PORTSMOUTH — Whether the kids know it or not, their parents can be their best ally when confronted with peer pressure.

Sometimes peer pressure can be harmless, but it can also cause kids to do poorly in school, experiment with drugs or alcohol, or become sexually active. Adolescence is a time when this peaks, and the middle school years are especially challenging for kids.

Justin Looser, director of behavior health at Portsmouth Regional Hospital, said parents need to be ahead of the game and encourage transparency with their youngsters.

"Kids who are smoking or drinking alcohol want others to do it because they are uncomfortable and this somehow validates their own behavior," Looser said.

He added that a lot of parents aren't aware their kids are getting into prescribed medications, including opiates.

"They may also be inhaling substances, not knowing how dangerous they are," he said. "Some can kill instantly."

Looser said it is normal for kids in middle school to withdraw a little from their parents, but red flags go up if a parent notices changes like increased isolation, withdrawal from social activities and slipping grades.

He suggests confronting the child in a way that is not punishment oriented.

Laura Burbine, wellness coordinator for the Portsmouth School District, said the middle school is proactive in its approach to peer pressure.

"We tell the kids that 97 percent of the students at the middle school are not smoking pot or drinking alcohol," she said. "The vast majority of the kids are making wise choices. We try to change their way of thinking that 'everyone is doing this.'"

Peer pressure refusal skills are taught in all three grades at Portsmouth Middle School. "We talk about situations the kids might find themselves in and do role-playing skits," Burbine said.

Seventh- and eighth-graders also participate in Project Alert, an evidence-based program that deals with the pressures kids feel at this age.

"There is external peer pressure and the internal pressure of 'maybe I should try this or that,'" Burbine said. "There are also the cultural messages on TV or in the movies giving kids the wrong messages."

Seventh-graders are taught Project Alert once a week in health class for 11 weeks. Eighth-graders have three refresher lessons in health class.

"We also have lots of after-school activities and clubs to keep the students connected to the school and the community," Burbine said. "This helps them to make wise decisions."

Kids who are not engaged in after-school activities such as sports or music may be more vulnerable and have feelings of rejection, said Tracey Tucker, executive director of New Heights. "They could get in with the wrong crowd and try drugs or alcohol," she said. "If we can engage them in something beyond school, they will be less likely to submit to peer pressure."

New Heights, located at Community Campus, has been offering learning and adventure programming since 1987 to Seacoast youth. It promotes self-esteem in a safe setting by developing character, confidence and the resiliency necessary for healthy and successful adulthood.

"By offering programming after school and in the summer, we are reaching those kids who may be isolating themselves in front of a video screen or TV," Tucker said. "And this is across the whole economic spectrum."

Tucker, too, said it's natural for kids this age to move away from their parents toward independence. "They might look to another adult as a mentor, and our programming allows for this opportunity," she said.