Sunday, 12 May 2013

I
think that aside from Christmas, Mother’s Day is the other holiday when it can be difficult for women with fertility issues. It’s best to avoid reading your
former high school classmates’ Facebook status updates about their children
giving them Mother’s Day cards, flowers or breakfast in bed. It almost seemed
like there is a competition for the “aaawww, how sweet” factor. It started getting depressing. For me, yes. Not to them, of course.

I thought it best to be kick-ass about the situation. SO I wrote this as my status update:

I
think that as a society we should seriously reconsider our definition of
motherhood to include all women who have nurtured us and cared for us. They may
not have their own children but they have conceived many ideas and thoughts
that made a difference in our lives. They have given birth to beautiful works
of art. Their kindness and spirit gave birth to our new and renewed selves. So
as I think of my own Nanay (mother), I also think of the many important
and childless women in my life, Aunt Anne, Aunt Flor, my cousin Myrna, my former
teachers –Ms. Ba-ad, Ms. Abellon, Ms. Esmero, the nuns in
my school – Sr. Myrna, Sr. Julia, Sr. Godfreda. I say to you: Happy Mother's
Day! You have contributed to the woman I am today.

Friends
and former students sent greetings to me which was reassuring. Just as I
was preparing to write this journal, I got a heartwarming message from my 16-year old
stepdaughter.

Just
wanted to say happy Mother's Day!You
truly are an inspirational person, with your free spirit, thoughtfulness,
warmness and creativity! You don't have to give birth to someone to be a mother
for sure because you give me so much guidance and more! And you don't have to
fit the role of a stereotypical mother either! Just keep being you and that's
enough for me.