My husband and I stepped up and said that his dad can live with us vs being put in to assisted living, he has alzheimers and prostrate cancer. This has been a hard adjustment for all of us, now due to him moving in I gave up my job and having a hard time making ends meet even with the 600.00 a month he pays for living with us, He needs constant supervision, we drive to all appointments he has, not to mention doubling of our utillitys and food. Now I take him to buy things that he doesn't need because he think's he needs them. I am at a loss.

5 Comments

He's your husband's and you have been doing all the work. So, I think it is only fair if he has to research and find a place for his dad to go to. I'm glad he told you as you said on another thread that he did not want to loose his wife and children because of having his dad at home and when it gets too much to let him know.

Good plan! Medicare does not cover long term placement, but Medicaid does. They will require that most of his $1180 goes to the NH, leaving him a small allowance for personal needs. If he has assets such a life insurance, stocks, bonds, etc. he will need to "spend down" to an allowed level to qualify. Get the application process started immediately.

Not all long term care places accept Medicaid, so that is one of the first questions you should ask as you are exploring. No point in taking the time to visit a place if he couldn't use it anyway.

Thanks to all who have given me there input I appreciate it, I have started to look into getting him into assisted living, He only gets 1,180.00 a month and that doesn't cover half the cost, I am going to look into medicaid or medicare to see if they can help. Thanks again and good luck to all of you.

It sounds from this and your post on another thread that it is time to tell your husband that you can't take it anymore and for him to look into placing your FIL in assisted living or a nursing home. His alzheimers is only going to get worse.

SStirling,Is it too late to change your mind? If $600 a month is all he has, that is all you will ever get, right? Find out if he qualifies for Medicare and/or Military benefits. Realistically, it is going to get worse, he is not going to make the choices you are, so find a good memory unit where they will bring in hospice for the Prostate cancer ( however that works) and visit him every week. Get your job back. discuss this with your husband immediately and make a DECISION. He will get better care and you can supervise the staff--which you really need to do well. You will still be a caregiver, seeing to your FIL's medical needs and well-being, and you will retain your well-being. Trust me. All the best to you three. Hugs

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