Friday, February 24, 2012

I had to look twice to make sure I had read
the message on the street beggar’s sign correctly. Normally I’d avert my eyes
and sheepishly fiddle with the radio or my cellphone each time a beggar or
vendor sidles up to my car window, silently pleading with the robot (traffic
light, for the Americans) to turn green so that I wouldn’t have to
unsympathetically shrug my shoulders and shake my head. But this guy tricked
me.

I laughed. He saw me laugh. His cheesy,
toothless grin didn’t help, either. I had to give him the R2 coin, reserved for
helpful car guards, that was lying in my car door storage compartment. He
tucked the sign under his arm, screamed thank you in my direction, before rushing
off to collect more money from more outstretched arms. His tactic was working.

This got me thinking. The “industry” this
guy operates in is so saturated. It’s uncommon to see a robot (traffic light,
for the Americans) sans beggar-slash-street-vendor-slash-child-abuser. We’ve
become immune to the “No work, no food, 5 kids, 3 wives, 20 dogs” signs;
they’re as common Julius Malema’s word vomit.

Until one guy thought up a way to stand out
from the rest, to force people to notice him.

Sure, we quickly wind up our windows as we
approach intersections; avoid eye contact with those regarded by most as a
nuisance. But the fact of the matter is that the government has failed them.
There are no jobs, no skills training. This guy made the smallest change to a
tried-and-tested model and probably got R10 in the two minutes I was waiting
for the light to change.

It’s something we should all apply in our
lives; one small change could make the biggest difference. Rewrite the rules,
don’t be afraid to break away from tradition, and force people to acknowledge
you.

It’s too easy to go with the flow, to blend
in. It takes guts to dare to be different, with the thought of failure looming
in the background.

For the street beggar, it’s the only way
he’s surviving.

For those of us who are already surviving,
one small change could be the key to living.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Swoon indeed. I didn't even know he had produced this documentary series. I eagerly read the blurb to my husband, part of which reads: "The series travels the globe as Fry takes viewers on a journey through the thousands of years since man first mastered speech to the cyber world of today ... Revealing how language is used, abused and continues to evolve, Fry's Planet Word looks at whether we are any closer to understanding the most complex activity of the human brain."

"Well, I bet that made your day," said my husband, after I paused for breath.

And, boy, did it! Until I discovered that the documentary - all 291 blissful minutes of it - is not (yet, I hope) available in South Africa. Damn and blast!

The book is, however. And I need them both. NEED them!

And then this too-awesome-for-er-words video appeared by chance in my inbox yesterday, in a newsletter forwarded to me by my boss. I've watched it ten times, and it's playing in my ear as I type. Two Stephen Fry nuggets of gold in one week! What luck!

AND it just so happens that a Top Gear re-run on SABC 3 on Sunday featured none other than the man himself, although I must say that he's better at steering language than he is a reasonably-priced car.

I think the universe is trying to tell me something...

I'm only glad that I have a handful of friends and an awesome professor who get as excited as I do about all things language, grammar and punctuation. It might be a good place to point out that I am in the language business and am also a current language student. No bias, whatsoever, then.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

I’m annoyed because the issue at hand was never about race
to begin with; it was about inappropriate behaviour in a public environment,
but being South Africa, that card had to be played. It always does.

In a nutshell, a Virgin Active member, Liz Hleza, claims she
was a victim of racial abuse when, in a spinning class, she was attacked by a
fellow spinner who didn’t appreciate her enthusiasm, which was expressed by
yelling ‘yebo’ every so often. Hleza claims she was called a cockroach, a c**t
and a k****r.

The Internet and social networks have run wild with this,
slamming Virgin Active for not reacting appropriately and calling for the
alleged racist to be named and shamed.

Here’s how I see it.

Being an avid spinner myself, I know that it is not uncommon
to have the odd over-excitable spinner who likes to make his or her enjoyment
known through the odd whoop or whistle. Nothing wrong with that. Spinning
classes are, after all, about the energy rush and the pure satisfaction you get
after completing a level 10 climb without bursting your main artery. Hell, one
of my instructors makes us sing that awful “Hey baby (I wanna know if you’ll be
my girl) song; if we don’t sing loud enough, she makes us turn up the
resistance. Making a noise is encouraged.

What annoys me to no end in a spinning class are the two
friends that sit next to each other and jabber the whole way through the class,
straining their voices over the blaring music. It’s enough to make me want to
squirt them with my water bottle and tell them to “shoosh”, as the alleged
Virgin Active offender’s friend did to Hleza.

So I can understand the guy’s frustration at the continuous
shouting throughout the class. Spinning takes a lot of concentration (sticking
to the beat while hovering your butt over the seat is no small feat), and that
concentration is very easily broken, especially when you’re trying to hear your
next orders from the drill sergeant, er, I mean instructor. When you eventually
are in your zone, it’s highly annoying to be jerked out of it by mindless
chatter or, in this case, constant screaming.

Hleza, who felt she didn’t get the right response from
Virgin Active’s management, took her frustrations to the media.

Shock. Horror. Queue social media outcry. Racism is, once
again, in the spotlight.

Conspicuously absent from the media reports, however, was
the alleged bully’s side of the story or any neutral account from other people
in the class at the time.

Granted, if there was tension to that degree in the class,
the instructor should have tried to defuse it, asking one or both offenders to
leave the class. Granted, too, if the situation did indeed escalate to the
point that the ‘k word’ was thrown about, then management should have gotten
involved.

Let’s just state for the record that every South African and
his dog knows how offensive that word is and how much trouble one can get into
for even whispering it under your breath. Throwing it around loosely in the
same way that one would, say ‘idiot’, is social suicide. Why would you do that?
It’s just stupid.

The problem is, according to a witness account
on Ray White’s 702 Early Breakfast this morning, that word was never used. Not once.

According to the witness, the ‘bully’ first asked Hleza to
keep it down. In response, she yelled louder and more frequently. The bully
called her a cockroach. He deserved to be pushed off his bike for that (with
his cleats still fastened). But then … Hleza apparently proceeded to antagonise
him, daring him to call her the ‘k word’.

The situation reminds me of a time, years ago, when I would
irritate my sister until she hit me, just so I could get her into trouble with
my parents. Childs play, really.

This smacks of attention seeking to me. The fact that she
took her story to the media and said that he had used the expletive, when
witnesses say he didn’t, means something is deeply wrong in our society.

However, what’s even more disturbing is that the media
jumped on the racial bandwagon, without once reporting the other party’s side
of the story or even bothering to contact witnesses. Unethical and
irresponsible reporting to the extreme.

Has anyone ever once stopped to spare a thought for the
alleged bully? He’s been made out to be an intolerant racist, yet he was merely
trying to enjoy his exercise session.

Added to this the can of worms that has exploded all over
Virgin Active’s face. Now people are emerging from cracks in the walls, telling
of how they, too, have been victims of racism at the health clubs. Even more
worrying is that the Mail & Guardian is encouraging people to share
their racism experiences at Virgin Active, designing an entire form for
people to fill out detailing the incidents. What are we doing??

Pouring fuel onto an inferno is the last thing the media should be doing.

It’s bad enough that people all over Twitter are supporting
the victim, with the word ‘yebo’ even trending and being bandied about like a
joke. Mail and Guardian editor Nic Dawes even tweeted: “YEBO! As you heft that
weight, YEBO! As you hit the pool, YEBO! On the treadmill and the bike. YEBO!”So much for
balanced and fair reporting.

Where’s the other side in this? Where are the witnesses?

The fact remains. This was about inappropriate behaviour,
not about race. It’s sad how easy it is to start a racial war in this country.
More tolerance, people. It’s the only way we’ll survive.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

I have found myself in the awkward position on more than one occasion recently where I have had to tell close friends, family members and colleagues that their words and/or actions have been harmful to those around them and those closest to them.

Never one for confrontation, this was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Ever.

In the past, I most probably would never have said anything to the offenders, turning a blind eye or a deaf ear, but the three encounters I've had over this past month have been deeply personal and my husband gave me a swift kick up the you-know-what, saying it was time I stood up for myself and spoke my mind.

So I did.

And I felt like crap doing it.

But after the fact, I never felt better. And I came to realise that sometimes people just don't realise that what they are saying or doing is affecting anyone else but themselves. I guess it's human nature to be selfish, and in the age we're living in, that's ok - to an extent.

(Image from Google Images, Pro Bono Coaching Web site)

Of course, the flip side is that the person you're confronting might get defensive and/or offended and it's at that point where you need to re-evaluate that relationship and consider whether the best option would be to sever ties. In my case, I lost one relationship, but that was my choice. It was a poisonous relationship and one that wasn't adding any value to my life.

Speaking my mind on two issues actually improved my relationships with my folks and my oldest friend, and though it was extremely difficult at the time, I'm glad I did it.

Of course, if I were on the other side of the confrontation, I would want to know if someone was not happy with something I had done or said. I know it would be hard to hear; I take things very personally and would probably dwell on it for months, but sometimes reflection and correction are necessary in an age of selfishness.