The Toilet of Doom: BFG Edition

Recommended Posts

FUN FACT: one of the toilets in Mars City contains a mega-turd, in the BFG edition. It also did so in the regular Doom 3, but only after Hell took over the base and you found the zombie ambush in the toilet (as far as I can remember, at least). But in the BFG Edition it's there all along, right from the start. You can also hear some evil shispering voics in the toilets, again I don't know if those were there in the classic Doom 3.

Share this post

Link to post

I can't believe a thread about a giant shit log in a toilet within a video game has gotten this many replies.

The funny thing is, such shit logs really do exist: I've seen my fair share of them during my military service. They are usually the mark of the newbie, who can't hack using the army's manly squat toilets, and so just hold it up for up to a week at a time. Needless to say, the subsequent bowel evaquation is literally FORCED and PAINFUL (and in one, big, almost superhumanly sized piece).

Share this post

Link to post

I'm assuming that the culprit is that marine that walks out of the bathroom when you pass by it after meeting with Sarge.

I met him BEFORE meeting with Sarge, and now that you mention it, he DID sound a bit embarassed and avoidant ;-) Maybe some noclip wizardry will reveal his actual position in the bathroom before the scripted sequence kicks in...

Share this post

Link to post

Would the lower gravity on Mars make it harder to, you know... actually do it? Splash back may be a bigger problem.

The design of the toilets seems to prevent that: there is a sort of dry, raised grate which holds the produce in full view until it's flushed away -reminds me of the infamous German step toilets, in a way). Gravity seems artificially compensated for somehow, at least indoors and in work areas. I didn't notice if during outdoors ventures you can walk faster or jump higher/longer, though.

Even if the gravity compensation broke down just in the toilet, at most you'd see your turds drop more slowly, but due to the different gravity constants, the splash would be about the same as on earth.

Hmm..OK, some physics.

Let's say that, on Earth, Doomguy dumps a log of mass m1 from height h1, with a total potential energy of E1=m1 * g * h1. In order to be splashed back, a certain mass m2 of water must gain enough kinetic energy to reach the height of Doomguy's ass, which is h1.

For simplicity's sake, we'll assume that the log falls in one piece, and that due to its shape and energy conversion efficiency and toilet design considerations, it delivers half of its energy to a mass of water with half its mass, so m2 = m1/2, and E2=E1/2 => m2 * g * h2 = (m1/2) * g * h1. This means that, if you assume a 50% energy conversion efficiency (HALF of the potential energy of the turd becomes kinetic and then potential energy of the back splash), then if the maximum amount of water affected is at most half as heavy as the turd, it will reach Doomguy's ass. By displacing less water but transferring the same energy it will also make Doomguy wet :-(

Now, by repeating the same calculations on Mars, with a lower gravity constant g than earth's nothing would change as to the risk of a back splash, as the constant would change by the same amount on both sides of the E2 = E1/2 equation, QED ;-)

Now, if a turd was released at Earth gravity and the moment it hit the water the gravity generator broke down and the water was suddenly at Mars gravity.... ;-)