As your future President I want to thank my supporters, for your mindless support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative

achievement, my pastor's relations with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Moamar Quadafi, or my blatantly leftist voting record while I present myself as

some sort of bi-partisan agent of change.

I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behavior somehow qualifies me for the Presidency after 8 years of

claiming Bush's youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political posing.

I would also like to thank the Kennedy's for coming out in support of me. There's a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam War,his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin

Luther King, Jr. and Teddy killed a female employee with whom he was having an extra marital affair and who was pregnant with his child. And I'm not going anywhere near the cousins, both literally and figuratively. And I'd like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the White

House.

Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or achievement, but because I make people feel good. Voting for me causes some white folk to feel relieved of their imagined, racist guilt. I say things that sound meaningful, but don't really mean anything because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have meaning,then that means you have to think about them. Americans are tired of thinking. It's time to shut down the brain, and open up the heart. So when you go to vote in the fall election, remember don't think, just do. And do it for me.

DUDE!! IT HAS A FUCKING TAIL!! AND IS COVERED IN FUR!! THAT'S NOT NICE!! IT'D BE LIKE FUCKING AN IMPOVERISH BEAR!!

It's a dog! A FUCKING DOG!! Why definitely just cut out the middle man and watch real bestiality? Or are you just in denial of your sick fetish? Hiding behind the fact it's on a body that kind of resembles a human's physique.

Go on, admit it, you just want to fuck a real dog. Do it, no one is judging you.