Christian Men Reveal Their 12 Reasons Why They Don’t Date or Marry Christian Women; Part 2

In my previous article, I asked why do Christian men date and marry outside of the church. Referencing some of the high profile Christian pastors and leaders who have turned to Hollywood to find their mates (Pastor Devon Franklin and actress Meagan Good, Gospel artist Israel Houghton and singer/talk show host Adrienne Bailon, Pastor Jamal Bryant and R&B singer Tweet, etc.).

In that article, I talked to single Christian women to get the reasons they've encountered as to why they were being overlooked for less-traditional church girls and women outside the church altogether.

Little did I know that the men would be so vocal regarding this topic. I received countless emails, social media post and instant messages regarding this topic. The men were ready to talk and express their feelings regarding this hot button topic. Ladies, hold on because some of the answers you might not be ready for. And also, note, this is not an attack on all Christian women; it's just the perception of these men. So please remember, I am just the messenger.

[Before going any further, I would like to apologize to the men. In my previous article, my intention was to share what seemed to be taking place more frequently in the church. It was never to imply that “all” Christian men were guilty of this behavior. So I apologize if that sentiment was implied.]

Here are the top 12 answers that I repeatedly received as to why Christian men (between the ages of 30-55) date outside of the church.

Your Pastor, Deacon and Church Family

There should only be one man in your relationship and that is the man you are dating—not your pastor’s opinions, statements or sermons. These men say they don’t want to hear what the pastor had to say. When Christian women constantly state “Pastor said this and Pastor said that…”It turns a man off. He wants to be the only one that you admire and quote, not your pastor. (Plus, he’s uncomfortable that another man has so much sway over you.)

About the author

Judi Mason wrote 61 articles on this blog.

Judi Mason is an Empowerment Strategist, whose mission is to empower You to become your best authentic self. As an accomplished author, Judi has garnered much success with her self-help books and workshops; including her popular Girl Talk: Relationship 101 events- which was birthed from her best-selling book, The Relationship Chronicles- Real Love, Straight Talk No Drama. As a sought after speaker, Judi uses multiple platforms from the marketplace to ministry;
to enable individuals to pursue and fulfill their God ordained purpose with passion, in life, love and entrepreneurship.

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7 Strategies to Use the Power of Your Womanly Ways to Transform Your Relationship

Last week, I had an interesting cab ride with a driver who spent the entire drive reminding me and my coworkers about the power we have as women.

Our male Ghanaian driver, Kofi, was a self-proclaimed how-to-treat-women guru. He told a few stories of men and how their poor choices led to certain consequences. He also talked about how strong and beautiful women are. What struck me most about our conversation, was the wisdom he shared on what specifically women could do with our power in relationships.

Here were a few of my takeaways from our conversation on how women can truly use their girl power.

The power to forgive

Many believe that women are quicker to forgive than men. There is power in forgiveness that benefits us as women. It allows us to get back to happy sooner and releases a burden we sometimes choose to carry. Tapping into that forgiveness power more often could also prevent a lot of unnecessary stress.

The power to leave an imprint

Whether it’s on a man or within an organization, women have the power to make a mark in this world. We are trailblazers who give whatever it is our everything. When we, women, commit to something, we often engage our motherly instinct to nurture and care for that something—even if it’s our relationship. That power, within our relationships, reminds men of the type of good woman they have at home.

The power to create a space of love and peace

We have the power of being a person others are excited to be around. We can choose to dwell in a home with nonstop drama, or we can be intentional about how we resolve conflict and make our homes a place of peace.

The power to empower our men

As women, our men rely on us so much. In many instances, we are providers of love, encouragement, faith and support. There’s nothing more inspiring than a strong woman who keeps her family together. Women can choose to build up our men with loving words as well as actions that further demonstrate our support.

The power to make our communities stronger

Our voices alone are powerful. In neighborhoods across this nation, many women stand as pillars of their community. When women unite there is nothing we can’t accomplish. With our fearlessness, we can stand up for rights and speak out on injustices and make change happen.

The power to spread love

Women love hard, and that love is healing to those who receive it. From our men to our children, the love we give makes others feel like they, too, can take on the world.

The power of choice

How we use all that power is actually a choice. A few women forget they have it altogether. Others misuse their womanly power and hurt those they love. While some own it and know exactly how to use their power for good.

As women, we are more powerful than we know. Again, it’s time we tap into that power more often and enjoy the benefits that come along with being strong, beautiful and powerful women.

BMWK, women how are you using your power? Men, what have you noticed about your wife’s power?

About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 632 articles on this blog.

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and Author of A Conversation Piece: 32 Bold Relationship Lessons for Discussing Marriage, Sex and ConflictAvailable on Amazon
. She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Essence and Ebony Magazines, and named one of the top blogs to read now by Refinery29. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. To find out more about Tiya, and her coaching, visit www.thelifeandlovecoach.com and www.theboldersister.com.