June 26, 2015 – Readings in Recovery: Today’s Gift from Hazelden

NewcomerI’ve heard people talk about “firing” their sponsors, about sponsors “firing” their sponsees. I find that term disillusioning I thought we were here to help one another.

SponsorHuman relationships change, for all sorts of reason, and there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that reality. Sponsors, like sponsees, are just people in recovery, growing and working the Steps; we don’t always handle things perfectly. One sponsor may take on more than he or she is really prepared to handle; with phone calls coming day and night from an overload of sponsees, frequency or quality of communication may be inadequate. Another sponsor may enjoy being bossy and have trouble recognizing the difference between passing on program experience and trying to impose his or her will in areas where personal choice is appropriate. A sponsor may discover that a sponsee lacks the desire for recovery or has significant problems in an area in which the sponsor has no experience.

When differences are resolved by talking and listening, relationships grow and deepen. Are we avoiding necessary confrontation with ourselves or others? Or does growth, this time, mean that it’s appropriate to separate? Honesty, courage, and love are qualities that help us make transitions in our relationships.