My world is crashing down... please help.

I've just had a message on FB from an aqquantance. She's saying that my DP has a conviction for sexually assaulting a child in 95/96. This would have been when DP was 17/18. I don't know what to think.. what to do.

I have a DS and a DD - not my DP's, and am heavily pregnant by DP.

We went to a wedding a few weeks ago, and i bumped into this woman, and introduced DP to her, little knowing that they already knew each other - she lived with his mother for a few years when younger until his mother discovered her in bed with her (the mothers) boyfriend. Since then, they have had no contact.

I don't know why this woman is saying this, i trust my DP implicitly, or i thought i did. We don't live together, but i have never ever had any doubts about him being around my children. We went to school together, and i've known him for years, and i don't remember anything like this coming to light, that said, i did move away for a year or so around the time it alledgedly happened.

So i know i need to ask him about it. I'm going to be seeing him later today. I need to know the truth. But what do i do if it is true? What if i am having a baby with a peadophile??

I wouldn't jump in feet first either as he may well like others have said have had a teenage relationship.Could you approach any of his family/friends who you really trust and confide in them?I am so sorry for you this sounds horrendous and could just be some meddling lodger from the past or something more serious.

According to the woman who sent this message to me on FB his mum had to be rehoused to where she's currently living because of it. I don't know what to do. I don;t know wether to ask him on his own or speak to him in front of his mum, who would know about it if it were true.

I don't intend to go in all guns blazing or anything... but i do need to know the truth. Would it be helpful to show him the FB message she sent me, do you think?

He's been fine since we met her. However, the night we met her he did seem a little shocked, but i didn't really think anything of it, just put it down to a blast from the past. And when he told his mum, she positively bristled at the mention of her name.

I honestly don't know. The night we met her, she was really chatty, laughing and joking with us both - i hadn't an inkling at all that there was anything between them, until she said, 'oh i recognise you, blah de blah, tell your mum i was asking after her'

This really is an awful situation for you. I would initially go to the police station and ask. They probably won't be able to tell you there and then, but should be able to get the right department, right person etc and pass on your details to call you back.

might it be worth you asking some subtle questions of your own children too about his behaviour around them?

I would ask him. If my husband got an allegation about me from someone I would like to think he would ask me first rather than going to the police etc about it. There is a child protection issue though so if he denies it I do think that you have to show him the facebook entry and say you can't settle until you have checked it with the police. It might be a lie, although if this person was allowed on your facebook I presume you trust her. It might be a 17 year old with a 14 or 15 year old. It may be something more worrying though. I would ask him first and consider asking the police afterwards. If he has nothing to hide then he should be happy for you to get this cleared up rather than have underlying suspicions.

I've just spoken to a lovely lady at a local police station and whilst she obviously said they wouldn't be able to tell me anything over the phone, she said if i called in and spoke to an officer they would be able to advise me. She said they probably wouldn't be able to disclose any information, but at least they might be able to put my mind at rest.

My DS starts school this afternoon, so i'm going to have to wait until he goes in to go the the police station.

I don't know wether to speak to my partner first or go to the police first.

So let me get this straight. She was caught shagging your partners mums boyfriend and kicked out of the home they shared.

Years later you both bump into her and she tells your partner to "tell your mum I was asking after her..." Your partner understandably visibly looks uncomfortable.

She then messages you on Facebook to tell you that your dp is a paedophile and his mum had to be rehoused.

If she is an acquaintance then surely if she was genuinely concerned that there may be an issue she would have said something sooner. After all, I'm assuming that she has been on your facedbook for a while?

My dp's ex married a man who has a conviction for sexual assualt with a child. He had sex with two under age girls when he was in his late teens. ( I don't know the full details, nor do I want to.)He is on the sex offenders register and it is well known in the are that they live because generally things like that have a way of becoming public/local knowledge.

I would be very surprised if this is true simply because you seem so shocked, if you are all in roughly the same area and have roughly the same circle of friends I would have thought that you would have heard a rumour at some point.Also, this acquaintance sounds like she has an axe to grind.