‘I see myself as an ambassador for a lost age of beauty and elegance. That’s on a good day. On a bad day I’m just like every other bog-eyed trollop with hair like tramp’s pubes and a bum the size of Lithuania.’

Here are some photographs of some of my favourite ball-gowns, as well as some of my flat. My influences range from the 1890’s to the 1st World War. My dress-maker and I meet at the beginning of each season to discuss my designs; I bring sketches which have to be converted into something resembling a pattern that they can work with.

‘My style has generated mixed responses. Older people often smile, as if to say, “you remind me of my great grandmother”… younger people have uttered death threats.’

‘A well-made, long-handled parasol is an excellent weapon against the slings and arrows of the baseball cap generation.’

‘Over the years I’ve had a lot of men trying to get into my bloomers. Fortunately, I keep them well reinforced. My bloomers that is, not the men.’

‘I was once followed by a man with a Miss Marple fetish…Tweed obviously really did it for him.’