Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Willie Frazer was caught baa handed with a sheep that he was not married to. Mr Frazer, 58 kept reporters talking for 14 hours until they got fed up with the story.

Frazer who wants to push a bed through Belfast past the Ardoyne shops as a part of his culture claimed that the sheep was small,soft, very alluring and spoke with a southern accent, no doubt set up by the IRA as a honey trap.

"Nat many beys can resist a drap of mint sass on sam pretty lamb" he was heard to mumble during his 14 hour filibuster.

"He just wouldn't shut up" said Matt Gloss a photographer with the Newsletter, "he just went on and on and on and on then suddenly the sheep just didn't matter anymore and the IRA ARE EVERYWHERE!!!!"

Frazer, 24 had previously studied mind control and tantric sex online at the Open University only sleeps 2 hours a night and is a spokesman for Pro-Plus caffeine tablets. Thank fuck he was not available for comment.