Kid Gamers Are “Ignorant Zombies”

Not that I’ve ever heard of an enlightened zombie or one that could quote Shakespeare and Socrates but that’s what parents have said about their own kids in a survey commissioned by Warwick Castle which is some kind of middle-ages castle that has been transformed into a tourist attraction complete with jousts and knights etc.

The survey polled 2000 parents across the UK and came to the profound and scientific conclusion that kids who play games for “hours on end” become “little brats” and “ignorant zombies”. The survey showed that 3 in 10 parents noticed a change in their child’s behaviour after playing video games for extended periods of time (yes, they were happier). 4 in 10 found it hard to get their kids to do anything. One sixth found that their kids became “aloof” after playing video games.

1 in 4 labelled their kids as “ignorant zombies” while 1 in 5 went for “little brats”. A tad suspicious how so many used the exact same phrases, huh? 28% said their kids became lethargic. A spokesperson for Warwick Castle said: “A large percentage of youngsters stick themselves in front of games consoles at every opportunity and for a long period of time. This is contributing to few kids playing outdoors, getting fresh air and it’s impacting on their school work and creativity.”

Basically, that entire survey is one big advertisement full of false data saying: Is your child lethargic and stuck indoors all day long? Has he become an ignorant zombie? Why not bring him down to Warwick Castle where we have nothing but outdoor fun for the whole family. Please, we need the business. Also, pay no attention to how conveniently this fits in with our need for your kids to not be preoccupied with something far more interesting like a video game.