Quick Questions With Brad Williams

Fullerton native Brad Williams is a favorite around Southern California and when he's not busy touring the country and has the chance to grace us with a stop in town, we jump at the chance to talk to this powerhouse. We keep up with this guy as much as we can and since we know that his newest CD "Hi Ho" came out last November and his podcast "About Last Night" is as successful as ever, we thought we'd hit him with a little rapid fire this time around. (Sorry about the "little" part.) Before he headlines the Brea Improv March 21st through 23rd, we dug a bit deeper with Williams to get to the bottom of a few random inquiries we had in mind by playing a game we like to call, "Quick Questions."

Beer or Liquor- Liquor, my drink is Jack and Ginger Ale. It makes me feel manly and childlike at the same time.

Craziest thing you've ever done while drunk- Go onstage. I'll never do that again. I thought I was killing but when I got offstage, the club owner wanted to kill me.

Vanilla Ice or Marky Mark- Marky Mark. He owned his white boy image and turned it into an amazing career. Never go against Dirk Diggler.

Madonna, Lady Gaga, or same thing anyway? Madonna. She did it first. I hope Gaga doesn't copy everything Madonna does and turn into an old British bitch.

Do you prefer a stripper on the pole or on a chair? On a chair...acting like a stripper. Not on the pole acting like Cirque du Soleil. Plus the chair reminds me of Flashdance.

Favorite cartoon as a kid- Dino Riders and Exo Squad. Those shows also had the best toys. Everything for boys had plastic missiles and stuff. Now what do boys play with? A sponge that lives in a pineapple? I'll pass.

Favorite cartoon as an adult- South Park. The fact that an episode of South Park is put together in less than a week amazes me. If Matt Stone and Trey Parker wrote a ballet I would buy tickets for opening weekend.

Who in your life is funny but doesn't realize how hilarious they are? My Mom. She doesn't try at all. She's just so dry and naive. I love her.

I knew comedy was my calling when... I went on stage for the first time. I'm scared to do heroin because if it's more awesome then my first time on stage, I'll be in real trouble.

Top 5 places to perform in no particular order- Brea, Denver, CO (Go Broncos), Columbus, OH, Columbia, Missouri, and Seattle, WA. Not all big cities but sometimes the small cities are the most appreciative.

Hickeys: acceptable or fucking disgusting? Disgusting. I wish the hickey looked like the person who gave it to you. Then people would be way more selective.

Would you ever go on Dancing With the Stars? Hell yes! A breakdancing dwarf would blow their minds. Plus, I look adorable in a tuxedo. Like a sexy penguin.

If you were on death row, what would you pick as your last meal? Kate Upton

Honestly, when was the last time you checked your MySpace? Six years ago. And I haven't closed it. Still gotta hold on hope man.

Manscape or all natural? All natural. As a dwarf, I already look like a little kid so I'm leaving every marking that I'm a man.

Would you rather: live without TV for a lifetime or without radio? Sorry Kevin and Bean but, I would go without radio.

Biggest pet peeve- People who tell stories that don't know how to tell stories. As a comic I just want to scream, "GET TO THE POINT!"

What's something you plan on accomplishing this year because you didn't last year? Getting my own TV show.

Best advice you've ever received- "Martini's are like women's tits, one isn't enough but three is too many." -From my Father