The Perfect Party

The guests we’d most like at our dinner table this month

BRITNEYHENRY We’re celebrating this month’s Eugene-based Olympic track and field trials with an all-athlete bash. Head of the table goes to Henry, an ex-UO hammer thrower. Nike’s Beaverton campus will host men’s and women’s hammer on June 21 (the only event not in Eugene). She can fire an eight-pound cannonball more than 200 feet, so be polite when you ask her to pass the tapas.

GALENRUPP and DATHANRITZENHEIN We’ll have an oxygen bar for both of these long-haul runners, who train locally with Nike’s elite team. After narrowly missing a spot on the US marathon team, Ritzenhein will probably chase spots at either 5,000 or 10,000 meters; Rupp broke the American record in the 10,000 last year. Gents, pull up a chair and we’ll debate the merits of LSD. (That’s “long, slow distance.”)

LAURENFLESHMAN We’re asking this Eugene-based distance runner to pack some Picky Bars, the gluten- and dairy-free brand of energy bars she started. Lauren, we know you’re coming back from injury, but will you at least sign your cover shot from Runner’s World? It’s, um, for a friend.

MOSESMASAI This guest is the top qualifier for the Kenyan team’s 10,000 meters trial race, which will be held in Eugene this year. Kenyan sports officials say Eugene’s balmy environs will help prep the squad for London, but their motives have been controversial at best. We’re sure Masai can explain why it’s on the up and up. Moses, are those new shoes?

PRE We’ll use the same hologram technology that recently brought dead hip-hop star Tupac back to the stage to summon the patron saint of Oregon running. Steve Prefontaine hit the world stage 40 years ago, and the Coos Bay legend’s untimely death still haunts the state—mostly in the form of hipster facial hair. Pre, to give less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. We’ll have an extra round for you.