My Review

Reviews

Great picture and analogy. One of those where I'm thinking 'God why didn't I think of that!!!!' I like the strict meter, though personally I'm no fan of "t'wixt" and "whate'er" type words.

Gosh, I can't get over it. Such as wonderful platform, and well done for returning to it as the final line each time. The only other 'carousel' writing I can think of is the old Hollies song from the 1960s, and that wasn't nearly as lyrically interesting as this.

Nice work!

Posted 7 Months Ago

Rating /100

7 Months Ago

Thank you so much!! Glad you enjoyed it. This is an oldie of mine, and "'twixt" and "whate'er" were .. read moreThank you so much!! Glad you enjoyed it. This is an oldie of mine, and "'twixt" and "whate'er" were very common in my writing during that phase....and in a way they still are now, but I use them sparingly.

7 Months Ago

It's fine; no worries. Meanwhile I'm racking my brains to think what other fairground attraction cou.. read moreIt's fine; no worries. Meanwhile I'm racking my brains to think what other fairground attraction could I use, now that you've so well used this one!!

7 Months Ago

Ferris wheel?

7 Months Ago

OK. Not quite a Ferris Wheel, strictly, but same principle!

A life is like the London.. read moreOK. Not quite a Ferris Wheel, strictly, but same principle!

A life is like the London Eye
That slow revolves around
With vistas changing as we fly
Above fair London town

As children our horizons stand
Quite limited and near
The world outside is local and
The future quite unclear

With fond adieu to nursery rhymes
We see a little more
We yearn for sweet adventure times
And doing so much more

Our teenage years both trapped and free
Though we are taller now
We sense there’s more ahead to see
And greater fields to plough

And 20s through to 50s peak
A long awaited star
The world is all around to seek
Our vision yet so far

The world starts closing door by door
As we no longer climb
Our vision looking backwards for
It’s now another’s time

We see a little nearer still
Each turning of the dial
We’ve nearly done and had our fill
And leaving in a while

7 Months Ago

I was partly joking when I suggested that, for you kind of made a comment of racking your brains for.. read moreI was partly joking when I suggested that, for you kind of made a comment of racking your brains for another fair attraction.....but this poem is good for what it is, and how you've structured it!! I haven't been on the London Eye, so I can't quite comment on the experience, but this does deliver on some good imagery and flow (and rhymes).

7 Months Ago

I was semi-joking, semi in earnest. I may try the London Eye again. I think I did it a bit quickly a.. read moreI was semi-joking, semi in earnest. I may try the London Eye again. I think I did it a bit quickly and it doesn't especially 'zing' but I do like the concept of reflecting a rotation of the wheel as the stages of life, and may return to it later. Thanks again for your work that prompted it!

7 Months Ago

If you do come to London, I'd certainly recommend going on the Eye, and I'd especially advise twilig.. read moreIf you do come to London, I'd certainly recommend going on the Eye, and I'd especially advise twilight as the best time of day.

7 Months Ago

....I've been to London.....went to visit a friend a couple of years back....he says it wasn't worth.. read more....I've been to London.....went to visit a friend a couple of years back....he says it wasn't worth it, just the CN Tower here isn't worth it (too expensive for what it shows)....but the twilight part would seem a little too romantic for my present circumstances if I were to go back and experience it in the near future......would want to pair up first :p

The reason I like your poetry so much (if I have not said it already) is the rhyme scheme. You know just where and how to place things. Your imagery takes the reader away from where he/she is. Quite amazing!

Posted 7 Months Ago

Rating /100

7 Months Ago

Well, I've had about 10 years experience, so my ear has properly tuned to hearing where the sounds h.. read moreWell, I've had about 10 years experience, so my ear has properly tuned to hearing where the sounds hit the most powerful notes. Thank you so much for reading. I'm glad you enjoy my work.

I don't think I've ever seen someone compare life to a carousel on here, but I'm surprised that I haven't because it is a very good comparison. There are ups and downs, but we keep striding on. I loved this.

~Luna

Posted 7 Months Ago

Rating /100

7 Months Ago

I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!

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