We Put 5 Sex Myths to Bed

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Who knows how randy rumors get started. The point is, there is a lot of misinformation going around about what gets guys off between the sheets that could possibly be keeping you and your guy from reaching ultimate pleasure. "When you operate under false assumptions, you are not able to give your mate what he truly wants and needs," says sex therapist Brenda Schaeffer, PhD, author of Is It Love or Is It Addiction? Well, it's time to set the record straight. Here, real guys — and some sexperts — debunk five of the most common sex mistakes.

Myth 1: Guys Like Kisses with Tons of Tongue

Fact: You might think that all guys are into full-on Frenching all the time, but it turns out that many men prefer soft, gentle kisses to tonsil hockey. In fact, William Cane, author of The Art of Kissing, has actual proof. He surveyed 50,000 men and found there are 30 different kinds of smooching moves guys love that don't involve jamming their tongues into your mouth or jamming yours into his.

"One of the favorites is the sliding kiss," says Cane. "Start by kissing your guy gently around the perimeter of his lips, then brush your mouth across his cheek, before moving down and nibbling his jaw line." Jonathan,* 25, prefers what Cane calls the lip-o-suction. "I suck on her top lip while she sucks on my bottom lip," he explains. "Then we switch off. There's something kind of innocent about it, which is pretty hot."

*Names have been changed.

Myth 2: Men Think Manual Action Is Boring

Fact: Most men love hand jobs. After all, when you think about it, it's how they give themselves pleasure. What men don't love are bad hand jobs. To perfect your manual MO, take your cue from the master, i.e., your guy. "The single best way to learn how to give a good hand job is to watch him masturbate, since he's ultimately the real expert of his own body," explains sex therapist Sandor Gardos, PhD, founder of mypleasure.com.

But if he's a little shy about giving you a do-it-himself demo, here's a manhandling move that can't miss: Put a dab of water-based lube on your palm and rub your hands together to warm it up. (Make sure you keep him well lubed throughout the act.) Then wrap one hand around his nerve-packed head and work your hand up and down his shaft. Begin slowly and increase your speed and the amount of pressure you apply as he starts to harden.

If you really want to make his brain fog, add this twist, suggests Dave, 25. "Wrap both hands around the penis and twist them in opposite directions up and down the shaft. It's amazing." A word of caution: "As he reaches the point of no return, avoid touching the supersensitive tip," warns Gardos. "And don't stop or slow down until about 10 seconds after he ejaculates." This gives him a chance to come down, so you don't inadvertently cut him off too soon.

Myth 3: He Wants You to Get Him Off ASAP

Fact: Guys know that the longer they wait to orgasm, the better the payoff, because building the momentum results in a more intense climax. The problem? It's a whole lot easier said than done. "When a man is fully aroused, he might have a hard time holding back," says psychologist Debra Mandel, PhD, author of Healing the Sensitive Heart. "But women wrongly assume that his escalating excitement means he wants to ejaculate as soon as sex begins."

So how do you prolong his — and your — pleasure? For Devin, 31, it's all about taking a time-out. "If I keep going at it with the same intensity for too long, I'm a goner," he says. "So my girlfriend and I do the stop-start thing. We'll have sex for a while, and then when I start to get really excited, I'll pull out — way before I'm about to climax. Then we'll take a breather for a couple of minutes and we'll make out or I'll go down on her for a while or whatever. Afterward we'll get back to intercourse. We'll do this off and on until I just can't hold off one more second, and the orgasms are unbelievable."

Another hold-him-back trick: Try the squeeze technique. To do it, have him pull out, place your thumb and pointer below the tip of his penis and squeeze firmly. This will cool him down stat.

Myth 4: He Doesn't Want Your Teeth Near His Member

Fact: While no guy wants you gnawing on him, little love nibbles are pretty damn fantastic. "The problem with using teeth arises only when they scratch his skin or you bite down too hard," says Gardos. One big fan is Thomas, 25. "My girlfriend has this awesome move where she gently grazes me with her teeth," he says. "It's such a completely unique sensation. And there's also the fear that at any moment, she might cause pain, which makes it that much more exciting."

His testicles are also prime territory for some light dental work, but make sure you tread with caution. "It's enough to simply hold a testicle in your mouth without actually biting down on it," says Gardos. But be warned: The only spot that should always remain a teeth-free zone is the frenulum, the nerve-centric section of skin that runs along the underside of the penis.

Myth 5: If You Get Too Kinky, He Won't Want to Take You Home to Mom

Fact: The old Madonna-whore complex is more dated than dial-up modems. Seriously, any quasi-evolved man who's worth your time knows full well that a woman who's willing to push her bedroom boundaries a little bit (er, hell, even a lot) is worth more than box seats for him and all of his buddies at the Super Bowl. "Today, men want passion with an emotional connection. Most men love when a woman feels comfortable enough with him to explore her sexual desires," says Schaeffer. "And they also know that sex is better when there's deeper feelings involved."

That's what Bob, 33, found out when he met his current girlfriend, Chelsea. "In the past, I had either great sex with random chicks or so-so sex with serious girlfriends," he recalls. "But Chelsea is totally different. Not only is she someone I'm proud to bring home to my parents, but she also blows my mind in bed. She'll play dress up, try lots of positions and have sex in different places. Her willingness to experiment doesn't make me think less of her; it's actually made me love her more."

Accidental Turn-ons

Sometimes men's pleasure triggers shock even us. Here, five guys reveal the surprising things that fire them up in the sack.

"My inner thighs are my weakness. When a woman licks me there, it drives me insane. A lot of guys don't have any hair in that area. I think it's nature's way of clearing a path for her tongue."—Sam, 24

"I once caught my girlfriend masturbating when she thought I was out of the house. It was the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my entire life."
—Dan, 30

"A back massage is good, but a nice, firm butt massage — that's even better. I really love it when a woman firmly kneads my cheeks with her knuckles and really digs in there."—Oliver, 27

"I dated this girl who liked to suck on my toes. At first I thought it was freaky, but it feels damn good."—John, 24

"I'm not sure why, but I absolutely love when my girlfriend pulls my hair right as I'm climaxing. It's like an extra rush."—Thomas, 29