June 19, 2013

A tip from a list of tips. Guess what the goal to be achieved is before you click through.

ADDED: David in the comments guesses longevity, which is wrong. I don't think commenter David is David Sedaris, but in the new David Sedaris book, Sedaris describes his father's formula for longevity:

The secret, he tells me, is to eat seven gin-soaked raisins a day.

“Blond or dark?” I asked.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Could I possibly cut out the gin part? Marinate them in, I don’t know, coffee or something.”

“Do you want to live or don’t you?” he asked.

When I told my father about Dan’s prophecy [that the first person who’ll reach the age of two hundred has already been born], he said, “Aw, baloney. A twenty-year-old kid in Holland, what does he know?”

“He learned it in school.”

“No, he didn’t,” my father said. “The guy was just pulling your leg.” He had a similar opinion of the plastic bags hanging in Francine’s doorway [for keeping the flies away]. “It’s just a load of BS.”

I indulge my inner prick instead by clicking off tickle-ya-with-a-feather made up series by pulling out of one's ass, human-interest in jacking off articles that spread their wisdom over two pages. Instead of one page like the National Geographic photos of animals.

Splooge. Ah, that was great. I like the way my legs go paralyzed and out of control at the same time.

I been jacking that inner prick a lot lately especially relating to right wing political sites. Twice this morning already. Linked to something of right-wing interest but blocked first by something that ABSOLUTELYMUSTBEFUCKINGLOOKEDATFIRST and it pisses me off so I leave. Here is something I wold like right-wing site operators and other jack off related sites to internalize:

Just last month, my doctor told me about this home cure, after a prescription meant to remedy my stiff and sore left knee failed to do anything. Awaiting results, but in the meantime, gin-soaked raisins are a novel way to start my day.

Just last month, my doctor told me about this home cure, after a prescription meant to remedy my stiff and sore left knee failed to do anything. Awaiting results, but in the meantime, gin-soaked raisins are a novel way to start my day.