Laremy Tunsil’s Hackers Revealed

Every year a player drops during the first round. Maybe it’s because of injury concerns. Maybe it’s for character concerns. Hell, maybe it’s for drug concerns. Maybe sometimes a player just isn’t getting picked because teams are stupid. But on Thursday night we had quite possibly the weirdest thing happen that I have ever seen during a draft. 10 minutes before the draft officially began, Tunsil’s twitter account posted a video of him taking a hit of a rather creative bong. It was a gas mask bong. At the end he takes the mask off and reveals himself. That became the talk of the draft immediately, and the top rated lineman in the draft and one point obvious top overall pick began a free fall. The Ravens took Ronnie Stanley as the first lineman off the board. The Titans traded up, then picked Jack Conklin. Tunsil made it all the way to the Dolphins at 13, a fitting number for quite possibly the most unlucky player this draft. THEN IT GOT WORSE. As Tunsil approached the podium, his instagram started posting records of text messages between him and his coach at Ole Miss asking for rent money for his mother (which is an NCAA penalty, because the NCAA is a heartless demon).

Obviously Tunsil was hacked by someone trying to ruin his reputation. He also needs better passwords. The two hacks are obviously related but it’s weird, because they feel like they serve different purposes. The person can’t be out for money, because why would you make Tunsil fall? He’s now getting significantly less money. The Instagram hack seems like it will do far more damage to Ole Miss than it will to Tunsil, who is no longer affected by NCAA rules. It’s just so weird. What the hell happened to this poor kid? A scorned girl? His angry step-dad (Who denies involvement)?

An NFL team trying to make him drop?

Obviously this is a joke and not some conspiracy. I got the idea from the old unsubstantiated Dan Marino rumors. Some say the Dolphins put out a story about Dan Marino before the draft about a drug problem to cause Marino to fall. It’s probably just a story, but it remains one of the great football urban legends that is still referenced to this day.

For Laremy Tunsil, I feel bad that what should have been one of the best days of his life became a depressing clown show and now he has to worry about investigations and litigation and questions about his character because he smoked a little weed. This also reeks of one of those…growing disaster stories. You know, the one that starts off silly, then gets worse the more info comes out. I have a feeling Tunsil is going to get picked apart in the coming weeks once we find out why he was hacked and who had it out for him.

Also, as a side note to the NCAA. Pay your goddamn players you thieves. Players shouldn’t have to ask for under the table money to help their mothers have a place to live and to eat. You make untold millions off of these people, give them something besides a joke “chance at an education”.

Discussion (34) ¬

I’ve been pretty critical of Goodell, and he deserves it, but man. The NCAA is even worse, and has been for my lifetime. There was a point where protecting the amateurism mattered. That point vanished in the late 1960s when the NFL took over as the better spectator sport, and was entirely outdated by the mid 1970s. I would rather see coaches paid less, and players paid. Especially considering how many of them are coming from extremely poor homes– places where their peers are working jobs to take care of their family. But these guys can’t. They get in trouble, because they want to take care of their family. They get in trouble because their families want taken care of, and because some of those folks just see the $$$s and want to ride a gravy train they may (or, sadly, often may not) have helped in some way.

These are kids, and they are used up and tossed out. They are misled, they are broken, they are defrauded. I hate the NCAA with a passion uneclipsed by aught else that’s essentially purely American. There are plenty of foreign things– the diamond industry, the chocolate industry, so, so, so, so many mining industries. But for the US? For me, the worst of the bunch is the NCAA.

Don’t get me wrong– I don’t have a problem with collegiate athletics, but the way its done in the NCAA is so fundamentally wrong on essentially every level that it doesn’t just need reworked, it needs a complete and utter overhaul.

There was an ESPN article with Chris Borland the retired player from the 49ers. He recounted several incidents where doctors at his school gave athletes pills, and injected them with pain killers every week. It’s apalling. They basically dope up all these kids and throw them out there every week to play for our amusement free.

If the NCAA were to stipulate that each player on the team receives an annual stipend of $10,000, that would amount to exactly 1/2 of what the NCAA colleges are currently paying their coaches. Institute a policy that effectively swaps 1/2 coach pay to students, and no harm done to the schools, and the players get 10 grand a year, plus tuition, plus housing, plus books, plus cafeteria food. That’s a pretty hefty compensation package, and one that lets kids kinda be kids. 10 grand ain’t everything everywhere, but it’s a good chunk, and it’d be enough for the kids to at least help out home (if that’s what they want), or feel like they’ve earned something.

You’re basically honoring Urban Meyer, because he is responsible for recruiting, so it’s his achievement when so many players become pros…
If those players become pro bowlers or even hall of famers, nobody will care if they won the b1g east.
and btw ohio state won national championship the year before, so you can’t blame them for being “bad”

you want a better conspiracy draft? Why would Dallas, a team getting plowed by injuries, waste a second round pick on a player that is just coming off a college injury? Unless perhaps that player was evaluated by a doctor that happened to also work for the Cowboys and might have exaggerated his injury in order to cause Smith to drop down a round so that Dallas could get Elliot and grab Smith. Watch as Smith makes a miraculous recovery a we’re forced to wonder “was he really that injured?”

Dave, the fact that players get that much paid in scholarships is payment enough, they’re SUPPOSED to be at school to learn, in fact, most of the players wouldn’t be there if they were not good athletes. The players primarily should be helping themselves, which is why they get into trouble. I also think that a requirement for the draft should be having to finish college, so that people like Sammy Watkins who are proud that they didn’t pay attention in school are no longer allowed in.

Let’s be honest: the players are discouraged, left and right, from being scholars. If you aren’t flat-out brilliant, the amount of time you need to spend in class, researching, writing papers, studying, etc… would be detrimental to getting every last ounce of the kids from football. I’d be more fine with the hypocrisy if the scholarships lasted beyond the playing terms of these student athletes, but as soon as they’re done? The NCAA has no use for them, and out the door they go, degree or no degree. Get injured and can’t play– or simply realize that you cannot both play *AND* be a scholar? Sorry, out the door you go (or out the door your academics go). What the spirit of whatever the NCAA once was is long gone, and now it’s all about the $$$. They aren’t there to be scholars– they are there to play football. It is the reason *for* their scholarships. But nothing from the recruitment, to even NCAA policies encourages intellectualism.

These kids are doing more than a full time job for less than full time compensation in many cases. They are *CERTAINLY* not being compensated in proportion to the contributions they make to the school.

This is the problem. What the NCAA offers “in theory” is okay, and for smaller schools with lesser sports programs it seems to work, but playing a major sport at a major sports school is basically the equivalent of a job. Not even a part time job, but a full job. Football players spend about as much time playing/prepping/learning football at college as they do in the NFL, which is an actual job. They don’t have time to sit back and learn, they are stuck in joke classes meant to keep their averages up so they can keep playing football, and keep earning the school money.

But if they want to genuinely learn, or just put food in their fridge, they have to run themselves ragged with studies and a part time job on top of a full time job and schoolwork. Only the smartest kids can manage to pull this off, people like Richard Sherman (Who has gone on record BLASTING the NCAA).

The NCAA gives gifted athletes scholarships and a promise, but all they really want is these players playing football and bringing in millions. They aren’t there because they are SUPPOSED to learn, they are there for the revenue it gets the people up top. They deserve a little bit of that money. Even if it’s just a percentage of their own jersey sales, so they can put food on their own tables. They shouldn’t face huge penalties to their chances because their coach offered to buy them lunch. It’s fucked up.

I do agree with one thing: Make kids finish their degrees. Give them that post-football safety net.

“Make kids finish their degree.” Eeeeeehhhh. It’s not that difficult to go back to college and finish your studies now with the downtime the new CBA got the players during the offseason. Cam did it. On the flip side, forcing college players to play for one more year so they can get their degree and potentially cost them millions of dollars with an injury while playing for free (or for peanuts, in some cases) is not something I would gladly get behind.

The problem I see with paying players is that once you start paying football players, where do you stop? If you start paying college football players, then how do you justify not paying college basketball players, baseball players, or lacrosse players? Also, who determines the amount they’re paid? If it’s up to the schools, then the larger schools with more robust athletic programs get a grossly unfair advantage in recruiting by being able to offer more money. If it’s a flat rate for every program, it has the potential to RUIN smaller, less well-funded programs, especially depending on how significant the pay rate is. The situation of higher education in my state, Louisiana, is in a really bad way right now. If, on top of all of their other budget woes, colleges were required to pay their players, then I’d be willing to bet that every football program in the state except LSU (and maaaaybe La Tech) would have to shut down altogether.

I think that colleges should just let students have the rights to their name and likeness, rights which almost every other person in the country has. That way, players whose names are marketable can make money off of their play through endorsements or autograph deals, while those who aren’t destined for the NFL can still be compensated through their degree. Much less messy than the implications of making “college athlete” a student worker position.

This is the big issue, yes. The gap between rich and poor schools, in an athletic sense, is already immense. Paying players will just increase this tremendously. Unless the Power Five are severed from the rest of the conferences and the divisions are split yet again.

I understand that but scholarship money doesn’t go into your pocket. He said a lot of those guys are coming from extremely poor homes. They aren’t allowed to have jobs. They have no money and that is ridiculous. That is why people want them to get paid. They want to gige some money back home to their moms but they literally can’t because the NCAA are a bunch of cheap ass theives.

My only issue with the “pay the college athletes” argument, is that most are already being taken care of. You know, with a FULL SCHOLARSHIP to some of the country’s best schools. Should they not choose to take advantage of that, that’s on them.

TTUHISK I’M MAIMAI.
on ro arena ball, Portland vs Arizona. Rematch of week 1 in Portland where the now 4-0 Rattlers won 80-28 over the Steel, who are returning off of a bye week at 0-3. Steel have Darron Thomas (yes Dave, he’s still playing), who just got picked up off the street yesterday. Odds-makers have 28 in favor of Arizona, I have Arizona by 50. (Tonight, Cbs Sports Network, 9pm EST).
I’m going to tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon’s (2pm, ESPN3) game where 0-3 Tampa returns from their bye (where they did nothing) to play the only team they can beat with any consistency, the (1-3) Jacksonville Sharks. I hope the Sharks have used up their good quarters and tampa can maybe score 30 points. They won’t. J’ville by 30 (I’ve turned into “I miss marino” from FART).
The last game for week 5 is a Monday nighter, so the road team should win (the Monday night road team is 25-5 or some shit like that). The game is on ESPN3 online and epsn deportés on tv at 8pm. 3-1 Philly goes cross country in to LA to take on the 2-2 KISS. Soul by 4 points in a good game.

That’s also why J’ville is so fun to watch because they can score instantly, make big plays, keep any game close, (without blowing anyone out), and fail in hilarious ways. Orlando isn’t as exciting, but most games are close. Portland will always be over by the second quarter with a loss. I can’t judge Tampa as a rabid fan, but I guess they’re as watchable as Portland (but they put in less effort than Portland), Zona is what happens when Alabama plays the sun belt (except against J’ville and Orlando), LA is meh (but unpredictable), while Philly is like a boring version of the Packers, and Cleveland is the titans that occasionally make picks

Tunsil’s agent is also Gase’s agent, so I guess Gase had inside info. Also, the Jets were supposedly trying to trade up for Tunsil, but they were unable to so instead they picked up a linebacker. Anyway, I have to think it was his step-father who did it. On Bellichick’s orders, obviously.

Yesterday I said this story was amusing but over. Man was I wrong. This is probably going to snowball into the next big media frenzy (until the Patriots are accused of some other cheating incident).

I think that it may be a mistake to overestimate the strategic intelligence of the (as of yet) mystery person behind the social media hacks. I think that anything and everything they can do to hurt Laremy they will do. There may be no more motive other then to do as much damage to Laremy as they can–Ole Miss, NCAA, and everyone else concerned be damned.

First time commenter, long time reader… Just wanted to say thanks for all that you do, your comics are consistently a bright spot of my week. Friendly recommendation since your getting into podcasts now maybe a link somewhere up top or on the right to it would be nice if your going to do them consistently. Got a road trip and usually DL some sports podcasts to keep me awake and just remembered its a thing here now but I had to scroll thru a few old comics for a link, no biggie tho keep up the great work!

Good lord. He asked for rent money and utility money for his family and you just assume he is telling the truth? Don’t you think it’s possible he made that up as an excuse to get money to buy some pot? You have to at least consider this.