I have French and Scandinavian ancestry, which means I'm descended from both beastly Vikings and cowardly, romantic pussies.
I charge with my battleaxe and my fearsome battle cry, but then I just run away and cry.

"ahem" The Normans successfully hijacked the English monarchy and Basically stole Normandy from the French. Then instead of driving them out because no one wants to fight Vikings (especially Rollo) The king of France just gave them the land, barely seems like a defeat to me

These simple "pirates" became known as the greatest seamen in the world, you seem to think that it was just a village of big hairy men going around killing and raping things, however the true beauty of northmen were their ships, these amazing bastards made the greatest vessels at this period in time, they commanded the greatest navy's with hundreds of ships, and thousands of men all ready to deploy upon a beach in a matter of minutes.

Each individual Norse ruler had the fealty of man local Norse leaders (chieftains, Earls, Hersirs, ect) they could then call upon them to create vast fleets of long-ships as well as many supplementary vessels, for example the siege of Paris was done with 400-700 ships and tens of thousands of men.

>implying the roman empire was efficient
Rome's ideology was based on expansion and conquest, and just like every other consequential empire it over expanded and collapsed, in fact it wasn't it "barbaric" forces that removed roman influence from northern Europe?

Chances are if your are french/Scandinavian your really just all Scandinavian. The vikings established many colony in France one you may have heard of was, and is still called Normandy. These Normans (old french for "northmen") thrusted themselves into both the French and English Monarchies. So if your ancestry can be linked to france, it's likely your french ancestors ancestry can be linked to Scandinavia.

I'm mostly Irish with a bit French so my skin is as pale as printer paper
Living in the southern region of North America makes my resistance to weather ****** up
Being used to the heat I hate the cold
But having descendants from Ireland makes me hate the heat

I come from a Highland-Scottish and Scandinavian ancestory, which means I have to shave twice a day, I have a good tolerance with alcohol, I have a strong resistance against the cold, and to top it all off! The Sun... it burns!!