WEDDINGS/CELEBRATIONS: VOWS; Dina Mandés and James Hayes Jr.

By RAFAEL FRANCO STEEVES

Published: March 26, 2006

SOMETIMES a crisis can lead to that most elusive of human emotions: love. It happened to Dina Mand? a freelance production assistant for corporate videos who, like a lot of New Yorkers, found herself out of work after 9/11. Ms. Mand?had no idea her job search would land her a most unlikely soul mate.

After being turned down for cocktail waitress jobs at nine bars on a single day, she received a break at the last bar she visited. The bartender referred Ms. Mand?to her husband, who worked for a restaurant group that included Rocco DiSpirito's Union Pacific in Manhattan. Soon Ms. Mand?was ferrying food to the tables at Union Pacific, where she met James Hayes Jr., a sommelier.

The brunette, whose father had logged long hours in the restaurant trade, was intent on serving tables only until she could find another video job. To her, Mr. Hayes, the son of a former publisher of Fortune magazine, was another boss, someone she had barely spoken with outside of what her job demanded. She had worked nearly six months, just shy of earning a free dinner -- a much-desired employee perk --when she quit after finding more video work. On her last night, her colleagues gathered for a farewell drink. Mr. Hayes joined in, and as the night wore on he and Ms. Mand?found themselves alone and curiously attracted to each other.

The next evening, Mr. Hayes took her to Union Pacific, using his complimentary dinner. The staff was surprised to find them on the first of what would be many dates revolving around gourmet food.

Mr. Hayes, who was raised in Briarcliff Manor, N.Y., learned that Ms. Mand?was separated from her first husband and had been trying to avoid the trade of her father, Oscar Mand? He had worked in restaurants, first in Puerto Rico, where Ms. Mand?was born, and then as a ma?e d'h? in the Caf?e le Paix at the St. Moritz in New York. To Ms. Mand? her waitressing -- while earning degrees at Colby College and later at New School University -- was a means rather than an end.

Despite her exposure to the service side of restaurants, she was fascinated to be on the receiving end of a constant stream of fine dining experiences. ''I was hooked right away,'' said Ms. Mand? 34. Theirs became a love nourished at some of the city's finest dining rooms, including Per Se, where Mr. Hayes, 26, is now a headwaiter.

The relationship was helped along by the fact that Ms. Mand? who was divorced in 2002, ''is a night person'' and also acutely aware that restaurant work means nights and weekends are rarely free, said her older sister, Nanette. ''She understands what long hours can do to a relationship.''

Mr. Hayes discovered his calling when he was a freshman at Tulane University in New Orleans, and stayed for the summer, working as a busboy for the chef Emeril Lagasse. He went on to work for Mr. DiSpirito in New York.

''I knew right away that I wanted to do this professionally,'' recalled Mr. Hayes, who claims to have inherited his culinary tastes from his father, an avid wine collector and a demanding gourmand who lives in Colorado Springs.

When Mr. Hayes decided to propose marriage after a year of dating, he did so on a trip to the Napa Valley in California.

Mr. Hayes's passion for food and wine also led him to suggest for the wedding reception the Hotel El Convento, where Ms. Mand?s father once worked. It is housed in a former convent, one of the oldest structures in Old San Juan.

''Her heritage and culture is very important to me, so naturally I wanted the wedding to take place on the island,'' Mr. Hayes said.

They were married on March 11 by the Rev. Efra?L? at the Old San Juan Cathedral, a Roman Catholic church dating to the 1520's. At the hotel after the ceremony, more than 100 guests sipped Caribbean Love Punch -- one of the bridegroom's original recipes --under a magnificent n?ero tree in the inner courtyard. Dinner in the Sal?ampeche was accompanied by a 21-piece Latin jazz orchestra.

After returning to Colorado, Mr. Hayes Sr. spoke of the demands of his son's chosen profession. ''It's a very different lifestyle,'' he said. ''The fact that Dina understands and is very familiar with that business is a great blessing.''

Photos: OLD SAN JUAN, P.R., MARCH 11: After their wedding, the couple, top, drew a few stares when they stopped in the middle of the street to kiss. (Photographs by Karen Cunningham for The New York Times)