Monday, December 23, 2002

My friend Todd just wrote me a very well-considered response to my very ill-considered review of Lord of the Rings. He writes:

In essence, we have a cultural differnce issue. Goings-on in Middle-Earth are convoluted with a cast of thousands; you have to make a committment to keep everything straight, it's very difficult. (It also helps if you have ever willingly gone in costume to a Ren-faire.)

OK, there's the problem, clearly. However, as far as I could tell, the theater was packed. And everyone was really HAPPY to sit through 3 hours of this movie. And there were lines to get tickets. Now, please, not that many people are geeks, right? Or maybe we all are, just about different stuff.

I think Peter Jackson made the epic for the fanboys and, yeah, made enough of a spectacle to draw-in the revenues to pay for it.

Well, that I can understand. I mean, who doesn't like lots of eye-candy shots of New Zealand, and computer-generated monsters by the trillion? For like 20 minutes. But it seems like this phenomenon (like Star Wars) is one that everyone in my generation but me understands. When I say I never read the books--and believe me, I'm a huge reader, so my not reading them was a conscious choice--everyone's shocked!

Oh, and I just want to make note of an important correction Todd sent me:

.The Flaming Vagina(TM) is the eye of Sauron, spirit of the original nasty overlord of Middle-Earth

Listen, if I were gonna design the eye of a hideous overlord, I would definitely make it look like a flaming vagina. Course, what can you expect when the novels are all about towers?

Call the roller of big cigars,
The muscular one, and bid him whip
In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.
Let the wenches dawdle in such dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring flowers in last month's newspapers.
Let be be finale of seem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.

Take from the dresser of deal,
Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet
On which she embroidered fantails once
And spread it so as to cover her face.
If her horny feet protrude, they come
To show how cold she is, and dumb.
Let the lamp affix its beam.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.