Ugh, it’s been awhile again since I last posted. I realized yesterday that for the first time in about 6 1/2 months, I feel like I can finally take a breath and not worry that I’m heading in to another health crisis. I can definitely say that being in crisis mode and dealing with hyper-awareness physically hasn’t been good for adrenal fatigue and just over all stress levels.

My body is now in management mode, meaning I’m doing my best to listen to my body and let myself rest when I need to. I’ve added something to my supplements that I think is actually helping me wean off my anti-depressant. THAT IS NOT TO SAY I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD WEAN OFF THEIR ANTI-DEPRESSANTS! I have been on Zoloft for the past year and half, and I am actually feeling decent now. I’m curious to see if I can wean off of it, but trust me when I say if things start going downhill, I’m going right back to taking it. I guess this is testament to how much work I’ve done the past year. The fact that I feel stable enough to start decreasing my anti-depressant is HUGE.

But talking about depression and anxiety isn’t the reason for the post. I wanted to share some of the favorite things I’ve discovered AND eaten the past few weeks. I am still 100% on board with Keto WOE (way of eating) and in fact I am feeling better with my IBS and overall energy. I have found some of my go-to recipes and my new favorite drink. I used to do a glass of cold brew coffee every day with some dairy free creamer, but I don’t think my body responds very well to caffeine like that. So instead of coffee, I’ve switched to making my own version of Starbuck’s Pink Drink! And boy oh boy, is it yummy! Super easy to make, and I’ve honestly found that Torani Sugar-Free Vanilla syrup is actually really palatable. All I use in my drink is a cup or cup and a half of Tazo Passion Tea, a tablespoon or two of Heavy Whipping Cream, and a tablespoon or two of Vanilla syrup.

Honestly, I was a bit thrown off by using sugar substitutes with keto especially since I hate the after taste of almost every other sugar free substitute I’ve ever tried. Then I found out about Monk Fruit. Beauties, this stuff is amazing! It gives just enough sweetness without being overpowering, nor does it have any after taste. I really like Lakanto Monk Fruit Sweetener.

Highly recommend it if you just really need something sweet but don’t want to use sugar. Speaking of something sweet, this has been my go-to “snack” lately.

This is AMAZING. So creamy and delicious especially with the blueberries. It has a savory flavor that is still sweet and it’s really really yummy and super easy to make. I usually make three portions, give my hubby one, eat one for myself, and then have another one for the next day! I’ve tried doing different berries, including using cherries last week. I just made one with pureed strawberries too that was actually really yummy!

One of my favorite meals last week was making a big pot of this Keto Chicken Chili

OMG, so delicious, and I actually used canned chicken (all I had on hand) and canned jalapenos since I didn’t have any fresh. Even Phil liked this chili, and my little ones enjoyed it too!

Another favorite was this Meatball Casserole. I was so surprised the meatballs were so easy to make, and EVERYONE in the family loved it! I will say with the casserole though that it definitely tasted the best day of, still was okay for leftovers, but they didn’t taste quite as delicious.

I know kind of going backwards, but let’s talk breakfast really quick! I have actually been doing intermittent fasting most mornings now, I feel a lot better, I have less IBS flare ups on the days I do IF, and I have actually started feeling sick when I do eat breakfast at a normalish time. BUT, that’s besides the point. My oldest asked me for waffles the other day so I made Keto waffles with a base of coconut flour. I wasn’t sure if they would really turn out fluffy like the recipe said, but wow was I surprised! And my oldest? Yeah he ate at least 2 full waffles. Keep in mind, with the coconut flour, they are super filling, I could barely handle eating 1!!

Okay, so let’s move on from food to makeup! Yay! My favorite.

I’ve talked about before how I am trying to clean up my skin care and makeup. My skin care is, besides my facial cleanser, all non-toxic and/or organic now. My face is clearing up and I know now that when I do have breakouts its directly lining up with having a flare up of my endometriosis or hormones feel off. But one of the areas that has definitely been a lot harder to switch out has been my makeup. I discovered an all natural company called Silk Naturals. I was intrigued at first because they market their foundation as entirely customized….in other words, you can actually mix your powdered foundation to the exact shade you need! I’m really not a fan of powdered foundation so I hadn’t looked in to their website all that thoroughly. That is, until I realized that they carry stick foundations! Not only that, they have a cool toned section, a neutral toned section, and warm toned section! I ordered one of the cool toned sticks and wasn’t sure if I would really like the foundation. The ease of having foundation in a stick was really nice, but it wasn’t going on my skin very well. Once I used a more “slippery” primer, I have had really good luck with using the foundation stick! I can build it up for as much coverage as I need, or I can have just a thin coverage, more like a bb cream than foundation.

The other thing with my makeup I’ve been able to switch out is mascara. I got one mascara and wasn’t excited to try it, but was less than thrilled with it’s coverage on my lashes and with how thin the mascara itself was. Thankfully, the company worked with me and gave me a refund. Which I then turned around and spent on another mascara that was actually better rated. I am in love with this other mascara!

The brand is Naturally Rooted, and the formula is definitely thicker than the other mascara I got. It does require several swipes to get my lashes completely covered, but I get volume, and my eyes don’t itch, and so far, I haven’t noticed any flaking. Another plus? It comes off super easily with water when I wash my face at night! Definitely recommend this mascara for sure. Oh, and a price point of $14 for natural non-toxic mascara? I usually use mascara for about a year before replacing it (I know, I know, it’s supposed to only be 6 months or less) so $14 a year for mascara that’s good for my eyes and lashes, I’ll take.

alright, so that’s it for now. I’m hoping with feeling a bit better I will have more energy to kick out posts more often than once or twice a month! Thanks for bearing with me!

I went through my fifth surgery yesterday morning. When I had another ovarian cyst a few weeks ago, I decided it was time to take a drastic measure; I went in for an endometrial ablation. Which means that the lining of my uterus was completely burned away, and my iud could be removed. My strong suspicion was that my iud was causing the cysts, especially since one of the biggest potential side effects of the iud I had was cysts. I had never had any issues with my first iud several years ago. And I really only had the iud for period management. So the only way I was okay with getting the iud removed was doing something (the ablation) that would manage periods. I wasn’t willing to keep risking my only remaining ovary with getting more cysts.

This was the third surgery I’ve been put under general anesthesia. The second one I didn’t wake up extremely nauseated from or in a lot of pain. I am hoping hoping this ablation will work and I won’t bleed during periods.

A week and a half ago, I hit a really really bad place. It was the closest I’ve come to being suicidal in years. The thing with having multiple interconnected chronic illnesses is that what may work for calming one illness down may cause another one of the illnesses to flare back up. It’s a battle of finding some sort of balance with managing all of my illnesses. I deeply hope that now that my iud is out, my body will have one less thing to deal with that contains foreign matter.

Hitting that low low place was really hard for me. Namely because I felt so alone and defeated. It was that feeling of rushing down a slide, knowing there’s a huge pit of mud at the bottom, and desperately trying to find something to grab on to to stop the falling. I could see what was coming, I knew how I had gotten to such a bad place, but I also didn’t feel like any of my catching mechanisms were kicking in.

Dealing with a singular chronic illness is hard, it’s seriously sucks. Dealing with multiple chronic illnesses is excruciating. Chronic means long term, long lasting, and even in some definitions, something that lasts for longer than 6 months (which, hahahaha, I’ve been dealing with chronic illnesses for over a decade now). Depression and anxiety are constant bedfellows with chronic illness. Not only that, there aren’t many people who can even relate or understand what it’s like to fight to get out of bed every morning, and dread going to bed at night knowing there’s a pretty high chance you won’t fall asleep until the wee hours of the morning. Oh and what about flare ups?! Battling chronic illnesses means that was may have been previously dependable is no longer reliable.

I hate making plans and then having to cancel last minute because of a damn flare up. This happens more than I’d like to admit. For those who are on the receiving end of the cancellations, understand it isn’t our fault, it’s our bodies deciding to take over and make our day hellish. This doesn’t mean we, those with chronic illnesses, don’t want to be invited or asked out for a girls’ (friends’) day out. Fighting with chronic illnesses is not something we can take a break from. We are literally at war with and for our bodies. Having people come alongside us and give us a boost on the bad days really does help.

Friendships falter and shift and end when chronic illnesses rear their ugly heads. Not a lot of people can handle hearing someone say over and over “no, I’m not okay.” It’s easier to leave the ill person in the dust and try to forget them. Those of us with chronic illnesses stop even answering the “how are you” questions. It is easier for us to tell lies than tell the truth and risk losing that friendship. That’s the thing with invisible illnesses – it’s hard for people to believe there is anything even wrong when the illness is not “visible.”

Coming out of my fifth surgery yesterday felt like my normal. I know that’s not how it should be. Having surgeries should not be normal. But I am hoping that this surgery will mean one more step towards getting my body to a manageable and mostly healthy place. I am waiting for labs to come back too, as I got 8 vials of blood drawn a week ago. I may have inadvertently messed those labs up. Whenever I’m getting labs done, I usually try to stop taking all of my supplements a few days before, and then stop using my progesterone cream the evening before getting labs done. This time, well, I forgot to stop taking my meds/supplements, and even put on progesterone cream the morning of getting labs done. I really really hope that doesn’t screw up the results.

The past 6 months has consisted of very careful counting of my spoons every day. Even still, that hasn’t been enough to keep me from falling down. My therapist mentioned a month ago that she felt like I was just maintaining and wasn’t feeling normal life ups and downs. Maintaining is my way of coping when things are really bad. Having four more chronic illnesses added to my list in the past two months has been absolutely hellish. I’ve faced a lot of anger because I’ve been dealing with these things for years, and my parents did nothing, and in fact, they sabotaged any doctor’s visits I had. I’ve been allowing myself to feel more, and I think that’s part of what hit me down so low the other week. I was finally letting myself feel the suffocating heaviness of my illnesses. Since then I’ve been up to high highs and down to low lows. Which yay? I’m feeling? I found my childhood medical records and found a lot of evidence that backs up why I’m so sick in present day. It was validating but also made me feel really sad.

Anyway, sorry this is a heavy post. My mind hasn’t been in the best place lately and I just needed to get these things out. Thanks for reading.

I am now a week into dealing with strep and what I know now to be reactivated mono (Epstein Barr Virus…EBV) and CMV. I just found out yesterday, or rather got confirmation of what I strongly suspected due to my lab results, that I got sick with both of those viruses at some point in the past. And now, because of how compromised my immune system is due to stress and everything else going on with my health, both of those viruses have been reactivated.

I feel the most worn down and sick today than I did a week ago when I was hit with major sinus congestion. 6 days of antibiotics helped get rid of the strep in my throat, but my primary care believes that it has now migrated to my sinuses. yay. more antibiotics. I am doing a nasal antibiotic ointment, but I think it’s still messing with my stomach/gut. I feel a bit defeated with my health too since it’s going to take at least another 3-4 weeks of trying to rest (ha, ha, I have two kids 4 and under), and trying to bolster my immune system before we can retest my thyroid and hormone levels. AAANNND, the chances of me having chronic EBV are actually quite high.

I don’t really have the energy to do a long post today, merely because I think now that the strep is pretty much out of my system, I am feeling the effects of the mono and cmv. It makes me feel like a walking contaminate, even though I know I’m not contagious. Then, because of where I am in my ridiculously annoying consistent cycles, my endometriosis is flaring up and it feels like my body is trying to pretend I have another ovarian cyst. That ovary is gone, body! Add that endo flare up pain on top of my stomach already being ripped up from the antibiotics and let’s just say food and I are not meshing right now. Now that I can finally mostly breathe again, my taste buds are slowly waking back up, but geez, things taste so weird right now too.

So with antibiotics destroying any progress I had made with healing my gut, endo flaring up, food not sitting well with me, my poor abdomen/belly area is all swollen and sore and heaven forbid any sort of pressure from clothes be put on it. Thus a follow up from my last Curvy post; bralettes and swing/t-shirt dresses are my go-to’s right now because no tight bra straps around my ribs (yay endo pain!) and nothing touching or putting pressure on my abdomen (yay antibiotics damage and endo!).

I think I am going to take a break from posting over the weekend, but who know’s, maybe the muse will strike.

Well, I think I have discovered something to keep me consistently blogging! Fashion! I adore fashion, it is something that makes me feel alive, and I love talking about it and sharing the things that have made dressing my body shape easier.

Alright, so before I jump in to some of the things I’ve recently came to a significant conclusion on, I want to share my review on the jumpsuit I just got! I purchased it off of a website called Zaful.com. I will say that the sizing is Asian sizing, so I would highly recommend paying attention to the measurements for each size.

I kept seeing this jumpsuit on my suggested pins on Pinterest. Every time I saw it pass by on my feed, I got this little starry-eyed feeling creep up in my chest. I LOVE the colors and style, but every time I went to click on the link I’d see that it was a jumpsuit. I have never owned a romper or jumpsuit, but decided to take the plunge with this one. As with several things I’ve gotten online before, this will require a few modifications, but for once I know exactly how I want to modify it and I just have to go get the extra material and things I need.

I am so thrilled with this outfit! The only thing I don’t like is that the back has this smocked elastic band at the top of the “pants.” That means it is easy to pull on, but there’s a lot of excess material there, and if it’s going to show off my butt, then it needs to be fitted! I’m planning on cutting off that elastic band, getting it fitted, putting in a zipper, and a wide black band at the top instead of the elastic. Being a seamstress, this is an “easy” project, and I know exactly what I want to do. I’m really excited because besides the extra material at the back, it fits really well and actually feels comfortable!

There is this weird stigma of sorts against women who are curvy and jumpsuits or rompers. Like for some reason, if a person has a wide butt and hips (hello, it me) and is short or wider than they are tall, then they shouldn’t wear rompers or jumpsuits. For some reason “no one wants to see your fat or cellulite.” Well, I say screw society’s ideas! Show your curves! Show your dimples! Or heck, cover them up if that makes you more comfortable. But please? Do what really makes you happy and love your own skin? Please don’t cover up if you’re only doing that because that’s what the culture around you says is best. If there is something you have always wanted to try but have never felt brave enough to do so, here’s my hand, hold it, and you go for it! Me ordering this jumpsuit is a perfect example of just going for something I adored and have always wanted to try. You’ll hear me big a HUGE advocate for wearing whatever you want to wear.

Okay, so this space is not the place for me to talk about my past, but one of the things that still sticks with me today is having spent many years wearing long skirts and dresses. To call them fashionable would be a massive overstatement. They were long denim skirts, very a-line, swishy, and very “modest.” When I was my thinnest (thanks to constant severely high levels of stress) I had a very thin waist, but could never hide or get rid of my hips and butt. Do you know how hard it is to dress a curvaceous butt and hide its shape?! Nearly impossible to do so. Because of those years of wearing loose and non-form fitting skirts and dresses, I still find it hard to wear dresses and skirts in the present day. I went through a period of only wearing pencil skirts and sheath dresses, but even though were still triggering. I put a lot of effort into what I wear because I know that if I am comfortable, I like the garment, and it feels good, then I will feel better. So if I feel like something reminds me of the days that were my own personal hell, then I can never touch that garment again.

However! I believe I have found a work-around. But first, can we talk about something? Inner Thigh Chafing?!

This may be one of the biggest reasons I haven’t worn dresses or skirts over the past 10 years (outside of the association with my past). I would try to wear a dress or skirt in the past and would end up with painfully red and inflamed inner thighs because of that darn chafing. And let me tell you, ingrown hairs in that area are totally a thing! And chafing only makes ingrown hair and blisters even worse. So obvious solution, never wear dresses and skirts, right? Well, kind of wrong. The past two years I’ve done some experimenting with shaving and waxing and hair removal creams. I have discovered that if I wax my inner thighs, then I don’t get ingrown hairs and the chafing is significantly decreased. I purposefully don’t wax until I have plenty of hair for the wax strips to grip. Too much personal information? Oh well, it is so difficult to find solutions for this problem. Trust me, I’ve spent hours trying to find anything that would help.

It’s quick, easy, a little painful (not really though…but then I do have a pretty high pain tolerance…), and when the hair grows back in, it’s softer, thinner, and not prickly at all. And for something like me who has a pretty significant sensory intolerance, not being prickly or feeling like I want to crawl out of my skin as hair grows back in is a big deal.

Alright now that that is out of the way, let’s move on!

Having done the whole shapeless, unfashionable dresses and skirts, and slim fitting, form fitting skirts and dresses, I think I’ve found a middle ground; swing dresses. At least for the summer, t-shirt dresses are the perfect companion to the hotter weather. I have actually been wearing my two dresses more and more frequently. With my tip of waxing my thighs instead of shaving (because yay dark hair) I have discovered that wearing a dress or skirt that is looser around my legs and hips means that a. I don’t sweat at much and b. I have a significantly less amount of chafing. Also, big plus! The swing style dress conveniently hides my uncomfortably swollen abdomen from the antibiotics and hormonal imbalance that I’m dealing with right now.

Old Navy Swing Dress I got several years ago

my favorite pencil skirt

Here’s the thing, I ADORE curvy beings in pencil skirts or sheath dresses. I think those styles were made for those of us with curvy bodies. But, they just aren’t very conducive for summer wear! At least that’s what I’ve found so far. So for the summer, it’ll be swing and t-shirt dresses when I want to just throw something one. Here are a few swing and t-shirt dresses on Amazon that are rated really well and decently priced!

Well, I’m going to wrap up this post and give myself a congratulatory pat on the back for having written it through an episode of antibiotics induced nausea. Gosh, I really hate that stuff.

**This post may contain affiliate links. This means I get a percentage of whatever you purchase through a link I’ve posted at no extra cost to you. I use affiliate links to help a little with keeping this blog up and running.

The theme of my life since the beginning of 2018 has been “How can I heal my body and feel better?” I got some lab results back this past week, and found out that my intuition was right; I have major estrogen dominance which feeds my Endometriosis and Hypothyroidism as well as my fibromyalgia. But I do not have PCOS. So yay? I started on a natural progesterone cream, and while I believe it’s already starting to affect my system, my estrogen dominance symptoms are rearing their ugly heads.

Along with getting answers to health issues I’ve had for at least a decade, most likely even longer, I’ve turned attention to what I’m using on my body – makeup, hair care, lotions, deodorant… – and am trying to figure out what I want to start transitioning to more natural and better for my body products. I spent an hour or so last night researching natural beauty brands and some skin care brands. Half of my skin care routine involves natural skin care (essential oils, rose water, witch hazel…) but the majority of my makeup products and hair care products do not. Now, I have no intention of going full bore with changing out all of the products I use! That would cost and arm and a leg and all of my favorite clothes, but I think it is feasible to slowly change out things purposefully. So today, I decided to switch from my spray deodorant to a Schmidt’s deodorant. I grabbed the Rose + Vanilla one. It has a delicate scent, and I’m eager to see if it will work! I’ve heard good things about Schmidt’s deodorants.

Let’s talk beauty though for a few minutes. I currently use a Korean brand for my BB cream and frankly quite love it! But I’m looking in to a few of the newer beauty brands coming to Target! I’m really excited about trying Hue Noir Foundation and HALEYS Beauty. Which, speaking of Target, I just applied to become an affiliate because I shop there frequently and am super excited about all of the new brands they’re introducing!!

I have officially been diagnosed with chronic illnesses – Endometriosis, Hypothyroidism, andFibromyalgia. I have also been diagnosed with secondary conditions of adrenal fatigue, estrogen dominance, and unofficially/officially IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). Not to mention depression (dysthymia) and anxiety as well. My eyesight is nearly perfect, but I have and get significant eye fatigue and now use 0.75 reading glasses when I’m using my computer. It actually does help my eyes rest and help some of the headaches and migraines I get.

With chronic illnesses, taking care of myself has become vital. It’s also been good for my mental health. Smelling, looking, and feeling good are all connected for me. My body is in such chaos and has been for a very long time that if there are even a few small things I can feel like I have control over the better I can function. There is something very validating in finally getting answers to why my body hasn’t felt good in a very very long time. I honestly can’t remember what it’s like to not be in pain of some kind, or not feel like I’m struggling against wave after wave of fatigue. This doesn’t make me as depressed as it used to though. I know how to function to the best of my ability and I’ve figured out the things that give me a little edge over the pain and fatigue. Things like doing eyeliner, eyebrows, and bronzer or a touch of blush almost every day. Things like wearing the clothes I want to that make me feel good and sexy on my short, short-waisted, and pear shaped body. Things like having to drastically remove foods from my eating-thing (I hate the word d i e t) even though it means I will most likely not be able to add those things back into my eating-thing. Now that I have gotten actual physical confirmation of what’s been going on with my body, I now have the tools to take even better steps towards getting my body to the best place I can health-wise.

What are some of the natural beauty or health-wise things you do? Have you found things that help you feel better? Or what are your comfort items/things/actions that you do when you’re having a bad day?

Welcome to Chronically Curly! I am so excited you’re here, and am very much looking forward to what I can create in this space. I have had a burning desire to learn more about makeup, hair care, fashion, and beauty for several years now. The older I get, the more comfortable I am with my makeup, taking care of my curly hair, and being adventurous with my fashion and overall aesthetic. My dream is to become a makeup artist one day, but I haven’t gotten there yet.

Something you will soon learn about me is that I struggle with two officially diagnosed and three suspected chronic illnesses. These are a HUGE part of my life, and during the bad weeks, I don’t always have enough spoons [more on this in another post] for doing a full blog post. So bear with me please. During those bad weeks, you will probably see posts about self-care, counting spoons, and how I’m functioning especially being mama to two young boys (ages 1 and almost 4).

I grew up very conservative Christian and didn’t get my first “stylish” haircut until I was 20. All of my teenage years, my hair touched my waist, and I often wore “modest” clothing and didn’t start really wearing makeup consistently until about 2 1/2 years ago (at 24-25 years old). I am no longer a Christian, my hair is in an jaw length curly a-line bob that is a dark brown and burgundy ombre, and I wear some sort of makeup daily. And let’s face the truth, most days I live in yoga pants or leggings and comfy, cozy tops! But! Stylish clothes are only what you’d see me in when I’m out in public. It’s all about balance, ya know?

Okay, let’s talk Chronic Illnesses quickly. My officially diagnosed illnesses are Fibromyalgia and Hypothyroidism. The three suspected are IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), PCOS, and Endometriosis. I was officially diagnosed with Fibromyalgia February 2nd, 2009. Hypothyroidism was only officially diagnosed roughly a month ago on February 13th, 2018. I had surgery two weeks ago today (on March 8th, 2018) to remove my right ovary due to chronic cysts. Turns out my ovary was at least tripled in size, full of hemorrhagic cysts, and a large benign cyst. My surgeon also found a lot of scar tissue, including scar tissue binding my bowels to my abdominal wall. The scar tissue sounds a whole lot like endometriosis scar tissue, but I will have to get a second opinion about that.

Moving on!

I am short. Like 5′ 1″. So short. I wear typically a size 10/medium, but I have thunder thighs, a bubble butt, thick calves, and am short-waisted, and struggle with body image at times. When I’m in a lot of pain, or after both of my children were born, I have issues staying grounded and connected to my body. I started a habit a decade ago that each time I look in the mirror I will not leave until I have pointed out at least one thing I like. This has helped greatly with my self-confidence. That AND learning what clothes and styles look best on me and what I love and like the most <– that is important, I always tell anyone I’m giving fashion advice to, do not wear it unless you are comfortable and really LOVE it. Not just like, you need to LOVE the clothes and things you wear.

As I’m nearing 30 I have found skin care is becoming more important to me. So I will be sharing tricks and tips I’ve learned with taking care of my skin (more specifically my face). Also the makeup I use daily, the products I have found the easiest to use or cheapest, and hair care, let’s not forget about that! With my curls, I will be talking most about taking care of your own curls, so I apologize straight haired beauties! I don’t have as many tips for you as that is not something I’m as familiar with. But, I do know that several of my favorite hair care products are good for all types of hair, so keep an eye out.

Well, until next time! Stick with me as I continue to set up the blog and get it the way I want it looking. My hope is in the next few months to get my YouTube channel back up and running, but I am in need of several crucial pieces of equipment before I can start that again.