Tuesday, 28 June 2016

What makes a house a home? Well, a bookshelf of course! Filled to the brim with book’s you still haven’t got around to reading, odd bits and bobs and those overly priced shoes you bought that are just too pretty to wear.

I purchased my bookshelf from Argos (I know right, sassy or what) and basically filled it with everything that was lying on my floor while attempting to make it look pretty and colourful.

Being honest and real with you all the top shelf is indeed full of books that I haven’t got around to reading yet (except 50 Shades of Grey, I won't lie I have read that one) and most of the odd bits and bobs are from Camden and the wonderful, magical markets.

The quote and frame I picked up from a cute stall at a fashion show I attended for work when I first started my job and it just reminds me of how excited I was to be going to events as a journalist, bless baby Soph.

I’d love to know what you think of the contents of my bookshelf if you want to know where something is from just leave a comment or email me at vavaviolett@outlook.com and I’ll get back to you asap!

Half way through doing my makeup it occurred to me that every single time I go out and do ‘my full face of makeup’ I always do the same look. Nude lips, brown smokey eyes, fake eyelashes and while also always using the same products and shades. Which leaves me in the awkward situation of all my selfie’s looking identical.

So, like any women in despair I took to Google to help me gather some inspiration and spent about three hours this morning scrolling through Pinterest gathering up any inspiration I could find.

Now all I want to do is apply makeup and then wipe it all off to reapply it all over again using different products and creating different looks. I have draws and draws filled to the brim with makeup that I have never even used because I am so lazy and always use the same damn products.

I’m going to start posting more tutorials on here and do some really quirky ones like Disney characters and ones with synthetics.

So if you find yourself always using the same products ladies go and gather some inspiration and don’t let any of that precious makeup go to waste!

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

Can
women have mindless sex… like men can? Now isn’t that the question us women
have been pondering since the first episode of Sex and the City aired.

We
seem to think that only men can have sex and not get emotionally attached and
only women seem to get attached after sex. Is this really the case? Do we
always get attached afterwards? Or do we simply get attached to the feeling of
being wanted? OR is that what attachment sex simply is?

Most
of my columns are inspired by Sex and the City this particular question
pondered my mind while watching episode 5 of season 1. Carrie a female
journalist living in New York
takes on the experiment to see if us women can have sex and leave instantly and
never think about that man ever again. It got me thinking, ‘Could I do that?
Could I do it for the hell of it, for fun and just leave?’

The
answer is, yes, yes I can. I can as you may say ‘mentally fuck like a man’.
That’s not a bad thing in my eyes. Women are fighting for equality across the
globe, we strive for the same paycheck, we work hard for the top dog jobs, we
raise our voices in pitches and meetings in the work place so why can’t we own
it and leave it in the bedroom without being slut shamed? I’m done with this
whole ‘women who sleep around are sluts’ don’t try and put me or another women
down because of our ‘sex count’, don’t stereotype and label me for something
that if a man does it gains him ‘lad points’.

It
may shock you but women can have sex and not fall in love. We simply have needs
just like you and well when you’re hungry you eat, right? So when you’re horny,
you… see where I’m going here.

Maybe
the dating game is changing, maybe we are fed up, maybe we want the easy life
or maybe we just want to have some fun. And you know what, as long as you want
it, you’re both consenting adults and you have safe sex then you go ahead and just
have mindless, emotionally unattached sex and enjoy it. Don’t feel guilty for
that.

Monday, 20 June 2016

Last week I shared with you all
my favourite ever pink lipstick, well now, we’re going to get nude…

I have around 30/40 nude
lipsticks. Some look fabulous and some resemble my foundation lips from when I
thought it was trendy at 13-years-old. But Honeylove by MAC is my fairy tale
ending. It is simply the perfect nude. Paired with a brown smokey eye I feel
sassy enough for anything.

It has a matte finish but is not
drying at all on the lips and it survives drinking and eating without a
complaint.

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

I have
plenty of bad habits, from my behaviour in a public place right down to my beauty
routine. I didn’t think anything of my bad beauty habits till I did some
research and discovered eh, I’m actually damaging my body… (I know it’s not
rocket science to discover alright) so to make you all feel better here are my horrid
habits.

I’m ‘that
girl’ that picks off my mascara.

Don’t
judge me. I know you do it too. It is just so highly addictive to pick off your
mascara at the end of a hard day of looking sass. But ladies, like me we must
stop as we are physically ripping out hair that could save our lives in the
shower (aka shampoo in the eye syndrome).

Throw the
dull razor blade Soph.

Yes, yes
I am disgusting. I know. We’re all guilty of hanging onto a razor for far too
long… right? But the habit can actually cause serious issues. Keeping an old blunt
razor can increase your chance of a bacterial or fungal infection. So yes, I
have just spent a lot of money on an endless supply of razors.

I touch
myself 24/7.

Ha bet
that caught your attention. No it’s not what you first thought. I touch my hair
24/7, constantly playing with it, sorting it out and ripping it out as it gets
on my nerves so much. This of course can create spilt ends and in fact build up
oil in your hair. So, to help me defeat this habit I have been tying my hair up
anywhere I can. So while I’m sitting at my desk I whip it up and hope for the
best.

Oh chinny
chin chin

I am a
sucker for propping my elbows on a table and holding my head with my hands on
my chin. Well this is a big no no. Not only is it bad for your posture but it
can cause break outs on your chin and jaw line and well it just doesn’t look
sassy sitting like that.

Biting my
lips.

I bite my
lips on average 104 times a day. It seems to be a facial expression my face
just can’t get enough of. When I’m angry/annoyed/frustrated I frown and bite my
lip as a manor to keep my mouth shut, when I’m horny my first instinct is to
bite my lip (I don’t have a clue why) and when I witness something that makes
me cringe, you guessed it, I bite my bloody lip. This makes my lips incredibly
dry, however, I now apply chap stick every now and again so I can carry on
biting away.

Although
I think I deserve to give myself some credit. I regularly clean my makeup
brushes, wash my bedding, I don’t use fake tanning products and I clean behind
my nails everyday. So I’m not all bad!

Saturday, 11 June 2016

‘Why do you have a moon on your arm?’, ‘that is so random Soph’, ‘what does it even symbolise?’ Since getting my tattoo which is on a place that is rather hard to hide, I can understand people’s confusion. So this is why I choose to get a moon inked on to my arm for the rest of my life. (Just to pre-warn you this is a long piece so you may want to grab a cup of coffee or a snack and don’t worry, I do get to the tattoo point).

In secondary school, I started to realise I was a little different. I couldn’t take anything or anyone seriously, I would say stupid stuff at the wrong time and worst of all I would just blurt stuff out without thinking what so ever and it sometimes upset people and to be honest caused chaos. I was confused because I didn’t want to upset anyone, that wasn’t my intention at all but for some reason, I just couldn’t see when my ‘humour and honesty’ was crossing the line.

I’d receive comments like ‘why did you say that? Are you an idiot?’, ‘Soph just don’t speak’, ‘why do you always take it too far?’ ‘That joke was taken way over the line’. At the beginning of Year 11, a teacher I got on very well with turned to me in a detention and said, ‘Sophie, do you have Aspergers?’. Well, she might as well have slapped me across the face. I laughed it off and honestly didn’t think any thing of it for another year. However in that year, I went more into myself and became quite insecure when it came down to my intelligence.

A year after the first comment and while doing my A Levels a friend suggested I may be on the autism spectrum, then an adult in my life did and soon after another teacher.

If you don’t know what Aspergers is this is a pretty good short summary, “Asperger syndrome is a form ofautism, which is a lifelong disability that affects how a person makes sense of the world, processes information and relates to other people. Autism is often described as a 'spectrum disorder' because the condition affects people in many different ways and to varying degrees.”

So in year 13 just after my A-Level exams and after not having told anyone my curiosity all my life I finally rang my doctor. I was 100% sure I didn’t have Aspergers but I was curious and I suppose a part of me was a little concerned as everything I read sounded like me. I had learned as an older teenager at this point to sit there and just copy others and say things to people like ‘aw it will be okay’ ‘you okay?’ ‘Do you want a hug?’ but it wasn’t me, it was just me doing what I thought was right not what my brain was telling me to say. Deep down someone crying over failing a driving test, crying over an exam, was utterly ridiculous to me and my confusion over people's emotions began to frustrate me.

To sum this ramble up, I went to my GP 8 months ago and she was certain I had Aspergers so I was referred to an autism spectrum specialist and she confirmed that I had Aspergers. I was shocked and felt uncomfortable with it for a while I won’t lie about that. I didn’t tell a soul for half a year. I didn’t want anyone to look down on me or to think I was stupid. But I’m not embarrassed anymore, it doesn’t change me or who I am, I’ve always been me and this ‘label’ doesn’t change that.

So the tattoo and how my moon ties in. My character and outlook on life have always made me super independent. I never needed anyone and I grew to love my own little bubble (seeing as my Aspergers has always put me in my own little world). In the last year, I’ve used that to my advantage and it especially helps me in my career as a journalist. Havinga crescent moon tattoo symbolizes the expulsion of negative energy from your personal or work life. I got rid of the people, habits, or things that I no longer needed that were harmful to me and it also symbolizes growth and creativity. In the last year, my life has changed dramatically, not one aspect is the same as this time last year and I became the person I always wanted to be, confident, independent and truly happy. The moon symbolises I suppose something that won’t make sense to others but it makes perfect sense to me and that is all that matters. So as dorky as it is every time I get a glimpse of the moon it reminds me how happy and content I am and it always lifts me out of a bad mood.

I added a facial profile to the moon to create a sense of whimsy and personify the moon to represent that the moon is in a way, myself. The five stars all represent something difficult I have gone through in life so that every time I look down and see the stars I can remind myself that I can get over anything and do anything I want. Although if any more shit things happen to me I’ll be really pissed off because I don’t want too many stars.

So if anyone actually got through that and read the whole thing then I’m impressed because I certainly would have hit ‘X’ ages ago. This is something quite personal that I still feel awkward about so I’m not ready to do more posts on it yet and you may never see me mention it on my blog ever again. I just couldn’t not mention it for my tattoo meaning because it is the reason I have a slightly creepy moon on my wrist (which yes hurt like a bitch while getting it done).

I suppose my only other message that I would like to get off my chest is this: if you have autism, Aspergers or you’re pretty sure you do it’s not as bad as it sounds. We are normal people, we can get good jobs, some of the top dogs have autism or Aspergers, we are not stupid and in fact, we usually are particularly intelligent and specialise in something in particular. Now if you ask me that is pretty darn cool! Partly because of my Aspergers I’m in my dream career and training to be a journalist because I love it so much and I obsess over my career, my room is constantly neat, I’m always organised and I don’t ever get upset over silly things, I also never feel embarrassed or nervous (to me I make the most of it). Just don’t let it get you down and do not ever feel stupid because of that darn label.

Thursday, 9 June 2016

Does getting under someone really help you get over someone? Ah, what a question. Truthfully and I’ll be brutally honest, everyone is different it may work for you or it may not. But I’m here today to tell you what I learnt from my ‘rebound’ experience.

So, of course, my instinct when I got dumped was to put in the group chat with my friends (aka all hormonal 18-year-old girls at the time) ‘a.s.a.p. I’m gaining weight on this Ben and Jerry’s faster than Bolt does 100 meters.’ To which the first one to see it replied something along the lines of ‘just get under someone at the club then you’ll be fine’.

Naturally for me, I was curious as hell. Would something as simple as sleeping with someone get me over this horrible feeling of heartbreak? Is that all it will take? Right, lets do it.

So I roll up to the club three days later. By roll up to the club I mean I was practically dragged and forced because all I wanted to do was cuddle my dogs and cry to soppy films that made me feel 100 times worse. After an hour of my friends pointing to guys going ‘what about him?’ I made the first move and approached a guy (I know ballsy right?). After an hour of dancing we drunkenly kissed and at that moment I knew sleeping with him would make me feel worse.

Even after a bottle of wine, a jaeger bomb that nearly killed me because I choked so hard on it and three vodkas and cokes my brain still seemed to be working. Kissing him only made me realise the things I would miss from a relationship, it made me feel sick because I’d been single three days after being so loyal for many years, it just felt too weird and was way too soon.

Although I left the club stumbling and crying to the poor taxi driver I had saved some dignity.

A few months later after watching the series Sex and the City three times, every soppy film on Netflix and even making a Tinder account I finally did the deed. I remember it because I went to a Costa Coffee after and wrote the very exact first paragraph of this article and it's been sitting in my phone notes ever since.

I felt two different emotions in that café on that day. A kind of ‘yes Soph you lad’ and a ‘you’re a fool, you dirty hoe’. Oh, and guess what? That’s right, I gained feelings for that guy. Perfect. So now I still wasn’t over my ex and now I had another problem. I’d gained feelings after a one-night stand, what the hell, who does that?

Of course, those feelings lasted a mere two hours and I realised I hadn’t gained feelings for let's call him… Bob. Those feelings of lust were just me missing my ex. I was so certain having sex with someone else would make me instantly move on. But nope, for me at least it made me miss him more, I suppose looking back I missed feeling comfortable with someone.

My point is, don’t get your hopes up that getting underneath someone else will cure heartbreak. Maybe it will, but in all honesty, girl just give yourself time.

Monday, 6 June 2016

Now I never thought a Barbie pink lipstick would be my cup of tea. Resembling a plastic doll that I was obsessed with in the 90's now at 19 years of age was not my goal in life and by no means did I ever think I would fall in love. But, I suppose sometimes you can't help who or what you love.

I have always stayed clear of that famous Barbie pink shade as in my opinion most of them can look over the top and are a little too bold for my liking. However, people change right? While browsing the MAC counter in Selfridges I was eager for a new lipstick and having owned pretty much every single lipstick I asked my male friend to scout through and pick a shade that he thought would suit me. I know, I know I left my bank card and lipstick choice in the hands of a man. When he showed me his choice of Saint Germain I instantly disapproved but kept to my end of the bargain and purchased it to try it out.

Well, I just love it. If I look like a zombie first thing on a cold Monday morning it makes me look more awake, instantly makes me look friendly and approachable and it actually, in my opinion, suits my skin tone. It is one of those shades that I think would suit any skin tone. The amplified finish is easy on the lips and is a nice mixture of slightly matte but still slightly glossy and it is moisturising and comfortable to wear for a long period of time. My only fault in it is that you do have to reapply after eating but no one is perfect.

So I recommend you to try it and also take a man to MAC and just let him pick a shade that he thinks will suit you. You never know, you may be surprised.