New Yorkers Traumatized Over Earthquake Moving Doors

New York, NY:Tragedy literally rocked the city of New York today, as countless victims were forced to endure the aftershock of an earthquake.

Re-enactment of actual events.

The 5.9 magnitude quake originating from Mineral, Virginia sent a rippling effect through the east coast. Such traumatic events included open office doors moving and picture frames shifting, terrifying workers beyond consolation.

“My door started slowing swinging open for close to 35 seconds. How could I possibly concentrate with that going on?” stated IT analyst Chad Pritchard.

Many could not, as buildings in the greater metropolitan area were evacuated.

Others were oblivious to the earthquake until hours later. “I was in a meeting with our office manager, analyzing how to hit our target profit,” explained local New Yorker Paul Emmerlan. “Suffice to say, I shrugged the earthquake off as a minor anxiety attack.”

While the earthquake itself may be over, relief efforts are being planned to help stabilize door, straighten picture frames, and possibly check on the rural areas of Richmond, Virginia.

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Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.