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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Look, just stick with wishing us a happy Valentine's day, and we'll get along fine.

What's that? You can't spell "Valentine's?"

Oh. Well, just abbreviate it, then.

Clearly I didn't think that one through.

Maybe if you call it something else?

Or, you know, grab the piping bag and have a hand seizure?

Tell you what: how about we give you big plastic letters to spell out the word "love," and you just plop those on a cake? Eh? Nothing to write, nothing to draw - in fact, I'd be hard pressed to think of a single way anyone could POSSIBLY mess...

Happy Valentine's Day to the Cake Wrecks family! WOW, these cakes, they're... something special! We just saw Jonathan Coulton in concert on Sunday night, so maybe that's why as soon I as I saw the brain cake i started singing his song "RE: Your Brains".

Posts like these remind me that I'm not a native English speaker. I took me ages to see why VD would be inappropriate. Eventually (without turning to Google - afraid of NSFW results) I thought: "it must be short for veneral disease!" It's complicated, VD, STD, STI,... So many acronyms for the same thing! These wrecks make me so happy that me and my boyfriend don't celebrate Valentine's Day.

I'm sorry, but isn't there supposed to be an apostrophe in Valentine's Day? Celebrating the feast of St. Valentine? So "Valentine's" is a possessive? It's just that this is the one place where I can count on seeing proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation (except for on the caik's, of course)!

[Editor's note- Bwoops. You're absolutely right. I missed two apostrophes in the body of the post but in my defense, I was looking at the title which is meant to be plural so it doesn't need one. Good catch! -john (thoJ)]

*headdesk* - Loev it!I think those lips have a mouth...which is kinda freakin' my mind out right now.And I hate to point this out but Valentine's day has an apostrophe as opposed to valentines which are small, foldable cards preferably with cartoon characters on them. I only mention it because your snarky comment is about spelling it correctly in the first place. *cringe *sorry

You guys featured a "love day" cookie-cake in a red tray last year, and I've seen enough "Enjoy Your VD" cakes (e.g. more than zero) to think they're doing that on purpose, but I was not expecting the brain. Because nothing says romance like a giant wad of ABC gum with eyeballs.

I am embarrassed to say it took me a very long time (looking at the writing on the cake, looking at the "cake", looking BACK at the writing...) to figure out just what was going on with that brain cake. I'm just weird enough that, executed well, that would have been an awesome cake. The eyeballs did it for me!

Are those "LOEV" letters a set of cookie cutters? I think they are! So either they didn't actually have any appropriate flotsam available and decided to waste their actual cookie cutters, or they saw this as an excuse to jettison a set of cookie cutters that no one was buying — which would mean they're...

*sunglasses*

...both flotsam and jetsam.

*YEEEAAAAAAAAH*

Or maybe they genuinely thought someone would want to receive a set of cookie cutters as a Valentine's Day gift with their cake, which to me sounds just a step up from giving them a spatula with a red ribbon on the handle. I probably shouldn't be thinking too hard about the reasoning of people who can't even spell "love", huh?

#4 -- inventive interpretation of a classic dilemma -- when it comes to "love" do you go with your gut instinct or what your brain's/mind's telling you is ideal? Or, what's real and what's just frosting on top of it?

But in this case, my gut's telling me it's all frosting and no substance, and my brain is asking "how hard did you hit your head against the desk?"

#1 The electric piping bag never caught on because you have to write really fast to keep the icing from piling up. Of course, that just makes the letters pileupinstead.

#2 Hey, that's a perfectly innocent guitar. With three strings. All of your better-known Russian rock bands have these. (See 'balalaika' on Wikipedia.)

#3 'Be Mime'. In other words, let your hands do the talking. Know what I mean, eh? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.

#4 I bet it took a lot of guts to make this one. Oh, it's a brain. Well, that certainly ramps up the warm fuzzies. Speaking of which, nothing intended to be eaten by humans should be gray. (Cue 'foods that are gray' EPCOT in 3...2...1...)

#5 No. That much red frosting shouldn't exist, let alone be found in one place.

#6 NO.

#7 What does it say that I managed to decode 'Happy Love Day'? Starting to worry, now...

L is for the way you look at meO is for the only one I seeE is very, very... out of place. Stop the band -- we gotta fix this before the next take. Meanwhile, I have this odd urge to sing my alma mater's fight song. In the voice of Ol' Blue Eyes (Frank Sinatra, for you youngsters). As if.