Saturday, February 21, 2009

So , it is 12 pm , Abby is asleep and has a temperature with suspicious bumps on her bum. Norah is also asleep after deciding that she hates the carseat with the passion of a thousand blazing suns, enough indeed to scream all the way home until pulling into the driveway. Seth is nervewracked and anxious-pacing-tapping-scratching , gearing up for his re-eval and lonely plane ride. I am tired, and oh so looking forward to this lovely single parenting extravaganza. Oh Goody goody goody.

A shot from the last time Abby was sick, " No I can't _______ I'm too sick", substitute everything from eating and drinking to sitting, standing, playing, washing, being quiet , or lying down. This is going to be fun!

Friday, February 20, 2009

SO Abby and I went shopping today, just the two of us, and it was great. She started the day with practically sitting on top of her sister while I was nursing, then stroking-pushing-slapping-pinching-eating-sucking on my arm, which soon turned into a full out crying panicky run away from dad around the house episode. SOme Mommy time was needed badly. I was terrified of going, alone with her, in the new car, because of course she was going to want to walk instead of ride in the cart and of course she was going to grab things off hte shelf and of course she would find only the delicate, breakable, bruiseable things to pick up . But we survived, sometimes it is hard to remember that for a brief period of time she wants to be with me and just me more than I can ever know, that she doesn't need private time, that she can never have enough hugs and praise and love. That there are no strings attached to our relationship, that I can discipline her with counting out loud and explaining why, and how, and who and where. That her knowledge of the world grows every second, that she will think that I am the coolest for at least a little while and that all these things are perhaps the most amazing ever. No one told me that when I had children I would get to be the popular kid in the house, that someone would want to be me more that I do and that one little word or hug or kiss can make a day perfect and wonderful.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Okay, well after a week visiting familyup in Canada we are finally back, walking in the front door, petting the cat, tucking in sleeping toddlers, checking on mail, ripping open Next Day delivery Fedex envelopes that came on the 13th. AH yes lucky 13? I think not, Seth has been scheduled for an Army TDRL re-evaluation on Monday, in Tacoma, you know Tacoma, like 5 hours away Tacoma, and yes even though five hours drive is nothing compared to the 12 hours we just came home from my heart is still sinking.

For those of you who know Seth suffers from PTSD a little trauma from playing in the Iraqi sandbox a few years ago and so lovely surprises like going to Tacoma in three days are not exactly welcome. No sorts of surprises are welcome at all, we do a alot of planning, sussing out of places, I accompany him to a new place the first, second, sometimes third time. Anxiety attacks are always waiting to jump, blood pressure is sky high, stuttering, lapse of cognitive ability and speech are possible, add this to surviving ten explosions a, traumatic brain injury, a crushed vertebrate, chipped kneecap, and nightmares and you might see why we spend a lot of time at home. Away from people...

SO at the moment I am booing and hissing, cursing and spitting, just generally thinking bad thought about a certain Debbra so and so who planned this attack on my household without any thought, compassion , or sensitivity towards the sanity of my dear dear Love.

Friday, February 6, 2009

SO, recently we purchased a new vehicle, pictured left, and I mean about two weeks ago. No we are not rich and yes we are feeling the economic crunch but really when you factor in a bit more money per month for a vehicle under warranty rather than a lesser amount of money and the possibility of thousands for an unwarrantied old vehicle... well you get the drift. However there were a few things still needing to be installed in our new vehicle, mostly perks which I am emabrassed to talk about like.. ahem.. a dvd player to brainwash and neutralize our children during long trips and cross bars so that we have the capability to haul even more crap around with us. Long story short the car is in the shop and we have a rental.... and let me say that my husband who is 6'3 does not and I mean DOES NOT fit into a Chevy Cobalt. Just doesn't, he looks like a circus clown who got lost on his way around the big top, his elbows poking over into the passenger area, his knees up beside the steering wheel, his neck slouched and head crunched and yet still jammed against the roof. Let's imagine for a minute a giraffe and an Austin Mini... with me still? now let's put in two carseats in the back, the one behind the driver's seat forcing it even closer to the steering wheel causing feet to over step gas and most importantly brake pedals. The angle on dashboard so steep that the speedometer can't be read with head jammed and neck crunched so exclamations of " How fast AM I going?" are frequent. And that because of head jammed and neck crunched every shoulder check takes us closer to mind numbing headache, and just thought I'd say that I am now totally at ease with my purchase of an 8 seater SUV.

And just thought I would mention that bugs are the new cool, not really all that new but very very cool at my house this month. We have bug dresses, bug dollies, bug diaper bags, it's really and infestation. ANd I think about my daughter who has an undying love for Bugs, Battle Tanks, Crafts, Dirt and Tinkerbelle, she really does make me smile :)

Monday, February 2, 2009

Spent the whole day running errands, out to the Air Force Base then the bank then the liscensing place. Sometimes after completeing sucha ridiculously busy day totally entwined in red tape I stumble in the door trip on my responsibilities and realize I might actually be an adult. This is before I notice the dog has been sleeping on the couch again, Abby will probably crash early and so needs supper, Norah wants to nurse, Seth and I need food, water and I still haven't gone to the bathroom. And then I think perhaps being an adult kind of sucks.... yessss you can have pizza whenever you want, but it sticks to your thighs like glue. Yessss.... you can stay up late watching movies but you still have to be up for the nursing at 3, and 7 and then the toddler at 8. Yessss.... you could can buy whatever you want but you still have to budget groceries, healthcare, dental, dog grooming, haircuts, car payments, mortgage among other things. It seemed soooo appealing when I was ten you know :)

Abby and her Papa before Norah was born and things seemed Normal :) lol

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Argh, got the grungies is right, everyone around here is sick except Seth in an ironic twist. As he is the one with little to no immune system I think it is just a matter of time. So in an attempt to feel like I have time to kill I am writing on this instead of sleeping, ahhh... pretending to have time to kill when really I have no time at all! Ah hah! Fooled you too I see :)

However I have great news, Norah's first smile was taken yesterday: and yes she is the impkin we all know she is. Not only a smile but a tongue out too! and just for comparison here is her sister's first recorded smile:

Can you tell they are sister's or what?

And just because I am feeling sentimental this morning, as well as shitty, I will include this picture to cap off the post. It's from our old house, my very first house I ever considered my own that I got to paint and decorate any which way I wanted. There is something about Texas in the morning, something about the light. I always enjoyed waking up in that house in the morning with the light streaming into the room and making me feel like anything was possible, creative possibilities were endless. And of course waking up next to these two cuties was great too, here is Abby at 6 months.