Sunday, December 24, 2006

Home again, home again, jiggity jig

Back from the dark side. Actually, I'd say we safely escaped the dark side sometime around 12:30 PM on Saturday. That's when we left for the safe haven of my hometown.

In the interest of not being too outrageous on the most hallowed of holidays, I'm going to save the tales of the Forced Out-Law Interaction for another day. Seriously, it's just so over the top from what we've experienced with them recently that I'm still unable to talk about it without laughing my ass off. The only part missing from my visit was not seeing my father-in-law nekkid, which I'm sure we were only saved from because we didn't stay at their house. Trust me when I say this is not a sight fit for man nor beast, because I've seen it before. Twice.

The Monkey Man begrudgingly went off to bed at 9 and at 9:05 Santa dumped all his shit in front of the fireplace except for The Big Overpriced Gift which is still currently under construction in the workshop. More on this tomorrow, especially after Monkey Man takes one look at it and then proceeds to play with the $0.99 Hot Wheels we got him and then Joey completely blows a gasket. Fun times, y'all!

We're having my sister, brother-in-law, nephew and his wife over for dinner tomorrow. Ham, some new potato recipe that I'm going to try, spinach au gratin, sauteed apples, and I believe my sister is bringing a pecan pie. Please pray for me that I don't smoke up the house this time with the ham glaze, because it seriously smells like pig ass. And don't even get me started on our two-hour search all over the southern part of Nowheresville for a "fresh ham". At one point I was willing to settle for "Not So Fresh Ham as Long as it isn't Infested by Maggots."

In tomorrow's episode, another Forced Out-Law Interaction as they are coming here to go to my ex-sister-in-law's house to see my niece (another freak story for another time). And, how I'm going to kick Santa's ass because his helpers at the jewelry store didn't get my present in time so now I have nothing to open. Luckily they sent a lovely box of expensive chocolate to appease the beast and a promise that it will be here in time for our anniversary, so I am somewhat satisfied.

To all of you - my friends, my family, my PIM's, my blogging pals - I wish each and every one of you a blessed and happy Christmas. Make sure you enjoy every moment!