Thursday, June 26, 2008

Splatter Me With Your Hot Manly Captions

1. "And at the end of the day, I was covered in bruises and spatter. But, enough about my date with Hillary..."

2. Paintball is a lot like a night a titty bar: You can have fun, and you can avoid spending a lot of money... but not both.

3. Paintball terms that sound dirty but aren't: auto-cocker.

4. Good news, she's used to guys splattering stuff in her hair.

5. You know you play too much paintball when your grandmother trips and breaks her hip while you point, laugh, and call her a n00b.

Best of GregMan I knew this would happen after SCOTUS struck down the D.C. gun ban. In my pants.

Best of The Man I've got a Tippman...in my pants

Best of Gagdad Bob No, idiot, I said bring me the SWAT team.

Best of curly In her coarse [intercourse] language, she demanded that I cover the paintball area’s inner course [intercourse] before we would even discuss the possibilities of having intercourse [intercourse].

Best of Son Of The Godfather As my man-parts began to swell I met my fate by orbital gel.

Best of Dr. Hardcrab I shot me a camel with this gun and I got one of it's toes to proove it!!!

Best of Chrees I know what you're thinking. "Did she fire 200 shots or only 199?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a Dangerous Power G3, the most powerful paintball gun in the world, and would blow your shorts clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

Best of Chewman The selector switch says semi, auto, and who needs a man!

Best of mpur Now we know what Scalia was considering when he wrote the majority opinion on Heller.

I know what you're thinking. "Did she fire 200 shots or only 199?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a Dangerous Power G3, the most powerful paintball gun in the world, and would blow your shorts clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

Participation in paintball had slumped in the past year until the girls from Badda-Bing formed their own team said the owner of Paintballers. Our suggestion box is full of requests for a new game called stripballing so we are looking into it.

Disclaimer

All copyrighted images appearing on this site are used in compliance with the Fair Use provisions of United States copyright law covering non-commercial use of copyrighted images. Image use is also protected under the Fair Use exemption for editorial, satirical, and parody work as determined by the United States Supreme Court in Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, Inc. (1994) All captions are fictional, and do not reflect the activities, lifetyle, attitude, or statements of any person depicted in the image. Except Andrew Sullivan.