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Counterintuitive insights about building successful relationships- based on research into human-computer interaction.

Books like Predictably Irrational and Sway have revolutionized how we view human behavior. Now, Stanford professor Clifford Nass has discovered a set of rules for effective human relationships, drawn from an unlikely source: his study of our interactions with computers.

Based on his decades of research, Nass demonstrates that-although we might deny it-we treat computers and other devices like people: we empathize with them, argue with them, form bonds with them. We even lie to them to protect their feelings.

This fundamental revelation has led to groundbreaking research on how people should behave with one another. Nass's research shows that:

Mixing criticism and praise is a wildly ineffective method of evaluation

Flattery works-even when the recipient knows it's fake

Introverts and extroverts are each best at selling to one of their own

Nass's discoveries provide nothing less than a new blueprint for successful human relationships.

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Review

"If Dale Carnegie had been a Google engineer, this is how he would have written "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Cliff Nass shows us how much we can learn about people by understanding how people interact with computers." -Chip Heath, coauthor of "Switch" and "Made to Stick" "With the help of real experiments, rather than anecdotes or impressions, Clifford Nass uses people's interactions with computers as a window into social and professional life. The book is filled with insights about an increasingly important part of our lives." -Steven Pinker, Harvard College Professor of Psychology, Harvard University, and author of "How the Mind Works" and "The Stuff of Thought" "With engaging illustrations and compelling evidence, Clifford Nass shows how interactions with our most advanced machines reveal our most primitive workings." -Robert B. Cialdini, author of "Influence: Science and Practice" "Nass and Yen serve up a wealth of practical, h
--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Top customer reviews

The first chapter really drew me in--in fact I immediately recommended this book to a friend...but I was far too hasty.

The book is meant to be objective and scientific, but it makes ridiculous blanket-statement conclusions from some studies that absolutely do not warrant generalization. One of those blanket statements being: "...all emotions boil down to happy versus sad (valence) and excited versus calm (arousal)." The author might benefit from looking into the Facial Action Coding System and research into the face and emotion because this conclusion is laughable.

The overall tone of the book is off putting: the author is, supposedly, scientific and rigorous, yet he's brash and arrogant and comes to sweeping conclusions.

Another small annoyance is that he feels the need to point out where everyone one of his students ended up, which, is distracting and breaks the pace of the narrative.

That being said, I did walk away with a few insights and the first couple of chapters were intellectually stimulating. If you want to enjoy this book, I'd advise you skip the chapter on emotion.

Nass designs many interesting social experiments based on the premise that humans react similarly to machines as they do to other humans, so that machines are at least as suitable experiment confederates as human assistants since their actions are programmed and deterministic. In his own words, "I've uncovered many of these findings through my discovery that people treat computers and other interactive technologies like actual people. Watching people work with computers in social situations lets me strip away complexity and get to the fundamental truth of everyone's interactions."

Although it seems to me like some of experiments could have design flaws or overly simplistic conclusions, the research is relevant and interesting, dealing with a broad array of topics such as how people respond to mindless flattery versus informed compliments, the impact of valence emotions, modesty versus praise, the importance of imitation, interdependence and identification in teams, cognitive reframing, and the rule of reciprocity.

I liked how the book was organized with first the description of the question, then the experiment design, then the results and implications, and then each chapter ending with a summary of key points. Because Nass often works as an consultant to businesses or software design companies, the research and implications were often related to business situations, resulting in advice from perspectives such as the most effective way to deliver negative criticism to coworkers, or how to be viewed as an expert. This book was not technical, assumes no prior knowledge, and appeals to a broad audience. It is more about human-human interaction as revealed through human-computer interaction experiments than it is about computers or technology, except for the underlying assumption that humans at least somewhat treat computers as people.

Clifford Nass is a retiring, well-written Stanford prof. who has spent a career studying the interactions of people with machines (computers, mostly) and advising companies such as Microsoft and Toyota about those interactions.

In a time when the CEO of Microsoft (retired) and owner of the LA Clippers has outlawed Powerpoint presentations, how should we communicate with each other?

Nass claims incredibly, that "The social world is much less complicated than it appears. In fact, interactions between people are governed by simple rules and patterns," and that he shows these simple rules via experiment.

In general, Nass fulfills the above incredible claim, and does it entertainingly. If you manage or deal with creative people this is an excellent, short book (four hours est.) from which to learn.

This book was assigned as a reading for a graduate class in human computer interaction. And I cannot say I was pumped. Until I started reading it and I couldn't put it down. I was so far ahead, I had to re-read for weeks later in the semester and I didn't even mind. It is about HCI and what we can learn about person-to-person interaction based on how humans react to and treat computers – which sounds weird but is actually really interesting and well documented. The book is really worth a read especially if you enjoy things like Freakonomics or anything by Malcolm Gladwell, Oliver Sacks or Michael Lewis.

Excellent. Clear descriptions of the studies, potential application, and - my favorite - reminder themes from each chapter. As Nass said, if a computer can apply these social principles effectively, so can you.

I do not know what to right about this. If you like psychology and enjoy computers you will find this book entertaining. It even explains why people hated Clippy the Word Paperclip that always interrupted you working.