Recently, people have been sharing their Three Happy Things on Facebook. Not feeling the love, mum of three Lucy Mason decides to list her Three Angry Things instead.

Three Angry Things

I’ve noticed the ‘Three Happy Things’ posts doing the rounds on Facebook lately, where people name three things that make them happy, every day for a week, and share them with all of their friends.

While I appreciate the sentiment behind it: cheering yourself up, reminding yourself and everyone else that the glass is half full etc, I am not feeling it myself.

A perfect storm of PMT, full moon at the weekend, and physical and mental exhaustion from end-of-school-year activities (so far: three sports days, two open classrooms, three meet-the-new-teachers, endless card signings and teacher present donations) has left me far more interested in what really, really pisses me off this week.

1) Adults on scooters

I love scooters for kids, even more so since reading this horribly typical Mail Online article recently. But I cannot bear to see grown-ups riding on them, even the special adult sized scooters – it just doesn’t seem right.

I’ve discussed this with friends and it seems I’m on my own here. I can’t quite put my finger on why, but I feel similar about a man in his 40s wearing skater clothes, or women past the age of 25 with their hair in bunches. I guess it’s a dignity thing.

Where I live several parents scoot to school with their kids, and I can’t help secretly hoping they will fall off one day (without serious injury, obviously).

2) Snails

My kids and I are proud founding members of the Snail Squad. Whenever we see a snail stranded in the middle of the pavement we pick it up and place it in a cool, shady spot in a nearby front garden, and then congratulate ourselves on saving its life.

But in our own garden they are not so popular. It’s not just that they eat our plants, they are EVERYWHERE – behind the slide, under the paddling pool, slithering around the lawn, all waiting to be trodden on by my bare feet while I’m hanging out the washing.

Once I even found one mashed up inside the shed door lock after I’d squashed it with the key. I can’t bring myself to put snail pellets down and undo all our Snail Squad good karma. I just wish they’d find somewhere else to live. (We’ve started throwing them over the neighbour’s wall so hopefully they will soon.)

3) School trips to Tesco

By far the most irritating of my Three Angry Things is hearing about a Reception year trip to Tesco supermarket. The trip is part of Tesco’s Eat Happy Project, laughingly described as its ‘long-term commitment to help tackle children’s diet-related health problems’.

This infuriates me on so many levels, not least because if Tesco want to tackle children’s diet-related health problems, why not stop selling processed, high sugar crap aimed at kids. I read this discussion thread on Mumsnet with interest and a friend and I are discussing campaigning against sending next year’s reception class on this trip, which my youngest daughter would go on.

These are just three of my main grrrs! this week. There are actually a few more but I will save them for another time.

The funny thing is I actually feel better for having shared them here. Maybe we should start something similar on Facebook to counter the wondrously optimistic Three Happy Things, and really cheer everyone up.