I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Monday, February 22, 2010

My Worst Nightmare Sure Is Tasty!

You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you; and My people shall never be put to shame. Joel 2:26

It seems to me that people that say the "Old Testament God" was only vengeful are selective readers. I was feeling really badly yesterday, but then I read this verse and I smiled. During the day I would repeat to myself, "I never will be put to shame." I had had a friend send me a hurtful email and the Biblical verse was a real comfort to me last night.

It also reminded me of a dinner I cooked a couple days ago using...ground beef! Okay, so ground beef perhaps doesn't sound that exciting, but it is one of my #1 fear foods. I made it into a chili, which once again, is about the most normal dish for ground beef for most people, but this was the first time I made chili with ground beef - usually I use ground turkey.

Here are my ingredients:1/2 OnionMcCormick Chili Seasoning1 Can Pinto Beans1 Can Diced Tomatoes1 Garlic Clove1 Package Steamfresh Green Beans1lb Ground Beef2 T Olive Oil(I had meant to use roasted red pepper hummus as my secret ingredient again, but I forgot... Dope!)Brown the ground beef in the olive oil with minced garlic and onion. Then dump in the seasonings and the can of tomatoes.Add both kinds of beans. The green beans ended up being the yummy not-so-secret-secret in the chili, because they provided great crunchiness. I originally added them so that the meal would be well rounded, but it turned out that their crunchy texture was a nice contrast to the mushiness of everything else.You had potatoes baking in the oven during this, right? This was only my second time baking potatoes and this time I had wrapped them in aluminum foil first and it made them cook a lot faster, although I still had to have them in the oven at 400 degrees for an hour. Put the chili on top of the potatoes and add cheddar cheese and sour cream.

So starchy and so protein-y - this meal was my worst nightmare not that long ago. Apparently nightmares are really tasty!

I've been thinking a lot lately about the fact that sometimes we really want something and we wait and we prepare for this great thing and then when we get it, we decide it's really not that great. And then sometimes we fear something and then we eventually come to the realization that it really wasn't something scary after all. Life is funny that way. I'm reading the book, "The Parable of the Sower" by Octavia E. Butler and the book is all about how "God is change." It's true. God is also Love. I hope you are able to feel loved by Godde today.

About Me

I'm a fierce smashing-the-patriarchy Christian feminist spreading the word that hope is real for people with mental health and chronic pain challenges. I do NAMI In Our Own Voice presentations, endorse Dialectical Behavioral Therapy(DBT) and baking cupcakes. I am in recovery from borderline personality disorder, an eating disorder and bipolar II. I work on managing my anxiety. I consider myself living in recovery, because mental illness and chronic pain no longer control my life.
If you would like me to speak to your organization about living in recovery from mental illness, please email me.