Lumpy Bum, Wild Dreams & Pretty Red Toenails

Ahhh, the return of progesterone in my arse. Three injections in and my booty has it’s lumps and husband has the spots circled so he doesn’t jab ’em twice (well, until I went into the pool, and promptly wiped last night’s off, heh). It doesn’t matter how much it gets warmed, rubbed, or how long I walk around for afterwards, lumpy bum sooner or later is just part of the deal.

Along with that, when I fall asleep, I fall hard into the one of those long crazy epic-like dreams that made no sense. Something about a six-year-old driving an RV and me shaving my head a la Kristen Stewart, except the back of my hair wasn’t quite shaved and had lots of long strands of hair randomly hanging off my scalp. Not exactly one you can do dream interpretation on, heh.

I’ve decided that I’m going to throw in a mini antihistamine protocol into the mix for immunology’s sake. I’m already taking Prednisone for this plus baby aspirin, so basically every night I’m going to take a Benadryl, since there’s no harm in it (and it’s okay to take if your pregnant), through the implantation window. I figure since it’s our last shot and this kind of thing was developed by a fertility clinic, and doesn’t hurt either way, I might as well. And hey, we’ll see if that chills out progesto-dreams or makes them even more exciting, wheee!

**By the way, if anyone has done an antihistamine protocol please comment and let me know what you took, how many days before your embryo transfer he started taking it, and how many days you took it for. Thanks!**

For this last cycle, husband and I are really trying to minimize cynicism and negativity, and try really hard to focus on the positive. Examples:

See a pregnant person? Consider it a sign of good luck.

See an exasperated mum and dad in the grocery store? Think “hey, maybe that’ll be us someday” and try to smile.

See the things in our dining room – slash – my office – slash – future baby room (like these wood blocks I carved and wood-burned last year when we were pregnant) and visualize them being played (rather than being used as kindling if this doesn’t work).

You know, stuff like that.

But I gotta say, when Nancy “Why Me?” Kerrigan goes on Dancing With The Stars and they hype up her secondary infertility and then you find out she had her first baby naturally, then two others after a few miscarriages, and she gives the “never give up” speech because now that she’s on the other side, she is an expert? Fuck her. There is nothing more irritating than those certain few who have made it and then think because of that they know what’s best for those still fighting (see this post I did last year if you want my thoughts on secondary infertility).

Anyhoo, back to sweet positivity. 🙂

And so while some wear lucky socks for their transfer (I did that in the past), the one thing I have wanted (as back injuries tend to make you want desperately to be able to do the things you cannot while healing) so much is to be able to have pretty toenails. Let’s just say that with my herniated disc, things that most don’t think about like putting on socks and shoes, clipping their toenails, and yes, occasionally painting them, are neither easy nor fun. And sitting long enough for a pedicure (or haircut, or long romantic meal for that matter) is still not something I can do, so I asked husband if he’d be willing to help me have pretty toes as good luck for Friday. And he was happy to 🙂 Because he’d never painted a nail, as anyone would I insisted he try it on his own fingers first (good thing as the first time he globbed it on pretty thick, so I showed him how then he did it quite well for a newbie, including a second coat and a topcoat), and well – YAY feet! I may not be a makeup gal but I do dig a pretty set of toenails 🙂

So, on that note, I am heading in for my fertility massage with Sheila later this morning. She is who I went to on Cycle Four (the lady from cycles 1-3 gave it up to become a doula, ironically, and the lady from cycle 5 was my old crazy naturopath who will never see another dime from me) where I had my only bfp. She does Maya Abdominal Therapy to help increase blood flow to the area, and her office is peaceful and not far from mi casa, which is pretty rad. Tomorrow I’ll have acupuncture and PT, Thursday my last relaxation massage with my regular LMT and a half hour with my chiro to loosen me up as well, then Friday is The Day. My acupuncturist meets us at the fertility clinic to do pre/post needles which I love – she’s a solid human being and a relaxing energy to be around, and worth the extra coin to have her onsite.

After so much buildup with the biopsies and such, it’s finally almost here. Wow.

What a sweet husband! That’s love, there.
And how am I six years into this thing and never heard of antihistamine protocol? Seriously. Thanks for that link—off to research I go!
Vent: I read your linked post from last May about secondary infertility and THANK YOU for writing it (the comments were closed, so I’m commenting here)! The one and only infertility support group I ever attended consisted of me and five—yes, five—other women, all of whom were all struggling with SIF. I was struggling with FIF (firstly infertility; coining my own term here). It’s TOTALLY NOT THE SAME THING! Despite a valiant effort to be understanding, I still felt like the pariah: the most infertile amongst the infertiles there. It was maddeningly frustrating to emphasize with their struggle. Grrrr. Okay, now I’m bent haha.
Anyway, best of wishes to you and here’s hoping for sweet dreams (literally).

Hallelujah! And they should be mandatory before any embryos are transferred, rather than after two or more fails as some clinics do (proving once and for all that fertility clinics are there for money first and foremost!).