New memories

It has been a bittersweet 18 months for Sarah Rose, a carer whose mother, Vera, has Alzheimer's.

Sarah spent a year encouraging friends and family to organise a series of trips, events and experiences for Vera, culminating in a fantastic 80th birthday celebration.

However Vera will probably move into a care home soon, and Sarah is preparing for a new stage in her relationship with the woman she calls her best friend.

Devastating diagnosis

Sarah's mother Veronica, known as Vera or Wee V, was born in Glasgow as one of 16 siblings. She worked for a time making presentation boxes and as a waitress, but dedicated much of her life to raising her three children as a single parent. She also cared for her own mother for 10 years.

'Her passion has always been her family,' says Sarah.

Vera visited her doctor in Worksop, Nottinghamshire around Christmas nine years ago. Her family had noticed her becoming uncharacteristically dependant, asking for help with shopping and bills.

'Nobody in the family had ever had dementia – it was such a shock when Alzheimer's was mentioned. We had to look into what it meant,' says Sarah.

'It was unbelievable, it was devastating.'

Sarah says her mother was in denial for some time after her diagnosis in 2009.

'She just didn't see it, because she could still remember things from years ago,' she says.

'It took her three or four years to know it was there. She began to say, "My mind is a sieve," and, "I just can't remember."

'Really I lost my mum four years ago – the one who was my best friend, who I could talk to about my problems,' says Sarah.

'Really I lost my mum four years ago – the one who was my best friend, who I could talk to about my problems,' she says.

'The roles have reversed. I've become the parent.'

Sarah cared for Vera for up to 12 hours a day before they began living together in March of this year.

It now looks likely that Vera will move into a care home.

'Mum needs 24-hour care and it's heart-breaking that I'm not able to give it,' says Sarah.

'We've got a big decision to make as a family about full-time care, but I feel guilty.'

Memorable moments

After watching television coverage of the run-up to the Queen's 90th birthday, Sarah decided to make the most of the 12 months before Vera's 80th.

Sarah was already active on social media, using Facebook to document her outings and activities with her mum.

Building on this, she created a Facebook group called 'Making Memories with Wee V'. She asked friends and family to take photos and videos while doing any interesting activities with Vera, such as going on trips, and then to share them online through the group.

Some of the memories harked back to years past. Sarah recorded her mum singing the same songs she would sing to her as a child, while others took Vera to Cleethorpes, which they used to visit together.

Another of the memories was Vera being told, on Christmas Day, that she was to become a great-grandmother.

Sarah says one of Vera's most enjoyable experiences was getting to dress up as a fairy godmother.

'Mum loves children and would light up when she was with my goddaughter. It was like medicine to her,' says Sarah.

'My goddaughter Beau started calling her the fairy godmother, so we dressed Mum up as one. Everyone was clapping – it was one of the best moments for Mum.'