Saturday, 29 April 2017

So we had a kid and BAM our confidence is gone.

One of the things that shocked me the most about becoming a mother was the actual change in me physically and emotionally. I look back at photographs of myself in those early years of motherhood and I legit don't recognise myself. Even though I managed to continue to exercise before, during and after pregnancy and generally kept myself fit and strong, like most mothers, I completely lost the ability to look after myself, my appearance and my body. This was partly due to the incredible lack of sleep and consequent fatigue I was experiencing..I mean seriously, who can be bothered brushing their hair or even their teeth for that matter when you are THAT tired. With both of my children I experienced significant PND, with my little man Sam (my second child), well there's no real way to describe that experience, other than traumatic.

Sam and I in his first year.

But I do look at those photos (I have attached one for your viewing pleasure) and I see the sadness and tiredness in my eyes. I remember coming out the other end of those years and wanting to feel good about myself again. But feeling completely overwhelmed at the task ahead. Admittedly, working in an industry where I needed to look and feel strong was certainly a driving force for me, for which I am extremely grateful as it gave me a reason, other than my own perceived selfish needs, to get myself back into shape, physically, emotionally and mentally.Put two photos side by side, the one of me as a new mum and one of me now and you would think you were looking at a completely different human.

Every day in my world I meet mums who feel defeated. They have lost the ability to feel good about themselves, they don't want to look in the mirror at themselves, they don't feel like they deserve to invest any time or money in taking care of themselves and feeling better about themselves. This act alone would be associated with massive amounts of guilt. They describe themselves as physically weak (except in the arm they carry their kids in!). They point out their wobbly bits, their tuck shop arms, their saggy butt and their floppy belly that carried their child. They compare themselves with all the other mother's and they feel guilty for taking that teeny little bit of time out for themselves to come into a gym and explore the possibility of maybe, just maybe starting to take care of themselves again. Every single mother deserves to feel comfortable, strong, happy and healthy. No wait - they NEED to feel those things. How can we raise confident, healthy children if we are not role modelling this ourselves? I will continue to believe in these women when they walk through my door, until they have re-established that belief system themselves. I will continue to help women rediscover their strength and confidence, indirectly through a solid strength training program and beautiful connections within an authentic community. To see a woman feel strong and proud, and to see their family proud of their achievement and celebrate their success in and out of the gym, as a family unit (in whatever format their family unit may be)......this is the greatest gift. Every mother needs to experience their child telling them that they are so glad they have a strong healthy mummy. My daughter wrote this on my mother's day card last year and it was without a doubt, my proudest moment as a mother. CC

Sam I in 2017. We have an incredibly special bond.I put it down to all the extra hours we spent together when he was a baby and was meant to be sleeping!