Loretta LaRoche: What you’re wearing can only do so much for your looks

Monday

Jul 25, 2011 at 12:01 AMJul 25, 2011 at 12:57 PM

I still love eye makeup and hip fashion, but I have also come to realize that the promises retailers make on how good you’ll feel once you wear their stuff means nothing if you haven’t worked on feeling good on the inside.

Loretta LaRoche

Over the years I have bought into a myriad of products and pieces of clothing that promise to lift, tuck, flatten, erase, lengthen, lighten, remove, reduce or enhance.

I’m afraid to think about the money I’ve spent on these items, which only create illusions. I’m sure there are thousands of women like me all over the world. I have found that as I get older, the comfort and enhancement that many of these products offer often comes from not buying them.

Still, every once in a while I am seduced into finding out whether or not a certain item really does what the retailer says. I often get commercials for the Genie Bra on my computer. My imagination, which is rife with humor, started thinking of what a Genie Bra might do. Could you rub the bra and get your wishes to come true? And where does the Genie live?

Perhaps under one of the shoulder straps that the company says is wide and comfortable.

I still look for jeans that have a shape but don’t strangle your thighs, but most come up too high or are so low you could get arrested for lewd exposure. Yes, I know there are companies that have jeans they say are for all body types, and I have friends who swear by them. Maybe, just maybe, they haven’t seen a body like mine, since I can never get a pair that fit without feeling suicidal.

Makeup used to be one of my favorite things to shop for. I particularly love the eye shadows and blush, but I’ve gotten away from having to drive myself crazy trying to emulate what makeup artists do when they’re trying to show me how a certain product can open my eye more or diminish lines and lessen age spots. They often give you a chart to follow, which is like having MapQuest for your face. I often end up looking like I’m auditioning for a circus act.

I’ve had some epiphanies that have made my life much easier. Not wearing a bra unless I have to is extremely comfortable. It gives the “girls” a vacation from bra prison. I have found some loose, comfortable pants that allow easy movement, and underwear that fits but doesn’t constrict.

I still love eye makeup and hip fashion, but I have also come to realize that the promises retailers make on how good you’ll feel once you wear their stuff means nothing if you haven’t worked on feeling good on the inside.