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The other day two people threatened to sue me. Admittedly, they were employees
of the same company. But still: two in 24 hours is a new record for me.
It’s also the first time I’ve been threatened by a company,
not an individual. But, like all the others, it was related to
NationStates,
the nation simulation web game I wrote.

To whom it may concern:

There is a “counrty” on your webite called “Allevia”. Allevia is a
TRADEMARKED name and may not be used on your website. You will be
receiving registered mail shortly from our legal councel here in
Switzerland. We advise that you remove the trademarked name from
your site without delay.

Before long I had a reply from Pierre Mainil-Varlet, MD, PhD, MBA,
Allevia’s Chief Operating Officer. Pierre confirmed it was genuine, and
if I didn’t scrub Allevia from NationStates, “a legal action will be started.”

Now I was confused. It’s not like Allevia is such a bad nation.
It’s a democracy, has excellent civil rights, low unemployment, and its
national animal was the Tufted Penguin. Those
are some cool birds. Sure, it’s a corporate bordello, but whose country
isn’t, these days? So I had trouble seeing what this company’s
problem was—other than the fact that
Google’s “allevia”
results listed someone who wasn’t them at number five.

I wrote to Pierre expressing my doubts:

Could you please explain why you believe the use of the Allevia name
by one of our players is illegal? To my eye it just looks like
coincidence—nothing about the account suggests the player is referring
to (or even aware of) your company. Should nationstates.net be in breach
of the law, then by all means we will comply, but I’m a little puzzled
about what law you think is being broken here.

Pierre fired back a very interesting reply. Before I reveal that, though,
here is a quiz. Imagine you discover an unrelated use of your company’s name
in an obscure online computer game. There’s nothing
offensive or damaging about it, but still, it bugs you that the internet
isn’t reserved solely for your marketing messages. What do you do?

Your options:

Ignore it, because it has nothing to do with you, and your time is better
spent doing whatever the hell it is that your company is supposed to do.

Pierre agreed with me that it was “a total coincidence and not bad will from
the player.” And he further acknowledged that not only is “allevia” a common
Italian word, but it’s used by Estee Lauder to refer
to a fragrance. However, he claimed:

[We] own all other field of application including computer games and
softawre software. The situation would be the same if you would use the name
coca cola.. You would be place into difficulties

He also assured me again that this was a serious matter and Allevia
“will be consequent in our action,” which I took to mean something bad.

Around now I began to wonder if our player should sue Pierre. After all,
the player was running a respectable nation; he wouldn’t want to be confused
with a Swiss-based manufacturer of empty legal threats.
I was also tickled by Pierre’s use of the Coca-Cola example. I mean,
of all the companies to choose from, and all the people to try it on:
he chooses Coke, and the guy who wrote a novel set in that company
and had it published in ten countries.

I was a little tempted to fake up a letter from Coke, saying it had come
to their attention that Pierre had used their trademarked name in an email without
permission, and now they were going to sue. Because Pierre didn’t seem to
understand that trademark law prohibits people from passing themselves
off as you—not from talking about you, or using the same coincidental series
of letters in unrelated contexts.

But I didn’t do that. Pierre CCed his last email to a bunch of
people inside Allevia, presumably to impress upon them how decisively
he was taking care of business. Following that, I couldn’t get him to
write back to me, no matter how sneakily I encouraged him to say
something else outlandish. So I’m guessing someone on that CC list
knocked on his office door and had a gentle conversation with him about what the
hell he was doing.

Which makes it a happy ending, in my book. The great nation of Allevia survives,
its intelligent, well-educated citizens free to lead their lives unmolested
in their beautiful, progressive, somewhat economically fragile nation.
And, somewhere in Switzerland, a Chief Operating Officer grows a little
sadder, but perhaps also a little wiser.

Julian Bennett Holmes (#2209)

Adam (#24)

I chose #3. My new life goal is to be Allevias Chief Operating Officer.

-adam speicher

Adam A. (#256)

Location: Phoenix, ArizonaQuote: "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." -George Carlin"Posted: 4427 days ago

Great story. And way to not take any crap from The Man .

Katrina (#847)

Location: SF, CAQuote: "Good sex is like good Bridge: if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." -- Mae West"Posted: 4427 days ago

I have to admit it's the spelling that really gets to me. >_>

Matt (#808)

Location: AZQuote: "The only 3 books I've read in the last few years have been from the Barry Collection"Posted: 4427 days ago

Good job Allevia! Bad press for a company who nobody knows about :) Nice writeup, I think the COO should have chosen one of the first two options you listed. And I LOVE the Coke reference in the email...very nice.

Colette (#324)

Location: Houston, Texas, USAQuote: ""The good Earth â we could have saved it, but we were too damn cheap and lazy" -- Kurt Vonnegut"Posted: 4427 days ago

Way to go, Max. I'm behind you all the way! (and now I want to make a Coca Cola nation....)

Marleen (#2741)

Location: Berlin, GermanyQuote: "I want more expensive shoes in one place than I've ever seen in my whole life."Posted: 4427 days ago

I'm in tears! *laughing in office*

Queen Eve (#460)

Location: Dimensions at SanguinemDraconis.netQuote: "Sanity is a gift; given at birth, lessened by maturity, and gone from us by the age of reason. --Kestral Lei"Posted: 4427 days ago

I am tickled pink by this one Max. Not only do I applaud you for standing up to a bully, but also for the humorous manner in which you did it. It might not mean much to the rest of the world, but Im sure it meant alot to the head of Allevia, the nation, and the rest of your following.

This is one of those funny things I would like to see spread across the news and internet, eventually gaining folk-legend status. Then we can all say we know the real story and tout how our own Max Barry stood up to the numbskull COO and got him to say something really stupid.

Flash those pearly whites Monseuir Mainil-Varlet when you smile blankly for the camera.

Danni (#357)

Location: EnglandQuote: "Eagerly awaiting the European Tour."Posted: 4427 days ago

Well done Max :) Thanks for the laugh- I needed it :D

Tony Quin (#1310)

Location: Plymouth -urghQuote: "Yoga is NAILS"Posted: 4427 days ago

After waking up late and missing a meeting I meant to attend, that made my day.

Tony Quin (#1310)

Location: Plymouth -urghQuote: "Yoga is NAILS"Posted: 4427 days ago

Incidentally, from what I saw the nationstates forums are "healthy" still. You have a rather raunchy 11 page thread that started this morning before breakfast.

David (#1848)

I LOL'ed all over the place, here, Max! Thanks, but who is going to help me clean up this mess?

I think the famouser you get the more ironical things are going to happen, bubba.

Tom (#2823)

Location: SouthEast Michigan (U.S.A.)Quote: "In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is."Posted: 4427 days ago

That's a very funny story. The fact that it is true makes it funnier.

Linnea1928 (#2654)

Location: Rosemount, MNPosted: 4427 days ago

I love how your posts always make me giggle, and then when my roommate asks why I'm giggling and I try to explain it to her, she has no idea what the hell I'm talking about. Every single time. Anyways, thanks for another fulfilling morning of giggling. :)

Narain (#824)

Location: Los Angeles, right between civilization and a desertQuote: "NI!"Posted: 4427 days ago

Max: 1Corporations: 26,498

But every little bit helps

Jak (#2464)

Quote: "The Straight-Jacket makes it hard to type."Posted: 4427 days ago

Nice,Off to register a nation in every brand name i can think of...

fredzfrog (#2368)

Location: MoeQuote: "Fredzfrog"Posted: 4426 days ago

ohh bugger it!

i finally signed up to nationstates today...

and after joining, i then read my email. gah! coke would of been a far better name then fredztopia!

Xavier Desroches (#1840)

Wow... I don't understand how peoples can think of such stupid thing... its like those compagnies which dont want peoples to use their name as a common word (Like "to google something") while some other want their name to be use ("IBM compatible", "Kleenex", "Tylenol", etc...).I may be studying management (finance) but I'm still a newby at understanding those corporate craps!!!

Rod McBride (#688)

blab (#1632)

Location: The Sandwich IslesQuote: "Adventure is just poor planning"Posted: 4426 days ago

When I began my addiction to this game I had no idea that I was joining the ranks of those under the protection of the Armed Republic of Max. Thanks for standing up for your players, and for being such an all around brilliant guy.

What a great story. LOL.

Ian Harris (#1034)

Location: Cambridge, UKQuote: "£256.50, exc VAT"Posted: 4426 days ago

Damn you Max Barry. I try to use my Saturday productively. But I'm lured into finding out about Allevia, the bone science specialists, and their trademark.

What's a bit sad for Allevia is this: even if Max had set up Nation States as a bone biology services company (which he hasn't), a software design house (nope) or it wasn't 100% clear that Allevia is a fictional, non-trading entity (it's actually 110% clear), trademark registration is jurisdiction-specific. It only applies to the countries where it's registered.

Registration in Switzerland doesn't carry much weight in Australia. Or in the US, even if Coca Cola launch a bone-strengthening diet drink for sylviculturalists called Allevia Lite.

Or in a new state, formed by a reunited North and South Korea, called the Republic of Allevia (formerly North and South Korea), basing its constitution on the principles of Nation States' very own Allevia.

See how the internet eats your time? Must. Shut. Down.

austin (#2462)

Location: rhode islandQuote: "hmmm...bleh..."Posted: 4426 days ago

Wow. It's just so professional to send someone something as "important" as this, and spell every other word wrong. real convincing Allevia.

Kit (#850)

Location: UKPosted: 4426 days ago

Yes... very interesting max, but whats the premise of your latest story?

Yubi Shines (#1664)

Location: CanadaQuote: "HOPE RIDES ALONE!"Posted: 4426 days ago

Bahahaha! Awesome!

Cathy (#1802)

Location: UKPosted: 4425 days ago

If they don't like a fictional nation being #5 in Google for Allevia they possibly won't find it as amusing as I do to note this article is currently at #8!

Jason C. (#1266)

Location: Drive north from Max's place for about four/five daysQuote: "Be just. And if you can't be just, be arbitrary."Posted: 4424 days ago

Well, that's funny 'n' all (it would be funnier if we didn't expect idiocy from anyone calling themselves "chief operating officer" to make their place on the payroll sound less redundant). I followed your links and am now wondering if you know anything more about the H.R. 683, Trademark Dilution Revision Act. I'd google it myself but I'm at uni and have a damned thesis to research.

Marleen (#2741)

Location: Berlin, GermanyQuote: "I want more expensive shoes in one place than I've ever seen in my whole life."Posted: 4424 days ago

(quote) If they don't like a fictional nation being #5 in Google for Allevia they possibly won't find it as amusing as I do to note this article is currently at #8! (/quote)

Yeah - that was my second thought about this story the other day. I think this backfired badly ar Monsiuer Mainil-Varlet...

Luiz Eduardo (#1601)

Good Job, Barry. I wouldn't have imagined you'd protect your players like that...

Romanar (#2831)

Posted: 4423 days ago

That is funny!

Shawna (#2485)

Location: San Francisco, CAQuote: ""She is a child of ferocious will. She would question the universe if it could answer." - Anon"Posted: 4423 days ago

Amazing. I love it!!

Sven B. (#2792)

Location: Paris, FRQuote: "If you did not make it, don't try to fix it."Posted: 4423 days ago

This is just plain AWESOME !

How can people be so amazingly stupid ?

I'll go with almost every and each other comments : - Mr. N. Jackson have lots of spelling to improve;- I'm going to sign-up again to NationStates and create the Evil Corporate State of Microsoft (or Coca-cola, or somethin')- When will people understand the difference between fiction and reality ? Errr... Might be a trick question, here...

Bony Tony (#1343)

Location: United StatesPosted: 4422 days ago

Wahahaha, thank you Max for the great read. =]

Mike S. (#2839)

Location: San Francisco, CAPosted: 4420 days ago

I'm sure Dr. Mainil-Varlet is happy to see that this article is the new the number five match on Googles allevia results.

Sudi (#2895)

Theo (#2909)

Quote: ""I don't take no stock in dead people"- Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn""Posted: 4384 days ago

I'll bear in mind not to make a nation called "McDonalds Fast Food Resturant"

Spencer (#2936)

Location: BYUQuote: "I'm an X, Y-ing your Z!"Posted: 4373 days ago

Here is something ironic:As of this comment, there are 42 comments. Also because of the fame this has caused Allevia, he/she now has 42 endorsements in NationStates, the game.42 comments and 42 endorsements... weird... but cool.

Aaron (#2960)

Posted: 4360 days ago

if you actually read this...... and some how i expect you to have better things to do then i would like to point out the following-

coca-cola isnt sueing you.....which is odd because The Republic of Coca-cola TM is an actual nation although it appears to be a new one and could just have arisen out of this whole thing.

secondly allevia is a bastard for getting so much PR out of this i secretly think that it was this nation posing as an european buisness sloely for the purpose of getting UN recommendations