Survivor

Last night’s Survivor gave us a peek into a changing, slightly crazier Coach, who we are sure to see more of in upcoming episodes. The duel pitted friend against friend, and the immunity challenge was just a whole lot of gross, gagging nastiness.

Stacey joins her biffle Christine on Redemption Island. Stacey relays to Christine all the lying and drama that has been going on with the Upolu. She tells Christine that Coach is the ring-leader (and the pot stirrer), and that all the people in the blue tribe are heading to hell wearing gasoline drawers. If Stacey ever gets tired of being a mortician, she can take her one-liners on the road.

Last night’s Survivor was very cut-throat. As usual, Brandon does a lot of repenting, Dawn does a little ass kicking to win immunity for her tribe, and Cochran and Marijuana Jim devise a plan to disrupt Team Pretty. I am loving Savaii this season. Is it just me, or is the Upolu just a bunch of Shady McShadersons?

The episode begins with Ozzy and Elyse getting cozy on a hammock. Marijuana Jim is getting jealous nervous that their bond may be tighter than his is with Ozzy. He’s worried Ozzy is morphing into Rob Mariano. MJ quickly realizes that Elyse has to go before they become a power couple. Has someone been smoking dope watching Bachelor Pad? Marijuana Jim finds a quick ally in Cochran, as it buys him more time to prove himself.

Over at Upolu, Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants is apologizing to Mikayla for gravitating towards untruth. He next approaches Edna to repent for his lying and to casually mention that Edna is not a member of the main alliance like she thought she was. I couldn’t tell if it was a strategic move on Brandon’s part or inadvertent slip-up. You never can tell with that sneaky BHCP.

Last night’s Survivor: South Pacific began with Christine joining Semhar on Redemption Island. She’s down, but not out, and both women are confident about their potential second chance after the duel.

At Upolu, Mikayla tells Coach she was blindsided by Brandon, and guess who just happens to interrupt their conversation? Why it’s mini-Russell Hantz himself! I assume that he is going to apologize to Mikayla for his lies, but instead he opts for a side hug from Coach. Brandon never planned to come on the show and play the game like his uncle. He wanted to be a hero not a villain. Oops!

The Upolu tribe receives two invitations to attend the duel. Coach requests to go, and Stacey wants to join him. Ozzy and Elyse are the witnesses from tribe Savaii. During her week on Redemption Island, Semhar has found time to braid her hair. I almost didn’t recognize her. Right away, Christine tells Jeff Probst she was voted off the main island because of Coach’s disdain for her (true) after she called him a temporary player.

Last night’s Survivor: South Pacific had the blue Upolus scheming, leading each of them to wonder which tribe mates they should trust, while the red Savaiis welcomed Cochran…but for how long?

Semhar is the first castaway sent to Redemption Island and is overly emotional as she awaits the arrival of the next cast off from the main island. Fear not, she chooses to combat her feelings of negativity by channeling her inner Maya Angelou.

On the main island, at the Savaii camp, Cochran is thanking his lucky stars he didn’t get his torch snuffed and is thanking his teammates. He promises he’ll prove them he’s a worthy ally. Ozzy identifies with his passion but needs to see some getupandgo from the little guy. Keith is finally getting some air time, both befriending and questioning Ozzy.

Day four at the Upolu has Coach telling Edna he feels like he started on the outside. He asks Edna who has the immunity idol. As there has been no obvious digging, she is concerned it’s already been found. Edna is worried that she may be the first voted out of her tribe, so she strategically aligns herself with the pro.

Last night the ninety minute premiere of Survivor: South Pacific aired on CBS. Two former Survivor staples and two-time previous game players Ozzy Lusth and Coach Wade are back to square off with the newbie castaways on an episode aptly titled “I Need Redemption.”

Right off the bat, we meet John “Cochran” Cochran who has watched every season of the show, and even wrote a prize winning paper on it while in law school at Harvard. Native American Elyse isn’t much into the outdoors, but she’s hoping her heritage will work to her advantage, and then there’s Rick a rancher from the Midwest. Stacey is a funeral director and mortician who promises to be nosy and while pretending to play nice. Russell Hantz’s (a former Survivor with multiple games under his belt) nephew Brandon likens himself to Hitler’s nephew and vows to change the perception of his family’s name. Maybe not the most accurate of comparisons, but he doesn’t want his fellow castaways to know that he shares the blood of a Survivor competitor who wouldn’t have won any popularity contests.

Think you could survive another season of competition and deprivation in the wild? CBS hopes so! Survivor: South Pacific is returning for its 23rd season!

The drama begins in Samoa, as the 18 castaways are divided into two teams, the Savaii Tribe and the Upolu Tribe, both named for Samoan islands. The cast will include 16 Survivor novices and two former castaways back for revenge, another chance at famewhoring, and a million dollars.

This isn’t the first time CBS has employed this trick, as Season 21, Redemption Island mixed in two experts with the pack of amateurs castaways. Even though several of the cast members are first timers on Survivor, many have “experience” with reality tv – and you know what that means: they know how to cause D-R-A-M-A!

CBS has released the names of the 16 newbies this week and plans to release the names of the final 2 contestants later in the week. No ideas yet of who it could be! I’m hoping for Richard Hatch, if he’s not back in prison! Also one of the new contestants, 19-year-old Brandon Hance, is actually the nephew of villain Russell Hantz!

Borrowing another twist from Redemption Island, the eliminated castaways aren’t immediately vanquished, but instead go to “Redemption Island” (the place, not the season) where he or she will face off against the next person eliminated by Tribal Council. The loser of the duel will then be sent home, while the winner remains in the game until the next person voted off arrives, where the cycle begins anew until ONE eliminatee, referred to as the Sole Survivor, is left standing. The Sole Survivor will then return to the game to compete for the million dollars. I guess, no one is truly safe in this edition!

The 90 minute season premiere airs Sept. 14 8/9c on CBS. The cast bios and photos for the 16 new contestants are below!

UPDATE – Ben “Coach” Wade and Oscar “Ozzy” Lusth are rumored to be the two returning cast members.

The game began with the final and very anti-climatic Redemption Island challenge. Playing for an opportunity to be voted off again by Rob Mariano were his zombies Andrea, Matt, and Grant alongside Mike. Andrea made it very clear going into the game that she was the “under under dog” so of course the challenge was one that was geared for her she was able to win. It was a challenge which required balance, and after Grant, Matt, and Mike lost balance in that order, Andrea won her shot back into the game.

While it seemed like the perfect opportunity for Rob’s groupies Ashley and Natalie to team up with Andrea and vote off Rob one of the men, they simply failed to use their brains as Rob was able to convince them, quite easily, to vote off Andrea. Rob was so confident in his mind control over his cult members that he even contemplated not playing his idol. Ultimately he did though he didn’t need to as the others voted off Andrea.

The next to last episode of this season’s Survivor: Redemption Island begins with Ashley relishing in the blindside the Ometepe served fellow tribe member Andrea. Meanwhile, once the newest cast-off arrives on Redemption Island, Andrea somehow tries to gain sympathy for her recent betrayal while blaming Matt for her decision to vote against him. Needless to say, Andrea is getting zero love from the folks she has sent to Redemption Island before her.

The duel among the Redemption Island crew involves navigating a handle through a long maze of tiles (similar to a Cracker Barrel game, if I recall) and then completing a puzzle at the end. Ralph starts off strong and is the first to finish the maze. GO RALPH! Andrea is so far behind on the maze, mumbling and grumbling the entire time. Much like with past duels, Mike wins, with Matt a close second. Fortunately for Andrea (and unfortunately for me), Ralph can’t get the puzzle together and is sent to the jury.