It’s inevitable that along our journey we will encounter people who do not honor their word and there may also be times when we do not honor ours. Life is in constant motion, so change is understandable and oftentimes expected; and that is okay, normal and healthy. However, what is NOT okay or healthy (although unfortunately quite normal for some) is to not follow up in a timely manner with the others who are involved or to disappear altogether.

There is mind logic and emotional wound logic.

Mind logic knows that it someone does not honor their word, follow through, lies, manipulates, etc. that THESE are a reflection of him/her and has absolutely NOTHING to do with the recipient (you). It is a choice to engage in these low energy, life taking, emotionally wounding behaviors.

However, ‘emotional wound logic’ experiences these as triggers to the feelings of:

Rejection

Abandonment

Not good enough

Because somewhere (oftentimes in childhood) this wound was established. Perhaps it was caused by an absent parent. Logically, now as an adult you know the separation of your parents or decision for dad/mom to not be active in your life has absolutely nothing to do with you. However, as a child who may have waited for hours for that parent to pick you up and felt rejected, disappointed and/or not good enough when he/she did not show this feels familiar.

For the child who never knew their parent and longed to be ‘seen, heard, validated and loved’ this feels like the familiar rejection and abandonment.

When someone does not honor their word (i.e. stands you up, doesn’t follow through, disappears, cancels at last minute with no explanation, etc.), especially in the vulnerable romantic, heart centered space; this exacerbates the ‘not good enough/worthy’ wound.

And every disappointment (usually in the romantic arena) makes this ‘groove’ a bit deeper until it becomes a well-worn path to emotional hurt. Although you have made healing a priority and have made exceptional strides in this arena, it still stings when it happens.

At Love Grows we like to focus on your ‘power’…what do you have power over?

You cannot change or control the way this person CHOOSES to interface with the world (believe me, their behavior is NOT person specific to you; this is how he/she interfaces with the world) but YOU do have POWER over the narrative you tell yourself and the role you play in it. Sure, you can choose to be the victim, where you have no power and this happened to you. OR (my preference/recommendation) is to choose to view yourself victorious where you are abstracting the lessons, tools and wisdom from this experience.

What did you learn about yourself?

Is there anywhere you could have made different choices?

What is this experience here to teach you?

Were there any red flags your intuition felt/perceived but you over-rode? Why did you over-ride them?

Which behaviors/characteristics trigger your emotional wounds?

There is a purpose why your paths crossed with each other at this particular juncture. There are no mistakes.

Find the lesson.

Discover the wisdom.

Own your power.

…but whatever you do, do NOT allow this to dim your light or belief in goodness, abundance and love. Your ultimate power is to create in your mind and heart the vision you seek to manifest and experience on the physical plane. Do NOT give away your power to what is a temporary, minute experience in the grandness of you and your life adventure! Onward and inward in love!

Unfortunately, it seems we live in a society that is more concerned with:

The external than the internal.

Quantity instead of quality.

Trends instead of the classics.

Hook ups instead of relationships.

Shallow instead of deep connections.

When you prioritize your external and neglect your internal ESPECIALLY when emotional wounds are involved the result is pursing external entities in attempts to medicate, ignore or silence the pain.

No amount of make-up, couture, labels, vehicles, plastic surgery or degrees will fix it. You cannot marry out of your pain. You cannot move away from your heartache. You cannot collect enough passport stamps to heal.

These methods do not result in sustainable healing. Instead, all that happens with this approach is you continue to have your emotional wounds now with flawless makeup, gorgeous couture gowns, driving beautiful luxury cars.

There are many broken hearts and emotionally wounded people who live in very exclusive neighborhoods, jetting across the globe in first class, married into very posh families. There is nothing wrong with wealth, beauty, comfort, and beautiful things. But these are not a surrogate to healing. You can never outrun yourself, my love. Invest in your healing. Love Grows is here to help. Contact us today to schedule your sessions. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS

There is a saying, ‘Time Heals’ but at Love Grows we do not subscribe to the mere passing of time as the elixir to healing emotional wounds.

Time + Concerted Action is required to heal emotionally as it is to heal physically and financially.

For example, if you sustain a physical injury, the passing of time alone will not heal the wound instead time + no action will result in: weak muscles, loss of full range of motion with each day you are not involved in some sort of rehabilitation. The passing of days without changing your spending and saving habits will not move you closer to becoming debt free.

The same is applicable to your emotional health. Time + Therapy is the most sustainable way to heal your emotional wounds.

Time alone does not heal your heart, there are very specific tools needed for this level of "heart work". Therapist are similar to any other professional. If you have an issue with:

⚠ Your car, you take it to the mechanic or dealership

⚠ Health - the appropriate health care provider

⚠ Finances - consult with an adviser

⚠ Hair – hairstylist, barber

⚠ Dietary – nutritionist

⚠ Fitness – trainer

There is no shame or stigma associated with seeking help from any of these professionals so why is emotional health different? Life is on the job training, where you are learning, implementing, revising and implementing again all in real time. Unfortunately, there is no trial run or a simulation version where you can practice and perfect everything before implementing. There are unexpected and emotionally painful experiences (i.e. death, divorce, miscarriages, conception challenges, job loss, abuse, etc) you may experience on your journey and despite what others may believe, you do not have to heal on your own. Seeking therapy does not bring into question your masculinity, strength or capacity, instead; to the contrary it proves the following:

❤ You have made your emotional health and healing a priority

❤ You know your well-being is worth the investment

❤ You are serious about healing and are taking the fastest route by partnering with a professional who has the tools & expertise

Do not allow archaic thinking to keep you from healing your emotional wounds. Seek a therapist. Make the investment. Do the work. Improve the quality of your life. We are here. Contact us today. – Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS

Although you may have forgiven someone, it is possible they have not forgiven you or their own emotional wounds serve as a block, hindering their ability to nurture the space (friendship, relationship).

This is evident by the 'emotional jabs' they inflict upon you. By inviting these individuals into your life, these 'emotional jabs' will exacerbate any of your residual wounds, prolonging the healing period. It is the equivalent to inviting them into your beautiful, clean, new house (symbol for forgiveness and new beginnings) and they enter with muddy construction boots, walk around your living room, plop down on your new sofa and then say,

'For a new place, it sure is dirty! What kind of person lives like this? Why can't you take care of stuff? By the way you keep your space, you aren't welcome in mine.'

Either they do not realize or refuse to be accountable that they are the one who brought in the mud. Never allow anyone to convince you their 'muck' is yours. - Misha N. Granado, MPH, MS