Netflix to remove all Christian content after complaints from Muslims

Netflix are to remove all references to Christ and Christianity from its services after a record number of complaints from Muslims.

The quite good video streaming service is pulling all its latest shows featuring Christian themes such as The Vicar of Dibley, Father Dowling Investigates, as well as 1990 smash hit Nuns on the Run.

This comes after the Muslim Brotherhood of Bath and Northeast Somerset sent a strongly worded letter to CEO Reed Hastings.

The complaint, written by leader Ali McLaren on 18th century halal goatskin, outlined the offence caused by some of Netflix’s programming. It said: “We demand you remove this terrible material from your website immediately.

“It’s bad enough we have to pay for bullshit we can download for free anyway, without Dawn French’s infidel face being thrust into our televisions.

“And our group of three members speaks for the entire Muslim population, because that’s what we’ve read in the Daily Express.”

Netflix subscriber and pub philosopher Jim Shaker, at a press conference at a table by the slot machines, said: “It’s an absolute disgrace. This is a Christian country and if we want to watch shit sitcoms and British cinema before it was good, then we have earned that right through years of suffering them the first time round.

“If I actually paid for what I watch on the Internet then I’d be really annoyed.”

A spokesbuffer for Netflix UK, after being paused for five minutes, finally said: “We are not caving into pressure from the Muslim community.

“It’s just a coincidence that we are reshooting House of Cards in Islamabad and all the characters in Orange is the New Black will be sentenced to death for being lesbians.

“The change in our output is based on reasons of quality, fairness, and being shit scared of anyone who doesn’t agree with Donald Trump.

“We plan to fill the gaps in our scheduling with inoffensive nostalgic shows such as Jim’ll Fix It, Rolf’s Cartoon Time and a new Netflix reality series called Gary Glitter: Baby Sitter.”