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Friday, March 20, 2009

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think
About the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
And dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
Of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say
To myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
Dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

Jack Handy
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
Wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
Going to feel all day."

Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
Are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are Laughing WITH you.
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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
I think not."

Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can
Sing.
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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
We fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
Get drunk and go to heaven!"

~ Brian O'Rourke
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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants
Us to be happy."

~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
A retard.
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"Without question, the greatest invention in the
History of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
Wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
Not go nearly as well with pizza."

~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
Over and over again that you love them.
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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a
Can!

~ Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
Logically converse with members of the opposite s e x without spitting.

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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,

Of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the
Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.

Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo
Can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when
The herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones
At the back that are killed first This natural selection is
Good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed
and health of the whole group keeps improving by
the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the Human brain can only operate as fast
as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
Know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
Weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
Eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
Efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few Beers."

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

yeah.. thts abt all the pretence im gona keep up abt me havin enjoyed it! I started out wit fever, n tonsillitis, and ended with a major stomach upset.. and thr ya hav it.. a week ovr!!Ok.. it dint suck tht bad... i had this nice week of classes to look forward to.. b4 the exams.. :mad

but they say all's well that ends well.. and i do hope it does.. the exams.. really.. il tel ya all abt it after em.. n thr was this thing tht happend last december.. screw it! hw did i nvr mention it!!!

il have to update on abt that eventful trip to trivandrum.. hehe.. yeah, tht was a apoiler..i'm Awesome...