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Since this has turned into what seems to be the sites official joke thread, I'll go ahead and move it into the "Locker Room".

But first a joke:

A young man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers when all the sudden this graying middle aged man stumbles over to the young man and in a drunken stupor yells: "I'M GONNA %^&*YOUR MAMMA BOY! WHAT'D YA THINK ABOUT THAT!" The young man looked at the old man and calmly said: "Give me the keys dad and I'll drive ya home."

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster.

The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy; he'll service every chicken you've got. No problem."

Well, Randy the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Randy.

The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a pep talk...

"Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money and I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.

Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points towards the hen house and Randy took off like a shot ~WHAM~ He nails every hen on there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked.

Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake ~WHAM~ He gets all the geese.

Randy's up in the pigpen. He's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.

The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy in the middle of the yard looking like he is dead from exhaustion.

Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

After nearly 45 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when thewife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving downpast the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg.

He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?'

After nearly 45 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when thewife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving downpast the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg.

He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?'

After nearly 45 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when thewife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving downpast the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg.

He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?'

A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmer's
yard.

The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt.

The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you do me a favor? That old mule standing over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would you do it for me?"

The hunter said, "Sure," and headed for the car. While walking back,
however, he decided to pull a trick on his hunting buddies.

He got into the car and when they asked if the farmer had said okay, he said, "No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going to teach that old cuss a lesson."

With that, he rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and blasted the mule.

As he exclaimed, "There, that will teach him!" a second shot rang out from the passenger side. One of his hunting buddies shouted, "I got the cow!"

A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmer's
yard.

The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt.

The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you do me a favor? That old mule standing over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would you do it for me?"

The hunter said, "Sure," and headed for the car. While walking back,
however, he decided to pull a trick on his hunting buddies.

He got into the car and when they asked if the farmer had said okay, he said, "No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going to teach that old cuss a lesson."

With that, he rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and blasted the mule.

As he exclaimed, "There, that will teach him!" a second shot rang out from the passenger side. One of his hunting buddies shouted, "I got the cow!"