Last month, I talked about the family system and how it can be harsh and uncaring as a system. And while that remains true, there is also a huge amount of love and loyalty within each family system.

And that loyalty and love can be expressed in many, many ways. Usually, however, family members express it by being “like” or similar to their parents. This extends into all areas of life, up to and including the amount of money we subconsciously allow ourselves to have or make.

Do not earn more money than Daddy.

That’s actually a common rule. It can even be one of those family rules passed down without actually talking about them.

By being like Daddy (or Mom), we show our love and loyalty.

And thus, earning a massively larger amount of money than either of them, or just your father if he brought in the money can feel like an act of betrayal or unlove.

Which means that subconsciously, we do everything to reduce the amount of money we earn or have, to reclaim the loyalty and love. It’s almost an automatic process, an expression of the family system that “demands” unchanging balance.

So it’s possible we get this great-paying job, or do really well in our business – and then suddenly, it all goes away, and leaves us with what we used to have before.

Family System Dynamics in action

And it’s not even a conscious choice. However, it is a pattern visible to the trained eye.

And now that you know, you can probably see it for yourself, maybe in your own family, maybe with friends.

Once again, we can use EFT to shift this – because there are many, many ways to express love and loyalty. You can choose to do it in a different way than just sticking to the same level of income. Your wonderful mind will show you a way.

Let’s tap:

Even though I have learned to express my love and loyalty by sticking to the same income level as my Dad, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose to show this love and loyalty in a much better way.

Even though one of our family rules is to never earn more than Dad, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose to know that it’s okay to have more money and still love and be loved in my family.

Even though it is common in my family to express our love and loyalty by being just like our parents, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now give myself permission to discover a new and much more satisfying way of expressing my love and loyalty for my parents.

Your Turn:
Have you discovered a pattern in your life about money and your parents?
How did that feel?
What happened while you were tapping?
And finally – in which area do you want to grow this month?Would love to hear from you!

Image Source: F. Moebius

PS: My newsletter contains a full tapping round to go with my blog posts, so you can start getting results. Sign up through the form on the upper right hand corner, and receive that tapping round plus occasional special offers. If you’re on a mobile and can’t see the sidebar, you can sign up through this link: Newsletter Sign-up.

We have explored beliefs about money and rich people. Now we’ll take the Money Mindset to yet another level: Family System Dynamics, or systemic family constellations.

Let me quickly cover the basics:

Each family is a little system in itself. And that system has its own rules. But there are three basic laws that apply to every family.

Every family member belongs to the family, irrevocably. (Even the ex.)There is a certain order to the family members.There has to be a balance of giving and receiving.

Now, one of the biggest fears that every person has is to be kicked out of the family system – even if that is against the rules. In fact, being ostracized by one’s family is a death sentence for children. That’s why children always and quite automatically adjust to whatever rules exist in a family, spoken or unspoken. We will always, always do our best to fit in.

Now imagine what happens when one of the family rules says:

If you want to be one of us, you have to earn a certain level of money. No more, no less.

Boom. Trapped.

Of course, this is just a belief, but it’s usually hidden so deeply that it’s hard to detect – unless you know about this kind of dynamic.

So think about your family. I expect that you’ll find most of the family members (and uncles and aunts etc.) have a certain life-style and level of affluence. Some may have more and some may have less, but not by a lot.

And then there might be that uncle who is always broke and who everyone makes fun of. His miserable life is used as a warning, too: “Better do what we do and say, or you’ll end up like Uncle Angus.”

And maybe, just maybe, there is a rebel who earns a lot more. And at a guess, your family doesn’t speak well of her. “Oh, we no longer talk to her. She’s so arrogant, and she never helps us out.”

Of course, there is the rule that every family member belongs, and the system doesn’t react well to someone being cast out – but that rule is so deep most people are not aware of that, either.

So the unspoken threat is there: Stay in a certain income bracket, or face our wrath.

What can you do if you want to have more money than that?

You release the limiting belief, and remember that no matter what, you belong to the family system. They can’t kick you out. And with that energy shift, the whole system will shift, as well.

I use EFT to do that heavy lifting.

Even though my family has a rule about the amount of money members can make, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose to know deep inside that they can’t kick me out even if I make a lot more money.

Even though I learned that my family members live at a certain level of affluence, and I have tried hard to stick to that rule, I’m still totally okay, and I now give myself permission to break that rule and still be a part of my family.

Even though I learned that only a certain level of income is acceptable in my family, and I have tried to stick to that, I’m still totally okay the way I am, and I now give myself permission to become rich and still be a member of my family.

Your Turn:
Did you find the level of your family’s accepted income?
How did that feel?
What happened while you were tapping?
And finally – in which area do you want to grow this month?Would love to hear from you!

Image Source: F. Moebius

PS: My newsletter contains a full tapping round to go with my blog posts, so you can start getting results. Sign up through the form on the upper right hand corner, and receive that tapping round plus occasional special offers. If you’re on a mobile and can’t see the sidebar, you can sign up through this link: Newsletter Sign-up.

The most famous line of Queen Marie Antoinette was this one: “Well, let them eat cake!”

She is supposed to have said this when told that the poor people were going hungry because they had no bread. There is no official record, however.

Yet even today, this expression is the most blatant illustration of the kind of ignorance living in luxury can produce, a complete detachment from the world most people live in.

And it is true that simply throwing money at a problem to make it go away is a solution most “normal” people do not have.

Funny enough, I was once told that if something could be solved by spending money, it is not a problem.

That’s another instance of the kind of arrogance rich people can develop – since not having the money to throw at problems is THE true problem behind most suffering of less fortunate people.

Of course, we do not want to become that kind of ignorant person.

Which could be another limiting belief, causing you to self-sabotage any steps towards creating more financial abundance. We do not want to pay for that with ignorance, do we?

On the other hand, maybe there is no reason to worry. If you’re reading this blog, you have plenty of experience of life as a non-rich person. With luck, you’ve always had enough money for your daily life. And you probably had or have friends with less who taught you about life without enough money.

This in turn creates an understanding of life that people lack who have grown up in a luxury environment.

There is little danger of you becoming ignorant even if you gain wealth. And there are several celebrities who remember their humble roots – look at Bill Gates, for example, and how he works in his foundation to solve medical problems. Or how the Prince of Wales runs his organic farms.

If that isn’t enough to reassure you, here’s some tapping.

Even though rich people are incredibly ignorant and arrogant, and I’ll never want to become that kind of person, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose to know that I can be rich and caring at the same time.

Even though I hate that incredible ignorance and arrogance some rich people display, and I will never, ever become that kind of person, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now give myself permission to be rich and compassionate.

Even though rich people are so ignorant and arrogant that it makes me sick, I’m still a great person, and I now choose to become a rich author who is not arrogant at all.

Your Turn:
Who is the most ignorant and arrogant person you know?
How does this person make you feel?
What happened while you were tapping?
And finally – what are you creating right now?Would love to hear from you!

Image Source: F. Moebius

PS: My newsletter contains a full tapping round to go with my blog posts, so you can start getting results. Sign up through the form on the upper right hand corner, and receive that tapping round plus occasional special offers. If you’re on a mobile and can’t see the sidebar, you can sign up through this link: Newsletter Sign-up.

This young man caused the death of four people in a drunk driving accident. The judge sent him to in-house therapy rather than jail, giving him a 10 year probation. The reason behind this was that the kid was raised in such a way by his rich parents that he never learned to be responsible for his actions, and that he was suffering from “Affluenza”. And thus he needed therapy to learn how to be a responsible person. Except that he and his mother then fled to Mexico.

It made quite a stir, but it also illustrates a belief that many of us have: Rich people raise bad kids. Or spoiled kids. Entitled kids.

In fact, here in Germany, we have a saying about family businesses:

The founder builds it, the son stabilizes it, the grandson squanders it.

And maybe it is true that having seemingly unlimited amounts of money, and using it to “deal” with problems could create a belief that rules do not apply.

Of course, this doesn’t have to happen. I have listened to a millionaire talk about his kids, and how he teaches them to make their own decisions and live with the consequences. One of his daughters decided to go for an apprenticeship with a painter – and that was perfectly okay for him. She didn’t get any bonuses.

I’m sure his kids will turn out all right, because he put a lot of thought into raising them.

So maybe, this is just another limiting belief that could hold you back. Because I’m sure that if you have kids, you want them to become good, successful people, as well.

And being rich doesn’t mean you “have” to spoil them.

Here’s the tapping:

Even though it’s very clear that rich kids are spoiled rotten and turn into horrible people, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I’m now open to the possibility that maybe this happens because of the parents and not because of the money.

Even though I have learned that all rich kids are horrible, spoiled and entitled, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I’m now open to the possibility that this is not a law of nature.

Even though I am worried about my kids and want them to turn out well, and that’s possibly why I’ve refused to become rich on some level, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose to become rich and still raise wonderful kids.

Your Turn:
What do you think about spoiled kids?
What does being rich do to families?
What happened while you were tapping?
And finally – what are you writing right now?Would love to hear from you!

Image Source: F. Moebius

PS: My newsletter contains a full tapping round to go with my blog posts, so you can start getting results. Sign up through the form on the upper right hand corner, and receive that tapping round plus occasional special offers. If you’re on a mobile and can’t see the sidebar, you can sign up through this link: Newsletter Sign-up.

An anchor chain on the 300-foot mega-yacht, […], has destroyed almost 14,000 sq.ft of reef […]

And of course, we all remember the story of Cecil, the Lion, even though that’s been a while, too. And sadly, there are many other stories like it.

Those are the big, singular events making the news. Most damage is done by living a typcial luxury life, however.

Rich people tend to drive big cars, to travel often and far by plane, possibly hunt big game, have huge homes and gardens in arid areas that need lots of water, play golf, and they have many luxury items and food imported to them. Simply because they can. Rich people are the driving force behind poaching, and extinctions, as well.

Now, this may be called the force of market, but underlying these actions is quite often a wish to show off and display one’s wealth. That mega-yacht mentioned above? The owner has a second, even bigger one.

And many ways of displaying wealth are actually hurting the environment, nature and our home, Earth.

Do you want to be a person who hurts the Earth because they are rich?

Most people would say no. And mentally that means saying no to being rich: I do not want to become such a wasteful person. Continue reading →

For now, we have looked at personal beliefs about money as such. Today, we move into another level of beliefs – those about being rich. Because that’s what most of us dream of, right? We want financial independence, want to have enough money for a nice home, a garden, vacations, and maybe, just maybe work much less.

It’s such a dream: Sit at the beach or under palm trees, with a book or your smartphone in hand and just enjoy life. Sip a cocktail every now and then, feel the gentle, warm breeze on your skin, maybe chat with a friend… bliss.

And just to trigger that level and system of subconscious thoughts and beliefs about being financially independent, I’m going to put this sentence here:

I’m rich, rich, rich!

Read it out aloud to yourself and watch your belief system react. It can be fascinating. We all have lots and lots of inherited beliefs about rich people. Continue reading →

This is a belief I have encountered several times. It’s very often held by people who have experienced insecurity. They do not trust in money, or the fact they could hang on to it. So they spend it the moment they have it, on anything.

Alternatively, in order to avoid the pain of losing all that money (possibly again), they avoid even making it. Often, they have barely enough to survive. But that’s still “better” than making money and then losing it.

It is a bit of a twisted logic, obviously, but that’s how many safety programs function.