Kimberly Garner Likes to Rollerblade

I thought rollerblading ended a decade ago when a tank topped guy in wraparound sunglasses caught his reflection in his sports bottle and cried with a sudden gift of self-awareness. Regardless, girls on skates will continue to provide boners to millions of men who will make comments about how amazing it would be to doink a woman on wheels. We got seven billion of us humping the stationary way, but the porn industry continues to confuse us with how sex really ought go down. Like biting her boobs super hard and calling her a whore or straddling her with your legs akimbo so a camera can pan on your nut sack swinging back and forth like a Newton’s Cradle. Yeah, go on and try that some time. Chicks dig being treated like porn stars. Trust me.