Monkey traps are usually large bottles filled with nuts or fruit. They have long, narrow necks and are pretty heavy. They way they work is that the monkey will be drawn to whatever goodies are in the bottle. However they cannot remove their hand from the bottle if it is closed. The bottle is too heavy for the monkey to carry away and so the little bastard is stuck. What is funny is that all the monkey has to do is let go and it is free. It is their greed, focus and short sightedness that fuck them over in the end. They are not open to the idea of moving on. Their determination will not let them move on and find these objects elsewhere or figure out an alternative to get the goods in the bottle; like finding a rock and smashing it.

And here lies man’s problem, our focus turns to tunnel vision and leaves us a victim of our own creation. This shouldn’t be surprising since we are only distant cousins to Bonzo. Being creatures of habit we never really break free from our comfort zones. I find this to be extremely funny as I am always pointing out to others how they need to just let go and not fall prey to the monkey trap. Yet here I am realizing that I too am as just as much a victim to my own monkey trap. Some call this irony.

There is a line in a MF Doom track where he basically states “The minute you think you know shit is the minute you don’t know shit. Because there is a lot more shit out there than you can wrap your head around.” It’s true, just as much as the fact that the things we hate about other people is the shit we hate in ourselves and that the advice we give is the advice we should heed.

But alas, poor Yorick! We are doomed to fail! Well, not really. See, with every failure there is a lesson. We are only being human when we fail. Our perception and how we deal with failure is what fucks us up most of the time. We pigeon hole ourselves into these patterns and our comfortability is our proverbial monkey trap. So what do you do? It’s scary to leap out of your box and learn new things. It is scary, for me at least, to let go of how I am used to living and learn to live another way. While I like to think that I have had a full life, I am starting to see as well as have it pointed out that I am only living the life I want. In all reality, I have spent more of my life trying to die. I have hindered myself greatly as I only like looking at life the way I have been looking at it. I find myself hating happiness, tranquility and all the good out there because I am simply so used to all the bad. It’s sad when your default emotions are angry, hateful, rejection and apathy.

So yeah, fucking great! You’ve acknowledged that. You’ve known this all your life kid. What the fuck are you gonna do about it? Honest answer: I don’t know, I’d ver much like to improve. It’s easier to say you are going to be better than actually be better. Much like most drunks say “One more and that’s it. I’m out of here.” It never works like that. Not really. It takes effort and will to do these things. It’s an evolution of sorts. You can either get smart and adapt or you can be weeded out by your own inundation. Bottom line it’s up to you fuckface.

Once upon a time there was this group called S.H.A.R.P. It stood for Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice and it’s main purpose was to let the world know that not all skinheads were racist. Simple as that. It immediately snowballed into this convoluted concept akin to being a peace punk or a hippie. All of a sudden being proud of your country was bad, because we are 3rd world oppressors and that capitalism was bad. This lead to the group’s movement to veer politically left. Now most will argue that they were always left wing. There is a lot of revisionism in that subculture to begin with. However I will point out that the person who founded SHARP had a fanzine that was very Pro-American. See, there is nothing racist about patriotism. There is nothing racist about being anti-gay or anti-commie. Because racism is a matter of race; not gender issues, sexuality or political motives. Unless of course the political motives involve RACE. It should be a simple matter. But it’s been co-opted by commie, vegan, tree huggers that spell women with a “y” (womyn) so that it is not sexist. I am not going to get all into semantics on these issues. We can go there, but I can and will back my facts up. And I really don’t feel like wasting anyone else’s time with nonsense and drama.

SHARP in some cities was well needed or at least a show of force in cities that had serious nazi skinhead problems. The south, texas, chicago, detroit, parts of the midwest and the entire west coast all had serious problems with white power skinheads. So it was kind of awesome for kids who were not racist and/or opposed to racism to step up and have a banner they could unite under. Other cities had no need for it whatsoever. Some could even speculate that the same city that this group was founded in had no need for it simply out of the fact that a lot of the skinheads there were not even white. Sure, NYC did have and still does have a few white power skins, mostly in Brooklyn. But it isn’t a real problem. It’s not a situation where they are shooting at non racist skins or just straight up murdering non racist skins for the hell of it.

So now this outfit has expanded. Over the years there were even spin off groups such as SPAR (Skins and Punks Against Racism) or RASH (Red & Anarchist Skinheads), for example. Thanks to a certain member of The Oppressed it has become a world wide phenomena. Now again, in certain parts of the world I could see it being needed. Like Germany, England, France and Spain. But then there are other parts of the world like The Philippines, where I have to wonder where and how would Neo Nazis exist, let alone survive? Sure in some countries you do get a few dicks that wear swastikas and say off hand shit for shock value. In places like South America or Mexico you get people who are either direct descendants of war criminals (Argentina & Brazil) or places where people will insist they are of European, as in Spaniard, blood (Mexico). Now this is pretty laughable. All countries will have skins in their cities that have nationalist stances, this is pretty common actually. But again, does that make them racist or even white power if they aren’t white to begin with? I mean sure it is hard to come up with an acronym that sounds cool for Uruguayan skinheads opposed to hard line nationalist Uruguayan skinheads that want to deport whatever immigrants we may have and are way too macho and conservative than we are; but if you are going to fly a banner, make sure the banner fits your means.

So why the need for SHARP in these places that have no real need for them? Some would argue that it is a way for skinheads to avoid confrontation from minorities. Having been a skin, I can tell you that living in the ghetto isn’t always a good idea. But then again, you know what you look like. You know what you are perceived as and you know damn well that confrontation is going to happen. Pointing at a patch and giving some speech about how you are one of the “good guy skins” isn’t going to save you. Maybe once out of every 15 times, sure, I’ll give you that. Plus skinheads are jerks. They really are and that is part of the appeal. Nevermind the whole working class pride shit. Skinheads are assholes. There is a reason that it is one of the most hated subcultures in history and by trying to make it public friendly you are watering down the integrity of it. Sure as I got older I enjoyed the lack of day to day confrontation that I had grown so accustomed to. But that doesn’t mean that the youth should not pay their dues. Nor am I getting all sour grapes about having had it worse and now these kids don’t know how hard it was. What I am saying is if you are going to be something, BE IT. Don’t hide behind a flag, a patch or a fucking clown outfit. Be it and fucking do it. Otherwise you make it a mockery for those that paved the way before you.

If you don’t know about this, then you should check it out. It is a cult dedicated to binge drinking and really bad behavior. It’s pretty much an open call and anyone can get in on the fun. Provided of course that you have a sense of humor and possibly bail money.

Like this:

Now I had said that nothing exudes life like an open wound. While this is true, it still hurts. I guess the truth always hurts. Funny how that comes into play.

The past month has been a whirlwind. It, if anything, has been a barrage of razorblades with me as the target. While it may seem like a low point, I am almost sure that there are lower places. As a matter of fact, I have been lower. Just not much lower. That said, my eyes are opening and I am starting to wake from whatever stupor I let myself fall into. I am in fact feeling slightly more alive. Although, sensitive would be a better word. But it’s more sensation then I may have had in months. I may not like this overload, but in an attempt to be positive, I will make it work.

So, no real updates for now. At least nothing steady. I have some old submissions I will look over and shoot out, but in the meantime I am going to fuck off and make more stories as opposed to reliving some of them here. You should fuck off and do the same.