Can you believe this? In high school I weighed only 140lbs, and I thought I was a cow. I hated my body and everything about it and wanted to always be thinner. Now I am 240lbs after a baby too (she is 14 months old) no reason for me to be this overweight though. I have lost weight. I was up to 260 and slowly losing it now.

But when I look back at pictures of me now at 140lbs and think about how I felt about my body I feel stupid. I wasn't fat, still in a healthy weight range, not the skinniest person in the world, but I was by no means fat, and NOW I am FAT!

I think it's very common. Nothing like a different perspective and a little age to make us realize how unnatural our society expects our bodies to be.

__________________ Started 4/14/08 LINK TO PROGRESS PICS 1/1/2009 "It is impossible to live pleasurably without living wisely, well, and justly, and it is impossible to live wisely, well, and justly without living pleasurably" Epicurus

I never remember thinking I was skinny... I was around 105 through High School and remember thinking I would never be over 120 pounds no matter how much I ate. I was the biggest out of my best friends.. One was 5'7" and 98 pounds and the other was shorter about 5' and under 90 pounds. I remember we couldn't even give blood at the the blood drive in High School. BUT even then I didn't think I was thin enough. Don't get me wrong I wasn't obsessed with losing more weight but I just didn't think i had a "good" body even when I was getting a lot of positive feedback from people. At one point my parents did take me to a doctor b/c I was malnutrientioned which was acutally due to depression not an eating disorder.

My point is that I think that especially during adolescent no one is every happy with what they have.... even the skinny popular girls.

I do believe that it would have been harder to be overweight in H.S. and definitely can appreciate the hurt people can inflict on others. I'm glad I was never mean to anyone for being over weight.

I joined Facebook recently and a bunch of my old H.S classmates found me and they all look the same... I'm the ONLY one who has gained weight from what I can tell. I'm sure they are all talking about it LOL oh well

SAME thing for me!! I thought I was always the big girl! In middle school I was, but then I evened out in high school, but never really knew it..looking at the pictures, I can't believe I didn't embrace it and keep it that way..college was the killer..it was all over after that. Until now. I'll get there. I will. I have to. I WANT to!

How much our perspective changes! I remember crying for weeks because I had "ballooned" up to 125 pounds from 105 pounds between my soph. and junior year in high school. I crash dieted back down, of course, and now pay the price for those years of yo-yo dieting with my current snail-like metabolism. Silly teenaged me!

No matter my weight, I've always felt fat (especially as a 100 lb 8th grader!). Soooo basically I need to ignore how I feel, since it is unchanging, and go by objective measures, which is something I've learned to do.

When I look back at myself at 85lbs I still see fat. I don't think I was ever thin enough but I know that it's ridiculous and I don't need to go back there. The goal weight I have chosen is reasonable and healthy, regardless of if I get there and still think I'm fat. My perception is still skewed so I've got to work with what is logical not what looks right to me.