31 August 2006

literary licenssssse

Well, ya just know it hadda happen. And ya know it hadda happen to me. Cuz it's all about ME.

(by the way, how are ya?)

Last year, or the year before, so many seasons, so many infestations, pft, who knows when it happened?Anyway, I had skinks in my office. Well not IN my office, they lived in between the outer metal siding andinner panelling of my trailer, ya know in the walls. They would push their way up through a little hole inthe window sill and sun themselves, basking in the luxurious heat trapped between the outer window andthe inner plastic that I covered my window frame with. They were a lovely pair, the male had a red waddle,ya know, that loose skin that hangs beneath your chin in the neckish area. Well, not YOUR neck; my neck,the skink's neck, and my paternal grandmother had 3 of them (she was really really fat, short, but fat).

I was not terribly fond of them though, waddles nor skinks. So my landlord came up and filled the hole withliquid expanding foam that is stickier than shit (well,i would assume so, but i could be wrong, cuz i don'treally feel shit very often and ya know they DO say "slicker than shit" too, so how can something by stickierAND slicker, i dunno and anyway why would they use shit as a reference point?). But when the Great Stuff(that is what it is called, really. comes in a red can, with yellow script and once ya start to use it, that's it, thecan can not be used again. it truly is a one shot deal) dries, it hardens into a dense foam that rivals styrofoam and is a great insulator. Plus it plugs up holes.

So, today, imagine how fast I skedaddled from my lil nappage post when I awoke eye to uhm eye? with a reptilian critter today. Sssssssssssslim SSssssssssssssslender, the snake, dropped by to visit,very neighborly of him. And I do mean neighborly in the true sense as he is living between my walls,like the skink family had. Once he realized that I was lesssssss than charmed (i'm sure), hessssssslithered back from whence he came, rather fasssssssssst.

SSssssssssssseee, it'ssssssss like thisssssssssss...

I have two sets of large windows in my living space. The set behind Shaddow's ssssssofahassssssssss a rotted corner in the sssssssill and Sslim Ssslender came up through the hole,wadded his entire sssssslinky ssssvelte sssself into the space and basssssssked in thessssssssssun. Except for one problem, the plastic is not used to that sort of stressssand a few of the staples came loose and that snake just poked his head and uhm neck?around the edge and peered at me til i woke up (cuz i get that don't-stare-at-me-while-i-am-sleeping thing, cuz staring at someone while they are sleepingmay SEEM cute and sweet and romantic, but it's just downright creepy).

I do live on a farm, but dude! i don't particularly care for critters to startle me when nappingand things like that. no, can't be having that. i mean, what's next? are they gonna wannasnuggle up to me for warmth? no, no, and no, thank you. i drawn the line at mysssssssssspace being invaded to THAT degree. i mean, there are a few privilegedcritters that get to snuggle with me; shaddow, ziggee, and my guy.