I Really Luh You (Lip Surgery, p.2)

Lip surgery is the worst. It’s the worst because lips are attached to mouths and mouths are how we consume food. I love eating, and recently having lip surgery has made eating very difficult. On a related note, whenever I told people that my last lip surgery caused me to lose ten pounds (part one of the mucocele fiasco detailed here), I’d always get the same response: “Ten pounds? Well I wish that could happen to me!” If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, well, the amount of tapioca pudding I could buy! Also, as I write this I’m waiting for Leah to return home with some tapioca pudding, and boy are my remaining salivary glands salivating.

The second mucocele that appeared was on the left side of my lip. It’s much smaller than the one I got back in August on the right side, and the oral surgeon assures me that the only cause of backed up salivary glands is physical damage. So it seems while my lip was numb from the previous surgery I probably bit it, or even chewed on it, without being aware. Also, the surgeon told me that I have the most salivary glands he’s ever seen. Again I tried the “Aww, I bet you tell that to all your patients!” But this was directly after surgery so I could only mumble it, and thus my joke remains unheard to this day (glad I could share it here).

All numbed up and ready to go again!

Having a lot of salivary glands means I’m probably a little more susceptible to mouth injuries than the average person. Fingers crossed on no more surgery, though this time around involved less stitches and a whole lot less pain. They did have to do a little cauterizing, which smelled badly, though was painless. I’m still so swollen that talking is difficult, but the sharpest pain I’ve experienced actually occurred today, three days post-operation, when I managed to cut my hand on the microwave. It would make more sense if I cut my hand on the can opener or on a soup can edge. Instead, it was the blunt microwave door, and I really have no idea how it happened.

Not pictured: all of the home-made pudding

Before Leah went back to work she made me a stockpile of deliciousness. We recently had a mash of cauliflower and turnips (“They’re actually parsnips” –Leah) and I loved it. Other foods I’ve been eating include applesauce, yogurt, lots of eggs, Jell-O, and shredded cheese. After my first round of lip surgery I spilled everything I ate or drank. Upon getting home from surgery this time, I got out water and sipped it as I read online news articles. After I finished, I thought, “I’m so much better this time—no mess at all!” But then I looked down and there was a big puddle of water on the desk and laptop. Leah’s been picking up tissues I’ve left everywhere, too.

These pre-made mashes are pretty good, too

So maybe I haven’t recovered perfectly yet, but again, things are good, even if it is back to saying “I luh you” to Leah for a while. That’s also become a kind of cute phrase in our apartment. Growing up, it was always “soda kak” for “cul-de-sac” in our house, due to how my little cousin said the word, or “Merry Nimpus” for “Merry Christmas” or “fruit flies” for “French fries.” Except Leah and I’s first “cute” family phrase is not due to a small child’s mispronunciation, but rather to dumb Jeff continually catching the inside of his mouth on his teeth. Oh well, such, I guess, is life.

–Jeff and Leah

I used Leah’s t-shirt to tie the ice pack to my face — worked like a charm!