Sweetening The Pill

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

'Sweetening the Pill - a documentary,' a film project that is inspired by my book, reached its funding goal on Kickstarter thanks to your support. We, quite literally, could not be making this film without you. Since last weekend we are now officially in production!

The film is executive produced by Ricki Lake and directed by Abby Epstein, the team behind the groundbreaking documentary 'The Business of Being Born.' We like to say 'Sweetening the Pill' is like 'The Business of Being Born: The Prequel" because we spend so much more time trying to avoid, rather than achieve, pregnancy!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

My book 'Sweetening the Pill' was optioned in February 2014 by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein (the team behind 'The Business of Being Born'). It will be the basis of a documentary exploring the impact of hormonal birth control on women. Currently in development, the film has a planned release for 2016. Read more here.

Monday, March 4, 2013

I have submitted the manuscript for Sweetening the Pill: The Book which will be titled Sweetening the Pill: How We Got Hooked On Hormonal Birth Control. I have used several of the personal stories shared with me here to start off each chapter. I wanted your anecdotes to have equal standing to the opinions of experts. It will be published by Zero Books this summer, but I don't have a date just yet.

I've dedicated the book to every woman who has suffered from the side effects of hormonal birth control and every one of you who has contacted me through this blog to tell me about your experience. Here's hoping we can get the word out even further with this publication - that is, after all, why I started to write.

You can keep up with developments on the book as well as related news at my new Facebook page.

Monday, October 29, 2012

A quick update here. I am ploughing through the book, working towards an April or May 2013 release. However, I found the time to reflect on a visit to the Catalyst Convention for re:Cycling and to make the suggestion that the self-proclaimed sex-positive take up body literacy:

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

I realized that it might be helpful to provide a reading list here for those curious to follow me in the learning process that's behind this blog. So, here that is:

'It's My Ovaries, Stupid!' is a good book to start with.

John Guillebaud's 'The Pill and other hormonal contraceptives' is also a good basic read, if a little outdated. Read his wife's introduction too - it's interesting to compare their outlooks!

Elaine Tyler May's 'America and the Pill' is great and thorough with fascinating interviews with 'regular' women.

Miranda Grey's 'The Optimized Woman' - I have loaned this out three times and then bought it again it's so popular.

'The Pill- Are You Sure It's For You?' Alexander Pope and Jane Bennett - great list of books/sources of info in this one.

'In Our Control' from Laura Eldridge follows her personal journey as well as providing a ton of important information.

Susan Rako's 'No More Periods?' - also CEMCOR's website for supporting research and articles. The topic of hormonal contraception is inextricably linked with menstruation so it's also worth reading books about the industry built around menstrual shame - like 'The Curse' by Karen Houppert.

Barbara Seaman's 'The Doctor's Case Against the Pill' and 'The Greatest Experiment Ever Performed on Women.' Of the same era - Elizabeth Draper's 'Birth Control in the Modern World.'

Barbara Ehrenreich's 'For Her Own Good' and 'Remaking Love' are more general on women's health rights and oppression, but brilliant.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

For the blog re:Cycling I have written a piece on the FDA's final decision on Yaz, Yasmin and other drospirenone-containing birth control pills that was announced last week.

This month I signed a publishing agreement with Zero Books for 'Sweetening the Pill.' I am trying to get my thoughts and feelings on these developments figured out. I've been writing about the birth control pill - and specifically Yasmin - since 2009. I may be cynical and all too aware, but this news still shocks me.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

In the past week I have collaborated with Laura Wershler to come up with a response to the currently raging birth control furor. We wanted to produce a considered, practical guide for women fed up with being dismissed and talked over. A plan for action. We're looking for other homes for it too, to get the information out there as widely as possible. But I wanted to post it here as I often get asked by women that are coming off the Pill what they should expect, what the alternatives are, how to access them and although I like to think my blog is riven with that information, it seems like it'd be useful to have it all in one place.

So, here it is:

As politicians, pundits and priests whip the nation into a frenzy over access to birth control, it’s understandable that women of every political affiliation may have had just about enough.
If women are fed up with this furor over contraception, this daily demonstration that their rights to sexual and reproductive self-determination are vulnerable, then maybe now is the time to do something about it: Throw out your pills, rip off your patch, pull out your ring and take back control. There is more to birth control than prescription medications.

One way to take back power from those who would deny, bully or browbeat you is to not need what they are fighting over. This act of rebellion won’t be easy, and it won’t be for everyone. But if you’re mad as hell and not willing to take it anymore, here’s a primer on how it can be done.

Coming off the Pill:

Many of you may have been using hormonal contraceptives for years, perhaps a decade or more -
for most it will be the birth control pill. By coming off the pill, or other hormonal methods, you will be joining an underground revolution. Over the last few years women have been ditching the pill in droves due to unwanted side effects and environmental concerns, or as a result of reassessing, in their late 20s, a choice they may have made back in their mid-teens. These women have taken to the Internet to unearth information, share experiences and gain advice.

Coming off these contraceptives can be a rocky ride – reports of withdrawal symptoms such as acne outbreaks, mood swings and insomnia abound, lasting anywhere between a few weeks to a few months depending on the individual, the type and the length of time that they’ve been taking the drug. Some women find their menstrual cycles do not return or become regular for up to a year, and may feel like they are experiencing a “second adolescence.” Starting the pill in your teens pushed the pause button on your body’s maturation process; coming off synthetic hormones presses the play button, and your body has to pick up where it left off.

Condoms hold an undeserved bad reputation for being unreliable and icky. Yet, when used consistently and in conjunction with spermicidal jelly or foam, they are just as effective at preventing pregnancy as hormonal contraceptives. And there are better condoms, advanced in technology and design, than the brands you normally see on drugstore shelves. In Japan, where the pill was only legalized in 1999 and condoms are the primary contraceptive choice, innovation and creativity has led to condom brands such as the top-rated Beyond Seven and Crown, which claim to provide a far more natural, comfortable feel and fit. The added benefit? Condoms are still the only way to protect yourself against STIs – and many of you will have been using them in addition to hormonal methods. Spermicidal gels and foams – Conceptrol, Gynol, Encare – are readily available in stores and online. For those who find that these brands cause irritation and infection, or you just don’t like the chemicals, try the green, clean alternative made by Contragel.

Or, like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, get yourself a diaphragm. Once you have been fitted for the correct size at your doctor’s office or Planned Parenthood clinic you can get a prescription to pick one up at a pharmacy or you can buy one online without a prescription. Increased demand from women for this currently little-used, but effective alternative will produce better options and access. Research is underway for a one-size-fits-all diaphragm.

You can increase the effectiveness of these methods even more so by becoming aware of your ovulatory cycle and studying the Fertility Awareness Method – more about that later.

Managing Menstrual Cycle Disorders Without the Pill:

If you were taking hormonal contraception to manage serious menstrual problems, you’re no doubt concerned they will return if you stop taking your pills. Yes, the standard medical treatment for such problems has been to prescribe the pill, but there are other treatments that work.

Dr. Jerilynn Prior, a Canadian endocrinologist with over 40 years of clinical practice, has effectively treated a range of menstrual cycle problems without using hormonal birth control. At the website of the Center for Menstrual Cycle and Ovulation Research founded by Prior, you can find information on how to treat heavy bleeding, painful periods, PCOS, ovarian cysts, endometriosis, and amenorrhea. The bonus to this approach is that it can also restore or protect your fertility, meaning if or when you want to get pregnant, you’ll be able to. Prior includes articles on the website for health-care providers that you can print and take to your doctor.

Look for blogs and websites that share tips and information about menstrual cycles. Bloggers write regularly about menstrual cycle and birth control issues.

Return to Ovulation:

When you come off hormonal contraception, your interest in how your menstrual cycle works -what’s normal, what’s not - may increase. And most women coming off the pill want to know if and when they’re ovulating.

Ovulation is a hot topic. Dr. Prior’s work on the protective powers of ovulation is must reading. It seems that contrary to what women are often told about too much ovulation being bad for them, ovulating consistently with each cycle actually protects women’s breast, bone, and heart health. The health benefits of not using hormonal contraception are worth knowing about.

Fertility awareness, like riding a bicycle, is a life skill. If you can knit a sweater, read a balance sheet, or master French cooking and Adobe InDesign, you can learn to observe, chart and
interpret your menstrual cycle events.

Referred to as natural birth control, the secular Fertility Awareness Method (FAM), and its religious-based counterpart Natural Family Planning (NFP), are based on observing and interpreting scientifically proven signs of fertility to prevent or achieve pregnancy and monitor your reproductive health. FAM is absolutely not the same thing as the ineffective Rhythm Method, which tries to predict fertility based on the length of past cycles.

Don’t believe those who tell you that FAM doesn’t work; women using it can achieve effectiveness rates as high as the pill – 99.4 percent. But unlike Catholic NFP, FAM is pro-choice and incorporates barrier methods, emergency contraception and abortion.

You can find certified instructors through the Fertility Awareness Network or Justisse Healthworks, which trains Holistic Reproductive Health Practitioners who teach the Justisse
Method and provide clinical support to women struggling with messed-up cycles. Skype and online webinars offered by orgs like Red Tent Sisters make it possible to connect with a FAM teacher no matter where you live.

Retooling Relationships:

Talk to your partner, boyfriend, husband or lover about planning for a hormonal contraceptive-free future. If you’re single you should know that using the Fertility Awareness Method in conjunction with condoms with added spermicide during your fertile phase has been shown to be 98.2% effective at preventing pregnancy – so it’s just as suitable for the one-night stand as the committed relationship.

Generally, women report an increased libido when they come off the pill, but if you've been on it for your entire relationship it’s possible you’ll feel differently towards your partner. Your body's natural hormone cycle plays a part in physical attraction.

For men, too, hormonal birth control has long provided a sense of reassurance for spontaneous, worry-free sex, and so it is important to discuss with your partner the effectiveness and ease of use of other methods. Perhaps he’s never liked condoms - shop around and have fun trying out different kinds like the Beyond Seven and Crown barely-there brands. If you’re following FAM and in a monogamous relationship, you won’t need condoms when you’re not fertile.

Partners may benefit in other ways: Many women are more responsive to sex once free of synthetic hormones. If, to be super-safe, you want to avoid penetrative sex during your fertile phase, get creative. Use this time to explore the imaginative and the experimental.

If you chart your menstrual cycle, involve your partner, so that he, too, can be aware of the days that you are fertile. Do your own study – find out if your guy can hear (in your tone of voice) and smell when you are ovulating. Knowing that you can only get pregnant during these days will allay his anxieties, as it does your own. Sharing this new experience can bring you closer and foster intimacy.

Some guys get a geeky satisfaction out of their new understanding. In fact, Ernest Hemingway – the ultimate man’s man – charted his first wife’s cycle on the wall of their Paris apartment.

Taking back control:

For decades, women have been quitting hormonal contraception for various personal and health reasons. With the ongoing culture war over contraception, it remains to be seen how many might be compelled to give it up for political reasons, taking back control of their bodies from politicians, pundits, priests and drug companies.

Laura Wershler is a pro-choice sexual and reproductive health advocate and writer who has volunteered or worked for organizations affiliated with International Planned Parenthood Federation for 25 years. She supports increased awareness of and access to non-hormonal contraceptive methods.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

This week I've written a piece for the Society for Menstrual Cycle Research's blog, re:Cycling, regarding the difficulty of criticizing the Pill at a time when the Republican front runner in the Presidential race is calling for a ban on contraceptives. It's an issue I've long tried to figure out. There were some very interesting comments in response to this post.

Dr Jerilynn Prior of CEMCOR asked, "When will The Pill no longer be a sacred cow for industry, for physicians and for women?"

Jacqui added, "You have to hand it to the pharmaceutical companies: they are that good at what they do. We have been and still are sliced and diced by these guys. They have the entire game stitched up so that they make the rules, they effectively control the so-called independent bodies that are supposed to regulate them, and with only a small percentage of doctors reading independent medical literature – 10% is the statistic in Switzerland – and presumably only reading what the pharmaceuticals send them, it feels like EVERYONE is on Team Pill except the few people like Holly speaking out."

Last week, in the wake of Obama's so-called 'compromise' on religious employers providing free birth control through their insurance policies to employees, the Washington Post asked me whether I thought the fight over access to birth control was distracting us from considering the potential health risks of the Pill and other hormonal contraceptives. Here's the article that came out of that:

Of course, I don't think the religious Right is the only obstacle that is stopping us criticizing the Pill - I think the power of the pharmaceutical companies is a far bigger factor, otherwise in the UK and Europe the debate would be more open and honest than here in the US, and it is not.

It's just interesting to me, and disturbing admittedly, how little concern has been shown over Yaz and Yasmin dabacle considering the sheer number of women effected and involved in law suits. That Rick Santorum is out there wanting to do away with all contraception, at this particular time, I think is one reason behind this, but I don't think I could say it would be any different if this information about Yaz had come out last year instead.

As I have written about in this blog - the position of the Pill, I believe, has to do with ingrained historical and social concepts of women and women's bodies, it has to do with misogyny within the medical industry, it has to do with how women see themselves and how they are willing to change themselves, it has to do with support for women using the Pill being built into the structure of our society.

Consider that there is no direct-to-consumer advertising in the UK or Europe, plus for the most part birth control is free through a national healthcare system. The power of the pharmaceutical industry is not as obvious and overt, although it is still present in the companies' relationships with doctors. But they do not receive visits at their surgeries from representatives plugging certain products. The industry's influence has to be more subtle, more undercover. And yet women are prescribed and take the Pill just as enthusiastically in these countries.

There is so much more behind this silence.

I added these thoughts as an addendum to my piece for re:Cycling:

The power of the pharmaceutical industry is a major factor in this issue. Doctors are massively influenced by money, research and advertising by the workings of this industry. Its primary aim is not to save lives or alleviate suffering – but to make money. Saving lives and alleviating suffering are essentially by-products of this drive. The concept of suffering and illness is stretched and manipulated in order to create voids that can be filled with profit-making medications.

The Pill has a huge market – all women that are fertile and want to avoid pregnancy and now these days all women who are fertile and want to avoid acne, moodiness for a few days a month, bloating before their period, periods in entirety….

I frequently consider other pills that have been revealed as dangerous and the reaction there was to them. I compare and contrast, and see that SOME pills are considered critically. But often the machine makes it seem like we have a need that is more pressing than potential side effects.

I recall Seroxat/Paxil – the anti-depressant that can make young people more depressed and suicidal – and there the debate went along the lines of…well how do we know if it’s the drug doing this or if it’s just the person’s natural state? Even when a mildly depressed person suddenly wants to jump off a cliff. And when people complained that when they tried to come off of the drug they had horrible withdrawal symptoms – and people were committing suicide – the answer given by the industry was – well, don’t come off it then! This all seems very similar to the Pill – it makes women depressed, anxious, it makes them have flu-like symptoms, adrenal fatigue – well, how do we know? They’re taking it for much of their fertile lives, so maybe this is just normal changes that would happen anyway. And they have withdrawal symptoms coming off of the Pill? Well, don’t come off then! – until you want a baby and then we as an industry can send you in the direction of infertility drugs, and they’ll sort you out.

Just like with drugs for psychological disorders there are some people who really, truly benefit from taking them – it totally stops them suffering and turns their lives around – but for a big middle section of people (those with mild depression, grieving, issues that need to be helped through therapy – or for the Pill say, those with slightly heavy periods, some pain, those who just have light, regular periods) drugs that you take every day are not the answer – but they ARE the answer for an industry looking to increase its market. I understand, for example, that some people with, say, ‘attention deficit disorder’ really benefit from a drug (I assume they do) – but there are tons of adults, and children, who have mild concentration issues, are not being attended to at school properly, are doing a job that doesn’t satisfy them, who are going through a difficult phase, for which drugs are not the right choice. The industry’s aim is to open up markets, open up markets and find new customers.

Yet I see a lot more critical thinking out there in regards to psychiatric medications than in discussion of hormonal contraceptives. So there’s more at play here. The threat of the Religious right, yes. But more than that. As I write about in my blog – acceptance of the Pill, enthusiasm for the Pill, I believe comes from ingrained historical and social concepts of women and women’s bodies, and from the resulting willingness of women to change and behave in certain ways in response to these concepts.

In response, Heather D. summed it up with - "There are larger gender issues involved here... (we can) link this to larger issues of women being accustomed to molding themselves for others’ gazes and purposes. Therefore this is about large-scale ideological forces as well as large-scale economic and political forces."

Those that are criticizing the Pill are immediately tagged as having a religious agenda. They are dismissed because the religious Right is the only group of people that are given a voice and a platform - or that takes that platform by force. Those, like me, who have very reasoned concerns about hormonal contraceptives are lumped in with the group that takes up the most column inches in the papers. In a sense, it's an easy and simple explanation for any criticism used by those who have not done much thinking about the Pill. It works to elevate the Pill's position even higher, and to undermine even the most scientific and least religious arguments. Putting us all in the category of 'crazy' allows everyone to stop thinking about what we're actually saying.

It's an odd experience to watch Jon Stewart, say, or Bill Maher or Rachel Maddow take the populist stance in protection and praise of hormonal contraceptives. I don't expect to know better than them.

There are plenty of women coming off the Pill, and plenty of women who have vowed to never use it again, and many who try to talk to their friends about the potential health issues but we, as a group, can't find our footing and get organized when we feel the need to be guarded against accusations of Catholicism and misogyny. It's a fight for sure, but it's a fight worth having.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Today Ms. magazine posted a piece I wrote regarding recent developments surrounding Yaz and Yasmin. As I outline here, and to quickly precis - it has been discovered in the last couple of months that Bayer intentionally hid research regarding the drugs' blood clot-causing risks. Multiple pieces of new research have shown these two birth control pills, and any of the generic kinds that contain the same synthetic progesterone - drospirenone, hold a risk of causing the women using them to develop a blood clot at a rate that is 50% to 75% higher than other birth control pills. The FDA called for a reappraisal. The decision made by a panel of advisers to the FDA had the potential to take Yaz and Yasmin off the market. The panel voted by a slim margin to keep the pills available, stating that the benefits outweighed these risks. An independent watchdog group - POGO - investigated and found that at least four of the advisers had significant financial ties to Bayer (the pharmaceutical company that makes Yaz and Yasmin). Anyway, I'll let you read the piece at Ms. as I explain it far more clearly. But I would like to post a link to the letter written by representatives of POGO to the FDA which outlines this finding, and more:

Otherwise, there was Jezebel, the women's issues-orientated blog. The only other feminist or female-centric blog I could find that covered this story. I would have been pleased if they hadn't written something so very arrogant and ignorant.

Right within the first paragraph the Jezebel writer claims to be more concerned (and angry, apparently) that there was ANY coverage of the FDA reappraisal and the findings regarding the blood clot risks, than that this massively important information on one of the most popular birth control pills had been at first covered up and then disregarded. According to this piece we should have all just shut up and kept quiet about our concerns over Yaz. All the women that suffered with blood clots - and as a result heart attacks and strokes - should have kept their problems to themselves. The families of the women who died should have stayed silent. Why? Because talking about Yaz and Yasmin having a 50% to 75% higher likelihood of seriously injuring or killing you than other birth control pills is going to make women stop taking the Pill. And women who stop taking the Pill become pregnant. So women like this one here:

Well, according to Jezebel, they just don't deserve the attention. I was horrified to read this piece. I couldn't believe Jezebel could publish and support such backward logic. I'm so angered by this post that I hate to even link to it here. Jezebel doesn't fully explain exactly what the new findings on these drugs say, the writer just skips right to telling us that we shouldn't be worried because all things considered pregnancy holds a much higher risk of giving you a blood clot.

Like I've said in my Ms. piece this suggests that there are only two states of being women get to live in - pregnant or on hormonal birth control. Strange that, as I've lived in an entirely different state - still fertile, not pregnant, not even a scare, and using condoms,spermicide and fertility awareness for my birth control. Non-hormonal methods of contraception hold no risk of blood clots. None. But I saw not one article remark on these alternatives. Surely if we are so worried that women will be scared into coming off the Pill then we should at least educate them on their other choices to prevent pregnancies? Instead, Jezebel decides we all just need to stop criticizing the Pill. We shouldn't let women know the dangers involved. They're too dumb to understand fully and they'll just go and get pregnant - is Jezebel's message. Talk about 'Trust Women' ! - this is the name of a new campaign advocating access to birth control.

The writer decides that Jezebel is not 'the media' (which is talked about more and more so as though it were a entirely separate entity to society and not just a bunch of people working jobs like writing and editing and living in the same world as everyone else). 'The media' - this piece says - is unable to convey information in a 'non-hysterical' fashion. If 'the media' is hysterical then I think Jezebel fits right in. What could be more reactionary and hysterical of a supposed feminist blog than saying, in the wake of very important findings regarding a very popular drug used solely by women, to say we should all just shut up about it because otherwise we'll have an unwanted baby epidemic on our hands. Rather than presenting the information and considering that perhaps the reason women come off the Pill and get pregnant accidentally as a result is because they are not properly informed of all their choices and have little to no body literacy as a result of the Pill hegemony.

Jezebel doesn't think there's anything 'scandalous' about these drugs. The writer mixes up moral objections to birth control with practical, real world, actual scientific findings that are making an important point about one particular kind of birth control that many, many women use. In conclusion, she says that criticism of the Pill plays into the hands of far-right wingers who want to ban it. It's true that the neo-conservatives are preventing women from understanding their choices. The conservatives are preventing accurate information coming out, yes, but they're having a lot of help from writers like this who are doing the exact same thing. The conservatives are doing it to supposedly protect women from sex, and protect society from sex, and the Jezebel feminists are doing it because? They love the Pill unconditionally? They want to protect women from real knowledge of their own bodies? They are just plain hell-bent on stopping unwanted pregnancies no matter what the cost? That's funny, because I think there are conservatives who believe that's what they're doing too.

I do happen to find the Pill 'morally objectionable' and I am not a neo-con or far right-winger. I have an agenda. Jezebel tries to pretend it does not. My agenda is to raise awareness of the potential negative physical and emotional impact of the birth control pill. It is to make women aware this is not their only choice. It is to ask that women view the Pill with a critical eye and not just swallow the mostly falsified information they receive through doctors, teachers and yes, 'the media.' That includes you, Jezebel.

I was heartened to read the comments on this blog post, published by a website advocating the use of clean, environmentally-friendly cosmetics:

I found it interesting that they included such a cautious disclaimer and introduction to the post. Although I don't 'judge' anyone who takes birth control pills (hey, I took them myself for ten years!), I do reserve the right to be as dogmatic as I want to be. In fact, I think considering the cacophony of voices promoting hormonal birth control, singing its praises and even sending out misleading half-truths in a bid to blind women - I take it as my absolute responsibility to rage loudly and as often as I can. I have for guest blog posts been asked to temper my views and I don't like to precisely because I feel the pro-Pill brigade (and by pro I mean zealously enthusiastic as a rule) don't need any of the help they'll gain by me being wishy washy about my thoughts.

That said, this post was heartening as many women offered sound advice for how to cope with coming off the Pill. Particularly regarding the blogger's concern of increased acne. This is what women need - open, honest discussion about how the Pill effects their lives. I have often heard women say their main fear for coming off the Pill is the return of acne. I myself struggled with this. I still do. I am in the process, two years off the Pill, of cleaning out my diet to address lingering issues. However, I know that if bad skin is the price to be paid for not being on the Pill - considering how brilliantly improved the rest of my life has been as a result - I can get by. I find it interesting that these women seem to have arrived at the decision to come off the Pill via an interest in healthy diet and environmentalism. For me, it seems to be the other way around - once I came off the Pill I started looking critically at the rest of what I was putting in and on my body. I started wondering what other half-truths I had been fed. I started looking into the health benefits I'd assumed - not without help - to be found in meat and dairy, for example. I am now vegan.

The writer says she was on the Pill for two years and decided to come off. She explains why:

"The best way I can put it is, I sort of felt like a prisoner in my own body. I’m not sure why, and no, I can’t elaborate, but something never felt quite right. It was FINE. But FINE has never been all that appealing to me."

She also didn't have her period for a year after coming off. This happens to so many more women than the explanations suggest. I read again and again how the Pill doesn't impact beyond the time you stop taking it. To be honest, I sometimes feel that somewhere between its chemical impact and the psychological pathways it built in my brain, I will never be the person I would have been if I hadn't taken the Pill. When you spend so long anxious, depressed and paranoid - the synapses in your mind become fused to make you react to certain situations in a way that is more stressy than is strictly necessary. It's like, you come off the Pill and THEN you also have to deprogram yourself from all the behaviours you'd come to use to cope with how the Pill made you feel.

However in the last two years I have changed jobs several times, most recently taken on more responsibility than I've had in any position previously, got and stayed married, moved to a city I'd only visited for one week and all without having a nervous breakdown. I think this suggests what I experienced when on Yaz was not due to stressful circumstances. That I was taking Yaz when I was racked with fear, dread and anxiety was not a coincidence. I'm going to say, and I'll keep on saying it (loudly, so Jezebel can hear through their arrogant bubble) that coming off the Pill was one of the best decisions of my life. My experience of life has entirely changed for the better. I would never take the Pill again.

This week I called up one of the main lawyers involved in the 10,000 law suits against Bayer. I called up the US Drug Watchdog group. They both said they could not believe there was not more of an outcry over the FDA ruling that Yaz and Yasmin's benefits outweigh their risks. Especially considering the corruption that helped this decision come about.

Let's quickly recap that these drugs prevent pregnancy with the same effectiveness as all other birth control pills. So, the FDA was saying which benefits of these drugs exactly outweigh the risks? Their ability to clear up acne and prevent bloating? Because if so, that is ridiculous.

I said in response that I knew too well why there wasn't an outcry and it had to do with no coverage in magazines or on TV, sure, but it also had to do with the fact that we're not allowed to talk about it. We are not allowed to criticize the Pill - and that includes Yaz and Yasmin - and that includes even if they injure and kill women. Thank you Ms. for publishing my post. Please share it around. Not for my ego, but because it is vitally important.

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What's this all about?

At the end of 2008 I began to experience overwhelming anxiety, depression, debilitating brain fog, and intense panic attacks which effected my work and relationship. For six months I thought I was losing my mind. After questioning every aspect of my life, and my sanity, I eventually discovered it was not me, but the birth control pill I was taking.

I soon discovered many other young women were dealing with similar side effects.

Millions of healthy women take a powerful medication every day from their early teens to their late thirties - the Pill - but few know how this drug works or the potential side effects. Contrary to cultural myth, the birth control pill affects every organ and function of the body. Depression, anxiety, paranoia, rage, panic attacks - just a few of the psychological effects of the Pill for half of the women who pop these tablets during their lifetimes.

If you have questions, queries or your own story to share you can email me at: hollygriggspall@gmail.com