It seems we are always hearing how important focus is to reaching our goals and bringing our desires to us. However, sometimes our focus is totally off. We work hard, do what we think we should, spin our wheels, and run faster on the hamster wheel, only to remain stagnant.

Why do you suppose this is? Well, one possibility is that when we are determining our focus, our brains are actually numb. If you want to read a funny story that illustrates this point, go here.

While somewhat “asleep” we are fully intent and focused on carrying out our daily lives, getting to the “other side”, even attempting to achieve goals or dreams.

Sometimes, our minds and hearts have become numb and we are making decisions based on survival, rather than fully living.I’ll share with you 5 reasons I think we become numb, and 4 ideas of how to awaken in my article here.

I hope you will read it and take to heart the joy of living fully alive!

Can you imagine, and perhaps you really can, what it is like to experience that first, heart-exploding realization that someone actually loves you completely? Loves you without boundaries or restraint, regardless of your brokenness, emotional issues, and the truckloads of psychological stuff you carry with you? It is addictive to say the least.

Your mind returns again and again to thoughts of that person who loves you so unconditionally. Why? Because it feels marvelous. The endorphin rush you feel each time you realize that someone can actually love YOU (and all your quirkiness, your faults, and your issues that seem to make you relationally dysfunctional) is likened to that of a chemical rush to your brain.

Unconditional love is just that, no conditions attached. You are loved just because you are YOU. Not what you do. Not because of how good you are or how you look or sound or smell. Just because you are that amazing and unique package of YOU. Someone finds delight in the person of you. That is heady stuff…and you want more.

I am blessed to have experienced this. For the first time in my life, no matter how weird I got, or dysfunctional, or disappointing I was, I was loved completely. This person didn’t see a need to change or reform me, to control my loud, hyper personality, my neediness, or insecurity. In fact, just the opposite happened. My new love actually celebrated and enjoyed the real me, told me wonderful things about myself I had not realized. And so, I became……addicted.

We have heard the phrases “addicted to love” and “love addiction”, and come to find out there is scientific truth to them. According to results found in a study done in 2000,

” The f(functional)MRI study also discovered that the part of brain associated with addiction was activated when participants were viewing pictures of the people they were in love with. This area is comprised of a very high concentration of dopamine receptors, a neurotransmitter which, among other things, is related to addiction. And certainly it is true that love and addiction bear some important similarities.”

(The article goes on to speak about obsessive compulsion and acting a bit batty, but I’m trying to ignore those.)

This kind of love and acceptance brings a dopamine rush and can be full-out addicting! Love is indeed a wonderful “feel good” drug!

I’ve always been afraid to be completely real, somehow feeling that I wouldn’t be liked for who I really am. I’m pretty sure I became a people-pleaser while still in the womb, but that is a story for later. So when I was fully and completely accepted, with joy no less, it was a wonderful and beautiful balm to my wounded spirit. A balm that began to heal and nourish and “give my heart wings” enough to venture out of my self-imposed survival mode (which felt very much like a box). The fear of what others would think about me, how they would regard my true personality, began to fall away in the face of such acceptance and enjoyment of me.

We are told that God has this kind of love for us but it’s hard to conceive if we’ve never experienced it. However, to receive unconditional love from a person, with skin on, someone we see, talk with and touch, gives us a much clearer picture of His love for us.

(Sidenote: Aside from romantic love, your unconditional love for people in your life can transform them. You can love unconditionally, celebrate uniqueness, and love the person for who they are, and no other reason. You can set someone’s heart free and give them the gift of believing in themselves.)

I hope that if you haven’t yet, you will experience this kind of unconditional love. We all deserve it. I didn’t think I did. I settled for the other kind. It hurt. It stifled. It closed me up. But this kind of love? This love set me free.

Do yourself and others a favor. Practice unconditional love. Your own life will be richer for it.

Thanks for stopping by. I’d love it if you’d share. And leave a comment, would you please? I never know if anyone reads my posts. 🙂

Like this:

Can you imagine, and perhaps you really can, what it is like to experience that first, heart-blowing realization that someone actually loves you completely? Loves you without boundaries or restraint, regardless of your brokenness, emotional issues, and the truckloads of psychological stuff you carry with you? It is addictive to say the least. Your mind returns again and again to thoughts of that person who loves you so unconditionally. Why? Because it feels marvelous. The endorphin rush you feel each time you realize that someone can actually love YOU (and all your quirkiness, your faults, and your issues that seem to make you relationally dysfunctional) is likened to that of a chemical rush to your brain.

Unconditional love is just that, no conditions attached. You are loved just because you are YOU. Not what you do. Not because of how good you are or how you look or sound or smell. Just because you are that amazing and unique package of YOU. Someone finds delight in the person of you. That is heady stuff…and you want more.

I am blessed to have experienced this. For the first time in my life, no matter how weird I got, or dysfunctional, or disappointing I was, I was loved completely. This person didn’t see a need to change or reform me, to control my loud, hyper personality, my neediness, or insecurity. In fact, just the opposite happened. My new love actually celebrated and enjoyed the real me, told me wonderful things about myself I had not known. And so, I became……addicted.

We have heard the phrases “addicted to love” and “love addiction”, and come to find out there is scientific truth to them. According to results found in a study done in 2000,

” The f(functional)MRI study also discovered that the part of brain associated with addiction was activated when participants were viewing pictures of the people they were in love with. This area is comprised of a very high concentration of dopamine receptors, a neurotransmitter which, among other things, is related to addiction. And certainly it is true that love and addiction bear some important similarities.”

(The article goes on to speak about obsessive compulsion and acting a bit batty, but I’m trying to ignore those.)

This kind of love and acceptance brings a dopamine rush and can be full-out addicting! Love is indeed a wonderful “feel good” drug!

I’ve always been afraid to be completely real, somehow feeling that I wouldn’t be liked for who I really am. I’m pretty sure I became a people-pleaser while still in the womb, but that is a story for later. So when I was fully and completely accepted, with joy no less, it was a wonderful and beautiful balm to my wounded spirit. A balm that began to heal and nourish and “give my heart wings” enough to venture out of my self-imposed survival mode (which felt very much like a box). The fear of what others would think about me, how they would regard my true personality, began to fall away in the face of such acceptance and enjoyment of me.

We are told that God has this kind of love for us–actually because His is a sacrificial love, it’s way better–but it’s hard to even conceive. However, to experience unconditional love in a person, with skin on, someone we see, talk with and touch, gives us a much clearer picture.

I hope that if you haven’t yet, you will experience this kind of unconditional love. We all deserve it. I didn’t think I did. I settled for the other kind. It hurt. It stifled. It closed me up. But this kind of love? This love set me free.

An unconditional love can completely transform our hearts.

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I love stories. I love to tell stories. I love to read stories. I’m a voracious reader. And I seriously struggle with non-fiction unless it’s written in a storyteller-like way.

When I was teaching elementary school I turned everything I could into a story. I knew that it was the best way I learned, and figured my students could benefit too. Now there is research to prove it. This Is Your Brain. This Is Your Brain On Fiction. Yay! Right on Mrs. Matthews!

I remember a particularly difficult year (a very long time ago–like 1990?) that I taught a 5/6 split. Whew, I thought I was gonna split! My fifth grade class was learning American history–hiSTORY, get it? So, I turned it all into a story, putting in way more details and facts than the textbook did. Now that was a fun way to teach, and my kids learned it much better than memorizing dates and places. And I didn’t feel like snoozing as one more kid “read out loud” from the book! (I put my own “spin” on it, so I’d classify my stories then as Historical Fiction. What do you think?)

It makes me feel really good to know that all my guilty-pleasure-reading (fiction, honey!!) is serving a major purpose keeping my brain active and healthy. YAY!! Grow those dendrites!!

My only difficulty is that once I start a good book I struggle to put it down. When I know there are a lot of things I need to do, I hesitate to pick one up….because the dishes stay dirty and pile up, kids forage for their own food, my desk keeps piling higher with mail, bills, to dos, and all the things I remove from the kitchen so we have room to eat. Mysteries and forensic novels intrigue me. If it’s well-written, I usually don’t figure out “whodunnit”, and my brain keeps trying to. I really, really want to read the ending so I can just relax, for Pete’s sake! That reader’s anxiety is tough! But I can usually control myself–unless it’s so well-written that I need a Xanax, and have to put myself out of my misery!

And by the way, I doubt I will have an electronic reading device any time soon. Yep, I’m a sensory person. I like the feel of holding a book, turning the page, the smell of books, and the progress of the bookmark. AND seeing how much is left until I know how it ends!

Ok, well this has been your Public Service Announcement on this Friday in the frigid north, where in the last 24 hours we have had snow, rain, sunshine, freezing, and no school (for the umpteenth time). Sounds like a really good day to stay inside and READ! Oh Sanity, where art thou?

Y’all stay warm and have a great day. If your brain is feeling foggy, mushy, and in need of new dendrites, take a trip to the library, where books are free. There is a wealth of them. And you can touch, smell, hold, and flip pages as much as your heart desires.

Let me know if you are reading anything of interest right now. I have six novels on my bookshelf calling my name! So, you may not hear from me for a while. 🙂

Love and hugs,

Passionista Mimi

OH, and hey, if you like what you read, why not share the love and click, pin, like, etc.? I’d give you an extra big hug. Thanks!