What can I do now?

Sorry in advance for the misery guts post. I'm looking for advice from people who have been in the same position as at the moment I can't see a way out and feel very bleak indeed.

I had 2 miscarriages one after the other (16 weeks then 12 weeks) after falling pregnant very easily each time. Tests on the first baby showed the placenta was twisted and other tests since then only show elevated NK cells. Everything else for myself and my husband appears to be fine. Since the last mc we have been ttc for 13 months and nothing is happening. We've tried everything from cm checking, temperature, ovulation predictor tests, lots of sex, regular sex, hardly any sex, acupuncture, chinese herbs and prednisolone (which made me ill so stopped).

I am 37 and my husband is 40 and I already have a 12 year old son with a different partner. Literally everyone around me is pregnant and today my sister just told me she is expecting on her second month trying. This has totally floored me and I can't stop crying. Feel like such a failure and feel I am to blame in some way from years of being a bit of a party girl.

I can't bear to be around all the baby talk but I can't escape it either. It's been like a slow torture the last few years and is now affecting my relationship with my husband. We're only married 18 months and, apart from a few months at the start when I was pregnant for the second time, our marriage has been about losing babies and not getting pregnant.

We can't afford IVF and I just don't know what to do next. My GP j says to keep trying but it's not happening.

I had a miscarriage before dd was conceived and it was, to be quite frank, complete shit. It Is horrid when it seems everyone around you can get knocked up but you just can't seem to get it right.

I found the miscarriage board on mumsnet was wonderful and full of lovely, lovely people who will listen to you rant and despair. Also if or when you do feel ready to TTC again there were some great post mc TTC threads that I found really supportive and are full of very knowledgeable people who might be able t help you find reasons for what has happened to you.