An ongoing journey through substance abuse and eating disorders.

Category: Relationships

Do you believe in coincidence? Serendipity? Synchronicity? A confluence of events? N and I found ourselves sharing a bus today on a line that neither of us rides regularly. We had about 5 minutes to catch up before she had to get off of the bus. She shared that she had just been speaking of […]

On the car ride home from a Refuge Recovery meeting this morning, one of my friend’s started to talk about her own moderate cannabis use. Needless to say, this got my attention. We were with my mentor (J) and his S.O. (S) who were evidently aware of her use already. I still haven’t told them […]

I don’t know what is going on with me right now, but I have been extraordinarily horny the last few days. I still refuse to try to start a relationship with anyone because I’m not healthy enough, but it has been ages (15 months?) since I’ve had sex. I’m honestly looking into escort services at […]

I feel almost stupid writing this. I fall in love too quickly, too hard and with, probably, not the most appropriate people (love that BPD!). I’ve actually seen this coming for a while. I mean, she has been my ‘favorite person’ for some time. Before I go much further, I should say that she does […]

I’m in a relatively good place right now and am allowing it to happen without desperately trying to cling to it. That was not the case last night or for most of the morning. I have put a plan in place to safely get through the day and have a lot of support from my […]

I almost don’t even want to write that as the title of this entry, less the modest improvement I’m seeing slips away, but I need to document when this happens otherwise I have tremendous difficulty remembering the ‘good times’ when I’m feeling like shit. Sunday was a pretty good day for me for almost the […]

I just had an interesting walk home from the AT&T store. The trip itself was a bust but I had just enough cannabis in me to allow for the sort of enhanced lateral thinking that I get, and quite enjoy, when I’m just barely stoned. I have made it a habit of writing down ideas […]