How to Make Better Decisions in Life

How can you make better decisions about your life? How can you be self-critical without hating yourself? What sort of analysis should you go through before launching a business or even creating a “launch” of your new life?

Nothing ever goes perfectly right or perfectly wrong. List out your reasoning for every decision you make. Analyze that reasoning, using hard data when applicable.

This is how to think about any problem or challenge in your life.

Step 1. Why are you doing what you’re doing?

You must know your reason why. Most of the time we don’t know why we want to do something, as deep down we don’t care. We’ve been taught to want something, and when we start working towards goals others have set for us, there’s no passion.

If you’re going to make a life decision, honestly assess your motivations. Do you, or someone else, have a vision for your life?

Sit around for hours thinking about your reason for acting as you do. Ensure that you’re going after something you want. Until you have a personal reason to take action, you will never take action.

Here is an honest “why” from me. I’ve never had a six-pack. I hate dieting down to those levels. I used to read fitness sites and think I needed one. But I truthfully don’t care. I know how to diet and what drugs to use to change my body in any way I want.

My body has never cost me any lays or a job, and I’ve found having “sick abs brah” is largely something that impresses other men more than it does women.

That said, if you want those abs to pop, good for you. Do what makes sense for yourself, with a full understanding of your motivation.

Do you really want “it”? Or has someone else convinced you that you should want “it”?

Uncovering our true motivation is hard as we all tend to deceive ourselves. Often it’s helpful to talk these issues out with a trusted adviser.

(Example: I talked to Victor Pride for hours about the Gorilla Mindset launch. We spent four hours talking about the subtitle alone. Some of my decisions he agreed with and some he did not. Nevertheless, I had a sounding board to ensure every decision was calculated and well-reasoned.)

Fair or not, no one wants to have an “ebook author” on their show to talk about an ebook. It’s an unfair bias, but it is a bias.

Writing ebooks is sort of like living in the ghetto. If I sell a lot of ebooks, this makes me king of the ghetto. That is not good enough for me.

I have to have a “real book,” and this means a book on Amazon.

There is still a slight stigma against self-published authors, but this is going away. 50 Shades of Grey was originally self-published, and many authors and TV booking agents understand the economics of self-publishing and hence why legit author choose to self-publish rather than go with a Big 6 publishing house.

The economics of publishing on Amazon v. e-Junkie.

I also took an economic gamble, as it’s possible in theory to sell more books via Amazon than on e-Junkie. It seems unlikely the economics will work out in the short term, however, as e-Junkie offers several benefits to Amazon.

Amazon or e-Junkie: pros v. cons.

If you want to make as much money as possible through your writing, then e-Junkie is likely the way to go. Your royalty is higher on e-Junkie, both more in absolute terms (you can sell your books for a higher price) and relative terms (e-Junkie doesn’t take a royalty).

Amazon’s royalty split with authors is either 30-70 or 65-35.

Amazon wants self-published authors to price their ebooks at between $2.99 and $9.99. Your royalty is 70% if priced in that range and it’s 35% if you sell your Kindle book outside of that range.

I listed Gorilla Mindset at $8.99, to save you all a buck, and thus my royalty for each Amazon Kindle book sold is 70% – or $6.20. (My royalty on the print copies is $5/unit.)

E-junkie does not set a price ceiling. List your books for as high as the free market allows!

I’d have listed Gorilla Mindset on e-Junkie for $14.99. E-junkie doesn’t charge a royalty per copy, but instead I pay them $18/month. PayPal takes a cut of each transaction, called a “seller fee.” After PayPal’s fees, my royalty per copy would be $14.10.

To make the same amount of money on Amazon as I’d have made on e-Junkie, I must sell 2.25 more copies.

Will Gorilla Mindset sell twice as many copies on Amazon as on e-Junkie? That’s impossible for me to say, although here is my thinking.

Amazon is a search engine.

Did you know Amazon is the third largest search engine in the world? (Google is first, YouTube is second.)

When I want to read a book about mindset, I go to Google to type “mindset amazon.” Or I go search Amazon directly. Owning this keyword on Amazon is a strong marketing move.

Hence why I have mindset content here at Danger & Play, content on YouTube, and now a book on Amazon.

Amazon is anonymous.

A lot of people who would not buy Gorilla Mindset due to my controversial nature will do so on Amazon due to anonymous ordering. When you order from e-Junkie, you pay via your PayPal account, which reveals your email address and name. Maybe you don’t want me to know you read Danger & Play because you’re rich or famous? Or maybe you’re afraid I’d leak the information (never would).

When you sell something, you want warm or hot buyers to make a quick decision. Get them while they’re hot!

When you purchase an ebook from e-Junkie, you must add the item to a shopping cart, then log into PayPal, then pay me. That’s a lot of clicks, and thus in theory a lot of lost orders. (In online marketing lingo, that’s called a “lost” or “abandoned” shopping cart.)

Step 2. Do what you’re going to do: Take action!

This step is obvious and yet it’s the one most skip. You must take action, even if you don’t “feel” ready.

Sitting around penciling out ideas and visualizing your dream life are important – crucial steps, actually.

You can’t plan everything out, though, as life is dynamic. As with Thai boxing or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, each action you take creates a situation where you will be hit back.

Yes, you will have anxiety before making a move. I felt sick, angry, and anxious before the launch. Yes, I actually felt angry.

“No one is going to buy this book. You wasted your time. This is fucking stupid. Just go back to being a lawyer. You don’t need money anyway. Fuck these guys, they will just torrent the book.”

Is that self-talk an accurate reflection of how I view myself or you? Hell no. But life is a mother fucker, man, and your head will mess with you.

You can all, from the outside, realize this was irrational. I would say the same about your fears and worries. We all have our issues.

Some of us choose to address our issues head-on. Others live in denial of them, with terrible repercussions for their lives.

Remember this: You’re afraid to take action due to fear of unknowable consequences.

You must do something, anything, or your life will never change.

And, yes, you might get your ass kicked. Life hits back and sometimes drops us. “Fall down six times, get up seven.”

As the saying goes, “You won’t know until you try.”

Step 3. Be nice to yourself. What went right?

Although talk of “loving yourself unconditionally” leads to a life without vision and is used to rationalize foolish choices, self-care is crucial.

Whether you launch a book, business, or simply decide to lose some weight, something went right. Always.

If nothing else, what went right is you took action. That reason is something to reflect upon. Most people never do anything. By choosing to take action, you are already above average.

You also learned something from your experience. Each move you make, even if it’s the wrong move, becomes part of your resources. It’s experience to draw upon.

What did I do right?

Professionalism counts. If you want money from people, you had better earn it.

I hired the right people for the right tasks. I hired a development editor to keep me on target and point out anything that didn’t fit. I hired a copy editor, type setter, and book cover designer.

Get a development editor (if you can afford one).

A copy editor checks for typos. A development editor helps you with structure, provides substantive feedback, and gives you comments and criticism.

Since I wanted Gorilla Mindset to help me tip over to broader audiences, it was important to have someone who would “get” the message, respect that I won’t water down content, but also keep me on track.

After struggling to find an editor – several turned me down and one even got a friend of mine who referred her to me in trouble – I remembered Greg had emailed me about GamerGate. Greg is Milo Yiannopoulos’s research assistant for Milo’s forthcoming GamerGate book.

Good enough for Milo, good enough for me!

Gorilla Mindset was written with the assumption that your brothers, fathers, or anyone else could read it without ever having read Danger & Play. Gorilla Mindset is complete in itself, thanks to Greg.

@Cernovich Gorilla Mindset is a fantastic book. I’ll be writing up more thoughts on it later. I am happy to have been a part of the project.

I hired a professional cover designer. The Gorilla Mindset cover looks amazing. This is not due to me. It’s due to due Shauna Danger and Derek Murphy from Creative Indie Covers.

Gorilla Mindset looks better than any of these mainstream books. It pops, has an aggressive look, and will scare away cry babies.

I gave away a PDF copy of Gorilla Mindset. Giving away a PDF copy, which no publishing house would have allowed, was inspired. A lot of people were on the fence about the book, as Kindle is not ideal for a workbook. Also, people love PDFs. By giving it away, anyone who had hesitated immediately bought Gorilla Mindset. There are also a lot of pirates looking to steal Gorilla Mindset. I have strong SEO for the term, “Gorilla Mindset PDF.”

Will I convert all of those thieves into customers? No, but I’ll convert some.

Since the launch date, there have been nearly 5,000 searches for Gorilla Mindset PDF.

Even if you’re not going to give away a PDF to people who buy a print, Kindle, or audiobook copy, get ahead of the pirates. Optimize your page for your book title + PDF.

Giving away the PDF proved my mindset talk isn’t talk. It’s a walk. Here’s a PDF that thieves can easily upload and share. I’m not afraid of anyone torrenting my books. In fact, if someone stole Gorilla Mindset, I’m confident they’d buy a copy on Kindle. (And if they wouldn’t, then who wants them reading Danger & Play? Not me!)

I created demand.

Write for free to build an audience. You should write for at least one year. Ideally you’ll write until you have a good-sized audience.

In my view you should have 2,000 page views a day before publishing a book.

And if no one will read your website or listen to your podcasts when it’s free, why would they pay for your writing?

I released Gorilla Mindset when it was ready, not sooner.

Guys wanted a book for years. I couldn’t release a book until it would be a hit.

How can you know if something is ready? While nothing is perfect, you must have standards.

I wouldn’t release a how-to book on life until it was at the level of what Dale Carnegie and Tony Robbins released. Once I knew Gorilla Mindset was at that level (in many ways it’s better), then the book was finished.

I rented a recording studio for the audiobook.

If you want people’s money, you’d better deliver a professional product. I found a recording studio through a friend.

Learning this post-launch was frustrating. I had planned on bundling the audiobook, print book, and Kindle book into a nice package at a deep discount. Amazon does not allow bundling.

My research revealed you can’t bundle items on Amazon, so it never occurred to me you could sell the Kindle version for $2.99 to guys who bought the print book.

If I had know about that form of “bundling,” I’d have released the print version at the same time as the Kindle version. I delayed the print version as I had a friend check out a printed copy to ensure everything was perfect.

That said, I did give away a PDF, so whatever. It’s not a big deal.

The Table of Contents in the Kindle version isn’t descriptive.

Although the Table of Contents in the PDF and print versions is descriptive, the Kindle version simply says “Chapter 1.” I am getting that issue corrected.

The pictures are too small in the Kindle version.

There’s not much to do about this, as pictures don’t look good in grey scale. If I can have larger pictures in future versions, then I will.

Amazon’s affiliate program allows you to create multiple Amazon affiliate IDs. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t use Amazon affiliate links in book reviews to make money, as 8% of a $10 book is not enough to get me out of bed. Rather I use affiliate links to see what books people are buying, as this tells me what you actually want (revealed preferences).

I should have created separate Amazon affiliate IDs for links via:

Gorilla Mindset email list,

Danger & Play email list,

Twitter,

Facebook,

DangerAndPlay.com.

My links to Gorilla Mindset received over 13,000 clicks. Where did all of these clicks come from and what % of each click converted?

This is data you must know, as it tells you your ROI. Your time is money, and should you spend your time/money on writing articles, networking, posting on Twitter or Facebook, list building, or doing something entirely different?

I know how many clicks, for example, that I receive via Facebook (not many), Twitter (a lot), and my newsletter (in between Twitter and Facebook) due to Bit.ly’s unique links.

Should I spend more time or less time on Twitter, on my email lists, and on Danger & Play? Data tells you.

(Well, in truth everything I do is fun. Even if Twitter had a negative ROI, I’d still use it.)

I didn’t have a back cover for the paperback version.

That’s one of those minor details easy to overlook, as I come from an ebook/online writing background whose biggest question was whether to use e-Junkie or Kindle – neither of which require back covers. If there’s enough interest and demand, I’ll create a checklist for self-published authors.

Always remember your life is a collection of your experiences. Life is the sum total of who you associate with and what activities you spend your time on.

Each action you take in life, whether you win or lose, becomes part of your resources to draw upon. Always remember you are becoming more resourceful, even if you “fail.”

As I’ve learned, in life you will have highs and lows. Although I’m 37 and my life is way better than I could have dreamed, there’s still some perspective. Everything could go away tomorrow. Or I may live a long, perfect life.

There is no way to know how long you’ll live or what will happen in life.

One fact is certain: Your past experiences are the resources you draw upon when making decisions in the future.

Can also embed into Twitter, and YouTube, which is what I’m currently doing.

It’s just 5% + 25¢ per transaction.

Even with E-junkie, you are still paying the 2.9% + $0.30 that PayPal and other payment processors charge per transaction. So it’s worth a look if you want to expand your sales using Twitter, YouTube, and other areas of the web. Using both, would be a great combination.

A while back I looked up a bunch of payment processor options like this.

You can’t beat GumRoad in terms of simplicity and speed of execution. If you are just starting out…it’s hard to beat it.

If you plan on expanding and scaling, you run into problems. Namely, GumRoad doesn’t have an affiliate system and is just a piece of software (with a marketplace) that sits on top of Stripe basically.

Hence why Stripe’s fee is the same as Paypal’s and GumRoad’s is higher. Otherwise their biz model wouldn’t work.

Also, once you start pushing sales volume…payment processors like GumRoad and all the other little payment processors eat into your profit margin.

E.g. 1000 sales/mth @ 20 bucks

[A] Paypal/Amazon Payments/Stripe:
Net profit/unit sold = $19.12

[B] GumRoad:
Net profit/unit sold = $18.75

Each month, if you were [B] instead of [A], you’d be losing $370/mth assuming sales stayed the same.

Essentially, only merchant accounts, Paypal, Stripe, Dwolla, or Paypal Biz Payments (if the buyer has a biz paypal account, payment processing is only a flat $0.50 fee per transaction) are worth it in the end, if you plan on having a lot of sales.

You can learn heaps by reading books. But one thing I’ve been noticing how much you can learn by things that are external to the book. If it’s selling well, asking why can often give just as much value as anything contained within the book.

It also helps when the author explains certain strategies (Thanks Mike). I thought it was a mistake to release the Gorilla Mindset e-junkie PDF until Amazon sales had died down. But entering either “Gorilla Mindset pdf” or “Free Gorilla Mindset pdf” and you can see SEO strategies that were implemented months ago. Something that will pay off over a long time.

With the email list I wonder how accurate the data is. I get the emails but if I’ve already read the post there’s a good chance I won’t open the email. The Danger and Play engagement rate is likely higher than the numbers are showing.

And I’m putting in my vote of yes for a checklist for self publishing authors.

Mike Cernovich

Chasing pirates would be a 24/7 job. I wanted to boost my Amazon rank, so I made it so the book is free is an Amazon purchase is made. My strategy now is to convert pirates into new readers. It will be a small conversation rate, but the alternative is to spend hours fighting a lost cause.

Sir Bones

There’s no point in fighting pirates. Most pirates don’t have the monetary means to buy the products they’re pirating anyway, and the few that do are doing it out of a principle and you wouldn’t get a single cent out of them anyway. In the majority’s case, how can you “lose” sales that weren’t even possible? If one would go through an average teenager’s computer and counted up all pirated media they have as RRP, there’d be tens of thousands of dollars. The media companies would certainly like the idea that this average teenager owes them tons of money. But that’s scarcity mentality at work right there. It’s petty and doesn’t work well with reality.

You can look at the video games industry and its battle with piracy where some companies decide to put in harsh DRM measures for their games that the hackers chew through anyway. It’s their paying customer that loses, as they are inconvenienced by the security measures, while the pirates have zero trouble. Now contrast it with the positive word-of-mouth that DRM-free games get. The polish company CDProjekt started out as a localizing company in a country where piracy was the absolute norm, survived and thrived into who they are today, all through the idea of simply providing a better product than the pirates do. All their games are sold via their own publishing platform with zero DRM. You can pirate them with no problem and they enjoy great success, because they know how the pirates think and how to convert them into paying customers. Even if a pirate buys the games out of respect some time down the road at a discount, it’s still an extra buck made where it wouldn’t have been otherwise.

There is great value in converting those pirates into paying customers. This way, you actually gain sales that you normally wouldn’t have. Paulo Coelho gets it when he endorses people to pirate his books and attributes a part of his success in Russia to piracy. Books are about ideas, and as an author, you want to spread the ideas and have then resonate with the people. I doubt a person that reads Gorilla Mindset and connects with the principles can then safely go on his merry way without paying. The likeliest case is that he’ll buy the book out of respect. The ones that don’t? Simply not their audience and you don’t lose anything – you even gain some extra word-of-mouth.

You’ve written a great book, Mike. Slowly going through it now. The mindful walk blew my mind – something so simple as walking can contribute a noticeable increase in energy and mental clarity. You have written about it before, but it really clicked with me when going through Gorilla Mindset.

Ken

Mike, don’t worry about Kindle Matchbook, I gladly bought both the Kindle 8.99 and Paperback 14.99 versions. That sashimi dinner is on me.

1.5 years ago, you gave me some tough love. I had a negative scarcity mindset and I had asked you in one of your podcast Q&A “How to spot people who are worthwhile to network with”. You and Jay rightfully rediculed my question and introduced me to the abundance mindset, where instead, I try to see how I can help others with all that I have.

This has helped me tremendously and made me feel so grateful for everything I have in life. Because of my gratefulness, I have been working extremely hard to not waste my 20s and my opportunity. I’ve been a much happier person and I can’t thank you enough!

Mike great post. I thoroughly enjoyed your eBook. Once I reach the point where I think I should release an eBook I will follow a similar launch model.

It’s good to see that you are enjoying your life. If you are ever in the States I’d love to sit down with some coffee and get some enlightenment from you. Speaking of that do you plan on having any seminars around the East Coast preferably South Carolina area?

Keep it going,
Sergie

anon1

>You must do something, anything, or your life will never change.

very true.

my best friend passed away on saturday. completely unexpectedly. it was tragic and shocking, he drowned in an accident while on holiday.

Only 26. When i look back on the amount of things he did in his life, the amount of people he helped, initiatives he did, projects he created, the fact that no one had a bad word to say about him, and how he tirelessly and fearlessly beat the odds every time. In business, in charitable initiatives, and in life in general, he gave it his all.

And i look to myself in that same timeframe, and it doesn’t even compare to a hundredth of what he achieved.

He went H.A.M in the 8 short years i knew him in everything he did. He was a friend, my mentor, a genuinely sweet and classic gentleman, and i know for a fact that there are thousands of people grieving because of his passing.

>>You must do something, anything, or your life will never change.

Amen to that.

(just putting this on here, not for twitter.)

Mike Cernovich

Oh wow. Nothing I can say other than I am sincerely sorry for your loss. It’s going to hurt for a while and all you can do is live a life that would honor his life. Be well.

Neocrummer

“I prefer to eat a lot of good food”

Those are some fine looking “dishes” you got there ;).

On a serious note, you can definitely write notes in the kindle. It’s nice to access it while you are say waiting in line at the bank.

Mike,
Thank you for sharing all of this and thanks for sharing your business models! I agree with what Ken said. People will be happy to pay full price for both, especially after all the value that you have given over time. Plus as you mentioned before (not sure where) people would like to use the Kindle version, paperback or audio for different reasons.

Excellent advice in here as well about opportunities and taking chances in life. Will report back after I read the book!

Also, may I ask where you’re at in your main picture for the post? Thanks, Mike!

“he is a liberal gay feminist, but whatever!” seems a little disrespectful considering his involvement, although you may have meant it sarcastically.

Just a thought.

The new cover and subtext is excellent, will be getting a paperback copy of this. Thanks!

Facundo

Nice knowledge supported by actual experience.
Edward de Bono has came up with an excellent tool for making decissions: 6 thinking hats

They refer to diffe

Rich And Meaningful

Asking oneself why you do something, that is an important first step. Recently I discussed this topic with a co-worker, and we agreed that most of our actions were driven by a desire for sex.

Most men lie to themselves about this. We don’t.

I want to have deeper relationships with both men and women in my life.

How am I doing that? Well, I am connecting with people better by being more giving with my time and resources.

Connecting with people really is not easy. It takes sacrifice.

Connecting with people is less about what I want and more about what others want, and providing that for them without hoping for anything in return.

One way that I recently applied this mindset of giving is spending money at an Ethiopian fair recently. By giving to the vendors at this fair (I bought food and tipped well), the vendors were more willing to chat with me.

The other Ethiopians who were attending the event noticed that the vendors were being friendly with me. My demonstrated friendliness with the vendors increased my social proof, and made it easier for me to meet more people at the fair. I’m not Ethiopian, so I’m technically an “outsider”.

I also brought a friend with me to the fair. She kept making comments about how easily I was making friends.

Later on that evening, my friend and I went back to my place to recount our enjoyable evening of eating authentic ethnic food and learning about a new culture. We connected on a deep level.

And then we had sex.

As I said earlier, my intention for going to this cultural fair was to form meaningful relationships with people.

It cost me money. It cost me time. And the entire time that I was spending my cash, I had no idea if it was working or not.

All I did was focus on providing value to the people who were around me.

I wanted to be around them, and I let them know that by supporting their Ethiopian cultural festival. I made some Ethiopian friends, and I connected even more deeply with the friend that I had brought to the event.

Thank you, Mr. Cernovich, for this article.

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