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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Monster Voice

Welcome to the September Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how challenging discipline situations can be met with play. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
Daniel has difficulty with sensory processing. We've been working through this since he was about five months old (he was the youngest child our Occupational Therapist had ever seen with these kinds of sensory symptoms). I take him to OT and Jaymz and I do many things at home to help him regulate his nervous system. A lot of those therapeutic activities are part of our daily playtime routines, including ball time and various other fun things.

Still, Daniel has trouble calming and regulating himself. He tends to spend a lot of the day vocalizing his frustrations with life through screaming, crying, yelling, screeching...whatever you'd like to call it, it certainly is LOUD. After hours of this every day, I get to feeling mighty cranky and impatient myself. Some of my least proud parenting moments have been as a result of the constant sound (perhaps due to my own sensory sensitivities). Sometimes I can tune out his sounds, but other times, I just can't. And there are times when it's helpful to have a tactic to help him quiet down so that we all can cope better, enjoy a meal together, or just try and avoid hearing damage!

Enter: The Monster Voice!

This is a sound Daniel started making one day that Jaymz and I thought was hilarious (and adorable). He's continued to do it for several months now, and we coined it "the monster voice" since it sounds (to us) like how someone might change her voice while pretending to be a monster.

When Daniel is vocalizing his emotions and it starts to wear on me, I start doing the monster voice to Daniel. He, in turn, does it back to me (usually), and it turns a once difficult and stressful situation into a playful exchange between us.

I've even noticed that sometimes when Daniel is upset, he switches back and forth between yelling and doing the monster voice. It's as if this has morphed from a tactic to turn down the volume in the room for a moment into an effective coping mechanism for him: He's still able to voice his frustrations, while keeping the sound level a tad lower, and the energy in the room a little bit calmer.

I'm extremely grateful that we've stumbled upon this playful strategy for the loud times. It's such a simple solution that can make a huge difference in a tough moment! I know I'll continue to try introducing silliness with Daniel when things get rough.
Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon September 13 with all the carnival links.)

Splashing in Puddles — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares how she learned to get dirty and have fun with her little boy.

Say Please — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life explains how they taught their son manners by "play," showing that actions speak louder than words.

No Nanny Needed — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life wishes parenting through play was her only responsibility during the day.

I'll Run Away With Gypsies — Nikalee at Spotted Pandemonium maneuvers physical and emotional obstacles while spinning playful tales, jumping through hoops, and inspiring the kids to clean the living room.

A Promise To My Daughter — Lindsey at An Unschooling Adventure writes a poem for her daughter promising to use play instead of anger when facing difficult situations.

Practicing Playful Parenting — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle realizes that playfulness is the best way through the day and seeks more ways to practice it.

Today, Tomorrow and Every Day — Starr at Taking Time addresses her children in a letter sharing with them how improtant it is that they spend their childhood playing.

Learning Through Immersion — Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares how she helps her daughter develop naturally without focusing on teaching, but rather by immersing her in their family's way of life and making her an active part of her environment.

Play Here Now — Jessica at Instead of Institutions learns and relearns and tries to remember the value of play.

22 comments:

I should've been more clear, but this video is from May 1st (the first day he did the voice). @Uncle Kevin: Since it was the first day, we didn't know to be intense about it. We've learned our lesson! =)

Another mama of a child with sensory issues here, although SchmoopyBoy's challendges sound a lot more mild than what you are facing. For us, we need to find more intense physically stimulating play to help him calm down. Things like walking like a wheelbarrow (when I hold his feet up and he walks on his hands) or having him do somersaults on the mattress over and over and then turning that into a game of pounce or steamroller are some of our go-to playful activities for helping him release his need for heavy sensory stimulation. Thank goodness for playful responses to frustrating situations! They make everyone feel better!

What a wonderful solution to the noise problem! I love it when a spur-of-the-moment reaction leads to a positive end. Not only have you managed to help your noise overload (I have the same problem), but you've given him an effective way to express his feelings without creating a stressed-out mommy! I'll bet that, as he learns to talk more, he'll start using that voice when he's frustrated, angry, or upset! WTG, Momma!

I love the monster voice!!! My daughter had one similar when she was that age. What a gift it's turned out to be for you. Yeah for monsters! I can understand how the loud can wear you down. You're a strong and wise mommy. You and your husband are going to give Daniel all the tools he needs to thrive in this world. That makes me just about well up. I can feel the love in your family from here.

I need to try this one with my preschooler ;) I think we have some of the same issues (right now I'm talking about *my* sensory issues) - noise really gets to me, I'll have to remember and use this the next time the volume gets close to unbearable. TY!!

that's a really sweet idea to turn something excruciating into play. I don't know if he likes to sing, but sometimes singing a song with the tones he is vocalizing helps me and my daughter... not every time, sometimes it just pisses her off

Awesome idea!!! I have to admit though, my favourite part about this post is the banana pyjama pants..... =DI still read your blog all the time but don't comment b/c it comes in the NPN blogroll email. I'm still a faithful reader though! xo

p.s. I also linked you on my latest post; it comes in the NPN blogroll tomorrow and then I will post it on Mothers of Change sometime soon (still editing) so your blog will be linked there too. Just FYI! =)

That is so cool. I love how you recognized something Daniel does that you could turn into a playful tension-buster for both of you. I think I'm going to give that a shot with Mikko when the noise level gets too loud. It's gotta be better than repeatedly reminding him to dial it down, right? And especially if we're both feeling stressed, I could see it helping with that for us as well. Thanks for passing this along!

P.S. I love videos of dads in hilarious PJs. It's a trend, I think. ;)