Wouldn't it be grand

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

I'm at it again. Highest weight ever, 244.4. Wondering where all my pure intentions that I had went, the ones I started with when I joined SparkPeople a year ago. Shouldn't I be a success story by now?? What gives?? Oh, perhaps its the sometimes twice daily McDonald's habit I have developed. *Cringe*.

Perhaps it's the occasional slip up I now have with my "not" smoking. Ugh. Double triple ugh. Why have I been such a screw up the last few months?? I want more than anything to get back on track. But my approach has to be different this time.....

I can't do the "all or nothing" thing anymore. It gets me nowhere. I try to make all the major changes at once, right at the start, and I wonder why I can't keep it up past 3 weeks. Gotta start small, and do the weekly goal thing. Why oh why have I put myself through mental torture before, when all the articles, all the experts said to do the same thing? BABY STEPS!! TAKE IT ONE SMALL CHANGE AT A TIME!!! So I am actually going to give that an honest try.

Also, and I have no idea if this is related, but according to the internet it is.....I had an IUD put in in August. I've noticed my weight has ballooned since then....but I can't put the blame on the IUD soley, because I have been eating like a horse also since it was put in. But I wonder if it makes a difference, or if it will hinder my weight loss to any great degree...? Eagerly awaiting an appointment with my obgyn, who conveniently keeps getting stuck in surgery on the days I have appointments scheduled. Sigh. Appointment in Feb, let's see what she says about it....

Why is it so hard to just keep life simple? To have a completely stress free job? To never have to worry about getting knocked up? To be effortlessly skinny and beautiful with perfect hair and teeth, and cultivate the perfect loving relationship with the worlds most sensitive and understanding boyfriend??? Oh and to smoke and never worry about getting cancer? Sigh. Wouldn't it be grand.

LMAO! INDEED life would be easier if only.................But you can do this! I am starting over again, too. I've had some pretty stressful events in my life the past few years and the weight just kept creeping up........Everyone's story, right? Just hang in there and things will go better this time around.