'Well-being, wisdom, wonder' Huffington's message

Jarret Liotta

Published 4:55 pm, Friday, April 25, 2014

Arianna Huffington, the founder and editor in chief of the Huffington Post, was the guest speaker at the Center for HOPE's annual fundraising luncheon Wednesday, April 23, at the Woodway Country Club in Darien.
Jarret Liotta/For the Darien News
Photo: Contributed

Arianna Huffington, the founder and editor in chief of the...

Arianna Huffington, the founder and editor in chief of the Huffington Post, was the guest speaker at the Center for HOPE's annual fundraising luncheon Wednesday, April 23, at the Woodway Country Club in Darien.
Jarret Liotta/For the Darien News
Photo: Contributed

Arianna Huffington, the founder and editor in chief of the...

Arianna Huffington, the founder and editor in chief of the Huffington Post, was the guest speaker at the Center for HOPE's annual fundraising luncheon Wednesday, April 23, at the Woodway Country Club in Darien.
Jarret Liotta/For the Darien News
Photo: Contributed

Arianna Huffington, the founder and editor in chief of the...

Barbara Netter received the Ray of Hope Award during the Center for HOPE's annual fundraising luncheon Wednesday, April 23, at the Woodway Country Club in Darien, where Arianna Huffington, the founder and editor in chief of the Huffington Post, was the guest speaker.
Jarret Liotta/For the Darien News
Photo: Contributed

Barbara Netter received the Ray of Hope Award during the Center for...

Arianna Huffington, third from left, the founder and editor in chief of the Huffington Post, was the guest speaker at the Center for HOPE's annual fundraising luncheon Wednesday, April 23, at the Woodway Country Club in Darien. With her are the event co-chairmen, from left, Louise Vanderlip, Terri Walker and Jan Dilenschneider.
Jarret Liotta/For the Darien News
Photo: Contributed

Arianna Huffington, third from left, the founder and editor in...

Arianna Huffington, the founder and editor in chief of the Huffington Post, was the big draw for the Center for HOPE's annual fundraising luncheon Wednesday, April 23, at the Woodway Country Club in Darien.
Jarret Liotta/For the Darien News
Photo: Contributed

Arianna Huffington, the founder and editor in chief of the...

Arianna Huffington, founder and editor-in-chief of the Huffington Post, speaks at Woodway Country Club in Darien, Conn., during the Center for HOPE's annual luncheon.
Photo: Lindsay Perry

There are few women who encapsulate the definition of success as soundly as Arianna Huffington. Yet the author, activist and entrepreneur told a large gathering in Darien Wednesday that real success goes far beyond status or material rewards.

"If we just value the first two metrics of success -- money and power -- we'll never have enough," she said. "It's like trying to sit on a two-legged stool. Soon you fall off."

Huffington was the featured speaker at the Family Centers' annual spring luncheon to benefit the Center for HOPE and the Den for Grieving Kids, drawing more than 300 guests to the Woodway Country Club. The Family Centers' programs offer counseling and support to residents of lower Fairfield County coping with a loss, a critical illness or life-altering circumstance.

Huffington, founder and editor-in-chief of the Huffington Post news website and author of more than a dozen books, talked about her latest, "Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder." The book details her experiences bottoming out with stress and overwork, and how a serious physical fall led her to reassess her own definition of success.

During the lunch, Huffington spoke about the metrics of success, which include not just money and power but also a third metric that centers on health and well-being, wisdom, wonder and giving. "There's nothing wrong with the first two metrics," she said. "They're just not enough. Over the last century, our culture -- the whole western culture -- forgot about what philosophers and spiritual teachers have taught us about life."

She noted that modern culture has largely built itself on the erroneous belief that an intense focus on work is a positive thing.

"When we constantly sacrifice our own health and well-being on the altar of success, we're making a really ridiculous bargain," she said, adding that two-thirds of American health-care costs involve preventable conditions. "We know how fragile life is -- much more fragile than we think."

She said an unbalanced focus on money and power can lead to physical ailments, including depression and addiction.

Huffington noted that many people give more care to their smartphones than they do to themselves and reviled the obsession many people have with their emails and electronic devices. "We need to make it as unacceptable as people picking their noses or scratching their private parts in public," she said of the excessive focus on smartphones. "At the end of the day, take all your devices and turn them off, and recharge them away from your bedroom."

Awakening in the night to check messages, she said, has a proven adverse effect on sleep.

Lack of sleep, Huffington said, has impaired her work because it cuts her off from her natural wisdom. "I get over-reactive," she said. "I take things personally. I hire the wrong people. We look around and we see leaders in politics and media and business making terrible decisions -- not because they're not smart, but because they're not wise."

Huffington also emphasized the importance of wonder, citing the example of the pretty surroundings at Woodway. "It's so easy not to pay attention because we are buried in our smart phones or in our thoughts, so we miss the moment and we miss the beauty of life," she said.

Finally, she spoke of giving, citing the fundraising luncheon as a prime example. "Without giving, life is incredibly incomplete," she said. "Now we have science that proves we are wired to give. When you are actually giving, it's a shortcut to happiness."

Jan Dilenschneider, of Darien, one of three co-chairwomen for the event, introduced Huffington. "We like to see strong women, don't we?" Dilenschneider said. "But I think you're going to find out she has a really big heart. She's a wonderful, wonderful caring woman."

Others too extolled her work, as well as the message of her book. "I've read the book and it's such an inspiration," Terri Walker, of Rowayton, an event co-chairwoman, said.

Barrett Bookstore helped secure Huffington for the event, at which each guest received a copy of her book. The event also featured a silent auction. "Today is about raising the funds to support the wonderful work we do at the Center for HOPE and the Den for Grieving Kids," said Bob Arnold, president of Family Centers.