Big money worries

I really don't know where to start. I've been married since June 2012 and have taken on virtually all the household costs (rented flat) and Wedding related expenses.My Credit Card expenses totaling about £17000. My wife is also in a bad debt situation (credit cards), but registered with Stepchange so she now has about £500 extra per month (this took me nearly two years to convince her as she said she didn't "feel strong enough to deal with the creditors calling the house"). I was hoping that some of this might come to me just so my back wasn't against the wall each month, but I was given an extra £120 a month and she bought some of the food. We are both working. I'm earning about £30000 (just got promotion) and her about £20000. I've been fighting to pay off some of my debt with a view to being debt free and free up some cash so we can at least have an existance, but each month the situation gets worse. I really need to keep a clear credit history as we'll need to rent again soon and all the agencies seem obsessed with performing expensive credit checks. To add to the complication I took out a number of student loans in 92-95 so my slightly increased wage will trigger the repayments. As a final note my wife is now pregnant (11 weeks) which is magical, but faced with expenses bought on by maternity leave and the fact that I'm terrified to being up money matters for fear of my wife be taken ill and possabily losing our child. Any advice would be greatly and kindly received!

If you haven't already, done so: Stop all unnecessary spending; clothes, magazines, cosmetics, meals out, drinks out, outings full stop. There is plenty of fun to be had for free. If she needs maternity wear, she gets a couple of outfits from the charity shop and wears them to death. Until she faces up to real life, I think you need to control all the spending.

baby kit from charity shops, second hand etc - make sure she doesn't go out spending a bomb on a flash new pram, they go for peanuts second hand.

But don't actually say 'until you grow up I need to control the spending' that'll put you in a corner that won't be pleasant.

Do the two of you talk about money? If not then today is the time to start. You are a family now and the money needs to seen as 'family money', with each of you having a little bit of personal spending money. Together work out a plan for baby related costs and maternity leave. Then work on that to plan future costs, and the reduction thereof, and eventually savings. Try to stay positive.

OK you've realsied you have a problem now you need to work out how you're going to deal with it.

First of all your wife is 11 weeks pregnant. She is not ill. She is not incapable. She is pregnant and she is just as capable today as she was 11 weeks ago of dealing with these issues. Its better if she's aware of them now rather than when she comes home clutching a new born and facing months of sleep depravation.

You need to talk to her and make her aware of the situation. Together you need to work out how much you have left after student loan payments and debt payments then work out a way to live on it

Cut your outgoings. Start with your weekly shop its a good way to get control. Set yourself a budget, meal plan and make a shopping list. Drop to the value brands, if you don't like them try the own brands. You'll be amazed what difference it makes to your bill. Try Aldi or Lidl or another deep discounter.

Cut your outgoings.. go to one of hte comparison sites and check you're getting the best deal for your utilties and if you're not switch.

If you have sky or cable either drop it or down grade to a cheaper package. Again switching provider may be the answer.