First, I want to congratulate my friend who talks almost as fast as me while managing to be far less awkward, Jennifer Lawrence, who took home the Oscar for best lead actress in Silver Linings Playbook; an awesome, upbeat film demanding new regard towards mental challenges. Jen, I wore your coat for twenty minutes and feel like I should sell myself on eBay now. You're that hot in Hollywood. Congrats.

Ah, film. I've forged such an intense bond with the movie industry through my Hunger Games experiences and love for the art, power, and humanity behind this business. So what are my Oscar rituals? This year I bought a red carpet and an award to give to whoever guessed the most winners correctly, but mostly it's a constant struggle between

A) Sighing nostalgically at how classy Christopher Plummer is

and

B) Sighing nostalgically at imagining one of my movie adaptions earning such an award.

Movies from books, other than backhand work, such as costume, cinematography, and original score (all extremely important ingredients, by the way), have more particular challenges when it comes to being recognized by the Academy. It certainly happens -- this years' Silver Linings, last year's The Help, Lord of the Rings, etc. But these recognitions mainly occur, I think, when the film warriors completely pioneer and eclipse the novel into its own craft of filmography. In some ways, I think Peter Jackson's rendition of The Lord of the Rings honors Tolkien's story even more powerfully than the novels, not the mention the sheer beauty of his scenery and presentation.

But where is the love for the authors?

I understand Tolkien went to be with Frodo, but even when authors do have their stories acknowledged at the Oscars (notice, sadly, the novels of public sensation - Harry Potter, Hunger Games, etc. - largely disregarded, in part due, I think, to the commercialism such success gives; which unspokenly seems to disqualify them for sophisticated commendment) they're never called up. In fact, are the authors even THERE?

Okay, let's just run things over again.

EMMY - Television. GRAMMY - Music. OSCAR - Film. TONY - Theater.

And authors get the Pulitzer, Newberry, and Oprah's Book Club stickers. None of which allow authors to stand upon a stage with millions of viewers and an audience in tuxedos, blinking tears from their eyes as they explain the meaning behind their work. I know we're arrogant enough. But our art is as poignant to society as any of the awarded crafts you see above.

She likes me! She really, really likes me!

Anyway. Moving on. To what this post is really about.

Damn straight.

The Bachelor is one of those rare shows of who's participation in I would wish upon both my worst enemies and my best friends. I had the immense pleasure of describing the show to Laura last night, who had no idea what it was.

First, I disclosed the concept. Twenty girls, one guy, Hunger Games battle to the death for him.

Brian: You're exaggerating. Stewie: Only a little bit, that's the messed up thing!

Which, yeah, when you put it that way it sounds even more ridiculous than it really is (or...nevermind).

But while some Bachelors/Bachelorettes are real jerks or got nothing but roses upstairs, there are worse situations one could be in than competing to the death for Sean Lowe.

Is it too late to sign up for this season?

Here is why I would win the Bachelor.

We all know this is a pageant. However, with such amazing and unrealistically glamorous dates planned, paid, choreographed, and documented by ABC for the Bachelor/Bachelorette, MY dates would be EXCLUSIVELY HAND-CHOSEN TO REQUIRE EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF *SPECIAL* ASSISTANCE AND STAND OUT FROM ALL THE OTHERS.

It would be really good publicity. Really good television. ABC could even sell us to Lifetime and Hallmark afterwards. And Oprah. (She likes me! She really, really likes me!)

And then, of course, everyone who knows me would know that the only real reason I was on the show would be so Liam could pull a Gale and watch the screen with hidden, heartbroken jealousy whenever I kiss the gentlemanly blonde.

But if you're like me, a humble VIEWER, the only reason you WATCH is so Chris Harrison can appear out of NOWHERE for the Rose Ceremony, rub his hands together sympathetically, and, although everyone SEES it's the final rose say, "Ladies, Sean...this is the final rose tonight. When you're ready."

And then leave as instantly as he appeared. (Chris Harrison on Ellen: "...You realize how little I do on this show right? Don't take away the one thing I do!")

Well readers, this must be the first post I've written without something deeply intimate, profoundly spiritual, or sincerely enlightening to the meaning of life and the human condition. I'll leave you all to rest your minds. In the meanwhile, while I pet him and coo at how beautiful and sweet he is, I better go put more ointment on my dog's pelvic rash.

Brian: You're exaggerating. Stewie: Only a little bit, that's the messed up thing!

(Yes. World building requires more than maps. Lol jk we all drew maps.)

"Wake up. We're here. Why are you shaking? Wake up. Stand up. There you go. What's your name?"An oaken hull, sacks of grain draping over the beams of the lower deck's closet, and a cold, harsh voice speaking to you. A bare-chested Dunmer stands before you, steel-grey skin and a long scar running right through one of his bright red eyes. His voice grinds from his throat."Well, not even last night's storm could wake you."And, in ten seconds, we are engulfed in Morrowind.That's the opening scene of the game -- the third of the Elder Scrolls series which I so openly declare one of the prominent inspirations for my work in the fantasy genre.Today, we are going to be talking about world building and how you as an author can create an immerse, believable, intricate world through your writing. A topic of paramount importance to fantasy and science fiction writers especially, I'm going to show you 5 elements of your world that need to be developed and capitalized upon in order to surround your reader in a place they won't want to leave.

1.CallousnessYou know your world. Your characters have lived in it their entire life. They're used to it. Treat it that way.You're not going to explain every interesting building or every reason someone refers to a past event. Your readers can catch up. In fact, they'll LIKE being treated like one of the regulars in this world. That's how immersion starts. Make it so alien to them and yet so normal to the others that they are FORCED to live in it - explore it, breathe it, be fascinated by it - as if it really exists.This, of course, is one reason why first person is usually a little easier (I didn't say better, I said easier), to introduce the reader to a new world. The narrator is the person who's blase, who's lived in it forever.Take Hunger Games for example.

Katniss has this "deal-with-it," attitude. I live in Panem. Here are the facts. I've dealt with it. Now you can. Let's go not kiss the really hot guy I'm ALONE IN THE WOODS WITH EVERY DAY.Make sure your narrative and your characters adopt callous attitudes towards the world they live in. They can have opinions. They can have memories.They can describe details. But nothing should be new to them. Yet.

2. GovernmentHow is your world governed and, most importantly, how does it affect your character? Is it a kingdom? An Empire? Dictatorship? Republic? Democracy? Theocracy? Anarchy? If it's an empire, what are its diverse provinces? If it's a monarchy, who are its allies and enemies? If it's a dictatorship, whose the leader with absolute power? And WHY? And no matter WHAT you choose, make sure you have history behind it that YOU are aware of (not that you dump in the first two pages) that can be referenced throughout the book and explain WHY things are the way they are and what sort of repercussions it has on the story.

3. ReligionHere is one of of the most important ingredients, as it shapes the creed, temperance, motive, and heritage of your people, just as it does in the real world. What do your people believe in? What do they argue about? Have they a strong moral compass, or our their gods quarreling themselves? Is it monotheistic or polytheistic? Will the God/gods play a personal role in the story, or is their faith just as mysterious and debated and emotional as ours?

What about the power of the church? Does it have any influence over the government? Are the clergy benevolent or do they prey upon the gullible?

Shea's rendition.

(Look! I painted Talos myself!)

Determining the religion in your book should tint everything else about the world you created in subtle ways. With my fantasy book, religion revolved around fire not existing; heralded as demonic. Therefore, what, can you guess, became the theme of righteousness?

Yep.

Water was dripped over foreheads in churches, painted in stained glass, injected into architecture, drizzled throughput entire cities on man-made waterfalls, locked in the Emperor's very desk.

Religion should be as prevalent in your story as it was in mine -- or NOT prevalent, if that IS the religion. Maybe most of your people are atheists. Why? And how does that affect the world? Less reverence for life? More? This is your chance to subtly and naturally (the ONLY way allowed in writing) to seep in your own faith.

We all believe we'll see something the moment when die, whether that be light or darkness.

What does your character believe they'll see?

4. History

No matter what era your world is currently in, it was around before the reader visited. Make that present. Immerse them in history and legends so rich, they wish you'd write a prequel. Make them find the past just as fascinating as the present. When designing fantasy/sci-fi worlds, you have to think forward, backward, and sideways. Think of the world as two mirrors facing each other, delving on forever and ever. If you can give your reader the impression that this world has so much history and wonder, it is impossible to discover everything, or that is has so many endless possibilities for the future that it could go on for infinity, they'll never want to leave.

And LASTLY.....

5. Make Them Citizens

It's a complex challenge. We want to constantly dazzle our readers with ingenuity and originality, and yet we need them to feel accustomed in this world, and eventually to feel a kinship towards it. Going back to #1, approach your style in a direct way, so that they don't feel they are being toured around your world; rather, they feel like they are apprenticing citizenship, falling so deeply entrenched in the wonderment and intrigue that they will want to call THEMSELVES part of the ring's Fellowship, they will be desperate for THEIR Hogwarts letter. And the sole purpose of this task is so that when they feel an allegiance to the world, they will be shocked and will care when that world starts to change.

Sometimes, this happens upfront. Good. That's called initiating event. For me, I plunged the reader into the world immediately and clearly established fire's extinction. Then I barged it back into reality. If we're successful, it is then that our efforts pay off. The reader CARES that fire is back (...hopefully. Oh Lord). The reader UNDERSTANDS the magnitude of what it means. Of what dragons soaring back into the present from ancient history meant in Skyrim. That care and surprise is what will have their eyes riveting over the lines of your manuscript.

Am I missing a number here? Anyone have a #6 for me? I can never learn enough from the real pros out there now reading this page.