Monday, May 19, 2014

One of my young Korean cousins wrote me an email the other day. In it, he expressed his condolences regarding the loss of my mother. I guess word doesn't spread too quickly on this side of the family; Mom's been dead since January of 2010.

Communicating with my Korean relatives during Mom's illness was difficult. Constant international calling would have cost a lot, and most of my older relatives didn't use email. I ended up having to type out and print a four-page snail-mail letter to one of Mom's cousins (she has four, who live in and around Seoul); the letter described the gravity of Mom's situation and noted there was no cure for glioblastoma multiforme. The heavy implication was that, if they wanted to say their goodbyes, it'd be nice if they could come to the States. There was no response to this long letter, which had also mentioned that the relatives could follow Mom's condition on my blog—written in English, true, but my own cousins should have known enough English to get at least the gist of what I'd been writing.

I got a call from one of Mom's cousins about three weeks after she had passed away. He wanted to know how things were going. I mentioned Mom's jangyae-shik (memorial), and he shouted, "WHAT?!"—indicating, to my frustration, that he hadn't followed the blog at all, and didn't even know that mom had died. Had he not read my snail-mail letter, either? Did he not realize that "no cure" really means no cure? People live in denial, especially when it comes to terminal illness. They paper over the truth; they sugar-coat the harsh reality. They refuse to deal. Perhaps my mother's cousin just didn't want to follow the implications of what I'd written. After all, it's only brain cancer, right? We can beat that!

So that's what communicating with my Korean relatives has been like. Now there's this email, four years too late. I don't feel too motivated to reply to it.

FOLLOWERS OF THE HAIRY PATH

INFERNAL SHRIEKING

Yeeeeeeesssss... we're now on Gab.ai, Precious, that the shrieking may continue....
There's no feed gadget to place on my blog yet, but click this link to go to my actual Gab.ai feed.
We hates the little Twitterses!

_________________________

WHAT CORN AND PEANUTS ARE HIDDEN IN THE WARM AND STEAMING PILE?Vapid cultural commentary, pungent reviews, sundry Korea-related musings, fartological/scatological humor, and nondualistic Zen excretions in prose or poetry form.

Got a beef? Write the Hominid at bighominid [at] gmail [dot] com, and put "HAIRY CHASMS" in the subject line, or your mail will be automatically trashed by Satan, my beautiful but deadly spam filter. Assume your mail will be published (editing at my discretion), unless you specify otherwise. Welcome to my backside.

BLOGROLLING POLICY: I don't do mutual linkage, and I have no problem with asymmetrical linkage: I link to bloggers who don't link back, and that's fine by me. Please DO NOT ask to be linked. Please DO NOT expect linkage just because you've linked to me. Also, if I don't link to you, please do not assume I think your blog sucks.

COMMENTS POLICY: Only I am allowed to be rude, though I generally try not to be. My blog is my house; I'm responsible for keeping my dwelling clean. Commenters are guests, and guests of this blog will be civil, succinct, and relevant. All comments are subject to approval; I reserve the right to publish or not publish—in a pristine or altered form—all comments (and emails intended as comments) that I receive. Act like an asshole on my turf, and I'll make you look like the asshole you are. Be cool, and we won't have a problem. Simple, yes? And before I forget:

NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS. Take responsibility for what you say. Screen names are OK, but no sock puppetry. Use the same SN consistently.