Oklahoma State Senator Ralph Shortey has gone on record to say that baby eating is wrong. Last week he introduced a bill in his state that would ban “the manufacture or sale of food or products which use aborted human fetuses.” They have those? No. No they don’t. But it’s good to know that someone is standing vigilant in the case that food manufacturers do decide to start making taste treats from aborted human fetuses. Thanks, bro.

Here are a few film characters who should never set foot in Oklahoma. Check out these baby eaters. In the meantime, I’ll have a salad.

Vampire – Stake Land

In Stake Land, the United States is decimated when a plague of vampirism sweeps through, turning the population into either bloodthirsty monsters or food. The film was well received by horror fans for it’s willingness to go there. “There” in this case being a scene where a vampire feeds on a still crying baby. Other films and television shows in the genre would have you believe that babies are a delicacy for the undead. I’m not sure he reasoning behind this, but I am a big fan of mini-bagels. I guess it’s the same logic.

Fat Bastard – Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

You surely have friends that will still yell “I ate a baby!!!” in Fat Bastard’s Scottish brogue. Get better friends. Moving on.