Hey, Goldberry! Welcome/welcome back! I remember you as Salvia from other threads, though I don't think I was active on this one when you were. Congratulations on Phoebe!

Clay - that is a tough choice. I would hate the drive, too. And you are going to be having a baby and will have to cut yourself some slack - you just aren't going to be able to make it every day. My pendulum/gut says "pay for the preschool" though. Getting out of the house is going to be important to you - to all of you. Is there anything you can find to do regularly with Tor and babe so you can stay in town during preschool hours at least some days rather than commuting back and forth?

It is so not ideal but I'd probably pay the cc and then withdraw the $ if necessary again in Sept for the school fees. Does the interest savings for a few months make this worth doing at all?

I'm sorry that the job ended, but not sorry that you won't be stretched so thin anymore. You need some of your energy for *you*, mama. Hugs!

re: prayer - teaching children a prayer practice is important to me because (long story short) there were times when I was a child that I felt very afraid for physical and/or spiritual reasons, and prayer helped, even when there was no one to turn to. I hope my children are never in that kind of place, but if they are, I hope they will have prayer/meditation as tools to prevent despair/panic. (DId I share how my dentist-anxious middle child sat in lotus in the dentist's waiting room and Om'd for 10 minutes to reduce his anticipated pain? It made it easier for him and was his idea!)

I think that if I had come to Paganism before having my first child, I would have tried to write/develop my own prayers and meditations. Since I did not, I am pleased that they/we have the resource of very old prayers that have comforted so many millions/maybe even billions of people over history. I love the idea of adding new words to old rhythms.

Valerie, I've read McGowan's book The Source of Miracles. It is lovely - made me want to visit Chartres, or build my own labyrinth, changed the way I think about the Lord's Prayer. I really recommend it highly - and thank you for recommending McGowan in the first place.

(going to post and edit at this point, tired of losing posts :))

re: prayer beads

I started doing necklaces in each color of the chakra/in chakra stones over a year ago and have returned to the project lately.

My first was a heart chakra rose quartz necklace that I call my "patience" necklace. I just restrung my solar plexus "abundance" necklace and my sacral chakra "trust" necklace. The "trust" one makes me really happy right now - connects to my TM. I restrung it to add some lovely chunky carnelian stones that give it a satisfying weight. I may edit to add pics...

I have a bunch of white/clear quartz, amethyst, and flourite beads that I want to make into a crown chakra necklace. One problem I've had is finding wire strong enough to carry heavy/stone beads that doesn't fray and discolor the beads - that was a real problem with the rose quartz and I had to take the strand apart and clean the beads. I don't want discolored white/clear quartz! I've been using nylon-wrapped steel. I am a beading newbie - what would you all recommend?

When I first tried using my dh's rosary, I had no idea what prayers to say. I sat in meditation and said a different prayer/petition/thought for each bead. And it worked - I made a very powerful spiritual conection to the Goddess usually known in my world as Mary. I love the idea of the Pagan Prayer Beads book and the Pagan Lending Library. I'm in - more later!

it's actually sort of the same concept as FEs...... change the energy pattern, and send energy along the new pattern, and that new pattern becomes habit. (tapping, too. ;-)

exactly. yoga helps that too. i occasionally use my rescue remedy. i am interested in some FE's can you give me just ONE to start with. i am looking for something to help with emotional stuff like depression. i might sneak it into DH's tea too. ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by wombatclay

~~~~~~~`

Thursday is "scary hoop day"... I see the OB and should find out if the babe is "ok" or not and if the cyst is getting bigger (bad) or smaller (good). I'm stressing but trying to stay upbeat.

thinking of you. i hope tomorrow goes well. prayers and thoughts are with you and sweet babe.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CariOfOz

Oh hun *hugs* to you. I really hope that this serves as his wake up call and your family can get the help you need!

It's the companion book to this called the Sweet Poison quit plan. The experts would never be allowed to say that it's addictive and bad... just look at how much $$ he US govt pumps into the sugar /hfcs industry! It's really sad that they are resigning entire generations of american kids to eating rubbish and starting on the road to a very unhealthy life.. all for the sake of $ . The things the book says make perfect sense.. so much sense that it's fairly obvious that the govt & food industry DOES know this, but they dont' WANT to know it as it is not in THEIR interest. I am absolutely making the shift! Today the kiddo & I stopped at the coffee shop (we had to grab a few things at the supermarket so while we were there ;) and I suprised my barista friend by ordering a regular flat white with no sugar, and added my own splenda :).

I'm feeling very edgy with the whole NZ earthquake at the moment... I listened to the news earlier and the presenter was talking to a lady on a mobile phone that was trapped UNDER HER DESK in a collapsed building. And the silly cow was asking things like what is around you... HELLO the building is around her, she is terrified and this is what you ask her?? Comfort the woman, let her know help is on the way etc... I'm so disappointed in humanity at moments like that! On the upside, we heard from our brothers almost immediately.. they are a couple of hours south (in Dunedin) but Nigel often goes to Christchurch with work so it was nice to hear they are ok. We have had a bad year thus far, down here in the southern Hemisphere :(

thanks. he is going to get evaluated at a rehab place today. he keeps waffling about going to rehab or just getting counseling and antidpressants. he is scared i think. he hasnt drank since. i am going to fill out paperwork to see about getting county funding for him to go to therapy.

splenda is made from sugar. have you tried stevia or anything else?

oh my yes, you guys have been hit hard this year. i am so glad to hear you and your family are still ok.

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Thanks for the welcome backs! I will be sending the book to Valerie and she can coordinate passing it on when she is ready.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wombatclay

30 hours to go and hopefully this limbo will be over, one way or the other. Of course, it just means a new limbo will take it's place, but somehow it feels like tomorrow is the "big" day in terms of figuring things out.

Oh, Clay, I'm sorry you have been going through this! I hope tomorrow brings you peace!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aeress

Salvia/GoldBerry- So glad to see you! Congratulations on the birth of your 3rd daughter. I have found that having the 3 girls to really a magickal experience, they have such an intimate bond with each other. Do you still have goats? Stop by now and again, I miss seeing pics of your garden.

I love having a third daughter! You are right, it does feel magical, especially because I am the third of three daughters! We do still have our goats- and two sheep - and ten chickens. Love them and I should be out feeding them right now!

Quote:

Originally Posted by aweynsayl

GB, i saw you posted in the WWL thread and just about jumped out of my seat! congrats on the new babe, and it is SO SO good to "see" you!

Oh, how am I going to do a quick fly-by? I have so much to say, and so many of you to reply to, and about nine minutes, lol!

Thank you to ALL about the rosary suggestions, especially Aubergine, Sweetsunshine, and Clay, all of you YES were very helpful!! Later I'm going to collate and print them out, lol. Somehow. And then maybe I can start a rudimentary praying thingy tomorrow, or the next day! YAY!

Quote:

Originally Posted by LionessMommy therapist tells me this all the time. after awhile it becomes your new habit and and you are no longer faking it.

It does, which is why I LOVE "fake it till you make it". I have people tell me that "fake it" is lying and so won't do it, but hell-- no, it's not. You DO eventually "make it". It's growing a habit, IMO.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wombatclayClear as mud, yes? It's actually easier to do than to explain... kind of like reading a book about meditation and actually sitting quietly with a candle. It makes more "sense" when you're in the moment.

~~~~~~~`

Thursday is "scary hoop day"... I see the OB and should find out if the babe is "ok" or not and if the cyst is getting bigger (bad) or smaller (good). I'm stressing but trying to stay upbeat.

I had to read it a couple of times, but YES, it clarified a LOT. Thank you! And I'll be thinking of you amongst my own hugely busy day, tomorrow. I will try to remember to light a candle for you Must contemplate your school vs. debt issue. I have the same sorts of conflicts (well, not at all the same but the feelings are the same).

Quote:

Originally Posted by CariOfOzWe have had a bad year thus far, down here in the southern Hemisphere :(

My, yes, you really have (((Cari))).

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoldBerryMy surprise third daughter, Phoebe, is a real joy. She is 6 months old now and, well, she's heaven! It makes my heart happy to see how much her big sisters love her, too.

Woohoo Salvia! I mean, GoldBerry (lurve it!). Congrats! Love the name. We had a succession of parakeets named Phoebe when I was a kid...even the boy ones Yeah, we liked that name in our family

Quote:

Originally Posted by AeressI feel good knowing I can be assertive, get what I want and not get screwed in the process. Woman power! *hehe*

Yay! See? I knew you could do it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wombatclayAll the kiddos woke up on the wacky side of the bed today, and they did it early (Tor a few minutes before 5am sigh) so I can tell it's going to be a day just filled with "argh!". LOL Here we go!

I hate that! Those days, sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is knowing "All I have to do is get to bed at the end of the day, and I can have a new day tomorrow". Hang in there!

Quote:

Originally Posted by LionessMomthanks. he is going to get evaluated at a rehab place today. he keeps waffling about going to rehab or just getting counseling and antidpressants. he is scared i think. he hasnt drank since. i am going to fill out paperwork to see about getting county funding for him to go to therapy.

Lioness-- dunno if it'd be any helpful, but he's welcome to dialogue with me if he wants to. Seeing's how I've been there and all. Well, not rehab. But I'm an alkie and all that. If he has questions. He can relay them through you if need be. Or y'all can PM me. Glad to be of help :)

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exactly. yoga helps that too. i occasionally use my rescue remedy. i am interested in some FE's can you give me just ONE to start with. i am looking for something to help with emotional stuff like depression. i might sneak it into DH's tea too. ;)

there are some FEs that are supposed to be *excellent* for addictions, if your dh was interested, there are certainly FEs that might help.

there are also many that are splendid for depression-- in fact, there are a lot of articles online about people getting off depression meds and using FEs with amazing success. how does it mainly manifest for you? anxiety/fear is often treated with mimulus. i read about that one being used a lot with anxiety/depression. mustard might be better for "gloom" as opposed to *fear*.

but those are just two from the english line.... there are oodles others, that might be more well suited to you. the FE threads (there are two, lol) are *excellent*.... but i admit, can be overwhelming. BUT, bluets and panserbjorn are both wonderful and very giving of their time & knowledge. might be worth a pop over and ask for suggestions. (or tell me, and i can think about it, too. :-)

ETA: i just did this online quiz that someone on one of the threads had posted, and it "found" my remedy-- the one i am taking... which makes me feel ok about suggesting it. :-) might be a way to help find a FE to start with...

My pagan shop may be moving...to 5 minutes away from me! It's all very preliminary, but things feel promising! My friend really wants to expand and make it into a spiritual center more than a retail shop (though that too). The property being looked has lots of land, with a pond behind it.I told her I'd love to start doing handfastings and other rites of passage--it's something I've been wanting to do for awhile now. I've looked into Cherry Hill Seminary--anyone else hear of it?

And now I'm thinking I want to change my major. I have coursework toward a PhD in Applied Linguistics, but I haven't gone back (for many reasons) since my DD was born. Lately, I've been thinking about Anthropology instead, but....I'm having trouble justifying starting over again.

Witchy- I have had some leanings towards returning to school, but every time I imagine myself in school, studying with three kids underfoot, I get all anxious. That was a sure sign that I wasn't ready. Hehe. I think anthropology is great! My masters/doctorate is the one thing I want to do just for myself. Do you feel ready? I don't believe there is a perfect time to do anything, there may be a better time, a harder time, a quieter time, a busy time, but best time is a near impossible time to nail down. If you are ready, go for it!

UnschoolnMa- Sorry you are having a really bad patch! Thinking of you!

This Saturday I am teaching a Harry Potter class, well, more of a rotating center based workshop, but we are calling it Hogwarts on the Lake. I am looking forward to it. The kids are making wands, hats, potions, quills. Then the following week we are doing more potions, a magick spell, and another activity. This week, the kids get "Bertie Botts", next week we are doing pumpkin juice and pastries. Lots of fun!

The girls are playing their recorders along to Rob Zombie's Living Dead Girl. It's hysterical! Which is good, because I'm looking for some fun and giggles. I've decided the best way to get through today is to just smile and laugh and deny deny deny! The weather is helping too... it just started snowign again with these HUGE goose feather style flakes. Very Mother Holle, so I'm feeling blessed and like everything is going to be what it needs to be. Thanks for the thoughts and vibes all!

~~~~~~

School- The drive will stink (especially given my phobia!), but I've been driving 30-45 minutes each way for two years already (so Tor's newborn days were spent similarly). Although the drive will now be longer, it's not hugely longer than it already is. Though I'm sure it's going to "feel" longer since I have to go through town during morning rush hour. Ugh. And shudder. And whimper.

There are sort of two conflicting sets of problems. On the one hand is our family dynamic/needs of family members. DD1 is crazy outgoing and active. She adores all things hands on and at high speed. Legally she has to be in school this coming year. DD2 has SPD and is very, painfully, withdrawn from things that can cause unpredictability (like other people)... and part of her therapy over the past few years has been to work one on one with a PT to learn how to accept and manage new sensations. She was getting 4-6 hours a week of therapy and making progress. But now she gets NO therapy other than what I can manage to provide and those gains are slipping back. She needs to be in a more sensory intense setting where she can at least hold the line. So, the law says dd1 has to be in school and her own personality says she needs a lot of social/interactive/outside time. And her personality says that dd2 hates to be outside but needs to be challenged by a nurturing social and sensory stimulating environment.

The push and pull of the outgoing extrovert and the withdrawing introvert! And the real challenge is that due to our rural location we "need" a program that can handle both dd1 and dd2 at the same time/same place. Our local elem school is very financially challenged, under staffed, and friends who have taught there (mostly subs, the school has high turnover) said they personally wouldn't send their own children there. But more to the point... they don't have a program that dd2 could attend. If dd1 attends that school then there are no programs for dd2 that we could reach (programs here all have very similar start/end times and with a half hour minimum drive to anywhere I can't be in two places at once! lol). So despite being free for dd1, the public school option isn't really on the table.

Then there is the financial push/pull. Our credit card debt is such that we would need 30k+ to pay it all off. So while the tax return would certainly be a step in the right direction, it's literally a drop in the bucket. (it's under 5k) Dh wants to use the tax return for the cc debt and then "find a way" to make the preschool tuition payments. I'm all in favor of paying down the cc debt (I'm the one who really pushed for it and the one who stresses about it more) but if we put the tax return towards that then I don't think we can manage the preschool tuition. The school contract is VERY explicit and, short of the there is no way out of paying the full year tuition once the contract is signed (even moving away or withdrawing the child doesn't negate the financial obligation). So once we sign the contract we are absolutely committed to paying. I told dh that IF we sign the contract then we HAVE to have the money sitting there in the bank... and then he can "find a way" to add the amount of the tuition payment to the cc snowball. He didn't think he'd be able to do that, which kind of proved my point that we just don't have that much "free" in the budget once my extra income is removed.

ARGH! lol No one warned me about this when I got pregnant with dd1, you know? Sure they said life would be crazy, but this crazy?

And I was thinking that maybe if we didn't do the preschool we could instead sign the girls up for children's yoga (there is a studio just for kids, they can assist children with special needs in the general classes, and there is a 4-6 age group that both girls could attend) and maybe horse riding lessons (since I know hippotherapy can help with sensory integration and maybe it would also give dd2 more confidence in her abilities?). I also have a friend who teached irish fiddle and maybe we could do a back to back fiddle lesson for the girls? I just don't know if that sort of thing would result in more driving for me and if it would provide enough of the right sorts of stimulation for dd2/social interaction for dd1.

Giggle. Now off to dance in the snow and hope for happy scans and a negative cancer score! Or at least answers and plans of action.

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Quick pop-in as I feel like I have been MIA for too long, but I have kept all of you in my thoughts as I try and keep up with the pace of this thread.

Work = beastly and many other words which would consitute a UAV for me, but I have one bright spot which was a new deck I had ordered back over xmas. It arrived weeks ago, but in the midst of decluttering my desk or as I refer to it - the island of broken and forgotten things, I found the mail package again.

Miss everyone dearly and I hope to pop in more often! Healing thoughts, hugs and joy to all ya'll!

And you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.

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Originally Posted by witchygrrlMy pagan shop may be moving...to 5 minutes away from me! It's all very preliminary, but things feel promising! My friend really wants to expand and make it into a spiritual center more than a retail shop (though that too). The property being looked has lots of land, with a pond behind it.I told her I'd love to start doing handfastings and other rites of passage--it's something I've been wanting to do for awhile now. I've looked into Cherry Hill Seminary--anyone else hear of it?

And now I'm thinking I want to change my major. I have coursework toward a PhD in Applied Linguistics, but I haven't gone back (for many reasons) since my DD was born. Lately, I've been thinking about Anthropology instead, but....I'm having trouble justifying starting over again.

How cool would that be. You could walk to it! I've heard of Cherry Hill, but not much else. Just "heard of". Anthropology sounds fun. Actually Clay has me interested in working in a library-- or a bookstore. But then it'd be like working at a flea market, or a bakery-- too much addiction there for me!

Quote:

Originally Posted by AeressThis Saturday I am teaching a Harry Potter class, well, more of a rotating center based workshop, but we are calling it Hogwarts on the Lake. I am looking forward to it. The kids are making wands, hats, potions, quills. Then the following week we are doing more potions, a magick spell, and another activity. This week, the kids get "Bertie Botts", next week we are doing pumpkin juice and pastries. Lots of fun!

Gawd, that sounds so fun. Hey, if you can get Bigelow's Pumpkin Spice herb tea, it makes an amazing pumpkin juice, both hot and cold. If you sweeten it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wombatclayThe girls are playing their recorders along to Rob Zombie's Living Dead Girl. It's hysterical!

OMG, that's like the day I heard my 10yo ds (well, he was 9) singing something by the Dead Boys, around the house, and then another day, God Save The Queen by the 'Pistols. I was like, how in the world do you know those songs??? I mean-- I listened to them when they were new! Like 25 years ago! Turns out they were on a skateboarding Nintendo DS game. Who knew. I saw White Zombie back when I was like...hmm, awhile ago. Can't remember if I'd gotten sober by then or not. I think maybe so. I don't know why but I'm thinking they were with Type O Negative? But that can't be right. I must be mixing up shows.

How are you today? It's 2:25-- did you get your stuff done yet? What's the news, hon? Oh gods I hope it's good, or at least Not Bad

M had an utterly horrid night last night, and all day yesterday, actually. He had a run-in with his boss first thing in the morning, and got sent home. I kind of don't blame him, as the boss is a young, I-inherited-a-business-I-know-nothing-about-but-I'm-your-boss kind of idiot, and treats M like a slave, and M just kind of had it up-to-here with it. OTOH, he could probably have handled it with more grace than he likely did.

He got really, really depressed over it-- he's over a barrel. It's not like jobs are a dime a dozen. Even though he can't make ends meet as it is, it's better than the alternative.

Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, he needs more meds (higher dosage), and he was more depressed than he should have been, and....check this out-- it was past his bedtime, the icing on the cake arrived-- his ex told him, in a very vindictive way, that 10 years ago she never did sign the divorce papers or sent them in, so they aren't divorced after all Here he was thinking he's been divorced for 10 years!!! I don't know if it's true, or she's just being...well, something I can't say. But I'll tell you what, she said she wanted money out of him, and he said he didn't have any, and get this: she said "How much does <Maiasaura> mean to you? Find the money". Son of a motherless goat. Srsly???

Thankfully that particular issue has plenty of time to resolve. But ye gods!!

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clay, i actually *adore* the horse/yoga/fiddle idea. i mean, i can understand feeling the need for "more" (ok, not really, i'm such a simplist, lol), but it seems to me there might be a lot to be said for flexibility in your plans right now, and given the school's inability to provide that, i would personally lean away from it, just purely pragmatically. and, again, i lurve the horse/yoga/fiddle plan. there's just something about it that feels good to me. thinking of you today.

dh is one major step closer to completion of his grad work. i'm so proud, and sooooooo exhausted, lol. it's been a heck of a week, dear gods. but he just gave me a really bright spot by indicating that when he's done, i get to play "eternal student" next, lol.

I didn't even try to keep up in January and February. I spent too much time in my DDC I suppose.

*hugs* to many of you as I read some of the last few pages.

I am 21 weeks today and so far so good...baby looks awesome and other than a small cold I have at the moment, things are doing well. We have an interview in early March for DD's school. I'm not worried about the school part, because she loves preschool. I am worried about the school bus since she doesn't have the strength in her ankles to go up stairs by herself and she has hypotonia so her abdominals aren't strong either so I am afraid that sitting in a school bus without restraints may not be a good idea. I will have to see what they offer.

Clay - you have so much going on mama, I am wishing you a few moments of meditation so the gods can speak to you about what is best for your family.

Like many of the treasure mappers, I am in a decluttering mode. I did my two bedside tables today and it looks great (they have 3 shelves each so there was a good pile of stuff. Part of it is getting ready for baby I know.

I am trying to find some great resources for a blessingway. So many thoughts about it...I don't have many people to invite...but I would like to make a necklace (maybe get some online friends or people far away to send a few that we can put together), walk a labyrinth, and not sure what else...maybe a few readings or picnic in the park providing the weather is good. I know there is one book out there that is pretty popular. I may just have to hit the library and take a peak.

Sending lots of healthy, peaceful vibes to all the pagan mamas!

Nicole: mama to DD and DS, childbirth educator and doula. Dancing the spiral dance of life

Clay, good luck hun. I agree though, I wouldn't obligate myself to pay the tuition based on the idea that you'll find it somewhere! If dh doesn't think you can find the money to snowball the cc debt after paying tuition it's unrealistic to think the converse would be true either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maiasaura

Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, he needs more meds (higher dosage), and he was more depressed than he should have been, and....check this out-- it was past his bedtime, the icing on the cake arrived-- his ex told him, in a very vindictive way, that 10 years ago she never did sign the divorce papers or sent them in, so they aren't divorced after all Here he was thinking he's been divorced for 10 years!!! I don't know if it's true, or she's just being...well, something I can't say. But I'll tell you what, she said she wanted money out of him, and he said he didn't have any, and get this: she said "How much does <Maiasaura> mean to you? Find the money". Son of a motherless goat. Srsly???

Thankfully that particular issue has plenty of time to resolve. But ye gods!!

Um... how could he not know he did not recieve a final declaration of divorce (or whatever it's called?)???? I'm pretty sure that'd be extortion and that he should give legal aid a call and/or contact a paralegal that handles divorces. If he filed 10yrs ago but she didn't sign there may be a way around her?

It's my work weekend, so I will likely not be on till sunday night or monday! I have to share something cool though... I get to go to the kids 'parade' (which is basically an assembly) today because Connor is student of the week He's been in his new, grade 1, class about 3 days now and he really likes it... and the teacher is terrific. Lucas is getting better in class, behaviour wise, slowly but surely, as well

Pagan lovin' WOW playing mum to 5 boys in the wonderful land of Oz ... FOR THE HORDE! hehehe

Maia, I just have to say - at the story of M's ex. What a pile of coprolites. I'm sorry he had such a bad day - hope tomorrow is better.

Migraine - gone almost instantly with cell salts. See Cell Salt thread in Heath and Healing for more on my astonishment about this. I've been fighting migraines for 20 years and have NEVER experienced such complete and instant relief. And it hasn't worn off, either.

Well, yesterday was a looooooooong day. Med testing started aroun 11am and we didn't get home till almost 7pm. But... EVERYONE IS OK!!!!!! The babe looks fine, and the GynOnc said "don't come back" (well, he said my Ob/GYN would monitor things but he didn't think it was cancer so YAY!).

We told our families (and like expected, it wasn't fun... various people informing us that we're irresponsible and that they'll no longer be able to "help out", etc) and friends and I'm actually giddy that I can focus on the happy parts of pregnancy (baby names, clothes, etc) and stop worrying about cancer/late term abortion.

Maia- I'm so sorry. M should certainly check the court records and then contact a lawyer... most offer a free consult, and some will work pro bono. So it's worth checking. Keeping documentation of any threats, requests for money, involvement over the years, etc can help.

Cherry Hill- I nearly applied a few years ago but the annual residency requirements didn't work my schedule at the time. I know (professionally) a few of the faculty/staff and there are a few mdc mamas enrolled there (or there were a few years ago)... it's a good program if your goals are to work in a ministry field (military chaplain, prison chaplain, community chaplain, or as an advisor to a hospice, funeral home, or other "life transition" program) or in a Divinity program at a community or junior college. Or if you just really want to study religion in depth for a while!

preschool vs classes- my main concern with classes is what to do with the kiddos not in the class. I'd have a newborn and a 2yo with me at all times, and classes are generally 30 minutes. So while both girls could take the same yoga class, they'd at best have consecutive horse or fiddle classes... meaning an hour during which time I'd... what? Sit in the car? Or a waiting room? With three out of four kiddos? That's the bit that has me worried. And in terms of budget, I looked at prices last night and we'd be able to afford ONE class. (two if it's yoga and fiddle though) I'm going to check the Y though... they may have more options than the last time I looked (it's a college town, most of the classes are aimed at the 20 something set), and the big fitness center says they're planning children friendly classes so maybe a family membership there? It would be wonderful to have access to a pool/swimming lessons for the kids/and so on!

I have till Wed to decide (since Wed is the last day for preschool contract signing), We'll work it out!

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i love our YMCA. it has a day care. so for up to 2 hours per shift your kids can play with other kids, if it works for you. we do get a reduced price for being low income which also lets us have half price swimming lessons and half price tae kwon do lessons. but yoga and stuff for me is free. and i love swimming in an indoor pool. not having to slather on sunscreen all the time or worry about sunburn etc. and the sauna steam room and hot tub. so nice. i hope you find what you need. as a mom with 4 kids i can tell you that adding the 4th one wasnt any harder than the 3rd one was. the little one was always in the moby or whatever until she was big enough to start crawling around. by that time the older ones were well... older, and could follow direction better. so it is the youngest 2 who need constant hands on. dont worry, it will all work out.

i am glad to hear babe looks good. it must feel good to be able to relax. i cant wait to hear if it is a boy or girl. so exciting.

i cant wait to be pregnant again. i am still pretty sad i wasnt pregnant that time i thought i was :( DD2 will be 17 mo next week and still no AF. 4 more months till she is as old as DD1 was when i got preg with DD2. i still want one more. my family doesnt feel complete yet.

DH has been sober for 5 days. and he started getting cranky already. he kept trying to pick a fight last night. he went to bed before me. so i turned on intervention. i dont know why i like that show but he came out and said something about that being our house and then went to bed and slammed the bedroom door. i said nothing and ignored his little hissy fit. i know he is just cranky bc he hasnt had a drink in so long. the show wasnt even about alcoholics., it was about some women addicted to herione living on the streets. i hope he can handle it until his next therapy appt. sheesh, it reminds me of me when i quit smoking almost 5 years ago. he put up with me, guess i owe him. lol.

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Just checked our Y and nothing much has changed... there is one "creative movement" class for dd1's age group and one for dd2's age group. But both require a parent present for each child (so no bringing siblings) and both charge "extra" above the membership price. And they only offer one family swin time a week. Bleh. The big fitness center offers a fee based child care service with "hea;thy activities for older children too" so I guess that's what they were advertising. This town really does have diddly for kids. It's crazy!

On the up side, we do have a yoga studio just for kids. That's kind of cool. :)

We're getting slammed with a crazy winter storm and DH is going to try and get home soon... no snow plows have gone down our road yet and that's really odd. We have a solid 8 inches of new snow and the winds are picking up. We're supposed to get a new mythbuster dvd in the mail today and the girls are going bonkers... every few minutes they want to check the mail and when I tell them there hasn't been a car past in hours they get upset. I really really REALLY hope the mail dude gets through the snow and that there is a disc in our mailbox SOON. Or there may be ballistic gel bloodshed around here.

Apparently my milk supply has tanked and Tor is furious. He latches on, nurses for a minute, pops off and screams. And screams and hits and screams and kicks and screams and... you get the idea. He yells "boom boom boom!" (the word all the kids have used for nursing) and keeps pulling my shirt back up and down again as if he is "resetting" the system... and when there isn't any more milk with the re-set the screaming starts again. I don't know what to do. DD1 just nursed her way along, never really complaining about anything during dd2's pregnancy. And dd2 self-weaned when my milk started tasting funny while pregnant with ds (she gave me a few disgusted looks, a few cranky days, and that was it). So this "how dare you not have yummy milk in the quantities I require?" scream fest is a new one for me. And not something that is helping. My stomache is still super twitchy... in fact I've lost a fair chunk of weight since pre-preg (not sure if I mentioned that in this thread, I know I mentioned it but my brain is mush at the moment). And dealing with an enraged toddler while feeling like poo is no good. Plus Tor is a very physical kiddo. When he is frustrated his response right now is hit/kick/bite/throw/stamp/rip and he's a pretty strong little guy too so this can cause some real damage.

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Clay- Do you have a pack and play type thing you could put him in when he has nursed but throws a tantrum? (Though, being so physical, maybe he would just climb out) I wouldn't be able to handle a tantrum over something I had no control over. I feel for Tor, and you, it sounds like a rough adjustment period. *hugs*

DH has been sober for 5 days. and he started getting cranky already. he kept trying to pick a fight last night. he went to bed before me. so i turned on intervention. i dont know why i like that show but he came out and said something about that being our house and then went to bed and slammed the bedroom door. i said nothing and ignored his little hissy fit. i know he is just cranky bc he hasnt had a drink in so long. the show wasnt even about alcoholics., it was about some women addicted to herione living on the streets. i hope he can handle it until his next therapy appt. sheesh, it reminds me of me when i quit smoking almost 5 years ago. he put up with me, guess i owe him. lol.

Somehow I dont' think the mood swings of a person quitting smoking are even close to an alcoholics when they stop drinking hun. You love him, so obviously you want to stand by him, but he does not get to go past being cranky, if you know what I mean. This is his to work through, but he has to learn to do it without being hurtful to you & the rest of the family.. HE owes that to YOU!

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Originally Posted by wombatclay

Apparently my milk supply has tanked and Tor is furious. He latches on, nurses for a minute, pops off and screams. And screams and hits and screams and kicks and screams and... you get the idea. He yells "boom boom boom!" (the word all the kids have used for nursing) and keeps pulling my shirt back up and down again as if he is "resetting" the system... and when there isn't any more milk with the re-set the screaming starts again. I don't know what to do. DD1 just nursed her way along, never really complaining about anything during dd2's pregnancy. And dd2 self-weaned when my milk started tasting funny while pregnant with ds (she gave me a few disgusted looks, a few cranky days, and that was it). So this "how dare you not have yummy milk in the quantities I require?" scream fest is a new one for me. And not something that is helping. My stomache is still super twitchy... in fact I've lost a fair chunk of weight since pre-preg (not sure if I mentioned that in this thread, I know I mentioned it but my brain is mush at the moment). And dealing with an enraged toddler while feeling like poo is no good. Plus Tor is a very physical kiddo. When he is frustrated his response right now is hit/kick/bite/throw/stamp/rip and he's a pretty strong little guy too so this can cause some real damage.

Oh dear that does not sound fun :S I was very lucky when I got pg with each of the younger two, neither of them really lost the plot about nursing during the first few months of pregnancy... after that, when I guess the taste/quantity would change, they simply toddled off and were pretty happy to go for a sippy cup. I agree with Karen, maybe a 'safe place' (for EVERYONE) is in order if he rages physically? Just until he isn calmer... obviously that will be a repeat performance though, as I think it will take a while for him to 'get' that mommy isn't going to let you bash her & anyone else around!

I'm off to work tonight, worked last night as well. Only managed to get 6hrs sleep today, I went to bed at 10 and got up at 4... I was hoping to repeat the sleeping till 630pm thing lol. Next week we have the 'meeting' to sort out the proposed changes.... the staffer on today says she's been told that the overnights are gone, and that there will be 2 staff on from 4-10pm or so instead.. one in the office, one on the road doing drop ins. I'm HOPING they can find enough hours to cover us all... but with some staff having 60hr a fortnight & better contracts.. I'm a little uneasy :(

The hubby took the boys out to the park today, and dragged Derrick along hehe. They stopped at the shops and he treated them to chicken wrappers at maccas (mcdonalds lol) and he got the boys one of the lego ninjago spinners they wanted. Quinn hasn't made a peep all day, he's happily sat whereever and spun his lego dude lol... now and again grabbing lucas by the arm and asking him to come play ninjago with him hehehe. Totally cute!

Also, today I start searching for a new rental home near the boys school in earnest. We will be moving at the end of March :) Dear goddess, let us find the right house for us, let us have a smooth move, and let it not be a financial strain! Think good thoughts ladies!~

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And I think we've got a plan for preschool! It's convoluted but basically if we use the tax return to pay off one of our "bigger" cards then the newly freed up minimum monthly payment from that card plus the amount we already pay for preschool more or less covers the cost of the 2 day/wk program for both girls! Yay hurray and all that. LOL I can now cross that off my list of obsessive late night worry items. Which is wonderful. ;)

Hmmm... we don't have a pack/play type thing anymore and yeah, Tor would just climb out. But I have been trying to follow the sort of emotional support techniques suggested by Solter in the Aware Baby (which I feel are more appropriate to toddlers than to babies anyway) and some of the "sit with the tantrum" ideas from old Mothering articles. If he hits, kicks, or bites me I put him down and sit near him while he works out the frustration. We've already more or less weaned from public nursing (he's 18mo, so unless it's emergency/booboo nursing he is old enough to wait till we find a quiet spot) so at least I'm not dealing with public tantrums! I really hope he gets a handle on this soon though because he is really intense, and strong, and even if he isn't hitting me he will hit himself or slam his head into the floor. :( Poor pumkin! There just isn't as much milk as he wants these days!

Speaking of milk... we had been doing casein free to see if it helped Ro (and the rest of us, but mostly her). And it seemed to help a bit, but not enough to keep it up. Well, now we're getting WIC and are literally drowning in cow milk (15 gallons a month!). DH and I can't drink cow milk so the kids have been drinking it. And wow! It's amazing... Laia and Tor have both had eczema flares and Ro's eyes have huge red circles under them with itchy spots spread over her cheeks. And all three have complained of upset stomachs (or shown a real shift in diaper production and amount of painful gas) almost every day. The only thing that has changed is the amount of cow milk being consumed (obviously it's generic store milk, the WIC tickets don't allow organic or, heaven help us, raw LOL). So it's a kick in the butt for sure. We're picking up our regular soy milk today, and I'll be turning all our future gallons into either yogurt or skin wash. It reminds me of the window wrap I put up in the fall... I never think it's doing anything until a wrap gets blown off and THEN the drafts let me know that yes, in fact, the wrap was making a difference. Same thing here... I didn't think the no-milk routine was doing anything but huh. Guess it was! And even DH is on board with getting off the dairy again. (dh and can't have liquid milk, but cheese? ooooooh, we're cheese fiends and that was the hardest for us to cut).

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Originally Posted by AeressMaia- what a bunch of crap, sheesh, what a horrible thing to do (the ex wife)

Oh, I know. I am stunned. What is hard to believe is how people who (and not just M, I mean lots of people) spent so many years together can be so evil to one another. I mean...M goes back and forth about what a wonderful mom she was to their kids, and yet....things like this. I don't know how I'm supposed to ever integrate into his life there, in the physical, eventually, with this garbage going on. I do think part of it is she's panicking because their 30yo dd is getting sick of living with her mother, I think, and if she gets "kicked out" of the dd's house, she will have nowhere to go and nothing to go there with. Yes, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt...still, though, that's no excuse for treating other people poorly. Especially someone (um, me?) that you've never even met!

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Originally Posted by singin_angelI am 21 weeks today and so far so good...

I am trying to find some great resources for a blessingway. So many thoughts about it...I don't have many people to invite...but I would like to make a necklace (maybe get some online friends or people far away to send a few that we can put together), walk a labyrinth, and not sure what else...

Oh, yay, hi hi hi and congrats!!

Blessingway...before or after baby's born? We did a baby blessing for ds when he was 6mo old. We cast circle, and one part of it was that I had a bowl of really neat beads (big clunky ones) and everybody chose a bead, and later in the ritual, added an "attribute" (gift) to the bead. Kind of like in...oh, which fairy tale was that? Sleeping Beauty? But only good ones You know, things like laughter and honesty and compassion and stuff that would serve ds well throughout his life. Though I forget what every single one was...I wish I had written them down. At any rate, I had them made into a good strong necklace and I've put it away and I'm going to give it to ds when he reaches maturity-- or, more likely, if he goes through a manhood ceremony, then. And also, the book(s) he was named for, I was lucky enough to have signed by the author (to him), and he'll get those, one day, too. Yep, I'm prouda myself for those things

Quote:

Originally Posted by CariOfOzUm... how could he not know he did not recieve a final declaration of divorce (or whatever it's called?)???? I'm pretty sure that'd be extortion and that he should give legal aid a call and/or contact a paralegal that handles divorces. If he filed 10yrs ago but she didn't sign there may be a way around her?

He has a paper. I don't know that he ever looked at it that closely to see if her signature is on there or not. You know how men can be sometimes He just told me (on phone now)-- I asked "Did you never look on there to see if her signature's on there?" and he said "I dunno. It's in the safe". GRRR. Men.

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Originally Posted by bluetsMaia - yowsa. and M's UAV ex thinks that someone with no money can get her more money? let's squeeze water from a rock while we're at it.

Right? Like banks...let's charge a fee for having no money in your account! Duh!

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Originally Posted by DaughterOfKaliMaia- He should be able to go to the town hall where he filed to find out if he's officially divorced. If he's not, I suggest he try looking for a lawyer who does Pro Bono cases.

Yep. Agreed. #1 is check the damn paper in the safe! Duh! And #2 is go downtown to the wherever they keep those records (court house?) to see if it's been filed. THEN further measures if (hopefully not) necessary.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wombatclayWell, yesterday was a looooooooong day. Med testing started aroun 11am and we didn't get home till almost 7pm. But... EVERYONE IS OK!!!!!! The babe looks fine, and the GynOnc said "don't come back" (well, he said my Ob/GYN would monitor things but he didn't think it was cancer so YAY!).

We told our families (and like expected, it wasn't fun... various people informing us that we're irresponsible and that they'll no longer be able to "help out", etc) and friends and I'm actually giddy that I can focus on the happy parts of pregnancy (baby names, clothes, etc) and stop worrying about cancer/late term abortion.

YAY YAY YAY about the babe, and about no cancer! Woohoo!

And as for your family...if they don't want to "help out" that's not the kind of people I'd want helping, anyway

Lemme know what you need-- HEY!! We can have a virtual baby shower! Woohoo!

Quote:

Originally Posted by LionessMomDH has been sober for 5 days. and he started getting cranky already. he kept trying to pick a fight last night. he went to bed before me. so i turned on intervention. i dont know why i like that show but he came out and said something about that being our house and then went to bed and slammed the bedroom door. i said nothing and ignored his little hissy fit. i know he is just cranky bc he hasnt had a drink in so long. the show wasnt even about alcoholics., it was about some women addicted to herione living on the streets. i hope he can handle it until his next therapy appt. sheesh, it reminds me of me when i quit smoking almost 5 years ago. he put up with me, guess i owe him. lol.

While he doesn't really have an excuse, like Cari said, to act like a UAV with you-- just from the horse's mouth, it is BLOODY HARD to get sober. REALLY, really hard. Remember, I don't know how long he's been drinking, but alcohol has been like part of his blood now. His breath. His being. He will have HUGE emotional rollercoaster rides, for a long time-- mine lasted like 9 months!! I cried, laughed, got angry, lashed out at people, maniacally crazy, depressed, up down up down up down.

If nobody's told him to expect this, it might be utterly confusing to him, as well. He might think he's cracking up, and he might think the only way to stop it is to turn to drink again.

I wonder if there's a way you can gently tell him that your alkie friend (me) said this is perfectly normal. And if, in a calm moment you tell him this, and he hears you nicely, maybe to suggest that he be aware that he'll go through some shit and to maybe have a plan to try to counter-act it-- like, TELL you that he's feeling lousy, or cranky, or whatever, and have a plan, like put himself in some sort of timeout, or go for a walk, or pray, or whatever.

HTH :) Is he going to meetings? He should probably tell people there that he's going through this. The ones with more experience will help him through.

Hang in there, Lioness Hugs for both of you. Such a courageous journey for you both. Kudos to him, too It's not easy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wombatclaySpeaking of milk... we had been doing casein free to see if it helped Ro (and the rest of us, but mostly her). And it seemed to help a bit, but not enough to keep it up. Well, now we're getting WIC and are literally drowning in cow milk (15 gallons a month!). DH and I can't drink cow milk so the kids have been drinking it. And wow! It's amazing... Laia and Tor have both had eczema flares and Ro's eyes have huge red circles under them with itchy spots spread over her cheeks. And all three have complained of upset stomachs (or shown a real shift in diaper production and amount of painful gas) almost every day.

WOW. Nothing like a sure sign that y'all are intolerant, huh? Well....stinky-poo, but a good lesson. Now, at least, you know for sure.

Off to bed soon. It's been a LONG day!

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clay: can you get something other then cows milk with your WIC? maybe more of some other food. milk is pretty pricey so maybe the would be happy to give you more fresh produce coupons or something. oh and the whole family bull [email protected] that chaps my butt. when we told my folks they were pissed off and not excited at all. and i am sorry but this isn't about them. it made me so mad. i can't imagine hating on my kids for having babies. >:(

maia: bleck about M's not ex ex-wife.

we are doing good. fiona is just growing and growing. she has put on 2 pounds and grown an inch in the last month. :) she is so sweet. i feel so blessed to have her around.

h

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