VILLAGER NEWS: THE GIANT PROBLEM

Closed captioning by IndigoPandaGaming *Villager news theme Capella*
“A great reason to stop whatever you’re doing and watch this video” Villager News! *Ground-shaking thud* Villager #4: Breaking news! The ground is shaking! *Another thud* Villager Number nine! What’s going on out there?! Villager #9: Hello, Villager Number 4. It appears that we’re being overrun… *Earth-shaking thud*
Villager #9: Hello, Villager Number 4. It appears that we’re being overrun… Hello, Villager Number 4. It appears that we’re being overrun… ..By giant mobs! *Stomp* *Stomp* Villager #12: Woah! A giant rabbit! Villager #56:But- It’s so small… #12: No…He’s just very far away. *Gasp* *Crushing stomp* *Lighthearted music plays* *Lighthearted music plays*
I wanna know where my wood iiiiss~ *Lighthearted music plays* *Lighthearted music plays*
*Muffled thud* *Lighthearted music plays* *Lighthearted music plays*
I want you to show meee~ *Lighthearted music continues*
*Villagers shouting warnings* *Lighthearted music continues*
I wanna find where my wood iiiiss~ *Lighthearted music continues* *Lighthearted music continues*
I know you can show meee~ *Lighthearted music continues* *Lighthearted music continues*
Villager #84: Aaaaaaaahhh!! *STOMP* #12: Awwwh, Poor Villager Number 84… #56: At least it’s not heading towards the village. !? #56: OH NO!! It’s heading towards the village! *Wind whooshing* *THUD* Aaaaaaaah!!!!!!!RUN! Break glass in an emergency Huh? Aaaahh!! Oh.. *THUD* Villager #24: Wait! I have an idea! *Suspenseful Music* *Distant stomp*
*Suspenseful Music* *Suspenseful Music* *Distant stomp*
*Suspenseful Music* *Suspenseful Music* *Suspenseful Music* *Fire cracking*
*Suspenseful Music* *STOMP*
*Suspenseful Music* *Fire cracking*
*Suspenseful Music* Come on….
*Suspenseful Music* Come on…!
*Suspenseful Music* *Suspenseful Music* *Distant stomp*
*Suspenseful Music* *Suspenseful Music* Ping! *Intense music* Villager #53: Oh, COME ON! You wasted so much time! You suck, and your plan sucks! Hey! I don’t see YOU doing anything! You know what? You’re right. Sometimes I forget that other people have feelings too.. I’ll keep my angry outbursts to myself from now on. That’s what I thought. What?! I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class- *THUD*
I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class- -in the Navy- na- -nevermind! Aaauuugh!! *Villager shouts* Look! Food! Delicious!! Palletable! Waft.. Waft.. Waft… *Sniffing* That’s right, smell the food! Smell the food!! *Sniffing* *Crushing & explosions* Noooooo!!
*Crushing & explosions* *Screaming* Why are you screaming!?
*Screaming* It didn’t hit OUR village! Uuuhh at least all the citizens got out. Not- Not all of them… *Fire roaring*
*Ambient panic* *Screaming in pain* Hey!! Are you ok? Yeah! I’m ok. *VillagerTruck wailing* *VillagerWheels grunting*
*VillagerTruck wailing* Who’s on fire?! Uh, he WAS… Huh? No! Noo! *Villager “splashing”*
Nooooooo!! *Villager “splashing”* Who will save us from the beasts?!
Where’s Testificate man?? What do you expect me to do?? I’m just like you! …but better. Why is this happening??! Is it global warming? Oh! Pshh! Prraah! There’s no such thing as global warming! Oh Yea? Well explain THIS! Who said that? I’m warming this gloooobe… Nope, can’t hear you. Calm down everyone! Calm down!! Before we take action,
we need to find out where these giant mobs came from! So we hired a private detective to find out! *Footsteps* Tell me where the giant mobs came from!! They came from- TALK, dammit! There’s no use in resisting! But I’m TRYING to tell you- That’s it! You leave me no choice. *Fearful gasp* THIS! Will allow us to hear your thoughts! NO! No-ho-ho-ho-ho-hoo.. No!! Naaugh! AH! (Villager’s Brain: *in German*: Help, help! Aaugh! Why is this German? I can’t even understand German!) Oh- Oh, my, god! Detective, what does this mean? It means- Uuuh I don’t know.. Quick! We need to hide the body to maintain our cover. Wait, we’re undercover? But…but I’m still alive! Oof! In an unprecedented act of heroism, villagers all around the village have been trying to destroy the beasts on their own! Come at me bro! You don’t scaaare me! I’ll take you down bi- Aaaugh! Aaaugh! Why does no one have any info on the giant mob?! Why do you keep placing doors and bursting through them? Shh! Look! Over there! That’s it! That’s the source of the giant mobs! Come on! Let’s go investigate! *door placing, grunt* *panting* Villager Number 9 here! I’m on the streets asking the locals
how they feel about the giant mobs! I was walking back to my home.. I had just reached the gate- When all of a sudden, BOOM!! I arrived perfectly safe! *Villager-sung Halo theme*
The giant mobs have come to our lands to DESTROY the non-believers! *Villager-sung Halo theme*
And bring harmony…to all of villager kind. We’re all gonna die! Aaaaugh!! *Multiple protesting* Giant mobs have giant feelings! Uh- I don’t like this alleyway…I miss my parents… Aww, is this where they died? What?! They’re not dead!
They just live in another village… *Fire roaring* This is fine!
*Fire roaring* *Fire roaring* As you can see, it’s business as usual here in the village. We place all of our trust in the mayor and his plan. Ha! *Gasp* What is this? Oooo! It’s sparkly! Ooooo.. *Startled yelp* Aaaaaahh! Aaah! *Gasp* The lake is enchanted!
*Screams* But who’s behind this most heinous deed?!
*Screams* (Offscreen) Pay me some attention dammit! Aaaugh! *Screaming continues* No, it’s ok, you can kick it down. Why is the lake enchanted?! Ok, ok! I’ll tell you! I was working on a potion to end world hunger,
by making food really big! ‘Single drop would double the size of any food… I was excited!! I had to show everyone! So I ran out of my house with a potion,
and was headed toward the village- -when all of a sudden,
I tripped!! And the potion! Fell into the LAKE! And that’s how it happened. Did…did you just do it…again? *Giant squid slurping* Breaking news!!
The source of the giant mobs has been found! A lake, north of the village,
has been enchanted! A citizen has volunteered to swim to the bottom
of the lake- -and pull out the plug! *Villages cheering* No, no! Not me. Er, him! *Disappointed grunts* Here! Take this! It will slow the effects of the lake. *Cheering* Yeah! Yeah! Testificate Man is so great!
*Cheering* *Cheering* *Demonic Creeper screech* *Screech echoes* That’s it! We’re done. I’m gonna go play Fortnite until
this all blows over.. *Villager news theme Capella* “END OF PART 1”
*Villager news theme Capella* Villager News! *ᴼʳᶜʰᵉˢᵗʳᵃˡ ᴱˡᵉᵐᵉⁿᵗ ᴬⁿᶦᵐᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵉᵐᵉ* Woo-hoo! You watched our video! If you want to help us make more of them, We’re back on Patreon!! Go check it out! Or, you can get some of our new merch! If you can’t do that, just make sure you like, subscribe, and smash that bell! Thanks for watching!

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