Sunday, February 28, 2010

oh god. I don't think this comic deserves very much of my time. It's just so stupid. He makes an abhorrently cliched old joke, then he, ha ha ha, acts like he wasn't kidding. He is still kidding, of course - absent any other information at all about these people we have to assume that they are run-of-the-mill xkcd losers, and they don't kill people (unless someone is wearing a hat), they just act sarcastic and self-important all the time.

So basically what we have is a stupid old joke, where someone pretends it isn't a joke, and that in itself is a slightly less old, slightly less stupid joke - but not by much. It's like saying "speaking of giant whores, you know who's a giant whore? your MOM" and then waiting to the (hopefully brief) laughter to subside, and then saying "no but seriously, your mom is a whore, and I paid her to have sex with me. Frequently." It's like taking a stupid joke and saying "nope, i'm not just going to say this stupid thing and move on, I'm going to double down on it and pretend i really think the circumstances of the joke are true. Love me."

Ugh, and in addition to everything I just wrote, panel 3's wording just pisses me off: It should be 'I mean, sooner' or even just 'sooner.' The repetition of words 'kill you' makes it a lot worse, a lot more cumbersome with no benefit. Actually, xkcd did recently have an example of a half-decent final panel. In both cases, the last panel should be used to finish a sentence that we had thought was already over. The last few words are added to subvert the meaning of the first part. It works well in the g spot comic, in this one, by starting a new sentence Randall loses out on the benefit that phrasing could have given the comic.

Like most things in life, it reminded me of the simpsons, specifically, Season 4, episode 1, Kamp Krusty:

In their subfreezing cold cabin, the children lie in their bunks while the counselors head across the lake to ``meet some tail.''

Jay, are you posting next time? I don't even know what is going on anymore.

------------Have I mentioned that MS Paint Adventures is still really pissing me off? I think we've talked about this before, but the intermission is over and it is still true. The story is so convoluted and now is jumping around between so many people, so many times, and so many different interactions that I just want to give up. Maybe I will.

How ironic that Carl would point out a cliché by essentially saying "Simpsons did it!"

ZING! TAKE THAT SUCKAH!

But for serious, the Simpsons example is actually appropriate. A joke like XKCD did there is really only appropriate in some sort of context with good flow. There is no 'context.' Its like #705. Why bother with artistic setup when you just assume that the readership should create their OWN setting! Why aren't readers pulling their own damn weight, eh?

Secondly, MSPaint needs to focus on one person at a time. You can't bounce around like that.

The worst part about this comic is, first you read it and don't laugh. Then you read the alt text which makes you think there's a reference you're missing. Then you realize there is no reference, but the alt text adds insight that makes you realize the characters are even lamer than you thought.

well anon 9:36 I think the same can be said for our fornicating couple in the first panel, how the fuck did they not notice that one die had numbers on it and the other cleary had letters in the form of words?

708: Are these two events supposed to be going on at the same time? If so, this can only make me think of a mom and dad getting it on while the kids play board games. What group of people would share a game cupboard other than a family?

This makes it... rather creepy. Even creepier because Randall's shitty artwork makes them all look relatively the same age. And like they're happening within close proximity.

The alt-text is dumb as hell too. "Wow, do you ever take it?" Who talks like that?

but on the plus side for xkcd, the joke is SIMPLE. I mean it borders on too simple because of how lame the cartoons are. But it's straight to the point. It would be better without the repetition of "kill you," but I still don't think it was that bad.

I feel like this joke is an improvement for Randall. It's like he's been reading this blog and going "wow maybe I should try being concise!" and produced this.

If he could go rewrite his old comics and make them this concise, a lot of his older jokes would be funnier. So even if it didn't work -here-, I give him points for effort.

And I would add some hopeful "maybe this is the beginning of an upward trend for xkcd?" but I read the sex dice comic. no hope left.

You know Carl, me personally I like what you're doing here, I like knowing there's other people who know how crap xkcd is. But it seems like your posts of late are not as enthused as the others. This is probably due to the fact that Randall's just been churning a big barrel of shit and plopping a portion out of it every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday like my elementary school lunch lady on burrito day.

So what I'm getting at is that I wouldn't blame you for shutting shop on this blog from day to day. The only reason I really end up reading the new xkcd comic is to figure out what you're talking about when you analyze it. And it must be terribly boring for you to get up every morning, type in xkcd.com, read a shitty comic, and then have to write about it. Also I think it does more credit to Randall than his comic deserves to have someone write about it.

And jesus christ, Anon 10:08, I just got what was going on in 708. At first I thought after they found the sex die, they called over two friends for some kinky games. I must admit your interpretation makes a lot more sense.

The alt-text would have probably been a better last panel for the dice one.

As for MSPA, Problem Sleuth went through the same thing for a bit, about the time the female counterparts were added. But since most people (that I know of) only picked up MSPA towards the end of the Problem Sleuth arc, what feels like a neverending dry spell now was like, just a portion of your afternoon.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the implication in the new one is that the couple is in the bedroom with one of the sex dice, while at the same time people are in another room (downstairs?) with the other one playing D&D.

Which...I can't think of any living arrangements in which such a scenario would possibly occur. Also who would store D&D stuff in a game cupboard?

And how did neither group of people realize "Hey one of my dice isn't the right one" before they rolled? Hell I check my dice thoroughly before I play to make sure they're all part of the same matching set. I would certainly notice that one of them had words on it.

The setup is weird. I mean, so you have a house where, while a couple is playing kinky "games", a group of people is playing RPG. What the heck is this place? Also, Nate has a point: who keeps this stuff in cupboards? All the players I know (me included) keep their stuff, especially dice, in locations of their own.

Also, how the heck did then not notice the dice were wrong? I get that the first couple might not have seen the dice until rolling(it was inside that weird cup thing), but the players... look, I'm an RPG player, I know we have this habit of treating dices as magical things. Thus, we always chose our dices carefully, because everyone knows there is such a thing as a cursed dice, mark my words! So, logically, they SHOULD have noticed there was something wrong BEFORE rolling. Unless they are playing a joke/kinky gme, but that's not what it seems.

Finally, this also reminds me of The Simpsons, though I'm not gonna remember which episode. I know that Marge got a pair of sexy dices such as that, and Homer kept getting stupid things like "Fondle Eye" and "Bite Hair". Well, what do you know, Simpsons did a better joke than xkcd AGAIN!

"Which...I can't think of any living arrangements in which such a scenario would possibly occur."

Your typical sexkcd there. What the hell, who needs reason if you can go for something wacky and sex-related?

"I get that the first couple might not have seen the dice until rolling(it was inside that weird cup thing), but the players..."

Look, if the RPG players really didn't know about the sex dice (which they don't seem to) then clearly they were stored in another box or whatever so as to hide them from other people. So, clearly, the joke is that someone (possibly one of the non-fondling players) exchanged the dice before so as to fool anyone else. Clearly.

Regarding MSPA, you're just too stupid or not in the target audience or some other cuddlefish-reason, I don't know. Seriously though, I had no problem with any of the recent developments, but then again I got into the comic during or before HS Act 2. (I indeed didn't read Problem Sleuth yet.)

I thought the dice comic was good, too, but I'd never heard of these dice - is that seriously something people get into? My girlfriend had some coupon book that came in this little free kit she got around valentines day, but the idea of reading and following some printed instructions was a complete turn-off for me. I can't even imagine how intermittently stopping and rolling dice could ever improve sex.

ya, the dice one was pretty funny (I thought anyways). But the previous one made me wonder what he does with all of his time. I mean QC cranks out brilliant comics 5 days a week (okay, maybe not all brilliant all the time) and Randall pushes out mediocrity 3 times a week.

@uncivlengr - Yes, I totally agree. SMBC is usually where I go for the funny, but the past few comics have been lame. I'm not going anywhere near the video clips, it just sounds like they would be terrible.

707 was TERRIBLE. Setup was generic to the point of awkwardness, and the joke was hackneyed and unfunny. To top it all off, the suspension of disbelief you need for this joke (seriously, how many people actually work in an environment where you don't know what's going on in another project) goes unrewarded.

708 actually made me chuckle a bit, but I had to hide it out of shame. That, and I didn't want anyone to notice and go "HAY I LUURVE XKCD TOO!!!" Still, as others have pointed out, the setup is a bit unrealistic, but I'm willing to overlook it. I've given up on reading the alt-texts altogether, so no comment there. Bottom line: 708 is a step in the right direction.

Speaking of RPGs - anyone here know where I can find an mIRC group for Battletech or Mechwarrior:RPG? I love tabletops, I just can't stand most people who play them.

SMBC's comic is good 90% of the time, I'd say. SMBC theater was gold early on, but I think it has gone downhill. They started playing around too much with special effects, as well as too frequently inserting their own political beliefs and it just became annoying. Also the fat guy overacts. And he's in every video. But I liked today's (the time-travelling geek).

Whether or not you enjoy it, you have to at least notice that QC at least is done by someone who consistently tries to put out the best comic that he can, especially in regards to the drawn artwork. Unlike, say, xkcd.

@HauptjaegerReally? I know almost literally nothing about anything indie, and I still manage to find snickers enough to not stop reading. So, I'd like to know, why do you consider it so bad? I mean, the guy's art style has evolved over time, which is good. His characters are (mostly) consistent within themselves. The writing isn't unbelievable. Since I manage to follow it well enough, indie knowledge can't be *that* much of a prerequisite. So, apart from a difference of opinion on "funny," why's it "bottom of the barrel" rather than "mediocre?"

What's with people saying 707 wasn't horrible? I thought 707 was the most terrible ever. I admit it doesn't really carry with it anything that would make me rage, it's just sort of very dull, but very quaint - but it is so exceptionally dull. This is a joke, sure, but it's a stock joke. This is a man who supports himself on income from this comic, and has tens of thousands of fans, and he may as well have put out a comic comprised of that boo-who knock knock joke.Fuck you Randall, fuck you.

@Scott: No, 707 was pretty bad. Look, I like XKCD, I actively state this. I've been saying that as long as I don't notice a comic's humour is rehashed or simple or whatever, while I'm reading it, I don't mind. This one, was SO lazy... I couldn't help but notice it while I was reading it. This comic, seriously, may be the laziest comic ever posted on XKCD (I am open to argument on this point!)

706 and 707 are both pretty simple. They're very . . . I don't want to say newspaper-comics, but it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine. The jokes are old and lazy and simple and don't require any sort of thought.

708 was yet another highly contrived setup for a cheap joke involving high school nerdity and sex. It might have been actually funny, except that Randall violated the 30 degree rule in the last panel, confusing the hell out of me. I thought the brunette woman in panel 4 was the one from panel 3 and was wondering why she was talking about a castle guard all of a sudden. Then, I examined the panel in depth (note: a punchline should not be dependent of visual information below it--we read from top to bottom,and information in a comic should be placed accordingly) and noticed that the figures were different. Still, since the men and brunette women all look the same, I was too busy trying to determine if the people in panel 4 started a game of D&D or if it was going on in parallel to the sex fiasco. I really would have liked to laugh at this comic, despite how flimsy and immature it is, but it was so poorly constructed that I kept finding obstacles to my enjoyment of it, ultimately precluding me from finding it even the tiniest bit funny or enjoyable.

I can understand where the QC fans are coming from. I haven't read QC, nor do I intend to, but I do read PvP which I'm sure is a much worse comic than QC. And yet, I still read it. I dunno.

I try to make up for my transgressions by reading good comics like Dinosaur Comics and Toothpaste for Dinner. I would put Chainsawsuit on that list but it's definitely not as good as it used to be now, and hasn't been for a while.

alright, 708 - another example of randy making a n00b joke while trying to look casually nerdy (i bet every single owner of sex dice made a similar observation within half hour of purchase - insider joke fail AGAIN randy).

but the main FOR FUCK'S SAKE I AM ANGRY AT THIS thing for me was panel two.

look at the dice. LOOK AT THEM!

WHAT.

THE.

FUCK.

look, i don't know about you, but if i was drawing a comic that revolved around a dice-joke, and in the second panel i drew the dice in question, and they were repuslively non-ubic on shape, i'd at least say "huh i should redraw that, it'll take two minutes tops".

to either a) not redraw them, or b) not even notice is - and this sounds exagerratedly angry but i mean it and i'd like you to think about why i mean it - offensively poor work from a supposed professional. fuck you randall.

@Leonard: You make a good point about comic structure. I had the same problem as you when I was reading it. I wasn't immediately sure if it was the same couple who were now playing DnD or if it was some other group of people.

I might be on my own here, but I actually think the concept for 708 was pretty good. Situationally speaking, I find the idea of someone trying to play DnD, throwing a set of dice, and having one mysteriously be a sex die to be a funny idea for a punchline. I just... think the punchline itself could have been better written. ...And the setup to reach that punchline could have been more clear.And the lead-up TO the Setup of the punchline could have been funnier.

...

[edit: And the Dice could have looked less stupid]

Fuck, this website has ruined my enjoyment of XKCD. You're all bastards.

You know, going through the list of webcomics I read, I realize now that many are likely mediocre, but still entertaining to me, and I don't think any of them fall in the the traps that XKCD always does. Here's my list, feel free to mock me:Girls with SlingshotsSomething PositiveMultiplexEvil Inc.Gunnerkrigg Court8-Bit TheatreOrder of the StickHelp DeskReal LifeLooking for GroupLeast I Could DoQuestionable ContentPvPPenny ArcadeSaturday Morning Breakfast CerealDiesel Sweeties.

There's a few that if they keep on how they are, I'm likely to stop, since I'm mostly just going on momentum and the fact that it only takes about 20 seconds to read one.

Last panel of Sex Dice actully made me laugth. Just for the idea that someone would point out out that fondeling still did 6 damge as if this made it ok. Problem is This would ahve made me laugth with out any of the stuff before it, and then would have been less weird and creepy. Also would probaly have made more sense. You's atleast just assume they were palying some really weird boradgame or whatever.

Hmm, I used to read 8-Bit Theater but I dunno, it just got kind of old after a while. I'll always enjoy the earlier ones with stuff like King Steve's Kickass Bridge but I think I quit around the time Black Mage went to Hell or whatever.

I guess I don't have the right to mock other people's webcomic tastes so I won't rag on you for LICD but ugh, I can't stand that comic.

For the record, my list is as such:

Dinosaur ComicsWondermarkThe Book of BiffPvPPenny ArcadeSheldonDr. McNinjaChainsawsuitToothpaste for DinnerHark A VagrantxkcdBrawl in the Family

I already mentioned PvP. Book of Biff is surreal, and I don't normally laugh at it but I find it amusing and clever. Sheldon fluctuates between being amusing enough and horribly awful (right now it's in the horribly awful phase). Of course Kellett's art is pretty good and it's a daily comic, so it's a lot harder to be consistently funny. I'm willing to forgive a bad comic more often than not from him.

BitF I find to be usually decent, but occasionally fantastic (I love his Waluigi comics, dunno why, they just appeal to me). The last few aren't very good though, especially the Pokemon one that more or less rips off a similar VG Cats comic.

Rinnon, the problem with that punchline is that they'd notice it's not a numbered die before rolling it.

Like I said, being an avid D&D player, I know how to handle dice, and I always check to make sure I'm using the right set. I would absolutely see a die with words on it, if not for the words, then for the fact that "Hey this die isn't the right color." That ruins the joke for me, he should've noticed.

Also, the bewilderment over the outcome is also... weirdly stupid.

Also this. What would happen would probably go more along the lines of, "Hey, this one says fondle, ha ha." "What are you sure? Shit. Must've gotten the wrong one. Should I reroll them both or just that one?"

@Webcomic discussion: I tried to get into Hark A Vagrant and Diesel Sweeties a couple times, but no luck. As for QC, I don't know that I find it laugh out loud funny much, but I also fall into the camp of knowing absolutely nothing about "indie" and I don't get pissed at it even on the rare occasion that the humor relies on esoteric knowledge. I dunno, I find the comic/characters fun personally.

@Nate8-bit theatre is wrapping up soon, so once it does, I'll retire it, just like I did Bob and George, and just keep it around for when I'm *reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaally* bored. And yeah, LICD is one I'm thinking about dropping reading. LFG too, though I suspect if one recovers, so will the other. I used to read Book of Biff, but I lost it in a reformat, so thank you for reminding me.

Also, LICD is one of the worst comics ever. It is much worse than XKCD and only slightly better than CAD. People who like it should be ashamed of yourselves. LFG also looks like a pile of crap.

Here are some comics that rule: Nedroid, Unwinder (when it updates), Wonderella, White Ninja. These are pretty much consistently funny. I also read a bunch of story-based comics which are not supposed to be funny. And a bunch of comics that I'm not sure whether they are funny or not. But yeah, you all should read the ones I mentioned.

Okay Timofei, in the spirit of the blog, same challenge to you about LICD and LFG that I put out about QC. Why is it such shit? No saying "the jokes aren't funny," it's got to be actual honest critiques if you're going to put them worse than XKCD. I'm not going to defend them or anything, since I really am getting tired of them, but still, I'd like to know why the vitriol. No one's ever actually given a reason, like they do with CAD.

Sohmer is a dick. Guy makes too much money for those pieces of shit. Sohmer can't write.

LFG:Not funny. Not dramatic. Mary-Sue. Cookie cutter characters and fantasy world. Shifting tone. Crammed panels. Erratic plot. Richard is the only character allowed to be funny. Richard is too powerful. Richard doesn't make sense with the logic of the world. Richard has no concrete power level. That elf who angsts while killing people. No thought put into the world or plot. Boring characters. Unclear actions. Bad pacing.

LICD:Not funny. Racist. Sexist. Childish. Formulaic. Mary-Sue. Sohmer beats you over the head with his (usually dumb) opinions.

Sohmer's a dick who can't write and gets paid too much. Beats you over the head with his idiotic opinions.

LFG: Bad pacing. Elf who angsts while killing people (long as it's not a kid it's perfectly ok.) Erratic plot. Richard is a Mary-Sue and the only character still allowed to be funny. Doesn't make sense in the comic world. Richard Rapidly shifts power level. Richard is too powerful. No thought put into the world. Cookie cutter plot, fantasy world and characters. Bland characters. Plot is a vehicle for the joke. What the fuck is going on. Bad drama. Not funny. Richard never gets called out.

Also, I was once pointed to the TED arc in LICD, and that was pretty much the stupidest thing I've ever seen in comics. And the anti-vaccination arc. And the WEBCOMICS SUCK arc (well, at least something we agree on - this particular webcomic does indeed suck). Basically, whenever I get linked to LICD, I really want to punch the author in the face. Yeah, I'm not very good at critiquing things that send me into a fit of anger when I see them.

Timofei, those are pretty much bullshit reviews you linked to, in terms of supporting your case. "The original artists sucked! But, uh, the new guy's pretty good, and getting better... But the writing's horrible!... though it's getting better too... Fuck 'im anyways!" I can accept that you dislike it, that's fine. Like I said, I'm nearly there too. But the hyperbole of stating it's as bad as XKCD doesn't do anyone any favours.

At the end of the first one, I thought simply "and?"After the second one, I blinked about half a dozen times to make sure I wasn't seeing things.At the end of the third, I'm not entirely sure what happened, but it involved eye spasms.After the fourth, I actually managed to stay calm, but decided I needed some angry music to keep that calm going.The fifth didn't so much disgust me as a poor comic, but simply irritated me as an obnoxious argument, and, noting that I'd put on one of the Devin Townsend albums I haven't bought, I just quickly went over the stupidity of it in my head. Nothing special.The sixth... was this whole trip through annoying, humourless self righteousness a set up for this incredibly lame punchline?Although I suppose the completely stupid opinions, one of which seems to suggest persuing a life we enjoy is simply burrying our heads in the sand, were all supposed to enlighten readers or something.

Hey, interestingly enough, that's when I got to know it as well! I think that since I found it, it's only been updated with 2 or 3 new comics at most. Sometimes I go back and re-read them though, they're always just as funny as the first time I read them! I think I'll do that right now...

hey, what's the target audience for LICD any ways? Because if the author is trying to state that he is "smart" in the sense that he has a Phd in astrophysics or something, then he minda fails with all his sex talk.

Seriously, wtf is with the internet's obsession with displaying sexual humour and people continuing to claim that they have had it?

I had a large comment here explaining:how "Rayne/Richard is a Mary-Sue" is not an applicable criticism as that's one of his intentional premises.how being a Mary Sue does not mean the character is an author insert.how weird plot shit and character insertions is one of the basic premises of MSpaint Adventures, and that it's a genuine case of "if you don't like that, you shouldn't read it instead of just complaining".and how blanket comments about a comic series like "it's racist" need to be backed up, and ones like "it's formulaic" also need to be coupled with a reason why that's a bad thing (eg: anyone who complains about Garfield, a cartoon suited for little kids, being formulaic is a dumbass)

Then the Commentbox effed up. So instead you get a cruder, snide summary of what I originally said. Bleh.

Aye, but when the majority of print comics are dumb/formulaic/bash you over the head with politics in hopes of being funny, it's kind of hard not to be annoyed about Garfield's formulaicness. Or it wasn't until webcomics came along, at least.

What the hell is this?

Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.

I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.

Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.

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