The best way to introduce Borat is in his own words from the
Borat Television Program shown on E4.

(Borat rides up to the camera in a horse
drawn cart with his wife. They are in a rural village in Kazakhstan).

Borat - Hello English friend. What what what! My name is
Borat. Like English Barry, but people call me Steve. A year ago I come to
England and make many reportings. In this program you can watch them and also
see more about my life in Kazakhstan. I hope you will like. It is nice. I like.

(The title sequence of Borat's own
Kazakhstani television program are then shown. The scenes are as follows:

1.
Seriously wrestling with another man in a gym. Getting thrown to the ground then
smiling at the camera and waving.
2. Walking down the street hand in hand with another man. Laughing with him and
then touching his face.
3. Sitting in a sauna with only a towel on giving 'high fives' to other half
naked men.
4. In a farmyard running away from a stout angry pig.
5. Making a useless attempt to help a farmer restrain a cow by the horns.
6. Getting his hair done.
7. Standing waist deep in water in a massage parlour with his arm around an
elderly man.

The
title comes up: BORAT'S TELEVISION PROGRAMME)

Borat - I come back to my village. I haven't been here one month. I have
been travelling everywhere.

(Borat enters the village. It would be
fair to say that all the villagers look like very poor. Borat is looking very
smart in his suit and neatly trimmed moustache. Borat walks up to his father.
The camera flashes to the face of an elderly woman who looks miserable).

Borat - Hey Papa!

(Borat and his father hug. Borat breaks
off and looks for a young lad who is possibly his younger brother).

Borat - Where is Villo? Hey Vilo! (Borat
hugs him and then breaks off and looks closely at Villo's upper lip). He has grown a
moustache. Since I last came he has now moustache!

(The next scene shows Borat entering his
parent's house and meeting his mother. She is extremely small in comparison to
Borat).

Borat - Hey it's my Mama! (He hugs
her). I haven't seen her for so long. (He stands
back and looks at her). You have grown!

(Borat is then shown standing in a
farmyard next to an enormous pig).

Borat - In Kazakhstan we love animals. This is Igor, he
is my pet. He is a beautiful pig. (Borat pauses obviously
under the impression that he has cracked a joke with clever use of the English language). I joke!
I laughing!

(The scene then cuts to show Borat sitting
with his family eating lunch. Igor the pig is lying on a plate in the middle of
the table).

Borat - Mmmmmmmm. Oh Good! Are there any eyes left?

(The
next few scenes cut quite quickly as Borat introduces some of the ladies in his
life).

Borat - And this one I have to pay money for. (A
plain poorly dressed middle aged lady in the village). But it is worth
it. Wah wah wee wee. (Borat then proceeds to do a dance in
the yard with this lady friend).

(Borat is pictured standing with an
elderly gentleman waste deep in water in a massage parlour. The gentleman looks
in his to be around 80 years old).

Borat - Check this. Here I am at Buitcha Water Spa. These
rejuvenating waters keep everybody young. This oldest man in Kazakhstan.
Almatzie, he is 39 years old. If he live to 40 he will get a telegram from
Premier Nezapagma.

(Borat
is pictured in the communal showers. There are 7 or 8 naked men all getting
showered. Borat is also naked).

Borat - This is the room that I come to party. This is my
friend... High five! (Borat proceeds to introduce all of
his friends giving them all 'high fives' and laughing with them. He then comes
across a man in the corner. There is definitely some tension between Borat and
this man). And this one over here... I don't like. He not my friend. He
scared.

Borat - This is my friend Marie. (Marie
is a butch looking beefy bloke. Borat has his hands behind his head lying on his
back on a massage table. Marie is massaging Borat's lower stomach). I
come here for massage and how you say? Hand Relief? Every Thursday he clean my
hole.

(Borat is pictured standing in the village
with all of his family).

Borat - Thank you for watching my report on England. From
me, my Mama, my Papa, my brothers, my ladies. We say thank you. We hope you like
Kazakhstan. You come and visit, you stay our home. Thank you. I like sex. Bye.

(The credit sequences then shows Borat
dressed in a leather jacket singing Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go on Karaoke).

About this website:I set this up in April 2000 after finding that there was loads of Ali G
pages and none on Borat. I wanted a decent portfolio site for my CV that got a
few hits so I thought I may as well do a site on one of the funniest television
characters to hit TV in recent years. In my opinion I think Ali G / Borat are
amongst the most clever and hilarious characters ever (up there with Basil
Fawlty, Blackadder and Alan Partridge).