Austin is the capital of Texas. Austin is populated by only young people ages 20-40 with 666,666 (1,200,000) residents. A 1/3 of the residents of Austin are students in schools and attend any university they want. It is a swell city. Austin is also known as the ATX. (Especially the underground and the underworld.) Home of the University of Texas, (UT), the largest university in Texas, Megatexas, and North America. Also known Austin or ATX and seat of Travis County.

Suburbs

Barton Creek - The richest town in Texas and the United States. Home to very aristocratic rich people. 98% to 100.0% of the children attend private schools for weird religions. A LOT BETTER than their other suburb, Lost Creek for the poor in West/Southwest Austin. Filled with White people. Home to many Boarding schools. This neighbourhood has often been criticized for its lack of racial and socio-economic diversity. Due to such factors, the youth are often typecast the stereotypical mold of a "Spoiled Brat" or "Rich Bitch". Just an example of how Barton Creek is detached from the world as well.

Bee Cave- A village with SO MANY shops. Population is only 1,600 people. Very far West!!

Buda The town with only 2,000 people. Not to be confused with Butter or cum. Many trailer homes are inside city limits, so don't live there if you're rich.

Elroy - Home to the largest mud wrasslin' pit in the world, which is currently out of service because we haven't gotten enough rain to make mud. Awesome people with money want to pave the mud wrasslin' pit because racecar. This, of course, pisses off the hippies who moved here from California, as it is the hippies' job to bitch incessantly about anything that happens in ATX.

Leander - A village home to Cedar Park. It pwnsCedar Park too. Another wealthy are near Austin, so they are filthy rich too. Also filled with White people.

Lost Creek - Somewhat similar to Barton Creek, but not as dirty rich. Mainly filed with poor in West Austin. Filled with White people and some Asians. They also have often been criticized for its lack of racial and socio-economic diversity.. The African American percentage is very small that many of the other white people have been known to be SO confused as to the reason that the black's are so tan, and ask what their tanning secret is. Just an example of how Lost Creek is detached from the world as well. The rest of the world won't matter because they only care about "success" and gaining money, effectively silencing any negation of life that may be occurring. The truth is, very few people from that area go on to make a difference on an activist level, most return to Lost Creek (and Barton Creek) and the cycle continues...

Manor Home to farms and emptyland. Similar to Elgin and Del Valle. Has Black people and Hispanics. Northeast of Austin and next to Elgin. They have been gentrified out of existence almost. Manor has love/hate relationship with Elgin.

Pflugerville - Right next to Round Rock, but not nearly as good because the people are not as rich. They hate Westlake and Cedar Park. They have been gentrified out of existence.

Rollingwood - A very rich community suburb that is also filled with rich snobby kids who's parents are aristocratic historical rich. Filled with White people and Asians, and a few Indians. Don't speed though there!! Rollingwood was also created so that people wouldn't have to deal with the integration of desegregation in Austin, too. They are really their own city. Rollingwood has been honored for having an extremely effective City district administration. Rollingwood is detached from the world just as Westlake Hills is. It is full of rich, snobby jerks and sluttygirls who only care about Nordstroms, make-up, tampons, and working in their corner as well. Lipgloss and nail polish, along with assskin-tight jeans and 6 inch stripper stilettos are essential, as well as a Lexus, Ford, Chevrolet Camaro, or a Porsche.

Round Rock - Home to Dell HQ where Michael Dell put it. Home to computers, dorks, geeks, nerds, and video games. There are some factories located in the city limits. Similar to Lakeway, Westlake Hills, Leander, Cedar Park, and Rollingwood. Asians too. Very far North!! Very urban too. It looks like South Dallas. The cops are crazy as fuck. Better not do any cocaine within the city limits or any other drugs for that matter.

West Lake Hills - Filled with rich snobby kids who's parents are aristocratic historical rich. Filled with White people (mostly) and Asians, and a few Indians. Starbucks on every corner. It also known as Westlake. A village also. Don't speed though there!! Westlake Hills was created so that people wouldn't have to deal with the integration of desegregation in Austin. Westlake has been criticized for being racist and having racists for a number of years. Also the African American percentage is so small that many of the other white people have been known to be confused as to the reason that the black's are so tan, and ask what their tanning secret is. Though Westlake does very well both academically and in the Sports department, socially most of them have been known to be referred to as tools, Reagan lovers, super rich dill dallies, super rich brats, rich bitches, fudgepackers, and many other names that allude to being really washy. Westlake has also been criticized for having an extremely ineffective City (Town) district administration. Westlake has often been criticized for its lack of racial and socio-economic diversity. Due to such factors, Westlake youth are often typecast the stereotypical mold of a "Westlake Brat" or a "Rich Bitch". Just an example of how Westlake is detached from the world. They care way too much about football. The rest of the world won't matter because they only care about "success" and gaining money, effectively silencing any negation of life that may be occurring. It is full of rich, snobby jerks and sluttygirls who only care about Nordstroms, make-up, tampons, and working their corner. Lipgloss and nail polish, along with assskin-tight jeans and 6 inch stripper stilettos are essential, as well as a Lexus, Ford, Chevrolet Camaro, or a Porsche. The cops are the worst pigs out there and will arrest you for smoking heroin inside your car, just to screw with your head. The high schools are highly overpopulated, with around 4,000 people and class ratios are around 30:1. Everyone is very judgmental, especially if you make less than $100,000 per year. The population actually decreased (increased) between 2000 and 2005 due to an influx of ne'er-do-wells and scallywags. They moved into the upscale Barton Creek subdivision (Lost Creek too) using settlement money received from an industrial waste accident. They buy a nice house and proceeded to fill the yard with three generations of swingsets and Playskool tool kits and kitchenwares. The residents have 5 dogs and 6 cats that they refuse to spay and neuter. A negative consequence of this oversight is that the Travis County Animal Welfare office has had to increase staff to 3 full-time employees to accommodate the overpopulation of animals. The area residents are seen by many Austin residents as snobbish, excessive and hypocritical. It is not unusual for a 16 year old to receive a brand new Mustang, Volvo, or BMW for their birthday. The truth is, very few people from Westlake go on to make a difference on an activist level, most return to Westlake and the cycle continues...

Nathan Mackey Jr. (Lil Black) : Football player and hip-hop/rap (country rap) artist from Elgin, TX, he was the first hip-hop/rap artist in the ATX to hit the "BillBoard" and go silver rich!!! He was supposed to signed to Columbia in 2002. He did do a song to be called, "Back On The Road" with Willie Nelson in 2000. An original in the Austin hip-hop/rap scene. Also the owner of Nuf-Sed Entertainment and is silver rich!!!

Robert Earl Davis (DJ Screw) : Born somewhere near the ATX, raised in Houston and invented the sub-genre Chopped and Screwed in hip-hop/rap. Died the same way Elvis did. He died on Nov. 2000 in Houston. (Deceased)

Vallejo : A rock music group from Austin, who were originally signed to Sony / Columbia Records in 1999, but had decided to go independent with their vanity imprint label, Vallejo Music Group (VMG) also known as "Vallejo Music Group Records". They had the label originally made in 1990 and they (Vallejo) own it. It has notable musicians like Vallejo, diRTy WoRMz, MC Overlord, Derrick Davis, Smackola, Glassbottles, and many others as well.

What is Austin like?

Austin is the LiveMusicCapital of the World. It home to many yuppies and hippies (20-40) who attend universities and college. University of Texas at Austin (UT) is also to many yuppies and hippies, as well as psychics, drugs, weed (420), cocaine, psycho's and school shootings. School shootings onsight of UT are quite common in ATX. The whole city revolves around the economy of UT. The roads are Bat Fuck Insane. The roads cut off or change their name into a different name on an ongoing road very frequently in Austin. If you look at a map of Austin, you'll see it's very fucked UP!!!!!!! There are too many hills and they are a pain in the ass to climb. Buildings downtown are huge and are in the shape of a penis. Other buildings are shaped as dildos. Overall, the buildings are too tall. It's great place to live. (If you don't like the heat, don't come here.)

Most notably, it is home to the world's largest singing penis sculpture, which was commissioned by now legendary Haitian sculptor and hidebound Democrat Party reformer Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier. The sculpture, which accounts for roughly 55% of the city's tourism income according to a magic-marker scribbling above the urinal at Hole in the Wall, can be heard all over town belting out local tunes, though it vehemently plays anything by Vallejo, and its main shaft can be clearly seen from the rooftop at the Whole Foods downtown corporate headquarters.

"Keep Austin Weird" is the slogan adopted by the Austin Independent Business Alliance to promote small businesses in Austin, Texas. The phrase arose from an offhand remark by Red Wassenich (a librarian at Austin Community College) in a phone call to a local radio station. He and his wife, Karen Pavelka, placed the slogan on bumper stickers, distributing them free to businesses in Austin.
Austin's message of support for local businesses has inspired similar movements in other cities, including Denton, Texas; San Antonio, Texas; Santa Cruz, California; Portland, Oregon; Detroit, Michigan; Fayetteville, Arkansas; Indianapolis, Indiana; Albuquerque, New Mexico; Duluth, Minnesota; New York City, New York; Los Angeles, California; San Francisco, California; and Boulder, Colorado.

Activities and pastimes

Following are some popular pastimes of Austinites:

Contributing to the Open-Source Dung Pile Collective (O.S.D.P.C.), the 2nd largest community dung pile in the nation and the only one of its kind that welcome's feculence from those who lack the proper licensure.

Scratching one's head over the giant Scientology center outside the University of Texas.

Going to Sixth Street, which has bars and clubs. It is improper to refer to what one will do on Sixth Street; one simply "goes to Sixth Street".

Attending SXSW, a laid-back, grassroots music festival that can be properly enjoyed for the trivial fee of a couple of hundred dollars.

Journeying to the Enchanted Isle in the center of Town Lake to sing along with the world's largest singing penis sculpture.

Driving, even if one has nowhere to go. A Travis County law exemption allows toddlers to start driving at the age of 24 months and get a feel for the roads.

Austin Heroin Festival

Began in 1967, the Annual Austin Heroin Festival attracts heroin fans and addicts from around the world to celebrate the magicaldrug and increase public awareness of its versatility and need for legalization. The festival, held in Austin, Texas, every year from September 2-6, draws an average attendance of nearly 120,000 people!! Not that much rly.

A fun-loving festival-goer "shoots up."

Attendees enjoy carnival rides (such as the Leaning Wall, the Spacey Needle, and the Body Bag Flume), vendors, and exhibitors, who offer the finest heroin from around the world, as well as a peek into the future of heroin production and consumption for weed as well. Local jam bands also contribute to the festive atmosphere, usually playing a bunch of random songs for the entire duration of the event.

Some Knowledge and Facts

Trivia sections are Shazbot!

The article could be improved by reading it upside-down, or something, I dunno. Did you know it's impossible to lick your own elbow? Unless you're some kind of freak.

It is known as a cool place to live for college students or for those who can secure one of the six annual high-tech vacancies that pay above $2,000,000 a yr.

It can get weirder at night.

The Rest of Austin

A common topographic map of Texas. Blue: Scalding desert. Red: Hills and pre-coastline area. White: Metroplex and sprawling paradise. (The area of Metroplex in western Texas probably represents the Midland-Odessa/Lubbock-Amarillo area. But star is located in the wrong place in Texas.)

East

East Austin is where all crime goes on that part of the city. It is known as the ghetto of Austin. Fun and cool. It is ballin'!!!!

North

Cool, hip and fun place as it keeps expanding like a blob since 2000. Home to many computer offices and nerds. North Austin is also where all crime goes on that part of the city. It is ballin'!!!!

South

West

West Austin is 95% rich people, 4% upper middle class, and 1% middle class. Westlake Hills (Westlake) which is the village dump and a village. The Loop is an infinite loop. Westlake has 99% rich people, 1% upper middle class. The annoying infinite Loop 360 is there. Same thing goes for West Austin They are very annoying.

The annoying Infinite Infinity Loop 360.

It is ballin'!!!!

The damn annoying hills!!!

As "a 4-lane depressed median arterial with at-grade signalized intersections." In 2001, the average daily traffic was 225,000 spaceships, warpstars, vehicles at the most traveled point at infinity. Loop 360 is a scenic highway winding through the hills of West Austin. The road had too many damn hills!!!!!! It has so many damn annoying hills!!!!

“Oh NO! I'm lost on Loop 360!! Damn loop. I'm in the capital of Texas”