Is A Guy Flaking Out On You? What To Say When He Cancels Plans

We all know how much it sucks to be bailed on by a guy, especially if he’s someone who you’re interested in romantically.

Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens more than I would like to admit, which is why knowing what to say when a guy flakes on you will make all the difference in the world.

My name is Amy North. I’m a relationship coach from Vancouver, Canada and author of The Devotion System, a program I designed to help women find and lock down love.

Today I want to share with you a line that will get you far when it comes to getting a man to spend more time with you, especially in situations where he casually changes his plans.

Before I share this with you, I would like to quickly ask that if you find this article at all helpful, then please share it with your girlfriends. Your friends will not only appreciate you sharing this insight with them but I appreciate the support.

Let’s talk about how to pull him back in when he cancels plans.

To set the scene here, let’s pretend that you have dinner plans with a man.

For the sake of the scenario, we will call that man Dave. Let’s say just hours before you’re meant to meet up with Dave, he shoots you a text message or calls saying that something came up and he can’t make it.

Now, how I see it, you have two options here.

The first is to get pissed off or upset and to tell Dave that you think he’s a selfish jerk with no consideration for anyone but himself.

Maybe that’s a bit extreme. But, what I mean here is letting him know that you’re clearly annoyed by his flakiness. For instance, maybe you give him attitude or make it known that you’re not impressed by being short with him, sulking or speaking in a flat, dry tone. You know what I’m talking about.

On the other hand – and this is most definitely the better option of the two – you can play it cool and let Dave know that you’re totally fine and you will catch him another time.

Of course this is easier said than done especially if you were really looking forward to spending time with him and you are genuinely upset that he’s bailing. But letting him see the negative side of you will do you no favors in the long run.

You want him to feel as though he’s the one missing out by bailing on you.

So if the guy you’re into flakes out on you, then your absolute best bet for keeping him interested is to sweetly say or text this to him:

“It’s OK. I understand you’re busy. I have a lot going on the next few days but perhaps we can reschedule for later this week. Have a great day.”

The reason why this statement works so well is because even if he assumes you won’t be upset about him canceling on you, he still knows that there’s a possibility you won’t handle the situation well.

However, by coming across as calm, cool and collected, it will make him want to spend more time with you. After all, it’s not every day he encounters someone who radiates positivity even in unfavorable situations.

Now I want to explain why each of these sentences is so important. I mean why not just reply with, “It’s cool,” or “OK”? So let’s start with the first part of the sentence:

“It’s OK. I understand you are busy.”

Telling him that it’s OK shows him your compassionate side and it’s your way of letting him know that you’re not mad or upset with him, which is particularly important if you are hoping to see him again.

Adding in:

“I know you’re busy”

Shows him that you’re considerate of his schedule. This is worth noting because again, it shows him that you don’t expect him to drop everything he’s doing to see you.

Also, the extra bit about being busy makes the “It’s OK” sound more sincere. After all, those two small words can pack quite the punch and they don’t always come across in a positive way. That’s why using both of these together is so imperative.

Of course there will be times when him bailing isn’t OK.

In fact you may even want to pull your hair out in frustration of his flakiness. But again, if you’re looking to win this guy over, then it’s important that you make him think that he’s the one missing out when he’s not spending time with you.

Getting angry or reacting negatively won’t make him want to see you.

In fact, it may even make him go out of his way to avoid you if he feels like he’s in the dog house.

Now of course this is different if the guy who’s bailing on you is your long term boyfriend. In that case, you would be having a totally different conversation about the situation.

But for scenarios where you’re just getting to know him and hoping to develop a relationship, this is what you want to do.

Now, moving on to the next part of what to say when a guy flakes on you.

Let’s go over why saying this part works wonders:

“I have a lot going on in the next few days but perhaps we can reschedule for later this week,”

Since men want to be with women who are independent and outgoing, by telling him that you’re busy for the next few days, it shows him that you’re not sitting around waiting for him to come calling.

Even if you have nothing planned for the week, say this part anyway because it will make him want to see you more.

It’s a known fact that men love the thrill of the chase. Making him think that he has to work for your time or needs to give you notice to fit into your schedule, that will bring the chase to life.

A good rule of thumb to follow is to need at least three days’ notice for making plans. Of course it can be tempting to drop what you’re doing to see a man you’re into. But believe me, making him wait that extra little bit will keep him interested.

Also suggesting that you reschedule lets him know that you’re still willing and wanting to see him. Not all hope is lost for him. He has the green light to contact you again.

Lastly, wishing him well or telling him to have a good day leaves things on a positive note and again, it tells him you’re not upset that he’s bailing. Because why would you be? Your life is full and exciting as-is.

Again, this extra little bit will put a smile on his face and you can bet that he will be thinking about you even long after you’ve wished him well.

If you can put a positive spin on an otherwise crappy situation, then your guy will not only be much more likely to come calling, but it will make him look forward to seeing you.

Think about it from his perspective for a moment. If you had to or even chose to cancel plans on a man, would you be more inclined to want to see him again if he was a downer about the situation or if he brushed it off like it was no big deal because he understood you were busy? Exactly.

About Amy North

She specializes in breakups, marital issues, and dating for women, and offers relationship coaching to clients from around the world.

Her background in both psychology and journalism makes Amy a highly sought-after relationship pro. With thousands of subscribers and millions of views, her YouTube channel has become a smash hit with women all over the world.

This material is protected under copyright law and may not be reprinted or republished without express permission from the author. This information is presented for general education purposes only and does not imply a professional relationship or advice. Please seek professional help if you are struggling.

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