Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Eating all the crud down at the dump, I'm a raccooon!Breaking into homes and stealing all the stuff, I'm a raccooon!

Wearing my mask, yay!Looking like a bear, yay!Wearing my mask and looking like a bear, I'm a raccooon!!Washing some fish and washing some fish, I'm a raccoooon!Operating at night and getting bit by dogs, I'm a raccoooon!

Wearing my mask, yay!Looking like a bear, yay!Wearing my mask and looking like a bear, I'm a raccoooon!!

Alma MaterFrom the hallowed streets of Greenpernt,To the shores of Sheepshead Bay,From the Verrazano Narrows,To Canarsie across the way...We have come together, one and all,In fellowship to commune,And to glorify the Grand ExaltedBrotherhood of Raccoons. [Howl]Marching songIn the West and in the EastThere’s a mighty little beastFor courage there is no other.When the chips are all at stakeWe are proud to call him brother.So with our noble tails entwinedAnd a spirit strong of mindWe'll have hearts that cannot melt.In the forest, in the treesOn the land or seven seasWe're brothers under the pelt.Raccoons, the noble Raccoons!

Funny hats and silly songs are what it's all about.
Just go to any ball game and look around you.

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Ah, the first cup of coffee in the morning. It smells like napalm. It's fiery breath courses through my veins and makes me wish for a bushy tail and a garbage can.

There's no free association. Everybody pays.

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On a different note, Warren Burstein opines that you should send left-over tsholnt to starving children in Africa, and it seems he may know someone who kisses their boyfriend's tzitzit because she really wanted to wear them herself but was told not to.

Additionally, he says that tefillin are kinda phallic. Which reminds me of a strap-on scene involving a busty blonde in the Comedy Central series Reno 911. I now have a mental picture that is giving me the giggles, and I will almost certainly have disquieting dreams tonight. Thanks, Warren.

Halfnutcase states that tefillin cases are symbolic of a womb and the umbilical cord. Which you strap onto your head and arm. This far from improves the mental picture, alas. No help whatsoever.

10 Comments:

What? No recipes for raccoon?Don't you know we only come here for the recipes?

I'll help out:

1 lb Sweet potatoes; cooked and mashed 1/2 c Raisins 1 c Bread crumbs 2 Apples; peeled and chopped 1/4 c Butter; melted (or margarine, if you're adverse to mixing milk and meat- on the other hand, if you are adverse to eating milk and meat, you probably won't be eating raccoon) Salt and pepper to taste 4 lb To 5 raccoon (fresh is best- if using dead on road raccoon, remove gravel and ground in dirt carefully)

First make the stuffing; mix together all ingredients until blended. Wash raccoon meat thoroughly and dry with a cloth.(You know enough to take the fur off first, don't you? Don't you?) Salt the inside. Stuff gently with the sweet potato mixture and sew opening shut with a running stitch. If company is coming, use embroidery ribbon and close with a french knot. Bake at 325°. for about 3 hours. When half done, turn over so all sides will brown.

Tasty with Ketjap Manis, too.Isn't everything?No, I'm not signing my name to this!

Anonymous Commentor: Having actually met BOTH on several occassions, I can attest to that fact that aside from some vaguely humanoid shared features (2 eyes, 2 arms, 2 legs, all that) there is no resemblance.Anonymous Commentator is a nice Jewish girl from Queens, BOTH is a snarky non- Jewish...oh, never mind....no matter what I say, I'll get grief over it.So, Spiros. Whats YOUR favorite part of the raccoon?

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About Me

Middle-aged, but younger looking than you. And hardly any arthritis. Really.
Resident of the Bay Area, though formerly of somewhere in the Netherlands - living in Europe with a US passport can be an adventure.
I should also mention that I am not a Red-Sea pedestrian. Make of that what you will.