Archive for January 22nd, 2012

Okay, so I was never much of a damsel-in-distress-waiting- for-a-knight-in-shining-armor kinda gal. Even as a child I was more interested in fighting for justice than I was dressing my dolly. And though, as an adult, I consider myself a pacifist, my idea of a “chick flick” is, in fact, an action/suspense/thriller film where the protagonist is a sassy and buff babe specially trained to do nothing more than kick some serious bad guy booty. I almost feel a kinship with the characters as I often consider myself a warrior queen battling the forces of evil on a daily basis. As I watch a television show where a female agent gets all Krav Maga on some gangbanger’s butt, I can relate. Sometimes I feel like I’m blocking punches all day long. And how about the movie where a fictional character from a popular video game escapes the claws of really big hairy monsters by doing slow motion somersaults followed by a back flip all the while protecting a sacred artifact from a ruthless and greedy ego-maniac fixated on stealing it for personal gain.

Can Malibu Barbie do that? I don’t think so.

Ooh! Ooh! And the new recently released feature film (that will most probably be available on DVD next week) where a real mixed martial arts maven plays a black ops super soldier who is double-crossed and, apparently, must be eliminated to ensure some nasty government mucky-muck doesn’t get indicted for treason. Yeah. I feel like I occasionally have to do leg sweeps to overpower those big bad guys who mistake my small stature and soft demeanor for weakness. Do not be fooled. I am a bad-ass; a force to be reckoned with.

Then one day I realized there was a mouse in my house. I let out a blood-curdling shriek and landed on the couch where I remained in a fetal position for a very long time.