My thoughts on the idiocy that is Marvel Zombies

Is probably the most disgusting, offensive comic I have ever seen. Ok, not really, but it is the most puerile thing I’ve seen either of the big 2 put out.

Which is funny, because in one of his weekly interviews over at Newsrama, Joe Quesada was saying something about how the main Marvel characters would never cuss, or never have actual sex (or whatever), or never be in a Max title. I forget the specifics…basically he was saying they wouldn’t do anything that would sully their marketability and appeal to children or some junk.

Then they put out this crap…which has Spider-Man killing and eating his fucking wife and Aunt? The Avengers dining on Jarvis? Can tell me that won’t shit all over the “wholesome goodness” of your product line with a straight face? But what’s that …oh yes…zombies sell evidently. So here comes another round of TWO zombie series’ (prequels) to show us those lovely scenes that were implied but never shown in the first – such as the aforementioned Spider-Man scene. Fucking disgusting. I’m not even really a Spider-Man fan and I’m annoyed.

I have a question that has driven me bug-nutty for a year now. Whenever a question is asked about the possibility of Wolverine or Spider-Man appearing in a MAX book, the answer is always the same: the “name” characters are “like crack for kids” and we don’t want to put them in a story that would be inappropriate or damaging to young minds. If Jessica Jones wants to meet Spidey, Alias has to become The Pulse.

What, then, is the deal with Marvel Zombies – page after page of “name” heroes’ animated corpses with flesh rotting off of their exposed bones, tearing into people with their teeth? Did I really see a statue of Spider-Zombie holding the body of his wife with a huge gash in her neck?? I’m a grown man, and that’s profoundly disturbing. What’s the official explanation for this apparent contradiction?

JQ: Jimski, in my world, there’s a big difference between a monster movie and a movie in which characters get to say #@$% and $#!@ and we get to see lots naughty, naked bits and stuff.

Same thing in a comic book.

A follow-up from the next interview:

Q: KingMattress 05-07-2007 01:47 AM

Joe, I’m confused by something. Last week, a reader asked about why big name heroes like Spidey can’t appear in MAX books, but Marvel Zombies, with all its carnage, is fine. Your response was fair, in that a monster movie is different than one with curses and “naughty bits.” But isn’t an R-Rated movie an R-Rated movie, no matter the content? Do you feel that violence in comics isn’t as big of an issue as sex and language? I know comics have always incorporated violence to some degree, but far different than a hero eating a civilian’s head.

Along those lines, how is Marvel Zombies not MAX to begin with

JQ: Okay, one more time, with extra clarification.

KingMattress , first let me say that here in America, violence is much more acceptable than sexual issues. I don’t necessarily agree with that, but that is the world we live in whereas in places like Europe, the exact opposite is true.

Now let’s look at modern comics and content, if we can. When we look at our old Marvels from the 60s, the content may seem sweet and wholesome and in some cases quaint to us today, but in its time it was considered very edgy and perhaps even a bit much for little kids. That really hasn’t changed much forty-plus years later, but lets be honest – what was considered edgy forty years ago certainly isn’t what edgy is today.

Where there has been a diametrically important shift is that today parents are much more involved in what their kids are reading and watching and doing. I never had to wear a bicycle helmet and there weren’t little plastic covers on electrical sockets in my house when I was growing up. It was Darwinism pure and simple. Shift today’s parental attitudes and concerns to the 60s and a lot fewer kids would have been reading Marvel Comics because they were just way too edgy. That’s why we have a Marvel Adventures line, because we don’t want to fool ourselves into thinking that our books are suitable for 8 year-olds. Sure, some sophisticated 8 years-olds will dig them, but the Adventures line is created as much for the parents as it is for the kids.

So, if we begin from that point of view, there’s already a certain degree of gore and bloodshed in our regular Universe, much more than there was forty years ago and with respect to that, Marvel Zombies isn’t all that much different than our regular books.

Also, Marvel Zombies was rated Parental Advisory, Age 15 and up. This is the highest rating we give our books before heading into MAX world. It’s the same rating given to intense books like Moon Knight and Wolverine.

So, keeping all of that in mind, to me, it’s not a MAX title.

The emphasis above is mine. What’s funny is how fucking retarded this statement is. Find me ONE non-Max Marvel title with as much gore as an issue of the zombie-titles please Joe Q. You won’t find one..I know because I read pretty much all your shit. Sad, I know. There are occasional very gory SCENES (like the recent Moon Knight ish where he skinned a guy’s face or something), and very violent books (like Punisher{ but not just protracted issue after issue of filth. I mean filth in the sense of it’s gore for gore’s sake, and eating your loved ones should be sick in anyone’s world.

Oh, here’s another bit: She-Hulk eats Franklin & Valeria Richards (note that they are children). Nevermind that this was completely out of continuity with the rest of the series – where they are only killing “normal” people, and all powered people are turned into zombies. Hell, they turned Power Pack into zombies. This scene was just there to cross yet another line, and possibly to explain/justify why Reed Richards willingly infects the rest of the four with the zombie virus, and then gets off on it while they eat and convert him to a zombie.

YEahh…..stupid in sooooo many ways. It’s sad too, I like Kirkman’s writing, and I enjoy HIS zombie series (Walking Dead), but this is just crap for crap begging for money’s sake.

Nevermind that he’s just towing the country line with the whole “massive amounts of violence is ok but sex will corrupt our kids good!”