Him: If it takes this much work to get a girlfriend, then screw it. I won’t bother.

Me: Ok. Stock up on lotion and tissues because you’ll need them for a very long time

People really should know by now I don’t give false comfort.

However, this exchange got me thinking.

I’m starting to get annoyed at women that say their relationship with a guy they like is “Fate” or “Destiny’ binding them together.

Because that truly, deeply cheapens a man’s work at self-improvement and self-maintenance.

It’s not some magic force.

It’s the fact some men (like myself) work at being the best we can.

And we never stop.

I didn’t get good at writing, being charming, playing guitar, writing music or being witty by sitting on my ass playing video games or watching TV.

“Fate” didn’t give me any of that.

I gave it to myself.

Consequently, by being these things, women are often attracted to me.

Because I have value, passions, drive and skills.

Conversely, I don’t give Fate or Destiny credit for a woman working hard to stay in shape, really learning how to talk to and relate to a man and doing everything she can for him to demonstrate her love and affection.

She put the effort in it and deserves the credit.

If you want to thank otherworldly forces, in some rare cases that’s Ok.

Such as somehow recrossing paths many years after meeting one another.

Or encountering someone in an unlikely/unexpected place.

In other words, I’ll let folks be grateful to Higher Powers for introducing them.

That she continually gravitates toward men that won’t – or can’t – commit.

That she’s always in “open” relationships.

I tell her:

You’re simply repeating your relationship with your dad.

Thinking she’s caught me in an error, she quickly replies:

“Ah, but I never had a relationship with him!”

To which I retort:

Exactly.

You don’t have a relationship with any of them.

It was at that moment I watched the epiphany play across her face.

“Little Suzy, she was only twelve
She was given the world
With every chance to excel
Hang with the boys and hear the stories they tell
She might act kind of proud
But no respect for herself
She finds love in all the wrong places
The same situations
Just different faces
Changed up her pace since her daddy left her
Too bad he never told her
She deserved much better”