Jon Stewart: In The Newt Vs. Mitt Mortal Kombat Battle, Mitt Wins

Jon Stewart came back from the weekend with little but the Florida primary to look forward to and a cluster of polls from various points of the Republican race that showed Mitt Romney in a heated battle with Newt Gingrich for the top spot. Such a heated battle, in fact, that Stewart compared the bloodbath to a level of Mortal Kombat, one that culminated with someone’s spine broken in a video game.

Before the South Carolina primary, Stewart noted, Romney was set to win Florida in a landslide, “a Romslide, if you will.” Then Gingrich pulled what Stewart called some “dick-foo” in the South Carolina debate, attacking Romney so hard that it won him the primary and boosted him to frontrunner status– “Gingrich in a landslide! A… Gingride?”

The slight chance of victory went to Gingrich’s head almost immediately, however, as he began to talk in speeches about the end of his second term already. Stewart mocked this, making fake promises for Gingrich, culminating with: “By my seventh term, I will have trained cats to do the jobs that immigrants do!”

But it was not to last– Romney saw the victory tactic and turned it around on Gingrich, and it was “No more Mr. Nice Mormon” during last Thursday’s debate. As with all Mortal Kombat fights, this one ends with the growl of, “Finish Him.”