Monthly Archives: September, 2012

The Alano Club of St. Joseph was founded in 1949 as Alano Mercy Hospital. Four beds were available for detoxing alcoholics and meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous were held regularly. Time and needs changed – and so did Alano. We presently offer meeting space, social activities, and education to ALL 12 Step Programs. At the moment we host as tenants Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-Anon, and Gamblers Anonymous.

Trust is critical, particularly with today’s emphasis on team management. It is also the foundation for good relationships. Friendships, families, and organizations need trust to operate effectively. When people trust each other, everything works better. But trust doesn’t come automatically. Trust must be earned.
Some people build trust quickly. Their attitudes and behaviors make it easy for others to trust them. Here are several characteristics of these strong trust builders:

• They keep promises, whether to clients, colleagues, or children. You can rely on them to do what they said they would do.

• They tell the truth, even when it may be painful, or when it may be to their disadvantage.

• They are quick to apologize when they do something wrong. They sincerely regret doing wrong to others.

• They are good listeners, and they listen at least as much as they talk.

• They generously praise people. They are constantly looking for what others do right, and commenting on it.

• They willingly cooperate with their colleagues. They are more interested in achieving good results than in who will get the credit.

• They strive to understand how others feel. They are sensitive and empathetic to other’s feelings.

• They look out for other people’s interests as well as their own.

• They are fair in their dealings with everyone.

• They clarify their intentions so others will understand their actions.

• They seek input on issues from the people who will be affected by their decisions or actions.

• They are genuinely interested in other people.

Strong trust builders have a high relationship orientation. They really do care about others. They actively practice the Golden Rule, treating others the way they would want to be treated.
OBSERVATION: When you demonstrate these attitudes and behaviors, people just naturally trust you more. They trust you faster, too. They enjoy working, or living, with you.

This fall, when you see geese heading south for the winter flying along in a ‘V” formation, you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way.

FACT: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates “uplift” for the bird immediately following. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock has at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.LESSON: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.FACT: When a goose flies out of formation, it suddenly feels drag and resistance of trying to go it alone. It quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front of it.LESSON: If we have as much commons sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those heading where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others. It is harder to do something alone than together.FACT: When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation, and another goose flies to the point position.LESSON: It is sensible to take turns doing the hard and demanding tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent of each other’s skills, capabilities, and unique arrangements of gifts, talents, or resources.FACT: The geese flying in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.LESSON: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one’s heart or core values and encourage the heart and care of others)is the quality of honking we seek. We need to make sure our honking is encouraging and not discouraging.FACT: When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two other geese will drop out of formation with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their flock.LESSON: If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by our colleagues and each other in difficult times as well as in good.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, say, or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past – we cannot change the fact people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude – I’m convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. Anonymous

Alano hosts an annual Thanksgiving Dinner. A person does not have to be a member of Alano to enjoy our annual festival of good food, warm friends, and the serenity of recovery.

WHEN: Our dinner is traditionally held at 2:00 PM on Thanksgiving day

WHERE: 401 South 11th Street, St. Joseph, Missouri
Generally, Alano will supply the turkey or ham. Other than the meat dish the dinner is pot luck. We are always grateful for the many donations. The spirit of service to others is a central ingredient to a healthy recovery.

“Will you exchange sickness and remorse, desolation and despair, for faith and hope, health and happiness? We, in Alano Club, have made this trade and are glad. We have found the way out. You can do the same before time runs out.

12 Step Programs center on the all-volunteer self-help group. In all cases, a group works best for its members with help from its members. To get the most out of your group, you should be prepared to put things into it. Consider the following suggestions:

• Remain committed to recovery. This group cannot do its real job for you if your attitude is shaky. Keep your commitment strong.

• Attend the meetings. Your absence takes from the group – your presence gives to it. As with so many things in life, just being where you know you should be can be half the battle.

• Be open and honest with yourself and others. This group can be the right place to take risks, to stumble, and to learn to succeed and to be your true self.

• Get to know each member and be available to each other. The problems and progress of others in the group affect you. We need each other.

• Create friendship. Reach out and take chances. Others here might even become good, close friends.

• Bring good cheer and optimism to the meetings. We need good feelings, and we all have the power to create them and not just wait for them.

• Ask for what you need. If you want your issues addressed, speak up, Make the meetings work for you.

• Learn through the group wisdom. Through the group, solutions to many problems are available to you. Pay attention to what others have to say, and you may hear many important things you did not even think about before.

• Be prepared to act when you see a member going astray. Confront him or her in a respectful and honest way. If you need support to do this, get it.

• Offer a good word when someone does well. We know how tough it can be. Sincere approval is precious.

• Honor the group rules. The rules express the needs of a recovering group. Just as you should not cheat in recovery, do not disregard the rules in the recovery group.

• Make your contributions count. Think, get to the point, and be practical. Do not show off or hog the time.

• Help get things done. If something needs doing – do it. After all, it is a self-help group.

• Be trustworthy. Honor confidentiality and do what you say you will do for others.

• Strive to be a person of your word.

• Share the group with your partners in recovery. Bring them to meetings when appropriate and encourage them to know this part of your life.

• Give back to others. You will have valuable insights and experiences. Please share them so that others can learn from you and so you will not forget.