(Workin' on de books where) I gon tell you stories - true, true stories - like me gran'pa and me nanee and cha cha used to do, and they ancestors too.
Take half, leave half, cry or laff, enjoy the gyaff. What you learn is up to you.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Early to bed, early to rise. Etc.

Is who did say “Early to bed, early to rise makes a gyal healthy, wealthy and wise”?Man look, soak that in hot water and boil it with plenty grain o’ salt, you lucky if it feed you. Every blinking night I find me tail early o’ clock in bed, and every blooming morning, as the sky start to blush rose pink, I jooking me hand under me pillow, poking me head under me bed, searching for this Wealth.

One day I find a 50 cent coin under me bed.

You know they does say, “Another day, another dollar”?

Heh.

That was another day, another 50 cent. I should invest it, lemme find a financial advisor.

As for the other two. Healthy and Wise.

Healthy? If somebody say that Kitchy Coo is a disease going ‘round now, I get it instantly. I ain’t know the symptoms but I swear I ketch it right away. I think it was li’l sister who did say me is a hypocondreeack…? That’s the word? She always think she know everything. But I don't run to doctors in a hurry so I don’t know what she talking about.

And Wise?

Well, they say Guyana got a bad brain drain. That mean all the smart people gone abroad. So if all the brains from here leak and gone abroad, and me still here...

...What that tell you?

Anyway, I get really tired of this Early To Bed story, so I went with Cousin L. and she husband to visit two friends, H & T.

Cousin L. and she husband pick me up in they Jeep instead of they car. They had to use the Jeep because, even though H. & T. living in a fancy place, the roads a leetle bad. Potholes deep like swimming pool and some o' them round like fish ponds all the way.

[Alright, alright, what is a li’l exaggeration between friends? But truly, the road indeed got plenty big cavities].

Yesterday was the day the Jeep decide it gon behave bad. It shut down every quarter mile. Cousin L. Husband had to cut holes in the floor, and we had to do like Fred Flintstone and company, stick we feet through the holes and run we feet fast fast fast to get the Jeep to start.

[Alright, alright, so is not completely true. But that is what we did contemplating doing].

Anyway, we reach H. & T. home. We only went to visit, to say hi and so on, and the next thing we know, we end up staying for dinner. One other married couple come by with they teeny, eeny baby daughter, they li’l son and the married couple husband’s mother-in-law.

Oh me Lawd. Let me tell you!

Never go to dinner with a bunch o’ Guyanese. You can’t even hear you self chomping you food in you own mouth.

Person at west end o’ the table having conversation with person wayyyy down the east end. Me at south talking to somebody across at north; same thing happening left and right. Words speed out and have traffic jam over the food, and everybody interrupting everybody.

We enjoy weself so much we stay late, even them li’l children stay awake.

Now? I so sleepy I can’t even remember me name.

Hear this thing, no. I goin’ to bed. Tomorrow I got to wake up early o’ clock to check under me pillow and bed...