Well folks I owe it to you all to be totally honest. I smoked. There I said it. I have no excuses but I would like to explain a little as to why it happened.

As most of you know I was taking Zyban . This was ok in the beginning ,but on thursday started giving me serious headaches and dizziness. I contacted my dr who told me to stop taking them immediately. Being on my own and responsible for my 13 yr daughter I did as told. Anyway as you know I was pretty stressed yesterday with the hot water tank but I somehow managed to keep it all together. I woke this morning ( craving a cig) to find my cat ( who is nearly 18yrs old bless her) had been poorly in the night and had puked all over the conservatory. I then received a worried phone call from hubby in the usa cos our darling daughter (unbeknown to me ) had texted him telling him that herself and Mummy missed him desperately and would he please fly home but mummy wouldn't tell him cos she was brave. How crap do you think I felt then? ok so smoking is no answer b ut at the moment its alot more appealing than a bottle of gin ! (not that I even like gin) Well to sum up I caved BUT I fully intend to try again soon. Thanks for everyones support especially Buffy,Little Sue and wolfy So sorry I let you all down.

Hi Kazza dont beat yourself up. If you read some of the posts on here there is a big percentage of people who have tried more than once to quit, you must not think of it being a failure and in no way have you let any of us down. When the bruises have healed and you feel strong again " get back on the bike" Maybe quiting with a different method, something else might work for you. Bless your daughter she must have seen how Mum was stuggling and didnt know what to do to help. Take care of yourself Sue x

Karen, don't beat yourself up. It's just another attempt to final success. Remember it's like anything else, the more you practice the better and more successful it becomes. You'll make it and we will all continue to support you so stay here and keep at it.

Thanks to EVERYONE for replying. I even called hubby in the states (sod the phone bill) and told him I'd started again. When I told him of the reaction to the Zyban his immediate response was "don't take that crap ever again" He was never really happy that I was taking them in the first place if I am honest cos of the side effects he'd read about. But I must say he's been really understanding about this and just said "Never mind 2 weeks this time, when your'e ready to do it again perhaps you'll be able to stop for good" At least he's not angry with me.

I dunno guys I just feel so unmotivated and peed off at the moment. I realise this all sounds weak and pathetic and when I've got in the correct 'mindset' again, I'll give it another go (hopefully soon) Thanks again .

Babes dont feel to bad it could happen to anyone of us anytime. Just when your ready try again dont beat yourself up your still a lovely person smoking or not. Thinking of you hope you feel better soon Lots of love Linda xxxx

Glad your hubbys supportive too. You will quit again and you'll quit with prior experience x x and it will be that touch easier x x try a cessation person next time they can really help with finding a method to suit you and going back each week gives goals to achieve.

I will try again when I am more "with it" as it were. I see the nurse on Thurs and will tell her why I smoked. NO-one but me forced me to light up. ok I had medication issues but I was not strong enough to say no to a fag THEN. Next time I will be!!