My Rule for Life

Thursday, September 30, 2010

I went to bed last night and, I woke up this morning. I didn’t want to go to bed because I couldn’t get my mind to stop thinking. I really hate nights like that. All though this may be a whine on my part I want my readers to consider it informative.

I remember today September 30, 2008 very well. You see, 2 years ago Gretchen was diagnosed with Cancer. She was seeing patients as she always seemed to be doing and I took the call. “Hi, this is Dr. so and so’s office. Is Gretchen there? No, Oh, is this Mr. Courtright? Yes, We have the results from Gretchen’s tests and Dr. so and so wants to see her today if possible.”

I ‘ve been married to a nurse for 30+ years. Wanting to see a patient “today” is not a good sign. I knew the call and the test results were not good. I had no idea how bad they would be. Gretchen came home about an hour later. I had no idea how to tell here other than how the Dr’s office said it. The Dr. wants to see you today, I said. About as subtle as a bull in a china shop. She didn’t really react that much. She went immediately into what we called “nurse mode” Something she did when me or the kids got hurt. No sympathy, just attack the problem at hand and deal with the emotions later. Her reply was “What time?”. I told her we have to call. She did and we left within 20 minutes.

At the Drs. Office we waited a short time and then went in to the sterile little room, with the charts and a picture on the wall to make it seems more comfortable and waited. Thank goodness, not very long but, to me at least it seemed an eternity. Dr. so and so came in and looked directly at Gretchen and said. The tests reveal a lesion 3.5 mm on your right lung. With the symptoms you have had it is consistent with cancer. Gretchen never moved, never gasped, never did anything for what seemed another eternity. She looked at me and I could see something I don’t think I ever saw in her face. Fear. Tears welled and she wiped them then, the dreaded “nurse mode”. Never a word to me, a look my way, just that damn “nurse mode”. She just looked at Dr. so and so, and said we must be aggressive. Dr. so and so outlined some procedures and then said I’ll give you a few minutes and left the room.

I know we talked with each other but what we said escapes me. I honestly have no idea what we said to each other. Not a clue. Dr. so and so re-entered the room and she and Gretchen went into Dr. and nurse mode. They started talking medicine and treatments. Then, Dr. so and so finally turned to me and ask if I had any questions. Oh my mind went into overdrive. QUESTIONS! QUESTIONS!, You just pronounced my wife with a death sentence and you ask me if I have QUESTIONS! I haven’t been part of this conversation for the past half hour and you want to know if I have QUESTIONS! You’re &^%**%$& right I have QUESTIONS!

I opened my mouth and calmly said, “No, Gretchen will explain it all to me. Thank you” What Gretchen would call “Cop mode” took over. Handle the situation and break down later. It seems to run in the family.

A long ride home and not much conversation. Not much to say, Just process what you’ve just heard and try to sort everything out. Finally, the kitchen. Our little neutral zone. Where we have always had our most serious and personal conversations. I made some coffee she got her Diet Coke. We just stood there in our respective places and looked at each other. She never was one to swear much and quite frankly I expected some expletive deleted to come. They didn’t of course. She just looked me in the straight forward face she got when seriousness was on the table and said two things.

“Well, this sucks! What could I say to that. I just looked at her and said, “yep, this really sucks.” She then looked at me and calmly said, “You know this will take a miracle from God, don’t you”? “Yes, I know” That pretty much summed up the worst day of my life.

And, yes, we did have a melt down later but not then. In our family there is a time and place for everything. Our kitchen was neither the time, nor the place.

Why do I write this today. It is the 2nd anniversary that’s why. Last night as I always do I prayed to God to take care of her. Begged for 5 minutes with her and then finally decided to write this post. The reason I am going to use it to tell people who read it. The pain does not go away on the inside even though it appears so on the outside. If you have a friend who has lost a loved one just because they smile and laugh and appear to be ok on the outside they may not be healed on the inside. This is not just my story but the story of several other people I know in the same situation. It is only though the good support of friends and family and those in our situation is how we manage to sometimes “just get though the day”

Remember that the next time you are with a friend who has lost a loved one.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Those of you who know me and follow Conservative Outrage know I usually wind up on the right side of Sean Hannity and the rest. Key word here is usually! I got home in time last night to catch Searn’s show on FOX. I was disappointed in Sean’s glowing response to the “Promise to America. Here is the reason why!

They just don’t get it! They just don’t get it!! The tried and true old style Republicans. What a bunch of hooey! Forty-five pages what can best be summed up at complacency, soft on issues, long rhetoric, and just plain lack of ……well…….guts!

There is no solid stance against abortion, gay marriage, border control, or gun rights. There is no solid stand for smaller government, less spending or long term tax reform. It is a gutless 45 pages of more of the same with just more lipstick on the pig. IMHO of course.

You don’t need forty-five pages to say Cut spending NOW! Repeal Obamacare NOW! secure the borders NOW! Do not fund ABORTION in any way shape, matter or form, EVER! Leave my guns alone, FOREVER, Govern by the Constitution, FOREVER! Listen to the people NOW!

Someone please sum that up for me. I know it didn’t take 45 pages of BS.

And…….if you think I am the only one go to Red State.com. Read that post and the 200+ comments. Red State.com

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Once again the thought police rears it’s ugly head. Now I don’t really care what evil you think, as long as you don’t act. If you want to trash my blog mentally, strangle me for Conservative posts mentally, or think pleasant thoughts about the lamebrains in Congress, have at it. HOWEVER, if you wish to act on your thoughts well, whoa, there big boy. My blog is sacred ground to me, my neck is definitely “my neck” and not meant to be strangled in in way, shape, matter or form. And well……good thoughts about Congress, go for it, maybe it will get there by osmosis.

As far as I know the reality is, no one person, can read another person's mind. If I am wrong, please cite me names, dates and places to document it. I will then post a retraction. You probably have guessed this “thought” garbage put out there as "intent" is BS in this ex-officers world. Think all you want, act on it and your were mine!

Now comes the academic (or should I say anemic) world and it seems one professor can actually read an entire body of student"s minds. All at one time, sort of simultaneously, all together at the same time as Yogi Berra might say!

(Daily Illini)- The vast majority of 9/11 observances in this country cannot be seen as politically neutral events. Implicit in their nature are the notions that lives lost at the World Trade Center are more valuable than lives lost in Afghanistan, Iraq, Palestine and elsewhere; that the motives of the 9/11 attackers had nothing to do with genuine grievances in the Islamic world regarding American imperialism; and that the U.S. has been justified in the subsequent killing of hundreds of thousands in so-called retaliation.
The vast majority of 9/11 observances in this country cannot be seen as politically neutral events. Implicit in their nature are the notions that lives lost at the World Trade Center are more valuable than lives lost in Afghanistan, Iraq, Palestine and elsewhere; that the motives of the 9/11 attackers had nothing to do with genuine grievances in the Islamic world regarding American imperialism; and that the U.S. has been justified in the subsequent killing of hundreds of thousands in so-called retaliation.
The observance at Saturday’s football game was no different. A moment of silence was followed by a military airplane flyover; in between, Block-I students chanted “USA, USA.” This was neither patriotism nor remembrance in any justifiable sense, but politicization, militarism, propaganda and bellicosity. The University is a public institution that encompasses the political views of all, not just the most (falsely) “patriotic.” Athletic planners should cease such exploitation for political purposes. They might at least consider how most Muslim students, American or otherwise, would respond to this nativist display; or better, Muslims and others that live their lives under the threat of our planes, drones and soldiers.
The overwhelmingly white, privileged, Block-I students should be ashamed of their obnoxious, fake-macho, chicken-hawk chant, while poverty-drafted members of their cohort fight and die in illegal and immoral wars for the control of oil. University administrators need to eliminate from all events such “patriotic” observances, which in this country cannot be separated from implicit justifications for state-sponsored killing.
David Green,
University Academic Professional
http://weaselzippers.us/

What does this have to do with the “thought police”? Mr. Green gives his apparently unbiased opinion. His opinion gives me cause for concern on two fronts. First, is this not America? Home of the Brave ,Land of Free, Freedom of speech, etc? We’ve had this discussion before regarding the famous “N” word. My original thought was Mr. Green if the Muslims don’t want to hear a chant USA! USA! USA! Go to a country that doesn’t chant it. If you are an American Muslim, you should be chanting too. You are a USA citizen are you not? Ergo, (I like that word, sounds so…so. Snotty) E. Pluribus Unum, from many ONE!!
Secondly, This person is teaching at a university and does have some control over young minds. If he is willing to publish an article like this in the college newspaper what in the world is he doing in a classroom! I don’t want a college professor teaching my grandchildren his personal political ideas. Educate on the subject you are assigned to teach and leave the politics to the politicians.

Perhaps we should have a “thought” police. Somebody needs to know what a moron, like Mr. Green is thinking!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Once again I hang my head in shame. Again, what was once the Great State of Ohio has lost is greatness and some of its people have gone completely insane. I refer to the recent embarrassing decision of the burg of Andover, Ohio's trustees to cancel a Tea Party rally on Constitution Day. DUH! You can read the complete article here.

My second, hang my head in shame is the Ohio State football team. After a thrilling start of the football season beating non-ranked football team Marshall, then 12th ranked Miami (Fl), they go on to defeat little Ohio University by a 43-7 score. I feel so bad for the young OU players who are like sheep going to slaughter.Why am I hanging my head on this. It's embarrassing that's why. Ever since Jim Tressel became coach scheduling small colleges for "turn ups" has become the norm. Having said that, I am no Jim Tressel fan, I deplore the contract of over 1 million American dollars he is paid. The university's average teachers salary is 50K. I deplore the fact he AND his wife receive free cars (can't he make a car payment on a 1M salary?). I deplore the "guaranteed bonus" he is paid for having a good season. What does bonus mean? How about do well and receive something. What does guarantee means? You're going to get it anyway. Does the Ohio State Board of Directors think the public is that DUMB! And lastly but not leastly, (my new word), I deplore the big deal that was made of Coach Tressel wearing a WWJD bracelet. I believe Jesus rode on a donkey and paid his own way. I guess I am not really a fan of college football where young kids are exploited for the gains of a college. Yes, I know some go on to a great pro career. Most never finish college and that's a fact!

Well, that's my personal shame, that and soon to be ex-Senator George Voinovich another RINO.

Speaking of RINOs. Wasn't Christine O'Donnell's victory over RINO Mike Castle something to be proud of! Now! We see what has taken over the Republican Party. With the likes of Florida Governor, Charlie Crist showing his true colors early this year in switching to become a liberal independent. Now , Lisa Murkowski, wants to play the role of sore loser and become a write-in candidate. Oh Please, and currently last but maybe not really last, the spoiled brat, Mike Castle refuses to make a conciliatory phone call to Ms. O'Donnell or support her candidacy. Can you say, SOUR GRAPES!

I will say this, if Michael Steele and other alleged leaders in the Republican Party don't get it by now they must be sleeping. It would behoove Mr. Steele and the rest of the "we think we know better" Republican hierarchy to get their act together. Start by explaining to the above listed cry baby, spoiled brats, they got beat fair and square. They got beat on their past records and what the voters thought they would vote for in the future. They need to open their eyes to the Tea Party movement or they need to turn in their ID cards 'cause they are history. The Tea Party people ain't gonna go way folks.

Tea Party Candidate Help Wanted Ad:

Man or woman
Black, White, Hispanic, Oriental, Christian, Jew or other
Qualities such as; honesty, values, integrity, high morals, willingness to read the complete bill before voted on, and supporter of the Constitution as it reads, not as some ACLU attorney tries to twist it, will be given extra credit. Good ol' comon horse sense is helpful also.

No baby killers
No Tax increasers
No gun restrictors, need apply.

No phone calls please, just get out and campaign and urge people to vote Conservative !!!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Living the dream, That’s my motto. Where else in the this Universe can an old fat guy have a good job, great children and grandchildren, good friends, a home, people who care about me, a church who feeds me in spirit and human food and a Harley to ride on good days. I look around at the men and women I “hang with” in the Midwest and on the net. I am so Blessed (a slightly over used word) but, blessed I am.

A brief rundown on the people I hang with.

A man who recently had cancer surgery
A women who needs a kidney transplant*
A women who is nearly 80 and works 40 hours a weeks because she needs the money.
A young women who has had a knee replacement and needs another one
A man who had a knee replacement and it didn’t take
A husband and wife who wake up every morning wondering if the cancer has returned and she will need a second mastectomy
A friend who is struggling with alcohol and has a dying father because of cancer
The wife of my cousin. He passed away on Valentine Day. She calls me and asks “how am I!”. OMG. I feel guilty that’s how I am. She is so very strong
A woman who has been full time employed for 30 years and was laid off and now struggles to make her house payment.

That’s just ten people I feel I know well. The point of this post, As my father would say, “I felt really sorry for myself because I had no shoes………until I saw a man who had no feet.”

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I don’t get it. Why is President Barrack Hussein Obama campaigning around the country on my (and your) tax dollars saying he is going to spend more of our tax dollars when we are nearly bankrupt! What I really don’t get and what really ticks me off is some, not all Conservatives and their media counterparts. That’s right some Conservatives are really ……..making me ……ah….upset! Why?

Only one reason, they are absolutely wrong about this President. Wrong, Wrong, Wrong!!! What they are wrong about is about this President not getting it. Excuse me! Newsflash! He Gets It! He knows exactly what he is doing. To make matters worse he wants to do what he is doing. He wants and is destroying this country. How can he not want it. You have a black father married to a white woman and your father leaves you. It ain’t likely mom is going to speak highly of him. Remember this was 40 years ago. A mixed marriage was ostracized in those days. It was treated as your cousin getting pregnant at 16 and going to Florida to visit her aunt for 6 or 7 months.

He was raised by his grandparents whom were probably like most Americans embarrassed by the marriage and spoke about the prejudice this marriage brought about. Your are a youth growing up with anger in your heart and searching for something in your life. In come a rebel with a cause in the makings of a college professor who seizes young minds and hearts like a lion seizes a gazelle. You now have a young Socialist, Communist, Progressive or whatever tag you want to hang on him. What you do have is an angry young man who dislikes his childhood and the people and the country he was raised in.

He wants to destroy it all. The end justifies the means! Destroy this country, and people whatever the cost. His mind is that of a Homicide Bomber. Yes, I will die but I will take the infidels with me. The only difference is he won’t die. He will be the King Louie and Machelle Antoinette. Living the life until the rebellion comes of like King Nero. Fiddle away while Rome burns, simply lost in the vision of his own mindless mind!

So don’t say he Doesn’t get it. Oh he gets it he just plain doesn’t care!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

My good friends and fellow bloggers regarding my August 29th post. I have been contacted via the comment section of this post by a fellow using the name Jake A In his words he is a proud liberal from Massachusetts. Sadly, he also states he is an atheist. He seems to be empty and hollow inside. Perhaps he is searching for something. My non-professional diagnoses. I am asking you to please include him in your prayers in hopes that he will find what he seems to be searching for. As Spitfire said in her comments about me, God my not be done with him yet,or perhaps he IS doing God's will. That is not for us to determine. I just ask you keep him in your prayers so he may find an inner peace in God that we have found.

The Pledge

Lutheran Pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Destruction of the embryo in the mother's womb is a violation of the right to live which God has bestowed upon this nascent life. To raise the question whether we are here concerned already with a human being or not is merely to confuse the issue. The simple fact is that God certainly intended to create a human being and that this nascent human being has been deliberately deprived of his life. And that is nothing but murder.

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About Me

I am a widower after 32 years of marriage to the most fantastic woman in the world. A father of 3 and grandfather of 10. I am a Christian Constitutional Conservative and proud of my families military service going back to the Civil War.