A synthetic journey to heaven

We’re actually going to light the ocean on fire?

So, we’re going to light the ocean on fire. When I first heard, I thought it was a joke. But as you watch this video, you begin to get the feeling that their other solutions are even dumber.

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First off, a dome? So what are we going to do with a dome full of oil? It’s like throwing a basket over a mouse in the kitchen. Whew, it’s trapped… but there’s still a freaking mouse in the kitchen! I guess there’s some pipe that supposed to bring the oil to the surface, I guess to be put on ships and taken … somewhere else?

Then they are going to drill two more wells and pump cement into the earth’s crust. Nothing bad will come of that, I’m sure.

As a kazoo made of petroleum-based plastic, I am, of course, concerned about all the plastic trash floating in the Gulf of Mexico that will inevitably be covered in crude oil. That stuff is smelly! Also, when they light the ocean on fire, what will happen to the oil-covered plastics floating around!

Coastal fish near the Mississippi River Delta don’t need to worry about the oil reaching them and coating them with oil, though. After all, they are already dead due to the over 8,500 square mile hypoxic dead zone there.

But I digress. Let’s focus on the question at hand, courtesy of British Petroleum: Is it better to light the ocean on fire or let the oil cover the Louisiana coast wetlands?