Sunday, 3 June 2012

Sunday Roundup

Hello!

I haven't done one of these for a little while because of illness/training/laziness really, but I thought I'd do one today to partially explain why I've not been blogging very frequently recently (and also to mention that my giveaway closes tomorrow!! This has come round so quickly, I can't believe it's June already!)

Pros:

I had a job interview for Bare Minerals on Friday. I donned my black dress with a nice top and popped on some heels so I would feel super classy, and then had to keep reminding myself to make eye contact! Haha! I don't know if it's just me, but I really hate making intense eye contact when talking to....well....pretty much anyone. Even if I've known the person for years I still tend to talk to a "third person" when talking about stuff. It's weird right? Anyway, I think the interview went well, but I can never really be sure. I do like my job at Benefit but the Bare Minerals one is working with more natural products (no allergic reactions for me hopefully!), is more hours and therefore more money but I'd also be the counter manager which means I'd have more responsibility and it'll look good on my CV too! I'll let you guys know if I get the job or not, hopefully I'll know by mid-week (I hate waiting as I always convince myself I've not got the job! At least Benefit told me on the day! - Although I had also convinced myself that I hadn't got that job either...)

I got to see one of my friends from Ann Summers, who I haven't seen in about 3 months due to work conflicts, last Sunday. It was so good to catch up with her! We had a BBQ because why waste the good weather right? And the food was super yummy and it was just a really nice time! Hopefully it won't be another 3 months before I see her again!

I got a WOW at work (this is a thing that Debenhams do where you give customers a bit of paper with a website on and your name and they can go and (hopefully) give positive feedback on their experience) It's not been put up on the board yet so I'm not sure who sent it or what it actually says but I think it may be from a lady who had her wedding make-up trial done by me. Her bridesmaids were doing the make-up on the day, so I took them through everything step-by-step and encouraged them to take pictures so they could refer back if they wanted to. They were all so lovely and she looked really beautiful with subtle, natural looking make-up but with slightly sparkly eyeshadow (not to sound big headed or anything! Haha!) I love giving positive feedback on great sales assistants because I know how nice it is when you get positive customer feedback. I know it sounds weird but it can really give you a bit of oomph back for your job if you're having a bad week or something! Also it's always nice for it to come via big managers so that you can know that they now know you are good at your job! Haha! My manager also had a WOW last week which just said about her "great pink hair" She wasn't quite sure how to take that as that's not really job related, but every little counts right? Haha!

I sold a few bits via my blogsale and eBay (thank you to anyone who brought something!) which means that I have some Paypal (monopoly) money floating about. This was really good as I really did need to get some work shoes and Rocket Dog are having a 60% off sale with the code Jubilee60 (I think) and as they take Paypal (!!) I decided to get these for work. They came to £10 and had free p&p too! I'm excited to try them! I'm going to go through my stuff this evening/tomorrow ad get stuff on eBay again as it's free listing this weekend and I need to build a little nest egg to get some new furniture...

Cons:

I've had a real Debbie Downer of a week to be honest. I should pre-warn you that this con is a real downer...also contains feelings - I'm not big on talking about my feelings at all so this may be a bit of an over share! On Monday we got some bad family news that one of my Uncles had killed himself. I'll be honest, I didn't really know that guy but it's always a tough one to deal with, mainly because of other family members reactions. Plus I was worried about my Grandad as he's 78 and was driving from Chepstow up to Yorkshire by himself and he was obviously upset. Cue Monday (my day off) not exactly being as productive as I'd planned it to be... The death of my Uncle was also on the 17th anniversary of my other (favourite) Uncle's suicide....classic timing. Honestly, it was just a really really crap start to the week! I've been having some anxiety about it all as well because last time this sort of thing happened, my Granny went into a coma and died 6 months later and my Mum's best friend died of cancer in between, also my Dad was a massive jerk and told me to "stop crying, it's pathetic" at a funeral....and despite being very aware that this exact chain of events isn't going to actually happen, I'm still getting really weirdly nervous....like something is just waiting round the corner to mess things up more! Also my Grandad's partner told my Mum that us kids shouldn't have kids of our own in case we pass our depression on. Which seems like a valid reason right? I'm mean it's not like cancer or heart disease or anything like that is hereditary... Honestly, she can really say things without thinking them through sometimes! Anyway, this has kind of infuenced my week and therefore I've been pretty down all week (I don't want this to feel like a "oh woes me" kind of thing...I'm not a huge fan of recieving sympathy but hey, it's my blog and if I fancy using it as a little vent station then that's ok!)

Talking of vent station....Mr Who Knows came over on Thursday. We had a really nice time - I did a little cry (and got angry at myself for crying....it's a thing and I know it's weird but see the Dad comment above and it makes a little more sense....I mean, I was 7 at the time!) he told me some really personal stuff that was really nice to hear because he never really shares anything with me (or most people I don't think) Anyway, it was lovely and felt really nice and comforting and the whole "he's actually shared some form of feelings with me" just felt like I was being trusted, which felt really really good. But then as he left I made some off the cuff comment when he was talking about his jobs for Friday, about how his work sounded dull (because it does - it's computer stuff and that just sounds dull to me) which is something I've said to many friends and have had said to me by many friends and he just started being a bit of a dick frankly. I was tired, confused, upset and..well...a little drunk too...and all these feelings that have been building up over the past 6 months (where we're suppose to be friends but we're not at all) sort of....verbally exploded out of me.... He said something about me not being supportive and I may have yelled "I'm not your fucking girlfriend!" I'm a real classy lady! Haha! Anyway, long story short, I told him to get out of my house (maybe with some f-bombs thrown in there...) and, despite him telling me that I was "doing that thing you do"...well...he still left, so whatever. Anyway, I sent a text the next day admitting I'd been a dick, but not really apologising because, well I feel it was justified as we're not dating so I'm not there to be some supportive girlfriend type. It was just maybe not quite how I would've said things in an ideal world....but now he's not talking to me, which is classic Who Knows behaviour. This bums me out because I enjoy his company (most of the time anyway) and he is one of my friends and he knows things about me that I haven't told anyone, because, despite overwhelming evidence pointing to the fact that I probably shouldn't, I do in fact trust him. I think what bums me out more though is I told him how utterly down I am and how I've been thinking about things that I don't wish to talk about to anyone really, and it bums me out that he hasn't even vaguely checked that I'm ok. I've had arguments with friends before where we've both said dickish things, but if someone is really down, I've still done the "you've been a dick to me but are you ok?" because if you actually care about someone then it doesn't matter how much of a dick they've been, you still care surely? Anyway, I guess I'll leave it and see what happens. If he doesn't contact me again, well.....it'll suck but it's not like I haven't been preparing myself for this for quite a while anyway.

So there are my few pros and then Debbie Downer cons. Sorry for using my blog as a little venting outlet centre but sometimes you just have to have a little rant at a computer screen to feel a little better! I hope this hasn't bummed anyone out too much (or put you off my blog at all! Little review coming tomorrow I promise!) How have you all been? Good week for all of you I hope!

3 comments:

Hey, I just found your blog and added you. I was just going through a few of your posts and read this. I also suffer from depression myself, so you're not alone. :) It's good that you're venting to someone at least, because it really does help. I'm proud to see what courage you have to actually write all of that down, I really struggle to express my feelings these days sadly. It sounds like you and your family have been through a really terrible time, so I truly hope things get better :)

Well I just wanted to comment and say hi, one depressed beauty blogger to another :) (totally inappropriate sorry!)

Aw, thanks for the lovely (and not at all inappropriate!) comment! It's always nice to know that you're not alone :) (even if it is in a not too great situation...) I always worry that my venting comes across as a bit attention seeking or something :s but it's nice to have a little vent now and then...even if it is to the internet as a general whole...

Thank you for your kind words, it's always nice to have a little positive lift from someone! I also struggle quite a lot with actually using my words to express my feelings most of the time but I find writing them down is slightly helpful. If you ever want to vent to a fellow depressed beauty blogger feel free to give me an shout via email if you want :)

Also never apologise to me for being hilariously inappropriate! That's my kind of humour :) (also possibly the reason I'm not allowed at funerals anymore...Haha!) xxx

Oh don't worry, your venting isn't attention seeking at all (I'm pretty sure that's my problem too! I feel like people are just going to think I'm trying to get attention) Same goes for you, if you need to vent you can always send me an email too :)