Many times this season, we’ve heard GolTV’s Ray Hudson use the breadth and depth of the English language to describe the brilliance of Lionel Messi. Wednesday, Ray got the chance to call the other best player in the world that resides in La Liga – Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo. Every time I think we have the best goal call of the year from Ray, he goes and tops himself with another call more “excited” than before. As Ronaldo unleashes one of his trademark free kicks into the net from way downtown, it sends Ray into an orgasmic state… even for him…

“AAAAAAARRRRREE YOU KIDDING ME!!! A-STONISHING!!! THIS IS NOT JUST A DREAM, IT’S A WET DREAM OF ORGASMIC PROPORTIONS!!! And this one deludes everybody, it seduces everybody in Real Madrid’s fanclub that’s for sure. The wonder strike from Cristiano. This has got more curves to it than Jessica Rabbit on steroids. Take a look at this. It’s flyin all over the job. Unbelievable! Look at that! It’s a phenomenal technique. He gets it up on the ball and it arches like an incredible rainbow. Astonishing wonder strike from Cristiano!”

Everyone will focus on Ray’s orgasmic commentary, I’m more impressed with the Jessica Rabbit reference though. As if that wasn’t all, Ronaldo scored what could have been an even better goal in the second half that left Ray Hudson speechless! Leaving Ray Hudson in that state is surely the most impressive feat in Ronaldo’s footballing career…

http://youtube.com/watch?v=yzn5_jcc1CU

“Again the sleeping sword awakens by Cristiano Ronaldo. Deadlier than a King Cobra with this astonishing strike. The dark invader that is Cristiano Ronaldo baby! He rolls the dice again and he’ll be squeezin ’em tonight! It’s a beautiful hit that in my opinion is better than the first one. He sees the target and again the dynamic is… well… you pick it out because I’ve used it all up. It gyrates… it bends… it’s got more ups and downs than Space Mountain!”

About Matt Yoder

Award winning sportswriter at The Comeback and Awful Announcing. The biggest cat in the whole wide world.