Wednesday, 8 February 2012

The Crohnic Boom

Due to my condition (at least I think that's the reason..), lots of people talk to me about what happens at their rear end.
It's like I've opened up a can of worms in being vocal about my disease, and now that the floodgates have opened, I seem to spend chunks of most days trying to establish what may be causing people's toilet troubles.
Having Crohn's in no way makes me an expert on these matters, however it gives me a damn sight more knowledge than I probably ever would have liked.
I've always hated talking about anything to do with bowel movements. The thought of actually passing wind and someone else having the misfortune to hear it, well that didn't even bear thinking about.
I still don't favour 'farting' in public. Who does? (Answer: 99.9% of men). I don't even like the word 'fart', or 'pump' or anything else related to it. Basically I'm a backside-prude.
I feel quite happy now though, that people want to tell me about their own issues. Although could you wait until after I've eaten my lunch? Thanks.
Its nice to think of yourself as a person someone can talk to openly, someone they think of when they have an issue most people would shy away from talking about.
The thing is, everyone does it. Everyone HAS to do it or they would surely become a big bouncy ball of gas and yukky stuff that no one wants to deal with.
The doctors and nurses who want to help you need to know about your bum-stuff, thats why they fire questions at you about your stools; describe it: shape? size? texture? nationality? - so if you don't try and get over your beetroot faced embarrassment they won't be able to help you the best they can.
So, if like me, you struggle to chat about your cheeks, or rant about your rear end, please at least try. Realise that it's HUMAN NATURE and nothing the person sitting next to you probably hasn't experienced themselves in the privacy of their own bathroom.
I'm a lot happier in sharing now, possibly a little too much at times.. And would encourage everyone to do the same.
Just pick your moments; mealtimes are a no-no, as are weddings, funerals and first dates. After that, blether to your arses content ;)