Ever kill anything?

Andrew hated school. He was smart – could probably test out of high school if he really wanted to – but that was too much work for him. Ninth grade and learning nothing was perfectly fine!

“Hiya Maya!” shouted Andrew, grinning. This was his standard greeting to her.

“What do you want, Andrew?” replied Maya.

“Is something wrong?” asked Andrew.

“Oh nothing…”

“I just wanted the homework”

“Oh right.” Said Maya. She gets her homework out of her shoulder bag and hands it to him. “Give it back after first period, you know the routine!” she smiled.
“Heehee, you got it!”

Andrew and Maya scurried off in opposite directions. They’ve been good friends for a good two years. Three years ago was when Andrew first went to Central High School. Andrew was not your typical ninth-grader. He was fifteen years old and could match his knowledge to any good twelfth-grader. He’s average height, and a bit skinny. He’s usually friendly, but can joke around at times. Andrew was also incredibly lazy. It’s in the middle of February and he hadn’t done his schoolwork since week three.

Now Maya was what many would call “The blondest not-blond”. She’s quite naive at times, but believes Andrew’s judgement is best. She’s a C-average student and does the work for Andrew. She wasn’t beautiful – she can be better described as handsome. She wasn’t dumb as most people thought. When she wants to be, she can be smart. She can also be really thoughtful at times, and she’s definitely one to give into temptations.

After a boring first hour, which Andrew spent copying Maya’s homework, he met up with her at her locker.

After school, Andrew and Maya were walking home together. Andrew was quick to forget about what had happened. Maya, however, was furious.

“Evil Vampires! We should cut off their heads and stuff them with garlic!” yelled Maya.

“Settle down, only one of them attacked me…”

“I’m still going to hurt him!”

“No you won’t…”

“Yes I w-“

“No-you-won’t-no-you-won’t!”

Silence.

Andrew noticed that Maya was thinking to herself. He knew better than to disturb her. After about a minute she started a new topic.

“Ever kill anything?” asked Maya curiously.

“What?”

“Have you ever killed something?”

“Yeah like mosquitoes… so what?”

“How’d you like it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Getting back at those annoying mosquitos by killing them..?”

Andrew stared at Maya for a bit, “Maya, you know? Sometimes you’re kind of strange…”

Maya laughed

“So you like killing mosquitoes then, Maya?”

“Yeah I guess… Well sort of” replied Maya.

“What do you mean… sort of? And what’s to like?” asked Andrew,

“The squish is kind of funny.”

“What the hell?”

They kept walking for a while.

“Ever kill anything bigger?” asked Maya

“Nope” replied Andrew, starting to get creeped out.

“I did”

“Really..?”

“Yuh huh. A few times.”

“Like What!?” Andrew exclaimed.

“Spiders and mice”

“Oh.”

“Sometimes I worry about you, Maya,” said Andrew.

The wind blew. It wasn’t exceptionally cold, but it was February. The breeze blew through Maya’s hair and Andrew looked at her. He’d notice before how she had nice dark hair. He reached and touched her hair, pretending to pull out a leaf. He got a Gatorade bottle from a backpack pouch and drank.

Some cool hair, Andrew thought to himself.

“I also killed some dogs!”

Andrew choked on is Gatorade and spat it out “What? You-”

“You know I’m just kidding right?” asked Maya. She flashed a smile.

“I knew it, you were trying to make me look stupid!”

“Hee hee. Yup! It worked.”

Andrew was at the dining table doing a bit of his homework before he came to a terrifying realisation.

“What the fuck? Why am I doing my homework?” yelled Andrew.

He quickly stood up and went to his room. He opened his laptop, and played Skyrim. About an hour of play, he was in a situation where he had to kill some wolves. After he had done the job, he looked at the corpses of the dead wolves and shook his head.

I’m being dumb. He thought to himself. There’s no way she killed dogs.

He played Skyrim for a bit longer and went to bed early. That night, he dreamed of nothing.

Maya spent the night in her room, texting her friends on her shiny little iPhone. iPhone is such a useful device. One could be used to find out so many things: Even where he lives.

“Huh…?”

Oh wow, thought to herself, That was strange. I really need to stop thinking about Collin. I’ll end up being sued or something.

She woke up in her bedroom, surrounded by dogs: Dogs of every breed! Big dogs, little dogs, smart dogs, rabid dogs, demon dogs, and little dogs – all of them were barking at her! She squealed loudly and noticed her feet were chained to her bed! Her arms were… holding and axe! She immediately began swinging blindly, screaming at the same time.

“Go away! Get out! GET OUT! YOU’RE NOT WELCOME HERE!

All of a sudden, all signs of the dogs, but one, a German Shepard, were gone. It’s stomach was cut open and an axe was shoved inside. Blood was flowing out of it quickly. The dog was still alive and in severe pain – You could see its eyes rolled back into its head.

She realised that the chains on her feet had disappeared the same way the other dogs did and get out of bed, but something immobilised her once more. The blood was really red, but she could see a figure in it. It was her reflection! The reflection of her off the blood was eating a heart stuck on a fork. Blood was dripping out of tiny holes, and more flowed out as she sunk her teeth into it. As she swallowed and opened her mouth for another bite –

Maya woke up!

“Oh my God!” she sobbed with her eyes shut tight “I really shouldn’t have killed that dog, three weeks ago.”

She was in reality. She opened her eyes and saw Collin right in front of her. His stomach was cut open and an axe was shoved inside. The person holding the axe was her.

Holy shit!

She looked around and saw she was in a shed. She took another look at Collin and saw that he had his eyes cut out and his chest was pulled torn open to where his still-beating heart was exposed. She quickly dropped the axe and fled from the scene. After sneaking into her room through her window, to not wake her parents, she cleaned herself up and cried herself to sleep.

Ring. Lunch period.

“Maya!” yelled Andrew, “Where were you this morning? I didn’t have my homework! Well I had some of it…”

“Well, you see I… Wait, you had your homework?”

“Err, yeah, I did some of it and I don’t know why.”

“Who the hell are you and what have you done with Andrew!?” exclaimed Maya.

“Very funny..” chuckled Andrew.

A strange silence passed between them…

“Collin isn’t here today”

A big chill passed through Maya.

“Maya? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, It’s just… “ I can’t tell him… thought Maya.

“Well…”

“You know the dog story?”

Andrew froze. “What about it?”

“It’s kind of true… And I really regret that I did it.”

“Shut the fuck up, you’re just trying to josh me!”

Another strange silence passed…

“I’m going to the bathroom,” said Maya, “I feel sick”

Is it true? Thought Andrew, I actually think she’s being honest… Oh God… Why does my best friend after two years have to tell me she’s a crazy psycho bitch that kills animals for fun? Then again she did say she regretted it…

As Andrew was on the way back home, Collin’s Bully/accomplice Keith popped out from around a corner with a switchblade in his hand.

“Wallet! Cash! All of it! Now!” yelled Keith.

Maya hid behind Andrew, but didn’t notice that Andrew wasn’t scared at all. Andrew just dropped his wallet and kept moving. It was an expensive looking wallet. Keith picked it up and started to run off, but Maya caught up to him, knocked him down which had to take an incredible amount of strength, snatched the switchblade, breaking his arm in the process.

Keith’s bloodcurdling scream echoed. Maya held tight both hands to the blade and plunged it towards Keith’s heart. Nothing at the moment was important but that blade. The whole world was revolving around the blade.

When Maya made contact, it was no longer in her hand, but Andrew had it. He held it behind his back. Everyone was shocked at this, except for Andrew… and he was pissed.

“And you were going to kill him!” said Andrew, his voice was low, controlled, but dark.

“He was –“

“You are no friend of mine”

As he walked away, he pulled the blade out of his arm, quickly, grinding his teeth in pain as he did it.

He did a good job of acting tough and hiding his fear; however, that night he dreamed about Maya … and he was terrified.

It was late at night. Maya was following Keith.

Because of him, she thought, my best friend hates me. Because of him…

She realised it wasn’t about him or Andrew anymore. It was about her and what she wanted to do.

Maya followed Keith by the shed where Collin was murdered. She called Collin’s cell phone.

Keith immediately recognised Collin’s ringtone and ran to the shed. As he entered, he threw up at the sight of Collin’s mutilated body.

Maya followed him quietly towards the shed, her eyes blazing black with devilish happiness. She soon forgot all about Andrew, and came to the most thrilling understanding of her life: She wanted to do it. She had to stop herself from giggling when she spotted a nearby axe. She picked it up and brushed off the dirt.

Keith was hunched over on the ground, coughing. Maya was just a few feet from him now. She raised the hatchet over her head and giggled maniacally before slinging it downwards with all her might, eyes shut and squealing madly. She missed and chopped off only his ear, but the impact was enough to knock him unconscious.

She stood over him and dangled the hatchet over his limp body, but as she slung it down, her hatchet connected with something, stopping the blow. Andrew blocked it with an iron rod.

“What the hell are you doing?” Screamed Andrew, “Stop! You need help!”

“Fuck you! This is fun!”

She slung the hatchet around at Andrew’s head, but it hit his arm chopping off his left arm. It hit the ground with a thump and the blood spreads on the ground. There’s no way I can get out of here alive. He thought to himself. I have to end this!

As smart as Andrew was, he could only think to call the police; he somehow miraculously managed to dial 911.

Maya chopped his lower legs with amazing strength.

She then chopped off his upper legs above his knees.

Then his thighs.

Then she took the switchblade she kept from Keith and carved a picture of a dog in his stomach, giggling like mad. Bathed herself in his blood, and…

Blood. Get it off! Scrub it off! Every single drop of it! Get it down the drain… Quickly! Quickly! Before someone sees… Before someone knows… Get if off! Wash it off!

She was in the bathtub, and a blinding light filled the room. Then Maya realised she had been sleepwalking once again. She was facing full-body mirror from the tub and she was scrubbing herself with a washcloth. She looked at her reflection and was frozen by what she saw.

Her face was smeared with crimson, red blood.

Her left arm was spattered with it.

The clothes she was wearing were dampened and stained with a large amount of the shiny mettalic red.

She immediately realised that the blood was not her own, but someone else’s. She was the one who did the slashing and killing.

Oh shit! What’s going on!?

She stopped scrubbing and watched her reflection. She was awestruck by the gruesome reflection of the blood on her lips. She squeezed her washcloth and blood mixed with soap dripped.

What have I done!?

She looked at the reflection of the blood on her arms as a drop of blood hit the ground. Instead of hearing the expected plop as it hit the ground, there was the deafening noise of the bathroom door being broken down as the police stormed to arrest her.

“Get down on the ground! Hands where we can see them!”

She slowly moved towards the bottom of the tub as tears streamed down her face, mixing with the blood, looking as if she were crying crimson. She still didn’t know what she had done.

I have the feeling that Andrew is a serious power fantasy for the author. Ultra-smart, has a girlfriend, hates school, and, who knows about the rest of the story – maybe he’s into masochism…

Nozomi

Started off strong, then I think you may have gotten bored. Keep everything up until the end of the first day, then rewrite for clarity from there on out.

Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

This wasn’t too bad. There were some errors though. The paragraphs (although it was nice to see some) were too short. The switchblade was taken by Andrew, she wouldn’t have had it in the shed. Chopping limbs off with an axe would probably take several attempts even with amazing strength.

I’d give this a 6/10 if you polished it up. At the moment it’s worth a 3/10.

Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

I hate the start of this one.

It doesn’t matter how good someone is at learning if you do not learn a subject you’ll never be able to pass a test in it.

Could the author please explain to me the basics of quantum physics. You’d be able to to if you learnt about it. That is of course assuming you won’t be able to explain the basics of quantum physics to me.

Ms.Not-So-Human

This one wasn’t too bad; rewrite it and maybe it’ll be better.
But still, this is essentially how my boyfriend and I broke up.

Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

That’s just what I needed on this dark and gloomy British Summer’s morning. Great comment!