Freshman “Crushed” After Learning Rice Has No Greek Life

Having completed O-Week and with a few days of class under his belt, Wiess freshman Cameron Barnes was embarrassed to learn today that fraternities and sororities would not be a part of his Rice experience.

Putting away his salmon shorts, sick new Wayfarers, and Vineyard Vines quarter-zip, Barnes said he “doesn’t really know how to handle this, bro,” and that “not being able to rush Kappa Sigma Nu may literally be the most devastating news of [his] life.”

When asked how he could possibly go this long without realizing Rice has no frats, Barnes broke down and cried, choking out an honest plea. “How could I have been so stupid, bro. This year was supposed to be totally sick.”

Barnes was not alone in sharing his disappointment with his classmates. Chase Fairbanks, a freshman at Sid Richardson College, told the Mockingbird he felt “seriously misled by the administration.” Fairbanks is making the best of this unchill news, saying he will try and rush Chi Alpha later this year.

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