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Sunday, November 18, 2012

Mad Man's History Lessons: Timeline 6

In school, I was told that those who don't learn history are
doomed to repeat it. In college, I learnt that the same was true for Linear
Integrated Circuit System (LICS), Digital Signal Processing (DESPO) and Electronic
Power Instrumentation Circuits (EPIC) too. On this serious note, we begin our study of 18th Century's most significant events.

1705 AD: The Norwich Post becomes the first daily newspaper
in England.
The first page was dedicated to the falling standards of football in NorwichCounty,
which lost 5-0 to one financially modest team from Manchester.

1714 AD: The Mercury thermometer was invented by Daniel Fahrenheit. The doctors of
the day ask him to shove it up his A#@E.

1715 AD: The Rectal Thermometer wins the Innovation of the Year Award.

1736 AD: Rubber discovered by Charles-Marie de la Condamine
while on expedition in South America. He uses
it to make bands that hold his hair in place.

1752 AD: Benjamin Franklin shocks the world with a lightning
rod.

1757 AD: Following the victory in the Battle of Plassey,
several young Englishmen enroll for employment with the East India Company, so
as to explore a country that’s a “few years behind” the western world. They
reach India only to realize
that it’s five and a half hours ahead of Britain.

1770 AD: Captain James Cook is commissioned to observe and
record the transit of Venus across the Sun. He discovers Australia instead, and
leaves behind a bunch of inmates who stole some beer from the crew's kitchens.

1773 AD: Colonists gate crash into a tea party and dump tea into BostonHarbor.
British call the act "barbaric," because that’s not how they liked
their tea

1776 AD: United States Declaration of Independence adopted
by the Continental Congress in Philadelphia.
Schools there celebrate their first holiday ever.

1784 AD: Benjamin Franklin is the first visionary ever to
sport the bifocals, which he'd invented the previous night.

1798 AD: The Irish Rebellion failed to overthrow British rule
in Ireland.
The three Irishmen who bunked the rebellion walked into a bar. Those three
remain the most popular Irishmen till date.

I’m sure it’ll take you a while to read up on all the above
information. Especially the adventures of the three Irishmen who walked into a
bar. So we’ll resume our history lessons and study about the Europeans empires that
started conquering nations only to introduce them to cricket and football and
justify the organization of a “World Cup”. So long!