Not being a Londoner, clipboards to me invariably say, “Excuse me, would you spare a moment of your time for xyz cause so that, even though you are not particularly invested in said cause, we can bombard you with emails, texts, letters, tweets and pigeons until you feel so unbearably guilty you will hand over your pitiful savings to save the okapi/raise awareness of dandruff/petition the government for better chewing gum removal on our nation’s streets?”

The clipboard got to me before I saw him and suddenly my friend and I were trapped.

“Excuse me,” he said, and I feared the worst. “Do you like films?” This was new. This was unexpected. Suddenly I was on a first date with the clipboard and we were sharing our interests.