It is better to be an outcast, a stranger in one’s own country, than an outcast from one’s self. It is better to see what is about to befall us and to resist than to retreat into the fantasies embraced by a nation of the blind. Chris Hedges

Friday, September 05, 2008

I envy those bloggers who carve out and explore a niche. I wish I had a fetish for political campaign buttons, or thimbles, or an in-depth knowledge of anything. Then I could share my knowledge and expertise with someone wanting the quintessential one-stop-shop on something or other. Instead, I jump from thing to thing, not knowing anything in any depth, and without the insider knowledge that makes it special. I went on a rant about Winston Peters for a while because it didn't seem possible that a man, no matter how personable, could escape the rules of society that govern the rest of us. Well, the chickens have come home to roost and he will atone, at least in some way. But that still leaves me with a lot of questions about my place in the blogosphere.

Why do I do it? A part of me wants to be famous, another part just wants to leave some evidence that I existed, still another believes that what I write has value. The key question is more about the person I want to be. Do I want to be the critic and pundit? Will this advance my goal: to find serenity and some kind of spiritual path?

The truth is I do not get any residual satisfaction from criticising other people. I used to... but what kind of value is that in a world already frought with war, poverty, hate, and natural calamity? How do I contribute to making this a better world? With that question in mind I am going to change tack and begin to focus on the possitive. There are little and big miracles all around us - should we choose to seek them out.