Monday, January 28, 2008

Attention Democrats: Don't waste your votes on Hillary Clinton

Even if she does beat Barack Obama to win her party's nomination to run for president in the fall, she's not going to win. She can't win.

Why not?

Because she's a woman.

And there won't be a woman president of the United States until the year 3000. Now, the fact that it will take another 992 years before we get a woman in the Oval Office may seem hard to believe, but that's the way it is. Don't take my word for it though; I'm just repeating what I heard from Wonder Woman and her mom:

And how do they know what's going to happen so far in the future, anyway? Because it's already happened!

Drop some science on us, William Moulton Marston!

That sounds reasonable.

So does this mean that the Republicans will keep the White House for another term? Or that Barack Obama will be our next president? All we can know for sure is that the next president won't be a woman. So Democrats in the upcoming Super-Tuesday states would do well to give their votes to Obama or John Edwards; otherwise they're just throwing them away.

8 comments:

Scott
said...

What the hell? Everything I've read about Golden Age Wonder Woman claims that Marston created her as a female counter to Superman, a strong female role-model for young girls to aspire to(or young boys to accept domination from). Why in the hell would he then say "Woman president, a thousand years from now and it's a pretty fantastic idea." Couldn't he just as easily had Diana say "Oh, the first female president!" and left the year off, without having to throw sexual equality a thousand years into the future?

Anyway, this prophecy doesn't rule out Hillary being elected and then assassinated by some Republican nutjobs.

I like the things that Hilary says, but the way she says them makes me doubt her sincerity. She seems rather devote of emotion and has mastered the politician-speak that every good Republican knows. At least with Obama, I feel like he's speaking from the heart. A lot of the time I get the same vibe from McCain, too.

Yeah, these are just three panels totally out of context, and I suppose Marston's future of the U.S. is open to interpretation. The way Wondy emphasizes "woman" in the first part makes me think that woman was the first. Diana Prince is the second though!

Jason, Greg,

Yeah, the Amazons had conquered space travel (using giant kangaroos no less) before the Soviet Union and the U.S. had even started shooting up sattelites. Our science just can't touch theirs.

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