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And which team is on the bottom of the list? Oh, the same team many picked to unseat NWE's perennial championship status. It's not that teams with the most attempts are always on top, far from it. It happens that NWE is only three rungs up, but they have the most prolific passer in the NFL today. And that's my last rub on Laser, God rest his soul.

If you're still reading any of this, that's good cause I'm still writing. I think the Fins pass on about 67% of the downs, and that's plain ridiculous considering R/T is no brain surgeon either. So who is Z/T?

U.S. Major Zach Taylor

"Old Zach" as he was affectionately called by his troops was another in a long line of military leaders whose popularity propelled them to the presidency. Best known as the hero of the Mexican War, in which he annihilated Mexican Pres. Santa Anna's army of 20,000 men with 5,000 troops at Buena Vista. Taylor opposed the spread of slavery to the territories. He was recruited by the Whig Party as their nominee in the 1848 presidential election. In the election Taylor defeated the Democratic nominee, became the first U.S. president never to hold any prior office.

-His wife Marge prophetically predicted that the presidency would kill Zach. While attending a Fourth of July celebration at the Washington Monument, Zach ate some sour milk and cherries - which - apparently contributed to severe gastroenteritis from which he died two days later.

Pres. Taylor however, is not related in any way to Fins' new O/C and former QB Coach Zach Taylor, though the latter does have a well-known relative in the N.F.L.. He is married to Sarah Sherman, daughter of former Dolphins and Eagles O/C Mike Sherman. And as you may have suspected, Zach previously served as Assistant Coach under Sherman at Texas A&M, when, ironically, R/T was their QB. In a presser on Monday, Taylor said that he still speaks to Sherman weekly for advice.

Despite being a record-breaking prep quarterback, Taylor was not heavily recruited out of high school. He started his college career redshirting at Wake Forest and serving as a backup the following season.

The following year he transferred to Butler Community College in Kansas, where he had a breakout season, earning second-team All-American honors. From there, he made the leap to Nebraska, where he was the starter for two seasons and led the Huskers to an Alamo Bowl win in 2005 and the Big 12 Championship Game the following year. His final season, Taylor threw for 2,789 yards and 24 touchdowns and was named the Big 12’s offensive player of the year.

Taylor hoped to make it in the pros but went in as a U/D F.A. with the Bucs in 2007 and was cut during preseason.

Even besides Mike Sherman, Taylor’s own family is well connected to the sport. His younger brother Press Taylor was QB at Marshall and currently serves as the offensive Q/C coach for the Eagles. Their father Sherwood Taylor was a DB who played for Barry Switzer at Oklahoma in the late '70s.