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I'm a nanny and yes, I am raising "your" children.

I've been a nanny for 20 years and yes, and as much as people don't want to believe it. We do raise your children. When I'm there from 7:30am-8 pm because you're on business trips or you have to work late. When I hear the first word or the first step. When I am the one helping with the homework. That's not the parent raising the child, that's the babysitter, nanny or child-care provider.

You need help raising your kids, and that's fine, but don't act like we're just the paid help. We definetely work to make sure your children are well cared while you work.

I fully agree. I never had a nanny but my son practically lived at daycare when it was just me and him and I was working more than one job. The ladies where wonderful and taught him so many things! When he started to sign to me, I had to have the daycare lady show me what all the signs ment because she was the one teaching him. She practically potty trained him, was there for his first steps, words, when he rolled over, EVERYTHING! When I was able to stay at home, she had to tell me what his day time schedule was. Nannies and daycare providers need more credit.

I think we can all agree that there are many instances when the nanny does end up raising the children, so to speak. But OP, what was your point in posting this? Because the people you are looking down your nose at are, after all, providing a job for you to go to every day and helping you make a living doing what you love (I assume you love interacting with kids, I could be wrong...). So why all the judgement?

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
on Jun. 16, 2012 at 1:32 PM

I haven't been with the family I was with in several years, but their youngest just graduated HS. He invited me to his graduation and party. My heart swelled at seeing all of his accomplishments. Their oldest(the one I was with from birth to age 16) is going pre-med. I am proud of to have been in their life. I had a hand in their accomplishments.

I'm with a family right now that has a 5 year old and a 10 month old who just took her first step. I may have to suggest a new nanny for them, because I feel like I am walking on eggshells.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm a nanny too, and I agree in a lot of ways. I'm the one who picks them up and drops them off at school, I'm the one making them lunch, shopping for their clothes, taking them to Karate, and I'm the one they WANT to be with. They prefer me over their own parents. Even their mom says they always want me to be the one who comes to their school functions and I'm the one they want to make cookies with and stuff.

by Anonymous 11
on Jun. 16, 2012 at 1:36 PM

1 mom liked this

In a way, yes, but I think the parent and nanny should have an agreement. If I even hire a nanny, I would have a list of things I don't want my child doing, and things I would like my child doing. I'm a stay at home mom, and would probably never hire a nanny, but I have a friend who was a live in nanny, and she over stepped her bounds a few times, like giving the child sweets when the parent said not to. If a parent asks you do not do something, you should not do it, even if you think you should. In the end it is not your child you are not raising the child, you are only watching the child, and raising them how the parent wants them to be raised. Its not exactly YOU raising the child. If you were raising the child, you would do it your own way without anyone telling you, or paying you to.

I'm a nanny but I only have the girls before and after schol and on breaks. They are MUCH better behaved now. They have stoped lying, rolling their eyes, shouting NO to everything. Their dad used to yell everything and now he barely has to raise his voice. They have really come around in the last year. I have become very attached to those little snot noses. :) and I can tell you what. They would be MUCH worse off without me. People need to give us more credit. The family totalt takes advantage of me and act like I should just be grateful they allow me to watch their children. *rolls eyes*. But whatever. They're cool for me now.

I think you should have bolded and underlined the word just. Like this...

don't act like we're just the paid help.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
on Jun. 16, 2012 at 1:40 PM

It's more like the mother is resenting me. I just had to get this off my chest.

I've been at this new position for a little under 10 months. I accepted the job of a 5 year old and at the time a 3 week old. I can not tell the mother any of the accomplishments(first step, first word, when she started to crawl) without her getting upset. I'm learning not to say anything, but my previous position, I was part of the family and we celebrated their children's accomplishments together. She's upset when oldest daughter wants me to tuck her in at night and read her a story.

Quoting StillDreaming07:

I think we can all agree that there are many instances when the nanny does end up raising the children, so to speak. But OP, what was your point in posting this? Because the people you are looking down your nose at are, after all, providing a job for you to go to every day and helping you make a living doing what you love (I assume you love interacting with kids, I could be wrong...). So why all the judgement?

Send me email updates about messages I've received on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.
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