Monday, April 23, 2012

Wikipedia Editors and Chronic Masturbation: A Study

I imagine anyone who edits Wikipedia to be qualified to edit only one entry: masturbation. Seriously, who sits there just waiting for someone to edit a page on Demond Wilson? I can see them clearly in their parents' basement just punishing it to a VHS copy of The Facts of Life when the the bell sounds announcing someone has altered the entry about Lamont Sanford. He springs to his feet, grabs the staff he bought at Comicon, and tries his hardest to sound like Wolverine as he mutters "Time to dole out some hard justice." He sits at the keyboard, locates a questionable claim that Demond Wilson was a Chippendale dancer in the early 70's, makes sure this spurious fact never makes it into the book report of a sixth grader, then goes back to his whacking couch to finish what he started for the seventh time already this morning. More Kleenex, mom.