Tuesday, January 12, 2010

1. Print out (in separate documents) and mail in: First fifty pages of the MS; first fifteen pages (depending on scene/chapter break) ; Four copies of the first five pages ; six copies of a 1-2 page synopsis.

2. Read "Writing the Breakout Novel" by Don Maass

3. Go through the manuscript and write one sentence about every scene, each on a separate note card.

4. Write a brief description of your strengths and weaknesses as a writer and your goals for the workshop.

The second semester of my Popular Fiction Class with Pam Binder started up this week, and I found it pretty cool that she was using a Maass' technique from The Fire in Fiction workshop for one of our exercises.

The discussion was an overview about the middle of the novel, and how even when nothing exciting is happening in terms of action, you still need to have tension on the page. Pam had use pull out a page from out novel and try adding tension to every line.

So you tell me. Did I add tension?

Kelder has been sent to kill her sister, Telleo. Grist is her former mentor, and has offered to kill Telleo for Kelder.

Orignal:

“I think I understand.”Kelder shook her head. “Do you? What pain did you have in your Sun life? You speak only of love lost and your happy family. At least when you left them behind you knew they would be safe.”Grist shifted behind her, his hand stilling on the top of her head. “My pain was leaving them behind. A Sun life is not an easy one, you know this. Without me, their provider, my family may have starved and died. I left my wife alone, with a newborn child. And I’ll never know.”“Better the unknown, than sent to kill them,” Kelder muttered into the furs. “Sand be praised.”“Yes.” Grist paused. “But you think killing Telleo is protecting her?”“And letting someone else kill her isn’t?” Kelder sat up, shrugging him away. She turned to give him a hard stare, too tired to hide the pain and tears in her eyes. “If I…if I can just…”Grist sighed. “The canary wouldn’t have called all this if your sister isn’t truly a soul looker. She is beyond your help.”“I know that. At least I can see that her death is merciful.”Grist’s brow creased. “Is your opinion so low of me? You think I would torture your sister if I took your task? That I do this for some pleasure?”Many Ala’der took great pleasure in maiming and giving soul lookers slow and agonizing deaths for their defilement of the Sand. But not Grist, she did know that. “I didn’t mean--”

Revision with more tension:“I think I understand.” Kelder shook her head and sneered. “Do you? What pain did you have in your Sun life? All you talk about was your happy family. At least you know they are safe.”

Grist shifted behind her, his hand stilling on the top of her head, though his fist clenched slightly, his nails tugging at her hair. “My pain was leaving them behind. A Sun life is not an easy one, you know this. I was their provider. For all I know, my family starved and died without me. I left my wife alone with our newborn child. I’ll never know the truth.”

“Better the unknown, than sent to kill them,” Kelder muttered into the furs. “Sand be praised.”

“And letting someone else kill her isn’t?” Kelder crawled to her feet. Grist tried to stop her, but she shrugged him away. She turned and gave him a hard stare, too tired to hide the pain and tears in her eyes. “If I…if I can just…”

Grist sighed, holding a hand out to her. “The canary wouldn’t have called all this if your sister isn’t truly a soul looker. She is beyond your help.”

“I know.” Kelder swallowed, staring at his extended hand, scarred and calloused from years spent killing. “At least I can see that her death is merciful.”

Grist’s brow creased, his fingers falling out of reach. “You think I would torture your sister if I took your task? That I offer this for some perverse pleasure?”

Many Ala’der took great glee in maiming soul lookers and delivering slow and agonizing deaths in return for their defilement of the Sand. But not Grist, she did know that. She’d seen him kill, many times. It was always swift and mechanical – a necessary evil to him, not a game. “I didn’t mean--”

Monday, January 4, 2010

Now that vacation and all that jazz has come and gone, time to get down to business.

PFC class is back on for semester two starting Wednesday, and I need to put together a rough draft of my synopsis for Ala'der by then. I have one done, came in just over four pages single spaced. We'll see if I can turn that number into three double spaced pages in two days. Hah!

About Me

I write for an employee magazine by day, and when I'm not making corporate propaganda more fun to read, I write fiction. I also play way too many video games, am obsessed with Riddick from the movie Pitch Black, and drink lots of Diet Coke with Lime.

PNWA

The Screaming Guppy

Why the Screaming Guppy?

Once upon a time, a circle of friends decided it would be fun to have nicknames, more specifically, animal nicknames. As names trickled in, there were those such as The Crafty Badger, The Wiley Minx, The Fox and The Party Weasel. Then, in the twists and turns of the maze of cruel humor, the last name dished out was The Screaming Guppy. Why? Because, at times, I tend to be loud when I get excited about something and they thought it would be funny to make me a feeder fish. (That and I once had a pet guppy that refused to die.) Unfortunately, the name as stuck and despite many appeals I still remain the only non-mammal in the group.