Monday, May 18, 2009

Part three in herodotus comic :)

Its funny Herodotus came up with the scene for me because the first time I ever ordered a HOOKER I was with my friend at the time FRANZ house sitting in a NEON BATH TUB in LA and I was like " This house has hooker written all over it" and of course Franz was a well seasoned hair dresser and said "Vell lets order one" and we did. We ordered CHANCE CAULDWELL. Who was the first porno gay I ever saw when I was 14 on the back of the Advocate porno section (the madonna cover one). He was advertising phone sex and on all fours with glossy lips holding a telephone receiver with the cord attached. This was pre internet. He drove in from Orange County. I said Franz should have him first, because I was nervous. So he fucked Franz while I sat in the hot tub. My only intention was to FILL HIS ASS WITH WHIPPED CREAM AND SUCK IT OUT. I mean thats what you call a hooker for right ? You cant exactly pick a guy up at a bar and be like " Oh I dont want a bj, I wanna fill your ass with whipped cream and suck it out." ..but if you do and he does MARRY HIM cause that sounds like the COOLEST DUDE EVER. Anyways... After fucking Franz he was tired and spent of course as Franz was a HORRIBLE GREEDY BOTTOM of an Austrian hairdresser so by the time he got to me he had NO INTENTION of being my personal CREAM PUFF and just sat on my face and I came in like ten seconds and that was it. Then he went to the refrigerator and ate all the guys left overs and talked about being an olympic hungarian wrestlers or some bullshit. He SUCKED. Hookers blow, theyre NEVER what they advertise as, and there never worth it in my opinion. Ive tried it three time and each time its BOMBEROONEY! Save your dough and tip a stripper, that way you know EXACTLY what your getting and theyll work for it. Most hookers I think bank on the concept that once they show up its too late and your not gonna say "No" to a hooker because youre so damn horny and they might cause a scene... There ALWAYS a SOLID 10-15 years older then they say... ALWAYS.