The world’s only GAY GATEKEEPER WATCHDOG blog! Exposing IDIOCY in Gay Rights movement ranks since March 2010! Home of the DUMB DORA AWARDS starring BIG BUFFY CHINGAS and the DUMB DORA FOOL’S HALL OF SHAME! Featuring MILITANT GAY CHRISTIAN commentary BANNED from both RADICAL and REACTIONARY websites! This site is now on EXTENDED HIATUS, but ceremonies should resume sometime in 2015. ¡HASTA LA PRÓXIMA, CABRONES!

10 October 2010

"Ex-Gay" Naïveté

The Advocate's staff
will make you gag
They showcase fools
named Sissyfag!
And Colbert's such a media whore,
He's gonna make a scene for sure!
What do you wanna bet?

They're so stupid!

Incredibly stupid!

What buffoons!

Just like a Mad Tea Party,

Lamebrains as crazy as loons.

Now Benny and Chaim
call their therapist rude
For asking they meet with him
in the nude!
And Tristan's lying up a storm:
She claims all Lesbians
watch Gay porn!
What a space cadet!

They're so stupid!
Unabashedly stupid
all the time!
Buffoonery that never stops,
We've gotta give these clowns their props,
So we'll do it now.
When it comes to acting dumb
They'll show you just how!

Muchas gracias to Big Buffy Chingas and Mariachi Lowrider for that rousing opening number. ¡Arriba! This Fifth Dumb Dora Awards ceremony promises to make the previous four look like ice cream socials! Believe me, mud will be flung tonight! But before we get down to business, I have an important announcement to make.

In the interest of truth in advertising, I've stopped referring to myself as a Gay activist. Gay activism is clearly the wrong description for what I do.

Gay activists crave the chance to be talking heads on Liberal-leaning webcasts, TV and radio shows. I couldn't care less about that kind of thing. Gay activists think farcical and pornographic imagery constitutes serious activism. I think exactly the opposite. Gay activists love to throw terms like "LGBTQ community" and "queer Americans" around. I despise those terms with a passion.

Gay activists love to snipe at one another over which of them has "done more for the Gay community", and has the most political savvy. I think that's juvenile behavior. Gay activists believe the political arena, not the courts, is the proper place to wage an equality struggle. I think that's a tragically misguided notion. Gay activists believe direct actions and civil disobedience should target politicians instead of organized religion. I'm convinced they're barking up the wrong tree.

Gay activists refuse to effectively confront their biggest enemy, the religious Right Wing. I'm fed up with their cowardice. Gay activists refuse to consider the equality struggle a moral crusade. I know that it is. Gay activists never want to examine how ignorance and internalized shame sabotages their efforts. Lately, that's the only thing I want to do!

So I'm washing my hands of Gay activism: From this point forward, I call myself a Consciousness Activist. I've charged myself with the task of conscientizing Gay people (thanks, Winnie Mandela). I hope to raise consciousness about the true nature of LGBT status; about the shame issues LGBT folk must contend with; about the lack of dignity in our public presentation; and about the pressing need for us to simultaneously respect ourselves and demand respect from the heterosexual/binary gender world. I may erect a humorous veneer around the Dumb Dora Awards, but make no mistake: That kind of serious work is what these ceremonies are really all about.

Members of the Sacred Sisterhood of the Horse's Ass have now taken their places behind the Imbecile's Podium. Without further ado, let the shaming begin!

The Dumb Dora Award for "Ex-Gay" Naïveté Goes To

Ben Unger, Chaim Levin

and "Journey Into Manhood" Dupes

Alan Downing is a “Life Coach”. He specializes in wresting men from the depraved clutches of homosexuality! Dude’s credentials are dubious at best, but the International Healing Foundation and other “ex-Gay” ministries have given his work glowing reviews. Downing bills himself as a "former" Gay man, yet admits to still being attracted to other men. As you'll learn presently, he has recently been accused of (homo)sexual impropriety. Those nagging inconveniences haven't diverted Downing from his chosen career path, though. Oh, no . . . he's dedicated his life to leading other Gay men down the road to heterosexual bliss. In other words, he's going to show them the way to somewhere he’s never been!

Don't expect me to explain his reasoning. I can't begin to fathom the bizarre logic that "ex-Gay" folk operate under! Just take my word that a significant number of people believe Downing’s claim that he’s a "reparative therapist". They don’t crack up when he tells them he can “unblock” latent heterosexuality in his patients. Some are so convinced of his legitimacy, in fact, they actually engage his questionable services.

Nobody who beds down with the Devil should be surprised if he ends up getting screwed without lubricant! I'd say that's what happened to two of Alan Downing's clients. Not literally, of course; but who knows what might've happened if the activities described here had continued indefinitely:

Truth Wins Out (TWO) released an exclusive video statement today from two former clients of “ex-Gay” life coach Alan Downing. The clients, Ben Unger and Chaim Levin, alleged that during individual therapy sessions, Downing . . . made them undress in front of a mirror and touch their bodies while the significantly older therapist watched. Unger and Levin call the sessions a “psychological striptease” and believe they were harmed by what they consider unprofessional behavior and sexual misconduct. Downing . . . is the lead therapist for Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality (JONAH) and is . . . a “Senior Trainer” for Journey into Manhood, which is a controversial “ex-Gay” backwoods retreat designed to supposedly make Gay men more masculine.

“He was encouraging me: ‘It’s okay Ben, you can take your shirt off . . . here was a man that was much older than me, and I was around 20,” said Ben Unger, a former client of Alan Downing. “At that point, I was just staring at a mirror with my shirt off and he was right behind me staring at the mirror with me at my body. Then telling me to look at my body and feel my body. It was weird.”

I wouldn't call it "weird". I'd call it "frustrated libido leading to inappropriate conduct"! Did Unger submit to this perverted ritual more than once? Now, that would strike me as odd.

“While I was standing there without my clothes on, he asked me to touch my genitals,” says former Downing client Chaim Levin. “Once again, I communicated that I was not comfortable with it. And he was like, you know, ‘just feel yourself. Just feel it for a second. So you can grasp your masculinity physically.’”

What Chaim Levin really needed to grasp was his sanity. He seems to have temporarily become separated from same! What was it about depraved voyeurism that failed to sound major alarm bells for him? Did he shed rational thought along with his jockey shorts?

These incredible accounts come from a press release distributed by Truth Won Out, an "ex-Gay" watchdog organization. Wayne Besen, one of my previous Dumb Dora Award recipients, is the founder of TWO. Sometimes, Wayne's personal flaws impact negatively on his Gay activism; dude can be mean, arrogant, reactionary and shockingly blind to important matters like the toxicity of hate speech. That said, nobody has done more research into the dubious activities of "therapists" like Alan Downing. Wayne has made a career out of exposing them, and he does an excellent job of it. Here's another juicy tidbit from his press release:

Journey into Manhood, where Downing is a counselor, exhibits similar eyebrow-raising techniques. Writer Ted Cox infiltrated this peculiar program and was surprised to find what he called “homoerotic exercises” and a cabin that he called “The Cuddle Room” because it was a space where supposedly “ex-Gay” men gave each other inappropriate massages. “Apparently some of the guys in one cabin threw their mattresses into the middle of the room and had an all-night holding session,” said one of the men attending the Journey into Manhood session, according to Cox’s article.

Holding sessions?

Even most "Ex-Gay" group leaders would decry such bizarre methodology. Who do these jokers think they're fooling? I know what they were holding in those cabins, and I bet you do, too! Are these allegedly therapeutic retreats just elaborate fronts for orgies? I can't believe that men desperate to become Straight would let themselves be drawn into such sexually-charged all-male activities. They must be incredibly dumb not to know what's really going down (and what's being gone down on)! If it's true that "ex-Gay" therapists are misleading their clients, it's also true that some of those clients seem only too willing to be misled.

No reputable psychotherapist would ever ask a client to disrobe in the office! Nor would he ever direct a client to get "massage therapy" from other clients! Who doesn't know that? I can't decide what's more pathetic here: Sex-starved Gay quacks ogling nude men under the pretense of mental health counseling, or idiotic Gay men buying into the absurd premise that homoerotic "exercises" will curb their same-gender desire. At least the quacks get paid for their foolishness!

Granted, self-hatred can leave Gay men vulnerable to brainwashing. I know about that, but I also know vulnerability and stupidity are two different things! Now, I'm not suggesting that the Alan Downings of the world shouldn't be punished. "Ex-Gay" scam artists deserve severe punishment in the form of professional censure, aggressive fraud prosecutions, and personal injury lawsuits. However, if you're a man who drops your drawers on cue and/or tries to cuddle his sex drive away with other men, there's a point at which "look what he made me do" accusations sound a wee bit disingenuous!

Both Ben Unger and Chaim Levin were adults when Alan Downing "counseled" them. Every adult must take responsibility for his own actions. In my opinion, all three men should examine the extent to which internalized shame and suppressed sexuality got them into trouble.

Some may find my assessment of Unger and Levin's conduct rather harsh. An attorney would probably see their situation differently than I do (and frankly, I hope one does); but I think God gave us all common sense for a reason! If a grown man can't recognize sexual harassment until after he's followed instructions to strip naked and fondle himself, then I ask you: what can anybody really do for him?

Just feel it for a second . . . just touch it one time. Oh, brother! The war against "ex-Gay" quackery (which has yet to be fully engaged) is just like the war on illicit drugs: It's doomed to fail so long as there's a steady stream of eager customers. The only way we'll diminish that customer base is by working much harder to de-stigmatize LGBT identity. I believe we can eventually conquer prejudice and shame. However, there isn't a damn thing we can do about stupidity!

BLOG CREDO

MEET THE MC: BIG BUFFY CHINGAS, LA CHINGONA

BIG BUFFY, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Mexican singer PAQUITA LA DEL BARRIO, is the founder of our house band, MARIACHI LOWRIDER. Formerly our music director, she is now host and producer of the DUMB DORA AWARDS. In addition to being a superb LATIN SOUL singer, Sister Woman is proficient on at least seven different musical instruments! Her amazing virtuosity is the result of extensive instruction from her famous father-in-law, COMO CHINGAS. You've probably HEARD OF HIM . . . in addition, Big Buffy is a former PAROLE OFFICER. What a surprise we got when she told us half the members of our house band were once under her CUSTODIAL SUPERVISION!

MEET THE MD: MATABABOSOS, EL FOOLKILLER

King of the FINGER WAVE! He’s the man who makes theELECTRIC ACCORDION sound like Carlos Santana's guitar. Born HARVEY SCHWARTZ, El Foolkiller is the musical child prodigy of a UGANDAN-RUSSIAN JEWISH father and a JAPANESE-GUATEMALAN mother. His KEYBOARD WIZARDRY won him admission to JUILLIARD, but he never got to attend the school. That’s because his OTHER skills (ARMED ROBBERY, MANSLAUGHTER) won him admission to some of this country’s most distinguished PENAL INSTITUTIONS! Matababosos embraced his BISEXUALITY while serving time, and acquired something of a PANSEXUAL DON JUAN reputation with the other inmates. Would you believe former cellmates compete for the honor of being known as his PRISON B*TCH?

MEET THE HOUSE BAND: MARIACHI LOWRIDER

The DUMB DORA AWARDS is blessed with the fine musicianship of MARIACHI LOWRIDER. Here they are, standing outside LEAVENWORTH CORRECTIONAL FACILITY with music director, EL FOOLKILLER, standing at far right. Doña Buffy has known them since she worked as a PAROLE OFFICER and they were all under her supervision. She suggested they form a DISCO/TEX MEX fusion band, and the rest is history!

MEET THE BOY BAND: COCHINADA BROTHERS

It’s rare that FIVE GAY BROTHERS are born into one family, but that’s what happened with the COCHINADA clan. Even more amazing is the fact that all of them are all excellent singers! When the boys sing together, they’re the tightest harmony group since THE RAMONES. Unfortunately, they’re also insufferable DIVAS with out-of-control EGOS. Their epic CATFIGHTS eventually pared the group down to four members (from left to right): KIKI, CHA CHA, LUCHI and BUBBA. It takes a STRONG HAND like Doña Buffy’s to keep these LOCAS in line!

MEET THE HOSTESSES: ZOOT SUIT MUCHACHAS

Meet our new awards ceremony hostesses! The MUCHACHAS (from left to right: MARÍA CHALUPA, MARÍA QUESADILLA and MARÍA CHIMICHANGA) are three of the hottest RED HOT MAMAS you've ever met! Wolf whistles fill the air whenever they walk out on stage, and that's just the guys from MARIACHI LOWRIDER! They do double time as hostesses at THE POP CULTURE CANTINA, a DIVE BAR and cabaret I operate in my off hours. Our original hostesses, THE SACRED SISTERHOOD OF THE HORSE'S ASS, have moved on to more ALTRUISTIC pursuits. They've founded a COUNSELING and TREATMENT CENTER for CLOSETED Bible bigot preachers. A much-needed service, don't you think?

SUBSCRIBE TO

MISSOURI IS A HATE STATE!

The State of Missouri DENIES LEGAL RECOGNITION TO GAY COUPLES and EXCLUDES ITS GAY CITIZENS FROM PROTECTION against employment discrimination. BOYCOTT THIS HATE STATE! Please do NOT locate your business, hold your group convention or spend your tourist dollars in MISSOURI. Send an email to the MISSOURI CHAMBER OF COMMERCE to explain why you are boycotting: kbuschmann@mochamber.com. Do your part to make the United States of America live up to its Constitutional ideals of FREEDOM, JUSTICE and EQUALITY. It's the PATRIOTIC thing to do!

"BAREBACK" SEX IS A FORM OF GENOCIDE! STOP USING SEX AS A WEAPON!

HIV infection is INCREASING among young Gay men, especially same-gender loving MEN OF COLOR. It doesn't have to happen! Take RESPONSIBILITY for your sexual health. Don't fall for the MYTH that contracting HIV is no big deal. A LIFELONG regimen of expensive AIDS medications can BANKRUPT you, as well as expose you to a host of harrowing SIDE-EFFECTS. Don't believe members of the HEDONISTIC "QUEER" FRINGE who downplay the DANGER of having unprotected anal sex. They are SALESMEN OF DEATH, lackeys for the forces of HETEROSEXUAL SUPREMACY who despise us and want us exterminated! ALWAYS use condoms; latex condoms are strongest, but if you're allergic to latex, polyisoprene condoms are your next best bet. NEVER use fragile lambskin condoms, and always precede anal penetration with a water-based LUBRICANT. Take these precautions even if you're in a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP; don't let RUSSIAN ROULETTE become part of your erotic play! The prospect of shortened life spans for you and your partner is a far more important consideration than the few seconds of "raw" pleasure you may derive from "BAREBACKING". Two decades ago, Gay people learned how to protect themselves from a lethal scourge called AIDS. That knowledge put the brakes on an epidemic that WIPED OUT a generation of young men. Those life-saving techniques mustn't go to waste, and our lives mustn't go to waste, either!

AN LGBT-AFFIRMING CHRISTMAS MESSAGE FROM THE REVEREND JERRY MANEKER

As I’ve often contended, there are two venues in which civil and sacramental rights for LGBT people must be fought: the COURTS, and homophobic CHURCHES, the influence of which cannot be underestimated. In the latter venue, peaceful and continual PICKETING during services of selected homophobic churches in each city or jurisdiction, showing how their FALSE GOSPEL of exclusion is antithetical to the Gospel of Grace . . . should be undertaken. When you hit, or threaten to hit, discriminatory institutions in the POCKETBOOK, (you) might reasonably expect them to tone down their HATEFUL rhetoric . . . WITHHOLDING FUNDS, such as removing churches’ TAX-EXEMPT status, can be a major way of gutting the homophobic rhetoric and actions . . . because those churches would then lack sufficient funds to bankroll the prevention of equal civil rights . . . for the Roman Catholic Church and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, to give just two examples, to enjoy tax exempt status is, in my opinion, a PROFOUND INJUSTICE! I am a Christian who is quite theologically conservative, and not only don’t I see any warrant to . . . justify any type of homophobia in the Bible, I am also ADAMANT about the need for the separation of Church and State! Currently, the Church and the State have become so ENMESHED with each other that most “conservative” churches extol as virtues Americanism, patriotism, MILITARISM and CAPITALISM. Indeed, most of the institutional Church is a HANDMAIDEN of the State and often parrots the ideology of the power elite in secular society, (doing) so by calling it “biblical.” Of course, nothing could be FURTHER from the truth! If anything . . . the New Testament, subscribes to anything BUT capitalism, as can be easily seen when reading ACTS 2:44-45 and ACTS 4:32-37. In any case, it’s a profound TRAGEDY that . . . if you ask the average person to say the first word that comes to his/her mind when the word CHRISTIAN is said, “LOVE” is not likely to be that word . . . thanks to the PERVERSION of the Gospel of Grace!

FARIS MALIK: THE MOST IMPORTANT GAY SCHOLAR OF OUR TIME

FARIS MALIK runs a website called "QUEER JIHAD". While I condemn his embrace of HOMOPHOBIC LABELS and disagree with his theory of UNIVERSAL BISEXUALITY, I fully endorse his scholarship on the subject of GENDER. His extensive research into the subject of ANCIENT EUNUCHS helped unlock Gnostic scripture for me. By revealing the direct connection between eunuchs and today's GAY MEN, Faris has contributed immeasurably to the disciplines of sociology, theology, LGBT studies and world history, to say nothing of the blow he's struck against ignorance and bigotry! Now, if only he'd clean up his SHAME-BASED LANGUAGE, he'd deserve my UNQUALIFIED praise. Plan a trip to his BORN EUNUCHS website today! If you are homosexual, what you learn there will change your life FOREVER.

THE ORIGINAL DUMB DORA WASN'T SO DUMB

Comedienne GRACIE ALLEN created the character of DUMB DORA during her years working on the VAUDEVILLE stage. She soon abandoned the name (but not the persona) after marrying actor GEORGE BURNS and embarking with him on a highly successful FILM and TELEVISION career. In the 1920s, Gracie Allen's ditzy creation starred in a short-lived COMIC STRIP drawn by CHIC YOUNG. Young later created BLONDIE, whose zany antics were clearly inspired by her predecessor. From 1962 into the mid-1980s, Dumb Dora was the tag of a recurring PUNCHLINE used by regulars on the popular "MATCH GAME" television quiz show. This blog, and the good I hope to do with it, is dedicated to the fond memory of Grace Ellen Cecile Rosalie Allen, the original Dumb Dora. She was actually a very INTELLIGENT lady, as well as a WARM and FUNNY one who taught millions of people to love her.

WE MUST PRACTICE THE CHANGE WE DESIRE: THE REVOLUTION BEGINS AT HOME, SUGAR!

Society will never change until our own self-perceptions change! When we free our minds of internalized shame, complete liberation will follow. We must let go of the MYTHOLOGICAL identities society has saddled us with! We are people of NEUTRAL GENDER. We are not HOLLYWOOD STEREOTYPES. We are not PARODIES of binary gender males and females. We are not HETEROSEXUAL PEOPLE GONE WRONG. We are not LATE-NIGHT JOKE FODDER. We are not CHILD PREDATORS. We are not recruiters for a DEPRAVED SEX CULT. We are not EXOTIC LAB SPECIMENS to be scrutinized and theorized about. We are not FREAKS OF NATURE. We are not DEFORMED BODIES in need of surgical correction. We are not ANTI-FAITH. We are not ANTI-FAMILY. We are not FRINGE. We are not PERVERTS. Nor are we HELPLESS VICTIMS of ignorance. Ignorance can be conquered one misconception at a time . . . and we WILL conquer it!

BLOG ARCHIVE

ALL LGBT PERSONS MUST COME OUT OF THE CLOSET . . . ESPECIALLY LGBT CHRISTIANS!!!

Closets are meant for CLOTHES! In the 8th chapter of the Gospel According to Luke, JESUS CHRIST tells us: "Nothing is HIDDEN that will not become evident, nor anything SECRET that will not be known and come to light." The Savior also taught that "No one lights a LAMP and then puts it under a BUSHEL BASKET. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives LIGHT to everyone in the house"(Matthew 5: 15). The HOUSE OF GOD desperately needs the purifying light that GENDER-NEUTRAL people of faith can shine inside it. In too many communities of color, the Lord's house has been DEFILED with WICKED HETEROSEXISM, TRANSPHOBIA and IGNORANCE about human sexuality. The gift of FULLNESS (MALE and FEMALE integrated in one body) that God bestows on LGBT folk not only attests to His GREAT POWER and WISDOM, but also to His very EXISTENCE. Who else but the LORD could perform such a MIRACLE? Stop acting like you're ASHAMED to reflect the Divinity of God! Do you want God to be ashamed of YOU? COME OUT from under those damn bushel baskets! LET THE WORLD SEE WHAT THE CREATOR HAS MADE.

ACTIVIST SELF-SABOTAGE IS PLENTIFUL: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SHAME IS PART OF YOUR GAME

Just because you're PROGRESSIVE doesn't mean you can't also be REACTIONARY! Just because you're a WOMAN doesn't mean you can't also be a MISOGYNIST! Just because you're a PERSON OF COLOR doesn't mean you can't also be a RACIST! Just because you're LESBIAN, BISEXUAL or GAY doesn't mean you can't also be HETEROSEXIST! Just because you're a TRANSPERSON doesn't mean you can't also be TRANSPHOBIC! Internalized SHAME makes people do the STRANGEST things to themselves and their kind; often, their worst ENEMY is as close as the nearest MIRROR.

SCHOLARSHIP IS PLENTIFUL: GAY HISTORY BOOKS EVERYONE SHOULD READ

AND THE BAND PLAYED ON by Randy Shilts

COMING OUT UNDER FIRE by Alan Bérubé

HOLLYWOOD GAYS by Boze Hadleigh

HOLLYWOOD LESBIANS by Boze Hadleigh

MAKING GAY HISTORY by Eric Marcus

OUT OF THE PAST by Neil Miller

SING OUT! by Boze Hadleigh

STONEWALL by Martin Duberman

THE CELLULOID CLOSET by Vito Russo

THEIR OWN RECEIVE THEM NOT by Herman Griffin

VICTORY by Linda Hirshman

WORD IS OUT by Casey + Nancy Adair

VISITORS ARE PLENTIFUL

Translate

SHOOTING OURSELVES IN THE FOOT: A GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT TRADITION

I like to rip the bedclothes off retrograde thinking and expose idiocy in all its shameful nakedness! Saying things nobody wants to hear or think about will make you unpopular, no doubt about that! However, the alternative is to STFU, go along to get along, and be just another dishonest pundit, pretending that the Emperor parading down the avenue isn't as naked as a jaybird. I find myself temperamentally incapable of being that kind of pundit. My mission is to root saboteurs out of the Gay Rights movement so that its objectives aren't compromised from within. My personal objective is to place LGBT folk square in the mainstream of society. That's where we belong, not out on the fringe!

THIS IS HOW THEY DO YOU WHEN YOU DARE TO TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT THEIR SCANDALOUS WAYS!

I thank God for the PRIVILEGE of writing this blog. It is a continuation of an experiment begun with my first online ministry, CHRIST, THE GAY MARTYR. The experiment involved telling INCONVENIENT TRUTHS to the Gay activist establishment. It has yet to meet with their approval! On the contrary, it has met with much CONDEMNATION from Gay Rights activists. Truth Won Out founder WAYNE BESEN calls me "divisive". Self-described "Queer" theologian PETERSON TOSCANO says my work is "gunk". AUTUMN SANDEEN and PAM SPAULDING of Pam's House Blend have judged me "offensive". Americablog's JOHN ARAVOSIS calls me a "hater". My writing so infuriated Joe.My.God blogger JOE JERVIS that he called me a "f*ggot" (and I have the EMAIL that proves it)! The Yahoo! Contributor Network (supposedly a bastion of FREE SPEECH) judged my essays "obscene." CANDACE CHELLEW-HODGE, editrix of the Whosoever website, said I was "too controversial." DR. ROBERT N. MINOR of the Fairness Project told me I have an "attitude". DAMN STRAIGHT, I do!!! And it's getting more ORNERY every day! Neither MORAL COWARDICE nor self-serving VITUPERATION will silence me. JESUS CHRIST told the truth . . . just look how POPULAR it made him! My truth-telling project must continue, regardless of how popular may or may not be. My blog's STRONG CONTENT is not for the faint-hearted or frivolous! I take NO prisoners whatsoever. However, my INCISIVE comments are never malicious. They are meant to stimulate the kind of SOUL-SEARCHING conversation that I feel is sorely LACKING in current LGBT discourse. All blog content has been copyrighted by STUFFED ANIMAL.

WELCOME TO KNUCKLEHEAD COLLEGE: CLOWNS TO THE LEFT, JOKERS TO THE RIGHT

KNUCKLEHEAD COLLEGE is a resource for Gay Rights activists with SERIOUS LEARNING DISABILITIES: The pre-Stonewall THROWBACKS who trade on old Gay myths and stereotypes . . . the SYCOPHANTIC Gay people who WORSHIP CELEBRITIES . . . the MEDIA WHORES who use Gay activism as a vehicle for their PERSONAL AMBITIONS . . . the LGBT writers, artists and performers who play same-gender sexuality for all the SHOCK VALUE they can wring out of it . . . the "QUEER STUDIES" PSEUDO-SCHOLARS who gleefully define LGBT identity as DEVIANT and PERVERSE . . . the frivolous KNUCKLEHEADS who never want to fight for equality unless doing so can be "SEXY" and "FUN" . . . the Straight allies who pay LIP SERVICE to equality while indulging in SEXUAL SLURS and HOMOPHOBIC HUMOR . . . the Transfolk who throw PITY PARTIES for themselves and promote the FICTION that Transsexuality is an ILLNESS . . . the SO-CALLED GAY ACTIVISTS who prioritize every Left (or Right) Wing goal EXCEPT Gay Rights. Ignorance is indeed plentiful at Knucklehead College! Here you'll find the worst examples of counter-productive ARROGANCE, OPPORTUNISM and IDIOCY in the LGBT "community". There are always new students transferring in! We try our best to educate these hardcore DUMBASSES, but it's a B*TCH TO DO.

NOMINEE PREVIEW

PAST DUMB DORA AWARD HONOREES

Running out of FOOLS? Here at the DUMB DORA AWARDS, we NEVER do! At our 12th ceremony, we shamed FREEDOM TO MARRY and MAINE MARRIAGE EQUALITY ACTIVISTS for Flying Kamikaze; UNITY! OF WESTERN CAROLINA UNIVERSITY for Smoky Mountain Sabotage; FRANK BRUNI and "HOMOSEXUAL CHOICE" PROPAGANDISTS for Doubting Divine Design; RANDALL JENSON and MARA KEISLING for Dumbass Debate; NORWICH UNIVERSITY and its "LGBTQA" CLUB for Dishonorable Diversity Training; OUT MAGAZINE and "T COOPER" for Spitting on Sylvia's Grave; SOULFORCE and BIOLA QUEER UNDERGROUND for Knocking at The Devil's Door (a double award); FANTAGRAPHICS for Selling Bullsh*t Instead of Books; and NEWSWEEK and ANDREW SULLIVAN for Sycophantic Sabotage. The 13th Dumb Dora Awards introduces our new Master of Ceremonies, BIG BUFFY CHINGAS! It's scheduled for 1 - 12 October 2012. HUZZAH!

THE DUMB DORA FOOLS HALL OF SHAME DIS-HONOR ROLL

INDUCTED OCTOBER 2012: THE GAY PORN INDUSTRY

INDUCTED FEBRUARY 2012: BISHOP GENE ROBINSON

INDUCTED OCTOBER 2011: "DEMOCRACY NOW!"

INDUCTED AUGUST 2011: QUEER RISING

INDUCTED AUGUST 2011: DAN SAVAGE

INDUCTED MAY 2011: THE HUFFINGTON POST

INDUCTED JANUARY 2011: QUEER STUDIES

INDUCTED OCTOBER 2010: THE ADVOCATE

INJUSTICE IS PLENTIFUL: TRANSGENDER PEOPLE ARE A DESPISED AND ENDANGERED MINORITY GROUP

The results are in: A new National Gay and Lesbian Task Force study confirms what most GENDER-NEUTRAL folk have known forever: It usually DOESN'T GET BETTER if you're TRANSSEXUAL! Some key findings of the report: Transfolk are FOUR TIMES more likely than the general population to live in EXTREME POVERTY; large numbers of Transfolk attempt SUICIDE following LOSS OF EMPLOYMENT, BULLYING and PHYSICAL or SEXUAL ASSAULT; and Transfolk of color (particularly AFRICAN-AMERICANS) suffer far more DEVASTATING discrimination than do White Transfolk. Gender-Neutral workers suffer TWO to FOUR TIMES the national unemployment rate. Of those employed, 90% report gender-based HARASSMENT on the job. Worst of all, significant numbers are left with no options for LEGAL employment and are driven to earn a living as ILLEGAL SEX WORKERS. For the average Transperson, FAMILY REJECTION, HOMELESSNESS, HOUSING DISCRIMINATION, DENIAL of HEALTH CARE SERVICES, POLICE BRUTALITY and/or SEXUAL VICTIMIZATION IN PRISON is a given; a large majority of survey respondents reported losing jobs, homes, educational opportunities and family relationships because of their GENDER EXPRESSION, as well as falling victim to RAPES, BEATINGS or UNJUST INCARCERATION. NGLTF's chilling report concludes: "It is part of social and legal convention in the United States to DISCRIMINATE AGAINST, RIDICULE and ABUSE Transgender and (Gender-Neutral) people within FOUNDATIONAL INSTITUTIONS such as the family, schools, the workplace and health care settings EVERY DAY. Instead of recognizing that the MORAL FAILURE lies in society's unwillingness to embrace different gender identities and expressions, society BLAMES (Transfolk) for bringing the discrimination and violence ON THEMSELVES! This report is a CALL TO ACTION for all of us, especially for those who PASS LAWS and SET POLICIES and PRACTICES . . . (we must) CONFRONT this pattern of abuse and injustice. We must accept nothing less than a COMPLETE ELIMINATION of this pervasive INHUMANITY; we must work continuously and STRENUOUSLY together for justice!" Access the full report by clicking the image of the BEAUTIFUL Transwoman.

If God DELIGHTS in the union of male with female, why would He not find joy in MERGING male and female IN ONE PERSON? Isn't that the idea behind HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGE (Matthew 19: 3 - 6)? Don't believe the LIES of the organized Church: Whether it manifests as HOMOSEXUALITY, BISEXUALITY or TRANSSEXUALITY, gender neutrality is NOT an abomination! It is part of GOD'S PLAN FOR HUMANKIND. I refuse to perpetuate the ABSURD FICTION that human gender is only binary! Transgender is a gender as VALID as male or female. I refuse to perpetuate the BLASPHEMOUS LIE that human beings are "born into the wrong body"! There are no wrong bodies. I refuse to PATHOLOGIZE transsexual anatomy! It is not a deformity. I refuse to validate the PREPOSTEROUS IDEA of people having "the wrong genitals!" There is no wrong genitalia. I reject the BOGUS NOTION of "gender reassignment!" When God blends male with female, human devices cannot separate the two. I reject the BASELESS NOTION that human gender should ever need be "transitioned" into! Gender need only be ACKNOWLEDGED. I reject the IGNORANT BELIEF that female and male gender cannot co-exist in one body. They CAN, and they DO! I reject the BIGOTRY that condemns female and male gender existing in the same body. How DARE mortals condemn what God has made? I denounce the use of TRANSPHOBIC slurs like "gender queer". Verbal genocide is just as LETHAL as the physical kind! I decry the PITIABLE VICTIM MENTALITY which encourages Transfolk to pathologize themselves. A GIFT must not be mistaken for a curse. I believe that Transgender life is both NATURAL and NECESSARY. I believe Transgender status is the raison d'etre of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transsexual identity. It is NOT a disorder! It must NEVER be classified as such. People of blended gender are not to be DEMONIZED, DENIGRATED or PITIED. Those who promote a Transgender victim mentality will find in me a DOGGED adversary! I shall CHASTISE them for encouraging Transfolk to feel inferior. I shall CHALLENGE them to embrace the normalcy of blended gender. If they persist in peddling TRANSSEXUAL VICTIMHOOD, I shall EXPOSE them as the messengers of ignorance that they are.

BIBLE BIGOTRY IS PLENTIFUL: NEVER LET IT COME BETWEEN YOU AND GOD'S LOVE

Arm yourself against ignorance! KNOWLEDGE is the best defense. EVERY Gay, Bisexual and Transperson should OWN and become FAMILIAR with the contents of the CHRISTIAN BIBLE. Do not FEAR or LOATHE the Bible: It does NOT preach what you've been told it preaches! There is AFFIRMATION for GENDER-NEUTRAL humanity within its pages. One of the best Bible translations is the NEW OXFORD ANNOTATED BIBLE(click the image for a link). Even though it isn't CANONICAL, you should also explore GNOSTIC Scripture, if only to EDUCATE yourself: You'll find a list of LGBT-affirming Biblical and Gnostic texts below.

AFFIRMATION IS PLENTIFUL: LGBT-AFFIRMING CHRISTIAN SCRIPTURE

The Book of REVELATIONS (14th Chapter RE: The 144,000 Companions of Jesus Christ)

The Book of THOMAS (entire book deals with Gay identity)

The EGYPTIAN Gospel (RE The Incorruptible Generation)

The Gospel of MATTHEW (19th Chapter RE: Born Eunuchs)

The Gospel of PHILLIP (RE Bridal Chamber attendants)

The Gospel of THOMAS (22nd Quote RE: Male and Female)

The Secret Book of JOHN (RE The Unshakeable Generation)

The Wisdom of SOLOMON (3rd Chapter RE Eunuchs and Virgins)

THE MYTH OF QUEERNESS = INTERNALIZED HETERO-SUPREMACY

QUEER and GENDER QUEER are HETERO-SUPREMACIST CONCEPTS! There is nothing ABNORMAL about LESBIANS, GAY MEN, BISEXUAL and TRANSSEXUAL PERSONS or their various forms of GENDER NEUTRALITY. LGBT folk are BORN, not made, and their identities are just as FIXED as those of their binary gender brethren. The popular notion of sex and gender FLUIDITY is SUPERSTITIOUS BULLSH*T! No human device, not even SURGERY, can change LGBT status. Attempts at such MANIPULATION are BARBARIC and should be OUTLAWED! Without exception, anyone who disputes these facts is in DIRE need of CONSCIOUSNESS-RAISING. Raising LGBT consciousness is what this blog was founded to do.

GET SERIOUS, OR GET THE F*CK OUT OF THE WAY!

Many self-described Gay activists are staunch opponents of "POLITICAL CORRECTNESS". They will actively defend the most RUDE and OFFENSIVE expression imaginable, including HATE SPEECH against gender-neutral populations. Even worse, they themselves use HETEROSEXIST and TRANSPHOBIC slurs like there's NO TOMORROW. They are either clueless IMBECILES or willing TOOLS of the hetero-supremacists! Opposing "POLITICAL CORRECTNESS" is neither a LOGICAL nor an EFFECTIVE method of pursuing SEX and GENDER EQUALITY. If you're really SERIOUS about LIBERATION, your politics damn well BETTER be correct!

IF YOU PICK UP A TURD, YOU'LL GET SH*T ON YOUR FINGERS!

Revolutionary Jazz artist FRED HO stated: "Oppressed peoples suffer when their history, identity and culture are defined, represented and explicated by our OPPRESSORS! The struggle to redefine and re-image our existence involves the struggle to REJECT THE STEREOTYPING, DISTORTIONS and DEVALUATION embodied in the classifications of conquerors . . . it (takes) a movement of oppressed peoples to adopt NEW TERMS and meanings for self-determination, and to REPLACE reactionary and oppressive ones." 'NUFF SAID!