I never saw this coming, though, well, I’m not really
surprised; he’s a three-time loser in the marriage game now. Three strikes and
you’re out, or maybe three strikes and you can come out?

I thought the Republican National Convention—with the Ron
Paulettes and the Not-Romney’s going up against the GOP machine—was going to be
the biggest, hottest mess of the year. Not so. That title goes to the
Cruise-Cruise divorce.

Yup. Apparently Katie has snapped out of her
Scientology-stupor and has filed for divorce from Tommy Grrrrl. And it is not
going to be a pleasant split.

See, according to a statement from Tommy’s handlers, he was
“blindsided” by the announcement….in much the same way that Nicole Kidman was
blindsided when Tommy filed for divorce from her.

Payback is a bitch, and it’s ALLEGEDLY Katie
Holmes. Who ALLEGEDLY didn't sign the standard Promise To Stay Married To Tommy Grrrl For Ten Years like Wife ! and Wife 2.

Katie, I guess she won’t be answering to Kate anymore, filed
for divorce yesterday, citing that old Hollywood standby, “irreconcilable
differences.” But the ugly comes in because she has also asked for sole legal
custody and “primary residential custody” of little Suri.

In other words: Tommy will be a weekend Dad, at best. See,
Katie saw what happened when Tommy dropped Nicole, with their children, and she
is not about to let him do the same to their daughter.

This.Could.Get.Ugly.

And fun, you know, for me!

Matt Lauer is a douche.

Yeah...he's really gonna miss her

Ever since the Today Show ratings took a hit
earlier this year—after being on top for about a hundred years—reports have
surfaced that Lauer wanted new co-host Ann Curry gone.You know, because it’s all her fault.And now comes the sweepstakes over who takes
Curry’s spot. One story I heard is that Hoda Kotb, who co-hosts The Today
Show’s 5thor
6thhour—alongside
Kathie Lee Drunkard—would be stepping in; and that would make room for a new
co-host for Kathie Lee, in one Regis Philbin.Well, that’s interesting. Of course, other
names crept in, too, like Savannah Guthrie, or maybe me! But one name that
isn’t being tossed into the hat is that of Matt Lauer’sALLEGEDformer
mistress, Natalie Morales.Yup. The same Natalie who may have schtupped
her some Lauer. And the same Natalie whoALLEGEDLYhas a young child who looks a little
Lauer-esque.Yeah,thatNatalie
Morales. But it seems that, as much as Lauer likes Natalie, he wasn’t keen on
having her sit by his side…at least on TV.And maybe that bit of news will see Natalie
Morales leave The Today Show and NBC as well.A source—and I’m betting on Ann Curry—says:
“If Natalie’s passed over for the job, she’s going to leave next.”See, Natty has been with Today since 2006
and was thought to be Meredith Vieira’s replacement when she left last year,
but Curry snagged the job. And Natty has never been happy about that, you know.The source—bye Ann—says: “This will be the
second time [Natalie] has been passed over for the top job. And she’s not
happy.”Hmmm, since Matty just scored a new contract
worth some $25 million a year, maybe Natty could go the paternity suit route
and sue him for some coins?Just a thought.

Matty & Natty

Now, while we’re still on The Today Show
kerfuffle, let’s talk about who might be truly responsible for keeping Natalie
Morales away from Matt Lauer and his lap.Rumor has it that it’s none other than
Matty’s second wife, Annette Roque, who hasalready tried to leave Lauer once before,
going so far as to file for divorce before ultimately deciding that Matty was
her Goose that Laid the Golden Contract.

And, maybe, well, Annette got wind that NBC
was dumping Curry and that Natalie Morales might be getting that job and she
hightailed her Louboutins over to Lauer’s office and laid down the law:
No.Mistress.Cohost.EVER!

Matty & The Missus

It seems that if Natalie is even being considered for the job, Annette is
threatening to divorce Matty.It’s gonna get ugly.If Natty doesn’t get the gig, she’s out.If Natalie gets the gig, Mrs. Lauer is out.And if Annette leaves, well a huge chunk of
Matty’s millions goes with her, and you know he won’t let that happen; hair
plugs are expensive.So, my guess is that Natalie and Ann might
be cleaning pout their desks at the same time, and Annette Roque will be
getting a lot of new shoes.

The tabloids are throwing a lot of different
stuff at Johnny Depp about why he left his not-wife after fourteen years and a
couple of kids.But it doesn’t seem to be affair-fueled
gossip; no, it just seems that Johnny was, well, bored.A source—and it may be one of the two women
rumored to be dating Johnny now….bisexual Amber Heard o dumped her girlfriend
for Depp, or his publicist Robin Baum—who claim, “Johnny was
bored senseless and he wanted out of the relationship for a really long time.”But rumors are that Johnny, who was seen
last year exciting the home of one of those Olsen troll dolls wearing the same
clothes he was wearing the night before—Walk of Shame—is seeing multiple women
now.

Amber. Robin. A Troll. The girl behind the counter at Starbucks. My next door neighbor...I mean a creepy looking guy has been sniffing around over there for a few weeks now.Well, I guess if you’ve got two or three or
seven girlfriends that whole notion of being bored is just flies out the window.Just saying.

Oh Madonna. A nipple to stay in the news, followed by a
moon shot for publicity. Then the leaking of your tour rider to show how crazy
you really are, and to keep your face, or ass, on the front page. Whatever will you do next? I mean, other
than losing the British accent and recording some decent music?Well, it seems that Madge has revealed that
she has a team of cleaners come in after she leaves her hotel room, her
backstage areas, her bathroom, her limo, her toilet, her bidet, so that her DNA
can be completely scrubbed from every surface.Yup. MDNA don’t leave no DNA. In true diva style AKA a desperate need for
publicity, Madge has set up a “sterilization team” to wipe away any DNA—hair,
skin, saliva--that may have been dropped in her rooms after she leaves.In fact, obsessive compulsive Madge orders
that only she and her entourage are allowed ­backstage passes. In fact, concert
promoter Álvaro Ramos, overseeing the ­Portuguese leg of the spectacle, says:
“We have to take extreme care, like I have never seen for any other artist. We
cannot even look at the dressing room, after it is ready, or even open the
door. We can only enter after her sterilization team has left the room. There
will not be any of Madonna’s DNA, any hair, or anything. They will clean up ­everything.
In the end it is all to protect her and make her feel comfortable. I do
understand it, but it is taken to extremes.”Protect her? I wonder if it isn’t being done to protect
those who use the spaces after Madge.God only knows where she’s been.

So, Johnny “Bathing Suit Area” Travolta has
been keeping a low profile since the dozens and dozens of men have come forward
to say that he sexually harassed, groped, or propositioned them at spas all
over the world.But even Travolta has to come out of hiding
at some point, eh? And what will he do when he does that? How will he act? What
might he say and do?Well, Johnny and his Scientology-bot wife,
Kelly Preston, who knows which side of the bank account to be on,were at the Savages premiere in LA last week and they were
giving all sorts of PDA.You know, cuz people think Travolta’s a big
old nympho-mo so he and the missus have to “act” like a loving couple.Let’s just dissect the shots:

Her lips say "Happy" while her eyes say "Ick."

Smile baby. And act like you lime it and aren't thinking about that bottle of Purell in your purse.

Notice how Kelly is looking at the camera to make sure they get this "candid" shot?

Of course, the story is that they arrived
separately, worked the carpet and their tongues, together, and then left
separately.Yeah, I ain’t fooled.

What does a freak do when he gets fired from
one TV show for being an alcoholic, drug-taking, prostitution-buying,
knife-wielding, spousal batterer and then gets a new show and needs some press?Well, if you’re Charlie Sheen, you head back
to New York—which was the beginning of his very public meltdown last year—to do
a round of press for your new show, the high-lariously entitledAnger Managementand you trash your hotel room.And, as a result, Sheen hasALLEGEDLYbeen banned from all Ritz Hotel properties,
and I’m thinking he’s also been banned from ever eating a Ritz Cracker or even
singing Putting On The Ritz.Maybe they can start calling his TV show The
Ritz and he can get banned from there as well?

No Lohan news this week.I guess she was able to score the good stuff
and holed up in a hotel somewhere.Maybe next week……?

Friday, June 29, 2012

Tech. Sgt. Erwynn
Umali and his partner, Will Behrens, were united in a civil union
ceremony last week. That's nice, eh?

But what makes it
different is that these two men had their civil union ceremony at the military
base where Umali is stationed. And dozens of friends and
family members attended the ceremony which was presided over by Kay Reeb, a
Navy chaplain with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, who also serves
at Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst.

Erwynn Umali and Will
Behrens:

“We are so honored to be a
part of this historic moment to be one of the first gay couples allowed to
unite in a civil union on a military base,” the couple said in a statement
after the ceremony. We hope to be an inspiration to others in the LGBT
community that struggle with the challenge of marriage equality. And that this
issue is not just about the military, but the equal sacrifice and shared
burdens of our loved ones who are civilians.”

And Reeb, who has never
presided over a civil union ceremony before, was delighted to take part:

"I told them the same thing I tell every couple — love each other and
trust in each other and in God, that’s what keeps us together.”

Also attending the
ceremony was former Marine Staff Sgt. Eric Alva, the first U.S. service member
seriously injured in the Iraq War. He later came out as gay and worked
diligently in the efforts to overturn DADT:

"It’s blessing for me to be
here today. A historic event like this shows that progress is being made.”

Air Force Capt. Ryan
Quinn, another guest, said:

“I really do think this is an important event.
And I was happy to be here with them and their families. The amount of support
I’ve seen for them from the people (at the base) and the military community
makes me proud to serve in the Air Force.”

Hopefully that same pride
that the military is showing toward the LGBT community since the end of DADT
will one day translate to the civilian community. Maybe one day they will
attend our weddings as we have often attended theirs.

A
bill, the Military Spouses Equal Treatment Act of 2012 [MSET], has been introduced
in Congress and itwould change the definition of "spouse" in
four areas of U.S. Code
related to recognition, support, and benefits for married service members and
veterans. These changes would ensure that spouses of the same gender are
eligible for key military benefits.

Equality say
what?

Aubrey
Sarvis, executive director of Servicemembers Legal Defense Network [SLDN]
says:"Our nation's senior military leaders
and commanders on the ground are increasingly uncomfortable with administering
two classes of recognition, support and benefits for our nation's service
members - one for straight service members and a different one for their gay
and lesbian peers. There cannot be two classes of service members, and this
legislation addresses that effectively."

And, in
addition, the Department of Defense General
Counsel Jeh Johnson also mentioned the disparity between same-sex and
opposite-sex couples: "The repeal of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' exposes
certain inequalities between similarly situated couples in the military
community. This troubles many of our leaders."

The
bill was introduced by House Armed Services Committee Ranking Member, and
Democrat...naturally...Adam Smith of Washington. His bill adds a favorable
definition of "spouse" to Title 37 to provide greater uniformity of
benefits for same-sex spouses. Together with MSET, this new bill would extend
dozens of important spousal benefits and support programs to same-gender
spouses, including coverage under TriCare insurance, an increased housing
allowance, and survivor benefits.

As
it should be, if all things were equal. So let's hope this bill passes, because
a step for same-sex married couples anywhere is progress for same-sex couples
everywhere.

"Channing told me, 'You have to use the stretcher and just get up on
this girl and grind your junk in her face. But this girl was not going to just
sit there and be ground upon. She started licking me in all kinds of special
places and we just kept going…It was one of those situations where you were in
an environment where moral parameters are not the same as they are if you're
doing a political drama. You just sort of have to say yes to everything and
embrace it."

As Carlos said, while watching Hugh Jackman, and his Huge
Ackman, kiss his wife at The Tony’s: Lucky bitch.

Seriously. Why.Couldn’t.That.Have.Been.Me!

Adam Lambert, on being a gay role model:

"At the beginning I was a little bit like, 'I don't
know what to say, I don't know how to be that role model,' even though all of a
sudden people are telling me I am. One of the things I find very gratifying now
is that I have grown a lot more comfortable with my position and I'm embracing
the opportunity to be able to address this stuff through music...In so many
cases, I find myself saying, I wanna be the really nice down-to-earth guy who
happens to be gay in order to set an example that it's not threatening. Then
there's another part of me that's like, no I wanna be fierce and ... do
whatever I want because I'm a rebel. I have that battle inside of me. I know a
lot of people do."

I think just coming out and living your life as an openly
gay, unapologetically gay, normal guy is being a role model.

It shows not only other gay people that it’s just fine
and dandy to be out, it also shows straight people that gay folks are normal,
and weird, and odd and different; just like straight people.

John Fugelsang, on the Cheney's and daughter Mary's lesbian
wedding:

"So on behalf of all the progressives
in America, Cheney family, allow me to say, “You’re welcome. Because while Dick
Cheney’s party spent decades calling people like Mary deviant or unnatural, the
liberals were fighting for her. When Karl Rove made same-sex marriage a wedge
issue to divide Americans in the 2004 election, liberals were writing the
checks to defeat that homophobic agenda. And when Fox News spent hundreds of
hours lying about people like Mary Cheney and calling them a threat to traditional
marriage, the very people Mary’s dad so deeply despises were the ones standing
up for her liberty. So you’re welcome, Cheneys, we were happy to do
it."

Isn’t it funny that the GOP and its Band of Homophobes have been silent
about Mary Cheney’s wedding, but they seem to get their panties in a twist over
every gay Democrat who gets married?

Pot.Kettle.Hypocrite.

Pablo Monroy, a 24-year-old
Navy vet, on asking his partner to marry him:

“Even when I was growing up I wanted to get married,
settle down, have a family...white picket fence. And even after I realized I
was gay I still wanted that, with whoever [sic] I loved.”

Of course you wanted that. We all grow up wanting the
same things; some of us to be married, some of us not. But the fact is that it
shouldn’t be different because you’re gay.

It’s all about being equal, man.

George Takei, former Boy Scout, on the Boy Scouts of
America:

“Some of my best memories from my boyhood are of my
scouting days. I played bass bugle in our troop’s drum and bugle corps. We
marched in Fourth of July parades. We learned teamwork and brotherhood from
camping together. The Boy Scouts built my character. As an adult, I was shocked
and deeply disappointed to learn that the Scouts discriminate against LGBT
people. This is contrary to the ideals of equality and fair play that I hold
dear. The Boy Scouts must change.”

I was never a Boy Scout. I was a Cub Scout and I loathed
it.

Camping? Honey, there is no room service! But I digress.

The BSA needs to change, and the change will come from
pressure of both former Boy Scouts and current Boy Scouts.

Inclusiveness is the way to be.

Debra Messing, making a joke at a Trevor project event:

"I'd be devastated if my son grows up to be a hetero
(sexual). As a parent you just envision a certain life for your child. I mean,
if he's straight, think of all the fabulous things he's going to miss out
on!"

You’re preachin’ to the choir, Grace, er, Debra.

But, you know, we gays love our straights and we’ll help
your son discover what’s fabulous in life, even if his sexual orientation is
straight.

"I have purposely and
strategically put together a very diverse and inclusive leadership team and
with City Council we have begun to tackle these issues head on. That's why in
April I announced a non-discrimination ordinance that would ensure that the
city did not discriminate in its hiring or employment practices on the basis of
sexual orientation and gender identity. I am so very proud that our City
council passed that with a vote of 9-0. In our City Hall, it's okay to say
gay."

Maybe there is hope for
Tennessee yet, if they elect leaders like Rogero.

Hopefully her brand of understanding
and acceptance and tolerance, and just good common sense and intelligence, will
rub off on Tennessee.

Fingers crossed!

Basil Maglaris, Kraft's director of corporate affairs, on Pride Oreo:"We are excited to illustrate what is making history today in a fun and playful way. Kraft Foods has a proud history of celebrating diversity and inclusiveness. We feel the OREO ad is a fun reflection of our values. There has been a lot of buzz about the image, and it shows how relevant OREO is to people even after 100 years."