Now, any time you declare yourself the best at anything, you’re probably wrong. Good Burger’s audacious claim is nothing more than shrewd marketing.

But it’s a marketing trap that I will gladly fall for! Enticed by Good Burger’s confidence, I decided to compare it to competing local chain (and member of many a “best French fries” listicle) Boise Fry Company.

For me, those three words are the most glorious part of Thanksgiving, not so much an invitation as a starter’s gun. I sprint to the table, box out my mother and my grandparents, and throw a few elbows to keep my sister away from the gravy—you know, the buffet fundamentals.

Honorable Mention: Chives

Different foods have different degrees of upside and downside. Pizza, for instance, has sky-high upside and almost no downside—it’s really hard to mess up hot bread and cheese. Foie gras, on the other hand, has high upside and devastating downside.

I fear that Chinese food—or the popular American rendition of Chinese food—is the rare cuisine that has both low upside and high downside.