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Sunday, April 26, 2009

Sunday, April 26, 2009

You Wrecks history buffs know that my friend Abby was the one who first e-mailed me the "cake that started it all", thereby indirectly inspiring this entire blog. Abby is also the mother of Sweet Baby James, who spent 482 days spreading joy on this globe before leaving us last August. Since today would have been James' 2nd birthday, Abby asked me if she might share his first and only birthday cake here on Sunday Sweets. Knowing how awesome you guys are, I figured you'd be willing to indulge us. So, without further ado, here's Abby.

My son James lived in the hospital for the first 135 days of his life, and I couldn't wait to take him home like a real mom and show him off! However, the day before he was discharged, my dreams of a big "welcome home" party were dashed. The docs said we had to keep him away from crowds for two more months in order to protect him from germs.

So by the time we got to James' first birthday and he was more stable, we were really ready to party! Not only would it be a chance to celebrate his life with all his friends and fans, but it was a huge milestone for a special needs kid who statistically should not have survived to be born. We invited nurses, doctors, therapists, neighbors, church friends, and everyone else who read James' blog (Sweet Baby James), and commissioned a friend who was thinking about starting a cake business to make a birthday cake to feed 100 guests.

Here's the spread:

As you can see we chose an African safari theme, to match James' nursery. Our friend started working on the design over a month in advance, sending us photos of her progress along the way. The animals were painstakingly crafted out of chocolate and were very fragile, but completely yummy. Each one had a perfect smile!

The cakes were covered with buttercream frosting - no fondant - and each was a different flavor and filling. The baker's husband custom built and painted the matching cake stand, and they even found a matching "first birthday" photo frame to sit inside it. What a dream for our son's big day!

Then there were chocolate cupcakes with more animal designs to cover us if we had more people than we estimated. These were a big hit with the children when we took the leftover cake to the Ronald McDonald House the next day!

When I asked her to make James a "smash cake," the baker was concerned about his diabetes being affected by the frosting. I told her that if James actually consumed any cake, I would probably die of joy. (At that time James' arms were too weak to "smash" anything, and he was so unused to eating food by mouth anyway [he had a stomach feeding tube] that he probably wouldn't know what to do with the cake!)

Sure enough, when it came time for the smash cake James just looked puzzled. We finally guided his finger to poke the cake a little and put a crumb or two in his mouth. He seemed to really enjoy the little taste he got!

Everyone agreed that James couldn't have had a more perfect birthday cake. As it turns out, he would never need another one, so we are very thankful for this labor of love. And in case any of you were thinking of contacting my friend to order your own professional masterpiece, I have to disappoint you. A month after James' party, she moved on from cake decorating and launched a humor blog for a somewhat larger audience—but it couldn't be a more grateful one than us.

Many thanks to Abby for sharing with us today. If you'd like to learn more about James and his story, you can visit his blog here.

UPDATE: Abby and her hubby John are indeed reading all of your comments! She asked that I post this word of thanks on their behalf:

To Jen & the Wreckers: It's been amazing (again) to experience such an outpouring of love from strangers. Thanks so much for making our first birthday without James really special for us through your kind words, prayers, and thoughts. It's been incredibly encouraging and comforting for us and the grandparents to know that James is remembered and appreciated as the wonderful kid that he was and is.

Thank you for sharing their story. Their son is beautiful and it makes me cry to know they no longer have him with them. I am glad though that he had so many to love him so much. The cakes you can tell were a labor of love. I lost a child too many years ago I know how their hearts feel.

What a beautiful thing the parents did so everyone who helped their son could join in the celebration of his birthday. How sad that he is no longer with us, but I can tell that his wonderful smile touched everyone he met.

I'd say something semi-intelligent except I'm busy crying. *hugs* to you all, Abby, John, and grandparents! James was a beautiful baby boy, and I know he'll be even sweeter when y'all see him again in Heaven.

Abby,There is something so humbling and beautiful about the kind of strength that grows out of heartache. So often, the temptation is to hide our pain or our most precious memories and keep them for ourselves...but you have chosen the opposite; you have chosen what is right. Thank you for allowing your life and your son's life to be a catalyst for GOOD.

Know that sharing James' story has begun a never-ending ripple effect; a ripple that will wave through everyone who hears your story. We are changed; we are reminded of what matters; we are face to face with the beautiful, soulful eyes of a perfect child.

After I admired the cute little jungle animals, I had to read James's blog. I read through every single archive, and I can't wait to share with my kiddos, and hug them a little more often and a little tighter.

I have been left speechless by the wrecks on this blog numerous times. However, today I am left speechless for a completely different reason. Your story is truly inspirational. Thank you so much for sharing.

The cakes are beautiful! Your boy is beautiful too! God blessed you with him and blessings will continue to pour forth from his having been here with us. To love and be loved...there is no greater gift and I believe the whole reason that we are here. We love strangeres for a moment if we show kindness to them. This kindness that we believe is nothing carrys on with great effects like a ripple in the water. If a small showing of love between one another has an ongoing effect imagine what your relationship with your son and how you have shared it with others will travel and what love it will generate. In my belief system and I hope you do not mind me sharing it with you...you will see your boy again and then what JOY and HAPPINESS!

What gorgeous cakes and cupcakes! Such an adorable theme. Thank you for sharing your son's first and only birthday cakes with us. He was just beautiful and the tribute was wonderful. So happy that you were blessed to have him, even for a short time, in your life.

Thank you for sharing such a sweet story with us. The cake was beautiful, and James was an adorable little guy.

I also lost a son, but he never came home from his 55 day stay in the NICU....so I can appreciate how special those little moments that so many take for granted truly are. I will never forget James and his touching story, his family will remain in my thoughts.

An absolutely beautiful, heartwrenching and joyful post all in one. Thank you so very much for sharing with all of us. My thoughts and prayers go out to beautiful James, his remarkable family and cherished friends. James continues to touch the lives of those around the globe as he smiles down from heaven.

Thinking of you guys and sending lots of love from Omaha. James was a beautiful boy and he was here for many good reasons. He's an inspiration. Thank you for sharing his life and story with us.LoveKianna

I have only just read the post; I was moved but didn't start to cry until I saw the joy on James's face and in his eyes.God does send trials, but also great gifts. James uplifted me in just the moments I read about him, and the description of him having his own ministry was so true.His soul will keep bringing joy to others for all eternity.

Oh goodness. This is definitely the best "sunday Sweet" as it has the sweetest story. What an amazing friend to make such a cake! James was lucky to be surrounded by such loving people during his short time on earth - and now I look forward to meeting him someday!

My daughter sent me the link to Abby's blog last night, and I spent some time getting to know sweet baby James. His parents are truly blessed, because they see with eyes not filled with sorrow, but with grace.

The cake is beautiful. What a lovely tribute to a gorgeous little boy!

Im a long time wreck-reader, but this is the first entry ive ever commented on. My heart goes out to James's family. He was such an adorable little boy with gorgeous eyes. And he knows just how much his parents and family loved (and still do) love him. For his brief time here on Earth, you gave him more than he could ever have imagined. That little angel is waiting for you up in heaven, ready to give you the big hugs you've long awaited for! -hug-

These are the most beautiful cakes ever. From this post I went and read the entire Baby James story form the beginning, and I finished it in two days. It is the most heart wrenching and insprirign story I have ever heard. And it really touched my heart! Baby James was such an inpritation and beautifully perfect child.

The tears i usually get from reading Cake Wrecks are usually flowing like a river. But this was a wonderful post, a wonderful cake and a wonderful family. I've bookmarked their blog and added it to my reading list. Thank you for sharing!

This was moving and I did cry (usually Im crying from laughing!). Jen the cakes -especially the little animal faced cupcakes were ADORABLE. Im so glad to know God has Baby James and his family in His arms.

I've been following Cake Wreakers for several weeks now and I'm pretty sure that I've read everything your site has to offer :-) What can I say? I love your blog just as much as I love cakes! But I haven't commented until now....

Abby, thank you so much for opening up your heart, photo album, and family to all of us. It's obvious that your precious baby boy has affected and stolen the hearts of nearly every reader. I'm so encouraged by your strength as a mother and by his child-like joy and fascintation of sugar. :-)

May God bless you and your family.

P.S. I'm sure James' 2nd birthday cake and his audience of angels was just as stunning as his first.

I have to say, I usually turn to cake wrecks for giggles; tonight however, I read the story of James and cried like a baby. My heart goes out to mom and dad who obviously love their little James! What a beautiful cake and what a beautifully sad story!

My baby girl was born 3 months early and spent 76 days in the NICU and came home on oxygen. She has lung issues, but is now 3. My baby boy was born a little over a year later, but passed before he was born. The grief of burying a child is unlike any other. Your son is a beautiful boy. I'm so happy you were able to spend such a wonderful time with him and enjoy his 1st birthday. And I'm so sorry for your loss.

I almost lost my special needs son soon after his birth. He is now 9 months old and doing well. I wish that your family, Abby, had the same. I looked at James' site and was incredibly touched by the Bible verse y'all had chosen before he was born. He surely lived up to that verse and is touching people even though he is no longer here on earth. Thank you for sharing his story. His smile is so beautiful and honest. I am deeply sorry for your loss. God bless.HollyBiloxi, MS

My first-born (now a strapping 3-day-old!) was born the day this post went up. I can't even imagine going through what Baby James' family has. This story is so touching -- thank you so much for sharing it!

I've never posted on CakeWrecks before, but read it regularly. I saw this and had to write.

James looks like such a happy, sweet little boy in these photos. How lucky he was to have you (Abby and her husband) for parents, and this wonderful safari birthday celebration. How lucky you are to be touched by him.

I read about James' sweet life on your blog a while back and cried my eyes out. I have a little boy who is almost one, and I can't help but think of him when I read about James. Thank you God for his life and the lives he continues to touch. I'd love to experience the outpouring of kisses James is getting from our Papa! We love you guys and are praying for you!

I come to cake wrecks for the laughs, and am now sitting here with tears streaming down my cheeks. My own beautiful son, Finnegan, spent the last year of his life in intensive care and passed away on 3/20/09 at the age of 4.5...what would have been his 5th birthday will be 6/3--and I hope I can muster the courage and energy to celebrate his life as James' mother has on his birthday.

Sending loving thoughts your way and certain your sweet James was able to run on his own steam to sit at God's side and eat handfulls of sweet frosted cake for his birthday this year. God Bless!-Melissawww.myventspace.blogspot.com

What a precious, precious little soul. Jen, your cake and cupcakes are outstanding and obviously a labor of great love - I can see why. That sweet little one stirred my heart and I only saw pictures - you knew him! Thank you, Abby, for sharing with us.

Thank you for sharing this lovely story of a beautiful baby boy and his parents. James' story is bittersweet, yet it made my Mother's Day. Children such as James are God's Angels on Earth. Thank you, and God Bless You, for sharing him.

This post really touched me, and I'm trying not to cry at work. What a wonderful first birthday you helped your friend give to her sweet baby boy. I know she must miss him every day, and I hope that great picture of him with his smash cake looking so happy gives her some comfort.

This really brought tears to my eyes. What a special little boy, and what fantastic parents he was given to celebrate his short life with! My son celebrated his first birthday yesterday, and this reminds me to treasure every day I have with him Thank you for this inspiration.

What a sweet story with a beautiful cake! James looks like was a very sweet boy that brought much joy to many people. I love his smile after he ate the cake!! He and the family are such an inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing.

I realize this post is coming waaaaaay late, however, this Sunday Sweet's post linked back to James's birthday cake. My son Malcolm was born at 1 lb. 9.5 oz and spent 5 months in the NICU. He was terribly unhealthy for a long time. We were extremely lucky that he made it to his 1st birthday and beyond. He had a trach and a feeding tube and was not permanently off oxygen until he was about 2 yrs. 9 months. I am so grateful he has made it to 5 years. I have known so many NICU and PICU families who lost their precious ones as you have.

There is an extremely wonderful organization here in Tucson called "Ben's Bells." www.bensbells.com It is founded and run by a family who lost their little one too soon. The driving philosophy is basically, random acts of extraordinary kindness.

My heart goes out to you. I know how that first birthday felt. We weren't sure if he was going to make it then.

Another late poster, thanks to the link from this week's Sunday Sweet. My three year old son has been fighting cancer for the last two years, so I have an inkling of what you're feeling. At his two-year birthday, I cried because I didn't know if he'd be able to walk or have both legs when his third birthday rolled around.

I'm glad sweet baby James was able to have such wonderful birthday party, and you are in my thoughts.

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