Tuesday, March 31, 2009

When it comes to the compatibility of the Myers Briggs types, there are lots of contradictory theories out there and each of them claims to have found the right fomula. Some of them say that the compatibility is higher as the types are more similar, others sustain the contrary, that the best relationships happen between opposite typologies.

In order to shed some light on the matter, I’ve decided to present every one of them in my posts and let you decide for yourself which one is the most accurate.

One of the most reasonable explanation for good compatibility is the similarity of the people involved. Although it may sound exciting to fall in love with someone who is very different from yourself, experience has proven that these relationships hardly ever pass the test of time, and soon enough the lack of mutual understanding will cause frustration and disappointment on both sides.

With this idea in mind, compatibility between the types will sound something like that:

ENTP most compatible with: ENTP / least compatible with: ISFJ

ENTJ most compatible with: ENTJ / least compatible with: ISFP

ENFP most compatible with: ENFP / least compatible with: ISTJ

ENFJ most compatible with: ENFJ / least compatible with: ISTP

ESTP most compatible with: ESTP / least compatible with: INFJ

ESTJ most compatible with: ESTJ / least compatible with: INFP

ESFP most compatible with: ESFP / least compatible with: INTJ

ESFJ most compatible with: ESFJ / least compatible with: INTP

INTP most compatible with: INTP / least compatible with: ESFJ

INTJ most compatible with: INTJ / least compatible with: ESFP

INFP most compatible with: INFP / least compatible with: ESTJ

INFJ most compatible with: INFJ / least compatible with: ESTP

ISTP most compatible with: ISTP / least compatible with: ENFJ

ISTJ most compatible with: ISTJ / least compatible with: ENFP

ISFP most compatible with: ISFP / least compatible with: ENTJ

ISFJ most compatible with: ISFJ / least compatible with: ENTP

But where’s the fun in that?

Opposite types compatibility (Kersey)

To add more salt and pepper to the whole relationship thing, some experts have decided to go for the ‘opposites attract’ explanation, which in my opinion is mainly based on exactly that: attraction. As for true compatibility, who knows? Infatuation was never a solid ground for a long-term engagement.

ENTP most compatible with: ISFJ

ENTJ most compatible with: ISFP

ENFP most compatible with: ISTJ

ENFJ most compatible with: ISTP

ESTP most compatible with: INFJ

ESTJ most compatible with: INFP

ESFP most compatible with: INTJ

ESFJ most compatible with: INTP

INTP most compatible with: ESFJ

INTJ most compatible with: ESFP

INFP most compatible with: ESTJ

INFJ most compatible with: ESTP

ISTP most compatible with: ENFJ

ISTJ most compatible with: ENFP

ISFP most compatible with: ENTJ

ISFJ most compatible with: ENTP

Main cognitive function compatibility

An interesting view on Jungian compatibility suggests that types with inverse main cognitive functions are best suited for each other. Therefore if you’re a Ti dominant, you probably should be looking for a Te dominant to share your life with, and so on.

ENTP (main function Ne) most compatible with: INTJ, INFJ

ENTJ (main function Te) most compatible with: INTP, ISTP

ENFP (main function Ne) most compatible with: INFJ, INTJ

ENFJ (main function Fe) most compatible with: INFP, ISFP

ESTP (main function Se) most compatible with: ISTJ, ISFJ

ESTJ (main function Te) most compatible with: ISTP, INTP

ESFP (main function Se) most compatible with: ISFJ, ISTJ

ESFJ (main function Fe) most compatible with: ISFP, INFP

INTP (main function Ti) most compatible with: ENTJ, ESTJ

INTJ (main function Ni) most compatible with: ENTP, ENFP

INFP (main function Fi) most compatible with: ENFJ, ESFJ

INFJ (main function Ni) most compatible with: ENFP, ENTP

ISTP (main function Ti) most compatible with: ESTJ, ENTJ

ISTJ (main function Si) most compatible with: ESTP, ESFP

ISFP (main function Fi) most compatible with: ESFJ, ENFJ

ISFJ (main function Si) most compatible with: ESFP, ESTP

Secondary function compatibility

Actually this theory was developed by me and it’s based on Lenore Thomson’s ideas from her book “Personality Type: An Owner’s Manual” (which, by the way, is a great read). Lenore claims that real balance within a type is obtained when we’re able to use and develop our secondary function well enough – without a properly working secondary function, we are trapped, either in our inner subjective worlds (introverted types) or in our outer, objective environment (extroverted types). We need to develop both of these perspectives in order to have a healthy psychological life, and that’s exactly what our second function can help us do.

This compatibilty system is focused on how well the 2nd function of each partner’s type is balanced by the relationship.

37
comments:

Anonymous
said...

Intriguing...I've reached similar conclusions through different means....in attempting to understand my experience (an ENFP whose long-term relationships have only been with INTPs)....I've often felt that one of the missing lens in analyses of type and relationship is values...

To provide an example, I believe that the actual opposite of the ENFP is the ESFP/ESTP because the idealist and artisan values (especially the extroverted artisan) seem opposed. By contrast, I have many close ISTJ friends and believe that there is a good deal of overlap between the guardian values (well-being of others) and idealist values (even though the opposite communication styles may be challenging at times...)

Also, I have a tendency to think that my experience has something to do with the J/P preference and amount of grey present in the thinking style. Even though the INTJ is often cited as the ideal mate for the ENFP, I find this difficult to understand b/c find the INTJ thinking style too black and white for my all-grey-all-the-time thinking style. I especially find that the extroverted judging more black-and-white thinking style is the opposite of my extroverted perceiving thinking style. In my experience, INTPs seem to be one of the only types that think in as much grey as the ENFP (as another extraverted intuitive type?) Just now I found one blog that mentions something that might be related to my J/P thoughts (i.e. that EP is the opposite of EJ) - "Extroverted Perception is the radically right-brained faculty in the sense that Leanor Thomson has used the term, and Extroverted Judgment the radical left-brained faculty."

I also am an ENFP and I've found that my most satisfying relationships have been with the S types. At least for me, I am always searching for someone who intrigues me. I've met other ENFP's, and while we get along, I usually get bored with them quickly because I understand them so well and there is no challenge in the relationship.

I usually have a hard time with the T types because they limit my ideas by pointing out the flaws in them, thus leaving me frustrated. Not to say I don't befriend them, but I do have a harder time getting romantically involved with those types.

I don't think one formula works for all types. It may take two or three formulas. For example, the more "soft" codes you have "i,n,f,p" the more you might need to stay away from multiple "hard" codes, combinations of T + J. Also, you might need someone to take care of your reality so some practical codes, such as E and S would make your life much more livable...you would get fed, diapered and put down for a nap more regularly...and your garage would be organized. If you have a mix of codes, "E N F J", "ISTJ", "ESFJ", "ENTP", "ISFJ", "ESTP", "ESTJ", etc., you can afford to go for your hot, attraction, soulmate, because you are already functional. Just my opinion. I am an INTP...and I switch between ESTJs who I am hot for, ESFPs who clean my garage, ESFJs who want to marry me, INTJs who think we should be together but I'm not attracted, etc...

I wonder if we can ever truly prove what types are best suited for what..I'm an ENTP (thought for the longest time I was an ENFP as the T and F are close in score - but came out as a T) and have been with my spouse for 9 years, who's an ESFP. We butt heads from time to time and although I would say we've had challenging times - mainly to do with a lack of proper communication or a struggle of egos, it's been a pretty phenomenal match and we're as strong as the first exciting year together :). We've had more success then most of the relationships I've seen and our struggles have made us stronger.

I find that the extroversion on both sides is powerful in a social setting..I think it would be strange for one of us to be introverted...I would be interested to hear what others say though about these sorts of 'odd' combinations.

I am an ENFP partnered with an INFJ for 7 years now. Reading the comments on compatibility, this would seem to be a very good combination. However the I/E causes us quite a bit of difficulty. I find that after the 4th week of spending every night in, including weekends, I start going stir crazy. However, I have never been attracted to extraverts in romantic relationships. I wonder how much this has to do with nurture (rather than nature) since both my parents are extraverted (Father ENFP - Mother ESFJ).

Opposites Totally Attract. I am an ENFJ married to an ISTP for 10 years. We complement each other very well. My boss and her husband are the same. We are in community relations and outreach married to a plumbers/electrictians respectively. I've found as long as the fundamentals are the same - deep-seeded personal conviction and beliefs, everything works! He is everything I am not and I adore him for it! Hope my comment helps in your research. Best of Luck to you!! :)

Fascinating read. I'm actually an INFJ and have been for as long as I can remember. I share a mutual fascination with personality types and tests. What's funny is that someone mentioned that they get bored easily with their same types. What's funny to me is that I've noticed that none of my relationships last because I get bored with all of them! Seriously; it's all exciting and heart-throbbing good at first, but then I feel I know everything there is to know about them, can predict what they'll do or say...and then I'm just bored! It wasn't until I met another INFJ that it was awesome because FINALLY I didn't have to explain every single thing to someone; they just knew. And it was such a relief to have someone who understands and sees the world and people as I do. Because I swear, it seems as if the world can be quite oblivious at times! Just my two cents :p

I'm a gay INTJ in a thirty year relationship with an ESFP, believe it or not. My partner says and does things so outrageous to me that I start laughing and don't know what to do. We have absolutely zero in common except our undying love for each other.

Then again, it may just be a great value system and commitment to relationship. I am the oldest of 8 kids, and our family has nine of the sixteen types, but we are all really close thanks to Mom and Dad's rearing... accept the other person for who they are and celebrate the differences God has given you.

BTW, I am INTJ. The most humorous contrast in our family was our two older boys, who looked identical and were 16 months apart. ISTJ and ENFP. No kidding. And these guys shared a room all the way through high school...

I am and ENTJ who is partnered with an INTP. So our Te and Ti dominant functions seem to complement each other well. Our relationship is largely an intellectual connection - we are both stimulated by novel, complex things. We are both driven, ambitious people who have a thirst for knowledge and learning. I love and deeply respect how my INTP husband is his own person, who is unconventional and doesn't care to conform to things he doesn't believe in strongly. I'm a female ENTJ who feels pressure to conform to "feminine" qualities, and have endured emotional pain because I don't act like, or tolerate the "ESFJ" typical "nurturing" female types. I've been criticized for my non-team player attributes, and selfishness, but I also understand those are my strengths - independent thnker, organized, strong-willed, driven. I'm also employed in a female dominated job - which doesn't help bring out my best qualtiies either, but whatever, I know that now.

I honestly think that I am such a strong-willed person that I need my equally strong-willed INTP to balance me out and also to push back, when I push, because I do push others, as well as myself hard. I respect that he won't tolerate my bad behavior. He has enough balls to stand up to me, lol!

Our I/E difference does cause some difficulty; however, since our MBTI types are independent by nature, I go out to see friends and he happily stays at home. I would highly recommend reading "Just Your Type: Create the Relationship You've Always Wanted Using the Secrets of Personality Type " by Paul and Barbarer Tieger. It gives insights into the pros and cons of all the possible pairings between the 16 types.

I'm an ESTP married to a INFJ for 24 years, and dated for five years before that. We are indeed opposites for many reasons, and there's lots of conflict because of that, most typically along the P-J dimension. Nonetheless, she's the love of my life, my best friend, and I wouldn't want it any other way!

this just may be so simple it's stupid, but to find one's compatible type all one as to do is type a UNSUB for what they need in their life. The KISS principle....I.e I always come back as INFJ as the type of values I am looking for in people. Completing yourself is looking for what's missing and if they have it.

my boyfriend of one year is a ENFP and I'm an INFJ. I haven't found problems with the E and the I- we seem to complement each other well because he likes to be listened to and I like to listen. We like spending time together, and we're not afraid of silences that come up as a result of not having anything to say. Our biggest conflict is the J and the P. I'm very goal-oriented and I worry about how things are going to work out, and my boyfriend says "we can work things out later."I've read the description of an ENFP in love and it actually scares me... ENFP's aren't notorious for making relationships last... Now I'm worried about my relationship, despite the fact we are supposedly compatible!

But in my experience, it does take effort. I am a card carrying, bonified ENFP and my husband of 15 years is an ISTJ.

Polar opposites. We do clash but at the same time, we balance each other out too. One main area that I can give you an example of is he handles the money, budget and finances. He gives me an allowance and I buy the stuff that make our life comfortable (like decorations for the house or a desert for dinner) while he buys the stuff that makes our life work (light bulbs and ground beef).

I think you have to take into consideration life experiences as well and no strict personality test can do that so no method of compatibility will be 100% accurate. My ISTJ husband had a very gentle, traditional upbringing which softens his rigidness. I had a rather dysfunctional life as a child and teen in which I had to depend on myself and even move out on my own by the age of 15. This brought an air of responsibility to my frivolous nature.

So while our strongest base impulses are true to our personality type, because of our formative life experiences, we can appreciate the other side of things even though it takes work.

The result for us has been not perfect harmony by any means but balance. So 17 years of being together, 15 of that in marriage later, we are still going strong!

I don't think opposites attract. ISFP+ENTJ is a bad match trust me. On the other hand entj infp relationships work splendidly. I guess those could be seen as opposites because only 1 letter is in common but actually they have the same judging functions and the common N is crucial for understanding.

i feel lonely if i am not with another NT...as if there is nobody to talk to who will understand. NT's are not great at listening, but they understand me. Other types may love me and enjoy listening...but they don't understand...and lots of that listening is for their education, amusement or just because they are sweet; not because they can offer anything (that I need) back.

I'm an ENFP, and I've found that I surround myself with Js. Of all the friends and relatives who know their personality type (which, admittedly, is not everyone), there is not a single P amongst them.

My boyfriend and I have only been together for a few weeks, but thus far I can tell it's the healthiest and best relationship I've ever been with. He is ENFJ--therefore, very similar to me, but with a J's decisiveness to balance out P.

On the flip side, while I have many friends and family members who are Ss, they are the ones I tend to have the most trouble communicating and relating. My father and one of my good friends are ISTJs (my exact opposite) and we have trouble just 'getting' each other. I love my dad, and my friend, but I can't ever imagine being in a romantic relationship with someone of that type. My other closest 'S' is a ESFJ.

My mother and father have been married for 30 years in a couple months. He's an ISTJ and she's an ENFJ. My best friends parents just celebrated 36 years, and they too only share one of the same. I thought there might be something in that. My sister and her boyfriend have been together for four and a half years and on the verge of being engaged and he's an ENFP and she's an INTJ. My best friend is also an INTJ.

I'm a INTJ and I've always found that my relationships all have types sharing N and J with me, and I've never had a disastrous relationship. I've always gone for Es, and it seems to work well, possibly because we both subdue and encourage one another in social and private settings. The problem begins when I date a type with F. My percentile in T and J is very high, which I try to work to lessen. But past relationships have fallen because the emotions involved wear on me.

Right now, I've been dating a ENFJ for three years, and it's actually been going splendidly. His F component is not strong, and he's helped me open up to people a little more (I still can't be as social as him, especially for long periods of time. He loves people.). He's romantic, but not to a fault, and the subtleties of his love actually pique my interest. I don't want visions of grandeur, thank you very much. Unexpectedly, I've completely fallen for him, and I'm not really sure what to do about it!! XD

I am an INTJ who has is starting into a wonderful relationship with an ESTJ, so I have been thinking a lot about personality interaction models and how to best understand her. There is more to it all than saying that she thinks concretely and that I think abstractly. I am a little surprised at how poorly thought out the published literature which I have found on this topic seems to be.

It is interesting that there is no distinction between workplace interactions and personal relationship interactions. The two are very different. In workplace interactions you want similar people to minimize conflict and get the work out efficiently. Of course, there is a lot of money in the deal for M-B consultants who correctly preach the value of diversity even though diversity often interferes with productivity.

Elsewhere on this blog Kiersey’s ideas of ‘opposites attract’ is trivialized as infatuation. In my rather extensive experience Kiersey is actually right that complementary personalities build more rewarding relationship bonds than do congruent personalities. Kiersey has written well over 100 pages on the types that bond the strongest at the personal level. Interestingly, his very verbose treatment of the topic can be reduced to a single sentence, which is: The strongest relationship bonding occurs between two people having all four M-B letters different, and in the next strongest bonding the couple shares only the second letter.

I would hope that there is a way to somehow filter the gold from the rubbish in this area. The problem of course is that it can be very difficult to tell which is which.

Well, I am an INFP and have a very close friend whom I get along with very well, and she is a ENFP (supposed character match). I find that our friendship is natural. But I am in a relationship with a guy I believe to be an INTJ (supposed least compatibly partner).

My relationship with him is difficult, but there does seem to be a tie. The conflicts that we face are my idealism and over sensitivity and his way of expressing his interest, by teasing me. Although it may seem that we may not be meant for one another and I do feel that I can agree at times, I believe that if two people really do chose to love one another, then in the end the relationship can be worked at if given effort on both sides.

I am an INTJ, and I find I do best with Introverts. I prefer one-on-one interaction, where both individuals can really focus on each other--in my opinion, a relationship that's not a deep one isn't a relationship worth having. I also find that my most rewarding relationships have been with Ns of all kinds. I enjoy the internal, theoretical knowledge that the Ns I've met all have. To me, the best kind of relationship is one where you can use your minds together, and I've never been disappointed by an N in this department.

My most fulfilling relationships are with an INFJ, an ENFJ, and an INTP (though I also have some very good ENFP friends). My INFJ is wordly, intelligent, extremely intuitive, and supportive. We differ in our views of the word (i.e., the goodness of humanity, hope, mercy vs. justice, etc.), but we are wonderful matches for each other because we have such a strong ability to care about each other. My ENFJ is always on the move--which is hard for me, being very introverted--but challenges me to step outside of my comfort zone; this ENFJ is personable, witty, and very much on my wavelength (he has the tendency to read my mind on occasion).

Most people would think that an INTJ and an INTP may not mesh well together, as they're so similar, but the INTP I know fits so well with me as a person, it's almost scary. The fact that our types are so similar is a boon to our friendship. My INTP is breezy, intellectual, theoretical, and deeply complex. We spin these wild theories together; we can delve deep into each other's minds and find common streams running through each. I have never found someone outside of my family who I connect with on such an intricate level before. My relationship with this INTP is one of the most important and rewarding of my life.

Lastly, I tend not to get along with S types. I find S types to be too concrete for my taste. I guess it's my own stubbornness; several times when I've come into contact with S types we end up butting heads. I get bogged down by little details, but S types seem to relish them. I guess have a hard time understanding and meeting S types in the middle.

My parents have been married for 30 years and they are complete opposites. My dad is an ESFP and my mom is an INTJ. I am like my mom in the I and J categories and like my dad in the F and S categories. Very cool. I guess I need to find a man whose combination is ENTP!

I definitely fall in love with other xNxPs but making love last with them is difficult. As an ENFP, I'm not great with life's practicalities and at some point having 2 dreamers together eats away at the relationship. You need 2 people who have very different skills but great respect and affection for each other to make it work.

I am a ESFP and well I unfortunately have not had the opportunity to date many different types but right now I am dating another ESFP. It has been the best relationship i have ever experienced and while some may say it may become boring i disagree. Just because we have the same personality type it does not mean we are on the same range. He may be closer towards an ESFJ than i am. Not to mention different factors like the institutions we grew up with and unique experience we always find conversation. I think the fact that we do have the same personality and way of thinking it helps because we can put ourselves in each others shoes and have a better understanding. Then theres the fact that everyone has certain preferences, alot of theorys suggest opposites are the best but i do not like being around introverted people, especially when a party is over and they are drained and im all pumped up. It just depends on the person and what they look for and work off of. He brings the best out of me and thats why I like him so much

I'm not sure how true this is.. I am an INFP and my boyfriend is an ISTJ.. and supposedly we are considered "least compatible" with each other. There's plenty of passion in our relationship, even though its long-distance and we're still in our teens! We've been together for over a year now and we've been off and on twice due to my parent issues. We have communication issues if anything.. but that's a challenge of any relationship. Talk, talk, talk some more, and when you think you couldn't talk more, talk some more! Communication really is key, along with forgiveness, which is probably even more important. Sometimes he has a harder time understanding me, since I am random and sporadic, but I actually can read him like a book. And between that understanding and communication that we maintain, our relationship works out pretty good! I can have a great time with him, even if he is cliche-ish sometimes.. which I'm not completely fond of, but nobody can be perfect! All i know, is that we've been through a LOT in the past year, and thats made our relationship only stronger! What doesn't break you, only makes you stronger!!:) And I know that I love him with all my heart!! So I really think that if both sides work on the relationship, anything is possible! Even if you are considered incompatible!

Cocerning the last list of compatiblities, I just think I should mention that I am an ISFP whose best peer-level friend is an INTJ and whose best above-peer level friend is an INFJ (which contradicts the list's recommendation). Also, I find ESTJ and ESFJ types can be exhausting to interact with. ENFP types are a neutral subject for me: I get along with the ones I know, but have not developed a deep relationship.

It is very nice to see all the professional suggestions for compatiblity on ONE site!

INTJ woman here: I personally get tired of extraverts (E) Cannot stand 'feelers' (F), way too irrational and not practical at all. (P)- not gonna work for me either - I like planning ahead of time and the 'last minute' thing is a deal breaker for me. Strongly prefer (N) over (S) People with no (N) are hard to communicate with, they are not able to read between lines and seem too flat in communication. Hard to explain.

I'm an ESFP and the only relationship that really excited me and kept me constantly on my feet was with an ENFP. Though I think we've both changed a lot, we are the only two people who really get and understand each other no matter what and tell the other more than we tell anyone else, including family. Even though we aren't together anymore, we still trust each other more than we want to. And I still hope that someday we could be together again cause I've never found a better partner.

I found this to be an interesting read. As far as compatibility I don't think any one person can be categorized as just an N or an S or just an E or an I. I agree that more developed people will find compatibility more easily than those who are less developed. I fall into the the ISTJ category as well as the INTJ category with a score of 50% in N as well as S. My husband is an INTJ and we are quite compatible. Occasionally we do butt heads, he typically wants to find a million ways to do things while I am content to stick with just one that has already proved useful. That being said, compatibility seems to depend on individual's self development rather than just their personality type.

I am an INTJ and my opposite would drive me insane with anger. Such a relationship, for me, would have 0% success. I was in a relationship with a guy who was probably an ENFP... not sure, but he was certainly an extrovert and he loved helping random acquaintances, cried a lot, told me when he got sexually excited by other women, and never missed an opportunity to blame me for judging people and "hating" them - even when I didn't think I was being hateful, or when the people I criticized had backstabbed him or me. It was disastrous. Maybe it was because we were too young, or that guy in particular was simply a jerk to me, but I'm definitely not interested in someone so random and so different from me.

Now I am in a relationship with someone who turned out to be the same type as me. We have been together for a few years. I don't think being with your clone would be a good thing, since that would mean you have the same weaknesses, and neither of you can cover for them. But my partner and I aren't really the same, we just agree on important things in life.

I have this theory that people of N types are more likely to care about MB typing then people of S types. Above there are roughly 30 posters identifying as N types and 3 identifying as S types, so I think that supports my theory. I'm an INFP (the quadfecta of "soft" types) and my wife of 12 years is a INTP. I'm almost a T and more extroverted than she is. The fact we are both N's is nice for conversations in my opinion, and the fact that we are both P's is nice for planning (or not planning) social functions and our disorganization doesn't completely drive the other equally disorganized person bonkers.

This is interesting... I'm an INFP and my partner is an ISTJ we have been together for years and get along quite well! we complement each other amazingly and have improved each others "eccentricities" ie. I have become more realistic and they have become more caring throughout our time together. We have many similar hobbies and have come to enjoy some of our differing hobbies as well. We never fight! We are very comfortable together and know each other so well that we could take the myers briggs test for each other and get the accurate result!

INFP here! While I think the best match is different for every individual, I have found in my experience that I need a partner who has the F preference in common with me. I have almost exclusively dated strong Thinking preference types, and these relationships never work out and leave me feeling frustrated and misunderstood. In the context of an intimate relationship I find that, because I'm so sensitive and emotional, a person with a Thinking preference is too robotic and cold in their demeanor and approach (this is not a judgment on all T types, just my personal experience as a strong F). I recently started seeing another INFP, and I can't tell you how amazing it is to finally be with someone who just "gets" you, even when you know you're being overly-emotional at times. I'd be interested to hear from other INFPs about their ideas on "best matches" for our type.

For the anonymous who said s/he worked well with INFP as an ENFJ : I totally agree.

Although I may be biased by what they say on it on personalitypage, as an INFP who doesn't have a lot of "super friends", my 2 super friends are an ENFJ who is one of the only ones who accept my hugs and an ESTJ who was my roommate for a year and that I finally understand. I found that if I could live with an ESTJ as she would almost completely balance me, the ENFJ or ESFJ (both EF dominant) are the only ones to truly accept and understand my (overwhelming) feelings. The only fights I could have with them are some of values (just P/J things).Once, I was in love with an ENFJ and after trying to forget her because of circumstances, I realized I couldn't after having a conversation of 5 minutes with her. Also, people who would see us would say there is some kind of a "chemistry" between us, even if we were never together as a couple due to those circumstances. But then again, the only others with whom I have tried were ISFJ and I really can't stand their fear of unknown little things/changing a tiny habit even if they are of the nicest I know and INFP whom I could only see a love without anything more, kind of in a narcissistic way.

I really think that going for the I for an E or E for an I in the dominant is the best way to improve ourselves and others in the best way possible and for the best in general.