Michael F. Jacobson: The Man Who Killed Sparks

Michael F. Jacobson is the head of a nonprofit organization called the Center for Science in the Public Interest, which lobbies for stricter food and beverage regulations. The CSPI convinced five states' attorneys general that the combination of energy and booze in Sparks was dangerous, and the attorney generals brought a lawsuit to MillerCoors. MillerCoors settled and agreed to take the energy ingredients out. You can read the CSPI's press release about it here.

To be honest, some of the shit we ingest should have warning labels and calorie counts posted, but this Michael F. Jacobson guy sounds like a bit of a tight-ass who could benefit from drinking a few Sparks himself. From Wikipedia

Jacobson is a vegetarian and sits on the national board of the "Great American Meatout." He has said that "CSPI is proud of finding something wrong with practically everything." Jacobson and his organization have criticized a wide variety of foods and beverages as unhealthful. He and CSPI frequently use colorful terms to emphasize their oppositionn to certain foods. What has been called the "food cop glossary" includes Fettuccine alfredo- "heart attack on a plate," salt - "the forgotten killer," sugary soft drinks - "liquid candy," movie theater popcorn -"Godzilla of snacks," fondue - "fondon't," ice cream - "coronaries in cones," double cheeseburger - "a coronary bypass special," appetizers - "the most treacherous territory on a restaurant menu," Starbucks' Venti Caffe Mocha with whipped cream - "a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in a cup," Ruby Tuesday's Fresh Chicken & Broccoli Pasta - "angioplasta," Chipotle Chicken Burrito - "tortilla terror," and Cheesecake Factory's Chris' Outrageous Chocolate Cake - "factory reject."

Sure, Sparks is fucking nasty and, yes, terribly unhealthy. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't be able to turn our tongues and livers orange drinking it. FREE SPARKS. We can make our own decisions, Michael.

I actually grew up reading Nutrition Action, the magazine published by CSPI but honestly Sparks is just a mix of two moderately unhealthy drinks- canned energy and canned beer mated into, heaven forbid, one can!