This is mostly just an fyi and Burning Man friendly posting. I know that most Burning Man experiences are entirely positive. I had some really great and wonderful experiences at Burning Man. I did, however, have some negative experiences as well... mainly that I hear voices. It's been quite a number of years since my last visit to the playa (I went about a half-dozen times between late 90's and early 2000's), yet I still am dealing with the voices that found me at Burning Man. I recently decided to begin writing about my experiences. I had searched quite some time ago for online support with this issue but came up mostly empty-handed, but not completely. I hope you don't read this as any kind of a negative slight towards Burning Man as that is not what I intend. I love my good Burning Man memories and a few nights ago I was driving home late after getting some exercise and it smelled like a bonfire outside which brought back memories of walking back to camp late, late at night with that smell in the air on the playa. Here's the info and followed by my first posting. Thanks for reading this with an open mind.

Thanks for again for your open mind and for not considering this as any kind of slight towards Burning Man... it was just one of my experiences albeit a lasting one. It sounds crazy and when I look at it from outside my own experience, it is crazy and I admit it completely. There's no reason anyone has to take any bit of it seriously. It's just an experience. At the very least, take it with a grain of salt realizing that this is a very rare kind of experience that, in terms of numbers, virtually no one will also experience, but maybe, just maybe, if someone is hearing voices, for whatever reason, we can talk about it. Please, please do not be offended by it, but rather just ignore it. Again, it's just my own experience and this board is titled, "Experiences at Burning Man," and this all started at Burning Man... and I hate to have to say this, but I know I do... No, I'm not on drugs and yes, I am on psych meds... like I said, take this experience with a grain of salt as it will most likely not apply or relate to your own in any way, shape, or form...

This is what I've written so far...

I hear voices. I have been hearing them for awhile now. They 'found' me when I went to the Burning Man festival years ago and they were always with me at Burning Man once they 'found' me. They have some kind of technology that allows them to do this. My best guess is that it works something like this... Our brains work by 'electric' impulses down and across neurons. These impulses are electrical magnetic emissions that not only work inside our own heads, but actually are strong enough to emit electrical waves that travel, like a radio signal, outside our head. The people/with that I deal with have either developed or have been given technology that can detect and receive/send such emissions. Further, each of our brains transmits on a unique frequency and, just as we each have fingerprints that are unique to each of us, our brain frequency is unique as well. If you can determine someone's frequency and you have this technology, you can not only 'listen' to someone's thoughts, but you can transmit 'thoughts' into their minds.

I've made a decision to write about my voices. In fact, I made it last weekend. I was enjoying a weekend vacation, but the voices were coming in to annoy me and ruin it, so I decided to write about them in detail including their tactics in hopes of achieving a few things. 1. To expose the voices. 2. To protect others from their tactics. 3. To reveal as much about their tactics as possible. 4. To do something about it instead of doing nothing.

These voices mostly use one tactic on me which is to be as negative as possible. Lately they've resorted to repeating two phrases over and over and over. 1. They simply state that I am the stupidest person on the planet. 2. Whatever I am thinking about, it doesn't really matter what it is, they simply say, "That's the truth." For example, if I say something as inane as, "I should clean the dog's food dish," they interject, "That's the truth." into my mind. Well, duh, of course that's the truth... it gets really annoying to hear that over and over and I'm currently at a very high level of frustration over it. They also have keywords that trigger recorded responses. So, for example, if I think the word 'stupid' to myself, a recorded voice automatically says, "you're the stupidest person on the planet." There are a number of keyword triggers. Years ago, they were so aggressive and cruel that eventually, I snapped and tried to commit suicide and ended up in a 30 day induced coma in the hospital which I managed to recover from... One lesson I learned from that experience is that suicide is never the answer.

The people that are the voices are an organization of sorts. They work in shifts. For me, they have three people on shifts, both men and women although it is usually two men and one woman on each shift lately - always three people. In the past, it has only been men and it seems to be trending back to being only men on my shift. The three people have access to recordings of phrases so sometimes it may appear as if there are more than just three people, but as far as I can tell, it's really just three people to a shift which lasts a few hours before new people come in to start a new shift.

I've started doing research to better understand psychological torture so I've ordered and have started reading some books and articles about it.

Thanks for reading this far and not being completely offended. This is just my experience at Burning Man. Although most experiences at Burning Man are positive, sometimes there are less than positive experiences. I hope also to share some of my more positive experiences.

It's worth pointing out that psych meds are drugs. That's not a condemnation, but a clarification.

It's also worth noting that while some people do experience some otherwise inexplicable connections (with loved ones lost, kindred spirits, etc) from time to time, what you are describing (persistent issues, ongoing negativity) sounds like something that's connected with mental health issues. That you first experienced it while at Burning Man doesn't mean that Burning Man or playa dust is filled with ethereal spirit stalkers or causes mental illness, it sounds more like that was the time and place you first experienced such a break.

I'm neither a doctor nor a therapist, but it sounds very much like you should get in touch with your doctor immediately. As a layman, I think the occasional 'voice from beyond' imparting wisdom or inspiration is okay, but persistent issues like you describe do not sound healthy. Share with him/her what you've posted here, and have a discussion about your current medication and possible changes that you may need to make to the medication you're taking. Depending on the medication, even a slight imbalance in the dosage could have pretty severe effects, so it's best to get with your caregiver to help fine-tune your prescription. Good luck!

jkisha wrote:You need to stop doing research and seek medical help ASAP.

I understand I'll get replies like this. In general, I will ignore them. Again, this is just MY experience. I will focus on only writing about the portions that I experience directly at Burning Man. Yes, you're right. I do see a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. Yes, I do take pysch meds. Yes, you can say I have a mental illness. If that disqualifies me from participating in this forum about experiences at Burning Man, I guess I'll have to accept that. People with diagnosed mental illnesses also attend Burning Man... Yes, perhaps it's not the ideal event for such a person, I would readily admit. Yes, I stopped going. Yes,I won't come back to the playa until this is resolved, if ever. Yes, the post should be taken in this context and I posted about being on psych meds in the original post. No, I'm not trying to be offensive to Burning Man... Yes, I completely understand your post.

Trilobyte makes very good points.

>It's worth pointing out that psych meds are drugs. That's not a condemnation, but a clarification.

Yes. that's true. I was meaning to distinguish between medicine and illicit drugs. I readily admit I take psychiatric drugs. This clarification is definitely valid.

I am meeting with a psychiatrist who handles my psychopharmacology needs this afternoon - we meet monthly. Therapy is weekly. Yes, while the voices found me at Burning Man, it doesn't mean anything about the Burning Man event, especially now. I experienced more than just voices (interactions with real people) and I might describe some of those later or I might not. Even that has nothing to do with anything other than MY experience at Burning Man and is no indication that anything is actually happening at Burning Man. I've just decided to write/share a little about what I experienced.

I also sometimes hear a voice in my head, often telling me that I'm the dumbest person on earth. One of our internal voices is lying then. I know that the voice is my own though. It might be easier for me to believe it is others projecting that negativity on me, but I know that the any voice in my head, ultimately, is my own. Your own sensitivity (which can be positive as much as negative), to others, experiences, yourself, might have more to do with the voices than any technology others deploy. There are two realities, one outside, and one inside.

BRCvoices, you might want to show this thread to both of your mental health practitioners when you visit--they know you far better than we do & may have an opinion about the value of the environment here for your state of mind. ePlaya has a great deal of information and social value, but it is not a place known for kindness or softness, and indeed has a lot more in common with the general internet than the Burn. As many new folks in general notice: you are likely to encounter disagreement, rudeness, sarcasm, irreverence, dubious advice, disbelief, dismissiveness, wildly insensitive humor, etc.

That said, hello.

*** 2017 Survival Guide ***"I must've lost it when I was twerking at the trash fence." -- BBadger

Savannah wrote:BRCvoices, you might want to show this thread to both of your mental health practitioners when you visit--they know you far better than we do & may have an opinion about the value of the environment here for your state of mind. ePlaya has a great deal of information and social value, but it is not a place known for kindness or softness, and indeed has a lot more in common with the general internet than the Burn. As many new folks in general notice: you are likely to encounter disagreement, rudeness, sarcasm, irreverence, dubious advice, disbelief, dismissiveness, wildly insensitive humor, etc.

That said, hello.

Thank you, that is very good advice and guidance. I will tread lightly if at all further...

Ive heard voices in my head my whole life , if I would have listened Id be in prison by now. I had a bad head injury at 5 ,so I fiqured Im messed up a bit. The voices say crazy things , but do I listen , no

Awesome. I actually printed this out the night before I started this thread and it is waiting on my bedside table for me to read. I just need to stop working at a reasonable hour so I don't fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow. I aso printed out this one which has describes an interesting tact some are taking with dealing with voices.

ranger magnum wrote:I think its pretty cool you can write about what is going on in your head.

Yeah, exactly.That's exactly where it's going on.

The rules for if you have voices...(not auditory hallucinations, but real people voices)...

1. Realize that if you have voices from Burning Man (or real people voices - you'd know what I mean otherwise this OBVIOUSLY doesn't apply or mean a thing to you... You have rules that you have to follow.

2. Don't do drugs. Realize that the voices don't go away just cause you stop. There's a punishment period accruing while using. After you stop doing drugs, the punishment is equal to the time you were doing drugs.. the earlier you stop, the shorter the punishment period after you stop. If you have a partner, come clean as soon as possible.

3. If you stop using and relapse, you need to stop your relapse and tell your partner, if you have one, that you relapsed. The punishment period equals the time of your total relapse plus the time it takes you to come clean with your partner (to tell them you relapsed). You could get clean but wait months to tell your partner that you had a relapse and all during that time, you are accruing punishment time which only starts when you tell on yourself.

4. Don't lie about important things. If you lie about something important and voices come in, figure out what you need to tell the truth about as soon as possible because your punishment time is the time from the lie until you tell the truth and the punishment time starts after you tell the truth.

So, those are the rules (in my head, if you will). Some will understand. However, the stupidest thing about all this is how fucking narrow and closed-minded the voices are. They are robots who simply do what they are told to do whether it is right or wrong. I got punishment because I made $3,000 in micro-loans to the working poor but told my wife I had only made $1,000. I had $40,000 in my business PayPal account at the time and this was considered an important lie, so they came in brutally for about six months while I worked on my business and worked on starting a non-profit. The closed and narrow minded voices pushed me to a suicide attempt in which I nearly died (in a coma for 30 days)... all over $2,000 in loans to the working poor around the world which, in the end, where all paid back to me and returned to my bank account.

The intricacies of punishment are not fully understood by myself - how could they be - the voices confirm everything so everything is also a lie. There's no denying they tried to kill me because I was making $2,000 worth of loans that my wife didn't know about for a short time, as far as I remember. This is the ultimate in stupidity. It shows they do not have any clue whatsoever as to what's going on with a client, in reality. Anything can happen because they do not take care to be aware themselves. They lost their ability to reason and I don't yet see that they have it back or even want any ability to reason - they are rules followers which disgusts me. Everything for the rules. Don't do anything to lose your job even if it's wrong. In the end, I do more right than they do in their lives because they do something so wrong and just go along with it.

You can write this off as a crazy ass post from someone with mental issues. But I wanted to put the rules down so someone who understands what I am talking about has a chance to minimize the ridiculous punishment by knowing the rules behind it. Oh, and I guess what it also says is, don't go doing something good without telling your partner even if it has absolutely no effect on them whatsoever... and if you get to the point where you've got more punishment than you can see past, screw the voices anyway and just live your life - appreciate what you have and tell them to fuck off because they are the least principled people and they know it. I know another group of guards that just followed orders without questioning them and who didn't want to lose their jobs too. So when the voices tell you "Wrongest Answer", you can tell them they represent the "Wrongest Answer" themselves.

The thing is, real people's voices are created by vocal cords, in peoples throats... If the sounds are coming from within a persons head, and they are the only ones hearing the voices, that doesn't fit with "real" persons voices. I call those thoughts, and they are real, but they are thoughts, not voices. That's just the rule I go by though. If these voices lie to you, maybe they are not worth listening to and giving credit. And the rules might actually be your own making, along with the notion of punishment.

"If this is the best of all possible worlds, what are the others?"- Voltaire, Candide

The thing is, real people's voices are created by vocal cords, in peoples throats... If the sounds are coming from within a persons head, and they are the only ones hearing the voices, that doesn't fit with "real" persons voices. That's just the rule I go by though. If these voices lie to you, maybe they are not worth listening to and giving credit. And the rules might actually be your own making, along with the notion of punishment.

Sure, and vocal chords produce sound waves. Those waves can go into a microphone and, if you think about it, go a lot of places... out to a crowd at baseball game, across the Internet as data, come out of a radio speaker, be stored as bits on a hard disk to played again later by a computer through headphones.

We all have unique fingerprints. Is it beyond belief that we have a fingerprint that is the frequency of our thought?

Write it off as a crazy talk. Don't consider any other possibilities. That's the easiest thing to do.

ranger magnum wrote:A lot of this applies to life in general, voices or not.

Yes, and it shows what an idiot I am for not getting it sooner. Thankfully, I finally got it and appreciate what's right in front of me now, at last.

Your not an idiot. You just didnt have all the information at that time.

The following analogy is probably not applicable to your situation, but it may explain my above reply.

I am currently building a vintage Buick. At this particular point in the build, I am running all the wiring to the various electrical components such as the generator, gauges, lights, etc. A little while ago, I was having issues with a particular component (a coil resistor). I couldnt get past this one problem. The wiring loom was too short. Every other connector was in the right place, but for some reason I was about 3" too short at the resistor I pondered this for days, wondering what I had fucked up.

Without getting into the minutia of the problem (using a 1956 engine/trans combo in a 1953), I discovered I needed a 56 shop manual. I had a 53 manual. In short, I didnt have all the information I needed to solve my problem. As it turns out, the 53 locates the resistor in a different position than the 56. Simple, once I had the proper information.

I know this is an overly simplified analogy, but there may be some parallels with your situation.

I know this is an overly simplified analogy, but there may be some parallels with your situation.

Best of luck

Yes, if I had the info ahead of time, I might have made some different decisions, but I wasn't given that info nor did I really figure it out - or give it proper thought ahead of time. But at the same time, now that I've started to really think about it, I realize that some of the decisions I made were in response to situation I was put in by these voices and while they ask my things like, "what do I know about accepting responsibility?" they also could be asked the same question. I may have made some mistakes, but they've made some mistakes and some of the same mistakes over again. I started a Google blog (non-commercial) today about my experiences with the voices and who I think they are and how they are associated with Burning Man and what they are doing for/at Burning Man. It's under my name, brcvoices, so it shouldn't be too hard to find by those that might be interested. I'm betting that's a better place for it than here.

Thank you for your good wishes (of luck)... I appreciate your generosity.

Just a guide to these voices who lurk on the playa looking for certain types of people. If you don't have voices, no need to consider this thread.

1. They don't care about your family or kids. If they can hurt them, they would. If they can kill you, that's great by them.

2. If you're having a problem with addiction, time to stop it asap. They will try to take other things away from you, but don't be their slave. They are only here for the former and #3.

3. Don't lie to your partner = six months more.

4. As far as I can tell, the time of your punishment is the time of use/relapse until you stop. You don't start working off your punishment time until you tell on yourself to your partner.

5. If you do go to rehab, voices stop immediately.

6. That's it. They're not here for anything else. Once again, don't be their slave. Don't agree to any other bullshit and live as their slave for the rest of your life doing something for them and not for you or your family.

They will do anything to get you more punishment time. I tried (and did) to protect my child from them and I choose to do it two additional times even though it cost me an additional six months. Stay away from anti-psychotics as they will not help with these voices and you'll gain a ton of weight which is hard to lose, but not impossible.

Yes, I am diagnosed with chronic PTSD and I have attended Burning Man four times. Once again, if you don't have voices, this thread is of no consequence/interest to you.