I have been a fan of a certain writer for years now. Got to know her online, she introduced me to some major talent in the art field. What drew me to her? Her huge tits. When you put yourself out there as an author, then change your Facebook pic to you wearing a super-tight “geek shirt“, you lose some points in the artistic realm.

What got me on this tit rant was this woman’s newest update to her Kickstarter. She started this series of books years ago. I have always supported her. My problem is… She treats her novel as a comic book! Yeah, there are heroes and superhuman fights, but as each book has come along, she started adding more artwork. Not just to the book, but as incentives to pledge. Her books have become novels with concept art pages in the center. Fluff!

If that wasn’t enough, her stretch goals. Useless comi-con bling. T-shirts, art cards (each from famous comic artists), zipper bobs. Zipper bobs?! WTF is that and what does it have to do with the story? This is from her own website…

In addition to the novel itself, the book features an art gallery with original character designs by artists from Marvel, DC, Dark Horse and Image: Barry Kitson, Dan Panosian, Dave Johnson, Mark McKenna, Natasha Allegri, Jason Baroody, Derek Laufman, Thor Mangila and Jon ‘Roc’ Upchurch – as well as YouTube personality Comic Book Girl 19.

So she wrote a book… And had everyone else do the hard work!

My biggest hate of this new breed of writer is Kickstarter. You only have to have a basic outline of a story to get thousands of horny teens to pony up $50,000 K for a novel that isn’t even written yet. If you would stop fucking around with designers, 3 editors and trips South of the Border, this last book of the trilogy would be finished. Part one was OK. Part two? I couldn’t stomach it.

So today, when she put up her video update, I called her and all writers out on not having a story before you raised the money. I joked about her boobs and how her vacation photos would be in my inbox soon. Joking with her as I always do.

I get berated.

Give me $50K. I would sit in a cabin for a month and bang out something pretty cool. I would use that money to support myself and expenses, not t-shirts and stickers. There is time for all that if you can get a movie deal out of this trilogy. I am in a piss mood anyway so fuck it. Let the boobs win. I like boobs and hate having my feelings for them used to sell something I am not interested in.

I happened upon an élite screening of the upcoming CW series, The Flash. All in all it was a pretty solid show, this coming from a guy who usually says “Make mine Marvel.”. If you watched the extended trailer for the show, well you saw just about ALL the action in the premier. That being said, the show does have great character development. A certain police officers daughter could use some more acting chops, but who cares?

Here is the ending easter egg for you….

Here at S.T.A.R. labs, we have “Wheels“. (I am calling him that.)

Wheels has a secret room!

I can make fun of this guy by calling him Wheels because this happens.

It is a MIRACLE! He also has a button.

What does this button do? Well it brings up a holographic image of a newspaper. Look at the date, Headline and sidebar column.

Flashpoint anyone?

What the hell is DC doing? Marvel has a plan, DC seems like they are throwing things at the wall to see what sticks. With the Batman V Superman movie containing Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Bats and Supes (And God knows who else), their TV side has Arrow, who made a cameo in The Flash, Gotham babies and a prospect of a Batman in this series, WTF? Bless them, oh this is gonna get messy.

Quit smoking that is.

Kerri Kasem has opened a new store(smoke bar?) down in Hollywood. called Good Vapor. Photos on the website look great. The place is clean and trendy and the people amazing. I recently spoke to Jesse, my nemesis in the daily struggle for Kerri’s affection (He has already won and I truly like the guy), and he gave me the rundown on all things Vapor.

They have an extensive menu of healthy alternatives to tobacco and top of the line vaporizers at very good prices. So a Pro-kit is zooming my way, and if I can stretch this last pack of cigarettes, I will soon be smoke free. No more spending $5+ a day for the sticks of death. I am totally committing myself to doing this. My health sucks as it is so doing this will make me feel so much better. I will give you my review of the vaporizer after I get it.

Don’t forget to check out my last post about her new Kasem Cares Foundation. It is a sad situation but also inspiring with the way she is fighting back. The best part about it is, you can help!

So head on down there, visit the site, call (310) 276-1788 or email them at GoodVaporBeverlyHills@Gmail.com

Just for a minute, I am going to assume that everyone who reads this had a good relationship with their fathers OK?

Kerri Kasem

Everyone of us clashed with our dads at one time or another, it is natural teen angst. My dad was a tough as nails military man, while I was a long-haired, tattooed, wannabe rock star. He must have hated it. Yeah, he would threaten me with a trip to the Army barber now and then, but I gave him good cause. One day he had to take off from work (in the army), drive half an hour to the Nuremberg police station and pick me up. I had been caught with friends skipping school and we were wandering around the Red Light District, just looking. That was the longest drive home ever.

Dad didn’t yell. The whole trip back was silence. I squirmed in my seat, coughed and tried to stop the squirming and be as still as possible. When we got home, he would let me have it. He was never violent, I got the belt maybe twice in my life and those times it was for something worse than looking at hookers. Imagine a 30 year, Vietnam vet. Combat tried and tested yelling at you. Pretty scary. Guess what I did? Fainted. BAM! Flat on my face and slowly woken by our dog licking my face. It wasn’t over though. Because I fainted, the discussion turned to “Are you on drugs?”. I wasn’t, I was scared. Finally he dismissed me to my room. I put on some Motley Crue and tried to relax, cursing my dad for not understanding me.

My dad is gone now, passed years ago but I still miss him every day. I would give anything to have just a few more hours to really talk to him. This is similar to the spot my friend Kerri Kasem is in now, but she has hope. Her dad, the legendary radio and TV host of American Top 40 Casey Kasem, is in poor health. His wife (you may or may not remember her from that horrendous Cheers spin-off The Tortellis) Jean Kasem, has been blocking Casey’s children from seeing him. I really hate to say this, and it pains me to do so, but Casey Kasem is not long for this Earth. A man is dying and is ditz wife bars his kids from even seeing him without an armed guard present! She has even gone to the lengths as to brag that she was about to star on the next season of Housewives of Beverly Hills! Made a fake Facebook account under Casey Kasem’s name just to trick people into tweeting their support for her in this role. REALITY CHECK! Casey Kasem does not use the computer, he unfortunately can’t. Also, he is a man of such standards he would never peddle trash like that. Never in my life have I ever heard an ill word spoken of him. And because of that formerly blond (yet still a) bimbo, his children don’t get to spent the right kind of time with a father who is near his end.

“Well I heard it was about the kids wanting money.”, wrong! Kerri has money, her sister does as well. Kerri’s brother is the number one radio host in Singapore and has two TV shows! They don’t want money, they just wanna see their dad. Casey raised them right. Last night on KABC talk radio, Kerri recounted her childhood. She didn’t have the regular Hollywood kid upbringing. Casey never gave her a credit card to go buy frivolous things, if she wanted something Casey told her to work for it. Boy has she taken that to heart now.

Kerri’s sister signed an agreement, but Kerri would not. I believe she was right in refusing as no child should have to bargain, beg or sign away a parent. With that, she decided to fight, to go to work. Sure she could have just gone to court and had her own battle, but she knows that there are thousands out there in her exact situation. There are no laws for a judge to rule on for children’s rights when it comes to ailing parents. Kerri and her layer Troy Martin, have partnered with Assemblyman Mike Gatto who is sponsoring the new bill aimed at giving children the right to see their ailing parent. She has started a foundation, Kasem Cares and is taking donations to help pay lobbyists and get this law passed as fast as she can. She is short on time and knows it, but she also wants to hear from you. She wants your story if you have been in this situation or still are. She fights not only to see her dad, but to make sure others don’t have to endure the heartache she has.

I would also ask you to tweet Assemblyman Mike Gatto @mikegatto and thank him, use the hashtag #ThisBillShallPass Go to Kerri Kasem’s Facebook and give her your stories and support. She really reads everything you post there. Donate at KasemCares.org Do something. I would give anything for just one moment with my dad, don’t let her moments be taken by formed, wannabe actress. (I am so pissed at her, sorry)

Last year, legendaryinker Mark McKenna revived his one shot comic “Combat Jacks” but did like any good movie director does, made that one a Directors Cut. Now he is raising funds to continue the story of tough space marines vs evil pumpkin=like creatures. What are they? Are they the offshoot of earthly gourds? Well donate and find out. He has some amazing original art up as rewards, even women shoes with the comic print on them. Crazy!

Like this:

that I was going to do something BIG this year? I also mentioned a book. Well I am not going to jinx it by telling you what it is, but I will say these words. Reno, contracts, awesome. I will update more as things get finalized. Wish me luck.