Social Movement: They have their inception in the condition of unrest, and derive their motive power on one hand from dissatisfaction with the current form of life, and on the other hand, from wishes and hopes for a new scheme or system of living. - Herbert Blumer

Filtering by Category: Well-Being

This year, I'm dreaming of a world without violence. One where we don't live with the understanding that at any moment, any person, could potentially choose to hurt us for their gain.

Sometimes, family members or close family friends choose to hurt us. Holidays can increase anxiety especially for survivors of family violence. We may have to sit at a dinner table with an individual who causes conflict in our souls since we wanted them to love and protect us but instead they chose to abuse and violate us.

We each react in different ways. We may sit there in silence, be avoidant, or feel like we are on auto-pilot simply so we can get through the day. For some unknown reason, we may get upset or lash out. We may feel sick, unable to sleep, or that our insides are building up to a panic attack just thinking about being in the same room. These are all normal reactions to the abnormal experience. Once we understand what's going on, we can be more aware of our physical and emotional responses and how to work with them rather against.

3 tips on surviving the holidays:

1. Know yourself- try to be in tune with how you are feeling physically and emotionally. Possibly write down when you have strong, or lack, emotions. Write down what was happening right before and see if there is a pattern. Understand what makes you feel safe and loved. Understand what makes you feel like there is the possibility that someone will endanger or hurt you.

2. Set boundaries- once you know how certain interactions may impact you, think of healthy ways to deal with them. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. You do not owe it to anyone to make them happy especially if this means sacrificing your own safety, betraying your intuition. As awkward or anxiety filled it may feel, saying no to certain activities is your right. Are people talking inappropriately about something? Maybe say something simple like "not cool" and suggest a different topic of conversation. Maybe their response will be one of confusion since they aren't used to you standing up for yourself. Setting boundaries may be difficult when we are used to letting people walk all over us. Time to take the first step of setting expectations of how you will let others interact with you.

3. Reach out- some days are rougher than others. A simple comment may trigger a deep hollowness and the watering of eyes. If possible, talk to someone you trust beforehand and ask them to take note of simple ways to support you. Identify a word or a touch on the elbow that means you need a moment out of the room. Take a break and breathe. Your trusted person will also need to practice self-care as they support you. Asking for support is not selfish. If you feel more comfortable talking to someone anonymously, check out the hotline on Rainn.org - the people on the other end are trained to give you support, information, or a referral.

Maybe someday our dream of a world without violence will become a reality. For those of us who have experienced violence, we can hold on to the comfort that we are not alone in our struggles. We choose to love and support each other along the way- especially this holiday season.

This is my Day of Resilience. On November 5/6 in 2010, an individual chose to change a consensual interaction into one of selfish violence. That single interaction lead to a year and a half of seeking legal justice and many years of introspection building up to where I am now.

This is the first Day of Resilience where my book “One of Us: Sex, Violence, Injustice. Resilience, Love, Hope” detailing the assault and life afterwards is publicly available on Amazon. I am thankful for the conversations of solidarity with others that this has sparked. I am thankful for the vulnerable conversations of pushing forward and encouraging each other. I am thankful for the ripple effect and how some acts of kindness or speaking out truly do make a huge difference in the lives of individuals and in our communities.

I have a request. I want you to be a part of the ripple effect.

In the past few months, we have seen an increase of public awareness around the continuum of violence from sexual harassment to groping, aggravated sexual assault to rape. Will you help share my story in support of individuals who have experienced these things and to say that you will not tolerate individuals who disrespect and violate others? Below are things you can do:

Buy a copy of my book. Go to the header of this page or directly to Amazon and order a book. Buy a copy for a friend. Buy a copy for a younger sibling in college. Buy a couple of copies and give them to your local rape crisis center. Let me know and I’ll try to send you a “You are Beautiful. You are Good. You are Loved.” postcard.

Tell the world how much you love my book. Post about “One of Us” on facebook and Instagram. Add whatever hashtags you want and tag @oneofusmovement or @SandiAlaska. Write an article about “One of Us” for your local newspaper or for an online blog that you love. Take an awesome photo of you and the book and post it everywhere you can.

Review “One of Us”. We are up on Amazon and Goodreads. This doesn’t have to be a high-pressure thing. A simple sentence with 5 stars preferably. The more reviews, the better the chance that someone else will randomly find “One of Us” online and then their life will be changed forever.

Invite me to your artsy events. I’ll do a reading and hopefully a grown man will cry. I’ve only heard of this happening and haven’t seen it in real life. Yet. My life is still a bit hectic with school but I’ll make the time since I believe in community and sharing struggles and hope together. I’ll bring books and a sweet photo backdrop. Check out the One of Us Movement facebook page and the soft launch photos to get a taste of what I’m talking about.

Nominate “One of Us” to be your next book club book. If you haven’t heard, book clubs are a great way to get friends together to read books, but more likely, drink wine. You’ll need the wine with “One of Us”. If you have a decent size group, I can get you a discount on the books. I’ll have them shipped directly from the warehouse to your front porch. “One of Us” is about solidarity and encouraging each other. Make friends and start a book club if needed.

Share this post with everyone you know. I have a limited amount of people that I can reach. You have hundreds of friends on here that only you can impact. You are their only hope in learning about “One of Us”. They need you. I need you.

I want to thank you for loving me through the shenanigans whether we’ve known each other since elementary school in Alaska or more recently while I finish up grad school here in Baltimore. Please know that I appreciate you.

Speaking of, in this photo, I have the copy of “One of Us” where people at the soft launch wrote little notes for me. You make me smile. Thank you for helping me feel again and thank you for loving me. I am exactly where I need to be in life right now and I couldn’t have done this without you.

"An individual can decrease the severity of their PTSD but never completely get rid of it." - Dr. Belcher, today in psychopathology.

Struggles. Since October of 2016, life has been a bit rough. On top of that, maybe taking classes analyzing mass violence as well as intimate partner violence wasn't the best for my mental health. (Not letting this negatively impact life, so no worries.)

Current symptoms:-avoidant of certain situations (potentially hostile one; changing the channel when certain subjects are brought up; skipping over potentially overwhelming social media statuses).-dazing off when reading things or being reminded of past experiences (either my own or secondary from the individuals I've worked with).-extreme frustration and irritability when individuals in class make a simplified conclusion about very complex subjects that hit close to home.-high stress with phone numbers that are unknown (has to do with defense lawyers during trial prep).

Treatment:- Continue taking Wellbrutin.- All the other things we talk about in class. I need to be more diligent about actually taking care of myself.- Keeping it real.

Current mood:-It's all gonna be okay.

Today, I want to show extra love to all of my fellow resilient people who may be struggling with PTSD. Let us all find healthy ways to decrease the severity. Let us keep close the individuals in our lives that are patient and love us no matter what.