Where Stuff Gets Rated

Tag: 2.3

Belize is the only country in Central America with English as its official language. I thought for the last 20 years that the map of Spanish-speaking countries in the back of my high school Spanish book was accidentally miscolored, but nope. It’s also the only English-speaking country in the world where no one reads Stuff Rater. I don’t know why, I talk English real good. 2.3/5

Shaving is fine to do, so long as I’m not the one doing it. Usually I just hack the fuzz off my face with a beard trimmer once a week or so, but in May of this year the cashier at McDonald’s called me “ma’am” and I was so flummoxed I didn’t know what to do except for let my beard just grow for the next six months, so I haven’t even done that recently. Anyway, shaving makes my skin break out. 2.3/5

Yes, I know Frankenstein is the doctor, not the monster. Yes, I know I’m supposed to call it “the creature” instead of “the monster.” But let us be honest with ourselves, this is a thing that murdered the entire Frankenstein family because it was sad about being ugly. My parents made me ugly and I just developed a really cutting sense of humor and off-and-on major depression. There are other ways to deal, Frankenstein Monster. 2.3/5

The hula hoop is a toy that you just kind of wriggle around inside and it keeps spinning around your waist. The world record for hula hooping is 74 hours and 54 minutes. My personal record is three. Not hours. Not minutes. Three times. 2.3/5

Who even eats these? All the good parts of oranges are in orange juice. The rest is just packaging, and that thing at the bottom looks uncomfortably like a butthole. Still I like that oranges are named after what color they are, which is convenient, and also a total power move against all the other orange fruits. 2.3/5