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15 April 2010

How to Find your Soulmate part 2

A. writes:

I'm 23 and single. I feel that my soulmate is out there, and that we will be together, but I wonder when. I know we'll be together when we have learned what we need to learn to be perfect together. What do I need to learn? What do I have to do to be perfect for him? I haven't made a 'list' because the things I want are caring, concern, understanding and the like. What else do I need to learn?

Your question shows beyond a doubt that this is something close to your heart and soul, and that you have put a great deal of love and thought into this! In fact, you have very nearly answered your own question, no cards required! What I'd like to do, in fact, is give you a few ideas to think about in addition to what you've written here...things that helped me just when I was in your situation in the past...

Probably the two biggest helps for a situation like this was advice from my teacher Sallie Christensen and from reading Richard Bach...in fact, if you are a reader at all, I would suggest first "Illusions: the adventures of a reluctant messiah" and "Bridge Across Forever" by Richard Bach if you haven't read them already.

I think you are right on the money with the idea that you haven't met your soulmate as a matter of readiness. But what if it is his readiness and not yours? What can you learn from this waiting time?

The obvious lessons are patience, and the importance of the two over the one and all that...

But there is more, and my hunch is that the key for you is happiness and manifestation rather than patience, and compassion for others above yourself...here is what I mean by that.

You "get it" about wanting the right things, You get it about this being about spirituality, intangible qualities, and love above all...

So what's the hold up you might ask?

Two things...first is a last chance, so to speak. Once you are in a long term soulmate relationship or marriage, you are a different person. Things will never quite be the same again. You can't cross the same river twice as they say. Your soulmate and the universe may just be giving you a moment to breath. This might be a chance to take one last look around, breath in the fragrance of the GOOD parts of the hear and now, a chance to be happy, enjoy and appreciate the way life is now before moving on to bigger and better things. A graduation party so to speak.

Another, and possibly more important opportunity here is a chance to learn the feel and process of manifestation / attraction.

I realize you are an advance student, and are probably well aware of those concepts, like attracts like and all that. This is a good opportunity to really feel, know and EXPERIENCE it.

"The list" is usually a first step for people who haven't really come to terms with what they want with the clarity that you have. But that doesn't mean it has to be all literal and physical attributes. Writing the caring and compassion you envision will help bring it into your life as much as wanting blue eyes or something. In fact, my belief is that those attributes are more important than a list of physical characteristics and, because you feel most deeply about them, they will manifest more strongly.

If you are spiritual and intuitive enough to know and trust that your soulmate really is out there, sometimes it is easy to forget the nuts and bolts part, and flounder in the physical, actually meeting part of things. Like Sallie told me once - you are so attuned to looking for your soulmate that you send out an "I'm taken" vibe.

Instead of "I have a soulmate and I KNOW he is out there and just waiting for us to be ready to meet" Try sending a different wish to the universe...send the message through the ether directly to your soulmate (whoever, where-ever and when-ever he is), that you are receptive and ready..."I want you, I am ready for you, please come to me". Maybe try making that list of soulmate qualities as a way of inviting him into your life...put all the caring understanding intangible qualities right at the top, put the things most important to you first...than keep going and include every last little detail.

Then, as always, put the list away, trusting things to manifest in their own good time. To paraphrase: "the best way to make the universe laugh is to tell it your plans"...or in the words of that old Phil Collins song..."you can't hurry love". The universe, your love and your relationship with your soulmate is unfolding just as it should...no matter what the calendar says.

I hope that helps, at least a little. Keep up the good work. I think you are totally on the right track, and things will unfold in time. Be patient with your soulmate, and yourself. You'll meet when you are both perfectly ready. In the mean time, enjoy the hear and now, and use this time to learn the feeling of manifesting good things into your life. Like attracts like, what we send out to the universe comes back to us...those are important lessons. We all could use a reminder of that from time to time.