Women are describing Egg Freezing as…

Allie’s Egg Freezing Story

In 2004 my then husband informed me that he wasn’t sure if, after all, he wanted children, and if he did, he wanted to wait until he was 40. At that time, I was 32. A host of factors led to our divorce and by then I was 33. I had been very clear with him that I wanted children, and after the divorce, I felt pressure toward being with someone that also wanted children. After an unsuccessful rebound relationship, I wanted to take the pressure off myself of finding Mr. Right right away, and I think I initially saw an online ad that led me to explore egg freezing.

I investigated several clinics and chose West Coast Fertility Center. By then I was 35 years old approaching 36. I went through the procedure, paying partially up front and taking out a medical loan for the rest. Had I known then what I know now, I most likely would have gone through egg retrieval up to 2 more times, had I been able to afford or find a way to afford it. Also, going into the procedure, I learned that I did a lot of “no-no’s”–was under tremendous stress from my job, worked out a lot, ate chocolate and caffeine–all things that common internet knowledge says may lead to reduced amount of eggs during egg retrieval. From my one retrieval, I ended up with 5 viable eggs and 5 immature eggs.

I do have to say that freezing my eggs took a lot of pressure off me. I was able to enjoy dating and getting to know men as potential friends first, rather than scouting them immediately to be “the one.” Yeah, the shots were a pain, but the procedure itself is now a distant memory and not anything exceptional to have to recall.

In 2008 I met the man who would, a year later, become my second (and hopefully last and only!) husband! He was open to having more children (he had two!) – only one drawback – he had had a vasectomy years before.

A series of job ups and downs had us putting off attempting children for two more years, and by then I was 39. I visited a fertility clinic in Long Island, NY where we were living at the time only to be told by a fertility doctor there that I should forget my frozen eggs and start over–and at an estimate of $30k! He had me hysterical and I called West Coast Fertility and Dr. Diaz was able to calm me down. Dr. Diaz pointed out that different clinics have different approaches and that my frozen eggs were still a very valid and viable option.

We moved on from this and finally found a superior option for a masterful vasectomy reversal for my husband-in Dusseldorf, Germany (cheaper and better than what we could afford in the US), and by 2011 we were trying “naturally” first to get pregnant.

Fast forward, my fertility profile was more or less as average as average could be for a woman my age; I was also in great health, took good care of myself…just my eggs were now old.

We decided to use my frozen eggs. I was very, very nervous about this. Even though in the years since my freezing technology had improved and my immature eggs were also now viable, I most likely only had one shot with my own eggs. I was devastated to learn that I only had once chance, but, soldiered on.

Work obligations overseas kept me from perfecting the medication protocol developed for me by Dr. Diaz, and we shuttled info back and forth from 2012 – 2014. Finally, finally, it looked like we had a winning cocktail of hormones for me and that I would be in the US and able to go to my satellite fertility clinic on the East Coast where I now lived.

Of course I was nervous. My husband could not come with me to California for the transfer, but prior to that, we had taken a couple of weeks of vacation together, and, I still had a lot of friends in SoCal. So, my trip was more like a vacation.

This time, I was just trying to relax. Previously, I had made sure I ate all organic prior. This time I avoided meat that I didn’t know. I had been on high quality folate supplements since October 2013 as well as a prenatal. I drank my last alcohol a week or so before my transfer. I abstained from caffeine and chocolate.

The day of the transfer in late Janaury 2014 I was happy until I got into the OR. Dr. Diaz had done a mock trial a few days before so I knew what to expect, but I was sad that in the end I only had two embryos to transfer–what if neither of them took?

I had expected to have more energy after the transfer but I really did just feel like resting and sleeping the couple of days afterwards. Although I flew home three days after my transfer, my first full day home, I slept all day.

I did my best during the two week wait to stay occupied. I was lucky in that friends had offered me their complete embryos should mine not take, but even so, that only somewhat lessened my fear the day I went for the blood test. I did not test early. I waited the full two weeks.

I couldn’t believe it when Maria at Dr. Diaz’s office called me later to say my numbers were very good. I remained hopeful the next week that both embryos had taken, but in the end, I remained well within the bell curve for my age and situation–with a 1 out of 2 remaining!

I have just entered my 9th week of pregnancy. I have had very little nausea and find that on alternating days for the last week I have been very sleepy. And, for some reason, me, an avid eater of greens of all sorts can’t bear to think of eating anything green and I also sort of have to trick myself now into drinking water. I find I wake up hungry by 4 a.m. so I have to keep a snack with me in the bedroom. I don’t want water out of glasses, but for some reason, the cold metal water bottle I have does the trick!

I know that if something goes wrong from here on out, it is not due to anything done of the part of Dr. Diaz. Their clinic was caring and professional with me all of the way, and I was actually surprised and comforted by their warmth while I was there. We had been on quite a journey together.

My one regret is that I hadn’t frozen more eggs when I was 35. I hadn’t planned to wait until 42 to use my eggs, but that is what life threw at me. I am very grateful for getting this far with a pregnancy, and like I said, if I had known then what I know now, I would have done more cycles.

Best of Luck,

Allie

Elaine’s Egg Freezing Story

I’ve always known that I’ve wanted to have a family. In fact, I don’t ever remember a time when this desire to have children hasn’t been crystal clear. However, life is full of many surprising, beautiful and challenging twists and turns. It certainly hasn’t been the linear path that I’d imagined as a little girl; grade school, middle school, high school, college, followed by a job, marriage, and ultimately a family. Instead, I chose to pursue a higher education and a life in the performing arts.

In no way do I regret the choice to pursue my passions but I also recognize that with these pursuits came certain sacrifices that put creating a family of my own on the back burner as I struggled to find stability within the tenuous career of dance. As a college student, I remember vividly observing some of my female dance professors attempting to have children in their forties and all the self doubt and pain that came along with them being challenged with issues of fertility. At the time, I didn’t understand how their sense of value and womanhood was tethered to how easily they could conceive, as these were successful and amazing women that I deeply respected. Now, at age 40, I have a deep compassion and understanding for these women, and women in general, that I couldn’t connect to as my 20 year old self.

Egg freezing was definitely not something I’d ever heard about or even considered. I was in a loving relationship that I’d thought would lead to marriage and ultimately result in having a family. In addition to being a dancer, I’m a yoga and qigong instructor with a strong philosophy to keep my mind and body as clean and healthy as possible, so the intervention of technology and medication was a big deterrent. However, life doesn’t always go as planned.

The reality was that my partner was 10 years younger and not ready to have a family. This nearly impossible situation was compounded by the fact that his parents strongly disapproved of our relationship and made it very clear about how they felt. They lodged constant accusations that I was infertile, old looking, manipulative, a bad person, and the ruin of their family’s happiness. I was also surprised by the amount of ageism and judgment I experienced from others as well. And although I knew that the statements and criticisms from others were ridiculous, the constant bombardment of them deeply affected me.

Through this process of really having to evaluate what was truthful and most important in my life, the idea of egg freezing seemed like a pro-active and concrete solution to extend the possibility of having children later on.

Eventually my partnership ended and what I imagined for my life before had to be re-imagined. However, even in the midst of a broken heart, my desire to have children stayed steadfast. So late one night, I started to research online what the process of egg freezing was and how to go about searching for the right fertility clinic. The investigation process alone was empowering. It was as if I was claiming back my own voice that had been diminished by the fears and criticisms of others.

I knew from the initial moment that I met Dr. Diaz and his staff that I was in the right hands. Beyond the high success rates and strong science that backed them, I knew that I needed a team of people who could support me emotionally through the process. I was stepping into the unknown, had to face my deepest fears along the way, and was still reeling from a relationship lost. They were amazing and when the egg freezing procedure was finally complete, I felt a large sense of relief, gratitude, and pride knowing that I had done everything within my own reach to give myself the option of having a family in the near future.

Be able to acknowledge, discern, and disregard the opinions and judgments of others so that you can clearly and intently listen to your own heart’s desire. It really is your life and your choice and only you know what will make you happy!

Find the right staff to see you through this process. Our natural inclination might be to just seek the best results at whatever cost. However, egg freezing is indeed a long and challenging process emotionally, mentally, financially, and physically. Seek out a partnership with a clinic that you trust, treat you with dignity and compassion, have excellent communication skills, and feel have your best interests in mind.

Be kind to yourself. There is only so much we can control in this world and we are often our worst critics. Remind yourself that your value stretches much deeper and wider than the ability to have children. If you decide to proceed forward with egg freezing, do the best you can do to care for yourself within the process. Sleep well, eat well, and exercise well. And commend yourself for taking a bold and courageous step!

Katie’s Egg Freezing Story

I didn’t really think about it at all but then suddenly it was more like “why not” – I woke up one morning and it just seemed like the logical thing to do. I’m not currently in a relationship but even if I were I wouldn’t be ready to have a baby now or in the immediate future.

I would like to be a mother at some point but I don’t have an overwhelming desire to have a baby no matter what, as I hear from some women. For me it’s more about finding the right person to have a child with and wanting to witness the combination of our characteristics in that child. But the partner has to come before the child and I’m not focused on finding that partner at the moment; partly that’s because of my career but I also very much enjoy my independence and single lifestyle.

I don’t want to be in a situation in 2 or 3 or 5 years where I have found the right partner, but no longer have the option of our combined “Mini Me” because my eggs aren’t viable. So I see this as an insurance policy. If I find the right person and have a child naturally that’s great, but if there are obstacles naturally this process will hedge them.

Totally makes sense and I wish I worked there. Again it’s not necessarily a replacement for a natural birth, just an insurance policy to mitigate future obstacles. If you take the fact that you’re dealing with a potential human life out of the equation, it’s a very logical and sensible means of hedging risk, both for the company who may otherwise lose employees and for the employee who may otherwise have to give up either their career or their ability to procreate.

It was great. I live in West LA and I’m sure there are a ton of doctors who offer the same service within a five mile radius, but my OBGYN recommended Dr. Diaz because they went to school together and he is a pioneer in the field. It was a long drive but I am only going to need to make one or two additional trips down there (for the harvest and I think one key check-up); I got my bloodwork done locally in LA and Dr. Diaz is coordinating with my OBGYN so that I can do sonograms etc. in Century City (where I live and work and my OBGYN is officed).

Dr. Diaz has a great manner and is clearly very capable, and I feel like a peer as opposed to a patient, especially because of his follow ups and the correspondence with my OBGYN.

I love the idea of seeing a product of myself and my partner develop and grow and contribute to the world. So I’m not sure that I would adopt. It means so many things depending on what lens you’re seeing it through, but words that come to mind are responsibility, love, affection, development, work, pride, fear, awe, challenge…

The only reasons NOT to do it would be a) I’m not a candidate, b) expense, and c) discomfort during the process. I had an initial consultation and took the blood tests and everything came back “awesome” according to Dr. Diaz, so I’m a good candidate. I am not wealthy but at the same time I am fortunate to have disposable income, and if I do this instead of buying some new dining room chairs, going on a beach vacation, etc. that’s a tradeoff I’m very comfortable with. So the only hurdle now is the actual process with the hormones and the three shots a day, but in the grand scheme of things this is immaterial.

As described above, it just clicked one day. Not a lot of “should I or shouldn’t I”, pro and con lists etc. – it was just “maybe I should freeze my eggs”, the same way one would think “maybe I should start an IRA” – it’s an investment for the future.

I haven’t actually told them. I have told all my friends and they all think it’s a smart idea, but I don’t really talk to my parents about relationships and starting a family. I don’t want to open the door to incessant comments about why am I not married and a mother already, so we just don’t talk about it at all.

Shana’s Egg Freezing Story

I froze my eggs because after getting my MBA, I decided to open my own business. A business is going to take years to grow and there’s no telling how long it will be before it will be sustainable without 110% of my time and energy.

Freezing my eggs has enabled me to stop worrying about whether I’ll have a chance to have children before the end of my reproductive timeline.

Motherhood is something that I really want to enjoy. I don’t want to do it when I’m stressed out, time constrained or worried about money. I want the ability to wait for the right time because I think it will be the healthiest for me, my potential children, and the entire family.

I was inspired to start looking into egg freezing after a friend of mine told me that she was going to do it. I was already concerned about having time to have children before my reproductive years ended. And when she told me she was doing it, I realized that was the option that I was looking for as well.

I would advise women contemplating freezing their eggs that they have nothing to lose. However, there is a lot to process so I would do a lot of research and make sure I really understood what was involved.