They say comparison is the thief of joy, and this is particularly applicable to food. As someone who’s coming from a background of anorexia, I admit I still struggle with comparing my food intake to other people’s. Difference is, now that I am recovered, I don’t let my perception of their portion sizes influence my own as I would have in the past. However, I know plenty of people who have no experience with eating disorders, but are still wary of what they eat and experience negative emotions whenever they perceive their choice of food to be in some way inferior: they will stick to salads when eating out, refrain from going for seconds at buffets and avoid ordering desert if the people they’re with don’t do the same.

I don’t blame anyone for this, as a pressure to eat in a certain way (ie a 1200 calorie, no carbs, some spinach for breakfast sort of diet which is actually counterproductive and doesn’t deliver the weight loss it promises) is very prevalent in our society. Hence, it’s easy to feel guilty when others seem to be eating ‘healthier’, or less, than you are. YouTube is riddled with that I eat in a day videos. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy watching and making them as I’m quite curious and always on the lookout for recipe ideas, but certain ones just call for comparison (e.g. The videos conveniently named ‘what I eat in a day as a model/actress/any sort of role which insinuates success’). Some of these do a great job at reassuring me that I’m not the only girl out there with a hefty appetite, but others, even if we logically know the person is starving themselves and their behaviour is unhealthy, can make anyone feel ‘insatiable’.

Now, a post like this has to be prefaced by an emphasis on the fact that it outlines my experience and intends no disrespect towards make-up/those who wear it/particular brands. I still love reading beauty blogs and have by no means gone makeup free: in the pictures featured on this post I am wearing mascara and lipstick, and have a foundation routine for special occasions. Highlighter is still the perfect trick for whenever my face appears a bit two-dimensional. Yet, my current look is a significant change from the start of 2017. My everyday routine used to take an hour or more (as opposed to 0-15 minutes nowadays), included everything from contouring and Instagram eyebrows to layering three different lipsticks. So, why did I make this change and go from carrying out every YouTube tutorial on my face each morning to something a little bit (a lot) more lowkey?Continue reading “Why I Stopped Wearing (heavy) Makeup.”

Hi everyone! I am back, with my first ever recipe post. I’ve been wanting to write one for a while, and I thought: why not sprinkle some cultural heritage into my debut, and veganise a childhood favourite? When I was making these, I realised just how similar they are to your average hash browns, but throughout my 18 years on this planet I’ve been calling them draniki so let’s stick with that nickname for the purposes of this post! This is a super popular dinner/ special occasion food in Russia and in the Ukraine and is usually made with eggs and a whole load of non-vegan ingredients, but as I mentioned in an Instagram post a few days ago, making plant based versions of such recipes brings me immense joy. These are delicious, light and versatile – have them with ketchup, salsa, baked beans. So, stay tuned for the recipe and if you end up trying it, be sure to let me know and leave your feedback (but don’t be too mean, I can be brought to tears much easier than I like to admit).

A truly ‘ideal’ lifestyle – the definition of which is subjective – is, I would argue, impossible to achieve. In some instances, mere time constraints may get in the way: you miss workouts because of upcoming exams, choose convenient food while travelling, sleep less than your body needs because of work. Sometimes, it’s mental health. And speaking of sleep, that’s exactly what I want to address today. I’ve had a love-hate relationship with sleep for quite some time, and a desire to de-stigmatise mental health while promoting the ‘physical’ aspects of a healthy lifestyle is one of my objectives on social media. As of recent, my ability to manage sleeping issues has improved considerably hence I decided to take my internalised debates to the blog, muse about insomnia (with sleep anxiety being a central point of discussion) and hopefully help others unlucky enough to experience these issues.

The fact that insomnia affects up to one in three people in the UK scares me, given the indispensability of sleep in maintaining your physical and mental health. Until around March or April 2017, I took pride in being able to fall asleep within minutes: sure, sometimes I stayed awake out of choice to complete a pressing homework assignment or returned home later than usual after a gym session, but once I was in bed with my eyes closed, I’d be asleep in under fifteen minutes. I woke up no later than seven even on weekends and had a concrete sleeping schedule. But when a month remained until my exams and a mere couple of weeks before study leave, my cortisol (why can I never remember how to spell this word?!) levels skyrocketed and each night, I found it harder and harder to fall asleep. Then, one night it took me five hours to fall asleep. The struggle started with racing thoughts about the upcoming exams, their importance, the revision I could be doing instead of laying in bed, and when I spotted midnight on the clock, I imagined my alarm going off six hours later. I imagined the effects of sleep deprivation: grogginess, inability to focus, inability to comprehend information about quantum mechanics. After that, everything changed. Continue reading “Let’s Talk Mental Health: Sleep Anxiety and Insomnia.”

Hi. I am back, ready to try and be helpful and informative once again (hopefully with some success). When you’re new to eating and living healthily, your first steps may be to consult Mr. Google. Before you know it, you’re completely overwhelmed by ‘tips’ similar to ‘go to the gym six times a week’, ‘start running five miles a day’, ‘start a 1200 calorie green smoothie diet’. My post ain’t about that (especially not the last example – my breakfast in itself is 1200 calories and I am proud). These are ten things everyone can incorporate into their daily routines to either kickstart a healthy lifestyle or substantiate an already Instagram worthy, vegan, HIIT-on-a-daily-basis existence. Aka, healthy living simplified. And made less intimidating . Without further rambling, I hope you find these little tips useful – and don’t feel like you have to do all of them all the time. I certainly don’t #somuchforpracticingwhatIpreach. Also a quick disclaimer: I am not a dietician, or a personal trainer, these are just things I’ve come across myself and in many instances, implemented, so do take what I say with a pinch of salt!

1. Wake up earlier

I don’t mean set your alarm for six am when your body clock is screaming 9.30, but marginal changes. Fifteen minutes is a start. Then thirty, then forty five, and before you know it, you’re making a YouTube video titled ‘my 3 a.m. morning routine’. Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration, but I feel like people don’t recognise the benefits of earlier mornings until they test it for themselves. The first few tries may be painful, but I promise – adjustment is possible. I don’t know the exact science, but there’s something quite satisfying about waking up with the sun, and of course, extra time is acquired for productivity: going for a run, finally sticking to your ‘get into yoga’ New Year’s resolution, even starting a business. I’m all about ending the stigma surrounding early risers, as I’ve experienced the benefits myself!

2. Follow the right social media accounts

Okay, tapping the follow button on Instagram won’t give you your dream body or turn you into a Triathlon athlete, but it can give you that little extra subconscious push. I spend 10-15 minutes a day browsing recipe accounts on Instagram, reading fitness blogs and watching people with physiques I can only dream about lift 3x their bodyweight, and it certainly makes a difference to my motivation levels. Significantly, when you’re just getting into healthy eating and working out without knowing where to begin, Instagram is the best place to stock up on recipes and workout videos: yuminthetum, bestofvegan and gymgirlvids are some of my faves. And of course, nothing beats whatismaria (okay, that was a total shameless self promo but I love the idea of people being inspired by my account).

Hi guys! I hope you’re having a great whatever time of day it happens to be in your time zone. Before we get started, I’d just like to announce that I’ve recently started a new Instagram account – @whatismaria – so if you haven’t already, please give me a follow and I will follow you back!

Anyway, I wanted to talk briefly about fitness goals. I believe setting obectives of all sorts – physical, mental, academic – is central to a fullfilling existence, and a fullfilling existence is what most of us pursue. I do, anyway. Health and fitness are hugely important to me. Working out aids my mental clarity, releases endorphins, temporarily restrains overthinking patterns of self doubt. Building a healthy lifestyle has helped me overcome many obstacles, such as my eating disorder, and after taking a couple of weeks ‘off’ prioritising fitness due to travelling, I decided to once again pursue improvement in this department.

Hi everyone! I hope you’re all having a great week / weekend / whenever you’re reading this. The other day, whilst thinking about the topic of immigration, I realised it’s been nine years since I moved to England. I was nine when I moved, so I’ve spent roughly half my life outside Mother Russia. This seemed like a perfect opportunity to reflect on what the ‘journey’ (dear Lord I do hate that metaphor but my brain is too tired to think of something groundbreaking and original) has been like for me, what I’ve learnt, and the multiple sides of skipping across borders. Of course, it’s difficult to narrow nine years to the constraints of a blog post and, being white and reasonably middle class, my experience differs from that of a refugee, an oligarch, a factory worker etc. However, immigration has been and always will be a hugely relevant topic so I thought it would be interesting to highlight the ‘reality’ of my own experience.

(You can check out my old post on immigration from a political and economic perspective here, although my views have definitely changed since then!)