What is it with ex’s that make them insanely follow your life as much as possible? Years after being apart! With our without kids! WTF?

I have two ex-wives, both of which are PTSD related to some degree. My first, never stalked me around online to my knowledge. She had no interest. We had a son together. She had child support and such via the appropriate agency. She just never seemed interested in stalking me around, whether trying to hurt me with words or actions, child support, or other. To me, it says a lot about her personality being of sound nature.

My second ex-wife. Argh! We have two sons. I used to visit them four times a year. She used that against me with child support, claiming she should be getting more money because I could visit our kids for 10 – 14 days, four times a year. She won. So I paid more and visited less.

She continued. Using the money needed to visit the kids now two times a year, as reason to be paid more money. She won again. She then sat back on her high and mighty chair, once I just gave up and cut off all contact with her and my kids, that I was a terrible father. Well, considering I was the primary care giver — lets just say, that isn’t the case. I also didn’t physically abuse her as she did me. But hey — welfare systems are there for the woman, regardless. Meant to be there for the kids, but that just isn’t the case.

So after having cut off all contact, no longer able to afford regular trips to see my kids, further blame that its all my fault, blah… she kind of backed off for a couple of years. I expect she continued stalking me online, as that had been her MO the entire time — using whatever she could gather online to hurt me one way or another.

It was a pleasant couple of years. Child support had worked out what I was to pay, she is paid every month via automatic deduction through child support (I just want nothing to do with her AT ALL – PSYCHO), then BAM… more child support claims the other month.

Let alone all the nonsense in the past where she even tried bringing in my now wife’s finances (which have nothing to do with her or my kids), she tried to claim more money from me. Because I make a website, try and do some work, get back into something, anything, for sanity — she uses it and tries to claim money from me. Reassess him, she claims. He is hiding money from me. Blah blah blah. Screenshots and such. Funny, yet annoying at the same time that she is still hung-up on what I am doing in my life.

Honestly, I think she is just a sad person.

The only thing that had me slightly worried, is that child support had always just given her the benefit of doubt. Alas, there is a God. I won, she lost. No evidence to substantiate her claims. It felt good to win against her nonsense. It felt good that even child support aren’t believing her nonsensical claims any more.

If she wants nothing to do with me, why continue stalking my life online to see what’s going on in it? Seriously? If I earn money it goes on my tax return, thus child support knows about it and is then factored into any such payments. The cyber stalking is just creepy, to say the least.

If you’re reading this — you’re being creepy. Let it go and get on with your life.

I just don’t understand why ex’s hold onto relationships that require them to stalk another around the www to see whats happening in their life, if theres a possibility for some more dollars, just interest, or other. Why not just get on with life? Why not just enjoy your new relationship? She has a child with her new partner, who is a nice guy. I know him from the Army. Really nice guy who I suspect is now banging his head against a wall taking her crazy shit. If I was him, I would be spending as much time at work and away as I could get.

What level of crazy are people at nowadays? Since leaving her, I’ve not once looked at a single thing about her. I only knew she has another child from child support documents sent through to me via more of her crazy claims for attention and stalking. Wouldn’t have known, wouldn’t have cared. Still don’t care. She has destroyed both boys lives IMO. I have PTSD, no doubt about it. Well managed though. She has some mental health issue that she’s in total denial about, and she has screwed up both boys.

She keeps trying to affect me so my PTSD screws with me. Fortunately for me, I’m beyond her reach and claims nowadays. She did this to me initially so I would leave my boys… and it worked then. But she lost all her power in that transaction, and now is just a sad little person in my eyes.

To give an idea of her craziness.

After I left she went doctor shopping to diagnose our eldest with Autism. She taught him the behaviours. Yes, he displayed very mild symptoms of it. I spoke with the same therapists when on a visit. They encouraged me to not encourage negative behaviours. He would be with me and my now wife for a couple of weeks, and be completely better with negative behaviours when he went back to her. She would then reintroduce him to everything again, claiming it made him feel better.

Doctor shopping! She lives two states away from where she first went after separation. She tried to claim in her latest documents for more money that she must return to that location for the boys treatment. What? They don’t have therapists in a capital city she resides now? She has to return to this little country town therapist who she doctor shopped that supported her beliefs? I call bullshit.

What’s worse, our youngest was so vibrant, full of energy and such a dear thing. She dragged him down too, based on recent child support documents sent to me with her claims. She is making both boys sick in order to claim extra benefits. She is sick. Really sick. She needs mental health treatment, yet fails to do it. She started when she was with me, and stopped after a session or two.

The funny thing is she is likely reading this at some point, going crazy and claiming lies. The beauty of it all, I have all the child support documents she wrote, all her claims, waiting for the day that if my boys decide to get in contact with me, I will drop them in front of them if they want the reasons why, showing them exactly what their mother did and the reason why I missed their growing up. To me, that is not something I want to do, but if they’re adults and want to know the truth, I will show them. I have it all in writing from her, all these years later, just incase. She knew exactly what buttons to push then to make me super ill from PTSD. Now… her shit has no leverage, other than amusement and I find her a sad, spiteful, hateful, little person.

Ex’s need to stop the nonsense. Get on with life. If this is you, move on with your life. Don’t punish a former partner, especially if you have kids with them, to drive them away and make life harder. Its just nonsense. Why live like that? Why be that type of person? Does it really make you happy? What about the kids?

She may still ponder why I left her. I have PTSD which introduces some headaches, sure, but she is just crazy nuts, abusive, and allowed to destroy two kids lives. WTF? Systems are broken people. I’ve had my moments, but straight-up crazy exists, and my ex-wife is super nuts. Worse, I was ill at that time, let it all go on, and had two kids with her that she now damages. Argh!

Anyone who knows me from my main site, MyPTSD.com, may be wondering why I’m talking PTSD / CPTSD here, on a personal blog, instead of there, the largest PTSD community in the world.

Well… that last part is part of the reason. MyPTSD has grown so large, I honestly feel it’s gotten away from my original purpose — to bring people together and help one another beat PTSD and live a better life. Most members have little true knowledge of the science behind PTSD, the science and technique behind therapy types. Its basically an overwhelming demand nowadays that is impossible to meet.

Some of the more challenging members, I honestly appreciate the most. I applaud those that are willing to give advice based on what is presented. Based on education, experience and broad knowledge, add common-sense for the best outcome. I don’t mean people who just challenge things for the sake of it, I mean those who can read a post, then aren’t afraid to challenge the poster based on that education. Yes, those just being difficult for the sake of it don’t last long. I have admiration for those few members who take the time to educate others and challenge skewed logic.

Another part, I’m tired of listening to those who just want the easy answer. The easy solution. Wave your magic wand and get me from point A to point B, and do it now. Oh, and while you’re at it, make all my pain and torment disappear. It takes hard work, effort, dedication, determination, to implement real and impactful change within your life. It is harder to heal than it often is to endure the trauma itself — and that’s saying something due to the horrific trauma that occurs to cause PTSD.

Then the whiners, trolls, politically correct and so on. Argh. I love a good opinion. I don’t like it when that opinion is consistently tossed around and used as though fact. I don’t care if you think everyone should be diagnosed with PTSD regardless the type of trauma. When experts change a diagnosis to reflect that logic, then that will be fact. Otherwise, shut the f*ck up and grab onto the reality of, now.

There are a whole bunch of things that piss me off about it nowadays. I will just leave it at that. So here I am. A blog, where I control the content and can moderate the noise. No more freedom of speech bullshit from self-entitled people. Here, noise will simply never see the light of day.

I figure its easier to just get on with things this way, my way, not having to answer to anyone else. I like it so much better already. 🙂