4 Tips for a Happy Marriage

Research shows that happily married couples live longer and heal faster than those in unhappy relationships. With that in mind, here are some practical ways to increase the happiness in your relationship:

1. Fight fair or not at all. “The way you interact during marital arguments is as important a heart risk factor as whether you smoke or have high cholesterol,” says Timothy W. Smith, a psychology professor at the University of Utah. Verbal aggression, such as yelling at or insulting your partner, leads to decreased intimacy and “self-silencing” – keeping quiet during a fight – has been linked to depression, eating disorders and heart disease in women.

2. Keep positive feelings alive.Couples most likely to be married for the long-term are those who maintain their positive feelings for their spouse and actively clear any emotional baggage that may be sabotaging your relationship.

3. Read the book Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love (Markman, Stanley, Blumberg). It is a valuable source of information for positively handling disagreements between you and your spouse, which will increase the success of your relationship.

4. Support your partner’s goals and dreams.People feel happiest in relationships where they feel the other person helps them achieve their own personal goals.