I have lit myself on fire (I'm in a Darwin Awards book), been on stage with Penn & Teller, TV with Super Dave Osborne, scored at Maple Leaf Gardens, "sold" music to Kevin Smith, been in a commercial, and appeared homeless in a rap video. I'm a huge fan of golf, hockey, science, the Oxford comma, and equality. I currently write, create, and eat snacks.

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May 01, 2017

A little more than two years ago my family got some first-hand experience with the Ronald McDonald House organization. The charity that bears the name of the fast food chain's goofy clown mascot had been an enigma to me until then. What I discovered opened my eyes to something wonderful that truly makes a difference in the lives of families at times when it is most needed.

Ronald McDonald houses can be found all over the world. There are over three hundred of them and are usually neighboring a local women's or children's hospital. There was one across the street from McMaster Children's Hospital in Hamilton, Ontario when our daughter had surgery to correct a pretty bad case of scoliosis.

The houses allow families of children in hospital to have a place to live throughout the ordeal without the added burden of staying in a hotel and eating out for every meal.

We declined the actual Ronald McDonald House offer that was available to us because we were able to have one parent in the hospital with our daughter and the other drove the 45 minutes back home. However, at McMaster Children's Hospital, there was also a Ronald McDonald House room for people to use. It was outfitted with couches and televisions and had a kitchen stocked with food and beverages. It was a quiet sanctuary away from all the stress of the ward and it was only a hundred steps away.

I mention all this because Wednesday, May 3 is McHappy Day and some of the proceeds from hot beverage sales, Big Macs, and Happy Meals will be donated to Ronald McDonald House charities. Every year since the surgery our family has eaten McDonald's on that day and sometimes more than once.

I was all set to load up on Mc D's this year again but then the restaurant I hate to love went and did something stupid: they made it so that their restaurants were no longer safe for my son to eat at by introducing foods that contained peanuts and other nuts. This isn't normally a big problem, but this decision also came with the fact that the nuts would be open and not packaged or pre-mixed into the food. What this ended up doing was rendering every food they make at risk of containing traces of peanuts.

I still can't fathom what moron made that decision and how much more money they thought they would be able to make by doing it this way instead of a way that wouldn't contaminate all their other foods. I know a good number of other parents of kids with nut allergies who were just as confused and just as upset as I was. I even wrote a scathing letter to McDonald's (and posted it on my blog). I received a form letter response a week or so later saying that they were ensuring my letter made it into the proper hands but since then I have not heard anything. I don't expect to.

Suffice it to say I've sworn off McDonald's in protest of this asinine move, but with McHappy Day fast approaching I have to admit I have been torn. The good news is I think I have come up with an agreeable solution.

Ronald McDonald House is a registered charity around the world. What that means is that if you donate to them you get a tax receipt. What that means (at least as far as I know in Canada and the United States) is that you can claim that donation on your taxes and you will receive a percentage back.

So here's what I'm going to do on McHappy Day this year, and I am putting out an open call for people to join me:

On Wednesday, May 3, 2017, I am going to bypass the whole restaurant middleman and donate directly to Ronald McDonald House. Then, with the equivalent of what I'd get back on my taxes from making that donation, I'm going to go straight to Wendy's and buying dinner.