On Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

The Guys' Guy's Guide to Valentine's Day

Robert Manni - Monday, February 12, 2018

Valentine’s Day is a day most guys dread. It’s commercial, pressure packed, and commercially exploitative.

If you’re single, you’ll feel left out. If you’re in a relationship, you’re running around at last minute looking for a cool gift for your lover. That’s not very romantic. But it doesn't have to be that way. What can a Guy’s Guy do to make this annual task of love work for you? The answer is to get out of the equation. Check your ego and make February 14th day all about your partner. If you personalize the day for her, you’ll get more satisfaction than you could hope for. Here are three Guy’s Guy hacks for turning this challenging into a day you truly celebrate.

1. Tried and true ideas can work if they are not the expected. Dinners, flowers, chocolates, jewelry, champagne, and lingerie have been the standard bearers. If you customize them, there is nothing wrong with choosing any or all of the above. If that’s the case, what separates a champion from a chump comes down to one thing— paying attention, personalizing the gift, and choosing something that first pleases your partner.

On Valentine’s Day, and on any day, women love receiving flowers. But, contrary to popular thinking, not every woman considers a dozen red roses her first choice. As you know, women have particular tastes about everything, and preferences for flowers are no exception. To make your choice special, find out which flowers she prefers ahead of time, even if you need to ask her friends.

2. When love is new, fan the flames. If you want to get intimate with a woman for the first time you are probably considering buying lingerie in the hopes that she’ll wear it for you on Valentine’s Day. But pause before picking out something small and red and just for you. She’s more than aware that you want her to give you the show. But unless she’s given you a big hint about recreational activities for Valentine’s Day, your Guy’s Guy says DO NOT buy her lingerie for Valentine’s Day if you haven’t been to bed with her yet. Take your time and don’t make her feel like she’s under pressure about getting it on with you on Valentine’s Day. If you want to get her in bed, there are other less obvious ways than buying her lingerie. Start by being thoughtful and unpredictable. Keep her off balance, be romantic, and use the element of surprise. Pick up tickets for that show she wanted to see, cook her a special dinner, or take her to that place she mentioned in passing or to somewhere she’s always wanted to go. The little things will get you over the top, amigo.

And instead of buying a big, red printed card with a long rhyming message, pick put a classy, elegant card with very little text so you can scribble your own heartfelt message about how much fun it is getting to know her and how much she means to you. Point out the little things you’ve noticed about her that make her special and why you want to get to know her better. Believe me, she’ll notice that you’re paying attention, and most likely you won’t need that red lingerie to get where you want to go. She’ll have something picked out just for you. If you express your feelings in a heartfelt way, she’ll bring it on when the time is right. And when she does decide to rock your world, fasten your seat belt.

3. Keep the fires burning… Again, it’s about personalization. If you buy her jewelry pick something that you think she’ll like and then kick it up a notch by inscribing it with a personal message. A former paramour once bought me a silver necklace and an understated pendant. Nice. When I looked closer at it I noticed that she had inscribed on the underside, “Love Slave”. Talk about marking your territory. It worked. Of course once my next girlfriend took one look at it, it went to the scrap heap.

Whether you are in a long-term relationship or marriage the written word really goes a long way. If you buy a card, write in it the ten special things that she does that make you love her. Tell her why she all those reasons why she’s so important to you or what makes her sexy and fun and giving. Let her know her in no uncertain terms that she is the one for you. And it won’t hurt if you clean the house before cooking her a special dinner.

You’ve got the idea now amigo. The key to a successful Valentine’s Day is making the dreaded day all about the other person. Then it becomes a good day.

This week’s Guy’s Guy of the Week is Paul McCartney. After all, isn’t he the Beatle who wrote all those silly love songs?