Who gets night shift with baby?

Mayapisiw

Posted 05/25/2016

Okay so I've had night shift since day 1. We tried to breastfeed so it just made sense that I was getting up to feed baby during the night. Breastfeeding did not work out and I stopped about a month and a half ago. My partner works sporadically but we always know the day before if he has to work in the morning yet he still never gets up with the baby. AND! He sleeps in after we get up for the day.

He really has it all. Most times when he comes back from work he will head straight to play his video games and I'm here with baby all day. If I ask him to take the baby for a while so that I can do something (like catch up on housework or figure out our bills, or even watch a tv show by myself) he will take the baby into his computer room and make him sit there and watch him play his computer games. So I've stopped asking him to take the baby because he says "well he sits there fine" and doesn't see the problem with it. I don't think it's fair to baby, I hear him screaming for attention and I end up going to get him anyways. I feel like I might as well be a single mom.

Anyways back to the sleep thing! I was sick yesterday with some sort of stomach bug and my partner came home from work to "watch" the baby but instead he took him to the computer room again. But I was too sick to do anything this time (like literally stuck to the toilet and the bed). This is already pretty long so I'll cut it short, in the end I ended up getting up with baby during the night, I'm up with him this morning, still feeling a little woozy but far better then yesterday, and my partner is still asleep. What gives.

Comments (40)

I always have the night shift. The most I get is an hour or two extra on the weekends. When I brought up night shift to my SO (significant other) he says "but it's just so much easier if you do it because you're breastfeeding." I got irritated from that, sure its easier but I haven't caught up on sleep since.. Pregnancy. My SO (significant other) does the same thing with video games, but he says "I don't want to spoil him." Such bullshit.

Where your LO (little one) is bottle-fed though, I'd put up a stink. It's selfish that he didn't take over when you were sick, what if baby got sick? You needed rest too.

I'm a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) so I do everything at night. She sleeps on my side of the bed anyway. DH (dear husband) gets up with her on weekends so I can sleep in.

He used to play video games but that's when she slept a lot so he can't now. If I were you, I would unplug the computer/TV/whatever and say "spend time with your child". They know when they're being ignored at this point, my LO (little one) will cry for attention if me and DH (dear husband) get involved in a conversation.

I'm a sahm so o take the night shift, but dh (dear husband) works nights 7 days a week so he's not there anyways. I don't mind though. Lo only gets up once or twice, drinks a bottle and falls right back to sleep.

Your SO (significant other) needs to actually interact with the baby. Video games are not more important than spending quality time with the lo. It shouldn't be anyways. You need to have a serious talk with him about this.

I have night shifts. We both work 40+ hours a week and both split all the chores. After we are home we switch off who is taking care of LO (little one) and her needs. On weekends I get a day to do what I need to and he gets a day to do what he needs to. If one of us needs a full weekend then the next weekend the other one gets it. But all in all, it is a team effort. I only do night shifts because I would be up regardless unless she was sleeping. But you made a baby together so you should take care of the baby together.

P.S. Playing video games is not taking care of the baby. You should talk to him about this and tell him there is a time for this but it isn't while taking care of LO.

I too have night shift since I'm a SAHM, but I'm ok with it because when my husband gets home, he has the baby. He also gets baby duty on Sunday mornings. He has started to wear LO (little one) and go for a walk or run errands with baby. I use this time to hit the gym, housework or run errands alone. Would wearing your LO (little one) be an option for dad?

I'm a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) + I'm nursing so I always take the night shift. Even though DH (dear husband) is off on weekends, I still don't wake him up for help at night because he works early the other 5 days a week and I know he needs to catch up on sleep. He does take LO (little one) out of the bedroom to play on Saturday and Sunday morning so I can sleep for another hour or two. I would honestly only have an issue with your hubby ignoring LO (little one) to play video games, and his lack of help during the day/days off. However, I don't expect hubby to help too much mon-fri after work. I only ask him to hold LO (little one) so I can shower, finish dinner etc. On his days off (weekends) he's super helpful with LO (little one) and I think it's because he misses him during the week.

im lucky. im breastfeeding as well but when my LO (little one) wakes up my husband gets him up and changes his diaper, then ill feed him and put him back to bed. we both work full time and it help both of us in the long run

I'm a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) so I do the night shift but also because I was EBF (extended breastfeeding, exclusively breastfeeding) (now it's a mixture of BF (breastfeed, or boyfriend) and FF). When DF (dear fiancee) is home from work he will take baby so I can make dinner but also have a bath so I get a bit of time to relax. On the weekends he will take DD (dear daughter) if I am tired in the morning if I am tired or I will get up with her but this was easy for a while as she was sleeping through from 10.30-6.30/7 and sometimes later. Now she's waking quite a lot in the night. DF (dear fiancee) has been off work for a month as had a minor op but could not sit so I did all baby caring but in the last week he's been fine just has to have dressing changed everyday so Dr won't let him go back to work yet. I was gettin a bit frustrated that I was getting up every time she woke when he wasn't working but he started waking and even taking her in the night to the living room when she wont slept so I can.

I would sit down and speak to him about it and make your feelings really clear. I had to do it a few times with DF (dear fiancee) before it changed. I think sometimes they think if we don't say anything again then we have forgotten about it or not bothered anymore.

I do night shift by choice. I bf and this lo falls asleep right after nursing so it would actually be way more work for my husband to go make a bottle and it'd wake me anyways.

However, if I was feeling I needed a break, I would gladly sleep elsewhere and let daddy take over. Why can't your so take lo out for a walk or to the store or something while you have some time alone?? My husband will do that for me with our 5yo 4yo, and 5 month old.

I would sit down and explain how much you could use a break. He should be doing this for you ESPECIALLY when you're sick. Hope you are doing better.

I'm a SAHM so I do everything at night. She sleeps on my side of the be...

Posted
05/25/2016

I'm a SAHM gets up with her on weekends so I can sleep in.

He used to play video games but that's when she slept a lot so he can't now. If I were you, I would unplug the computer/TV/whatever and say "spend time with your child". They know when they're being ignored at this point, my LO get involved in a conversation.

What size bed do you 3 sleep in? Or is baby's crib next to your side of the bed? We have had a queen sized bed since before this baby was born. However, my husband has been sleeping on a small couch in our bedroom since baby was born. He wants to upgrade to a king so that we can all 3 comfortably sleep in. That, or transition the baby into her crib. He refuses to sleep in bed with us because he is afraid there won't be much room or he'll roll over and hit me with an arm since he moves a lot in his sleep.

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