Sunday, July 26, 2009

The nurses are busy cleaning, and bathing you up, just beside me. That's makes me forget the pain of what the other nurse was doing down there (jahit yang telah terkoyak..;P). You are such a beautiful baby.. :'). Started to miss the moments.

Then, both of us back to the ward, its around 5am. I tot i can have good sleep, after having those pushing thing..But, u keep crying, I guess u wanna milk, so i tryto breastfeed you but, my first attemp was failed!!!! I keep on, but, it always failed.

Not until 6 hours later, around 10am, then u have ur first milk from me. Alhamdulillah. I feel so released and i haven't slept yet. It was so tiring. And, at the same time, we have our first eye contact. U r looking straight into my eyes, and i really can't believe it!!!! I am so touched and so happy!!! U look at me deep in my eyes, showing that u wanna know me. :)

So I went to the hospital with ayah. Bener, ternyata i have leaking. Udah 2 hari. So the doctor said its not good. Since i don't have the sign to give birth (contraction), they got to induce me the next morning, at 6 am. So, they warded me at 4 pm, on the 14th April.

So, i got to be prepared to be induce. They told me its more painful than a normal birth since itu harus dipaksa. But, i got to, so that Zara is safe. ;)

WOW! What kind of painful is this???? Ya Allah, is so so so painful. My back feel so much pain! Its millions millions of period pain if i can explain it..But so much pain until I really can't bear it. I called the nurse.The nurse called the dr. Yes, 3cm. So the doctor send me down tothe labour room.

Here comes the screaming part. All the energy i've saved to be burn all here in the labour room. I called ur dad to come into the room. And he came when i already starting to scream and push! ;) [oh, how i miss that moment!]. Your dad is just beside me to support me.

I push~push~and push. No sign of you going to pop out soon. The nurse telling me that the way i push is wrong, so theyteach me. With only 3 times of applying what they have teached me, u came out!

Luckily u came out, coz i already feel so tired to just let the nurse take you out using any kind of method coz i can't afford to push anymore. Alhamdulillah. Zara keluar. Bener, i don't feel that you were so near to meet me and ayah until i have to give up. ;)

Even thou sakit dijahit and everything and tired or whatever, i was so released and so happy to see you beside me. ;)

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WELCOME to the world sayang. Here, ayah and bunda are always be with you.

Then we have done every month checkup, at so many hospital in Jakarta. Actually we were surveying a good hospital and doctor to stick on but unfortunately, there's none of it. We've been to 4 good Hospitals. Ga ada yang sebagus Dr. Zuraimi. Even di Hospital yang ramei! Dan, masyaAllah, mahalnya mintak ampun. :) Anyway, we are enjoying the survey thingy. Dan akhirnya kami memutuskan untuk melahirkan zara di Malaysia, Hospital Putrajaya.

ayah dan bunda diijabkabulkan. I felt so happy, of marrying some one i really wish of. Not until I was off to Jakarta, following ayah to start our new life as a married couple. I felt so sad of leaving mak and ayah (nenek), sampei2 bunda nampak kereta Chevrolet Spark (it was nenek's car at that time) di Jakarta bunda nangis. :') Anyway, cut the story short. So we both live in Jakarta, and we've been gone thru so many laughed and tears. Time goes by...Sudah 3 bulan kami menikah...kok masih belum hamil ya? We've waited patiently, not til every month i bought the test pack to check whether i got pregnant or not. But always no happy news for us and everyone. I started to get frustrated. Started to cry. :')

By June, (for what i remember), ayah got his new job, better offer from where he worked before. He moved to his new office and we were happy. Not long after that, we have our new house ready, its the one in Jln. Timbul. Seperti bulan2 sebelumnya, bunda akan beli test pack. Ya Allah! Menakah tok?

People sometimes pressure us but, always be patient. If we cannot have it now, maybe tomorrow. Allah knows better, and let Him do whatever the best for us.

I have you at the right time. We will have something in our life at our right time. Not too worry so much on what He's planning for us. Just go and find the effort then pray for it. InsyaAllah, u'll get it on the right time.

Anyway, I guess its not too late for me to write something for u sayang. Something we'll treasure after. Something that I will read when I am all alone. Something that I read when i miss u later. ;) Gosh, zara baru jak lahir 3 bulan, awal-awal dah kamek mikirnya akan jauh dari kamek kelak. But i realize, time goes so fast! Very fast. Tutup mata buka mata tiap hari, we will get to the end of our life. Or, she'll be a grown up girl with beautiful eyes! yeah. So better kinek tok lah kamek tulis untuk kenang-kenangan hingga ke cucu-cicit.

This is just the beginning of ur life, sayang. You still have very long way to go. I hope and pray, that you'll be a good daughter to bunda and ayah, a good muslimah, and grow up well. I hope we got something from what we have gone thru together, and i wanted to tell you, I love You So much. More than words can say. Hanya Allah yang Maha Mengetahui.

As a mother of a daughter named Zara,and a son named Satrio, a wife to a handsome man from Indonesia named Niko and as a friend to everyone I know, here, in this blog, I would like to share my joy, my experience, and my knowledge that I hope will InsyaAllah, can gives benefits to everyone of us. At least, to smile. ;)