Friday, April 07, 2006

FROM: ME?

I checked my e-mail this morning and saw something remarkable: an e-mail from myself! Curiously, I'd been filed in the Bulk folder.

This wasn't the first time I've ever received an e-mail from myself - only the first time I'd ever seen one that I didn't send to myself. Unsolicited e-mail from yourself is a scary thing. I thought it might be the beginning of a modern-day tech-savvy thriller flick called "When a Stranger E-mails."

I was curious as to what I could possibly be sending me, so I opened it and read the e-mail word for word. It turns out I was offering myself something called v_1_a_g_r_a, and promising longer, firmer erections. I was shocked. I had no idea I had become a boner salesman in my sleep, but apparently I've been hocking pharmaceutical lumber online without even knowing it.

And if you've got an e-mail address, chances are you're selling something, too. That's how these SPAM machines work - they crawl websites looking for e-mail addresses, and then use them to send out millions of junk e-mails. And most people never find out they'vee been pimping dildoes or inviting strangers to view their webcam until they get an evil reply from an angry recipient. I sent myself a reply politely declining interest in longer, firmer erections, saying they cause me much embarrassment in the shower at the gym.