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Most films should be so lucky as “Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice,” a production that enjoyed the benefits of the world’s finest creative, financial, and technical resources, in addition to having an extraordinarily gifted filmmaker on set every day. But since “Argo” director Ben Affleck was busy playing Bruce Wayne, helming duties fell to Zack Snyder.

Whoops.

Whatever thing has made it to multiplexes under the title “Batman V Superman” – movie is too strong a word – is an end-to-end fiasco, bringing with it a murderous Batman, a mopey Superman, a Jolly Rancher-sucking Lex Luthor, and a minefield of concurrently dull and tasteless narrative beats that don’t so much comprise a story as stand in for one.

Credit where credit is due: the 150-minute film is boldly, inventively worthless.

After a title sequence that needlessly rehashes the death of Bruce Wayne’s parents, the picture opens on the climactic brawl between Superman and General Zod that concluded Snyder’s insipid “Man Of Steel.” Only this time, we see it from the Dark Knight’s point of view.

As a bristling Bruce watches Kal-El fling himself through skyscraper after skyscraper – inevitably maiming thousands – the film peaks.

Not only is Bruce watching the scene with the correct amount of disdain (it’s a bad sequence from a bad movie with no regard for its source material), Affleck looks like Bruce Wayne, bringing with him, however briefly, the hope of a worthy successor to Christian Bale’s take on the Caped Crusader.

But just as quickly, reality seeps down like a freshly cracked egg to the forehead.

We’re in the hands of a director who’s made a career of annexing and diluting beloved properties, and a writer, David Goyer, who shouldn’t be penning grocery lists much less screenplays to $250 million movies. From “Blade: Trinity” to “Man Of Steel” his filmography reads like an obituary, his contributions to Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy unmistakably smoothed over by co-writer Jonathan Nolan.

For most of its opening 90 minutes, “Batman V Superman” is an abyss of primitive political commentary, meandering subplots that hastily set up Warner Bros.’ forthcoming “Justice League” movie, and a notable lack of action sequences. Many viewers will find themselves stunned by the interminable chattiness of it all – at least until the mean-spirited bombast of the final hour kicks in and the tedium of acts I and II becomes a fond memory.

Henry Cavill’s second go-round as Clark Kent / Superman once again establishes that the actor is not cut from leading man cloth. While he’s not to blame for the inexplicable one-dimensionality of his character, he doesn’t bring so much as a speck of charisma, reducing Supes to sad man in a spandex suit. Alternatively, Affleck might make for a terrific Caped Crusader and Jeremy Irons a fine Alfred, but who would know amidst such uninviting nonsense?

Conversely, Amy Adams’ Lois Lane is easy to pin down. She’s limited to imparting would-be exposition that neither characters nor the audience require. It’s a nothing role that’s sets the stage for the movie’s other female character whose presence boils down to name recognition.

See Wonder Woman, played by Gal Gadot. Armed with a costume, sword, hilariously overwrought musical theme, and dubious acting skills, she’s in the movie for no other reason than to let us know that she has her own movie coming out in 2017. Goyer and star-crossed co-writer Chris Terrio (“Argo”) tell us absolutely nothing about her or the other impending Justice League members, most of whom briefly appear via security cam footage. (Points for Aquaman’s stone-faced cameo though, which is nearly devastating in its hilarity.)

Mysteriously, it’s Lex Luthor (played by a tragically miscast Jesse Eisenberg) who’s the film’s lone connective string – and a shining symbol of all its failings.

As Luthor pits the Bat-vigilante against the all-powerful alien from Krypton, Eisenberg’s weaselly, gestural performance is at once out of step with everything around him and entirely in tune with his director’s disdain for the material.

Luthor’s motivations here are born purely of hate, which isn’t just untrue to the character’s history but offers the worst possible foundation for a movie that ultimately looks to be about team building. Nearly every character here dislikes one another, in turn making us dislike them tenfold.

The vitriol is an issue as deep-seated as a movie can have, resulting in something more than tone deafness: tonelessness. Nothing means anything in “Batman V Superman,” with multiple dream sequences existing merely to mix up the color palette and provide some money shots for the ad campaign. As the story ping pongs between scenes that are both internally and externally disconnected, Snyder gradually unmasks his magnum opus: a sizzle reel with no sizzle.

When the title fight finally goes down, it’s less fireworks display, more cannonball to the testicles. Never mind that Bats and Supes don’t have any good reason to be fighting, or that Gotham and Metropolis are conveniently located next door to each other, or that the scuffle’s resolution is something out of a soon-to-be-canceled soap opera, it’s little more than loud noises and flying fists – a predictably angsty scuffle that’s sure to end in a draw.

The monotony of the first hour and change is nothing compared to the white noise machine that begins with a suicide bombing (doing a huge disservice to actress Holly Hunter) and ends with a wildly derivative battle between our “heroes” and a giant monster who’s not even hinted at until he shows up on screen.

Snyder and company then spend twenty endless minutes trying to convince us that one of their main characters is dead when of course he or she isn’t.

Moviegoers looking for Batman, the detective-vigilante with no superpowers, or Superman, embodiment of “Truth, justice, and the American way,” should look somewhere else. Anywhere else these character have appeared. “Batman V Superman” is the un-event movie of the year, a momentum-less ode to uncreative people everywhere that torches two of pop culture’s greatest characters and uses their ashes as a urinal cake.

This review sums up the movie better than anything I’ve read yet. Great work. What a disappointment for the fans of these characters, and what a sad waste of potential, considering the resources available.

The comments perfectly illustrate the mindless children to whom this idiotic film appeals. If you respond to opinions you don’t like (and in this case realities you don’t want to face) by calling the messenger a big, fat poopy-face, Zack Snyder speaks for you.

Yes. Thank you. This review is spot-on, even down to pointing out WW’s absurd battle intro music.

Having seen “Man of Steel” and its shredding of the source material, I reluctantly watched this with eager friends. The only positive that came from doing so was that now I’m certain none of them will be clamoring to watch the upcoming “Justice League” movie–or really, any future film connected to this.

And BTW–David Goyer, now that I’ve been clued into which writer was the actual failure behind this movie’s script, please know that I plan to stay away from anything you ever write again.

Can’t agree more with the review. This movie was a mess and how any one who was involved with the making of this movie can even cal themselves a pro should be deeply ashamed.

This was not a movie, this is what you would call a 2 and half hour long trailer to set up another movie, which will be another movie to set up another movie and another to set up another….hello Marvel universe?

How does anyone screw up a movie with that kind of a budget and when you have source material that at best is of one or maybe two dimensional characters? If I wanted to read a comic book I’d read one, why would I want to look at a movie screen and see someone that’s even worse than a comic book?

Zack Snyder seriously needs to go back to film making 101. You have the money Zack, go and enroll. Because making movies is more than putting up visuals, more than throwing things in just for the hell of it. It’s a movie, not a buffet dinner.

Less is more but Zack has has apparently learned from his idol Nolan that more is less. And BVS proves that point. More is less. And when the extended 4 hour version comes out it will be even more concrete.

It’s hilarious to me (and ironic) that fanboys seem to be HURT by the bad reviews. Like they’ve been personally insulted by the reviewers. When in reality – it is the movie (and Snyder) that is the insult. An insult to the comics and to the characters. But the fanboys can’t handle that kind of a letdown and betrayal; so they childishly lash out at the reviewers. LOL

Nailed it. Not sure what movie commenters ‘Jason’ and his pal saw, but obviously wasn’t this one. It was loud, boring, dumb and so deaf to the proper tone for either of these storied characters that it makes you wonder what the hell Warner Bros. were thinking when they gave Zack Snyder the keys to the kingdom. Does he have compromising photos of Tsujihara in Tijuana or what?

I totally agree with the review. I almost feel asleep during the first 40 minutes. And speaking from a female point of view, Batman/Bruce Wayne and Alfred have always been very well groomed. These characters looked as if the just came from a homeless shelter. Even Batman’s costume looked a mess.

What a senseless review. Olson makes not 1 single compelling argument on why the movie is bad. Not once does he ever tell us what could have been potentially better, what he would have changed, they are just empty rants because he had a different vision for the movie. He just whines about why “things didn’t go his way”. I’m not saying reviews are not subjective or biased, but if you didn’t think there was enough action, its not very convincing. Most of the bad reviews on rotten just dislike it for stupid nonsensical, reasons like (oh it was boring, oh how dull).

I wish I could do more to stand up for this movie. Please don’t take his review seriously and watch the movie for yourself. I thought it was a great movie. Those complaining about action and characters not sticking to the comic are the real butt hurt fan boys who can appreciate an adaptation. This is not your typical marvel fan appeal movie, yeah its dark, yeah its different.

This review really was terrible as far as reviews go. No real specifics regarding why they disliked elements of the movie other than whizzing around complex grammar to distract you from the fact that all the reviewer stated was the writer sucked for writing a screenplay, the director sucked for directing a movie, the theme music was theme music and he didn’t like it, and the Batman v Superman fist fight was…a fist fight. Agreed with serulin that the reviewer does not offer a single sensible rebuttal as to how the movie possibly should have gone that would better it or how exactly the elements were really terrible other than that his personal taste differs from the creators behind the movie.
Yes, comic readers beware: this is not a direct translation from paper to screen. Reality: what movie adaptation truly is save for the campy child-based books (i.e. Hunger Games and Maze Runner)? What good is creating a 100% film adaptation of reading material except for those that are truly incapable of imagining the environments and universes that the authors literally draw out for the reader? That’s ridiculous, boring, and a waste of $10 for the movie ticket. Why would I read a book and then pay good money to see the exact same thing on a screen?
If you are a half-brained human being who thinks harder than “what should I have for dinner” on a daily basis and you enjoy good superhero action, tastefully mixed in with realistic philosophical ideology (Justice League, hello?!), then this movie is incredible and ticks all the checkboxes.

people who don’t agree with your review have never read a comic or watch and animeted series of batman or super man. one of batman main points is that he does no used guns, he hates, he is hunted by the fact that his father did not fight back. yet in this movie hi tries to fight back. it makes me think that the guy who wrote the story just saw some batman show and said i got this with out doing any research

Whoever is hiring screenwriters in Hollywood DOES NOT CARE!!! This movie still is grossing half a billion dollars globally, so all it proves is that movie quality no longer matters in a world filled with portly idiots with no brains or guts. Movies were so much better when they had to rely on top casting, great actors, and great directors who knew great actors. Throw in studio execs who could tell a good script from a pile of dung, like most movies have these days, and that was how movies were once made to be good, whether in the USA, or often, the UK. We’ll see if the Chinese care any more about quality story. It really can’t be that hard to make a film for idiots that still has something resembling a decent script.

Sorry, have to disagree. The movie states Bruce’s reasons for fighting Superman-the feeling of powerlessness. He first felt this when his parents were murdered in front of him, which is why the movie shows this scene. He feels it again in the following scene with the battle of Metropolis from Man of Steel. Due to the power displayed by Superman, and Bruce’s powerlessness to save his employees he is brought back to his parents death. Also his past experiences with people (men don’t stay good) have him believe that Superman could turn on humanity at any time. Superman was forced by Luthor to fight Batman even though he had no desire to. As for Luthor he is psychotic as Lois Lane says, but his reasoning for hating Superman is as he says-“Power can’t be innocent”. Superman has a lot of power clearly and is also disproving Lex’s notion with only trying to do good. Luthor is outraged by this and wants the public to view him as not so good (the reason for the Africa sub-plot). This is also his reasoning for creating Doomsday with no way to stop him. Doomsday to Lex, proved power was not innocent. As for Superman being dreary and brooding as a lot of people claim- in the movie much of the world distrusts him and fears him. Additionally, when he tries to do good (yes he clearly tries watch the trailers with the saving people montage) sometimes bad consequences follow such as in Africa. Therefore he’s not going to be all happy and smiling. As for the argument that the movie doesn’t follow the source material-what source material are you talking about. There are tons and tons of different interpretations of Superman and the other characters in the film. The 1940’s differ from the 50’s which differ from the 70’s which differ from the 80’s which differ from the 90’s and so on. There is not one version of the character-there are many (Christopher Reeve was great, but he is not the only Superman). This interpretation puts Superman in a more realistic world which is why not everybody is so accepting of him. Additionally, the ending sets Superman up to be more confident of himself and his actions in future movies so he will evolve into more of a leader and figure people can look up to.

I went to the movie expecting to see a train wreck after all of the info that came out about it during its production. I was not disappointed. The filmmakers seemed more concerned with setting up future movies, and big action scenes full of CG vomit, than telling an interesting and coherent story about sympathetic and well developed characters. And, um, there are a LOT of scenes in this movie of Superman sneering at the camera with glowing red eyes… Great imagery there Snyder. You turned the embodiment of of Hope, Truth, Justice, and the American Way into a hateful, brooding demonic entity, who can be provoked to murder at the drop of a hat by prodding his mommy issues.

For those who believe in the validity of the Bible, and in both its God and His archenemy, I want to say that I see this movie as the product of Satanic inspiration – it seems that its real agenda is to supplant the supremacy of the one True God of Scripture with a contemporary pantheon of demigods in grand historic Pagan style. One of the last scenes presents us with Lex’s annunciation of the soon to come to power Satan and presents us with a classic drawing of him. Superman is just a perversion of Jesus, including scenes reminiscent of Jesus being taken down from his death-implement and into the arms of his mother and mary magdalene. I sense that Satan’s whole purpose in orchestrating this abominable “movie” is to confuse the upcoming generation of youth who have not been exposed to the Biblical reality of The true God, Jehovah, and His messiah, Jesus. God help us all. (By the way, the review was brilliant and couldn’t have been more succinct or pointed. And of course, the industry and studio trolls hired to dispute it are the best that money can buy. This movie is not the worst movie of the year, it is the worst movie EVER. SAVE YOUR MONEY and your spirit and don’t expose yourself to such demonic filth.)