At the height of the Second World War, FDR gave a stirring radio address in which he reassured the American public that "no matter how dark the hour, we can take great comfort in knowing that an overpriced gym chain will eventually capitalize on it a decade later with some self-serving, bullshit coupon they damn well know no one will ever use." And what do you know? History has once again gone and repeated itself. Congrats, New York Sports Clubs! You are true patriots, through and through.

(P.S. Act soon! Coupon expires exactly ten-years-to-the-day that the Twin Towers fell. Oh, and you better still be employed as a first responder. Doesn't matter if you were employed, you know, the day of the actual attacks. Sorry! Rules are rules.)