When I first arrived in Thailand, I was all, “Look at all the geckos! They’re so small and sweet. Maybe I can tie a little leash around one and call him Buckminster*.”

But that was before I got to know them. Here’s why I can no longer trust geckos.

They plot against you.

When I was in bed yesterday, I felt something fall on my stomach. I looked up to see this …

He had just dropped a home-cooked lizardy nugget on my bare stomach, and this motherfucking gecko was just frozen there on the ceiling, staring intensely at me with his pinhead eyes.

They move too fast.

They have this horrible way of moving around, like a horror movie villain who has been run over by a car seven times, and, even though he has dislocated hips and backwards elbows, he still manages to stagger at an alarming speed. It’s a spasmodic, feverish shimmy. Their sticky foot pads allows them to climb walls, and if startled, they’ll find an open window to mush their fleshy bodies through, before disappearing into the night.

They want to mess with your mind.

The song of the gecko is omnipresent. GECK-O. It’s in the corners of your room. GECK-O. It’s under the couch. GECK-O. It’s coming from underwear drawer, your make-up bag, your box of Special-K. Imagine if I hid in your house and, every now and then, made my presence known by whispering my name. TORRE. TORRE. TORRE. No, not creepy at all.

They are bilingual.

Thai people call them chingchoksbecause according to them, that is the noise they make. Really? Because I’m hearing a distinctive GECK-O. There is definitely no CHING and absolutely no CHOC in GECK-O. Which can only me one thing: they speak two languages!

Whenever you are, there they are.

Every morning when I get out a bowl for breakfast, I expose a gecko from his hiding spot under the dishware. Freaked, he takes off running like a madman—his tiny hips sashaying in high speed, his beady eyes far too clued-in for my liking. Whether I’m preparing my breakfast or showering or sleeping, I can feel 1,000 unblinking stares fixed lasciviously on my food, my body, my orifices. They’re always near, watching, waiting …

They can lick their own eyeballs.

They don’t have eyelids, they instead just lick their eyeballs clean. Enough said.

They’re meaty.

Ivan was in the bathroom having a leisurely pee when he suddenly flew out of the door backwards. “There’s a giant lizard in there!” he said, startled. Ivan is the person I call when I need giant spider removal services. He swims with sharks and snacks on deep fried cockroaches. But this lizard had him jigging about on the spot.

“Really? You’re scared of a lizard?” I said.

“It’s meaty!”

“Can you put it outside?”

“No-ho-ho-ho-ho!” he stammered. “No-ho-ho-ho-ho-way! It’s too meaty.”

I wanted to see some meat that even an Argentinean wouldn’t go near. “Show me.”

He pointed in horror to the wall beside the toilet. It was longer than my foot, and meaty it was:

If you blur your eyes, they’re fingers with legs.

I used to think they were adorable, but now I realise they are the fingers of sex offenders that have grown eyes and legs so they can slip into small spaces without being noticed. See?

Or maybe they’re just harmless house lizards. I don’t know.

* Buckminster was the name my parents were going to give me if I’d come out a boy. No kidding. My parents tried for a boy, but had six girls instead. Clearly, God doesn’t approve of Buckminster either, but I feel it’s the perfect name for a creepy lizard on a leash.

5560. Umm Sharik reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) commanded her to kill geckos. This hadith has been transmitted on the authority of Ibn Abi Shaiba with a slight variation of wording. 5561. Umm Sharik reported that she consulted Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) in regard to killing of geckos, and he commanded to kill them and Umm Sharik is one of the women of Bani ‘Amir b. Luwayy. This hadith has been reported through another chain of transmitters with the same meaning. 5562. ‘Amir b. Sa’d reported on the authority of his father that Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) commanded the killing of geckos, and he called them little noxious creatures. 5563. ‘A’isha reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said about the gecko as a noxious creature”. Harmala made this addition that she said: I did not hear that he had commanded to kill them. 5564. Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: He who killed a gecko with the first stroke for him is such and such a reward, and he who killed it with a second stroke for him is such and such reward less than the first one, and he who killed it with the third stroke for him is such and such a reward less than the second one.

This is hilarious. And I happen to love gekkos, the cute little ones that chuckle at just the right moment when I would chat with friends in my apartment in Thailand. Then I went south to Cambodia and saw my first full-grown one. THEY’RE SCARY. And meaty..meaty is precisely the word for it. 🙂

That’s kinda sick imo. Dog toys? Maybe that’s a thing in Thailand, idk. We keep them as pets here but there aren’t any wild ones. Not sure if you’re being serious either. Plotting against you? They’re animals for goodness sake.

Torre, hilarious as always! I have to say though, I totally miss the geckos from my time in Thailand! They became such a routine site that it’s just not the same sitting at a restaurant at home in NYC and NOT seeing one of them traversing the ceiling above you!

I wasn’t scared of them geckos until last night when I saw one as big as a rat and tooooooooo meaty. I’m totally freaked out and I’m still under my sleeping net now, too scared to go out….. And I’m pretty sure what the cocks say is ku ku ruuuuu ku lol.

In Mexico (because I never had the opportunity to listen to so many roosters before I moved here) they most certainly say cock-a-doodle-doooo. Doodle has 2 syllables, without fail. Also they sleep in trees. What even? And as far as geck’s are concerned, I found one of those tiny buttholes hiding out in my tortillas yesterday morning when I tried to make breakfast. He refused to come out. So I had to go get new tortillas. Very rude little food-jacking geck.

When I lived in Cambodia there were geckos all over my flat. Someone once told me the only time they fall from the roof is when they are ‘mating’… I suspect I spent much of the time trying to discourage bonking (lest they drop on top of me when I least expect it!).

I know they’re essentially harmless, but I find them freaky… plus the noise they make can be bloody annoying!

Must be the sheer numbers of them. We have ONE lone gecko living near out car port and he comes out only when its super hot. He’s the only one ive ever seen at our house an don his own he is cute (and exciting for his rareness!). But what you’re describing does sound freaky…and hilariously described 🙂

How do you know it was only one and not many that looked the same? I thought we had ONE living on the boat (Lizzy) and then one day we found in a corner, dried up and very much dead. “Oh, no, poor Lizzy.” But then the next day, Lizzy was back, Pet Sematary-style.

I had never heard of the name Buckminster before, but just now, a quote by Buckminster Fuller came up in my FB feed. I had to come back and tell you. Was it he who your parents wanted to name you after?

You’ve done it again T dawg! Funny, funny post! I told you, they’re HUGE on that island! I feel the need to share the fact that I accidentally ran over a gecko on my wheely office chair last week. I may have cut the little guy in half?….It’s haunted me ever since! It wasn’t pretty. There is still little meaty bits in the wheel. And then there was the time one launched itself at me in the shower in Nam. I squealed like a bitch. Luke said he has never heard that sound come out of my mouth before. They are sneaky little buggers that haunt you. GECK-O, GECK-O is natures cruel version of the ‘Venga Bus’ song I reckon! Love to you and Ivan xxx

Wow – I was laughing out loud reading this. I always thought of geckos as cute and cuddly too, you know, the Geico gecko type of gecko. Now I have a new phobia! Thanks for the laughs (not the phobia) 🙂

I loved this post! You made me laugh out loud, but I gotta say, I’m down with the geckos, meaty or otherwise. I just find them so darn cute! I never actually knew that they really said ‘Geck-o’ until I was in Bali a few years ago and heard a little dude introducing himself for the first time. I have to admit, it made me love them even more. Don’t hate me.

I have to admit that when I lived in Saigon I quite liked the geckos that ran around the house (apart from when they sprang out from the toilet bowl), but my next door neighbour seemed to have all manner of problems with them: they used to run down his walls and steal rubber bands from a bowl on his desk! Another time he was removing his laundry from the washing machine and found HALF a gecko amongst his clothes! He never found the other half.

Ugh! Never thought they were cute but was never bothered by them either. I’d imagine if I saw them constantly they would begin to freak me out as well. I know you’ve probably already thought of this but I hope one never poops in your mouth while you sleep. That would definitely mean curtains for the little guy!

I have a massive phobia of geckos/lizards and had a very hard time reading this post. *Shudder* The last image did not settle well in my mind and I had to rapid-scroll to the bottom of the screen just so I could get away from the image. ARGHH!!!

And to follow up on some of the comments, I’d take a roach anytime over a baby lizard. Roaches still creep me out but at least I don’t do a minor convulsion whenever I see a picture of one.

I grew up in Cambodia for 14 years – I am TERRIFIED of them. When travelers come and say that they are the cutest creatures, I cringe. Next time, I’m showing them this post. I have so many horrible gecko stories too. yikes!

I love your gecko story and your Bio, the two things that I have read so far. Your website is beaucoup fun. I hope to have my own website someday, but I have a lot of time to sit and think about it since my son is going to make it for me. Maybe I’ll even learn how to be funny by then.

I met one of’em in the guestroom about a month ago, he was small and fast, he ran under the bed, I thought ok I don’t use that room so leave him be. We came across each other yesterday and he got bigger this time, maybe it’s another one and there’s a colony of’em but I’d rather not think about that…Anyway I hit him to the head with a long piece of wood (found nothing else to hit him with), his eye popped out and he jumped then fell and I saw some blood on the floor, he tried to run but I hit him again, his tail kept moving, I didn’t wanna kill him, but he was “damaged” and I feel bad about that, I still do. I threw it out anyway, hopinge he’ll survive, there’s a legion of cats outside, I’m not sure about him surviving, but I hope his death wouldn’t be by my hands…Anyway, since I’m feeling bad, I was browsing the internet for people like me, and I found this article, and I feel a little better, because that big meaty one in the bathroom, he fucking looks like the one I had in my house and I’m thinking maybe if I let it co-exist with me, I would have just burnt the house and moved somewhere else…so thank you for making me feel a little better!

Oh, I live in Texas, I don’t mind all the Gecko’s, they mainly live outside or in the fireplace stones. What I DO mind are the tarantulas!! Imagine those guys climbing on your walls…they freak me every time. AND they’re so big you can’t just squash them like a regular spider….

Well guys u are not gonna believe this,i have seen different geckos in my house and they give me sleeples nights literarily speaking.they wake me up from my sleep talking to my mind,guys u might tink am insane but its true.they stare at me a lot and sometimes its like they have powers they operate with.this creatures make me feel strange and sometimes they will hang directly above my head when am sleeping so i wake with up and get shock when i see them.guys dont trust wall geckos they are up to something and they seem dangerous to me.

Hahahahaha!! Oh my gosh, this is the funniest thing I have ever read! I can honestly agree with all of this! These tiny dinosaurs just stare into your soul and then you blink just once and they’re gone. Creepy!

This had me laughing your very funny!! I live in Greece and just when I think I have gotten rid of all the gekkos I go into the bathroom and another one is above my head!! they are horrid creatures!! I have just found another and refuse to go into the bathroom until my husband comes home which isn’t until tomorrow so I will be very smelly!! so annoying!

So I was nearly attacked in the bathroom tonight by the dreaded gecko. He pulled the classic ceiling drop. My husband was teasing me b/c I truly think I have a healthy fear of the little monsters. So I decided to look up “fear of geckos” to prove I’m not alone. I came across your blog and we thoroughly enjoyed it. Our geckos are not nearly as scary as yours so no trips to Thailand for me! Thank you for a good laugh! Oh and I hope I don’t have to get up in the middle of the night…I know he’s waiting for me.

OMG, I despise these guys! I live in Hawaii and they’re everywhere too!! 🙁 Currently I am losing a battle at getting one out of my car! It got in there two nights ago when I accidentally left my window cracked. It’s only 1 1/2 inches long (a baby one), but no less freaky!! He’s made 2 appearances since, but as soon as I try to get him out, he wriggles into a crease in my carseats….wish me luck!!

My friends think I’m nuts. I’m happy to learn I am not the only one with a healthy fear of geckos. I avoid live plants near the doors to prevent one from slipping in. While in Chicago last week, I noted – not a single gecko in sight. I may move there. I had to shoo one out of my house today. It was such an emotional episode, it may as well have been a python.

Hi, I also read this and found it quite funny. But then I realised it is based on lies, damned lies! How could a Gecko, clinging to the ceiling, turd up hill! Its’ ass is pointing upwards at this point and even if it could drop a nugget it would crap on itself and as such I feel you have done the humble gecko a disservice with your use of poetic licence!!!

Love this article, but I have to say that I have recently, more than ever grown to like this little gritter. They keep the house clean of horrible spiders and anything else that doesn’t pay rent in my house! And only just discovered that the chirping noise in my lounge is some chatty little Geckos, not a bird making his home in the air-con.

Checked into really nice hotel in Hanoi. While unpacking, moved pillow on bed, and a gecko ran across bed. Called operator to send someone to take gecko out of room, and when 2(!) people finally arrived with large bags, etal. I had already put a glass over him on the bed to prevent him from disappearing off it to elsewhere in the room. ALL had a good laugh as their ‘gecko’ is a very large lizard which is what they expected to see; not this cute little guy under a drinking glass! He/it had come in thru a small opening of the window from the foliage outside.

OMG! I so hate geckos. All my life. I hate and scared to death when I see them. A guy friend of mine passed out when a gecko fell on top of him when he was lying in bed. Your description of this hideous creature is so right!!

Hi! I stumbled upon your post because I have this freakishly sounding gecko in my fiancee’s room.. and you are soooo right! They plot against you! Every time my mind drifts away from its presence, it chirps and announces that it’s still there 🙁 We just moved in this room yesterday and I can’t sleep properly because I fear it might be laying flat on my face when I wake up the next morning . ANyhow, I enjoyed your post! 😀

Hi, I’m Gwen and i’m twelve but i’ve always known freaky Science facts and i’m P6 this year.Anywho, i’ve always thought of them little critters as ADORABLE, but just past night, i was playing with one and i couldn’t get hold of it so i used tape.Turns out it tore his belly skin, and inDID NOT want to see the skin on it’s back torn off,so i threw it out my window.Well, gues what? IT CAME BACK.THE TAPE STICKING It oN THE SOFA.Long story short, im glad i didnt experince what you did,you know, the poop.But i did try to sho one away just,and when i warned him of how loud and dangerous my Mum was,it just stood there.So i threw my soft toy at it twice and it scurried off on the top of the air con unit.did i mention i live in Singapore?But those lizzy fingers,it really got me creeped AND thinking o.o

would it be enough if i possess a shotgun or a rambo knife to save me from the devil geCk0’s in my home’s wall that shows it’s presence everytime i enter, underneath my bed, behind the curtain that always fearfully shocks me to death and evil egoistic charmeleons that from anywhere comes to me ….. i can see in their tiny sharp pointed eyes that they want to bite me 1000 times in every 1 hours…

i just moved down to texas and have been beset with geckos on my back porch – last night i saw one scampering into my house! i will not sleep well anymore – this cracked me up! i don’t get close enough to hear any sounds, but i’m sure this demon gecko in my house will be saying my name like yours was saying yours! thanks for the levity!

omg!! This is too funny! i lived in Michigan my whole life and the worse thing i came across was a garden snake or a centipede but i moved to Florida recently and omg geckos and lizards everywhere its disgusting i get chills every time i see one. Just saw one in my room the other day managed to kill it because it crawled under my hat and i stomped on it mwhahaa

I love this!!!! You got it right! I, too, was admiring the “adorable” creatures, claiming they were bringing out my maternal instincts until one particular brazen, hyper gecko started messing with us, including leaping onto my naked body in bed! The one in your bathroom is a Tokay. We’re in Thailand, too, and those tokays make all kinds of noise crawling all over the roof at night. Also cute – from a distance. haha! Love your blog!

they’re not good lizard,or either been use as evil tools by some wicked human,seriously,i feared this animal than a lion.i have been buying some poison to use to flush them out of my enviroment next time i travel to Africa. if they’re in your bedroom,watch out for some scratches on your face or body when you wake up next day.i can always feels when mosquito land on my skin,how come i never feel gecko’s scrach or even crawling on my skin.if they put their heads down toward where you’re sleeping,you will be struggling to get up from your bed,it is like 10 people held you down to your bed. i dont normally believe in superstitious crap,but i strongly believe this. Yoruba and other tribes in Nigeria,considered them to be evil or been use for witchcraft, i did experienced it many times since i was born,even till early this year when i was in Nigeria. i never felt such a thing where i live in europe. you never see them moving or running around,only if they want to eat inseects, they will just hang on the wall,watching you 24/7,the horror begin when you go to sleep.and this happens to many people.

geckos are disgusting and freaky creatures. they re definitely up to something. I have blocked all d holes in my room but still I dont know how they find their way into my room last night, I saw two at my window making annoying sounds so I tried killing them. geckos are evil creatures they just lurk around staring at you. I think they re used for evil by evil forces. I always kill them with insecticide whenever I see them. they should never be trusted.

Geckos are usually ambush predators, and some of them slow searching predators. Furthermore they are nocturnal and sleep during the day. And because they are nocturnal and cold-blooded, they have much less control of their body temperature than diurnal lizards. Although they have been adapted to such a life where temperature is fluctuating, they still have a slower metabolism, smaller lungs and heart than diurnal lizards, so they cannot sustain high activity for long. And when confronted by a threat, many geckos will initially freeze, hoping that the predator might ignore them. This might work for birds, other lizards, frogs, or even cats, but apparently it doesn’t work to the least for humans with their preconceived plans of killing them. A motionless gecko does not spy on you. It does not send magic to you. It doesn’t want to bother with you generally. Either it is sleeping, waiting for a meal, just relaxing or paralyzed of fear as a result of your threatening actions. Please get to their own point of view once, and stop interpreting their behaivior based on your hysterical notions. And geckos are animals that feel pain, for god’s sake! Would you douse a small mammal with insecticide, even a mouse in your home? Probably not. Would you do the same to a chick? Probably not. Would you do the same to a frog? Probably not. Would you do the same to an insect? Probably not most of the time. Would you do the same to a snake? Probably yes. Please sit down one time and think about the reasons you designate animals good or bad. You will be surprised how arbitrary are the criteria, and the justifications for doing what you do to bad animals even flimsier.

I so much hate ts creatures they mess wit ur mind. if u have geckos in or around ur house, u should try n observer if thr is one around when u having bad imaginations as if they possess one wit evil since I notice ts, I start killing n chasing them away n those bad imaginations stop coming to me

You must be what I call judgemental and consider your self as someone that desevers more than what you think is beneath you. I will admit it is because I love watching lizards of all kinds and have found that my mother is the only person that will bight her toung about how she feels about the time I spend doinjg that, bird watching and feeding but for me it is how I recharge myself after going thru major losses that still bring me much pain. So just because you focus on some negitive points of another life form should not knock the positive points of the map less you just dont want to spend the energy it take to recall something positive you once thought or felt. Maybe you are a victum yourself of such judgements and have not come to terms with sucking up the negitive you have come accross in order to keep from passing it on on the other hand maybe this lizard is the thing you allow yourself liberty to project negitive and worthless thoughts to the point of making sure you tell as many as you can of your negitive thoughts.

I hate geckos because of that commercial, where they have a British gecko from Thailand not understanding BullWinkle and Rockey! Now what’s next with this Dam lizard going to take on a new color? Black maybe? Shoot me!

Not all geckos are like these! There are more than 1000 species of geckos, and actually a few genera have adapted to live with humans. You happen to find the tokay gecko, scientific name Gekko gekko, which is a common gecko in south and southeast Asia, in houses, farms and the wilderness. From its vocalization all the members of the gecko superfamily got their name. The tokay gecko happens to be one of the largest geckos, up to 30 cm. Other house geckos, like the mediterranean house gecko (Hemidactylus turcicus) here in Greece, reach only 10 cm, and, although they can vocalize, most of the time they seem that do not exist. Nowadays they are found usually outside homes, because inside insects are usually absent. You can try to exclude geckos from your home by elliminating their food, insects, chasing them out and guarding possible entry points with mesh. And no, geckos don’t lick their eye balls. Actually the eyelids are extremely thin and fused in a kind of membrane, and the gecko licks that to clean it. The eye ball is inside and protected. That it is a good adaptation for a small nocturnal lizard that runs through branches, but closing the eye is a problem. Usually geckos will constrict the pupils as much as possible and pull their eyes a little in in order to minimize light absorbed. but to have a good sleep they will seek a dark place. I have a crested gecko (Correlophus ciliatus), and I have observed it much. Very different species than the tokay though. The tokay is also held in captivity, but it is not prefered by most for a reason. I don’t want to frighten you more, but it is extremely fearless and aggressive for its size. In an enclosed space, it will jump to an interfering human from a distance and lock its jaws on him for much time. The teeth are adapted to crush small snails and beetles, so guess what happens. Although I don’t believe that one will attack you, it might if you try to catch it with bare hands. And also beware of the dropping tails! Caught geckos can drop their tail, which regenerates later, as a form of defence towards predators. But we must feel some sympathy for those animals. In recent years, because of some fraudulent chinese people, who persuaded the gullible that tokay geckos cure aids, thousands are killed. They kill them, then make them a powder and sell them in capsules, with no proven benefit of course. That must stop!

Hilarious blog! Was a good read but to be honest, I love the geckos! I live in the countryside in Thailand so they’re all around my house. But last night a giant gecko (about 18cm) was actually stalking some little wren type bird that was eating the flies off my screen! I had to intervene and scare away the bird! Thought that was slightly odd!

the one with the yellow rings on its tail is a tokay gecko and it eats cockroaches, bigger than the normal house gecko which is green and has no rings on the tail. Both are welcome in my house though i haven’t seen a tokay for a long time. I leave snacks out for the house gecko, small pieces of boiled egg white and bits of soft cream cracker.

I hate geckos indeed. creepy and sneaky. and they keep running like thieves each time u meet them. I knw they do the job of eating up the bugs and insects but I wldnt need their help for dat. plus the fact dat they are eptiles belonging to same classification as snakes. I just dnt like em. got loads of dem here in Nigeria found almost in every house . they creep me out. I wish I knew abt any geckocide if such exists. lol

Haha.. hilarious. few faint tears funny! I lived in thailand for years and was also baffled by how the thai’s could hear anything but a distinct geck-o.. a thai guy told me ching chok is the book name, they also call them tokehs.. tok-eh tok-eh… closer…kinda.. but yeah, not really. Im on bali now and trying to figure out how i can get the two living in my house to be my friends.. i’ve fed them flies.. they still look skeptical of me… maybe it’s those unblinking eyes 😉 Thanks for the laugh 😀

Hi..those things are flippen nasty, I hate geckos, I scream for my husband everytime I see one, and if he doesn’t come on time to remove it, he just better watch out! I wonder why God created such ugly dirty creepies. I never got to see a geckos till I was 23. That was my first encounter, when we moved to our new home..I do have a fobia, but then again who doesn’t fear those ugly monsters, especially the transparent ones. They make like a click click noise…and leave stinky droppings. I always shut my windows before 6pm so that they don’t get into my house. There are many scary encounters with those uglies. Once I was taking a bath and one fell into the water, I got out screaming for my dear life and ran out naked and locked myself in my sons room. My hub thought there was a thief in the house. I was stammering, and shaking, and trembling, That thing fliippen drowned and died. Good! They all must get wiped out of this planet. I made my hub sterelize and wash my bath. They are aliens I think. They also rude and love looking at naked woman. Seriously I wonder if there’s anyone out there that like those freeks. I just think they should leave us alone.

Marline… wow. You really are afraid. Listen, there is help for people who have phobias and I think you should get it. Nobody needs to live with this amount of cortisol in their system. The reality of the situation is that we do live with geckos and other creatures that might make us feel uneasy, and they have as much right to the planet as you or I do. So we must make peace with them. Hurting or eradicating innocent creatures is barbaric no way to deal with one’s own irrational fear. Imagine if we all went around killing things we didn’t like! We have to make peace instead, learn to live among them.

Hahaha! Torre, I came here looking for ways to get rid of geckos after a miserably failed attempt at a gecko chase and almost died laughing!

Today one managed to enter my bedroom after I left the window open the entire day and it kept making random noises before I chased it for like half an hour. Although I couldn’t manage to get a hold of it or chase it out of the room, it’s been quiet for some time now, although it did vanish somewhere.

This chase was totally one of those experiences where I could really use all the Harry Potter magic spells that I could get my hands on!

Thanks a lot for such an entertaining post and such witty comment replies! 🙂

This is too funny, made my day! I have a beautiful 9 month old crested gecko, and she is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. But sometimes, at like 3 in the morning, I can hear her jump and skitter all around her cage (I keep her in my room), and that is the creepiest thing ever. It’s like a horror movie, you wake up and here a big ‘THUNK!’ in the middle of the night, then some creepy rustling around in the and you are utterly convinced there is a human in your room. Scares the crap out of ya. I’ve been pooped on, peed on, had her do her ‘freaky’ run all the way up my arm (which I think is adorable) but I love her anyways. You should get one as a pet, and a crested gecko stays mighty small, so no fear of the meaty ones.

Here in nigeria,we kill gecko as soon as it is sighted cos its evil or so its believed.in the night when one is asleep,it sneaks out of its hole and positions itself on the ceiling directly on top of the person and starts to suffocate the sleeping person. How it does it beats my imagination though.

Which part of Nigeria? Not where I am from! Our old wives’ tale is that allowing geckos to live in your space brings you good luck. Only way to stop people from. Killing the critters! Many wake up with scratches made by those creepy looking things.

I just came upon this post after seeing a Gecko walking on my wall in my bedroom it scared the shit out of me never did I ever think this little creepy motherfuckers are cute I hate this shit .I tried hitting the Gecko but he dropped his tail & got away didn’t want to step foot into my room. I’m scared as hell of this little freaky stuff. But this post was one of thee most creepy & funny things I’ve read in my life .#phobia

There are 100s of lizards in my home. They are living with us since our house is constructed. I don’t like them at all. They disturb us a lot. I have started observing them now. Last time one very very fat lizard layed eges behind the frame which is right at top of my bed. The noise was so so creapy. I just want to ask and know Do Lizards produce sound? Do they have sound? Can they talk?

I will expose them for what they do and are… Now listen carefully as i swear on my life.When you are sleeping at night and one is in your room they wait till you asleep then go above the ceiling where your head is directly under them they will then drop their tail so it lands on your face or nearest to it the tail then finds its way to your ear where it will crawl into it the tail moves deep till it reaches your brain then latches its tail on your mind hence they control you… that is why some people are not scared of them as for me i know this to be the truth this is why i fear for them as i am aware what they do and what they are capable of doing so i have a great fear for them as i don’t want to be controlled by them ….. This is a true story as i swear on my life for it to be true anyone who doubts it is under their control… Luke!!!!!

Luke, there’s no easy way to tell an internet stranger this, but here goes: You’re having paranoid delusions. This could be a symptom of some medication you’re on, a neurological disorder, celiac disease, or maybe an overactive imagination. Go to a doctor and tell them about the geckos controlling your minds. They will help you. You need help.

I just had my first encounter with a huge gecko, and now that I saw your pictures I feel reassured, I AM NOT ALONE !!! I had a good laugh and am slowly recovering from freaking out 😉 Thank you for this!

Great Story!! I live in Brisbane & my home is overrun by the dirty little creature’s…I have never said I hated any type animal, but these I can honestly say I HATE with a passion & would love nothing more then to find away of eradicating each & everyone from my home.

Had no idea that I acciddentally caught a gecko between sections of garage door this morn on way to school (I’m a science teacher with a great love for nature). Got home ans saw front half stilll alive wiggling arms in air opened door and he fell to ground and crawled awa… in half. I feel awful. Maybe he can regenerate more than just a tail?

Spot on. Thanks! Many people think that geckos are cute, but I say NOT! Looks can be deceiving. Have you seen them hunting? Geckos are brutal. They’re so quick, swallow their prey whole and display no remorse as they smugly gulp away. I feel a bit sorry for the poor bugs to be honest. Blinded by the lights as they flutter around haplessly, minding their own business. Only to end up as digestion material, still alive probably, thinking thoughts like: “What the fuck just happened?” and “Ouch!”

Lizards usually do not swallow prey alive. Geckos chew it a little and then swallow it. But why you should call them brutal? Other, probably more dear predators for you are much more brutal. Each carnivorous animal has evolved to getprey as efficiently as possible in order to survive and minimize costs.

You are hilarious:-) 🙂 I’ve been depressed lately and need to get you book to cheer me up! Its not the rain, its the SUN. I live in phoenix. Not sure what I was thinking when I left beautiful Colorado!!!

oh my!! We also have here in Thailand. In my house. I always hear gecko every night and sometimes I see the shadow behind the window in my toilet. Before I didnt know how it looks thats why I search and i found this.

A week and some days before I caught a house gecko, Hemidactylus turcicus, (I am from Greece) in a basin where I had a container with mealworms. It was in a small room in the terrace over my flat, where I keep the colonies of my insects due to the favorable constant high temperatures at summer. Apparently it was eating the food of my lizards! I have a crested gecko and a bearded dragon, and also a horned frog. It was very panicked and tried to run from the one side to the other, but I caught it before it climbed the basin. It tried to run through my fingers, but then frose in place, letting a barely audible sound. It was then very convenient to photograph it.https://bolko.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/20150724_163530.jpg It remained immobile for some time, flinching and moving its tail when I proded it. Apparently they show their tail to predators like many other small lizards, in order to attack their tail and drop it to get away. I then handled it again. A very, very small and delicate animal that has no chance to any predator its size and bigger I believe. And yet this innocuous animal has haunted the mythology and folklore of Mediterranean and other cultures for millennia. How is that possible? It is just a small lizard. Then I left it outside to hunt some mosquitos, and leave my insects alone! But the next day I heard gecko sound in that room, and again the other day. Perhapse there are some of them there, eating small insects. I then changed mind – I will cover my insect containers, but I will leave a cup with very small insects for the geckos to visit and eat. I have to see them in that room for much time, maybe years. Also some days before, when I was in vacation in our cottage, I was hearing gecko sounds everywhere when I was outside in the yard at night. Near lights, from inside bushes, over windows. If an area has geckos and you know how they sound, it is certain you will hear them if you pay attention.

I of course uploaded the photo on the blog, wrote about the incident, and when the identification was certain, I continued the article presenting all the gecko species in Greece.

Living in Hawaii we have them everywhere. born and raised here and I’m still deathly afraid of them. Don’t know why, can’t be in the same room as them. everyone says that is must be a “past life experience” …LOL, maybe the dinosaur days…enjoyed reading this, made me laugh, made me squirm! mahalo!

I realized we started getting alot of geckos and was surfing for info on why all of a sudden we have so many and found this article. I loved it and I have to admit I was thinking about keeping one as a pet but I have now reconsidered. Thanks for the heads up!

I’m sitting on my verandah in Amed Bali and I currently have two species of gecko entertaining me. The massive Tokay that is hiding in this crack above the shutters making very loud noises. It is camera shy but we know it is there. Avoids being photographed….suspicious in this land of selfies. The other more numerous, like I count 9 gathered around the fan and light, are running around the ceiling waiting for a meal to land. One big sucker is intimidating the others like a gang leader….wagging his tail and scaring them off. He just got this big bug with his lightening fast tongue. Free entertainment for me.

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I feel you. I used to like geckos until last night, because they look cute and they eat bugs (plenty of bugs here in Bali, nice to get some cleaning help in your bedroom). However, last night I’ve had a really chatty gecko hanging right above my bed and I could hardly catch any sleep. *sighs* And now at dawn, when I have to get up, it of course shuts up. I’m wondering whether I should start talking really loud now, as a revenge, to disturb the gecko’s sleep now …

I’m so glad I’m not the only one terrified of these little demons…. where I’m from we don’t get them but I’m on holiday at the moment and they are every where. I went to bed and closed my door, turned off the light and as I picked up my phone these things started to glow… my room was covered in them. My mom and aunt had to spring clean my room before I could walk into the room so I could sleep. They even taped closed all the air vents because apparently there are hundreds in the roof.

Why would a reptile repetitively find it way above ones head when one is sleeping? Why on the head and why does it drop on the person when the person is deeply asleep? Each time I am having a nightmare, I often wake up to see this creature next to my head. There is definitely something evil about it

I lived in Florida for a few years and yes you are right I thought they were cute too Until I couldn’t open the front door because of all of them or sit on the deck outside without being invaded lol So now I just enjoy watching the insurance company and their commercials with a Gecko Fun blog enjoyed it Thank You

What really made me browsed this reptile is its scary look. Whenever am in my kitchen, I always saw it but I did not feel comfortable killing it and I did not want to see it. But since I did not want to see it I decided to kill two with hot water and since then I do not see any of them again.

Loved reading this!!! Absolutely hilarious and sooooo true!!! I have geckos everywhere and have learned to never trust them!! They can get through the smallest spaces and they get into everything!!! You never say never with a gecko hahahaha!!! ㋡ Thanks for the humorous spin on this pesky creature!!

Oh my God! This is so hard to read. I’m soooo terrified of geckos and I had to cover their pictures while reading this article! I wish I don’t have this phobia! They just look so disgusting and creepy to me! Those big eyes and creepy fingers of them damn! Your friend is right. They look meaty too :/ ahhh they are just so ugly! I am not afraid of cockroaches and spiders but geckos freak me out!!! They can make me cry out of fear and it is so hard…so hard living with lizards! My dream is to travel the world but I am afraid to encounter geckos because I know they are everywhere..I deeply wish they never existed! :'(

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I say to you,I definitely get irked while people think about worries that they just don’t know about. You managed to hit the nqil upon the topp and defined ouut the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal. Willl likely be back to get more.

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This is hilarious! I had the same experience with Geckos while holidaying in Bali. They kept getting in our room at night and making that fucking noise all night long. We found chasing them with a flashlight (pointing it at them then moving the light quickly) forced them back out, but ugh…so glad to be home and away from Geckos. I never thought I’d prefer the insects and creatures of Australia to anywhere else, but I must say, I’m glad there’s no Geckos where I live.

Oh my goodness, this article was hilarious!!! I don’t like geckos either. In fact I detest them. The way they move creeps me out so your description of that was perfect, lol! I’m pretty sure they eat their young too. I have a horror story about that, but we’ll leave it there.

HAHAHAH!!! I was searching the web, trying to find info on common geckos – because there’s one in my house and I found it in my bed the other day… and then I found your post! hahah I laughed so hard. Kinda makes me feel like chasing him outa the house now hahah… funny as hell!!

You’re actually describing 2 different species of geckos here. The ones you find everywhere, that was on your ceiling, are quiet little house geckos. The “meaty” bathroom lizard is a tokay gecko, the males of the species give a loud call of “GECK-OH! GECK-OH!” Which you’ve obviously heard. Your friend Ivan was right not to move the gecko in the bathroom, as,tokay geckos can be very aggressive when frightened,and will bite and clamp on. That said, I love tokays and have had multiple tame ones.

So..im sleeping…. You know on my bed and I felt something cold on my arm and I’m thinking….”oh where did this water come from” but then I decided to wake up and decipher where it came from and poof I see thing yellow gecko starting at me. I threw it to the ground and it magically disappeared….. I am totally scared for life….I still get chills…..

I have a pet gecko, hes nice, but my brothers gecko, omg HES A COMPLETE A HOLE!! Earlier, i came upstairs in the room hes in to watch him, cuz im bored, and he quickly to me and his tail rises up and he shakes it. Then he flings at me, but thank GOD that hes in a cage!!! My gecko and his used tobbe in the same cage. My cuzin had them both in one cage and after a few months, decided she didnt want them anymore. I wanted the bigger one. My brother wanted the smaller one. And his gecko is a freaking demon!! And mine is a complete sweet heart. If u tKe mine out of his cage, and put him on a blanket then put the other side of the blanket (the part hes not on) on hus head, he closes his eyes and he looks like hes smiling. (I know suicide is no joke, but i mean it) My brothers gecko is suicidal. If u take him out, he will try to jump out of your hands, no matter how high. He bites and growls… i didnt know geckos can growl!!! So what im trying to say is, i guess there are nice geckos and geckos that just want to kill u. At least u dont have to feed them live crickets ○_○

I have a small gecko in my house and it continuously squeaks. :-O The sound it makes is tchak tchak tchak…I read on net that mostly male geckos make noise..Don’t know how true is that. I was considering it to be a talkative female..

I have been tormented by a nocturnal insect for almost a year, every single night! – had pest control twice and tried everything to repel it, but still don’t know what it could be. It seems intelligent and follows me from room to room, and is determined to wake me! Doesn’t like light or noise, but soon gets used to everything. I pray to God to remove this soul from my life, but it keeps coming without fail, every night. Please help! Dash.

Hmm, this sounds like an especially difficult situation and I’m sorry to hear you’re being harassed like this. Since pest control isn’t working, nor any other method you’ve tried so far, perhaps you have to learn instead how to protect yourself psychologically? I would recommend therapy for this – it can help you get your power back so that pests like this cannot affect you anymore. It has helped other people I’ve spoken to. You shouldn’t have to live this way.

I cannot live with poop in my sink, bathroom and every possible place. Will my dog get poisoned? Even she is afraid. I have been up 3 weeks. Very little sleep. This us not cure. I love my house and antique furniture. Kill them..how?????!???!

That may have just been the best and most humorous take on the gecko race. I too believe that they have the hands of sex-offenders. My father (and other members of my family) found this piece very amusing, he is the author of the children’s novel ‘Steve the pug’ if you attempt to google this you will not find anything as it does not exist. At the time of this comment we too have a giant plotting reptilian watching us from the ceiling, we do not yet know what to do with it however we may have to move out of the house. Any ideas? Though humerous it has not helped with our scaly infestation.