So, with the year coming to an end, I would like to give a moment's thought to what I have been experiencing. But then again, maybe not since its all very boring. But there are some memorable events, this much I can say:

1. A very scary GE (right outside our house!)
2. Met a lot of on-line friends face to face for the first time
3. My job went South once I am tasked to other areas.
4. Took me two years to get the second product out which I only designed within weeks. Yeah, the same excuse: Money no' enuf
5. Attended a few Star Trek events and for the first time, I was actually being photographed rather than doing the photographing
6. My Job is going really, really South (almost beyond the South Pole)
7. One product is in KIV limbo because of some design which depended on LEDs that suddenly went obsolete. I can redesign but this would also mean more cost and worse, extreme soldering. I can't believe I used so much money developing this.

I have some discussions with my Wife and sad to say, I have problem with Focus, which I first thought was signs of dementia. With so many things going in my mind as a parent and also trying to make sure food comes to the table, I can say this that at the end of the day, I am exhausted, battle-worn and now, most of my daily life is filled with apathy and trying to keep to the so-called SOP.

I have tried and failed but I still want to continue. To be honest, I feel that time is really not on my side anymore and I do not want to wait until I have legally retired. But at the risk of jeopardising the family, I need to re-think on my strategy of starting my own business catering to the Hobby Community.

Because at the end of the day, the food on the table could either be a roast chicken or a pack of sweets.

Secondly, the way I see things, I am always in the middle of the "Do this first to get to that stage to get that item before coming back to this stage, etc." process. To a lot of people, a simple case of walking to the Library is just well, a walk to the Library. But to me, I get so worried and had to think out the possibilities of things that can happen (they usually do) during my walk to the LIbrary.

eg. I can't wear my shoes because the socks were wet from last night's rain. Then I am sure the Librarian would know me and ask for the book I borrowed which my friend has taken it to her place and won't be back till Friday. And then if I can sprint fast enough, I can make it to the Newsagent and get something while still on track to the Library Schedule... and so on. And then there is this thing and that thing and the other thing.... And I end up designing a new design while thinking about circuits.

(It sounds like an Adventure game but just no Ending and things went off-tangent in the end)

Man, what a screwed up life. Because at the end of the day, nothing gets done from me since most of them are tangled up with other events which I depend on.

But anyway, I see the coming year, just like two years ago, as a make or break year for me. All I need is just something to keep the family running and the bills paid every month, and then some of my problems are solved and I can go on with my plans.

If you met me and I seem disjointed or my train of though seemed Hyper-spaceing, that's just me. Thinking.

Anyway, I am too exhausted come this Eve and so, here's me wishing you a Great 2014 and have a great one!