How to Dress Like a Christian

Growing up in a conservative town in the American Midwest called Zionsville, with its town hall based in a former church, let's just say I'm no stranger to the strong views many Christians have about clothing. And I can tell you that there is a whole lot more to dressing Christian-like than wearing W.W.J.D. bracelets and the souvenir t-shirt you got from Laguna Beach Christian Retreatin Panama City, Florida. The good lord cares about your fashion sense the same way he cares about your sexual preference. And like Santa Claus, God is always watching. So if you want to get into those pearly gates, you better make sure you look good. To help you out on judgement day, I've broken down some key looks that will ensure you get to spend eternity with your creator, because "fashion faux pas" is really just another term for sin.