No gold, no platinum. Odds are even against you for magic. Nevertheless, I have put my thinking cap on for you and behold, a veritable cornucopia of delights. Plus some plain weird stuff.

But before we kick off, let's just take a look at who might be hogging this little clinky clanky shiny lot...and if you thought Treasure Type B's guardians were an oddly assorted bunch, take a look at this lot.

209 copper pieces in a sack which has also been used to store meat in by the creature that had the treasure before its current custodian. Whilst the meat is quite rancid and riddled with maggots, it is generally only unpleasant, not dangerous, unless of course some of those maggots are rot grubs.

A small leather pouch, about the size of a book. Unfastened, it reveals inside several sheets of fine writing paper, a wooden stylus, a wax tablet, two quills and a pen-knife plus a small bottle of ink. The whole set is worth 500 copper pieces; however, an examination of one of the sheets of paper will reveal that it bears the impression of what was written on the sheet above it (now long gone). This will be the first half of a letter that gives some tantalising hints regarding a mystery of the DM’s choosing.

A set of copper bars, each with a hole at each end. There are twenty of them and they are of varying lengths. They are in fact components of a glockenspiel and if assembled and played in a glissando, they will generate sounds that can calm aerial attackers, be they birds, stirges, harpies or other such creatures. The value of the copper itself is 60cp but this assumes that the true function is not realised.

An earthenware jar that holds 231 copper pieces; they appear to be coins but are in fact tokens that can be purchased for use at a fertility festival at a temple in the port city of Kloccir. The design on the jar is of a priapic fellow in hot pursuit of several scantily clad nymphs.

A chest containing a set of robes (5 in all) that have been embroidered with the emblem of a local deity. They are worth 300cp as vestments alone. Sewn into the hem of one of them is a small key that has the number 796 engraved on its bow.

A straight-edge razor with a handle inlaid with mother-of-pearl and set at one end with a small gem (worth 5gp if removed). The blade is engraved with the legend “Fear the Edge of Pain”, the motto of a notorious serial killer who haunted the harbour and docks of Gallimstaal. Rumour has it that the razor is but one of his tools of torture and death and before he was hanged, drawn and quartered, he pledged to return from beyond the grave to recover and begin his killing again. The razor itself is worth 23sp but to a collector of such things, considerably more.

A pair of handcuffs, made of what appears to be iron. They have a peculiar lock mechanism that appears simple but is worked on a spring tightening mechanism. If a person is so foolish as to place his wrists inside the cuffs and close them, they cannot be opened again and any attempt to extract the hands by force will cause the cuffs to tighten. 1d6 tightenings will start to crush the wrists of the unfortunate captive, and they will complete their task in a further 1d4 tightenings. They are worth 30 silver pieces.

2 silver pieces, each with the head of a gryphon on it.

An exquisitely fashioned silver doll with finely-assembled ballgown and corsetry, inlaid with tiny pave diamonds. She has a keyhole in her back which, when wound up, causes her to unfold her clothing a layer at a time until her full glory is revealed. These automata were very popular in the Palatine Fastnesses of Hthulmoz where, it is said, gnome and dwarf worked side by side, transforming the treasures of the earth. The doll is worth 970 silver pieces if she has the key with her; if not, about 200sp less.

A walking stick, shod with silver and with the head of an eagle as its handle. The eagle’s head once had two garnets for eyes but these have long since become mislaid. Its value is 25sp. If the head is grasped firmly and unscrewed, it will reveal a long but thin container which can be used to store liquor.

A set of revealing and erotic ladies’ underwear, bundled up and stuffed into a canvas sack. On their own, cleaned and mended, they might fetch 5 electrum pieces but a careful inspection will reveal that slipped into a seam of the corset is a piece of parchment that bears the legend “Lady Rumilla’s House of Games, Admit One”. The House of Games is a top quality entertainment salon and the price of admission can often be hundreds of silver pieces. The ticket will fetch 25 electrum pieces to the right buyer.

An ornately carved pipe, its bowl fashioned into the head of a satyr; the expression on the face of the satyr is one of malicious pleasure. If the pipe is used for smoking tobacco without cleaning it out first, the user will be plunged into vivid and powerful dreams wherein he is being pursued across a moonlit landscape by baying hounds. The user must also make a System Shock roll or suffer a psychosomatic heart attack and lapse into a coma that will be hard to distinguish from death. The pipe is worth 5 electrum pieces

A large iron box (56 electrum pieces in value) inside which can be found seven lengths of dyed silk. Each length is worth 20 electrum pieces. The whole lot, box and silk is therefore worth 196 electrum pieces. The box has three locks and sealing material set into the edge of the lid to prevent moisture and pests entering and ruining the contents. The box is not currently locked. On the side of the box are the remnants of a customs seal that shows the box was last used six years ago and gives partial identification of the shipper.

19 electrum pieces in a small pouch that has the name ‘Buknard’ embroidered on it The misspelling should be enough to alert the finder to the fact that it is a crude fake.

Banded agate, worth 10gp

A quiver made of stiffened leather, bound with iron and decorated with fine silver trim. Inlaid into the leather are several runic symbols that appear to show horsemen riding into battle. Inside the quiver are fourteen crossbow bolts, each of which has a tiny sigil engraved on the head. This gives them a bonus of +2 to hit and a similar damage bonus. It will be noticed that the quiver is larger than is necessary to hold the fourteen bolts; in fact, six have already been used and it is possible that they may be found if a search is conducted within a hundred feet of the room in which they were found. The DM will need to decide if they can be located, depending on the monster that has the treasure (some more likely than others). During the search, the shattered and rusted remains of a crossbow might be found. If examined, it will bear similar runic designs to that of the quiver; the whole set once belonged to a horse khan of the dreaded Fire Raiders, who swept out of the east several centuries ago, destroying at least three civilisations in the process. They are reputed to have hauled large quantities of slaves and loot back to their homelands where they buried their wealth in huge, booby-trapped kurgans. The runic designs may give clues as to the locations of at least one kurgan, although it is in an area where the Fire Raiders’ descendants still roam.

A glass bottle enclosed in a gold clasp that keeps its lid on. It was once a perfume bottle but was later recycled as a container for a Potion of Climbing. It should be noted that prolonged storage in that container has led to a slight contamination of the potion, with possible (20%) side effects (1d8) which include

1. The arms of the drinker will grow by 50% 2. The fingers of the drinker will acquire a sticky coating that will prove impossible to remove3. The drinker will acquire the scent of the perfume originally stored in the bottle. 4. The drinker will find him/herself able to leap up to 300% higher than normal humans, although the %ge will vary on each attempt (d30 x 10) 5. The drinker’s skin will become covered in a mass of wiry black bristles, akin to those of a spider6. The drinker’s skin will take on the colour and texture of peach satin.7. The drinker will become irresistible to female birds of prey8. The drinker will gain the ability to walk on walls but find it impossible to use floors

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About Me

Over halfway to 90, I started playing AD&D when the Police were a cool band and Punk was wild. I am a father to a ten-year-old Junior Grognard and have now managed to establish a five-strong gaming group made up of him and four of his friends, ages ranging from 10 to 11. Solidly Old-School.
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