This blog is all about my first book.

December 23, 2006

Confrontation - Handling Criticism

Click the play button to listen to this lesson.

I felt uncomfortable as I sat in the lawyer's waiting room. I didn't like the idea of being there but I didn't know what else to do. The company I had worked for had gone bankrupt and my health insurance had gotten cancelled right before our second son was born. He had been born at 27 weeks, three months premature, and the doctor had warned us that the hospital bills would be over $300,000.

So there I was, unhappily sitting in the waiting room of a lawyer who specialized in bankruptcies. I was hoping he would help me force the insurance company to pay the hospital bill, a bill I had no hope of paying any other way...or so I thought.

But as I sat there God reminded me of the story of Jehoshaphat. In 2 Chronicles 20 we read that Jehoshaphat was the king of Judah when a great army came against them. As they sought God for help in defeating this huge army, God told them that He would give them the victory and that they were not to worry because they wouldn't even have to fight.

As Jehoshaphat and his army went out to battle the next morning they put the singers in front of the soldiers. The Bible says that as the singers began to sing, God caused the invading army to start fighting amongst themselves.

By the time Jehoshaphat and his army arrived, the entire invading army was dead. God had fulfilled his promise that they would be the victors and in a battle that they would not even have to fight!

As they began going through the enemy camp they found an incredible amount of treasure. They spent the next three days gathering up all the treasure and taking it back to Judah. God had not only removed the threat, but He had turned a problem into a blessing!

So here I was in the lawyer's office remembering God's great promise...As I talked with the lawyer that morning he told me to save up $400 so that I could file for bankruptcy as soon as my son got released from the hospital. But thinking about Jehoshaphat gave me the courage to ignore his advice. I decided to keep looking for a lawyer who would help me.

When we start going after our dreams we will find that there is an endless supply of people who will tell us what we can't do, why it can't be done, and what we should be doing instead. Most of the advice we get will be well-intentioned but less than helpful.

When David announced that he was going to kill Goliath the first problem he ran into was his older brother who reminded him that he was just a lowly shepherd and that it was his pride that had brought him the battle that day. Later when David talked to the king, he was reminded that he was just a kid and that he had no hope of defeating Goliath.

It was clear that David's brother was just angry and probably a little embarrassed. After all he had been listening to Goliath's challenge for forty days and had never volunteered to fight him. How embarrassing it must have been for him to think that his little brother could defeat the giant.

When we face confrontation and criticism, like David did, it's easy to get discouraged. We forget that many times people want to convince us that we can't reach our dreams because they have spent a lifetime convincing themselves that their own dreams are out of reach.

Has the fear of rejection been keeping you from pursuing your dreams? Are you worried about what other people may think of you?

As common as this fear may be, most of us never realize that people aren't really rejecting us at all. Sales trainer Jeffrey Gitomer says, "People will try to rain on your parade because they have no parade of their own."

If the people you spend all your time with are always "raining on your parade," then it may be time to start hanging out with a different crowd. Mark Twain once said, "Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great."

If you simply cannot get away from those critics, allow the criticisms you receive help you. Ask yourself if there is something of value that you can learn from what the other person is saying. Resist the temptation to feel hurt and instead look at their comments as advice and learn from them.

When the king told David that he was just a kid and that Goliath had been a warrior ever since he was young, David realized that he would need to find some other way to defeat Goliath. Rather than being discouraged, he gained some valuable information and it ended up helping him win the fight.

Like David, when we learn from what others say to us, we gain valuable advice and reach our goals even sooner.

By the way . . . I did find a lawyer who was willing to help me get our son's hospital bills paid. The insurance company settled out of court, all of the bills got paid, we didn't have to pay a penny (not even a deductible) and the lawyer earned $70,000. I wonder what the bankruptcy lawyer would think if he knew that if he'd only been willing to fight the battle for us, instead of taking the easy way out, he could have earned a lot more than $400.