Friday, June 01, 2012

Great Shawlands Republic 3

We have heard great things about the last two Greater Shawlands Repbulic events and are planning to go along to their third one ourselves this week. Here is what they have to say for themselves.

"The organisation dedicated to overthrowing the yolk of
Glasgow City Council control and freeing the Southside of Glasgow will be
convening on the weekend of Jubilee. The assembly will be a mixture of a
comedy, cabaret and heated debate on whether or not Shawlands needs a
queen.

The debate over the monarchy has deeply fragmented the
party. A recent poll shows that almost half of all GSR party members believe
that Michelle McManus has the strongest claim to the throne. There had been a
rival movement amongst some other party members who were firmly behind the claim
of Stannis Baratheon, however this support fell away when they learned that he
was fictional. However, there are still some supporters who refuse to give up
and who who claim that it is Stannis Baratheon who is in fact real and Michelle
McManus who is fictional.

The monarchy debates comes at a bad time for the party
after the recent schism at the General Assembly of the Church of Shawlands.
Controversy ensued after delegates voted that marriage should be between a man
and a woman or a man and a man or a woman and a woman or a man and many women or
a woman and many men, but NEVER AGAIN should it be between a man and a potato.
A number of party members decided to jacket in.

The whole debacle comes after the launch of their 'why not'
campaign failed to make much impact. The poorly attended event only attracted
five people including celebrities PC Tony Stamp from The Bill and Alan
Cumming.

The assembly will start at 8pm on June 3rd at the Bungo, 17
Nithsdale Road and is open to all. Southsiders can get in for 5 pollocks and 99
shields which at the current exchange rate is £5.99. As per usual West Enders
will have to pay 6 pollocks.

Light relief on the night will be provided by evangelist
Reverend Obadiah Steppnwolf III and leader of the fledgling People’s Republic of
Paisley Scott Gibson.

Il Presidente of the Republic Bruce Morton and his first
deputy Andrew Learmonth will oversee proceedings."