Obama Admits Killing Muslims More Fun Than He Expected

WASHINGTON – During his visit with with Chris Matthews on MSNBC’s Hardball, President Obama responded to the host’s hard hitting questions and in-depth scrutiny with surprising candor. Following is a transcript of Chris Matthew’s interview with President Obama.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: President Obama, such a pleasure to to be speaking with you today.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: The pleasure is all mine, Chris.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: Is it really or are you just saying that?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Nope, I’m not just saying it. It really is a pleasure to be here.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: You mean to be here at MSNBC studios or here with me?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Well, I’m uh, happy to….

CHRIS MATTHEWS: I don’t mean to put you on the spot, Your Eminence, but …

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Please, Chris, call me President.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: Of course, sir, what did I say? Your Eminence? Oh God! I did notjust say that! (Chris slaps himself on forehead)

PRESIDENT OBAMA: It’s OK, Chris

CHRIS MATTHEWS: Sheesh! I’m just so, I don’t even know how to describe my feelings. Ha! Look at me, I’m flush! Ha! And my heart is fluttering all over the place and my loin – God, my loin!

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Settle down Chris. Now, what was it you wanted to ask me.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: I’m so sorry Mr. President. Please, forgive me…

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Please, Chris, the interview.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: You’re right, Mr. President. OK, where was I? (clears throat) Oh, I know – what about those Republicans booing the gay soldier? Can you believe that?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Like I’ve said on several talk shows, Chris, I was appalled at the smallness of the Republican candidates who said nothing when their audience booed that gay soldier.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: It was small, wasn’t it. Small… what a perfect word, sir.

Chris Matthews and President Obama smiled at each other for several seconds.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Of course, Chris. I want to give due credit to our men and women in uniform, be they gay or straight, bisexual or transgender, legal or illegal. But this was a drone mission carried out because I gave the order. Anwar al-Awlaki ended up a gnarled, steaming lump of shredded meat because of my orders, Chris, and I’m going to keep issuing those kinds of orders.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: My orders are backed with eagerness and an insatiable hunger, Chris. I mean, I’m chomping at the proverbial bit to keep blowing these guys away.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: Ha! The proverbial bit! So you’re not kidding about it being fun?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: It’s a hoot!

CHRIS MATTHEWS: Mr. President, what would your message be to the millions of peace loving, law abiding Muslims throughout the world?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Live your lives like you normally do. But if you hear the sound of an airplane – you might want to get under a bed or stand in a doorway because if it’s a drone – the sh*t is gonna hit the fan!

CHRIS MATTHEWS: (puts his hand over his mouth) Mister President!

PRESIDENT OBAMA: You didn’t know what a bad ass I was, huh Chris?

CHRIS MATTHEWS: I, uh….you caught me off guard, your Holiness. I mean, I knew you were tough. I’ve seen the photos of you frolicking in the beach, the glistening sea water rolling off your chiseled torso, your rock hard abs….

PRESIDENT OBAMA: You’re feelin’ the thrill, ain’t ya Chris?

CHRIS MATTHEWS: Oh God!

President Obama reaches over and slaps Chris Matthews on his knee.

CHRIS MATTHEWS:Oh, Barry!

Chris Matthew’s eyes rolled back into his head and his body began to twitch. Studio personnel rushed to his aid and just minutes later Matthews was smoking a cigarette and assuring everyone that he was OK. President Obama tousled Matthew’s hair and wished him well before leaving the studio.