Amek was only 11 years old when the evil nazis rounded him up and sent him to the Auschwitz Death Camp. The Death Camp where the nazis killed all the children under 18........er, under 16......er, under 1.56 meters high.

The evil nazis made 11 year old Amek labor for 6 years at the Auschwitz Death Camp (Amek queued up early for a good seat, apparently) Then the evil nazis put Amek on a Death Train. Amek was so skinny you could count all his ribs.

Then the nazis took Amek out of the Death Train, and tried to machine gun him. Amek didn't want to be machine gunned, so he ran away!

Then Amek hid in a hay stack. Then some American (negroes?) who were driving aimlessly around Poland rescued him.

After poor Rivka had been shot in the head and fallen into the pit, miraculously surviving, corpses started falling onto her head, and she was buried alive! Then she started suffocating. Then she realised she was alive!

She started crawling her way out, but dying victims started, and I quote: "biting at my legs and trying to pull me down!" But she got away from the evil undead!

A farmer found her and took her to a forest where she joined a group of Partisans. Then she realised she was all alone in the world and wanted to die!

She returned to the grave and clawed at the fresh dirt that had been thrown over it. She was digging with her fingernails, wanting to join the dead, but the grave did not open.

Not only did she survive the Holocaust, she survived the zombie outbreak!

It seems to me we would be doing the whole world a great service if we advocate a Holocaust™ Knowledge Test, to ensure we Never Forget℠. It should definitely be part of the entry qualification at all colleges, I'm sure, right along with the SAT and ACT tests. Although I am unworthy, I will presume to make a small start at such a Holocaust™ Knowledge Test, to be administered to all students, everywhere on earth. I base the test on Survivor® eyewitness accounts, since the Survivors® would be the ones who would know, of course, from their own personal experiences.

Further, while science is often a matter of theory, and subjects in civics are often matters of opinion, students who study for the Holocaust™ Knowledge Test would gain the comfort and security that goes along with knowing that the material they are studying is absolutely, factually true, without question. It would enhance the students' self esteem to be certain they are not wasting their time on matters of mere opinion or interpretation which could change tomorrow. Similarly, colleges and universities are often accused of presenting material that is of dubious relevance; however, implementing a Holocaust™ Knowledge Test requirement would be a clear demonstration that an institution of higher learning takes eternal factual truths seriously.

Much more could be said - indeed, volumes could be written in advocacy of the universal Holocaust™ Knowledge Test - but a demonstration can be worth volumes of description. Thus, let us proceed to a sample Holocaust™ Knowledge Test.

Answer the following multiple-choice questions.

1. When the evil Nazis put medicine in the jews' coffee, what were they trying to stop?
A. Rebellion
B. Disease
C. Crime
D. Menstruation

8. After the body of a jew was burned, how long would the ashes continue to squirm?
A. 1 minute
B. 15 minutes
C. 3 hours
D. 3 days

9. When the evil Nazis drafted a jew, but found that he was too sedentary to work, what did they do with him?
A. Gassed him
B. Shot him
C. Whipped him
D. Sent him home without pay

10. How would jews be tied together to burn completely and leave no ashes?
A. A fat man, a skinny woman, and a child
B. Two skinny men, and a plump woman
C. Three fat children
D. A plump woman, an emaciated man, and a child

11. What color were jews after they were gassed?
A. Blue with red stripes
B. Green with yellow stripes
C. Blue with pink spots
D. Pink with green spots

12. What story did the evil Nazis force the jews to read while the bone grinding machine was running?
A. Hansel and Gretel
B. Cinderella
C. Little Red Riding Hood
D. Jack and the Beanstalk

13. What would a jewish child use to make fire while hiding in a forest?
A. Matches
B. Stolen gasoline
C. Flint
D. Damp stones

14. How many children would a jewish woman have after being sterilized by the evil Nazis?
A. None
B. One
C. Three
D. Two

15. What kind of footwear would a jewess take along to save her life in a Death Camp?
A. Running shoes
B. Wooden clogs
C. Slippers
D. Ski boots

16. What was used to torture jews at Belzec before they were gassed?
A. Electric shock
B. Whips
C. Clubs
D. A mandolin

18. When a jewish child found it necessary to jump into a river to save drowning jews, what would she wear?
A. A swim suit
B. Scuba gear
C. A snorkel
D. A teddy bear costume

19. What did the evil Nazis do to jews when they didn't curry horses or polish boots well enough?
A. Shot them
B. Gassed them
C. Starved them
D. Fired them

20. What did Arthur Koestler contribute to helping the jews against the evil Nazis?
A. Praying about slaying
B. Blabbing about stabbing
C. Hooting about shooting
D. Screaming about steaming

I'm sure that everybody here got a perfect score on this sample Holocaust™ Knowledge Test. We can only hope that in the future all the people on earth will get perfect scores on their real Holocaust™ Knowledge Tests that they will be required to take - so that we Never Forget℠.

If there are any teachers who read this, and question the Holocaust, how about, when it comes to your turn to fill the kids heads with stories of &quot;soffrink&quot;, you work into the lessons a way that will get the kids questioning the logistics of rounding up and transporting millions of Jews, using much needed rolling stock, rail space, and personnel. Give them some of the &quot;facts&quot; that we all know, such as the &quot;fact&quot; that chidren, the sick, pregnant women, old people, and those deemed unfit for work were &quot;gassed immediately&quot;. Then hit them with a few of these stories that feature 6 year old kids, or women giving birth in the camps. Or maybe someone who was sick and got treatment in a hospital. Get the kids asking awkward questions, even if its among themselves, and get them to start digging and seeing this event for what it really is. I'm not a teacher, and left school 25 years ago, so I don 't know how much independence teachers have in preparing lessons these days, but something must be done to get the kids to start thinking for themselves about this, and not taking it as gospel truth, &quot;cos I saw the pictures on the telly&quot;.

Henry was only a young man when the evil nazis captured Henry. The nazis gassed Henry's entire family. But the evil nazis needed Henry to spend 4 years in the Death Camps, painting their offices, so Henry was spared.

Then the evil nazis tried to Death March Henry. But Henry hated Death marching, so he ran away!

"That's something I went through in my life; it's not made up," said Pestka, whose parents and siblings did not survive the death camps.

He was able to survive by convincing his captors he was an accomplished painter whose talents were worth keeping around, Pestka said. It also kept him supplied with bread, which he was able to share with fellow prisoners.

I'm trying to figure out which is the taller tale here, his survival, or his sharing bread with his fellow jews? In all the other sad tales, they ate things other than bread. Oh the suffink.

The old jew has been telling this sad tale over and over for 30 years.

From 1941 to 1943 the evil Nazis put Werner to work as a slave. Then, in April 1943 the evil Nazis decided to send him to Auschwitz, he survived there until the Ivans arrived in Jan 1945. The Nazis evacuated the place, taking all the jews on a death-march. One day Werner heard some shooting at the front of the line. When Werner found out the evil Nazis were shooting a jew he ran away!

In the late 1930s Merhav's poppa, Walter, didn't have £500 to enable Merhav's grandpoppa to run away! Consequently grandpoppa perished at Theresienstadt. This made Walter very sad and he never spoke about it at home after the war.