Tuesday, October 27, 2015

I made it to 35! As per usual, I am spoiled. My family and friends have lavished me with love, presents, and food. Honestly, there is no other way to be treated on your birthday. It's all about the eating and the togetherness. We are serious about celebrations, and food and drinks are centerpieces to our family gatherings. I love cooking and eating because of these traditions. But my love of food and my love of lazy has led me down a very overweight and painful path. In the past 5 years, I have been diagnosed and treated for diabetes, high cholesterol, pancreatitis, sleep apnea, degenerative disk disease, and hypothyroidism. I am a walking poster child for most of the bad things you can be diagnosed with due to obesity. But on my way to this realization, I didn't care. Not that I wasn't down on myself for not getting bigger and bigger over the years. My self-esteem wasn't enough of a hindrance to quit my bad habits. Not until every doctor's visit brought more and more pills to take. I knew I had to get serious. so we changed our diet. But that wasn't enough. Nothing I do is ever enough anymore. I can't get past this weight.

As my doctor was handing me my prescriptions, he was also handing me booklets on weight loss surgery and said told me he would like to refer me. I was resistant. I felt like I hadn't given it a real try at getting the weight off myself. I started walking, went to the gym. But the next visit to the doctor didn't show improvements. He again suggested surgery, and I told him that our insurance excluded it, and we couldn't afford it. I didn't mention it was still too scary to think about, but I called the surgeon's office to confirm what I already knew. I can't afford it, and my insurance will not cover it.

But now I work for the State of Texas. Big surprise, they do have a high option with bariatric coverage. Approaching my 35th birthday, I thought long and hard about it and researched the options results and risks. Last month on the day the new plan became effective, I called the weight loss center and made my appointment. I have already attended my first consultation with my surgeon and have completed several of the items on my list of pre-op to-do's. One of which was quitting smoking. My plan is to be surgery ready by February, and to take a week off before spring break in March for the surgery, to have a total of 2 weeks off for recovery. I initially set out with the plan of doing the lap band surgery but have since changed my mind and chosen the bypass procedure.

I am very excited to get beyond this body with all its aches and pains and feel good again. I am going to change my behaviors with food and celebrations and exercise. It's going to be a total life makeover. I know that has risks, but at this point I am ready for it. I will still love to be with my family without food and drinks being the centerpiece, and I might even get the chance to race my nephew down the driveway without fear of blowing out my knees or dying from lack of oxygen. I am not choosing the easy way. Nothing about cutting and rearranging your guts is easy. It's going to be a long road of trials and tribulations. I will do my best to keep a journal of my new Adventures of Beebs. I promise not to get all preachy about food or any more condescending (mostly). I vow here and now to not lie to people about how I am losing weight. Nor will I be ashamed of knowing when I need help and asking for it. It boggles my mind that people hide the fact that they had surgery to lose weight. People tend to notice that you have gone from eating an entire watermelon to something the size of your thumb. (Just saying)

So that's my birthday present to myself. I plan on being down at least 60 lbs this time next year, the year after I plan on being on being 120 lbs lighter and toeing the 100's line. I don't think I have set unrealistic goals. I've made up my mind, and will prevail. Just you watch me.