The day Greece opened its first Lowe's, Theseus rejoiced in the fact that he could now convert his 160 watt glowing arrows to the low light-energy conserving fluorescent arrows shown here as he aims it straight and true at Home Depot for causing blindness in his left eye.

The Greeks wore leather armor, renowned for their innovations in war and logic. The Mayans got so good at it they were able to form one of the most powerful, early civilizations. Blacks formed tribes and later 'integrated' into almost every aspect of the global community. Asians continue to advance science and technology as a culture founded on clashing dynasties. Rednecks still shoot deer and drink beer.