Choose the best time

The best time to debate with your family members is dinner time, when they have food stuck in their mouths. It is rude to speak with your mouth full, everyone knows that.

Dinner time is the time when everyone sits down together around the dining table and behave extremely well, as good as angels.

This is the best time to negotiate with them, discuss problems and get them to listen to you instead of bickering with each other, pushing the blame to one another is their bad habit.

When they are eating, with food in their mouth, they either had to agree to your commands or just keep mum until they had finished their meal.

With food in your kids mouth, they can’t rebuke your instructions, answer back (talk back )to your questions, push the blame to one another ( the usual phrase: not me, I didn’t do it ), give lots of excuses ( another usual excuse: I am busy, got work to do, etc )

Debating with your family members

Kids and teens aren’t stupid and they are not naive as you were during your young days.

They are clever, witty and sly ( Do I sound very bad ?) but these are the truth.

Instruct your kids to perform a simple task and they will give you lots of excuses to avoid it.

They are smart.

When you are not looking, your kids will be doing something else that they shouldn’t do ( SMS, playing video games, Facebook , online chatting, etc ).

Once you give out your instructions, they will give you lots of excuses that you can’t disagree ( homework, projects, workload).

When will we ever outsmart our own kids?Dinner time, when they have food in their mouths, no way to answer back!

Do as I command!

Words from the author

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Comments

I am wondering whether you actually understand the meaning of the word "debate"?

Debating is not issuing instructions, it is also explaining why the instructions are being given and listening to any reasons as to why so doing might cause a problem.

Debating is a two-way process of give and take, during which it might well be discovered that there is a better way of solving the problem at hand.

An instruction should never be given in such a way that the person being instructed does not understand the reason behind it. Where children are concerned, they must always be able to sense the fairness of what is being asked of them, because there is nothing a person (of any age) hates more than being treated unfairly.

yes, I understand what you meant. In case you haven't read my article, I had mentioned "discuss, negotiate, understand" my instruction given. Nobody would listen to a tiger mum. I am not a unreasonable mum. Kids wanted to be treated fairly, so do mums. Thanks for your sharing your comments. Appreciated

I enjoyed your article, peachpurple.I am a mother and teacher so i know how well most of our smart loving children are in the art of giving excuses lol. My kids love their food so much, i do not think they hear when they are at the dinner table.

Having conversation at dinner is good but debates can become fights if people are not fair. A debate is usually something like one person says rodeos are fine, and has reasons, and another person says rodeos are cruel, and has reasons, and both sides talk back and forth making their points.

Do schools still have Debating Societies? The grammar school I attended in the 1960s encouraged us to develop proper debating skills in which cases for and against motions were developed and attacked in a civilised and tolerant environment. Learning these skills can be hugely beneficial in private as well as public life.