~Domesticated MOMster~

Welcome to the blog of a certified domesticated momster...me(Trista). I blog about motherhood, marriage, and anything else that goes with a side of wine. So please grab a cup of coffee or a glass of your favorite poison and enjoy!

Tag: writing

In my Timehop today there was a picture of a writing challenge that I obviously took a picture of and was thinking that perhaps I would try and do it and then didn’t. Blogging is kind of like housework sometimes…I am easily distracted and get off course.

It’s going to be a challenge just finding the time to sit down everyday and write about each thing on the list…but I am going to give it a whirl.

The first day is…Your Current Relationship, if single, discuss how single life is.

Well I am not single so let me share the boring juicy details of my current relationship, which is marriage.

The King of the house and I met back in 2008. He found his winning prize…yours truly…on yahoo personals. I was living the single life with no kids and no responsibilities …well unless you count work and bills as part of those.

I have to admit that I was a little intimidated by him upon meeting him in person for the first time. But a couple beers later and I was like *here’s my number…stop staring at my boobs…and call me if you want to hang out again.* He was blowing up my phone with text messages 10 minutes later even though he will never admit it. You know guys and how smooth they think they are.

It wasn’t long before we were attached at the hip *grins* if you know what I mean. And over the course of the next 3 years we would add three more children to the two he had when we got together.

Let’s fast forward to current day.

We will be celebrating our 8 year wedding anniversary on May 20th. It’s really hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I have been in a relationship for that long. My previous relationships never made it past 5 years. It had actually become a joke between my friends and I. It was like a 5 year “you’re fucking out of here” curse.

Luckily there were never any children involved.

Now I’m not saying that we haven’t had some close calls of calling it quits but I really just don’t think there are any other people that could put up with either one of us. We are both stubborn headed, I’m a little crazy, he’s a bit of an asshole, but somehow together we manage not to murderterminateslaughterbutchermassacresnuffdispose of kill each other. I mean those thoughts never even cross my mind. **picks up her halo and places it gently back over her devil horn**

But like I have written before “marriage takes work” and “doesn’t run on auto pilot“. You have to be able to laugh together, take time for one another(or sometimes away from each other), and you have to learn to pick your battles…may I suggest only picking the ones you know you can win…just saying.

My husband and I have decided divorce isn’t an option unless we just grow to literally hate one another or I stab him in the leg with a fork. Whichever comes first. Otherwise, we are lifers!

*Please comment on the host’s post and 1other post….buuuuut please share the post which comes before yours on any social media of your choice. Meaning you don’t have to comment on the one before yours, or even read it if you don’t want to, but do please share it. You may of course share and comment on as many as you like. The more you comment on, the more likely you are to get someone to come take a look at your blog as well.

*If you link up 2 posts, then comment on 2 other posts and share the 2 posts before yours and also comment and share the host’s post.

*They can be any type of post…old or new, recipe, reviews, giveaways, and I don’t mind if you advertise your own personal linky but please keep it to one time only.

*Each week I will give a shout out to the top three most viewed posts according to my Inlinkz calendar. I will also share the posts throughout the week on several of my social media. Therefore, if you are linking up, then you give me permission to share your content across various social media of my choice.

*Please place my bitching fabulous badge at the bottom of your post or if you prefer you can just copy and paste the following link using the word #momsterslink

*Linkys are a great way to meet other bloggers, network, and form a community but this only works if EVERYONE follows the #bloggerlove rules. So please be aware that I will be paying attention.

*I will read, comment, and share every post that is linked up. The social networks I share most on are Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, Facebook, and StumbleUpon. I pin all links to my #momsterslink linky Pinterest boardunless I feel like the post subject would go better under another category of board I have but every link is pinned and every link is posted to StumbleUpon!

*If you are unsure about how to link up to a linky, my fabulous friend Becky at Cuddle Fairy has a great informational post here.

Lately I have been reading a lot of articles and blog posts about mothers feeling like they are failing at motherhood. Myself included.

A couple months ago I came across a story about a little girl in the window of a rental house, who some neighbors, that thought no children lived in the house, one day saw the girl peaking out the window.

Sometimes stories stick with you…and you can’t let go of them….this is one of those stories.

The couple who saw the little girl in the window luckily reported it to the police for they had never seen a child and thought that it was only a man, woman, and 2 adult sons that lived in the rental property across the street.

You can read about the rest of the story here. Please be advised it is a horrible story and one that may stick with you like it has with me. It would have taken a lot of strength, as the cop who had to enter those premises, not to punch that woman in the face.

The point is, that us mothers that think we are failing because we had a bad day and yelled at the kids, or we let Netflix babysit for the day so we could get some stuff done. Even if that stuff getting done meant taking time to ourselves to read a book, blog, exercise, or whatever it may be.

Even if we fed the kids mac and the cheese (it’s what my kids call it) and hot dogs for dinner with slices of cucumbers as a veggie because we just didn’t feel like being in the kitchen for two hours only to hear…”I don’t like this, I want mac and the cheese”. Even when we take a timeout in the bathroom for 30 minutes and tell the kids we are pooping and to go play.

When we let our kids go to school in mix matched clothes because we don’t feel like fighting at 6:30am about what they are going to wear so we just say fu*k it and let them wear what they want.

Any of those times.

We are still being mothers who love our children. Who dress our children. Bathe our children. Feed our children. LOVE our children and show that love by hugging them and kissing them and telling them daily that we love them. Let me assure you …. you aren’t failing and if you think you are then I encourage you to read the story about the little girl in the window. Because that mother…doesn’t deserve to be called a mother at all. Yes I am sure she probably had some kind of mental issues but what about the man that lived there or the two grown sons? Where were their voices? Why didn’t they speak up? Were they all just crazy?

There is also a follow up to the story, 9 years later, about the little girl and the courageous family who insisted on adopting her, even knowing the challenges that they would face, and how they are coping. You can read that here.

So all you mothers out there that think you aren’t doing it right…if your child is loved…pat yourself on the back…you’re doing it right.

When we are young it’s so easy to make friends. We just walk up to some random little person, like ourselves, and say “hey! Wanna play?”. Instant friendship. I can still remember some of my early childhood friends and I actually follow one of them on Instagram. I have known her since the 3rd grade but although we follow each other on Instagram…we haven’t spoken to one another since I moved away after 7th grade.

Moving to a new town at the age of 14 wasn’t easy. It wasn’t easy to make friends either, but over time I did. Most of those friends I graduated with and we follow each other on Facebook. Some I actually even chat with via Facebook chat. And before Facebook chat I actually talked to them on the t-e-l-e-p-h-o-n-e. These days, talking on the telephone is almost obsolete with 3 tiny monsters having “mommy’s on the phone, let’s act like assholes” radar.

Next are my pre-children friends. They were the ones who knew this crazy girl that liked to drink and party a lot and was always just a phone call away when they needed someone to hang out with at last minute notice. I was always ready and willing to keep someone company while they or myself drowned our sorrows at the bottom of a beer glass together. Or for just plain fun. But once I had kids I think that some of those friends didn’t really know what to do with the “mommy me” person I had become.

So here I was at 36, just had my first child, and felt completely alone. I had given up my career (which involved talking all day to adults) to be a stay home mom and found myself talking to myself most days. The infant was listening I am sure, but not understanding a word that was coming out of my mouth. He just cooed and smiled at me. I could drop 100 F-bombs and he would just grin from ear to ear.

Then I started getting out and meeting other mommies. At first it was just plain weird for me. It just feels abnormal trying to make friends with complete strangers when you are an adult. By adulthood you have become opinionated and judgmental and there are very few women whose personalities I found I clicked with. I think I must have met about 25-30 mommies during a 3 year span of time and I still have relationships with only 5 of them. And 3 of the 5 are related to one another. Those are pretty horrible odds if you ask me. But I cherish the 5 that I have and although we all live in different places I talk to them regularly and a couple of them have even come to visit me since moving here.

I can count on two hands the friends in my life who will be friends for a lifetime. The ones that no matter how long it’s been since we see or talk to one another we just pick up right where we left off. These one’s will always be the Thelma’s to my Louise.

The friendships that have faded I refer to as seasons, reasons, or just filler…and I’m ok with that.

I have also met a lot of wonderful people through blogging. People all over the world that I have never met but I consider to be friends. And what will always baffle me is how I can communicate with these people almost on a daily basis but in the two years I have lived here, there are neighbors I still have never done anything more than waved hello to.

Guess it’s because maybe it’s easier to strike up a friendship through a social network than it is face to face. That comes with the awkwardness of being an adult. As adults, we don’t just walk up to random other adults and say “hey, wanna be friends?”. Sad but true.

“Write a letter to the personality trait you like least, convincing it to shape up or ship out. Be as threatening, theatrical, or thoroughly charming as is necessary to get the job done.”

Dear Bitch,

Yes I am talking to you. The bitch, witch, shrew, she-devil, that lurks around in my head daily and often shows herself to anyone in an ears distance that has done anything remotely maddening irritating to awaken her.

For instance when the husband is chewing…in the same way he has chewed for the past 38 years of his life. Or perhaps when he falls asleep before me and snores to the point that not only can I not get to sleep but it’s the one and only thing I can focus on. And why does miss bitch need to come out when I get into the truck to find that he still hasn’t put air in the tires from the last time I drove the truck? Why? Is this really a reason to get bitchy?

What about when the kids are all getting on each others nerves and then getting on mommy’s nerves and guess who shows up? Yep…the bitch.

Or how about when I have just got done scrubbing the girls bathroom only to go in there 20 minutes later to find that it looks like it wasn’t even cleaned.

Same goes for their rooms.

Is this really a reason to become a raging lunatic bitch?

No wait, that was when my daughter decided to take the hair brush out of the bathroom and after telling her to put it back, of course she didn’t, and at 7:30pm, after showers, and time to brush hair and go to bed…instead mommy is tearing the house apart looking for the damn brush…see even thinking about it is making mommy bitchy! Why? It’s just a brush.

How about when the teenager doesn’t do his chores right? Rushes through them half- assed and knows that it’s one of his step mother’s biggest pet peeves and a sure fire way to provoke the resting bitch.

Almost daily there is something that makes the bitch in me come out and quite honestly I am rather sick of her. So I have vowed in 2016 not to be so bitchy. Has it been working? Well there are good days and there are bad days…but I am learning not to let the bitch take over the entire day, like I used to let her do.

Welcome to another fabulous weekend of #momsterslink. It was a great week “sinking my teeth” into all of your fabulous posts last week and I want to give a huge THANK YOU to everyone who linked up with me.

Congratulations to you both ladies, I will be sharing your posts all week via different social media.

Running Time: Thursdays 12pmPST(US) ~ Sundays 11:59pmPST(US)

Along with the new badge, I also have some new #bloggerlove rules to follow.

*Please link 2 posts maximum

*Please comment on the host’s post and 1other post….buuuuut please share the post which comes before yours on any one of your social media. Meaning you don’t have to comment on the one before yours, or even read it if you don’t want to, but do please share it. You may of course share and comment on as many as you like.

*If you link up 2 posts then comment on 2 other posts and share the 2 posts before yours and also comment and share the host’s post.

*They can be any type of post…old or new, recipe, reviews, and I don’t mind if you advertise your own personal linky but please keep it to one time only.

*Instead of picking a favorite post each week (it’s just too hard to only choose one) I am instead going to let InLinkz choose who the winner is by who’s post is viewed the most. The winner of that week, I will then share their winning post on all my social media throughout the entire week. Therefore, if you are linking up you give me permission to share your content across various social media.

*Please place my bitching fabulous new badge at the bottom of your post or if you prefer you can just copy and paste the following link using the word #momsterslink