Teacher arrested

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and
a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder
said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra
movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI
with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They
derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret codenames
like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but wehave
determined that they belong to a denominator of the axis ofmedieval
with coordinates in every country.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If
God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction,
he would have given us more fingers and toes.' White Houseaides
told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or
profound statement by the President. It is believed that
another Nobel Prize will follow.

"When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If
God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction,
he would have given us more fingers and toes.' White Houseaides
told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or
profound statement by the President. It is believed that
another Nobel Prize will follow." original post by ghrit.