A/N: Howdy there! Hope y'all had the merriest Christmases and Happiest Holidays, like, EVER! This is my contribution to the Secret Santa 2013 Extravaganza, although I'm a little bit late as per usual!
To explain one tiny lil' thingymajig, due to a small mix up or kerfuffle or what ever you wish to call it, I originally wrote this to someone else, but once this... kerfuffle was all sorted out, it turned out I was supposed to write for another person, so... Out of discretion I will not reveal the username of the person I originally wrote this for (starts with an A!), but the person this is for now finally, your username will be written at the end of the story!! Go and peek right now, if you must. But if you decide to read the story first (which, let's be honest, even I wouldn't do), I hope you enjoy!

________________________

Baby It's Cold Outside

He couldn’t believe it. This was the man who was supposed to love him, the man who was supposed to know him thoroughly, the man he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with... How could any of those things be true, he wondered, as he removed the last piece of green and red wrapping paper. The item he’d revealed, the one that had made his heart sink from disappointment...

“A pasta maker?” Gerard asked in disbelief. “For our first Christmas as a couple, you get me a pasta maker?”

“You don’t like it?”

“Frank, I burn instant noodles! What am I supposed to do with a pasta maker?!”

Frank felt very offended. Was it his fault that he was a lousy shopper? No! “Well I’m sorry that you’re just impossible to shop for!”

“Me?!” Gerard gasped, chuckling mockingly. “You’re the one that’s never happy with anything! It took me ages to find you that lint remover and you just got me a pasta maker?! Don’t you even know me?!”

Frank’s cheeks flushed crimson from frustration. “A lint remover?! That is WAY worse than a pasta maker!”

“You’re delusional!” Gerard shot back at him, and just like that, all hell broke loose. The peaceful, loving Christmas they had worked hard to build and maintain all day was wrecked. It didn’t really make things any better that both of them were incredibly stubborn and proud; not to mention the fact that this was their first real fight as a couple which just added to the fire.

It got pretty bad. By the end, they were both ready to rip off each others’ heads, which they probably would’ve done, if Gerard, the eternal drama-queen, hadn’t decided to storm out dramatically, shouting that he’d never come back and leaving Frank standing there alone in the apartment they shared. Huffing and puffing, the guitarist plopped down on the couch, still red in the face and still angry like a little bee. A freaking lint remover?!

Frank stood up and went to the table by the window. He noticed that there was quite a snowstorm going on outside. Good, he thought, narrowing his eyes menacingly, at least Gerard would get what he deserves if he catches a cold. Frank poured himself a glass from the bottle of fancy wine they’d bought to share, and glanced at the plastic tree. The decorations on the tree were scarce, as they couldn’t have really afford anything else at the moment, but it was still damn awesome. Then, he noticed the small wrapped box on the bottom of the Christmas tree.

Wondering how Gerard could have possibly wasted his money on a freaking lint remover when they couldn’t even afford a star to put on top of the tree, Frank picked up the box and unwrapped it. As he examined the small machine that was only slightly larger than his fist, for the first time Frank noticed all the lint on every piece of fabric around him. The couch, the curtains, even his clothes were covered with the gross stuff! First he began to pick them off one by one with his nails, but then broke out the big gun - the lint remover. Suddenly he didn’t understand how this small machine could’ve made him so angry, and he looked at the window in horror. Gerard was out there in the storm, all alone, catching all kinds of colds!

All the rage and anger forgotten, the guitarist quickly bundled up warmly into his jacket, mittens and woolly scarf, and ran out after his boyfriend.

No luck. In that snowstorm Frank could barely see past his own nose, let alone find anyone else. For hours he searched the town by foot, as it was useless to drive in this weather, and by the time he finally gave up and began his walk back home, he was completely drenched and covered with snow. He just couldn’t believe that Gerard and his first Christmas together as a couple, which was supposed to be so wonderful and romantic, was now absolutely ruined. And why? Because of a few silly gifts that probably hadn’t been thought through so well? He had no idea where Gerard had gone, and now it was too late. Even if the man decides to forgive him later, they would still remember this Christmas as a complete failure.

With his spirits down, Frank ventured home, and he might’ve cried a little bit if he wasn’t sure the tears would freeze on his face. When he got home, all he wanted to do was go back to that bottle of wine, maybe spike it up with something stronger, fall asleep somewhere warm and just forget about everything to do with lint or pasta. He didn’t even want to see another noodle in his entire life.

But instead of a cold, dark apartment, what Frank found made his heart melt. He followed the faint squeaking noise coming from the kitchen and found his boyfriend standing there by the table, turning the handle of the pasta maker, squeezing out some freshly made home-cooked pasta through it.

“Gerard?!” Frank asked in disbelief.

The man looked up and the look of pure concentration disappeared from his face. “Oh thank god, I was getting worried! You’re all covered in snow!”

“Yeah it’s sort of snowing... What are you doing here?”

Gerard shrugged. “After I left, I got to thinking... And you know what, I’ve actually thought about learning how to cook. And I do like pasta. So I came back, and I found you were gone so I decided to give this thing a try... Making pasta isn’t really that difficult.” Then he sighed and continued: “I really am sorry I got you such a shitty present, I’ll get you a new one, I swear.”

“No, it’s perfect!” Frank gasped. “I never noticed how much lint there is on everything! Actually it’s kind of bothering me right now how much lint you have on your shirt... None of that matters, though, because they’re only presents!”

Gerard nodded, finally letting go of the pasta maker. He went to Frank and removed the snow-covered scarf and jacket off of him. The snow was quickly melting and created puddles on the floor, but neither of them cared. “So... If the lint on my shirt bothers you that much... Do you want to go remove it and then maybe we could make some pasta?”

“I have a better idea,” Frank grinned, grabbing the fabric of Gerard’s shirt and lifting it up. The shirt was soon off and lying on the floor next to the soaking wet jacket and scarf. “Out of sight, out of mind. And baby, yours is the only noodle I ever want to see tonight,” Frank said, his voice low and seductive as he fumbled with Gerard’s belt. “And you know what?” he continued, pressing his mouth against his boyfriend’s ear, making him shiver. “I like my pasta al dente.”

Gerard burst into a hearty laugh and wrapped his arms around the shorter man. “Oh man, you’re just the worst at dirty talk!”

“Merry Christmas,” Frank said, with a small smile.

“Merry Christmas,” Gerard replied before finally kissing his boyfriend. Their first Christmas together as a couple turned out to not be such a disaster after all.

_______________________

A/N: This monstrosity is for Suicide_Room, YAY! See I bolded your username and everything, I hope that makes you feel special. I hope you're not morally opposed to Frerards, and I hope you'll enjoy or have enjoyed, depending on whether you already read the story, what I've whipped up for you! Oh, and I hope you had a very big Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate, and I hope you'll have the absolute bestest New Years' and I hope your face won't be blown off by fireworks. Though I hope your mind will be blown by them... They're pretty awesome.