A Lunatic on the Loose In New Zealand

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[INSERT GENERIC APOLOGY FOR THE TARDINESS OF THIS PUBLICATION, COUPLED WITH A DECENT EXCUSE FOR SAID TARDINESS] So, I was on my way back to Wellington. The Doc said he could give me a lift as far as Gisbourne as he was leaving Ruatoria himself; this weed growing fiend was heading over to the mines…

I was picked up by the good doctor and we sped off, up Highway 35. It was the first time that I had ever been on this particular highway and was blown away by just how isolated it was. I started having fantasies about retreating to one of the uninhabited houses in this ghostly backwater…

[With a headline like that, I’m sure half of you got a hard/wide-on and the other half of you thought “Sports? Sports are just a tool of the powerful, created to keep the masses distracted when we should be posting Instagram pics of our meals”. Rest assured, dear reader, there’s something for everyone in the ramblings…

***Welcome back, dear reader. I just want to say a special thanks for making it this far. I’m proud of you. You’re at the business end of this saga. Stick with it. You’re doing great. Now, without further ado, some emails and shit*** From: Regan Roberts [mailto:regoroberts@hotmail.com] Sent: Thursday, 10 September 2015 11:43 a.m. To:…

The following chain of emails tell a story of skullduggery by New Zealand’s only betting company, the TAB. Having a total monopoly in the NZ betting market, they can do pretty much as they please. Before we dive face-first into the murky swamp that is the TAB’s business practices, first let me give you a…

As a new day dawned and the temperature in my tent began to soar, I changed into my togs and went for a dip in the Mighty Waikato. The soothing feeling of cool freshwater engulfing me on a hot summers morning is one of my favourite things. It was so nice to dive into the river and float…

After such madness on the highway, I was looking forward to a bit of relaxation at Conor’s place. He was still up when I got there so we caught up over a few beers and whiskies before he toddled off to bed. In the morning Conor went through a fairly sparse list of chores, which mainly involved feeding the cats (Harry and…

Oh, I do love a punt on sports games; the promise of an instant cash win adds another level of excitement to any match. Hell, I’d watch an under 10’s badminton match if I thought I could eek some dosh out of it. But I find that cricket matches are the best to live-bet on; the natural ebb and…

My next assignment was back up in Auckland; my elder brother, Conor, and his fiancé, Kate, were heading down to Kuratau for a much needed break over new year’s and I had been drafted in to cat/house-sit for a week. The price for putting two cats into a cattery in Auckland is about $30 a day, so by…

Despite our awkward greeting, it was great to see the Germans girls again. Isabella, Inga, Laura, and Lily seemed genuinely pleased to see me too; they’d had a fun but crazy time out east, working and staying with a friendly, mad, alcoholic couple and their newborn baby. But after two weeks they were keen for a bit…

Marty dropped me at the turnoff to highway 23, which would take me to Hamilton and beyond. We hugged it out and said goodbye. Having never hitched before, he dropped me at a fairly dodgy location; just past a sharp corner where oncoming cars wouldn’t see me until they had nearly past. After the fifth car raced by I…

Without a clue what to do, I headed to a campground for the night. I still had cans of food from the start of my journey, plus some cake and other assorted foodstuffs that Steve and Ange had insisted on giving me, so I wasn’t going to starve. Once my tent was up I grew restless so decided to make my…