Reality Beach Issue #3

Goat heads deserve the utmost attention. Failure to pay attention results in the unkind payment of a lot of bones according to Michael Sikkema. Box sets achieve economies of scale via all those hidden extras add to buying power. White helicopters are the angels and black helicopters are the demons. The death of a person results in free gas that is all thanks to America’s oil industry who could not be more patriotic about the pain and suffering of life. Such things make a person stronger they say from weather balloons to avoid the vast maggot squads sent out to hunt the rich. Country music tries to calm the crowds but after a certain point there is no protection.

August Smith announces a new winner. Winning brings people together. It procures friendships. Everything works to deliver a wonderful new chapter in the story. Languages are formed to fully implement the inevitably of the victorious future under the winner. To win is everything. To lose is to be nothing.

Pine saps worry too much. That is what makes them saps. Dana Whtvr gets the maple syrup from such suckers. Ravens know which trees have sap they have been busy standing on branches for generations. Centrifuges tear people asunder but people tend to like it, knowing it is all for science. Bodies have multiple ages it is an organ thing. Fingernails represent the death of organs which is why people cut them. Without cutting a nail finger or otherwise, the nail grows in its death. Sourdough understands death well for it is the most existential of breads contemplating its plated death. Acrid oils can improve longevity which is why people work so tirelessly to create such compelling coffees, the kind that touch souls. Starbucks gift cards are an acceptable form of currency now. Coworkers give them to each other over the holidays. They know everybody loves them. Binge and cleanse are what modernity is about. Moderation is for another time and place. Right in the midst of the workweek there are desires that cannot be met. Syrupy teeth bladders strained it is such a glorious mess.

Unfortunately this brings Reality Beach Issue #3 to its timely conclusion. Every issue of Reality Beach grows larger, more powerful, unlike the coastlines of the world which decrease every year thanks to the power of global warming. One day Reality Beach shall find an answer for that and the other problems of the world. Until then there is this pure and simple.