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How do I manage my toddler while I'm pregnant?

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I have a 21-month-old, and I'm 39 weeks pregnant. I'm having a hard time coping with my rebellious daughter, my husband's long work hours, the housework, my pregnancy, and my inability to sleep more than four hours a night. I'm worried that I'm going to take my frustrations out on my daughter who seems unmanageable right now. My husband offers to help but not on a regular basis. Please help.

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Sorry so long but it's worth it!:
One of my favorite bedtime rewards is the sleepy time fairy. I tell my kids that the sleepy time fairy comes by 10 minutes after bed time to make sure you're asleep. If you are she leaves a suprise under your pillow. Suprises can be one of those individually wrapped lifesavers, or if you are against candy there could be a sticker under their pillow. It really works! especially if you go into detail about what she looks like and make it real. On especially difficult nights (whether I'm tired or they are over tired) I will bring in a small mirror that fits in my hand and reflect the hall light onto the wall and say uh oh I think she's running a little bit early you better hurry and go to sleep!
My older kids still have fun trying to go to sleep before the fairy gets here. (Ten and 9 year old)
Another important thing is to have a routine. Ours is Speedy clean up, Bathroom, brush teeth, get a drink, and two stories(0PTIONAL). If they have everything done before 7:30 they get two stories.
Good luck!
Oh one more thing. When I had a two year old with my 2nd pregnancy, I put one of those child proof door knob covers on the door, made sure the bedroom was absolutely child proof. Turned on Winnie the Pooh (it's easier to sleep through) cuddled up with my son and zonked out. He'd usually last through two movies. (of course I'd have to get up and change them)
Now days they have those door alarms that you stick to your door and when they open it, it goes off. It could wake the dead! I'd still use a child proof doorknob cover as well. Never hurts to be too cautious.

i am in the same boat. i find that my daughter more than anything is just curious about everything. keep her busy by coloring, or allowing her to help with some of the house work. keep her involver to the point where she not being in the way but still there.

Talk to your hubby, if you let him know all the things that happen in your day, he may help more when hes there. I have a 21 month old and a 4 month old. They are definatly a handful! Dont let yourself get so stressed though. If you feel like you are going to blow up at your toddler, remember that it wont hurt to put her down in her crib and walk away. Shes old enough to play on her own some, so set her in her crib or play pen with some of her favorites and go read a magazine article. It really helps. My hubby works all day and sometimes gets frustrated when dinners not ready yet. When he starts in, I stop him and tell him as though I were reading and itenerary what happend to us that day. This usually snaps him out of the me stage and he will help out. Hes gotten really good at just coming in and seeing my face, then taking the kiddos so I can go take a bubble bath. He knows I will only be crabby with him too if he doesnt. ( I don;t mean to be its just that everything comes out that way!

Hello I am 21 weeks pregnant and I have a 2 year old who is very energetic and independent, he has never been the type that always wanted to be held. But it seems that ever sense I became pregnant he will not stay off of me. He is constantly trying to lay on top of me, he nuzzles his head in my breast and in my stomach and just seems to be extremely attached out of no where. He was breastfed but I don't think that has anything to do with it because it just started when I became pregnant. I have been trying to give him extra attention but the baby has not even got here yet for him to feel left out. This is really uncomfortable for me and somewhat annoying. Is this normal, can he maybe sense that I am pregnant, does it mean I am having a girl?? Is anyone else experiencing this?? HELP PLEASE...

My first two are 22 months apart and now that my "baby" is almost three, I am 12 wks with #3. The stress is overwhelming sometimes! Before and after birth. I have found that a break outside is great with everyone's nerves. The kids get to scream and run without being told no and I don't hear the footsteps stompting :) Now that the weather is cooler it seems to make things more pleasant. Staying home for us is a huge sacrifice for "me" time and for financial reasons, but the reward is so worth it! I recently joined a book club - telling the other members I usually only read Seuss and may not finish any of the books, but it has been good to get together with other women to just hang out and vent. Friends are not always easy to find, but companionship can be found. Keep pressing on, they are all little blessings.

I am 31 weeks pregnant and have a 13 month old little boy. I know how everyone feels. My husband's work hours only allow him to be home on the weekends, so that puts me at home all of the time raising our son, and doing all of the housework. Whenever I need a break, I will go over to my parents house. That gives me a break in so many possible ways. No cooking, no cleaning, plus someone else can chase after my son. Whenever I need to feel that I am not alone, I go to this website, and read everyone else's dilemmas. Just remember, if you feel you are losing control, and are fixing to take your frustrations out on your toddler, just put her in her crib with a couple of toys, and go fix yourself a cup o hot tea to relax. It always helps.

I am 33 months pregnant and have a 24 month old. I also have three dogs, a cat, and a husband who wouldn't know a pile of dirt if it walked up and smacked him in the face. Not only would I not eat off my floors, in some rooms, you can't SEE my floors.
I'm normally very, very neat. I've learned that right now, it's just not going to be that way. I tried to be "SuperMom" after my first was born, and ended up having my immune system shut down. I was sick for 6 weeks with sores in my mouth that wouldn't allow me to speak or eat (and I was nursing) without great pain and I was delerious because of lack of sleep. Let's just say I've learned my lesson.
No matter what - GET SLEEP. Even if you have to shut your beautiful child in their room while they scream bloody murder (where, by the way, they'll be perfectly safe and have plenty of toys to play with) make sure you get enough naps to get at least 7 - 8 hours of sleep a day. You can barracade any child in their room if they're not old enough to climb out the window. Find those door nob things that prevent toddlers from being able to turn the nobs. Or, if you have to, put a sliding bolt on the OUTSIDE of the door, where you can lock little one in, but he can't lock you out. If little one is not used to this sort of thing, expect a lot of screaming for the first few days, maybe even a week. Let them scream. Ignore it. They'll learn that it's not going to make a difference (and every mother knows a mad scream from a hurt scream. DONT GIVE INTO THE MAD SCREAM) After a week or so, they'll learn to play, and you can catch up on a little sleep. You do NO ONE any good if you're exhausted, and you may do something you'll later regret (you have absolutely no judgement when you're exhausted)
You can try and get your hubby to help more, but don't expect miracles. Until something catastrophic happens (like me getting so ill) some guys just don't seem to get it. If you don't have relatives around, ask a friend to help. Don't be proud, none of us can do it all at this point.
Don't worry about little one holding it against you. After you're better rested, you'll give them much more affection during non nap times that you ever could being exhausted. In the long run, it will be sooooo much better for both of you!
And remember, your house will only be temporarily wrecked. As long as all dangerous, pointy or poisonous things are out of reach, a little (ok, a lot) of dirt won't kill your toddler, or your husband. And hubby can wash his own socks/underwear for a while. In 12 month or less, this will all be a distant memory, and everything will be normal again.
Take heart, and Good Luck!

I more than understand your situation. I have a 31 month old, a 10 month old and I am now 6 months pregnant. I work full time and I go to school part time. My life is so chaotic and I feel like I get no sleep. There have been times when I have yelled at my older daughter, because she would want so much attention she would start throwing things or hitting her sister. But I've learned to just go down to her level and ask her what's wrong. I let her help me out with the baby and housework and now she loves taking care of her little sister and she learned to pick up after herself, which has been a big help. Once my husband gets off from work, I give hime an hour to himself and then I tell him to help me give the kids a bath or keep an eye on the kids while I clean. My husband does all the laundry. You just have to be patient and know that things will get easier. If you have to get a housekeeper once or twice a week. Or have a family member or babysitter come over to watch the baby while you rest. I have no family around but I do have a babysitter that i'll ask to babysit every once in a while so that i can rest or me and husband can go out. One important thing is to talk to your husband about everything. He may not know what your going through. My husband didn't and since i've talked to him things have been better. Hang in there!

I am a mommy of an 8 yr. old as well as an almost 3 yr. old, both boys, with a baby girl due in 6 weeks. My 8 yr. old is extremely helpful and has doted on his brother since birth, and is equally excited about having a sister. But I am scared to death of the prospect of a newborn and my oh-so-active and stubborn toddler. I find myself barely able to cope with him now, as I just don't have my usual energy level, as well as the limited mobility of my expanded girth. My house is as kid-friendly as possible, but he does not take no for an answer when he gets into the things that can't be stored away(such as the computer or putting DVDs into the VCR) A lot of times I feel extremely worthless and helpless as a mom b/c I can't discipline my own child, like picking him up to put him in time out. If he doesn't want to sit in time out, I have no way of putting him there. If he doesn't want to get into bed, I can't physically make him get in it. Fortunately, he still takes a really good afternoon nap(about 3 hours) so I should be able to rest some in the daytime; bedtime is not usually an issue either. If he is flat out not tired, he generally plays quietly in his room and then turns the light out and climbs into bed on his own when he gets tired. He is also extremely well mannered and polite, very affectionate, and rarely has temper tantrums. When his being good, he is very, very good, but on his off days, whoa, baby! I know he is exerting his independence and that things will get better, but if I survive the rest of this pregnancy AND maternity leave with my sanity intact, it will be a miracle!

To MommyandToddler -
Have you tried emphasizing that this will be *her* baby - her very own baby sister or brother? My little one is too small to understand what's going on (she points to my tummy and says "baby sister" but has no idea what she's saying) but my sister had a jealous 3 1/2 year old with her last pregnancy, and she handled it by changing the focus from the new baby to her 3 1/2 year old child. Tell her what a great big sister she's going to be. Tell her about all the help to Mommy she'll be. Tell her how much fun she'll have. Tell her that the baby has to stay in Mommy's tummy for a little while, but soon she'll be here, so big sister can help pick out where baby's toys/clothes/etc will go once she's here. Right now it sounds like she's fearing being replced. If the focus shifts from "the new baby" to her and all the possiblilities for her involvement, she should slowly begin to like the idea.
Also, make sure she's not scared of something bad happening to you. The whole tummy idea may scare the heck out of her. Let her know that this is a happy, safe, healthy thing, and that Mommy is not going anywhere - she and Mommy are going to have this baby together!

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