Hey all!
I received my contest prizes today, and just thought I'd say 'thank you' to everyone by sharing with you what I did with them.
Once the package arrived, I immediately put on the hat & shirt, spritzed with the can of 'Jig-a-Loo', and slid into GameStop to spend the gift card!

After looking long and hard, I finally found a game that truly spoke to me;

After 20 hours of racous gameplay I eventually passed out, only to awake hung over in a Tijuana prison cell with a raging case of Gonorrhea and missing a kidney!
Thanks I-Mockery!