You've gone strange on me. And the rest of the world thinks you're strange, too.

Bob

Yeah. You and everyone else. You think...

Doug

Take off. Back to the topic, since apparently I have to do the whole thing. Okay. The reason we're mad, eh, is because, like, we had to go to Toronto to pick up our mom and dad cause their car broke down, and they didn't want to pay a cab since that would take up too much beer money.

Bob

But that's not the reason we're mad, eh?

Doug

Well, it is. I had to drive, so I couldn't have any beer before we left.

Bob

Yeah, so we got there, and...

Doug

Oh, you're finishing my story now?

Bob

Wha? Your story? You didn't even want to do it at first! Maybe we do need rehearsals!

Doug

Get out. Let me finish.

Bob

No way, eh? I'm finishing the story.

Doug

Fine, then! I'm gonna have a beer. Good day.

SFX

beer opening

Bob

Wha? It's not over already, is it?

Doug

Go! There's space left. Just ignore me, eh?

Bob

As always. Okay. So we finally get in Toronto, and there's, like, no parking spaces left at the garage they took the car to. So we, uh, double parked the van on the street.

Doug

I was going to park on the 401...

Bob

That's the big expressway, if you've never been to Toronto.

Doug

Uh, yeah. So there was a traffic jam, and we didn't move for, like, six hours...

Bob

Six hours. Take off. More like 20 minutes.

Doug

Well, it felt like six hours. So there's a traffic jam. And we coulda stopped the van, got out, went to the garage, got our mom and dad, then got back before anyone moved.

Bob

Geez. You hoser. So anyway, we're parked on the road, and when we get back, there's a cop there who says "get the van out of here, or I'm gonna have to press charges".

Doug

Oh, take off! He was not going to press charges! All he did was write up a ticket!

The server with the back issues isn't up for the summer, so, like, you should have saved them or something. They'll be back, uh, when we go back to our fast connection. The links are on the back issues page, but they won't go anywhere. Sorry for all of you using them to play drinking games with, eh?

Good day, eh? NBC is still showing SCTV in the former "Later" timeslot, which is usually Monday to Thursday, 1:35am to 2:05am. Check your listings, and find out when it's on. Who knows what episodes will be on, but maybe we'll be there, eh?

The Comedy Network in Canada is also showing two different syndicated episodes a day, and maybe they're in order, too. Check out the SCTV page and the SCTV News page for more info, eh?

CANADIAN CONTENT CERTIFICATIONTHIS ONLINE NEWSPAPER IS CERTIFIED 100% CANADIAN CONTENT BY THE CANADIAN CULTURAL IDENTITY COMMISSION.

The Hoser

My main page, with news related to a bunch of Canadian comedies, including SCTV and The Red Green Show. There's also sound clips from both of those, plus an online newspaper, The Hoser, "written" by Bob and Doug McKenzie.

Contact Bob

Send me your questions or comments about anything on the site to codorjan@gmail.com. I'll try to reply within a few days of receiving the message, but make sure you tell me what page you're talking about.