I don't disagree with Venker that being in a healthy relationship and creating a family can enrich your life beyond what a career can, but I also recognize that many women care dearly about their careers. Just as a woman shouldn't rely on her career to define herself, she shouldn't rely on a man to define herself either. It's all about balance.

The problem is when we want an alpha male, we are threatening the ingrained role in men's DNA from caveman days of needing to be the provider. An alpha male looks at Katie and doesn't know how to play the provider role of being able to give to Katie in a way that will make her happy.