Friday, November 9, 2012

A Stress Free Season ~ Laughter is the Best Medicine

A week ago Mr. Décor had been on another long business trip. I was at home dealing with scorpions, sassy kids (yep mine) a broken kitchen disposal, a shower faucet that didn’t work, trying to help five cub scouts complete their Arrow of Light requirements and needing to order the Fashionista’s college graduation announcements like yesterday. A good friend was very sick and my bff had suffered the loss of a family member. Stress meter: a perfect 10.

To top it off according to my personal calendar I needed to have 50% of my holiday gift buying done. I hadn’t even started.

I called my Grandma Jingles (Ingalls) and asked “Grandma, Christmas will soon be here and I’m making a list. Any ideas of what you would like?”

Now what I love about Grandma Jingles is that she doesn’t beat around the bush and say things like “Oh you don’t have to get me anything.” Which results in me spending 80 hours trying to find something when all she really wants is say a cheese grater.

Nope, Grandma Jingles, an avid reader who favors such writers as James Herriot (All Things Great and Small) and Jan Karon (The Mitford Series) says,

“Well, I just finished the last book in a series that I was reading. I need something new. I have seen several newspaper articles about this 50 Shades of Grey, get me that.”

It was a good thing I wasn’t actually drinking anything because I choked, coughed, stammered and blushed.

“Grandma, I am NOT buying you the 50 Shades of Grey books for Christmas!”

Inquisitive she said, “Oh, why not?”

“Grandma, they are complete rubbish for a 90 year old Christian woman with a heart condition!”

“Oh I see”, she said. (She’s a smart cookie.)

“Well then, she continued, how about a nice sweater vest. With pockets.”

I replied, “I’m on it Grandma. Call you Sunday.” Then I hung up the phone.

“

My 90 year old grandmother wanted me to buy her literary soft porn for Christmas.

I doubled over as laughter ripped through me like a freight train. Tears streamed out of my eyes, there was snorting and even the potential for pants wetting.

Hope your friends are doing OK. You are such a good friend.And ya' gotta' LOVE grandmas! :) My maternal grandmother would have asked for the same thing, I am sure, and laughed out loud, holding her hand over her mouth while she laughed. Be sure and find Grandma J a good book of some sort to read to tuck into her vest pocket! :)And BTW, don't wear yourself out doing all that work! You just moved into your new home and painted and polished every nook and cranny before you did so slow down and enjoy the season.p.s. I would be wearing workboots around the house all the time if there was any chance of a scorpion being anywhere in it. Stay safe!

LOL! She's a corker {as my grandmother used to say}, Laura! Those are the best. Those simple, everyday things that make you laugh then continue to bring a smile to your face. It definitely does relax me when I think of those moments. Recent ones usually involve my granddaughter because she is at an age where she is talking more and, well, she always delights me.

This reminded me of a day I spent with my family at an expo at the AC Convention Center. It was very crowded and a VERY windy day in March. We parked blocks away. My Gram was with us.(She was very small.) To prevent children and Gram from blowing away we each had a hold of two. At one point Gram was holding onto a street light post and her fuzzy little white cap blew into the busy road. A few cars and a truck drove over it before I was able to scoop it up and hand it back to her. Safely in the car, my Gram pulled the cap back on her head (complete with tire tracks) and said: That was such a sin to see that poor cat get run over. :/

That is hilarious! I am glad that you cautioned you against those books -- they are rubbish from what I have read and heard about them. But I think both of my grandmothers might have enjoyed them (!). My paternal grandmother passed away years ago at only 73, and she was full of vim and vinegar! My maternal grandmother, while more, um, refined (? by some standards), was a great reader, and loved to read all sorts of books. She passed Aug. '11, just one month shy of her 91st birthday. And the last thing I gave her was a knitted shawl. Which I doubt she used. She probably thought it would make her look like an old lady.

Just last night when my 73 year old mother asked my daughter's adult male "friend" while we all played Phase 10, "What's it to you what phase I'm on?!" LOL Everyone laughed hilariously. {Had to be there!}

Your story about your Grandma is so funny! I'm a Librarian and you would be suprised at how many little old ladies have come in, leaned over the counter and asked for "Fifty Shades of Grey" and said "don't tell anyone I'm reading it"!!Knocked my socks off!! :-)Dorothy