garrote

garrote

noun A weaponised device used for assassination and as a device for capital punishment in the Iberian peninsula (until being abolished in the late 1970s). Garrotes consist of a choking part (e.g., cord, rope, band, wire, etc.), which is looped around the victim’s neck, and a twisting part, which is tightened until the victim expires. First used by the Romans to dispatch enemies of state, the Spanish and Portuguese used the garrote in the Middle Ages and in the colonisation of the New World.

By late on Christmas Day, the festive glow has often been replaced by an overwhelming desire to garotte flatulent Aunt Fanny and bury her in the garden under a headstone reading: "Under this sod lies another.

He also denies 12 other charges of possessing nail and pipe bombs with intent to endanger life, possessing three knives, an axe and a garotte, and having an imitation firearm with intent to commit an offence.

What's more, this is a proper Christmas - no shopping, no mother-in-law to stay, no goodwill drinks with neighbours you'd rather garotte with cheesewire, no children waking at 3am and asking whether it's time to get up, no weepies on the box and no dried-out turkey in your sarnies for a week.

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