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Nancy, Psychotherapist

Category: Mental Health

Satisfied Customers: 746

Experience: ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years

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Is what happened to me somewhat common with those with mania

Customer Question

At around 50 I became severely depressed. While experimenting with different combinations of drugs for depression, I became manic. I would say it was probably a mild case. I do remember telling my Dr. on several occassions that I felt great and in fact I thought I felt better than anyone I knew just generally overall. However, I started taking off from work more and traveling alone back to see old friends. Also went on fishing trips out of town. The trouble started when my friend and I decided to travel to Austin for a late night concert. At our age 11 pm was a little late for us so we bought some cocaine. Before long we were buying regularly and visiting strip clubs. I eventually became paranoid and accused my wife and friend of an affair. I moved to a motel on 3 separate occasions. I broke my wife's heart when I told her what I had been doing. She hasn't been intimate with me since then which is 6 years and counting. I've ruined my marriage and lost a great friend. I just wonder if this is fairly common as to all of this happening to others who are manic?

Yes, this is very common with mania. Mania is marked by impulsive behavior and erratic mood. Most people swing between mania and deep depression. The cycling can happen quickly or over a period of a few weeks/months.

People who do not have Bipolar Disorder do not experience mania - so it's a litmus test, so to speak - and "proves" if someone is Bipolar.

Have you been diagnosed Bipolar and have you started on mood stabilizer medications?

Yes to your question. I was pretty heavily medicated while the mania occurred. I had no depressive episode during this period which lasted about a year I think. My family felt I was too medicated and I was slurring my words so I changed doctors at family request. During this period the mania left and the medication from new Dr. was not helping. It was about 4-5 years of trying different medications and different doses before depression went into remission. It was horrible for several years. I don't know why the mania went away but I miss it. Obviously my judgement was impaired because of the coke and/or depression medicine. I still take 3 different medications at night and 4 different medications in the AM. If depression is still present I am unaware of it though I am unmotivated, eating habits aren't good, no exercise, smoker and I have no interest in fixing any of that. I also retired and filed for long-term disability. I mostly now sit in my chair and watch r-rated movies hoping to see a naked woman. While on Ziprexa for years I gained a big gut. I did stop taking Zyprexa and Vivactil. That's good news. I can't get my wife to understand I wasn't myself while manic or I would not have done those things or abused coke. 31 years married and I'm afraid she is going to leave me because I've become somewhat bitter and resentful that she has shut me out to such a degree. I can not even be in the same room when she changes clothes or takes a shower. I am suffering from no intimacy of any kind. I don't understand how she has remained so rigid in her feelings for so long. We have made NO progress during this 6 yr. period. In fact it's worse and I'm unable to fix it as of yet. Sad!

Her answer to why she remains this way is she will not let herself be in a vunerable situation with me again. Some marriage huh?

I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

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