This has been
crazy. The names that I've found while playing EQ have been outrageous and
the list just kept growing and growing... For a while, I got a little self
righteous and decided that I wanted to make a point about the VI naming policy--
Or as I've found, the lack thereof. I really don't know why they bother to
stop people from naming themselves whatever they want since they do it anyway
but, since there's a farce of a rule in place, it's only fitting that both it
and the people who break it get a little publicity and some humorous description
to help those of us with names that fit in the boundaries of the rule cope with
those who don't.

If you find your name up here, I wish that I could apologize. You
shouldn’t have named yourself whatever it is that I’m making fun of. However,
there is hope for you yet. If you decide that yes, indeed you shouldn’t have
named yourself something blatantly dumb that VI wouldn’t have approved if their
name checker worked right, then contact a GM with a /petition and ask them to
change it. When they see your name, they’ll be happy to do so.

On that same note, I’d like to point out that I don’t
/report anyone for their foolish names even though technically, any player can
do so if they sight one of these. It’s not my business to get people to change,
just to let others see what kind of silliness comes up in Norrath here and
there. Hell, instead of apologizing to you all, I’m going to thank you.
Without your disregard for a real character name, I wouldn’t have been able to
make this page and no one could benefit from some of the humor within.

A note on format: The listing process has changed.
The sheer number has made it so that detailed descriptions will be shorter in
coming unless a name is voted into the top 20. Voting, for now, can be
done by sending an e mail. Any suggestion on how that could be done in a
more efficient manner would be a welcome addition to my e mail box.
For now, there's just a HUGE list at the bottom with a few comments here and
there. I'd like to fix that-- Just have to come up with a manner that's
more fitting.

Also, if you find a name that belongs on this list, send
me all the info you have about them. If you happen to come across one of the
names and you have their actual chosen surname, send that along and I’ll update
the entries. If anyone would like to argue for or against my descriptions, feel
free to send those too. Send to ineo1@yahoo.com. Look forward to hearing from
anyone. Enjoy.

Special Note: Maybe I should break the list up into
class or race-- Then we can see just how unoriginal people are-- I say this
because I've found a LOT of similarities between bad names across different
servers. If anyone has an opinion, I'd like to hear it.

1)Gunamugya (Rogue)

The
new number one slot! This pathetic excuse for a name had to be worse than any
other I had seen for a while. Gunamugya. This kind of gibberish does not make
people think, contrary to stupid naming convention belief. It just makes us
groan and wish to God that we could player kill a few times. Gunamugya reminds
me of the guy I saw in UO the first month it was online named ‘GayBill Bob’
(referred to later in this document) who only wore red boots and a red hat.
Back at the time, he was sitting by a river and was the object of more than 15
player kills. I was given a back pack full of his body parts to take into town
and show everyone. I think that pretty much sums up the feelings of people
about stupid names.

Parents: These people are straight up
idiots. They have to be the types that work the night circuit, running scams or
drugs or whatever so they could get their fix. Gunamugya was one of those
street kids that begs for loose change and verbally abuses anyone that passes.
But he always kept to the shadows… Probably because his parents told him that
they were embarrassed about his genetic defects that happened from their over
indulgence of Kelethin Opium (a product made from the fat of Orc Pawns). It
causes severe malformation of the skull, arms and torso. Very ugly. Angry that
no one would give, Gunamugya turned to hate filled violent crime and earned his
wicked name

Surnames: Gunamugya Cashnjools—Well,
why not? He already sucks, why bother to keep it real? Gunamugya N’Urmom—He
can’t really like parents much, his are the epitome of loser (just look at their
finest invention).

2)Twodawgz (Enchanter)

Where to begin? I’m not quite sure why someone might want to suffer the whole
game with a name like this but wouldn’t you imagine that they would be the
object of ridicule? This is the epitome of d00d speak. Couldn’t you just see
this guy showing up in front of your high level character saying ‘D00d, letz
gr0up s0 we k3n g3t s0m3 phat l3w7z yo.’? I don’t know… I can’t believe it got
through the name identifier. Maybe Unodawgz was taken…

Parents: I’m thinking that this guy had
foster parents. They named him Twodawgz because of the union that brought him
about. So what if he was a freak of nature? They had to be Norrathian White
Trash (gnomes or something where they wouldn’t have been able to tell if the two
having sex were dogs or gnomes til they lifted their legs and found that they
were endowed.)

Surnames: Twodawgz Onebitch—Makes
sense, we got a story in this name. A love triangle between some gangstas and
their ho. Maybe his name is his life story (deep). Twodawgz Undacutz—You know,
two homies out to make their mark on the world but the man keeps em down. They
were undacut cause they couldn’t hack it in the world with the man—that
bastard. By the way, who the hell is ‘the Man’ anyways? Twodawgz Indaheat—I’m
pretty sure you can figure that one out on your own.

3)Taimaishoo (Rogue)

Taking the names of characters from books is one thing. You name your character
Frawdo or something and at least you’re trying to stay in genre. But taking the
name of some annoying Asian rapper (is he really Asian even?) is obnoxious.
This name is insulting to everyone because I wouldn’t want to have to /tell a
guy named Taimaishoo. It’s a little long for one thing but the worst part is
that you’re calling him ‘Tai’ for short. Racial comments aside, I think that
this guy wasn’t being at all serious and just seeing if he could get away with
it. Here’s a tip: If you figure out that you can get away with a dumb name,
congratulate yourself and make a real name. Otherwise, go play UO and come up
with all the stupid ass ‘Gay Bill Bob’ names you want.

Parents: Lunatics from Qeynos
obviously. Probably living out next to Surefall Glade like hippies—preaching
peace in Blackburrow and no more war. They name their child this because it has
a nice ring to it and they don’t really care what they would normally call him.
Dungass would’ve worked just as well but they thought that it might cause him to
be dysfunctional (er?). No wonder he became a criminal—It would be hard to
stand the verbal assaults of other kids about your parents being sick looking,
hippy losers but then to have your name attacked even more hard core would drive
anyone to the wrong side of the tracks—even a someone with a queer name like
Taimaishoo.

Surnames: Taimaishoo Washmaiting—May as
well take this to the next level and continue this stupid ass naming
convention. Playing with the Asian language is kind of childish don’t you
think? =).

4)Dudad (Halfling Druid)

You
know, I almost (and I do mean almost) accept this name—if there were tinkers in
the game. But a druid? What kind of self respecting druid is going to be named
the colloquial expression for a gadget or trinket? Nature lover my ass.
Granted, he had the sense to change the spelling a little bit—Maybe he’s a
French doodad but regardless this is absurd. How did the naming convention miss
this? Did it think he was being duh dad? That’s even better—Indicates a stupid
child and just what we need is more stupid druids.

Parents: These people had to carpenters
or maybe a menial labor job. Their kid pops out and the father affectionately
refers to him as ‘Dudad’ (Halfling accent). Nevermind the fact that he calls
his penis this too (after all, they aren’t called Halflings for
nothing). I would suspect that his childhood wasn’t as bad as the
others—because Halflings just don’t care. Not as bad as gnomes, you COULD be
named Dungass and people wouldn’t treat you any differently. Maybe VI just
doesn’t bother with the naming convention on Halflings and Gnomes because they
are so disadvantaged already they might as well have whatever horrible names
people can come up with.

Surnames: Dudad Butcrack—I know that
it’s vulgar but at least it rolls off the tongue, Dudad Dugnleass—That had to
fit someone and alliteration is always popular, Dudad Indapants—Sorta after his
ol’man.

5)Blastnasty (Erudite Magician)

Wow. Creativity at its finest. Blastnasty. Would you group with this guy?
Wouldn’t it be embarrassing to tell people ‘Blastnasty is coming to group with
us’? I mean, I could almost see this as a nick name for a Wizard but the proper
name of a Magician? No. How on Earth did it let anything with Blast OR nasty
into a name let alone both together?? VI needs to spend more time nerfing names
than cool stuff in the game

Parents: Blastnasty grew up in Toxx and
as a result his poor perfance skills in his classes was given this name by his
professors. His parents, proud members of the magician society, had originally
named him ‘Reginald Darren Markus Verdonshire’ but that name didn’t fit the
little punk that couldn’t mix his components correctly and nearly mutilated
himself on sixteen occasions. I guess that paying attention in school does have
a purpose.

Surnames: Blastnasty Underpants—has a
diarrhea reference to it. Or Blastnasty Biggaboom—This continues his ineptitude
though he would probably be best suited to Blastnasty Barlymdit considering the
past we’ve given him.

6)Eardrumbreaker (Bard)

I
guess that his class went without saying. No confidence—you see, our society is
breeding a generation of people that have no confidence. They know they’re
going to suck in life and in the world so they just ease the pain by admitting
it before other people find out. Whatever, this guy is a prick in game too.
He’s got that D00d speak mentality but can’t type well enough to pull it out of
his ass like some of the other losers can. Does that make him more of a loser?
Yeah, I think so.

Parents: Well, I think that they were
amazing Bards in Kelethin but their child was born deaf or mostly so. When he
tried to sing, boom! Everyone knew that he sucked so they gave him the
graceless name of Eardrumbreaker. Maybe he was just trying to be revolutionary
and generate the first Korn of Norrath. Most likely he just really sucked and
so when they kicked him out, they probably never intended to see him again.
Unfortunately for them, the population of Norrath actually consists of nice
people who kept this schmoe alive for at least nine levels. One can always hope
he takes on more than he can chew however….

Surnames: Eardrumbreaker Suckalot—Not
very original but is this guy really going to make it to 20th level?
Might as well carry on with the sucking motif. Eardrumbreaker van’Schlinkytime—I’m
not sure where that came from but it had a nice ring to it. Plus, everyone will
know he’s coming not just from the beaten seal sounds that come out of his mouth
but from the huge ass name attached to his head.

7)Tosheeba (High Elf Magician)

I
think this is amusing—What the hell was he thinking?? Why not name your
character something like ‘Coompack’ or ‘Mecrasawft’? No, I’m not suggesting it
but why have so little creativity that you name yourself not after a movie star
or a character from a movie or book but after a company that manufactures
stuff. How horribly dumb and pathetic can you be? I’m serious here—if you lack
enough creativity that you can’t go beyond companies then you just need to play
solitaire and immerse yourself in the worldly joys of the Wall street Journal.
Whatever this guy had in mind, he deserves to be in the top 10 of stupid, boring
and uncreative names. Again, this should’ve been nerfed early on.

Parents:
Capitalists—Capitalist/socialists (how could it get any worse?) They knew that
one day they would be able to start a company mass producing cheap equipment to
sell to those poor bastards on Antonica but the time wasn’t right. So, since
they couldn’t name their burgeoning company what they wanted (due to the fact
that Felwithe law states that no business will be started when the business has
nothing to offer—it’s one of those things that got repealed when web designers
came onto the scene because it wasn’t fair to them) they just named their kid
after it. Beyond that, he had a reasonably normal life because no one was aware
of the Toshiba empire quite yet. It’s now that he’s taking all the flack for
it. Probably time to change the name…

Surnames: Tosheeba Wa’Renti— This makes
sense in a way. It sticks with the naming convention in a way and continues to
abuse the rest of us with a name that makes us hang our heads in embarrassment
and irritation. I think he should go with this. In fact, I’ll send him a /tell
when I see him on again. Maybe he’ll go with our idea and move himself up a few
places on the stupid ass character list.

8)Huggiis (Bard)

It’s
bad enough to be a playing this game with the likes of Dudad and Tosheeba but
now we have to play with Diapers too?? This guy couldn’t have realized what he
was doing. Who in God’s name would name their character after diapers? I’m at
a loss… You know where this is going for the parents thing.

Parents: His parents were very
uncreative but their child was incredibly gifted—at making interesting designs
with the fecal matter he produced quite liberally. They were the first
Norrathians to come up with the new invention of diapers and as a result, they
named them after their young child. Huggies (they didn’t want it to be that
close) became a household brand name. Not necessarily something that Huggiies
needs to hear. Innkeepers always remind em though of the motto that made the
parents rich: ‘And a round of applause for outstanding dryness and good fresh
air!’ (he wasn’t a very successful bard and a lot of people had to leave during
his performances).

Surnames: Let’s go with the obvious
first: Huggiis Fullasht (sorry, that one was coming). Huggiis Gentle’Air (you
know they provide excellent fresh air these days to keep the babies skin dry!).
Huggiis Dry’Touch (I just can’t resist all the diaper references but I think
they deserved it) :P

9)Bigtuffguy (Ogre Shadow Knight)

You
know, this name would not have been on this list if he would’ve made a warrior
instead. But no. He had to play a Shadow Knight. Bigtuffguy has the ring of a
big dumb ass and I think that warriors fit that bill rather nicely. What this
poor bastard needed to do was stay away from a class that casts spells and he
would not have been ridiculed for a stupid name. At least people can just call
him big when they are in a group.

Parents: Well, I wasn’t aware that
Ogres had parents—I thought it was all about mud and rock and sloppy goo but
let’s pretend. The ogres that had him insisted on this name despite the fact
that he showed magical inclination and was able to go into training as a Shadow
Knight. Wow. That was deep. Well, Ogres aren’t very deep are they? No one
was going to mess with him because with a name like Bigtuffguy only Bigstrnguy
was going to be capable of whooping on him. Therefore, this ogre reached
maturity and was able to waste our time with his pathetic name.

Surnames: Bigtuffguy Sugadaddy—I don’t
know, it had a ring to it. Also, maybe a Bigtuffguy would become a Bigtuffpimp.
Bigtuffguy Onewordkilla—Gotta give him some glory. I’m sure he can bash some
skulls in pretty well. It’s a shame that there are so few ogres and trolls but
so many stupid ass names for them. Ah well.

10)Rahmen (Ranger

Did
he think he’d escape the list? No, I’m afraid not. This isn’t even subtle.
Okay, this is worse than naming yourself after a company (though not worse than
diapers—At least he’s not directly related to shit). Being named after food is
about the silliest thing I’ve heard of with one exception: Wood Elves and
Rangers COULD be named after stuff like Berries and fruit and stuff cause that
was available at the time—But Rahmen?! What the hell? ‘Level 8 Cheap Ass Meal
looking for Pot to Brew in’.

Parents: They were poor. They invented
a new meal concept—Their son. Fleeing into the woods, he escaped the hunger of
his family only to have to learn the ways of the wild on his own. Of course, in
his absence they figured out how to mix noodles and a bunch of other nasty crap
together and invented the real mixture that is their son’s name sake. In any
case, he has yet to realize that he is popular amongst college students, the
poor and the poor of taste.

Surnames: Rahmen Ondastove—Kinda sounds
Russian doesn’t it? Probably wouldn’t get nerfed either which is the sad part.
Rahmen Outhass—Another one that has a ring to it that probably wouldn’t
necessarily get nerfed. I imagine that regardless, he’s going to be getting
teased when looking for groups regardless.

SPECIAL NOTE: I saw his character—the
actual surname that he picked even I couldn’t believe was so brazen: Noodles.
Rahmen Noodles. Got away with it twice. So much for subtlety…..

11)Medtech (Cleric)

I
understand leaving genre but jumping to post apocalyptic cyberpunk stuff is
really bad. I guess if you’re just fooling around that’s one thing but this
lack of creativity—to name your character after a profession—is just wrong. I
could see a 6 year old playing Dungeons and Dragons name their 1st
Level Warrior ‘Fighter’ but for someone who has to be over the age of 13 (I
hope) to pull this name out of their ass is just insulting. I think that
whoever this is deserves to be nerfed out of EQ. That’s why they got the Number
10 slot because I’m hoping that someone will come along and take this slot from
them ASAP.

Parents: This character was a clone.
Created for the express purpose of healing the masses. There was no parents, no
compassion, no friendship. Only the cold, harsh desire to go forth and heal
those in pain and misery. This experiment went awry however, and somehow the
character became self aware—no longer was there a desire to simply heal and help
the sick but now the character wanted experience and levels to better heal the
sick and eventually rule the world!! All in time…

Surnames: I would love it if we could
use numbers for the Surnames cause then I would just have this guy be Medtech
1. But since we can’t, I think he should remain simply ‘Medtech’. It wouldn’t
really do for a title to have a surname would it?

12)Conahn (Ranger)

There have been a billion incarnations of this name floating around, bothering
those of us who try to think of original names in the midst of our playing but I
finally wrote one down. This is the most interesting spelling of the name I’ve
seen yet. Gives a certain Eastern European raider feel to it. Maybe he’s
related to the ‘Kahns’ or perhaps an old world rival. In either case, it wasn’t
good enough for the top ten but still deserved mentioning.

Parents: Potential. It rang through
the very sinews of young Conahn but they knew they couldn’t name him Conan
because of copyright infringement. Hoping that their powerful son would go on
to become great things, they named him appropriately only to find… that he
became a ranger. Imagine the disappointment! Hoping for a powerful warrior
with great stories to tell, they get a tree hugging archer that poorly mirrors
the warrior’s talents. Disowned, unloved and alone, Conahn moves through the
world in an attempt to redeem his name to his family and make his mark.

Surnames: Conahn da’Cauminer—He’s not
really cool enough to be a Destroyer and barbarian’s can’t be rangers so… this
one worked.

13)Toodle (Anon)

With
a name like this, I’d be anon as well. Makes me want to puke. Toodle. This is
just wrong. It has more negative attachments than I can possibly attribute to
it. Of course, he has to be happy that he’s number thirteen and not in the top
ten but that’s only because I didn’t have the heart to give such a loser a
sterling place even amongst other losers.

Parents: Since he was anon, there’s
little we can tell about this enigmatic oaf. I would guess that he was adopted
and since the old crone’s prize dog passed on, she gave him the name. In this
sense, he’d be Toodle the Second. Maybe he looked like a dog—A dwarf or gnome…
maybe even an exceptionally ugly Halfling (I know, I know… that’s a misnomer).
In any event, let’s just hope that he’s not a melee character. I could just
hear his war cry ‘Worry not commoner! Toodle will save you! Stand back you
menacing orc! Toodle fights for justice!’

Surnames: Going with the adoption:
Toodle da’Poodle. Just perfect. I get the vision of a curly haired geeky mage
roaming the land trying to live down his horrible name. da’Poodle will forever
haunt his dreams as she tried to groom him to be like her dog, even discouraging
conversation ‘a poodle can’t talk toodle!’ /cringe.

14)Loghed (Human Necromancer)

This
one cracks me up. Another name that had it been with a different class/race
combination, I wouldn’t have even taken notice but what self respecting
Necromancer is going to go by ‘Loghed’. Maybe he didn’t realize that this was
going to be pronounced by everyone who saw it as ‘Loghead’ but that’s a big
maybe. More likely, he was just thinking he was clever and falling utterly
short in between the realm of stupid and dumb.

Parents: Wood working humans up in the
backwoods of the Faydark, living their own way with their family circle. Mom is
Loghed’s sister and cousin as well. His brother is his father and uncle. They
have that really obnoxious accent that no one can ever understand and the type
of teeth that you might need if you were a Great White shark. The perversions
that this poor child knew are without limit. I shiver to think about what
specifically about ‘working’ with the dead attracted him.

Surnames: Loghed Woodfellow (if he’s
going with his parent’s surname when he comes of age—A commentary on not only
their profession but the reason that they can’t keep their hands off their kin
in the reproductive sense). Loghed Redwood (Might as well carry a name akin to
the trees that he’s named after).

15)Sweetmilk (Wood Elf Druid)

What
in God’s name is this? It gives me some really sick images of what brought
about this character’s conception or even worse, the birth. Some people must
just have no creativity at all. Why are they playing a role playing game in the
first place? I’m sure that a lot of people are right now saying ‘EQ is hardly a
role playing game!’ and I suppose that I agree. I mean, with Sweetmilk racking
up some cash for porting around the world (if this sorry ass fool made it so
high), I doubt that he/she cared about their particular namesake. What’s it
matter when you’re just playing a collection of numbers? Well, if it doesn’t
matter then please pick something that the rest of us don’t groan at. Sweetmilk
sounds perverted. Let’s take a look at the parents…

Parents: Sweetmilk is the byproduct of
Sourmilk and Sugarmilk, the child falling somewhere in between. The parents
thought they were so clever that they brought their child to the attention of
all the other wood elves—only to be ridiculed. See, they received their names
from their parents because they were 1) Irritable and annoying (Sourmilk’s
parents were VERY unhappy with him) and 2) Spoiled rotten and annoying (Sugarmilk
didn’t come by this name from her parents but rather from society after she
married Sourmilk because while she wasn’t necessarily as disliked as he was, the
union brought about a bit of a paradox). When Sweetmilk was born, the world
mourned the previous notion that there would be no more milk’s in the world.
Sadly, this druid probably still roams Norrath, spoiling the hopes of
seriousness and roleplaying everywhere he/she sets foot.

Surnames: Sweetmilk Gotsome—I only use
this one because there’s of course, Gotheal the Wood Elf warrior who will be
appearing in a few minutes and why not just use the Gotsome trademark a bit more
shamelessly? I mean, the name Sweetmilk sucks so bad, I don’t think we could
make it much worse with a surname.

16)Notmuch (Human Monk)

He
got the name right. Anyone fool who goes to this length to flaunt their lack of
self esteem has the right to be agreed with. This human loser came up with a
beautiful name to explain just why he’s on this list. Cause he’s ‘Notmuch of a
creative player’. Although, he gets credit for one thing: He got this name
through the checker. I would’ve thought that ‘Notmuch’ wouldn’t have made it
but ah well… here we are anyways…

Parents: Notmuch’s parents didn’t quite
know what to do with their child who was not very interesting nor intelligent
but really liked to beat on things. They gave him up to the temple to learn
martial arts mainly hoping that he would grow out of his foolishness.
Unfortunately, they set him up to fail. His name comes from when people asked
about him and they said ‘Oh, he’s not much.’ It just sort of stuck like a pet
name. Notmuch figured out what his name meant early on but rather than change
it when he came of age to do so (IE Character Creation) he chose to accept what
fate would call him and wear it as a badge of his pathetic past.

Surnames: Notmuch Talookat—At first
glance, this name might even be figured to be real. In reality, it’s just
further explaining how lame he is. Notmuch Evenless, Notmuch Anudermonk (Too
many of them running around anyways, right?) Notmuch Buttmunch (Just to have a
vulgar option for him).

17)Gotheal (Wood Elf Warrior)

Thinking that he was going to bypass a step for asking for heals, instead he
ends up on this list prominently displayed low because this is just too pathetic
to move up. I think that the whole ‘Got whatever’ phrase has been abused to the
point of total annoyance rather than anything funny or cool. From ‘Got Blood’
to ‘Got Sex’ and everything in between, I guess it was just a matter of time
before the ‘Got’ craze invaded EQ names. Let’s move on…

Parents: His parents thought they were
so ingenious. Gotheal is the oldest of several siblings. There’s ‘Gotsow’ (his
rogue brother), ‘Gotbreeze’ (a druid sister), ‘Gotbuffs’ (bard sister),
‘Gotplat’ (It’s a brother but he doesn’t have a profession), and ‘Gotlewtz’ (a
ranger brother who calls himself a ‘ranja’ just cause it’s ‘cooler’.) They
figured that they would monopolize the ‘Got’ names and made quite the litter of
fools to annoy other players. And so they set them loose on the world and all
we can do is pray that they don’t start shouting ‘Got lvl 5 warrior lfg’. =P

Surnames: Gotheal Goneberzerk—If he’s
trying to bypass any typing, this one is probably best. Gotheal Brokentank—Just
has the right ring to it if he really needs a heal that is. Gotheal Ondaground—Maybe
he’s not smart enough to realize that people would notice if he was still alive
and on the ground… Who knows?

18)
Youcant (Human, Druid)

Perhaps another of the 'lazy names' in that when people run up to him and say
'Ken I get sow/port/buffs/phat l3wtz plz', he doesn't have to answer. A good
question here is whether Youcant is pathetic because the name is bad or because
he couldn’t even beat Gotheal on the list. The only thing that’s truly
surprising about this name however, is that it’s not a Rogue…

Parents: Those guys from Surefall
Glade… *sigh*. At one time, Youcant had a glorious and noble name, one worthy
not only of Norrathian legend but also conforming to the rigors of VI’s naming
policy. However, he was just too much of a troublesome child and his parents
were put to the test with his incessant whining and begging to do things he
wasn’t allowed to do. The phrase ‘You can’t…’ was so associated with him that
eventually, it became more convenient to simply address him as such
permanently. This is why I think that all Humans of the Surefall Glade area
should be sterilized. The gene pool of Norrath is already a murky mess. It
doesn’t have to get stinky now too.

Surnames: Youcant Tuchthis—Yeah, I know
that this is pretty bad but it wouldn’t be surprising if that’s what he picked.

19)
Punchalotapeeps (Iksar, Monk)

Iksar have problems in general. This particular one decided to personify his
disposition of violence through his name and help everyone realize just what an
antisocial little bastard he really is. If this was Ultima Online, Puncha here
would be KOS to more than just NPCs. I guess that there is a bright side: At
least there aren’t bodies of this fool lying all over every zone in Norrath.

Parents: Hatched from an especially
disgusting and putrid egg, Puncha decided to rename himself from the
disheartening name ‘Beatnbyalotapeeps’ after he couldn’t display any skill in
the practice arena. His former masters find his name particularly amusing since
they never saw him do more than snivel and run around the ring with his tail
unceremoniously tucked between his legs. Definitely one that they should’ve fed
to the Froglok slaves…

Surnames: Punchalotapeeps Kickalotarse—Again,
it’s got a ring to it. Punchalotapeeps Indaface—Carry out the action so that we
know just what he’s like or maybe one that displays his old disposition:
Punchalotapeeps Soikenrunaway—Maybe his name is more of a plea than a brag.

20)
Whackem (Gnome, Warrior)

What’s more of a joke? His name or his class? That’s what I had to decide
when I put his name at number 20 in the list. Anything that a giant could step
on without noticing should not try to call itself a warrior. Gnome’s in general
are really only good for 3 things: Creeping people out, Providing an annoying
alternative to boredom (that of being irritated by inane babble) and dying
horribly when they try to tank for a group. I’m not sure what Whackem was
hoping to ‘whack’ but you can bet it was more of a personal ambition than one
directed at monsters.

Parents: Caught him in the act of his
personal depravity and decided that it was just so horrifying that they couldn’t
possibly call him ‘son’ anymore. Thus began the glorious career of the Warrior
Whackem and his fixation with his personal anatomy. Leaving home was easy—It
didn’t matter where he was so long as he could indulge in his name whenever
possible. Perhaps when he has a surname he can branch out to involving others
in his perverted practices.

Ran Walker-- If the NPC's in
EQ are going to have ridiculous names, how can people be expected to name
themselves appropriately? Consequently, I should also mention the banker
in Firiona Vie-- Wellis Fargin (or something close to that... been a while since
I've been there.)

Collinpowel (Wood Elf Bard).
This sounds like one of the National Enquirer kind of things: "Bat Boy
Claims that Colin Powel is a Wood Elf!"

Skunkworks (High Elf Cleric).
People would think twice before attending this person's services.

Bigbadbackk (Dark Elf Rogue).
Setting himself up for the surname 'stabba' or something.

Lepperkohn (High Elf Paladin).
He could have at least made himself a Gnome paladin. Lepperkohn? Is
this a statement about having the disease? Being one of those freaks
dressed in green? Or a combination?

Huggiebear (Anon-- He was in
the guild 'Riders of the Apocalypse at the time)

Addvil (Druid, Wood Elf)

Justinkredible (Enchanter,
High Elf) <-- That the name got through?

Stickyou (Rogue, Barbarian)

Demac (Warrior, Barbarian)

Iameveryones (Monk, Iksar) <--
The surname had to be classic

Sqweekyfrom (Enchanter,
Erudite) <-- The implications of what the surname will be are kind of scary.

Obvious (Paladin, Dwarf)

Ilegal (Shaman, Iksar)

Bigbadbackk (Rogue, Dark Elf)

Darkelfmaga (See name)

Rakkun (Enchanter, Erudite)

Beachbum (Enchanter, High Elf)

Whytehot (Wizard, Human) <--
Should have been Flamingloser.

Boogiemonster (Warrior, Ogre)

Linkbiznatch (Rogue, Half Elf)

Teleportte (Druid, Wood Elf)

Ultasonic (Monk, Iksar)

Ttoppcatt (Rogue, Vah Shir)

Kaymartt (Monk, Human)

Getinya (Rogue, Vah Shir) <--
Are rogues more prone to dumb names? This should be looked into.

SlotsMachine (Paladin,
Dwarf)

Ubercasino (Unknown--
Submission from Highpass)

WelikewudieHowboutyou
(Warrior, Gnome) <-- Too lazy to ask the question, he can roam around with a hot
key that says 'See my name-- answer please'.

Fhaast (Monk, Human)

RoadblawkYoosdetoor
(Warrior, Ogre)

Meanmistertrix (Druid, Wood
Elf) Tired of not being able to eat his favorite cereal, the Trix rabbit decided
to become one of the million Druids on the Lanys server and prove his wickedness
by expressing his disposition in his name-- This would avoid confusion overall
and speed up the process of denial.

Hihihi (Paladin, Dwarf)

JumpingForjoy (Druid,
Wood Elf)

Nipplequeen (Unknown,
Submission)

Tightbottom Wigglesalot
(Unknown, Submission)

Buuk Futter (Unknown,
Submission)

Darkgift Unwrapme (Cleric,
Dark Elf)

Venerable Dwunkin Donuts
(Unknown, Submission) <-- I wouldn't say venerable is the right title... what
about Outtabusiness?

Cleric (Cleric, High Elf) <--
For a time, the surname was 'Oftunare' but VI nerfed it. (Submitted info)