The first step is to believe you are unique… different from your siblings, your twin and from every other human being ever created or to be created. Once you realize this, it should be a strong motivator for you to leverage your uniqueness and showcase your identity to the world. Far too often we associate academic or sporting brilliance at an early age as a sure sign of future success. The reality is that with few exceptions, most of those who showed early promise could not cope with the pressures of the world or did not have the nerve to move out of their comfort zone and make a unique mark. Of course the word successful is relative. As long as you use your talents, promise and abilities to become someone better than anyone hoped you would, it could be a fair indicator of talent. A better measure would be if you are happy with what you have achieved and do not have any regrets about not fulfilling your promise, that would be real success.

To become what you are capable of, focus on these:

Believe in yourself – Have the confidence that you have it in you to do something special. While academic excellence could boost your chances of doing well, it is actually the self belief, the discipline and the passion that one brings in, that opens the doors to achievement and success. Self belief also fortifies you against nay-sayers, the critics, those who discourage you and those who constantly belittle your progress. Self belief gives you the energy to carry on when progress seems slow or non-existent and when obstacles and failures occasionally threaten to derail your plans.

Be prepared to learn – Every type of formal learning as well the experiences of each passing day, gives invaluable practical learning. The challenge is to be open minded and willing to soak in the learning. Occasionally the learning can be tough and painful; other times it can be easy and simple. The key is to seek out the learning each day and put it into practice by adopting / adapting good practices and giving a wide berth / avoiding the bad practices.

Be prepared to fail – Failure is an essential requirement for success, for it is the true measure that explains life’s uncertainties and challenges. It also prepares one to anticipate troubles, teaches one to think creatively, toughens one to face adversities and most of all it helps one to realize one’s own potential, passion and purpose. Failure is also a sure sign that one is trying and doing something and not merely day dreaming.

Be prepared to take risks –Although one is prepared to fail, there is always the psychological barrier that often limits us from daring, moving out of our comfort zone and taking the big leap. Many a time it is the outcome of ‘paralysis by analysis’. Other times it is simply because the going is good and so why test one’s potential attitude. Unless one thirsts for success, enhances one’s benchmark, craves to make a mark, the risk taking ability remains dormant. Visualizing the big picture, focusing on the ultimate goal and challenging yourself are the best ways to take risks and realize one’s latent potential.

Keep going – There could be setbacks, you could get tired and discouraged and occasionally the mind would waver and set in motion negative thoughts. Pause but do not stop. Catch your breath, reinforce your zeal, get inspired by your vision, be motivated by the challenge you have taken up and keep going.

You have a point to prove to yourself; to be somebody nobody thought you could be !

Try these:

List out the 5 – 10 things you were keen on doing but which others discouraged you from doing or that which people said was beyond your capability. Now choose one which you are still passionate about and set yourself a deadline and a plan of action to achieve it. Begin now.

If you have an audience, what is the one ability that you can showcase and grab their attention? It could be a magic/ card trick, an exquisite piece of musical talent, it could be mimicry, cartooning or painting or sketching, telling your favorite joke in your own unique style, creating your own limerick instantaneously etc.

We have to create our own destinies and this can happen only when we grab every opportunity that comes our way. The trouble is that we eithernkeep waiting for the opportunities to come our way or we do not recognize the opportunities that come our way, unless it is too late. We wait in vain or miss out opportunities simply because most times opportunities present themselves in the guise of hard work. Almost everyone has the intent to get cracking on a task and is prepared to work hard to grab the opportunities that come their way. However, often it is only when we initiate the opportunity, that we are convinced that the hard work, the end result and the success allied to it, is worth it. It simply means that one has to create the opportunities that one eagerly looks forward to, in order to alter one’s life dramatically. Creating opportunities is not too difficult but it follows a process listed below.

Prepare for it – Look at all the successful people and you will find one common trait that they share. They prepared to make the most of the opportunities that came their way. To begin with, they identified their strengths, worked hard on eliminating their weakness and prepared themselves to get an expertise in their chosen line of work. Even successful actors would have gone to acting school, as did the successful sportsmen who took their childhood grooming very seriously. Even successful businessmen took professional courses, apprenticed with experienced professionals and perhaps even started work on the shop floor. Yes get to understand the job from the basics and work yourself up. Remember ‘ chance favors the prepared man’.

Search for it– Opportunities abound all around. However it may never look so crystal clear to you unless you actually seek it out. So you like the glamour business and want to succeed in it. You may not have any glamour quotient you but there is a lot of background work opportunities that may fit your temperament and aptitude. Similarly, the studious would want to leverage their brilliance but they have to explore hidden opportunities that exist in that space right from teaching to becoming an entrepreneur or a consultant or a professional.

Identify it – This is tougher because all options look equally exciting. More importantly, you are never sure if you miss out on something more exciting once you commit to something. The reality is that you must chose what appeals most to you and then go on to make it the most exciting thing for you. Identifying an opportunity is all about aligning your interests, your competence to fulfill a gap that exists. Opportunities to excel exist in every sphere. Some could translate opportunities into business ventures, others could grow in their workplace and others could become leaders who make a difference in the environment they influence.

Execute it– Merely identifying opportunities won’t take anyone very far. Ultimately, just as the proof of the pudding is in the eating, an opportunity has to made use of. It is essential to start acting on the idea, make things happen and give traction to the opportunity. All business ventures are largely built around an opportunity identified. Similarly, even in the work place as an employee, by doing something extraordinarily well you differentiate yourself from the rest as someone dependable, a person who contributes qualitatively and is an asset in the corporate. Opportunities can vary in style and substance from cost savings, speeding up activities, discovering something new, to creating something unique. Think then act decisively must be the mantra to create the opportunity and make it work.

Persist – This is very critical task that is often overlooked when seeking opportunities. Pursuing an opportunity could be very exciting in the beginning but when reality sets in, there could be surprises, shocks, difficulties, pain and suffering; all of which can be daunting and dissuading. Yet it is persistence that pays in the long run. Persistence means giving yourself enough time and keeping patience. Occasionally though it could also mean deviating if required, dropping the plan for another or simply giving up to pursue a new opportunity. Persistence also means continuing to explore new opportunities for age is no bar, nor is experience or gender.

Try these:

Make a list of 5 things you definitely want to do before you die. Now create ample opportunities to make it happen. Update the list as and when you manage to achieve something from the list.

What opportunities do you see in the following situations?

You lose your mobile phone and have no money to procure a new one immediately

You have hurt your foot and are house bound for a month

You have to travel everywhere either on foot or by public transport for the next two months.

You have to look after an elderly senior citizen who suffers from Alzheimer’s, for over a month.

You have taken a ‘maun vrat’ (volunteered to keep silence / not to speak ) for one month.

Most of our problems can be attributed to either over confidence or lack of confidence. Our focus today would be on latter issue of lack of confidence, which essential has its roots in our poor self esteem. Self esteem is confidence in one’s own worth and abilities. Our poor self esteem could be an outcome of various negative influences, experiences and / or our own mindset. Constantly being criticized, facing a couple of failures, our inability to take risks, are some of the key influencers that dent self esteem. While we cannot completely erase the past, we certainly can take some proactive steps to ensure that we recognize our self esteem and build up on it to improve, contribute and prosper. The quick three step approach is as follows

Believing you can do it: The important thing here is to first have something to believe in. So it is better you have a clear goal and a plan to achieve it. When we attempt to set goals, the first hurdle we face is questioning ourselves if the goal is worthwhile, doubting our ability to attain it and constantly comparing the goal with other alternatives and / or with our perception of goals set by others. Setting goals that revolve around our passion, our talent, our flair and our motivation is a simple way to make a wish list. Once this wish list is outlined, translate them into goals with a clearly outlined strategy to attain it, being aware of your own efforts that would have to accompany your dreams to turn it into a reality and believing that you have it in you to make it come true. Your belief comes from your willingness to make the sacrifices that invariably precedes the reward, the confidence within you that you will take it to its logical conclusion and the drive and motivation within you to make it happen.

Believing you deserve it: While you may have a clear goal, an inner urge to push yourself to attain the goal and a very strong desire and motivation, what can possibly play spoil sport is your reluctance to acknowledge that you deserve the success you are aiming for. It is the belief that you are just as deserving as the next person to dream big and reach for the stars that sets apart the winners from the also ran’s. Every start up is based on this one key principle that you are as capable of coming up with a winner as the existing or future competitor. Every employee who believes that he deserves better is the one who makes the upward move either laterally or within the same organization. A realistic personal SWOT analysis would be a good spring board to launch your future, for that is when you put your beliefs to the test.

Believing you’ll get it: The initial period when you dare is often fraught with risk and confusion. Every small set back would dent your confidence and you begin to doubt if you will get what you crave. Almost everyone rushes in with enthusiasm but the sheer effort that is required to keep the momentum going is herculean and that is when one begins to falter. It is only the belief that you will attain what you have planned no matter what the cost, no matter what price you have to pay, that will energize you to keep going. A blind belief would not me of much use, but belief backed by appropriate action is the key. The belief that you will get it must appropriate trigger action and soon the near impossible begins to happen to us. Your belief is like the recharge in your mobile phone; every recharge boosts its ability to deliver each day.

Believe that you can do it; believe that you deserve it; believe that you will get it !

I just used the same principle to get my blog posts going; I can vouch it works !

With the Rio Olympics just around the corner, this quote is an apt reminder of the struggles, the hard work, the challenges and the passion that has driven the numerous sports persons representing their respective countries at the Olympics. For sure each of them started off with a Dream. When they march in the contingent representing their country they would have realized their dreams and the reality of the achievement will sink in when they participate in their respective event. As you read this, you too would be reflecting on various dreams that you have had and possibly wondering how you too can realize those dreams. As is obvious from the quote, all you need to do is to act on it… ACTION !

Accept the opportunity – If you know what you want, see yourself making the best use of the opportunity to attain it. For many, we have dreams but decide that the dreams are too unrealistic and so we let our dreams die without even attempting to give it a chance. If you can be genuinely passionate about your dreams, then you will make every effort to chase the dream.

Cling tenaciously to your dream. – There will be many who would chide you for your audacity to chase your dreams. There will be many who will try to dishearten you and create self doubt within you. You have to believe in your dream and cling tenaciously to it no matter what the price you have to pay. Yes, everything comes for a price and you have to be prepared to pay the price but what you get in return will be priceless.

Trust yourself – There will be times when you began with gusto and suddenly you were overwhelmed by problems and possibly you surrendered to them and gave up. Let that set back deter you from attempting again. Believe in your dreams, trust your abilities to be resilient and daring enough to pursue relentlessly. No one but you can lead your life; no one but you can realize your dream!

Innovate along the way – The dream always looks distant and the road to it long and winding. You would need to innovate and utilize all available legitimate means to be ahead of the crowd. You would need to take advice from the experts, rework your strategies, learn from competitors but all times be ethical and true to your conscience. Notice that many an athlete who used unfair means to improve their performance has come to grief. There must be both dignity and pride in realizing your dreams.

Overcome negativity – fear of failure is the biggest obstacle that prevents many a talent to blossom and showcase their talent. Criticism is another major negative emotion that can drive you to despair. Both failure and criticism are demotivators but they should not chain you to the belief that things cannot be overcome. When challenged you, you must rise above the negativity that it invariably injects in you. Falling down is not failure, failing to get up and go on is!

Next challenge – Action is not just single piece of activity. It is a continuous quest for improvement, for progress and for success. So once you surmount the initial hurdle, the next challenge must be embraced with equal enthusiasm. Those who manage to turn their dreams into reality have chased the next challenge and successfully conquered it.

Try these:

Make a list of excuses you have made for not attaining something that you desperately hope to. Analyze it and work out a plan to eliminate every single excuse and give yourself another shot at realizing your dream.

Make study of how you spend the 24 hours each day that you are blessed with. Can you eliminate some unnecessary waste of time, can you make some of your time even more productive, can you organize yourself better to ensure you group your activities to minimize time wastage?

What is the next big fun activity that you are planning? What is the next major task that you have which you have been postponing for a while. Put a deadline on both and get cracking on achieving both within the deadline set. No excuses please!

The one trait that energizes is the enthusiasm that a person exudes. Some people display that in their walk and poise, others in their speech and mannerisms and others through their serenity and insightful observations and comments. Energy is transmitted to those around and the entire environment is charged up. There is greater expectation, there is keen anticipation and certainly every one would benefit from the positive vibrations that emerge. It is essential that someone spark that environment with their energy. It is possible for each one of us to be the match that sparks the energy and lifts up the spirit, the participation and the environment around. To be that enthusiastic spark that energizes, be aware of the following.

Self belief– Unless you believe that you are unique, that you have a contribution to make and that you can make a difference to someone, it is impossible to transmit your energy. Without you feeling your own energy, it is not possible to let others experience your passion. Unless you begin to value your worth, appreciate your potential, realize your strengths and become aware of the immense influence you have on the world around you, you cannot have self belief. Value the appreciative feedback you receive, know that the thank you’s you receive mean you have made a contribution valued by someone and be aware of the energy others transmit to you when you interact with them and you will discover your self belief !

Inner spirit– While self belief gives you confidence, it is your inner spirit that will ignite your desire to utilize and channelize your self belief into tangible benefits for others. It will influence your attitude, encourage you to move out of your comfort zone and take risks, help you identify people and occasions that could benefit from your energy. You can let your inner spirit guide you by listening to your heart, your conscience and your deepest feelings. Simple things like listening patiently, being helpful to others in distress, the empathy you show others are significant indicators of your inner spirit.

Unbridled Enthusiasm – Your enthusiasm must be spontaneous, unconditional and in ample measure. You can discover this when you become a willing and active participant in all that happens around you. When you start contributing, when you share your thoughts and ideas, when you make suggestions and when you take the initiative you will discover that it is your unbridled enthusiasm that is motivating you to get involved with the goings on around you. Ever noticed how enthusiastic you become when you are watching your favorite sport or TV show. Notice how you are ready with a pen and paper to jot down the recipes shown in a cookery show? It is the same spirit of enthusiasm that will generate the energy within you that you transmit to others.

Passionate Motivation– Often your enthusiasm will flagg, your patience will wear thin and suddenly the spirit starts to droop. This is because you lack the motivation that is the hall mark of all successful people. It is your inner motivation that is more critical but the external motivation in seeing your energy being harnessed by others also acts as an injection that gives quick results. Your motivation is what drives you even when you don’t get immediate results, it is the flashlight that seeks out the openings in the maze of confusion, it provides you the reason to share every ounce of your energy. You motivation fuels your effort, it makes your efforts worthwhile even though you cannot see the results and it ( your motivation) is the only charger that is plugged into an omnipresent energy source YOU.

Try these:

Name 3- 5 individuals who you have personally met, who you feel are energetic, enthusiastic and impressive. Can you identify 3 traits / qualities / mannerisms that exude their confidence and effectiveness?

What are the various things you do / steps you take / preparations you make (apart from preparation of the presentation itself) when going to make a presentation?

From the following list, identify 3 which you believe you can work on, to make you even more effective, confident and energetic.

Better grooming

Improving your dressing sense/ attire

Working on your non verbal communications

Adopting better manners and etiquette’s

Improving your communication skills

Changing your style and adopting/ adapting a style of someone you admire

We find ourselves ineffective, fearful, tardy and complaining whenever we have to engage in an activity that we dislike, loathe or despise. Most times, the same feelings also preoccupy us when we have to do repetitive, boring and menial jobs. The reality is that every individual would have to necessarily put up with a variety of tasks, that fall into one or more of the above activities that are disenchanting and boring. Take any job; repetition and boredom are inbuilt into it because that is the very nature of life. Even in the animal kingdom, preying, hunting, procreation, protecting the young ones and survival is the cycle that is ordained for every specie. However the human race alone, sees their life cycle as a herculean task and a challenge. Ironically, this is because we are blessed with a very high degree of imagination, thinking powers and creativity which unfortunately we do not utilize well. Instead we prefer to distort the reality imaginatively enough to merely wallow in self pity. Life would be much more engaging, interesting and fun filled if we were to first accept the reality and then proactively engage with it.

To ensure that every day is a new day filled with opportunities and hope, look at life differently. Here is how one does it

Feel blessed to be alive to enjoy the day – Every living moment is a blessing. Once you make this realization you would value each moment. Your fears and frustrations will disappear once you realize that you are here for a purpose and that you are given the opportunity to contribute and succeed by being alive. So many die young never fulfilling their promise nor experiencing the joy of fulfillment. Others die old, yet without having made a difference in their lives or in the life of others. Each day you are alive is a blessing; each moment an opportunity and every action you take can be made meaningful.

Be happy that you have something concrete to do – Even the jobless have a task of finding a suitable employment. Those having a job have something to look forward to every day. It is possible that the vast majority of us are often disillusioned with their jobs, they are striving to do something more meaningful and rewarding. Yet the fact that there is something to engage you, is itself a blessing denied to many. Once we this realization is made, the present situation looks a lot more promising, fulfilling and rewarding. Many of those looking for a job fail to land one largely because of their own limited vision, partly because of their inability to identify and discern alternative opportunities and partly because of their inability to accept their reality that they are often striving for something they don’t deserve. If they accept their reality they would alter their thinking and redirect their efforts to more realistic alternatives.

Be aware that no task is menial; visualize yourself as an important cog – In most work places, the clerical staff are missed most when absent. They are also the most lowly paid, Does this not look abnormal. The reality is that the clerical staff may not be doing a job that significantly influences the business but they certainly are critical to the daily functioning at the work place. However, although their influence is significant, their presence is not recognized till they are absent. Their role is vital for smooth functioning on a day to day basis even though they do not have any long term strategically critical influence. When we analyze our own role there are times when we too will feel insignificant. Does it in anyway reduce or marginalize our role? In any committee there would be limited number of people holding office bearers position but it is the rest of the committee that gives direction and legitimacy to the office bearers. In any team there can be just one captain but each member is equally important to ensure the team does well.

Focus on doing the job well enough to make you proud – One reason we see ourselves as insignificant and unimportant is because we do not visualize ourselves as playing any significant role in life. It is important that we realize that every role that we play be it as a child, a parent, an employee or a retired individual has its own importance in influencing the world around. You set an example, you show the way, you guide by using your experience, you motivate with encouragement and you certainly are a glue to family and social ties. Once you perceive the importance of the role you play, you will accept it with open arms and then act decisively to ensure you play your part well.

Aim to improve, grow and rise in whatever your calling – Time takes a toll on every individual; it slows down reflexes, there could be health issues or it could be merely confusion about what to do next. Yet time does not take away your ability to contribute in whatever manner one can. With every passing day, we are enriched by our interactions, our experiences, our failures and our successes. We also learn each day and we can also share each day the knowledge we posses, utilize the experience we have gained and actively participate in a calling of our choice. This gets momentum once we accept the reality that we may not be as effective as we once were but there is nothing to stop us gamely contributing.

Experience the joy of a task well done – The motivation that drives individuals to contribute despite the boredom, the humdrum of everyday monotony and the repetitive nature of the work is the elation we get that we have done a good job. It is essential that we experience this joy, soak in the pleasure of doing an excellent job and seek motivation in continuing to script success daily. So age will not be a bar, health would not be an impediment, the extent of your contribution would not be a dampener for you have accepted the reality and have chosen to act to the best of your abilities. You derive pleasure from participation, contribution and

Try these:

Make a list of at least 3-5 things you want to do because you are passionate about it. It is possible that some of the items on the list seem farfetched to achieve because of your current physical, financial or academic limitations. Perhaps they seem farfetched because you have not really sat down to think and study it at length. Pick one activity out of that list and begin earnestly to get some tangible outcome. E.g. You want to be a magician. Find out about magic schools in your city teaching the art. Go to a library and find out books that teach you magic tricks. Ask friends and relatives about magicians who could teach you the art. Begin by mastering card tricks. Look up other resources on the net to get more inputs. Practice and master a few tricks and try it on your friends and family. Learn from the feedback.

Take inspiration from the following video’s of people who Accepted their reality and then acted to make the best use of their abilities. Click on the links to view.

Clarity of thought is a quality that is essential for every individual so that he /she can progress forward in the right direction. Unfortunately for a variety of reasons, individuals have always grappled with the problem of confusion, an inability to be decisive and worse of constantly looking back and wondering if they chose their path wisely. Most of our lives we have been told to avoid problems. In school one is taught to solve problems. Most of our adult life we are anticipating problems and seeking ways to avoid it. As a result the problem overwhelms us, we are hell bent on avoiding or solving problems and we are apprehensive of moving away from the beaten path lest we encounter problems that we have never experienced. So instead of exploring and discovering we prefer to gingerly and tentatively traverse on known paths occasionally daring to venture into some shallow waters. Our horizons are limited our growth is stunted and our sense of achievement is scaled down.

Today the startups, the youngsters having dreams of alternative professions and those leapfrogging from staid professions to dynamic alternatives are tribute to mind set change from problem avoidance to solution finding. Our training of being defensive and risk averse has actually prepared us to easily reorient our thinking into seeking problems and finding solutions. Instead of letting your mind constantly worry about the problem, let it now dwell in anticipation of finding alternative solutions. With this changed orientation in our thinking we allow our creative self to take over. Problems are merely irritants, solutions are there to be found and in finding the solutions you discover your potential, create something unique and possibly even build a new paradigm of success for yourself. Man’s inability to fly was a problem since evolution. Those who saw it as a problem and did nothing about it rationalized that we really didn’t need to fly and so came up with alternative means of transportation. The Wright brothers on the other hand viewed the inability to fly as a problem deserving an appropriate solution. Their aircraft crude as it may have been pioneered the aircraft industry later. The hot air balloon and the drones are also examples of how solution centric answers can become very effective.

We need to watch out for three impediments that could take away our focus from being solution centric

Fear of the problem – It is true that every problem comes with its share of anxiety. When we let this anxiety overtake our rationality we remain problem centric. Our anxiety increases with the passing of time and no acceptable solution visible on the horizon. On the other hand if we analyze the problem dispassionately, we would be able to appreciate the varied dimensions of the problem and perhaps even see various alternative solutions peeping from some corners. Pick up a newspaper and try to solve the crosswords or Sudoku problem in it.

Distraction due to anxiety – Before you attempt the above keep a personal time limit to solve the problem. Notice how you get more tense, distracted and frustrated that the time is running out. Your attention is now drawn towards the deadline rather than the problem itself. This distraction will take away your concentration. On the other hand if you focus on finding solutions you will get at least some answers by the time the deadline approaches.

Urge to disown the problem – Very often we just want to somehow get rid of the problem. If possible we try to pass it on to others. If not we try to find excuses for the problem still being there. Very often we try to find someone to blame for the problem. This urge to get rid of the problem, to disown the problem, to pass the buck is our way of escapism. It neither helps in getting a solution nor does it ease our anxiety for the problem persists.

Watch out for the above and immediately change your thinking to finding a solution and keep seeking alternate solutions till you have ample alternatives to choose the best one. Yes problems often come with many many solutions. Keep searching for the best one.