Wednesday, November 09, 2011

On the road to famous

I guess I should have realized that sooner or later this was going to happen.

You see, having a "public" blog can be difficult when you lead what you feel like is a fairly "private" life. I guess when I started posting on this blog every day and linking to facebook and twitter, it never occurred to me that anybody and everybody was going to be able to know the details of my life.

It has taken me by surprise. Maybe the road to famous isn't as easy as I always thought it would be?

EXAMPLE NUMERO UNO:
A few weeks ago I was walking in the hall, quickly returning to my classroom after a bathroom break. I saw a fellow English teacher. Imagine a brunette Sue Sylvester. That is this lady.

"Blackburn!" Brunette Sue yelled to me.
I need to tell you the truth, and the truth is that sometimes I am intimidated of this teaching cohort of mine.

"Oh, hi, what's up," I tried to act casual. Nothing fishy going on here. No teacher sneaking out of her classroom, leaving 40 highly emotional and sexually charged teenagers by themselves. Nope. None of that around these parts.

"You know there's a bathroom in the counselling office if you ever want to use that one?"
"What?" (okay... most random comment ever...)
"You know... because it's too far you to go to the faculty bathroom, and then you accidentally overhear dirty conversations in the students' bathroom...

This was outrageous! How did Brunette Sue know so much about my life?!?

"How do you know about these things? I demand to know!" (Sometimes I act quite authoritative at school. People have to know I mean business. Even when those people greatly intimidate me.)
"Oh... I do some reading..." and she sauntered off down the hallway.
The light bulb went on.
This was the fault of the blog.

EXAMPLE NUMERO DOS:
I was planning on going over to my mom's house to hang out one day after school. But I had a huge headache and could barely make it through the day teaching, let alone go hang out, be lively, be entertaining, etc. The only thing dancing around in my little head was a bed. As in... I wanted more than anything to go home, get into bed, hide under my big down comforter and sleep until the headache went away.

Yes, I have always considered myself very pain tolerant, why do you ask?

I called my mom to tell of her plans, "Mom, I'm not going to come over after school today. I'm not feeling very well."

"It's that headache, isn't it?"

I was taken aback. I hadn't told my mom a thing about my headache.

"You know you really should back off of the diet coke. I'm sure that's what is causing your headaches."

EXAMPLE NUMERO TRES:
I was chilling with my friend, watching Kardashians and TeenMom and all of those classy shows that make me the quality person that I am today. Out of nowhere my friend said to me, "I was looking at a picture of Greg with his shirt off the other day. You two are going to produce some white white children."

First off. RUDE! In many cultures skin of such utter paleness is highly valued, thank you very much. Second off. Since when has my friend been staring at pictures of MY shirtless Hubs? That kind of stuff is for Bon's eyes only. Sheesh. People these days they take so many liberties.

"Why in the world were you looking at a picture of Greg with his shirt off?!?!" My friend was going to have to explain herself here if she wanted to still be my friend. Explain herself AND stop perving on my husband. (I have very strict standards for friendship, you see.)

I very (very very very) briefly considered stopping writing on my blog. After all, who wants the whole world to know every detail of their personal life?

But then I remembered how much I love to write and that I am growing somewhat attached to my own daily musings. And in that moment I knew. I knew that I must own up to the situation. If becoming rich and famous includes people knowing stuff about your life, then so be it! Bring it on! It's a hard life becoming famous, but somebody has got to do it (I mean, hello! I've got 20 followers on this blog!), and so I, out of the goodness of my heart, will volunteer for the job of famous and bravely accept whatever consequences follow.

And you know what else? I really do sympathize with old Kim Kardashian. Living under the scrutiny of the public eye ain't easy.