Month: January 2017

What if your wife told you she was leaving you in a letter
Would you remember back all of the times you could have done better?
What if she said it was because of the children
Would you question whether she was still the woman you believed in?
What if she told you that she felt like a single parent, because even though you were actually there, your presence was never apparent.
Would you ask your God why he had not made her barren?
What if she told you that she has found an intellectual breakthrough
and that she wanted to introduce you
But you rejected it like VooDoo.
Would you consider for a moment what you would do if she were no longer with you?
What if she was tired enough to contemplate suicide?
Would you tell her to suppress it on the account of your pride.
What if she said she needed to get away
Would you get angry at her and make her feel so bad that she’d stay?
What if she just wanted to grab our attention
Would you give her a glance, a smile, a mention?
What if she needed you to shield her from herself
Would you make her feel as if she were your world, above all else?
What if her smile hid tears and her laughter hid fears
Would you notice, did you care.
There is alot going on in the mind of a woman
and yet we stand firm to protect our man.
I understand that it is hard for you but what about me? Would you do what I do?
See, my attitude is embedded from birth, I inherited from my mother; the earth.
Though I rise from the dust, you kick me like dirt but i continue on in stride, as if it doesn’t hurt.
I put in my work, with overtime.
Thats why whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine.
I have earned my place. And I will no be disgraced.
I offer you more than a pretty face.
I offered you me.
From the knowledge in my mind to the plumpness of my behind.
From the melanin in my skin to the God that lives within.
I offered you me.

I decided to start eating better and it all went downhill from there. Well not for me but for some people who know me.

Hello. My name is Maisha Rush and I am a recovering Christian.

I would oftentimes look in the mirror and didn’t really care for what looked back. I was told I was pretty so I went with it and kept going. My body, ugh, I will not even start on my harsh opinions of what I thought my body should look like. Anyhow, that’s a story for another day.

Even being branded with the medical standard of being overweight, I would start a new fad diet and fall off. sometimes, I would make a conscience decision to just eat correctly and exercise.. That wouldn’t last long either with babies running around and trying to maintain home and my business so, alas, I would find myself working late into the midnight hours snacking on a sandwich after not eating one single thing all day. And in case you did not know, that is a no-no.

So I finally got up the nerve to do it, after much research and questioning, I went Vegan. But not only Vegan; Alkaline Vegan. Though very strict indeed, I will not turn back. I have found it very comforting and exhilarating to know that I am finally doing something beneficial for myself that doesn’t concern anyone else. Its for me. That may not seem like a big issue to some of you but for me, being a mom of nine, running a business, and being a wife, along wirh homeschooling, finding something just for you is a feat that is damn near impossible. What a great accomplishment. I even brought the family along with adjustments. They eat what I eat as a side (so I am not cooking two meals), and every other day they have to eat entirely vegan for dinner. Luckily, they dodn’t really care as long as I am cooking. I found an awesome community on FaceBook called Alkaline Vegan Girls for support and Ty’s Conscious Kitchen on YouTube for recipes. It is going very well.

Now, The problem.

I have found that when you are nourishing your body with, shall I say, Earth foods, there is a sense of connection or awakening that is unexpectedly involved. I didn’t really notice it off hand but it almost seems as though By eating the way God intended, I was becoming closer to him. Now I have been a very devout Christian for all of my life and I already considered myself to have a very close and personal relationship with The God of my understanding but something shifted. In addition to knowing Him, I started to feel connected to him so naturally I wanted to read and fast and pray more. Well that started not to be enough and I found myself STUDYING the Word more and meditating. I began to sit under the moon at night and the sun in the daytime. For anyone who knows me I do not like direct sun, never have. But this, this was different.

As I read the bible, the same one I have studied and taught from for years, quoting scriptures and ministering to people, suddenly, it wasn’t quite right. The stories left many holes and inconsistencies. The church I attended, I started to see so many flaws that I blindly ignored. I was afraid. I was very afraid. What did this mean? Was the devil taking over? Was I becoming like Judas? I cried and I prayed and then I realized, why not ask God. Fear pumped over me, ‘Ask God?’ Are you crazy? You do not question God. He is the creator of all! But then as I meditated and fasted I began to wonder, ‘why not ask God’? It is Him I seek. It is Him I wish to know more about so why NOT ask him. Such a stupid thing to teach people not to question God. And I fell for it all my life, hook, line, and sinker. The Bible says to Seek Him, Draw near to him, Be ONE with Him, and to seek wisdom and knowledge but how can I do any of these things if I do not have a relationship with Him. How can I do these things if I do not understand? What is the best way to understand Him and have a relationship with Him; its to talk to Him, have a conversation with Him. How can I possibly have a conversation with Him if I can never ask Him a question? He is my Father, I ask my natural father questions all the time, that is how I gain knowledge and wisdom coupled together to get understanding.

No preacher can tell me my path, my path is my own. The preacher can give me scripture that has helped him in his journey, but his journey is not mine. The bible says to study and show thyself approved but many of us go to church and listen to the sermon and go home. What is that? That is not pleasing to God. It is not edifying to anyone but the building.

I recently posted some questions on Facebook and oh boy. I was called everything from a false prophet to the Anti Christ because I chose to challenge what is truth. My questions were not off the wall, but everyday questions that we not only should ask but that we have all been thinking however have been condemned to thinking that interpreting the word for ourselves is in itself a sin. People said I was angry but I was happy the entire time I was having dialogue. I was happy to finally get it off of my chest. I finally felt free from bondage and closer to my God of understanding. He wants you to follow your path because its yours. No one can walk it but you and only you will be held accountable

Now I feel free to sit and take in the glory of the day. I eat what is edifying to my natural body that was placed on this earth for me to do and because of this very small, what I consider virtuous change, I am doing exactly what I should be doing for myself, seeking the truth.

While some have unfriended me and many may never speak to me again, I am okay with that. I have found what has always said to exist yet have not ever found; Heaven on earth.