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Pokemon

So. I went to the movies the other day. What did I see, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. No laughing though. It was Detective Pikachu, with none other than Deadpool himself as the titular character. I will just say… GREAT movie. In fact, I saw it twice. I’ll probably go see it again. I know, I know, it’s not exactly Oscar-worthy and the snootier among us won’t even give it a chance. Nonetheless, it was a fantastic movie and I highly recommend it.

Pokemon holds a very special place in my heart. My kids grew up with it and I enjoyed it alongside them. I eventually became very familiar with all things Pokemon – from the television show and popular games to the trading cards and movies. Yes, there were movies prior to the live-action one starring Ryan Reynolds Deadpool. They were of the animated variety, but still.

I’m not sure if you’re aware, but there are about a gazillion Pokemon, Pokemon being “pocket monsters.” For those into the Pokemon craze, we all have our favorite. If you asked most fans, they’d probably tell you they prefer the “cooler” ones like Charizard or Mewtwo. There’s also a wide fan base for the most recognizable Pokemon of all, Pikachu.

If you asked me what my favorite Pokemon was, however, you’d probably be a bit underwhelmed. Who’s that Pokemon? (Ha! See what I did there? Oh, well, you’d have to follow the show to get that joke. Nevermind.)

Without a doubt, Psyduck. Seeing the most recent incarnation of this amazingly awesome pocket monster on the big screen just solidified my connection.

click the pic for the Detective Pikachu movie trailer … you can catch a glimpse of Psyduck in his glory at the 2:13 mark.

I relate to Psyduck on a deep, personal level. You might even say that Psyduck is my spirit animal. This little, yellow duck-like Pokemon is widely considered to be one of the more useless Pokemon. Still, I can’t help feeling drawn to him. Personally, I think Psyduck gets a bad rap.

See, Psyduck is absolutely riddled with anxiety. About what? Well, about everything. Boy, can I relate to that. He’s also plagued with constant migraines and I feel his pain on a spiritual level. The thing is though, Psyduck’s anxiety and migraines can get to a breaking point and when that happens, he loses his shit. Which in this case, means he explodes with a wave of psychic energy the force of which is not unlike a nuclear bomb. Like I said, awesome, right??

Unfortunately, fortunately, of course, I mean, fortunately, my especially bad migraines don’t lead to an outburst of awe-inspiring psychic energy. Psyduck has me beat there. My migraines do occasionally make me lose my shit but I’m still waiting on those psychic powers.

Much like me, Psyduck is also shy and easily overwhelmed by the world around him. These qualities tend to make Psyduck reluctant to engage in battles like most Pokemon and it makes him endlessly frustrating to his trainer. I, too, tend to shut down in overwhelming situations and it can be frustrating to those around me. In fact, frustrations abound. Maybe Psyduck and I are just misunderstood.

Okay, so, for those who don’t have a frame of reference, “I choose you!” alludes to the ever elusive Pokemon from a game which, up until recently, saw far more activity in my house than it had any right to. In this game, I’m told – because I never played, you’re supposed to throw a poke-ball at whatever poor creature you’re trying to capture, hit it in the head with said ball, and trap it. I’m not sure if it should be considered a fun game or serial killer training. But there you go.

Now that that’s cleared up, onward people. I was perusing the photos on my phone for no good reason when I came across one I could not remember taking. As it turns out, I didn’t take it. My daughter did, at some point during the Christmas season when we were out and about and her own phone’s battery had expired.

I CHOOSE YOU!

This is a handy-dandy form of mistletoe, if you ask me. Now, the reasonable part of my mind realizes that this mistletoe is made for “on the move” Christmas kissing and that the handle is meant for the bearer to simply “hold” the mistletoe over someone’s head. But…the asshole unreasonable part of my mind couldn’t help but think this would be an ideal tool for cracking someone over the head while simultaneously screaming: “I CHOOSE YOU!” It would certainly make that boring Christmas party a lot more interesting. Especially if the liquor is flowing and that hot guy from the corner office on the third floor shows up.

* Since we live in a day and age where stipulations have become a necessity, let it be known that I am in no way condoning or encouraging the use of said item for bashing someone in the head…whether for kisses or just because the person was annoying. Okay, well, maybe if they’re annoying, but that’s IT people!

** Per my lawyer’s advice, one more caveat: no-one, and I mean no-one, should ever come to this blog looking for advice. I am not responsible for my own actions most of the time, I certainly cannot be responsible for yours.

Since we live in a pretty rural area, just getting into the small town we live near takes some time, and getting from any particular Point A to Point B is rather a trek, so sadly, driving is often a requirement when walking would be so much more fun. Now, I may get road rage sometimesfrequentlyoften all of the time and I always feel in a rush to get where I’m going even if I don’t want to be where it is I’m going, but I’m a very careful driver and try my best to be considerate as well. So, I feel the need to apologize for the possibly probably not exactly perfect behavior I exhibited this morning and perhaps explain.

If you happened to see me suddenly stopping on the side of the road in what I’m sure appeared to be an entirely random manner all of the way through town, or if you perhaps gave vent to curse words as I pulled into a variety of arbitrary locations such as remote cornfields, a dairy farm, three churches, a lovely old cemetery, the VFW, and even the police station with no turn signal whatsoever, I understand completely. Please know that I did try to maintain my normal fastidious driving style. It’s just…we were on a search to restock a certain someone’s inventory of Pokéballs.