Wednesday, March 5, 2008

I like this new Cleveland team. I like the way they do business. I get traded, and then they give me $20 million dollars.

That is some good shit.

I tell you this, $20 million gonna buy a lotta hotcakes. I had planned on just having a steak and a milkshake for my 1 o’clock lunch. Then maybe another steak and milkshake for my 1:30 lunch. But with this $20 million in my pocket, ain’t no reason I can’t go get myself a big stack of them hotcakes.

I know IHOP usually be for Sundays, but this different. I bet they let me in right away. I bet they’d even let me have a booth table, so long as they press the table against the other side of the booth so’s I can be accomodated.

Then, I’mma order me some hotcakes.

You get them hotcakes right off the griddle, and that shit be good. I bet I can even request a separate scoop of whipped butter for each cake, and that would be good as well. I bet, for $20 million, they even give me two kinds of fruit.

You know what would be good on them hotcakes? Chocolate cake.

I’m gonna wear a suit when I get them hotcakes. Because this is a double special occasion. I wonder if they could dip the hotcakes in eggs, so that I can have French hotcakes, because that would be very expensive and international. I bet that how Donald Trump eat them hotcakes.

"This is a double special occasion" keeps making me laugh for no good reason.

I love how sportswriters talk about what a great thing it is for these 3-4 teams to pick up guys that have a history of being fatasses because now they don't have to worry about weight. Nothing better than the idea of a defense built around a bunch of guys who get tired quickly and will probably smell like cake mix when they sweat.