I spoke my thoughts. I took risks. I got inspired. I was a shining beam of energy.

I was alive.

My days are spent in captivity. But who is my captor?

Not he, obviously. He did not lie or force me into this. There never were any false promises of anything better.

I think… I think I invited myself into this.

After all, wasn’t I all those things I said earlier? And if so, who could have ever forced upon me a life I did not want? Who could have held me down had I not allowed it? Who could have stopped me but myself?

But does that mean I deserve this? Or that I should keep up with this?

Is change really so sacrilegious?

It doesn’t matter now. The questions are useless. Useless, unless I stop asking it to myself, and bring it out before the world. Before them. And that, I cannot do.

Somebody once said to me,
“There is a hole in the world.
Can you not see?”

“Don’t worry”, he implored.
“It’s not a defect.
It’s an opportunity
For us to explore beyond
To reach the wider universe
Of endless possibilities.”

Great, I thought.
He speaks so true, does he not?

“No. Thanks.”

“Enjoy your trip,” I waved him off.
“But leave me be in my worldly world.
With my books and my pens
The brooks and the graze
The rattle of the trees
Those songs of the breeze
Can’t have enough of them, you see

And there aren’t much days left anyways

So, begone.
With your ambitions
I wish you all the luck
I hope you do find your endless possibilities
Though I doubt it’ll happen