Monthly Archives: June 2008

I just got back from the most incredible week I’ve had in a long time. For those who don’t know, I took a huge personal risk and went to Grand Rapids Michigan for a speaker’s workshop called Speak Up With Confidence. This class was led in large part by Carol Kent – with a lot of help from her friends let me tell you.

Carol has been teaching this class for about 25 years now. SpeakUP is geared towards enabling and equipping ministry leaders with the skills needed for teaching, speaking, and witnessing Christ with confidence and clarity.

With the loss of my mentors several years back (through geographical moves or death) I have felt lost and a bit alone. I’ve been praying for a learning opportunity like this for the past five years. Once there, I caught myself wondering why God waited until this year to let me know about it. And then it hit me, God waited because this was the first year I was ready for it. I was scared as it was and it took constant prayer just to get me on the plane. Once there I still battled with my own insecurities and fears.

I learned far more than I can blog about today, but I did learn one thing that I do want to write about. Hopelifting. I want to know, am I a HopeLifter or a Hope Crusher? Not only for others, but for myself as well.

The team at SpeakUP is very affirming and gives constructive guidance and feedback. I struggled at times with my own myopic mirror of self doubt and the ability to look around me and encourage others. I love giving encouragment – and I learned that I don’t always know how to receive it.

Throughout the week, I was given affirmations by the leaders at just the right times. One leader called me “beautiful” not once, but twice. Someone else told me she thought I had the friendliest face. Carol wrote after my five minute evaluation “Excellent Communication Skills, very warm and connects with the audience.” and then went on to ask me if I was a teacher. I did internal backflips over that one, let me tell you. To be affirmed by a woman I admire (even if we don’t really know eachother) meant the world.

I’m keeping those evaluation forms in my smile box – I know there will come a day when I’ll need that emotional boost and I can pull them out and read them for a pick me up.

I have a question here – if you do not have someone in your life who is affirming you in healthy and positive ways, can you commit to being that for yourself? I can be my own worst enemy to be honest – I’m known for being verbally and spiritually abusive to myself – “Well that was stupid.” and “I’m such a dork” yes I say those things pretty regularly – I’ve committed to learning how to be that affirming voice for myself – will you join me in that?

I returned on Sunday just in time for a voters meeting at church – still on cloud 9 from this workshop I invited the ENTIRE congregation to SpeakUP. My aim is to bring at least five people back with me next year. People who are ready to take that next step in ministry and step out in faith for Christ.

Voter’s meetings are well, voters meetings what can I say. Being part of a church plant that isn’t always enthusiastically embraced by our congregation is a challenge. We have a couple who openly oppose what we are trying to do and find ways to speak out against it when ever they can.

After the meeting this gal and her husband sought out part of our team to pray with us, and told us all about the two mission churches they tried to start and how they failed. They were trying to be encouraging.. but the message they gave us was “well, we failed so we know that you will too.”

Fortunatley for us, we chose not to receive their words (and it is a choice), and simply thanked them for their time and concern and let them leave.

They are what I call hope crushers… people who are double minded in their caring and who focus their time on telling people why their ideas and dreams won’t work.

I try to avoid people like that.

What I want to do this week is look for opportunities to be a hopelifter in someones life – and watch my words with my own family. Am I being affirming in positive ways? Or am I transferring my past and fears onto someone else?

Do you want to join me? Listen to your words this week – are you lifting up others or smashing them down? Keep a journal and see. When you do see yourself smashing hope – call on Christ – confess it as sin (because that’s what it is) then repent – (turn around in your actions) make a plan to be more affirming – for yourself and for others, and ask for God’s help – he will help you.

Philippians 4:8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Like this:

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

The spiritual gift of prophesy is a sticky wicket to me. I’ve had people tell me at various times in my life that they “have a word” for me. Some ask if they can share it, others… well they just share away. This used to confuse me, until I learned to put things on a shelf and pray about them.

I have a very interesting gal in my life. She’s very pentecostal/charismatic. She prays loudly and uses a lot of words. Some people love to pray with her because she says great things, is “encourgaing” and “makes it feel like God Himself is present.”

I want to like her. But I’m not sure I do. I get my feelings hurt around her a lot, and I’m not sure why. I do know, that when I pray with her I feel hurt by her audacity. The most recent prayer that comes to mind, “Dear Lord please return love to this marriage.” – referring to my husband and I.

I found myself wondering, who told her love had left? And then I started questioning, “had it left and I just didn’t see it?” All I know is I don’t want to pray with her anymore.

I have another friend from Assembly of God and man can she pray too. When she and I pray together, she hears my heart. When I pray with her, I don’t get my feelings hurt and I don’t feel intimidated or overshadowed, rather I feel connected in Spirit with both her and God.

Something is different.

I took my concerns back to God and asked him why I felt the way I did. I wanted to know if maybe it was jealousy. I mean she adores my husband and says wonderful things when she prays over him.

That’s when he showed me another part of Jeremiah 29, this time verses 8 and 9.

“This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the God of Israel, says: “Do not let your prophets and fortune-tellers who are with you in the land of Babylon trick you. Do not listen to their dreams, because they are telling you lies in my name. I have not sent them,” says the Lord.”

I love it when God answers my prayers and concerns like that. I can call a lie a lie when I see it, and I don’t have to receive every word that comes at me as if it comes from God, because it doesn’t always. And when it does, He’ll tell me that too.

Known to say the first thing that comes to my mind and sometimes that get's me in trouble. I once told the King of Sweden that he was shorter than I thought he'd be.

Deana O'Hara:

Former Mommy/Garden Blogger. My kids are grown and my gardens are dead. The fact that I got it in that order is a good thing. -- Granted those teen years were pretty touch and go Now what? If I keep trying to dress my husband and cut his meat for him, he's going to get mad at me. I'm exploring life after kids. Art. Music. Comedy. Fitness after 40. Acting. Poetry. And trying to find out if it is possible to date the man whose underwear I've spent the last 21 years picking up off the floor.

This is my journey.

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