Tech behemoth Google, known to change the logo on its eponymous search engine in honor of special people and events, announced Friday that the company was celebrating the Noahic Covenant God made with mankind after the Flood. The website’s logo was changed to a rainbow-themed design for 24 hours in honor of God’s promise never to flood the world again.

“This is really brave and progressive for Google, who tends to be more conservative in deciding which events and people to commemorate so as not to shove an agenda in anyone’s face,” stated Google co-founder and CEO Larry Page. “People just want to get to their internet searches anyway—no reason to make our service political.”

The rainbow sign, dating back to the Old Testament Mosaic writings, has long stood for the covenant between God and Noah recorded in Genesis 9:8-17, in which God set His bow in the sky as a sign of unconditional promise to never again flood the earth, destroying all life on the planet, even though He knew mankind would go on to do many terrible things deserving of judgment.

Page concluded, “We just think it is great to see so many young people waving flags and changing the background of their Facebook profile pictures to remember such a wonderful, far-reaching, unilateral promise. God is good.”

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I love group texts. LOVE them. Love sending them and love getting them. You’ve gone too far this time, Bee… mocking the GT.

Local man Chris Hatcher is currently serving the fourth year of a life sentence in an ongoing group text, having been incarcerated in the long string of communal messages from his family in the spring of 2014.

It’s unclear what crime the man committed to have received the harsh sentence.

No matter how little Hatcher is involved with the issues or events being discussed in the group chat, his phone goes off every time someone sends so much as a single emoji, reminding him of his harsh enslavement.

“I’m trying to make the best of it, but it’s a punishment no one should have to bear,” Hatcher told reporters as his phone continued to buzz incessantly as his siblings shared memes on the group text. “At all hours of the day, my life is captive to the group text.”

At publishing time, Hatcher had been added to a group Facebook message.

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A recent study by Vanderbilt University professor Marino Bruce has found that people who attend religious services live longer and are less stressed. The findings held true across faith traditions, said Bruce, the associate director of Vanderbilt’s Center for Research on Men’s Health, in a video posted to the university’s YouTube channel.

“We found in our study that actually attending church is actually good for your health, particularly for those who are between the ages of 40 and 65,” said Bruce, who also is a Baptist minister.

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A University of Arizona visiting scholar published an article in a peer-reviewed journal about how she self-identifies as a hippopotamus.

Media reports about the article by Florentin Félix Morin refer to Morin as a “transgender man.” In the article, Morin seems to indicate that she is biologically a woman. She says, using more colorful language, that she started identifying herself as a lesbian hippo stuck in the body of a “transmale” as a way to “escape” the “several sets of categorization that govern human bodies,” like “‘gender,’ ‘sexuality,’ [and] age.”