a blog on being a baba, parenting, and politics

My Greatest Ambition – Diary of a Baba

Posted on September 21, 2018

Happy 4th birthday to our lovely son Collin!! On this day, I’m reminded of how he helped me find my greatest ambition. My ambition is to be a bold, present baba in all parts of my life. That is hella ambitious.

I shared about Collin’s autism, convinced that society will not only accept but embrace him and our family. That was ambitious.

I recognized my limitations and surrendered to the risk of failure. That was ambitious.

I became more sensitive and patient, maybe too much for some. That was ambitious.

I shared tears with friends and accepted their help and support. That was ambitious.

I listened to my mistakes and was compassionate to myself and, in turn, others around me. That was ambitious.

Finding my greatest ambition has allowed me to be BOLD and PRESENT in all parts of my life. One does not replace another but to find the one thing that is core to my purpose drives everything else.

Some of you may know me as always being very ambitious. I’ve grown a grassroots organization and started many new projects. I’ve helped to build political power that is guided by our vision and values and helped to train and mentor the next generation of activists and organizers. This is all true and I’m proud of it all. But finding my greatest ambition and what’s most core to my purpose has allowed me to access my full self to be even more powerful.

Of course, there are a caveats to all this.

As a cis-man, it is easy to say some of this. Standards are quite low for us to show up in emotional and vulnerable ways. And truth be told, I get a lot of props for things that should be normal.

Rather than getting stuck by all this, this is call for dismantling patriarchy all together. If anything, cis-men need to be more emotional and vulnerable because we have the privilege and protection to do so.

I also want to thank the dozens of people, the young and young at heart, who personally reached out to me, pulled me aside during rallies and meetings or emailed me to share about the impact of this blog. Thank you.

Even though I know how important this blog has been to some, the system is designed to make us feel more alone when we reveal and share. But in these times, our best defense is still our connection with each other, connecting towards a more liberatory and just society. Now that is ambitious!

I especially want to thank the parents and guardians of young awesome autistics; may the world become more compassionate and empathetic for all our little ones. I appreciate the truth telling and head-nods; no one journey will be the same and yet we can feel so much of the same. We are on this path together.

I’m proud that I wrote 40 blogs the last year. WOW!! Collin gave me the strength and inspiration for this and I’m committing to continue this practice. I’d say that is pretty awesome and ambitious.