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Friday, January 06, 2012

Such a Full Week

Many years ago, I lived on the street parallel to this one. I have walked every inch of it, many times over, always marveling at the way the trees seem to meet each other overhead. Even in the winter, when there is only the architectural element of the bare branches, it is still beautiful to me. But, oh, you should see it in the summertime when the world is so green. The temperature is always five degrees cooler in the shade of those lovely trees.

When I am in town, you can bet I have arranged my route so that I still get to meander down the boulevard, driving just a little bit slower so that I can smile at the houses I still have a crush on. I drove down it yesterday. And back up it again today.

This week was a challenging one. There were moments when I remembered to stay myself, to focus for as long as I could on the feelings of now, to just breathe. But I also knew that there was a door closing with one of my beloved clients, and the uncertainty kept making me want to rush ahead, to get more quickly to the end of the week when there would be more answers, a little more clarity on the situation as it progressed.

I am not terribly good at staying in the moment when parts of my work are consuming my thoughts. But I am getting better. It is easier to be present when my tiny ballerina is clad in her pink leotard, when I am on a date with my little boy, when I am slowly coasting down my favorite street.

It is perfectly sensible to me to have a road for a touchstone. There is a window in my kitchen that plays the same role. When I happen to glance out, and my eye lights upon that one tree that is a little left of center, my breathing slows down, and I stand and just look for a moment.

A quiet weekend at home is just what the doctor ordered, I believe. For where one door has closed, two more are already beginning to open, and I have faith that things are going in just the direction they are meant to.