As you can probably gather by now, I live in Boulder, Colorado. Aside from being a beautiful place to live with a million things to do, we also have an outdoor pedestrian mall known as Pearl Street. This is also where I happen to work, so I find myself out meandering on the mall during lunch. Today, Jonny Ringo and I were walking up to Chipoltle to grab a burrito, when we noticed that the enemy was upon us.

The summer in Boulder on the Pearl Street Mall is always accompanied by clipboard toting Greenpeace and Environment Colorado employees. When you’re out trying to take a break from work, they ask you stupid fucking questions like “Do you care about our environment?” or “Do you have 30 seconds to save the earth?”. No assholes, I don’t. I’m on my fucking lunch break, and you’ve asked me the same question for the past 19 days straight.

Today, I told one of the chicks that I didn’t have the time to talk to her, as I was on break, and she asked if she could walk with me and Ringo. Way to put me in an awkward situation, bitch. You’ve already asked me your rhetorical question that makes me look like I don’t give a shit about the environment, and now you have the nerve to force me to be an asshole on top of it, by telling you that I don’t want you anywhere around me?

The City of Boulder has a law preventing panhandling on the mall. This really makes me wonder how these people are allowed to do what they are doing, considering that they need permission from the city to be out there doing this. How the hell is what they are doing any different than a bum asking for change so that he can get a bite to eat?