A satirical blog about media, marketing, advertising, politics, pop culture, etc. All references to actual companies, products, people, etc. is for the purpose of parody. All writing is copyright by Greg Medernach, and is mostly intended as absurdist humor, and as a portfolio of comedy and creative advertising material. Questions and Comments: unconditionedresponse@yahoo.com

Monday, January 16, 2017

10 Cloverfield Lane

I have been avoiding seeing this movie for a while because I
am getting tired of partisan stuff, and I thought this was another partisan
movie like Red State. But actually,
it’s great!

I think, from what I have seen this year, John Goodman
should win the Oscar for Best Actor for 10
Cloverfield Lane. I probably sound like I am joking, but I’m not. His
performance really made me think about what it would mean to have to live in an
underground bunker after some apocalyptic event. I have seen a lot of
apocalypse movies, but I never believed it like here, and it was because of
John Goodman’s performance. When you think about a horror/sci-fi movie like
real life, and it makes you really consider things you’ve never seriously
thought about before, then that’s a great performance. And so I’ll say it
again: John Goodman for Best Actor 2016.

And aside from that, wow, think of all the missed
advertising tie-ins! There are prepper food companies who didn’t tie-in with
this movie? How about Twinkies? People used to say Twinkies would last for 100
years, and no tie-in ads? What about car batteries? She starts up her car after
the alien attack and they don’t say only a (whatever brand of) battery will
start even after an alien attack? And what about antifreeze? Surely only one
brand still lets your car run smoothly after the heat and cold of whatever
alien attack, right?

And what about air fresheners? After a few days in a hole in
the ground, you need the stink-killing freshness of Febreze! And don’t forget
Listerine fresh breath strips and Big Red Gum! Plus, with no dentists, you’ll
need Trident Sugarless Gum: 4 out of 5 melting zombie dentists demand their
victims chew sugarless gum or else they won’t eat their brains!