How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?

How come you can kill a deer and put it up on your wall. but it's illegal to keep one as a pet?

How come you never see a billboard being put up by the highway?

How did the first women ever to shave their legs know that the skin wouldn't just peel right off?

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?

How far east can you go before you're heading west?

How fast do hotcakes sell?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?

If a baby's leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn't come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?

If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, do they have to wear a hairnet?

If a bee is allergic to pollen would it get the hives?

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

If a cannibal was on death row could he ask for the last guy that was electrocuted for his last meal?

If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?

If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack should they save him?

If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family?

If a lesbian has sex with other women but never with another man is she still considered a virgin?

If a nursing mother had her nipples pierced would the milk come out of all three holes?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

If a person dies and then springs back to life, do they get their money back for the coffin?

If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?

If a transvestite goes missing, would you put their face on a carton of Half and Half?

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

If an escalator breaks down, does it become stairs?

If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?

If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP?

If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?

If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling?

If its 11:30 PM Dec 31 in Texas and 12:30 AM Jan 1st in New York and you have a New York driver's license that expires Jan 2007, does that mean your license has expired?

If K.F.C Stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken, Why do they play sweet home Alabama on the commercials?

If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?

If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

If milk goes bad if not refrigerated, does it go bad if the cow isn't refrigerated?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?

If people with one arm go to get their nails done, do they pay half price?

If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?

If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from?

If someone has their nose pierced, have a cold, and take their nose ring out. Does snot come out of the piercing hole?

If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If there were a thousand seagulls in an airplane while its flying, each weighing two pounds a piece, but they were all flying in the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2000 pounds more?

If there's a speed of sound and a speed of light is there a speed of smell?

If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and your the main witness, what if you say "no"?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you blew a bubble in space would it pop?

If you died with braces on would they take them off?

If you dug a hole through the center of the earth,and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

If you had a three story house and were in the second floor, isn't it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?

If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?

If you really could dig a hole to China, and you did, and you fell in, would you stop in the middle because of gravity?

If you soak a raisin in water, does it turn back into a grape?

If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If you undergo chemotherapy do you lose your pubic hairs?

If you were to get drunk in a country where the drinking limit is under 21, and went to the states and were still over the limit, could they arrest you for underage drinking even though you did not do the drinking in the states.

If you're driving a federal owned car, and you run a stop sign, is it considered a felony?

In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?

In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?

In the song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather "macaroni"?

Is it appropriate to say "good mourning" at a funeral?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic?

Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?

Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?

Is there another word for synonym?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Is "vice-versa" to a dyslexic just plain redundant?

On Gilligan's Island, how did Ginger have so many different outfits when they were only going on a 3 hour tour?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Were Mary and Joseph's surname Christ before Jesus was born?

What are the handles for corn on the cob called?

What do Greeks say when they don't understand something?

What do people in China call their good plates?

What do you call male ballerinas?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

What happens if a queen gives birth to a pair of Siamese twins? Who gets to be king?

What happens to an irresistable force when it hits an immovable object?

What happens when you put a light saber in water?

What happens when you put hand sanitizer on a place other then your hand?

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

What is Satan's last name?

What is the stage of a reptile when it has eggs in it but they haven't been laid. Are they pregnant?

What does PU stand for (as in "PU, that stinks!")?

What type of animal is Snuffaluffagus?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

What would happen to the sea's water level if every boat in the World was taken out of the water at the same time?

What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?

When a pregnant lady has twins, is there 1 or 2 umbilical cords?

When Atheists go to court, do they have to swear on the bible?

When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?

When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

When there's two men who "get married", do they both go to the same bachelor party?

When two people marry, they say, "you may kiss the bride". What do they say if two MEN get married?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?

When you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?

Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”

Where do people in Hell tell other people to go?

Where does the toetag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?

Who was Sadie Hawkins?

Who coined the phrase, 'coined the phrase?'

Whose cruel idea wasit for the word “lisp” to have ‘s’ in it?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why are all of the Harry Potter spells in Latin if they're English?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

Why are dogs noses always wet?

Why are hemorrhoids not called asteroids?

Why are people are so scared of mice,which are much smaller than us, when no one seems to be scared of Micky Mouse, who is bigger than us?

Why are plastic bears the only animal you can get honey from?

Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts?

Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are they called 'Jolly Ranchers'? Who said that the ranchers were jolly?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?

Why aren't drapes double sided so it looks nice on the inside and outside of your home?

Why can't donuts be square?

Why can't you get honey from a plastic bee?

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why do dogs like the smell of other dogs butts?

Why do overalls have belt loops, since they are held up at the top by the straps?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

Why do people say beans beans the magical fruit when beans are vegetables?

Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?

Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?

Why do superheroes wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes?

Why do they call him Donkey Kong if he is not a donkey?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why do they call steam rollers, steam rollers? They don't produce, get rid of, or have anything to do with steam

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Why do they put Braille on drive-through atm machines?

Why do they put holes in crackers?

Why do they say a football team is the 'world champion' when they don't play anybody outside the US?

Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Why do we press the start button to turn off the computer?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?

Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it.

Why does Jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the smell is gone?

Why Does Pluto Live in a dog house, eat dog food, etc. but Goofy, who is also a dog, lives in a condo and drives a car?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

Why does toilet bowl cleaner only come in the color blue?

Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?

Why doesn't Winnie the Pooh ever get stung by the bees he messes with?

Why don't woodpeckers get headaches when they slam their head on a tree all day?

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all?

Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?

Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

Why is it OK for dudes to slap other dudes' asses in football, but not in any other situation?

Why is it that before 9/11 they always showed the emergency broadcast system test, and on 9/11 they never used it?

Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Why is it that on a phone or calculator the number five has a little dot on it?

Why is it that when we "skate on thin ice", we can "get in hot water"?

Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?

Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says "Not available in all states"?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

Why put a towel in the dirty clothes basket if when you get out of the shower you are clean?