Having the ‘Herpes talk’ before setting out on a vacation.

Question: Should I tell the guy I’m dating that I have herpes before we head out on our first romantic vacation? Or shall I wait until we are in the mood to have sex? I am really afraid of being rejected. Please help!

Answer: I understand that telling your partner about a herpes diagnosis can be tough but you would have to do it sooner or later. The reason your partner has invited you on a romantic vacation is probably to know you better and spend some quality time together, away from the hustle-bustle of the city. He might also use this as an opportunity to establish physical intimacy.

I’d advise you to reveal the details before you set out on a vacation. If he isn’t willing to accept you the way you are, he would feel cheated for having spent a great deal of time and money on the vacation.

‘Herpes talk’ is something you have to do in isolation and away from any distractions and certainly not before you get busy. Invite him over for dinner or meet at a coffee shop. Tell him exactly what you feel and be prepared for any kind of outcome – positive or negative. Make sure you have all the facts to educate him about the condition, in case he isn’t aware. Assure him that you have been taking medication and promise that you will let him know if you’re going to experience any outbreak.

Given the fact that herpes is an incurable condition, he has the right to know everything. Avoid resorting to any kind of emotional blackmailing and let him make the final call.

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