Something missing?

Tiger Woods said that missing the Masters wasn’t that bad. “Speak for yourself” said CBS.

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Didn’t everyone have this figured? NL pitching leaders as of May 5 with 5 wins – Greinke, Wainwright, Machi… #SFGiants

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The Supreme Court ruled today that city councils can begin their meetings with prayer, even if it plainly favors a specific religion. Okay, so let’s see what happens when some council decides to include, say, a Buddhist or Muslim prayer…

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Who says politicians are never honest? Lindsay Graham – “Our Democratic friends, for the most part, have been in the tank over Benghazi. Some guy said this about me yesterday on the left: The only reason I cared about this was because I have six tea party opponents. Well, if that’s true, I’m the biggest scumbag in America.”

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Saturday was the Kentucky Derby, Monday was Cinco de Mayo. Which for many Americans means finding out the answer to a question – do you get a worse hangover from bourbon or tequila?

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Governor Chris Christie on the Brooklyn Nets “They’re not in New Jersey anymore. They’re not my team — I’m a Knicks fan. And so the fact is, I just don’t care.” Makes sense that Christie would root for the Knicks, their year has made his look good by comparison.

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Former PayPal exec Rakesh “Rocky” Agrawal is no longer with the company after sending out late night tweets saying amongst other things that PayPal’s global communications VP was a “useless middle. manager” and a “piece of s***.” Agrawal says he quit before tweeting, but just guessing he’s not expecting a reference?

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A Hong Kong company has come up with a new “Paper Clip” armrest for planes, which has a double decker format they say will eliminate the armrest battles most fliers face regularly. Wonder which U.S. carrier will try it first, presumably as soon as they figure out how to charge an “arm room fee.”

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You really cannot make this “stuff” up: .Steve Wiles is running in the GOP primary for North Carolina state Senate, touting his support for a gay marriage ban. And the Winston-Salem Journal is reporting Wiles worked for years as a drag queen emcee known as ‘Miss Mona Sinclair’ at a Winston-Salem gay bar.

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Jameis Winston apparently was carrying crawfish, crab legs and butter when he walked out of a Florida Publix without paying. But the Heisman winner insisted he did not steal the butter, because he left it in a bin before he left the store. Maybe that explains why FSU has already reinstated him?

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Stay classy. Stacey Campfield, the Tennessee state senator who once said HIV and AIDS originated from a man having sex with a monkey, just wrote in his blog “Democrats bragging about the number of mandatory sign ups for Obamacare is like Germans bragging about the number of manditory sign ups for ‘train rides’ for Jews in the 40s.”

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From my funny friend Jerry Perisho: Oregon State fired head basketball coach Craig Robinson, the brother-in-law of Pres. Obama. Fox News said the firing was part of the Republican resurgence. MSNBC said it was due to right wing radicalism on campus. CNN said, “Oregon is nowhere near the Indian Ocean, so we don’t care.

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For some variety, Dwight Perry’s sideline chatter. (And he included one of my jokes)