Thursday, May 13, 2010, 8:24 am

Welcome to Christwire.org, Where Liberals Are Ruining the World

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By Sara Peck

Just when you thought Fox’s “fair and balanced” shtick or The Onion was the most outrageous way to amuse yourself at work, a supposedly Christian website gives them a run for their funny. Christwire.org, a creation of self-proclaimed “youth pastor” Jack Gould aimed to “combat the evil liberals of this world and once again ensure that a bit of freedom and righteousness once again,” is hilarious—but hard to classify.

With headlines like “How to spot a masturbator,” it’s hard to tell, like Fox News, if the whole thing is satire or not. Are youth pastors even allowed to write “masturbator,” even in the name of spreading abstinence and Christly love? The headlines look like they were fished out of Stephen Colbert’s trash bin (“Insane Clown Posse Makes Black Rappers Look Like Shirley Temple” ), but the body of the articles juxtapose pedantic, dogmatic language with statements like “I wish Bill O’Reilly would have punched the violent j clown in the face!” Some semi-serious posts like “Sarah Palin—This is a Christian nation” make it plausible, but who ever heard of vajazzling, or even more ridiculously, that college-aged males need to be tricked into casual sex?

Christwire is an independent organization with no relationship to the satirical newspaper The Onion. I’m not sure where this rumor originated, but there is no truth to it whatsoever. It is clear from the design and writing of the site that it is un-affiliated and unique. We have had traffic server problems and advertising issues in the past, something a company connected to the Onion would surely not have.

Please stop spreading this rumor as it is very damaging to our reputation and I have zero respect for those people. Thank you.