Rivers always gives Chargers a chance

Before the Chargers offense takes the field, the best quarterback in football should make like a bouncer and check IDs — not just to verify the ages of his wannabe pass catchers, but to make sure they aren’t using aliases and even qualify to be in the same nasty dive bar with him.

Of course, Rivers isn’t that way. He would take delight in throwing footballs to a group of overweight monks. Come on out and play, guys. Welcome to my neighborhood. You get open somehow, down there by that black Chevy, and I’ll get it to you.

Listen up. Dan Fouts is in the Hall of Fame, and he was really good, but although he was high sheriff in San Diego, he never was any better than Rivers is right now. Maybe because he never had to be. When did he have to throw to the posse of well-meaning amateurs Rivers had to sign up here Sunday?

Rivers not only was forced to play without his top four wide receivers and the best tight end in the game, but he won with their subs. When it appeared lost, when it seemed he had no right to, Rivers did a Gary Cooper, showing up here at high noon without much help and beat the Houston Texans 29-23 in Reliant Stadium.

But, when you’re as good as he is, doing things at this stage of a season no quarterback playing with a full deck has ever done, you have every right to. Rivers’ box of cards is missing its aces and a few kings. No matter.

The Chargers are 4-5 as they head into a bye week they need as much as the air we breathe, and they still aren’t very good and have no chance to be if their special teams units continue their run as the worst in the NFL’s 91 seasons. But they still have Rivers walking around.

And as long as they do, they have a chance when they seemingly have none. Like they did Sunday. Rivers is the best quarterback working at this moment and close to being the best in the history of a franchise that invented the modern passing game.

“I told the guys (Saturday) night that it didn’t matter if Gates plays, he (Rivers) will throw it to the right guy,” said Texans coach Gary Kubiak, himself a former quarterback. “It’s about defeating coverage and he is going to do that just like the guy (Peyton Manning) we played last week. It doesn’t matter who you give them, they will find a way to beat coverage.”

Or little coverage, such as that provided by the Houston secondary, the worst in the game.

“It’s the first time we’ve had that many guys out; guys that I’ve had a lot of games with,” said Rivers, who completed 17 of 23 passes for 295 yards and four touchdowns (two to Ajirotutu). “The way we practiced the last few weeks, we haven’t had Malcom or Legedu, and Gates hasn’t been able to practice. From a practice standpoint, I was able to get a ton of valuable reps and have a great deal of confidence in those guys.”

Still, Rivers has to feel like Butch and Sundance when they were being chased. Who are these guys?

“In a lot of ways, it’s a challenge,” he said. “But we’re finding ways to win. They’re very grounded, just-want-to-win guys. These are guys you can trust.”

Head coach Norv Turner said it best: “He makes a lot of guys look like real good players.”

Rivers probably would trust his money with Bernie Madoff right about now. But as special as he is, his club just had too many problems now to be good. Special teams is pathetic, and if something drastic has to be done during this bye week, so be it.

They say the punt Mike Scifres had blocked that led to a Texans touchdown less than two minutes into the game wasn’t really a block, because the punt went for a yard. But it was a block all right, the team’s fifth, if you ask me. Know how many non-Chargers punts have been blocked in the NFL this year? Five.

Twelve linebackers have been used this season and it’s showing. The front seven got shoved around big-time, especially in the first half, when Texans tailback Arian Foster ran for 99 yards.

The running game appeared to pick up — until rookie Ryan Mathews lost his third fumble of the year and stopped a drive when the Chargers had the lead and momentum. Note to Ryan: Coaches do not like fumblers — unless they’re coaching the other team.

At the bye, the Chargers aren’t good enough yet. Their quarterback is. But is he, alone, enough?

Sometimes card sharps can take you only so far. But it’s entertaining sleight of hand.