It gives us pleasure to structure and organize the chaos, but it is inherently fleeting.
The universe craves entropy.

Runs on it.

Our perception of the distinction between disaster, beauty and renewal depends on whether we had organized the playing field neatly before it struck.
We take great satisfaction from organizing and filing the dust. Nature mocks us. It’s still dust. It, and we, will return to the chaos again.
Chaos arrives like your dog walking through the middle of the stacks of organized papers on the floor. Everything outside of the human perception of order crashes through it disinterested, tail wagging.

Can we actually define stress as the anxiety, or manufactured friction, between our neat organization of the dust and nature’s indifference?
Once again, the stability is an illusion. It’s all in our heads. While it is in our nature to organize, and maybe even to stress, maybe we can reduce our dependency on it a bit by accepting that order is temporary.
If you expect the weeds, and accept that their absence is attractive to us only because of our artificial judgement, maybe we can enjoy returning the garden to ‘neat’ – momentarily – rather than believe we have a right to expect stability, and curse the weeds re-appearance.
The weeds grow on, indifferent. Like the river, as Bach would say, flowing on, knowing only its own crystal self.

The pendulum swings, and that’s OK.
The nature of opportunity is that it is fleeting.
Wait too long, miss the opportunity.

Fix what you can change after missing it, certainly, but once its gone, let it go.

OK, so you missed it. Use that. Get out of the gate more quickly in the next round.
Maybe that opportunity wasn’t for you at all. It was a preparation, so you would be ready next time. Rationalization?, sure, but we can’t all, or always, be so sharply tuned that we never miss one. Too stressful anyway.
Don’t waste time lamenting it, but be sure to use the wake up call. Use the energy that missing it generated as a sign that this is the type of opportunity that holds interest for you.

I care, I really do. I’m not just listening and disengaged, but I regularly refuse to panic. Sometimes that calm comes across as apathy, but it isn’t.
Bach talks about a pilot whose method for sounding calm on the radio is to count to five, out loud if possible, before keying the mike.
The extension of the logic is that if you don’t have time to count you probably have more important things to do than to talk on the radio…

I’ve learned that in other’s minds, I’m too quick to focus on the solution. I’m a fixer, I need to find a solution when someone brings a problem to me.
In my own mind once I have potential solutions, I have options. If I have options, I’m not trapped and need not panic.
Further, once options are identified, there are choices to make and actions to take that necessarily distract from the temptation to panic or complain.

Other people don’t process that way. They need to go through the stages. Even over daily issues.

I’m working on forcing myself to shut up and listen for a while. Let the energy come out and be vented. We only listen for solutions when we’re past the anger and venting.
Solutions presented during venting are seen as argumentative and a challenge to the severity or reality of the person’s situation. They think you are denying the problem itself.
People need to go through the stages, I do too when its my turn, but its hard to remember that feeling when you are on the other side of the conversation, bursting with a premature solution.

We all know the basic idea, if you don’t get your own mask on fast, you potentially flop over before you can help anyone.

And then what good are you.

The temptation in a panic, of course, is to help the child, or your charge, immediately.

Broader lesson time, right?

There comes a time when you should stop and make sure your own balance is in order before you attempt to do anything for anyone else.

If you don’t have the patience, if you haven’t stabilized your own foundation, you’re more likely to be part of the problem than the solution.

There are moments of self evaluation when we know we need tending to. Pay attention to these. Let them speak to you. Otherwise you are bound to find your mind drifting rather than listening to those you are trying to help. Warning sign.

We have to find our own individual peace, and truly be at peace, before we can help bring peace to anyone else’s issues.

“This is an invocation for anyone who hasn’t begun to start, who is stuck between 0 and 1”

“Let me think about the people I care about the most. Like when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend the same generosity to myself.

In fact, I’ve decided to make it a mandatory monthly activity.
And Im not just talking about taking the day off work. Don’t even tell anyone at home.

Use it on the things you have been wanting to do but haven’t had the time.
Sit in the spring sunshine.
Go the gym when there is no one there.
Find the music you’ve been looking for.
Drive the 15 minutes to get the cup of coffee you really want.
Read.
Practice something you’ve been neglecting.
Be a tourist in your own town.

Whatever, but do nothing out of guilt. Do not answer the phone or try to fit in an errand.
The more retirees you see the better you are doing. They know the best slow diners, sunny benches, fishing spots and walking trails in the middle of the day.
Do whatever you want.
In the end I really think you come back without the baggage. When a few of those moments are truly enjoyed you no longer hold their absence against the people asking for your time.
So much easier to engage in the 10,000 things once you return satisfied.