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The information below is taken from incident reports from the Bryan County Sheriff’s Department and Richmond Hill Police Department:

Matter of recordWell, jeez. Maybe it’s the heat, or the humidity. First, a Richmond Hill Police Department officer was sent to a home around 5:40 p.m. May 6 regarding “an unwanted person refusing to leave.”The officer met with the complainant, who was mad that his mother had come to his home upset at him. Here’s what the report said:“(Complainant) explained that his mother … came to the residence and was upset. (Mother) was accusing (complainant) of using her Kroger Points Card in an effort to gain cheaper gas. (Complainant) explained this was simply not true. (Mother) began screaming in the yard, making false accusations and disturbing the peace in the neighborhood. “After many attempts to tell her to leave — to no avail — (complainant) called 911 to have her removed. (Mother) was gone on officer’s arrival. (Complainant) was explained the process of obtaining a restraining order, prohibiting future contact.”Second, an RHPD officer was sent May 8 to a home to take a report of damaged property. There he met with a man “whom stated he believes his neighbor ... may be driving their vehicle in his yard.” The complainant said he hadn’t seen the neighbor drive on his yard “but feels confident they are the culprits.”The neighbor, you see, drives a moving truck and “when he backs it into his driveway he ends up driving on the edge of his yard, causing tire ruts,” the report said. The complainant said he wanted the incident reported “so if the problem continues he will have the incident documented.”The officer went to talk to the neighbor, who wasn’t home. The neighbor’s father was, though, and the officer noted, “I left a message with his father to be more mindful when backing the truck into their driveway.”

ShopliftingIf you’re gonna go, go big. Or maybe not. A convenience store clerk in Richmond Hill reported Sunday she saw a man and woman swipe two pecan pies “valued at $1.09 each.” She gave a Bryan County Sheriff’s Department deputy the make and model of the car they left the store in. The deputy ran the tag, but couldn’t find the vehicle after searching the area.

TheftA South Bryan man went to the Richmond Hill office of the BCSD on Saturday to report someone stole stuff out of his truck on May 2 “while it was parked in his driveway and unsecured.” What was taken?“Three boxes of outdoor decorative yard lights,” and “miscellaneous tools such as wire cutters and screwdrivers…” the report said. The man said he’d “been walking the area looking in yards to see if someone had put the solar yard lights in their yard, but he has not been able to locate them.”The man wanted a report on file in case there are more incidents in his neighborhood, he told the deputy, who obliged.

Matter of recordThis Richmond Hill Police Department incident report sums up everything that is wrong with our society in about 300 words. Or maybe not, but it’s still messed up. Read on. An RHPD officer was sent to the station to take a report of harassment from a teen who said she’d “been receiving phone calls from someone impersonating an IRS agent.”The teen told the officer “the false agent stated that she owed back taxes in the amount of $1,000.” The woman went on to note “the false agent had an attitude and when he spoke with her mother, he called her a ‘(name that rhymes with witch).’” the report said. The teen said she hung up, but the man called back a few minutes later and after learning she was 19 began to “request sexual favors,” and worse. The teen hung up and went to RHPD, gave them the number and he called. The officer called the number and spoke with a man “but when spoken to, he only stated that he hadn’t done anything wrong and refused to let me speak.” The incident was documented.Note: A quick check of the caller’s number on the website whocallsme.com shows he’s been busy trying to con people into thinking they owe money to the IRS. As if really owing money to the IRS isn’t bad enough.