Game of Thrones Viewers Denied First Sex Scene of the Season for 15 Minutes, Targeted in Cruel April Fool’s Joke

Americans associate Easter Sunday with dyed eggs, a steroid-enhanced rabbit, and, for 4.4 million of us last night, at least, the sex-and-violence-fueled HBO fantasy series Game of Thrones. Entertainment Weeklyreports that, in spite of the holiday, the show’s third-season premiere still managed to attract 13 percent more viewers than its Season Two opener did, yielding a record for the series. (Speaking of records,Game of Thronesmade viewers wait about 15 minutes last night before showing any kind of sex, which in this case was provided by Bronn and a King’s Landing prostitute. Who said that G.O.T.can’t summon some modesty on Easter Sunday?)

In other pressingGame of Thronesnews, beware that there is a nasty rumor circulating the Internet today that Peter Dinklage, the crown jewel of the G.O.T.cast, will not be returning for the show’s fourth season. Reported by HBO Watch around midnight this morning—just as we started feeling the effects of an epic Iron-Throne-ale-induced hangover, a mock press release alleged that the British comedian Warwick Davis would take over the role of Tyrion while Dinklage would leave to play a love interest on The Big Bang Theory. Even though it is April Fool’s Day, Peter Dinklage’s departingGame of Thrones is never something to joke about. Doesn’t HBO know that we’ve already been through enough heart-wrenching casting upsets this year?