Left Behind

His eyes followed the swallows in flight but really he didn’t see them; their back and forth movement just induced an ambedo he couldn’t escape even if he tried. How long had he been sitting at that window? He couldn’t have said; it didn’t matter. He didn’t really care. Watching the birds, the clouds passed the time: time that no longer meant anything. The melancholic listlessness was better than the pain. At least it was a dull ache, not like the submerging, suffocating feeling he would experience several times a day.

Still pain came, like the tide. Only one could foresee the tide; it was something that obeyed the laws of nature. One knew when the tide was high, and when it was low. With pain… it was different. It could overwhelm him like a tsunami and leave him like a broken body on the beaches of Phuket. Pain was worse than the ocean; it was just as voracious as the seas when they ate at the cliffs, as unforgiving as time which left building and people alike crumbling to dust.

His Blackberry vibrated on the table, jolting him out of his reverie. He thought he’d switched it off. He didn’t want to speak to anyone. Still, he picked it up.
“Hey Anton, it’s Mom. I’ve spoken to Dr. Steiner. She’s… well she’s an eminence in her domain.”
“And what is that Mom?”
He asked with a resigned sigh. He loved his mother but no psychiatrist – be they the best at their job – could make the pain go away. Nor could they fill the void that she’d left; not one of them could replace Erika’s dazzling presence. And she was gone; she’d taken all the light and happiness with her. He barely took note of his mother’s words.

“You can’t stop living. She wouldn’t have wanted that.”
“She’s gone Mom. Nobody knows what she would have wanted.”
There was anger; a tidal wave. But it wasn’t his mother’s fault. It wasn’t anyone’s.
“Anton, I love you you’re my son, but God help me, I will come and spank you for giving up. Erika loved you; she wanted you to be happy.”
“How can I be happy without her, Mom?”

A short silence.
“I don’t know honey. But you’ll find a way. I miss her too. And I miss you, the carefree misbehaving young man you used to be.”
“That man died with her.”
“Please meet Dr. Steiner. If you don’t like her, that’s fine but try. For me. For Erika. For you.”
“I’ll think on it. Bye mom.”
“I love you Anton.”
“Yes. Me too.”

He dropped the phone on the table and, looking out the window searched for the birds again. And he followed their flights: such a transient thing spring, the time when swallows flew on their property. Just like life.

In response to Mindlovemisery’s Wordle #151 prompt
1. Cloud 2. Crumble 3. Flight 4. Ambedo ((n.) a kind of melancholic trance in which you become completely absorbed in vivid sensory details—raindrops skittering down a window, tall trees leaning in the wind, clouds of cream swirling in your coffee—which leads to a dawning awareness of the haunting fragility of life.) 5. Blackberry 6. Dazzle 7. Switch 8. Tide 9. Care 10. Voracious 11. Eminent ((adj.) highinstation,rank,orrepute;prominent; distinguished: conspicuous,signal,ornoteworthy: lofty;high: prominent;projecting; protruding.) 12. Misbehave
Use at least 10 of the words to create a story or poem
The words can appear in an alternate form

What you want to know…

This blog is first and foremost meant to hold my attempts at writing stories and sharing my love for books.
You’ll find short stories mostly and maybe a few bits about my world.

I hope you enjoy the reading enough to leave comments, feedback, constructive criticism. I strive to improve and I know there are many opportunities to get better at writing. Maybe one day I’ll be a writer, but until then I write.