The philosophies of men mingled with the philosophies of women.

When Good Analogies Turn Bad…

“I like to imagine that the world is one big machine. You know, machines never have any extra parts. They have the exact number and type of parts they need. So I figure if the entire world is a big machine, I have to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason, too.”

― Brian Selznick, The Invention of Hugo Cabret

“You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.”

― Albert Einstein

“Without inspiration, we’re all like a box of matches that will never be lit.”

― David Archuleta, Chords of Strength: A Memoir of Soul, Song and the Power of Perseverance

“A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.”

― Winston S. Churchill

It is in the spirit of the last quote from the magnanimous (albeit probably drunk when he said that) Winston Churchill that my thoughts are on today.

Analogies are a great way to understand our world, reduce complex ideas to manageable ones and allow for a more universal understanding of ideas across cultures, language and differences between people. The Saviours parables are analogies. The parable of the Wheat and the Tares uses agricultural ideas to represent people and their spiritual condition at the last day.

As a teacher and lecturer myself, using analogies really assists in conveying meaning in ways that are familiar to a particular audience. It is wonderful to see the “light” go on in someone’s face when they “understand” the idea you are trying to get across.

Rebecca over at BCC in 2010 covered aspects of this issue with some lovely references to gastro-intestinal analogies – so if that interests you please whet your appetite (a continuation of the gastro theme…) over there.

I have heard a few very average church themed analogies in my time (most on the modesty/sexual purity theme) – close to the top of that list is the chewing gum analogy. For some other rippers have a look here. And of course according to Elder Uchtdorf, almost everything is like a plane.

However I now have a new number one. The mining analogy. I had never heard it before – maybe you have – for those that haven’t it goes like this…

Two young ladies arrived to a meeting wearing clothes that were quite revealing their body parts. Here is what the Chairman told them: He took a good look at them and made them sit. Then he said something that, they might never forget for the rest of their lives.

He looked at them straight in the eyes and said; “ladies, everything that God has valuable in this world is well covered and hard to see, find or get.

Where do you find DIAMONDS? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.

Where do you find PEARLS? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.

Where do you find GOLD? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers of rock and to get them, you have to work hard & dig deep down to get them.

He looked at them with serious eyes and said;

“Your body is sacred & unique” You are far more precious than gold, diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too. So he added that, “If you keep your treasured mineral just like gold, diamond and pearls, deeply covered up, a reputable mining organization with the requisite machinery will fly down and conduct years of extensive exploration.”

Then he said, “First, they will contact your government (family), sign professional contracts (wedding) and mine you professionally ( legal marriage). But if you leave your precious minerals uncovered on the surface of the earth, you always attract a lot of illegal miners to come and mine you illegally. Everybody will just pick up their crude instruments and just have a dig on you just freely like that. So, keep your bodies deeply covered so that it invites professional miners to chase you.

I subsequently found out that versions of this were spoken about at BYD’s (Bishops Youth Discussions) in our Ward and in classes at church as spiritual thoughts.

I have a million problems with this type of analogy, but here are my main issues.

Covering up does not necessarily equal modesty

Is there a veiled (maybe not so..??) reference to the argument that what you wear can justify rape?? (ie Illegal mining??)

Using metaphors of mining with words like “years of extensive exploration” and “mining you professionally” are just plain gross and bordering on gratuitous.

The whole premise that Gods goodness is always hidden seems to go against a few scriptures I know, “And also those to whom these commandments were given, might have power to lay the foundation of this church, and to bring it forth out of obscurity and out of darkness, the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth, with which I, the Lord, am well pleased, speaking unto the church collectively and not individually – D&C 1:30 and “Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house” Matt 5:15

Questions:

Have you heard this analogy before and what do you think?

What other analogies have you heard that just don’t quite hit the mark?

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Published by LDS_Aussie

LDS_Aussie ventures opinion from an Australian perspective. He has a beautiful wife and they have produced four wonderful children. He is currently completing a PhD in Psychology and enjoys running, travelling and mountain bike riding.
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24 thoughts on “When Good Analogies Turn Bad…”

This is probably one of those analogies which was written to mock modesty purvayors, but ended up being adopted by them. Could anyone who was really serious about modesty write : “the requisite machinery will fly down and conduct years of extensive exploration.”? It sounds like it was written as a crude joke. But we shouldn’t underestimate how deeply naive some of us can be.

Nate – Thats what I thought. Until this exact analogy was used in a BYD and read in a YW class. The irony may be that it WAS written as a joke, but those who are so blinded by the need for teaching that modesty is about covering every square inch of your body swallow these stories hook, line and sinker (a fishing analogy)….

All analogies are limited, and some are more flawed than others. But I see nothing wrong with teaching modesty and self-respect.

BTW, #4 is a tenuous claim. (See sec 89 “hidden treasures of knowledge” and the Sermon on the Mount’s caution about “pearls before swine.” Also, positioning the sacred/secret nature of the temple as the pinnacle of Mormonism also implies the best is hidden.)

my main problem with this analogy is pretty similar to most of the other ones: it assumes that women (and/or their bodies) are consumable products, typically for men. In particular, as this analogy goes into detail, women become specimen to be examined and evaluated for value. Even marriage is cheapened — instead of being something that two people go into voluntarily and with informed consent, marriage is analogized as something passive for women…as far as the analogy goes, women sit around while men contact the family, sign them off in contracts and mine them (EWWW EWW EWW EWWWWW)

the one thing I can say in favor of this analogy (vs the cupcake, gum, etc., analogies) is that gold/diamonds/pearls don’t lose their value…but then even that is dashed away because this analogy implies that if women are a mineral reservoir, then they have a finite quantity of whatever valuable mineral that can be exhausted.

In addition to Andrew’s comment that this analogy treats women as products (consumable) and men as consumers and free agents, the very nature of objectification, it also sounds a whole lot like the justification used to get women to wear the hijab.

Also, oyster shells are hideous. Has this man never eaten an oyster? An oyster shell looks like a rock made out of bird poop.

I had similar thoughts to Andrew’s. How can this be expected to appeal to YW? Either way someone depletes them of all their value. What difference does it make if the person who makes off with your goods is reputable and takes his time stripping you of your worth?

In many ways, the analogy is perfect considering the history of the institution of marriage.

HG – I actually had a part of me think that this post had been translated from another language, given several examples of word choices and phraseology that didn’t quite feel right. To me that would represent the biggest irony here – we are taking our modesty teachings from those who support the hearing of clothing like the hijab. And I think thats why, Laurel, that this appeals to some of our YW. I have witnessed the one-up-(YW)man-ship of some YW who have argued with each other regarding modesty – the one who wins is the one who holds the position of most conservatism. This is, I think, where you get the T-Shirt over the swimsuit thing, etc – a bit of modesty is good = a lot more is better.

It goes somewhat towards the comments of Elder Bednar in the previous post – that seem to focus on the DO DO DO DO DO and DO aspects of the gospel. Do a little, but if you can do more then that’s better. That argument, ultimately has no end – sort of like “If you could Hie to Kolob..!!!

Not a fan of analogies. They are set up to be exactly what the author intends as if it is a way to prove or explain a point. But given they are usually written in the Author’s image, bingo, they always work! Except, of course, when they don’t. Oops, not crafted very well.

As a current BYU student, one of my most influential classes has been and remains Jason Carroll’s “Marriage Preparation” class. Dr. Carroll has a strong background in the family sciences, and one thing he was big on: the best analogy for explaining sexuality is no analogy. He gave some great examples of how parents can foster better open and clear conversation with kids. While I think it’s the easier route to go with an analogy and beat around the bush rather than risk being uncomfortable, I think in this “mining” analogy case, everything was worse and nothing made right with an analogy.

This analogy just sounds creepy, and I’m having a very difficult time accepting that some idiot actually said this to YW. I’m all for encouraging modesty, but modesty is about respecting yourself and recognizing the value you have to God, not the potential value to “professional miners” down the road. And no, you are not an object to be negotiated, sold, or purchased, I don’t care how professional sounding your terms might be. And no adult should be talking about mining a YW. Period.

Trying to be generous here… did someone just think way too hard about the rubies thing in Proverbs 31?

Aha! This analogy was originally given by Muhammad Ali to his daughters, but in a much less creepy way:

When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them.”

He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.” Source: Taken from the book: More Than A Hero: Muhammad Ali’s Life Lessons Through His Daughter’s Eyes.
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So it’s an analogy by a Muslim, so that may explain the hijab-feel to it. The addition of all the excavation equipment and illegal mining in the OP was over the top and kinda messed up any sweetness that Muhammad Ali’s version may have contained.

I was at a YSA fireside with a Seventy and his metaphor for masturbation was “petting the snake”. He went on and on about how you shouldn’t “pet the snake” and don’t do anything to “awaken the snake”. Wow. It was really uncomfortable/hilarious.

How about combining the mine analogy with the little factory analogy? Boys are like little factories and girls are like mines, and something about how mines shouldn’t marry mines and factories shouldn’t marry factories. All kinds of possibilities there!

Maybe I missed this, did anybody mention how there is a ton of potential for inappropriate drill references? You could refer to the size of the drill, the depth of its penetration, and maybe even the intensity of the mining. I’m reminded of a scene from New Girl where the main character has to go shopping with her crush. So of course her crush had to get drill bit extensions, cam shaft lubricant, and quick harderning caulk.

Seriously though, I agree with everybody else that this analogy is very problematic and so creepy I felt like pulling a Cleopatra and petting an actual snake.

Thank you Morgan D. Yes…that is the source of the “icky” feeling, among others, to this analogy. I have worked with mining…I don’t take life lessons from those guys.

I just imagine the miner guy delivering the lesson all proud of himself…and then the women responding “Um…we’re trying to have lunch, can you leave us alone, you old perv”.

Analogies always end on the point of emphasis…they don’t go like that in real life where people respond to someone butting into their life uninvited to tell a story.

I prefer the analogy I used to share with my daughters about striving to be the fruit that grows at the tops of trees…seeking sunlight and enjoying the view from above. The boys that will pursue them up there will have to climb to their level, to show they are worthy of them. If the girls stoop to low levels, they may get picked more often but only from lazy boys who want the easy pickings of low hanging fruit. Where you try to be is what kind of guy you attract to date.

It is more teaching self-respect and to wait for the right person to date, and less around covering up or the actions of others are your fault. (deplorable)