When you know you're with the wrong person

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I feel lost. I'm sorry for typing this. I feel like I've lost most of my reasons for living. But I have 2 sons. I feel so hurt. I am starting to cry like a baby, I've always had depression and I feel like the one little thing I had to make me happier is gone. He doesn't even care. I'm too weak and sensitive I always was. I don't want to cry. I feel like a weakling.

I feel lost. I'm sorry for typing this. I feel like I've lost most of my reasons for living. But I have 2 sons. I feel so hurt. I am starting to cry like a baby, I've always had depression and I feel like the one little thing I had to make me happier is gone. He doesn't even care. I'm too weak and sensitive I always was. I don't want to cry. I feel like a weakling.

Being upset and sad over ended relationship is only normal, regardless if it was good relationship or not. Itís a change. Change is always hard. Focus on positives in your life. Let yourself grieve and try to heal. It will get better. Crying isnít wrong either. Give yourself time to process it. Be gentle to yourself

I want to update about this. The wallet was found, but by the time I got it I had new i.d., not a big deal I suppose.

I did apologize to the bf then that he wasn't at fault.

I had "made up my mind" that he was making me more depressed.

I am stuck financially at my home for reasons I just don't want to put in this thread.

He did not forgive me for my mistake about saying I thought he might haven taken the wallet. The more I think of the relationship we had, the more I see how much he said "you are bossy, you are controlling", yet the more ways I see that he was controlling me, even my emotions. By saying "I love you", then withdrawing affection as he felt like it, making everything wrong about me, telling me "you can't change, so this can't work", and almost never looking at his own behavior, this all angers me so much.

What do I do with my time? I had wanted to volunteer but that meant a long drive because all volunteering options are in a city too far from me, and I live in a small town. THere aren't volunteer opportunities that wouldn't affect myself financially.

I have music, that I play. I'm getting tired of it. The depression is getting real. I feel somewhat like the crumbs he gave me were better than nothing. But he cut me down. He rarely made me feel good. I remember he started to compliment me in the beggining of our relationship, and then saying "but I don't want you thinking your'e too hot".... huh. I'm hardly that at all imo. I liked being told he loved me, the affection part of our relationship. Love isn't all physical. Love seems too complicated for a woman like me. I still feel lost. I don't know other than cleaning and offering to do what I'd do before for a living, more often. Just tired of giving and not getting love in return.

He'd often say "I'm all yours".... but he didn't make me feel like a priority in his life. I guess I just need to learn how to be alone with my feelings but its hard. At my home the living arrangements are putting me into financial trouble, not my irresponsibility. I wish I could put everything out here, but it's too personal.

It's natural to be angry when you've gotten the raw end of the deal and when someone has mistreated you. You may feel angry or bitter for a while. Do you ever journal? I found that journaling and letting my feelings out on paper to myself really helps. Or let it all out here. It's healthy to acknowledge your feelings and to let it out. After a while of feeling that way, you will move onto another stage.... most likely acceptance and moving on from what happened. Just know in your heart and mind that you do deserve better treatment than that. It's one way to heal and move forward, is to know that you would never accept less than what you truly want and how you want to feel in a relationship. And one should mainly feel good in a relationship, not depressed, bad about oneself and unhappy.

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"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

He did not forgive me for my mistake about saying I thought he might haven taken the wallet.

I don't think that your suspicion of him was a "mistake". It was a reasonable inference under the circumstances, especially when recalling his financial situation and that he advised you not to go to the Police.

I used to journal but the problem is someone finding it, or fear of someone even finding it on my computer someday. Sometimes I write a few things out and then rip them up, making sure no one can read it. It helps. I suppose I'll get to accepting things, I still long for those crumbs of affection. That's what I really enjoyed, not sex, not material things, just being held and thinking I was loved.

I agree that I wasn't being too much suspicious considering the circumstances, about the wallet. It says something about myself though, I clearly didn't trust him. It's amazing to me what I'd stick with just to avoid being alone with myself. Thanks for the support, this community is so good to people. I'm still looking for ways to enjoy myself now.... depression is there, but it was there before too. I guess the times I did enjoy with him distracted me from the underlying emotions.

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