C: Alex Trebek. You think that’s a hairpiece?A: I’ll tell you who wears a piece is that Bob Barker.C: No way!A: Way!C: I don’t watch much TV.A: Me either. No smell. You’d think they’d make it smell.C: You know who smelled the other night? (Names a frequent visitor.)A: Tell me about it. Bacon and pancakes!C: Bacon and waffles.A: Really? I didn’t get waffles. Real maple syrup, though.C: The best.A: Hmm. What about this reindeer business?C: Reindeer?A: I mean, reindeer can’t fly. Why not use birds? Birds fly.C: It’s the North Pole. You think there are birds at the North Pole?A: You think there are reindeer at the North Pole?C: Huh.A: I’ll tell you what else: Those aren’t real squirrels.C: What are you talking about?A: Those little squirrels they throw around the house for you to chase. They’re not real.C: But they fly!A: They throw them.C: They squeak!A: They can make anything squeak.C: The squirrels aren’t real? They seem so real.A: Sorry.C: I feel like such a fool.A: I shouldn’t have said anything. You’re getting a couple new squirrels in your stocking. Try not to let on.C: They seem so real.A: That’s the spirit. And you’re probably right about the reindeer.C: I don’t know …A: Don’t beat yourself up. Took me three years to figure out the mailman is just a mailman.C: Grrrr! The mailman!A: Easy, buddy. It’s just you and me.C: You mean the mailman’s not real either?A: Real but harmless. Just doing his job.C: But he shoves things at us through the door.A: Trash. Except for Martha Stewart.C: Love Martha Stewart!A: Just doing his job.C: You’re telling me the squirrels aren’t real? And the mailman is, but not to worry?A: Merry Christmas.C: And the FedEx guy?A: Grrrr! The FedEx guy!C: Just checking.