This agreement acknowledges
that the forthcoming marriage is a legal arrangement that accepts the perpetual
continuity of a pre-existing relationship between two parties and that a three-way
coexistence shall be created consisting of the following participating parties:
Spouse A (the loving, non-bicycle rider), hereafter referred to as SA; Spouse
B (the loving, bicycle rider), hereafter referred to as SB; and The Bike (the
all-beautiful, glorious one), hereafter referred to as TB.

Condition I
Acknowledgement: SA shall henceforth recognize that SB and TB have forged a
long-standing relationship and unbreakable bond. Efforts or attempts to alienate,
separate, or to divide permanently or temporarily, regardless of circumstances,
shall never occur.

Condition II
Cohabitation: SA and SB shall agree upon comfortable and equal living quarters
for TB, its related service equipment and riding gear. TB shall only be exposed
to the elements of Nature during outdoor rides. All other times, TB shall have
access to warm, dry, low traffic living space with complete protection from
any and all physical harm. If at any time there is a conflict with SA, SB, furniture
or other objects, TB shall have absolute precedence of its desired stationary
location. In the event SA is absent overnight or longer, TB shall be permitted
bedroom space (if not already arranged).

Condition III
Exclusivity and Infidelity: At no time shall TB be ridden by anyone other than
the parties of this agreement, without the sole permission of SB. SA must request
permission from SB to ride or attempt physical contact with TB and shall only
do so in the presence of SB.

Condition IV
Equal time: SA shall be guaranteed equal, quality time with SB, equivalent to
time spent with TB unless it conflicts with TB; in which case TB has absolute
preference. Evening hours of darkness, rain or any weather conditions which
may be considered undesirable by non-bikers, does not offer SA preferential
status if SA and TB view these moments to train for these possible weather conditions.
Maintenance-service time shall be as determined by SB and shall not be interfered
with by SA or others, without approval of SB. In the event of an emergency (i.e.,
SA needs assistance; child sets hair on fire, etc.) SB shall complete any or
all TB related activities as soon as possible and, then and only then shall
SB be expected to address said emergency. In the event of distress, a visit
by In-laws, need of stress relief or other moments of depression, SB shall be
permitted as much time with TB (or TB related activities), magazines, books,
events, etc. as necessary for SB to return his/her emotional status to an uplifting
and happy mode.

Condition V
Parties SA and SB shall agree that SB will be permitted and encouraged to purchase
any and all TB related equipment at any and all times, whether the aforementioned
be repairs, replacements, upgrades or just cosmetic. Any replacement parts shall
be considered cherished spares and provided adequate, preferential storage space
equivalent to conditions set to TB; preferably under the bed, favorite closet
or placed on the coffee table for a conversation item. Coffee table books, such
as but not limited to, the biographies of Greg Lemond, Eddy Merckx, Fausto Coppi,
or any history of the Tour de France, shall retain prominent placement on said
table; free from possible damage related to the displayed replacement part.

Newly installed items on
TB shall immediately require TB to be prominently placed on display as the focal
point of the household (i.e., in front of the television). Newly purchased items,
which have not been installed, shall be openly displayed as a centerpiece, to
be seen and envied by all visitors. Said item shall be allowed to be placed
under SB's pillow during the sleeping hours unless it is potentially harmful
to said item.

This provision shall be
enforced until the installation is complete. Mental, physical or marital interventions
shall not be exercised to install the item until SB is ready to perform this
action. Only SB shall be the deciding party in this determination and there
shall be no compromise.

Condition VI
Finances: All household finances shall be considered separate from TB finances.
If Conflicts should arise, TB gets preference.

Condition VII
Disposition: In the event SA has a compatible bicycle, SB can offer spare parts
to be temporarily installed for use by SA, until such time when SB requires
their use on TB. Advance notice of this return is not required. All equipment
of and for the use of TB by SB shall remain the sole property of SB come Hell
or high water and shall not be relinquished under any circumstances, Courts
of Law, moments of contesting spousal madness and death of SB. In the event
of the death of SB, SA will be obligated to complete the upgrades
(expressed, implied or dreamed of) and bury the bicycle with the departed. Should
SB have previously requested a separate grave for TB, SB and TB will be buried
side-by-side in separate caskets, in a common, doublewide grave. A common headstone
shall be placed centrally at the head of the grave and the complete identification
of TB's frame, components, wheels and tyres shall be engraved on the head stone.
Tyres shall be inflated to full-recommended psi ratings prior to placing in
the casket. In the event of the later death of SA, burial of SA shall be adjacent
to SB, not TB.

Condition VIII
Protected Communications: All TB related communications intended for SB, be
they voice (telephone messages, visitors, etc.); print (mail-order catalogues,
product mailings, etc.) or electronic (email, voice-mail, buddies calling to
ride, etc.), shall be promptly expedited to SB. Furthermore, no censorship of
said communications shall ever occur and SA agrees to refrain from making disparaging
comments about the content of these communications and/or their source(s). Improper
language (i.e., cursing) is prohibited in the household and outdoors in the
presence of TB; this is especially important if the curse words are of Italian
origin. Italian is never to be spoken unless the speaker is fluent; however
if the components are Shimano, then English is the preferred language of communication
and Italian is forbidden to be spoken.

Extended Conditions: TB
shall never be subjected to be the focus or object of a disagreement, or be
introduced as part of said disagreement. Conversations relating to TB shall
always be of praise and admiration; visitors, including in-laws, who are not
in agreement with this condition, are banished from the household of SB, TB
and SA forever until they come to their senses.

All of the above conditions,
in whole or part, are forever to be considered ironclad, irrevocable and nonnegotiable.
Signed
Party SA_____________________________
Party SB_____________________________
Date:________/_________/_________