About Me

Let me start by saying I am NOT and will never claim to be an expert on anything. However, I do know a little about a lot of things...like being a daughter, a nurse, a referee, a teacher, a coach, a therapist, a cook, a housekeeper, a judge, a jury, a landscaper, a student, a wife, and most importantly...a mother.
Now for some things I know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about...bear hunting, skydiving, Naples, history, symbolism, engines, HTML, which came first...the chicken or the egg, etc....
Now, some things I am trying to learn a lot about...spirituality, darwinism, all faiths, history, meditation, nursing, maybe med school, and which came first the chicken or the egg.
I'm a SAHM who is never at home. My life is busy and crazy and I wouldn't change a minute of it!

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Sunday, September 28, 2008

This pic is hilarious! The kid is so afraid of the dark it's ridiculous! We go through the same thing every night...making sure that just enough lights are left on and the door is left cracked open just enough. It takes several attempts and usually about 30-45 minutes to achieve the perfect combination! Most nights, before I go to bed...I go in to check on him and he has shut his door and is sound asleep with the lights on. This particular night...I found him surrounded with weapons and "dudes" to protect him.

I don't worry so much...Lily was the same way. Then, one day...out of the blue, she said..."I'm not afraid of the dark anymore." And, that was it...she wasn't. She now turns out her light, shuts her door and complains if any light from Jack's many night lights seep under her door.

Until then, we'll keep him locked and loaded and ready to go...just in case there are things that go bump in the night!

Ya know....you hear the words from your mouth after they were spoken and been a little shocked or surprised by what you said. This is what I heard myself say today, well, yell today....

"GET OUT OF MY FACE WITH THAT FACE...I'M TIRED OF SEEING KIDS WITH THAT FACE!!!"

Kinda weird, huh? Oh yeah...I've said some things that are much more foul and offensive, but these words just struck me as funny! This was in reference to 2 very pouty children approaching me consecutively within minutes of one another...hoping that their pouty lips and sad eyes might influence me into changing my mind about....whatever it was I had previously said "no" to.

Poor kids...I remember trying out those faces with my mom...what am I talking about...I still use those faces with Jake!!!

Friday, September 26, 2008

funny how just the change in weather can make u miss someone so terribly.

my son was born in december, was transplanted in late august and died in november. this time of year always stirs up so many emotions for me.

it's been 10 years since his death...every year i expect it to get easier and easier...but i wouldn't call it easier...just different. time heals all wounds....i don't think so. time stops the bleeding and forms a scab...but something as simple as cool breeze marking the change of a season can reopen the wound...bringing the realization that you are not healed and may never be.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Yeah...I used to always think my mom was so lame for griping about not being able to see at night while driving and holding papers at arms length to be able to read them.

Well, here I am at the ripe old age of 31...my eyesight is failing me! I guess starting school made me realize how bad it was...I was struggling to read and couldn't get the book far enough away to see. So, I swallowed my pride and went to the eye doctor.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Jack got an airsoft gun for his birthday..why we thought it was a good idea to arm this child...I'll never know and, yes, it was a grandma gift...Avery got one too and before we sent them out in the backyard to kill each other we thought we'd test it out to see how bad the bullets hurt. So, I volunteer...Jake's testosterone kicks in and he realizes he can't let his wife take one for the team...so he takes several steps across the yard, turns his back to me...and with just the slightest bit of glee...I shoot him right between the shoulder blades. Jake starts hollering, jumping up and down, swatting at his back like there's a swarm of bees after him and screams..."NEVER, EVER SHOOT EACH OTHER..." We check the site of impact and there is a whelp the size of a nickel and a bright purple/red blood blister the size of a pencil eraser right in the center....it continues to sting and the point is proven to the kids...they will never shoot one another.

Now...to yesterday...I was putting Jack's air rifle up and glanced down noticing the bright green bullet ready for fire...I thought I should empty it, but then thought, nah...they won't shoot it at anyone, it's fine...a thought I later regret...I check the safety, then put it on his shelf. The kids had just gotten home from school and I was lecturing about something...to all three of the kids...Jack, apparently sick of my ranting, grabs his rifle, points directly at me, says "Hey Mom" I turn and look, he fires....and....at point blank range, I was shot right in the ass!!!!! So, I start hollering, jumping up and down and swatting my ass like there's a swarm of bees after me. I remember glancing at the kids and the look of fear on their faces...was absolutely priceless. Jack was terrified, he ran and hid in his room...Avery and Lily ran as far from the scene as they could possibly be and my husband, my defender, my protector....sits on the couch hysterically laughing. In his defense...from his perspective, I'm sure it was HILARIOUS. I would've taken pix, but it was my ass...so, I thought I would spare you all!!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Came across the pix from this wonderful family adventure...reminded me of all the fun we had...all of the pix capturing the cries of pain from my children who may never camp again!

We had taken the kids to Mineral Wells to camp on what turned out to be the HOTTEST weekend of the summer!!! This is how it went down....

Hour 3: It didn't take long for Jack to get himself into a pickle. We hear horrible shrieks from the hill behind our campsite...Jack fell into a cactus, tried to get the spines out on his own and now had them in both arms, his leg and his stomach. It took about 30 minutes for Jake and I to pull each of them out with the tweezers.

Hour 8: Familiar shrieks from behind the campsite...a little softer and a little higher pitched. Lily fell into a cactus. I thought I remembered hearing something about using duct tape to help remove the needles of a cactus. We tried it and Lily went nuts...hysterical crying. Got out the trusty tweezers and after another 30 minutes...she was spine-free! I later remembered that the duct tape is good for removing fiberglass and definitely NOT good for removing cactus spines. Ooops...my bad! Sorry Lily!

Hour10: We try to light the lantern...it's not working right and the batteries are dead in the flashlight. It's dark and we can't see a thing! After making S'mores in the dark, we decide that since we can't see and we're all worn out, we should turn in. Our air mattress is flat! To add insult to injury...the fan had fallen in the dirt during the day and it is now louder than a Harley Davidson. The kids hardly notice, but Jake and I decide to sleep in the back of the suburban.

The next morning we canoe, sweat, swim, eat, sweat, fish and sweat some more!

Hour 30: While listening to fish tales from their fishing trip, I notice something on Avery's arm. It's a tick! Ewwww! I remembered hearing something about burning the tick so it will retreat and the head won't get stuck inside you when you pull it out. We fire up one of the marshmallow roasters on the grill to try to burn the tick. Avery is freaking out. People use the term "freaking out" pretty loosely. People are always talking about people "freaking out". Well, I now have seen someone actually "freaking out" and it's a little sad and uncomfortable to watch! Avery can't sit still long enough for us to burn the tick, so we resort back to the tweezers. We pull the thing out and hope that the head comes with the body.

At this point in the weekend....we're hot, we're tired, Lily and Jack are still finding cactus spines all over, Avery might have Lyme disease and we just may all have to be re-hydrated intravenously. For the first time ever, we cut our trip a little short and in record time disassemble our camp, throw everything in the suburban and head HOME!

Moral of the story: Don't waste your money on an abundant amount of expensive camping equipment. Flashlights, lanterns, fans, air mattresses, tents...who needs them! You can buy the most important camping tool at any drug store for about a dollar. DON'T FORGET THE TWEEZERS!

We tried it again and I think this may have been our worst attempt yet. Which means it can only get better next time, right? I'll probably regret having said that!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

OMG...most people probably wouldn't share this, but if you were a young girl...or have a young girl...or had a girl who was young once...you've probably experienced this -- relax boys...i'm not talking about Aunt Flo!!

Anyway...I was combing my little girls hair Friday morning before she left for the weekend with friend...and lo and behold...LICE!! OH MY!!!!!

We had to cancel on her friend, run to Wal-Mart...I bought every shampoo known to man...tons of detergent with bleach...the whole works. Now I will spend the next 48 hours washing, rinsing and repeating on my daughter. Washing every linen, towel and article of clothing in my kids rooms...going through my daughters hair literally strand by strand to make sure every single last nit is gone!!!! And...that's only if she's the only one who has it....God save me if any of the rest of us have it.

I'm thinking I should just burn the place to the ground, claim the insurance and move on!!! The insurance company might suspect arson when the dog makes it out alive, so here's my story...stay with me....

"I don't know what happened Mr. Officer....While I was finishing off my 2nd bottle of wine...whilst trying to drink my troubles away...which, by the way, i most likely resort to because my parents were mean to me. Anyway...in my stupor i go to light up a fag and still have some of the bleach from all the laundry on my shirt...my shirt just BURSTS into flames. My husband...with sex the furthest thing from his mind and no other motive other than trying to save me, of course....rips my shirt off and flings it into my mountainous pile of laundry...you know all the laundry from the lice. And then, to my surprise, THAT just bursts into flames and the whole house went up with it. "

We round up the children, run as far as we can from the house...and then claim that on insurance.

Do you think that'll fly??? Kids...if I didn't love my daughter so much...I would simply shave her head and change her name to Tom.

Monday, September 8, 2008

My Psych professor made a similar post on the discussion board inspiring my take on the change of the seasons:

I just fed the kids, the dog and passed by my yoga mat that may never be used again…at least not until this degree is finished. The days move more quickly now…with just a brief lull while everyone is at school and the only sound to be heard is the clicking of the keyboard while I type this message. The coolness of the air has brought with it a newness and an energy that the summer sun seems to stifle. The couch sits with the impatience of a child on Christmas Eve…eagerly anticipating “any given Sunday”….it, too, knows.

Monday, September 1, 2008

1/2 shot Ameretto1/2 shot Vodka1/2 shot Creme De Cocoa2 shots Half & Half1 tsp GrenadineChocolate Syrup*note: OR omit the grenadine and just use cherry vodka in place of the plain vodka and just do a wee splash of grenadine on top.

Pour all ingredients (except chocolate syrup!) into an ice filled shaker, shake and strain into a cocktail glass (or martini glass). Drizzle a bit of syrup into an abstract design on the top. Garnish with a maraschino cherry if you'd like.

Slice up mango. Puree with simple syrup in a blender. Add tequila, triple sec, lemon and ice. Blend until smooth. Pour into frosted margarita glass.(This can be made with mango juice instead of a full mango for an un-blended version. Replace mango with approx 2-3 shots of mango juice and shimmy all ingredients in an ice-filled shaker. Pour into ice-filled rocks glass. Virgin version? Omit Tequila.)Salted rim optional.Note: Not a fan of Mango? Substitue any fruit of choice! Omit/alter simple syrup depending on sweetness of desired fruit.

Fuzzy Screw

1 shot Vodka1 shot Peach SchnappsOrange Juice

Pour shots into ice-filled hurricane glass and top with orange juice. Want to enhance the color a bit? Add a wee splash of grenadine. Garnish with orange wedge. Enjoy!

Fill highball with ice. Add vodka. Add Viso (leaving an inch to the rim). Add a splash of soda water. Slowly drizzle grenadine around the inner rim of the glass. It should start to slowly sink... and well.. look like blood. :)Garnish with a blood orange wedge or lemon.

(Edit: This recipe is very Label oriented. No worries. Buy the cheap stuff and splurge on the good fruit.)

Use a large container ie: ice chest or similar. (Edit: Big stand up cooler with spot works.) Allow the fruit to soak in all the alcohol for about 4 - 12 hours. Add all the juice and let sit overnight. Serve the next day. (Edit: the blackberries will give the liquid a slight purple hue. I wouldn't add them until an hour before you're ready to serve- as they are most delicate.)(Another Edit: I love a splash of pomegranate juice as well. Splash equals a pint in this recipe.)Reserve some fresh cut fruit to garnish. With an umbrella of course.

Pour slowly and in order into shot glass. Should be slightly layered. Also great shaken and strained into ice-filled rocks glass. Great for the holidays and soooo snazzy with a mini candy cane for garnish if on the rocks.

Green Jolly Rancher

1 shot Southern Comfort1 shot Midori Melon1/2 shot sweet and sour

Pour all shots into ice-filled shaker, shake and strain into rocks glass.

Dip the rim of an 8-10oz glass (do you have glass coffee mugs? those are perfect) in lime juice and then in sugar. Add the 151 and Triple Sec. With a long match, carefully light the liqueurs, swirling the glass to melt the sugar on the rim. Pour in the Kahlua (this will extinguish the flame) and then add the coffee. Top with whipped cream and sprinkle with nutmeg. If you want to be super fancy... stick a rum-soaked sugar cube on top of the whipped cream and light it on fire. I've only done that twice as the bar was always too cheap to buy anything but sugar packets. :)

Screwed Banana

1 shot Banana liqueur 1 shot Peach schnapps Orange juice

Pour shots into an ice-filled highball-glass and top with orange juice!

DirectionsCut up a watermelon, removing seeds. Liquify in a blender until you have about 16 oz. Add remaining ingredients, top with ice and blend until smooth. Taste and add sugar if watermelon is not sweet enough. Serve in a margarita glass with a sugar-coated rim.

Drool. (But okay... I'm a freak and love sprinkling kosher salt on my watermelon. If you're feeling adventurous... rim the glass with kosher salt or margarita salt. Garnish that loveliness with a wedge of watermelon and a wedge of lime.)Note: You can make this a Virgin Watermelon Margarita by omitting the tequila, adding a few more splashes of triple sec and lime... and adding a splash of soda water or watermelon juice when blending. Also great with a splash of orange or peach juice.

In an ice filled shaker, mix vodka, triple sec and pineapple juice. Strain into a Martini glass. Leave enough room to top off with Champagne! Garnish with pineapple chunks. Enjoy!!

(The Desperate Housewife I'm used to making is with 1. raspberry stoli and 2. a chocolate version. Can't wait to give this one a try!)

Brandy Highball

2 shots of BrandyTop with soda waterAdd lemon peel

Served in a high-ball glass on the rocks.

Brandy Alexander

shot and a half of Brandy shot of white Creme de Cacoashot of cream (I prefer 1/2 and 1/2)a couple grates of fresh nutmeg

Shake all ingredients (except nutmeg) in ice-filled shaker and pour over ice-filled rocks glass. Garnish with nutmeg. Without ice: see above and pour into a martini glass and garnish with nutmeg. I'll even do a blast of whipped cream if you prefer. (Just make sure you grate or shake the nutmeg on top of the whipped cream for presentation. ;))

Mixing instructions:Pour all ingredients (except 7-up) into a (chilled) pint glass filled with ice. You're essentially pouring a shot of vodka, rum (I usually go half-shot, up to you), tequila and 1/2 shot of gin (trust me on this). Shot of blue curacoa, shot and a half of sweet and sour and top with a splash of 7-up. Garnish with a cherry and lime wedge.

Place lime juice, mint and sugar into a pitcher. Using a muddle stick mash to release mint oils, and dissolve sugar into juice. Add rum and lots of ice topped with club soda. Adding more club soda to glasses if a lighter drink is desired. Garnish with fresh mint and lime slices. Serves 10

Mixing Instructions:Pour rum, creme de banane, melon liqueur and pineapple juice into a stainless steel shaker over ice. Add whipped cream, and shake; until well mixed and sufficiently chilled. Strain into an old-fashioned glass and shoot. (Krista's edit: I may add some more whipped cream on top for garnish. ReEdit: Actually it looks like they do in the photo. I do not know! I've only made it w/o the whipped cream mixed in and only for garnish!

Beer margarita

1 12 oz can of frozen limeade concentratefill that can with tequila, dump it in.add 3-4 12 oz light beers

(Grab a pitcher... add ingredients... serve in an ice cold, ice filled rocks glass with salt on the rim. Use lime to rim the glass (prior to salting) and garnish with lime wedge!)

Kool-Aid Slammer

1/2 shot grape kool-aid1/2 shot vodka

Fill half the shot glass with the kool-aid first. Then put a paper towel over the top of the glass and slowly pour in the vodka. If you do it right, you should be able to see that the two liquids are separated, with the vodka on top. Now slam it!

Save 1/4 cup marinade for later. Combine 2 tbsp. of pineapple juice, 1/2 cup marinade, and mustard; pour into sealable bag and add chicken, vegetables and mushrooms. Do not marinade the pineapple. Marinate for 30 minutes in fridge. Remove chicken and vegetables from bag and discard marinade. Thread all ingredients onto skewers. Grill or broil for 10 minutes. Turning and brushing with reserved marinade or until chicken is no longer pink. Discard remaining marinade. Or pour it over ice, like I do. I’m kidding, that’s so gross.

Combine the first three ingredients and stir until sugar is dissolved. add a cup of warm water first to get the sugar-dissolving process started) add remaining cold water, add ice and lemon slices to the pitcher. ( Normally the Lemon Drop isn't made with full-blown lemonade. You do the mass squeeze of lemon with vodka after sucking on a sugar coated lemon. But when I read this recipe... I thought... dude. Cut out the middle man. Fresh Lemonade! Yum! Add Vodka!? Hello Mothership!))So make this batch of Gia's lemonade. (You'll have more than enough for non-alcoholic beverages for the kids. Well... make two batches.)Take a martini glass and rim the edge with sugar. Set aside. Grab your cocktail shaker

(btw, I've mentioned a shaker a lot. If you do not have one... invest in a stainless steel one. OR (mah trick...:)) use a portable coffee mug. You know the ones you get from Starbucks? Not plastic, stainless steel.They are smaller than your average shaker and do not come with a straining lid... but you can rig it. Oh... and if it's a coffee mug with the slide slip lid? That can work as a strainer too! Just know the stainless steel coffee mugs are smaller than cocktail shakers.) But really... a cocktail shaker isn't too spendy. I found mine at Wal Mart.)

Lemon Drop :

Fill your shaker with ice. (I dunno... I prefer crushed ice (it gives that ice crystal effect))... take full cubes and stick them in a ziplock bag. Take a mallet to it. :).Add 2 shots of vodka (Absolute Citron is yum.. but I've used (plain)Smirnoff and it works. I'd rather save the Citron to shoot by itself.)Add 5 shots of Gia's lemonadeShake vigorously.

Strain into prepared, sugar-rimmed martini glass and garnish with a lemon wedge. Blackberries make a stunning contrast with the lemon wedge/slice... as do raspberries. Always on the rim- never IN the cocktail itself.

Pour all ingredients into a salt-rimmed old-fashioned glass. Stir. Garnish with a slice of lime, and serve.Serve in: Old-Fashioned Glass old-fashioned glass=rocks glass. And although it doesn't say... I'm going to say make sure this drink is ice cold. I'm thinking you could shake over ice and strain it into a martini glass (no ice) or a rocks glass (with ice).

Midnight Samurai

3/4 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur1 oz sake rice wine

Shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into glass. Serve in: Cocktail Glass Martini glass for sure. Add a chocolate curl for a touch of fancy.

Garnish with a peach wedge/orange wedge/strawberry/raspberries... all up to you.

Black and Tan

Pint glass. COLD pint glass.1/2 Bass pale ale1/2 Guinness

Fill pint glass half full with Bass. Next pour Guiness over a spoon (curved part and lean it against the inside of the glass) slowly until glass is full. If done correctly the Guiness will stay on top and the Bass on bottom.

Nuts And Berry Martini

Ingredients:Ice cubes 1 part berry vodka (recommended: Skyy Berry) 1/2 part creme de cassis (recommended: Hiram Walker) (this is a sweet, black currant-flavored liqueur- works for many cocktails so an investment in a small bottle won't do you wrong)1/2 part amaretto (recommended: Disaronno)(an almond liqueur- any low shelf bottle will do as it is just used for flavor) 1/2 part lemon/lime soda (I prefer regular soda water/ club soda with fresh lime- for sweetness add a splash of sweet and sour)Freshly squeezed lime juice Fresh berries, for garnish DirectionsChill martini glasses.

Put ice cubes in a shaker. Pour in vodka, cream de cassis, amaretto, and lemon/lime soda.. Squeeze in lime juice. Shake. Strain into chilled martini glass. Garnish with a fresh cherry. (Use a fancy toothpick and stick a lime wedge, blackberry and FRESH cherry to garnish)

Translation: Grab a shaker, fill with crushed ice. Pour 1 shot of cherry vodka (Skyy Berry). 1/4- 1/2 shot of creme de cassis1/4 ameretto (this is strong so I'm calling for a quarter shot although the recipe calls for half-shot.)1 shot of Sprite or 7-up (although I would substitute plain soda and fresh squeezed lime)Freshly squeezed lime juice (ok, see above... I'm kinda cool that way... but just do half a lime squeezed total and add more to taste.)Please chill your glasses. Really. It makes all the difference in the world... and it's free. Shake all ingredients vigoursously in shaker.Pour into chilled/iced martini glass. Add garnish of lime wedge, blackberry and cherry (no maraschino BS... save those for the RobRoys) on a cute toothpick if you're feeling festive. If not, a lime wedge will rock.

Black Jack Margarita

Prep: Rub the rim of a margarita glass (or rocks glass) with a lime wedge. Dunk rim in salt (optional). Fill glass with crushed ice (again optional- you can have it straight up if you'd like), set aside.Fill a scoop (or a few cubes) of crushed ice into a shaker.Add 1-2 shots of tequilaAdd 1/2 shot of triple secAdd 1/2 shot of Chambord raspeberry liqueurAdd 1 shot of sweet and sour mixSqueeze 1/2 lime (reserve the other half for garnish)

Take a chilled pint glass and rub the rim with lime. Dunk the rim in kosher salt. Fill with crushed ice.Add:1 full shot of vodka (I do 1 and 1/2)Squeeze a slice of lime and slice of lemon. Toss them both (both rinds) into the glass.Shake 4 LARGE dollops of Worcestershire sauceShake 4 drops of TabascoOne shake of celery salt3 shakes of Montreal Steak Seasoning1 teaspoon of green olive juice (I prefer more...)1 teaspoon of horseradish (optional)Top off with V8 (or Mr & Mrs T's Bloody Mary Mix- found in all liquor stores)Use straw to mix so you don't disturb the salt rim. Garnish with large green olives, a lemon wedge and a celery stick.

Art of The Duck Fart.

Take a shot glass.Layer equal parts of Kaluha, Baileys, Whisky (I use cheap canadian) in that order.Do it over the underside of a spoon, up against the side of the glass to get the layered look.

Irish Carbomb!

Take a frosty pint glass and fill 1/3 with ice cold Guiness (dark beer).Fill a shot glass with 1/3 Jameson or Bushmills and 1/3 Bailey's Irish Cream(Pour the baileys over the arched edge of the spoon to create the separated shot.)Drop shot glass and all into the pint glass of Guiness and chug.Like the Cherry Bomb, watch your teeth.

Directions: Throw everything EXCEPT the olive oil into a mini food processor. Pulse to get the juices flowing. Slowly drizzle the olive oil through the top slot of the processor lid. You may use more or less olive oil depending on the consistency you prefer your hummus. I serve it spread as a dip on a plate,(curve the spoon and build a concave to house the cayenne and oil like a bowl in the center) drizzle with a touch of olive oil and sprinkle with some cayenne. Pita is the obvious choice to go with it... but man all mighty... mini pretzels are my fave.

*tahini is a sesame paste found in most major grocery stores or natural stores (ie: Trader Joes). It gives the hummus that nutty, authentic flavor. A little goes a long way and one jar (think peanut butter) will last quite awhile. If you can find it... buy it! I only use tahini for hummus or Baba Ghanoush. . . .....Which is a smoked eggplant dip.... same recipe as above, just replace fresh, baked, olive oil coated eggplant instead of garbanzo beans. Eggplant is severely watery and the olive oil you use to bake it is still in there so you may not need to add as much extra olive oil when you mix it!!.Note: If you don't have a mini-processor... use a large one and double the recipe, as the blades of the large one don't get as close to the bottom as the mini does. It saves well. I'd even venture to say you could use a hand mixer if you were desperate. The trick is to add the olive oil in a drizzle and DO NOT use the garbanzo juice. Also keep in mind, this is just the "base". You can add roasted red peppers... or chopped greek olives... If you can't find Tahini... omit it. You'll still enjoy it. Add a sprinkle of turmeric and CUMIN**... it'll work. .Want to get truly authentic? Brown diced cubes of beef until crispy in a saute pan- dump into "concave" of hummus. Add pine nuts into the same pan and heat until they are roasted and golden brown. Pour into the "concave" of the hummus and serve with pita. Great party dip.**CUMIN. When in doubt... always add a couple pinches.