Rick Perry

In a twisted way, it’s nice to know that America isn’t the only country filled with delusional bigots who find it necessary to pick on a minority group as a means of reaffirming their position in society. The President of Belarus, Alexander Lukashenko, declared it was “better to be a dictator than gay.” In terms of comebacks, this schoolyard defense is known as the “straight flush.” But he’s not the only president, or presidential hopeful, to toss the G word around as a blanket response to political critique. Check out some of the more memorable quotes in the recent past from more familiar names.

We all know about Rick Perry’s slaughter on human decency–now the most unliked video on Youtube. I hope every time he talks about gay people in the American Military a gay man gets married to somebody he loves. But Rick Perry’s not the only person running ridiculous ads in the Republican primaries. Sure, they might not be as outwardly as homophobic, but it still terrifies me that these people could become president (well, except Herman Cain–how we miss him). Oh, hell, it scares me that these videos were even made in the first place! Here are five of the best:

Rick “Hair Helmet” Perry – he’s everywhere lately! (But we’re with Jon Stewart: why he gets so much attention while consistent third-placer Ron Paul gets nil is beyond us.) So we’re overdosing a bit on the big P – and the more we hear, the more frightened we get. Check out this YouTube clip where he struggles to answer a legitimate question: why does Texas continue to teach abstinence-only programs when they don’t work, since Texas has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the nation? (The Young Turks give the clip some context.) You’ll get serious flashbacks to George W: the little laugh, the head shake, the grasping at straws. And no, that’s not your video buffering — he actually freezes several times as his brain tries to defy rationality and logic. If that’s not enough of Perry’s ass-backwards views on sexuality for you, check out the section on homosexuality from his 2008 book “On My Honor,” his defense of the Boys Scouts’ “American values” (read: prejudice).