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prison wife

Yes, I am… Generation X that is

Generation X or Gen X’s were born after the Baby Boomers and before the Millennials.

There are no exact dates to define the start and end of Generation X although we generally use the birth years ranging from the early to mid 1960’s through to the late 1970’s to early 1980’s

The term “Generation X” has been used at times to describe an alienated youth., while the “X” refers to an unknown variable or to a desire not to be defined.

We were children at a time when society focused on adults rather than children, As teenagers our lives were overshadowed by ever-increasing divorce rates, broken families and we grew up with significantly less adult supervision than ever before. Kids who came home to an empty house who were unsupervised until a parent returned home from work were described as ‘latchkey kids’.

Interestingly, when I started school it was more or less expected that women would be stay-at-home mums who would take responsibility for managing the household and organising the family. In fact, whenever asked, I would actually tell people

‘I want to be a mum’

Fast forward 12 years and wtf? Now I’m expected to be super-mum and have a career as well.

Of course, another constant was the threat of nuclear war – WW3 was going to be the war to end all wars and it was inevitable that they would someday drop the bomb. This just added to the eternal ‘doomsday’ predictions.

The approaching new millennium proved to be an uneasy time for most. Who could forget Y2K? With computer systems that were unable to cope with a date change from 19XX to 20XX.

These are just some of the reasons why Gen Xer’s lived by the following motto.

“We’re here for a good time, Not a long time”

So, exactly what didwe want to be when we grew up? The answer was actually quite simple – we just wanted to be happy!

My ‘can’t-get-enough’ cocktail ingredient at the moment is (shhh!) – ice cream. In honor of *the artist formerly known as Prince*, I named my first recipe a ‘Spider Cruising In A Raspberry Beret’ as I was drinking them on the day his death was reported on the news.

Of course, it’s also a wonderfully delicious addition to Kahlua or Tia-Maria Milkshakes…

Tender perfectly describes how I feel right now; tender in heart, mind and spirit.

The last two weeks of May was the final curtain call in the drama that apparently was my life for the past 4 years. Even now, counting out the years on my fingers, I just can’t believe how much time that has passed and how much (crappy) stuff I’ve dealt with – or perhaps not dealt with.

The events of these years played out with a domino effect, you could say it was like an avalanche that started with a quiet rumble and just got bigger and more out of control until it was unfathomable and unavoidable.

They hit me in every corner and effected every part of my being. I am no longer the same person that I was before this ordeal started. For better or for worse? Well, I guess that remains to be seen.

But if this wasn’t enough, the final blow, the last nail to be driven into the coffin was when the system that’s meant to protect me ended up being a complete failure.

I like to think that truth will always prevail in the end and yeah yeah, I know, the judge and jury don’t ‘KNOW’ anything for sure and they can only go by the evidence that is before them.

But I DO KNOW the truth about the events in Feb 2015. I waited two and a half years to finally have my day in court, and every little bit of strength that I had built within since that night was once again, stripped from me when the system failed grandly.

Well, fuck the system, I never had much faith in it anyway.

The only thing that will save me and restore some of that faith is if the system could repay me in kind by sending my man home at the end of June. It’s torture being apart however, I won’t allow myself to hope (not yet anyway) because I fear the disappointment that comes with him not being released.

But come on now, fair’s fair – I think the system owes me one, don’t you?

Besides, it’s time for us to move on from our past and start to create our future.

This morning turned into one of those mornings when you wake up to ‘no milk’, which means ‘no coffee’ but you’re ‘too lazy’ to walk to the shop.

So you do the next-best thing and you ask your daughter if she would drive to the shop for you…? but of course, she’s way too busy.

Alas, I looked in the fridge once again, knowing too well that the only thing I was going to find, the only thing that even came close as a substitute for my usual coffee creamer, was a carton of Vitasoy Unsweetened Almond Milk.

So, Almond Milk it was.

Under normal circumstances, this would be classified as ‘last-resort’ actions so to soften the blow to my taste-buds, I decided to heat the Almond Milk and use honey for flavour rather than try to perfect my morning coffee.

I have since learnt that Vitasoy do have a product called Café for Baristas Almond Milk that has been specifically formulated for barista-made coffee.

Taking my first sip, I must say, the taste was a pleasant surprise; I mean, I could tell that it wasn’t dairy milk but I genuinely enjoyed my ‘unusual’ morning cuppa. Not only did I finish the entire drink in only a few gulps, I even went back for seconds.

Overall, Almond Milk tasted much better than I thought it would and I’d definitely buy it again.

I’m Ms. 18033 and (for now) I am a prison wife. More importantly, I am a mother to 3 beautiful children; my eldest daughter is 24, my son is 22 and my youngest daughter is about to turn 18. My children are, and always will be, my greatest achievement in life.

Turning 40 was a definite turning point for me. As many people do, i had a major mind shift when my thoughts turned from ‘one day, when I grow up, I will (insert hopes and dreams here)’ to ‘WOW, I AM grown up and this is it, THIS IS MY LIFE’.

Normally, I would expect this to bring on a sense of panic or regret for all the dreams that hadn’t yet been realised, when in fact I found it to be quite liberating and overall, a very humble experience.

Last weekend, my youngest daughter, proudly reminded me that in exactly one month, she would be turning 18 and I was surprised by the tears that overflowed and rolled down my cheeks. Of course, they were tears of joy, expressing a proud moment in a mum’s life.

Today, I am closer to 50 than 40 and I know I have some big changes coming up and this is my reason for blogging. I want to change how I live life, I want to spend more time living and loving instead of working and consuming. I want to catch fish, build campfires, play guitar and write letters to my sister in Spanish. Most of all, I want to love life and that means finding a different way.

So, here goes… please join me on my journey to fifty and beyond, BUT do hold on, cause its gonna be one hell of ride.