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a conversation in my head

As I took the dog for a walk this morning I realised, I was having a conversation, not with the dog but with myself.

Am I going crazy, no, I don´t think (hope) so 😉

I am still trying to get my DSL line to work at home, all I need to do then is buy a laptop and Bob´s your uncle 🙂 – meaning, I can sit down at home and actually publish my thoughts because that´s what I´ve been doing this morning, writing posts in my head.

I stopped taking my medication last week – no, please don´t think I am a Nutter, only got it because I was overworked and stressed out just before Christmas last year, too much work, too little else, especially sleep.

Anyway, I don´t want to rely on medication, don´t really think I need it now since I had a good rest over Xmas and since I continuously forget to take it anyway I thought I might just stop.

And you know what, it feels good, kind of being myself again, not as tired, lifeless or disinterested in life. I´m still taking things easy at work, although I know this is coming to an abrupt halt soon, works picking up again but I will not ever get stressed about it again!! I know a lot of people who are taking medication because life is getting them down, most of them have been taking it for years and are too scared to come off but surely there´s got to be a better way of dealing with life. I feel that doctors are very quick in prescribing medication just to “shut” people up, maintain their workability, rather than getting them to slow down. I´ve had two colleagues recently who had to give up work, they missed the break-off-point and got themselves so worked up that they had to have burnout therapy, how sad is that? Not judging them but the path that is leading this way, everything´s got to be done to perfection, delivery or else but no-one considers the personal consequences anymore. We live to work, not the other way round, we define ourselves by how much money, how good a job and how big a house we´ve got, not by the kind of person we are. And worse still, we are judged by the amount of hours we work, quantity not quality. And please don´t tell me it´s different where you are – I don´t buy it, I think it´s a global problem and we are all paying the price, one way or another and unless we get off the speeding train, salvage what´s left of the real us, we are heading for big trouble.