In what may be the lamest reenactment of an Indiana Jones scene ever, a Long Island couple has been arrested and charged with multiple counts of petit larceny and tampering with a consumer product. Police say they are suspected of buying boxes of Jell-O pudding mix and replacing the mix with “aquarium sand” before returning the boxes.

Over at Branding Post, we saw this quote about a grim dystopian future in which the word coffee no longer exists: when you pendulously breasted IHOP waitress emerges in a puff of brown cigarette smoke from the kitchens to demand your order, you won’t ask for a cup of coffee. You’ll ask for a Starbucks.