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The James Joyce - Worst Meal in Ages

For those who don't live around here, the strip of Bloor between Spadina and Bathurst is filled with restaurants. And we must have gone there at exactly the wrong time...

I went with a couple of friends to Cluck, Grunt and Low this evening, hoping to get some beef ribs. Turned out that while they weren't even that full, they couldn't seat us for an hour. A quick wander down to Country Style shows that they're full too, with a fairly long lineup.

For those of you who don't know, I generally despise pub food. That being said, I was hungry, and my friends talked me into going to Kilgour's. I don't know what the heck was up, but after sitting down for 15 minutes, nobody brought us a menu. So, my starving friends and I gave up and went out.

We walked past Everest (full), and stopped at Thai Basil (ten minute wait). The James Joyce looks sort of empty, and by this point, we've wasted more than half an hour of our parking meter, so we want something quick. If we had known what was coming next, we would all have gotten shwarmas from Ghazale's.

They seat us quick at the Joyce, it being less than half full. We ordered what we thought would be quick and easy - club sandwich, burger and fries, and fish and chips. It's an agonizing 45 minute wait before we get our food.

I specifically said no cheese and bacon on my burger. There's cheese and bacon on it. But at this point, I'm so damn hungry, I eat it quick. All I can taste is salt and charcoal. The bacon is absurdly salty, and the burger's burned to a crisp, looking a little like a briquette. Considering how long it took us to get our food in the first place, I am not going to send it back. The fries are overfried, but at least edible.

I would have left no tip, but my friends are a bunch of softies. That, and their food was ok.

Chef, author, and consultant Joyce Goldstein is a culinary hero, and she has heroic ways with matzoh balls. She suggests babying the dough, using schmaltz for chicken-y flavor, and boiling the matzoh balls for a good, long time. Try out Goldstein’s recipe for Matzoh Ball Soup.