Ann Rostow: 2017 Year in Review Quiz

By Ann Rostow–

It’s that time again, dear Readers. Quiz time! These quizzes are more labor intensive than they seem, and they oblige me to reread my last 26 columns. For the record, my most over-used word this year was “insufferable,” an adjective I applied to everyone and his cousin from Neil Gorsuch to Paul Manafort’s lawyer.

Speaking of Gorsuch, if I had to rank my most appalling lapse of judgment, I’d start with my optimistic “glass half full” reactions to Gorsuch, all of which were to be retracted in full as he joined the bench and revealed that—surprise—there wasn’t a drop left in the damn glass and the bottle was empty, too.

Finally, I’m always saddened by the little snippets that can’t find a place in the year-end quiz: the gay crosswalk signals that Madrid installed for International Pride; the lesbians attacked in London after walking out of a pub singing, “I’m in the mood for dancing;” the dismal crowd at the National Organization for Marriage antigay protest; the insufferable(yes, there’s that word again) Margaret Court; and the talking Wonder Bible. But you see, they did find a place here after all.

Have a lovely New Year, everyone. 2018 cannot help but be an improvement. And now to the quiz!

d) Read the transcript of the tax conference committee minutes or all six books of Karl Ove Knausgaard’s My Struggle?

e) Dine on perfectly cooked rack of lamb with Donald Trump or eat a “rock hard” steak with Hillary Clinton?

Question Seven: What happened to the fight for marriage equality in Australia?

a) After a non-binding postal vote showed citizens favor marriage by a two to one margin, the Parliament authorized a formal and binding referendum for next February.

b) A non-binding postal vote, which seemed to favor marriage equality, will be certified only after the country’s top court gives the okay.

c) Following a pro-marriage postal vote, Parliament has been considering a number of draft laws, but most of them include loopholes for religious actors.

d) After marriage activists won the postal vote, Parliament promptly passed a full marriage equality law with no antigay amendments.

e) While election officials continue recount the ballots from November’s non-binding postal vote in Australia, marriage equality came into effect in Austria. Close! Only two letters apart!

Question Eight: Who said it: “Of course, I dress well. I didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.”

a) Kevin Spacey, one day prior to a press conference by a mother whose teenaged son was molested by Spacey just a few years ago

b) Ric Grenell, Trump’s ill qualified nominee to be Ambassador to Germany, who still awaits confirmation

c) Chadwich Moore, a gay pedant who also said gays only care about “pop music and going to the beach.”

d) Joey Slivinski, a Missouri high school senior whose yearbook quote was deleted by the administration.

Question Nine: The most irritating television commercial discussed in this column in 2017 was:

a) the repellent toilet paper bears with their tag line, “Enjoy the go!”

b) the misguided GMC truck ads that suggest being a “good person” and a “good dad” are pathetic goals.

c) the “untuckit” shirt commercials, which rebrand an indifferent and slovenly personal style into a deliberate fashion statement.

d) the annual phenomenon in which random products are marketed as Christmas presents, best exemplified by the company that makes rubber floor mats for the car and suggests these could serve as holiday gifts.

d) the sudden and unexplained divorce between Donald and Melania Trump.

e) the nuclear stand down by Kim Jong Un.

f) the continued expansion of the American economy.

g) the fact that nothing surprises us anymore.

Answers:

c) Federal judges. Judge Marsha Pechman’s decision out of Seattle was only announced recently, so you couldn’t have read about it in this column. But you should know it anyway!

a), b) and c). Did you pick e)? Are you kidding me?

b) The lions, Simba and Mufasa, are gay. The other animals mentioned were presumably heterosexual. The crabs may have been involved in the death of Amelia Earhart, who may have crashed on a remote island and been eaten by the (presumably heterosexual) three-foot crustaceans.

b) or c). The High Court recently denied review of the Georgia case, which leaves the sky diver next in line for a major Title VII review. The sky diver, Donald Zarda, killed himself BASE jumping in Switzerland, but his lawsuit lives on. It is now pending a decision by the full Second Circuit and, in theory, it could wind up before the Court next session. Meanwhile, the Seventh Circuit ruled in favor of trans-youth Ash Whitaker in a case that now sits on the High Court’s petition pile. Will they take it? We’ll see. As for the florist, why would they take that case when they’re already considering the same issues in the Masterpiece Cakeshop lawsuit?

d) The Trump story is fake. Klinefelter syndrome describes a man who carries a redundant extra “X” chromosome. Although someone marked “XXY” on Trump’s draft paperwork, the shorthand refers to draft eligibility, and has nothing to do with chromosomes. So, it’s not true.

d) They passed it without exceptions. Surprised? I know! I’ve been so negative over the years. I’ve painted the powers-that-be in Australia as cowardly rabbits, kicking the can down the road with their powerful hind legs. In my defense, check out TheNew York Timescoverage, which points out that the Australian Parliament has tried and failed to pass marriage equality 22 times since 2004. As they say, the 23rd time’s the charm.

d) The high school senior. His principal later apologized. “In an effort to protect our students, quotes that could potentially offend another student or groups of students are not published. It is the school’s practice to err on the side of caution. Doing so in this case had the unintentional consequence of offending the very students the practice was designed to protect.”

b) GMC truck. These others are all annoying, but the GMC ads reflect a soulless mentality. Oh, and I talked about the floor mats last year and not this year, but they’re back again, worse than ever.

b) I can’t imagine a great ruling coming out of the Masterpiece case, so that would surprise me most. I’m already dreaming about the midterm wave. Nothing about Trump would surprise me. I don’t think North Korea wants war, and I think the economy will continue to grow. As for g), that’s not a surprise now, is it?