help from any women needed

Gold Member

chi-townboy: I don&#39;t know what to think. I just had a horrible experience and I need some help from you...

So I&#39;m on a 3rd date with a fellow student at college (yes, i&#39;m 19 and this is only my 3rd date...never really had much luck with girls). I was driving her home after a &#39;pretty good&#39; time (It was pretty good for me, but I don&#39;t know about her).

Before she got out of the car, we had a pretty long kiss, which was absolutely heaven. I&#39;m crazy about her and the kiss suggests to me that she feels like that towards me. The only problem is that I uncontrollably got a boner as she was kissing me. When she leaned towards me, her hand touched it and she stopped kissing me and saw it in my pants, and instantly had a disgusted look on her face. She asked me what the fuck my problem was and called me a pervert and left.

i&#39;m like in an emotional wreck right now and don&#39;t know what to do. what should I say to her to win her back? am I a loser for not being able to control myself? do girls really find it THAT offensive when they see a guy get a boner because of a kiss?

it sounds like you need to go out with a more mature/experienced girl, if she doesn&#39;t understand that a long hot kiss is going to give you an uncontrolled boner. sheesh...it&#39;s not like you have any control over that. :-(

Sounds like she is just very inexperieinced. I was the same way once upon a time, & while i&#39;ve had only two partners, I have dated alot & kissed alot. I view it as a compliment now & realize that it truely is a normal response from any male who is turned on. I now view it as &#39;having a healthy sex drive.&#39; She may be receiving info from her family/parents that this is evidence of someone who means her harm, as I was told. Gee, I don&#39;t know what to tell you about discussing it with her, and I wish I could say something.

Gold Member

A loser?
Do not say that again&#33; This young woman obvioiusly had a lot to learn. As everyone else here quite adequately said with experience she will learn that it was a sign of interest or it just did it because it could. Either way it was no need for name calling .What did she expect when she touched it? I hope we are making you feel a bit better about it all.

I had a few uncontrollable boners but I kept my gf away from that area until the time was right then I went behind her and pulled her against &#39;it&#39; hehe.

Yeah though some girls will freak out, btw I touch my gf in her crotch fairly often (its the law ) and she is ALWAYS wet, which I love and you&#39;d never catch me giving her a disgusted look or chuckin her out of bed because of it

Also a lot of girls will call any male/lad/guy a pervert even when he isn&#39;t. Getting a boner when kissing a hot girl is hardly pervy. Don&#39;t listen to her and find a new girl to worship your bownor

Gold Member

Why would she be shocked to feel it if her hand even went close to there? What was she hoping her hand would brush up against? Bizarre.

I remember a school dance in about the 8th or 9th grade. One of the more awkward guys in the class was dancing with an equally shy girl and she got close enough to feel him hard. She screamed, started crying, and ran out of the room, leaving him standing there in front of everyone. It wouldn&#39;t surprise me if he still considered that the most embarrassing moment of his life.

It seems to me that any women with a bit of experience would be offended if you DID&#39;NT have a hard-on under those circumstanses. (I&#39;m almost 42, and I still get a hard-on when kissing an attractive woman)

VerifiedGold Member

It happens, it&#39;s totally natural, and totally appropriate. I would probably be a bit embarrassed were it to &#39;come up&#39; in front of a lot of people, but if it&#39;s the two of you alone... what&#39;s the big deal? Brush it off, sometimes people are hurtful for no reason other than their own ignorance.

Gold Member

Everyone here as gave some great advice...She may seem very mature but she does not sound very sexually mature...You did nothing wrong...If you like her that much - maybe you should call her and find out what made her freak out like that and maybe point her to the internet where she can find out some info about boy/girl situations...

If getting a hard-on by kissing a woman makes you a loser, I think that all of us would be considered losers as well. Don&#39;t question yourself man, lack of confidence in yourself is not a good thing. You didn&#39;t do anything wrong, don&#39;t beat yourself up about it, and try to move on to better things. Dwelling on some girl that reacted like a jackass is just going to hurt you in the future.

Get with it, man. Make no apologies to her about the temporary petrification of your personal wood&#33; Be happy about the way your loins leapt into action&#33; Where did she think a deep kiss would lead the two of you?

Write to her or call her and try to explain how nature takes over at times and men can become aroused at seemingly innocent things. It can happen while shopping, at the beach, or in the office. To take the drama out of those awkward moments, I&#39;ve learned to throw my voice so it sounds like my dick is trying to talk it&#39;s way out of trouble. Lines like,"Hey...it&#39;s dark in here&#33; Where are we? Let me out&#33;" or "Hey, sister, what are you staring at?" can turn tension into astonishment, if not downright amusement, at least long enough to make an exit.

Dating can be a little like riding a horse. When you get thrown off, you have to pick yourself up an climb right back on, unless you&#39;re Christopher Reeve. At the very least, she&#39;ll talk about it and her friends may be little more enlightened than her...enough that they may inquire discreetly about you.

Gold Member

petite_asianbabe: I agree, I find it a compliment if a guy got a hard-on while kissing me. My boyfriend of 1 year still gets a hard-on when I kiss him, even if its not a deep kiss. Makes it worth all the effort we women put in to look fabulous&#33;

Gold Member

Holding hands can get me aroused, especially if we are just starting to see each other. It must be the anticipation. In a long term relationship, a hug and a kiss was always enough to at least start getting me aroused. Any suggestion that we were going to have sex, and I was fully aroused within seconds.

No woman has said anything bad about my erection while we were kissing, even when it was our first &#39;real&#39; kiss.

As others have mentioned, your girl was immature to expect you to totally control yourself in that situation.