Archive for the ‘Film Friday’ Category

Completely crazy I know, but that evil Queen from “Thor & Bella,” is back. She didn’t die and in fact in the horribly scary future, she travels on space ships to moons that are years away. I don’t mind because she has toned down the freaky, evil magic and instead is just kinda stern but that is what happens to bosses who don’t have full support from management, which she is.

Oh and she isn’t even slightly ugly and does pushups covered with jelly preservatives and sweat, which is pretty sweet. I still don’t think she smiled once in the whole movie but, didn’t bother me.

So the movie I saw is “Prometheus,” but the truth is, it reminds me sooooo much of these shows I remember about aliens with freaky-deaky black banana heads, sharp teeth, slime skin and acid blood. First there was one about just one of these black, creepy-as-bleep death machines (with a robot modeled after the original Bilbo Baggins) and then there was a sequel with dozens of nasty aliens and their way-clingy babies. (more…)

So, midnight show of “Snow White & The Huntsman,” and the auditorium was stuffed. In the luckiest casting ever, it has Thor and Bella fighting the serial killer Aileen Wuornos from that movie with the little girl from the Adams Family – except this time the serial killer is hot and she is just as much of a monster, but now she is a Queen in fantasy-land too, with way better skin from her freaky, but also sexy, milk baths.

Thor is pretty good in this film but he traded in his hammer for a big ax and he never uses his lightning powers. He can still outfight anybody except the super-creepy brother of the serial-killer-way-evil Queen who made the audience so uncomfortable they giggled sometimes. Strange thing is, Hawkeye is in this too, disguised as a prince or something or, come to think of it, maybe it was Legolas. But this guy had all the cinema arrow hero tricks stuff down cold. I mean, he has definitely studied archery movies hardcore. Plus he is way brave and way defiant of his cautious and always wrong dad who talks a lot but never does anything. And he, the son, is also really handsome. I like girls but I could tell, because all the handsome guys shaved, but only a day or two before the film got made.

Serial-Killer Queen takes over the kingdom because, mostly, she hates kings and then locks the little princess in a tower. The super insecure hot Queen isn’t all bad though because despite claiming that she has wiped out tons of kingdoms before this one, and has killed thousands (and she might be being modest on that one point) she gives Bella really spiffy clothes to have in the tower, especially with those Walt Disney, Snow White puffy shoulders, which also makes her brave in a way because Bella is the only person who could threaten her evil Queening and she doesn’t just kill her to begin with. (more…)

Joss Whedon gets group dynamics. He knows how to play characters and personalities off one another for maximum drama and humor because he understands his protagonists. One minute he has audiences laughing at situations or dialog that both draw from and adds to his characters (rather than handing over jokes that demonstrate how clever the writer is) and moments later he pushes crowds close to tears with indelible moments, also based on the people in the story.

The Avengers movie plays to his strengths with its array of gods, monsters and playboys. Among the menagerie, he even manages to make an acceptable character out of Scarlet Johansson’s Black Widow, making her much more than the token hot woman in leather. With Whedon’s gift with female characters, perhaps this group could use a Wasp or a Scarlet Witch down the road. Or maybe a She-Hulk.

Even without the director’s guiding hand, Marvel Studios has delivered on the seemingly impossible. In a comic book, unrestrained by budgets, its easy to throw characters together and create an all-star team. But to take blockbuster franchise films and stir them all together where budgets and egos can get it the way, is something of a miracle. But Whedon takes the thrilling premise and delivers charm and dimensional characters with conflict and big battles. The talent seems to have bought in, doubtless helped by knowing the plan from the beginning, and the ultimate superhero teams comes alive. (more…)

Lets make one thing clear up front: Don’t go to the theater expecting too much from “Wrath of the Titans.” Don’t expect to be emotionally invested or deeply moved or to have your intellect challenged or to be dazzled by dialog or performances; none of those things will happen.

And, even the best special effects films can leave viewers feeling like they have been pick-pocketed by bright lights and huge databases of computers generating artificial pixels of men and monsters like most of the films with “Transformers,” somewhere in the title. (more…)

There is a certain irony that audiences will sit revulsed by the society depicted in The Hunger Games this weekend because it enjoys watching the blood sport of children while real-world audiences have forked over millions to enjoy a film about — the blood sport of children. (Yes, there are obvious differences too. One isn’t real for starters.)

The film, brought to the big screen from Suzanne Collins’ first of a series of novels, is absolutely critic proof. It has a dedicated, devoted audience of readers who are nearly automatic ticket buyers and they are destined to love the film, and those that will come after, which are already poised to make serious cake. They will also champion the movie and see it many times over. Legions will enter theaters wrapped in tribute tees already knowing, before the film plays, it will be the “best film ever.” (Some of this might sound familiar to Middle-earth movie audiences!)

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