Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Fun with Labels: YOUR STATE HERE Crown Club

If you saw a bottle of Kentucky Crown Club whiskey on the shelf, complete with a picture of a racehorse, you probably wouldn't guess that it was Canadian blended whiskey, but lo and behold, Houston based Mexcor, Inc. has been approved for a label for just such a whiskey.

And suppose you wanted a whiskey from your native Arkansas, Florida or Colorado. Well, you're in luck, because Mexcor is planning to produce Canadian Whiskeys named for pretty much every state (though the Dakotas get just one between them).

But lest you think this is just some bulk whiskey operation cynically cashing in on state pride, the back label for Tennessee Crown Club explains that the whiskey was crafted to "reflect and highlight the rich heritage of the great state of Tennessee" and that it "embodies the treasures that the majestic state of Tennessee possesses." Similarly, the label for South Carolina Crown Club reports that it was crafted to "reflect and highlight the rich heritage of the great state of South Carolina" and that it "embodies the treasures that the majestic state
of South Carolina possesses."

Think of how much work Mexcor must have done to come up with a different whiskey that embodies the treasures of each of our majestic states. This was clearly a massive undertaking in which skilled tasters had to contemplate questions like, "Does this Canadian blend more accurately embody the treasures of the majestic state of Connecticut or does it reflect and highlight the rich heritage of the great state of Indiana?" Kudos to the great team at Mexcor that found these unique whiskeys.

Oh, and Jersyites take notice, the bottle for Jersey Crown Club makes no reference to the Garden State being either majestic or having a rich heritage. I guess even Mexcor has its limits.

18 comments:

Your comments about the Great Garden State are below the belt. We have the beautiful swamplands of the Meadowlands, with egrets and Marsh Roses among vast industrial vistas that make the greater Kearney area a favorite with producers of crime drama television shows. We have the austere Pine Barrens, whose solemn beauty is favored by producers of other crime dramas. We have the scenic beauty and compelling culture of the Jersey Shore and Atlantic City, favored by reality show producers and producers of retro crime drama shows. Might I point out that the opening credits of said retro crime drams (Boardwalk Empire) feature thousands of bottles of Canadian blended whisky bobbing in the scenic surf. If any State deserves this classy stuff it's the Garden State!

The other 49 states are late to the game - we've had "authentic" Texas Crown (complete with an oil rig on the label) for years. And natch, it's a massive seller ("it's Texan, ya'll gotta buy this. If it was foreign they'd have to say so, right?" *yes, it cleverly says product of Canadia in small print on the FRONT label, where no clever person would think to look...)

It does in fact totally pay homage to the rugged, dry, hot cowboy heritage of the state in a way that only a lame-ass rye blend from the snowy, uber polite, cold, Mountie-patrolled suburb of America (actually, that should be 'Merica) can do.

The stuff is swill, tastes better than Garrison Bros (actually made here) but far worse than TX Blended (another legendary Texas whiskey not made here) or even Red River Texas Bourbon (another fine aged Texas whiskey not made here). Rebecca creek - from the charming hill country area is quite a bit worse, even though their vodka-infused "Spirit Whiskey" (none of the spirit made in TX) is magical since they are near Enchanted Rock.

In fact, of all the whiskey actually made here, I think Balcones is the only one that is drinkable... Perhaps that's why the "Official Whiskeys of Texas" are made in Canada, Kentucky, or Indiana...

I'd expect to see far more of this as Bernheim rolls out higher yields, LDI/MGP offers more mashbills... and God help us, but the average consumer clearly doesn't understand Spirit Whiskey is akin to saying "weasel vomit" - but they buy it in hordes because... it's got their stupid state label.

I'm waiting for collegiate branded spirits - I'd absolutely kill for a bottle of Texas A&M Whiskey - based on a unique blend of Indiana and Canadian spirits at 80 proof - because nothing says "Gig 'Em" like foreign whiskey at low proof.

And they are not related to Crown Royal or Canadian Club in any way? Jeez, seems like they'd lose that one in court. Putting the state name in the title to dodge geographical designation is bad enough, but that's like naming your whiskey 'Jack Dickel' or 'Jim Daniels'.

In the spirit of fairness, Sku, you are a bit harsh. You are treating these whiskies as if they were just some regular stuff. But the label makes it VERY CLEAR that these are bottles of ULTRA PREMIUM blended whisky! And it's aged for at least 36 months - which makes it, what, at least 150 weeks old! As for the craft reflecting heritage, nobody said anything about the liquid itself; it's about the picture on the bottle. Mt Rushmore for Dakotas - now that was a strike of genius, who would come up with something like this? I bet that for Texas it's going to be either an oil rig, or George W.

If Makers made an A&M bottle I missed it... They make a Cowboys one, but I don't know if they've done college themes outside of KY.

Here's the copy for Texas Crown (Canadian Whisky): For True Cowboys and Cowgirls and comes in a Lone Star themed velvet bag:

Texas Crown Club Whisky was created for true cowboys and cowgirls, legends and oil history. From the crown of their western hat, down to the tips of their needle-nosed boots, cowboys deserve a Great Shot!

Texas Crown Club Whisky is a multi-grain spirit made from a distilled blend of wheat, rye and barley. It is aged for at least 4-6 years in oak barrels.

Canadian Whisky was first produced in the late 1700s, and continues to please whisky aficionados around the world with its light smooth taste.

Not only your article, but all the responses to it so far are equally hilarious, especially Joshua Feldman, Florin, and TimD.

I wish there were something good I could add to this, but I'm just speechless that Mexcor (a Texas company, BTW) is able to pull something like this off. What's next? Oh, all right... we DO have a particular style of chili that "reflects and highlights the rich heritage of the great city of Cincinnati", and I can understand a certain degree of distain by Texans (and others; many others) who do not consider cinnamon and cocoa (not to mention spaghetti), and a lack of hot peppers, as components of "true chili". But at least it's made in the Yew Ess Aye (you don't get much more USA than the city of John Boener, now do, you?), and it tastes good. But it's called Cincinnati Chili, not Texas Chili. God help us if Mexcor gets hold of it!

Thanks, Sku, for letting that nasty word get through (and apologies to SOME Texans and any children under age twelve who may be reading this blog by mistake or otherwise)...I've heard, btw, that Cincinnati is the home of the original non-Texan style of chili.

Point taken! I will rewrite all of the back labels using some of the commentary on this blog. Filing Jersey on Monday with TTB. Since Kentucky is so close to Cinci I will use the "not-quite-chili" Chili and the history of skyline for that label.

Scoff, scoff, scoff, all so very clever. But two years later 7.18.15, Costa Mesa is closing this out at $8.99 750ml, $15.99 1.75l; if available with the state flag pattern bag pictured on Net, the flip factor on this item three years hence will tinge that chortle with regret your 401(K) isn't chockablock with the stuff.

I am not for sure who wrote this, but they are wrong about the Dakotas. There is a South Dakota and North Dakota one not that it matters it's Canadian Whisky. In my opinion most Canadian Whiskies can't stand alone, so aren't really an option for real whisky drinkers. I hear it's all Canadian Club.