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Have you seen Shrek Forever After yet? Me neither. But I did watch the clip below and experienced a what-the-fuck moment: Shrek and his green ogre buddies have mini-vuvuzela ears!

Unless you have perfected the art of lodging your head very far up your own ass (an unusual talent you should not be ashamed of) you must have heard about the FIFA World Cup and the annoying horn called the vuvuzela, if not actually had someone blast the fucking plastic instrument of deafness in your unfortunate earholes. But it’s all in good anarchic fun. And FIFA were right to ignore the wankers who wanted a ban imposed on the noisy thing. Humans like to blow things.

The vuvuzela is crossing over. One day, Wimbledon and the US Open will be far more exciting sporting events with spectators blowing their vuvuzelas and possibly each other. Tiger may even wear his favourite golf shirt with his favourite tagline boldly printed on his manly chest: ‘blow my vuvuzela, beeyach’. Speaking of which, it won’t be long before the vuvuzela makes it into the adult film industry. You have an imagination. Use it.

The vuvuzela has become a cultural icon, a trending topic, it may become a fascinating porn prop and it has joyfully entered pop culture, as this Cyanide & Happiness strip confirms. And, thanks to Shrek, the vuvuzela is here forever after. Maybe invest in those ear muffler things.

The Moron

Follow my unholy joyride at your own peril. Be warned, careless insults and gratuitous profanity buzz around these pages like flies about a dead llama. But you will also read unbelievably profound wisdom that will completely blow your mind and make you come back for more. Or shoot yourself. Your choice.

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