Turning 50: Your Nike Slide Years

I'm just about to turn 51 - what do you call these 50-plus years? Not Middle Aged. Not Senior. My friends who've turned to stretchy pants and loose cardigans call them the "Eileen Fisher Years." Funnily enough, I've started to dress the same as a teenage boy. My 15 year-old son wears Nike Slides with black socks and they look so comfy I'm decided get some too. So: The Nike Slide Years?

1. You go to the exhibition of photographer Cindy Sherman featuring her rendition of sad, aging Hollywood hopefuls. Note to self: best go a bit easier on the lip liner and bronzer.

2. You go to the same restaurant four weekends in a row. Well, you just know what you're getting then, don't you? Lovely.

Sugarcane rolls every Sunday. Photo Jody Brettkelly

3. Your friend tells you about her old Mum playing (seated) balloon volleyball with her friends and you think it's sounds a bit of a lark. Cocktail in hand of course.

4. You have a Black Tie event coming up. Instead of buying this Laundry dress, you decide to just rent it. The way your bat flaps are progressing, you won't be able to wear it again anyway.

Photo: Jody Brettkelly

5. You start to explain the bizarre premise of Hope Springs to your friend: "Meryl Streep has been married to Tommy Lee Jones for 30 years and they haven't had sex for the last five years!!!!"

Your friend replies: "Yeah... and??"

6. You spent hours gazing out at this little touch of flower-sparkle in pots. Lovely.

Photo: Jody Brettkelly

7. The weekends heralds a wee bit of some sun. (Very) begrudgingly you shave your legs.

Photo: Jody Brettkelly

8. At your hip hop class this morning, your teacher leads you in a dance incorporating a move on the floor. Scrambling to your knees, you call out to the rest of the class: "Man still down. Carry on, I'll join you on the 4th count!"