28 Douchebags Later

PIC DELETEDThe power of scrote contained in this one supernova douche is beyond comprehension. In one single instant, his clothes, hat, expression, douche aura and ‘Bag Hand Gesture #07 combine to literally melt my eyeballs from the inside.

This is X-Men level Douchitude. Mutant douche DNA. I’m so rattled looking at this scrub I think I need to start drinking, and it’s not even 9 A.M.

The genius is how oblivious this young little chica is to what’s exploding next to her. She’s in the presence of a rare occurrance, like the douchebag equivalent of seeing a meteor fall and land in your back yard, and yet she ignores the meltdown going on and simply smiles. She’s got Michael Jordan powers of concentration. If this guy can’t distract, nothing can. She’s like a laser, able to block out even a douche as humongously wrong, as hideously skeezy as this rank ball of human waste. And she’s got a bit of a Gloria Estafan thing going. Which doesn’t hurt.