Wasn’t that like…months ago? Shouldn’t we have had this post before, you whisper?

Well. I ran away from blogging for a month or two and I missed my June wrap-up and I’m should be sent to the book blogger guillotine now. NOW! I missed July and I might have missed June and I don’t even know what’s what anymore. IT’S ALL PAIN.

1. I bought/received sixteen books this past May + June (though I returned two to pick up different editions this month, so do they count???? Yes???) AND I STILL HAVEN’T SHARED THEM IN A HAUL POST YET. There’s a problem here.
2. I NEED TO CATCH UP.
3. I’ve been promising a post like this since May. MAY. I need to deliver now.
4. I’m a good girl, so I will.
5. There’s not going to be a smooth transition so just roll with me

It’s been five months since I read Shadow and Bone and I’ve finally read the sequel. I like to be vile and unpredictable and!! I find a lot of joy in waiting as long as I possibly can to read a book WRITTEN BY MY FAVORITE AUTHOR.

Yeah, that was a lie.

The truth is that I’m lazy and irrational and I’d rather fall into a bowl of soup than admit it. MY BAD DECISIONS NEED TO GO AND HAUNT SOMEONE ELSE.

WOW. It’s been a while since our last quote. #SHAME. I’m pretty excited because I get to post my favorite Bardugo quote today. It’s crazy long, but it’s probably the deepest quote I’ve read by her, and it really hit me hard. LIKE A TON OF BRICKS ON MY FACE. Fun.

It’s the second of July. 2017 IS MORE THAN HALFWAY GONE. That means we’re due for a nostalgic discussion of the best books I’ve read this year. Muahahahaha I FEEL POWERFUL. (Ignore that. You’re gonna be fineeee.)

If I wanted a book about a bitter, sadistic, traumatized Revenge Chick, a bitter, less-obviously freaky, just-as-traumatized Revenge Dude, and a REALLY OBVIOUSLY VENGEFUL Dude 2, I probably would’ve been climbing bookcases to get to this book but I would also probably need counseling and a really good doctor/psychiatrist/general HELP.

“Oh hey, all your favorite characters aren’t going to be in this one, mate. We’re just going to throw them out the window and WATCH THEM FALL AND LAUGH AND TAKE PICTURES while we shove some new fellows in your way. Pretend to like them, ok?”

Mhm, yeah, that’s every bookworms’ favorite situation. AND THAT’S WHAT MY BRAIN WAS SCREAMING AT ME. SCREAMING!! LIKE THIS!! WHICH IS RUDE!! INVASIVE!! TERRIFYING!! Thank the books above that everything my brain tells me is a lie. Yes, that’s it. I’ve disintegrated into a puddle of shame. RIP ME.

nothing but the best

don’t be a jerk.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication (word piracy!! argh!!) of this material without express and written permission from this Marie Herself™ is strictly prohibited. Be nice and stay original or be smashed by multiple, large bookcases.