Scrapbooking

Where I Become *That* Parent

Lord, help me. I don't want to be *that* parent. Those parents drive me crazy on a regular basis.

The mom who, last week, claimed that her daughter had spent three hours a day for three weeks working on her summer reading assignment only to receive a failing grade while another student in my class put something together at the last minute and received "an easy A" from me. Mom demanded that I copy Easy-A's paper and send it home with her daughter for mom to compare. Of course, her daughter neglected to do half the summer reading assignment, and that might have something to do with the poor grade. Maybe. Or maybe it's just me. Being evil.

Or the other moms and dads who refuse to allow their children to take responsibility for their actions (like bald-faced cheating) or in-actions (not doing the work). They frustrate me.

So when something with my kid happens at school, I react with my gut and then take a breath. I ask myself if I have the whole story. I ask myself how my kid is at fault and what can be done to redirect him. I ask how I can help the teacher do her job.

But then my kid came home and told me the teacher told him that he pooped his pants on purpose because he was mad at her. He was totally depressed and deflated. I wrote a calm email asking what happened. Her reply just made it worse. And then I stewed.

I was, and am, unholy pissed.

My kid's kindergarten teacher is gonna wake up to an officially not-fun email.

I spoke with Hipkid's pediatrician today about this issue. She was very clear that Hipkid should be allowed to use the restroom when he needs to. If there is a problem with him needing to use the restroom too many times during work time, please let me know, and we will deal with that problem at home. But from now on, when Hipkid says he needs to use the restroom, I expect that he will be allowed to leave and use the restroom. I will send a letter from his doctor tomorrow in his folder.

I do not appreciate the suggestion that Hipkid poops on purpose in the classroom in frustration when he is told to wait. Not only do your comments shame him, but no child would willingly have an accident in front of his peers. While he is very active and certainly a handful, Hipkid is not a spiteful child. I cannot believe that this had to happen three times before I heard about it and only after I contacted you. If my child is unable to control his bowels to the point that he is pooping in the classroom, then I need to be informed; otherwise, as his parent, I am unable to take care of any underlying medical or emotional issues.

I am not saying that Hipkid does not need to take any responsibility for his actions. His father and I have spoken with him about the importance of trying to go to the restroom at the appropriate times, even when he might not feel like he needs to go. He will do his best to use the restroom at those times, but when he feels the need to go at another time, he should not have to wait or be accused of pooping on purpose or to avoid work.

At Hipkid's physical, the doctor also tested Hipkid's hearing and found that he suffers from moderate hearing loss. He has had frequent bad ear infections since he was a baby and has had tubes twice. The hearing loss is significant, and we have an appointment in a few weeks with a specialist to see what we can do to recover his hearing. In the meantime, please be mindful of his hearing loss when giving directions. Hipkid will certainly ignore you and not pay attention at times, but there are other times when he legitimately does not hear what is spoken.