Thursday, April 10, 2014

What A Load: Bike Blogging About Bikes Because This Is A Blog About Bikes

After hocking the loogie that was yesterday's post onto the subway tracks that are the Internet, I saddled up and pedaled off, and the ride home from the café wasn't too shabby either:

Moving out of Brooklyn was the smartest thing I've done in a long time--though admittedly that doesn't mean much, since almost everything I do is dumb, so in my life the bar for smart sits pretty low.

Maybe one day I will organize the Wildcat Rock Machine New York City Anti-Fondo--though I probably won't.

Also, if yesterday's ride wasn't baronial enough for you, keep in mind that I also rode my kid to Apple Inc. child labor camp on either end of it, meaning I changed bikes twice, which pushes yesterday's cycling exploits up into the realm of the über-baronial:

Hey, I live in the New York City hill country, so that little commute is no joke, and I'm easily pushing something like 400 Imperial Fuck-Tonnes of leather, metal, and plastic each way. I have to bring the little kiddie bike all the time too, because despite my best efforts to discourage my child from riding he loves to do it anyway. Hopefully I can at least steer him away from the path to Fred-dom on which I wasted so many years and dollars, though I suppose our progeny live to spite us, and I dread one day catching him shaving his legs and applying "embro" while pedaling away on rollers and watching "Breaking Away" in his Google Monocle or whatever people are using to watch movies on by then.

Speaking of Big Dummies (both myself and the bike), I've had one for something like four years now. In that time, it's become an indispensable part of my life. So, while it may still be a little early for an actual "long-term review" (check back with me in ten more years), I think that at least an update is warranted. (By the way, Surly did not ask me to do this. I don't think I've been in touch with anyone from Surly in like three years. I just figured someone might find this useful, and I like to think I'm the only bike blogger on the Internet who uses a piece of cycling equipment for more than six months.)

Here's what the bike looked like when I took delivery of it in, I believe, 2010:

That's pretty much exactly how it came out of the box, apart from the pedals, which weren't included.

In that time, I have made the following changes or additions (not counting bell and lights and little bric-a-brac like that):

--Ergon Dork-O-Matic Labia Grips;
--Xtracycle Peapod and plastic snapdeck thingy (the kid has nearly outgrown the Peapod, soon I can just sit him on the bench and be done with it);
--Xtracycle WideLoaders (you take them on and off as needed, they are handy but tend to clip parked cars and slam you in the Achilles tendon if you're not careful);
--Fenders;
--A Brooks saddle, which has held up just fine despite spending a good portion of its life outside, and which has conformed lovingly to the contours of my scranus:

(You just barfed.)

I have not made the following changes out of cheapness and laziness, which I really, really should:

--A center stand

Seriously, using a cargo bike with only a kickstand is a major pain in the ass. I'm an idiot for putting up with it for this long, having dumped the bike while loading it more than once, fortunately never with a human child on board.

I have also not made and will probably never make the following very expensive fantasy changes, which are not even remotely necessary but which would be really nice to have:

--A Rohloff hub, or at least some kind of robust internally geared thingy (this bike sits outside a lot and such a thing would probably better handle that level of neglect);
--Some kind of electrical assist (I admit it, now that I live in the New York City hill country it would be pretty nice to have).

As far as maintenance, I've done as little as possible, and everything has held up very well despite that. I have not touched the hubs, and last I checked the bearings were still smooth. I have not changed the chain, chainrings, or cassette, and they're fine. The Surly bottom bracket it came with developed some play I could not get rid of, but I replaced it with a used bottom bracket from my parts bin and it's been fine ever since. Obviously, I've changed the brake pads. As far as cables, I have replaced only the rear derailleur cable once, though all the cables and housings are overdue for replacement. (The rear shifting is the first thing to go when the bike sits outside in the rain, thanks in part to the half-mile cable run.) Incredibly, I have not yet needed to change the tires, even the rear. I don't know if this is because they're incredibly durable, or if it's because having the rear wheel 500 feet from your posterior instead of right under it makes it wear more slowly. The wheels in gestalt have been problem-free, and I've ridden the bike as pictured above, fully loaded with both kiddie bike and actual kid, over multiple railroad ties without any problems apart from ejecting random stuff from the cargo bags. (Parenting tip: kids love riding over railroad ties.)

In short, the Big Dummy is as robust as it is long and green, though I really should do a complete overhaul this spring, because it needs new cables and it's ticking from somewhere, and there are probably also squirrels living in it.

Anyway, if you're considering a bike like this maybe you'll find some of the above useful. I'll also add that, if you like to ride bikes and you have kids, a bike like this that is somewhat "sporting" and that your child can also fall asleep on will do wonders for your quality of life.

Nice review of the Big Dummy. I have admired the thing since you got it. I've also been cosidering my options the past few years about how to do my grocery shopping by bicycle; Trailer, Rack and panniers etc. but I do like the Big D and would love to have them. The only thing I'd do different I think is fit a couple huge Pelican cases to the rear rack instead of saggy bags. I hate saggy bags.

RCT:Exactly. Looking for a city bike to haul groceries. Probably end up in Madison even though their taxes are high. Need a Trader Joes bike. Madison is pretty flat, probably two gears will do it. Need a beer cup holder.

+1 on the double kickstand. I just put one on my carry loads around town bike, and it is a fabulous change. The one additional thing after that was some way to limit the front wheel and handlbars from swinging halfway around and chipping the frame. The solution for now is an Christophe strap wrapped around the top tube and hooked onto the fender mount.

I have an easily removable WALD front basket, and the rig works great in this $.10/bag locale for picking up sausages, potatoes, and beer after church.

Nope, when that thing is loaded up and you've got to get over a hill you lose all sense of shame. I would not throw a little help out of bed. (Though frugality would never let me spend the money to actually do it.)

Indignities of commutingThose pictures all looked so nice that I was tempted to ride in from I 287 country...everything was fine until I hit a bump while riding under the GW Bridge & broke my saddle bolt...ending the commute with 7 miles of riding while standing/sidesaddle right butt cheek on top tube

1. Used an old road bike the first time i tried to ride with my one year old son in baby seat. With the narrow wheels, he could lean over and dump us both on the ground. He thought this was soooooo funny.

2. Got a mountain bike for riding with son on back. Much more staple. He learned to love our evening rides. He'd amuse himself by taking my wallet, keys and hankerchief out of my back pocket and dropping them on the road while i biked. This would extend the ride as I had to go up and down the road looking for them.3. Started wearing strechy road shorts instead of shorts with pockets on rides. Son pulled down my stretchy shorts while I was riding. He thought this was funny.

Does your child flop around when he falls asleep in that seat or have you figured out a way to keep him fairly upright when unconscious. I think my son would get a better nap if he wasn't flopping forward and waking himself up every 30 seconds.

Took the 38 year old masi out yesterday for the first ride of the season (rode my plastic giant in the crappy weather). I missed the compact gearing (original campy nuovo record 52/45 chain rings) a little on hills, but still didn't wish for an electic assist. Although I wasn't portaging a child and a second bike.

"I'll also add that, if you like to ride bikes and you have kids, a bike like this that is somewhat "sporting" and that your child can also fall asleep on will do wonders for your quality of life."

I wouldn't add the extra "which," Blog Drafter. But grammatically this is a nightmare sentence with no less than 6 subjects/predicates, so maybe our old friend the em-dash would help break it up a bit.

"If you have kids and like to ride bikes, a bike like this -- one that is somewhat sporty but on which your child can also fall asleep -- will do wonders for your quality of life."

My next kickstarter project is to collect all the Presta valve covers thrown away by weightweenies, and resell them to dentists as "aero valve covers" for $35 each. $55 for "carbon look". James Huang gives then 5/5 stars, and they spin up nicely.

Meanwhile in Canukia, a dentist has bought John Lennon's tooth for $33,000 to secure some DNA to clone John Lennon as his son. Really.

In Cervelo wind tunnel, my aero valve covers will save you 0.001 watts*, which may not sound like much for $85 (yeah, the price went up, so buy now, assholes), by as my buddy Lenny would point out, that is 6 centimeters every 148 furlongs, divided by Pi, so, yeah.

It warms my heart that people can spend enough money to keep me and my wife alive for a year for a Beatle tooth. What's he gonna do when he finds out that it was all mostly luck? Meeting up w/Paul. Meeting Brian Epstein. Playing in Hamburg for 10,000 hours. Being alive at a point in time when recording had been invented, black American music was available to listen to, and a so-called "baby boom" worth of repressed teenagers were ready to soak it all up? Blow me. Take Herchell Walker's DNA, clone it and put it through those same experiences, I guarantee you'll have one big bad-ass Beatle.

Wheresowhomtofore, I might verymuch perchance hope to mention, that were I the bicyce-cycling type -- as I most assuredly am -- and did I (or you for that matter) have children in my (or your, ibid) charge, then carborundum ipso fatso, I should verymuch say that the Surly Big Dummy, thus outfitted -- or any similar bicycle similarly procured and similarly outfitted ) could quite vastly improve one's quality-of-life insofar as the slumbering of toddlers AND the more sporting pursuits of life were BOTH accommodated with equal finesse/panache/ganache/savoir-faire.

I can understand why the pedal pocket guy took a year to invent his cozy. After all, it took him five minutes of playing pocket pool while standing in his driveway to explain the need and use of a sheath for your pedals. He likes to wank.

Some years ago I was riding home from a class at Uni when I spotted a guy riding a Big Dummy up ahead. I pedaled hard for almost two miles before I caught up to him. Turns out it was an old friend of mine not known for his fast riding. Turned out he had a BionX rear wheel hidden under all the pannier fabric.

How long is the Dummy Deck on the back of that thing? I know you've got yours configured for human child portage but I bet a rectangular, large 6 Gallon or 24 Quart milk crate would fit perfect on there. That's what I would do.

The dimensions of the rectangular, large 6 Gallon or 24 Quart milk crate is 18.75" x 13" x 11". That would hold alot of big stuff like milk jugs and cases of beer. The side bags would easily hold the rest of my sundries procured at the local market.

Socks, I meant socks. Must stop throwing them away. Pedal prophylactics. If the guy really wants to sell pedal covers, he should show the pedals taking chunks of flesh out of his shins. Or does he? tl;dw

Oh, how Fred. You realize what an ANCHOR those 5 grams are?? Do you not know that Armstrong won Alp D'Huez by secretly removing his valve covers? Oh, course, he put them back on for descents, for aero, because furlongs and centimeters and watts. He just admitted to the doping thing to throw off Oprah Winfrey from beating his Strava time up Alp D'Huez.

I'm sure I've mentioned this to you (snob) at some point, but the absolute best thing to ever happen to my 1X Karate Monkey was the addition of an Alfine hub. You can find a sweet pre-built for a reasonable price and utilize a rapid-fire style shifter, unless you're into the twisty kind which you can totally run/rock if you're that kinda dork. You don't necessarily hafta go for the ones made in Germany that are over a G. The one's from Shimano are actually pretty dope.

Scranus. Could one use the perfectly preserved imprint of Snobbo's scranus in the Brooks saddle to make a clone? It's not exactly DNA, but I'm thinking those detailed contours should contain enough information to do a little reverse engineering.

Sod the expense, get a Rahwwwlawf for the bike; you'll never look back. Well, that's not strictly true, you still have to do headchecks, but you get the point. Makes gear changing unbelievably easy even while stationary, one set of controls, no cross-chaining to worry about, even steps between gears, go from high to low with a nonchalant flick of the wrist blah blah

Checked out the kickstarter and I've changed my mind. Only $15 will get you a set, but here's the real deal: $35 will get you two sets. That's like, only $17.50 each! He's still got a loooooonnnnnggggg way to go so let's all kick in. Because math. Oh, and THIS.

Just extrapolate a decade or two. Electric vehicles of every possible size and type could fill up all available space not currently permitted for motorized vehicles. Soon it will be illegal to walk down your block, much less ride a bike under muscle power.

First!I could not help but noticing that the top tube of your wonderful cargo bicycle is somewhat saggy. I actually never seen such a thing before, it must be the weather conditions overseas that melted it. A google search informs me that it is a common problem in bicycles made out of wax (especially those they used to make near ENT clinics out of residual ear wax back in days of the big Depression). According to your photographs, it seems that you have bought it this way, but by this time your guarantee probably expired. I don't now exactly what needs to be done, though I probably try to hang it each night by the top tube, in hopes that it will regain its shape. If this fails, you should invest in my kickstarter top tube tensioner campaign that I'm thinking about starting.Good luck!

When my (currently 30-ish year olds) were tots, I'd ride 'em in my Dutch-made kid seat that hooked on the handlebars. I LOVED having them up there in front of me where we could interact more easily and they LOVED being at the front of the bike and not just looking at my ass, not that that wouldn't have been a perfectly fine thing for them to do.

It was highly illegal, of course, and if I'd been caught doing it, I'd surely have been thrown into child molester's prison where the other inmates would have been happy to show me what it's like to "ride in front". Still, no younguns were harmed in the production of this motion picture and they both survived and developed into perfectly normal functional human beings, albeit, my daughter does like living in Brooklyn, though that's another story.

Yeah, we used it WAY past the time any responsible, cautious and concerned parent would. By the time I convinced my daughter she was big enough to ride her own damn bike, she weighed enough that the thing had bent and was hitting the top tube every time I turned (solution - only ride in straight lines).

I can see why the consumer product safety commission would brand them as highly dangerous, then again, they'd probably have outlawed my entire childhood and then I'd have nothing to blabber about in my dotage!

Wonderful post! Youve made some very astute observations and I am thankful for the the effort you have put into your writing. Its clear that you know what you are talking about. I am looking forward to reading more of your sites content.australian made tralierbest quality trailers

Sponsored Linkway:

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!