AFW - FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

Like every good newsgroup, AFW has a list of frequently asked questions (FAQ):

Q1. Why is this board called alt.fan.warlord
when it doesn't seem to be a fan board?
Q2. Why is everyone posting signatures here?
Q3. My news software truncates my sig at four lines,
how can I get a cool sig like the ones I see here?
Q4. What is the inner circle? Is it a rock group?
Q5. What does YHGMTPOAFW mean? What does FOADYPW mean? What does YHBT mean?
People keep saying those whenever I post anything to this board.
Q6. I'm really bad at ascii art, can someone post
an ascii picture of a cat being run over?
Q7. Where can I get a pirated copy of the Atari game, Warlords?
Q8. What is this "stealth whitespace" I keep hearing about?
Q9. Who is Perth? Is he that guy from Rush?
Q10. Why does my picture of the USS Enterprise
get all chopped up when I put it in my sig?
Q11. What is the McQuary limit?
[posting pictures]
Q12. My newsreader only accepts text. How can I get
it to use this cool sig I made in CorelDraw?
[newsreader setup]
Q13. Why does everyone keep telling me my sig is getting posted twice?
I swear I only include it once when I post.
Q14. What is KL and why does it have to approve my borders?
Q15. My brother's sig got more points than mine - what did I do wrong?
Q16. My sig has 259 asterisks and it's never missing any when I post it,
So why does everyone still think there's an asterisk shortage?
Q17. What's so special about September? Why does everyone keep talking
about September? Sorry I don't know what it's like here normally --
I just got my news access.
Q18. My sysop says I can't have numbers in my handle.
How can I crack the board so my handle is B1FF?

"But - there are no answers!"
Exactly. A list of FAQs is a
list of *questions*, after all.

oh, alright then... here are some answers, too:

Alt.Fan.Warlord Frequently Asked Questions, September Edition 1995!
Now with answers by jani@ifi.uio.no [990709]
Q1. Why is this board called alt.fan.warlord
when it doesn't seem to be a fan board?
A1. AFW *is* a "fan board". It's not about the *game* "Warlords", however...
Q2. Why is everyone posting signatures here?
A2. Yes - why? Think about it!
Q3. My news software truncates my sig at four lines,
how can I get a cool sig like the ones I see here?
A3. Steal one, like everyone else.
Q4. What is the inner circle? Is it a rock group?
A4. No, it's a group of zucchini heads in deep yoghurt.
[abbreviations]
Q5. What does YHGMTPOAFW mean? What does FOADYPW mean? What does YHBT mean?
People keep saying those whenever I post anything to this board.
A5. YHGMTPOAFW. FOAD, YPW! (BTW, YHBT, HTH, HAND.)
A5. RTF AFW acronym page!
[ascii pictures requests]
Q6. I'm really bad at ascii art, can someone post
an ascii picture of a cat being run over?
A6. Ask Kibo for a copy of his signature.
Q7. Where can I get a pirated copy of the Atari game, Warlords?
A7. Try looking at ftp.warez.org first,
they have some really awesome stuff!
Q8. What is this "stealth whitespace" I keep hearing about?
A8. First you see it, then you don't.
A8. You must not look at it directly but right next to it.
Q9. Who is Perth? Is he that guy from Rush?
A9. Yep, the little guy.
A9. The sig capital of the world!
Q10. Why does my picture of the USS Enterprise
get all chopped up when I put it in my sig?
A10. It's probably due to a distortion of the time-space continuum.
If you modulate your .sig emitter to transmit signals only
in the McQ spectrum, it will - with a 97.45 % probability -
remove you from the anomaly.
Q11. What is the McQuary limit?
A11. "There once was a man from Nantucket,
who lost his .sig in a bucket.
Five lines was too long,
columns 80 just strong,
so he didn't know where to tuck it."
A11. The limit on signature size: "4x80".
[posting pictures]
Q12. My newsreader only accepts text. How can I get
it to use this cool sig I made in CorelDraw?
A12. Click them together and say "There's no place like home" twice.
If that fails, stroke the chicken gently.
[newsreader setup]
Q13. Why does everyone keep telling me my sig is getting posted twice?
I swear I only include it once when I post.
A13. I'm sure someone can help you with that question, but
unfortunately, someone is busy right now. Please hold.
A13. RTF newsreader manual!
[...]
Q14. What is KL and why does it have to approve my borders?
A14. Ask the Oracle!
[signature evaluation points]
Q15. My brother's sig got more points than mine - what did I do wrong?
A15. You didn't kill the daemon on level 42.
[asterisk shortage]
Q16. My sig has 259 asterisks and it's never missing any when I post it,
So why does everyone still think there's an asterisk shortage?
A16. So *you* are the one hoarding them all!
[eternal September]
Q17. What's so special about September? Why does everyone keep talking
about September? Sorry I don't know what it's like here normally --
I just got my news access.
A17. September is the time when people like you get their accounts.
Hint, hint.
[sender's address]
Q18. My sysop says I can't have numbers in my handle.
How can I crack the board so my handle is B1FF?
A18. You can post as any user using whatever domain name you like.
No, we won't tell you how. Go read the FAQ to alt.2600...