What Shakira wore at Glastonbury

Shakira, Shakira. You may not know her surname (it's Ripoll), but with 50 million album sales worldwide, you'd have to be stupid, deaf or dead hot to have heard of South America's biggest star. And if you are? Her panty-panty latest single She-Wolf or her World Cup kick-off concert (for which she wore a grass skirt and a skinned zebra) should have set you straight. But just two weeks later, revellers at Glastonbury were left slightly underwhelmed by her massively lazy choice of jeans, T-shirt and dangly bits for her performance on the Pyramid stage. Honestly, Shakira, jeans? In 80 degrees heat? The punters deserve better.

Glastonbury festival, 2010:

Compare this outfit to one she wore eight years ago in Italy. BAD Shakira. Luckily for her, she's now considered a full-time philanthropist, rather than just someone who knows how to shake an outstanding belly button. In fact, if it weren't for the rigmarole that comes with dissing a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, we'd really kick off. Here's what she wore at a music festival in Italy eight years ago. Much better.

At a festival in Italy, 2002:

Now, the 33-year-old returns to her Bahamas home with her small and humble breasts, her non-lying hips and sadly, her smug fiancé. Although rumours abound of a flirtation with Rafael Nadal... which gives a glimmer of hope to all of the Grand Slam tennis champions amongst us.