Let’s be selfish sometimes, OK?

After Sasha was born, so almost 4 years ago, I had a lot of people tell me that I should just get used to never sleeping again. Even though these words came from multiple people’s mouths, I had my doubts. Seriously…never sleep again? What about that sleep training stuff? Kids do sleep through the night, right? Sure they do!…if you’re one of the lucky ones.

I don’t want to go much deeper into the topic and analyze what works and what doesn’t, or better yet, what you should be doing to get your kid to sleep through the night. Those types of discussions just don’t seem fair to me. Advice is great! However, saying that one method, and one method only, is the way to do it just causes frustration for the other 90% of the people that it really isn’t working for. We are all different, so dig deep and tune into your spidey senses (such a thing exists) so that you can do what works for you and your kids. That’s about my only advice.

As a baby, Sasha was a pretty good sleeper. I didn’t know it at the time, but seriously, he was AMAZING. To this day, Sasha sleeps so deeply that I can move him from his bed to the car, run an errand, come home to put him back in his bed and he will still snore like a bear. Can someone please give me a dose of whatever he’s having! However, there were/are times when Sasha was/is impossible to get to sleep. The kids is extremely “spirited” and strong willed. Please, do amazing things with that, buddy.

I don’t know what I was expecting with Liev. Maybe something similar, but the kid is 99.9% different from Sasha. We were up a lot, me especially. It got to the point that I just let him sleep next to me and nurse because that is the only way that any of us could get sleep. Then winter came. Ear infections, allergies, teething, and never ending projectile vomit. All winter long. He is such a light sleeper but quickly falls asleep and hardly gives us a fight. This is in part thanks to my lady friends because he LOVES them – Milk-aholic. No binky. No bottle. (Not even real food until recently.) The kid could seriously nurse all day and all night.

And here is where Sasha and Liev are 0.1% alike…

When Sasha was only waking up once a night, I tried refusing to give him what he wanted. This is very unlike me because I just can’t do the crying business. It’s just not my parenting style. So for an hour I basically had to shove my head under a pillow and manipulate myself into believing that he wasn’t really upset. Every so often I would walk in his room and pat his back or give him the binky but that was all. He finally fell asleep after an hour of sad sad crying and that was that. Sasha after that slept through the night. What?

I’m happy to say (KNOCK ON WOOD), that this same method worked for Liev, who has only been waking up once a night for the past few months. Two nights ago when he woke up to “eat”, I didn’t go in there like usual. Denys did, but Liev of course wasn’t happy about that. Man boobs just won’t cut it. 🙂 It took an hour of sad sad crying, just like with Sasha, and then he was sound asleep again. I seriously hated that hour for a number of reasons, but guess what, it worked. What? Liev the next night slept ALLLLLL night long. I’m in shock. Please, keep it up, buddy. I believe in you!

Part of me wishes that I didn’t have to give up the nightly nursing sessions and the cuddles that come with it. Yet, a bigger part of me longs for normal bras, longer stretches of sleep, vacations with my husband, no more clogged ducts or leaking sticky milk soaking my clothes. I long for my me time and that’s OK. I say this for myself because I tend to tell myself that “this wont last forever” and “you’re giving your kids the best thing for them“, however, I forget about myself. And then they actually don’t get the best, just the shriveled up crumbs of energy that I have. We all deserve to be selfish now and again. It’s necessary for our mental health – at least mine – and my whole heart is telling me that it’s time. You deserve to be selfish right now, Sarah.

Who else deserves to be selfish right now? I wish you the best of luck and say, DO IT.

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4 thoughts on “Let’s be selfish sometimes, OK?”

My first was a pretty darn good sleeper pretty early on. I, too, expected the same from my second, only to discover I’d be getting a lot less sleep this time around.

At one year, after becoming increasingly cranky and sleep deprived, I decided night visits were over. The first few nights involved a lot of howling, but then? Then there was sleep, blessed sleep, and everyone was happier!

. I have never been selfish and because of it, I still deal with a really bad sleeper.augh Some days it’s worse than other days. But she’s always been just how you described your second little one. Maybe someday we’ll get over it. Thanks for the advice 🙂

It’s a hard thing to do, I understand. If it wouldn’t have worked after the first night, I’m not sure if I could have kept it up. Eventually your little girl will sleep well! Meanwhile, I hope you find other ways to treat yourself to some “me time”.