RELATED

Just left Walmart

I am visiting my folks in what I presumed was a sleepy little suburb outside of the capital city of the flyover state. I went to the local Walmart for a few goods that were forgotten back home and really can't believe what I saw.

Weird white dude rocking camouflage with what appeared to be a machete/Bowie knife sheath on his side looking through the cabbage.

All manner of individuals from specific parts of the globe rocking full burkas and hijabs. One man even was wearing a turban.

There was a visible meth use among many of the patrons. That sunken steely contorted face and missing teeth that serious users of meth are generalized for was just far too frequent.

Many of the females were rocking that burned out bleach blonde hair look. It would have looked like a blonde halo 2 months ago, but the dark roots were just killing the bombshell look they had hoped for.

There were kids running around all over. Many of the kids looked as if they were just having a good time being kids. The parent began a reprimand that could make an MD blush. Poor kids.

I saw a few tumbleweaves roll through. Tumbleweed you ask? No, tumbleWEAVE. It's on google and urban dictionary.

There was the typical mullet, bowl cut, and ZZ Top Beard, shirts with no sleeves, grotesque tattoos and piercings, and so forth. Nothing new there.

While I believe I escaped unscathed, I did make a quick stop at the minute clinic for penicillin and tetanus booster shots. I should be infection free.

Comments (77)

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Yeah, I haven't been to a Walmart in years except for two weeks ago. You realize how different the world is outside of your professional and academic circle. I asked for help from one of the workers there and they barely acknowledged me.

I'll probably just stick to target even if some of their items cost more. The experience is just way better.

I love ordering from Walmart.com. It's been a few years since I've been inside a retail Walmart. I'm just a little scarred.

Dude Walmart.com is the only place I find better deals than Amazon and Ebay. I bought $150 of mason jars for a project I was doing and they offered me to open a credit card and get $50, so I did because I open every credit card ever as a rule anyway. And then I returned half the jars but kept the $50. Boyyakasha.

Reminds me of the time I almost leased solar panels for my roof because ComEd was offering me $1200 cash. I got the cash and backed out of the contract. All in good faith. Still friends with the sales guy on FB. Got some dope SunRun shades too.

My kid bro had a kelto phase. We went to Walmart once and he walked out holding a cast iron pot. I still have it. Never used it. Use the pan instead. Which I bought. Also at Walmart.

Not really. Dollar Tree and shit like that is for actual broke people. WalMart is just for white trash living in nearby apartment buildings and run-down ranch houses with trucks on the lawn on cinderblocks.

The difference I noticed between Canadian and American Walmart demos was really surprising... In Canada it's basically the same people you see at Costco and they are much more normal but at Walmart in the US that doesn't appear to be the case. Have only been to Walmarts in NY/CA/UT though.

Agree Canadian WalMart is just like any other stores here. Even in the US, I think it's highly dependent on the area. If you are in the middle of buttfucknowhere, expect what OP described. But in a relatively nicer areas, my experience with Walmart has been pleasant.

Curious as to which flyover state this is. I thoroughly enjoy the show that ensues at Walmart. Frequented many over the years due to remote camping trips and it's the only place to get crap for like 50 miles in most cases. The ones closest to cities seem to be the worst. More suburban/rural and people are sweet as pie and you've only got the camo/tattoo crowd.

Grew up on the wrong side of town in a bottom 10% public education ranking state from middle school until the end of college. Rich kids from privileged families who couldn't get into better colleges enrolled in my state college. I was in a fraternity with a lot of these kids. Every time we ventured out of the college bubble and into the surrounding city, they'd always marvel about how down trodden the people and places were in my hometown. I genuinely feel bad for these inexperienced, uncultured and coddled individuals because they would get their ever-loving shit rocked if they had to survive alone in an environment like that. These were the same kids who got hard and would look for fights after a couple drinks in safe college bars because their behavior isn't checked by all the other posturing pussies who haven't actually been in some real shit.

So Costco is dope. Everyone knows. But let's talk about Sam's Club. I assumed it was trashy Costco, but I went there this winter because I bought up all the space heaters I could find in the city of Chicago and had to go to Sam's in some suburb and it was fucking nice dude, they had cool shit, they had like a wheelbarrel with a clock built into it and shit. And they let me buy shit without a membership.

I was verbally approached by a man in Walmart after making eye contact a little too long with him. He said "God damn, have you never seen a hillbilly hippie before."I was 11-12 at that time. Scared my socks off.

He looked like a country man with blue overalls who just decided to join the Manson ranch. (smelt like cigs)