Joseph Gordon-Levitt is one smooth motherf*cker. The Don Jon star, who appears on every girlfriend’s (…and boyfriend’s) famous people freebies list, comes across as one of the rare down-to-Earth (that is not 3rd Rock of the Sun reference) celebrities who you wouldn’t getting a drink with, and then you’ll silently resent him because of his aforementioned naturally smooth motherf*ckerness. He is the best, and the worst.

Yesterday, JGL hopped over to Reddit for an Ask Me Anything, to answer questions about Don Jon, ScarJo, socks, Batman, and the first movie he ever remembers seeing as a child. Also: “Joseph Golden Rabbit.”

You’re probably not going to see this, but I’d really like to thank you for this. It was one of the best and most surreal moments of my life. I still can’t believe that you were so game to, excuse me, back dat ass up on me, a mere mortal, like that. My mom/friends/boyfriend brag about it all the time.

Ha, nice!! And people ask what we do at hitRECord shows! Y’all are missing out.

In regards to the sexually explicit content in your upcoming movie, Don Jon, were you ever concerned about how your family would feel seeing you in these situations and knowing you had personally written the script?

My mom in particular really loves the movie. She brought up my brother and me with a lot of the ideals of the feminist movement(s) of the 60s and 70s. DON JON is largely a comedic satire of how our culture treats people (especially women) more like things than like people.

Was Bane a big guy in real life? I mean, for you.

Tom is pure murder. Seen Bronson?

To make a long story short, my current girlfriend and i have been dating for slightly over a year, and the movie i had asked her out at was Premium Rush, we saw it in theaters last year on 9-9-12. We both really enjoyed the movie and kind of make it a habit of watching it every once in a while or after a fight to remind us of our first date. And then our first kiss was after seeing Looper, so you’re kind of a big deal to us. Plus we both love you as an actor! But what my request is, is this. My girlfriends birthday is coming up, (September 25th) and in addition to her presents that i already have gotten her, i thought it would mean the world if she could have a picture of you just holding a piece of paper that says something along the lines of “Happy Birthday Kailey!” you can add in your own flair if you’d like! Thanks man! You’re great!

Why did you choose Scarlett Johansson for her role in Don Jon?

First of all because she’s hilarious. See her on SNL? And she balances comedy and sincerity with a delicacy few actors can. Besides that, I thought she’d be a powerful presence in the movie because she’s an acute example of what the movie’s about. Scarlett is an extremely smart person, and a very talented artist. And yet most of what gets talked about is her looks. This part of our culture is what DON JON is poking fun at.

What was the first movie you remember seeing in your life?

DUMBO.

Realistically speaking, Don Jon won’t be commercially released in a number of countries. How do you feel about your fans pirating the movie just to be able to watch it?

It’s gonna be released most places, and then it’ll come out on video. But you know, what the RIAA calls piracy is tricky. I can’t be too mad at it. When something can be duplicated infinitely at virtually no cost, it’s hard to apply traditional economic rules to it. I think/hope in the future, we’ll all be able to watch whatever movie we want to whenever we want to.

What every woman is wondering – what do you look for in a woman? Are you single?

I do my very best to not have any rigid expectations. I think the best, juiciest, mind blowing love comes as a surprise. If you’re already looking for the items on your wish list, you’re doomed. This is exactly what DON JON is about. Both my character and Scarlett’s character are blinded by unrealistic expectations they’ve learned from pornography and Hollywood movies.

Inquiring minds need to know: What’s your favorite Pokemon?

Magic: The Gathering FTW.

What was your inspiration behind Don Jon? Where did the story line of porn come from?

I’ve always paid a lot of attention to the way media affects how we see the world. Probably because I’ve worked as an actor since I was a kid. I often find it funny (and occasionally horrifying) the way we are all influenced by the images we see on screens. Especially when it comes to love and sex and relationships. So I thought the story of a boyfriend and a girlfriend, where he watches too much pornography and she watches too many romantic Hollywood movies would be a funny way at talking about these sorts of things.

Your work with hitRECord is absolutely inspiring. The fact that you give up and comers an opportunity to collaborate like that is amazing. Do you have any future plans to create a mainstream project such as a movie with artists from hitRECord?

THANKS! We’re making a television show right now. Like it’s gonna be on actual television. On a new cable network called Pivot that just started in august. Come to the site and contribute to it, we’re doing it right now.

Thanks for doing this ama. My question is: if someone has never seen anything from hitRECord, where would you suggest they start? Any particular work you’d point to as a good introduction?

If you want to watch, see The Man With a Turnip For a Head.

Needed to let you know that you’re my dad’s favorite actor, but he has a thick Korean accent, and he pronounces your name “Joseph Golden Rabbit.”

First, how come no one asked him about a new 3rd Rock from the Sun series? The world needs John Lithgow back in comedy dammit! [www.youtube.com]
Second, I’ve been saying that a chick flick is basically girl porn for years. And it’s unfair that they get to watch theirs in public.