Tories welcome minority status for Corniche people

The Tory faithful have welcomed the ‘long overdue’ news that Corniche people are to be recognised and protected as a national minority, thus guaranteeing the human rights of the super-rich. This, they said, should also send a clear message to the rest of the country that it is not enough to simply be ‘ quite well-off’ any more.

‘Corniche people have a proud and distinct identity that sets them apart from the rest of the country,’ said David Cameron. ‘The Corniche are easily identifiable by their distinctive accent, their Citigroup credit cards and the massive amount of land they own. Their status deserves to be protected – after all, there are only a few thousand of them and they’ve been protecting the Conservative party’s status for centuries.’