Books, Ideas, and Literary Culture for Women in Military Life

A Working Home

The secret to my sanity this last week was the creation of a new euphemism for our perpetually-messy house. I decided to call it, “A Working Home.” (Do not confuse this with a home populated by “working girls.”)

My new “Working Home” designation embraces the idea that this is a home where work is happening. The work of being kids, the work of maintaining a household, the work of being a writer (when time allows). There is no time for “clean” in this house! Clean is for show homes, not for “The Working Home.”

we are working!

That laundry lined up along the counter and in piles on the floor? Working home! The bags of clothes upstairs waiting to be sorted for the Goodwill? Working home (and altruistic)! The unsorted recycling in the garage? Working home (and environmentally conscious)! (Also a little lazy!)

working hard!

The “Working Home” idea also dovetails nicely with two of my more successful catchphrases from this deployment. I have two of them — “Family Team!” and, “It’s Not Convenient!”

The first — “Family Team!” — has proven quite handy. It’s short and sweet enough for instant recognition, and it sums up what we are about. It’s best in situations where immediate and lasting sucking-it-up is required, as in — Children get tired waiting in airport security line. “Family Team!” barks I. And suddenly they sharpen right up (ideally), reminded of our cohesion and our shared goal of making it to our destination.

The other catchphrase of this deployment is mine alone and functions, in my mind, as a sort of stamp that I put on anything that comes my way. The phrase: “It’s not convenient!” I use it for all judgment calls and it even has an accompanying physical action to solidify my resolve. Example: The kids bring home pamphlets for 5 separate fund-raisers and after-school activities — I make a fist with my right hand, pop it into the palm of the left and say, “It’s not convenient!” Bam, done, into the recycling! I’m approached by a sweetly wheedling mom at school about volunteering for the chili cook-off — bam, “It’s not convenient!” (Slightly raised eyebrows at my weird hand gesture, but whatever, a woman’s gotta stay strong.)

Family trip to the pumpkin patch? Convenient! (“Convenient” is less exciting, visually, as it has no accompanying hand gesture)

Hope your week will be full of family cohesion, good hard work (and play), and all things fun and convenient.

10 thoughts on “A Working Home”

I learned it from your mom! I always remembered her story about having to move to Baltimore and feeling kind of freaked out until she got used to it, and having mantras to get her through (I think hers was “Don’t sweat the small stuff”). When she first told me that I thought, “Oh, that funny, quaint little lady.” Then we started having to move a lot and I tried it and it totally works!

I am not a military spouse but I I’d read this post when I was a single mom it would have been my saving grace. I loved the interview with you too. Congratulations on the publishing of your first novel!