2003/06/13

When I was younger, I remember having a book that talked about "relations" between men and women. It had cartoon pictures of grossly overweight men and women under the covers together, and one page in particular had pictures of women with differently shaped breasts that pointed in all sorts of directions, in an attempt to show that not all breasts were formed the same and that was, say it with me now, perfectly normal. It's memories of this book that have led to my tongue-in-cheek descriptions of sex as being "special hugging" whenever I get the chance.

I.e., someone asks, "what are those two doing together?" and I get to launch into my little, "Well, you see [name], when two people love each other very, very much, they do something called special hugging..." -- that's usually about as far as I get before I get told to shut up, so I've never really had to develop that speech any further.

Nonetheless, this book also attempted to describe the feeling of an orgasm. One phrase that stands out clearly in my mind: It's like a sneeze, only better.

Now, as a young child, I'd only known sneezes at that point. Even as a teenager, it was later than many of my friends before I began to experience orgasms and understand how they felt and how to bring them about.

I'm sitting here at work on a rainy, semi-humid Friday afternoon, and I just sneezed twice in a row; now, as satisfying as that felt to finally do, lemme tell you, it ain't no orgasm.