Yes it has been quite some time since my last
entry. Been busy with own business that demanded me a lot of time and
attention. I really wanted to write
frequently but have no liberty for it. But this time while waiting MU vs
Real match, I insisted myself to write.
Not about MU but the standoff between our troops and Sultanate of Sulu
followers that intruding our land in Sabah.

My hearts and
prayers went to the eight heroes who died because of this intrusion by Sultanate
of Sulu followers who wanted to claim their ancestral land. This was a very
stupid way to claim any rights if there any, in this modern day. Still puzzle
with their game plan. They surely know that cannot outmuscle Malaysian force
with 200 people. This is not a Kungfu or Bollywood story. This is real. If
Malaysian army crushed them with all the might we had what will that do for
their so called struggle. International sympathies? I really did not think so.
You came to our house uninvited then claimed something that impossible. And
worse you killed our policemen. That made you a better man than us? Or this is
how you wanted to claim something. That fact Sabah is under Malaysia and you
had to face and take it with your heart. Ancestral thing had long gone. We
Malaysian also lost our ancestral land to Thai and Singapore, and did we go to
sent army to claim it. We live in modern world now. Please understand that. And
for Filipinos who against our offensive attacks on the intruders you really don’t
understand.

This is our land
our sovereignty and our dignity. The intruders killed our serviceman first
while our government been so kindly for you. Two deadline been given and yet
you stayed stubborn. I supported my Prime Minister decision to crush them with
our might. I’m not Najib fan and neither voted for his party, but he is my PM
and supported his decision on this matter. And I believed most Malaysian if not
all supported his decision regardless any political party.

When I heard the
news of two commandos were killed in a skirmish, I really feel sad. I thinks now I understand how their family feel right
now. Then six more police died, the saddened went up higher mix with angry.
Well my father was an army. He was in Rejimen Askar Melayu DiRaja or RAMD. If
not mistaken he was attached at first at Satu Melayu. Be in the army my late
father was very fierce person and I really afraid of him. And being so I was
not so closed with him compared to my other siblings. May be I also was very
naughty and stubborn. The malay say ‘jenis tak dengar kata.’

If got angry he
could easily swing his green army belt at my body. And as body got used to it I
could withhold the pain but still made me frighten with this green belt. So
when he not at home I really happy hehehehe. But when he was not home made
another person sad, anxious and restless. The person would be my mother. As an
army during my kid years in the eighties, my late father still had to go to the
jungle and fight the communist. My late usually told us “ ada operasi”. That
meant joy for me as he will not be around sometimes if not mistaken for a week.
Hahahaha seronoknya abah tak ada. But for my mother that was not what she
wanted to hear. When I grow up then understand why my mother tried to cover her
sadness when saying goodbye my father who was then with almost full gear. Why
my mother was terrified to hear the knock on the door while father was on
operation. Why her face changed when he saw army trucks moving in front of our
rental house. She got more frantic when my father not coming back on the
promise day.

My late father
was away to fight the communist. That I was made to understand when I was a kid.
What I did not know was how dangerous it was. What I knew when my father
finished his operation he will bring back the ration or the food supply that
was given to him. I really love the pineapple and powder milk. I will fight
with my brothers for it. I did notice my mother face when he saw my father came
home in the green uniform. She will smile profoundly. Yes she was.

I remembered
asking my father about the long scar at his hand. For me it was like an art so
beautiful crafted at his hand.

“ Cam mana abah
dapat ni.” I sincerely asked him.

He replied “
Masa operasi.”

He really felt unease
when we asked about his operation. But sometimes he shed a little bit stories
about his operasi. Like they (the army) really afraid of booby trap. He said
the communist were really good of this. To avoid this they must really, really
aware with the surrounding (the jungle). Usually there were signs for booby
trap. However the troops well much safer if there were Iban tracker in their
squad. He said the late Kanang anak Langkau was among the best. He also told us
about some code when talking in the radio. It was something that amazed me. And
my father will try to memorize it until while eating he said these words. He
also told us that his friends died in the ambush by communist in Sintok ,
Kedah. And also about his rushed to report back to camp after got married due to
Tragedi 13 May 1969. No honeymoon at all.

Well enough of
my story for now. It was sad moment for
us now when we loss eight heroes in the standoff. So stop all the politicking
things, stupid remarks and tried to be hero things. The real heroes are
fighting in Sabah.