Hi-I am sorry to hear you are feeling so down. BFNs are really hard, I think most especially (at least for me) when you get them after a treatment cycle, since you have so much hope pinned on it. You ask a good question, how do you go on¡Kit¡¦s hard, but I think setting a timeline, schedule (e.g. we¡¦ll do it 3 times), and budget is really helpful like the others have said. I this advice a year ago on this board, and took it to heart and it really helps. So this is what we have done¡Kbased on these three factors, we have 2 more tries to go before I turn 40 in 4 months, and that¡¦s it (at least I think it is!). But, since setting our ¡§schedule¡¨, it keeps me focused on what we are trying to do and ready to move on to the next cycle after BFN. I really think it helps to have a plan, and also a plan for what you will do if it doesn¡¦t work. DE is not an option for us, and adoption really isn¡¦t either¡Kone thing I didn¡¦t know about until I joined this board was donor embryo, which is what I think our next step will be if IVF doesn¡¦t work. This is another beautiful option for some people, and it seemed to make the most sense for us. We are not there yet but on the donor embryo waiting list.

I too have done the natural route, I was not ready to do IVF or IUI until I really understood what was going on with my body, then I jumped on board immediately! I can¡¦t say the natural treatments worked that much for me (no BFP yet), but I guess they did have a postivie results of sorts¡KI did (and still do) acupuncture and herbs, it seemed to bring my FSH down to borderline / normal levels (on the high end of normal), and it totally regulates my cycle. I take wheat grass/greens, melatonin, ubiquinol, and mitochondrial enhancers¡K(I just started taking the mitochondrial enhancers so we¡¦ll see if it helps).

For me, the toughest thing is knowing if what I doing is the ¡§right¡¨ thing. It really sucks that we have to be guinea pigs with our bodies, time, and finances to try and get it right. It¡¦s not fair at all, and for me that is probably the hardest thing to get over (even more than the BFNs) because in the back of my mind I am always thinking ¡§What if it¡¦s the wrong protocol?¡¨ or ¡§what if my supplements are causing XYZ problem?¡¨ and for some of us we may never have an answer. I have now seen 4 different REs and 2 OBGYNs, and each one thinks differently; some think WAY differently, some are closer in others to thinking than the others¡Kfor example, I don¡¦t know why your RE doesn¡¦t take your FSH, but in my experience not all do. Based on my experience at Cooper, where they seem to take the most b/w of any clinic I have seen, it seems like you should get your FSH checked. But, most places don¡¦t tailor your meds to your FSH level, so that is probably why he doesn¡¦t take it. So, again that is a hard thing to deal with because not even the doctors are in agreement.

I know you are struggling with the high-stim/low-stim approach, it¡¦s a hard decision to make. Maybe if you put together ¡§your plan¡¨, it will become clearer to you which route to go (e.g. if you think you can only do it two more times, then you know you can try each option at least once). I know that is helping me in make my decision¡K

Take care of yourself today and this weekend! I hope you are feeling better soon!

Nancy

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