Women Abuse

Victims of abuse cannot screen for suitable men properly unless they receive aid like articles, videos, or emotional support. This is because they have been conditioned to stay silent about bad behavior that is often mixed with body signals and comments that seem accepting and encouraging in nature. If you are growing this way, then obviously you are going to think about whether the signals you are receiving are genuine or not.

Here is a personal story that should remind you how exactly victims of abuse feel confused about what the other person really wants from them. Once, I was sitting in an office when my male boss leaned towards me and talked to me; he also fiddled a bit with his shirt. Both of these are signs that someone likes you. Read points 6 and 32 of article “46 Male Body Language Signs He Likes You“. At that time, I was unable to read into these cues but something else happened that triggered the rest of my reaction. When it was time for lunch to which he has invited me, he verbally pushed me to go in his car. I told him that I can drive over myself; but, he did not want to listen to this alternative. I hated this about him; and, I was uncomfortable during the entire ride. I held my cellphone in my hand; and, I even pretended to use it. I can’t believe I sat in his car! I was safe throughout all this though! I eventually left the job due to this particular incidence. This is how women who have been mistreated in the past cannot read the body language and behavior of men properly—I am glad that that day, I was more aware of my professional and personal boundaries.

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I am an ENFP; over time, I have only found out that it is tough to fit me into smaller compartments of opinion. Here is a very meagre example that shows a broader lens.

Yesterday, I was talking to a well-educated and privileged Pakistani friend of mine about how I intend to support a soon-to-be divorced woman. She minded that and said that you should prioritize your needs first. Her sweet comment was, “You are not even married. You need to start looking for a good guy for yourself. Don’t worry about others.” I did not mind what she said because I knew that she meant well. Later, when I got home, I realized that I will help that soon-to-be divorced woman. Reality is that my needs do not fully click in my head. Instead, the following thought strikes me more:

If I desert her, there is no example setting. People are already ignoring those who need help. And, if I desert her, then I have killed a portion of my network, which will collapse some portions of other women’s networks. I mean this chain reaction just starts on its own when a woman is neglected.

Did you see a severe clash of ideas here? Did you also see how real leaders think? Inside my mind, it feels like walking a fine line; a little mental push here and there easily collapses one concept and forms the other. This unsettling way of thinking is very natural for ENFPs like me. In the end, an ENFP can choose the right path based on the broader grid. For me, this grid is built by Prophet Mohammad’s actions where he never ignored the oppressed and needy.

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There are some pretty cruel narcissists in my family—you know the type that make you think only in the washroom. The challenge at my end was that I did not access to Internet when I was younger because I was living in Pakistan back then. The next complication was that I was too young to read into what was going on inside my family. So when I grew older and I learned how to use the internet, I ended up reading some articles about narcissism. This is when it occurred to me that I was dealing with some very experienced narcissists.

When a narcissist relative of mine moved out of dad’s place, he pointed to me and said that he is moving away due to me. I used to stand up for myself and for those whom he used to injure; obviously, he hated me a lot. I still laugh at this lie because I know that he left because he got a job somewhere. I realized that day that narcissists are very insensitive and they point fingers at the victims till the very end.

I am managing another narcissist relative by using some of these techniques. One thing I like doing is telling him that he is wrong in front of someone else who is more likely to take my side. For me, an Empath, some of these methods are actually too painful to utilize; but, I am very glad that I can use the rest of these. Read “How do you make a narcissist feel sorry?”

Narcissism is actually on the rise in Pakistan and Canada; but, a lot of Pakistanis and Canadians are “unaware” of this due to the effects on the mind that are caused by “Gaslighting“. I slowly became aware of all this because I used to pray to God, which healed some of my trauma.

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Some Pakistani shows even comedy shows are very misogynist in nature. I was raised on some of these shows; but, I learned how to walk away on my own. While living in Canada, I learned about Rahim Pardesi’s YouTube videos. I watched some of them and found some of them interesting. However, the rest of these videos were very frustrating in nature. It is easy for me to notice that he displays main character “Nasreen” as a very odd woman who is a total misfit and an outcast. I find it very cruel to see that he expects people to laugh at this. I have laughed on some of these depictions as well because he is actually very funny—there are times he jokes about the male characters instead. Here are some videos that strike me as very very odd! What’s even more peculiar is that the young woman “Nasreen” is actually Rahim Pardesi himself.

The Gym Class: Nasreen goes to the gym and does absolutely nothing except to flirt with a well-built guy.

Iftar Time: Nasreen’s husband tells her that she should wait a bit more and she is not going to die doing so. This is how he is talking to her during the sacred month of Ramadan.

Natural Beauty: Nasreen’s husband complains that she has wasted her money on getting her eyebrows shaped because she got this done last week. So apparently, he is not reading into the fact that she is bored or that her eyebrows grew out of shape because hair grows faster for some brown women.

Shop Snatch: Nasreen is busy running in slow motion or playing video games while her husband’s shop is being looted. This shows how well they connect with each other and read each other’s needs. This also shows that Nasreen is just responding to ongoing neglect.

Desi Hunger Games: Nasreen eventually yells at her husband after he misses her anniversary. He then throws chocolates at her like he is feeding an animal. Then, he starts daydreaming about a pretty Indian actress, Katrina Kaif.

Desi Holiday: This video clips starts when Nasreen’s best friend calls her and tells her that she is going to “Barcelona”. Nasreen learns that she is going to Dubai and gets all excited. Her husband says, “Shut up! You are barking”. Then, he tells her that he is going to take her to Pakistan instead; she gets very unhappy when she hears this.

Nasreen Kidnap: This clip shows how Nasreen is kidnapped and how her husband does not help her at all when the kidnappers call for ransom. She runs away on her own; and, when she gets home, she finds out that her husband is busy playing cards with his friends.

Nasreen After 40 Years: In this video, Nasreen ends up befriending a psycho killer due to fear. She feeds him and dances with him—they don’t tell viewers that she has “Stockholm Syndrome”. The psycho finally kills her because she runs out of the food that she was using to stop him from harming her. Her husband comes home; sees the dead body; and, thinks that she is pranking him. He checks out the dead body for 40 years; and, keeps thinking that she is pranking him. He says something along these lines, “Wake up! I am going to work. Stop overacting”. This shows you that for many days, he has not bothered to look for her outside of this kitchen and that her life does not exist outside of the kitchen.

“Nasreen” is clearly misogynist in nature because it depicts hatred towards women and shows this in various ways including neglect and verbally aggressive language. Obviously! the influence of such shows does not end at the screen.

My personal experiences have taught me that some Pakistani households are very toxic for women and children. In such abusive and dysfunctional households, Pakistanis are learning things mostly from TV; thus, they talk and behave a little bit or very much like Nasreen’s husband. This kind of mistreatment is designed to break women’s and children’s confidence and ruin their future. Some of my close male relatives used to sometimes talk like this. Three of them have changed a lot over years, which is a good indication. But, two of the guys who have reformed still tend to get very grumpy sometimes and then verbally assault me; then they apologize sooner or later. It’s scary because of the nature of comments. It used to be worse when they were younger; but, they have somehow changed into better people. They had some trauma in their lives so it was easier to change when stimuli was removed. We are learning how to move forward by talking to each other. I have noticed that we still work pretty well together, which is probably because our bond formation is still very strong.

Overall, it is very crippling living with them or being close to them, which is why our family members have grown apart. Domestic abuse is just one reason why I am not planning to marry within my culture. There is always this fear that something torturous is going to happen to me. I engage in Lucid Dreaming; and, even then I cannot remove this fear from my mind. Another reason is that I know things are like this for some other Pakistani-Canadian women as well; and, I know that some of them are bent on identifying themselves as non-Pakistanis so that they may not get shot by their family members.

Saying all this, I must comment that all this is true for some Pakistani households only. And, the only way out of this is by using mainstream media to engage, which is obviously not going to be done for quite some while. Pakistani mainstream media is usually filled with dramas, comedy shows, music shows, and reality shows. There is really less footage on how to overcome domestic abuse; how to have a stable married life; or how to be good parents. You can tell which household is abusive if you are a keen observer or if you are sticking around for longer. In a typical abusive Pakistani household, children are usually very well-behaved in front of strangers; but, at the back they are very mean towards each other, parents, or employees. If you are a keen observer, you might end up noticing a bad joke such as, “Why won’t you try to sleep outside today?” This will very likely get camouflaged as the rest of the family members would attempt to shrug it off as something funny or childish someone is saying to distract the guests. If you live with them for a bit, you will definitely hear the children scream and also see them fighting a lot. And, if you are close to the abusive parents somehow, you will see that you cannot mention Psychologists or Family Councillors to them. They simply won’t listen because they have played a role in creating this dysfunction.

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I have been thinking about this a lot. In some instances, I have been able to conduct telepathy successfully while awake or asleep. Let me tell you a story that I have hidden for a while because this took place when I was not ready for all of this.

When I was younger, I came across the case of Rehtaeh Parsons. First, I saw a picture of Rehtaeh Parsons on the web—it was the one in which she was shows sleeping next to two boys. I somehow managed to tap into her picture really quickly. I saw a couple of things very clearly:

She was a victim.

I felt defeated.

I felt scared.

I heard voice of a kid, but it seemed too hushed.

I got scared of this reading; and, I ran away from my room. At that time, I failed to contact Ms. Parsons parents because I had no website and no proof at all to back up my claim. I slowly learned about her case by following the news. When I created this website, I even tweeted to her father Glen Canning.

If you are really trapped figuring things about someone gone missing or dead all of a sudden, feel free to reach out to me. I can attempt to enter the picture for you; but, know that I cannot guarantee that I will be able to connect you all the time. This telepathic ability shuts off on its own; and, I do perceive some difficulty reading certain brainwaves or timelines for some reason. I can attempt to give you some answers this way. I have not decided on my rate yet; but, this service will be inexpensive. I can be reached at dotswritingdojo@gmail.com.

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Note:Before you read this post, please note these thoughts do not apply to the good men who don’t like abusing and using women.

The correct answer to this question is NO. I say this because women have been harassed and abused for a very long while; and, most countries are so hyper-responsible that they are forcing women to create and lead the #MeToo campaign. I can see efforts like #MeToo campaigns as example of hyper-responsibility where women are expected to do more—I fail to see if they have failed at something already.

Before I tell you what men are learning from the women, I must share something that I have learned from experience and by having conversations with other women.

In Canada, some educated professional men are misusing women: they abuse them during interviews and at work; they spy on their campaigns by asking too many questions; they gang up on them in an unfair and unprofessional manner; and, they do not answer their questions and keep secrets. By destabilizing the network and learning of the women, these men are creating gaps in their resumes and skills while increasing the wage gap.

According to Rebecca Shambaugh’s article “What Men Can Learn From Women“, women teach men how to listen better; how to share empathy; how to communicate and collaborate effectively; how to think in a holistic manner; and, how to trust one’s guts. According to Gene Hammett’s article, “What Men Can Learn From Women Leaders“, men learn how to engage in new initiatives and how to multitask by using assistance and teaching offered by women.

If you have taught some men some stuff but they have not returned the favor, then please slowly demote them. Put a tag on them and remove them from all your personal activities like events, gatherings, or parties. I am also using this strategy to get rid of leeches!

I wonder if women need to demonstrate some tougher ways of disciplining men like a real or authentic slap on the face. I mean are you sure that the men (referring only to those who actually did something mean) who are now targets of the #MeToo campaigns had ZERO access to the women who could teach them something valuable? Truth is that a lot of women just like me don’t want to hit or even say something rude even to their aggressors. Therefore, their offenders must understand that campaigns like #MeToo and clever tactics like “slow demotion” are still considered a slap on the face or strict discipline.

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I started singing at an early age; but, I received my only formal training when I was in a Pakistani high school. We had a small girls-only choir; and, we were required to sing for all the morning assemblies and school parties—I was also heavily involved in the school’s official girls-only dance team.

I have not been to Pakistan in 20 years now. Whenever I feel down, I sing along by using some of my favourite songs—I have lots and lots of lovely ones. Singing activates some sort of odd effect inside my brain. I stay focused on my singing like a drug addict; then I dance like a hasheesh infested woman—so you must have realized that poetry is doing something even stronger than that. After a day or two have passed, my mood stays very optimistic, hot, sexy, and sensational.

According to article, “11 Surprising Health Benefits of Singing“, singing improves the posture. I have to sit or stand a specific way in order to sing. Then I have to move my hands and arms in order to guide my singing.

The last article also indicate that singing lower stress levels, improve alertness, and create better sleep. My brain adapts so quickly to singing that nobody ever notices that I was down just a couple of moments ago. Singing and music is how I survived teenager trauma.

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This is a real story; and, it is a horrific one. Porn is everywhere in Pakistan; and, it is shoved on children as well. Nobody wants to tell you this truth—reality is that porn is a usual thing to watch even in some Canadian offices. This story shows you how children can be brainwashed to say abnormal things.

One day, I was playing games with my friends inside my high school when an impure comment issued by a boy spread in some classes and finally got to my friends’ and siblings’ ears. Apparently, a rather young boy from grade 4 or 5—I think he was one grade ahead of me—was planning to kidnap and rape me. His comments were very dirty, thorough, and abusive in nature; and, he was constantly obsessing over my looks and clothes. My siblings and my friends got so worried after they heard this. But, we were all kids with really less influence. His weird comments continued for some days; and, every now and then, I used to hear news from my friends that now he is saying this and that. One of my siblings also heard him say some criminal stuff so he asked me to be very careful of this boy. Anyways, I was left unharmed as some students and my siblings chose to shun this guy. That was the first rape threat I received.

I had other abusive encounters as I grew older; when I matured as an adult, I decided to share some of these things online. I have been checking out something very sleezy, something as bad as porn that is visible among the Muslims including some well-known folks of Ottawa, Canada. Some of the Muslims do not help needy women out; they are always preaching things like “Your family is your first home. Not leaving them is better” instead of sharing their connections so that the abused woman may use their help to get through; and, they are always pointing to community centres when the reality is that the Canadian community centres are returning abused women. Some of these famous, well-connected, and practicing Muslims I have come across are really that good at managing women abuse. Given that I have been abused since I was a child, talking to such Muslims have been the scariest experience in my life. A lot of time while randomly connecting with people including Muslims, I do not tell them who I am on purpose; this helps me see their real reactions, which is what any other woman/girl must be experienceing as well. Such Muslims are the reason why women and girls go through abuse even in very modern and wealthy countries like Canada. During the day, they parade as loving people; but, they are covert in nature so they select their victims and harass them when no one is watching. These kind of people are the reason why I feel that the ordeals Muslims are currently being put through are given to them by God on purpose. You can read comments by one of the Muslim guys I have nailed to be harassing in nature. Learn how they talk and what is wrong with what is being said; and, you will be able to nail the rest.

I am in the process of slowly writing down their names and comments because I feel that this community need a strong attitude of this sort. So far, I have come across three abusive and influential Muslims. I am sure that I will find more as I connect with more people—I am still relatively new to Ottawa.

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There are plenty of reasons why someone who has been thoroughly abused does not file a report with the Ministry of Labour

They do not know or trust the Minsitry because they have never worked there. They do not have any impressions of the people who work there. They keep thinking that their file might go in wrong hands again.

There is no time. They might already be stuck in a bad situation like managing family and children or just getting the job after finishing studies.

They belong to a minority culture and religion. There is lots of ways of misunderstanding what is going on. For example, Mulsim women do not make pushy or ongoing eye contact with men like some Canadian employers want them to make while talking. This can be used against them to abuse them further; but, nobody is able to make note of this mistreatment.

Somebody could have already lied to them and done a fake and unreliable investigation. For example, some academic organizations including Nursing schools like Humber College are doing exactly this. Read Globe and Mail’s article “Justice on Campus“. This mistreatment is not necessarily rape; it can include emotional abuse offered by some teachers in a selective manner to only some students. Because the victims have been lied to, they might already been brainwashed not to act properly. Those who are left watching also go through effects of gaslighting.

This has happened to me as well. I did not file report of being harrassed by an employer because I was in a hurry to move forward. But, this did come back to haunt me later when I needed a reference for a position. Anyways, it’s a really long story! I cannot share it here. I am sure if you were to talk to a lawyer or journalist about this, they will tell you more reasons why people do not want to file a report even after being gravely misused and misunderstood. Canada is like that; and, I believe that it is going to stay like this for a long while. Very frankly, Canada offers a very unstable work environment for coloured people, especially coloured women. If you are colored and have a job, then save up and leave Canada whenever possible. I feel Muslims also need to listen to what I am saying here. Canada is actually a very racist country; people can be easily coerced to believe lies through mainstream media. For example, read article “How Canadian Media Normalizes Islamophobia” to see how Muslims are being targeted by the mainstream media. One key figure Canadian media uses repeatedly is Tarek Fateh who keeps lying about how Islam allows for rape and sex slavery by using scholars who are not well-recognized or by contorting or removing the real context behind a story. I have read some Islamic texts during my spare time. Slavery and rape are not allowed in Islam. PERIOD. It’s prohibited according to the Quran and the words of Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him). I believe that it is due to weird people like Tarek Fateh that Canadian Muslims are facing Islamophobia and hate crimes.