Arizona SB1070 has gotten a bit of attention recently. Groups are mobilizing marches and boycotts. Politicians are trying to navigate the political minefield. Civil rights groups have developed collective hard-ons that have lasted longer than four hours (Get yourselves to the ER before you do some permanent damage says the Viagra commercial). All Arizona residents of burnt sienna hue or beyond on the scary brown spectrum are sleeping with one eye open (probably to keep their eyes on their drugs, guns, and other dastardly accoutrement). Families are beating the brown off their kids and punching them in the mouth so that any perceived accent is inaudible due to fat lips. Even over-tanned Caucasian women are running scared, expressionless, but scared nonetheless. But in all this, no one has gotten to the practical things that one can do to avoid having problems with SB1070. So, as usual, El Guapo was forced to stop styling his copious chest hair (FYI corn rolls this week) and take immediate action before things got out of control.

El Guapo learned the following after interviewing the state of Arizona: