Sex, Love and Relationships

Q&A: Penis Size: Am I Big Enough To Satisfy A Woman?

Posted February 26, 2008

QUESTION: I feel inadequate about my penis. It is around 12 cm. Scientists say that size does not matter and with a penis that is at least 12 cm one can satisfy a woman. Is this really true? Also there are pills that claim to make penises larger. Do they really work?

Yes, yours is a frequently asked question but that does not mean it cannot be asked again.

I can understand your concerns about size, particularly given the large number of jokes in our culture that have to do with penis size. However, the sheer number of the jokes does not make them true.

Average Penis Size

At 12 cm (approximately 4.7 inches), you are certainly within the normal range of length. In studies that look at average length, you are slightly below the average (the average often comes out to be around 5.1 inches or 5.5 inches – but varies by study). Then again, so are a lot of men, or it wouldn’t be an average!

The idea that a man has to be a certain length to please his partner – or as you said, “satisfy a woman” – assumes a few things. It assumes that intercourse is the main way that a woman is pleased, and that is not necessarily the case.

Not The Only Way To Please A Woman

While some women are most excited with, satisfied by or orgasmic via vaginal intercourse, others place a premium on oral sex, hand stimulation or other types of sex play.

It also assumes that longer is better and that is not always true – in fact, men who are much longer than average sometimes write to us, lamenting the fact that they have difficulty finding a partner who can comfortably have sex with them, or who will even agree to have sex with them, given their large size.

Also, if you find a partner who prefers stimulation around the area that some describe as the “g spot” (front wall of the vagina, about 1 or 2 inches inside), well – you don’t need much length to reach or stimulate that spot.

Dr. Debby Herbenick (M.P.H., Ph.D.) is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, Associate Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and author of several books including Sex Made Easy and Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.More posts by this author »