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You Smell Like Gigantoraptor Piss #JurassicPark

2:08 PM

It has always had my heart as a kid. I used to have them stashed in the toy bids and I had the pictures on my wall. Next to Bo Jackson and DieonSanders. I used to write about them in essays, that I know at some point my teacher hated to read. I watched the TV show. I always wanted one on my birthday. The T-Rex. I don't know if it was the savage size (40 feet), the power that just laid between the teeth. I'm talking force of anywhere from 1,500 to 3,000 pounds per square inch, comparable to that of a modern alligator, and more recent studies put that figure in the 5,000-pound range. (For purposes of comparison, the average adult human can bite with a force of about 175 pounds). T. Rex's powerful jaws may even have been capable of shearing off a ceratopsian's horns!

So it's safe to say that when Jurassic Park came out, I had to see it. Actually, first I wanted to know if this was real and can I go. I had my lunch money for the week, ready to blow it. I wanted to see some flying,swimming and killing? Yeah, I wanted the whole thing.

Clearly that didn't happen since it was just a movie. Judging by the movies, it wasn't that great of an idea (all them wild aminals in one place) to begin with. Yikes.

It seem like when it comes to this type of thing, you have to make a list. The order I enjoyed the movies. I'll even toss in Jurassic World. To be clear, I enjoy them all to death.

Jurassic ParkIndustrialist John Hammond and his bioengineering company, InGen, have created a theme park called Jurassic Park on Isla Nublar, a Costa Rican island, populated with cloned dinosaurs. After one of the dinosaur handlers is killed by a Velociraptor, the park's investors, represented by lawyer Donald Gennaro, say that experts must visit the park and certify it as safe. Gennaro invites mathematician Ian Malcolm, while Hammond invites paleontologist Dr. Alan Grant and paleobotanist Dr. Ellie Sattler.

Jurassic WorldTwenty-two years after Jurassic Park was overrun by cloned dinosaurs on the Central American island of Isla Nublar, a new park, Jurassic World, has become a successful resort. The Masrani Global Corporation – owner of the genetics company InGen that creates the dinosaurs – has been operating the park on the same island for the past ten years. Brothers Zach and Gray Mitchell visit Jurassic World to see their aunt Claire Dearing, the park's operations manager. Claire, a busy workaholic, assigns her assistant to be their guide, but the boys evade her and explore the resort on their own.

Jurassic Park III Ben Hildebrand and 12-year-old Eric Kirby go parasailing around the waters of Isla Sorna. An unknown creature attacks and kills the boat crew, forcing Ben to detach the line; he and Eric drift towards the island. On the mainland, Dr. Alan Grant has become famous after his involvement at Jurassic Park, while Ellie Sattler is married and has two children. Grant discusses with Sattler how raptors are far more intelligent than they had previously believed. At a dig site, Grant's assistant, Billy Brennan, demonstrates how he can use a 3D printer to replicate a Velociraptor larynx.

Paul and Amanda Kirby, a seemingly wealthy couple, offer Grant funding for his research if he will give them an aerial tour of Isla Sorna. Although initially suspicious of their true intentions, Grant is desperate for research support and thus reluctantly agrees. He flies there along with Paul, Amanda, Billy, and the Kirbys' mercenary associates, Udesky, Cooper, and their pilot Nash. On the plane, Grant learns that the Kirbys actually plan to land on the island.

The Lost World: Jurassic ParkFour years after Jurassic Park was overrun by cloned dinosaurs on the Central American island of Isla Nublar, a young girl named Cathy Bowman wanders around on nearby Isla Sorna during a family vacation, and survives an attack by a swarm of Compsognathus. Her parents file a lawsuit against the genetics company InGen, now headed by John Hammond's nephew, Peter Ludlow, who plans to use Isla Sorna to alleviate the financial losses imposed by the Jurassic Park incident. Mathematician Dr. Ian Malcolm meets Hammond at his mansion. Hammond explains that Isla Sorna, abandoned years earlier during a hurricane, is where InGen created their dinosaurs before moving them to Jurassic Park on Isla Nublar. Hammond hopes to stop InGen by sending a team to Isla Sorna to document the dinosaurs, to help rally public support against human interference on the island. Ian, with his memories of the Jurassic Park incident, is reluctant to go to the island. After learning that his girlfriend, paleontologist Dr. Sarah Harding, is part of the team and is already on Isla Sorna, Ian agrees to go to the island, but only to retrieve her.