HigginsNo one could live with themselves, knowing that their community had been devastated by a character from Magnum P.I.

IkebanaNaming a storm after the Japanese art of flower arrangement seems poetic, but highbrow.

JehoshaphatThough the headlines would be pretty good.

KikiBecause “kiki” is a slang term — in both French and Tagalog, I think — for “tiny penis”. Don’t ask how I know such things, just go with it.

LachrymosiaSeriously: back in the day, I knew a girl who adopted this as her name. She wore a lot of black, which shouldn’t surprise anyone.

ManderleyThough a very good friend has named his house that. I’ve a very good mind to name ours Mrs. Danvers.

NanookBecause hurricanes are hot, not icy.

OzymandiasSpeaking of highbrow, right?

PantagruelThough the idea of the broadcasters trying to get that one out of their mouths makes me smile. “Hurricane Panda…Pantera…Plantagenet…oh hell: storm’s a-comin’!”

QueleaBecause in the entire history of Western Civilization, I don’t think anyone has named a child “Quelea” — even though it’s my favorite bird and the most abundant on Planet Earth (though in flocks of over a billion, they can destroy crops very quickly). If you’ve never seen them in action, behold.

VendettaAlthough it would be badass. And Margaret Orr could draw a little mustache on the hurricane map.

Wilson-PhillipsBecause enough is e-freaking-nough.

XtopherBecause the Xtians would start whining again, and we just got them quieted down after the whole “Titania” debacle.

YaqueteriaA fictional character from some very early Varla Jean Merman videos. Hilarious, but fictional nonetheless. (And so “very early Varla” that they haven’t yet made the transition from wax cylinder to YouTube.)

ZedBecause, as Mr. Willis once said, Zed’s dead.

* * * * *

And in case you’re wondering about this year’s official names, they are:

Photos

Recent Comments

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