One young woman's breast cancer journey

A few months ago, there was not one measly little hair on my scalp. Not one. The chemo drugs had killed off every single hair follicle, and with them, the hairs they contained. I was completely hairless! Everywhere.

Which makes THIS picture pretty fucking fabulous!

It’s so good it deserves a close up…

After everything it has been through this year, I almost find it hard to believe my body is able to recover at all, let alone start doing so this quickly. But ever so slowly, I am starting to see and feel the healing process at work. It is wonderful! Here I sit, a mere six weeks since my last chemo infusion, with a fine fuzz adorning my head. Yes, it might be greyish white and still quite sparse, but I don’t care! It is HAIR!

Hooray for hair!

I want all of you to stop what you’re doing right this minute, find the nearest mirror, and instead of bemoaning your regrowth, your rain-induced frizz or those few sneaky grey hairs, announce loudly, ”HOLY SHIT YOU LOOK AMAZING!”

For optimal levels of self-love, I recommend repeating that process on a daily basis.

I’ve taken it a step further, on the recommendation of funny-girl Zoe Foster Blake, and have popped a sign with that very phrase on it in the middle of my bathroom mirror. No matter how gross I feel, It makes me smile every time I see it!

Life’s too precious to waste feeling crap about yourself. I knew all this before, but now that I’ve been pushed to the absolute brink of self-acceptance and have had to dig really (REALLY) deep to love the face that’s staring back at me in the mirror and the body I no longer really recognise as my own…it’s something I try to actively engage with every single morning.

What’s the point in wasting time on ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’! Believe me, I have said more than my fair share of both in my life, and I’ve spent a lot of 2015 pondering where I went wrong, what on earth I did to bring on Breast Cancer, and ‘WHY THE HELL ME’!

Well…the only meaningful answer I’ve been able to come up with, in all my hours of wallowing in self-pity and questioning the unfairness of a cancer diagnosis is –

WHY THE HELL NOT ME?

I have met so many truly fab women this year, all travelling a similarly tumultuous road to recovery after a diagnosis of cancer. And I can tell you, amongst all the fear and despair, they still amaze me with their optimism and good humour, their ability to shove cancer to the back of their minds and get on with living.

It’s made me realise that the human spirit is a powerful force. We all have a lot in reserve to draw on when things are testing.

18 thoughts on “Holy Shit You Look Amazing!”

what fantastic hair-it looks like you may now be a blonde! Your reminders to make the most of life are great for me, and I have also been checking with my friends and family re breast checks. Many thanks Kate for your inspiration and honesty, love, Catriona
PS love your new fence and screens-you have beautified our little corner of Clifton Hill so well

Hi Catriona,
Thank you! So glad you like our fence and screens. We love them too. My brother designed the screens so they’re pretty special.
Hope you had a wonderful birthday holiday. Come up for a cuppa one afternoon so I can hear about it.
Kate x

I remember when my hair started to come out. It was an amazing thing to see every morning, little by little. I felt like a baby again. Until I saw my chin hairs…

I feel the same way you do about the “why not me” statement. Although we should still allow ourselves to experience all the emotions that come with this process, we should also try to feel good about ourselves.

Hair regrowth is the best feeling!!!! I’m glad it’s coming in and that you are feeling good about it. Mine started out gray as well and now it’s growing in dark. It’s very trendy. Grey hair is so in!!!!!

Ahh Kate! Your post made me grin from ear to ear – so wonderful to see your hair meandering back into your life. I prefer to call the colour silver, I’m loving the madness of mine, all curls and silver – everyone comments on it and I’m thinking I shall leave it this short for awhile. So wonderful to read about your attitude of getting out there, life indeed is too precious to waste and as I have said all along there is a positive side to everything – even cancer – yes I know that sounds weird but you know what I mean. Much love Sus xo

Hello lovely lady! Thanks for your message – and I did get your Twitter one too – sorry I haven’t replied just yet!! You know how it is on rads! 😳
I’m so rapt you’re coming to Something For Kate! And yes, coffee very soon – I finish rads Aug 26, so maybe sometime early sept. So far my skin’s holing up well, after 4 weeks. Moo Goo is great stuff.

Hey Kate Well done to your skin! So pleased to hear it’s holding up well, not long to go now, keeping my fingers crossed for you. I do know what it’s like day after day with rads you just get into a routine … let me know when in early September. I must post an updated hair photo for you to see! Can’t wait to hear when the eyelashes return, that was a joy filled day for me. Hugs Sus x😘

Hi Kate, you won’t remember me. I’m the mum of someone you were at Alphington Primary with, Michelle. I came across your words by chance through Kate and Sianan. Thank you for sharing and being so open. I have found it supportive and inspiring. Our family is going through its own cancer journey. It is important to remember all the good things we have and to keep loving yourself. I find you have helped me do that. Thankyou. Debbie

Hi Allie,
Thanks so much! My last chemo was june 24, but I’d been having Taxol, so my hair actually started growing back a few weeks before I finished. I’m now about seven weeks out from end of chemo and while it’s still very short it’s covering most of my head.
X

Thanks, I needed this. Over 7 months out with a full head of hear I despair over the length and the new curliness on a regular basis. I need to stop being so hard on myself. Thanks for reminding me of that and giving me some tips 🙂