Life. Moves. On.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life...it goes on."- Robert Frost

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"It eventually gets better, without any sort of explanation; one day you realize that you're no longer upset. You're no longer mad, hurt, or bothered by the things that took so much of your energy and thoughts. You will find yourself in a peaceful place and enjoy that feeling."

Time is a powerful healer. Trust the timing of your life. Trust that life is on your side. Trust that things happen for a reason. Trust in the journey. Trust in your destiny. Trust that your heart will always get you through. You’re stronger than you know, wiser than you know, and worth more than you’ll ever feel. Keep rising above everything that feels heavy. Your time here on earth isn’t promised, but you are admired, needed, and loved more than you know. Keep your head up, beautiful. You’re going to get through this. Promise.

"The woman you are becoming will cost you people, relationships, spaces, and material things...

Choose her over everthing."

Have you ever looked back at a string of events to realize none of it was random? That everything that led you to your current situation was necessary for you to endure...the good, the bad, the ugly. Some events are meant to teach you to be appreciative, some for you to learn your worth, and sometimes to teach you who isn’t worth it. Nonetheless, they always teach you something. I’ve recently realized something interesting that has occurred in my life and that is a pattern. Yup, a string of events that occurred twice that have brought me full-circle. What I can tell you from these events is that I am extremely glad that some things didn’t work out the way I once wanted them to. Had they have been mine before, I probably would not have valued them like I do today. I’m in a different mindset, different place in my life to realize the value of things better. Like good people. With time, maturity, and greater life lessons, you begin to realize who’s worth it, who never was, and who will always be. Thankful for the lessons...always.

DON'T LET THEM MAKE YOU FEEL BAD FOR FEELING A WAY ABOUT SOME FUCKED UP SHIT THEY DID.

I’ve learned that it’s important to forgive people who’ve wronged you. Forgiveness is something you do for you. It’s something that opens space in your heart to heal. It’s something that helps eliminate carrying baggage with you. Forgiving isn’t something you do for others. It’s for you. To get to it, though, it takes time. It needs to be done on your own time...in whatever way you feel good in. For me, forgiving didn’t come easy. It took a lot of reading, writing, hikes, therapy sessions, music, and time with nature to mend the parts of me that were broken. It took lots of reading to understand why people do things. I think this is when I began to forgive, truthfully. It was never because I got a “sorry.” It was never because I had an aha moment. It was never because of them. It was because I was tired of letting someone who no longer was in my life dictate my choices, feelings, and happiness. That’s forgiveness, love. It’s forgiving yourself, too. No one is perfect and your journey was especially designed to bring you from one page of your book to another. Just do me a favor and be ok with living life on your own terms. Go against what’s expected of you. Don’t give in to bullshit people and their bullshit stories of how you should feel, be or should have handled anything. You did what was right at the time and what was right for you. That’s all that matters anyway.

I can't believe the year is coming close to an end. I typically like to do my reflection of the year on these last few days and am fortunate to have the time. This year, like the last few has been challenging, but in a fabulous way. In result, I am wiser, stronger and better than I was. In short, I would say the greatest thing I am taking from 2015 is the ability to say I’m not afraid of hurting others anymore. This sounds awful, but hear me out. In the past, I often found that I would compensate my own feelings for the sake of others. I did this by doing things so they wouldn’t be uncomfortable, realizing that this cost me my own sanity. You cannot live your life for others- you HAVE to put you first. You will lose a lot of people along the way, you will hurt some and you will have to change. When I found a better business opportunity for myself, I took it by the horn without fearing of hurting my boss. When I found that certain people were bringing toxicity into my life, I removed myself from the situation. The old me wouldn’t have done this. She’d feel guilty. That’s not fair to you. YOU deserve anything you want in your life and the only way to have it is to go out and get it. I hope if you haven’t already found it, that you find what it is you need and you go and get it.

Happy Holidays, love. Here’s to a better you because if you’re not learning, you’re not growing.

Yesterday, I was saddened to hear that a dear member of our family passed away. This lady was one of the few people who welcomed my father and uncle when they moved to the U.S. They've always told me sweet stories of how she reminded them of their mother. Each time I saw her, there was something undeniably noticeable which was that her husband was smittened with her. One of my favorite memories is catching him taking a selfie with her and in Farsi saying, "This is going to be a keeper for the books." After years of having children, grandchildren, marriages, sickness, and health, their love shined through anyone who came across them. To me, life is not so much about the years you've lived as it is about the legacy you leave behind. As said before, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel..." Thank you for teaching us that love is eternal and lives on even after we are gone. Life is short. Take selfies with your loved ones.

In a recent interview, Khloe Kardashian admitted to forever loving Lamar. I admired her so much more after hearing her say, “…and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.” I admire her because she isn’t afraid to admit something so many people want her to deny- the raw, aching truth. It still hurts. There is no endpoint for healing. Some of us never heal, we just cope differently. Some of us don’t forget, we just don’t remember as often. Some of us don’t miss them, but miss the memories. There is no right or wrong way to grief, but there is one right way to heal and that is to be honest with yourself. I notice that so often after a breakup, we are afraid to miss, want, or desire those no longer with us- especially if they’ve hurt us. The truth is, we are OWN biggest critics. Our fear of being judged for our emotions tend to cause us to ignore them and deny them, resulting in greater anxiety down the line. I know it’s easier said than done sometimes, but you have to learn to stop faking it until you make it. Know your truth and don’t deny it. Know it hurts and be ok with it. Be ok with the fact that you’re still healing and every now and then, you miss them. Never apologize for what you feel. It’s like saying sorry for being real. It’s ok not to be ok. Life moves on, but at your own pace.

Grieving takes time and it's never smooth sailing. Grieving does not have a time frame and does not have an expiration date. There is no sudden moment that it's over or that you're done. The truth is you may never stop grieving because that's the price you pay when you love with your heart. The reality of grieving is tiresome because it hits you when you least expect it- like passing by something that had no significance of the person, yet missing them or the holidays.

Those tend to hurt most, but especially the random memories that pop in your mind and bring you back to a place and time. Missing someone who's gone hurts whether they're gone by choice or without- you miss them, who they were, the memories, the could have beens. It's ok to let those feelings come and let them move in and out from you so that you can feel the natural durations of grief. Because in the end, no matter how shitty things are or feel or seem, you know it'll go by - because it always does. Don't get lost in the pain. It'll come back, but the pain lessens each time. Promise.

Grieving takes time and it's never smooth sailing. Grieving does not have a time frame and does not have an expiration date. There is no sudden moment that it's over or that you're done. The truth is you may never stop grieving because that's the price you pay when you love with your heart. The reality of grieving is tiresome because it hits you when you least expect it- like passing by something that had no significance of the person, yet missing them or the holidays. Those tend to hurt most, but especially the random memories that pop in your mind and bring you back to a place and time. Missing someone who's gone hurts whether they're gone by choice or without- you miss them, who they were, the memories, the could have beens. It's ok to let those feelings come and let them move in and out from you so that you can feel the natural durations of grief. Because in the end, no matter how shitty things are or feel or seem, you know it'll go by - because it always does. Don't get lost in the pain. It'll come back, but the pain lessens each time. Promise.

Not sure if I agree with this so much. I think true foregivneess has nothing to do with thanking your experience. When you have cancer, you don't thank the cancer. You thank the strength you had when you overcame it. You thank the people who were there, but never cancer. Cancer is the devil- and sometimes so is the past, if it didn't make you better. Sometimes the thing that makes you better is YOU. The choice you made to better yourself- to not stay bitter, to grow, and overcome the pain. The real hero is you. You made the choice to let your past make you better, not bitter. It was all you, darling. As for who to thank, thank your heart. It's forgiving. It's pure. Don't change.