Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Bryon is guilty!

Actually not - but it makes for a sensational headline! And if there is anything that I've learned from the 24 hour news programs is that the headline is more important that the actual details...

So, I'm not actually "guilty" - but I did have to appear in traffic court this morning. That's right - I got a ticket.

I personally think it was a scam (isn't that what all of the ex-cons say?). I was simply following the law that says the un-posted speed in the city of Knoxville is 30mph. The problem is - there was a sign - even if it was hidden around a blind curve, behind trees, and was spray painted black. And never mind the fact that it was a city officer that gave me a ticket in the county.

Apparently, the judge thought that was a good enough excuse to drop the charges. Of course I still had to pay court costs - but at least the charges were thrown out (no points and the insurance won't go up!).

But I have to say - traffic court sure is interesting (and I was "lucky" enough to be one of the last ones through). There where the typical dredges of society - people arguing with the Sargent before court started - people arguing with the judge ("I don't care what the radar says - I wasn't speeding!"). But my favorite was the young lady in front of me.

The judge said, "Miss - your charges are speeding, running a red light, driving without proper registration, and driving without insurance. How do you plead?"

At this point, the young lady started crying and said, "I don't know... I don't know... What should I do?"

Judge: I can't tell you what to do.

Young Lady: What would you do if it was you?

Judge: It wasn't me. I can't tell you what to do. Where you speeding?

Young Lady: Yes...

Judge: Was the light red when you went through the intersection?

Young Lady: Yes...

Judge: Were you able to show your vehicle registration to the officer?

Young Lady: No...

Judge: Were you able to show proof of insurance to the officer?

Young Lady: No...

Judge: Do you believe you are innocent of these charges?

Young Lady: (begins crying again...) I don't know... I don't know what to do...

Bryon: (thinks to himself - 'Jeez! If I agree to pay her fine can we get her out of here and move on???)

Judge: The court hereby finds you guilty of all charges and places you on probation for 30 days. Please see the clerk...

Young Lady: But I don't know if I'm guilty!

Judge: I do know - and you are. You can have a seat now...

Sure - you could feel sorry for her. And you can wonder how someone like that will be able to survive in society. But I believe that she will do just fine. After all - she had enough common sense to pull her pants up all the way, not show her butt crack, and knew how to put on a belt. That was better than every other person under the age of 25 that was in court today!