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My Blog

Hi Ladies!Well, first of all I want to wish everyone Happy Holidays! and hope everyone is doing fabulous.. I want to apologize for staying away from you all.. You all have being great to me & for excepting me for me & always listening to me & giving me such great advice.. Everyone’s friendship here means a lot to me & cherish each & every one... Thank you all for being there.. I have being away to long & that will not happen again..So much has happen in my life that in time I can not wait to tell you all about it just like I’m looking forward to wanting to know how everyone is doing & what is going on in everyone’s lives..First of all me & the boys are doing great. Alex (my oldest) will be turning 25 on the 29th & is still at the resturant he’s shift manager but recently told me that even thou he likes working there & likes what he does he wants to go back into the oilfields, which I wouldn’t want him too but he’s old enough to know what he wants to do.. But either way I’m very proud of himAs for Josh he will be turning 23 on New Years Day & still working at Rosa’s (a resturant) he recently got offered a promotion as General Manger & he said yes he will be running his own resturant but the catch is it’s in another town 5 hrs away... I broke down in tears but I know I can’t keep him forever, if I could I would but he has his wings & I know he has to fly & go see what life has in store for him.. So this momma is having to let go a little at a time.. I just want to spend time with him before he goes, he has to be in Austin at the beginning of Feburary but he’s in training so that’s keeping away, he’s putting in so much hrs.. I’m very proud of my guys they are doing amazing in their lives.. I’m still not a grandma (lol).. The boys are still taking caring of me as always & they are great, caring, loving men & I know they will always being there for me..As for me so much is going on in my personal life as well as my health... Again, I want to apologize to each & everyone of you for being there for me & being such great fabulous friends!!Take Care everyone!!

Hi Ladies!!Well, last night I went out on my blind date and it went really good.. He came to the door and my oldest son Alex (being my man of the house) went and opened the door they introduce themselves to one another then when I finally came out I was able to put a face to the voice and he is good looking I also introduce him to my youngest son Josh, Mario was ok with it, he said that it was only right thing to do since this is a blind date and the boys had every right to know who I was going to be with.. As we walked to his truck he came around and opened the door for me.. WOW!! they still do that? When we got to the restaurant we had to wait for our table so we talked & when we finally sat down to our table & as we order our drinks, that’s when I knew the real questions were going to be asked we talked about our lives, work, family etc.. He was really interested in the boys and told me how well mannered they were and he appreciated how close they are to me, he thought that was beautiful.Well, his sister (my co=worker) showed up with her hubby so we talked, laughed & had some drinks.. After we were done we were deciding what to do next instead of going to a loud noisy place where we couldn’t hear what we were saying to one another we decide to go to a drive in it was a beautiful night, so we thought why not, so we did that & at the same time we got to talk some more, it was fun.. After the movies he asked if I want to do anything else, he was pretty much leaving the night up to me, no pressure huh?We went for a drive then after awhile he drove me home got off and walked me to the door..Ladies, he asked me out on another date and I said yes, why not right? He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and told me that he had a nice time I told him that I did too.. He waited till I close the door behind me before he walked back to his truck..I had a wonderful night and it felt great going out and enjoying myself.. Still haven’t had a talk with the boys to see what they thought about Mario, so I’ll find out today..Thank you again ladies for such great support and great advice and for also taking the time to read this

It’s so hard for me to type this but I can’t go on pretending that everything is okay.. Because it’s not..As most of you know I’ve been with my hubby for 13 1/2 yrs a wonderful, caring, loving man. A man that has taught me how to love again, how to be a strong individual and to be able to stand up for myself and for that I will always be thankful..Well here lately things haven’t been good between us and it’s been like that for quite sometime now and this isn’t the first time that we have gone thru this and I was hoping that this would pass but as time went by nothing has changed..So one day I told him that we need to talk, so he came home from work we talked about everything but most of all we told each other exactly how we felt for one another.. We love each other but we‘re NOT in love with one another and there is nothing to hold on too so we both agreed that we go our seperate ways.. We both agree that in time we have changed and it’s not like it use to be, we did try time and time again and we can honestly say that we REALLY did try but after so many times we just decided there’s no need to go on pretending..I will always love him and I know he will always loves me and he was there for me and the boys.. If we‘re not there mentally or physically then why go on like this. We‘re both okay with this and there is no hard feelings towards one another.. We’ve been talking like 2 adults and that is how it should be, he asked if I wanted to keep the house that I could and he would go and have his name remove and I could keep whatever I wanted in the house.. We‘re still paying on the house and since I’m not working I won’t be able to pay the mortgage..I still haven’t decided what to do.. I told Sam(hubby) that we should make it official after his sister’s wedding which is August 14th. I didn’t want our problems to mess up her big day, he agreed but I want to make sure it was okay with his sister and she said she still wanted me in the wedding..I decided to tell the boys because there was no need to hide it from them any longer, so yesterday me and the boys went to go eat and I told them everything.. My young men were okay with it... I think?? They thought everything was fine and they didn’t have no clue that it wasn’t..They told me to do what is best for me and all they want is for me to be happy and no matter what they will be supportive of my decision, they just want to make sure that I’ll be okay..Even though Sammy isn’t the boys biological father I know he will be there for them. I hated to put the guys thru this..again.. I told them that it’s going to be hard at first but we’ll be okay..This time around it doesn’t hurt as before.. I’m not crying like I use too.. Is that weird? Should I be crying? Should it hurt? because it’s not.. Why is that?I have questions but no answers.. We’ll be okay, I’ve started over before and I or should I say (WE) can do it again..Thank you all for letting me get this off my chest and taking time to read this..

As you all know I wrote a blog “other Mom” about “my daughter“..I just wanted to give you all an update on “my grandson” baby Alex, my daughter Sierra send me a text last night about my grandson,she said that he has an inperferated anus, and that they are going to have to stay in Dallas for a few more days. She hasn’t called sinces I heard from here and I don’t know how serious it is? I hope it isn’t. The baby is only 3 days old and he’s already have to deal with so much.Sierra and Alex (her honey) are so young (they are both 21) and already having to go thru something like this..But I know God will get them thru all of this.

Last night my hubby grilled outside and even though I wanted to enjoy myself, but my mind wasn’t with him and the nice time we had together because I wanted to be there with them..I know that they have their immediate family there with them but I can’t help myself for feeling this way.She is a great person inside and out, I just want her to know that I’m here for her,and now her new “lil” family..

I just want to say thank you all again for putting time aside to read this.. Thank you for caring..It means alot.

Well as everyone here knows I’m ALWAYS bragging about my sons Alex and Josh..Well today I thought I would talk to you about “my” daughter. As the boys were growing up and they made all these wonderful friends.As they started going out with their friends and we didn’t know who their friends were we always told them we wanted to meet them or they wouldn’t go out and boy we met alot of their friends.As time went by and their(male and female) friends started coming over, their friends would tell the boys that we were “cool” and liked coming over. As time went by some of their female friends said that I was easy to talk too and that they wish they had the kind of relationship with their moms like they(alex and Josh)did with me. So one day some of their(female friends) asked the boys if they could call me “mom” the boys asked me which I thought that was a nice compliment, no harm, so I thought yes so I’m their “other Mom“, don’t get me wrong they have a good relationship with their mothers,but for some reason the girls can’t open up to their moms, the girls said their moms don’t have time for them. I got to be really close to one of their friends Sierra, she would talk to me about her family and her goals in life, then out of no where she told me that she wasn’t that close to her mom (her parents are divorced) and she could never talk to her mom like she talks to me.She one of the boys friends that started calling me mom. So I tell everybody she’s my daughter and I’m her “2nd mom“. She graduated with Alex(2007) different high schools and she worked with Josh and they tell everybody that they are brother and sister. Then out of the blue she enlisted in the Marine alittle bit after she graduated high school. She would called and write and then one day we got a phone call that she was coming home, the Marines found out she had some personal problems, that mentally and physically she wasn’t ready to stay so they gave her an honorable discharged and she came home.She had to deal with alot when she came home and her parents were happy to see her home, but she herself wasn’t to happy about it. She felt she let herself down and when she tried talking to her mom about it her mom pretty much brushed her off she came over to visit, she stayed for hrs that day and got so much off her chest and told me everything(she had a eating diorder)and that she was going to counseling, she’s doing good now. Thank God...She is a wonderful,caring,loving,person and no matter if the boys were here or not she would always come over to visit and she calls me just to check on how I’m doing. She got her old job back (Rosa’s, where josh works)and still comes over. Her dad bought her a car and first stop our house, she was so happy,she took “her brother” Alex for a ride that day, she was on cloud 9.As she kept working at Rosa’s,one day she fell for one of her co-workers, Josh’s friend so Josh introduce them turns out this guy’s name is also Alex, they started dating. Then one day she brought him over so we can meet him,and told me she was pregnant, yea I cried and I told her I was happy and of course to take care of herself. Alex (her honey)is so loving,caring,wondeful young man and he works his butt off, he’s really good to her making sure she has what she needs.She kept me informed about all the dr visit and send me pictures of the baby on my cellphone. She told me that she was having a BOY I felt like a proud grandma..Well her due date is May 7th, last week the dr told her that he didn’t think she would hold on till May 7th and that they were going to have to induce labor this pass Thursday(4/29/09)she is a very tiny person to begin with and at the beginning of her pregnancy the dr’s knew right off about her eating disorder,they said she was going to probably have a big baby, so they kept an eye on that.Well she went in on Thursday(4/29/09)and told everyone not to show up till Friday because she wanted to have some alone time with her baby so we all agreed. I waited and waited for a phone call and I didn’t call and felt like I was bugging them I wanted to respect their privacy.The dr’s induced the labor Thursday evening and she had her son Friday morning 7lbs 11ozs..Babys name is Alexander Joseph Self the 2nd.Mentally sierra isn’t doing good, she called and told us that they had to fly the baby to Dallas. We DON‘T know why yet. And what is SO hard breaking, she hasn’t been able to hold her baby.The dr’s didn’t let her fly with the baby because she was real weak so Alex( the baby’s father) flew with their son and when Sierra got released(yesterday) she took off to Dallas to be with her son and Alex. Now I’m going crazy not knowing whats going on. She will call us as soon as she knows something.So even though biological he isn’t MY grandson in my heart he is. So please I’m asking everybody to keep “my grandson” in your thoughts and prayers..I would really be grateful and I want to say Thank you for putting some time aside to read this.

Well I’m very happy to say that Alex is doing great..He woke up this morning and he says he feels alot better and his color is back, yesterday he looked so pale.The only thing is that his throat hurts, but I told him that it’s from all the vomitting, but he’s already asking for something to eat, so thats a good sign, (because Alex is always eating).I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea,that he needs to start out slow..He drank all the gatorade last night, I kept checking in on him and he was tossing and turning,and one of the times I went to go check on him he was up at 4am and he couldn’t go back to sleep, so he watched t.v. for alittle bit and he eventually fell back asleep, around 5 or 5:30 am..He’s still laying in bed, so it’s going to be a very laid back day for us both..Even though I hardly had any sleep, it doesn’t matter as long as I know that Alex is doing so much better,thats all that counts...THANK YOU ALL for your thoughts and for caring so much and I know with you all praying for him and wishing him well, made ALOT of difference..I’m glad I have friends like you all, it means alot...I will keep you posted as the day goes by..