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June 2016

06/29/2016

This week we've asked our In-House Dating Coach Jolene to share her thoughts on finding a fulfilling Long Term Relationship:

It doesn't get more fool-proof than this.

Keep in mind most of you who read this will think "that makes sense" but will undoubtedly go back to your regular dating patterns because they make you feel like it's not you. So please try something different this summer. You'll be glad you did!

Step 1: How to identify if you are ready for a relationship

Take a good look at your life. If it is messy, you are probably not going to be the best partner. Start working on yourself! Please understand there is always room for growth in all areas of dating but this is the jumping off point. Make sure you are: *Financially independent*Your home life is organized*You have achieved a healthy physical appearance*Your emotional health is in a positive place

Step 2: How to get into a relationship

Dating! This is the smart way to get into a relationship. Most singles just do not do it the right way. They go on one date and then they are done.

I have interviewed thousands of singles over the years and everyone says it takes at least 3 dates to tell if there could be long-term potential, yet everyone also states that they "know" in the first 15 minutes. These are wildly different statements and goes to show you how little effort people actually put into building romantic relationships. Choosing a partner is one of the most important aspects of your happiness.

My advice: stop judging altogether. Look at each date as an experience. When you are on the date stop deciding whether this person is the one and just listen. Simply get to know them. Let them get to know you! The key to developing relationships is going on second and third dates regularly. Talk on the phone more over texting. Say yes more. Give someone a real chance.

Step 3: How to know if it's the right relationship

Clients get so focused on looking forward that they do not live in the moment. Be present in your current state of happiness! No one wants to hear this but the truth is only time will tell. So have some fun and stop worrying about it!

Step 4: How to grow your relationship

*Respect yourself and your boundaries. You know what works for you in a relationship. *Respect your partner and their boundaries as well. *Stop hiding from who you really are and communicate it to your partner. Tell them how you feel and what you want. This is how you build respect and trust. *Work on intimacy; a healthy sex life is important for couples. *If you like to see your partner happy, then do what makes them feel happy more. Sometimes, it's just that simple.

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."