Sunday, February 19, 2006

Special Guest Villain: "Smile If You're Lying"

I'm afraid of "mommy blogs". Wouldn't you be?

I have no children, and I'd say it's extremely unlikely that I will ever have any. In fact, in my advancing age, I have come to view children as ugly but quiet for the first month of their lives, smelly for the next couple of years, hyperactive for two years after that, and then the inquisitiveness kicks in:

"Why is the sky blue?"

"Why does Mommy scream every time she gets on the bathroom scale?"

"What are those magazines Daddy keeps hidden in the tool shed?"

"Why don't I have a trust fund like Billy does?"

Follow that with the onset of puberty and attitude (not necessarily in that order), and THEN, at long last, the children become tolerable to be around. Except that, at age 16, you only have a couple of good years to spend with them, and they have absolutely no interest in spending it with YOU.

And after all this, you get the privilege of sending lots of checks to the College Of Your Choice for four MORE years. And everything I have described is the BEST-case scenario!

So I have a lot of respect for those who choose to become parents (at least initially; if their toddler is running around screaming at my favorite dining establishment while I'm trying to eat, and the parents' method of parenting involves ignoring them completely, my respect fades very quickly).

Nonetheless, most mommy blogs consist of entries like "Two-year-old Junior ate out of the litter box today. Isn't he just the cuuuutest?" Fortunately, there are exceptions, and this week's BlogExplosion renter is one of them. "Smile If You're Lying" is hosted by a young mother in Cleveland who has a thing for Hugh Laurie (post-"Jeeves and Wooster", of course) and Nine Inch Nails. She has a troublemaking child, a troublemaking husband, and a troublemaking blog. All of this adds up to good, troublemaking fun, of course.

Do yourself a favor (and mommy Debbie, too) by clicking here, or on that thumbnail over on the sidebar, to check out "Smile If You're Lying". Come on. You know you want to.

So, yeah, thanks Gary. I appreciate the re-rental opportunity at such a cheap price. But really, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself now, I have nothing to garauntee (sp) my own tenants except for the thumbnail they paid for. I'm a slumlord. I'm gonna use that for my new campaign slogan. No stealing!

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About Me

Why the heck wouldn't you want to read the toxic byproducts of my mental processes? It's not like you're too busy to waste a minute or two here, you know. You ARE just killing time by mindlessly surfing the web. Pop open a brewski and stay a while.