“BE ALWAYS THE SAME JOHN THORNTON IN WHATEVER CIRCUMSTANCES, ENDEAVOURING TO DO RIGHT, AND MAKING GREAT BLUNDERS; AND TRYING TO BE BRAVE IN SETTING TO AFRESH” ––Mrs. Thornton, North and South

Is there a time in your life where you wish you could reinstate “take backsies” from your youth or ask for a do over? Maybe it was a brief slip of the tongue, maybe it was gross misconduct, but nevertheless, there is regret. Sometimes the answer is easy and we can hit delete on the keyboard and it is as if it never happened. Other times the process is much more complicated. What is said cannot be unsaid. I am preparing to start the editing process for publication of Inspired by Grace, my first original Regency romance that is not based off Pride and Prejudice. I knew the way I originally wrote it, that the ending was abrupt and that there were some areas of the book that did not flow well. So what did I do? I sent it to my editor, Katrina Beckstrand, and asked her to look for holes. I knew it had them, I was just too close to see how to fix it. She sent back several suggestions and I added 3 chapters and about 20,000 words to the document making the ending much more believable. (And hopefully more memorable as well.) I had to add a bit of angst, but my readers have never accused me of torturing them with unnecessary angst. As I wrap up the rewrite, and realizing that 2014 has come to an end too, it made me ponder how the last year ended. Several things happened in 2014. I published 2 books as well as republished Mr. Darcy’s Promise making a total of 3 books that we went over with a fine tooth comb. I also am still in the interview process for a new job and I keep rehashing my answers to their questions, wondering if there was a better way to have answered them. I am truly driving myself mad because I am thinking of all the things I should have said and didn’t, as well as the things that might have been better if I kept to myself. I also just finished listening to North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell and I was really moved by something that Mrs. Thornton said to her son. He was about to lose everything he had spent his life earning, and his mother gave him this advice: “Be always the same John Thornton in whatever circumstances, endeavouring to do right and making great blunders; and trying to be brave in setting to afresh”. When I first heard this speech, my breath caught in my throat, my reaction was so great. It touched me and I heard it this way: “Be the same Jeanna Ellsworth in whatever circumstance, endeavoring to do what is right, knowing full well that you will make mistakes, but being brave enough to try again even if it means starting over.” I remembered a saying that I love. “Those who do not try, will most certainly fail, but those who try, run the great risk of success.” Another one I love is, “If you are making mistakes, it means you are out there doing something.”

So whether it is a whole new ending to my book, or wishing I performed better in the interview, or not holding my sharp tongue, I make mistakes. All we can ask of ourselves is to be the same “John Thornton”(insert own name) and continue to endeavor to do right, always hoping that our bravery in continuing to try eventually leads to success.

As Thomas Edison says, “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always try one more time”. He also says, “If I find 10,000 ways something won’t work, I haven’t failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”

So don’t be afraid to be yourself, your true self. Mistakes will happen, some big, some small, but we always learn something more about ourselves with it and therefore grow. And where growth is, we can safely say that we are better today than yesterday, therefore we are continually rewriting our own ending.

Thank you. I needed to hear all these words. My 22 year marriage has almost officially ended. I find myself at 61 refinding, redefining myself .

Personally , I am looking forward. Regrets may be there but so is my future. .

Reply

Deborah

1/4/2015 12:15:32 am

"A person who never made a mistake never tried any thing new." by Albert Einstein fits this theme. My 17 year old used it as his senior year quote in the yearbook. He almost used one of Thomas Edison's quotes above. Since then, I have been trying to move forward and this post reawakened that concept. Your encouraging posts seem to hit me at the right time. Thank you Jeana.

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About the Author

Jeanna is a mother of three daughters, all whom are well versed in Pride and Prejudice; they are her best friends and the inspiration for her writing. She also proudly states she is the eighth of thirteen children. When she isn’t blogging, gardening, cooking, or raising chickens—or more realistically, writing—she is thoroughly ignoring her house for a few hours at a time in order to read yet another romance novel. Somewhere between being a mom, sister, writer, and cook, she squeezes in three 12-hour shifts each week as a Registered Nurse in a Neurological ICU. She finds great joy in her writing and claims she has never been happier.

Jeanna fell in love again with Jane Austen when she was introduced to the incredible world of Jane Austen inspired fiction. She can never adequately thank the fellow authors who mentored her and encouraged her to write her first novel. Through writing, Jeanna has gained something that no one can take away from her: hope for her own Mr. Darcy. More than anything, she hopes to prepare her three best friends to look for their own Mr. Darcy and to settle for nothing less. Jeanna’s works include: Mr. Darcy’s Promise, Pride and Persistence, To Refine Like Silver, Hope For Mr. Darcy, and Hope For Fitzwilliam. She is eagerly working on her first attempt at an original Regency romance novel: Inspired By Grace. For more information on these books, please visit her website, www.HeyLadyPublications.com