MIDDLESEX -- The heiress of the late, famed archeologist, Lord Croft is in custody after her estate was raided by Her Majesty’s Firearm Constabulary for violations of the Firearms Act. Removed was a virtual arsenal of homemade and modified rifles and handguns as well as other, greater weapons.

HMFC personnel discovered that the lower floors of the mansion contained a weapons production facility that included a gun smithy and robotics lab. A significant section of the lower basement had been converted from a wine cellar and fodder to a martial training area.

According to HMFC Underconstable Harvey Fletcher, “Lady Croft apparently was under the delusion that she was training to avenge her father’s death. But with the problems we have with imitation firearms being converted to real use, finding such a facility on the British mainland is very chilling indeed. This is something you would expect to find among the militia movement in the United States or perhaps the IRA.”

Lord Croft died in 1985 under suspicious circumstances. His Christian name was Richard. Lady Croft’s Christian name is Lara. ;)