Iceland Declares War On Britain

Iceland, that weird cold place at the top of the map, has reacted angrily to the banking crisis in which it has found itself, and has declared war on Great Britain.

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown yesterday bluntly refused his Icelandic counterpart Magnusson Magnus a £4billion loan to help the Vikings out of their mess, resulting in the Declaration of War.

The Viking Army is, these days, a relatively spent force, totalling only 750 men, but there lies a more serious threat on the horizon for Mr Brown, in the shape of Russia.

Russia is an old ally of the Vikings, and this morning, Vladimir Putin, despite the fact that he is no longer the President of Russia, spoke to the Russian people in a TV address, saying:

"I hate Britain. The Vikings are our comrades. If this thing escalates, we will train our nuclear warheads on London. We will teach THE POMPOUS ENGLISH BULLDOG to mess with our Baltic satellite states!"

The crisis emerged after Icelandic banks went tits-up on Wednesday, rendering various UK institutions who had their money in the banks, penniless. These included West Ham United, who are now staring relegation in the face.

Mr Brown refused to help Iceland with a loan, however, claiming that it would be 'throwing good money after bad', which aroused the ire of Mr Putin.

A war with Iceland could prove extremely costly for Britain if frozen pizzas, burgers, fish fingers, chips and some gateaux, which are now the staple diet of many people in this country, run into short supply.

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