Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Doris had flowers, balloons & cards for me on my bday, & I got calls, cards & a present from other friends! It's been so nice.

I haven't blogged that I have gone on the 'sick list' for flying because of that damn pain in my ass I had mentioned earlier. My main Dr said it was sciatica, & I finally went to an orthopedist who took xrays, said don't fly for at least a month because the pain is not getting better. He sent me to get a hip MRI which I did yesterday & I have to wait till next week for a diagnosis.

Those MRI's are no joke. Seriously, I was in that tube for 1 & a half hours, not moving with all that banging & screeching noise going on. phew! It sucked. I hate to think how much I'll have to pay out of pocket after my lousy insurance... yikes.

So anyway, I am taking this time off to rest & enjoy life & hope I don't get harrassed by my freakin' job. (supervisors are famous for that since we have more time off than they do.) Anyway, I can't walk that well, let alone run up & down the asiles serving folks - not to mention trying to balance thru turbulence.

I'm not worried at the moment, just thinking I need to rest my hip. Hopefully there won't be any bad diagnosis. Stay tuned.

Incedentally, that gratitude list I made of the important things I remembered thru my life was good for me! I challenge you all to do the same.... while you can still remember, ha!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

I am so excited! Today I am 62 whole years old! phew! Never thought I would make it this far. Well, you don't think of aging as a kid - only that you too will someday turn 80 something like your grandparents, but who ever dwells on that when you're young, thriving & living life 100 miles an hour in the fast lane?

Here are my most memorable highlights thru the years so far:

Adopting my brother for my 3rd birthday!

Nursery School!

1st grade!

The beginning of MANY wonderful family vacations camping at US national parks ea year!

YMCA Sleep-away camp for years!

Move from Dallas to Richardson!

Big new house & my own room!

Best Friend Tina!

Jr. High (ugh) & braces!

Roller Skating!

Girl Scouts!

Dance Classes!

Modeling

High school!

Eaglettes!

Dances & boyfriends!

Proms & Graduation!

Beauty Pageants!

Going away to College!

Rooming with Tina!

New friend Jeannie!

1st love boyfriend Bobby! (4yrs)

Campus & fraternity parties!

1st car - red Corvair convertable with black upholstry!!!(Favorite Best memory ever of my father buying it for me at a gas station on the way to my jr year in college! - they got tired of driving me & picking me up)

The beginning of many 12-step programs thruout the next decade! (They saved my life!!!)

Loving Judy!

Loving & living with Doris!

Best Therapist Carolyn!

Buying a house in NJ with Doris!

Growing old together!(27 yrs & counting!)

Working with triple buddy bidders Marilyn & Pam for 35 years!

Working with many other wonderful Flight Attendants over 40 yrs!

Planning retirement!

I feel very lucky, happy & blessed.Today I am just relaxing & counting my blessings. There are so many more I haven't mentioned.

But the very best thing of making it to 62 is that when the time comes and I DO get to retire, I shall be able to collect Social Security to supplement my puny retirement check...Which won't be much since I'll be taking it early, but so be it!At least I made it this far!YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Mother's Day was good. I used to hate it because my mother never fit all those beautiful mushy cards, & she never liked the flowers I would send. She was difficult, sad, always angry & most likely depressed - screamed at us & cried all the time. Damn. Guess I'm more like her than I want to admit. I don't scream & cry all the time (THANK the Lord!!!) but I do feel like I've become difficult, sad, angry & depressed a lot in my old age. Of course I'm also fabulous & funny when I'm not all that. But I have to admit I have really become quite a bitch. Not always, but there's an edge. I started taking zoloft 2 weeks ago & I think it's starting to work.

Well anyway, for some reason (family disfunction) I've become the Mother's Day planner each year to get everyone together even if they're not communicating. It always works wonderfully, everyone has a relaxing, delicious luncheon after church at the airport Marriott Laughing & talking for hours. And each year more people come so it's becoming quite the tradition. Of course when it was all over I was so relieved.

I never had children because I knew I would be a bad mother. Folks don't talk about bad mothers much. It's just the hardest job ever in life to be a good mom. Not everyone makes it. I never wanted to be hated so much. I'm sorry to say I wasted so much time despising mine. Now that she's gone it so much easier to forgive & I do acknowledge & appreciate all she dedicated her life trying to do for me. And of course I feel guilty for not being a better daughter. I am however grateful that I never fucked up an innocent little being. Physically or emotionally. phew! The buck stopped with my brother & I. He never had kids either. We didn't pass on the legacy..

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Vacation is over. Ratshit. One can never have enough time off. As a matter of fact, the more time off we get, the harder it is to go back to work! Somehow it's easier with only 1 or 2 days off because I'm still in a jetlag stuper doing the 'groundhog day' thing. Anyway I'm flying to Lax this evening. Hope I don't get the frickin' flu - think I'll wear surgical gloves, but probably no mask. It will be interesting to see how FA's are handling all this.

Saw 2 movies. Obcessed with Beyonce, who was really good, but I didn't like the movie because it just bothers me so much that people can come in & try to wreck a relationship so easily. Doris loved it.Then saw The Soloist with Jamie Fox! WOW Wow WOW!! It was so excellent. And sad. This is a fabulous movie.

Went to the Dr on my time off & she said my butt pain wasALL Y'all, HAHAHA no just kidding.She said it is just sciatica. Since it hasn't gone all the way down my leg, I didn't think it was. Guess I'll just take advil or aleve. I feel like such a gimp.

And also she told me I can't just come into an appointment with such a long list of maladies (I had a huge list because I hadn't been there for a year.) I was like why not? When the hell am I supposed to talk about all my body problems??? She said I have to come in more often. So I'll be back next month.

I feel like I got on her nerves, which I do to others often. I can never understand why everyone doesn't just love & adore me, ha! Unfortunately I do tend to try to stay away from drs unless I'm really ill. And the truth is it seems that EVERYThing has gone wrong with me in my 61st year. seriously. Health wise the shit is has hit the fan at 61. Be grateful I am not listing everything HERE...

Later cyber women. Got to spackle & paint the face. Had 2 weeks with naked skin, it was great..

About Me

My Circling Thoughts
An ever recovering compulsive escape addict from Reality & other harsh
Realms of Existance.
The Odyssey of a Spiritual Quest for Consciousness.
I invite you as I stumble thru my personal memoirs of awakening....such
as they are.
Such as I am...
Kathymae
Today.
RAMBLINGS OF A UNIVERSAL VAGABONDESS,
SKYGYPSY, SKYGODDESS, SKYDYKE, SKYSISTER, SKYBIDDY, SKYWENCH...
MINDPATHS OF A WANDERING WONDER WARRIOR...
AN AGING & DEFIANT SOLDIER OF MENOPAUSE
or
WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING NOW???..........
KMB524@aol.com