-Mandatory crafting system because everyone else is doing it
-Zombies that bug out. There’s a pun here about actual living bugs, but we’re not going to bother
-You can craft anything in the world, as long as it’s one of the half dozen weapons in the game
-Zombies, because this is a zombie game, remember?
-A pretty big new map with some stuff in it
-Completely realistic survival mode where you have to eat every damn five minutes to survive because Dean Hall & Garry Newman said so
Tons of unlockable new goats with special powers (wow, never thought I’d ever write that sentence a couple of years ago. Also hi mom)

The DLC will go live sometime around morning Pacific time on May 7th and will cost $4.99.

New DLC Available

About This Game

Goat Simulator is the latest in goat simulation technology, bringing next-gen goat simulation to YOU. You no longer have to fantasize about being a goat, your dreams have finally come true! WASD to write history.

Gameplay-wise, Goat Simulator is all about causing as much destruction as you possibly can as a goat. It has been compared to an old-school skating game, except instead of being a skater, you're a goat, and instead of doing tricks, you wreck stuff. Destroy things with style, such as doing a backflip while headbutting a bucket through a window, and you'll earn even more points! Or you could just give Steam Workshop a spin and create your own goats, levels, missions, and more! When it comes to goats, not even the sky is the limit, as you can probably just bug through it and crash the game.

Disclaimer

Goat Simulator is a completely stupid game and, to be honest, you should probably spend your money on something else, such as a hula hoop, a pile of bricks, or maybe pool your money together with your friends and buy a real goat.

Key Features

You can be a goat

Get points for wrecking stuff - brag to your friends that you're the alpha goat

Steam Workshop support - make your own goats, levels, missions, game modes, and more!

MILLIONS OF BUGS! We're only eliminating the crash-bugs, everything else is hilarious and we're keeping it

In-game physics that bug out all the time

Seriously look at that goat's neck

You can be a goat

Mac and Linux Disclaimer

The Mac and Linux ports are still in Beta. Expect problems. We're working on fixing them asap!

So I was deciding whether to do a serious review on Goat Simulator because I haven't seen one on Steam; so rather than join the bandwagon of unfunny jokey reviews for the game, I'll stick to my guns...

Goat Simulator does exactly what it says on the tin; you play as a Goat, You cause havoc wherever you go; trashing, bashing, causing explosions, destroying houses, jumping on trampolines, basically anything you want. With plenty of interactive objects in the game, you can spend plenty of time wandering around never finding a dull moment.

The graphics in goat simulator are really nice. They aren't on the levels of Evolve or something, but for this type of game, you aren't really going to be playing for the top of the range graphics. The music and audio are exactly what you would expect here; derpy music in the background as you potter about the city, along with cries of fear from the civilians as the demon goat runs rampant.

There are three different areas in Goat Simulator; each zone is huge, ranging from theme parks, to crop fields, every building has something to do in it, every room has something to interact with or destroy. I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with either of the levels included here. There is nothing difficult in the game to do here at all. There are no real objectives, just an open world sandbox game where you do whatever you want, whenever you want.

I have managed to put about twenty hours into Goat Simulator; most of this time was playing on local screen co-op with my girlfriend, and then a couple more hours’ achievement hunting, and boy there is some pretty ridiculous achievements to do. Other than the developers openly coming out stating that they would not be fixing any bugs in the game, I had no real game breaking bugs, apart from sometimes falling through the world; however this was fixed easily by just respawning again.

If you want a game that is just purely for messing around in with no real aim and wanting some real stupidity, then Goat Simulator will give you plenty of fun; granted this type of game is not for everyone, I enjoyed it though.

Skipping along as a goat like a bossSees a friendly looking group of people having a partyOne of them is barbecuing somethingHe says "I used to be a goat."To show my appreciation for his kind, I give him a friendly lickHe screams and falls face first into his grill and diesHis friends run over and begin dancing around his flaming corpse

Let me get this straight, you want me to tell you a review about this game? Whoever you are, you might as well go to the curators, because if you've come for a review on this game, you've come to the wrong place. However, if you have come for an outstanding chocolate chip cookie recipe, you've come to the right place.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ingredients1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar3/4 cup sugar2 large eggs1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract1 (12-ounce) bag semisweet chocolate chips, or chunks2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour3/4 teaspoon baking soda1 teaspoon fine salt

Directions1. Evenly position 2 racks in the middle of the oven and preheat to 375 degrees F. (on convection setting if you have it.) Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone sheets. (If you only have 1 baking sheet, let it cool completely between batches.)

2. Put the butter in a microwave safe bowl, cover and microwave on medium power until melted. (Alternatively melt in a small saucepan.) Cool slightly. Whisk the sugars, eggs, butter and vanilla in a large bowl until smooth.

3. Whisk the flour, baking soda and salt in another bowl. Stir the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients with a wooden spoon; take care not to over mix. Stir in the chocolate chips or chunks.

4. Scoop heaping tablespoons of the dough onto the prepared pans. Wet hands slightly and roll the dough into balls. Space the cookies about 2-inches apart on the pans. Bake, until golden, but still soft in the center, 12 to 16 minutes, depending on how chewy or crunchy you like your cookies. Transfer hot cookies with a spatula to a rack to cool. Serve.

5. Store cookies in a tightly sealed container for up to 5 days.

For a Rocky Road Bar:1. Lightly butter a 9 by 13-inch baking pan. Make the batter as per cookie recipe and fold in 1 cup chopped walnuts along with the chocolate chips. Spread batter in prepared pan. Bake until the edges are light brown and the batter sets, about 45 minutes. Cool slightly and cover surface with 4 cups marshmallows and 1 cup chocolate chips. Broil at least 8 inches from the heat until marshmallows turn golden brown, about 2 minutes. (Keep an eye on the marshmallows, and turn the pan frequently--they go from golden to char in a wink.) Cool, cut and serve.

I am updating this review every time the game is updated. This review is going to look at the game in stages rather than as a whole. As that is pretty much how I have played it.

First Impressions: The Original Review GoatVille

Gaming just GOAT serious!If this game doesn’t get GO(a)TY, then you just GOAT to be kidding me…I mean, if it doesn’t float your GOAT, then that’s fine. But seriously, this GOAT is just too GOAT.

...But in all seriousness, it’s the one of the most original and fun games that I have played in a while. It’s got a good humour to it. You can tell the people that made it were just having a laugh and it seems to me they didn’t expect it to get as big as it did. I think it was pretty refreshing when it came out, something different and stupid to mess around on. Has quirky little things in the game that makes you chuckle and I have never known ragdolls to fail at making people laugh.

The fact that it has Steam workshop makes it a lot more appealing also, the game itself can be completed 100% within a day or two. But at least with the workshop you have something to keep you entertained if you ever wanted to re-visit. Despite its length I still really enjoyed it and look forward to any updates that may come to this game. There’s many more possibilities with maps and different goats, so who knows!

All in all you just have to get this game and give it a fair goat.

UPDATE 1: New Map!Goat City Bay

They updated the game to have another map and twice the achievements. Essentially free DLC, which I thought was actually a really nice addition to the game. It gives you more play time and new features to mess around with. It also shows the developers are in this more so for the long run than a quick cash builder because it blew up. I would easily say the update doubled the game, I completed the updated achievements 100% again although there were a few trickier ones this time around. I really hope they keep them updates coming!

UPDATE 2: An Interesting TurnGoat MMO Simulator

This update was a pretty big one! They took a whole new turn with it as well. Goat MMO Simulator was a great idea. It was a nice way to keep the game’s silly yet quirky charm going. Something new and different and it really was fun. I would say that I found this update easier to 100% then Goat City Bay but that makes it no less enjoyable. There were a few references I was pleasantly surprised/amused by. This ‘free extra content’ thing Coffee Stain Studios have going on here is great. Again, I would love to see more in future!

UPDATE 3: Another Genre Mockery!GoatZ

I was very surprised this time around that the new update wasn’t free. There was a slight bit of disappointment there but when I actually stopped to think about it, the devs have already expanded the game so much for free. I don’t blame them for asking for a small bit of money this time.

This new DLC is an obvious mockery to the survival horror genre that’s just all over the damn place these days. It’s a funny concept and follows the MMO joke nicely.

Although I was pretty content and hadn’t much to say about the previous updates, there were a few things with GoatZ I felt I needed to mention.

Throughout this whole game I have 100%ed it all the way. In survival mode of GoatZ, this probably would have been impossible if not for the workshop mod to stop your hunger. Your goat is hungry every 2 minutes and you’re so busy just looking for food to survive that it’s pretty impossible to do anything else (you can play the map in “Before Breakout” and “After Breakout” mode, so before is an option). I just thought the hunger was a little excessive even though it’s an obvious joke within itself and there are still a number of things you actually need to do in survival mode if you’re looking to complete it.

Using the “No Hunger” workshop mod I managed to re-100% the game. Although there were some very very tedious achievements this time around. Which were made a lot worse by how many times the game crashed whilst I was playing. “Craft every item in one game” – get to the last one, then it crashes. I wasn’t a happy bunny, that’s for sure. Looking back on it now, everything else seemed pretty straight forward. But none the less the whole thing still just felt tedious as hell.

The references and humour has kept up throughout the whole thing and it’s always nice to see funny little references that I understand. It’s always nice to see more from these devs to be honest!

I would say overall the DLC is worth it despite all the things I moaned about. It’s still fun to mess around with in a none-serious fashion. Just prepare for a storm of frustrated sighing if you are wanting to 100% it.