Even though Vaughn had yet to put a foot wrong in an impressive directorial career, and the original 2014 prole-upstart-becomes-world-saver-in-chief-at-clandestined-but-snooty-secret-service romp seemed to have plenty of potential left, every time I saw a Man Utd player's head positioned next to a prominent Kingsman Golden Circle logo in his Old Trafford post match interview, my faith waned a little. It communicated uncertainty, a bit of desperation: needing to wear a bright orange jacket to grab the attention away from Phil Jones just doesn't suggest the class and breeding Kingsman are supposed to define.

Kingsman 2 messes up in the old traditional ways that sequels always used to mess up in but rarely do now – it rehashes all the elements of the first film but bigger and longer. A whole host of very big, and very credible, American stars are drafted in for what are largely just cameos. After the entire Kingsman organisation is destroyed, the two survivors Egerton and Strong, pop over to America, meet their Stateside counterparts, The Statesmen, borrow some gadgets and then largely ignore them. (Spoiler - Tatum shows up, does a silly dance and is put to sleep.) The only new face to make any impact is Pedro Pascal (Game of Thrones, Narcos) but his Burt Reynolds beefcake send up is undercut by him being given Wonder Woman's magic lasso.

Everybody is brought back from the first film, including, of course, Colin Firth. The rationale for this would have been that, even though he was shot in the head in the previous film, you just couldn't do Kingsman without him, and that he was worth the credibility stretch of bringing him back. And I'd agree, but it is probably the film's biggest misstep because they have given him the amnesia plot line, where we have to wait and wait for him to remember who he was. For crying out loud, who has time for the amnesia plotline? Just get on with it.

Also, though Firth is impressively lean for a man in his late fifties he isn't in the least bit mean. He looks as creaky as View To A Kill Roger Moore and considerable digital assistance has been applied to get him through the action sequences.

But that is true of everyone. One of Vaughn's great gift has been to make films that looked like many million bucks more than actually cost, but this time this translates into lots of phoney chase and fight scenes with way too many digital effects. Its hard to get excited by an action sequence where nobody seems to be lifting a finger.

The original film had enough invention and dark wit to make up for its cartoony look. I was a little surprised to look back and see how begrudging “too thin, too caricature, too flip” my review of the original was: I didn't realize how much it had grown on me in the last three years. It was an ugly vision in places, casually cruel and relentlessly cynical but its saving graces were three great scenes – the one in the church, the exploding heads, Michael Caine's last line – aligned with the subversive notion of suggesting the madmen bent on destroying most of the world's population may have a bit of a point, that made it special.

Nothing in the new one comes anywhere close. Yes there are laughs, there are some satirical jibes, some mild subversion and maybe that is enough to make for a good night out. For me though, this is the wrong kind of ugly.