Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

I forgot how everyone nitpicks every word here and extrapolates the worst intentions imaginable. I just meant that some divorcees are emotionally unavailable and no matter what you do for them they don't really see the intentions behind the actions.

Originally Posted by nerdtram

if you can't pull off getting drugs into a festival and consuming them, you don't deserve them.

Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

Originally Posted by MoSetsfire

I forgot how everyone nitpicks every word here and extrapolates the worst intentions imaginable. I just meant that some divorcees are emotionally unavailable and no matter what you do for them they don't really see the intentions behind the actions.

what you call "nitpicking" and "extrapolation" others view as "challenging superficial facile prejudices poorly hidden in common attitudes and language".

Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

Originally Posted by amyzzz

I came out of my marriage EXTREEEMELY horny. Jus sayin.

This has been my experience with dating a recent divorcee. She's also fifteen years older than me too though so that might have something to do with it as well. On that note, what are people's experiences with dating somebody who is clearly in a higher income bracket than you? Give me the dirt.

Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

Should it matter that she makes a lot more money? It doesn't change how you date, or at least it shouldn't IMO. I've dated guys that make considerably less than me but we still go Dutch or take turns paying for dinners out and such.

Originally Posted by M Sparks

It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.

Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

No it hasn't, not really, she did make a point to say that she has a habit to try and pay for everything on dates. We normally treat the other intermittently but she has definitely spent more throughout the dates. I really don't even feel bad, I just don't want to build any resentment.

Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

The best thing to do is keep it equal, even if she feels obligated to pay more often. I often have to push to pay equally because the guy feels it's his gentlemanly duty to pay, but fuck that shit. We all make money and can pay our own way. I don't need to have a guy cover my tab just because he's the guy.

side note -women in their 40s are crazy horny sex maniacs.

Last edited by ThatGirl; 05-14-2014 at 09:15 PM.

Originally Posted by M Sparks

It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.

Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

i dont see why it cant be proportionate to income. if someone makes 75% more they could pay 75% more of/on dates (if both parties are comfortable with that)..if they chose to go to more pricey places for example.

Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

Hmm that's where I think it gets tricky. I make more money, but my expenses with living alone and supporting a house on my own are way higher. I have less spending cash at my disposal. My date has almost no mortgage and shares a house with his brother. We don't go to pricey places, in fact we prefer dodgy cheap hole in the wall spots. For us going dutch works but every couple is different, provided resentments don't surface like what frizzle alluded to.

Originally Posted by M Sparks

It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.

Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

well right so in that case it wouldnt apply. . im on board for 50/50 and have often been the bread winner in my past relationships, but ended up probably paying more often because i knew i could afford it. i even have issues letting the guy pay in full but am TRYING to get over that. lol

Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

Originally Posted by ThatGirl

The best thing to do is keep it equal, even if she feels obligated to pay more often.

I think it's reasonable to aim for roughly equal but keeping a running tally (not that you mean it that strongly, ThatGirl) to me isn't fun or sexy. Being over-concerned with who's paying what makes it all about money, exacerbates any issues by keeping them in the forefront.

It doesn't sound like you're being unconcerned or taking advantage of her so I see no issue. You're paying sometimes, and I'm assuming she's not complaining. She's choosing to date you and if she wants to spend money on having a good time she should be able to. That is if she thinks paying your way sometimes is a good use of her money then great! If you're fretting the whole time you're out she's going to change her mind. If you're declining offers because you want to match what she spends it's not going to go well.

She may eventually decide that she wants to date someone more financially successful, but worrying about it is more likely to bring that on. There are a million other things that could go wrong it isn't helpful to create problems.

Originally Posted by ThatGirl

I often have to push to pay equally because the guy feels it's his gentlemanly duty to pay, but fuck that shit. We all make money and can pay our own way. I don't need to have a guy cover my tab just because he's the guy.

Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

Originally Posted by mountmccabe

I think it's reasonable to aim for roughly equal but keeping a running tally (not that you mean it that strongly, ThatGirl) to me isn't fun or sexy. Being over-concerned with who's paying what makes it all about money, exacerbates any issues by keeping them in the forefront.

Were both pretty casual about it and it works. If he gets the tab for lunch, I'll get the dinner tab. But if one of us offers to treat for a special occasion or something that's different. It doesn't have to be rigid, just generally fair.

Originally Posted by M Sparks

It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.

Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

Sounds good! If you're happy with it, that's what's important. I've seen it get ridiculous and in the past have myself been too caught up in who pays for what, but not every relationship is going to go that way.