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Author
Topic: bye for little while (Read 7853 times)

have jelly legs on and off for past week. forgot what is happening in shower this morning, scary. staying in shelter tonight and tommorow going to aids council for help. Feel detached and weird, hate it!!!!Thank-youLove you allGROWLER

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“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Thank u all!Still waiting further results from lumbar puncture done last week. Fucking headache. Seizures getting stronger and more frequent (I am fully awake when they occur, no pain just jerky and weird speech). Today I became convinced they must be psuedo seizures and it was mental illness and I tried to leave hospital. Drs sat me down and said they think it's real and they think it's an infection but still waiting results for which bug.I was so relieved I cried which I only do when I watch E.T. Spoke to my sister and told her about doing. living will. She said she wouldn't want me to suffer and would totally support my wishes. I cried again I am so happy. Doctor s will do a NFR order in the interim tomorrow. Sebastian says hi.GROWLER (Joe)

« Last Edit: August 20, 2012, 07:07:21 AM by Growler »

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“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Hey Joe, I'm glad you're keeping us updated. I may not have posted in your thread up to now, but I do think about you often and wonder how you're doing.

Sorry to hear you got the LP headache - my bf went through that recently and it wasn't pretty. I hope it gets better soon.

I totally understand your relief at getting a diagnosis of sorts. I remember when I was being told that how I felt was all in my head, then I got the hiv diagnosis (on top of hep C - I kept being told [wrongly] that hep C couldn't possibly cause the symptoms I had). I'll never forget when the doctor said "no wonder you feel like shit" (his actual words) - I also cried with relief. So yeah, I get it.

Hang in there Joe. I hope they manage to sort you out soon and that you feel much better quickly.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Hi guysout of hospital a couple of days . All ok, except for ongoing psychosis but I have risperadone to stop the voices and the vampires.. ...lots of fun! Memory is frustrating, used to be almost photographic now strangers who dont know me talk at me like I'm simple. Getting lots of help.....too much!!! People practicaly climbing over each other to save me; overwhelming! They want me on a pension and in my own appartment but I think I'd fuck it up but that doesn't stop them. I'm going to insist on a quiet place with balcony for growing flowers near Oxford St (gay central in Sydney), that should stump them :-)Take care kiddiesGROWLER (The Vampire Slayer)

« Last Edit: August 24, 2012, 11:40:26 PM by Growler »

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“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Sorry, I just feel guilty, having so much while others are in distress. I'd prefer it helped someone in Africa because I can't imagine going through this stuff and being poor, it would be a nightmare!!!No need to worry about us, we're having a couple of days rest at a shelter. Side effect of risperodone is insomnia. 3 days with a total of 8 hours sleep was enough to persuade me I needed a short break.

GROWLER

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“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

I'm going to say bye again for a little while. I get confused and embarrass myself and so if I set a rule not to post for a while I'll follow it. My life is now lists and rules :-) I'm being watched over closely so no need to worry about the bear and I. They'll drag me in if I go off.I'll still be reading. Thanks all, you're all very patient and caring. I hope Matty's ok, I don't see him here?Take careGROWLER

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“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Finally some good news. I was taken to see a community housing one bedroom appartment yesterday. It's in a complex of 12 that are all tenented by positive people and it has a community garden! It's a 10 minute walk to the best HIV hospital in Sydney, 5 minutes to a train station and 15 minute walk to the gay heart of Sydney. I can stay as long as I want (forever if I need to) and it's affordable. It's all a bit overwhelming but I've decided I'm not ready to give up fighting, so I am going to say yes and accept the place and beat the HIV in the brain. Thanks everyone for your encouragement and supporting words. I'll keep you posted.........We're finally going to be off the streets!!!!!!!!! GROWLER & THE BEAR

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“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Finally some good news. I was taken to see a community housing one bedroom appartment yesterday. It's in a complex of 12 that are all tenented by positive people and it has a community garden! It's a 10 minute walk to the best HIV hospital in Sydney, 5 minutes to a train station and 15 minute walk to the gay heart of Sydney. I can stay as long as I want (forever if I need to) and it's affordable. It's all a bit overwhelming but I've decided I'm not ready to give up fighting, so I am going to say yes and accept the place and beat the HIV in the brain. Thanks everyone for your encouragement and supporting words. I'll keep you posted.........We're finally going to be off the streets!!!!!!!!! GROWLER & THE BEAR

That's a perfect set up for you darling -- you'll have some non-medical support from the other tenants hopefully plus the doctor(s) so close by. I'm very proud that you've been dealing with this clusterfuck so well all things considered.

Seroconverted: Early 80sTested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. Last regimen: Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky )Past regimensFun stuff (in the past): HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

like Betty i have been following your post but not posting until now. i had tocome in and say that I was please to hear things are going well fo you and you are not ready to give the fight...I'm sure bear needs you to stick around.

I will be crossing the ditch in January heading for Maitland and then Tamworth, I'll give you a wave on my way through..

I'm out of the refuge and in a proper motel until I move into my new place in about 3 weeks time. The doctor thought it would be a more appropriate accommodation for me being quieter etc. I couldn't go back to the refuge anyway. The staff were questioning me in front of other clients about which community organization was helping me. I couldn't remember the name so I just blurted out that it was an AIDs organization.....not something you want known in a homeless refuge. The motel room is an 80's pastel nightmare but nether-the-less is wonderful. I slept 7.5 hours straight last night, and have a refrigerator and a TV and my own bathroom. I feel conflicted about the help and attention I'm receiving and pissed that it's come to this but hey I figure how can I pass on another 20 or 30 years tormenting the world before joining Steve Jobs in external damnation

I will be crossing the ditch in January heading for Maitland and then Tamworth, I'll give you a wave on my way through..

OMG Jan, Tamworth! You're a country and western fan aren't you?! You're forgiven since I do have a soft spot for Dolly Parton. Love to say hi and I promise to show you the best restaurant dumpsters in Sydney to get a gourmet feed

GROWLER

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“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

The motel room is an 80's pastel nightmare but nether-the-less is wonderful.

The 80s are coming back, dear. Next you'll be seeing women wearing dresses with shoulder pads. And big hair!

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I slept 7.5 hours straight last night, and have a refrigerator and a TV and my own bathroom.

Splendid!

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I feel conflicted about the help and attention I'm receiving and pissed that it's come to this but hey I figure how can I pass on another 20 or 30 years tormenting the world before joining Steve Jobs in external damnation

I can imagine this help and attention is a big change. But you deserve it. I'm happy to see all of these positive changes for you. Steve Jobs can wait.

Cheers,

Henry

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Hi Growler ... You have been on my mind and your thread here got me thinking ... from what you shared with us its almost like you feel you don't deserve a home or a place to nest into and be happy . I know from the replies people have left here for you to read that every one is over the top happy that you are safe and will soon have a place to call your own . It was the best part of my week hearing this news ... be happy and know you deserve this as much as the next guy .