Let kids pay for their dates

What to do about dating expenses is probably an easy call for many teens: Just ask Mom or Dad for a couple of crisp $20 bills. Oh, and would you mind filling up the car, too?

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By Steve Rosen

recordnet.com

By Steve Rosen

Posted Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:01 AM

By Steve Rosen
Posted Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:01 AM

» Social News

What to do about dating expenses is probably an easy call for many teens: Just ask Mom or Dad for a couple of crisp $20 bills. Oh, and would you mind filling up the car, too?

But there is another way, and it won't necessarily hurt your teen's social life.

Rather than popping for movie tickets, dinner and gas for the car, encourage your 16-year-old to become more financially responsible for date nights. That's encourage with a capital E.

On occasion, there's nothing wrong with helping to finance a landmark date, such as Valentine's Day or spring prom, where the tab for the night can dwarf a monthly car payment. But don't become the weekend money machine, even if you're in a financial position to do so.

As kids enter their teen years, their expenditures tend to escalate, especially when it comes to dating. What makes it tough is when there's peer pressure to put on a show and spend.

On the flip side, it can also be tough when teens are made to feel they don't have enough money and can't compete.

"Teens tend to filter financial information differently than adults," said Patricia Seaman, senior director of the National Endowment for Financial Education in suburban Denver. "Financially responsible adults tend to respect and admire similar values in their romantic partners, while teens can be easily impressed by shows of extravagance."

What can you do about this?

If your teen doesn't have a job, perhaps this is the time to start or bump up an allowance to cover these entertainment costs. That way, the onus is on your teen, not you, to find ways to stretch his dollars.

With prom around the corner, it's fine for parents to volunteer in the planning. To determine how much your high school student will need to save, line-item the potential expenses - dance tickets, flowers, dinner, tux rental, a new dress.

Finally, here are some money-saving suggestions I culled from several teens on the dating front lines. Tell your high-schooler to:

» Look for deals on Twitter, Groupon and other coupon outlets. A lot of two-for-one discounts get communicated that way. Remember to "follow" favorite local restaurants to hear about their specials.

» Go in groups. Ask about group deals if going to dinner. While some restaurants may charge more for large groups, others offer incentives, such as free desserts. Or go in a group where everybody goes Dutch.

» Be creative. Look for no-cost or low-cost alternatives, such as attending a school play, a dance performance or sporting event where your activity fees have already covered the price of admission. Volunteer together; Idealist.org can connect you to volunteer groups in your area.

» Shop for bargains. If buying flowers, for example, many grocery stores and florists offer weekend specials - three bunches for $9. And there are no fees for delivery.

Contact Steve Rosen, a personal finance columnist at The Kansas City Star, at srosen@kcstar.com.