Amusing outpourings, off colour rantings, ill conceived monologues and in-depth post mortems of things that are still alive

Tuesday, 18 October 2016

That's my airship, Patricia!

As some of you know, instead of buying cards and presents for my friends and family members birthdays, I often write them a story. If they've had characters based on them in one of my books, then they get an in-character story.

It's my Daughter's birthday today...

-oOo-

“And?” said Dorleith, raising her eyebrows.

“What do you mean ‘and’? You said you’d take me to the shooting range.” Mal’Ak-hai looked down dejectedly into his soup.

“I think you’ll find that Mother said I’d take you to the shooting range, I just nodded so she’d stop going on about it. You do know it’s my birthday don’t you Squirt?”

“Of course, we’re getting you a…” he dropped his spoon and put his suddenly empty hand over his mouth. “Nearly…” he mumbled.

She laughed, her brother was pretty easy to trick, and she’d proudly done it thousands of times before, despite the fact that he was only twelve years old. She sometimes even felt that perhaps she should lay off him a little – But that feeling never lasted long. “OK, I tell you what – I’m going to grab a couple of birthday presents from me to myself, then we’ll go to the shooting range and I’ll show you how to shoot properly, so you’re not shown up when you have to do it in front of the Guard.” Her brother rolled his eyes and ate the last few spoonfuls of his thin, grey soup.

He followed her around the backstreets of Enys Skaw station, she seemed to duck into every shop that sold clothes with buckles, or brasswork or brown leather. Then they walked across the wide expanse of the main market place, all around them were offworld traders, selling everything you could possibly think of. In fact, some of the more esoteric Kalibri and Torkan shop owners were selling things that neither of them could identify at all.

Mal’Ak-hai wandered over to the closest Torkan. “What’s that?” he asked, pointing to a large glass bottle, full of a pearlescent amber liquid.

The Torkan picked up the bottle with the cluster of tentacles that made up its right hand. And turned it around slowly to face its hood. There was a sound like a sigh, before its facial tentacles started to vibrate and its translator box took over. The words were almost metallic sounding, with a slight background buzz. “It is an unguent that is used to supplement the stamina of the engorged trunquor during the long mating season.”

“What’s a trunquor?” Mal asked.

The Torkan raised itself up and seemed to look down at the boy from under its darkened hood, “You do not have one.” It put the bottle back down carefully. “Now go away, you are scaring off my real customers.”

Dorleith laughed and grabbed Mal by the ear, “C’mon Squirt, it’s shooty-mcbang-bang time.” She made her thumb and forefinger into a gun and pointed them at Mal’s face. “Pew-pew!” then she blew the imaginary smoke from her finger end and holstered her hand at her hip. “Have you brought your gun?”

He looked up at her, “I think I left it in the skimmer.” He took the Intercomm out of his jacket, “I’ll ask Mother’s pilot to…”

Dorleith slapped the box out of his hand, “You’ll do nothing of the sort. It’s time you learned that actions have consequences. When you’re in command of your own troupe of dancing tin soldiers, you can order them around however you please. But until then, you can live with it. We can hire guns there I would have thought.”

It took them fifteen minutes to get from the edge of the market to the street where the shooting range was. As they turned the corner, Dorleith could see that there was a large grey Pradilan standing outside. It seemed to get a lot bigger as they got closer to it. By the time they were stood next to it, it was over seven feet tall and smelled like the wrong end of an ox.

The huge grey reptile turned its head to look down at them, “What doin’?” it asked.

Dorleith turned to Mal, “I’ll handle this,” she whispered, and turned back to face the uncontrollably dripping jaws that looked like they could easily swallow you whole, “We’ve come to use your facility.” She pointed behind it at the door to the range. The scaled behemoth turned to look where she was pointing and appeared shocked, as if seeing the range for the first time.

“Got guns?”

“Yes we… Well I have, he’s forgotten his. We’d like to hire…”

“Can’t shoot gun you don’t got.”

“As I said, I was hoping that we could…”

“That stupid, Moose not stupid.”

“No Mr… Moose was it? I’m absolutely sure you’re not, but…”

A human voice shouted from the open door of the firing range in heavily accented Basic, “For Phobus’ sake Moose, let the nice people in before they get bored and fly home.”

The Pradilan moved out of their way and they entered the range. The last they heard from the reptilian doorman was a muttered, “Nice people don’t fly, nice people don’t got wings, Moose not stupid.”

The reception area was small, but clean. Behind an armourplas screen sat a wiry gentleman wearing a broad-brimmed hat, “Good afternoon, I’m sorry about Moose, it’s an idiot - but it keeps the riff-raff out. Can I help you at all?”

Dorleith took a step forward. “Yes, thanks, we’d like some range time; and my brother has forgotten his gun.”

The owner nodded, “Not a problem, we’re very quiet, so I can offer you a selection. If you’d like to go through?"

A sliding door opened in the opposite wall and buzzing lights came on to illuminate the shooting range itself as they stepped through. All but one of the range benches in front of them were empty. One contained a selection of handguns, and it was this one that they walked over to.

“How did he get them here so fast?”

Dorleith pointed upwards without looking. Mounted to the ceiling above each bay was a multi-armed construct that could deliver guns and ammunition from the storage area above. “I think it was magic.” She said, shaking her head. “Want to start with a needler?” She picked up a small pistol and handed it to Mal.

He took the weapon off her and hefted it, before taking aim at the cutout of a Spider at the other end of the range.

“Take it gently, don’t forget to breathe. That little gun shouldn’t kick back too much, but keep an eye on it tracking upwards.”

Mal turned to look at her, and fired down the range. Emptying the thirty round magazine of the weapon without ever losing eye contact with her.

“Well, that was a waste of ammunition.” Dorleith sneered as the target sped towards them. “Three holes, three hits. Better than I thought you’d do.”

“How did you…? It doesn’t matter, want to try a compression pistol next?”

“If you think I need to, Captain Sembhee says I’m a natural.” Mal put down the needler and was about to pick up the heavier pistol when his Intercomm started to buzz insistently. “Hello?”

The tinny voice from the speaker was their Mother’s, “I’m all done, so stop whatever you’re doing and meet me at the skimmer in five minutes.” She cut the connection without giving them any time to argue.

Luckily, the shooting range was close to the landing pads, so they made it back with seconds to spare. The Baroness was sat in front, next to the pilot and they took the comfortable rear seats. The twin engines spun up, and within seconds they were in the air on the way back to the Roost.

The Baroness looked at Dorleith over her shoulder, “Your birthday present is in the locker between you, I hope you like it, you can add it to your collection perhaps.”

She opened the locker that was built into the back of the centre seat and took out a large box that was wrapped with a ribbon.

“Open it!” urged Mal'Ak-hai. Almost bouncing in his seat with excitement, “It was very expensive.”

Dorleith frowned at him, but untied the ribbon and opened the box. Inside was a miniature airship, almost nine inches long, crafted from copper and bronze. She touched the graphene airbag and it gave slightly with her touch.

“The bags have got real Heptium in, when you turn it on it floats about two inches in the air.” Mal explained. “It’s the Bolivar.”

She looked down at the delicate model, “I know it’s the Bolivar, I’m not stupid.” The Bolivar was her father’s ship, lost with all hands two years before during the Spider attack at Tromega.

“I thought it might help.” Said her Mother, quietly.

Dorleith ran her finger down the model of the Bolivar’s length, and started to cry.

-oOo-

Of yes, for those of you having trouble visualising exactly what a Torkan looks like... Here's a production sketch that might help you out.