Screeching New Jersey Fat Man Snags Five Million YouTube Hits

Have you seen those comical YouTubes of the fat man in New Jersey berating people, on YouTube? They’re gold. Usually they’ve got a teacher, a unionized teacher, and this teacher asks the fat man a question and the fat man goes, “DIE YOU AWFUL TEACHER, DIE NOW, DIE DIE DIE,” and the teacher’s all like, “Uh…” Love this fat guy on YouTube; can’t get enough of it. And now this “fat man screaming at teachers” guy’s racked up 5 million YouTube hits. “Hit 5 million views on YouTube!” he tweeted today, on Twitter. “What better way to celebrate than to take a look back to see how we got here.” What a day.

This man “should be President of America”:

But as NJ.com notes, New Jersey Fat Man Hollerin’ At Folks getting five million views for all of his videos isn’t really that much:

Christie, however, is not the biggest YouTube celebrity out there. The video for Justin Bieber’s “Baby” clocks in at number one, with 755 million views.

And a video of a cat riding a Roomba — a disc-shaped robotic vacuum cleaner — still has 2.4 million more hits than all of Christie’s videos combined.

It’s time for the fat man to set his sights on higher vistas:

Fat New Jersey Man Rides a Roomba

Famous New Jersey Fat Man Molests/Eats Justin Bieber

The Fat Man Who Yells At Teachers Sits On a Cat And Kills The Cat Because He’s So Fucking Fat

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

So now teachers are the new gays or what? I can't keep up with who the Rs are hating on.

Jus_Wonderin

Should I say it?????

PubOption

Admirable restraint.

BaldarTFlagass

Everyone but themselves.

tbogg

To be fair, he could lose a few…

Isyaignert

…a few hundred.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

His "greatest hits" video didn't include the salami hoagie from last night.

Or the one from breakfast.

chascates

Just waiting on that vein to pop in his forehead.

Dumbedup

As a native, I can tell you, there are so many guys just like him in N.J, spouting off from barstools, yelling and screaming about "the blacks" and "the spics" and so on, it's no wonder he has a ready audience, but he's nothing special, just one of many in that tragic and colorful state.

Biel_ze_Bubba

Next election, voting should be over with by noon. With the barfly demographic taken out, maybe somebody less obnoxious will have a shot at the governorship.

ttommyunger

You are not alone (whimper) Georgia is chock full of the same.

BaldarTFlagass

What does the honey badger think?

MissTaken

Honey badger don't give a fuck.

An_Outhouse

Honey badger don't give a fat fuck.

neiltheblaze

He's pretty thin-skinned for a blubber butt.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

In fairness, if you tried packing twenty five hundred pounds of crap into a half-ton ugly bag of mostly water, you'd be stretched pretty thin too.

neiltheblaze

We're extending the Star Trek references I see.

http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

That was a good one.

edgydrifter

When Chris Christie bites your head off for asking him a question, he'll go ahead and eat the rest of you, too.

BaldarTFlagass

Maybe they'll post a Youtube of him singing along to some Springsteen tune.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

o/~ Tramps like us, baby we were born to gorge…..nomNOMnomnom, nom nom nom noooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm o/~

There is absolutely nothing likeable about this jackass — so no wonder he's such a popular governor in New Jersey.

C_R_Eature

"Get in Mah Belly!!"

freakishlywrong

No wonder Bruce hates him.

mavenmaven

Fat man in a little coat, anyone?

Eve8Apples

Screeching fat guy on the Intertube? Who digitized and uploaded the Sam Kinison monologues?

Nostrildamus

Chris Christie + pack of hungry hyenas = YouTube Gold

1stNewtontheMoon

you've got to think boehner is praying mittens picks this schlub. then boehner is just one jupiter space god believin' frontier religion wacko heartbeat and one chicken wing away from being president.*

*assuming 'Murica is ready for its first mor-man junk bond trader president and the republicans retain control of the house.

James Michael Curley

Two and a half million You Tube hits for the right side.
Two and a half million You Tube hits for the left side.

Hatemonger porkslab reminds me of the turn of the millenium internuts comic called Rush Limbaugh Eats Everything. He is so sickeningly fat he must wheeze taking a giant fourflusher threepizza shit in the morning. It is truly a shame his swollen balloonlike aortas have not cashed it in and blown out like a bald tire on broken glass.

Isyaignert

Governor Christie Kreme is giving 'joisey a bad name.

ttommyunger

I am sick and tired of all these comments aimed at making fun of this man's weight problem; it detracts from the fact that he is, in fact, a flaming asshole of epic proportions.