Susan K. Crewshttp://susankcrews.com
Hopeful While We WaitMon, 18 Sep 2017 23:24:49 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.8.1112103181How God Helps Us “Be Prepared!” for the Stormshttp://susankcrews.com/god-helps-prepared-storms/
http://susankcrews.com/god-helps-prepared-storms/#respondFri, 15 Sep 2017 11:42:57 +0000http://susankcrews.com/?p=1124Last week, I was deeply concerned about my loved ones who live in the projected path of Hurricane Irma. I continually watched the flurry of news reports, and by the end of the storm, I had wasted a lot of time in front of the tv, and my mind was overwhelmed by the input. The […]

]]>Last week, I was deeply concerned about my loved ones who live in the projected path of Hurricane Irma. I continually watched the flurry of news reports, and by the end of the storm, I had wasted a lot of time in front of the tv, and my mind was overwhelmed by the input. The advanced information was helpful and necessary, but totally useless to anyone who did not heed the warning to “Be Prepared!”

Surviving the major storms of life involves wisdom and preparation.

Each day, we make a living in the eye of the storm. Frequently, we experience peace and calm, yet storms are always brewing. The earth is always quaking; fires are always burning; waves are always crashing.

In a flash, with the slightest change of a weather pattern, our calm surroundings can be stirred by a mood swing gust of epic proportion, and, if we’re not prepared, we will encounter angry words flying toward us like storm debris.

Tempest children tempt us to run for cover and hunker down until the storm passes.Click To Tweet

Wouldn’t it be nice if Doppler Radar existed for the impending storms of life? It would be helpful to tune in every morning to see the storms rolling in and then use the information to “Be Prepared!” for what was ahead.

Girded with advanced knowledge about the strength of an approaching argument, we could “Be Prepared!” with a gentle response to quiet a disgruntled child. Or, if we were forewarned about the timing of a confrontation, we could “Be Prepared!” with an adequate amount of patience to endure it because we’d know how long it was going to last.

Scripture bears a close resemblance to Doppler Radar. Within its pages, we learn the importance of being prepared because the truth is: Storms churn in the lives of every individual and their families. Scripture accurately pinpoints human nature and the weaknesses that prevent us from properly preparing for the destruction traveling toward us.

Some storms are worse than others, thus requiring a variety of preparedness. Some storms reach us, others don’t. Some storms are short-lived, some never end. However, God is the same through them all. His strong arm is long and steady as He reaches for our hand. When we can’t brace ourselves against the powerful wind any longer, He steps in and pulls us to safety under His outstretched wing. He shelters us until the force weakens and the surge rescinds.

The surest way for us to “Be Prepared!” for the next storm is to remember the One who stood with us in the eyewall of the last one and saved us from being swept away in the aftermath.

God can be trusted to steady us in the storm, save us from deteriorating conditions, and satisfy our deepest needs.

“Be Prepared!” for the rising tide of unknown outcomes of poor choices.

“Be Prepared!” for a ravishing spiritual hunger as we journey alone through a decimated wasteland.

He is with us during calm or catastrophic conditions. He lifts us above the debris of difficulty and plants our feet high on a rock of salvation. He knows what we have weathered and offers protection and safe shelter. He is the Rescuer of the helpless and the Restorer of hopeless.

God’s shelter in the storm cannot be shaken or moved. He sees the plight of the downtrodden and has compassion on them.

God sees the path of destruction and comes quickly to rebuild new hopes and dreams for a better future.

While we wait for the storms that churn and brew, take shelter in the knowledge that God’s love and faithfulness run deep and wide and immeasurably firm. He will not allow the rushing waters to sweep over us, nor allow the fire to scorch us. He provides, protects, and promises His everlasting presence no matter how high the waves crash or how low the pit descends.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Do not be afraid, for I am with you.” (Isaiah 43:2,3,5 NIV)

]]>http://susankcrews.com/god-helps-prepared-storms/feed/01124A Lesson Learned from Punching A College Professorhttp://susankcrews.com/lesson-learned-punching-college-professor/
http://susankcrews.com/lesson-learned-punching-college-professor/#respondFri, 18 Aug 2017 17:59:43 +0000http://susankcrews.com/?p=1101No one expected my professor to get punched in the face that day as I demonstrated the basics of cross stitch in front of the class. Obviously, I was standing too close to her when I pulled my yarn in and out of a hole-punched card, and my hand took a jab at her nose. […]

]]>No one expected my professor to get punched in the face that day as I demonstrated the basics of cross stitch in front of the class. Obviously, I was standing too close to her when I pulled my yarn in and out of a hole-punched card, and my hand took a jab at her nose.

Her reaction was an unforgettable gift in the midst of a stressful situation. During the initial minutes of shock and surprise– with everyone watching– she demonstrated a depth of kindness and restraint many of us only hope to achieve during a lifetime of trying.

She kindly suggested I take a few steps away to begin again. She kindly thanked me when I finished. And she kindly didn’t fail me when grades posted.

The lesson I learned about kindness in that classroom has lasted a lifetime and re-educated me during some of my hardest trials.

When we’re hit with the unexpected, the best reaction is a kind reaction.

As believers, we’re empowered by the Holy Spirit within to fight (and win) any attack of the enemy. Instead of succumbing to our natural instinct to return a jab for a jab, the Spirit ensures a reality of bearing the fruit of kindness.

Whatever may strike us on any given day, the way we respond is our choice to make.

Why not respond with kindness?

When our children betray us and our relationships crumble: kindness

When anger and hostility are regular servings at the dinner table: kindness.

When drugs and alcohol lurk in hidden corners of their rooms: kindness.

When hateful, hurtful words spill from their hearts and mouths without a filter: kindness.

Responding with kindness isn’t just possible with God, it’s also honoring to Him and beneficial to us. In Matthew’s gospel, Jesus’ teachings address our struggle with kindness in the midst of difficulty. Jesus challenged an old belief system of revenge: whatever someone did to you, do it right back.

But Christ reveals a new way to handle our hurts and disappointments. He wants us to treat our enemies (and loved ones) with grace and kindness: “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.” (Matthew 5:40-41, NIV)

Expressing godly kindness to others is a good way to experience hope when things feel hopeless. As usual, Christ’s teachings have a way of turning the tables on popular beliefs. His wisdom promises us that we are the ones who benefit from showing kindness to others.

Through kind responses, we acquire an immeasurable depth of self-control when we refuse to hurt those who have hurt us. We rise to a new level of inner strength when we walk through the rushing waters of suffering without retaliation. And we fill with courage when we overcome the pain of rejection without seeking revenge.

I admit my frequent failure to respond in kindness when slapped with the unexpected, unpleasant, and unwanted hands life has dealt me. But God’s word on kindness revives our hearts when we feel knocked down by life’s punches.

Scripture reminds us that kindness is a gateway to respect, repentance, and redemption.

Repeatedly, we read how kindness reciprocates kindness. It compounds daily through an ongoing person-to-person payment system based on remembering how one was treated in the past. The failure of a person, family, or nation to extend kindness leads to moral and spiritual bankruptcy and the harsh consequences of violence, hatred, and death.

It was true in Biblical days, my college days, and in our current day. Being kind reaps bountiful rewards with family, friends, and strangers. It carries a lot of weight in our society and flows from its ancient origin in the kind heart of God who draws humanity to Himself through His acts of kindness.

While we wait, the kindness we extend to our loved ones will be the door they remember — and search for — when they are ready to exit the exhaustion they endure from the punches, battles, and knock-outs that the world throws their way.

And while we fight the good fight of faith, let’s punch revenge in the face, kick anger to the curb, and raise a banner of kindness over the battlefield of our hearts.

]]>http://susankcrews.com/lesson-learned-punching-college-professor/feed/01101When Your Bad News Makes Headlineshttp://susankcrews.com/when-your-bad-news-makes-headlines/
http://susankcrews.com/when-your-bad-news-makes-headlines/#respondFri, 14 Jul 2017 16:39:59 +0000http://susankcrews.com/?p=1051The front page news was a bitter addition to my morning coffee. The mug shot of a friend’s child was splattered across the top, along with the details of his charges and punishment. My heart ached for the family’s public humiliation. And yet just a few inches below, another friend’s daughter had her picture published […]

]]>The front page news was a bitter addition to my morning coffee. The mug shot of a friend’s child was splattered across the top, along with the details of his charges and punishment. My heart ached for the family’s public humiliation.

And yet just a few inches below, another friend’s daughter had her picture published on the same page. She was splashing and enjoying a carefree day at the pool with her friends and family. It was the picture of childhood innocence at its finest. My heart delighted in reading about their fun.

The contrast between the two stories was blatant. And I wondered if the editor designed his layout intentionally. One guilty child serving time; one innocent child playing at the local pool.

To me, the more obvious story was about two children raised in loving families living in a parallel universe that appeared to be a world apart.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells His followers about blatant contrasts, too, by pointing out a parallel universe wherein exists the ongoing battle between good and evil, right and wrong, happy and sad. In Matthew 5, He promised His followers a future full of good if they are willing to acknowledge their poverty apart from Him

In Him, the poor will inherit a wealth of good; the sad will find comfort; the hungry and thirsty will be satisfied. In Him, evil is overcome with good. And those who are merciful, pure in heart, peacemakers, and persecuted will find reward in Him– their true heavenly treasure.

These promises apply to our parenting trials, too. During the endless arguments we endure, the ongoing legal battles we fight, and the overwhelming grief we experience, we can find encouragement from Jesus’ wisdom.

The good news overcomes the bad news and guarantees Jesus will be our Comforter, our Provider, and our Sustainer.

The good news overcomes the bad news and guarantees Jesus will be our Comforter, our Provider, and…Click To Tweet

If we are to survive in the parallel universe to which we belong, we must keep moving forward during our difficult circumstances. Sometimes that means turning the page from the cherished memories of yesterday’s childhood innocence in order to face today’s reality and the resulting grief we suffer.

At all times, we must love our prodigals exactly where they are– whether it’s in the middle of a guilty mess they’ve made or an innocent mistake that’s changed lives forever.

And it’s always best to forgive them before they’re sorry. Waiting for an unlikely apology robs us of our ability to move on. And it can perpetuate bitterness instead of healing.

These maneuvers will keep us moving forward instead of rolling backward on the long, upward mental climb that is laid out before us.

But when it feels like everyone’s circumstances are easier than ours; when we are burdened by the weight of the wait, and we see others enjoying progress; when the waves of sorrow continue to crash on the shore of our souls, and we struggle in happiness for others; when the charge is guilty and the sentence is long; when the suffering is public, and we cry more than we laugh, remember the promises Jesus made to us: He abides with us in our parallel universe of joy and sorrow. He is present in the good and the bad. And in Him is a future full of good for all the bad we have endured.

For now, when the bad news keeps beating us down, Jesus will scoop us up into His loving arms and comfort us in our pain, provide strength in our weakness, and sustain us with His love that mends our brokenness.

When we realize His arms are strong enough, His heart is big enough, and His eyes are sharp enough to see the full story, our public humiliation is rewritten as a story of private celebration with the One who understands the fine print and the truth hidden between the lines.

While we wait for our prodigals to return home bearing good news, Jesus infuses the parallel universe with a better headline that forecasts endurance for the wait and imprints our troubled hearts with His peace.

And when we grasp how much He loves us where we are and forgives us before we’re sorry, then we can move forward by seeing the bigger picture and letting Him author a better story.

]]>http://susankcrews.com/when-your-bad-news-makes-headlines/feed/01051The Key to Building Relationships with Prodigalshttp://susankcrews.com/key-to-building-relationships/
http://susankcrews.com/key-to-building-relationships/#commentsFri, 26 May 2017 16:27:33 +0000http://susankcrews.com/?p=1001No one would admit what happened the night my husband and I were out of town. But from the photos I stumbled upon, I already knew. The truth stared back at me from the social media pictures. The days and years that followed this incident were filled with more deceptive behavior . Love and trust […]

]]>No one would admit what happened the night my husband and I were out of town. But from the photos I stumbled upon, I already knew. The truth stared back at me from the social media pictures.

The days and years that followed this incident were filled with more deceptive behavior .

Love and trust are a tightly woven cord. Once the cord weakens, it is incredibly hard to reweave, though not impossible.

During the unraveling, I suppressed my pain and sorrow which created a thick darkness that prevented me from loving the deceiver. I worked hard to avoid eye contact– or any contact. I ran a lot of “errands” and kept busy with trivial tasks– hoping I wouldn’t have to deal with my feelings or the truth.

When a parent and child share a trusting relationship, the child enjoys certain freedoms, and the parent enjoys a sense of peace. A trustworthy child is a priceless gift. But relationships change once the bond breaks– often permanently.

Efforts to repair the brokenness are important because a changed relationship is better than no relationship. There are many ways out of the darkness of a grieving heart and into the light of reconciliation.

After searching and praying, I found my way out through an attitude of tolerance. I learned from Jesus who lovingly built bridges toward those who thought and acted differently from what He desired for His followers.

He intentionally chose to form relationships with the liars, cheaters, and betrayers– anyone deemed unworthy by the culture of His day. Likewise, He expects us to be tolerant toward others and form relationships with them no matter how different our ideas, backgrounds, political beliefs, or lifestyle choices. (When I write about tolerance, I am not condoning anything contrary to God’s Word. Rather, I am following the truths I learned in it that taught me to accept others no matter who they are or what they have done. I agree with God’s Word that every life is valuable and worthy of a relationship.)

Jesus never turned His back on sinners or outcasts; He turned toward them by accepting them as they were, where they were. He modeled reaching out instead of cutting off. This is how He opened doors to an eternal relationship with Himself.

Realizing He is the Master Builder of relationships, I felt I desperately needed to follow His example in order to reconnect with my loved one. Maybe you need this, too.

In John 4, Jesus encountered a Samaritan woman and loved her as she was. He knew about her past but built a bridge toward her future through His offering of Living Water– which led to the salvation of many.

Building bridges over our troubled pasts allow access to a future flowing with Living Water.

In Matthew 5:44, Jesus teaches us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. He commands us to love the haters; love the liars; love those who wish evil on us; love those who offend us; love those who disappoint us; love those who are the hardest to love. We are called to rise above any mistreatment by sending up prayers.

Jesus commands us to repay good for evil and love with agape love- the same love He offers to us. Our relationship with friend, foe, or family should look like a love feast that overflows with kind words and actions.

Offering our love to those who hate us, opens our hearts to receive more love from Christ.

Because I knew love was an action and not a feeling, I came to this conclusion:

Tolerance facilitates the action of love toward anyone with whom we struggle; it is the key to relationship building.

Tolerance facilitates the action of love toward anyone with whom we struggle; it is the key to…Click To Tweet

Tolerance for others is like the bottom rung on a ladder of love. It is the first step we must take toward those who have hurt us, deceived us, or turned their backs on us. The first step is often the hardest, but the more we climb, the better our relationships become.

After the initial step, the climb continues to the next rung of forgiveness, which leads to softer hearts. Then we slowly ascend rung by rung by lowering our guard, showing kindness, seeing the positive, and beginning to share life again. Ultimately, when we reach the top, we are able to live in love and unison with those who were once considered our enemy, betrayer, or persecutor.

At times, the climb may be steep and dangerous, and it might include moments of discouragement or the desire to back down. But the only way to restoration is to continue the climb.

When we tolerate behaviors with which we disagree, choices contrary to our values, and beliefs which are doctrinallyunsound, we create a space for others to express themselves without fear of judgment or rejection. Tolerating others opens doors and welcomes communication and reconciliation.

Tolerance reminds me of grace. Looking past sin through the lens of grace allows us to love others in spite of their poor choices. If we do this, then we are leaving the judgment to God and learning to tolerate the things we don’t like in order to connect and love in the same way as Christ.

While we wait, we must tolerate a wide variety of mindsets, attitudes, and choices.

Our goal: building and preserving relationships.

Our motivation:

Grace and tolerance work together as an entrance into the depths of our loved one’s hearts to bring about reconciliation.

“Accept one another, then just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” (Rom. 15:7)

]]>http://susankcrews.com/key-to-building-relationships/feed/41001When We Wait for God to Fill Our Emptinesshttp://susankcrews.com/when-wait-god-fill-our-emptiness/
http://susankcrews.com/when-wait-god-fill-our-emptiness/#respondThu, 13 Apr 2017 14:20:24 +0000http://susankcrews.com/?p=934Every passing day composes a song of notes which harmonizes the old and new. It plays like a loud quietness that rushes in when the bellowing ends. After 9 months of waiting, watching, and wondering, the empty bedrooms filled with coos and cries, laughter and singing. Moments after their first breath, my children’s arrival changed […]

]]>Every passing day composes a song of notes which harmonizes the old and new. It plays like a loud quietness that rushes in when the bellowing ends.

After 9 months of waiting, watching, and wondering, the empty bedrooms filled with coos and cries, laughter and singing. Moments after their first breath, my children’s arrival changed the tune of each day and dialed up the volume.

Now, when I peer into their rooms, I’m like Mary at the tomb– looking for someone who’s no longer there. The hollow shrines resemble time capsules with their hallowed relics of the past.

Despite the changes to accommodate guests and crafts, the air in their rooms will hold eternally suspended molecules comprised of the sounds that arose from lullabies sung, childhood books read aloud, and arrow prayers launched at their bedside.

But like the butterfly that emerges from its cocoon, our children grow and mature into new creations. When this occurs, they acquire new identities and responsibilities.

Once children take up residence in our homes, life is never stagnant. Because they enter an ever-flowing stream that is filled with new ideas, people, and circumstances, they drift away on the winds of change, making parents the caretakers of the mementos left behind. We learn to never complain; we continue to love them.

While their lives transform, we wait, we watch, and we wonder.

Four years ago, my neighbor’s wife suffered a paralyzing stroke, altering their lives forever. Daily, he tends to her needs as would be expected of a loving husband of 50+ years. He cooks, cleans and cuts the grass. Although their roles have drastically shifted, he loyally walks in the new direction his life has taken. He never complains; he continues to love her.

While he sits at her bedside, he waits, he watches and he wonders.

My mother selflessly cares for my ailing father. Their relationship has varied dramatically throughout the course of many years. Regardless of his plentiful needs, God continually supplies the strength required to meet the demand. The more his health decreases, the more her grace increases. She cooks, cleans and serves her family. She loves with her words and actions. It’s a beautiful thing to witness. She never complains; she continues to love him.

While she pours herself out, she waits, she watches, and she wonders.

Repeatedly, we see the tomb of emptiness that other families face. Some pass through a prion’s metal detector to get a glimpse of their child who once threw the football in the backyard. Another spends hours talking to counselors, doctors, and drug rehab supervisors in order to plan a new course of treatment for their loved one caught in the web of addiction. And others weep through the night desperate to know the whereabouts of the child who occupied the bedroom across the hall.

While we pray for our prodigals, we wait, we watch, and we wonder.

At times, it may feel like the hard days will never end. We wait for news of a good prognosis. We watch for a change in choices-wisdom over futility. We wonder how long we will be the caretakers of those who are needy.

Grief may temporarily hover over a bedroom shrine, or at the bedside of a loved one, or in the chambers of a mother’s questioning heart, but it will not consume the ones who wait.

In fact, if we allow Him, God will remove our grief and restore us with strength to persevere. He will fill the empty places with courage to fight and help us finish strong. What we see as empty, God sees as full of opportunity to display His power.

What we see as empty, God sees as full of opportunity to display His power.Click To Tweet

When our weariness threatens to overwhelm us, He fills us with His sufficiency to stand firm and carry on.

Because of Him, the weary are strengthened, the empty are filled, and life is renewed.

As the old things pass away, God fills the void with Himself. The old was good, but the new is better. Like the freshness of the morning dew, God revives us with new mercies and gives us the endurance we need to face each moment, each decision, and each task to which He calls us.

While we wait, God replaces the old notes of discouragement, doubt, and defeat with the loud whisper of a new song of encouragement, assurance and might. And He fills our emptiness with His presence.

“…but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” (Is. 40:31, NIV)

]]>http://susankcrews.com/when-wait-god-fill-our-emptiness/feed/0934What We All Want When We Long for Home and How to Find Ithttp://susankcrews.com/what-we-all-want-when-we-long-for-home/
http://susankcrews.com/what-we-all-want-when-we-long-for-home/#commentsSun, 02 Apr 2017 13:39:01 +0000http://susankcrews.com/?p=873With a stroke of the keyboard and the flash of a camera, life changes. When our children acquire the long-awaited driver’s permit, our driving habits transform into a 3-ring circus. We become spectators on the sideline. We scan our surroundings for wild, untamed things lurking in the shadows and erratic clowns who appear from nowhere. […]

]]>With a stroke of the keyboard and the flash of a camera, life changes.

When our children acquire the long-awaited driver’s permit, our driving habits transform into a 3-ring circus. We become spectators on the sideline. We scan our surroundings for wild, untamed things lurking in the shadows and erratic clowns who appear from nowhere.

Our mom-job changes, too, because we are no longer chauffeurs, have fewer opportunities for therapy-like conversations, and spend more time on the phone discussing purchases because only our credit cards are permitted on shopping trips.

Allowing children a legal license to control a 2-ton moving metal box leads me to question the sanity of those in authority. Does anyone consider the potential danger of putting raging hormones in the driver’s seat?

Yet it happens daily as the new driver turns a key in the ignition and speeds away from home without looking back.

And it doesn’t matter how many hours your child spends in behind-the-wheel instruction, nothing prepares you for the angst you feel as he drives solo for the first time. As you watch your newly-licensed baby drive the family car unaccompanied, the only thing you can do is standby–comfortless–on the curb of despair.

Parents understand what’s lurking in the shadows because we have been around the block a few times. We visualize the potential hazards in the road ahead. But, the time comes when the good and bad memories of waiting in a carpool line fade away from the rearview mirror.

My children learned to drive before they owned a smartphone or GPS. Whenever they wanted to go somewhere (and they always did), they asked for directions.

More alarming than watching them drive alone, was discovering how unfamiliar my children were with the location of the places we frequented– the mall, a friend’s home, or a doctor’s office. After 16 years of riding shotgun, they needed detailed directions before they grabbed the car keys and left.

Despite their lack of knowledge of our city’s streets, my children never needed directions to return home. Something always led them home; an innate Guide showed them the way.

There is enormous security in knowing your way home– the place where someone is awaiting your return, and you feel loved.

Loving parents wait with the lights on and arms open. They listen for the sound of the key unlatching the lock before the swinging of a squeaky front door.

Theability to return home is a gift.

While we wait, our children are experiencing the taste of freedom gained from driving. It is an undeniable and irresistible force that leads them away from home. Under its influence, they flee into the great unknown. And this driving force might be the vehicle that takes them on a wonderful, new adventure along roads possessing breathtaking views and extraordinary people.

But when they are ready to return, their longing for home will be the force that whips the car around and drives them toward us–the ones who love them and watch for their arrival.

Our children need to know there is always a road that leads them home.

When the time is right, they will yearn for the sound of familiar voices, the delight of a home-cooked meal, and the peace from sleeping in their childhood bed(room). These comforts become the driving force that will lead our children back to us–and the reasons they won’t need to ask for directions.

The love we offer is the light they will look for when they escape the circus-like distractions and turn into the driveway with a longing for family.

A return to family and friends is what we wish for our prodigals. We leave the lights on and keep our arms open in anticipation of the day they decide to follow the nudging of their inner Guide and come home.

Our Creator embedded the helix of our DNA with a hungering for home. He is the Guide who perfectly satisfies the craving to return where we belong. The earthly pleasures we seek are imitations of what’s waiting for us in our heavenly home: sweet fellowship, joyous reunions, and the love of our Father’s arms.

God beckons our hearts to return to Him. He waits with us for our children to return home, too. The Creator longs for the created.

When our prodigals choose to return to the Lord, the doors of heaven will swing wide, a feast will accompany the homecoming, and we will rejoice at the idea of sharing life together forever.

Under Heaven’s Big Top, the love of God is the driving force that beckons us all to return home.

]]>http://susankcrews.com/what-we-all-want-when-we-long-for-home/feed/8873The Day My Victim Statement was Read in Courthttp://susankcrews.com/the-day-my-victim-statement-was-read-in-court/
http://susankcrews.com/the-day-my-victim-statement-was-read-in-court/#respondTue, 28 Mar 2017 02:11:12 +0000http://susankcrews.com/?p=815September 20, 2016: Home Court I didn’t think being stung by a caterpillar would be my least painful experience of the day until I answered my cell phone and heard my daughter crying. Does a mother’s heartbeat ever return to normal after her child calls in distress? I listened helplessly as she struggled through sobs […]

I didn’t think being stung by a caterpillar would be my least painful experience of the day until I answered my cell phone and heard my daughter crying.

Does a mother’s heartbeat ever return to normal after her child calls in distress?

I listened helplessly as she struggled through sobs to explain how an intruder had pillaged her college apartment. Along with the precious trinkets stripped from her room, he stole any shred of feeling secure.

After notifying the police, the news spread on social media which led to the man’s identification and eventual arrest.

January 24, 2017: District Court

I sat in the courtroom with my daughter and her roommates; we lined up on a hardwood bench waiting our turn.

Offenders entered the room wearing bright orange jumpsuits and matching rubber shoes. The shackles at their ankles and wrists caused them to struggle as they approached the judge’s bench. The proceedings were busy and noisy. Whispered lawyer lingo led to signed documents that sealed the terms of agreements before the criminals left to serve those terms.

Rudy, like the other offenders, struggled to approach the bench too. The hands and feet once used to trespass and plunder were bound with chains, no longer free to go and do as they pleased.

As he entered, he made no eye contact with anyone in the courtroom. But his was the face we waited to see. Before us and the judge stood the man who decided it was ok to enter my daughter’s apartment and steal her few earthly treasures– gifts given in honor of her high school graduation– the most precious things he could have taken.

Rudy wasn’t your typical thief. He wasn’t a violent offender, either. We will be forever grateful for that, since he awakened one of the roommates during his intrusion and could have seriously harmed her, but didn’t.

Unlike most perpetrators, Rudy was vocal about his name; he shared it with whom he came in contact. Upon discovering the awakened roommate, he turned around, left her room, and pretended to talk on his cell phone–telling “Angie” he couldn’t find her. If he entered a house when people were present, he pretended he was delivering flowers to “Angie.” After being told he was in the wrong place, he would quickly leave. No one suspected a thing; everyone thought he simply made a mistake.

When presented before the judge, Rudy’s lawyers explained the charges and informed him of his plea options. The judge agreed to give him time to make his decision; he was given a new court date and led away.

A quick glance around the courtroom quickened my sense of compassion for anyone involved in the life of each offender we saw. Rudy was just one of the many criminals–on that particular day– who faced consequences for their actions. Each offender inflicted pain upon their victim and their own family and deserved punishment for their crimes.

As I observed the families of the offenders who were present, I felt an urgent need to pray for them.

I prayed for peace for the mother across the aisle when her shackled daughter–about the same age as mine– entered the room and entered her plea. Twice she turned toward her mother and mouthed, “It’s okay.” I prayed for comfort for the mother in front of me when her son appeared before the judge. Her presence showed her support; her disappointed expression showed her heartache. One byone, many entered and exited, and I continued to pray.

I fervently prayed for Rudy. Our family sought justice for our daughter and her friends that day but also wanted him to receive the help needed to release him from his bondage to chemical dependence and find the Deliverer who can truly set him free.

To witness the stream of broken stories flowing through a courtroom was eye-opening and humbling. Sharing the common thread of hopelessness, criminals see no need to respect authority, other people or themselves. While I sat in the courtroom trying to imagine a life void of hope, I thanked God we were not present for something tragic, violent, or heinous, because I could see from the responses in the room that it doesn’t matter to a hopeless person what becomes of their lives or the lives of others.

Living hopeless is like a dead soul shackled and imprisoned in a living body. Without hope, we are all dead men walking.

Jesus holds the master-key that unshackles hopelessness. He brings the dead to life through His expert testimony in Scriptures in which He says, “ I am the way, the truth, and the life.” (John 14:6, NIV).

His way, His truth, and His life restores hope. Christ wants to free all of us from the chains that bind us. He wants to free our children from any feelings of despair- from anything holding them captive. His way, His truth, and His life will lead them out of the darkness of their bondage into the light of His freedom.

Jesus knows each of our situations–what we’re going through with our own children. He cares more deeply than we can ever imagine–It makes no difference to Him if our child is in a courtroom, prison cell, drug rehab, or wallowing in a pig pen–Jesus is the key to their return to us and to Him.

March 27, 2017: Circuit Court

I wrote a note to Rudy hoping his attorney would deliver it to him in private.

When I handed it to the Commonwealth’s Attorney, she asked if I wanted to read it in court. I said, “No, thank you.” She understood my hesitation.

I sat alone and listened as criminals received punishments for their law-breaking activities. I prayed for them to meet Jesus so their lives would be changed.

Like the sign behind him, the judge dispensed wisdom, justice, and mercy to each offender he addressed. He also showed kindness and compassion to those who struggled to understand the penalties they incurred.

After a long morning and a short recess, Rudy entered the courtroom dressed and shackled like the last time I saw him. The judge asked if there were any victims present. I raised my hand and spoke my name. He thanked me for being present.

The judge then methodically explained the charges to which Rudy pled guilty. The punishment imposed-2.5 years in State Penitentiary-fit the crime. The judge discussed the terms of restitution as well, and Rudy testified he would repay.

My heart raced when the Commonwealth’s Attorney stated she would read my victim’s statement aloud. That was not my intention for the note I scribbled earlier in the hotel room. But she proceeded to share my words and my name anyway. It was hard to breathe.

When she finished, the judge told Rudy to stand, and informed him he had the right to say something. He choked out, “ I want to thank the Crews family for their forgiveness.” I sat stunned in disbelief. And when he turned to leave with the officer, he looked me in the eyes and mouthed, “Thank you.” I nodded and smiled. I cried and prayed.

I thanked God for the power of forgiveness-not only because of the freedom I felt surging through every cell of my body (and spilling out of my eyes), but also for the powerful potential it had to work in the shackled heart of this lost young man.

All of us live under the influence of something or someone.

What chains are binding you or a loved one? Is there a “Rudy” in your life who needs to hear the powerful words of forgiveness?

While we wait, we have an opportunity to ask for freedom for those held captive. Those who are bound by chains need the Deliverer, who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and the only One who can set them completely free.

]]>http://susankcrews.com/the-day-my-victim-statement-was-read-in-court/feed/0815One Good Lesson About Bad Parentinghttp://susankcrews.com/one-good-lesson-about-bad-parenting/
http://susankcrews.com/one-good-lesson-about-bad-parenting/#commentsThu, 23 Mar 2017 00:56:50 +0000http://susankcrews.com/?p=788I squirmed in the pew as the teacher read the Scripture from the pulpit. I became increasingly uncomfortable as he taught the lesson. Embarrassed and confused, I searched for the nearest exit. Although I knew I misunderstood what he said, it didn’t stop me from feeling like a failure. Each time I heard instruction about […]

]]>I squirmed in the pew as the teacher read the Scripture from the pulpit. I became increasingly uncomfortable as he taught the lesson. Embarrassed and confused, I searched for the nearest exit. Although I knew I misunderstood what he said, it didn’t stop me from feeling like a failure.

Each time I heard instruction about the same passage, knots formed in my stomach, and I left church believing I was a bad tree.

At the end of Matthew 7, Jesus is completing His Sermon on the Mount using contrasting illustrations to serve as warnings: a narrow way to God versus a wide way to destruction (7:13-14), a good tree versus a bad tree (7:15-23), and a firm foundation of faith versus a shaky one (7:23-27).

Matthew 7:17 is the verse that frequently disturbed me: “Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.”

The teaching I received on this passage was sound, but I heard it wrong in my head which caused me to jump to the wrong conclusion in my heart.

During my hardest days–when angry words lingered in the air longer than the aroma of last night’s dinner, when rule-breakers were more common than rule-followers, when days passed with few spoken words–it was easy for me to think I was a bad tree because I was in the throes of a bad parenting streak.

The King James Version of Genesis 35:11 is the traditional origin of children being called the fruit of the loins. Throughout the Bible, God commands His people to be fruitful and multiply. As believers, it’s natural to think of our progeny as fruit.

But in Matthew 7:17, Jesus didn’t imply that fruit referred to children, nor the trees parents. What a heavy load to bear if He had.

If we tell ourselves we are bad trees with bad fruit, we will walk around under a brick of self-defeat, closely trailed by self-condemning voices and spirit-breaking heartache.

When the clarity of this passage washed over me, I was refreshed by its truth. The weight I felt disappeared and I was able to understand the meaning of “good fruit.”

Fruit is a major term used in the New Testament, and it is never equated with outward works. The good and bad fruit of which Jesus spoke represents the product of a godly (and ungodly) life or virtues of character.

In the passage, He warned about false prophets and the bad fruit of their teaching. I was wrong to believe it meant anything else.

The flowering blossoms of faith bring forth good fruit in believers. When we grow deep roots in the Word of God and draw nourishment from the River of Life, we will be a good tree with good fruit- pleasing to God and edifying to others.

Coming to understand that poor choices made by others do not make us bad trees nor them bad fruit is like slowly dripping sap: sweet and satisfying.

If we spend time telling our children about Jesus, teaching them the difference between right and wrong, and lovingly guide them toward godly living, then, in the eyes of God, we are blameless and guiltless for the poor choices they make as adults. When we think otherwise we are believing a lie instead of God.

The truth is within easy reach and ripe for picking: we are not responsible for anyone’s choices but our own.

Our decision to follow Jesus prepares the soil of our hearts for the planting of faith, hope, and love. When we are faced with a choice to make–for something good or bad–the seeds of faith will sprout into Christ-likeness, causing us to choose the way of hope and love every time. The fruit of the Spirit will be evident to others and will point them to Jesus.

If our loved ones are producing bad fruit (though we are not responsible for it), we can ask the Gardener to snip and cut the dead areas out of their lives in order to promote wiser choices.

God is the only One who can do the same work in their lives as He did in ours.

When God does the pruning, a tree will produce good fruit: faith, hope, and love.

While we wait, our roots must grow deeper in trust for the Gardener to work in the lives of our children as He has worked in ours. When we step aside and allow Him to do the pruning, feeding and growing, good fruit will be produced in their lives.

The fruit in their lives is a result of God’s work in their hearts, not ours. God knows each limb and branch that needs discarding. He makes the perfect cuts and supplies the perfect nourishment in order to establish the good roots that will grow them into good trees.We are solely responsible for own choices. When the fruit of the Spirit is evident, then we are good trees!

]]>http://susankcrews.com/one-good-lesson-about-bad-parenting/feed/4788What We All Need to Pray for the Last Timehttp://susankcrews.com/what-we-all-need-to-pray-for-the-last-time/
http://susankcrews.com/what-we-all-need-to-pray-for-the-last-time/#commentsMon, 13 Mar 2017 22:06:52 +0000http://susankcrews.com/?p=758Several years ago, someone suggested I record the “last things” that happened in my children’s lives instead of the first things. The problem was I never knew when I would serve the last bottle, change the last diaper, or rock a baby to sleep for the last time. Those milestones passed quietly and unnoticed. When […]

]]>Several years ago, someone suggested I record the “last things” that happened in my children’s lives instead of the first things. The problem was I never knew when I would serve the last bottle, change the last diaper, or rock a baby to sleep for the last time. Those milestones passed quietly and unnoticed. When I realized certain things were over, I had no date to mark as a reminder.

But last week was different. We had the chance to celebrate one “last thing.” We marked this final milestone with a family trip. With no room to spare, we filled the car to overflowing and drove south. We escaped the cold days of winter to warm up on one last spring break.

We spent hours on the beach, ate fresh seafood, and made great memories. Sharing this break with friends and family was more meaningful because it was the last one.

After 20 years of being constrained by a school calendar, our years of following the schedule set in place by higher education authority are washing away with the changing tide.

New things are on the horizon as my children darken the door of a classroom for the last time. I am both saddened and relieved about their first steps toward their lives as adults in the real world. My baby birds learned to fly; winged flight will carry them to new shores.

There is always joy and celebration bursting forth when things happen for the first time. It’s important for us to celebrate things that happened for the last time as well.

The Bible teaches the importance of both. “In the beginning,” creation put an end to the “formless and empty earth and the darkness over the surface of the deep.” (Genesis 1:1-2)

Events that happen for the last time precede and enact events happening for the first time.

Scripture’s inclusion of Christ’s first moments on earth allows us to peek behind the curtain to see the end of His private life before becoming a public figure. Before His ministry began, called His first disciples, or performed His first miracle, “Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men. ” (Luke 2:52) The time He spent in Bethlehem, Egypt, Nazareth, and the desert was instrumental in preparing Him for the new path He would walk until His death.(Matt. 1-4).

Because of its importance for believers, the precious details of Christ’s first days shed a bright light on Christ’s last days.

During His last days, He shared the last supper with His disciples. This last meal preceded and prepared Him for the major events that followed: His last encounter with the religious leaders, His last prayer for believers, His last words on the cross, and the last breath He took on our behalf.

From the beginning, Jesus lived His earthly life fixated on the end.

Would our lives be different if we lived the same way?

We and our loved ones can live differently if we ask God to end harmful choices and begin healing. By shaking off the sand of walking along the wrong shore, we will experience an ease in our suffering and will be carried along the current of new and right things.

Here are the things we need to pray for our loved ones:

For one last argument, in exchange for the first day of peace.

For one last night away from home, in exchange for the security of sleeping where they belong.

For one last alcoholic drink, in exchange for the first day of sobriety and control by the Spirit.

For one last drug-induced high, in exchange for the first day of chemical independence.

For one last arrest, in exchange for the first taste of freedom.

For one last intimate encounter outside God’s design, in exchange for fulfillment through intimacy with Him.

For one last day without loving Jesus, in exchange for belief in His perfect consuming love for them.

For ourselves, let’s pray:

For one last doubtful thought in God’s power to accomplish what we desire.

For one last day of trusting in our own strength instead of God’s.

For one last time to walk in fear because God tells us not to.

For one last attitude of ingratitude toward the generous gifts of God.

For one last moment of believing Satan’s lies instead of God’s truth.

For one last forgetting of God’s outrageous love for us and those we love.

In Scripture, and in life, the last things are necessary in order for the first things to begin.

Whether it’s a new life, career, family, business, or ministry, the former things must give way to the start of new things. Our loved ones must go through their “lasts” in order to begin their “firsts.” A new season always replaces an old one-winter becomes spring.

My last spring break trip edges me closer to the end of paying tuition bills, discussing class schedules, and involvement in student activities. It ushers in a new path leading to salaries, benefits and self-appointed vacation dates.

While we wait, let’s fix our eyes and thoughts on Christ who is the Alpha and Omega. In Him, we find endings that lead to great beginnings.

]]>http://susankcrews.com/what-we-all-need-to-pray-for-the-last-time/feed/18758What You Will Gain When You Surrender Your Prodigalshttp://susankcrews.com/what-you-will-gain-when-you-surrender-your-prodigals/
http://susankcrews.com/what-you-will-gain-when-you-surrender-your-prodigals/#respondWed, 01 Mar 2017 20:45:04 +0000http://susankcrews.com/?p=707I put my head on my desk and wailed in prayer, “God, I’m done!” Mentally exhausted after years of waiting, I said, “ God, I’m done praying about this unchanging situation. I’m done wishing things were different. I’m done raising my hope only to be disappointed.” Although it sounded like a toddler throwing a prayer […]

Mentally exhausted after years of waiting, I said, “ God, I’m done praying about this unchanging situation. I’m done wishing things were different. I’m done raising my hope only to be disappointed.”

Although it sounded like a toddler throwing a prayer tantrum, my cries were a moment of complete, honest surrender.

During the years of repetitive praying, I expected God would give me the desires of my heart. I assumed God would see things my way, and act according to my timetable. I was wrong!

I wasn’t accustomed to ineffective prayers.

When I prayed for unhealthy relationships to change or bad influences to relocate, they did. The answers came quickly, and I knew it was God’s answer. That’s why I was confused over the length of time it was taking for this specific request.

In His infinite wisdom, God made me wait. God’s silence doesn’t mean inactivity. God acts according to His will, not mine.

While I wait, God is changing me instead of the situation.

Repenting of my wrong opened my eyes to a better way to pray: “Lord, take this. I can’t do anything about it. Whatever you want to do, please do it. I surrender my will to yours.”

While the situation isn’t changing, I’m asking God to give me peace in it since I don’t have peace with it. This is a more effective way to pray, and I have felt my burden lifted by His undeniable peace.

The surrender of my will to God’s fills me with clarity, peace, and hope for a situation I can’t control. Repentance turns me around to see things God’s way; it reveals the things I only gain as I open my hand to let go of the things I try to hold.

During the Lenten season, the tradition of fasting from something pleasurable requires the same kind of surrender. We choose to let go of one thing in order to make room for more of God. Doing this opens the door of our hearts for more fellowship and intimacy with God.

The more of ourselves we surrender, the more of God we gain.

If you aren’t familiar with Lent, here’s a link to a podcast that explains it well:

My wailed prayer of surrender changed my focus from what I wanted to what God wants for me. Focusing on the cross for 40 days accomplishes the same thing. Gazing at Calvary shifts our eyes from earthly cravings to spiritual desires.

When we fast from things that delight us, we see more clearly what God wants for us.

God wants to make more. Like a potter working a lump of clay, God wants to fashion and mold us into new creations. His artistic hands make us into more of who He wants us to be. Surrendering to His design gives us a new mindset during hardships and a new love for those who are the subject of our mournful prayers.

God wants to lead more. His will is for our good and His glory, and it will not be thwarted. Surrendering our will- to allow Him to lead us- is an act of submission that takes a lot of courage. The more we surrender our attempts to manipulate His will in our circumstances, the more He will lead our lives in the directions they should go.

God wants us to be more. Waiting for prodigals is a long process. If you feel it would be easier to give up, remember that it’s not! The more time we spend with Jesus, the more we will be like Him. Being more like Jesus means we will be more compassionate, more patient, and more hopeful while we are waiting for others, praying for others, and loving others.

While we wait, there are numerous things we can surrender to God, and it isn’t necessary to wait for the season of Lent to do it.

When we give Him our doubt, He will give us truth; when we give Him our darkness, He will give us light; when we give Him our fear, He will give us faith; when we give Him our children, He will give us hope.

Knowing He heard my wailing prayer, each time I worry about my unchanging situation, I surrender my doubt with a simple, “Your will be done, Lord, not mine.”

What do you need to surrender to God? Are you doubting His ability to take control of a particular situation like I did? Will you give it up to God today so you will gain more of Him?

“I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.” (Psalm 40:1)