It’s Time To Lay Your Heart On The Line

Growing up, we all had that crush—that guy or gal who stole our heart long before we ever knew the true meaning of love. He or she may have been a close friend or a distant acquaintance that you admired from afar, someone who you always wanted to share your feelings for but never mustered up enough courage to do so.

The all too common adage “What if?” likely became all too real as graduation came and went. If only I would have said something, we all wonder. Would that have changed anything?

“Now look all my CatholicMatch friends and family, we posted this thread countless times, and seldom if ever do we get anyone to fess up! Now here’s the rules if you can’t stand the heat, high tail it out of the kitchen, because if you’re going to half-heartedly participate and act coy and cowardly, kindly move on to the next thread, for you have already violated the rules of the game…So in that spirit, I shall go first. Mine as of this moment is…. Ray from Wisconsin.”

Sheila-371804 goes on to describe Ray’s uncanny resemblance to one of her favorite actors, Sir Anthony Hopkins, and goes to detail his faith, compassion and wisdom. CatholicMatcher after CatholicMatcher follows suit and identifies their CatholicMatch crush and in turn, some of those CatholicMatch crushes respond back. It’s the age old scene that unfolds on playgrounds across the nation, “I, uh, just wanted to say that I, uh, like you.”

How is it that the nerves, sweaty palms and racing hearts of our childhood can still hold us back in our adult years? Is it a lack of confidence, skepticism or just plain fear? So many factors can hold us back from the perfect relationship, yet the older I get, the more I wonder if we ourselves are the very thing that stands in the way of our happiness and the love that we all deserve.

By joining CatholicMatch, you have taken a risk. You have put your heart on display for thousands of CatholicMatchers to analyze and pick apart. So why not take the extra step and tell that CatholicMatch crush exactly how you feel?

Don’t worry about what you’ll say or how he or she will react. Instead, look ahead five or ten years down the road. Do you see yourself married? With kids? Happy? You’re going to need a starting point for that life and today might as well be the day.

You may have missed a chance or two in your teen years, but now it’s time to lay your heart on the line. Be honest, hopeful and open to the many blessings God has in store for you. It’s time.

Jessica Weinberger (Zimanske) is a marketing professional and freelance writer from Minneapolis, Minn. She is a lifelong resident of the Twin Cities and loves experiencing everything the Land of 10,000 Lakes has to offer. Jessica is a loyal Minnesota Twins season-ticket holder and Caribou Coffee fanatic, as well as a proud University of St. Thomas alumna. She also enjoys photography and volunteering as a grief group facilitator. Follow Jessica on Google+

15 Comments

Ya, with Bradley, a lady is going to have to make the first move. And this is practical, because men tend to get attracted more quickly than women do. So if a woman initiates things it saves time because she’s already on board. Then a man can relatively quickly decide whether or not to respond. I’m not saying I agree with Brad about the weakness thing, tho. I always thought it took guts to show your hand. I’m just saying that if you like Brad you gotta go first.

I am genuinely, _genuinely_ confused now. I was told, initially, that “women like confidence”, “women like it when you tell them straight away that they are beautiful”; so I did those things, and I developed confidence and forwardness. I noted, also, that confidence and forwardness are part of holiness, and, instead of complaining about being called “outside of myself” (as our sexuality is supposed to do), I said “Thank you, sisters in Christ, for making me desire holiness: namely, confidence and forwardness”. After all, shyness _can_ be a form of selfishness. What I was subsequently told was: “Let’s just be friends!” “Don’t come on so strong!” “How can you even say you liked her??” “Don’t be so hasty!” I took the same approach, and assumed I was being called to holiness. “Part of holiness is self-control, awareness, decisiveness, honesty, etc.” Once again, I said: “Thank you, sisters in Christ, for making me desire holiness: namely, self-control, awareness, decisiveness!”

At this point, I make one simple request of women: give me a chance to have a conversation with you if I message you. It is patently and demonstrably untrue that women will need to make the first move with me–there are dozens of women who have messages from me sitting in their inbox they have not responded to.

I write this with the utmost feeling of confusion–I am genuinely unsure what more to do. I pursue sainthood, and it is spurned. I have spoken to a spiritual director about this, and he said “It is an opportunity to know Christ deeper–recall how He hung upon the Cross, His throne, arms outstretched, beckoning with love to His Church, His People, and they rejected Him.” I return, then, to counting the pains of romance as sanctifying, and procuring of sainthood.

This is the 1st time for this on this site. How I would wish men would see past my picture. I am haggard looking because of a very stressful marriage. Why can’t they hear what the heart is say? ” I have been down a rough road, & just want someone who can feel my soul & heart or ask questions so they can see the heart God gave me is so full & over running w/ love for one man that would be true for each other.” Why do you men have to have this Miss America? Why not a woman who puts God first in every minute of each day, & has very high morals & values, & would never put pain in a man’s heart for she had that pain & never wants to cause it in anyone else. I don’t want money, just love. Am no queen just a poor church mouse. Not demanding. Plain & modest life style.

Bradley if you do not show your weaknesses &/or emotions how is a woman suppose to get to know you? Be a mind reader.?

David praying is great to HELP find your answer. BUT it is unfair to have 2 being strung along both thinking the result for & with you. Make a list of Pros & Cons for each gal. Stat away from both & see who you think about the most & what are the reasons. Write all this down & God will show you the way my heart is saying to you.

John I feel your answer is so strong & right. It shows that you feel close enough w/ a woman to show her you can share feelings w/o being talked about or made fun of. It would only strengthen the bond what ever it is between 2 people.

May the Holy Spirit guide you all & bring the Father’s peace & joy to you all.

Sorry! I didn’t want to mean “eye!” as in “caught my eye.” Because Myra is right, this isn’t about shopping for pretty faces. The language is laced with that whole idea. Maybe say, “You’re one of the gals who caught my attention.” And then maybe tell her how she got your attention.

I HAVE reached out to the few men on CM that I was crushing on . . . it was a “no go.” My hat goes off to you fellas, I could never have been a guy (thankfully, I LIKE girle things) and be expected to make the first move.

I sent an emot with a short message two months ago to someone who’s profile I liked because he seemed kind and really nice. It was the first and only time I tried to initiate contact with a man here in the 13 months I’ve been on. I just thought I had better at least give it a try since sometimes people are here today and gone tomorrow. Unfortunately, he didn’t respond.

I will pray that we all have more confidence to reach out to contact people. Remember, here today and maybe gone tomorrow.

I love this!! I have really been thinking on this very topic lately. How many times have I missed opportunities because I was too chicken. So I have been making a pledge to myself lately to put myself out there. As my best friend and I always remind each other, stop being a chicken and get out of the coop!!!

I respond to almost every man who looks at my profile just to say thanks for looking! I ask questions if I want to know more, or wish them the best of luck if I am not interested. Then, it is up to the man to answer if he wishes. I have great friends to write to. I’ve had responses from men that showed me that I didn’t need to keep in contact with. And I keep praying.