The pernicious influence of immigrants in the UK

There are a number of British National Party supporters on the Vine, and they've been complaining about immigration, and immigrants "changing our culture", suggesting that this is a bad thing. It's not the first time that culture in the British Isles has been influenced by incomers, of course, and to avoid hypocrisy and resist any future change, it seems to me that it would be the right thing to do for those who hold these views to boycott all aspects of British culture which are the result of immigration. To help them along, I've compiled a little list:

Food

Curry and all other food from the Indian sub-continent.

Chinese carry-outs

Kebabs

Fish and chips - the chips were brought from Belgium by Hugenot asylum seekers; the fried fish is a Jewish dish.

Drink

Coffee - the first coffee house in the UK was set up by Pasqua Rosée, who is clearly an immigrant with a name like that!

Wine (the Romans)

Beer. Unhopped ale is okay.

These lists do not include food which was brought by British people from abroad, just that which was introduced by immigrants as living on barley, seaweed and shellfish wouldn't be much fun.

Other aspects of "British" culture

The English language (the Anglo-Saxons, much modified by the Normans)

TheEnglish legal system (the Normans). The Scottish one is based on Roman law.

The music of Handel (emigrated from Germany to England), Freddie Mercury (from Zanzibar), Cliff Richard (Indian), George Michael (Greek), Status Quo (Francis Rossi is a mix of Italian and Irish), Vanessa Mae (Chinese) KT Tunstall (Chinese) and practically everything in the charts right now, it seems.

Football - the contributions of British Italians and people from the Caribbean are far too many to list. In fact, it would be best to ignore sport altogether. I mean, once the England cricket team was captained by someone called Hussain, the whole enterprise was doomed.

Wicca - this might seem to be the only genuinely British religion, but Dorothy Clutterbuck, who taught Gerald Gardner, was born in India. Gardner himself spent most of his formative years in Asia.

The railways - built with Irish labour. Even though the labourers were British citizens at the time, they didn't want to be, and this should be respected.

Of course, immigrants have changed British culture in other ways, including by setting up businesses which out-competed the existing ones and put them out of business. Such behaviour should not be tolerated by the defenders of British culture and so the following businesses, founded by immigrants and their descendants, should be boycotted.

easyJet (Stelios is a Greek Cypriot immigrant, though he mostly lives in Monaco these days)

Marks and Spencer co-founded by Michael Marks, a Jew from Belarus.

Sainsbury's - founded by John James Sainsbury, a Jew.

Tesco - founded by Jack Cohen, a Jew whose father immigrated from Poland.

Burton, Top Shop, Miss Selfridge, Principles, Dorothy Perkins, Evans, Wallis, Top Man etc. - descended from the Burton Group, founded by Montague Burton, a Lithuanian Jew. These have now been sold to a company owned by another Jew, Philip Green, who also owns BHS and Etam.

The Body Shop - founded by Anita Roddick, an Italian Jew

The Forte Group, including Little Chef, Travelodge, Welcome Break motorway services and the Savoy Hotel - founded by Charles Forte, who immigrated from Italy.

ITV - Granada, one of the two companies making up ITV plc was founded by Sydney Bernstein, who was Jewish.

Joe Bloggs clothing - founded by Shami Ahmed, born in Pakistan.

New Look clothing stores - founded by Tom Singh.

Selfridges - founded by an American immigrant, Harry Gordon Selfridge, with the express intention of changing the standards of retailing in the UK.

Argos, Homebase and Burberry - all once part of Great Universal Stores, founded by George and Abraham Rose, which sounds Jewish. The business was developed by Issac Wolfson, son of Polish immigrants. Experian, the credit reference agency, is also part of the same family of companies.

Ann Summers, Knickerbox - Gold Group International founded by Ralph and David Gold, more Jews coming here and changing the way we do things.

Bovis Construction - a failing company taken over by Samuel Joseph and Sidney Gluckstein. They are behind many lend-lease projects, so choose your hospital carefully.

Dollond and Aitcheson - John Dollond was the son of Hugenot refugees.

H. Samuel - has its origins in the clockmaking and silversmithing business of Moses Samuel.

On top of this, the thousands of Asian-owned newsagents, corner shops and groceries, Chinese supermarkets and Polish delis should be avoided.

To avoid contamination with retail practices introduced to the UK by immigrants, you should avoid doing any shopping on Sundays, outwith the hours of 9am to 5pm and on Wednesday afternoon (Tuesday afternoon in some parts of Lancashire).

As for myself? I think I'll pop down to the corner shop (Asian-owned, and therefore open at 6pm) and buy myself a couple of (vegetarian) haggis samosas.