Star Trek is owned by Paramount,
Creating money to fill their bank account.
Alan Decker is just a poor aspiring writer,
Writing Star Traks to make your life lighter.
Star Traks:
Choice Blend
by Alan Decker
"Captain's Log, Stardate 51017.3. The recent transfers of
Ensigns Larkin and Charlie Preston off of the Secondprize have
left the bridge crew a bit on the short-handed side. Specifically, we
don't have an operations officer. Needless to say, I'm a bit concerned.
Starfleet has been plucking people off of my ship like
we're some kind of galactic temp agency, and I'm sick of it.
Commander Dillon has been kind enough to lodge a formal protest
through the proper channels. And I fully expect to get a response
to this protest sometime around the twenty-eighth century.
Cynicism aside, there's an empty chair on my bridge that I
need to fill. I have someone in mind. Now, I just need to see if she's ready."
Ensign Andrea Carr ran out of her quarters at top
speed inducing a confused bark from her dog, Morgaine le Fur.
Ignoring her beloved pet, Carr raced towards the
shuttlebay.
"Computer, what time is it?" she asked as she ran.
"The time at the tone will be seven hundred hours and six
minutes...BEEP."
"Damn." She was supposed to have left the Secondprize six
minutes ago to pick up Admiral Cooper for his inspection tour
of the ship.
It took her two more minutes to get to the main shuttle
bay. She burst through the doors completely out of breath and
collapsed at the foot of a shuttle. Lieutenant Linda Kaplan,
the shuttlebay control officer, walked over to her prone body.
"Running a little behind, aren't we?" Kaplan said, giving
Carr a soft nudge with her boot. Carr rolled over
to look up at her.
"I...overslept. Are...they...mad?" Carr gasped,
trying to catch her breath.
"They don't know," Kaplan replied. "I told the bridge
your departure was delayed by a mechanical failure, but that
you'd be ready to go at anytime."
"I love you," Carr said thankfully, hugging Kaplan's
knees.
"That's nice, but I don't think my husband would approve,"
Kaplan said, helping Carr to her feet. "Now, your pre-
flight check is all done, so get out of here."
"I owe you big for this," Carr said.
"Just go before Dillon calls again to tell me how behind
schedule you are," Kaplan replied smiling. Carr ducked
into the shuttle and sat down at the control console.
"Shuttlecraft Consolationprize to bridge. I am ready for
departure."
"That's good to hear, Ensign," Commander Travis Dillon's
voice replied. "Your problems have put you ten minutes behind
schedule."
"Aye, sir. Clear me for departure, and I'll try to make
up the time on the way."
"You're clear. Dillon out." As always, the Secondprize's
first officer was charm incarnate.
"Opening shuttlebay doors," Kaplan's voice said. A moment
later, the giant grey barrier separating the shuttlebay from
the vacuum of space opened revealing the void beyond.
Carr lifted the shuttle up gracefully from the deck
and guided it out into the blackness.
Four hours later, Carr looked up from her padd as
the shuttle's proximity sensor flashed to life. She checked
the sensors. A vessel was approaching rapidly. Carr
reached over and activated the comm system.
"This is the Federation Vessel Consolationprize to
approaching ship. Please identify yourself."
"This is the U.S.S. Horizon. Prepare to receive Admiral
Cooper," the voice replied. Between Dillon and the Horizon, it
obviously wasn't a great day for conversation.
"Acknowledged, Horizon," Carr said as she watched
the Nebula class starship approach. "Energize when ready."
A moment later, she heard the whine of a transporter
behind her. The Horizon shot into warp as soon as transport
was complete. Carr turned to face the new arrival. He
was an older man, about sixty. His straight black hair was
starting to show streaks of grey.
"Coffee," he said, sitting down in the co-pilot's seat
beside Carr.
"The replicator is in the back, sir," Carr replied
as she set the shuttle on a course back to the Secondprize.
"Ensign...?"
"Andrea Carr, sir."
"Ah. Ensign Carr, you haven't quite grasped how
this works."
"Excuse me?" Carr said.
"You see, I am an Admiral. You are an Ensign. That means
when I say I want coffee, you go get me coffee. It's that
whole chain of command thing."
"Yes, sir," Carr said. She put the shuttle on
autopilot and went to the replicator in the back. For once,
Carr kind of wished that she had Dillon around. He'd
know whether Cooper really could order her to get him coffee.
In any case, he definitely hadn't made the best first
impression on her.
"Since you didn't bother to ask, I like it with cream and
lots of sugar," Cooper called from up front. He wasn't doing
anything to improve Carr's opinion of him. That was the
problem with being an ensign. They got all of the abuse.
Captain Rydell and Commander Dillon never had to fetch coffee
for people. Neither did Lieutenant Commander Jaroch or Lieutenant
Hawkins or Lieutenant Sullivan or...
"And I'd like it before we reach the Secondprize," Cooper
said, breaking into her thoughts.
"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir," Carr said. "Computer,
coffee cream, extra sugar."
"Please specify blend," the computer said.
"Any time now, Ensign," Cooper said, his voice getting
testy. Blend? Carr never drank coffee. How was she
supposed to know anything about blends.
"Uh...sir?" she said.
"Are you finding coffee too difficult? What kind of ship
is Rydell running over there?" Cooper said. He wasn't making
this any easier on her, but Carr was not about to let the
Secondprize look bad...or any worse than it already did. She
would just have to handle this herself. It was only coffee.
"What kinds do you have?" she asked the computer softly.
"Amaretto, Barrillo, Bonialia blossom..."
"Stop. Bonialia blossom sounds good. One cup of that
with cream and lots of sugar," Carr said. Bonialia
blossom had a nice sound to it. Bonialia. Good word.
The replicator materialized the coffee, and Carr
took it up to Admiral Cooper whispering bonialia as she walked.
"Thank you," Cooper said, taking the coffee. It was
obvious that he didn't mean it. He put the steaming mug to his
lips and drained it. He slammed the mug down on the control
console and turned to Carr with a huge smile on his face.
"Now that was a damn fine cup of coffee!" he said, then
fell backwards against the side viewport unconscious.
Carr screamed and hit the controls in surprise, sending
the shuttle into a nosedive. After she peeled herself off of
the viewport and stabilized the craft, she pulled Cooper into
the back and lay him down between some seats.
"Admiral? Admiral? Are you OK? Please wake up."
She got nothing in response other than soft, labored
breathing.
"Computer, can you tell what's wrong with Admiral Cooper?"
"Admiral Cooper is in a state of impaired mobility to due
his complete unconsciousness," the computer replied.
"No kidding. Why is he unconscious?" Carr asked,
irritated.
"The most likely reason is that Admiral Cooper drank an
entire cup of Bonialia blossom coffee."
"So."
"Bonialia blossom is highly poisonous to humans," the
computer said.
"You could have mentioned that earlier!" Carr
shouted. Oh great. She'd killed an admiral. This was
definitely not the best way to get promoted. "How long does he
have?"
"Without medical attention, most humans die within three
hours of ingesting Bonialia blossom."
"How did I know?" Carr muttered. It would take her
just about four hours to get back to the Secondprize. That was
one hour too long...unless she took a short cut. She had
looped around a sector that was the home of the Audrianis, since
they had a tendency to shoot at visitors and passers-by.
Unfortunately, she didn't have much choice if she was going to get
Cooper back in time.
Carr sat back down at the controls and changed
course. Hopefully, the Audrianis wouldn't notice one little
shuttle.
The door chime of Captain Alexander Rydell's ready room
sounded loudly, saving him from the reports he'd been forcing
himself to work on.
"Come in," Rydell said. Commander Dillon stepped into the
room. Dillon wasn't the most welcome guest in the world, but
at least he was better than the reports.
"All decks report that they are ready for the inspection,
sir," Dillon said.
"I hate inspections," Rydell said.
"They are a necessary part of the military structure,"
Dillon replied like he was reciting regulations.
"Oh yeah? Why?" Rydell demanded, standing up to confront
his first officer.
"Well...they...promote discipline," Dillon replied.
"Doubtful. Try again."
"Uh...they give admirals something to do?"
"Bingo! That's it exactly. They give admirals something
to do and waste our time." Rydell sank back down into his
chair. "Maybe something debilitating will happen to Admiral Cooper
on the way here."
"Not likely," Dillon replied. "He'll probably just be
cranky after a boring shuttle trip.
Carr banked hard to avoid the phaser blast lancing
toward the shuttle. She heard a dull thud as Admiral Cooper
rolled into the wall in the rear compartment.
"Sorry, sir," she called back to the unconscious admiral.
Her attention was quickly drawn back to the situation at hand
as the Audrianis fighter looped around and made another run at
her. Carr increased speed, racing straight toward the
other vessel, then pulling up just before the Audrianis ship
fired. Cooper fell toward the back of the shuttle, coming to a
bone-jarring halt as his body smashed into the rear bulkhead.
"I don't have time for this," Carr muttered as she
passed over the Audrianis fighter and kept going. On her
tactical monitor, she saw the fighter turning to pursue her.
Carr really wished that she'd taken a runabout on this
trip. Instead, she was in an unarmed, unshielded shuttle with
a maximum speed of warp two. Maybe she could talk her way out
of it. She reached over and activated the comm system.
"This is the Federation Shuttlecraft Consolationprize to
the Audrianis vessel. Please respond."
"What do you want, Federation trespasser?" an angry voice
replied.
"Well, safe passage would be nice," Carr said.
Another phaser barrage seared by the port side of the shuttle.
The fighter was gaining on her.
"No," the Audrianis said.
"I have a very sick man on board. If I don't get him to
medical attention soon, he will die."
"Then let us kill you so you can stop worrying about it."
"Your offer is tempting but no," Carr said.
"Suit yourself." Four more blasts flew by the shuttle.
This was getting ridiculous. Carr had to do something and fast.
Perhaps, the Audrianis would appreciate bonialia blossom.
She put the shuttle into another dive and reduced speed.
As Admiral Cooper rolled toward the front of the cabin, the
Audrianis ship flew over her. Carr leveled the shuttle off,
stopping Cooper's forward movement and placing herself right
behind the Audrianis ship.
"Consolationprize to Audrianis vessel. Surrender or die,"
Carr said.
"Yeah right. Shuttles aren't armed," the voice replied.
"You folks must be a little behind on your spying. Now,
surrender or face the wrath of the...bonialia blaster!"
"You're joking," the voice said. Carr hit the mute
button.
"Computer, increase power to the replicator by three
hundred percent." She opened the comm channel again. "I'm
powering it up now. Do you really think I'm joking?"
"Come on. That stuff makes great coffee, but a weapon?"
"Yes," Carr replied. "Now, power down your phaser
banks." The Audrianis ship suddenly banked right and made a
break for it. Carr took the opportunity to get the hell
out of there at top speed.
"Consolationprize to Secondprize. Request permission to
dock. Have an emergency medical team waiting for us."
"What?" Commander Dillon's voice replied.
"Open the damn door," Carr said. "Admiral Cooper is
dying."
"Permission granted," Dillon said quickly. The giant door
of the Secondprize's main shuttlebay rose slowly, revealing the
landing area. Carr steered the shuttle in and touched
down just as Dr. Aldridge rushed in followed by a couple of nurses
with an anti-grav stretcher. They gingerly lifted Cooper onto
the stretcher and raced off to sickbay. Lieutenant Kaplan
walked over to meet Carr as she disembarked from the
shuttle.
"Eventful trip?" Kaplan asked.
"I should have stayed in bed," Carr replied.
"What? And miss all the fun you obviously had?"
Back in her quarters a few hours later, Carr
received the call she had been dreading since arriving back on
the Secondprize.
"Rydell to Carr." Morgaine le Fur sat up and looked
around for the source of the voice.
"Carr here."
"Please report to my ready room."
"Aye, sir. Carr out." She sighed and got up from
her sofa. Her dog walked over and looked up at her
expectantly. "You can't go this time. I'll take you for a
walk as soon as I get back." She headed out of her quarters
toward her impending doom.
"Sit down, Ensign," Captain Rydell said as she entered the
ready room.
"Yes, sir." Rydell looked at his desk console in silence
for a few moments. Carr got even more nervous than she
had been when she entered. After about two minutes, she
couldn't take it anymore.
"Uh, sir?"
"Yes, Ensign."
"Is Admiral Cooper all right?"
"Let's see," Rydell said, his voice growing louder with
each word. "You poisoned him, then sent him bouncing around
the shuttle like a basketball!"
"Oh."
"I'm just playing. He's fine," Rydell said, a smile
breaking across his face.
"Thank goodness."
"In fact, when he regained consciousness, all he did was
rave about that damn fine coffee you served him. He was so
overwhelmed that he's decided to forgo the inspection and just
say that we passed."
"Really?" Carr said. Maybe her Starfleet career
wasn't quite over yet.
"I just have one question," Rydell said, his voice turning
serious again. "Now that the Audrianis think we have a coffee
weapon, will they be developing a doughnut weapon to soak up
our coffee."
"Excuse me?"
"Once they develop doughnuts, we'll have to move up to
coffee cake. Then, they'll strike back with danish. My god
woman, can breakfast cereals be far behind! Don't you see what
you've done? You've started an all-out breakfast weapons
race!" Rydell shouted.
"You're playing with me again, aren't you sir?" Carr
said.
"You got it," Rydell said. "Dismissed." Relieved,
Carr stood up to leave.
"Oh, Ensign," Rydell said, stopping her exit.
"Yes, sir?"
"How do you like your position?"
"It's fine," Carr said, not sure what the captain
was getting at. "Ferrying people and cargo gets old
occasionally, but..."
"How would you like a change of scenery?" Rydell asked.
She wasn't going to get off after all. He was going to send
her to a penal colony.
"Like where?" she asked, bracing herself.
"Oh, say maybe...the bridge."
"The bridge?" she repeated in disbelief.
"Well, we're kind of short of an operations officer right
now, but if you don't want the job..."
"I want it," Carr said quickly, running over to hug
Rydell. A bridge position! Now, this was a step up. "Thank
you, sir."
"Don't thank me. You earned it, Carr," Rydell said.
"But there's one little thing you have to do first."
"Anything! Anything!"
"Admiral Cooper has asked that you be the one to transport
him to the Starship Truman. And he wants lots more of that
damn fine coffee."
"Is that an order?" Carr asked.
"I'm afraid so," Rydell replied.
"Yes, sir." Carr sighed and left the ready room.
She looked at the ops chair as she stepped into the bridge.
All that stood between her and it was one raving coffee-fiend.
Maybe she could find a blend that would just knock Cooper out
and not poison him. Of course, it probably wouldn't have as
poetic a name as Bonialia blossom.
And Next Time on STAR TRAKS:
A bizarre accident causes a shuttle containing Commander
Travis Dillon to vanish without a trace. After fruitless searching,
the Secondprize continues on to Waystation, where they are
scheduled to spend Christman. Dillon isn't dead; though, he's
trapped alone on an uninhabited world...well, uninhabited except
for a few hungry lifeforms.
Star Traks: Alone on Christmas