A middle aged guy is attending a series of personal financial strategy seminars. He can't help but notice a strikingly beautiful young woman who is also attending. He eagerly wishes to meet her and impress her.

Finally he musters the courage to introduce himself - - - and he adds - - - "My father is worth $20 million dollars - - - and he won't be living much longer." She is impressed.

Three days later his father telephones him and says, "Come over to my house. I want you to meet your new step mother."

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey.But the stranger... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home - not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our long time visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.

My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol but the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely!) about gender. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing..

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked ... And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars."

Dick and Sharon agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word...

When they landed, the pilot turned to Dick and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"

Dick replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Sharon fell out, But you know, Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, 'For our closing song, Let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut heasked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money fromyou. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleasedand left the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay hisbill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'mdoing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves theshop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thankyou' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and whenhe tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot acceptmoney from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professoris very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thankyou' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve YourBusiness' and 'Becoming More Successful.

'Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to payhis bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'mdoing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy andleaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozenCongressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.