Tony Blair reveals he caused global warming

In extraordinary revelations today, ex Prime Minister Tony Blair has admitted that he caused the the climactic crisis now known as climate change.

With a disconsolate look of resignation, Mr Blair revealed that he bought large herd of cattle (approximately 300 head) and paddocked them in Somalia, in the great horn of Africa. However, they greatly multiplied through constant breeding and their accumulated methane output was quadrupled many times over leading to increased CO2 in the atmosphere.

This vast increase was discovered by scientists from Edinburgh University who commenced looking for the fall guy. They soon had Mr Blair in their sights and just as they were about to make the scientific statement of the decade, Mr Blair went one up on them and admitted his guilt. Mr Blair said he didn't listen to informed advice that suggested cattle would be a problem if they kept defacating all the time (or farting). In fact he sacked one adviser who later killed himself after the press reported his sanguine opinions.

The ex Prime Minister regrets the lapse of judgement and apologised profusely for the environmental legacy he has left the planet.

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