Friday, July 27, 2012

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones—and Words Can Always Hurt Me

Our homes are like our own little city or community, and the last
thing we want to do is set our family “aflame” by ridiculing each other (Proverbs
29:8).

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”
is an untrue chant. Words do hurt—both those meant to sting and those meant to
tease. Most humor comes from a true feeling, and teasing someone can be a sign
of defensiveness, insecurity, or cruelty. We don’t want any of those motives in
our homes.

My brother and I weren’t allowed to make fun of each other; our
treatment of one another was supposed to reflect respect, and I am grateful for
my parents’ institution of this ideal. Teasing too often hits on a painful
nerve; teasers too often know just the right words that hurt, though they hide
it under the guise of a joke. Taunting can bring anger, which the Proverbs say
the wise “turn away” (Proverbs 29: 8).

Our homes should be a place of safety: a place each member goes to be
uplifted and encouraged. Life is hard—our treatment of those we love shouldn’t
be.

On the other hand, kind words are the best gift you can give someone
with this love language. “Flattery will get you everywhere,” I part-joke. Words
of Affirmation is my top love language, and sincere compliments and praise speak
love and respect—“I know who you are, I see what you do, and I admire it and
you.”

My mom isn't one to lavish me with acclaim. When she wrote the note below on some poetry I have been working to publish, I knew she meant it. High praise from someone who is always honest with you carries a lot of weight.

If someone you love is Words of Affirmation, be incredibly conscious of your vocabulary. Perhaps it isn't in your nature to use words of praise, but you will have to make that effort. Also, remember that we affirmation-needers delight in hearing the actual words I adore you. Grab a thesaurus, and learn new ways to say it every day!

The book my grandfather, father, and I wrote in reflection of the Proverbs is finally here! You can click on the photo below to go to the O'More Publishing website, and then scroll down to Proverbs through the Generations to purchase. Proceeds go to scholarships for O'More College of Design students.

1 comment:

Thank you for linking again! I am the exact type of person you describe here--and having someone choose their words so carefully for me really makes a difference.I requested the book from the library, and hope to pick it up soon! Blessings!