NLDS Game 4 Brings Out Danny Rouhier Nationals Rant

D.C. sports radio host Danny Rouhier unloaded on a Nationals fan for suggesting he remain positive ahead of the team’s do-or-die division series Game 4 against the Cubs.

Rouhier, a D.C. sports fan for his 38 years of life, is a little worn out from the idea of getting up for another playoff elimination game and would rather not put forth the emotional effort.

Although he’s in Chicago and has a ticket for Game 4, the 106.7 The Fan host has elected not to attend.

“Will you watch on TV,” his co-host, Grant Paulsen, asked.

“I don’t know,” Rouhier said.

“What else would you do,” Paulsen asked.

“Nap,” replied Rouhier. “Nap in a different part of the bed than I was in the other day. Maybe take a soak. There’s a really nice pool at our hotel that I would like to check out. There’s a hot dog joint close by.”

“It’s absurd. This is what they are,” Rouhier said of the Nationals. “They are the Capitals on grass. We get that, and I have acknowledged that, so I’m tipping my cap. This is a great process. I do not fault the process.

“I have faulted the Wizards’ process in the past. I have faulted the Redskins’ process in the past. I do not fault this process, it’s just not going to happen. And I’m not even mad, honestly. I know it sounds that way, but I’m not mad about it.”

“I’m mad about individual decisions,” he said. “I think Dusty did the wrong thing a couple times over. I’m a little frustrated that really good players — objectively really good players — completely under-perform when it matters the absolute most, but what are you gonna change? Do you get rid of Trea Turner? Of course you don’t. He’s a young superstar on the way to being a perennial All-Star.

“Do you get rid of Daniel Murphy, the guy that’s come in second in batting in each of the last two years? Of course you don’t. There’s nothing you can do differently. This is a really well-designed, really well-built team. It’s just not gonna happen. Thanks! I appreciate it.”

Rouhier did get mad, however, once a caller into their program, by the name of Andrew, questioned the host’s character and suggested he tap into the “power of positive thinking” to adjust his attitude.

“I appreciate being lectured,” Rouhier said. “Here’s the deal: I’ve been positive, and I have had my heart ripped out. I was positive when I was a kid: heart ripped out. I’m positive that my town doesn’t win playoff series. Twenty-six years of data points prove that.

“I’m positive that I don’t appreciate your condescending tone. I’m positive that this series is over, and if I’m wrong, I’ll wear that. Call in and yell at me and have a great time, and tell me about how I’m not living up to my end of the bargain. I’m positive that positive thinking doesn’t mean jack and/or squat when your team doesn’t hit.

“I’m positive that I can let go of the steering wheel, and I’m positive that some mystical force is supposed to take it and I won’t get in an accident. I’m so sure, sir. Keep your Oprah Winfrey Book Club bull crap off of your lectures. I don’t need to hear that from you, sir. Power of positive thinking. That’s adorable.

“That’s the dumbest crap I’ve ever heard: The power of positive thinking. That’s adorable,” Rouhier continued. “I had some positive thinking before the series started. I wasn’t positive that they’d manage two hits off every Cubs starter, even some JAG [Just-A-Guy] that they acquired mid-season with an ERA north of 4.

“I’m positive that it hasn’t worked out no matter what I’ve thought, cause I have no control over the outcome of professional athletes that could give a GOD DAMN whether I live, or DIE, an extra second on this stupid earth that’s pointless to worship sports teams that will never, ever reward you EVER for any reason with any kind of postseason success. I’m positive that I don’t want to hear from you any more.”

“Thank you for your positivity,” he said. “Skip it on down the line there, HOSS!”