Friday, December 08, 2006

I can't stop reading the endless pages of questions and answers from Aint It Cool readers to Sylvester Stallone. It's literally page after page and you can tell it's really Sly answering these things; his responses are way too frank and sometimes too weird to be anyone else. A few of the literally dozens of higlights:

9. For the love of all that is good and Holy. How do you use the 3 seashells?!

OK, this may be bordering on the grotesque, but the way it was explained to me by the writer is you hold two seashells like chopsticks, pull gently and scrape what’s left with the third. You asked for it…. Be careful what you ask for, sorry.

What do you consider your worst film? Rhinestone or Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot?

The worst film I’ve ever made by far… maybe one of the worst films in the entire solar system, including alien productions we’ve never seen… a flatworm could write a better script then STOP! OR MY MOM WILL SHOOT. In some countries – China, I believe – running STOP! OR MY MOM WILL SHOOT once a week on government television has lowered the birth rate to zero. If they ran it twice a week, I believe in twenty years China would be extinct. Does that put it in perspective?

Name three little known facts you learned about Dolly Parton during the production of RHINESTONE (1984).

First thing, on a primitive level, I think she’s actually more endowed than she appears to be and what you see is only a subtle representative of what she is. Not that I know first hand, but Dolly always holds something back in reserve. She is an incredible woman.

I remember in the early 80s when I was sitting in a hotel room feeling sorry for myself, actors do that a lot, it’s actually considered a sport in Hollywood, self loathing. Anyway, Dolly called and we began a conversation that lasted at least two hours and by the time I hung up I thought she was the most amazing person I’d ever spoken to.

She knew something about everything. She’s the kind of woman that 100 years ago would’ve been strong enough to cross the country in a wagon train, fight off Indians if necessary, give birth without any help and then find time to strung a guitar and sing around the campfire.