WHAT IF YOU COULD DO ANYTHING OR BE ANYONE YOU WANTED?

For today’s blog post (I post every Tuesday/Thursday:), I wanted to write on a topic that I hold close to me every single day. I don’t normally share these thoughts as they don’t necessarily pertain to motherhood or the things I share on my channel, but one of my goals for 2018 is to be unapologetically raw and real in all my posts. I might be met with more criticism, but if I receive a deeper connection with at least one person then I feel it’s 100% worth it.

^^Annabelle looking at the prettiest sunset in her nursery at our old apartment in Manhattan Beach.

Most of my life I felt that I had to follow a defined path that was set out for me. It was preplanned, pre-destined and I couldn’t change it even if I wanted to. I went to school for the majority of my life. Poured myself into studies I wasn’t necessarily interested in (actually I was never interested in). Spent countless years, hours, nights, weekends learning about things that I’d rarely end up using in my adulthood. WHY?! Because society said it was what I was suppose to do. I went to college initially for journalism funnily enough because I liked to write (even though I’m a terrible writer;). I liked to share my life, share what was on my mind, and research topics people were interested in. I realized at the time journalism would have been such a big “risk”. “Would I even get a job? I have no experience in the field. The jobs online barely pay anything! I can’t live off 45k in SoCal.” Those were my thoughts so I quit my dream. Not that becoming a journalist was my life long destiny, but at the time it’s what I really wanted to do. So I chose a more practical route aka business. I majored in finance because it was safe. I mean, what really is safe? I was and am terrible at numbers, but I busted my butt because I wanted to be a financial planner and help people better their lives, which is ironic because at the time I was accumulating 20k worth of student loan debt HA.

I scratched and clawed my way to that damn finance degree and here I am. Stay at home Mom with a 1 year old baby running my own business which can hopefully one day soon fully fuel my entire family’s income. How insane is that!! Well, after that super long and random intro, in today’s blog post I wanted to share where my mental shift happened and what led me down this path after years of doing what everyone else told me I should do in order to be a “successful” adult.

When I got my first desk job in college as a financial assistant I realized the 8-5 life wasn’t for me! I felt smothered and trapped. Like there was no way out. I hated how I had someone telling me when I could take off days or how much money I made. Even though at the time I was only working 25 hours a week, that was enough for me to know that this life wouldn’t fulfill me. So I started thinking of ways I could work for myself. My Dad had always been an entrepreneur. Starting businesses and telling me from a young age that I didn’t have to be a “sheep” if I didn’t want to, but if I didn’t have a business idea I’d have to stay in school. So I stayed in school and ended up graduating only to find I hated working 8-5. I would drag my feet to work everyday and count the hours until I could race home to work on my channel and blog. I used to go to the public library on my lunch break and work, calculating how much more I’d have to earn in order to quit my job.

I ended up reading this book and it’s changed my life in so many ways. So many thought leaders and business owners recommend reading this book because it teaches you to not live in fear or scarcity. It teaches you that money is abundant and you shouldn’t be afraid of working for yourself. I started to visualize the life I wanted and over the years my visualization has changed and it’s ever evolving, but one thing stays consistent: anything is possible! You are the keeper of your dreams. I spent so many years blaming my situation or the people in my life for my own decisions. YOU control your destiny!

What if you could be anyone you wanted? Do anything you wanted? What if you could wake up each morning financially free. Free from money problems, free from a boss, free from the pressure to please the people in your life. You know what? You can. You just have to make a plan and make it happen. I truly believe I can have anything if I want it bad enough. The key is wanting it bad enough. The hunger, drive, motivation, and eagerness are what’s going to drive your future. So many people aren’t hungry enough for a better, more fulfilling life. They stay in the safe lane. If you’ve ever heard about the law of diminishing returns it all seems to make sense. It means that at a certain point, each unit of expenditure leads to decreasing levels of improvement. Overtime we gradually reach points in our life where we decide that whatever it is we do daily, it’s no longer worth pursuing improvement. We accept that our current performance is high enough and that working harder for the same level of improvement isn’t worth it. How sad and true it that!? This point really hit home for me and made total sense. People stay at their unfulfilling job because they’ve reached a level of performance that they feel comfortable enough with and just give up.

I was determined early on to not get to that point. That I should be ever evolving and pursuing the best life possible for my family. Full of travel, financial freedom, and happiness. Just this year Doug got on board with me, but it takes such a mental shift I don’t blame him for taking this long. It’s scary to think that for your entire life you’ve been conditioned to think a certain way only to find out it’s not creating a truly fulfilling life. Well anyways, I wanted to write this post in hopes that if someone feels stuck like I did or unfulfilled in an area of their life that they might read this and gain some clarity. Clarity to know that you hold the key to your happiness and future. It’s not your circumstance or your environment that’s holding you back. If you want a truly enhanced life, then go get it!! Nothing worth having comes easy, but boy is it worth it when you have it in the end.

12 Comments

Simran

February 6, 2018 / 3:57 pm

Hi Hayley,
I am glad that I read your blogs and watch your channel. I am new mom to 6 month old baby girl and I want to give my family the same thing as you mentioned in your today’s blog. Before reading your blog I was in fear of working for my self and on the other hand don’t want to go back to my old job as I don’t want to leave my baby.
Today you gave me must needed motivation thank you so much.
You are so right we just go with the society without knowing that it’s not going to satisfy.
But today I am more clear and strong about what I want to be, achieve and fulfill
Love 💞
Simran
Australia

Hi Hayley,
Thank you for this post. I am first time mom to a 6 month old baby girl and I want to give her everything. Honestly I was scare of working for myself and on the other hand don’t want to go to my old job as I want o take care of my little Buba.
Your post gave me much needed motivation and clarity on what I really want to achieve for my self and for my family.
I also watched your latest vlog and I am truly relate with you
I thought you are just reading my mind.
Thanks for both posts hayley
Love you💞
Simran
Australia

I absolutely love that you’re getting back to writing blog post! I agree with you 100%. Maybe next you could share tips to staying motivated, when circumstances are working overtime against you.. Ps. Annabelle is getting so big! 😊

I am 20 years old and I feel at a huge turning point in my life . I know I can carve out my own destiny, but you showed me that I have to have a plan. I need a plan of action so that I can wake up in the morning and feel financially free! My partner and I will not be choke by student loans and rent payments anymore. I don’t know how long it will take him ( as it took doug this long), but I will get us out of this rut. I would love to wake up at 26 with financial freedom and be a stay at home mom on a beautiful ranch. This is my visualization right now. Thank you for showing me it is real and I am able.

My name is Kadi and I am the girl from Estonia who commented on your last Instagram live video (if you remember). I have been following your YouTube channel for quite some months now and recently started reading your blog too.

I really relate to you as I’m also a stay at home mom with a 14 months old son and dreaming and planning a life of an entrepreneur. Before having my baby I worked 5 years in a media agency as a digital marketing lead and got really into YouTube and blogging world.

I established my own company already 2 years ago (it’s really in Estonia as we have a really advanced tech country where everything can be done online with a digital ID signature). I have earned money from very small Google SEM project and some other non marketing related things. In the end of last year I decided to start a blog as I do enjoy writing. After having a baby and moving to our own place last May I really got into minimalistic lifestyle and wanting to reach a point in our life where we are financially free. Before having our baby we also started learning more about investing in different financial instruments (especially stock funds) which should help a lot in building the before mentioned financial freedom.

In Estonia we have a 1,5 years of paid “mom vacation” by the goverment which means that I can stay at home with my boy for 1,5 years with having the same income as I did when I was working at the office. This is a huuuge thing and I am really grateful for it. Unfortunately all good things come to an end and so does this in May 2018. We have already decide with my other half that I will not return back to a desk job yet (hopefully never!) and will try to make a living of my own through digital marketing, maybe blogging and hopefully some day through YouTube too which I have not started yet but am planning when my blog Facebook account reaches 1000 fans (probably this month!) – just a random desicion from me. 🙂

I made a really long intro but the point is that I really thank you for putting in all the effort (and sleep hours) to maintain this blog and YouTube channel. I really relate to you and your life which is really inspiring! Some time ago I decided that if something or someone makes me really happy, is useful or inspires I will let them know. So here I am, letting you know. 😉

Thank you a lot and keep up the good work. I really like that you are as you are and don’t make things to impress everybody and talk from your heart and soul. This is that speaks to people and who does not like it they are welcome to leave and not read/ watch.

Have a good day and whenever you find yourself in Estonia, I am more than happy to show you are small but really beautiful country. 🙂

Kadi Buht
A also sleep deprieved stay at home mom dreaming of a life of financial freedom

This blog post is so encouraging! I really needed this today. I’m in the same boat you were. I’m in college, and I feel like the 8-5 job isn’t the right fit for me either. For a while now, I’ve been trying to make my blog successful so I can blog for a living. I absolutely love it, but it’s discouraging sometimes. Thank you so much for reminding me anything is possible if I want it badly enough, and I control my own destiny!