Friday, May 11, 2018

I've been pretty quiet. Pulling back from my usual facebook oversharing. Because when you don't have something nice to say, and all that jazz. I'd been going through something that I didn't see as a problem until it became a big problem.

See, moms of 3 kids are supposed to be a little tired, a little mom-brained, a little wiped out. So for a long time I thought it was normal.

And then I couldn't get through the day without a nap. Even on days when I had very little required of me I was exhausted to my bones. I had never been so unreasonably tired. Not even when I was growing humans. Not even when I was solo parenting and coordinating a 5k and working full time. Never, have I been as excruciatingly tired as I have been over the last year.

When casually discussing my cudling, climbing children, I mentioned to a friend the lightening like pain I have when the children touch certain parts of my leg, back, and shoulders. The way their tiny little elbows feel as though I'm being stabbed. My sweet babies causing me physical pain. I thought they were just bony. My dear friend then pointed out that the kids weigh 30lbs and should not be able to bring me to my knees in pain.

The thing that made me really frustrated, the thing that made me sit up and notice that things weren't like they are supposed to be... my memory was disappearing. Literally losing words mid-sentence. Runaway thoughts hopping a train and heading west. I couldn't articulate thoughts. And I have good thoughts sometimes... they were just gone.

And just like that I was lost. I was definitely not myself any more. I couldn't be the kind of wife, mother, friend, that I had always been. Something wasn't right.

. . .

So I made myself an appointment after a good amount of procrastination. The first medical provider ordered bloodwork, said some not nice things when it came back(maybe someday I'll do a separate post about what not to say to a patient) and I told her I was not ok just waiting for more weeks of the same symptoms, so she gave me a medication and a referral. The medication started working and the specialist was a game changer.As soon as he came in the room and heard me he knew. He listened and believed me. He agreed that my pain and fatigue and brain fog were more than a nearly middle-aged mom being worn down.

I have fibromyalgia. I have a chronic illness that has no cure. Hopefully, I will be able to manage it well and my life will be minimally impacted. The truth is, it probably won't be that easy. The bad days are pretty bad. The good days are really nice. It's only been a few weeks so I am still in the throes of research. I'm still taking it one day at a time. I'm still learning when to ask for help and when to say no to things.

This is just another thing that we will take on our journey. We have God to lead the way. He will provide. He is our anchor.

Friday, April 20, 2018

Tomorrow is our newest child's first birthday. So here are 7 things you might not know because we can't remember to blog regularly.

1... Zelda is named for the video game, but we also like to think of Zelda Fitzgerald, Zelda Williams (daughter of Robin Williams) and Zelie Martin (Mother of St Theresa) when citing references for naming her.

2... Her middle name, Rose, comes from Lucy and from Doctor Who. Lucy spent all of last summer obsessed with all things rose. Sleeping Beauty (Briar Rose) her farm kitten at Gammie's was named Rose, she asked to be called Rose. So when deciding a middle name for the new baby we wanted to include Lucy in some way. Lucy had prayed long and hard for a little sister so we thought it fitting to use Rose as a middle name in her honor. She loves telling people that she picked Zelda's middle name and anything to bond two sisters is always a plus.

3... Her birth was the easiest of all three. Even though it took 12 tries, 3 people, an ultrasound machine, and numbing medicine to get the IV in it was the quickest delivery of the three. I thank God for that... and Dr. Kalamarides. ;)

4... Zelda loves to say "mama" "dada" give kisses, and dance. She is pulling up on everything and will stand for just long enough to realize she is standing. I believe she will be walking by summer. We have embraced the idea that children will do things in their own time. Her big brother taught us that and it is a beautiful lesson to embrace.

5... Zelda LOVES her dada. This girl is our daddy's girl. She smiles the brightest when she sees Dustin. Oh, she smiles for everyone else, but she has an extra inch of smile for him. It is so beautiful to see her look at him.

6... This little lady loves to be tickled. She has an adorable laugh.

7... I cannot believe it has been a whole year with her in our lives. Adjusting to three kids has been interesting, but I wouldn't trade a second of it. God is amazing in the way he allows us to love. There is an abundance of love to be had and we are so happy to be sharing it with these amazing children.

Please say a prayer for Zelda when you read this. It is a true gift to pray for someone. May my daughter always be blessed. Happy Birthday my sweet girl.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

In my spare time, I edit a fun podcast called TV 4 Vendetta. My insincere apologies for the bad pun, but it's a really fascinating conversation about great TV shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., The Flash, Westworld, and others. But the two co-hosts, Brian and Michael, do not have children, and as such, do not mention children's shows on their podcast.

I get it. If you don't have a child, there's no way you're willingly watching Bo on the Go or Paw Patrol. But I have two children, 4.5-year-old Lucy and Neil Flynn, who turns 2 on Thursday, and I have seen a great deal of shows aimed at children. Some of it is terrible, like Caillou. Heyvi Kabisa this show is terrible. The main character is mind-numbingly annoying, and the moral lessons the show imparts on the viewer are lacking a great deal. In a nutshell, Caillou teaches you that if you whine and throw a big enough tantrum, the grownups in your life will suddenly bow to your superior wisdom.

Thankfully, not every show is terrible. Some of them are actually quite good, with great production values, a wry sense of humor, and a finished product that shows how much fun the creators had making it. Here is a list of shows, mostly unranked, that make the cut. The criteria for including shows on this list is that I've either watched them when the children weren't watching, or kept watching long after they've started a different activity.

First, the honorable mentionsLazytown. I love the production values but that's about itDaniel Tiger's Neighborhood. I LOVE watching this with the kids, but never continue watching after they've stopped. Arthur. See Above. I really do enjoy this show, and the characters are great. But I clock out when the kids do.Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse: Super self-aware comedic take on Barbie and her friends.

And here's the list.

The Lion Guard

Episodes to watch: The Return of the Roar (Pilot-movie) and The Rise of Scar
I've always admired Disney for making sure that their products had the better production values than nearly everything. True, some of their direct-to-video stuff leaves something to be desired (well, used to: their new DTV stuff is really good), and they churn out their share of obnoxiously bad programming (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is at the top of my list, despite my love of Mickey Mouse), but when they want something to be truly great, it will hit that mark.

Kion demonstrates The Roar, which channels roars from his ancestors.

Disney has a storied history of great TV programming. Duck Tales, Goof Troop, Gargoyles, to name a few. And while Lion Guard is aimed at a younger crowd than those aforementioned shows were, it is not short on fun. It's a spin-off of The Lion King (my second-favorite Disney film and probably, you could argue, their best film) featuring Simba's son Kion, who leads a group of animals, including a cheetah and hippo, called The Lion Guard. Simba has the power of the roar (think dragon shouts from Skyrim), which overpowers foes due to its strength.Their job is to protect The Circle of Life, which leads to run-ins with greedy Hyenas, crocodiles, and jackals, among other foes.

I've seen the show described as Avengers meets Lion King. Fitting since each character has their own power (Fuli the cheetah is fast, Beshte the hippo is strong, Ono the egret who has great vision, and Bunga the Honey Badger, who is fearless and is immune to venom and bee stings). Lion King meets Teen Titans is probably a better example, as the Lion Guard, like the TT, are fairly young and just starting to learn about their abilities.

The show has fantastic artwork, very reminiscent of the film, and the songs have a movie-quality feel to them. Here's my favorite, Hero Inside, and my God that baby elephant is beyond cute.

The characters have a lot of depth, and the show really nails the superhero aspect, including some great fight scenes. The music from The Lion Guard was good enough that we ended up with the soundtrack. And despite my son watching every episode at least 26 times, I absolutely love this show and would put it in my top 10 of all TV shows, not just kids stuff.

Ducktales

Episodes to watch: Woo-oo (The Pilot).

I know some folks might be averse to updating classic shows, claiming that studios have run out of ideas and are "ruining their childhood."

But honestly, this is not the case at all with DuckTales. I absolutely love the voice cast they've assembled. David Tennant does a fantastic job as Scrooge McDuck, and giving each of the nephews their own distinct personality is a welcome change from the original versions, who might as well have been clones.

It's the textbook example of nostalgia done right.

Peg + Cat

Peg + Cat

Episodes to Watch: The Pizza Problem/The Pirate Problem and Peg + Cat Save The World
A charming show on PBS with an elementary-level math focus, something I haven't seen since Square One Television went off the air. Peg and her friend Cat have such a wonderful personality, and I love that show is "animated" on graph paper. That little touch really makes this my favorite PBS show.

Elena of Avalor

Elena of Avalor

Episodes To Watch: Prince Too Charming and Spellbound
Disney does a great job with princesses, and this one isn't any different. I appreciate Elena's caring personality, and willingness to work hard to solve problems. A great role model for my daughter, and really great storylines. This should probably get the theatrical film treatment at some point.

Octonauts

Episode to Watch: Octonauts and the Snapping Shrimp
What if we made an undersea version of Star Trek for kids? That's the setting behind the book series by Vicki Wong and Michael C. Murphy and adapted into a BBC animated series. It's managed to teach me a thing or two about underwater life, and nobody is looking into the camera asking viewers at home to help.

Beat Bugs

Episode to Watch: Blackbird (featuring Sia)
A Netflix exclusive series with a focus on bugs who sing Beatles tunes. The characters, one of which voiced by Ashleigh Ball (Applejack and Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony) are charming in their own right, and the covers of Beatles tunes are really good. It had me and my daughter singing Carry That Weight for an entire week.

Spirit Riding Free

Episode to watch: Lucky and the Unbreakable Spirit
I had my doubts when I saw the same 3D artstyle that most shows use. But the theme song from this show alone earns it a spot on this list.

I totally dig it. Anyways, the show is a sequel series to the absolutely beautiful 2002 film Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron. My daughter started watching it, and it's one of those things where you watch it out of the corner of your eye, then slowly make your way to the couch to sit down and watch it, whereupon you then count down the days until the new season debuts. The characters are likeable, and their isn't any annoying comic relief aspect that most kids shows shoehorn into their episodes.

UPDATE: This post has been updated. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse have been removed in favor of Ducktales and Spirit Riding Free. You can see the original here.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Final Fantasy V by Chris Kohler

Publisher: Boss Fight books
176 pages, ISBN: 978-1-940535-18-0Release date: October 24, 2017Disclosure: I was provided a free digital version of this book for review purposes, with no grading or scoring requirement from the publisher.
I was really excited to get my hands on Chris Kohler's new book, simply titled Final Fantasy V, because Final Fantasy V had been somewhat of a mystery to me until very recently.

When I was 16, I got to borrow a SNES from a co-worker, mainly because I really wanted to play Super Mario World (this was 1998, when the only way to play a SNES game reliably was with an actual SNES machine). However, there was another game that David included with his SNES called Final Fantasy III (actually VI). I was no stranger to RPG games, having spent countless hours playing Shining Force on my Game Gear, so I gave Mario a rest and fell in love with Final Fantasy VI. From the gorgeous graphics and well-made gameplay, to the gripping story that felt like you were watching a movie, it's one of my 11 favorite games ever made, and the second-best 16-bit title ever made (Chrono Trigger takes that top spot).

So when the game was released on the PS1 as part of the Final Fantasy Anthology, it was a must-own. The other game in the set was Final Fantasy V, which looked like a lot of fun as well. I didn't get to play much of it, because shortly after getting the game, the charming yet nefarious Tony Lech borrowed it and to this day has yet to return it.

Thankfully, I've gotten a chance to play it in the past few years, as I repurchased Final Fantasy Anthology for the PS1 (for some unknown reason, you can get the physical disc for $10 on Amazon Prime). If I had never touched this game, Kohler's book would have sold me on it. The most striking thing about his book is that Kohler convinced me Final Fantasy V is the best game in the series even though I know it isn't.

If you've read my previous posts, you know that devoting time and attention to a book isn't the easiest thing for me to do. Yet I was able to breeze through the entire thing in a weekend. Kohler does an exceptional job of weaving his personal experiences with the game and the behind-the-scenes production saga that went into making Final Fantasy V. Even as someone who prides themselves on knowing a lot about video game history, there were plenty of educational experiences for me to consume.

One of my favorite parts of the book was learning about the friendly rivalry between Hironubi Sakaguchi, the creator of the Final Fantasy series and director of part V, and Yoshinori Kitase, who was the field planner, event planner, and scenario writer for Final Fantasy V. It was a joy to read about how they always tried to one-up each other, such as this passage about the team coming up with timed escapes from dungeons:

The ability to create intricate, strictly timed events was like lighter fluid on the fire of Sakaguchi and Kitase’s friendly creative rivalry. Sakaguchi would create an elaborate sequence and challenge Kitase to complete it in three minutes. Kitase would respond by creating a two-minute challenge for Sakaguchi.

Learning about these two spending their time creating challenges for each other humanized the game in a way that pixels and music could never do.

Kohler also gives plenty of strategies for completing this game in different ways. For instance, if you equip the Crown of Thorns on a Berserker, and counteract the item's HP drainage, it makes the Berserker the most powerful magic user in the game, due to the SNES not being able to handle negative numbers (it rolls the MP stat from 0 "backwards" to 255). And if you equip the Gaia Hammer, you can cast a very powerful quake spell on everyone.

This is a trick I probably never would have discovered on my own, even if you gave me a full day of web-browsing without any of my children around. And Kohler's book has plenty of strategic insight that makes it a decent strategy guide, along with a historical record of an underrated game.

Despite his belief that the PS1 version is not the best way to play it, it is the way I've been playing it in preparation for the book (on a real PlayStation 1, not a digital download on a newer system). The translation is really shoddy (saying "YESSSS!!!!!!" after every encounter is NOT what the original Japanese version says), and 5.9 seconds to load each random encounter (I timed it) might be too much for some folks to handle, but playing the game after reading his book is a brand new experience that I don't think I would have appreciated as much if Lech didn't "borrow" my copy of the game 18 years ago.

One of the things that makes the game great, Kohler contends, is being able to build and construct your own personalized Final Fantasy characters. And I agree with him 100 percent. Sure, the story is very simple (they make a good case for a simplified storyline that I won't spoil here), but being able to create a berserker with black magic skills, or a Knight with blue magic, is an amazing customization feature that I don't think we'll ever see in another Final Fantasy game. It's implemented so well that you have to regard FFV as the best of the series when it comes to gameplay mechanics. The book reveals so many amazing combinations that you can complete the game with, so if you've already played the game once or twice, reading it may inspire that third playthrough.

In closing, this is a wonderful read for fans of any genre of gaming. The behind the scenes stuff and the walk down 90s memory lane is compelling literature. Most complaints I have are too minor to waste time writing about, but the main one was a lack of photos. It would have been really great to see photos of the production team, screenshots from the game, and maybe some childhood photos of Chris with the game.

I reached out to the publisher, and they did confirm that no photos would appear in the consumer version of the book. A missed opportunity for sure, but not a deal-breaker by any stretch.

I will also caution you that the book contains some pretty significant story-line spoilers for Final Fantasy V, so if you would like to play the game and experience the plot twists for yourself, you may want to hold off on reading until you complete most of the game.

Did Final Fantasy V become my favorite FF game after reading this? My apologies Mr. Kohler, but VI will always be the best (and IX will always be the secret best). But after reading this book and playing the game side-by-side, I see why he finds the game so charming.

Now if you'll excuse me, my PlayStation and I have some lost time to make up.

Final score*:

* I am not giving this a letter grade or numerical score because I think those are invitations for people to skip the review and look at the grade, then argue on fan forums about the grade being too high or too low.

* * *

From the publisher: When Final Fantasy V was released for the Japanese Super Famicom in 1992, the game was an instant hit, selling two million copies in the first two months alone. With a groundbreaking job system that combined the usual character classes like knights, thieves, and mages with offbeat classes such as chemists, dancers, and bards, the game appeared to be a shoo-in for North American distribution. But the game was dubbed "too hardcore" for a Western audience and was swapped out with Final Fantasy Mystic Quest, a simplistic new game tailor-made for Americans.

That didn't stop a teenage Chris Kohler from tracking down Final Fantasy V. The young RPG fan got a Japanese copy of the game, used it to teach himself Japanese, and with the help of some internet companions created the first-ever comprehensive English-language FAQ of the game. As the internet narrowed the cultural gap between the East and West more each year, the game was eventually translated into English for the PlayStation, Game Boy Advance, and iOS.

Fans in the West finally got to learn what all the fuss was about. Now the acclaimed author of Power-Up and an editor at Kotaku, Kohler is revisiting the game that started his career in games journalism. Based on new, original interviews with Final Fantasy V's director, Hironobu Sakaguchi, as well as previously untranslated interviews with the rest of the development team, Kohler's book weaves history and criticism to examine one of the Final Fantasy series's greatest and most overlooked titles.

​Chris Kohler is the author of Power-Up: How Japanese Video Games Gave the World an Extra Life, and the founding editor of Game|Life, the Webby-nominated video game section of WIRED. He is currently Features Editor of Kotaku, and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area

Monday, August 14, 2017

Over the past few years, I've neglected reading. To be honest with you, I prefer a video game, as I enjoy making decisions and deciding how the story plays out, and the worlds of a great game, like the Arkham series or Bioshock Infinite, really suck me in more than a book does.

However, I decided that this year needed to be different. With a bit of sadness, I was discussing with my wife how I'd only read two books in the last 11 years: Timeline by Michael Crichton back in 2006 when I rode the bus 90 minutes to and from work each day in Pittsburgh; and Lino Rulli's autobiography Sinner a few years ago.

Sure I've read a handful of graphic novels, and more than enough online articles about sports and politics, but curling up with a good book is something I've sorely neglected in my adult life.

Thank to some inspiration from my wife and the fine folks at @drunk_Austen, I made a goal for myself to read at least 4 books this year. And, dear reader, I am proud to admit that I pulled it off. I set a new years resolution that I actually kept, something far too uncommon for most folks. And I'm not done.

Here are the four books I've completed

1. 'Lafayette in the Somewhat United States' by Sarah Vowell. I wanted to read this book because I absolutely love the musical Hamilton, and Marquis de Lafayette was the most intriguing character in the show. I really wanted to learn more about him, and Vowell's book was a wonderful history lesson. She seamlessly wove together facts about his life and facts about our country's fight for independence.

The thing I took away from this book is just how much our country has seemingly forgotten about Lafayette. I certainly never learned about him when I was in grade school, and when I asked my 13-year-old nephew if he knew who Lafayette was, he had no clue (had being the correct word, for I immediately educated the boy about Lafayette). This is heartbreaking, as he's one of the most interesting characters you could ever put in a history book. He came to our country to help us in the fight against Britain, does such a good job that George Washington considered him a dear friend, goes back to France, is jailed during the French Revolution for 5 years, then makes his way back to the USA where he is hailed as a hero decades after his war service.

Also, my 5-year-old daughter wants to grow up to play Lafayette on Broadway. I hope Lin-Manuel Miranda can start casting a reverse-gender Hamilton sometime soon.

2. 'Mansfield Park' by Jane Austen. OK, so this was the BBC audio adaptation from 2003, starring Felicity Jones, Benedict Cumberbatch, and a pre-Doctor Who David Tennant. Do full-cast audio productions count as reading a book? They do? Audiobooks as well? Oh bless you.

I absolutely LOVED this story. And it seems like Mansfield Park is considered one of the least popular of Austen's novels, which is a shame, as I really loved Fanny Price's character, and the obnoxious people she had to deal with (she gets blamed for Henry Crawford running off with someone else after pouring out his love for her, and Sir Thomas Bertram and Lady Bertram are unbearable throughout most of the book.

Despite the ridiculousness surrounding her, she stayed true to her principles.

3. 'How To Train Your Dragon' by Cressida Cowell. This was an audio book narrated by the amazing David Tennant, and I enjoyed it fair enough. Not one of my favorite books, but I certainly enjoyed myself throughout most of the story. The cast of characters were likeable enough, and the ending is something you don't see coming even though you do see it coming. I can see why the kids liked this movie enough for it to get made into a full-blown motion picture, something I have not seen yet. That probably made the book better.

4. 'Pride and Prejudice' by Jane Austen. I had actually signed up for an Audible account when we moved from Florida to Texas, and the plan was to listen to the entire 11 hour audio book during the 20-hour drive. I think I tweeted about it and everything.

However, the moving truck I was driving was so rickety and shot my nerves into a million pieces. I was unable to enjoy most of the radio, let alone a literary masterpiece. Seriously, the trailer broke off the truck.

So this happened today. Trailer broke off of the truck, smashed into side of highway. Nobody hurt. No cars hit. pic.twitter.com/ewUYhG65IE

Thankfully our car was already off the trailer. So the book had to wait. And over the course of last month, I finally delved into it.

To be honest, I really enjoyed it, but did a horrible job at retaining most of the little details (I also enjoyed Mansfield Park a lot more). What I can tell you though is that Lydia Bennett is of the most horrible characters I've ever read. The way she brags about her good fortune to her sisters is beyond reprehensible. But all the amazing things I've read about Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy are well-earned. Those characters are fascinating, and I hope to read this book someday again.

5.Final Fantasy V by Chris Kohler. Look at me reading 5 books when I only set a goal of 4! I don't want to say too much about this one, as I should have a book review up on Friday, but I will say that I really enjoyed it, and read it faster than I've read most other books.

So what books are next? I plan on reading Bruce Campbell's autobiography "If Chins could kill: Confessions of a B Movie Star" next, and my podcasting co-host James Ryan strongly recommends Ready Player One. And my Nook has a copy of Jane Austen's Emma that I'll probably finish by the end of the year.

What started as a begrudging goal for 2017 has turned into a full-blown obsession. I'll post thoughts on the second set of books soon.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Note: This is a series of posts based on some image floating around on Twitter. I felt I could talk more about my answers instead of just tweeting them. And since I missed yesterday, you get two topics today.

Day 7: Favorite video game couple. (SPOILERS)

This one's easy for me. It's Locke and Rachel from Final Fantasy VI, one of my five favorite RPGs, and one I plan to play through again next year.

It's a long story, but the gist of it is that Locke, one of the main characters in the game, had a girlfriend named Rachel before the Empire took rise. One day they were in a cave (Locke was a treasure hunter, so this sort of thing was natural to him) looking for treasure (her engagement ring), but before he could find the ring and propose, the bridge they were on collapsed. Rachel pushed Locke to safety, but she fell and went into a coma. After awaking, she did not have her memory and couldn't remember Locke, but only saw that Locke was someone who upset her family and told him to leave (her family blamed the accident on Locke and gave him the boot). A year later, she was killed during one of the Empire's raids, but regained her memory, with one of her final statements being, ""If a man called Locke should ever return, please tell him that I love him."

It's a painful backstory that adds a bit of depth to Locke's character, and one of the sidequests you can do in the game is try to revive her. When Locke revives her, she's only alive for a few moments, but tells him to forgive himself. It's a powerful moment in a game filled with powerful moments.

Day 8: Favorite video game soundtrack

This one is a tough question to answer, because there are pieces of great music from so many great games. So I'm going with the soundtrack that got me interested in soundtracks in general, and that's Lemmings for DOS (and other platforms too).

What fascinated me about Lemmings is that they took existing nursery rhyme music and really remixed the tunes into something wildly unique and different. And while I played this game the most on DOS, I'm really partial to the Genesis version of the songs.

Monday, December 12, 2016

Note: This is a series of posts based on some image floating around on Twitter. I felt I could talk more about my answers instead of just tweeting them.

Day 6: the most annoying video game character

I know most folks would say Navi, the fairy in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time that yells "Hey! Listen!" multiple times throughout your game. But Navi's just trying to be helpful. Anyone that earnestly wants to help me save the world is far from annoying.

One of the most annoying characters I've read about in a video game is Preston Garvey. He's the reason I haven't picked up Fallout 4, despite mods available that cut down on his annoying behavior. What does Preston do? He sends you on unlimited fetch quests, usually preceding his commands with "Another settlement needs our help!" It would seem that Preston's persistence cuts down on the ability to explore at your own leisure, something I loved about Fallout 3.