Getting a Quiet Date to Talk

Communication is important on a date, and, if you're with someone quiet, it can make things difficult. After all, you won't get to know a date if they won't talk. Resist the urge to write this person off: You never know what's behind the quiet demeanor.

At the start, remember that silence does not mean lack of interest. Your date may have a hard time explaining themselves. Make sure you're in an environment in which they feel safe to talk. If you're at a party, there may be too much noise or too many people for your date to feel comfortable speaking.

Make sure you are presenting a friendly demeanor. Check to see that you are leaning forward, smiling and nodding when they do speak. If you seem interested in what your date has to say, you'll make it easier for them to speak. Eye contact is also important. Look your date in the eye when either of you is speaking.

Ask your date questions, and, if you know anything about their life, be sure to tailor the questions around what they enjoy. For example, if you know your date is a movie aficionado, bring up some recent releases and ask for their opinion. If you show interest in your date's life, they may feel more open to talking.

If you've managed a conversation with this date before, reference that conversation. This shows you not only care about their life, but that you are also a good listener. Slip in the occasional compliment. This will put your date at ease and show that you're interested.

Ask your date about their communication style. If your date says they are shy or quiet, ask questions about this. Realize that some people do not need to talk all of the time, and think about how you feel about the silence. Don't push them. After all, ultimately, you have to take a person for who they are.

The only way to get to know your date is by talking to them, but you may not know which date conversation topics work when getting to know someone for the very first time. Here are a few safe subjects.

Conversation starters are great when you're feeling at a loss for words. Having some interesting questions or leading remarks tucked away helps make sure you never have one of those terrible, silent dates.