Wednesday, December 15, 2010

On the other side of pain…

I feel so damn good that I have to remind myself that I had major surgery less than a month ago and not to push it.

My pain is gone…that pain so constant that I took for granted until it wasn’t there anymore.

There is a freakish comfort to a constant pain.

The body adjusts…it shifts, without conscious thought, to ease…find some measure of relief.

And there is predictability to it all too…to know that the pain will seem to pass only to return, burning and throbbing and aching and cramping and defined only be degree.

I lived with pain due to uterine fibroids and endometriosis for a decade.

Ten years.

And I can’t even remember the beginning. I guess it came on slowly…and suddenly it just was.

Ten years.

And now, it’s gone.

Gone…though the ending of it was it’s own festival of pain.

But it is gone.

And for the past few weeks I’ve been waiting for it to return…certain that such a powerful thing couldn’t just end.

Well, I woke up this morning and realized that I am now on the other side of that pain.

That’s a profound realization that is accompanied by the knowledge that I’m very lucky to be in this place.

So many women face the same medical conditions without the options that I have. Without health insurance to cover the cost of surgery, those women are often forced to endure pain longer and to weight their healthy needs against the realities of their finances.

And let me be clear…my medical condition was serious, physically damaging and only made more so by delay.

So here, on the other side of pain, I recommit myself to the health care fight.

I am a living example of what should be, could be and will be once health care, and the health that springs from it, is guaranteed to all as a right not a privilege.

Because the other side of pain is beyond beautiful…it’s wondrous and vibrant and full of possibilities.

In time, I may forget exactly what my pain felt like…

…but I will never forget that the other side of pain is worth fighting for.

9 comments:

Thank God and modern medicine that you are now pain-free - take some time to enjoy it before you re-dedicate yourself to the good fight. I couldn't agree with you more that we need a health care system that addresses all of our needs, but sometimes it's also good to pause and acknowledge what we DO have. We DO have the knowledge and the machinery and the expertise to provide the care you needed... hooray!

So many people that need health care are abusive to their own bodies through smoking, obesity, drugs, and alcohol that it will be impossible to provide healthcare to everyone, until we have personal responsibility and accountability.We are still giving food stamps to people that are 100 lbs overweight. There should be a scale at the food stamp office and a drug screening device at the welfare office. There should be birth control measures mandated, to prevent this society from continueing down this self destructive path.