I have everyones orders now so I can proceed (DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE ORDERS. YOU ARE TOO LATE) Only one teams turn posted for now, I'll post more in the morning.

THE BRITANNIAN LEAGUE

Undetered (despite several hints lol) Captain Alexandria attempts to fix the Electric Guitar... with a spanner and an arc welder... is so an arc welder... shurup!

The Zombie assault continues.

The Britannian fire power takes it's toll.

The bases Twin Ion Cannon open fire.

Bulls Eye! ZMJ doesn't even flinch...

The Steam Gatling defies the odds and fires instead of blowing up, yet again. The gunner sprays a hail of bullets at the attacking Daemons and although three hits are caused over a 3" radius the Daemons armour holds out. The Britannian Trooper has better luck and picks off a Daemon with another head shot.

Seeing his companions in danger the Irregular Trooper who had found a rocket last turn decides to make the ultimate sacrafice.

He takes out a Daemon completely and sends another one spinning through the air to land in a crater

The brave trooper comes to rest in a bucket... I mean corner. Ewww!

The Daemons or parts there of land all over the place. The Daemon Prince Dragosani takes it well.

Despite her best intentions the Captain makes and arse of the Guitar and makes another useless item instead. Ah well, if she can't find a use for this then it's back to the drawing board. *sigh!*

Note: Subsequent factions copypasta'd for easy re-reading

Warhead wrote:THE VOL

The bases safety features and emergency valves soon kick in after Leonidus chopped through one of the main fuel lines. The gout of flame dwindles, and although some fires are still burning, most go out, allowing some of the VOL to by-pass them into the Main Landing Pad.

The VOL advance on two fronts, One Squad lead by Leonidus and the other with his second and the crazed Heavy Flamers dude.

Unable to reach their main objective the VOL dispatch two Zombies with deadly accuracy.

The Heavy Flamer pours napalm death into the new arrivals. Just look at them burn!

The rest of the Squad save their shots for when the Zombie try to rush them.

Warhead wrote:THE POST APOC SURVIVORS

In light of the appearance of an unknown band of Peaches the Survivors take some precautions.

The Medic legs it, for the good of the team, obviously. He's sort of following orders.

At the other side of the compound Hunter and Borstal the Maniac realise there are no targets yet. They prepare for the Daemon charge, drawing melee weapons and taking aim. Blitzen keeps low trying to reach a perfect crossfire position.

MaD mAx-SaM, who never runs out of weapons, makes a wish (Heroic Feat). As if by magic an ACME Rocket Arrow appears.

However, material wishes can't make your aim any better and he fluffs it, falling a good 2" short. He killed a tree though.

Thankfully the Assassin Droid calculates the danger and takes Mad-Max-Sam's lead in targeting the still moving Ammo Tractor. His aim is not off.

Rocket Girl fires off one of her precious rockets at ZMJ, fingers crossed folks!

ZMJ is undamaged by the attack but two undead are blown apart in the explosion.

Dragosani, the Daemon Prince, goes after the Steam Gatling Gun. He nimbly leaps up onto the wall arch in an effort to drop down on his target.

He lands on the back of the machine and starts hacking at the gunners skull with glee.

After suitably hacking the skull Dragosani then removes the operators head with backbone and brainstem attached. Calling on his Daemonic Powers over mortal blood he takes control of the body like a grizzly puppet-master. The steering wheel's just for handling corners.

The Britannian Soldier is contemptuously dispatched with a sweep of the Daemons Power Blade.

A Daemonic Spear suffers a critical failure and gets stuck, embedded in the wall.

The Daemon who threw it looks puzzled at his hand, the spear was supposed to return to it. Fortunately his target is killed by another excellent shot from the Lightning Bow.

Blaster and Daemonic fire criss-cross over the Landing Pad in a deadly exchange.

The Survivors, outnumbered are caught in a flurry of beams. Although they managed to cause two hits on two Daemons they didn't manage to get through the Daemonic Armour. Unfortunately soon after Hunter is killed outright and Borstal gains a wound (he can take three wounds total before falling unconscious)

The beam ripped through the Maniac destroying his Auto-Blaster and a Frag Grenade, fortunately without it detonating.

THAT'S IT FOR TONIGHT AS I'M TOO DRUNK TO GET THE PHOTO'S IN THE CORRECT ORDER OR TO USE EDIT PROPERLY. BESIDES, I HAVE GUESTS OVER. MORE TOMORROW.

Warhead wrote:Right, enough of the 18th Century guide to shrapnel pish...

THE BITCHES

The Bitches fall back to the blue buildings roof. The unarmed Necromancer doesn't stand a chance and is easily taken care of by the two Man Bitches.

Those that can, take up position overlooking the Creeper. The others face the newly arrived Red Baron De'ath's Horde.

The Bitches with ranged weapons open fire.

Only two of the Undead Knights fall. Prudently the other Bitches hold their fire for the inevitable charge.

One of the Man Bitches rolls a fumble and falls off the wall, ouch... he's alive but stunned so can't move next turn. The others fair just as badly. Out of the three hits not one of them exceeds the Creepers or even the undeads armour.

The Bitches are left holed up in a defensive position, unable or unwilling to move.

Warhead wrote:THE ASSYRIAN EMPIRE

The Captain discards his Auto-Pistol and grabs the fallen troopers heavy laser.

The Trooper carrying the Computer Core makes it to the safety of the hanger.

A Trooper and the Squadron Leader manage to man-handle a Bomb. They take care to place it just so...

before giving it a send off in the right direction.

Right on the Money.

The Trooper takes the shot, and it's good!

It took me ages to get them like this, so you're getting three pictures of the same thing, just shut up and lump it, I don't care.

Impressive Firepower! Six Heavy Rifle attacks blaze a massed volley at the Creeper. Laser shots sizzle and burn against the Creepers armour but nothing seems to penetrate.

The Trooper with the Immortal-Tech Portable Rocket Launcher however managed to point it in the right way, he nearly burns the Captain with the backblast. Once it's fired it's discarded and can't be reloaded.

But it's the shot that counts, scratch one more Creeper!

The Trooper with the Heavy Bolter and his squad mate take up flank position and lay down suppressive fire on the undead to try and keep them back.

Three more Undead succumb to the Assyrian attack.

@Natalya: There, I hope that helps you work out where the fuck they are.

I'll probably be too busy to post stuff now but I may get a chance when the wife's watching one of her drama's (puke) on Saturnalia night, you never know. In any case, I hope you have enjoyed it so far and have a Great Saturnalia guys and I'll get the rest posted in the next few days.

Warhead wrote:I'm having some seriously annoying problems with my Photobucket account just now. They have change their Upload features and I can no longer Bulk Upload but have to sit and fuck about with each individual picture. Worse, no matter what I try I can't attach any images by Direct Link for some reason. When I click on the Link it states it's copied and then when I try to paste, it isn't there. Now I have to actually copy the link, meaning even more arsing about. I can do it all but it now takes that much more time and effort.

Anyone got any ideas before I email them a hate mail rant of apocalyptic proportions?

Anyway...

THE PEACH PIRATES

The Peach Pirates shift position following their own agenda, what ever it may be. No shooting takes place and they avoid the Survivors awaiting reaction fire.

Warhead wrote:I can no longer use the Edit feature on Photobucket either, something about Adobe Flash 9 or some shit like that. Don't they understand I'm running a computer with less than 3GB of free space on the hard drive, I can't afford to download frivolous shit like this. The fucks!

Anyway, pressing on without the editing.

NEW TEAM HAS ENTERED PLAYSECRET FACTION MAGIC SOAP

Is it a bird?..

Is it a plane?..

No it's Maniac Drop Pod Suprise, the suprise is...

there isn't a drop pod and unlike here, they are rarely on target.

Elite Immortals DO however get their own drop pod.

+++++++THE IMMORTALS HAVE ARRIVED!!!+++++++

Warhead wrote:AT LONG LAST THE MANLY MEN!!!

Manly Santa and the Manly Men each take a Swig of what they think is another barrel of Warhead Beer, only to find it's a barrel of Confiscated Cheap'N'FuKin'Nasty" Maniac beer. Wah-hoooo! Instantly pissed on pure rage they attack the VOL.

Those unable to leap out the windows open fire.

The Mighty Ombri and a Manly Man ambush the advancing VOL from above.

Reaction fire is just absorbed by the Manly Men's toughness. AAAARRRGH!

Shots blast into the VOL, but their serious armour proves superior and no damage is taken, even when a Manly Man critical fumbles a shot that strikes the Tough Ombrie in the head. VOL reaction fire kills one of the Manly Men.

The First to die is a Manly Man who fearlessly/foolishly takes on Commander Leonidus who managed to save himself from harm with the help of his shield and armour while practically exploding the Manly Man in a shower of gore and slashing OTC.

The VOL trooper is torn apart in a spray of arterial blood as the Tough Ombrie shows that VOL armour is no match for an OTC at your side.

Warhead wrote:THE ARMY OF DARKNESS

The few animated undead in front of the Assyrians try to close the distance, but fail. Their Captain finds a rocket, a lucky find. He then opens fire with his Cyborg Arm but misses the Assyrians.

A Man Bitch dies from a rapid Fire Auto-Blaster weilding Undead.

The last Creeper opens fire on the Lil-Bitches and their Mistress. Two Lil-Bitches die but the Mistress proves too tough.

Diverted by the Bitches attack, the Red Barons Undead Horde attack the Bitches. Arrows slash into the Bitches killing two more Lil-Bitches.

One of the gates begins to topple as the undead manage to use still saws to take it out. The Gate is now open. The Britannian Assault Trooper fell but is unharmed and can act next turn normally.

The undead assault proceeds, they avoid the well defended gate and climb the sides. The Britannian Assault Troops are beginning to be over run. One Undead is decapitated but the rest are unharmed, it's proving harder to beat undead in close combat.

ZMJ plucks a Britannian defender off the wall with his acquired scythe.

Warhead wrote:END PHASE

More Undead arrive from the city.

And even more undead. A party of Trainee Chefs lead by the Undead Wight, the dreaded Gordon Ramsey.

Yet another wave of The Red Barons undead Horde arrive looking for trouble.

Warhead wrote:NEW FACTION ACTIVATED...

THE TIME TRAVELLING SUPER JEWS

Capt. Zipps has entered the game.

Overwatch...

NOW ACCEPTING ORDERS FOR TURN 5

Warhead wrote:

The Proto-Fig Reinforcements also arrive... or will, really soon.

++++++++++EGO TABLE OF BOASTING RIGHTS++++++++++

The Britannian League:

KIA: 7KILLS: 16

The Post Apoc Survivors

KIA: 1KILLS: 6

The Bitches

KIA: 6KILLS: 6

Daemons

KIA: 4KILLS: 5

The Manly Men

KIA: 2KILLS: 8

The VOL:

KIA: 1KILLS: 8

The Assyrians

KIA: 1KILLS: 14 + 2 CreepersOBJECTIVE: Computer Core

The Peach Pirates

KIA: 0Kills: 0

The Immortal Family

KIA: 0Kills: 0

Time Travelling Super Jews

KIA: 0Kills: 0

Proto-Figs

KIA: 0KILLS: One hundred billion trillion zillion dollars

Last edited by Warhead on Thu May 06, 2010 4:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

"some people are like slinkies there really good for nothing, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs""Triangalism! What's the fuckin' point!"How's that compression ratio?

warman45 wrote:OMG! 18th century artillery! FIRE THE GRAPE SHOT (grape shot is essentially a giant shotgun-like spray that kills everything in a cone)

it wouldn't kill everything, it would wound and maim but it isn't an instant kill.
A head shot from a cannon... that would be funny.

"some people are like slinkies there really good for nothing, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs""Triangalism! What's the fuckin' point!"How's that compression ratio?

The Grape shot works like a shotgun but the shot is huge, some were musket ball to golf ball size. It would kill a human pretty well. Skeletons don't have all the flesh and organs but the bones would shatter/sphincter nicely if hit.

The bases safety features and emergency valves soon kick in after Leonidus chopped through one of the main fuel lines. The gout of flame dwindles, and although some fires are still burning, most go out, allowing some of the VOL to by-pass them into the Main Landing Pad.

The VOL advance on two fronts, One Squad lead by Leonidus and the other with his second and the crazed Heavy Flamers dude.

Unable to reach their main objective the VOL dispatch two Zombies with deadly accuracy.

The Heavy Flamer pours napalm death into the new arrivals. Just look at them burn!

The rest of the Squad save their shots for when the Zombie try to rush them.

No, The British Empire was this big group of countries ruled by a tiny little island ON THE OTHER SIDE OF the Atlantic called Britain. Queen Victoria, heard of her? She was the Empress of the British Empire.