<p>To The Editor: Intelligent life does not exist on Mars, or here on Earth, it seems. Here's proof:<li>Our teenagers are fatter than those in 14 other major countries (Times-News, Jan. 5).</p><!-- Nothing to do. The paragraph has already been output --><p>Yet the newly-opened "fat machine" (Krispy Kreme doughnuts) is doing great business.<li>Pardee Hospital's Weigh-Less fitness class still uses the Food Guide Pyramid as a handout eating plan.</p><p>The items emphasized, like breads, cereals, rice, pasta, muffins and buns, will not make any weigh less.</p><p>(Only unrefined whole grain products should be recommended.)<li>A third no-brainer is the barbecue to be given to raise money for two local children with cancer (Times-News, Jan. 18).</p><p>More cancers will follow from barbecues.<li>Further evidence of Earth's population being uninhabited by intelligent life rests with the coming fund-raiser for a leukemia patient (Times-News, Jan. 14).</p><p>Continuing nitrate (hot dogs) ingestion will make more fund-raisers popular.<li>And, of course, the Meals on Wheels, a well-meaning program, keeps the same old American diet alive (but what about intelligent life?).</p><p>Note: I spotted a small outbreak of intelligent life in and around our Co-op. Check it out!</p><p>Ken Glimpse</p><p>East Flat Rock</p>