The Pine Valley Bulletin

Welcome to Pine Valley's only online newspaper!

Established 1998

November 9, 1998

I got a TON of mail this past week! Thanks to everyone who wrote asking
me my theory on Kit's rapist. I had over 300 to answer and I'm close to
finishing, so if you do not get a reply by Tuesday (11/10) then your email
address was invalid or bounced back to me. There were numerous AOL addresses
that had mail blocks on them, and a few others that bounced. Please feel
free to write to me again if I didn't answer you, and make sure your mail
block is off, or that your email address is valid. And if that wasn't enough,
I got a bunch of mail from folks talking about how sickly thin Kelly Ripa
is looking. I've talked about her looking anorexic before but even I didn't
realize the severity of this situation until I saw her on Thursday's show.
She had on yet another spaghetti strapped little dress with a little sweater
over it. The difference this time was that it was lower cut and her cleavage
looked like all ribs. How did the wardrobe people not see this?? This looks
like a bad situation to me, especially when you think in terms of the camera
ADDING 10 pounds. What must she be looking like in person? Everytime Mateo
touched Hayley this week, I thought she might just break. She looks frail!
I remember seeing her last year at Super Soap Weekend. That was five months
after their son was born and she looked fabulous! She had curves then, and
was still thin. Kelly, if you read this, you're fans are worried about you!

On to the show... it's Halloween on AMC and why the heck isn't Edmund
with his children instead of running around worried about Kit? Instead Sam
and Maddie had to bob for apples with their Uncle Mateo. Oh how I wished
someone would have held Mateo's head under the water! And then, while I'm
still on Mateo's case, a child comes to the door to trick or treat with
no supervision. Wildwind is in the middle of nowhere. At least Hayley asked
where his Mommy was, even though he didn't answer. And then, what does Mateo
do? First he asks the kid if he's a catcher or centerfielder when the kid
is clearly wearing a catcher's mask! Then he proceeds to keep the kid there
for 20 minutes giving him batting practice, never once asking how he got
there, or seeing that he leave safely. The whole thing was incredibly annoying.
Not to mention it taking this long for Trevor to figure out that since they
were underage when they got married, the marriage may not even be valid.
Shouldn't that have been the first thing he checked into? And why so much
lovey dovey crap with Mateo and Hayley this week? Can we give it a rest
huh? He gets all romantic and gives Hayley a huge rock and asks her to marry
him. Where'd he get the dough for such a piece of jewelry? But an even bigger
question I have this week is why oh why were we subjected to not one, but
two love scenes involving Mateo this week! ACK!!!!

So long Allie, don't let the door to Pine Valley hit you on the butt
on the way out. As Allie and Adam are finalizing her deal, Liza shows up
and immediately spouts off a great line, "Well if it isn't Daddy Warbucks
and Little Orphan Allie." Liza is plenty confused as to why Adam is
helping Allie. So once Allie leaves, she and Adam have a little chat. Adam
explains that Allie was always looking to hurt Liza and he didn't like it,
so he wanted to get rid of her. As he goes on and on about how much he loves
her baby, even though it's not his, and how he wants to get back to a trusting
relationship he lies and lies and lies to her about why he is really helping
Allie. He lies very well though, and tells only enough of them to make his
story convincing. Liza's one smart cookie though and she doesn't buy it
completely. Once David arrives to make things even more complicated, she
blows him off when he offers to help her find out what is really going on.
Too bad too, because I think David will find out long before Liza does.

I can't believe I still feel sorry for Gilly, but I do. She brought
her misery on herself though. You don't just go fooling around with other
men then think that some lame explanation of being hurt because your husband
doesn't love you will make it all better. As much of a jerk as Ryan can
be to her, he still never fooled around behind her back like she did and
she's the one who knew she loved him. It would make more sense for him,
not being in love with her (or at least not realizing it) to be the one
who fooled around. But alas, it was Gillian who made the big mistake and
slept with David. And I feel sorry for Ryan too, and especially after seeing
him crying in the shower. A sexy guy like him, and he cries too! Wow, where
do I find me one of those (no offense Mr. Diva). He finally opens his heart
to love and immediately it gets pummeled. This is exactly what he was afraid
of and why he tried to deny his love for Gillian. Once he leaves Gillian
with David, David then chooses that moment to lock the door. Brilliant move
doc, too little too late. Gillian is devastated and David is so amused by
it all. He's so cold, he could care less that Ryan and Gillian are both
a wreck over all this. All he can think of is his reputation. Enter Allie
who has a few choice words for them both and then ta da! She's gone gone
gone!!!! Good riddance. But back at Wildwind, Gillian is even more devastated
when Grandmama tells her why Ryan went to look for her in the first place.
She begs Ryan on hands and knees to take her back, and frankly it was pretty
embarrassing to witness. Get a grip Gilly, begging does not become you.
So, will she be able to get Ryan back? Only time will tell.

In the bar, Kit is getting drunker by the minute and pushing away
the only friend she has, Edmund. I was pretty ticked when she told him to
"go home and mourn his dead wife." That was totally uncalled for,
but like the gentleman he is, Edmund took her keys and told her to come
get them when she was sober. Kit answers that by buying another drink, one
for her and one for Ryan, who she spots at the bar. These two get a flirtation
going and before you know it, they are practically having sex on the dance
floor. It's pretty disgusting and the whole bar is watching them. Somehow,
through her drunkenness, Kit remembers Edmund saying "Christine is
better than this," and starts to back off. Ryan is pretty toasted at
this point too and isn't taking to kindly to her rejection. Especially after
she said she'd take him back to her room at the Valley Inn. Ryan even gets
a little delusional and talks to her like she's Gillian. But things really
start to look bad for Ryan when he slams her up against the bar, and then
he takes that wolf mask with him when he leaves.

Meanwhile Edmund is having a talk with Dimitri. More great brother
stuff. Dimitri gets Edmund to admit that he does have feelings for Kit,
that she's more than just a story. So, feeling guilty that he left Kit in
the bar he goes back to get her. When he finds her, she's catatonic, doing
some weird eyeball thing that she kept doing all week. Edmund doesn't realize
that Kit has been raped, but he knows something is wrong with her so he
rushes her to the hospital. Once there he runs into none other than Dr.
Jake! And Dr. Jake knows just by looking at Kit that she's been raped. He
amazes me more and more with each passing week. Wasn't he able to diagnose
anorexia by looking at Bianca? Why doesn't he diagnose Hayley? What I didn't
get is why Jake didn't leave the examining room once the woman doctor came
in with the rape kit. He should have left. Anywho, Edmund decides to call
Jack and tell him that there has been a rape and he needs to come to the
hospital. How Jack didn't figure out who it was considering Eddie was the
one who called him is beyond me. But Jack is too busy giving Erica the permanent
dumpola while they look at her dream house... Linden without the furniture.
I had to give Jack a big "GO JACK!!" when he told Erica to focus
on Bianca and not him anymore because it was a lost cause.

Back at the hospital, Jack arrives and Edmund tells him to go see
who it was that was raped. Jack is so stunned to see that it's Kit that
he asks Jake, the only doctor available in all of Pine Valley hospital,
to run a DNA test on him. No one can seem to get through to Kit, so Eddie
calls Brooke. Turns out she's the spokeswoman for the rape crisis center.
I believe when Julia was raped a few years ago, that person was Aunt Grace.
Then something confusing happens. Edmund confronts Jack by asking him what
he's doing there, and he's sorry that Kit is in violation of the restraining
order. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie... you called Jack. Then the two get into a little
bit of the blame game. Eddie blames Jack for refusing to take the DNA test
and getting the restraining order. These are the things that got Kit so
upset that she went to that bar in the first place. Then Jack blames Eddie
for actually leaving Kit at the bar. To both of them I say, get over it!
It's not about either of you!

How adorable were Stuart and Marian this week!? I just loved the costumes!
And I still love the tension between Adam and Marian. They had a great exchange
this week and Adam gave us this weeks LINE OF THE
WEEK when he said to her, "Maid Marian huh? Kind of an oxymoron
isn't it?" What a hoot! Suddenly Junior is home from trick or treating
in some costume that I could not for the life of me figure out. But he came
up with this fab idea of playing pass the orange. That was so funny watching
Junior, Stuart, Marian, Liza and Adam all play this game. And I loved how
Stuart asked Liza if he could marry her mother and she was so happy that
she cried. It was such a wonderful scene. But not as wonderful as Stuart
proposing. The only part that I found a little odd was how he said that
when Cindy died his heart shrunk five sizes. I've never found Stuart to
be anything like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas so this analogy was rather
odd. At any rate though, Stuart was so incredibly romantic when he asked
Marian to marry him, and she was shocked! It was all so wonderful and when
Marian said yes, you bet I was bawling! Stuart and Marian are this weeks
PERFORMERS OF THE WEEK.

Braeden finally finds Dixie passed out on his floor after what seems
like well over a week. And what does the dufus say when he sees her lying
unconscious? "Dixie, are you alright?" Big duh big guy. She's
passed out, of course she's not alright! But while this is going on, Opal
had called Tad over to Cortlandt Manor in the middle of the night after
she "felt" she heard Dixie crying out for help. Tad is none too
pleased to have run all the way over there only to hear this strange tale
from Opal. He's not buying it in the least and when he gives Opal some attitude,
Adrian walks in and tells Tad that that is no way to treat his mother. Once
again, these two start fighting like brothers. Gee AMC, make it a little
more obvious why don't you? Palmer appears to find out what all the bickering
is about and suddenly the phone rings. Sheesh, there sure is a lot of activity
in Pine Valley in the middle of the night. And who's on the phone but Pine
Valley's answer to Clint Eastwood, minus the acting ability. Seems Braeden
wants to parlay his finding Dixie into a cushy job with Cortlandt Electronics.
I about died when Braeden told Opal to tell Palmer he has his "merchandise."
Yes, Palmer does treat Dixie like he owns her doesn't he? This week it's
Palmer who gets the I NEED TO BE SLAPPED award
for keeping Dixie's illness from everyone. Wait until Opal finds out that
he did that. I see divorce for these two! In the meantime, I'd like to see
brothers Tad and Adrian team up to find her.

Some personal news... I'll be at Super Soap Weekend next week so if
you want to meet me, I'd be happy to try and work something out! Please
email me and let's meet!! Also, this is my last Scoop with the AMC Pages.
To all my fans, thanks for being with me for the 3 years I've been with
the Pages. It's been great, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate you
all. The support you've shown me through the years has been incredible.
Don't worry though, you'll be hearing from me real soon!