How do INTJ's behave?

How do INTJ's behave? I'm starting to doubt that I am one, and I was just wondering.

I think about that whole principle, "it's the behavior not the person," but I always thought that the behavior reflected the person (most of the time). I don't understand. Do personality types even behave in a certain way? Sometimes I think my behaviors aren't indicative of my preferences among the four dichotomies.

How do INTJ's behave? I'm starting to doubt that I am one, and I was just wondering.

That's a very broad question, but I'll try to answer it.

From what I can tell, INTJ's come up with interesting systems and ideas that they're very confident in. They can be very passionate about these systems, and sometimes even extend some of that towards other people who try to understand and listen to them, depending on whether their Fi is developed.

However, they seem to have a tendency to not be as concerned with maintaining a system's integrity/consistency as they are with coming up with a way to make it work for their particular goal.

Also, they tend to respect competence, and not authority for it's own sake. However, I think they will usually at least pretend to give in to authority they don't respect if that's easiest way for them to reach their goal in the long run. Basically, they're goal-oriented like all TJ's, and they're also infused with the visionary/future-oriented Ni.

The 2 INTJs that I know IRL are very opinionated. Once they have made up their minds about something, they are hard (or impossible) to dissuade. They develop complex plans and insist that everyone around them adhere to their plans and get extremely frustrated or angry when someone wants to go off in their own direction. In these situations they are both bullies.

I mean this as no sort of derision; just sometimes seeing the extreme of a type is helpful.

Socially, for example. Are INTJ's almost always detached and cool, whether they're hanging out with a friend or at a party? Do they lack empathy?

No. There really aren't any absolutes. I've had friends that only saw me when I was around friends and were surprised when they found out I was an I. And even if we didn't have empathy we could still probably fake it well enough.

"You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

From what I can tell, INTJ's come up with interesting systems and ideas that they're very confident in. They can be very passionate about these systems, and sometimes even extend some of that towards other people who try to understand and listen to them, depending on whether their Fi is developed.

However, they seem to have a tendency to not be as concerned with maintaining a system's integrity/consistency as they are with coming up with a way to make it work for their particular goal.

Also, they tend to respect competence, and not authority for it's own sake. However, I think they will usually at least pretend to give in to authority they don't respect if that's easiest way for them to reach their goal in the long run. Basically, they're goal-oriented like all TJ's, and they're also infused with the visionary/future-oriented Ni.

Socially, for example. Are INTJ's almost always detached and cool, whether they're hanging out with a friend or at a party? Do they lack empathy?

I would say that they usually try to come off as detached and cool, but they don't really lack empathy. They just have harder time expressing their Fi.

The best way I can think of to describe INTJ's emotions is that they're idiosyncratic. Their emotions come out in unusual, highly personal quirks rather than in ways you would typically expect (this is actually true of many IxTx's from what I can tell). Also, I think they're much more "cold" in more public/official situations or around a stranger than they are around a close friend one-on-one. Some of them learn to display emotion even though it's unnatural, but will retreat to their more cold, blunt manner if they feel placed on the defensive.

Socially, for example. Are INTJ's almost always detached and cool, whether they're hanging out with a friend or at a party? Do they lack empathy?

Most I types appear that way, especially if they are highly introverted. I come across and very detached and cool to a lot of people. People often think I'm a snob, when really it's just that I'm very introverted, especially with unfamiliar people or situations. When I'm in a comfortable spot, though, I can be very animated. But then I have days when I'm pretty withdrawn even in my comfort zone.

As for empathy, I have it, but I find it hard to express. I never know what to say, and so often I say nothing, which makes it seem like I'm uncaring.