The Adventures of Southie Batman, Episode 1

The concept of Southie Batman was birthed right here in the FilmDrunk comments section, and it was just too good not to run with. So run with it we did. By myself and the commenter known as Chareth Cutestory.

Strangely, Gotham’s main Twisted Tea distribution center is the most well protected building in the city thanks to the efforts of Southie Batman. Unfortunately, Alex Rodriguez was brutally murdered last week.

My gad. This is a fackin’ treasure. Not since da days of fackin’ Shakespeah has anythin’ been betta written. Vince Mancini is a fackin’ vijanary! That cawksuckin wop can really write a page turna. It’s like he’s tryna say we all can be as great as Nomah one day!

The possibility that the next superman movie will have affleck wearing a cheap suit and aviators, with a fake mustache and a matchstick in his mouth asking when “cawbblepawt’s next shipment ovah to luthah’s gettin in” moved me from not going to see it to “probably standing up and cheering when it happens.”

So this fahckin Aahon Cahtah queeah thinks he can come into MY TOWN and play that shitty fahcking music… He don’t know this is New Kids city. I showed that fahcking cahcksuckahing queeah who the fahcking real batman was that night. I went off on him like I was fahcking Nomah playing the Mahinahs. It was a wicked pissah fo shuah.

This is a fackin blasphemy. If the lot ah yous had half a fackin’ brain in yoah fackin’ heads you’d be woahshippin’ my boy Ben Affleck for the actoh that he fackin’ is. He’s gonna park the fackin’ Batmobile in yoah fackin’ asses if you don’t watch out. You mahk my fackin words.