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Wednesday, August 21, 2013

As
families pack up their new college students for the journey ahead, emotions can
range from exhilaration and relief to anxiety and sorrow. But coupled with the
all too common worries about making new friends, dating, academics and fighting
with roommates, gifted college freshman can harbor some particular questions and
fears.

Many gifted teens are
academically and emotionally unprepared for college.

Even those gifted teens who
achieved high grades or received scholastic awards may have coasted through
school feeling bored and unfulfilled. Many never had the opportunity to master
truly challenging academics, face failure, or exert much effort despite
achieving good grades. The end result can be underlying self-doubt, a poor work
ethic, and/or an overinflated sense of their talents.

As
Elaine Tuttle Hansen, executive director of Johns Hopkins Center for Talented
Youth, stated several months ago in her column on college-bound students, “it's
time to acknowledge that even top students may have college-readiness
problems.”

Inadequate
academic preparation may be the most obvious challenge for some, and may come
as a rude awakening to gifted adolescents who exerted little effort in high
school. Despite efforts to find the right fit, college can present a range of challenges. Late night distress calls home, however, are often more reflective of
the emotional rather than academic challenges these teens face as they start
college. The questions gifted students may have include the following:

Will I fit in?

Gifted teens
may have gotten used to being viewed as different, outliers, or non-conformists,
yet eventually settled into a familiar niche by the end of high school, even if
they longed for something new. Entering a completely different social environment,
though, may reawaken anxiety about peer acceptance, memories of earlier
incidents of bullying, or insecurity about their interpersonal skills. They may
worry about rejection, and question whether they should be true to themselves
or suppress their natural curiosity or quirky interests.

Parents can
remind them that they have new opportunities to meet different friends, that anxiety
is common for most incoming freshman, and that they could look for clubs,
groups and other activities where they can find like-minded peers. Point out that they eventually found their
place in high school, and this will happen in college. If they continue to
struggle, appear depressed, or show signs of excessive anxiety, they should be
encouraged to seek out support from the college counseling center.

Will I be noticed?

The
small fish, big pond world of most college campuses is a harsh reality for many
accomplished students, especially when praise and recognition have bolstered
underlying insecurity. Even small colleges can seem overwhelming when no one
knows an individual’s abilities. While it may be a welcome relief to share
classes with so many equally talented students, it can be a humbling reminder to gifted children that they are not so special after all.

Parents
can point out that they will find their niche eventually, that it takes time to
build connections, and that they are “special” regardless of how much they
shine. Their “job” is to learn, grow and gain a good education. They do not
have to be the best; they need to work hard, develop new skills, and find their
path.

Will I succeed?

Praised
for their talents and permitted to languish in “easy” classes, many gifted adolescents have no idea about what it takes to achieve success. College may
provide the first awareness that talent is not enough; drive, hard work,
organizational skills, and vision are necessary to get ahead. This sobering reality
may force them to master new skills that are unfamiliar to them. To belabor a metaphor, the “small fish” may also feel like a fish out of water. Conversely, some gifted students have been perfectionists from the start, and place even more pressure on themselves once they reach college.

Remind
them that college is not just geared toward academic learning, but toward the
development of life lessons and skills toward a future career. They are learning
what some of their peers recognized years ago; you have to work hard to achieve
what you want. They also may have to ask for help, develop study skills, and reach out for guidance in difficult academic subjects. Perfectionistic students need to challenge their self-imposed standards and recognize when their expectations are too extreme.

Who am I without my
talents?

Some
gifted adolescents have become so identified with their talents and
accomplishments that they question what might become of them without continued
success. Their identity has been interwoven with recognition, awards and
perfect test scores, and they may worry that any digression from this would betray
loved ones and teachers who have championed their strengths. Even more, they
may fear losing a sense of themselves if they fail to perform at a high level. While some existential anxiety is common for most college students, gifted students who overidentify with their achievements might limit class selection or career goals that present any risk, or
feel guilt and despair if performance does not meet expectations.

Gifted adolescents need to be reminded that they are loved and appreciated for much more
than their talents and abilities. Point out that they need to take risks to try
new skills, take on new challenges, and investigate different forms of learning
while in college. Remind them that what is most important is their intrinsic
strength of character unrelated to their intellect. If they continue to
experience feelings of depression, anxiety, or obsessive worrying about
performance, counseling should be considered.

On a positive note...

Despite
these fears, most gifted adolescents feel relieved and even thrilled to be in
college. They are finally in an environment that values higher level thinking,
intellectual engagement, and achievement. They no longer have to “hide” their
interests and abilities due to fear of being criticized. They are surrounded by
like-minded peers who also want to learn.

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Perspectives about giftedness from a Clinical Psychologist, workshop leader, consultant/coach, and parent. For more information about Dr. Post, therapy and educational consultation/coaching services, see the information listed above.

Disclaimer: Please note that written material in this blog is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for meeting directly with a psychologist, school psychologist or counselor. If you or your child would benefit from an evaluation or counseling, please seek professional services within your local community.

Dr. Post is a Clinical Psychologist, with over 30 years of experience. In addition to her work as a psychotherapist, she continues to advocate for the gifted by offering consultations/coaching (in person or via phone or skype) to gifted adults, parents of gifted children, teaching professionals, mental health professionals, and parent advocacy groups. To find out more, please see information about coaching and workshops for schools.