So all anybody can talk about is Miley Cyrustwerking, right? (Actually the twerking is kind of the least of it, in my opinion -- I mean, Miley's disturbing need to stick her tongue out the side of her mouth every two seconds bothered me a lot more than her dance moves, but anyway.) Everybody's all freaking out about Miley's supposedly awe-inspiring yet admittedly inappropriate twerking abilities, except it seems like nobody's noticed something very, very important: Miley was not technically twerking at all.

Yup, you read that right. Sure, Cyrus is kind of the poster child for twerking, and sure, whatever she was doing up on stage at the 2013 VMAs involved butt jiggling, but girl! You can't just stick your arse in the air and call it twerking!

See?? Don't let the dancing bears distract you: Miley Cyrus may be a lover but she ain't no twerker! Look, I'm not dissing the girl -- first of all, she doesn't have much of a booty to bounce, which isn't her fault. Secondly, she's clearly out of her mind. So, who can really blame her for getting it wrong?

How to twerk is clearly the least of Miley's problems right now. Still, the fact remains ... she wasn't! Oh, Miley. I think you would do well to heed the words of wise man Mystikal: Shake ya ass, but watch yo'self.