Friday, January 8, 2010

W.A.S.P.

Some bands are retarded, some bands are calculating ... make no mistake, Blackie Lawless is a businessman in the Gene Simmons tradition, but I have to admit to falling for the W.A.S.P. schtick hard back in 1984 after buying the 12" import single of this then-daringly titled song. I plead inexperience with huckster culture. I saw them open for KISS (post-makeup) at the Lansing Civic Center in 1985 and it was an important night for me. After smoking a joint with my pal Ken Kain, I saw the whole heavy metal experience through new eyes ... at one point ol' Blackie turned around and I realized not only did he have the cheeks cut out of his leather pants, but that he was probably as old as my high school teachers as well. This struck me as so hilarious that I couldn't stop laughing for the remainder of their set, and as a result I ended up enjoying the show far more than I would have as the true metal believer I was when I walked in the room. I've had a different attitude toward rock and roll in general ever since ... as important and life affirming as pop music might be, never forget that it's all a big fuckin' joke. If you can manage that, you'll have a lot more fun and be less of a tool.

Later that night, Kiss sucked all the pleasure out of the room with their empty, airless "rawk," and a guy tried to punch me in the face because he thought I was trying to bang his girlfriend. Dude, she was perched on my shoulders so she could see the stage, I swear, that's all!