In reality none of it means anything. Those numbers are just a measure for marking the passage of time.

But I try to control time. I try to set schedules. I try to hold on to some semblance of order. If I am master of the clock, then I am master of my life. It is not true but I try to believe it nonetheless.

Things must happen at a certain time. We must get up, we must eat breakfast. Mommy must shower. We leave the house. We return. We eat lunch. We nap. We wake. We play. We make dinner, we eat dinner. We play. We bathe. We sleep.

This is the routine that makes up our lives for better or for worse. This routine is dictated by the clock. Or at least I would like it to be. Other members of my family have other ideas.

They (she) pushes sleep until the last possible second, until eyelids cannot remain open any longer. They (she) wakes with the sun no matter what time the eyelids were shut.

I fight the good fight every day but I cannot control time. I cannot control her interpretation of time, her interpretation of when it is appropriate to sleep and to wake.

But I can control one thing. We do not under any circumstances go downstairs before 7:00 AM. Regardless of when she wakes, 6, 6:15 or 6:30, I gather her up all warm from sleep. I bring her to my bed. We snuggle. I try to ignore her requests to play. I try to teach her to read the digital clock. I try to control time for just one fleeting moment.

3 comments:

What a great post that I'm sure so many of your readers will appreciate. I wish I could get my daughter to agree to be agreeable snuggling in my bed when she wakes, but I simply can't. The only way she's happy in our bed is if she's surrounded by toys, or at least playing with one of her toys with our eyes focused on her so she can make sure we're watching her have fun. So I've given up; she and I hit the family room to play waaaaay too early most mornings!

And what will you remember most fondly when she's all grown up? The mornings that she woke up early and snuggled in bed with you.

My oldest will stay up until midnight if we let him - but I have to kick him out of bed in the morning. In a lot of ways it's like having a teenager. But he doesn't sleep until noon on the weekends. The twins make up for his morning laziness by waking up at the crack of dawns - like Bunny, regardless of the time they went to bed.