If you think that this sort of thing doesn’t happen here in the US, you’re wrong. Only we don’t use boobs, because that’s too obvious (not to mention, quite unacceptable in our culture). When times are tough, desperation can drive dentists to other ethical edges, like hiring only hygienists that are willing to sell unnecessary treatment to patients… instead of their own bodies.

A clinic hires only cute women in order to attract patients

I was so shocked, my jaw was hanging in astonishment. After all, I am a dental hygienist.”

So says Hiromi, a 24-year-old native of Shizuoka Prefecture, who, after graduating from an occupational training school, sought work in a Tokyo dental clinic as a hygienist.

“The head doctor’s a real slimeball, he only hires cute women in order to attract patients,” she reveals to Shukan Taishu.

Hiromi and three cute colleagues at the clinic filled out their tight, white uniforms, which in addition to exposing cleavage are also designed to show lots of leg.

“The clinic attracts salarymen working in the area,” she says. “We were told the uniform went with the job.”
About three months after she was hired, Hiromi was told by the doctor to emulate an older assistant named Megumi. While the sensei was filling a patient’s cavity, Megumi would lean up against their shoulder, giving them a generous feel of her substantial mammaries.

So good was her service that the patients were in the practice of requesting Megumi by name when they phoned for an appointment.

“Well then, I’ll give the patients an oppai (tittie) rub, the way Megumi does,” Hiromi informed her employer, who nodded in approval.

“Please do understand that in this business, times are hard, and that’s what we’ve got to do if we want to eat,” he explained. “If you emulate Megumi, patients will be able to disregard their pain, and want to come back again, you see? It’s a good form of communication beween the hygienist and the patients. And they’ll come back for more expensive treatments that aren’t covered by their health insurance.”

Actually Megumi was extremely talented in persuading patients for such elective services, cooing softly into their ear as she motherly nudged them, saying things like, “Rather than a silver crown, which will make you look older, a ceramic one will be much more attractive.”

But then something happened that discouraged Hiromi from working at that particular clinic.

It seems that while removing tar stains from the teeth of a middle-aged patient, he began returning the skinship, using his shoulder.

“He also began licking my finger while it was in his mouth,” she complained.

No longer able to restrain himself, the patient shifted to a full manual assault on her breasts, to which she loudly voiced her objections.

The head of the clinic, seeing that the patient was a good customer, told Hiromi to grin and bear it, and she resigned in a huff.

“The market for dental clinics in Tokyo is saturated, with more clinics than convenience stores. The situation has become severe,” says 26-year-old physician Mariko Yamashita. “What’s more, other businesses have been draining off dental patients, such as cosmetic surgeons who perform implants and estheticians who can do tooth whitening.”

In the past, dentists were once one of Japan’s “big three” most profitable operations, along with pachinko shops and obstetricians. But those days are gone for good.

“Patients who used to go running to their dentist whenever they felt a twinge of pain now refrain, or else only request work that is covered by their health insurance,” journalist Junji Maki tells Shukan Taishu. “That’s why I suppose clinics have become increasingly aggressive in efforts to attract more patients.”

A recent white paper on dental care reported that dentists need to treat 20 patients per day to break even, and that one dentist in five earns less than three million yen per year — less than the average cab driver.

Under such circumstances, the article concludes the emergence of doctors who expect hygienists to perform “breast massages” on patients may be a harbinger of a coming collapse in the dental profession. (K.S.)

It’s an important story that greatly affects the unemployed, underemployed, and working poor of this country.

On the flip side, if a dental professional wishes to be a part of a corporate dentistry practice, backed up by a multi-million dollar, private equity firm to make big bucks, this PBS airing is for you, baby!

This is not a day to rejoice. This is not the time to shake our heads in deep disappointment for a fallen comrade that made monumental and irreversible mistakes. It’s a sad turn of events that warrants important discussion of a man who is no longer a licensed dentist in NH. It’s…

TIME TO GET STUPID! Wheee!

Let’s Find Dr. Bates a New Job!

Elephant Feces Removal Specialist

Oh, come on. It’s just excrement. It’s not like it would be the worst job in the world. Bonding with these creatures and subsequent dung removal from these four-legged friends may be just what the doctor needs. Who knows? Perhaps Dr. Bates may enjoy cleaning up after gigantic animals that dump mammoth quantities of pachyderm poop. Does anyone know if licensure is required for this type of work?

Gingie! The Awfully Bloody Gingiva Traveling Mascot

This role was originally chosen for dental wives (read the previous story here), but the opportunity for the doctor to take part in this jobs program is far too great for him to pass up. The position in simple; don the Gingie costume, in all of its fake blood and erythematous glory, and travel to various elementary schools to teach kids the importance of how utterly neglectful, disease-ridden, and disgusting bloody gums are and the importance of daily flossing. The doctor wouldn’t need any dental materials to pass out to the children. He would just point to himself as a prime example.

Official Door-to-Door Apologizer to Allcare Dental Patients

I would personally oversee this job for the doctor. I want to travel more anyway. See, it would be a cross-country automobile adventure, no doubt, with the kind doctor doing all of the driving. My family and I are on a strict budget so he would have to pay for the cost of gas, meals, lodging, and the twenty-four hour guard surveillance should he try to escape from said job duties. I really like to sing poorly… out loud… so the doctor isn’t allowed to turn on any radio/CD musical choices of any kind to drown out the auditory pain that is my singing. And if he starts to whine, well, it clearly states in the job description ’emotional outbursts of any kind will be dealt with quickly and firmly’. I haven’t really worked out the specifics of that rule yet but my mind… free. My need for justice for every Allcare dental patient in the thirteen states the doctor has taken advantage of… limitless.

No doubt you listened to the radio or television news today with a double take whut-What? There’s a Yale study that just came out which links the incidence of meningiomas to the frequency of dental radiographs taken during childhood? Your gentle ionizing beam of extrasensory perception is….BEING CRITICIZED?

Yes, yes it is. But have no fear, because the research, my friend, is also having its validity questioned. Supposedly there’s a significant likelihood of being diagnosed with a benign brain tumor if you grew up going to the dentist regularly and having periodic x-rays. This tumor, called a meningioma, is usually asymptomatic, and the vast majority of the time is discovered only when a person has a routine CT scan.

Okay, so is it just me who sees this flaw in the study? People who have CT scans just for “fun” are most likely to go to the dentist for “fun.” Only you should substitute the word “prevention” for “fun.” There were other people in the study who weren’t diagnosed with meningiomas. Was this because they didn’t have CT scans voluntarily (and their parents didn’t take them to the dentist very often, possibly)? And what is the criteria for needing a scan, since we’re criticizing the “need” for dental x-rays? I mean, CT zapping is not exactly radiation-free.

Go read these articles for yourself so that you’ll have well-formed opinions when patients ask about what they’ve heard in the media to help you turn around any radiation defiance that you may come up against in the next few weeks:

Now ask yourself who is healthier: the guy who never took a pill or saw a doctor his whole life, and felt great until the day he died? Or the one who did all the preventive stuff and discovered along the way that yes, he had some imperfections that needed to be treated?

See, it’s a stupid question that is irrelevant. Put it to bed, put this story to bed, go scare the masses with something fun. And yummy. And dangerous.

Health Care Reform: Opening Day At The Supreme Court

The fate of the Affordable Care Act is in the hands of the nine Supreme Court justices of our country. They will discuss and listen to arguments on the bill that went into law just two years ago under President Obama.

These highly educated and important people will have many options to weigh over the course of three days during their debates as the American public awaits the outcome of the healthcare reform law.

As a dental care provider and fellow taxpayer, I kindly ask the current patients in the waiting room to continue to wait a bit more as I move up our nation’s Supreme Court justices in my hygiene schedule to have their teeth scaled immediately. I have vital opinions to share with each judge that simply cannot wait. It won’t take long, however. I shall address all of them in the reception area first to efficiently utilize production time.

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DentalBuzz explores rising trends in dentistry with its own slant. The speed at which new products and ideas enter the dental field can often outpace our ability to understand just exactly the direction in which we are heading. But somehow, by being a little less serious about dentistry and dental care, we might get closer to making sense of it all.

So yeah, a tongue-in-cheek pun would fit really nicely here, but that would be in bad taste. Never mind, it just happened anyways. Stop reading sidebars already and click on some content instead.

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