This one’s for the word lovers out there

I received an email the other day from my friend, Brian Etheridge, who brought lexiphile jokes to my attention. I’d describe them as supercharged puns for people who love words. Here are 10 to help you start your Monday off right:

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

The thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

We’ll never run out of math teachers. They always multiply.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two-tired.

In a democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

A will is a dead giveaway.

When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

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