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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

Preamble

IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

Introduction

WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

Manifesto Demands

THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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Bengals Heroes

January 02, 2012

Skimming Hob's articles last night looking for fodder and I came across this little bit.

Whitworth pulled Peko aside in the locker room when word filtered through that the Chiefs had lost.

“I told him how proud I was,” Whitworth said. “We started this thing back in June putting OTAs together ourselves. It’s been a long journey with all the crap we had to get their attention off of. Who was leaving? Who was coming? Who’s not staying with us and all that. To be where we are, who would have believed it? We’ve got our future in front of us.”

Congrats guys. You two do have a lot to be proud of, and we commend you both on your efforts. We at WDR respect everything you did leading up to this season and have to deal with on a regular basis, primarily your hopeless boss.

It is very easy to overlook the hard work and effort the players make to try to change the culture at Paul Brown Stadium. Over the years, we have come to experience their attempts as being futile. In the end, Mike Brown always finds a way to ruin a good thing. Regardless of the obstacles, you both managed to take a team that appeared to be imploding before the season officially began and helped mold it into something that has a foundation for potential success in the coming years.

Our new year's wish is that your boss in the coming offseason does not screw up what you have begun. We hope that you get the opportunity to build upon what you started so that the two of you and we, the fans, have a chance to experience something - together - that this town has been deprived of for way too long: a championship team.

October 07, 2011

Who do the bengals play this weekend I really have no idea I have totally checked out. Oh the jags I totally don't know how I missed that.

Carlos Dunlap is my favorite defensive player to watch since Tovar and somebody we can only hope MB lucks into locking up for a little while longer than his rookie contact. Dunlap gets consistent pressure and is somebody o-lines have to scheme for already. He looks like the type of d-line anchor you want to build around. The guy the bengals never have who makes everybody else around them better while still being able to get his own. I know people thought Geathers was this after his double digit sack season that we have never seen again but Dunlap just seem more consistent already if that makes any sense.

I still expect 2-3 after this weekend. I've just watched to many times where we've always always always let flukey rookie qb's beat us through the years. I guess we'll see if this defense is any different. Either way the fighting who dey's lost to Alex Smith two week ago so nothing would surpise me at this point.

July 28, 2011

Throughout the lost decade of the 90s I knew many a fan that maintained the Bengals' losing ways were the result of the Curse of Paul Brown. The prevailing thought at the opening of Paul Brown stadium was that by naming the stadium after Paul the curse would be removed and the Bengals would once again return to the playoffs. Well, as we know, that didn't exactly work out that way, and the only curse Paul placed on the franchise was by having his son run it.

That's the last time I put much thought into the Bengals being cursed by some other-worldly power until earlier this year. The picture you see at the right is the 2007 Kings of the Cincinnati Gridiron bobble head set from Burger King. Careful examination of said set will reveal that in every season since the introduction of this set a player whose bobble-headed likeness is featured found employment with another team. After 2008 Housh departed for Seattle via free agency. After 2009 the Bengals said adieu to Graham and his playoff choking. With Ocho's reported departure for New England to unite with his BFF Bill Belichick and Carson's reunion with his couch (at least until 2012) the curse is now complete.

So, in addition to clogging the arteries of the Bengals fans that chomped down on 5 whoppers to procure it, this seemingly harmless collectible has also proven prophetic in eliminating the stars of the Bengals franchise. Burger King, I beseech you, can we please get a set with Mike Brown, Pete Brown, Katie & Troy Blackburn this year?

August 31, 2010

I wish I had time to get to this yesterday but was busy scrambling after the weekend. While ultimately I can find comedy and a silver-lining with the high profile Antonio Bryant disaster, I can find nothing of the sort with the Bengals decision to let go of Rashad Jeanty. Similar to how the Bengals buried the decision to bring the hugely unpopular Brat back in an article about the extension of the hugely popular Mike Zimmer, the Bengals slipped the release of Jeanty into a casual "Update" mostly about the cutting of Bryant. I first saw the news via Joe Reedy who also appeared surprised and rightly described the move as "a shocker".

The Bengals did this, I would imagine, because both moves sucked and they wanted to avoid the attention.

Well, Jeanty's agent seems determined to make sure that never happens. He came out blazing, publicly criticizing the Bengals for mishandling Jeanty's injury and creating this predicament in the first place. Good for him. For those counting, that's yet another instance of questionable medical judgment by the Bengals staff, and the second in as many days. But we'll come back to that issue another time.

Instead, I'd prefer to simply note that this is all very shitty. Because Jeanty a) is a raging bad ass, b) provides critical depth at linebacker, c) provides stability in the locker room and d) is just the type of guy the Bengals should reward, not punish. I enjoyed Cnati.com while it existed and perhaps my favorite piece they ever produced was this profile of Rashad Jeanty. I throw out lots of links. Make sure you read it. Here it is again. Just in case. Some quotes:

"He probably has the highest pain tolerance of anyone in the world," said fellow linebacker Keith Rivers.

(on missing 2nd half a game after broken bone pierced out through the skin) "It's hard to let your teammates down. I feel bad, I've got to be down to not play," Jeanty said. "It's how I feel, I have to play for my teammates. To hell with me, it's for my teammates. I take pride in that, I'm sensitive about my teammates."

Despite starting 15 games for the Bengals at Sam linebacker in 2008, he was pushed from starter to backup when the team selected Rey Maualuga in the second round of the draft. Despite playing the same position, Jeanty has served as a mentor to Maualuga.

I could keep going but I'll stop there. Literally every sentence in the article reinforces what a remarkably tough, selfless, and dedicated teammate Jeanty was. So to see it end abrubtly and potentially due to the Bengals own ineptitude fucking pisses me off. And just when I thought I couldn't get more pissed off, I read Rob Weintraub's twitter feed and saw yet another take:

Strange that Mike Brown--Mr. Open Arms for erratic knuckleheads--would chuck a good soldier like Rashad so cavalierly.

(nodding head in agreement)

Anyway, as Mr Weintraub goes onto note, forget the Bryant thing, this release is the one that is truly awful. Was Jeanty a super critical piece necessary for a playoff run, well, hopefully not. But who knows? And more importantly, who cares? Even if Jeanty ultimately was expendable, the circumstances of his release reflects horribly on the Bengals. Welcome to Bengals fandom, where even during an offseason of promise and excitement, Mike Brown still seems to find a way to taint it.

I hope Jeanty lands on a team where he will be appreciated. He deserves better than the jokers who run the Bengals.

August 04, 2010

(I stopped writing on this blog sometime during the 2008 season as I needed a break from my abusive relationship as a lifelong Bengals fan. Most of my previous writing was about Jeff Query, Tremain Mack, and others from the loveable cast of losers the Bengals assembled during the 1990s.)

As a Bengal fan I have always wanted to go into a season that was filled with so many amazing possibilities for entertainment value. At this point, as we near the end of the endless desert without football, all I can think of is Maximus screaming, “Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?” And yes this is why I am finally here. I can think of a couple different ways this can play out....

December 08, 2009

It has been a while since we last met but I can remember the day as if it was just hours ago. You were staring across the line of scrimmage, scanning the secondary for weaknesses. I was hurtling full speed across the field like a white Fulcher, ready to wrest the day from your weak old man hands.

May 18, 2009

Michael Silver from yahoo talked to Carson about the Bengals and his arm last week and I really like what the real Cincinnati redeemer said.

“We’re gonna be really good, I guarantee it,” Palmer said during a recent phone conversation. There was a long silence before he continued:

“We’ve got a great thing going this offseason. We’ve got such a good locker room. There’s so much more competitiveness this year. I really think we’re gonna surprise people.

“They’ll be saying, ‘Wow, the Bengals are 6-0 … Wow, the Bengals are 10-2. Where did this come from?’ We’re set up perfectly. We’re kind of under the radar. We have no prime-time games. There’s absolutely no hype. And for a young team trying to find itself, that’s perfect.”

That's a money quote kids. Now I am definitely not the most optimistic Bengals fan out there, but to hear the leader and most important player on your team display that type of confidence is sweet music.

Most importantly this is what he said about his arm.

According to Palmer, surgery “was the best decision I never made. My arm’s 100 percent. I’ve been throwing and working out and there are no limitations. Allowing the ligament to heal on its own was a great thing. It proved a lot of people wrong.”

I would love for this to be true. The less discussion about his arm the better. Another season with a backup QB getting most of the starts gives me, and most of my immediate family, night tremors.

On Chad.

“To be honest with you, I have no clue what’s going on with Chad,” Palmer says. “There are a lot of guys who want to take his position, I’ll tell you that. Chad’s got more skins on the wall and is obviously still an unbelievable talent. But these guys aren’t scared. They want his spot, and they’re going to compete every day of the offseason.

“We’ve got guys who want [Ochocinco and Houshmandzadeh’s] jobs so bad, it’s crazy. They’ll do anything. Guys like Andre Caldwell(notes), who’s a hungry young receiver, and Jerome Simpson(notes), a second-year guy from Coastal Carolina. They’re ready to do whatever I ask them, and whatever coach asks of them. The team chemistry overall is awesome.”

I love it. It's like he threw Chad a fade with that statement and now Chad just has to go get it.