There once was as time when the IKEA As-Is section version of Kim and Kanye wasn’t Kylie Jenner and Tyga. It was back in 2014, and that couple was Naya Rivera and Big Sean. Naya and Big were engaged, but they called it off. Some people speculated that Naya ended things because Big Sean had been offering up his dick to strangers like a one-man sausage sample station at Costco. But Big Sean refuted that claim by releasing a post-breakup statement denying that he’s a cheater. A few months later, he started datingAriana Grande. Naya wrote about those rumors in her recent tell-all book Sorry Not Sorry, and she’s more than happy to give you a not-so-subtle hint about who Sean may have cheated with.

Naya’s tell-all came out yesterday, and she’s already told us bout her no-regrets tit purchase and her day off abortion. But we’re just getting around to learning the details of what killed her relationship with Big Sean, and UsWeekly has the details. Naya says she and Big Sean had been fighting for five days straight while he was away. When Sean finally got back to L.A., Naya wanted to see him, but he didn’t want to see her. Naya had keys to his house, so she decided to go over anyway. You know where this is going.

Naya walked in to Big Sean’s house, went downstairs, and she spotted a “little girl” (shade on, Naya) sitting cross-legged on the couch listening to music. For the readers at home trying to guess who the little girl was, Naya said her name rhymes with “Smariana Schmande.” So vague! The only way she could have been more obvious would be if she had described her as “the little sister of a social media mogul who looks like a coked-up flamingo.”

Naya only claims that Smariana Schmande was sitting on a couch, not fucking Big Sean. So we really don’t know if he did, in fact, cheat on her with a little girl named Smariana.

Naya also talked about the rumor that she and Lea Michelehated each other while working on Glee. Naya admits that she and Lea liked each other about as much as Jessica Lange likes waiting behind a try-hard pose-bot on the red carpet.

“As the show progressed, though, that friendship started to break down, especially as Santana moved from a background character to one with bigger plot lines and more screen time. I think Rachel – erm, I mean Lea – didn’t like sharing the spotlight…Lea and I definitely weren’t the best of friends, and I doubt we’ll ever sit on her couch and eat kale together again, but the rumors of our ‘feud’ were blown out of proportion.”

Is Naya sure she knows what a friend is? Because sitting on someone’s couch eating kale doesn’t sound like a friends being friends kind of thing to me. That sounds like the kind of thing you do when you want to give someone the hint to delete your number from their phone.

Here’s Naya at a book signing for Sorry Not Sorry yesterday in a pair of boots that look like the time I pulled white socks over a pair of heels in high school and was like “Yes, FASHION!”

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