How Has Your Day Been Michel?

Picture the scene, a plush Munich hotel and a frustrated chambermaid desperate to do her duty.

This housemaid, a pretty blonde thing with her hair in pigtails and with a skirt that`s so short there not a lot left to the imagination, has repeatedly banged on the door of this plush bedroom for the last hour, but to no avail.

In desperation she tries one more time, desperate to get the room vacated for the next guest with deep pockets and a fat wallet.

Still there is no answer so she decides to bellow out loud, in the hope that the occupant can be stirred.

"Mr Platini" she cries.

"I really need you to vacate the room. I have another guest booked into it tonight"

Suddenly she can hear a noise shuffling towards the door, the handle turns and a rather dishevelled looking Michel Platini opens I remarking,

"But what`s the point, the world has ended. Despite all my best laid plans, they did it."

"In the past I`ve used a crooked ref, I`ve labelled them the 'axis of evil`, I`ve used my powers to fine them, to ban players but still they prevailed."

"Hell, I even gave them the hardest semi-final I could, I threw Barcelona into their paths, but they prevailed."

"Hell, I even placed the damn final in Munich to give Bayern every advantage. I made sure that they had four players suspended, four key player, I even made sure that the ticket allocation was a lottery, giving them 17,00 tickets but making sure the Allianz Arena was packed to the rafters with Bayern supporters, but still they prevailed."

"But to add insult to injury, I arrived back at the hotel late last night and found that the chef`s special was something from England called 'Cottage Pie` and that breakfast this morning was a 'Full English` - no wonder I crawled under my duvet and stayed there."

"I am shamed; I can never show my face in public again, not now Chelsea Football Club have won the Champions League."

"Hell, it was all going so to plan, I was so certain Bayern would win, so certain that Bavaria would prevail and so certain that I`d be rid of that Chelsea lot from my prestige competition next season."

"Now you see why I`ve not shown my face today."

"Yes Mr Platini" she replied.

"But Mr Abramovich wants to know if you fancy a lift back to France in his jet this evening and enjoy a friendly chat about his wonderful night."

APPARENTLY A QUOTE FROM TORRES:
It’s contradictory because I feel like I’m at a peak moment in my career, with more desire and hunger than I’ve felt in a long time, but I’ve had to spend the final on the bench. It was a huge disappointment when I saw the lineup, perhaps the biggest in my life. This season I have felt things that I never had before. I’ve felt like they treated me in a way that I didn’t expect...not in the way that was spoken of when they signed me. We’ve had a lot of talks and we’ll talk about my future because the role I’ve had this season is not for me, nor is it the one I expected to play when I came here.
I’m not comfortable. I want them to tell me what is going to happen in the future. Football has been fair on us, on me. Now I do feel like football is worth it, but I’ve been through a difficult time, the worst in my career. Dont want that again. I need the club to tell me what is going to happen and what sort of role I will have within the team, what my duties are.....what the club expects of me. And then judge whether it is worth it.

@Lakuplippu, He can dribble better than Torres, he's got more pace than Torres, his decision making is quicker than Torres and he's more confident than Torres. He's definitely better than Torres. Not Drogba though, although I'm pretty sure he'll play better than Drogba one day (as long as we give him matches, and he does not get injured).

ucmyway
Think what you like but the fact is that Feruz is a practically a dwarf. A very good Dwarf but no way will he end up being a centre forward. If he develops he could play the Rooney role. I went to the home semi and final of the youth cup and we have some very good kids but people who think that players other than the odd one like Messi can go straight from a youth set up to the first team in this day and age need to get a grip. Piazon is class and Swift and Baker are both neat tidy midfield players. Bamford could be another that might come through as he is a natural finisher.

@ucmyway. I couldn't believe what I was hearing on sky news coming from Torres .Who does he think he is . He has a cheek to use the greatest moment in Chelsea's history to vent his "frustration" at not starting the game and basically slam Chelsea Fc .He's a bloody disgrace as can take a jump for all I care .The cheek of him making me angry on a day like today ! He's more with us in 14 months than he ever dreamed and he still cant resist moaning and groaning when millions of Chelsea supporters are celebrating around the world ! He is one selfish son of a b**ch ....Get rid now i say ......
Sorry Merlin ,very funny article by the way !

Platini was a great player but will be remembered as a slimy little fake. He was probably holding in the tears as he handed those losers medals to his Bum chum Blatters favorite team. As for Torres he was messed around by the Idiot but Robbie gave him game time but with only one up top you have to go for a player who has shown why he was picked by being a huge factor in the win.. I do think though that had he played in Kalou's position last night he would have given us more.
My personal feeling is that he could go back to Athletico in exchange for Falcau. Hope Drogba stays or says to hell with Chinese money and goes back to Marseille where they love him as much as us. Pains me to say this in some ways considering i watched so much of Osgood but Drogba really has been the best Centre forward in my forty years of supporting the club, sometimes drove us to distraction but what a player and what a charector.

Does anyone actually believe a word that comes out of AS Newspaper or guillaum balague. Really come on, there worse than the daily bloody mail. As for he quotes coming out now, of course they have, they want to dampen the celebrations, just ignore them. Roman has supported Torres, I have supported Torres and so have the fans(proper ones anyway). If we signed hulk and hazard, do you think he'd leave.

Zolaisalegend
Understand your frustration but can also understand Torres frustration because he should have started last night he is a better player than Kalou and no worse at defending. No one can accuse him of not trying although it looked like he was refusing to take a penalty last night.