If you can agree on the terms of your divorce, the divorce process will be easier. Your court filing fees will also be cheaper. When you are in agreement before you go to court, it is called a “stipulated” divorce.

Visit the Vermont Judiciary website to find out all the forms you will need in order to enter into a stipulated (agreed upon) divorce. You will have more forms to fill out right at the start. You and your spouse will have to agree and sign a lot of the forms together. You may want to try to use a mediator to come to an agreement.

If you can afford it and want help with your divorce, contact a lawyer. Depending on what you want, ask the lawyer to provide full representation or an occasional consultation as you work on your divorce yourself.

You may want to get a lawyer if your divorce is complicated by:

the opposing party has a lawyer

property issues such as pensions or real estate

domestic violence

interstate custody issues (you and your former partner have children together and live in different states)

you have a disability or do not speak English well (you are encouraged to contact us as a first step)

If you can’t afford a lawyer, here are some suggestions:

1. You may want to try to get a divorce without a lawyer if:

You can work with your spouse to agree on how to divide parental responsibilities and property.

You do not feel that your spouse is a threat.

You have little property or debts that you are fighting over.

2. Divorce lawyers are not available for free in Vermont. Legal Services Vermont and Vermont Legal Aid may be able to provide telephone advice in divorce cases. Very few private lawyers take divorce cases for a reduced fee. Some private attorneys may do limited representation. For example, they may represent you at only one hearing or only at a mediation—for a smaller fee.

To get the name of a family law lawyer, call the Vermont Lawyer Referral Service at 1-800-639-7036.

3. If you have been in an abusive relationship, you may be able to get help by contacting:

If you are not married but have children, you may want to start a parentage case. A parentage case decides the identity of both parents of children, parental rights and responsibilities (custody), parent-child contact (visitation) and child support. If you have questions, contact us. A parentage case cannot help you divide property.

Contact us at Legal Services Vermont and Vermont Legal Aid by filling out our form or calling 1-800-889-2047 if you need help with:

getting food or shelter

paying for medical care

public benefits

housing issues

escaping domestic violence

federal tax (IRS) problems

foreclosure

credit card or other debt actions

If you have more questions about how to do your own divorce or need help filling out the court forms, visit your local legal clinic. You can view a list of legal clinics and projects around Vermont on the Vermont Bar Association website. See the link at the top of this VBA web page.

Apart from the legal issues, you and your family should be prepared for the challenges that lie ahead. The Families Change website is a guide to separation and divorce. The interactive website has information for young children, teens and adults.

The next 11 steps will tell you what to do during a divorce case. Not everyone has to do all 11 steps. Remember: Take One Step at a Time.

First, get forms and information online to help you understand the court process. You start a divorce by filling out a “Complaint.” If your spouse starts the divorce, then you will fill out an “Answer” to your spouse’s Complaint. The person who starts the divorce is called the “plaintiff.” That person’s spouse is the “defendant.”

You can also go to your local Superior Court’s Family Division and ask the clerk for a divorce forms packet. Here’s a link to the locations of these courts. Tell the clerk if you have children with your spouse. The clerk will give you the right set of forms. The packet also has a page of instructions telling you what to do with the forms.

In a divorce case, your spouse is referred to as the “other party” in the case.

If you can’t fill out the forms by yourself, ask the court clerk if there is a legal clinic or legal assistance project in your area. A lawyer or paralegal there can help you fill out the forms. Court staff cannot give you legal advice.

Ask your court clerk whether your county offers a time when someone helps people fill out their divorce forms.

Filing: After you have filled out the papers, make a copy for yourself. Then “file” (deliver or mail) the papers with the court. To see what filing costs, see the section on Court Fees, below. If you and your spouse can agree on all terms, the filing cost will be less. If you have a low income, you may be able to get the filing fees waived. (See Court Fees, below).

Service: Whenever a court action is started, the defendant must be “served” with all the court documents. That means the documents are delivered to the defendant. Normally the court papers in a divorce will include: Summons, Complaint, Interim Domestic Order, Notice to Attend a Case Manager’s Conference and a notice to attend one or more classes. You or the court will “serve” the papers. When you serve your spouse with the court papers, it is a good idea to include the Answer form, which can be found on the Vermont Judiciary website.

There are a few different ways to serve your spouse, each of which has a different cost. You will have to pay the cost or ask the court to waive the fee. (See fee waiver form below.) Pick the form of service that will work best for you. The court clerk can help you decide.

By hand: If you are on good terms with your spouse, you can hand deliver a copy of the paperwork. You will need to make sure they sign a copy of the Acceptance of Service form.

By certified mail with return receipt requested. The court can do this for you as long as you pay the cost.

By regular mail with an Acceptance of Service form. If there is a chance that your spouse will not return the Acceptance of Service form, serve by certified mail.

By the sheriff. You will have to arrange this and pay the sheriff.

By publication in a newspaper. This is used only if you are unable to locate your spouse.

The important thing is that the court must receive proof that your spouse has received a copy of the papers.

If you get an Acceptance of Service form, file it with the court as soon as possible, and keep a copy for yourself.

If the sheriff serves your spouse, the sheriff will return the Summons and Affidavit of Service by the sheriff stating who was served. File both with the court as soon as possible, and keep a copy for yourself.

If you file your paperwork with the court but do not serve your spouse with the papers within 60 days, the court may dismiss the case. If this happens you will have to start over. You may have to pay another filing fee.

Keep a copy of all your court papers. Put them in a file and keep everything together. Put any papers you get from the other party in the file, too. Always keep the file updated. Take it to court each time you go there. You may also want to keep dated notes about what is going on with your case.

After your spouse is served, whenever you file any paperwork with the court, always make two copies. Keep a copy for yourself and mail a copy to your spouse or their lawyer if there is one. At the same time, send the original document to the court with a Certificate of Service. The certificate tells the court that you sent a copy of the document to the other party.

Important: Notify the court in writing right away if your mailing address or telephone number changes. The court clerk needs to be able to find you. Otherwise you may not get court notices, you may miss court dates and the court may dismiss you case.

Court Fees

Filing for a divorce costs money. You can find a list of court fees online. The costs are much higher if you and your spouse cannot reach an agreement.

If you do not reach an agreement, you will have to pay for service of the court papers on your spouse. If you have a very low income and cannot pay the cost of filing or service, you can ask the court to pay them for you. Go online or ask the court clerk for Form 228 – Application to Waive Filing Fees and Service Costs.

On the fee waiver form, list all your income and expenses. If you get Reach Up, SSI or General Assistance, the court should waive the fees. Contact us if you are denied. If your income is higher, the court will look at your income and expenses and decide whether you qualify for the waiver. You can sometimes get a fee waiver even if you are working.

If you are having difficulty getting your spouse served, talk to the court clerk about your alternatives. You may need to serve your spouse by publication. This means putting a notice in a newspaper. You will have to pay the cost of publication.

At the start of the case the judge will issue an Interim Domestic Order. This is a standard court order that tells both parties what the rules will be while you are waiting for the final hearing. The order tells you and your spouse that everything should stay the same until the final hearing. In particular:

no harassment

no moving the children out of state or traveling with them for more than 48 hours without the other party’s consent

do not give away or sell belongings and real estate

do not incur debts expecting your spouse to pay

do not cancel insurance polices

Both you and your spouse must follow this order until the final hearing unless the court grants a request from you or your spouse to change the Interim Domestic Order.

If you and your spouse agree to change something, you should file a written agreement with the court and wait for a court order incorporating the change. It is very important that you follow every order that is issued by the court.

After you file the court papers, the court may send both parties a notice about a case manager’s conference. The notice will give you the date and time of the conference.

Be sure to go to the conference and bring all the information listed in the notice.

The conference is run by a case manager who works for the court. The case manager will try to move your case along by:

helping you come to an agreement, if you can, about any issues – especially issues that affect your children like custody, visitation and child support

helping you agree on property issues, including dividing up belongings and debts

finding out what issues you cannot agree upon

helping you write out what you have agreed on and giving it to the judge

If you have children, you will have to bring a completed financial affidavit and other financial documents to the case manger’s conference. The case manager will calculate child support and both parties may agree on child support at the conference. If you do not agree on custody, visitation or child support, the court will schedule a temporary hearing.

You do not have to agree to anything at the case manager’s conference. The case manager is not the judge. You should not feel pressured or rushed into making a decision. This is very important. It can be difficult to change an order.

Tips:

If you are a victim of domestic violence, you can ask the case manager to meet with you and the other party separately.

Do not bring children to court meetings and hearings.

If you are talking with the other parent about an agreement, remember that the court will be looking to see if the child’s needs are met.

If you cannot agree on custody or visitation, you can ask for a temporary hearing in front of the judge. There will be no custody or visitation order in place while you wait for a hearing.

If you cannot agree, the case will be scheduled for a hearing before the judge. If one party does not come to the conference, then an agreement is not possible. The case will be scheduled for a hearing before the judge.

If you have agreed on all the issues before the conference, the case manager can help you to bypass the rest of the steps.

If you need a hearing to resolve emergency issues before all of the steps have been completed, the case manager may help move you directly from Step 7 to Step 10.

If you do not have a lawyer, the court will tell you to attend a class called Pro Se Education. “Pro se” means you are representing yourself. This class is less than 1.5 hours long. It is free. You do not have to attend at the same time as your spouse and you may attend in another county. Classes are generally held during the day. Talk to the court clerk about when and where you want to attend the classes you need to attend.

If you have minor children with the person you are divorcing, the court will tell you to attend a class called Helping Children Cope with Separation and Divorce. This class is four hours during the day. You have to pay for this class. If you have a low income, you can ask the court to lower the fee. You do not have to attend at the same time as your spouse and you may attend in another county. Classes are generally held during the day. Talk to the court clerk about when and where you want to attend the classes you need to attend.

Mediation does not happen in every case. You may not want to mediate if there has been domestic violence in your relationship. If the judge orders the parties to go to mediation, but you do not want to go because of domestic violence or some other important reason, file a motion to ask the court that you not have to go to mediation.

A mediator is the person who will try to help the two of you agree on as many issues as you can. The mediator will look for agreements on issues such as:

spousal support

how you will divide your property

how you will divide the payment of debts

how you plan to share child custody or visitation

where the children will live

when the children will spend time with the other parent

amount of child support

how the children’s health care will be covered

who will pay housing costs

any other issues that will have an immediate impact on your children

You must work with the mediator in good faith, but you don’t have to agree to anything that you believe is wrong or won’t work. The mediator will usually meet with each party privately at the beginning.

If your spouse has abused you or you are afraid, tell the mediator about this in a private meeting. You can ask to be in a separate room from the other party during mediation.

There are fees for mediation. The fees will be divided between you and your spouse. The division will not necessarily be even. Ask the mediator about setting a fee for you that is based on your income.

A Temporary Divorce Hearing is a formal court hearing. It does not happen in every case. You have to file a motion to ask for a temporary hearing. At the hearing, the judge will hear each side. You can speak for yourself, bring witnesses and present documents. Court rules of evidence and procedure will be followed.

After the hearing, the judge will give you a temporary order saying what will happen until the court issues a final order in your divorce case. If requested, the judge may issue temporary orders about parental rights and responsibilities, child support, splitting up property, who lives in the marital home and other financial issues.

You should prepare for any temporary hearing as well as you would for a final hearing.

Before the final hearing the court will schedule a status conference unless you and your spouse have filed a completed agreement with the court. If you do have a completed agreement, the court can schedule an “uncontested final hearing” instead of a status conference. A status conference is a check in to see what is going on in the case, what information needs to be exchanged between the parties and what issues need to be resolved by the court. At the conference, the judge may set the date and time of your final hearing and how long it will be.

In Vermont, you must live separately for six months before a final hearing can be held. This does not mean separate residences. This could mean you are living separate lives under the same roof.

If there are children, the court will not schedule a final hearing until at least six months after the divorce paperwork was served.

The hearing can be an “uncontested hearing” (where the spouses are in agreement) or a “contested hearing” (where they do not agree). Read more about these formal hearings below.

Uncontested Hearing

An uncontested hearing is held when the parties have agreed on all the issues related to the children (if you have any) and to dividing up marital property and/or debts. At an uncontested hearing, you will be asked to state:

where and when you were married

that you have been living separately for more than six months

that one party has been living in Vermont for at least a year by the time of the final hearing

that you are not going to get back together

that you believe the agreement you have made is fair, and

that you want the court to grant you a divorce

The judge may also ask if you wish to waive the “nisi period.” This is a waiting period after your final divorce order. This waiting period was put in place to allow parties time to reconsider staying together without having to get remarried and possibly divorced again. If a nisi period is ordered, your divorce is not final until after the end of the nisi period. The nisi period will start from the date of the final divorce order, and can be as long as 90 days. You do not need to have a nisi period. You can agree to waive or shorten it. If you waive the nisi period, the divorce will be final on the day of the final divorce order. If you do not waive the nisi period, the divorce will normally be final in 90 days.

Contested Hearing

At a contested hearing, the judge hears both sides and then issues a final order. You will have to testify to all of the above except the agreement. You may give your own testimony, present witnesses and documents. You may ask the other party and their witnesses questions, and they can ask you and your witnesses questions. The court rules of evidence and procedure apply.

If you are not happy with the final order, the deadline for appealing a final order is 30 days after the clerk enters the order on the court docket. File any appeal with the Family Division clerk. You will probably need a lawyer to help you go forward with an appeal. Although the filing fee for an appeal can be waived, other costs cannot. Appeals are expensive.

If you have minor children with your spouse, the court will schedule a child support hearing after the judge issues the final order. Child support hearings are decided by a magistrate, who is like a judge.

So far we have explained the basics of how the court’s Family Division works, but there is still a lot more to know. Here are answers to some frequently asked questions.

Q. What if I need a divorce but we have no children?

A. Your divorce case will be simpler. Fill out the Complaint form for a divorce without children. After you file and serve the papers, the case will go through the same steps as a divorce with children.

If you are the defendant in the case (that is, your spouse filed for divorce), within 21 days of being served with the court papers file either a Notice of Appearance or an Answer and Counterclaim. The Notice of Appearance simply tells the court that you are going to take part in the case. The Answer and Counterclaim is a longer form that tells the court that you want a divorce as well. If your spouse decides to withdraw, you can still go forward on your counterclaim for a divorce. It is important to participate to preserve your rights.

Mail a copy of the form you chose to file to your spouse and file the original with the court. Keep a copy for yourself.

Q. If I’m the defendant and I get the divorce papers in the mail, am I agreeing to everything in the Complaint if I sign and return the Acceptance of Service form?

A. No. By signing and returning the Acceptance of Service form, you are only agreeing that you got the divorce papers. You will have the chance to explain where you stand on issues at the case manager’s conference and any mediation or formal hearings you may have.

Q. How is a parentage case different from a divorce?

A. There are several differences between a parentage case and a divorce. In a parentage case:

The court will not decide any property issues. The only issues decided in a parentage case are parentage, custody, visitation and child support.

If either party disputes that the alleged father is the father of the child, you may have to go through a paternity test first.

The court will give a child support order but cannot give a spousal support order (alimony).

Vermont has a new parentage law covering several different ways someone can be a found to be a “parent.” Learn more on our Parentage page.

Q. What issues about the children have to be decided by the court or agreed to by both parties?

A. Here are the issues you need to think about and discuss with the other parent if you can:

Where will the children be living? With one parent most of the time, or split time with both parents?

When and under what conditions will the children be spending time with the other parent? If you have good reasons to ask for conditions on visits for safety reasons, raise those issues with the other parent, the case manager or the judge. Examples of special conditions include supervision by another family member or no use of alcohol or drugs during visitation.

Who will be making decisions about the child such as where to go to school or what is appropriate medical treatment?

How will you cover your child’s health care expenses? Can either of you get medical insurance at work? Is your child eligible for public insurance (Dr. Dynasaur, Medicaid, Green Mountain Care or other state programs)? How will you share medical expenses?

Are there any other child-related issues that you want to include in your agreement? For example, are religious upbringing, education, medical treatment or grandparent visits an issue?

There are two types of custody (the court calls these “Parental Rights and Responsibilities”): physical (the right to make day to day decisions for the child) and legal (the right to make decisions for the child about non-emergency medical treatment, education, religious upbringing, etc.). Physical and legal rights and responsibilities can be held by one parent or can be shared. Learn more on the Child Custody and Visitation page of our website.

Q. What is a parent coordinator?

A. In rare cases where there is a lot of conflict between the parents, the court can appoint a parent coordinator. This is to help the parents set up a schedule and follow the court’s orders. The parent coordinators are specially trained to look out for the best interests of the child during a divorce or other family case. The parent coordinator will talk to important people in the child’s life and make a very detailed recommendation to the court about what would be the best parent-child contact schedule or parenting plan.

If either parent disagrees with the parent coordinator’s recommendation, they can file an objection with the court. The court will then schedule a hearing to determine whether or not to follow the parent coordinator’s recommendations.

Q. How long will my court case take?

A. When you are getting divorced – even if you have agreed on all issues – you must wait at least six months after living “separate and apart” before you can have a final hearing.

If you have minor children, the court will not schedule a final custody hearing until at least six months after the divorce case was filed.

Q. How do I file for other reasons or “grounds” for divorce?

A. Most divorces in Vermont are granted on the grounds that the parties have lived separate and apart for six consecutive months and are not likely to get back together.

While Vermont law includes six other reasons for divorce, the forms are not set up to let you file a divorce on those grounds. If you decide you want to file for a reason other than that you have been separate and apart for six months and won’t be getting back together, then you should consult a lawyer. If you list a reason for divorce on your forms and do not prove it, the judge may not grant the divorce.

Regardless of the grounds for divorce, abuse may be relevant to other decisions the court must make in a divorce case, like custody, visitation or division of property. Abuse is not relevant to spousal support.