Building an orphaned sports car into a vintage racer will be exquisite torture a lot of fun, but you'll also need a head-turning luxury cruiser for those warm summer nights when the Moretti or Almquist is upside down and on fire getting a minor tune-up.

Since you're a classic-car aficionado with discerning taste, you will find true top-down satisfaction only in a Motor City machine issued under the auspices of a respected fashion house. Fortunately for you, Ford and Chrysler had long runs of slapping fashion-house labels on their upscale machinery, so it wasn't hard for the Hell Garage Demons to scare up a couple of promising candidates.

The "only one in existence," a Bill Blass Edition 1976 Mark IV convertible--but it doesn't have a top yet.

There's a reason that the seller put the word "convertible" in quotes, because this car is technically a roadster awaiting the design and construction of a convertible top. That task sounds daunting, but not to worry--you'll find a fabrication shop eager to take many thousands of dollars a few bucks to create a custom top that will never in a million years keep the rain and wind out, just like a factory unit.

"But what about the possible compromises to chassis stiffness inherent in a Sawzall convertible like this?" naysayers might whine. No sweat, my friends, because this roof removal was "professionally" done (i.e., someone--we're not saying it was a 17-year-old parole violator with a head full of Seconal-and-Old-Overholt cocktails and an itchy gas-axe finger, even though that's the sort of image that comes to mind when you spend enough time huffing sulfur fumes in the Hell Garage--got paid to do the job), and you can assume that the lack of duct-tape-covered raw metal edges serves as an indicator that the chassis has been reinforced to compensate for the removal of this semi-unibody car's roof.

If not, well, you can break out the welder and ensure that your Bill Blassified convertible doesn't break in half when you open one of those eight-foot-long doors. The car allegedly runs and drives well, and that 460 engine responds well to off-the-shelf speed parts, so you might as well build 400 or so horses and go from 11 mpg to 10!

The imitation-wood-sided 1986 Chrysler Town & Country convertible with Mark Cross upholstery!

The seller doesn't mention which engine lives under the hood, but those vents might mean that this car has 146 screaming turbocharged horsepower beneath instead of the base 97-hp 2.2. It won't matter to you, because you'll need to build up a 2.5 engine with the biggest turbocharger and intercooler money can buy. There are Mopar freaks running 10-second quarter-miles in street-driven K-Cars, and there's no reason you won't be able to do the same in your Mark Cross Edition LeBaron Town & Country. Why, the name alone of this beautiful convertible is reason enough to buy it!

Now, since you can't expect a grand-and-a-half, 26-year-old car to be in perfect condition, there are some issues here. First, the upholstery is "checked and cracked" (we're dealing with that Craigslist rarity, a car seller who doesn't describe a completely fried interior as "needing a little TLC"). Unfortunately, the interior is what makes it a Mark Cross, so you'll need to find an upholstery shop that can recreate that Mark Cross magic in high-quality leather. How much could that cost?

Then you'll need a new convertible top, which sort of goes without saying when buying any project convertible. It comes with a set of new whitewall tires, but you'll have to replace those with some rubber than can stand up to the mighty overboosted 400-hp engine you'll be installing. But don't think about the long, tortuous journey you're facing. Instead, focus on the end of the journey: a perfectly restored Mark Cross woodie convertible that will eat up Vipers at the drag strip.