At my writing center job, there's an online system where students can make appointments and tell us what they want help with. Sometimes they have detailed questions, which is great; sometimes they just write the name of the assignment, which is still helpful; sometimes they write "grammar and proofreading," which is always fun. Today, I had an appointment where the student simply wrote "paper." I never would've guessed!

Our automated emails say in large, bold letters: this is an automatically generated message. Please do not reply. Of course there are replies! And then the poor person of Central Services who receives them, has to figure out which faculty or department these people belong to.

This happens to me at least once a day- someone will call for someone else who isn't available, I ask them "can I put you through to his/her voicemail?" And they just start rattling off a message at me like I'm an answering machine. I could understand if I said something ambiguous like "would you like to leave a message?" But I clearly say I am putting them through to voicemail. I just don't get it. Do people really not understand what voicemail is in 2012?

This happens to me at least once a day- someone will call for someone else who isn't available, I ask them "can I put you through to his/her voicemail?" And they just start rattling off a message at me like I'm an answering machine. I could understand if I said something ambiguous like "would you like to leave a message?" But I clearly say I am putting them through to voicemail. I just don't get it. Do people really not understand what voicemail is in 2012?

Or when they explicitly state "No, I don't want to leave a voicemail, but..." and then leave the message with you. This was especially frustrating for me when I had to explain that like...I might not even see the person you're wanting me to relay this message to for several days. So a more efficient way to give this information is to leave it on. the. stinkin. voicemail. I. just. mentioned.

So I was at work yesterday when a white customer asked a black coworker of mine where a particular item was. My coworker's first language clearly wasn't English. Upon realizing this, the customer unceremoniously turned away from my coworker and, as if my coworker wasn't there, repeated the question to me. It was beyond disrespectful. Luckily, I didn't know the answer to his question anyway. crasshole.

ETA: I should be clearer and add that my coworker was trying to answer when the customer turned away.

I might not even see the person you're wanting me to relay this message to for several days. So a more efficient way to give this information is to leave it on. the. stinkin. voicemail. I. just. mentioned.

This is me, except I am also just an outright idiot and may forget something that was told to me five minutes ago.

And that's the story of how I stopped asking if people wanted to be sent to a voicemail and just sent them without asking.

Every once in a while I'll call a place that claims to have no voicemail (which is annoying in and of itself). These must be the people that are calling you. I am sorry. I do wonder how they function in the 21st century.

My peeve - emails and voicemails that give minimal identifying information as to which loan they're talking about. I look at forty loans or more a day so saying "I'm calling about the Jones loan, call me" won't cut it. To make it worse, any common name (Smith, Chen, Nguyen, etc...) is impossible to look up in our system - too many hits. Unless your borrower's name is Strawberry McPistachio or something else REALLY memorable, I'm gonna need a loan number, thanks.

ok, they ain't clients, because it's an informal peer support thing, but....

why do 75% of the people who want to move to Brazil think that this will be the magical place where:-women are submissive and meek and want to stay in the kitchen-all the girls are virgins before marriage-"Marriage Is A Sacred Family Institution"????

I mean, really. The president is a woman who was a terrorist bomber against the military dictatorship. A good portion of the government and the workforce is female and strong, and while women's salaries are still lower than men's, women are no more likely to be meek and helpless here than in the US. As for virginity, I have no solid data but there's an awful lot of public tonsil-hockey by 12-year olds at my kid's school, and i don't think it's atypical- or stops at the waist. As for the Sacred Family Institution, that's the only part they (unwittingly) get right- same-sex unions are a human right, and can be used for any and all purposes including adoption, immigration, etc [unlike certain north american countries which Shall Not Be Named].

I always suggest they try Afghanistan, or maybe the New York Orthodox Jewish community if they're looking for virgin brides.

Mr Family Values was very upset by my suggestions and so I sent him a video of Kinky Friedman singing "Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed". Inexplicably, this left Mr Family Values even more irate. I mean, this is Kinky we're talking about here. Have these people no sense at all???

ok, they ain't clients, because it's an informal peer support thing, but....

why do 75% of the people who want to move to Brazil think that this will be the magical place where:-women are submissive and meek and want to stay in the kitchen-all the girls are virgins before marriage-"Marriage Is A Sacred Family Institution"????

I mean, really. The president is a woman who was a terrorist bomber against the military dictatorship. A good portion of the government and the workforce is female and strong, and while women's salaries are still lower than men's, women are no more likely to be meek and helpless here than in the US. As for virginity, I have no solid data but there's an awful lot of public tonsil-hockey by 12-year olds at my kid's school, and i don't think it's atypical- or stops at the waist. As for the Sacred Family Institution, that's the only part they (unwittingly) get right- same-sex unions are a human right, and can be used for any and all purposes including adoption, immigration, etc [unlike certain north american countries which Shall Not Be Named].

I always suggest they try Afghanistan, or maybe the New York Orthodox Jewish community if they're looking for virgin brides.

Ugh, I get so pissed off at customers who can't wait their turn. I try to give really good customer service and that means personal attention to each customer. Yesterday, someone had asked me a question and I was helping them when another customer interrupted and said "I have a question about a book". I told her I'd be with her in a moment when I was done with the customer I was busy with and she said "but it's just a question!" So I said, "I'm helping this gentleman with his question first. I'll be right with you." and she stormed off in a huff. shiitake like this happens all the time: people jumping ahead of a long line to "just ask a question" when a lot of people in that line are also waiting to just ask questions. Or people who think that "just asking a question" somehow trumps paying for books when paying for books actually is a fairly quick and straightforward process and answering a question quite often takes more time/research/attention.

_________________Ain't no guarantees in life, and nothing that comes out of my vagina can change that. - Erika Soyf*cker

i think it's awesome you answered like that. line cutting is an art here in Brazil and often cashiers don't say anything. But there is a certain store i go to that always has huge yet quick lines and the cashiers are very firm while still nice, "but you weren't next sir, sorry, can you step aside? you, yes, miss, you are next, please." Not said rudely, just in a way that oh, "everyone else learned to stand in line and take their turn at age 5, can you please get with the program?"

not customers, but fellow commuters... since last year, people have to show their tickets to the bus drivers. Before, you could just enter through all three doors. People will elbow their way into the bus no matter what, eventhough our stop is the first one and the bus is huge! I really admire the British for their ability to stand in line.

We have the odd wild card, usually pensioners who are anxious that they must be the very first person onto the double decker bus.

If the UK is at all like the States, they may just be worried that entitled, able-bodied jerks will take all the seats.

I witnessed a woman stand dumbly in the designated wheelchair area on a BART train this morning as a woman in a wheelchair boarded and then proceeded to maneuver around in the tiny space that was left to her.

Re: the voicemail thing, it's the opposite for me. We have voicemail, but that's only for when no one is there. I'm SUPPOSED to take the messages, and i've never actually fowarded anyone to the voicemail (I don't think anyone even knows how to do that on our phones). If I did forward people to the voicemail, my boss would get pissed at me. So when I ask people if I can take a message and they ask for his voicemail, instead of revealing either of those facts, I just say that I am the voicemail or i'm all ready to write it down.

Also, I cannot see half of my co-workers because they actually work in a totally separate office but in the same building. So when people ask for them, I say that 'i'll see if they're in', buzz them, and if they don't answer I flip back over and ask to take a message and 8 out of 10 times I have to listen to a joke about them avoiding their call or a serious annoyance that they aren't there. They could be taking a dump or off for the day, I have no idea.

Our worst client is my boss' brother, because he thinks it's cool to walk into the back and give my co-workers shiitake over his displeasure with the way a job went, when my boss isn't there. We actually started closing the door between the lobby area and the back because of this, but it doesn't lock so instead of taking the hint, he just went right back and started bothering them anyway. (to his credit, my boss is not cool with this and told them to tell him to fork right off, because no other clients get to walk back and bisque at them, that's what my boss is there for, to take any and all bisqueing).

_________________"The Tree is His Penis"

The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear

Ugh, I get so pissed off at customers who can't wait their turn. I try to give really good customer service and that means personal attention to each customer. Yesterday, someone had asked me a question and I was helping them when another customer interrupted and said "I have a question about a book". I told her I'd be with her in a moment when I was done with the customer I was busy with and she said "but it's just a question!" So I said, "I'm helping this gentleman with his question first. I'll be right with you." and she stormed off in a huff. shiitake like this happens all the time: people jumping ahead of a long line to "just ask a question" when a lot of people in that line are also waiting to just ask questions. Or people who think that "just asking a question" somehow trumps paying for books when paying for books actually is a fairly quick and straightforward process and answering a question quite often takes more time/research/attention.

So annoying! I was a customer next in line at a shop recently and this guy barged up behind me and started asking the guy who was about serve ME, who was NEXT in line, his own question, so I interrupted him and said: "Excuse me, I'm next."And the intrusive customer looked at me and said "I only want to ask a question!"And I replied: "That's all I'm doing," and he fell back in line behind me and waited his turn and glared daggers into the back of my head for his own rudeness as I went on with my turn. D'oh. Dude what makes your question so much more special than mine? Wait your turn.

We have the odd wild card, usually pensioners who are anxious that they must be the very first person onto the double decker bus.

If the UK is at all like the States, they may just be worried that entitled, able-bodied jerks will take all the seats.

I witnessed a woman stand dumbly in the designated wheelchair area on a BART train this morning as a woman in a wheelchair boarded and then proceeded to maneuver around in the tiny space that was left to her.

No. I ride the bus to work 6 days a week and people are generally good at manoeuvering out the way to allow space for people with buggies and/or the differently abled. I am frequently shoved out the way by pensioners who MUST GET ON THE BUS FIRST. I've actually been shoved onto the bus by rowdy bolshie "I am a gran! I'll live forever!" types. As in, they will actually damn near fist me onto the bus. You do not mess with a Glasgow gran.

_________________#sexysocialism

"I will take a drugged, sex-crazed, punk rock commie over Mrs. Thatch any day of the week" - Vantine