Why These Tinder Super-Users’ Bios Work (Almost) Every Time

We call them thumb-stoppers.

Ava McCartney

Feb 02, 2019 | 2:00 PM

Photo by Guille Faingold/Stocksy

Like negotiation, communication, and weaseling your way into the front row of a Beyonce concert, Tinder bios are an art, not a science. Of course, that makes the whole thing more complicated — and hell, it makes it harder for us to guide you.

These six fellow Tinder users, who are among the most popular in the U.S., however, seem to have it figured out. Translation: Their bios are attracting a lot of the right kind of attention. We tracked them down, politely asked (read: begged) them to share the secrets of their ways, and now, here we are, spilling the beans.

“It helps answer questions people may be wondering [about]. Is he nice? I wonder how tall he is? “Where’s he from? It can also be used as a conversation starter. And I like sharing my Instagram and Twitter accounts because if people want to know more about me, they can check those out to help them make a final decision.” —Jordan, 28

Very Bisexual.Dead animals make me sad so if there’s a fish in your photo I probably shed a tear as I swiped you left.

“It lets people know two very important things about me: 1) I don’t really care about the gender of the people I’m attracted to so if that’s a turnoff for them, they can [opt out]. And 2) If they love fishing or hunting, they know why they didn’t match with me.” —Christina, 22

Cooking, hanging, camping, traveling, laughing. All the good stuff.

“That’s me in a nutshell — what I enjoy and what I want to share with others. It’s also my criteria. You don’t have to do all those things yourself, but I will be doing them, so if you’re not interested, there are plenty of other fish left in the sea!” —Collin, 34

Can open jars, reach top shelves, and kill spiders. I’m also a terrible golfer and not so great at math, but have other redeeming qualities.

“I think witty, self-deprecating humor and a subtle reference to one’s positive attributes is a winning combination. It also opens the door to some playful banter, which in my experience is usually the best way for Tinder conversations to start out.” —Kevin, 29

I’m a research scientist/neuroscientist living and working in Vancouver. Into sports, video games, travel and nature. I’m the kinda guy you’d love to take home to show your mum. She’d love me. We’d fall in love. I’d marry her. I’m your dad now.

“It pretty succinctly sums up what I do and like whilst being, I guess, a little funny. It gives a good overall idea of who I am but also is approachable. My job title has a lot of stereotypes attached to it, so it’s important to be approachable, and humor is a great way to do that.” —Adam, 32

Coastal. Curious. Calm. Mostly water. I don’t like the person I become when I’m tracking a UPS package.

“I like having a bio that’s concise and somewhat insightful to my general traits. And it is an accurate description on my take on daily life.” —Gerald, 27