Thursday, December 24, 2009

(Lights up on Vic with his reading glasses on, sitting in a chair and reading the newspaper. Terrence and Kimberly enter.)

TERRENCE

Hey, Dad.

VIC (getting up)

Hey, Terrence, give your old man a hug.

(He does.)

VIC (continuing)

And Kimberly. You’re looking sharp, young lady.

KIMBERLY

Thanks, Dad.

VIC

Can I get you something? I think there’s some beer in the garage.

TERRENCE

No, that’s okay. We just stopped by to give you some news.

VIC

News? “Sit down” news or“for he’s a jolly good fella” news?

KIMBERLY

Given your age, you should sit down. It’s for the best.

TERRENCE

It’s for the best.

(Vic sits.)

VIC

Lay it on me.

KIMBERLY

Well…

TERRENCE

We’re pregnant.

VIC

You mean, she is.

TERRENCE

Yes, technically, but, you know, we’re married; I’ll be at the birthing.

KIMBERLY

It sounds nicer.

TERRENCE

More importantly, within the year, you’ll be able to hold a grand child in your arms before you die.

VIC

Before I die?

TERRENCE

Yeah. You kick the bucket, soon.

KIMBERLY

You are getting up there.

TERRENCE

We were going to wait longer to have kids, but thought we better pop one out so you could see it.

VIC

Why, so I can stand up and applaud your testicles?

KIMBERLY

So you can see for yourself the continuation of your own family before…

VIC

Before I bite it. Listen here, I don’t plan on going anywhere. According to Willard Scott and Smucker’s, I’ve got a good thirty years left and I’m going to use every one of them. I’ll hold several grand kids.