Posts Tagged ‘Career Development’

When it comes to pressure in the workplace or at home, which situations trigger feelings of overload, burden, overwhelm and stress? How do you typically react? Do you freeze up, get angry or cranky, gossip, feel frustrated, or stop working and start complaining? Do you overreact?

The next time pressure and overload land in your world, shift your old pattern to a more constructive response.

Consciously choose your reaction. Begin by acknowledging to yourself that wave of despair, annoyance or overwhelm as it starts to surface. Then, take a moment and identify your preferred response. If you need the benefit of another perspective, speak with your manager or a trusted friend. Discuss the necessity of a shift in priorities. Seek out their advice about ways to proceed. You can also solicit suggestions from a colleague. Or, if need be, take a brief walk to clear your head, release tension and get a fresh perspective.

The trick to handling pressure more effectively is interrupting your auto-pilot, patterned response. Consciously choose to replace overreaction with emotional intelligence and you’ll feel the change ripple through your life.

In a year-end post by blogger Penelope Trunk called “15 Things Overachievers Do,” one of those things was they steal things. She admitted to stealing this particular blog idea from “Thought Catalogue. Forbes.com contributor TJ McCue stole the same idea from Penelope for his year-end piece “13 Things Overachievers Do.” My point: achieving great things doesn’t always mean conjuring up new ideas.

Both McCue and Trunk point out that over-achievers have a lot of great ideas, so they don’t mind if others steal them. After all, it’s not the ideas that matter, it’s the execution. And stealing ideas from others can make life easier and that’s okay.

To steal ideas, put yourself in the flow of the ever-increasing information stream. Identify industry thought-leaders or people outside your field whose accomplishments you find intriguing. Pick up their biographies or books, read their columns, watch their shows or follow their blogs.

Solutions to issues you face at work or at home can be found in the unlikeliest places. A mind open and exposed to new or unconventional ideas is sure to find them.

We look to tools and techniques to help us manage time. And they can, to a certain extent – that being the degree to which we take a disciplined approach to their application. The effectiveness of any time management tool is squarely in our hands. To manage your time more effectively, you have to improve the way you manage your self.

If your time is mismanaged or wasted, you’re the one at fault. In knowing that, you give yourself a chance to own your power to change the situation. You can begin using your time more consistently to do what best serves your goals and helps you live a better, more satisfying life, now.

Here are two time management strategies that, applied regularly, will help you manage yourself and can have a ripple effect on your behavior as the owner and manager of your time.

Make the Meaningful a Priority Put time in your schedule, at least weekly, perhaps daily, to do something meaningful, in addition to your daily work. This might include time with loved ones, time to meditate, to read for pleasure, time to exercise, time for volunteer activities. Determine what adds meaning to your life then make sure you add it to your list of priorities.

Build Flex Time into Your Schedule By that I mean leave two to three hours each day unscheduled. Block it off on your calendar as “Flex Time” or whatever you want to call it. The point is, it’s scheduled time on your calendar. Don’t double book yourself. You can move your Flex Time or shift it, but don’t delete it and give it away. Keep this time sacred and use it for thinking, planning, handling the unexpected, dealing with emergencies. As a task-driven society, we underestimate the value of devoting time to thinking, planning or just breathing.

The unexpected is inevitable. If you plan for the unanticipated, you’ll spend less time putting out fires and more time focused on the activities that fulfill you and move you closer to your goals.

“I’m continually trying to make choices that put me against my own comfort zone. As long as you’re uncomfortable, it means you’re growing.” ~Ashton Kutcher

Defensiveness is the biggest deterrent to learning, professional and personal growth and positive change. Most of the time we don’t recognize when we’re standing in the way of our own progress.

Here’s the number one way you can tell if you’re stopping yourself from learning and becoming more. When someone makes a suggestion, do you respond by explaining why you do what you do? If you do, your internal mental Border Patrol, a concept I introduced in my book, LIES That Limit, is making an argument for your status quo. Justifying your behavior is a sure way to stay stuck in old, outdated patterns.

Another way you thwart your own growth is when you tell others they don’t understand your situation or circumstances, you’re limiting your ability to make progress with your life.

If you’re at cause for lackluster progress in your life, stop justifying your behavior and start identifying more with your vision for your life. Tell a new story.

Through conditioning we blind ourselves to the best of who we are. We become untrusting, too busy, too intellectual, too committed to rules and ideas that, in the end, don’t serve our growth or expand awareness of our Spirit and Purpose. We collude with the internal Border Patrol, limiting our self-expression and access to what is best and right for us. We become too afraid to touch our core, our Spirit, our own divine nature.

What’s in the way of accessing your true nature? LIES – Labels, Illusions, Excuses and Stories. You allow LIES – the cultural story about what’s true, real, and important – to come between you and your Spirit. LIES dull the connection to your core and your calling. LIES enforced by The Border Patrol make you afraid to let your Spirit rule your life, guide your actions and decisions, and keep you aligned with the truth of who you really are.

Convincingly, The Border Patrol will say, “If you start talking about this weird, woo-woo stuff, you’ll lose everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve and acquire.” The Border Patrol will persuade you to stay out of that foreign territory of Spirit and Purpose and keep your feet planted firmly on the ground. It will tell you to leave all that nonsense alone, and threaten you with, “If you don’t, you’ll become an outcast, ridiculed and humiliated for your beliefs – rejected by the people who love you.”

Adopting the ways of the world, what you mistakenly call life takes center stage. Your connection with your core Self is lost. Soon, you forget you’re the creative force in your life. You give up authorship. You lose faith in your ability to be sure of who you are, why you’re here, and what’s right for you. The controlling, self-sabotaging power of The Border Patrol takes the driver’s seat in your mind.

The Border Patrol is expert at generating fear of losing love. In reality, no one could ever love you less than this internal agent of oppression. When speaking to you, The Border Patrol’s words seem logical, make sense and sound reasonable and protective. After all, you don’t want to jeopardize your safety and security. But, what you don’t understand is its cunning, loveless nature. Blindly, you yield to the authority of The Border Patrol, agreeing to live LIES in exchange for a false sense of security.

Charles, a senior-level coaching client, told me that early in his career, his mentor advised him to be smart enough to be humble, versus proving how smart he is.

No matter the job level of the person he’s interacting with, Charles’ mode of operation is always to be collegial and collaborative.

Here are the principles that guide his behavior and his leadership style:

He works with people versus them working for him.

He demonstrates respect for everyone’s point of view, even when he disagrees.

He looks to learn something from everyone, even if it’s simply what their interests and passions are.

To make space for others to share what they know, he often asks, “What do you think?” “What does your experience say we should do in this case?”

Charles’ smart-enough-to-be-humble leadership style helps the people in his organization feel valued. They’re also not afraid to be open and honest when interacting with him. In today’s business climate, where innovation and creativity are required, keeping the lines of communication flowing is critical because you never know from where that next great business idea will come.

Every day, opportunities are presented to us. They may be disguised as obstacles, problems or issues, but what they really are is a chance to demonstrate our ability to make a positive contribution to our lives or our company’s goals and objectives.

The best way to take advantage of these opportunities is by making conscious choices designed to get you closer to your personal and career goals.

Here are two simple steps that will help you act more mindfully in the face of a perceived obstacle.

Slow down your actions and reactions. Take a few breaths and think before you speak, decide or act.

Then, look out into future and imagine the potential consequences of your response. Determine if what you’re about to say or do supports or sabotages your intentions.

In all areas of life – at work and at home, conscious choice is a necessary component of behavioral change and goal achievement. Make a firm decision to accomplish your goals by breaking free of self-limiting patterns. Simply put, a quick “no” might close more doors than you realize at first, while a well-thought out “yes” signals others that you’re an engaged member of a team focused on success.

Remember: stop, breathe and think. Then, select the emotionally intelligent response that will move you closer to what you want.

The new year is about new beginnings. Which makes the announcement of my new website TeressaMooreGriffin.com rather timely.

I’ve spent decades successfully helping executives become more effective and purpose-driven in their jobs. Over the years I’ve seen the role of leadership change from that which is exclusive to the very top echelon of a company to something required of every employee no matter their rank.

Successful companies know that leadership, creativity and innovation doesn’t always come from the top. Valuable insight and drive can come from anywhere along the chain of command. This means two things. Today’s executives need to better understand how to capitalize on the intellectual power and energy within their company, and up and down the corporate ladder, employees must learn how to make their impact felt.

It is that knowledge that I share with you on TeressaMooreGriffin.com – the latest online community that has sprung from Spirit of Purpose™.

This new website is also the home of my Office Talk reports, heard regularly on KYW Newsradio Online. Office Talk provides quick, easy-to-digest tips on being effective at work. The topics cover a wide range, including how to conduct productive meetings, mentoring and being mentored, failing your way to success and how to get through difficult, but necessary conversations.

Being more effective at work leads to being happy at work and in life. There are simple adjustments you can make to change your attitude and behavior that will catapult you to the top, or simply make you feel more powerful and productive where you are.

TeressaMooreGriffin.com is live right now! Stop by and visit. I’ll update Office Talk every week with the latest written and audio versions of my reports. Audio is included so you multi-taskers can listen to these 1-minute reports while you work!

Let me know what obstacles you face in the workplace. Chances are you’re not alone. I want to make sure “Office Talk” addresses real issues people are dealing with as they manage people and processes in their everyday worklife.

I was coaching a man recently, and his reaction to the call for change was classic.

To Jack, changing meant he wouldn’t be the person he used to be. About that, we agreed. He wouldn’t be his old self any longer.

As he contemplated change, his concerns began to surface. “I don’t want to lose myself. I mean, I’m me. I’ve been this way all of my life. Anything else would feel phony and awkward.”

Jack also admitted that he was concerned about how others would see him and respond to the changes. He worried that he wouldn’t be seen as credible. “Who’s going to believe it?”

I offered the thought that changing wouldn’t make him less of who he is. He’d become more. He’d have access to more of his whole self which includes parts and behavior patterns he knows well, parts and potential that are less familiar, and skill and abilities that are underdeveloped.

“Jack, any time you want to stop using the new skill, you can. At will, you can go back to your old way because whatever you change – a behavior, a mindset, a belief – it’s still yours. You can call it up and begin using it again, any time you choose. In a very real sense, you haven’t lost anything, you’ve added something.”

Jack breathed a sigh of relief. “That makes perfect sense. It seems so simple when you say it that way. I’m in. I’ll give it a try.”

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of change. Become more of who you really are.

Make a decision to let go of LIES That Limit your freedom of choice, your effectiveness at work, your success in relationships, your willingness to take action and make changes for your own good.

Try something you’ve been wanting to do. Learn a skill that intrigues you. Give up a habit that no longer serves you. Adopt a new behavior or perspective that will help you live better now.

When you add new experiences, beliefs and behaviors to your repertoire, you expand your capacity, broaden your range of capability, and deepen your awareness of your limitless potential. Emboldened with a new skill set and perspective, you’re equipped to do more, to embody more of who you really are. You take another step in the direction of wholeness.

So, what about you? What changes are calling to you – changes that might help you gain access to more of your whole self?

My personal answer is simple. I have two commitments:

I’m going to give myself a morning and an afternoon practice of taking ten deep, conscious breaths with the goals of relaxing, clearing my mind and energizing my body.

At least four days a week this winter (I walk during the summer, happily, but avoid the winter winds), I’m going to walk three miles a day. Walking helps me to inhabit my body, work out the kinks, strengthen my legs, lungs and heart, build physical energy and facilitate mental clarity. I deserve these good gifts all year-round.

Embrace your change – be it large or small – and make 2013 the year you become more of who you really are.

Try this for just one day and notice the impact on you and on others. Listen more. Listen to understand. Listen to learn. Listen to empathize. Listen to validate.

Don’t worry. You won’t become invisible, powerless or less impactful. In fact, you will become more visible because you’ll stand out as someone who cares in a world full of people who are busy pushing their agenda, selling their ideas, jockeying for position.

You may find these three techniques helpful to listen actively for far more effective communication.

Mirror the speaker’s message. In other words, accurately restate the content and emotional tone of the speaker’s message by paraphrasing what you heard. This is a good way to demonstrate that you understand what was said. And, it allows the speaker to clarify important points, you may have missed or misunderstood.

Empathize with the speaker’s feelings or emotional state. Let the speaker know that you hear how they are feeling about the topic of discussion. Name the emotion you believe the speaker is experiencing. Use phrases like you sound happy or sad, scared, angry, concerned, etc. Or, I image you’re feeling frustrated, joyful, etc.

Validate the speaker’s point of view. Confirm that you understand the situation through her eyes and can appreciate why he or she feels the way they do, even if you don’t agree. To practice validation, use phrases such as… “I can see why you say that…” Or, “Given what you’ve said, I understand why you conclude…”

Talk less and listen more. Then, notice how many people – at home and at work – will compliment you for being such a great listener, for caring or for affording them the opportunity to talk through something that was concerning them.

Emotionally intelligent people engage in active listening. To power up your effectiveness as a communicator and your credibility as someone who genuinely cares, try it and watch your personal and/or executive presence emerge.

Teressa Moore Griffin, M. Ed., is the author of LIES That Limit: Uncover the Truth Of Who You Really Are. Moore Griffin is a certified Core Energetics Therapist and has been a personal growth coach for more than two decades, helping C-level executives get beyond the personal obstacles that stand in the way of their professional success and career satisfaction. She appears regularly on FOX, KYW Newsradio, and has been interviewed on CBS and the Comcast Network. Moore Griffin has also contributed articles to WorkingMother.com, SheKnows.com, Today’s Child and HealthyLiving.com.
Her corporate clients include Consolidated Edison, GlaxoSmithKline Pharmaceuticals, Forest Laboratories, AT&T, Merrill Lynch, American Express Company, Harley Davidson, Barnett Banks, Texaco, The United Negro College Fund and The Prudential.