I think the cause of his inner struggle is the fact that he has lost the reason to keep on living and also the fact that he recalled a certain Princess whenever he saw a noble woman suffering.

To a certain extent, this can be seen more clearly in Vol 5 and if we look at this more deeply, this also represents the conflict he has about noble and their responsiblities and virtues that he has detested so much. As of vol 6 chap 4, this still hasn't been fully resolved and I don't expect it will anytime soon.

Spoiler for Spoiler:

On another hand, max respect for the Queen but still, her backstory should be layed out a bit more beforehand before reaching that exposition because I think that story comes out rather sudden. Due to this, while the departing scenes are tragic, I believe the impact would carry more punch and be more heart-breaking.

All in all, F*** the cliffhanger at the latest chapter , I bet those are illusions anyways.

I need more of this, this is drug I say! Digging through 3 volumes over night was exhilarating.