Friday, April 1, 2016

Break-Away Bunny causes Easter chaos

Here's the problem: Break-Away Bunny is creased for easy breakage, but the pieces are different sizes. Try serving that to children!

"It's sold as break-apart candy as if that's a good thing," says Consumer Nutrition Advisory Protector Group President Michael B. Morish. "But if the breaks aren't equal, it just makes matters worse. Children start fighting about portion size, which can result in depression, higher blood pressure, and occasional black eyes."

Parents agree that Break-Away Bunny breaks families apart. "My kids fought over their Bunny for two hours," said one dissatisfied mom. "We had to smash it with a hammer and spoon the pieces onto a kitchen scale before they agreed they had equal servings."

Morish is also considering suing the company about labeling practices. "A serving size is listed as 43 grams, but you can only eat a single serving if you combine the ears and the tail," he points out. "Otherwise, customers have no way to know how big a serving is. This could cause health problems for customers who depend on labeling for their consumption decisions." And why, he continues, "does a product with six pieces only list three servings?"

On the other hand, math teachers like using Break-Away Bunny as a classroom aid. "I asked my students to figure out what size of a group could have equal servings, and how big they would be," said one teacher, who asked to remain anonymous. "They were at it so long I watched a whole movie on my phone. Of course they never solved it."

Despite the protests of math teachers, Morish plans to continue his crusade. "The public has a right to accurate labels and accurate portion sizes," he decrees. "Break-Away Bunny is going down."