American Fathers 4Change with a mission of helping to bring awareness that by increasing the proportion of children growing up with involved, responsible, and committed fathers it will improve the well being of children.

"The man as he converses is the lover; silent, he is the husband." ~ Honore de Balzac

The BEST Parent is BOTH Parents

Saturday

Several of our videos because of our promotion of activism and open disdain for our judiciary are blocked from play on mainstream sites. This video can only be seen on my hard drive and on dailymotion. Lets see how long it lasts on Facebook...
Posted by Fathers-4-Justice USA on Tuesday, October 20, 2015

United we can! This is NOT Fathers Rights groups but FAMILIES fighting together the system. There are woman and men protecting our children's future that understand that Judges are destroying us all for money.

– Living Document Born March
2013

Generalprinciples that we believe are a forming, coalescing consensus.

A
working group formed in December of 2012 through a variety of men’s rights
publications, forums, and YouTube channels. Over four dozen people from around
the globe participated in making suggestions and giving general input. Despite
the large number of people from diverse backgrounds, and the fact that almost
none of the participants knew most of the others, its development was
shockingly un-contentious, even on some of the more contentious points.

This
is not a document anyone is expected to sign or pledge to. It is an effort to
identify a general consensus.

This
document is not released with the intention being the definitive statement of
goals for all men's advocates, but rather, a set of goals and ideas that we
believe represent common sentiments within the movement. People will be free to
agree with all of these, most of these, some of these, or only one of these; if
they'll work with us on any of them, then we'll work with them on that.
Furthermore, other groups are welcome to take these goals and adapt and change
them for their own purposes.

The
gender war is a destructive social construct. Viewing the other sex as an enemy
to be fought, or an oppressor to be overthrown, does not benefit men or women.
Only a select few will profit from the hostility and distrust this creates. The
interests of both men and women are best served by ending the gender war, and
to working together to alleviate the iniquities visited upon all human beings,
regardless of sex.

Many
prominent individuals who self-identify as feminists espouse ideals of equality
and equity, but often act against an ethic of equality under the law. For this
reason, many men’s advocates have come to the conclusion that feminist activism
is dependent on identifying women as victims and men as perpetrators of oppression.
While those not solidly entrenched in the day to day gender struggle tend to
think “feminism is about equality,” professionals at universities, in
government, and in political action groups often act against legal equality and
genuine equity through their decisions and actions--and do so in the name of
feminism.

Furthermore,
anyone genuinely working under the “feminism is about equality” mentality
should be natural allies in the collective fight for men's rights. But those
feminists with actual power frequently endorse and exploit sexist ideas in
order to promote their divisive ideology, and to raise money, and dismiss,
marginalize, or outright mock men’s issues, occasionally even with violence.

For
these reasons, self described feminists should not necessarily be considered
de-facto experts on what constitutes gender equity. Men's voices must be heard,
even if women aren't always comfortable with what they hear.

Traditionalism is a choice, not an
obligation

No
one can speak for all men's advocates, but most try to be accurate, objective,
and honest about masculinity and femininity. They recognize that men and women
are different, but they don’t want to promote discrimination, stereotypes, or
prejudices that would limit anyone’s ability to exercise their own ability and
talent.

Chivalry,
a concept in which men have a social obligation to put their interests below
women's, is common in many countries. Failure to adhere to this code can result
in significant social backlash against men. We reject a code that ascribes
greater value to one sex or the other. When men's advocates attempt to describe differences between the sexes,
they are not trying to prescribe them. Men's human rights advocates look to
the future, they don’t cling to the past, and they agree that your genitals
should not determine your lifestyle or your rights. If you want to be a
traditionalist, be one. If you don’t, that’s fine too.

Misandry is real, and pernicious

Most
respected dictionaries now recognize that misandry - the hatred or contempt of
male humans - is a real word. Some gender ideologues continue to insist that
misandry does not and cannot exist, but MRAs, by and large, understand that
misandry is real, and is being used to strip men and boys of basic human rights
and dignity. Misandric messages invalidate boys and men by telling them that
they are guilty by association to all the harmful acts committed by other men,
for no other reason than that they are male, but ignoring the corresponding
association to positive acts by other men, of discovery, invention, daring,
bravery, sacrifice, loyalty, love, and kindness. Misandric messages also tend
to ignore negative and harmful actions by women. In general, misandry tells men
and boys that part of what defines who they are, their very identity as male,
is something dangerous and shameful. These messages are culturally toxic and
psychologically harmful to men and boys.

Men
deserve the right to dignity, just as much as women. Men deserve the same right
as women to not be associated with despicable actions simply because they were
committed by members of their sex. Men’s rights advocates agree that misandry
is real, and that it should not be tolerated any more than misogyny would be,
and have taken on the responsibility for acknowledging, exposing, and opposing
misandry. Because if they don’t do it, then who else will?

Strong, independent women are
helpful, not helpless

Most
men's human rights advocates love seeing strong, capable, and independent women
as part of society. But they are disappointed to see the rise of idealized,
infantilized, sheltered, and fearful women. Men's human rights advocates
understand that power and authority should come with responsibility and
accountability.

Rewards
come with risks: if you take credit then you should also accept blame. If you
criticize, then you should also be able to accept criticism. Making excuses for
bad behavior by women, or blaming it on men, is condescending. Women who want
equality should speak out against such attitudes and behaviors. The only way
people experience personal growth is through life experience and our present
society stunts women’s growth by coddling them.

Men's
rights advocates object to feminism’s narrow focus on women’s problems and
fears, and to feminism’s track record of treating human issues as divisive
gender issues. Men's advocates object to gynocentrism (focusing only on the
female perspective) and female supremacism. We respect skill and maturity,
regardless of whether the person is male or female.

General Men’s Rights Movement Goals

When
it comes to men’s activism, some have already decided that their role will
mostly be passive: become Men Going Their Own Way, by refusing to participate
in marriage or even cohabitation with the opposite sex, or otherwise defining
their own lives outside the dominant gender discourse, and nothing more. This
is fine, as we are all free to make our own choices as to what role(s) we would
like to play.

Others
feel that "defeating feminism" is the only goal. Our view is that
even without feminism, many of the problems we face would remain.

As
in any movement there will be people with significant influence and authority
even if this authority is informal. Who these people are will change
constantly. As a result “We” can just mean “I.” There is nothing preventing you from deciding to care about one of
these items, or three of them, or half of them, or all of them. The point is,
they are goals not dogma.

Some of the goals for the men's
movement are (in no particular order):

We stand for all boys and men. Questions of race, creed, color, nationality or
sexual orientation are completely irrelevant to us. This is non-negotiable: we
are a movement for the needs, well-being and interests of all men and boys
everywhere, seeking no more and no less than legal equality and/or genuine
equity under the law.

We are a human rights movement, and as such concepts of universal human rights
are a part of that movement. Addressing the needs of men and boys is not a
zero-sum game. Our focus is on men and boys because we believe men and boys are
in particular need of help at this time.

We have no interest in legally denying anyone
the right to control their reproduction; however we seek equitable reproductive
rights for all persons regardless of sex. As a movement we believe no one
should be forced into parenthood by the state or another individual, and that
sexual intercourse is not consent to parenthood. As such, mothers seeking
arbitration from the courts in order to collect child support from a man she
names the father should be required to submit a written instrument of consent
signed by him, in which he explicitly accepts responsibility for, as well as
defines his rights to, his child/ren. This will allow him to positively
establish paternity through a DNA test before signing and allow both mother and
father to define the rights and responsibilities of both parties rather than
allowing the state to do so. Furthermore, if a mother conceals a pregnancy and
subsequent birth from a father and he learns of this afterward without being
given the opportunity to negotiate parenthood with the mother then he should
have redress to obtain paternal rights and responsibilities.

Development and availability of a male fertility control device, drug or method
that is safe, affordable, effective and reversible should be a top priority.

Paternity testing should be a standard practice when a father is added to a
birth certificate or otherwise formally (legally) recognized as the child’s
father. Where there is a willfully false claim of paternity, prosecution should
occur.

If a woman opts to give up a child for adoption, all reasonable efforts must be
made to allow the father the option of being that child’s sole parent before
the child can be given over to any adoption agency.

Women are frequently pedestalized, and men demonized, when it comes to criminal
arrest, conviction, and sentencing. This is an injustice against men and
infantilizes women. Laws and legal practices and customs which establish
lighter or heavier sentences based on sex should be abolished.

Foster the emergence of a new cultural narrative where all men and women are
encouraged to live their lives as they see fit, without preferential treatment,
while also being expected to bear the responsibility for their personal
choices.

Default physical and legal co-parenting must be the norm where both parents are
competent, willing, and do not endanger the child’s physical or mental well
being. We wish to promote a narrative of recognizing fair custody arrangements
towards fathers as an important issue, both in terms of fair treatment of
fathers, and as being in the best interest of all children's healthy
development and quality of life. In divorce or separation of non-married
parents, daily contact with both parents, and living arrangements which strive
to be as close as practical to 50/50 time with both parents, should be the
norm.

If there is strong evidence that children shouldn’t be with one or both
parents, regular review of the conditions for access and visitation should
occur to recognize that circumstances can and do change; the child’s right to
both parents must be protected unless one or both has given up the child for
adoption (i.e. legal surrender).

False and malicious accusations of rape or other violence, when they can be
distinguished from mistaken accusations, must be subject to strict penalty
under law. Laws against lying under oath or wasting time (of the police or
courts) must be enacted where there are no such laws in place, and/or enforced
without gender bias where they do exist.

The presumption of innocence must be seen as a fundamental right for anyone
accused of any crime and restored to anyone accused of domestic violence or any
form of assault, sexual or otherwise. So-called “rape shield” laws must either
be extended to cover the accused as well as the accuser, or abolished entirely.

Debtor’s prison has been abolished in most civilized nations except in one
crucial area: men who are unable to pay support payments due to disability or
other impoverishment. This practice must be abolished, and debts owed due to
support must be treated like any other debt to be paid, and subject to
reasonable negotiation and renegotiation when circumstances do not make payment
of support practical. Throwing men in jail for being unable to pay not only
violates their fundamental human rights; it often robs children of their
fathers and leaves those fathers unable to work to pay the debts they owe. This
is an abomination and must be ended.

We seek to promote social recognition that men can be victims and women can be
sex offenders, and that statements which belittle or marginalize the
experiences of male victims of sexual assault, including male victims of female
sex predators, are likely based on a worldview that pedastalizes women and
demonizes men. Such attitudes are hateful and toxic, and must be opposed.

Standards for what constitutes illegal violence - domestic, sexual, or
otherwise - should not discriminate on account of sex or such things as size or
weight. Violence is violence. Assault is assault. Sexual assault is sexual
assault. The law must be neutral regarding sexual characteristics or physical
traits. Zero tolerance policies which fail to differentiate between a heated
argument and a crime must be abolished. Mandatory arrest policies must either
be abolished or must treat both parties as potential co-criminals and both
parties should be arrested. So-called “primary aggressor” policies which
presuppose the existence of one “victim” and one “abuser” have been repeatedly
shown to be wrong in most cases, and should be abolished as standing policy.

Mandatory restraining orders which isolate and intimidate couples who wish to
communicate and cooperate with each other must be recognized as damaging, and
the law must be made to recognize that such orders may damage career and
reputations and as such should be expungeable if found to be fraudulently or
frivolously obtained, or no longer needed.

Abuse of restraining orders by anyone seeking to use them as a weapon to deny
access to children or gain an upper hand in divorce or custody disputes should
not only be recognized, but subject to penalty under law.

Policies which allow alleged victims to be punished for refusing to cooperate
with prosecution must be abolished.

Financial incentives for prosecution of any crime by the state must be
abolished.

In divorce or separation of non-married parents, efforts should to be made to
promote mediation and solutions that do not involve the court or other state
agencies wherever possible.

Recognizing that marriage cannot be abolished by the state, because cohabiting
persons will still have disputes over children and finances if they separate,
“marriage” should be viewed as an enforceable contract. Couples wishing to marry
should be allowed to negotiate what their marriage contracts involve to include
issues such as child custody, any theoretical support, education, support
payments in case of severance, and so on. Marriages are agreements between
people, and contracts should spell out specifically what is and is not agreed
to. In the absence of a formal contract, presumption of shared parenting must
be enforced as noted above.

Any government funding towards health research and services, should such
funding exist, should be allocated in a way that gives equal and fair
consideration to the health needs of men, women, and children, recognizing that
while maternal health influences the health of both boys and girls in the
future generations, so too the health needs of boys and men should be
recognized as equally important to all of society. We may argue later whether
or how much government should spend on public health measures; in the meantime,
men and boys must be given equal consideration under the law when there is such
funding.

Government-funded educational programs (such as scholarships), if they exist,
should either do away with preferential treatment by sex, or, be expanded to
include programs to encourage males to enter fields where they are
under-represented and or continue their education as they see fit. One way or
the other, the double standards in education must end.

Abolish medically unnecessary genital mutilation or surgery on infants and
minors. If a person wishes to have their genitals altered, they may make this
decision when they come of age.

There are documented and growing gender disparities in education with boys in
particular lagging behind girls in multiple areas across much of the developed
world. This must be addressed directly by looking at areas where boys as a
group may have different educational needs from girls, and where teachers may
be discriminating against boys consciously or unconsciously.

Conscription or registration for conscription (“selective service”) must either
be abolished or be an equal requirement for both sexes. One or the other…

We are under no illusion that all of these items will be automatically accepted overnight by everyone in the world, nor even that every men's advocate will necessarily agree with every word here. Nevertheless we believe it represents a road-map to a better future, and hope others will join, in whole or in part, in helping make these things happen.

This document last revised 3/11/2013. It is now
considered “final,” although others remain free to copy and use it to their own
purposes. However, modified copies must be clearly marked as modified from this
original. Further discussion and debate is not only allowed, it is encouraged!

The initiator and primary editor of this document was
Dean Esmay, who is solely responsible for any errors, omissions, or oversights.
Others who wish to be identified as having given suggestions, input, or other
collaboration should contact the author and let him know if they want to be
publicly acknowledged.

3/13/2013: minor typo fixed, “deciding care” changed
to “deciding to care,” removal of
unneeded colon and a couple of unneeded periods in titles.

3/17/2013: Stray HTML tags that crept into the
original removed. Addition of numbers to each of the goal statements, not for
priority purposes but solely to make them easy to distinguish in discussion.

4/3/2013: Removed stray tag.

7/28/2015: Came to check this document and found that
a noted cyberstalker and harasser named DIana Boston, aka Joy In Torah, had
vandalized it. It’s a good example of the sort of harassment and hate MRAs face
regularly in their efforts for having the basic rights of men respected as much
as those of women.--DE

AFLA Magazine

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"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home." (Tecumseh).

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