laughter.....it's what's for dinner

Today started out RUFF, actually the twilight zone happenings started at about 10pm last night, but whatever, point is, I shoulda known the day was only going to get worse(yet, somehow I didn't....I never do.....*sigh*).This morning I woke up to the dog whining and rubbing herself on MY side of the bed. Uh, excuse me, I love my dog and all but I'm not the one who cares for her. The smell and sight of dog food make me throw up in my mouth(notice I said THROW UP....not just "want to throw up"....actually THROW UP). Totally serious here, can't even walk down the dog food isle in grocery store, but that's a WHOLE nutha' post for anutha' day that includes an intercom announcement of "clean up on isle 8".So anyways, back to my dog losing her mind by thinking that I was going to feed her. I realized that she was coming to me because well, no one else was in the house. Kids were at grandparents and Craig at work in Fl(he's coming home tonight.....yay!). I figured I could at least let her out to go to the bathroom, so I did. In her haste to get outside, her wagging tail knocked over a glass vase I had sitting on the stairs(no, NOT my fault for putting it there, I'm sure someone else is to blame;) Thanks Lilly(that's my dog's name in case you are wondering why I randomly am mentioning a Lilly. I don't even know any Lillys. Well, besides the Lilly on Y&R.....whom I actually don't know). Thanks. I only wish this was the worst of my day.

But OF COURSE it 'aint! I had to be somewhere this morning by 9. I backed the car out of the garage and then remembered that I had forgotten something inside. I jumped out of car and ran back in. Um, here is where you will see A.D.D. at it's best...or worst....whatever. The second I walked in kitchen I noticed dirty dishes in the sink(have I mentioned that I also have O.C.D.?.....and probably a whole bunch of other things that end in D and are attached to disorders, but for now we will only deal with what is obvious to everyone who knows me....including the entire medical field). Of course I had to get those dishes in the dishwasher. You know, in case the house inspector came or something. After I finished, I retrieved the forgotten receipt and went to grab my keys. For 20 minutes I searched HIGH and LOW, freaking out and blaming the dog for eating my keys. Then I remembered my car was running in the driveway. Not even 8:45 in the morning yet. *double sigh* And yet again, IF ONLY this was as bad as it got....*double sigh with a double vodka on the side*

The day went pretty good from there and things were looking bright again. Until about 3pm when I was calling to schedule my "yearly" appointment with my gynecologist office. And I told the nurse I would like to schedule my yearly.........mastectomy. Silence. "Hello?" Silence. Finally "Heidi, what do you mean?" (Uh, like...hello, ALL women get yearly mastectomy's, who are you anyways? An extremely uninformed intern????) Instead: "I haven't had a mastectomy in a couple years and I need to make an appointment"I could bore you with the rest of the conversation that read like a script right out of the "who's on first" skit with Abbott and Castello, but really, do you REALLY need to know anymore? No. No you don't. Trust me, no you don't because when I realized what I had done(and no, I have indeed NOT figured out why, I mean how, I mean WHYYYYYYYYY I would have called a PAP SMEAR a mastectomy.....), I was so utterly mortified that all I could say was "Oh, sorry, I have the wrong number"(out of curiosity what exactly WOULD be the right number to dial for a YEARLY mastectomy.....)

The thing I love most about Summer is color. Specifically in landscaping and flowers. There is nothing pretty or beautiful about Winter here in the South. Hardly anything stays green, even the grass goes dormant, and everything just turns nasty. And then there's the Georgia red clay.....grrrrrrrr;(HOWEVER, Spring and Summer in Georgia are absolutely STUNNING! So stunning that I can look past the gross red clay that I speak of....

Every Spring Craig and I both say that we are just going to plant a little because it takes so much work to keep everything alive and looking good. Every year we fail to keep that goal.Now, for those that don't know us, Craig and I are complete opposites. We like different tv shows, we eat different foods, we talk differently, we have different humor (for some reason he doesn't usually find me funny.....or the trouble that I get myself into. I personally find it down right hysterical at times, but hey, to each their own right?), and so on. I'm sure you get my drift. We are textbook examples of the saying "opposites attract"(btw, who DOESN'T love a good 'ole Paula Abdul tune from time to time?).

ANYWAYS, having said all that, we both LOVE flowers (not sure if you knew where I was going with the whole opposites thing, heck, I wasn't sure, but I feel confident now that it was because I was trying to say that we have at least one thing that we both love to do together! HA!). I admit my obsession with gardening is more recent than Craig's, but either way we now both enjoy flowers/plants and love to grow and care for them in the Summer. Together. But I think I've now driven that point into the ground, so I will scoot on. We still disagree on the colors of them, but I'm sure I don't have to verbally say who wins that argument...

I have to say, Craig is THE MAN when it comes to getting flowers to grow and keeping them alive. He really does have a green thumb. Me? Not so much, I just copy him and then take credit for it;0.

I always like to take pictures at the beginning of Summer and then again at the end of Summer to see the growth. The following are pictures taken from my iphone, so they aren't the best quality, but I wanted to document early Summer.

Before we get to the flowers, I will share why I have a picture of a gas blower (not sure that is what it is called, but I think I've seen Craig dump gas in it, and it kinda smells like gas when it's on). Yesterday I begged Craig to "fire it up" for me because I thought it looked fun! He said no about ten times and I'm pretty sure it was that lucky 11th time that he finally agreed/gave up. Choose your battles I always say, and seriously, was this really a battle worth fighting? *Insert honest confession right here*: Ok, in HINDSIGHT Craig probably should have stuck to his guns.

WHO KNEW how heavy and powerful one of those things were(I mean, I totally didn't think Craig actually meant what he was saying during the first ten no's)??? It was worse than a 150lb dog taking YOU for a walk. I flapped around like a giant bird unable to take off. I was completely being led by the dang blower. Craig saw right away that I was in trouble and tried to get to me. But, it was too late. I blew our brand new Calla lilies right out of the ground. Of course at the time I had no idea what had happened, all I could see was red metal, a black elephant like trunk thing that seemed to be taunting me, and grassy mulch swirling around me like a hurricane. ION:(oh, that's my initials for IN OTHER NEWS. I will use that alot. FYI. For your information.) I now know how Dorothy felt in the Wizard of Oz.

Here's a little of the destruction. Notice the beautiful yellow Calla lilies. That are no more. Last thing I'm going to say about this: Craig should have never let me near that thing. I could have lost my life. Of course this is his fault. Moving on now. Barely alive I might add.

These are our hanging baskets this year. We had them planted kinda different from previous years, so not sure what's going to happen with them, but I will post pictures as they grow.

I LOVE my elephant ears!

Here are my blackberries, blueberries, and raspberries. This is the first year that we have had TONS of fruit from them, and they are AWESOME!

Knockout rose bushes in back yard. They were super tiny last year when we put them in. I am anxious to see how big they will get this Summer.

These are the knockout roses on the side of the house. They started out super tiny three years ago, and now I can't even begin to reach to the top of them.

We have three hydrangeas. This is the first year that this one has bloomed, and they are gorgeous.

Hello, guess who? I've been thinking about givin' the whole blog thing another try. Well, maybe. I mean, it's an idea I've been tossing around. Ultimately I'm unsure of whether or not it's a GREAT idea or not, BUT, the good thing is, since when do I make great decisions daily anyways?? So, here we go. Tryin' it out. The blog that is. But I've already said that, so let's quietly move on.

I guess I should start with why I quit in the first place. Really there are many reasons, but at the top of the list is the fact that I have terrible A.D.D. As in ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER. Big time (just for the record, I am currently on day 6 or 7 without my adderall, so if I jump from one thing to the next or take you on a cute little bunny trail (incidentally, don't ya just love cute little bunnies?....and their trails? Oh, wait...), just push your mental ignore button....).ADD interferes with what seems like everything in my life, and it definitely only gives me the "short term only" choice when it comes to projects/ideas/jobs/creativity... I get bored with things quite fast. Too fast. Currently working on earning the "long term version" choice, but success does not seem to be in my favor. It's HARD! I don't know how people do the same thing day in and day out for years and years and years and years, oh wait, I have A.D.D., not tourettes. Sorry (don't forget about that ignore button....).Also, I'm watching The Voice right now, and I may start to accidentally type lyrics, so keep that i.b. quite close (have I mentioned that I like to abbreviate things? Things that only I would know what they meant? Yet, I will still do it, so pay attention, as in P.A.).

Like I said, there were many reasons for quitting the blog thing. Let's do this bullet point style to avoid the long, drug out A.D.D. induced sentences (not that I even expect anybody will even be reading this! For the 3 of you who are, here we go;)Reasons I quit blogging:-ADD-Overwhelmed with feeling like I had to read EVERY person's blog that left me a comment-Too much time-Women are caddy, and it shows in their blogs (oh, btw, when I quit writing my own blog, I quit reading ALL blogs.....even the ones I loved;()Finally, and probably the number 2 reason I quit:-It seemed like it was becoming a competition. I would get "awarded" this award and that, and then felt pressure to reciprocate. This is not why I started blogging. I originally started blogging to document our life (not caring whether anyone even read it or not) and thought it would be fun to publish someday. Somewhere along the way I took a left turn and then another left turn and then....well, you get the point.

I also started blogging because I enjoy to write. I love to tell a story with a sarcastic, humor filled slant to it, but when you put that online for people who don't know you, and have never even met you to read, you open yourself up to criticism due to their own interpretations of what you write, and what they THINK you must believe or be like in real life, or what they THINK you meant. And, uh, strangers aren't afraid to tell you exactly what they think (I wonder if they DID know me, and knew that I'm not one to generally care what another thought of me, if they would still waste whatever time it took them to write their negative opinion. Probably. Just curious though).Did I say I was going to avoid the long drug out sentences? Oops again. Heidi style. As in not Brittney style. Never mind. Moving on.

So clearly I've left out two other reasons the blog died a slow death. You SO know what I'm about to say. or write. So let's all say it together. Slowly. Just for drama. FFFFFFFAAAAAACCCCCCCEEEEEBBBBBBOOOOOKKKKK, and TTTTTWWWWWIIIIITTTTTEEEEERRRRR.Good job.And really, what is there to say about that anyways? There isn't a person reading this (and yes I know I lost one of the 3 back at Brittney, but for the both of you left....) that doesn't know the pull of one or both of these social media sources. Nuff said. And plus, I have already used up my long ADD induced sentence limit. Well, maybe. Blog entry still not over. I digress. Again.

So, this entry was intended to be a blog about social media. Facebook and Twitter. And my current opinion about them. HOWEVER, I have COMPLETELY lost focus and really have no idea what I was going to say in the first place, or even what my opinion IS, so I need to go to bed. Or wash dishes. Or laundry (you should SEEEEEE THAT pile btw....oh, and I also use abbreviations that everyone should know too. Like btw. Just thought you'd like to know that I sometimes can go with the flow. It's just not my forte).

Well, that pretty much sums it up. TOTALLY not sure what IT is, but look forward to rereading this to see if I can find it!!Here's to hoping I gitchee gitchee ooh la la......oops, couldn't resist. Christina Aguilera. In the background. I.T.B.

(This is what the UPS truck in my neighborhood now looks like after "the incident".....)So I wake up this morning and this is the first email I get. A comment that my MOTHER had left on my previous post. Now, if anyone wants to know where I get my mischievous side....look no further.....it definitely comes from my MOM! Oh yeah she pretends to be so surprised and shocked by my behavior, but then she is constantly prodding and egging on more of it! There is DEFINITELY no doubt where the dingbattyness comes from......don't let her fool you, this could have VERY easily happened to her! The only difference is she wouldn't have written it in a post for the whole world to see!!! (I'm just crazy like that...)

hey guys........just a little story for ya on the side here....today...i SAW it with my own two eyes....yeah, that's right........the UPS man!!!.....i was watching the kids while Heidi was out and he rang the doorbell and we immediately looked out the window.........and i KID YOU NOT........he was RUNNING back to his little get-up.....i seriously mean RUNNING........now, i know at this time of the year they have a zillion deliveries......but hey.......this was different......he was running and put that get-up in gear and was GONE in a flash!.........so i mentioned this to Heidi when she got home.....and of course she was in work out clothing.....and as i saw her little tennis shoes.....and she explained to me the t-shirt she had on wasn't even as long as the shirt she had on today........i was visualizing her without pants........and , oh my word........i just started giggling and couldn't stop........it is even funnier to see her live in her work out clothes and then imagine...MINUS THE PANTS!!!........OMG!........so funny!!!....and Patricia........you are SO right.........Heidi get those books away from the fireplace...and everything else for that matter.......YOU SCARE ME GIRL!

Yeah, THANKS MOM!!!!! Scare? I don't think so. You would LOVE it if my books caught on fire and I had another "story" to tell! So stop trying to act so innnocent here....now the whole world knows where I get it from! Dare I refresh your memory of the time you were CONVINCED that someone was bbq'ing dad to eat him? I'm still traumatized by that moment..........yeah, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree....that's FO SHO!!!

*So just out of curiousity.....how many of you would like to hear THAT story?? I would be more than happy to tell it........come to think of it, this MIGHT be the very moment that my life took the turn that it did......and MAYBE just maybe all of my 'incidents' can be traced back to the traumatizing day that I was told that my dad was being bbq'ed and eaten for dinner!!!!*

So Craig and I almost get a divorce every year when it comes time to put up the tree. I make him string the lights, and of course because he could really care less, he tends to just grab the string and walk around and around the tree with them making our tree look like it's being held hostage or something. I of course make him take them off and start over, screaming explaining to him that they need to be INSIDE the tree and wrapped in and out not just AROUND........which is where the fighting and bickering usually escalates to us throwing ornaments at each other while calling the other names ends up ruining the tree decorating occasion for the entire family. I tell myself EVERY year that I am not going to let it get to me, and then don't ya know I look at the tree after it takes Craig three seconds to string a twelve foot tree with lights, and I can't help myself. I lose it. I've tried been tempted to string HIM up and then plug him in!!Having said ALL that, this year he actually GOT IT RIGHT!! I had been preparing myself all day to remain calm when he would inevitably "bind" our tree with lights expecting to be done, and I was completely SHOCKED and elated to see what a beautiful job he had done this year.Now why in the world did that take him eight years to figure out? Oh well, either way I love our tree, and ornament dodge ball was avoided this year!! (that in and of itself is a Zhouse miracle!!......though I felt slightly cheated when the night went off without me getting to throw even ONE ornament at him. Seemed like traditions were just getting broken left and right......)

I was taking these pictures at night and trying to get pictures of the actual ornaments, but I really couldn't get a good one so I'll just explain them. Carter and Ava L.O.V.E. ornaments. Therefore we have TONS. I am a firm believer in the tree being very fun, memorial, and nostalgic, so EVERY ornament that we have ever received or made goes on our tree every year. In order for me to get my "pretty" in, I incorporate big ornament balls in the colors of my decor, and add giant bows throughout the tree. This way I figure we get the best of both worlds. The kids have the nostalgia of all their ornaments (tacky and beautiful), and I still find a way to tie it in to my decor. We absolutely LOVE our Christmas tree, and the kids just sit and stare at it daily.

This cute little snowman was a gift from Carter. Every year his school holds a "Christmas shop" where the students can purchase discounted items for their family. Carter absolutely ADORES this tradition, and is sooooo excited to shop on his own and purchase gifts. Last week he brought his gifts home, and he just couldn't bare for us to wait until Christmas to open them up. I am so glad that we didn't wait because I love the cute snowman decoration that he picked out for me. I asked him where he thought I should put it, and he came up with this location all by himself. He was so proud and of course my heart melted watching him look for the perfect place. I think he chose a WONDERFUL location, and therefore will be placed there for years to come!!!!

Another tradition that I started last year is displaying all of our Christmas books by the fireplace. I actually put these books away for the rest of the year and only get them out at Christmas. Displaying them encourages us to read them nightly, and the kids LOVE it!To the left is our Christmas basket that I keep our Christmas cards that we receive in.

Yesterday we had the BEST time with our long time best friends the Dovers. We started the day by going to Drew's basketball game. It was so cute, and of course as always Drew was hilarious with his antics and looks he gave us while "on the court". (you have to know Drew to know how funny he is, and if you DO know him, you can only imagine how funny he was to watch yesterday!!)Anyways, Robin and I decided that we were going to start a new Christmas tradition this year with the kids. Instead of the kids buying gifts for eachother, we let the kids each pick out a Christmas ornament for the other and yesterday after the game they painted and signed the ornaments and then gave them to eachother! It was soooo cute to see them working so diligently and carefully on their special gifts.

Above Drew is painting a reindeer ornament for Carter......yes the leg broke off a couple minutes after this picture, but that's what GLUE was made for!!! ha! (plus it just adds character and a memory!)

Here Ethan is painting the plane ornament for Carter. He took so much time on it. Precious!

Here is Carter's Santa for Ethan. I have to say that he was really trying hard, and he did a fabulous job!

Here is Ava's snowflake for Ethan. She painted it white, and then put glitter on it!

Okay the SECOND part of our new yearly tradition is to make gingerbread houses together. I think between four kids, frosting, and tons of candy, we MIGHT have made the biggest mess EVER!! BUT, it was tons of fun and it was my personal favorite part of the day.

Aaaawwwwww........

And TA DA! Here are the kiddos with their new ornaments. The kids had fallen asleep on the way home last night because it was late, but when we got home and tried to carry them to bed, they woke up and we couldn't get them BACK to bed until we hung the ornaments on the tree. So the new tradition was a complete success, and we had a fabulous day!!