Posts tagged ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’

We here at hearingade would like to wish you all a Happy Halloween! Being my favorite holiday and all, I’ve already posted a mix about ghosts and a mix about monsters, but there’s always more where that came from. That’s why, for this special day, I’m listing off my 10 favorite Halloween albums that I suggest you all hunt down and buy in time for your evening celebrations.

Sometimes one song just isn’t enough. Every so often, you’ll find an album that is just so packed full of Halloween goodness, you’ve gotta play the whole thing. This couldn’t be more true for the 10 albums I’ve selected. Get ready to be spooked, because these records turn the creep factor up to 11.

1. Jeremy Messersmith — “The Reluctant Graveyard”
This album is a spectacular pop treat for the cheerfully morbid freak in us all. It’s no secret that I am a gigantic Messersmith fan (that’s not to say I am gigantic, but that my love for his music is gigantic), and “The Reluctant Graveyard” is in no small part responsible. Yes, his other albums are also magnificent, but they aren’t about dead things. This is the only one that speaks my heart’s language (and, yes, I understand how disturbing that probably sounds).

2. The Alan Parsons Project — “Tales of Mystery and Imagination”
Any Alan Parsons Project album probably has its place in a Halloween playlist, but this one especially. “Tales of Mystery and Imagination” is a collection of songs based on the literary work of Edgar Allen Poe, a man who may as well be the holiday’s mascot. With musical renditions of “The Raven” and “The Tell-Tale Heart,” the album even includes a saga of five songs dedicated to “The Fall of the House of Usher.” Not gonna lie, it’s pretty amazing.

It’s not uncommon to hear a dude complain that girls always go for “assholes,” and the nice guys never get a chance. I’m here to put that stupid idea to rest.

Because I can tell you with near-certainty that most girls do not like “assholes.” Not usually even “bad boys.” Most girls DO like nice guys. Most girls like being with boys who say nice things to them and have things in common with them and like to do fun things together. If a girl ends up with an “asshole” or “bad boy,” it’s either because a) she’s a shallow bitch who you probably don’t want anything to do with anyway; or b) he tricked her into thinking he was a nice guy by acting like one during the courting process.

See, the fact is, most girls also like being with boys who touch their boobs, et al. And unfortunately, most “nice guys” aren’t well-known for making their feelings known and putting the moves on a girl. Nice guys take note: If you want a girl to be with you, she has to know you intend to bone her.

Now, there’s of course a right and wrong way to do this. First you flirt, establish connection, make sure she likes you back. If a girl doesn’t like you back, then she’s going to be creeped out when you get to the part about your penis intentions. If she likes you back, then you’re golden. If she likes you back, she’s going to damn well expect that some naked hugging is on the horizon. (Some signs a girl may like you: She says “I like you”; she kisses you; she puts your hand on her boob; she puts her hand in your pants.)

I like talking and getting to know somebody as much as the next person, but what I don’t like is when there’s a really nice boy who I want to get sexy with and he can’t seem to get past the part where we tell each other how much we love our cats. We can ruminate on the adorableness of Mr. Flufflebuttons later, but right now it’s time to give our private parts a word in edgewise. What I’m saying is, let’s just get to the part where we bang.