A Twist of JP Lime: Tis the Season for Christmas Raps

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With the Holiday Season officially upon us, it’s time to get festive. And is there a better way to kick off the festivities than with some good ol’ fashioned Christmas music? YES! Of course there is! At JP Lime Productions, we love our good ol’ fashioned Christmas caroling, but let’s face it, we do (mostly) everything with a crunchy Hip Hop center ’round these parts. As such, we’ll rephrase our question accordingly.

Is there a better way to kick off the Holiday Season festivities than with some funky fresh CHRISTMAS RAPS!?!?!? Nope! With that in mind, we’ve compiled a by no means exhaustive list of Christmas Hip Hop tracks for you to consider when creating your Holiday Party playlists. Each area of the country has contributed Christmas Raps over the years, thus the regional grouping for the majority of our selections. That said, given our particular love for Old School Hip Hop (see our vast Rap Flashback archives), we’re going to kick things off with a Christmas quartet from the 80s.

Old School 80s

Our 80s selection features fun, couplet heavy lyrics that in true 80s Rap fashion are easy to rap along to. They’re also very much in the spirit of Christmas, with references to food & drink, gift-giving (and wanting), family & friends, and general Holiday cheer acting as common themes throughout the tracks.

We were all in the mood so we had a little foodAnd a joke, and a smoke, and a little bit of wineWhen I thought I heard a hoof on the top of the roofCould it be or was it me? I was feeling super fineSo I went to your attic where I thought heard the staticOn the chance that the prance was somebody breaking inBut the noise on the top was a reindeer clop

Treacherous Three & Doug E. Fresh — “Xmas Rap”

Ho Ho Ho lyric (Kool Moe Dee):

Ho Ho HoOpen up ya doI’m Santa Claus and guess what y’allI got something to showI came to bring some Christmas SpiritI got a big bag now guess what’s in itSomething for the rich and something for the po’So Merry Christmas and ho ho ho

Juice Crew All-Starrs — “Cold Chillin’ Christmas”

Ho Ho Ho lyric (Roxanne Shante):

Now I’ve been a good girl all year roundAnd this is what I want from the people are downNow I am mainly speaking’ ’bout my family and friendsI want a BMW, a Jaguar, or a Benz It really doesn’t matter the expense of the giftCause being’ around I’m such a spiritual upliftTo think about all year when we’re illin’To get together and just be Cold Chillin’

Snoop Dogg employs that laid-back, lazy flow we’ve loved since the mid-90s to deliver a very California Christmas jingle.

Ho Ho Ho lyric (Snoop Dogg):

And all I want for Christmas is my 6-4 ChevroletAnd a granddaughter for her grandmother BeverlyAin’t that something? Nah, ain’t that nothingHow it’s Christmas time and my rhyme’s steady bumpin’Everybody happy, hair still nappyGonna steal a gift for my old grandpappyCatch me giving out turkeys at the church-houseDon’t try to work me, just stand in the line and everything gon’ be fineHolla at ya folks, boy, it’s goin’ downAin’t no help from no elves, just Tha Dogg Pound

Eazy E — “Merry Muthaphu**in Christmas”

Many of Eazy’s most memorable tracks (see “Gimme That Nut” & “I’d Rather Fu*k You) featured, err, colorful encounters with the ladies, mildly put… As such, it should be no surprise that his Christmas jingle follows suit; a Holiday pimp suit as a matter of fact. Note Eazy’s choice lyrics are melody-rapped to the tune of Jingle Bells.

Ho Ho Ho lyric:

Merry muthafu**in’ Chrismas and a ho ho ho!While I’m ridin’ that cot under the missle toeNow dashin’ through the snowIn a candy right top 6-4Over the hills I goLaughin’ at this hoeNuts on rich and ringsMakin’ me feel rightOh what fun it is to knowThat I’m gonna get this pu$$y tonight

New York

DMX — “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer”

Rapped to the melody of the original, DMX softens his growl-driven voice and add some choice, trademark adlibs to breathe new life into a Christmas classic.

Ho Ho Ho lyric:

Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say (c’mon!) Rudolph with your nose so bright Won’t you ride my sleigh tonight? Then all the reindeer loved him As they shouted out with glee Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer You’ll go down in history forever You’ll go down in history forever You’ll go down in history (WHAT!!!)

Jim Jones ft. J.R. Writer & Stack Bundles — “Ballin’ on Xmas”

Jim Jones flips the beat to Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis” and provide urban, street-oriented imagery in this Christmas tale. What’s Christmas like in the mean streets of NY? Jones has the answers.

Ho Ho Ho lyric (Jim Jones):

In all my years standing on one hundred twelfthNever seen Santa, no elvesSeen a couple mans go to jailTrying to get Christmas money off gram salesAnd that ain’t work out (it’s a shame)They say Santa know you good or you badGotta make an exception — we in the hood, living fastThe cash that we get, I admit it’s kind of fastBut we gotta pay the rent, put some clothes on our ass

Ghostface Killah — “Ghostace Killah Xmas”

In my research for this post, I was glad to come across this track. Not only is it a Christmas track, it kinda bumps. It’s got an upbeat, Swizz Beatz sounding type beat (wasn’t able to confirm the actual producer on the track), and in typical Ghostface fashion, he murders it. Supreme lyricism and story-telling are in play as Ghostface adds a little Wu-Tang flavor to the Holidays.

Ho Ho Ho lyric:

Smell the pine trees in the air, sleigh bells are ringingToy stores are out of control, and kids singingThat night before Christmas, dashing through the snowRudolph the Reindeer, red nose that glowIt’s all about the candy canes and Christmas listNorth Pole and that chubby jolly old Saint NickThe little elves getting busy, in Santa workshopAnd how gingerbread men keep they buttons on topWooden soldiers and chestnuts, roasting like marshmallowsGoodfellas, chocolate pudding pops and Jell-O’sIt’s the gift, the cookies and milk on the mantleThe mistletoe, that scent from that peppermint candlesThat warm French vanilla, mean coat with zippersBear skin robe dragon with Versace slippersAround the fireplace we breathe, shirts are short sleaveWe stayin’ up all night on Christmas Eve

The Dirty South

Outkast’s Christmas remake of their classic, “Player’s Ball”, and Ying Yang Twins’ “Deck da Club’ provide us two different, albeit very true to the South, flavors. Outkast’s smoothed, out mellow anthem contrasts Ying Yang’s up-tempo, club-friendly crunk approach, but both are in the spirit of the Holidays. Note the Ying Yang lyric is sung to the melody of the original Deck The Halls.

Outkast — “Player’s Ball (Christmas Version)”

Ho Ho Ho lyric:

All the players came.. from far and wideWearing afros and braids, kickin’ them gangsta ridesNow I’m here to tell ya.. there’s a better dayWhen the player’s ball is happenin’, on Christmas Day

Ying Yang Twins — “Deck da Club”

Ho Ho Ho lyric:

Deck da club with piles of moneyfalalala lala la laShe’ll make you think that she’s your honeyfalalala lala la la

Boston

Mr. Lif — “Santa’s Got a Muthafuckin’ Uzi”

Backed by a drum line loosely reminiscent of LL Cool J’s “It’s Jinglin’ Baby”, a fitting trait given it’s Jingle Bells season, and driven by Mr. Lif’s vivid storytelling, the Boston emcee flips the script on this track, as he approaches it from the standpoint of a shady Santa Clause robbing him at Christmas. What ensues is a both brilliant and hilarious tale of a standoff between Santa’s thugs and Lif’s boys, namely Perceptionists’ bandmates, Akrobatik and Fakst One.

Ho Ho Ho lyric:

I’ve never seen a house so fly and plush Man Santa’s living large with all types of stuff Big screen TV’s DVD’s Flicks of him down at Fenway with David Ortiz Acting like he’s Boston Fronting the role I took a look over at Ak “Yeah this bitch gotta go” Santa busted through the door with Bush an Cheney I ducked behind the couch because those hoes tried to spray me We’re all up in this mission with our 9mm’s and shit But who knew Santa was packing a banana clip?!

Both the Holidays and music are good for the soul, so when the two join forces it makes for great times and special moments. We hope you’ve enjoyed our Christmas Rap playlist as much as we’ve enjoyed putting it together for you and wish you all a Happy Holiday Season. Ho ho ho!