Welcome to the Straight Hype, new home of the former
internet hot spot "The Rant". The Straight Hype's egregious spelling and atrocious grammar are kept in check by my associate editor, the lovely Miss Claire, and the site looks so pretty thanks to our in-house computer guru, the esteemed Mr. Paul Leger. Please feel free to email any comments to the editor, Joe Leger (that's me), at joe_leger@hotmail.com. Mr. Leger is a writer living in Atlantic Canada.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Well another weekend has come and gone as we continue our wombto tomb full tilt boogie to the rapture. What a week! MichaelRichards went on a racist tirade, stopping just short of doinga black face skit, and singing Jimmy Crack Corn. Jim Webb, thesupposed "Democratic Southern Gentleman", made a complete,undignified ass of himself at a White House Reception, andthe Democratic party continues to implode as another of NancyPelosi's picks of the week got kicked to the curb.

It appears that Mizz Pelosi is so punch drunk with power, and possiblycheap malt liquor, that she deluded herself into believing that thepublic would overlook the fact that her nominee to head the HouseSelect Committee on Intelligence, Alcee Hastings, was impeached,disbarred, and removed from the bench, for among other things, acceptinga $120,000 bribe that eventually led to 21 racketeering indictments.Pelosi and the press tried to play the race card, but to little effectgiven the scope of Hastings' misdeeds, and the sheer size of his waste.(I'm told other smaller House members sometimes orbit around his hemisphericmid section.)

Anyway I might as well end this with the strangest thing I overheard today;

"We had 4 dogs and a cat. My husband was mad because we had too manypets, but the dogs ate the cat, so they kind of took care of the problemfor me"

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

If the record turnout for the post American Thanksgiving, Greco-Romanorgy of shopping is any indication, this years X-Mas retail salesare going to be higher than Willie Brown in a seedy motel room. Sofrenzied was the shopping and eating extravaganza, that plumbingcalls for clogged sinks and backed up toilets increased by 50%on that day alone!!. They don't call it black Friday for nothing.

As always, I encourage all my loyal readers to keep the free market rockin' inthe free world, and spend, spend, spend - like Ted Kennedy in a house of illrepute on 2 for 1 Tuesday.

Now, as always, there are a few festive malcontents who smugly refrainfrom any form of holiday philanthropy because of their disdain of thevery economic system that allows them the freedom to waste my hardearned tax money, organizing protests so they can rid the world of Starbuckscoffee shops, while the rest of us have to actually work for a living. Frankly,if these whiney little enviro-freaks want to knit reusable hemp tampons forthe person on their Secret Santa list, that's fine with me, as long as theydon't try to sell me any "Fair Trade" coffee beans. Remember, the next timeone of these anti-trade layabouts starts screaming about how your cup ofcoffee comes from the work of exploited child labour, remind them that it'stheir tiny hands that make it so tasty!!!

Ok, maybe the acidic nature of this update is a little out of sync withthe very spirit of Thanksgiving that is supposed to melt the heart ofeven the most ardent of misanthropists amongst us. But, just like turkeyain't turkey without the stuffing, the Hype ain't the Hype without taking a fewbow shots at lefties, liberals, paleo-liberals, extreme libertarians, andtheir unkempt cousins, the anarchists - (to borrow a phrase from theinvaluable Jonah Goldberg)

Anyway, if you're still waiting for the plumber to retrieve the Playstationyou dropped down the toilet, while trying to get the high score on 'Aliensversus Predator: Extinction' in the bathtub - hang tight. They're probablynext door trying to unclog the catastrophe the Ritalin fuelled kid from nextdoor stuffed down the kitchen sink.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Sorry for my post weekend delay, but I was plagued by the same intestinalvirus that floored my girlfriend a few weeks ago, landing mean all expenses paid vacation with IV and all the amenities at theMoncton City Hospital. Without getting into graphic details, let'sjust say I was New Orleans, and the levees busted.

Anyway, I have to give my props to my main man Ace, who gaveme a shout-out over at his witty and illuminating site, wherehe waxes blog-style, about everything from poker to politics, tozombies.

A point of contention regarding Ace's Zombie post. Acerefers to the fast moving flesh eating creatures in DannyBoyle's '28 Days Later' as Zombies, when in fact, they're actually infected with the "rage virus", as apposed to beingmembers of the walking dead. So there more like Michael Richards,as apposed to the new Democratic controlled house and senate.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Oy! Barely a week after the midterm elections and Nancy Pelosiand the Democrats are already imploding. Pelosi, who the medialikes the refer to as a doting grandmother, but who more closelyresembles a mildly retarded, angry feminist cyborg, had her toppick for Majority leader John Murtha, handily rejected by herparty - opting instead to vote for her personal nemesis Steny Hoyer,who trounced Murtha by a vote of 149 to 86. It was amusing to seePelosi try and keep her composure under the glare of the media lights,especially given the fact that she hates Steny Hoyer, the way Skelatorhates Heman. Her fake smile made her look like a Mary Kay agent,who showed up drunk in the lobby of a hotel. This is what happenswhen you vote for Democrats. It's bad for the country, but greatfor my blog!

Anyway, I'm off to the Saint Andrew's for the weekend, soyou'll have to peruse through the nifty archive on the top righthand corner of the page, if you need your daily fix of the StraightHype - heroin for the conservative-libertarian in all of you!

Trivia for the Week...

The Straight Hype was once a web site that was rated one of thetop 10 conservative web sites in North America. What was its original name?

Monday, November 13, 2006

Many of my readers have been asking where the reader mailsection is, and well, the answer is a little complicated.

I conscientiously read all of my emails and respond to all questionsand comments in a timely and courteous manner. My readers are importantto me. They are the lifeblood of this organ. Without you, the Hype wouldbe just another dot-com cargo cult in the wasteland of cyberspace. Butsomewhere, in between your family outing to the monster truck pull andyour appearance on Judge Judy, you email my blog and pollute my inboxwith the noisy static that crams up the inner workings of your brain.

Admittedly, I am a bit of an intellectual tricotteuse. It's one thing togive slaps to liberals, paleo-liberals, and rabid Jacobites, but some ofyou somehow manage to fall outside of the ice-cold grip of stereotype.

You are the people who think music hit its apex when Lynard Skynardrecorded "Sweet home Alabama". The kind of folks who declare they'll nevervisit "Effigy" because it seems someone's always getting hung there. Youknow who you are. You buy generic soda pop, and own a copy of "WrestleMania III". You think the West reached an all-new cultural plateau whenGarth Brooks broke the mould by tearing down the walls between countryand rock, spawning the insipid "Country Rock" genre.

Now, before you all grab rag torches and drag me out of my house in themiddle of the night, let me be clear that reader mail, as my old fansremember, is not a place where I pat my loyal readers on the backs.My readers are always quick to send kind words and comments every day.Reader mail is where I disembowel people who make the mistake of whippingoff poorly worded emails laced with insults, and infantile pseudo-Trotskyiteramblings.

Anyway, the site is picking up steam, and running fast - like RosieO'Donnell trying to get the last chicken wing at the all you can eatbuffet.

Being a child born well into the Age of Reason, I don't easily fallvictim to claims of malevolent auras pervading the atmosphere - thatwas until read of a near-fatal airborne bovine catastrophe in Turkey.

Reports are that diners at a swank restaurant in Istanbul were nearlyflattened into their karniyarik after a cow crashed through the roofof the establishment. Miraculously, no one was injured but the cow isquite dead. Whether the cow was already on the roof at the time of theincident, and just how it got there in the first place, remains a mystery.

Why did Constantinople get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks'.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Tuesday's mid term election was a lot of things, but itcertainly was not an endorsement of theDemocratic party, nor was it a carte-blanche mandate, for Nancy Pelosi'sextreme left wing agenda. A closer look at how Americans voted on various ballot initiatives, as well as the social and fiscalconservative leanings of the candidates they chose, show thatthe Democratic leadership would be ill advised to misread the electorate.

Without a doubt, Iraq came into play, but not to the extent, or theway in which pundits would have you believe. Democrats simply enjoyeda strange anomaly of the American electoral system called the 6 year itch.

Since 1934, during the 6th year of a two term presidency, the oppositeparty has always picked up congressional seats. The exception beingthe second year of Bill Clinton's presidency, when Democrats gotwhacked like a tardy Japanese housewife.

There are a myriad of reasons why Republicans have found themselvesin the current situation of being the minority party in both houses,but the 2000 pound elephant in the room that sycophantic pundits aretoo blind to see, is that somewhere along the line, Republican's juststopped being Republicans.

The American electorate have always been predominately conservative,and the Republican leadership has offered nothing over the last 8 yearsbut run away pork spending, soft leadership on social issues, and backstabbingthe administration when the war began to go south. Tuesday was the politicalversion of jury nullification. A not so gentle reminder to Republicansthat the conservative revolution that was set into motion by Newt Gingrichalmost a decade ago has fallen off the track.

There are many lessons to be learned down at the RNC over the nexttwo years, the question is, is anyone listening.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Now I know all you global, pan-enthnicity layabouts get your Birkenstocksin a knot every time I wax on about the moral superiority of Westernculture, or how capitalism is the only real moral vehicle to promotedemocracy and freedom to the those living under the jackboots of theleviathan state around the world. A recent AP story, however, may haveyou thinking twice before taking Fido on your next world tour.

The Canadian Food Inspection Agency recently rebuffed a second effortby the South Korean government to import thousands of cans of dog meat(yes, dog meat) for sale on the Canadian market. Now if the idea of caninein a can isn't revolting enough in itself, vendors at the last World Cupwere reported to have sold thousands of cans of "Dog Meat Juice" to thirstysoccer Hooligans who lapped up the stuff like citrus Gatorade.

Who the hell would market a dog-based sports drink?

"Canine Aide - Unleash the Power"

Ick. Anyway, Canadian officials were reluctant to point out thereis technically no law preventing this crap from being imported.Maybe they can give a free tin away with every case of Budweiser.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Thank you John Kerry. No, I haven't been sniffing paint thinner, I'm actually grateful that the would be President decided to turn the mid-term elections into his own personal soap box to gripe about hisfailed presidential bid.

No doubt the folks down at the DNC are using 4 letter expletivesbefore Senator Kerry's name, after John-boy decided to denigratethe good name of the troops two days ago, when he told a group ofCalifornia students that individuals who don't study hard and do theirhomework would likely "get stuck in Iraq". Sure Mr Kerry. Knuckledragging troglodytes like ex-NFL player Pat Tillman, who gave hislife fighting in Iraq. Folks like Mr Tillman don't represent the bottom rung of the success ladder, they represent the top of it. People whostudied hard. People who did their homework. People who ended up in Iraq,and served their country with honour.

So you might ask, why am I thanking John Kerry? Certainly not forbesmirching our troops, but for giving the public a much neededreminder of what the country has in store with people like Senator Kerryand Nancy Pelosi at the helm. A not so subtle reminder of why theyrelected President Bush in 2004, and why they should keep Democratsout of the house and Senate in 2006.

Perhaps John O'Neil says it best;

“Kerry has stated this was just a misfired joke. But it was not ajoke to the Pennsylvania mother with two sons in the Marines in Iraq(who both volunteered with MBAs and far higher grades than C-student Kerry)who recently called me crying. Nor was it a joke to millions of us wholistened to our maimed and dead friends described by Kerry in 1971 as an armyof rapists and murderers."