I got the alert but its all good. This is going to be funny - it already is! i love the voice you've given Hannie, and the detail of the art shop was good. Would love to see some more character development with Josey too :) (i know its only the second chapter, just puttin it out there - i love supporting characters :) )

This is a really good start. I can tell just from the first chapter that you're a good writer. You're witty and amusing, not immature and in your face like half o the stories on fiction press these days.

'Girls, boys, those in-betweens where you just can't tell,' that made me laugh :p

Oh, and the telephone game that you're talking about, i know which game you mean but i always knew it as Chinese Whispers.