Don't Get Tricked Into Swimming in This Swiss Vault Full of Money

JamesEdition—the billionaires' version of eBay—is auctioning off a chance to connect with your inner Scrooge McDuck by lounging in a bank vault filled with currency. The vault in Basel, Switzerland, is filled with 8 million real Swiss coins, which works out to roughly $450,000.

Here are some intrepid vault laborers shoveling the money:

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Gizmodo thrilled at the JamesEdition listing, saying it would "fulfill every person's childhood (and adult) dream of swimming in money." Sorry to be a killjoy, but as much fun as it sounds, attempting to swim in 15 tons of Swiss doubloons would be extremely painful at best, and potentially life-threatening at worst. (Now, using that money to fill a swimming pool with cornstarch or spaghetti would be a much more reasonable, enjoyable alternative).

We are only human beings, and unfortunately cartoon physics don't apply to us. The Billfold's Matt Powers has put McDuck's wealth at $210 billion—making the Disney 'toon $137 billion richer than Carlos Slim Helú. It's time to accept the fact that Scrooge McDuck will always have it better than we do.