Popcorn for the soul – Preparing for a brave new 2014 – Part 1

There is a new year coming up. And, as always, this is an excellent reminder to take stock of the previous year; and more importantly, to create a fertile ground for change in the new.

Far too often people wait until the last moment, and on the New Year’s eve decide what New Year’s resolution to make. Now, that is just plain silly 🙂 ! You wouldn’t approach a professional decision that way, so why would you ever approach deciding how to live and create your life with so little thought!

Read our forthcoming weekly notes with care, as we will help you set the wheels in motion, and help you create an even more magnificent 2014.

This weekly note starts with a number of questions that will help you prepare the ground for planning for the next year.

Give yourself enough time

One interesting thing is how we oftentimes do not allow ourselves quite enough time to make something happen. Wouldn’t you agree? We plan for the next year, and instead of planning realistically we plan as if we were children – writing wish lists for Santa Claus, and we write a list of ALL the things we want to happen in the future and imagine what it would be like to have them all during the next year, then we pretend that our wish list is a plan.

If you belong to the category of people who tend to cram too much into too short a timeframe, just notice what happens if you give yourself five or ten years to accomplish your outcomes. Did it just get easier? Did your plans become more realistic just by making this single adjustment?

Set your goals wisely

Some people write the same goal year after year… Hoping that somehow this year it will be different. And sometimes this happens, but usually it pays off to do more than just hope for it. If you know in your heart of hearts that you have been hoping, planning, wishing for the same result every year, for several years, and it hasn’t materialized … well, this is either because something stops you, or because you lack some resource with which to get it done.

If you recognize this in yourself, may we suggest that you simply take some time for deep self reflection and ask yourself, not the usual questions you have asked yourself previously, but three or four really simple questions:
– Is what you want possible, and is it something which is within your control to make it happen?
– Do you really want it, or do you just tell yourself that you want it?
– How can you deal with what has stopped you from having it?
– How can you get what you need in order to make it happen?

If, after spending some time reflecting, you decide that you know how to fix your problem – decide to fix it. If this outcome is impossible or outside your control, then maybe you should just scrap it from next year’s plan, so that it doesn’t become an energy drain.

Choose your environment

Sometimes what stops us from getting where we want to be in life is other people. Sure – at the end of the day you are the sole and only creator of both your feelings and your reactions, but unless you are very advanced, being with different people will still have different effects on you.

Some people are negativists who think crushing dreams is a good thing, some people are energy vampires and will drain you of all life force, some people are masters at making others feel worthless.

Fortunately there are also those people who make you feel more alive, there are also people who make you feel that – even though you may not be perfect – you are a very worthwhile human being. There are people who make you feel that your dreams are possible, and they will even support you.

Spend some time sorting everyone you spend time with into three piles. The first pile is for people who make you feel good about yourself, people who support your dreams, people who help you to be, become and achieve what you want.

The second pile is for people who are neutral.

The third pile is for people who you, to frankly put it, would benefit from spending less time with. Doing this does not mean that you have to avoid the people in pile three at all costs. It also doesn’t mean that you cannot help a friend in need, even if that temporarily weighs you down. It just means that you now are taking stock, and are aware of the positive and negative consequences of hanging with different people.

Just ask yourself what the long term consequences will be if you decide to spend more time with the people who benefit you and help you make good decisions.

Live a life that is yours

A very important question is: Whose life are you living? Are you living a life which is the fulfillment of what you as a whole being want and yearn for – or are you busy trying to fulfill others’ expectations? Spend some time reflecting about both your parents and what expectations they have and have had about you that you have lived up to, and not lived up to. Spend some time reflecting about your significant other and your closest friends: what expectations do they have of you, are you living up to those expectations or are you not living up to them?

If you find yourself spending too much time trapped inside the expectations of others, ask yourself what you want. It is the most important question!

Like we said: stay tuned to this NLP channel! We will return with more helpful hints for your New Year’s plan.

Thomas Björge – ITA NLP (International Trainers Academy of NLP) Accredited New Code and Classic Code NLP Trainer and Master Coach and Designer of New Code Game ‘Arrows’, to be featured in Dr. John Grinder’s upcoming book

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Lidija Markovic is a world leading expert in the area of the human psychology and NLP. I’ve had the pleasure of working with her. The one thing I noticed that stood out the most with her was the level of integrity and balance she lives her life with. She truly understands how cross contextual life is. That her psychology, physiology and relationships affect one another. She has committed to live at the highest level in all areas of her life. It’s brilliant to see.