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On the 27th March, 2017 the Criminal Law(Sexual Offences) Act was enacted, three weeks after an event which was held at City Hall to mark the passing of the SO Act. It was a remarkable day, one I will remember forever. Below is the speech I had waited a long time to make. With today being the first anniversary of the Act, I am posting the speech to celebrate our achievement but also to serve as a reminder of why we fought for this law.

In this moment

Five years ago I asked Ireland did we respect human dignity enough to assume responsibility for its protection. Bodily integrity is of course at the heart of human dignity and I do not believe that we should get to pick whose bodily integrity we choose to protect. All humans are equal and as such all humans should be afforded the same rights and protection. This law is about the protection of human dignity, and valuing human dignity above other values finally recognizes it to be among the most resourceful of values, one that can motivate when all else fails and on this issue all else has failed. This law is about the protection of freedom and there are some laws that they in themselves bring freedom and this is most definitely one of them. On the 14th February, 2017 Ireland gave me her answer and it was yes.
Justice has prevailed but justice evolves out of recognition. Five years ago I joined a remarkable group of people who supported me as I testified over and over again. I was a witness to some of the most heinous crimes, committed on my own body and I had witnessed the suffering of others. It was often said to me ‘I’m sorry you were raped but..’, ‘I’m sorry that your friends died but..’ for five years now, no one has ever been able to justify that ‘but’, because there is no justification and there never will be.
The burden of proof and shame weighed heavy on my shoulders at times, but I always knew that the havoc it played with my mind was not nor would it ever compare to the hell so many were still trapped in.
In those moments I remembered the 18yr old child in my arms that had just been violated so inhumanely and as her tears fell, I wiped them and held her close, she had no mum or dad I could call, no one I could contact that would come take her home, in fact she had no home. My own teenage child was at home safe and she always had me to protect her. This child had no one, so I held her as tight as I could and in that moment I was her mother. We as humans are much more connected to each other than the world would like us to believe. We have gotten used to dividing each other into them and us. There has been an historical lack of empathy with women and children who are considered to be of a lesser value and evil thrives in the absence of empathy.
At this moment the traffickers and pimps are winning in Europe, trading in women and children’s bodies is on a larger scale now than it ever has been in history. And the only countries in Europe who are making a substantial impact in the fight against modern day slavery are the ones who have acknowledged and faced the cause, the demand. All other member states are losing the fight because when logic and reasoning (moral or otherwise) is put to one side you are doomed to fail from the start.
There’s a Coldplay song called Paradise which I sometimes play over and over, the lyrics read, ‘when she was a little girl, she expected the world but it flew away from her reach & now she escapes in her sleep – in the night, the stormy nights, she closes her eyes and dreams of paradise’. The psychologists will tell us that children who grow up in the developing nations, that the children who grow with practically nothing will dream bigger, they will dream of being doctors, teachers, pilots, they dream of paradise, there isn’t a single little girl in Nigeria or Romania today who is dreaming of one day coming to Ireland to be bought and sold to perform sex acts on Irish men. And yes it is the traffickers and pimps who coerce, trick and break the promises that have lured them here but it is the citizens of this country who give them the nightmares. For the most part they are the lost daughters of others and we have a duty to protect them. And I am very glad that my homeland has decided to do so.
This new legislation provides the police officers who tried but in vain to protect me and the other women out there the power to do just that. If it had of been there when I was on that street, I know for a fact that I would not have spent nearly six years of my life on that street being stripped of every piece of dignity I ever owned.
I will repeat what I have always said, that I have so much respect for the Gardai because for those six years it was the only thing they ever showed me. I am not naïve enough to believe that there won’t be challenges in relation to the new legislation and its success falls not only at the feet of the police but on all of us. And I personally believe and the men in the room will please allow me this one, that it should be a woman who is in charge of formally removing the female body from the market, we have earned that right.
Some time ago I was asked a question by my 5yr old granddaughter Annabelle, she asked ‘Auntie Mia, why does blame hurt my heart?, I was taken aback by the profoundest of the question, that I told her I would need some time to think about it before I could answer.
On the 15th Feb, I collected Annabelle from school; she knew that I had spent the night before in the parliament waiting to see if the law would pass. And although she is unaware of the full nature of the Bill, she knows its importance. She looked up at me hesitantly and asked ‘did the lady change the law’ (that lady is you Taniaste, the lady who looks like Obama’s friend Hillary), and I said she did indeed, she smiled and said, so we’re all protected now and I said yes, you are now protected. I then said ‘do you remember when you asked me why does blame hurt your heart?’, she nodded yes, well I have an answer now it’s because it feels unjust, that is what injustice feels like and this new law ends that injustice. ‘Does this mean that the hearts will mend?’ she asked, yes it does I replied and the biggest smile came across her little face and I asked her, ‘Do you know what you are feeling now?, No she replied, it’s hope, that’s what hope feels like Annabelle.
You see, my search in life is and always will be for the good, I had to look a little harder on that street but once you find it you can build on it, that construction process must be fuelled by hope, and yes, sometimes even I find it hard to ‘dance with the devil on my back’ but the music of hope and resilience plays on and I keep moving.
In this moment I commend you Minister Fitzgerald on this remarkable piece of legislation, for it establishes a code of conduct between humans that will save generations to come.
And finally, in this moment
I am proud

The 25th November, 2015 was International White Ribbon Day, to mark the occasion an event was organized in the Pillar Room of the Rotunda Hospital, Dublin. The White Ribbon Campaign is a global male led campaign which aims at ending all forms of men’s violence against women & girls which includes prostitution. Ireland is very lucky to have a remarkable man and my dearest friend Tom Meagher as our White Ribbon advocate. I was honoured to be asked by Tom to be the closing speaker and here is my speech. (some familiar words at the start but please read on).

The Milkman of Human Kindness

My name is Mia de Faoite and I am a survivor of prostitution and I’m delighted to have this opportunity to speak to you today at this great event.

I exited prostitution 5yrs years ago with the help of a social worker and I have been an activist for the Turn off the Red Light campaign for the last 3 ½ years. Which is a campaign made up of 73 partners, some of whom are here today. Together we have been campaigning relentlessly for legislative change in Ireland’s prostitution laws. Legislation which would follow the Nordic countries. Legislation which would make it a criminal offence to purchase another human being for sex and that is what prostitution is.

The reason I joined the campaign is because I had once been on a very different journey, I had gone from being a respected civil servant with a responsible job and all that goes with that life and then, my life with the help of some very bad decisions on my part which led me to become addicted to heroin and I descended into a cruel and very disturbing world, a world I had only ever seen in the movies, a world I still struggle to understand, that world was prostitution. It was quite surreal at times when I thought about how in the space of two years I had gone from having my own office to selling myself for as little as 30 euros on a street, so I didn’t think about too often. I spent nearly six years of my life in that cruel world and I can find no justification for what I witnessed. The violence and rape that happens in prostitution is frightening and disturbing, I am a survivor of multiple rapes including a gang rape, a vicious attack which my friend Jenny did not survive and when you have been exposed to such human wickedness it changes the way you see the world. And any system or industry which allows the violent sexual crime of rape to thrive should be shut down, it shouldn’t even have to be debated. Martin Luther King stated that the laws are not made to change the heart but to restrain the heartless.

This law is one I profoundly believe in and as such was one I was prepared to fight for. My question to Ireland was always do we respect human dignity enough for us to assume responsibility for its protection. Bodily integrity is of course at the heart of human dignity and I do not believe that we should get to pick whose body integrity we choose to protect, as all humans are equal and as such all humans should be afforded the same rights and protection. This law is about the protection of human dignity, and valuing human dignity above other values finally recognizes it to be among the most resourceful of values, one that can motivate when all else fails and on this issue all else has failed so I am very proud that Ireland both north and south is now placing it first. This law is about the protection of freedom and there are some laws that they in themselves bring freedom and this is most definitely one of them. Because really the only difference between every woman in this room and all the women and girls who are up for sale today is circumstances and if my life is testament to anything, it’s to the fact that they can change.

Some of my friends on the street had figured that if anyone was to make it off that street that it would be me, they were right and believe me, given the disturbing statistics I truly know how lucky I am and because of that I now believe that I have an absolute responsibility to ensure in whatever way I can that the true face of prostitution is made visible.

I also believe that it is the responsibility of all humans to try in whatever way that we can to leave this world a better and safer place for the next generation. This responsibility lays especially with us, the ones who have been afforded opportunities and educations that many can only dream of. I say this not to evoke a sense of guilt or as a request for sympathy for those we might consider less fortunate then us, for those feelings will change nothing, but more I seek empathy and a sense of compassion, the successful ingredients for sustained hope and positive social change, and also that we remember that there are many on this Island that life has not been good or kind to.

Prostitution is, was and always will be an absolute affront to human dignity, it is a gross infringement of human dignity whether the person being bought knows that or not. In fact to me it will always be a crime against humanity because it affects our very humanness; it attacks and destroys the elements of being human that separate us from all other living things, our human consciousness and our ability to reason not to mention the extremely negative impact it has on society in general, on humankind. The Island of Ireland has now fully acknowledged these facts and has worked together because when human dignity is in jeopardy and freedom is at stake, political differences and national sensitivities become irrelevant. We have not been bound by history because history is a series of processes through which humanity must be found and on this issue it was so long overdue.

As today is a remarkable day, a gathering of many leading men and women who have decided to take a stand and join the fight to end all forms of men’s violence against women and girls, I thought I would share a brief story from the street that reflects that. You see, my search in life as always been for the good, even on that street I tried to find it, and on this one night it made itself visible. It was a freezing cold night in November, about 7yrs ago and it was the only night I had ever gone out to the street and had not been purchased by someone which had left me with no money. By 3.30am I knew I would be there till morning, I had enough change on me to get the bus home but would have to wait until they began. I walked into the driveway of the first house on the Burlington Road and huddled up in the corner of the door way, I tried to cover every inch of my skin with my long black coat. I placed my hands up the opposite sleeves of my coat and tucked the end of my coat under my boots. I can’t remember ever feeling that cold before, the shivering becomes uncontrollable, and eventually your limbs go numb but there’s a strange stinging sensation also. I tried to hum or remember tunes in my head to keep myself awake, I was terrified to sleep in case I didn’t wake up and yet I longed for that, for I knew that the street was killing me slowly and maybe tonight was my night. After about two hours or so I heard footsteps coming into the drive on the gravel, my heart began to pound, I tried to reach into my bag to get my pencil. I had decided after the last time I had been raped that if a buyer ever tried to rape me again, I would stick a sharp pencil in him, it wouldn’t do much damage but it would give me enough time to get away. But my fingers were too stiff; I couldn’t find it in my bag. Then I heard a voice, a man’s voice but he spoke softly “are you alright” he said. I must have had a panicked look on my face when I looked up at him, because he said quickly, “I’m not gonna hurt you, I’m the Milkman, I just want to know if you’re alright”. I told him I was grand and thanks. He asked me why I was there, I told him I hadn’t made any money and was stuck until the buses started but that wouldn’t be too long and I’d be grand. His voice got firmer, “You won’t be grand, you’re frozen solid, how much would a taxi be to your home” he asked. About 20 euros I said. Well you stay there and I’ll go get one for you. No, I’m alright you don’t have to do that I replied. He turned back around and faced me, he said “I not leaving a woman, half-dressed, frozen solid on a street like this; sure anything could happen you Love, now don’t move and I’ll be back. The minutes passed and then I heard him call me, “C’mon love I have a taxi”. I got up off the cold steps and walked slowly out the gate to the taxi. He opened the door for me and I got in, he placed 30 euros in my hand, I said “You’ve given me too much money”, “I know” he said, “stop and get yourself a coffee and something to eat on the way home”. I said thanks but I don’t know when I can pay this back. He smiled and replied “just get home & get warm & I never said I wanted it back love”. He shut the car door and I left. I stared out the window until I could no longer see him and part of me didn’t want to leave him. The milkman of Human Kindness as the song says, because before we are anything we are human.

That act of kindness meant the world to me out there in that disturbing world I felt so trapped in, all the other men I met wanted something very different from me. And I knew if I could meet the good on that street, there must be so much more of it off that street and if I ever made it out, I would try and find it. I found it, especially in you Tom Meagher and Alan O’Neil. I have and will always have a place in my life for good men, men who have held me in their arms, wiped my tears and helped me make sense of the world again, in fact my life would be incomplete without them.

It is imperative that Ireland outlaws prostitution if we are to ever achieve true gender equality, because we will never stand shoulder to shoulder with our male counterparts, as long as it is acceptable for us to be on our knees or our backs at their mercy. And the abuse of women and girls whether it’s sexual, physical or emotional abuse can and will end but only when all humans come together to do it and that of course includes men.

In finish, we are approaching an historic date in the Republic, great celebrations will be had and rightly so, to remember the brave men who rose up and fought for our independence and freedom. But the first 100 years of our Republic were not so good for many women and girls. My hope is that the men rise up again and fight for a Republic that truly stands by its belief that we are all equal so that the next 100 years will be different for all of us.

On 7th August, 2015 Amnesty International will have their congress meeting in Dublin, Ireland, my home town. At this meeting they will take a vote on whether to endorse decriminalising pimping and brothel-keeping. As a survivor of prostitution, I wrote this to remind Amnesty of the harsh realities of the sex trade from a very personal place. You will understand just how personal when you read it.

The Last Insult

In December, 2005, my friend and I were bought and brought to a hotel complex. We were paid by a group of eight men, to “entertain” them on their Christmas night out. That “entertainment” evolved into mayhem, the result of this held to the gang-rape of me and my friend. The events of that night were to change the way I saw the world forever and they took the life of my friend, a 27yr old woman named Jenny who had a beautiful young son whom she adored.

Jenny was a friendly, bright, kind person and an extremely loyal friend. And although heroin had controlled her life for some years, she had been making positive steps to get her life back. She had moved out of Dublin, she had stabilized on methadone and most importantly (and something she was so proud and happy about) was that she had regained visitation rights to her only child. That night before the men took us to the hotel, her whole face lit up, whenever she spoke about her son. She had only come down to Dublin to make some money to buy him some special gifts for Christmas. That Christmas would turn out to be her very last.

I have spoken publicly about the rapes that were committed that night on many occasions. I can find no justification for those crimes and; I believe that no one is able to justify such human wickedness. Amnesty would agree with me I am sure, and would fight alongside me to find justice if I asked. This is confusing to me and it makes no sense because on the other hand they are prepared to sanction the behavior that led to this crime. They are prepared to endorse the purchase of human beings for sex and they are fully prepared to ignore the conditions which are present in all cases; the conditions under which rape, beatings, torture and murder occur. Those conditions can never be policed and those who are purchased can never be offered any protection as there is no way of knowing if or when it is going to happen. The only right and humane thing to do is to stop these conditions being set up in the first place and that is by banning the purchase of human beings for sex.

But maybe you have to be present. Maybe you have to witness the rape of another with your own eyes, be in the same room, be less than ten foot away from your friend as she is being violently abused and you can do nothing to help her because you are held down. Because your own body is being mauled at and violated by others in a heinous way. You plead, you beg, you cry, you offer yourself to the few that are attacking her in the hope that her pain will cease. You watch as her eyes sink into the back of her head, as the last shred of her dignity is removed. Jenny didn’t die that night, and yet she did, because she spent the next couple of months in a drug haze until she overdosed and died all alone.

The largest human rights organization in the world, Amnesty International, is about to take a vote on prostitution policy at the very same Dublin hotel complex Jenny and I were taken to and tortured; Citywest. The proposal they apparently intend to endorse would bestow a life sentence of sexual exploitation and rape to many around the world.

My call is to the Amnesty members who have come to the same conclusion as I have, members who joined an organization to help approve the lives of others, and who would appear to have no voice or they are choosing to remain silent. Remember, Amnesty does not belong to the elite board members, it belongs to you and its reputation and name is in your hands also. Martin Luther King stated that history will recall not the actions of our enemy but more the silence of our friends, he was right, because out of the eight men that were present that night in 2005, one of them never laid a hand on either of us and his is the only face I can recall.

Those Amnesty members must stand up and speak out, even if you are the only one standing. You will then be able to leave the Citywest complex; knowing that you took no part in sanctioning the heinous crime which happened there, and you will be able to hold your head high knowing that you actually stood on the side of human dignity and, despite objections, you were prepared to fight for its protection. Amnesty, a human rights organization, is in danger of committing a grave act of cruelty. They will also be handing out an extremely painful last insult to my friend Jenny.

On the 1st June, 2015, purchasing a human being for sex was made a criminal offence in Northern Ireland. It was an historic day and a great victory for humanity. I was invited by Lord Morrow to speak at an event which marked this remarkable day, one of the proudest days of my life and these are the words I spoke.

Stormont, Belfast

1st June, 2015.

Two hours to Freedom

Two hours, two hours was all it took for me to be in a beautiful city where I can now walk and feel truly free as a woman; because from today in Northern Ireland women and girls are no longer for sale. I had made this same two hour journey 16mths ago, I came to Belfast to bare witness to a crime that had gone unpunished for far too long but that is no longer the case here.

I had once been on a very different journey, I had gone from being a respected civil servant with a responsible job and all that goes with that life and then my life with the help of some very bad decisions on my part which led me to become addicted to heroin and then I descended into a cruel and very disturbing world, a world I had only ever seen in the movies, a world I still struggle to understand, that world was prostitution. It was quite surreal at times when I thought about how in the space of two years I had gone from having my own office to selling myself for as little as 30euros on a street, so I didn’t think about too often. I spent nearly six years of my life in that cruel world and I can find no justification for what I witnessed. The violence and rape that happens in prostitution to which I bore witness to in this very building is frightening and disturbing but I had to let you know. And any system or industry which allows the violent sexual crime of rape to thrive should be shut down, it shouldn’t even have to be debated. Martin Lurther King stated that the laws are not made to change the heart but to restrain the heartless.

I walked off the Burlington Road, on the 10th October, 2010 with the help of a social worker, I knew I would never go back but I didn’t know if I had enough strength inside me to make it back to this world but somehow with the help of many I made it. Some of my friends on the street had figured that if anyone was to make it off that street that it would be me, they were right and believe me, given the disturbing statistics I truly know how lucky I am and because of that I now believe that I have an absolute responsibility to ensure in whatever way I can that the true face of prostitution is made visible.

I also believe that it is the responsibility of all humans to try in whatever way that we can to leave this world a better and safer place for the next generation. This responsibility lays especially with us, the ones who have been afforded opportunities and educations that many can only dream of. I say this not to evoke a sense of guilt or as a request for sympathy for those we might consider less fortunate then us, for those feelings will change nothing, but more I seek empathy and a sense of compassion, the successful ingredients for sustained hope and positive social change, and also that we remember that there are many on this Island that life has not been good or kind to.

Lord Morrow it is a great pleasure to meet you today for I have longed to shake your hand for some time now. I wanted to shake the hand of the person who was brave enough to stand up for those who have no voice, you knew there would be challenges but neither insult nor argument deterred you from your ultimate goal which was justice, in its truest form. I, much like you flatly refuse to renounce my moral autonomy even in the face of adversity. You are indeed a remarkable example of what it means to be both a good citizen and a good human being, which unfortunately can be a rarity within the political arena and yet it is the one crucial place where voices such as yours are needed.

A commend and thank the Justice committee for making this Bill a reality, you listened, you heard, you made your decision and you acted on it immediately that is good governance and it is not the first time that Northern Ireland has shown a great example to the world. That when human dignity is in jeopardy and freedom is at stake, political differences and national sensitivities become irrelevant. And I also applaud and commend the PSNI (Police Service Northern Ireland) for being willing and open to becoming part of Europe’s elite and special defenders of human dignity and protectors of freedom.

This law is one I profoundly believe in and as such was one I was prepared to fight for. My question to Ireland was always do we respect human dignity enough for us to assume responsibility for its protection. Bodily integrity is of course at the heart of human dignity and I do not believe that we should get to pick whose body integrity we choose to protect, as all humans are equal and as such all humans should be afforded the same rights and protection. This law is about the protection of human dignity, and valuing human dignity above other values finally recognizes it to be among the most resourceful of values, one that can motivate when all else fails and on this issue all else has failed so I am very proud that Ireland both north and south is now placing it first. This law is about the protection of freedom and there are some laws that they in themselves bring freedom and this is most definitely one of them. Because really the only difference between every woman in this room and all the women and girls who are up for sale today is circumstances and if my life is testament to anything, it’s to the fact that they can change.

It is my firm belief that everybody on this Island be they born here or not is entitled to live a dignified life, and prostitution is the systematic stripping of one’s human dignity and I know that because I have lived and witnessed it, and it must no longer be tolerated and now in Northern Ireland the next generation of girls, will grow up knowing that the bodies to which they have been born into are respected and at no time will they ever be up for sale.

I leave you now with the same words I finished my submission with, rhetorical yes but absolute truth and those words are, that at any moment, anyone can do something to make the world a better place, today 1st June, 2015 Northern Ireland, you did that something.

On the 12th November, 2014 I attended and spoke at the CAP International conference held at the National Assembly in Paris, France. I, along with four other survivors got to address the audience, this is my address. The only thing worse then everybody knowing the following information is the thought of nobody ever knowing.

WELCOME TO MY TRUTH PARIS

Bonjour, je mapelle Mia et je pense donc je suis, for I will never deny where heroin and prostitution brought me but I refuse to let it define who I am today, because if it defines me, it becomes me and it is not all I am.

The purchase of another human being for sex, it is not and never has been the purchase of sex, because neither I nor any of the other women stand on the street or in the brothels with our genitalia and our mouths and throats in neatly wrapped packages which you could borrow and return to us. No, I had to go with them, you had to talk to me first, my mind was present the whole time.

You always have to buy the person before you gain access to their body. The first principle of equality as I heard Simon Haggstrom, one of Europe’s leading protectors of human dignity describe is that no human being should have control over the body of another human being, and that is what prostitution is.

My first experience of violence was extreme as it came in the form of a gang rape that lasted for what seemed like forever, and in many ways it will, for from that night on, I no longer lived, I just existed and in a world I could no longer comprehend, I could no longer make sense of.

I left a building with a bruised body and face, smelling of urine and bleeding from my rectum. do you now understand how I couldn’t see the choices anymore, and the only reason I coped was through disassociation, the young woman who was with me that night did not survive, her drug use spiralled out of control and she died alone of an overdose about 2mths later. To many her death would be just another sad statistic but to me her life will always be of value. The events of that night exposed me to such human wickedness, but apart from my own endurance, it tore me apart to witness what was left of a young 27yr old woman’s sanity disappear before my very eyes, and there is a little boy who will now grow up never knowing just how hard his mother was trying to get away, he will never know how kind and wonderful she was, prostitution has robbed him of that and from countless other children as well.

My next rape was a year or so later by a lone offender off the street where I stood, the next I’m not sure if I can call it rape, it happened the same night, I was sitting on the ground on the street after the attack, my money and my phone had also been taken, just sitting disorientated and alone, with an aching body and a struggling mind, when a regular of mine pulled up, he got out of the car, picked me up and offered to drive me home, I told him what had happened and he even stopped and bought me a coffee but just before we reached my home, he pulled in and reminded me that I had no money to pay him, but that I could sort him out, I didn’t even argue, I just leaned back and let him, so what do you call that, someone who has sex with a woman they know has been raped about an hour or so beforehand.

My last rape was by two young men, high on cocaine, one watched while the other did it but to me he is just as guilty. I have countless accounts of humiliations, being urinated on, etc. of oral rape, in fact I have no gag reflex, the muscles at the back of your throat learn to relax, and they have to.

We are already considered the lowest of the low, what I am trying to say is if you set up the conditions for rape, it will happen, I don’t mean myself and my friend alone in a appt with 8 men, we as prostituted women are a prime target for any buyer who wants to fulfil the violent sexual crime of rape only with us they can do it and get away with it and both society and the laws that govern it play a major role in keeping it that way, and it will remain un-punishable while it remains legal to buy another human being in the first place. So, now for me heroin had become a lifeline to cope with being bought, where it began with selling myself to cope with heroin, welcome to the paradox, that so very few of us escape from. I am one of the lucky few.

We exist out there underneath a shadow of the constant threat of violence, a dark cloud of fear hovers around us permanently, but it is the fear as Aristotle would describe, where fear is the pain you feel on the anticipation of the arrival of evil and in prostitution that evil arrives all too often but the most frightening thing about this kind of fear is that it is state sanctioned.

Prostitution and Sex trafficking are intrinsically linked, you have one because of the other. For the last 18mths of my time on the street, I stood alongside a trafficked woman, she became my closest friend and I have never seen a human being so broken down. The conditions under which she lived were so inhumane and she had developed a twisted sense of loyalty to her controller, that someone had trafficked her from home, right across Europe and finally landing in Ireland, at this stage she had been completely broken down, his control was all that she knew, he would beat her if she was challenging, kept her passport, she was put out on the street at 6pm and she stayed there until 5a/m every night, she was addicted to crack cocaine and he was the dealer, she had to return with every 100 euro’s, she made nothing. But although we had arrived at the same place through different means we are connected because we were bought, used, exploited, humiliated and raped by the same buyers, one night I would be bought and a few nights later the same man could buy her and on a couple of occasions we were bought together, and that connection can never be broken by anyone, at any time, in any country.

I use to think that as bad and as disconnected as my own life was at least I got to go home at night, but I find it unimaginable to think of what it must be like to be in a country where you know no one and maybe you don’t even speak the same language.

I will end the story of my African friend with one of the saddest things I ever seen and for me it puts it all into perspective, I was at home one night alone, as my daughter had become ill and needed some in-patient care, my phone rang, there had been a row between her, her trafficker and another girl. I told her to come to my home as I was on my own; I had always kept home and the street completely separate.

She arrived, crying uncontrollably, I’d never seen her so upset; I hugged her and checked her wounds, as she had blood all over her hands, but thankfully everything was superficial. It doesn’t really matter what the fight was about, control, drugs, etc. I made her coffee and we had a cigarette together. I said I would run her a bath as she looked exhausted. I ran the bath and called her in. I left her to relax and went in the other room, I was closing my window, when she called me, I turned around and what I saw shocked me to the core, for there in front of me my friend stood naked, but she had the body of a child, her rips stuck out, there were no breasts, it was covered in old bruises, new bruises, scratches, she looked like someone who’d just been released from a concentration camp, my eyes welled up but I didn’t want her to see me cry, so I brought her into the bathroom again, she had called me to wash her hair as her arms were sore, I washed her hair, took her out of the bath, and she sat in between my legs on the floor as I brushed and blow-dried her hair, she was humming just like a child, I put her to bed and sat beside her until she fell asleep. And then I cried for the lost child I had just put to bed, I’ll never forget the image I saw that night but this was not a concentration camp, in Poland in 1945, this was my apartment, Dublin, 2010, there was no war but there is no law to protect either.

Protecting the good citizen, I believe this is where some people struggle because for the most part the men who buy human beings for sex are exactly that, they are good citizen’s, in that they are in gainful employment, so they pay their taxes, they pay their rent or buy homes with their partners, they have 2.4 children, they tick every box the society deems to be correct, so we allow them this little indulgence, how we allow it is again through silence and keeping it legal. For the men who bought me and all the other women, the men that feed this twisted industry, they walk among you everyday, they are fathers, husbands, colleagues etc. we don’t want to acknowledge that the good citizen can behave like a bad human being, I understand that fear, for we hate to upset societies little applecart but at who’s expense do we do that!

I, on the other hand would be viewed as a bad citizen, I didn’t have a job, I was supported by the state, I was a heroin addict and worst of all, I stood on a public street displaying my wears, luring these good citizens to me, as if they had no choice. But I am a good human being, I always have been. This is the balance you must find between the good citizen and the good human being and which one of us comes first in the queue for protection.

So how do we ensure that that happens, well we follow Sweden’s lead, Sweden placed human dignity first. They fully understand the concept of human dignity, which is the value and respect we place on one another as humans being. What happens when we place human dignity first, as Sweden has proved beyond doubt is that the good triumphs, where as in countries that have placed it last, evil thrives, as is abundantly evident in the countries that have either decriminalised, legalised and under torrelating regimes. That evil is both human trafficking and the place where vulnerable women and children are trafficked into, which is prostitution, where they join the addicted, disconnected and damaged women like myself who are also trapped but in a different way, to service the wants of a particular group of men.

I do believe that most evils in the world are committed by nobodies, and further more I believe it is now time that the nobodies where brought to bear and made accountable and responsible for the cruel industry and slave trade they willingly sustain and uphold, in fact it only exists because of them. I would like nothing more than for the police who tried but in vain to protect me to be given the green light to do exactly that, to be given the powers and legislation that will fine offenders, jail the real pimps and coercers and send out a clear message to the traffickers that women are no longer for sale because there is no anti-trafficking law which is more powerful than getting the use of another man’s slave.

This law is about the protection of the most vulnerable human beings, many of whom are being rescued with bar codes and bondage debt’s tattooed to their bodies, I do not believe that Europe’s memory is that short. This law is about the protection of human dignity and freedom, and when human dignity is in jeopardy and human lives are endangered, political differences and sensitivities become irrelevant.

The one sure thing that six years of deeply personal anthropological insight into sexual exploitation has thought me is that prostitution is not compatible with humanity and we either choose one or the other.

I wrote this letter as response to a couple of things, one I had been given a short assignment in college to pick one Right from the Declaration of Human Rights and write a brief account of where I felt our country, Ireland was in breach of that Right. Having only escaped prostitution about 14mths previous to this, Article 4 was the only one my mind could possibly focus on.

I had also once tried to get a dear friend of mine out of the country and back to her homeland. We had managed to retrieve her passport and she stayed with me until we could organise a flight. During that week I spoke to a relative of hers to let them know that she would be returning and what the arrangements were. I will always remember their voice and words. My friend never got on that flight, the pimp got to her first. This assignment made me think of that heartbreaking moment for her and her family.

I have a daughter and I wondered how unimaginable it would be if she was trapped in another country to be sexually exploited every day. What would I do? we all watch the movie “Taken” and believe that that would be how we would react but not all fathers have the “particular set of skills” needed to retrieve their daughters. So I thought about what if I was one of the many fathers with lost daughters and what would I say to the country holding her captive and below are those words….

Dear Ireland,

I am writing this letter out of shear desperation, as Ireland you have something belonging to me, something so precious and loved by me and that is my daughter. She is only 18 and left her home to start a new life in Ireland, but Ireland you didn’t give her the dream of a new life, you gave her a nightmare. For you committed the ultimate crime Ireland, you took her freedom, you took everything she once was, for Ireland you are holding my dear daughter captive so she can service the men of your country.

What have you become Ireland that you allow this happen, what has happened the men of your country that they have turned Ireland into a multi-million euro sex haven, such is Ireland’s appetite for sex, that it now tolerates and allows our daughters to be bought in to satisfy these needs and in doing so our daughters, lose their human rights, and are violated, raped, exploited. Oh Ireland this pain is so deep for me, never did I imagine watching my little girl grow up, that she could be taken from me in such a vile way and by a country I once admired.

I need to ask you a question Ireland and I need you to answer it honestly please, do you think that if it was evil men from America enslaving young American girls in Ireland, do you think it would be tolerated, do you think America would tolerate it, is that it Ireland, is it that you only enslave the daughters, sisters, mothers and loved ones of the countries that hold no power, are of no value to you. Please tell me that it isn’t true Ireland, please show me that I am wrong in my thinking of you.

In 1948 Ireland you signed an agreement, a Declaration of Human Rights, why did you sign it? Article 4: No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms. Again I ask you Ireland, why did you sign it, if you don’t believe it, if you can’t stand by it, you lied Ireland, you lied.

But there are now good Irish men and women, standing up to what has happened Ireland, they want to stop this, they want to return our daughters, they want to protect them and they want to make the people who have committed these crimes against our daughters pay. Ireland you must standby your police, who have wanted to stop this slavery for so long but their hands have been tied, please untie their hands and let them protect my child. I’m calling on, begging the good men in Ireland to hear me, to help me, to stand up and let the rest of Ireland know that this sexual slavery cannot and will not be allowed to continue.

Mr. President of Ireland, I have heard that you are a good man, who has insight and knowledge into your country, more than any president that has gone before you, you have fought for justice, equality and freedom your whole life. What has happened Ireland Mr.President? A country that fought for its own freedom and now allows the freedom of young women to be robbed, how has it happened, how? I speak to you not as a president but as one father to another, as a father can you imagine my pain, I can no longer sleep, when I know my child is kept up night after night in Ireland, in pain, alone, afraid, lost and abused by Irish men. Oh please Mr. President I beg you, speak to your government, tell them to change the law so my daughter can be placed in the arms of the good Irish people.

Ireland you are now aware of what is happening in your country, your reporter showed you what our daughters are subjected too, I now place my beloved daughters life in your hands and can only pray you will save her and return her home, I realise that the daughter that left will not be the same one returning, Ireland has made sure of that. I must go now Ireland, as my heart is heavy and my tears are stinging my face, please Ireland if you have any humanity at all, you will stop this, if you don’t Ireland, I’m afraid I will never be able to forgive you, for you have stolen the most precious thing in a father’s life, his daughter.

Mia De Faoite,

On behalf of every father, brother, uncle, son and loved one of the young women who Ireland is keeping enslaved.

Prostitution and sex-trafficking are intrinsically linked; you have one because of the other. Our deep connection is through the demand for our bodies because we are bought, used, exploited, humiliated and raped by the same offenders and that cruel bond can never be broken by anyone, at any time, in any county. Though some policy makers, governments and radical academics will do their best to try to disconnect us but their denial of the truth is both futile and illogical, it is an analytic truth and for it is only the fool that does not acknowledge that.

For nearly eighteen months I stood alongside a trafficked woman, we became extremely close although we met in secret, as she was always under the watchful eye of her master. I have never met a woman so broken down and as much as I loved and cared for her, I could not break the unhealthy attachment or twisted sense of loyalty she had for her controller. She would defend him if he beat her, she was at times desperate to please him and yet something inside her longed to be free but freedom was a concept she had lost all sense of.

I tried to help her escape and took her to my home and that first night I will never forget, I said I would run her a bath as she looked exhausted. I ran the bath, left out a towel and called her in. I left her to relax and went in the other room, I was closing the window, when she called me, I turned around and what I saw shocked me to the core, for there in front of me my friend stood naked, but she had the body of a child, her rips stuck out, there were no breasts, it was covered in old bruises, new bruises, scratches, she looked like someone who’d just been released from a concentration camp, my eyes welled up but I did not want her to see me cry, so I brought her into the bathroom again, she had called me to wash her hair for her as her arms were sore, I washed her hair, took her out of the bath, and she sat in between my legs on the floor as I brushed and blow-dried her hair, she was humming just like a child, I put her to bed and sat beside her until she fell asleep. And then I cried and cried for the lost child I had just put to bed, I’ll never forget the image I saw but this was nott a concentration camp, in Poland in 1945, this was my apartment, Dublin, 2010, there is no war but there is no law to protect either.

My lost friend returned to her master, she had only tasted freedom for five days and could not understand it, she could no longer think for herself. The one and only thing that removed my friend’s freedom was prostitution, we can blame the traffickers and pimps but they only exist because of the offenders, men who believe they have a right to buy other human beings.

Some months ago I went on an outing to Dublin Zoo with the survivors of prostitution and sex-trafficking and their children. We had stopped to see the giraffe’s, they have a new enclosure since I’d last been there and a new baby giraffe. I picked my friends little girl up to show her, they’re giraffes I said and they come all the way from Africa, she was not that bothered, she like all toddlers was more concerned with trying to climb the fence.

But I looked back around at the giraffe’s, beautiful, graceful creatures from Africa, and then it occurred to me, we bring these animals to our country so that children get to see them. We treat them so well, give them the appropriate shelter, food and settings so they can grow, be healthy and happy, and rightly so. But they are not the only thing that we now import to Ireland, for we now import women and children from Africa to satisfy the needs of a certain type of man and it is not to be admired and treated with respect like the giraffe’s, oh no it is for very different reasons and none of them have anything to do with admiration and respect. I picked up that little girl again, I hugged her and kissed her cheek and I apologized to her on behalf of my country, I apologized for what has happened to her beautiful mother but I told her things were about to change. I felt such shame but it was not the toxic shame, we as prostituted women live with, no this was different, this was shame for my homeland.

Silence is golden, they say, no it is not, peace and serenity is golden, silence can be deadly. Why has Ireland stayed silent for so long regarding the purchase of human beings for sex because it places a different value on women like me and a different value on the women that are trafficked into this country. It is something most people would not admit to, placing the value of one woman over another, sometimes they don’t even see it. But I only have to think what would be happening if the women were being trafficked in from America or Germany, do you think we would tolerated it then, I think not, so if I was a woman born to a “respectable” family from Manhattan, I would be rescued, supported and returned home safely, for America is of great value to us, but if I am born into poverty, uneducated and tricked into coming here from a Eastern European country, I am not entitled to the same treatment because that country is of no value to us, how do we decide this, what right do we have to decide which human being is more valuable than the other.

Human trafficking is the modern day slavery and sexual slavery is the most appalling of crimes, for it removes human beings of all their human rights and dignity. To do nothing is to play an active role in it happening. The world over is waking up to this, my country has no choice but to stand up to it. For freedom is something Ireland had to fight for itself, so we should have no struggle with fighting to protect the freedom of others, no matter what country they come from.

Prostitution is, was and always will be an absolute affront to human dignity and I know that because I have lived it. Just two and a half years ago I stood on a lonely street having been stripped of every piece of dignity I ever owned and everything I thought I once was had turned on me, despite me.

Sweden did the right thing in the name of freedom, justice and equality, Norway and Iceland followed and now it is Irelands turn and we must not let an opportunity to evoke a social change for the greater good pass us by, for my government does not have the right to continue to let tragic lives become absurd.

In finish, one’s life has value so long as one attributes value to the life’s of others, that is my wish for my country, that it attributes value to the lives of the trafficked, the coerced, the displaced, the isolated, the damaged, the addicted, in essence the haunted majority of which I was once one.