I had an epiphany at the doctor this afternoon about small talk - and how it is often unnecessary and awkward. Situations like breakups, cab rides, strip clubs, airplanes, and exams at the (ahem) lady doctor. Chit chat simply isn't necessary when you both know what's about to happen.

So thank you, Dr. Foley, for being brief. No really, thank you. Small talk with you would have been incredibly awkward, and also, pointless. Even though you kept me waiting for an hour, the fact that the entire exam took less than 10 minutes was, undeniably, what saved you from being on the receiving end of my pissy, gloomy attitude.

Next time can you at least warn me about the intern that will be observing you? Call me conservative, but I usually like to at least meet and shake hands with someone before allowing them to investigate my nether region.