#TeamBeautiful Sounds Off: Why Are Women Always ‘Sorry?’

Shamika Sanders: This topic couldn’t be any more timely than it is right now in my life. Someone once told me “Don’t say ‘I’m sorry.’ Say ‘I apologize’ and do it once. That’s it!” This is after I explained how my boyfriend and I were arguing and I kept saying sorry for the same damn thing, time and time again. But that’s what women do. We take the blunt of the blame even when we’ve apologized already or accept responsibility for a negative situation, even if it isn’t our fault. I don’t want to say sorry again! Seriously. If men can be so unforgiving, why do women have to be so forgiving? If they can give zero f**ks, so should we! But then again, where would this world be if no one cared. Ugh. There I go, another woman carrying the weight of the world on her back. Ladies let’s make it our business to choose ourselves. Sometimes “sorry” doesn’t need to be said.

Danielle Young

Danielle Young: Fault is something I always take. I don’t know why, but ever since I was little, I would always be the one to step up and claim the blame. From “my bad” to flat out “I’m sorry,” I’ve said them all. I remember this nonchalant ex-boyfriend who used to simply say, “All good,” whenever I felt like I’d done something wrong that needed a profuse apology. It used to grind my gears because I thought I needed to plead my case, but he’d already let it go, but I’d let the guilt get the best of me, trying to find creative ways to gain the forgiveness he’d already rewarded me with. He told me, “You need to stop being so sorry all the time. You can apologize and just let that, be that. Move on.”

Maybe that’s where the sorry’s come from–the need to relieve ourselves from the guilt we place no our own hearts. Women are emotional creatures and that ain’t a secret! Because of our mostly over-emotional reactions to life’s thrills, frills and chills, we’re conditioned into believing that everyone feels as hard and as deep as we do about even the most mundane of things. Women just want things to be ok, so we’re sorry when they’re not. It’s not a bad thing, in fact it makes you a person with a good heart, but it’s a heavy weight to bear.

Deborah Bennett

Deborah Bennett: I believe women see apologizing as a way to settle a situation rather than let it drag on. They believe that if they give in, then the other person will do the same. I’ve learned to say “I’m sorry” only if I mean it. We could save a lot of time in our lives if we stop double-thinking everything we say and everything we do and keep it moving.