4:30 a.m. — On Church Street there’s an object that is flashing eerie green — could it be from outer space where man has never been? Brave officers approach the thing with caution (they ain’t rash), and crying alien shmailien they dump it in the trash

9:38 a.m. — A Hannaford employee thinks they have counterfeit bills.

10:30 a.m. — At the station one woman reports being harassed by another via text, Facebook and house drive-bys. Police deem the ladies are equally trying to provoke each other over a gentleman they dated. They are advised to block each other electronically.

11:30 a.m. — A credit card stolen last night has already been used at Walmart.

12:31 p.m. — A canoe has been stolen from Granite Street.

2:01 p.m. — Okeefe’s store catches a shoplifter.

2:14 p.m. — A phone is found in the Care Pharmacy parking lot.

2:46 p.m. — Bootleggers reports a theft of shoes.

6:37 p.m. — On Bernard Road teens reportedly scream, yell and issue a death threat. Just a small verbal argument, says an adult.

8:29 p.m. — A beer theft at Cumby’s on Knight Street is caught on video.

5:40 a.m. — At the station, someone is charged with two counts of criminal threatening.

6:00 a.m. — Items have been stolen from a vehicle on Ledgeview Drive.

7:14 a.m. — A mail deliverer is threatened by a young man in a vacant apartment on South Main Street.

7:19 a.m. — A car has been keyed at the Community Center.

10:05 a.m. — A fellow with a backpack is climbing out a bin in the Ben Franklin parking lot, why had he been within? Checking out donations that he might steal and sell, or waking from a night’s sleep in a free tin can hotel?