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Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

Do you understand the difference between good information and the **** you get from the internet? If you don't, then I feel sorry for you.

Originally Posted by CycloneErik

Factor in the anonymity involved, too, where we can just provide anything and pretend it's advice.

To pile on, volume of information doesn't equate to quality. I feel sorry for people that can't figure that out.

Then why the hell are you on the internet then? Why even bother? You always have to sort through good and bad information no matter where you get it from.

"Be passionate and bold. Always keep learning. You stop doing useful things if you don't learn. So the last part to me is the key, especially if you have had some initial success. It becomes even more critical that you have the learning 'bit' always switched on."

Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

Originally Posted by TXCyclones

Everyone who meets her for the first time thinks she's great. She's bubbly and energetic and very nice... to everyone else. I get the leftovers, the gossip, the nagging, etc. We've done counseling 9 years ago when we were in crisis and she stopped going because she decided she was out of crisis, and chose not to work on other personal issues that lead us there. She's saying she wants to go to counseling now, but I don't - I'm done. Just curious if others here have gone through it. A bit worried about the "next step".

Personally, if she wants to go to counseling, I would do it, in part so you don't have "what ifs" to worry about. You could make it clear up front that you are at the point of wanting a divorce, but want to work it out (if you at all do). You've clearly been married a while, so this isn't the kind of thing that just suddenly disappears if you want out, especially if you have kids.

You obviously are approaching this fairly seriously, and have had enough, but I'd see what counseling does. You have nothing to lose if you go, but possibly a lot to gain. If that doesn't help, you are going to get a divorce, which you wanted anyway.

Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

Originally Posted by ISUCyclones2015

Why not? The internet is the greatest invention of all time. It is the only thing EVER created where you can instantly connect with MILLIONS of people from all walks of life, background, race, and countries in one place. Where are you going to get that type of information from just one person? NO WHERE but the internet.

In 2014 alone there will be an INCREASE of information of 200 exabytes over 2013. To put that in perspective that is more than all data that there was in 2010 available on the internet. In 2015 estimates are near 500 exabytes. 1 exabyte is over a BILLION gigabytes. It is estimated that the human brain is only roughly 1 terabyte large (1000 gigabytes). The internet just added a terabyte in the ten seconds it took me to write this sentence.

So if you don't go to the internet for advice, then I feel sorry for you.

Just because there's all this data being put on here. It doesn't mean it's worth a damn.

I'd venture a guess it's 90% x-rated stuff anyway.

Edit: I see this has already been touched on by others.

Last edited by MNCYWX; 07-04-2014 at 02:26 PM.

"Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it." -- Albert Einstein

Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

The internet serves certain purposes, this is not one of those purposes. It's not that difficult to understand. The next time you find yourself in a situation follow this basic rule:

You need tips on basic day to day activities? Go to the internet.

You need help with an issue of a personal nature? Find a damn friend.

What if you have gone to your friends and want other advice? Or maybe he couldn't offer any because he's never been in that kind of situation. Maybe his friend doesn't care. Maybe his friend is out on a 10-day safari trip and can't be contacted. Maybe he has no friends? Maybe he doesn't want his friend to know because his friend's wife is friends with his wife and might spill the beans.

There is no cut and dry rule. If you want information and advice fast, go on the internet. It will at least give another opinion.

"Be passionate and bold. Always keep learning. You stop doing useful things if you don't learn. So the last part to me is the key, especially if you have had some initial success. It becomes even more critical that you have the learning 'bit' always switched on."

Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

Just because there's all this data being put on here. It doesn't mean it's worth a damn.

I'd venture a guess it's 90% x-rated stuff anyway.

Edit: I see this has already been touched on by others.

4% of the top 1million most visited webpages are porn related.

13% of all web search is porn related.

"Be passionate and bold. Always keep learning. You stop doing useful things if you don't learn. So the last part to me is the key, especially if you have had some initial success. It becomes even more critical that you have the learning 'bit' always switched on."

Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

Originally Posted by ISUCyclones2015

What if you have gone to your friends and want other advice? Or maybe he couldn't offer any because he's never been in that kind of situation. Maybe his friend doesn't care. Maybe his friend is out on a 10-day safari trip and can't be contacted. Maybe he has no friends? Maybe he doesn't want his friend to know because his friend's wife is friends with his wife and might spill the beans.

There is no cut and dry rule. If you want information and advice fast, go on the internet. It will at least give another opinion.

Or you could rely on your own social intelligence - you know, that **** you should have been cultivating throughout the entirety of your existence.

Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

Originally Posted by LindenCy

Personally, if she wants to go to counseling, I would do it, in part so you don't have "what ifs" to worry about. You could make it clear up front that you are at the point of wanting a divorce, but want to work it out (if you at all do). You've clearly been married a while, so this isn't the kind of thing that just suddenly disappears if you want out, especially if you have kids.

You obviously are approaching this fairly seriously, and have had enough, but I'd see what counseling does. You have nothing to lose if you go, but possibly a lot to gain. If that doesn't help, you are going to get a divorce, which you wanted anyway.

I agree with this. I would go to the counseling. Do everything you can to salvage the marriage, so you eliminate all "what ifs". That way, when you've done everything you can to do to save the marriage, you can be confident in whether or not going through with the divorce is the right call.

Plus, if she is wanting to go to counseling, you can say you did it for her (but not as something to throw back in her face later on.)

Originally Posted by cyrocksmypants

I didn't know Satan posted on here. Because clearly with this opinion, you're the devil.

Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

Or you could rely on your own social intelligence - you know, that **** you should have been cultivating throughout the entirety of your existence.

I could walk around NYC all day asking people if they are divorced an had received marriage counseling. Which would take an extreme amount of time to get any relevant information.

OR

I can go to the internet and get relevant information basically instantly

"Be passionate and bold. Always keep learning. You stop doing useful things if you don't learn. So the last part to me is the key, especially if you have had some initial success. It becomes even more critical that you have the learning 'bit' always switched on."

Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

Do you have children who are minors? I think you need to think long and hard about what's in the best interest of your children before you file for divorce. Think about the example you are setting for them.

I feel sorry you are in this situation, but as hard as it is, try to think about the ramifications on your children. Be selfless and think of them first.

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