I go on Facebook all the time to tell everyone how much this place sucks. I hope all my friends on Facebook will move with me somewhere exciting like Miami or Hollywood. That’s where it’s at. Something’s always happening there, I know it. . . .

“You’d think it’d be a half-ass job for any experienced actor to play a smarmy, cock-sure bachelor in a bowling shirt on television. That’s not the case,” commented Sheen, “that pathetic little troll has no Tiger Blood! I told you nobody could handle a dose of Charlie Sheen!” . . .

Inglip has predicted that the true messiah should be crucified, on cam, aside George Hotz and Kilgore Trout by suited men in Guy Fawkes masks. From there, Ryan will use his direct video link to hijack the minds of billions of onlookers. Because of the unbalanced massing of consciousness, Ryan will begin to implode and re-trigger the big bang. A better universe will be born, full of trollfaces and rage comics. . . .

Today, Anonymous denied doing everything ever. AnonOps has split into factions that are hell-bent on publishing the largest body of lies and personal documents in the history of the world. Meanwhile, the FBI is closing in on everybody who ever used the name Anonymous. Anonymous has since denied that Anonymous even exists. Now that every single Anon has been doxed, there is no longer an Anonymous Anon. Therefore, Anonymous no longer exists, and perhaps never did. Also, all the dox are fake. . . .