Relationships: Is Your Ex Giving You False Hope?

When a relationship comes to an end, each person can go their own way, or something else might take place. As a result of this, it could only be matter of days or even weeks before they are back together.

Round in Circles

In fact, this could be something that will take place more than once, and it could then be said that this shows that their relationship is not very stable. Therefore, even when they do get back together, this is not going to be an experience that will last for very long.

One of their friends could believe that this shows that they are not meant to be together. Another friend could say that the reason they keep getting back together again is because they are supposed to be together.

Two Views

If this was to take place, it could show that they have a romanticised view of what is taking place, and that it is not possible for them to see that something isn’t right. When someone doesn’t have this outlook, it can show that they are more in touch with reality of the situation.

At the same time, the person who believes that this shows that they are meant to be together could be right and the person who doesn’t could be wrong. Still, as times passes, it will gradually become clear as to who has the right outlook.

Support

And as a result of what is taking place, it could be normal for these people to talk to their friends about what is going on. They might just want them to listen, or they might ask for their advice.

If they were to ask them what they should do, this could end up going in one ear and out of the other. Yet, this can all depend on what they say, and if they are together or have broken up again.

Each Persons Experience

However, although two people are involved here, it doesn’t mean that both of them will behave in the same way. Instead, one person is likely to have a greater desire than the other to get back together.

Therefore, the person who wanted them to get back together at one point in time might not the person who does at another. So as long as the person who is being asked has the desire to return to how things were, this dynamic can continue to play out.

A Difference

If the relationship was to end and the one of them was no longer interested in going back to how things were, it won’t matter what they do. This will be the end, and one will need to gradually move on with their life.

Even so, when one has just broken up with someone, they may find that they are not interested in moving on with their life. It might be hard for them to imagine how their life can go on without them.

The First Time

And even if one has only broken up with someone once, they could still be in a lot of pain. The next step might be for them to see if they can rekindle their relationship, and there is always the chance that they will succeed.

What can define if this will take place is why the relationship ended in the first place, as if it was over something minor it can be a lot easier for this to occur. If their ex no longer wants to be with them and they are ready to move on, that could be it.

One Outcome

One could then get in touch with them and ask them if they would like to get together, and there will be no reason for their ex to lead them on. If they were to meet them, it might only be to tell them that it is over.

It will be hard for them to hear this, but at least it will give them the opportunity to move on. If they were to still believe that their ex will get back with them, it is not going to be due to what their ex has told them.

In Denial

Out of their need to avoid how they feel, they could end up believing that their ex will change their mind. It is then going to be important for them to be patient and, before long, their circumstances will change.

In the short-term this will allow them to feel better, but sooner or later they will have to let go of what is going on in their mind and to face reality. Nevertheless, it might be too much for them to handle at this point in time.

Another Outcome

What could also stop one from facing up to the fact that their relationship is over is if their ex was to string them along. Instead of telling them that it’s over, they continue to talk to them, and not in a way that shows that it’s over

For example, at times, they could reply to their messages and even speak to them on the phone, and at other times, they could just go silent on them. One is then going to find it hard to work out where they stand with them.

False Hope

Based on how they behave, one can come to believe that there is still the chance that they will get back together. What this is likely to show is that their ex is experiencing inner conflict, and this is why they are displaying this hot and cold behaviour.

If one was able to step back from what is taking place, they might soon realise what is taking place. The trouble is that they are likely to be caught up in how they feel, and this can stop them from being able to see what is happening.

Awareness​This is why it can be important for one to talk to a friend about what is taking place, as they are not going to be emotionally caught up and this will make it easier for them to assess what is taking place. The assistance of a therapist might also be necessary during this time.

Author's Bio:

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include 'A Dialogue With The Heart' and 'Communication Made Easy'.