Self portraits on an 8*10 ” camera

Assignment

An image of how you want to be seen by others. An image of how you think others see you.
Both on an 8 * 10 inch negative. The pictures were taken in the photo studio at the AKI, and afterwards developed by myself in the darkroom.

Explanation

For the first image, the one that depicts how I want to be seen by others, I came to the conclusion that everyone shares the same basic desires as to how they would like to be seen by their peers: Cool, Attractive Funny, etc. This however does not say much about a person, because it is the same for everyone, and is thus not very interesting to show how you want to be seen by others.

What is much more interesting is the things you do to distinguish yourself from others. Of course everyone does many things to distinguish themselves, and the same goes for me. One thing I pursue myself is to always create. I believe in making, and making things yourself.

In this day and age, almost anything can be produced by anyone. Both physical means of production are becoming more accessible (3d printers, laser cutters, etc.) and the knowledge necessary to use these means is becoming more available. Which leaves no reason to just buy and consume things, instead of making and repairing them yourself. This is something I strongly believe in, which I wanted to show with the first picture. I am not just the subject of the photograph, but I am the maker.

The second picture didn’t really go according to plan as well as the first. I came up with a concept for how I think other people see me, but the final picture does not communicate this concept very well. I feel like right now the picture tells that I suffer from anxiety. I feel like this is mostly because the pose where I am biting on my nails, which is something most people usually associate with anxiousness.

The original concept I wanted to communicate was the feeling I (and hopefully others) sometimes get when talking to someone and only being able to think about something stupid/ embarrassing I said/ did some other time I saw them, while the other person probably doesn’t even think it was such a big deal.

To make this clear I wanted to show myself in the now (centred), and myself contemplating things I did in the past. This worked out for me in the present, and me clutching my head thinking about something stupid I did. But instead of me biting my nails I should have had an exposure of me doing something stupid. I believe this would have made my concept more clear.

On the bright side of things: I did learn something from this. You only learn from your mistakes right?