Archives

Providing employee assistance services for corporations for over 20 years has enabled me to make some observations of how athletics, in junior or senior high school levels help women in both their business and personal lives. This is particularly true for women in management positions. Both in sessions, and in corporate consultations, I routinely ask women about any background in athletics during their adolescent development.

How does it help them? I have seen five ways in which the participation in athletics directly relates to benefits later on in their lives.

First of all whenever personal crises, addictive habits, or a job burnout creates difficulty with mood and energy, a woman who has previously been in athletics, can return to that part of her life's discipline as a way to you begin to get unstuck and recover from this difficulty. They remember the experience of a workout which leaves them pleasantly fatigued, perspiring. Then after experiencing a cleansing shower, getting dressed, the world looks better to them. That is when an individual's brain chemistry is at its best.

Secondly, the experience of putting aside personal differences to work together as a part of a team with other women toward some common goal translates well later on when group projects require teamwork without seeing every other woman as a competitor.

Too often, I have observed women's management styles emulate that of mothers bossing children, giving two kinds of feedback to subordinates – none and negative. The experience of relating to coaches and being coached translates into a management style that provides coaching, teaching, mentoring, encouragement, as well as a matter-of-fact focus on performance expectations. Lack of performance is not seen as a personal affront, but a challenge the subordinate must master.

Being able to push through the hard places in life is a fourth benefit from athletic experiences. There are two sports, more than the others, which breed a certain mental discipline and toughness for experiences later in life: Track and swimming.

“Why these two sports?” you ask. Think of what is involved in the training; hours of solitude, without applause or encouragement, pushing yourself to do your personal best.

Your body says, “This is really getting uncomfortable. I want to quit.” But your mind overrides the body with, "You will not quit. You will keep going. You are not quitting before you're done.”

Later in life, this experience helps women see themselves through difficulties in both their career and family situations, helping them to push through and finish projects that others would simply neglect or give up on.Body image issues are greatly minimized when an athlete has spent a time in dialogue with her own body through training and participation in sports. Later on, it makes it much easier for her to return to this dialogue through workout activities in a more productive and friendly way rather than seeing it as a negative contested struggle against her own body.

In my work with families and adolescents, I do promote the notion that it is important for girls at this age to experience some form of athletic endeavor. It pays great mental, physical and psychological benefits for the rest of their lives.

These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.

Inertia – that sense of stuckness that plagues us all from time to time- is a common complaint for clients that want a better life. Inertia is a term that comes from physics describing the motion, or non-motion, of a body of mass. Newton’s first law of motion states, “A body at rest tends to remain at rest unless acted upon by an outside force.” “I know what I should be doing, but I just can’t seem to make myself get up and do it.” Or “There are so many things I need to pay attention to, I just don’t know where to start.”Usually, my approach for men is different from that of women. For men, the most common approach is to get them to begin by organizing, or clearing up, or caring for some of the spaces in their lives. This can include their vehicle,(usually a good place for them to start), their home office, yard, garage, tools, or even just their sock drawer. To have men organize and care for some territory they have acquired or reign over touches some more primitive masculine archetypal place in the psyche. To master some these neglected areas frees up energy for other tasks. So for many men, it is a great symbolic place to start. For women, whose focus is more on “inner space” and relatedness, the approach to stuckness is often to return the focus to the relationship with the body. This becomes one of the primary relationships for women when separating from the mother. To become one’s own mother requires conscious focus for it is too easy to neglect adequately nurturing all of what the body and soul needs in the process of attending to the needs of the others in one’s life. “Start with your body.” is what I often tell women. “Begin by focusing on the relationship with your own body.” That can include paying attention to everything the body needs including proper rest and sleep. It includes making conscious choices as to everything you put into your body; water, oxygen, food, drink, men, nutrients, etc. “Start here.” is my mantra for most women. Movement, physical movement, for everyone is essential. Walking outside is usually my preferred place to start - in nature. Outside light is the best antidote for what some describe as “Seasonal Affective DisorderNewton’s second law of motion, “ A body in motion tends to remain in motion unless acted upon by an outside force” now comes into play. Mastering just one fundamental task energizes the whole being to take on the next best challenge.

.”

These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.

“Yes, Newton, the world has speeded up for everyone. And, No, Newton, you will not get it all done.” This is what I tell the businessman and his assistant in the hall as we stop to chat this week. “People in all walks of life are having that same experience. They feel just like you do. Their “to do” list grows each week. They complain of working longer hours just to keep up the demands of the job. Whoever they answer to expects more of them. “The trend of ever increasing work demands seems particularly true for those working in the private sector or self employment. (For some reason, those employed by government either complain less or are immune to this trend.)Another trend I have noted in my practice, that people more frequently complain that life comes at them with emotionally charged events, at a pace faster than they can metabolize. When this occurs both in their personal and work life, anxiety, irritability, burnout, and depression follow. Health issues appear from inadequate attempts to calm the inner turmoil. Friendships suffer. People no longer play. Couples no longer take time for bonding between just the two of them. Sex becomes one more item on a ‘should get this done’ list. A number of authors – “channelers”, they are called, - began, at about the same time, writing after the “harmonic convergence” of 1988 that as we move through this 25 year period of 1988 to 2012 ( the last nanosecond in a 25,000 year cycle) that every few years it would seem that events come to us with greater speed. That we would have less time to sit and process them before the next event or experience would be upon us. ( More to come on this topic later in this week.)In noting the seeming effect of someone having dialed up the ‘speed dial’ on the world, and each year, time moving faster, people are more in need of paying attention to what is takes to adapt to this shift in their lives.

Over the next few posts, I will discuss some of my thoughts on what this shift means and how to adapt more effectively. For now: Each day, take time to stop. Engage in some meditative activity. It is essential. Some activity that has the ability to ground you in time and space, holding you to the present moment. Draw, sketch, Zentangle, write a poem,( anything from free verse to limericks to haiku will work), All of these are creative activities that slow the mind and body; helping up go inward and downward, to a place of safety and sanctuary. We cannot slow the pace of the outer world or its events, but we can influence the pace of our inner world, and thus our personal world.

These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.