Living in a town with any of the following names, Amity, Amityville, Perfection or Prosperity is a sign that something unpleasant will occur.

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Science claims that hydrogen, because there is so much of it, is the building block of the universe, I dispute this, there is plenty more stupidity, and that is the building block of the universe. Frank Zappa

Laboratories will always contain at least one intricately set up chemistry set consisting of test tubes, beakers, flasks, and retorts... even if the laboratory is for a field of science that doesn't involve chemistry, ever.

Whenever the mad scientist drinks his own concoction and begins to transform/mutate, he will invariably end up smashing loads of said beakers, flask, and other junk. In fact, these intricate chemical apparatus setups exist solely for this purpose.

1. Japanese crowds scream like schoolgirls when pursued by tromping giant monsters. American crowds, however, almost don't scream at all.2. White tanktops are always bloodied, dirtied,and ultimately torn off.3. Bullet wounds to the shoulder don't hurt. They don't even keep the average human being from using that arm, actually.4. You can jump any car by running into anything. Whether it's a barrel, a stack of tires, or a pile of sand.5. You can never, ever break the chassis of a car by jumping it.6. Fatigue is a state of mind.7. Not only do bullets ricochet off of anything, but they make a zinging metallic noise when doing so, even if the ricochet is off of, say, wood.8. When confronted with strange noises in the night, women tend to undress as completely as possible, THEN go investigate, preferably with the least effective weapon available.9 More teenagers are murdered during the act of sex than in alcohol-related MVAs.

and

10. The inverse machine gun law: the more opponents one is facing, the less likely one is to actually hit ANY opponent if using a machine gun.

Oh... and

11. It's possible to carry a minigun, and along with that sufficient ammo to fire it in a sustained fashion. Not only that -- it's possible to fire said minigun from the hip, in a sustained fashion, and to aim it, if you just spread your feet apart a bit to brace yourself. (Thank you Jesse Ventura!)

Interestingly, the improved milling of grain, allowing for the complete removal of the hull and germ from the grain coincides with the advanced development of heart disease.

The improved milling of grain also helped teeth last longer, as consumers were no longer breaking them on the grit, sand, and stone bits that were always in grain products until very recently in human history . . .

And I learned from the movies that:Women in a cat fight will always windup with their hair messed up just perfectly.Mummies have magical powers. The hero or heroine who is at the mercy of the villain and in a vulnerable, impossible-to-escape position will. The Frankenstein monster really only wants a friend. The homely girl will get all dolled up just to be slaughtered. The phone will ring at the most inopportune times, including at just the right moment to prevent reconciliation, revealing of the secret, or to make the audience jump.