How to celebrate our Independence

Now I rarely plan a day fully, but since this is my favorite holiday of the year, I have an agenda set that Iâ€™d like to share with you. I encourage you to follow this as close as possible, and I guarantee that you will have a magical and wonderful Independence Day!

9:17 am â€“ Wake up, probably feeling a slight bit hung over from the previous nightâ€™s shenanigans. Recite the Pledge of Allegiance loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear.

9:20 am â€“ Take a nice cold shower, listening to Lee Greenwoods Greatest Hits, which I made myself, which is just â€œGod Bless the USAâ€ on repeat. Immediately iron American Flag print polo, navy shorts when I get out of shower.

10:00 am â€“ Head to the convenience store to get beer. Stand in beer section pondering the purchase of either Budweiser or Busch. No â€œliteâ€ products will be considered on this day. Decide to get a case of each. Call woman in store a Communist for purchasing Smirnoff Ice. [Keep reading]

Ah, I love it when a plan comes together. Have a happy 4th of July weekend everybody. Enjoy the fireworks, enjoy the bbq’s, enjoy the Live 8, and enjoy the Best Week Ever-tonight at 11 and all weekend long (when VH1 is re-re-replaying Live 8 for the 32nd time, that is.) Have a good one.