Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Now that the school year is over I can officially say that summer is here. I had the most adorable class this year, I love them to pieces (even the toughies of which there were a few). Today as I was leaving every single one of them followed me out of the classroom and absolutely refused to let me leave. The end of the year is hard for children that young, they are so nervous for next year... during these past few days I heard from more than one student "I don't want the year to end..." I will miss these kids. I know I will.

On a different note, sometimes I feel like my life is so upside down and unsettled that it makes me want to cry for a reason that I can't exactly put my finger on. Really really really dislike that feeling.

Isn't it interesting how you can live with three other people in a tiny apartment where everytime you move you're on top of someone else, and still feel totally and completely alone?

Sidepoint (random thoughts being thrown out today)- My friend's father died suddenly from a heart attack in December. Four days before her wedding. The wedding was the most bittersweet event I have ever attended and the most beautiful wedding I have ever been to. We danced as if we would never have the oppurtunity to dance again in our lives. Just saw her the other day, she was in town for a few days, and we watched her wedding video. I cried and cried.What a crazy world. Four days before her wedding!!!! Instead of walking to her chuppah she was sitting shiva! Unthinkable. Unbelievable.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

These last few days of school are crunch time in a major way. The day after my friend got engaged her father told me about a boy he thought might be a good idea for me. Without going into much detail as to why I didn't want to go out with this boy, let's just say that the reasons I gave were not significant enough reasons to dismiss the idea. I ended spending the entire day crying. I was so upset and I felt like I was being treated like a client instead of like a person. It really really hurt. Especially considering my feelings from the day before about not having a supportive family etc.

Anyway, between teaching full time (FULL time, as in 9-4, homeroom teacher for TWO different classes) and the mountains of paperwork I have to complete, as well as wrapping up the year inside the classroom, life's been pretty hectic. My curriculum co-ordinator has now asked me to put together my first month's worth of teaching materials for SEPTEMBER!!! Yep. September. "Please hand it in before the last day of school." Boy oh boy. So I spent 30 hours (my entire weekend) putting together my september curriculum and what do you know - Monday morning the principal comes into my classroom and says,

"Miss Teacher, report cards were due in the office last Thursday, when can I expect to have them from you?"

"Last Thursday?" blink, blink"Yes, the last day of school is next Wednesday, when can I expect to see your marks and comments?"

Ummm, I didn't even start- "I can have them ready by this Thursday."

"Ok, you understand that if you hand them in on Thursday, they will be reviewed and returned to you by Friday. Your report cards will then need to be filled in and completed by Monday."

"I realize, I'm sorry for not having them on time." There goes another weekend

Then on top of that Tuesday morning I woke up with a stiff neck, by Tuesday night it was no longer just stiff, I was in agonzing pain, didn't sleep all night... I went through three days of pain before I called the chiropractor who only had an appointment available in a week...

Hectic, hectic, hectic.

I'm not in the mood of finding myself a place to eat on Shabbos so I'm planning on making my own home meal. Hate doing that. Makes you feel like a real loner, but so does calling four hundred families in search of some challah and chicken soup.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Yep. Another one. Another friend became a kallah today. Okay, granted, I had time to swallow this one. I was the first one who suggested the match, and I knew they were dating. It's always weird when you know both sides, it gets you thinking, trying to imagine how in the world your friend is going to fit into your other friend's family. Strange. The whole thing. Just strange.

Let me tell you a little about this family. When I first moved here I met them through their daughter (the kallah) and slowly became close with the whole family. They took me on as one of their own, calling me to come for supper, shabbosim, etc. They are my family and my support system, I really love them.

The father has taken on the responsibility of marrying me off. Every so often something comes up and it always gets directed to him. Today his daughter got engaged. Obviously I'm thrilled to pieces, I feel like my sister became a kallah. I'm beyond excited but there is just a tinge of jealousy over here in my little heart. I'm not jealous of her because she's engaged, I'm jealous because sometimes I wish, I just wish that I had a family like that. That when I get engaged my family all gathers and is beyond happy like hers was. It's nice to be accepted into someone else's family, in fact, it's a lifesaver, but when a simcha like this happens it's a not-so-gentle reminder of what I don't have. Not easy.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

I got two invitations for shabbos meals this week, both by newlywed friends to their parents house. My married friends know that I don't enjoy sharing shabbos meals with them and they consistently try to convince me to change, so this shabbos I accepted both invitations. Big mistake. Friday night the newlyweds showed up after the soup, and on Shabbos day they showed up after the cholent. And they wonder why I don't like eating with them. Well maybe if they actually showed up to the meal I'd enjoy more. They just don't get it.

It's not my style to venture into something new, but it is my style to put my thoughts into writing, so here I am venturing into something new. For anyone that stumbles onto this blog for any reason, welcome to my little world of teaching, singlehood, frustrations, and every so often insights and inspiration.