Andris Biedrins was allegedly caught by a Latvian website receiving some sloppy toppy. The second photo even shows him smoking a cig while his buddy enjoys the company of the young lady on the hood of a car. With that permanently burned in your memory banks, let’s run down the major free agent news post-Steve Nash becoming the best Lakers point guard since Magic Johnson. And no, it fails to include Hasheem Thabeet signing with the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Vying For Jeremy Lin’s Attention

There’s this dude no one wanted to sit beside at lunch. The one girl he was supposed to take to prom dumped him because he wasn’t voted for one senior superlative in the yearbook. Fast forward a year later, the same dude gets a chance to leave home and go make something of himself in a new city developing a completely different outlook on life. The kid’s career path becomes so popular he’s on the front page of every newspaper and website. That same loser who sat beside himself at lunch has now become one of the country’s most recognizable figures. Now the girl who dumped the kid wants him back.

Horrible example, yes. But that kid is Jeremy Lin. The girl who dumped him is the Houston Rockets. That city which embraced him was New York. And now, the Rockets wants Lin to return to the home of Screw as a apart of a four year, $28M deal which probably includes a Hallmark “We’re sorry” card somewhere in the mix. Fret not Knicks faithful, all signs point toward New York matching the offer. Frank Isola of the New York Daily News even says Houston doesn’t expect Lin to be in a Rockets uni next season.

The question for New York remains – if they do indeed match H-Town’s offer – who exactly is the starter? The popular notion is head coach Mike Woodson isn’t exactly enamored with J-Lin’s game and Kidd’s experience and basketball suaveness would work better with someone like Carmelo Anthony and Amar’e Stoudamire (who doesn’t exactly thrive without a good point guard). Even if the Knicks aren’t completely sold on Lin, it’s almost as if they’re backed in a corner to throw him $30M. It’s either that or chance the risk of running out opening day with Jason Kidd and Toney Douglas. I repeat. It’s either that or chance the risk of running out opening day with Jason Kidd and Toney Douglas. Then again, Ray Felton is still out there.

South Beach Found Jesus…Amen

Well. As if the rivalry between Miami and Boston wasn’t already personal, it’s now a blood war. Ray Allen’s decision to join the Miami Heat was Sting deflecting to the Wolfpac.* Or maybe Johnny Damon to the Yankees. Regardless, I actually pulled off a successful wrestling reference. I think. The moment the signing was announcing – by Heat owner Micky Arison of all people – the “loyalty” talk flew around. Loyalty is involved in marriages, the bond between a man and his dog, best friends and maybe a certain make of car someone becomes attached to. Sports? Hell no. I’m just excited to count how many wide open threes result from LeBron passing to Ray out of double teams from the post.

Allen’s choice to join Miami will rub Boston fans the wrong way mainly because of WHO he signed with. And that’s fine. But claiming Ray is every derogatory name under the sun for actually chunking the deuces to Boston is ridiculous despite what Jarrett Jack believes. Especially when taking into consideration Beantown damn near shipped him to Memphis last year. Helping paint storylines for the upcoming season, the dissension goes Ray ultimately decided against the Celtics because of an irreconcilable relationship with Rajon Rondo which may or may not revolve around the fact their jumpshots sit at two completely different ends of the “effective spectrum.” Couple that with Ray pretty much interviewing for the job seconds after Game 7 ended and let’s just say Christmas Day just got a lot more sinister. The sea of boos from Boston faithful will sound like Whitney Houston at the 1991 Super Bowl.** Chances are it becomes my favorite holiday tune behind Boyz II Men’s “Let It Snow.” Speaking of December 25 games, NBA…

Here’s The Christmas Day Schedule For Next Season

12:00 – New York Knicks @ Brooklyn Nets

2:30: – Miami Heat @ Boston Celtics

5:00 – Los Angeles Lakers @ Oklahoma City Thunder

7:30 – Washington Wizards @ New Orleans Hornets (if the Warriors can get national TV time on Christmas, so can the Wiz)

10:00 – Minnesota Timberwolves @ Los Angeles Clippers

Back to Ray Allen and Miami for a second, Pat Riley’s presentation game has now entered organized crime presentation greatness. Described as “incredible” and “sold him in every way,” and combine that with whatever happened to convince LeBron and Bosh to trickle down south in 2010, I’ve finally figured out what goes on in those meetings. Or something like this.

Bonus: No update on Dwight Howard although it seems to be between the Lakers and Nets at this point. However, my “sources” tell me 28 other teams are all serious contenders too.

* – After consulting with David D., it is nothing like Sting joining the Wolfpac. I tried.** – #NeverForget

I can’t hate on Allen at all, man. He’s paid his dues in this league. He lost for *years* with Milwaukee, and it’s obvious that Boston wasn’t going to be able to run with Miami. Celtics were tired out by the end of the Eastern Conference Finals, and that wasn’t even with Miami playing their best ball. With Miami, Allen can play an integral role while still being able to win if he has a bad stretch. That’s essentially what damn near every player wants, I would imagine, especially one at his age. You think a competitor like him is going to want to come off the bench AND not win anymore titles? Hell no, especially near the end of his career.

Ray Allen wants to win – he’s even taking less money for it – and that’s why professionals play the game in the first place. A lot of players would take *more* money and not give a damn about losing. When Allen’s clear decision is based on winning, I can only give him props.