick on false eyelashes, too. It’s still a pig.

The same holds true for junk food, even if the newly created artisanal packaging is brilliant. Dan Meth at Buzzfeed came up with these and they’re awesome. Notice how the elegantly boxed Slim Jim has been renamed ‘Slim James.’ Nice touch, very subtle, but I bet they still taste like a tire. Cap’n Crunch is now Captain Crunch, but he should be an Admiral. He’s that good.

Ah, it’s nice to turn on my cellular data again. I made it safely to the end of the billing cycle without being charged for additional data, but it was a long, dull slog. I’m happy to be back roaming the internet and stumbling across its many treasures. At least until the next message announcing I’ve used 90% of my 3GB. Oy, I hate those alerts.

Data overages are just one more thing to worry about. Like the nagging fear of a significant other finding out exactly where you’ve been on the internet. Yikes-o-rama, eh? Scratch that one off your list, bucko, with a medic alert-type bracelet from @NursingMemes. It looks official and medical and could, quite literally, save your neck. Think about it.

Thanks for stopping, boys and girls. Tune in again next week, same time, same place. I’ll bring the Twinkies and Slim James :o)