I told him, again and again, last bell-ringing season that it is not a pear tree next to my cabin. For all I know, it could be a Hanukkah bush, but it’s not what he thinks it is — and I just wish he’d beat it once and for all.

Besides the continual risk of assault from his impromptu “bombings,” I simply don’t approve of the guy’s obvious alternate lifestyle. Last year, his partying buddies and he made a royal mess of his nest and my sidewalk, catching their stiletto-heeled mini Jimmy Choos and dropping all that straw on me.

Those guys were celebrating something or other “24/7” and forever blasting out Bette Midler CDs. They all had baritone or bass chirps, but they kept giggling like school girls.

I forgot to mention the pink lace curtains.

As for the “plop attacks” on my cabin, my kettle — and me, I warned him and gave two options: a) reduce your fiber intake today or b) get used to wearing those new Pampers Petites for Parakeets — they’re sort of one-size-fits-almost-all (probably not pelicans or pterodactyls).

I’m so stressed and depressed and plainly pooped out (yet that birdie never seems to be that last one). People are stopping less and less at my kettle. Meantime, the ladies are dancing and the lords are leaping on the library sidewalk because they don’t want to get their outfits messy.

Won’t you please stop at the red light, give me a yell, and allow 11 seconds for me to streak to your window for any dime or dollar you can spare? Your donation will be put to very good use — I promise.

Merry Christmas!

Tom DrillManitowoc

Chairman doesn’t have absolute power

I had decided not to run again for the county board but was surprised by all the messages I had when I returned from out of state about Jim Brey’s actions as county board chairman.

Brey thinks as county board chairman he can decide what and what not the rest of the supervisors will hear and discuss. No matter how he feels about a subject, he does not control the board; he is one of 25 supervisors — one supervisor, one vote. In a lot of cases, he doesn’t even have that, because since he is also city council president, he must recuse himself from many votes because of a conflict of interest.

What the citizens were asking about is wind turbines and their usage in certain areas of our county. Brey made it sound like it was some issue that just came up when it was an issue almost on a regular basis when I was on the Public Health and Safety boards. We were advised of studies done not just in Wisconsin, but all over the country and even a two-year-long study done in Belgium. Some of the scientific results were outright frightening, and some others were encouraging — but they all needed more research.

We were told how low vibrations caused by the blades of wind towers have been known to cause neurological problems in adults, children and livestock on farms. The number of effects are too numerous to list here.

Everybody needs to know their place in government, both city and county. And when you think because you head both boards that entitles you to absolute power, there is a problem.

Final decisions about what is right and what is not is the reason we have a county executive and mayor.

Mark L. KopeckyManitowoc

Plan ahead for safe ride home

The holiday season is one of the happiest times of year. It’s a chance to toast the New Year with those you care about most. No matter where your celebrations take you this year, help make it a safe holiday by pledging to #GiveADamn and plan ahead for a safe ride home.

Drunk driving is 100 percent preventable. That’s why we’re joining Anheuser-Busch this holiday season to remind everyone to keep our roads safe, and include the fight against drunk driving as part of your new year’s resolution. Over the past 30 years, Anheuser-Busch and its wholesaler partners have invested more than $1 billion in the United States to promote alcohol responsibility and reduce drunk driving, and we are looking forward to continuing this fight through 2017.

As you gather with friends and family this holiday season to reminisce on the past year and look forward to the future, please remember to keep our roads safe for yourself, your family and friends, and for the whole community. Please use a designated driver, a taxi, ride-sharing service, or public transportation if you’ve been celebrating with alcohol.

From everyone at Larry’s Distributing Company, have a happy and safe holiday!