Grief & Loss

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TeacherMom wrote:

At 10.2 weeks. I went in to my Doctor's office on December 13th with abdominal pain and bleeding. By the time I saw the doctor, I was passing mucous, clumps and more bright blood. Had transnational ultrasound. Doctor said my body had dissolved baby. That my yolk sac was at cervix and I was dilated. I was having contractions. They told me my body was ready to pass the miscarried materials or I could go in for a D and C. I chose natural route and took remainder of the week off work.

I bled and passed a lot of material. I had a mess for 10 days. Then, I went without a pad for two solid days.

Yesterday, evening I felt a POP, JUST LIKE when my water broke with my dear daughter. And suddenly I am gushing blood and clots.

I call after hours Doctor and am told if it continues for three hours to go to ER. It did, I did. Local ER ran blood work, did pelvic exam, and both types of ultrasound. Meanwhile, I bled everywhere they took me. They decide I had matter still remaining and needed a D and C; except the local hospital doesn't perform them. They want to transport me. I ask to drive and get permission. I drive 55 minutes to the hospital where I delivered. They give me a doctor who works with mine.

She does a pelvic exam, at which point she tells me I am 4 cm dilated and she can see stuff. She gets tongs and pulls out my placenta and other matter. Then gives me the dissolving pills which cause contractions. I lay around waiting on my body to pass the material. She felt that the matter was all out; said no D and C necessary. My cervix closed. I am to spend two more weeks bleeding and then take a pregnancy test. It needs to read negative... If it is positive, I have to go back in.

I feel like I am on a emotional roller coaster. I was starting to heal/ accept my loss. I feel very confused now. So many questions.

Its not good. Bodies dont behave. Im waiting for mine to do its job with dead baby in situ. For you I think it sounds done now. Wait to heal and wait for cycle to restart. Wishing you the best of luck moving on.

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