questions and answers (6)

Your blog says that the family name of a husband should be written on Tanzaku. But, generally speaking, on Bon Festival or during the equinoctial week, people visit graves of both a husband and a wife. If I write my husband’s family name on it, doesn’t it make my parent’s ancestors cry?

husband 夫

generally speaking 一般的に言えば

the equinoctial week お彼岸

grave 墓

make A ~ Aを〜させる

ancestor 先祖

Answer:

It is no problem for you to visit graves of your parents’ ancestors and hold a memorial service for them a couple of times a year. Just follow your family’s way. The problem is, when you hold a memorial service for your parents’ ancestors at home everyday, unless you do it in the name of your present name(a husband’s family name), conflicts between you and your husband will often occur. Because there is a clash between the two spiritual lines of ancestors.

no problem 問題ない

memorial service for one’s ancestors 先祖供養

a couple of times ２・３回

follow 従う

unless S+V SがVしない限り

present 現在の

conflict 争い

clash 衝突

Question:

In the case of there being only daughters in family home, what if they all get married? I’m just like that. My sisters have all changed their names to their husband’s. One of my relatives got divorced recently, but she didn’t change her name for convenience. Does she have to hold a memorial service for her parents’ ancestors as soon as she changes back the original family name?

case 場合

daughter 娘

family home 実家

What if S+V？ SがVしたらどうなるのだろうか？

get married 結婚する

relative 親戚

get divorced 離婚する

recently 最近

for convenience 便宜上

as soon as S+V SがVしたらすぐに

Answer:

If you don’t think much of a memorial service for your husband’s ancestor, you’re likely to get divorced. That a family name ends has some deep karma beyond our understanding. It is better to use your “present” name when you hold the service rather than a name of your family register.

think much of A Aを重要視する

be likely to~ 〜しそうである

end 絶える

meaning 意味

It is better to~ 〜した方がよい

rather than~ 〜よりもむしろ

family register 戸籍

Question:

What if a husband get married and get into his wife’s family? Does he have to hold a memorial service for her wife’s ancestors instead of his? In that case he must have reluctance to do it. When the husband and wife don’t get along well, is it likely that if he begins to hold the service for her ancestors, their relationship would be better?

get married 結婚する

instead of A Aの代わりに

reluctance 抵抗

get along well 仲良くやっている

likely ありそうな

relationship 関係

Answer:

When a man gets into his wife’s family, he has to hold memorial services for the ancestors of her name. Otherwise, the relationship of a husband and a wife wouldn’t last long. When a married couple isn’t getting on well, to hold services for husband’s ancestors would make the couple happier.