When Your Tween Steals Your Laptop

I love to brag and rub it in your face about the fact that my kids don’t really use technology. They play dolls, run around the neighborhood playing with friends, or spend hours on art projects on the family room floor. I mean sure, as a family we own two laptops(one for me and one for Jed), and we have a shared family iPad, and we both have iPhones…but the kids do not own anything techie for themselves – no gaming devices, no tablets, no iPods, no laptops, no phones..nothing. Basically it’s because we don’t love them as much as the parents who buy their eight year olds laptops and iPad Minis.

But maybe the future therapy bills will be more expensive than just buying them a tablet?

They’ve never asked for anything with a screen or on-button. And until lately, they rarely have asked to use our computers or phones, and I just found the iPad under a pile of books – and it had a lot of dust on it. It also took me three hours to find the charger cord thing.

We also don’t ever talk in hashtags in our home. And my kids have never sent a text. #lame

Oh my gosh – I’m raising outcasts.

But this school year is killing me and my computer time. I know some of you probably nobody have been wondering why I’m not blogging as much, and can you guess why I’m not blogging…

A. I’ve made all of the money I care to make blogging and I’m now so famous that I need to give someone else a chance.

B. I don’t remember my passwords.

C. My 10 year old has to type one million pages a week and do research on one million projects for school

The correct answer is probably actually ‘B’ – but today let’s just say ‘C’ or this post won’t make any sense.

Because now Eloise needs technology to complete her homework – from setting up an email account for her to communicate with her teacher and classmates with whom she is working on projects, to researching the Kwakiutl Tribe, to typing out a five page personal narrative every single week. And if you are adding up all that computer time – in blogging time – that’s about 5,000,000 hours and 3,000,000 posts that I can no longer write because HOMEWORK, and the girl is always on my computer.

So I find myself at 7pm whining and stomping around the house and throwing a tantrum for my 10 year old to just get off my laptop so I can work check Facebook! And Eloise is all “Well maybe it’s time that I own my own laptop!” And I’m all “Well maybe you need to get a job!” And she’s all “You don’t love me and you want me to fail school because you won’t let me use your laptop to complete my homework!” And I’m all like “I did like you better before you learned how to type!” And she is all like “Nobody understands me around here!” And I’m all like “I hope you still believe in Santa because the big guy might be your only saving grace of owning your own technology this year!” And she’s all like “Does he love me enough to buy me a MacBook instead of a cheap Windows machine?” And I’m all like “Have you seen the unemployment numbers lately?” And she is all like “Mother!”

And then I just go watch Orange Is The New Black on Netflix until she gets her paper finished ON MY LAPTOP. But by the time she is done and is in bed at 8:30pm I am too tired to do any work – so I just fall asleep too.

Thus – NO BLOGGING and my TWEEN HAS TAKEN OVER MY COMPUTER TIME!

And I really don’t want to get her a computer. Because she’s only 10 and why does she have all of this homework????

But I can no longer live in technology-denial…..So we are making a plan for her(and her ‘soon to have too much homework too’ sisters) to ‘earn’ money to help buy one laptop for ALL THREE GIRLS TO SHARE and maybe Santa will kick-in the rest.

But until December 25th – you may never see me again. Because homework.

So what say you internets(not that I can respond..BECAUSE HOMEWORK) – do your elementary age kids own technology thingys???

About Tracy

My name is Tracy Morrison and I live in sunny Minnesota. I'm neither British nor a nun - I'm just a Midwesterner with a headache. This is mainly a humor and lifestyle blog that documents the lighter side of parenting. I am an ex-corporate ladder climber turned freelance writer, social media manager, world traveler, and marathon runner. I would love for you to contact me at tracy@sellabitmum.com

My boys use our iPads and laptops. In my third grader’s class, each child has a school-issued laptop that they bring back and forth to school/home. His math lesson for the day is something he has to watch at home and take notes on(I won’t elaborate right now b/c my blood will boil- and do NOT get me started on how pissed I was that he needed to get an email address).

My first grader has to do spelling and reading homework online every night as well.

The more they have been required to do online for school, the more I have wanted to hide all our devices and cancel our internet service.Shell recently posted..9 Soccer Mom Problems

The 9-yr old has my old phone that he uses for games. He only has internet if we are at the house. He has no homework on the computer unless he needs to do a presentation since the new school doesn’t require what Eloise’s school does.

I think if she IS using is that much for school though then, yes, it would be a good idea to get one for the girls. A very simple one. 🙂Elaine A. recently posted..“There’s life after children.”

My oldest has a tablet for games that he got for his birthday a few months ago. However, I think that he will inherit my old laptop since I just got a new one. 🙂
He is in 4th grade and is starting to do some online work with his class, so I imagine it will only increase from here. (My, how things have changed since I was in grade 4!)Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..Between the Lines

We have a desktop that the kids use and I have a laptop that they rarely touch. My son’s middle school issues laptops for each student, but they are slow and crappy so he ends up using the desktop anyways. They have to do everything on Google Docs and rarely turn in actual paper anymore. They don’t have smart phones but they do have minis, which helps when they all need to use the computer at once. They can do a lot on a tablet. The way school works is changing so rapidly. There’s just no stoppin’ it. Good luck to you and Santa.Shannon recently posted..Hello Down There

I normally just tell them (esp Gio) to go and get his LeapPad because that is HIS. However, even in Kindergarten and I know that in 1st grade they will be expected to do math workshops on the iPad at school or home for at least 20 minutes a day.

However, it doesn’t mean I have to like it. I’d like to hand them a book and say, Go learn something.

Haven’t you written about the Samsung tablet from time to time. I thought you were reviewing it, and perhaps I feel like you once wrote about how much the kids love it,and you??? Anyway… is there a keyboard you could get for it, for some of the homework? I am NOOOO techy…. (clearly)

My cheap Windows laptop works just dandy…Charlie started needing to use a computer in 5th grade too and he just used either Mike’s or mine. He decided he needed his own in middle school, and saved up money from birthdays and Christmas to get his laptop, that he ordered himself to the specs he needed. A Mac really isn’t necessary for what they need! Good luck Santa : ) Charlie will be happy to help you pick out a good one!maybaby recently posted..sometimes fortune cookies are true

My kids are playing with my phone right now…but they don’t have their own tablets or anything. It kills me when I see someone looking for a gift for their 5/6 year old and someone suggests an iPad. *I* don’t even have an iPad.Leigh Ann recently posted..Date nights for boring, old people

My daughter has a nook that she uses for reading when she isn’t reading a real book. We do a lot of reading around here.

She does use my laptop for some school things (she’s homeschooled), and she plays a few games on there. We are no where near ready to buy her her own computer, though.Tracie recently posted..I’m Playing Candy Crush On The Nexus 7

My son is 3 and I’ve been pretty adamant about keeping him off technology. However I had to review a children’s app for my job and I let him play with it as part of the process and now he’s hooked. Which is nice in the sense that we can occasionally break it out at restaurants or when traveling on a plane. But it’s annoying in that he constantly asks to play with it at home. So I hid it, till our next vacation.Julia recently posted..Happy Fall Y’all!

We always had a family laptop. Then, I bought a Mac that was for me and Luisa. Then, the family laptop started having issues. Then, two weeks ago, it stopped working and my son asked to use my Mac (yes, it became mine – sorry Luisa) and I freaked. I didn’t want to share (also his handwashing skills remain suspect). So, we went and bought a new family laptop. The end. This homework and technology stuff is expensive.Vikki recently posted..Take Note

My son’s school makes them work on iPads and netbooks at school so I’m not surprised that your tween has to communicate via email and present an online report. My kids don’t own any devices on their own, but they play games on my iPad, which is more than what I do! I haven’t succumbed to Candy Crush yet! 😛Roshni recently posted..How Indian kids in America view Hindu festivals

My kids have technology out the alsdjfaldkgha :)Nooks, kindles, a family ipad, a desktop computer and my laptop that I no longer EVER see anymore. Wait until high school. They want him to take my laptop TO school too! Ummm no – so he will get a laptop at some point in the not so distant future and his sisters will be closely behind I am sure.

Our oldest has a cell phone (unfortunately, I succumbed to the smartphone too soon and absolutely regret it) because she rides the bus in the afternoons. It has smart limits on it so she can’t text/go online during school hours. She doesn’t use it once at home. My middle daughter has an iPod Touch. My husband and I have iPhones. We have a shared Kindle and a shared laptop (kids don’t use the laptop unless the damnation (AKA homework) is required to be completed simultaneously. The kids mainly use the desktop in the dining room though because I need to see who’s on what googling what because I think one of them might type in penis, then click images right after she dresses Bieber on StarDoll.Arnebya recently posted..BlogHer Syndication

This post made me laugh. 🙂 I am holding out on the whole technology thing for as long as I can, but my eldest is nine and laptop homework is not far off! Help!Lady Jennie recently posted..French Onion Soup

OMG I need to VENT here. My three nearly full time stepkids (8th and 5th grades) have online stuff from school assigned ALL THE TIME. I mean, isn’t screentime supposed to be used solely for parents who need an effing break from their kids? If I have to use up my precious screen time for homework, HOW WILL I GET A BREAK WHEN THEY’RE IRRITATING THE CRAP OUT OF ME?

I know my thirteen year-old is three years older than your ten year-old but – guess what – she STILL doesn’t have a phone. And she’s one of the VERY FEW who don’t have a phone in her grade…most of ’em have SMART phones… I called the school to leave a message for her and the admin said, irritated, “can’t you just text her?” Whatevs…

We make them play outside every day. They have this “TV studio” set up in the basement that they pretend to do the news on. They read. They watch TV, but mostly WITH the family. They jump on the trampoline and ride their bikes and play BRIO trains with their little brother and sister.

We’re going to buy them a desktop to share this Christmas and we got them all Nooks (which helps with the online school work and you can password out the internet). But nothing else.

And, you know what? Every time I think we’re being too strict I stumble upon ANOTHER reason reinforcing my decisions. Like my thirteen year-old’s friend who has an online boyfriend who is supposedly 18.

Yep.

I get that the online stuff is cheaper and more convenient for the schools but – dang – I love me some paper homework…

Welcome

Hi and welcome to Sellabit Mum. My name is Tracy Morrison and I live in sunny Minnesota. I'm neither British nor a nun - I'm just a Midwesterner with a headache. This is mainly a humor and lifestyle blog that documents the lighter side of parenting three girls. I run marathons and love to talk about fitness. We also love to travel and model social good with our family. I am an ex-corporate ladder climber turned writer, social media maven(not really) and ruler of my own little universe(very small). Aren't we all. I would love for you to contact me at tracy@sellabitmum.com