When you have a trusted pet, you want that pet by your side at all times. A source of comfort, of joy, and unconditional love, a beloved dog never lets you down or talks back, and always wants to bestow a good face lick or two.

Awwww, Fluffy!

Unfortunately, even dogs are mortal, and even the most beloved pet eventually has to make his way into the Great Beyond. When you find yourself sad and alone, despondent over the loss of your friend, never fear! We at the MoWTF Gift Shoppe can help you!

Just bring us the scrotum of the dearly departed and our MoWTF taxidermists will turn his junk into a beautiful set of nuggetized testicle earrings, just for you! For an additional fee they may be set into a necklace or ring. Even though Fluffy may have shuffled off his mortal coil, he can still be your trusted companion at work or cocktail parties!

Memories are made of this.

Non-sequitur recommended tag: Great Comet. As I am not sure which comet they’re assigning the definition “great” I’m going to assume they mean the Great Comet of 1680, which was the first comet discovered by telescope. Thanks, WordPress! How weird of you.

Occasionally at MoWTF, we run into Things that Look Like…a Particular Other Thing. Now, we don’t advocate that EVERYTHING that is an elongated ovoid with tapered ends looks like…this thing. Marquise-cut diamonds, for example, just look like a bauble I wouldn’t mind dangling from a chain on my neck.

Who here has read the Harry Potter books? I don’t mean one in particular, I mean any one of them. Because it just takes one casual reading and/or viewing to know that “Avada Kedavra” is the killing curse. Considered an Unforgivable, “Avada Kedavra” brings instant death to the person against whom it is uttered. It’s what Voldemort used when he killed Harry’s parents, and it’s what Lucius Malfoy tried to use against Harry himself (though completion of the spell was prevented thanks to Dobby knocking Lucius into next week, but that’s another post for another day).

Go get ’em, Dobby!

Which brings us to our latest exhibit in Things That Ought Not to Go Together. Fact: it is creepy to combine tween/young adult fiction with lingerie. For example, I have never seen a Black Beauty codpiece (let that stew in your brain for a while) or an Anne of Green Gablesmerry widow.

Not that that wouldn’t be interesting.

Also fact: it is creepy to combine sex and death, which is part of my objection to the (hopefully fading) vampire trend.

So in a hellish confluence of bad and creepy ideas, we at the Museum of WTF proudly present:

Who doesn’t like a gooeyooey grilled cheese sandwich, crispy with butter and browned bread on the outside, and warm and velvety-melty on the inside? Sure, you can fancy it up with tomatoes and herbs and garlic, but a simple grilled cheese, done right, is sure to bring a smile to every hungry boy or girl. Like this one!

Will you feed my dolly too, Mother?

Though I do hope you note, she has the same look of feral bloodlust on her face as does the Zuni doll that chased Karen Black to possessed murderousness in Trilogy of Terror.

Sometimes, cars can start to smell manky. It’s not that anything is wrong, particularly (though maybe there is). But you know. People sit in them, sweat in them, maybe smoke in them, eat falafel in them (learn from my experience people…mistake!). In order to help eliminate the accumulated Odor of Life, companies have taken it upon themselves to create air fresheners that hang from the rear view mirror. The pine-tree-shaped car freshener has become iconic in American culture…why? I’m not sure. But everyone knows about the little trees and regards them fondly.

See,the thing is, the world is a pretty weird place on its own, and you can see this within moments when you stop to take a look at things. WTFery doesn’t necessarily have to arise because something has been manipulated (painted, taxidermied, whatever). Sometimes, it just happens. Organically. Even better, occasionally someone is there with a camera and manages to snap a picture more expressive than any words. And we, the lucky ones, can take some time to sit back and contemplate nature’s boundless wonder.

Like this, for example.

A flying squirrel, trying out for the Martha Graham Dance Company.

That is a photograph, people, of the noble flying squirrel. Not an artist’s misrepresentation. Not an arranged taxidermy. A photograph.Yeah. Crazy-ass animal kingdom.

Imagine seeing this hurtling toward your head in the woods at night. I’m willing to bet the camera was in the right position because the photographer was swinging it by its strap in self-defense. It goes off, everyone’s happy. Because seriously. WTF?

So to make us all feel better, here’s a little Frank Sinatra, Come Fly With Me, live. Before the travesty of auto-tune.

And: today’s completely jacked suggested tag from WordPress: Mil Mi-8. Which is apparently a troop transport helicopter-slash-gunship. Why do you suggest these things to me, WordPress? I don’t see a single rotor making that squirrel float. But now I’ve mentioned it so I can tag it, all because you suggested it, WordPress. I hope you’re pleased with yourself.

The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.

With my most humble apologies to George Orwell and all the beasts of England.

So, ahhh…

Well, there’s…

You know what? I’m just going to give this to you.

Do not imagine, comrades, that leadership is a pleasure!

Because seriously, WTF? I can’t even figure out a way to introduce this properly. Nominated as a MoWTF entry by Friend of the Museum Heather Wallace, this man-pig creature is, according to Dianna, “Horrifying and mesmerizing. It certainly meets my WTF standards.”

Indeed, that is what we strive for in our pursuit of WTFery.

That, and trying to understand the suggested tags WordPress generates. They suggested “French Army“? What what why? I mean, Animal Farm was an allegory about the rise of Stalinism, not about the French Army. It was written by a British guy. If I was referring to The Island of Dr. Moreau it would at least make some semblance of sense, since Moreau is clearly of French origin and he was all about the man-beasts. Now I have to link to it just because it makes no sense…unless the French are secretly creating a platoon of mutant man-beast soldiers.