Say what you will about Miley Cyrus's recent ascent to the golden, weird-smelling throne atop Mt. Twerks-a-Lot (and people have justifiably said plenty to question her, uh, "artistic decisions"), but if nothing else, at least she seemed to be having a little fun in the process. Granted, much of the frequently discussed energy of, say, her MTV Video Music Awards performance felt manufactured and confusingly, off-puttingly over-the-top, but there was enthusiasm there to begin with. Such is most assuredly not the case in Rihanna's new video for her dour, cold strip-club anthem, "Pour It Up" (oh for the love of God do not watch this at work, you will probably be fired before you can click play).

It's likely there will be some moral hand-wringing in the media over the next few days regarding this video, as the women — including Rihanna herself — are depicted with less than a complete focus on their complex personalities and the humanity at the core of their being. It's more a master's-thesis on the slow-motion physics of buttcheeks.

That's a discussion worth having (the objectification of the ladies, not the butts), because even though the women in "Pour It Up" are most certainly beautiful — and you'd have to suspect strong, independent people — nothing here comes off as celebratory of female sexuality. Instead, it shuffles wearily into the territory of exploitative. In short, though Rihanna's mere presence as usual is enough to birth an army of sexy GIFs, it's unlikely you're going to watch this and feel good. Ever.

Which brings us back to the point, and indeed, the central question: Why does Rihanna appear so bored and sad? Here's a young, fabulously attractive, unimaginably successful, popular person who does not so much as approach cracking a smile, despite the fact that she's ostensibly occupying a landscape littered with cash and naked, gyrating people (although that would probably make your commute a little distressing). This is not altogether new, as she's always had a certain distance to her voice, and perhaps her artistic persona in general, but there have been stylistic flourishes that made up for that in the past; consider the urgent beat of "We Found Love" or the shocks of color in "Rude Boy." There were, at least, hints of energy to be found. Not here.

Instead, we get to hang out for a few minutes with Team Stripper Frown. And while you'd be hard-pressed to criticize someone who has to make a living at a strip club for frowning every now and again, we're talking about Rihanna here. Is it so hard for her to look like she's having just a little fun being perhaps the most important female artist on the planet?

Because if she can't offer us a little more — personality, humanity, something — then the stylistic choices of "Pour It Up" become more and more perplexing. This cast of sad people twerking on a few inches of sitting water doesn't seem, after all, like it's intended to be provocative or the prompt to a cultural discussion about how women are poorly treated in videos, or in real-life strip clubs. It feels, distressingly, like a grimmer version of precisely the exploitative, hollow act that Miley was skewered so vehemently for. Come to think of it, I can see why Ri appears to be so bummed out.

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Kenneth Gagnon is a writer from New Hampshire. You can read his fiction and nonfiction at kennethgagnon.com, and at places like The Millions, Menda City Review, and Chamber Four. Hunt him down on twitter @floppingtitties (seriously).