A Slimy Creation Myth

In the beginning there was only Slime. The Slime existed in a slowly quivering state for aeons until it suddenly grew a consciousness.The Slimebeast yawned as if it just awoke from a long nap and looked around confused. He could see only himself stretching from one end of the universe to the other. This was amusing enough for a few aeons but Slimebeast grew bored and decided to shape the cosmic mucus into new shapes.The first thing Slimebeast created was a star, it shone greenly in the divine goop. The second thing Slimebeast created was a rock to orbit the star. The third thing he did was to create life.Life exploded upon the rock and everything was suddenly overpopulated so the fourth thing Slimebeast did was to create violence and he stared in disgust as the animals rendered each other asunder and he saw that it was good.Man was created when a beast stared upon the sky and realized in horror that He Was Small And Meaningless. He instantly took shelter under a rock and tried not to think of what he had seen, but it was too late. The man told all others of what he had witnessed and they too knew that They Were Small and for this revelation they killed him.The first mans anger however kept him in the corporeal world and so came to be the first ghost.It was a dark night and some humans were gathered around the campfire and one man who had been haunted decided to tell an untrue ghost story based on the ones he had heard before. No one of course believed him.It was not until the night after they found a man lying in the ashes, this man, born from ashes and lies taught humanity the proper art of lying.Together the story teller and the first liar perfected the art of the stories.Meanwhile Slimebeast was paying attention to a completely different rock around a completely different star, but back to earth.The Liar saw a bird crying under a tree one day and asked her what was wrong."Oh I so love the storyteller" she said "but I am a bird"."Do not worry" said the Liar and lied so hard she became a human. The bird thanked the liar and ran off to kiss the story teller who wasn't instantly smitten by her. Seeing this The Liar wanted a woman of his own and lied so hard he made one.The woman wanted to lie to the world as well, but not to the ear, but to the eye. She went to the deepest caves and the highest mountains but could find no way to lie to the eye. Slimebeast was kind of bored of that new planet and he dropped a vial of ink onto earth. The vial of course broke and ink flowed everywhere until it took the shape of the very first drawing. The drawing and the artist collected all the ink and together learned how to lie to the eye.Thousands of years went by, the first ghost had opened a restaurant that put on spooky plays every now and then. It had attracted all manners of bizarre guests, in fact it's reputation had spread as far as to outer space.The restaurant was great, but a little creepy, in fact it was maybe a bit Too Spooky.