M. Scott Peck wrote the book, "The Road Less Traveled." In the first sentence he comments that life is hard, and once you accept that fact you are better able to move forward.

Everyone, regardless of the credentials on the wall, the title or the paycheck, has struggles and disappointments and setbacks. That is just the way it is. There is no Camelot. There is no perfect world. Once you recognize that everyone struggles with the same fundamental issues, it becomes a little easier to move forward.

But if you assume a victim mentality and you aren't willing to try to improve yourself or your situation, you are doomed.

Attitude creates reality. For example, Mayo Clinic researchers have clearly documented that having a more positive, optimistic view of the situation provides health benefits for individuals with some forms of lung cancer. So how you view a situation can have enormous impact on how you live.

Some people see setbacks as absolute devastation whereas others view them as opportunities. At the end of the day, the choice is really up to you.

21 Comments Posted

Some peoples' bodies can regulate blood sugar without a problem. For those whose bodies cannot, is the choice really up to them? Relieving decades of chronic stress, and the associated depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses that coexist with it, is not an end of the day choice.
Giving people such an "easy" solution will often lower sufferers' already low self-esteem.
Five-paragraph solutions to life-long illness is less than worthless.

Jeff

June 12, 2014 10:35 p.m.

Really true.

Saurabh DAHAKE

June 12, 2014 11:41 a.m.

I grew up with chronic illness and believe this my entire life. Looking for someone to blame or something to be angry at will only hurt you in the end.
After my heart transplant In the Transplant House in Rochester, MN noticed that the people who were looking toward the futures and more positive after their transplants (as opposed to 'why me?') Were doing better and definitely easier to be around socially.
Just saying 'snap out of it' is not enough but there is quite a bit to be more than less positive about. I just think about everything I can do and not about what I cannot. Each day my feet touch the floor I smile.

Heidi Ash

October 17, 2013 2:27 p.m.

since i'
ve read these comment they help me

Deanna

September 10, 2013 2:13 p.m.

Everyone needs to take a step back and take a deep breath. Attitude you do have a difficult situation, that has been going on for many years and I can understand your frustrations. While many have tried to give you some advice that has worked for them, we must also understand that, what has worked for you may not work for someone else. That being said, Attitude you also need to look at each suggestion and decide if it is a workable solution for you. If not, there is no reason to get mad, which only hurts yourself more, then just throw that suggestion out and move on to the next one. Take each day as it comes and try to be the best person you can be regardless of the situation, work or family, you are in. I am not taking your situation lightly because I have been in a very similar situation and I finally realized that I had to be the person I was created to be regardless of the people around me. After doing the right things regardless of people, I found out that I could make a difference and be happy with myself instead of being angry all the time. I pray that you will find peace and happiness and be able to let go of all the anger.

j

July 28, 2013 5:48 a.m.

Good insights you have there...It's about coming terms with yourself, accept that this is not a perfect world, and that anything can happen. Its just about bracing yourself for the worst to happen, being ready and and being positive, that whatever comes your way, you will conquer.

Reiza

July 10, 2013 11:33 a.m.

hello, can someone explain to me why people with bi polar have a tendancy to self sabatoge? thank you for your time.

Sarah

May 9, 2013 6:53 p.m.

I can really relate to attitude. I have been dealing with a boss who is the biggest bully I have ever seen. She is the most evil and manipulative person I have ever seen and she is going to be 62! She and a sub-ordinate have been involved in unethical behavior but management and HR defend her every time. I have wished that terrible things would happen to them, but I realize that they are so miserable in their own lives that it is hard to see someone who is ethical, doesn't gossip and say terrible things behind peoples back pisses them off even more. I have given them power and I am starting to take it back, but believe me there are good days and their are bad, but the good are increasing. These evil animals have to drink every night in excess to mask their emotions and self medicate to live life and that is their reality. Further birds of a feather flock together and feed eachother what they lack. I am grateful for family and friends who know my true beauty and heart and lift me up.
But you Mr. Doctor eat from a silver spoon. If I only had to write an article about attitude and regrets, not focusing on my past, etc. I think my life would be rose colored such as yours. But when you work in gov. &amp; see elected/appointed officials play the dirty games they do &amp; support unethical, bullying management it is hard to see the positive. For me I have to realize that they are miserable people who thrive on power/greed.I thank God that I am not cut from that cloth KARMA IS REAL

Trying to move on

April 30, 2013 11:00 p.m.

Yes I understand. I feel that kind of anger too. I cant seem to stop it. It comes on quickly and spills over. I want to learn how to not say anything, how to not press the send button on my computer when I'm angry, how to just shut up. I always say the wrong things always. How do I actually learn to shut up at the very time I am so angry I want to rip someone's face off. And I either say mean things or email mean things and Im an ass when Im mad and it happens way to much. How can I stop.

Linda

April 20, 2013 10:23 a.m.

I looking for a little help, it seems like I get mad at nothing, traffic, my cat, my machine at work, it just seems like every direction I turn in life, becomes a fight...It always seems to lead to stress and anger. What do I do, in that moment when I'm starting to feel overwhelmed at my stimuli, what do I do to not let anger take over?
I know the things that make me mad are &quot;small&quot; but I can't figure out how to remember that in the moment...Please help,,,I'm tired of being mad all the time.

Simplistic is hardly the word. People get tired, and that's where the rest of us come in...to help!

Maria

March 14, 2013 2:54 p.m.

You're partly right, but stress can be a motivator. I've just overcome 95% of extreme debilitating shoulder pain following serious foot surgery. My method: 3 mths. of painful massage therapy that untied knots in all muscles, BUT only marginally affected the shoulders; 18 mths. of floor sleeping, flat on my back; slowly increasing water aerobics, meditation, avoiding any stress. BUT MOSTLY, a mantra, &quot;I never have to go back&quot;, over and over, and each time felt the shoulders relax. I've managed to lessen anger, disappointment, anger, disillusionment, anger, disrespect, anger, resentment, anger. My surgeon was skillful in what HE wanted to do, but he was not a doctor!! Having no communication skills whatsoever, he completely ignored the three original problems about which I consulted him as though a mere patient could have nothing of value to tell the all-knowing orthopaedist. Two of the three problems are three times worse, one he ignored completely. So, I'll keep the remaining 5% as I search for a surgeon AND caring doctor to undo or at least mitigate what he now says is inoperable (permanent surgical damage). When/if I can do this and once again trust, that 5% anger may go.

marvene

March 13, 2013 8:58 p.m.

Dear Fellow Patients,
Have any of you met Dr. Creagan? I have and spent about 4 hours with him I'm so grateful for. He is soft, kind, caring, an expert in his field who has experience few oncologists every have the opportunity to have.
Cancer patients come to Rochester from all over the world to see and have him treat them to survive. He is an ONCOLOGIST! The Mayo Clinic has specialists in depression, bi-polar, anxiety, etc. that are found in the Department of Psychiatry/Psychology-Mood Disorders.
In Rochester, Mayo even has a Mood Disorders Unit for in patient treatment. Mayo has expert information, research, posted under Depression. Please give them your attention and hopefully you will get the necessary information that will get you in the right direction.
They are very specialized in these areas. Please get help for yourself,
and keep at it. Depression is very isolating and that isolating makes one more depressed usually. It's a hard circle to get out of.
Success to you.

Raymond, the Italian 86 year old Jock!

March 13, 2013 7:41 p.m.

I find this article extremely limited and simplistic in its' outlook. It simply blames the victims for wallowing in their own misery. Very unhelpful!! I say this as someone with mental health training and decades of experience as a counsellor, psychologist and teacher.
I also recognize the supreme inadequacy of this doctor's formula for happiness as an accident survivor now suffering from PTSD. Sometimes, the world--and medical and insurance companies--does get nasty and indifferent. That's not the survivor's fault.
Mayo Clinic needs to stop assuming that an MD behind one's name equates to any understanding whatsoever about mental health.

liz

March 13, 2013 3:50 p.m.

I agree that one's attitude can help with stress. However, this post is so simplistic it comes off condescending and judgmental. It offers no resources to learn a positive attitude (and learn it many must) No footnotes or resources for more information or clarification. It reeks of the the old joke about Doctors: The patient says It hurts when I do 'this'. and the Doctor replies, &quot;Then don't do 'that'. Disappointing.

Deb

March 13, 2013 12:53 p.m.

There is a fine line between encouraging someone to &quot;look on the bright side and have a positive attitude&quot; -- and making things worse by sounding like a person is choosing to be depressed/have a &quot;bad&quot; attitude. Yes, it helps to acknowledge that a situation is bad, and then make choices about what to do about that bad situation. Move on, don't wallow. Count your blessings. BUT -- tell me to &quot;pull myself up by my own bootstraps&quot; -- and I'll tell you I don't have any. And I don't. I am not consciously choosing a bad attitude. So being mindful, aware of the here and now and that there ARE choices helps. ***However, it can take nearly a miracle to SEE that choices exist.*** And remember -- this isn't a switch that is either ON or OFF -- there's a huge amount of shades of gray. Better attitude can lighten the darkness but it doesn't flip a switch and make things sunny.

susan

March 13, 2013 8:30 a.m.

I have bi-polar disorder; was born with it at a time when not much was known about mental disease. My mother was good in that she would always tell me to look for the sun behind the clouds. This didn't always work 100% but work it did. I have found that if youtake one tiny step forward, the rest follow. I make it a point now to write in a journal and begin my writing with: &quot;today I feel good about........&quot; It works, sometimes a little, sometimes alot but it works.

barbara

March 13, 2013 5:16 a.m.

Attitude: I, too, have a dysfunctional family (don't we all?), a job I hate (I own the business), the economy sucks, there are alot of people walking around in your shoes. But maybe I have something you don't have....faith in a higher power. I do alot of praying and turning over my problems to Him. Guess what? I get up every day, I have a roof over my head and food in my belly. I have a job. I have family. I can breathe. Not sure what else a person could &quot;need&quot;. There is alot to &quot;want&quot;, but it isn't about &quot;want&quot;. It's about being satisfied with what you have. Tis true, when life hands you lemons, add a little sweetness and make lemonade.

al

March 11, 2013 1:44 p.m.

No, it's not simple or easy. But it looks like you, Attitude, are working toward the same goal with the mindfulness training. It's when things are tough that we need the most help shoring up our resistance to circumstance and other people determining our reactions.

Alma

March 8, 2013 11:23 a.m.

You make it sound so easy. So black and white. So my misery is my fault? I made the choice to be stressed and unhappy with a bad attitude? Notwithstanding the economy, a bullying boss and job where I haven't had an increase in pay for years, oh and a dysfunctional family growing up where I never received any positive reinforcement and was told that there wasn't any money for college?
All I have to do is find a new job and look on the bright side?
I've tried to make good choices and improve my situation and my life. For every step forward, I take 10 back. Now I'm trying mindfulness. It is not as simple as you make it sound. A lot of people do not have the kind of control and opportunity to make the choice to just have a good attitude despite all that is wrong in this world. I would think that you would know better with your education and experience. Believe me, we have all accepted the fact that life is hard. It can just be harder sometimes for honest, hard-working people. Maybe we feel that we can't find a good attitude when CEOs, banks and crooked government officials are making choices for us that are in their best interest. I'm not expecting a perfect world. I know that there is always going to be greed and corruption. I just don't need you making it sound like my bad attitude is my problem and that fixing it will make everything better.

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