How to Appear Interested Without Looking Desperate

If you can get past the grating title of David DeAngelo’s newest column for AskMen (“Top 10: Ways to Make Women Chase You“? Ugh.), you might find yourself begrudgingly admitting that the man has some good advice.

The basic method is to strike the right balance of interested, but not dependent. In DeAngelo speak, this is called “Don’t be a wuss!” In normal speak, it means don’t act too eager (even if you are). This is absolutely true whether you’re trying to get women or men to chase you. Act absolutely self-confident, even if you have to fake it:

Don’t say leading things that show a lack of self-confidence: “Am I your type?” “I think I really like you….” “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Don’t linger too long after dates, or call right away, or make it otherwise seem like you don’t have anything better to do or are overly preoccupied with letting this one get away.

Don’t shower him or her with unnecessarily flashy gifts. Don’t get me wrong: if you genuinely and spontaneously feel like making a nice gesture, go ahead. But don’t blow half of your paycheck on fancy gifts just because you think it will make him or her see what a great boyfriend/girlfriend you’d make. Be confident that you are enough.

If you meet him or her at a bar or party, know when to pull out and say “I have to get back to my friends but maybe I’ll see you later.” Of course, you’ll make it a point to see them later. But the point is, don’t make it seem like your night relies on them.