I went to a public high school my freshman year, but my parents took me out and I was transferred to a Private Catholic high school in 1977 when I was 16 years old. I am a survivor of CSA when I was a sophomore in high school.

I had a priest as my school counselor as well as other classmates. The abuse started right away and consisted of 4-10 visits over two years. There was another CSA thing that happened in the school's gym shower. I don't want to go over any of these as I am recovering from them.

Every day I would come home from school and demand that I get sent back to the public high school. My mother would ask me why and all I could say was "I can't tell you". This would continue every day until I graduated from that school.

Over 36 years of suppressing this abuse that also included 2 suicide attempts, depression, anxiety attacks, bipolar to many to count of psychiatrists I finally got answers.

My sister was talking to a therapist who was helping her son break free of learning skills. I went to see this person on February 6, 2013 and I was shocked. I found out that my life stopped in 1977 when the abuse started and never stopped. Over 3-5 months I would come in weekly and pull more stuff from my sub-conscious.

I tried all sorts of websites for Clergy abuse but I found one called SNAP - Survivors of those Abused by Priests, but they were of no help. I contacted two attorneys to see if I had a case against the school. One attorney took my case even though the other one said that my case was outside of the SOL - Statute of Limitations. I finally had my day in court and got a nice settlement for my recovery.

I told my managers and some of my co-workers at my job of the abuse and my case. Our company had everyone watch a sexual harassment video and and sign a form that we all would avoid any confrontation with this. But 2 co-workers made poor judgements in front of me which cause flash backs to my abuse. After each episode, I had to contact a manager which resulted in suspensions. A couple of Sundays ago, I was working in my department(appliances) and I was approached by a customer. He asked if I was Bill as he was looking at my name badge. He then proceeded to call me every name in the book and later tell me that there are dangerous people outside the store who want to take me out. I since quit and working on my recovery.

I am weight-listed for the Weekend of Recovery in October and hope that this is the right place for my recovery, help me move forward and forgive.

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Small Stones"Those who remove mountains begin by carrying away small stones"

"I am in charge of how I fell and I choose HAPPINESS" from The Law of Attraction.

victor-victim,Thanks for the welcome. My abuse as in my counselor's office which was also his bedroom.

I thought I was the only person this priest abused but I was number 5 of 6 who came forward. He also harmed kids in Ohio, Indiana, California, Illinois and Michigan. Three of six cases were from my high school but I think more have not come forward.

Part of breaking my silence that including threats from the priest that said "if you tell anyone, when I die I will going to hell". This perp died before my case and we were able to find out that he was honored for 70 years in 2011 of being a priest even though he was removed of his duties in 2005.

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Small Stones"Those who remove mountains begin by carrying away small stones"

"I am in charge of how I fell and I choose HAPPINESS" from The Law of Attraction.

I've only been here a short time, but welcome to the site. I 'm sorry it was necessary to find a place like this, you've made the right decision in sharing with like minded people. The thing I've found most helpful is to realize that I'm not alone, and the atmosphere of a non judgmental acceptance and understanding of why I'm like I am is certainly nice to feel.I hope you find Mike Lew's book as helpful as I have in trying to deal with some of the issues.

I don't know about forgiveness. I haven't been very successful with that, but I've at least forgiven myself for a lot of stuff. I would imagine it would be pretty hard, if not impossible, to forgive someone who used their authority as well as the cloth of religion to carry out the abuse. It's good to hear you were able to get compensation, but it's a poor substitute for a few years of your life (to say nothing of the after effects).Thanks for sharing. Good luck and Godspeed as you continue on the path of healing and recovery.

I found out that my life stopped in 1977 when the abuse started and never stopped.

I'm sure many of us can understand this sentiment. Take care, brother.

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"Shine on foreverShine on benevolent sunShine down upon the brokenShine until the two become oneShine on upon the severedDivided, I'm withering awayShine on upon the many, light our wayBenevolent sun"

I am glad you have found us and and willing to share. It took me a while to even write an introduction. I, as you, have struggled with forgiveness. Until I internalized how bad it really was I could not recover. Though my sexual abuse began 52 years ago, I did not resolve these issues until September 2013.

May you find what you need to heal. May you find this site as supportive as I have.

May God Bless you and may the light of His countenance shine upon you.

When is the right time to discuss everything that happened to me when I was abused by the priest on this site. There are a lot of trigger stuff which I have already told my family about and my attorney. Should I bring it up at WoR next week? Please let me know

Thanks Bill61

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Small Stones"Those who remove mountains begin by carrying away small stones"

"I am in charge of how I fell and I choose HAPPINESS" from The Law of Attraction.

The right time to discuss your story is when you feel comfortable revealing details of your story. There is no definitive right time. Each of us is different. Our recoveries happen at different speeds and we reveal in different ways. Some people let it out in small amounts, and other tell it all at once and just get it out.

My T gave me good advice and told me to only let out what I could handle being disappointed with if the big reveal didn't go well. You can always reveal more, but you can't take it back.

If you feel more comfortable telling your story to just one or two people at first, you can send PMs to a few members.

Use your past as your guide and think of instances when you've had to reveal something about yourself and then decide if you want to duplicate that situation or modify it in some way. Also, look at how other MS members have told their stories. If there is an example that stands out for you that you think is the perfect way to tell, then imitate that.

The same advice holds true for the WoR weekend. They may give you more direction about what to say, when to say it and how to say it.

Again, this is your story. It is unique to you, although there will be similarities to other's stories. Tell it in your own way in manner that fits your style and that will support your personality. Good luck, Bill. You'll have a lot of support here.

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