A Tale of Two Circuses

One circus warmed our imaginations, the other left us cold with disgust.

This essay appears in memory of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, as O.J. Simpson, on November 15, 2006, announces his forthcoming book: "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened."

December 16, 1993. "Ladies and gentlemen," a mellow voice announced over the public address system, "may we remind you that the use of any photographic or audio equipment is strictly prohibited. Please find your seats; the Big Apple Circus is about to begin." Colored lights had begun to sweep across the circular stage. My two kids, staring straight ahead, were already mesmerized. Why, I wondered, were the spectators in front of us craning their necks, looking in the wrong direction, our direction?

"Daddy," I heard one boy whisper, "do you think I could get his autograph?"

"Maybe during intermission."

I looked to my immediate right and there, as big as life, was an exceedingly handsome celebrity, O.J. Simpson. But what really took my breath away was the woman accompanying him, his wife, I presumed (after all, the two children sitting between them looked remarkably like each of their two chaperones). She was golden, radiant, dazzling and yet sedate.

As the circus got under way, my eyes occasionally flitted to the foursome on my right. So did my thoughts: Flawless beauty, untold wealth, multi-faceted talent, health, physical fitness, fame, family! Some people have all the luck.

Almost precisely six months later, she was found dead in what her neighbors described as a river of her own blood. And a circus began in Los Angeles that immediately eclipsed the one each of us had seen with our youngsters in New York.

Charged with -- and eventually cleared of -- her murder, he gained more fame than he had ever bargained for. She too became a household name. I learned that this presumably happily married couple at the circus had actually divorced in 1992. I learned that this woman on my right, who appeared the image of tranquility, had placed a frantic 911 call -- exclaiming that her ex-husband was going to attack her -- just seven weeks before the day we shared at the circus. I learned that her face which, having seen it up close, I could only describe as luminescent (none of those photographs did her justice), had been repeatedly pummeled over the years by this wealthy, handsome, talented celebrity.

I couldn't stop thinking about her. And I couldn't stop thinking about the barely concealed jealousy that I brought to our brief, silent encounter.

As I tried to come to terms with her double life, two remnants of my high school education frequently invaded my mind. The first was a maxim attributed in The Ethics of the Fathers: "Rabbi Meir says, Don't look at the vessel, but rather at what it holds inside" (Avot, 4:27).

The second was a poem penned by E. A. Robinson (and popularized for millions of us baby boomers by Simon and Garfunkel). Entitled Richard Cory, its last two stanzas read:

And he was rich -- yes, richer than a king --
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

True, Richard Cory was about a man; Nicole Brown Simpson was a woman. True, the poem was about a suicide; Nicole Brown Simpson was murdered. But the poem was also about perception and contrasting reality, jealousy and its resolution.

Certainly, my jealousy has been resolved. I even find myself wondering: Could it be that Nicole glanced to her left as often as I did to my right? Did my family's obviously non-privileged status, our equally obvious love for one another, and even our uproarious laughter evoke in her a twinge of envy?

Probably not, and that's okay. Circuses elicit illusion. But now that the circus we attended together -- and the courtroom circus all of us attended without her -- is long over, I am left with few illusions about the myth that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Every December for years thereafter, when the Big Apple Circus came to town, I'd do whatever it took to bring my kids to this joyful, magical place. And every December, as we took our seats, I'd look to my right and remember that golden woman, her shimmering beauty and her sweet-faced children. Then, the show would begin. My kids could not take their eyes off the stage. And I could barely take my eyes off them.

Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

Chava Willig Levy is a New York-based writer, editor, advocate and lecturer who zips around in a motorized wheelchair and communicates about the quality and meaning of life. She is available for speaking engagements and can be reached via her two websites: www.a-life-not-with-standing.com and www.chavawilliglevy.com. Her memoir, A Life Not with Standing, was published in 2013 and is an official selection of Jewish Disability Awareness Month (JDAM15). It is available at Amazon as a print book and as an e-book.

Visitor Comments: 30

Please, please request that Chava give us more, much more, of her writing and her heart. What an inspiration!

(29)
AriGoldman,
November 26, 2006 11:06 PM

Chavi reminds us of the emptiness of the celebrity culture and helps us appreciate what we have. if OJ was truly smart he would have glanced over at the Levy family and learned a few important lessons about life.

(28)
TEMIHOROWITZ,
November 26, 2006 10:01 PM

WONDERFUL, INSIGHTFUL ARTICLE.

I WAS OVERWHELMED BY THE AUTHORS INSIGHTFUL ANALOGY OF FIRST IMPRESSIONS NOT ALWAYS BEING RIGHT. AND HER SHAME LATER OF THE PETTY JEALOUSY, EVEN THOUGH FLEETING, THAT SHE HAD EXPERIENCED. IT IS A RARE PERSON WHO CAN SHOW US SO CLEARLY WHAT WE ALL AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER FEEL.

(27)
oralevy,
November 26, 2006 3:45 AM

chava willig levy has written a marvellous article - deep and thought-provoking! please bring us more of her unique writing!!!!

(26)
Anonymous,
November 23, 2006 1:24 PM

Speaks to the heart

Even here in Israel, where O.J. Simpson is not a household word, Chava Willig Levy's article has a lesson for all of us. We look forward to reading more of her articles.

(25)
Rivky,
November 22, 2006 12:05 PM

She did it again!

Chava Willig Levy is that rare writer with a gift for putting into beautiful prose original and thought provoking ideas. She speaks to our hearts, our minds and our souls. One comes away richer each time. Please keep featuring her writing. Set against blessed cancellation of Simpsons's book and tv show the timing of this article is especially awesome!

(24)
Anonymous,
November 22, 2006 6:00 AM

Is it necessary to post that photo on this site?

I consider this Aish site an oasis. How sickening to have to see that repulsive photo when I open up your Web page.

(23)
AbeSpeiser,
November 21, 2006 10:27 PM

Poignant article

Poignant article

(22)
M,
November 21, 2006 6:15 PM

Beautiful

This article is beautiful.Someimtes we think some ppl have all the luck, when we never know what is going on inside of them...

(21)
TzipiDiamond,
November 21, 2006 4:25 PM

I enjoyed this thought provoking article tremendously. Chavi Willig Levy has the gift of capturing moments and expressing emotions in a way that resonate with truth and wisdom.

(20)
S.Friedman,
November 21, 2006 9:52 AM

Well Done!

While the mere thought of more OJ in the press churns my stomach, I give cudos to Ms.Levy on her creative piece. I have read some of her other articles in the past and they are always thoughtful and well written.

(19)
leslie,
November 21, 2006 12:35 AM

There is hope...

With the cancellation of this despicable book, there is a glimmer of hope that as a society, America has not completely and utterly lost its moral compass. Many executives have a lot of soul searching to do... as do the thousands who actually bought an advance copy of the book.

(18)
Anonymous,
November 20, 2006 7:16 PM

the poignancy and accuracy of this essay took my breath away

chavi is on the mark again, expressing her thoughts and experiences in an eye-opening way, this time reminding us to not overlook the obvious and appreciate our blessings.

(17)
goldberg,
November 20, 2006 12:02 PM

the article was heartwarming as I like Chavi often imagine the grass as being always greener on the other side of the fence

i enjoyed Chavi's piece tremendously. I relate to her sentiments so much. I, too, often look at people and think oh what a wonderful life they are having...Thanks Chavi and I look forward to reading more articles from you.

(16)
SaulMashbaum,
November 20, 2006 6:52 AM

Misplaced envy

This article beautifully illustrates how far illusion can stray from reality; the woman who according to the writer's perception "had it all" had very little indeed.

Perceptions can be deceptions.

(15)
hopey5000,
November 20, 2006 5:45 AM

lawyer's role

This is a Jewish web site, and we can note there were two Jewish lawyers who helped a murderer go free. While they cloaked their comments in vague aphorisms about a lawyer's role, Simpson was more candid, here's how I killed them and got off.

What is different about Simpson's comments from the role of someone like Dershowitz of Claus Von Bulow fame. Our pain is not simply from the initial horrible act but of seeing someone go free and justice perverted, and of that many have participated. Simpson just displayed in starker form what was occurring many other times and will hopefull prompt some legal reform, allowing relevant evidence to be introduced for one thing.

(14)
Anonymous,
November 20, 2006 4:34 AM

Great, it shows you nothing is as it truly appears.

As someone who was living in LA at the time and made aliyah right after the trial was over, it was an incredible time of living through letting in what most of us in LA felt was a guilty person go free, and then one week later moving to Jerusalem where my family and I live to this day. What a horrible crime.

(13)
Anonymous,
November 19, 2006 11:53 PM

Well-written, very thought-provoking.

(12)
Anonymous,
November 19, 2006 11:04 PM

Well Said

I Agree with visitors comments 11/19/2006 8:09:00 AM.Thank YOU very much.I AM praying the same as well.

(11)
Anonymous,
November 19, 2006 9:05 PM

thoughtful

It is very interesting at this time that OJ is now showing how he would of killed his wife but still explains that he did not do it. Very thougful article that what glitters is not always gold.

(10)
LeonZacharowicz,
November 19, 2006 8:54 PM

Wow!

Wow! An amazing essay by an amazing person.

(9)
LorrieKazan,
November 19, 2006 8:50 PM

Both circuses display cruelty

Hi: Thanks for your words but also know that most circuses are infamous for cruelty to animals, something many people overlook.

(8)
SuriKrieger,
November 19, 2006 7:24 PM

Makes you think how the good, the bad, and the ugly are so intimately entwined.Thank you for reminding me of the victm, who is so overshadowed by the devilishly domineering celebrity that she hasbn't received her fair share of respect in the circus.

(7)
Anonymous,
November 19, 2006 6:08 PM

This was a great essay--both insightful and fascinating. I'm really glad that I read it and was able to share vicariously with the author's experience with the OJ Simpson family.

(6)
BeverlyKurtin,
November 19, 2006 4:33 PM

Disgusting

The long, slow "chase" along Los Angeles' freeways, O.J. in jail. The three-ring circus. The blatent advertisment of Sony on the back of the monitor on the Judge's bench. The verdict. All those scenes flash through my mind when I hear or read about the murder of two innocent people.

O.J.'s dream team of defenders. The idiotic attempt at putting on the glove that couldn't fit because it had been shunk by water...

Innocent? We have to leave this one to HaShem to sort out. We know the truth...or do we?

(5)
Pam,
November 19, 2006 1:22 PM

jealosy

Whenever I'm out for a run or a walk and I find myself in a beautiful neighborhood, with huge homes and well-groomed lawns, I always admire the houses, and think to myself, "but you don't know what problems exist within those walls." It helps me to appreciate the blessings I have in my life, and keeps me from wanting material goods that I may not be able to afford. I guess it's true for relationships as well - we just don't know what happens behind closed doors. There are women within secular and religious communities who are abused on a regular basis, women we might never suspect from outward appearances. It is so important for us not only to be aware, but to be able to help them when they're in need.

(4)
MonicaMyers,
November 19, 2006 12:10 PM

O.J. Simpson

The guy disgusts me, he is such an "in your face" egotistical, narcissist and, he just doesn't care about Anyone But,Himself...In my opinion, the jerk should be sitting on death row,instead- he is now going to get a little more "face time" & celebrity with, hisoutrageous "hypothetical tale" of how he'd have butchered the mother of his children...He Is Dirt-in my book!

(3)
eric,
November 19, 2006 12:00 PM

this is the system

i also watch the ojsimpson circus trial on tv and i saw the verdict.in fact whether we like it or not there was in my mind a reasonable doubt, i watched almost the whole trial everyday and i have a legal education, in fact i have even pleaded some jury cases.we may from the outside feels in our heart and mind that he was guldy, and i think he most likely was, butr i am not certain there is a doubt, a reasonable doubt.. and therefore i will wait until the doubt has gone, so far it it still there.One think that is consistant is that this guy never felt sorry for the murder of his wife such as most people would and for that he should be not received or apreciated by good people, the editor of his futur book is like other would profit from people misery and the psychological deficiency of a society that promote violence and crime. Just watch tv and the so called action movies ...if that could consolate anybody it is that everybody or most of us think that he killed her , but we may render the same verdict as the jury if we were the jury wich we were and are still not, and it is as well like this.G. knows best and this guy will have her just punishment when he will try to go to heaven and will be turned down and will have to go were those like him ended up.I salut the families who do not forget nor forgive, how can they, with this clown's attitudes and actions...?TRhe best thing to do is to denounce him and ignore him.Eric

(2)
Anonymous,
November 19, 2006 10:12 AM

The Last Word

Having reached superstar status and then becoming a fallen star, he is now trying to rise like the Phoenix from the ashes with the ultimate ego boost--how he got away with murder and had the last word. Cofessing his blind rage at his wife he killing her again in written form, and getting the last word. It's also the ultimate "I gotcha" to the criminal justice system. OJ is confessing without any fear of being retried.

It's sickening.

(1)
Anonymous,
November 19, 2006 8:09 AM

olam hasheker

I remember all too well the day when the Simpson acquittal came out: it was just before Yom Kippur and I was utterly sickened by its message. I consoled myself by remembering that this is the world of illusion, of lies, and in the next world truth will be all that exists. Still, it hurt, at so many levels. I was grateful that my children were too young to understand this, to know even that it was happening. It was enough for me to take it in... Then I learned of the new book coming out, and those sickened feelings returned. I was past outrage; just utterly shocked that he could write such a thing, that a whole enterprise of people could PUBLISH such a thing, that others would likely BUY such a thing. Outrageous! Olam hasheker, I thought. And this time my kids are old enough to understand, but, thank G-d, too busy in their own world to know about it. I have been spared having to discuss this, but it follows me anyhow. Reading re Nicole Brown Simpson's radiance, luminescence brings it home all the more. I thank you for your reflections, for marking this date in some way. I pray that her family and Ron Goldman's take some comfort in the knowledge that many of us, I hope MOST of us, are outraged and disgusted. I am grateful for my understanding of truth and falsehood, of Good and Evil, and pray that this should be clarified to us all, soon.

I live in rural Montana where the Cholov Yisrael milk is difficult to obtain and very expensive. So I drink regular milk. What is your view on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Jewish law requires that there be rabbinic supervision during the milking process to ensure that the milk comes from a kosher animal. In the United States, many people rely on the Department of Agriculture's regulations and controls as sufficiently stringent to fulfill the rabbinic requirement for supervision.

Most of the major Kashrut organizations in the United States rely on this as well. You will therefore find many kosher products in America certified with a 'D' next to the kosher symbol. Such products – unless otherwise specified on the label – are not Cholov Yisrael and are assumed kosher based on the DOA's guarantee.

There are many, however, do not rely on this, and will eat only dairy products that are designated as Cholov Yisrael (literally, "Jewish milk"). This is particularly true in large Jewish communities, where Cholov Yisrael is widely available.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote that under limited conditions, such as an institution which consumes a lot of milk and Cholov Yisrael is generally unavailable or especially expensive, American milk is acceptable, as the government supervision is adequate to prevent non-kosher ingredients from being added.

It should be added that the above only applies to milk itself, which is marketed as pure cow's milk. All other dairy products, such as cheeses and butter, may contain non-kosher ingredients and always require kosher certification. In addition, Rabbi Feinstein's ruling applies only in the United States, where government regulations are considered reliable. In other parts of the world, including Europe, Cholov Yisrael is a requirement.

There are additional esoteric reasons for being stringent regarding Cholov Yisrael, and because of this it is generally advisable to consume only Cholov Yisroel dairy foods.

In 1889, 800 Jews arrived in Buenos Aires, marking the birth of the modern Jewish community in Argentina. These immigrants were fleeing poverty and pogroms in Russia, and moved to Argentina because of its open door policy of immigration. By 1920, more than 150,000 Jews were living in Argentina. Juan Peron's rise to power in 1946 was an ominous sign, as he was a Nazi sympathizer with fascist leanings. Peron halted Jewish immigration to Argentina, introduced mandatory Catholic religious instruction in public schools, and allowed Argentina to become a haven for fleeing Nazis. (In 1960, Israeli agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from a Buenos Aires suburb.) Today, Argentina has the largest Jewish community in Latin America with 250,000, though terror attacks have prompted many young people to emigrate. In 1992, the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 32 people. In 1994, the Jewish community headquarters in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 85 people. The perpetrators have never been apprehended.

Be aware of what situations and behaviors give you pleasure. When you feel excessively sad and cannot change your attitude, make a conscious effort to take some action that might alleviate your sadness.

If you anticipate feeling sad, prepare a list of things that might make you feel better. It could be talking to a specific enthusiastic individual, running, taking a walk in a quiet area, looking at pictures of family, listening to music, or reading inspiring words.

While our attitude is a major factor in sadness, lack of positive external situations and events play an important role in how we feel.

[If a criminal has been executed by hanging] his body may not remain suspended overnight ... because it is an insult to God (Deuteronomy 21:23).

Rashi explains that since man was created in the image of God, anything that disparages man is disparaging God as well.

Chilul Hashem, bringing disgrace to the Divine Name, is one of the greatest sins in the Torah. The opposite of chilul Hashem is kiddush Hashem, sanctifying the Divine Name. While this topic has several dimensions to it, there is a living kiddush Hashem which occurs when a Jew behaves in a manner that merits the respect and admiration of other people, who thereby respect the Torah of Israel.

What is chilul Hashem? One Talmudic author stated, "It is when I buy meat from the butcher and delay paying him" (Yoma 86a). To cause someone to say that a Torah scholar is anything less than scrupulous in meeting his obligations is to cause people to lose respect for the Torah.

Suppose someone offers us a business deal of questionable legality. Is the personal gain worth the possible dishonor that we bring not only upon ourselves, but on our nation? If our personal reputation is ours to handle in whatever way we please, shouldn't we handle the reputation of our nation and the God we represent with maximum care?

Jews have given so much, even their lives, for kiddush Hashem. Can we not forego a few dollars to avoid chilul Hashem?

Today I shall...

be scrupulous in all my transactions and relationships to avoid the possibility of bringing dishonor to my God and people.

With stories and insights,
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