Life is not plain sailing

Last weekend was Easter and soon we will be seeing the Xmas decorations up at major department stores. The question many will be asking is “where has the year gone”?

Meatbomb Horton……..some may remember he “Sings like a bee but does not float like a flutterby” is in love and has a new squeeze (gall, doll, bit of alright then), not met the lady myself, but having conversed with her on FB she seems to be ok and has a good sense of humour……….. Something she will need if she is going out with Meatbomb…….ha ha ha. Happy for you Bro.

Easter weekend was not to bad, I mentioned last week that I had attended Tania’s church Easter camp (see previous Blog).

On Friday (22/4/2011) we had a long tea with dad (was his birthday) and chatted with Ryan Kirsten about movies, old TV programmes and the subject of strange laws came up, here are some from the Good old USA that are still on the statute books.

Here are some of those very laws from various states

In Natoma, it is illegal to throw a knife at anyone wearing a striped shirt

In Portland, it is illegal for men to tickle women under the chin with feather dusters.

In Vermont it is illegal to whistle underwater.

In Chicago, it is illegal to fish in one's pyjamas

In Alaska while it is legal to shoot bears, waking sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

In Salem, even married couples are forbidden from sleeping in the nude in rented rooms.

Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.

In Boston, it is illegal to take a bath unless one has been ordered by a physician to do so.

In Detroit, it is illegal to ``ogle'' a woman from a moving car.

In Port Huron, the speed limit for ambulances in 20 m.p.h.

In St. Louis, it is illegal for an on-duty fire fighter to rescue a woman wearing a nightgown; in order to be rescued, a woman must be fully dressed.

While children may purchase shotguns in Kansas City, they are not allowed to buy toy cap guns.

In Whitehall, it is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.

In San Francisco, it is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.

In Nebraska it is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

In Newark, it is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.

In New York City, ``It is disorderly conduct for one man to greet another on the street by placing the end of his thumb against the tip of his nose, at the same time extending and wiggling the fingers of his hand.''

In West Virginia it is illegal to snooze on a train.

Ironically, Hornytown has banned all massage parlours.

In Fargo, one may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.

In Fargo it is also illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

In Columbus, it is illegal for stores to sell cornflakes on Sunday

In Florida Unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed.

In Schulter, it is illegal for a woman to gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.

In Pennsylvania "Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes".

In California it is a misdemeanour to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

In South Carolina no horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.

In Tennessee it is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.

in Memphis, it is illegal for a woman to drive by herself; “a man must walk or run in front of the vehicle, waving a red flag in order to warn approaching pedestrians and motorists.''

The entire Encyclopaedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Also in Texas a recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

In Florida if an elephant is left tied to a parking meter the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle

In Alabama putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.

In Utah birds have the right of way on all highways.

Short week again this week with both Monday and Wednesday being Public holidays. This weeks highlight was getting screwed by my ABSA homeowners insurance, seems that they have very very small print that says a pool pump can be blown up by electricity, flooded with water, even abducted by aliens, but if you don’t ensure the small seal that keeps the water out of the motor are not serviced and maintained then your not covered. Guess what the small seals let in water that blew up the pump.

Anyway bought a new pool pump this morning from Builders warehouse….Got a free newspaper though so payment of large loot was dampened by a free R15.00 news paper. Must say that Builders warehouse was pumping (pardon the pun), its amazing how many people do DIY on public holidays or a Sunday…..Frikken crazy if you ask me.

Friday had a surprise trip on a pilot boat in the harbour, we went 3 nautical miles out to take a pilot out to bring in a tanker, was great. Why did we do it, well to get photos and information for a industrial play that Ryan and I are presenting for 200 people on Wednesday in PE.

Seems that a South African that moved to Australia 3 years ago was murdered (along with his visiting parents in law) by his neighbour, his 14 year old son was badly wounded and a cop was also shot in the face. Just goes to show you that crime is everywhere and the grass may not be greener on the other side, you can live in what you perceive to be the safest place in the world and the guy next door is a Frikken nutter.

Today (Sunday 1st May) I went to local PNP to get some milk and a couple of things, got home and cell phone rang, was the manager of PNP to say he had my wallet with R in it, could I please come and collect. The lady at the till had picked it up gave it to the security who then gave it to the manager……………I was gob smacked and also a little humbled that we always say how bad crime is in SA but here we have 2 ladies who very easily could have taken the R and tossed the wallet, but they did not, they gave the wallet in to the manager. Thank you ladies, Thank you very much.

At last the 2 Muppets got married on Friday, now I suppose we will be bombarded with pictures from the wedding as well as the honeymoon as well as the first 5 years of their lives and god help us when she falls pregnant.

Super 15 this weekend had The Stormers gave the Sharks a Rugby lesson, the Cheetahs beat the Brumbiesand it would seem Red Bulls “do give you wings as they came out in the second half and klapped the Chiefs.

Well that’s about it for this week……….Enjoy another public holiday tomorrow and remember to fill up with petrol before midnight on Tuesday because the 5th petrol increase in a row will see petrol here nearly R10.00 a litre (sucks)

About Me

I am 50 years young I have a daughter called Gabriella who is 18. I am Proudly South African. I used to live in a small drinking town with a fishing problem but moved to Port Elizabeth in 2009. I have had a pretty interesting life and up until a few years back when a good friend of mine persuaded me to look at writing a political/military book I had never ever thought of writing for pleasure. Not that I think that I am a great writer, but I do enjoy it and I have recently published my first book "The Clarens Chronicles" available from stephend@nosa.co.za. I ride a Harley Davidson 1200 Sportster and I ride as often as I can (not often enough)Having purchased a big boy scooter a couple of years back I am travelling all over PE and surrounds on two wheels and find it awesome. Hopefully with this blog you will get to know more about me, my family and my friends. The Born Warriors Blog is one that i have set up to help collect stories and information on those men and women who have contributed to military history but have never received the credit they have deserved.