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Rudderless.

I’ve had some trouble conjuring anything to write here. The problem is that there’s no underlying theme to draw from; my thoughts have been all over the map lately. This has been reflected in the way I’ve spent my time.

One day I grind my ass off, the next I’m crafting an outline for a yet-to-be-written book. One day I’m up at the crack of dawn, driving down to AC determined to dominate, the next I lay in bed all day reading. One day I gorge on MTT training videos in an effort to cure my maddening futility in online tourneys, the next day I’m pondering some business opportunities and thinking my old life as a suit wasn’t really that bad.

For those keeping score, my bottom line this year is about break even. I’ve had success in fits and starts—I won a small tournament at Mohegan Sun and came fourth in a big $500 event at Borgata (neither of which got any play on this blog), so it’s not all doom and gloom—but I’m used to having more success than this. The upcoming summer-long WSOP is likely not only to have a disproportionate impact on my 2010 income, it may also shape my future in a larger sense. My summertime plans were just solidified. I leave on Memorial Day.

The last time I was having the proverbial “bad year” at the start of the WSOP, I ended up hitting for what remains to this day my biggest score, so perhaps history will repeat itself. But perhaps it won’t, which would be okay too.

In the immediate future I’ll probably tune up for the WSOP with a couple of Foxwoods and Harrah’s events. And I’ll probably continue to get drubbed online, I’m a glutton like that.

I find that the best way to find a rudder is to need one. but unless pressure helps you play better, i’d try and avoid attaching the air of destiny to this summer’s wsop. it’s all poker, the same game every game you’ve ever played. good luck out there, i wish you all the best

I don’t believe in destiny. I guess what I’ve written is deceptive because I do have a decent grasp on my current emotional state even if my thoughts are scattered. Win or lose, I know that I’ll be taking a break from poker once I complete my WSOP schedule. It’ll likely be a long break if my results are poor, and that’s precisely because the SS ME has a couple of rudders/options.