Penny: "We're about to shoot this scene in the movie where the serial killer ape DNA is slowly taking over my body, but I realize they're gluing fur everywhere except my cleavage. So I ask the director why and he says it's important to the story that my boobs be the last thing to turn ape."
Leonard: "[Pause] It's sweet that he thinks there's a story."

Howard: "Lemme get this straight -- so he kills this girl's father, cuts off the guy's face and is wearing it as a mask while he makes out with her?"
Raj: "I'm just gonna say it: That's not OK. ... Why can't I be in a relationship with a girl who likes 'The Sound of Music.'"
Howard: "Raj, you are the girl in the relationship who likes 'The Sound of Music.'"

Andy: "Whoa -- Alcatraz. I can't believe Michael Bay spent a billion of his own dollars to build that for 'The Rock.'"
Ben: "I can't believe you were able to recite that entire movie from memory on the plane ride."
Andy: "You weren't trying to sleep, were you? I couldn't tell 'cause you had that mask thing over your eyes."

Angela: "There was literally like 17, 18 guys who could have played Chandler on 'Friends,' right? But Matthew Perry, he did something that none of the others did.
Jim: "Licked your p****?"
Angela: "Like a champ."