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Monday, August 23, 2010

Think back to the good old days when the American Dream was well alive. It seemed back then that everything was free. Free women, free love, and free syphilis (now they have those damned "drugs" to take that away). The use of soft drugs was rampant and socially radical and psychadelic dude (but then they took away those "drugs" giving everyone syphilis again). But the most important gratis part of the American Dream were free homes. It seems that nowadays, houses now cost money. Back then, all we had to do with sign a couple of papers with no money in the bank and a house would magically be ours under a mortgage. Now, banks are asking us to "pay" for houses. Who has money saved when we are buying life necessary items like iPads, Snuggies, and bladeless fans? Mortgage giants Frannie Mae and Freddie Mac brewed a homeownership fetish by willing to offer their luxurious assets (houses) for no money upfront and only giving up your life and job in 30 years. I mean, just look at Freddie Macs' slogan.

And then we take it away with your dignity and soul as collateral.

Moreover, we used to make money from hard work in coal mines and suffering from emphysema and black lung. Now, we make money from nothing. Take mortgages for example, the mortgages no one pays. Geniuses on the Street of Wall took these worthless mortgages, bundled them together calling them mortgaged backed securities. They then bundled mortgaged backed securities together to call them Collateralized Debt Obligations. These twice wrapped turd burritos were then sold to the hungry, hungry hippo fat cats of the world for trillions upon trillions of dollars (a number only matched by the US national debt). And those geniuses made trillion upon trillions of dollars. In fact those geniuses still are living great lives with the public welcoming them into their gracious bosoms. Examples include the executives at AIG, Citigroup, and the king of the hill, everyone at Lehman Brothers. All hail the king.