Denise Richards: I can’t support my children without reality TV – not counting 100G/month I bleed from Charlie Sheen

Denise Richards is doing the best she can to promote her new reality show Denise Richards: It’s Complicated but not really, I mean, c’mon, I’m Denise Richards. I once ate a button – yesterday. She’s been on Larry King Live, The Today Show and The View (video after the jump) and has resorted to telling people she can’t support her children unless she does the show. Interesting, considering Charlie Sheen pays her $52,000 a month in child support – that cheap bastard! But that’s not all. There’s alimony! Yay, marriage rocks. Page Six has the rundown:

“Denise gets $52,000 a month tax-free in child support,” a Sheen insider fumed. “Most people in America can figure out how to live on that, but Denise can’t?”
In addition to the child support, Richards got $60,000 a month (also tax-free) for two years in alimony – adding up to a whopping $1.44 million. Richards also gets a chunk of Sheen’s hot sitcom, “Two and a Half Men,” which “eventually will net her up to $25 million,” the source said.

In Dr. Christmas Jones’ defense, people don’t know hard it is to live with that kind of money. I mean, everyday you’re faced with the decision to either A.) bathe in a tub full of rare African blood diamonds or B.) hunt man – the most dangerous game of them all. These are tough choices that, Thank God, I don’t ever have to worry about while I’m siphoning gas out of The Geekologie Writer’s car. Ha ha, tastes like apple giraffe. I swallowed a little. JUMANJI!