A secret fraternal guide for masturbation dating back to ancient mesopotamia. Set forth by one of the first branches of warring tribes composed almost entirely of ten-year old children who were taught by intoxicated shaman that self-image was more important than education. They became the first nation of Nintendous, on the Island of Contraceptive.

Sometimes, before we went on a date, we would up up down down left right left right B A start.