Sunday, 28 August 2011

The elven left flank continued to struggle with discipline problems...

The right flank pressed on, also moving under fire.

The elven shooting phase was dismal. The lack of battlefield experience was evident for this small patrol...

The dwarves, on the other hand, had a fantastic shooting phase, with all of their ranged assets scoring kills.

***

It was all Kimirye Kenin could do to hold onto the reigns. Rocky and Fido were especially feisty and unsettled. Buddy was harnessed on the outside left, but both Rocky and Fido had flanked Buster when the dwarves had shot him dead. Both horses kicked and whinnied, with Fido nearly taking Fern-Andoarlon Soh's head off when he scurried down to cut the dead horse from the chariot's harness.

"GO, GO, GO!" screamed Fern as he scrambled back onto the chariot. Two crossbow bolts thumped into the hand rail of the chariot where he had just been standing.

Kimirye needed no encouragement. With a mighty crack from his whip, he forced the horses into a canter, shaking his head as he did so. What would he tell Lord Vass Saleen?

The crew heard the whizzing of missiles as they cut through the air around them. Although the cold fingers of fear clutched at them, they were collectively thrilled to be in combat, testing their wit against the foe. Abject terror balanced pure exhilaration as they readied themselves for the charge. Kimirye cracked his whip a second time. Why weren't they moving?

It was then that Filli Paymassah shouted out. Dismay carried in his voice as the crew followed his pointed finger and saw that Buster had been dragged along behind them and was now stuck between a rock and a stubborn bush.

"What did you cut it loose with? A butterknife?" Kimirye shouted at Fern. A bolt sailed between their angry faces.

Kimirye pulled the chariot to a halt again.

Thock, thock, thock! Three bolts slammed into the chariot. Bolt shafts protruded everywhere - DeLorien would be spending a long time at the body shop at this rate. We have got to get moving, he thought.

He watched in frustration as Fern struggled with the thick leather. He hacked and hacked and it one point, it looked like he was flogging the dead horse, but to no avail.

"Let. Go. You. Bastard!" Fern grunted through clenched teeth.

Suddenly, inspiration dawned on Kimirye. He felt the adrenaline pulse through his veins, and it seemed as if he was moving faster than time. If the horses were pulling, perhaps they could help tear the leather straps that Fern was working at. He cracked the whip at the horses and actually opened a cut in Fido's rump. The horses strained with the chariot and he felt the carriage creak underneath him.

Of course, the huge advantage with adrenaline is that it really allows one to process events faster. Eyesight is clearer, hearing is crisp - for a short period in time, one really is super-elven.

The downside of that is one gets just enough time to determine the consequences of an action before it takes place.

As Kimirye struck the horses again, his eyes focused on a single bolt, which, to him, looked as if was lazily drifting through the air. Even as the slap of the whip formed a sound in his ears, he watched the bolt nick the leather strap about six inches from Fern's hand. In fascination, he watched the leather separate, the two ends almost waving good-bye to each other as they flapped in their new found freedom. His eyes widened as he realised that the horses were now pulling with all of their might - might bred into them through a breeding program a thousand years old, so that each horse had the strength of two. As the chariot started to lurch forwards, his gaze rolled over his hands and the hands of the others in the chariot. He wasn't holding the reigns. Filli wasn't holding the reigns. Jennon Butson, the fourth crew member, wasn't holding the reigns.

His body began to tumble. Hoping against hope, Kimirye looked back at Fern. No. He wasn't holding the reigns either.

"Oh shit," he grunted.

***

The sound of the leather snapping was like a gunshot. The Arrowheads watched as all three elves appeared to somersault out of the back of the chariot, as the enraged and maddened horses lunged for the Steelaxes. For a short time, the wheels of the chariot actually left the ground. None of the dwarves were that sure about horses to begin with, but the noise that the crazed animals made now was truly frightening - unlike anything any normal animal should make.

Beeffan Unyun nudged one of his colleagues. "Glad I'm not them," he said, nodding in the direction of the Steelaxes.

***

Borri gazed dispassionately over the rim of the shield-wall to see who had fired the gun. "Oh, shit," he grunted.

***

Simply put, the chariot was annihilated. Unlike later editions of Warhammer, however, Chariots do not have wounds or a Toughness rating - they have a special damage chart instead. Dreamfish scored the highest damage on the chart, which reads as follows:

16+ A massive jolt throws the crew overboard. The over-exerted draft animals are now beyond control and run amok. The crew must make their basic saving throw. Survivors may be formed into a single unit.

Dear reader, let me tell you - not one of the four crew made their saving throw.

There is some good news, however. When a chariot runs amok, it must charge the nearest unit within reach, otherwise it will move about randomly. Fortunately, the nearest unit in this case happens to be the Steelaxes, so at least the chariot will still be contributing in some bizarre, twisted way.

The elves, having taken a pounding, get serious and continue to advance in the reserves phase.

Spar was able to get close to the dwarven lines, where hopefully his fear effect will start making a difference for the elves...

This was the first magic phase where Ellendee would be able to contribute. Magic in Warhammer 3rd edition is dramatically different to the various attempts in the later editions. The key differences are as follows:

The magic phase is the last phase of the turn

Each wizard can only do one spell in the magic phase

Wizards make use of magic points when casting spells

If a wizard has less than 12 MP's, they need to pass an Intelligence test in order to cast a spell

Ellendee Generis, being a level 10 wizard, starts out with 10 magic points. Although the spectre (Spar Gettyand Sors) is paid for from the army points allowance, an ethereal host must also be bound with magic points. We'll discuss that in later turns when it becomes relevant, but in this case, Ellendee used 5 magic points to bind Spar, so she only had 5 left.

Ellendee decided to use a magic point to launch a fireball at the gyrocopter. All she needed to do was pass an Intelligence test. I was pleased when I looked it up, because I saw that she had an Intelligence of 10. I can roll less than 10 on two dice, right? Right?

***

Ellendee looked up at the gyrocopter. She watched as her idiot brother had fired his bow at it, predictably with no useful outcome. Silly boy. With the down force the rotors were generating, what chance did he stand? No, the solution to the gyrocopter was not in the natural, but in the unnatural. The supernatural.

Just how would she do it? She new that dwarves had extremely firm resolve, so there was no use in trying to terrify the pilot away. She wasn't confident that she could summon enough wind to blow the infernal thing off course. No - it would have to be direct. A fireball it was, then.

How did that go, again?

She recited the words in her mind. They seemed simple, but a small doubt struck her. She remembered that she had to do something that she normally wouldn't do. She had to invert something, or something like that. There was an inversion in the spell - did she have to re-invert the inversion? Was that the thing? All spellcasters knew that two inversions made a subversion. Or was it a diversion? Maybe it wasn't a double inversion, but rather, reversion. That kind of made sense. If she inverted a reversion, wouldn't that be a re-reversion? Which was a conversion. No - there were no conversions in a fireball spell. She started again. You invert an inversion in order to create a conversion, which led to the reversion of the fireball subversion, thus creating an eversion. Which was exothermic. Which created a fireball. That's it!

Ellendee pronounced the wytching words with conviction, pointing her hand at the gyrocopter. Louder and louder she chanted, until she felt the power surge through her. She closed her eyes, reveling in the magical bliss. She felt the magical force writhe down her outstretched arm and the final, satisfying jolt of a fireball launching itself from her hand.

She opened her eyes expecting to see the gyrocopter bloom in a fiery haze. Her brow furrowed as she realised there was no fireball soaring towards it. Instead, about fifteen or so feet away, a large, fluffy marshmallow bounced on the grass and came rolling to a halt.

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

I've now come to realise how much work it is to do battle reports. It's not the writing - it's the making sure which images are where and making sure that you've not misplaced orders and things. I've had to pause halfway through turn 3 just to get my stuff in order...

This was the state of play at the end of turn 1. Nothing exciting happened...

Warhammer 3rd Edition made use of trailing forces. Modern versions of Warhammer introduce reinforcements onto the table via a dice roll that gets progressively easier as the turns pass. This was different in Warhammer 3rd Edition - one could make use of trailing forces. Again, this is an excellent example of the subtle tactical nuances available in the game - a trailing force's arrival depends on its leadership - a successful leadership roll means the troops are available.

In this case, Ellendee Generes and Spar Gettyand Sors, being highly disciplined individuals who know when they're needed, arrived at the beginning of the turn.

These were the orders for the movement phase:

Having just referred to the value of high leadership, I proceeded to prove the point by having both units of archers fail their reform manouevres. The rest of the army kept it simple and just moved onwards. The dwarves also pressed forwards, apart from the Arrowheads, who were preparing to fire.

***

Danak Royd signaled to Loreal Elvive, the musician, that it was time to reform. He wanted the unit in single rank. Loreal nodded, and trumpeted the instruction, clear notes reverberating off the nearby hill. Immediately, the unit stopped, still marching on the spot, whilst they started forming a single file.

"No, no, NO!" Danak yelled as he watched in horror. "Single RANK, not single FILE! What the hell do you think you're doing!"

Loreal rounded on him. "What? What now? You signaled single file, so I played single file!""I signaled rank. Rank, man, rank. How hard can it be? There are only two options - rank or file!"

"When you put your hand so, that's file. This is rank!"

"Listen to me, you-" Someone was tapping on Danak's shoulder. He turned to see the unit looking at him.

"Sorry to interrupt, sir, but what should we do? Did you want rank, or file?"

"Just hang on. Stay where you are. I need to get Loreal's head out of his arse so he can direct the unit properly!""Now just you-" Loreal started.

The whole unit jumped in fright when a rock the size of a sheep slammed into Loreal's head, crushing his whole body inwards and downwards to the floor before shattering. Elves dived in every direction to avoid the razor sharp stones flung from the impact.

There was immediate silence, which bled into dull moaning and the sound of one of the elves fainting.

Danak wiped the dust from his eyes. He looked at the newly fainted elf and heard himself say, "he's dead."

Another elf knelt down next to Radocs, the fallen elf. "Yes, he's dead. Looks like his heart stopped."

Danak raised an eyebrow. "He died of fright? You're saying he got such a shock that he dropped dead? We probably didn't need a ninny of such epic..." He sighed. "It doesn't matter. Look, is anyone else injured or dead? Can we get on with this now?"

They took one last look at Loreal's crushed body.

"You'll never get his head out of his arse now..." someone muttered.

***

The elves took first blood in the shooting phase, killing one of the elite longbeards in the Firehammers. The dwarf response was swift, bloody, and four times the magnitude.

***

Torin wrestled with the controls of the gyrocopter as it kicked and shuddered. Experience and force of will combined to bring line him up for a run on the chariot. How basic it looked, that ancient machine, with it's horses and standing crew. Torin's flight cap exposed a grim smile as he thought how his modern warmachine - the future of warfare - would lay waste to the archaic warmachines of the foolish elves. He pushed the stick foward, causing the machine to enter a slow dive. Here, his vast experience showed: other pilots closed their eyes when they pulled the trigger - the steam was too much for them - but Torin wanted to watch the elves squeal. It was for this reason that he caught the glint of silver so suddenly and impossibly close to him. His brow furrowed as he leaned forward to get a better view-

THWING!

-the tip of the arrow glanced off the rim of his goggles, shooting straight up into the rotor where it disintegrated. In that moment, his entire body clenched, including his trigger finger, and he felt the steam cannon erupt beneath him.

"Balls, bullets and buggering badgers!" he yelled, his eyes wide with shock.

His senses returned and he swore violently and viciously as he realised that he had cooked half the hill with his cannon, and none of the elves. He looked around. Just left of the chariot was a lone elf on one knee, shaking his head.

Gaymar proved to be an excellent shot, landing a hit on the Gyrocopter pilot. Unfortunately, his ammunition proved to be less excellent, as he failed to wound the stout dwarf.

The Arrowheads also managed to kill one of the chariot's horses, costing the chariot 1" on its future movements.

The reserves phase was again very straight forward, with the elves pressing the attack, both eager to engage and desperate to get within the minimum range of that stone thrower.

Amongst the reserves, Ellendee drifted up the road and positioned herself in order to launch a fireball at the gyrocopter. Unlike later editions of Warhammer, the magic phase is the last phase of the turn in 3rd edition, so I was able to use her reserve move to bring her closer to the action.

This is a good example of the trust required for a remote game: I had to ask Dreamfish to help with the estimation of range here, because I just couldn't do that without being there. In Warhammer 3rd edition, one still needs to declare actions before measuring (unlike 8th edition), so a feel for ranges is important.

Based on his trusted advice, I decided not to waste the fireball, as we agreed that it didn't feel close enough.

Saturday, 20 August 2011

Dreamfish and I have completed a whole turn. It remains, then, for me to describe the final elements of the game setup and rules, before I describe what went on.

Scenery Rules:

The steep sides of the stepped hill can’t be climbed on.

Can fly over hill on level +10 and rocks and woods on level +20.

The rocks and the barreled defense count as hard cover and the fences are soft cover.

The woods except for the road within the woods and the rocks are difficult terrain.

Extra victory points can be gained by occupying the hill and zones.

The terrain is divided in four equally sized square zones.

Controlling the Dwarven encampment counts as a baggage trophy.

Needless to say, having Gaymar’s head on a stick serves as the Dwarven trophy (slain general).

Following the scenario, the Wood Elves have basically blundered into a valley to face the dwarves. We agreed that they should deploy in their order of march, whereas the dwarves were more ready for the approach. The Elves would have the first turn.

Also, Ellendee and Spar Gettyand Sors (the wizard and the spectre) would only deploy in the following Wood Elf turn, as they had been delayed by the binding.

So, this is how the table looked after deployment:

***

“Stop the chariot,” Gaymer said. He clambered down and waited for his patrol to form up. He had noted with dismay the number of dwarves as he had come down into the valley. There were hundreds of them. Well, forty, give or take. He squinted in concentration – had the report said fourteen or forty?

Daddy would be furious.

Anyway, the only way out was through, now. He faced his men, hands on his hips.

“Today, we stand on the great of brinkness!” he stated.

Elves looked at each other in confusion.

“Er…that is, the stand of greatness!”

Danak raised an eyebrow. One of the chariot crew leaned down and whispered something to Gaymer.

“The brink of greatness!” Gaymer yelled in triumph. He glared at those assembled. “Today, we are on the very brink of greatness! For too long now, those Dwarves hav-“

Gaymer’s soliloquy was cut short by distant pops, followed by an almighty bang and a long and pronounced hiss.

Gayestin stepped forward. “Your Lordship – I think that is one of those unusual war machines the dwarves seem so fond of making. I presume they must have spotted the chariot coming into the valley.” He pointed at a panting wardancer. “Gimpmaersk here has just popped back from the forest border there and says they are lining up for an engagement. I suspect our moment of greatness has already begun.”

“Right!” Gaymar drew his sword and jogged to the front of the column. The chariot crew stepped aside to make space for their leader.

Unlike later editions of Warhammer, there are no march moves in Warhammer 3. Instead, there are 2 movement phases - the typical one we all know and love, and a second Reserves phase towards the end of the turn.

Also, reforming, wheeling and other manoeuvring* require discipline, training and leadership tests. In this case, the Steelaxes needed to pass two leadership tests in order to complete three simple manoeuvres. This is one of the places where, although it looks like it makes WFB3 more complicated, it is actually simple to process and adds extra depth to the game - rewarding highly disciplined and expensive troops more than in later editions.

***

“As you can see, “Morgrim gestured towards the pass, “there are around thirty or so elves coming our way. Intelligence tells us they are armed and determined, so I don’t think this is a diplomatic visit. I’m going to form up here with the Firehammers. I want the Ironaxes there, the Arrowheads there and the Steelaxes there. You all got that?”

“Torin. You’ll be …airborne.” Morgrim seemed to struggle to say the word. “That means you’ll be able to see aver that hill. So far, they’ve not done anything to conceal their approach, but they will surely take cover there. I want you to relay instructions to Earthquaker and get them flushed out of there as soon as possible. Okay?”

Dreamfish's intention was to hit the DeLorien with a rock. Although the chariot is hidden behind the hill, we allowed the stonethrower crew to take direction from the gyrocopter. Of course, many players will only have seen indirect fire as a 'new' feature of Warhammer 8, but it was already there in the 80's.

***

Steeplechase looked up as the gyrocopter belched its way over them. It’s bizarre collection of clanks, pops, bangs and hissing combined into a raucous cacophony which left speaking impossible.

“He’s a complete nutter!” he yelled to Pipsqueak, who had just finished winding Earthquaker.

Pipsqueak frowned at him and shrugged. “No,” he mouthed. “I don’t have any butter.” Why the hell would he want butter now?

“No – nutter!” Steeplechase tried again.

Pipsqueak stood up. At 4'6", he was one of the largest dwarves in the clan. A lifetime of working stone throwers had created powerful muscles and a short temper. “Calling me a nutter? You just-“

Dumpling elbowed Pipsqueak and pointed up at the gyrocopter. “He’s signalling,” he yelled.

The crew squinted up at Torin, trying to make sense of the signals.

“Hang on…hang…on, I got this one,” Steeplechase frowned. “Okay, it’s a play. First word. First syllable. Sounds …like… fir?” He looked at the other two.

The trio looked up at the gyrocopter pilot. His angry gesticulations caused the gyrocopter to sway uncertainly.

"Doesn't look to happy about that one," Pipsqueak mumbled.

***

Torin shows off his ride to the Arrowheads:

Orders for the Reserves phase:

So the reserves phase is the 2nd stage of movement. Not everyone can move - much the same as later editions where not everyone can march.

Morgrim leads the defence:

The situation at the end of turn 1:

The game turn actually went quite quickly - it only took about 24 hours to process the whole thing by email. It took longer to get the thing posted because of crazy rainfall and flooding and roads being shut screwing up my schedules. On to turn 2!

*Manoeuvre, Manoeuver, Manuever - you pick the one you like the most and substitute it wherever you see the English (well, French) one.

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

We're underway! Dreamfish and I have started turn 1 for the Battle of the Wyemm Seeyay. The turn is almost completed, so updates on that coming shortly.

One of the things that I have been asked about, though, is how exactly one goes about playing Warhammer by email.

Let me tell you:

1. One of the players requires two beautifully painted armies, a beautiful table on which to play, and safe place to leave that table unmolested for many days or weeks. This is very important - if you have cats, children or epileptic fits, you'll want a safe place to keep the table. In our case, Dreamfish is the host of the game.

2. That same player will require a digital camera. You knew that already. In our case, Dreamfish also has an IP Camera. This means that we can have a live feed to look at whenever it suits. Dreamfish takes many shots of the field as well, so we can see the state of play as it progresses.

3. The other player - that is, the remote one, requires some sort of image modification software, in order to describe what he wants to do. One could use Windows Paint, Gimp, Photoshop or one of the many hundreds of tools that can do that. In our case, I'd recommend Snagit. You have to pay for it, but it's one of the most useful pieces of software I've ever owned, and it stands head and shoulders above anything else I could recommend for the job. If masochism is your thing, you could try without it, just using text to describe what you want to do, but a small fee avoids all of that nasty business...

4. Army Builder. This way, the players can have the same source for army lists. This is key for the remote player, who might have to play an army they don't themselves own, or know much about. This also adds a layer of trust, as the lists can be produced and revealed at the same time, and saved away. Army Builder also validates the lists, so both players will know when the lists are ok. It is worth mentioning that my esteemed opponent in this, Dreamfish, is the author of the Warhammer 3 Army Builder files, and produced a template that hides magic items. So - we're able to see each other's lists (as published earlier) but still don't know about each other's sneaky magic items...

5. Both players need access to a dice rolling mechanism. We've discovered the Hamete Dice Server, which allows us to create a dice 'blog', tracking every single dice roll we make. You can choose what sort of dice you want to roll and describe what the roll is.

5. Trust. Especially for the remote player. Do you play tournaments regularly? You might struggle with this one. Players need to understand that the other player did not wake up that morning with the express intention of screwing up your entire life by placing your figures incorrectly. This means that you need to describe what you want to do...and describe your intention as well. So, if you're trying to hide a character in a forest - make that clear to the other player! Don't just say 'move 5 inches north'.

As we play, I guess we'll come across some other tips for the thing, which we'll cheerfully post up here.

EDIT:

6. One of the things we've found much easier to do is to run each sub phase for both players before moving into the next sub phase. Traditionally in Warhammer, player 1 moves, shoots, fights, reserves and does magic, then the next player does the same. In our case, we're finding it much easier (and economical with time spent sending mail backwards and forwards) to handle my movement phase, then Dreamfish's movement phase, followed by my shooting, then his shooting, etc. Much easier for playing remotely...

Saturday, 13 August 2011

As mentioned earlier, things are being kept small because of the remote nature of the game for me. Fortunately, we've managed to keep almost everything old school, apart from the current release Wood Elf wizard. Here, we asserted that painted is still better than old...*

Wood Elves
- Gaymar the Foccer's House Patrol

Squad

#

M

WS

BS

S

T

W

I

A

Ld

Int

Cl

WP

Sv

MP

Gaymar the Foccer (Wood Elf Hero)

1

5

6

5

4

4

2

7

3

9+1

9

9

8

6+

-

Gen; 10H; LA; HW; LBow;

Squad

#

M

WS

BS

S

T

W

I

A

Ld

Int

Cl

WP

Sv

MP

Ellendee Generes (Wood Elf Wizard)

1

5

5

4

4

3

2

7

1

9+1

10+2

10+1

10+2

-

10

HW; 10W;

Squad

#

M

WS

BS

S

T

W

I

A

Ld

Int

Cl

WP

Sv

MP

The DeLorien (Wain Lords)

1

8

4

D3

Warhorse

4

8

3

-

4

3

1

3

1

3

3

3

3

-

-

Wood Elf Crew

4

5

4

4

3

3

1

6

1

8

9

9

8

6+

-

LA; HW;

Squad

#

M

WS

BS

S

T

W

I

A

Ld

Int

Cl

WP

Sv

MP

Vass Saleen's Own Household Guard (Archers)

9

5

4

4

3

3

1

6

1

8

9

9

8

-

-

mus; Std; HW; LBow;

Danak Royd (Wood Elf Champion)

1

5

4

4

3

3

1

6

1

8

9

9

8

-

-

HW; LBow;

Squad

#

M

WS

BS

S

T

W

I

A

Ld

Int

Cl

WP

Sv

MP

Chippin Dale Regiment of Foote (Archers)

9

5

4

4

3

3

1

6

1

8

9

9

8

-

-

HW; LBow;

Jorj Miy Kael (Wood Elf Champion)

1

5

4

4

3

3

1

6

1

8

9

9

8

-

-

HW; LBow;

Squad

#

M

WS

BS

S

T

W

I

A

Ld

Int

Cl

WP

Sv

MP

Wyemm Seeyay House Troubadours (Wardancers)

8

5

4

4

3

3

1

6

1/2

8

9

9

8

-

-

HW; XHW;

Gayestin Theland (Wood Elf Champion)

1

5

4

4

3

3

1

6

1/2

8

9

9

8

-

-

HW; XHW;

Squad

#

M

WS

BS

S

T

W

I

A

Ld

Int

Cl

WP

Sv

MP

Ethereal Host

1

Spar Gettiyand Sors (Spectre)

1

8

4

-

-

4

4

4

4

5

5

5

5

-

-

Spectral Steed; HW;

Dwarfs
- Ironbeard's Conquerors

Morgrim's Retinue

#

M

WS

BS

S

T

W

I

A

Ld

Int

Cl

WP

Sv

MP

Firehammers (Longbeards)

9

3

5

3

3/4

4

1

3/2

1

9

7

9

9

5+

-

Std; HA; HW; 2HW;

Morgrim Ironbeard (Dwarf Champion)

1

3

6

4

4/5

5

2

3/2

3

10+1

7

9

9

3+

-

Gen; 10H; HA; HW; 2HW; Gren;

Ironaxes (Dwarf Warriors)

10

3

4

3

3

4

1

2

1

9

7

9

9

5+

-

Std; Sh; LA; HW;

Borri's Retinue

#

M

WS

BS

S

T

W

I

A

Ld

Int

Cl

WP

Sv

MP

Steelaxes (Dwarf Clansmen)

9

3

5

3

3

4

1

2

1

9

7

9

9

5+

-

Std; Sh; LA; HW;

Borri Forkbeard (Dwarf Champion)

1

3

5

4

4

4

1

3

2

9

7

9

9

3+

-

5H; Sh; HA; HW; Gren;

Arrowheads (Dwarf Crossbowmen)

10

3

4

3

3

4

1

2

1

9

7

9

9

5+

-

Sh; LA; HW; XBow;

War Machines

#

M

WS

BS

S

T

W

I

A

Ld

Int

Cl

WP

Sv

MP

Gyrocopter Wings

1

-

6

8

3

Bombs; Steam Cannon;

Torin Thunderstruck (Dwarf Pilot)

1

3

5

4

4

4

1

3

2

9

7

9

9

5+

-

5H; HA; HW;

War Engine Battery

1

Arek Ironfirst (Dwarf Bombardier)

1

3

5

4

4

4

1

3

2

9

7

9

9

4+

-

5H; Sh; HA; HW; Gren;

Earthquaker (3-Man Stone Thrower)

1

-

5

-

-

Dwarf Crew

3

3

4

3

3

4

1

2

1

9

7

9

9

6+

-

LA; HW;

Note that that magic items (if any) have not been listed.

*And, of course, this blog is all about Warhammer 3rd edition - the rules. We love the old miniatures, but not having old figures should not stop one playing 3rd edition. If anything, some of the new figures such as the new monsters from Storm of Magic should be very, very suitable for Warhammer 3...

Monday, 1 August 2011

Yes, you read that right: Battle Report. Okay, the battle hasn't happened yet, so this is the run up to the event. In true homage to the cheerful scenario's produced by GW in the eighties, we had a go at writing the intro to the battle:

(Prologue) It's fun to slay at the Wyemm Seeyay

“Daddy, can I borrow the chariot?”

Lord Vass Saleen regarded his son cooly. “No.”

“Daddeee,” moaned the young prince, “pleeeeease? How’m I gonna ever be a proper prince if I don’t have battles and stuff?”

Vass sighed. He loved his son and deeply wanted him to grow up to be a powerful, wise elven prince that would do his name and his household the honour it deserved. It was so very unfortunate, then, that the young Prince Gaymar the Foccer was such a blithering idiot. So far, Vass had managed to keep the fool out of any serious engagements, but other members of the court would start asking questions soon. Why should they commit their firstborn to battle whilst he hid his progeny deep in his hold?

Gaymar sensed his father softening. “Please?”

“What’ve you got in mind?”

“Yippee! Woohoo! Daddy, you’re the best!”

Vass winced as he watched his son hopping about and clapping. Bloody fool. “Hang on, son - just hang on. I haven’t said yes yet. What is it that you want to do? What do you want the chariot for?”

“Oh, nothing much. There’s a few dwarves setting up some sort of outpost on western border of Wyemm Seeyay. I want to nip that in the bud.”

“Are they inside the border? Have they broken our laws?”

“No,” Gaymar said. “Not yet. But you know dwarves, Daddy. They’re probably inside the border even now. Chopping stuff down and making stuff and singing their vulgar songs. We need to act now!”

Vass raised an eyebrow as Gaymar prattled on with his ever more excitable diatribe. Any minute now he would start shaking his fist. That was usually when Vass interrupted.

“Gaymar. Son. Calm down, dear - it’s just a dwarf outpost.”

Gaymar watched his father’s placating hands. “And they wear beards. Beards, Daddy, beards! Will their abominable practices never cease? They must be cut down before our children are tainted - what if our future generations all grow up wanting beards? Knowing they can never have them? How will they feel, Daddy?”

Vass blinked at his son. It was the beard thing again. He was sure his son was suffering from some sort of beard envy. He’d be the laughing stock of the aristocracy if news ever got out his son wanted a beard. Maybe if he ran a few dwarves through this fascination would wane…

“Okay, boy, maybe we should keep an eye on these beard-wearing dwarves.” He raised his eyebrow as Gaymer nodded eagerly at him. “How many dwarves are there?”

“Just a few, Daddy.”

“How many?”

“Um…ten? I think?”

“How. Many. Bloody. Dwarves. Are. There. Gaymar?”

“Fourteen. Definitely fourteen.”

“You’re sure about that? Fourteen? You only have to count on three hands in order to account for all the dwarves?”

Gaymer squinted at his father in concentration. “Yes,” he declared finally. “Definitely three hands only.”

“Okay. Here’s what you do. Take Danak Royd and some of the household guard. Also, get Jorj Miy Kael and his men from Chippin Dale - ”

“Daaad - “

“Don’t interrupt - I’m not done yet. When you get to Wyemm Seeyay, I want you to get the House Troubadours there - chap’s name is Gayestin Theland. He’s got some experience with dwarves already.

“Daaaaaaad - “

“Shut up. And I want you to take your cousin Ellendee with you as well.”

Gaymer was dumbstruck, his mouth forming a perfect ‘o’. Great. Now he had to take his dumb cousin with as well. Ellendee Generis had no sense of humour and took everything far too seriously.

“Daddy,” he said, shaking his head, “it’s no place for a girl - Ellendee’s beauty is only just beginning to flower, how could I possibly take responsibility for her in a war situation? You know I - “

“You’re not taking responsibility for her, she’s taking responsibility for you!” Vass erupted before he could stop himself. “Just take her along!”

“Fine!” Gaymar stomped off, but stopped at the door. “And the chariot? Can I take Astinn Marr Ten?”

Vass shook his head. “No - take DeLorien.”

Gaymar snorted and stormed out.

Why me? Vass pleaded silently with the gods. Why me?

***

“I can’t believe you brought a chariot,” Ellendee complained.

“Well if you don’t like it, you can get out and walk, you know,” Gaymer replied, looking ahead.

“That’s not what I meant. How are you planning to sneak up on their position with a great rattling chariot like this?”

“I wasn’t planning to sneak up on them. We’re just going to thunder through and annihilate them.”

Gaymer glanced over his shoulder, taking in the sight of his loyal patrol jogging along. Even the wardancers were looking tired. “Er…” was all he could volunteer.

“What you’ve described isn’t a plan. Do you know anything about dwarves, or how they fight?”

Gaymer looked down and mumbled something under his breath.

“What was that?” Ellendee demanded. “Nothing, you said? Stop this chariot, let the patrol rest and let’s form a plan before you get us all killed!”

“I’m in charge, you know,” said Gaymer, carefully avoiding her stern gaze.

Suddenly, Ellendee grabbed his right ear (and as we all know, elves have prodigious ears) and twisted it right around until the chariot ground to a halt and Gaymer was on his knees whimpering.

“There we go,” she said sweetly. The chariot crew stared into the distance, focussing on anything that wasn’t Gaymar.

By the time Jorj and the Chippin Dale Regiment of Foote caught up, Ellendee had Gaymar in a headlock and was furiously rubbing her knuckles into his head, whilst he wailed and called for his father. Jorj noticed the remaining chariot crew had taken an all consuming interesting in a an old abandoned gravestone by the side of the road.

“Silence in the ranks!” Gaymer wailed through quivering lips. “Lady Ellen Degeneris and myself were just … discussing the plan.”

Danak Royd and the Household guard had just arrived now and formed up respectfully.

“Lady Ellendee was just about to describe…” Gaymer trailed off. Ellendee was not about to describe anything. She, too, had taken grave interest in the headstone.

“What are you doing?” He asked in a strained voice.

“This is the gravestone of Spar Gettyand Sors,” she declared.

“So?”

“So? You’ve never heard of - oh wait. Of course you haven’t. He was a great hero of our people and was instrumental in freeing the Wyemm Seeyay area from the Dwarves hundreds of years ago.”

“We’re wasting time. So what - he’s dead now!”

“I can … sense him. He’s here, I think.”

“Ellendee - ”

“Wait - he wants to make contact, I’m sure of it!”

“Right men - form up. Lady Ellendee has lost her mind, and we need to leave her here, so that she can try and find it."

He walked up to Ellendee, who was mumbling and gesturing, inviting Spar to make his presence known.

“Ellendee, dear. Um, me and the big boys are going to go ahead and have a quick fight - you know, see to business and all that. Why don’t you stay here and chase the butterflies a bit, okay? We’ll be back before dark to come and get you. Don't eat any mushrooms, okay?”

Ellendee gave no obvious signs that she’d heard him, so Gaymer swiftly turned and mounted the chariot. “Follow me, men - tovictory.”

“Er…what about Lady Ellendee? We can’t just leave her, can we?” Jorj asked.

“Spectre. Can’t leave the gravestone, see?” Spar pointed at the gravestone and shrugged.

“Oh,” Ellendee said, her anger subsiding. “I can help with that…”

***

Morgrim looked up from his lunch. “How many d’you say there were?”

“Sir! About thirty, give or take. Sir!” The young dwarf’s hand seesawed.

“Straight down the pass?”

“Yes sir, straight down the pass. No scouts that we can see, sir!”

Morgim scratched his chin. “So they’re just walking into the valley?”

“Sir, yes sir!”

“With a chariot?”

“Sir, yes sir!”

“Enough with the ‘sirs’, okay? You’re driving me insane.”

“S - yes, er...chief?”

Morgrim raised a hairy eyebrow. “Look - thanks for the report. Now sod off and find me Arek.”

The young dwarf stuttered, did a half salute and ran off. Arek ambled up shortly afterwards.

“Beanbag sez you’ve got an elf problem?” he muttered.

“Looks like it, mate.”

“Wadder ya need?”

“They’re just rolling down the pass, by the sounds of things. Got a chariot. Seems we should just point Earthquaker straight down there and give ‘em hell when they arrive.”

“Yer…okay. I’ll sort it,” drawled Arek as he wandered off. “I’ll get the lads set up with some crossbows, mebbe?”

Morgrim nodded. “Ta mate. That’s the stuff.”

Good dwarf, that Arek, Morgrim thought. Be a good commander, if he didn’t mess about with all that black powder and stuff…

Dreamfish and I are still finalising the army lists. Once we've got those, I'll post those up, together with pictures of the armies. Due to summer breaks and what not, we're only planning the game for the end of August or thereabouts. The game is a 1000 point battle between the Wood Elves and the Dwarves. The reason for the size is that (as some astute readers no doubt have noticed) when I introduced Dreamfish, I mentioned that he lived over in the Netherlands. This remains true, so we'll actually be playing over the internet. Dreamfish will host the game and is supplying the table and the miniatures, together with an IP camera that will give me a view of the field. So we thought we'd start small and see how this went. I will issue instructions in real time or via email. Not quite sure about dice rolls just yet, but we could use the Hamete dice server, which allows us to have a dice blog, or mails out the results of dice, which is ideal for this sort of thing.

Once we have the lists, I'll post up the scenario rules and house rules we've implemented. The intention is to stay as true to Warhammer 3 as is practical, but we've added some stuff from White Dwarves published in the era, and we've carried over at least one really sensible rule from later editions.