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Weaning advice...to wean or not to wean and when if so?!

Hi all

Am looking for some advice

My 13 month year old has been enjoying baby led weaning since 7 months, although continues to be breastfeed like no tomorrow :-). He is starting to eat slightly more solids though has 4-6 BF a day and co sleeps and feeds 2-4 times a night. He BF's to sleep at nap and night time. *I am happy to continue with BF for now and want to wean as gradually as practical and to make it easier for both Mum and son.

I am returning to work in December when my son will be 20 months old. My job means long days and a couple of nights away from home travelling every month. My husband is taking parental leave when I go back to work so the little one will be in good hands but I have doubts on how and when should wean. *I'll be putting my son in nursery for a few hours in morning when he hits 18 months too.

1) Do you think its important to wean prior or when I go back to work? *My doubt is if my LO could manage without BFs the nights I need to be away by age 20 months without too much stress or if need to wean in advance to make it easier for him (and his Dad).

2) In the case we decide to wean..how long in your experiences does it take to wean gradually, applying a "don't offer , don't refuse" approach. Is it a question of few weeks or few months? i dont want to start too early.

Re: Weaning advice...to wean or not to wean and when if so?!

Although my situation was different than yours, I believe that gradually weaning with love, aka baby led weaning is the way to go. Your LO and you might still enjoy the reconnect breastfeeding affords you while he transitions into toddlerhood. In my experience I had one child who weaned with love over the course of a week before his second birthday and another who weaned with love while attending kindergarten.

Re: Weaning advice...to wean or not to wean and when if so?!

I'll be putting my son in nursery for a few hours in morning when he hits 18 months too.

My son is 18 months and would do just fine a few hours in the morning without nursing. I would have his caregiver give him some water if he gets thirsty.

Your son may start nursing a little less on his own relatively soon. Frequent nursing is common around 13 months while the molars are pushing through, then often ebbs some once all of the molars have erupted.

1) Do you think its important to wean prior or when I go back to work? *My doubt is if my LO could manage without BFs the nights I need to be away by age 20 months without too much stress or if need to wean in advance to make it easier for him (and his Dad).

No, I don't think there is any reason to wean before going back to work. However, you will want to make sure that he will be willing to drink an alternative milk while you are gone. Your son and your husband will find their groove. While my son still comes to me for comfort when I am around, he does just fine with my husband when I am gone.

2) In the case we decide to wean..how long in your experiences does it take to wean gradually, applying a "don't offer , don't refuse" approach. Is it a question of few weeks or few months? i dont want to start too early.

I think it is more on the order of months, but I haven't tried to wean yet so take that for what it's worth.

Re: Weaning advice...to wean or not to wean and when if so?!

I don't think you have to wean prior to or even WHEN you back to work. I was home with my son full time until he was 14months old. And Fed on demand the entire time. I went back to work at 14months. Fulltime. 42-45 hours a week. So away for about 10 hours a day. He was eating 3 solid meals and 2 snacks a day by then. And he would eat solids and drink water out of his sippy while away frome and we'd nurse on demand while together Morning and night on the days I worked and on demand on my two days off. I found that the nursing at the end of the day really really helped up recconect and then of course we still co-slept. He wasn't interested in cow's milk at that point and since I am not convinced that it is great for human consumption I didn't push it. I let him drink water while away from me. As long as you are nursing your child 3-5times in a 24hour period they don't need a milk supplement. That is enough milk at that age if they are eating solids. So I wouldn't worry about weaning at all. I would worry more about solids experimentation and doing the work to make sure that by the time you go back to work you will feel confident that your child will be able to replace enough sessions with healthy food alternatives.

Re: Weaning advice...to wean or not to wean and when if so?!

At 20 months old, you can enjoy nursing your child when you are together, but you can also take breaks, and if you have to be away for some overnights, this shouldn't be a problem - at this age, your supply should be very flexible, making overnights without nursing no big deal, and your child can find alternate forms of comfort with his caretaker when you are gone. Personally, I would continue nursing when I was together with my child.

You can call me JoMo!

Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

Re: Weaning advice...to wean or not to wean and when if so?!

Thanks so much all....was hoping to hear answers such as yours as really happy to continue nursing for now, I just want o reassure myself that I wont be being too hard on little one on hubby if I didnt wean orior/on going back to work.

Was particularly concerned on need to night wean, and whether Lo would settle without nursuing and me around.

If there are any not so positive experiences out there and learnings would be interested in hearing them too, though mostly I hope its as easy as those who were kind enough to respond have said!

Re: Weaning advice...to wean or not to wean and when if so?!

I think you need to expect it to be a little difficult for your son and husband when you first go back to work whether you are still nursing or not. The separation is hard for everyone, but you will all find new comfort zones given time. Nursing is a wonderful way to reconnect with your baby when you come home from work. I personally find it easier to be nursing my son as a working mom. It provides quick comfort, love, and nourishment when I'm home, and my son is comforted in other ways while I'm gone. Everyone is happy!

Re: Weaning advice...to wean or not to wean and when if so?!

I have attended night meetings a couple times a month since I returned to work when Joe was three months old, and so DH has had to put my little guy Joe to sleep on his own with some frequency, although I didn't spend a whole night away from them until Joe was closer to 20 months. In my experience, DH developed his own routines with Joe that were different than my routines, and didn't involve nursing. If I'm not around, Joe may miss me, but he won't ask for mama milk. There will be some adjustment, at first, but it may not be as big a deal as you imagine. That has been my experience, anyway.

You can call me JoMo!

Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

Re: Weaning advice...to wean or not to wean and when if so?!

Yeah I don't think it has to be hard. My Son was always very social and very interested in being with other people and other kids especially. (Daycare) And It didn't matter who was taking care of him he adapted. Even though we always co-slept at Daycare he would go down for a nap on a cot with everyone else. At home he wanted my Mom/ sister/husband to lay down with him. But he didn't expect anyone else to nurse him. He just went to sleep with them.