Johnny Sugar, who once wrote a guest post for us titled “Where Al Jean Went Wrong”, has made it to what passes for the big time if you’re a blogger, Uproxx. There, he’s been the driving force behind their expanded number of Simpsons posts (you know, the ones that keep showing up in Reading Digest). On Sunday, he put up another one:

It’s a rundown of things which will be sadly familiar. In order, they are:

He’s More Of A Jerk

Zany Homer Is Now The Norm

There Are Way Fewer Consequences for His Actions Now

He’s Good At Everything Now

Shortly after the article was published, Al Jean took to Twitter to belittle it:

“Article how Homer is “now” w eps from seasons 9,11.12.15. All 10+ years old. Is Homer the researcher?”

Jean is, of course, correct. All of the examples are from episodes that are now themselves more than a decade old. But his implication, that these traits are not present in more “now” episodes, is demonstrably incorrect. Here are examples of each from just the last three seasons:

He’s More of a Jerk:

Season 24 – “Moonshine River” – The family goes back to New York City (Bart is investigating his many, many past loves). Homer doesn’t do well in the “not being a jerk” department:

Season 24 – “A Test Before Trying” – Homer scams the entire town with a broken parking meter:

Zany Homer Is Now the Norm:

Season 25 – “The Winter of His Content” – Homer becomes a zany old person:

Season 26 – “Bart’s New Friend” – Having done him as an old person, they went the other way and had Homer spend an entire episode thinking he’s 10-years-old. Here he is playing tag with children on the school playground:

Season 25 – “Steal This Episode” – Homer opens a bootleg movie theater, gets arrested, breaks out of prison, hides in an embassy, then goes on trial, all in one episode:

This is the lame Fugitive scene, and, yes, they did it a million times better back in Season 7.

Season 24 – “The Day the Earth Stood Cool” – Homer changes his whole life around and becomes a hipster, so it’s zany, but in an ironically un-ironic way:

There Are Way Fewer Consequences for His Actions Now:

Season 24 – “Homer Goes to Prep School” – Homer gets obsessed with the apocalypse, becomes a doomsday prepper, then releases an “EMP” that wipes out the town, whereupon the Simpsons flee, only to return and find out that everything is fine:

In this scene, Marge and the kids think Springfield has just been destroyed. Of course, it wasn’t.

Season 26 – “Waiting for Duffman” – Homer becomes Duffman, feels bad about being a corporate shill, then everything goes back to normal. The picture speaks for itself:

Season 26 – “The Wreck of the Relationship” – Homer and Bart go on a father son cruise where Homer repeatedly falls overboard to no noticeable effect:

He’s Good At Everything Now:

Season 26 – “Covercraft” – Homer picks up guitar, gets immediately good, and ends up replacing a real band on stage in a stadium:

Season 26 – “The Musk Who Fell to Earth” – Homer goes into successful business with Elon fucking Musk of all people. They basically destroy society, but it all gets wrapped up before the credits:

Season 25 – “Labor Pains” – Homer delivers a baby in an elevator and becomes a great father to the kid:

Season 25 – “You Don’t Have to Live Like a Referee” – Homer becomes a frickin’ World Cup referee:

Season 24 – “Pulpit Fiction” – Homer becomes a hugely popular deacon at the church:

They are still capable of a good sign gag on occasions. Don’t say I never write anything nice.

I could cite a lot more examples, or keep going through Seasons 23, 22, etcetera, but the record is pretty clear. And lots of these episodes could easily fit into more than one category. When Homer delivers that woman’s baby and starts being a super parent to the kid, he neglects his own family and almost gets Maggie eaten by zoo animals (seriously), that’d certainly qualify him as a jerk in addition to being instantly good at something he’s always been terrible at. Or when he goes into business with Elon Musk, they wreck society, but there’s no real consequences or fallout and everything gets wrapped up quickly.

The problems that Homer developed as the show slid into senility and Zombie Simpsons haven’t gone away. They haven’t even changed much. Any way you slice it, old examples or new, Homer’s been a successful, zany, consequence free jackass for fifteen years running. And if FOX decides to exercise that option of theirs and take the show through Season 30-31, he’s going to keep being the same jerkass he’s been since Season 10 or so.

Despite Bryan Loren, a singer-songwriter known for his work with Whitney Houston and Barry White, being long credited for penning the 1990 track, rumors of Jackson’s involvement have run rampant for years. Many were fueled by confusing statements given by the show’s own creator Matt Groening, who reportedly told fans some time ago that “It was always amazing to me that no one ever found out that Michael Jackson wrote that song.” There was also a well-circulated theory that Jackson couldn’t officially be attached to the track because of label conflicts.

Loren finally set the record straight this week shortly after the publishing and songwriting rights for “Do the Bartman” were sold off. “The story of the song and its creation has been a thorn in my side since I did it,” he told Music Business Worldwide, adding, “But, despite Matt Groening’s repeated confessions, I am the sole writer of the song.” The song was valued at nearly ,000 and came packaged as part of a larger collection of Loren compositions.

The King of Pop may not have been the main brain behind “Do the Bartman”, but Loren acknowledged that the “Thriller” singer certainly played a part in its creation, saying that “along with me, Michael Jackson does sing backing vocals. And it WAS his idea to call the song, DTB. AND, he did insist I include his name in the lyric.”

Jackson or not, the pop-rap song, which was released on the The Simpsons Sing the Blues album, struck a chord with ’90s listeners — especially overseas, climbing the charts in the UK, Australia, and Ireland. Although it was never officially issued in the US, the track received heavy airplay and its video was nominated for an MTV VMA in 1991.

In a refreshingly frank video released today in conjunction with Olie, jewelry designer Sarah Jane Adams confounds the usual language surrounding menopause. “Menopause for me, has been very liberating, it’s not something I was ashamed or embarrassed about,” says Adams, speaking while simultaneously striping away her layers of clothing. [click to continue…]

Guillermo Del Toro wants to get involved with The Simpsons Again. His Treehouse of Horror cold open a few seasons ago was special as both a tribute to his body of work and to horror/sci fi from across history. It was glorious mixture of things a lot of people love and Del Toro would be welcome to do it any time he wanted in the future. Too bad he doesn’t want that this time.

According to Del Toro, he never gets a straight answer out of Groening. But after Groening heard the horror director (who hails from Mexico) say Bumblebee Man’s signature “Ay, no me gusta” line, it’s hard to imagine him not getting the gig.

Del Toro also provided a nice word of praise to Homer Simpson’s talents in the bed room, a blessing in disguise for the bigger men of the world (and those with delusions of grandeur):

"i want to thank you on behalf of all the fat men in the world for making Homer good in bed." — Guillermo del Toro LOL! #SDCC#simpsons

Two different clips — which will be made available online closer to the episode’s airing, according to Fox — were shown: One featured Homerzilla, which is exactly what it sounds like (Homer + Godzilla), and another involved Sideshow Bob and Bart.

As previously reported, this year’s Treehouse of Horror episode will see Sideshow Bob finally kill Bart Simpson, and in the clip he gets his wish more than once. Bart’s beaten, attacked by a lion and, in one moment, flattened, turned into a paper airplane, launched into a moving fan that cuts him into pieces, and those pieces are burned. Classic.

Good ol’ Sideshow Bob, cutting kids into pieces and feeding them to lions. Good times.