Squid Sperm – One More Reason to Not Eat It

Here at RocketNews24, one of our reporters’ duties is chronicling the intriguing or shocking culinary options we come across. Whether it’s giant cheeseburgers in Japan or gasoline-roasted clams in North Korea, we’re happy to taste test them for the entertainment and edification of you, our readers.

But not this time.

Squid has long been a mainstay of the Japanese diet, and is even experiencing something of a boom in recent years. More and more seafood restaurants are filling their tanks with the chewy little invertebrates, and they’re also a popular target for Japan’s many fishing enthusiasts.

The Japanese city of Hagi sits on the northern coast of Yamaguchi Prefecture. Hagi is a major tourist attraction for history buffs who come to see its preserved samurai quarter, and also for gourmands who come to sample the bounties of its ocean waters. Recently, the owner of the Hagi restaurant Umenoha gave us a shocking expose on the dangers of the male squid’s reproductive fluids.

When squid sperm gets into a person’s mouth, it tends to get all over the place, and causes a tingly sensation in the linings of the cheek and the tongue. Some people might assume this is because of some poisonous quality it contains, much like the ovaries of Japan’s deadly fugu blowfish.

▼ Dieters, keep this handy photo of squid sperm around to look at and kill cravings for any kind of food
Not so, explains Umenoha’s owner. Squid sperm contains no toxins at all. Instead, the sperm actively works its way into the flesh and muscles of the mouth and tongue. Like a parasitic bug, it starts trying to break down the structures from the inside.

Or, in the owner’s own words, “The squid sperm is eating you.”

In a metaphysical sense, this really isn’t so shocking. Imagine the life of a virile male squid. He’s hanging out on the ocean floor with his friends, hitting the gym to work on his tentacles by doing curls with a set of 10 dumbbells, mulling putting his ink to use as a tattoo artist after graduation. Then someone pulls him out of the sea, and eats not only his flesh, but his sperm, too? Who wouldn’t want a little revenge from beyond the grave?

Now before everyone cancels their airline reservations to Japan, remember that restaurants always remove the sperm sacs from male squid before preparing or serving them. There’s also no danger if the squid has been dead for some time, either because the sperm die off or because its spirit abandons it vengeful intent by attaining enlightenment and moving on to a higher plane.

The real threat here is to recreational fisherman. Each year a number of them land themselves in the hospital by catching a squid, slicing it into sashimi, and immediately eating it, sperm and all.

So remember readers, make sure there’s no sperm on your squid before you eat it. Honestly, we have to say that’s a smart idea regardless of what’s on your plate.