So, I'm out of the country right now, but when I return to New York, why don't we get together for coffee and talk about this? I'm serious. Clearly you have a lot of great ideas, and I'm game to listen to them - but not over email.

I really hope you'll consider it. (And yes, I'll keep you anonymous, and not print anything about us meeting, if you'd like.)

xjulia

I have been trying to figure out how to respond to this. It struck me as presumptuous that she would suggest coffee. Is she assuming I live in New York? Or is she wanting to find out where I live by suggesting that, whereas if I lived elsewhere I would say so when asked such a question? It also struck me that she offered to hear my ideas, but in person and not via email... while offering to keep me anonymous, when I have redundantly let the world know that I would eventually be revealing who I am (like it matters?), on my own terms. It comes off like, let me get your ideas and take the credit for it. Or, maybe she wants to actually hear what I have to say? But at this point it isn't so much about trying to help them.

Mary has turned a casual dislike for her into "a political statement, almost", because her recent statements about so many things have really offended me and pissed me off to the degree that I want nothing to do with anything that will help her. Even indirectly.

If I did talk to Julia, it would be more to ask questions I want some answers to than anything else.

I haven't yet replied to this email. I'm not sure what to say or how to say it. I will reply. And I'm sure in the interim she will see this. I will be sure to clue you in when I figure out how to handle this. In the meantime, I'm open to any suggestions from you guys as far as what to say. And if anyone has some REALISTIC questions they would like asked, email me with them. That way if I do end up talking to her, I can cover it. This doesn't mean telling me to ask her things like did she get a nose job, why does she always use the same pose, etc. That is not the type of conversation I care to have.

Sorry, but "ideas"? What does she mean by that? Isn't the point of this site to criticize her. What would be the point of meeting up with her? Oh, I know:

This is a classic Julia move. She always offers "coffee" meetings to her blog critics (like at Gawker) and then she attempts to charm them into becoming her pawns. She is hoping that by having you meet her (THE GREAT JULIA!!!) that you will be starstruck enough to become nice to her. I have a few friends who used to work at Gawker and she has used them just like this. It is a classic, and probably smart move, because it is hard to be mean to someone you have met in real life.

That said, don't do it! What ideas do you want to give her? I don't mean that in a mean way. I just mean that you criticize her and I don't see Julia being someone who wants to seriously take ideas from a detractor.

I would just email her back with something simple like "I don't live in NY, sorry." or if you do live in NY or something just like "I'm a little too busy with work right now to be meeting up. I think the emails are working fine." Just don't go ranty on her or she will see it as a victory for stirring you up.

For the record... my criticism has been more directed towards Mary than Julia, though of late Julia has kind of injected herself into that because of things like the Google cheating etc. that have made me lose some of my respect for her and some of the affection I had for her. Long time readers know I always had a soft spot for her. Until recently. Though I'm not sure I really believe she wants my ideas either...