To have kicked them out?

Friend has gone on holiday for the first time without her 14 and 16 year old dd's, they didn't want to be left home alone overnight so we agreed they could stay here. We were told that they would be no bother, would be out with friends or in their own house all day and we didn't need to provide meals as they had money to get their own (though we said we didn't mind giving them food), basically we were just giving them a bed in our house to sleep in.

They got here Saturday evening and are sharing dd2's room who was away but back tonight and was planning on sharing with DD1 for the rest of the week. They had trashed her room within an few hours of getting here, gone through all of her stuff, chucked her clothes onto the floor and just made a mess. We had to take out all of dd's private/precious stuff out of the room so they couldn't go through it or destroy it anymore. DD has an en suite, I told them to keep and use their makeup in there as the bedroom has white walls and a white carpet. I looked last night and both their makeup bags were on the white carpet surrounded by loads of makeup stains and there's also what I hope is makeup smeared down the wall. The bathroom and bedroom are just an absolute mess.

They didn't got out at all Sunday or Monday day and just stayed in dds room watching TV, they've helped themselves to food and refused any of the meals I've offered to cook them and have just ordered themselves takeaways to eat in dd's bedroom even though I asked them to eat it downstairs. Whenever I have tried to talk to them they've been blunt and rude, when my kids have tried to speak to them they have been rude to them, they swore at my 4 year old because he was annoying them. When physically fighting with each other in front of 3 year they accidentally pushed her over onto the bench and cut her lip.

They went out last night and came back at 11pm with alcohol and several friends , who we didn't let. It would take to long to list all the things they've done wrong but they've just been a nightmare. So when they got up today at half two I told them to go home, they started to apologise but quickly started getting really angry and stormed out without most of their stuff. I'm not planning on letting them back in here but friend has said to please let them back, that I can't take back my offer and leave them home alone.

I'm not being unreasonable to have kicked them out, am I?They're not small kids and will hopefully fine, although they probably will trash friends house which I do feel bad about.

At 14 and 16 and being deemed "responsible" enough to stay home alone - of course YANBU. It's disgusting behaviour and I hope their mother is ashamed. They disrespected your kindness and your home. I'd be mad.

I was all ready to storm in and say you're over reacting and they're just teenagers have some patience but MY GOD they sound awful! ! I wonder if they behave like that at home? I'd be mortified if my teenagers behaved like that in my home let alone someone else's!

This is difficult! You are definitely not unreasonable to ask them to leave (their behaviour has been appalling) but equally the youngest at 14 probably shouldn’t be left and you agreed to have a duty of care to her. Could you look after them/pop in on them in their own home so that they can trash that instead? And where is their mum- could you ask her to come home if she doesn’t want them to be left alone?

Your “friend” shouldn’t have left her daughters alone. They are her responsibility, not yours.

They sound awful, you are right to kick them out as they have shown zero respect for you and your property. Their behaviour is appalling. Your friend should find another solution for them, or curtail her holiday.

You can always point out to your friend that you haven’t taken back your offer. They didn’t meet their end of the agreement. I agree it’s up to your friend to come home and deal with them. The first time they “trashed” your daughters room they would have been on their last warning.

Did your friend arrange this trip, then try to sort the kids or did you offer to have the kids before you book? I think if she booked on the strength of you having the kids it's difficult. Nspcc says kids "children under 16 shouldn’t be left alone overnight". I'd therefore pirentially have the 14yr old only and make her tow your line. I'd also send the mother a cleaning/replacement bill for all damage.

I’d make sure you had those photos close to hand for when your friend inevitably tries to tell you that their behaviour was “just how teenagers get on”- she will definitely be given a very sanitised version by the Tasmanian devils she has for daughters.