I like to think of struggles and breakthroughs as being on the flip side of the same coin.

When I check in with clients I have them identify their biggest struggle for the week. I also have them tell me their biggest breakthrough.

Time and time again their struggles and breakthroughs are one in the same. The struggle forced them to become more aware of a problem. That added awareness and then persistence through the struggle is what created a breakthrough moment for them.

Now they can take what they learned and apply it to their life going forward. The best part is they become more confident that they can handle anything that life throws at them and they start viewing struggles as signs that they’re on the right track.

Seek Out the Struggle

They start seeking out the struggle because they know a breakthrough is right on the other side. Find it. Persist through it. Experience a breakthrough. Apply it.

Rinse and repeat dozens of times and you’ll be a changed person for life.

Yet many people will still give up at the first signs of a struggle. They think losing weight and changing their lifestyle should be easy.

It’s not. Trust me.

Those dramatic transformations you see? I guarantee you they’ve thought about quitting – a lot. It was hard. They struggled.

But they persisted and broke through. The biggest drivers of their success were born from those struggles.

I think you have it in you to persist too. But you have to start expecting welcoming the struggle into your life so that you can experience this transformation.

Don’t be afraid to fail. You only fail if you give up.

Do Your Best With What’s In Front Of You

There is always something you can do to be healthier and happier, regardless of the circumstances surrounding your life. You owe this to yourself.

Your life is never going to be perfect. Things are always going to be busy. When a hectic time during your life passes there will be 3 more hectic times to take its place.

If you keep hitting “pause” on your lifestyle change you will never experience the change you want. Don’t try to be perfect. Don’t wait for perfect circumstances.

Both are unrealistic.

Instead, do what you can with what you have under the circumstances you’re in.

That’s all you can ask of yourself. And that’s usually enough to get results. At the very least it’s better than the alternative.

Find the struggle. Persist through the struggle. Have your breakthrough.

Change is on the other side.

26 Comments

Tony Schober

Hey Everyone,

Just wanted to let you know that if you need more help losing weight you can download my ebook The 10 Forgotten Rules of Weight Loss absolutely free.

I’ve noticed that myself with our check-ins. The added awareness really does help. In the past I used to blow off my small breakthroughs but now they are measures of progress and they really help me keep doing this. Thanks!

Hi Michael, I don’t imagine you look terrible. There’s a good chance that what you did to lose 80lbs is the same thing that will take you the last 20. I would just make minor adjustments to the good habits you’ve developed. For example, stop eating when you’re 70% full instead of 80%. Or try sitting with your hunger just a little longer.

lol. I used to feel the same way. But I did start looking at the struggle a little differently – changing my perspective of the struggle away from something that needed to be avoided, and instead looking at it as a guidepost for the direction I need to go.

There’s a good book called “The Obstacle is the Way” that essentially talks about this concept (replace “obstacle” with “struggle”).

I’m at a positive stage in my healthy eating/weight loss journey, or at least I thought I was. I am at my personal goal weight, having lost 3 stone in a year. My goal was also to cut out processed and sugary foods to be increase physical activity, all of which I have done, However trying to maintain my preferred weight has been more problematical as I had fallen into the trap of eating too few calories to get to that stage. Now of course, I’m stuck because I fear weight gain if I increase my calories. I love food but don’t want it to rule my life. Can you advise the best course of action for me without undoing all my hard work o er the past year? My calorie intake is approx 1000 to maintain, but I also exercise most days … pilates swimming 100 lengths and Zumba toning both once a week, and walking a 3-5 miles every week day. I love my new lifestyle, fitness level and shape, but need a more realistic means of maintaining this? Thank you for your article which hit home hard!

Hi Sheena, since most of your struggle is calorie related, I would start working towards moving away from counting calories.

Start with where you are now and add in one mindful eating day to your week where you don’t count calories and instead eat slowly, mindfully, and stop at 80% full.

The goal will be to transition from 1 day to 2 days, 3, 4, etc, until eventually you aren’t counting calories anymore. Doing it by transitioning will enable you to trust yourself to control your food intake.

Hi tony
I currently work out four days a week ,
I typically burn 2400 calories each day I’m working out , I’m averaging calorie intake of around 600 to 1000 , been exercising like this for around a month , not really wanting to loose a huge amount of weight maybe 6 lbs , but I’m not really seeing a difference , I’ve now decided to try and up my calorie intake. I’m not eating rubbish foods but am struggling to eat more as I’m just not hungry any suggestions
Many thanks
Tee-Louise

Thanks tony ,
I’m only going of Fitbit for burning calories , I know it could be inaccurate too
I’ll try add that To my intake it’s very difficult to eat more when for years you’ve trained your brain to eat less to loose thanks for advice

thank you for all the helpful tips you have really changed the way i view my exercise and healthy eating, i too was once focused on the scale and when it doesnt move i feel i want to give up but i am slwoly reaching that point of just enjoying the exercise and how it makes me feel i am actually forgetting about the scale as i ditched it… and it feels great… i run…brisk walk… box…tabeo…i do everythign i possibly can becuase i love doing it and i love being active and the feeling it gives me… i feel so much lighter and my fitness level has increased so much. thank you very much for all your help and info please dont stop

The best part is the more engaged you are with your lifestyle and the more you notice how good moving your body makes you feel, the more likely you’re going to stick with the behaviors that will eventually create that transformation you’re seeking.

its all thanks to you , you have completely changed how i think and feel exercise and healthy lifestyle is forever not just until we loose the weight , so one day at a time and just enjoying every part of the exercise and the feelings like you say…awesome keep it up tony thank you

Hi Tony, My young adult daughter always worked out and made great efforts to stay at a healthy weight and thin shape. It was a constant effort; way of life, as we all know, but she maintained with occasional fluctuations of a few pounds. Then she got on the pill, and after a month’s vacation, returned around 20lbs. heavier. She claimed she would get back to how she was. Six months later, and where we are today, she has put on at least another 10 lbs., stopped doing excercise, eats indiscriminately, and worse, says she rather stay like she is now, ’cause it’s easier. She knows she has a beautiful face and now says that suffices.
What happened to her committment to a healthy lifestyle and really feeling good about herself? I can’t truly believe she is happy this way. How can she go back to how she was? My encouragement, though effective in the past, is useless now. The longer time passes, I know it will get harder. My heart is broken for her. Tony, I hope you just might state something that could trigger something in her head and heart. We are all thin at home, but it takes a conscience and effort for us to remain this way. She’s just 21; there has to be something that will snap her out of her new ways. Thank you so much Tony, in anticipation, I remain, The Concerned Mom

Hi Deborah, I understand your concern. However, from my experience, the decision to change has to be made by her, for her. Outside pressures tend to make the issue worse. So I recommend that spouses/parents/etc just lead by example and be open for the day they are ready to change and come to you for help.

She likely isn’t happy and she likely doesn’t feel her best. If you were to talk to her about the situation I would leave physical appearance completely out of the conversation and instead talk about how she’s feeling. Make sure her eating/exercise or lack thereof isn’t a channel for something else going on in her life.

Come from a place of understanding and support and she’ll be more open to listening, which could spur her to want to change.

Thank you so kindly for your response. I will most definitely change my approach. I do sense that she is going through social changes, but unfortunately she is not offering any clues to her mental metamorphosis either, other than that she admits that she is changing because she is an adult now. I tend to discuss the part that I can see with her, the physical. I will be an example for her and stop talking about her need to get into shape, but try and delve more into the emotional aspect, better yet, as you state, I won’t delve, but I will let her know I’m here for her when she is ready. Thank you once again. I will continue to follow you, and though she doesn’t know about you, somehow our energies just might connect with her. 😊

Hi Tony, Thank you for defining what a breakthrough is all about. Now I can share. You always cause me to think and be mindful of what I am eating and doing for exercise. The month of January I was away from home and eating out much of the time. Seldom exercising while focusing on caring for others. This month will be more of the same only at home and cooking in weekends.
Here’s the breakthrough.
I chose a hotel next to a planet fitness. I upgraded my membership so I can exercise at any location. Now I get my workout in everyday.
For eating out I order a soup and salad with water and have them keep the bread basket away. For the entree I get chicken or seafood with veggies. Plus I have them bring a take out box with the meal cut it in half and save it for the next days lunch.
I am really pleased that I am in control of this situation and the situation is not controlling me.