The Perfect Combination Of Chaos And Control

Last year, I had a break up, quit my job, moved, my close friend passed away. I went on a cross country road trip. I galavanted out of the country, moved again, broke my arm, found a new job, left the country one more time, and quit that new job.

Woah.

The point of this year was to heal my mind, body, soul, and to find direction. What do I know? What do I love? What do I want to do? These are questions that I think many individuals have. Not just flight attendants. Not just culinary aficionados. These are questions that I am discovering the answers to. Answers that sometimes appear a lot more slowly than I find comfortable.

I love starting with a bag of flour, a box of sugar, butter, eggs. A little bit of this. A little bit of that. Some love, and before you know it, something has been created. Hopefully, it turned out how it was supposed to. Some may find decorating a cake stressful, but I find it soothing. It is distracting, and in the distraction, I find clarity. I get a lot of thinking done when I am baking. It takes me to a place of calm, maybe like meditation or yoga do for some.

There is a problem in that as much as my stuff might be delicious, I don’t like to eat the desserts that I make. My family isn’t interested in eating them either as they would rather have thin than delicious most of the time. So, the cake that I lovingly created is left alone. That’s not very happy.

I made my own birthday cake this year. It was like a present to myself. But, I don’t want to keep these creations to myself, and so, I quit flying full time so I could build my own company, a company called Cupcake. My dream is to have my own bakery and wine bar, which seems a far away place from “The Flight Attendant Life.” Maybe it was because of the flight attendant life I got to this place, ready to adventure on my own. I don’t know how it will happen, but I had to go where my heart has been leading me.

It feels like I have back tracked instead of stepping forward. I am looking for a stability that my life in aviation lacked. A home would be nice. I’m tired of the hotel existence. I crave two opposites; chaos and control, and I find the combination most perfectly in the kitchen.