Castle Guide

About Us

A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone.
ایمام سیزدهم

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Oh Stewardess, I Speak Jive…

The Washington Times has this article discussing a DEA memo regarding their potential need for Ebonics translators.

Hey, here is fun idea, why don’t we actually teach children English in schools. Now I’m sure that we would have to get the various teachers’ unions out there to make some concessions, or rather have the tax payers fork out more money to support these new innovative language courses that would teach children how to speak English. Although these English classes may need to be an afterschool activity as to ensure that they do not interfere with the indoctrination of our children into the ways of progressive political thought, combating climate change, and exploring the myriad of sexual experiences available to them, it may be worth the effort required.

In reality though this story is really just another example of how the teachers’ union, Democratic politicians, Progressive/Leftist policies, and the race pimps have victimized the African-American community and created a sub-class of citizens. And this problem extends to immigrant communities also. Without a mastery of, let alone a basic understanding of English, these groups will remain isolated and out of step with the rest of the citizens of this country. The only way to have these groups truly assimilate into society is to get them to speak English. But then again this goes against the politically correct liberal mantra that all cultures are equal. The reality though is that this moral relativism is not only wrong, but will lead to the transformation of the country from the 1st world power it is today to a 3rd world wayside.

About The Mandarin

The Mandarin, whose real name is 吏恆, joined the order in 1309, and introduced the Gormogons into England during the 18th Century.The Mandarin enjoys spending time with his pet manticore, Βάρἰκος, or Barry (who can be found in the Bestiary). When not in the Castle…well, frankly, nobody is quite sure where he goes.The Mandarin popularized the fine art of “gut booting,” by which he delivers a powerful kick to the stomach of anyone that annoys him. Although nearly universal today, the act of gut booting or threatening someone or something with a gut boot is solely due to him.