Posts tagged ‘respect’

I’m sorry, two little words, and can you believe that some people just don’t know how to say them? For something so small, you would think that tongue wouldn’t have trouble with these words, but how many times have you felt them rise in your throat and yet your tongue refuses to form them? I know I have been there. I think we need to learn to look someone in the eye that we have hurt and say “I’m Sorry” with no but after it. A statement followed by a but becomes an excuse. We need to own our shit, so many times we half ass things, a half ass apology is an excuse and a cop out. You either take full responsibility for what you have done or your don’t. You just can’t half way apologize and accept to something to change.

There are two parts to an apology, the first part is Owning it, I’m sorry. Period. The second part is where the being genuine comes in, if you are truly sorry about what you have done to someone or how you have failed then you must do something to change it. I’m sorry loses its power just as fast when you keep saying I’m sorry for the same thing over and over. If you don’t change anything and you keep apologizing to me for the same thing, I am going to stop listening because your apology has lost the action. You have to own your mistakes and then act on them to change them for your “I’m Sorry” to actually mean anything. Its just as empty without the action as it is with a ‘but’ after it. If you ever want to be more than you are today put action to your I’m sorry and take out the ‘buts’. If you actually do this you should never have to apologize for the same thing twice.

It has almost ten years since I visited Arlington Cemetery and on this day most of all I remember back to it. It is almost breath taking and also heart wrenching to see all those white headstones, row upon row, upon row of the lives that have been given for mine. As I sit here recalling how it felt to walk around in that place the emotion wash over me again. The sorrow was the first thing to take hold of me, all those men and women who will never return to there loved ones, who will never kiss there lovers, who will never see their children, and for what, they died and sacrificed all they had for me, for a country that argues about the value of their sacrifice and the meaning of their death. I would say to you that their life and their death are far more meaningful than any other that I have know. Politics and worldview do not have the power to touch or taint their sacrifice. I did not feel joy to see those white headstones but I did in time feel honor and courage wash over me. I was honored to be a part, a member of a nation that understands that my individual life is mine and I am free to live as I choose and that there are people all around me who value other more than themselves so much that they will leave the comforts of their home and give there lives for people they will never meet. I am proud to be an american not because of what I have or what I have do, but because my nation understands the power of love and sacrifice.

I will not abide people who speak ill of the military, they are far nobler than anyone I have meet. They freely choose to go into harms way for me. I have had a peaceful and protected life because of the men and women who lay dead in Cemeteries around this country and I will not forget what they have done for me and I will be the first to stand and honor there actions.

What is passion,

Why is it that some seam to have more passion in there lives then others?

Where does it come from?

How is it born?

It’s a product of the Mind…

It’s a product of the Heart…

And a Product of the Eye…

Passion is something that is uniquely human, it is a gift that must be guarded and tended to. It will die if not feed and nurtured, some seam to have more passion because they have cared for there passion more than you have. If you think that a passionate life while just happen you have missed the whole idea. Passion is a believe, it is a choice, it is a life style that says there is something more worth living for than the survival of the human race.

I am passionate about writing, because I give myself to the art and journey of words and their power over the heart and mind. Use the right words at the write time and you have the Gettysburg address, Shakespeares St Crispians day speech, and Martin Luther Kings Jr’s I had a dream speech, but use the same words in a different arrangement and instead of inspiration you have words of hate and destruction. It’s not the voices that use the words that give them power it’s the mind that crafts them. I can craft such words for you, words that would make you weep and words that could make you dance with pure joy. I have passion for writing because I have given my mind to the understanding and pursuit of it. I have passion for writing because I have give my heart over to the words that stir up all the hidden things in my heart. I have passion for writing because I have trained my eyes to see it and to look for it everywhere I go, I have given my eyes to the small print and the large that makes up all the words in the world. That is where passion is born, in determination and commitment to something that is too big to grasp but grasp at it you do, none the less. I will never be able to write all the words that are within me but I will not keep a single one inside any longer than I have to. I will pour out the words like it is water from an unending fountain, I will give my words, they are my blood, my life, my legacy. Freely I will share them with all you will listen, all who will read them and all those who will love them as I do. Words are my passion.

Some people say ‘I found my passion when…’ But I don’t believe thats how its supposed to work. Go out and make your passion, create it with your choices, with your mind, soul and body. Give yourself to your passion, don’t wait for it to find you, go seek after it and you will find it. You have it within you to live passionately , you simply have to choice it.

How do we have self respect without coming across as need or bitchy? I have found this to be a very hard line to walk. How do I let my friends when they are treating me like crap with out sounding like I am latching onto them or come across as a bitch you should probably just keep her mouth shut.

I know that there I have been times that I told people I would call them back or that we would get together for coffee and I actively choose not to, and also when I genuinely forgot to call. I know I have hurt people with my forgetfulness and by lying about hanging out with them. i will not make excuses about the choices I make but I will say this, some times you just can’t take care of everyone who comes into your life. I am not wonder women.

I know what I should do when I know I won’t be able to spend time with someone, I should be honest with then and as gracious as possible in telling them that I don’t have time right now. But what do I do when I am sitting on the other side of the situation and I know full well that that person doesn’t really want to get coffee, and they won’t remember to call, what do you do? Let them off the hook when they fail, again? Or do you call them on it? Truly what do you do? How do you maintain respect for yourself and hold onto a friendship that you clearly value?

I suppose this is were true friends and people that you sorta know get sorted out. I guess what I am really struggling with is why I have more people I know that I value, then I have true friends. Its been a challenging day trying to decide what to do with a situation that I should have dealt with months ago, that just keeps going thru the same cycle and never changing.

I care for people a great deal and often pay a high price for it. Today I am paying double.