Oh hey Calgary. How’s things? It’s just Wanye - your friendly neighbour to the North. Just thought we’d pop in with a few friends to talk about the ice hockey match this evening.

Things aren’t as dire up here in Edmonton as seasons of XXth, 30th, 30th and 29th would suggest. Yeah we know you are better than us on paper. You have an all world goalie capable of winning you any game he decides. We have a worn out old Russian and some 9 foot something or other backing him up.

PROOF MEET PUDDING

We know that you have been to the playoffs X times since 2006 and all we have been getting up here is our collective asses handed to us. We know we aren’t even close to you in the standings.

We know that the cumulative 5 year record of our respective teams is:

We know all sorts of facts.

Having said all of that:

WE WOULD RATHER BE US THAN YOU

That’s right. The Oilers are coming out of an extended dark age and yours are only beginning now. And you know it too – don’t even pretend you can’t see four or five years of basement dwelling on the horizon ahead of you. Look how old you are! And the no trade clauses! Tsk tsk tsk. It boggles the mind!

Had any UFA or RFA of note chosen the Edmonton Oilers in the past 10 years we might be in a similar pickle. But guess what. They didn’t. And the garbage that we were able to sign are almost all off the books. Then you know what happens? That’s when the winning starts.

Now sure that might be tomorrow and not today. We know that you are surging ETC ETC ETC and hope to put a playoff berth firmly in your sights tonight. And we know that this ain’t exactly the best Oilers squadron of the past 3

There are many areas the Oilers can whip the Calgary Flames at and this includes:

SEXIER BRASS

Sutter v Renney? Are we kidding here? Not to mention that the corpse of Tambellini could be left in the sun for a week and be more attractive in a bathing suit than Jay Feaster. No no, this isn't even a contest between the two franchises.

MORE RYANS

Compare the rosters

MORE SQUEEE

Something something

MORE NUGE

Something something

AND SO

In closing here are some more incendiary quotes from OilersNation via twitter:

@bcherri01 This one is for first dibs on tee times #battleofalberta

@JSBMrevolution Time to show the world who the REAL best cousin kissers are #Wait #battleofalberta

@MyqWilson “Who wins BOA? Jay Feaster asks for the question to be rephrased in the form of a cheeseburger*

You are the worst monsters in human history. We look forward to watching you miss the playoffs.

Signed,

A team out of the playoffs for XX consecutive months

PS Even at the end of the article we would STILL rather be us than you.

While I'm sure all of you up north in stinkville had this day circled on your soiled, stained lucky draw'ers that you use more as a calender than an undergarment, it must still sting that despite no matter how much you have hope in that farce of a "re-build", that your team sucks, your management sucks; and no matter how much money Katz has, he's still an idiot for keeping everyone else around.

Keep the faith Oil-fan, you have the Hall, Eberle and the Nuuuuuge... for now. By the time you're able to get rid of that slug Horcoff, Little Huey, Dewey and Louie will be just as S#!tty as he is.

So enjoy your one and only FGD write-up. THANK GOD Wanye did it, it made me laugh and it was brilliantly done. As so many Oiler twits err.. tweeps have been saying since by back-and-forth with Wanye last night on Twitter, THIS IS YOUR STANLEY CUP Shelbyville... How freaking pathetic is that?

At least we know the problems with our team, but if your ONE ambition in a season is to beat the Flames.. Lol, then you should be copying the pic Wanye used at the top, blow it up (you're good at that!) and paste it to the paper bags you put on your head as you walk into WrecksAll errrr Rexall!

So go squeeeeeeeeeeeze into your 1980's tear soaked Oilers jersey, pound a few red bull and get ready to assume the position, cause this one might sting a tad!

Last night Wanye called this game the "Hour of our REDEMPTION"..
It's just too bad Edmonton misspelled redemption and unfortunately use this as the definition..

re·tard. ationnoun
1. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine. verb
1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.

... Great GDB!! I laughed, I cried, I did it all.. Good times!
.. Remember Edmonton, even a busted clock is right twice a day! Good luck.. pffft...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....oh sh**, that was awesome, the article was brilliant, especially for a Shelbyvillian, but this rebutle is absoltely genius..........priceless game day chatter.

I assume this the result of that bet where the winner of the previous game in the Battle makes the GDT? Wow. You guys have obviously been bottling up material for a loooooong time now! Fortunately, you should have *plenty* of time to generate material for the next one.

P.S. The more smack that comes out of your mouth now, the sweeter it will be to watch you swallow it tonight!

Well Flames fans, you guys were doomed from the start. Adam and Eve must have been Flames fans because they were stupid enough to eat the apple. If they were Oiler fans, they would have skewered the snake and had a bbq.

NOBODY can out 'squeeeeeeeeeeee' louder and better than Steve Tambi when the 1st overall lottery pick goes ...yet again.... to the Edmonton Oilers!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. One can only wonder what the Shames would do with better first round picks. Let us take a quick look at the two teams recent first draft selections. If we go with the assumption that not even Flames Management would screw up a 1st overall (I said ASSUMPTION) the past two years will be exempt.

2009 - Paajarvi / Tim Erixon

2008 - Eberle / Greg Neimisz

2007 - Gagner / Mikey Backlund

2006 - Petry / Leland Irving

2005 - Cogliano / Matt Pelech

2004 - Dubnyk / Kris Chucko

Wow. Wasn't that Fun! Notice I had to add the Flames guys first names so they were somewhat recognizable. Now, I know what you are thinking, Cletus, Clem, Zeke or whatever the flip your Flame Lovin' name is: "but y'all sucked and had better picks than us guys, did". And to a point that is true, but not as much as you think. Over this 6-year span your Flamers picked an average 25th overall and the Oil picked 20th overall, not exactly a serf and lord feudal system (whoops forgot my audience: po' folks and rich 'uns).

So, yes continue to rave on about your team that has sucked less than us. I agree you are average, the top wrung of the mediocre! But our day will come and sadly the writing is on the wall and the shelves are bare in the City of Cows. And what is funny is you have no one to blame but yourselves.

Between keeping an eye on that "Dez Jones" loser trolling Taylor Hall on Twitter last night (challenging a pro athlete to a bar fight - you gotta be pretty damn stupid to do that) and anticipating Wanye's GDB (clap clap good sir), I can truthfully say this has been a pretty awesome last 24 hours.*

The article's assertion that deep down every Flames fan wishes their team was the Oil right now is nonsense. I think the true deep down fear of every oil fan is "what if it never gets better?"

This team needs to show me something first. Sure you're good in spurts, but methinks there are going to be too many big ego's in that dressing room to sustain consistency an entire season. If the Oil lose a few that dressing room turns immediately toxic. All these kids have been stars on their own teams their whole life & now they have to share it with 2 or 3 more "superstars".

There's no question there is significant talent there with several players. But Crosby Malkin & Staal or Toews & Kane accomplished so much more than the Edmonton young guns at this point in their careers.

If you're not knocking at the playoff door next year, consider the "blow it up" experiment a failure & get ready for perpetual mediocrity - something us Flames fan have gotten use to the past few years - only difference - Last 20 games of the year are exciting for us & not for you.

For bean-counting, you'd think facts would be important.

Review both Chicago and Pittsburghs point totals within 3 years AFTER their 3rd high (or lottery) pick.

The 3rd year was where the big jump started. We're 2 yrs removed from Hall, 1 yr from RNH, and have another lottery pick coming. At the end of Halls RFA contract, the Oilers will be competitive with any team in the league, and likely be a playoff team.

Do you honestly believe Calgary can fill the gaps on their roster in 3 seasons to make them better than they are now? Kiprusoff, Iginla are already on the back 9, and Baertschi (sp) may end up being a great prospect, but not Art Ross/Rocket Richard trophy winner.

We already have two 30 goal scorers in Edmonton that we didn't have 3 seasons ago. Where will Calgary replace their *stifledlaughter*offense from?

Oilers will at least get another FIST pick. Five points tonight for Nuuuuuge. Iggy goes home with an owie and Kipper stops ninety per cent of shots fired his way in a preview of future Alberta battles. Take heart Flames fans, at least you are not the Leafs. They REALLY are massive SUCKAGE.

All you have to do is listen to both Team radio stations in both cities (which I do frequently)

Trust me, Edmonton has an inferiority complex, we wish we were better, but rarely do you ever hear that we strive to accomplish something that Calgary has.

On the flip side, ever since the Sutterites have been in charge of Calgary, there is a "we'd better beat Edmonton, and everything else will work out from there" mentality.

Do you think any other team cares that much about being better than a rebuilding team?

And what happens next season, or 2-3 years from now. Of course we wait, because we can't get worse, but Calgary, oh, you can get alot worse. My only hope is your top pick in 2014 will have the fire in his belly like Taylor Hall does, and we see good games again.

Really? You don't strive for what we have. Let's look at '04 and '06.

In 2004 Calgary went on a run. Fans spontaneously went to the streets. The Red Mile was born. It was pure joy and most important it was original.

2006 and Oiler fans do what? The Copper Kilometre? The only difference is you decided to stab each other. Dynamite.

I can honestly say that the only time I ever heard Whyte Ave referred to as anything other than Whyte Ave during the Cup run was while I was in Calgary. I really think that was a made up thing from Calgaretards.

I assume this the result of that bet where the winner of the previous game in the Battle makes the GDT? Wow. You guys have obviously been bottling up material for a loooooong time now! Fortunately, you should have *plenty* of time to generate material for the next one.

P.S. The more smack that comes out of your mouth now, the sweeter it will be to watch you swallow it tonight!

I can honestly say that the only time I ever heard Whyte Ave referred to as anything other than Whyte Ave during the Cup run was while I was in Calgary. I really think that was a made up thing from Calgaretards.

Exactly my point but we didn't make up your name, that was all you. We did do the celebration. Which you tried to copy. The stabbing was your own twist. Stabbing each other during a celebration. Who is retarded?

All you have to do is listen to both Team radio stations in both cities (which I do frequently)

Trust me, Edmonton has an inferiority complex, we wish we were better, but rarely do you ever hear that we strive to accomplish something that Calgary has.

On the flip side, ever since the Sutterites have been in charge of Calgary, there is a "we'd better beat Edmonton, and everything else will work out from there" mentality.

Do you think any other team cares that much about being better than a rebuilding team?

And what happens next season, or 2-3 years from now. Of course we wait, because we can't get worse, but Calgary, oh, you can get alot worse. My only hope is your top pick in 2014 will have the fire in his belly like Taylor Hall does, and we see good games again.

Taylor Hall may have fire in his belly, but when he does crashing in the boards and all, the only burn he will feel is the broken bones in his ankle, knee or head. The Nuge is already twice broken.

Exactly my point but we didn't make up your name, that was all you. We did do the celebration. Which you tried to copy. The stabbing was your own twist. Stabbing each other during a celebration. Who is retarded?

Still you, Jeff. I dont think you understood what I wrote. There was no Kopper Kilometer or Blue Mile. There is only Whyte Ave. It isnt a name we copied from Calgary. 82nd Avenue is actually called Whyte Ave. All the time.

I know its been a while since anything good happened in Calgary, but do you actually think that you guys invented the concept of people congregating in front of bars in 2004? If that's the case then every city that's ever been to the Cup final in history probably owes Calgary some royalties.

This game is actually a no brainer, the Flames will be tired, (back to back) they can only go on adrenaline for so long. They will not be able to keep up with the speed of the Oilers and there will be a number of odd man rushes leading to penalties (#1 PP), sublime goaltending (Kipper), and glorious goals (Ebs, Hall, RNH). By the end of the game it will be clear, we just entered the next phase of the rebuild, and it is wonderful.

Going back further don't forget other first round errors...Stillman, Daniel Tkachuk, Rico Fata, Brent Krahn, Trevor Kidd. Basically every year they had a top 10-12 pick. Thank god we hit the odd basehit in later rounds and trades. Amazing we don't suck worse then we currently do. Sven looks like a keeper though, hope you get to see him tonight. Cheers Edmonites (thanks Mike Tyson).

Review both Chicago and Pittsburghs point totals within 3 years AFTER their 3rd high (or lottery) pick.

The 3rd year was where the big jump started. We're 2 yrs removed from Hall, 1 yr from RNH, and have another lottery pick coming. At the end of Halls RFA contract, the Oilers will be competitive with any team in the league, and likely be a playoff team.

Do you honestly believe Calgary can fill the gaps on their roster in 3 seasons to make them better than they are now? Kiprusoff, Iginla are already on the back 9, and Baertschi (sp) may end up being a great prospect, but not Art Ross/Rocket Richard trophy winner.

We already have two 30 goal scorers in Edmonton that we didn't have 3 seasons ago. Where will Calgary replace their *stifledlaughter*offense from?

But everyone in Edmonton thought there would be significant improvement this year with Hall, Eberle & RNH in the line up. I'm just saying, ya you'd better be pushin for a playoff spot this time next year - at what point for you would it be considered a failure?

I'm not disagreeing that Calgary will have holes. I'm well aware of the issues that could face this team in a few years. Too many Sutter years of playing for the now has hurt us, but already we're making strides at improving the farm & prospects. Difference is we're not having to tank to do it. We got a damn good prospect in Baertschi & didn't have to suck to get him - where the decision on who to draft could be made by a monkey.

I never said Baertschi would be Rocket Richard winner or any kind of trophy for that matter. Do you have to have a guy win that to be competitive & push for a Stanley cup or something?

The point I'm making is that this group in Edmonton hasn't shown me anything yet. Columbus was a cap team this year & has drafted high for years - there are no guarantees of anything.

and as expected when your team tanks - the "fans" will all of the sudden look really similar to empty seats, which will make the US economy "BAIL" out look like a warm summer day. and likely your future is a great as the Nevada real estate market right now.

It is all good for us - cuz when we buy up seats for the next decade of BOA blowouts in the saddledome, flames fans will be paying out their own pockets for someone to please take the tickets away.

Can you explain how Sven is still up? This was an emergency call was it not? I'd think that they've had plenty of time to get someone from Abottsford by now.

As per Feaster's comments on a CGY radio station, by the 3rd emergency the team can dip into the junior ranks. Feast waited until the 4th E.CU. so he can opt to send back 1 AHLer 1st. When the 2nd regular is ready to return, the junior player has to go back to his junior team. Unless, I believe, they keep him past his 9 games and burn the 1st year on his contract. CGY couldn't possibly do that because we already have the maximum 50 contracts.

Jeff, really good stuff. Funny as hell. You have an obvious talent. Don't waste it. You could do this professionally. BTW I told your Mom the same thing and she took my advice. You're Dad's name is John isn't it?

I have to say I'm impressed with the chatter on here, good old fashioned ribbing between 2 non-playoff rivals. I'm impressed with how classy the comments are from the Flames contigent...I guess I sometimes pair you with the classless Canucks fans in my head...I'll try to stop that. That being said, I can NOT stand that Vintage Flame guy...like I really hate him and I've never met him.

That being said, if the Flames keep the top pick this year and don't trade it off, they might start having a little bit of a farm team worth looking at...there's no doubting Sven is a talent, but outside him I'm not impressed.

I'm going to be at the game tonight...in the nosebleeds where the true die-hards come out no less...this should be fun tonight.

Exactly my point but we didn't make up your name, that was all you. We did do the celebration. Which you tried to copy. The stabbing was your own twist. Stabbing each other during a celebration. Who is retarded?

Woooh! Wait. I must have mossed something. The flames made up celebrating in the streets after a sports victory. I guess this never happened in Europe years ago when soccer was being played.

Also I may be wrong on this, but wasnt the red mile right outside pengrowth. Meaning people were celebrating on there way home after the game. In Edmonton we all got together on a place independent of the arena to celebrate. Not just simply cause it was convenient.

Also no edmontonian ever called it the copper kilometer. That was the media, and most likely out of COWTOWN.

I Hate everything Calgary. Except the girls i leave a little bit of Edmonton
in every time i reluctantly have to go there.

Bashing aside- I will give the this, that Sven dude is a player.
Its too bad his talents will waste in Horse crap city.

He would look awesome lined up with real Talent like Hall-Eberle and RNH. Not Gramps Iginla and Ollie Jokeanin. Now he reminds me
of everything Calgary.. OVER RATED.

You should be careful about the 'girls' comments, all of CGY's street walkers come from Edmonton. They want to be paid in cash not cigarettes and booze (they'll go buy those on their own thank you). Besides, they're probably your sisters and cousins so, you know... gross!

As for Sven, better one wasted talent than 3 or 4... oh, and don't forget your soon to be #5 top prospect. ...Everything Edmonton...NOT RATED!!!

Not yet Kent. But on that one magical day where Kesler finally cant hold the canucks on his back and the sedins show that they cant handle physical hockey the province will unite, the stars will align and Flames and Oilers fans will sing and laugh together for about two minutes. Maybe an hour if another riot breaks out.