Things I’ve Had To Teach Myself About Being Confident In My Own Skin

Have you ever compared yourself to someone else? Maybe you don’t feel as successful, as slim or as best dressed?

I hear you, I’ve been there too. In a world where editing photographs or checking in at the newest restaurant opening in the #OOTD is considered normal, what isn’t is the increasing pressure on what we eat, where we go and what we wear. This can all potentially lead to a fake life or a demand to keep up with the Jones’ which is where individuality can evaporate.

Photo Cred: Alexandra Gorn

Experiences shape us as we grow and learn from them, as each year passes we become wiser and ripen those goals and dreams. Being in control of our lives, making the right decisions and doing what makes us happy is important.

Growing up I always felt a little different. In earlier posts, I’ve mentioned my father is Chinese and my birth name is different from the rest of the family. I was ashamed of having a Chinese name on my birth certificate and for the first time publicly I’m happy and proud to share that it is Nee. The less happy memories stem from being mocked as a youngster as people pointed to their knees asking me to answer what that was. At the time I felt embarrassed, I didn’t want to be associated with the name however as I have matured and thanks to living in Singapore I have never been more proud and determined to celebrate my heritage.

In a world which almost feels we are participating in one giant competition, it’s important to stay still and remember to stay true to who we are, do what makes us happy to live our lives to the max.

Photo Cred: Seth Doyle / Unsplash

My Learnings On Being Confident In My Own Skin:

Look after your body

Eating the right things and having the right amount of exercise helps clear the cobwebs, reduce stress and keep those nasty illnesses at bay.

Have a healthy mind

Being grateful for what we currently have generates positive and happy feelings. Constantly chasing for the next thing to buy and complaining about the things we don’t have only leads to more of the same thing. I also learned how to meditate which has provided much inner peace and the ability to be present, I highly recommend it if it isn’t already part of your daily routine.

Create a life you love living

Make a list of what makes you happy and do them. No matter how small it may be whether it be to have a bubble bath, make a cup of tea or going out for dinner (even if you want to blog about it afterward!) just do it. Life is meant to be abundant, we should be doing the things which make us feel good. Fill your life with as much as you can, you only have one of them.

Stop comparing yourself on social media

No-one’s life is perfect. It’s no secret that most photos are edited and often cherry picked but focusing on what you see through your lens is what is important here. Wear the clothes you like, which suit your figure, which makes you feel gorgeous and confident. Look in the mirror and instead of focusing on the things you don’t like try looking at the things you do like about yourself. Remember that you are you, your own person and are goddam awesome.

Stop seeking validation from others

Happiness comes from within. I live and breathe by The Secret which teaches you that nobody else controls your joy or your happiness but you. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important, approval does not come from anyone else. There will always be people that try to put you down but that says more about them than it does about you so try to let it go. A close friend of mine once said, “Who the hell have you allowed a space in your life who doesn’t make you feel anything other than f*kg awesome?” It taught me to respect myself, to only allow people around me who encourage, support and lift me up.

Taking time out for you

There is a perception that doing things just for you or taking time out just for you is being selfish. But why and selfish according to who? Recharging and rejuvenation are vital for a healthy life. If you need to take time out just for you it’s important you do it, it refers back to my earlier point on not seeking approval from others. This is your life, nobody is in control of that but you.

Being kind to others

The way you treat others is the way you expect others to treat you. Being genuine, authentic and kind to others only generates one feeling, happiness. There’s no point being bitter or angry, having inner peace and a calm mindset leads to an elated life.

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

Have you struggled in being confident in your own skin? Can you share any other tips which may be useful? I would love to hear them!

N x

So hey you, yes you…I want to thank you for reading my post. Whether you’ve stuck around since the beginning of my journey or whether you’re new to my blog, thank you for reading and supporting. I genuinely appreciate it.

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About me

Hi, I’m Nicci – writer and founder of niccimcshane.com. My lifestyle blog journey began as an expat in 2016 looking for methods of self improvement through confidence, inner peace and independence. Follow me as I continue to share experiences on how to love ourselves and to not just exist, but live.

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