The Pass

Men are notorious for missing memos. They miss the “I’m not interested” memo, the “I’ve been cheating on you” memo, and the “your pass has expired” memo. It is understood between both men and women upon the first [successful] sexual interaction that there is a pass that allows future access without having to resubmit a new application. I mean, that is all dating has been reduced to, an application to smash.

It seems that men think the one-time application submission is valid for forever. They fail to read the fine print, the clause that very clearly states the terms of the pass:

a) The pass automatically expires if it has been more than 30 days since last interaction.

b) You lie on the initial application or any point thereafter that would directly affect the agreement of the pass.

c) Either party decides to enter a serious, committed relationship with any other person.

d) You stop giving your best

e) You become annoying

f) You become clingy, begging, weird, and/or psychotic

I thoroughly believe that men overlook these clauses because their egos (absolutely no pun intended) blind their vision. Everyone thinks they are the best but clearly this is not mathematically possible. Everyone feels like they can talk their way back but she has to be willing to listen. So take time to pay attention because your pass just may be expired. If so, please resubmit application for further consideration.