Bob Costas’ mysterious eye infection disgusts NBC viewers

Bob Costas, who has hosted the Olympics for NBC since 1988, has stepped down from covering the Sochi games due to a mysterious eye infection, says a network spokesperson.

Viewers were alarmed by the host’s red eye during last week’s opening ceremony, but any sympathy granted to Costas quickly turned into disgust, and then outrage, with the public demanding that the veteran sports commentator hide his face.

“He sickens me,” said Rachel McInnis, an Atlanta-area homemaker. “People on television are supposed to have flawless skin and glowing white eyes and teeth.”

“My son is traumatized from looking at those monstrous, scabby pustules,” she said. “I don’t think he’ll ever achieve his dream of being a figure skater, now. Thanks a lot, NBC.”

Costas is temporarily being replaced by “The Today Show” host Matt Lauer, who officials say is unlikely to contract the infection because his entire body is coated in a layer of germ-resistant latex.