It’s been a busy year for us here at Murdered by ROBOTS and, unfortunately, our website has suffered because of it, resigned to a cold cruel fate usually reserved for red-headed step children, neglected and unloved and buried neck deep in a pool of filth. While we were off enjoying misadventures, this page was all but forgotten, collecting digital dust. Many of you, our loyal followers, have held your breath awaiting news of our latest shenanigans and many of you, alas, have died waiting. And while we mourn the loss of those most hardcore fans, we can only chalk things up to Darwin’s principle of natural selection and move forward. Since our last update, Murdered by ROBOTS and our fellow denizens of the Screaming Mime Theater have been hard at work spreading our gospel of God awful and creating (dis)content to entertain the ever drooling masses.

Our music has continued to feature regularly on our favorite terrestrial radio program, 96.5 WSLR’s infamous Lumpytunes!, hosted by the Head Lump, Rob Demperio. We’ve recorded a slew of new songs including our first commercial single, “Respect Existence”, now available for sale on iTunes and Amazon, and appeared on Hal McGee’s Big Florida Noise Compilation this past June. We will also be featured on the soon to be released sound project from Polish based Splitterkor Rekords Dziwko (SKRD) titled “What is Noise For You?”, along with fellow underground acts including Ninja McTits and SATANOID! In further international news, MbR was recently interviewed for Canadian Radio by indie outlaw and Soundcloud legend Kyle Nickum, host of Hipster’s Paradise on Phantom 103.3 out of Bathurst, New Brunswick, the home of eclectic music for the Great White North! And when we weren’t spreading like cancer across international borders, we were busy shooting new music videos with the likes of the always alluring Mandy Taylor, and conquering the local Alternative charts on ReverbNation where, for eight glorious days this past month, we held the number one spot in Sarasota on a list containing bUG eYED mONSTERS, and friend and former collaborator Nacho Steppinstone.

On our podcasting front, Two Guys Watching Porn has continued to redefine the meaning of TMI as hosts Rob and Chris lower the parameters of decent social intercourse to near Marinas Trench depths with their dull witted, ill informed and often highly inflammatory discussions involving everything from Kate Upton’s boobs and robot sex toys, to vomiting parasites and End Time prophesy! The boys even caught the eye (and ear) of the fine folks at TeamSkeet.com, who were kind enough to send us a box of free swag containing stickers, t-shirts and DVDs. Since our last update a full 17(!!) episodes have sullied the Internet’s virtual airwaves, bringing our grand total of listens for our combined podcasts to 8,755 (including 4,578 downloads). A full episode guide of the last 17 shows is coming soon!

When last we posted, our homegrown horror host web series, Oliver’s Twisted Bargain Basement Midnight Movie Stoner Friendly Freak Show, had just premiered on YouTube, as well as other video hosting outlets like Daily Motion, Vimeo, and (on a goof) Porn Hub. Since that debut, two more episodes featuring Oliver, his faithful sidekick Horse Head Ed, show mascot Shadow Stevens, and announcer Albert Fish have been released. Many of Screaming Mime Theater’s favorite video vixens have also appeared, including Dayana Valentino, Melissa Dawson, and Kara 0300. The show has featured shout-outs to one of our favorite horror hosts, Dark Hours Theatre’s very own Uncle Edward, who has kindly returned the favor on two of his programs, Uncle Edward’s Trailer-Rama and the latest episode of The It Came From the Basement Show. We thank Edward for all of his encouragement and unwavering support! As of this writing, OTBBMMSFFS has received a whopping 3,452 views (though it begs mentioning that 2,308 of those views were from confused and very frustrated porn surfers).

Finally, our reach has oozed into the world of social media, with Facebook pages for all of our major projects available for fans looking to interact with us and keep up to date with our activities. Please click each of the following links and, if you are entertained by what you see, don’t hesitate to hit the “like” button to receive all of our latest news!

scha·den·freu·de: enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others. Shameful joy.

Perhaps it’s insecurity… Or deep seeded malice… Or, perhaps, I just curiously lack what some people define as a human “soul”. Whatever the reason, I love a train wreck! Not actual wrecks involving locomotives (though, I suppose, those are pretty cool too) but train wrecks in the sense of disgraced celebrities, those fallen stars unceremoniously knocked from their high and mighty perch who crash and burn in a blaze of drug and booze filled glory for the collective joy of bottom-feeders like me who live vicariously through their disgrace. Mel Gibson was awesome, but never so much so as the day he drunkenly called his arresting officer “sugar-tits” and railed against the Jews, or demanded his ex blow him while screaming into a cell phone (and while being recorded for the world to enjoy one psychotic tirade at a time!). And who can forget a frail and dazed Michael Jackson, being carried into a courtroom to answer allegations of child molestation, suddenly breaking into impromptu dance on the top of his limousine while dressed like some type of gay Cap’n Crunch? Celebrities, our modern-day gods of Mount Olympus, stumbling from their pedestal high atop the clouds only to be found masturbating in movie theaters or dipping their chocolate in the wrong person’s jar of peanut butter… These are the moments many of us live for! And nothing feeds my Schadenfreude disease more than the celebrity women who wind up in the gutter, whether it’s a 200 lb Anna Nicole crashing a 13 year old’s bar mitzvah and dirty dancing with the birthday boy, or a postpartum Britney Spears waving un-opened umbrellas at the paparazzi and revealing to the world that she’s just as bald “down there” as she is on her freshly shaved noggin…

These days, the reigning queen of celebrity downward spirals has to be Lindsay Lohan, and it’s she (once famously dubbed “Fire-Crotch” by former friend and fellow train wreck Paris Hilton) who lends her name to this week’s episode of Two Guys Watching Porn. In this episode, first broadcast on 03/04/13, my co-host Rob and I examine our fascination with the out of control Ms. Lohan, while discussing the endless list of other celebrity women we would happily make sweet love to if the Universe was suddenly turned inside out and upside down and such things actually became possible. Along the way we play a half ass version of “Truth or Dare”, and debut a special new rendition of the Two Guys Watching Porn theme song (available for free download on Soundcloud at: https://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater/two-guys-watching-porn-1). Discussed in this episode is the film “Inferno”, a Linda Lovelace bio-pic that was originally slated to star Lindsay Lohan (and which the above photos were intended to advertise) that is currently, tentatively, in production (with Ms. Lohan replaced by Malin Akerman). Info on this production can be veiwed here: http://youtu.be/dioa1BguGN0.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank any and all of our listeners on Spreaker for taking the time to check out our show. We just recently reached 1,500 plays (not much in the grand scheme of things, but a tremendous thrill for me personally!). Like two morons eating worms while waiting for the short bus, we welcome any attention we can get!