CBeebies’ satire once again deemed too controversial

by philapilus

Obviously completely inappropriate for kids

The CBeebies channel, home of vitriolic lampoonery, has again got into hot water over its In Yer Face content. The station broadcast a programme yesterday morning which ventured where no other satirical vehicle has yet dared to go.

In a specially commissioned episode of controversial show, the Tweenies, the character Max dressed up as Jimmy Savile, complete with godawful hairstyle, shell-suit and phallic, oversized cigar. He proceeded to feel up Milo and Fizz, then trapped Bella in a cupboard and made her fellate him, whilst he throttled Jake.

Max then assaulted the dogs Doodles and Izzles, before turning to the screen and rubbing his erect foam member until ejaculating straight into the camera, whilst shouting “Now then, now then, boys and girls; don’t tell anyone, or I’ll really fix it for you!”

Minister for Outrage, suspended tory MP Nadine Dorries, said “It is this sort of programme that is perverting our young and turning them into homos and single parents. Children’s programming used to be clean, with none of this innuendo. Now it is all about violent transgressive sex. I am furious.

“FURIOUS!” she repeated, before biting the head off a baby deer and spitting masticated, still-warm flesh at reporters.

Pip Pipeline, a plumber from Plumstead, said “I put the show on for my kids, expecting nothing more than adults in sweaty, foam and latex suits acting out infantilized scenarios, whilst continually touching one another. Imagine my shock when the content turned out to be sexual!”

But veteran satirist, Chris Morris, came out in defence of the BBC’s decision to broadcast the show, saying “This was a profoundly significant work, which blew the gaffe on the culture of silence that satirists have self-imposed in the wake of the Savilegate revelations.

“The now-disgraced celebrity fuckwit – who spent his life impersonating a paedophile so that no-one would realise he actually was one – should be as vilified by humourists as any other evil public figure, like Piers Morgan or Barbara Windsor.”

To the question of whether a children’s channel was the correct format for the sketch, Morris replied “Oh for fuck’s sake. Anyone who has seen any of the programmes on this channel knows it is not for children. It is obvious that CBeebies is devoted entirely to the caustic lampooning of utterly reprehensible shits. Look at Justin Fletcher, for god’s sake! No one with two brain cells could fail to realise that his embodiment of all that is appalling is a biting commentary on society at large.

“Just like the Frog Song. Did you think that was meant to be fun?! Well I didn’t see any children enjoying it, did you?”