I Remember With Sadness....

September 11....

I remember this day like it was yesterday! I remember it with sadness and with horror! And with some hope and some joy...I will tell you why...Just listen....

Working a twelve hour shift that night...I returned home, exhausted and just wanting to crash in my cozy bed...I get shaky after a long, busy shift and my body has always hated nights. I was dozing when I was awakened by the loud and urgent exclamation by someone dear to me. He informed me that a plane had crashed into one of the twin towers! My vision was blurry as I stumbled to the TV, and regarded, even then, with horror the startling sight of a plane in flames parked in the top of the building. Fire and smoke poured out of the building as correspondents rapidly reported the horror before them. Being tired, I asked him to keep an eye on the situation and let me know what had happened, hopefully when I awakened. I hoped by some chance that it had been a dreadful mistake. Returning to bed, I fell asleep instantly with the thought of this calamity heavy on my mind...

What seemed like a few minutes later, he shook me awake again. Loudly reporting, "Cyn, It was deliberate. It is a terrorist attack. My God! It is horrible!" Again, I rushed unsteadily to the TV. More photos-more live reports! People scattering! Clouds of smoke and debris Desperate people plummeting to their deaths by jumping from high in the sky! I was horrified and saddened like never before! Though tired, all thoughts of me evaporated! Who gave a crap that I had to return to work that evening? The world had changed forever! Forever! And we were witness to the devastation...the horror...the heroes....the victims...The death and destruction.....I was devastated!

How could this be? In this-our part of the world-civilized world! On this planet of human beings who live and love and care! I know their is hatred and anger and evil! I am not stupid! But this horror-one could never imagine this horror!

Stories of bravery. The magnificent men and women of the Port Authority, firefighters, police, rescue personnel, ordinary people, etc. Those who died trying to save others. These heroes-brothers and sisters we are (service personnel)-who never stood a chance. Who would have entered the building regardless of knowing there was no hope for anyone. Who died comforting the dying. Who died climbing the heights of the building. Who died as heroes die. Bravely. Compassionately. With love. With respect for human lives. With tenderness. With love. With love. With love. And my eyes fill with tears as they always do when I discuss this. All the people who died for what? For what? What the hell did they die for? To satisfy the whim of evil? To satisfy hatred? For what reason did these wonderful human beings die? The fathers and mothers and sisters and brothers and the lovers and the friends and the acquaintances and the workers.....Why?

To this day, I still watch documentaries on this event. And I watch them with sadness and horror still... And I pray...And I am not one to pray....Rarely do I pray and when I do, I pray for others...Never for myself...I pray this will never happen again. And I pray we don't forget. And I pray that evil will be eliminated one day on this earth. I pray for all of us. I pray for them. I pray for us. September 11 changed the world. We need to change the world now...Thank you for listening.

Tuesday, September 11, 2001 8:58 am. I've arrived at one of my nursing homes and see a gathering of nurses in front of a TV in a recreation room watching the horror unfold. As I continue through my day performing housecalls, I don't miss a beat as every household is tuned to the news. My wife has a cousin who was a NY firefighter. He was young with a family and is now on disability with chronic lung disease from breathing in the air at ground zero. I was born and raised in New York. The twin towers stood as a monument to man's achievement. As you drove across the Throg's Neck Bridge into Queens you couldn't help but notice them as you cast a glance toward Manhattan. They are noticeably gone now from the New York skyline. I had been to the top of the towers twice. With my wife, brother and sister-in-law on one occasion and then again in 1999 to celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary. I have seen the twisted metal on display in Battery Park. I have seen the 9/11 tribute at the Air Force Acadamy in Colorado Springs as well as the memorial constructed from remnants of the facade of the Pentagon at the Naval War College at Naval Station, Newport, RI. There are events in people's lives that they never forget when and where they were. This was one of them. The other is Friday, November 22, 1963, 1:00pm.

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