Sunday, August 8, 2010

International Dating Guide

CAUCASIAN WOMENFirst date: You get to kiss her goodnight.Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position. Then you promise to marry her but will probably abandon the idea.

JAPANESE WOMENFirst date: She"s shy, so you don"t get to kiss her at all.Second date: She"ll take a bath in front of you and let you smell her panties.Third date: You get to have kinky sex with her. Then she will bid you sayonara as that was her fling before getting married to a Japanese man.MALAY WOMENFirst date: You get to touch that big breast of hers.Second date: You get to home base with her.Third date: You have to promise her that you are going to get circumcised. Then you will marry her and find out that you have to support her whole family. The only consolation is that you get to repeat the procedure three other times as allowed under Muslim law.CHINESE WOMENFirst date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happened.Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens either.Third date: You don"t even get to the third date and you have already realized nothing is going to happen.INDIAN WOMENFirst date: Meet her parents.Second date: Set the date of the wedding.Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMENFirst Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.Third Date: You get to pay her rent.

JEWISH WOMENFirst Date: You get a dynamite blowjob.Second Date: You get another great blowjob.Third Date: You tell her you"ll marry her and never get head again.MEXICAN WOMENFirst Date: You give her $20 and have really good sex.Second Date: you give $25 and have really good sex with her younger sister.Third Date: You give her $30 and have sex with her younger brother.

IRISH WOMENFirst Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.