Along with the penis enhancements and breast implants, Juarbe also purchased furniture and motorcycles, said police.

Juarbe pleaded guilty in Lehigh County to 42 counts of theft and forgery this week and could face a maximum sentence of 246 years.

The sentence seems a bit rigid when you compare Juarbe’s crimes to, say, those of former Pennsylviania state Sen. Vince Fumo’s crimes. Juarbe is alleged to have stolen $88,000 and could easily spend the rest of his life in prison for it, while Fumo was convicted of stealing millions from charities and taxpayers and only got four-and-a-half years.

And there were never any reports that Fumo tried to buy anyone a bigger penis. Selfish, Mr. Senator. Selfish.