In this famously edgy series, we interrogate IT Pros in order to find out what makes them tick. In this episode, we dug ruthlessly into the life of ICH, aka "Ian."

Here is what we got out of him:

Round One: Basic Questions

What brought you to Spiceworks?

Initially it was the inventory. I needed to set up something cheap and simple as a proof of concept to convince management to give me the money to buy “proper” system. I found SpiceWorks, and then did not need money for a better system. I later added the Helpdesk.

What keeps you here?

The community. I think that the Inventory and Helpdesk have fallen behind, and I don’t use them any more, but the community is a unique forum of experts.

What is your favorite aspect of the site?

Again, the community.

What got you into the IT field?

An enthusiastic teacher at school, who was prepared to run voluntary lessons on Saturday mornings. Ever since then I was ahead of my peers when it came to understanding computers and related technology.

What has been your favorite part of the industry?

I really enjoyed working on Police Systems, but I think where I am now is where I have enjoyed myself the most, and felt most valuable to my employer.

What do you do now?

I am the Network Manager at a Special Needs School.

How did you learn your job?

Whilst I have done a few formal courses along the way, it has mainly been by learning from experienced colleagues, and trial and error.

What are your favorite technologies to work with?

I don’t have one. I work with and support people who use technology, I don’t support the technology.

What sort of challenges do you face in maintaining your infrastructure?

Lack of money. Schools are always short of money.

What new technologies are you implementing or looking at? Why?

We are moving to the Cloud in a big way. All our Accounting, Safeguarding and achievement recording is now in the Cloud. Most of our data storage is Cloud based already, and the last of it will be there this summer.

What recent projects have you wrapped up? What did you learn from them?

Installing a new VoiP telephone system, Cloud based, (of course, see above). I learnt that Murphy is alive and well, and waiting to “assist” wherever possible.

Do you have any other story from the IT trenches that you would like to share?

I have a few stories from my time working in Police Technical Services that I can’t tell you due to the Official Secrets Act.

[redacted]

[redacted]

[redacted]

What advice do you have for people entering the IT field today?

Never pass up an opportunity to learn something new. And remember – users are users whatever Industry they are working in.

Do you have any other advice or a message for your fellow spicefolk?

Thanks for all the help. Please carry on, you are awesome.

Creamy or crunchy peanut butter?

Crunchy.

What color is your toothbrush?

Blue.

What is your favorite color?

Blue.

What are your favorite hobbies?

Playing guitar/bass, model railways, and wargaming (miniature figures, not running through the woods being silly)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to a “Relatively Close” gig. Guess what my band is called? My Brother-in-law, Nephew, and Son are also members, hence the name.

What is your favorite movie or book?

The Mote in God’s Eye, a book by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle.

What is your favorite fictional universe?

Star Trek TNG. I would love to helm the Enterprise D

Who asks you for IT assistance the most outside of work?

My Wife. She does the passive-aggressive sigh rather than ask for help directly, and keeps doing it until I break down and ask her if she needs help.

If you were a superhero (or supervillain) what would your super power be?

I already have the common IT superpower of making things work when I walk in.

Bonus torture round (questions added by former subjects)

Do you listen to music while you work or do you prefer silence? If you do, then what Genre keeps you going?

When I am on my own, I listen to Rock, Metal, Operatic metal, and classical music.

What was your first computer equipment?

A Sperry 286 PC borrowed from work.

What kind of personal computer equipment do you use now?

Toshiba and Lenovo laptops.

What is your favorite food or meal?

Barbequed spare rib pork chops.

What spicy User Groups do you participate in?

[redacted]

If you had to choose a non-IT career path, what would it be?

No idea. I don’t think I could earn enough as a musician. I would make a good General, but a lousy Captain, so I would never get to General in the Army.

What is your beverage of choice in the morning?

Tea

What is a guilty pleasure that no one would suspect about you?

Chocolate. No one would guess that looking at my slim, racing snake figure. OK, who coughed?

How do you usually dress for work?

Shirt and Trousers. Unless it is the summer I wear a tie as well. I like to dress as an example for the students.

How do you wind down after a hard day's work?

Plug in, turn up and blast the cares of the day away with a guitar.

[Note: several questions followed this, but due to an unfortunate mishap, this is all that we could recover from the transcriptionist's remains, and the actual original recording has been confiscated. We have since resolved the misunderstanding with the government by promising to redact even more freely. We have also provided a means for back up recordings and procured another transcriptionist, so never fear. Even though you may never know ICH's favorite video game character, we will continue to fight to bring such essential information to this community in the future.]

__________And there you have it. The slightly complete transcript of the interrogation. Feel free to ask additional questions in the comments below.

Tune in next time as we delve into the psyche of another subject.... or, if you think you can stand the heat, you can volunteer for your own interrogation. Write to news@spiceworks.com with the subject line "IT Interrogation" (or alternatively "Willing Victim").

Speaking as a former school Network Manager, I absolutely feel your pain when it comes to funding issues. It's an utterly impossible balancing act, much respect for keeping things afloat. Great interview, although I'm surprised to see that even the intrepid torturer *ahem* interrogator Suzanne (Spiceworks)​ can't get round the Official Secrets Act!

Speaking as a former school Network Manager, I absolutely feel your pain when it comes to funding issues. It's an utterly impossible balancing act, much respect for keeping things afloat. Great interview, although I'm surprised to see that even the intrepid torturer *ahem* interrogator Suzanne (Spiceworks)​ can't get round the Official Secrets Act!

Well, you know. The transcriptionist apparently had a conscience (which is rare for this model of clone), and in a misguided (and unfortunately fatal) attempt to put a stop to this very popular series, she got a different branch of government involved than the one we have a mutual understanding with, and even occasional assistance from. As I said, it is all cleared up now, but these things happen. Not everyone is going to understand art, or the purely voluntary nature of these proceedings.

Whilst I have done a few formal courses along the way, it has mainly been by learning from experienced colleagues, and trial and error.

I have found this to be the best way to learn the field. I did get my degree, but I no way did it prepare me for the real world. Having friends and mentors in the IT field is what really helped me. Oh, and trial and error.

Lies...! The reason for the redactions was not the government but evil capitalists! ICH was tortured and the 'juicy' stuff is going to be marketed as DLC! It's gonna be pay-per-view! Don't support this evil enterprise!!

ICH...great interview bro. What they did to you is more than anyone should be made to bear but you withstood. It's always a pleasure to hear from fellow IT pros. Join us (and by "us" I mean me...because the others are scared to go up against the mighty Spiceworks...) in the freedom fight. let's turn the interrogation chair into the interview couch!

Not a bad interview. The [redacted} shouldn't be classified after all the [redacted] and [redacted] as well as the "commoners" know government intelligence is an oxymoron, so it shouldn't be a secret that ... why are you bring guys in black suits with no facial expressions to my desk? I'm not .... sxnbr bwsedrx