Mainstream Media Responds to Decloaking

October 14, 2010

The mainstream media are choking, gasping, chuckling, slapping their knees. Much discomfort and toing and froing. I hope the galactics do things gradually and only close their distance slowly so that the population isn’t frightened and these ones don’t lose too much face.

“Some people saw something described as yellow with blue lights surrounding it,” said FAA spokesman Jim Peters. He added that if the objects were weather balloons — as some suggested — his agency had no prior notification they’d be launched.

Witness Daniel Calhoun, 52, admitted, “Common sense says it wasn’t a UFO. Common sense says it was a plane or a balloon, but this thing stopped everyone in the street for two blocks. Any New Yorker will tell you, that alone is extraordinary.”

Pete Bryant, 32, said, “I saw five or six lights shining in the sky. There was no way that thing was a balloon.

“There was something weird about it. Light just doesn’t reflect off balloons like that. “If Martians were to land anywhere, New York is a much better location than some backwoods town in the Midwest.”

UFO over New York City?

But I’m a jaundiced skeptic. I used to be the regular kind of skeptic, but then I didn’t get enough iron in my diet for several weeks.

In case they’re here checking out the place, let me roll out a welcome mat. Sure, Stephen Hawking said that if aliens ever contact us, we should avoid them at all costs, but what does Stephen Hawking know about anything? The only thing I’ve learned from all those movies about meeting aliens is that you should wait at least three days to call after making First Contact.

Still, if that were really alien life, they were wise not to hop off the ship. We don’t do very well with aliens, at least not if they’re missing their papers. “We’d come down,” they said, “but not before they pass the DREAM Act!“

Perhaps they came from Gliese 581 G, the mystical “Goldilocks” planet that we thought was habitable and that now some scientists are saying doesn’t show up in the data at all. Maybe they just were informed their planet didn’t exist. “This is like Alderaan all over again,” they mutter to each other, setting a new course for the only other planet reputed to be habitable.

Then they floated over Manhattan. “That doesn’t look all that habitable to me,” they said, glancing down. “Besides, I doubt the coop boards will be enthused about our pets, who are giant, noisy robots with very limited bladder control.”

I wonder why they left so soon.

Maybe they’d come to take back Christine O’Donnell and, after watching the debate, decided they didn’t want her after all! After last night’s debate, it wouldn’t be surprising. She doesn’t believe in close encounters of the third kind — or the first kind, for that matter.

Awesome Steve — this is exactly the follow-up needed in this moment: how the press is responding.

Your compilation skills are making available a real-time documenting of this event in a no-nonsense, unhyped, plain English style that lays bare the reality that is disclosing itself now before our eyes.