I just read an Abraham Hicks quote that “the best thing you can give someone is your happiness.” A timely reminder of an easily forgotten obvious truth.

This is especially relevant for me at present, as my partner and I will be living apart for 2019, in different continents, and I feel very sad about that. We are both clear that we need to be in different places for the time being, but this clarity does not defeat the sadness and loneliness that weighs on me, at least not yet. It’s an evolution, day by day.

My mission is to feel, embody and live my happiness, even without his divine presence in my daily life. I love him profoundly and that has not changed. The love is present, just not shared daily rhythms of life, the hand to hold or shoulder to lean on. God, I miss him.

I am the butterfly and the empty space.
I possess deep knowing and I know nothing.
I am the sun in my heart.
I am the water in my tears.
I am the blood of my moon.
I am the wind beneath my wings.
I am the Earth under my feet.

If you’re in the Bay Area, think of me when you gather.

Love your sister in magic, xo Jena

Who could have foretold that Sacha Nielsen, AKA DJ Deadbeat Dad, would abandon Our Lady of Insurance Fraud, only to take up with another woo goddess on another continent? Was the marriage a sham all along? Did the “musician” and cacao master only want a green card?

Not to worry! Like Gloria Gaynor, Jena will survive:

Poetry to help make sense of our current physical separation. I feel a bottomless anguish that I am trying to dissolve with dance and music. I pray for strength to navigate the distress in my heart.

“You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

Something oh-so-familiar is happening in Donkville. A few days ago we posted about Alex Marson’s IG account, which found the good doctor following several underwear models. Lo and behold, some changes have been made, first to Dr. Dodi’s cover fauxto:

He is still following 18 people, but no longer nubile, barely clad models and two of those new names are Barack Obama and Julia Allison – is this just a coincidence, given that Donk could have been Obama’s speechwriter? In addition, we’re now being treated to three snaps of Dodi and Donkey, and those snaps, posted four hours ago, have only been liked by one Mulia Mallison.

Is Donk directly responsible for the sudden changes to Dodi’s account? Or did she cajole him into making these changes? “If you really loved me … ” One thing is certain: she NEVER reads here.

Kristina Block, wife to Donkey’s first dirtfest DJ, Avocado, is a model, dancer, performance artist, conscious movement facilitator – whatever the hell that is – and founder of Mindful Models, “a social movement that celebrates diversity, cultivates mindfulness and catalyzes leadership in the modeling industry.” In other words, a handful of professional models with ties to the woo community who are attempting to be relevant. These women are setting the world on fire:

Looking to find her purpose in life, Kristina left her native Russia in 2012 and moved to Bali. She then made the trek to New York City in 2012 and hooked up with Avocado, marrying him at Burning Man and obtaining that all-important green card.

Though Kristina knows she has it all – looks, talent, smarts, ambition, a woo rolodex, and two homes, one in Brooklyn and a new one in Boulder, PAID for by her appallingly unattractive husband’s parents – she sometimes experiences moments of doubt:

Oh, the humanity! How should Kristina make money her passion? Two words: Money Map. We’ve got a live one here for you, Skankatron!

The Be Best News: Kristina did find her purpose in Bali, to enthrall the world through dance. Behold an interpretive softshoe inspired by Stanley Kubrick’s “Eyes Wide Shut.” Be sure to check out the African tribesman and highlander that pop out of nowhere:

Holy merde! Agnes de Mille is turning in her grave. The only thing more ridiculous than Miss Ukraine’s gyrations during the talent portion of the Miss Universe competition is, of course, the original Bottom Video:

Alexis “I love fucking working with millennials” Neely is in love. No, not with the younger man taking her from behind but with the younger man below:

This love caught me by surprise, opening my heart at another level of willingness to face the parts of me that are here to be healed.

I am learning I can ask for my secure attachment needs to be met without encroaching upon his freedom, and in fact leading to more freedom (and devotion) for both of us.

I am so grateful for good, loving men who are willing to learn how to truly “meet” powerful women.

“Meet” meaning “unaware when they are being bulldozed by predatory, manipulative older women,” Skankatron?

The old raunch is now at Envision, another dirtfest, in Costa Rica, and is putting her poor son through the wringer for the umpteenth time:

Life. Seriously. It can seem so hard sometimes, and yet when I keep my right attitude in the face of the challenge, the shitty turns to better shit than I ever could have planned.

Last night, after a 6 hour bus ride to get to Puerto Viejo (on our way to Punta Mona for NYE), the cute little bungalow I booked had somehow and without notice gotten canceled by Hotels.com.

Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem, but the town was 100% sold out for the holiday weekend. Like no kidding 💯, every bed, couch and hammock booked.

I felt really bad because we were also traveling w a new friend we had been paired up with for the trip, William, and I had assured him I had the lodging for the night handled. Doh.

Noah (my son) was already resistant AF to this whole trip. If you saw my insta/FB story, you KWIM. And I was seeing his worst nightmare play out before my eyes.

I could have freaked, gotten demanding and gone down the rabbit hole of righteousness, persecution and seeking to blame. A past version of me would have.

Instead, I knew there must be some opportunity or possibility here I wasn’t seeing.

Don’t get me wrong, I could feel my anxiety. But instead of projecting it out, I acknowledged it, breathed it down and met it inside myself, waiting to see what would happen next.

And, of course, as it does, Life met me there. Turns out the man who lives next to the bungalow we were meant to rent is an angel. Bruno offered us the camper on his property for the night.

Again, I could have pitched a fit because it was soooo hot and clearly hadn’t been used for a long time. But I knew it would work out.

We walked into town (in the rain), seeking food and shelter and WiFi for my son to download his shows for our offgrid time, only to discover the WiFi was a no go.

He was beyond pissed as this was literally his worst nightmare coming true. Sleeping in a hot, moldy camper and unable to download any of his shows.

But, Life knows. And through it all, I got to show him what equanimity in the face of challenge looks like.

We got back to the camper, and it had cooled down a little and he fell asleep easily while I chatted with our travel buddy, William, discovering a (no surprise) strongly synchronistic connection until midnight.

We slept great in the camper! Thank you Bruno. We love you!!

It’s morning now and I’m lounging on a couch in a WiFi cafe in Puerto Viejo writing this, with a vegan latte, tofu scramble, and my kid far happier than he looks in this photo downloading his shows for when we go off grid later today at Punta Mona.

Life, you freaking rock, especially when I let go and let you take me.

Happy New Year everyone! May you find your equanimity in the face of every challenging opportunity this year and for ever more.

Happy New Year to Ali, too, and to my dear bunnies. And wow. Just wow. How “freaking” mysterious that the “cute little bungalow” Skankatron had rented was mysteriously cancelled. I’m flashing on a moment in “Best in Show” in which Eugene Levy & Catherine O’Hara can’t enter their hotel room because their credit card is maxed out.

Thank goodness for Ali’s “equanimity” but thanks more for Bruno, else that kid would be sleeping in the gutter instead of a hot, moldy camper. Can you imagine growing up with an out-of-it alcoholic father and a druggy, promiscuous mother who drags you to smelly woo shitshows?

Bottom Picture! Will this jaunt to CR again end with everyone naked and muddy? #motheroftheyear