Dear internet,
I am wanting to see Dave Attell at the South Beach Comedy Festival next week, but I don’t want to go alone. Do you want to go with me?? Tickets are not exactly cheap, but I imagine it will be worth it. And if you have a hook-up for tickets, I’m not really willing to say I’m the Iron Chef of sucking cock, but I AM willing to say that I have never had any complaints! So please keep that in mind when comp tickets are being passed out! I really want to go!

Hole. Lee. Kwap!! Can I just say, BEST PARTY OF THE YEAR!? I was at it. Tonight! It was awesome!!
So, tonight was the MiamiBeach411.com Christmas party, and it was awesome! It wasn’t next level in the sense of bare titties… I mean breasts! being showed… Or privates being showed, in general… But it was very Next Level as far as the people that I got to meet!

Number 1: I was happy that I got to talk with Rick from stuckonthepalmetto.blogspot.com again! He’s one of my favorites! Aslo, I was stoked that I FINALLY got to meet Alex, too.
Number 2: I got to meet Miami Fever!! I have such a super hard boner for his pictures!! I mean, his pictures make me want to NEVER touch a camera again because I KNOW that I can’t go next level like he does, and it kind of bums me out. But his pictures don’t bum me out at all! They’re all A+++!
Number 3: Actually, number 3 and 4 are a toss-up between Restaurant Gal and Sara from All Purpose Dark. I think RG was a a tiny bit stoked that I was familiar with her blog, but Sara went Next Level by dropping an F-bomb! I love girls that aren’t afraid to tell it how it is. Especially if it includes swearing!!
Number 5: zOMG I MET DAN RENZI FROM MTV’s REAL WORLD!!1!!1oneOneONE ELEVEN11!!! So, we’re going around the room, and everyone is introducing themselves, and this guy that I hadn’t yet seen, but was sitting 4 people down from me, stands up and says “Hello, I’m Dan… I write for the Miami New Times and I apologize for… blah blah blah.” My point being, he didn’t say he was on The Real World, and I was like… “WTF?? This dude looks familiar… HOLY CRAP!!! Is that Dan from the Real World: Miami??” Then I asked a couple of people I was sitting next to if that was the dude, and nobody knew, but then Sara confirmed and I think a little paternal cool whip came out at that moment! Because… Nobody knows what it was like for me to be in college in Walla Walla Washington, watching The Real World: Miami, and thinking about how cool those people were, even if they started out as regular Joe’s, for the most part. I mean, I think (as in, I’m 99/9% SURE) I still have the entire season on VHS!! Seriously, before I came to Miami, everything I knew about Miami came from Miami Vice and The Real World! In fact, if not for The Real World, I maybe never would have came here in the first place! So that was kind of a big deal to me, but I never really talked to him, because I didn’t want to be all… “Remember that time when you said XYZ to Flora?? OMG THAT WAS SO AWESOME!!!” Or whatever. I don’t know… You can say what you will, but it was neat to me!
Other than that, I mostly hung out with my usual crew… Tere, Maria, Yvette, and Scott.

Obviously, Gus and Michelle deserve MAJOR PROPS for organizing this party, and, most of all, footing the bill! I hope it was worth it for them, because it was for sure worth it to me!

FECK! I just had a whole bunch of stuff typed here about my new laptop, my busted knee and phone, but I accidentally hit the back button on my mouse and now it’s all gone.
I’m way too lazy to type it all out again so you get the nutshell edition! I’m an idiot for not saving often.

Tried to take a picture of construction finally happening at the 12th and Washington Starbucks today, but I just got snow on my screen and actually had to pull the battery to get it to function as a phone. My phone also stopped getting a working signal while I am at home a few weeks ago, and apparently this ailment has spread to work now too. In short, I am in dire need of a new phone. The problem is that the Apple phone doesn’t come out until sometime next month (oh hay it’s THIS month now!!) so I have to work with a mostly busted RAZR and wait for the iPhone, or take it and get a blackjack instead. I am very undecided on what to do.
Speaking of busted, have you seen my right knee lately? This knee has been giving me grief for 3 years now, and I have no idea why. As far as I know, I never injured it. I just remember waking up and being like “Oh hey, my knee is sore!” and it’s pretty much been that way ever since. Except sometimes it’s a lot more sore than usual. Like for the past week or 2! the dang thing swelled up and has been super sore/tender. Again, I have no idea why and I have no plan to find out why/treat the problem. I have faith that it will return to it’s usual lower level of pain sooner or later. It hasn’t been too much of an issue lately… I just try to stay off of it other than walking to work, which is super close. However, I am quickly running out of food so I might be having a lot of meals delivered if this thing doesn’t sort itself out in a hurry. A ride all the tori anus way to Publix at this point in time (and pain) is not sounding like such a great time. Maybe if they had a killer sale on ice cream or something it would be worth it. Otherwise, I’ll keep La Sandwicherie and Cheeseburger Baby on speed dial. Except… I have to limp outside to even make any calls! Hurry up with the iPhone already!! I’m getting hungry.

Here is where being a local pays off. I just walked over to the bank and there were like 10 people standing in line for the 2 ATMs in front of the bank. Since I live 2 blocks away, I know that there is another ATM in the drive-through lane, so I walked over there, got my money, and walked back and it didn’t look like the line had shortened any. Im on my way to contact my Upminster Locksmith so i can pay him for his services.

This is happening across the street right now!
It is very loud, yet not sounding all that great.
If you’re interested, come on over!
I don’t know who any of these people are, but some kind of hot girl with nasty teef axed me if I knew if John B was over there. I guess John B is kind of a big deal.