Monday, July 27, 2009

A rant about Women's Health magazine article advice

Yesterday I got my hair cut and was reading Women's Health magazine. Naturally I go straight to the good stuff: sex advice and what men want. I need to complain for a minute about what I read.

According to their sexperts, there are a few relationship truths that they refute as myths. They say it's ok to fake an orgasm and if you cheat on your spouse you shouldn't tell. Yeah, I disagree there. First off, if you fake an orgasm, be it once or all the time, you have now trained your man that whatever he is doing is something you like. He makes a mental note of that once and does it ALL the time and you cheat yourself. Why not train him to do something you enjoy? Albeit he enjoys this lesson more than you faking pleasure. (Same thing goes to you too guys. If you like something and your spouse has never done it, it's ok to introduce new things to them. New is always fun. So long as it doesn't involve bringing in another person to your bedroom!) Then, they say that if you confess cheating, it just causes mistrust on your spouses end while making you feel less guilty. Well here's a cold hard truth: someone who cheats on someone and feels bad about it once, will feel bad about it forever so no amount of confessions will ever make that guilt go away. While someone who has cheated a few times in a crappy relationship doesn't give a shit and will keep doing so. So confessing to being unfaithful is a good thing. Yeah, it does bring up trust issues, but it also brings up some valid questions as to why did you cheat and what lead to that? Is the relationship doomed? I mean, think about it, if you were in a bad relationship but blind to the fact it's bad, wouldn't you rather wake up to a shitty situation and move on to something potentially better than to live ignorant to the fact you're the butt end of someone else's unhappiness? And wouldn't you rather work on strengthening your relationship if it was a one time accident and do something to build a better foundation so it doesn't happen again? Maybe someone has been so used to a certain routine that when something comes in and interrupts that routine, it throws them off. Whatever the case may be, people have the right to know. If you are truly sorry, you will tell and deal with whatever consequences come with it, instead of having your unwilling spouse drag along like a little life boat should your cruise ship crash.

Another issue I had was with their what men want. They say all men look at porn; deal with it. OK, yeah, all men look at naked chicks. Whatever. But there's no reason a man in a relationship should have to look at porn. Looking at porn stimulates a man's sexual needs and a man in a relationship who looks at porn waves a red flag that there is something missing in his present relationship that causes him to need to see naked chicks. Which brings me back to the cheating point. What's the difference if someone sleeps with someone else or if someone gets off to a picture on a computer, magazine, movie, etc.? The fact of the matter is you're not with the person you should be with. Is looking at porn as bad as cheating? Depends who you ask. If you think of it in a biblical sense (thinking of doing something is just as bad as actually doing it because if you didn't have the intent to try it, you never would have thought about it), yeah, it is. Because you would get sexual gratification imagining you're with someone that's not your spouse, which is to say if that person were there in your area readily available to do you and you had the opportunity to do so, you probably would do it with them and cheat. I don't have any issues with single guys looking at porn and doing what they gotta do. I mean, granted, I feel like most men can do better than that and instead of wasting their efforts over imaginary women, could make an effort to go out and get a real woman, but alas, it's just easier to fall into traps. But by no means should a person in a relationship look at that shit.

I just have issues that magazines give such shitty advice like this. Personally, I was in a relationship that was really crappy where my ex was addicted to porn to the point it affected our relationship. After that, I said that any porn became a deal breaker. You either love me and me alone as I do with you, or you're out. People have choices in life and for magazines to tell women that it's ok to allow their men to fantasize about other women, well, shit if that don't justify a potential relationship issue that would lead to a women to seek emotional and physical solitude in another person. Guys, seriously, step it up. When you have a great woman who treats you like you're the king of her world, of the entire world, don't go fucking it up with stupid shit like looking at porn like you're some high school boy who isn't getting it. 9 times out of 10 you have a woman who is willing to do whatever shit those porno gals do and you fuck it up. And ladies, don't be idiots. If your guy isn't cutting it in bed, let him know. But you don't hafta be a bitch about it. Not everything in life is perfect. Maybe hormones or stress or other factors are affecting sex. Maybe you can do things to change it. Or maybe you can get a book or something to spice things up. Whatever. The world is full of liars and cheaters. There's no point to add one more to the pot. Most importantly, don't take shit these magazines have to heart. They're written by doctors. What does a doctor know about sex and relationships? Whatever a book tells them. The only way to truly know about things is through experience. What does your gut tell you to do? There's no law that says following your instincts is a crime.

Anyway, that's the end of my rant with poor magazine article advice. The end.