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No but Seriously: A Pledge

Last time you heard from me I promised I wouldn’t keep you waiting too long for another post but I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I’m a liar.

Actually, I’m just lazy and I’ve been struggling to come up with things to talk about on here.

20 years old and already running out of material. I’ve got a long career ahead of me.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my blog content lately. I originally created this thing to use it as a tool for me to experiment with comedic writing. A way for me to try and branch out from my typical depressing and over-emotional writing.

And you people seem to love it.

I get messages, comments, and texts from people I haven’t spoken to ever in my life telling me that they love my writing, I have a “true voice” and other ridiculously kind compliments.

As much as I truly appreciate your feedback and continuous support, I feel as if I’m not staying true to myself or to you guys.

I don’t want you all to think that this is who I am. Because it’s not. It’s a part of me, but I’m more than an underage alcoholic who throws up in inappropriate locations.

****I also want to take a moment to take note that I am in no way a distinguished writer with any sort of clue with what I want to accomplish here. I don’t even know what I want my voice to be but I do know that I want it to be true.****

This has a lot to do with why I haven’t been posting a lot recently. Every time I go to write something funny or mildly entertaining, nothing comes out. I get writer’s block just like the rest of the world, but this is something different. As silly as it sounds, I put a lot of effort and thought into what I write regardless of the subject matter.

One of the main reasons I want to be a writer is to help people. For a long time I thought the only way for me to do that was for me to share every dark and depressing aspect of my life. Then I decided to ignore that part of my life because it seemed to define me as a person.

So I dabbled in writing that makes people laugh.

But you know what? I want to reach people on every level.

I want to make you laugh. I want to make you cry. I want to make you think.

I want to make you happy. I want to make you angry. I want to make you understand.

I want you to know about when I got rolled out of my high school math class in a wheelchair because I thought I was going to shit my pants.

I want you to know about how sometimes I cry because Bill Cosby isn’t my father.

I want you to know about that one time I chopped my hair off with a pair nail clippers.

I want you know about the time I got so mad I punched a brick wall and fractured my hand.

I want you to know about how sometimes I sit down in the shower and the water has turned ice cold before I can muster up the strength to stand back up.

I want you to know about how sometimes I get so sad that I jump out of my bedroom window and wander around in the middle of the night.

You’re probably wondering why I want you to know these things and I’m not 100% sure why, but part of it is that I’m tired of picking and choosing who I want people to think I am.

So from here on out, just know that you’re going to be getting it all from me because when I start lying to you guys, I start lying to myself. And I’m not about that life.

Also, this doesn’t mean that every post is going to be sad. I’m still going to be strikingly hilarious.