Finding out your child has autism can leave you feeling lost and bewildered. Now a newly formed Tyneside support group aims to tackle the isolation parents might feel.

Jean and Alan Gray were having work done on their kitchen recently but the job had to be aborted after their four-year-old son, Peter, could no longer bear the noise of the drilling.

In his baggy T-shirt, combat trousers and with his cheeky grin, Peter looks like any other little boy his age. The difference is he is autistic.

When I meet the Grays at their home in Kenton, Newcastle, Peter is standing transfixed in front of the television. His nose is pressed up close against the screen as he follows the antics of two cartoon dogs on one of his favourite programmes.

"Children with autism experience things differently," explains Peter's mum, Jean. "Their senses are either under- or over-stimulated. That's why Peter is standing so close to the TV screen - he needs to be up close to everything and everyone to experience them.

"Autistic people might also get excited by flashing lights or find that certain noises are deafening to them, like the drilling. Even the Hoover can be unbearable."

Autism is a lifelong development disability which affects an estimated 500,000 people in the UK in various degrees of severity, but sufferers tend to have difficulties forming relationships, problems with verbal and non-verbal communication and also a lack of imagination.

It manifests itself differently in different children but parents who have an autistic child will usually recognise the signs of autism in other children.

"Some children with autism like sniffing things," says Jean. "Not just nice things like flowers. They might come up close to you and smell your trousers or get things out of the wash basket to smell because their sense of smell is under-sensitive."

The Grays, who have another son, Jack, six, found out that Peter was autistic when he was 18 months old.

"He was always a very happy baby and always seemed to be on a high," says Jean, 36. "But we realised there was something different about him. With autism, you have a child who looks normal but their behaviour is not.

"Other people might even perceive their behaviour as being naughty. Quite often you see people frowning at you because they think your child is just playing up. You can feel very isolated when you discover something like this. You are told your child is autistic but you don't know where to turn."

The Grays have since linked up with other parents of autistic children and the group has now become large enough to form a support organisation, Listening to Leaves.

It was so-called after one of its members came across a story of an autistic woman who would listen to the sound of rustling leaves, which she experienced as incredibly pleasurable, but as she developed, so did her senses and she lost her heightened sense of hearing.

"It's quite a nice story. We all loved it," says Jean. "And we wanted a name that was quite positive. We would be quite keen to find out who this lady was and whether any Chronicle readers know of her."

Alan adds: "The group is embryonic. It is in its early stages but we are hoping that as soon as we find a permanent hall or base, we can expand further and apply for charity status.

"We know there are lots of other parents out there who we'd like to welcome into the group.

"At the minute we are having to hold them back until we get a regular venue.

"The plan is to get expert speakers in and talk about autism and other issues, like how diet might affect it or where to get further support."

The group currently meets once a week at the Gosforth home of Joanna Mitchell, whose son Alfie, three, is also autistic.

Having had four other children, Joanna recognised that something was wrong early on, when Alfie was just six months old.

"I have five children and Alfie was different in his sleeping patterns and his behaviour was different to that of the others."

Whereas his young friends at playgroup would proudly bring their paintings home to display on the fridge door, Alfie would leave his at school.

"He can't deal with things out of context, so if he has made something at school, he thinks it has to stay there," says Joanna.

"Autistic children compartmentalise things, including people. Sometimes they might even forget they have met someone, especially if they meet them in a different context."

The idea of the group was to offer support to parents, and Joanna agrees that having an autistic child can leave you feeling isolated.

"You end up frantically reading books or searching on the internet for any bits of information you can find on autism.

"As a group, we would like to see more early intervention with autistic children in the form of speech therapy, more support for parents and occupational therapy."

A report published this week backs up what Listening to Leaves has found - that people with autism are still falling between the gaps when it comes to getting support as well as benefits.

Published by the National Autistic Society (NAS) to mark Autism Awareness Week, the report shows that people with autism and Asperger's syndrome don't fit the current ways of thinking about disability nor the eligibility used to measure support needs of people with disabilities and their families.

Sixty per cent of carers found getting support from social services difficult and a further 40 per cent of carers were dissatisfied with the support social services had provided.

Steve Broach, co-author of the report, says people with autism continue to find themselves doubly excluded.

"It is first because of their social and communication impairments, and then because support services are not designed or equipped to meet their needs effectively.

"An urgent priority is autism awareness training and job-specific training in autism for all professionals working in this group.

"Families affected by autism also need more and better information to help them access their full range of rights and entitlements."

The death of a North East mother and her autistic son two years ago highlighted how important it is that those with autism and their carers get the support they need. An inquest at Durham City Magistrates' Court into their deaths found that Helen Rogan had gone into the depths of despair over her lack of hope for the future.

Coroner Andrew Tweddle said at the time: "It seems to me that as time went on she became more worried about the future, what it would hold for her and her son."

Although there appear to be more people than ever with autism, Eileen Hopkins, director of development at NAS, says it is unclear whether autism is actually on the rise.

"The identification of autism is certainly on the increase," she says. "More people are definitely being diagnosed, but it is difficult to say whether there are more cases as there has been no firm research to prove it.

"I have worked in this field for 30 years and when I started out it was considered rare but now it is much more prevalent."

She adds: "Early identification and early intervention are key. The earlier we are able to provide intervention with children, the better. That means we need more people who are able to understand and support those with autism.

"At present, each local education authority has a different approach to how it deals with people with autism. There is no uniform system currently, and that is what we would like to see changed."

NTHE National Autistic Society helpline can be contacted on 0870 600 8585. Opening hours are 10am to 4pm, Monday to Friday.

NInformation on forthcoming meetings of Listening to Leaves will be published in the Chronicle.