Monday, 20 August 2012

I’d like to have a quick conversation about my favourite
superhero. I know what you’re thinking. ‘What, the fish guy? The blonde surf-douche
with the fruity sequined top? No way!’

Stop laughing! Look at the whales!

But hear me out. Don’t focus on his time with the super-friends.
Even Batman was a little bit crap once upon a time – remember the days when he
wore light grey and sky blue? Played by Adam West? The same is true of Aquaman.
You just need to appreciate the potential. You don’t even know his real name,
do you? You know Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent and maybe even the various names of Robin. Aquaman has two real names. His Atlantean name is Orin. His human name
is Arthur Curry, adopted son of a lighthouse keeper. It's all quite confusing.

Read my 100% convincing 6-point argument that proves Aquaman is awesome, right after the click!

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

For the past year or so the advertising industry (in the US
especially) has been wading into the fight for gay rights vs the sanctity of
marriage or something. Adverts and brands are now banners beneath which armies
gather.

Before I talk about homosexual issues I feel like I should
qualify my feelings on the subject. Sexuality is like the sea: mysterious,
ever-changing, nearly impossible to properly measure, quite polluted and full
of sharks.

But if you’re careful you can jump those
sharks

If people want to connect themselves to one another in the
eyes of some mythical overlord, or in the eyes of the law (also a kind of
mythical overlord) then I’m fine with it as long as they put on a good buffet
and a free bar. Regardless of whether they’re bride/bride, groom/groom or
groom/bride (which isn’t always a reflection of gender anyway) my only question
is whether I’m invited. The answer is usually no; everyone is afraid of what I
might do when exposed to limitless alcohol. Their lack of faith disturbs me.

There’s no practical
reason to deny homosexual couples the same legal rights that heterosexual
couples ‘enjoy’, there’s only ideological hyperbole*.

*In a decent thesaurus those two words are synonyms for ‘insane
ranting’

With that seriousness out of the way, let’s get to business!
Gay business! Hit the jump for some gay business!