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Freaking Out

Maybe the title is a bit overzealous but honestly I’m starting to freak out a bit. I noticed it on Thursday when my to do list seemed to be a bit unmanageable and every little thing was putting me on edge. Then on Friday when I was a little too terse with Marc. Then on Saturday when I set out for my ride, I noticed that I was having a serious case of crazy brain.

So yes, I’m starting to freak out a bit. The cyclo-cross season is less than a week away and I really just am a bundle of nerves. This is not good. I need to keep up my confidence and remember all the handwork I’ve done to get here. I guess I just so badly want to return to the racing form I’ve had in the past and truly convince myself that last year was a mere blip on the surface. I also need to keep my stress down because stress is a trigger for my ulcerative colitis.

But still, I’m freaking out a bit. I’ve been looking at start lists (should never ever do this) and have been thinking about the race courses. But what I really need to do is just be. Ride my bike. Keep learning. And remember that I am more than ready.

It is so hard to keep the emotions in check. I like to think I’m not the only one who is in this strange state right now. I was super inspired to see Catharine Pendrel win the Mountain Bike World Championships yesterday. I met Catharine at cyclo-cross nationals last year and she is just a super friendly and cool person. Amazing to learn that in her first World Mountain Bike Championships she was 46th and now she is World Champion!

So my big goal and focus for this week is to keep things real. No crazy thoughts about the upcoming races. No stressing about start lists and courses. I’m just going to really relish this time of my life – heck I’m super lucky to be able to do this and I can’t forget this. I’m ready. I’m prepared. I’ll do what I can and enjoy it. (But still this can be hard to remember.)

My friend Sheri sent me this quote and I really think it is the perfect theme for the week (perhaps the season):You are better than you think you are. You can do more than you think you can.

“But still, I’m freaking out a bit. I’ve been looking at start lists (should never ever do this) and have been thinking about the race courses. But what I really need to do is just be. Ride my bike. Keep learning. And remember that I am more than ready.”

Yup. Second race of the season (but really the kickoff) for me on Sunday. Just looked at the lists and the stupid race predictor, and am also freaking out. We are both ready. We have both worked hard, and WE CAN DO IT! Let’s go out and ride our bikes – that is, after all, what we love. I will channel you on Sunday 🙂