I need help to deal with it! basically what has happened is my boyfriend beat me up and put me in hospital for 5 days and I love him and carnt let go but because it has all happened I just flip n think things like he is cheating and all that he tries to reassure me but it doesn't help I carry on thinking it. it is killing him and killing me

In factI deal with this type of situation all the time.I have not given you an answer, and to give you an answer, I need background information.

The first an most obvious answer is why is he not injail, or on probation, was he arrested? What did you do about this?

No physical abuse in any relationship is acceptable. It is illegal. You appear to be saying you are blaming your self, which is also a reflection of co dependency, no one has a right to beat you up regardless of what accusations you make.

So, I am trying to assess what level of help you need, with what type of practitioner.

OKThen the next question isWhy would you want to keep seeing someone that physically abused you and put you in the hospital for 5 days.A 5 day hospital stay would indicate this was potentially life threatening.

What has been done to follow up with you; what services were arranged or suggested?

OKLet me explain this carefully.This is not self help.What you are describing not only involves your own emotional problems, but those of your family that raised you, and you might have other problems developing from this trauma, such as PTSD.This requires professional therapy.

To fix a relationship that is this badly damaged, therapy for you and for the couple, it requires both.

If you find a Phd clinical psychologist trained in family therapy they can start with you, and then anyone else that needs to joint that process can, including your boyfriend.

I would be very concerned about your safety in the meantime, and I think that you should not be seeing your boyfriend until you are both in therapy, and until his behavior is being monitored by the authorities, which I assume is the case at this point.

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