He’s on a fullride scholorship for golf, joining a fraturnity, and has 5 inch insteams on his shorts? Let the freshmeat begin.–Florida

And what’s your scholarship for? Winning a spelling bee?

Kitchen. TSM-Mississippi

I really hope you’re pretty.

If jizz came out sparkly, I would be on an all jizz diet. TSM.–Florida

The problem with sparkly jizz is that it’s mostly sugar.

Handing down old letters to your little because you gained the sophomore 15 cuz your boyfriend is SUCH A TOTAL JERK! TSM.-Pennsylvania

Eat until you can’t feel pain… that’ll show him.

I am “the other woman.” TSM.–Virginia

Congrats. Everyone hates you.

I haven’t wanted Tiffany’s since I was five. Harry Winston is forever! TSM
Boys may give Tiffany’s on the playground, but men give Winston. TSM
Hate to break it to you, but he’s no fratdaddy if he’s giving you Tiffany’s. TSM
Want to know how I know you’re just his slampiece? He’s giving you Tiffany’s, and not Winston. TSM
Never trying too hard. TSM.–Tennessee