Stephanie Seymour Has No Excuse for See-Through Dress

You heard it here first, folks -- the see-through red carpet dress has officially jumped the shark. It's not new, it's certainly not novel, and there's definitely no excuse for it anymore. Stephanie Seymour is the latest celebrity to walk the red carpet in an invisible dress, and frankly, I've had it up to HERE. Steph? Hey! Knock it off.

If you are famous enough to be photographed on a step and repeat, then you are famous enough to have someone around you, be it a stylist or a manager with half a brain, to say hey, let's see if I take a picture of you with a flash, if your breasts and vagina are visible.

And, you know, if your private parts are, in fact, conspicuous, I would think that you'd want to do something to make sure that they weren't. And if the desired effect is that you look "accidentally" naked, then I have no words besides "stop it."

It's starting to come across as pathetic. I mean, this Melody Thornton thing was just embarrassing. I guess she deserves some credit for going balls, er, breasts to the wall here and just basically walking around in the nude, but to me, there's nothing less sexy than desperation.

So allow me to offer up my services. For a small fee I will come to your celebrity home or hotel room and I will take pictures of you with a camera that has a powerful flash. Then, using my incredible eyes, I will discern whether or not I can see your tatas or your hooha. If I can, you put on some underwear. If I can't, we'll all take a shot of tequila to celebrate your being able to dress yourself. I'm just that nice.