In late [[R. 2010]], [[Piltogg]], the mighty Paladin of Purity, began a quest that would forever change the [[BrikVerse]]. Capitalizing on the events of [[The Immortal War]] to keep other [[Factions & Forces|star nations]] distracted, Piltogg set off to collect all nine of the [[Artifax of Pre-Creation]].

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In late [[R. 2,010]], [[Piltogg]], the mighty Paladin of Purity, began a quest that would forever change the [[BrikVerse]]. Capitalizing on the events of [[The Immortal War]] to keep other [[Factions and Forces|star nations]] distracted, Piltogg set off to collect all nine of the [[The Nine Artifax of Pre-Creation|Artifax of Pre-Creation]].

What was his purpose for doing this? This was a question no one could really answer, but all sat and wondered, "What would happen if all nine Artifax were assembled together?"

What was his purpose for doing this? This was a question no one could really answer, but all sat and wondered, "What would happen if all nine Artifax were assembled together?"

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== Artifakt I: The Sword of Inhuman Strength ==

== Artifakt I: The Sword of Inhuman Strength ==

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Piltogg already had one Artifakt, The [[Sword of Inhuman Strength]], which he had taken from the hands of [[The Nega-BlokTrix]] during the [[POOP Invasion]]. Inspired (and some would say, corrupted) by the Inhuman power it granted, Piltogg left his beloved [[Akkadian Empire of Ultra-Badassery|Akkadia]] in the worthy hands of Kaiser Mangrave, to do the day-to-day work of ordinary battle while Piltogg embarked on his quest for the [[SuperNatural]].

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Piltogg already had one Artifakt, [[The Nine Artifax of Pre-Creation|The Sword of Inhuman Strength]], which he had taken from the hands of [[Nega-BlokTrix]] during the [[POOP Invasion]]. Inspired (and some would say, corrupted) by the Inhuman power it granted, Piltogg left his beloved [[Akkadian Empire of Ultra-Badassery|Akkadia]] in the worthy hands of Kaiser Mangrave, to do the day-to-day work of ordinary battle while Piltogg embarked on his quest for the [[Bestiary|SuperNatural]].

And so the quest began, and with it, a whole new kind of war. But first, Piltogg would need to wrap up matters in the [[Artogat Sector]], so he unloaded himself directly in front of the largest military base on this side of the galaxy, which was known only as Daragothiin. Nominally, this was to ensure the safety of Akkadia in his absence, but in fact it was mostly just so he could test out the absurdly powerful powers he already possessed.

And so the quest began, and with it, a whole new kind of war. But first, Piltogg would need to wrap up matters in the [[Artogat Sector]], so he unloaded himself directly in front of the largest military base on this side of the galaxy, which was known only as Daragothiin. Nominally, this was to ensure the safety of Akkadia in his absence, but in fact it was mostly just so he could test out the absurdly powerful powers he already possessed.

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Shaun "[[Soulless]]" Sullivan and his Neo-[[BleyWatch]] guards had holed themselves up in the [[Rainbow]] mines of [[Carapithia IX]]. Under the eternal guard of [[Deadly SpaceMan|Deadly Spacemen]] to ensure interplanetary mining rights, the mines lead forever downward to an underground ocean where creatures of evil swarm. The DSM were a deadly foe indeed, as they possessed a weapon from GodKiller Tech, a subsidiary of the Church of the [[Great Builder]]. This weapon was powerful enough to take down even Gods, so Piltogg would not be much of a problem for it; however, it only had one shot.

Shaun "[[Soulless]]" Sullivan and his Neo-[[BleyWatch]] guards had holed themselves up in the [[Rainbow]] mines of [[Carapithia IX]]. Under the eternal guard of [[Deadly SpaceMan|Deadly Spacemen]] to ensure interplanetary mining rights, the mines lead forever downward to an underground ocean where creatures of evil swarm. The DSM were a deadly foe indeed, as they possessed a weapon from GodKiller Tech, a subsidiary of the Church of the [[Great Builder]]. This weapon was powerful enough to take down even Gods, so Piltogg would not be much of a problem for it; however, it only had one shot.

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Because of this, Akkadian general [[infantry]] were sent in for a preemptive strike to take out the GodKiller Tech weapon, in order to ensure the continued existence of their master. However, Shaun was ready for them, waving around the [[Oktopustika]] as fast as he could to produce a great horde of evil.

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Because of this, Akkadian general [[Feasible Combat Units|infantry]] were sent in for a preemptive strike to take out the GodKiller Tech weapon, in order to ensure the continued existence of their master. However, Shaun was ready for them, waving around the [[Oktopustika]] as fast as he could to produce a great horde of evil.

== Piltogg Encounters some Noobs ==

== Piltogg Encounters some Noobs ==

{{Post|135944}}

{{Post|135944}}

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On his way to the planet [[Medivo]], Piltogg was accosted by two [[Noob]] [[Hero]]es: [[Brikhed]] and [[The Man in the Top Hat]]. Fearful of what might happen if too many Artifax were gathered together, the two attempted an ambush, but were ambushed in turn by the [[Dread Pirate Two-By-Two]] armed with the [[Hook of Melting]].

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On his way to the planet [[Medivo]], Piltogg was accosted by two Noob [[Creature Evolution|Hero]]es: [[Brikhed]] and [[The Man in the Top Hat]]. Fearful of what might happen if too many Artifax were gathered together, the two attempted an ambush, but were ambushed in turn by the [[Dread Pirate Two-By-Two]] armed with the [[The Nine Artifax of Pre-Creation|Hook of Melting]].

== Artifakt III: The Hammer of Discipline ==

== Artifakt III: The Hammer of Discipline ==

{{Post|137552}}

{{Post|137552}}

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Having given the matter some thought, Piltogg realized that there was a major drawback to the [[Hammer of Discipline]]: it could only remove one squad at a time. So, with enough support, Piltogg could overpower its bearer, the [[Almighty Benny]].

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Having given the matter some thought, Piltogg realized that there was a major drawback to the [[The Nine Artifax of Pre-Creation|Hammer of Discipline]]: it could only remove one squad at a time. So, with enough support, Piltogg could overpower its bearer, the [[Almighty Benny]].

After locating Benny, he acquired the help of the [[VladTron Empire]] by climbing to the top of absurdly tall tower and giving an inspiring speech.

After locating Benny, he acquired the help of the [[VladTron Empire]] by climbing to the top of absurdly tall tower and giving an inspiring speech.

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It was in the confrontation with Benny that Piltogg experienced his first taste of [[defeat]]. Even in his near-invincible state, Piltogg was easily removed by a single strike of the Hammer. However, this was enough to give his allies [[Ross Varn]], [[Lord Von Krus]], [[Moronstudios]], and [[Cpl. Halan]] the opening they needed to press the attack and attempt a rescue.

+

It was in the confrontation with Benny that Piltogg experienced his first taste of defeat. Even in his near-invincible state, Piltogg was easily removed by a single strike of the Hammer. However, this was enough to give his allies [[Ross Varn]], [[Lord Von Krus]], [[Moronstudios]], and [[Cpl. Halan]] the opening they needed to press the attack and attempt a rescue.

== Blitzen's Pre-Emptive Strike on Akkadia ==

== Blitzen's Pre-Emptive Strike on Akkadia ==

{{Post|144381}}

{{Post|144381}}

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The battle between Piltogg and [[Blitzen]] had waged for centuries (some say even since early R. 2006) over whether it was necessary to use correct spelling at all times or not. However, this battle was much more interesting than all of those other battles, because in THIS battle Piltogg was given a chance to test out some of his new equipment: the [[Personal Teleporter]] and the [[Nachtmare Blade]], both of which were practically the technological equivalents of minor artifacts themselves, developed during the battle of "Hope's Last Stand" {{Thread|5220}}.

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The battle between Piltogg and [[Blitzen]] had waged for centuries (some say even since early [[R. 2006]]) over whether it was necessary to use correct spelling at all times or not. However, this battle was much more interesting than all of those other battles, because in THIS battle Piltogg was given a chance to test out some of his new equipment: the [[Personal Teleporter]] and the [[Nachtmare Blade]], both of which were practically the technological equivalents of minor artifacts themselves, developed during the battle of "Hope's Last Stand" {{Thread|5220}}.

Using their technology to the fullest extent possible, the Akkadians proved once and for all that it's not the size of the boat, it's how you rock the ship, destroying the [[Grammar Inquisition]] fleet and causing Blitzen to flee.

Using their technology to the fullest extent possible, the Akkadians proved once and for all that it's not the size of the boat, it's how you rock the ship, destroying the [[Grammar Inquisition]] fleet and causing Blitzen to flee.

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{{Thread|6205}}

{{Thread|6205}}

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Blitzen eventually landed on [[Krysto]], where she hoped her Heroic powers and her artifakt, the [[Stupendous Featinator]], would be of greater use in defending the world from the horrible spelling that is Piltogg. [[Koincidence|Koincidentally]], Piltogg was already in the middle of leading an Akkadian invasion of the planet, in a bid to capture the fifth Artifakt: the [[Original OTC]], defended by the Iceworld warrior [[IVhorseman]].

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Blitzen eventually landed on [[Krysto]], where she hoped her Heroic powers and her artifakt, the [[The Nine Artifax of Pre-Creation|Stupendous Featinator]], would be of greater use in defending the world from the horrible spelling that is Piltogg. [[Koincidence|Koincidentally]], Piltogg was already in the middle of leading an Akkadian invasion of the planet, in a bid to capture the fifth Artifakt: the [[Original OTC]], defended by the [[Iceworld]] warrior [[IVhorseman]].

In a drawn out battle, Piltogg and friends did battle with the [[Settanians]], Krystoans, [[Assyrians]], and the remnants of the Grammar Inquisition in the Iceworld capital. New tech-artifacts were tested out on both sides. The Assyrians got their hands on a [[Matter Creation Gun]] and the Akkadians found use of a [[Matter Destruction Gun]]. Where they got these guns is a mystery. In any case, after much fighting, fire and bloodshed, a series of somewhat anti-climatic battles decided that Piltogg defeated both IVhorseman and Blitzen and managed to capture both of their artifacts.

In a drawn out battle, Piltogg and friends did battle with the [[Settanians]], Krystoans, [[Assyrians]], and the remnants of the Grammar Inquisition in the Iceworld capital. New tech-artifacts were tested out on both sides. The Assyrians got their hands on a [[Matter Creation Gun]] and the Akkadians found use of a [[Matter Destruction Gun]]. Where they got these guns is a mystery. In any case, after much fighting, fire and bloodshed, a series of somewhat anti-climatic battles decided that Piltogg defeated both IVhorseman and Blitzen and managed to capture both of their artifacts.

What was his purpose for doing this? This was a question no one could really answer, but all sat and wondered, "What would happen if all nine Artifax were assembled together?"

Artifakt I: The Sword of Inhuman Strength

Piltogg already had one Artifakt, The Sword of Inhuman Strength, which he had taken from the hands of Nega-BlokTrix during the POOP Invasion. Inspired (and some would say, corrupted) by the Inhuman power it granted, Piltogg left his beloved Akkadia in the worthy hands of Kaiser Mangrave, to do the day-to-day work of ordinary battle while Piltogg embarked on his quest for the SuperNatural.

And so the quest began, and with it, a whole new kind of war. But first, Piltogg would need to wrap up matters in the Artogat Sector, so he unloaded himself directly in front of the largest military base on this side of the galaxy, which was known only as Daragothiin. Nominally, this was to ensure the safety of Akkadia in his absence, but in fact it was mostly just so he could test out the absurdly powerful powers he already possessed.

Artifakt II: The Oktopustika

Shaun "Soulless" Sullivan and his Neo-BleyWatch guards had holed themselves up in the Rainbow mines of Carapithia IX. Under the eternal guard of Deadly Spacemen to ensure interplanetary mining rights, the mines lead forever downward to an underground ocean where creatures of evil swarm. The DSM were a deadly foe indeed, as they possessed a weapon from GodKiller Tech, a subsidiary of the Church of the Great Builder. This weapon was powerful enough to take down even Gods, so Piltogg would not be much of a problem for it; however, it only had one shot.

Because of this, Akkadian general infantry were sent in for a preemptive strike to take out the GodKiller Tech weapon, in order to ensure the continued existence of their master. However, Shaun was ready for them, waving around the Oktopustika as fast as he could to produce a great horde of evil.

Artifakt III: The Hammer of Discipline

Having given the matter some thought, Piltogg realized that there was a major drawback to the Hammer of Discipline: it could only remove one squad at a time. So, with enough support, Piltogg could overpower its bearer, the Almighty Benny.

After locating Benny, he acquired the help of the VladTron Empire by climbing to the top of absurdly tall tower and giving an inspiring speech.

It was in the confrontation with Benny that Piltogg experienced his first taste of defeat. Even in his near-invincible state, Piltogg was easily removed by a single strike of the Hammer. However, this was enough to give his allies Ross Varn, Lord Von Krus, Moronstudios, and Cpl. Halan the opening they needed to press the attack and attempt a rescue.

Blitzen's Pre-Emptive Strike on Akkadia

The battle between Piltogg and Blitzen had waged for centuries (some say even since early R. 2006) over whether it was necessary to use correct spelling at all times or not. However, this battle was much more interesting than all of those other battles, because in THIS battle Piltogg was given a chance to test out some of his new equipment: the Personal Teleporter and the Nachtmare Blade, both of which were practically the technological equivalents of minor artifacts themselves, developed during the battle of "Hope's Last Stand" Forum Thread.

Using their technology to the fullest extent possible, the Akkadians proved once and for all that it's not the size of the boat, it's how you rock the ship, destroying the Grammar Inquisition fleet and causing Blitzen to flee.

Artifax IV & V: The Stupendous Featinator and the Original OTC

Blitzen eventually landed on Krysto, where she hoped her Heroic powers and her artifakt, the Stupendous Featinator, would be of greater use in defending the world from the horrible spelling that is Piltogg. Koincidentally, Piltogg was already in the middle of leading an Akkadian invasion of the planet, in a bid to capture the fifth Artifakt: the Original OTC, defended by the Iceworld warrior IVhorseman.

In a drawn out battle, Piltogg and friends did battle with the Settanians, Krystoans, Assyrians, and the remnants of the Grammar Inquisition in the Iceworld capital. New tech-artifacts were tested out on both sides. The Assyrians got their hands on a Matter Creation Gun and the Akkadians found use of a Matter Destruction Gun. Where they got these guns is a mystery. In any case, after much fighting, fire and bloodshed, a series of somewhat anti-climatic battles decided that Piltogg defeated both IVhorseman and Blitzen and managed to capture both of their artifacts.

Artifakt VI: The Head Separator

Artifakt VII: The Skully Grail

(pending)

Artifakt VIII: The Almighty BanHammer

(pending)

Artifact IX: The Hook of Melting

The Dread Pirate Two-by-Two has pledged to simply hand the final Artifakt to Piltogg if he can gather all eight of the other Artifax - presumably because he is curious, or has some kind of ulterior motive.