Monthly Archives: January 2016

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You know what the mainstream media has been giving Shillary Clinton since the beginning of her campaign? A good ball-washing. They have kissed her ass so much that it is almost amazing. Meanwhile, Bernie Sanders has been trash-talked or ignored by almost every mainstream news outlet. It’s odd. Meanwhile, he is drawing bigger crowds than even Obama did, running against an establishment candidate who has ties that lead to places like Time Warner, who owns CNN. No wonder they kissed her ass so much after the debate. While Bernie was at an event in Iowa, drawing a huge crowd, Clinton was at a fund-raiser for the rich and powerful. Her coffers are being filled by very rich people, who want Clinton to respect the establishment and not fight to change anything.

Clinton’s latest attack ad against Sanders basically says, “his plan won’t work anyway, so vote for me!” Real mature, Shillary. Not to mention stupid. Are you actually promoting the idea to your voters that instead of choosing to go for a candidate we believe in, we should just settle for you? Fuck you, you modern carpet-bagger.

However, that’s not how Cosmopolitan sees it. In a new article, they make the argument that the fact that millennials don’t support Shillary isn’t rooted in the fact that it has been proven that she is a corporate shill. It’s because we’re all a bunch of complete sexists. Of course we are. Here’s a link to their article. Now let’s talk about it.

Gipple is right that many young voters are critical of Clinton. A recent ABC News/Washington Postpoll found that slightly more than half of adults find Clinton dishonest or not trustworthy. Days ahead of the Iowa caucus, she isneck-and-neck with her opponent Bernie Sanders and it’s in large part due to his appeal among younger people.

We’re tired of the establishment and how they are doing NOTHING to combat the corporate welfare state, or the fact that our generation is getting screwed by Clinton’s. We’re tired of corporate candidates who are in the pockets of whoever can buy their votes. But I’m sure that you have some other reason. You go on to say a good deal of people’s issues with her, but that can’t be right. There has to be something else, right? Some other reason? What could that be?

If we’re talking about political revolutions, however, voting a woman into office is pretty damn historic — especially a woman who has been an outspoken advocate for women’s rights long before feminism was en vogue.

Here we go. Don’t vote for someone because of their values. Vote for them because they have a vagina and are feminist.. To hell with the fact that it is OBVIOUS to anyone who pays attention that she is a bought candidate. That she’s part of a system where millionaires and billionaires buy candidates. Screw that. Vote for her because of the vag. Um, how about no? How about I vote because I believe in a candidate? How about that?

Nope! We think she’s dishonest because she’s bought and paid for! What is with this strategy? Is the idea that since you can’t appeal to young voters due to their scrutiny of a corporate candidate, you are just going to try and shame us with calling us sexist? Is that it? Hey Shillary, did you approve this? How much did Cosmo give you for this little ball-washing? This is the last vestige of someone who has NO good arguments, and instead has to just use emotion tactics to try and stree a ship that she no longer has control over back on course. I half-expect this person to say that people who don’t’ support Shillary are misogynists…

That’s why the criticisms wielded against Clinton from the younger generation right now seem unfair and yes, even sexist. As Lena Dunham, who is campaigning for Clinton, told Jill Abramson in the Guardian, “It feels so gendered, even from women, so harshly sexist. We never throw claims of too establishment or too stiff or even too selfish at male politicians. It’s unfair in the deepest sense.”

Nice to know that Shillary has a sexual predator representing her. Nice one, honey. And really? We never brought up too establishment against a male politician? Were you just asleep during the Republican primaries of 2012? I guess so, since pretty much everyone made sport of the fact that Mitt Romney was an establishment candidate. It’s part of the reason that nobody liked him in the Republican electorate. Pretty ALL of the criticisms that are being leveled at Shillary were leveled at Romney. He was boring, bought, and was basically looking out for his corporate donors. Though, this is Cosmo. The day that someone who reads this magazine actually is informed is the day I have a foot-long cock.

It may explain, in part, why she has developed a reputation for being scripted and even dishonest, and it may also explain why she is not willing to take as many risks with her campaign. Her avowal of feminism may not seem so revolutionary in an era where “FEMINIST” blazes behind Beyoncé performing at the VMAs, but let’s not forget that it is, in no small part, thanks to Clinton, that young people today can imagine a woman in the White House.

And there you have it – I’m a woman, and I’m a feminist. Vote for me. Um…how about no? How about I don’t vote for a candidate who has been bought by the Super PACs? How about I vote for a candidate who stands against the millionaires and billionaires? How about I don’t support a candidate who is basically whatever she feels the breeze wants her to be. It blew toward gay marriage being wrong, so she didn’t support that. Now she claims that she always did. It blew toward America wanting to bomb Iraq and Afghanistan, so she supported that. Now she claims that she never did. Shillary is a candidate without her own opinions. All she cares about is being in power.

Iowa and New Hampshire, do NOT let this person become the next candidate. How about we actually fight back against this corporate culture, instead of putting someone into power who will enable it, on the sole reason that she has a vagina. If it was Elizabeth Warren running, I would be supporting her. But she eschewed that to stay in the Senate and keep fighting the good fight. I respect the hell out of that. A female President would be fine, but not this one. This one will just give us more of the same.

In the most recent episode of Real Time with Bill Maher, the host had a rather interesting critique about society where he said that the truth is dead and that it was the Internet that killed it. This is a perspective I have heard a lot from people in his age demographic, but I have to respectfully disagree. Let’s look at Maher’s video, and then we’ll have a discourse about why he is dead wrong once he’s done. I actually respect Maher’s opinion, but I can’t help but think that he’s being more than a little blind on this.

When he talks about all the insane ways that truth dies on the Internet, I am not about to disagree. It’s true. Buzzfeed’s entire existence is predicated on the notion that “truth” is a commodity that can be bought and sold. We live in the age of native advertising, where “news” outlets buy stories from companies that want to hock their shit. Again, look no further than Buzzfeed. And any outlet with an ideological bias can get people clicking. The Young Turks ditched any semblance of trying to fairly report and now quite blatantly kowtows to the extreme-left. The Drudge Report is the same, but in the opposite direction. Truth is a commodity to be bought and sold, but here’s the thing about that – this was going on LONG before the days of the Internet.

Let’s take you back to the year 1997. A woman named Diana, royalty in the UK, was killed in a car wreck in Paris. There honestly wasn’t a lot to say about that story, was there? Sure, there was some speculation about whether or not the paparazzi was involved. It was later discovered that the driver of Diana’s car had been intoxicated, while on anti-depressants. This man should not have been behind the wheel, but he was. And she paid the ultimate price for that. A grim story, but the fact aren’t especially interesting.. Now, enter the cable news outlets. After all, it’s hard for people to actually watch 24 hours worth of news. There just isn’t that much going on in the world. Not to mention, when you have an all-day news outlet, having to talk about news all day, it’s going to run out of things to talk about. That’s understandable. So how do you fill up all that time? Easy – instead of selling facts, you sell a narrative.

This goes back to the dawn of cable news. After they realized that they couldn’t talk about nothing but news all day, it turned into creating news for us to take in. From Princess Di and all the stories about how wonderful she was and how tragic it is, to the shooting at Columbine, where microphones were shoved in the faces of traumatized teenagers. Time after time, cable news was there to milk the tears of the victims. Why? Ratings. Pure and simple. People watch that shit. People watch the hell out of it. Instead of the news being about facts and reporting, it is instead about making a narrative. Reporting facts is boring. Let me tell you why.

Here’s some truth for you –

On April 20th, two boys entered Columbine High School. They were heavily armed and opened fire on the students and teachers. A total of 12 students and teachers were killed, with 21 additional people being injured. This attack was highly planned, with explosives to be set off to divert firefighters and kill even more victims. The two shooters committed suicide after a brief shootout with the police.

See how easy that was? There are the facts. I didn’t create a narrative. I didn’t feel the need to talk about the shooters. I reported the facts and in no way made anything about some kind of bias. But that isn’t what happened, is it?

No, the truth became just a commodity to be traded away by the cable news outlets, who had to make very sure that they got every talking head to go after everyone they possibly could, didn’t they? Video games, bad parenting, and Marilyn Manson sure were demonized, weren’t they? The news stopped reporting facts. Instead, they reported emotions. Then, when that was found to be profitable, they started pushing emotions, so the narrative could look even better. This is what the news became. The force that is supposed to be the vanguard of democracy became pushers for those who wanted to sell a narrative. And it made a fuck-ton of money. Now it gets a fuck-ton of clicks.

You know who the people are who started this trend? Your generation, Bill. The Baby Boomers. Your sad, entitled fucking generation that wants to blame my generation for your problems. Fuck you! I am so tired of listening to people’s my parent’s age talk about how stuck up and entitled we are, when the average person my age has it infinitely worse than you did when you were in my position. Under the tutelage of Reagan, and later on Clinton, massive deregulation happened. See the end result of that? Our economy has stagnated, and all this talk about the Recession being over sure hasn’t made the Job Fairy coming calling for the kids out of college, has it?

If you want to know who killed truth, I want you and everyone in your age group to look in the mirror. After all, if you get down to it, the Internet began as a program used by DARPA. So it truly was your generation that killed truth. No matter what way you slice it. I guess I got a little disrespectful here, but it’s kind of a button issue. One of my favorite professors said that his generation screwed mine, because you wouldn’t make good the change you started in the 60’s. You just let the potential you had ebb away. He was right. Nice work, Bill.

Until next time, a quote,

“We had all the momentum. We were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up a steep hill in Las Vegas and look west. And with the right kind of eyes, you can almost see the high water mark. The place where the wave finally broke, and rolled back.” – Raoul Duke, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

You know Buzzfeed? That SJW, e-drama rag that people still read because stupid people like that crap, and their click-bait fingers get the better of them? Well, it seems that they have a video out that asks men 36 questions. Because this could get a little long, I am going to not belabor any point and just get down to it. Something tells me this will piss me off. After all, it is Buzzfeed. If their hatred of men (especially white, heterosexual men) wasn’t clear to you, it will be soon. The video is easy enough to find, so I won’t link it in here. After all, I am going to be answering all their questions.

36. How does it feel to be the same sex as Donald Trump
Oh, fuck off. How does it feel to be the same sex as Sarah Palin?

35. Why do you hate rom-coms?
Because they suck. I hate The Notebook, and I think that Beyonce’s talent is REALLY overrated. Whitney Houston would own that bitch, back in her younger years.

34. Why do you sit around and make women talk about men in movies, when ya’ll easily just sit around and talk about boobs, for hours?
Oh yeah, man, when I talked about Life is Strange, all I wanted to talk about was Max and Chloe’s titties. For hours! They even had a scene where they’re in a swimming pool in their underwear. So awesome. Wait, what was that? In my review of that episode I talked about how their character development was coming along and how, depending on if you chose to foster a relationship between them or not, it was developing? Well, that kills that theory. Oh, and Lara Croft in the new Tomb Raider! All I did was talk about her titties? Right? What was that? I talked about how she was a vulnerable and interesting character? Stereotype, much? Or maybe you just hang around too many dude-bros in the universities that you so OBVIOUSLY go to.

33. Why do you automatically assume that you won’t like a TV show or movies starring a female lead?
What? Who is this talking about? Dude-bros? I don’t care what gender a protagonist of a story is, so long as they are a good character. My favorite game of 2015 starred two female protagonists, which you had the option to make romantic, if you wanted to. I did, but mostly because I thought that Chloe was SO fucking hot. I dig punk girls. It’s a thing. These stereotypes you have of men are kind of funny.

32. Why are you surprised when women are funny?
What…? Again, who are you talking about here? Citation, please.

31. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with you when we hook up?
So, you’re admitting that you have sex with men for the express purpose of getting your rocks off and couldn’t care less about them as people? That’s telling. I, for one, actually want to know the person I am in bed with. Forgive me if I have questions or thoughts, your grace.

30. Why can’t I sleep with as many people as I want to without being judged?
Go ahead. I don’t care, one way or the other. Sleep with whoever you want. I don’t give two fucks about you, so do what you want. That’s the real equality – apathy. When I don’t give a fuck about your sex life anymore than another person’s. You add on that men are congratulated for it. Yeah, until you look at how easy it is for a girl to cry rape if she suddenly decides she doesn’t want it. There was a great point by Mercedes Carrera in a Drunken Peasants episode about that.

29. Why do you consider a woman a tease if she doesn’t sleep with you after three dates, but a slut if she sleeps with you after one?
Who are the men and where do you find them? Do you just find the first guy at the bar or something and gather research based on one sample? My guess is that the hipster loser who wrote all this for you is just trying to make a point. Badly. I don’t consider a woman a tease if she doesn’t sleep with me after three dates. I don’t date. I think dating is stupid. I just go out to grab a burger with someone and see if things happen. Or at least I used to, before I lost my ability to love after how bad my last relationship ended. Girl has talent. Anyway, this point is stupid.

28. In what world does no mean yes?
I’m gonna let you ladies in on a little something – evil people don’t care if you say no! Although, you social justice types have changed the nature of consent to the point that now, if a woman never says no, and participates in the act of sex in every way, but then suddenly regrets it the next day, then it’s still rape. In what world is that cool?

27. Why do you say that women are “too emotional” to be leaders, then justify cat-calling by saying that men just can’t control themselves?
Here’s a term for you to learn, everyone – non-sequitur! In what world does women being leaders in ANY way correlate to men cat-calling? All fucking ears, ladies.

26. Why do you think that just because you’re nice to me, I owe you my body?
What?! Who thinks that way? Again, so much stereotype. I don’t think you owe me anything, you judgmental bitch. It would be nice if I am nice to you and you are nice back, but I know that you think the Golden Rule doesn’t apply to you. You are a third-wave feminist, after all.

25. Would you EVER send an unsolicited dick-pic?
Nope. Though I wouldn’t send one anyway. Not that you need to know, but I’m not that proud of what I got…

24. Why do you think it’s okay to make harassing comments about women, but when it’s your sister, it’s not okay?
Boy, you do NOT get how poorly my sister and I get along. But that’s beside the point. I don’t make harassing comments about women, and I don’t it’s cool to be a jerk no matter what gender it is. Something that you clearly don’t know, considering that your entire video is predicated on every man hearing this being a complete piece of shit.

23. How does it feel to interrupt me when I’m in the middle of making a point at a meeting?
Never been at a meeting before. For real, I’ve never worked for a company that has a meeting. Though, I can think that if I am at a meeting, I wouldn’t interrupt anybody. I would wait for them to finish talking, and interject if I feel that I have something to add to the conversation. It’s called courtesy. Heard of it, Ms. Let’s Demonize Men.

22. Why do you have to sit with your legs so wide open? I get that you have balls, but I don’t stand around with my arms wide open for my boobs
Try having balls for a while and tell me how comfortable it is with your legs shoved together. By the way, I only sit with my legs far apart when I know there is enough space. If someone needs some space, I move. That’s called courtesy. Something you wouldn’t know thing 1 about. Do you think that every guy on the metro or a bus is just sitting with his legs as open as possible? Yeah, because no woman has EVER put her bags in the seats next to her. Nope. Not to mention, Your arms don’t directly close around your boobs. They are to the side of them. Closing them around your boobs sounds kind of uncomfortable. Our legs, on the other hand, do close around our balls when we sit. This comparison is retarded.

21. Why are women perceived as the weaker sex?
Citation, please. I mean, I do believe that there are real differences between men and women. It’s science, after all. But I don’t think that women are weak just because they are women. Same as I don’t think guys are tough because they are men.

20. Why is it so bad to show your emotions?
I AM MAN! I EAT MEAT AND PUNCH WOMEN AND SHOW NO EMOTION! BECAUSE EMOTION IS FOR FAGGOTS! *punches woman sucking dick* There, was that stereotypical enough for you?

19. Why are you always trying to prove your masculinity to me?
What? Citation, please. In what way am I trying to prove my masculinity? An example, bitch.

18. Why the fuck isn’t it lady-like to cuss?
My current closest lady-friend swears like a sailor. Especially when she calls me up when she’s blitzed. I love that. I learned to swear the way I do from my mother. Thanks, mom! I love you, bitch!

17. Why is it your first instinct to doubt women who are sexually violated or raped?
Are you fucking kidding ME?! Wow. Fuck you, lady. I do take this sort of thing VERY seriously. However, unlike the university that you so obviously never left, I don’t believe that it should be guilty until proven innocent. I believe that it should be investigated, and the police should be involved. And when all the evidence is gathered, then we can have a trial and prove guilt or innocence. If believing that accused sexual predators or rapists should get a fair trial is distrust or belief that you’re lying, then so be it. Forgive me for believing that the law should mean something. My bad.

16. Why do you assume that woman’s angry because she’s on her period?
I don’t. But, let’s be honest, women do often get piss-y when they are. Stereotypes exist for a reason. That isn’t all the time, or even most of it, but it is a factor. Let’s just be honest about that.

15. Why do you think that women who wear makeup are false-advertising?
Aforementioned lady-friend shows off her makeup to me in pics all the time. Girl has talent. Maybe, instead of lumping all men together in the dude-bro category, you could not just make really stupid assumptions about me.

14. Why isn’t it weird that there is a room full of white men that are making decisions about what I can and can’t do with my body?
Because not very many women run for public office. You want to affect the way the government deals with women’s issues? Cool. Run for office. Get in the House or the Senate. Although, then you have to play the political game. You could run populist like Bernie Sanders, but see, he has a lifetime of being in office and fighting for what he believes is right. You have making videos on Buzzfeed. Good luck. Oh, and forgive me for putting the onus of why there are not more women in office on women. I know, how sexist of me. Believing that women are capable of doing great things like being in government. I’m such a misogynist.

13. Why are straight guys so obsessed with lesbians?
Why are straight women so obsessed with gay men? And I’m talking about the flaming queens here.

12. How does it feel to get kicked in the balls?
How does it feel to get punched in the tits, as hard as humanly possible? You might get some idea then.

11. You ever get tired of trying to be manly all the time?
How am I trying to be manly all the time? I’m just being me. I don’t care if I’m manly or not. I yam who I yam, and that’s all that I yam. Who are these men that you believe are trying to constantly prove their manliness? Again, dude-bros? Yeah, this proves that all of you are just in college, because out in the real world, there are all kinds.

10. Why are you so afraid of gender equality?
Hello, Strawman Stereotypical Guy. I didn’t know you’d be here today.

9. Why do I deserve to be paid less than you?
You’re not. Especially since right now I am between jobs. I just applied for something really awesome today. It is a high-paying job that is boring as fuck, which I think makes me a shoe-in for it. Boring jobs are the ones that people don’t want. I think I’m really qualified for it, so I am stoked. But yeah, this wage gap that you all bring up is a myth. The whole .77 on the dollar is bullshit, because it only factors man and woman and the money they get. There are other factors. Like the fact that women don’t get into the STEM fields as much as men. And before you make the argument about sexism there, look up Mercedes Carrera’s channel on YouTube. She made a great video about #TakeBacktheTech. That puts all your bullshit into perspective. You don’t deserve to make as much as a brain surgeon. Sorry, Toots.

8. In what world does 77 cents equal a dollar?
I just called out that bullshit, so let’s keep going.

7. In what world does 68 cents equal a dollar?
Equally bullshit

6. How is that fair?
Those factors are based around statistics that just factored in – men, women. There are a TON of variables to consider. Like women who go on maternity leave. The fact that women, statistically, work less hours than men. The fact that women often have families. The fact that women who do go into STEM fields often go into specialty ones. Like women who become doctors going into family medicine rather than neurosurgery. This statistic you give is bullshit. Stop trying to shame men for the fact that women don’t take the initiative. Part of that is on you. After all, you tell women how uninviting and sexist the STEM fields are, would they want to go in it . Again, look at Mercedes’ video about it. It’s mind-boggling how ignorant these people are.

5. Why are you intimidated by a woman who makes more money than you?
I’m not. There are plenty of them. My mother has worked as a secretary in the school district for almost my entire life. She make a damn good salary, and she’s earned it. What makes you think that I think a woman making more money than me is intimidating? I think that the fact that Kim Kardashian makes a shit-ton of money for her giant, fake ass is bullshit, but then I remember the country she lives in, and it all makes sense.

4. Why are opinionated women perceived as bitches?
That depends on how they carry themselves. Are they rude and unable to be talked to in a civilized manner? (I’m looking at you, Big Red) Then yeah, I see that woman as a bitch. But one of my favorite girly-mates is in law school, and she has a ton of opinions about stuff. I have spent many hours sitting in my car in the McDonald’s parking lot, eating fries with her and talking about life. Those are great. So I don’t think that women are bitchy because they have opinions. I think women who are rude for no reason and won’t listen to other people’s opinions are bitches

3. Why aren’t you speaking up when you hear your friends, behind closed doors, making jokes that are offensive to women?
I had a lady-friend who made this funny joke to a chick who was mad at her, “oh, go put your tampon back in, bitch!” She made that joke to the woman’s face. She also make a joke to me that women can’t be Presidents because they would be bombing other countries a few days every month. What should I have said to her?

2. Why are you so afraid of recognizing your own privilege?
*jerk-off motion*

Either I missed the other question, or they forgot about it. Whatever. This was basically – let’s find the most offensive stereotypes about men and ask them about it, by Buzzfeed. There was a great video about this company, and I think I’ll close out on a quote from that.

Until next time, a quote,

“So that’s Buzzfeed. Probably the most corrupt and horrifying fake-news company on the planet. Buzzfeed – fake news that you think is real!” – “Jonah Peretti”, If Buzzfeed Were 100% Honest With Us

For those of you who don’t know, the other day, a douche-monkey named Atheism is Unstoppable’s Twitter account was suspended. Again. This happens a lot. This guy has a problem controlling his mouth when it wants to say specific things. What things – doxxing. This dude has a bad habit of doxxing people, and it has gotten him suspended more than once. He’s also had a problem with his YouTube channels being subjected to false-flagging campaigns. I am bringing both of these up for a reason. See, TJ, aka The Amazing Atheist did a video on his TJ Does Life channel (linked here) where he defended AIU’s ability to say whatever he wants, and believes that he should not lose his ability to speak because of it. Needless to say, this is contentious. And I thought that I would interject, knowing full well that he will NEVER read the opinion of some nobody on WordPress, even though I do plan to send this his way. As I said, he won’t read it, but maybe somebody will.

Let’s talk about the false-flagging campaigns first. I am 100% against them. I would never, ever flag a video because I don’t like it . If a video was doxxing someone, then that is somewhere where I can see it needs to be flagged. I am the kind of person who takes doxxing very, very seriously. I believe that it should be cracked down upon, because nobody should have their private information leaked onto the Internet. That’s private for a reason. Why did I feel the need to say this? Because I am going to tell you all something.

I am absolutely for the right of people to speak as they wish. Free speech is sacrosanct, to me. You should have the right to say whatever dumb-fuck thought enters your mind, no matter how inflammatory it is. I will fight to the death to defend the right of crazy Fundies or crazy feminists to speak their mind. I may despise both groups, but I will fight for that right all the same. One needs to get that out there before I go to the second part of this. To be honest, this isn’t going to be a long post. I don’t have too much to say. I wouldn’t even be making this if, on the last episode of The Drunken Peasants Podcast (linked here) they hadn’t elaborated on TJ’s statements, with Paul’s Ego chiming in as well. This is why I don’t live in an echo chamber. It was nice to have people who I don’t always agree with making statements that I definitely didn’t. I thought that especially Paul’s Ego was a little crass on this. But it was worth listening to, and it is a pity that I am some nobody on WordPress, because I wish I could engage with them in civil discourse.

Here’s the thing – Twitter is not a free speech zone. Why? Simple – because they are not part of the government. If Twitter was a government subsidized company or under the government’s tutelage, then yes, I would say that they should not be able to silence people’s ability to speak. But that’s not what’s happening here. They are a private business, and they can set the rules however they want, and interpret them however they want. If that means that tomorrow my account is suspended because I’m an atheist and have said atheist things, or that I have sent snarky things to feminists who all have me blocked, would that bug me? Sure. But I can’t call foul because of free speech. That isn’t what Twitter is. It’s a private service and they call the shots. Sometimes that means that companies are unfair.

The guys at DP seem to believe that being libertarian means that you’re conservative. But that’s not how it is. I am a member of the Libertarian Left in this country. That’s where I am on the political spectrum. I believe that any company that pays its taxes doesn’t break the law should be allowed to do business with whomever they like. The whole thing about “no shirt, no shoes, no service,” that’s how I tend to see it. Twitter can make the rules as they like. Don’t like it? Well, the Chans exist for a reason. There you can be as nuts as you like. And if one Chan bans you, there are tons of others.

TJ, you will never read this, but I hope that someone connected to you does, and maybe they can see where I’m coming from. Do I believe that AIU’s account should have been suspended for doxxing? Yes. I believe there should be a three strikes policy in respect to this sort of thing. Three strikes, you are banned from Twitter. If you can’t learn your shit and stop doc-dropping people, then you pay the price. But that’s just my opinion. I don’t make the rules. Twitter isn’t a part of the government. And that’s what I have to say about that.

Until next time, a quote,

“Good company and good discourse are the sinew of virtue.” -Izaak Walton

Wanna know something funny about modern third-wave feminism – it is SO fucking sexist. Not just against men, although there is that. But it is also sexist against women too. In the extreme! Modern feminism is the most demeaning belief system I have ever seen, because it basically says, “hey ladies! You are so oppressed in every way! You have no agency in your lives, sexually or otherwise! All you are is just a tool of men!” You go to a high-powered career woman and tell her that, I figure that she’s going to give you at the very least a very ugly look. I know a gal who, if you called her a tool of anyone, she’s going to punch you in the face. That woman has a mean right-hook. I would know. I’ve been on the receiving end more than once. Anyway, modern feminism demeans women.

So when I see them making an article talking about the new Final Fantasy VII remake, I am inclined to think that I am about to listen to a long and rambling list from them all about why women are lesser in comparison to men. This article is from The Mary Sue, a lovely and totally biased and echo chamber publication that I know never reads any feedback that isn’t from the echo chamber. So here’s a link to the article, now let’s talk about it.

There was a time in my life where I would have said Final Fantasy VII was the best game I’d ever played. I’ve finished it more times than I can count, I used to own as much merch as my poor display cabinet could possibly hold, and I’d rarely be able to play a JRPG without thinking “FFVII did it better.”

Why does EVERY feminist article begin like this? They have to make sure to establish that they are gamers, in a way that is so blatantly forced. After all, among people who are fans of RPGs and JRPGs, this is a contentious issue. A lot of people think that the love of Final Fantasy VII is overhyped. I myself think that while it is an excellent game, people’s putting it on a pedestal is a little much. Personally, I think that Final Fantasy X is better. But that’s just me, and I own that. I’m fine with that. So yeah, I am incredulous of this person’s love of it, just because this seems like they are going out of their way to make this a point to remember.

But time and experience changes everything, and on my last playthrough a few weeks ago, everything wrong with the game became painfully evident.

Looks like someone discovered third-wave feminism recently, and it colored their outlook on something they loved. There’s a great article in The Onion about feminism and enjoying things that I recommend you check out (linked here). It’s so fitting.

You might be thinking that I realized that I was a prisoner of nostalgia, or that the gameplay aged terribly.

Valid criticisms, but I know that won’t be the case.

What’s happened in our industry over the past year has opened my eyes to the problems in games, and that included my formerly beloved FFVII. I look at Tifa and realize now how over-sexualized she is; less a character and more a caricature of womanhood made to pander to teenage boys that can’t appreciate a fighting woman unless she’s also a sex toy.

Where do I begin…? For starters – yes, because lesbian and bisexual women don’t exist. Unless they can be your shield. I am just baffled at how much these people are excluded from conversations like this. Social justice apologists take the position, “but Lucien, they weren’t designed for them!” Your point? My gay as the day is long lady-friend loves all kinds of female characters in games that weren’t designed to appeal to her. Does that invalidate her opinion? If we are going to break everything down to what it was designed to appeal to, then Gregory House on House M.D. appeals only to misanthropic atheists, right? Oh, wait, I have a very religious friend who likes his character and wishes she could debate him about religion. If he were real, that is. So let’s circumvent the apologists by saying that if you are going to exclude women who are sexually attracted to other women from this conversation, then just admit that you’re prejudice and let’s move on from there..

Next, so all of her character traits just up and vanish because she’s sexy. Am I the only person who sees how sexist that is? These people claim that I and those like me just break her down to a sex object. No I don’t. None of us gamers do. You know who I see doing that – you! Because you have chosen to believe that everything about this character means nothing because of how she looks. If ANYONE is eschewing all the traits about her in place of how she looks, it’s you. It’s always you! It’s always feminists! Time and time again, I see feminists doing this shit. All in the name of “equality,” of course. Naturally. Because if their sexism can be wrapped up in a good cause, then it’s fine, right?

I see Tifa as an old friend of Cloud. They made a promise together, and she has been waiting to see it through. She did kind of end up getting friend-zoned because of Aerith, but that’s how it goes. She is a strong fighter, but her character is weak on defense. A character you have to use sparingly, but can be quite the hitter. You see her and, “titties! Titties in a video game! That’s wrong!” Yeah, and I bet you are the same person who sees a girl walking down the street in her underwear with the word “slut” painted on her stomach and see that as empowering. Fucking hypocrite.

I no longer chuckle at the hatred towards Yuffie, because it’s not only unwarranted but serves to further detriment the stories of minorities and those that want to save their culture from unrestricted capitalist growth (more on this later).

Oh wow. So, generalize, much? After all, where is this hatred of Yuffie? Citation, please! She was popular enough to end up in Kingdom Hearts right from the beginning. There is a TON of fan-art out there. Sure, Rule 34 applies, but still. But you are forcing this conclusion on us to make the argument that we hate minorities and want to tie this in to “unrestricted capitalist growth.” By the way, I am NOT reading more about this later. Listening to someone who clearly doesn’t know shit about anything try and explain capitalism is like watching a channel dedicated to knitting (linked here).

Lastly, and most offensively, is the treatment of women in the game. Cid is an alcoholic (what do you think he meant by “tea” in that notorious scene?) abuser of his assistant, Shera, and there’s a silent endorsement on the part of the other characters when they refuse to acknowledge or confront him about his disgusting actions.

Yeah, Cid has flaws. Do you just want characters who have none? Is that it? I think back to that “game” that Sarkeesian pitched in her Damsels in Distress videos. A protagonist without character or flaws just saving the world. Cid has flaws. Maybe he should be called out on it. But you tell me – if you know someone who is a drunk with a temper problem, how would you confront them? It’s not an easy thing to tackle. Character flaws serve to humanize them. That’s why we like them. Frank in Life is Strange is a drug dealer and kind of a scumbag, but you find that underneath all that there is a sensitive side that wants to do the right thing by the girl he loved, and just live a life where he can be comfortable. There are letters that indicate that Frank and Rachel Amber’s relationship was more than a little ugly, at times, but it was clear that he was trying to be good to her. A good game can not shy away from the dark stuff, but make still part of a larger part of who they are.

And Aerith? Probably gaming’s most celebrated and best-known refrigerator trope.

Has someone been watching Anita…?

One of the few female characters in the game who is not sexualized, whose powers are non-violent, who has a respect for culture and growth, and who has actual character development is killed in an extremely brutal way just to serve as a motivation for Cloud, who is a literal blank slate in the game.

Wow. What a wonderful way to just ignore the so much about the characters. Aerith was killed trying to save the Planet She wants to get the materia, Holy. With it, she can stop Sephiroth. But he kills her to stop her from getting it. She didn’t know that she already had it, which makes the whole thing that much more tragic. And Cloud is a blank slate? Yeah, I guess, if you ignore the entire game. Makes me think that you never played it. He’s a soft-spoken, very misanthropic character. He is part of Barret’s rebellion because he is looking for a battle against Shinra, and because Tifa asked him to be. He can’t remember his past, and what he does remember is a lie. Cloud is a depressing character, but he still has character. Aerith’s death wasn’t “a motivation,” you ignorant fake. It’s a tragic ending to a very well-loved character, and shows just how much of a monster Sephiroth is, killing a defenseless person in cold blood.

I think I’m done with this. It’s clear that this person can’t critically analyze a game. The article goes on to imply that Hojo raped somebody. Citation? There is none. Of course there’s not. It’s The Mary Sue, after all. If they were able to cite sources, what a wonderful world it would be. They just want to shove their viewpoint in your face, and have that be that. The post goes on to talk about how Tifa is nothing but a “fighting fucktoy.” Hi, Sarkeesian-groupie. Again, can’t help but think that it’s YOU who gives her that designation, not me. But that’s none of my business. Then she goes on to say that Yuffie’s culture needs to be celebrated. Okay, so her fictitious culture in a fictitious universe needs to be celebrated more. Alright, I guess. She says little about her people, because they are a very shadowy bunch. There’s a reason for that, if memory serves. Oh, and she then makes a point that us EVIL people in western capitalist societies are denigrating Asian people or some stupid bullshit.

Am I the only one who finds it so weird that these people, who claim to love gaming so much, want to strip everything away and shove it into archetypes that they can hate ad nauseum? I can’t be the only one. To Heck with context or characters or any of that. Third-wave feminism works by just finding something you don’t like about something, and generalizing it so that everything about that work is about that. Fucking genius. No wonder these people have to stay in university settings. Out in the real world, we laugh these pompous little prigs off-stage.

The first game of 2016, and hot damn is this showing that this year is going to be awesome. Last year was one of the best in gaming, and this year has shown that gaming companies aren’t about to slouch. They want to make gamers happy, and there are some people on the Indie scene with crazy ideas that are all kinds of fun. Like this game. Made by the same people who made Braid, this is a game that had some people a little riled up. Partly because of how it looks and how it seems to play, and also partly because of the fact that while it isn’t a full-priced game, it isn’t super cheap. However, take it from me, this game is worth every penny. I am still having so much fun, going through and solving all the puzzles. There are hours and hours worth of brain-taxing content here. If Bloodborne was a game where the difficulty came from the unforgiving combat, this is a game where the difficulty comes form the utter lack of hand-holding and being thrown out head-first into a massive island landscape to figure out puzzles that are more than literal. Let’s talk about it.

The plot of this game is almost nil. Or I should say, you start this game having NO idea what the plot is. You wake up as a nameless and faceless protagonist, in some kind of underground structure. You work your way to the surface and then have this huge island to explore. It’s clear that some kind of cataclysmic event happened here, but what that event was and who the people here are is something that you have to sort out on your own. And the clues you get are more than a little vague. This island is strange in so many ways. The mystery is part of this place’s charm. However, the plot is nil for a reason. This game isn’t about that.

Let’s talk about the visuals – this game is beautiful! It’s very minimal as well. The color and depth is so nice to look at. It is so pleasant to wander this island and take in all there is to see. There are some truly wonderful environments that will make you want to pause and take in the scenery. Which is good, because this game’s feel is laid back in the extreme. There is no rush to do anything, and that’s fine by me. It’s a puzzle game. I like that it lets you sort things out. However, with this game’s visual beauty, there is a dark undertone. Something was going on, and you have to think about it as you go along, because these puzzles are tied in to elements of this world. Not much more I can say about it than that.

Another great thing about this game is the fact that there is NO music of any kind. At all. That goes with the fact that this is a chill game. It’s a zen game. It’s the kind of game that you can take at your own pace, and I love that. There’s no rush. Hell, you can even walk away and come back to puzzles as you like, which is good because that decreases the rage-quit thoughts when you’re stuck. And you will get stuck.

Which leads me to the game’s primary drive – the puzzles. This game is hard. Really hard. And it does NOT hold your hand. You are given a very brief tutorial about the controls, and left to figure things out on your own. There are some places that introduce you to the various puzzle types, but they don’t have any help. I will admit, and this does shame me, I have gone to the Internet once or twice. There are even some secret puzzles you can find, which are even harder than the others. The more you do these puzzles, the more of this island opens up. Everything incentives exploration. These puzzles merge so seamlessly with the environment that it just adds to the zen feeling.

There isn’t much more to say about this game, honestly. Is it worth the price? Absolutely! If you love puzzle games, or you want a game to chill out to on a quiet evening home from work or just a weekend where you want to let your mind wander, you owe it to yourself to see just what this game has to offer.

The drink tastes terrible. It’s the only thing I can think about as I am staring at the firelight, reflecting through said drink. It’s terrible. Nothing about it tastes good. I was told that this was smooth. It’s not. It’s absolutely dreadful, and I want nothing to do with it. What compelled him to say that the drink was good? Are her taste buds not working? I didn’t know, and I didn’t care. All I knew is that the drink was fucking terrible, and I didn’t want this to be the last drink of the light. What a terrible night.
It’s so quiet now. After years of people having the opportunity to get ready, now it was the night when it would happen. The last night for us all. The last night that any person could possibly do anything. Because at roughly 6 pm tomorrow night, every single one of us would be dead. That’s not an if, mind you. It’s a fact. We are all going to die tomorrow night. Our time in this universe is going to be over, and that’s how it is. There have been the missions where NASA and whoever tried to find a way around it, but it didn’t work. I mean, where the fuck was anyone going to go? Any mission to another planet was contingent on getting shit from Earth. There was no possible way that we would survive. Maybe we could have, if the government hadn’t fucked NASA’s budget. But we did, and now it’s too late. Maybe we could have had sustainable colonies on Mars. The ones that were set up when the truth was known are a joke. This would have taken years. Now it’s over. And here I am, drinking this terrible drink. What a way to end a life.
“What’s it going to be like?” he asked.
I looked over at her. “I don’t know. From what they’ve said, it will be this insane gravitational force. The are facing the incoming planet will have all the incoming gravity smashing them. They will be crushed in seconds. All the plant and animal life will be turned to mush very quickly. The atmosphere will cease to exist, so all of us will suffocate. Then the impact will happen. I hear that, in space, it will look like the planet is slowing down as it approaches. We will apparently cause untold damage to the incoming planet, with some theorizing that it will be like what they believe happened to create our moon.”
Taking another drink, he nodded. “Grim.”
“Tell me about it.”
“So, are you afraid of it?”
I shook my head. “What’s to be afraid of? We’re already feeling the forces of gravity acting on us. The impact will happen, but I guarantee that we’ll all be dead long before we get there. Hell, most people are already dead. We’re just waiting out the inevitable.” That’s when my gaze went up. I looked at the sky and saw the massive shadow. By now, it had blocked out most sunlight to places. The bulk of the planet was freezing. Hence the fire in here.
She looked up as well. “It’s just weird, you know? That this is how it ends. I was always hoping that it would be something a little more…cathartic, you know? Like if it’s nuclear holocaust, then at least it makes some sense. We’re a violent, deranged species, so we have a violent end. But nope. It’s just a cosmic hit-and-run. We get obliterated and that’s it. No rhyme or reason.”
A small chuckle from me. “Makes you wonder what the evangelicals and whatnot are thinking now, doesn’t it? I bet it’s lots of ‘we’re about to be in heaven,’ isn’t it? All sorts of stuff about how God is coming for them. Yeah, because this is TOTALLY how the Book of Revelations talked about this, isn’t it? A massive planetary body smacking into us and turning this planet to rubble. 10,000 years of human evolution wiped from the face of the planet in a matter of seconds. That sure does sound like God had his hands on the trigger.”
His head was shaking. “I can’t help but wonder, you know? Like, what if we are all wrong? What if God is out there, watching us?”
A cold look comes to my face. “What if? I’ll tell you what if – if there is a God, that means that he is watching, right now, as a celestial body looks to obliterate his creation. And rather than poke his almighty nose out and give us a chance to live, he is totally fine letting this celestial body kill us all. His creation is going to die tomorrow, and he doesn’t have the courtesy to even tell us that it’s going to be okay. Yeah, if there is a God, he can go fuck himself right up his all-powerful asshole. Fuck that guy. Like Carlin said, if there is a God, he has to be a man. No woman would let their children end up this way.”
Long moments of somber came as I finished my drink. Thought about leaving, but where am I going to go? It’s cold out. I could make it back to my place, but it would be freezing there. Here there’s a fire. I can at least wait out tomorrow in some comfort, rather than the insane rioting that has destroyed all of civilization.
Civilized society crumbled about a month ago. Governments fell to violence. The US government just up and left. They figured that it didn’t matter anymore, so why bother trying to keep law and order. Massive gangs of violence, rape and murder, as humanity stares down the barrel with absolutely no hope of escape. That’s us. That’s where we are. So I could get home, just to wait out this in the freezing cold, and potentially being murdered on my way there. Or stripped naked and raped, then murdered. Fun thoughts. Very, very fun.
“Wanna fuck?” She asked.
It was tempting. “Nah. Not my point in it, really.”
He winked at me. “Come on, no need for condoms. Not like STDs or pregnancy mean anything. What else are we going to do?”
That’s when it occurred to me. “Let’s start a bonfire.”
Confusion. “What?”
“Let’s take out all the wood shit we don’t need onto the lawn and start a huge bonfire. Let’s burn the fucking world down and enjoy our one last night being able to look up at the stars. You can’t take it with you, after all. Right?”
A smile came to her face, and he nodded. “Damn straight! Let’s do it!”

The whole operation took about half an hour. We destroyed so much unbelievably-valuable furniture. Priceless paintings that were done by people who wanted to leave a legacy that would last forever. All kinds of books that were old and relics of a time gone by. It all went to burn. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The first got so fucking bit. We kept finding things to burn! We were throwing in cupboard drawers, shelving units, whatever we could find. Our massive fire to the heavens lit up the night in a way that nothing else did.
That’s when it happened. From the woods, people came. They weren’t looking for violence. They were looking to not be alone tonight. All of them wanted to know that there were people out there that were alive, like the. Almost all of them brought more things to burn. In fact, some went to get more things. After all, why bother respecting any object anymore? Made me wish I could go to the Louvre and get all that artwork and throw it on the pyre. I wanted to make every single amazing thing that humanity had done burn, so that any celestial being could know that I hate its fucking guts. But more than that, in this night, every last one of us was alive.
Around that fire, so much happened.. Talking, drinking, love-making. No one cared who or way. There was no cause. People who had spent their whole lives never testing boundaries were getting drugged out of their minds and participating in orgies. Because why not? What did any of us have to lose? Even I got in on the fun. Hallucinogens while looking up at the looming death threat. It was amazing. The most amazing night I could have ever imagined. If only it never had to end.

But it did have to. The next morning, I was up, watching the sun rise for the very last time. My companion came over, and she put his arm around me. I kissed her softly, pulling back and seeing his face.
“See you on the other side,” I said.
“Wouldn’t go anywhere without you, sugar.”

Until next time, a quote,

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” -Mark Twain