A MapleStory from a Lvl 2X Swordsman

I’m told that MMORPG players act out the deepest instincts suppressed inside the id in-game. I guess that says a lot about me.

I’ve always wanted to be a lumberjack. Just a simple axe wielding,
tree chopping, lumber felling person, just like in the old days. It has
been my dream since I was a wee little kid.

People grow up wanting to become a doctor, a lawyer or an engineer.
I’ve always known what I wanted to do when I grow up – chop trees.

Unfortunately, my dad had different plans. Chopping trees cannot
earn money, he said. Chop tree people look down on you, he said. Thus,
he sent me for an overseas education when I was 15 to quell this “tree
chopping fantasies” of mine.

…but I did not waver from my True Purpose (TM) in life. I secretly
chopped trees (and sometimes people when trees are scarce) in New
Zealand. I started out with small shrubs, and graduated to tree
branches.

Alas, I was sent back when the tree chopping shenanigans of mine came to light.

However, I was not to be stopped. I went to Australia to do my college and uni and started chopping trees again. I even bought an axe [sixthseal.com] early on in the blog.

I started my activities with earnest then. I started secretly
twisting branches off larger trees and chopping small trees in the
middle of the night. I also plucked mushrooms if I needed a quick fix.
I was soon graduating to large trees and when I came back to Malaysia
to work, I started moonlighting as a tree chopper, venturing into DBKL
protected tree plantations to chop trees. FELDA settlements are also a
frequent hangout, since I also enjoy chopping palm oil plants
occasionally.

I ventured into virgin rainforests when I came to Kuching to chop
timber trees with earnest (at night, of course). I even earned a
moniker for my actions.

They call me the Mysterious Midnight Tree Massacre.

However, one fine day, I was arrested and thrown into jail for
chopping trees. They said I needed a timber permit. My place was raided
and all my tree chopping equipment and miscellaneous lumber was
confisticated. I was filed with criminal charges of possession of
timber without a permit with a court case pending. I was let out on
bail several days later, despite the regulation two week minimum remand
time on one condition:

I was not to chop trees or speak of it anymore.

Filled with resentment, I started playing MapleStory [maplesea.com] and chopped virtual trees.

(I also chopped real trees sometimes, but don’t tell anyone)

There is no Bigfoot. I took a personal trip to Johor a couple of
weeks ago and the trees uprooted themselves in sheer terror and started
to walk, leaving those huge prints on the ground.