Monday, October 09, 2006

Dutchy asked to see the director's cut so to speak of the last comic, and since this feels like such a lazy Thanksgiving day for me, I thought, why not?

You see, when I sit down to do the comic, I have absolutely no idea what it is going to be, so most of the process is discovering something I feel like doing. Some weeks it is easy and some weeks it is like pulling my own teeth. But as the whole thing gets finalized, well, I go through a lot of different lines and approaches, most of which don't make the cut, usually because they are really pushing the edges of taste, so they tend to be a little milder than I am capable of. And even then, I get away with the double entendre because it doesn't get picked up by the search engines since they are embedded in the image.

So, just so you can see how this works, these are some of the phrases that didn't make it to the middle panel of this week's comic. Some of these get really dirty, and frankly, I am sort of ashamed that some of these almost made it.

"I'd like to dip my biscotti in something, but it certainly isn't coffee."

"I had another coffee-related activity in mind, but I don't smell a burro in there"

"I like my coffee like I like my women: short, thick and capable of taking a lot of cream."

"Yeah, like I am going in there so you can eat my soul. Nice try."

"I've watched you drive, so I really don't think you can handle a coffee maker."

"The smell of coffee reminds me of psych ward."

"Coffee is pure concentrated evil"

"If you drink coffee, you are murdering people throughout the third world."

"I am still traumatized by that stupid foo fighter video for learning to fly"

"I am in Coffee Drinker's Anonymous. I show up at a meeting once a week to talk about my struggles not drinking coffee while imbibing large quantities of alcohol and betting on who is going to fall off the wagon first."

"Coffee makes me impotent"

"That's Mr. Hankey's swimming pool!"

"Every time I drink coffee, I wake up the next day in a strange bed."

"Only if it is in enema form... because, hey, it works for Janet Jackson."