Author
Topic: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!) (Read 16166 times)

Hello everyone. I figure I would bump this thread, because I have come to the realization that this whole fanfic writing thing was not just a random one time deal, so I was wondering if anyone could help me and beta my stories, or possible point me in the right direction to find one. I would appreciate any feedback on this subject because I wish to improve my wiiting so others could enjoy them.

[17:57] Super Uke : Be better to enlongate some sentences like, "Miyabi stretched and yawned, rolling in the bed she lied on.."

[17:57] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ ( ¯ロ¯ );;: And obvious xD

[17:59] Super Uke : in honesty i can't really read this..it's one of those stroies I avoid to read after skimming the first couple of paragraph..I think it's mostly due to that whole H!P/HP cross over thing..

[18:00] Super Uke : but i don't know, like the setting can be used but..like any mention of the harry potter characters should be subtle like..'there was a great wizard once who saved us all, he was once called the boy who lived' or something like that

[18:01] Super Uke : the HP char. actually interacting with H!P..is hard to grasp and see in my head lol

[18:01] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ ( ¯ロ¯ );;: Yes... xD

[18:01] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ ( ¯ロ¯ );;: But let's ignore that and just focus on the style xD

[18:02] Super Uke : well, the style is nice, looks like a lot of work has been put into it..just..not enough work like for one as mentioned several times, the story is subjective..

[18:08] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ ( ¯ロ¯ );;: You're trying to make your reader dive into your world with only the help of words and no images

[18:08] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ ( ¯ロ¯ );;: So you HAVE to be able to have a sense of your world in your words

[18:09] Super Uke : i think the script like format there is good to draft out how you want your story to go and when you start to revise it, you try to find words that'll make readers delve into your imagination and see what you see

[18:09] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ ( ¯ロ¯ );;: If you can't get your world out of the words you wrote, then keep trying until you do

[18:10] Super Uke : lol

[18:10] Super Uke : its a unique idea no doubt

[18:11] Super Uke : but the format of it doesn't help much for the reader to be interested and leave comments saying 'woah! i hope this isn't the end ' or blahblahblah

[18:12] Super Uke : i think, it's best to start this story over in a less script like format..and less subjectiveness in there...try to find words that convey your world, if at first you don't succeed..try, try again.

[18:12] Super Uke : or however that saying goes =w=

[18:13] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ ( ¯ロ¯ );;: Yeah xD

[18:13] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ ( ¯ロ¯ );;: You want us readers to see your world? Let us see your world then xD

[18:13] Super Uke : ^ god you're so cheesy and lame >_>

[18:13] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ ( ¯ロ¯ );;: Just not like what you are doing, it's a script of your world xD

[18:13] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ ( ¯ロ¯ );;: Of course xD

[18:14] Super Uke : okay next story

[18:15] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ ( ¯ロ¯ );;: Hold it xD

[18:15] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ ( ¯ロ¯ );;: No ending messages? xD

[18:15] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ ( ¯ロ¯ );;: Wait, I was the one who gave those ending messages o_O

I know I PM'd Yuu-chan about this a while back but I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a peer review and I'll be the martyr for this purpose, feel free to take it on, you can PM or post it here if your please.