Lesson #12 – What I wish I knew one year ago (A note to me ) – Part 2

In just a couple of weeks you are going to wake up just before midnight and it will be because your waters have broken (thank you induction!). When you call the Midwife and tell her that you felt a popping sensation in your belly, she is going to sound doubtful. That’s okay. Don’t be too perturbed, she will understand a short time later.

That feeling of anxiety and fear that you have as you are walking with the Midwife into the delivery room, that’s normal. The stabbing pains, unfortunately, they’re normal to. You will call your husband and tell him that it’s GO time. You will feel an overwhelming sense of uncertainty and as though you are all alone, despite the two midwives that are with you. This will only last until Aaron arrives at the hospital. You will be immediately be comforted by his calming presence and reassuring words.

There are some things that I just can’t prepare you for. The constant and relentless pain from contractions and a couple of other interesting developments that you don’t need to know about before they happen.

Here’s what you really need to know about the birth. Aaron will be there with you, supporting you every single second. He will reassure, encourage and love you throughout this experience.

The truth is, it will be scary and it will hurt (a lot!), but you will get through it. You can do this.

When the birth is over and done with, a tiny little human will be placed on your chest. You will look at that baby and be astonished that it’s all over (you are such a rock star!) and that you have the most magnificent gift of all…. A healthy new baby.

On too many occasions you will be unkind to yourself. There will be countless times when you will put your head in your hands and sob, wondering why this poor child has been cursed having you as their mother. Know this, you are doing the best that you can. Your best is good enough. You are a good mother.

Your baby will have wind and will spend the first few months crying A LOT. I promise you, it’s not your fault. It’s nothing that you did wrong. You didn’t cause it. Giving that baby a dummy, driving them in the car or giving them cuddles won’t make it worse. It is what it is. It won’t last for much longer, just hang in there.

Rocking bub to sleep and laying down with him will make things more calm. It will mean that the baby gets some sleep and you get a reprieve (even if it’s only brief). While this isn’t the approach recommended by some, it will make things better for you both for a while. Do what you need to do to get through. Remember, you can’t please everyone (you aren’t a jar of Nutella after all).

You will be offered many opinions and pieces of advice from family and friends. While these people mean well, they aren’t in your place and doing what you are doing. Try not to feel judged by these conversations, that isn’t their intention. Take the onboard what you think might be useful and store the rest away for potential future use.

There are going to be times that you feel all alone and hopeless. While this won’t happen often, please remember that these times will be fleeting. It’s okay to ask for help. It doesn’t mean that you are weak or a bad mother. It fact, it actually means that you are strong and a good mother. A mother who is trying to do her best for her baby and herself.

When someone offers to help you, accept it. Stop thinking that it’s polite to say no or that people don’t really want to help. If it is offered, say yes.

You are going to be tired. Actually, you are going to be exhausted. There will be times when you won’t how it is humanly possible to exist on such little sleep. You will do it. You will do it because you have to. As strange as it sounds, you will actually get used to it.

This is just the beginning of the things you need to know. Don’t worry, I’m not going to leave you in the lurch. You have a little bit of time before things get crazy after all!