4) A mysterious character makes an appearance in your latest story (presuming, of course, you are a writer). His descriptions sound familiar ... but he certainly doesn't have that girlfriend, or any of those other things you 'hate' about him. Then, you decide thats an extremely dull version and kill him off.

5) You listen to a new band, watch a film or read a book and automatically wonder whether he'd like it - and then decide that if he does you'd burn it. Or treasure it forever.

6) Your heart beats furiously when you see him looking at you. You pull your skirt down and your blouse up so that he thinks you are classy and sophisticated (see no. 2) but then pray to God that you still look sexy.

7) You suddenly hate all the girls he talks to that are prettier than you.

8) Anybody who isn't arrogant and sexist (for example) like him is just boring.

9) You ignore his texts but later save them into a special folder so you don't accidentally delete them, ever.

10) You slip his name into any conversation and vehemently insist upon what a prat he is.

And then, of course, all of that works and you realize he is madly in love with you and is prepared to change all the things about him that annoy you. Suddenly you aren't interested.

Author guidance

Naming titles: Granted, you can look at the previous title and guess your way through it, but let's say it's a little tricky. Start out each title as "You know you (are/have) a _(something/someone)_ when..."

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