Tuesday, February 25, 2014

I’m a decent fan of The Borgias (writer/director Neil Jordan), though I often find it a little slow and drawn out. That’s the same thing I have to say about Byzantium. Cool story, nice rich look, but it’s a little slow for my taste. I still hung on to Byzantium, it oozes quality, so I let it do its thing. The screen play is by Moira Buffini (screenwriter/Jane Erye), that’s another movie I like but found decently slow. So what’s my overall take? Quality story, slow paced – but worth watching if you enjoy character driven flicks.

Can I also just say what a small freaking world! I watched Byzantium and Jane Erye back to back and had no clue it was the same darn screenwriter until about 15 minutes ago.

Byzantium takes a new spin on things, with two strong female
leads that couldn’t be any more different. Saoirse Ronan plays Eleanor, she’s
quiet and always looking inside herself for something deeper. Gemma plays Clara, Eleanor’s ever serving
backer, keeping the two vampires with a roof over their heads for a couple of
hundred years. The performances by
Saoirse Ronan and Gemma Arterton are impeccable, I found myself getting lost in
their delivery of lines, which was very nice.
I give mad props to the screen writer and actresses.

So we have this lovely pair, and they’re vampires, and they feed. You get to see just how different they are
when it comes to the way they procure blood.
Eleanor gently massages her prey with her deep emotional hands, only
taking from people who are in their twilight time or on the verge of crossing
over. She’s never scary, only gentle
like an angel who’s been sent to these people to help them over.

Clara’s wild, and you’ll come to appreciate her far more as
time goes on in this movie. She’s sloppy
at best, you’ll question why she does the things she does – but it all comes
to light with timed flashbacks that help to tell the entire tale of this pair. Clara’s
been used, it’s only natural that she would treat the rest of the world as a
game that needs to be played in order to get what she needs. She’s quite the protector, and by using her
many strengths against those that would use her she’s able to help those that
are weaker.

I definitely got lost in the cinematography and music, it’s
gorgeous. It’s so darn methodical, even
to a fault…for me of course. Like I said
I did find myself checking the clock a few times, but it always kept me hanging
on because I wanted more of this gem of a story.

Caleb Landry plays Frank, he becomes quite obsessed with
Eleanor and she with him. They were a
perfect fit in my opinion. They’re both
very awkward in this movie, and I could see them spotting each other in any
surroundings and being drawn together.
That’s always a plus. I hate it
when movies thrusts two people together and really can’t give you any reason
for the attraction. Here we have to very unique individuals, shy, awkward,
perfect for overall tone. I couldn’t
have seen Eleanor with anyone else.

So while we learn both present and past information on Clara
and Eleanor, you’ll also be privy to the larger picture. The Brotherhood is out to find and eliminate
Clara and Eleanor. Through intelligent
flashbacks, that are not at all cheesy, as flashback can sometimes be - you’ll
come to understand how vampires fit into this world and why Clara and Eleanor
are so different on many levels.

Want to know something else that’s cool – blood waterfalls…nuff
said. Also just took one more look at
Neil’s directing list and he’s the director of Interview with the Vampire. I swear I learn something new every day. Sometimes I find out I’ve liked quite a few
things from one director, Neil’s one of those directors.

Great Story, directing, acting - but I was a little bored - I guess I'm perplexed as to what my rating is....This is between a 6 and 7.

I find out so much through IMDB these days. I was watching a new film (that I liked by
the way) called “The Seasoning House”, directed by Paul Hyett. So after watching any movie these days I do
my 15 minutes of work on IMDB to see what that directors done in the past. I’m almost always surprised to see just how
small of a world this movie making business is…and I’ll talk about that later.

Ok so first things first, The Seasoning House is pretty darn good. Pretty good probably doesn’t make
you want to run out and devour the movie this instant – and it shouldn’t. I just want to let it be known that despite
it not being perfect, it’s pretty good.

Its 1996, in the Balkans – young girls kidnapped from their families
are being prostituted out to the military, all whilst being kept in an old
decomposing house. During the film you
closely follow Angel, a deaf and mute, girl who’s been kidnapped but reserved
to take care of the girls versus being a prostitute herself.

One of the opening scenes in The Seasoning House is a brutal
one. You’ll be meeting the next influx
of young girls into the house, and watch as Victor (brothel owner) makes sure
the girls know who’s in charge. The
special effects and make-up in this scene are just great. The make-up throughout the film is top-notch
in my opinion. The thing that isn’t
top-notch from the get-go, Viktor. I was
highly disappointed in this character. I hated his lines, seemed so dorky. He also looked so clean and polished compared to the others.

Viktor takes Angel under his wing. Angel is played by Rosie Day who manages to do a pretty good job despite her characters lack of speech. Viktor notices straight away that she’s
different. Angel is deaf and has a large
birthmark on her cheek, something that might hurt her in the “real” world but
works to her benefit in this horrible situation. I quite liked this, as it also gives Angel an
out when she doesn’t respond to the cries and pleading of the other girls being
held captive. You might normally ask why
a person wouldn’t help another who’s being tortured, but Angel can’t even hear
their pleas…though she doesn’t make a lot of eye contact with them either, as
I’m sure she can read lips in some manner.

So beings that Angel is sort of damaged goods, she’s left to
pretty the girls up (though that’s laughable) and pump them full of
heroin. I think one thing this movie
could have benefited from was cleaning the damn girls up, and make the house a
little nicer. Let’s face it that any
dude who visits this place is a total creeper.
But I still feel like some of these girls where so fucked up that they
would put off even the most vile man, so while the dirtiness of it added
greatly to the cinematography – in my head, the state of the girls would
put-off anyone. Ok, so that’s that.

Spoilers

Eventually Angel develops a friendship with another girl
being kept at the house. This girl can
sign, and Angel is immediately smitten and wanting to help. The girl plays all her cards right with
Angel, it’s hard to tell whether there’s a true friendship there or if she’s simply
trying to manipulate Angel – I guess it doesn’t matter. She knows that becoming a friend to Angel
could be the difference between life and death.

^^^^^^^^holy crap scary man

Two words – Ryan Oliva (Ivan). Two words – Holy crap. I won’t give away the whole scene but holy
hell this man is quite honestly one of the scariest men I have ever seen in a
movie. Ivan’s a “patron” of the house. I
can honestly say I would probably die from fear if I were in a room alone with
this man. This scene had me holding my breath and sets off the second half of
the story. Here’s where my biggest gripe
comes from.

Have you ever been watching a movie and the main character
is escaping but by dumb luck they end up in the worst place possible, like say the
killers house? Yes, you have?? Me too, it was called Eden Lake and I hated
it then. This also happens in The
Seasoning House, twice. This was my
absolute biggest gripe, it’s just way too convenient. The reason I still rate this higher than Eden Lake is that at least the characters are not doing moronic things constantly just so you can keep the story going.

Sean Pertwee (Goran) also meets with a highly questionable
end..or does he? It’s one of those
endings where you get to draw your own conclusions, and I’ll be honest I would
have preferred something a little tighter.
This isn’t some crazy thought provoking change your view on the world
type movie, I don’t think we need such a broad ending. It seems like people are scared to end things
these days, I’m all for a director having a beginning and an end. I don’t always want to draw my own
conclusions.

End Spoilers

Flashbacks - something I normally hate, but they're not overdone here. It's a little convenient that some characters from her past show up in her future, but hey - this is a movie and movies are stories!

The music really sets
the perfect tone in The Seasoning House, done by Paul E Francis. I noticed it straight away, I love anything
that sets such a great mood and doesn’t sound like canned movie music. It reminded me of works like you’ve heard in
Eden Lake and The Descent (though no one can beat David Julyan IMOP). The music is pretty darn good.

I think Paul Hyett made it to second base with this one, I
enjoyed it and I can’t wait to see what he has coming. Paul has done make-up work on movies like The
Descent, Eden Lake, The Children, and The Woman in Black. I can see how some of these movies have
rubbed off on him. The Seasoning House,
written and directed by Paul Hyett, is pretty darn good for a first time
director.

Monday, February 10, 2014

So here’s the quandary I’m in with Open Grave, I feel like I
should like it, but I just don’t. It’s
like when someone puts this valiant effort into making a new inventive cake
flavor, but when you taste it you realize that something in the recipe is NOT
working for you. Does that make sense to
anyone?

Open Grave follows a man who wakes up in a massive grave of
dead bodies with no memory of who he is or how he’s gotten there. He will meet up with a larger group of folks
who’ve also woken up to find that they don’t know who they are, or why they’re
here. The rest of the movie follows
these characters around while they try to figure out whose good and who’s bad.

I really enjoyed the overall concept, but I didn’t want the
guts of the movie to be the characters trying to figure out who they are. I wanted the guts of this movie to be these
people figuring out what the hell is going on in general! People, none of us remember who we are – yes this
is weird. For now, let’s just table that
discussion and figure out if we’re in mortal danger and try to leave this place
like we’re friends. I don’t care who did
what at this point, let’s just focus on surviving and finding other humans who
might be able to fill in the blanks for us - deal?

Light Spoilers

So there’s the gist of it.
All these characters spend most of the movie trying to remember who they
are, and they also spend a lot of time giving everyone else the evil eye –
because obviously one of these characters must be an evil bastard. I just didn’t like all the paranoia that was
happening, just seemed small beans to me.

I dislike movies that give a lot of attention to small time
drama, when they’ve got this large concept looming in the background. When I think of all the fun Open Graves could
have had with the larger concept, I get sad they we mostly just watch a lot of
adults bicker with each other. I guess I
didn’t need the slow burn of them figuring out who they are, it would have been
much more fun for this to be solved quickly and for the characters to move on
to the bigger picture.

Spoilers

So there are a few other things that really drove me crazy. I wouldn’t read any further if you still want
to watch the movie.

The Chinese writing mute
lady, really???? I find it hard to
believe that a grown woman, mute or not, couldn’t help guide the other
characters a little bit more. Make the
mute woman a child, problem solved and no longer a flaw.

People can’t remember who they “are” but they are able to
retain skills they had such as reading and speaking foreign languages etc.. I
just wanted this explained more. Why
remember some things, but not others.

Jonah (Sharlto Copley), I’ve only seen him on District 9 –
and he rocked in that flick. In Open
Graves he has the strangest accent. I can’t even really describe it – but it
really distracted me. Overall the acting
from everyone in this flick did nothing to help, pretty flat and the dialogue was
pretty goofy.

Also - Have you ever watched a movie, and during this movie
a character picks up some random video camera?
Sure you probably have. Have you
ever watched a movie where that person then presses play on the video camera,
and then what they watch is at the perfect spot so that they can see one of the
other main characters doing something seemingly disturbing? WHY WHY WHY!
This is too perfect! I cannot accept that this would happen in real
life. Other characters also happen upon
other useful things such as maps and a cooler containing a cure.

I did like the music, so there’s that - but then the voice over at the end almost wiped it out for me.

So there you have it.
I just didn’t like it, and if someone could please explain to me what’s
up with that scene involving the infected masturbating woman and the infected
dude banging his head against the wall - it would be very helpful.

Or maybe it wouldn’t.

Again this is just all my opinion. Add this to your repertoire, I wouldn’t tell anyone not to watch it. In fact, I see lots of praise for this
movie. So like most things, it’s someones
cup of tea, just not mine.

There are MAJOR SPOILERS on this site. I'm talking about the whole movie and it's plot, so they're not safe to read if you haven't seen the movie yet. I don't want to ruin a movie you would like to see - so be careful.

If you just want to search for a movie by the score it got, click on the "Rated Movie by Score" page. Here you can see the rating versus a whole breakdown.

These are also my personal opinions - I'm no writer, director, or professional reviewer - I just LOVE horror movies, that's it.