Six 2014 Emmy Awards Submissions That Won't Land Nominations

Bill Murray may be a living legend, but he's unlikely to win an Emmy for a 40-second appearance on Amazon's "Alpha House."
Reuters

The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences released the ballots for the 2014 Primetime Emmy nominations on Monday, sparking intense speculation over who will, and should, take home the prestigious awards on Aug. 25. There will be plenty of time to ponder whether “Game of Thrones” will top “True Detective” for Outstanding Drama Series after the nominees are announced on July 10. In the meantime, let’s talk about the submissions that probably don’t have a chance.

Bill Murray for Outstanding Guest Actor in “Alpha House”

Bill Murray is a living legend, to be sure, but that doesn’t mean the man is entitled to an Emmy just for showing up on set. The former Ghostbuster is somehow in the running for an Outstanding Guest Actor award for his appearance on the pilot episode of Amazon Instant Video’s comedy “Alpha House,” which makes sense until you realize that Murray was in the episode for less than a minute. Not only that, but the cameo is mostly enjoyable for the unexpected surprise of seeing Bill Murray, not for any aspect of his performance. Murray has done far better.

Adam Sandler for Outstanding Guest Actor in “Brooklyn Nine-Nine”

Once again, a movie star appearing in a comedy series for less than a minute shows up on the ballot. Adam Sandler was in a “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” episode for all of 20 seconds, presumably as a favor to his “That’s My Boy” co-star Andy Samberg (he did owe Samberg one for getting him into that). Unlike Murray, Sandler doesn’t have decades of goodwill to rely on, either -- quite the contrary. While there’s a slim chance that Murray picks up a nomination on name recognition alone, Sandler has no shot here.

“Bam's Bad Ass Game Show” for Outstanding Nonfiction Directing

More than a decade after the end of “Jackass,” Bam Margera is still holding onto his image as a wild stuntman, to diminishing returns. His latest effort, “Bam’s Bad Ass Game Show” on TBS, both keeps Margera himself out of the stunts and needlessly splits “badass” into two words. Not only is “Bam’s Bad Ass Game Show” a watered-down version of the gimmick that made Margera famous among 13-year-olds, but it’s competing against far more interesting fare, including Neil deGrasse Tyson’s stunning “Cosmos” and the more deserving reality competition “Masterchef Junior.” Don’t expect this one to make it to the nominations or a second season.

“Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” for Outstanding Nonfiction Writing

Faced with competition from “Cosmos” and the well-regarded British documentary “Mad Dog: Inside the Secret World of Muammar Gaddafi,” it seems unlikely that reality host and critically panned restauranter Guy Fieri will pick up an Outstanding Writing nomination for an episode all about finding “funky neighborhood joints.” Still, given that “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” is submitted in the newly created Outstanding Structured Reality Program category, it might just stand a chance. Last year, Fieri’s show secured a nomination in the Outstanding Reality Program category, and now that the reality category has multiplied, “Diners, Drive-Ins And Dives” stands a decent chance. Fierri is also on the ballot for Outstanding Host for a Reality Program.

Mark Strong for Outstanding Lead Actor (Drama) in “Low Winter Sun”

Most television viewers know “Low Winter Sun” as “That show AMC forced us to watch after ‘Breaking Bad’ to see the next episode’s preview.” Even with a lead-in from the final season of “Breaking Bad,” “Low Winter Sun” lasted only a single season, and while Mark Strong isn’t exactly bad as homicide-detective-turned-bad Frank Agnew, he has almost no momentum behind him. Considering that Strong is competing with widely praised performances by Bryan Cranston, Mads Mikkelsen, Jon Hamm and Matthew McConaughey, his uninspiring performance in a resented show would be a very unlikely choice for a nomination. Tom Selleck probably has a better chance at picking up a nod for “Blue Bloods.”

Rob Lowe for Outstanding Lead Actor (Comedy) in “Parks and Recreation”

This isn’t the first time Rob Lowe has made an appearance on the lead actor ballot. He showed up in 2013 alongside “Parks and Recreation” co-star Adam Scott, though neither landed a nomination, which makes sense because neither are really series leads. Lowe’s character in particular was mostly given B-plots (amusing B-plots though they were) on the ensemble comedy, and he was written out of the show earlier this year. Lowe has had some excellent moments during his time on “Parks and Recreation,” but he was always a supporting actor to the series’ true star, Amy Poehler, who secured four Lead Actress nominations for the series.

Don’t count Lowe out yet, though: He’s also on the ballot for his lead role in the miniseries “Killing Kennedy” and his guest appearances in “Californication” and “Franklin & Bash.” He’s a hustler.

Nine seasons into “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” the dark comedy has yet to pick up any Emmy attention outside of a single losing Outstanding Stunt Coordination try in 2013, and “The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award” uses its entire runtime to launch a series of not-so-subtle attacks at the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences over the show’s recurrent snubs. The meta premise of the episode finds the owners of Paddy’s Pub unsuccessfully attempting to pick up a nomination in a “Best Bar in Philadelphia” contest, ultimately swearing the contest off as shallow and crowd-pleasing. And with a closing musical number that invites the contest’s judges to “go f*ck yourselves,” it’s unlikely that “The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award” is going to correct the show’s losing streak. (Still, it would awesome if it did.)

NO PURCHASE OR PAYMENT NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A PURCHASE OR PAYMENT WILL NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF WINNING. The Giveaway is sponsored by IBT Media Inc., 7 Hanover Square, 5th Floor, New York, NY 10004 (“Sponsor”). The Giveaway is void where prohibited or restricted by all applicable law, and all applicable federal, state and local laws and regulations apply. Winners are responsible for any taxes, customs, and duties and like amounts connected with the prizes.

1. ELIGIBILITY. The Giveaway is open only to legal residents of the 50 states of the United States and the District of Columbia who are the age of majority in their respective jurisdiction at the time of entry (19 in AL and NE and 18 in all other states). Sponsor and its advertising or promotion agencies, those involved in the production, development, implementation or handling of this Giveaway, any agents acting for, or on behalf of Sponsor, its respective affiliates, subsidiaries, licensees, service providers, and any other person or entity associated with this Giveaway are referred to as the “Giveaway Entities.” Employees, officers, and directors of the Giveaway Entities and members of their immediate families (spouses, children, siblings, parents and their spouses), and/or persons living in the same household as such persons, whether or not related, are ineligible to enter this Giveaway.

2. PROMOTION ENTRY PERIOD: The Giveaway begins on July 1, 2015 at 12:00 a.m. EST and ends at 11:59:59 p.m. September 31, 2015 (the “Giveaway Period”). When applicable, the Sponsor’s computers will be deemed the official time keeping devices for the Giveaway promotion.

3. HOW TO ENTER. You will receive one entry into the random drawing for the Giveaway Period when you provide a verified e-mail through our designated modal window interface. Limit one (1) entry per person/email address. Multiple entries will be disqualified. All previous winners of any giveaway or contest sponsored by IBT Media are not eligible to enter. Any effort by an entrant to misrepresent himself or herself through the use of aliases or multiple e-mail addresses will disqualify that entrant. Registrations generated by a script, macro or other automated means are void. You must be the rightful owner of the email address provided. In the event of a dispute as to the identity of the winner, the winner will be deemed to be the authorized account holder of the email address provided at the time of entry. Entrants must provide all information requested to be eligible to win. Incomplete or unintelligible entries, in the sole discretion of Sponsor, will be disqualified. Sponsor will not verify receipt of entries and assumes no responsibility for late, lost, damaged, misidentified or misdirected entries.

4. PRIZE DRAWINGS AND NOTIFICATION OF CHOSEN ENTRANTS. A random drawing will be conducted by Sponsor on or about the first week following the Giveaway Period from among all eligible entries received to award one prize (described below). Selected entrants will be notified by email and will be required to respond (as directed) to the e-mail notification within 72 hours of attempted notification. Failure to respond timely to the notification may result in forfeiture of the prize. Selected entrants may also be required to complete an affidavit of eligibility and liability / publicity release (except where such a requirement is prohibited by law). If the completed Release is not returned within the time specified, the prize may be forfeited.

One (1) Prize per Giveaway Period: An Apple Watch Sport™, which is a registered trademark of Apple Inc. Approximate Retail Value: $349. Limit one (1) prize per person/household. No substitution, transfer, or cash equivalent for any prize, except that Sponsor, at its sole discretion, may substitute a prize with a prize of equal value, due to unavailability of advertised prize. Each prize will be awarded provided each prize is properly claimed. The prize will be shipped by Sponsor to the winners within 1-5 weeks of the receipt of a signed affidavit for approved entries. Prize winners are responsible for all taxes and fees related to any prize received. Actual retail value of prizes may vary due to market conditions. The difference in value of prize as stated herein and value at time of prize notification, if any, will not be awarded.

5. ODDS. The odds of winning a prize will depend on the number of eligible entries received for the Giveaway Period.

6. MARKETING AND PRIVACY. Information collected in connection with entries received for this Giveaway will be used for marketing purposes. By entering the Giveaway, entrants consent to receive marketing emails with updates, offers and promotions from Sponsor or third parties. Entrants may follow instructions contained in each subsequent email communication to opt-out of receiving future email communications, however, Sponsor may still use the email address provided to notify entrant if they have been selected as a winner of this Giveaway.

7. CONDITIONS FOR PARTICIPATION. Giveaway is subject to these Official Rules. By participating, entrants agree to be bound by these complete Official Rules. All decisions of Sponsor are final and binding; and entrants agree to waive any right to claim ambiguity in the Giveaway or these Official Rules, except where prohibited by law. In addition, each entrant represents and warrants that all information contained in his/her registration entry is true and accurate. By accepting a prize, winners agree to release, defend, indemnify and hold harmless the Sponsor, its attorneys, affiliates, together with the respective directors, employees, officers, licensees, licensors and agents of each, including without limitation, their respective advertising and promotion entities and any person or entity associated with the production, judging, or administration of the Giveaway (collectively, the “Releasees”) from any and all loss, damage, injury, death, or other liability, either at law or equity, whether known or unknown, asserted or non-asserted, arising from or in connection with awarding, receipt and/or use or misuse of prize or participation in the Giveaway. This Promotion shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the State of New York, regardless of conflicts of laws principles. Any action or litigation concerning this Promotion shall take place exclusively in the federal or state courts sitting in New York County, New York, and each entrant expressly and irrevocably consents to the jurisdiction of and venue in such courts and waives all defenses of lack of jurisdiction and inconvenient forum with respect to such courts. Each entrant agrees to service of process by mail or other method acceptable under the laws of the State of New York. ANY CLAIMS, JUDGMENTS AND/OR AWARDS SHALL BE LIMITED TO ACTUAL OUT-OF-POCKET COSTS ASSOCIATED WITH ENTERING THIS PROMOTION. REGISTERED CONTESTANT HEREBY WAIVES ANY RIGHTS OR CLAIMS TO ATTORNEY'S FEES, INDIRECT, SPECIAL, PUNITIVE, INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES OF ENTRANT, WHETHER FORESEEABLE OR NOT AND WHETHER BASED ON NEGLIGENCE OR OTHERWISE. EACH PARTY EXPRESSLY WAIVES ANY RIGHT TO A JURY. The releases hereunder are intended to apply to all claims not known or suspected to exist with the intent of waiving the effect of laws requiring the intent to release future unknown claims. This Giveaway is void outside the U.S. and where prohibited or restricted by law, and subject to applicable federal, state, and local laws. Sponsor reserves the right to disqualify any entrant it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Giveaway or violating these Official Rules.

8. PUBLICITY AND RELEASE FORMS: Sponsor reserves the right to use the Giveaway for publicity purposes in any media, and to use the name, likeness, and hometown name and/or prize information of prize winners as part of that publicity, without any compensation or prior review, unless prohibited by law. Each prize winner will be required to submit a declaration and a liability/publicity release and confirmation that the prize winner has followed the rules of the Giveaway, in the form supplied by Sponsor (the "Declaration and Release"), and signed by the prize winner. The Declaration and Release must be signed and returned within seven (7) days of notification. Prize won by an eligible entrant who is a minor in his/her state of residence will be awarded to minor's parent or legal guardian who must sign and return all required documents. In the event the Affidavit and Release is not returned within this period, an alternate winner may be selected for such prize. Any prize notification or prize returned to Sponsor as undeliverable will result in the awarding of that prize to an alternate winner (who will be required to comply with similar procedures).

9. LIMITATION OF LIABILITIES: The Releasees shall not be liable for: (i) late, lost, delayed, stolen, misdirected, incomplete unreadable, inaccurate, garbled or unintelligible entries, communications or affidavits, regardless of the method of transmission; (ii) telephone system, telephone or computer hardware, software or other technical or computer malfunctions, lost connections, disconnections, delays or transmission errors; (iii) data corruption, theft, destruction, unauthorized access to or alteration of entry or other materials; (iv) any injuries, losses or damages of any kind caused by the prize or resulting from acceptance, possession or use of a prize, or from participation in the Giveaway; or (v) any printing, typographical, administrative or technological errors in any materials associated with the Giveaway. In the event that more prize notice emails are sent for any of the prizes than the number of prizes available as specified in these Official Rules, a random drawing will be conducted from all entrants who received such notices to award number of prizes specified in these Official Rules. Sponsor disclaims any liability for damage to any computer system resulting from participating in, or accessing or downloading information in connection with this Giveaway, and reserve the right, in their sole discretion, to cancel, modify or suspend the Giveaway should a virus, bug, fraud, computer problem, unauthorized intervention or other causes beyond Sponsor’s control, corrupt the administration, security or proper play of the Giveaway. Sponsor may prohibit an entrant from participating in the Giveaway or winning a prize if, in its sole discretion, it determines such entrant is attempting to undermine the legitimate operation of the Giveaway in any way by cheating, hacking, deception, or any other unfair playing practices of intending to annoy, abuse, threaten or harass any other players or Sponsor representatives. Use of any automated system to participate is strictly prohibited and will result in disqualification. Sponsor may disqualify at its sole discretion any entries it believes are created by an automated system or exceed the maximum of one entry per natural person/email address. Disputes regarding these Official Rules and/or this Giveaway will be governed by the internal laws of the State of New York, without regard to conflicts of laws principles. Any and all legal actions or claims arising in connection with this Giveaway must be brought in a court of competent jurisdiction within New York County, New York or, at Sponsor’s sole discretion, anywhere else in the United States. CAUTION: ANY ATTEMPT TO DELIBERATELY DAMAGE THE IBT MODAL WINDOW OR UNDERMINE THE LEGITIMATE OPERATION OF THE GIVEAWAY MAY BE IN VIOLATION OF CRIMINAL AND CIVIL LAWS AND WILL RESULT IN DISQUALIFICATION FROM PARTICIPATION IN THE GIVEAWAY. SHOULD SUCH AN ATTEMPT BE MADE, SPONSORS RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SEEK REMEDIES AND DAMAGES (INCLUDING ATTORNEY FEES) TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW, INCLUDING CRIMINAL PROSECUTION.

10. PRIVACY. Please refer to Sponsor’s privacy policy located at http://www.ibtimes.com/corporate/privacy for important information regarding the collection, use and disclosure of personal information by Sponsor.

11. WINNER LIST. For names of the winners, send your request in a self-addressed, stamped envelope to: The IBT Media Email Address Monthly Giveaway Winners List, 7 Hanover Square, 5th Floor, New York, NY 10004. Winner lists will be sent out once winners have been verified. The name of the all winners will be posted only for 30 days after the end of the Entry Period.

BY ENTERING, YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE READ AND ACCEPTED ALL OF THESE GIVEAWAY RULES.