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October 4, 2015

I’m not going to lie to you, I am at a bit of loss as to how I should introduce myself, or what I should really tell to the world. Also how does one do that without sounding kind of braggy? Am I right? I feel like the first post (and the “about” page, don’t even get me started…) is a little bit like writing a resume that you will share only with your friends. They know you really well, but for some reason your feel compelled to tell them everything. Except it’s not everything, is it? If we’re going to be honest, then I will tell you that’s it’s only the best bits that I’m willing to share.

Anyways, perhaps I will begin with why I’m here. I feel the need to write and be creative, but my day job doesn’t allow me that opportunity often. I work in a position that combines social work with law enforcement, which to tell you the truth, is pretty bad-ass. I get to work with people every day, who are all kinds of fascinating. But there is very little ability for me to deviate from a prescribed set of rules, policies, and procedures; this does not permit for much creativity. Also, while there are occasionally some beautiful things, there is often a lot of ugly associated with my job. So one of the reasons I am here is to create something beautiful and fun, a place where I am able to focus on a different side of life and in the way that I see fit. This little blog is my rebellion. Haha.

Also, I am hilarious. That sure what braggy, eh? But seriously, I seem to be one of those people who just happens to have ridiculous things happen to them, and I have been told more than once that I am pretty good at telling these ridiculous stories. I am going to try my best to translate those real-world abilities to this blog, fully aware of the fact that I can’t punctuate my stories with sound effects or facial features, which are often the hallmark of my tales. However, I am going to give it a go and see what happens.

I’m really curious, why are you here? I assume that you likely found a link on my one of social media sites and stumbled yourself here. Or maybe, if I am really lucky, someone referred you to this blog because you “just have to read it”. That would be pretty awesome. But it’s quite possible that you are also asking yourself this same question: “Why am I here?” *head scratch*. That’s cool, but maybe hang around a bit and see if you can make some kind of justification for your time here, as I’ll let you in on a little secret: I’m trying to do that too.

That brings me back to the honestly thing again. If I am going to be totally forthright with you, I am scared. Scared that I am not going to be funny, witty, or interesting in a blog that touts itself as being satirical. Scared that I won’t have anything to say, let alone enough to say something each week. But am also hopeful, in that perhaps I will pleasantly surprise myself and have lots to say after all. Let’s keep our fingers crossed on this idea and soldier on. See you next Sunday (I hope)!