Managing Change

Category Archives: Aikido

I’ve been a trainer and teacher for all my adult years. At the core, it is what I am. It seems I look at every situation as a learning opportunity – sometimes to the frustration of my friends and family.

Always trying to find better ways to reach people I developed three basic principles that appear in everything we do: patience, balance, and relaxation. Before we get twisted in multiple definitions let me define how I use them.

Patience is about waiting for the right moment to act. You do this automatically in many situations. An example is waiting your turn to speak when in a conversation with someone. If you try to speak at the same time as someone else something in the conversation gets lost.

Balance is about knowing what to do when patience has determined the right moment to act. Knowledge coupled with understanding creates balance. We are learning creatures. The more we learn the better our lives become. The more we learn the more balance we have in our lives.

Relaxation is about not trying to make something happen but letting it happen. When we have patience to wait for the right moment; have the balance of knowing and understanding what to do; and trust to let it happen, all goes well. The hard part of this is overriding our desire to control everything around us.

Let’s look at an example where you probably already employ our three principles: driving a car. You’re on the highway and determine you need to change lanes because the car you are approaching is moving slower than you. Do you just switch lanes? Hopefully not; first you look to make sure the lane where you want to go is clear. You wait for the right moment to change lanes. This becomes especially important the more traffic there is on the road. Now that we’ve got the right moment we have to know what to do in that moment; turn on the blinker, rotate the steering wheel appropriately, check our speed, and keep an eye on all the other vehicles. The relaxation is a little harder to see. No, we don’t just go limp at the steering wheel and expect the car to operate on its own. Relaxation in this case is being comfortable with our steering; speed and spacing to change lanes. If you don’t think this is letting it happen try driving with someone who has just received their driving permit.

I have yet to be presented with a situation where these principles don’t apply. Think of anything you already do well and these three principles will be present. Think of something you want to do better and at least one of these three will be the reason you still struggle.