What's a Lady Gaga?

By Claire Suddath

Andy Rooney is 92-years-old. Like many people his age, he's never heard of Lady Gaga, Usher or Justin Bieber. For some reason, this confuses and alarms him. "How come I've never heard of any of the musical groups that millions of other Americans apparently are listening to?" he asks. Then he complains that kids don't listen to Ella Fitzgerald anymore. Which is false.

Best line: "I think of myself as a musical ignoramus who doesn't hear or like the nuances of sound that other people do like."