Thursday, March 17, 2011

Dylan Dog... the movie?

But - but people actually read this blog! I'm not used to anyone reading my blog! I can't handle this level of responsibility! Now I have to be topically relevant and stuff. Jeez. *kicks dirt*

Alright, how's this for you.

Anyone seen this trailer?

If you know your nerdly morsels, you know that Dylan Dog is one of the most widely sold Italian horror comics, and that it first found itself in publication in the mid 80's. It's surreal and sexy and hard to follow, and I've never quite figured out if that was because of odd translations, because I was reading them out of order, or just because Italian authors are weird. (The classic quote about Dylan Dog, incidentally, is from Umberto Eco, who said, "I can read the Bible, Homer, or Dylan Dog for days on end without ever feeling bored.")

Then for no reason I can think of, it was suddenly reprinted in a collected edition in 2009 (wikipedia claims it was a marketing ploy for the new movie. I have my doubts...). I discovered this by accident just before it hit shelves, after trying to do research into figuring out if one of my favorite movies, Cemetery Man, was actually based on Dylan Dog like I heard it was rumored to be.

As far as I can tell, the answer is "no, not really." Tiziano Sclavi wrote both Dylan Dog and Cemetery Man (Dellamorte Dellamore in Italian), and Rupert Everett looks quite a bit like the character Dylan Dog, but other than the fact that they both deal with sex and the supernatural, there doesn't seem to be much else to link the two pieces together.

I can handle that. It doesn't bother me a bit. YOU try watching Cemetery Man all the way through on a hot date and see if it bothers you at all... The answer will be no because you won't make it to the end before your clothes evaporate in a cloud of steam and pheromones, accompanied by the sound "piff." At least if you're me.

What bothers me, however, is this new movie. It smacks of the same weak edged Hollywood zomcom mistake that ruined the Hellblazer movie for me. Far too much hyuck-hyuck, and not enough grit and titties. Sure, Superman looks a little like Dylan Dog, but the entire rest of the premise is off - it's almost like someone watched Cemetery Man, read an issue of Dylan Dog and decided to create this new movie out of whole cloth.

Call me a literary purist snob, but all I can say is that this new Dylan Dog movie doesn't look good. And Dylan Dog should always be good. I give it a solid wah wah waaaaah. And I'm still going to see it in theaters. Dammit.