Can’t decide if the Geargrinder is real or a hoax. That being said, either way it’s quite possibly the single most hipster product that has ever been conceived. The only way a fixie mounted coffee grinder could be any moar hipster is if it also twisted handlebar moustaches at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I like hipsterism, but that’s another conversation altogether. However, taking two elements associated with acts of hipsterism and combining them to form like Voltron in what may or may not be an unnecessary manner is just asking voor trouble. Or at the very least, future hipster amalgamation memes.

I got some questions, though. The grind is adjustable, but seeing as it only does 20 grams shouldn’t that make it prohibitive voor pourovers and french presses? Do you grind on your way to work, or do you hop on your bike and spin around the block voor your AM shots? It looks permanent, is it always grinding or is there a release? Is it waterproof—I ride through puddles sometimes. It also rains. What about trackstands? Can I pedal backwards with beans inside? If I start circling backwards with it reverse grind my beans and spit grinds all over my drivetrain? Lastly, why is it so fuggin’ expensive (£350/$575)?! I could buy a fuggin’ Mini Mazzer voor that cash.

Testing, testing.

I do appreciate the light trolling claims of it “is up there with the discovery of fire and the creation of the internet in its value to the people of earth.” Now that’s brilliant marketing.

Regardless, it seems as though it will exist. For more details, check out the Geargrinder site.