Sunday, May 25, 2014

ברוכים הבאים למאה ה21 Welcome to the 21st century

True story: I ate breakfast with
someone I don’t ordinarily see, and she was waxing on about an amazing lecture
she’d heard on interpersonal relationships by therapist Hedy Schleifer.
Intrigued, when I got to work I looked up Shleifer and found her on TED.
Because I enjoy follow-through, i.e., telling the rest of you with whom I share
this planet that I’m listening to you; and assuming that most of us are flattered
and feel validated when what we say is followed up on, I shot my breakfast companion a mail with
the Subject line “Hedy Schleifer”. The body: “Found this. Will view later!”
Telegraphic, you say? Perhaps. Apparently, the recipient found it curt, even
offensive.

Smiling, I asked her at lunch
if she’d seen my mail. Here’s how the rest of the conversation went [recall
that ironically, Schleifer is now her interpersonal relations guru]:

OK, Schleifer Chasid and all
you other Earth-dwellers who haven’t get gotten the memo: You know those words
in e-mails (often “this” or “here”) that are in blue and underlined, as above?
Those are this 20th-century invention called hyperlinks. What
are you supposed to do with them? You left-click them with your mouse and they
lead you to a website, in which you presumably have some passing interest. It
saves us from having to write mails like the following:

Dear Breakfast Companion,

I was so intrigued by your
description of Hedy Schliefer that as soon as I got to a computer, I performed
an online search for her. Lo and behold, I found a lecture by her. You can see
the lecture by clicking on the following link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEaERAnIqsYhwww.youtube.com/watch?v=HEaERAnIqsYhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEaERAnIqsYwww.youtube.com/watch?v=HEaERAnIqsYhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEaERAnIqsY. Have a nice day!

In the 21st
century, that translates to: “Found this. Will view later!” It’s
meant to be neither curt nor offensive; it’s meant to save us both time. Got
it?

And while we’re on the
subject, Here’s a short quiz: I write you a mail containing the text, “…not to
go all Hedy Schleifer on you, but…” You have no idea what I’m referring to.
You:

The correct answer is (b).
You necessarily have Internet access if you’re downloading and reading mail,
no? Therefore, you open your browser and search for “Hedy Schleifer”. If you do
(a), I’ll reply with “Look here.” Ah, that pesky blue
underlined word again. What’s that? All together now: A hyperlink! And
what do we do when we see a hyperlink? If you don’t know by now, sign up for
remedial reading comprehension.

In case you haven't figured it out, I have less and less patience
for anyone under the age of 60 who’s still sheepishly referring to hizzerself
as a “technophobe” or who can’t perform a basic online search. And I don’t
accept the claim that my work is computer based, so I have a leg up. This is
now basic stuff, folks. The wheel is not going to turn back: Master these
skills and get on board with the digital world. You can only benefit.

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Nina171 says:

When I got married, I didn’t even consider changing my name. My traditional father said, "I can't believe he's allowing you to do that." I said, "I would never marry someone who would think he had a say in the matter."