Former personal assistant to former Prime minister David Cameron, Nick Clegg today expressed opinions that he is completely unqualified to express.

"I know I let everyone down by completely selling out my morals when I was Mr Cameron's personal assistant, but I think I am in a good position to tell everyone what they should think because I did go to parliament three times, I even brought in some doughnuts when they were all talking about the EU in Mr Cameron's office. So it's with all of this information made available to you that I think we should have a general election, because if there is one thing that the British public is known for it is that they love voting for things."

Former Liberal Democrat leader Clegg, now working as a barista at Starbucks, was once deputy Prime Minister of the coalition government, unfortunately that equated to little more than fetching food and cleaning up dirty tissues around the offices.

Many voters feel that Clegg has no right to tell anyone what to do considering he is such a spineless cunt, Clegg however continues to tell everyone who will listen about his stupid fucking opinions.

Current Liberal Democrat leader Sam Average told Clegg "I'll take a mocha latte please mate, keep the change, you obviously need it you pathetic prick"