Monthly Archives: November 2012

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While I am thinking about Bill O’Reilly (see my last post, you’ll get what I’m talking about), I thought that I would comment on something that he recently said. In an interview with David Silverman, O’Reilly was talking about the “war on Christmas.” A fantasy that Christians have dreamed up in order to get sympathy from the public. It has never, and will never exist. Kids can still sing Christmas carols (a contention that Glen Beck said they could not), people can still say “Merry Christmas.” I have heard it plenty of times for as far back as I can remember. So yeah, this is a mute point. But when this interview turned into another yelling duet, as all of O’Reilly’s interviews do, O’Reilly decided to point out a rather interesting thing that he believes –

It is a fact that Christianity is not a religion. It is a philosophy.

Really? That’s a point you’re really making? Okay, let’s examine this. For real, let’s take this position and really take it apart, because I want to show you how and why you’re dead wrong.

First, let’s examine what a philosophy claims.

For instance – there is an argument that was put forth by Hume that since all we can know that exists in this world is what we perceive, there can be no supernatural. Only what one perceives is real. Kant believed that all moral judgments are based on human nature. We get our morality from what we naturally are inclined to do. He also claimed that all events must have a cause. What was uncaused cannot be. Aristotle claimed that no emotions are virtues, and that virtue is something beyond that. These are among the myriad of philosophical arguments.

Here is one of my own – I believe that morality is a system, given to us by those of authority. They are a code of behaviors that are designed to keep people in line. I believe that instead of following a system that can be tailored and exploited by the corrupt, we should instead try and use our empathy in order to achieve a true morality that is not tied to any group or leader. See how that works?

These philosophical tenants, or beliefs, if you must, are made by individuals that correlate with things that are perceived in the real world. Even questioning reality, as some philosophers have, is still an assertion made with an understanding of what the real world is. These beliefs cannot be tailored by the supernatural.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at Christianity. Christianity is a belief system that tells people how the universe came in to be, has a series of stories that almost all involve the supernatural, and tells its audience not to question these beliefs, as that would make them wrong. They make assertions that are not allowed to be questioned, and go outside of the realms of their own understanding in order to make correct.

I mean, look at the story of the beginning of life on Earth. God creates the planet, moon, Sun, life and man in six days, while napping on the seventh. Oh, and he also created billions of other galaxies as an afterthought. No worries. Then, he creates a guy and his chick (from his rib, if you believe one of the two Genesis creation stories) and tells them not to eat a fruit, but then, a talking snake tells them that they should, and when they do, they are suddenly self-aware. And when they do this, evil sky-wizard decides to banish them and curse the world they lived in. If you follow O’Reilly’s logic, that’s a philosophical argument.

The argument that Christianity is not a religion flies in the face of philosophy. Christianity asks you to accept what you know is false. The whole point of philosophy is that if it’s proven wrong, the theory must be adjusted. Christians don’t do that. They try and adjust reality to fit their narrow vision. Back when we didn’t understand earthquakes, the reason for them was because God was mad. Back when we didn’t understand the water cycle, rain was because God opened up a firmament between Heaven and Earth. All of these things have been proven wrong by science. We know the reason for earthquakes. We know the reason for rain. We also know that man didn’t get created a few thousand years ago. We came to be in this world from a slow, gradual process called evolution by natural selection. We know this, beyond any form of doubt.

But to the religious, this is unacceptable. They have to have their beliefs make sense. Since the world of science doesn’t allow that, they turn to something else. Their beliefs, by understanding what a religion is, are centered around the contingent that they cannot be proven, and must therefore be taken on faith. Belief in something without evidence. That is NOT a philosophy. And any argument that it is is folly and ridiculous.

But here’s the thing that really interests me about O’Reilly’s statement – why are Christians making this argument? O’Reilly isn’t the first. I have heard this argument from other Christian apologetics. But why do this? Well, that’s pretty obvious – the bad press.

For the bulk of its time on Earth, Christianity has been giving religion a bad name. This isn’t to say that all Christians are bad, because that isn’t true. Some atheists will make that argument, but I am not among them. I know that that is false, and I won’t stand behind it. However, that said, the actions of the church at large have been monstrous. The Catholic church has a vast history of genocide, murder, rape, robbery and child molestation. The number of individual cases is unthinkable. There isn’t a single brand of Christian, aside from the super-PC liberal ones that try and pass God off as a cool guy who you could smoke a joint with who don’t have some blood on their hands or dirt on their shoes. The Christian religion has such an ugly history, and is still being ugly today in a way that those who follow it are trying very quickly to walk away from it. They want to re-brand this belief system as something far less horrible than what it is.

The fact is that Christianity is a religion. That’s a fact. But I find this new wave of argument interesting because it says one thing to me – Christians are becoming ashamed to be associated with their religion. Here’s my question, then – why not leave it? It worked pretty well for us atheists. Losing that whole pointless guilt complex worked wonders.

Until next, a quote,

“Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.” -George Carlin

Oh Bill…I always have found you funny. Your racism has been a source for my amusement in the past. You are so delightfully stupid. There isn’t a single grain of intelligence anywhere inside of that little head of yours that still doesn’t understand how tides work. And when you pwned on that, you then tried to say that we don’t know how the moon got there. Which we do. Your stupidity is just great. We love you, Bill. You’re a great guy. People like you should be in a museum somewhere, making millions of little children happy. And the best way that you can make us happy now is by showing us your racism.

See, apparently, Bill O’Reilly can’t wrap his mind around “Gangnam Style.” This dance style has been parodied in all sorts of ways (here’s a link to my personal favorite 🙂 ). It became a viral sensation almost the moment that it went on to YouTube. With over 800,000,000 views to date, that’s pretty crazy. Especially for a video from South Korea. But props to the guy who made it, PSY, it is pretty funny to watch. But to O’Reilly, this just was too confusing. So, he decided to bring on his psychiatrist friend to try and make sense of this. Let’s see what they come up with. As always, here’s a link to the original video, so you know I’m not pulling this out of my ass. Let’s see what O’Reilly has to say.

Here to help explain the madness is Dr. Keith Ablow.

The madness? What is mad about this video, Bill? I am a quiver with curiosity.

Alright, so the guy, remember the pony? I think he’s doing a pony!

Well, you’ve shown that you can see. That’s a good first step. Maybe a little more education and you can learn to read! It’s hard watching them grow up…

People like a sick beat? I should tell you up-front, that there will be two people speaking in this, and I will keep things color-coded so you know who’s who. Red is O’Reilly, and blue is his little friend.. This is O’Reilly, being really, really stupid.

Well look, there will be those who dismiss this as having no meaning. As just being a good beat, and a lot of fun. I won’t be one of those dismissing it.

Well, you’re gonna be no fun to listen to.

Because when you approach a billion views on YouTube, and surpass Justin Bieber (YAY!), perhaps you’re tapping into something.

Again, that people like a sick beat. What is so complicated about this that makes it so hard for you to understand?! I don’t get how you can be this stupid! It really is just people liking a sick beat, and a cute little Korean man doing a funny dance. That’s it. My cousin went as PSY for Halloween, and I thought it was adorable. How hard is this to get? I legitimately think you are idiots.

And I think what this fella is tapping into is in fact, this PSY, P-S-Y,

Okay, you can spell. That’s a good thing for a guest on Bill’s show to be able to do. Hopefully you can teach him how to.

is tapping into the fact that people don’t want any meaning.

Uh…what?

Right now. Music, the most popular music is apparently that without intelligible words, to some extent.

No, you can’t be this stupid. You can’t possibly be this racist and stupid. It’s in Korean, you jackass! The language of this song is very clearly in Korean. You can understand every word, because this song does have a meaning. It is trying to convey a message. But apparently, you didn’t take the time out to do any real research, so your stupid fucking Fox News viewing base who can’t find their own cocks with two hands and a road-map don’t have to think too hard. Ugh…

That simply conveys it to a distant place, beat-wise. Doesn’t try to convince you of anything. And does try to raise your emotions. It just is sort of like a drug.

You’re so dumb! Like a drug?! What the hell does that mean?! Are you going to OD on PSY? That…sounds kind of fun, to be honest with you. But let’s keep going. It’s just getting to the funny bits.

And that seems to be what most people want right now. Not reality, not feeling, not meaning.

Okay, you stupid “Dr.” I’m gonna fill you in on something. This song actually does have a meaning. It’s a satire. See, PSY is satirizing the Gangnam District, in Korea. It’s where the primarily rich people live. PSY is making fun of that culture. He also happens to be doing it with a sick beat. But you’re inability to see this, and make racist remarks about not understanding it is just hilarious, because it shows that not only does Fox News not care that it’s racist, but it also doesn’t care that it’s stupid. This network is openly stupid. Does anyone remember that video on The Daily Show with Fox and Friends, where Jon Stewart (who recently turned, 50, by the way! Happy Birthday, Jon!) asked the question of if Fox News was “evil or stupid?” Well, now we know. They’re stupid. Just stupid.

Alright, so it means nothing, but it’s got a nice up-beat to it, and you can do the pony and ride around. That’s it, right?

No, Bill, it’s not. But I understand. You’re not smart enough to comprehend satire, symbolism, or anything approaching intelligence. So, we’ll let you off the hook this time.

Yeah, I think that the meaning is that it has no meaning.

*Facepalm*

It is the son of Facebook, if you will.

Wait, what?! The “son of Facebook?” Is the implication here that Facebook has no meaning? Wow, how can you be that dumb?! Facebook has a very clear meaning. It’s an extension of the human social network. Connections that you make in the real world go online. We all are connected through these social mediums, and they allow people who made connections to continue those connections when they head off in different directions. Facebook has revolutionized the social experience. It’s a lot like Sean Parker’s character said in the film. “First we live in towns, then we lived in cities, and now we’ll live on the internet!” That is a huge meaning. But you are too stupid to get that?! No wonder Bill’s audience never got any smarter watching him.

The false face that so many people now put on their lives. The lack of insight, if you will, is reflected in this person’s popularity.

You ever read those really famous political philosophers that sound really pretentious and dumb, and you can’t stand listening to them, because it sounds like they are just pulling stuff out of their ass to sound smart? Well, that’s exactly what this is. You want to talk about meaning – this quote has no meaning. You said nothing. And you want to sound smart saying nothing. Congrats.

I don’t see anything wrong with this. You know, if you want to waste your time looking at this, or you like the beat, I don’t see anything wrong with that. You might lose a few pounds jumping up and down like a pony. That might help out. So I don’t see anything wrong with this. Is there anything wrong with this?

Wow. O’Reilly said something sensible. I don’t know what to think. In all his stupidity, he actually said something relatively smart. I don’t know who I am anymore. Oh, and to answer your question, no there isn’t. But I’m sure your pretentious “Dr.” has a different opinion.

Well look, is there anything wrong with it? I guess I’d say this – to the extent that you revel in things that don’t speak to you, that you use something to transport you away from real thought and deep feeling,

Two things you know nothing about.

yeah, there’s something wrong with it.

I can’t wait to hear your explanation. Enlighten me, oh pretentious one. What is wrong with this cute little Korean man making a satire video against rich people?

Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! Elvis Presley was watched seven times a day, that might not be good. Why would this be?It’s the same as getting high. In miniature.I don’t agree.

Was O’Reilly just the voice of reason? What the fuck?!

So yeah, that was our little clip of O’Reilly and his stupid little pretentious friend. Wasn’t it fun? I hope I brightened your day. Or enraged you at how stupid this is. Either way… 😀

Until next time, a quote,

“Stupidity isn’t punishable by death. If it was, there would be a hell of a population drop.” – Laurell K. Hamilton

I love old music. It’s not a mystery to the people who know me that I have a deep affinity for music from way back in the day. I love Frank Sinatra, Johnny Mathis, all those guys, and some gals, who made music so much fun back then. But there is something about their music that very few people talk about – how dirty it was! For real, some of the most pleasant old-school songs are so dirty. I love it!

For example, have you ever really taken the time out to get to know the lyrics of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside?” I don’t think you have. Of course not. It sounds nice, and it’s a Christmas classic. Nobody ever invested a lot of time into paying attention to the lyrics. I never did either, until one year, I was wrapping Christmas presents, and I actually did take the time to pay attention to what Dean Martin was singing. He wasn’t trying to get that girl to stay for romantic reasons. He was trying to get into her pants. I mean, how could it be anything else? He keeps insisting that she stays, alludes to her taking her clothes off, and talks about how beautiful and delicious she is. He’s not fishing for love. He’s fishing for tapping her ass. Repeatedly.

And don’t you come on here and say I’m wrong. You know I’m not. You know that that song is a classic piece of music that is specifically about getting some pussy. I don’t have a problem with that. I just think its so funny how many people won’t believe that. Or how many people will say that I’m wrong about Sinatra. Now, he is probably my favorite of the 50’s musicians. This guy was not only a good singer, but he was also a mobster! He was tied in to the mob. That’s awesome! I love that. But if you have ever listened to “The Way You Look Tonight,” he isn’t talking about a girlfriend. He doesn’t even say that he is in a relationship with the girl he is remembering for how hot she was. He just says that he will remember her. Or, listen to “My Kind of Town.” That song had him talking about all the action he got in Chicago, and how much he loves that town. These are classic songs, and they are specifically connected to Sinatra’s sex life, not his love life.

Like I said, I’m not dogging. For real, I’m not. I love that song. I love everything Sinatra has made. But some of these old songs are not only dirty, but some of them are kind of disturbing. Anybody remember the tune “Mack the Knife?” That song tells the story, backwards, of a man who rips off the mob, is trying to skip town, and gets murdered by the mob hit-man, Mack the Knife. It even goes into detail. Not to the point of being gross, but enough to let us know what happens to the guy Mack kills. It describes a shark ripping the dead body of this guy open. Yeah, that’s pretty fucking sick. I love this song, but I acknowledge what it is. And so should you.

So, what is the point of this long and rambling bit of nonsense? Well, the point is that we need to stop thinking that the old days were as pure as the fresh snow, or a Kansas virgin (if such a thing exists). The reality is that teenagers were having just as much sex, and teen pregnancy rates were larger then than they are now, mostly due to comprehensive sex education and the availability of birth control and condoms. Kids back then were having sex, doing drugs and being crazy. The only difference is that we didn’t see it as much back then. When some dumbass kid back then drove his dad’s Buick into a tree, we didn’t see it. Now, we have YouTube, where every dumbass teenager’s acts are on display, and get millions of views.

The Leave it to Beaver view of the 40’s and 50’s isn’t nearly as accurate as modern conservatives wish it was. In fact, since no family is that nice, I have a theory that when the camera was off them, Beaver’s dad was beating his mom, and his older brother and his friend Eddie were having gay sex in the back room. For real, have you ever noticed how incredibly tight Wally and Eddie were? Yeah, there was something going on. Not to mention, if you ever watched the show The Honeymooners, the husband of the show literally threatened to punch his wife in the face every episode. And we cheered this. That’s a classic piece of television. But read between the lines, and that’s kind of sick. I’m not saying that it was bad television, but I am saying that it isn’t as pure as we want it to be.

I’m not against enjoying stuff from back in the day. I’m really not. But can we please stop with the accolades of how those were “more innocent times?” I mean, it wasn’t. It just wasn’t. We had singers singing about getting fucked, and we had a TV show with an abusive husband that we laughed at. This is the reality of the situation. And while it was funny, it was also pretty dark, in a lot of ways. But, that’s how something that makes you laugh should be. It should tap in to the dark part of you a bit. But that’s just me.

This is the first of what will be many posts about the absurdities about the holiday season. I hope you all enjoy them, and the season too.

Until next time, a quote,

“Mom, dad, I like Potsie. No, I mean I REALLY like Potsie.” -Richie Cunningham, Family Guy

Why do I do this? Why do I subject myself and my little free time to finding thing that piss me off? I don’t look for them. They find me. I’m just minding my business, checking on YouTube, when I see this lovely little tidbit. Andrew Craibe, a Major for the Salvation Army, was asked by two gay journalists if they deserve to die. And his response was so incredibly bigoted, it’s almost amazing –

Well, it’s a part of our belief system…You know, we have alignment to the Scriptures, but that’s our belief.

This guy is amazing. Not only is he probably the stupidest person ever to be in a televised interview, but he also decided to sink the Salvation Army into yet ANOTHER PR nightmare. Anyone remember back in 2004 when the Salvation Army threatened to close their soup kitchens in New York, rather than allow equal benefits for domestic partners? Or how about when they were working with political groups to stop gay marriage being legalized in many states. It isn’t exactly a secret that the Salvation Army is run by anti-gay bigots. That’s just a fact. Regardless of what good they end up doing, they are still bigots. But now, as if being known for their bigoted behavior wasn’t bad enough, they are deciding to just go balls-to-the-wall and say that gay people should die.

Un-fucking-believable. They can’t be this stupid. No company can be this stupid! I mean, when Chick-fil-A came out against gay marriage, at least they were measuring out what they were supporting. They knew that America is filled with bigots, but they didn’t go too far. They knew where the line was. As bigoted as this country is, there is no fucking way that you can get these people to actively desire death upon people. That’s just going too far.

Now, the Salvation Army has tried to mend this situation, with a statement saying that all human life is sacred, and that it would be against Christian teachings to be in favor of murder. But here’s the problem with that – Craibe was actually right in what he said.

According to the book of Leviticus, a man who lies with another man should be put to death. Oops. Guess the Bible doesn’t back up your cause on this one. Or, since Christians are the morphing masters of getting out from under their own creed’s doctrine, they will say that that is “open to interpretation” or something to the effect of “Jesus came, so we don’t have to do that anymore.” They have a gift at finding ways to disobey their book’s teachings, while still saying that they take it literally. Christian hypocrisy for the purpose of not having to think too hard never ceases to amaze me.

Not to mention, they say that God values all life. Well…that’s blatantly not true. God decided to genocide the entire planet’s population of men, women, children and babies. Did all those lives matter to him? Obviously not, because he killed them in cold blood. Or how about when he commanded his people to slaughter the various tribes who stood against them? In one passage, he tells his army to dash the heads of children against rocks, and slash open the bellies of pregnant women. Gee, that’s love for ya. Christian dogma doesn’t support this. If anything, Craibe was closer to the truth than the Salvation Army’s attempt at a good PR strategy to cover this.

The consensus seems to be, across news groups, that this was an individual thing, and not a Salvation Army thing. But they have always been anti-gay marriage, anti-gay adoption, and anti-gay rights. This has been shown, time after time. Here is a link to a lovely YouTube vlogger named Zinnia Jones who gives a comprehensive view of the anti-gay stance of the Salvation Army, and their efforts to work against gay rights. But, like whenever a cop does something bad, we always want to say that this is a small thing, and not look at the larger issues.

In my mind, this is why bigotry is so common in America. Instead of looking at the root cause, America is too lazy for that. Because, to really attack bigotry, with things like education, open dialogue and keeping an open mind, you actually have to work at those things. Those things aren’t easily remedied by saying that it was a “one-time deal” or a “baby with the bathwater situation.” No, to tackle real bigotry, you have to look a little deeper. And we aren’t. We aren’t looking deeper than that. Because that would be too hard. And also because it shines a horribly ugly light on America and its people. We are nation that needs the sunshine blown up our ass all the time. If we have to be even remotely critical of ourselves, and take responsibility, then we have to actually admit we did something wrong. And if Bush taught us nothing else, it’s that admitting when you’re wrong is no good!

The reality is – don’t give any money to the Salvation Army. There are a ton of other charities that do just as much good work, without the bigotry associated with the Salvation Army. Groups like Doctors Without Border, the American Red Cross, Direct Relief International, Heifer International and The Trevor Project. All of these groups are so much better to donate to. I am all for helping the poor. I’m a liberal. But I am sick and fucking tired of America’s bigotry being swept under the rug, and us thinking that if we don’t look at it long enough, it will go away.

I am also tired of Christians trying to whitewash their holy book, to absolve themselves of the fact that they follow a God who has human prejudices, is vain as any person, and is a violent bastard who, if you don’t do what he says, he will fuck you up! And that’s how it reads. The Bible doesn’t read like symbolism. It reads like God is an immoral dictator who will fuck you up if you don’t do what he says. He’s a pimp, you’re his whores. Well, I ditched that noise, and I am NEVER going back. I don’t need that snake oil.

Why do you?

Until next time, a quote,

“You can support a good cause, without supporting religious prejudice. But unless and until the Salvation Army renounces their anti-gay policies, don’t give them your money, and don’t give them your used goods. There are better options out there. And there is no place for hate in charity.” – Zinnia Jones, Boycott The Salvation Army

I did a post a couple years back called “Modern Teenage Girls = Dumb.” In this post, I talked about how, if you look at teenage pop culture, and how ridiculously stupid it is. The role models for teenagers now are the tepid, pathetic, asexual imps. Unless, of course, they are girls, but even then, the girls in these pieces of pop culture who are interested in love don’t have a CLUE what real love is. To them, love is the Full House, pathetic and super-awesome all the time attraction. Love is simple, easy, and has no problems. As is the case with the music of Justin Bieber.

Justin Bieber represents everything that is wrong with our culture. This pathetic, asexual little girl (he isn’t not a man. He has no balls) need to be forgotten by our culture. But he isn’t being forgotten. No, instead, while his popularity is nowhere near what it used to be, he is still a large figure in the public consciousness, and teen pop culture.

My favorite YouTube vlogger just did a video about this, and he pointed out something that I hadn’t thought of, but is very true, if you think about it. Teen pop culture takes in what is dark, Gothic and cool, and turns it into something pathetic, whiny, bitchy, and ball-less. Anyone remember when Vampires were something to be afraid of? They made these great movies about how dark and sinister this creature was. It haunts the night, stalking humans like a farmer, checking its chickens to see which would be the best food for the night. They were something that was from your deepest nightmares, because it was neither animal nor man. Neither zombie nor human. It existed between worlds, forever in darkness. That’s pretty fucking bad-ass. Then, a Mormon author named Stephanie Meyer came along and said, “I bet I can make my own version of that, and it will be better!” Actually, fuck that. She saw a way to market, and she took it. She saw a way to market her Mormon antiquated values, and she jumped on the bandwagon. That’s the real truth. And her publisher did SO many favors for her in marketing that crap. But now, the teen pop culture has taken in vampires, where once they were something to be afraid of, now they are sparkly, and gay, and stupid. They are a giant waste of time.

Anyone remember the werewolf? They were another creature of the darkness, that existed in a place that was somewhere we didn’t want to be. They also stalked the night, hunting us down like cattle. We could mount no defense against them. We were helpless before them. The aforementioned author got a hold of them, and now, something else that represented fear and terror is about teenage unreal and unrealistic love.

In the 90’s, there was this strange new trend of taking Shakespearean and other great pieces of classic film and turning them into teen popcorn flicks. Anyone remember the film “Cruel Intentions?” Yeah, that little cinematic travesty (that guys only watch for the chicks making out) was part of this. Or there were all the teenage versions of Shakespeare’s plays, like Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet, or O (an adaptation of Othello. Why the fuck did they not include the whole title?!), or The 10 Things I Hate About You. All of these were pieces of shit. But teen culture ate it up. Just like now, where Justin Bieber has replaced Kurt Cobain as the teen heart-throb. This is what modern pop culture does. It digest what’s cool, and it regurgitates what sucks.

It annoys me to no end how the modern view of being a teenager is that one is supposed to be stupid, and ignorant, and embrace partying and making an ass out of yourself, instead of intelligence and cognitive thought, and trying to make yourself a better person. I was the leader of the outcasts in high school, and my outcast brethren were people who liked to read, and be smart, and do cool stuff. They didn’t want to party and get involved in high school drama like the rest of them. They didn’t want to embrace the socially corrosive culture. And while there were a lot of us, the fact is that we were not the in-group. We were the outcasts, in a culture that was just as dumb. But it’s getting dumber.

And when people say that my problem is that I’m jealous of Justin Bieber, like TJ, I say, “fuck yeah, I am!” I wish that I could be as good as that idiot at getting people to give me their money. I wish I had a couple of mansions that my throngs of dumbass fans (in this instance, I have his. I’m not insulting you, my regular readers. 🙂 ) got me because they convinced their parents to buy my crap. That’s all Justin Bieber has done! He’s convinced the dumb to buy his garbage. Teen girls are becoming the living dead. If they were told that they had to rip apart a bunch of puppies in order to kiss Justin Bieber’s hand, I guarantee you that they would dig in without a moment’s hesitation. That’s who this idiot’s fans are. And I wish I had that kind of support. I don’t. I am a relative nobody, on a blog on WordPress, talking to my audience about what I think matters. Everyone who hates this kid is jealous of his ability to have absolutely no talent, but make metric tons of cash. To have President Obama want to hang with him, and get a medal from the Canadian Prime Minister. Fuck yeah, I’m jealous of an idiot who has no talent, creativity, or even musical savvy, living a life of absolute luxury! Who wouldn’t be?!

And this is what gets on my nerves – these are the people we surround ourselves with. Parents don’t like this kid. Nobody likes him. Then why do we still buy his shit?! Well, that’s obvious – because these girls want to believe that at any moment, they could turn a corner, and this pathetic little worm is going to be there, ready to tell them that he loves them. I got news for you, girls – he doesn’t give a shit about you! This trained monkey is doing what his handlers want so that he can make money! All he cares about is the money! He will never, ever care about you, what you think, how you feel, or anything connected to that! And the fact that our culture isn’t crucifying this socially corrosive bullshit pisses me off!

Anybody who is on YouTube and who makes content knows that 90% of YouTube traffic is kittens, puppies, babies, and rednecks doing dumb shit. That’s just how it goes. People like my favorite YouTube vlogger, The Amazing Atheist,The Show with Neil, and others who I watch regularly are piggy-backing off of the success of pointless dumb shit on YouTube. And that’s good. Because it allows them to have an audience that will listen to what they say. Having an audience is the whole reason that anybody does anything online. I am always looking to grow my audience. And it is working, a little.

Of course, where there is the vloggers and the cutesy dumb stuff, there is also the academic side to YouTube. Educators who are trying to get helpful videos out to their students, and to be as effective as possible in reaching a wider audience. Problem is – these groups typically fall flat. The reason is because those who go on YouTube more often than not are totally uninterested in looking at academic stuff. But then you come across the REALLY weird stuff in even the academic field on YouTube.

Like this video. This video is so disturbing to me, and not because it is a video about a delicate topic (inserting a catheter into your vag. Yeah, it’s for women). That doesn’t weird me out. What weirds me out is that this talks about this stuff like it is totally run-of-the-mill, every day, and the animations that they have with this are just disturbing. But you can’t stop watching. For reasons you can’t explain, you want to know all about how this works. And I’m not a hypocrite. The stuff they have on guy parts, and the medical aspects to that, I watched that too, because these videos are so matter-of-fact, and our culture is so terrified of it’s own genitals, that when see stuff like this on YouTube, getting over 5,000,000 views, it is almost amazing. What’s even stranger – all the dislikes. Why? Because it wasn’t porn? Did the title “PostCare Recover: Female Vaginal Self Catheterization” not fill you in on the fact that this wasn’t going to be porn?

The channel that did this video has done a whole series of these kinds of videos. And to be honest, while they are disturbing, these videos also fascinate me. I want to sit down and watch them. And this is the really cool part about the academic world on YouTube. You can post just about anything. So long as you don’t show any really explicit nudity, you can post anything. There are girls who put condoms on bananas. There are girls who put condoms on bananas with their mouths. There are videos showing people shoving a catheter tube up a guy’s junk, and the catch is that it’s a dummy guy’s junk. This is really fucking weird, but it’s also kind of cool, and anybody who says otherwise is an idiot.

Academia will always interest me. Especially in the battles it is picking in the world of new technology. I had this pretentious-ass political philosophy teacher. He used to talk about stuff, and he so was enraptured with his own words that I swear, during sex with his wife, he must always have to have something playing in the background which is him giving a lecture. This guy got off to listening to himself speak. But whenever you talk about using modern technology like YouTube to discuss this stuff, he got REALLY defensive, like the very idea that technology and education could be combined somehow offended him. Why? Because students might just learn something? I admit that I learned jack-all in his class. He loved listening to himself talk so much that I guess he would forget what we were talking about. And because nobody wanted to interrupt him, because god-help you if you did, we never questioned his teaching method. That’s just how it worked.

But then there are the teachers who actually embrace technology and the internet’s growth in the classroom. I like these teachers. Something that educators are just going to have accept is that the internet isn’t going anywhere. If anything, it’s slowly taking over everything. You get home, what’s the first thing you do? Check your Facebook. You wake up, what’s the first thing you do? Well, if you’re a guy my age, you jerk-off, then check you Facebook. This is the world we live in. YouTube and Facebook have cornered a market on social interaction, and if academia wants a piece of this pie in the 21st century, they are going to have to do the same.

But never forget – you might be on YouTube, watching a funny video about a woman who is afraid of her own vagina (link here), and you just might come across one of the most fascinating videos of all time. Promise.

Until next time, a quote,

“Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks … you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?” -Bill Hicks

Ugh…dammit! I was having a good night, watching a video that is reviewing a terrible movie called “Cyberbu//y.” It was a good night. I had all my Christmas shopping planned out (an atheist who celebrates Christmas?! OH MY GOD!). I even have a couple of really clever ideas for the family. It was going to be loads of fun. But then, my arch-nemesis attacks – Stupidity. Stupidity has come in so many forms over the years of this blog. It sometimes came in the form of Rebecca Watson’s uber-feminist pointlessness. Other times, it came in the form of those stupid posters that showed guys yelling at women, with fists coming out of their mouths, implying that verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse (which is the stupidest thing…well, not ever, but up there). And now, it has come to me in the form of a teacher who has decided to circumvent the Constitution at a public school, all so that she can get her person opinion out to her students.

I know, here’s the link so you know I’m not making this up. The story goes that a teacher named Kendra Baker, in Laurel County, Kentucky, decided that in lieu of the election season, she had to make a political statement. You know, that wouldn’t bug me so much, if only her statement wasn’t so stupid.

Her statement, that she wrote on her white-board for her students to read was –

You can’t be a Democrat & go to Heaven.

Ugh…why do I have to find these things. I don’t want to. I really don’t. I want to find happy stories, about people being good to each other. But instead, I have to have my Facebook feed give me the news of the stupidest people in this country and how they are fucking things up for the rest of us.

Now, naturally, when people saw this written in big, bold letters on a teacher’s white-board, they had a reaction. Somebody took a picture of it with their phone and sent it to the school board. So, what was her punishment for disobeying the rules and circumventing the Constitution? Well, she got reprimanded, verbally, and told to apologize to her students. Well, ain’t that just spiffy. Yeah, she shouldn’t be at least on somebody’s shit-list, or fired, for this, right?

It’s stuff like this that really gets me to being annoyed whenever I hear liberals argue that churches shouldn’t be taxed. Anyone who is stupid enough to think that religion doesn’t have a strangle-hold on politics in this country is an idiot. You cannot be a Muslim or a Hindu, or a Buddhist or an atheist and get elected to public office in this country. You have to be Christian. Or, in Mitt Romney’s case, close enough to Christian to where people won’t notice it. But yeah, one has to have religion backing them, because if they don’t, they won’t get elected.

And by the way, this isn’t a new thing. Anyone who reads this old enough to remember the election of JFK? Back then, America had a shit-fit over a Catholic getting elected as President, because they thought the Pope would be his right-hand adviser. Uh, question – why the fuck does that matter? I mean, really, what do a candidate’s religious views matter? They shouldn’t. Not to the public. What should matter is their ability to govern. Though, as we have seen, this country has made a sport out of not caring about the issues.

Religion is all over politics in this country. The Republican Party exists because white religious men want to feel like they still have some control. That isn’t to say that the Democrats don’t have their fair share of religious idiots in that party. But the Republican Party exists because of religious ideology. Their religious ideology governs everything that they are for in the realm of “family values.” Their party hates abortion and women’s rights. Guess where that came from – religion. They hate gay marriage. Guess where that came from – religion. Once upon a time, they (conservatives) didn’t want to give up slavery, and guess where a lot of that reasoning came from – religion. Conservatives in America are a completely religious group. Zealots who are driven by faith, and are actively trying to make this country worse based on that belief. Because they aren’t smart enough to see and understand something.

Now, it is worth noting that this article against this teacher does seem to want to paint the scarlet letter on her, which does seem a little harsh, but to be honest, the fact that almost nothing happened to her is worth talking about. Because this is something America needs to realize – that religion is such a substantial part of this country that it is becoming acceptable to use as a weapon to promote your views. This school didn’t have too much of a problem with a public school teacher disobeying the rules and going against the Constitution. States in the deep south don’t seem to mind having creationism (the stupidest, most unscientific “theory” in existence) taught alongside evolution. This is par for the course here in America.

I will close this with a quote by George Carlin, which is exactly how I feel about this topic.

Until next time, a quote,

“If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.” – George Carlin