Thank you for using the Jiskha Homework Help forum. I'm printing this out so I can use a larger font to see it better. I'll be back as soon as I've proofread it. Hopefully that will be soon enough for you.

Because there is no English to tell me what you were trying to say, I'm not sure in every instance how to correct some sections. Were the "rules" of this essay that you must use the Conditional? Otherwise it seems a bit awkward in some parts. Here are some things to note: