Kellen Winslow Says He Was Just Smoking Funky Monkey Not Masturbating

“Kellen pulled over to a parking lot to smoke what he thought at the the time was a legal substance,” the statement read. “He changed his clothes in his vehicle as to not smell like smoke when he returned home. There was absolutely nothing inappropriate that took place and if there was police would have investigated further and charged Kellen which they did not. This will be the only time we will comment on this unfounded and ridiculous claim.”

Police noticed eight packages of “Mr. Happy”, five bottles of “Funky Monkey” and one empty plastic bag of K2 XXX — all synthetic forms of marijuana.

“(Winslow) stated that he smokes the ‘legal’ synthetic marijuana to help him relax,” the police report said. “He stated that he purchases the items via the Internet and local gas stations. He added that the NFL does not test for synthetic marijuana.”