The 2010 Winter Television Season: Sunday

Everyone thinks that the fall is the best season for television: that’s when networks make a big whoop-de-doo about all their shiny new shows and when cliffhangers from the previous season are resolved in generally unsatisfactory ways. But those of us who are professional teevee viewers know the big secret: television doesn’t actually get serious until sometime in January. You have to wait until the beginning of the year for your American Idol, your Lost, Big Love, 24. And the wait is well worth it.

So now that the wait is over, what will you be watching this winter?

Yes, the Winter Television Guide has, indeed, been previously published in its entirety in Tubular. But to make it a little more digestible, I thought we could break it down day by day, and discuss exactly what our DVRs will be recording this winter.

Jeffrey R Staab/CBS

“And over there is where we put all the chicken ring holes.”

Sunday has always been a strong night for television — I wonder why that is? I guess when 60 Minutes was consistently the highest rated television show year after year after year, the networks realized O HEY! People watch television on Sundays! What if we put good shows on that night? You think they might watch? As a result, Sunday is one of the best nights of television, with programs like The Simpsons, The Amazing Race, Desperate Housewives, Big Love and The Tudors. But I’m not going to include Family Guy in this list, because, man, I hate Family Guy.

R.I.P., Roman. Even if you did get what was coming to you. Season Four of Big Love finds Bill starting the Church of Bill, Nicki with a teenaged daughter in tow, Alby acting on his urges, Sissy Spacek as a powerful DC lobbyist, big changes in Sarah’s life and the series pulling a Darrin on Bewitched with Tancy. (Oh, just go with it.) We may miss Roman (and we do, we miss him terribly), but this season is shaping up to more than make up for his absence. Can. Not. Wait.

It’s a simple concept: a reality program in which the CEO’s of large corporations go “undercover” to do the work of their employees on the ground. CBS has such confidence in this series that they’ve chosen this rather than CSI: Kansas City or Survivor: Legoland to air after the Super Bowl. And, I gotta tell you, I’d be lying if I told you that the clip above didn’t make me a little misty. But then again, I’m a huge softie, so, you know.

So, yeah, the clip above isn’t great. FOX apparently isn’t quite ready to start promoting this quirky family comedy from the producer of Wonderfalls and Malcolm in the Middle, and the director of perhaps one of my favorite episodes of 30 Rock. But from what I can gather, three brothers who have lost their father to prison ask Sock from Reaper (who plays Sock from Reaper but with a different name) to act as their father so as to avoid being split up and sent to foster homes. Hilarity and warm moments of familial love ensue, I’m certain. I suspect that if you didn’t like A. Malcolm in the Middle or B. Sock, this might not be your cup of tea. But as I liked both of those things, I will be giving this little series a chance.

I have an irrational love/hate thing with Jerry Seinfeld. I loved Seinfeld, LOVED LOVED him on Curb Your Enthusiasm this season, and yet, I can’t stand him when he’s not acting. I hate his stand-up comedy, and I’m still a little traumatized by Bee Movie, which was one of the bigger wastes of 90 minutes of my life. And so in regards to his new pet project, a series wherein bickering couples have a “marriage ref” review their dispute and pick a winner, my initial response is NO. NO THANKS. But who can say? If you dig watching other couples argue — and who doesn’t? — this might be a great show. As for me, I think I’d rather just go pick a fight with Mr. T.

You know how this goes down: Donald Trump collects a bunch of C-list celebrities, and then makes them do embarrassing things for his amusement. For some reason they’re doing it all over again, this time with Darryl Strawberry, Rod Blagojevich, Sinbad, Cyndi Lauper, Sharon Osbourne, Bret Michaels, Holly Robinson Peete, Carol Leifer, Bill Goldberg, Maria Kanellis, Curtis Stone and Summer Sanders. My money is on Sharon Osbourne being this season’s Joan Rivers. And, no, I have no idea who Curtis Stone is either.

This is the last season of Sexytimes with King Henry the FifthThe Tudors, and heads will roll. (Of course, that could be said of all the seasons.) SPOILER ALERT! That little hussy Catherine Howard won’t make it through the season, and King Henry will get married again, this time to Joely Richardson, who, after having been involved with Christian Troy and Sean McNamara for all those years figured she couldn’t do worse, even with a guy who has a nasty habit of beheading his wives.