Rule #1. IT IS NEVER THE GIRL’S FAULT.
Rule #2. EVER.

[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]Before we get all dramatic, I had a minor family issue to tend to this am, involving my cousin. Explained the story to both parentals, who immediately went to text her. My dad suggested that the subject of the dilemma “GROW A PAIR” and that should be the response my mom sends. “What does this mean? “Grow a pair?” “OH SUZY, GROW A PAIR! YOU KNOW? After my father just kept repeating the same phrase over and over in various tones, I was left with no choice but to step in. ENOUGH HERBERT! SHE CLEARLY is too foreign to understand what the fuck you mean! Please just explain it rather than give us both a headache. Finally, he does explain..”YOU KNOW, GROW A PAIR OF BALLS”…OH yes I know that…”GROW A PAIR OF BALLS, YA”…NO. Like just not even close SUSAN, YOU HAD NO IDEA. She just didn’t even sord of make it there. The text was sent though.. and we have finally moved on. Now back to it never being the girls fault. First and foremost: BITCHES BE THIRSTY, LIKE GATORADE QUENCHING THIRSTY. Nobody wants to see anybody happy, and everybody likes to test the limits to see how serious anything that they DON’T HAVE IS. It is up to your boyfriend to show you the respect you deserve or don’t deserve. When you, as somebody’s girlfriend are decorating your boyfriends apartment, making him parfaits, or doing his laundry for a year– OR JUST BLOWING HIM. IT IS UP TO HIM TO BE HONEST WITH YOU- AND NOT WALK INTO NOBU WITH THE ONE BITCH HE CLAIMS TO NOT KNOW ANYMORE. Now not all of us can be this lucky. An event like this is truly a blessing in disguise. To have an idea about your partner for months and months, only to be manipulated out of the actual situation at hand is rough. BUT THEN ONE RANDOM SUNDAY NIGHT comes along and a craving for sashimi, you hit the jackpot. True all your worst fears come true but you’re finally able to see clearly and walk away from whatever bullshit you have been dealing with.

On another note- I did have a very long facial today, only to find out how drunk my esthetician was the night before. ”No Morgan, drunk to the point that I farted and threw up at the same time and then tried to blow him” IN CASE YOU JUST NEEDED YOUR WEDNESDAY night to get as real as it just did.

4Comments

J90210 •

Yesss! Omg, i totally agree with you. This might be weird to be commenting on such a late post BUT, girl.. i love reading your blog & this post spoke to me like never before! I’ts NEVER the girls fault!

this blog, it’s “writer” and all her friends are a waste of space and oxygen, i’d love for them to come walk a mile in MY shoes, and btw, morgan, please tell dorothy “enuf with the whiny-ass valley girl voice, k?”

Here’s an idea, if you don’t like her blog…then don’t read it, or comment on it! And if you don’t like the show…then don’t watch the show! Free life advice for “someone living in the real world”, you’re welcome!