OSU Boosters Encouraged To Not Make It Rain This Weekend [TWEETS]

This is what it has come to for NCAA football programs: Twitter accounts that look fake, but aren’t and are actually advising boosters on how to behave in society. The above tweet came down this morning from the OSU Compliance Twitter account. Too good to be true? Totally legit. Gene Smith follows. You might remember him as one of Jim Tressel’s biggest supporters and as A.D. of thee Ohio State University.

More compliance fun facts from OSU:

A HS coach would like a) 2 FB comp admissions through a pass list & b) a sideline pass to watch the game on field for 1 half. Permissible?

Thanks to all season ticket holders who read our email & asked ?s! Remember, as a season ticket holder you are a booster under NCAA rules.

You are also considered a booster if you provide PERMISSIBLE benefits (e.g., summer jobs) to SAs, join/contribute to booster groups, etc.

You want to know how we know college football is officially #$%^ up?

When humans have to be directed how to act, who not to give money to, not to have contact with another human (18-23) and that having season tickets somehow makes said human lose rights granted to him under some document housed in D.C.

So, let’s get this straight, no contact with a recruit? What happens if you just happened to be given a table at a strip club next to some 18-year-old brick-shithouse linebacker from Cleveland Glenville?

It’s dark, strippers are blocking your view, but all of a sudden you’re like “F$%^, it’s Jacquez Grant!”

You slap your buddy (OSU ’01) on the shoulder, but he’s $100 deep into a four song lap dance. Sweat starts to pour down your back. Both of you have season tickets (re: boosters) and the stripper grinding on Jacquez was slapping her boobs in your face 15 minutes earlier.

Do you (a.) tweet a question to OSU Compliance to see if you’re officially busted, or (b.) tweet the NCAA to figure out if a secondary violation (via stripper sweat) has occurred.