Today - how do I put my feelings into words?Words that others will understand....words that will help me understand.Sadness, confusion, incomplete"ness," weight, weak, crying....But, yet, even as I think about these words I realize there are others.

Is it possible to have these feelings at the same time?Why do I feel torn between these two extremes?What is it - why can't I just feel apathetic...somewhere in the middle?Apathy - this is a feeling I do not understand...it is like feeling nothing.

Is it easier for me to feel nothing? It is easier for me to just ignore my feelings?This does not feel right. I seek something - justice, righteousness...is there something more?I am a rabbi. I am a father. I am a husband. I am a friend. I am a stranger. I am so many things...

I am human first...nothing else take precedence. I was born a human - everything else came afterwards.

I know it is not possible for me to hide away and ignore my confusion...ignore what I feel isn't right.I know I need to act for what I believe is right...people depend on these actions. The leader in me knows it is time to act...it is time to lead by example and do something.