~ Prakriti

The end of Karma

“The whole problem with the world today is that fools and fanatics are

always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.”

Bertrand Russell

have you ever realized in the moment that you wished you could stop something from going the way it was going? but you just don’t know what to do to break out of the circle? you are held captive only by things you ‘identify’ with. it’s like your face is stuck to a mirror and you can’t see it because you’re too close.

some relaxation is necessary to restore your state to a more quiet one. and even if it’s only for a few minutes, the answer comes… as if from above.

the question is is that moment of intelligence going to be turned into action? whether the action is ‘right’ or not, once done in the spirit of the freedom from negative karma there should be a kind of euphoria.

there are two great helps in literature which come to mind. one is hamlet’s soliloquy. he asks himself, “whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them.” why does he say ‘nobler in the mind’? as opposed to nobler where?

is it ‘nobler’ to accept than to struggle? for example if i see that i am asleep, should i accept it? or struggle to awaken as a truly active aim?

the other is ” happiness is a feeling that a resistence is overcome, power increases.” which is what nietzche said. we are in our own way. if we can just get out of our way we not only have the cake and eat the cake, we transform the cake.

that’s all i can think of except we know that the “bhagavad gita” haggles with the question of karma and action and non-doing but completely ignores the help which conscience can be.

maybe. at least it’s a corner of the universe that really does depend on my will.
but then again when i can’t get somewhere i am aiming at i let out a spoiled brat groan which must reach the center of the universe because then some magic appears to save me from despair.

I’ve been doing an awful lot of groaning lately. Maybe because I know the cold is coming, or maybe because I really don’t want to spend $3,600 to continue with this dental surgery and canceled my appointment for this morning, because in five years when I’m 70, I’m not going to care, or maybe because even though I got rid of so much when I made my move, I still have to get rid of more because slowly but surely my daughter’s complaints are taking their toll on me, or maybe it’s because I really don’t like living with one of my children. I take that back. They don’t like me and all my art ‘clutter’ living with them. If I wasn’t living with them, I’d have to find Section 8 housing which means ‘no pets’. I could go on and on but then I’d still be groaning. I feel stuck actually. At least, thank God, I am being creative.

I adore taking care of my granddaughter but the situation would be better if I went home when they came home from work. I often leave to have soup and salad someplace else but then I get lectured for spending money. I would have dropped dead before ever lecturing my mother. Finally told my daughter so that I couldn’t believe what she was saying to me.

Sorry if this is too long. You can delete it if there is too much groooooaaannning!

that is on topic pam. boy, do i know what you mean. and you never could have predicted that your daughter would treat you so cruelly. it must be human nature. well, my oldest son once invited me to come and live with them. i thought about and although we always get along fine i knew it would not be like a nice tv show where everyone loves grandpa…. people just get on each others nerves. but you have figured it out. section 8 housing in the same neighborhood…. then you can see your grand daughter and go home afterwards. just do it. suffer no more. thanks for commenting.

Ah thanks Scott….for letting me vent. I’ve got nowhere else or anyone else. I sure can’t say what I’ve said on FB. And I won’t talk to my son in Phoenix because I don’t want to pit one kid against the other. Heck, the one daughter in Chicago who just got married barely acknowledges me. A very strange feeling to think for years that I was a good mom, stay at home, drove them everywhere, friends too, yet, the way they talk, it was as if I was never there or did anything. Very puzzling to me.

I think I may fill out the papers on line for section 8. There are quite a few places here. A ton of apartments, townhouses, etc. and lots of retirees here in ND. Many no longer want to live in a home and worry about snow removal. I just hope there is a place where I can keep my dog. I’ve had her for 14 yrs. I will not get rid of her.

” the way they talk, it was as if I was never there or did anything. Very puzzling to me.”
yes, that would really hurt. it’s better when they volunteer a few sentences remembering with gratitude. i don’t know what the world is coming to. i know i told my father many times how much i appreciated him. well, my mother too but in a different tone.

reading all comments make me love you all even more! We have each other and non of us is alone 🙂

Quote:
“have you ever realized in the moment that you wished you could stop something from going the way it was going?”

yes, I have. I wish I could change a few things that change the lives of my parents for ever, that will be loving their mothers in a very young age. That maybe was the reason they both loved each other to death but their parental skills left all three of us hungry for parents. I wish I could stop my older sister getting married when a teen and having 4 kids . She never had a life and unfortunately by not growing a normal life it made her depend on all of us like she remained in her childhood. I wish I could have one more day with my late husband and spend it in bed drinking and making love. I wish I could stop sickness and hunger in kids. When you get sick when a child, it changes who you are for life! yes, I wish to stop some things going the way they did …. Since I am not groaning, moaning or despair, I am going to say ” I am blessed for what I have” and I am going to have a glass of wine and cheer to your health ! Scottie, you have a way to make people open up after reading your posts. Please never change it. It feels good to share a thought or two… Loveya!