Weekend Watch List: They Can Also Spell W-E-D-G-I-E

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Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home this weekend and congratulate Rush Limbaugh on getting married tomorrow. And what lady wouldn’t fall for this handsome young rapscallion? Just one whiff of his cigar and the lasses come running. LET’S GO!

SCRIPPS NATIONAL SPELLING BEE – 8:00PM (ABC) People, I tell you without a trace of sarcasm that this bee is one of the best live television events of the year, every year. It DESTROYS the Oscars for pure excitement. It lays waste to the NBA Finals. You will not find a better mix of pulse-pounding moments and poorly chosen pleated khakis. And ABC throws in Erin Andrews as an interviewer, just to ratchet up the puberty factor. It’s perfect television, I tell you. I strongly encourage you to check out your favorite site’s live blog or Twitter feed of the event all evening long. No event is better suited for real-time jokemaking than this one. Watching the parents alone is like viewing an entire season of “In Treatment.” These parents will MURDER their children if they don’t go to Harvard and become doctors. It’s riveting. I wish this thing was on every week. Watch it. ANTICIPATION: F-R-O-T-H-I-N-G!

WHALE WARS – 9:00PM (Animal Planet) It’s the season premiere of this show about trying to save whales from evil poachers who have beards and kill whales simply because they don’t like them. Watch as these Ahabs get the harpoons turned on them. ANTICIPATION: LIBERAL!

2010 MTV MOVIE AWARDS –9:00PM Sunday (MTV) This show used to be cool until it became as self-serious and annoying as the MTV Video Music Awards. The strained outrageousness was also no help. Ah, but there is hope for this year. Aziz Ansari is your host, and Aziz Ansari is a comedy God. Also, Tom Cruise reprises his role from “Tropic Thunder” for a couple of mandatory in-show sketches. Could be fun. ANTICIPATION: RAAAAANDY!

KATE PLUS 8 – 9:00PM Sunday (TLC) It’s the debut episode of this series, which is just “Jon and Kate Plus 8” with the Jon hanging around. Kate Gosselin is a miserable human being. Tune in to see if her poor kids are rescued by a better, nicer mother. Like, I dunno, Ursula from “The Little Mermaid.” Anyone is an improvement, really. ANTICIPATION: SAD!

DROP DEAD DIVA – 10:00PM Sunday (Lifetime) It’s the season premiere of this Lifetime show about a gorgeous woman reincarnated as plus-sized lady. Many a Lane Bryant ad will be shown throughout. ANTICIPATION: HEAVY… WITH LAUGHS!