Hiei, Karasu, and Yomi show up on Kurama’s doorstep to profess their undying love for everyone’s favorite bishounen. None of them are happy the others are there. Who will Kurama choose? Madness, hilarity, and heartbreak ensue.

Disclaimer: YYH is the
creation of Togashi Yoshihiro, and I'm definitely not a penny the richer for
this.

A/N: Beware of OOC-ness,
extreme silliness, and very sad, unrequited shonen-ai. And do enjoy.
^_^

Summary: Hiei, Karasu, and
Yomi show up on Kurama's doorstep, to profess their undying love for everyone's
favorite bishounen. None of them are
happy the others are there. Who will
Kurama choose? Madness, hilarity, and
heartbreak ensue.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

Three voices were raised
in consternation, horror, and irritation, just as three fingers were pointed
accusingly.

Three dark-haired youkai
stood glaring at each other on the doorstep in front of the house occupied by
Shuiichi Minamino – or, as he was better known to these three, Kurama.

Hiei snarled, "I have a
right to be here! I'm actually Kurama's
teammate." And friend, he added mentally.

"The lord of Gandara has a
right to be wherever he pleases," Yomi sniffed.

"Well, since you both have
such excellent excuses," said Karasu sarcastically, "I'll be frank, then. I'm here to confess my unconditional love to
Kurama."

Yomi and Hiei's eyes,
which had already been wide with anger and astonishment, practically bulged out
of their sockets.

"You too?!"

All three gaped at each
other.

Recovering his wits first,
Hiei glared at Karasu.

"You should be dead."

"I survived. Get over it."

"Neither of you has a
chance anyway," Yomi proclaimed superciliously.
"Why would he pick you when he could have me? Think about what I have to offer him. I rule the most superior kingdom in Makai,"
here he glanced very pointedly at Hiei, who seethed, "and I can lay countless
riches and immense power at his feet.
Furthermore, he and I go waaay back.
We were comrades before either of you were even born."

"First of all," Hiei
retorted, "Mukuro's realm – I'm her heir," he explained in an aside to Karasu,
who was looking confused and impatient.
"Mukuro's realm is definitely not inferior to Gandara, and he likes me for who I am." He smirked.

"I don't have to buy his love," he told Yomi smugly. "Plus, you're stuck in the past. The Kurama you knew was Youko. That's all behind him. It's time to move on, Yomi-sama."

"Oh yeah? What kind of claims do you have on Kurama's
affections, then?"

"Only that I am willing to
give myself to him; body, mind, and soul," Karasu said in a dignified tone.

"Yeah, right," Hiei
scoffed. "The last time you saw each
other – which was almost the first
time you saw each other – you were both trying to kill each other! And face it, he hated you."

"It seems to me you have
the least justification to be here," Yomi observed, looking at Karasu. "If what he says is true," Yomi jerked his
head at Hiei, "you ought to be killed for your impertinence. And even if it isn't, you don't have the last
third of Makai to proffer to Kurama."

"That's right," Hiei
agreed, although it seemed to be distasteful for him to do so. "You've known him the shortest amount of
time, he doesn't even have mildly positive feelings towards you – to put it
lightly – and you're dirt poor."

"That may be so," said Karasu,
smiling twistedly, "but one, I'm not blind; and two, I'm not a dwarf."

Yomi stiffened and his
face became livid. Hiei seemed like he
was about to start foaming at the mouth.

"What – what did you -?"

Almost as an afterthought,
Karasu added, "And my hair is prettier than yours. I'd make a cuter couple with Kurama. We both
have gorgeous hair."

He tossed his silky black
tresses to illustrate his point.

"You're going to die!"
Hiei growled, baring his fangs. He dove
for his katana.

"Oh my!" squeaked an
elderly human woman on the street, who was carrying grocery bags and staring at
the three of them. Her hand was clapped
over her mouth.

Yomi smacked Hiei
discreetly.

"Just playing around," he
said loudly in a falsely bright tone. He
forced his features into a toothy smile.

Still looking scandalized,
the old woman tottered past slowly, throwing them petrified looks.

Hiei glowered at
Yomi. "Hn. We could have killed her."

"It's best not to attract
attention here, Hiei-san," Yomi
explained as if he were talking to a two year-old.

"I can't believe I'm
standing here with you two psychos."

"That's rich, coming from
you!" Hiei snapped. "That's from the
person who slaughters everything he loves and doesn't know his purpose in life."

"Kurama told you I said
that?" Karasu seemed to be pleasantly
surprised.

"At any rate, you ought to
die for your attempts on Kurama's life," Yomi declared. "I'll bring you back to Gandara and have you
properly executed."

"Oh, spare me your dramatics,"
Karasu snorted. "As for my past . . .
emotional issues, shall we say – I've gotten over them. Therapy with a professional psychiatrist
really works wonders. I highly recommend
it to both of you."

"Shut up. I can't believe that out of all the things in
the world, all three of us have come to the same place for the same thing at
exactly the same time. What are the odds
of this?" Hiei was furious.

"It's definitely a cruel
trick of fate." Yomi looked equally
irate.

"How did you two find out where
he lives?"

"We could ask the same of
you." Yomi resisted the urge to stick
his tongue out at Hiei, whose arm was twitching as if longing to reach for his
katana again.

"I've always known where
Kurama lives. He happens to trust me."

Yomi shrugged. "Myself, well, I'm the lord of Gandara. What do you think minions are for?"

Hiei and Yomi turned to
look questioningly at Karasu.

"Oh . . . I'd rather not
say how I found out." Karasu smiled
mysteriously.

"Okay . . ."

Hiei and Yomi decided they
really didn't need to know.

"This sucks," Hiei
grumbled.

"It could have been worse
. . ."

"Excuse me?" Hiei stared balefully up at Karasu, who
looked down at him for an extra long while before answering.

When he felt that Hiei's
shortness had been emphasized well enough, Karasu smirked and said, "On my way
here, I met a youkai named Kuronue who had the same idea as all of us."

"Kuronue?" Yomi frowned.
"He's dead, you idiot."

"You imbeciles seemed to
think I was dead, and here I am. Anyway, I decided there wasn't room enough
for two crow youkai in Kurama's life, so I . . . disposed of him."

"One thing you've done
right in your whole life," Hiei muttered.

"Why, thank you."

"Even if you've decreased
the competition somewhat, there are still three of us," Yomi pointed out.

"You're right, and as I
don't want to displease Kurama by brawling like some common thug on his
doorstep, why don't the two of you go home?"
Karasu addressed Yomi.

"Kurama is staying in his
human form, and I prefer him that way.
You are in love with Youko, who is dead to the world. Get yourself a new lover."

Turning to Hiei, he
stated, "You are far too ugly to be Kurama's significant other. And short.
Find someone your own size."

Spluttering, Hiei yelled,
"Unfortunately for you, Kurama hates
you! You don't seem to understand that
after molesting and trying to kill him, Kurama would like nothing better than
to see your head on a stick!"

"Something I'll only be
too happy to present him," muttered Yomi, rolling up his sleeves. Karasu's insinuation that Yomi was suffering
under a delusion of the past seemed to have struck deeply.

"I'm with you," Hiei said
viciously, drawing his katana. "But be
warned that after I've done with him, I'm getting rid of you."

"If you can, my short
man," hissed Yomi.

"Now, children!"
admonished Karasu calmly, though his hand went to his mask as if to take it
off.

Suddenly, a burst of
laughter reached all three pairs of ears (actually, five, if you counted all of
Yomi's ears), and they turned to notice Kurama's door had opened.

The heartbreakingly
beautiful object of all the prior debate was bent over with mirth, clutching
his sides. He was laughing so hard that
tears streamed from his eyes.

"K-K-," Hiei stammered.

"-urama," Yomi finished
for him, just as shocked.

"Itoshii!" Karasu cried flamboyantly, his expression lighting up.

"Aha – I – hahaha – sorry
– ehehehe," guffawed Kurama. He was
leaning on the door, which swung further inward, causing him to collapse in a
shaking heap on the ground.

"I'm – ahh – hehehehehe,"
Kurama chuckled, wiping his eyes. Taking
several deep breaths, he appeared to calm himself, and he stood up. As he rose, he straightened his indigo dress
shirt and dusted off his pristine jeans.

"Sorry," he repeated,
still smiling widely. "I heard all of
it."

Karasu, Hiei, and Yomi's
eyes all went round.

"I've never been so
flattered in my life," he went on, "and, um, thank you all for your devotion to
me."

Hiei appeared ready to
faint, while Yomi seemed about to throw up.
Karasu alone was relatively composed.

"Hiei," he said to his
friend, clasping his hand, "you're my best friend, and you always will be. However – my love for you is from the neck
up." He smiled and squeezed Hiei's hand
reassuringly.

"Eh . . . hn," said Hiei,
in an attempt to look unhurt. He
resolved to go home and kill things to work off his fury.

"Hah!" Karasu
laughed. "I told you that you were too
ugly and undesirable to inspire passion in Kurama's heart."

"The thing is, I can't
love you. How to put this . . . I need
someone I can feel more secure with."
Kurama looked beseechingly at Karasu.
"Do you understand?"

Those huge green eyes
melted Karasu. "Yes," he whimpered.

"Good. I'd like to keep in touch with you
though. I love your hair – you need to
give me some tips. Call me
sometime." Karasu feebly returned
Kurama's dazzling grin.

Last, Kurama turned to
Yomi.

"Yomi," he said, laying a
comradely hand on his shoulder. "Yomi,
Yomi. Long time, no see. How are you?
How's Shura?"

"Uh . . . we're fine,
thanks."

"That's wonderful. We were very good friends, long ago, weren't
we?"

"Once we were more than
good friends," Yomi ventured boldly.
Hiei and Karasu looked like they wanted to strangle him.

"Oh, that's right," said
Kurama, smiling at the memory. "But
those times are over, and right now I think we're just good friends. Don't you?"

"Ah -," Yomi started. Kurama put on his most charming smile.

"If you say so," Yomi
conceded grudgingly.

"I'm glad we agree. When you go back to Makai we can still write
each other, though. Anyway, you ought to
take Karasu's advice – get a new lover.
You've got a whole country to choose from." Kurama winked.

"Now . . . as much as I'd
like to stay and chat with you guys for a while longer, a very important woman
is waiting for me. I'll see you later,
okay?"

"A woman?" Hiei's voice was incredulous.

"Who?" Karasu demanded.

"My kaasan," Kurama said
cheerfully. "It's her birthday today,
and I'm taking her out for lunch. Bye!"

With that, he got in his
car and drove off, leaving the three very forlorn youkai staring at each other
on his doorstep.

"Someone kill me," Yomi
muttered. "Just kill me."

"Gladly," said Hiei, who
was looking murderous.

Karasu burst into tears.

Finis

A/N: Kurama's such a
heartbreaker! Ah, how I love him. *hugs*
And I feel so sorry for Hiei, Karasu, and Yomi. Poor babies.

Review? It would make Yomi, Hiei, and Karasu feel
better. ^_^

P.S. For those who are
wondering about Karasu's wondering about his purpose in life, it is mentioned
in the manga. He's talking to Kurama about
how he gets depressed when he kills someone he likes, just like how he gets
depressed when he wonders about his purpose in life. I once read a scanslation online where Karasu
said, "I get the blues when I kill someone I like." I don't want to laugh at someone who isn't a
native English speaker, but this interesting translation really cracked me up.

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.