Friday, January 22, 2010

Certain Side Effects May Include Screaming at People

Anyone who smokes, or who has ever smoked, knows quitting smoking is a state of mind. That's why smokers always say, "I can quit anytime I want." They just don't want to yet. Or they haven't psyched themselves up enough. Or they're planning on drinking tonight and cigarettes go great with alcohol. Or things are stressful and they know a smoke will calm their nerves. They were going to quit when cigarettes went over $5 a pack, but that day is long gone. They tried the gum, the patches, the slowly-weaning-themselves-off-method, but they didn't succeed. Even the nightmare-inducing, make you fart and barf drug from Pfizer didn't do the trick. And none of those edgy, million-dollar scare and shame tactics do a damn thing.

They hold to their excuses. They buy into the gimmicks. But they're just chicken-hearted, gutless pussies. I know because I smoke. And I'm psyching myself up for the day I lay them down with this mock ad. It will be my motto to myself.

My husband successfully quit with the Smoke Enders program. His company paid half when the company went Mo smoking. It made the participants work on both the nicotine addiction (by switching to brands with progressively lower nicotine levels) and on breaking all the physio-psychological habits that were cues for smoking, by forcing longer separations between having a cigarette and whatever it was linked to, such as drinking a cup of coffee.

Good luck on quitting, whatever method does the job for you. It'll make a world of difference to your health, and to your family's health as well.

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Go Buy This Song Right Now!

Jetpacks Junk

Basically...

Back when we were kids, the advertising people told us that "in the future" we'd all be free from disease and living in peace, flying around with our own jetpacks. The future is now...and we're still waiting.