I messed the last two names up anyway

Guest Post – Trapped Behind

I’m actually writing this post without even letting Elm know that I’m writing it; I’ll text and ask her permission in a little while, obviously before publishing. Although I don’t even think I have the rights to publish… Hmmmmm….

What am I even wanting to talk about today? Well, I want to talk about life. Vague, L, vague…

I was thinking earlier on today [although it’s only 6am, so it was very early] about walls.
No, seriously, I haven’t lost it, promise…
If yu’re in your room, I bet you’re used to your walls: their colour, there little imperfection, the area where the wallpaper is just beginning to peel away from the wall. When I was younger, I used to think that there was nothing outside of my four, plain, dull-coloured walls. Outside of my small, compact room, I thought there was nothing, that everything was already here, and that was the end of it.
Even to this day, I sometimes forget that there’s a world outside, that there’s more to life than my four walls.

If you read my blog [which you really should], you’ll know that recently, I’ve had a bit of a whirlwind journalism experience, with my story being picked up, with a resulting radio show, TV segment and live radio interview. I think that only when I stood outside BBC Broadcasting House in London, my phone at the perfect angle for a selfie did something finally click into place in my head:
There’s more to life than those four walls.
Trapped by my own naïveté, I’d never considered what was really out there, available for me to grab at. Until then, I’d been living my life around conventions; living by the unspoken rule of society, living not for myself, but for the tradition of society.

What am I trying to say, exactly? Well, live. Live your life, grab at experiences and opportunities. Escape from your four walls, however frightening it may be – and yes, it is frightening. Stepping outside the world in which you’ve lived for your childhood is frightening, full of opportunities to screw up, make mistakes and end up in trouble. But listen: it’s not scary. There are people just like you and me, and trust me, if you can take the step out from behind your four walls, the hardest part is over.

I hope this made an inkling of sense, and that it’s made you think; about what, I don’t know, but thinking is good, and apparently burns calories… I’m all in!

This made me think. Think about how I constantly hold myself back. Think about what I do with my life. Think about how much time i truly spend behind closed doors. The answer is simple: it’s my comfort zone. I know myself here. I’m alone, free of judgement and free to think… Thank you for this, thank you for existing in my life, both of you. I truly love both of you from the bottom of my mostly broken heart. Thank you.

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