“In Herman Cain’s defense, there is very little in the pizza world that is not sexually suggestive,” Stewart said. “Hey, hey, you want sausage on your pie? Hey, hey, you want me to stuff your crush? I told you, I guarantee, it will come in 30 minutes or less.”

Stewart’s excuse-making wasn’t helped by Cain’s own defense on Fox News earlier that day, when he wouldn’t even say whether there were settlements paid to his accusers.

“You can’t just go well, other than that, no,” Stewart said. “That would be like, ‘Have you ever kidnapped a baby? Well other than the Lindbergh boy, no.'”

About the Author

Andrew Jones is a staff writer/reporter for Raw Story. Besides covering politics, he is also a freelance sports journalist, as well as a slam poetry and music artist. You can follow him on Twitter @sluggahjells.