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Author
Topic: 6 Degrees of Separation (Read 3391 times)

After talking with some friends tonight, I realized how connected sexually the gay community is and how the virus can spread like wildfire. I asked my straight women friends who don't share (or at least know they do) this connection. I suppose it is due to having more straight partners to choose from.

We were talking about certain guys we've dated over the years. Someone's name would come up and almost eveyone either had a direct connection to that person or knew someone who did. Louisville isn't the biggest city (think we're considered the 16th largest), so you could possibly see how this is possible. However, I've had friends from Atlanta, L.A., and Miami say the same thing. They had sex with someone, who had sex with someone else they know, who had sex with someone else they know and so on. They would say, "Oh, I had sex with him, too, and he also had sex with my ex."

I just thought this was interesting how connected sexually a town or city is. Even though I was born here, I grew up in a small town in Indiana. I remember everyone was connected sexuallly to every other gay guy in town, but in that small town many straight people were connected as well. I realize I'm not breaking news here...just thought it was interesting. I guess it goes back to those health classes in highschool where we were told we are having sex with everyone our partner has had sex with. It really makes ya realize how the virus spread from the so-called "patient zero" to everyone else. I know there is debate whether there really was one "patient zero."

Until 12 months ago, I lived with another guy, John. His boyfriend of 8 years is Michael. My ex-boyfriend of 10 years is Bruce. Bruce's ex boyfriend of 8 years is Michael. Michael, Bruce and little Steve lived together for 7 years. Michael and Bruce have lived together for about 20 years. Big Stephen lived with Michael and Bruce for a while. Big Steve went out with Robert. Robert also went out with cute Steve. I slept with cute Steve and Robert, but not big Steve, Michael or John. Michael slept with Robert. Cute Steve slept with my previous flatmate, Sam. I slept with Sam. Michael wanted to sleep with Sam, but I don't think he did. God knows who Bruce has slept with. And, wea re all still the best of friends.

Until 12 months ago, I lived with another guy, John. His boyfriend of 8 years is Michael. My ex-boyfriend of 10 years is Bruce. Bruce's ex boyfriend of 8 years is Michael. Michael, Bruce and little Steve lived together for 7 years. Michael and Bruce have lived together for about 20 years. Big Stephen lived with Michael and Bruce for a while. Big Steve went out with Robert. Robert also went out with cute Steve. I slept with cute Steve and Robert, but not big Steve, Michael or John. Michael slept with Robert. Cute Steve slept with my previous flatmate, Sam. I slept with Sam. Michael wanted to sleep with Sam, but I don't think he did. God knows who Bruce has slept with. And, wea re all still the best of friends.

And, so it goes...

Man, we could start a gay version of "Sex in the City". I only think this is more common with gay guys due to having a limited pool to choose from--straight guys would have the same connections with a limited pool, and maybe many of them do.

Man, we could start a gay version of "Sex in the City". I only think this is more common with gay guys due to having a limited pool to choose from--straight guys would have the same connections with a limited pool, and maybe many of them do.

Small gay world indeed. There are so few of us in Mississippi and my name is somewhat rare enough that all you have to do is mention my name to most gays in this state and they'll know who you are talking about and associate me with Southwest Mississippi and McComb more specifically.

To give you an idea, while barhopping this weekend I ran into 3 guys I know that are from Mississippi simply by chance in New Orleans. It's stuff like this that makes me question the 10% number that everyone throws around. I sometimes think it's much much less.

I live on an island with a population of approximately 75,000 and here it's more like two or three degrees of separation.

I was diagnosed as part of a "cluster" of eight people. I was told that over 300 people were tested in total as a result of named partners of those of us who tested positive. It's amazing that more didn't test poz.

When you live in a small, close knit community like this, it can be really difficult to get away with things like affairs - unless you conduct them entirely in the privacy of your own home. Even then, someone will catch you out.

I remember when I was first going out with my current partner seventeen years ago. We were walking down the main street in my town and he was pointing out some of his relatives - and it was damn near every third person. If you want to put a child up for adoption here, they won't allow the child to be placed on the island because of the relative factor. I guess they're afraid that brothers and sisters could end up together, unknowingly.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

A few years back I was chilling at the bar with a group of about 8 friends, some from out of town. One of my buds started chuckling and said I've slept with everyone here, another said Ive slept with most here, etc, etc... It became clear that everyone of us had slept with at least a couple of the others in the posse.

This stuck in my mind and I began to ponder the reasons, was it because there was a limited pool of gay men in the city? Surely not, it was Austin. Was it because we were part of the bar crowd and it was just easier to get drunk and pick up the person nearest us?... Maybe. Was it because my buds (and to a lesser extent, me ) were merely a bunch of whores?... Perhaps. I may be wrong but I dont remember the hetero scene being as "open".

Looking back the scary thing about the situation was that more than a couple of guys in the group never practiced safe sex.

Man, we could start a gay version of "Sex in the City". I only think this is more common with gay guys due to having a limited pool to choose from--straight guys would have the same connections with a limited pool, and maybe many of them do.

I don't think it's really from having a 'limited pool'. I suppose the fact that we are a minority in terms of the population as a whole means we are more likely to 'cross paths' with sexual partners of sexual partners, but that's secondary to behavior. The fact that society hasn't cursed us (gay men) with standards of acceptable sexual behavior allowing us sexual freedom not commonly found with straight people is the reason, in my opinion. I do know a few gay couples that are 100% exclusive... or so they say. The rest allow for some degree of freedom within the relationship - one-time tricks, 3-ways with both partners, anything goes, etc.

I know plenty of straights who have loads of sex with loads of people. I think straights are just less likely to talk about it and compare notes with others. I know I would never sit in the pub and discuss who was in the room that I slept with - especially if we were sitting at the same table. Maybe it's a woman thing more so than a straight thing, I dunno.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

now that I've moved back to the Carolinas, I thought I might end up meeting up with some of my old fuck-buddies; but no such luck. Of course, I'm not 25 hanging out in the bars anymore, so in the 6 months I've been back I haven't explored all the venues of re-acquainting yet. However, chatting though the lines of some of the friends that I still have back here, even before I moved back down, I know that many of those guys I would be looking for died back in the 90s. My cohort from Charlotte NC circa 1985 is unfortunately much like my cohorts from Cleveland OH circa 1990 and Canton OH circa 1995 - very diminished if not all gone. Well, save for me.

But never fear, I'm working on this matter. So far my cohort of fuck-buddies from Rock Hill, SC circa 2010 is up to four.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

When I was single I would often do research before going out with a guy. Of course this was pre-Google, Facebook, etc. I knew three different guys who, shall we say, had large social circles. Between the three at least one of them would have the dirt.

and that's when I lived here before I left my birthplace to live with (and screw ) the Yankees for all those years Seems we do keep crossing paths. Maybe you and I are only 4 degrees or so separated. LOL

I just meant straight people can go to the store, Starbucks, and have many more bars to find someone of the opposite sex. It is easier for them to meet. We gays have to work a little harder to find another gay person, so we have to go to the few bars in town or meet someone through a friend.

Having said that, I've had straight friends who work in factories (factories seem to be a real sex haven) who hook up with all the same people. And, like I said about the small town I grew up in, the straight people were probably just as connected sexually as the gay guys. I guess it all depends on where ya live--8 million people in NYC would make it less likely to share the same partners.

I just meant straight people can go to the store, Starbucks, and have many more bars to find someone of the opposite sex. It is easier for them to meet. We gays have to work a little harder to find another gay person, so we have to go to the few bars in town or meet someone through a friend.

Having said that, I've had straight friends who work in factories (factories seem to be a real sex haven) who hook up with all the same people. And, like I said about the small town I grew up in, the straight people were probably just as connected sexually as the gay guys. I guess it all depends on where ya live--8 million people in NYC would make it less likely to share the same partners.

I know some straight people who ain't ever had a piece of ass. I've been to the Starbucks in my town and have yet to walk in on the unlisted orgies they have, so I just settle for their crappy bitter coffee instead.

About 10 years ago I kept a collection of amazing tawdry monstrous photos of gay guys I found cruising on the net. Kind of like in Luriddigs. No sexual persuasion has a monopoly on hotties and notties.

Logged

ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx