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Friday, 3 February 2012

For today . . .

Who could guess the century?It might be any year.Time, it seems, in passing byhas left no footprint here.The village with it's narrow street,The church, the mill, the pond.The ploughman on the furrowed slope,The Sussex Downs beyond.~Patience Strong

One thing that I absolutely love about England are it's quaint little villages and towns. You don't have to go very far to find one . . . a short drive of any one of the larger urban centres will find you smack dab in the middle of one small place or the other . . . each one beautiful in their own right, with a certain charm that can't be found any place else on earth . . . well, that's my opinion anyways!

I was in bed last night at 8:30 pm and I slept right through until gone 7:00 am this morning. Most unsual for me. I just could not keep my eyes open last night . . . I was so very tired. That happens sometimes I guess. I've been a bit blue lately, which is also not like me. I think that the pain issues and a few family issues have been wearing on me, neither one of which I can do all that much about . . . so they are just things I have to learn to live with I suppose.

I feel a certain pressure sometimes of wanting to be all things to all people. I know that physically it's just not possible . . . but that doesn't stop me from trying. I have all these grandiose ideas in my head, much of which are realistically not possible and difficult to execute . . . but still I dream. Is anyone else like that??

For instance, we are having a special activity at our church this month for the ladies and I have it all pictured in my head with beautiful Valentine Decorations and a wide assortment of pretty Valentine type of goodies to eat. It looks really lovely in my head. There are Valentine swags and mobiles . . . cake pops and crispy hearts all decorated with beautiful sprinkles and candy bobbles . . . the reality will be something a lot different of course . . . because I just won't have the time to do all the swag and decor . . . and cake pops??? They probably won't happen either, although I could probably manage the crispy hearts.

And then . . . when I don't manage to pull off what nobody realistically could . . . I feel like I have let people down, or that I have let myself down. Is that the mark of an over-achiever???

Then there is blogging . . . most people have one if any at all . . . but I have to have more than that . . . coz one just isn't enough is it? At last count there were twelve that I had started, although in reality there are only three that I post on with any regularity . . . and I love it, I really do. It's an integral part of my day, and I would never want to give it up. I love sharing my thoughts, and my creations, and my cooking with all of you. It is one of the things that brings me the greatest joy in my life . . . but I can't leave it at simple can I . . . I have to go the extra mile. It just can't be a simple thought, or a simple recipe can it . . . I have to try to do something that will knock your socks off. Over-achiever again. I go to several blogs which only have three sentences on them each day . . . three things that blessed their lives . . . and I love them! Why do I think I have to do so much more???

And I do that with everything in my life. And sometimes I just get tired. Sometimes I just need to kick my own arse and tell myself . . . look, you just can't be ALL things to ALL people. You just can't do everything you want to do. You just can't be everything you want to be . . . and that's ok. It's ok to have beans on toast for supper three days in a row because you just don't feel like cooking anything else. It's ok that you are not super mom, or super wife, or super church member, or super blogger. It's ok that your artwork will never rival the accomplishments of Rembrandt or that you will never see your work as cards lining the local card shop. Perhaps that is just not to be . . . that it's ok to be mediocre in some things, spectacular in few things and downright horrible in some. The only thing that really counts is that you enjoy the journey . . . and I do.

It's ok to sometimes be happy and it's ok to sometimes be angry and it's ok to sometimes be sad.

So . . . from now on you may see a few words from me here each day . . . and somedays maybe even more than a few. Some days it may just be something I made, or something I cooked. Other days . . . it may be nothing at all . . . I'll be taking a nap or two or three . . . and that's ok, coz that's just the way we're gonna roll. But it doesn't mean that I don't love you.

Cook the bacon in a skillet until brown and crisp. Stir in the onion and green pepper. Brown lightly. Add the remaining ingredients, with the exception of the macaroni. Stir together well. Mix in the cooked macaroni. Mix together lightly and heat through using some chicken broth to moisten. Serve hot, garnish with tomato slices, chopped fresh parsley, ripe olives and some hot buttered toast.