Most of us, especially the sorry ones who are deeply in love, don’t have a choice even if we’re in a bad relationship. We don’t want to leave the sad but safe relationship we have in our hands. We know there’s no rosy future, but we still hope for a miracle.

The fear of falling out of love

It’s really hard to call a relationship off or break up with someone you love because of the five fears that haunt you. But if you want a happy future, you have to learn to overcome these five fears of falling out of love.

#1 It’s painful. You’re deeply in love. And breakups hurt a lot. Your partner may not love you as much as you love them, and that scares you more. What if you call the relationship off and your partner’s completely fine with the idea? [Read: The reason behind why love hurts so bad]

#2 It’s hard to recover. When you truly love someone, you definitely need time and help to get over it. You find it easier to stay in a relationship that hurts you a little everyday instead of ending it and ripping your heart out in the open in a flash.

#3 You could get jealous. Face it, if your partner’s not that into you, they may even date someone else or move on without the slightest sign of sadness. Can you deal with that? [Read: Are you jealous of your ex?]

#4 You may even regret your decision. You know you did the right thing, but somewhere deep inside, you may hope your partner could change and start loving you better.

#5 There’s a big chance of falling back in love. There’s nothing worse than a relationship that takes you back and forth in love. Avoid it if you can. [Read: Circumstances when you can date an ex]

There are more things to fear about ending a relationship, especially if you love your partner a lot. But there’s only one right thing to do when you’re in a bad relationship. You need to fall out of love.

How to fall out of love one step at a time

If you’re convinced that you’re in a bad relationship, you need to make up your mind and walk out for good. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely doable with these 10 tips.

#2 Accept it. You can’t persuade your bad lover to become a better lover, so why are you staying back and hoping for a miracle when you already know the right thing that has to be done?

#3 Don’t let your bad lover affect you emotionally. Focus on having a good time no matter who you’re with or without. You have a right to be happy in your own life regardless of who’s around, don’t you think?

#5 Allow your mind to stray and think about other attractive members of the opposite sex. Appreciating other cuties mentally is the easiest and fastest way to let your mind know that there are other better fish in the sea.

#6 Get infatuated by someone else. You don’t need to date them. But get a crush on someone else and spend most of your time thinking about those little moments you may have shared with this new person.

#7 Don’t make it hard on yourself. Stop pining about someone who will never ever love you back as much as you love them. Make a conscious effort to move on instead of feeling sickly satisfied by the misery you experience. [Read: Are you experiencing unrequited love?]

#8 You can’t forget your lover. Don’t try to. Instead learn to deal with it. Learn to accept the fact that both of you are not meant to be. Try to find someone else who can take your lover’s place in your heart if you want to get over them soon.

#9 Learn to live without your partner. If you’re still in a relationship and want to know how to fall out of love with your inconsiderate partner, then you must first learn to live without them. Go out with your own friends or meet someone you like over lunch while you’re still in a relationship. You’ll soon see that your life can be filled with happiness even if your partner won’t be around you anymore.

#10 End the relationship when you feel strong enough to take the plunge. Brace yourself and convince yourself of the fact that your world doesn’t revolve around your partner anymore. You’re ready to go out alone and experience all the happiness the world has to offer to you. End the relationship with your lover, walk out and don’t look back. [Read: Conversation tips to end a relationship the right way]

DISCUSSION

‘Instead of feeling sickly satisfied by the misery you experience’? Why do people like to pretend that people going through a hard time ALL have a mental illness? I don’t mean this disrespectfully to those who have a real, actual mental illness, but I don’t see how being unhappy about something in your life qualifies. I dunno. It’s just a me thing..
I guess this is a defence mechanism. If you dehumanise the victim then It’s easier to convince yourself that this will never happen to you.

Mitchelle

I really love reading all your articles, but there is a problem I have and I wanna share.
I dated a guy for a week, we met on a social media and planned a week visit, and we did had fun for 5 days.After I returned back to my home, he called and said is over without any reason, so his friend decided to help me get back together with him, my boyfriend couldn’t tell me what my crime was, and didn’t want to date me anymore. I finally accepted that he was just playing me so I had to let go.
His friend started professing love to me, I rejected him for months, and later decided to give him a chance after I realized he was really good, we have been dating for 6 months now.He has gotten back as friends with my ex. Since then he has changed,he keeps secrets, he has stop caring more like he use to, he doesn’t call often like before, and offlate we argue alot, he doesn’t even want us to be friends on Facebook because he doesn’t want his friend who is my ex knowing he is still with me.
Am confused because I am also so much inlove with him now, and am emotionally weak type of person that can’t stand loneliness and breakups.Both our family members also know we are dating.
I want to lessen my towards love him so I don’t suffer if he decides to breakup with me!
Help me am so sad and depressed

Sharon

I dated, what I thought to be the love of my life, for 3 years. They say finding someone who loves you as much as you love them is hard, and that you will find them later on in life. I was lucky enough to find my ex-boyfriend at a pretty young age. We were genuinely happy, and nothing else mattered. Until we both realized that in the future, we can not be together. He was a different and much strict religion than myself. We both refused to change for one another, and there goes our relationship. It is hard, it is very hard, but at the same time can you do when the person you love ( who loves you back) can not be with you, not by choice but because we both know we won’t change religions…

jennifer johnson

What should I do when I think my boyfriend is never going to the next level after 4years come February

gene

Hi this is a message for mitchell.
Hi i have gone through something similar to you and know it is so hard and think it would be good to get some help like counseling as you need the support and advice to cope with this.I am getting counseling and I am feeling abit better now but obviously need more work.Don’t do this on your own.