Gentle Weaning 3 yo

03-02-2009, 08:57 AM

My son turned 3 yo in November and mom is about ready to wean. Near his B-day I reduced him to 3x/day, wake, nap and bed. He's done fairly well and sometimes falls asleep without nursing (which he rarely did before), however, when mom says no it can sometimes result in a whining child and crying (often not genuine) and I don't think this conflict is good for us. I'd like to hear how other mom's gently weaned there 3+ nurslings.

Comment

I would use NVC, adknowledging his needs but telling him that that your needs are not being met.

crying (often not genuine)

His physical crying act may not be genuine in a sense but the emotion behind it is genuine. He will be sad because he is not ready. You may not be able to convince him to happily stop something he enjoys, but you may be able to reason with him to make it hurt less. Its great that you have nursed this long and I totally understand that you are ready to end your breastfeeding relationship! It may be unrealistic to expect him to wean without emotion, but that dosn't mean you cannot do it. Good Luck!

Kellymom has some weaning stuff with the general distraction, spot weaning, don't offer don't refuse techniques.Weaning: How does it happen? la Leche League is pretty much child-led weaning based but they have a good book called How Weaning Happens I think. You have already limited to a few nursings a day, just start taking a way one more every week or so....He will be upset so offer alternative cuddings, special time.

Comment

It sounds like you are really making an effort to respond in a loving and sensitive way. The only suggestion I have, based on the example you used in your post of watching TV, is to look at what you're asking your son to do and whether it's really that necessary. I would feel frustrated if someone told me it was time to stop watching TV, and a 3-year-old has less control over his emotions than I do.

I've found that, for me, discipline goes back to really looking at why I'm doing the things I do, and questioning those reasons I was given as a child. A big part of it has been relinquishing any notion that my role is to control my child's behavior.

I wish you the best. I love that we are able to grow along with our children - I'm never sure who's growing more, me or my daughter.
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