Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Well, depending on who you are, and who you ask. This is yet another one of those government takeovers. But of course this isn't the opinion of the ignorant. Leave to them to shape political discourse and they'll tell you that it is nothing but reparations for the tens of thousands if not millions of unemployed black folks in America due to the economy. Not a bad idea actually; that is, unless you're not into the whole idea of evening the playing field via the great equalizer that is education. Or, if you're opposed to the eventual creation of more competition in the job market due to an influx of newly educated black workers. You know, black people who are now motivated to go college because of Student Loan Reform, and the following commercial:

Monday, March 29, 2010

So I heard Erykah Badu has a new song and video in which she gets butt-booty-nekkid. Knowhumtalmbout? I mean National Geographic naked with titties hanging out minus the bone in her nose. I'm talking so naked that as my man Dollar Bill said it, "You can see her public hairs." Apparently more than a few folks were upset with this display, as it has been the talk on Twitter recently.

So considering that I'm a few days away from major eye surgery; I wanted to be sure to get a glimpse of the woman who I happen to think possesses possibly the most powerful vagina and sexuality in the world... or at least the black community, before they ban the joint. Or before I totally lose all of my vision. Not that I'm one of these thirsty male Negroes or anything; I just wanted to see what the fuss is all about.

Check it out:

You know what? I totally get this video, and I think it's awesome! Oh how my people continue to die mentally as they continue to miss the message. Which when you think about it, actually speaks volumes to, and about, the very theme of the video. Here's a video which artistically captures the historical character assassination of the black woman; using Dallas TX., as the setting, circa the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. But yet, Neo-Negroes are grumbling and continue to be perpetually enslaved mentally all because of....

Nine suspected members of a militia group were charged Monday with seditious conspiracy and related charges, federal prosecutors said.

A federal grand jury in Detroit, Michigan, indicted six Michigan residents, two Ohioans and an Indianan on the conspiracy charges, plus attempted use of weapons of mass destruction, teaching the use of explosive materials and possessing a firearm during a crime of violence, U.S. Attorney Barbara L. McQuade and Andrew Arena, FBI special agent in charge, announced.

The five-count indictment unsealed Monday charges that since August 2008, the defendants, acting as a Lenawee County, Michigan, militia group called the Hutaree, conspired to oppose by force the authority of the U.S. government.

Let me get straight to the point. I think it's amusing that whenever a bunch of crazy white folks who are pissed off at the American government decide to engage in stupid shit, like create their own languages and defend themselves against a government that has ONLY ever looked out for their interests first, the media and the government itself never calls them terrorists. They are part of a "militia."

How quaint.

See if you were to substitute their names with Arabic or Persian ones, and change their "god" to Allah, it would be straight up terrorism. They would be insurgents, terrorists looking to harm the American people.

These people are a bunch of crazies, but they are no different than some weirdo hiding out in the hills of Pakistan or Afghanistan conspiring to take down the Americans and their government for being infidels ie Anti-Allah/Anti-Islam.

I guess it would make us look hypocritical if we took down terrorists in other countries while our own homegrown madasses ran unchecked.

Terrorists only come in shades other than white and religions other than Christian.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

So it's no shock that women don't appreciate the exploitation of women in these mags. Contrary to popular belief, some of these publications DO hide a decent article or album review beneath all the bikinis and booty so I'll continue to flip through them for just that.

Some say that men who condone the exploitation of women are worse than the women who allow themselves to be exploited. I don't feel like arguing that today. I don't care either way because I know something that most men & women don't: The cover girls of Maxim, King, Smooth, FHM, and Stuff aren't having sex with men like us!

They lie in their interview and say dumb stuff like.

"I just want a man who can treat me right. I need a regular guy."

You know why they say that?

Because it's regular guys who buy these publications, not the rich men that are taking them on trips to Tahiti for no reason. The interview gives you, 'Jim J McRegular Guy' the illusion of chance. You read the interview and you start thinking that you have a chance at one of these gorgeous women.

Newsflash asshole...You don't.

You want to see something funny ladies, watch a group of men look at one of these magazines. You'll see us all crowded around the magazine like a laptop with a porno playing. And then one dude in the group hollers out...

What are you talking about? You work 7 hours a week at Dairy Queen, Vida Guerra DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. You're not even on the Blizzard machine yet. You still make Chili dogs. Lower your expectations and give the girl at the Dollar Store your phone number. She's half way cute, her limp is kind of sexy, and taking her to Wal-Mart would be the equivalent of taking Vida Guerra to Tahiti.

At one time, the United States of America boasted of the very best educational system in the world.However, of late that system has declined precipitously;we now rank about 10th worldwide.And consider this statistic:A full seventy-five percent (75%) of African American and Hispanic students attend school in schools or school districts that are considered failing.

This means that within an educational system already rapidly careening toward crisis, African American and Hispanic school children are already perhaps there.But how did we get where we are now?What can we, or should we, reasonably expect from our educational system?

What can we do to fix our educational system, or at the very least, make it work for us?Join us as we consider these and many more questions and issues as we discuss "Public Education and the Minority Community."

Friday, March 26, 2010

[Editor's Note: I'm pleased to welcome and present to you the newest member of the writing team of this blog, folks. Give it up for my man Folk of the blog Black Folks Don't Swim.]

What's up people? Folk standing at the intersection of motherfvcking madness and reality in this b!tch. And I just wanted to share my absolute hatred of after-motherfvcking-market parts. Folk is an OEM (original equipment manufacturer) kind of guy. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to see jazzed up aftermarket shyt just to spice up a boring day. But to own that shyt. Come one. Before y'all get all crazy and thang, Folk ain't talking 'bout no 24's, dubs, or crazy stereos either. To keep this topic simple, Folk talking 'bout fake azz tiddies azz tiddies. That's right. Folk can't stand Aftermarket Tiddies. And Folk dares a motherfvcking man in the room to disagree. Now before y'all youngin's get all testosteroned up, let's look at the aftermarket tiddy in detail and then you can post up your disagreements.

Disclaimer: This discussion does not apply to those who have undergone cosmetic surgery after surviving breast cancer or some horrid accident that fvcked up your girls. Y'all exempt. So let us continue.

First: Quality Costs. We've all seen the woman with the bad boob job. It's no different than the motherfvcker who painted their whip with car paint in a spray can. You get what you fvcking pay for! If you can't afford the best aftermarket equipment then you can't afford to modify your OEM equipment. PERIOD! $

Second: Maintenance. Fellas while ya'll all giddy giddy over the double ds, y'all ain't thanking about the routine maintenance that has to be performed on the aftermarket tiddies. Every two years, it's recommended that a motherfvcker get a MRI to ensure these fvckers aren't leaking or have burst. $$

Third: Care. Can't be too rough with the aftermarket accessories because they damage way easier than the OEMs. That's right, don't grab on those fvckers too hard or too much. Remember rupture or bursting. Like to wrestle with your girl? Think twice if there are aftermarket tiddies in the place. Like to get rough while getting getting it, a little bondage, or role play? And watch that flower you want to pin on your girl, might puncture some shyt that will cost $$$ to repair!

Fourth: Replacement parts. Ask any motherfvcker with a nice ride that riding on some aftermarket shyt and they will tell you to be careful with they shyt because the shyt is expensive to replace... Well so are the tiddies and they will need to be replaced! The life span for aftermarket tiddies are 7-15 years. After which it is suggested that those fvckers are replaced. So those tiddies you love at 20, better not get to fond to them by time you're 35! $$$$$

Fifth: Decorum (some of you BETistic fvckers may need to wiki this word). Who the fvck puts 26" chrome rented wheels on a fvcking lexus anyway? Ladies, if your man is pressuring you to undertake major surgery to "enhance" yourself physically for him. Fvck him in the azz with a diamond laced broom handle and then pour some brown liquor in it as you walk out the door! Leave his fickle azz! He's no good and is not worth the treasure you truly are. And fellas, if your girl wants aftermarket tiddies... RUN B!TCH RUN! There's a 99.9999% chance she is insecure in who she is as a person and you ain't bout to be happy with a motherfvcker who is unhappy with themselves. $$$$$$$$$$

So what have we learned today? Aftermarket parts aren't all glitter and gold. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of how much the true costs (real and psychological) those fvckers really are over time. And ladies, love yourself for yourself and not some two bit motherfvcking man. There are plenty of men out here standing at the intersection of madness and reality who will love you small tiddies and all!

I think I might make this an ongoing meme on this blog. Yep, and I'll leave it up to you guys to decide the winner. Having said that, let's meet these misguided Negroes. Trust me, there is so much that I want to say about these gentlemen, but the last thing I'd like to do is to influence your vote. If you've been reading this blog long enough, you'll know that I'm not fond of the "slave catchers" around and among us.

These men are both Black Republicans, so this should make it interesting given the level of craziness associated with the GOP right now. Yep, those people have lost their rabbit ass minds this week - throwing bricks into buildings, sending death threats to lawmakers etc. - and in steps Kevin Jackson on MSNBC, who as he says, he "has never seen a black person lynched at a Tea Party." It's funny how these Negroes come out of the woodwork when white folks act a fool:

Next up is Corey Poitier - hopefully no relation to Sidney. Corey just so happens to be the lone Republican in a congressional race for Florida's District 17; a district that is majority African American. Corey is also Black, and well, just read about his antics below. You may not have heard about him or him how he referenced Obama at a meeting with his fellow Republicans recently. But like Kevin Jackson, he exhibits slave catching behavior:

Corey Poitier, the lone Republican in the race to replace Congressman Kendrick Meek in District 17, has a message for President Barack Obama: "Listen up, Buckwheat."

Poitier, a teacher at North Miami Beach Senior High who is also African-American, made the comments at a Broward County Republicans meeting while giving a speech against health-care reform.

Buckwheat was the name of an African-American cast member on the Little Rascals or Our Gang movie shorts. While some people say the shorts were the first in Hollywood history to portray black and whites as equals, others say Buckwheat and other African-American cast members were based on stereotypes and often not shown as smart as the others. Buckwheat was known for his catch phrase, "Otay," and unkempt Afro.

"I wasn't meaning him any harm. Maybe it was a little insensitive," Poitier tells WPLG. "It's a term that my brother and I use. It was kind of a way of saying 'dummy,' like when I say to my brother, 'Hey, Buckwheat, cut that out.' That's what it was." (source)

So there you have it, folks: a kneecap licker on television defending the actions of a few bigots, and a self loathing Negro referring to Barack Obama as "Buckwheat". This one's gonna be tough to decide, and I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts on this. Help me out as I expose the slave catchers of America.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

So George Bush and Bill Clinton have been out putting in work; they've been raising funds for the people of Haiti, who are still suffering even two months removed from the tragic earthquake that rocked their country. Yesterday, they both visited one of the many "tent cities" on the ground and shook a few hands in a meet the natives sorta moment. Their visit was slated to be an effort "to remind donors of the immense needs facing the recovery effort." Good idea; but take a look at this following clip and tell me what else we were reminded of. Oh and here's a hint: pay attention to George Bush's right hand after shaking a few hands:

Now I don't wanna pass judgment, nor mention the obvious "message" or perception - Kanye West already covered that angle. But I'll say that from what I read, Bush is somewhat of a germaphobe; he once infamously used a woman's shirt to wipe off his glasses. So in-spite of him reportedly having an aide give him "a big dollop of hand sanitizer" after shaking Barack Obama's hand. I won't be my usual race-baiting self and suggest that he has a problem with black people. Now his mother? That's a different story; and I wouldn't dare suggest the notion that the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

Anybody who reads this blog on the regular can tell you how much I highlight the plight of the urban negro in these economic times. As if we needed more proof and justification for a true jobs bill. In steps Marion "Suge" Knight. A name that in-spite of being knocked the fuck out by virtually unknown patrons at night clubs, still invokes fear. Yep, just ask Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg; I think they both still sit down to pee in their own homes because of the bald bully.

Check out what Suge who at last count only had $11 in his bank account has been up to lately; and yet another reason Obama n'em better make it happen with a jobs bill:

Suge Knight is a wanted man once again. The former Death Row Records head honcho allegedly beat and robbed rapper Yukmouth last night ... law enforcement sources tell TMZ.

Sources say it all went down at around 10 PM at a Ralph's supermarket in the San Fernando Valley.

According to a law enforcement source, Suge and roughly 10 members of his posse allegedly beat up Yukmouth and then took $92,000 worth of jewelry from him.

Sources say Suge and his entourage are suspects and cops want to question them.

We're also told there's a previous misdemeanor warrant out for Suge's arrest -- which makes it unlikely he'll visit the police department. (source)

Fuck is up with that Marion? Outside of a Supermarket? Posted up and knocking folks in the head these days? What, are you trynna get your street cred back after taking those ass-whoopins outside the club?

Forget that question. What's more important is how is Yukmouth able to afford $92, 000 worth of Jewelry? I mean there's no way he still has "I Got Five On It" money, especially after you adjust for inflation. Does Suge really think that cat still has $5 on it?

Well, only if he's doing those things that niggas certain citizens do to get by, I suppose. Which leads to another question: When did "gangsta rappers" start calling the cops and pressing charges? 'Sup with that Yukmouth?

See Barack, the streets ain't safe anymore, son! And until Negroes have jobs it's only gonna get worse. If Suge is gonna do that to broke-ass rappers. What do y'all think he's gonna do to regular folks like me and you, and all the old ladies out there as they cash their checks and go grocery shopping? Watch ya back, folks.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

It's not over as the Senate still has to vote on the reconciliation fixes to the health care bill. However, the greatly historic, and symbolic gesture, of president Barack Obama signing the bill today is a source of pride for me. Oh hell who am I kidding; him signing this bill makes me wanna get up and dance like I was in the Snoop Dogg's What's My Name video. Yes, I'm that happy, and I wish I had a drink or a freshly rolled blunt of some of that high quality medical marijuana right about now to celebrate; yep, its gottta be the medical marijuana and none of that illegal shit; you know how us black people do, right?

But nah, I can't be mad at Vice President Joe Biden for his latest gaffe as he fell victim to the now infamous hot mic today. I can't because ladies and gentlemen, this is a pretty big fucking deal, and has many positive implications politically and otherwise. Don't get me wrong, I'm not pretending that this bill is perfect; yes, stocks of drug makers have increased in the last day. But politics are all about compromise and that said, I see this as a significant start to something meaningful. Let's be honest, it's far better than Republicans have ever done, or a sharp stick in the eye.

That said, I appreciate the brutal honesty of our Vice President on the passing and signing of this bill. I mean what he said was nothing like when Dick Cheney told Democratic Senator Patrick Leahy to go "fuck yourself," on the floor of the senate. Criticize Biden all you want for what he said and where he said it. But realize, that he is absolutely correct! This is, a pretty big fuckin deal as it is history in the making. For me, even more so, because of the fact that it took a brother to make that happen. Especially in the face of the toughest opposition from the good folks at Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. aka the GOP. Overall, this is a victory for the people of this country contrary to what some may say. So yes, again, this is a big fucking deal.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Grandma used to always say that idleness is the devils playground. Well here today, thanks to social media, we're able to meet idle fools like Jay Martin pictured above. I swear this new social media age has exposed some of the dumbest minds that reside among us; minds who a bit on the attention starved side of society. So what do they do? They go out and sign up for a Twitter and or Facebook account, and then you get this:

Earlier today you met Solly Forrell, the conservative blogger now under investigation by the Secret Service for threatening Obama on Twitter. Well, here's another Twitter user helping to keep the Secret Service busy with his own death threats. According to his Facebook page, Jay Martin graduated from Vatterott College last year with an IT degree and currently resides in Federal Way, WA. His About Me Page says: "Socially aware, Deep thinker, Artistic, Hip Hop Aficionado, free thinker, Funny Guy." (source: Gawker)

Yep, and apparently he is "dead serious" about wanting Obama killed. Why you ask? Oh well, it had something to do with some Health Care Bill being passed last night; or something like that. At any rate, this idiot felt the need to express his frustrations on Twitter in this manner:

This muthaf*cka is gonna have the Secret Service crawling up in his asshole for his actions and all he's concerned with is getting some "street cred" from this? Now maybe he didn't read my blog several months ago where I showed you guys how Barack Obama is reading our tweets and blogs. But surely in this information age nobody is this foolish to send that type of message into cyberspace, no? Well, that's unless you're a "Deep Thinker", agraduate of Vatterott College, and "Socially Aware" as this turd claims to be. I swear, they never shoulda gave some of you Negroes money or computers - real thugs don't type nor tweet.

Check him out in this interview with Gawker:

GAWKER: Why were you tweeting death threats against Obama tonight?MARTIN: Eh.. I have no excuse for that. I don’t really wish death on him or anyone else
I was just being irrational and speaking on raw emotion But there’s no EXCUSE..I did it.. and yea.GAWKER: So when you said you were “dead serious” about wanting Obama dead what did you mean? Were you joking?MARTIN: No.. I wasn’t joking. Thats not something you joke about. Again.. I was highly upset and speaking out of anger. I did not mean what I said though.GAWKER: What about the legal aspect?MARTIN: As far as the FBI? I don’t really care about them. I said what I said.. And if they take action then so be it.GAWKER: Were you aware of how serious what you were doing could be? You’re not worried at all about the fact that you could be facing jail time?MARTIN: No I am Not. And I did not think about consequences. Again..I was speaking out of anger and acted irrationally. Had I been in a rational mind set.. I would not have said itGAWKER: so do you regret saying it?JAY: Yes. But not because he’s the president.. and not because Of possible jail time. As I said . I don’t wish death on anyone. So yes. I regret threatening another person to that extreme… If I could take it back. I would. But i can’t. So I’m willing to face whatever comes next.GAWKER: So you were speaking out of anger. What prompted your anger I’m guessing the health care vote?JAY: Yes. And my beliefs on it from what I have researched.GAWKER: Would you consider yourself a Conservative?JAY: I’m not political. I don’t believe our Government has its citizen’s best interest in mind whether Democrat or Republican.GAWKER: OK, so that’s why you’re against the health care bill.JAY: Basically yes.

So the big day finally arrived! For some reason, my children have been anticipating the arrival of the 2010 census form like Christmas. They found out that the census is only taken every ten years, and their schools and television commercials have been hyping it up so much that they saw it as a big cultural and societal event.

So, my wife filled out our part, person one and person two. She put herself first on the form, but it’s all good. Then she passed the form to my son so he could fill in the information for person three. And it went well until he got to the choices for race.

He read off the choices: “African American, Black, Negro. Negro? Wait a minute. Which block do I check?”

I informed him that he should just check that box and move on so his sister could fill out her section, but he refused to move on. Indignantly he said, “I’m African American. I’ll accept Black. But I’m not a Negro. If I check this box, I’m agreeing that I am indeed a Negro.”

Now, I’ve been looking on from the periphery at the whole controversy about “Negro” being included on the census. I haven’t paid very much attention to it, though, because it didn’t seem that much of a big deal. Keep in mind, two weeks or so ago I was called a nigger by a student, so Negro pales in comparison.

But can someone tell me what’s so wrong about the term Negro? And I am aware of the negative connotations surrounding the word; however, that does not mean I understand even after my son explained to me that when he hears the word, his mind automatically conjures up images of a servile, obsequious figure, debasing themselves so that they might receive favor. He says this is not what he seeks to be, and this is not what I’ve taught him up, so he does not understand why I do not understand why he objects so strongly to the word.

But at one time, even within my lifetime, Negro was the acceptable term used for African Americans. Is it generational?

Given the events of this weekend - you know, the Health Care Reform debate, Tea Party protesters spitting on lawmakers and calling them Niggers and Faggots [read it here]. Moving forward with other legislative issues that affect our lives. I think it's time to implement a new rule. Sure much of this madness is nothing new in American society. Let's be honest, most people my age wasn't around when those racist German Shepherds were biting chunks out of the freshly water-hose soaked asses of Negroes back in the day. Yep, so understandably, much of what we saw this weekend was quite shocking.

My guess is that we can expect more of the same behavior in the next three years (at least) that the Magic Negro sleeps in the White House. Speaking of which, ain't that Negro special? Not only can he fly, heal the sick, shoot a mean jumper. He can also get the seemingly impossible done in the form of Health Care Reform. Not bad for this country's second Black president, ain't it? But anyway, you can best believe that our friends on the right wing are going to pull out the big guns next time around. Yep, no more of that showing up on our turf and making us look like fools like you did mister skinny John Coffee.

So I propose that moving forward politically, that Jesse Jackson Jr. be allowed to whack a few fools in the head with his gavel. Yep, another "you lie," or "baby killer comment." Jesse is allowed to go oops upside your head a few times with precision. You get on twitter and suggest that the president of the United States be assassinated as one Black Republican did yesterday? Forget the Secret Service subjecting him to anal probes. Send Jesse Jackson Jr. in with his gavel to beat the devil out of that fool, and anyone else who has the audacity to show their ass from here on out. Fuck being civil; bust people in the head Jesse; make your daddy proud.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Well, on what seems like the eve of a very historical Congressional vote for Health Care Reform. The good folks over at Doofenshmirtz Evil inc. have decided to pull out all of the stops. Which is to be expected considering that all the cock-blockers from our high school days have grown up to become Republicans. Check out what happened in our nation's capital:

Preceding the president's speech to a gathering of House Democrats, thousands of protesters descended around the Capitol to protest the passage of health care reform. The gathering quickly turned into abusive heckling, as members of Congress passing through Longworth House office building were subjected to epithets and even mild physical abuse.

A staffer for Rep. James Clyburn (D-S.C.) relayed word to reporters that Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-M.D.) had been spit on by a protestor (the protestor was reportedly arrested by Capitol Hill police). Rep. John Lewis (D-G.A.) a hero of the civil rights movement was called a "n----r." And Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) was called a "faggot," as protestors shouted at him with deliberately lisp-y screams. Frank, approached in the halls after the president's speech, shrugged off the incident.

But Clyburn was downright incredulous, saying he had not witnessed such treatment since he was leading civil rights protests in South Carolina in the 1960s.

"It was absolutely shocking to me," Clyburn said, in response to a question from the Huffington Post. "Last Monday, this past Monday, I stayed home to meet on the campus of Claflin University where fifty years ago as of last Monday... I led the first demonstrations in South Carolina, the sit ins... And quite frankly I heard some things today I have not heard since that day. I heard people saying things that I have not heard since March 15, 1960 when I was marching to try and get off the back of the bus." (source)

Good to see Klan rallies make a comeback here in 2010, and in Washington DC no less! Personally, this is all a sign of the desperation of a few broke-ass knuckle-draggers that are influenced by wealthy assholes on talk radio (and television) who really could give a shit if any of them have health coverage. Noticeably silent are the Negro Enablers who belong to the Republican party.

Listen to these bafoons:

Of course to them none of this stuff ever happens and it is all figments of the imagination of White Liberals, and their mentally enslaved Negro followers like me. Um, don't wait for the Republican party higher-ups to condemn this behavior or even a formal apology because this is just democracy in action. Besides, the people who did this shit were all planted by the democratic party anyway.

Do you remember when over the summer, Texas governor Rick Perry threatened state secession? I don’t think anyone thought anything of it then; at the time, the right seemed particularly occupied with yelling out anything that seemed to express their extreme displeasure in the “Washington establishment” and the new socialist direction in which the country was heading, no matter how ridiculous it was or how ridiculous it made them seem.

Perhaps it was just coincidental that the face of the “Washington establishment” and the man leading that headlong charge into socialism just happened to be a black face, the first of its kind.

And whatever reasons Texans might give for supporting secession, the first few lines from the Texas Secede! Websiteseems to imply that the president at least figures in the desire to leave the union:

“Texas is a free and independent State, subject only to the Constitution of the United States…” (note that it does notstate…subject to the President of the United States…”…)

Now, I cannot insinuate race is a factor here because nowhere on this site can I find racist language, so I’ll resist making that charge. Let’s just say that Texans are somewhat intimidated by the change in American society and culture, no matter how minute, that is suggested by President Obama’s election.

However, if the secessionist movement does not gain ground, Texans have found an alternate means of affecting the historical trajectory of the nation; they’ll just rewrite history. Last week the conservative heavy Texas State Board of Education voted to transform the Texas social studies and economics textbooks into purveyors of conservative ideals and principals.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

I haven't given two shits about Tiger Woods or anything even related to him, but this one was too good to pass up. Who knew that one man's choice to cheat on his wife would be the comedy Gods' gift that keeps giving. So we all know he was busted by his wife via every players nemesis - the numbers in the cell phone. But now, details of his text messages, or as the young folks call it - sexting - has been released.

And lemme tell you, not that I care that Mr. Tall Teeth is into that rough sex thing? In his exchange with porn star, Joslyn James? It's the fact that he asked her if she was into the whole "can I pee on you," thing that cracks me up. Maybe that's the secret to his golf game; peeing on women. R. Kelly would be so proud.

Read the following excerpt from the exchange between him and her. And when you do, read it with Tiger Woods' voice in your head because it makes the experience hilarious. If you don't do that, I promise you it will be as disgusting as 2 girls 1 cup. I don't know about this sexting thing; the shit sounds dull as hell to me, and also a waste of keystrokes, but to each his own I suppose. Thank God his sex tape never surfaced:

Well, in keeping with the "We hate fat people" meme that has assaulted us in the blogosphere thanks to Howard Stern, and Jaime Foxx calling Gabourey Sidibe Notorious P.R.E.C.I.O.U.S. a la Biggie Smalls. Allow me to go ahead and agree that being obese poses serious health risks.

Many people have offered up this fact in commentary on posts about Gabourey Sidibe and criticisms of her weight problem and her future in Hollywood. There's no secret that being overweight limits ones ability to do certain things, but um, acting isn't one of 'em. That said, miss me with that "she needs to lose weight because she's unhealthy," crap.

When did being overweight stop any of the many overweight Caucasian actors and actresses out there? I mean if she drops dead tomorrow from a heart attack, what impact will it have personally on your life, other than to motivate you to get off your ass and hit the gym. It's her life, and her choice to be an actress, and I'm pretty sure she knew first hand what she would be up against by being outside of societal norms.

Now, here's a story for you to checkout about a gentleman who was fired for being morbidly obese. Yeah, check this out and tell me if upon seeing it, that your concern was for his health as opposed to him being able to physically perform as required with his choice of employment:

And to think all this time I thought Chris Farley was dead. Oh well, don't you feel safer now? I would say that there's always work at the post office but in this economy that's a thing of the past; but hey, there's always acting, right?.At least by doing that he can pretend to be a cop without having his weight becoming an issue.

Yep, apparently youse people need to get the hell out of their stores and go the f*ck back to Africa as John Turturro suggested back in the movie Do The Right Thing. Uh-huh, did youse people think you could get away with making jokes about White folks n'em having pancake asses and being horrible dancers without consequences. Uh-huh, I see how youse people laugh at the pics of us on peopleofwalmart.com:

WASHINGTON TOWNSHIP, N.J. – A Walmart store announcement ordering black people to leave brought chagrin and apologies Wednesday from leaders of the company, which has built a fragile trust among minority communities.

A male voice came over the public-address system Sunday evening at a store in Washington Township, in southern New Jersey, and calmly announced: "Attention, Walmart customers: All black people, leave the store now."

Shoppers in the store at the time said a manager quickly got on the public-address system and apologized for the remark. And while it was unclear whether a rogue patron or an employee was responsible for the comment, many customers expressed their anger to store management.

"I want to know why such statements are being made, because it flies in the face of what we teach our children about tolerance for all," said Sheila Ellington, who was in the store at the time with a friend. "If this was meant to be a prank, there's only one person laughing, and it's not either one of us."

Ellington, of Monroe, and her friend Patricia Covington said they plan to boycott the retailer until they're assured the issue has been addressed so it doesn't happen again.

The pair said they were stunned when they heard the announcement and initially believed they had misheard it. But once the words sank in, they grew angry.

"I depended on Walmart for all my needs, because the store has pretty much everything you could want," Covington said. "But until this issue is addressed in a way I'm comfortable with, I can't walk through those doors again."

Officials with Wal-Mart Stores Inc., based in Bentonville, Ark., said that the announcement was "unacceptable" and that they're trying to determine who made it and how it happened. (source)

Sorry Sheila, you and your homies can boycott Wal-Mart or have a march on Washington all you want. The truth of the matter is that it will make no difference - you and your friends will be right back shopping there in 2 weeks. What, youse people think some silly boycott is gonna shut down the worlds largest retailer? Besides, America has improved and is now post-racial; and, all need for collective activism has diminished.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Yesterday, four-star Army General David Petraeus told a Senate panel that "the time has come" for the military to rethink its stance on gays in the military. Good to hear that the time has finally come and if I had the chance to ask, I'd like to know what the hell took so long. Or more specifically, why is it still even an issue when the president has the power by executive order to have it repealed. I mean, we are at war on two fronts, no? Doesn't the Commander in Chief have the power of executive order to put an end to this?

Of course Petraeus' line could be seen as just lip service until further action; which can be quite frustrating for opponents and activists against the current policy. Especially the men and women who have served their country only to be kicked to the curb as a result of being outed. You know, people like former Air Force Sargeant Jenne Newsome pictured above? Yep, her dismissal has to be one of the most bizzare to date; at least that's what I think about it and the questions it raises:

Jene Newsome played by the rules as an Air Force sergeant: She never told anyone in the military she was a lesbian. The 28-year-old's honorable discharge under the "don't ask, don't tell" policy came only after police officers in Rapid City, S.D., saw an Iowa marriage certificate in her home and told the nearby Ellsworth Air Force Base.

The Rapid City Police Department says Newsome, an aircraft armament system craftsman who spent nine years in the Air Force, was not cooperative when they showed up at her home in November with an arrest warrant for her partner, who was wanted on theft charges in Fairbanks, Alaska.

Newsome was at work at the base at the time and refused to immediately come home and assist the officers in finding her partner, whom she married in Iowa - where gay marriage is legal - in October.

Police officers, who said they spotted the marriage license on the kitchen table through a window of Newsome's home, alerted the base, police Chief Steve Allender said. The license was relevant to the investigation because it showed both the relationship and residency of the two women, he said. (Source)

So lemme get this right: they took a peek in her window and saw her marriage license? Um, and they were able to call the base and relay this information which subsequently lead to her dismissal? I don't know about you, but that just doesn't seem right to me. What it is, is an invasion of privacy, plain and simple. Hopefully the complaint she has filed against the police department in conjunction with the ACLU goes somewhere because this just doesn't seem right. Newsome is of the opinion that the cops did what they did in retaliation for her refusal to come to her home to assist them in the apprehension of her partner. You know what? I believe her.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The last thing I need right now is to get my blood pressure all worked up. So for this one I'll be nice and just say that if I was Gabourey Sidibe I'd tell muthaf*ckas to kiss my entire fat black ass. Of course I understand that she won't actually get all Della Reese on folks. But this is why I have a blog; and this is why I'm about to get medieval on that ass as a voice of reason with much righteous indignation. The nerve of these people coming out of the woodwork offering her advice on what she has to do as if they really give a damn about her and any potential success acting or otherwise.... ole cracka-ass-crackas!

Offering her "help" in the form of a one year supply pf diet pills as the CEO of AcaiSupply.com did recently, "in return for her glowing testimonial after she sheds her unwanted pounds," is an insult [click to read his open letter to her here]. Yeah, and supposedly he's worried about her health and not the bottom line which is profits, right? OK, so she didn't win the Oscar for Best Actress for her role in Precious. But let them tell it, it was because she's a talentless fat bastard who will never work again in Hollywood. Any day now it wouldn't be a surprise if a privileged melanin deficient asshole other than Howard Stern publicly suggests that she bleaches her skin.

Shit, one would think that Sidibe showed up on the red carpet with a bucket of KFC, hooked up to an I.V. that pumped BBQ sauce into her arm in need of an intervention the way "certain people" are talking. But hey, white folks are into saving Negroes these days thanks to Sandra Bullock and the movie The Blindside, so I guess this is all to be expected.

Well RiPPa they are kinda telling the truth. Black women have a hard time as is getting jobs in Hollywood and being the new fat kid in town sure as hell don't help much. Hollywood ain't too welcoming of black women or black folks much less the fat ones. Shit, the only fat black bitch they love is Oprah and you damn well know that!

Of course I know that, but why does it have to be this fat black chick that catches hell? I mean I hate to think that people are of the idea that Gabourey is in fact a fried chicken stealing, low self esteem having, uneducated fat black chick in real life. I know life sometimes imitates art, but damn; I mean what the fuck! Is it too much to celebrate her success thus far without throwing that other shit into the mix? What, Hollywood ain't in love with the Hattie McDaniel types unless they're playing 'Mammy', and serving white folks in movies?

My 16yr old and I had a conversation this past weekend. A conversation where she revealed to me that for a long time she has seen herself in the mirror as an "ugly black beast." Mind you, this is the very same 16yr old who has serious aspirations of becoming an actress and standing on stage holding an Oscar one day. Her mother, Mrs. RiPPa, seems to think that it is just a phase that all girls go through, but I think differently. I happen to think that her feelings have developed over time as she has been inundated by images of a "certain standard" of beauty. And obviously that's a lot for an impressionable teenager to internalize without feeling any pressure to look and feel adequate.

Ultimately, I think that what we're seeing right now with Gabourey Sidibe, speaks volumes of a larger problem or issue in our society. A problem I might add, that no amount of diet pills or exercise can change.

Monday, March 15, 2010

You know it's really hard to believe that it is already the middle of March; damn, where did the last couple of months go? The next thing you know Christmas is gonna be on us all over again. Speaking of which, you know if we all pulled together and pitched in I'm sure we could buy Rush Limbaugh a Toyota Prius for Christmas. Yeah, just a thought, folks. And speaking of religious themed holidays and thoughtfullness. Check out what the Easter Bunny has been up to in Michigan these days:

AUBURN HILLS - A number of African-American families in Auburn Hills, Mich., said they found racist messages inside plastic eggs left in their yards.

WDIV-TV, Detroit, said Monday the eggs found outside certain area residences Sunday included notes referencing the Aryan Nation as well as certain racial slurs.

Shamir Lyles told the TV station she saw firsthand the impact of the notes as a girlfriend's son opened one of the eggs and read its hateful message.

"He was shocked. He didn't know what it was, he thought it was the Easter bunny," Lyles said. "I was really shocked. I mean, you know the feelings are out there and the thoughts are there, but to just be openly displayed like this ... I was really kind of shocked this happened in our area."

WDIV said the incident is under investigation by police.

Damn, what ever happened to the good old days when toilet papered a house, throw eggs at it, or burn a cross on the front lawn? Something tells me that somebody in Michigan at least, is taking this "Jesus was a black man," thing too seriously. Yep, especially when they killed him on a cross some 2000yrs ago, only to wake up three days later and eventually become the president of the United States. But then again, he was handing out money to Negroes in Detroit not too long ago....

[Editor's Note: I don't know if you noticed, but I've been away for the past week or so. I've been having problems with my eyesight which is directly related to being diabetic and having high blood pressure. That said, I decided to repost this entry from almost 2yrs ago. In a few days I should be back in full effect]

I've been a resident of Memphis TN for about 4yrs now. My city has the dubious distinction, of being one of the most obese cities in the country. Everywhere I go, I see fat people. Hell, since moving here I've picked up 50lbs. Imagine that! I was already a fat bastard, but moving to Memphis sure as hell didn't help. Recently I heard the statistic on the local news; these results happened to be the result of research via some gov't agency. I don't always believe everything I hear when it comes to statistics, but it was a recent visit to a restaurant here that opened my eyes.

A couple weeks ago, our family went out to eat. Now mind you, we don't eat out much, so this was a rare event. We went to a restaurant that's fairly new around here. The restaurant is called 'Chow Time', and was described in a commercial as the biggest Chinese restaurant with a buffet in Memphis. Now I love Chinese food. Yup, I love it even as much as black men love bar-b-cue, and I don't care if it's dog or cat meat being served. At this point, I've eaten the shit enough to not even care if my plate starts barking. I mean, that's how much I love Chinese food, and I'm not playing.

So we pull up to this restaurant after having to get directions to find it. Upon parking, my first thought was on just how huge this place was. For a restaurant, the building was unusually large in my opinion. Right then and there I knew I was gonna be in Chinese food heaven. Upon entering the restaurant, I noticed something weird. As I entered the door, I noticed a sign which had the price of the buffet on it. Nothing unusual about that right? Right! Except, at the bottom of the price list it said that there was a minimum charge of $3 for people sitting at tables and not partaking of a meal. Either these people are offended that somebody would sit there and not eat this great food, or they're conscious of the fact that niggas love gettin over.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Have you ever faced a situation that seemed insurmountable?Have you ever gone through something that threatened to leave you defeated and broken?

I am going through something right now.In fact, I have been going through something for about the last week or so that has left me unable to see anything except shadows.During the time I have been unable to see, Seattle Slim of Happy Nappy Headhas so graciously taken the time to maintain by blog for me.And for that I am grateful.In addition, I have askedMax Reddick of soulbrother v.2 to compose this announcement for me this morning.He will also be contributing to the blog later this week.

But before you begin to feel sorry for me, please don’t, because I will overcome this only to emerge on the other side better, stronger, wiser.People must go through things in life and the resulting narrative of triumph, or overcoming, is what makes life beautiful.

And on the BlogTalkRadio program, Freedom through Speech, which I co-host with Max Reddick, we will be discussing that very same thing tonight—the narratives of people who have persisted and persevered against great odds in a show entitled “How I Got Over:The Testimonial Show."

And we will perhaps feature your narrative too if you are willing to just tune in and call in.Nevertheless, this is a broadcast that you do not want to miss.You can listen or comment by dialing the show’s call-in number at 914-803-4881 or by simply going to our BlogTalkRadio page by just clicking here.

Friday, March 12, 2010

As someone who considers herself a neo-immigrant here to the United States, I've always found that there is one thing that bridges the racial gap here in the United States is the collective spewing of vitriol towards immigrants.

African-Americans and Caucasian-Americans to see eye to eye on something, and it's usually disdain for immigrants. Real talk, I've seen it and experienced it. I find it annoying and confounding to be honest. I mean, aren't there better things to bond over?

The latest to engage in Pure F*ckery is baseball player Torii Hunter, who engages in a little bit of xenophobia and INTRA-racism.

"People see dark faces out there, and the perception is that they're African-American," Hunter told the USA Today. "They're not us. They're impostors. Even people I know come up and say, 'Hey, what color is Vladimir Guerrero? Is he a black player?' I say, 'Come on, he's Dominican. He's not black.' "

"As African-American players, we have a theory that baseball can go get an imitator and pass them off as us," Hunter added. "It's like they had to get some kind of dark faces, so they go to the Dominican or Venezuela because you can get them cheaper. It's like, 'Why should I get this kid from the South Side of Chicago and have Scott Boras represent him and pay him $5 million when you can get a Dominican guy for a bag of chips?' ...I'm telling you, it's sad." (Source)

Well, then folks, I guess I apologize for my time here and on HappyNappyHead.com. I guess, I'm not black at all. Fancy that!

*Mulls this over*

Hey, I'm not black!!! Sweet! Now, I'm going to find a race to stick to. I mean with my kinky, curly afro, full lips, high cheekbones, and button nose, I should be able to fit right in with white folks! Hell yeah! See you later, negroes!

*end sarcasm*

Seriously though, it's comments like these that continue to form rifts betwen African-Americans and their cousins from other countries. Not to say, they are the only ones who encourage these rifts. Trust me, I know it works both ways. However, let me make this clear. We (black immigrants from other countries) are not here to steal shit from you. We are not here to negate your time here or phase you out. You don't have to view us the way your white cousins view Mexicans. It's not a big deal.

And the comment about chips? Real classy, Torii.

Hunter went on to say that he was not being racist, but he was. It's called internal racism and that's exactly what I got from that comment. His own notions about how ass backward we are in our home countries is what inspired that "chips" comment.

Furthermore, how can ANYONE mistake a guy like, say, Sammy Sosa (before the whitening), or Wilkin Rosa for anything other than black? He's darker than I am! If Wilkin and Sammy ain't black (pre-fuckery) then I'm as white as porcelain.

We face or faced racism in our home countries, at times even worse than in the United States, because we have no one to protect us. Colorism is a huge problem which only makes matters worse. Yet, to some we're not black...

My advise to Torii is shut the ---- up and don't speak on matters you have no knowledge about. Chances are that if he were educated, he would've never made such a moronic comment. A "project" here pales in comparison to the shacks in bogs and swamps that I've seen in Panama, and guess who lives in them? There's no running water, there's most likely no electricity. They are the first to die in cholera or dengue fever outbreaks. Nobody gives a shit either.

This is not a pissing contest. I just want to remind people like Torii that we have a LOT in common, and can learn a lot from each other. I love my West-Indian people and culture to pieces, but the resilience of my African-American cousins, and their strength to endure their history in this country is awe-inspiring. I appreciate you because if it were not for you, I would not be able to be here. It's harder for a "negrita" like me to find work in Panama, but thanks to your efforts HERE in this country, this "negrita" is working here.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

You know what would make my lifetime, aside from seeing my kids graduate, get married and live a happy, productive, life? Seeing Rush Limbaugh pack up his shit, drama and venom included, and just bounce out.

Now, I am distressed because Costa Rica is Panama's neighbor to the north, and that's too close for comfort. I don't want him any closer to my family than necessary. I would KINDLY pay for his one-way ticket to the northernmost area of the North Pole.

Public Health Care – Caja Costarricense de Seguro Social (CCSS)
The Costa Rican healthcare system is rated very highly on an international level, and the country’s citizens enjoy the health and life expectancy equal to that of more developed nations. These accolades come courtesy of strong, universal health insurance and excellent public and private hospitals.

Costa Rica’s public health insurance system, commonly known as the Caja, is available country-wide to all citizens and legal residents. There are ten major public hospitals – four in San Jose, including the Children’s Hospital – affiliated with the Caja. For non-emergencies and everyday medical care, small clinics, known as EBAIS (pronounced ay-vy-ice), are located in almost every community.

What I find absolutely mind-boggling about venomous, hypocritical snakes like Limbaugh (and the Queen of Idiotic Mouth Breathers Sarah Palin) is how they so casually spout of said hypocrisy and go unchecked by the droves of morons who follow them and take their words to heart.

Even if Rush Limbaugh did NOT know about Costa Rica's health care system, I find it insulting that he's talking about going to a country he knows NOTHING about (because EVERYONE just wants to have shitty health care like in U.S.A), but saw fit to make assumptions about.

I know Costa Ricans enough to know that Limbaugh is not welcome there. With that said, I'd rather they beat his ass and throw him in the jungle handle him, than us.

Matter of fact, sign me up to be his stewardess. I'm giving that little viper everything he needs on his flight to nowhere.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Evelyn Rasco has been living a nightmare for more than 15 years. "It's torture," she sobs over the phone from her Pensacola, Florida home. "It tortures me on a daily basis." The nightmare began on Christmas Eve in 1993 when Rasco's two daughters, Jamie and Gladys Scott, left a mini-mart near their home in Scott County, Mississippi. Their car broke down, and they hitched a ride from two young men, one of whom they knew. But later that evening, the men were robbed at gunpoint by three teenagers in another car. The robbers got away with an estimated $11 and no one was hurt, but police accused the Scott sisters of setting the victims up. Although the young women denied having any involvement and had no criminal record, a jury found them guilty of armed robbery. On October 13, 1994, a judge ordered them to each serve double-life sentences in the Central Mississippi Correctional Facility, where they remain today. "It is about race," says Chokwe Lumumba, a political activist and attorney who's now representing the Scotts. "I think it would be unimaginable that two white women would be in this situation." Lumumba is now in the process of filing a request to Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour, asking for clemency for the Scotts, who are not eligible for parole until 2014. He's also working to appeal the conviction, which was first denied in 1996. He says his hope is to find the two co-defendants in the case who initially testified against the Scott sisters under police pressure (and served 10 months through a plea bargain), but later recanted their statements. "That could give life to another post conviction motion... that would be significant," says Lumumba. But time is of the essence. Jamie, 38, suffers from kidney failure, and according to Rasco, will likely die if she doesn't receive a kidney transplant. She says Gladys, 34, even offered to donate her own kidney, but the Mississippi Department of Corrections (MDOC) will not allow the procedure. It also denied requests from Rasco and other family members to grant Jamie a medical release, stating an inmate must be classified as terminal or totally disabled.

My heart breaks for these women, their children and their families. Yet, I remain hopeful that we can do something. My only question is WHY haven't we done something yet?

Bloggers were instrumental in creating and pushing the Jena Six (or Jena 6) movement which culminated in some modicum of fairness for the six teens who were going to be royally hosed for some old bullshit.

I know that we can make that kind of change happen, but the response in regards to these two sisters has been "cool." Is it because they are women? I hate to say it, but I think so.

Mind you, I don't want to take on the tone of "Us vs. Them" as it relates to black men and black women, but I am pointing out that once again, black women are shown to be the least protected, least cared about group in this country (and the world in general). Maybe it's age old stereotypes about us that have helped to doom the Scott Sisters, what with people clutching to those as truth and eventually believing this two women were up to no good.

People are asking to "Free Weezy" but there's little fanfare from us as a black community to "Free the Scott Sisters" and that is being watched. We are capable of achieving great things, and achieving fairness. It may take more work, but we're good for it. We can make a difference in 2010 that could end such a great offense to justice. Whoever sentenced these two women launched a personal attack on black women, and fully intended for them to die or waste away in prison; break them in prison.

I wasn't there, and I don't know what happened. However, I am 100% sure that a robbery of $11 by these sisters--this is hypothetically speaking--did not and does NOT warrant this excessive, and obscene sentence, even if they did do it.

Write to your representatives, congressmen, and write everyone you think could be of assistance and bend their ear to look into these sisters. Let's see if we can build up a big enough movement and web presence to let Mississippi know that we are watching and we do care about these women.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Look, domestic violence is no laughing matter and not even I can "go there" on this one. But the irony of this story is astounding, considering the fact that domestic violence seems to almost always be a one-sided issue:

A 45-year-old woman, charged with ending a domestic dispute by killing her 26-year-old husband of five days, is a registered lobbyist for a group fighting domestic violence.

Arelisha Bridges was ordered held without bond in the Fulton County Jail. She is scheduled for a preliminary hearing later this month on charges of felony murder, murder, aggravated assault and possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony.

Officials said Bridges claimed she was unemployed. But records show she is a lobbyist for an organization called the National Declaration for Domestic Violence Order; its Web site says the group is pushing legislation to create a database of those convicted of sex crimes or domestic abuse.

Usually an accused felon will appear at a preliminary hearing a day later, but Bridges' hearing was within hours of the shooting death of Anthony Rankins. Officials said the court appearance was moved up because of the unusual circumstances around the crime.

Witnesses told police that Bridges was wearing a nightgown and a shower cap as she argued with Rankins on the sidewalk on North Avenue near West Peachtree Street around 10:45 p.m. Monday.

And moments later, witnesses said, they heard shots. They said she then "calmly walked away."

A MARTA police officer stopped her as she was getting into her car, perhaps to return to her home nearby on Centennial Olympic Park Drive.

According to Atlanta police, Bridges told investigators that she and Rankins had been dating for a few months and were just married on Feb. 24. (Source)

Of course the nature of the argument is unknown at this time. But with her being 45, and her him being 26yrs old. I think it's safe to assume this to be a case of "When Cougars Go Wild". Yep, walking around in a housecoat and shower-cap has always been a dead giveaway that something just ain't right to me. I'm sorry, but that's the way I look at women who in public present themselves in that manner. And they were only married five days too?? She calmly walked away from the scene??What the hell happened?? Any guesses?

This painting by Margaret Bowland (MargaretBowland.com) is so haunting. Oddly enough when I see this painting, I see myself as a child.

I remember wearing the tons of barettes and hair balls (dunno what they're called lol) to subdue my thick tuft of kinky hair. I remember the routine I had to go through every morning just to make my hair look "presentable." Anything else was uncivilized.

I also remember living in a foreign country that really didn't prize people that looked like me, and it showed. I remember feeling not really all that beautiful unless I could swing my pretend hair all around (I used a towel lol). Then I would wish my hair would magically be straight one day.

This may or may not be Margaret Bowland's intent, but that's how I see this portrait. I don't just see myself, I see so many of my black friends back home, some girls I knew and didn't like, but recognized their affliction. This little girl is a lot of us. It actually made me teary eyed because I can't believe I looked like this; we looked like this. Sure, we don't have the paint on our faces, but it's there, isn't it?

Little black girls have so much sadness they experience because the "beat down" begins early for them. It began early for me. I can't be too mad though, because I would never be able to appreciate what I have now had I not fought to get it, hold on to it and learned to love it; get to know it. It's confidence, pride, knowledge of self.

If I had to reimagine this little girl to be me, she would start off like this. The paint would get thicker through her tween years, and maybe a bit in her late teens. It would gradually start to fade in her early twenties, and it would be washed off vigorously, almost violently, by her late twenties. The hair balls and barettes would be gone, and that hair would stick right out. And that downcast look would be the biggest smile you've ever seen.

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