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Friday, October 14, 2016

review: BEIIMAN LOVE

Sunny Leone's Imperfectly Perfect Love Story

1 star

Mini Review:

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, they say. And when this woman turns out to be Sunny Leone, you wonder who in their right minds and eyes in their head would reject her romantic advances and why. The movie is horrendous but for the honest emoting by the heroine. Seriously!

Main Review:

You know she’s pretending lust for the camera, and you know it is better than the plastic lovemaking shown in mainstream Hindi movies. So while you are in awe of Sunny Leone’s body confidence and how well she wears all the clothes she does, you know when she stretches on the dining table and let’s the hero (Rajneesh Duggal) watch, it is just that, a show.

That said, you will see that Sunny Leone is the best actor of that entire star cast. And you have seen them all before. So Rajneesh Duggal plays Raj Malhotra, the playboy son of a jeweler father who gets slapped at a nightclub for making a pass at Sunny (she’s the good girl Sunaina). He discovers that the girl works for his father, and yes makes a bet with his brother in law that he will have her in bed within ten days.

Raj seduces her by playing the reformed man and manages to sell old unsold jewelery pieces to unsuspecting Chinese buyers. But Sunaina does not even think that it is unethical, and falls for the lad. Before you facepalm, he has put sindoor in her maang and has had her under gold sheets. The brother in law plays spoiler and shows up with the entire family at the ‘bungalow’ and the family agrees to get the two married ‘properly’. At the engagement ceremony Sunny’s mother is discovered as ‘bar dancer and sex worker’. Raj finds a reason now to reveal that he seduced her to win a bet.

Sunny storms out with her teared up mother after slapping Raj across the face. Again. You wish someone had slapped the author of this soap before it turned into a film. But they’re not as skilled as Harold Robbins, so you watch the mother commit suicide. This turns sweet Sunaina into a revenge machine and she destroys the Malhotras by starting a jewelry company and underbidding everything. Raj in the meanwhile gets engaged to Sanjana, the scantily dressed harpy, who he discovers does drugs and sleeps around. So he comes back to Sunaina and wants to be slaved… I mean saved. Over some non-descript song about how love is everything we see the two pose and make love in a topless car (parked in the home), in an outdoor tub, in bed, on the floor in a library (woah! Sunny reads too?!)... Then she kicks him out of the home for ultimate revenge.

Just when you wonder how Sunny is going to finish the Malhotras off by revealing that the son-in-law was betraying the business by sending her the tender quotes, you watch dirt streaked love-lorn lad on Marine Drive talking to himself. Love has finally driven him over the bend. Sunny spots him from his car, her eyes filled with tears, she wants to get off and help him. Then a series of insult flashback montage happens and we see her wipe tears, put sunglasses on and the frame freezes. ‘You should not insult a woman…’ type life lesson shows up on screen.

Why the whole story as review? So you won’t be curious about the bland lovemaking scenes. So you won’t waste your time trying to figure out why such movies are made. The song ‘Mere peeche, mere peeche, mere peeche Hindustaan hai’ is quintessentially Sunny, and she has a twinkle in her eye when she dances which is one star worthy. But you can watch that online. The rest of the movie, as you can see, is forgettable.

P.S. Years after Kidnap the movie where Sanjay Dutt stared at Minissha Lamba's ample assets and mouthed the words, 'She's grown so much' has any character made the audience double up in laughter. In this film the scantily dressed Sanjana, spilling out of her barely there clothes says a 'bye' to her father (who cannot stop touching her) and Raj's dad (who cannot stop drooling over her) says, 'Kids grow up so fast these days!' offered unintentional comic relief in the movie.