But no…every time I open my inbox, I’m greeted with more “what the fuck is going on?” moments from the Land of the Rising Sun. The latest is a band called Babymetal that is, in fact, made up of babies who sing metal. Well, OK, they’re not babies; I think the oldest one is like 14 or something. But the point is, they’re sweet little Japanese schoolgirls who should probably not be allowed to watch any Dir En Grey videos for at least another four years…and yet, they kinda sound like Dir En Grey. Japan strikes again!

Apparently Babymetal is the metal-themed spinoff of another kiddie J-pop group called Sakura Gakuin. They call their music “kawaii metal,” which sounds like metal for surfers but actually translates to “cute metal,” which actually sums this stuff up pretty well. There are definite elements of pop and EDM and even the occasional hip-hop and dubstep…but it all comes back to the double kick drums and drop-D guitar riffs, which are played by a scary-looking masked backing band while the girls dance around in their Hot Topic finery. Never before has the devil’s music been this adorable.

Do I even need to tell you that this shit is huge in Japan? Here’s a link (embedding disabled…fuckers) to a video of them playing a song called “Headbanger!!” for approximately one zillion people at the Inazuma Rock Festival this past September. I believe this is part of a DVD they released last month called Babymetal Apocalypse, which I guess if you’re a metal purist is probably the most accurately named concert DVD of all time. Personally I can’t get enough of this shit, though. It’s like watching a Metallica show inside a Hello Kitty store.

I’ll leave you with one last video because it’s awesome. Spoiler alert: Her microphone houses a tiny samurai sword. In your face, Marilyn Manson!

Babymetal suck by the way I don,t know why you heard there music for why because suzuka nakamoto she fucking wierd even her sister is fucking wierd too all I am saying is that suzuka all friends and all family should die rot in hell cuz I hate babymetal they are annoying band in the whole world

Japan’s manufactured idol pop is getting more and more extreme lately, which is only a good thing. If you think that BABYMETAL is an especially weird group, try the cutie harsh noise idols BiS Kaidan, whose live performances see them throwing pigs’ heads, tampons, soured milk and chicken feet at the crowds, all while looking lovely in some blood-spattered sailor suits.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2TXLuhUaRY

I wouldn’t say so, I find their versions of “primal.”, “eat it”, and the noise collage “BiS_kaidan” to be some of the finest tracks in idol music. I mean, BABYMETAL are good too, but they have been quite firmly out-metalled by BiS anyway: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rehz5z0uuWA‎

adding a little bit of pop into metal doesn’t stop it from being metal and seriously the vocals are definately worse and if there’s one thing that’s not metal it’s judging a bands sound beacause of the vocals… hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng!