"What it must look and smell like when a movie brain vomits. Truly worthless."
-Variety

Sunday, December 06, 2015

Krampy Holidays

The Hunger Games saga is still tops this weekend, bug sirprise... big surprise. The Cineplex is crowded this weekend! The only fresh sapling that got any light was Krampus, debuting strong at #2. Now, I know what you're thinking... Champ Kind? It's him, right? Damn straight it is! Wow, my memory's not completely internet-based yet. Comforting in a way. Welp, the Oscars typically frown down upon horror pics, but they do occasionally give Oscar gold to those rare comedians who successfully make a transition from the yuk-yuks to the serious stuff. Robin Williams, for example. Then again, they tend to string guys along like Edward Murphy, Bill Murray and fellow Anchorman co-star Steve Carell. Still, the future's at the door and it's knocking away. Who will be the first of the Anchorman guys to win Oscar gold? I'm thinking Paul Rudd for Lifetime Achievement. Apparently Spike Lee's going to get one! Although he's apparently going to get it next year, so if he keeps appearing on talk shows this year, and having the hosts refer to him as "the Oscar-winning filmmaker" they might have to disqualify him. Kinda like how they disqualify a film that appears on TV in the same year or something. Sorry, just the sour grapes talking, I guess. But I'm old enough to remember how Chris Rock... I mean Nat X gave Spike Lee a Buster on "The Dark Side." Sorry, Nat, but when it comes to Oscar gold, he's gotta have it... see how I did that? Had to work up to it, of course, like the hack that I am.
Well, that's it for the debuts this week. Still, I can't help but see the James Bond film in the top 10 and recall how Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace couldn't quite get to #1 when they were first released. I forget what they were going up against, but apparently people just weren't ready to accept a new, different in any way James Bond. But at least Daniel Craig doesn't have to be one of these guys who, when they're talked about on the news, they say "The man who was once slated to play James Bond..." I think Ralph Fiennes used to get that. Hugh Grant, too. Yeah, Hugh Grant would've been good. "Oh! Terribly sorry, terribly sorry." Which reminds me! I've officially become a Hollywood phony in my dreams, because I was dreaming about doing an interview with a girl who appeared in a Terry Gilliam film, and I asked her if she's competing with Saoirse Ronan for the same roles. What can I say? That's the type of softie I am. I take a lot of crap from my dreams. Look, kids! There's three moons in the sky, and they're moving around like an amoeba under the microscope. That's not unusual, right? So what else is new?