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I recently moved, and had to reset up my WiFi system. I have an airport extreme that I set up a wireless network with, and (after some navigating) it connects fine to my laptop.

It's a different story on my iPhone though...

The WiFi icon just doesn't appear in the upper left of the iPhone screen.

When I go to Settings > WiFi, the phone sees the network I set up. But the phone itself never displays the WiFi icon... and is only connecting to the internet through the abysmal AT&T 3G network.

I have even gone to Settings > General > Reset > Reset Network Settings... hoping that would work. When I return to Settings > WiFi, I find my network and submit the password. The phone says it is joining... but then the same problem remains and I can't connect via WiFi.

Which AE do u have - a dual band model? Are you sure that you have entered the correct password into the iPhone?
Try going into Airport utility and changing the Network Password then entering that new password in both the laptop and iphone.

This may not be the same problem but I have a recurrent problem with my iPhone and Wi-Fi where it does connect to my Wi-Fi network but then as soon as I do anything that makes it go online, the Wi-Fi drops and I'm back to 3G.

I've found that if I go into the set-up page of my router and changed the Wi-Fi mode from Mixed to G only then my iPhone is happy again for several months. Then it will suddenly decide it doesnt like my Wi-Fi network again and I have to log back into my router and change it back from G only to Mixed.

I've definitely got the password right. But I've changed it a couple of times in "Airport Utility" and then on my iPhone... to no avail. What's even weirder is that I can pick up a neighbor's WiFi (which doesn't require a password) just fine! I can't pick up my own... which is annoying.

In terms of the response about the "setup page of my router," I don't see where it is that I toggle between G and Mixed. Is that in the Airport Utility somewhere? I don't see it... (sorry! not a programmer...)

Kyle probably at the stage where we need to know more, which version of Extreme do u have and what OS are you using? There are are few variations that can vary choices of settings.
When u set it up again after the move did you use the Setup Assistant to do all the settings? And i take it the iPh was connecting no problem at the old place.

Thanks for your help. But I actually figured out a way to make it work...

The problem was airport extreme, and not the iPhone.

If you're interested.... I am running an older macbook pro... with os x 10.4.11 and an airport extreme (model a1143).

I decided to try to make the wifi system work with an older airport express I had. After some putzing, that did the trick... and my laptop, apple tv, and iphone all connected via wifi with airport express.

Then I took my airport extreme, and did a factory reset, but I joined the pre-existing wifi network that I'd created with the airport express.

It worked. The only thing that I can tell that is different is in the Airport Extreme's "Internet" tab... where it is no longer in "Bridge Mode," but is now set to "Share a public IP address."

I don't know what that really means, but since it is working, I'm not messing with it!