Don’t Speak

I know what you’re thinking… That’s kind of an ironic title for a blogger with an ability to overshare just about anything and everything. I have always been drawn to bloggers who are authentic, open and vulnerable. Writers who put their whole heart into their writing, whose words move me to laughter or tears, whose stories resonate deep within my soul, and whose honesty makes me realise I am not alone. Yet here am I, writing a blog titled Don’t Speak, when I have so much to say.

Don’t speak. Don’t say. Don’t post. Don’t share.

My heart is full to overflowing, my head is filled with awe and wonder, my spirit is soaring. Yet I can’t share why. As a chronic over-communicator, keeping schtum practically kills me, yet it is not for my own benefit, but for that of my family.

It is for this reason that I haven’t blogged in months, not because I have nothing to say, but I don’t know what I can say. Close friends and family know our story, and God’s evident hand in it, and I am eternally grateful for their love, prayers and support over this past year or so. But as the year has gone by I have become more and more aware of the need to protect my little family and the only way I know how to not share too much is to not share at all.

So where does this leave my blog? I would love nothing more than to write from the overflow of my heart, share my experiences and give testimony to God’s goodness and grace, but I feel an overwhelming sense in my spirit to hit pause and save this for another time. This story is only just beginning, and as glorifying to God as it is, there are yet more chapters to write, and perhaps they will indeed unfold into one of the greatest stories I have ever told.

While I wait on God to see where He takes me next in terms of my personal writing, I am just so happy to breathe in my babies and breathe out gratitude for the blessings that God has bestowed upon me. As a momma of three, I can safely say that my children have never been higher on my priority list, and I am so in awe of these precious lives that I am privileged to watch over.

So for now, I won’t speak, I won’t say, I won’t post, I won’t share.

I will just be.

R x

Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger ~ James 1:19