On June 21, the Ottawa Citizen issued the following correction, which — if left unamended — would've violently upended the last 500 years of heliocentric thinking. In related news, Nicolaus Copernicus' tomb has spontaneously combusted in Frombork, Poland. Tiny mushroom clouds were similarly reported over Johannes Kepler's and Galileo Galilei's graves in Regensburg, Germany and Florence's Basilica of Santa Croce, respectively.