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It Be Pirates!!!

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So, to make a very long story short… Some criminal asshole made a duplicate of my credit card, which they then used at a retail store, that shall remain nameless, where a sales associate allowed them to use my card SEVENTEEN times in a row for amounts between 40 and $50, resulting in over $700 in charges. Needless to say, this was both infuriating, and a giant waste of my time to get fixed.

Tracy: “What’s going on with your credit card situation.”

Me: “I’m still working on getting my new card and getting all the charges removed. I filed a police report yesterday.”

Tracy: “Has the store offered to send you anything as a way of restitution since they fucked up?”

Me: “I want more than a gift basket for this bullshit, I want somebody HUNG.”

Tracy: “Honey, we all want someone hung, but I’m pretty sure in lieu of a big dick, you’re just going to settle for a gift basket.”

Yuck. But 2 thought…. Was this a credit card, not debit card? If so you are typically only responsible for the first $50. And I would be asking your credit card company why the transactions were approved. Surely that should have been quickly flagged.

Having worked retail…this is an inside job with the cashier. No one does that many transactions. Also, of the cashier wasn’t in on it, they should be fired for being incompetent anyway. These things suck to fix, glad you’re in the mended end.

LOL! Yes, I know Ryan knew what you meant but Tracy’s interpretation was hilarious. Just what you need, right? I have eight letters on my desk from large companies and the Federal government advising me they lost all of my personal information. They tell me how concerned they are and security is their top priority. Liars! Their bank account isn’t getting raided every other week and they aren’t sharing their social security benefits with 100 non-citizens. If you find one of those thieves, can you let me choke them a little too?

Why am I now worried that you might be a charming serial killer, and I’m about to wind up in a Lifetime Movie, titled “Unwitting Accomplice”, the worst part of which will be that they’ll have Tori Fucking Spelling playing me. 🙂

Oh, and now I’m seeing Arnold Schwartzenegger playing my role and he mispronounces all of my best wisecracks. We’re doomed to obscurity. I think I’ll just go back to heaping scorn on the evil doers and save us the embarrassment. But, I have to admit, it was a nice thought.