Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

don't know what to title this post...

Well, now my husband has filed a motion to have me "removed" from the house, in other words, a restraining order saying I cannot live here. Ironically, this is the house that my family has financed. So, I was served w/ this on Wednesday and the hearing is pushed out until next Tuesday. Husband says he will drop everything if I check myself into treatment. BUT... he doesn't want to pay for treatment, and he doesn't want to pay me any spousal support either. So, if the Judge decides I shouldn't live here, then I am out on the street with no money. There is one treatment program my insurance will pay for, but its at a hospital, and they told me that usually they have you stay there inpatient for 3 weeks or so, then you do outpatient (as we all know, insurance doesn't want to pay for those beds for 60 or 90 days). I totally feel like I am being taken advantage of!! Yes, I do need to deal with my drinking issues. I go to AA and I am trying hard to make changes. Kicking me out of the house isn't going to make recovery any easier. I am so angry that he is able to somehow gain the upper hand in the marital situation, b/c I have alcoholism. If I had MS or Cancer or HIV would he be able to strip me of my rights so easily?? He is trying to take away my daughter, have me removed from my home, and is also trying to get out of paying me any type of spousal support - all on the grounds that I am an alcoholic. Is this even near fair and normal?? I am so confused, angry, frustrated, depressed, and I just feel like I can't do anything to help myself. My family law attorney is not being aggressive, and I don't have the money to switch attorneys - although I talked to a real bull-dog attorney yesterday, but she wants $20K retainer to represent me. HELP ? !! ? What do I do now?

yes, I am on the house title. I have no prob. going to the hospital that insurance will pay for - but they only cover like 2 -3 weeks inpatient, and the rest is outpatient. My husband says he wants me in treatment for 3 - 6 months. Not that its up to him. But, he seems to feel that he calls all the shots and whenever he doesn't get his way, he makes it more difficult w/ finances, the courts, custody, etc.
I will likely be checking in next Wed. so I will be out of touch for a month. But, you guys will hear from me before I actually go - I just need to know if I am getting screwed from a legal standpoint?? I mean he HAS TO provide financial support, right? I don't know, this whole experience just makes me want to drink!! (ok I won't do that.)

I am sooooooooooo frugal, (ask my brother) that I wouldn't go to treatment again because I went to Schick Shadel in Seattle (aversion therapy, where you vomit for 10 days {vomitorium}) which was $15,000 for 10 days so my insurance wouldn't cover anymore treatment for 2 years.

When I went to treatment, almost 4 months ago, we had to pay out of our pocket a total of $25,000 and that's not counting a week in detox.

For me to spend that kind of money means I meant business because my hobby is to save money. Crazy hobby huh?

I know not everyone has that kind of money but my point is, you'll do whatever you have to do if you're sick enough of this crap and your husband trying to control you...........blah blah blah

go to treatment, my friend. documentation is what you need in court and this is it. this absolutely will do nothing but help your case as it shows willingness. whether your husband is being fair or unfair is irrelevant at this juncture. it is what it is. sometimes what looks like tragedy can be the best gift from God--ever. i know.................

Please seek the treatment as best as you can. The judge will certainly recognize that you are trying. If you had cancer would you not take the treatment due to cost? Well alcohol can kill you as well, it certainly can screw up your life. Good luck..

btw, do not be concerned about your husbands control issues in relation to length of treatment. he will not call the shots. you will meet some of your very best resources in the walls of treatment and they will provide advocacy for you in court. wishing good thoughts for you and a sober life ahead. you deserve it.

I guess I just check in and take it one day at a time (?) If there is a bill at the end of the day, somehow it will get paid. If not by my husband, then someday by me. Its like that famous MASTERCARD commercial:
1 case of wine $350.00
1 DUI $7,975.00
1 Divorce $156,740.00
Sobriety Priceless

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