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Wednesday, June 4, 2014

2014 Stanley Cup Drinking Game for Blue Jackets fans

If there is
one thing I like as much as confusing Penguins fans with satire, it’s pointing
out the angst over former CBJ players playing in the Stanley Cup Finals.This drinking game preys upon the players who
were traded from the Blue Jackets to either of the teams playing in the 2014
Stanley Cup Final, the fan vengeance surrounding those player’s departure, and
the fan vengeance against the fans who have no vengeance against the former Blue
Jackets players playing for either team.Stick tap to my DKM compatriots, Joe Reader
and John Kemp, for their contributions to this list.For good fun, be sure to follow the very best
Kings account @theroyalhalf and their crew along with @NYR_Fulltilt @MikeSobo79 and
@TheNYRBlog of Rangers ilk.And you
stats gurus are sure to follow @NYRunlimited

Someone on twitter spews vitriol over Rick Nash wanting out of Columbus, then:

Follow that person on twitter and…

Whenever that person complains about their job, co-workers, or boss send them the gif of Nash pushing Bob.

Someone compliments Scott Howson.

Some advanced stat guys wishes Nash, Carter, or Gaborik were still in Columbus.

There is physical contact to Gaborik and he’s not hurt.

Crush a beer when Gaborik gets hurt

Take two drinks if Dorsett does something that HELPS the Rangers

Someone on twitter insists the Blue Jackets would have made it deeper into the playoffs with either Carter, Gaborik, or Nash still on the team.

A #CBJ fan makes fun of another CBJ fan for liking Nash or Carter (this will get you "black out" drunk)

John Moore resembles anything near a first-round draft pick.

Jeff Carter scores a goal and breaks through his vodka-fueled Oxy haze long enough to actually crack a smile.

The only compliment the TV broadcast has for Rick Nash is the number of shots on goal he's attempted

The Royal Half makes a Lumbus reference

The Rangers feed rips on Nash when the NYR go down 2-0 in the series

Scott Arniel looks sober

Someone cries about the Rangers not having a captain

Take TWO drinks if this is the first time you realized the Rangers don’t have a captain.

There is Richards-on-Richards action along the boards.

Rick Nash half-asses a body check and then lollygags to the bench.

Someone gets mad at the phrase “Lumbus.”

Jeff Carter is nowhere to be found in Dzone coverage, and then magically appears at center ice with the puck.

You wish the two guys that run the @LAKings twitter account ran the CBJ account

Someone mentions that all you have to do to win the Stanley Cup is trade Jack Johnson

Rick Nash and Jeff Carter check each other hard enough to actually make the boards shake.

Gaborik wins the Conn Smythe then, keep drinking until Cannonfest.

This is all I have for now.I’m sure I’ll come up with more after a
couple games into the series.This is
the New York Rangers versus the Los Angeles Kings.The pretention in those two fan bases can
only be matched by the emotional turmoil of the CBJ fan watching this series…