But don't worry, I don't feel that way anymore, that was back when you guys were nitpicking at me for the little things. Or for the moderately big things like when I thought that Philadelphia was a state....

I am thou... Thou art I... From the sea of thy soul, I come...Soulchild: u thnk evry thng stupid.DaCrum: Warbear, why did you suddenly become pretty cool? Stop it.BR:love is just a boner everyone is looking to fart on warbearSnafu Mods Suck 2k14(except for me #yoloswag)

Could technically be seen as poetry but I see it more as mental rambling that I wish to document.Yes, here. FOR NO REASON

Mental Ramblings/Rants

As time progresses I feel it getting worse.

Strange how when you want something to such extremes, that your mind will provide it for you.

But of course it won't be real.

And yet, I'm happy with it.

I always find myself wondering:

"Is it better to be looking at a beautiful lie? Or the dark truth?"

Reality certainly isn't all it's cut out to be.

But all these fantasy worlds, these sweet escapes we all flock to.

They're derived from reality.

From what I can tell there is technically nothing truly new or original.

Debatable, of course. But look at it this way.

When one creates a story you don't just pull these ideas out of nowhere.

They are results of memories and inspirations.

Schizophrenic visions aren't that different, in that sense.

I once saw a disturbing skinless demon bug, with a very strange somewhat indescribable form.

But I am able to notice that this seemingly original image is in fact a strange mish-mash of past memories, images combined in a frankenstein like creation.

After mentally disecting the monstrosity I can tell that it is a disturbing combination of

this:

this:

and last but not least this:

Were I an artist I would draw it, but sadly I am not.

The strange monstrosity haunted me for the longest while until I was able to deduce its origin.

Obviously this it but one example so it proves nothing, but it merely introduces the most likely already proven or dis-proven theory that "original ideas" are just the result of what you have felt with any of your senses. Therefore they technically aren't 100% original.

But if the theory was law then nothing is.

So maybe I have a point? Or perhaps I am just digging myself into a rut of ignorance.

Worst case scenario let us continue digging so that we might find treasure, or at the very least bedrock.

I understand that the monstrosity was just a hallucination that resulted from an extreme lack of sleep, but still it puzzles me how my brain, regardless of its condition, would think:

"Ya know, what would be scary? These three forgotten images combined! He should totally see this!"

I didn't want to be frightened I didn't need to be frightened it just happened.

I do believe I shall poke around both on a mental level and on the internet to see what I can learn about the creation process of such hallucinations.

Though I am not expecting too much detailed information.

While a lot is technically known about the brain and mind we are not even close to knowing everything on the matter.

True signing off.

Last edited by True Order on Thu Jul 05, 2012 1:17 am, edited 2 times in total.

If you'e wondering why I haven't actually posted any drafts or any details. Well, I am afraid of idea thieves. I know that any idiot who steals ideas for such trivial, publicly insignificant things clearly has no life or is simply the laziest of the low. But those people are still out there and I have had ideas stolen from me WAY too many times in the past to risk it now.

H: Do you enjoy it? Sending your creations to their destruction? Even after all they've been through?

I: It's a sad fact that life would have no meaning if death didn't exist. To deny them death would be to deny them life.

H: They don't have to die, you know. Death doesn't have to happen to them, it just has to have its existence proven in your world. Why not kill some random joe?

I: Well I admit that I hate that it has to end like this. I refuse to bend the truth purely because of my personal feelings. The true story will be told. It must be told.

H: Why so? There are other stories out there, they have their own truth that has been bent to the will of the writer.

I: True, but understand that some of those stories should never have been told. You know better than anyone that there are things in this world that nobody should ever know.

H: Does that stop the writer from making it? No. People will say what they want and sometimes the meaning will get mashed around. SO much that few will recognize it. Their deaths will be in vain if they send the wrong message.

I: That's the beauty of any story. Words have no meaning, people do. To read it means to give it meaning. While I do hope that the message will be sent properly as long as someone sees it and enjoys it, I will have done my job.

H: So you'll have your children suffer purely for the entertainment of a stranger?

I: Yes. Though as I said before, I am not entirely happy about it. But if you dig deep enough you'll see that in way to entertain you must suffer. History has proven this and the media proves it as well.

H: You talk of things you don't understand.

I: I speak of my own understanding of them. No individual can ever fully understand anything, there will always another detail yet to be discovered. The Infinite Iota, as some call it.

H: Are you going to pursue the knowledge of the Iota? or will you merely stay where you are, halting progress.

I: My friend, I tell you this because I care. You're being far too critical of the now, worrying about progress when this discussion is hindering it, in a way. The finer details will be focused on when we learn of them. But for now we live with what we currently know, using it to benefit all of existence to our fullest ability. Just as we've done before.

H: You can only help someone so much until they depend on you. You can truly help them by not helping them.

I: I guess we'll find out what happens then.

Last edited by True Order on Tue Jun 19, 2012 10:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."

It definitely gave me the feeling overhearing a conversation, which is a cool ambience to pull off.

"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."

"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."

H: I can't help but notice how much you're hesitating. Even more so than usual.

I: I can't focus with IT everywhere.

H: IT? You mean the feeling of tension everywhere?

I: Exactly.

H: You do know that IT has been there since the beginning of time, right?

I: I am aware of this. But it's never been this strong before, how can I not focus on it, especially when it's corrupting the image of my muse?

H: Your muse, do I know her?

I: Maybe, but I'd rather not discuss her right now.

H: So it IS a her.

I: I'd rather not discuss her.

H: Is it Misery? Or perhaps Arial? I understand that you apprenticed under her for a few years, who knows what could have happened during that time span?

I: ...

H: So you're just going to ignore me?

I: Yes. You're being really distracting and here I thought you were here to help.

H: I am here to make sure you answer all the right questions. Whether you want to or not.

I: And if I don't?

H: Well, it's not that hard for me to twist your tale until it does. But how about you tell me why you've stopped writing?

I: I'll admit it. I'm afraid, not of you, of course. But of them.

H: Them?

I: Yes. When I look around, the lies and the cliches, they smother me!

H: So you-

I: Not to mention the distractions!

H: My friend, I want to help you. You want the truth to be told just as much as I do. You can't let such things distract and bother you.

I: I just want to be true without having to be alone...

H: But you're not alone, even if you don't consider me company there are others who have never left your side. Their physical forms may be centuries, if not millenniums away, but in spirit they are beside you constantly cheering you on.

I: You know that's cliche, right?

H: Just because it's cliche doesn't make it any less true.

I: I really do miss them, though.

H: As do I. But we must push on. They would want this too.

I: Fine then, but I have other things I need to do as well.

H: Take your time. I'm not going anywhere.

Last edited by True Order on Sun Jul 01, 2012 8:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

I: Yes, you're being more of a distraction than helpful, which I thought was why you were here.

I feel like the wording of the first part should be changed. Some thing like "Yes, you're being more of a distraction than a help…." Or "Yes, you're being more distracting than helpful…"

H: Well, it's not that hard to twist your tale until it does.

This part just confused, me, I dunno what you're trying to say.

Their physical forms may be centuries if not millenniums away but in spirit they are beside you constantly cheering you on.

Just feels long to me, consider some commas or something, maybe.

"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."