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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Best of the BLOW OFF-- SAF: The Magical Blow Off

As a single person, it's been a little harder to share my blowoff stories so liberally. It's all kosher fun when you're in a committed relationship and can look back and laugh at the good ol' days of dating--but it's not so easy when you're still mining through these muddy waters.

And let me tell you, these waters are thick and full of parasites and other unclassified strains of questionable male/female species.

That said, I am chock full of priceless blowoff stories that are too good to take with me to the grave. That would be selfish. So herewith is "The Magical Blow-Off."

Over a year ago, I was kinda-sorta-not-really seeing this guy. He lived in SF, and I lived in NYC. While I do believe that love can blossom no matter how long the distance, this wasn't one of those situations. I did like the guy, but more than anything, it was just for fun. We emailed and phoned once in a while, but it never ventured into serious relationship territory. All told, I only saw him about four or five times over six months. I mean, come on, that couldn't even be considered dating, could it? NO.

All while this was happening, I decided to move back to the Bay. I never discussed this with him until the final hour, because quite frankly, he never really factored into the equation. I think I also knew, in the back of my mind, that he would freak out.

And he did. To him, it seemed like I was moving back for him. He panicked.

THROW ME A BONE.

He called me immediately. I knew it was coming. "This is really hard for me to say..." he began awkwardly. And then he finally uttered the words that, to this day, still floors me: "You're really great on paper, but I never felt the magic with you."

K.O., Pacquiao style.

Moment of silence please...

...

Yes, it was a shock to the ego, and it hurt a little that he was blowing me off in general, but I've gotta give it to the guy-- that is one hellava line. Do you think he thought of it before he called me? Maybe he practiced saying it over and over in front of the mirror several times? It's just too good to have thought of it off the cuff-- poetic almost. Almost.

about the blow off

We've all been blown off, we've all blown someone off. Share your story: the blow off texts, emails, voice mail messages you've either sent or received to mark the end of a relationship. And if the blow off consisted of a disappearing act, post a missing person's report. Or just read stories about break ups in general.