Sunday, November 30, 2014

Can you believe it that a ‘White’ police officer is allowed to hug a ‘Black’ kid who is carrying a ‘free hugs’ sign? The story
behind this viral picture is that a young kid was in tears because of his fear
that violence seems to always arise between ‘White’ police officers and ‘Black’
men or teens. This police officer actually asks the young boy for permission to
hug him. Little did this officer or the boy know that their pictures would be
all over the Internet and the news that night?

If there is an image that could bring hope from the last
week in Ferguson it’s this picture of this larger than life police officer
giving a real hug to this young man! I know that most will forget too soon
about the hundreds that protested in a peaceful fashion and what remains will be
the stores that were looted or burned to the ground by a small group of real
thugs. Now is time for there to be the opportunity to dialogue about what
happened and why. It is so easy to always put the blame for situations like
this on racism or what I have called the youth disconnect. Instead, what would
happen if we were quicker to be like this young boy with a sign that wants to
do something positive instead of screaming something out that insights a riot
in an already torn down community!

The path to racial reconciliation begins when you consider
how you make friends with someone of a different racial background. It’s all
too easy to allow perceived differences to push you to being prejudiced against
a stranger or make an assumption that someone is bad because they are wearing a
hoodie or have tats. Just as the
surprise when a ‘White’ guy or couple go into a neighborhood of color and enjoy
eating at a local restaurant.

I will be the first to confess that as a community worker my
initial assumption was that I’ve got my work cut out for me as I ‘fix’ these
kids and teens that come out of generational poverty. Yet, the reality for many
others and me is that we learn just as much about life from our neighborhood
kids and teens as they do from us. Just as racism works both ways so does
reconciliation! As I choose to listen and learn from my friends of color so
they too see that our race can’t totally define who we are.

I too tire of the violence that too easily erupts over what
seem to be senseless choices. How often have teens or young adults done ‘beer
runs’ where the local merchant now has a gun and shoots the thief as they run
outside the store. The complex issue of police actions in difficult
circumstances will continue to be a problem where young and old push the limits
of morality!

I would hope the memory of thanksgiving 2014 would be of a
young boy with a free hugs’ sign! The work to restore a torn community and the
families that have been devastated by the Michael Brown incident will continue.
We pray for real reconciliation and forgiveness on all sides!

Thursday, November 27, 2014

I know that in the heat of the moment common sense never
prevails. Too often I have to pull my foot out of my mouth after I’ve said
something that I know just shouldn’t have come out. The reality is that sticks
and stones do hurt and kill but so do my words. This last week a grand jury of
12 peers made a decision, which the public has become the jury, as to whether
or not Officer Wilson killed or murdered Michael Brown on August 9th.After having watched the aftermath of both
peaceful protesting and the unfortunate choice of some to turn Ferguson into a
war zone it’s time to admit our part in this tragedy.

I lost my mom to breast cancer after a 10 year battle and
more recently my dad succumbed to a disease that robs a person of their memory
and their ability to eat, swallow and breath normally. I personally understand
the hurt, anger and frustration of losing a loved one who shouldn’t have died.
Yet, the facts reveal that we all have a role in the outcome of life’s events.
The old saying that we are either part of the problem or part of the solution
must be heard! We can’t stand on the sidelines of life’s journey and watch evil
triumph over good.

Yes, I believe that everyone, myself included, has some onus
for the murder of the Michael Browns out there. It is so easy to walk away from
circumstances that we might not have created directly. Yet, our choice not to
act or do something to address our societal blindness to the ‘youth disconnect’
is criminal! Someone who has been raised around violence and hate too often sees
no other form of expression but to respond with disrespect and violence or as
in my neighborhood revenge becomes the ultimate expression of winning.

The cry of a stepfather this last week pushed a frenzied mob
to start fires and destroy police vehicles. The anger and rage of the step-dad
was understandable but his choice to express himself in this fashion didn’t
honor the memory of his stepson or help with the racial turmoil in his city.
It’s time for adults to act like adults and show common sense, moral integrity
and compassion in tough situations. It’s too easy to allow emotions and a mob
mentality to rule our actions, which ultimately do more harm and damage then
the incident that has pushed us over the edge.

I work with at risk youth and often struggle with the
quickness of too many teens to disrespect authority, parents and elders because
there is this misunderstanding gap that supposedly exists. I too was a
rebellious teen in the 60’s and can remember truly believing that I couldn’t
trust anyone over 20 and that all authority figures were clueless and inheritably
evil. Now that I’m old I can honestly look back and admit that I should have
listened to my parents and older friends more. I was fortunate to have a scout
leader that pushed me to excel and stay on the right path.

The opportunity before us is to step back and instead of
automatically judging all youth as being delinquents and evil remember your
story and what it took for your life to be turned in the right direction. What
was it that inspired you to follow through with your life journey and not quit
or use your emotions to purposely hurt someone else? I honestly believe if the
Michael Browns of this world had mentors, big brothers or a tio that invested
in him we would see less of the youth disconnect and more of a movement to pay
it forward instead of assuming that the world owes me everything.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

I want to thank the many who have responded to my post and that
have pushed me to truly consider the heart of the matter.Is this all about race, religion, education,
social status, culture or content of a person’s character? My parents were both
born and raised in St. Louis, Missouri. I have never lived in the city but as a
kid visited every year for at least a couple of weeks. As an adult I have
visited with a very different intent from seeing relatives but more so to
understand racism first hand by connecting with multi-racial churches and
community development non-profits who have a passion to bring racial reconciliation
to the forefront.

The collateral damage from this incident in August is
overwhelming! I can’t fathom what has to go into a person’s brain to think that
it’s ok to destroy small businesses in this already torn community. I don’t
understand how the police and National Guard can watch a mob torch a building
or turn over a police car before blowing it up! I totally respect those who are
out voicing their rights to express their views, in a non-violent fashion, about
what took place with the grand jury and the unfortunate death of a teen.

Yet, the real question I believe that has to be addressed is
what caused this incident to happen that day in August? Did this totally boil
down to a race issue between a ‘Black Teen’ and a ‘White Police Officer’? I’m
drawn back to a quote that one of the responders to my post mentioned about
judging a person not by the color of their skin, religion or education but by
the content of their character. (Thanks Martin Luther King for this amazing
statement!) I agree with another response to my post that choosing to take a deep
breath and step back might have stopped this whole incident from occurring. So
instead of a dead teen, a ruined city and a police officer in fear of his life
there might have been a display of racial reconciliation pursued.

As a kid growing up with parents that could have been racist
and biased I was taught to respect others regardless of their background, race,
education or personal choices. This was very different from my other relatives
who expressed real prejudice, which always pushed my dad’s button. The obvious
question has to be raised for this teen and police officer involved in this
tragedy. What type of person that has real character that would reflect what
was preached about on Sunday in church or spoken about as a family would attack
a police officer regardless of his or her skin color? Is it ever lawful for a
police officer to protect him or herself in a situation where their life is in
real danger? Clearly these questions are not easily answered.

It is very difficult to understand another person’s life
circumstances without listening, observing and interacting. That day in August
didn’t provide any opportunity for a police officer to see into the head and
heart of a teen that seemed to be struggling with making good life choices. A
person’s actions don’t always reveal their heart but clearly when someone
threatens another person’s life you are left with few choices, protect
yourself, flee or get help. The what if game, as I mentioned in my last post,
doesn’t necessarily bring a teen back from the grave or put back together a
city that has been ravaged by violence. Maybe it can help stop future incidents
like this from happening as we consider how our action or inaction might
determine the future of another human being or a small town.

Hopefully the need for ongoing dialogue about racial
reconciliation will continue and that we will be honest enough to express our
fears and concerns but still pursue a path that will bring peace and healing
for all parties involved.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

As a kid growing up I was taught not to ever play the ‘what
if game’. So this morning after waiting to hear the verdict last night that the
world was impatiently seeking, I want to think for a few moments about the ‘what
if’s’ of that day in August. I have lived most of my life around people with
color and have chosen over the last decade to work in a neighborhood where I’m
the minority. So my reactions to many friends who have already posted and
talked about injustice I hope will listen first before shutting down to a plea
for seeking the truth and not assuming that racism is always at the bottom of
everything.

What if that morning a teen and a friend had decided to go
to church that day and be mentored by a neighborhood leader instead of just
chilling and hanging? What if these teens had been a different color or in
lived in a different neighborhood? What if they had chosen to actually purchase
those little cigars instead of ripping them off? What if they had chosen to walk
on the sidewalk and not challenge a policeman? What if they had decided to
respect authority and just walk away from a policeman regardless of how they
perceived him? What if this teen had been a midget instead of what would seem
like a giant to most?

I know that the reality is that there is a family and
community that will mourn the tragic death of a teen who was bound for college.
I know that we live in a society where racism continues to dominate the media,
our churches and the small businesses that are attempting to survive in
Ferguson. I also am ashamed of the fact that many regardless of color or
religious background had already decided the fate of the Officer in question
before hearing the real evidence in the case.

What if a policeman had chosen not to respond to a reported
shoplifting incident after aiding a mom with a baby in distress that day? What
if this officer in question had allowed the teen that appeared to be bigger
than life and aggressive to actually take his weapon without a struggle? If
this had been an officer killed on duty story would it be any better or
different?

There are many victims from this unfortunate tragedy in
August. The villains are those who have chosen to lute, steal, destroy and
fabricate stories that are far from the truth. I don’t understand what it would
be like to lose a son or have a brother who is now unable to find a job and
lives in total fear. I would hope that it would be possible to dialogue about
what really happened that day in August, yet the many different sides to this
incident seem unable to make concessions and see there is more to this than
meets the eye.

Yes, the ‘what if game’ doesn’t bring back a son or restore
someone’s career! My hope is that all of
us can be quicker to see our part in causing incidents like this because of our
own biases and prejudices that impact the world around us. I don’t believe
anyone can walk away from this tragedy with impunity as one person expressed
themselves. This only reflects on how desperate our society is in need of
addressing racial and spiritual reconciliation for there to be the potential of
redemption on the part of all racial groups.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

I personally fight the myth that being busy is the key to a
successful life. I have grown up around a culture that clearly states that only
those that are driven, that know how to plan, execute and make it happen will
survive in today’s world. Yet, as I get older and am around more seniors and
kids I realize that this is one of the biggest lies in life. Yes, I can brag
about multi-tasking, yet what suffers from this are my relationships with those
that matter the most in my life, my family and close friends.

There are no short cuts to forming quality relationships! It
takes time no matter how you slice or dice it. I can’t become a good friend
with someone until I have invested real time, not texting, nor Facebook or even
LinkedIn. So this last week I had fun picking up all of the painting supplies
from the various grandma and grandpa’s homes that we had painted a week ago.
What struck me shouldn’t be a surprise, is that everyone obviously was thrilled
to have a face lift on their house but what mattered the most was the 30 people
who had painted their houses had taken the time to come and make a difference.
I was blessed and reminded that I have to slow down and actually listen to gain
a person’s trust and confidence.

This last week I was invited to a small graduation ceremony
that again reminded me of the importance over time of being a real friend to
those that God has placed on my path. The fruit of these types of relationships
is that you end up being invited to family dinners or special occasions that
few others can attend. We walked away from a special dinner for this older
teen’s graduation party that made us feel rather special and appreciated. Yet,
this wouldn’t have happened if I had chosen to rush around over the years and
not gotten to know this teen’s mom and dad.

We walk our dogs pretty much every day both in the early
morning and later in the evening after our day is done. My wife is a stickler
for always looking up and seeing the incredible sunrise, sunset, moon or stars
while we are walking with our herd of dogs. It is so easy to miss out even when
something is literally in front of your face. I love the sense of togetherness
and family that come out of routines like this. It would be so easy to allow
the commotion of the day to rob us of these special quiet times.

I confess that I do prefer getting my work done in an
organized fashion that doesn’t waste time. It’s so true that as my mom would
remind me that anything worth doing is worth doing well! Her point would be
that rushing to finish anything ultimately means that you won’t do your best.
My Anne can be so crazy at times. This last week it was obvious that one of our
large carpets that is in our family room area reeked of doggy mess. She’s so
good about going the extra mile to make things right. After shampooing it
multiple times she came to the conclusion that it needed to be hauled outside
and literally sprayed off with the hose after being saturated with special pet
product.

The byproduct of her choice not to rush and say something is
good when it’s not is that the obvious odor, not perfume, is gone! The choice
we all have to make everyday is whether we are going to rush off from that
potential friendship or take an extra few minutes to listen and not talk? The real
tension is whether I’m willing to invest the time to see that I do my best all
of the time and not just enough to check this task off my list?

I so much applaud C.S. Lewis, one of my favorite authors,
for his willingness to be honest about his own life in saying, “I don’t believe
that good work is ever done in a hurry.”

About Me

I am a 60 something Christ follower/Jesus Freak who has a passion for seeing my neighborhoods in South Phoenix transformed by the Gospel. I love my wife, Anne, as one who has put up with me and shares the same passion for Jesus. We enjoy taking our dogs for walks on the canal every day, running, overseeing my assortment of ponds and fish tanks, reading my Bible and bugging my kids.