The problem with social anxiety

I’ve been shy for as long as I can remember, even if it was just simply talking to my aunts and uncles. I would just hide between my mom’s legs and try not to make eye contact. I always labeled myself as shy and awkward, unable to talk to people because of my own brain chemistry. Throughout my life, however, I’ve been gradually getting better. Now I can talk to anybody if I really need to, and if someone engages with me then I will respond to them like a normal person. Eye contact is still an issue, though. I should really invest in a pair of sunglasses. However, the part about being responsive when people engage with me is important.

My mom read me a personality quiz thing a while back, and it led me to an important discovery about myself. I’m not shy or awkward, I’m just an introvert. I just prefer to keep to myself, and if I really want to talk to someone then I will communicate with them. But if I don’t find it necessary, then my mind just doesn’t care. The reason I always thought I was awkward was because I would end up in situations where I didn’t know what to say to someone, but that’s not a bad thing. That doesn’t make me some useless person.

If I don’t know what to say to them, then I shouldn’t try to talk to them. My main way of communication is asking people questions, anyways. Whenever I first meet someone, I will only ask them questions. I don’t really know what else to do. On the plus side, the Reno gold buyers guys know how to talk to me. My dad will perpetually blame it on video games, as they have very clearly caused everything bad that’s ever happened. They consume my life and I’m braindead and all that bad stuff. He just seems to be baffled when I have difficulty talking to someone who doesn’t talk to me first. What am I supposed to say? I can’t stand small talk