WWYD? CSA arrears payment?

The CSA have finally sorted out DPs CSA assessment based on his first job after 12 months of unemployment- it's taken 4 months, during which time ex hasn't been receiving anything (despite DP suggesting they enter into a private arrangement, when he was unemployed, she insisted on sticking with the CSA so that "she gets what she is entitled to".There is an arrears to pay - which DP can negotiate to pay off in instalments or pay as a lump-sum (on my credit card which we'll pay off over a few months).

I've suggested that he ask his ex which she would prefer him to do - whether she wants the lump sum, or would prefer a bit more every month for the next few months.

My exp had arrears to pay and chose to pay bit by bit in his CSA payment, tbh I would have preferred a lump sum. I would've appreciated a choice but I suppose for exp a lump sum wasn't possible. Very nice of you to give her the option though

No way would I offer a lump sum if you're going to get into debt on your credit card for it.

At least with the CSA monthly arrears schedule you have to pay it - problem with a credit card is you may miss it one month if you're a bit tight etc and it will end up costing you a fortune and I doubt you'll get any thanks for getting yourself into debt either!

seriously racmum, what business is it of the ex to know whether or not their ex is 'getting into debt' as a result of paying child maintenance? The father has an obligation to pay - he hasn't paid for sometime (not his fault, CSA are dreadful at reassessment, took 8 months once for me!) so does it no occur to you that the ex may well be in debt as a result? At least NADM and her partner are trying to sort it out and be fair about it.

Given what you've said I wouldn't offer a lump sum as sounds like she prefers to let the CSA organise things their way and credit cards have high interest. But good to make sure she knows the payments for X weeks including Y extra arrears so she doesn't get upset when they go back down.

mumandboys She may well have incurred her own debt over the last 18 months; DP did give her as much notice as he could of his redundancy and warned her that it wasn't going to be easy for him to find something else. - I hope not though, and certainly based on casual observation, she seems to have coped with the reduction in household income without it impacting on the DCs standard of living; they've still had overseas holidays, ex has recently bought a new car and they have had days out, takeouts etc as usual.

I hope she's not relying on the arrears and payments being as much as they were before though; the job DP has pays less than half what he earned previously, and its only temporary, so in a few months, the payments might stop again!

I'm hoping that this particular issue doesn't cause more hostility - but if she is in debt, and relying on a large arrears payment to sort that out, then it's quite likely that she'll react negatively towards DP if theres less than she expected - based on previous experience at least.

Why is it peculiar ? You owe her money, you have the means to pay it so pay it. What she chooses to spend it on and how much debt she may or may not have is none of your business. Choosing to pay in installments when you could pay a lump sum suggests a certain level of control IMO.

That's a bit rude, Fleecy - the comments about standard of living were in answer to someone else's question and to do with whether the ex may be in debt. Choosing to pay in installments is generally a good financial decision - or am I trying to 'control' British Gas?

I think it's great that you feel able to offer her a choice. I personally would go for the extra each month though, without offering the choice, because if the job is only temporary, you would still have the credit card debt to pay if you paid it on one lump sum.

Makes more financial sense to me, for you and your DP. At least then, for a few months, the RP will be getting slightly more towards her outgoings. Yes it will drop after, and may stop, but she CHOSE for it all to go through the CSA.

I'd honestly offer the arrears over a few months, as a top up payment to the standard maintenance, especially as it will be far less than it was before (but more than nothing while he was unemployed!).

Don't get yourself into credit card debt, with associated interest payments, for CSA arrears caused by their indeterminable slowness!

Urge I hate this topic at the moment. Next comes the accusations of you being the OW and claims that you must hate your step kids...

I'd be paying the money back in instalments. That's what the csa require and if she wants to use the csa then that's what she gets. If you had the money sat there in the bank then fair enough, it would be fair to pay it, but to put it on a credit card, especially when your dh is only in temporary employment, could end up putting you in a really tricky situation and get you into even more debt.9

olibean the CSA seem quite keen on lump-sum payments - when this happened last time (their calculation error that time), they asked DP for a lumpsum credit card payment of four figures there and then! We did pay it - or rather I did out of my redundancy pay - but DP felt really pressured and was told that instalments can only be agreed in exceptional circumstances!He's a lot more clued up to the CSA now though.

oli thinking about it, the anti-SM comments - 'none of your business' 'you should pay' and so on are quite reassuring - otherwise, I'd begin to doubt my own opinion of DPs ex The hostile and negative comments here mimic DPs ex so at least I know I'm not imagining it, and it also means that her attitude isn't personally directed at me !

I'm not surprised NADM, they want to make it easier for themselves! I'd just be really concerned about running up a massive credit cards bill, especially when ( I believe) you have your own kids and at least one step child living with you. You might need that money to fall back on and if you can't pay the bill for a while, you'll get into massive debt and get a bad credit rating.