ICYMI, here's a quick recap: Kylie Jenner’s bestie (and lip kit inspiration) Jordyn Woods ended up at Tristan Thompson’s house after a night out on February 17 … and she didn’t leave until the next morning.

Not only did this show captivate us because of Smith’s soothing voice, it was also fairly shocking how many bombs were dropped (or not dropped) during the episode itself.

While much of the office stealthily watched it (a few times) at our desks and shared the most surprising bits with each other in real time, since not everyone has been able to carve out the 30 minutes to watch the show (yet!), here are the most surprising things that were revealed.

“He didn’t even personally invite me there,” Woods said. “When it comes to the phones being taken away, I have no clue who told them to take away the phone, anything. All I know is that I had my own.”

Jordyn did not give him a lap dance.

“Never once was I giving him a lap dance, making out with him, sitting all over him. Never once did we leave the public area, go to a bedroom, go to a bathroom, we’re all in plain sight.”

Then later in the interview she repeated it: “There was always somebody there while I was there…. Even up until the moment that I left, there were people there.”

...But that doesn’t mean she didn’t look “cozy” with him.

TBH, Jordyn’s description of where Tristan’s legs were and where her legs were seemed like it needed a blueprint but essentially she explained, “He’s sitting in this chair, and there’s the arm of the chair that goes up about here [gestures] and I’m sitting on the arm of the chair.”

OK, following along so far as she added “There’s no way it would look like a lap dance but I could see why people would say ‘oh they’re getting cozy.’”

“My legs were laying right over his,” Woods said. “My butt was never sitting on him, but my legs were dangling down so I picked them up and I put them over … onto the bottom of his legs.”

She was not drunk.

While, a few days ago Jordyn Woods was rumored to be blackout drunk, she now admitted “I never was belligerently drunk to where I can’t remember what happened… I was never blacked out ... I was not tipsy, I was drunk but I was not beyond the point of recollection.”

And, while that makes sense, her comments on not blaming him because of alcohol do seem a bit troubling: “I don’t think he’s wrong either because I allowed myself to be in that position. And when alcohol’s involved, people make, you know, dumb moves or get caught up in the moment.”

And along those lines…

He kissed her.

Finally, at about the 13-minute mark, juicy details started coming out. “On the way out, he did kiss me. No passion, no nothing. On the way out … it was like a kiss on the lips but no tongue kiss, no making out, nothing."

She admitted (now) that she should not have been there.

“That’s my first step where I went wrong. And how I would feel if someone close to me is hanging at my ex’s house or the father of my child, I didn’t think about that.”

She lied to protect Khloe.

“I knew how much turmoil was going on … I was like let me not just throw more fuel on the fire. I know I was trying to protect Khloe’s heart, she doesn’t deserve this either.”

“I’m no homewrecker. I would never try to hurt someone’s home, especially someone that I love and someone who has a beautiful daughter. I never would try to steal someone’s man, I don’t need your situation. I really just hurt so many more people by not telling the truth … When I was asked about what happened that night, I didn’t tell the truth to the people I loved. Not because of malicious intent but because I was just scared.”

She “knows” she is not the reason Khloe and Tristan are no longer together.

She has spoken to Khloe since it happened.

“I have spoken a little bit with [Khloe] and I let her know that I’m willing to do what it takes for her peace of mind. Not for my image, not for my career … this is now for your peace of mind so you know that there’s no malicious intent.”

It’s not clear who exactly she’s referring to by her next statement but really it could be anyone in the family who’s commented publicly on the incident. Woods said, “You could have called … or texted me a mean text but I guess if everything is social now and that’s how people handle things." (Hmm, like giving an interview to a show airing on social media.)

Jordyn offered (twice) to take a lie detector test.

During the half-hour chat, she twice volunteered to take a polygraph test. “Attach me to a lie detector whatever it is, I need people to know the truth and more importantly I need the people involved to know the truth. Just to clarify, there has been no communication with Tristan, no relationship over time … there’s been no relationship, no communication, no plans on meeting up, no conversation, nothing.”

Later she said something similar adding, “I’m not asking people to like me. I’m not asking for you to forgive me overnight. I’m just asking for you to hear me and to feel me.”

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