Paul Rudd is a snazzy dresser and has everything going for him. Photo: Ray Tamarra/FilmMagic

Although Paul Rudd’s young, handsome, successful, rich, married, has two kids, I have decided I love him.

For now he’s everywhere: at screenings, on talk shows, doing morning TV, radio, Morse code, even hawking his new flick “Prince Avalanche” on some old Victrola’s 78 RPM.

“Can’t believe it’s 18 years since my first hit, ‘Clueless,’ ” he says.

“Strange to think how that feels. I remember my first day. We shot at Paramount in LA. Driving through that well-known entrance, I was excited. Seeing that famous gate I thought, ‘Wow, I can’t believe it’s me and I’m really here doing this.’ ”

OK, so now he’s a hotshot, how has life changed?

“I just sold my third private plane because truth is I don’t need more than two. However, I haven’t yet given up on bathing in Dom Pérignon.”

OK, smartass. What’s your lifestyle?

“Hey, it’s not movie star-ish. No security guys around. Rarely go to clubs. Hobbies? I just think about them. I have two kids, 8 and 3. I hang out with them. Play with them. I step across legs, snooze on laps. I like simplicity.”

Unlike those crowding in to see his film, Rudd was not in rumpled tee, flip-flops, dungarees with a crotch below an elephant’s belly. He was elegant. Tailored blue suit, blue tie, perfect shirt, spiffy shoes.

Somebody shoved a phone at him, featuring dozens of his photos going back years. Each looked the same. He studied them. “Clear to me which is older,” he said, “But I’m glad nobody else can tell.”

Not only was no special space cordoned off for him, but we sat facing a gents’ toilet. As we spoke, some beaut hurried out zipping up.

Rumor mill

Spitzer the Shpritzer, the has he or hasn’t he a ladyfriend? While married, he paid for it. While now only semi-married, the loud rumor is he may be getting it for free . . . Medicine man Dr. Max Gomez (from whatever once was CBS Ch. 2) inhaling mussels at Flex Mussels . . . Go figure: Detroit’s “Motown the Musical”? A hit. Detroit itself? A flop . . . IRS note: Anyone living in a Manhattan apartment over five years, cockroaches may be deducted as household pets.

Woody & Sony forever

Tom Bernard, co-president with Michael Barker, on Sony Pictures Classics always getting the Woody Allen movies: “He called us. He likes us. He said, ‘Want to see it?’ We’ve done six other of his films including his biggest two years ago, ‘Midnight in Paris.’ Woody started with Sony the parent company, so we know him many years. ‘Blue Jasmine’ is brilliant. You feel he’s written the roles directly for the actors.”

Said its star Cate Blanchett: “His direction is in the writing.”

What that means, who knows? But that’s what they said.

Odds & ends

Honoring Michael Jackson’s 55th birthday, every Thursday this month Bensalem, Pa.’s Parx Casino spins a wheel for a $55,000 King of Pop giveaway . . . David Duchovny: “I was very young, walking Third Avenue past 12th Street, a woman offered, ‘Five dollars for . . . ’ and named her certain part. Wondering how much for the whole thing, I’ve thought more about her than women I’ve spent significant time with.”

Talking A-Rod, this from a specialist on the subject: “Athletes can intentionally beat a drug testing system . . . They need no sophisticated methods to do so due to a lack of adequate testing.” One injection every 10 days for “maintenance,” three times a week during “the corrective phase” . . . Pro sports, filled with collusion, corruption and doping cover-ups has used steroids “over 50 years.”

He flat-out states: “The majority of athletes in the Hall of Fame used some kind of drug enhancement.”