husband left me for his ex girlfriend

We have been married 12 years, 2 sons, not perfect but i thought at least we plodded on. He was funny for a few weeks, very quiet and disengaged, then told me hed been having an affair, not a sexual one at that point ( he said).

He then left! I am on my own with my two DS, 10 and 11. I have lots of good friends but I feel so numb. I was so calm about him going, he is now living with her( shes left her husband) and although I am angry with him, I am strangely calm. Why?, and when am I going to fall apart?

You could be me! He met ex two and a half years ago. Was meeting secretly. I found out. Big discussion. Tried to make things work for a little while. He obviously started seeing her again - checked out of marriage, usual scenario.... Then I found out he was intending to leave me. Have been very up and down but the worst time was when I found out originally. I now feel as though I've wasted the last two years of my life. Early days for me as he's just left the house (not gone to stay with her yet for some reason). I'm sure once I start dealing with practicalities it will be hard but in some ways I feel strangely relieved because he was very hard to live with for a long time. We were married 15 years - two sons 13 and 10. Happy to offer support.

Who stoleHow are you doing? I've been ok when busy, sad if I let myself think of the good times. Whenever I see him he annoys me as he is deeply selfish towards me. I feel angry he didn't voice his concerns about our marriage, but went for the easy option. He is living with her- they obviously think it was'meant to be' or some such twaddle! Well let's see how long it lasts, not that I care tbh.

Op, console yourself with the fact that if she were the love of his life then they wouldn't have split in the first place ! It's never a good idea to go back with an ex as the old problems will one day resurface.

For me the situation sank in gradually and it felt much worse two weeks in. I'm telling you so it doesn't shock you if it happens. FWIW I think the initial reaction is the true one eg my initial reaction was relief and I think that was the intuitively correct one. Friends have said similar about tjeir situations. But doesn't mean there's not a painful grieving process to go thro. But it's is survivable. You will come through even if it gets harder in the short term.

Thanks. I am tired and out of my routine today, so that proabably is compounding the problem.

He doesn't seem very excited to see the kids, although he is making the effort to see them twice a week, they don't seem to think its quality time and usually the new woman is there which makes me feel shit for them.

happy halloween- had a brief but intense period of depression earlier this year- had counselling and felt much better for it. Think it has helped me more than I can say.I must sleep now this is the thing i am struggling with- the late nights as i can't seem to go to bed at a sensible time and the tiredness is taking over.

It will pass. Talk to your colleagues. Do everything you can to settle yourself - talk to friends/family, go for a run, sing, write/read a poem, walk, go to a coffee, watch comforting dvds. Anything that keeps the world normal. You will get through, one step at a time. It isn't the end of your world, a new chapter is all.

Thanks. Yes spoken to boss who is pretty good- been through similar herself . Problem is my job us temp and I gave to reapply for it- lots if extra stress. H doing my head in by changing times he can collect kds etc. selfish pig!!