Autism, parents and teachers: Bridging the communication gap

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I was talking to a group of teachers last week, something I do frequently, about my experience raising a child with autism. My favorite part of these talks is the Q and A. “You can ask me anything,” I say, “and I will answer to the best of my ability.”

I get a lot of juicy questions, but there is one that I am asked most frequently:

I could do a better job if I could communicate more with parents. How can I get them to talk to me?

I flash back to the year that I was that parent, and how his teacher bridged the communication gap:

Matthew was a 7th grader at the middle school around the corner, and he was going through a particularly impulsive and aggressive stage, likely fueled by the onslaught of adolescence. While I tried my best to contain him, I had other troubles at the time that distracted me. My mother was sick (really sick) and so was my husband (cancer). I picked up Matthew each day from school, averting the gaze of his new teacher, Holly.

If things weren’t going well at school, I just didn’t want to know about it.

One day Holly waved at me as she drove by my house on the way home from school. I waved back, and then panicked when I saw her car stop–and then back up.

“I just wanted to tell you something really quickly,” she said, “I know you are busy, but I want you to know that I really enjoy having Matthew as a student.”

She went on to tell me how much she admired me, and that I had done such a great job with my boys.

“I just wanted you to know that,” she said as she drove away, “let me know if I can help you with all that’s going on.”

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