ALISON Cox is the nanny charged with poisoned Ann Summers head rabbit Jacqueline Gold – daughter of West Ham owner David Gold – by poisoning her dinner with screen wash. Cox- and what better name for an Ann Summers nanny than that? – was looking after Gold’s daughter Scarlett at the family mansion in Whyteleafe, Surrey.

Gold said her dinner tasted funny. The soup was tested. And the allegation is that it was spiced with soapy window wash.

Cox has been arrested and charged with three counts of “administering poison with intent to annoy”.

Yeah, really. It is, is it not, the greatest charge of the year. The point. M,’lud, was not to kill nor maim; it was only meant to annoy. That gun was meant to antagonise. That knife was meant to rankle.

We will learn more when cox appears at South East Surrey Magistrates’ Court in Redhill on January 5.

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Models Jo Hicks (left) and Holly McGuire model the festive look at the opening of the Ann Summers store in Manchester's Trafford Centre. This is the first Ann Summers lingerie shop to open in Manchester. lwpgals