Well, what a 25th high school reunion this has been. No one could have guessed that I would have spiked the punch bowl with a powerful sedative. Then, I moved everyone to this remote farm where I buried you all up to your necks. So the question I ask of you - are you all having fun?

Relax jock Henderson. I will have my revenge for what you did to me soon enough. But right now, you will all be witness to my greatest act of revenge. Here is Principal Wartburg. He's eighty two, confined to a wheel chair and suffers from Alzheimer. But beneath that blank lifeless stare, he knows where he is and why he's here.

Remember Principal Wartburg? Remember me from the junior prom? Do you remember seeing me and Stacy dancing? And you dared stop me because you said I was, and I quote you, sir: "Obviously excited?" You took my dance bracelet away from me and told me to go outside.

Poor Stacy. She was never the same after that. She went full lesbian afraid that she might shame another man! And she stayed a lesbian right up until she married Gary and had three children with him! And I, I never touched another living woman sexually again - though I have touched many a woman sexually. Let that sink in for a moment.

Now, Mr. Wartburg. I will be taking back my bracelet. The one you took from me so many years ago. I'm sure you have it on your person. Give it to me. Well, he seems to have fallen asleep. I'll ask him again after he's had suitable rest. This torture must have drained him so.

When he awakens and gives me my bracelet, I will then finish my dance with Stacy. Sadly she is recently deceased and will not really enjoy the moment. Also, she's pretty stiff so cut her a break. Her dancing won't be very smooth nor graceful. Please try not to laugh.

So he's still asleep, huh? I could just search him. I'm sure he's kept the bracelet on his person all these years as a trophy. But that would rob me of my moment when he submits to me! Let's wait a little while longer, shall we. Man, the guy can snore. Drools a lot too. Yuck.

What to do in the interim. You guys are all buried up to your necks. You aren't going anywhere. I know. I shall entertain you with my many victories at the game of Dungeon and Dragons. They're on my blog but just in case you missed them. Here goes. December 4th 1987. I was in the Lair of Elderborn Elf Warrior with but a Lamp of Truth and a Wilkinson Sword of Medium Sharpness. Now, here is where it gets interesting. I rolled a...