Enjoying newly found freedoms, Martin is a down to earth, honest, quirky humor, compassionate and upfront kinda guy. Easy going and love to laugh. Into good food, wine and great company. I’ll talk and try to help anyone.
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13 Comments

Communication is key, but you shouldn’t feel pressured to share all the time. Some people are able to deal with some problems themselves, but there comes a time where the only way to move forward is to open up.

‘Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are’.
LOVE that.

It can be tough to step outside of our emotions and take the position of the observer. In relationships – and life in general, it’s a pretty cool thing to learn to do…as it offers some additional clarity.

I love the concept of delving deeper than the surface bullshit. So often we think that it’s the external circumstances that are the reality of a situation – when in fact, they’re simply a reflection of our inner-environment.

Love this! Having experienced both the “real” and the superficial, there is no question that a relationship in which both parties aren’t able to achieve intimacy in communication is probably doomed. Or at the least, it won’t be very enjoyable. It’s a real sign of compatibility if two people can relate on a deeper level.

One big one has got to be the inability to listen. It seems that often one party approaches a talk simply with the idea of getting something off her chest and isn’t terribly interested in what the other has to say. That’s especially true when what’s being said is something you really don’t want to hear. In that moment, it’s really hard not to get defensive and respond angrily without thinking about what your partner is really trying to communicate.

Another problem seems to come up when the relationship is somehow imbalanced. For instance, when one party is more invested than the other. In those cases, just about any deeper communication can be blocked by fear from the more invested one, of getting a response he may not like, or annoyance or impatience from the one less invested. In order for truly effective communication to occur, there has to be equal goodwill and a desire for the relationship to succeed.

There’s talking and then there’s REALLY talking!
Thanks for your words, Melissa. I suppose I sometimes struggle with some people that can only talk, from the surface I.e. They can’t reveal themselves.
Have you ever found this yourself.

As a person who doesn’t have a problem revealing myself to my significant other, I also struggle with others who simply talk and not talk from within. I think it’s something they ought to learn and practice for the good of the relationship.

So tell me Melissa, in your view, 2 people in a relationship really do need to be able to fully disclose and reveal themselves to each other, yes or no?
And do you also see this within other successful relationships as well?

Oh timing is always to be considered.
I find it quite puzzling though as to why couples in an established relationship are paralysed in revealing their true honest inner self. To the point of almost lying (though they probably don’t realise it). Very odd behaviour.