This isn’t a metaphor, I assure you. I’m really going to do a poem about suspenders. They hold your pants up. See? Not a metaphor. Suspenders really hold pants up. I’m not going to try to sneak in, Some silly philosophy, About life being pants, And suspenders being some, Some, Some new approach to keeping yourself held up, Despite the gravity of life, Pulling you down. I’m not going to relate, The elasticity of suspenders, To some yo-yo effect, That most people, Myself included, Have in regard to their inner veracity. No sir-e-bob. When I wrote a poem about suspenders, It’s only about the X shaped, Single purpose, Mono-functional adornment, That helps to keep a persons pants up. Well, Sometimes I suppose people wear them for humors effect… Like a bow tie. But that, My friends, Would be a poem for another day.