themodestpearl

I really appreciated this series. I also live in an area where finding secular homeschool families is a rarity. The ironic twist is that we are a Christian family, but I do teach evolution to my children. Ultimately I leave the choice in their hearts. I feel like I’m an “in the closet” secular homeschool and the one and only facebook group I’m a member of heavily involves the teachings of Christianity. I feel fierce conflict within my own mind at times, but rarely express them simply because I do not want my children to see me struggle {I do not want them to feel that I am “ashamed” of my choices to teach science without a religious slant}. I really feel compelled to share a true life experience I had with my {then} 15 year old, Lee. We were running errands and I could just tell there was something weighing heavy on his mind. When I asked, “whats going on?”. He broke into tears. He first said, “I’m scared to say this mom, because I feel such terrible guilt”. . Lee is a gifted boy. When I say, “gifted” I say this more in the terms of his character. Hes an open thinker and inquisitive. He {at this time} is a 9th grader in the public school system. “As I advance in biology I’m really finding that science removes a faith based theory”. As hes saying this hes in serious tears, sobbing in fact. “I just don’t know, mom…I just don’t know”. My heart ached for him. I ached because when I attending nursing school I experienced the very same scenario. I immediately pulled the car over and hugged him. My first response was, “son, you should never feel guilty for asking questions”. And this was his response, “mom, everyone at school sayings, “I love Jesus”, and then the very same people hurt others, do drugs, having sex, stealing, cheating…I don’t want to be apart of those “Jesus loving people”. At this point I was in tears. My response could only be, “Lee, we have free will-set aside faith, just as humans, we have the amazing right of choice”. “I know this struggle is real, I’ve had it myself. You have to remove the painted layers and find what your heart says to you”. “In my faith I choose to believe that if there is a God he puts above hope and faith, LOVE”. “We have the ability to love and nowhere does it tells us to pick and choose who receives love.” This conversation lasted for a better part of 3 hours, and in the end I knew I had to create an environment to allow him to grow with a feeling of “guilt”. I myself am terrified to expressing the true reasoning for us choosing to switch Lee to a charter school and we will be homeschooling our 7yro {and will also homeschool our 3yro}. Why I love secular homeschoolers is simply because they accept all. And really…isn’t that what we want our children to implement in their our lives? Love one another, encourage, and learn from one another. Now matter your age, faith or color. So, even though I am a Christian, I choose to secular homeschool because more than anything I want my children to love.

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