Halle Berry’s Child Support Bill: $16,000 A Month

Halle Berry was recently ordered to pay her ex Gabriel Aubry $16,000 a month in child support for their 6-year-old, which makes a lot of sense because I’ve heard you have to baste 6-year-olds with crushed up diamonds every hour or else they explode.

The agreement approved by Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon on May 30 calls for Berry to pay ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry $16,000 a month or nearly $200,000 a year to support their daughter. The Oscar-winning actress will also pay for their daughter’s tuition, but the former couple will split health care expenses.

The order also calls for Berry to pay her ex-boyfriend a retroactive payment of $115,000 and $300,000 to his attorneys to cover the costs of their custody dispute. [USA Today]

Annual salary, guy who knocked up Halle Berry, not including work: $192,000

Let this be a lesson to anyone who ever has a chance to knock up a famous person. In fact, I’m thinking of renting an open-topped limo to drive to movie premieres where I can throw cups full of my semen at people. Hey, it’s worth a shot. And yeah, that’s right, I said cups. I’ve got a big freezer.

If you wrote this story and redacted the names everyone would assume it was a man paying child support and this would be a story about an asshole who abruptly refused to pay child support after the courts ordered them too. The judge treated Halle Berry as equally as if she were a man and this is news?

This ruling REDUCED her payment. The dad was getting 20,000 a month and it got knocked down to 16,000 because she refused to pay him anything and he had to sue her.

You didn’t write an article denouncing that Russian that Mel Gibson pays 20,000 a month to. Eddie Murphy gives 50,000 a month to Scary spice who was famous herself. Fiddy Cent pays 25,000 a month.

Imagine Mel Gibson just stopped paying child support and the mother of his child had to sue him for the money she was owed according to the court. He would be crucified. I don’t know if it’s because she’s pretty or because she’s a helpless, incompetent woman but people feel bad for her that over the next 12 years less than 2% of her fortune is going to child support.