In The Feline Of Duty

Confused Owner Pursues A Cure To Help Her Beloved Ball Of Fur Purr

Real cats love to curl up somewhere cushy and purr full throttle. Not Matisse, my big, beautiful, blue-eyed cat. Matisse doesn't purr. But he does love to sniff and lick people.

Real cats scurry under the bed when the doorbell buzzes. Not Matisse. He follows visitors from room to room.

Real cats jump and curl up on their owner's lap. Not Matisse. He plops his furball self at my feet.

Matisse is obviously having major behavioral problems of the canine variety. In other words, he thinks he is a dog.

KidNews has asked me to check out a weekend retreat for people and their pets, so I scoop up Matisse and head out. Sponsored by the Illinois Citizens' Animal Welfare League in Chicago Ridge, the retreat promises to be a spiritual, holistic experience. Will some pet crystals rev up Matisse? Will a massage soothe his vocal cords into purring order?

The weekend also offers a class on pet aromatherapy and a chance to meet with a spiritual counselor to resolve pet/owner behavioral problems. There will be psychic readings (was Matisse perhaps raised by poodles in another life?). Plus, an "aura consultant" will be photographing pets. (An aura is considered the energy that living creatures give off; when special cameras are used, the energy shows up as a color.)

We head straight for a consultation with a counselor.

Our counselor is Anne Firestone, who says she left her regular hospital social work job after being kissed by a beautiful wolf in the wilderness. Anne says her counseling work is inspired by her relationship with the Wolf Spirit she knows through dreams and meditation. She gives Wolf Spirit lectures and workshops throughout the Midwest and teaches at Chicago-area colleges.

As Matisse and I sit down with Anne (he doesn't seem too intrigued, but I'm fascinated), she explains why she needs to see both of us: "Since pets often take on anxieties and illness for their human friends, it is important that both participate in the healing process."

So what is my cat's problem? Why can't he purr like a normal cat?

Anne talks as she runs her hands across his back.

"I'm doing Reike on Matisse now -placing my hands over his body, his life force center. Usually if there's a problem with the animal I feel such strong energy that my hands start to tingle and get hot," she says

Matisse is busy burrowing his fuzz face into the crook of her arm. Anne smiles.

"I'm not picking up any problems with this cat," she says. "Is he always so sweet and friendly with strangers?"

Anne hands Matisse back to me. He just looks bored as he sits in my lap with his Ray Bans on.

Suddenly it's my turn.

"Let's do a Wolf Spirit reading with you now," Anne says. In such readings, she uses photographs of wolves she has a "personal relationship with" as a kind of wolf tarot card. She uses the readings to help people with their careers, family and relationships. She says she can also help people discover their life purpose.

My life purpose at this moment is to have a normal, purring cat.

But I go ahead and pick a wolf card for myself. After all, this is co-counseling.

Anne studies my card.

"Misfit," she declares.

I stare at her. "Excuse me?"

"You picked the Misfit Wolf," Anne answers. "She was a loner, very stubborn and pigheaded, liked to do things her way, very friendly with people, marched to the beat of a different drummer. So it's important to follow your instincts and to persevere in what you really want."

Fine. My cat is normal and I'm the misfit. What a psychic discovery for the two of us.