Church "Friends and Family" Skit

Here's a short church skit that I wrote for our church Christmas Party. We had searched online and weren't able to find something that spoke of Christ, was humorous, was short, and was simple. So I jotted this down and we gave it a try. Corinne recruited (or more accurately: conscripted) two married couples, did a half-dozen practices, created a living room set on stage, and setup the place with microphones. The skit takes about 12 minutes to go through, depending upon how fast the actors deliver their lines. Overall, it was very well received; the only negative was getting the sound loud enough for 400 people to hear. Feel free to use skit for your church and modify it as needed. Enjoy!

Scene opens with Grace & Renee at the Christmas tree, finishing up decorating. Carols playing softly in the background.

Woman 1: I think the tree looks even better than last year! Thanks for having us over again, it is so much more fun decorating a tree together.

(Move to sit on couch, pick up coffee cups, etc.

Woman 2: Why else do you think we had you over? We love having our friends over at Christmas time. Here! This is an early Christmas gift. (Hands a wrapped gift to Woman 1) Open it!

Woman 1 unwraps gift and holds it up looking at it, slightly confused.

Woman 1: What...what is it?

Woman 2: It’s a elephant candle holder! It's from our recent missions trip to India. I had to get it – have you ever seen anything like it?

Woman 1: Well, that’s, um, great. [sets gift on coffee table] Sure beats the time when you gave me that big Bible…

Woman 2: You told me you loved that Bible!

Woman 1: Well, I do. It’s beautiful; I just don’t love reading it.

Woman 2: Wait a minute, so you’ll celebrate Christmas but you won’t read the book that tells you all about it?

Woman 1: Well, what’s there to know? The story is about baby Jesus being surrounded by pigs and stuff…

Woman 2: Well, there’s a lot more to the story than just a baby in a manger, and besides, Jesus was Jewish and there probably weren’t any pigs around the stable where He was born.

Woman 1: Jesus wasn’t Jewish, silly... He was Christian!

Woman 2: No! He was Jewish!

Woman 1: Christian!

Woman 2: Jewish!

Woman 1: Christ--!

Woman 2: Je--!

Woman 1: Okay, okay, well, you don’t have to get all testy and all. Alright, then tell me, Mrs. Bible-know-it-all, how can Jesus, "The Leader of the Christian Church" be Jewish?

Woman 2: Look, Jesus was born a Jew, lived His whole life as a Jew, and never became a Christian. There was no Christian church. It’s those who put their faith in Jesus Christ and follow Him who are Christians.

Woman 1: Okay, now you’re getting too heavy for me. Let’s get back to these gifts. I brought something for you – and it’s not from India. (Starts to hand a wrapped gift to Woman 2)

In comes Man 1 (Woman 1's husband)

Man 1: Hey guys – umm, what’s this? (looks at Woman 1' gift)

Woman 2: Hi there, here, have a hors d'oeuvre.

Man 1: Sure, what do we have here?

Woman 2: Well, here we have gorgonzola with endive palms (Man 1 grimaces), here we have escargot fried in an Indian Lassi batter (Man 1 makes another face), and here we have pigs in a blanket.

Man 1: Oh, I’ll have some of those!

Woman 1: Okay, so Jesus couldn’t have any pigs in his manger, but we can have them here at this Christmas party?

Woman 2: Well, we’re not Jewish.

Woman 1: But Jesus was?

Man 1: Jesus was Jewish?

Woman 1/Woman 2: No!/Yes!

Man 1: I guess I never thought of it, but it sounds right. After all, Joseph and Mary were Jewish right?

Woman 2: Right!

Man 1: I remember it was something like they had to go to Jerusalem to be counted.

Woman 2: Well, it wasn’t Jerusalem it was Bethlehem. But otherwise you’re right.

Man 1: Yep, been dropping them off and going out with (Woman 1) for some coffee. I leave my cell phone number just in case. Hey! It’s a free babysitting hour! And the kids love it!

Woman 2: Um, does Pastor Russ know that?

Man 1: Probably, they go running in every Sunday like two squealing pigs.

Woman 1: Pigs again!

Woman 2: Of course they love it, No, I mean does Pastor Russ know that you’re just dropping them off.

Man 1: Nope, and no one’s telling him you understand? I leave the cell number on the sign in sheet just in case.

Woman 2: What I understand is that you need to get yourself into church some day.

Man 1: Yeah, right. The day I walk into church is the day the roof falls in!

Woman 1 (a little irritated): What’s that supposed to mean?

Man 1: Nothing really, I’m just making an excuse for not going. Besides, I don’t think they really want a guy like me.

Woman 2: And why wouldn’t we want you? Do you smell? (sniff)

Woman 1 (teasingly): You’ve been hanging out with the pigs again?

Man 1: No, I shower every morning and use deodorant. It’s just my personal life that may not smell so good to God.

Woman 2: Alright, (Man 1), here’s my one sentence sermon: the Bible says that all of our righteous deeds are like filthy, stinky rags to God. You’re no worse off than the rest of us. All of us need a savior and that’s why Jesus came as a baby in the first place!

Man 1: Yeah right! You can say that, but I don’t need some cosmic killjoy with a list of rules forcing me to give up all the fun I’ve been having.

Woman 1 (sarcastically): Just a little while ago, you were saying our house is underwater, your job is in jeopardy, the kids are driving you crazy, and you can’t stand my mom coming out for a little visit…Is that the fun you’re talking about or I have missed something?

Woman 2: What fun are you having that you don’t want to give up?

Man 1: Well, you know….!?

Woman 1 /Woman 2: No, I don’t!

Man 1: You church people are always doing super spiritual church stuff. I don’t want to do all that!

Woman 2: You don’t want a life that’s joyful, meaningful and pleasing to God?

Man 1: Sure I would, it’s just that I don’t want to give up all the other stuff that I do that I know that is not pleasing to God.

In comes Man 2 (husband of Wife 2)

Man 2: Ahh, there’s my beautiful wife. Been looking for you. The clover-spiced kumquats are finished on the grill.

Man 1: You’re kidding right?

Man 2: No, they’re really cooked. Blanched, fried and now simmering.

Woman 2: I better take a look at them. Thanks, honey.

(Woman 2 leaves)

Woman 1 to Man 2: Man 1 was just telling us God would blow a gasket if he ever came to church.

Man 2: I don’t think God has any gaskets…

Man 1: Well, not that. It’s just that I don’t want to be like you and (Woman 2).

Man 2: (Man 1), you’ve known me for a long time. What about me don’t you like?

Man 1: Besides the hat? Nothing really, it’s just that you always go to church and you spend your vacations doing church stuff…

Man 2: Oh, like the short term missions trips that we’ve done? All that means is that we love serving God and giving back something to Him. He has done so much for us. And hey, (Woman 2) gets some great recipes out of it!

Man 1: I just don’t think God likes me a whole lot, and I’m not sure I like Him!

Man 2: Well, then here’s Part II, and it’s quick: The Bible says that God loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever would believe in Him would inherit eternal life.

Man 1: Isn’t that the verse that the football player, Tim Tebow paints under his eyes?

Man 2: I’m not sure. But I have seen him paint Ephesians 2:8-10 – Hold on, I have it in the Bible, right here. [reaches for Bible and opens it, reading] “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast...”

Man 1: So Tim Tebow really believes in Jesus?

Man 2: Yep. Lots of well known people have believed in Jesus.

Woman 1: And they believe this story about the baby and the pigs and the manger?

Man 2: I don’t know about the pigs, but I’d be surprised if they don’t believe the Bible’s account. You see, Jesus’ birth is not just a cute story about pudgy babies. It’s about God’s love and man’s sin. That our sins were so serious to God, He would have to send every person away from Him. Many people would be separated from God in this reality and the next, which is Hell. So Jesus came, to be our savior, to reconcile us to God. But He had to be fully man first. So He came, lived a perfect life, and died on the cross, and rose again on the third day, fully man and fully God.

Man 1: Well, my kids have been saying something like that to me too.

Man 2: You should listen to them.

Man 1: Maybe I will. Services are the same time as Discipletown, right?

Man 2: Yep. Same as Discipletown - 10:30 every Sunday. We also have some great adult classes and Sunday School for kids at 9:00. We’d love to have you stop by for more than just babysitting.