The Money Mistake That Puts Your Relationship at Risk

How you spend might be screwing with your bond

If you’ve ever lied to your partner about how much you really spent on that designer handbag, you might be putting your relationship on the line. Fifteen percent of people lie to their partners about credit card purchases, and one in 10 said that it’s played a part in a past breakup, according to a new survey conducted by the British site MoneySupermarket.com.

So why are we hiding our plastic habits? More than a third of people said they lied because they knew their S.O.s would get angry, while others just had a feeling that their partners would disapprove. Sounds innocent enough, but these little financial fibs can lead to a split.

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“Trust is the number one essential ingredient in a relationship,” says relationship expert Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., author of Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship. “And that trust can be broken through lying or big omissions.” While this is especially true for long-term couples, it’s also a good tip for new pairs since being financially compatible is surprisingly important. Sure, you can downplay your expensive haircuts, but if you edit or omit information on a regular basis, you’re not giving your partner a realistic portrayal of how you handle money, says Orbuch.

That doesn’t mean it’s necessary to get your partner’s blessing every time you swipe your credit card (in fact, that may breed animosity). Instead, Orbuch suggests coming up with a threshold amount—whether it’s $100 or $1000—that either of you can spend without having to consult with the other person.

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