Traumatic Bereavement

Few things in life are as painful as the death of a loved one. Grief is both a universal and also a very personal response to loss that can dominate one’s emotional life for many months, frequently many years.

Grieving reactions vary considerably from person to person and from culture to culture. Grief is not a single emotion, but usually involves a wide range of intense emotions, including intense yearning, restlessness and a profound sense of emptiness. Things that were once important may not seem to matter anymore. If the death has occurred in traumatic circumstances additional traumatic-stress reactions are likely to be involved for the bereaved, including disbelief, horror and anger which make the feelings of intense grief even more difficult to bear.

It can take a significant amount of time to accept the reality of a death, but in most cases the anguish of acute grief is gradually transformed over time into a way of remembering and honouring the loved one that is less emotionally painful and disruptive to the survivor. Over time, the loved one can be remembered without being flooded with the pervasive heartache of acute grief.

Current thinking is that therapy should not be provided in cases of normal grieving, rather we should respect each individual’s way of coping with the loss and allow them to move forward in their own time and within the dictates of their particular culture, while providing support as wanted.

However, sometimes grief becomes complicated and bereaved survivors remain acutely distressed, finding it difficult to get through the day for years after the loss. This occurrence is known as Complicated Grief and can occur when death is from natural causes in older years, but is more common in the case of sudden, shocking loss of a loved one, for example:

Sudden death without warning

The death of one’s child

Death in horrific circumstances

Occasions when the body is not recovered

Multiple deaths

Suicide

Death due to violence

Death due to the fault of others, from carelessness or negligence

Deliberate homicide

When a loved-one has died in any of these circumstances, survivors face the need to come to terms with not only the death itself, but also the manner of the death. It is common for survivors to agonise about what their loved ones experienced during their final moments of life; and if another person has been directly or indirectly responsible for the death intense rage and other powerful emotions can occur. Survivor guilt is another common reaction, while some survivors blame themselves for the death or for not protecting their loved one. It can be particularly hard to part with the loved one’s possessions, while birthdays, anniversary dates and other special or meaningful dates can be particularly difficult to get through. For some the death of a loved one may provoke a spiritual crisis that challenges a survivor’s faith or previously held belief system.

Current research into grief and loss teaches us that when a traumatic bereavement has occurred, while we still respect an individual’s way of coping with the loss, professionals should look out for signs and symptoms of potentially serious complications that could be alleviated. In particular, symptoms of severe major depression or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder should all be addressed professionally once the initial shock has subsided and the bereaved person is ready to work to counter these symptoms.

Children who lose a parent when they are still young often need particular help, as well as appropriate support from family members. Those supporting the child may also benefit from specialist input.

If such help has not been made available and if after about six months the acute grief reaction has not shifted into a set of feelings that are easier to bear, the bereaved person should consider seeking such help themselves. Particularly if there are symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or major depression, or if grief reactions interfere with other parts of normal life such as being able to care for one’s children or hold a job, if rage remains uncontrollable or suicidal thoughts persist, professional help should be sought. A range of different support options are available, but the therapist chosen should always be experienced in treating both trauma and bereavement.

ASSIST provides specialist therapy following traumatic bereavement, working in partnership with Disaster Action and other support groups. If such bereavement is as the result of homicide, therapy is provided as part of the National Homicide Service.

If you would like to discuss whether therapy from ASSIST can help you, please telephone 01788 551919 or click here email us.

We do not quote a fixed price for therapy as every case is different.

We encourage all clients to engage in an assessment with a specialist therapist so we can determine your needs and work out the best plan of therapy for you.

We do charge for assessments and then upon commencing therapy, we charge by an hourly rate.

There are different factors such as location and therapeutic needs which would determine the cost of therapy and so we encourage clients to call our office and speak to a member of our team who can best advise you with available options.

We do provide other services such as letter/form writing, and providing reports of assessments.Please get in touch and our team can help provide the right information for you.