I like to lift heavy things, make colorful food, write, and talk about pop culture.

What Does A New Year Really Mean?

How convenient that the first day of the New Year would fall on Thoughtful Thursday! I have a lot to be thankful for in December as well as in 2014. The year, as they always seem to do, passed by in a frenzied blur of emotion and momentous events, big and small.

In December specifically, I spent a lot of time with my family, which is my favorite thing in the world. From shopping for the perfect presents, eating meals, decorating the Christmas tree and donning “beautiful” sweaters, to standing around singing, talking, eating, and wining on Christmas Eve, and playing silly, fun games on Christmas, while remembering just why we celebrate, I can claim many memories from just this month.

I’m pleased that I have been able to make early morning workouts as part of my routine without much fuss because finding time in busy days to exercise is increasingly difficult, the more responsibilities that lie on your shoulders. There’s also no better, more powerful, or energized way to start my day and get me going.

I’ve read some enjoyable books, watched and finished some fun shows, and been to a couple of films that have entertained me and made me think. The best videos I’ve watched were the old home videos that showed me people that I miss and moments I don’t remember from being so young.

Since New Years Resolutions tend to be so temporary, I try not to instate my personal goals with such labels, but I also want to join in on the fun, so I came up with some. I would like to refer to 2015 as the Year of Good Vibrations. 2014 was a big learning year for me, which of course, should always be the case because we should never stop learning, I was busy finishing up my Master’s degree, finding a job, and fitting everything else in however I could. In 2015, I want to try and develop more routines, try new things, and go on different adventures. Here’s what I’ve thought of so far.

The first three have to do with the body, mind, and soul connection. Truth be told, I am lacking on the patience. It’s the whole instant gratification thing. Even when I workout, I prefer to do something fast-paced and heart-racing to the slow-pace of something like Yoga because my attention span prefers it. When I’m eating by myself, it’s hard to just enjoy the food and the experience because it’s more interesting to sidle up to the table with a book or sit in front of the television. Even when I’m watching a show or a movie, I find myself grabbing my phone or the computer and browsing, not even really watching. The only entertainment I can focus entirely on is a book, a movie if I’m in the theater, or a musical or play. I have to be better at the whole relaxing thing. I think meditation will calm my mind, stretching will help soothe my body, and Yoga will do both.

When I say reflect, I mostly mean to journal more, but reflect sounded better with the theme. When I do fit in journaling, I love it and I find it to be healing and relaxing, but there are only so many hours in the day and sitting down to consume, rather than create, seems far easier. It’s all about motivation and self-disciple for so many of these goals.

I find that I’m often at my worst when driving because I become overly aggressive, but from my perspective, I’m not really someone who holds grudges. Forgiveness is more of for myself to realize faults, accept them and the fact that I’m human, and to learn from them in a positive way. Maintaining a positive attitude is a far greater perspective to hold, but I know for a fact it’s not easy. It’s also difficult to forgive people for their humanness because we can’t see into their minds and understand their actions. I think a little forgiveness from and for everybody would do a great deal of good. Forgiveness and acceptance if not understanding and compassion.

Again, there’s just so much to see and do in this world, that I find myself constantly distracted. People have so many things to share and say and I don’t sit down and listen well enough. Many times people, myself included, have so much on their minds that they just blurt it out and leave no time to listen to what people have to say. Perhaps that forgiveness, acceptance, understanding, and compassion could start to stem from simply listening.

Patience is quite a theme. In some ways, I have a lot of patience, which I’ve learned from my teaching experience and good breeding. It’s also something I lack when I’m waiting for something exciting or anxiety-ridden. Often times the things I stress over are just because I’m not in the moment doing it. Once I get working on it, I realize everything is fine. This goal also could be referred to as, stop being do anxious and just breathe and take everything in. But that was a mouthful.

Kindness, again, seems such a simple concept that everyone should show and yet, we can’t quite perfect it. As humans, we get caught up in our own heads, emotions, and actions, and we worry so much about what other people do being against our own that we blame them for it. Shared experiences are wonderful, but so are ones that we play no part in, but can learn from and understand if only we have patience, listen, and forgive ourselves and everyone for our humanness. As we have learned from all my thoughts and from life, I can’t control how everyone acts, but I can be kinder.

Trying new things can be difficult for me because I am so shy when I first meet someone. It takes awhile for me to build up comfort with a person or a new thing and then I sort of just explode all over it and people probably wish I was quieter and less intrusive. When I like something, I tend to throw my entire self into, which can be good and overwhelming. I just get very excited, which should be an attribute that lends to trying new things, and yet that anxiety that bubbles and creeps kicks in and I’m left indecisive and afraid. As I grow older, I’ve grown better at not allowing anxiety to hold me back, knowing that sometimes I need to take a deep breath and be brave, but it can still be stifling every so often. I don’t think it’s something that will ever go away, but it can be controlled.

Having confidence goes along with this. As I’ve mentioned before while discussing my weight loss journey, once I realized that I can’t spend my life hiding and worrying about what others think, I was able to lose the weight. Confidence is something I’ve gained more of, and increases as I feel comfortable with something, as it always does, but it’s still a matter I struggle with. It helps when I remind myself that I’m 25 now, an adult, and that most times, the anticipation of something is worse than it actually is, so again, I just take a deep breath, be brave, and do it.

Resolutions are made to be broken because I think we over-examine ourselves and only see the flaws or where we want to be in life, not what we have. From what I’ve written above as my goals, I don’t expect to fix in 2015 or ever. I laid these out because they are parts of myself that I want to work on, learn from, and grow. By facing our weaknesses or matters upon which we wish to improve, we gain a better understanding of ourselves.

Throughout 2014, I learned a lot about myself. Now that we are in 2015, I am looking back on all of that and trying to figure out how to learn even more. Let’s start with remembering our humanness, our imperfections, and our tendency to rely on temporary fixes on things that do not always result in physical products.

I’ve got a lot to look forward to that I know of and a lot that I don’t this year. Happy 2015!