What age can you spoil them

I've seen lots of people say you can't spoil babies at this age. So at what age do others think the baby is now "spoiled" and at what age would you start thinking that you need to watch the behaviours and patterns that you are setting up.

I've seen lots of people say you can't spoil babies at this age. So at what age do others think the baby is now "spoiled" and at what age would you start thinking that you need to watch the behaviours and patterns that you are setting up.

I don't know exactly when you can spoil them but it is going to be a while. Right now there's no way their little brains can do anything except try to tell you what they need. They are learning about the world and you are teaching them whether they can trust that their needs will be taken care is or not.

I don't know exactly when you can spoil them but it is going to be a while. Right now there's no way their little brains can do anything except try to tell you what they need. They are learning about the world and you are teaching them whether they can trust that their needs will be taken care is or not.

I hope more ppl comment bc I would like to hear from more ppl on this. IMO when I hear "you can't spoil a baby at this age" I take it with a grain of salt. I understand you can't love a baby too much right now give all the hugs and kisses you can. when it comes to crying after all needs are met and the baby isn't in pain its ok to hold them and comfort them but if the baby starts depending on you to rock them to sleep every time you have to start helping them be comfortable in other places. (I hope that makes sense). for example, in my situation, it got to the point with dd that every time I laid her down after rocking her to sleep she would wake up and need me to hold her and rock her back to sleep. after nights of no sleep I had to do something different so I started laying her down and walking away. I let her fuss for A min and then I would go back put the paci back in and soothe her without picking her up. I guess you could say I use CIO but I never let her actually get to the point where she is crying. I only do this is its night time or nap time. its worked for me. now when I see her get sleepy I just take her to the crib swaddled her up put her paci in and she will fall asleep on her own (mostly ha!) now if its daytime and she is just under stimulated then thats diff. I know everyone and every baby is diff though.

I hope more ppl comment bc I would like to hear from more ppl on this. IMO when I hear "you can't spoil a baby at this age" I take it with a grain of salt. I understand you can't love a baby too much right now give all the hugs and kisses you can. when it comes to crying after all needs are met and the baby isn't in pain its ok to hold them and comfort them but if the baby starts depending on you to rock them to sleep every time you have to start helping them be comfortable in other places. (I hope that makes sense). for example, in my situation, it got to the point with dd that every time I laid her down after rocking her to sleep she would wake up and need me to hold her and rock her back to sleep. after nights of no sleep I had to do something different so I started laying her down and walking away. I let her fuss for A min and then I would go back put the paci back in and soothe her without picking her up. I guess you could say I use CIO but I never let her actually get to the point where she is crying. I only do this is its night time or nap time. its worked for me. now when I see her get sleepy I just take her to the crib swaddled her up put her paci in and she will fall asleep on her own (mostly ha!) now if its daytime and she is just under stimulated then thats diff. I know everyone and every baby is diff though.

Babies cannot be spoiled until they learn cause and effect. Meaning, they know that when they cry someone will come or that if they drop a toy it'll be picked up and handed back to them. 4 months is the age that comes to mind but every baby is different developmentally.

Babies cannot be spoiled until they learn cause and effect. Meaning, they know that when they cry someone will come or that if they drop a toy it'll be picked up and handed back to them. 4 months is the age that comes to mind but every baby is different developmentally.

(hit post on accident) since habits are hard to break parents should be careful how they act now because they will likely continue the behaviors that could spoil a child until the child knows how to manipulate.

(hit post on accident) since habits are hard to break parents should be careful how they act now because they will likely continue the behaviors that could spoil a child until the child knows how to manipulate.

I read on baby center hat babies start learning cause and effect around 6 months. That would be when they can get "spoiled" in the sense that they will cry for no reason. Whether that's accurate or not, Idk but I am assuming they know more about it than I do so that's what in going with for now

I read on baby center hat babies start learning cause and effect around 6 months. That would be when they can get "spoiled" in the sense that they will cry for no reason. Whether that's accurate or not, Idk but I am assuming they know more about it than I do so that's what in going with for now

i would say 6 months at the earliest...before then, its the only way they know how to communicate. Especially now when they have no concept that once you are out of their line of vision you still exist, and will return! So sure, at this point sometimes they only cry because they are scared that they cant see/smell you...they dont understand it just means you are in the other room. After all, wouldnt YOU cry too if you didnt know if you'd ever see your LO again?! Poor lil guys! Lol. So, I always soothe as soon as I can up until 6 months or so. Of course with a toddler in the hiuse it isnt always possible to get to him quickly, but I do when I can....

i would say 6 months at the earliest...before then, its the only way they know how to communicate. Especially now when they have no concept that once you are out of their line of vision you still exist, and will return! So sure, at this point sometimes they only cry because they are scared that they cant see/smell you...they dont understand it just means you are in the other room. After all, wouldnt YOU cry too if you didnt know if you'd ever see your LO again?! Poor lil guys! Lol. So, I always soothe as soon as I can up until 6 months or so. Of course with a toddler in the hiuse it isnt always possible to get to him quickly, but I do when I can....

I agree that you cannot "spoil" at this age, but you should be aware of what habits you are teaching your child. When they start trying to manipulate you, that's when they can be spoiled. Examples are they drop something on the floor, you pick it up, they purposely drop it again and cry till you get it. The way I think of it is that they start crying out of WANT rather than NEED. Doesn't mean you shouldn't sometimes give them what they want, you just have to be more careful about what behavior you are reinforcing.

I agree that you cannot "spoil" at this age, but you should be aware of what habits you are teaching your child. When they start trying to manipulate you, that's when they can be spoiled. Examples are they drop something on the floor, you pick it up, they purposely drop it again and cry till you get it. The way I think of it is that they start crying out of WANT rather than NEED. Doesn't mean you shouldn't sometimes give them what they want, you just have to be more careful about what behavior you are reinforcing.

Don't think u can spoil a child for 12-18 months.but maybe I'm wrong.certainly not before 6 months.longer for some.toddlers I guess can be difficult so 'tough love' or cry it out techniques might be useful then.but not sure I will be able for those when the time comes.will probably try and find other techniques that work.

Don't think u can spoil a child for 12-18 months.but maybe I'm wrong.certainly not before 6 months.longer for some.toddlers I guess can be difficult so 'tough love' or cry it out techniques might be useful then.but not sure I will be able for those when the time comes.will probably try and find other techniques that work.

I posted this earlier on another thread from babycenter.com If I lavish love and attention on my baby, will I spoil him? No. Young babies are completely spoil-proof. Your baby needs all the care and attention you can give. Ignore the advice of well-meaning relatives who think babies need to learn independence. Instead, listen to your parental instinct — that inner voice that tells you to comfort your baby when he cries. "Spoiled children" have learned to use negative behavior to get what they want. But your baby is too young to purposefully manipulate or annoy you. He cries to communicate his needs, whether they're for a snack, a dry diaper, or a little cuddling with Mom or Dad. When you respond quickly to your baby, you're building his sense of self-worth. You're also establishing a foundation of trust that can last for years to come. If you give your baby prompt attention, he'll feel more secure and less anxious, giving him the courage to explore the world on his own. And once he understands that you take his cries seriously, he'll be less likely to cry for no reason. In the long run, responding quickly to your baby's needs will make him less clingy and demanding, not more.By the time your baby is 6 to 8 months old, he'll be paying close attention to cause and effect — noticing, for instance, that his bowl falls when he drops it from the highchair. He'll also start to see a direct link between his actions and your responses. At this point it's okay to set some limits. If your baby starts crying to get something he doesn't need, hold your ground and give him a hug when he calms down. Similarly, give hugs and praise for good behavior and gently redirect him when he's doing something hazardous.The right blend of love and guidance will eventually help your child understand his place in the world. But for now, your focus should be on giving him as much attention and comfort as you can. No matter how much you give, it's not more than he needs.

I posted this earlier on another thread from babycenter.com If I lavish love and attention on my baby, will I spoil him? No. Young babies are completely spoil-proof. Your baby needs all the care and attention you can give. Ignore the advice of well-meaning relatives who think babies need to learn independence. Instead, listen to your parental instinct — that inner voice that tells you to comfort your baby when he cries. "Spoiled children" have learned to use negative behavior to get what they want. But your baby is too young to purposefully manipulate or annoy you. He cries to communicate his needs, whether they're for a snack, a dry diaper, or a little cuddling with Mom or Dad. When you respond quickly to your baby, you're building his sense of self-worth. You're also establishing a foundation of trust that can last for years to come. If you give your baby prompt attention, he'll feel more secure and less anxious, giving him the courage to explore the world on his own. And once he understands that you take his cries seriously, he'll be less likely to cry for no reason. In the long run, responding quickly to your baby's needs will make him less clingy and demanding, not more.By the time your baby is 6 to 8 months old, he'll be paying close attention to cause and effect — noticing, for instance, that his bowl falls when he drops it from the highchair. He'll also start to see a direct link between his actions and your responses. At this point it's okay to set some limits. If your baby starts crying to get something he doesn't need, hold your ground and give him a hug when he calms down. Similarly, give hugs and praise for good behavior and gently redirect him when he's doing something hazardous.The right blend of love and guidance will eventually help your child understand his place in the world. But for now, your focus should be on giving him as much attention and comfort as you can. No matter how much you give, it's not more than he needs.

I totally disagree. You can't tell me by rocking your child to bed every time its time to go down or carrying them EVERYWHERE or running to them the second they make a peep isn't "spoiling them." If it wasn't then why are there so many women on here that say they carried their babies in a wrap so much that they can't put them down for a second. Or they rocked them to sleep every time and now they won't go to sleep on their own. Maybe you can't "spoil" them but you are developing habits immediately. That's why I can lay my daughter down her in bassinet at nap time-wide awake- and she slowly drifts off to sleep without making a peep. (And no I didn't make her CIO to get her there) I developed our own "habits."

I totally disagree. You can't tell me by rocking your child to bed every time its time to go down or carrying them EVERYWHERE or running to them the second they make a peep isn't "spoiling them." If it wasn't then why are there so many women on here that say they carried their babies in a wrap so much that they can't put them down for a second. Or they rocked them to sleep every time and now they won't go to sleep on their own. Maybe you can't "spoil" them but you are developing habits immediately. That's why I can lay my daughter down her in bassinet at nap time-wide awake- and she slowly drifts off to sleep without making a peep. (And no I didn't make her CIO to get her there) I developed our own "habits."

I agree with twin1114. Your baby learns so quickly to develop habits and unlearning them is traumatic and unnecessary. Your baby can learn bad habits this early as the parents whose baby won't sleep without them, or anywhere except a rock n play or etc. so in that sense you can spoil your baby and make every day life harder for yourself. I know I can shower, garden, cook, clean AND work from home because my baby has set nap times and I can plan my day. It's not difficult to do honestly. Everyone can have this kind if routine or free time.

I agree with twin1114. Your baby learns so quickly to develop habits and unlearning them is traumatic and unnecessary. Your baby can learn bad habits this early as the parents whose baby won't sleep without them, or anywhere except a rock n play or etc. so in that sense you can spoil your baby and make every day life harder for yourself. I know I can shower, garden, cook, clean AND work from home because my baby has set nap times and I can plan my day. It's not difficult to do honestly. Everyone can have this kind if routine or free time.

Well my baby is spoiled and shes only 11 wks old. Even her pedi said so. Maybe shes just advanced lol she is almost sitting and if her legs were a lil stronger and her head not so big the doc said shed prolly b walking since she moves her feet forward and alternates them right :P

Well my baby is spoiled and shes only 11 wks old. Even her pedi said so. Maybe shes just advanced lol she is almost sitting and if her legs were a lil stronger and her head not so big the doc said shed prolly b walking since she moves her feet forward and alternates them right :P

Bravo snowflake3!!!! I'm trusting my instincts as a mother rather than relying on "experts" since there are so many varying opinions between the experts. If something doesn't feel right for me I don't do it. And right now LO is 2 months old today and it doesn't feel right to let him cry. I don't pick him up the moment he starts whimpering but I do go to him and talk to him and put my hand on him. It reassures him to know I'm still there and often times I can calm him down before he gets to the red faced crying stage this way. Other times he's upset I might not be able to calm him this way so I pick him up. Sometimes young babies just need comfort. I just go with what seems right without worrying that I'm spoiling a baby at 2 months old. As a result, I get stretches of time to myself to get things done now because he is content sometimes to take a nap easily or to quietly play and coo and look at his mobile in the crib. I believe on some level he already realizes that I will not ever let him go hungry or cold or wet or scared, and so he's giving me time to myself while playing contentedly. Maybe I'm wrong and will end up regretting it one day, but I don't think so. It works for us. I say trust your instinct and if something doesn't feel right try something else.

Bravo snowflake3!!!! I'm trusting my instincts as a mother rather than relying on "experts" since there are so many varying opinions between the experts. If something doesn't feel right for me I don't do it. And right now LO is 2 months old today and it doesn't feel right to let him cry. I don't pick him up the moment he starts whimpering but I do go to him and talk to him and put my hand on him. It reassures him to know I'm still there and often times I can calm him down before he gets to the red faced crying stage this way. Other times he's upset I might not be able to calm him this way so I pick him up. Sometimes young babies just need comfort. I just go with what seems right without worrying that I'm spoiling a baby at 2 months old. As a result, I get stretches of time to myself to get things done now because he is content sometimes to take a nap easily or to quietly play and coo and look at his mobile in the crib. I believe on some level he already realizes that I will not ever let him go hungry or cold or wet or scared, and so he's giving me time to myself while playing contentedly. Maybe I'm wrong and will end up regretting it one day, but I don't think so. It works for us. I say trust your instinct and if something doesn't feel right try something else.

lol I guess I "spoil," my Lo by constantly giving her all the love, attention and affection she needs. she sleeps either in her bassinet next to me or in my bed. with that being said I am blessed that she has a routine that allows me to clean, cook, shower and play with my 2yr old. at this stage I couldn't imagine doing this any other way. I've done the same with my two older children and they are far from spoiled. once the six month mark hit they were transitioned from my room to their own and boundaries and rules were set. I feel that closeness during the first six months has helped my girls to know how much I love them and will always be there for them when they need me. now I'm not saying this bond can't be achieved with other methods. this just works well for myself and ny children. each baby is different and requires a different approach... some need constant attention. while others are more comfortable with more independence. I do believe that at this age they are crying out of a need not just a want. which is when manipulation starts and is a slippery slope to a spoiled child.

lol I guess I "spoil," my Lo by constantly giving her all the love, attention and affection she needs. she sleeps either in her bassinet next to me or in my bed. with that being said I am blessed that she has a routine that allows me to clean, cook, shower and play with my 2yr old. at this stage I couldn't imagine doing this any other way. I've done the same with my two older children and they are far from spoiled. once the six month mark hit they were transitioned from my room to their own and boundaries and rules were set. I feel that closeness during the first six months has helped my girls to know how much I love them and will always be there for them when they need me. now I'm not saying this bond can't be achieved with other methods. this just works well for myself and ny children. each baby is different and requires a different approach... some need constant attention. while others are more comfortable with more independence. I do believe that at this age they are crying out of a need not just a want. which is when manipulation starts and is a slippery slope to a spoiled child.

ccf478, I agree, it's an instinct, about getting needs met and learning their behaviors. My cousin has read every parenting book ever written and now has conflicting "professional" advice and doesn't know which direction to go. It's like that parental instinct is gone.

ccf478, I agree, it's an instinct, about getting needs met and learning their behaviors. My cousin has read every parenting book ever written and now has conflicting "professional" advice and doesn't know which direction to go. It's like that parental instinct is gone.

I give my daughter all the love and attention she needs too but I still put her to sleep awake, let her cry for a few minutes at a time and don't run to her every whimper. I don't think she's trying to manipulate me when she screams whenever she's put down, she truly thinks she needs held every waking hour but I'm teaching her she doesn't and it's slowly working. She's a high maintenance baby and completely different from DS but I still love her to pieces and we enjoy cuddles. I agree 100% with twin114. Xx

I give my daughter all the love and attention she needs too but I still put her to sleep awake, let her cry for a few minutes at a time and don't run to her every whimper. I don't think she's trying to manipulate me when she screams whenever she's put down, she truly thinks she needs held every waking hour but I'm teaching her she doesn't and it's slowly working. She's a high maintenance baby and completely different from DS but I still love her to pieces and we enjoy cuddles. I agree 100% with twin114. Xx

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