2021 Census to include questions on gender of pets

In an exclusive report, Spoofflé can reveal that the next UK national census may after all include highly personal questions concerning each pet resident in a household.

Animal protection groups have protested to the Office of National Statistics (ONS) that the compulsory information will violate a pet’s right to privacy and could lead to inter-household conflict when such information becomes public knowledge amongst neighbourhood animals.

We understand from the leaked white paper (ONS/C-20136/02/Dec16) that each household will be obliged to answer questions including:

Total number and ages of all Dogs and Cats normally resident in house

Biological sex of animal at birth

Current sexual orientation of animal: Male, Female, Gender non-binary

State of mind of pet: Normal, Imbecile, Feeble minded, Incontinent

Total number of legs

The white paper consultation period ends on February 1st 2019 and the final question set will be announced on April 1st.