Thursday, October 26, 2006

So that was Blake's 7

It opens with the crew being rescued by Dorian, a sexy rogue who achieves immortality by luring young men to his glittering cave.

Fans of Blake's 7 please note:- Yes, Dorian is genuinely sexy, rather than just "sexy for someone in Blake's 7".- No, he's not the only one.

The last year of Blake's 7 features genuine boy totty. Servalan is no longer the most attractive man in the show. Suddenly, the series is full of atheltic young men, dashing guards, and a slick of hair gel.

There's an S&M computer called Slave ("thank you, Master"), and vile computer Orac has started behaving like a prissy queen who's had their drag show cancelled.

Best of all, we gain Glynis Barber as Soolin. A very attractive woman with a slightly fat arse. The camera is fascinated by her slightly fat arse. Sadly, she and Dayna have to share the same character, so she spends weeks sat on her fat arse.

Sadly, the crew get a new spaceship that only looks good when it's been blown up, and spend 13 miserable episodes failing to get what they want. Every single time. Honest. They are rubbish.

Each week they meet exciting people, and fail to rob them, or recruit them, or conquer their enemies.

Servalan's still there, but looks increasingly bored at having to execute Fat Gay Comedy Villan Of The Week. She's starting to remind me of Gina G. I can't explain that, but she is.

And then there's the last episode. Which is magnificent bobbins. 45 minutes of not much in a wood, followed by 5 minutes of slo-mo slaughter.

Possibly the best thing about it, surprisingly, is the commentary track to Assassin, where half-way through Jacqueline Pearce unleashes a bitch fest on an actress which lasts till the closing credits.

I shall miss Blake's 7. It's still the oddest thing the BBC made - it hurled itself at greatness and missed spectacularly. And I still want to have a go on the Liberator...