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Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Trouble

I first got in touch with other trans people in 2003 and had
my first makeover at the Boudoir in 2004, which was my first physical contact
with the T world. Since then I have been in touch almost daily with other trans
people and, from about four years ago, started to meet up with them regularly.
This contact over the last decade has been an exhilarating, affirming and
positive experience.

Until now.

Over the last two or three months I and many others have
been subject to a much greater than average degree of online trolling and
abuse. My favourite website, Angels, for example, seems to have collapsed with
many people leaving because of the aggression. I’ve taken it up with the
moderators but the problem seems to have worsened. It is very sad, rather like
seeing the face of an old friend being punched whilst bystanders watch and then
turn to leave. Note that my disappointment is by no means as intense as that of
other members who have contacted me about it and expressed some strong views.

But more troubling than this is the personal aggravation
that I have been subjected to all of a sudden.

Just for instance, the wife of a TGirl I had been happily
meeting up with these last couple of years apparently thought I might be a
mistress having an affair with her husband whom she’d only just found out to be
a transvestite. Being put in that awful and undeserved position has shocked me,
not least because I had previously been led to believe that she knew of his crossdressing.
You can imagine how enjoyable it was to have an unexpected phone conversation
at work with an angry wife on such an intimate subject.

Other friends whom I have taken to lunch seem to have
decided that I don’t shape up to some new-formed ideals of theirs and have
attacked me very unpleasantly and quite unexpectedly after some years of
friendship. One even set up an account on a site specifically and exclusively
to send me a nasty email, before closing that account so I can’t reply. How
cowardly is that?

Worse are the communications from some political groups
contacting me via another ‘friend’, without any agreement on my part, who
somehow think that I may be interested in their form of violent protest and even sent me a magazine revelling in photos of policemen and others with
their heads kicked in.

Whilst abuse of trans people is certainly
wrong, the abuse, supremacism, hate and violence put out by certain trans
people and organisations are totally unacceptable. Many people at Sparkle, the national transgender celebration last
weekend, pointed this out, too. There is an unease and dislike in the
mainstream trans community of a minority of snobs and bullies. I am in no doubt
that daring to point out and take a stand against this antisocial behaviour
will lead to further attacks on me, but I feel people should know where much of
the malice in this walk of life is actually coming from. I will continue to
live my life positively, law-abidingly and in the mainstream. I know the law
and my rights after twenty years of working in the field and always apply them, exactly as I did last month when my
frail, elderly neighbours were targeted by nasty conmen and I called the
police, or this month when seeking legal advice for redress for breach of
contract. I contacted police and security last year on both occasions when
transphobic attacks were made on me in public. Being trans and therefore
vulnerable does not, however, put trans people themselves above the law, or
above social norms either. I am necessarily involving a lawyer and police in
dealing with some of this latest behaviour.

Do not attack me, bully me, troll my posts, lie about me,
impugn my integrity or threaten me again. I will take action against people who do so because I always act against persons who harm me. Whilst I am a
gentle person who dislikes conflict, I have overriding senses of justice and
self-preservation.

I will be getting back to my positive outlook again soon,
but after a decade of joy followed by several weeks of sudden abuse, you will,
please, my dear readers, need to bear with me a bit. I’m so sad, sorry and
shocked to have to write this bad news here but it explains why I have posted
nothing this last month.

I would like to thank my many friends for all their love,
help, support and encouragement these last few weeks and to the organisers of
Sparkle which helped me feel positive again. More of that and other good
news in a short while as I gradually get back online.

Sue,we only know each other through the internet, but it is abundantly clear what an honest, friendly person you are (with a good sense of humour, thrown in!)I hate it when people deceive, manipulate or are otherwise hurtful in the way you describe. It makes little difference that it reflects badly on them as they are living vicariously and will move on. There are simply nasty people out there. Take care, live well and post some good news!

Sue, whilst I have never met you I have always felt that you are kind and considerate to all. You live your life with honesty and I am saddened that people are seeking to attack you. As for Angels, I have been a member for 6 years and don't visit so often. It seems that vitriol comes and goes ~ lets hope the trolls find somewhere else to play. I hope that you can rise above and keep smiling

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments, Becca. You're right that trolls come and go, and they seem to be going already. It will be nice to meet you so let's keep in touch and see if we can. Sue x