How to Deal with Difficult People in a Healthy Way

How to Deal with Difficult People in a Healthy Way

The reason I added “in a healthy way” to this title is because there is in fact a difference in how to handle difficult people. And we today, are going to [try] to focus on the healthy way. There are difficult people in all of our lives. Roommates, bosses, loved ones, co-workers, the list is endless honestly. And dealing with these people is hard, especially in a way that allows you to gain the respect and outcome you desire while also keeping your integrity and character in check. Meaning, cussing out a person and yelling at them may (but probably wont) get them to see your point, although I really doubt youd keep your integrity in the process. I get it, giving the person your frustrated with a few choice words feels really good, but it won’t help much in the long run. This is what I try to consider when dealing with difficult people.

Do not shy away from confrontation

This seems to be the biggest problem with handling difficult people, especially for women. As a general population, we are not taught to stick up for ourselves and defend our virtue. We are taught to be dismissive and tolerate inappropriate actions towards us, not just from men, but anyone who mistreats us in order to not ruffle any feathers. If a coworker is an asshole, we shouldn’t ignore them and then let the anger fester in our heads and then gossip about that person behind their backs. We need to confront that person, tell them the shut the f*** up, and then move on from the situation. Well, maybe telling them to shut the f*** up isn’t handling it in that “healthy” way I mentioned earlier, so perhaps we should just tell them to stop? Either way, do not shy away from making your voice heard when it comes to telling someone your feelings in a difficult situation. It does you no good to allow someone to believe that their behavior is acceptable towards you, and by not standing up for yourself you are telling that person that what they are doing is okay. You need to have enough self respect and love for yourself that it makes you never accept anything less than respect from other people.

Accept that often times the other person won’t respond according to how you want

In our little make believe land, we would confront someone and that person would hear us out and then profusely apologize. However, I think that has happened like less than half the time I tell someone to back off or stop what they are doing to me. Thus, this tip is important because a lot of the act of confronting someone isn’t to get them to apologize (although I mean that is definitely a plus), it’s also to show them that you demand respect. Regardless of if they give you the respect you are demanding, the fact that you put yourself in a position to show that person that you are not someone they can mistreat is enough. You took the initiative to show that person that you deserve better and that their attitude is wrong, and if you are proud that you stuck up for yourself, then girl, that is all you need to do. Whether or not that person wants to apologize, that is their own problem now. You did what you had to do for yourself.

You can at least control yourself if nothing else

This sort of ties in with the previous point in that you can only control your own actions. You can choose to get hung up over someone being a jerk to you, or you can have peace with yourself and move on knowing that that person’s opinion and actions don’t need to control you. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t speak up on your own behalf if someone is rude to you, but it does mean to choose your battles. You don’t need to get hung up on settling the scoreboard with everyone who is rude to you because if you do, it will be a long life of holding grudges and resenting people. Sometimes it is better just to brush off situations and remember that other people can’t control your happiness. However, only you know where your limit is with dealing with difficult people so only you can choose what let by and what to confront.

Know When it is Time to Move On

This can be the hardest way to deal with difficult people. Sometimes these difficult people come in the form of toxic relationships or just toxic people that are around you daily. If someone is constantly hurting you or putting you down, maybe instead of confronting them uselessly, you need to just leave them be and move on from that person. You need to know when enough is enough with a person who is a constant source of stress in your life. It isn’t easy, but if the friendship you are in or the relationship you hold with a co-worker is something that is always rocky, that can be a sign that you need to let that go. Maybe be straightforward with that person about your intentions or just slowly drift away, it is your choice. Holding on to a person who no longer serves your best interest is not a self honoring or healthy way to live life.