That Funny Email? No One’s Laughing

In my emails, I often feel I am being wry — a wit, utterly urbane, a hobgoblin of humor, a mammal of mirth. And while I am certain that my recipients are aware of my having both an internally regulated body temperature and live birth, this is, I have learned, as far as I can assume.

Thus the case study below, a cringe-worthy exchange resulting from my attempt to respond to my friend’s witty email with a hilarious missive of my own:

From: Nick

Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 5:49 PM

To: David

Subject: babysitter

David,

Howdy. I don’t know of anyone. My mom doesn’t know of anyone. So I put out a request to her good friend Hunt who is from Springfield who put out the request to his folks who are long-time Springfielders. They might be able to track someone down. Will keep you posted. He sounded confident.

n.

From: David

Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 5:51 PM

To: Nick

Subject: RE: babysitter

hunt? howdy? eh? what?

From: Nick

Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 5:52 PM

To: David

Subject: RE: babysitter

That’s the friend.

That’s fake cowboy speak.

That’s me trying to find you guys a babysitter in Springfield.

From: David

Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 5:59 PM

To: Nick

Subject: RE: babysitter

so confusing. i need a decoder ring.

From: Nick

Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 6:09 PM

To: David

Subject: RE: babysitter

I was trying to be funny. It’s hard to be funny over email. Bottom line is I have someone looking for a babysitter for you.

From: David

Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 6:12 PM

To: Nick

Subject: RE: babysitter

as was i also trying to be funny in a wry sardonic way.

alas, i merely appeared a dullard.

such is life.

[The rest of this email chain has been removed to protect me from further embarrassment.]

Looking at this email in the cold light of blog composition, I realize that my un-capitalized text could have meant what I wanted it to mean: decoder ring, boy detective, reminds me of that Venture Brothers episode I liked so much, and funny, hahaha. Or, it could have been read as, “Look you dolt, I don’t have any idea what you’re saying so I’m going to say, snidely, that to read your emails requires some sort of advanced, handheld code-breaking device.”

Worse, my mistake was compounded like a wedge of butter in a can of Crisco under a truckload of bison by assuming that my reader was laughing when, in quite the opposite, he was trying to gently apologize for my inability to grasp his ironic stance.

Of course, I could have resorted to the smiley face: “:-)” That would have worked. But it can also appear sophomoric — or even doubly insulting, causing the reader to think I’m really telling him off.

Another approach might have been to add context. It may blunt the humor, but I could have said, “And now me trying to be funny: I need a magic decoder ring to make sense of what you’re saying.” Ha…ha?

Luckily, Nick is a friend. He wasn’t insulted, just confused. If he had been a more remotely related business connection, I might just have gotten myself unfriended on LinkedIn — and could certainly have reduced his respect for me.

In business, anything not explicitly written (as a friend of mine once told me after reviewing my documentation of a meeting’s minutes) does not exist. An interoffice communication is not The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, and there should not be room for disagreement about what it means.

In the future, I might be better served to reserve the humor for a phone call or in person. That way, when there’s stunned silence on the other end of the line or on the far side of the conference table, I could say, “I think you may not realize how funny I consider myself to be, and, given that, I believe I will stop now.”