An Odd Feeling: What’s on my butt?

So about a year ago I went to meet a new lady. I’m always a bit nervous meeting new people, but she quickly put me at ease. In fact, I ended up having an awesome time with her.

At the time my work involved doing a lot of driving around. I had scheduled our session during my lunch break, but had to get back on the road. As I am driving around the rest of the day, I kept having this odd sensation on my right butt cheek. Something was irritating my ass–literally!

This kept up for a few hours. I would s ratch and get no relief. Just could not get comfortable. It was really driving me crazy. But I didn’t have time to stop.

As the hours go by I start wondering what the fuck could it be? Am I having an allergic reaction to something that was on the bed? Were their bugs in her incall that bit my ass? Did I just contract some odd STD that makes one’s ass inflamed?

Finally I get home. Straight to the bathroom I go and drop my pants. Looking in the mirror I discover that I have not contracted an exotic disease. Nor have I been attacked by bugs.

Nope.

I have a condom wrapper stuck to my ass.

At this point I can’t stop laughing. No wonder I’ve been uncomfortable the past few hours. Damn thing was rubbing my cheek all afternoon.

I put it on the counter and took a picture, which I texted to my new lady friend, captioned: “I found this stuck to my butt when I got home.”

Her reply: “I was wondering where the wrapper went.”

We both got a great laugh out of it. Sometimes you just gotta laugh. I’m just glad I didn’t go to the gym after work. Any other men in the locker room would have thought there was something really odd about me.