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I wish this heavy rain would let up, so I can walk to the post office and get a mailer for Phoebe’s book (I need the exercise). But meanwhile–

Yesterday, for the first time ever, we had over 400 views on this blog for the third day in a row–never happened before. And it’s off to a good start this morning, too. Thank you, readers! And thank you, Christian bloggers, who don’t mind me reblogging some of your posts. You’re welcome to reblog any of mine.

All this, mind you, with my Facebook referrals stripped away. In January, for instance, I had over 700 of them. Now there aren’t any. That I’m doing very well without any help from Facebook is a source of great satisfaction to me.

I look forward today to spending some hours editing the copy for Bell Mountain No. 12, His Mercy Endureth Forever. I was going to go to Keyport in my newly-repaired car to pick up some of the best seafood in America at the Keyport Fishery, but I’d rather not drive on the Parkway when it’s raining.

Byron the Quokka is so excited about the impending climax of our comment contest, he has trotted out his baby pictures. That’s him in the pouch. His mother is very proud of him for growing up to be the kind of quokka who can run a comment contest. It turns out quokkas are very found of comment contests and always seem to have one going among themselves.

Anyway, Byron predicts that we’ll have a winner today, before suppertime–so I’d better keep my eyes peeled. It was 87 degrees here yesterday, and now today it’s in the 40s again, so I don’t feel like I’d be much good for anything more challenging than waiting for someone to win the comment contest.

Byron the quokka is about ready to jump out of his skin with excitement. Well, he does take these things to heart. Ever since I made him in charge of the comment contest, he can hardly sit still.

There are a mere 127 comments left to go before someone posts No. 44,000 and wins the contest–and an autographed copy of The Temptation. Byron keeps checking because he wants to make the announcement. Unfortunately, the bicycle he wanted to give away as a prize belonged to someone else who has since gone home with it.

Everyone can play and all comments are eligible, with only these exceptions: comments abusive of anybody on this site; comments containing blasphemy or f-bombs; commercials disguised as comments; and, of course, comments too blindingly stupid to be published. Other than that, anything goes!

I lost the whole morning to the eye doctor today, but I’ve still got to come up with a Newswithviews column for this week. Think, think, think!

I’d rather not write about the politics that everybody else is writing about: who needs me for that? So I go back over my blog posts for the past week or so, looking for a topic–usually looking for two or three topics that I can tie together.

It’s not as easy as it sounds.

How about… how about… a nationwide epidemic of boredom? I ran a post on that last week. And from there I can segue into the ongoing efforts by people who should know better to get the whole country stoned on marijuana. It seems a natural tie-in.

This past week I’ve been averaging approximately no Facebook referrals per day, and it beats me why. I haven’t been censored–well, what I mean is, no one has told me I’ve been censored.

I wonder: could it be that a whole lot of people have left Facebook, and there’s no one around to do whatever it is that somebody does to create a referral? Could their traffic be that far down? If it is, they’ve got problems.

Patty told me she’d ordered something special for my birthday, “something you haven’t had in a long time.” Well, that could be just about anything. It was supposed to be delivered that day, and we kept checking, until finally a big box arrived on our doorstep. What could it be? It was a very big box.

With my liquidator’s sample knife, I carefully opened it to find a sealed styrofoam container. Inside, resting on a bag of dry ice, were three smaller plastic containers–and an “Oh, no!” moment for us, because the contents didn’t look like anything in particular.

“They’re supposed to be crabcakes,” Patty said, “but what could have happened to them? Did they get thawed in transit?” If so, they might not be altogether safe to eat. Nevertheless, there they were, and I left my wife in the kitchen to see what she could do with them. I didn’t dare ask what they cost. I never will.

But they were, in fact, big, beautiful crabcakes, lumps of sweet crab-meat galore, and I had them for supper.

Oh, bliss! They couldn’t have been better! Food of the gods, ambrosia, unbelievably good. I ate them as slowly as I could, to savor every superb mouthful; but alas, I couldn’t make them last all night.

Like this:

Byron the Quokka is concerned that the comments aren’t coming in as fast as he anticipated. So he has decided to up the ante.

Now the prize will be that wonderful bicycle you see in the picture behind him. I don’t know how a quokka goes about obtaining a bicycle. I don’t see how Byron’s feet can reach the pedals.

But whoever posts Comment No. 44,000 will win either an autographed copy of my new book, The Temptation, or that really nifty bike that somehow fell into Byron the Quokka’s opportunistic little paws. “The wheels actually turn!” he claims. We currently have 43,539 comments, so that leaves a mere 461 to go.

So come on, out there–think of something witty, pithy, or unforgettable to say and post it as a comment!

Just hurry up and do it before whoever that bike really belongs to shows up and takes it away.

I think there’s a future, though–don’t you?–in offering other people’s property as prizes in my contests. There’s gotta be a political theory that goes along with that…

Anyhow, today I’ve made it to threescore and ten. It’d be nice to be working on Bell Mountain No. 13, only the weather has not been cooperating and I don’t have but the tiniest hints of what that book might be about. So I propose to eat brownies, smoke a cigar, and indulge myself in dinosaur videos while ducking the nooze. I’ve already heard more of that than I wanted to hear today.

I was going to go to the Y and celebrate by playing basketball; but with my finger in the shape it’s in, I dassn’t go anywhere near a basketball, One false move, and it’s an out-of-body experience for the Leester. I’ll just have to wait till I’m a little older before I play again.

Most important: Today’s the day our friend and sister Evelyn gets interviewed by NPR about her long opposition to same-sex fake marriage, and we all ought to be praying for her. May the Holy Spirit give her words to speak, words of power and conviction–because only God knows who might be listening. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

So I’ll be around all day, checking in from time to time, hoping to see a great big spike in my book sales [laughs hysterically], exchanging pleasantries… and closely monitoring the progress of our present comment contest! I can’t leave it all to Byron the Quokka; he’s so easily distracted. And of course the hymn shop remains open all day.

Like this:

I have enlisted the services of Byron the Quokka, pictured above, to remind everybody that we’ve got a comment contest going. Not much action on this blog today!

Byron says we currently have 43,447 comments, which means we are only 553 short of a winner. His arithmetic is impeccable. Yes, whoever posts Comment No. 44,000 will win an autographed copy of The Temptation–unless I can come up with something gaudier: maybe one of those supermarket robots that wanders around the aisles looking for spills.

All readers are eligible to play, and all comments are eligible except for the following: remarks abusive to anyone else on this site; comments containing profanity or blasphemy; ads thinly disguised as comments, as if we couldn’t see through that; or comments simply too inane, jejeune, or vacuous to bother with. Other than that, anything goes.

If you’ve already won a contest, don’t be shy–try to win again. Just don’t make a habit of it. I mean, if the same person wins all the time, that could make me look bad…

Like this:

Some of you already know that on Thursday our friend and sister Evelyn will be interviewed at home by National Public Radio. The subject will be her home state of Massachusetts’ court-imposed same-sex “marriage,” and her role in opposing it: for Evelyn has been fighting the good fight for a long time now.

I think we all know where NPR stands on this issue. Evelyn has asked for our prayers, and we need to pray hard for her: because this will be a challenge.

O Lord our God! As you sustained David when he went up against Goliath, sustain your servant Evelyn with courage. As you sustained St. Paul when he was examined by the Roman authorities and King Agrippa, sustain your servant Evelyn with shrewdness and conviction. May your Holy Spirit give her the words she needs to speak, and give them power. And protect her, Father, from the rulers of the darkness of this world. In Jesus’ name, Amen.