There can be few more unlikely standard-bearers of General Petraeus's push for local people to defend themselves against the Taliban than Hajiyani Abeda.

Not only is the community elder well beyond prime fighting age, she is also a woman living in the heart of Afghanistan's deeply conservative south where most women barely leave the house. But that did not stop her turning up to a meeting of ISCI leaders in Marjah last week, her face uncovered, and seating herself in a suitable prominent place on the floor next to the district governor.

One ISCI commander, Haji Mir Afzal, said she could do whatever she wanted because of her exceptionally unusual history as a resistance commander during the jihad against the Soviet Union in the 1980s.

"We don't even think of her as a woman when she comes to these meetings," he said. When the Guardian asked how many fighters she had under her command, she raised a bemused eyebrow.

"These are all my fighters," she said, waving at the tent full of men who collectively control one of the biggest militias to be set up with US cash in Afghanistan. "I had more than 200 men under me during the jihad, and they still follow me today," she added.