Snooki’s Pregnant AND Engaged Now

Because these kids are all moral-filled canolis, Snooki’s boyfriend Jionni LaValle has reportedly decided to make an honest woman out of the Ewok he fucked without a condom on, according to People. Except he should probably wait for a DNA test considering the list of potential fathers continues to grow each day along with the list of people who’ve seen Snooki naked and pray she miscarries for the sake of child. Via TMZ:

“I hope for her sake … not to be rude or anything … but I hope she has a miscarriage.”
Emilio tells us he does believe Snooki will eventually be a good mother — but insists … there’s no way in fist-pumping hell she’s ready for it now.
According to Emilio, Snooki has always been flippant about having kids … and never really grasped the gravity of being pregnant — “When I was with her, she said she wanted twins. She would always say ‘Let’s have twins.'”
Emilio says, “I would def recommend her to get a paternity test to see who the father is because I’m sure there are other subjects” — adding, “Vinny could easily be the father.”

Emilio also says Snooki would pull a “Kim Kardashian” if she gets married which I highly doubt considering we’ve seen how Snook reacts to urine. She’s surprisingly clean- Oh, wait, he’s talking about getting a divorce right after the wedding. Yeah, she’ll probably do that.