never leave home without bacon. you never know when you might need it

pocket bacon might just save your life someday. Kind of like McGuiver can stop a nuke from going off with some dental floss, chocolate bars, and a bong, bacon can do many things.
– Distract large security guards chasing you
– fend off hippies
– attract woodland creatures to do your bidding
– hail cabs
– remove sweat from your brow
– cushion a fall if in the correct pocket
– literally thousands of uses

And this bacon is dishwasher safe, microwaveable, and contains fiber 😉