File this under “What the hell?” A man named Roger Oates of Norwalk, Ohio, bit his neighbor, Scott Hall. It isn’t clear why Hall was bitten by Oates. One theory is that the drunken Oates, with his companion Ronald Mantz, confronted Hall about a court matter; allegedly Hall did not want to testify on Oates’ behalf over “an underage consumption complaint.” I hope it was over a rich girl, because you know that would make my dreams come true. But in all seriousness, I can’t go for that. Hall’s eyebrow was nearly bitten off, but thankfully, his private eyes were unscathed. I’ll tell you one thing, this will not make Sara smile.

It cannot be confirmed if every time Oates goes away, he takes a piece of Hall with him.

Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to Hello Giggles she also writes for Thought Catalog, The Gaggle, and Bustle. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.

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