The (Deaf?) Genie
The New Sofa
Sharon loved her life. She lived in a beautiful apartment. She enjoyed
her job. She had everything she needed. Everything except for a sofa.
The sofa she had was old and worn out. All the cushions had huge
rips in them. The cat had scratched all the wood work. It was even hard
to tell what the pattern was in some areas. Sharon would have bought a
new couch, but she was saving up for a trip. All her life she had wanted
to go to Australia. Now she had the chance. A new sofa wouldn't stand in
her way.
One night, Sharon was excited about her trip. She dialed up on the
internet and loaded up the browser. She was searching for information
about Australia. One site that appeared in the search results caught her
interest. It seemed to not have anything to do with Australia. She
clicked on it to see why the search engine found it.
She was right. The site had nothing to do with Australia. But
it was an interesting site. It was the "Wish Site." Supposedly when you
click on the wish link, a genie appears to grant your wish. Humoring
herself, she clicked on the link.
Low and behold, a genie did appear. He looked like an old man,
but hazy. "What is your wish, my master?"
"Wow. It worked. Are you a real genie?" she asked.
"Of course. What do I look like?" the genie answered. "You get one
wish."
"Just one? Why not three?"
"Inflation."
Sharon thought for a minute. Her eyes caught sight of the old
sofa. "I wish for a new couch," she said.
"As you wish," the genie said clapping his hands.
Suddenly Sharon felt awkward. Her clothes didn't fit right. She
looked down to adjust them when she noticed why. The clothes were the
same. SHE was different. Her hands were now paws. Her feet had burst
out of her shoes. Brown fur covered all of her body. Even her tail! She
hopped to the mirror in her bedroom and looked at herself. She was a
kangaroo!
The genie followed her in the bedroom. "Do you like your pouch?" he
asked.
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More Time
Bill was a typical nerd. He wasn't good at sports. He had a
lovely collection of pocket protectors. And his eyesight was so bad, that
he had to wear almost inch thick glasses.
One day he was surfing the internet (because that's what nerds
do.) He stumbled upon an interesting site. "Wish Site?" he said to
himself.
He browsed the site and discovered that a genie would grant him a
wish. He quickly clicked on the "wish" link. In a puff of smoke, a genie
appeared. An old genie. He sure wasn't Barbara Eden.
"What is you wish, my master?" the genie asked.
"Hum. Let me think," Bill said pondering his dream come true. "I
wish to be strong."
"As you wish," the genie said clapping his hands.
Bill felt a tingle throughout his body. He looked himself over
and saw a muscular body instead of his normal one. "Wow! I feel great!
Now for my next wish."
"Wait. You only have one," the genie said. "But, since that was
an easy wish, I'll let you make another."
"Gee, thanks. I wish to be...," he trailed off. What could he
wish for?
"Hurry up. I have other customers," the genie said.
"In a minute or two," Bill said.
"As you wish," the genie said clapping his hands.
"But I..." Bill cut off when he felt another tingle through his
body. He felt very different. He looked down at himself and saw why. He
had the legs of an animal. His toes were cloven hooves. A skinny tail
with a tuff of hair at the end was sticking out from his ripped pants.
His hands were the same except a little hairier. Then he noticed that
something was blocking his vision. He reached up and felt of his new
muzzle. He ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. A bulls face
looked back at him. He had the head of a bull!
The genie came in the bathroom. Bill glared at him. "But, I
didn't wish for anything!" he snorted.
The genie scratched his head. "Oh? Didn't you say that you
wished to be a minotaur, too?"
----------------------
Starving
Jim looked around his dorm room. "Nothing!" he shouted to no one.
He was starving and he didn't have any food in his room. He didn't have
any money. His parents were sending him a check in the mail, but it
hadn't arrived yet. And on top of that, all his friends had gone home for
the weekend. No one was around that had any snacks.
"Man! I'm starving!" he said as he plopped in his computer chair.
Having nothing else to do he browsed the internet. One site caught his
eye. "Wish Site" it was called.
Curious, he clicked to see what it was about. "Wow," he said. "I
could get a wish granted." He clicked on the link.
Suddenly an old-looking genie appeared in his room. "What is your
wish, my master?"
His stomach taking control of his mouth Jim said, "I wish for a
feast."
"Sorry, master. I can't grant you that wish. You see, I hate
wasting food. I don't want to conjure up a room full of stuff, and you
can't eat it all. But, I will let you wish for one item at a time."
"Ok," Jim said. "I wish for you to make me a Whopper." He held
out his hands to receive his sandwich.
"As you wish," the genie said clapping his hand. "I guess you
like science fiction."
"Huh?" Jim asked. Then a strange feeling passed through his body.
He looked at his hands waiting for the burger. Instead, he saw large
black claws pushing their way out the ends of his already fur covered
hands. The long white fur didn't stop at his hands. It was all over his
body. Speaking of his body, it got larger. His head (which had two
curved horns now) reached the ceiling in not time. His feet ripped
through his socks. Three largely-clawed toes were on each foot. He bent
down to look in the little mirror on his closet door and saw a monster.
Jim turned to the genie and said, "What happened?" Well, that's
what he tried to say. It came out in growls.
"I hope you like being a wompa," the genie said. "'The Empire
Strikes Back' has always been my favorite."