On Jim Nantz: "In fact, I've made a relaxation tape of just Jim Nantz play-by-pay of The Masters. If I'm ever stressed out after a long work day and need to relax, I'll just play Jim Nantz from The Masters."

On broadcast changes: "It's hard to mess with perfection, but if I were to kinda, hip it up a little, I might have Ryan Seacrest announce The Masters. He has beautiful teeth. Maybe bring in Randy Jackson, have him talk about his days with Journey."

On music changes: "Again, it's hard to mess with perfection. Once again, Randy Jackson, he can just play on his bass. I might add in an accordion sound that you may find at a bad Italian restaraunt. I don't know if people would like it, but it would be something different."

On the Eisenhower Tree: "There's really only one way to preserve its memory that's appropriate, and that's to make keychains out of it. They could build a shed out of the wood from the Eisenhower Tree and use it to sell keychains from the Eisenhower Tree. That's really the only way to honor that beautiful peice of nature."