This is the second day back at school for my kids. I was kind of stricken by how tense I was all day yesterday. It was my youngest daughter's first day of middle school. She got into the public school's technology academy and was going to a different school with none of her friends. I thought it was rather brave.

I'm the youngest of two girls, as is she, and one of the best parts of being the youngest is you don't have to do anything first. All the scary mystery is gone. One of the worst parts of being the youngest? You don't have to do anything first; all the scary mystery is gone. I think as youngest children we get used to having the way paved. So although I was very proud of her for making the decision to go to a different school away from her friends, I was also very afraid for her.

I knew she could do it, but as parents, we know we don't like our kids to be miserable. I also know as parents, we can often steal their confidence by trying to clear the path ahead of them. Someone told me recently, "if we care too much, they have nothing to own."

So I tried to step back and take her lead. I took her to her orientation, I took her back before school started to go through the halls again (at her request), I showed her where she should get off the bus because it was different from where she got on, I showed her the school office (my kids don't have cell phones.) Then I put her on the bus the first day of school and suppressed my urge to follow the bus and track her progress. I clung to my cell phone all day and hit *69 on my phone at home to find out the number of the call I missed. I was on edge all day and I think I popped the tendons in my jaw.

When I picked her up? How was it? "Fine." That's all I got after my tense day, which I couldn't shake into the whole evening. She eventually gave up a little more information: she made a friend, ran into someone she knew, liked her teachers. But it was little satisfaction for my pain. Sigh!