Yes folks, it’s that time of year again to celebrate Zombie Jesus Day. But why celebrate a zombie you ask? Well we’re not celebrating the zombie, but instead use this day to remind everyone of the dangers of zombies and how to properly deal with them. Zombie Jesus is worth celebrating for his is a cautionary tale of what tragedies and devastation can be wrought from just one zombie if not properly dealt with.

First there’s the Roman Centurion who thought he was killing this thing. Anyone see the problem?

That’s right, he speared him in the side and thought his work was done. No, no, no. Everyone should know that the only way to put down a zombie for good is to destroy the brain. As this instruction sheet shows, If you destroy the brain, you defeat the zombie. For those of you not into reading, here are simple visual instructions:

So what’s the harm in allowing zombies to “live”? Aside from the stink they give off and the obvious hygiene issue, there’s of course the desire they have to eat your brains, which is particularly nasty.

What we see, through Zombie Jesus, is perhaps the worst thing a zombie can do, and that’s found a religion. Now this may seem to have nothing to do with zombies desiring to eat your brains, but in fact is quite an ingenious scheme to devour the brains of countless millions, and having them voluntarily, often happily, offer their brains for sacrifice. Yes, that Jesus Zombie is a clever bastard. Every day it feeds on brains.

Leaving victims helplessly incapable of being able to think clearly, if at all.

So remember, If you destroy the brain, you defeat the zombie. I can’t emphasize that enough. We can’t deal with these things roaming around causing mayhem.

If we can’t destroy the zombie’s brain, then the only way to protect ourselves is to prevent the zombie from consuming our brains. The best way I know of to do this is to fill our brains with stuff the zombie doesn’t like to eat, like knowledge and morality.

people hate Jesus because they wanna be their own lord…no other gods (buddah etc.) rage war within the hearts of men because they are false…admit it, deep down you don't know for sure Jesus isn't God, I mean, there's no way you will ever know for sure if you don't know Him… Your ignorance is chilling & you really have no clue what your messing with – believe me friend, you will learn the truth one day & I sincerely hope it's in this life time.