Red Bull Accuse FIA of Being “Big Dumb Stupid Heads”

Millionaire owner of disinfectant cum soft drink Red Bull, Dietrich Mateschitz, has threatened to remove his company from involvement with the sport if immediate changes to the rules for this season are not made.
In an interview with the Austrian Newspaper Kurier, Mr. Mateschitz made clear his dissatisfaction with the disqualification of Daniel Ricciardo from the Australian Grand Prix, as well as the move to V6 engines that has seen Renault, Red Bull’s powertrain supplier, struggle in the early stages of the season.
As well as the threat to remove his two teams from the sport, Mateschitz has also suggested that the Austrian Grand Prix, due to take place at Red Bull’s own track, may be cancelled if the authorities do not immediately overturn the stewards’ decision from Melbourne.
Clearly irate at the recent events, which have threatened to snap Red Bull’s dominance at the top of Motor Racing; following publication of the Kurier report, Mateschitz appeared with Red Bull Team Principal Christian Horner and lead driver Sebastian Vettel to make a joint statement.
“It’s not fair!” Mr. Mateschitz began, “The FIA are being big dumb stupid heads! They’re just mean and it’s made Seb cry.” He continued, pointing at a clearly distressed World Champion.
When asked why the FIA should overturn their decision, Mr. Horner interjected, “Cos! I want it! It’s not fair!”
Mateschitz finished the press conference with an ominous warning, “Change it now Jean [Todt, head of the FIA], or you can’t come to my Birthday Party, and we’re having a bouncy castle and a clown and face painting, so there!”