“We just got sold to McDonalds! Look for McDonalds in a hood near you,” announced a chipper tweet sent earlier today from the official Burger King Twitter account, suggesting that the two fast-food giants had crossed their hamburger streams and merged into some unholy megachain where employees shoot heroin and snort crushed-up Percocets in the bathrooms, rapper Gucci Mane has knocked off Grimace, Chief Keef is a now patron saint/Fry Guy, and a free gram of bath salts comes with the purchase of every Big Mac. Up until a few minutes ago, the chain’s banner read, “BURGER KING® USA official Twitter account. Just got sold to McDonalds because the whopper flopped =[ FREDOM IS FAILURE℠” And because it’s a national holiday, the hack went on for more than an hour, and responsibility has been vaguelyclaimed by an Anonymous-affiliatedhacker. On the plus side, the chain now has more than 23,000 new followers, up from 82,000 this morning to its current 105,000. The account has been suspended, but screenshots of some of the high jinks are straight ahead.