Smelled: a gamey odor downstairs in the basement. Searched for its source but couldn’t find it.

Found: one dead mouse with reddish-brown legs and a white underbelly in the basement bathroom. A deer mouse. Picked it up with tongs, took it outdoors, and tossed it atop a four-foot pile of snow. It was gone by the following day.

Found: bits of foil wrappings and a chunk of nibbled chocolate on the floor of an upstairs closet.

Found: a dusting of chocolate powder when I moved a new plastic jug of Nestles Quik. Discovered a 1/8th by 1-inch hole nibbled near its bottom.

Found: a torn-open bag of Hershey's Kisses.

Placed: chocolate mix canister and kisses in a trash bag. Kept them upstairs so a mouse wouldn’t find the treats again before trash pickup in four days.

Could not find: the mousetraps.

Bio: Brigitte Whiting lives in Maine and often uses settings and experiences from her backyard in her writing. She earned Fiction Writing Certificates from Gotham Writers Workshop and UCLA-Ext and is working on her WVU-MFA Certificate. In addition to facilitating WVU classes, she meets weekly with two local writers' groups. Her poetry group has published a collection of their poems, Wit, Wisdom and Whimsy.

A deep sigh came just as Jason was pulling off the highway onto Route 11. He was close and could feel his back tingling as if his whole spine had suddenly fallen asleep. This happened every time he headed into a small town, no matter the location. His hometown had tainted similar places through memories of loneliness, frustration, and expected yet undeserved sympathy. Due to his small-town avoidance syndrome, Jason had missed housewarmings, weddings, and most family gatherings over the years. But this felt like a worthy sacrifice to maintain a comfortable distance from his childhood. Anxiety was an easy excuse to turn around, but he knew this time must be different. It was unavoidable.

The car’s backseat was filled with clothing & books to the point where most surrounding vehicles had been rendered invisible during the long drive north. Jason never noticed. He rarely checked his blind spots even on a good day. Water bottles were strewn across the floor in front of the passenger seat, along with a half-drunk, now spoiled fruit smoothie from earlier in the week. Burger King bags had joined this pile during his four-hour drive when Jason told himself there were no other options, but in reality, he simply couldn’t contain a craving for chicken fries.

The twenty-four-hour name-brand gas station swiftly came and went as Jason lit a cigarette for the final stretch, a Pavlovian response that kicked in once the Mobil was in his currently imperceptible rear-view. This cigarette would ordinarily last exactly until the third and final stoplight.

He slowed down as he approached the ominous sign he hadn’t seen in almost a decade: ‘Welcome to Warwick: No war, all wicks.’ The awful, outdated slogan induced a heavy, smoke-filled, somber exhale.

The first stoplight. Just over the town line, and unnecessary for about twenty years now. In his youth, this would barely generate a speed reduction, but right now he appreciated the pause. Overpowering his instincts, Jason finally continued after the third light turned green for a third time. He passed the first house on his left and still found something shocking about the fact that this farm still functioned, with a tractor parked in the distance beyond the chicken coop right over the fence, a few yards off the road. He hadn’t seen cows or horses in years. Jason stared for a moment before realizing he was no longer used to the extreme smell that came along with their presence. Forgetting the cigarette in his hand, he quickly rolled the windows up, accidentally bathing himself with smoke, then put them back down just as fast.

The second light and first sign of human life. Another car passed on its way out of town. The fellow driver woke Jason out of his daze as he glanced down and had a moment of panic, remembering the empty gas light came on twenty minutes ago. He flicked the cigarette out, knowing the last gas station for miles was about to come up on his left. As he pulled in, there were no longer any signs of life.

This was a far cry from the station Jason passed right off the highway. It was more of a shed than anything, with multiple warped boards on every side desperately in need of a paint job, even with the half-hearted white streaks that were clearly a recent addition. He wondered if the gas station even took credit cards yet. And if it did, could it be trusted? Any chance they knew what cyber-security was out here?

Jason got out of his car and started debating if it was self-serve when he was startled by a voice from behind the shed.

“No gas!”

The raspy voice grew angrier, yelling “Closed!”

Standing at the clearly functional pump, Jason glanced at his watch, helplessly looked around knowing there were no other options and said: “It’s only 5:20.”

Noticing the barely legible wooden sign propped up by dripping paint cans, Jason’s recent experience made him wonder how a gas station could get any business being open nine-to-five. Then he remembered that filling up your tank was one of many mundane activities that functioned as planned family outings around here, and could hear the older generation of men who prided themselves on avoiding the dreaded ‘city-schedule.’

A woman emerged from the shed, and with a look of recognition said “I’ve got 4:59” in a soft voice.

She appeared to be in her seventies, a beautiful plump woman standing no more than five feet tall and wearing a flowery blue dress that could have been in rotation since the seventies. The current look on her face showed a lifetime’s worth of taking charge, undeterred by the deferential expectations of her youth. This was confirmed as her presumed husband hurriedly came around the corner. To see a tall man in a plaid shirt and ripped overalls cower to this woman’s hushed tone put a smile on Jason’s face. Especially this far upstate.

The husband and wife discussed something quietly before he came over to the pump.

“Cash only” he mumbled, clearly feeling demeaned as his wife watched closely. The man waited to see if Jason could comply with this restriction or would just leave them alone.

Jason opened his car and scrounged together seven dollars, figuring that would be enough to get him back to the highway and twenty-first-century commerce. He pulled his head out of the car and waved her over. “Seven dollars of regular?”

The woman in charge said, “Of course, honey” without moving a muscle. Her husband slowly dragged his feet, kicking up the dry, dusty parking lot in the process.

As he put the handle away, the man started to walk away before locking eyes with his superior and stopping dead in his tracks. He turned to give a halfhearted, “thanks for your business – please come back again,” then scurried away. Defeated.

Jason returned the thanks as he got back in his car. The woman waved stiffly, projecting an appreciation her husband had failed to even fake.

Once back on the road, the cause of the two pointless stoplights became visible. The remaining solid brown bricks were covered in an occasional streak of soot, two sides broken up by a collapsed roof in the center that had turned a once enormous building into two nearly disconnected large ones. The remaining grids of windows that faced the road contained alternately shattered or stained panes of glass, covered in smoke and/or the yellow grime of time.

Even when Jason still lived here, no one spoke of the fire, despite remaining surrounded by remnants of their lost industry. Nothing had changed. If there was no money to replace the welcome sign, then there was certainly no way to rebuild or repurpose the old candle factory that made this a vibrant town for the first couple years of Jason’s youth.

Oddly enough, the burnt façade reminded Jason of the city and the various renovated buildings that now contained overpriced lofts.

Five miles later after a seeming eternity of driving to Jason, the enormous, nearly empty lots of land that each belonged to a single resident gave way to the center of Warwick. Route 11 turned into Main Street for about one mile. The current businesses were always a curiosity, as the revolving storefronts on the ‘outskirts’ of Main street reflected passion projects of friends the landlord currently owed a favor to. A knitting store. A very specific fish-themed jewelry maker. A gallery showcasing a decent artist that would likely remain unappreciated. These were the original Etsy shops.

What looked like a large white farmhouse in the middle of the street had a large black and white sign proclaiming ‘diner’ sitting on the front porch. The single restaurant in Warwick served just about everything and had been a constant since Jason was born, just passing through different hands as the years demanded. Randy’s had once been Ethel’s had once been Daniel’s had once been Tom’s. But this place never went out of business – the head cook just changed as others passed away, retired, or moved away. Those who passed away or retired were memorialized in a gallery on the wall.

Jason pulled over across from Randy’s to take another pause. He could not believe how far he had made it. Into Warwick. Where he had not stepped foot or rolled rubber for nine years. The memories came rushing back, and he was surprised how many of them were pleasant. Daniel always knew Jason’s favorite type of omelet – bacon & sausage, no cheese – and Becky the waitress was his first crush when he was ten. That gallery with the large street-facing window housing a large blue and yellow modernist portrait had replaced the hobby shop’s hanging model airplanes and stacks of board games. Jason had bought his first home soldering kit there and smirked thinking of the time he opened the back of the radio and tore it apart, assuming he could put it back together. It took three years and he had paid for it dearly, but the still-functioning radio now sat among the most prized possessions in his trunk. The one reminder of his childhood that had survived several small apartments.

The third and final stoplight was in view, intimidatingly awaiting his approach. Glancing over at the moderately expensive bottle of wine he bought based on Gina’s recommendation, Jason saw another excuse to further delay his arrival. He knew a three dollar six-pack of Shins would be more appreciated. Even though he couldn’t drink it anymore, remembering a favorite drink, even one he could never forget, would be a better gift than wine that would simply sit on the counter until the tag was re-written and the bottle re-gifted. Jason turned the ignition off and got out of his car. A short walk towards the general store, supermarket, pharmacy, and coffee shop seemed like the best idea.

A loud bell attached to the door rang out as Jason walked into the hybrid store. The two high school girls behind the counter immediately looked over and silenced themselves. The stock boy never broke his momentum, continuing to fill the cooler with Shins. Jason noticed no one was wearing headphones, neither girl had a phone in her hands, and the radio – real radio, not streaming – was eerily playing Benny Goodman over the speakers. Based on this scene alone it appeared the town had kept even the children from technology and Jason couldn’t decide if that was enviable or terrifying. As he walked over to the cooler, one of the girls spoke up.

“Are you Jason Catamount?” she inquired. The other girl looked at her friend annoyed as they both stared waiting for an answer.

“Yes.” Jason stated harshly, still moving but keeping an eye towards the counter.

The cashier cautiously continued, “So I guess you’re back for…,” trailing off as her friend lightly backhanded her arm behind the counter.

After a brief quizzical glance, Jason returned to his mission immediately tripping over the stock boy in the process. This boy – truly a boy of no more than fourteen – fell onto his side into the fetal position that comes from being knocked over while crouching into the bottom shelf of a cooler. As he looked down, a flash came into Jason’s mind of himself laying helpless on his bedroom floor. Frazzled, Jason instinctively leaned down and reached his hand out to help the boy up.

‘Oh God I’m so sorry,’ seemed a little too strong of a reaction, and Jason wasn’t sure if he would offend anyone using ‘God’ like that. Would a simple ‘I’m sorry’ sound too stiff and unapologetic? Maybe ‘my bad.’ Did kids still say that? Did kids in this town ever say that? He did. Just ‘I’m so sorry’ would be fine. Yes. A simple apology with a simple modifier.

As Jason returned to reality, he had already helped the boy to his feet. The kid was now standing and apologizing to Jason. Silent assistance must have felt weirder than saying any of the phrases he had debated. Suddenly and rudely he blurted out, “Can I have a six-pack of Shins?”

The boy reached back into the cooler. As he handed over the beer, Jason recognized the guilt with a hint of fear on this kid’s face, especially while handing him some beers. There was an unmistakable symmetry between the two of them in that moment, both equally eager to blame themselves for any hint of disruption.

Jason now had the beer in his hand and figured it was best to leave this interaction as it was, having learned long ago that talking too much was far worse than walking away when given the choice.

Once the six-pack was dropped on the counter, the second cashier rang up the purchase on the heavy-keyed register, while her initially inquisitive friend grabbed a bag.

“No bag,” Jason stated with a forced smile and friendlier tone, immediately wondering if the young girl felt the rejected offer was due to annoyance with her questioning him after he walked in. Trying to get out of his head, Jason reached for his wallet and then started worrying if this place also took cash only.

The anxiety was getting worse the closer Jason got to his destination and the more he talked with others. He knew he would not be able to have any meaningful conversation today, but he still had no choice other than continuing his journey.

Slowly handing the cashier his card, he assumed he would have to walk out of the store empty-handed. Seemingly noticing that Jason was uncomfortable, the girl worriedly said, “We have a ten dollar minimum,” replacing one concern with another as his eyes saw $4.89 on the register then started scouring the store for any item worth more than $5.11.

She quickly added, “Don’t worry about it,” as the cashier’s friend returned the favor and hit her on the arm lightly, causing guilt to successfully reach the fourth and final person standing in this small shop.

Jason grabbed his card and headed towards the door, suddenly worried by the pattern of sympathy these girls and the woman at the gas station had shown him.

“Mr. Catamount!” He heard behind him. Jason paused without turning around, hoping there would not be any more questions.

“You forgot your beer.”

Jason silently grabbed the beer and scurried out of the store, briskly heading back to his car. He opened the door, slammed it shut and threw the six-pack next to the wine bottle among the garbage populating his passenger seat, knocking more water bottles onto the floor.

The flashbacks continued. Jason was once again sitting in his car, on Main Street in Warwick, having a minor panic attack. At least it was minor for now. He stopped. He breathed. He said to himself it would only be an hour or two before he left.

He audibly counted, “One… two… three…”

The longer Jason panicked, the longer he would be in town. This realization pushed him to start the car and place it into drive. He sat there for a moment with his foot on the brake. Still breathing heavily but slowing himself down… slowly.

A horn blared as Jason almost hit someone while pulling back into traffic. Looking before he pulled out is one of the few safe driving techniques he typically practiced, but he couldn’t think of anything but forcing himself to move forward right now.

The near accident negated all the calming breathing practices Jason’s doctor had taught him, but he pulled right into the road anyways after the other car fully passed by. He caught himself speeding towards it and suddenly hitting the brakes. Almost immediately, the car was crawling at about five miles per hour. Then he slammed the brakes again, bringing the car to a hard stop. Luckily, he was kind of close to the red light. But this wasn’t why he stopped.

The Bar had crept into view. A perfect encapsulation of everything he hated about this town. Full of lonely and frustrated drunks looking for undeserved sympathy. And it had the worst name ever. The Bar. Reflecting the laziness of Warwick even when it was thriving. In just two words. No one wanted to think, they just wanted to be told what to put where on the factory line. Then they wanted to go drink a beer at The Bar. This mindset never left, and it was what Jason hated most about his hometown. Uninspired and afraid of change.

The left blinker flashed, urging Jason to turn onto Catamount Road. At this point, his father was less than a hundred yards away. He just wasn’t sure if it was at The Bar or at his house.

Jason sat at the light as it turned green, then yellow, then red, then green, then yellow, then red. He counted five of these cycles as another ineffective attempt at meditation, trying everything to not look at The Bar or the Catamount Road sign.

Jason was lonely, frustrated, uninspired, and often drunk. Complaining constantly, craving sympathy at every turn. Afraid of leaving his beloved city, afraid of change, and now sitting in his car terrified of facing his father.

About a hundred yards away, Jason’s mother sat by herself, calmly thinking of how she would tell her son his father had died. Looking at the clock, she was not surprised he was almost three hours late but still remained hopeful.

Another horn blared behind Jason. He glanced up at the mirror and saw nothing but himself.

Bio:McCord Chapman has been using his passion for storytelling for his marketing day job for years, but has started writing fiction regularly in the past year. As an avid cinephile and critic, he has always loved bringing characters to life and watching or reading about them. Every aspect of the craft fascinates him as a perfect mix of creativity and structure. McCord joined WVU in December and is working towards his fiction MBA. He will keep writing fiction while leveraging his love of story in day to day life.

We’re late, of course. Won last-minute tickets to a concert at the Greek, the Gipsy Kings, but now parking is impossible. Ten years of driving in LA and the traffic makes me want to move to, I don’t know, Kansas. Then my date points to a spot. “You almost drove past it,” she says. Thirty-nine seconds later we’re speed-walking with three hundred Angelinos and I think we might just make it when the crowd halts. Now it’s a human traffic jam, but, like most highway jams, no one can see the crash. Though that doesn’t stop all of us from rubber-necking. I spot the hold-up. Up ahead, walking, cane-in-hand is the oldest women I've ever seen. She's moving at the speed of dark, and the crowd, now a line, clusters behind her. We hear music, and people groan because now we’re all late.

Twenty minutes later most of the crowd filtered past the bottleneck, except us. We are trapped, and there’s nothing to do. Her gait is algorithmic: pause, cane, pause, left foot…pause. She strains each time to move her right foot. I’d jump ahead, but my date shoots me a look that says if I do she’ll take a cab home. I resign myself to the pace. It doesn’t matter. We’re nearly there. Still, I’m miffed and simultaneously ashamed of my miffedness. We follow her slowly for another ten minutes. Twenty more people crowd behind us. Then she stops. Her seat is of course right in front of ours.

The opening band closes, and the Gipsy Kings walk onstage, not so fast themselves. They’re leathery, regal, obviously masters, nine flamenco guitarists, and one percussionist. One nod and three strikes of the drum ignite the guitars. It’s magic, and it echoes toward us. Simultaneously dancing spreads sequentially like a contagious madness through the crowd. Each row of people sees those in front of them lose their inhibitions and give in to the music. It reaches the ancient woman in front of us, and she abruptly stands up, curving her right arm swan-like into the graceful pose of a much younger woman–a flamenco dancer–and now she dances.

Her hips piston to the beat, staccato and electric. Everyone around me has stopped moving to stare at her agile, refined, and surprisingly athletic movement. The woman must be an actual flamenco dancer, I think and then realize my jaw is slack. I close my mouth. Onstage, the tension in the music builds and breaks like a fever. She doesn’t miss a beat. Next, we feel a crescendo, and then the Gipsy Kings clap fast to the rhythm. Half of the performers clap alternating with the others: syncopated and fast. The crowd joins in, no guitars. It’s the climax, but I’m not watching the stage, I’m watching her. She is the stage. For me, she has become the show. I feel euphoria and an alien urge to kiss her. Luminous and beautiful, she dances nonstop to the music for two more hours. The show ends, applause then silence.

She collects her cane. With it, age washes over her, and she begins her slow walk home.

Bio:Cedar White is an independent author based in Oregon. He is the author of the recently published children’s novel Stripe of Courage available on Amazon.

Heather sighed and shifted almost imperceptibly in her seat, then raised her glass of Prosecco. “Here’s hoping so.”

Heather allowed her friends to pay for her lunch again and then rounded the corner to her Kia. Slipping into the driver’s seat, she felt the sun-drenched pleather sticking to her thighs and closed her eyes to imagine the feel of cool leather cradling her skin. She drove home and pulled into the driveway just as her husband, John, returned home from work.

“Early day, hon?” Heather pecked him on the cheek and linked arms with him to walk up the front steps.

“Not really. I brought some work home. I was too distracted at the office.” John threw his suit jacket onto the sofa, kicked off his shoes, and headed for the kitchen. After grabbing a beer, he straightened up to find Heather leaning on the other side of the refrigerator door. He jumped back, gave a little chuckle, and looked up to see Heather giving him a toothy grin. “What’s up? Did you have a good day?”

“Well, I had lunch with the girls today. Did you know the Janley’s got a new car? That’s the second one in two years. You know, my car is almost five years old. I was thinking I could really use a new one, you know, for safety purposes. Mine is definitely getting a little quirky. It’s also one of the oldest cars in the neighborhood, and with you working for the Company now, we need to keep up appearances, don’t you think?”

John sighed and set his beer on the counter with a thwack. “Look, Heather, we talked about this when I got the job. I know I didn’t get the starting pay we hoped for, but if I work hard, in time I’ll get a promotion. You just have to be patient.”

Heather’s hands flew to her hips and she leaned into John, narrowing her eyes. “Patient? Look around, John. We have the smallest house and the oldest cars in the neighborhood. It’s an embarrassment. I think you need to go in there tomorrow and demand a raise. You’re even bringing work home. Do you think your boss, Alvin, is working at home right now? He’s probably sitting in the hot tub with a gin and tonic.”

John exhaled through his teeth. “Calm down. You’re being ridiculous. I’ll ask for a raise when I think it’s time to ask for a raise.” John snatched his beer off the counter, grabbed a second one from the fridge, and headed upstairs to his office, slamming the door behind him.

Heather stayed in bed the next morning to avoid a confrontation with John. She knew Alvin’s schedule from Trish, so that afternoon Heather pretended to run into Alvin, and then joined him for a cocktail at the Club.

“I love the beautiful earrings you got for Trish.” Heather leaned toward Alvin, giving him a glimpse of her cleavage. At the same time, she caught the hem of her dress with her sleeve and rode it up her leg with a practiced swoop. “You’re such a thoughtful, generous man.”

Alvin leaned back and diverted his eyes. “Look, Heather, I think you’re an attractive woman, and I’m aware that on your husband’s salary he’s not able to provide you with the things you want, but I’m happy in my marriage, and Trish is your friend.”

Heather’s mouth flew open and she quickly smoothed out her dress and sat up straight, her face flashing shades of pink. “Oh.. Alvin! I thought we were just enjoying a drink, and I guess I’ve had a little too much, but I didn’t mean anything.” She leaned forward and grabbed his hand, glanced around and whispered, “Please don’t say anything to Trish, or to John, about this misunderstanding.”

Alvin retracted his hand and rose, turning an eye toward Heather. “I know exactly what this was, Heather, and honestly, I’m embarrassed for you.” Alvin left, leaving Heather mortified. She waited a few minutes, stood up, pulled back her shoulders, and left without looking at anyone in the room.

Heather arrived home, sat down on the sofa, buried her face in her hands, and cried. What was she doing? She had humiliated herself with her friend’s husband. Why didn’t things ever work out for her? It just wasn’t fair that her friends had everything. Didn’t she deserve that too? If only John was more ambitious. She would just have to talk to John again about getting that raise.

Heather heard John on the stairs, stood, and did her best to straighten herself up and wipe her eyes.

“Oh John, you’re home.” John descended the stairs and looked at her from the landing with lips drawn tight and eyes narrowed, but didn’t say a word.

“John? Is something wrong?” John hesitated, and then took giant steps toward Heather, stopping short of knocking her over.

“What were you doing having drinks with Alvin today?”

“What? Who told you that? I mean… what about it?” Heather saw John’s face turn dark red, and suddenly her breathing stopped. John had never been a violent man, but she had never seen him this angry. Oh no, Alvin must have told him she was flirting with him. She stepped back and crossed her arms tightly in front of her.

“Whatever you heard, it was really no big deal. We just ran into each other and had a drink. That’s all.”

John’s arms went rigid as he held back his clenched fists. “Well, Heather, thatinnocent drink just got me fired.”

“What? You’re fired? What are we going to do?” Heather dared look into John’s face, her eyes wide, temporarily forgetting her fear and embarrassment.

John took a step back and shook his head. “ WhatI’m going to do is sell this ridiculous house and move to a real neighborhood. Somewhere I’ll be able to live well on a lot less money.”

“Move? Are you being serious, John? We finally made it to the best zip code. I‘m not going anywhere, so if you’re leaving, you’d better find some way to keep paying for this house too.”

“That’s ridiculous. Heather. Do you want us both to be out on the street? You know there’s no way I could afford that. You’re going to have to decide what you’re going to do, but whatever it is, it won’t be with me.” John left by the front door, and with a click, Heather was alone.

Heather moved trance-like through the house, looking at all the nice things they’d bought over the past few years. Each purchase creating another small rift in her relationship; each high price tag had the added cost of conflict in her marriage. She stopped in front of their wedding photo, remembering how happy she’d once been just to be with John. With a sharp inhale, she turned and ran outside after John, who was just shutting the car door.

John started the car and looked up at Heather with tired eyes. “No Heather. I just don’t trust you anymore. You’re not the same person I married, and I don’t think I’ll ever be as important to you as my money. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

I had plans for that summer and everything changed because of the marbles. But I’m way ahead of myself.

My brothers, Jeff and Mick, hung around Farmer Tom’s place, feeding chickens and riding on the tractor with him, watching while he milked his yellow cow, Bess. I’d been over there a time or two when Mama had shooed me out of the house to go fetch my brothers home for supper. I’d seen Mrs. Farmer a few times, a slight woman with gray hair pulled back loosely into a long ponytail and we’d waved at each other.

Farmer Tom died the last day of June and we were let out of school early, to mourn the loss of a great friend our teachers said, and to get us out of the school building because we couldn’t sit still for excitement. I should have figured something was up when I saw Jeff and Mick whispering intensely with Sam, the undertaker’s son.

Two days afterwards on Saturday, my whole family and me sat scrunched together in a stifling hot church, the fans creaking to push out even hotter air. Mr. Farmer’s coffin sat in front with a single vase of blue forget-me-nots next to it. Mick kept shoving Jeff with his elbow, which jostled me into Mama. Mama looked at the three of us and glared, her lips in a tight line. Finally, she slid between Jeff and Mick. I kept noticing that Jeff and Mick were paying unusual attention to the coffin all the while the Reverend was speaking in his deep sad voice. I sat there wondering about Mr. Farmer and about what I’d do this summer since I kept lists of things I planned to do and at this point, my summer was pretty full up.

I don’t know how long we were in the church but I was about to roast and Mama was fanning herself with the church funeral bulletin. I suppose I should have felt more sadness for Mr. Farmer except I’d never seen him but from a distance and never done more than wave at him and it was so hot, I could barely think. Well, when the Reverend finally stopped droning and Mrs. Chesterfield began to play the piano as loud and lively as she could, Jeff and Mick jumped to their feet. Mama snatched the back of their shirttails but they whispered something to her and she nodded. I noticed she wiped away a tear.

Well, just as the ushers were walking forward to get in line to carry the coffin out, Jeff and Mick followed close behind them and the two of them grabbed a handle on each side. Then the eight lifted the coffin and all went well while they slowly walked down the aisle and through the dark-wood double doors to the steps. Everyone else was making a wild escape out of the church and I had to scoot out quickly so I could watch the coffin being carried down the stairs. I don’t know what happened but one of the eight tripped on the last step down and the coffin lurched as if it was coming alive. The lid opened an inch or two and out flowed a wave of water, it looked like, and the men in front slid on something shiny. The coffin flew upright and out jumped Mr. Farmer in his black suit, whatever breeze there was catching at his cuffs as if he was walking and his arms flailing, and then Mr. Farmer fell on his face with a thud. Mrs. Farmer shrieked and jumped over to him, straightening out his pant legs and tugging his arm to pull him up. Finally, Mr. Farmer was gathered into his coffin again and the lid closed and the procession continued toward his gravesite near the church while Jeff and Mick picked up the marbles. I kept backing up away from the churchyard step-by-step, wanting to see everything but not wanting to be too close. When the last shovelful of dirt was tossed and flattened, I headed for home.

That night at supper, Mama’s mouth was little more than a taut string. She banged bowls of potatoes and beans on the table. Daddy sat at the head of the table. Mick and Jeff squirmed in their seats. I think we all waited for the thunderbolt to happen. Mama asked us for our plates, dished beef stew and potatoes on each of them, and passed them back to us. Daddy said grace. I felt like I could hardly breathe waiting for the cloudburst and being glad it wouldn’t land on me this time. Then she burst.

“How could you! I was so ashamed of you. And Mr. Taylor was your friend.”

So, that’s his name. I half listened and then I realized Mama’s anger was now directed at me. “I didn’t know anything about this,” I said. “Honest. Mick and Jeff didn’t tell me nothing.”

“Mary Lou.” Mama’s blue eyes looked like they could flash lightning. “You will go over each morning and feed Mrs. Taylor’s chickens and each Saturday morning, you will go over and help her with whatever she wants you to do.”

“But it’s summer vacation.”

Mama just glared at me. I looked at Daddy but his face was set like stone in an expression I’d never seen before. I sighed.

“Now everyone eat,” Mama said. “I don’t know what Mrs. Taylor is going to do now, them living on leased land and him no longer here to work it. Life does have its troubles.”

I didn’t say anything further throughout that meal and afterwards I dried the dishes. When I finally could escape to my room, I didn’t feel even like reading which was my favorite thing to do. I just lay on my bed feeling like all my plans had been blown up.

I slept in as long as I could until Mama pulled the quilt from off my eyelids and told me to get up. I could tell from her expression that this wasn't a morning to argue with her. After breakfast, I took my time getting over to Mrs. Taylor’s and I dribbled out the chicken feed figuring if I took too long, nobody would want me back. Instead, Mrs. Taylor thanked me and insisted I come in and share a cup of tea with her, which I had to do to be polite. If Mama found out I was less than polite, who knew what else she’d pile on me but this dawdling was eating into my time. On my way home, I realized if I got to Mrs. Taylor’s about the time the sun rose and hurried with the chickens, I’d be home in time for breakfast and have the rest of the day to myself.

My plan worked out well for a few days but Saturday morning I had to go help Mrs. Taylor in addition to feeding the chickens. I arrived after breakfast, fed the chickens, and then knocked on her front door. She didn’t look like she was expecting me so I had to explain why I was there. She let me in. The kitchen was tidy, the floor sparkling clean and there wasn’t a particle of dust anywhere so this was going to be easy.

“Come in, Mary Lou,” she said. “Let’s have a cup of tea before we begin.”

Though I felt grown up sipping tea out of a fine china cup with pink roses and a matching saucer, I was tensed up anticipating what she had in mind. I kept eyeing the clock that tick-tocked on the mantelpiece and seemed to me for every minute the clock moved forward, it must have moved back a half one. I was nervous about breaking something so I finally quit drinking anything at all and looked over her shoulders through the window for something that needed to be done outside.

“What I’d like more than anything with Mr. Taylor gone, God rest his soul, is to have you read to me. Mr. Taylor used to every evening in his lovely deep voice.” She sighed, and I felt a breeze of sadness float over me.

I scanned the room and then spotted four shelves loaded with thick leather-bound volumes. It would take an eternity to read all those out loud. “That’s probably more than I could possibly do. I’m only eleven, going into the sixth grade. I’m sure you’d hate to hear me stumble through them.”

“Let’s try it anyway, shall we?”

I was her prisoner, what else could I do but agree, and so I watched as she set the china cups and saucers next to the sink and then walked into the living room and stood in front of the bookcase. I wasn’t sure whether I should get up from the table or go in and suggest which book might be interestingto start with,as if I would have known. We didn’t have books at home so I borrowed as many as I could. Mama didn’t know it but I’d gotten a card from the town library, too.

Anyway, Mrs. Taylor came back into the kitchen with a thin book and I breathed a sigh of relief inside. Pilgrim’s Progress. I kept reminding myself of Mama’s thin mouth and the tight lines on her face when she’d told me I’d have to do whatever Mrs. Taylor wanted me to do the whole summer so I knew I had to stay.

“Maybe we could share reading,” I said, hoping she’d jump at the bait and then I’d just let her keep on reading while I feigned interest.

She handed me the book and sat there still and quiet, breathing in and out quite normally. “Go ahead, Mary Lou.”

I opened to the first page and began to read and somehow it turned out to be a lot easier than I’d expected and it was noon hardly before I knew it and I was free to go. I looked forward to the next Saturday but I wasn’t going to let anyone know that.

And that was how July and early August went: I was up each morning with the chickens, pardon the pun, and by now I’d named them all and learned their different personalities, and each Saturday morning I’d read another two or three chapters in Pilgrim’s Progress and we were almost through the book and I was beginning to wonder what we’d read next. I don’t know what possessed me though and the third Saturday of August I slipped in a few other papers and when it was time to read, I read those. Well, Mrs. Taylor stopped me cold with her words, “What’s that you’re reading?”

“Well,” I said fetching for some quick excuse. “I figured we’re almost through Pilgrim’s Progress so I thought a change might be nice.”

“Tell me what it is you’re reading.” Her eyes, I noticed for the first time, were brown but in them was a sternness I had not figured on.

“My writing,” I muttered almost under my breath. I took my pages and scrunched them into my jeans’ pocket. “I like to write.”

“No, no, go ahead. I quite enjoy it for a change.”

I pulled out the papers and smoothed them out. I’d never felt this before, my heart feeling like birds flying inside, all free and happy like when they chirped good mornings to each other on summer mornings. I read what I had and Mrs. Taylor laughed until she cried. I was greatly encouraged. When I finished the pages I’d brought, I asked her if I could read her more next week and she nodded.

So for the next two Saturdays, I brought what I could of what I’d written. And something else happened because we started to talk to each other like one woman to another and I found out she wasn’t that different from me and that being older didn’t mean that you’d become someone stern and only concerned about grownup things. I’d ask her about her childhood and she’d tell me all sorts of stories which, when I remembered them later, I wasn’t sure whether they were entirely true or not but it didn’t matter because here I was able to talk and laugh with a lady who was much older and wiser than me.

The Saturday before school was to start, I knocked at Mrs. Taylor’s door and a woman I’d never seen before opened the door.

“Come in, Mary Lou,” Mrs. Taylor called from somewhere in the back of the house. “This is my daughter Lisa.”

I thrust out my hand and she barely touched my fingers.

“So this is the girl who reads to you each Saturday, Mother?”

Mrs. Taylor walked into the room and she looked different like she was both glad and sad to see me, and I could see she’d been crying. “I’m leaving today. Lisa’s insisted I come live with her. Since Mr. Taylor died, I haven’t been able to keep up with the farm lease payments. It’s for the best but I’ll miss our times together.” Her words sort of hung in the air and then they fell with a crash to the floor and I wanted to pick them up and somehow cradle them and make everything back to what it was.

“It’s not for the best! Isn’t there another way? You could come live with us.” I tried very hard not to, but I burst into tears, big sobs that just tore through me, and I felt like a little girl again. I finally was able to stop, and I stood there clutching the packet of papers I’d had the foresight to put into a used manila envelop that I’d scrounged from Mama. “Why do you have to leave? You’re the only friend I’ve ever had.”

I helped with packing the china cups and saucers in newspaper. When we were finished, there weren’t many boxes of things from a lifetime, which surprised me. The three of us somehow tied a rocking chair to the top of the Chevy, set an ornately carved jewelry box, that Mrs. Taylor said was a wedding gift from Mr. Taylor and that he’d carved himself, on the backseat, along with a couple of boxes of wood-framed family photos I’d never noticed before and fervently wished I’d paid more attention all the times I’d been there. My envelope of papers was on the kitchen table and I placed a newspaper on top.

After lunch, Lisa left me and Mrs. Taylor to sit in the living room and I asked her if she wanted me to read to her for a bit. She shook her head. What I really wanted to do was to ask her if we could talk even though I didn’t know what I’d ask her and the time seemed so short that I couldn’t even think of what I might have wanted to hear so we sat there and I understood what silence being deafening meant.

Then Mrs. Taylor cleared her throat and reached over and patted my hand. “I don’t want to leave but I have no choice. It’s like losing Mr. Taylor all over again. It’s like losing your whole life.” She pursed her lips tight and took a deep breath that she held for the longest time. “I’ll miss you, Mary Lou.” She stiffened and pulled her hand back and walked into the kitchen where she found my manila envelope. “Are these for me?” She looked at me squarely with her brown eyes telling me something I couldn’t decipher. “Thank you. I’ll cherish these,” she whispered. “I won’t ever forget you, our Saturday mornings together.” She smiled and her whole face lit up.

I didn’t know at the time what any of this meant except that I felt like if someone had tapped me, I would have sounded hollow because all the life had gone out of me. I’d spent all week copying everything I’d written with the intention of readinga bit from them for the rest of the summer and maybe we could have continued into the fall and winter. And all that planning was ending right now and I didn’t know whether to run and hide or to act as grown up as I could. “Yes,” I said. “For you.”

I helped with carrying the last of the boxes out of the house. Mrs. Taylor alternated between a few sobs and telling me she wasn’t moving but sixty miles away and maybe I could come visit her but for me, those sixty miles may as well have been half around the world.

At three o’clock that afternoon, Lisa said, “I think we’re finished here, Mother. I’ll let you two say your good-byes.” She walked out of the house with the last box, set it behind the driver’s seat, and settled herself in behind the wheel.

I stood on the stoop next to Mrs. Taylor. She still clutched the manila envelope in one arm and then squeezed me so tight with her other arm I could barely breathe. “We’d never have become friends if it weren’t for the marbles,” she whispered. “Mr. Taylor would have enjoyed seeing all the commotion for his sendoff.”

She squeezed me again and then gripped my hand while we walked down the flagstone pathway to the car and she let go when she slid into the car. I pushed the door shut, Lisa started up the engine and Mrs. Taylor mouthed “I’ll miss you,” tears in her eyes. I stepped back while the car rolled away down the dirt road, watched until the last puff of dust was gone.

Bio: Brigitte Whiting lives in Maine and often uses settings and experiences from her backyard in her writing. She earned Fiction Writing Certificates from Gotham Writers Workshop and UCLA-Ext and is working on her WVU-MFA Certificate. In addition to facilitating WVU classes, she meets weekly with two local writers' groups.

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