How to end this friendship

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ftmeu82 wrote:

I have a friend who I met 18 months ago, when I moved to a new city - we hung out a lot for a few months, and then it became less and less often.

The thing is, I've realised over time, that I don't enjoy hanging out that much any more. She has shown me some slightly mean sides to her personality and is also very possessive and can be clingy. I also just find her a bit boring, to be honest.

We are also at very different stages in life. We've grown apart basically, which to me is a natural thing that often happens with some friendships.

The thing is, I've been trying to ease out of this friendship over the last few months, but she just won't drop it. We hardly ever see each other, and I'll admit, I've been a crappy friend, because I just don't care about our friendship any more - I didn't wven go to her birthday party, and didn't contact her after to ask how it went (called in sick). Yet she still keeps contacting me asking me to meet up, and I keep making excuses not to.

Last time I tried to explain, without being too harsh, that we've grown apart, by saying that I know we don't see each other any more, but we're both just busy with different things etc

She didn't get it. Now she has invited me to meet up twice in this last week and I haven't responded. So she's been going through my old instagram posts, 'liking' them.

What should I do here?? Do I have to be very blunt?? I just hoped she'd allow us to drift apart naturally!

It may be mean to straight up tell someone you don't like them. But it's much worse to just ignore them and do what you're doing now. Try as gently as you can to explain that your friendship is over. Try not to blame her or make her feel awful. I bet you'll feel relieved after that one uncomfortable conversation than the several that attempting to drift apart naturally will cause. And don't do it over text. In person, at the very least on the phone.

What I think with this friendship, is basically she has some issues with herself and you were at her service, she needs friends but her toxic controlling personality holds her back from making true friends and that is how it will always be unless she changes. There is nothing wrong with saying no without trying to make excuses when she wants to hang out. Obviously she is thinking about you and realizing what she has lost, but having trouble letting go herself. Just tell her why you don't like her or don't want to hang out with her once straight up, tell her why you all don't click at all, but only once, then maybe accept a text once or twice but if she don't go away, this is when its best to just start ignoring her. If you keep ignoring her she will give up eventually, maybe when you said you were sick, she actually believed you and believes other excuses you make, some people just don't get it and you have to be blunt.

One time I had a friend that was so obnoxious I couldn't handle it anymore. Like she was suffocating, followed me around and made me look at hours of dog photos online... Ridiculous ***. I couldn't really fade it out because I had to see her every day. I decided I'd just be honest and tell her that I didn't want to be friends anymore, and I didn't think there was anything wrong with that. I knew it would hurt her feelings but what else can you do?! Well anyways she withdrew and started acting really weird, so we had to report her as we were concerned about her mental health. She then told everyone she wanted to kill herself because of me and then I got labelled a bully which in turn destroyed any respect that most people had for me, and I lost some friends as well. Unbelievable, if you ask me. I have hard feelings over that years later (and this happened in my adulthood) but I still don't feel bad for ending the friendship lol

You don't have to be blunt just keep doing what you're doing she'll get it. If not start a fight, just pretend to take something the wrong way tell her off and block her from Facebook. Done. She'll think you're nuts and be glad she got rid of you lol

I had a friend act exactly this same way. I never really tried fading her out, but honestly couldn't do a lot with her due to kids/schedules. She ended up texting me saying she didn't know why I lost interest in her and that she hoped life was good to me. It took me off guard and I didn't even know what to say, so I didn't reply. A couple weeks later she confronted me in Walmart with my kids. She berated me in the checkout line. It was embarrassing and obnoxious. I did nothing to deserve that and honestly it hurt but mostly pissed me off. She then proceeded to block me on fb and her phone. I truly think she has mental health issues. So I get what you're going through. Some friends are short lived and not long term. I hope you find a way to let her down easy. Gl