February 2007

Note: this was the inspired, hypergraphic comment that I left on Eszter’s Blog, after reading Dan’s comment, and wanting to finally introduce myself to Eszter. Documentation.

I am not linking now, from mobile, and I apologize for that.

Poor commenter ettiquette on my part, but I’m willing to wager it will be an exception. Based on my present state-of-being. And I know Eszter will laugh about it one day, because I’m funny that way.

Beautiful spirits, all these people!

Ok, so this is the interactive thing that’s taken off… I had imagined the Web turning into something like this, but it’s surreal that it actually happened!!! Travis must love this! Play, play, play. Funny, liberation, equalization, bridging and connecting. Thank goodness others are so kind to use language and images!!! And meet me in shared meanings. (Oh! Champaigne: The SuperComputing Center, Mosaic and all: that ties to the Cherry 7-Up I drank a day ago, etc. I love that all these links and connections have returned!) notes…

Dan, you are the contagion models masterman: it’s a moral imperative that you test to see if the baby would spread. I don’t think it’s too derivative. Oh, wait–
Just thought of how the limerick thing’s been a biggee (along with other cool babies) in the Annals of Improbable and Irreproducible Research. (Harvard’s mini-AIR was one of the first mailing listservs I joined, back in my CE/GEOS days! I remember getting hooked into U2’s fanbase and news, too.) I still get mini-AIR, 14 years later. Has ND been kind to keep this punk around, or what?!

I’m still saying, “I’m not worthy.” :)

You guys will appreciate this because of your social and communicative leanings and interests: isn’t it amazing how everything came together to allow this late-deafened chick to meet you all?!

Thanks for your humors! I think that was the predomin… Scratch that. I Know that was the predominate thing that attracted me to academia. I’m tempted to name the roll of names here, but don’t want to monopolize Eszter’s comments space. (Although I was a Master Monopoly player as a kid: go railroad tycoon, another form of engineering.)

I didn’t get a submission in for ASA this year, as I had hoped, but I’m totally planning to hop to NYC if you guys are gonna be there.

Here I felt so guilty because formal work wasn’t getting done.

OK, I heard your voice, Dan, so I’ll stop obsessing!

So funny!!!

Catch you guys around.

I can’t post comments on Blogger via Blackberry. I think Eszter has elegant taste in having chosen WordPress.

* By Liszt, associated with the Warner Brothers’ “Tiny Toons Adventures” cartoons. That was the composition that Mr. Crouch transposed so that I could play a duet with my sister for a band and orchestra festival. My sister played flute, and I played E-flat baritone saxophone. I think we have a video (rare!) And it is fitting for me to get it transferred to digital format. It is circa 1992. Then, of course, I’d attempt to share it on YouTube or such!

here is the paper for Wed. Sorry for sending it so late! (see paper and models
in two separate docs.). This is about half of a
first draft of a paper – I have not written a word on entire sections, and the
ones already written need more care. It may sound familiar to other things I
presented in SPAM since I’m using the same data, dependent variable, and some
old ideas. There’s a monster inside me – like in the ALIEN movies – that makes
me write, even against my will, about why people protest using the ACPS … But
other emerging monsters are ready to take command of my brain and will hopefully
move it to distant places soon.
Although I need feedback on everything, the most pressing question for me now is
whether this is an interesting question to pursue. I’m pretty persuaded that
this paper should ‘fill a gap’ (at least for me), but I’m not sure if people
believe it’s a gap interesting enough to be filled. And as always, I would love
any suggestion for improving my English.

“Life’s like a movie. Write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending. We’ve done just what we’ve set out to do. Thanks to the lovers, the dreamers, and YOU!” (Courtesy Henson, Williams, et al)

I just finished watching The Muppet Movie, the movie of my life, basically. The best movie ever made and actually experienced.

Synchronicity!

——-
I’ve gotten actual sleep, and I’m back to cooking and eating. Everyrhing is flowing smoothly.

At this same time, I’m aware of my physical limits. And they seem perfect. (For example, I’m so accustomed to my chronic dry eye and how my eyelids can’t disperse and retain what tears my body has naturally so that it keeps the lens and cornea at functionally normal levels… and it’s just habit/basic maintenance to use artificial drops every 10 minutes or so (preservative-free). It has maintained my vision, which I had lost in one eye as an infant (congenital/associated with my mutation), and at the time and through my childhood we thought I was on some mysterious course to lose the other eye, too. (Migraines, floaters, loss of visual field episodes… )

There can be tons and tons of symptoms and presentations, and visits to the ER when the body panics in reaction to changes it can’t handle at a particular moment, but if we find a way to tolerate things, and just experience them, move through them and allow them to be what they will be, rather than surrender to fear of what the future may hold, or what may be lost. To seize what’s right with us in the moment and maximize it… To let go of some things when they go. (Perhaps to have them to return, but not with some expectation: just the openness and receptive orientation to it.) Even Steven, you know.

So sometimes its not necessary to have more surgeries to fix the mechanical stuff that gets compromised by nerves being injured, cut, rendered useless. (I’ve got a goldweight for general closure, but to be doing grafting of nerves and all that extra stuff. I’m wondering if it’s just better to let things be and allow the body to heal with time, rather than potentially aggregate more unregulated cell division. (And tumor formation/growth.) The balance… And figuring out when to move out of the way of our bodies’ own natural healing capacities.

——
I chose to live, whatever it meant as far as functional state because I was interested in exploring and experiencing what I wasn’t familiar witham curiosity, inquisitiveness. Life fascinates me, as do all other people I come in contact with. Our minds, how we process, interpret and experience this amazing gig. Together.

I guess sometimes I thought it was kind of anomalous compared to what seemed the status quo, but I think I may have made a faulty assumption. Lately I feel like it’s universal. All over!!!

I hope you feel the acceptance, too.

Communication in all forms and media. Phenomenal!!!

It’s so great to bridge all the gaps at such a mellow pace here.

Pragmatically, is there anything I can help you with? I have infectious laughter here, too. Drop in if you need a cure for pain or anything!

Because I’m not in a manic flurry here at all. I’m just going with the flow, and I’ve had restful sleep. I’ve started taking more note of actual time passage because I’m well aware that our bodies and minds can play games. But I’m clear, calm, collected, concise, and everything I’m doing is in it’s own relaxed pace. Maybe you call it “vacation mode.” Yeah, I’ve written on that before. It’s cool because I’m not bound to my usual obsession about losing or forgetting decent thoughts, or getting bogged down in clarifying every single detail. I’m secure and confident everything is here to stay. This is not a sense that I’ve had access to at anyrevious point in my life, save perhaps when I was a child? That security is a privilege that we must share with all humankind.

No more exploitation.

I have always been a citizen of the world, although I had no idea when I was a little girl that life circumstances would meander in such a way to so closely and personally connect me with so many friends all over this great sphere.

Do you feel loved? You should because you are truly accepted. People understand you more when you allow them to be given the assumption that they are genuinely relating to you.

we don’t have to fight faulty assumptions, if we instead choose to work them out interactively and explore the creative potential and meanings and experiences to be generated in moments.

I’ve been dreaming my own life and it’s been awesomely beautiful. It all added up because it happened. One day at a time. And I rode the coasters, the ups and downs, realized and still realize that there’s nothing more than that. We just lap up all the sensations. It’s all a matter of perception and interpretation. And we are, and can ALL BE masters at convincing ourselves an experience is anything we want it to be.

I rode it on faith. In that informal way. It was as unpredictable and delicious for me as anyone. And it takes all of us: past, present, and future. Everything matters. We’re all interconnected, and always free to draw uppn that. Experiences. You know you have them. I’m happy we can embrace them all. That is the source of healing. Play, laughter, effortless action. The smiles–the ones from the soul; they’re all there in all sorts of configurations because it’s spirit and Love. Being human.

That is how we are all rich. And that is our responsibility to each other: in bringing out the best, and enabling everyone to explore potentials among the full spectrum of states-of-being. Universalized equality.

We can still play our creative games and engage in the experiential fun of life (and the risks we’ve beem gifted to invent in our material world). That’s the vehicle for meaning-generation. That’s where we all get to be the master controllers of our own life experiments.

What an awesome social production!!!

———–
Research note:
I have been asleep and dreaming. Much reliving of “random” events in my life. We thrive to survive because we never know what may be around the corner.

Imagination. And “You Can Call Me Al,” on the mental radio. “The Boy in the Bubble.” We no longer need sources of destruction because there’s forgiveness that has resounded out of South Africa and we shall all step up to our obligations to our brothers and sisters everywhere. That is what we all want. Peace is no longer elusive. War is over because we choose not to injure anyone who we relate to as extension of ourself. And we do everything we can to ensure others are as happy as they can be, as long as they choose to give us the gift of their time and attention.

Awareness.

Using that consciousness.

I feel healing. And it was always something to be propogated into wider and wider circles.

The matter of presentation, and bringing form in line with content. That’s the fun stuff. Because all the variety keeps us guessing. And we like our games and puzzles: our brains were designed for them!

And that includes the full spectrum of ways of perceiving the world: intelligence exists in many qualities, whch we’ll be expanding and including people more and more.

Yeah, the Age of Meaning is all about Inclusivity. Everyone may feel at ease. That’s freedom.