When it comes to love you can either be in control of where your life is heading and the relationship you attract and create, or you ca be at the mercy of...

"hoping it will happen."

"faith it will happen."

"praying it will happen."

"waiting for it to happen."

So many women believe that longing for a man and waiting until the supposed "right time" for it to happen are enough—all that means is that they aren't willing to do their part, to put themselves out there, learn to tap into the Femininity, understand men and how to love them and do what they have to do. That is what being addicted to comfort is—we want it all done for us, with no risk, effort, investment or action on our part—except it doesn't happen like that.

The best results are when we choose to partner with the Universe and that means—doing our part.

You've been given time here on Earth, but it’s your choice to steward it with wisdom, or let the years be wasted.

A breakup. A dream relationship ends. Dream relationship because you could have sworn this was it—your soulmate..."The One..." but yet he was never quite committed, never quite yours...

You had more than high hopes, your every day was filled with excited thoughts for where this was going.

And after the breakup, as you are reeling in pain, after days of feeling lost, crying, grieving...

You realize you are reliving an exact moment that happened 2 or 4 or 6 years ago. The not quite available man, the relationship where you kept trying, kept hoping, kept waiting… to treat you in the adoring way you want to be treated, to see you as his true one and only.

But time hasn't waited for you. And you realize the same pattern has happened… and the world's heaviness feels like it is crushing you along with all of your dreams of having long lasting, passionate, truly committed love.

A new client of mine going through this one just this week.

How long will you continue to repeat patterns, until you realize that maybe you need to really course correct, get a handle on this, stop being passive, stop hoping… until you realize there is some deep work that needs to happen? How long will you continue to waste precious days, precious years—that could be filled with the right fit—because you are waiting and waiting, hoping and hoping...that potential turns into something real.

When we as women lock down on one choice of a man, before we've truly seen if he is a fit for YOU, if he is available, if he really is going in the same direction as your dreams—when we lock down on ONE man as the only only way (its ok if you feel he is your hands down number one choice—it's just a problem when you think he is your only choice ever)—that leads you to lose your power, your worth and your valuable, valuable time.

If you can't break this cycle get help… figure out a way, get good at this dating thing...time doesn't wait, like you do.

A high value woman learns how to create abundance and receive from men (plural)...she learns to attract high level, high quality choices—so she never has to give her power to a choice that isn't quite right. This abundance and momentum in turn often has men who were previously unavailable shift and finally fully dive in—and it also has other better men step in.

Empower yourself by learning to create choices in your life. That is what a High Value Woman does!

Control, control, control—that is why we chase a man. We don't know how to attract the love we want and so we have to find ways to force it, control it, make it happen, and force a man to like us, commit to us and be with us.

We stalk him on social media.

Text him just to say hi.

We put on an image, we try to be sweet, nice and do things for him.

We aggressively try to be nice if you know what I mean—trying hard to impress him, convince him and win him over.

All of those are the exact opposite of feminine energy whose foundation is emotional freedom. You aren't free—therefore he pushes away from the prison you are in of control.

And we control because we are disconnected from our Feminine power and because inside we allow fear and desperation to be the only means we USE to get love. It's unattractive—and no woman in her masculine energy is going to attract the sort of masculine man she wants.

That's when men pull away, ghost us, make convenient excuses like saying "he really wants to see you but he just had a family emergency or he has been super busy lately." Or maybe he does see you for coffee, or invites you to hang, or may even till take you to dinner one last time… but its clear he's no longer excited or making an effort and you somehow feel you've been put in the booty call or friend zone.

Masculine men are not attracted to Masculine energy in women. Men don't like to be controlled, chased, pursued...

How attracted would you be to a guy who takes 2 and a half hours to do his hair, nails and makeup before seeing you, who expects you to send him flowers and chocolates, and wants you to make all the plans and be the man?

No problem there with anyone doing it, I am saying that if you are the Feminine energy—you will be attracted to masculine energy (and this goes beyond gender).

Feminine energy, the real feminine energy, not the outer fake feminine energy a lot of people are teaching nowadays, triggers intense attraction in men.

And knowing how to differentiate between them can mean night and day in saving you precious years of your life—so you can make room for the right men in your life?

It's vital to understand what type of man you are with and where he is at in life and why certain men will make you feel in certain ways—and to know if you are truly compatible with this man or not.

After all we have a lot of clients who want to honor their family reproductive years and not waste time on the wrong partner.

A man that isn't aligned to you is a man you will never quite feel like a woman with, and will not be able to give you what you want. But once you find a man that is—then everything begins to work and flow, there is ease and peace, fulfillment and happiness...

Being parented well—is being prepared well for life and in an ideal world we all would have been raised not just in a protective environment, but in one where our emotional world was nurtured and we came out of it whole inside—as well as one where we were prepared…

To be parented is to be prepared for life—to have been taught about men, relationships, femininity… instead of being thrown to life left to figure it out on our own (leading to so much loss, grief and heartbreak.)

Prepared to know how to navigate life...

To navigate finances

To navigate friendships

to navigate love, attraction, femininity and men.

To know when to set boundaries and when to move on, to know when to protect ourselves and when to avoid painful losses that happened because we made mistakes...

However acting imperfectly is part of being a growing soul. Making mistakes and holding opposites within you—both a wounded little girl and a spirit and being of great light… coexisting in either an internal world of self shame or in a world inside that every day is gaining ground in becoming more loving to herself.

Forgives. Forgiveness. Forgiveness...

→ Forgiving yourself for not having known better. Or for having known better and still having done it anyway because you needed for so much inside or you felt out of control or your emotions took control.

And empowerment, empowerment, empowerment—(learning now what you need to do to figure this out so you can have your dream of love and a fulfilling life.)

And a recommitment to Parent yourself which means to empower yourself, to mentor yourself, to get the support you need, to have your back and to keep learning—while always making room for all of the messy, imperfect mistakes you are still going to make.

I want you to share with us 3 things you forgive yourself for (or want to)... mistakes you made where you were far from perfect.

Comment below—what do you (hand over your heart) forgive yourself for? Name 3 things that caused losses for your life, that you mourn, grieve, regret.

I get this from my clients all of the time. In fact I used to say this too. That's a woman's desire for a man's masculinity, his initiative taking and overcoming → you aren’t wrong for wanting this from men.

However here is where it is off in us ladies—and it’s easy to turn around:

A man won't approach a woman who isn't open, especially nowadays with so many important conversations around consent.

A woman who seems like she isn’t open can come off as shut down or as a masculine energy woman (or at least in that moment.)

What do I mean by an open woman?

Well, just like you as a woman have a radar for masculine energy, so does a man for feminine energy.

If a woman isn't approachable, warm, open, inviting it signals to him at a primal level that you aren't up for being approached or even more so that a woman isn’t in her Feminine. Women in their masculine energy with men feel like they could become emasculating woman in relationship and could also constantly be in competition with him, so possibly derail his purpose/mission as a man.

So an example:

He looks at you across the room…

Do you pretend not to see him?

Or do you make warm eye contact and smile back (open).

As a woman you want strong boundaries, you want to filter men out that aren’t a fit for you and by no means accept anything that is disrespectful, but you also need to make sure your energy is undefended, unguarded, open, approachable, warm→ Use your b!t$h shield only when truly needed.

B!t$h Shield = Masculinity.

Your heart is your Feminine core, show it to them men you want to approach you.

I see this over and over—when a guy can serve you, help you, fix something for you… when he can listen to your heart and emotional world as you seek him out to share your heart… and to need his presence...

He is made to feel like the Man that is there to help you...

It is a potent way of having a Man feel intense feelings for you. He feels seen as a Man, very deeply and this feels like love for him.

So learning to allow a man to help you, receiving from him, being feminine when he doesn't give to you the right way by sharing vulnerably and non-aggressively how you need his help, showing appreciation (authentically because you did allow him to help you)...makes a man feel like a MAN… like a Super Man.

I see this all the time with the men in the my life, not to mention my partner. When a Man feels he cannot help a woman, can't make her happy, she places burdens and expectations on him which he can't meet or ever win at his heart slowly begins to feel smaller and smaller—his soul begins to feel terribly unseen, unappreciated, and dishonored as a Man.

Receptivity ladies, is a HUGE Feminine energetic—going to your Man for help in a heart centered, vulnerable, Feminine way will make him feel Purpose driven in your life and like he is needed as your MAN.

(And I have a feeling you also kind of want him to be that man for you.)

From a healing perspective, I don't believe in labeling anyone—and I advocate personal responsibility over pointing the finger—(and I do believe we are throwing labels such as “narcissist” around nowadays as if they are nothing---> however part of being a High Value Woman is being CLEAR on when to walk away and QUICKLY IDENTIFYING red flags…

Knowing how to separate a quality man from a man that needs no more of your time...

If your relationship is painful, your heart keeps being broken over and over, you are disrespected, manipulated, used and mistreated… or you keep attracting men who are showing red flags...

Although all men (and women) will have some baggage, a large percentage of men are just responding to how we show up—and they treat us as a soulmate, a queen or a buddy or booty call depending on how we show up—they are the best mirrors… some men are dangerous, highly toxic, abusive and very dysfunctional… or simply out to get what they want without giving anything much in return….and definitely not worth one ounce of your time beautiful!

When you get good at identifying good, available, quality men—you will be able to know and feel peaceful about walking away into thousands of other options of men from a man who doesn’t deserve any more of your energy.