Tips From The Mind Of a Gloriously Bonkers Erotic Author

The alarm rings. Somewhere in the house, Radio 5 Live starts to play. I sigh deeply, turning around to grab a hold of my beloved, who despite needing to leave for work doesn’t really seem that keen on it today.

I’ll get up too, I think to myself. Drink coffee, eat sammich, get to stepping and work on my new story. Yes, that’s what I’ll do, and I’ll do it well.

7.45 AM.

The door closes downstairs. My boyfriend has gone off to work. My current state can only be described as still naked, still half asleep. Somewhere, the cat mews.

9.30 AM.

I wake up and drag myself to my computer, first opening everything else in the world before I realize that reading my Twitter feed and catching up on what Stephen Fry had for breakfast (I don’t even follow him… which is a crime, I know) isn’t going to get 1000 words down on the page.

I close down and get to work.

D’you know what? This repeats itself every single day. In various forms, mind, but it’s a pattern I can’t really get rid of. I’d like to be the one that’s up and about with the daisies and on the laptop writing her latest thingamabob, but it’s just not happening. Not yet.

Every writer has his or her way of going about their day. It’s interesting to study people’s routines and mindsets. Especially when your own mindset appears to be made out of hurriedly-scurrying butterflies. I don’t have a method for writing a story. I don’t know if that’s something that comes with time and that I’ve not been doing it for long enough to have a specific method. But what I do right now does work for me. On occasion.

I do, however, have some things that I’ve learned so far. I’m sure I’ll learn a lot more as I go along, but here are some things you might like to know about writing erotica.

· Do your research. Know who you’re writing for and know what it is you’re writing. There are so many genres out there, so research is definitely worth it.

· Don’t expect to be accepted from the first go. Speaks for itself, doesn’t it?

· Don’t be afraid. Being afraid (of anything you write, the reactions to your story,…) will stunt you in your writing.

· Know your basic sexual anatomy! It doesn’t mean you need to be clinical in writing sex, but for God’s sake, a penis goes in a vagina (or bum) and not in a belly button!

· Don’t aspire to be the next something-or-other. Aspire to be the first you.

· And above all, don’t ever refer to a penis as a lance of love. Just, don’t.

There, from my mindbeams to yours, a few tips to get you going. Now, get out there and write bloody good erotica!

(extra tip : caffeine helps).

About Jillian Boyd:

Jillian Boyd, aka The Barenaked Lady, is a blogger and erotic author. She is the brains behind Lady Laid Bare, a blog about sexual evolution and revolution. Her stories have been published by the likes of Constable and Robinson and Cliterati. In her spare time, she wants to make the world better, one hand-knitted scarf at a time. Find her at ladylaidbare.com/

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