We all receive tons of email forwards. I've been receiving them since 1997. So much so, that I have received some of them several scores of times, although I do not have hard data to back up that claim. Hence this blog.

Well, alright...not everything here was received as a forward. Some are gems that I have painstakingly collected over time

Friday, September 10, 2004

A smart Japanese child joined a new primary school when her family moved to the United States. Her first American class was on world historical events!! The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History:"

Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had her hand up."Patrick Henry,1775." She said.

"Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'"Again, no response except from Suzuki."Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.

She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Japs.""Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki put her hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke [vomit]" The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?" Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush [Sr.] to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Suzuki jumps out of her chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "[California Congressman] Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."

The teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're f**ked!"Suzuki said, "Americans,... in Iraq 2004!"