You are currently an infrared level citizen of alpha complex. Most information is restricted at this level. Becoming a trouble-shooter for the computer will raise your security clearance level to red. Successfully completing missions for the computer and being a loyal servant will raise your security clearance level higher. More information will become available to you at higher security clearance levels.

"Why should I become a trouble shooter"

If you are not working for the computer, then you are under suspicion of being against the computer. Working against the computer will brand you as a commie mutant traitor scum and will lead to your immediate execution. Do you wish to work for the computer?

"Of course I do great computer. I was only enquiring to find out all of the great benefits of being a trouble-shooter. So what does being a trouble shooter entitle?"

As a trouble shooter you will do extremely dangerous and life threatening missions for the computer with the objective of destroying commie mutant scum's. Doing life threatening and often suicidal missions for the computer is fun and makes you happy. Failure to be happy is treason and will lead to summary execution. Are you happy?

"How could I not be happy considering your great intelligence and generosity in supplying us with happy pills!"

I'm glad to hear that you have a good grasp on reality, at this rate you will soon raise through security clearance levels.

"What shall I get to help me on these ludicrously fun missions?"

The computer will supply you with a laser pistol and other equipment vital to the success of the mission. You will be working with many trouble-shooters. Most trouble-shooters are so happy that they have gone crazy. All of them carry lasers!!! Of course, the computer guaranties the safety of all his faithful trouble-shooters. Would you doubt the computer?

"Of course not. I take the word of the computer most seriously, mind you, which sane citizen of alpha complex wouldn't. If you told me to jump in a vaporisation chamber I would be certain to comply without hesitation."

Good. That statement has been recorded for future preference! Is there anything else?

"How do I sign up for such a magnificent role of the trouble shooter?"

Simply send an email to:

The_Computer@Yahoo.com

Failure to pass on information about our site is also treason and will lead to your extermination. Thank you for your co-operation.

For more information on how to play the game, report to trouble-shooter briefing.