Ringing up the cost of no-call list

August 29, 2003|By Joe Stephen. JOE STEPHEN IS A REDEYE SPECIAL CONTRIBUTOR.

Soon, maybe the government will start telling us who we can and can't look at.

It'll be just like when we were growing up, in the back seat of the family car: "He's looking at me. ... She's touching me!" Nyah-Nyah-Na-Na-Nyah.

Exaggeration? Perhaps. But starting Oct. 1, the government will be telling some of us whom we can and can't call on the phone.

Since June, more than 41 million people have registered for the national do-not-call list, and the rest of you have until Sunday to add your name if you want to be on the very first list.

After Oct. 1, if a telemarketer calls a number on that list, it may cost the marketer up to $11,000 per call. Or, maybe it won't.

Turns out, the Federal Trade Commission says it isn't going to pursue individual complaints, only large actions against companies that are multiple offenders.

If you get an "improper" call, you can file a complaint--as long as the call isn't from a charity, political organization, telephone surveyor or a company you've done business with in the previous 18 months and provided you can get the name or telephone number of that company.

Next, the government is preparing to regulate unsolicited faxes and spam e-mail marketing.

Aren't we getting a little too sensitive here ? Don't get me wrong, I hate intrusive sales pitches just as much as you do. More than once, I've pounced on a ringing phone, expecting an important call, only to hear a pitch for insurance, research surveys or stock tips.

Does it bother me that, out of 150 e-mails a day, 100 are junk spam about herbal viagra, porn or pyramid schemes? You betcha.

But freedom of speech applies to everyone, even telemarketers. And obviously, telemarketing works on some level, or companies wouldn't bother doing it.

Now, don't mistake my stand on this list as sympathy. I'm not one of those "telemarketers are people too" types.

They know, going in, that people look upon them as intrusive, time-consuming weasels. Oh, people are verbally abusive and hang up on you? Tough. It's like taking the job managing the Cubs, then bitching about day games and yuppie fans.

I agree that we have a certain right to privacy. But what about unimpeded freedom? The do-not-call list will cost at least $18.1 million this year to establish and manage.

The FTC claims the costs will be covered by businesses who subscribe to the list and by the fines levied against offenders. They don't, however, offer details on the long-term cost of this program or projected revenues from it.

If the plan doesn't pursue individual complaints, how will the FTC collect fines?

In the meantime, the federal deficit grows, thanks in part to the war in Iraq and President Bush's tax cuts.

Federal funding to states is decreasing, there's less money available for things such as education and law enforcement, workers are being laid off, and here comes another federal initiative.

More red tape, more monitoring, more tax dollars spent. Most important, this is yet another instance of government sticking their noses just a little bit further into our lives.

Wouldn't it be easier for us to just say, "No, thank you"?

Or, you could treat telemarketers like I treat panhandlers. (At least the ones who claim to be homeless yet are sporting a new pair of Air Force Ones.)

Before they have a chance to say anything, ask them if you can borrow a dollar. It works every time.