13 Replies - 1834 Views - Last Post: 17 July 2013 - 04:38 PM

I don't know it anymore

Posted 28 June 2013 - 10:23 AM

So, hello.

This year I was studying to become an engineer. I've always had my mind on doing something computer science related.
I chose to do that in engineering because, well, I was raised in a family of engineers.

But I failed my year hard. The first semester I was just lazy.
The second semester I worked very hard. But still, I knew I wouldn't succeed.
I just don't have an interest in anything mechanical related. And that's what most courses were about.

So I said, after the first semester (4/6 courses failed), I'm going to make the best out of this year and next year I'm going to Computer Science.
This semester I failed hard as well (5/7 failed).
I was expecting to fail. But I also failed 'principles in computing' (it was programming related, don't know if I translated it correctly). I have no idea what I did wrong on my exam.

I do know that I should have invested more time in studying that.
I spend so much time trying to keep up with 2 other courses (which I found the most difficult). (and I failed both).

Now I just don't know it anymore.

The university I wanted to go to for computer science works very different.
I got only 9 courses for the whole year and it works with trimesters instead of semesters. Each day is a different course (in engineering I had most of the time, 4 different courses a day, I couldn't keep up that tempo of change).

The classes are smaller (now 600, there 60).
So part of me says, just go for it. Do your best and you won't fail.
But another part of me is afraid to fail.

I'm not exactly known for my self-confidence. And today it took a big hit. And don't think I could handle another failure like that.
And I would waste loads of money.

I really like anything computer science related. But, I just don't know.
Even my parents tell me I could better do something else.
I really want it, but I'm afraid to fail, if that makes sense.

I'm not really ranting here so you guys can tell me what to do.
But telling my story more anonymous helps me a lot.

Have you guys ever had moments where you wanted to give up, or thought you were a failure?

Replies To: I don't know it anymore

Re: I don't know it anymore

Posted 28 June 2013 - 10:30 AM

Hey,

If you are truly serious about school, buckle down, no friends, no games, no distractions and study, study, study. Some one told me once that if you think your going to fail you will because you have already given up.

Second if you don't like/understand Engineering find what you do like and do that, just because you grew up with engineers doesn't mean you like it and it would be fun.

Re: I don't know it anymore

Posted 28 June 2013 - 10:34 AM

It certainly doesn't sound like you're doing well with the academic side of things. Frankly, with your track record, I can't see any point in just beating your head against this wall any more. It seems like a case of "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". I would suggest talking to some of your professors and your academic advisor before signing up for another go round. It may be that you can change something of what you're doing - for example, maybe you're taking too many courses at once, or maybe there's some background that you need and don't have.

No point in just bashing away at this, though, unless you change something. You'll spend a fortune to get nowhere.

Re: I don't know it anymore

Posted 28 June 2013 - 10:35 AM

Everyone has a point in their life where they think of, and experienced, failure. Failure is a lesson meant to teach you to re-evaluate your life and objectives. It will tell you if you really want something or if it is even the right thing for you to do. Maybe computer science isn't your thing. Perhaps you were meant to do it as a hobby. Who knows. Just take a step back and get truly hardcore honest with yourself on what you want to do. Saying "anything computer science related" is just not good enough. Do you like graphics? Do you like software design? Do you like networking? Do you like building PCs? These can all be very different fields.

Once you have that honest talk with yourself you need to buck up and say "Dammit, I am not going to let this happen and do my best!" If you fail, dust off and work harder. Some people have a natural gift for something and some have to work hard at it. It is just the way things are. I have been blessed to find computing easy, but if I was asked to dance... oh man would I fail a lot and have to work really hard at it.

Keep at it man, do what you love and don't let failure shake your confidence. Everyone fails. It is how you handle it that leads to success.

Re: I don't know it anymore

Posted 28 June 2013 - 10:49 AM

laytonsdad, on 28 June 2013 - 10:30 AM, said:

Hey,

If you are truly serious about school, buckle down, no friends, no games, no distractions and study, study, study. Some one told me once that if you think your going to fail you will because you have already given up.

Second if you don't like/understand Engineering find what you do like and do that, just because you grew up with engineers doesn't mean you like it and it would be fun.

If you can't do what you like, like what you do.

Thank you, what I like coursewise are algebra (which I didn't fail), and programming.

modi123_1, on 28 June 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:

Quote

Have you guys ever had moments where you wanted to give up, or thought you were a failure?

Yeah everyone has - it's called being human. We fall and learn to pick ourselves up again.

If your family and friends are trying to warn you off computer science what have been their recommendations?

There recommendations are to do: Industrial science, it's similar to engineering, but less theoretical, more practical.
But there isn't anything computer science related in that field.

jon.kiparsky, on 28 June 2013 - 10:34 AM, said:

It certainly doesn't sound like you're doing well with the academic side of things. Frankly, with your track record, I can't see any point in just beating your head against this wall any more. It seems like a case of "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". I would suggest talking to some of your professors and your academic advisor before signing up for another go round. It may be that you can change something of what you're doing - for example, maybe you're taking too many courses at once, or maybe there's some background that you need and don't have.

No point in just bashing away at this, though, unless you change something. You'll spend a fortune to get nowhere.

I think you are correct in that I am a case of "doing the same thing, over and over"
Next week, I have scheduled to talk to my professors.
I have talked to my academic advisor, she said that engineering is out of the question. I failed to much and I would be almost pointless to do it again. (or I would take 7 years to complete the 5 year study.)
She said I could do computer science, more algebra, less function-analysis. More programming, no mechanics. But it's going to be difficult.

She says that my problem most likely is that I don't really know how to study. Before university, in what would be the equivalent to high school (I'm from Europe), I had an education which existed to prepare you for engineering, and I was good at it, I didn't need to study that much. That's part of the problem.
I do have been trying to fix that.

Re: I don't know it anymore

Posted 28 June 2013 - 11:04 AM

Martyr2, on 28 June 2013 - 10:35 AM, said:

Everyone has a point in their life where they think of, and experienced, failure. Failure is a lesson meant to teach you to re-evaluate your life and objectives. It will tell you if you really want something or if it is even the right thing for you to do. Maybe computer science isn't your thing. Perhaps you were meant to do it as a hobby. Who knows. Just take a step back and get truly hardcore honest with yourself on what you want to do. Saying "anything computer science related" is just not good enough. Do you like graphics? Do you like software design? Do you like networking? Do you like building PCs? These can all be very different fields.

Once you have that honest talk with yourself you need to buck up and say "Dammit, I am not going to let this happen and do my best!" If you fail, dust off and work harder. Some people have a natural gift for something and some have to work hard at it. It is just the way things are. I have been blessed to find computing easy, but if I was asked to dance... oh man would I fail a lot and have to work really hard at it.

Keep at it man, do what you love and don't let failure shake your confidence. Everyone fails. It is how you handle it that leads to success. />

Thank you, your reply really helps.
I'm going to re-evaluate my life, look at what I want to do, what job I would like to do.

Re: I don't know it anymore

Posted 09 July 2013 - 12:49 PM

So, I'm back.

First a summary of my exam of "principles in computing":
Most of my mistakes were syntax mistakes and/or misreading the question

For example:
a program that has a list as input. And return the largest part of the list that consists of consecutive elements.
(ie list is 0,2,3,4,9,6,7, program should return 2,3,4)
I also checked the list for descending elements. But the professor only wanted ascending.
My program therefor did something extra, which made it slower/less efficient. So no points.

Or I putted a return instead of print (python), which meant no points (was a small question).

In the last question I assumed we needed to use recursion because previous exams had this as last question.
But the question didn't say we had to use recursion.
Recursion in the program made it slower and therefor less efficient.

With classes (4th question) I forgot data hiding.

Stupid mistakes basically. I should have passed it.

The question about correctness with backwards substitution was correct.
The question with the sorting algorithm was partly correct (because of syntax mistakes, i wrote skewed which caused the indentation to be poorly).

I talked to the professor, he said I could make it in computer science, if I was willing to put the work in it.
I'm changing the way I study, I learned more about time management, how to study.
I learned that I need to ask for help more often.
I really want to succeed here, and am going to do anything I can so I can succeed.

I've till the end of September before the new courses start.
I'm going to improve my programming skills.

I've gotten some assignments from my professor (which he normally gives to students of computer science, where he also teaches).
I'm making some small games (like pong, space invaders and snake) and afterwards check my textbook to see if I implemented OOP correctly).

I wish to thank everyone who took the time to write a reply.
Every reply really helped me.
Thank you.

Re: I don't know it anymore

Posted 12 July 2013 - 04:28 AM

Good work, keep at it. For what it's worth, I flunked out (i.e. got kicked out) of Computer Science twice at two different universites when I was younger, and not by a small margin either, I just had other things on my mind and a set of priorities that didn't include passing courses. I worked as a whatever for 8 years and then went back to uni and finally punched out the degree, and it was hard, and I hated the hell out of it at times, but you finish that last exam and it's pretty good! Suffice it to say that failing uni doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't more than capable of passing uni, you just have to set your eyes on the prize and go hard at it for three or four years. So just keep programming. Look up things you don't know. Have fun! Have patience!

Re: I don't know it anymore

Posted 12 July 2013 - 04:36 AM

Quote

Have you guys ever had moments where you wanted to give up, or thought you were a failure?

I call these "existential quandaries". I have one every couple of years. If you search the boards hard enough, you're sure to find a thread or two about my neuroses and asking the members here for advice on how to deal with my feelings of uselessness and frustration.

We all go through periods where we question ourselves and our choices. But ultimately, only you can decide what is best for you.

Re: I don't know it anymore

Posted 17 July 2013 - 04:38 PM

questioning ourselves and failure are what got us where we are today. Take for instance me i went through highschool under the impression that i wanted to do law because thats what everyone said i shoul be. i had never stopped to think or ask myself what i had wanted to do until i failed my final exams. All those years wasted in high school heading in the wrong direction now am going back to do the subjects and courses that are going to get me into college to do computer science. its a huge drawback of which i can not do anything about except to accept and find a way forward which i have done. now i know what i wabt to do and am getting all the help i need to get there through posts like yours and a lot of other members.
congratulations on your recent results. keep it up and you will make everyone around you very proud especially yourself most importantly.