September 2009

September 21, 2009

In case you missed the pretty hilarious news, Serena's going to featured in a Tampax tampon campaign. Apparently the ads were in the works before her totally non-PMSy outburst at the USO. I mean, there's *no way* anyone could crack a PMS joke there, could they? Could they?

God, I would have loved to have been in the conference room with the ad guys when Serena went all mensal. Either it was the best thing that could have happened to them, or the worse. Either way, it's the joke that just keeps on giving.

"I will shove this fucking tampon up your fucking vag! I swear to God! You do not know me." Classic.

Justine's apparently coming back, y'all. She's going to announce it on Tuesday and word is that Carlos will, once again, be by her side. So the woman who introduced the "ZOMG I HAVE TO LOOK AT MY COACH ALL THE TIME" winning technique that Dinara has now perfected will back on the circuit in 2010. Boy, Australia's gonna be something. Tom Perrotta's got some interesting thoughts on why it'll be harder for her to come back as compared to Kim.

Can we really be all that surprised by this? I think it's actually funny that Kim's USO win, at least for me, totally takes the wind out of the sails of Justine's announcement. Though I've had mad respect for her, I've never been a Justine fan. So I'm pretty apathetic towards this whole thing.

Well, that's not true. I'm not apathetic. I'm affirmatively sad. Because who knows if we'll ever get this stuff again:

Trust me, I'm still recovering, and thanks for all the well wishes. That was very sweet. I got a good amount of sleep this weekend, primarily by finding streams of the Switzerland tie. That was really helpful. But clearly I ended up in some drug induced daze (or perhaps watching Fed play Davis Cup put me into a uberdeep level of REM sleep that I've never experienced) because I had some crazy wacked out dreams that I can't make heads or tails of.

I found myself mildly attracted to Nicolas "Please put a bag over your face" MasWho.

I vaguely recall something about GB being relegated to Zonal.

I got warm fuzzies as Team Serbia avoided relegation as Nole cheered on.

September 15, 2009

Nice USO wrap-up from Steve Tignor. I particularly liked his take on Elf and Kim:

The woman sitting next to me, who was coming from
somewhere else, said, “Did you see del Potro?”

“Yes, I saw him.”

“I liked to watch him when he won,” she said, and put her
hands over her face to imitate his emotional reaction after the final point.
She had hit it: That was why I wanted to see more tennis, to see that emotion
and relief that only a player who has won his first major can conjure. It doesn’t
happen all that often nowadays, which only made the last moments of yesterday’s
final that much more exhilarating. Thanks for sharing it with us, DP.

...

While I’m surprised she beat both Williams
sisters and went all the way so soon, I knew she would bounce back with no
trouble. As with Jennifer Capriati in her comeback at the start of the decade,
if you can hit big and through the court on the women’s tour, you always have a chance.
Kim can do that, and she can move with a gymnast’s sure-footedness—she seemed
to enjoy scaling the wall to get to her husband after the final as much as
anything she did on court. More important, she put a smile back on the face of
women’s tennis a day after Serena had scowled her way out of the tournament.
The trophy ceremony was a love fest and a big welcome back for a favorite of
everyone involved in the sport. Her daughter danced, Mary Jo gave her a hug,
and the guy crying next to her husband was John Dolan, a WTA pr guy who has had
more than his fill of pro egos, but who couldn’t help but become a friend of Kim’s.
Would she have beaten Serena anyway? It’s not a lock, given Williams’ history of returns
from the dead. But Clijsters deserved the win anyway. You should get
something for not dropping an f-bomb at a line judge, shouldn’t you?

Can't believe I missed this the first time. Yaroslava Shvedova, who was born in Russia, on her Kazakhstani citizenship:

Q. When did you move to Kazakhstan? YAROSLAVA SHVEDOVA: I
was thinking like last year, like to move somewhere because I was like
coming up and start to improving my game. In Russia was difficult to
practice, difficult, because I was like 15 in the country in the WTA
ranking, and it was like Federation didn't help. I don't have
opportunity to play Fed Cups, maybe Olympics.
Kazakhstan like came to me and ask me if I want to represent
Kazakhstan. I said, Yeah, why not? Because I always wanted to represent
a country and play Olympics, play Fed Cups, because I love team
competitions. And I was like so happy for my change.

Q. Do you have ties to Kazakhstan otherwise? Do you have a connection to Kazakhstan before?
YAROSLAVA SHVEDOVA: No. Because I born in USSR, it was one country
before. They have like international rule when country splits, it's
mean like if you born in previous country, you become like resident of
each parts was split, and you can change your passport.
Because I born in Moscow, I just become Russian. So I had the chance to
change once, like Likhovtseva, she was born in Kazakhstan, she changed
her passport to Russian. It was like before.

When I first saw Clijsters, I groaned. I thought: very good athlete,
excellent movement for a girl so thickly built, a game with roughly the
same degree of sex appeal as curling, but without the wacky bits that
make curling fun to watch for 30 seconds. She might have moved me off
my position if she had showed some heart and drive, won me over with
her competitive character, but as time went on it became apparent to me
that she was one of the least inspired players I've ever watched.

So...you're saying you're not a fan. Got it.

It's so perplexing. I would hope that the good people of FD know that any ire I direct towards a player is completely in jest and really, for comedic storytelling purposes only. I mean, what's the fun of a narrative without a villain, right?

But this post isn't trying to be funny. It isn't poking fun. It's just plain mean and unnecessarily judgmental. Kim clearly, at some point in her career, must have taken a shit on Pete's head. That's the only explanation for this level of disdain. I wasn't even a Kim fan back in the day and I found it really uncomfortable to read.

It reeks of a guy who's been rejected by a girl and goes around telling everyone she was borderline retarded.

So yesterday, while watching the final, I noticed Michelle Collins, Managing Editor for Best Week Ever was all of a sudden tweeting about tennis. And that made me happy. Because seriously, you guys, I LOVE HER. You know what made me happier? The fact that she was totally digging on Elf:

We exchanged a couple of additional tweets and then I tweeted her afterwards:

But just who is this JMDelP character who would almost certainly be
obliterated by the animatronic Federer? Measuring in a 6′6″ tall, he’s
a handsome gentleman with a mature, well-bred face, sinewy caramel logs
for arms, giant, Road Runner circle feet, and a determined will. Also,
he’s only 20 years old, making this last sentence possibly illegal and
worthy of a sex offenders registry. It became clear that rooting for
this Argentinian wunderkind was the only way to go.

...

Watching this giant hot man child cry tears of exhaustion and joy was
easily one of the most rewarding things this lil’ lady has ever
witnessed. It was like the end of Rudy, only with a giant testosterone wolf-faced totem pole in place of the delicate Sean Astin.

Apologies for the silence on the podcast front. We actually did an extensive one during the Toronto/Cincy tournaments but technical issues rendered it useless.

In an attempt to make it up to all you 5 podcast fans (and really, that's including the 4 of us), I now present you a Super Sized FD podcast, which wraps up the USO and looks forward to the end of the season.

And seriously, that's an hour and a half of pure tennis analysis. We were totally on topic this time.

FYI -- You can now listen to the podcasts from the page (click on the blue arrow) and subscribe to the FD podcast feed (look for the link on the upper right above my Twitter updates). You can still download them by right clicking the link.

Hours later and I still can't believe it actually happened, which is totally unfair to Elfie. Here's a guy who has had a steady and workmanlike ascent through the rankings to reach #5. He has gone from being the unfit teen who was reduced to tears by Andy Murray a couple of years ago and embarrassed by Roger Federer only 9 months ago, to being a guy who has taken the last three matches from Rafa on hard courts, pushed Fed to five sets on clay, beating A-Rod twice in a week, pushing Muzz in a tough three setter in Montreal, and dusting his way through the USO draw.

And yet despite all of that I, as well as everyone else (except perhaps one *very* happy British woman) completely wrote him off for the final. No way this giant lug could beat the Maestro/The Federer/Rog. Fed was on a tear and it just didn't seem like Elf's time quite yet.

And for the second day in a row I am absolutely ecstatic when I say this: I was wrong.

DelPo would continue the form that took out Rafa in straights into the final. Except this time, when things got tight and he got down, he didn't throw up his hands and say "too good". He kept fighting, sticking to his game plan (BIG FOREHAND), and playing within himself. And as he did, he somehow wore down TMF and made him look...well...not so much TM.

It was a weird match all around for Roger. His lights out serving, which had previously shown no signs of wobbling, all of a sudden wobbled. Dude couldn't buy a first serve through the first few sets. That combined double digit double faults at key moments, as well as DelPo's lethal returning, ultimately led to Fed barely spinning serves in the fifth set. And once that serve went away, Fed looked concerned. That last set was an AO 09 redux. The forehand was flying all over the place and Fed looked frustrated.

So there you go. One of the most improbable upsets in a damn long time.

I'm not going to pretend that the entire tennis world is happy about this result. But no matter how cold your heart is, you can't ignore the feel-goodiness of this result.

And if you're still pissy about it, I give you the children of Tandil. Come on.

Is the sound of Serena's sponsors' sabers rattling at 9am this morning.

Serena's new and improved "amended" statement:

Hey guys!!!

I want to amend my press statement of yesterday, and want
to make it clear as possible - I want to sincerely apologize FIRST to
the lines woman, Kim Clijsters, the USTA, and tennis fans everywhere
for my inappropriate outburst. I'm a woman of great pride, faith and
integrity, and I admit when I'm wrong.

I need to make it clear to all young people that I handled
myself inappropriately and it's not the way to act -- win or lose, good
call or bad call in any sport, in any manner.

I like to lead by example. We all learn from experiences
both good and bad. I will learn and grow from this, and be a better
person as a result.

Xxxx,

S

Nice to see you've really taken the time to think about this whole situation and let people move on. Oh, except that there's no reason you couldn't have said this yesterday, you know, before the women's final was played so that we could all move on and simply celebrate the good stuff that came out of the USO.

Get. Out. Of the spotlight. It's tacky as fuck.

In case you missed it, here was her original statement:

“Last night everyone could truly see the passion I have for my job.
Now that I have had time to gain my composure, I can see that while
I don’t agree with the unfair line call, in the heat of battle I let my
passion and emotion get the better of me and as a result handled the
situation poorly. I would like to thank my fans and supporters for
understanding that I am human and I look forward to continuing the
journey, both professionally and personally, with you all as I move
forward and grow from this experience.”

September 13, 2009

Back when Kim was about to start her comeback I think I came out and
pretty well said that anyone on the Kimmy bandwagon was crazy. There
was no way that she was going to be able to compete with these girls
who hit harder, were stronger, were fitter, than the competition 4
years ago.

To quote Pam Shriver, "Boy, I have never been more happy to be wrong."

A lot is going to be said about what this means. Fuck it. You know what this means? It means that Kim Clijsters went through a tough draw, beat both Williamses, used her awesome forehand and movement to break down her opponents and win her second Slam. She's won 14 straight matches at the US Open. This is a hell of an achievement from a women that everyone thought at some point was too nice to win *a* Slam, let alone two. She was heady, competitive, and mature. She deserves this and no one should take that away from her. Put the asterisks away, assholes.

Not that Kim's going to care. She's got that bundle of awesome to come home to.

Shit the pants, Jada. You and your Mama earned it.

As for Caro, she acquitted herself well. She didn't roll over for Kim and she has a lot to be proud of. It still trips me out that she's the first out of that young set to get to Slam final. I thought she handled the occasion well. She could have easily pulled an Ana RG 07 and wigged out on that grand stage but she didn't. Loved the beaming smiles from Papa and Mama Wozniacki, too. They raised themselves a good multilingual one.

I'm really glad that these two women put a nice feel-good Coda on this tournament, which could have easily been marred by all the insanity of the past two weeks. Great sportsmanship and respect between these two likeable players.

Ok, yes, it was a sweet shot. But "the best shot I've hit in my life"? I haven't even watched all that many Fed matches but I can count at least 20 shots that were more insane. But whatever floats your dick, Fed.

As for Nole, he was *so* there. He played well enough to put himself into position to take each set. But I think this match highlights what I will call, The Nole Conundrum.

Novak cares about the crowd. We all know that. He wants to be loved and he wants to be cheered for. And if this tournament will be known for anything other than 16, The Shot, The Abs, or The Failure, it will be known for Nole's Redemption. He finally played with a smile on his face and with an eye towards entertaining the crowd. No shame in any of that and I love him for all of it.

But we also know there's another side of Nole. And that is the fiery, ultra competitive, I want to beat you badly and piss in your skull side. In order for him to win Slams, he absolutely needs to let that dog out. He has to scream, pound his chest, get that crazy "I'm gonna kill you" look in his eyes. But he's so burned by what happened last year in the Roddick match that in these tight moments, against crowd faves like Fed, he refuses to let that guy take over.

And to me, that was the difference in this match. At the key moments Nole couldn't/wouldn't play with the necessary intensity. And he refused to vocalize his intent and get into Fed's head. His lack of fire made the match a foregone conclusion, despite the close scoreline.

I love Novak. Always have. And I'll continue to root for him in any match he plays (yes, even if it's against Rafa or Muzz). But if he can't figure out how to solve his Jekyl/Hyde problem he'll never win another Slam, and that to me would make him a huge underachiever.

And so Fed gets a crack at 16 against Elfie tomorrow. He hasn't lost at the USO in like, 3,000 days. So let the suspense build accordingly.

“Last night everyone could truly see the passion I have for my job. Now that I have had time to gain my composure, I can see that while
I don’t agree with the unfair line call, in the heat of battle I let my
passion and emotion get the better of me and as a result handled the
situation poorly. I would like to thank my fans and supporters for
understanding that I am human and I look forward to continuing the
journey, both professionally and personally, with you all as I move
forward and grow from this experience.”

Is that supposed to be an apology? I fully expected Serena to come out today and issue an apology. This, combined with the pithy $10.5k fires me up. I'm ready to move on but Jesus, your brand of crazy is something else, Serna.

I shall be returning my 46 copies of "On The Line" forthwith.

Oh, and here's the WTA's statement:

Serena Williams’ conduct last night was inappropriate and unprofessional. No matter what the circumstances, no player should be allowed to engage in such behavior without suffering consequences. I have spoken with the USTA about this matter and I agree with the action they have taken.

Serena
is a great player who has done so much for our sport and I am certain
she will continue to be a role model to millions of young women who
want to play the game and excel as Serena has done. As a role model,
it's important for a leader like Serena to step forward and recognize
her behavior last night was unacceptable, and I believe that her
statement earlier today is an acknowledgement of her responsibility to
her fans.

Gottta love how carefully worded that statement is. Serena has no responsibility to her fans. That's just stupid and completely irrelevant that she "acknowledged" whatever it is that's supposed to be. What she does have is a responsibility to the sport she plays and to others involved in it. She owes an apology to the lineswoman, plain and simple. It's a damn shame that she doesn't seem to want to acknowledge that.

Congrats to not-Laura-Robson-Brit Heather Watson for taking the Girls' singles title with a 64 61 win.

She and her mom were pretty adorable. She's the first British girl to win the USO championship. Muzzard won the boys' title here 5 years ago. Good stuff and something to be excited about across the pond.

As for the boys, chalk one up for Atomic, who beat American Chase Buchanan, 61 63, for the title.

I'm not convinced that healthy knees or abs would have changed much of this result. This was a straight set dominating victory any way you slice it. Elf served well, hit big, and ran Rafa absolutely ragged. And Rafa had no solution. Elf successfully pulled Rafa wide with his serve so many times and Rafa couldn't do anything about it.

Well done, Elfie. Now do me a favor and actually back this shit up tomorrow. Something tells me...you won't.

Rafa's dropped his last two matches against Elf, first in that infamous Miami match and then a few weeks ago in Montreal. Fed has finally snapped his Nole streak, beating him recently in the Cincy final.

Sometimes it's not always about Serena, despite what she says sometimes. While she took center stage for all the wrong reasons last night, let's not forget that Kim played a fantastic match and by all accounts she deserved to win. She earned that first set racquet smash from Serena by just playing steady, hitting the lines and deep, and tracking down everything to make Serena hit one more shot. She deserved this and it's a shame that she didn't get her chance to celebrate.

Meanwhile, on a near empty court, Sunshiney Boots earned her way into her first Slam final by beating Yanni 3 and 3. Many congrats to her.

As it is, it'll be a shock if Kim can't break down Boots' game tomorrow. But either way, fantastic runs by both ladies.

"I think Kim played a wonderful match, and I think I played good,
too. I think I could have played better, and I
actually feel like I can go home and I can actually do better, which
I'm really excited about. There's someone out there that makes me want
to go home and makes me want to work out and makes me want to run and
do better. I can't wait to do that.''

September 12, 2009

Not that it makes a difference, but to me, it's the racquet and the pointing that make this a big deal. It's on Serena, for sure. She flew off the handle and the umpire had every right to assess the penalty. I just think it's unfortunate that she did. And for the record, I don't think Alison Lange, Lynn Welch, or Eva Asderaki call this penalty.

So...I've been away from the computer all day and I'm not entirely sure I understand what the hell happened today. Clearly no one told Gonzo that his match was on today and he barely showed up in the 30 minutes it took him to lose 4 straight points in the tiebreak and get bageled in the third.

And then this: Serving at 15-30, 5-6 in the second, Serena apparently foot faults on second serve to go 15-40. She berates the linejudge, waving her racquet at her and saying, apparently, "I will shove this ball down your fucking throat". The umpire summons the linejudge to talk about what happened, and as a result, gives Serena her second unsportsmanlike conduct warning, which leads to a point penalty. On match point.

Jigga what? It's unclear whether Serena foot faulted. As for the point penalty for what she said, I don't know. I just don't think in a tight significant match like this an umpire should issue a point penalty on match point. I totally think Serena was out of line, and I think it was more the gesturing with the racquet, rather than the actual words that were said, that got her in trouble. This is where umpire discretion comes in. This wasn't, as far as I know, a mandatory warning, a la busting a racquet. This is the soccer equivalent to not calling a penalty in the box during overtime unless it's an absolutely egregious foul.

Of course, I haven't seen the match yet so this isn't based on much. Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

You know, watching this now I don't know how I could possibly think they *were* singing.

It was a washed out day in Flushing, despite the USOpen twitter feed imploring us all to "sit tight" and "stay tuned" as play was pushed back in 30 minute increments. Was it all necessary? I doubt it. You're telling me the tournament organizers didn't realize this morning that play would be virtually impossible today?

Neil Harman rightfully calls out the USTA for ignoring the data and creating the situation we have now, wherein the men's final will have to be played on Monday and Rafa and Gonzo are at a distinct disadvantage (they'll have to play three days in a row to win).

Anyone with half an interest in meteorology could have told the US Open
officials that it would start to rain on Thursday evening and that
Friday would be a washout. And what did they do? Schedule not one but
two doubles matches to start the programme on Arthur Ashe Stadium court
on Thursday. Juan Martín del Potro and Marin Cilic had to wait until
mid-afternoon to begin their men’s quarter-final; Nadal and González
started theirs (twice), but at midnight, the court surface greasy once
more, they were sent back to their hotels.

The curse of the night sessions revisited. Rather than see that
fairness prevailed — that a grand-slam tournament actually put the
tennis first — the sport again bowed to its paymasters in television
and had been comprehensively dumped upon.

So here's the news from the USTA. Because of the inclement weather and absolute need to get the women's semis and men's quarterfinal between Rafa and Gonzo completed, play will (at least as of right now) resume at 2pm EST, with all three matches starting simultaneously. Rafa/Gonzo will be on Ashe, Kim/Serena on Armstrong, and Boots/Yanni on Grandstand.

UPDATED: SCRATCH THAT:

As of noon: Now the USTA is hoping for a window at 3pm EST, but if they can't get the matches on by then they may cancel play today, resume tomorrow, and finish the tournament on Monday:

If
Nadal and Gonzalez don’t complete their match Friday, however, both
men’s semifinals would likely be moved to Sunday, Widmaier said, to
prevent the other men’s semifinalists, Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic,
from having a day of rest before Monday’s final. If the women do not
complete their semifinals Friday, the tournament would have to hold the
men’s semifinals and the women’s final on Sunday.