One of the universal digital dilemmas facing modern parents today is how much screen time is healthy or harmful? This is a question nearly every parent I meet wrestles with, as we’re given such conflicting and inconsistent advice when it comes to screen time.

New Australian Guidelines

On 21st November 2017, the Australian Department of Health released updated Physical Activity and Sedentary Behaviour Guidelines. These revised guidelines have suggested physical activity levels, sedentary behaviour limits (including screen time) and sleep recommendations for 0-5 year olds. For 5-12 year olds and 13-17 year olds the physical activity and sedentary behaviour guidelines were revised.

From the outset, I want to be clear, there are no ‘safe’ or ‘healthy’ screen time limits that we can accurately prescribe, simply based on a child’s chronological age. The government guidelines I’ll share below are based on research and science, but they’ve never been empirically-tested. These guidelines are based on the displacement effect and research that excessive, inappropriate or premature introduction of screens can be problematic.

New, but old guidelines

The updated guidelines, particularly regarding screen time and physical activity levels, have been anticipated for a while. After the American Academy of Pediatrics released their updated screen time guidelines in late 2016 (where they scrapped a specific time limit for screens for kids aged 6 years and above and had a more relaxed approach when it came to introducing screens to young children), there was some expectation that Australia would perhaps adopt more relaxed guidelines too when it came to screen time. However, that wasn’t the case. (You can read more about the 2016 AAP guidelines here.)

The 2017 screen time limits (part of the sedentary behaviour guidelines) prescribe these limits when it comes to kids and screen time:

These screen time guidelines are identical to what was previously in place! The only major difference is the word ‘entertainment’ is used to differentiate between educational screen time (i.e. using laptop for homework) and entertainment purposes (i.e. social media, gaming, watching YouTube). Apart from that, the amount of recommended screen time has remained unchanged.

Updated Physical Activity Guidelines

As part of the revised Physical Activity and Sedentary Behaviour Guidelines, there are also updates to the recommended amounts of physical activity kids need each day. Just as it was expected that there would be changes to screen time recommendations, many child development and health professionals expected changes to the physical activity guidelines. And whilst there were some minor changes, the actual amount of time that kids should be engaging in physical activity has remained unchanged.

Many experts and researchers (myself included) anticipated seeing an increase in the amount of physical activity kids require, to combat current (worrying) childhood obesity levels and increasing sedentary lifestyles. That wasn’t the case.

The minor changes to the new guidelines (as compared to the existing guidelines) was:

Children / Young people’s physical activity should include a variety of aerobic activities, including some vigorous-intensity activity.”

“On at least three days per week, children / young people should engage in activities that strengthen muscle and bone.”

“More activity – up to several hours per day – is associated with additional health benefits.”

These changes were based on emerging research and evidence used by the Canadian, United States and World Health Organization (WHO) guidelines.

Whilst the amount of physical activity that’s recommended for Aussie kids from 0-17 years has remained unchanged, personally, I think we need to increase physical activity as we know that movement wires the brain for learning and is essential for physical well-being and has a range of cascading benefits too.

Updated Sleep Guidelines

The updated guidelines now state recommendations regarding sleep for 0-5 year olds. This is a great initiative, as I know that when I deliver parent and professional seminars, many of the audience members are unaware of the sleep guidelines that have been in place for some time. Stipulating these sleep requirements in this updated document for physical activity and sedentary behaviour is a wonderful idea to bring it to parents’ and professionals’ attention.

The updated sleep guidelines for 0-5 year olds are outlined in the infographic below. Please note, the new guidelines did not outline sleep recommendations for 5-17 year olds. This would have been an ideal time to include these sleep recommendations and bring them to parents’ attention. (In the infographic above, I outline the existing sleep recommendations for 5-17 year olds, just so it’s available in one image.)

My only concern with these revised guidelines, is that they don’t explicitly mention how screens can compromise the quality and quantity of sleep kids can accumulate (if you’re interested to learn more about this issue, click here). Screens can adversely impact kids’ and teens’ sleep habits and hygiene so I believe it would have been helpful to talk about setting up healthy technology habits around nap and sleep time in this policy document and suggest that screens are kept out of bedrooms and not used before sleep to reduce sleep delays.

For more information and to access a PDF flyer of the specific guidelines for 0-5 year olds, click here.

Why prescribing screen time guidelines are ‘impossible’

We definitely need to provide boundaries around how much screen time kids accumulate each day (otherwise many kids would walk around with their digital appendage permanently attached). However, I believe it’s equally, if not more important to also consider what, when, where, with whom and how kids and teens use screens. Rather than obsessing exclusively about how much screen time our kids are spending each day or week, we need to shift the conversation. We need to look at the bigger picture- how much is only one piece of the puzzle. We also need to consider the other essential factors to determine if their screentime fits in the healthy or harmful basket.

I’m concerned that if we fixate on simply quantify the amount of time kids spend with screens, we overlook other essential factors. For example, an 8-year-old child might meet the prescribed amounts of screen time (i.e. no more than 2 hours per day), but that time might be spent playing Grand Theft Auto (and 18+ rated game) and using Snap Chat (legal age is 13+ years) and sending text messages at 1 am in the morning. These are not age-appropriate screen activities, yet the child would be considered to have met healthy screen time limits. In this example, what and when a child is using a screen have been completely overlooked.

In another example, a toddler may be meeting the recommended screen time limits (i.e. less than one hour/day), but they may spend that time using the device before bedtime (and therefore compromising their sleep quality and quantity) and using the device in ergonomically unhealthy ways. Again, the toddler would have met the benchmark for what’s considered healthy or ‘safe’ levels of screen use, but when and how the child uses technology has been completely overlooked.

My other concerns with the updated guidelines

The revised documents suggest: “Unsupervised use of screens while a child is sedentary for long periods of time, can lead to language delays, reduced attention spans, lower levels of school readiness and poorer decision-making. This is due to the child’s reduced social interaction with parents and carers. Quality sedentary behaviour like reading, storytelling and puzzles support healthier growth and development.”

Unsupervised access to screens is both a concern for cybersafety and language development. True. Prolonged periods of sedentary behaviour is also a concern for kids’ and teens’ physical health. I totally agree.

However, I’m not aware of the research that shows that unsupervised screen activity and being sedentary reduces kids’ attention spans and results in poorer decision-making. I’d like to be made aware of these studies. I know there have been some studies that were found to be methodologically flawed that suggested that screens caused poor attention spans (but they simply proved a correlation between kids with attentional issues and screen time- but is it the chicken or the egg?). I’d also like to see the evidence to support the assertion that screen time lowers levels of school readiness (not because I don’t think that it’s true, but because this is a topic that causes great concern for parents and educators and we need to know the facts).

In summary, I believe the new guidelines can be a great starting point for parents and professionals, especially in regards to physical activity requirements and sleep for young children. They can provide ‘ballpark’ figures and some helpful goal posts when trying to figure out how much time kids and teens should spend being physically active and engaging in sedentary activities, such as screen time. Do I think we should obsess over these and attempt to abide by the recommendations, especially as it relates to screens? No, not necessarily.

All kids and teens have different tipping points. For some kids, 2 hours on a screen and you get the intense techno-tantrum and irritable post-screen behaviour. For other kids, that 2-hour limit is fine.

In my parent seminars, I talk about the need to ensure that screen time isn’t displacing kids’ and teens’ basic developmental priorities AND to look at what they’re doing with a screen, when they’re using screens, how they’re using screens, where they’re using screens and with whom they’re spending time online. Focusing exclusively only on how much isn’t the answer.

We’ve been inundated with expert opinions on young kids and adolescents using social media- when is it okay to introduce social media, how do we protect their privacy and how is it impacting on them emotionally and socially?

But what many of us have failed to consider is how we as parents use social media to share our children’s lives with others. This is sometimes referred to informally as ‘sharenting’.

Cameras are now omnipresent, with most of us having one built into our smartphones that we carry in our bags and back pockets. It’s now easy to snap a picture and then share it via social media. We’re using social media like we once used family photo albums.

Facebook posts, Instagram shares and Snap Chat videos of our kids are shaping their digital identity long before they’ve set up their own Google account.

Now don’t get me wrong. This certainly isn’t a post to induce guilt if you’ve decided to share pictures of your kids online. Nor am I suggesting that we should never post pictures of our kids online. (I love seeing kids’ pictures come up in my feeds). Yes, I’ve done the same. It’s a personal choice.

Instead, I want us to pause and carefully consider the consequences, potential safety risks and (powerful) messages we’re sending our kids if we archive every moment of our kids’ childhoods, or their private milestones via our social media channels.

What messages are we sending our kids about taking and sharing pictures of other people if we’re constantly snapping and sharing snaps of them?

Are we missing the moment if we’re so preoccupied with digitally capturing the moment to our camera roll?

Are there potential safety risks if we share pictures of our kids online? Do we even know where can their images end up?

Are we becoming the’ parenting paparazzi’ who snap and share huge numbers and sometimes inappropriate or insensitive pictures and videos of our kids online?

What are the ramifications of parents sharing their children’s images and information online?”

Sharing our children’s images and information via social media stays with our kids into adulthood. Many refer to this as their ‘digital footprint’, but I prefer to use the term ‘digital DNA’. Every photo or video has digital DNA. As parents, do we have the right to curate our kids’ digital DNA?

Many people suggest that the scaremongering around sharing photos of kids online is unnecessary. They propose that parents have long snapped pictures of kids and had photo albums filled with printed photos. What’s the moral panic about social media becoming the digital replica of the family album?

Whilst there are certainly benefits of ‘sharenting’ there are also possible harmful effects, which have gone unrecognised by many parents because we’ve simply been swept up in this digital whirlwind.

Benefits of sharenting

Many families now have family members living interstate and overseas and social media is an easy and practical way to share photos of kids and important moments. I agree.

With some of my family living in Canada I love seeing pictures of my niece and nephew on social media every now and then. I also love it when my brother sends me a photo via SMS or Whats App, but I also know it’s a lot more time consuming than it is to post a couple of pictures to Facebook!

There’s no denying that social media can be a great tool to help us connect with family members and friends who we don’t regularly see.

Potential pitfalls of sharenting

However, there are also possible risks associated with sharenting. Some of the main concerns relate to identity theft (privacy risks), digital harvesting of kids’ images on predator sites (cyber-safety risks), sharing personal information about your child that should remain private (psychosocial risks), and revealing embarrassing information that may be misappropriated by others (psychological risks).

It has been suggested that 50% of images shared on paedophile sites have been taken from parents’ social media sites. We lose full control of where our kids’ photos end up when we share them online.

There are also possible legal risks. Steinberg clearly articulates a host of legal implications of parents sharenting in this comprehensive documentSharenting: Children’s Privacy in the Age of Social Media.

As a mum and researcher in this field, I’m also mindful of the habits we’re subtly teaching our kids if we’re always snapping photos and sharing them online. Are we teaching them that they always need to be on show and performing for us? Are we teaching them that we need to digitally archive every moment of our lives? Are we teaching them that their sense of importance and identity is determined by the number of comments, likes and shares on social media? These are some of the powerful messages that we’re sending our kids.

Common Sense Media .2015 Feb 20.”There’s more to life than likes. Make room for #realtime PSA.” Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sClQsKuafO4&feature=youtu.be&list=PL1YCGfBa9BUbBzAcmcQz51KSDQfSQtsPe

Whilst I don’t have clear-cut answers to these questions, there are some things I know for sure…

We need to teach our kids, from a young age, that an electronic thumbs-up (digital validation) isn’t a placeholder for their self-esteem.”

We need to remind our kids that it’s unhealthy to hook their identity and sense of worth on external validation in the form of likes and comments. We also need them to understand that they don’t need to capture and share every moment via their camera roll- some moments can be stored to their own personal hard-drive (their memory).

The reason I think we’re grappling with this as parents is that we’re new to social media and we’re making up the rules on the fly. We excitedly shared our kids’ personal and embarrassing stories on Facebook and Instagram. It’s easy (and sometimes cathartic and cheaper than counselling) to share your parenting dilemmas and challenges online.

Why do we do it? Social media caters for one of our basic biological drivers- connection. We’re biologically wired for relational connection. So sharing a frustrating parenting moment, or an embarrassing story of our kids, or a cute photo can meet our desire to connect with other parents.

We’re also teaching our kids that it’s okay to share other people’s personal pictures and private stories (and it isn’t). This becomes the accepted norm. (This is why I’m hearing so many stories from schools and parents who are worried about kids who are embroiled in cyber-bullying or awkward online incidents where a child has shared an inappropriate photo of another child without their consent!)

I’m confident that most parents share pictures and posts on social media with their child’s best interests at heart. Sometimes, though I’m worried that we post and share in haste and without careful consideration.

What can you do if you’d over-shared?

If you feel like perhaps you’ve shared too much, it’s not too late.

// Sit down and give your child the opportunity to delete any embarrassing photos or videos.

// Archive any photos that you want to keep. Add them to a hard-drive or cloud storage. Then remove them from social media.

// Ask them permission to post in the future. This teaches them that they can control their digital DNA. This has the dual benefit of also teaching them that they must seek consent before sharing or publishing someone else’s DNA.

What parents need to consider before posting

// Permission to post

If your child is old enough to understand, always ask them if it’s okay to post an image before you post it on social media or share it online. My husband and I decided not to share many images of our kids and their faces on social media (this is a personal choice and I’m certainly not making any judgements about people who post lots of images of their kids online).

Sure, there are images that we both selected and I’ve used on my website and occasionally share on social media. Whenever I post a picture of my kids on social media I always ask their permission. Now my three-year-old is still so egocentric that he loves looking at himself given the chance, but my six-year-old is starting to be more discerning and has on occasion, asked me not to share a photo. It’s teaching him that his image is his own- it’s his digital DNA. This role modelling also equips your child with the skills to ask that someone not publish pictures of them. These are the basics of social media etiquette.

We also need to develop the habit of asking permission to post pictures of other people’s children. Many parents feel defeated when they find images of their children on social media, when they’ve made a concerted effort to not share images of their children. So always ask permission if you’re posting images of other people’s children. In some instances, there may be a court order in place that prohibits the publication of children’s photos online.

// Public vs private places

Did you know there are different laws regarding taking photos and videos in public or private places? Basically, you can take photos and videos in public places, so long as you’re not being a nuisance. With private places, people have the right to enforce rules. So always check that it’s okay to post images if you’re at a private place.

// Pause before you post

Kids can certainly be frustrating and embarrassing as times, but recording and then sharing those moments invades their privacy. I’m not suggesting that posting one funny picture of your child on Facebook will psychologically damage them, but what’s the cumulative effect when they look back at their childhood and realise what was curated and shared and commented on by others. Glennon Doyle in her book Love Warrior suggested that we “share from your scars not your open wounds.” When we post from our wounds we often regret it later on.

Also, ask yourself does this moment really need to be catalogued? What are the sacred, personal and private moments that you want to savour? Does the online world really need to know about every one of your child’s milestones?

// Privacy

Do you know who can see your photos? Check your privacy settings on social media and check these often, as they regularly change. You can change these so you have some control over who sees your photos. Remember, however, you lose full control over where your images may end up when you share them online. There’s no guarantee where your child’s photos might end up!

What other identifying information are you sharing when you take a picture of your child? Is their school logo visible on their t-shirt, or a street sign?

Is there anyone else in the photo? Remember, they may not want their image shared (or there may in fact be legal reasons from preventing their image from being shared). Is geo-location turned off? Online sharing of photos can sometimes reveal the location of where the photo was taken.

// Alternative sharing options?

Do you necessarily need to use social media to share your photos? There are other ways of sharing your photos of your kids without relying on social media. For example, Tiny Beans allows parents to share digital photos easily and privately via an app. It’s been described as an online photo journal. You could also use email, a secure online portal (that is password protected and requires authorisation to access) or even use multimedia messaging (SMS or Whats App) to share pictures with loved ones.

I completely acknowledge that this is difficult territory to navigate. I personally struggle to balance my drive to share our kids’ stories and family milestones and special moments, while still protecting their privacy and preserving the personal moments.

I’m not the fun police and suggesting that we shouldn’t share pictures of our kids. I love seeing kids’ pictures pop up in my feed (those baby pictures make me very clucky!). I think we need to be mindful of the potential risks, take preventive measures to ensure our kids’ pictures are safe and think about the powerful messages we’re sending our kids.

I think as parents we need to come up with our own personal policy about what we’ll snap pictures of and where we’ll share them (if at all).

One of the most important things I’ve realised is that we need to experience the moment first, capture and share later (if we choose). Not the other way around where we share and then think later (and sometimes realise we’ve missed experiencing the moment, or perhaps posted something in haste).

Why do our screens captivate us?

In an earlier blog post I explained the impact of parents spending increasing amounts of time plugged into our devices. It seems that we’ve become so focused on our kids’ screen-time that we’ve completely overlooked our screen habits.

After I deliver many parent seminars, parents confess that they thought they were the only one battling to put their phone down when their kids were around. In some instances, parents have admitted that they genuinely felt “addicted” to their device.

So many parents are relieved to hear why we find it so hard to go to bed without checking social media one more time, or while we arrive early at school pick-up and feel the need to reach for our phone.

Our phones and technology in general meets three of our most basic psychological needs and biological drivers-

// Connection- as humans, one of our most basic human needs is to feel like we belong and that we’re connected to others. Digital devices help us to powerfully feel this senses of relatedness. Gaming, social media and email all cater beautifully to our desire to feel connected. It’s also why we find it so hard to disconnect from our devices. Note, this is even more pronounced amongst those of us who are geographically or socially isolated. Our screens can easily help us fill the void of feeling ‘alone’.

// Control- as humans we like to feel like we have autonomy over a situation. And let’s be honest, raising kids means we usually have very little control over many situations. We’re responded to their (constant) demands to eat, solve sibling battles and repeatedly asking little ones to get dressed. Our digital devices enable us to feel like we’re in control.

// Competence- as humans we’re wired to learn and be effective. We want to feel like we’re successful and can accomplish things. Again, our devices allow us to feel competent. We can selectively choose what we post to social media. We can instantly seek information, when we choose.

There are other reasons why we find it hard to put down our digital devices:

// Dopamine- when we’re using our devices it’s usually a pleasurable experience and so our brains release the neurotransmitter dopamine. Whether we’re scrolling through social media, or checking our emails, it’s generally a pleasurable experience, so we crave more and more of it. So we naturally want to keep doing it! (Now you have an explanation as to why you love refreshing your Facebook feed!)

// State of insufficiency– when we’re online, we rarely feel like we’re ‘done’ or ‘finished’. There’s always something new popping up in our inbox. There’s always a new browser we can open, or a new TV series to watch on Netflix. (Confession, I experienced this state first-hand after a friend introduced my husband and I to Suits!!)

// State of flow- we also enter the psychological state of flow when we’re using our devices. This is where we become engrossed in what we’re doing that our concept of time disappears. So we may feel like we’ve been on our phone for 15 minutes, but it’s actually been and hour!

// Our brains wired for novelty– our human brain is wired for novelty. It’s always on the look-out for new and interesting information. And the online world so beautifully caters for our brain’s desire for new and interesting information. The online world is a sensory smorgasbord. There’s always new things to look at, read, listen to or watch. The offline world doesn’t offer this constant state of novelty and so we’re drawn to our phones. (This is why we struggle with boredom and white space now…we’ve become accustomed to constantly sourcing new information). We’ve become accustomed to being on and foraging for new information.

How can parents model healthy technology habits?

Now, as I said at the outset, I’m not suggesting that we abstain from using phones, laptops or tablets around our kids. That’s certainly not feasible, nor is it necessary. In fact, our kids need to see us using technology. But they also need to see us switch it off!

I’m not proposing that parents who use phones and tablets around their kids are “bad” parents. That’s definitely not the case. (I personally think that most of us are doing our best!)

But I don’t think we can ignore this situation. I don’t think we can collectively accept that because we’re all “doing it” that it’s okay. It’s not.

It’s critical, given that our kids will inherit a digital world, that we teach our kids healthy and sustainable technology habits. And this means modeling healthy habits ourselves… which isn’t always easy to do, I’ll admit.

So here are some simple strategies that we can implement to help us get a better handle on our screen-time (and not let it seep into other facets of our lives):

// Have social media hours– it’s so easy to get sucked into the social media vortex and spend hours scrolling through your feed (now we know why- we feel connected, competent and in control, we get dopamine, we enter the state of flow and suffer from the state of insufficiency). So we need to put a fortress around our social media time. Nominate specific times of the day when you’ll use social media. And then stick to them.

// Set up email hours– I know for many parents, myself included, that email is a source of angst. We feel like we need to respond promptly (and sometimes we do). However, in many instances, email can wait. Triage your email and only respond to urgent messages. Have set times in the day when you check email.

// Turn off alerts and notifications– one of the best things I did for my mental health was turn off alerts and notifications. I don’t need my phone constantly hijacking my attention by sending me information and vibrations. This tip alone can make a profound difference. And can I assure you from someone who used to worry about not responding within a set time period, the world doesn’t end if someone has to wait a couple of days for your email response.

BONUS TIP– if you only check email at a set time, or even on certain days, have this in your email signature or set it up as an auto-responder so people are aware of your boundaries. From my experience, people generally respond really well to people modeling healthy boundaries and it often encourages others to do the same.

// Compartmentalise your phone use- what’s stressful for you to do on your device, or when do you need uninterrupted time? Try and do these tasks at times when your kids are occupied. Try and only use your phone or screen around your kids when your phone tasks doesn’t require your full attention. Otherwise, if we’re doing stressful work, or our phone is demanding our complete, undivided attention we can get frustrated when our kids interrupt us.

// Plan digital sabbaticals– we recently went overseas on a long-overdue family holiday. I had significant time unplugged- not necessarily by choice but because I had international roaming issues (#blessingindisguise). And it was bliss! Try and find time each day, each week or even every month where you turn off phones and digital devices. Having a significant break from screens can be really helpful.

// Keep phones out of your bedroom- Many of us get sucked into the technology vortex first thing in the morning when we turn off our alarm and dive into email or social media on our phone that sits by our bed. My suggestion? Buy an old-fashioned alarm clock and leave the phone outside of the bedroom! Keeping bedrooms as tech-free zones is vital for our kids’ health and we need to model it too (research confirms that digital devices in bedrooms interferes with the quality and quantity of sleep).

// Out of sight, out of mind– many adults have formed a digital dependence. We have a moment of idle time and we see our phone and we usually reach for it and use it. So a simple strategy is to leave it out of your sight. Pop it up in the pantry when at home, leave it in the glovebox in the car when you’re playing at the park.

// Use digital tools– Ironically, there are apps that you can install on your devices that can help you monitor and manage your screen habits. In the Moment (iOS app)- tracks how much you use your iPhone and iPad each day. You can set daily limits on yourself and be notified when you go over. You can even force yourself off your device when you’re over your limit, or at specific times of the day. The Android equivalent is Quality Time and Break Free works on both iOS and Android devices.

// If all else fails…lock it up– This one sounds quite drastic, but if you really feel tempted to use your device, or if you’re trying to establish healthy habits, literally locking your phone away can help. I know this may sound quite drastic, but I’ve heard several families who went on a digital retreat where they had to hand over their digital appendages when they first arrived and they were locked in a safe. When the families returned home after their digital sabbatical, many of them went to Bunnings and bought a safe to lock their devices away at night.

I hope these two blog posts have encouraged you to carefully consider your screen habits. As I’ve said repeatedly my intention wasn’t to induce guilt but to simply raise awareness to a serious issue that we must address. This is one of the topic that I address in my signature Parent SeminarRaising Your Child in a Digital World. You can find out more about the talks I deliver to preschools, schools (primary and secondary), workplaces (as Lunch & Learn seminars) and at conferences (I speak to teachers, parents and health professionals).

Part 1- Are we spending too much time with our devices?

We closely monitor our kids’ screen-time. We fret about whether they’re spending too much time online. We worry about whether we’re introducing screens at too young an age. But have we stopped to think about our screen-time habits?

Is our digital infatuation impacting our kids?

Many of us are shouting, “Turn off the iPad!” from behind our iPhone. We’re tethered to our smartphone for the entire swimming lesson, or soccer training session. We’re taking our smartphones to bed and the dinner table with us.

Many of us (myself at times) are tethered to our devices and our kids are noticing (and imitating).

In my book Raising Your Child in a Digital World, I share a story of a 4- year old girl describing her father’s smartphone as a “dumb phone”, as she was upset that he was always talking and consumed by it and not her. She was 4 and had already observed his digital obsession.

I know how easy it is to use our phones when our kids are around. I also succumb to the digital pull when my kids are around (and don’t for a second profess to be perfect at this). It’s so easy to do.

Our kids think we’re spending too much time with our devices

A study commissioned by AVG found that 54% of kids aged 8 to 13 years think their parents spend too much time on their devices and 32% reported feeling “unimportant” when phones distracted their parents when they were playing outside, engaging in conversation and having dinner.

Common Sense Media also released a report in 2016 titled Common Sense Census: Plugged in Parents of Tweens and Teens. The study found that parents of tweens and teens spend an average of 9 hours/day with screens (the vast majority of which was for personal media use) and 78% felt that they were good role models to their kids. Another study by Common Sense media titled Technology Addiction: Concern, Controversy, and Finding Balance. It found that 41% of teens feel their parents get distracted by devices and don’t pay attention when they are together and 28% of teens feel their parents are addicted to their mobile devices.

We’ve also had children designing apps that would empower them to control their parents’ use of technology, so that they could spend more time with their parents. You can read more here about how kids designed a STEL app- stop texting and enjoy life app!

That’s right, our kids are observing our screen infatuation.

So why do we find it so hard to disconnect from our devices (yes, there are neurobiological reasons biological drivers that explain our screen habits)?

Now before you think this is a post to techno-shame parents I want to assure you that it’s not. I’m not suggesting that we need to completely abstain from using technology when we’re with our kids. I’m not suggesting that we need to avoid using our phones around our kids. That’s totally unrealistic and it’s actually not necessary. Our kids need to see us using technology, but they also need to see us unplug. They need to see us model healthy technology habits.

That’s why I talk to parents in my Parent Seminars about planning, not banning technology. That applies equally to our kids’ screen-time as it does to our screen-time.

I’ll be honest and admit that I’m nervous to share this blog post because I’d hate for this to be misconstrued as judgemental. I’m the first to admit that we never know anyone’s full-story so this isn’t about judging other people’s choices because there could be legitimate reasons why parents need to be using their devices when they’re with their kids. (In my book I share a sad story where a dad was publicly shamed on social media for using his phone at the park, when he was desperately trying to arrange childcare so he could attend a job interview.)

Why do we need to be careful of how much time we’re spending with digital devices?

// We’re missing the micro-moments with our kids-

We can be at football training, yet responding to a work crisis that’s unfolding in the office, thanks to email. We can be at swimming lessons, yet solving a family issue at the same time, thanks to instant messaging. But what’s the cost?”

When our child looks up at us through their foggy, water-filled goggles at swimming lessons desperately hoping to get a big smile, or a big thumbs-up to approve of the new skill they learnt, they’re often getting no response. Parents are literally glued to their screen. And missing the micro-moments with our kids.

Our previous moments of rest and white-space are now being swallowed by our devices. And we’re missing all the small moments with our kids or observing our kids (or simply giving our brains a break from constantly processing the stream of information that comes from our phones and digital devices).

I watched a baby in a pram the other day trying desperately to distract her dad who was consumed by his phone. After a couple a minute or so of trying to gain his attention, she eventually gave up. (Again, I’m the first to admit that I don’t know that dad’s full story- he may have needed a moment of respite, or he may have been dealing with a crisis with his family or at work). But he’ll never get that moment back with his daughter. What happens if this becomes a repeated behaviour? What will his daughter learn? What will she miss out on?

We can be watching our daughter’s ballet lesson, but simultaneously averting a crisis at work on our phone. However, we’re also missing her look at you for the smile of approval that she just remembered a choreographed move that’s taken weeks to learn. We might be sending an SMS to a friend at soccer practice, but you may also be missing your son look at you when he finally kicks the ball over the posts. You might be ordering the family groceries so your family actually has food in their lunch boxes this week, but you may also be missing your child master a new skill.

Sometimes, I think that we’ve simply allowed screens to seep into our lives. We’ve allowed our devices to fill the voids. Our screens now fill the white space we once had (and enjoyed and that our brains actually need). We’ve developed an unhealthy dependence on technology. A digital dependence. And I’ll admit that I’m not immune to this habit from time to time. Technology has a strong pull on our attention. And if we’re not careful it can captivate our attention and redirect it from our most important priorities.

Now I know some of you may suggest that your parents read a book or a magazine at swimming lessons or at football training and you’re not psychologically-scarred from this. And that may be the truth. But a smartphone or tablet is very different to a book or magazine. For starters, when we use a digital device we often suffer from a ‘state of insufficiency’. That is, we never ever feel ‘complete’ or ‘done’. There’s always something else that can come into our inbox, or we can always refresh our social media feed and find something else to look at. Books and magazines have a clear finish point. Our screens are also a lot more engaging than magazines, with their sensory smorgasbord they offer. A book or magazine rarely had the captivating pull, like our phones have on us.

// Safety risk to our kids-

In my book I report there are increasing numbers of Australian children presenting to emergency departments with playground injuries. Anecdotally, pediatricians are suggesting two theories to account for this increase in injury rates: (i) kids are spending less time outdoors playing so they lack the physical skills to navigate playground equipment and are sustaining more injuries; and (ii) parents’ digital distraction (resulting in children sustaining injuries from unsupervised play).

There are some reports that children have died or sustained serious injuries because parents are distracted by their phones. Our brains are incapable of multitasking. We can’t adequately supervise our kids and respond to email. We just can’t!

Again, I understand that sometimes sitting down at the park when our little one is finally ready to play and give us five minutes of sanity time it’s tempting to reach for our phone. Getting lost in the online vortex is sometimes more appealing than settling sibling arguments or fixing broken lego sets. I understand that sometimes we just need a break from parenting (yes, I’ve also snuck into the pantry and used for my phone for some much-needed sanity time!) and our phones are an appealing place of solace.

// Our kids are imitating our habits-

Thanks to mirror neurons, our kids are born to imitate us. This is exactly why our child copies our partner’s worst habits (never our habits of course!!). The research confirms that kids who come from homes where parents have a lot of screen-time, so to do their kids. No surprises really. Monkey see, monkey do.

There are some well-known exceptions to this rule. As many of you have probably read, Steve Jobs and other tech executives were reported to be low-tech parents. As Adam Alter writes in his book Irresistible- The rise of addictive technology & the business of keeping us hooked, “It seemed as if the people producing tech products were following the cardinal rule of drug dealing: never get high on your own supply.” (p. 2).

// We get agitated and frustrated

When we’re trying to type an email and our toddler is barking orders for a snack, it’s only natural that we get frustrated. When our teenage son is pleading for the iPad so he can do his homework (when he really wants to just game) and we’re trying to complete a report on your laptop we get agitated. We feel as though we’re being pulled in multiple directions. We feel like we need to be simultaneously in multiple places. And that’s exhausting!

It seems we’re always buzzing, receiving alerts and generally switched on. Thanks to digital technologies, we’re now always connected. This means that the lines of demarcation between work, home and personal lives are now blurred. This is physically and psychologically taxing on us.

Our brains aren’t designed to be constantly ‘on’. We’re constantly processing information. However, we need white space. We need time to enter what neuroscientists call ‘mind-wandering’ mode, where we daydream (and turn off our prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that’s responsible for all of our higher-order thinking skills like impulse control and working memory).

When we try and multitask (which is what we’re doing in these situations where we’re managing kids and devices), our brain cannot cope. In fact, we know that when we try and multitask our brain burns through glucose (energy supply) and releases cortisol (stress hormone). We also send information to the wrong part of our brain (the striatum) and not the hippocampus (the memory centre).

(As an aside this is what I explain in my Attention Pleaseseminar that I deliver to educators and students- to help them understand the costs of multitasking).

As parents, we’re grappling to balance it all. It’s draining. It’s often overwhelming. And it’s often our devices that are to blame.

A study confirmed this feeling. In the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatricsa study reported that parents are feeling the ‘digital pull’. When we use our digital devices around children it causes internal tension, conflicts and negative interactions with our kids. We often feel like our phones are managing us!

We become frustrated when we’re interrupted on our device. This is referred to as the “trickle down effect”. The human brain isn’t capable of processing kids’ demands and simultaneously reading incoming emails on our smartphones. When we feel compelled to pay attention to a work email—or look at news alerts, text messages, or a thousand other things that make our phones vibrate or ping—and our kids need our attention, we feel internally conflicted. In the study reported in the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics both mothers and fathers complained of three things: information overload, emotional stress, and a disruption in their families’ routines, all triggered by the constant presence of a phone or tablet.

Many children today spend their idle time staring at screens and not at the sky. Kids today are tethered to technology and as a result, many children are experiencing a ‘nature deficit’.

When kids are spending too much time with technology they’re not spending enough time in nature and this has implications on their development and well-being.

In his bookLast Child in the Woods, author Richard Louv proposes that our children’s technology-oriented culture is making it harder for them to spend time outside, immersed in nature. As a result, they’re missing out on many of the benefits nature offers. This has implications on their health, physical, emotional and mental and well-being.

Why is nature important for young children?

Time outdoors in nature is vital for optimal brain function. If children are constantly using devices their brains simply don’t get ‘down time’. They don’t get to switch off. And their brains (and ours too) need time to switch off.

Children need white space for their minds to wander. Children need white space to help them to process the information they’re consuming. Children need white space so they have the opportunity for creative expression.

But today’s kids aren’t getting enough white space. They don’t get the opportunity for their minds to wander because they’re often constantly processing information and input from screens and other gadgets.

Constant processing of information from digital devices is taking a toll on many of our children. We need to teach children how to unplug from technology and plug back into real life. And nature is the ideal way for them to plug back into ‘real’ life.

Benefits of ‘green-time’

Improved attention– the attention restoration theory* suggests that time in nature restores children’s ability to direct attention and improve information processing. There’s evidence that shows that children have improved attention after spending time in nature.

Depth of vision– there are anecdotal reports of increasing rates of myopia (nearsightedness) in young children, because of excessive time with digital devices. Nature provides the ideal conditions for children’s vision to develop, especially their depth of vision.

Mind wandering time– Professor Daniel Levitin** explains that the brain has an attentional mode called the “mind wandering mode” This mode allows thoughts to move seamlessly from one to another, and then to unrelated thoughts, without feeling like you need to direct or control the thoughts. This is brain state acts like a neural reset button, as it allows us to problem solve, come up with creative ideas and approach other tasks with a fresh perspective.

Time in nature switches off the prefrontal cortex of the brain where executive function takes place (this is where children’s higher order thinking takes place like impulse control and working memory). When the prefrontal cortex switches off it allows our subconscious to work and creativity and new ideas to flourish.

Have you ever noticed that you often have your best ideas in the shower or when listening to music or exercising? This is because your brain has had some white space for mind-wandering.

Dopamine release- Time in nature also helps the brain to release dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter. So encourage your child to go for a walk, run or even jump on the trampoline. It’s not only fun, but it’s also a great incubation period for thinking and creativity.

Lowers stress- Being in nature, or even looking at images of nature has been shown to reduce stress levels (which can in turn reduce cortisol levels). The theories vary as to why and how nature reduces stress, but possible suggestions include that time in nature is often associated with physical activity and sometimes social interaction which can both reduce the stress hormone, cortisol.

Increased creativity and cognitive function– Research shows that children are more creative after they’ve been exposed to nature. Furthermore, this recent research has also highlighted that daily exposure to nature increases children’s ability to focus and concentrate and, therefore, enhances their cognitive abilities (including problem-solving and other higher-order thinking skills).

Increased physical activity– Time in nature is usually associated with physical activity so there are obvious physical benefits too, such as lowering the likelihood of obesity (and reducing stress levels, as outlined above).

Better sleep habits– Time in nature, especially in the morning, exposes children to natural light. This exposure helps to regulate their circadian rhythms (so their body produces sufficient melatonin to fall asleep quickly). Time in nature helps to set children’s body clocks required for sleep, as their bodies learn to produce the right amounts of melatonin around sleep time so that they can fall asleep quickly and easily at night (and we all want that). Time in nature provides sleep-inducing amounts of natural light.

What parents can do to ensure their child gets ‘green-time’

Balance children’s screen-time with their ‘green time’– Children often want a daily dose of digital, but they also need a daily dose of nature too. Establish and enforce limits on your child’s screen-time. Some children and some adults too can sacrifice some screen-time to ensure that they get enough green-time too.

Encourage nature-based and unstructured play– children need at least 30 minutes of time in nature every day.

Model healthy screen habits– children are much more inclined to have healthy screen-time habits if we do, as parents. So model healthy habits and show your child that you like spending time in nature.

Schedule ‘green-time’– each week as a family activity (my boys have recently started going on a Gruffalo hunt in the local beach track and they love it).

In the comments below, I’d love to know how your family balances screen-time with ‘green-time’ What strategies have you found work well?

* Felsten, G. (2009). Where to take a study break on the college campus: An attention restoration theory perspective. Journal of Environmental Psychology,29(1), 160-167.

I talk to parents throughout Australia about screen-time and how parents can help their children use technology in healthy and helpful ways (and also minimise any potential risks). If you’re interested in having me speak at your pre-school, school local council or community group, Click here to find out more.

Dangerous Decibels: Are Headphones Harming Children’s Hearing?

We often joke that our children’s hearing may have been harmed because of all of the loud music that they listen to. But there may be some truth in this claim.

Noise-induced hearing loss is a serious and permanent condition. It’s associated with incorrect and/or excessive headphone use, or exposure to loud music. And we need to be concerned about young children’s exposure to loud noise, given that many children now regularly use headphones (and often at excessive levels).

The World Health Organisation (WHO)* estimates that 1.1 billion people worldwide could be affected by noise-induced hearing loss because of unsafe use of personal music devices including mp3 players and smartphones and exposure to noisy entertainment venues.

How do our ears work?

Ears convert the vibrations of sound waves into signals that our brains interpret as sounds. If ears are exposed to excessive sound pressure, it can damage the hair cells in the ears that hamper their ability to transmit sound to the brain. Consequently, this can result in noise-induced hearing loss, which is permanent.

What are the symptoms of noise-induced hearing loss?

Symptoms of noise-induced hearing loss include:

muffled or distorted sound

feelings of pressure in the ear

difficulties understanding speech

ringing sounds in the ear in silence (tinnitus).

Noise-induced hearing loss can occur as a result of exposure to one loud noise. However, it typically occurs because of repeated exposure to loud sounds over time. And this is why we need to be concerned about children’s use of headphones. They do often blast them to their highest volume and often on a regular basis. This could be potentially having harmful consequences on their hearing.

Anecdotally, audiologists confirm that they’re treating more and more young children and adolescents for tinnitus (ringing in the ears) and noise-induced hearing loss. The WHO is worried enough that they’ve produced guidelines for safe listening practices and many governments around the world are undertaking awareness campaigns as it’s recognised as a growing health concern.

Consistent use of headphones above 75dB can cause permanent hearing loss. What’s most concerning is that most commercial mp3 players can reach more than 130dB (contingent upon the model of mp3 player and brand of headphones used).

A child’s duration and exposure are important to consider.

Like many aspects of children’s ‘digital health’ we may not yet have a comprehensive picture from the research at this point in time (raising my hand here as a researcher to acknowledge that we’re slow in keeping up with the advances in technology), but we don’t want to wait until it’s too late and have compromised children’s hearing in the process. Again, this is why precautionary measures are essential when it comes to young children using headphones.

Tips for healthy hearing

Volume control– Show children how to adjust the volume on their headphones (ideally it would be below 75dB). Whilst it’s difficult to specify a precise decibel level on most commercially-available headphones, we can teach children about relatively appropriate sound levels. With some headphones and mp3 players we can use the settings to place a limit on the maximum decibel level on the device. Check with individual manufacturers as to how to do this.

Monitor time– Try, where possible, to limit children’s time to less than 60 minutes/day with headphones.

Use noise-cancelling headphones– Use ear-muff type headphones as these cancel some of the background noise, making it easier for children to listen to the music, without having competing background noise.

Are you worried about your child’s use of headphones? Do you enforce rules regarding headphones?

I talk to parents throughout Australia about screen-time and how parents can help their children use technology in healthy and helpful ways (and also minimise any potential risks). If you’re interested in having me speak at your pre-school, school local council or community group, Click here to find out more.

Is Typing or Handwriting Better for Kids?

As laptops and tablets become commonplace in schools many parents and teachers are left wondering if note-taking with paper and pencil will become an obsolete skill.

Do young children still need to learn how to handwrite?

As adults we’re spending less and less time scribing things on paper and more and more time typing and using screens and gadgets to record our ideas. In fact a 2012 study showed that the average time since an adult last scribbled was 41 days.

So whilst we might be doing less typing as adults, it’s still a really essential skill for our digital kids to acquire. I’m here to say we certainly shouldn’t be packing away pencils and rushing to pull out keyboards. Handwriting is still an essential skill in the 21st Century. Kids still need to learn to handwrite.

Is handwriting really different to typing?

The two activities require different cognitive skills.

When we type, we simply tap a key. It’s relatively the same cognitive process each time. The movement is the same, regardless of the letter. It’s a skill that’s often acquired fast and easily.

By contrast, handwriting is a much more complex task. It takes years to master (if we think about all the fine motor skills little ones have to develop before they even grip a pencil). It requires muscle memories to recall letter formations. Unique neural circuits are automatically activated when we handwrite. It mentally stimulates the brain.

What impact does typing have on children’s learning? Do they recall more or less if they handwrite?

A 2012 study showed that children who hadn’t yet learned to read or write demonstrated increased activity in three areas of the brain (the same three areas which are activated in adults when reading and writing) when they attempted to handwrite letters on a blank piece of paper. In contrast, those children in the study who traced letters or shapes with dotted outlines, or those who typed the letter on the computer showed no such effect. Their activation was significantly weaker.

Do children learn better when handwriting or typing?

Preliminary research in the area suggests that handwriting may be better than typing for students’ recall of information. The video below outlines the benefits of handwriting.

However, the research in this area is not clear at this stage.

The research confirms that handwriting is the superior option (especially for older children in secondary school) as it results in better retention of information.

The research tells us that when children type they:

// Recall fewer details long-term. Studies have shown that students recall more information from handwritten notes after one week, than they do with typed notes. It appears that handwriting stimulates more memory cues as you form a context for the writing.

// Take copious notes and record verbatim. This mindless transcription means that they’re not consciously absorbing what they’re writing. Students are much more selective about what they write when they handwrite notes.

// It takes them a lot less time to record their information (if they’re a speedy typist) as compared to handwriting. So the extra time required to hand-write the information may help with their memory consolidation and subsequent recall. Handwriting also creates unique motor memories in the brain.

// Are more likely to get distracted by other tasks that you can do on a computer or tablet.

But this may not be the case with younger children

It’s important to note that the available studies at this stage have looked at secondary and college students. This means that the findings may not be transferable to younger children. For example, younger students whose fine motor skills are emerging, or for children with additional learning needs, typing may free up some of their cognitive resources that they’d otherwise dedicate to handwriting.

This is called “cognitive automaticity”. So typing may in fact allow them to focus on the content of what they’re writing, as opposed to focusing exclusively on forming letters and fine motor skills.

So before we toss out paper and pencils, we need to still foster children’s handwriting skills, even in this digital age. Whilst we don’t yet have a definitive answer from the research when it comes to young children and the handwriting vs typing debate, we know that handwriting requires different neurological resources and it’s probably still an important skill.

Not only do we have to contend with the usual parenting conundrums (how to deal with potty-training, tantrums and defiant behavior), but we’ve now added another layer of complexity: technology!

Today’s children are leading “digitalised childhoods”.

Our kids are growing up in a digitally-saturated world. Their world pings, beeps and buzzes… all the time. And for many parents, this way of growing up is totally foreign to us.

And whether we elect to dunk them in the digital stream early, or we try to delay their “digital dunking”, as parents we’re constantly forced to make choices about we’ll navigate this digital terrain.

And this is hard. It’s confusing. And it’s overwhelming at times.

We’re Making the Rules Up as We Go

You see, we have no frame of reference as modern parents. We can’t revert back to our childhood and think about how our parents would have handled the “digital dilemmas” that we’re facing. They simply didn’t have to face these issues.

Typically, the biggest challenge that our parents often faced in terms of raising kids with technology was related to TV (or perhaps the Commodore 64 or the Walkman, depending on your vintage).

In the past, parents would use the threat of a TV ban as a bribe for instilling good behaviour in their children, “If you do that one more time, there’ll be no TV for a week.” Today, that same threat would have little consequence for our highly digital children. They’d probably shrug off a threat like that and think of the other digital devices that they can immerse themselves in, instead of TV.

We often can’t even ask our friends with slightly older children how they dealt with the “digital dilemmas” we’re facing, because chances are that they didn’t have to deal with the same issue we’re facing, even 5-10 years ago.

The Myths, Misconceptions & Misinformation

There’s no handbook or guide to navigating this brave new world in which we’re parenting. It’s brand new to us (and confusing). And we’re often just trying to keep our head above the water. There’s no time pause and reflect and think carefully about what we’re doing with kids and gadgets.

So we revert to Google and our confusion is further amplified. Do we believe the apocalyptic warnings that the media often reports when it comes to kids and technology? How can we make sense of all the information (much of which is misinformation, myth and misconception)?

It’s all so overwhelming.

As parents we’re supposed to also understand how to use the latest technologies with our kids, yet we’re scrambling to understand how we use our own smartphone. Mastering kids’ technology is new world to us.

It’s just exhausting thinking about this. No wonder we’re all bamboozled!

Even as a children’s brain and technology expert, I’m not immune to worrying about raising my child in the digital age. Sometimes I think I worry more than I need to (at least that’s what my husband tells me).

The Digital Landscape is Constantly Changing

Just when we have a handle on the latest technology our kids are interested in, along comes something new and shinier. Or they develop “techno-lust” for something else (parents battling Minecraft, I feel your pain). And we have to learn something else.

Our parents didn’t face these same complex and ever-changing issues that we’re facing. Parenting has never been easy. I don’t suggest that for a second. In fact, I think it’s one of the hardest jobs in the world.

But I also certainly don’t think it has ever been as hard, multi-faceted or dynamic, as what it is today.

And to further complicate matters, many of us are busier than we’ve ever been in the past. We don’t have time to pause and reflect on this digital landscape (our moments of deep thought are often interrupted by the ping of an email alert!)

So today, right now in fact, just pause for a moment and acknowledge that this is a damn hard gig. Being a modern parent is not easy. And you’re doing the best job you can.

We Want What’s Best for Our Kids

Most parents want to provide the best start to life for their children. It’s a universal desire that’s engrained when our precious baby is placed in our arms for the first moment.

But when it comes to technology, we’re not sure whom and what to believe.

Is it good or bad for them? What’s appropriate? How much is too much? Am I leaving them behind if I don’t dunk them in the digital stream from an early age? Or should I delay introducing and using technology with them- they’re only a child once, right?
And on and on the list goes.

If we’re to believe the media headlines, then we’d be unplugging the TV and banning the iPad. But the research often tells us that children can and do benefit from technology.

I want to help you figure out this digital world in which you’ve been thrust. I want to arm you with evidence-based information about how technology can be used in helpful and healthy ways. I want to alert you to its potential harmful effects (and I fully acknowledge that there are many of these inherent dangers if it’s not used appropriately). I want to empower you to make confident and informed decisions about how you’ll use technology (or perhaps avoid it) with your children.

And so I have BIG plans for 2015. I want to check that I’m supporting modern parents in the best way possible.

So I need some help. You can help me in one of four ways (pick what’s easiest for you):

1. Leave me a commentbelow and tell me what you are concerned about when it comes to raising kids in the digital age. What do you want to know more about? What is the best way I can deliver this information to you (short videos, PDFs, mp3 files, emails)?

2. Let’s have a “real” chat on Skype. I’d love to chat, via Skype with parents of children aged 0-12 years of age. I want to know what worries you about raising kids in the digital age. What do you want to know more about? What information are you seeking? It would only take around 20 minutes of your (very precious) time. In return, I’d be willing to spend another 20 minutes helping you to solve one of your problems that you’re currently facing in terms of raising your child/children in a digital age. So all up, we’d jump on Skype for about 40 minutes for a chat. If you’re interested, please click here to schedule a time.

3. This one’s a bit of fun. Leave me a voice mail, using Speaker Pipe. Simple click the link and record your voice. It can’t be longer than 90 seconds, so if you’ve got lots to say, leave me a couple of different messages.

4. Send me an email (kristy@drkristygoodwin.com). Let me know what you want more information about when it comes to raising kids in the digital age. How do you like to access this information (short videos, audio, blog posts, PDFs).

Thank you so much in advance for any help you can offer. I’m so passionate about arming parents with practical and digestible information. I want to help you navigate this digital terrain with clarity and confidence.

The first Appy Kids, Appy Parents Workshopwas held on Saturday 23 August at the gorgeous South Curl Curl Surf Lifesaving Club, on Sydney’s Northern Beaches. A group of parents and their enthusiastic pre-schoolers attended the workshop to learn more about healthy, safe and even educational ways to use iPads.

I decided to offer the workshop after chatting with lots of parents who expressed concern about their little ones using iPads.

Is it okay for pre-schoolers to be using iPads?

What are the best apps for pre-schoolers?

Are they just playing or can they really learn with iPads?

How much time should they be spending with iPads?

Thee problem is there is so much misleading information out there for today’s parents when it comes to iPads and young children. So I decided to create a practical workshop that addressed today’s parents’ concerns about iPads and their little ones. A workshop that would separate fact from fiction. A workshop that educated parents (not made them feel guilty). A workshop that was fun!

There was a distinct conversation I had with another mum at the local playground that cemented my decision to design and deliver a workshop where parents attended with their little ones. She explained how guilty she felt about letting her three year-old use her iPad every now and then, even though she had a hunch that it might be beneficial for her daughter. She disclosed that she normally told her friends that her daughter didn’t use the iPad because she was riddled with so much guilt. We need to ditch this techno-guilt once and for all!

And that’s how the Appy Kids, Appy Parents workshop was conceived.

I decided on a practical workshop for parent with their children (and their iPads) because I thought that this was the best way to showcase how beneficial these devices can be for young children, when they’re used appropriately. I also wanted parents to see how their children responded to specific types of apps, not just the drill-and-skill, rote-learning apps that dominate the children’s section of the iTunes App Store.

I’m also acutely aware of how time-poor many parents are, so I thought a practical workshop with their children was a great way to spend quality time with their little ones and also increase their knowledge when it comes to parenting in the digital age. Win win. (I also knew that some parents would feel more comfortable in a practical workshop if their IT support team was there with them- i.e. their pre-schooelr.)

So when the workshop venue (that happened to be at one of my favourite places in the world) unexpectedly became available (I’d enquired earlier and the only bookings were for late October) I knew that it was time to jump and offer the workshop.

And I’m so glad that I did!

The workshop was conducted over two hours, with plenty of off-screen, hands-on activities for the children. A scrumptious morning tea was also enjoyed (prepared by my super-talented mother-in-law). There was lots of healthy treats to fuel the developing brains (and hungry mums who were ever-so-grateful not to cook).

The workshop started with a practical task, where the children drew a picture and simultaneously recorded their voice. This was a great way to break the ice and to also highlight how the iPad can be a great tool to encourage little ones to use language skills (which is critical for their brain development).

Next, the little ones had some screen-free time where they constructed playdough models and read a book with Jan. Their playdough creations were transformed into a speaking photo in a later part of the workshop.

Whilst the children were happily occupied I spoke to the parents about “secret parents’ business”. I showed the parents how to set up various Parental Controls on their iDevices. One of the most important tips that I shared was all about preventing ‘appcidents’ (accidentally making expensive in-app purchases and/or deleting apps). I also showed parents how to ‘lock’ children into apps using Guided Access and how to set the device’s timer to prevent ‘techno-tantrums’.

The morning continued with parents spending a lot of time exploring a range of quality apps with their little ones. Thanks to our workshop sponsors, Nosy Crow,Shiny Things and Tiny Twiga Studiosthe children enjoyed a range of free apps with their parents, as well as other apps which they’d downloaded before the workshop.

In the space of two hours the parents and children created a talking artwork, recorded a talking photo, made digital robots, followed a series of yoga moves, made their own multimedia flashcards, read some book apps, gave themselves a crazy hair u part wigs cut and cooked a cake. And there was no mess to pack up.

But best of all, the parents could see first-hand just how beneficial the apps were for their child’s learning and development. The parental guilt and confusion was replaced with excitement and knowledge.

These parent comments perfectly convey this:

“You leave feeling that you are educating them and know what to say to parents that look down on you.”

“I now know what to look for when choosing apps and learnt how to use the iPad to interact with my child.”

“It was genuinely useful and fun. Some fab tips. J I think you may have changed my life with the timer trick- hooray!”

“It was spot-on with information parents need to make this new technology work for families. Absolutely loved it!!!!”

I couldn’t have asked for a better start to these hands-on workshops. I now plan on delivering elsewhere (and yes, Australia-wide in 2015 hopefully). The children participated enthusiastically and the parents were engaged and asked some great questions. It really was a great morning. I was thrilled to be able to share this important information, tips, tricks and tools with the people who matter most- parents.

I’ve had a few enquiries already about my next venue and I hope to finalise this soon. Details will be available here on my website.

However, if you have a group of parents who are interested in this workshop then I can deliver it at your home, or your pre-school, or childcare centre, school, church. If you’re interested click here or leave a comment below and we’ll look into the logistics of organising this for you. Minimum numbers apply.

As a parent you want your children to be proficient using technology. You know it’s here to stay. The iPad isn’t going to disappear. Your children are going to inherit a digital world. So a part of you wants them immersed in this digital world.

And if we’re really honest sometimes technology provides us as parents with a much-needed break. It can be a sanity saver.

Now I’m not suggesting that we use technology as a digital babysitter or digital pacifier all of the time. That certainly isn’t what I advocate (or do). We also need to be really careful and intentional about how we’ll use technology with little ones.

But sometimes you just need to make a phone call without interruption and you know that a Sesame Street episode is more likely to sustain your three year old’s attention for 30 minutes, than a colouring-in book or pile of blocks.

However, there’s a flipside.

Sometimes when you hand over your iPhone to your child you worry. You worry about how much time they spend with digital devices. You worry about whether they are simply playing or whether they can actually learn with all of these supposed ‘educational’ apps and TV programs. You sometimes feel guilty about allowing them to use technology (I like to call it ‘techno-guilt’).

Today’s parents are worried about their children leading digitalised childhoods.

Aghhh! Parenting is a tough gig. But parenting in the digital age… well it’s confusing and complicated. It’s a whole new world.

And to further complicate matters we’ve no frame of reference for what a ‘digitalised childhood’ should look like. We didn’t grow up in a digital world.

We can’t ask our parents* or our grandparents about how they handled a similar situation (although sometimes we get lots of unsolicited ‘advice’ from well-intentioned people telling us that “All TV is bad for children.” Or “iPads are dangerous for little ones.” Just so you know, both statements are not founded in research and in actual fact we have some research that suggests that the opposite is true). We can’t think about how our parents dealt with a similar situation when we were growing up.

We’re navigating this digital terrain for the first time. We’re the first generation of parents who are raising complete digital natives.

But the good news is that I’m here to help you. I’m on a mission to help today’s confused and concerned parents navigate young children’s digital world.

I’m a children’s technology and brain researcher (and a mum!) and I translate the latest research about how young children learn and develop in a digital age into practical ideas and strategies for parents.

I don’t necessarily have all of the answers about raising digital children. But I am in the thick of it myself as a mum. I can provide you with evidence-based information and research (not hype) so that you’re empowered to make informed choices about how you’ll use technology with your little ones at home (or perhaps avoid it).

So I guess you need to know, what’s my position on young children and technology?

I believe that we need to embrace technology and find healthy, safe and even educational ways to leverage it so that we can support, not stifle young children’s learning.

The digital genie is out of the bottle. Ignoring it or banning it is not the solution.

And in actual fact, we don’t need to ignore or ban technology when it comes to young children (perhaps for babies and toddlers, but that’s a whole other post).

We’ve a growing body of research that confirms that young children can and do learn with technology. And parents need to have access to this information (which is how I can help).

Sure, technology use with little ones has to be developmentally-appropriate and intentional. It also has to be used for appropriate amounts of time and part of a balanced approach to childhood. Technology should not replace real interactions, the ‘cardboard box experience’ or hands-on play and exploration.

But parents need to know that young children can benefit from technology.
However, this information is rarely communicated to parents. Instead, the media headlines frequently declare that technology’s detrimental to children.

“Toddlers Becoming So Addicted to Screens They Require Therapy”

“Violent Video Games Makes Children Grow Up Aggressive Adults”

“Toddlers Watching Three Hours of TV a Day”

Instead, I’m passionate about helping parents figure out the best (and safest) ways to use everyday technologies like iPads, TVs and video games with their children, as part of a balanced approach to raising a digital child.

I want to eradicate parents’ (unnecessary) techno-guilt and confusion. We’ve enough to worry about as parents without adding technology to the mix. I’m here to help you.

*This is the perfect time to say a HUGE thanks to my amazing mum, who reads this blog. She has taken hundreds of calls and frantic text messages from me (even an audio recording of my baby making strange sounds so she could diagnose it as a normal baby grunting sound) over the years to help me make sense of this parenting gig. Thanks Mum! xx

In the comments below, I’d love for you to share what you worry about when it comes to young children and technology? I’d love to be able to share some more posts that will help you navigate young children’s digital world.