Hope through the dark places

Two Scoops of Grace with Chuckles, Even in Grief

Several years ago, I met Jeanette Levellie at a writer’s conference. We clicked. But then I suspect she clicks with a lot of people. She’s warm, giving, feisty and loves the color orange.

Now her book, Two Scoops of Grace with Chuckles on Top has been published (Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas, 2012), and these characteristics in her shine through it’s pages. I have been reading it with delight, for it’s a gathering of laugh-out-loud stories. It’s main idea? The reassurance of God’s love and grace extended to us in all of our frailties.

Jeanette’s book is good medicine for whatever difficulty you may be going through…even grief.

In her chapter, ‘From Hair to Eternity’, Jeanette tells on herself as she works through a bad hair day. She informs her husband that this is one area where you NEVER agree with a woman. She then swings over into God’s seriousness about that word never …as in “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) Jeanette encourages her readers with, “I can’t fix you. I can’t even fix me. But I know Someone who can. He has promised never to leave us. From bad hair days to seasons of sorrow and destruction, we can depend on God’s promise to hold us in His heart and hands.”

Then there is the story about a wife’s false teeth ending up in her deceased husband’s mouth, and the wife’s humor in spite of her loss as she says, “Well then, I did get the last word in after all, didn’t I?”

I have no intention of minimizing the pain of loss, but we may well welcome a sense of humor at times during our grief. Somehow, it lightens the mood.

Do you have any humorous anecdotes during your “not so funny” time of grief?

Thank you, Jeanette. Sandi posted (GriefTalk) a question for discussion, which deals with how/why we each do grief the way we do. Perhaps you’ll weigh in there. BTW – looking forward to reading your book. I couldn’t help but think of Erma Bombeck as Sandi described it. Humor really is the best medicine for what ails you.

Jeanette,
Thank you for your comments. I am looking forward to reading your book. God gave me a sense of humor and in the midst of sorrow, pain, or tough times I have found this gift has served me well.

I never feel we’re minimizing grief in sharing a laugh but others aren’t so sure when they’re in the company of people early in the process of grieving. Shortly after our daughter died we were invited to a dinner for the choir members at someone’s home. While we were not choir members, we accepted the invite, a kind gesture to care for us.

After our meal, we retired to the living room where a Christian comedian was played on dvd. His routine included a segment about food at funerals. Well, you could have heard a pin drop in that room because, according to my husband (situated farther back from me in the room), all eyes turned my direction – the mother of a recently deceased child. Unaware of the stares, I laughed, much like I would have before our daughter died. The bit was funny –so I laughed! I think it took a few seconds for my laughter to register with others, allowing them to relax a bit.

After my husband discussed this with me later in the evening, I recognized, yet again, people were watching to see the appropraite way to handle any number of things around a family dealing with the tragic loss of a child. At that point, I was used to it. As mentioned before, I learned very quickly after our daughter died I’d have to hold myself up and pull others, even those more removed from the loss, along with me. I’m sure many were shocked to find we’d be laughing as often as humanly possible under the circumstances.

Sandi,
I visited Jeanette’s website and what a delight. I believe in laughter and it’s healing power. Sam was quite a jokester, thus his nickname ‘Stir’ for stirring up trouble. We shared practice jokes and a similar humor. Those deep belly laughs are something I miss everyday. Sam was extremely frugal. As I exited the hospital parking lot on the morning Sam died, I was sobbing. The parking attendant ask me if I was okay. I replied, ‘No, my boyfriend just died.’ She replied in a very sweet gentle voice, ‘You do not have to pay for that.’ As the arm lifted and I preceded to exit the hospital, I looked upward and said, ‘Free parking Sam, you gotta love that!’. I know Sam was smiling really big at that moment cause in my deepest sorrow I still had my sense of humor.

"Words of wisdom from those who have had to walk through grief: be gracious/patient/forgiving when we forget appointments, change our minds at the last minute, don't return phone calls, act a lil' crazy."
Kelly Schleyer Powers

"You do not work through bereavement. It works through you."
Virginia Ironside,
'You'll Get Over It'-The Rage of Bereavement

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love."
Washington Irving

"I wish you would've told me," she said, "that losing you would be like losing my life."
...taken from author, Mary De Muth's novel, The Muir House.

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Psalm 147:3

"In a world rocky with human failure, there is a land lush with divine mercy. Your Shepherd invites you there. He wants you to lie down. Nestle deeply until you are hidden, buried, in the tall shoots of his love, and there you will find rest."
...Max Lucado,Traveling Light