Here I am on the internet café with the biggest fucking nignog reading every word.

Albert.In the Spongebob Squarepants episode titled "Have You Seen This Snail?" Spongebob accepts a paddle ball challenge where he has to hit it 29,998,559,671,349 times in a row. The only problem being the average person can only paddle ball at a rate of 2 hits per second. This means it would take 14,999,279,835,674 seconds to finish the challenge, which is equivalent to 4.75 millennia! This would be impossible for any creature, let alone a sponge, whose average lifespan is 20 years.

Albert.I'm Ryan Lochte, and this is the Rio Olympics. I swim here with my teammates and my son, Big Phelps. Every fake robbery in Rio has a story and a price. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know which authorities are gonna seize your passport.