Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I'm With Stupid

I brought the Loaf to her two-year check up this past week and I was struck by how many parenting "tips" the doctors tend to ever-so-casually slip in during the visit. Maybe it's a new trend in pediatrics and they're just doing it to cover all the bases, making sure that every parent of a young child has all the latest parenting info, but I can't help but feel a little offended that the doctor feels it necessary to tell me not to let my child play in a swimming pool unattended, and that I should put sunscreen on her very fair skin. And reapply it after she's been in the water. My own skin in practically translucent, so yes, I've learned how to avoid a burn. And even though my daughter counts to ten in Spanish, they want to know if she knows how to feed herself yet. Um, yeah. With a utensil? No, we just set her down next to the cat on the floor and they share a dish. She especially likes the Tender Vittles with extra gravy.

Now, I understand they want to know where she's at developmentally. But what's this test they're giving me? Of course my daughter is in a car seat. I'm aware it's not the Seventies anymore.

I can understand them asking leading questions if I have exhibited some behavior or said something untoward that would arouse suspicion as to my parental abilities, but I don't recall saying anything to the tune of "Yeah, well, she does eat lots of healthy foods during the day but we just let her have that one bottle of Dr. Pepper before bedtime".

I know our children's physicians are there to help keep our kids healthy, prevent sickness and treat illnesses, but lately I feel like I'm the one getting checked out at the pediatrician's office. And, dude, I am way too old to be seeing a pediatrician.

8 Comments:

Don't fret; bet ya anything it's a combination of legal liability and the skyrocketing cose of malpractice insurance for doctors. You know how stupid car commercials are, when they feel the "need" to put a disclaimer at the bottom "professional driver on closed course, do not attempt at home" etc., etc. Sound like it has officially spilled into the medical profession. Specifically pediatrics. Believe me, there really ARE people and parents dense enough to do stupid things under the very childlike mantra of "but you didn't tell me NOT to do it!" and smarmy lawyers at the ready, waiting in the wings. And unfortunately, as a result, perfectly intelligent, capable parents must endure condescending, seemingly obvious "tips" in order to prevent the one or two wingnut parents who let their kids fry in the sun followed by them wailing "but the doctor didn't TELL me the baby could burn!" As sad as it is, it is an unfortunate reality that there really ARE people that stupid, and even more unfortunate that they have the responsibility of protecting and guiding an innocent young life.

I have to admit that I, too, get my feathers a little ruffled when the doc reminds me of the most obvious child care. But we superb mothers just have to remember that there are slackers out that that let their little kids run about the beach unattended with no sunscreen on. I remember a frightening experience at that little lake in Dunbarten (can't remember the name) when Ana and I frantically scanned the beach looking for some kind of responsible person for this pink-fleshed little girl of no more than two years old wandering in the water alone.... chills I tell ya! We were so worried for her poor skin! I almost want to walk around in public sometimes and apply sunscreen to various strange children. We translucents have to take care of ourselves!!

Well, I also sense it's the usual course of questions now. I got them at our old office in Vermont, as well. The doctor's themselves are friendly enough, so I don't get the sense they are being antagonistic. I know they are just doing their job, But I do think they may be overstepping their bounds, and more importantly wasting my time and theirs. Yes, sadly there are parents that need to be told to put their child in a car seat and to put sunscreen on them, etc., but I half wonder if those parents are even bringing their children in for regular, preventitive checkups? It's very likely they're not.

That was a sad story about the little sunburned kid, Cat. I don't know how either of us survived not going up in flames during a time when SPF 15 hadn't even been invented yet...I was always covered in some awkward combo of sunglasses, hat and large beach moo-moo. But what else could our moms do?

Moms did try to keep their toddlers sunburn-free during the "old days". I remember one occasion when you were very young, wearing a sweatshirt and flowered hat the entire day at the beach. Little did this "stupid" mom realize that the sun reflects off the sand, boomerangs off the inside brim of the cute flowered hat and burnt half circles under your eyes. I remember like it was yesterday.

Well, Mom, you didn't have the advantage of 50+ sunblock in the form of a moist towellete... And you know how my skin is...no matter what precautions are taken, I will randomly burn SOMEWHERE and given enough time will eventually look like a pink and white zebra. I don't remember any bad burns, (except the ones I failed to prevent when I was older) but I do remember that little sweatshirt (it was green, right?) and hat combo. Very sporty!

I had to give my #2 daughter (Abby) a little corrective advice last weekend. She and my oldest went to a friend's house to help with a traditional lemonade stand. I drove by it later to check on things. I saw the big bottle of sunscreen on the selling table and felt reassured. When she came home, her face and arms were pink while the older daughter was fine."Abby, didn't you put on any of that sunblock?""No". Without remembering her exact words, it basically came down to laziness, not lack of knowledge."Well, after today, I think you'll learn to remember. There's no need for me to discipline you on this matter. In a couple of hours, your body will give you all the discipline you need."I'm starting to think I need a digital bullhorn with 100 of the top parental corrections built in as pushbutton mp3 file so that we don't have to keep repeating the obvious over and over.#1 Don't play in the street#2 Don't go under the trampoline.#3 No shoving, hitting, or kicking...#4 Stay in our yardCome to think of it, the top 100 may not be enough...

my pedi made sure to lecture ME about wearing a seat belt as it affects his patient. while i understand the logic, i dont choose to wear a belt and at age 40 youre not changing that anytime soon! defies logic, but it is my choice as an adult (just like not flossing teeth or smoking etc.)

My hubby reckons everything these days is about the 'C.Y.A. rule'- 'Cover Your Ass!' The doctors probably wants to record they have 'checked' it off and one day say 'they can't sue me, i've done my job'My fried is a nurse and she said the amount of paperwork and boxes you have to tick is ridiculous.Hubby is a copper and he said there is no more 'service' in the job, it's all about statements and paperwork! YIK