Hey look, it’s the pictures from the MET Gala “fashion Oscars.” I have compiled a ton of pictures of the hottest celebrity women. And Tom Brady. But guess who is missing??? Where’s Waldo might you ask? Well Miss Kardashian was banned from attending the event at the MET Gala. I just laughed a little inside. There were all kinds of red carpet hotness going on at this NYC event, but I have some notes that might help serve as your tour guide through some of the pictures.

Tom Brady was rocking this really weird faux hawk but it was on one side of the head. Best way to describe it is to remember when you were in middle school and al the boys parted their hair on one side because it was rad to do. Tom Brady is rad.

Katherine McPhee was the hottest one in attendance. She’s a red carpet show stealer. Now that she has the show Smash, she’s all the rage and I expect her hotness in more places.

Kate Upton. Hot. Yes. Obvious.

January Jones is looking good again. She has snapped back nicely since the baby. Will she actually start appearing in Mad Men again? What happened? I need my Mrs. Draper fill, she’s the hottest housewife in the game.

Chloe Sevigny is kinda weird. But kinda hot. Remember when she did Kids? Whoa….blast from the past.

Here is Scarlett Johansson and all of her hotness as Black Widow, a character from Iron Man 2. While sort of geeky, its still Scarlett Johansson on her knees and that’s pretty tough to argue. There’s a few more pictures down there for you. Enjoy.

While Eva Mendes and Scarlett Johansson were supposed to be premiering their new movie, The Spirit, they instead premiered Samuel L. Jackson as being a fashion superstar. At least that’s how he looked standing next to Betty Crocker and Cinderella on acid. Come on ladies, its a movie premier, for christ sake, ho’ it up just a bit!

Yes, I’d still hit it. For sure. But this is just ridiculous. It looks like a baby threw up all over Eva.

A long, long time ago, Lindsay Lohan did a bunch of nose-candy and wrote mean things about Scarlett Johansson on a bathroom stall. One must believe this to have been a top-of-the-line party. Apparently they were both competing for a role in The Parent Trap. Ah, the brutal stress driven emotion that it takes to be a young starlet on blow in Hollywood. Well, Scarlett has kept silent about the ordeal until this most recent issue of Allure magazine, where she basically claims to not even know Lindsay.

“I don’t know what the motivation was behind that. I remember it was something really vulgar — I mean, shockingly so, like, ‘Whoa, what, who are you?’”

Scarlett Johansson attended a Michael J. Fox Foundation event the other night, in support of curing Parkinsons. She also brought along two pillows of hope and a gorgeous smile. But mostly, pillows of hope. Yes, I mean her breast. Come on now, go look at the pictures for yourself. Oh, oh, what it must be like to be Justin Timberlake????