If you want to shutdown the mysql process without the "kill -9" vector, you might want to use -

"mysqladmin shutdown"

which will shut down the mysql engine. You may get an error if you have password protected your mysql. In that case, here's the nuanced command when the username is root and the password is mypass-

"mysqladmin -u root -pmypass shutdown"

Notice that the password immediately follows the -p switch, unlike the username, which is spaced after the -u switch. If you put in the -p switch but don't follow up with a password at all, you will be prompted for a password.

You can also use mysqladmin to check to see if mysql is running-

mysqladmin ping

BTW, you should probably post non-OS-specific questions like this elsewhere on the site... not slapping you around, but as an OBSD user I'm not likely to see this question because it's in the FBSD section.

If you are ssh'd into the box then I would respectfully assert that your paranoia is not justified. However, if you simply provide the -p without the password, it will prompt you to type the password, which will not appear.

If you are telnetted into the box you have already given away the keys to the kingdom upon login to the box itself.