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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

It’s inevitable that when out getting shitfaced, bros are going to meet new people, whether it’s a friend of a friend, or just some random girl you meet at the bar. Often times you will be on the verge of blackout but chances are you are going to remember talking to this new “friend.” However, if you are a bro, the next time you see this person, you better not fucking acknowledge their presence. Why is that you ask? Because there is a good chance that the other person was blacked out and by no means do you want to initiate any conversation whatsoever where a girl doesn’t remember you. So, instead, you act as though you were so blacked out that you have no recollection of ever meeting that person. Not only will you look cool as shit for getting Blackout drunk, but you will also convey the idea that the girl is not worth your time – and girls love that shit. If you must, when meeting the person for a second time chime in with “I think we might have met one time when we were drunk” but never offer anything else.

After time you tend to develop drunk relationships where you only talk to certain people when you are wasted. This can be very hard to manage – you do not, I repeat DO NOT want to be the one who breaks the relationship by talking to the person sober. This makes you look needy and like a loser. Instead whenever you see the person around campus or the neighborhood you look the other way or pretend you are getting a phone call and walk quickly past them.

Perhaps the greatest bro move is acting like you don’t even recognize someone you hooked up with the night before. Re-introducing yourself to you make-out partner from the night before is a total bro-move. This makes it look like not only do you get fucked up, but you also hook up with so many chicks that she was not important to you at all, and that is awesome.

Smosh Bear.You're right, I feel like drunk relationships can stem further with, and only with bros. Most likely if you meet a bro who is real tight hammered, they probably are real tight when not hammered.The bras though, don't ever break out of a drunk relationship if that is how you met the bra. Especially if you smashed. No bro wants things getting brawkward. Drunk relationships are the shit. Also I geeked that the fake phone call part. Another great post NYB.

I met some slambitch at a party and introduced myself (because she was pretty hot). She looked at me confused for a second and said "do you seriously not remember me?"

I told her no and she showed me a bunch of pics on her friend's phone of us making out at a party a week earlier. I laughed and told her "I was blacked out that night. But clearly we both had a great time. Wanna go for round two?"

She stormed off pretending to be pissed for a few minutes, but I ended up hooking up with her again that night. What was she going to do - not hook up with me? I'm a fucking Bro. Bitches can't resist that shit.