If you had a million dollars, what would you spend it on?

I would put it in savings and let it collect interest, so that I would never have to work (or wake up before noon) again.

I already have a million dollars.

This is a stupid question.

I'd probably give half of it to my friends and spend the other half on finally producing my latent screenplay.

Cocaine and sexual favors.

What's your favorite music?

I hate music.

Rock and roll. And country. And rap. And blues. And soul. And dubstep. And trip-hop. New jack swing. Synth rock. Honky tonk And cybergrind. And screamo. And crunk. And nu metal. And anti-folk. And bum-track. And chiptune. And mathcore.

All my friend's awesome bands and the music we make together in the basement.

Whatever makes my booty go.

Jazz, man.

Everything on the mix tapes that people are always giving me.

Describe your ideal romantic partner.

Someone laid-back who won't ask me to get up, go to parties, or do anything stupid, or do anything at all really.

Dresses up for parties; wants to bang every day.

To be honest, I wish I could just date myself.

I don't think I'll ever be able to settle down with one person forever. There are too many interesting and attractive men... and women... out there.

Love stinks, hurts, blows, and is an utter fabrication of the mind of the weak and boring.

My best friend.

What do you think about this year's presidential election?

The entire electoral system is corrupt and broken.

I am voting for a third-party candidate who actually represents my real views, not these guys in the middle!

Still weighing my options. My decision is never final until I'm in the voting booth.

I usually sleep through election day by accident, but I'm sure everything will be fine either way,

I miss Bill Clinton AND Dubya. Those were guys I could have had a beer with.

I am running for President.

What's your favorite website?

Porn Hub.

Wikipedia.

Tumblr.

The internet is stupid.

My own facebook profile.

Netflix.

What's your favorite non-kitty animal?

Animals are gross.

I love aaaalllllllllll the animals.

I have a soft spot for the critters that freak other people out: snakes, bugs, and other "creepy-crawlies."

Fish seem chill.

I love dogs because they love me (and everyone) so much.

SHAAAAARKS

Which celebrities do you wish you were friends with?

Robert Downey Jr. - before rehab.

I'm already friends with celebrities and to be honest, they're kind of boring.

Celebrities are vacuous wastes of space.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel, and we'd all make awesome art and music together.

The entire casts of Cheers, Seinfeld, Friends, and Freaks and Geeks.

The Dude (Jeff Bridges) Abides.

What would the best day ever be like?

Presents. Lots and lots of presents.

As many different kinds of food as possible, presented in 20 courses throughout the entire day.

Sex. Whiskey. Music.

Going to an avant-garde art show with my buddies and then staying up all night playing games around a fire-pit.

The person who wrote this stupid quiz shutting up... forever.

Sleeping for 16 hours, followed by a rigorous schedule of book-reading, sports-watching, meditating, snacks, and naps.

What's your favorite holiday?

New Years Eve, because alcohol and pretty dresses.

I don't celebrate "holidays."

Halloween. I love dressing up! And candy! And scary movies!

Thanksgiving - I have a lot to be thankful for.

My birthday. Duh!

Any holiday that I get off of work.

Which of these classic quotes speaks to you?

This Nietzsche quote

Convictions are prisons.

This Jack Kerouac quote

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.

This Robert A. Heinlein quote

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

This Robert Fulghum quote

We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness - and call it love - true love.

This Siddhartha Gautama quote

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.

This e.e. cummings quote

We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.

Describe yourself in one word.

Fun!

Lucky.

Annoyed.

Love.

Chill.

There's no way I could possibly confine my personality to a single word

What Famous Internet Cat Are You?

You got: Venus, the Chimera

You are fair, open-minded, and have the rare ability to see both sides of every issue. This can mean that you have a hard time making up your mind about even the simplest of tasks (like what to eat for dinner), but, happily, you see the whole world as a magical wonderland full of possibilities, so whatever you get someone else to pick for you will probably be fine.

Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.

You just don't see the need to worry or hurry. Everyone else can run around feeling busy... you are content to watch peacefully from your happy place. Your needs are simple: sunshine, a little bit of love, and plenty of sleep.

Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.

You are the center of attention, affection, and love. You've spent your life being adored, and for good reason: you are a pretty special person. You are beautiful, smart, and interesting. The song "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" was probably written about you, because, well, every little thing you do is magic. It's almost enough to hate you for, except that you're so dang cute and cool that's impossible.

Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.

Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.

Who has time for haters when you've got squonking, drooling, playing outside, hanging out with your favorite dude, napping, and being a total rockstar to do? You're not afraid to let your weird show, so some people will keep calling you a "freak," but as long as you know your friends got your back, you're brushing that dirt off your shoulders.

Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.

Life is short, so you're going to make the most of it: parties, makeouts, shows, staying up all night, whiskey, and real butter. The only real question is why everyone else is wasting their time with their boring day jobs and families.