While preparing for her role as a stripper in the upcoming film, I Know Who Killed Me, Lindsay Lohan somehow managed to get covered in bruises. Page Six reports:

An e-mail she sent to pals last week has the subject title: “They’re all whores, they’re all whores . . . xcept for some obviously!” Lohan wrote in the note, “So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we’re talkin’ like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark. I mean really though, really, I didn’t know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the cunts now. . . I’m not gonna lie to ya.”

Her representative, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, says:

She’s been in rehearsals for the film and has been taking classes from Sheila Kelly. Her character is a stripper, and she now realizes that the job isn’t easy. We should give these women credit.”

I seriously wonder what kind of industrial strength dinosaur tranquilizer Zelnik has to take to fall asleep at night because of Lindsay’s rambling drunk ass. Zelnik isn’t a publicist anymore, she’s The Man with the Yellow Hat. But instead of shaking her head because her cute little monkey stole some balloons at a picnic, she has night sweats because Lindsay can only seem to figure out how to use a Blackberry when she’s high.