Kody and Meri are enjoying a tropical getaway, but the tears begin to fall when conversation switches to the topic of Kody’s fourth wife Robyn’s offer to serve as their surrogate.

“This freaks me out to go through all that again, and I don’t know if I wanna do that at this point in my life,” Meri says. “I’m feel like I’m too young to [go through having an] empty nest, but I’m too old to start a family.”

“It’s OK: Whatever you wanna do,” Kody tells her, reassuringly.

Meri, clearly emotional, then says, “This is stupid, this is stupid … I don’t know what I want.”

The heart-wrenching episode airs this Sunday, June 16, at 9 p.m. E.S.T. on TLC, followed by a special called Brown Family Confessions at 9:30. Regarding the special, the network promises that “all topics are up for grabs and you’ll see their brutally honest and unrehearsed responses.”