Scientists Have Discovered Sharks That Live in a Volcano

No word yet on whether or not they've been trained to kill James Bond.

Let's get this out of the way right off the bat: Sharks are wildly overrated. If everybody who claimed to love Shark Week actually watched Shark Week, we'd have a Shark Channel by now. But we don't. If Giant Squids had the same publicists that sharks have, we'd all be talking about Squid Week. Now, that said, this piece of news is both cool and terrifying.

Scientists were studying an active underwater volcano near the Soloman Islands called Kavachi. They took a boat out and dropped a camera into the volcano. And what did they find? If you've been paying attention you'd know they found sharks. I mean come on. It's pretty obvious from context clues that they discovered a Sharkcano.

And for those of you that would scoff at this and say "Well it's an underwater volcano, so that's not that impressive." First, fuck you for being the type of person who watches NBA highlights and points out every travel. Second, what, did you think that these sharks had magically found a way to swim in a land-locked volcano? Are you an idiot? And finally, third, you should read a little from Carolyn Barnwell over at National Geographic about exactly what an underwater volcano entails.

It’s a dangerous place though. “Divers who have gotten close to the
outer edge of the volcano have had to back away because of how hot it
is or because they were getting mild skin burns from the acid water."…

“These large animals are living in what you have to assume is much
hotter and much more acidic water, and they’re just hanging out,”
Phillips says. “It makes you question what type of extreme environment
these animals are adapted to. What sort of changes have they
undergone? Are there only certain animals that can withstand it? It is
so black and white when you see a human being not able to get anywhere
near where these sharks are able to go.”

These are sharks that can live in acid water. These sharks will kill James Bond. These sharks are so badass that they almost singlehandedly make up for how overrated most sharks are.