"In my experience, the worse high school is, the better your adult life seems to be."

Alia Shawkat writes: "In my experience, the worse high school is, the better your adult life seems to be."

Lesley Arfin writes: "You might feel at times that you are ugly and disgusting and unlovable. Some of you might feel as though you are beautiful and hot and cool and awesome. Know this: When you’re in your 20s you go through, like, a time machine of opposite days."

After reading these posts, I began to formulate my fate. It seems like most outcasts in high school turn out to be beautiful, successful ducklings. Haven't you seen the Maury show where the nerdy buck-teeth skinny girl turns into a sex kitten (and sometimes an exotic dancer) and she's there to tell her high school crush,"Look at me now, bitch."

From looking at Facebook, it does seem to be the case. Total nerds, weirdos, anti-athletes are now working their way towards medical school, attending grad school, or even owning their own business. The rest are extending their high school career through their 20s, getting drunk with the same clique of people, and having a mediocre lifestyle in their hometown. Of course this is not true for everyone, but that seems to be the trend.

It scares the cow out of me because I don't know where I stand. I had a good high school experience. Of course, if I knew this conclusion that most of the writers have concluded, I would have gone back and forced myself to hate high school. I can't say I was an outsider, or the strange girl who never talked in class and always had a book in her hand. But I wasn't the popular homecoming queen with the buff football boyfriend. I was an AP student, a yearbook nerd, and a highly enthusiastic (it makes up for my lack of talent) volleyball player, and highly emotional teenage girl with a social appetite. By looking at this, it seems I will fall into the "mediocre" category and that terrifies me. I'm starting to find that I'm becoming less social, and just less of everything I used to be in high school. Is that the affect it's taking? Am I slowly morphing into an outcast? Well, maybe I'm a step behind and this phase in my life now is my high school phase and in four years, I'll blossom into a beautiful butterfly. I'm trying my best to make myself feel better, sorry! I like extremes, and I really hope to goodness I can achieve that and break this pattern of mediocrity.

Lastly, I'll end with a positive note to everyone who might kinda sorta feel what I feel (if you understand, please inform me because even I don't know myself).

Dan Savage writes: Sometimes the problem isn’t who you are, despite what you’re being told by everyone around you, but where you are. And sometimes the solution can be as simple as finding a new place, a better place, the kind of place where a kid like you can thrive. Your place is out there. Go find it."

"All I can say is, take risks while you can. Believe in yourself, search for your happiness and experience new things. You have the money, you have the time. Don’t waste any of it."

Regardless, don't let this scare you. Don't evaluate your high school life and think that is how your entire life will be. You're constantly in control of your life. As for me, I need to stop making up excuses for my current ailment and stop putting the fault onto others. I don't necessarily know what I want, but I do know what I don't want. I don't want to have to write another entry like this again!