David Hasselhoff gets alcohol poisoning

David Hasselhoff had a relapse in his battle with alcoholism and was admitted to Cedars-Sinai Hospital yesterday where he was treated for alcohol poisoning. David is currently in a custody battle with his ex, Pamela Bach. TMZ reports:

No word on how the latest lapse will affect custody. A judge awarded physical custody of the kids to Hoff, but we’re told for the last five weeks they’ve been living pretty much full-time with David’s ex, Pamela Bach, while he was in Europe shooting “Anaconda 3.” We’re told he had “infrequent contact” with his daughters, something Hoff’s people dispute.

David Hasselhoff is having a tough time with the booze. Yeah, that’s terrible, but let me tell you about the real tragedy here. They’re making Anaconda 3. C’mon! I’d rather pass a kidney stone then sit through that movie. Is this a franchise that really needs a third installment? But, hey, it stars David Hasselhoff, so at least they’re adding some star-power to this one.

Edit: So, I just learned that you pass kidney stones through your urethra. One ticket to Anaconda 3, please. Besides man sauce and urine, there’s only one other thing that comes out of my urethra: Laser beams.

Edit: Okay, maybe one time Chinese throwing stars shot out of it. But that’s where I draw the line.

Edit: Alright, alright. Yes, during a full moon, I shot a silver bullet out of it and killed a werewolf. But, seriously, that’s it.

i wanna you to prove the laser beam thing. i want to see it. not ‘it’ – just the beam. cover the rest with a paper bag ok? i dread to think what it looks like after shooting a cannonball out of your urethra. are you still able to hold pee in? basically your penis must be the equivalent of a women’s lady garden after giving birth to 50 children. peace.

Holy fuck, that is so funny! You’d think that an alcoholic with the amount of experience that, say, a David Hasselhoff has would be slightly better at judging how much they can drink without getting drunk-sick. Funny! Michael Knight: “Kitt, you’re gonna have to drive me to Cedars-Sinai, buddy. I’m pissing, throwing-up, and shitting, all at once.”

I agree. This is not about Britney and therefore unaccectable. She’s the only thing that matters and now thanks to you, I don’t know what’s she done in the last five minutes because I’m reading about the Hoff instead. Sure, he’s good for a laugh, but can he rub my eyes with a porcupine AND give me pink eye?? I didn’t think so.