Posted:5th Apr 2014you get ice cream but are told you arent allowed to eat it or there will be dire consequences. you wait a couple of days, fighting temptation, but it looks so yummy and the mysterious nature of it not melting slowly causes you to start going a lil crazy, obssessing over it even in your dreams until you eventually cant fight temptation anymore and dive head first into it and eat it all. afterwards you feel awesome (if a lil ashamed that you dived head first into it) but soon you notice that the taste and smell of the ice cream hasnt left hours after you ate it, you then start getting a brainfreeze headache which builds and builds until you cant even see anymore eventually it makes its way through your nervous system until you feel like your blood has turned to snow. in desperation you grab a set of fire poi and start spinning like a lunatic but you cant feel the warmth anymore and so you shout louder than youve ever shouted 'why did i wish for ice cream!!!' repeatedly for hours until your eardrums cant take it any more. You then become a legend in your hometown as 'that crazy guy who wont stop shouting about ice cream' but you never know as all your senses have been doomed to feel the effects of the ice cream for the rest of your days.

i wish i could just sit down and work instead of wandering the interwebz writing slightly-strange comments

I dont want to be called 'the greatest' or 'one of the greats'; let other guys claim to be the best. I just want to be known as a clown, to me thats the height of my profession. It means you can do everything-sing, dance, and above all, make people laugh

Posted:2nd May 2014youre in luck! you win the lotto and can now spend all your time spinning without worrying about earning money!! BUT people start showing up everywhere you go looking for money everytime you try to learn a new trick and wont leave until youve forgotten what the trick even is as despite you saying no they stay and when you do give them money they decide to spend the rest of the day saying thank you and asking "what are these?" and "why are you playing with these when you could be living somewhere nicer?". eventually you give in and decide to move to a desert island so you can spin in peace but once you get there you find that youve forgotten your poi so go in search of things to make more out of only to discover that the only thing on the island is sand

i wish that cables wouldnt inexplicably tie themselves into knots when im not looking

I dont want to be called 'the greatest' or 'one of the greats'; let other guys claim to be the best. I just want to be known as a clown, to me thats the height of my profession. It means you can do everything-sing, dance, and above all, make people laugh

Posted:3rd May 2014people stop asking and just come up and take them off you

i wish i had more popcorn

I dont want to be called 'the greatest' or 'one of the greats'; let other guys claim to be the best. I just want to be known as a clown, to me thats the height of my profession. It means you can do everything-sing, dance, and above all, make people laugh

Posted:12th May 2014granted; you get no sleep or time to eat/drink/socialise and most importantly spin!

i wish my mobile hadnt died

I dont want to be called 'the greatest' or 'one of the greats'; let other guys claim to be the best. I just want to be known as a clown, to me thats the height of my profession. It means you can do everything-sing, dance, and above all, make people laugh

Posted:29th May 2014the project never gets completed. by you.someone random absconds with it and gets all credit for your work, becoming a millionaire leaving you...

I wish thaaaaaaaatt......I had invented poi and was world famous for being the coolest spinner on the planet. 'cept I already know that's not gonna work.. hmmm...I wish that the grocery store still sold liquorice tea.

Posted:29th May 2014you invent 'uber poi' and become world famous as it is that cool, but you get bored of being in the limelight all the time so decide to buy a grocery store and sell liqourice tea, unfortunately your stardom continues and you end up getting fans coming in all the time who dont buy anything and keep surrounding you so you are unable to sell anything and soon go out of business. in an attempt to make back some money you decide to try to combine your uber poi and liqourice tea but through a large LED and firey explosion-filled accident you end up getting a serious head injury and forget everything about poi, tea and even what the planet is

*has been up a while so might not have made any sense*

i wish i had a lot more energy than i do right now

*drinks more coffee*

I dont want to be called 'the greatest' or 'one of the greats'; let other guys claim to be the best. I just want to be known as a clown, to me thats the height of my profession. It means you can do everything-sing, dance, and above all, make people laugh

Posted:2nd Jun 2014Granted!! You suddenly feel super and energetic from that cup of coffee. You realise after a 6 hours that you're still fully energetic and can continue running and exerting energy for hours in a row non-stop. Wow!! Amazing you can do anything and complete anything without feeling tired!!

Night time comes and you can't sleep. Because of this your brain can't convert short-term memory to long term. Everyday you go out feeling, thinking it's still today. You never learn anything new and you can't remember the day before. The years go by and you still think you're you that day until one day you stop and look in the mirror... You're old and wrinkly. You go insane and get admitted to a Sanitarium.