December 12, 2006

Fixed….and a catch up

Apparently I had done something when I turned off the comments for that one post a few weeks back, and I inadvertantly shut off comments for ALL my blogs. I was beginning to think that no one wanted to give me some blog love anymore, when Art e-mailed me and said he’s left comments but doesn’t see them, so I fixed it….THANKS ART!! 🙂

Tonight is Ian’s first Christmas school program, he’s excited. We had to go to to the store to pick up a green shirt and green pants, of all colors….GREEN? Its hard to find green around here that isn’t CAMO colors, haha….so we did the best we could and I pray he doesn’t stand out, lol. There isn’t much to chose from around here as far as places to buy clothes…anyway, so his clothes are washed and ready to go. On the drive home from the store, he was practicing singing, but he didn’t want me to hear it until tomorrow, so he was whispering, too freaking cute.

His dad won’t make it. I called him last night to remind him because he claimed he was going to tell his dad about it, too, but true to form, he didn’t tell his dad and he said he didn’t have the gas money to go because they just paid rent on Monday….hmmm, odd considering its the 11th, not the 1st, but ok. I told him my dad is going to record it, so I guess I might make a copy, if I have time, lol.

Oh I left out A LOT of stuff from this past weekend….it was eventful to say the least….ready?….

First off, FRIDAY:

I talked to Country Boy…..I know…right? Well, I saw him drive by, and something possessed me to call him, not sure why, I just did. I saw him drive by and I called his cell….he answered and I’m sick so my voice is very hoarse unless I’m drinking something warm, anyway, so he didn’t recognize it at first and then I said “this is Diana” and he said “hey there, how are you, darlin?” and he sounded very upbeat, so I said I was ok, that I saw him drive by and thought I’d say hi and he said “yeah, I had to pick my buddy up for work and we’re going in tonight.” and we chatted about 5 minutes total, but to cover my ass about calling, I told him I still have his mom’s picture. See, this girl at my work who is semi-retired (she only comes in every other week for a couple of days), well back when I was seeing Country Boy, I of course talked about him as any girl who was happy with a guy would do, right? Well, turns out this semi-retired woman went to high school with his mom, and about this time last year we were still technically together, though we were unable to spend time together, and about that time this woman said she was going through an old box of photos for something, and found a school pic of his mom that she had given to my coworker friend, and she said I could give it to him. Well, then he and I broke up and he was in Ohio all the time with work, so at first I just scanned it for him and e-mailed it to him, and then I never did anything more with it because I was hopeful we’d get back together, blah blah you know the rest of the story. Well, a few weeks ago I found it while cleaning off my desk at home…so I told him I still have it and didn’t want to mail it cause I didn’t want to cause drama, but when I called him about it back when he got married and stuff, he never returned my calls and so I wasn’t sure if I should call or whatever and ended up just putting it on my desk and forgot about it, and I told him I didn’t want to call either, so I wasnt sure what to do with it. He said “you can call” and I said “you told me not to, besides, when I did call you never answered or returned the calls and so I just stopped trying anymore.” He asked when he didn’t return calls and I said “not long after everything happened” He said “I’m sorry darlin” and his tone was softer. I said “I didn’t call for an apology” and left it at that…. He said he could come by and pick it up if I wanted or we could figure something out, and I said that was fine and he said “I just dont’ want to cause a hazard in your life darlin” and I said “what does that mean?” and he said “Well, you know, I don’t know if you’re seeing someone or not, don’t want to make trouble for you” and I said “No, I’m not.” But he had to go to work (which is where he was heading when I saw him) and he said he’d be done about 9 or so and said if I’m still up maybe he can drop by and get it then, and I said that was fine. I don’t want him to see Ian, so that would be a good time, after Ian’s in bed and asleep.

Anyway, so I felt bit sad. But, I was fine soon after and Ian and I didn’t even watch a movie, he ended up falling asleep on the couch around 7:30 or 8 pm. Anyway, so at 9 pm, a new guy friend in California, JB, who is actually from here in West Virginia, called. We’ve talked a few times a week, its nice to have someone to talk to with no pressure of sex or anything, just getting to know someone and becoming friends. Anyway, so we talked about 40 minutes, and I was gonna go off to bed thinking Country Boy wasn’t gonna drop by, no big deal.

The phone rang a few minutes after 10 pm, I was still up, channel surving, and it was Country Boy, he said “better late than never, sorry dear, looks like we’re pulling an all nighter here tonight, but I thought I’d give ya a holler” (yes remember, he IS a country boy)…and we actually ended up talking for about 20 minutes. We caught up on some things, avoiding the subject of his marriage of course. He said “it sure is good to hear your voice again darlin” and I didn’t say anything to that. I changed the subject and he had asked how my work is going with the 2 jobs and I told him that situation and I asked how Raymond (his son) is and he asked how Ian’s doing and he asked how am I doing and I said fine. I had asked how he is doing earlier in the conversation, and he just said “I’m still alive” and that was when he asked how Ian was doing. He asked me when it was that I tried to call him and couldn’t reach him or that he didn’t return calls, and I said “back when everything happened” and he said again “I’m sorry darlin” and I said “its fine, its probably best anyway” and he asked “why is that?” and I said “so I could try to move on” and he said again “I’m sorry darlin.” I just said “yeah” in a monotone voice and moved on with the conversation. Anyway, so we caught up a bit, I told him about my sister cause he knew the beginning when she first disappeared and asked about it, and so I caught him up on that and we chatted just a little about stuff, and it was actually nice to talk to him, and that was when he told me that “it sure is good to hear your voice darlin.” and I didn’t say anything. Then he said something about calling him if I’m bored and I said “I didn’t even think I should’ve called this time” and he asked why and I said “cause you told me back when everything happend not to” and he said “you can call, it don’t matter.” and he said “if I didn’t want to talk to ya darlin I wouldn’t have snuck outta work and called ya back tonight.” and I didn’t say anything. I told him about my heart problems/breathing stuff, and the doctors think its stress and anxiety. He asked when it started, and I told him initially off and on around the time “when everything happened” which it did start around then, but just not quite as often. Anyway so basically soon he had to go and he said he’d catch me another time and we’d figure out when’s the best time for him to get that pic if I want him to get it and he said “and if your bored or somethin, you can call me” and then he had to go.

wierd. No, I didn’t call him back since then.

Saturday was Ian’s school fundraiser Breakfast with Santa, his dad and his dad’s gf (Sam) arrived almost at the end of it to pick him up to take him overnight, and of course waited till THAT DAY AFTER THEY ALREADY DROVE OVER TO GET HIM to ask if I could pick him up on Sunday because otherwise they can’t take him. I HATE when he pulls that shit on me, cause if I say no then Ian gets disappointed and shit. So I said fine and figured I could pick Ian up something for christmas in the city while I’m there, so no big deal.

Read my blog entry before this one, Ian won a prize at the Breakfast with Santa…there’s a pic.

Anyway, so Ian took his pic with Santa and got his pic for $2, woohoo, lol…I hope they turn out good, its with A FILM CAMERA!! lol….but hey, $2, and the money goes to the school to raise money.

Anyway, the ex’s gf and I were talking while Aaron went ahead to find Ian at the b-fast with Santa thing, and she asked how I was doing and I said fine,a nd I asked how things were with them and she said “oh, MUCH better” and I said “yeah, I haven’t seen ya in over a year and she said “yeah, things needed to be worked on and now they are so much better” and in my head I was thinking “that’s what he does, he makes you think he’s going to be the way he was in the beginning, but after a few months the true him comes back, and as the years go by, the time he is “the good guy” is less and less in between.” Then a bit later the ex announced “oh, by the way, we’re expecting”….so yep, the girlfriend is pregnant, I said congrats and asked how far along and she said about 1-1/2 or 2 months, I have to go see the doctor first, I have an appointment next week. She said she got fired from her job, but she’s not going to go back to work and is getting a medical card….soI can see it now, TOTAL WELFARE FAMILY……ugh….

This of course makes me wonder about things for the future….how involved with the ex be with Ian now that he has another kiddo on the way? They can barely afford to pay for themselves, so now with a baby, I know this sounds selfish, but Ian will never get his child support now. Hell, he only has to pay $167 A MONTH, I know people who have to pay upwards of $600 or so FOR ONE CHILD, and he complains of his amount….so if he can’t afford that, and she’s gotten fired and isn’t going to work, and a baby on the way….yeah, I’m pretty sure I won’t be getting child support. Some people are all “go after it”…but, I am a person with a conscious, and doesn’t want them out on the streets just because I think Ian deserves his child support…..but maybe I’m wrong in thinking that way? I don’t know…one of his sisters made me feel bad about going after child support when he can barely afford to take care of himself, but then his sister-in-law said, its HIS fault he can’t afford to take care of himself because he won’t keep a job and he blows his money on his “high”. But, now I don’t know.

So, I get home and there’s a message on my answer machine from a friend Steve, who is driving to Ravenswood to do a tiny bit of shopping and wanted to see what I was up to….so I called him back and we ended up having lunch, that was nice. The rest of the day I just worked on some crafts and watched the movie The Break Up.

Sunday I workd on crafts (for gifts) some more and was having a hell of a time and nothing was working out, ended up just stopping and going to the city because I had to pick Ian up. So, I got Ian then we started to drive home. Ian asked me in the car “mommy, is Sam pregnant?” Sam is the ex’s gf…and I said “why, what did they say?” and he said “they told me she’s going to have a baby.” and I said “Well, I guess she is then.” I really wish they would’ve waited to tell him when its cloesr to the time because if something happens, he’s gonna be extremely disappointed. He has been telling me for almost a year now that he wanted me to have a baby brother or sister for him, but of course, I’m waiting till I find THE Mr. right, get married again, and all that stuff…..and so I asked him “what do you think about that?” and he said “I will get a baby brother or sister.” and I said yes, except that he won’t live with us because its not my baby, it will be their baby….so of course I started thinking, I wonder if they will see Ian more now or less…..and how Ian will take it….., I wonder if the ex will stay with this girl and be involved in this kid’s life, and will Ian see that….bah. Anyway, then JB (from California) called and again we talked for about 3 hours….and then I went to bed.

That’s my weekend, haha. Just thought I’d catch up.

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go after the money girl, it isn’t much and the least he can do. It isn’t being mean or anything, its for Ian. You could even put the money directly into a savings for college if you have an inner struggle with it.People like that can’t be given the easy way out, otherwise they will always take it.