Do It Yourself Move (DITY), Personally Procured Move (PPM), something only insane people do…it goes by many names these days, but I’m here to let you know that packing and moving your household goods is not that bad.

The first question I get when I tell people we move our own HHG is “why?”

Our decision started with a terrible move that brought only half of our house with the other half coming two weeks later. Things were broken, missing and the unloading crew was dragging our stuff off the truck and into the house.

My spouse and I said enough is enough and we took on the burden of moving ourselves.

It Feels So Good To Purge

Three months out begins the great purge. It feels SO good to get rid of things that you no longer use.

Purging is also a great way to make extra cash while ensuring the rental truck or container you have to pack won’t overflow.

Neighborhood yard sales followed by posting to local yard sale pages or the Facebook marketplace have proven the best place to sell things.

PPM pro-tip: if we haven’t used the item in a year, it’s gone.

Labeling Your Boxes With The Best Labels Ever

Now that you are down to the items you plan to move, you can start packing up the non-essential items. Things like seasonal décor, off-season clothing, off-season sports gear, outdoor toys that aren’t being used and anything else you and your family can live without.

We usually start by breaking down my spouse’s office that he HAS to have at each home. He doesn’t ever use it but it’s a great place to contain all his Army memorabilia so it’s not spewing into the rest of the house but I digress.

We break down the office and use this part of the house as our “ready area.” We pack up the non-essentials and tag them with the best labels EVER.

To buy these moving labels on Amazon, click here. This link is an Amazon affiliate link. If you purchase through this link, NextGen MilSpouse will earn a little cash to help keep us rocking and rolling. Learn more how this works on our Privacy Policy.

Your recycled moving boxes have other family’s names and info written on them so instead of getting a sharpie and going to town, pop this label on it and move on.

All boxes that are ready go into…you got it, the “ready area!”

PPM pro-tip: save one label from each roll because you will put it on the door of the corresponding room at your new home for unloading purposes.

3 Options For Getting Your Stuff From Point A To Point B

Now let’s talk about how to get your things from Point A to Point B. You have numerous options here and can choose the best fit for your family. We always do option C because that option works best for us.

PPM Option A, U-Pack or Pods Container: This shipping container gets dropped off at your home and they pick up and drive it to your new location.

Pros – you get your family and cars to your new home.

Cons – it’s not always a door-to-door move since it’s based on the availability of drivers and it’s more expensive than the other options.

PPM Option B, U-haul, Penske Truck, Enterprise (No Tow): You call and price out with the military discount and pick your winner!

Pros – cheaper than Option A and allows for a door-to-door move.

Cons – you have to drive the truck to your new home along with any other vehicles.

Let’s fast-forward to the month of your move. You are packing your home, have your truck or container booked, and now it’s time to think about loading day.

We have pets and kids and we don’t like for them to be there on loading day. The animals go to doggie daycare for the day and we utilize the on-base child development center (CDC) for our kids. If the CDC isn’t an option, you could consider hiring a sitter or asking a close friend to watch your children for the day.

Now it’s time to call in the favors of said close friends at the duty station and get help loading the moving truck. We aim for six to eight people for only two hours for two reasons.

It doesn’t sound that bad when you ask someone to help you for only 2 hours.

It only take two hours with eight people.

Your Personally Procured Move (PPM) Timeline: 7 Days Before You Leave

The week of load-out is an excellent time to confirm all reservations – doggie daycare, moving truck/container, a friendly reminder to friends helping move and so on.

Also, think about snacks and drinks for your friends helping. People don’t expect a full-on meal but we still need to feed ourselves, so I always make a lot and offer it to our friends. Things in the crockpot like pulled pork tacos or sandwiches with chips feed a ton and are crowd-pleasers. We provide water and beer because we love our friends.

The night before the load-out, move everything from the “ready area” into the garage if you have one. Once everything is in the garage, move all fragile items to the front. Most trucks have a “Grandma’s attic” for these breakable items and they need to be loaded first. They will be easy to spot with those fragile stickers you put on!

The next morning you will pick up and weigh the truck empty, then back it up to the garage, throw open the doors, and begin the game of Tetris to make it all fit.

After some colorful language and rearranging numerous times and everyone’s suggestions, the truck will be loaded.

Don’t forget to put a decent lock on your truck when you are finished loading because people could potentially try to get into your truck as you PCS to your new duty station.

Lastly, keep all receipts along the way and consider hiring movers at your new duty station to help you unload the bulky items. This is a great option since you probably don’t know too many people at your new location.

Jenah Wieczorek, PCSgrades Director of Community Outreach, is an Army spouse and mom to two wonderful boys. She is a two-time recipient of the First Cavalry Division Commander’s Award for Volunteer Excellence, the Department of the Army Award for Patriotic Civilian Service, and is a member of the U.S. Cavalry and Armor Association’s Order of St. Joan D’Arc. Jenah enjoys coffee from 9-5, wine from 5-9, leggings as pants, reading and spending time with her family. She currently resides in Fort Leavenworth, Kansas, and is PCSing to Fort Stewart, Georgia this summer.

In the height of PCS season we here at NextGen MilSpouse took to Facebook to ask the all important question:

Do you tip your movers?

Overwhelmingly military spouses responded that while they don’t give them money, they do provide food for their movers. The most popular food items are coffee, donuts, pizza, sandwiches and drinks.

That’s when I realized that I was completely in the minority. Not only have we never tipped our military assigned packers and movers, we don’t provide food. Never. Not once in our three PCSes.

When I told my husband that people provide lunch for their movers, he said, “weird.” He didn’t understand why.

When asked why they feed their moving crews, military spouses say this

Happy movers means a better move with less broken things.

I say they are professionals hired to do a job. They take breaks throughout the day, including a long lunch break. Why do we need to give them food?

These aren’t our friends volunteering their weekend to load a U-Haul truck and move us across town or help us load up for a PPM. When we moved from our rental to our first purchased home, we gave our friends coffee, lunch and lots of beer for helping us.

Feed our movers? Nope. Not once. Honestly it never crossed my mind.

Here’s What You Said

When it comes to tipping the movers, the consensus seems to be that this may not be allowed under the government contract. And you may not have the same people on either end of your move, especially if you don’t do a door-to-door, so that’s a lot of cash. And there is no guarantee that your stuff won’t break in transit or in storage. Because let’s be real, stuff breaks. On our first move we had a few fragile wine glasses break, and who knows if it was the packer’s fault or mine when unwrapping them quickly.

Food is a whole other thing. I get it, it’s a nice gesture. Food is my love language. I love me a good doughnut and you know I love coffee, so who wouldn’t love being greeted with food?

But contracts still allow for breaks so it’s not like they will move any quicker because donuts are on your kitchen island. Heck, they may even have sticky fingers afterward because who doesn’t love a glazed doughnut? And well, I don’t want to clean sticky plates when I unpack them a week later in my new home.

And what if the movers have food allergies? Then you have more food to eat yourself. Many of our Facebook fans commented that they’ve had some packers with “sensitive” stomachs.

If you’re OCONUS you also have a cultural divide to bridge. In some cultures it’s not acceptable to offer food. If you’ve lived there for a few years, you likely know that, but double-check before buying those pastries.

Should I Feed My Movers?

Honestly this discussion didn’t swayed my opinion for our next PCS.

There are too many factors for me to deal with on top of the stress of a PCS. I’m already making sure that I’ve packed every important paper and clothes for every weather option. Oh, and the air mattress, sheets and towels.

Picking up coffee and pastries or a sandwich tray? Yeah, this milspouse ain’t got time for that.

Do I offer them water from my fridge or sink? Or those leftover sodas from the last FRG event? Of course, come on, I’m not heartless.

But I don’t think that offering something to my movers beyond my respect will change the course of my PCS. On the one move where we had significant damage, I don’t think food would have changed the outcome.

I expect the packers and movers to do their job. I greet them with respect, explain where the Do Not Pack items are, check in to see how they are doing and that everything is out of a room. I’ll direct them to all of the new rooms and hope that the room with all my book boxes will really be my home office. But otherwise, they are adults and I expect that they packed their own snacks and the Mountain Dew they are holding is plenty of sugar for them.

Because when I tell you the real story, you are just as likely to disbelieve it.

We did it ourselves and we’d do it again! Or rather, we used the Navy’s DITY move system for our final retirement move, instead of hiring a mover.

Even though DITY stands for Do It Yourself, we didn’t really do it ourselves.

We hired trusted friends to help us pack, babysit while we packed and then, we hired a military volunteer group to load our goods onto the trucks. At the other end we paid teens to help move everything into our final destination.

My husband took care of the financials for the move. He got receipts for all the labor and kept receipts for all our packing supplies, the truck rentals, everything! He is very thorough.

To say I will never forget it, never regret it, is the absolute truth.

Ours was a big house, 5 bedrooms — we have 4 kids — so it took a while. We started early on our own. For months, I saved large and small boxes and started going through our things, separating things into piles for a yard sale, stacks for the thrift store and setting aside special gifts to bequeath to friends and family. After we had settled on what would go and what would stay, we gave each of the kids boxes of different sizes and sharpies to begin packing their things.

The younger kids were reluctant at first, because every time something went into a box, they worried they might need it again before we got to our new home. So the boxes remained unsealed until the last day.

Then, Ed and I assembled our assist team.

My beloved neighbors and friends, Jennifer, Amy and Bianca, were there for parts of every day for 2 weeks. They took turns packing boxes, sweeping corners and babysitting. The small boxes proved very useful, as we packed small fragile items in small boxes and tucked them inside larger boxes for extra padding and to make the boxes easier to identify when we got to our new home.

On each box, I scrawled a complete list of what was inside the box. Recently, I found a holiday box tucked in the garage with this list: treasured homemade crèche, headless Joseph, Joseph’s head, hand crocheted angel, tinsel. This year, I promise, I will glue his head back on, but until then, I know where it is thanks to our thorough inventories!

In the midst of all the packing, my friends were in every inch of my house. They found the candy wrappers behind the rice in the pantry. Sorry about that!

And one day, I had to chase Jennifer out of my bathroom where she was scrubbing my toilet — I love you girl and that’s why you can’t scrub my toilets!

Closer to moving day, Ed contacted the Norfolk Naval Operations Base Chief Petty Officers Association and offered to hire the Chief Selectees, the group of new E7 CPOs preparing for their initiation, to help us pack the trucks. There were 3 trucks.

On moving day, the Chief Selectees showed up half an hour early, which I know is military for on-time. They were ready to start work, but suddenly I wasn’t.

As I stood in my house full of boxes, I grieved for the end of our old life and the beginning of the new one. “Stop, I’m not ready,” I wanted to scream.

Sure, we would all keep in touch, and text and call, but it would never again be the same. I knew that from a lifetime of military moves.

The empty freezer brought it all home to me: the day before I had given away the last of the food because it wouldn’t travel well. Empty freezer, empty house.

Things moved quickly after that — military people can pack a truck in a hurry!

At lunchtime, I looked up and the whole gang was back, with kids and dogs and covered dishes, and someone had fired up the barbecue grill. They had taken all my leftover food and cooked it! There was enough for everyone and we ate as we worked.

It wasn’t perfect, but that made it perfect. A dog threw up, a kid blew out a diaper, a neighbor complained we were blocking the driveway. (We weren’t!) The usual.

And when we got to our new home, I had one last surprise. Amy and Jennifer had tucked my tomato plants and rose bushes into the very last foot of space behind the rolling door.

The movers wouldn’t have done that.

Patricia Neleski owns http://www.navyrackpacks.com an American company that provides privacy, storage, blackout curtains for Navy, Marine Corps, and Coast Guard seagoing personnel. Patricia also worked for several years as a journalist, as both a staff writer and freelance writer for the Virginian-Pilot. Her stories have appeared in HamptonRoads.com, Navy Times, Florida Times-Union, among others.

PCS season: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. But really, it was the most stressful of times.

It starts long before the move; during the season of orders uncertainty. Remember that scene in “Legally Blonde” where Harvard’s finest are huddled in the hallway anxiously awaiting the internship list to be posted? We thought it would probably be Warner and Viv, but of course we were all pulling for Elle. Her infamous, “ME!” was one of my favorite parts of the movie. If you’ve watched it once, you know the scene:

“Legally Blonde” not your thing? How about Harry Potter and the Sorting Hat? Students sitting in anticipation waiting for their fate to be decided by a hat…The tension is palpable. Will it be Gryffindor or Slytherin? Hufflepuff? Ravenclaw?

When maybe it comes down to work ethic or timing or chance or some sort of algorithm to which you are not privy.

You’ve been there.

You know that moment in the Harvard hallway or the Hogwarts Grand Hall, when you’re just…Waiting.

Whether you get your top choice or don’t get picked for the prime spot, there’s one great equalizer in moving: Packing and unpacking.

While the emotions might be intensified if you’re not thrilled about your final destination, it doesn’t really matter. The 7 Stages of Packing for a PCS are practically science. That’s why we capitalized it.

Stage 1: Waiting

You’re waiting for a date.

You’re waiting for written orders.

You’re waiting to tell your in-laws when to visit and when to schedule the babysitter and when to plan your farewell dinners and lunches and when to give your job notice (or make the hard sell for telecommuting) and when to get the pack out scheduled and the cleaning lined up and the inspection and All The Things you need to do.

There are almost literally 1,000 things you need to schedule, but can’t even fathom until you have orders.

So yeah, you’re just waiting.

And then, you have them! You have orders! While you’d think the next stage would be elation or relief, you are wrong. It is quickly replaced by:

Stage 2: Overwhelmed

You ask yourself such reasonable questions as:

How am I going to pack enough to keep us all alive when our things might not arrive until the next fiscal year?

What am I going to pack in the express shipment?

And how am I going to schedule those 1,000 things?

Why do I have so much stuff?

Can we just leave it all here?

Stage 3: Determination

Luckily, once you soar through the overwhelmed stage, you get into your Olivia Pope phase, and you Handle It. You schedule the things, you line up the movers, you figure out jobs and schools and tickets and leave and plans and you get it done. Because that is what we do.

Stage 4: Meticulous

Your grandmother’s china? Individually wrapped and labeled in bubble layers of promise and hope. You’re sorting by “need immediately,” “next season,” “long-term storage” and “donate.” It’s going really well. Because you are meticulous. You are organized. You are amazing. And you’re killing it.

Oh that was fun while it lasted wasn’t it? Until the movers call and tell you instead of Friday, they’re coming in 6 hours. Suddenly you’re thrust into:

Stage 5: Panic

The rest of the china gets stacked in the corner for your movers to pack with the cat and leftover takeout from the night before that you meant to put in the trash. You do your best to stay one step ahead but really, you’re six behind. You’re throwing things in a suitcase and hoping for the best (also filed under how our ski jackets made it to Guam before such useful things as towels).

Hashtag fail. Hashtag panic.

Stage 6: Over It

After some frantic moments, maybe a little bit of yelling (not me, of course, I never yell), and maybe even some tears, you reach your tipping point. Enter Stage 6.

Maybe you throw away/donate the rest of your things. Maybe you consider burning the place to the ground. Maybe you let the movers do their thing and you channel your inner honey badger and just don’t care.

Whatever that zen is, embrace it. Run with it. Drop the mic and walk off the stage. It’s all good my friend. Your stuff will get moved one way or another. It’s just stuff. Ooosa.

And finally, once you’ve gone through all these stages again at your new duty station, you’ll eventually reach the end. That’s right:

Stage 7: Finished

You might not have everything you left with. You might have acquired new things along the way, but whatever it is, you’ve packed, you’ve unpacked and you’re finally done. Kick back, break out Grandma’s china if it survived the trip and enjoy your new home. At least until you have to do this all again.

Let me set the scene. The military has gone and done it. They cut orders for your spouse and your family is going to move. To make matters worse, you LOVE your current duty station or are so over with the whole PCS process (which could be said for most of us!).

It’s never easy to move. It’s psychologically proven that moving is one of life’s most stressful occurrences, so that doesn’t help at all.

Despite all the headache, heartache and craziness, a PCS could also bring a welcome change or challenge to your family’s life.

It’s difficult to comprehend at the moment your spouse plops the paperwork on your lap. I can pretty much guess at that moment you were saying, “Not again!?” or “Dammit!” either out loud or in your head.

I was a hot mess when orders to Korea came down for my husband. Although, it was an unaccompanied tour, it still meant I would spend a year separated from him AND deal with a PCS afterward. Even with a year to “prepare,” I didn’t feel ready to say goodbye to everything and everyone I loved.

I’ve put together some of my favorite quotes from inspiring individuals that helped me get through PCSing and other quotes that I think would help you when you’re moving too.

Life Is an Adventure; Moving Is a Good Thing

“To me, if life boils down to one thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving.” –Jerry Seinfeld

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” –Helen Keller

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” –Dr. Suess

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep you balance you must keep moving.”–Albert Einstein

Change Is Good

“It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.” –Bob Proctor

“Some people look for a beautiful place. Others make a place beautiful.” –Hazrat Inayat Khan

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” –C.S. Lewis

“All great changes are preceded by chaos.” –Deepak Chopra

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” –Lao Tzu

Purging. Packing. Praying. These are the 3 Ps of PCSing. As I sit here silently weeping about the amount of crap we’ve amassed over the past 10+ years of my spouse’s Air Force career while staring down the barrel of our next PCS (and yes it’s very much an “I” moment as I handle this PCS with 2 children, 2 businesses, 1 very confused dog, and 0 spouse due to a “short tour”), I’m desperately seeking the humor behind the moving madness that happens with every single military move.

And despite the fact that I should be organizing or cleaning or purging something, I decided I’d much rather put the PCS moving processes to GIFs, because words won’t suffice alone and I’m too embarrassed to put my emotions to interpretive dance.

Without further ado, meet the military moving process complete with animated GIFs.

The 10 Phases of Counting Down to PCS Moving Day

1. Declare to see the actual PCS orders on paper.
You’re in denial and refuse to acknowledge anything until you see it on paper. And even then, you’re skeptical.

2. Plan a bucket list to see/try/visit everything within a 50-mile radius
…because you thought you had SO much time to do it all.

3. Feel an overwhelming urge to purge
and consider adapting a minimalist lifestyle with the next PCS.

4. Plan a yard sale to end all yard sales.
Because your treasures are worth their weight in gold, right?

5. Decide real yard sales are stupid and post photos to the virtual yard sale Facebook group.
And then the haggling begins, “What do you mean you won’t take a quarter for your gently used treadmill?”

6. Realize all yard sales are stupid and opt to throw away ALL. THE. CRAP.
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

7. Accidentally get rid of stuff you might actually need.
What do you mean I sold my washer?

8. The moving truck arrives.
Bring it on.

9. Pray that your offerings of pizza and soda are enough to keep your household goods from being smashed and scratched to smithereens.

10. Feel the weight of the world lift off your shoulders as the truck is sealed and drives away.