I
can see how EGO and PRIDE are easily confused; their definitions according to
Webster’s Online Dictionary are nearly identical. But, they most definitely mean
two different things.

Ego,
a lot like the self-proclaimed “lyrical wordsmith” in the first GIF, comes from
an ugly place. Mr. West monetarily gains by making other people feel less than
him and suggesting he is better than God. His type of narcissism is enough to
make anyone throw up in their mouth a little.

But
I can compare the subject in the second GIF, Dumbo, to the hundreds of authors
I see on social media everyday expressing vocally how pleased they are by their
accomplishments. As they should be, rightfully.

(Because
I’m a writer, I’ll stick to tale-telling as example.)

We
authors spend hours upon hours with our faces pressed to our computers,
ignoring our families, overlooking hygiene, giving an outlet to the voices in
our head while the dirty laundry piles up. Some of us have day jobs, and some
of us have day and night jobs. A lot
of my fellow authors are college students, while some are sending their
children off to college.

The
point?

We’re
busy.

The
point?

We’re
damn proud when we type THE END at the end of a book.

We
should be able to scream it to the world like crazy people.

So,
when did that become a crime?

along the lines—maybe because of social media, maybe because of the influx of
writers, thanks to self-publishing, or maybe because people are intimidated by
confidence—ego and pride became the same wrong.

My
first book Innocents (Dusty #1)isn't due to publish until 7/14/14, but I've written for quite a few years as a
member of the Twilight Fan Fiction Fandom. By experience, I can contest that
there might not be a tougher crowed to please than our mighty community. Twi-FF
readers know what they like and don’t like and have no problem letting you
know.

Rightfully.

I
learned what I know about telling a story from the fandom. Their praise and
criticism molded me into the person I am right now. Justly, it’s been an up and
down roller coaster, but I think I’m finally on flat rails. I’m comfortable
with who I am, and I’m proud of my work. I no longer feel the need to defend
it.

BUT…

When
the online version of Dusty ended, I was in a bad place.

I
was the Kanye West of the Twilight FF community.

I
can own that.

BUT…

After
some major backlash, and after making some major changes in my life, I fixed my
defensive attitude.

It’s
been quite a while since I've had someone comment on my “ego”. Which is why I
was confused when it came out of nowhere a few weeks ago. Instead of reacting
like I used to, I simply assessed the situation and came to the conclusion that
the rude commenter has not reached the inner peace within themselves like I
have.

And
really, they were purposefully rude.

But,
it got me thinking.

Jump
on to Facebook right now, and I can guarantee you’ll scroll across a thread where
someone is being impolite, purposely or not. Most of the time they start with
something like, “If you don’t want to
read my rant, keep moving.” Or “Rant
alert!”

More
times than not, I stop to see what the drama is about.

The
ones that make me roll my eyes are the ever-present, “Stop adding me to groups without my permission,” and “I don’t play Candy Crush!”

But
here is where ego and pride can be confused.

“Don’t
ask me to like your page, because you have to earn my friendship first.”

Do
they? Because, is it just me or should you be really glad that someone even
invited you to like their page in the first place? Chances are, that person
liked your page first and you’re not ranting about that.

And
you never know, that brand new author you just blasted all over Facebook might
be the next big thing. Or maybe they got into writing because you inspired them
but were too shy to ever talk to you before. Maybe they don’t know the
etiquette of the indie community and did what they thought was right. How
embarrassing for him or her that you just screamed at them instead of simply
messaging that person and saying, “This is how you do it in the future.”

Or,
I don’t know. Why not just ignore them?

When
I see authors publicly scolding someone on a public forum, my first thought is,
who do they think they are?

Is
it ego or pride that leads you to write a post chastising someone else?

Authors
have a role as a public figure: writing.

It
is absolutely not your job to ever shine a bad light on another author or the
people that read your stories.

BUT…

I’m
a writer, and I know how it feels to be misunderstood.

Dusty
and everything else I’ve written has received its fair share of awful reviews
and critiques. When the online version completed and #Dusty trended on Twitter,
I said something like, “Dusty changed fan fiction.”

Translation,
according to a few of not-so-friendly-followers: “I’m better than you.”

Then
the comments flowed into my feed.

“Who do you think you are?”

“Can
you see past your ego?”

“Your
story is crap and you’re a conceited BNA”

(For
those not in a fandom, BNA is an acronym for Big Named Author.)

I
already admitted I may have been a little ahead of myself, but my fan fiction trended
on Twitter! I was beyond proud! There was no malice in my statement, and my
intentions were not to make anyone feel less than me. My effing fan fiction trended
on Twitter!

Now
that I’m an active member of the indie-author community, misconception of egos
is another thing I see pretty often, and it kills me.

Authors,
be proud of your accomplishments. Never be afraid of backlash because others
are threatened by your success. There’s nothing wrong with posting your Amazon
rank or freaking out when another writer you look up to reads your book.

Not
everyone is going to love your work, and they don’t have to, but you
accomplished something! It has nothing to do with ego, but firm pride. Just
like it’s not your place to correct the people who misread your writing, it’s
not your place to correct anyone who doesn't understand how brilliant you are
for finishing a book.

2 comments:

I FLOVE you guys! And all of you authors that have written for free and given us countless hours of entertainment with your words filled with laughter, tears, amusement, joy, sadness, angsts, tragedy, etc (I could go on a on), Thank YOU from the bottom of my grandiose heart! You all rock (I rock a bit more! ) LOLOLOL

It's a nice place to be, emotionally, isn't it? I'm happy for you, that you're entering this new phase in your life with a great attitude. I loved being on pins and needles all through the posting of 'Dusty', and I'm looking forward to reading and promoting the new version.