Culture

It's easier to buy a gun than do these 100 things in America

Earlier this week, a reporter from The Star walked into a gun store and purchased an AR-15 — similar to the Sig Sauer MCX used in the Orlando massacre — in seven minutes flat.

Her experiment has been substantiated by others in the field. In fact, some guns, including pistols, have proven harder to get even though they're slower to recharge (and hypothetically less deadly). Despite the fact that Omar Mateen was on the FBI's terrorist watch list, he was able to legally purchase the deadly weapon.

That's why we've composed a list of 100 things that are harder to get than an AR-15. Americans love to queue even more than their British brethren — except, it seems, when it comes to guns.

1. Get birth control

In order to get birth control (pills, IUD, arm implant, etc.) you’re required to find a reputable gynecologist, make an appointment (sometimes weeks in advance), pay your copay, fill out paperwork, explain WHY you need it, obtain a prescription or schedule another appointment for insertion. Luckily, birth control has been free in the U.S. since 2012. Guns? A little bit longer than that.

5. Purchase a Kylie Lip Kit

6. Score Beyoncé concert tickets

Lightning fast bots and a slow Ticketmaster website made it nearly impossible for many fans. The tickets for Beyoncé’s Formation tour sold out in mere moments.

7. Pick up your driver's license at the DMV

It takes 34 minutes on average to get your drivers license at the DMV — assuming you’ve passed your exam, completed your probation period and brought in the approximately 12.7 million pieces of documentation required.

9. Qualify for child care

If you want free/affordable child care for your child, the government can sometimes help — provided you don’t mind waiting 30 days or more.

10. Receive affordable health care

It’s become progressively easier to get insurance in America — but it still takes an average 45 days to get approved for Medicaid.

11. Own this ridiculous thing

Want a shelter dog? It could take anywhere from two days to three weeks to legally adopt a pet, depending on the owner/shelter's regulations.

12. Get your tax return

TurboTax predicts it’ll take anywhere from 21 days to six-eight weeks to get your tax return in the mail.

13. Find a cure for the common cold

Dayquil does. Not. work.

14. Purchase Sudafed

Despite these medications being over-the-counter, you need to ask your pharmacist for a box and provide your photo I.D. and contact information when you buy. There is also a limit to how much you can buy per month, depend on your state and personal history.

15. Buy a new iPhone

Some consumers waited for days in line at their local Apple store when the iPhone 6 was launched, for reasons we don't totally understand.

16. Purchase anything at Trader Joe’s after 6 p.m. in New York.

Good luck getting home in time for dinner.

17. Get through security at airports

Beyond showing your I.D. and boarding pass, some airports also require you to take out any liquids and your laptop, and walk through a full body X-ray (or a pat-down) for TSA screening. Plus, no one is asking gun owners to take off their shoes in public.

18. See your doctor

Even if you have great insurance, you may still need to wait weeks for an appointment and explain why you need treatment. The average wait time at a doctor's office is 19 minutes, 16 seconds. After dozens of tests and insurance approvals, you might get what you need. Maybe.

19. Become a citizen

Becoming a citizen can take six months to a year — but for thousands of Americans, it can take many more years (just don’t ask Donald Trump).

20. Talk to tech support

Yes, in the three hours I waited to talk to you, I DID unplug my printer and plug it back in again.

21. Getting unemployment

Not only is the paperwork ridiculous for trying to prove you meet your state’s criteria (which varies from state-to-state), you may find yourself on the phone for hours if you ever need to dispute something (and you will). New Yorkers wait an average of three to four weeks to get their first payment.

22. Get in vitro fertilization

Getting IVF can take anywhere from four to six weeks and over $12,000 of fun, fun fun.

23. Adopt a child

Are you a caring adult who want to bring a beautiful child into your home and give him or her a family? Sounds great! Please hold for the next two to seven years.

24. Earn teacher certification

Every state is different when it comes to teacher requirements, but generally, new teachers much submit paperwork, identification, a background check, fingerprints and log months' worth of hours to get certified for the most thankless job in the country.

25. Roast a turkey

It takes 10-15 minutes per pound to fully cook a turkey in the oven. Add that up against your 20 lb. bird and you have dinner on the table in five hours — which is plenty of time to drive to a local gun shop and back with a new firearm.

26. Graduate from high school

It takes four years to get all your required credits. Enjoy your summer vacation.

27. Get solar panels

You want to save the planet, and that’s a beautiful thing. Be prepared to wait anywhere from five weeks to six months as the Earth slowly turns to fire.

28. Buy a handgun instead of an AR-15

In Florida (and in many other states), you need to wait three days to buy a 9mm handgun. There is no waiting period for an assault rifle.

29. Cross Manhattan from east to west on foot

Manhattan is two miles across. While some could make the journey in 30 minutes, other pedestrians (particularly tourists who don’t know where they’re going), might need an hour.

30. Find a seat on the L train after 6 p.m.

There is no hope.

31. Get published (by a legitimate publishing company)

Odds of writing a New York Times best seller are 220 to 1. Successfully buying a gun? Much more likely.

32. Find love on Tinder

Forever alone.

33. Hang up on your mom

But wait, she wants to tell you this hilarious story about the new curtains in the living room!

42. Get paroled in texas

43. Get an abortion

There is no waiting period to get some types of gun in Florida. However, in order to get an abortion, a woman has to get an ultrasound, receive counseling and then wait 24 hours until she can get the procedure (though the measure has been temporarily halted).

44. Sell lemonade

In Iowa, you need a business permit and food license to sell something as simple as lemonade, even if you’re just an 8-year-old trying to buy an Xbox. You do not need a license to sell guns online.

45. Get closure

You’ve returned all their stuff, said all your goodbyes, but your heart will hold onto that pain — forever.

46. Get a vital organ

If you need a kidney transplant, you might be on the waiting list for 5 years or more if you don’t have a relative that’s a good match.

47. Get a shot in flu season

While vaccination rates vary worldwide, people all across the United States have waited as long as two months so they don’t projectile vomit on their boss.

50. Marry

51. Expunge your criminal record

One of five Americans has a criminal record in the United States. Sixty percent of employers said they would “probably not” hire someone with a criminal record. Even those who don’t face charges can find themselves with a lingering arrest record, making it harder to access housing and find employment.

52. Cut someone’s hair

If you want to become a paid professional barber, that’s great! In Texas, be prepared to sit through of 1,500 hours of training/labor you will never be compensated for. You also need a permit.

53. Take a day off of work

Have a cold? We’re super sorry, but there’s actually no federal requirements for paid sick leave. Be prepared to quietly sniffle for the rest of your days.

54. Get into rehab

55. Find quality mental health treatment

About 43 million people are living in the U.S. with a diagnosable mental health disorder, and many are eligible for treatment under the Affordable Care Act. However, the U.S. is facing a shortage of certified psychiatrists and psychotherapists. If you are lucky enough to get coverage, finding a doctor that fits your personality and budget can be near impossible.

56. Get justice for survivors of sexual assault

57. Drink booze

You need to be 21 to get a nice glass of rosé, but 18 to buy an assault rifle in Florida.

58. Rent an apartment in New York

Be sure to have your upwards of $1,000 deposit, 15% broker’s fee, photo I.D., Social Security number, application, application fee, and summaries of all your bank accounts. And, sometimes, a guarantor application with all of the above for that person. The lesson: just don’t try.

59. Bring a dog into a restaurant

Many states allow permit holders to carry concealed weapons into a restaurant — and some even support open carry. So sure, bring your gun into that restaurant — but don't even think about your dog.

60. Break your cell phone contract

Verizon will forever be in your life.

61. Pay down credit card debt

Most people only pay the minimum when it comes to their credit card bill. If you have credit card debt at approximately $15,000 at a rate of 17% interest, it will take you a little over 11 years.

62. Hunt and fish

You need your Social Security Number to get a hunting or fishing license. Do you need one to buy a gun? You guessed it. Nope.

63. Find a spot in nursery school in New York City

Have fun beating out little Becky’s mom for that spot. Her cookies are amazing.

64. Go open water scuba diving

In Colorado, you need to take at least a three-day certification course that includes swimming lessons, pool diving and open water practice dives. In some states, you only need to take a quick online course to be considered educated enough for a gun permit.

65. Collect Social Security

You must be at least 62 years old to receive benefits and apply no more than four months before you retire. Oh, and if you’re under 44, get ready to work until you die because Social Security is projected to run out by 2034.

66. Collect SSDI

If you are disabled to the point you cannot work, you can apply for Social Security Disability payment. To do that you have to:

Apply

Prove you’re disabled “enough” (which is harder than you think)

Prove you don’t have enough income. You can’t make more than $1,130 per month. So, you can’t make more than about $12 an hour on a 20 hours-per-week job.

You can be denied if you:

You “refuse to cooperate” or take the prescribed treatment the Social Security office gives you.

If you’re an addict or committed a crime.

You move while receiving benefits and the office “can’t find you.”

67. Get payments and services from the VA

Even though veterans are America's “most precious resource,” veterans in the U.S. can wait as long for 3-6 months for specialized care.

68. Listen to your roommate complain about their day at work

How “crazy” is everyone at work? Oh, they’ll tell you. And tell you. And tell you.

69. Donate blood

Although France and other countries now allow gay men to donate blood, America’s Food and Drug Administration has refused to relax restrictions.

70. Quit your job

Remember your two weeks notice before you’re free.

71. Wait for a new ‘Game of Thrones’ episode

Besides spoilers, a whole seven days just to see if Ramsey Bolton is dead yet. A person could buy at least two handguns in that amount of time with a three-day waiting period for each.

76. Take a shower

77. Mail a package to the post office

Have you ever tried to mail a package in New York? If you haven’t, don’t. Don't even try to buy a stamp. It's not worth it.

78. Have pizza delivered

Domino's promises that they can get a pizza delivered to your door in “30 minutes or less.” Still, that’s more time than it takes to get an AR-15 in your hands. Cheesy goodness, why do you tease us so?

79. Find a bra that fits

No matter what the people at Victoria’s Secret say, they’re wrong.

80. Friendship

You’ve got to show up to their boring birthday parties and hear about their terrible dates and honestly — is the friendship worth it?

81. Master any skill

Author Malcolm Gladwell assesses that it takes 10,000 hours to master any skill. Imagine if every gun owner needed to put in this amount of time to learn gun safety.

82. Get sworn in as president

The odds of becoming president of the United States are 1 in 10,000,000. That is, if you survive the vetting, campaign ads, raise enough money and already have an established career.

83. Get an apology from Donald Trump

84. Change your name on Facebook

85. Officially change your name IRL

It’s a nightmare if you’re transgender, just got married or have any other reason to change your name. Depending on your state, you'll often need your birth certificate, a petition for a name change and you need to attend a hearing in front of a judge.

86. Get a passport

If you want a U.S. Passport, you’ll need an I.D., your application, passport photos which you have to take at whatever photo developing business you’re close to and a $110 fee. You also have to mail it in using the regular mail. It can take weeks or months to get it back.

87. Buy a car

Assuming everything is in order, it can take you as little as two hours to get a car. That’s still more time than it takes to get an assault rifle.

99. Commute to work

100. Get a driver’s license

To carry an AR-15 in some states, you do not actually need to have a gun ownership license or a permit. However, if you plan on driving a car, you need to have a learner’s permit for 6 months, take (and pass) a driver’s test, and bring your birth certificate, Social Security card and two proofs of address.

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