Sunday, 24 November 2013

It was a hard week for me - feeling stressed, exhausted, and twitchy. By Friday, with an extra day off school, the kids were wild jumping machines. Pushing each other, talking back to me, and testing every single limit.

A short trip for groceries turned into swears muttered under my breath and the bluffed threat of Santa not coming this year.

So I had a break. And they had a break.

And today, my untiring oldest came up to me, hugged me with his hardest squeeze, told me I was a great Mommy, a pretty Mommy, and that he loved me. I even got a kiss.

Parenting is the hardest "job" I've ever had, but moments like these don't compare to anything in the world. At all.

Sunday, 17 November 2013

But I've always been curious about mediumship and connecting with spirits. I think it took the death of a very loved person and my own health battles to truly open me up to believing.

Tonight I experienced it for the first time. A small group session with a medium. She did not know anything about us beforehand - not even our names.

You need to be open for this sort of experience to work. No anxiousness; no disbelief.

And honestly - I was blown away.

My sister Erin was there too, and we were both hoping to connect with our step-Dad, Robin. We were both open to the experience, and still very much feel his presence in our lives, so were hoping for a connection.

Mediums can work in many ways - they can sense things, see things, hear things or use their intuition. They can tell you things about a departed person, but they can also tell you things about yourself. They can sometimes give specifics about the departed, like sex, age, name. They can give general images - a "clue" if you will - something that connects you to this person. Something that only you would know.

The medium went to Erin first - and sensed a male - in a protecting relationship. Then the information came rolling fast - many identifying clues (a specific hat, the appearance of a skeleton and bones). The medium asked about blood tests in general, and eventually, was getting a message about something inflammatory happening to me. She asked if I had recently had a diagnosis. Then she asked if it was MS. She was also able to pick up details about when Robin passed away.

It was emotional. And exhausting. And here I sit, way past my bedtime. I cant stop thinking about this experience. I feel like I received some sort of confirmation tonight. Of what, exactly, I don't know. An energy? A force within ourselves? Within the universe?

Thursday, 14 November 2013

We all have those sentimental little baubles. Small treasures; Big importance.

Mine was my guardian angel necklace. I bought it for myself right after my diagnosis, when I was looking for something, anything, to help with the process of acceptance. I wrote about it here.

I wore it almost every day. And it helped.

Yesterday, as Oliver and I walked up the hill to get Jack from school, the clasp broke, and as if in slow motion, it fell from my neck. It was a poignant moment as I caught the angel in my hands. Of all things to break - my guardian angel. It really made me think about why I've been wearing her around my neck for almost a year and a half. Did I still need her? Was I just being silly? Maybe that's why she broke?

I wasn't ready to part with her, so decided to see if I could get the necklace fixed. A jewellery repair place quoted me $40 and a trip to Toronto for some sort of special clasp. Complete BS. So I went to Blue Ruby Metrotown, where I bought it (for only about $50) to see if they had any suggestions. Not only did they help me - they took my necklace, worked their magic with a pair of pliers and a new clasp, and fixed it right then and there. For free. That is some serious customer service. To help a customer with an old necklace, a broken clasp, and a lot of sentimental value.

Friday, 1 November 2013

Healthy adults recover from a cold or flu in about 3-5 days. For those with compromised immune systems, it drags on and on...

Everyone wondered why I was always sick.

Years later - add the immune-modulating medication into the mix, and I wonder if I'll spend the entire winter dueling with my immune system.

Here's why:

When a person with an autoimmune disease gets sick, those fighter T-cells from the immune system that are supposed to destroy the invading bacteria or virus attack the body instead of the real culprits.

With MS, the attack means that inflammation in the nervous system will likely occur, causing present or past symptoms to worsen and perhaps causing new symptoms to appear. The probability of a relapse is high.

My boys got sick, and got better.

And now here I am - a week later - getting worse. And it's just a simple cold.

A simple cold that for me, also means a tingling and numb left foot and hands, a weak right leg, a crawling sensation all over my face, a continuously vibrating eye, and weird little "zaps" around my body.

And I know someone will ask... No flu shot for me - it triggers an even worse immune response.

But thank you Benylin for drugging me just enough.

As unpleasant as it is to experience, the science behind it is fascinating.

I'm tempted to put my degrees to work and create a controlled experiment right here!