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You may be a leg man—or a breast guy—so there’s a pretty good chance you’re ignoring the sexiest female organ of all: her brain. “Many guys crash and burn in their quest to be a great lover because they forgot that the most important part of her body is her mind,” says Reef Karim, MD, author of Why Does She Do That? Why Does He Do That? and the director of The Control Center, a sex, drugs, and relationship treatment center in Beverly Hills. Follow his advice on stroking her head, so her body will naturally follow you into bed.

Be patient. When you have a new girl’s attention and you’re working to close the deal, don’t rev your engines prematurely. “You don’t want to come across like a predator,” says Dr. Karim. “No girl wants to hook up with a creeper.” To avoid that vibe, don’t stare too much—particularly at her lady parts—don’t be too touchy-feely, or get too physical too soon. “When a woman is worried you could hurt her, it’s over. So much of her enjoyment is about feeling safe.”

Think about ambience. Girls instinctually appreciate that candles and mood lighting are romantic. That’s probably not your own natural instinct, but it’s an easy angle that steers girls in a sexy direction. “Guys don’t care if candles are lit or not,” says Dr. Karim. “We don’t care if it’s dark and we can’t see or if all the lights are on.” But girls may be more insecure about their bodies, so setting the lighting so that it’s dim enough that she doesn’t have to be overly self-conscious will up your odds of a steamy night.

Play to her sense of smell. A pleasant aroma—mixed with a cocktail of pheromones—goes a long way toward turning everyone on, since your olfactory sense is the strongest. “Incense and natural smells are always better than cheesy cologne,” says Dr. Karim. “Drakkar Noir is now a repellent like mosquito spray.” Individual smell preferences differ from woman to woman, so impress her even more by asking if she prefers the scent of sandalwood, roses—or a garlicky tomato sauce instead. “A little research into what she likes can go a long way in the bedroom.”