While Spears seems like a lovely lady (and has a really great ’90s supermodel throwback thing about her), we can’t help but find it hilarious that her life is now the embodiment of what everyone (–with something to sell) believes women want: good looks so conventional you can make a living off of them, marrying a rich older man and, to top it off, ending up with a crown (or garland of flowers)?

Not sure if we should celebrate the news with some delicious nonfat Greek yogurt or half a pint of Häagen-Dazs in bed.