Truth Leads to Disasters

This is an HONEST man . . .

he could have had a cold drink for free from the "honor stand," in background, but chose to spend $1.00 to buy the same drink from the machine to the right.

Truthfull speaking

An old saying I happen to remember goes something like this: "nobody loves a liar and a truthful person is hated even worse."

This is a true saying if you stop to think about it.

When was the last time that you caught someone, maybe a close friend, in an out-and-out lie? Pretty rough scene, right? Lots of swearing, hands raised in the air to prove "your" accusations were wrong, and when the now-desperate lying was over, although you forgave the transgressor of the lie that hurt you, you could never look at them the same way. Ever.

That's the tough thing about lying. Either you are a good liar, or you suck at it. That's it. Plain and simple. You cannot be "kinda good" if you are planning an elaborate lie. You have to be able to tell the lie so convincing that even the late acting legend, Marlon Brando would be fooled. So you see, lying is not a weak person's arena.

I wish I could recall a counter-old saying about telling the truth. The only truth-related remark I can tell you is, "ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free," and the one who coined that phrase should know. It was Jesus who said this.

And He is right of course. Telling the truth is very liberating. Refreshing if you must go that far. But when we were children, didn't we play the "Adam and The Forbidden Fruit Game," when we were accused of a wrong, we instantly let Adam, husband of Eve, and his nature kick-in and start weaving a colorful-yet-believable lie in order to keep our behind's from being beaten? I did. Many times, and when I became an adult, I felt bad.

I can remember like it was yesterday, my dad telling me this statement, word-for-word, "if you (meaning "me") will just tell me (meaning "him") the truth, things will go easier for you, Kenny."

Yeah, dad. I didn't realize that I came into the world with "sucker" tattooed on my forehead.I took him up on his advice. Once. I was with my buddies hanging-out in downtown Hamilton, Alabama, which is really the entire town, and time got away from me as it does to most teenager's. I was due back home at midnight, but made it home at 12:45 a.m. Heyu, 45 minutes isn't that big of a deal. The world didn't come to an end.

But when I walked into the living room, I knew that dad was upset. And somewhat angry for he had chain-smoked several Winston cigarettes. "Why the coming in late, Kenny? Come on. Be truthful," he said hoping that I would insult his intelligence by telling one of my "hide-saving" lies.But I didn't. "some buddies and I were sitting around talking and honestly, I forgot what time it was. And dad, that is "the" truth," I said with evident-confidence.

"Well, tell ya' what, buddy," dad began. "for the next two weeks, you are grounded. No car. No friends and no talking to them on the phone," he added with the style of a proverbial "hanging judge" in those stereotypical southern-based films.

"But, dad," I stuttered. "you told me to tell the truth and things would go easier for me. Didn't you say that?" I argued with almost the skill and suave style as Perry Mason.

"well, Kenny, I believe you "were" telling the truth, but that doesn't excuse you for being 45 minutes late," he said with case won. Papers signed. Hands shook and court room cleared.

I never and I do mean never, figured out his logic for this punishment. After tell me if "I" told him the truth. Someday when I see him in Glory, I want to see what I missed in this one-sided decision."That was "my" "Truthful Disaster."

Here are more "Truthful Disasters," that I'm sure that you will not only agree with, but relate to.

Can you imagine the anger, hatred and down-right resentment from a guy's hot, sexy girlfriend or wife if she asks him . . .

"honey, does this dress make my butt look big?" And the doofus answers, "you bet! You need a "wide load," sign to wear on your rump."

"do you think that waitress is sexy?" And the truthful-but-stupid man says, "are you kidding? I would trade you in right now just for a one-night stand with her."

"do you ever think of me when we are making love?" And another dork replies, "not really, dear. I love to fantasize about "Jo," the biker gal I saw last night on BRAVO."

"why are you late, "Bob?" Cold-hearted, truth-telling "Bob," instantly says without batting an eye, "I was with the guys in "Jams Gentleman's Club and you know what? This stripper, now what was her name? "Sally Fire," yeah, that was it. She and I got to talking about how neat it would be to have a quick-affair and tell you later."

"is my cooking really that bad?" The soon-to-be-starving hubby replies while he spits out a bite of her mashed potatoes, "bad? If this food was even "bad," I'd be happy. The convicts on "Death Row," eat better than this."

And can you imagine the anger, hatred and down-right resentment from a man or boyfriend when he asks his hot, sexy girlfriend or wife . . .

"am I your "best" lover?" And the honest-to-God female says,"best? Did you say "best?" I'd rate you on a scale of one to ten around a seven. "Mario, the assistant landscaper takes the number one slot with no problem."

"do you purposely dress sexy for me?" The never-lying woman states, "are you serious? I dress for "Jimmy," the beat cop who sees me drive up to my office parking lot everyday."

"when we are making love, what are you thinking about?" The loyal-to-the-truth female replies, "how I wish I were in Key West with my girlfriends drinking margarita's and chasing wild, sexy single college guys."

"why were you late three nights last week, working over?" Once again our easy-to-tell-the-truth woman answers, "working over? You must be the biggest clod on our block! I was having drinks with my boss, "Tom," who is recently-divorced and needs a woman to console him." "working over, that's a good laugh."

"had you rather spend a romantic weekend with me or Brad Pitt?" Without hesitation, the happy-to-be-honest lady replies, "Easy answer. Brad Pitt, of course. There is no way that "you" will ever be in his league."

I was fair. I presented five situations for both a man and a woman. And as you finish reading this, wouldn't you agree truthfully that . . .

"this is by far "the best," hub you have read in the last four days?"

This (will be) an HONEST woman . . .

simply because she is getting married. Someone explain the old saying that married girls use, "he made an honest woman out of me." Was she shady and dishonest when she was single?

Comments 22 comments

No! LOL...Kenneth...I think you just made a Nun...that's "NONE" out of me! Yikes.

Funny to the nth degree but...truthfully speaking...well...uh..

I think I'll just have to take the 5th!

Love it, Kenneth. I just hope it isn't so...hahahaha!!

Suzie HQ 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

Your first comment Ken!! Well, my friend another CRACKER from you (honest!!) What a laugh I had, remembering me and my dad with the late excuses! lol

You make me smile, laugh and totally glad you are a friend here! Awesome one buddy!!

Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

Ken, I loved this one. I am a very honest person by nature too and was also taught my dear old dad the same as yours did that if I told the truth I wouldn't get into trouble. Well, until this day because of that I still can't really tell a lie and if I do I somehow always get caught, because I am so not good at it and my poker face always give me away. Voted and shared too!!

Curiad 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

great Hub Kenneth. Aside from the other reasons, it is always easier to tell the truth because when you lie, you have to remember what you told who!

ericdunbar 4 years ago from FORT WORTH

You could not have said this any better Kenneth. I absolutely love the way you conveyed such profound truth with humor. After reading this Hub, I would have to agree that truth leads to disaster.

Great Hub Kenneth

bac2basics 4 years ago from Spain

Hi Kenneth. Great hub and how true. little white lies do have their place.

GoForTheJuggler 4 years ago from Texas

It's funny, we're taught to tell the truth from childhood, but no one ever told us that sometimes people don't want to hear the truth.

tamron 4 years ago

Very funny but true article! Vote Up and Share

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

I can't figure out your dad's logic either! The one quote I like about telling the truth is: "One good thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said."

Interesting hub, Kenneth!

Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Kenneth,

I wonder what your punishment would have been if you didn't tell your dad the truth about being late.

I am not condoning lying but there are white lies. For instance if you came across a lady who had a ugly baby. It would be nasty to be truthful.

Voted up across the board.

I hope you are doing well my friend. :)

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Dear Lucky Cats,

I am what I am, says Popeye. I do believe in telling the truth, and I now wish I had included politicians in this hub--what they say, and what they REALLY mean. Maybe a No. 2 hub on this subject. Do not worry, Lucky Cats. You are fine the way YOU are. Thanks for your kind remarks. I Value YOUR Friendship and Following like I do ALL Of my Followers WHO ARE THE BEST ANYWHERE.

Kenneth

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Susie HQ,

Glad you laughed at this. That was the purpose with a mild teaching on HOW I was treated when I was truthful. I am so thankful for YOU and my followers. YOU all certainly have become an important part of my lfie that I cannot thank you all, but maybe one day I will produce a Thank YOU ALL HUB to my followers. Hey, not a bad idea!

Have a sunny day with no friction from anyone.

Kenneth

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Janine,

Guess what? In the last few weeks, I have discovered an ugly cover-up. I am serious. Not funny. When I was 19, I had two cats, one Siamese, one yellow. I raised, fed, bathed them and loved them very much. One day I had came in from work, was still at home not married then, my mom and dad said they had went to town and when they returned my cats were stolen. This was a lie. I had thought about this for years. No thief is going to steal ONLY cats in broad-open daylight. I found out that a family member had saw my Siamese lying on the side of the road hit by a car, and NEVER told me. The other cat was taken off by my dad. After all of the preaching to tell the truth. I ask them who would do such a thing? They only shrugged their shoulders. How would you like to discover your parents had lied to you and never made it right before their deaths years later. Makes the cross I bear a little heavier.

Kenneth

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Curiad,

you are absolutely right, my friend. Especially when you were a heavy-drinker like me at one time. The next morning can be a time to sweat when you finally think back to the night before.

Thanks!

Kenneth

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, ericdunbar,

"Thank you, my friend," for your kind comment. I appreciate it very much. Have a great day.

Kenneth

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, bac2basics,

Yes, you are right. Even Andy Griffith on his show as Andy Taylor, "bent the truth," several times. Remember Aunt Bea's pickles?

Kenneth

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Amen, GoForThe Juggler,

If a lady asks you, "Do I look 35?" And you say, "yes, why?" Do you think that she is happy? No. Not usually. I see your point.

Kenneth

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Tamron,

Thank you for the comment, votes, and share and most importantly . . .YOUR FRIENDSHIP. That means more to me than a vote.

Kenneth

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Catgypsy,

I cant figure his logic out even to this day, Aug. 6, 2012. I know he had his reasons, but to ground me for doing what he said??? Confusing. Thanks for the sweet comment, cat, and you have a great Monday with your children.

Kenneth and Festus

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Susan,

ahhh, yes. The paradox of the truthful person meeting the woman with an ugly child. Great point. Nicely-played. I should have written a side note to this hub, about truthful discretion. "ma'am, cover that baby's face, I need to finish my eggs," would NOT be the proper response. Thanks for the catch.

KENNETH

Debra Emerson 4 years ago

It was very funny and I wanted to laugh because the hub was so FUNNY! Good Job!

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Debra, thank you a bunch for being so nice and leaving such a sweet comment.