"Friends in Low Places"

"Friends With Sad Faces"

The Lyrics

I showed up in shorts,Tonight I had sports,But then I got sent to the dean.I said to his face, "You should give us a break,Outside the temp's 83.Your dress code's a joke, It makes us all croak,It was drafted in 1904!Now, just wait 'til tomorrow when we drive home our point,The girls will look like whores!"

Now I've got friends with sad facesAnd my coach is asking "What in the blazesDid you say to the dean?Now you've let down the team!"I said, "I'm not much for demonstrations,But the dress code is an abomination!So tomorrow you'll seeSome really red faces!"

"Well, I guess I was wrong,"I said to my mom,"For smarting off to the dean,But I was telling the truth,Tomorrow at schoolThe girls won't be wearing jeans.And you'll see the surprise And the lust in his eyesWhen he makes his way down the hall.The whole place is rigged with Smart Phones and webcams,And we will tape it all!"

And he'll have friends with sad facesAs the principal yells, "What in the blazesIs going on here?Is the dress code not clear?Now, I won't stand for such disgraces,So put the students back in their placesAnd make them go homeWith really sad faces!"

(Spoken) Now, I know what you're probably thinking: I'm not telling the whole story, right?Right. So I hope you don't mind,But I decided to write another verseSo y'all know the whole, complete truth of the matter.

You're lighting a bongAnd eyeing that gongTo stop the third verse to this song.The man with a bagWas dancing a rag,And he didn't last very long.Now Earl's shakin' bass,And Roy's whoopin' ass,And you're sittin' there callin' 'em hicks.Well, I think I'll strikeThat big gong myself,And you can kiss my ......!"

'Cause you'll have friends with sad facesAnd you'll all be asking "Why in the blazesIs our show off the air?Come on, it's no fair!"Now I'm not much for recrimination,But the "Gong Show" is an abomination!So next season you'll seeOur happy faces!

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