Men's Health stated this is the year's biggest week for diet programs and gym memberships. It was easy for me to shape up. Back in 2016 I was the only performer in Hollywood who predicted Trump would get elected, and this year so many dinner invitations disappeared that I lost ten pounds.

A Russian billionaire died in Moscow while jogging Thursday after taking a Viagra. So much for wowing all the maids at the bus stop as you jog by. His name hasn't been released, yet already Los Angeles lawyer Gloria Allred is eulogizing him as the sexual misconduct settlement that got away.

The Hollywood Reporter reported all male nominees attending the Golden Globe Awards will wear black in sympathy with the female nominees wearing black to protest sexual misconduct in Hollywood. They're not kidding around. I said hello to an actress yesterday, and my trial starts Friday.

President Trump was accused by Democrats of walking into the Miss Universe dressing room when he owned the pageant. It's tricky. If he had walked in wearing an evening gown and a little eyeliner and said he wanted to use the bathroom, the Democrats would have given him a medal.