Paula Deen Sobs In ‘Today’ Show Interview: I’m Not A Racist

A distressed Paula Deen appeared on ‘Today’ on June 26 in her first interview since she admitted to using the highly offensive N-word during legal testimony. Watch Paula’s emotional explanation and apology.

Paula Deen was scheduled to appear on Today on June 21, but pulled the plug on that last minute — the same day she was fired from The Food Network. Now, in the midst of a dramatic controversy over using an offensive racial slur towards African Ameircans, Paula took on her first public appearance on June 26 to deliver a tearful apology and explanation.

Paula Deen’s Make Or Break Interview

Paula Deen On ‘Today’: I Would Never Hurt Anyone On Purpose

Paula sat down with Today’s Matt Lauer and explained why the media reports about her being a racist and using the N-word were taken out of context — and that she’s not the person she’s being painted in the media. Paula said:

“The main reason I am here today is, it’s important to me that I tell you and everyone out there, what I believe, and how I live my life. I believe that every creature on this earth, every one of God’s creatures was created equal,” she said. “I believe that everyone should be treated equal. That’s the way I was raised, and that’s the way I live my life.”

“I am here today because I want people to know who I am, and people that have worked beside me, have walked beside me, know what kind of person I am,” Paula said on June 26. “And I am so distressed. People that I have never heard of are now experts of who I am.”

When Matt flat-out asked if Paula was a racist, she answered definitively.”No, no I’m not, no,” Paula said.

She later said through tears that the people closest to her in her life are angry with the lies that are being spread about her.

“I have apologized,” the celebrity chef said in an emotional declaration. “I would never, never with any intention have hurt anyone on purpose, and I never would.”

Paula Deen Apologizes For Offensive Language On YouTube

On June 21, Paula took to YouTube to post a public apology to those she had offended by admitting to using the racial slur.

“I want to apologize to everybody for the wrong that I’ve done. I want to learn and grow from this,” she said in her apology video. “Inappropriate, hurtful language is totally, totally unacceptable.”

Paula Deen Losing Jobs Due To Comments

The Food Network dropped Paula from their channel on June 21, and they may not be the only ones. After more comments that Paula allegedly made — referring to her black cook as her “little monkey,” QVC also has “concerns.”

“QVC shares the concerns being raised around the unfortunate Paula Deen situation,” the network told E! News. “QVC does not tolerate discriminatory behavior. We are closely monitoring these events and the ongoing litigation. We are reviewing our business relationship with Ms. Deen, and in the meantime, we have no immediate plans to have her appear on QVC.”

Paula Deen’s Full ‘Today’ Interview Transcript & Video

Read Paula Deen’s Today show interview with Matt Lauer from June 26 below:

MATT LAUER:

You were gonna be here Friday. You basically said you were exhausted. You told me you were distraught. How are you doin’ today?

PAULA DEEN:

I was– I– it’s hard for me to even find the word, Matt, that I was feelin’. I was just overwhelmed. I– I was in a state of shock.

MATT LAUER:

Still?

PAULA DEEN:

Somewhat, yes. Because– there has been some very, very hurtful lies said about me.

MATT LAUER:

I wanna– I wanna get to specifics in a second, Paula. The difference between Friday and now is really on the business side of things.

PAULA DEEN:

Yes. Yes.

MATT LAUER:

But, now–let me just– Food Network says no more. Smithfield Foods said they’re severing ties with you. QVC, a big partner of yours, is weighing their options. Do you think you’ve been treated fairly by your business partners?

PAULA DEEN:

They– let me say this. Before we even get into that. The main reason I am here today, Matt, is it’s important to me that I tell you and everyone out there how– what I believe and how I live my life. I believe that every creature on this earth, every one of God’s creatures was created equal. No matter who you choose to go to bed at night with, no matter what church you go to pray, I believe that everyone should be treated equal. And that’s the way I was raised and that’s the way I live my life.

MATT LAUER:

One of the headlines –I read, Paula–said that there– you know– said millions of dollars at stake for Paula Deen in Today Show interview. So, are you here to express what you just said? Or are you here to stop the financial bleeding?

PAULA DEEN:

I am here today because I want people to know who I am. And people that have worked beside me, have walked beside me know what kinda person I am. And I– I’m so distressed that people I’ve never heard of are all of a sudden experts on who I am. And you know what distresses me the very most, Matt? Their words are bein’ given weight.

MATT LAUER:

Well, they’re having an impact, Paula–let’s stay on the business side for a second–do you think you’ve been treated fairly by the companies that have now distanced themselves from you? You are a cook, but you’re also a businesswoman. You’re the head of a brand. You understand–the bottom line. You understand image. Given the same circumstances, would you have fired you?

PAULA DEEN:

Would I have fired me, knowin’ me? No. I’m very lucky in this aspect, Matt. I’m so fortunate that so many of my partners that know who I am have decided to stand by me. QVC has not dropped me.

MATT LAUER:

They say they’re weighing their options.

PAULA DEEN:

Well, there’s– there’s only two that has dropped me. And I am so very thankful for the partners that I have that believe in me.

MATT LAUER:

Right now as we sit here, it seems to me an informal jury of your peers –and your fans and your critics and your business associates are– are weighing the question, “Is Paula Deen a racist?” So, I’ll ask it to you bluntly. Are you a racist?

PAULA DEEN:

No. No, I’m not.

MATT LAUER:

By birth, by choice, by osmosis, you don’t feel you–have racist tendencies?

PAULA DEEN:

No. As a child, I was raised in a home that my father tolerated bad grades. He would tolerate m– maybe me breakin’ a curfew. But he told me, he said, “Girl, if I ever find out that you have behaved in a way where you think you’re better than others, or have been unkind, your butt is gonna be mine.”

MATT LAUER:

All right. But you raised your right hand--and you swore under oath–that you have used a word that is the most offensive word you can use to describe an African American. And you’ve talked about this wedding, this wedding you wanted to plan, that plantation-style wedding, whether you used the n-word or not. So, how does someone–use the n-word, whether in anger or in a joke or in private, the most offensive word to African Americans and not be considered a racist?

PAULA DEEN:

Yes. The day I used that word, it was a world ago. It was 30 years ago. I had had a gun put other my head, a shakin’ gun, because the man that had the gun to my head, unbeknowing to me, was my customer at the main office.

MATT LAUER:

But didn’t you also–admit, though, that you used the word on other occasions?

PAULA DEEN:

No. No. No.

MATT LAUER:

So, you have– other than that one time–in the bank, a robbery event, you’re tellin’ me you have never used–the n-word?

PAULA DEEN:

I have–never. I never. They asked me in all of my 66 years on earth, had I ever used it. That man was so frightened that day he put the gun to my head because he was a customer at the main office. He was later caught. And I had gone out on a limb for him and gotten him alone. And he was frightened that I was gonna–

MATT LAUER:

So, reports–that you were asked in that deposition whether you had used the n-word on other occasions and said, “Probably,” or, “Of course” are in– are inaccurate?

PAULA DEEN:

No. I answered the question truthfully.

MATT LAUER:

So, you have never used the n-word, other than that one–occasion

PAULA DEEN:

No. It’s–just not– it’s just not a part of– it’s just not a part of who we are.

MATT LAUER:

Lemme ask you about this part of the deposition. We were asked whether– you were asked whether using the n-word in telling a joke was hurtful. And you said, quote, “I don’t know. Most jokes are about Jewish people, rednecks, black folks. I didn’t make up the jokes. They usually target, though, a group. I can’t, myself, determine what offends another person.” That last sentence gets me. “I can’t–”

PAULA DEEN:

And I can’t.

MATT LAUER:

“–myself determine what offends another person.” Do you have any doubt in your mind that African Americans are offended by the n-word?

PAULA DEEN:

I don’t know, Matt. I have asked myself that so many times. Because– it’s very distressing for me to go into my kitchen and I hear what these young people are callin’ each other. It’s very, very distressing.

MATT LAUER:

And you’ve never joined in on that language?

PAULA DEEN:

No. Absolutely not. It’s very distressing. It’s very distressing for me because I think that for this problem to be worked on, that these young people are gonna have to take control and start showin’ respect for each other and not throwin’ that word at each other. That– it is– it makes my skin crawl.

MATT LAUER:

I wanna read you something that Columbia Professor John McWhorter s– wrote for Time Magazine’s website. He is, by the way, African American. He write, “People of Deen’s generation can neither change the past nor completely escape their roots in it any more than the rest of us. They can apologize and mean it, as Deen seems to.

“They also deserve credit for owning up to past sins, as Deen did candidly, when she could’ve easily, shall we say, whitewashed the matter.” Do you ever wish, Paula, that when you raised your right hand and swore to tell the truth in that deposition that you’d fudged the truth? You wouldn’t have been the first person who ever lied under oath. Given the fallout that you’ve seen over the last week, do you ever wish you’d fudged the truth?

PAULA DEEN:

No. Because– there’s a couple of kinds of people that I don’t like that I am prejudiced against, Matt, and that’s thieves and liars. And I’ll tell you a conversation that I had with my seven-year-old grandson the other day. He had spent the night with me and I allowed him to stay up later than his bedtime.

And I said, “Jack, honey, you got– get me in trouble with Mommy and Daddy when you told them that I had let you stay up late.” And he was playin’ with my iPad. And he put that iPad down, and he looked up at me, and he said, “Ginnie (PH), I don’t tell lies.” That’s how I raised my children. That’s how I was raised. And that’s how my grandchildren are bein’ raised.

And I know– as well as I’m sittin’ here with you, I know how I treat people. I know my love for people. And I’m not gonna sit here and tell everything the I have done for– people of color. I’m not gonna do it. Somebody else can tell that.

MATT LAUER:

There are a lotta people who’ve shown up at your restaurant in Savannah to support you–the lines have grown. They’ve gone to Twitter. They’ve shown–their support for you there. Some have called for a boycott of the Food Network for the way–they have dealt with you.

PAULA DEEN:

Yeah. And I don’t–I don’t want that.

MATT LAUER:

Is your salvation in that core group of fans– can you rely on your base and focus, to use a political term, on that base and survive this?

PAULA DEEN:

I think that we can never underestimate the power of those voices. Because these people who have met me and know me and love me, they’re as angry as the people are that are readin’ these stories that are lies. These people readin’ the stories that don’t know me, they don’t know they’re not lies.

They have no idea. So, they are angry. And on that same coin, the people that know me, they are just as angry. And– I have apologized. I would never, never– and I can truthfully say in my life, I have never with any intention hurt anybody on purpose. And I never would.

MATT LAUER:

And there’s not another side of this personality that we see on TV, this– this warm–sugary, sweet, even sassy girl of the South? There isn’t a side of you–that is intolerant and, perhaps, views others as– as not equal?

PAULA DEEN:

No. No. You know, I– I– no. What you see is what you get. I’m not an actress. I’m heart broken. I’m thankful for my partner.

MATT LAUER:

Heartbroken why? Heartbroken for yourself or your–family?

PAULA DEEN:

Heartbroken–I’ve had to hold friends in my arms while they’ve sobbed because they what’s bein’ said about me is not true. And I’m havin’ to comfort them and tell them it’s gonna be all right. If God got us to it, he’ll get us through it. I’ve had wonderful support from Reverend Jackson.

(SNIFF) I’ve had wonderful support. And I tell you what, if there’s anyone out there that has never said somethin’ that they wish they could take back, (SNIFF) if you’re out there, please pick up that stone and throw it so hard at my head that it kills me. Please. I want to meet you. I want to meet you. I is what I is and I’m not changin’. And I– there’s someone evil out there that saw what I had worked for and they wanted it.

MATT LAUER:

Let’s end it on that. Paula Deen, thanks for bein’ here this morning, I–appreciate it.

PAULA DEEN:

Thank you for havin’ me–Matt. It means a lot to me and it feels so strange to come to this wonderful, happy place where I’ve always come so happy (SNIFF) and to have these people believe these horrible, horrible lies when all you have to do is ask the people around me.

PAULA DEEN:

Because I live my life the way I believe. And like I said, if you’ve never committed a sin, please pick up that rock, pick up that boulder, and hit me as hard as you can.

MATT LAUER:

We’ll end it there. Paula Deen, thank you. And we’re back right after this.

What do YOU think of Paula Deen’s interview, HollywoodLifers? Do you believe her apology?