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Author
Topic: You've lost weight (Read 11439 times)

Why does that statement from people, well-meaning as it may be, still strike fear in my heart? 15 years after lipo-atrophy altered the landscape of my face and body, although now likely only I am aware of the visible remnants, I cringe when someone observes I've lost weight.

I've been in good share the past few years with a regular exercise and weight routine. Last December I decided to do more cardio both to keep my lipids down and to see if I could reduce some of the deep belly fat. I lost 10 pounds and felt good, and was told I look really good, and even by my BMI I am slightly over normal but don't look it. I have a solid build.

I just had day surgery last week so that probably took off a couple pounds. But now I'm getting these comments and it's creeping me out.

Will I ever get over it? It's almost like a reverse of anorexia; I'm afraid of getting too thin.

Oh yes indeedy , it had more effect on me when I was well. Long ago gave up keeping a check on the weight. Now its done at the clinic and I think we have all excepted I am what I am , which is very very lucky to be hear at all, however much I do not weigh.

Know I get you look ..................er better.

Logged

"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ." Tony Benn

I've had a bit of experience with this and it's more delicate than the AIDS. I'm currently struggling with a lot of these issues myself. I've alluded to this for a while now and am finally addressing it.

I'm usually only offended when someone smaller than me makes these comments. I've usually witnessed the beef ridden folk who are 200 lbs comment in the negative.

Being fit and being thin are polar opposites. this for me is a complex issue and I hope you get some good guidance.

Ok, whew, it's a relief to hear you guys out there know what I'm talking about.

People in my local community, where I moved after my most difficult years of HIV, all see me as very active and healthy, and I get admiring comments for both, which is nice at 50+ and LTS poz. When I do come out to people about my status, invariably the response is "I'd never have guessed." (Yes, we can discuss THAT reaction at length some time...)

But I have been through the years of worrying about wasting and nutrition. I did have the awful lipoatrohy side effects; that was the last period when at every turn I'd see people and they'd remark how I'd lost weight. I did have some slight work done years back to minimize some of the facial changes. This was important because I do public appearances and the psychological impact of body image was an obstacle to, or at least a drag on, doing what I love. Like I said, I've done well taking care of myself and conquered many of those fears.

And of course aging plays its role too, and now it's likely many of the changes are indistinguishable from the natural changes we all experience. That may explain why my HIV-related changes are most noticeable to me and not others.

But this recent spate of weight loss comments just took be by surprise, not least by my own internal reaction and the triggering of insecurities I discover I still carry.

Oh yes !! Even now, on occasion some people will say that to me. Actually, I monitor my weight, every week, and it's always consistent. It's my face and neck that are looking kind of scrawny these days.

My other favorite is when, someone will say, " you look tired" . That bothers me even more.

I don't get the "you lost weight" comment (I've always been thin) but I do get the "you look tired" comment quite a bit. It's usually true at the time but it sometimes gets to me depending on who says it.

I don't get the "you lost weight" comment (I've always been thin) but I do get the "you look tired" comment quite a bit. It's usually true at the time but it sometimes gets to me depending on who says it.

PS- Moxie, just curious as to your height and weight. Nosey me.

Oh gosh, it's just like an online profile. I could pose as anyone. Hmmm....nah.

Of course I don't mind. These forums are all about brutal honesty, right?

I am 5'7.5" (OK 5'8" for most purposes) and currently with recent extra pounds lost (assuming from surgery) about 168-170. I was in the low 180s for a while up to December, down to 172 as of August after new cardio routine and several very active months.

I've had a relatively stocky build most of my adult life and used to be more filled-out pre 2000. Regular strength training so that combined with lipo issues leads me to believe I have a low body fat ratio. However, as I mentioned I have had reported deep body fat issues related to lipodystrophy. That also means I worry I have less to work with if I do keep losing weight.

While I did have some lipiatrophy, my big problem was lipohypertrophy.

Mark

Yes, that. When I took Crixivan, that's when the stomach issue started. I've been told many times "how far along are you?" due to my belly sticking out, though the proportion is weird. It can look like I'm pregnant.

I do get the "you look tired" comments also. But I almost always am.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Lipo was/is a cruel twist, it was like you can stay alive but you look very differant.

I remember being at the gym first noticing that all the veins in my legs seemed to be be bulging then that something had stolen my bubble butt.

sigh

Oh yeah. I only learned what subcutaneous fat was when I realized it was going or gone. And Crixivan...yeesh!

As I said, I'm at a point in my life where many of the changes are hard to distinguish from changes caused by natural aging. I guess I should add that to the lists of blessings of being allowed to reach this age. It certainly was much more difficult to deal with in my 30s.

Lipo changes are indeed a cruel twist, and as you see from my originating post, and from others, it has lingering psychological as well as physical effects, and actually which often outlast the physical effects.

One last note in response to Mark. Thank you for sharing and describing your own difficult experiences with lipo effects. I want to be clear that in my posting stream here I am not poor-mouthing my current physical condition; I know I am very fortunate to have good health right now. My point throughout this discussion is the lingering stigma of weight loss and body changes that haunts me even when I should be appreciating myself, including good health.

Kinda strange that it appears ok to comment on someone being too thin while it's taboo to comment on someone being overweight. We started our euchre league last night and I ordered a small salad and was told that I really should eat something more substantial.

Salads with dressing have as many calories as a hamburger and I don't understand the need for virtual strangers to make such comments. I could just see it now if I suggested a salad to some overweight person who was opting for a super sized meal.

Kinda strange that it appears ok to comment on someone being too thin while it's taboo to comment on someone being overweight. We started our euchre league last night and I ordered a small salad and was told that I really should eat something more substantial.

Salads with dressing have as many calories as a hamburger and I don't understand the need for virtual strangers to make such comments. I could just see it now if I suggested a salad to some overweight person who was opting for a super sized meal.

Yes Wolfter , That is how i see myself A Plumper . I have been told to eat less Having HIV and growing older does not set well with me , I loose weight super easy . But then people LOOK and say OMG ! You look to thin The fact people like us can tell whom has " IT " and who does not does not help matters at all . As a gay man I find the Male body to be a precious item , At almost 60 I find the need to try and repair the damage of neglecting myself . I learned early on that cloths make the man . May not be good for all but works for me . Having a husband that still has almost the same body as 35 years ago does not help my self image , I'm happy to have someone that just tells me : " Your just getting old " , I should find it a comfort , I don't . As for Moxie , I wish i had your will power to work out . Hopefully , and yes hopefully ! This is my year to get off my ass and just do it . Weasel

As for Moxie , I wish i had your will power to work out . Hopefully , and yes hopefully ! This is my year to get off my ass and just do it .

Thanks, Weasel. There's some will power involved, but also the incentive of knowing first hand how important it is to make sure I'm in the best shape possible to face health issues, be it HIV, drug side effects, surgery, etc. I know too many people who put off basic things like simple strength training or activity to maintain muscle mass, and then have to climb out of a deep whole after a health crisis.

I also like in a small community with a large retiree population. I go the local Y, and usually I am, at 50+, the one of the younger guys there. I see and socialize with men and women who are into their 70s and 80s. Believe me, body image is NOT an issue and the sense of camaraderie and support is really nice. We all have health issues, be they aging related or HIV related.

This is such a welcome change after many years of urban gym-bunny fitness centers, and rewards me with a valuable perspective on life and health and fitness.

I think about that tonight. I am maybe 25 pounds heavy. All the people who shared that grim joke with me are dead.

Maybe there are stages of gaining weight as well.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

I truly envy people that live in area's where there are WMCA's or other forms of Gym's available at low cost or even at all . I live almost 50 miles to the closest Public Gym , so I'm not going My twin has a fabulous Home GYM ! I do not believe the exercise he has gotten from it has been more than carting the parts up three flights of stairs to a big room on the thrid floor , and that was 20 years ago ... He did assemble it thou

jkinatl2 , That hit like a lead balloon ! I remember that joke well , and yes most ,not all but MOST of my friends from back then are dead I think the term Bear has replaced " Chubby " ? Not sure , But I'll go for the bear look .

Body image is a nasty business. I'm not really sure why we measure ourselves by our body rather than our deeds and character.

Well harleymc , I was sitting at Rocc's Pizza last night when the hunkiest new Bar tender arrived ! 6 foot 2 , Tall dark and hansom as ever a man could be , I turned to my sister and said IF I were 35 years younger I would be walking up to the bar Not sure of his Character or good deeds but he was the best looking man ( 22 years old ? ) I have seen in ages . No amount of wondering why we are concerned with body images will ever stop me from knowing a good one

Weasel

P.S. I've been lucky so far , But if I needed to bounce back from a health issue , I could be in a pickle . So that reminder my be enough to get me to find whatever I need to get a few more muscles .

P.P.S. On a second note , I find the more POZ peoples I meet and get to know , I can no longer say all my HIV friends are dead . That is my new world and it works for me , I really do pray to be 93 and still have my POZ friends with me

P.P.S. On a second note , I find the more POZ peoples I meet and get to know , I can no longer say all my HIV friends are dead . That is my new world and it works for me , I really do pray to be 93 and still have my POZ friends with me

I think about that tonight. I am maybe 25 pounds heavy. All the people who shared that grim joke with me are dead.

Maybe there are stages of gaining weight as well.

I'm starting to remember things such as this and actually chuckle now. The other Greg and I went from trying on several pairs of slacks, comparing which ones made us look thinner to suddenly deciding which ones made us look fuller.

Come across any bears, lately? You eating berries, stocking up and getting fat for that long Maine winter hibernation? You never know. You might be sleeping and sleeping and suddenly get all woken up and need that extra energy just to fend off an amorous attack from a lusty, grizzly bear.