Tuesday, September 9, 2014

I haven't posted anything for a while. My bad. Life has been very busy lately - in a good way.

I decided that the way I want to catch up is to write a number of posts - each on a topic or a specific aspect of events over the past couple of weeks. That, to me, is a more effective way of saying what I want to say than to put it all in one long, rambling post.

I'll start with this one. I wrote it on Thursday August 28 but never published it.

Thursday, August 28

First things first - I had another very pleasant weekend.
I did some work outside work that needed to be done (it was the perfect weekend for it). And, of course, there was the weekly motorcycle
trip. We did a 100 mile circle up one of the most scenic roads in the area (and that's saying something). USA Today recently identified Ashley River Rd. as one of the most Scenic Roads in the South (link here).

I thought about stopping for photos a half dozen times, but I think we'll head back there in the fall to do that. The weather was perfect for an afternoon ride, and best of all we had the roads to ourselves for a good bit of it.

We bought these Blue Tooth communication devices and tested them out yesterday - it was way cool. Big thumbs up from both of us.

Now - current events....

I flew to Rochester NY a couple of evenings ago. The main reason for the trip is to celebrate my mom's 85th birthday. But my sister has done an amazing job of pulling people who are either part of the family or have intersected with the family from all over the country for a day-long event on Saturday.

One of our ex-neighbors from Buffalo NY in the early '70s is flying in from Florida. A cousin I haven't seen since 1971 is taking the train in from Virginia. Cousins from LA are coming. Other cousins from NYC are coming. A family friend from Dallas is flying in. I'm actually looking forward to re-connecting with this group after so many years.

And, of course, as with every time I come back to Rochester I find myself wallowing in nostalgia. This area is "home" for me more than any other. We bought our first house here, my son was born here, my father died here, my brother and sister live here, I have lots of friends and memories....none of that has changed. If anything, time amplifies it.

Just an example...when my book came out in 2003 I was asked to speak at the Barnes and Noble here in Pittsford. The person who arranged everything is Penny. I participated in a couple of other events in the years afterwards and Penny was there, too. I stop in to see if she's still at B&N. It seems as though she's ALWAYS there. Well, I stopped by yesterday. And, as usual - she was there. So nice to see her.

I explained some of what I've done over the past couple of years. The wrestling, working in a cold underground bunker at US Strategic Command, the motorcycle, some of the traveling. She told me to write another book. I told her I'm too busy doing this stuff to write about it. :)

I stopped by the old neighborhood - as I always do. I spent time catching up with my mom, my sister, and my nieces. I had dinner with the daughter of our neighbors for all 15 years we lived there -she's married now and has a young son.

Dinner with JoElyn and her family. She used to babysit for us when my son was the age that hers is now.

I stopped to look at the apartments my wife and I moved into in mid-1982 when we first moved to Rochester, before we bought our house. I had lunch at my favorite BBQ with a good friend from the area I've known since the local paper did a story on me a dozen years ago. I visited the Harley dealership - a friend bought me a small bell to put on my bike for good luck. I drove around - noticing things that had changed and things that hadn't.

We drove up to Honeyoye Falls to enjoy the late summer/early fall sights that make the area so wonderful this time of year.

Honeyoye Falls

The Sunflower field on Rt. 64 is nearing full bloom

I stopped to visit the woman who helped keep me sane through the early '80s thru the mid '90s (her name is Deborah). At the time she had a make-up studio...it has grown into a thriving Brow business (thus the name - Brow Biz). Although we only see each other once ever couple or three years it's always nice to catch up where we left off - very comfortable and easy with her. All in all - it's just nice to be home.

Visiting the always wonderful Deborah at Brow Biz.
Over the course of a decade She helped my "other" self more than I can express.

One thing that has stuck me over these past few days is how simple my life here was. My life "before", that is. I wasn't pulled in a hundred different directions. Priorities seemed very simple - family first, everything else second. I wasn't wondering where I'd be living in 6 months or a year, I wasn't involved in extra-curricular activities (other than our wedding video business), it was all very comfortable. One of the things people sometimes ask is whether or not I would have transitioned if I hadn't moved away from the area and I really don't know - I can't hazard a guess. The issues bubbled to the surface every few months but otherwise I had come to accept them as simply part of the tide of life - in sometimes, then out.

Regardless - life seems far more complicated these days. I feel like I'm juggling far more than I was when I lived there - I'm not sure if it's true or not (memory can be pretty selective sometimes) but at least that's what I feel when I go back. That's not a bad thing - but it's a noticeable thing.

I feel a very real need to visit my past sometimes. I realize some people want to escape their pasts, or erase their pasts, but that's not me. My past is part of who I am, and I've made friends with it, I enjoy staying in touch with it whether it's people, places, events, or memories. All good.

I also find that when I come home to Rochester I tend to turn more introspective than usual. I think it's due to a combination of things, but part of it is simply the comfort of the familiar, the deep connection I still have with the area, and the joy I feel being around my family. My brother and sister (and their families) still live here, my father died here, and when my mom visits for her birthday each August it's our only opportunity to all be together. I appreciate it while I can.

With my little niece, Kyrie. She's the happiest person I know.

The festivities kick off tomorrow - it's my mom's actual birthday. A group of 20 of us will be going out for dinner (she enjoys going to a Japanese place where they cook at the table), then there will be an all day party at a local sailing club on Saturday. I hope the weather cooperates.