Bee BLOG

As we roll into our third and finally winter month (yaaaaaay), us Montrealers are thriving through to reach the promise of springtime. The promise of days in which the glacial wind doesn’t tear off your face or make your skin crack. The promise of days when you aren’t wearing 10 pounds worth of gear to confront the cold weather but then die of heat in the trenches of the metro lines. Finally, the promise of sunshine, terraces and sandals. Until then though…we grunt and humph at the weather forecast, hopelessly trapped in a giant snow globe. Yet, some of us still find motivation to focus on what’s coming ahead: the promised land or springtime! ​It is true that, by nature, I have always been one to have stamina. Don’t get me wrong though, I am definitely not invincible. While I do think part of my motivation is innate, I realize that there are also behavioural preferences that I have that encourage me on a daily basis. In the hopes of wanting to inspire (and not dictate or pretend I am a life coach), here are a few things that I do every day that I am convinced help me focus on the positive and to just GSD.​

The things:

I wake up early everyday

My 5:30AM workout

(Amendment: I sometimes skip on weekends)5AM to be precise. ​​You might think I set my alarm on at an ungodly hour because I now live in the suburbs. Sure, part of it is true. However, if I’m going to get up early, I may as well do it and truly profit from the early hours of the day. In early January, I started a beachbody workout program that I could do from home (Transform:20). I wanted a physical activity routine that I could do from home, as I was used to having a gym in my building and going to ballet class close to work. While I could still go to ballet class if I wanted to, the truth is, my motivation is NOT at an all-time high after a day of work. No matter how much I love ballet, I did find it challenging to wait around at work, change, go to class and arrive home very late. I often lost my momentum. That's the problem right there: when you have time between you and a task, you have time to change your mind. I need something I can do as soon as I decide so as to not delay and potentially kill my motivation. So, beachbody with Shaun T it was and man...am I not disappointed!

For me to be able to take my time in the morning, I wake up around 5:30AM, put on my workout clothes and head down to the basement to train for 20 non-stop minutes. The feeling of validation that comes after this is priceless. Working out first thing in the morning, as I used to do back a few years ago, truly is what works best for me. After that, I can tackle anything the day brings. The fact that I took care of myself first allows me to better focus on the rest of my day and not think "oh yeah, I have to work out after work"....nope! It's DONE.

There is something secretive about waking up at the crack of dawn as well. The sense of power that I feel when I rise is what keeps me coming back. It is as though I am alone in the world, possessing all the freedom and time to do as I please. Key trick: preparing my workout gear the night before. and I mean down to the socks and shoes. This sets my mind to it before going to bed and when I wake up, it’s right there waiting for me, inciting me to go. By doing so, I eliminate all decision making in the morning and I just go train.

​So, when I arrive at work for 9AM, no one really knows that I already worked out, responded to emails and basically, already GSD.

Shoes waiting for me in the morning...

I listen to music everyday

I still believe that the best invention to date is portable music. The Walkman, the ipod, now the smartphone, which allows me to store all my favourite and new music as I travel between places. If you know me, you know that music is an incredible source of inspiration and energy for me. It takes me places, it makes me dream, it's a time traveling machine. Though I do add new music regularly, I don’t tire of the same songs. I rediscover them. I’ll hear the instruments in a different way, I’ll experiment the movement of the emotions again and get goosebumps, and then sometimes, exactly the right song will start playing as I get off the train to start my march to the office and it will be just the song I needed to hear. I swear it’s like my life has its own soundtrack! I once had the 435 express bus pass right in front of me and as it was stopped at a red light, the song “Pray for me” by the weeknd started playing in my earphone…you know it. The fire inside me ignited and I ran like someone was chasing me, caught up to that bus and the driver opened the doors for me with a wink. My daily dose of music keeps me sane and charged with positive vibes, simple as that.

Yes. Another small victory...​So when I put those earphones in and start walking, my heart and soul are getting replenished by music. Which leads me to my next point.​

I walk everyday

I have become a pedestrian since I moved to the city over ten years ago and since I left, that hasn’t changed. I refuse to get a second car until I really need to get one. In fact, I walk more now than I used to. Why? Well, first of all, I can’t rely on the buses in wintertime nor do I want to feel the pressure to. So I often walk from the train station to the office (ok, except in minus 30 weather, when I take the metro) and then back again from the office to the train station. As I walk, I am in charge. I have my music and march to my own beat. I am often reminded of the freedom that comes with the ability to walk. Not something all of us have.

I take in the scenery, I let my mind drift to what’s in front of me: people passing me by, bright and inviting shops, confusing construction signs, the smell of waffles mixed with tar?? yep, that's Montreal! A perfect mix that creates the vibrations of the city I love. What a privilege it is to be able to feel energy so palpable simply by walking through it and letting my nervous system absorb it all. I then hop on the train and unwind with a book or...more music.​

I am silly everyday

Don't be sorry, be silly!

One of the things I do on the regular too is share silly moments with everyone around me. Either in person, by phone or by ping, you may be receiving something from me like a text, a recording, a meme that will make you laugh. I love to laugh and enjoy the camaraderie that comes in building long-term friendships. Those little in-between moments help us know each other better and build trusting relationships. There are moments when I obviously need to be serious and focused while others welcome sarcastic remarks and the healthy banter between friends and colleagues. Unlike some, I am not afraid to be a goofball and appear ridiculous. Je n’ai pas peur du ridicule, je suis le ridicule.

I sweat the small stuff enough as it is that when I do laugh, I laugh hard and let go. I take a step back and remember that whatever pressure I feel is usually not all that unbearable; I have the means to get through it. It reminds me not to take life so seriously after all. I have inside jokes with just about everyone I know. Every friendship or colleagueship has its personality and special characteristics. To me, that is what makes life meaningful. How grateful I am to be surrounded by phenomenal people, people I believe in. Individuals possessing incredible knowledge as well as in-depth desires to achieve their goals and demonstrate tremendous kindness and respect to everyone. At work especially, we all joke around, nerds that we are, and make work a true fun place to be. This is also why I would not want to work from home more than once or twice a week. I’d be missing out on the city and on those small moments that make us grow together. ​

I listen to paul arcand every day

So I have a confession to make...I am totally addicted to the radio in the morning. The moment I rise, I march right over to the bathroom and before anything else, I turn on my super old yet immortal Sony radio to 98.5. It's really early and while the entire world seems to still be sleeping, I like to have the company of a rational voice with me, even if it's just 10 minutes before my workout. The voice I long to hear though is that of Paul Arcand and his fabulous team Puisqu’il faut se lever #PQFSL. They go on at 5:30AM and I love listening to Paul and the way he shares the news and point of view to the city. His voice is on my little radio and also on in the kitchen as I do my smoothie and all the way on the train as I sip my coffee. I don’t want to miss anything! I feel like I know everything that’s important as my day begins. I also love how Paul isn’t afraid to challenge his guests when he interviews them and speaks for us citizens. He is VERY knowledgeable and so is his amazing team.

I remember when my parents would listen to him when I was younger; I wanted nothing to do with news. All I wanted was music. Now though, I really love the conversations and being in the know. I am part of that second generation who was originally forced to listen and who now wants to listen. I don’t know what I would do without them in the morning. It's one of those things I know I can always count on every day. I love how organized they are and the flawless chemistry that connects them. Not only do they deliver top stories and important commute information in a timely fashion, their sense of humour, hilarious sound effects and natural way of caring for Montrealers and surrounding regions keep up listeners hooked. #PQFSL je vous AIME!

Walk with purpose everyday

​I often get the “You’re tiny but we can hear you coming from so far!” comment. Perhaps it’s the dance, perhaps it’s the tempo I need to feel, but all I know is that if you are a slow walker, please be kind and…get out of my way. I like to walk with conviction. I cannot walk without a beat. My steps have a bounce because I know where I am going and most likely, I am enthusiastic to get there.

While I get that not all of us are fast walkers, walking rapidly is more efficient. Sorry to say but slow-walkers intentionally or unintentionally impose their speed, or lack thereof, on fast-walkers. Meanwhile, the fast-walkers don’t disturb you: you see them and then they’re gone. I walk from the heels of my feet, it’s loud, and it gives meaning to my direction. The energy I send throughout my walk usually comes back to me.​

I enjoy coffee everyday

​If there’s something I can’t go without it truly is my coffee. It’s quite simple: I like the hotness, the taste and the cosy feeling it brings me. I enjoy every single sip and it makes my morning awesome. Lucky for me, ever since the move, Phil and I splurged on a top of the line filter coffee machine that is programmable. So every morning, I get a fresh brew and my awesome husband preps my little thermos for me. As the train pulls me into town, I combine glorious coffee sips to Paul Arcand’s awesomeness and those are little moments of gratitude and yes, another small victory!

So, by 8AM, I already engaged in three or four of my preferred behaviours: my workout, my fave radio show, my coffee, which will then be followed by walking, music and most certainly, silliness! You see...everything is connected and each of those little rituals have a purpose and thus, a positive psychological impact on me.

Do you have favorite activities, hobbies, rituals that keep you engaged and enthused?

Bee motivated xx

What the past 6 weeks have been like, waking up at 5AM and training 6 days a week :)

November and March, I have noticed, always come with the end and the beginning of something important in our life. Ya? ​November can feel particularly harsh however as we have just rolled back our clocks and the sun essentially sets at 4PM. Thankfully, Christmas lights have already made their appearance in the busy city and tranquil suburbs, brightening the remainder of our day.

Since November isn’t always an easy month, I thought of making this post about the small moments.

Moments we take for granted as they seem insignificant or simply the transition from one bigger moment to another. Yet, it is in those in between instants that we can witness sweet innocence and blind vulnerability, even just for a second. And I come across them in the train a lot. Since I take the train almost every day now, it has given me time to sit back, enjoy my thermos coffee and read my book....while witnessing lots of these good old human moments. The ones that remind us that we are beings, simply going about our day in the best way we can. I want to share these with you. In hopes of restoring a bit of « faith in humanity » as the popular saying goes, distract you from your daily grind or just to let you know that, hey…you’re ok.

Without further ado, the list of sweet and innocent human instants or gestures I have witnessed in the past month :

The woman who wisely sits on the aisle side of the train seat every morning, saving the vacant spot beside her for her buddy (who will only get on the train two stations later)

The group of three guys who always sit in the same two-by-two seats that face each other, clearly morning people as they are always engaged in long conversations and smiling at each other

The guy sitting beside me, highly concentrated on an assignment perhaps, yet calmly typing away and working with purpose, aware of the train ride eventually coming to a stop

That young lady sitting across from me wearing glasses, with her stuff all spread out on the entire seat, carefully checking what seems to be an elaborate crochet work of an almost finished Santa Clause (which I complimented on my way out because holy $h*% bravo!)

A dude opening a bag of nachos and happily crunching them while watching the outside scenery

The student with a Jansport bag, swiping his hair to the left and bracing himself for yet another day of school before getting off at the next stop

A man casually applying lip balm before exiting the train

The man who ran after me while I was running for the bus simply to hand me back my favourite pair of leather gloves that I had dropped and would have never seen again

That one girl who strategically applied her mascara while the train was stopped

The same bus driver who greets me with a smile every day and who gives most passengers a break when they are running for it

Then there’s me, most likely munching on toast while listening to Paul Arcand or reading my book…fully taking comfort in that in-between moment while it lasts

It just feels as though, for those two minutes or seconds, we stand still while the world continues to run. And then before we know it, we’re off again. Yet many small moments of peacefulness, kindness and laughter add up to a pretty good day.

Have a great one!

Bee tiny moment appreciative!

Click here if you're having one of those moments right now...

​Hey there bee readers! After a super busy summer, I am happy to announce that we have hit quite a few home goals, decoratively speaking, and that I am slowly growing roots to the suburban life. Phil and I make quite the team as homeowners and though running a household differs in a million ways to living in a condo, I am loving it. I am also very glad to be in the city every day to get my fix, my Montreal!

​Quizzing you on The Gram this week, I asked you guys if you would like to read about how to deal with a patronizing person and pretty much everyone answered yes (ok full disclosure, one person said no. Tough.). This is something that I feel is an interesting topic as we most likely all come across individuals who feel they have the right to tell us how to live our life or just plant us with unsolicited advice that makes us feel we didn’t know what we were doing in the first place. While it’s fine to deal with it on occasions, it can be quite a different story if you have to see this person at work or almost every day.

Personally, I have a hard time handling criticism, so when someone does make a remark on how I’m cooking or the way I do my work, it had better be a credible source and the message better be constructive (and not destructive) i.e. someone who knows me well and who truly does have good intentions at heart. If not, I will process this as an insult and my brain will let it go straight to my heart and I got emotions behind the wheel again. But that’s me and I have come to know when this is triggered. Don’t catch me when I’m tired though, it won’t be pretty ;)

​So rather than shoot you some tips, I will take you through some of the thought process I sometimes go through to try and better understand where this “better than thou” approach comes from and consequently depersonalize it when I am faced with it.

First, as always, let us define what constitutes a patronizing individual. According to the online Merriam-Webster the patronizing adjective is:​

So this means the individual feels he or she is clearly superior to you and uses a tone that belittles others. Let’s take a step back and see how they got to behave that way (and of course, we have all used a patronizing tone dare I say a few times in our lives but I am referring to the permanent patronizing kind of course).​

Beliefs and nurturing

Psychology 101 for the patronizing will always look at nature and nurture within childhood experiences. That is, what has this person known as a child to be rewarding? What was this person praised for? Whatever the answer is has most likely forged the set of beliefs for this person.​If, for example, little Paul was particularly rewarded for academic performance by his parents, he will most likely seek to repeat this in adulthood within the workplace, dismissing others who can’t keep up with his over-achieving manners. In fact, Harry Levinson from Harvard Business Review in the « The Abrasive Personality » piece mentions that

such a person is most usually extremely intelligent. With a passion for perfection, accuracy, and completeness, he pushes (himself) very hard and can be counted on to do a job well, often spectacularly

​I find this to be true as well. The trouble is, people with such behavioural preferences tend to forget individual differences and will perhaps omit empathy (sensitivity, what it’s like to be in the other person’s shoes) when interacting and that is the part that will be abrasive and condescending. ​

Life experiences

​What has this person known (aside from the parenting style they received) that has fostered the perfect environment for this hard “I am in charge” attitude? Have they taken care of an ill loved one? Were they the first born of three or more children and continuously responsible for them? Could they rely on trusted adults, a support system or did they always have to fend for themselves all the time?

If this person has essentially be trained to always be the “manager” of a team at a critically young age, it comes to no surprise that their natural behavioural preference be to patronize or cut you off and tell you how to do it. This is what has enabled them to succeed in most situations. This is how they survived when no one else was there to throw them a life line.

Harry Levinson mentions of the example he describes as abrasive that:

He (the abrasive character in the article) tends to want to do the job himself, however, finding it difficult to lean on others who he feels will not do it to his standards, on time, or with the required finesse.

​career

​​In fact, if you are dealing with a person who continuously infantilizes you, stop to think what job this person holds. Is there a tendency in their employment choices? Is this person an actual manager of some kind and used to making decisions and calling the shots? That too may be contributing to their natural reflexes to want to give “unsolicited” advice since they are literally paid to do so and sometimes cannot seem to punch out when getting home or attending social events. Especially if they are in the presence of a victim type individuals (also known as the eternal complainers that hold zero accountability for their situation - but that's another kettle of fish) upon which they can pray and further feed the self-glorification of the patronizing lifestyle.

…and in the case where the person is not of significant superior intellect, perhaps they just have crappy social skills. That is, they mean well but don’t quite know how to express it and it leads to awkward moments. That's a little easier to resolve, simply redirect the conversation or shower with kindness since clearly, the person doesn't know any better.

Wherever the patronizing soul stems from though, the second I realized and understood where it came from, I was able to better detach from condescending remarks. While they remain stuck on how they do it better, they miss out on the bigger picture. After all, it must get lonely at the top of their know-it-all mountain if they can't admit their own weaknesses and recognize other's competencies.

Hopefully, this can help some of you as well in the face of patronizing peeps! Let me know what you think in the comments below, I appreciate your feedback :)

​Did you think I forgot about you? That I let my blog go…? NEVA! Or at least, not yet ;) The last time I shared my thoughts, I was living in the city about to start packing my boxes to a new journey in the suburbs. Understandably so, MUCH had to be done from then until now: planning, logistics, wrapping and all the while slowly stripping myself of my Griffintown badge. Since leaving the city is such a big deal for me, I thought I would give you an update on how it all went down and a few psychological factors that came into play. Also, I will share some realities that occur when arriving in a new hood/home and what helped me out most throughout the process.

On June 15th, we traded our efficient city nest for a real suburban bird house. Ok full disclosure: we crashed at my parents’ for almost a month since we were only getting the keys to our new home on July 9th. May the universe bless and guard such generous and welcoming individuals for putting up with my chaos.

Getting into Gear with the new

So after we packed our boxes, lived with them for a while, then unpacked them…I found myself super excited but also, quite overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the physical and cerebral energy of the move but also by the home itself and it felt like so much was going on at the same time. It was weird. “What am I doing here?” part of me thought “did we really need all this space? The city’s so far away…”. Say waaaaaat?!? This was clearly old Ivana talking mixed with fear. This was also 100% normal. Considering that environment and culture are VERY important to me (says so in my psychometric test results too), I had just lost my highly active and stimulating hood along with my good old habits, my morning routine which I had perfected down to every second and most of all, I just missed the feeling of being “home”.I had two choices:

Keep looking back and complain about the change (K full disclosure: I did that for a while. I’m a Leo: coolest personality, hottest temper) but then, what? Go back to a squeezed condo and do the same thing over again? No. Even old fearful Ivana knows that’s not right.

OR Jump in and get back to my enthused self I mean c’mon!! I always wanted a house, it was just a bit scary now that it was actually here. All three floors of it looking at me expectantly.

I chose option 2 and that’s when I realized that I needed to set up camp in this new home ASAP and set up camp we did. In a few weeks we had transferred in and with lots of help, got lots done. Slowly but surely, I was already developing new reflexes for my new home. The moment I did that, the pages of my life at the Lowney were slowly turning to let a new chapter begin. The one where I actually have room for my drums!

I said I would share a few tips on what helped me most during our move, and still today as we are still unboxing and getting settled in.

sustain structure while accepting chaos

I was no pro at moving since this was my very first official move. Moving downtown was relatively easy since we had no furniture and purchased everything more or less as we moved in. So this time, I knew I needed to establish a system. It really helped to have a structured way of packing. This may seem trivial but writing the name of the room in which the packed items are is ESSENTIAL but also writing a few of the packed items on the box will help you remember where everything is, should you for example be looking for something important in the middle of it all. N.B. The person who does most of the packing will be responsible for knowing how all objects are regrouped, if you don’t want that responsibility to yourself, share it with your partner and get him or her involved in the joys of packing.

On the other hand, as much as structure helps in staying organized and abreast of things, there will be moments of pure chaos where one does not know where everything is and there are just boxes everywhere and all your stuff is mismatched. That doesn't matter anymore. You need to survive and that means accepting that you won't be as efficient right away in your new routine. For a while. I'm working on that.​

GSD LISTS

Having a TO-DO list. That simple. I have a notebook in which I write all of what needs to be done, even of it’s an OBVIOUS task that you are sure to remember. Write that sh*t down. There is so much to think of, do yourself a favour and release your hippocampus from having to hold all that information for too long. It was so efficient, Phil and I were addicted to that notebook and kept close tabs on it. Sure enough, all was getting crossed off in a timely fashion.​

advice: take some, leave some

So as with every situation come the experts. I have no problem in hearing tips and tricks (as I am sharing some myself right at the moment), but both the attitude with which it is presented and the credibility of the source are important. Also, keep in mind that you may be tired and wired and therefore not receptive to hearing any of what other people have to tell you about your move (not theirs). So far the best advice I heard was “live in the house before hurrying set it up” which I 100% agree with. While there are things you can easily buy (TV, couch, bed), the rest will require time to get to know the house and your habits around it. Unlike the condo where we got to select our colour scheme, cabinets, tiles and floors, a new house is not a blank canvas. You have to work with what's there and with a budget. Styles and décor are so personal and everyone will have their two cents. Take some, leave some.

crushing crappy comments

“Wow, all this space for TWO people!” – to which I respond that my pet zebra, giraffe and two monkeys will be moving in too to fill the space. Oy….really? Then again, when we first got the condo everyone was all “but it’s so small”. People will judge.“OMG so much cleaning to do!” – FALSE! Though I have heard this one right left and center, I have had LESS cleaning to do. How? There air is clean in the suburbs. There is simply less dust, period.“OMG you have to water the grass” – FALSE! Just kidding, that one’s TRUE I just wanted to make your eyebrows lift for a bit. Lucky me I have a husband who is all over that. And there is nothing like the sight of him happy and satisfied holding a huge bucket full of pulled out weeds.

building bridges

While we left the proximity of friends in the city, we also gained back our childhood friends who remained in the West Island. We also have had many cool new neighbours welcoming us with friendly gifts and kind greetings. They don’t know it yet but I’m planing on making some sweet treats for them too, ya know, once I know where my mixer is. Just kidding. it’s on the top right of the left cupboard. Like I said, structure.While I was always so attached to the city, here are some awesome newfound perks of the suburban life if you are one still debating:

Privacy. This one’s big. While I loved the mingling effect of condo living, the last few years were a little rougher than I’d like to admit in putting up with strangers. I now have a backyard I can chill in. No more cigarette or god-knows-what-else smoke, loud (and not good) music at night, people’s trash and bad habits

Two words: walk-in closet

SPACE: no more playing Tetris to store anything and no more being a contortionist to get to anything

Music: I will be getting a piano and my drums back, finally!

Hot baths! In the city, we had opted for a shower with no tub. Now? bubbles, candles, classical music with a good book. That is my treat after work.

Embracing the train ride: so far the train has never been late. While this does mean I am regimented by train schedules (I choose not to drive in the city), it forces a clean cut with leaving work at a certain time and the ride enable me to relax, listen to my music and let my thoughts drift…

The sheer amount of sunlight that enters the home is phenomenal. This was a key element in purchasing our home (sun orientation in the backyard especially). However I am delighted at the amount of sun that lights up every room throughout the day.

The birds do chirp and it’s lovely.

Slowly but surely, we are taking care of this lovely new home and I am beginning to feel as one with it. It will take time to be fully set up and all decorated but we are taking the advice of first living in it to see what we need.To this day, I still find it hard to believe that ten years have gone by since our early days in the Griffintown hood. Back when there were no restaurants open for brunches on weekends, one pharmacy, one expensive grocery store and everything had yet to develop. In a snap, or so it seems, everything popped up like mushrooms. New condos buildings, four new pharmacies, SAQ, Winners, Dollarama, etc. This reassures me, because it also means that the REM (Réseau Express Métropolitain) is sure to appear faster than we expect. But that’s for another post! Until then, this city dweller still takes long walks on St-Catherine’s street to recharge her nervous system before headed to the bird chirping suburban dream.Have YOU moved this year? Do you feel connected to your community? New Bee hive xx

I have been quiet on my blog as I was busy with interesting work projects, a vacation in Guadeloupe (made a video of course) and other important life events as well. And as I write this on my balcony, a loud pounding sound is slicing through my every thought. Summer is upon us and monster construction has awoken yet again. The hammering of heavy machinery at ungodly hours, the dust that accumulates and that I breathe on a daily basis and not to mention complexity of getting around town, even as a pedestrian. As a Montrealer having lived in the city for ten years, I can take my fair share of noise, chaos and nonsense. Like any other urban person, sirens and crowds are part of the daily hustle. This year though, something has changed.

​It has come to a point where everywhere I look, there’s an orange sign that says « RUE BARRÉE », everywhere I walk, there’s an orange sign that says « DÉTOUR », every day, there’s an additional set of scaffolding that spreads out and makes me reroute yet again. Every day, there’s a clear sign in my head that my good old routine is hanging on by a thin thread.

While I know my city is undergoing overhauls for great real estate development while getting a major facelift, my tolerance for the mayhem and space limitations has reduced through time and what was once stimulating has become irritating. It no longer feels like I can grow the way I want to. No, I am not referring to having children, though that could also be problematic, rather, there’s no room to experience anything different. ​

If I want to play the piano or the drums, host a decent dinner with my family, not have to be a contortionist to grab a glass of wine or reach for the vacuum…or how about having my own front door? That could be cool.

Then I wondered.

Is it just the city that’s changed or could I be…no. Could it be? I, Ivana, the eternal city dweller, is ready to trade the city buzz for grass? What’s next, The Beatles suck?

It was inevitable, I had to face the toughest person out there: myself.​

​As with any change, heart to heart talks with your expert judgmental self are essential. Being a nostalgic soul and one who strives on the efficiency of routine, I knew far too well that moving would be difficult. When I first came to live in the city, I immediately fell in love with its vibe and pedestrian lifestyle. The never-ending flow of people charges my nervous system like nothing else. The festivals, artistic activities, beautiful building juxtapositions everywhere…I never imagined ten years would go by so fast. It truly does fly when you have a blast and I latched on tight.

That’s just it though, time is not stopping and while living in a lovely and modern condo in the city has been glorious, we have outgrown our shell a while ago now. It was never meant to be the “forever home” and life cannot just revolve around practicality.

I finally feel that a shift is necessary to experience something else. Something big. A place that feels like home, and we have finally found it! Though I'm super excited to take the plunge, I know this means making choices and saying good bye...Good bye to something that has been home for a decade now. But it's time. Time to let go of the past and welcome new traditions! ​

I will forever be a city dweller, that’s not going to change, and thankfully, I’ll be coming to town every day to get my fix ;)

Though I know it will take some time to adjust to my new suburban environment, it is one that I know well and am more than ready to be reacquainted with now! And while I am thrilled to jump forward, I can’t help but look back and wink at my Griffintown hood as I leave yet another piece of my heart and youth there.

Bee moving! x

In 2011 I had wanted to make a happy and fun video of the city life, showing what a night on the town with my girlfriends was like. I only got around to editing the footage this year, which is perfectly timed with my move. The universe has a good sense of humour ;)

Ever wondered what psychological effects lunar phases have on human behaviour? In a holistic point of view, I certainly have! While the full moon significantly influences the movements of tides on the planet's oceans, what is to be said of the internal human tides? After all, are we not made up of water by 60%? Even if we disregard this fact, it would be hard to say that the amount of daylight that we see everyday does not impact out daily activities, let alone our mood. Why, one of the most legendary rock albums was named after the dark side of the moon, which by the way, just celebrated 45 years according to this article.

Animation by: Ivana Lemme

Myself? I was born in the summer so I am creature of the sun. Funnily though, my nonna always nicknamed me "lunella", which means little moon. The sight of the moon has since then taken on a special meaning to me. That being said, the Leo in me struggles with the winter months as I slowly turn into a pale ghost copy of myself and wonder why it is so difficult to get up in the morning. At first, we romanticize with fall, getting seduced by all that cocooning spirit and pumpkin spice lattes, making it easier to accept shorter and colder days. After Christmas though, the real challenge starts. And so here we are, middle of March with still no sign of springtime in the city, as usual. Clearly I am not the only one on this planet being affected by sunlight, right? According to all the Instagram posts I see about Montreal snow and weather: right.

What about the lunar phase we were born in? Does that not also influence what kind of individual we are and become? Do you wonder about how the lunar activities we are born under predisposes us to a personality type more than another? Amazingly, you can find out by checking out moonglow.com ! This unique jewelry company can tell you exactly what moon phase you were born in and what it means, along with personality tendencies for each. The best part? you can immortalize any precious day and its moon phase in the jeweler of your choice. Say whaaat?! Yep! Bracelets, necklaces, bangles, earrings, pendants and more. Another cool feature that will bring out your inner child? When exposed to daylight, the moon will glow in the dark.

Want to encourage local business? Know that Moonglow saw its first days in 2003, with Canadian artist Luc Rouleau and that all products are hand-finished here in Canada. Moonglow has since added many other new products to their line such as the Byron bracelet, meteor necklace in rose gold, my two personal favorite purchases, and many other styles. There are still the classics from the very beginning like the birthstone necklace in pewter which I also received as a gift from my mother in law many moons ago ;)

For the Byron bracelet, I chose the June 20th 2015 moon to celebrate my wedding anniversary. For the rose gold necklace, I chose my birthday moon! In doing so, I found out I was born in the waning crescent and here is what Moonglow states about that lunar period:

WANING CRESCENT PERSONALITYWaning into total darkness, the moon’s shrinking light may decrease illumination in the night sky yet intensifies psychic illumination for those born under its influence. Feeling attuned to psychic experiences and dreamy, otherworldly dimensions is not uncommon as the imagination is in full force during this slim moon phase. Their challenge is not to lose sight of the real world while staying connected to this spiritual gift from the Universe that bridges them to energies beyond the earthly realm." -Moonglow

Fascinating and intriguingly accurate! All of this magnificent jewelry is available for purchase at www.moonglow.com. What about you bee reader, which lunar phase were you born in? Which moon date would you chose to wear?

Three amazing women making a living of their art and passion: The entrepreneur, the ballerina and the photographer. Last Saturday, at 12:56PM, I was getting out of a taxi while carrying at least four bags and running on the snow covered sidewalks of Griffintown to make a photoshoot appointment I had organized with a ballerina and her student in a private wine club. That's right, you read correctly. I was meeting two dancers and a photographer to capture the grace and beauty of ballet at Le PARLOIR- caves privées. Why oh why would I do this? In the world of me, why NOT ?

The entrepreneur: Le PARLOIR - Caves Privées

Leotard by Dell Aira Designs - Morgan Petroski Photography

Located on Guy street between Notre-Dame and William, Le PARLOIR is a private club that offers an innovating membership concept for wine collectors. Perfect for those who wish to grow their wine cellar space in the city (Ahem...or literally because you are running out of space), Le PARLOIR allows you to store your bottles in a space size and controlled temperature that is convenient for you while providing a gorgeous and private lounge to enjoy a glass of your favourite drink! When I say gorgeous lounge, I mean pretty much everyone who first enters this place has to pick up their jaw from the floor (I mean just look at this photo right here). With its brass bar stools, exquisite granite countertops and leather touches, the ambiance is that of an elegant vintage style and yet cozy with the velvety seaters, warm lighting and Persian rugs. Did I mention the music? Since it is a private club, the place is never overflowing with people and is perfect for small networking meetings, happy hour with close friends and being part of a wine loving community. It is of course possible to host a larger group for special events, but one must see about that with the lovely owner: Sandrine Balthazard!

Photo by MOETREAL

Possessing a B.Sc in Entrepreneurial and Organizational Leadership from HEC, Sandrine Balthazard is the founder of the fabulous PARLOIR. With her in-depth knowledge of the wine business and charming personality, Sandrine couldn't be a better pioneer and leader in the launch of this concept. One fine evening, Phil and I were hosting a traditional "Tuscan wine night" with good friends at Le PARLOIR, which let's face it, has become the extension of our living room at this point and while admiring the place as I had done a million times before, I suddenly saw ballet movements in perfect harmony with the beauty of this place. In my mind: a coupé passé over here, an adagio over there - YES! Being quite artistic herself (you should see her paintings), Sandrine agreed almost instantly as I suggested the photoshoot idea to her, quickly grasping the vision I had in my head and generously offered the lounge. Lucky me, I happen to know a certain ballerina who might be available for this...

The ballerina - DellAira Designs

Leotard by Dell Aira Designs - Morgan Petroski Photography

Having befriended the enchanting soloist Sahra Maira from Les Grands Ballets Canadiens, I couldn't help but think of her as the star ballerina for this project. When you meet someone as kind and as hard-working, it is inevitable. As some of you already know, this particular dancer leads a double career: one as an accomplished dancer and one as a seamstress. Not only does she dance, she also started DellAira Designs, her very own line of dance-wear. You can either buy from pieces she already made or pick the fabric, style and measurements and voilà! You got yourself a one-of-a-kind dance leotard or elegant outfit for a night out on the town. The demand for these leotards (and bike-tards!) is increasingly high as they are handmade and the quality is hard to beat. Much of her work is showcased in the photos of the shoot! Click here to check them out!

Needless to say, Sahra was thrilled at the idea and accepted to participate in this photoshoot project. Not only that, she suggested to bring one of her students, Lola Oliveras Lafrance, a brilliant addition to the team and introduced me to the wonderful individual who would crystallize this idea into reality...

The Dance Photographer - Morgan Petroski Photography

The one and only Morgan Petroski by Morgan Petroski Photography of course!

With a Bachelor's degree in Journalism and a background in documentary photography and portraiture, Morgan's professional work always tells a story. With many years of experience under her belt, it is quite impressive to watch her work: sizing the room, the ease witch which she identified the right angle down to the smallest of details. Morgan is also quite knowledgable of the ballet movements and poses, there was a strong understanding of the dance photography I had never seen before. She knew the ballet vocabulary and what poses would maximize the effect she was looking for and in talking with her, I discovered that she too had been a dancer for many years. Being a photographer capturing dancers truly is the combination of two passions!

Watching it all unfold right before my eyes was amazing. Everyone collaborating like we'd been doing this every weekend: Sandrine opening up shop for us and giving us carte blanche, Sahra and Lola organizing outfits and lacing up into pointes almost immediately, Morgan rearranging furniture (with the precious help of Dino!) and it all went seamlessly. The hours flew by and all day I watched the beautiful ballerinas jumping or posing so delicately, knowing well the necessary strengths behind every movement, under the conceptual eyes of Morgan. Aaaaand they also threw me in there for a a few shots, wearing a leotard that Sahra made special for me! (I love it!!) I don't have half the grace of a ballerina, but my heart as a writer and art advocate is full. Orchestrating this event which brought entrepreneurs, professionals and artists together and seeing the final product is so rewarding. Not only are all three women incredibly talented and dedicated, their kindness blew me away and made this project all the more memorable. Turns out, it was a pretty good idea after all...or perhaps I should let the breathtaking photos speak for themselves! ;)

​Remember the time when you stood in an elevator and the person walking in from another floor made eye contact with you? Said a low but precious “hi” or just acknowledged your presence somehow? It was cool, wasn’t it…

A few years ago, I was leaving work later one evening to go to ballet class. As I was waiting, I fetched my earphones to have my music ready for my commute. I actually try not to put my earphones on in the elevator out of respect for those around me but seeing that it was 7 pm, I figured there wouldn’t be anyone there. The elevator dings at its arrival, I step in and saw a gentleman standing there. Noticing my earphones the man commented on how the younger generation is always “connected”. What he did not know is that my music was not playing yet. The ONE time I decided to play my music in the elevator, I get busted AND judged for it, giving a bad name to my generation on top of it. It was for music, not candy crush, but I understand what it looks like from the outside. I of course immediately turned around, took my earpieces out and said smiling “not all of us ” to his surprise. Ever since then though, this further reinforced my habit of keeping my earphones out of sight so long as there are people around me in the elevator and on my way in and out of the work environment. Had this been the eighties, I would have had earphones and a chunky yellow Sony Walkman and the man would have made the same comment. He had a point though, must we always be connected?

By Giphy

Standing in the elevator my way down this week, I decided to pay attention to individuals walking in at each stop, as I usually do, but this time I noted who was looking up and who was looking down at their phone *crowd gasps in shock* Why would I conduct such an elaborate and scientific experiment you ask? I was curious to see how many of us make a conscious effort to have contact with others. And it IS a CONSCIOUS effort to battle the habit of automatically reaching for our phone to fill, what, one minute of an elevator ride with mindless phone browsing? We can hardly get a glance from anyone anymore. Someone actually saying hello seems to be a miraculous surviving breed of humans. Indeed, the social skills that were once presented during those few instants shared with strangers are slowly being pulverized by our attachment to our mobile phones. ​

Increasing efficiency at a cost...

By Giphy

This happens all the time of course. Those little in-between moments when we used to let our brain chill and relax while waiting to start the next task are now almost all occupied by, you know it, cell phone checking. When we stop to think of it, our phones are now computers that have the ability to take photos, share information and...oh yeah, make phone calls. With our lifestyle being that of speed, we try and stay productive each second of the day. Yet, the fact that smartphones offer the possibility to do more with them, especially checking social network sites, is what constitutes the instigation to addiction. Why? Because if those social networks (i.e. likes, comments) produce any kinds of positive feedback while we use them (which they do), that is what reinforces its use (James Robert, 2014).

According to Aric Suber-Jenkins in the What your smartphone addiction is doing to your brain article "Any entity that can produce a pleasurable sensation has the potential of becoming addictive”, quoting a study ran by James Robert, a marketing professor at Baylor University. Furthermore, Suber-Jenkins goes on to explains that according to the study, the features that are most commonly used on our cell phones - email, texting and social media – seem to activate the same neurological circuits that other more “traditional” addictions do. This seems alarming and yet, not surprising at all.

Alone time with our thoughts...

We find ourselves unconsciously searching for our cell phone to check emails pretty much anywhere and at any time. While it may be quite practical at times, this does reinforce a reflex to continuously verify the status of things on our smartphones or tablets to stay on top of things. This, in turn, goes on to essentially kill any innocently free moment we have to ourselves. Even a simple task like walking has become dangerously invaded by our mobile phones. All of these constant human-to-electronic device interactions leave us less time for human-to-human interactions. Our mobile phones activities are therefore unsurprisingly changing our cognitive reflexes and the manner in which we build and develop our relationships, and experts say this could even leave us with higher levels of social anxiety (Caglar Yildrim from Sandee LaMotte, 2017).

As if this wasn’t enough, technological advancements are actually fostering individuals to do more with their phone by asking us to cash cheques by phone, pay your milk and bread by phone, get your receipt by email, scan your plane ticket with your phone, scan your rebate coupon, etc. Once again, these are all very practical and paperless which is good for the environment (yaaay!) but while we are attempting to limit our phone usage, everything around us is encouraging us to use it. Get out of the way “FOMO” (Fear Of Missing Out) NoMophoBia is here! You read correctly, and this, of course, stands for “No Mobile Phone phoBIA”. Understandably a very common concept among us in 2018, mentions Sandee LaMotte (2017) in his article entitled “Smartphone addiction could be changing your brain”. In this piece the author reviews a variety of studies, though some using rather small study groups, revealing that the addictiveness of the smartphones could be hindering our ability to be attentive. In my opinion, this is a self-feeding cycle…

We are reinforced to use our cell phones by positive rewards like messages, likes, and comments which decrease our human interactivity in real time which consequently, in time, decreases our social abilities which then feeds the need to use our cell phones to fill the “awkward” moments we spend with strangers we don’t know how to interact with.

Tolerating, scratch that, enjoying the in-between moments of nothing

Luckily for previous generations, like mine, who grew up without these devices already possess a set of social skills (that did not include “filters”) and the awareness to catch ourselves in our habits and make an effort to control the use. The concern is for the later generations that may already be using these devices at a critical age where cognitive and social development occur. So, the psychology message behind this is to increase awareness of our phone usage from savage to normal and to not be afraid to take a break and slow down the pace. My way of doing so is to take back those peaceful moments when we are “in-between”: waiting for the bus or the metro, sitting in a lobby waiting for an appointment, waiting in line at the grocery store, walking home (ok I do have music then) and other moments like those to let my mind drift in a daydream and just bee… ;)

How about you? Do you find you are addicted to your smartphone or is it all good?

I got your attention with that title, didn’t I? This is quite a popular topic among bloggers, influencers and all other names you giveth thee. Considering the amount of information that is accessible on this topic, I thought it would be interesting to launch 2018 by exploring the behaviours around content creators. January and February can be a little slow while we are hanging in the winter vortex and many of us writers can be asking ourselves: what should I write about?

But first, what is content creation?

Put very simply, content creation is the act of, well, creating content. Pretty much what I am doing at the moment: writing about something, expressing thoughts targeting a certain audience. Content creation can also be photography, video montages and other types of format.

Back to the initial question: what should I write about?

Myself? I could write for days. In the world of me, a blank page is stimulating, like a blank canvas, it means possibilities. Why I have the stories in my head right now. The challenge is: will what I write be engaging? Will my content be informative? Because let’s face it, the motivation to write and share is usually to engage and inform, to inspire and transform one word at a time. That being said, even though we may have billions of ideas percolating in our head, it doesn’t mean that any of them will be a pertinent topic for the target audience. What would give our own content significant traction? What behaviours revolve around successful content creators? Since I am no content creator expert, I am in no position to give advice here. However, as a career counsellor expert, I have spotted a few psychological truths and behavioural tendencies that can explain part of the success these folks have. These are hardly secrets but I still think they should be explained and reviewed as it can take the pressure off and perhaps also engage and inspire? ;)

Source cred: Giphy

Content creators have a team. Don’t be fooled by the solo act. A behavioural tendency that these individuals have in common is that they are highly self-aware. They know their strengths and accept what their weaker links are and therefore, are not shy to invest in the proper tools they require to achieve their goals. Most online content creators that do well have a team assisting them in developing and maintaining their brand. An “entourage” if you will, of specialists like a glam squad for hair and makeup, photographers and touch up artists that will analyze every inch of those photos (...then again Botox, lip injection and teeth whitening frenzy are still very much present but between that and filters who can tell anymore?). Also, don’t go thinking all of those professional photos, videos, websites, logos, and more have magically appeared. There are graphic designers, advisors, “photoshopers” and more that are once again part of the team. Even if the creator is a photographer, for example, he or she will still need to take time to sort and edit. While they are doing all that, less time can be spent on generating more content. Which leads me to my next point...is all this time allocated to inventing material actually getting remuneration? That depends.

Is the content creator doing it to make a living out of it or just for the free props and events?

Source cred: Giphy

CEO of Media Shower, John Hargrave says: “Online content creators get paid far less than they are worth”. How true this is, at least for individuals starting out on their own and not creating content for an already existing business or company. Many are extremely talented and work through blood, sweat and tears at generating and editing posts, videos, texts but not a penny will roll in if there is no product or service to be sold. Apart from getting visibility through sponsors or YouTube Ads (and you will need a lot of those), as Hargrave explains in his article, there needs to be a business to sell or a second income. So what are the psychological or behavioural tendencies here? Prosperous online content creators are true social butterflies and have harnessed a solid network foundation long before launching social media channels. This audience ensures followership and increases business. Guess what, 80% of all employment opportunities are in the hidden market. Those precious contacts enable them to stay in the know of upcoming tendencies and new business opportunities.

Source cred: Giphy

Successful content creators are excellent communicators. They shine under the spotlight and have a natural talent for the written word and/or are very well spoken. They possess a clear vision as to where they want to take their followers and will do so with wittiness and a great sense of humour. The power to convince is a strong force but one has to be convinced to be convincing. Keeping it authentic is key. Their vision is what keeps them motivated and of course motivation fuels perseverance to achieve.

I have found that for most of the popular online content creators, education does not seem to have an impact on their credibility. At first glance, experience, name dropping, and followership are what define credentials. While I am certainly not saying content creators are uneducated, far from it actually. Degrees just don't appear to be a sought out thing in the "about/bio" section. This movement is quite interesting to some extent as entrepreneurial efforts and supporters are placed forward. There exists a vibe of encouragement, of boldness and excitement in launching one's brand online. Platforms like Facebook and Instagram have definitely evolved with their members and cultivated an even stronger adherence by creating business profiles. Allowing sellers and shoppers to coexist in a productive harmony.

On the other hand, the purchasing client should obviously be concerned if the individual is selling personal “counselling”. While there are many schools of thought, the individual should be a member of the appropriate professional association ensuring proper practice and that a certain code of ethics is being respected. That’s my career counsellor hat talking here ;)

Source cred: Giphy

In hopes that this article was informative and inspiring, these were my simple observations on what behaviours successfully shape content creation.What bloggers do you prefer most? What makes you read an article? What IGers do you find inspiring and why?I’d love to hear your thoughts/comments.Bee writing x

Author

My name is Ivana. I love photography and meeting people. I hold a Master's in counselling psychology and work as a career consultant. Music is my fuel and an important source of energy in my life. I drive my vespa around the city and I love what I do! :) About this blog: me on my artistic soap box!