Great Gryffindor's gimpy goat warts! Another masterful chapter by the Chagall of cliffhangers himself! Wasn't expecting an update so soon -- you don't give a guy a break, Eldy mate! The lady was overjoyed and I ended up back at my chiropractor's office(still worth it and still smiling)!

I loved the banter between Harry and Ron! It was a real pip and twice as funny! Sounds like Zacharias Smith, the Viscount of Vascillation, sang for Harry like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir! Also sounds like Ginny cut Harry some slack later on -- lucky boy that Potter!

I also wasn't surprised to see my least favorite dungeater, Up Yours Yaxley, resurface for some more merry mayhem -- with "the wand"! That man is more annoying than a bad case of jockitch during a Quiddich match!

Looks like Harry and Ron are going to get busier than Mundungus Fletcher at a flea market! Two big thumbs up to Molly for her foresight in leaving the emergency port key to St. Mungos on the kitchen counter. She knows her boys, and nobody will ever accuse her of being AWOL when the brains were handed out! I'll be watching for your next update from the reviewing stand!

Great wizarding advice #8: It will do you no good to offer a breath mint to an acromantula after insulting it about it's bad breath. If it's that close to you, it's probably too late for the mint!

P.S. Okay maybe not naked Quiddich! But Hey, since there really is a ladies lingerie football league, why not a ladies lingerie quiddich league?! ;)

Author's Response: Mate, I'm starting to run out of ways to respond to your reviews. ROFL.

Thanks again and I'm glad you and your lady enjoyed the chapter.

The next, and last should post next weekend and I look forward to hearing from you.

P.S. Mundungus Fletcher at a Flea Market? Where do you come up with this stuff?? LOL! Naked Quidditch, now there's an idea. BTW, thanks for the advice about Acro's and mints...still laughing!

Hey this is RonMioneOnly from the other Fanfiction site. I like this story too. I've written some on this site, but it's not enough readers, so I gave up on here and decided to do it on the other fanfic that I am found your story on. It's a lot more popular there.

Author's Response: Great Galloping Ghosts!!

Thanks for the review. I'm really glad you like my stuff. And I'm glad you found a home for your stories.

It's really important that those of us who've caught the addiction for fanfiction have a support group! LOL!

Thanks again and I hope to hear from you soon.

Eldy

P.S. I really do appreciate your vigillance. It's important that we look out for each other out here. Plagarism is not cool!

Eldy: You magnificent pagan god! This story moves so well and you got the characters and their speech and mannerisms right on target. This was short but so sweet. Love the H/G, R/H interaction. It's your story but with a touch of JKR in there. What's really great is that you can still feel the drama from the Battle of the Pitch reaching over into this story.

Love the title, Reckless Git and Danger Ponce. Got a laugh out loud when I read that. As usual, Well Done. PW 10/10

Author's Response: PW! Welcome back.

This story started with the title. Ever since I branded H/R with the monikers "Reckless Git and Danger Ponce" I just knew I had to write a story with that in the title. I knew it had to have a buddy-cop feel. I knew it would be more comedy than drama/action. I knew our heroes had to get themselves into one heck of a mess. Other than that, I didn't know what was gonna happen until I started writing it. Then everything just kind of fell into place, with the Battle of the Pitch still in the background, making the witches a little over protective and their wizards a little more desperate to bring the war to an end.

Thanks again, mate. Its always a pleasure to hear from you. More's on the way, just not sure when it'll get written. Soon, tho, I hope.

Bravo on yet another completed masterpiece by the Wagner of words himself(I wonder if Valkyries are considered magical creatures?)!!! This chapter couldn't have tickled my funnybone more if you'd been using a hippogriff feather! I'm writing this alittle more than an hour after the lady and I read the finale! I must admit I have alot less energy than I did earlier but at least I'm smiling! (I have to say Eldy, that when it comes to aphrodisiacs, a plate of oysters has nothing on your stories!) On with the show! The banter between Ron and Harry during the battle and the aftermath is priceless-- absolute genius! Only Harry and Ron would play wizard chess during a stakeout -- and I don't remember seeing a chess set on the list of standard Auror field equipment! The ensuing action is a perfect example of Murphy's law - whatever can go wrong will go wrong!! Anyone reading the debriefing report of this action would have to think that Harry had to be one broom short of a Quidditch match to take out the building supports while still in the building! But you can't argue with success--or in this case just plain dumb luck! You would have gotten better odds betting on Fenrir Greyback to make the cover of GQ magazine then Git and Ponce surviving the collapse! I hated to see head deathgulper Yaxley escape yet again! I expect we'll see his ugly kisser again down the line--I swear that man is about as persistant as the smell from a bucket full of dragon dung! And no one can ever say Harry and Ron don't lead charmed lives after escaping the wrath of a furious Ginny and Hermoine, not to mention some extra spell damage! When the guys woke up at St. Mungo's, I'm sure the sight of their angry girlfriends glaring at them was more horrifying than seeing Peter Pettigrew at the beach wearing nothing but a speedo(which for me would induce an instantaneous self-obliviation)! Judging from the reaction of our favorite fiesty redhead and brainy brunette to their latest caper, if Harry and Ron think that they are out of the doghouse with these two ladies then I'm an owl treat!
Thanks for another magnificent ride on your pen, Eldy! Always a pleasure to partake of your awesome talent and an honor to be on your reviewing stand! I'll be watching and waiting for the next adventure with you! And so, until next time, in the immortal words of Albus Dumbledore, Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! :):):)

Author's Response: Just never know what to say to your reviews anymore mate. They always leave me chuckling. Thanks for yet another stellar review. And glad I was able to give you and the lady friend an...enjoyable afternoon.

Yep, the boys had nothin' to throw at the Death Eaters in this one, but, as Cool Hand Luke was fond of saying: "Sometimes nothing is a pretty cool hand."

And, unfortunately, Yaxley lives to fight another day, at least until the Battle of Diagon Alley.

So, did the boys escape the wrath of the girls? Believe it or not, this time they did. But keep in mind, the girls do get the last laugh in the Proposal.

Once again, great to hear from you. Give me a couple of weeks and I'll be back at it.

Look at me, getting over here to review without even having to be yelled at. I'm growing as a person, I really am.

Harry and Ron are so funny. I loved what Ron said when they were like coming face to face with the Death Eaters and such. It's not 12+ so I shall not repeat it, but heh. I laughed at that one. Ron in general was great in this chapter. His sarcasm amuses me to no end. And the parts where he was acting like Hermione a bit. Teehee. :D

I also love the way they act with Ginny and Hermione. It's perfect Eldy-ness. They're always so sheepish and they act like little kids who got caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar or whatever it is kids do that gets them in trouble. But then they turn around and wink at each other. That is Eldy personified.

Great work! :D

Author's Response: Hey EJ!

Now when would I ever yell at you for not reviewing? hehehehe

The Ron/Harry dynamic wasn't somthing I have really run with since the first chapter of the Proposal, so I wanted to delve into it again. If I don't empty it out of my head regularly, I'll explode. LOL!

As always, it was great. What I really like about your writing is that you combine action, humor, and drama so amazingly. Even when they're in dangerous situations, there's something to laugh about. Like Ron being dashing. And this Bryce person, who I was laughing at the entire time because he was so ridiculous.

I meant to grab quotes but that would involve going to find them. And there were a lot. Suffice to say, I really liked this chapter. And I will never get over how funny it is that they call them Reckless Git and Danger Ponce. Too awesome.

Author's Response: Hey, she's back!

Dashing Ron. Hmmm, maybe that's a story all its own. LOL! Glad you like the mix; I always have a good time trying to get it right.

Bryce is a bloke I think we'll be seeing more of. he showed up in the Proposal and I liked him, so I think he's got a future.

EJ, its always a pleasure to get a great review like this from you. Thanks!

Random note to start things off: how do you keep all of your stories so organized/in order? I am so impressed by your organization. If it were me, I'd be like "uhh... I think this one happens first? Or maybe second? Uhh."

Anyway. I really liked this chapter. Your dialogue is so awesome. It's always so fun and witty and character-realistic. It makes it all the more better to read. Especially this: "You two do know that it's me and 'Mione that are supposed to be arguing like this? Did you lose the script or something?" Heheheh. Ron and Hermione are so funny.

I FEEL LIKE I HAD SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY BUT I DON'T REMEMBER IT. o_O

Author's Response: How do I keep this stuff in order? Oh, you'll get a kick out of this.

I don't.

Remember, I wrote all of these tales out of order. Crusade, which is last in the series, I wrote first. Best Laid Plans, which is fourth, was written second. The Proposal, which is fifth, was written third. Battle of the Pitch, which is second in the series was written fourth. The Adventures of Reckles Git and Danger Ponce, which is third in the series, was written fifth and Hermione's wand, which is the first story chronologically, was written last.

Confused? LOL!

Basically, I've been using Crusade (and most recently Pitch) as inspiration to "back and fill." I find comments or backstory in it and flesh it out from there. There really was no all encompassing plan - it's really more like playing jazz. You take a note or melody and expound on it.

In short - its chaos theory taken to the absolute elderwand extreme. No organization whatsoever.

I love the line you singaled out! That's my favorite in this chapter. That really makes my day you liked it enough to include in the review. Thanks!

And, in true EJ fashion, you end on such a great note with this review. That got me laughing!

Again, its a real pleasure to hear from you. And what's that in my inbox? More Snogging Sarah Simpson for me to beta? How cool is that!

As always, your writing rocks my world, Eldy. As you know, I'm not a big fan of reading trio-centric stuff, but as you also know (or you should know) I make an exception for you because your trio stuff is awesome. I like to think of myself as a bit of a snob when it comes to reading trio stuff, because I really only read yours. :P

Anyway, this was really great. It was a lovely little moment between Molly and Hermione. I love stuff like that. And it seems very realistic for Hermione to be having nightmares about Bellatrix. I would, too. That lady be all sorts of cray cray.

:D

Author's Response: EJ!

Well, this must be a sign of the apocalypse if I've got you reading trio fic. ;) Kidding aside, I'm really flattered that you make an exception for my stuff. that means a lot. Thanks so much for stopping by!

I've only ever written one other "all female" scene before. Its always a bit of a challenge for me, being a bloke and all. I'm really glad you liked it.

It seemed to me that, while Ron would be the one she would lean on in a situation like this, maybe it was a mother's touch that would really be needed to comfort her here.

Bella, cray cray? Oh yeah. Big time. She has to be about the best villain in the novels, even rivalling baldyshorts on occasion. Yikes!!

Here I am back on the reviewing stand after another brilliant chapter from the Picasso of the Pen himself! Eldy mate, this chapter was absolutey hillarious! The lady laughed so hard she ended up crying on my shoulder(which means I'm writing this with a damp shirt-bugger!) and I laughed so hard I almost stopped breathing. Fortunately, she revived me with some well-timed and rather enthusiastic mouth-to-mouth resuscitation(and yes, I have a big smile on my face).

It's great to see our boys managed to survive their gals' wrath - it is quite obvious from the nicknames the girls hung on them that they both got read the riot act and are on some serious probabion(I thought "probation" sounded alot more tactful than "stupidity watch")! And after their latest stunt, you'd almost swear they'd been imbibing in dingbat seed oil! Getting Ginny and or Hermione mad at you makes about as much sense as the wizard who opened a Mexican restaurant in Diagon Alley and named it Hong Lee's Bistro(incidently, don't try the yak meat burritos)! If I was Harry or Ron, I'd have run up the white flag long ago!

Really loved the bit about Ron & Hermoine in the society page - although that seems about as likely as Argus Filtch being named one the world's 20 most eligible bachelors! And what in the name of two dozen grumpy green goblins made you think of Dung and Peeves?! The only thought more disqusting than that is the image of Delores Umbridge modeling a pink negligee(which would undoubtedly leave you begging for a nice long snog with a dementor)!

So, Dolohov and Yaxley, the Laurel and Hardy of mayhem, have teamed up to lead the Deathgulpers in another round of merry mischief,eh? Those two are slimier than mountain troll snot! Can't wait to see how this little jewel of a tale unfolds! Another nice little cliffy too! Your cliffys often remind me of those old 60s episodes of Batman where part 1 always ended up with Batman and or Robin about to die in some goofy contraption thought up by whoever the villian-du-jour was! Always a never-ending thrill ride with you, great one!
As a special treat, I leave you with two more entries from the annuals of great wizarding advice:

4th on the list: When you corner deathereaters in a building and suddenly find yourself outnumbered, it is not an acceptable tactical procedure to collapse the building while you're still standing in it! (Note: The Official Auror Field Operations Manual now refers to this as the "Git/Ponce Law of Lousy Odds".)

5th on the list: When negotiating with werewolves, it does not promote proper detente to present them with a peace offering of assorted hair-care products!

Gotta go, the lady is about to drag me into the bedroom because she wants me to change out of my damp shirt(wink wink)! See you next time, Eldy!

Author's Response: Aurorofthelight strikes again!

Hey mate, I'm laughing too hard to write this (well, I was before I started writing. You get the idea.)

Really glad you're enjoying Reckless Git and Danger Ponce - This is a story that's been kicking around in my diseased mind for quite a while. It feels good to finally get it out of my head and let it be free.

Yep, ever since the Battle of the Pitch the girls having been keeping their guys on a short leash (and vice versa) so everyone's got a little cabin fever - it happens even in the best relationships. hopefully, by the end of this tale, their relationships will have grown enough so that they can give each other some space (well, obviously they do since this story takes place before "Crusade")

Dung and Peeves? Well, it just seemed too random not to include ;)

Hong Lee's Mexican restaurant? Where do you come up with this stuff? LOL! You really need to start writing fic, my friend. You've definitely got the knack.

Now, this slayed me:

4th on the list: When you corner deathereaters in a building and suddenly find yourself outnumbered, it is not an acceptable tactical procedure to collapse the building while you're still standing in it! (Note: The Official Auror Field Operations Manual now refers to this as the "Git/Ponce Law of Lousy Odds".)

Priceless! I may ask to borrow this for a joke in one of my next stories.

Incidentally, you are gonna LOVE the last chapter. (at least I hope so) I finished writing it last night, still polishing it, but it should post within the next 10 days or so, if not sooner.

um...i think you should wait and post all "three" parts at the same time. or it just might be i hate waiting to complete a story. it sounds very interesting though : )

also, were is "The Gift" story??? i did'nt see it under your name...

Author's Response: Hello Michelle! and welcome.

Yep. I hate waiting after a cliffy too. Rest assured, I'm nearly done with part 2 of Reckless git and danger ponce. It'll post this weekend.

The Gift. Arg! I forgot to clarify where to find it. The Gift is chapter 30 of "The Final Battle" which is a site-wide Collaboration. The Final Battle is story number 24 in my favorites.

If you leave a review, keep in mind I can't respond to it, but rest assured I'll read it and greatly appreciate it. Responding to a review in a collab is, well, complicated, because I don't have access to the author's control page.

Marvelous! Absolutely Superb! The lady and I laughed so hard at this chapter I tore a seam in my boxers and she popped a bra strap! (brief pause for a big silly grin from me :})
Our boys are aptly named Reckless Git & Danger Ponce just for the shear stupidity of getting Ginny & Hermoine ticked off at them! Those ladies are downright scary when the get angry! I felt sorry for the guys having to explain themselves to the girls. They'd have stood a better chance of success trying to sell girl scout cookies to a pack of werewolves! Ive been looking forward to when you'd bring back that yoyo Yaxley and his merry band of bumbling deathgnoshers! They are about as welcome as bad case of heat rash on your bum! And about as persistantly annoying as a flock of gnats at your picnic! And as usual, the Paganini of Prose left us with another great cliffy to gnaw on til the next chapter! Can't wait til the next round, O great one! :):):)

Author's Response: Aurorofthelight strikes again! Hey mate!

Once more you've got me laughing while my head swells with all the praise. thanks!

yep, time to get back to the Guerilla War story line and that git Yaxley. However, the tone of this tale, as you've already guessed, will be more humorous, like Proposal, than serious, like Pitch.

As will be made clear in the next chapter, they assured their ladies that this operation would be "low key." that pretty much went out the window when Reckless Git and Danger Ponce destroyed a building and wound up at Hogwarts hospital wing (it was closer than shipping them off to St. Mungos).

All hail the return of the great Eldy! The Toscanini of the tantalizing tale! The Sharkespeare of the short story! Great to see some new stuff from you O masterful one! I am as excited as Hermoine Weasley at a Hogwarts book sale! And so is my lady--which means I'm really, really smiling large again! I owe you yet another one, Eldy! ;) Really loved this story - great plot idea that I've not seen anyone address til now! It makes perfect sense that Hermoine might have psych issues with Bella's wand and they might cause nightmares! Mione should have known she couldn't put one over on ol Molly tho - that woman is more onery than a bull separated from a pasture full of heifers!. In fact, in the annuls of great wizarding advice, I think "don't mess with Molly Weasly" is probably a close second to "don't mess with Ginny Weasley Potter"! A close 3rd would be "don't try to perform dental hygiene on a dragon"! Your loyal subjects like me are overjoyed by your return to the world of written wit, Sire! I think this is a worthy of cracking open that bottle of Ogden's firewhiskey I've been saving for a special occasion!

Author's Response: Aurorofthelight!

I was wondering when you'd show up. Great to hear from you! and, as usual, you've put a big sloppy grin on my face. I can feel my already oversized ego growing ten-fold with this amazing review. Thanks mate!

"Don't mess with Molly Weasley." There is no sounder advice. Matter of fact, I'm contemplating a one shot for this compilation that underscores just that - Molly takes her grandkids to Diagon alley and some DE's have the misfortune of crossing her path...I think it'll be fun - but not for the DE's.

Yep, can't get nothin' by Molly. And I always thought my letting Hermione keep Bella's wand needed more explanation than I'd given it in Crusade and Pitch. This collection of tales seemed like the best place to do it. Lots of holes I'd like to fill in the Crusadiverse. Addressing Hermione's Wand just seemed like the best way to open, according to my muse.

Glad to hear you and your lady friend are still together - give her my best.

Again, really fabulous hearing from you. More will be coming soon. Promise!

I've missed your writing. I really have. It's just entertaining. Whenever I read your work, I always sit there and I don't focus on anything else and I don't want it to end. I may also, on ocassion, forget to breathe. If I ever hyperventilate while reading your work, it is entirely your fault, Eldy! :P

I love that you're doing some outtakes or one-shots or whatever you want to call them for the Crusadiverse! When you said you were writing again, all I was hoping was that you wouldn't have a long and drawn out conversation with one of the characters and Death (I still remember reading about poor Harry!) and I honestly had no idea what I would be reading. Maybe another war, the apocaylpse, maybe all the four quit the wizarding world and decided to open an aquarium - I can never tell with you. But this is so unexpected but so welcome! I have a feeling that the one-shots are going to add some insight into the Crusadiverse (I can't believe you have labelled your own universe! And it has a capital letter!) and I, for one, can't wait!

I'm also going to have to go back and read your other stories once again. The only problem is that I won't be able to leave a typical "I WORSHIP YOU ELDY" review on them since I have already reviewed them. Sigh. Still, they'll make for good reading!

Anyway. Back to this story...

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. When I read the beginning, I was shocked. I mean, I was completely drawn in but I was thinking, "Whoa. He didn't give us any warning before he dove in, did he?" And just when I'm sitting there, reading about the insane Bellatrix, Hermione wakes up.

And I didn't even have time to get annoyed with you (I normally hate "and then she woke up" lines but I didn't mind it all this time!) before my heart broke for Hermione. Poor thing!

The helpless romantic in me really wanted Ron to be there, but I'm glad that she had Molly there for her. Molly is this... she is like the mum that everyone wants. And you write her so well. Loving, warm and very good at giving advice. When she talks about how the wand is Hermione's and noone elses, I was just sitting there thinking, "I wish I could write like that!"

You have a way with words. And I think your strength is dialogue. Don't get me wrong, everything you write is absolutely brilliant, but it's always the dialogue and the amazing characterisation you do that is really special.

So, in case you missed it, I absolutely adored this... Ha. And I want more! I don't know what else you have in stores for us, but I can't wait!

Joop.

Author's Response: Joop!

First let me tell you how thrilled I am that you're the first review for this series of tales. Considering how much I love you're writing, this is a real treat. Flattered!!

Aquarium shopkeepers? Hmmm, now there's a thought. LOL! Pleased you think I'm so unpredictable! But I promise no kibitzing with Death...at least for a while.

I've written VERY few all-female scenes. Its a stretch for me, being a bloke and all. ;) But I was more than a little worried that I wouldn't get these characterizations right; it was vitally important that this tale pull at the heartstrings. I'm really flattered you think it works. It took some doing. Thanks again!

Yep. Ron being there would've been "stock" Eldy. But the vision I got of this was that it was just Molly and Hermione at the Burrow. In Battle of the Pitch, I mention that Hermione's worst nightmare is the one that starts this chapter and that Ron "spent hours comforting a sobbing Hermione" when she had this dream. But, it occurred to me that, on one of those nights, if Ron was gone, what would happen? Then everything fell into place and I finally had a justificiation for Hermione keeping Bella's wand. Amazing how this stuff works out, ain't it?

So, what's next? Well, I think its time to finally write a short story called "The Adventures of Reckless Git and Danger Ponce." Should be a three chapter short story included in this compilation. I'll get back to my roots of the "buddy cop" relationship between Harry and Ron. I haven't started writing it yet, but I've got some clear images - it'll take place about a month after the Battle of the Pitch.

Also, I thought it might be fun if we got to see Molly go postal on some renegade Death Eaters that managed to cross her path when she went shopping in Diagon alley with her grandkids. that might be fun! (but not for the DE's!)

I do have a novel on tap, or at least the plot bunny for one. It will be the last Crusadiverse tale, taking place when the Quartet are Grandparents. Nothing more can I say.

Joop, again, I can't tell you how pleased I am to get such a great review. And to get it from you? Well, that just makes it ten times better.

thanks!

Eldy

P.S. Don't asphixiate while reading this! LOL. maybe I should put up a warning?