Here comes Testivus! Here comes Testivus!Right down Testivus LaneScore based reform and teacher blameare pulling on the reinsCash registers ringing, test companies singingfor them it's merry and brightWhy are we so happy to do this'cause none of this just ain't right

Here comes Testivus! Here comes Testivus!Right down Testivus LaneIt's got a bag that's filled with testsfor boys and girls againCritical thinking, creativityall of that has been nixedSo join your voices and say your prayers'cause all of this must be fixed

O Wondrous Test(to the tune of O Holy Night)

O Wondrous Test, whose questions are so probingYou are the one who will show how well I've taughtAll of my students, will be marked for lifeAs either bright or the ones who'll hold us backA feel of dread the weary teacher hasFor yonder breaks the same old failed methods

Fall on your kneesPlead for reform to comeO test designed to show us nothingO test, o test so badly designed

Long lay the school in test prep centered instructionbecause no one wants to seem inadequateGone are the days of relevant curriculumAs we strive for the magic number of goldStudents will learn all the factoids that we chooseInstead of real concepts of what they should

Fall on your kneesPlead for reform to comeO test designed to show us nothingO test, o test so badly designed

Truly we know that there's a better wayTo assess what our children really knowWe all hate you Test, yet we still bow downBecause we want the government's moneyAre we really helping out our countryor are we merely holding ourselves back?

Fall on your kneesPlead for reform to comeO test designed to show us nothingO test, o test so badly designed