Fifty-year-old Floridan L.B. Williams didn't want his wife to divorce him because he loved her, and also who would bake him cakes? Instead of seeking marriage counseling or taking Mrs. Williams on some romantic Red Lobster dinner dates, he tried to woo her back by staging a hate crime. Hey, whatever works! (It did not work.)

Mr. Williams is African-American; Donna, his wife of almost seven years, is white. One early November night, they came home to find a cross burning in their driveway, which prompted a hate crime investigation. A few days later, Donna found a note taped to a door of Casa de Williams, signed "KKK," that warned her not to leave "that [N-word]." The note struck her as odd: "When did the KKK start supporting black and white, interracial marriages?" she rhetorically asked a Panama City News Herald reporter. Police also became suspicious. After questioning, Mr. Williams allegedly admitted that he'd burned the cross and put the notes on the door so his wife "wouldn't proceed with the divorce she filed for." Police charged him with domestic violence stalking and exhibits that intimidate, which are felonies.

We're not sure how Williams concluded that staging a hate crime would win back his wife's heart. His acts seem to be more about him than her needs and preferences, which might give us insight into why their marriage deteriorated beyond repair. "He truly is a good man," Donna says. "He doesn't drink, he doesn't do drugs and he works like a dog. We just can't be together." Well, that's a charitable way of putting "my husband does really fucked-up things that scare me, and I can't deal anymore."