Rather, that is, I have fat Americanisms,I have nothing before that -nothing before womb flipping, flippantmisanthropic contractionscontradicting the thickness of mylightly blue blood.

It is not a pure blue, as say, anotherdaughter's might have been. It is periwinkle,assure, astute to habitual harbors. Congenial tothe softer-still soullessness,

cemented, like our hand writing(all three of us) underneaththe fireplace in the living room, thosepen marks spilling across the floor beforethe house was completed,

because you knew,even with my infancy still ripe, pluckable,yet, not, that this would be my home.

Even before that, it seems to have beenunderstood that my birthstone wouldbe the ghoulish watery opal, scornful,wasteful, as predetermined in yourwinterish February love making,

and yet, my father never kissedmy mother's lips in front of me, mymother never reached for my father'sboney hand. And even as a child,I pointed this out to them, from the backsetof an old car, that they never did

thesethingspeopleare meant to do,

peopling the world, aspeople do. I was never stupid, thoughI faked it for a few years.

An aunt of mine procured an opalnecklace for me, after several yearsof birthday wishes, and when I saw thestone for the first time I gasped,disappointed, I had imaginedpassionate rubies, earthen emeralds,

rocks masquerading as gem stonescut into tiny squares, and I wore it aroundmy neck for a while, a few times maybe,

before discarding it for other jewels,other incarnations - a rhinestone set ofbulbous earrings, that sparkle like I'm moreimportant that the beauty of them. Mygreat-grandmothers alexandrite engagement ring,gold band worn thread-thin, too small for me.

A diamond is just another word for imprisonment.

I meant it when I said I had no heritage,I meant it when I questioned a love that was lessloving then my wrinkle-eyed perceptions commandedit to be.

Symbolism has more to do with perception, thenoccupation, or so I'm lead to believe.

Even realism through the guise of an opal is easy to conceive.

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