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I am currently enrolled in a Chinese language course at my University where I am a Ph.D. student in the field of Computer Engineering. As I have never studied Chinese language before, it just so happens that it is the first-year first-semester level course.

The class was recently assigned a group project to author and present a discussion in Chinese. As it so happened, one of the more attractive female students in the course expressed the desire to partner with me, which was kind of cool. We decided to meet together yesterday evening to practice the dialog before presenting it in class tomorrow.

As you can probably guess from my major and current academic standing, I don't actually get out much, and am perpetually "married to my work." Because of this, I was genuinely excited simply to be getting out of the house to hang out with a pretty young girl.

Before you assume this is one of those "she broke my heart" whiny threads, it is not - she is a freshman student and I have absolutely no romantic interest in her. The source of my excitement was purely due to the rarity of the event in question, and my hope that getting some face time with the opposite sex would be therapeutic in some way. (For the uninitiated, the male-to-female ratio in Computer Engineering is approximately 10:1, so it had actually been a number of years since I had been in a social situation involving females.)

In any event, I actually left our discussion practice that evening more insulted and angry than I have felt in many years.

To begin, she never really did the work she said that she would do. She was also on her phone the whole time not just texting her friends, but sending them pictures of herself ("Snapchatting"?). She also spent the majority of the time talking shit on other people in the class, and told me at one point that "You're going to fuck up. I have no faith in you" (in regards to memorizing and repeating the dialogue). Finally, after all of that, she had the nerve to ask me for a ride to her dorm so that she didn't have to walk there.

Now, again, I don’t get out very often, so I’m not really sure what to contribute to this girl acting like this. I have considered three theories:

1) She is just an absolute fucking idiot.

This is the easiest thing to blame for her acting this way. She was intentionally being rude and doing this stupid shit to somehow demonstrate I was unimportant to her or just because she generally didn’t give a shit.

2) She is immature and didn’t realize she was being rude.

I’m guessing this is the most probable situation. To me, as a 22-year-old, messaging other people on your phone while you are meeting with someone else is extremely rude. But do younger kids think this is okay? Same with regards to the gossiping and telling me (you know, the Ph.D. student) that I was going to fuck up.

I dated a girl who was three years younger than me when I was in high school (holy shit, would not do again), and my most vivid memories from that time involve me not being able to get mad at her about some of the things that she did or said because she genuinely did not understand the repercussions of her actions due to the fact that she simply didn’t have the real-world maturity to know any better. This situation may be similar.

3) I am out of touch with the rest of society and the things she was doing and saying are considered okay now.

As I said, I seriously don’t get out very often. At my current rate (has been so for the past 2 or 3 years), I attend a social event once every 4 months or so. With technology and society advancing at such a rapid pace now, maybe it’s considered normal to do some of that stuff now and I just don’t know.

Can any of the more outgoing members of the Temp fill me in on what they believe the issue is here so that I can justify my anger if it is indeed well-founded or, if needed, adjust my world-view so that future social encounters don’t end with me being super fucking pissed.

Literally, PityonU. I mean, i'll read that in a bit.. But @title = My sister 100%
At her University, I went with her one day to run away from crazy guests. I joined her lecture. GUESS WHAT? There was this guy hitting on her. And she's asked for his name. He gave a Muslim name, and he did look Muslim. So she's like:
"Asalamualaykum, Hamza brother!"
LOL I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING.
The translation is:
"Peace Be With You, brother Hamza!"
^ Muslim Greeting
---------
I apologize for the off topicness, but now it's time to take a look to your thread....
WHAT THE? She is immature. I hope you didn't give her that ride! Don't mind her shit. Talk to your professor and say that she's not being cooperative at all, and you want to get the work done. I had a similar problem. At the end of grade eight, we had a major project. There was this bitch who kept texting her friend and didn't get anything done. However, she was still being bossy saying that there won't be anything done because of me. I was the one who bought all the materials, did my sections of the poster and she did the work last minute. -.- However, the teacher was noticing and she failed her. And I passed!

As a high school student who at seems to be very much like you, I must say most people these days are just fucking stupid. Nobody teaches the rich kids any manners (Which this girl sounds like a rich snob, at least by stereo typing which happens more often then you think) And this shit is slowly becoming ok in our society and it pisses me off

As a high school student who at seems to be very much like you, I must say most people these days are just fucking stupid. Nobody teaches the rich kids any manners (Which this girl sounds like a rich snob, at least by stereo typing which happens more often then you think) And this shit is slowly becoming ok in our society and it pisses me off

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Don't just generalize like that. I have a friend who's three times richer than me, and he's pretty decent.

I think the 2nd theory is actually the case. Her friends probably don't mind, and so she probably doesn't even realize that she's being rude. As for telling you that you were going to "fuck up", that seems like something that a few of my friends would tell me jokingly (otherwise, they'd tell me the opposite, because of the stereotype of Asians being smart/good at studying). Not all of us are like that, though. Some of us actually have tact.

Being in the age group of the girl whom you are referring to, I can tell you that a lot of them are just really fucking stupid/immature. I couldn't stand a majority of the people I had classes with during high school. I mean, they were booksmart (to a point) but they had 0 common sense/zero manners. I'm sure it'll change while they get older, but right now you'll most likely deal with shit like this.

Also, it's entirely possible this chick is just using you to get an easy A on the project.

Well, as someone who, too, doesn't have much interaction with the opposite gender, in the deep with my profession and can't spend much time socializing, I'd guess #3.
But the fact being, other generations are really rude, fucked up and they don't even know it.
So my best bet is it's all if them at once.

And please take my advice and find yourself not only a girl but also one with lots of common interests with you.
You have no idea how many complain of psychiatric problems building over time in cases like these.

Seems like a typical teenage girl, but jesus you talk like an old man. You're 22, an 18 year old college girl is perfectly within your range...if she's not an immature airheaded moron.
Until you said your age I was assuming you were 30~.

Anyway this is why I hate a majority of people these days. Its not just young kids. I know plenty of people my age and older (i'm 21) that act the same way. This isn't a new thing, our generation has always been like this.

You can quite easily choose to not act upon experience. Indeed it is how I roll most of the time.

Anyway I will offer option 4

First year means you are both 18 and just away from your parents for the first time (though I am not sure how that plays out in a country where the booze is not as free flowing), the course basically means nothing (even on the rare occasions the percentage of first means something it is a tiny one) and that goes double if you have done it before (like say having had it as a home and/or social language for your life up until this point). This means you might make a token effort at doing an assignment but in reality token effort = we got together and I thought about it.

From your description, it's difficult to determine if the root cause is mostly reason #1 or reason #2. However, I highly doubt you need to worry about reason #3. There are many factors that could result in her behavior, but gender is probably not one of them. The maturity level and work effort of the average undergraduate college student are actually fairly low. Even a lot of graduate students suffer from this problem. I would constantly get frustrated at the lack of effort my students would put into their studies, but over time, you begin to realize that everyone has different priorities and that these change over time. Throughout my collegiate and graduate academic career, I was always motivated to outperform everyone else and push myself even further. Most people are not like that. I suggest you inform your teach about the problem and then do the best that you can.

Some of you are insinuating that she is using me to get an easy A. This is not the case. She did actually end up writing the entire dialogue herself. However, she was supposed to have finished it (she voluteered to do it as such - which surprised me) the day before we met to practice. She wrote basically the whole thing during the time we had met to practice. Still, to me, if you say you are going to have something ready on day X, it should be ready on day X, not day Y.

As far as I can tell from the majority of responses, this is simply a matter of differing levels of maturity, and not necessarily a direct slight on her part.

Even though this is the case, I will not be working with her again (my blood pressure can stay where it is, thank you).

Thanks for the feedback, everyone. It's nice to know that I'm not a sociopath... yet.