Here's something that is a mindset thing --- and a little TABOO to talk about. Takes a little honest SOUL SEARCHING to even bring it up as a topic. Has far reaching implications that are not necessarily "pretty."

Has to do with the idea that perhaps one can subconsciously fail ON PURPOSE ("unknowingly"), as a means of FILTERING OUT people who will/would ABANDON you upon failure.

A kind of "failure filter." A way to sacrifice one's own SUCCESS, as a means of finding out who is UNCONDITIONALLY on our side (+ who isn't).

I'll post more about this later (don't have time right now).

Note: What triggered this idea was one line of a song by The Pretenders called "Stand By You." It's a very POWERFUL LINE (I think) - that always "gets to me" when I hear it. (I'll find the lyrics + post 'em later)

In the mean time, anyone have any thoughts on this? Maybe it's an already known + discussed phenom. I've never heard of it in any case.

Cheers.

-- TW

Bozo

December 22, 2011 07:35 AM

Re: "Failure Filter" (?)...

Quote:

Originally Posted by -TW
(Post 29741)

...
A kind of "failure filter." A way to sacrifice one's own SUCCESS, as a means of finding out who is UNCONDITIONALLY on our side (+ who isn't).

In the mean time, anyone have any thoughts on this? Maybe it's an already known + discussed phenom. I've never heard of it in any case.

Cheers.

-- TW

That type of person is likely to be a drama queen, or king. I call them physic vampires. They'll do anything to find the food they need, which is usually your attention and sympathy.

That's been my experience. There's a good reason that most people abandon them. Those that stand by their side, are food.

-TW

December 22, 2011 06:42 PM

But sometimes one must find a way to defeat the fear of failure...

And WHAT IS the fear of failure (as it relates to the people closest to you)?

Bozo

December 22, 2011 07:06 PM

Re: But sometimes one must find a way to defeat the fear of failure...

Quote:

Originally Posted by -TW
(Post 29751)

And WHAT IS the fear of failure (as it relates to the people closest to you)?

The fear of failure, as it relates to the people closest to you, is a self esteem issue.

When you make their opinion more important than your own, you make yourself into a victim.