Going Deep into the Shallow

So, Phaedra accidentally donkey-booty dialed Nene. Nene heard Phaedra say not nice things about Cynthia, so of course she had to go tattle to Cynthia. Whatever. Cynthia-centered plot lines bore the stuffing outta me and this is no exception. Also, Kim is moving out of the “haunted house” and Porsha made breakfast and Kenya is nuts.

But there are still some questions I’d like answered from last night’s episode.

1. Has Walter really never seen Kenya’s backyard?

That’s not a metaphor. I’m pretty sure that when she invited him over for the microwaved Trader Joe’s homemade dinner, he made some comment about how nice it was back there, indicating he had never seen the back deck. She also made some apologizing noises about the stairs. Is this the first time this poor sucker has been to his girlfriend’s house? Does she actually live there? And is she seriously talking about wanting a baby with this guy? And does she think the basis of a good marriage is perpetrating the lie that you can cook? And doing it badly (strands of pasta in a grill pan)? That was way more than one question but I’m truly flummoxed by Kenya’s crazy ass.

2. Did Porsha just say “fraudulent slip”?

Because I’m pretty she did. Explaining to her husband about accidentally calling Kenya Miss America, she described it as a fraudulent slip. Okay. This means that she not only doesn’t know the word is Freudian, she also misunderstands the whole concept. “Freudian slip” is not exactly an uncommon phrase, right? I mean, I think even eighth graders use it properly. But in the preview for next week, Porsha describes her organization as not about feeding the hungry only on Thanksgiving; they are “active 265 days a year.” So yeah.

Shutup, Kim.

3. Is Kim able to complete a single sentence without a gravelly-sounding F bomb?

Seriously. Kim is just revolting. I’m glad she’s on the way out. I’m so sick of watching her cuss her way through every knuckle-headed sentence she attempts to construct. I can’t wait to say buh-bye to her and Sweetie. Blech.

Seriously, have you seen Lisa’s donk? She has a magnificent booty and I don’t know why there isn’t more talk about it.

How about one more?

LVP should be your next study subject, Phae.

5. Can I start getting out of unpleasant moments by saying “I’m sleepy” like Ayden does?

That flippin’ kid is adorable. Yes, he’s gonna be a spoiled terror before he’s 4 but he’s really, really cute right now. I loved how he tried to get out of the haircut by whining “I’m sleepy!” Then he pulled it out again during the never ending $20,000 dolphin show. (And how much do we love the barber who suggested that maybe a trip to Chuck E. Cheese’s was a more appropriate birthday celebration for a 2 year old?) Oh, and Apollo is a master barber? I thought he was a trainer? And a nutritionist? And some sort of white collar criminal?

I freakin’ love you!!! More, please, more. We NEED to actually watch an episode together. I sometimes pretend your beside me when I’m watching it all alone and I think about what you might say!!!! Wait, did that just sound really creepy?!?!

Haha! Not creepy – just a fraudulent slip. We SO need to watch together. Honestly, I need to flex some muscle with Andy. I feel like if the shows were on on Thursday nights, we could actually watch together. Sunday and Monday suck!