I’ve posted before about how I didn’t know my brother was gay until we accidentally ran into each other in a gay bar in New York one night. I’ve also posted about one of my nephews coming out to me through a Facebook PM a couple of years ago, which left me a little speechless at the time. He’s in med school; he dated women. I was shocked. I think most gay people out there can relate to this…having other gay family members and being a little surprised to find out about it.

But this one is a little unique.

Having a gay relative has got to be every young gay guy’s dream, although I had no clue that I had gay uncle that has been living in San Francisco since 1988. Which is a bummer; I can only imagine how great it would have been to know that I had a queer uncle in the gayest city in the world.

Complicated family dynamics prevented me from even knowing of his existence until five years ago, and this New Yorker wasn’t able to make the cross-country trek to meet him… until now.

Of course my mom claimed she knew about my nephew all along before he told anyone. She said mothers always know. So there’s that.

Varla Jean Merman Without Drag

Admittedly, I don’t know much about drag culture. Anything drag related is as foreign to me as gay men are to some straight men out there. But I have heard of Varla Jean Merman. I think we saw her in P’town one summer…but only in drag.

And here’s an article about her without drag.

The sassy drag performer — who starred in 2003’s Girls Will Be Girls, the off-Broadway musical Lucky Guy, and, very briefly, as “Rosemary Chicken” on the soap opera All My Children — turns out to be one super-hot daddy underneath all those bangles, beads, pancake, and taffeta.

I wasn’t sure how to headline this one because I think a lot of us get annoyed sometimes by these Vine and YouTube people. Just in a general sense, not in a specific sense. In the same respect, I do find it interesting that they even get this kind of attention at all. Evidently, they’re doing something right because people are following them.

Earlier this month, YouTuber Jack Merridew posted a video in which he showed off his slutty barely-there Halloween costume possibilities and asked his mom for advice. Some people were amused, a few were probably turned on, but a whole lot of people (including some of you reading this now) tore into the young vlogger, berating him for being too thin and for…wait for it… perpetuating negative gay stereotypes. Well, Jack heard you and has posted a video response.

“All the hate on this Halloween costume video came from gay men, and it was weird,” Merridew said. “Come on, gay men. We’re supposed to be brothers. We’re a big fucking family. And you can’t choose your family, so I’m that brother that you want to get rid of, but you know what? You’re fucking stuck with me.”

I didn’t see it. And even if I had I rarely comment on things like this because I understand there is a great deal of diversity within the gay community, especially with gay men. And frankly, I think the gay men who were never as flamboyant as those who were flamboyant, are now finding their own voices and they are speaking up, too. Their frustration is coming out like “hate.” It often sounds aggressive and way too blunt. However, one of the things I hear most from gay men who would never post a video like Merridew’s is that they are tired of the world thinking all gay men are this way. Unfortunately, again, it comes out as hate.

Even though I do “get” why some gay men would find Merridew irritating, annoying, and a bad stereotype, I always side with tolerance and we really do need to think a lot more about that. He’s just a kid. A smart kid. But still a kid.

Author of over 100 published LGBT romance novels and stories, including AN OFFICER AND HIS GENTLEMAN and best selling VIRGIN BILLIONAIRE SERIES. Hates beets.
New Hope, PA Palm Springs, CA
ryan-field.blogspot.com