The Making of Me

Today is the day – I’m giving you a lot of me. Not only that, but I am sharing just a bit of what I’ve been through to make me who I am today. To start, here are five quick facts about me:

I grew up in the small town of Forest City, North Carolina (before eventually settling in the even smaller town of Duncan, South Carolina)

I’m a middle child (one older sister, one younger brother)

Single-parent home. My mom is the best parent I could ever ask for.

My sister was the first in our family to enroll + graduate from college. Together, we are the first generation of college grads in our family history.

A whole lot of struggle makes for a whole lot of triumph! And that’s all you get for now.

I want to take a moment to talk about perseverance. I can’t exactly pinpoint the moment when I decided I had made enough excuses, but I can tell you that the life I was destined for at the age of 15 or 16 isn’t the life I am living now. There was a pivotal moment in my life when I determined my circumstances didn’t have to define me. I faced a lot of trauma in my childhood, and I still struggle with some of it, but I do not allow obstacles from my past to determine my future. You see, you can’t just blame every single thing that happens to you on your past or how you were brought up. I’ve heard people talk about “daddy issues” (usually directed at women, including myself) being the reason they are the way they are, but who exactly is raising the men who abandon their children? I believe some women never properly healed from their own traumas and therefore continue the cycle without even knowing it. Healing starts from the inside out, and once you begin the healing process, you become empowered.

Once a woman sees her strength and removes the “victim” hat from her head, she makes room for a crown that demands respect. Not only that, she recognizes there is power in numbers, so she helps her struggling sister or friend. The way I see it, there is no such thing as competition. We all have the common goal of doing as well or better than our parents did, and that begins within. One of my favorite lyricists, Lauryn Hill, quoted it perfectly, “how you gonna win when you ain’t right within?” We need to remember her words as we navigate this world we live in today. I’m all for lifting women up and empowering them, but they must first know their abilities, strengths and weaknesses. If a narcissist cannot accept the fact that they see others as second-class, there will be no improvement. There should be no comparison because we are all human fighting the same fight. When we know who we are, we can truly thrive because we are not concerned with what the next person has going on. We are simply focused on our goals, dreams and future endeavors. This includes bettering the world, our children, and improving our families by uprooting past transgressions and addressing previous hurt or pain so that our children will not have to carry our burdens.

How you gonna win when you ain’t right within?

-Lauryn Hill

If you don’t have any goals, I challenge you to come up with at least three of them today. This small gesture can change your mindset in the biggest way. Once you have written your goals down (yes, really write them), say them out loud, post them on your social media feeds, feel free to even send them to me. Hold yourself accountable! Whether it’s making it to work ten minutes early each day, or giving another person a compliment twice a week, your goals don’t have to cost a thing, butthey will make a difference. You will find that you feel more accomplished, and thatalone will make you feel good about yourself.

Once you feel empowered, there is no stopping who you can become. Know that you have a fire lit deep down inside and only YOU can kindle the flame to ignite something so large it spreads like wildfire. I believe you can do it, do you? All it takes is a change of the mindset from negative to positive. This was what it took for me to rearrange and redirect my life from a path of depression, severe anxiety, envy, mistrust, and the “victim” mentality to a life of positivity, gratitude, love, empowerment and truth. There is no second chance at this, so we might as well do it right the first time.

Do you have a desire to live life in light and let go of all the hurt and pain from your past? I encourage you to write down one positive affirmation each morning and carry it with you throughout the day. Remind yourself that you are every bit of worthy, because you are! If you have any trouble with this, send me a message and I will be glad to help! Stay encouraged, strong, and true to you.

I remember chatting with you at work one day and was like wow…this young girl is so wise, kind, and smart not to mention beautiful! Just blew my mind! Now look at ya! So proud of you! Even though our lives crossed paths for a short period of time you continue to leave this impression on me!! This is the type of thing people in this world need to read more of exemplify!