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May 31, 2009

Can Somebody Please Stretch Out Greta Van Susteren's Mouth?

I don't know why I watch Fox news. I'm a rational, reasonable, somewhat intelligent person so I'm aware I won't be getting any actual news from them and yes I'm aware Fox is just a propaganda machine. But I occasionally stay tuned for Bill O'Reilly's stories of cannibalistic, drug-addicted Mexicans crossing the border to eat your kids, Shaun Hannity's rant's about the world being just a step away from a Communist invasion and Glen Beck's reports of gay pornographers trying to inject your grandmother with AIDS. I guess I find it interesting that they can pull this off. That is they can present news-type programming that is loosely based in reality, completely dis-inform their viewers and essentially propagate an ideology that is against their viewers own interest while turning a nice profit. Edward Bernays and even Joseph Goebbels would be impressed. I'm impressed that they can do this with a straight face and get away with it as it's obvious they have contempt for their audience.

Gretta Van Susteren fits in nicely over at Fox. She brings her legal expertise to all the most important stories of the day. You know, the Anna Nicole Smith tragedy, the latest doe-eyed toddler who disappeared off a cliff, or the latest beautiful teenager who got pushed off a boat and other worthy victims. However, I can't help but be disturbed by her face. Why is her face so tight and mouth so small? Didn't this woman have lots of plastic surgery done? Did they make her mouth smaller? Is there a medical condition? It really isn't easy to watch. It looks uncomfortable. It looks like she's afraid to open her mouth. Maybe she's worried if she opens her mouth too wide we'll see all the bullshit in there? Either way, I can't watch her anymore. Is there surgery she can have to stretch her mouth to human proportions? If not, I can think of a way to help her out and expand that mouth. Below are some methods that can loosen up that mouth real good.

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