Help! I am with Waltraud! If he didn't hit your cat, did he injure a neighbor's cat?

Were I in your shoes, no I would not give a pass. If he can't be bothered to stop and check if he just injured an animal that he knows you care about, then that's a red flag. And if he didn't have the decency to be super apologetic and openly remorseful when you spoke to him about this? Second red flag. To me- he wasted his second chance right there.

Logged

I assume you heard the way she spoke to me at dinner.Of course, but how does it help to answer rudeness with rudeness? --Downton Abbey

I haven't anything to add, but one thing bothers me: Did he actually run over a cat, just not your cat? Please tell me that no pet got hurt in this episode! IMO it's just as bad if he had run over someone else's beloved pet and just left it there.

What a heartless idiot!

Waltraud

I had not even thought of that!! I had (interestingly) assumed that, upon getting the text, the OP had ran outside and checked for a runover cat. It hadn't occurred to me that maybe she had looked at her own cat, and seen it was fine... Oh I really hope he didn't hit any pets at all!

And frankly, that's just bizzare. I'm glad your cat is OK, but seriously, who thinks that a message like that is ever the way to go? If I (even thought I) accidently ran over someone's pet, I'd be right there, right then, sobbing and apologizing.

I mean, that's just weird. The level of non-empathy that demonstrates is a dealbreaker, for me. I don't even care if he was embarrassed or whatever.

No pass...I can't imagine ever forgiving someone for this; even though he didn't actually run over your cat. The fact that he didn't even get out to check if he had run over your dear animal companion when he thought he did speaks volumes to me.

Exactly. What a jerk. I'd lose his number.

Logged

If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,Five things observe with care,To whom you speak,Of whom you speak,And how, and when, and where.Caroline Lake Ingalls

I told him that he really changed my opinion of him and he acted sort of remorseful. He has asked me out a few more times and I have honestly been busy, but I'm not really sure that I even want to make the effort.

he *isn't* sorry about what he did. he's only sorry that he "got caught". this is a person who will always be irresponsible, always blaming others. please don't make the effort - you are worth so much more.

Exactly. He is showing you how he will behave in a tough situation. He failed. I don't care how nervous he is or how afraid he is that he would upset you. Those are selfish, cowardly reasons not to get out and do the right thing.

Another way to look at it is that this is the kind of situation presented in movies and sitcoms to indicate what a complete loser someone is. In other words, this kind of behavior is so out there that it acts as dramatic short hand to let the audience know to dislike the character who does this.

He has made a point as quickly and as clearly as he can: stay away from me.

Logged

I have enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three cars across a sizeable desert. Which makes me officially...Three Cars Crazy

No cats were actually injured in this occurrence. I'm sorry that I left you wondering about that.

What happened was my cat had gotten outside when he left my house. The neighbors cat was also outside and the two kitty's do not get along. (Both are males) The cats began screeching at each other and while he was backing out of my driveway he rolled his window down just in time to hear one of the cats screech. He thought it was my cat screeching because he had backed over it. I saw all of this happen from my porch because I had been watching the cat. I knew right away that my cat was fine. I went and got him and brought him back inside.

Adam sent the text while he was still on my road. I know that he was still on my road because I was still outside when the text came through.

The person that is telling me to give him a pass is his brother. He just told me that he knew Adam was really nervous around me anyway because he likes me and that he probably just freaked out. I think those of you that have said he is a coward are right on the dot. Nervous or not you just don't do that to someone.

Relatives are not very objective folks when it comes to their kin's emotional relationships. In other words, bro is biased. Of course he wants his brother to get what he thinks will make him happy and is more than willing to see reasons to excuse bro's behavior.

For you it is a question of wether to invest emotionally. Bro's text killed any desire to open up emotionally to him in me.

It was a pretty callous thing to just text you that he might have hit your cat. If this is how he reacted to injuring or possibly killing an animal, then there's a flashing neon sign above his head that reads "stay away."

Logged

"If you don't like something, then change it. If you can't change it, then change your attitude towards it."

jadeosan

He hs given you a direct line into his character. Nervous or not, when you do something like think you have run over a cat - especially a cat that belongs to the woman you are interested in - you man up and face the music. What a coward, its especially henious because he did not try to help.

I wouldn't even be interested in being friends with this guy, let alone dating him. I have zero sense of humour about hurting or even potentially hurting animals. At best, he is just extremely gauche and immature - but even in that case, do you want someone like that as a friend?!

I am very sorry to hear that your DD's kitten was stolen - any news on that? Very glad to hear your cat is okay though.