Speeding driver blames absence of goats

Swiss man enjoys Canada's goat-free highways

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A Swiss driver caught with the pedal to the metal on a Canadian highway offered police the most creative excuse for speeding since aliens took the rap for a UK excess velocity outrage.

According to the BBC, the perp was pulled doing 100mph in a 60mph zone in Ontario, but explained that his need for speed was provoked by a simple lack of goats which in his native land regularly wander the roads acting as caprine velocity moderators. A police officer's notes record that he was "taking advantage of the ability to go faster without risking hitting a goat".

Which is perfectly reasonable, given that police spokesman Joel Doiron said "he had never found a goat on the highways of eastern Ontario in his 20 years of service".

Dorian confirmed the novelty of the explanation thus: "Nobody's ever used the lack of goats here as an excuse for speeding." In mitigation, he added: "I've never been to Switzerland, but I guess there must be a lot of goats there." ®