Troubling your mind with the past issues in present is like serving once bad cooked dish every day.

Few days back I met a gentleman who is not talking to his father for last 10 years. e dearly loves his father but something happened 10 years back which had hurt him so much that he did not talk to him for sometime. He did not want to become it a lifetime issue but later on ego started coming in between and they did not talk for years. He wanted to but could not and this pushed him into severe depression. I asked him to simply go and meet his father and share his heart out. He was not ready as he said he can't let this happen. His wife was along and I asked him, what if your wife makes a burnt dish and no one eats it, so it is still there. So next day she again serves you, how would you feel? The taste would be spoiled today too. What if she keeps serving you same thing every day and also every day it will be further rotten. The point is, if something bad has happened in the past does not mean that it has to be served today too. You simply need to throw it away. You need to let it go. You need to release it and forgive everything. You need to forgive yourself, the situation and the people involved.

You need to understand we all are nice human beings and sometimes out of few circumstances we might not act as per others expectations. But if we keep holding the pain inside, we spoil our relationships, our own lives and we put a burden on the other person too. So we need to simply release everything. He realized same and went and discussed with his father. He just opened his heart and all what he had been feeling in past 10 years. His father was also holding many things and they both shared. They both loved each other and were in tremendous pain. They cried and hugged each other. It resolved many things and his health also improved tremendously after that.

I often wonder if we are victim of own pain. We do not want to release pain. We like to hold our pains, we want to share and then we want to prove that others have been bad and I have been good. We want people to sympathize and who fails to sympathize, we feel that person was not our well wisher. So much for holding onto pain! But whatever has happened has happened and we cant undo it. If we cant change it, why do we have to spoil our present and future with it. If something is bothering you, go and take an action on it.

Go and discuss everything with your loved ones without accusing anyone. Just simply accept the things and how you have felt. If you have felt bad does not mean the other person has to be wrong.

Forgive yourself and everyone involved. Like you had been telling yourself that the other person was bad to you, similarly tell yourself that you release everything now and you forgive yourself and the other person. Create a better life and that can happen only when you put your focus on creating a better life.