When Obama died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive?"

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Obama with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence ."

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the radical, socialist leader.

As Obama lay bleeding and in pain, the death Angel appeared. Obama wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."

The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 VIRGINIANS waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"....."You really need to listen when someone is trying to tell you something!"

_________________

August 13th, 2010, 11:08 am

m2karateman

RIP Killer

Joined: October 20th, 2004, 4:16 pmPosts: 10398Location: Where ever I'm at now

Re: Joke of the Day

A woman went to her doctor for advice.

She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.

'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked. 'Actually, yes, I do. ''Does it hurt you?' he asked. 'No.. I rather like it. ''Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.

The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?' 'Of course, ' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think democrats come from?'

_________________I will not put on blinders when it comes to our QBs performances.

August 18th, 2010, 10:56 am

m2karateman

RIP Killer

Joined: October 20th, 2004, 4:16 pmPosts: 10398Location: Where ever I'm at now

Re: Joke of the Day

A Tennessee couple, Dave and Rebecca, both bonafide rednecks, had nine children.

They went to the doctor to ask about getting Dave "fixed". The doctor said that was no problem, and he began to get things ready for the procedure. Eventually, curiosity set in on the doctor, so he said, "I've got to ask you, why after nine kids would you decide that it was time for Dave to undergo this procedure?"

Dave replied, "Well doc, I read in a paper the other day that 1 out of every 10 babies born in this country is Mexican, and we don't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because Becky and I don't speak no Spanish."

_________________I will not put on blinders when it comes to our QBs performances.

Barack Obama met with the Queen of England. He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send David Cameron in here, would you?"

David Cameron walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?" The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, David, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, David Cameron answered, "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.

Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice presidential choice the same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. "It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," said Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one..." He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer. Finally, he ran into Sarah Palin out eating one night. Biden asked, " Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Sarah Palin answered back, "That's easy, it's me!"

Biden smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Sarah Palin!"

Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face, "No! you idiot! It's David Cameron!"

....AND THAT IS PRECISELY WHAT'S GOING ON WITH OUR FEDERAL GOVERNMENT IN WASHINGTON D.C

_________________

August 19th, 2010, 1:09 pm

m2karateman

RIP Killer

Joined: October 20th, 2004, 4:16 pmPosts: 10398Location: Where ever I'm at now

Re: Joke of the Day

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate. --Jay Leno

Well, I was reading this for the funny jokes.. now it just seems the 'jokes' are the ones slamming the POTUS. Not funny in my book.. so another thread I won't be reading anymore.

Kinda like the joke you made on October 2nd, 2006:

LionsFan4Life wrote:

GW, Laura and Dick Cheney were all flying on Air Force One and GW goes and says.. " I could throw a thousand dollar bill out the plane and make one person happy" Laura goes " Oh yeah?! I can throw 10 one undred dollar bills out the plane and make 10 people happy." Dick says, " I can beat all of ya.. I can throw out 100 ten dollar bills and make 100 people happy."

The capt of the plane over hears this and turns to his co-pilot and says.. "You here them 3 back there gloating? Well, I can throw all 3 of them out and make 56 million people happy"

ZING!!!!

_________________

August 23rd, 2010, 4:28 pm

TheRealWags

Modmin Dude

Joined: December 31st, 2004, 9:55 amPosts: 12488

Re: Joke of the Day

slybri19 wrote:

LionsFan4Life wrote:

Well, I was reading this for the funny jokes.. now it just seems the 'jokes' are the ones slamming the POTUS. Not funny in my book.. so another thread I won't be reading anymore.

Kinda like the joke you made on October 2nd, 2006:

LionsFan4Life wrote:

GW, Laura and Dick Cheney were all flying on Air Force One and GW goes and says.. " I could throw a thousand dollar bill out the plane and make one person happy" Laura goes " Oh yeah?! I can throw 10 one undred dollar bills out the plane and make 10 people happy." Dick says, " I can beat all of ya.. I can throw out 100 ten dollar bills and make 100 people happy."

The capt of the plane over hears this and turns to his co-pilot and says.. "You here them 3 back there gloating? Well, I can throw all 3 of them out and make 56 million people happy"

ZING!!!!

Hmm...something about people and stones and glass houses comes to mind or pots and kettles

_________________

Quote:

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right....

August 23rd, 2010, 4:41 pm

m2karateman

RIP Killer

Joined: October 20th, 2004, 4:16 pmPosts: 10398Location: Where ever I'm at now

Re: Joke of the Day

Isn't that the way of Democrats? They can dish it out but can't take it. They'll wave the Constitution in your face when it suits them, then want to tear it up when you're waving it back at them.

Hahahaha. GW...what an idiot. Can't even speak right. But hey, don't say anything about Obama and his teleprompters....or the 57 states of this country.....or speaking Austrian.

Honestly....Democrats ARE pussies....that's how this country got so f-ed up, because of liberal Dems.