Cindy Jacobs ‘Lays Siege’ to Our Cities

Cindy Jacobs has a column in Charisma News teaching her followers how to “prophetically lay seige” to their cities and local governments through — what else? — the power of prayer. “The army of God is on the move,” she says, and they’re coming for your cities next:

Frankly, as we examine the cities in which we live, many would have to say, “Truthfully, there is a lot about my city that is not godly.” As more Christians throughout the world have come to realize the spiritual condition of their cities, the church is experiencing an awakening concerning our responsibility to pray, “Your Kingdom come, Your will be done,” not only in the life of the church but in the life of our cities.

What has happened to God’s world? The Bible states that Satan has declared himself the “god of this world.” Satan has effectively built strongholds around our cities and the people groups of the world. He is holding captive billions of souls who will spend an eternity in hell if we do not learn how to storm the gates of hell on their behalf…

The army of God is on the move and ready for battle strategy. A new breed of watchmen is emerging across the nations. This breed is ready to lay siege to its cities.

Ezekiel 4 gives a prophetic pattern for establishing the lordship of Christ in your area. Ezekiel was called of God to perform an intercessory act over the city of Jerusalem, much like Joshua when he was called to march around Jericho. Ezekiel’s prophetic intercession provides a model—with principles found throughout the Word of God—on how to intercede for a city against spiritual strongholds…

God told Ezekiel to build a ramp or earthen mound against the walls. He was also told to build camps and lay battering rams against it (v. 2). Today this is accomplished through unity in prayer with pastors and leaders, prayer in local churches and the formation of “camps” of prayer groups for the city. These groups pray the prayers that are the “battering rams” against the gates of hell in the city.

Our two weapons are surprise and prayer. Prayer, surprise and a bottomless bowl of spaghetti…Among our weapons are….

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

iknklast

As long as she sticks to prayer, I’m not worried. It’s when they decide God isn’t moving fast enough and start to implement policies on their own to assist him.

He [Satan] is holding captive billions of souls who will spend an eternity in hell if we do not learn how to storm the gates of hell on their behalf…

If we’re being held captive, then nonbelief isn’t an informed choice, and sending us to hell for being held captive by Satan is just victim-blaming by God.

“Theological content? We have no content. In fact, we don’t need content. I don’t have to show you any stinking content…”

Larry

You’re gonna do what? Attack our cities? Whatdda got? Bombs? Machine guns? You say you’re gonna use prayer? Whew, you had me going there for a minute. I was afraid you had something that was, you know, useful and effective.

unbound

I’m with iknklast…I’m just fine with them sitting around praying all the time. Heck, they can even re-enact the old testament and walk around cities waiting for the walls to fall. It’s when they decide that the voices in their heads are real and they start acting on the voices in their head that it becomes a problem.

Mr Ed

Satan has effectively built strongholds around our cities

I knew that those nice suburbs had a dark side.

Abby Normal

[Ezekiel] was also told to build camps and lay battering rams against it (v. 2). Today this is accomplished through… the formation of “camps” of prayer groups [whose] prayers are the “battering rams”…

So you’re saying the Bible should be interpreted metaphorically, rather than literally.

Synfandel

How many things that don’t exist can you find in this bit of religiobabble?

– God

– Satan

– souls

– Hell

– the ‘Army of God’

– the ‘Word of God’

– spiritual strongholds

What it really needs are some Ents.

abb3w

If they stop taking the passage figuratively, and start taking it more literally that they need to build earthworks and put battering rams around a city, that would seem more worrisome.

Alverant

I thought the “Army of God” was listed as one of the few christian terrorist organizations.

frankb

I like to read these religous battle speeches with the view that the conservative christians are the armies of Satan. They are the ones who are judgmental, bearing false witness, uncharitable, unforgiving, bigoted, etc, etc. But the armies of God are too polite to go damaging their churches by battering down their doors.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=153100784 michaelbrew

I love how they take actual military strategy and decide its a metaphor, but when you start talking about talking snakes and global floods, that’s what has to be interpreted literally.

brucegee1962

I wonder what they would say if somebody suggested that they do something that might actually improve the condition of their cities. Say, oh, raising to taxes so teachers would get more money, or instituting more recreation programs so kids would have something to do, or planting trees or improving transportation or providing dental care for people who need it or building homeless shelters or or or or or….

Nah, the best thing about prayer is that it’s free.

TGAP Dad

I completely endorse her plan. STFU and pray your asses off!

raven

What has happened to God’s world? The Bible states that Satan has declared himself the “god of this world.”

Quoting a known work of fiction isn’t very convincing.

If satan is the ruler of this world, where is his buddy,…god, that Trinity being?

1. If god isn’t as powerful as satan, why call him god?

2. If god is able to remove satan from power and will not, then he is a colluding, evil monster. Then why call it god and worship a monster?

If you try to make sense of xianity, you can’t do it. It’s simply incoherent.

Cyndy Jacob’s version is even worse., It’s primitive superstition, magic, and a big portion of greed for easy money.

DaveL

God told Ezekiel to build a ramp or earthen mound against the walls. He was also told to build camps and lay battering rams against it (v. 2). Today this is accomplished through unity in prayer with pastors and leaders, prayer in local churches and the formation of “camps” of prayer groups for the city.

No, no, no, Ms. Jacobs. Here’s how you accomplish that today:

1) Take that bowl of endless spaghetti.

2) Get up in a powered boom lift on the outskirts of the city.

3) Hold the bowl over the railing and turn it upside down.

4) Slowly drive around the city.

Voila! Instant rampart!

http://reasondecrystallized.blogspot.com andrew

This is LARP-ing.

Well, I guess that’s not entirely fair. After all, most LARP-ers know that what they’re doing isn’t actually real.

caseloweraz

Jacobs: “The army of God is on the move and ready for battle strategy.”

Reporter: We take you now to the Secret Mountain Temple™, where the Council of Christian Elders is meeting to decide strategy for the opening battle in the newly declared War on Satanic Cities.

Elder 1: “We must storm the gates of Hell.”

Elder 2: “No! First lay siege to the cities!”

Elders all start shouting at once.

Reporter: I don’t think we’ll learn anything more here for the moment. Back to you, anchor.

Loqi

I read “lay siege to our cities” and assumed they were going to go all JW on us. Good to hear they won’t even go that far.

dingojack

But Cindi – are you gonna surround the Pentagon and levitate it? Inquiring minds need to know.

Dingo

DaveL

I assume that they’ll leave the roads clear when they lay siege, because “chariots of iron” and all that.

Chiroptera

Fetchez la vache!

Thumper; immorally inferior Atheist mate

The Bible states that Satan has declared himself the “god of this world.” Satan has effectively built strongholds around our cities and the people groups of the world. He is holding captive billions of souls who will spend an eternity in hell if we do not learn how to storm the gates of hell on their behalf…

The army of God is on the move and ready for battle strategy…

After 23 years on this Earth, the fact that grown adults are capable of believing this shit continues to boggle my mind. The fact that grown adults with all their mental faculties and a first world education are capable of believing this shit is enough to cause a fucking aneurysm. .

Thumper; immorally inferior Atheist mate

@Chiroptera

I wonder if she will attempt to besiege the cities using a gigantic wooden rabbit? She might even attempt a few Canadian cities…

——————————-

“C’est un lapin!”

“Un cadeaux!”

“Eh?”

“A present!”

“Oh! Un cadeaux!”

bastionofsass

Code red.

I repeat Code Red.

Prayers are being said.

Follow your prayer emergency plan.

Snark and snicker at will.

dingojack

Nope, we’ll snicker at those adults who believe their imaginary friend can change the nature of reality when they talk to him/her/it with just the right amount of earnestness, at all times, ’cause it’s damn funny.

Dingo

oranje

“and the people groups of the world”

Oh no. Not the people groups.

busterggi

If I were an all-powerful, all-loving god I’d never let a lesser god like Satan run around messing up my perfect-made world.

Guess Yahweh isn’t as logical as me.

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About the Author

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. Read More...