Saturday, April 21, 2018

These are the relationship rules of engagement

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By Christine Chacha

Relationships are awesome and Love for another person is perhaps the most profound emotion anyone can experience. For many people, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element in their lives and who can blame them? We live in a culture that values our relationship status over who we are as human beings. Unfortunately, this extreme pressure to be part of a twosome can lead many of us into relationships that are sub-par, and in some cases, pretty unhealthy.

Love or the desire to remain in a relationship can make you blind and overlook some things that are troubling. Ladies stay woke!! If your man wants you to do any of the following things, you may find that in the long run, you’re better off single or with someone else who better appreciates you.

Change your looks: It’s natural to want your partner to think you’re attractive, but when he decides that you, a thin and skinny woman would be prettier with a curvy shaped figure then that’s not right. And your significant other should never, ever pressure you into changing your looks with surgery or cosmetic enhancement.

Go beyond comfort in the bedroom: By the time you’re an adult, you know what turns you on and what doesn’t. Ladies there are some real perverts out there so do not be pressured into some crazy things just because you don’t want him to leave you.

I have heard some women advice each other to give into perverted things with their partner or else he will go look for it somewhere else. That is madness I tell you. Do not go beyond what is comfortable or morally right to you. If he insist or forces you into something you are not into then we’re moving into abuse territory. Ladies know your limits

Cut off your friends or family: A partner who’s always finding fault with your friends or trying to distance you from your family is setting you up for an abusive and controlling relationship. If he gets angry and resentful of everything from the time you spent helping your sister plan her wedding to a night out with coworkers then he wants to separate you from the people you love and consider your support system. Jealousy and controlling is not cute but actually a warning to you.

Give up all privacy: Invading your privacy is not only annoying, it’s also a form of control, and it can quickly escalate to abuse in its worst form. He wants to know your phone password, your bank account details, your email password and any password you have. Don’t make the mistake of thinking, “it’s just because he/she loves me so much!’ It has nothing to do with love, it’s a warning that he is abusive and should you deny him access things could get physical.

“Get over it”: This is a word that shows that someone is uncaring and insensitive to your feelings.

Maybe you had a scary situation with a bodaboda driver, a minor altercation with a coworker, or concerns about his behavior but once you share it with him, he tell you to get over it.

It’s a red flag if your partner asks you to get over issues that are affecting you.

A good partner is supportive and comforting when you need him to be. If he can’t support you when you are bothered, does he really care? And FYI you are not being dramatic.

Feel bad about yourself: A good relationship should make you feel confident, loved, and supported,” It’s actually part of your partner’s job description. If your partner makes you feel insecure or ‘less than, get out! “This person may be laying the groundwork for an abusive relationship, or they may just be a moff, but regardless, you don’t need that in your life.