Month: March 2015

It’s always refreshing to go back to one’s roots, and one’s favourite books. I’m currently re-reading a few books by Luisa Francia, one of my favourite, well, I suppose you could say “magic teachers”? She’s so refreshingly down to earth, has lived in different parts of the world and learned from magicians of tribal communities, and developed her very own, very Western approach to magic, and one I can relate to so well.

There aren’t too many of those!

For example, she writes about the way people get so absorbed in their phones and computers. What many people simply write off as a negative trait of modern times, she calls by its name: It’s a form of trance. And human beings have always sought out states of trance, always. In medieval times it was the steady tilling or sowing of long furrows in the fields, or the ever-same turn of the spinning wheel or the weaving loom, in other times and cultures it was and still is dances with repetitive motions (including dancing to modern electronic music).

When I’m in front of the computer, I can get so absorbed I’m completely oblivious to the world. Suddenly I look up and Titus is on the “roof” of the aviary, and I didn’t even hear him flying out the cage door (in case you didn’t know, budgies make an almighty racket when they fly, they sound like helicopters). Suddenly I look up and it’s two hours later. It happens when I’m playing WoW, but also when I do other things online. Most people know the phenomenon when they’re on social media. TV has a similar effect – not all the time, but it happens.

How about we stop seeing this as a bad thing, and welcome it as a human need? Yes, the teen with their head bent over their phone doesn’t chat to strangers at the bus stop. Then again, who does? As long as we still communicate with real people, as long as we still hug and meet up and do “real” things in the real world, our electronic trances are no worse than anything humans have done throughout history.

What else is new? Life is kicking me in the backside. I get more and more signals that I’m actually supposed to go in the direction I want to go to. This weekend, I started having symptoms of RSI (Repetitive Stress Injury) in my right forearm. I’m having an assessment by Occupational Health today and I’ll also see a doctor about this. I’ve ordered a bandage/splint to wear at night and read up on all sorts of exercises and other things to do to alleviate the pain and prevent it from becoming permanent. But in the end, the message is: Don’t spend all day and evening at a computer!

That’s the moderation I mentioned above. It does not exist in my life at the moment. I don’t get to hug people nearly enough. I spend all day at the PC in work, and then again for either Coaching or Gaming in the evening. It has to change, and it will – watch this space! I’m not going to be a stressed office worker forever (although I’m with a very decent company, it’s still office work, and the pressure in recent months has been incredible).

It’s happening. The Empress is on her way.

P.S. I’ll not stop working altogether, or Coaching or indeed gaming, and certainly not blogging! No worries. Moderation is where it’s at.

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I’m in a weird state of suspension at the moment. You know how they say, that you shouldn’t spend your life waiting for the future, anticipating but never living in the moment? Well, it’s kind of hard right now.

Believe me, I’m trying. I’m talking to my cutest. I’m going to the movies with friends. I’m consciously appreciating the fact that my life isn’t at all bad right now. And still I’m wired. The full moon isn’t helping either, it’s making me twitchy and impatient with all that extra energy.

I’m still enjoying it. Search me.

The fact is that there are several big changes in my life upcoming, and I can’t even talk about it right now because it’s just not ready to be shared. And so I wait, trying to get grounded, but it’s rather like catching a wet bar of soap – kind of fun, but slippery and hard to get a hold of!

To give you an idea of the process I’m going through, it’s like the early stages of hatching (well, I’m a mad bird lady, what kind of metaphor did you expect from me??). I’m struggling, squirming, pecking a hole, slowly widening the appearing cracks. It’s rather uncomfortable but also familiar and comforting. But out there is the world, and that’s my destination. So I keep pecking.

In less cryptic and more enjoyable news, I’m making a serious effort to get my budgies, if not tame, then at least less afraid of me. Drama-queen Tia’s lessons are anchored deeply within them; especially Talion is absolutely terrified of me, or to be precise, of my hands.

As long as my hands are on my back, they happily close their eyes at me and fluff up while they listen to me singing their praises. But scary hands appearing in front of or (shock, horror!) INSIDE the aviary, and they panic, no matter how slow-motion my movements are. I’ve tamed several budgies in my life, but this is new: they are fairly independent of me and have a big aviary to fly to the furthest corner where I can’t reach them, the little beggars.

Still, there’s progress. Some days ago, they ate eggfood out of a bowl I was holding. That was my greatest triumph. Titus even put his claw on my finger (which was wrapped around the bowl). I wanted to shout: “Yes, yes, yesssss!! Little-Titus claw on my finger!!” but I knew better and just continued murmuring what a clever little budgie he was, whilst holding perfectly still.

Funny how some people don’t understand that my heart stops and starts with moments like these.

And that’s my rather weird update this week. I hope I’ll have more and clearer news soon! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the full moon and all the abundance and energy She brings.

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