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Divorce?

So I am 20 years old. I have been with my DH since I was 15, married at 18. We have two DDs together, a 2 year old & a 2 month old. Our relationship has always been a mess. I tried over and over to make things work out as I love him dearly. I got into things way to young & am now suffering the consequences. I don't need the negativity from anybody. I know what I did was stupid. But, he left he said he can't handle it anymore. I am a SAHM, go to school on the weekends. Literally have no money, so my question is how do I handle this? What do I tell my oldest, as she is starting to notice he isn't around, asking where her papa is? How do I explain things to her, and how do I cope? How do I cope coming back to work & putting my girls in daycare? Does it take a long time to get over? What do I have to do to get a divorce?

It takes a long time to get over a divorce. In your case not only is it the man you loved but most probably your first love as well. You take it one day at a time. Check out what options as far as state/federal help you can get to help support you while trying to get an education and good job. Make sure the ex pays child support & if possible visits with the children. Don't bad mouth him. It only tears you down in their eyes. Be honest and upfront with them. As they ask for additional information give it to them if you feel they are ready.

The children will actually enjoy preschool. Mine do. They get to make friends, learn new things, play in piles of rice, sand, dirt, etc.

It's life lessons that's all, go to your local child welfare office and apply for benefits for you and your children. Just remember you won't be the first last or third woman who has gone through this. I agree be honest with the baby she/he may not understand and will have lots of questions. Your instincts will kick in as a mom and you just do the best you can. Hell I'm in my 40's contemplating divorce and I'm still trying to figure out how I will have to explain it to my 8 year old. You'll will be fine and the children will be fine as well. The main thing for you is to develop a strong network because you will need someone to lean on.

Given your age I'm assuming your children are young. You probably don't have to say much - just keep it simple and as true as possible without giving too much information. If you have family that can offer you any support right now take it. It will take a long time to get over it, but you can do it - you have to becasue you have two little people depnding on you! Try to continue w/ school if you can and work to be a person you and your girls can be proud of. Good luck & hang in there. It will take time, but it will get better.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 3:45 PM on Sep. 2, 2009

1-3 of 3 answers

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