Family Narrowly Escapes “Hostile” Cat

Solidifying my belief that cats are inherently evil, an Oregon man and his family were trapped by a massive, 22-pound “hostile” cat Sunday night.

As per usual, Animal Control was of absolutely no help in this harrowing situation. That’s when the victim, Lee Palmer, made the 911 call that probably saved his life.

As you’ll hear in the terrifying recording, the “very large Himalayan” trapped a family – including a baby and a dog (which proved less than helpful) – in a bedroom.

In Palmer’s words, said cat has a “history of violence – he’s kind of a violent cat, already.” Palmer admitted to kicking the feline after it became aggressive with and issued multiple puncture wounds to the aforementioned baby. And that’s when the cat began to charge.

“Tell them to be careful… the police,” said Palmer, clearly a family hero and concerned patriot.

No word yet, but we assume the cat was apprehended and taken into custody to be held for further questioning.