There’s a reason West Virginia is often mocked as America’s Leading Goober State. And that reason is people like 19-year-old Mark Thompson. At 3 a.m. Monday, a neighbor called 911 to say Thompson had stolen her goat, which was recently purchased for her young grandson…

The woman’s nephew had received a call that the goat was wandering around at Thompson’s house, and that he better retrieve it.

So the woman, her nephew and another woman went to Thompson’s house. That’s where they found the weirdo in his bedroom with his pants down and wearing women’s underwear and a bra. There was blood all over the room and the goat was dead from being stabbed in the neck.

A porn magazine was found nearby, suggesting that Brave Young Mr. Thompson may well be a bestial perv.