When it comes to diners’ dietary demands, how much is too much?

Earlier this summer, a diner at Healdsburg four-star Cyrus sat down and handed this card (pictured) to a server to deliver to the kitchen.

No nuts, no nut oil, no wheat, no chocolate, no cow’s dairy products. The consequence? “Life threatening reaction.”

As chef-owner Douglas Keane tells it, he was left in a quandary. First of all, he had not prepped anything along these lines, since the reservation was made online that afternoon.

More importantly, he was afraid of hurting (or killing) the diner, who was very nice, according to servers. Cyrus accommodated the request, but it wasn’t easy.

“If you read the fine print about wiping down utensils and surfaces it is frightening. But as a chef you want to make people happy as your natural instinct,” Keane notes, adding that he was worried about hurting the guest the whole time cooking for her, which took away from the attention to other diners.

It’s a slippery slope, and a question being asked by many chefs today, especially those offering more ambitious, composed tasting menus: As Keane tweeted: Is it worth it, for both the restaurant and the guest?

Nearly every chef will tell you, in all sincerity, that their priority is making guests happy. But on the other hand, if they make a mistake, and a diner gets hurt (or god forbid, dead) … well, that’s not good at all. So how much is too much?

At Cyrus, since Day One, the menu and website ask diners to personally email Keane with special dietary requests so the dishes can equal the integrity of the other dishes. David Chang pretty much says no to vegetarian, pescatarian and gluten-free requests. It’s a tricky subject, and one that seems to be growing in frequency, according to many chefs.

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On a recent weekend night at Commis in Oakland, James Syhabout had a whopping nine tables with special dietary restrictions. There are only 30 seats in the entire restaurant.

Syhabout says it’s a Catch-22, and in many cases, it’s a losing proposition for all involved, especially other diners. Like most chefs, he’s often happy to accommodate (within reason, with notice), but says the special requests seem to be far more prominent here than on the East Coast and especially abroad, where it’s nearly non-existent.

But the fake allergies are what drive chefs up the wall. One night, Syhabout had a diner who requested a gluten-free menu. And of course, there was the diner pigging out on the Commis (gluten-filled) bread prior to the meal.

Ask any chef and they’ll regale you with stories of diners making up allergies. Most chefs would just prefer guests say they don’t like Ingredient X, instead of pretending to be allergic to tomatoes and peppers in the middle of a summer tasting menu.

“At the end of the day I’m saddened, because in some situations, no one wins,” Syhabout says. “The chef is putting out a dish on the fly to accommodate the diner, which takes his time away from the rest of the guests, and the special guest doesn’t get a fully realized dish.”

He continues: “It’s a touchy subject, because I’m also running a business, and we try to accommodate everyone. But what makes people happy is experiencing the restaurant in full.”

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So there are dietary requirements. There are also voluntary dietary choices. Then there are the forehead-slappers.

Here is an email sent to a prominent Bay Area restaurant offering a tasting menu:

Hello,

My husband and I along with 3 other couples will be visiting your restaurant on Monday evening. We were sent your menu and I noticed that you asked for special dietary requests in advance.

My husband and I follow the Candida Diet way of eating…if you aren’t familiar with that we can basically eat nothing…! 🙂

No sugar, very low or no carbs, no wheat/gluten, no dairy, no vinegar or alcohol and mostly only green vegetables (tomatoes and red peppers are OK too) – and only grapefruit, lemon/lime, green apples, some cantaloupe and strawberries for fruit…all meat, fish, shell fish and poultry are fine as long as they are fresh and plain; not marinated and no butter. We don’t eat anything from a can or anything that might have additives or preservatives; that includes any and all ingredients used to prepare anything.

Olive oil and spices are fine and I use a lot of olive and coconut oil when I prepare our meals – we are allowed as much fat as we want to eat including untrimmed meats – portions are not sized or controlled and my husband has lost 70 lbs. since mid-February without really even trying – although weight loss is a benefit the main purpose is for health reasons. It is a truly amazing transition. But if you “cheat” and mix things in you shouldn’t have it totally defeats the purpose and won’t help at all and excess weight won’t disappear.

We are going to be enjoying the wines while in [redacted], that being the only part we are going off for a few days so we still have to be aware of what we are eating and the way it is prepared.

So for us, it is something plain and steamed vegetables….I am curious to see what you would come up with – always looking for new recipes – you can imagine how exciting it is to have something “new and different” when you eat like this!

…

Thank you very much.

But that’s not even the worst part. In this scenario, the restaurant called the diners (who, it should also be noted, apparently had no problem cheating on their diet to do some boozing), chatted with them, researched the diet, and wrote a special menu for them, even buying “a few special things.” After doing all the prep work, the restaurant then got a call at 3:30pm on the same day. The diners cancelled.