PERFECT! The Onion wins the Internet with hilarious ‘story’ about where Joe Biden has been hiding

Because deep down we all could see Joe Biden being in just this place and doing just these things. Pretty sure the image is what sells it … hopefully off to the side his 1979 TA is sitting with the t-tops out, Lynyrd Skynyrd blaring.

Sources confirmed that the bearded, shaggy-haired Biden, who withdrew from public life four months ago, was initially startled to see Perez, dropping the bird carcass he was de-feathering and uttering “ah shit” when he recognized the newly elected head of the Democratic Party.

“How the fuck did you guys find me?” said Biden, flicking a lit cigarette into the swamp before wiping his brow with the bottom of his faded Merit cigarettes tank top. “I was really hoping I’d seen my last federale pencil pusher.”