Jingle All the Way | The Funniest Christmas Memes

Last modified: May 28, 2018

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas and the trolling alarm goes off for everyone who wants to tease the true lovers of this season’s holiday. Whether you are up for an early Christmas joke or add your own touch and support those who absolutely (and inexplicably) hate this celebration, you’re free to share any photo we’ve made for you.

Go through our original collection of the most hilarious Christmas memes on the web and have a happy holiday. And, you know what they say: if you can’t beat them, join them (preferably under the mistletoe).

I don’t mean to sound completely ungrateful but could we not listen to Mariah Carey?

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Jingle all the way.

Just chillin’ till Christmas.

Let’s all make it a Christmas to remember.

Make them stop blinking.

My Christmas pie is proof that miracles do happen.

My snowman is real dope.

Your face when you realize it’s only some days to Christmas.

Silent night, Holy shit, I pissed my pants.

This year’s snowman that my dietician never saw.

We swear we won’t eat the goldfish again.

Find 3 mistakes and peace on earth.

What do you mean “Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”

Famous Funny Christmas Quotes

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking? – Arlo Guthrie

Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it weren’t for Christmas, We’d all be Jewish. – Benny Hill

Dear Lord, I’ve been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us… a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird… a social being… capable of actual affection… nuzzling its young with almost human – like compassion. Anyway, it’s dead and we’re gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family… – Berke Breathed

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. – Bernard Manning

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. – Bob Phillips

Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home. – Carol Nelson

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. – Dennis Miller

Christmas is the Disneyfication of Christianity – Don Cupitt

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. – Garrison Keillor

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love! – Hamilton Wright Mabie

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. – Harlan Miller

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up, they have no holidays. – Henry Youngman

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin. – Jay Leno

That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. – Jerry Seinfeld

The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. – Joan Rivers

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. – Johnny Carson

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. – Johnny Carson

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it. – Katharine Whitehorn

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. – Kin Hubbard

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. – Larry Wilde

Christmas is for children. But it is for grownups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts. – Lenora Weber

Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind. – Mary Ellen Chase

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. – Phyllis Diller

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. – Richard Lamm

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. – Shirley Temple

He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree. – Sunshine Magazine

Let me see if I’ve got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn’t laundering illegal drug money? – Tom Armstrong

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music. – Tom Sims

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. – Victor Borge

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven. – W. C. Fields

There has been only one Christmas, the rest are anniversaries. – W. J. Cameron