Where do you draw a line in the sand that separates judgment from an inability to relate? It seems as if a lot of the men trying to date are in situations that make it hard for a woman to want to deal with them.

On and off, hide and reveal, resign and restart. The vicious cycle known as online dating and for the life of me, I just don’t understand how men can continue to sabotage themselves by ruining the most important part of the process – the dating profile and specifically, the photos. Do these men not realize that they can turn a woman all the way on by what he’s sharing in his profile and just the same, can turn us off completely by choosing the lazy, cheesy and sleazy photos like this debonair fella right here: Yes, this is an actual photo from someone’s profile and yes – he looks like…

The funny thing about dating is that there are so many different types of men and situations out there so you really are placed in a position of picking your poison. My last date from a few months ago really had it together. He owned a couple of properties, had a stable career with no debt and only one child and was just as eager as myself to find someone special and settle down. That same man was also a self-centered, controlling, condescending asshole who believed he was the crème de la crème and couldn’t understand why or how any woman could reject him. But like the others he’d complained…

I’m caught up in this vicious cycle where the levels of frustration are so bad that I say to hell with it all. I take down all of my decorations and pretty pictures, and might even leave some threatening note before finally ending things for good. After a couple of weeks or so, boredom usually sets in and a little sliver of hope pops into my mind that maybe – just maybe things will be different this time. Aren’t these the types of thoughts that makes a person want to have some reflective moments to re-evaluate their purpose and goals? Hell yeah, it certainly is so after much thought and…

Last week’s date marked the first time I’ve gone out with a non-black man and while one “quick” meet up will never allow me to claim an interracial dating experience, at least I was open coerced enough to have tried it. During that excruciating hour and eleven minutes with the hangover I’ll call Guido, a few things became perfectly clear to me: (1) nearly every man lies about at least one thing on his dating profile, (2) broken English and improper verb tense isn’t something I’ll ever be able to stomach, and (3) being told how beautiful I am repeatedly in one sitting is a little creepy. That being said,…

“So um hypothetically speaking, let’s say you and I keep doing this right here you know and after about three months we’re in a really cool place. Does that mean you’ll eventually close out your dating account or do we have that conversation when you feel like you’re ready?” Blank stare. “I’m ready, you know what I’m saying because you are the type of woman who is on my level, is over the clubbing, you’re a good parent and think the same way as I do. So um are you ready to take this to the next level?” Fool, what level and why are you talking like you’re with the homies on…

This week in online dating fuckery…. “Grab my attention, huh? Well I’m certainly interested in being locked from top to bottom. I just need to get rid of these cold sores and finish this prescription for this HPV…” Okay, so I really didn’t say this but it sure would have been a hoot to see what Mister Carmel had to say. FUCKERY. Most of the time these foolish tyoes of messages are simply ignored but every now and then, I’ll reply. I know this is a little odd, but sometimes I just want to pass the time being entertained by these idiots. I’m realizing more and more that the number…

How do you respond to a dude who’s photos shows a money struggle between bills, weed and women and if you think this photo is bad, just imagine what his dating profile says. I normally ignore messages from ingrates like this (using the Urban Dictionary meaning here), but sometimes I really want to message EXACT what I am thinking and feel. The Inland Empire (San Bernardino, Riverside) area seems to be breeding a special kind of loser because this happens to be the fourth of his kind that has reached out to me this week. Sometimes I really wonder if breaking up with any of my ex’s was such a good…

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If only he hadn’t invited me upstairs to his place after dinner, things might have gone differently. I may not have figured it out so soon. Let’s roll back the tape to that date two weeks ago… I’m unapologetically shallow when it comes to physical attractiveness, it’s a turn on. We know this, so I no longer pretend that looks don’t matter. A man with a high level of intelligence and great communication skills is equally sexy and if his integrity and goals are in alignment? A definite panty dropper. It’s just so damn hard finding that perfect balance, so I try to work with some of the ones who…

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It’s been a long week for me and today is only Tuesday, so I welcomed a little break with a few dating site messages. Things started off kind of odd with this dude because his first message said “Hello, you are very beautiful so I had to message. I read your profile carefully and no one is perfect.” What the hell? Who’s looking for perfection?? I just make it pretty darn clear with this newly reactivated profile that my threshold for bullshit is negative zero. I reply something simple and this dude asks me how my day was and if I was headed home. I said not yet and returned…

Sometimes I really wished my levels of perception were dialed down from a level 10 to maybe a 2. Maybe if my instincts about certain situations with these hangovers weren’t so on point, then perhaps I wouldn’t be struggling so much in trying to find my guy. Translation – I should either ignore a lot of shit and be as naïve as a lot of women and just suck it up. The problem is that the thought of doing this aches me to the core of my soul, because it just isn’t in me to ignore the obvious. I guess th is all means the man I’m supposed to be with…

Well, I have just made it through the first week of being “back” into the scheme of things, back in the mix, back in the shit. Online dating. I guess it wouldn’t be fair to complain about anything such as of the types and quality of men just yet because you get out what you put in, right? Meaning I really haven’t done much other than create the profile, write the abridged versions of “why I’m great and should no longer be single” thesis, and post a decent profile picture. What else have I done, you may ask – not a damn thing. Like a bird kicking back and waiting…

Before I can even go into all of the things that went running through my mind when picking a dating web and signing up, I have to say the experts are wrong. They say that only the good, well written, and carefully thought out profiles are noticed the most. I’m going to have to say no, no, and no. The ones that stand out like that yellow and black tape at a crime scene are the ones that stand out and for the life of me, I can’t understand why those are the ones making the most contact. They say you are what you attract, right? Since this seems to…