Why sometimes it’s ok to be a little selfish

Friendship is a funny thing. We pick a human, think we like them and then we just decide to hang around with them for as long as they will have us. They are there to hold our hair back when we’ve had one too many and we’re there to lend an ear when that guy she’s seeing has been an idiot again, but as great as friendship is, when does it start to become a detriment to your well being?

Last year I found myself at an all time low. I was living in a place I didn’t really like and my illness was high due to stress and worry. Yet for some reason I still found myself at the shoulder to cry on.

Whilst I would never ever turn away a friend in need, I found myself being the shoulder for everyone’s problems and whilst I tried to just lend a helpful ear and advice, I found that over time it started to make me feel worse. In truth, no one offered the same in return and so I kept my own feelings to myself and just found myself building a pile of everyone else’s problems.

Eventually something snapped and I decided enough was enough. I took a step back and realised something had to change. I packed my things and decided it was time to focus on me. I made the decision to move back to the place I loved and start to focus on my own well being.

It sounds selfish and I guess looking back it was, but it needed to happen. As much as we all love our friends and friendships are the foundation of our life, they should never be at a detriment to our own wellbeing and if you’re struggling you can’t be there to help people anyway.

I will always be there for my friends, but this year I plan to keep things at arms length and focus on what I need from life. I know this probably makes me seem entirely selfish, but sometimes in life, self love is all you need.