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VICTIMS OF THE PRESS: ARE THEY DRUNK IN SPAIN...OR AT YAHOO?

From Yahoo Health News Today:

Health - Reuters

Study: Red Wine Slows Lung Cancer, White Raises Risk

Tonight, October 27, 2004, Yahoo has made a valuable contribution to the world war against cancer by publicizing an important study concerning a major finding from astutre researchers in that scientific ant hill: Spain.

For the non-scientists out there I will try to dissect this important study bit by bit so that you do not miss any of its important implications. I will pick out the important words and phrases and show you their meanings and implications.

Drinking red wine could protect against lung cancer, but white wine may increase the risk, Spanish scientists said Thursday.

COULD
--can you be any less predictive? I mean sheep could be scientists

MAY
--as my grandma would say, may it or can it?

SPANISH SCIENTISTS
--in a book thinner than Italian war heroes

They examined the effects of different types of wine on lung cancer, the most common and deadly form of the disease.

--the most common and deadly form of THE disease? WHAT disease? Lung cancer?
Champagneaholic disease?

Red wine contains tannins and resveratrol, substances which he said could explain the drink's anti-cancer properties.

---yes, and it could also explain red tide

the scientists emphasized the risk from drinking white wine was very slight and only 39 white wine drinkers were studied

.

---scientists? What scientists?
---what was very slight, the RISK, or the effort at finding white wine drinkers?
---39 white wine drinkers? My grandmother has more white wine drinkers in her
Mah Jong club

However, Barros-Dios was careful not to encourage binge drinking to combat lung cancer

--yea, but the quality of this study is already encouraging binge drinking in serious scientists

"We do not recommend drinking if you want to prevent lung cancer," he told Reuters, adding that the risk of lung cancer to non-smokers is very small, and that smokers should quit.

---he does this expensive study and then gives me the same advice my mother did

Barros-Dios, Ruano-Ravina and research colleague Adolfo Figueiras are affiliated to the University of Santiago de Compostela. They said they will continue their studies using lab animals