When You Meet with the Funeral Home

Chances are, within the first 24 hours of your loved one’s death, you will need to meet with a funeral home to begin the funeral arrangements. While you could choose to meet with us, you could also decide to meet with another funeral provider. Either way, the following information will help you prepare for what is often called “the arrangement conference.”

Without a doubt, this is a difficult time for you and your loved ones. Yet, it’s comforting to know every member of the funeral home staff will be there to do their utmost to make this difficult time a little bit easier. The Funeral Director will guide you in making all the necessary decisions. It’s good to know you are not alone.

Would You Like Someone to Go with You?

Perhaps you’d like another member of the family to come along with you. Or maybe you’d rather have a friend, or close neighbor join you in the first visit to the funeral home. While it’s not necessary to bring someone with you for moral support, it can be very beneficial.

Please don’t hesitate to ask someone to join you. Chances are they will be honored at your request, and gladly step up to help you during this time. When you ask, be sure to tell them that if they do not feel comfortable doing so, you’ll understand.

Who is Responsible for Making the Decisions?

It’s important to know exactly who is legally responsible for making the funeral arrangement decisions for a loved one. If the deceased has not expressed their wishes through a written document such as a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, or a Last Will and Testament, where the deceased has designated an agent to fulfill their wishes; then the chain of command is commonly as follows:

Legal Spouse/Partner

Surviving Adult Child/Children

Surviving Parent

Surviving Adult Sibling

Ex-Spouse

Parent of Minor Child

The person designated as the responsible party, whoever they may be, needs to be present to make decisions, and sign documents. If you have questions about the accepted kinship-related order of precedence, or are unclear as to who is the responsible person in funeral planning, call us.

Should Someone Else be Included in Making the Arrangements?

While assigning responsibility is an important part of funeral planning, it’s also very important to include any children, friends, or other family who would like to be a part of arranging the funeral, and perhaps share in the cost of a funeral. Despite the fact that they may not have any legal decision-making rights, their input could be very valuable to the process.

Assisting in making the final funeral arrangement decisions can be very empowering, and help someone come to terms with the loss. If there are people in your life who you feel should be asked to participate, make sure you ask them. They can always decline.

Have You Gathered the Necessary Documents and Information?

The following are some questions that we may ask when you call:

What is the full name of the deceased?

What is the location of the deceased (Hospital, Nursing Facility or Residence)?

What is your name, address and telephone number?

What is the name, address and phone number of the next-of-kin?

Is there a pre-arranged funeral plan? (If yes, what is the plan name or number?)

We will then set an appointment time for you to come to the funeral home to complete the details of the funeral arrangement. We will ask you to bring in some items and information that will be necessary to complete the arrangement. These items will include:

Clothing for the deceased

Social security number of the deceased.

The deceased's birth date and city and state of birth.

The deceased's parents names, including mother's maiden name.

Information about the deceased's education.

Marital status of the deceased.

Veteran's discharge papers or claim number.

A recent photograph of the deceased.

Pre-arrangement paperwork (if applicable)

Cemetery lot information (if applicable).

· Contact your clergy. Decide on a time and place for the funeral or memorial service (the services may be held at the funeral home).

· Decide on an appropriate charity to which gifts may be made (church, hospice, library, organization, school).

· Gather obituary information, including a photo, age, place of birth, cause of death, occupation, college degrees, memberships held, military service, outstanding work and a list of survivors in the immediate family. Include the time and place of the funeral services. The funeral home will usually write the obituary and submit it to the newspaper(s).

· Select pallbearers and notify the funeral home. (People with heart or back difficulties may be named honorary pallbearers).