You are here

Couple’s lack of intimacy is relationship’s only flaw

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for about a year. He was a virgin when we met. Three months into the relationship we had sex. I am 18 and he is 21.

We used to have sex often, but now he is completely uninterested in anything sexual. I feel like he isn’t attracted to me anymore, although I haven’t changed much since we started dating. Other than sex, we have a great relationship. We haven’t had a single fight, but it hurts my feelings that he doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore. What’s the solution to our problem? — TEEN IN ST. GEORGE, UTAH

DEAR TEEN: Have a frank, non-confrontational talk with your boyfriend and ask him what has changed. It may be that the novelty wore off. He may have a low sex drive, or he may be interested in women only as friends. But you will never know until you ask him. When you do, let him know that whatever his answer is, you care about him and you hope he feels the same way about you.

DEAR ABBY: My 31-year-old daughter, “Layla,” is beautiful, accomplished and earns a good living. She has a lot of friends and always has a boyfriend. She has had both long-term and short-term relationships.

Layla isn’t married and hopes to meet the right person. I’m very anxious about it, but this is her life and her choice. People constantly ask, “How’s your daughter? Is she seeing anyone?” And when I meet someone for the first time who asks about my children, the second question they ask is, “Is she married?” (They don’t ask that about my son.)

This is painful for me. What should I say in response to this omnipresent question? — LAYLA’S MOM

DEAR MOM: All you have to do is smile and say: “My daughter is single, loves her job and is quite successful. Now tell me about YOUR children.”

DEAR ABBY: I’m not too tall or too short. I’m not overweight or too thin. I never receive comments about my appearance that cause me to be sensitive. My husband doesn’t drink, abuse me or stray. I have had no problems through the years with family members, neighbors or co-workers. My grown children are thoughtful, considerate and loving. Even my in-laws love me.

So tell me, did you ever receive a letter such as this? — JOY IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR JOY: Not in recent history. And it’s probably because people regard my column as a place to dump their troubles rather than share their many blessings, as you have done today.