Julian Cope recorded a great little song called "Doomed," on the hysterically funny Skellington album. To a singsongy cheapo organ riff, he sings:"I'm doomed.I'm doomed.I'm doomed to lie in this hospital bedWith visions of sugar plums in my headI'm doomed."So I'm doomed to be miserable and lonely and insane and a pain in the ass to everyone I know and a failure at most everything I try - and there's got to be something hilarious about that, I swear.So who's buying my drinks tonight?posted by J C N at 8:12 PM

So who's buying my drinks tonight?

It appears clearer that each step I make toward more connections will separate me further, widen the distance between myself and other humans. Each attempt I make to become normal makes me more of a freak. Each outstretched hand is an invitation to be slapped - but that's not the fault of the one doing the slapping: it's only a natural reflex. My disgust at viewing myself is only matched by my confusion at a world I am utterly unable to comprehend, reshape, or find a place in.posted by J C N at 6:24 PM

Tuesday, November 21, 2000

Since I take an interest in web pages and Internet technology, and am prone to discuss it; but I know comparatively little about it; it has been determined that I am a GEEK SAVANT.posted by J C N at 11:03 AM

Friday, November 17, 2000

...a cloak you wear,A deep shade of blue that is always there...posted by J C N at 10:11 PM

Thursday, November 16, 2000

disappearing, bit by bit.... silence beckons.... Time speeds by, stops only long enough to snidely laugh and sneer.posted by J C N at 9:54 PM

Strange dream last night... all I'll say here is that it had something to do with an erotic charge of spirituality taking pains to portray itself as a sham. Hmmm, sounds like someone I know.....posted by J C N at 11:46 AM

Friday, November 10, 2000

Such an American consumerist sap. Owning my own domain name just feels so much more, y'know, real.posted by J C N at 5:53 PM

Thursday, November 09, 2000

Anyone who believes in progress in urban planning must visit The Fabulous Ruins of Detroit. It's a fantastic travelogue through the mythology of economic splendor and its real-life residue. The main difference where I come from (L.A.) is that they don't wait to demolish anything - if someone can make a dime building something new, they will.posted by J C N at 4:11 PM

Wednesday, November 08, 2000

Doing my best to avoid election coverage. Trying to avoid the hope that comes from knowing that the only person in Florida with whom I have any contact at all is solidly anti-Bush. I'd like to say that if 50% of the people in this country are stupid enough to want Bush than they deserve him, but, of course, they take me down with them. Gawd bless Ammurickkka.posted by J C N at 12:54 PM

1. How personal to make one's work? Does it matter to anybody (or, more importantly, to the quality of the work itself) if there are personal references - or does it detract? What good (or bad) is it for me to sing "Never never ever gonna get any better"?

This begs the next question:2. Am I truly shouting in a vacuum? What does (or should) it mean that I am as sure of my talent as I am of my inability to make anything of it within my lifetime? For some time it hasn't worked to fall on the old idea of "just doing the work without worrying about the possibility of success" - the work itself is (and has to be) ABOUT the social contexts of imagined rewards or punishments, successes or failures, expectations or windfalls: artistic, commercial, social, political, financial.....

3. Does the concept of "owing it to your talent to make it" make any sense? Maybe my talent owes me and not the other way around.....posted by J C N at 3:34 PM

Saturday, November 04, 2000

Efff teee peeee......Is like a mystery to meeeee.....posted by J C N at 11:27 PM

Friday, November 03, 2000

So how do they get "blog" as a diminutive of "weblog"? I mean, we don't pronounce it "wee-blogg," do we?posted by J C N at 12:14 PM

Thursday, November 02, 2000

do I post a change?posted by J C N at 4:12 PM

OK, so today it's working.... tomorrrow, who knows? Hey kids, get it while you can!!!posted by J C N at 3:20 PM