When you get married most people appropriately assume they will be Number One to their spouse. There’s nothing like the heady days of being in love. Those days make you feel nothing could ever be more important than your marriage.

Our heads get us into trouble. Feelings get triggered by anything and everything, and some of us are more diligent about managing our feelings than others. Our thoughts follow long-standing habit patterns that may not always serve us well. Thoughts and feelings can seem difficult to control. But God wants the transformation of your mind. It’s what He calls us to. So how can you experience that?

Forgiveness is absolutely necessary, but sometimes it’s not enough. Communication is vital, but it doesn’t always change things. Sometimes your spouse’s bad behavior continues, and there’s no evidence it’s changing anytime soon. Setting boundaries in your marriage at such times is never easy, but sometimes it’s the best thing for your relationship.

You were not created for yourself. Jesus did not come to simply make you feel better. Living as part of God’s kingdom here and now means we start living with the values and attitudes of heaven, and that means an outward focus. It just plain works; helping someone else is the fastest way to emotional transformation. Helping others helps you.

Are you tired yet? Have you had enough? Are you fed up with trying harder – at your job, at your health, in your marriage, with your kids, with your thinking, or perhaps with the spiritual change you know God wants for you? You’ve learned by now that simply trying harder to change your behavior doesn’t work. You may need to learn how rest activates your transformation in areas where you need it most.