Best Valentine Ever.

7:30 a.m. Valentine’s Day about 7 years ago (I’ve been working on this awhile, okay?)

Me: What the fuck have you done?

Gus: Huh?

ME: THERE IS A GOAT ON OUR PORCH. A GOAT WITH ORANGE POLKA DOTS.

Gus: You should probably get some sleep. (I used to work nights.)

Me: Seriously, you have got to see this.

*Ok, so this was going to be a picture of said goat. Unfortunately, someone has sabotaged me and I can’t find the damn picture. However, I googled “spray painted goat” and apparently this is an act of terrorism and animal cruelty. I had no idea I was part of an epidemic. Sweet.

Gus: Holy shit.

Me: Did you spray paint that goat? Because I think that might be illegal.

Gus: Is that a sticker on its ass?

Me: Yeah. It says “do not remove.”

Gus: Can I keep it?

Me: Are you fucking kidding me? Where did you get this goat? WHY did you get this goat?

Gus: I’m gonna try to catch it.

**He did not catch it. He claims that he doesn’t know where it came from, nor who painted it and put a sticker on its goat-ass. I have my doubts. I went to sleep and when I got up the goat was gone. Gus was very upset about the loss.

It's easy to share this post. Not like sharing pie. I would never ask you to share pie.

This is all MY stuff. Don’t take my stuff.

My blog has recently been added to Blog Nation, which is part of one of the largest networks of blog directories on the Web. Please visit my blog's personal page to vote for my blog and comment to other blog users.