Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Meet Norman!

December 13, 2011

Ok, this is getting serious. I have a zit on my forehead that is so big, pretty soon I’m going to be able to introduce it as Norman.

“Hello! I’m Allison and this is my giant zit, Norman! Don’t be afraid, he only bites a little.”

Really? I thought acne would stop with high school and puberty. (I hate that word BTW) I was under the false notion that in my forties and beyond, I’d enjoy flaunting gorgeous zit-free skin. Is this some kind of joke? I don’t like it one bit. I was using ProActive to control this annoying phase, only to have an esthetician warn me with GLARING eyes that if I keep using that product I will age twice as fast because it’s sucking the life out of my skin. Ok, so now what?!

Of course, I’m freaked out, so I purchase new face stuff. Bottles of this and tubes of that all in the name of good skin that doesn’t look like a shriveled prune when I’m 70. Now, once a month, I get to enjoy one or more gi-mongous, irritated, red, swollen mounds that typically show up in a most unobtrusive spot, like the end of my nose or the middle of my forehead. Isn’t that nice?! Hi, I’m 12.

The other delightful difference in my skin is brown spots. Again, really?! I’m not an egg. I’m not a dog. I don’t need spots. GO AWAY! Of course, I blame my kids (not to their faces) and hormones for this colorful disaster. It couldn’t possibly be all those years I soaked up the sun with baby oil and iodine on and zero sunscreen in the sweltering humidity of Indiana. But I wear 50 now. Doesn’t that count?! Too late, sister. You’re screwed. And spotted.

So, I’ve tried the “spot fading” products. Some work, some don’t. I’ve been considering the new one by Clinique. I’m afraid it will be a waste of $79.95 or whatever God awful price they’re charging for us suckers who are desperate to be spot free. I’ll probably give in and then complain about it later, here! I know, you can’t wait.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who has a Norman. Am I going to be 12 forever?

Maybe I’ll go spend my money on a hat and sunglasses for him instead of spot cream. Anybody want to share your perfect skins stories with me and make me feel jealous?

comments

Yeah, somehow one part of my face is still trapped in the teenage years and erupts periodically, and I’m a lot older than you are! Crazy — not to mention painful and ugly. I have used some drug-store remedies that help some, but not very quickly. We should compare notes.

I’m also a fanatic about wearing sunscreen every day, rain or shine, and I think that’s helped my skin a lot over the years. My dermatologist got me started, and I use a great one.

But don’t forget — ever — what a beautiful woman you are, even with occasional acne or some spots. You’re a stunner!