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Annual: Top 10 Worst Celeb Ads

1. Gillette, Tiger Woods, Thierry Henry and Roger Federer

December 12, 2008

How long?

2-3 minutes

The last thing you want when you're showering and shaving after a
workout at the gym is three black-suited giggling idiots hitting you
with sporting equipment. Gillette used the sports stars in two ads this
year, and they were both rubbish. However, it's the second one that
deserves to be mocked the most.

2. Country Life, John Lydon

"I am an antichrist. I am an anarchist." Er, not anymore. Now he's
wandering around the countryside dressed in tweed, worrying cows,
sneering at farmers and banging on about crumpets. Yes, he's always
admitted to being a sell-out, and, yes, the 70s were a long time ago -
but is nothing sacred? Really? It's just so sad to see someone who was a
trailblazer in an anti-establishment movement on his knees for the
corporate (yellow fats) dollar.

3. Kellogg's cereals, Dame Kelly Holmes

God bless Dame Kelly. Seriously, for her athletic ability, she deserves
our utmost respect. For her acting ability, she deserves to be put in
stocks and have rancid fruit thrown at her. Not even Keanu Reeves can
kill a role stone dead as well as she does. Toe-curling.

4. Knorr Stock Pot, Marco Pierre White

Apparently, Marco Pierre White's kids have the most discerning taste of
anyone he cooks for. Things have obviously changed quite a lot since
White's childhood in Leeds when you ate your fish finger sandwiches with
a smile on your face and were thankful you got anything at all.

5. Premier Travel Inn, Lenny Henry

Lenny Henry says: "Premier Inn. Everything's premier, but the price."
Campaign disagrees. Things that aren't premier: the script, the acting,
the choice of celebrity, the really, really unfortunate bath scene, the
kids in the lobby and the idea. Even the rubber duck is annoying. And
it's inanimate.

6. Sharpie pens, David Beckham

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Just a couple of years ago, David Beckham
was one of the hottest advertising commodities in the world. His face
and tattoos adorned television screens, poster sites and magazine pages
all over the world, for a number of high-quality brands. Now he's
hawking pens, badly, and fighting a little Asian girl. Does he really
need the money?

7. Inland Revenue, Moira Stewart

Internal: Office. Creative meeting going on. Creative one: "Right. The
brief says it's about two different dates and we need a celebrity."
Creative two: "OK. Moira Stewart, because she's serious and sensible,
and two people in kitchen with one asking the other out ... on a date.
Brilliant, eh?" No. Rubbish. Go back to college.

8. BBC Radio 1, various DJs

This ad really does do something special. It manages to make a bunch of
pretentious Radio 1 DJs (Tim Westwood, Dave Pearce, Zane Lowe, Trevor
Nelson etc) look even more pretentious. Now that is talent. And it goes
on for what feels like hours. This cinema ad must have ruined hundreds
of films for thousands of viewers. This ad, by Agency Republic, is proof
that digital agencies should leave TV alone.

9. Nintendo Wii, the Redknapps

Talk about beauty and the beast - Louise and Harry. This ad showcases
the worst Sunday afternoon in the history of the world. But the biggest
disappointment is that Jamie isn't wearing a tie with a massive
footballer's knot in it.

10. Microsoft, various

Just when you think that this ad, which uses the idea of mixing celebs
and real people together to show just how universal Microsoft is, is too
saccharine to stomach - up pops Bill Gates himself. The only light
relief is that the French people sound like they're saying "I'm pissy",
instead of "I'm a PC".