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I know that I have not been posting on here as much as I did last year, so I wanted to share some of my thoughts with you on how becoming an atheist has truly had a positive impact on my life.

When I first came to this forum last summer, I was in crisis. Due to my deconversion, I found myself in the middle of a deep depression where I would drag myself through my day, and I had such a hard time getting much sleep. You guys were here for me. The members of my (former) megachurch had convinced me that life away from Christ was desolate, empty agony. I even believed at one point that I would rather die than give up God. However, upon conversing with some of you, I realized that it was possible to live a fulfilling life without any kind of god at the center of it.

Today, I am a much healthier person, physically and psychologically. I lost 10 lbs (yay!) because I was able to stop abusing my body from eating too much junk food (as a Christian I had thought that only the afterlife truly matters). I was able to deal with my depression and anxiety (runs in my family, and was triggered by childhood abuse that I suffered) without any medication anymore by taking control of my own life. No longer did I have to deal with the intense pressures and worries of trying to fit into the mold of "God's plan" or "God's will," so I was able to just be myself and figure out how to be comfortable in my own skin. I realized that although I love taking care of my husband and son at home, that I did not have to limit myself just because I am female, so I went back to school.

In retrospect, I realize how much Christianity truly hurt me throughout my childhood and early adulthood. It limits your potential to grow emotionally, intellectually and socially as a human being due to its prejudices and traditions. Atheism did not turn me into a devil-worshipping, baby-eating witch. Honestly, I have more mental clarity as an atheist than I ever did as a Christian.

I think the world would be a much more loving and fair place if there were less Christians in it. Although I have reached a point where I am not angry at Christians or threatened by them unless they get in my face, I do think that, ironically, the words of Jesus actually apply to them: "they know not what they do." A Christian has to cherry-pick Bible verses and be (at least somewhat willfully) ignorant of ones that do not make sense in the real world. That being said, I do generally have compassion for them (unless they pick a fight or do something outrageous or unfair) because they are like fearful children clinging to their belief in Santa Claus. I do not say that in spite, because I feel a great sense of peace regarding my deconversion, and my bitterness toward Christians has faded. I will, however, express my disgust for that fictional character called "God," and anyone who does terrible things in his name.