Thanks For Not Choosing Me

I am always this woman whom Men find me attractive then somehow they approach me, and suddenly they want to go all serious with me, and I don’t know how many of them did approach me, may be five men who suddenly went all serious, but at the end it was always just a one month kind of thing. It’s either I don’t find their life interesting, or they just finally decided to break my heart.

Like maybe three men (a doctor, an advertiser and a lecturer) finally found another woman, married them and had a baby with them. Then they started posting pictures of their newborn babies in social media, pictures of babies with their pink faces and their tongue coming out while they are sleeping and small hands fisted. And in a snap I knew that I am thankful that I left them because it was not what I wanted.

These men, in just two years were able to find a woman who was ready to get married and bear their babies. And in my mind: “would I ever want to bear their babies?” and the answer was: “No.”

There is some sort of relief that I did not have their babies.

When I was in a brief relationship with these men, we talked about life and our lifestyles, and what we wanted our future like, then it was finally revealed that we just don’t fit. But I just could not believe my eyes when were finally done they found someone to get married with in just a snap.

You know what, what ever happened, I am so glad I did not end up marrying them and having their babies.

Maybe I am not the kind of person that will settle for anything less. And just then I knew I deserve something more, I am not cut out in the moment to be domesticated.

My heart, mind, body and soul wanted to see more, like there is this will that wants me to go out and not settle for someone with a boring life and bear their babies.