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Monday, January 30, 2012

Why do I constantly think about herWhy do I contemplate what ifShe was gone before I knew itWe didn't even kissHow does she lingerWithin my heartAll I had was a ghostWithin my handsI saw a dreamGo through my fingersLike sandPassing betweenI cannot sleepI cannot dreamWithout her coming to meLoving meEmbracing meI cannot forgetI cannot let goBut I've no chanceThere's no hopeSo why can't I stopThinking about herWhy can't it endThe regret is a danceI can't followI struggle with the thoughtOf all that might have beenThe circumstanceThe hidden chanceThat escaped meChance hates meMy heart will never mendUntil I forgetAnd that won't happenEverSo I'll have to make doWith regretMy only friend

Nearing the war's endA dramatic tide drew to a closeThe world changed in many waysDue to the Hitler warControl shifted over landThe fields were filled with the deadSome lay still above the landMade stiff by the cold freezePolitical foes were made friendsBy the threat of a mutual enemyThe Eagle and the BearBoth born in revolutionReached across the ElbeJubilationLinking forcesAnd quickly thereafterThe end cameFor the crooked crossAnnihilation

"Elbe Day, April 25, 1945, was the date Soviet and American troops met at the River Elbe, near Torgau in Germany, marking an important step toward the end of the World War II in Europe. The first contact was made between patrols near Strehla, when First Lieutenant Albert Kotzebue crossed the River Elbe in a boat with three men of an intelligence and reconnaissance platoon. On the east bank, they met forward elements of a Soviet Guards-rifle-regiment of the First Ukrainian Front under the command of Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Gardiev. The same day, another patrol under Second Lieutenant William Robertson with Frank Huff, James McDonnell and Paul Staub met Soviet Lieutenant Alexander Silvashko with some soldiers on the destroyed Elbe bridge of Torgau."

Sunday, January 29, 2012

They resistIdeologies wrestleNo finalityIdeas exist If fictionIf truthThreats and provocations With or without proofAttacksInformation gatheredDecisions madeResponseImmediateFear RetaliationCycles renew War continuation OblivionAnew

Saturday, January 28, 2012

With a thirst impossible to slakeA figure stands still, and watchingIn the middle of the nightRight before the caravan is to wakeTo travel before the dayWith the heat and blinding lightOf the desert sunA guard stands in the simmering wind stormIn daylight the storm will bring sufferingThe sand above the solid groundStill warm, upon his feetThe dry air and the abrasive sandFeels like burning sleet upon his faceThe heat that blasts makes men tiredExhaustedEven after sleepA brief blast of the ram hornThe alarm soundsThe Bedouin have surrounded the campAnd begin to attackWith little warningInvading the dreamsOf the Sultan's menAnd the caravan

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Her name was MariaAnd she stood thereStaring out in spaceFor the world given to herWas beyond her embraceShe was bright and talentedBut cold to the touchWith a heart of cold forged steelShe never experienced a tasteOf the world she was bornOf the world her creator madeShe was createdFor a purposeBeyond the reach of fate

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I eat meatI am diseasedThe industry of slaughterOf harvestHas meA customer of its killingThe dominion of humans of natureI am a party to the choiceTo be oneWho looks awayAt the consequencesOf my hunger

Monday, January 23, 2012

Love is not a gameNor can you winWhatever it is you giveYou should not expect returnLove is bound with painFear and sorrow will be withinBut whatever the costHowever much your lust may burnYou can find loveYou can live againBy livingBy lovingBy givingYourself

Sunday, January 22, 2012

When I was youngI saw thousands of cultures pass throughTrading spices and goodsFor goldThe Romans were hereEgyptians and BabyloniansBedouins and SyriacsArabs and PersiansTurks and GreeksAll passed through my gatesEvery people of every nationWelcomed with graceOfferings and feastsAnd then the paths turnedThe journeys stoppedThe visitors leftAnd I sleptFor I am ancientBut I will wakeIn a future timeWhen the world is readyFor oblivion endFor I am PalmyraAnd I will return

Saturday, January 21, 2012

The dragon ships move like lightningThe sails struck by the windMake the sound of thunderStriking south from Northern landsRising upon the horizonThe sails strike fearInto all who see thisUpon the shoresWaiting for the stormTo hitThe Norse are readyTo harvest their yieldThe year passed has allowedThe Saxons to rebuildThe walls erectedA people formerly proudNow quiver waitingThe Norsemen leave burning fieldsBehind their harvest

Friday, January 20, 2012

No matter the joys that upliftThere is weight that pulls downNo matter the light that we seekWe scream, without soundLife is sufferingLife is goodLife is fireLife is woodRelentless miseryInexorable majestyLife isWithout definitionIt is to be

Stacked like woodFor burningThe logs for a new fireWhen hatred would liveThere was no sorrowNo sadnessJust numbStacking the woodIn the ovensThe smoke risingHumanity diedThe morality struck dumbFor the final questionWould have an answerThe death of hopeCancerThe human born hell

Open arms we are welcomedBy oblivion's embraceWe are the pestilenceWe are the contagionWe are AzraelThe Angel of Death

Thursday, January 19, 2012

In a place far awayUnable to be visitedIn sleep born dreamsDeath is masterHe reignsThe land is wickedRough and dangerousBeasts hunt thereWithout worry for modern weaponsTo stop themPredators hunt the weakFor the next morningThe dead are rebornTo begin the cycle againOf hunters and huntedPredators and preyDeath is uninterestedIn frank discussionsDoesn't listen to prayersFor there is no escapeAnd the realm is hisWith which to letHis pets play

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

There is a fence strung around my heartIt tears my flesh when I prayMy spirit reaches outBut pulls back in dismayShredded tendons and skinBlood pouring from the puncturesThe fence shakes from the impactMy body wracked from the sinsThe journey is now reaching terminusThe foundation weak in structureThe fence is my own makingI've ignored the instructionsTo beNow I am forsaking allTo hold my self inWithout breaking

So empty and lostBleeding black insideI am lostAll wrong I can't feel anythingI am hollowLike dyingWithout vision orMy inner voiceI see nothing I can't hear a soundWhy is God so silent Is this unholy groundWithout true contritionIs there forgivenessI am not brokenBut I've been broken downI am imperfectThis is no easy journeyThe path is hard to findBut if I keep on tryingI might avoid the floodThe deluge might be comingBut I am climbing the cliff wallPerhaps I might just make itOr maybeThis is the end to it all

Existence of my fleshNeither negates nor proves my beingResistance of my willIs not offered up to be redeemedRather than proof my being is a jailMy soul is eternalThe flesh is the place of my sorrowsTortured cries of painRain down the tearsLet the ego flowI am a momentLet the wine of my blood be drunkBy those who sop their breadIn my ichorsWhen I am undoneLet them sup upon my tormentMy limbs and neck may be severedI do not desire to be here longFor the flesh is veilCovering the doorway to foreverAnd I am tiredAnd I am done

Monday, January 16, 2012

I'd call it a dreamBut I wasn't asleepI saw, with my eyesMy own eyesSo I know my dream was realBut I can't decide,If I was fortunateOr cursedFor I'll never seeSomeone so beautifulAgainThis being was perfectSo beautifulLike a PrincessWho rose upAnd walked towards meUp from the watersAnd shore's reedsShe was silentWith eyes so clear blueShe was more than I could believeBut there she wasWithout words of my ownI just gazed at her formFor she was clearly from another placeThan this oneI was aloneAnd saw herAnd she walked towards meEmbraced meTouched meKissed meTears streamed downFor she was my loveReturned to meAnd I was homeWherever she might deign to dwellI don't know what happened nextWas I asleep, but awakeIn heaven turned hellI don't knowBut I do know thisI'll never see another personSo beautifulSo stunningly beautifulAs her

It took just oneOne Remington 760 GamemasterOne fingerOne hotel open windowChanged the wayWe understood the worldOne fingerPerhaps though, many handsTook away a prophetWho sought to cleanse the nationTo redeem the struggleTo condemn the hatredAnd unify this land

We don't know herWe only know about herShe died horriblySevered, sawed in twoBut she was a personLiving a small lifeWishing for great thingsBut never becoming a wifeOf the war heroOr movie starOr anything worth her whileJust a personDeserving moreThan what happened

I never touched herI never kissed herI never embraced herNever even met herBut she loved meSaid she needed meSaid she wanted meSaid she lusted meSomething inside me criedBecause I never didNo I never didAnd yetI wanted itSo bad

I've been overcomeI've been overwhelmedBy memories of youI've dreamed those dreamsI've died in vainOver and overWoken in grass covered in dewAlone againWithout my friendThe one who makes me renewI still love youI still love youI've been dead since you've goneI'll never be happy againThis flesh will fetid remainI decayI decayI pass from this placeTo one far betterWhere I hope when you find meYou will kiss meEmbrace meTouch my faceHold meAnd tell me you love meRedeem me

I know, I knowIt makes no sense butLove is foreverOnce I am thereI never leavePeople flit about itAs if love is a trampolineBut I never canOnce in my heartI never let them goMy love is trueWhatever they do

Saturday, January 14, 2012

There is a graveyard in Bethlehem PennsylvaniaThat holds the bodies of steel workersAnd their familiesSome never saw the world they lived inOthers worked until their bodies stopped workingSome never left the town they are buried inThe horizon choked in smokeWas small for them

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I am still deadStill decidingWhat I believeI don't regret my lifeI don't regret being aliveI don't worry for thingsThat didn't turn outTo beThe way they should haveShould have beenI could easily beThe one she lovedInsteadIt wasn't meNo it wasn'tSo this dead bodyRemains that wayFar too much of this painAt the coreBut I don't regret itI can't forget that it wasn't meShe choose anotherNot meAnd now I am back to deadLike beforeNothing newNothing more

I cut myself
But I don't bleed
I hung myself
But I could breathe
I shot myself
In the head
But the bullet killed
My family instead
No requiem
For me
For this dying man
I will not be released
From his attention span
I took some pills
But they dissolved
Like the efforts
I resolved
To take
Some day I'll see
What I've done
But until then
It has begun
To fade
No requiem
For a dying man
No salvation
For this crying land
I did my part
Now I am saying goodbye
This is the termination
Notice
This is my last stand

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Slamming the doorLike some loud final wordDrowning the soundOf goodbyeReticent tears pour outBut I am not cryingI did that beforeAnd you left then tooI never had a doubtThat you'd be goneSo I am just sayingno no nono no noDon't thinkDon't feelJust go with itJust go

We cannot see the mountain from atopWe can only see what is belowThe valley of our sorrowThe dust has taken overFrom the failuresOf our handWe walk and are coveredThe dust risesWe are smotheredBy the debrisOf our actsThe world we createdFalls before inevitable entropyAnd the world before our arrivalReturnsAnd the dustCovers every single footprintOf our debacleHiding our existenceAnd beginning anew

Great PrometheusHow kind to give us fireTo light our imaginations alightTo fuel our growing desiresTo control the flowOf energyTo light the night with brightnessTo move leviathans in the seasHow kind to give us firePrometheus was cursed for thisAs were weFor children should not controlThe fires of the GodsFor humans are not ableTo deny their bestial voiceUnable to hold back in angerWe are inheritorsOf the firesThat burned this earthThat cursed this earth

"Kinship and companionship are terrible things."

“God help thee, old man, thy thoughts have created a creature in thee; and he whose intense thinking thus makes him a Prometheus; a vulture feeds upon that heart for ever; that vulture the very creature he creates.” Herman Melville

Monday, January 9, 2012

Dissection DecayFecund miseryThe pain of existence often goes beyond my toleranceMy flesh is weary, it hurts sometimes just to breatheThe cage of this body, calls for my releaseAsylum is neededA sanitarium for the weakMy flesh is brokenCover my body with a sheet

Sunday, January 8, 2012

With youThere is hope anewMy heart stopped bleedingI won't ever stop needingYouWhen I sleep I'm not dreamingBecause all I think about is youSleep is filled with thoughtsOf holding you foreverI can't breathe without hopingTo draw in your scentI can't see you without thinkingYou are the one who heaven sentTogetherIn your presenceI still long for youIn your absenceMy heart beats but softerWith you I am redeemedI love youYou are my reasonYou are whyI want to be

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Shout my name
Push me
Back me against the wall
Line me up for execution
It is my end you seek
But I heard the call
And that prevents you
From stealing what I have
I believe unto my dying breath
I resist
There is nothing to kill
For my spirit is awake
And I live beyond the flesh
Blow out the candle
The flame still lives
Blow out the flame
The fire still burns
Inside
End my being
I will return
Kill my flesh
My body passes
The dream still lives
The curse broken
I am unafraid
End it
Do it now
For what you think is killing me
Will be my birth

Friday, January 6, 2012

I am waiting to see if there is nothingBecause my life suggests that this is wrongMad irony howls, Cynical fate laughsAt the smoke of my burned remainsChoking my last breathFrom drawing inIf I am alone there is no purposeI know this is insaneBut if there is nothingNo one cares, and there is only painSo why should I worry?If there is nothingAll I do is dust

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

She was beautifulBut dangerousHer looks would cutHer voice would biteShe was alluring and yetI feared herFor she offered meAll I wanted andAll that I mightHer eyes were stunningHer body perfectHer perfume made my ardor stirBut she was not my loverBut rather a temptressWho made me burnShe drank the blood of the fallenSupped upon the flesh of saintsAttacked the morals of all menDesired us all to turn

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

A supposed wise man saidMarriage, however good,is like a great bowl of soupThe best soup ever, evenBut do you want this, the same soup every single day?Love isn't like thatRather, You need to eatDo you want foodOr hunger painsLove feeds your heartLove is like thatMarriage is fulfillingIf it is about loveYou get to eatEvery dayAnd eat your fill

However fortunate her lover might beShould he realizeShe is waitingWhile he is away upon some missionOf charity or commerceHe does not seeThat she longs to be with himThat her love is for him aloneAnd she waitsIn miseryFor he is goneAnd she remainsNot knowing when he might returnAnd while he is frozen insideFor him she burns

Not that which is outsideFor that is flesh aloneNot inside, for that is entrailsFunction but not perfectionBut rather it is in her spiritFor there she is aliveWith the beauty of creationHer spirit is wovenBy the most precise handsHer beauty is knownIn every landAnd I am hersWithout reservationFor she moves meShe doesHer spirit alone

Monday, January 2, 2012

Warmth inside keeping me safeSoothing to my ear, the beat of her heartSoft and gentle, to my soulI am hers, entirelyWith her, I amWithout her, I am notThe future may be darkSorrow may force meTo feed at its cupBut within her armsI am content that all will be rightI am whole with herI am contentAnd that is enough

Welcome

I am a poet who has both been published and self published. All work on this blog is all copyright Alex Ness. While I make very little money from my work I am technically a professional. Measuring by the hours I've written I am professional. My goal is to share my work with as many people that can read it, as far as the internet may reach with it. I hope if you are moved you will share this blog with others, and perhaps buy my books.

Whatever the result, thank you for viewing this blog. I cannot express how greatly I appreciate the many people, from many places upon the earth, who have visited.