Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Episode 7: Tips on how to go to Disneyland and Disney World

The Magic Kingdom is this week’s theme and Ken has an expert who will give you helpful tips and secrets on how to make your stay at Disneyland or Disney World the best vacation ever. When is the best time to go? How is the best way to get on your favorite rides? Did any famous celebrities work there? And what don’t you see when you go to one of the Disney parks? Also, Ken shares some of his memories of Disneyland and how he heard his dear sweet grandmother drop the F-bomb for the first time.

7 comments
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Very awesome podcast, Ken. As a huge Disneyphile, I'd already heard much of the information and how-to stuff, but I always enjoy Cast Member anecdotes (though the "worst behavior I've seen from guests/Cast Member" ones tend to be the best- something for next time!).

Having been in the Utilidor before (you can take a special behind-the-scenes tour to do so!), it... pretty much just looks like every other basement you've seen. Equipment humming, stacks of palettes, etc. But there's some decent photographs of the park there. And apparently some lucky tour groups see the Off-Duty Princesses and stuff.

In my experience, everyone ASSUMES the Princesses get groped, but they're more in danger of being kicked by bratty kids. A lot of men apparently slip the girls phone numbers or try to flirt, which is about as bad as it gets (one girl who's played Mulan & Jasmine basically says "we're all actresses- just take the picture! We love attention!").

I once got sick off of one of those turkey legs- I warn everyone off of them now. Three hours of sleep was all I got that night- you can imagine the Animal Kingdom the next day was not pleasant, though I would eventually recover (that Finding Nemo theater is DARK- a perfect place to just collapse and sleep).

Also, word of advice- have your dining plans reserved at LEAST a few hours ahead of time. I starved in Downtown Disney and the Magic Kingdom after foolishly not deciding to pick a place until I was hungry- many places won't even take you to a table if you're by yourself, either. Get fast food otherwise.

If you're from a colder climate, Disneyland during "cold weather" is a blast. Most of the people are locals, and Californians think what is "you might need a long-sleeved shirt" weather to most people is nipple-hardeningly cold, and stay away from plenty of good rides (Splash Mountain is a walk-on in such cases). It's quite funny to see everyone react as if Elsa unleashed her powers when you're perfectly fine in a t-shirt.

There are also "Hidden Mickeys" throughout the parks, hidden in many attraction queues and decorations. A lot of people make a game of looking for them- naturally, Disney now sells official guides on how to find them. A perfect thing to do when it's busy.

GradNite 1988 - Disney World, Orlando. Spent first hour hanging with the guys, RUN DMC blaring onstage and while on line for the SkyWay lift, discover a new girl who becomes my new best friend. The guys shaking heads in disbelief as this unlikely twosome leaves them behind as the SkyWay lands. Escape into the romantic darkness of Haunted Mansion only to find it contains extra flashlight-carrying ghosts to shine their disapproval on kisses over five seconds long. Walking on, romantic bliss has its first crisis – she wants to see Michael Bolton sing in the park; I never touch the stuff. But do I tell her? The urgent quest for Bolton grows stronger than my efforts to hide us away in Neverland. Bolton fever boils over as she starts to walk faster and faster than I can keep up – breakup via power walking. I’m left alone by the Liberty tree - no sign of former friends and a one hour romance founded in fantasyland and lost in Liberty Square. Near end of evening I’m walking down the bright Vegas-like Main Street as U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” plays over loudspeakers – spotted by the abandoned friends, they welcome me back into the fold with knowing looks that say they understand. But they demand details on my Magic Kingdom misadventures and my GradNite “tales” last the entire bus ride home.

You mentioned Louis Armstrong as part of a program called Disney After Dark that brought legends like Stan Kenton and Benny Goodman into the Park to play at the Plaza Gardens.

It was a fantastic program as far as Disney was concerned. It brought bodies into the park on slow weekday evenings, but they were senior citizens so they didn't clog up the rides and they didn't cause problems with security, all they did was spend money on food and buy a ton of expensive presents for their grandchildren at the Main Street shops on their way out. Pure profit for Disney.

They did it for several years, but what finally killed the program was the fact that the headliners were all getting really old and most of them no longer had a working band. Instead, the headliners would hire from the same pool of studio musicians whenever they had a gig, and it got to the point where Tex Beneke had the same musicians as Duke Ellington and Woody Herman. The guests noticed and thought they were getting ripped off.

Per Wikipedia: Be Our Guest (opened Nov. 19, 2012) was the only publicly accessible Magic Kingdom venue to serve wine and beer (available exclusively at Dinner) prior to December 23, 2016, when additional restaurants at Magic Kingdom added it to their menus.

There's a book called "Cleaning the Kingdom: Insider Tales of Keeping Walt's Dream Spotless" which is a fun read, and makes the Disney custodial job sound actually pretty attractive - better than standing in one place for 8 hours serving fries or loading rides, or wearing a hot costume.

The idea of Disney funerals isn't such a bad idea. Dress your favorite uncle's body up as Snow White and put him in a glass coffin attended to by the dwarfs. Did your teenage daughter kill herself from depression? Have Eeyore officiate the memorial. The possibilities are endless!

About KEN LEVINE

Named one of the BEST 25 BLOGS by TIME Magazine. Ken Levine is an Emmy winning writer/director/producer/major league baseball announcer. In a career that has spanned over 30 years Ken has worked on MASH, CHEERS, FRASIER, THE SIMPSONS, WINGS, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, BECKER, DHARMA & GREG, and has co-created three series. He and his partner wrote the feature VOLUNTEERS. Ken has also been the radio/TV play-by-play voice of the Baltimore Orioles, Seattle Mariners, San Diego Padres. and Dodger Talk. He hosts the podcast HOLLYWOOD & LEVINE

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