Here's One Of The Best Stories About Feuding Ice Cream Truck Drivers You Will Ever Read

Gloversville, New York Sno Cone Joe driver Joshua Malatino does not take kindly to the competition encroaching on his turf. So when his rival, Mr. Ding-a-Ling (not making that up, btw), sent their own driver to the area, Mr. Malatino responded as one does in this type of situation: by harassing the other driver, giving out free ice cream to try drive him out of business, and basically turning into a mob boss from a low-budget, straight-to-DVD crime movie until he was arrested and charged with harassment and misdemeanor stalking.

Below, please find some real and punched-up quotes from a movie I have tentatively titled Tough Streets And Rocky Roads.

“You don’t have a chance!” Malatino yelled to the 53-year-old Mr. Ding-a-Ling driver on one of his first days in Gloversville, according to court documents. “This is my town!”

“Why don’t you and your Ding-a-Ling pals go back to where you came from?”

Police said Malatino called the Mr. Ding-A-Ling headquarters in Latham and told them “I own this town!” and, police said, claimed “that his business controls the ice cream sales market in the city of Gloversville.”

“I run these streets, Mr. Ding-a-Ling!”

“He’s always following my guys, playing his music loud, giving out free ice cream,” Collis said. “Every year he calls up and says ‘Who do you think you are, putting another truck in this town?'”

“This is Sno Cone Joe territory! If I see one Mr. Ding-a-Ling truck north of 22nd, we go to the mattresses!”

I see no way this doesn’t end with Malatino having a daughter who grows up and falls in love with the son of a Mr. Ding-a-Ling driver.