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Hair Gel for Human Babies… Ugh.

Seriously, I got a press release for baby hair gel the other day. You know, HAIR GEL FOR HUMAN BABIES:

This summer, whether headed to the beach or the pool, [REDACTED] hair gel is ideal to throw in any bag for some quick hair touch-ups. From taming those wild fly-aways to smoothing frizzies, [REDACTED] hair gel works on all hair types and is free of fragrances, sulfates and all harsh chemicals. Whatever the hair type, [REDACTED] will make combing and styling a cinch.

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You know, just earlier, I mentioned that my two-month-old daughter looked like a completely insane 90-year-old man because of how her baby-fine hair hair was all messed up. Little did I know it is within my power to change that, and also take all the fun out of having babies around.