One of the challenges of being a first
time mother to a four month old is to get out and about and forge new
relationships with other local new mums.

I live in a booming family orientated
suburb which is seriously at times pram central. Now when I say pram
central I truly mean it. My inner petrol head has on many occasions
zoomed in and out of pram traffic so well it would make Michael
Schumacher shiver in his Ferrari. Or should that be Mercedes now?
Benetton? No, that was so 1991...

Anyway, if he is ever on my side of
town he may as well just pack on up and go home. Nobody beats my
Mountain Buggy.

It started several months ago with
facilitated mothers group sessions. Or should I say 'first time
parents group' because Dad's stay at home too! Yes, that's much more
inclusive.

The nature of these sessions is
probably another blog for another day. They were interesting to say
the least but on a positive note, it has allowed me to make one very
good new friend.

With the formal sessions now completed,
our group of new parents now meet once or twice weekly at the local
library for a play group session titled 'Baby Time'.

My dear husband
has referred to it as a cult..which is perhaps a little harsh. Cults
can be misunderstood after all.

Due to popularity, these Baby Time
sessions aren't advertised, so perhaps 'Secret Society' is more
appropriate.

I'll cut to the chase. Our Secret
Society is a 25 minute song and rhyme session hosted by an eccentric
orange haired women (our leader), with musical instruments hanging
off her wrists, arms, legs, nose – oh sorry that would be a
piercing. Plus there's a talking frog.

Hang on, let me repeat that. There's a talking frog. *gasp*

Mothers (Secret Society members) from
around our over-bred suburb gather and literally overtake what was a
peaceful sanctuary for the local book worm or VCE student cramming
for mid year exams. Sorry about that.

The format is simple – pop your baby
on the floor (own blanket and burp cloth essential), follow the
leaders guide, throw baby up in the air when prompted (don't forget
to catch them), clean the projectile vomit off wherever it should
land (whoops, sorry, they weren't new shoes were they?), laugh,
sing, tickle and sarcastically ask dear friend "is this sh*t over yet?" through smiling gritted teeth.

Then manage the overtired cries upon
conclusion and rock the little master off to sleep to the sounds of
the talking frog muttering in the background.

On the upside, the kids love it. Vomit
and all. It's great for their development and a fun way for them to
begin socialising with others. And what better way to introduce
yourself to a potential new friend with this opening line – "Oh hi there, I'm AP.
Let me clean that spew off your back. Come here often?"

Plus we all want to be members
of a Secret Society, don't we? Especially one with a talking frog.