We couldn’t compete
with the swell of creative force fueling the Stumptown 40 adult Pinewood
Derby. Past races have seen models made to look like a pierced cock
(complete with hairy balls), a whiskey bottle and Optimus Prime. One
year, three turd-shaped race cars rolled down the ramp—one in the shape
of South Park’s Mr. Hankey, the other two with corn kernels.

But when someone is
reprising the most exciting day on the Cub Scout calendar—with booze and
without homophobia—it’s worth whittling up something.

So WW
turned our little block of wood into Portland’s flagship car, a Subaru
Outback wagon just like the one your neighbor drives. There’s a
miniature rack to hold a tiny mountain bike or windsurf board. You’ll
find plenty of cargo space to haul native plants, recycled lumber, a
craft keg or several sweaty yoga mats. And, of course, it’s covered in
bumper stickers hitting all the right notes: preachy, nerdy and
provincial.

We’re pretty pleased with ourselves. Just like every other Outback owner.

Headout Picks

THURSDAY MAY 17

THE MAN WHO QUIT MONEY[CASHED OUT] Who hasn’t dreamed of
quitting society and going to live in a cave? Author Mark Sundeen tells
the story of Daniel Suelo, a guy who actually did just that. Powell’s on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.CHAD CHATS[POWERPOINT] Portland’s only dedicated
presenter of satirical PowerPoint presentations returns with another
evening of funny lectures on subjects such as “Where Babies Come From,
Where They Go When They Die, and Why This All is Your Fault.” The Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave., 228-7605. 8 pm. $5-$10.

FRIDAY MAY 18

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JACKPOTS[MUSIC] Dual
record-store/recording-studio businesses Jackpot and Jackpot! celebrate
their respective 15th birthdays in style, with an epic show headlined by
the local heros of Quasi and legendary Northwest rock outfit the Minus 5
(plus System and Station, the Alialujah Choir, Blue Skies for Black
Hearts and more). You’d be hard-pressed to find a more fitting tribute
to the Portland experience than this one. Bagdad Theater, 3702 Hawthorne Blvd. 8 pm. $10. 21+.

SATURDAY MAY 19

MAIFEST[BAVARIAN PARTY] Maifest? Oh, yeah, you
know her—Octoberfest’s shy kid sister. For the first time, new German
cultural group Zeitgeist Northwest will welcome spring with a yodeling
workshop, music from Bodacious, and a maypole dance. Oh, and beer, which
is how big sis got popular at parties. Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way. Free. 10 am-7 pm. zeitgeistnorthwest.org.

HARRY SMITH TRIBUTE[MUSIC] The release 60 years ago of Harry Smith’s epochal Anthology of American Folk Music
series was one of the most consequential acts of musicology ever
perpetrated. Tonight, Portland bluesman Joe McMurrian has curated an
ambitious tribute to that achievement, in which some 14 local acts will
perform material from the still-unmatched collection. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St. 7 pm. $15 advance, $18 day of show. All ages (minors must be accompanied by a parent).

MONDAY MAY 21

HARI KONDABOLU[COMEDY] A font of bile spewing in the
direction of America’s culture of idiocy, the Queens-born comic is cut
from the same scabrous cloth as Bill Hicks, aiming pointed broadsides at
society’s most hateful and hypocritical. That said, he seems like a
pretty chill dude. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 9 pm. $10.