Marcia Clark, the head prosecutor in the O.J, Simpson murder trial, watched the first episode of The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Storyon Tuesday night, and described it as an “out of body experience.” For her, the 10-part series isn’t entertainment, but rather a painful reminder of a very difficult time.

“The whole experience of that trial was a nightmare. It tore me up,” Marcia Clark said in an interview with Entertainment Weekly after the FX miniseries premiered. “I can’t tell you. I watched justice get thwarted from almost day one.”

O.J. Simpson, who was accused of the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman, was found not guilty. Marcia Clark wasn’t looking forward to reliving the moment that verdict came down.

“It felt pretty awful, not because of anything the series might have done, just reinvoking all of the memories of it,” she said. “What got me through it was being able to watch Sarah’s performance.”

Sarah Paulson plays the role of Marcia Clark in the miniseries.

“I’ve been a fan of hers for years. I just love her,” Clark said.

“She was even more wonderful in person,” she added.

Marcia Clark got to meet Sarah Paulson and have dinner with her shortly before filming of The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story wrapped.

Despite that meeting, she still hoped the show would never wind up on the air.

“I kept hoping and praying, ‘Please, please don’t let this happen. Make something go wrong. Make someone think this isn’t a good idea,’” she said.

Despite the fervent prayers Marcia Clark said, The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story premiered on Tuesday night, with nine episodes remaining.

Marcia Clark watched episode one with a group of friends. They were no doubt there for moral support.