There were commercials years ago that asked if we weren't glad we used a certain soap and if we didn't wish that everybody did. The commercials always showed lots of people crammed into tight spaces -- buses, subways, etc. -- trying to avoid that one guy giving off an offensive human odor.

Human smells are one thing, but a recent epidemic of anthropomorphism has made it necessary for us to avoid animal smells, too. While jammed tight in a crowd near the start of the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure last week, I turned my head left and was startled to find a dog panting in my face. A man of about my height was holding the medium-sized dog over his shoulder -- as if it were a baby being burped.

I felt sorry for the dog: With four legs of its own, it was designed to walk. I felt sorry for myself: encountering dog breath that high up.

I think I'm more flexible than my father. He grew up on a farm and is a strong advocate of the separation of people and pets. People live inside the house. Pets live outside. Only one group gets treated like humans, and it's not the group whose members lick themselves or roll around in filth.

When I had a dog, she stayed inside with me, but I didn't walk her around with her head on my shoulder and put other bipeds in danger of smelling her breath. I also had a healthy respect for her ambulatory abilities. Having half as many legs as she had, it never occurred to me that I should be carrying her around.

Jarvis DeBerry is an editorial writer. His e-mail is jdeberry@timespicayune.com.