Douchebag of the Month - August 08: China

No, this is not about the roided-looking reality and former WWE star, the country of China is a douchebag.

A picture is supposedly worth 1000 words, and that's great because it's 8 in the morning and I'm kind of lazy. But anyone who's watched the olympics and doesn't have severe head trauma, or isn't a raging sinophile/Communist/Nerdy, Pot-Bellied, Kung Fu "cowboy" can see that Chinese Olympian He Kexin is only a few years out of diapers. Hell, I have cigars older than her in my humidor.

It's obviously not her fault though. Aside from being brainwashed with state propaganda and bullshit Confucianistic subserviance, girl's gotta eat. That, and I'm sure she'd like to avoid having her house as a new stop on the Chinese Mobile Execution Busroute, and ending up as a dissected cadaver on the Bodies Revealedtraveling exhibit. (Which, ironically, my daughter is seeing this weekend.)

The Chinese government faked her passport, and no doubt others, to qualify for the minimum age of 16. And when someone discovered evidence of this on an official government site, it mysteriously disappears.

And then there's the whole issue of faking the opening ceremony, the cover-up of the ridiculous levels of smog, and (unrelated to the Olympics) the phenomenon of parents hocking their kids to the highest bidder due to the tyrannical one-child policy.

What does this have to do with the Martial Arts? Obviously China is supposed to be the birthplace of them, although I dispute that as people have been figuring out ways to hurt each other ever since Og grabbed a log to club Ugg over a tasty bird egg they found outside their cave.

Beyond this, there's still the pervasive, ridiculous notion that China is some sort of wonderland of wise masters and idiots jumping from tree to tree in silk robes. This article is just a healthy injection of reality into the asses of people who think that way.

This is pathetic and sour grapes.
The girls may well be younger (how the **** can you really tell, they're Asian gymnasts; they'll never look older than 12) but that harms then, not the Olympics. The American should have won silver regardless. Who got shafted there was the bronze medalist who should have swapped positions with the gold winner. That judging fault goes to non-chinese by the way.

As for a single girl lip-syncing, so fucking what? Have you ever been to a sporting event? As often as not there is lip syncing going on. Oh my god, the integrity of the superbowl has been compromised.

The fact of the matter is it doesn't matter, China may do some fucked up **** but these olympics weren't them (except from the standpoint of spending money that could have fed starving citizens, but no one ever cares about that).

It's not really sour grapes. The reason for the 16 year old age limit is there because pre-pubescent female bodies have a different center of gravity which gives them an advantage. It's also an attempt to prevent the machine-like exploitation of children who are put into what are little more than sport internment camps to serve as propaganda tools for their government.

This is pathetic and sour grapes.
The girls may well be younger (how the **** can you really tell, they're Asian gymnasts; they'll never look older than 12) but that harms then, not the Olympics.

If the Olympics didn't have a rule against exploiting prepubescent children by forcing them into elite athletic competition for the glory of their nation-state, this thread might very well be called "Douchebag of the Month - August 08: The Olympics".

Because the Olympics do have a rule against this, and because China flouted said rule (see this - yes, it's a blog, but it's the blog of the guy who found the smoking gun), it's the Chinese who have earned "Douchebag of the Month" honours.

If China had made a good-faith effort to avoid this, we'd be left with nothing more to criticize them about than mundane things like requiring would-be protesters to obtain permits to protest at the games, then not granting any of said permits. But then we wouldn't have a "think of the children" angle.