LINKS TO THE PORT MANTEAU OF HORROR

Friday, December 6, 2013

Ever read the Bible? The good book? The word of God!?
Between smiting an the strange case of an apple eaten in pursuit of knowledge I’m not sure that the
authors ever really imagined a naked man climbing through the rocky footings of
deserted, placid beach at the beginning of time eventually meeting a gorgeous
first-timer, Eve. I mean… or maybe they did. What’s a Garden of Eden without
Tomaso Albinoni jamming out in the background while complete strangers, new
humans on the face on the Earth, fornicating like they were born to breed? If it sounds like I’m being blasphemous, I’m
sure on some level I am, but I’m also talking about Wakefield Poole’s The
Bible. The Vinegar Syndrome dug up this strange piece of avant-garde, erotic
retelling of three classic Biblical tales… tales of women. Tales of men. Tales
of naked people set to classical music. I’m not sure I like it, but you have to
see it to believe it.

Synopsis from Vinegar Syndrome:

The stories of Adam & Eve, Bath Sheba and Samson & Delilah are given sexual twists.

Trailer:

I’ve been moderately stunned by Poole’s Bible. Part of me
doesn’t really enjoy watching modern silent movies no matter how clever the
Director is. In this case, watching the introduction to the film with Wakefield
Poole and the commentary provided on the disc can assist you in placing and
categorizing this movie in your head. So it’s a silent movie with stories that
you may be familiar with, told in erotic ways. The goal isn’t to get you off,
but the casting was very… how shall I put this… voluptuous. Naked men and women
writhing around delicately finding the serpent and the apple. The seduction of
Sampson and the betrayal of his luscious locks. Sheba takes a bath and then
covers herself in leaves while some dude picks the best opportunity possible to
Peep her Tom. It’s not zany. It’s not exactly humorous though I assume one
might be able to riff it up a bit. It’s actually a serious erotic work; one
that deserves more respect than my adolescent-ish brain could afford it. I’m
hard pressed to find any movie to which I might compare it save for a few
student short films that try to push the boundary of cinema. It’s not
pretentious though. Rest assured there’s art between these here legs.

Notes: 1.33:1 OAR, DVD

Extras include an absolutely necessary commentary track from
Poole, an introduction for Poole (not watching this will leave you dumbfounded
later), and a video interview with Floria Grant and Georgina Spelvin. An
extensive still gallery, theatrical trailer, screen tests and costume and
effects tests are also provided. That’s
a pretty packed release for a 76 min long skin flick from 1973 during a period
of great experimentation in cinema.

I’d recommend Wakefield Poole’s Bible to folks who enjoy
erotic cinema. I’m not talking about porn here. I mean beautiful imagery laced
with seduction and clever shot choices that art both merit worthy and artistic.
Do not wait for the proverbial money shot (though you might find a few that
could qualify). This could be the best study guide for Biblical scholars since
the invention of the Comic book Bible. Easy to understand interpretations of
familiar stories with new interpretations that your Priest or Rabbi can’t
possibly understand (or perhaps understand too well). Not for tightlipped thumpers in need of a douche or
enema. This is a solid release from Vinegar Syndrome though I will say that it
might not be appreciated as such by fans of the more gratuitous double feature
releases. Jess Franco and Joe D’Amato fans need apply.

From the bowels and brains of American International to the rib cage and eye sockets of Amicus, Doc Terror will write your eyes shut from the prehistory to the post apocalypse of horror.Doc Terror is a contributor to The Liberal Dead and The Dead Air Podcast.