Do you like Batman and/or chess? Do you have $800? Are you and your money soon parted? If you said yes to all three of these questions, then I'm happy to present your next completely unnecessary purchase: the $800 Batman chess set from The Noble Collection. From the official description:

A press of the Batman symbol illuminates 50 LED lights encircling the clear playing surface that lights the board, the Gotham cityscape underneath and projects a Bat-Signal to the sky. No detail has been overlooked in this ultimate Batman collector's chess set. The joker, Catwoman, Riddler and penguin battle Batman, Robin, Batgirl and commissioner Gordon. The oversized board measures 20 inches in length on each side. Playing pieces measure between 2 1/2 to 5 1/2 inches tall and are made in fine pewter and diecast metal.

Let's see here: So Batman and Batgirl are the good guys' king and queen, with Robin and Commissioner Gordon as bishops — that gives Barbara Gordon more credit than DC usually does, but whatever. The knights are Batmobiles, the rooks Wayne Towers, and the pawns Bat-signals, as ifs Batman had Bat-signals littering Gotham City. As for the bad guys' side, that's obviously Joker and Catwoman as king and queen — we all know how well they usually get along — and Riddler and Penguin as bishops. But what are the knights? Is that some kind of Joker-mobile? And are the rooks supposed to be Axis Chemicals skyscrapers, which the company decided to have emblazoned with the face of the psychotic, mass-murdering clown that was created in one of its chemical plants? Seems like a bad PR move to me. And I feel like there are thousands of low-level thugs crushed who are completely crushed that they've been replaced as pawns by a gaggle of Joker-bombs.

I admit, the fact that the chessboard itself works as a mini-Bat-signal is pretty awesome, although I can see how that might be a little distracting to some players. Anyways, you can purchase the set here for a mere $795. Or you can hunt down an actual Bat-signal replica online and but a cheap chessboard for way less than $200. Or you can just play chess and read a Batman comic for about $20. Your call.