You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

We can be too rigid in our thought process towards love. It can be difficult to navigate the complexities of who people are yet, simplify it at the same time. I think the greatest thing people overlook is that life is life and since life is life we can never be fully prepared to encounter everything that comes our way. What we can do is embrace our strength to endure whatever we encounter.

I shared about my engagement ending and how difficult it was to express to people my relief that it was over. I think that the implications of a dead end relationship started to manifest in a way that to try and fight for it was a mute point. He didn’t want the relationship and I was honestly happy about it.

When I look back and see where we went wrong, there wasn’t really a whole lot to assess other than the fact that I believe he was ready and once he got in it, realized that he wasn’t. Some people will say that his actions were cruel. Why go through the hassle if you’re not sure? But looking objectively without villainizing him, he was sure until he started to encounter life which made him realize that he wasn’t where he needed to be to move forward. Sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know until you know it. The great thing is that, it’s OK. Could his actions have been more admirable? Certainly. But we cannot always predict the actions of people. We can only be held responsible for our response and how we choose to move forward.

If we were supposed to know everything, life would be boring. We would entertain monotony in a way that makes humans cringe because we are constantly evolving in some capacity. Furthermore, the not knowing is also what makes life and love equally as sweet. With each person you encounter there is a possibility of something wonderful be it love or friendship. That hope makes the world go round and the possibilities are endless because when you finally know, you’ll know. And you’ll often times know it is right because of all that has gone wrong!

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3 Comments

Dana L Blake
on July 1, 2017 at 1:20 am

Thank you for writing this winter I experienced something very similar not an engagement but an almost year long relationship that ended because the other person decided they didn’t want to be in a committed relationship I was am still hurting from that but like you said you don’t know until you know so even though he may have not been sure from the get-go he stuck it out because he thought he would be ready but it turned out he wasn’t so I can’t be mad at him for saying how he really feels she was a guess the only thing I wish is that he had the courage to just say straight out I don’t want a relationship I only want to have fun until there’s no more fun to be had even though that sounds cruel it’s honest and I could have made a decision whether that was something I wanted to do or not but in the end you live and you learn and you move on with that information so that you can learn from it as you go into that next relationship whenever that is and maybe try to find those things out much earlier in the relationship being hurt is one thing but being mad angry or lashing out just because the other person was honest with you no matter how far into the relationship you were serves no purpose but to make you look bad and possibly lose a friend or two or three depending on how close you became to the other person’s networker friends again winter I say thank you for putting yourself out there and allowing us to see that bad things or sad things happen to good and happy people and all we can do is learned from them take the memories with us and move on to the next adventure in our lives