Spend 90 years on this planet and you’re bound to learn a thing or two about homosexual love. Just kidding! Here’s a woman who can’t even begin to comprehend her granddaughter’s healthy lesbian relationship.

Yes, you’ll scarcely know whether to laugh or cry at this grandma’s baffled comments about same-sex marriage, pregnancy, second base, what god would make of all this, and—perhaps most importantly—who kisses whose “hole.”