The Dress Code for Good Christian Women

Hey, look! It’s the Jesus-approved dress code. For women only. Men, I guess, can still wear whatever the hell they want.

There’s so much to criticize here, but let me just move to the bottom right. Why are these rules so important? Because you need to “Help out your brothers in Christ — Don’t be their stumbling block.”

By that logic, women (and only women) are to blame for everything from men ogling them to men assaulting them. Look: if men can’t control themselves, women shouldn’t have to wear burkas. The men just need to get blindfolds.

There’s also this: “Represent God and Harding University in an appropriate manner.”

Is this a sign that went up at a university?! It makes sense, I guess, that a Christian college would treat all students like kindergartners.

And to quote one person on Twitter, how appropriate that they gave this character a name popular in the 1800s.

Gertrude made a mistake, though. Her arms are bare. Let’s hope she can run away from the Christian cops in those heels!