13 Things You DEFINITELY Deal With if You Live in Hollywood

Sure, Hollywood is crawling with awesomeness -- speakeasy-themed bars, movies in a cemetery, secret comedy clubs, historic music venues, and, like, crazily, stunningly beautiful people. But if you live there, you also know that it can be a real pain in the ass. If you call Hollywood home, here are 13 things you’ve come to accept about your ‘hood:

The Worst Winter States

related

1. Helicopters

One minute you’re swapping Tinder tales with your neighbor. The next, all you can hear is [helicopter flies overhead] BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

2. Rock 'n' Roll Ralph's parking lot

How badly do you want Humboldt Fog cheese? Obviously, badly enough to drive around looking for a place to park in the upper and lower lots... then on the street... and finally, car-stalking a shopper a block away so you can steal their spot.

3. Bicyclists riding on streets without a bike path

So, your legs can only move as fast as that 5-hour ENERGY drink allows you to. Buuuut that still doesn’t stop you from darting out in front of BMWs and Mazdas. We love that you’re conserving natural resources without a gel seat (brave!). Just don’t get in our lane.

6. Hollywood Bowl traffic

7. Bartenders who are "mixologists"

We’re sorry. We don’t know the difference. We’re just... so... thirsty. What are you doing to that ice????

8. Name-droppers

Yeah, it’s super cool that Dan from The Black Keys texted you, and Dan from The Black Keys wants to party with you when Dan from The Black Keys hits LA to play a secret show that you got passes to from Dan from The Black Keys. But you sound a little manic when you keep saying “Dan from The Black Keys” over and over to anyone who will listen. Also, can I be your +1 for that party?

11. The "flexibly-priced" parking lots

12. Special events

Aren't you excited!!! It’s Frozen 3’s red carpet premiere tonight at the El Capitan Theatre!!!!!!! And every street that leads to where you want to go is either a) closed or b) filled with cars, or c) closed AND filled with cars!!!!!!!! There's literally no way to let it goooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13. Homeless people who pee on the sidewalk

We are wholeheartedly sorry that you’re wandering the streets AND you had to relieve yourself. But that doesn’t mean we want to play “Dodge the Stream” on the way to Urban Ramen.

Sign up here for our daily LA email and be the first to get all the food/drink/fun Los Angeles has to offer.

Michelle Spencer has lived in Hollywood for six years and sometimes walks up to Ralph’s to avoid the parking situation -- even if it means passing peeing hobos. She’s at @thermos62000 on Twitter and @rockingirlie on Instagram.