Saw Alien. The worst in the franchise by far. If you thought the scientists in Prometheus were dumb, oh boy are you in for a treat. At least they landed on an alien planet with their helmets on, these fuckers don't even have them. Everything bad that happens is because of that simple fact that you don't go into an unknown planet basically naked.

This pseudo-sequel managed to take everything that was interesting about Prometheus (everything non Alien related), toss it out in favor of cgi xenos (because i guess the fans demanded it) and gore. For a movie that tried to go back to the roots of the series, it had no tension, no horror, no characters (was there a protagonist? a short haired lady does not a Ripley make), no plot (i guess you can boil it down to 2*Fassbender = plot). Let's explain where the alien comes from because midichlorians. Let's expand the universe by shrinking it. Cosmic horror? The universe is dark and uncaring? Nah, our Gods are humanoids, and the xenomorphs are our creation by proxy. It's all about humans, we are the center of the universe. Isn't that scary? Oh, remember Dallas? We have Tennessee now. Everything is about the LORE. MORE ALIENS, MORE HARRISON FORD. The first movie wasn't called Alien just because it had a creature in it. This one is, only because it has one. And it's not scary, it's just sad, lifeless and boring. Did i already said there was no tension? Yeah, i didn't care about anything that happened to any character. Also, in horror, cgi will never trump practical effects, never (a big disappointment with the new Twin Peaks). If you're going to put an alien creature well lit, front and center, ditch cgi, and put slime on it.

Even though it's still fresh, this one broke the camel's back. I'm done with big budget franchises. The last Marvel i saw was the second Avengers. Managed to catch The Force Awakens and that was it. Life is short. I'd rather watch 2h of Fassbender making out with himself.

Uhhh, I'm all for saying Scott has lost his touch, but to be fair he already made the most compelling entry in the franchise before it was a lousy franchise. I think it's ill advised for him to do these new ones, but it's just as much a mistake to start letting it color your judgement of his stellar work from almost 40 years ago (basically a different person in a different time). I'm all for separating the person from the artist and the artist from the art, but also credit when and where due.

That's fair to say. I was hasty in my remark about the original Alien, coming off a state of abject disappointment.

In other news, here are some scenes that probably should have been in Alien: Covenant, but aren't for some reason. Instead they were relegated to YouTube promotional material. I only just learned about them today. I think they would enhance a first time viewer's experience of the film, which begs the question as to why a whopping 8 minutes couldn't be squeezed into the final cut. But what do I know, I'm not a film maker.

Saw Alien. The worst in the franchise by far. If you thought the scientists in Prometheus were dumb, oh boy are you in for a treat. At least they landed on an alien planet with their helmets on, these fuckers don't even have them. Everything bad that happens is because of that simple fact that you don't go into an unknown planet basically naked.

I usually don't agree with you on basically anything, but this about sums up my thoughts as well. Scott needs to step away from these. Badly.

Saw Alien. The worst in the franchise by far. If you thought the scientists in Prometheus were dumb, oh boy are you in for a treat. At least they landed on an alien planet with their helmets on, these fuckers don't even have them. Everything bad that happens is because of that simple fact that you don't go into an unknown planet basically naked.

This pseudo-sequel managed to take everything that was interesting about Prometheus (everything non Alien related), toss it out in favor of cgi xenos (because i guess the fans demanded it) and gore. For a movie that tried to go back to the roots of the series, it had no tension, no horror, no characters (was there a protagonist? a short haired lady does not a Ripley make), no plot (i guess you can boil it down to 2*Fassbender = plot). Let's explain where the alien comes from because midichlorians. Let's expand the universe by shrinking it. Cosmic horror? The universe is dark and uncaring? Nah, our Gods are humanoids, and the xenomorphs are our creation by proxy. It's all about humans, we are the center of the universe. Isn't that scary? Oh, remember Dallas? We have Tennessee now. Everything is about the LORE. MORE ALIENS, MORE HARRISON FORD. The first movie wasn't called Alien just because it had a creature in it. This one is, only because it has one. And it's not scary, it's just sad, lifeless and boring. Did i already said there was no tension? Yeah, i didn't care about anything that happened to any character. Also, in horror, cgi will never trump practical effects, never (a big disappointment with the new Twin Peaks). If you're going to put an alien creature well lit, front and center, ditch cgi, and put slime on it.

Damn. Well, that's that. Pretty much what I expected after the trailers, but still sad to hear.

Saw Alien. The worst in the franchise by far. If you thought the scientists in Prometheus were dumb, oh boy are you in for a treat. At least they landed on an alien planet with their helmets on, these fuckers don't even have them.

Let's explain where the alien comes from because midichlorians. Let's expand the universe by shrinking it. Cosmic horror? The universe is dark and uncaring? Nah, our Gods are humanoids, and the xenomorphs are our creation by proxy. It's all about humans, we are the center of the universe. Isn't that scary? Oh, remember Dallas? We have Tennessee now. Everything is about the LORE. MORE ALIENS, MORE HARRISON FORD.

Even though it's still fresh, this one broke the camel's back. I'm done with big budget franchises. The last Marvel i saw was the second Avengers. Managed to catch The Force Awakens and that was it. Life is short. I'd rather watch 2h of Fassbender making out with himself.

I don't quite follow... I mean, it's fine to swear off franchises as junk food films and all, but even though this one's being pushed that way it obscures the fact that this is basically director Ridley Scott fucking up. It's not like there's a Kevin Feige calling the shots, making Scott compromise his vision to setup another movie, this is what Scott the artist presumably WANTED to do.

BTW, I think you'd really like Guardians of the Galaxy Part 2.

The hilarity of that statement aside, those GotG movies seem to actually have more creative integrity, made by a writer/director instead of by committee, no setups or oppressive crossovering yet, than these pseudo-franchises that are technically outside such parameters. I wonder if Ridley Scott is TRYING to be some franchise guy, like all these years he's secretly been jealous of George Lucas and all the mileage he got out of that ONE THING and all the other unwashed idiots, like Michael Bay, similarly cashing in if not building their reputations. It would explain why he's making a bunch of sub par Alien retreads instead of Blade Runner, "This is MY Cinematic Universe, and it's so much more highbrow!" Again, this might be the secret subversive message of GotG2. =)

So bad it's bad is not a thing. AvP I could almost be talked into because I only saw it once 13 years ago and though it wasn't good I can't remember specifically why other than that bad condom line and the characters and monsters being underwhelming to shitty (other than the queen, but the predators were stupid and fucked up and it all suffered from shaky cam), but overall it was an inoffensive, "we don't know any better" sort of bad. Requiem though... that was pain. It was painful. It hurt me. It hurt my feelings. Liking it is like the entertainment equivalent of masochism; it's like saying you're into ball torture. I don't understand that and it scares me.

Sometimes it seems more like no limit for you TO enjoy something... and I only make that point because, generous as you are, even you think Covenant sucks! Wow. Looks like I made the right call on my high concept, sci-fi rigmarole this past weekend.

Anything after The Waterboy other than Punch-Drunk Love and possibly Reign Over Me and I'm calling shenanigans.

No idea what you're talking about. Sandler hasn't made anything since then, right?

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So bad it's bad is not a thing. AvP I could almost be talked into because I only saw it once 13 years ago and though it wasn't good I can't remember specifically why other than that bad condom line and the characters and monsters being underwhelming to shitty (other than the queen, but the predators were stupid and fucked up and it all suffered from shaky cam), but overall it was an inoffensive, "we don't know any better" sort of bad. Requiem though... that was pain. It was painful. It hurt me. It hurt my feelings. Liking it is like the entertainment equivalent of masochism; it's like saying you're into ball torture. I don't understand that and it scares me.

They did what they set out to do, which was just be entertainment at the cost of nothing. They didn't take themselves seriously, which is why I loved them. Also, ball torture...don't knock it til you've tried it.

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Sometimes it seems more like no limit for you TO enjoy something... and I only make that point because, generous as you are, even you think Covenant sucks! Wow. Looks like I made the right call on my high concept, sci-fi rigmarole this past weekend.

Covenant took itself unbelievably seriously. The CGI was awful as well as the stupid characters. I thought it would learn from Prometheus' mistakes, but it didn't. I gave Scott a chance and he blew it with this. I'll always have the first two movies (sadly three too), though.

I walked out of AvP at the "I'm in love with a predator" part of the story. As if I needed any other reason and there were many. That movie was so bad that it far surpasses any logical defense. It needed Chris Hansen to intervene.

Logged

Believing in a higher power is just as illusionary as believing life has no ultimate purpose and pretending it does.

I walked out of AvP at the "I'm in love with a predator" part of the story. As if I needed any other reason and there were many. That movie was so bad that it far surpasses any logical defense. It needed Chris Hansen to intervene.

I don't remember, but man was that a terrible premise alone. I can't imagine anyone would have trouble doing better. I enjoy the alien movies, not saying they're all great or even good, but those are pretty embarrassing.

Logged

Believing in a higher power is just as illusionary as believing life has no ultimate purpose and pretending it does.

I don't remember, but man was that a terrible premise alone. I can't imagine anyone would have trouble doing better. I enjoy the alien movies, not saying they're all great or even good, but those are pretty embarrassing.

I loved them, but to each their own. I even took a date to the first one!

No idea what you're talking about. Sandler hasn't made anything since then, right?

Good man.

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They did what they set out to do, which was just be entertainment at the cost of nothing. They didn't take themselves seriously, which is why I loved them.

I don't know about that, I think that movie was trying to play it as straight as either of its forebears, its idea of that just wasn't very good or convincing. That's a whole different vibe from being light and irreverent like GotG or something. Quite the contrary, it was trying to be reverent to its source material, just not very well unless it was being faithful to shitty AvP fanfic novels. It's not without a cost either, as it completely waters down and lowers the reputation and expectations of both series until they're more famous for being bad than good (here we are!). Anyway, as opposed to, say, James Gunn, Paul W.S. Anderson isn't exactly known for such self-aware satire either (and Dan O'Bannon got a story credit too, ewww). Though I do give the far lesser Anderson credit for making the best video game movie ever... Mortal Kombat!

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Covenant took itself unbelievably seriously. The CGI was awful as well as the stupid characters. I thought it would learn from Prometheus' mistakes, but it didn't. I gave Scott a chance and he blew it with this. I'll always have the first two movies (sadly three too), though.

Now all that I can believe, especially the taking itself dreadfully serious part. The problem is directors like Scott approach all their material like it's the gospel even if the story and characters are ludicrously terrible. It only makes something bad even more unbearable. The Alien series was much better off when it was, probably inadvertently, just being passed on to different transcendent visual directors with each iteration. It's why Alien 3 looks so much better today than when its only other comps were Alien/s. If only we knew.

There have been days I've thought about checking it out, but I'm afraid the bad taste will be all that's left in my mouth. I really must have hated the first to not give the second a shot.

I like how you phrased that like an invasive, suicidal thought or something, "There have been days I've considered [eating a bullet/watching AvP2]." The first one is merely disappointingly bad, the second is actually disgusting if you're a big fan of either series. Unless you're viewing it as a comedy apparently; maybe it'd be ok going in drunk and knowing you're watching the Trolls 2 of the Aliens and Predator frachises, but that unfortunately wasn't my experience. It even has Lance Hendrickson cameo in it to add insult to injury, the cherry on top of a shit sundae.

I like how you phrased that like an invasive, suicidal thought or something, "There have been days I've considered [eating a bullet/watching AvP2]." The first one is merely disappointingly bad, the second is actually disgusting if you're a big fan of either series. Unless you're viewing it as a comedy apparently; maybe it'd be ok going in drunk and knowing you're watching the Trolls 2 of the Aliens and Predator frachises, but that unfortunately wasn't my experience. It even has Lance Hendrickson cameo in it to add insult to injury, the cherry on top of a shit sundae.

In my defense, I went in with the absolute lowest expectations, and ended up enjoying them. Guilty pleasure and all.

In my defense, I went in with the absolute lowest expectations, and ended up enjoying them. Guilty pleasure and all.

I don't know why I still had standards for these things after the disaster that was Alien: Resurrection, or Predator 2 (which isn't good, but is at least interesting to say the least) and even Alien 3, which, despite revisionist history as things have gotten worse, nobody actually liked 25 years ago, including those involved. Fortunately for it, our standards of badness have had to adjust from "this seems off in its execution, is lesser than and doesn't live up its predecessors, and I fundamentally disagree with its premise and handling of the characters" to "this seems like a pile of random garbage and shit that was thrown together by developmentally challenged baboons and set on fire."

Lmao, it is suicidal in that "noose my childhood with a cherry on top" sense. I love the franchise and had no bias or critical opinions of the first four. Hell, I had to sneak around to watch them when I was younger. Resurrection came out when I was in 9th grade. Obviously the first two truly are the meat and bones in the same way the terminator series is. I went in knowing the reviews were terrible and idk, for me it just didn't do the negative reviews justice. It was that bad. Like the ultimate screw you to fans. Hey, do you like Alien? Yeah! Do you like Predator? Say whuuuu? We have the ultimate story for you. With the writing power from two iconic storytellers in Uwe Boll and Liefeld, we present...AvP!!!

John, I'm not trying to flip you shit, just that this one really let me down.

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Believing in a higher power is just as illusionary as believing life has no ultimate purpose and pretending it does.