Concerns About Gagne

Insider Insight is a new feature on Crowned Royal that will highlightshowcaseexhibit OK mock the most brilliant hockey minds Southern California has to offer: the commenters on LA Kings Insider, Rich Hammond’s blog.

Not sure if this individual is just trying to be funny or is the little demon sitting on top of Brian Burke’s left shoulder.

Kings sign Simon Gagne to two-year deal

I hate to be a naysayer — and I know I’m harping on my favorite and oft-recited theme — but even assuming Gagne’s healthy, we need meat in front. Big, oppressive, obnoxious slabs of meat.

SIZE, amigos. SIZE.

Gagne isn’t a mouse. But as gritty and tough as he is, and while he’s reported — optimistically — as 6’1″, his physical dimensions are not part of his game.

Where’s the beef gonna come from?

When we enter the attacking zone, I want opposing players to see nothing but monuments to hugeness. I want urine dribbling down their legs as they say to themselves, “Cripes! These guys are friggin’ monsters!”

And I want them muttering that to themselves line after line after line. I want them to doubt their masculinity. I don’t want mere victory. I want Japanese humiliation.

Can anyone fill me in on what Japanese humiliation is? On second thought, never mind.

Dunno what this guy is looking for that isn’t already there. Penner 6’4″ and thick, although his size is better suited to playing thru hits than delivering them, but still he is no small man. Kopi 6’3″, strong and fast, too, uses physicality as just one of his many excellent defensive tools. Dustin Brown, ummm, perennial league top three in hitting… seems okay. Mike Richards, probably among the hardest hitting 5’11” players, is known for his punishing physicality. If you don’t want a one-dimensional team loaded up with lugs that can hit whatever they can catch and don’t do much else, the Kings have a pretty good balance. Clifford adds hitting, too, and as his positional confidence builds I expect he will realize he can commit more to making a big hit without sacrificing a positional responsibility.

As well, Murray stresses positional defense, so a big hit is taken when presented, but the team does not want guys running out of position to deliver the potential big hit: the emphasis is on prolonged containment as opposed to horror-show collisions.

Finally, this is the new NHL, and the good teams play a speed and puck control game, using size as one way to establish one part of the overall game. Adding size for size’ sake would likely detract from other critical areas. And, please tell me what NHL player of any skill level is gonna tremble at the mere sight of another player?