We're forever asking such questions. "Our brains are comparison machines, always tuned in to relative differences," says social psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson, coauthor of Focus: Use Different Ways of Seeing the World for Success and Influence. Trouble is, comparing can get discouraging. So don't get hung up on what might have been. Instead, Halvorson says, "look at people who are doing it right — or at least better. Don't think 'How good am I at this?' Think 'How can I get better?' "