First aid for the second half of marriage

One way to sustain a marriage through the second half is to keep generating life as a couple, says Mary Jo Pedersen. Have a mission, whether it’s neighborhood cleanup, political campaigning, or mentoring other couples. “Nurture life; protect life in some way together.”

Also, remember that marriage is a covenant that a couple makes together but also with God. “So God is in the marriage. It’s like electricity is coming into your home, but you don’t know it is unless you plug something in, turn on a light. You have to plug into it.”

Convert fighting into negotiating. “Don’t wait till he’s walking to the garage,” Pedersen says. “Say, ‘Could we take 15 minutes tonight to talk? Because there’s something that’s important to me, that I need your full attention for.’ I cannot overemphasize prayer and communication—they’re the same thing. Communicating with each other and with God is the same thing.”

Finally, it’s never too late to learn to yield. “Sacrifice is out of style culturally,” Pedersen says. “But the people who sacrifice in marriage have happier marriages.”

Need a booster shot for yours? Here are a few of many.

Programs

MarriageAlive.com[2] David and Claudia Arp founded Marriage Alive International and created the Second Half of Marriage program.

Marriageteam.org[3]A faith-based but non-denominational nonprofit program, based in Vancouver, Wash.