Regardless of current or past religion, you shouldn't have to apologize for using religion as a way to make yourself feel safer. I understand that SeekerofCheese may be devoutly against religion, or at least Christianity, and that's okay, but you weren't trying to stuff anything down anyone's throat, so you shouldn't feel the need to defend yourself from his comment :)

I get what you mean there, but some people are just genuinely controlling people to an extent where it's hurting the relationship. For example, I know for a fact that my boyfriend wants me to spend more time with him, make an effort to be more open about my thoughts and feelings, and not be afraid to speak my mind to him in general. I've honestly been making an effort to improve these aspects of our relationship because I think he has the right as my boyfriend to ask these things of me. In that sense, I agree with you. However, he is a very controlling individual. He is made jealous easily (even if I tell him I'm having a night in with one of my best friends), doesn't like letting me go anywhere without him, and, hell, even got mad that I wanted to get the split ends of my hair cut off today because "he likes the way my hair is". I think both sides should be considerate of what each other wants, but if doing what /they/ want results in a controlling attitude to this level I think it just becomes harmful and like TickldBuddha said, it really does act like a poison to our relationship.