8 Things You Need To Know This AM — Sep 16 2015

A convicted murderer danced to the "Thong Song" on the roof of a Manchester prison; everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

Forget Escape From Alcatraz and The Shawshank Redemption — the best prison-break moment ever is happening right now, in real life. Inmate Stuart Horner has been evading police and living on the Strangeways prison roof for the past three days in protest of the site’s poor conditions. Crowds gathered below the tense scene have begun to play music in an effort to support Horner, who has pledged to stay on the roof for 40 days and 40 nights. (Gawker)

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North Korea restarts all nuclear bomb fuel plants, threatens the U.S., officially has no chill.

After announcing on Monday that it intends to launch a series of “weather-forecasting” satellites in order to celebrate 70 years of the Workers' Party rule, North Korea has confirmed that its atomic bomb fuel production plants have resumed “normal operation.” If the infamously menacing state actually follows through on its plan to launch satellite-bearing, long-range rockets, the act would be a violation of U.N. sanctions and perceived as a “serious provocation,” South Korea’s Defense Ministry said. (USA Today)

Experts in robot ethics campaign to outlaw sex robots, so guess it’s back to making Tom Hardy’s computer-animated doppelgänger marry you in The Sims.

Some of the U.K.’s premier researchers in roboethics are arguing that robot sex dolls are more than just creepy nightmare fuel — that they're actually powerful catalysts for gender inequality and rape culture. Kathleen Richardson and Erik Brilling’s Campaign Against Sex Robots hopes to ban artificially intelligent sex dolls before they hit shelves, claiming the technology will “further objectify women and children” and “reduce human empathy.” (Wired)

Five fraternity brothers were charged in the hazing death of a Baruch College freshman.

A Pi Delta Psi retreat in the Poconos turned deadly when freshman rushee Chun Hsien Deng suffered a massive head injury during a hazing ritual, which involved getting tackled while blindfolded and weighed down with sand-filled backpack. Five members of the Baruch College fraternity have been indicted on third-degree murder charges; a total of 37 students have been charged in relation to the death. (The New York Times)

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Hungary closed down its border as Europe’s refugee crisis escalates.

Hungary has declared a state of emergency after closing its borders in response to a growing immigration crisis. Hungary’s decision to shut its border with Serbia by installing a wire fence has not deterred refugees from heading toward the area — and scores of people have been detained for their illegal attempts to circumvent the fence. Many more protested near the border. (The New York Times)

Your dad’s dream garage sale is actually happening: Ringo Starr is selling a bunch of Beatles “stuff” he found while cleaning.

When you go through all your old boxes from childhood and college, what do you find? At best some Lisa Frank merchandise and a half-empty bottle of flavored vodka? If you’re Ringo Starr and his wife, you uncover the drum kit used to record “Can’t Buy Me Love” and one of John Lennon’s vintage guitars. Some 800 items, most unseen for decades and pulled from Starr’s multiple storage facilities, will be auctioned off in Beverly Hills, CA. A portion of the proceeds will go toward supporting the drummer’s own charity, Lotus Children Foundation. (The Independent)

Air India has “grounded” almost 130 flight attendants for being “too fat,” because you’re not safe from sexism even when you’re in the sky.

Fat-shaming reached new heights after the state-run airline Air India removed 125 crew members — most of whom were women — from its aircrafts for “failing to reduce [their] weight to acceptable levels.” Evidently the employees’ unsatisfactory BMI levels are “a safety issue.” Air India also monitors employees’ skin: “There should be no scars, acne, or any major marks on the face,” personnel manager Meenakshi Dua said, according to the BBC. (Refinery29)

Snapchat is upping your 10-second video game with a new animated filter; now no one has to know what you actually look like when you’re drunk-singing Celine Dion .

All the hours you waste taking pictures of yourself with silly effects on Photo Booth can now be spent taking videos of yourself with silly effects on Snapchat: the app’s new update includes a feature for purchase called Lenses that allows you to add animated graphics to your selfies, like super kawaii hearts or even rainbow puke. The photo-sharing service has also made the Replay function available for purchase, with three Replays selling for 99 cents. (TechCrunch)