A phonochondriac is a person who constantly thinks that something is wrong with their cellular phone, when in fact everything is working fine. They constantly come down to their cellular provider to ask a million questions about their phone, and get a dumb look from the associate helping them. If the associate fixes one of the "issues" with their phone, they just make another one up. The associate will have no choice but to do a warranty exchange to get them out of the store.

Customer: Something is wrong with my phone. The battery dies really fast.
Associate: It's only supposed to last that long.
Customer: Well it freezes on me also.
Associate: You have 50+ applications open.
Customer: It drops signal, and I hate this phone so much.
Associate: Let's just do a warranty exchange.
Associate to coworker: Man, what a phonochondriac I just had.