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Friday, February 19, 2016

EMBRACING REJECTION

Annalisa Crawford just placed 3rd in the 2015 Costa Short Story Contest and she's here today to discuss every author's nemesis - rejection!

Congratulations Annalisa!

A new
look at rejection

by

Annalisa Crawford

I have read many blog posts
and articles over the years about how to handle rejection. But I'm not
sure handling rejection is the way to go... I think embracing rejection
is a much better way to approach your writing.

It's been long established
that, in writing terms, I am very, very old. I have been submitting short
stories and novels since before the internet, before email. Yes, folks, I had
to snail mail each and every one - kissing the envelope before posting!

And, therefore, I have
received many, many rejections. And survived.

Not just survived, I
thrived.

I was very lucky. Early on,
I found a small monthly competition that I entered regularly. It was run by one
guy called Keith, who always commented on why he liked my story and why it
hadn't won. In fact, over time, we struck up quite a correspondence. This is
one of the letters he sent...

... and as a young writer, having someone telling me the truth, focusing
his thoughts solely on me for two typewritten pages, and being so encouraging
at the same time was tremendously helpful.

(A complete aside: in the letter, Keith mentioned several other writers
who were also entering his competition regularly - I search them, and one had
been quite a prolific childrens/YA author. So, you never know who you are
pitting yourself against!)

Here's what rejection can do for you:

·It allows
you to look at your manuscript with objective eyes. After all, if someone
doesn't like it, it can't be perfect, can it? And, to be honest, you don't ever
want to think your work is perfect, because you'll get complacent.

·The
editors/judges aren't rejecting you - they don't know you. They just didn't
like those words you put on the page, in that order. Because the next
story you send, they might love.

·It's not
you, it's them. That story rejected today - when the editor had a miserable
journey to work, and spilled his coffee over his desk, and was thinking about
his sick uncle - might have been accepted the following day, when the sun was
shining and his uncle was better. You can't do anything about any of that!

I, personally, think every writer needs to put themselves in a position
where they could be rejected - a competition, a literary magazine submission -
and expect to fail. Now, instead of feeling down about it, instead of needing
ice-cream and a friendly shoulder to cry on, I simply read the story, makes
changes (or not) and send it out again. No drama!

Do you
allow yourself to be rejected?

What has
been your worst? And your best?

Annalisa Crawford lives in Cornwall UK, with a good supply of moorland
and beaches to keep her inspired. She lives with her husband, two sons, a dog
and a cat.

She writes dark contemporary, character-driven stories, and has been
winning competitions and publishing short stories in small press journals for
many years. She recently won 3rd Place in the Costa Short Story Award 2015.

47 comments:

It's my pleasure! Great discussion. Rejection is an opportunity to grow, well, after the tears, chocolate, and wine. :) It happens, it hurts, and it makes you a fighter/survivor!Thanks, Annalisa, Congratulations on your Costa win!

well done post. It does make one think about one's writing and re-look if the same piece is rejected a lot. Or the old "well...sorta good, but not quite" means one is close and just has to rework it. Still can't say I embrace rejection, but I respect it.

Hello Annalisa and YolandaRejection. Most writers get worried over this. I had a critique partner years ago who told me that when he received a packet back from whom ever he had sent it to, he first poured himself a scotch, found a chair and opened it, expecting a rejection. I have been rejected a lot. Mainly because I have a YA voice but my characters are twenty something. I can tell a good horror story about one rejection in particular but I'll save that for another time. I think your friendship with Keith must have been a great benefit.Nancy

Keith did an amazing thing for me, and taught me how to move forward with my writing. Oh, I'd love to hear that horror story :-) In the snail mail days, I had a rejection 2 days after I posted it - which basically was enough time for them to receive the letter, repackage into my SAE and resend :-(

Not being a writer, I haven't experienced that kind of rejection, but many of us have experienced rejection on job searches enough of which can make you depressed. However, your attitude seems to be a very healthy one Annalisa. From your story, Keith sounds like he was a young writer's dream.

The very first rejection is always the hardest, because it's a wake-up call. We feel so cocksure about our work, and so sure it's gonna be a big hit... well, that's what we dream, anyway, when we're young, and floating five feet off the ground while waiting to hear back from the agent or editor the first time around. Then we learn it isn't quite that easy. Can't say that I embrace rejection, but I thoroughly appreciate a rejection that has some constructive meat to it. The generic ones aren't particularly helpful.

Fantastic post! I agree rejection does make you stronger. Many moons ago when I was a 19 year old, I got my first rejection and took it so hard, I didn't let anyone see my writing again for several years. Slowly I began to send my stuff out to small venues. Those rejections hurt too, but age had made me a little tougher. When the first acceptance came, it was worth everything. I still get far more rejections than acceptances, but that's okay. I learn from them and carry on. :)

Hi Yolanda and Annalisa - you've done so well coming third in the Costa Awards .. and are obviously a lady of great perseverance. This post is so good - and a maxim to apply to all areas of life - ie put oneself in someone else's shoes ... seeing the 'challenge' from the other side. Learning to understand another POV ...

We need to learn from what's in front of us .. here you say it so clearly ... and also what's under the stone we can't see ... cheers to you both - Hilary

Great way to look at rejection. I assume each response is a rejection. I've found I know within the first few words whether it's an acceptance or a rejection. It's always such a pleasant surprise when it's an acceptance. About 12 years ago, I submitted a few pieces via snail mail. I got frustrated at that time, because I wasn't finding mixed genre speculative fiction magazines, and my stories were a mishmash between horror and science fiction. Now that's not a problem, but it was then, so I ultimately gave up and stopped trying. Of course, I didn't have this wonderful resource of fellow authors online to get me through, either.

My immediate reaction when I see an email is to assume rejection too. The internet has certainly made searching for markets easier, and the range of markets a lot bigger. And bloggers are brilliant, aren't they? :-)

I love how well you adapted to and learned from your rejections. They aren't something to be afraid of, they're just stepping stones on the path to publication (albeit fungussy, gross & icky ones. lol). I've never gotten any detailed rejections that were helpful, particularly from agents who always contradicted each other, but I do the same as you on bad reviews. I read, don't get mad, and learn how I can do better next time. Have a great weekend! :)

Keith sounds like a writer's dream. If only all rejection letters were like his, embracing rejection would be a breeze :) Detailed, honest critiques help grow the writing, but I've rarely come across rejections with a review/reasons. But review or no, managing rejections and learning from them is a key skill for a writer.

Worst = no reply at all (a publishing standard at times); Best= rejection with an invitation to send additional manuscripts which they would be open to reviewing. After all, rejection is only that one person's opinion at that moment. That's been my way of handling rejection. . .

Sending new manuscripts is a great rejection. One of my memorable rejections was the editor telling me he didn't like the incest in my story - when all I did was have a girl miss her father. I thought it was quite a natural thing for a young girl to do :-(

I like the approach of embracing rejection. So much to learn from it but the days of 2 typewritten pages of feedback are long gone I fear. I'm glad you embraced rejection and didn't give up. Look at where it got you!

I'm reasonably okay with rejection, but for now I've decided to skip around the whole submissions process and the handy side-effect of that is that I miss the subjectivity that's stopping me from publishing.

Would love to hear from you, say hello and leave your blog address - I'll visit, but please take with you my undying gratitude that you stopped by for a read. Be well, be happy, and may your blog surfing bring you joy!