IT'S THE YEAR OF THE FUCKING MONKEY, FOLKS!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? THAT MEANS THAT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO GET DRUNK! REALLY, REALLY DRUNK! AND FUCKED IF WE AREN'T GONNA!!! IT'S TIME, FRIENDS, YES, IT IS TIME! TIME TO WEAR BLACK AND PAINT OUR FINGERNAILS DARK PURPLE WITH SPARKLES AND PERCH ON FENCE RAILINGS AND SCARE THE BEJESUS OUT OF PEOPLE!! IT IS NOT YET SPRING BUT THAT AIN'T GONNA STOP US FROM RUTTING IN THE FIELDS! NOOO! WHY? BECAUSE SHE DEMANDS IT, THAT'S WHY!!!! SHE INSISTS THAT YOU RUN NEKKID THROUGH THE SNOWY FIELDS, WAVING SOMEONE ELSE'S UNDERPANTS ALOFT AND SHOUTING "TAKE A FLYING FUCK AT A ROLLING DONUT, YOU!"!!!! SHE DOES NOT WISH YOU TO ROLL TWELVE-SIDED DICE AT PEWTER FIGURINES OR TRUDGE GRIMLY TO WORK WITH A LUNCHPAIL IN YOUR HAND!!! PRAISE HER! BRAISE HER! RAZE HER!!!

12:49 pm - Where Crackheads Go To DieWhen a crackhead cashes in the crackrock for the tombstone, they don't go where ordinary mortals find rest for eternity. There is a special place for them. The Ancient And Sacred name of this afterworld has long been forgotten by Humankind though many now know it as Novacurve's Lower West-Side... "Fruit Valley".fnord.

You might wonder why this is. There seems nothing otherworldly about this "Fruit Valley"; the name certainly doesn't instill dread or a sense of oblivion.fnord. But have you ever been there? It's not a place you'd want to be when the light of day has receded. You may even ask where all the dead crackheads are. Wouldn't you be able to notice the over-abundance of dead crackheads? The spirits of the crackheads are so perfectly suited to the "Fruit Valley" that they can't be distinguished from the native inhabitants.fnord.

If you drive the area (you can slow down but don't stop, and please do not leave your vehicle!) you can see them if you know where to look. If you see someone living (or not) in a broken down car in an alley... it's probably a dead crackhead. If you see someone stumbling along the side of the road with an unidentifiable source of steady bloodloss, and they're seemingly oblivious to it... again, a dead crackhead most likely.

So, now you know, and knowing, sleep well, and know that the dead crackheads are somewhere they belong.Current Mood: Hail Eris!Current Music: Something Ambient... sounds like a deep forest of electrified water towers?

11:06 pm - ALAS!! ALACK!!!The Hidden City is FROZEN SOLID beneath inches and centimeters of HARDENED WETNESS!!Alas, Mighty Eris has huffed her frigid breath upon us sinners and we is COLD!!!We require sustenance, but She will not allow us to drive to the store for more beer.

The Hidden City of Novacurve shuddered in fear as the Malicious Gingerbread ran amok causing wanton woe to the peaceful denizens of the city, otherwise known as citizens. No one knew how to stop Gingerbread. Not enough people consulted their Pineal-Phones and those that did kept getting conflicting and paradoxical answers. What ever were the good/evil creatures of Novacurve to do?

Little did they know that Gingerbread was an agent of the RUBBER MONKEY SPACE-TIME DETECTIVE LEGION! The sinister secret society of advanced primates was unleashing another of it's wicked schemes to kill the spirit of the people.

But, Lo!, a new hero arose from the pudding-headed masses of lower primates... The Invisible Thumb! The Invisible Thumb possesed many powers to thwart the RMSTDL, including: Kung-Fu Grip, Gator Grip, and Key Grip to name but a few. The Invisible Thumb made short work of Gingerbread and let the RMSTDL know what was up.

Now The Invisible Thumb roams the alleys and by-ways of The Hidden City, doing its best to protect us from the diabolical devices of those damned Rubber Monkeys.

07:44 pm - SWEETMORN, 1st Day of ChaosWelcome Again, great Season of Chaos! Another year of witnessing the Goddess at play! IA! IA! Ate Fhtagn!

We find here a new realm to infiltrate and dilute with discord! LiveJournal? Tremble before the Wit and Whim that is the trademark of Our Lady Of Ulcers and Nervous Anxiety!

What? You fear not the inexplicable Irrationality of Discordia? Then you are not human but some heartless, emotionless, robot-like creature. Or maybe a rutabega, cabbage, or some other indeterminate veg... wait a minute... Ha!

Maybe you need to be recruited into the fold, but can you handle what Eris has to offer? What will you do to the Goddess when you find her? CAN YOU HOLD ONTO YOUR ASS FOR THE (w)HOLE RIDE?????

(What the hell is going on here?)

Hail Eris!Current Mood: "Not my Paris backdrop!"Current Music: "We must sacrifice television to save the lives of our townspeople... May God have mercy on our soul