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How to Inspire Underperforming Students

This article was originally published on September 21st, 2015. It was updated and republished here on August 23rd, 2017.

Your middle schooler or high schooler tends to underperform in school — and it drives you crazy.

What’s a caring, involved parent to do? You know how high the stakes are. Is it your duty to strictly supervise and control homework so that your son or daughter gets higher grades and has a happier life ?

Dr. Charles Fay of loveandlogic.com says no.

In a newsletter article published here, Charles gives parents a far better idea. “When your children get resistant,” he says, “allow them to learn through their refusal. Refusing to do a homework assignment can serve as a more important life lesson than the content of the assignment.”

Here are three additional strategies Charles recommends:

1.The next time your child gets resistant, experiment with walking away from the table and saying:

I love you too much to fight with you about homework.

I’ll be happy to help when I see that you want my help.

2. Let their grades be their grades.

When their grades are poor, be sad for them. Using empathy rather than anger dramatically increases the odds that they’ll actually feel bad about getting bad grades. When this begins to happen, the consequence comes from inside the child . . . rather than us having to provide one from the outside.

In Charles’ book From Bad Grades to a Great Life he provides excellent additional strategies for helping kids develop this type of internal drive. One of them is:

3. Build them up in their strengths.

Kids who make a lot of mistakes also need to experience plenty of success. That’s why it’s so important to encourage them to spend time and energy on their strengths. Celebrating their successes cements our relationship and gives them the courage to tackle the tough stuff!

Many thanks to Charles Fay for these insights. You can find all his loveandlogic.com parenting and classroom help at www.loveandlogic.com.

You can see the “Top 9 Questions Parents Are Asking Me About LAUNCH,” here.

Read just one chapter of LAUNCHevery 1-3 months while your child’s in middle school and high school, and you’ll know every viable strategy for debt-free collegeat exactly the right time to implement it.

And if your child’s already well past middle school? That’s OK; you can run to catch up. But the process of getting your kids through college debt-free goes more smoothly the earlier you start it – especially if you’re not planning to save up any money to pay for college.

Do you have friends who are parenting kids ages 12 – 22? SHARE this post on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn right now.

What about you? What strategies have you found for inspiring teens to get higher grades? Comment below or LIKE Jeannie Burlowski Author on Facebook, find this post on that page, and let’s talk about it there.

Who is Jeannie Burlowski?

Jeannie is a full time author, academic strategist, and speaker. Her writing and speaking help parents set their kids up to graduate college debt-free and move directlyinto careers they excel at and love. She also helps students apply to law, medical, business, and grad school at her website GetIntoMedSchool.com. You can follow her on Twitter @JBurlowski.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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Assistant Clinical Professor, Yale School of Medicine
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About

I am a full-time academic strategist, conference speaker, and author of the book LAUNCH: How to Get Your Kids Through College Debt-Free and Into Jobs They Love Afterward.

My writing and speaking provide parents a clear, step-by-step checklist so they can set their kids up to succeed brilliantly in college, graduate debt-free, and move directly into careers they excel at and love.

For more than 20 years, I've helped students apply to highly competitive law, medical, business, and grad schools. I still do that from my website GetIntoMedSchool.com.

I am married, and my husband and I have a son and a daughter. We live in Minneapolis.

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Disclaimer

Note: Information provided by Jeannie Burlowski and JeannieBurlowski.com is for general informational purposes only. Because consultants cannot control student grades, test scores, individual family situations, or how well or how thoroughly parents follow the suggestions offered in these pages, no representation, warranty, or guarantee can be made and no liability is assumed regarding any individual’s ability to graduate college debt free or succeed in career or in life. Seek the advice and counsel of a properly licensed CPA, Certified Financial Planner, or other licensed professional for specific guidance on how to apply these principles to your family’s individual financial situation.

About Me

I am a full-time academic strategist, conference speaker, and author of the book LAUNCH: How to Get Your Kids Through College Debt-Free and Into Jobs They Love Afterward.

My writing and speaking provide parents a clear, step-by-step checklist so they can set their kids up to succeed brilliantly in college, graduate debt-free, and move directly into careers they excel at and love.

For more than 20 years, I've helped students apply to highly competitive law, medical, business, and grad schools. I still do that from my website GetIntoMedSchool.com.

I am married, and my husband and I have a son and a daughter. We live in Minneapolis.