Pick a Side Stupid: Curtains (Questions about famous people passed)

This week’s comedy debate show has to do with famous and infamous people that have passed away. All the questions will relate to that in some way.

Below I’ve listed every question that will be asked during the show tonight at Maggy’s Lounge in Quincy 7pm. I’m looking forward to seeing how our comedians handle each question. Come join us tonight or check out the Pick a Side Stupid podcast next week to listen to the hilarious debates.

I’ve broken the questions down to six different categories.

Athletes:

Which of these orphans would you rather adopt Babe Ruth or Edgar Allan Poe? (Athletes/Authors)

If an athlete does steroids, when they pass away do we have to put an asterisk on their tombstone? – David McLaughlin

If your whole soccer team is gonna die together, would you prefer an obscure terrorist attack like Togo in 2010 OR that lightning electrocutes all your feet on the field like Congo 1998? – Angela Sawyer

Authors:

Should you go gently into that good night or should you go in kicking and fighting like a mother-fucker? – Sarah Morgan

Mark Twain once wrote “Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated”. Would you rather have people believe you’re dead when you are in fact still alive OR have people believe you’re still alive when you’re dead?

Who would you rather have write you a poem: Ralph Waldo Emerson or Jim Morrison?

What happens to Scientologists when they die? They are buried and mourned or they go live in a space-ship with L Ron Hubbard?

Artists:

You’re at paint-night. Would you rather be sitting next to Pablo Picasso OR Vincent Van Gogh?

You need a fresh coat of paint on your living room ceiling. Who would you rather hire: Michelangelo or Norman Rockwell?

First day of art school, who do you want as your professor: Leonardo Da Vinci or Bob Ross?

Best last words: Salvador Dali (“Where is my clock?”) or convicted murderer Thomas J. Grasso before his execution (“I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s. I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this”) – Ken Green

Show Biz:

Jerry Garcia’s ashes were spread into a polluted river. Was this appropriate? – Steve Albert

What’s the worse fate, being murdered by the president of your fan club or being played by Jennifer Lopez in your bio-pic? – Ted Pettingell

Best last movie: Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight OR Raul Julia in Street Fighter? – Ted Pettingell

Royalty:

Would you rather die a virgin like Sir Isaac Newton or having thousands of offspring like Ghangis Kahn? – Craig Bidiman?

You’re 16th century astronomer Tycho Brahe. You need to use the restroom at a fancy dinner but etiquette dictates that you wait for the highest power to get up before you do. Do you break from tradition and relieve your bladder but piss off the royals OR do you hold it so long that your bladder becomes infected and you die but with respect? – Nate Shu

Which royal fate would you rather suffer: Emperor Qin Shi Huang, died from mercury poisoning after his alchemist told him mercury would make him immortal OR Viking King Sigurd, who died from an infection caused by the severed head of his enemy “biting” his thigh? – May Keith

You’re an 18th century queen. It’s pretty good. You’re served by all and in charge of a nation. But you’re going to die on the toilet. Better to have a stroke so hard the chambermaids start a rumor that you were having sex with a horse (Catherine the Great, 1796)? Or perhaps a strangulated hernia so disgusting that Alexander Pope writes a poem about it (Caroline of Ansbach, 1737, “Here lies, wrapped up in 40 thousand towels, the only proof that Caroline had bowels”)? – Angela Sawyer

Politicians:

Worst part of being Julius Caesar: having your best friend stab you in the back OR having a salad named after you?

Which Russian political figure would you rather have to assassinate: Rasputin, who allegedly survived cyanid poisoning, beatings, and 3 gunshots before drowing in a river OR Leon Trotsky who took an axe to the head and then beat the shit out of his would be assasin? – May Keith

Would you rather be beheaded by your starving peasants during a revolution OR shot in the back of the head while you’re just trying to enjoy a stupid play? – May Keith