Conrad Jarrett
Character Analysis

Conrad is the protagonist of the novel. He is the youngest son of Calvin and Beth Jarrett; his older brother, Buck, dies in a sailing accident before the novel's plot begins. Ordinary People traces Conrad's recovery from a severe bout of depression and attempted suicide brought on by his brother's death, for which he feels responsible. With the help of his father, his psychiatrist Dr. Berger, and his friends Lazenby, Karen, and Jeannine, Conrad undergoes the painful but liberating process of escaping guilt and learning to love himself and others.

Conrad Jarrett Quotes in Ordinary People

The Ordinary People quotes below are all either spoken by Conrad Jarrett or refer to Conrad Jarrett. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:

).
Note: all page numbers and citation info for the quotes below refer to the Penguin Books edition of Ordinary People published in 1982.

Chapter 3
Quotes

Choir is the one time of day when he lets down his guard; there is peace in the strict concentration that Faughnan demands of all of them, in the sweet dissonance of voices in chorus. He has sung in here since he was a freshman. …Every minute of every hour that is spent there, they work, and there is only one way to prove yourself. You sing, and sing, and sing. All else is unimportant.

The worst, the first session has been gotten through. And the guy is not bad; at least he is loose. The exchange about the razor blades reminded him of something good about the hospital; nobody hid anything there. People kidded you about all kinds of stuff and it was all right; it even helped to stay the flood of shame and guilt. …So, how do you stay open, when nobody mentions anything, when everybody is careful not to mention it?

"Things were so different in the hospital. People were, you know, turned on all the time. And you just can't live like that. You can't live with all that emotion floating around, looking for a place to land. It's too exhausting. It takes so much energy, just to get through a day…"

In bed he waits for sleep. He cannot get under until he has reviewed the day, counted up his losses. He must learn more control, cannot allow himself the luxury of anger. He has seen it happen before. Guys become easy targets for the Stillmans of the world. Next time laugh when he needles you.

He has done it, maybe for the wrong reasons, but it was the right thing to do. There is no problem improving your timing, or perfecting a stroke, if the desire is there, but you cannot fire it up, cannot manufacture desire, when there is no spark at all to build on. This was not a mistake, what happened today. It is not to be looked at as a failure.

Berger laughs. "When's the last time you got really mad?" He says, carefully, "When it comes, there's always too much of it. I don't know how to handle it." "Sure, I know," Berger says. "It's a closet full of junk. You open the door and everything falls out." "No," he says. "There's a guy in the closet. I don't even know him, that's the problem." "Only way you're ever gonna get to know him," Berger says, "is to let him out now and then. …" "Sometimes," he says, "when you let yourself feel, all you feel is lousy." Berger nods. "Maybe you gotta feel lousy sometime, in order to feel better. A little advice, kiddo, about feeling. Don't think too much about it. And don't expect it always to tickle."

Afterward. The hammer blows of guilt and remorse. He has no weapons with which to fight them off. No words of comfort, none of Berger's advice applies. He has slandered her, to her face and behind her back. He has pushed everyone away who tries to help. If he could apologize. If he only could but they are no longer at home to him and it is not their fault. All his fault. All connections with him result in failure. Loss. Evil.

The keys dig into his thigh. Next to him, Lazenby sits, elbow against the door, his hand propping his check. What he said is true. The three of them were always together, why does he think of it as only his grief? Because damn it it is. His room no longer shared, his heart torn and slammed against this solid wall of it, this hell of indifference. It is. And there is no way to change it. That is the hell.

She pulls in her breath, and her arms are around his waist, her head on his chest. He stands, holding her; tests the feeling of someone leaning on him, looking to him for support. He feels as if he could stand here holding her forever. Her lashes are wet, golden in the harsh overhead light. He lifts her chin with his hand and kisses her. Her face is tear-streaked, her mouth loose under his, turned slightly down. He has never felt so strong, so needed.

"Geez, if I could get through to you, kiddo, that depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent, it is plain and simple reduction of feeling. Reduction, see? Of all feeling. People who keep stiff upper lips find that it's damn hard to smile."

She laughs. "Why won't you take anything seriously?" He lies down flat, the hat over his face. "No sense taking the questions seriously, if there aren't any answers." "Con. Do you believe people are punished for the things they do?" "Punished You mean by God?" "Yes." "I don't believe in God," he says. …She turns toward him, and the ends of her hair fall lightly against his chest. "What do you believe in?" "Oh, tennis courts, wallpaper," he says, "Florsheim shoes, Miami Beach—" "Liar," she says, her arms sliding around his neck. "—you," he says, kissing her. "Liar again, but that's nice." And he squeezes her tightly, feeling the sense of calm, of peace slowly gathering, spreading itself within him. He is in touch for good, with hope, with himself, no matter what. Berger is right, the body never lies.

In a letter that she wrote to his grandmother she said, "The Aegean is bluer than the Atlantic, and rough and bumpy. It looks just the way the boys drew it on those funny school maps." For she had saved them all—the maps and papers and a construction-paper valentine trimmed with Kleenex-lace that he had made for her—and packed them away in a box he had found in the basement, when they had moved out. Do you save stuff like that if it means nothing to you?

Conrad Jarrett Character Timeline in Ordinary People

The timeline below shows where the character Conrad Jarrett appears in Ordinary People. The colored dots and icons indicate which themes are associated with that appearance.

Chapter 1

It's been exactly one month since Conrad Jarrett has returned home from the psychiatric hospital in which he's spent the past eight...
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Conrad hears the voice of his father, Calvin, calling to him from the other end of...
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Conrad tries to make himself relax, remembering that he is supposed to be on the road...
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Conrad begins to shut down again. His throat begins to itch. For a moment he is...
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Chapter 2

Down the hall from Conrad's room, Calvin (Conrad's father, called Cal for short) and Beth (his mother) are also starting...
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...unhappiness in his son. He isn't sure if his son is truly happy, even though Conrad insists that he's fine. Cal notes to himself that Conrad hasn't spent much time with...
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All of the Jarretts gather in the kitchen for breakfast. Cal checks in with Conrad to see how things are going. With a healthy dose of sarcasm Conrad tells his...
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Chapter 3

Conrad stands on his front porch, awaiting his ride to school. Lazenby is running a few...
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Conrad and the rowdy threesome make their way to school. Complaints about swim practice and the...
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First-period English class gives Conrad a tough time. He gets distracted during class, and his teacher senses his stress. He...
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After choir comes swimming practice. Conrad's coach Salan is surprised to catch him yawning, and after practice he awkwardly confronts Conrad...
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...sophomores on the swim team. (It so happens that the two swimmers have constantly beaten Conrad in practice "every day for two weeks.") Eventually Conrad makes it home. At first he...
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Chapter 4

...what the family needs to unwind after a few months of intense strain. Cal disagrees. Conrad is still readjusting to life as a student, and he feels that time off would...
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...in to discuss some business, and also to make some small talk about Beth and Conrad. Conversation about his son puts Cal on edge, so Ray decides to back off and...
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...Dr. Tyrone Berger's phone number, all the while reviewing his responsibilities as a father and Conrad's duties as an obedient son. He just wants to make sure Conrad made it to...
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Chapter 5

Conrad visits Dr. Berger's office for the first time. Anxiety begins to overtake him when he...
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Dr. Berger and Conrad settle into their first session. When Berger asks what he'd like to accomplish in their...
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After the appointment, Conrad reflects on his time with Berger. In retrospect, he appreciates the doctor's casualness. It's a...
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Chapter 7

On a Saturday, Conrad reunites with Karen (a fellow patient he befriended during his time in the hospital) in...
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...remarks about Beth, comparing her seeming composure to what he remembers of the years when Conrad and Buck were both small boys. The demand of raising two children, combined with her...
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...Beth about a car they'd been looking at recently; they plan to buy it for Conrad as a Christmas gift. He asks Beth if she'd like to visit the dealership to...
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...outcome urged Cal to be suspicious about happy relationships. The thought stays with him as Conrad comes home from school. The family make small talk and prepare for dinner.
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Chapter 12

Conrad has gotten used to filling the time once reserved for swim practice. Still having yet...
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Later, Conrad confesses to Dr. Berger that he hasn't told his parents about his decision to quit...
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Conrad encounters Jeannine by chance one day after school. She teasingly compliments him on his singing,...
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On the way home Jeannine asks Conrad if he has any siblings. When he says no, she tells him that he's lucky...
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Chapter 13

Christmas is quickly approaching. Cal and Conrad are at a local tree farm, selecting a fir to display in their living room....
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Cal and Conrad begin setting up the tree in their living room. Beth returns home from "a meeting,"...
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Beth continues to scold Conrad for keeping this secret for a month. Conrad explodes with anger, he yells that hadn't...
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...He wants the two to make up, but Beth refuses, claiming that Cal only takes Conrad's side in their confrontations. With Beth "refus[ing] to be manipulated," Cal heads up to Conrad's...
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Cal finds Conrad lying face down on his bed. He tries to persuade Conrad to apologize to Beth,...
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Chapter 14

The day after his fight with Beth, Conrad is heavy with guilt. Not only does he feel bad about himself, but he also...
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Conrad discusses the argument with his mother in the day's session with Berger. He is reluctant...
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Berger is taken aback by Conrad's passionate refusal. As the mood settles, Berger tries to help Conrad put the argument into...
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Conrad doesn't think his suicide was an act of self-loathing, but when pressed he can't explain...
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Chapter 15

...of a "reality" than the extreme beauty and always-pleasant weather of Christmas in Florida. Soon Conrad makes his way into the living room and greets his grandparents. Surprisingly, he is decked...
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...grandparents have all opened their gifts, and Howard and Cal can barely wait to give Conrad his biggest present. Urging him to look out onto the driveway, everyone crowds around the...
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...something special from their Christmas. Soon he tries to engage Beth in small talk about Conrad's apparent disappointment, but she retorts that Cal "worr[ies] too much about him." What's more, she...
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Chapter 16

For Conrad, the start of a new year brings the realization that he needs to organize his...
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Conrad visits the library to ask about employment opportunities. While there, he encounters a beautiful woman...
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Conrad fills Berger in on his encounter with the woman at the library. In spite of...
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Berger casually advises Conrad to begin a relationship with Jeannine. Conrad is wary of dating, but the doctor assures...
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Chapter 17

Conrad spends part of his birthday cleaning the garage with Cal. When the work is done,...
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...notices his son's unusually good mood. Curious, he asks about Berger and what he and Conrad discuss in their sessions. Cal throws out the idea of going to see Berger himself,...
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...his efforts, he feels powerless – especially when it comes to managing the relationship between Conrad and Beth's relationship.
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It's the first day of exam week for Conrad. In the first moments of his English exam, Conrad notices a handful of details as...
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After the exam, Conrad and Jeannine spot one another in the hallway. He is unsure how to approach her;...
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Conrad and Jeannine listen to the radio in silence during the ride. They eventually reach her...
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Several neighborhood women have gathered at the Jarretts' for their bridge club meeting. Conrad slips into the house trying to avoid the group, but Carole Lazenby greets him warmly...
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Alone, Conrad considers Mrs. Lazenby's offer. He eventually concludes that too many distractions have come between him...
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Chapter 19

Ray searches for the root of Cal's disappointment. He tries to console Cal, explaining that Conrad will be off to college in less than a year's time. Cal gets a little...
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...thinks about the small warning signs that cropped up in the days leading up to Conrad's suicide attempt. Cal concludes that Beth might be right about his lack of focus, but...
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Chapter 20

Conrad stands on the front port of Jeannine's house eagerly anticipating his first date with her....
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After a while Ms. Pratt goes to check on Jeannine, leaving Conrad and Mike alone in the living room. Mike chimes in and declares that he'll start...
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In the car Jeannine apologizes for leaving Conrad with her mother for too long. She also warns Conrad that she isn't a great...
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Jeannine tells Conrad about her family on the ride home. Her parents are divorced; her father is a...
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Chapter 22

Conrad decides to attend a swim meet at school. Unfortunately the team is doing poorly; for...
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Embarrassed, Lazenby and Truan try to make small talk with Conrad. But Stillman emerges and cuts in, mocking Conrad bitterly about his car and relationship with...
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Once in his car Conrad realizes that he's lost his keys, but Lazenby soon appears with them in hand. He...
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To his relief, Conrad comes home to an empty house. He washes the blood off of his jacket, but...
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Chapter 23

Conrad goes for a drive later that night. His slow driving angers a nearby driver, who...
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Cal comes home around midnight. He sees Conrad on the couch; he'd presumably fallen asleep while waiting for him. Cal nudges his son...
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...he hadn't seen her stop by the living room on her way upstairs, nor had Conrad. He is disturbed by the fact that Beth wouldn't stop to check on Conrad when...
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Chapter 24

Cal and Beth head off to Dallas. Conrad decides to stay with his grandparents Howard and Ellen, Beth's mother and father – Cal...
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Later, Conrad picks Jeannine up from her job at a nearby bakery. They plan to go see...
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Mike shows off his fledgling guitar skills to Conrad.Conrad praises his performance enthusiastically, encouraging him to keep at his lessons. Mike asks Conrad...
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Chapter 25

...and Kerry. Cal and Audrey chat about their kids. Audrey expresses worry for Beth and Conrad. She notices that Beth's terse letters hardly ever mention her son, and complains that Beth...
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...a time when Beth broke down in tears. Otherwise, she suppresses her emotions. She and Conrad were the only family members who hadn't cried at Buck's funeral.
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...well. She hesitates a bit but answers affirmatively. Ward asks a couple of questions about Conrad, but Cal is the one who answers him – Beth drops out, staring silently at...
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Chapter 26

Ellen scolds Conrad as he comes into the kitchen for breakfast. He hadn't come home from his date...
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Later that evening, Conrad is still basking in the glow of his good mood. As he leafs through the...
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Conrad endures a feverish series of dreams. In the first, he struggles against a crowd of...
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The second time he wakes, Conrad jumps out of bed and leaves his grandparents' house. He takes a walk in order...
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Back at his grandparents' house, Conrad gets a glass of water from the faucet and washes his hands. He soon heads...
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Conrad is jolted awake. He turns on the living room TV to keep himself from falling...
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Chapter 27

By the time Conrad reaches Berger's office, the doctor is there waiting for him. Almost immediately Conrad begins sobbing....
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Berger presses Conrad to tell him why he needs help. The truth springs up from deep within him;...
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Berger takes Conrad to breakfast. Conrad is exhausted, but Berger gently asks if Karen's suicide is what spurred...
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Instead of going to Howard and Ellen's house, Conrad returns to his own house to shower. The hot water helps him relax and to...
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As the water rushes over him, Conrad recalls playing a game with his brother in the garage many years ago. Buck had...
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Berger's advice finally makes sense to Conrad. As he cries once more, he finishes showering. He thinks about Karen, still upset that...
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Chapter 28

...she suggests a golf vacation for the coming summer. Cal agrees – and adds that Conrad might like the idea as well. The last comment annoys Beth, who points out Cal's...
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...is so angry at him, but she states her belief that Cal blames her for Conrad's suicide attempts. The admission shakes her; she bursts into tears. Cal goes over to his...
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...room door, not wanting to intrude on the situation, but Beth addresses them. She saw Conrad's attempted suicide as an attempt to manipulate her emotions; it seemed like an elaborate accusation...
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Ward tries to soothe his sister. He expresses the desire for her, Cal, and Conrad to be happy. The word triggers her; she lashes out at Ward, sarcastically urging him...
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Chapter 29

...to help Beth would only push her away, so he resolves to leave her be. Conrad teases Cal when he sees him catching up on work, calling him "the indispensable man."...
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Beth, Cal, and, and Conrad go to dinner. Cal is surprised at Beth's attention to their son; she and Conrad...
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Chapter 30

At Jeannine's house, Conrad and Jeannine discuss the looming prospect of college. Jeannine laments having to part ways with...
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Jeannine also admits to having a brief conversation with Suzanne about Conrad. Apparently Suzanne was quite protective of Conrad and warned Jeannine to treat him with care....
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Conrad and Jeannine have sex with one another for the first time. Afterward, Jeannine explains that...
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...She feels that she acted out in order to hurt herself – not her parents. Conrad is able to open up to her about his own self-abuse. Like Jeannine, he felt...
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Chapter 31

...but she refuses to let him worry about her the same way he worries about Conrad. Cal questions how much how much he really knows – or knew – about his...
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After breakfast, Conrad and Cal go out onto the porch. Cal feels cold, but Conrad is excited about...
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After a stunned silence, Cal apologizes for yelling at Conrad.Conrad responds to the contrary; he appreciates his father's decision to put his foot down....
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Epilogue

Conrad pays a visit to Berger at his house. He thanks him for his help, but...
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Next, Conrad visits Lazenby's house. Mrs. Lazenby directs Conrad to the backyard, where her son is practicing...
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As Conrad stands alone in Lazenby's backyard, he remembers a letter Beth had written to Ellen, describing...
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