My guilty secret: I hate being pregnant

When we were trying to conceive our first baby, I had visions of myself pregnant in dungarees, with a beautiful growing belly and glowing cheeks. I couldn’t wait. It took a while and so, when it finally happened, I was elated. It was probably the single happiest moment of my life.

But then morning sickness kicked in. And I spent 30 weeks with my head hung over the toilet. I wasn’t too worried about stretch marks – but I didn’t exactly want them and yet they came, and they conquered. Like the furious flames of hell, as one well meaning but totally off the mark friend described them.

There were joyous moments throughout those 42-weeks of pregnancy: feeling the baby kick, watching her suck her tiny little thumb at the 20-week scan, attempting to guess the sex. And the birth was incredible – a long, magical, drug-fuelled experience.

But what was best was when I was handed my beautiful daughter and no longer had to be pregnant. I could now lie on my front and back, not just my side. I could cuddle my husband front-on. I could eat brie and salami. I didn’t need a wee every three minutes.

And yet, when we decided to go for round two, I conveniently forgot all of the above and returned to my ‘I can’t wait to be pregnant and wear dungarees’ state of mind. Again, it took a while. Again, I was delighted when it eventually happened. Again, morning sickness arrived at week eight and hasn’t departed at week 26.

So to improve my mood this morning, I went for a swim. This replaces my daily runs and makes me feel better in body and mind but after hauling myself out of the pool – inelegant, at best – I stood up and my legs buckled. I limped round to the showers in excruciating pain, as the pelvic girdle pain that I escaped in my first pregnancy crippled me.

I had visions of myself with a beautiful growing belly and glowing cheeks...

But I spent most of my first pregnancy in this very toilet. Being sick.

Stretch marks "Like the furious flames of hell" (these aren't mine - I didn't take any photos. But they weren't dissimilar).

Seeing my baby sucking her little thumb in the 20-week scan was rather magical.

And when she was handed to me - it was the best moment of my life.

Swimming helps - but not when the dreaded pelvic girdle pain kicks in.

I’m already picturing the beautiful early days with my new baby...

Being a mum is the best thing ever. I feel truly blessed...

I just HATE being pregnant.

I’m acutely aware of how lucky I am to be pregnant. I know people who have experienced recurrent miscarriage, the tragedy of stillbirth or who haven’t been able to conceive. To have one healthy daughter, and another on the way – I feel blessed and express my gratitude daily.

The kicks I feel throughout the day – elbows, knees and head gently pushing against my stomach – still amaze me. I can’t wait to give birth. And I’m already picturing the beautiful early days with my new baby.

But when a friend who recently had a second baby told me that she, too, hated being pregnant, I felt utterly relieved. It’s as if there’s an unspoken rule about keeping all gripes to yourself during pregnancy because you’re lucky to be in that position.

However, as with all aspects of motherhood, my feeling is that it’s best to be honest about your feelings because keeping them locked up inside never does anyone any good. So there you have it – my guilty secret about hating pregnancy.

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THANK GOD!! I thought I was the only one!! Everyone is always so shocked when they ask how I’m doing and my answer is ” ok, but I can’t wait til it’s over!” I hated every second of my first pregnancy due to recurring bladder infections, and pretty much constant sickness. This time around as my 1st pregnancy ended in a c-section, I’ve experience pain pretty much every day and with a 3 YO I’m constantly shattered! No such thing as naps or lie ins this time around! I too, feel incredibly lucky to be able to experience pregnancy, and have another child because at one point I honestly believed I would never be able to have even 1 child! But I seriously DETEST being pregnant, with a PASSION! Not to mention the fact that every person you bump into, whether they know you or not, feels it” appropriate to comment on how fat/ small you are, ask intimate details like baby” gender, where will they sleep, will you breast or bottle feed blah blah bblah! I know they mean well, but after the hundredth time it starts to grate on me! 🙂 xx

Sam

I know what you mean about forgetting it all the second time round; I think nature blesses/curses us with that level of forgetfulness, otherwise there’s no way anyone would go through it all again!

Charlene Mills

I have a 14yr old daughter and an 11yr old son, I sailed through them pregnancies, apart from the last month of my second pregnancy when pelvic girdle pain kicked in, it was great, my first labour was horrendous but my second was great, so when I found out I was pregnant in November last year I was over the moon but literally days after when I was 6 weeks pregnant the morning sickness and extreme exhaustion kicked in, then at week 12 the pgp kicked in, the agony I am now in at 37 weeks is unbearable, I have carpal tunnel aswell so the crutches I have been given are useless as I can’t put any pressure on my wrists and two fingers have gone numb from it and 4 days ago I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes so am now having to change my diet that I’ve eaten the whole way through, they have decided to induce me at 39 weeks and I cannot wait, despite being terrified of the pain I cannot wait to not be pregnant anymore, this one has been pure hell

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