The First of the Four Last Things: An Advent Tale

In ages past, Advent prepared for the First Coming of Christ by the “momentum mortis,” the first of the Four Last Things. It’s an urgent matter behind These Stone Walls.

In the second decade of the Nineteenth Century, the American poet Ralph Waldo Emerson was a student at Harvard Divinity School where, 150 years later, my Jesuit uncle became its first Roman Catholic dean. That fact alone would have seriously rankled Harvard’s Puritan founders who established the college in 1636, sixteen years after the Mayflower pilgrims landed at Plymouth. One of the first official acts of the Puritans’ Massachusetts Bay Colony was to outlaw any observance of Christmas.

Nearly two centuries later, at Christmas, 1827, Emerson traveled by horse and buggy from Cambridge to visit the Concord, New Hampshire State Prison. He was horrified to learn that the prison was inhumanely overcrowded with a total of 82 prisoners confined in cells designed to hold 36. Emerson wrote of the experience:

“At this season, they shut up the convicts in these little granite chambers at about 4 o’clock PM and let them out about 7 o’clock AM – 15 dreadful hours.”

The challenges of Christmas in prison have only magnified since Emerson wrote of it. Today, the Concord, NH prison has swelled to nearly 3,000 prisoners still confined in cells designed for less than half that number. Confinement for the holidays hasn’t changed much either. When I first titled this post, I settled on “Christmas on the Bipolar Express,” but the tides of life in captivity made me reconsider.

In Emerson’s day it would have been unheard of, for prison sentences were a fraction of what they are today, but I am approaching my 21st Christmas in prison, and it’s the 23rd for our friend Pornchai-Maximilian who went to prison at age 18. When we tell this to younger prisoners on the verge of their annual Christmas trip aboard the bipolar express they stare at us in shock and awe. “That’s so depressing,” they say.

It’s an odd thing that prisoners here seem to calculate time in prison using Christmas as a benchmark. When I ask other prisoners how long they have been here, they usually have to think about it. But when I ask them how many times they have been in prison for Christmas, the answer is instant and accurate, and usually followed by a look of profound sadness.

When I wrote “The Missiles of October,” I ended with a statement that the missiles aimed at us in prison are many and great, but I cannot focus on them. There are just too many amazing things happening behind these stone walls for me to bemoan all the target practice. I wrote that I’m looking forward to telling you about some of the better news.

And I already have. One of those amazing things is the Tapestry of God I described in “A Stitch in Time” recently. What has unfolded in the life of Pornchai Moontri since his Divine Mercy conversion is wonderful and mysterious to behold. The fact that we behold it at Christmas in one of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s “little granite chambers,” confined for two decades and counting, is actually a part of that miracle. We were powerless to bring about the wonderful developments, connections and reunions that Pornchai-Maximilian now celebrates – the ones that are saving his life after Divine Mercy saved his soul.

THE FOUR LAST THINGS

The sheer grace of that story dwarfs prison. For me, it nearly silences all its gloom and doom – even at Christmas. But there are many other stories running parallel to ours, and one of them has been unfolding with new developments that are simply amazing. It’s the story of Anthony Begin that I first told in “Pentecost, Priesthood, and Death in the Afternoon.”

In modern times, the Advent season has become almost entirely an anticipation of Christmas and its good tidings of comfort and joy, but Advent wasn’t always so upbeat. It used to be a time to reflect on a reality most of us in Western Culture now take great pains to avoid: the “momentum mortis,” the anticipation of our own death, the first of the Four Last Things which consider our final destiny.

Since ancient times in the consciousness of the Church, Death, Judgment, Heaven, and Hell have been acknowledged as the inevitable destinies of humankind, the Four Last Things, and Advent was a time to come to terms with them. As the First Letter of Saint Peter warns:

“Be sober and alert. Your opponent the devil is prowling about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experience of suffering is required of your brotherhood throughout the world.” (1 Peter 5:8-9)

It’s a challenge in our era to reconcile Saint Peter’s admonition when, for many, Christmas has been diminished into a secular, materialistic “holiday season.” But the gravity of the First Coming of Christ requires that we overcome that challenge.

I laid out the connection between the Fall of Man and the Birth of Christ in another Advent post, “I’ve Seen the Fall of Man.” Since then, Anthony Begin has renewed his interest in the Four Last Things, and most certainly my own as well.

“AM I LIVING OR AM I DYING?”

Six months ago, at the age of 49, Anthony discovered that he has terminal stage four cancer. After years of complaining of pain in his chest, an x-ray revealed a large mass on one lung. Then an MRI revealed that the malignant cancer had spread to his spine, lymph nodes, and brain. He was told that aggressive radiation treatments and chemotherapy. might give him months to live. Within weeks of this discovery last May, Anthony’s condition deteriorated quickly, and he was consigned to the prison hospital, a prison within the prison, where he was to die.

In the months to follow, I was able to see Anthony only from a distance as he waved from a far window while we passed on the long walk across the walled prison yard to the dining hail. His attempts to have me and Pornchai visit him were denied. But on some Sunday mornings, Anthony was allowed the rare privilege of leaving the hospital for an hour to climb a few flights of stairs to the prison chapel for Sunday Mass.

Largely because of his interaction with Pornchai Moontri, Anthony decided to become Catholic and was received into the Church near the end of July. Like Pornchai, Anthony finds much grace through the Divine Mercy apostolate.

By October, Anthony’s prognosis got worse – much worse. Even as chemotherapy commenced, the cancer advanced. New scans revealed new tumors in the brain. An oncologist told Anthony that he may have a few months to live. In the brief few minutes he had to discuss this with us before and after Mass, I noted the struggle between Anthony’s fear and the trust he was finding in his newly discovered faith. After one Mass, I gave Anthony a copy of a TSW post, “The Holy Longing,” an All Souls Day post about the hopefulness of purgatory.

Then, suddenly, on the Solemnity of Christ the King, the one year anniversary of our Consecration following the “33 Days to Morning Glory” retreat, Anthony told Pornchai and me something astonishing. A new scan that week showed that the tumors on Anthony’s lymph nodes were no longer visible, and all the others had shrunk by half. “It’s not remission,” the startled oncologist told him. “Your cancer seems to have gone to sleep.”

The next day, the prisoner in the overflow bunk just outside our cell door was suddenly moved somewhere else. We were told only that the bunk is being held for someone. The day after that, Anthony showed up, released – for now – from the prison hospital. “Go live your life,” the prison doctor told him.

Anthony will be taken for a new P.E.T. scan in three months, but, for now, we are looking out for him. His few remaining months have now become “maybe two years.” Anthony lost a lot of weight, and all his hair, and his health is seriously depleted, but he is overjoyed to be back.

Anthony and Pornchai and I have been discussing the Four Last Things in preparation for the First Coming of Christ at Christmas. “I don’t know whether I’m living or dying now,” Anthony said. He’s doing both. We’re all doing both.

I just showed them a paragraph about an intriguing new book, True Paradox (InterVarsity Press 2014) by David Skeel, a law professor at the University of Pennsylvania. The book was reviewed by Barton Swain in a recent issue of The Wall Street Journal (“In Praise of Gentle Apologias,” Nov. 22/23, 2014). Barton Swaim described the book:

“To make the point vivid, Mr. Skeel describes the final illnesses of two very different men: The contrarian journalist Christopher Hitchens and Harvard Law professor William Stuntz. Hitchens was an atheist, Stuntz a committed Christian.”

True Paradox charts the great difference between the ways these two men thought about, and wrote about, their terminal cancer. The most captivating chapter deals with the afterlife. Barton Swaim described David Skeel’s argument:

“No one who achieves great things … really believes those achievements are pointless, destined to fade into nothingness … our work on earth will somehow find its fulfillment in heaven… The Bible strongly implies that the Christian’s life in eternity will extend his earthly life’s complexity, only without failure and rebellion against God.”

Anthony found this to be profoundly hopeful. So do I. It’s also sobering, calling to mind that our “momentum mortis” is something far deeper than a reflection on death. It’s a reflection also on the art of living, and it’s the greatest of Advent hopes. Opening ourselves to the Birth of Christ lets fall away all the hubris of being human. We belong to Christ, and we have but a little Advent left to come to terms with that.

Anthony, too, has seen the Fall of Man. He has seen it in himself and all around him. The great thing he is now to achieve, the thing he will take into life in eternity, is the sure knowledge that no one can witness the Birth of Christ, and remain a prisoner.

Editor’s Note: We have met our goal for the fund for Father Gordon MacRae’s Federal Appeal at These Stone Walls. At this writing, the habeas corpus appeal remains pending before the United States District Court for the District of New Hampshire. Father MacRae is deeply grateful to readers for their generosity and spirit of justice. As this troubling case proceeds, there will be other costs, legal and otherwise. Should you wish to help or to continue assisting with the support of These Stone Walls, the PayPal link on TSW remains active. Please, see the CONTACT page on These Stone Walls for additional avenues of assistance.

About Fr. Gordon J. MacRae

The late Cardinal Avery Dulles and The Rev. Richard John Neuhaus encouraged Father MacRae to write. Cardinal Dulles wrote in 2005: “Someday your story and that of your fellow sufferers will come to light and will be instrumental in a reform. Your writing, which is clear, eloquent, and spiritually sound will be a monument to your trials.” READ MORE

Comments

dear Father Gordon Anthony and Pornchai,
I keep you in my prayers always .May God continue to bless you all abundantly.You are a sign of hope for us even though you are behind those walls.I am so sorry you have to endure being there .May 2015 bring you many more blessings! Barb

Praise God for the miracle sent to Anthony… praise Him, also, for the miracle of Christian fellowship he has to help encourage him, in the joy of the Lord, to continue the process of healing.

Fr. Gordon, praise God for You. I continue to read about the many miracles, in Your prison, occurring to, thru and in You and those to whom You minister. As the other apostles were used for miracles from their prisons, so, too, I continue to attribute You to their legacy. I read once, that; when we see or hear miracles thru a particular person, You can bet that person is a saint. What a profound experience knowing You thru text on a page. You blow my mind away. What a marvelous, glorious God we love and adore, and how He continues to show Himself thru You.

Thank You, Fr. Gordon, once again, for Your heroic bravery and patience. You are epic.
I cannot thank our God enough for using You.. and allowing me the grace to ‘know’ You.

God bless You, and Your prison mates, and all who come in contact with You. You are, as always, in my DAILY prayers. I pray God grant me the blessing of still being on earth when You are gifted with Your freedom.

Always in His Heart.

Helen

PS: Please say a little prayer. Hoping to get a new computer…. after Christmas. I hope that’s not too late.

Dear Father Gordon, Christmas blessings to you and everyone you write about in These Stone Walls. I was late in posting cards this year, so they may not reach you this side of Christmas but hopefully they will reach you…!
Wonderful news about Anthony, please pass on my best regards.

Prayers and Blessings to all of you during this Holy Season. Wonderful news, Father. Anthony, so happy for you! Pornchai Max, I’m thinking about your family visit and wishing you all JOYOUS CHRISTMAS SEASON.

Hi Father Gordon!
What happy news you have shared with us! It is no doubt that the Lord is with you all in there.The work He is allowing through you is tremendous and awe inspiring! You are so loved in there and out here! We will keep the prayers going that His will be done in all things.
Anthony, may you continue in your spiritual and physical healing.
Wishing you all a joyful Christmas and a hope-filled New Year.
God love and bless you all

What wonderful news and what heart-warming account! Thank you Father Gordon.
As you enter into the deepest days of darkness, may you, Pornchai, and Anthony be overshadowed with God’s spirit of life and may it bring to bear through you a further incarnation of light, life, and love.

I would like to thank everyone who has sent me cards and letters during this very trying time in my life. I never dreamed that I would be in any position to thank you for your prayers but now it seems my cancer has gone to sleep while I am just waking up to all the grace that has come into my life. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a very blessed New Year of hope. Please keep praying for me as every day brings new challenges. One of them is living outside the cell door of two guys who have a never-ending stream of visitors. My social life has sure improved lately! I keep you all in my prayers.

Father Gordon: You said it so rightly: “…no one can witness the Birth of Christ, and remain a prisoner.” We pray that this Christmas that Jesus be born in the heart of every person and be freed from whatever prison has denied one from experiencing the true joy and freedom of the children of God!

Reminding us of the 4 Last Things reminds us of our mortality, and of how the 7 Deadly Sins and how we respond to temptation to commit them will determine our response to God in this life and how we will spend eternity after this life ends.

God Bless You, Pornchai, my name sharers Anthony and Michael and all the rest of your fellow inmates.

When you share a story of them with us, you communicate the blessing that they have received, which magnifies it for them and gives a share in it to us. God’s Economy of Salvation is so marvelous.

What wonderful Christmas news I received in your post today! After reading about Anthony sometime before or after Christ the King, I have kept him in my daily “rounds”, (a Divine Will approach to praying, in which one “fuses” themselves with Our Blessed Mother, the Trinity, the entire Celestial Court and all members of the Sons of the Divine Will Community.) It has been a joy to include Anthony in these prayers and ever since I have been patiently waiting for further news of his condition. Today I certainly got it!
Do let Anthony know how many have been praying for him and what a privilege it has been. May this Christmas continue to reflect the goodness of Our Beloved Lord and His amazing Mom!!
Suzanne Formanek

Good Morning, Father Gordon, Pornchai and Anthony. Thank you for the beautiful Christmas story. May your Christmas be Merry and Bright. As we go through some struggles in our family this Christmas, Iwill join ours with yours , and focus on the Merry and Bright as I thank God once again for freeing me from my prison when I was 19…50 years ago, when my brother, Ralph, led me in a prayer of surrendering my life to Jesus… Putting profound hope in a man, a mere man in his humanness… Wow.. He even died a horrible death…. to lead me on a path of loving God’s presence and guiding steps in my life. I have never regretted my abandonment . I became a daughter of a king in those few simple words. I hang onto that identity… In the good times, and the dark times, and the light is bright… The Joy profound … And the hope a beautifully wrapped gift. May you find all three gifts this Christmas as the 3 of you rejoice on Christmas Morning.

My heart breaks that you have to spend another Christmas behind the Stone Walls. I pray for your release daily. I am saying a 54 day Rosary Novena for your release (17 days for your release and 17 days of Thanksgiving for God’s response)! I ask all readers to join me.
I am not surprised at Anthony’s progress and ultimate recovery. Prayer and Faith are very powerful. I have seen them work Miracles! All one has to do is believe. There is a reason God has you where He has you. The same with St. Maximilliam Kolbe and all the other great saints that suffered awful injustices. Mother Theresa had a saying “God does not give us more than we can handle, I just wish He didn’t trust me so much” I laughed when I first read that, but quite honestly, I have said it many times during my own life. Jesu said “take up your CROSS and follow me”, it would have been better if He said take up your flower garden and follow me, but He didn’t. There is no doubt in my mind, that Jesus is carrying the Cross with you just like Simon did for Him. Your release is coming! Hold on to Him, Who loves you more than you will ever be able to fathom here on earth. He loves you to depths of His Heart and your reward will be great! You have not lost faith in Him. I hope and pray, you never do. You are a good man and a great Priest, Father Gordon! I have the utmost respect for you! I hope and pray you, Pornchai and Anthony have a very Blessed Christmas and Happy, Healthy New Year! Be assured, you all are in my prayers and will be till the day I leave this earth. God bless you and release you!

So Sorry to Father Gordon and all readers, It was very late when I typed my comment above, and it seems my math is WAY OFF at that time. The 54 day Rosary Novena is 27 days for the petition and 27 days for thanksgiving of God’s miraculous response. This Novena, in honor of Our Blessed Mother really does WORK!

I wish everyone God’s Peace and Love this Christmas and in the New Year!