"So he says, 'OK, so . . . initiate lots of physical contact, talk loud to assert myself, give her a test command and see if she follows it . . . anything else?' And I say, 'Yeah--tell her to buy you a drink. It shows you think she's an equal.'"

Yeah, so I'm just driving home after a solid day's work when this truck starts tail-gating me real bad. Really riding my a**, you know? So, I give him a "non-verbal hand gesture" at a traffic light and he is hopping mad. I roll down the window to give this guy a piece of my mind and bam! He sucker punches me. When I come to, I set about finding this guy. It takes me a while, but I track down the "heavy/fat/stocky" SOB eating a Christmas Ham. An entire ham! Anyways, to make a long story short, I break out one of my "special" arrows and now we're even.

So I'm at this bar, ready to take aim at these two love birds, but the guy's opening line to the gal is, "I'm a lawyer and I make $100,000, but soon I'm going to get promoted and make $250,000." I just couldn't put that girl through the misery so I shooed the guy away and had a drink with her instead!

Can I have some more of that stuff to dip the tips into? You're right, they seriously follow ME around everywhere before they fall in love with the guy they are supposed to fall in love with. Nice~~ Finally, I get some action too!

So, the one who is laughing inquired if these arrows REALLY worked. When I answered in the affirmative, she asked me if I could use one on her best friend and hook her up with ANYBODY, as she was tired of listening to her friend complain about unavailable men....

So, the one who is laughing inquired if these arrows REALLY worked. When I answered in the affirmative, she asked me if I could use one on her best friend and hook her up with ANYBODY, as she was tired of listening to her friend complain about unavailable men....

So I shot him!
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So I said “Hey, my mother’s from Venus, my father’s from Mars, and here’s my moon you can kiss.”
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But the toughest case was the couple that were both so ugly they could have tripled his little blue pills and still not worry about seeking immediate medical attention four hours later.
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Turns out she said she likes bow ties, not beaus’ tied!

So I shot him!
------
So I said “Hey, my mother’s from Venus, my father’s from Mars, and here’s my moon you can kiss.”
------
But the toughest case was the couple that were both so ugly they could have tripled his little blue pills and still not worry about seeking immediate medical attention four hours later.
------
Turns out she said she likes bow ties, not beaus’ tied!

So I shot him!
------
So I said “Hey, my mother’s from Venus, my father’s from Mars, and here’s my moon you can kiss.”
------
But the toughest case was the couple that were both so ugly they could have tripled his little blue pills and still not worry about seeking immediate medical attention four hours later.
------
Turns out she said she likes bow ties, not beaus’ tied!

". . . so I was drawing back my bow, per my employment contract, when all of a sudden I heard my target say "oh hell no! I don't want to fall in love with that fool! You, on the other hand, have a very cute butt . . ."

So I say to him, "Hey, I'm CUPID, stupid, not Eros - I do the best you can't. I save the last of the best for me. Believe me, she's better than you can do on your own. These chicks think I'm cute...if only they knew I was Italian."

Name-dropping does not impress me. Just let me know you, because you're not measured by who surrounds you, whose autograph you have, whose picture you're posed in, or whose hands you've shaken. We all put our pants on the same way each morning, figuratively speaking.