I’m sorry, I don’t understand the question “if I was Prime Minister?”

I’m sorry, could you repeat that question again? What exactly do you mean when you say “what I would do if I was Prime Minister?” Are you referring to me?

Oh…

Well, I don’t know about that. Honestly, no one has ever asked me that question before so I’ve never considered it. Realistically speaking, of course, I would have expected someone to brief me on the answer to that entirely hypothetical inquiry of what I’m doing here on television.

You think I’m just buying time while I think of something insightful to say to such a basic question? That’s simply not true. I’m not going to repeat “rule of law” over and over again or deflect my answer to someone everyone hates like Donald Trump.

Wait, one of my staff members is waving at me and confirming that yes…yes, I am the leader of a federal political party and could be, in theory, Canada’s next Prime Minister.

What’s that? The NDP? Jesus, when did that happen? Okay…alright. I’m not up to speed on that issue since I’ve been busy memorizing everyone’s name in Burnaby-South.

So anyway, to answer your entirely plausible question, the rule of law must be followed in this case, like in all cases, the law must be followed because we are a country that follows the rule of law. Uh, also Donald Trump.

Now, could you hurry this interview up? I’m worried voters are getting to know me.