And Then There Were 3

It’s been a while. How’ve you all been? Anything new in your lives? As you can probably gather by my absence our little man has arrived. Dillon Jet Murphy. Oh yes and man what a few….or 6 weeks it’s been. He arrived safe and sound on June 14th, one day early. That’s my boy, ahead of schedule. It’s been an amazing transition and to be honest it’s been pretty fluid. Christy’s taken to mummyhood like you wouldn’t believe. I think it must be something that just kicks in for all you child bearing women. This nurturing, loving, motherly instinct just appears as soon as the head popped out. BTW that’s a whole other conversation. Fellas stay north of the border.

But let me tell you a quick story about that ‘popping out’ subject before I forget it (although that’s not likely to happen me thinks). We were in Christy’s OB’s office for a regular check up. This was maybe 6 weeks before the baby was due. In case you don’t know I’m a planner. I like my shit to be organized so I wanted to go over the delivery day to explain to the doc what I planned on doing. That there should be an indication of how the conversation went. I went in there about to ‘tell’ the doctor what I was going to do during Christy’s delivery. I must have been on something. I went on the say I’d like to be up at Christy’s head on that side of the curtain. My plan was to talk to her to keep her calm and relaxed. You know the dutiful husband stuff: “C’mon girl just one more push. He’s almost there,” and that type of jargon. To his credit he let me ramble on and finish my piece but clearly he was thinking ‘I’m going to fuck with this guy big time.’ Once I was done he very calmly looked at me and proceeded to nearly shit himself laughing. “What are you laughin’ at?” I said. He said “Firstly there is no curtain,” to which my thoughts were ‘There is in the movies, I’ve seen it!’ He went on “And secondly you will be working during all of this.” Silence took over as I pondered this.

Say what now?

As if he read my mind he says “You’ll be right here (demonstrating) holding Christy’s leg up and pressing it back so the baby can come out.”
“You’re havin’ a laugh, the only leg being pulled here is mine. Have you lost the plot?” I said. “I want nothing to do with any ring side seat of said baby arrival. I have no interest in seeing aaaanything liquid or solid coming out of my beautiful wife.” He said “She’ll probably poop.” You can imagine my face. “Ok relax there sunshine” I said. No one in their right mind wants to see their wife ‘poop’ but there are websites for that if you do. Apparently, as he informed me there’s only the doctor, who by the way only comes in for the grand finale of the event, and one nurse. That’s it. One nurse. As you can tell my birth plan wasn’t going quite according to plan. Needless to say it all worked out and no I didn’t have to hold any leg, thank God. The nurse, who’s the real hero here said I didn’t have to. I kept eye to eye contact with the Missus at all times. Listen up fellas EYE to EYE at ALL times.

Mummy and baby did great & I learned I’m a great a great counter. Finally something I learned in school paid off.

Alright that’s it for today. I do have a few more tidbits to tell you so I’ll pop them up in between the 500 diaper changes a day. But you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way. We’re blessed with this little fella.

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