Omegle

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: before u ask, i'm a guy
Stranger: ok haha im a grl
You: of course u are
Stranger: where u from
You: romania
Stranger: whats that mean of course u r
You: all the trolls here pose as girls
You: the truth is, there are no women on the internet
You: because they are all in the kitchen
Stranger: okk thats not true
You: sure is
Stranger: maybe in Romania but not in the US
You: OMG, u insulted my country
You: my romanian soul bleeeds
Stranger: u insulted my gender
You: hahahaha :)))
You: cough*
You: I would like to apologise for that
Stranger: thamks apology accepted
You: But u should know, maby we could become friends some day, but I will never trust anything that bleeds for 3 days and doesn't die
Stranger: r u gay
You: is that a queestion?
You: is that a sentence?
Stranger: yess
Stranger: ques
You: ?
You: u are making no sense
You: ques?
Stranger: question
You: oh...
You: i think i am bisexual
You: u?
Stranger: very straight
You: ever thought about having a special pillow fight with your friends?
You: not even secretly?
Stranger: no lol
Stranger: do u?
You: do I what?
You: the pillow fight?
Stranger: yes
You: NO WAY that is very gay
Stranger: well u said u r bi whats the diff
You: what?
You: oh...
Stranger: how old r u
You: yes, sex with men... maby, i'm open minded, but not a pillow fight
You: 23
You: u?
Stranger: 20
Stranger: why would u want to be w a guy... u r a guy
Stranger: thats so weid
Stranger: weird
You: U are cristian right?
You: christian
Stranger: yess r u?
You: atheist of course
Stranger: i kno some "gay" people who r Christians
You: so...
You: i know some atheists who are straight
You: what's your point
Stranger: cool well u said of course so i thought u meant bc u r gay u would have to be atheist
You: HAHAHA.... tipicaly christian....already catalogued me as gay.... i said i thought i was bi
You: all i said is that i'm open minded
Stranger: whatever same thing
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hi
You: Hello mother.
You: We meet again.
Stranger: i'm not your mother
You: FUCK YOU I SAID YOU'RE MY MOTHER SO YOU'RE MY MOTHER
Stranger: k chill out
You: ok then
You: so it's settled
You: you're my mother
Stranger: okay...
You: I cen haz breast feed?
Stranger: no
You: why not
Stranger: cause i said no
You: oh
You: Million years of evolution. Still not closed to perfection. God how much time do you need? Cause I'm getting impatient.
Stranger: ? poetic but ?
You: Why can't the demon in my head just help me? Come back and burn all these painful feelings as you used to do before.
You: AS YOU USED
You: TO DO BEFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE
Stranger: lovely
You: I know
You: You love me singing songs.
You: Don't you mother
Stranger: yes i sure do
You: =)
You: Am I a good boy, mother?
Stranger: yes?
You: thank you, mother
Stranger: you are very welcome
You: Mother, how come you never bring me to the amusement park? And why does father hit me?
Stranger: Um...amusement parks are unapropriate and i was not aware he does that i will have a firm talk with him
You: Oh. But I want to ride the roller coaster so very much.
Stranger: well when you get older you can go
You: BITCH IM 25
You: WHEN WILL I BE OLD ENOUGH
Stranger: That is no way to talk to your mother!!! no wonder your father hits you!
Stranger: and not untill you are 30
You: Fuck you, you fuckin skank. I never loved you anyway
Stranger: @$$ Hole!
You: Are you proud of me now, mother?
You: ARE YOU!?
You: ANSWER ME
Stranger: I WAS NEVER PROUD OF YOU!!!! YOU HAVE SO MANY ISSUES!
You: WHY DID YOU LET THAT MAN RAPE ME MOTHER, WHY
Stranger: WTF!?!?!?!?!?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyy
You: I have a penis
You: just want to get that out in the open
Stranger: thats good to know..thanks for that.
You: now is that good to know because you like penis?
Stranger: ha uhmm sure?
You: ok now do you like penis because you are a gay man or a bi women?
You: if you dont mind
Stranger: uhm a staight women
You: lol no women is straight
You: all the way
Stranger: how is that?
You: miss look deep in your soul
Stranger: huh?
You: your soul
You: when you see a women with a nice butt
You: what do you think?
Stranger: uhm i have a better one.
Stranger: haha
You: alright you judge that womens butt
You: as a man i dont give two shits about another mans ass
You: see check your soul
Stranger: ans i dont give a fuck about another womens
You: "thats a nice butt, but mines better.....tho i wont mind putting a finger in there" - you thinking
You: am i right?
You: eh?
Stranger: no i was kidding you freak!
You: lol
You: im the freak
Stranger: yeah.
You: come on now
You: its ok
Stranger: : (
You: aww now
You: you just need to come clean
You: you will feel alot better
Stranger: wow ur lame
You: come on
You: dont do me dirty
You: Im trying to be a nice guy
Stranger: no your not
You: helping you out and all
Stranger: yeah no.
You: i would go as far as to say you owe me.
You: am i right?
Stranger: huh?
You: or am i right?
You: you owe me...for helping
You: eh?
Stranger: and i font owe you didlly shit
Stranger: dont*
You: lol
You: ok ok
You: fine
You: fair enough
You: still friends?
Stranger: maybe.
You: come on
You: dont do me dirty
You: you do owe me after all
You: am i right?
You: or am i right?
Stranger: NO, are you on crack?
You: lol
You: come on
You: i think its funny
You: its alright
Stranger: i dont
You: lol
You: i know that makes it funner
Stranger: wow your such an ass
You: lol
You: come on
You: Im sorry?
You: is that good?
Stranger: doesnt help
You: still friends?
Stranger: no
You: lol
You: damn
You: i thought i did a good job here
You: I did try
You: i tried my best
Stranger: i bet you did
Stranger: and it just wansnt good at all
Stranger: so there
You: come on
You: still friends?
Stranger: hell no!
You: lol
Stranger: bye fagget
You: damn
You: please dont leave me
You: FRIEND!
Stranger: what do i get?
You: ohhh
You: idk
You: what do you NEED?
Stranger: idk!
Stranger: whats ur name?
You: Jay Leno
You: lol
Stranger: wow bye
You: am i right?
You: come on
You: im kidding
You: that was good
Stranger: then what is it?
Stranger: 5
Stranger: 4
You: robin
Stranger: 3
Stranger: 2
You: robin williams
You: lol
Stranger: 1
You: yay!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HI
You: Im still a final college student in big ol' London, and what can I say.. My mind is constantly buzzzzzing-- but Im pretty laid back when it comes to alot of things.. I believe conversations are the best when it doesn't really make sense or have any real point to it, but at the same time mean a whole lot. If that makes any sense at all.
Im a big push over, a romanticist, an introvert.
Get to know me?
Stranger: I don't know/
You: -Aliens were the "gods" the Ancient Egyptians worshipped
-Osiris, a "god" was known to have green skin.
-The gods never were ONLY depicted with men with animal heads, AKA (masks to hide their identities)

-1 Common religion
-The Ancient Egyptians believed in the god Ptuh which was known as the Creator of "Gods"
-nicknamed as the "hearing ear", the god made purely of gold, had long earlobes to represent his great consciousness.
-These are the very characteristics of the Great Budha.

Budha, Ptuh, sounds similar? (back then to the East Asians it sure does)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hey
Stranger: do you have any real life friends?
Stranger: because i dont
You: Quite a few
Stranger: and i rl wish i did
You: Well, that's gotta suck
You: What's up, are you too fat to get out of the front door or something?
Stranger: it does.. i was thinking abouit killing myself...
Stranger: and then i found this website.
Stranger: which is the closest thing to a friend i will ever have
You: Go out and get drunk. Talk to someone random. Join your local book club or something. Shit, even the local Linux club or computer club. You'll meet people there.
Stranger: oh but i live in norway...
You: What, they don't have bars in Norway?
Stranger: in the last house in the northermost point...
Stranger: and i just killed my parents
You: Oh lulz
You: Remember to masturbate onto their lifeless corpes etc
Stranger: i did indeed
You: Well that's just lovely. I'm really proud of you. May I suggest taking some pictures of them. Maybe you next to the bodies giving two thumbs up and a cheeky wink and a smile?
You: With you r dick out
Stranger: i dont have a camera...
You: Well....
Stranger: should i draw it for you and then send it by post to your adress?
You: Yes, let me give you my full name and address, with phone number
You: It's Phillip Kaplan, 14nth and Mina 169-169-169.
You: Bring a baggie for your teeth.
You: Are you off googling that or something?
Stranger: i'll just tell you i live in Nordkapp, Norway...
Stranger: sorry someone knocked on my door...
Stranger: its the nazis...
Stranger: they invaded our country
You: How rude of them. I bet they knocked over some chandeliers while they were there
Stranger: i dont have chandeliers in my house... actually i live in a shack
Stranger: gotta go bury the bodies... its 11pm here...
Stranger: i love you
You: I love you too sugar
Stranger: i will send you those drawings
Stranger: well cyber fuck ext time
You: sure will. I'll seal the envelope closed with my own jizz too
Stranger: <3 <3
You: Yeah. I'll be rough. Anyway, enjoy the dead bodies.
Stranger: oow.. that makes me horny
You: Well, good job you've got a few willing partners around.
You: Take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You have disconnected.

You: so a black fellow walks into a pub
Stranger: hey
Stranger: horny?
You: and asks the barkeep for a drink
You: the barkeep says "I'd take a martini"
You: and so the black fellow does
You: you like the joke?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi!
You: okay
Stranger: asl?
You: 19/f/China
You: I mean Tibet
Stranger: do you have big boobs?
You: 36Ds
You: Many china girls get boob job done
Stranger: damn, hoped you were small... flat-chested :/
You: Tibetian tradition
You: asl?
Stranger: lol thats lame for me...
Stranger: 19/m/usa
You: "lol thats lame for me..."
You: What does that mean?
Stranger: i like girls with firm boobs. big boobs arent usually firm... so its bad for me, a guy who likes smaller boobs, that girls are getting implants.
You: implants are firm, and big
You: You are virgin?
Stranger: so you have firm, big boobs?
You: Of course
Stranger: unfortunately... came close twice, but both backed down...
You: Prostitutes?
Stranger: huh... new combination for me :P
Stranger: no, school girls in high school
You: Prostitutes are more reliable
You: Highly reccomended
You: for practise
Stranger: yeah, but i dont have that kinda money lol
Stranger: thats true...
You: Do the dine and dash
Stranger: lol so how tall are you?
You: What's your first name?
Stranger: you first! :)
You: Debbie in english
You: yours?
Stranger: Joseph.
Stranger: I'm Joseph lol
You: Listen Jo, I have to tell you something personal...
Stranger: ?
Stranger: what?
You: I'm not really a 17 y/o girl from tibet (lol), I am a 38 y/o man who is ferociously turned on by the fact that you're getting turned on by my big and firm breasts. Well, I was turned on. Now that I've cum I no longer feel the need to continue this charade.
Stranger: That's depressing that you came so fast.
Stranger: Also, I have your IP address.
You: For me it was an eternity
Stranger: Expect the FBI to be on your doorstep soon.
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: I suggest melting your hard drive.
You: If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: According to the ticket I recieved, you should expect them at your door in 12 minutes.
Stranger: I know.
Stranger: I'm not the FBI.
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: I reported you.
Stranger: Enjoy butt-rape.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: heyy
Stranger: hi m/f?
You: f here hun, you :P
Stranger: M haha goody :)
You: Where you from stranger ;)
Stranger: Sweden. and u are?
You: I'm from LA in the us hun :) woopwoop
Stranger: haha I love America, so what do you do for fun?
You: ooh you're eagre hehe :P ummm parties, clubbing and the obvious :p
Stranger: haha fucking yes?
You: oh you know it baby :p
Stranger: I love to fuck girls i love to treat woman right
You: Oh you sound like the man for me hun ahahah:p
You: you gotta big dick then?
Stranger: 9 inches, i can fuck for hours :P
You: lol you're actually making me a bit wet, I'm so bored I just wanna do something so fucking dirty
Stranger: how old?
You: 19 here. youu :P
Stranger: 16 haha
You: what's your name btw lol? :p - I'm sara
Stranger: Karl :p
You: oh great, I like young boys and I like the name Karl, they can fuck for ages and always have the biggest dicks:p ,like you I guess
Stranger: haha:p you have cam bb ??
You: Oh fuck I though you would never ask haha, Im a shy girl rele :p
Stranger: What is email?
You: Hmm, I wanna talk dirty for a bit first, you want me wet right?
Stranger: oh yeah haha sexy girl :p
You: Well, when I'm fucking a guy, I like to go doggy style and push my big butt right up so he can fuck the shit out of my pink pussy. I fucking love the noise of him smacking against my ass and I loooove being slapped on my butt. :p
Stranger: oooh very nice :p
You: How big are you hun? I wanna see if you can fit in me you fucking man :p
Stranger: 9" hun, I can fuck for hours. I am good in bed lol :p
You: Omg I really wish you lived in LA I would fuck you for days you little stud :p haha. Sorry im horny atm hun
Stranger: No it's good baby i will fuck you to :p
You: ooh I can't wait lol, once I was in Mudkipz, this club in LA and a guy was fucking me on the dancefloor, he wasn't 9" tho, ive never taken a dick that big :p:p:p
Stranger: you will like it :p all the girls like it tbh hha, ive only been with 5 or 6 really
You: ohhh almost a virgin then, I love that, you are still energetic :p:p:p
Stranger: :p
You: What do you look like Karl? :p
Stranger: haha umm big dick obviosly and brown hair, atm im just in boxers, just for you haha
You: ooh thank you I can't wait :p:p
You: You wanna know a secret Karl?
Stranger: haha ok :p bb then cam2cam?
You: sure, but this will get you hard lol :o like didldoes?
Stranger: haha yes go ahead sxy :p:p
You: All this time I have been a 35 year old fat, American man sat sweating at my computer desk covered in filth with a beer in my hand, swiggin from a can of corn. I have been picturing you in my mind, every commenting creating a new mental picture, undressing you, dressing you back up in lingerie and lace, imagining that oh so famous cock of yours resting in my mouth. I've wanked 2 times already over you, you fucking little whore. I've been talking dirty with you, imagining me fucking your tiny 16 year old ass, it bleeding slightly, your tender screams of pain and cumming all over your adolescent face. Thankyou Karl, you dirty little fuck rabbit - This has been the best wank I've ever had.

You: All this time I have been a 35 year old fat, American man sat sweating at my computer desk covered in filth with a beer in my hand, swiggin from a can of corn. I have been picturing you in my mind, every commenting creating a new mental picture, undressing you, dressing you back up in lingerie and lace, imagining that oh so famous cock of yours resting in my mouth. I've wanked 2 times already over you, you fucking little whore. I've been talking dirty with you, imagining me fucking your tiny 16 year old ass, it bleeding slightly, your tender screams of pain and cumming all over your adolescent face. Thankyou Karl, you dirty little fuck rabbit - This has been the best wank I've ever had.
Brotip: everyone already knows that. There is no ``big reveal''.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hi
Stranger: Im looking for a hot sexy girl 18-22 who would like to get on web cam with me and and get naked.
You: oh.. i am 15.. is it ok?
Stranger: wow that is very young
Stranger: im 18
You: i think it is illegal for me
Stranger: well its illegal for us to have sex
Stranger: well here it is atleas
You: where?
Stranger: in the US
You: what is you aim
Stranger: bassu2v
You: wait
You: my aim just crashed
You: whats your name?
Stranger: my name is matthew
Stranger: what is yours?
You: lennah
Stranger: very sweet name
Stranger: well maybe you want to send pictures of eachother?
You: sure
Stranger: ok
You: http://large.pictures.saver.dailybooth.com/bc7c69c92de5ee3e79f8bfa6e720bf8a_2616151.jpg
You: send me yours
Stranger: http://i572.photobucket.com/albums/ss166/bassu2v/7518_1232007566883_1429970381_68690.jpg
Stranger: im the one in the back
Stranger: red hair
Stranger: wow you dont look 15
Stranger: you look great
You: thanks
You: you too
Stranger: thank you
Stranger: ok do you want to send more reveling pictures?
You: um..
You: ok
You: you first
Stranger: ok what do you want to see
Stranger: shirt off?
You: yes
You: and then dick
Stranger: how about we both send no shirt
Stranger: then both send naked ones
You: ok
Stranger: ok one sec
Stranger: http://i572.photobucket.com/albums/ss166/bassu2v/Photo61.jpg
Stranger: see it?
You: yes..nice
Stranger: ok your turn
You: wait
Stranger: ?
Connection imploded.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: sup bra bra(:
Stranger: jkjk
You: ???
You: are you ok?
Stranger: never mind,,, yeah in=m fin
Stranger: yeah im fine
You: Can you feel the pain in the ass??
You: ohhh yeah
You: !!!!
You: Desudesudesudesu!!!
You: wats wrong with you?
Stranger: of course... uhhh geet going harder harder... uhhh\
You: you are so fucking offensive
Stranger: nothings wrong with me how about you?
Stranger: how? what did i do?/
You: get away from me!
You: i hate you :(
Stranger: why?
You: why wat?
Stranger: why stay away from you what did i do i was jking...
You: wat are you talking about?
Stranger: you just said get away from me... what did i do?
You: i didn't said that
You: sure that you are fine?
Stranger: look back at our conversation... you said that... "Stranger: get away from me!" copy and pasted from our convo... i am fine
Stranger: kkk
You: it just says hi
You: You: hi
Stranger: okay whatever
You: see?
You: you really need a doctor
Stranger: okay your mean... go get a life.. little kid how old are you?
You: 19
Stranger: wow your immature
You: i'm just bored , it's that a problem
You: ?
Stranger: no but its annoying
You: ok
You: i'll go
You: bye
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Are you a guy?
Stranger: lady with a cock, like lady gaga
You: I am Lady Gaga.
Stranger: and im your mum
Stranger: tae it like a bitch
You: Holy shit!
Stranger: take*
Stranger: enit
Stranger: guess what
You: Ow, mommy!
You: Wut?
Stranger: haha
Stranger: there once was a man called Michael fingaon who had ten fingers on his chinagoonononononon
Stranger: thats my song
Stranger: you have to sing it, otherwise it just dont sound right,
You: you have a great voice, mommy.
You: can I get it in my mouth this time?
Stranger: yees and get your arss to bed child
You: fuck.
Stranger: yes
You: Yaya!
Stranger: well child it looks like madre is gonna have to come downstairs and give that nigger of a arss of yours a spanking
You: yeah, I like that!
Stranger: can i ask you something young one
Stranger: wait wait
Stranger: what
Stranger: is
Stranger: the
Stranger: point
Stranger: of
Stranger: the
Stranger: guys behind you?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Are you a guy?
Stranger: lady with a cock, like lady gaga
You: I am Lady Gaga.
Stranger: and im your mum
Stranger: tae it like a bitch
You: Holy shit!
Stranger: take*
Stranger: enit
Stranger: guess what
You: Ow, mommy!
You: Wut?
Stranger: haha
Stranger: there once was a man called Michael fingaon who had ten fingers on his chinagoonononononon
Stranger: thats my song
Stranger: you have to sing it, otherwise it just dont sound right,
You: you have a great voice, mommy.
You: can I get it in my mouth this time?
Stranger: yees and get your arss to bed child
You: fuck.
Stranger: yes
You: Yaya!
Stranger: well child it looks like madre is gonna have to come downstairs and give that nigger of a arss of yours a spanking
You: yeah, I like that!
Stranger: can i ask you something young one
Stranger: wait wait
Stranger: what
Stranger: is
Stranger: the
Stranger: point
Stranger: of
Stranger: the
Stranger: guys behind you?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi boy girl or both
You: sorry, keyboard died.
You: I'm a girl with a cock, is that both?
Stranger: yes
You: Good.
Stranger: u are thats so kool
Stranger: im a guy who wants to be a transvestite so ur a transvestite
You: If only I could reach it with my mouth...
Stranger: haha
You: I would be sucking that thing all day.
Stranger: ya haha
Stranger: so ur a transvestite
You: Yup.
Stranger: nice i want to be one
Stranger: can i ask u some questions
Stranger: please
You: Sure.
Stranger: so why did u become one
You: Becuase I wanted a cock, why else?
Stranger: wait were u a guy befor u became a transvestite
You: Girl.
You: Before.
Stranger: o so how did u get a cock
You: drugs
Stranger: o im a guy and i want boobs and to look like a girl whe did u become one
You: A few weeks ago
Stranger: o how old are u
You: 12
Stranger: what nice what are u favorite clothes to wear
You: nothing
Stranger: o i like tights and shot skirst when u are at schoold dont u get hard
You: All the time.
Stranger: um
You: Sometimes I even help the teacher out after class.
You: {:
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: [AUTOMATED MESSAGE] Omegle is required by law to inform you that the person you are chatting with is a convicted sex criminal. You are advised for your own safety not to disclose any personal information. Thank you. Enjoy chatting!
You: hello ^^
You: asl?
Stranger: youre an idiot
You: ?
You: how so? xD'
Stranger: im not tht dumb
You: you mispelled that...
You: and i don't understand...
Stranger: [AUTOMATED MESSAGE] Omegle is required by law to inform you that the person you are chatting with is a convicted sex criminal. You are advised for your own safety not to disclose any personal information. Thank you. Enjoy chatting!
You: YOUR A SEX OFFENDER
Stranger: youre a dumbass hahaha, think im gonna fall for that
You: >:UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
You have disconnected.

You: Heyy
Stranger: hhi
You: I'm a flirtacious, 82 year old Latvian with Rabies :)
Stranger: wow...just what i was looking for
Stranger: kinky
You: I know lmao
Stranger: really now....i'm really looking for a flirtacious, 82 year old Latvian with Rabies
You: Well I do just the job
Stranger: what kinda job?
Stranger: do u blow?
You: No I have breathing difficulties
Stranger: do u hand?
You: No I have arthiritis
Stranger: oh,,,i see.. :-]
Stranger: u have tits?
You: No I am a man. But I'm growing tits. My doctor says it will take up to a month
Stranger: i see
Stranger: i'm a guy too
Stranger: gay guy :=)
You: Well I am undecided. I currently have a wife AND a husband
You: It's legal in the south of Latvia
Stranger: u want another husband?
You: Maybe if I get too old to stand up on my own feet. Then you can not only be my mistress and lover but also my leg donor
Stranger: i ill do anything for u
You: Aww you sweetheart
You: ACHH!
Stranger: i know
You: I am having a heart attack and stroke at the same time!!!
You: GARRRRGH!
Stranger: rigt now?
You: Yes!
You: ArrgghhhhH! Owooowww
Stranger: i am watching gay porn as we speack
You: Well as you enjoy yourself, I am in horrifying, agonising pain!
Stranger: u'll be fine
You: In my last words, my friend: avenge my death! Goodbye!
Stranger: don;t worry
You: *dead*
Stranger: i'll miss u
Stranger: did u wrote your will before u die?
Stranger: did u give me the house and the dog?
Stranger: did u just died??
Stranger: :-((
You: Wife and husband: Sorry about this. But he is already dead. He made his will out to his pet fish, Spanky. We are both annoyed he decided to do this and I'm sure you, as another of his gay lovers is appaled at this too. And yes. He is dead. Really. Goodbye.
Stranger: wife and husbandS !
You have disconnected.

Funny conversation 2:
You: Hey
You: BOM BOM BOM
You: Got any grapes?
Stranger: i have grape fruit
You: Awesome!
You: *noms*
Stranger: not for you!
You: Dammit
You: I'm in trouble now :S I took a chomp
Stranger: u owe me a chomp of grapefruit
You: Sorry :S Would you like me to regurgitate it for you?
Stranger: no
You: Didnt think so
You have disconnected.

You:
You: I SUCK DICKS
Stranger: omg me too!!!!!!!
Stranger: we have soo much in common >.<
You: Are you an robot!
Stranger: no
Stranger: :)
You: u sure?
Stranger: yarp
You: Do you have a vagina?
Stranger: last time i checked :L
Stranger: wbu??
You: were u from?
Stranger: england, you/
You: I am from germany
You: i'm homosexual.
Stranger: ahh, i'm bi :)
You: I only fuck pygmies.
You: They are so hot.

Stranger: hi
You: May I ask you something?
Stranger: sure
You: Why, Mr. Anderson? Why, why, why? Why do you do it? Why, why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you’re fighting for something, for more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is, do you even know? Is it freedom, or truth, perhaps peace, could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose! And all of them as artificial as the matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it Mr. Anderson, you must know it by now. You can’t win, it’s pointless to keep fighting! Why, Mr. Anderson, why? Why do you persist?
Stranger: ha
You: Why do you persist?
Stranger: show me ur cock and i will tell u ;)
You: Why I have to show you my cock? Is it because you are horny or just to joke.
You: Perhaps for the lulz.
Stranger: horny and im curious as too how big u r
You: Illusions, Mr. Anderson.
You: Vagaries of penis perception.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hey!
You: heyyy!!
[WARNING: Omegle™ is required under United States Federal Law to inform you that the IP (98.179.227.210) of the person whom you are chatting with is linked to a registered sex offender. Omegle™ encourages you to consider this when giving out personal information. The stranger cannot see this message.]

You: FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!!
You: AND NOW EVERYONE KONWS IM A PEDOPHILE
You: FUCKING BULSHIT
Stranger: haha.
You: I JUST WANT TO FUCKING START OVER
You: FUCKING BULLSHIT
Stranger: wait, are you joking or serious?
You: fuck you i bet youre working with the FBI
You: trying to fucking entrap me
Stranger: okay...
Stranger: i'm not...
You: OH ILL FUCKING SUE ENTRAPMENT IS AGAINST THE LAW!
Stranger: JESUS!
Stranger: i can't even tell if your joking or not
You: YEAH FUCK YOU FBI I KNOW UR WATCHING!
You: HAHAH FUCK YOU!!!!!!! IM ON TO YOU!
Stranger: i'm not the fbi!!!
Stranger: ahhh!!!!
You: LOLOLOL THEN I BET YOUR GOING TO SEND ME A LINK TO CHILD PORN

Stranger: calm down!!
You: AND WHEN I FUCKING OPEN IT ILL GET ARRESTED!!!!
Stranger: no!!
You: FUCK THAT
You: i cant believe they fucking did this to me!
You: she was 14 who fucking cares?
Stranger: what happened?
You: only a 6 year difference fuck that
You: SHE CONSENTED TO HAVING SEX
You: THATS ALL THAT MATTERS
Stranger: how old were you?
You: this happened 3 months ago
You: BUT YOU ALREADY FUCKING KNOW THAT
Stranger: did you go to jail or something?
You: youre just fucking mad that your reputation as an agency took a blow!
Stranger: noppeee.
You: noope courts drop charges but added it to my record and now I CANT FUCKING GET A JOB AND YOU KNOW THAT AND YOU WANT TO SEND ME TO JAIL!!!
Stranger: i'm 16 i don't even work.
You: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Stranger: your fun to talk to.
Stranger: 'I LIKE YOU!
You: how am I a fucking pedophile when she wanted it?
Stranger: your not.
You: who fucking cares if i was 20 and she was 14?
You: WHO FUCKING CARES IF I SODOMIZED HER?!?
Stranger: i don't/
You: YEAH YOU DO
Stranger: nope.
You: UR TRYING TO FIND SOME DIRT ON ME
Stranger: i really don't!
You: AND THROW ME INTO FUCKING JAIL!!!!
Stranger: nope i'm not!
Stranger: your paranoid.
You: HAHAHA IM ON TO YOOOOUUU
Stranger: you're crazy!
Stranger: but fun to talk to.
You: lol you're on MTV Pranked
You: There's a hidden camera there and there's a hidden camera there!
You: You're on MTV baby!
Stranger: HA. HA. HA.
Stranger: your funny/
You: But I really am a sex offender :)
Stranger: are you really?
You: I apparently "raped" a coworker a few years ago
You: I had to go to jail for 3 years :(
Stranger: but you didn't actually rape them did you?
You: ermmm
You: i gave her ecstasy and tied her up
You: she agreed to taking the pill
You: hello? you there?
Stranger: did she file charges or something?
You: yeah fuck that
You: so now everyone knows im a sex offender
Stranger: oh i thought that message was a joke. haha
You: it wasn't my /b/rother :(
You: i cant believe they'd do that to me :9
Stranger: well, yeah. sorry that happened to you.
You: lol kidding
You: :P
You: you're on 4chan :)
Stranger: what's that?

Stranger: then lets do what u want
You: what?
Stranger: any thing
Stranger: i can make u feel good
You: you pevert
You: can you not get a girlfriend?
You: goodbye
Stranger: noo
Stranger: just a minute
You: ook
Stranger: i did not mean that
You: ok
Stranger: u r taking it in a wrong way
You: ok
Stranger: and i m not a pervert
You: right
You: but you are a borevert XD
You: lol
Stranger: why did u call me pervert
You: goodbye
Stranger: thats what u think
You: thats what i know
You: XD
Stranger: but i m not a boring person
You: SURE
Stranger: not at all
You: i believe you

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: please
You: don't be from india
You: dont be a 19 m hory
Stranger: hi
You: *horny
You: and dont ask for noooodz
Stranger: ok m from india bt no horny by d way wat problem do u hav from india
Stranger: nd wats noods..?
You: you guys can't spell.
You have disconnected.
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You: In west Philadelphia born and raised
Stranger: ok
Stranger: kooll
Stranger: name?
Stranger: age?
Stranger: sex?
You: On the playground was where I spent most of my days
You: Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool
You: And all shootin some b-ball outside of school
Stranger: location?
You: When a couple of guys
You: Who were up to no good
You: Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
You: I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
Stranger: m/f
Stranger: ?
You: She said ‘You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air’
You: I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, ‘I might as well kick it’.
You: First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
You: But wait, I hear the prissy, booze, whine, all that
Is this the type of place that they should send this cool cat?
I don’t think so
I’ll see when I get there
I hope they’re prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
You: Well uh, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain’t trying to get arrested yet.
I just got here!
I sprang with the quickness, like lightening disappeared
You: I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say is that this cab was rare
But I thought ‘Man forget it’ - ‘Yo home to Bel Air’
You: I pulled up to the house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabbie ‘Yo homes smell ya later’
I looked to my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
Stranger: hello
Stranger: nice story
Stranger: r u there?
You: Can you wop...?
You: i love wopping
You: do you
You: wait
Stranger: wop?
You: are you cool
You: because im cool as an ice cube
You: yo
You: doggy
You: g
You: man
You: whats up
You: you chill?
You: i like you
You: not!
You: jk
You: idk
You: i have multiple personalities sometimes
You: what?!
You: who said that??
You: freal!
You: shut up!
You: no youuuu.
You: i hate you
You: <33333333333333
Stranger: so wats ur name?
You: becca
You: no
You: janelle
You: no
You: taylor
You: no frank!
You: no thats a guys name
You: jk
You: idk
Stranger: your real name?
Stranger: ok
Stranger: plz
You: my real name???
Stranger: yea
You: smitty werbenjagermanjensen
You: :)
You: he was number 1!!!
Stranger: wow
You: I want my soda drinking hat back please!
Stranger: nice name?

You: ahhh!!!!!!!!!!!
You: A FLYING SHOPPING LIST!
Stranger: hello
Stranger: byeeee
You: whats your name??
Stranger: farnaaz
You: oh cool
You: you like my name?
You: its awesome i know
You: because he was number 1!!!
Stranger: yea
You: he was my idol
Stranger: it is
You: so dont hate
You: and
You: he had this awesome hat
Stranger: how old r u?
You: a soda drinking hat!
You: 35498348
You: that old enough for you?
You: orrrr
You: -456787654
You: that young enough?
You: :D
You: HE WAS NUMBER 1!!!!
Stranger: who was # 1?
You: smitty werbenjagermanjensen
Stranger: i jus dont get it?
You: HE WAS NUMBER 1!!!!!!!
Stranger: ok
Stranger: where u 4rm?
You: BIKINI BOTTOM....
Stranger: lol
You: whats so funny?
You: HE WAS NUMBER 1!
Stranger: heheheheehhee
You: Hey you there!
You: I got a question
You: is mayonnaise an instrument?
Stranger: yea im here
Stranger: no
You: I have a story
You: Its called the ugly barnacle
Stranger: ok
Stranger: tell me
You: once there was an ugly barnacle
You: he was so ugly
You: that everyone died
You: the end.
Stranger: heheheheheh
Stranger: lol
Stranger: lmaoo
Stranger: hahahah
You: he was number 1!!!!!!!!1
Stranger: male of femal?
Stranger: female?
You: BOTH.
You: jk
You: idk?
You: yes i do
You: i lied
You: hahah
Stranger: hahahahah
You: im a martian
You: jk
You: im a fish
Stranger: heheheh
You: or a sponge?
You: or a squid!
You: or a crab
You: idk
You: but i am smitty werbenjagermanjensen.
Stranger: lol
You: and its sweeeeet sweeeeet sweet victory!
You: YEAH!
Stranger: r u okay
Stranger: ?
You: idk
You: like truly
You: who are you
You: GUESS WHAT?!?!?
Stranger: u dont seems to be
You: IM A GOOFY GOOBER!!!!
You: WE'RE ALL GOOFY GOOBERS!!!!
You: THEN I SAY THANKS
You: THANK YOU VERY MUCH
Stranger: ok i have to go
You: IM A GOOFY GOOBER
You: BYE I LOVE YOU
You: JK
You: I HATE YOU
You: NO I LOVE YOU
You: :)
Stranger: byeee and take care
You: YOU TOO AND BE THAT GOOFY GOOBER
Stranger: do u have AN EMAIL ADRESS
You: IM FREE!!!!!
You: Uhm, if I give it to you can you give me my hat back?
You: its rare
Stranger: wat black hat?
You: my name is spongebob!!!
You: jk its
You: smitty werbenjagermanjensen
Stranger: i dont have ur black hat
You: because im cool.
You: its white!!!!
You: like me
You: jk
You: im yellow
You: or pink
You: idk
Stranger: byeeeeeeee
Your conversational partner has disconnected

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hey!
Stranger: It's u!
You: Stand by my side, my brother!
Stranger: Remember me??
You: The Core forces are rallying for their last stand
Stranger: U kno
Stranger: Last night
You: we must Engage them immidiatly
Stranger: Upstairs...
You: There is no time for gossip!
Stranger: I took u under the covers
You: ARM FORCES, MOBILIZE!
Stranger: And turned off the lights
You: ANNIHILATE THE VERY LAST REMNANTS OF CORE!
Stranger: Then I showed u my
Stranger: BRAND BEW GLOW STICK
You: DEFEAT THE PLAGUE THAT HAS SHATTERED THE UNIVERSE FOR SO MANY YEARS!
You: THEIR DEFEAT IS ASSURED!
You: CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Stranger: It was a nice glow stick
You: *kaazzzmmm kaazzzzmmmm*
You: *bepebepbepbepbep*
You: *kaatschoOOoommm*
You: *pschrtschrhhtthshchchhhhhhhhhhh*
You: *wooooOOoshhh*
You: *Tzchum tzchum tzchum*
You: *bschdrsochschoschchchhhh*
Stranger: Fuck u
You: *dufdfudfudfudfufdufudfufdudfufdufudfu*
Stranger: And ur damn forces
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: say this while you are jerking off, it will make the cum very intense

O, that this too too solid flesh would melt
Thaw and resolve itself into a dew!
Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd
His canon 'gainst self-slaughter! O God! God!
How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable,
Seem to me all the uses of this world!

Stranger 1: and this bird you cannot chayeeyayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeayeeange

Stranger 2: And iiiiiiiii have become... comfortably numb

Stranger 1: and a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng jacket

Stranger 2: takes these broken eyes and learn to seeeee

Stranger 1: it's the remix to ignition hot and fresh out da kitchin momma rollin' that body got every man in here wishin'

Stranger 2: hes a pinball wizard, there has to be twist. pinball wizards got such a subtle wrist

Stranger 1: whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy do we liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike to hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt. so much

Stranger 2: we're not gonna take it anymoooorrrreeeee

Stranger 1: breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law breakin the law

Stranger 1: one day love will find you break bones crush and grind you

Stranger 2: im all out of love, im so lost without you

Stranger 1: YOU'RE GOING HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME. YOU'RE RUNNING FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. AS ONLY YOU WOULD BE. IF YOU NEVER OWED THEM ANYTHING

Stranger 2: i dont need no arms around me, and i dont need no drugs to calm me. i have seen the writing on the waaalll. NO, dont think i need ANYTHING AT ALL. all in all your just another brick int he wall.

Stranger 1: I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the I was following the

Stranger 1: I was following the pack all swallowed in their coats with scarves of red tied round their throats to keep their little heads from falling in the snow, then I turned round and there you'd go and micheal you would fall and turn the white snow red as strawberries in the summertime.

Stranger 2: (face melting guitar solo)

Stranger 1: IS SOMEONE GETTING THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST