Gentlemen, jump-start your lemons

OK, so it’s not exactly a vintage race, but it could be an event remembered for many years to come—particularly if things get out of hand and footage of the action ends up on COPS, as we suspect it might.The 24 Hours of LeMons is a self-described “battle of old crapcans” that’s set to shake, shudder and smoke off the starting line of the Altamont Motorsports Park, in Tracy California, October 7-8, 2006. According to the outstanding promotional piece on the 24 Hours of LeMons Web site:This endurance race is for cars purchased, fixed up, and track-prepped for a total of 500 bucks or less–and before reaching the grid, you’ll have to survive the Old-Lady Mannequin Slalom, the Oil-Slicked Baby Carriage Braking Test, the Brick On the Gas Pedal Challenge, and similar qualifying rounds. The racing on Saturday and Sunday is broken up by an all-night party. Twelve hours into the race, the car voted People’s Choice (for best concept and prep) is called in and awarded a cash prize. Simultaneously, the car voted People’s Curse is called in and summarily crushed. At the end of 24 hours, a gala awards ceremony plies the survivors with trophies, plaques, and four-figure purses paid with canvas bags full of nickels. Gentlemen, jump-start your lemons.

(This post originally appeared in the July 13, 2006, issue of the Hemmings eWeekly Newsletter.)