October 13, 2010

Can a lamp post coach you?

Michael Neill (read his book Supercoach) sometimes talks about how good a coach a lamp post would be.

Many people who are just beginning as life coaches and business coaches worry about whether they have enough smarts and expertise to be an effective coach.

Consider a lamp post, Michael advises them. Let's say your client leaves his office each snowy evening and stops by a lamp post on his way home and just talks to the lamp post. Let's say he starts to do that every evening, unburdening the day's problems and vocalizing the possibilities and options for tomorrow. The lamp post will not talk back; it will just be there for him.

And by acquiring the habit of talking to his lamp post, this person finds his life is improving. It is gathering light. He feels a little less burdened each evening, and by expressing options and possibilities he even has new ideas he would not have had if he didn't talk to the lamp post.

So if a lamp post can do all this, imagine what you can do if you coach someone.

Coaching comes from the world of sports and the performing arts. That's why they call it coaching instead of "consulting" or "advising" or "counseling."

I remember a time when there was no coaching for people like you and me. There was only coaching for athletes and singers and actors. (Strength coach, voice coach and dialect coach.)

Here's the fabulous strength coach Matt Furey:

But soon a personal growth movement began as the world got more entrepreneurial and creative. No longer did people work for the same huge company at the same boring job and then get a watch and retire and wear the watch in the open coffin.

People and innovative businesses were rising up. People changed jobs and even careers, and soon anyone who really wanted to succeed was considering hiring a coach.

Why not? Two heads have always been better than one. If you want something achieved, are you not better with two people on the project than one?

A lot of people have thought that this explosion of personal coaching is absurd. Why should the average person be hiring a coach? A life coach? Are you kidding me? Don't you already know how to live?

But it's that whole average person thing. That's the problem. Being talked into blending in and merging with the wallpaper.

To those who have asked me why I have a coach, and why I've paid people to coach me, I ask them why should it just be for athletes and actors?

They say it's because athletes and actors can't afford to be mediocre. They have to be as good as they can be to keep their jobs.

Me: What if I want to be as good as I can be at my own career? Even if I'm not a pro athlete?

Q: But why do you need to pay for that? Why not do it yourself?

Me: Because coaching almost always works and doing it myself almost never worked. I was okay by myself, but I was never great.

Many times people choose not to get coaching because it would be spending money on themselves and it might look selfish or weak or both. They are afraid of how it might look.

I actually love investing money in my personal growth. I get a really large return in the investment, even financially (not to mention improvements in luminosity of mind, body and spirit).

Should I have invested that money in Enron, bought General Motors stock with it or given it to Bernie Madoff to invest for me?

I say no. I want it to go into coaching. I want to be fulfilled and I want to find out what I've got.

Otherwise, my life would have been a long, sad, gloomy compromise. A dark festival of regrets and missed opportunities.

No one should to go their grave with their music still in them.

That's where I was headed until I met my coach. He wasn't a therapist or a guru or a priest or a bishop or a soul mate or a boss. He was just my coach.

And from our first hour together, my life was never the same.

One quick example of what changed. Prior to working with him, since I was a little boy, I always admired writers and authors and always walked through libraries and bookstores as a child and later as a college student thinking how much I would just LOVE to write a book someday and be an author.

But it was too late for that. I'd already wasted 48 years compromising and doing whatever I thought would keep other people happy and the wolves away from the door. I blended in as well as I could. A real nowhere man.

After meeting my coach and receiving some very energetic "life coaching" I now have written 28 books, on topics from baseball to Jane Austen, four of them are international bestsellers.

Does coaching really work? People ask me that. If it didn't work, there wouldn't be coaching. It would not be growing so fast every year. As the hottest profession in the world.

And it's not just in the USA. I have been meeting lately with coaches from England and Canada and many other countries. It's not a fad, it's a force.

Why can't we all be athletes and actors and dancers and artist and singers? Get some coaching and you'll find out that we can.

My coach is the ultimate coach (dot net.) And those of you who have been following the Deuce Lutui story will want to see the latest here: TBOLITNFL.com

Please go there and read the story. Read it and send it to friends.

This story is going around the world (and it doesn't hurt that Deuce protected the Arizona Cardinals rookie undrafted quarterback Max Hall last week so that he could defeat the Super Bowl Champion Saints 30-20 in his first NFL start)….here's a little snapshot from Isla in Scotland:

"Dear Steve Hardison, The glorious autumn weather was with us here again today, so as the children are on school holiday at the moment we decided to visit a beautiful deserted beach on the West Coast. It is an utterly inspirational place, so it felt natural for my thoughts to turn to Deuce. I decided it would be fun to write TBOLITNFL in shells on the beach, and to share it with you....looks quite cool I think! Have a great day! Love, Isla x Sent from my iPhone"

Most people in Scotland don't already have a favorite offensive lineman in the NFL, so the timing is perfect. Deuce symbolizes something in all of us, a spirit yearning to express itself, previously held back by fearful stories. No longer held back.

People today walk up to me at a seminar and say "The story of Deuce is the story of you, and the story of you is the story of me." Well, yes! My old story was also fearful, and my new story is mine to create fresh each day.

Attention readers in UTAH! My ultimate coach Steve Hardison will be telling the inspiring DEUCE LUTUI story LIVE on October 30th, 2010 in Salt Lake City - 2:00pm-4:30pm the location is TBA. There is no cost to attend this transformational LIVE and VERY rare event of Steve Hardison speaking to a group. If you attend, your life will be forever changed. However a committed RSVP is required as space is very limited.

Comments

I use a quality-at-bat chart to track pylear at bats. Included as plus quality-at-bats include: hit the ball hard, took pitcher deep into count, sacrifice bunt executed, hit and run executed, advanced runner from 2nd base to 3rd base, score the runner from 3rd with less than 2 out and executed squeeze bunt.Negative quality-at-bats include: hit weak fly ball or grounder, struck out looking, failed to execute sacrifice bunt, failed to execute hit and run, failed to advance runner from 2nd base to 3rd base, failed to score the runner from 3rd with less than 2 out and failed to execute squeeze bunt.

Mark Gallion from the STL Gamers did a very good job on stats that matter:There are 4 ways to have qtialuy at bats. 1 Hit the ball hard, regardless of outcome. All line drives are hard hits. Hard hits also include hard hit groundballs and flyballs that force outfielders to retreat on the ball.2 Draw a walk3 Execute sacrifice, advance the runner to 3rd, get a run home with less that 2 outs, hit & runs, squeeze, etc..4 Any at bat that consumes 6 or more pitches is a qtialuy at bat regardless of outcome.A qtialuy at bat is worth between .4 and .5 runs. Using the Pythagoreom Expectation, if you want to increase your winning percentage from 50% to 67%, you need to score 1 more run per game. This means your team needs to produce just 2-3 more qtialuy at bats per game. Now, that is something that players can focus on and control IF they understand what a qtialuy at bat is.

I was so confident I was ready to talk to my son in his 40 s after I watch the video on cfncliot. I was calm, I spoke to him when he was in jovial mood. BUT not! I said in a mild joking tone pls do not shout at your wife He got upset and responded If people are so sensitive ,it is not my problem . I did not even get a chance to tell him that he yells at me too and in front of other people. There were just the two of us. His wife and sis in law were not aware of our conversation. I am not aware that he raises his voice to their child's nanny nor to employee/friend's family who he has always complimented. He claims he does not shout. I do not know what to do.

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