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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Video surveillance taken from Currys, an Earth Electronics megastore last night revealed shocking footage of the Rebel Alliance's most famous droids, C-3PO and R2-D2, committing a variety of serious offences including Break and Enter and Malicious Property Damage.

Given that R2-D2 and C-3PO are extremely outdated models, aged at least 40 and 20+ years respectively, it is hardly surprising that the droids have become dangerous.

Perhaps even more worryingly, a source close to the droids has revealed that C-3PO was made out of spare parts by a child on a backward desert planet and would therefore never have been subject to the standard safety checks required by law for all droids.

But what has triggered this "Thelma and Louise" style crime spree? Some say a lovers tiff, others suggest that R2 might just be going through a mid-life crisis. More sinister is the possibility that the droids are evil and have been biding their time for decades, waiting for their masters to remove their restraining bolts in order to wreak bloody vengeance upon mankind.

One thing is for certain: R2-D2 and C-3PO should be considered armed and dangerous. If you see either of the robotic felons, do not approach or attempt to apprehend them. Contact your local Stormtrooper Legion immediately. The Death Star will then be dispatched to your location directly.

5 comments:

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I can't believe we have to put up with more of this advertising this year. It's not big and it's not clever. In fact, can't stand this gradual erosion of a classic film. It's made me so mad I've just voted for it as Christmas's worst advert.