Take a good, long look at the blackened thing in this photo.It is a Big Toe off someone’s foot.It is sitting in salt to preserve it.I am not sure why this one is “blackened”,
but the original one was that colour because of the owner getting his toes
frozen – for whatever reason.

Now this Big Toe and other Big Toes have been used in a bizarre ritual
in the Yukon – specifically in Dawson City, Yukon.The bar serves a drink entitled “the sourtoe”.The person that takes on this act of
stupidity must drink all of the shot in the glass and let the Toe touch his or
her lips as they finish the last sip.

Recently the Toe was swallowed by some idiot. The idiot paid the $500
fine that had been levied on any one that swallowed the Toe… and walked out.

Really!His swagger after he left
the scene of “the crime” likely told everyone of his great pride in doing what
he did.

Imagine!!

Now after many, many years of studying the human anatomy and in particular
the digestive tract of the human body (my own) – I have picked up a few
pointers that must be passed on to the idiot.

Idiot – do you have any idea of the lack of hygiene that swirling around
that Toe before you slipped it into to your mouth and then took that big gulp!?No amount of alcohol could stop the decay
that was already taking place inside. Gag me! I think of what was under the toe
nail alone is enough to make be hurl…

Idiot – do you feel a small and yet growing pain in your side?It might be about belly button high but it is
growing each hour now.The flesh that
was left on the Toe is now removed but your gut acids and the bone is exposed –
but the big toe nail will not dissolve at all!It is now digging its way through your lower intestine and scratching,
clawing and mauling every inch of your tube.YOU ARE IN TROUBLE – BIG TIME!

By this time your stool is likely blackened by the excessive bleeding of
the upper intestine… and as the blood comes into the stool you are seeing the
ravage of the big toe nail clawing at you gut.

Way to go idiot!

The hotel didn’t want to give out your name because they do not want to
give you credit – where credit is due.But the hospital staff will likely be rolling in the hallways as they
see you suffer through these last days.And if you are the American kind of idiot that comes to the north you do
not have Canadian Health Care – and you will pay. If you are lucky enough to
make it home to the USA before the toe nail claws its way into your abdomen and
then peritonitis sets in – you will pay even more in the good old USA – without
insurance.

To get even with the Hotel in Dawson my dear idiot, you need to pass whatever
parts of the toe that does make it through you anal canal… and place that in a
drink at the Hotel.

The partially digested toe in a drink will definitely take someone real
stupid to try it…

Bottoms up idiot… and all the other idiots that have tried this act of
bravado!!!

Yikes – 5 days without posting can make your friends wonder if you have
eaten a Cronut Burger or two – then died.

Apologies to all of the faithful followers of this Blog… Nope not sick
and have not eaten the Cronut Burger.Just too cotton picking busy!

Today I want to make a recommendation for a great movie. This movie
likely will be showing up for some really big awards in the next twelve months
or so. Very few movies will have the impact that this one will have on this
generation and the generations to come.

In some ways it may even become required viewing for every child in
school to avoid the horrors of the past.

I lived through the era of “The Butler” – that’s the movie I want you to
see. I lived through a time that very few of us northern, white folk had a
sweet clue what was happening down south… or around the world.

We knew nothing of the hatred by white folks for the “coloreds”.Until it appeared on our black and white TVs
of the time we were ignorant.

“The Butler” is one of the best stories ever – and it is based on a true
story which makes it even better.

How good is it?Well the theater
we were in was packed as it is almost every night so far.And when the show was over people were applauding
in the dark. A number of people sat stunned and some were wiping their eyes as
they dealt with the amount of information that they had been given.

I don’t want to give away what the movie is all about – if you have not
seen it.You simply need to see this one
– IT IS AMAZING!

Over the years I stopped counting the number of times that we have been
at the CNE (Canadian National Exhibition) in Toronto.And each time we have gone it has been
primarily for the Food Experience. The “Food Building” is the best place on
Earth – during the month of August!Without a doubt that has been true.

My mouth waters each time we remember the delicious Roti made with
Curried Goat – wow!

But this year was different; we didn’t get a chance to go.Too busy and too many responsibilities with
my aging mother.

This year there was hype over a new sensation called the Cronut Burger
sold by “Epic Burgers and Waffles”.

However with over 150 reported cases of food poisoning by folk that ate
this big, sloppy delight… this food place was shut down.Something in that day’s burger was tainted
with a nasty little bug that caused a severe stomach reaction and these people
got really, really sick!

Of course in Toronto that made big news.

In Hong Kong we called “Hong Kong Dog”. In Thailand it was called, “Bangkok
Belly”.And the results in either case
was not something you wanted ever… but it is also not something that the health
authorities were called about.Nothing
was ever shut down… people just avoided the shop that made them sick.

As I mulled over this I couldn’t help but think that we really shouldn’t
be eating certain things. Not good for me at all…!

But then I am susceptible to all the hype… the smell and the feeling
that I just have to have one!

Oh the power of food over my poor old body!

But as I stare at the photo of the Cronut Burger – I do not want
one.My mind has recorded enough
negative stuff… that I will not bite one…EVER.How about you?

I seriously question how the Epic Folk will ever recover from this. It is
reported that the Food Stall will open in the next day or so.If that happens the News and Media folk will
be there to watch the dude that takes the first big bite… I am sure. Can’t wait
to see what will happen!!

This Blog Post is strictly reactionary in every way. It is a reaction to
the letter that Karla Begley and Brenda Millison have now in their possession. It came by mail from a neighbor – supposedly that
lives close to Ms. Millison.

Suggestions in the letter were to have Brenda’s son Maxwell be moved or euthanized.
Maxwell has a form of autism.His
actions and acting out is not something the author of the letter likes or wants
in her community.The writer is
suggesting that the 13 year old boy be done away with.

Yep. This is Canada and it is 2013.

In Hong Kong I witnessed people cover up or put out of site their
deformed children. I saw evidence of children and then right up to their adult
stage of life, locked in closets because of the family’s shame.

In my own family my Grandfather was not specially excited about his own
son being out in public… or at times even taking him out.It wasn’t necessarily embarrassment but the
huge undertaking that it was to take my uncle anywhere. My uncle was a quadriplegic,
that was not always clean nor was he quiet… but my Grandfather and all of us
loved Uncle Bob.

Our family has had to deal with the uncomfortable situations that exist
when a loved one is crippled in some way.

Having a neighbor react this way can only be a huge problem for how his
family already feels for Maxwell and what they do regularly to look after him.

To whoever wrote the letter, please consider this.Society, if it should adopt the suggestions
that you have offered for Maxwell, might well want to rid itself of hateful
neighbors too. You could well be on the list that you wish someone would react
to and do it your way. What if they wanted to KILL YOU, dear concerned
neighbor?

In Nazi Germany they carried out this kind of hateful suggestions by one
very ignorant man – Hitler. The world hated him and you will soon find it also
hates you – too.

Have a great week hiding dear neighbor.They are going to find you and then you will be MOVING SOON!

He was small and mighty. His eyes were focused and his intent was clear.
But he couldn’t last forever no matter how cunning he was with all his ways.

Recently one of his relatives in our neighbourhood brought down and 290
giant. It happened in the stairwell of the giant’s home when he was attempting
to flee the home invader. The giant rolled down the stairs and hit the bottom
to landing area with a thud.They
called the ambulance for the 290 pounder… and the home invader was set free.

Can you imagine the police did nothing about this home invasion? When 911
was called the lady on the phone asked what the emergency was… and when the
home invader was explained and that the 290 pounder was down because of the
invasion… there was a definite smirk that could be heard on the face of the 911
operator.

But last evening our home didn't have so much as a tea over turned as the home
invader took control of his invasion.

I was notified by my wife when I heard her shriek from the kitchen.She was very upset as I ran toward the
kitchen door.

Okay – you now have the setting for the full story.

I had a little earlier come back into the house from my workshop and TV
program that I was watching.I had taken
with me a bowl of cereal for my evening snack. While doing this with great care
and not wanting to spill milk all over the floor a Big Bat had entered with
swoop.I had closed the door before the
Big Bat had realised that he was trapped in the house.

My wife was sitting at the table in the kitchen minding her own business
when the critter did some fancy flying at her head… and it was about then that
she let out her shriek.

The next few minutes were nothing but fun as we watched the Bat swoop
back and forth from room to room looking for a place to get out or find
shelter.

He first found refuge in our book case on a large book. Laying there
very still among the travel books no one will see him – he thought.

Swish he was gone again into full flight… but now slower as he was
tiring out from this 20 minute flight program in our house.He next landed under the living room chair
definitely tired and not able to go far… and likely confused.

I had opened both the front and back doors to see if he could get the
idea – out is better than down and out.

In the kitchen where he first entered is where he left on his own.

The fishing net this time didn’t work – he grabbed a hold in the netting
and crawled through. Must have learned that trick from the last time!

My wife can really move!She was
at the door with one heart beat and slammed it shut.She then ran to the front door so another one
wouldn’t get in either.

Whew!What fun.

And we didn’t call 911.

Update – the 290 pounder friend of mine is okay.The ambulance guy got him up and nothing was
broken but he was sore. As to the Big Bat in their house… well the ambulance
attendant used to work in pest control and he got the bat out by opening the
doors too. Too funny.

I have nephews and nieces, as well as grandkids that are doing very well
in their athletic endeavors. They are fast, they are strong and they are smart
in each of their sports. Completely committed to what they do – they all are
excelling.In fact one is an Olympian
having competed in China and then in London.

Well this week, at 69 years old I proved that I can keep up to the best
of these young ones in my family. I can very likely outrun an Olympian and
mover much quicker than the best of them all!This grandpa is no slouch and he can clear the highest objects nearby,
sprint with unwavering ability when called upon by all his senses.I am still good in every way physically adept!
So when you look at me you see a little over weight and slightly old person,
grey hair and all. So you think I can’t do it… eh?

Well the other evening I proved it. No doubt there.

I had finished working in my garage and had loaded the vehicle for the next
day’s activities.It was about 11 PM and
dark.The automatic yard light came on
for me as I approached the back of my vehicle ready to shut it all down.

BAM! Kerwhammy! Every danger sense in my body rocketed to the forefront…
and I jumped straight up in the air, as I was going up I turned a graceful 180
degrees and landed with my feet churching the driveway.With another great leap I was on my deck and
into the house. My heart was racing and my chest heaving as I gasped for
air.Olympian – you bet!

What ever happened in that split second?

At the back of the vehicle as the light switched on was a Skunk waddling
from beside my car and past my foot.Like we are talking less than two feet away from me!Good Lord I am breathing fast right now as I
think of the Skunk being that close to me.I can see his black and white fur shimmering below my feet as I jumped
up and away… this image is firmly fixed in my mind’s eye… never to be forgotten
again.

So you see young people… you never lose it. My last big race was when I
was 19 years old… and now 50 years later… I can still do it!

The little boy’s eyes lit up as he peered over the edge of the table.All I could see from my side of the table was
his big bright eyes and the top of his head as he looked into the Fairy
Village.His mommy responded, “Just
look, don’t touch.”

I assured his mom that, “It was all touchable for the kids.”She smiled…

I was at the Peterborough Square Mall on Wednesday again with my display
of wood carvings and this last few weeks I have been showing off my Fairy
Houses and Fairy Villages.My best
audience is the kids that come by with their parents.They can see things that parents often walk
by with little thought.

Today I want to show you my new set of photos for the Fairy Houses.
Hopefully someone else will be inspired to build a Fairy House and perhaps even
create Fairy Villages.If you are the one
that will do that – you will be responsible for setting on fire and lighting up
and imagination in “little people”.But
fare warning… the “little people” are not always children. My first big customer
was a man that was a retired school teacher that decided to build a Fairy
Village in his backyard (for his grandkids I think).

I was standing at the magazine
rack in Chapters.Beside me was very
tall man with a baseball cap on and a sweat shirt.He had just placed the magazine he had been
looking at back where he had picked it from.Then I spoke.

He offered, “No I am just
looking for magazines with patterns of “Wood Spirits” in them.”

It was then that I
recognized the dude.We had met about 15
years ago through my previous employment as a minister of a church.He was a son-in-law of one of the
congregants.

We greeted each other and
both remembered when we last spoke to each other… I think it was a funeral.

I offered, “I started a full
time wood carving course when I retired.It has gone well.”

Then waiting for the next,
normal exchange… I looked at him.

“I would never charge for my
wood carving!” he exclaimed, “I give all my things I carve away, either to my
family or to friends.” The gleam in his eyes told me of his great pride in
doing what he could for those around him.

I gulped… and wondered what
I should say next.The guy was a buffoon
and had just told me that I was wrong for charging anyone for my work. As a
wood carver I should give it away… free of charge and to anyone that might ask
me for it.

I dove in and told him, “You
could help support your retirement if you set a good price…”

But he interrupted my polite
encouragement by saying, “I would NEVER do THAT!”

Suddenly I felt dirty and
stupid and wanting to run from that place.‘What an idiot you are Lincoln! How could you charge for something that
should be given away?!’ ran through my confused little mind.

I was at fault – truly. I
should never have greeted the dude. I knew what he was like and why he and I
never saw eye to eye on much of anything.Now I know why he was always aloof when speaking with anyone. He was
better than they were and they were dumber than he was. Choke me up quickly –
before I say more.

“Have good whatever!” I said
as controlled as I could. I was going offer him any more time.I knew whatever I said would be not good
enough for this guy. Whatever topic I chose would be less than he would have
done or is doing.

I told you he was a buffoon…
a big buffoon.

I left the store shortly
after that and vowed to not let myself slip again… introducing a potential
discussion with any possible buffoon.

Definition of Buffoon…

1.buf·foon/bəˈfo͞on/

Noun

A
ridiculous but amusing person; a clown.

Synonyms

clown
- jester - zany - harlequin - fool - merry-andrew

I
rolled around last evening muttering to myself between dreams… I could have
told him… nah!Not worth it…!

Note to self:Check
out the Magazine shelves and area for potential Buffoons… arghhh!!!

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Misty Hollow Carving is the sponsor of this Blog. Misty Hollow began in 2008. This is some of "The Misty Hollow Story" and how the Northumberland Community Futures Development Corporation helped me. The Video was created by Chris Oliver of CCO Productions

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Murray Lincoln

The Wood Carver of Misty Hollow

About the Wood Carver of "Misty Hollow"

Murray launched Misty Hollow carving in 2008 after retiring as a Minister. Now besides working at his Misty Hollow Carving Shop he is also involved in a number of volunteer roles in the community. Contact Murray at murray.lincoln@gmail.com