With today's superstars, it's all US, US, US

AUSTRALIA'S modern-day sporting superstar goes imaginary fishing. Truly, he does. As he recovers from an ankle injury, one night later, he joins another of Australia's modern-day sporting superstars on a night out. The pair drink champagne out of the bottle, as they celebrate their selection for their state, in the pinnacle match of their code.

Australia's modern-day sporting superstar is a brilliant footballer.

He is able to play State of Origin just a few months after being sacked by his club, because he has speed, talent, footwork, and more athletic ability than the vast majority of people on the planet. Australia's modern-day sporting superstar sometimes appears like he wants to squander that talent. He shirks responsibility, and bucks authority.

He poses on a rooftop with Pineapple Vodka Cruisers, along with another of Australia's modern-day sporting superstars (the one he would guzzle champagne with) and does not turn up to training the next day.

He has a tattoo of a controversial American modern-day sporting superstar on his thigh. His bucket list must provide interesting reading.

He is abused in restaurants and bars. Most of the time, he reacts with dignity. He is abused on social media. Most of the time, he reacts with dignity. Sometimes, he abuses the ''haterz''. He is warned about social media, and on the verge of signing with a new team, abuses the ''haterz'' on Instagram. The team severs negotiations with Australia's modern-day sporting superstar, only for another to offer him another chance.

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Australia's modern-day sporting superstar gets a lot of second chances.

Australia's modern-day sporting superstar misses a court date, stemming from a charge of unlawful assault. An arrest warrant is issued for him. The next day, Australia's modern-day sporting superstar posts a selfie on Instagram, brooding into his phone camera wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket.

Later, he posts another photograph of an envelope filled with $100 notes, open next to a Mercedes-Benz gear stick. He justifies doing so by telling his fans and followers that he is giving the wad of cash to his brother, who is getting married.

He is also a brilliant footballer, and has also played in the pinnacle event of his code.

He states that only God can judge him, not the media. He is given a social media smackdown by a peer, who informs him that, in fact, a judge can judge him.

He is used to being judged, though. Australia's modern-day sporting superstar has previously created controversy by posing with more of Australia's modern-day sporting superstars, some wearing Speedos, some shorts, in a spa bath.

America's modern-day sporting superstar is even more colourful. He changes his name to Chad Ochocinco, aborts an attempt to change his name to Chad Hachi Go, before changing his name back to his birth name, Chad Johnson, because he wants to ''reconnect with his former self''.

This month, America's modern-day sporting superstar is sentenced to 30 days in jail for violating his probation, the judge declaring that he was not taking his predicament seriously enough, having slapped his lawyer on the behind.

He is released seven days later, after apologising to the court.

He is notoriously brash. He has tweeted during a pre-season game. Later, after being fined, he apologises, saying via Twitter: ''Dear NFL I apologize for tweeting during the game but that was 2 months of my Bugatti payments you just took from me, I won't do it again.''

He is far from the worst of the boys behaving badly in his sport.

Australia's modern-day sporting superstars are better behaved than America's equivalent, of course. But the past few weeks haven't been particularly encouraging for Australia's modern-day sporting superstar. Two of them have played in the pinnacle events of their code. They have also made headlines for playing up.

Sure, we are closer to them than ever before. We can see their flaws as well as their talents in slow-motion HD. They are on more television screens than ever. We can read about their imaginary fishing with the click of a button or the tap of a tablet. We can take photographs of them at bars, or fast-food outlets, on smartphones, which can be shared with thousands within seconds. We can be them on game consoles, interact with them via social media.

But they are closer to America's modern-day sporting superstar than they ever were before. They watch him on ESPN, read about him with the click of a button or the tap of a tablet. They, too, can be him on a game console, interact with him via social media.

They can have him tattooed on their thigh.

Remember, some of them idolise America's modern-day sporting superstar.

How long before tomorrow's Australian modern-day sporting superstar catches up to today's American equivalent?