My life is nuts and I love it just that way!
My writing is directly from the heart. If I feel it, if I think it, I write it....
The good, the bad and the ugly.
For the most part - Life is GOOD. Soak up every second!!
Live, Love, Laugh.... Spin around until you get dizzy and fall down - then get up an do it again!

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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Judging by my posts and rants, I'm sure you've noticed that I've been relatively unproductive the past few days.

During my “down time” I’ve noted a few things. First, my kids CAN actually entertain themselves & do not need me to constantly entertain them (regardless of their overwhelming demand) and my cat is a royal pain in the BLEEP!

I love my kitty, I do. She’s beautiful & fluffy & always by my side. If I'm sick, she is my sick buddy. BUT if I am not up and out of bed by 6:30 am (even when I don’t need to be) she is sitting on my head, head butting me in my ribs and slapping me in the face with her paw… REALLY?? I swear that she’s worse than my kids!

It’s not like she even eats the food I give her! She just wants to know that I’ve gotten my butt up out of my comfy little bed, that she has food in her dish and my outside kitty is also fed. Then, her world is fine and she will fluff up a spot and plop herself down. Most of the time - that spot is (or was) MINE!

Now I’m up. Of course caffeine will need to be involved. Then I’ll look around and see the things that need to be done & I’ll start doing them & then I realize – wow, I feel like crap – why am I up?? The kids are happily fed and playing nicely without me. Oh that’s right, the cat... And look… She’s sleeping on MY spot in MY bed!

Is it possible for an animal to be so manipulative?? Clearly it is!

Well I'm off to go have a tug of war for the covers with my cat. I'm planning to win, but then again - I plan to sleep in on Saturdays as well...

Monday, August 29, 2011

Unlike other people in town, we've been really lucky to have power and very little storm damage. The sumps kicked on at 2 am, luckily for me, at a time when Wag was home to get some rest.

If you have no power or gas - TRUST ME, these guys are working like dogs. My husband is supervision & he's been out since 4:30 pm Saturday. Crews genuinely have been working & most of these guys haven't slept.

I haven't seen anything besides whats in the news, online or on TV - but I know that rivers are way beyond flood stages (by record levels) and roads are washed out - and this is just in North Jersey. I know that the shore took a major hit.

We live in the mountains, so currently we are suffering run off & ground saturation (in my home). I do know that my friends "up the mountain" may be without power by now and the roads off the mountain were flooded & closed.

Kyle spent the weekend at a friend's house upstate - they have been without power & I know that roads leading home have been washed out in several areas - so I'd just assume he stay put!

I feel incredibly lucky & blessed to have been spared - but if you are a praying person, I ask you to pray for those around here who weren't so lucky. Most of us Jersey folk are nothing like those on TV and don't "have it all" as it appears on TV - we work hard and live modest lives.

To my local friends, if you can see this and you need help, or want to take a shower and you can get to my house - the door is always open to you.

I know I can't get down the highway to work because 23 is flooded & all the area around my office is flooded. I'm content to be trapped for the time being, but will venture out later to see for myself.

As drastic as this all may sound, we were very lucky compared to the prediction.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

I don't have the nerve (or desire) to wear one of those "I Survived Hurricane Irene 2011" shirts, nor would I ever put that as my status.

As a plus, we didn't sustain much damage, but some of my friends have.

I believe that I deserve an award for keeping two little girls not only happy, but from killing each other & driving me insane for the past 2 days. (Today started with 2 melt downs before 9 am prior to a full tank of caffeine - so stay with me....)

It's been a crazy day - the news, of course, is absolutely relentless with the storm - alright already... I know, I know hurricane - got it. Yes, it's windy - yes, I'm inside. Yes, I'm sad about our beaches - but how much news can we stand - I'm on overload.

Most of the day I've kept the TV off just to keep the girls prepared for the potential loss of power (which didn't happen, thankfully). I've enjoyed the no TV & have almost finished reading a 500 plus page book, I'm so proud of me... And my daughter just said OUT LOUD "I wanna finish reading my book". I'm so proud of her! And, I just popped the TV on & am annoyed already after 5 minutes, so I will gladly yield to the Disney Channel to keep a happy 5 year old.

It's been a tough little weekend for these girls, all cooped up in the house - but they did a great job. Wag has been at work since 4ish yesterday & not likely to come home any time soon... It's Ok, I've got it.

Kyle ditched me, but did call in bright & early this morning to make sure momma was Ok - good boy... However, he's had no power where he's staying... Oh well, you wanted to go out and party all weekend.

Have I been bored, yup. I didn't want to leave & no one wanted to entertain me. I'm Facebooked out, but I fully expect to be bored for one more day, because as I look online, I see that all paths out of my town are either flooded or have tree issues, so stay tuned...

For my friends in Wayne, Warwick, Pompton Lakes/Plains, Pequannock, down the shore - Long Island - and anyone else with tree / water damage, my thoughts are with you. Let me know if I can do anything.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

And you know it's for real when NYC shuts down (the City never sleeps) and Atlantic City is closing the casinos... Should make for a very interesting weekend.

Personally, I say BRING IT! I'll be surfing the storm from INSIDE of my home with the girls. Wag is, of course, on call and in the shop for the night and the teenager ditched me to be with his friends. No worries - I've got a safe neighborhood & we're all ready to cram into John & Trish's house since they've got the generator. (yes, that's your heads up, hee hee) I'm pretty sure I can make it across the street in a hurricane.

I'm really not all that concerned for anything except downed trees and loss of power. I rode out Hurricane Floyd in '99 (? year) with Kyle as a single mom, I already know the drill. The trees could definitely be an issue, since I've got a lot of them - but it is what it is.

My concern is, first and foremost, for my family and friends in North Carolina and on the East coast. Be safe all! No surfing in the storm, don't be brave - we'd rather help you clean up after the mess than attend your funerals.

If you need a place to go, call me or just show up. My door is always open & there's always room for one more.

Please let's be smart! Don't be a hero... As my husband says, a hero ain't nothin' but a sandwich...

Prayers for all - for us inland folk, enjoy the storm :) She's a comin'

Friday, August 26, 2011

First off, I'd like to say - if you're in North Jersey (or upstate NY) and you're freaking out...
Y'all are WIMPS!

2 words... Hurricane Floyd

Before the news hype comes gets worse & I get stuck on a forever line at Shop Rite (which you all know, I HATE) let's go over a few things shall we...

First - have cash. Remember that green paper that most of us used to have in our wallets - yeah, that. You will need it. If you are old enough to remember Hurricane Floyd - the ATMs were all down.

Second - prepare to be without electricity. I know, I know the horror... Without electricity also means without internet, and NO your Blackberries & cell phones may not work either. Take note, if you or your entire block has no electricity, chances are the grocery store won't have power either & they'll be closed. That's even suggesting that there won't be downed trees in the path of the store.

Think CAMPING. Not camping like I camp (in a camper, lol) but like I used to camp. ROUGH IT! Think no electricity. Think flash lights, candles, board games, books (book lights if you have them) & lots and lots of close personal family time.

With that in mind - as you go out to rush the supermarkets - do NOT waste your time on milk, meats or dairy - refrigerators run on electric, remember?? Think bread, peanut butter, pasta, canned stuff. Cook in advance & warm stuff up on the stove. If you don't have gas, bummer... I'd say to use your grill, but I don't want to be responsible for he potential disaster of someone bringing it into their kitchen. Camping cook stoves w/ propane work real well too - on your covered OUTSIDE porch - not in your house!

You may also want to think ice for your coolers & since you'll be spending so much quality time with your children (without TV or other stimulants they are used to) beer and wine will go real well in those coolers. Just sayin'. Oh, bottled water is always good too :)

Fill your vehicle up with gas. Like the rest of the population of the planet, most gas station's pumps are electronic.

For us folk up here in the mountains who have well & septic - fill your tub with water. As we all know, without a pump, there is no water - with no water, the potty does not flush... get where I'm going with this?

Trees will be down, roads will be blocked. You may be trapped for a day or two if it's as bad as they predict.

Instead of making a run on the grocery store (I'm pretty sure everyone's got enough food in their home to last a few days) hit the book store & the toy store. Load up with activities to keep everyone occupied.

For those with small children who are programmed that dark means night night - Yay you!! (that's how I programmed my kids) A few extra hours to yourselves. Woo Hoo!!

For my family & friends in North Carolina and along the coast - be safe! I'll be praying for you!

For my North Jersey wimps.... Really??? Come on guys - as tough as we Jersey folk are, we should be looking Irene in the face & say bring it on.........

In all seriousness, be smart and stay safe. If you genuinely need help and can get to us, come on over - our door's always open :)

And remember, if God wants you... He doesn't need a little hurricane to take you.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Before anyone gets all mad at me - I WAS raised in the Catholic church.

I don't bring up religion or politics anymore, because I piss people off, sorry.

Today, I'm putting it out there in my very Jenn way :)

First, I want to say - I am Christian.
I genuinely hope that statement isn't shocking to anyone. I also hope that even though I don't always properly walk the line - I haven't ever said or done anything that would prompt someone to say SHE IS??? I am admittedly a work in progress.

I was raised in the Catholic religion. Catholic school & all... And like most Catholic school girls - I rebelled! The priests were none too pleased with me when my friends and I, in the 4th grade, formed a posse of "why aren't there any altar girls??" Yeah, that went over like a lead balloon in the 70's!

I did it all though, I was a good little Catholic girl; church every Sunday, confession once a week, penance. I did as I was told & tried to obey the rules as they were set before me. Partially because I truly believe in God and wanted to make him happy, but also because I was scared to death of the nuns! Man, those women were brutal!! A classmate who sat next to me in grammar school was left handed. That poor thing got slapped across the knuckles & was forced to write with the other hand. I also remember a public school kid (the horror, lol) being slapped across the face during communion practice because he was nervous & laughed. Holy crap! Yeah - I was scared, but I survived.

I also sent Kyle to Catholic school - because that was best, right??
I didn't even question my religion until I went through my divorce with Kyle's father.

During that time, the rose colored glasses were literally ripped off my face. The second I became a "divorcee" - the other mommies held on to their husbands a little tighter and avoid me like the plague. They stopped calling me for lunch, stopped including me in PTA events & stopped having my son for play dates. I couldn't believe that during such an awful time I was abandoned by the people I looked to for support - so I went to talk to the Pastor. He wasn't much help. I asked for help with Kyle, nope. I inquired about an annulment & was told I could not have one, because I had a child of the marriage - BUT if I filled out the paperwork & paid the $1600 fee they would take it under consideration... REALLY?? That along with other incidents, which I won't go into - were the beginning of the end for me. Suddenly the Catholic church wasn't looking so shiny & bright to me. It looked shallow, unkind & mean spirited. I abandoned all faith. I quit going to church & felt lost.

It was an incredibly dark time in my life.

Then I met my husband. He also went to the Catholic church, but came from a family who converted to Evangelism, so he was DEAD SET on NEVER switching his religion. No problem - you do your thing, I'll do mine.

After a while, he & I became closer and married. I knew there was something missing in my life. I started to explore other faiths, other churches - anything. Then my cousin told me, "Jenn, just go find a good Bible teaching church." (Thanks Cathy) I always admired the cute white church on the hill. So, being the internet geek I am, I emailed the pastor and asked of the church's beliefs. We attended a service and that has been our home & family ever since. The pieces all fell together & finally fit!

And gasp, it's not a Catholic church!

Stan & I regularly have banter (usually after a few cocktails) with regard to the teachings of the Catholic church compared to the teachings of our church. There's no winner. We both believe that Jesus is our Lord & Savior and we believe in what the Bible teaches. That's usually where it ends. He understands my struggle and I respect his line of thinking as well.

There are many things that will stick with me forever, like the terms "mortal sin" and "purgatory". Heck I even had my daughter baptized in the Catholic church (when I was no longer Catholic) because I was still brain washed into believing that if I didn't run out and have her baptized immediately, if something awful happened - her little soul would stay in purgatory because she wasn't cleansed of the original sin.

No offense to my devout Catholic friends ... Some of you have a wonderful experience - and I am happy for you. This is MY experience.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

If my husband is reading this, his jaw probably just hit the ground – because I’ve yet to admit this out loud. (You can pick your jaw back up now honey.)

I remember a few years back when my son’s friend Christian was at our house & I said Ok guys, let’s go. I could hear Kyle from the room saying, “No, Christian – you don’t understand – when my mom says let’s go, that doesn’t mean we have 10 more minutes – it means she’s walking out the door.” At least my kids know.

Don’t knock it – I fully expect to reciprocate. If you ask me for something, I will drop whatever I’m doing & take care of it for you. It works both ways… See, I’m not a total spoiled brat….

I genuinely don’t have patience with quite a few things – while I can easily deal with traffic & screaming kids… I have absolutely NO patience with the cold cut line or the people who pretend to not hear you say EXCUSE ME three times in the grocery store when you’re trying to pass by. I just can’t do it. It’s gotten to the point where my husband does the grocery shopping to save that $15 I would spend at Shoprite.com…

This behavior of mine drives many people crazy. Sorry, I don’t mean anything by it. It’s just me. When I call or email, I expect an instant response… If I I don't get it, I'm asking again. If wanted it in 10 minutes, I’d ask you 10 minutes from now… (and I wonder where my kids get it from, lol)

Ok, Ok – it’s still a little bratty of me. I don't see the problem... It's not like I haven't given fair warning...

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Ladies, as women - we all know this phrase means exactly the opposite. At least it did for me, when I was a teenager.

I was incredibly blessed to have had two great dads growing up. My dad & my step-dad.

My relationship with my step-dad was not fabulous while I was growing up, but there were points in my childhood where he did take a genuine interest in my life. In the 10 years before he died, he was every bit as close with me as my real dad was, and I miss him terribly.

I mention all of this because if my dad(s) said something, liked someone, didn't like someone - that carried real weight with me. I'd broken up with many a boy that either my dad or step dad (whom I will refer to as Poppie from here on) didn't like.

Not really my dad.

My dad was very laid back & easy going.

Poppie was former Navy, rigid - Archie Bunker type.

At 16 years old, a boy came to the front door for me. He was very respectful. He rang the doorbell, introduced himself and asked for me nicely and I all I heard was "get the bleep outta here" SLAM. I came running down the stairs wondering what was going on. All I got was - "get upstairs!" (expletives removed)

My dad was never so forward and not at all sensitive to how someone looked or their heritage (though a nice Dutch boy would have been nice) - but he definitely let me know if there was someone he didn't approve of, or like for one reason or another. He also let them know in his own way as well.

I didn't much like that, but it was what it was.

However, if my mother liked someone, it was the kiss of death (for him not me).

BUT - If she hated a guy, that meant quick run out and marry him.

Yeah, that didn't work out so well for me in the past.

I don't know if it's a female thing or what... A wise person once said that there is no house big enough to hold two strong minded women.

All of this makes me wonder... How will MY daughter will be with me in a few years?

It scares me to think about.

Personally, I believe I've got the Great American Bitch Off won - hands down... But how will this sweet little darling punish me for my "sins" to the mother..

Will I escape the "I hope you get one just like you" curse??? It's not looking good, so far, I'll have to admit.

Like me, my little girl is all about her daddy. So I will have to learn to keep my mouth shut and let her daddy handle it.

Daddy's got his line all picked out and ready "Son, I don't mind going back to the joint. My little girl comes home as she left... got it?" (no, he's never been in jail - sounds good though, doesn't it?)

Every once in a while he'll lay down the law & throw a "do it because your mother said so" - but I'm thinking that is not so much a "command" than a dare that has been laid out for MY future....

Monday, August 8, 2011

I’m sitting here at my computer listening to Pink Floyd & suddenly noting the separation of sound between speakers & silly enough – that brings a smile to my face. It’s these type of things that help me to keep my dad alive in my heart on a regular basis.

Not many of you on here knew my dad & there’s only a few on here who knew my dad “when”. My daddy was very “Peace, Love & Tie-Dye”, definitely not your conventional dad. He was a “Dead Head” and a bit of a stoner. He was also a very loving, peaceful, generous and kind soul – sort of lost in life. Say what you want, he was my daddy & I idolized him.

It was my dad that taught me love & acceptance of others. Not to see color when you look at people & that every person has a story. If their story is sad, make them happy. And that love is love - give it freely, give it often & give it with all your heart. Giving love will only make you more beautiful. He also taught me music – all of it. Not just what was popular – all of it. I can clearly remember being about, I don’t know… 7, maybe… and my dad coming to the living room (probably stoned, as I reflect back) and he sat in his chair. I sat on the foot stool beside him & he had me listen to Edgar Winter’s Frankenstein, lol. I can clearly remember him telling me – “Ok, Jenny – listen to this part – it will BLOW YOUR MIND” ha ha… Of course, I had no clue what he was talking about, but I made sure to fall off the foot stool in an attempt to have it “blow my mind” lol I was probably also the youngest participant at the Pink Floyd "Animals" concert at Madison Square Garden (with a contact high). Daddy wanted me to experience music. I'm so thankful for that.

Some people may be horrified to read this some of this, but it was a different time… the 70’s (eek)

It may not have been everyone’s normal, but it was my normal.

This was my foundation. It may not have been conventional, but it was built on love, a little bit of crazy and whole lot of music; Mickey Hart, Pink Floyd, Grateful Dead, Edgar Winter, Queen and anything else that would blow my dad’s mind :o)

That’s how I remember my daddy… He was the best.

This one’s for you, Daddy – Happy Birthday in Heaven. Thank you for all you taught me. I hope I make you proud! I love you to the moon & back, forever & ever!

~My wish for every woman/girl – I hope you will always see the sun shining all around your daddy when you look at him.

~For every dad – I hope your little girl will always looks at you with a twinkle in her eye.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

If not for MY issues, you fine people wouldn't be reading this little blog of mine :)

Oh, I fully admit that my head is definitely NOT screwed on too tight - don't judge.Have you checked yourself lately??

Oh - well please, let me turn that little mirror of judgement around so you could see yourself better.

Seeee ISSUES! Ha! We've all got 'em!

One of my biggest is "control".

My brother, Darren & I share this one (to a high degree). Fortunately for all of those around us, we are also both smart enough to know there is only so much you can actually control in this life. So we control what we know we can, like where the remote control is SUPPOSED to sit on the table (DARREN). Between this line & this line & don't flippin' move it! Ha!
For me, it's the toilet paper roll - it MUST come up over the top. If someone turns it the other way, it just freaks me out. My friends used to have great fun with that. Ohhh, don't you worry - there are many, many more - but I don't have that kind of time to type. :) It really could be worse.

I actually find the humor in all of this, really.

My husband will have no problem telling you all how anal I am & then HE will re-arrange MY kitchen because it didn't make sense. Uh - get the hell out of my kitchen if you want to eat!

Ha Ha ... see I S S U E S ! ! !

This is what makes it easier for me to deal with other people's issues. Believe me, I know I drive people nuts. I'm a total whack job sometimes - it comes with the rest of the Jenn Package.

Oh no, this is real - I've practiced both methods of "speak". I've had a conversation (with my husband) in "man speak" using very (very, very) few words & then I've had a full conversation.

During my "conversation" of few words, he heard me and responded appropriately.

During my actual conversation, I chatted away and then noted the far away look in his eyes where his thoughts probably drifted from, I'm hungry, to I think I'll wash the car, to should I mow the lawn, to Ooh look - cleavage.

Then the conversation ended with an "Uh huh. What did you say dinner was again???"

Um, I didn't - but thanks for playing.

Frustrating, yes - wrong, no.

It's just one of the many differences between men & women.

Well at least I get it now. I spent a lot of needless time annoyed that I wasn't getting proper attention, when all I needed to do was to translate properly; write down all I wanted to say and then pull out any superfluous words - which was most of them and grunt.

If not, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh....

For any of the men who've gotten all the way through my pretty, pretty colors - thank you for reading.