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Thursday, May 31, 2012

If I were a bettin' girl (which I'm not really), instead of throwing all my money on red & lettin' it ride (I hope that is the appropriate gambling reference -- Faith Hill taught me just about all I know about gambling), I would place it on my little lady rolling over within the next week!

So upon being laid on her tummy, immediately her right back leg shoots up like a flag and then starts dipping up and down like a bobber with a fish on the line. We've gotten to about 90% rolled over, but her left arm obviously wasn't invited to the party and is having a hard time going along with the fun. Her head will be practically looking at the ceiling, her right leg in a wrestling match with her left over who can be closer to the floor and her tummy fully off the ground, but that darned chubby arm is just getting in the way!

Being that she doesn't quite have a master-slave relationship with her extremities yet, she starts to get extremely pissed off that her arm isn't working with her. And when she lands back down on the mat with her face in the dirt, she is thoroughly frustrated and it's over. She's pissed. And when sister is pissed, she forgets that her mama wants her to roll over and just puts her face down and screams into the floor.

She'll be four months next week, so it would be a wonderful accomplishment if we can get her rolling her way into her fifth month (bahah! I crack myself up!).

In other news, last night was her first night in her crib. Mommy had twinges of sadness. I fed her in our bed. She fell asleep and I just did a little Mama-swayin' to get her completely sleeping in my arms. I gently laid her in her crib and she awoke for a moment. I stood next to her, shushing and she went back to sleep. Now the wild lady only slept by herself for an hour -- but I figured it was a start.

And being that this weekend is a girls' weekend (E is traveling to his college reunion), we are totally having a slumber party each and every night! So we will resume the initial crib sleeping on Sunday night when Daddy comes back home. I'm wondering what us girls are going to do with ourselves for our first just girls' weekend. Check back early next week as I'm going to make sure to do some serious documentation this weekend!

(In looking at all the photos in this post, I love that she is really working those eyebrows. It's almost as if the eyebrows must be touching the ceiling in order for her to lift her head so high. Unfortunately, I think that she gets that from me -- every time I look in the mirror, I have wrinkles on my forehead because my eyebrows are up in a look of surprise even though there was no surprise.)

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

All hail the Queen! The Queen of Sheba! I have a couple of photos from when I was teeny with my clothes on my head. My mom used to call me the Queen of Sheba. I think I have passed the torch down to my little. She appears to be much more of a lady than I ever was -- she at least covers up her boobies, I just let mine all hang out.

Mommy when she used to be Queen

This weekend, we introduced Finn to the hammock. She wasn't immediately sure if she liked it or not. But that is something that is her nature. She will crank for the first 5 seconds until she realizes that being put in the Mamaroo isn't as bad as she initially thought. Or she will fuss when I put her in the Kickin' Coaster (a new purchase that she loves -- later post on that one) but once she starts to kickin', she sees that it's pretty great. So of course, initially, she was saying "Get me the hell out of this contraption!"

But after a couple of sways from side to side, she was thinking that this thing called a hammock isn't that bad. Initially, E got in the hammock with her. I was petrified that they were going to take a tumble over backwards. There was a lot of close calls with the ground as he was trying to settle himself in the middle. And there was one time where I thought it was over and I was going to see feet in the air and hear a screaming baby, but he saved it. And she liked swinging under the canopy of leaves dancing in the breeze.

I have a rose bush that grows right next to the steps on our patio. She is blooming like a mo'fo right now. And they are beautiful blooms and the smell is delicious! I don't normally like to pick my roses. They just die in a vase inside the house. Instead, each time that I walk in or out of my house, I get a whiff of beauty. It's nice when you are rushing out of the house because you are late -- it's almost like an unconscious relaxant. Or when you come home from a long day at work and step up on the patio, taking a deep breath in, the rose announcing your arrival, feeling the warmth of coming home. I prefer that 1000 times over.

Well, we haven't had a lot of rain as of late and the first bloom of the season (and the biggest one currently) had fallen over due to its weight on its delicate stem. I thought it the perfect opportunity to pick the rose and not feel guilty as I wouldn't have to watch it die on the vine. AND I would get to have a couple of delightful memories of my pretty lady.

And that hand is a constant in her mouth as of late. She is never without her trusty hand. She has only found her thumb a few times, most of the time it's simply whatever fingers taste the best at the time. She also have a new habit of needing Lambchop when she is feeling sleeping. Lambchop is the little lamb from her headdress. Once she has little Lambchop, she is out within minutes. Lambchop nuzzled up against her chin and cheek, held up there with two chubby hands.

E worked a lot this weekend (grant season, you know) -- so it was just me and her. The weather was a little hot, so we just snuggled for the majority of the weekend in the air conditioning. I'm trying to enjoy all these snuggles, because in a matter of months, Finn is going to be on the move and then the only snuggles I'll get are during nap time. If she is anything like her father, she will be on the go constantly. She is the best excuse to be lazy.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Please forgive the white balance -- it was set incorrectly on my camera,

but this photo was just too much. I had to post it!

When I'm at work thinking about how fabulous it would be to be a stay-at-home mom, the first thing that pops into my head is "Mornings! Yeah for sleepy mornings!!!" I'm sure the first thing that popped in your head was "Aaaah, she wants to be a SAHM so she can sleep in with Finn." In that, you would be wrong. I would still rise early -- just to watch my little lady wake up.

She has this stretching routine that lasts, I'm not joking when I say this, at least 3-4 minutes. And the first pose is the photo at the top of the post, which I like to call "morning warrior I". Her little pudgy arms fling straight above her head and her even pudgier legs are drawn into her chest. Her back arches off the bed and the pose is held for 5 seconds. Then her legs are flung (and yes, FLUNG is the appropriate word) the opposite way, straight as a board. Her back pushes into the bed, all while having her arms straight above her head -- see "morning warrior II". There is also a variation known as "morning warrior III", which she flings her legs & her arms straight down. I always imagine that if I were to interrupt her morning salutation at this point, I would be able to lift her by her leg and she would maintain her stiffness. (Of course, I'll never do this, silly. I wouldn't IMAGINE interrupting the sacredness of her routine.)

Her faces contort with every stretch as well. Her lips purse out and flatten, like she is going to be giving a huge, sloppy kiss to a frog. Her chin tries to push past her back, making her double chin pop out. And when she is in morning warrior II or III , her chin goes up, her neck elongates and her eyebrows shoot up to the sky.

After we finish up with the stretching, I sidle up next to my little girl and she has her breakfast. Once she is halfway finished with her breakfast, the stage curtains raise up and sister is the star of a play. It starts with her simply looking up at me and smiling while nursing. Then I know the show is about to start!

Smiles are thrown around like confetti, each as different as the various colors of the little squares thrown in the air and fluttering beautifully out of vision only to have another quickly take its place. It's that toothless smile that gets me every time. She smiles so big that the gums come out -- that's when we know that sister means some serious business! The little corners of her eyes crinkle into tiny little crow's feet. When I was young, that was my staple of telling a real smile from a fake one, like the time I ran into a very attractive member of the opposing basketball team (his smile was true because the "corner of his eyes crinkled!"). Sister is full of realness in the morning!

And oh, the chatter that takes place in that golden hour... Each morning, her monologue is different, telling me of the amazing dreams that she had last night during her peaceful slumber next to Mama. She laughs at my jokes that I tell her in her own special language. She tells me things that she forgot to tell me from the day before, tattling on Munky & Bishop for bad things they did while I was at work. And I like to think that every morning during those conversations, she tells me that she loves me.

And as we know that while monologues can show versatility and range, it's the actions that make the performance ah-mazing! Sister has the moves of Michael Jackson (without the crotch-grabbing, of course). She dances away to an unknown melody playing in her mind. All the excitement in her body not being able to be contained that it oozes out of her legs and arms. She dances at sunrise to welcome the day. Sister is excited for the day!

During the week, my alarm goes off 30 minutes early. I rush around to get ready, feeding the dogs & cats, showering & blow drying my hair. In the back of my mind, I know that the earlier I can get done with my chores of the morning, the longer I have with my little Irish step dancer. These are the reasons why I live for the weekend. So these special moments are not rushed and crammed into 30 minutes. When you have the decision between 30 minutes of something precious or 60 minutes, what kind of a crazy person would ever chose 30 minutes?

When I was younger, I used to be a morning person. I used to rise with the sun to watch cartoons; later in life -- to complete my morning run; just before little lady arrived -- to just sit in a quiet house with a nice, hot cup of coffee. (Let's not even discuss what time I would get up on Christmas morning. I would tear open presents in the dark on Christmas morning if my parents would've let me.) There were periods in-between that mornings are not my cup of tea, when the nightlife took top billing. I now look forward to mornings again. On weekend mornings, when the little and I can slip downstairs without waking daddy and have some wonderful moments, listening to the birds announce the sun's arrival. I'm cradling her warm little body, breathing in her littleness, searing into my mind the smell, the feel, and the sounds of her.

I have been truly blessed to have such a cherished little soul that makes every day a finger-snapping, skipping kind of day.

Monday, May 21, 2012

My baby has officially pudged out! And I love it! E and I have both been noticing when we put her in her car seat and lift it, it seems really heavy. The photos don't lie (and yes, the bear are exactly the same size, I had to do some cropping and resizing so I KNOW they are exactly the same size) -- Little Miss is getting chubby, which makes me so very excited. It means that I'm doing something right! I think that it's amazing that my body is sustaining that little one, even after birth.

And let her tell you another thing, because sister knows how to chat with you. She is jabbering up a storm and she'll tell you how it is.

Our weekend was wonderful. I accomplished so much this past weekend that it almost felt like I didn't have a baby! Okay, almost, but not quite -- my list wasn't completely finished.

We started out Saturday by going to breakfast as is our usual. It was there that we realized I actual gave birth to Finn the Fierce, a Irish Viking. Okay, I know that there isn't such a thing as an Irish Viking. But Sister seriously knows how to rock a lamb headdress!

While we were eating our bacon and eggs, she was dreaming of herding sheep and plundering villages.

I love this photo because her cheeks are so chubby. When I told E that, he responded with "Those are Mom's cheeks." I'll totally claim those suckers!

No lambs were harmed in the taking of these photos! I'm sure she was actually dreaming about that little lamb, though. The lamb has a fuzzy back and it's tummy is smooth satin. The lamb is quickly becoming a favorite. When she isn't sucking on her bib, watch out, lamb! Because we've enter into the stage of putting everything in our mouths. That lamb has received too many Finn kisses to count!

Finn also let out her inner Minnie Pearl this weekend. While Momma was sewing up the last of the outdoor cushions, Minnie Finnie napped in her Mamaroo and we went outside for a little bit. Hence the hat. Only Mom didn't realize that it was inside out until we got outside and E started laughing at us. Don't ask me how I didn't mess the ginormous flag on the top of her head.

I've also decided that I need to invest in some sunhats. I have plenty for when she gets older, but don't have any that fit her little noggin. And as the summer heats up, little lady isn't going to want to wear a stocking cap as she is a little sweat box without an extra layer on her head!

We also spent some time outside on Sunday, watching Daddy spread out some mulch. It was the first time that sister put her little bare feet in the grass. She wasn't too sure. I sat down with the baby bjorn on and she danced in the grass. Lady danced like no one was watching. It makes me very excited for our dance parties when she gets older.

And I have to say that I didn't think my baby could have gotten any cuter. But put a hat on it and it instantly becomes cuter!!!!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

A nice hot cup of Au Bon Pain coffee and a baby! What a great work day!

SaraBeth had an appointment on main campus today. So she dropped off Finn with me and we were able to spend part of the morning together. Everyone that stopped by thought she was the cutest thing. Of course, I'm sure that even if they didn't think she was cute, they would have told me that anyways. But I have to say that she is the darnest cutest baby EVAH'!!! I mean, just look at this....

Lady was even taking some calls to give Mommy a break!

It was really neat to see that with every new person that would stop by and peer into her carseat, she would give them a big smile and start to jabber. She only fuss a little bit because sister didn't have a great nap this morning and she was tired. Her eyes would droop, but Finn refused to fall asleep because she was afraid that she was going to miss something!

A lot of people are now starting to say that she is beginning to look like me, even my neighbors commented on it a couple of nights ago. When she was brand new, not a single person said that she looked like me. All comments were about how much she looked like E. One of the doctors that I work with stated that all babies start out looking like their fathers, so that the said man would take care of the baby because the baby's mother is a certainty. Research tends to disagree. I hate to admit it, but I'm very excited that people are seeing my resemblance. I'm biased, but I think that I was a pretty damn cute kid.

Even sleeping, the girl with the lashes makes bubbles...

SaraBeth, Finn, and I were able to go to lunch. It was so wonderful to have her for a couple of hours during the day. But it was hard saying good-bye. When I finished feeding her, I lifted her up immediately, putting her in her carseat, stating that if I waited, I wouldn't put her in the seat for another 30 minutes. I told SaraBeth as they were going to leave -- "Just rip the band-aid off." She got the hint and wheeled the carseat around, saying "See you later!" Now the afternoon seems to be dragging after such a pleasant morning.

For the record, the high pitched noise right before her sneezing is her.

You can see that she startled herself.

So I have finished my first unofficial work week -- I started working in the middle of the week and considered Wednesday the unofficial first work week. To say that it's hard to return to work is an understatement. Everyone has told me that it will get easier, but I just don't see how that is possible. I'm sure there are going to be days that I'm going to be glad to go to work, i.e. Finn is taking after her daddy and being a complete bear (jk, Murphy -- love you anyways!). But my main reasons for being sad about going to work aren't going to go away.

I don't want her to grow AT ALL while I'm at work. I don't want her to reach any milestone of any sort without me being there to witness it first. I personally don't think that I'm going to be a helicopter mama. It's just that the first time is always the most special time. She just has to do it once for me and then she can do it a million times for everyone else without me there.

And I'm also not very happy with my work schedule. I leave the house in the morning at 7:15am and don't get home until 5:45pm. I waste an hour and half each day commuting back and forth the 14 miles between main campus and my home because my work day is 8-5, which is the majority of the employees at both the Cleveland Clinic and also University Hospitals, which means heavy traffic.

But despite my loathing work each morning, we are settling into a routine and I'm trying to enjoy every moment home with her. In fact, I'm even considering starting up my exercise routine! I have 10 pounds left until I'm at my fightin' weight and I'm determined to NOT let it take the 9 months that everyone says that it takes to lose the baby weight.

And being that we have settled into a routine, I'm able to now get the camera out again. I hadn't taken photos of her in about 4-5 days. I took her 12 week photos on Thursday and didn't get the camera out again until yesterday morning. But I'm sure that she didn't mind the reprieve in "the little black box" as I like to call my camera and my phone. She could be laughing hysterically, but the minute that "little black box" goes up, her smile goes down. Lady better get used to it, because it isn't going away... :)

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Yes, yes -- a daddy post on Mother's Day, but it makes this Mama smile.

Question: What happens the first time that a new daddy is left alone with his baby daughter for more than two hours?

Answer: She becomes a badass!

At least, that's what happened in our case. Last Saturday afternoon, I went to a "Derby" party at one of my friend's place. That left E alone with Finn for about four hours. All day, he kept saying, "We (Finn & I) have big plans this afternoon. Big plans..." My thought was that he was teasing me.

Imagine my surprise when I get a picture text from him of my naked baby. I was driving, so I couldn't study the photo long initially, but I saw that she was laying face down on our red velvet sofa, naked as a jaybird and there was something black that looked like a mustache above her butt crack. I instantly started laughing and told my friend that I couldn't look anymore until we were safely stopped for fear of causing a crash.

I wasn't away from the house for more than 30 minutes and the girl had already went out and got her first two tattoos! She had a "tramp stamp" and an arm band, just like her daddy (and no, E doesn't have a tramp stamp).

So when I got home, we had to do a father-daughter photo shoot in honor of her first "tat". Little girl definitely knows how to rock some ink!

Before you know it, she is going to be coming home with a spiked leather punk jacket and dating a boy named Slasher.

And before any of you start dialing DFS, the tattoos are fake (of course) and they easily came off with baby oil. Her beautiful skin was not permanently marred in any way.

With Finn's strengthening neck muscles, we were able to "Bumbo" for a little bit recently. We still get the wobbles every once in a while.

But the little girl is getting way too big for her breeches! At least for this mama's tastes! Speaking of Mama's, poor little Finna has been without her Mamaroo for the past four days! The cats had jarred the power cord and one of the metal plugs came off. We bought a generic replacement power cord, but we think that the base may have shorted out. It's driving this mama insane!! So I have ordered replacement parts that should arrive by Wednesday and all will be right in the Murphy household again. Finn & I miss the sounds of the ocean rolling in while making dinner in the kitchen!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

My wild lady is 12 weeks old today. Holy crap! I returned to work yesterday and I think that going to work each day is going to be a struggle as I didn't want to leave her this morning either. The scales are seriously tipped -- stay at home with my lovely and get wonderful hugs and smiles OR go to work and deal with crazy people on both ends of the spectrum. It really makes me like my job less.

At twelve weeks old:

---Doing our very unscientific weighing, Finn is weighing in at 12-12.5 pounds today (depending on who is holding her on the scale)! She has gained over a 1 pound in the last month, which doesn't seem like that much. We also unscientifically measured her and she was 24 inches long.

---At her last appointment at the doctor two weeks ago, she weighed in at 11.3 pounds (right at the 50th percentile and was 23.5 inches long (80th percentile).

---She had been eating like a mo'fo the past week or so and we were figuring that she was having her three month growth spurt. Looks like we were right if our measurements are accurate.

---She is still sleeping with us, which I personally feel is wonderful! Last night, she slept from 9:30pm -- roughly 2:45am. And then I think that she slept again until about 4-5am. The only way that I remember that she woke up is if I wake up on the opposite side that I fell asleep. This weekend we are going to begin putting her in her crib to start the evening. The plan is to get her to sleep, place her in her crib, and when she wakes up to eat, move her to our bed. The hope is that she will eventually sleep through the night, weaning herself from sleeping with us -- not me, telling her that she needs to sleep in her own bed.

---She now recognizes me and greets me with a smile and a coo when I've left the room or come home from work.

---She is mesmerized with the TV. We don't put her in front of the television but in putting her down on the sofa or the floor, she will turn to the television and watch.

---She still won't nap longer than 5-10 minutes during the day unless she is either in my arms or sleeping on my chest. Every once in a while, she will fall asleep in her Mamaroo or her swing and then we get 30-60 minutes.

---We officially moved her into 0-3 month clothes at ten weeks. Some of them are too big around the tummy, but she is definitely long enough for most of them.

---She is in size 1 diapers. She is definitely filling them out more now than at 8 weeks. Her legs still aren't chubby enough to stop leaking, but if I can catch her in the act and we move to the changing pad, we can usually avert a disaster.

---The lady is now holding objects with both hands when placed in her hands. She can even remove one hand and grab the object with the same hand again. And let me tell you -- she is all about her hands! She grabs everything that is near her hands -- her bibs, Mama's hair, blankets -- and they promptly go directly into her mouth.---She is a mad talker as well. The doctor was surprised at how much she was talking already and said that she would be a big talker as little lady started talking to the doctor while in for her appointment. My favorite time is when I can really get her going by mimicking her exact sounds. She'll make a sound and I'll make the sound right back and then she corresponds with another sound. We aren't even speaking the same language yet, but talking to her melts my heart.

---Sister is getting some mad rolling skills. We aren't there yet. But during tummy time, her back right leg is really flying. She lifts that leg up high enough for her lower tummy to be off the ground. I wouldn't be surprised if in the next couple of weeks, she rolls over -- at least on accident.--We've also been practicing tummy time and getting her neck strengthened by laying her with her knees on the couch and elbows on my tummy. She loves this view of the world and I love the way her little head looks like a bobble head as she tries with all her might to exert control over her melon.

---She also has great neck strength. She can be picked up from a laying position with minimal head support. She doesn't need head support at all being passed between people. And she is getting really good at maintaining neck control when we grab her hands and lift her into a sitting position from a laying position.

---She has decided that she doesn't really like E. According to her, only Mama will do. But he has figured out that walking her outside when she starts screaming calms her. Being that summer is right around the corner, it'll be a great father-daughter thing to do as long as we get her a mosquito netting before the bugs set in! :)--Sister still doesn't like the car. We are getting better, but she still loathes the car. Like last night when I went to pick up a pizza, I got her all happy & talking before I shut her door. We were good, blabbering away to each other until I stopped. Then it was over and there was no going back.
Can't believe that another month has passed so quickly. In fact, the vivid memories of being pregnant and delivering her are fading. It kind of makes me lonely for those excited times full of anticipation. They were such a good time in my life, so full of promise and love. Now my life is so full of love and promise of a different kind. The best kind there is...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Last week, E's sister Anita came in to see Finn. She's a flight attendant and can jump on flights pretty quickly. She came in on Wednesday and left on Friday evening. Even though she only stayed for a short time, I think she definitely got some baby love in.

I made sure to pass off the little lady every chance that I wasn't feeding her. Auntie Anita definitely has a way to put babies to sleep as you can tell.

We just spent the day laying around and loving on a baby. According to her, it was a perfect getaway.

So today was my first day away from my pretty lady. This morning was definitely hard. As I was getting ready to leave, I cried, looking at her laying in our bed laughing and smiling at me. I couldn't even look at the house as I drove away, thinking E would be standing with her in the window waving because I was crying too hard. But I didn't cry again. I'm not happy about having to return to work, but realize that Finn will be a strong, independent woman because of it. I would like to arrange my schedule at work to be home earlier with her and am going to speak to my supervisor next week regarding this. I also think that because Finn is at our house and with someone that she is familiar with, it makes me more comfortable. That first day in September when we transfer her to daycare here on campus will sting a lot worse than today, I fear. But I'm not going to think about that day until at least late August.

Sister is getting bigger and bigger. Her head is growing so strong. I was able to place her in her Bumbo yesterday. Both times were very short, less than a minute a piece. I can tell that she really enjoys watching her surroundings and we will be using the Bumbo a lot more in the upcoming weeks.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

So, today is my last day home with my little lady. To say that I'm sad would be a MAJOR understatement.

Today's weather is a perfect companion to my emotions. It is rainy and gloomy. At first, I thought it was a sign from God that he was upset because I had to go to work tomorrow. I told E that one, but the logical scientist scoffed. Then I realized why the powers that be decided to make it rain today. Not to deepen my sadness. But just the opposite because it is perfect weather for snuggling.

The one thing that I've come to realize in this last year is that in order to have flowers, you gotta have some rain. It's the rain that makes the flowers' stems strong enough to support the beautiful petals that bloom with the sun. It's the rain that makes the flowers' roots dig deeper into the soil to strengthen its foundation.

And that's what I'm starting to see my return to work as. It's my rain.

As much as I want to sit at home with my baby girl everyday for the rest of my life, I know that it's not possible. I know that I may need to get out of the house and spend some time away from her to remember who I am. At this point, I've only spent probably a total of 10 hours away from her in the past 12 weeks. It's difficult to find yourself in an hour here and an hour there.

I remember the girl that I was before I had her and I don't want to lose her. I want to be that girl for my girl. I want to be the strong, independent woman that teaches my girl how to have dance parties of one, which will now forever be dance parties of two (sometimes three when Munk joins in). I didn't realize how easy it was to lose yourself in someone -- to suddenly just become Mommy and not be Jamie anymore. Just as much as I need my old self, Finn needs Jamie, too.

And although there will be more than enough tears being shed tomorrow, let the rain fall down on me. For the flowers that bloom from this rain will be exquisite.

Monday, May 7, 2012

E's sister had been out for a visit last week and I was trying to enjoy my last weekend before going back to work. So I have a myriad of photos that need to be uploaded and sorted. She is growing so fast and getting so much bigger each day that I feel that if I don't post something, I'm going to be so far behind.

It was ungodly hot that day -- so the fan is the muffling that you are hearing.

Sister is getting so good at holding her head up. She doesn't need her head supported hardly at all when we pick her up from an upright position (such as from someone else's arms). She needs minimal support when being picked up from a laying position.

This is how we enjoyed our last lazy Sunday before I return to work. Nothing completes a wonderful weekend better than sleepy snuggles with my lady...

I only have two days left with her before I return to work -- so if I don't get anything else posted in the next two days, just know that I'm enjoying EVERY MINUTE that we have left! :)

I do have multiple posts that are going to be going up this week. I have E's sister's visit, a father-daughter shoot like none other, and her three month update all this week.