Monday, June 12, 2017

PRIDE Is Not A Sin

June is PRIDE month for the LGBTQIA community. A time to step forward, literally march, come together, embrace one another, and very proudly proclaim, "This is who I am, this is who we are. We are here, we have always been here, we matter, we deserve to live fully, freely, with all the rights and protections afforded all citizens."

What started as a single Gay Pride Day, chosen in the month of June to help commemorate the Stonewall riots, has grown through the years to encompass the entire month. As stated on the Library of Congress website, "The purpose of the commemorative month is to recognize the impact that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals have had on history locally, nationally, and internationally."

History.

Yes, history.

The spectrum of human beings has existed since human beings have existed. Living, loving, contributing. And throughout history, throughout cultures, those who did not fit the skinny spot of heterosexualism were not really given much of a second glance - they were just people.

I find myself pondering how we went from people just being people, to people targeting another group by defining them by one characteristic - their sexuality. That who they physically loved completely obliterated anything else about them. It is ridiculous to me. Humans have lived through times and places where people literally fucked whatever hole was available when they got the urge - it did not matter in Rome, and it certainly did not define a person's sexuality. They were simply being sexual in the moment.

Ahhhhh, but then along came religion. And religion began to do what it does so well - scare, condemn, and control.

A great example is that blasted list of "seven deadly sins" that so many like to hurl throughout cyberspace as a defense for their bigotry and hateful words. They have been out in droves since June 1 - so full of faux indignation that an entire month is given to acknowledging the existence of those they are taught are a pestilence, so emotionally rabid over Facebook adding a PRIDE flag emoji, their hatred turning blinding over the USMN and USWN soccer teams having the audacity to wear jerseys with rainbow numbers on their backs this month - it is all head shakingly DUMB.

Yes, dumb. The amount of energy that they put into pouting, shouting, ALL CAPS COMMENTING, threatening, and demeaning other people is just stupid.

Especially their attempt to sully the word PRIDE. Because it is, of course, listed in their coveted, but only conveniently followed list of seven deadlies.

I have tried to rationally explain the history behind their "list' to several, but it is literally impossible to speak truth to stupid. They do not want to hear it. Much like trying to discuss the actual origins of things like Christmas trees - history only matters when they can use it as a cudgel.

Those sins of theirs were actually designed by a desert wandering mystic named Evagrius Ponticus back in the 4th century A.D. He set down a treatise he called “On the Eight Principal Vices.” His student, John Cassian, filtered that down and created the list of Seven Deadly Sins - they being: greed, lust, envy, gluttony, anger, sloth, and of course, pride.

Nowhere do these "sins" appear in a list in the Bible. They were simply integrated through time and religious politics to be a list of marching orders of sorts.

So how easy to grab that list, and conveniently weaponize one part of it against the LGBTQIA, especially during a month called PRIDE. (These holier than thous completely ignore how they revel in acting out ALL of these in their own lives.)

Here's the thing - PRIDE is not a sin. Especially during this month of recognition. I want my son to be proud of who he is. Iam proud of who he is. Hell, I am in awe of who he is, because it takes strength, courage, resolution, and daily personal internal work to maintain the resolve that he should be proud of himself.

I am so tired of heterosexual people whining about how they should get a march, a month, an emoji. Listen to me - I AM HETERO. We get that shit every single fucking day of our lives. I can walk down the street with my husband holding hands, swapping spit, caressing his back, and no one even blinks. My heteroness is reinforced everywhere - movies, TV shows, magazines, perfume ads - everywhere I turn I see MY life reflected back at me by a puritanical society that long ago normalized it as "the right way". I move through life drenched in this privilege.

My child does not. His LGBTQIA friends do not.

They move through life desperately looking for some, any reflection of who they are. That is why it is such a big deal when a massive celebrity steps forward and says, "I'm gay." Why Laverne Cox is profoundly important in Orange Is The New Black. Yes, she is a wonderful actress, but she is also transgender. Why RuPaul's Drag Race reaches far beyond mere entertainment to literally touch the hearts and souls of anyone who society scorns as different. Why the theater community has always been important - it recognizes everyone, not just on the page, but on the stage, both in the characters written and the actors cast.

And it's why a goddamned pride emoji on Facebook matters. It is a tiny representation and acknowledgement that within the billions of people who have Facebook accounts are millions of people who are not hetero. As of late 2015 there were over 6 million people on Facebook, in the United States alone, who proudly identified themselves as LGBTQIA. With a study indicating that people are coming out on FB at twice the rate of each prior year, it is easy to say that number is in the double digits - in the USA alone.

I will say it again, I want my child to be proud of who he is. I want my child to be unafraid of being who he is. He is doing the work to make that possible within himself. Sadly, there is a large segment of society whose only "work" in this regard is to continue to weaponize their ignorance and hate. They are aggressive and threatening. They shed the blood of those they deem different, even going so far as to kill. They are raising children in households where many of those kids will fall victim to self hatred because of what they are being taught

PRIDE is not a sin. PRIDE is what happens when a human being feels good about themselves.

To the entire LGBTQIA community - every single beautiful, complex, talented human being it encompasses - I see you, you matter, and IAMPROUDOFYOU.