'DWTS': Big goof means no one sent home

For Baby Boomers who watched “The Mickey Mouse Club,” Wednesday was Anything Can Happen Day. For “Dancing With the Stars,” that was Monday night — anything could happen and did.

With only eight couples left to compete, there were still two hours to fill and that's why the “Switched-Up Challenge” marathon was added after all the pairs had performed their individual dances. Oh, during those dances, Elizabeth Berkley Lauren and Val Chmerkovskiy received the season's first perfect score of 30 for their cha-cha-cha! Wow!!

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For the marathon, dancers were divided into two teams, and then points for lasting the longest — with crazy switches in tempo, music and dance styles — were added to the scores, which were supposed to be added to last week's viewers' votes to determine who would be eliminated. I swear, this is becoming more like a math challenge each week!

But anything could happen, remember? At show's end, host Tom Bergeron named the couples who were safe and was left with Jack Osbourne and Cheryl Burke, and Bill Engvall and Emma Slater. Cue the dramatic music! Jack and Cheryl were safe, but before Emma could summon up tears, she and Bill were declared safe, too!! No one was eliminated, due to the technical glitch last week when the wrong phone numbers were posted for the East and Central time zones! So none of the viewers' votes were counted “in all fairness.” All this excitement almost gave me the vapors!! Another surprise was that Brooke Burke-Charvet looked fantastic and didn't do too many interviews. Wow!

Back at the beginning, after an opening number choreographed by Lacey (DWTS) and brother Benji Schwimmer of “So You Think You Can Dance,” the couples were off and boogying. First up were Bill and Emma doing a tango ... to Jimmy Buffet's “Cheeseburger in Paradise.” What? Since when is that tango music? Oh well, they came up with a cute storyline and did an OK tango that got scores typical for this overscored season. Head judge Len Goodman thought it was like a cheeseburger — sharp and tangy, and overall, well-done. Judge Bruno Tonioli pointed out that Bill lost the smoothness of the footwork, and judge Carrie Ann Inaba called it a “strangely odd combination of humor and light passion,” but that Bill's steps were too big. Tom's cheeseburger pun: “Bill was In-N-Out of step.” Ugh.

Clad in gold and jewels, Elizabeth was ready to rock the house with her cha-cha-cha with Val. Her footwork was spot-on, her timing was perfect and it was hot, hot, hot. As Elizabeth slinked up to Bruno at the judges' table, he rained compliments upon her — “so sexy, so clean, so sharp. Brilliant!” Carrie Ann compared Elizabeth to a white panther, said she listens to everything the judges say and Carrie Ann said she loved it! And Len said, “The more I see, the more I like. Your hips? Hypnotic!”

Next up were Leah Remini and Tony Dovolani, who recovered from terrible scores last week by doing a quickstep and doing it very well. Leah looked relaxed and confident for once. Carrie Ann said, “That might be the biggest turnaround that I have even seen.” Len said it was like chutes and ladders — way down and then way up, and Bruno said it was like “another Leah” and praised her “personal assistant” at rehearsal — Jennifer Lopez.

Brant Daugherty and Peta Murgatroyd performed a tango that was better than Bill and Emma's, by far. Len said it had no gimmicks and was “like a glass of dry white wine: sharp, crisp and absolutely corking!” Bruno pointed out that Brant lost his balance a couple of times, especially at the very last moment, but he loved to see Brant's range. Carrie Ann said it was incredible for technique but then compared Brant to a Ken doll and meant it as a compliment, I think. Huh?

Amber Riley and Derek Hough had the samba, but Amber had a bad week, breaking down in tears and having trouble with the steps. However, she came through and Bruno thought she did everything perfect. Carrie Ann called her “fierce” and that the dance was a turn-on. Then Len did his picky part, even calling himself a party pooper. He thought the dance was “a tad repetitive,” but then called Amber a “fantastic dancer.” There are rumors, only rumors, that Len may be leaving after this season — he may find the stress too much.

A paso doble by Jack and Cheryl just didn't have the intensity it needed. Jack's efforts to be stern and his failure to keep the correct posture for the dance didn't win the higher scores. Carrie Ann thought it was “one dimensional” and that he was trying too hard to be stiff. Len said there was one small mistake but that the rest was top-notch, but Bruno pointed out that Jack's timing “wasn't as good as usual.” Len's scores were up when the others were down, and vice versa. Even Tom called Len, “an enigma, unpredictable tonight.”

Nicole Polizzi and Sasha Farber did a light and summery foxtrot and Nicole really smiled and seemed to be having a good time. Len called it “happy hour — I'm happy, you're happy, the audience is happy — what's not to like?” Bruno said she extended her lines well but cautioned her that the extensions need to last throughout the dance. Carrie Ann said, “You have improved the most from everybody, you turned into, like, a ballerina,” and Nicole reacted with delight.

The final individual dance was a Viennese waltz by Corbin Bleu and Karina Smirnoff that was done to the music from “The Game of Thrones.” They became so wrapped up in the drama that the dance suffered — even my husband pointed out that they never were in hold and that's not a waltz. Bruno called it “an epic melodrama” but that Corbin lost his lines with the theme. Carrie Ann thought it was dramatic and that the passion worked, but there were not enough of the dance in hold. Len said, “People say I'm cranky but I'm consistent. There was nothing in the ballroom hold. I really didn't feel it was a Viennese waltz.” Hoo boy.

Mika featuring Ariana Grande sang their hit song, “Popular,” and then the dancers prepared for what Tom called “the ultimate live challenge.” The teams were divided into Jack, Corbin, Bill and Nicole and their partners in Team 1, and Amber, Elizabeth, Brant and Leah and their pros in Team 2. It was crazy, confusing and in the end, Corbin and Karina took first place in round one for four points, while Amber and Derek took first in round two for another four points.

Next week, we will see the return of the team dances, which can be very good, or go very, very wrong. It all depends on who is on each team. What do you think about no one being eliminated this week? What will it do to next week's scoring? Do you think Len should be replaced on the judges' table? See you next week — keep dancing.

Not all kids who play baseball are uniformed with fancy script across their chests, traveling to $1,000 instructional camps and drilled how to properly hit the cut-off man. Some kids just play to play.