July 9, 2011

First of all, thanks to everyone who shared their thoughts and insights and wonderings and more words regarding my last post. It's nice to be able to have an honest discussion. If you haven't looked at the comments down below, I strongly recommend it!

A project I've taken on this summer has been redoing my room. I realized as I've been painting and decorating that it's basically like I spent the school year making all those tiny sections of my room into moodboards and now I'm just finding a way to combine them all and make a space that feels like ~me. Yeah, I'm pretty deep I guess.

This is the first of two room inspiration posts lined up, and I have learned in compiling these images that I and my blog are very predictable! All photos are enlargeable and I encourage observing all the details. We'll start with the obvious: the Virgin Suicides.

Quickly, a disclaimer: because I've written about TVS so many times now while being a feminist, I think it's worth acknowledging the criticism of it as a male sexual fantasy creating unrealistic ideals of women. I've heard this a lot, I've considered it, but I really disagree. The fantasies are there for sure, but I've never read the narrator as reliable. It's clear, especially in the hazy visuals of the movie, that the neighborhood boys' ideas of the Lisbons are highly romanticized, but the boys are portrayed as a bit too dumb and bewitched by their own boners for those ideas to demand respect from the audience. The book and movie aren't about getting down to who the Lisbons truly were and the real reason for their suicides, or the boys' tragedy that they never got to take that road trip with them. The Virgin Suicides is, as a book, movie, story, and aesthetic, about adolescent sexual fantasies, what good examples they can be of how, as a teenager, one might tend to approach adult life still with a childlike perspective, and how that leads to a feeling of loss and broken dreams. It's a love letter written in retrospect with a pitiful and bittersweet smile, it's signing a yearbook next to your school photo from September when you looked infinitely different. Will I be an asshole if I link to Roger Ebert's review of it? Yes? Then google it. That fourth paragraph especially.

Now so I can continue on liking what I like:

I've gone on about my obsession with teenage bedrooms, and about my collecting of stuff that the Lisbon sisters would have in their rooms out of some weird and probably unhealthy idol worship of my idea of them/my own Youngest Child Syndrome that led me to think being a teenager would be, like, the coolest thing ever. But with parents as strict as theirs, their rooms really were their worlds, and I love the details of how they created them.

Then we have Picnic at Hanging Rock, which I kind of divide in my mind into two aesthetics: the scenes at their school and the beginning of the picnic, showing all those tiny details of the worlds they like the Lisbons have to create for themselves in such a strict and boring boarding school...

...And then the rest of the picnic, when the four girls go up to the cliff and it's all bare and hazy and desert-like and weirdly spiritual.

Mia Farrow painting her dressing room from some behind the scenes video of Rosemary's Baby, for the painted flowers...

We read Great Expectations in English this year and Miss Havisham was about the only part I found remotely interesting, except when she too got all soap opera-y and her Great Plan was revealed and it was like ugh. Then her dress caught on fire and I got interested again! I am not a very good critical school reader. I believe one of my few Odyssey annotations was, "all of your names sound the same."

I loved the idea of Havisham trying to live in some less painful time by setting all her clocks back, that she never took off her wedding dress, and was surrounded by wealth that was just covered in dust and her regrets and her own unmet great expectations ha ha. There is absolutely nothing online about the BBC movie we watched in class but they made her house really beautiful and filled with nostalgia, and Charlotte Rampling is just so HBIC throughout the whole thing.

These photos of a place called Salvation Mountain by Grace Denis, for the weird personal painted details and the skies. Where is this place? I want to take a road trip. (ETA: Thank you commenters for your help. I have a new life goal.)

Early Hole album art and fliers, for the usual vomit pink qualities, ideas on femininity, blah blah I am in such a phase right now etc.

Frida Kahlo, both photos of her as well as her paintings, because she was so beautiful and adorned in color and small details and because the paintings below especially align with my obsession with the desert and skulls and the sun and all that.

Maude's place in Harold and Maude, for all the great junk, and when it's decorated with sunflowers by Harold.

This photo from a 1938 issue of National Geographic captioned, "Anne and her family lived alone on an island. She enjoyed having tea time with her friends the spiny lobster and baby hawk." Again, creating a world...

Grey Gardens, and the idea of these women who were born into high society and insisted on their house falling apart in the middle of nowhere instead, and the secret love for her mother and desire to help her under all of Little Edie's bitterness about staying in Grey Gardens.

Drew Barrymore's teenage bedroom. The heart pillow and celebrity photos and stuffed animals, and the idea of this being like, her own space to try to be a teenager while she was also being a movie star. (Do I read too much into everything? Drew, I like your stuffed animals. The end.)

Rodarte Fall 2010, which I loved for all the reasons I wrote about here. Might be my favorite Rodarte collection? Definitely my favorite show I've ever been lucky to see in person. Somehow I'd like how nostalgic it made me, despite never having seen it before, to translate into my room. And those last photos against the candle wax are by Autumn de Wilde.

Daisies, for the DAISIES and colors and butterflies and junk and scrawled walls and all that. I just wanna lie around with my best friend while wearing flower crowns and eating fruit and conclude that life is meaningless. KOOL

Frenchie's bedroom in Grease, for all the pink and photos of hunks and Rydell pennant and perfumes.

Yoshitomo Nara's installations of clubhouses for angry little girls. I would ESPECIALLY recommend enlarging and zooming in for these photos.

Andie Walsh's room, for all the PINK and junk. And this painting by David MacDowell which plays on Norman Rockwell's Girl At Mirror. ~Sigh ~gurls ~boiz

Alexander McQueen's presentation for Spring 2001 with Michelle Olley. The space was a mirrored cube so that everyone in the audience had to get uncomfortable staring at themselves for over an hour before the lights inside the cube went up and the walls around this box in the middle came down and Michelle Olley was sitting there, a fat woman in a fashion show, moths and butterflies and tubes clinging to her. The models couldn't see out of the cube and walked around disoriented while Olley was just lying there. I think it's my favorite McQueen show. At the exhibit at the Met right now they show the video in a box complete with a mirror, it's completely mesmerizing. As far as my room goes, I like all this vacuumed nature.

Tracey Emin, for sitting in the middle of a desert in "Outside Myself (Monument Valley)" and for the vulnerability of her quilts and beds.

One more inspiration post coming up. Now if my room is ugly I will be a huge disappointment.

These were really important movies to me when I was your ageish (which was in 1996/97). I watched them nonstop. I thought you might enjoy or find inspiration from them (if you haven't seen them already)-

It's exciting to re-decorate a room, no? Somehow, I can never throw away the stuff that I've lived with for ages. I am in the process of making mine my very own personal library with Frida Kahlo and Freddy Mercury pillowcases, and a disco ball. I hope you have oodles of fun mashing your likes and inspirations into a comfy bedroon sanctuary.

This post basically fulfills all my aesthetic desires. O_O So much eye candy, so many things I love. I really enjoy decorating rooms; soon I'll be able to decorate my dorm, then my new room at home. I can't wait to see photos of your newly decorated room!

I've been wanting to redo my room for a looong while now. I did it the summer before third grade, you see... So now that I'm getting into high school, it's not really 'me'. At all. Sadly, my 'vision' is highly improbable to be executed, so I guess I'll have to scale down, which is a shame. Ah, well. I love your inspiration photos, and I think your room will turn out amazingly!

Such lovely photos. I remember my teenage room was also filled with tons of junk and plants (I used to tape plants on the ceiling) and stones, books and toys all over the place. Now when Im older, I have my own apartment, which is covered with things. Vases, photos of mayan statues next to christian church windows and african masks and flowers and clothes everywhere. I can do and redo it all I want, and it is slowly growing to become me. Good luck with your room make over. :)

I just found out about your blog/you today. I appreciate your introspection and humbleness. I also had/have an interest in bedrooms/decoration and creation of your own space. There's a couple livejournals i follow(ed) of bedrooms, i'll link it to you if you like. I really like the collage of inspiration you put together here. I share your love for Harold and Maude and strange obsession over The Virgin Suicides and the like.Also, Enid's room vs. Seymour's room in Ghost World is worth checking out if you haven't already.what city/country do you live in?

cool post! I wish I had the determination to redo my room but I lack the killer instinct and run away screaming when people get pushy/shove-ey at IKEA and then when I go to other stores whomever I'm with gets all "ugh, this is boring. why did I agree to go look at paint with you? the only way this could be more boring would be if we were actually watching it dry." and then I don't hear from them for a month.I love the references especially, 'do'ing your room is a really deep thing for some people, and often people's rooms reflect themselves (Freud? nesting? there's probably something there.) However if one was to consider my personality based on how I feather my nest, they'd probably think I was a dull philistine - which would be wrong.

Good luck redoing your room. Hope it's going to be great. I really like the Meadham Kirchhoff collection, cause everything is so creative and unexpecting, unlike most of the other designs these days. Alexander McQueen Spring 2001 is also one of my favourites, too. He made all the people stare at their reflections for an hour before the show finally start. I like how he always like to make a statement or point using his shows, to create moods, feelings, and inspiring you.

i love your posts on the virgin suicides-- a film i only watched recently. have you ever seen "falling angels"? i would love to read your take on it-- it's about 3 sisters coming of age. the focus is very different than TVS but there are shrines and motifs and dark humor for all!

looks like it'll be an awesome room. i'm hoping that as soon as i move into the house i'm going to be sharing with my partner and my best friend (in under a month! finally) we'll be able to live out our collective teen fantasies of completely controlling a space and the way we decorate it.

thanks for sharing the inspiration. here's some of mine/ours: http://frauchic.tumblr.com/

Have you read Middlesex? Because I began reading Eugenides with TVS but Middlesex has that Coppola-less essence which makes it a bit easier to relate to perhaps. TVS, which is so a beautiful phase where you realise boys don't understand you even slightly, and you understand as much about yourself. It's a mad beautiful phase. It's gorgeous, something to stand by. Also, you seem to love gender theory and Middlesex is everything you could ever love about gender theory. Even if it doesn't mean v much at all But Middlesex is beyond TVS. Similarly, at least at that mid/late teens mindset for me, is She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb. Try it out. Maybe you'll detest it but at least it's an easy read.

The mirrored case at the Met was my favorite! Everyone was like, woaaah. Including me. I felt really dumb standing there all gawking and such, but who can help it? I'm sure your room is going to be awesome! My bedroom is a converted maid's room, so there's basically no space for anything (that's New York for you!!!). The suckage is major.

Tavi, there is also an image composed by Joel Peter Witkin, a rather famous photographer with a rather morbid point of view and was especially popular during the 90s in which Michelle Olley appeared in his photgraphs in a very similar fashion as the Alexander McQueen show. Hope that interests you.

I've got so much going on in my head regarding all of this that there's a real danger that I'm about to go on with something that doesn't make much sense at all... But I'll try!

I know you've been a fan of TVS for quite a long time, but I've never really been that into it. But I think that your admiration of it, "coupled with" [yay for me!!! :-)))] your kind posting of various images and thoughts, has really started turning me towards this movie. Not that that was ever your job, or that you'd be too concerned about my feelings on the subject anyway. But you know, I think it's more my appreciation for what you do. Many a time it's felt like you've stuck your hand in my head and turned my brain around (sorry if that image is a bit too 'graphic'?).

I mean, I was reading that letter that you had on your tumblr by Paul Clemens re. TVS last night. His references to Holden Caulfield and CITR, and especially his reference to the line in the book about 'the half-eaten sandwhich' really created an emotional response in me that for some reason I had never been fully able to bring to the story before.

And now with this post another link has been created. This notion of 'creating a world'. You've certainly brought it up before (I'm thinking of a post that involved 'Twin Peaks' and your sister), and I kind of had 'some' understanding of it, but for me this post has really clarified it.

I mean you provide so many great examples of it, and then really hit the nail on the head for me with your comment on Drew Barrymore, and the creation of "...her own space to try to be a teenager while she was also being a movie star." No, I don't think you read too much into everything, I think that's absolutely correct. And for me a real switching on of the light bulb.

There are a lot more ideas here that I'd like to think about and comment on, but I think I'll leave it at that for now. As David Bailey's daughter says at the end of a documentary on her dad that I once saw, and that I've recently been repeating over and over in my head because it sounds nice, "That is all I have to say, bye-bye for to-day!" :-))

I changed my room three times throughout my adolescence. I wish I had spent time and energy charting out the specifics. Each time, I generally had an idea but it would evolve halfway through, and then I would be unhappy with the hodge-podge.

I love reading your posts because they have so much inspiration & thought behind it.I love your interpretation of TVS.The rooms all have a distinct identity.Especially like the angry girl's room & Drew Barrymore's room.Exceptional post

Cat Melodeon - I bought Middlesex really cheap somewhere last summer but it's so hefty I haven't gotten around to it yet. I'm looking forward to it. The cover is very pretty? Haha. I'll look at the other book you recommended too.

Ioana - Argh, I've been meaning to watch Paris, Texas for so long! That still of the girl in the fuzzy red sweater kills me. I've never heard of El Topo but will add that to my list.

Although I love all of the other "vibes" you described here the one I agree with and like the most is the McQueen ss01//the vacuumed nature/nature in the middle of a modern, cold environment thisng is just so rad to me....Its appealing to my inner tree-hugger as well as my inner cold city dweller....plus its Alexander McQueen....so....

This children's entertainer Rod Hull (whose act involved an out of control emu puppet) bought the house up as a ruin in the 80s, but went bankrupt restoring it, and had to move out to this shack out in the marshes and then he fell off the roof and died when he was trying to fix a new tv aerial up.

Yet another person redecorating their room - I've been searching for ideas lately and completely scrapped the modern look which I was previously obsessed with; it was too cold for me and besides in a room as small as mine it would have been a pathetic attempt.

However, I like the styles which you have picked out but they still seem slightly too cluttered for me. I suppose I'm a bit of a hypocrite though because any style I like will automatically become ruined with endless piles of clutter and organised mess. I've picked out a french style for my room, with white painted wood distressed furniture, and cream and pink damaske wallpaper.

You write such an amazing blog and being a bit of a feminist myself I love your thoughts and opinions on things because half the time I have the same thoughts, although in slightly less clever vocabulary and description!

you seriously deserve an award for best research ever. after reading your blog, i'm always in a totally different mood than before, your writing really touches me! and again, the research work you do and your knowledge about fashion/experience are absolutely amazing, thank you so much for sharing!!!

Last year I watched the Virgin Suicides with a friend of mine on a hot hot day and we plan on watching Picnic at Hanging Rock this year. We try for dreamy, hazy movies and make the whole day like that. So I like that you mentioned both those movies.

Also, I had never heard of Tracy Emin but those quilts are incredible. Kind of blown away right now.

I went through a stage of really wanting to re-do my whole room - instead I started a post-card collection and now my whole wall is completely covered with postcards. I love looking at all the different images and how they all make one multi-coloured image.

About The Virgin Suicides: I completely agree with your reading of the novel. It seems pretty explicit at times. I mean, it's been a while since I read it, but I seem to recall that the narrator is pretty explicitly critical of the way he and his friends fetishized the sisters, the way they viewed them so two-dimensionally. I think Middlesex is a pretty logical next step for Eugenides. First a book about teenage boys' failure to understand teenage girls (or even to understand the basic fact that girls are human beings too and have real inner lives like them), then a book about a boy trapped in a girl's body. I think Middlesex is really all about using intersexed-ness as a metaphor for Eugenides's questions about understanding people of other genders. I like the book, but I can see why some people in the intersex and trans communities find it exploitative, because in a very real way Eugenides is intentionally exploiting the idea of being intersex in order to make points that aren't about real intersex people's lives at all.

I disagree when it comes to Coppola's film, though. I think she completely missed the point of the novel or she couldn't have made such a superficial movie. To me, the film feels like the movie adaptation those teenage boys would have made, full of fetishization, smooshing real girls into cute little 2-D paper cutouts, not something the grown-up narrator could have endorsed, much less the girls themselves. It feels very similar to The Royal Tenenbaums to me in its treatment of suicide. As someone who has been suicidal and has nearly lost a friend to suicide multiple times, I feel both films really trivialize the issue and turn it into cutesy music video fodder. But then, both filmmakers (Coppola and Anderson) always read to me as products of their sheltered, privileged upbringings who try to portray difficult things like suicide in their films because they seem dramatic and important but don't really have any perspective on such matters.

That being said, when you put stills from The Virgin Suicides into your own context on your blog I find myself liking the movie more from that angle. I think I'd probably enjoy a Tavi-adapted version of the novel more.

I didn't read the book but I disagree about copola and anderson filming suicide in a ''light'' way. I've been really touched by the suicide scene in royal tennebaum. For me The scene is really poetic and I agree, aesthetic but it doesn't make the action meaningless.

I'm moving soon, I hope that I'll have as much inspirations for my new place as you do Tavi!

Tavi, you are awesome. I'm 24 years old but I still look up to you in some way because you inspire me to no end. I to love examining the twilight between taste and tack, adulthood and childhood. I totally agree on your analysis of TVS: the fact that the movie is in a way really superficial just proves that the message it's trying to get across is that of the mystery of those girls, how the guys' look on the girls was at once one of objectification and idolatry and how they were almost like ephemeral visions fleeting in and out of existence within the span of a teenage life. The girls are never explained, but the movie makes it obvious that they have their very own lives and inner turmoils that are just not comprehended by the outside world. And the fact that they aren't understood by that outside world is BECAUSE of all of the objectification going on by other people. Teenage girls are always seen in certain ways by others in the media instead of really trying to get to the bottom of their psychology in an honest way, TVS exposes that if you ask me.

My comment is really long but I just wanted to tell you that you inspire me. Your blog is awesome because it really captures the whole beauty of coming of age, and you show us how you form your style and inspirations from an eclectic plethora of sources. Your blog is DEEP, man. And shallow at the same time. Like a real person. LUV YA

I love grey gardens. Comparing their acting in the movie & the actual documentary is really intellectually stimulating. I wish I could be in your room right now, it sounds so amazing, as I am an avid collecter of nostalgia as well. Hope all goes well with it then.

You have to google the house on the rock: it is like your personal spaces but publically personal, if that makes any sense. It would really inspire your room project and it is just amazing Americana. I love your blog, I wish you were my student!!

I became really interested in Slab City and Salvation Mountain after reading "Into the Wild" about the journey of Chris McCandless aka Alexander Supertramp. I work at a center for homeless individuals and to further empathize with their struggles, one of my life goals is to live in Slab City for one month during the winter to experience nomadic life in all its glory/suffering! Thanks for the incredibly inspirational post and beautiful photos of Salvation Mountain.

dear tavi. actually i never comment cause i think it is to much to read for you. so many people who write you. but maybe you see these lines and read that i really adore your blog. i am a few years older than you (i am 23) but for me you are kind of my "blog mother" :) well i dont know, there is so much love and passion in what you do, by the way i feel that you are a so nice person. and what you write is very interesting and inspirering. sometimes you open new doors to new worlds for me. so me i am from germany and our culture in germany in europe is quite different than the american/usa ones.i really love to see you growing up and learning what u want to learn. i would love to meet you one time or just see how u act/behave.sorry, my english is not that good. :)so, i love your words, your photos, your passion! keep going on, if u have time or interest have a short look on my blog, i am an art photographer. it is all analog and maybe you get some inspiration, too.i also wanted to send u a analog camera to make some pictures of yourlife and send me back that i develope. its kind of a project i do with friends all over the world. if u want to just send me a mail or comment on my blog, then i can tell u more bout. but tavi, i know how many people write u massages, no stress, just want u to know that u give me a lot.thanks for all!!

wow, that is a ton of inspiring material to work with; now, just time to be discerning and make some choices to actually execute the room. pretty in pink, romeo+juliet, drew barrymore, ah decisions.

with respect to the virgin suicides, i must disagree with some points. though unreliable and indeed male, the narrators are not inherently misogynist, perhaps just a bid awestruck and uninformed and naive. i felt the times when we leave the young boy's perspective, during the middle of the film, were quite disappointing.

I'm also from Germany and I would be really happy if there would be many more intelligent teenagers out there just like you! I don't know anybody who's 15 and has an idea of how amazing Frida Kahlo was. The way how you look for impressions is very inspiring, never give up going your own way. Gosh the German youth is so sad and boring, they should all take you as an example!

in the movie foxfire (about a girl gang--based on a book of the same name) the girls hang out in an abandoned house and decorate it with candles and some personal things from each girl. sounds like something you might be interested in.

I would love to see how you put all this together. Everytime you post about that Romeo + Juliet movie, I make a mental note to rewatch it asap and always forget. The imagery in that film is so beautiful. And I positively worship Frida Kahlo. I actually have a post lined up dedicated to her and how amazing she was.

I love the ides you have for your room! I hope to redecorate my room this summer too, but my inspirations are putti angels, paris, marie antoinette and vintage fashion! This will be exciting for us both.

dear tavi-how i .love your blog! it is such a great insight to a so much younger woman. your interests and tastes and opinions just fascinate me. i love many of the things you do. you have a wonderful view of life and i am so inspired every time i read it and see it! I'm 58, but i do not look or act it or have tastes like it. i am a fashion designer, of course not a big one. thank you for your look into your world! i love it.deb

Hi Tavi, great post. Salvation Mountain is here in Southern California, east of the Salton Sea very near the city of Nyland. You would love it. I was just there a week or so ago. The old guy, Leonard, who has spent 30 years making it, is getting on in years, and one wonders what will become of the mountain when he passes on. But you should definitely go see it!

I feel like a room should be you and what you are eeling at the time. I personally like the messy style of everything you own in aa small space. Thats y i am collageing my ceiling. Its my and its a mark on my room. I love room decortating so this post was great thanks for the ideas.

I look forward to seeing your room!In the third image, do you know what the large white ferris-wheel type object is by the window? Looks interesting...I have something that looks just like it, but very small - it's a photo frame for 4 images that rotate. This looks more like...actually, I have no idea what it could be. Hints? xx

I love what you say about Great Expectations. We read it when I was fourth form and everytime I'd try to read it I would fall asleep (I didn't really get into Dickens until I was a bit older). I'm glad you didn't have to watch the Gywneth Paltrow adaptation! Your blog is one of my favourite things on the internet.

My childhood was an almost carbon copy of the Lisbon sisters in the Virgin Suicides. Me and my brother led a very sheltered life living with over protective parents and they did not like us to go out with friends very much. The only difference is that I survived and my brother attempted to kill himself the first time by slitting his wrists in the bath tub. I still remember all the blood that I had to clean up.

One year later my brother tried to strangle me and when he failed, he killed my cat instead by strangling him in front of me. I refused to speak to him ever since that happened.2 years later, my brother eventually succeeded in killing himself by drowning in the lake. I know some people may think I'm horrible for thinking this, but I was relieved when he was gone. I was a able to recover and move on with my life.

I can't help but feel that alot of my parent's restrictions and the way we had to supress ourselves, played a part in the way my brother turned out.

This is Samantha from Tastes Like Static. I just wanted to say how much I love this post, & also to thank you for featuring some of my screen caps on your blog. Very cool. I gained a few followers just from your post, so thanks.

Hi Tavi, You are a very big inspiration to me I'm going to admit I'm quite young to be blogging and this is my first time posting a comment on your blog so I might sound a bit cheesy but I love how you organised it looks very vintageand really bright colours I really liked the crown wall!.

Hi, I'm not sure how much you care but I figured I would make this comment anyways since you're so interested in The Virgin Suicides and iconography.

A crucifix is a cross with the image of Jesus hanging, it is very distinct from just a cross. The bra is not hanging on a crucifix. The second cross you described is in fact a crucifix (I can see his arm hanging), but the item is more accurately described as a rosary, the important part being the beads. This is just an fyi, not a criticism. Beautiful post!

Hello,I can say that i really love your blog. You are amazing. I checked your all archives. You are so creative, even when you child. That is important things and i can see you will be successfull in future. I see me when i look your blog and u. Meeting people who like us is enjoyable. Whatever.. You're good and go on friend...

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