The Profit In Minding P's And Q's

May 6, 1985|By New York Times

NEW YORK — In board rooms across the country, corporate etiquette has become increasingly important for the young executive who wants to climb fast. Corporations are turning in droves to etiquette consultants, who are some of the most sought-after specialists in the management training field.

''There are very few people in it, and the few who are are very much sought after,'' said Debra Benton, whose company, Benton Management Associates of Denver, polishes the manners of top executives.

The awareness of how manners can affect the future of executives has led companies such as Hughes Aircraft, Atlantic Richfield, American Cyanamid, Mobil Oil, Smith Barney and Harris Upham to pay for the services of advisers on etiquette. Fees start at around $25 for telephone inquiries on such tidbits as how to respond to an invitation and the proper way to bow when greeting Japanese clients. Other services include daylong seminars that can cost $1,800 for a group of executives and an intensive weekend package for 10 executives at $54,000.

''Those '60s free spirits have reached their 40s,'' said Letitia Baldrige, White House social secretary during the Kennedy administration and an etiquette consultant for more than 35 years. ''Some are in top management,'' she said, ''and many have bad table manners and use foul language that can be embarrassing to a company.''

''Etiquette is big business,'' said Marjabelle Young Stewart, who has written 14 books on etiquette and serves corporate clients from her office in Kewanee, Ill. ''Everyone has learned how to dress for success in their Brooks Brothers suits. But now they are looking for something extra.''

Baldrige said many young executives do not know basic good manners and have unknowingly thwarted their climb up the corporate ladder. She cited a 29- year-old rising corporate star whose behavior, she said, cost him an assignment in Paris.

''The young man dipped his napkin in the water to clean his tie, left the butter knife on the table, and his boss, needless to say, never mentioned the promotion,'' Baldrige said.

Etiquette consultants said the demand for their services started picking up about three years ago. Some of the reasons cited included the election of Ronald Reagan -- who, according to the consultants, brought a more formal style of entertainment and dress to the White House -- and the baby-boomers, who, after growing up in a ''do your own thing'' era, are being thrust into the professional world and need some polish.

Judi Kaufman, president of Communication Development Associates of Los Angeles, said many corporations want to know how they can pound good manners into otherwise bright, technologically astute young executives. ''Twenty years ago people went to finishing school or had their mothers and fathers around at the dinner table to show them good manners,'' she said.

Kaufman, a former home economist for Bon Appetit magazine, said most of her clients are in their 20s, 30s and early 40s and grew up eating dinner in front of the television set.

''Some of the young executives get so frustrated,'' she said. ''They want to come in and get the answers in a couple of hours. But acquiring good manners takes hard, hard work and a total commitment from the individual.'' She said she sees 50 to 100 executives a month.

William Thourlby, author of You Are What You Wear (New American Library, $2.95) and a forthcoming book on business etiquette, said that in a corporation today, executives can be compared to ambassadors -- when they represent the company, their manners and appearance are a reflection of it. ''We are a nation that trusts what we see, and good manners gives us that feeling of trust,'' said Thourlby.

He added that polished manners indicate a good upbringing, intelligence, education and sensitivity to social and corporate cues.

The demand for the services of these specialists is not confined to the United States; many have Japanese and European clients, as well as American clients who want to know about manners in other countries.