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If you meet someone and they are a potential partner how do you navigate whether they are real? Do you relax after the amount of years you were married or is it that you accept that there are I guarantees and you are willing to get hurt for the sake of the risk?

How does one ever really know if our spouses did this after so many years? I miss the true naive nature of being in a relationship.

Posts: 1345 | Registered: Jul 2012

inconnu♀ 24518Member # 24518

Posted: 3:09 PM, June 30th (Sunday), 2013

You do have to accept that there's a risk you could get hurt, in any relationship. But the more healed you are emotionally, the better the chance you have of attracting someone who is as real as they appear to be.

Aside from that, there's google, and background checks.

Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect

Posts: 12278 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX

InnerLight♀ 19946Member # 19946

Posted: 3:12 PM, June 30th (Sunday), 2013

Keep your focus on taking excellent care of yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally, socially. An SO is icing on the cake, not the cake.

That gives you the best chance of pacing yourself slowly as you get to know them with your ears and eyes open.

If your SO implodes down the line you will have the most strength possible to deal w it because of all the great self care and personal development.

BS, 54 years
D-day 6-2-08
D after 20 years
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

Posts: 6275 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California

missherlots♂ 30591Member # 30591

Posted: 7:02 PM, June 30th (Sunday), 2013

FP, No one has the ability to hurt you unless you allow it. Whatever you Ex did is for him to know inside. He might not even know, but one thing I can tell you and it is that he was broken not you.
Life has not guarantees neither the future, So don't focus on the future and LIVE the know. You are in a relationship with yourself and everything around you. find happiness inside you by exploring the inner parts of your being. within time you will be happier than ever because you find it inside and NO one can take it away from you.
Learn about detachment to realized by you are missing something that you always have had.
My 2 cents.

Pain and suffering is part of life, but I choose to feel love and compassion for all people excluding no one.