btdt moms and ftm moms

I've been really excited but today I woke up with a lot of anxiety. Im just so afraid that I won't know what to do when my dd finally comes. What if I suck at being a mother? Im sure these are normal feelings but it sure is a scary feeling

Your instincts will take over especially when you leave the hospital. Just pay attention to your baby and go with your gut. It takes a lot of neglect and just complete stupidity to be a sucky mom. As long as your trying even If you need some help your still a good mom and don't let anyone tell you different. Your baby only has one mom, YOU and your the only one he knows so to him or her you'll be the best mom ever.

I personally think I did suck at being a FTM that first year. I had a colic-y baby, felt like I had no support (not because I didn't but because I wasn't willing to take it) and a baby that screamed for hours and hours no matter what I did. I don't know how many times I got frustrated and begged my DD to stop crying while I bawled with her. It took me a while to learn to put her down and walk away before I got to that point. I also had anxiety over every little thing that was wrong and panicked alot.

However, it was a learning curve and I definitely did some learning and had to learn not to take every cry as something personal. I honestly think now I am a pretty good mother and know how to handle her alot better. I also think I am more prepared for this one.

Chances are you won't have the colic-y baby that I did, but there will still be some learning to be done that nothing can prepare you for. You learn as you go and get better each day and that is really what it is all about.

Btdt and your feelings are normal. It's probably what separates the good moms from the rest- you care if you suck :)

Your baby won't know any different since you're the only mother she has. Any choice you make will be the right one simply bc you're the mother and you know best. It's instinct, mixed with common sense, with a good amount of love. You'll be fine. Try to relax.

You won't SUCK at being a mom! IMO, a sucky mom INTENTIONALLY or SELFISHLY harms her baby. For example: a mother who is out at the clubs the week after the baby is born and puts her friends before the well-being of her child. THAT is a sucky mom.

Will you be a perfect mother? Nope - far from it. But you will be the perfect mother FOR that baby...does that make sense? I can think of so many things I wish I could change the way I did them 1st time around but my daughter is a happy, healthy 3 1/2 year old today and I'm expecting #2...I must've done something right!!! She says please, thank you, she is filled with smiles, hugs and kisses....she is beautiful. Of the mistakes I made, I think I did a pretty damn good job. And by "mistakes" I mean letting her sleep in bed with me to keep her from crying, or waiting 2 weeks to take her to the doctor because I felt stupid calling over something so "minor" which turned out to be acid reflux. I hated myself for weeks after that thinking I let my baby suffer with acid reflux for 2 weeks before getting it treated because I didn't want to be "that mom" at the pedi office....dumb!!!!

You will always second-guess yourself but just love your baby...everything else will fall into place. Keep that baby smiling and happy and comfortable and content. Everything else will just come natural!! What are your specific fears? I'm afraid I won't give baby girl enough to eat...LoL that's a weird fear because if she finishes one bottle I can make another one and see if she wants more. But you are always going to have fears....all you can do is have patience, confidence and enjoy every single moment, even the tears. It goes by WAY too quick to wonder if you're being the perfect mom. Soon those infant cries are going to turn into a 3 1/2 year old toddler cry because she wants to read 5 books before bed and you only want to read 2!!! :)

Just the fact that you are worried about being a good mom... means you have nothing to worry about! It's the moms that only care about themselves and don't care our worry about their baby are the"bad"moms! You'll do great!

Thank you all so much. I guess Im more afraid of not being able to stop her crying or if she starts choking. I hate hearing babies cry it makes me sad lol. I just don't want anything to happen to her and babies seem so small and fragile it just amazes me how delicate they are. It scares me