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Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Saving you from tales of fireflies

Don’t get me wrong, it has its merits, it tells the story, keeps my brain ticking over, and is often fun to craft, and full of release, but essentially it’s the same handful of entries repeated.

Twenty eight times I’ve told the same thing over and over, with a few self-abuse tales or outings to the clinic thrown in for some variation.

The same thing happens every month, and I write the same thing every month.

With every cycle that passed, I wrote another kind of entry. Entries that never made it on-line, most of which never made to black and white at all. These were my imagined posts describing how that cycle would be a success, how we’d finally done it.

There were good ones among them too, some funny, some poignant. Some that rushed one way before suddenly hurtling back in the opposite direction, a roller coaster of reveal, breathtaking and stomach dropping, and leaving us all panting and drenched in the eventual wonderful news.

Some borrowed great words from others, bloggers, musicians, poets. Quotations that took sledge hammers to the glass cases housing the emotions I could only imagine I would feel but couldn’t come within a country mile of expressing accurately.

Each time I came up with one, it seemed perfect. Each time it was irrelevant.

My last one was my favourite, pretentious and failingly poetic, filled with daydream imagery and mention of fireflies and lots of other things I really should stay clear of, but it genuinely felt right and I was convinced I would use it.

Until now.

Now it doesn’t seem right. None of the twenty odd variations do. None of them come even close to pushing my stomach up into my chest, stealing half breaths from me, and making me stand taller, but shake just a little in disbelief and excitement like the following half dozen words do.

How exciting....and about time! Thank God for medical science even if they are just a bunch of a##holes; we couldn't be happier for you....like we say to all our friends when they find out they are expecting..."Welcome to the Breeder's Club!"Take care and we anticipate hearing lots and lots of details over the next few years!!!All our best,Jared & Sabrina Hoylman

wow Xbox and ET congratulations ! i have been frequently checking to see if you had updated the blood test result and of course you made us wait til the bottom of the post for those words, very excited for you both ! hoping the next 8 months are happy and healthy :-)

LOL, ok I don't usually cry before 9am in the morning, but hell I'll shed a few tears for you and ET!!! Wonderful news!!! May you both have an awesome pregnancy..... aaahhhh this is so freaking cool x x x

Wow - I am so thrilled for you both! You've been through so much together, I bet you just can't wipe the grin off your face right now. But yay you - you deserve it!! You've just made my day here - even I'm going to wander around work today with a silly grin on my face just for you guys!

Wow!!!!! I'm another lurker who's never found the right time to come forth but i reckon this is it! Well done and the biggest congrats ever!!!!!!!! Am so so please for you both!!!! (incidentally, me and hubby have been trying for over a year and we cracked it this month too! So heres to a happy and healthy nine months to us all!!!!)

Well that is just brilliant news, am so delighted for you both!! I couldn't stay in bed this morning, had to log on to check, I actually just scrolled to the end of your post to see what happened, so now I will go back and read it properly!Well done, fantastic!! What a joyful day.

OMG I am in tears. So so amazizng and wonderful. I know the joy and disbelief when you finally get the positive after being beaten down so many times. I am genuinely overcome with gratitude and joy for your wonderful news. All that to say CONGRATULATIONS!

Sure - make me cry as I sit here in my pajamas pretending to work!!! Oh MAN!!! I am so Happy for you and your beautiful ET!!!! Oh Man!!! Oh Man!!!! Congratulations!!!! sending you the biggest most happiest HUG EVAR!!!!

HOLY SHIT THAT'S AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! I've got chills for you two, been imagining what I would post when you eventually got the good news and now...well...I'm lost for words except to say that you have my deepest congratulations xxx

I KNEW IT!! Congrats!!! I am ever, ever so happy for you both!!!!! Your situation was just too close to mine, I just KNEW that IUI would work! Oh, honey, this is just wonderful. And this ordeal that is now OVER will just make the sweetness all the better. You will be a better father for having had to re-evaluate how much you wanted a child over these past 2 years.

I am bloody crying now and covered in goosebumps!!! I am so relieved, I have been up all night waiting to get back online to check and see if you posted. Congratulations, you and ET will be excellent parents. Denoxxxxx

Oh my god thats amazing !! I am sooo pleased for you and your wife that is the best news !! I have been following u guys as we were having the same trouble but I'm 13wks pg now so welcome to the club !!!! Hope you are going to keep us informed on how you an ET are doing. Well done x

Another one coming out of the closet to say, FINALLY, IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!! I've been following your blog for over a year now, checking in on you to see how you were both doing. I've been waiting to come here and say CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Now the time has come. Well done.

Congratulations!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!Congratulations!!!!!!!OMG, seriously I am tearing up over here. That is making feel a ridiculous as we've never met but I don't care. That is fantastic news. Best wishes for all that is to come!

Those fabulous words made me cry! Oh My GOD! I'm so incredibly happy for you guys! You've guys have been through so much and it FINALLY paid off. This is such amazing news...we'll keep you in our thoughts through out the next phase of your journey. Man...Congratulations!!!!!!!

Wonderful - so delighted. Those few little words say it all and the little one will be so worth the wait. Many many congrats and I look forward to reading lots of posts about ET puking etc. Ok, now for the book on trying to conceive - has it been commissioned yet? Then part 2 will be the pregnancy!

I am so happy for you "Daddy & Mommy to be"!!!! I couldn't be happier if ya'll were my own family!! (Hey, I'm Irish, maybe we are!!)I am sitting here at work crying and smiling and telling my co-workers all about you guys!!!! Congratulations & Baby Blessings!!!