Just Move On Already

I don't know if any of you have been on Fern/30th starting from at least University heading south but if you have, either in a car or on a bike, you'll know that the lanes are so thin that if you were to lay across the street, your body would be the connector between sidewalks across the street. I'm pretty sure whoever designed the roads in this city (including the parking lot spaces that are supposedly big enough for an actual car) was off on his/her calculations as to how wide to build city roads. Apparently they never played Sims. But the Fern/30th corridor is terrible. And that is why I never park on that street for fear that someone will inadvertently (or on purpose) take off a side-view mirror. I've already had the driver side of my car slimed with a fruit slushy, and no doubt by some drunk d-bags after a night at Hamilton's and a few minutes in 7-11.

However, according to one homeowner, parking an RV that is for sale along that road is no problem. Now, this is no simple RV. This is a Vectra, the behemoth of motor homes. It sticks out like I would at a daycare- bigger than all the other kids and just makes everyone uncomfortable.

This Vectra has been parked there for several months. The going price, according to the handwritten note on the windshield, is $18,000. I looked up the price of Vectras and found that a one year old Vectra goes for over $300,000. I did not get the year of the RV sore thumb in my 'hood but it certainly doesn't look new or even one year old. However, that is a very drastic difference in prices, which begs several questions.

What's wrong with it? (subquestion: Did your Aunt Edna die in it while on vacation or something?)

Is it because of the price of gas these days?

Wouldn't it be more cost-effective to just sell your house and live in the Vectra?

Now, I can't really answer the first question (and I don't want to know the answer to the subquestion) because I haven't done a full inspection on the thing. Hell, I'm so short I'd need a step-ladder just to get in the damn thing.

As for the second question, well, I can understand that. Even though prices seem to fluctuate around the $3 mark, that's still expensive. Now, according to my research, these moving buildings on wheels have a fuel tank capacity of approximately 125 gallons. That means that at a cost of three bucks a gallon (even diesel), filling up one of these things costs somewhere around close to $400. As a little side note, I'm sure this makes foreign oil companies quite happy. Anyway. My point is filling up a Vectra costs almost as much as half of my monthly rent. Which brings me to the third question.

To me, this just seems logical. Maybe it's because I've never owned a home before but it's called a motor HOME for a reason... because you could actually live in it. So sell the house instead and do us all a favor and move your second home off the street, hunh? Your little yellow cone directly behind it does no one any good because we still have to swerve into the other lane of oncoming traffic just to get around that mammoth.

Furthermore, where are all the rent-a-cops in those little three-wheelers that give out parking tickets as if they get paid per ticket? Wouldn't this be like a gold-mine for you? There have to be several laws this person is breaking by leaving it there. Hell, you could probably buy your own police department with all the infractions this RV is creating.

By the way, while looking at the parking ticket FAQs on the link I just provided, I found something that really could be relevant in all of this. Tell me if this question makes sense: "I received a parking citation but I do not own a vehicle. What should I do?" Seriously? This only confirms that they're handing out tickets like we're begging for them. They have to be. How can you get a parking ticket if you have nothing to park? Then again, maybe the people that ask these questions live in motor homes and don't consider it to be a vehicle, which I guess removes the motor from motor homes.

AG, it very well could be but I don't think there's much Zen to it. I still can't figure it out, though. As for the trees falling soundlessly, well, to that I give you a one-handed clap, the good ol' solitary high-five.

Pike, it is pretty scary. I would think that would be a giant red flag to the people who receive and have to answer questions.

"Mary, we seem to be getting a lot of questions about parking tickets from people who don't even own a vehicle."

Fish, you don't know me very well... ha. I mean, you're correct that at this point in my life, I do have the sense to not follow the advice of some on this site. However, 10 years ago I would be on my way to the store to buy some pink spray paint and beer. But now, I just curse them on the inside until it boils over and I end up doing stupid things, only alienating myself from society and those that care. It's how I roll but not by choice. Just happens that way. Anyway. As much as I would love to take Pete's advice and give in to Pike's peer-pressure, I will refrain from gaining nothing more than an overnight stay in a crowded holding cell and a future court date.

Adam, that link has a tab for Contacts, and under Contacts, there are numbers listed for various types of infractions including illegal parking, I'm thinking you could call that number and they can answer any inquiries, or direct you to the right department as to how to get the RV dealt with. Assuming you want the RV to be dealt with.

It really is a sore-thumb but I don't want to cause any problems for anyone. Cops drive up and down Fern constantly so if they don't have a problem with it, I guess it's not so much of a problem than I think. Besides, if they removed everything that bothers me, what would I have to blog or bitch about?

Quick update: the RV has been moved... to across the street. Now it's in a much worse spot because leaving the little food mart (Food Bowl) is now impossible. Seeing around that giant anti-masterpiece is quite difficult and makes pulling out of that lot a risky challenge. Now I really might complain. Or go spray painting.