Friday, February 20, 2009

Really, any excuse to show pictures of my dog in her puppy stage is a good one. Seriously, how can you NOT love that face?

A couple times in my youth (read: my college days, which ended 3 years ago), I tried those things that everyone refers to as “Just Say No!” I think it is everyone’s inalienable right to do so. To say you have and you didn’t like it (or did). To know that experience, and to be able to relate to others who have had it. To know what it feels like to eat an entire bag of ranch-flavored Doritos in fifteen minutes. Wait, that one was just me?.... Oh.

Anyway.

When I did it (and I can count the times on a single hand), I always had this feeling of “out of control.” Not in a way that would make me lash out at people, but more in the way that I couldn’t catch up to what was happening. I couldn’t get control of my brain, so it could tell me what was happening. My brain was lagging behind by twenty seconds, so I got the joke a little late, and I figured it all out seconds after it was over. It’s how the mentally challenged feel most of the time, I’m sure. Needless to say, I didn’t like to feel (shhhh) retarded. So the last time I did it, it was the last time.

I feel like I’ve been doing nothing for the last two days but getting inadvertently high. I can’t concentrate. I don’t get it. People look at me, call my name, ask me questions, and my mind? It’s on vacation somewhere. I can’t avert my attention from the task at hand to the question I’m asked. They’re out the door and down the hall, when I suddenly call out, “Yes, I’ll take care of it!” They’ve moved on, but I am only just getting it.

This head-cold, this brain-lagging, half-baked-ick that I’ve had for the last few days, is just not right. It’s not right to feel like I’ve just smoked a giant joint, especially when I haven’t. The very least it could do is make me really sick, with vomiting and fever and the whole kit-and-caboodle, so the only one to witness my apparent lack of cognition would be the dog.