I'm glad when I can say that I'm starting to accomplish my New Years goals. I wanted to meet new people this year and by signing up on a few social networks for people looking for a language exchange I'm having coffee tomorrow and Friday, and the requests are still coming in!

LAWD! Well I personally would have loved to read your opinion...even if it's the direct opposite of mine. I like when you post because to me it's not dumb *** whether I agree or not. It gives another perspective for people (including myself) to ponder.

But if you don't wish to share..understood.

Originally Posted by *Marah*

No I exited because I was on my phone and couldn't fully articulate what I was thinking/feeling and I knew it wouldn't come out right (most likely it still won't but I'll give it the ole college try).

*warning....it's about to get real*

I think what strikes me most about whats fat/what's not convo is that NONE of the people mentioned are overweight or have weight issues. I mean Christina A gained weight...so what she's a size 4-6 instead of a size 0-2? Mariah Carey even at her heaviest was what maybe a size 6-8? And while lord knows I'm not a Bey fan...I'm looking at her body and trying to see the "fat thighs" that folks are talking about. The other thing that struck me as odd was that some of the most critical folks about Bey, Mariah, and Christina in the next breath were talking about they themselves were overweight (but only by a few pounds *insert side-eye here*). Ive always found it interesting that some of the most critical folks when talking about body image/weight and the like usually fall into the category of being slightly over-weight. Not big enough to be big/plus-sized but not small enough to be skinny. Its like the no mans land of body weight/size and some of the **** that comes outta these folks mouths often times makes me wonder if they are subliminally trying to take the attention off of their weight issues and place them on others.

I know that part of the package deal when you are a "celebrity" is public scrutiny of everything from clothing choice, hair, makeup, and weight. But something about the weight scrutiny has always rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe its because the scrutiny always seems to set the bar a bit extra high for celebrities higher that most regular folks could ever achieve which sets this totally unrealistic view of what a woman should look like which affects us regular folks and leads to unhealthy body image and a whole bunch of other things. Now please dont read into this something Im not saying Im not saying its the medias fault that people have negative body images, but I think the media and this image plays a huge part in it and fuels it and I think we (the consumer) continue to fuel the media and the cycle repeats itself.

As far as the words fat/overweight/plus-sized ect .I cringe at the word fat because its usually used as an insult. I know that there are some people that refer to themselves that way and its their prerogative, but me Im good on the reclamation of that one.

Now granted, Im coming from a completely different end of the spectrum than most of you so my thoughts are peppered with my own experiences. Ive struggled with my weight and weight issues my whole life, and thats not an exaggeration. It took a LOT of head work and couch time to get to a place where I accepted myself as is and stopped letting others influence how I felt about myself and the body I live in.

That's just a snap shot of what was running though my head last night. There's more but I'll stop here for now.

Originally Posted by Nappy_curly_crown

You know what? You deserve a bow for this ENTIRE post.

Originally Posted by Ninjarette

+1. After my last post in the old SIDU about how some were trying to (gross paraphrase) being fat/overweight automatically means unhealthy or side-eyeing overweight people who say they eat healthy or eat vegetables I said I was done. Then there was a post someone did a few days back that had me buggin straight up. HOWEVER I will say this treatment of overweight people is one of the few if last prejudices acceptable. * exit stage right*

what can I eat (attempt to eat) to gain weight? I need to pack on some lbs by my next appt in 4 weeks. I need to eat more than I'm throwing up I think it's hard for me to think of food to eat cause NOTHING sounds appealing but I need some fattening foods

i just remembered you guys are talking about overweight ppl hahaha so this is sort of on topic haha

my bloghttp://curlygirlie85.blogspot.com/
Its a beauty, natural hair, food, family, and life all combined into one blog. I took a break from it for awhile but I recently started blogging again and Im addicted!

I don't know, but I think she's a troubled soul - very, very attractive, but missing a few screws (like many in Hollywood). I think men are taken with her looks, and after they get up close and personal, they discover there's a raging drama queen underneath that gorgeous body.

Now, I don't get wrapped up in the lives of celebrities, so my thoughts are pure speculation. But just looking at what I've seen in the media, and what I've heard her say in interviews, there's something not quite right about her.

Originally Posted by Ninjarette

You know, I used to love Halle Berry. I used to think she was so great when I was growing up, loved her movies, everything. Then one day...when I was a senior in high school, I read this interview she did in Cosmo. And a shocking revelation came to me - this bish is crazy. Now, I can't even remember exactly what she said...but I'll carry that takeaway with me forever, lol.

what can I eat (attempt to eat) to gain weight? I need to pack on some lbs by my next appt in 4 weeks. I need to eat more than I'm throwing up I think it's hard for me to think of food to eat cause NOTHING sounds appealing but I need some fattening foods

i just remembered you guys are talking about overweight ppl hahaha so this is sort of on topic haha

I tell my patients to eat dense foods, Carbohydrates. Fill up on white rice, potatoes, breads/rolls. Also milkshakes or Ensure (however, you may not be able to tolerate the milk products w/ the nausea).
Try to eat small meals, about every 6 hrs if you can.
Sending good vibes your way, Sweetmx.

I'm sure someone will want to jump on me for this but since this is the SIIDY thread Ima just say my opinion:

Black people have been tapping their kids tail for centuries. It's worked for them for centuries. Matter of fact, there didn't seem to be so many black kids running around trying to act like they don't know any better before white people tried to insert themselves into the equation talking about, "child abuse....physical punishment is cruel...OhMyGawd....you're teaching a child to hit....call the po po and remove the child" when really, my spankings never led me to believe that it was anything but a punishment, since it was always began with the list of reasons why i was getting and how i could avoid it in the future. And avoid it i did. Sure there are some kids that are being beaten, but that was a far cry from the rare spankings I got as a kid. So I will definitely go right on along with having an ass-whooping in my little nifty child-rearing tool kit. It's very rare for me, and it was rather rare in my family because we usually followed the rules. Some of these kids do need a good old-fashioned ass-whooping. It woulda cleared them right on up and they wouldn't be acting a fool now.

Plus....we was po. Not poor. Po. The kinda po where my momma would go without food for days or a week and we were eating pots of beans, or peanut butter bread. What you gone do sit us in the bare corner with nothing to do? That wasn't punishment we learned to entertain ourselves in our head at a very young age. Take our phones, games, toys, other luxury items away from us? We didn't have those anyway so we didn't care. Ground us? We stayed in the home with family, we didn't stay on the phone talking to friends, we didn't go out with friends. We didn't want or need to have all these friends. We kept the outside friends at school and usually left them there. We were each other's closest friends.

And no I am not my child's friend. Not my job. That shouldn't be taken to mean that I am not a nurturing and loving mother, I'm just not her friend. Friendship invites people to over-step the boundaries and ignore the usual operating rules in place. Friends do it to other friends all the time.

what can I eat (attempt to eat) to gain weight? I need to pack on some lbs by my next appt in 4 weeks. I need to eat more than I'm throwing up I think it's hard for me to think of food to eat cause NOTHING sounds appealing but I need some fattening foods

i just remembered you guys are talking about overweight ppl hahaha so this is sort of on topic haha

Let's start with you TAKING THE MEDS TO STOP THE NAUSEA. I know you said it causes constipation but that's why they make stool softeners, laxatives, and enemas....real talk. Take the meds…and take a stool softener each night and you will keep the food down AND go poop. You're not doing yourself or your child any favors by trying to tough it out...especially if your doctors are concerned that you are losing weight.

Now in the mean time…do liquids stay down? If so then you can try doing some protein shakes/smoothies. I’d look for a powder mix that’s 100% pure whey protein. Also, don’t get the cheap stuff…it needs to have all 13 amino acids so that your body will absorb all of it and the cheap stuff is usually a mix of different types of proteins that are not well absorbed and only a tiny amount of whey protein. Good brands that I’ve used include: Jay Robb, Pure Protein, Unjury, Target’s Market Pantry Protein, Tera’s Whey and Isopure. If you want a ready to drink protein shake maybe try the Atkins shakes and pure protein. You can also do the Atkins protein bars or luna bars.

You can get Pure Protein (bars, ready to drink and mix), Luna bars, and Target’s in house brand at Target in the pharmacy section. All the other brands I mentioned you can get at vitamin shoppe, whole foods, or online.

Extremely thick, kinky curls/coils that have a mind of thier own!!!!
_____________________________
I like my men and my hair....KINKY!!!!
_____________________________
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Let me exit stage right while all this fat talk is going on before I say some dumb **** .......

Sent from my iPhone using CurlTalk

Originally Posted by Nappy_curly_crown

LAWD! Well I personally would have loved to read your opinion...even if it's the direct opposite of mine. I like when you post because to me it's not dumb *** whether I agree or not. It gives another perspective for people (including myself) to ponder.

But if you don't wish to share..understood.

Originally Posted by *Marah*

No I exited because I was on my phone and couldn't fully articulate what I was thinking/feeling and I knew it wouldn't come out right (most likely it still won't but I'll give it the ole college try).

*warning....it's about to get real*

I think what strikes me most about what’s fat/what's not convo is that NONE of the people mentioned are overweight or have weight issues. I mean Christina A gained weight...so what she's a size 4-6 instead of a size 0-2? Mariah Carey even at her heaviest was what maybe a size 6-8? And while lord knows I'm not a Bey fan...I'm looking at her body and trying to see the "fat thighs" that folks are talking about. The other thing that struck me as odd was that some of the most critical folks about Bey, Mariah, and Christina in the next breath were talking about they themselves were “overweight” (but only by a few pounds *insert side-eye here*). I’ve always found it interesting that some of the most critical folks when talking about body image/weight and the like usually fall into the category of being “slightly” over-weight. Not big enough to be big/plus-sized but not small enough to be “skinny”. It’s like the no man’s land of body weight/size and some of the **** that comes outta these folks mouths often times makes me wonder if they are subliminally trying to take the “attention” off of their weight issues and place them on others.

I know that part of the package deal when you are a "celebrity" is public scrutiny of everything from clothing choice, hair, makeup, and weight. But something about the weight scrutiny has always rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it’s because the scrutiny always seems to set the bar a bit extra high for celebrities…higher that most regular folks could ever achieve…which sets this totally unrealistic view of what a woman should look like…which affects us regular folks and leads to unhealthy body image and a whole bunch of other things. Now…please don’t read into this something I’m not saying…I’m not saying it’s the media’s fault that people have negative body images, but I think the media and this “image” plays a huge part in it and fuels it…and I think we (the consumer) continue to fuel the media and the cycle repeats itself.

As far as the words fat/overweight/plus-sized ect….I cringe at the word fat because it’s usually used as an insult. I know that there are some people that refer to themselves that way and it’s their prerogative, but me…I’m good on the reclamation of that one.

Now granted, I’m coming from a completely different end of the spectrum than most of you so my thoughts are peppered with my own experiences. I’ve struggled with my weight and weight issues my whole life, and that’s not an exaggeration. It took a LOT of head work and couch time to get to a place where I accepted myself as is and stopped letting others influence how I felt about myself and the body I live in.

That's just a snap shot of what was running though my head last night. There's more but I'll stop here for now.

Originally Posted by Nappy_curly_crown

I am not sure if this was directed at me, as I said I consider myself overweight ( though I don't consider 15-20lbs as a 'few pounds') but I am in no way trying to project my issue unto Christina. I want to lose weight because I would feel more comfortable, not because what other people think or what I think of other people. I have nothing to prove to people on the 4a thread about my weight, no one even knows who I am. If anything, I felt I was being honest. I could easily hide behind the screen and say I work out 5 days a week and keep myself in shape, so I have room to critique others.

I respect the fact that people's views of what is fat/overweight/plus sized is relative and according to personal opinion. I do think that celebrities get it extra hard, but that is the business they chose to be in. If you are happy with what you are, be happy. But I don't think you can be that happy if you try to wear clothes that are way too small for you. That is what I call denial.

I think that people need to keep it real and realize that for the most part, humans are VERY sedentary, especially if you are an adult and have a desk job. I try to at least walk places rather than drive in addition to working out, but that mile or half a mile I walked to the grocery store does not give me a pass to eat 2000 calories a day. Working out 3-4 times a week does not make me an "active" person - my workout is only an hour out of my day, while I sit on my butt for eight. People famously overestimate their activity and underestimate their food intake.

what can I eat (attempt to eat) to gain weight? I need to pack on some lbs by my next appt in 4 weeks. I need to eat more than I'm throwing up I think it's hard for me to think of food to eat cause NOTHING sounds appealing but I need some fattening foods

i just remembered you guys are talking about overweight ppl hahaha so this is sort of on topic haha

I'm sure someone will want to jump on me for this but since this is the SIIDY thread Ima just say my opinion:

Black people have been tapping their kids tail for centuries. It's worked for them for centuries. Matter of fact, there didn't seem to be so many black kids running around trying to act like they don't know any better before white people tried to insert themselves into the equation talking about, "child abuse....physical punishment is cruel...OhMyGawd....you're teaching a child to hit....call the po po and remove the child" when really, my spankings never led me to believe that it was anything but a punishment, since it was always began with the list of reasons why i was getting and how i could avoid it in the future. And avoid it i did. Sure there are some kids that are being beaten, but that was a far cry from the rare spankings I got as a kid. So I will definitely go right on along with having an ass-whooping in my little nifty child-rearing tool kit. It's very rare for me, and it was rather rare in my family because we usually followed the rules. Some of these kids do need a good old-fashioned ass-whooping. It woulda cleared them right on up and they wouldn't be acting a fool now.

Plus....we was po. Not poor. Po. The kinda po where my momma would go without food for days or a week and we were eating pots of beans, or peanut butter bread. What you gone do sit us in the bare corner with nothing to do? That wasn't punishment we learned to entertain ourselves in our head at a very young age. Take our phones, games, toys, other luxury items away from us? We didn't have those anyway so we didn't care. Ground us? We stayed in the home with family, we didn't stay on the phone talking to friends, we didn't go out with friends. We didn't want or need to have all these friends. We kept the outside friends at school and usually left them there. We were each other's closest friends.

And no I am not my child's friend. Not my job. That shouldn't be taken to mean that I am not a nurturing and loving mother, I'm just not her friend. Friendship invites people to over-step the boundaries and ignore the usual operating rules in place. Friends do it to other friends all the time.

Originally Posted by demsdata

I believe in spankings too. Not abuse, not beating the mess out of a child. A good pop in the mouth always knocked the sass out of me in the quickness.

I don't do disrespect, and no my child is not going to tell me to stay the hell of their room. Doesn't matter how "tired" I am, not happening. Unless that child pays the rent/mortgage, they don't own a room.

These kids now will talk to adults any type of way without blinking. I've been around teenagers who cussed and said more vulgar things than I have said in my lifetime. I know every generation says the next generation is horrible, but we had our boundaries. I never ever in a million years think to yell out "b*tch eat my ***** at the top of my lungs in front of adults. NEVER. This another reason why I don't have kids, because I would be the most old fashioned parent and my children would hate me with all their might lol.

Going to a baby shower tomorrow for a big LSU fan so decided to crochet baby and mama hats. not quite done so I will be up late cooking and working on it. Anybody looking for new patterns definitely check out YT. Those patterns in books confuse me. I have to see someone do it.

I know I'm late to the party about the fat/overweight issue, but here's my take:

Yes, Xtina has gained a few pounds. A lot of people wouldn't care, but in the entertainment business, the extra pounds can be a liability. I agree that she would look more flattering if she found clothes that actually fit her and that she's in denial.

As far as the terms "fat" vs. "overweight" are concerned, I never really felt any kind of way about the term "fat." Just like I've never really felt any kind of way about the terms "overweight," "thick," "curvy" or any other synonym for the word "fat." It never had any negative connotation for me. I can see how people feel that it does, because our society views people with extra weight with disdain and the term "fat" is often used in a derisive manner, but to me, it was merely an adjective, like the words tall and plain, with no feelings attributed to it. No more, no less. And I've struggled with my weight in the past. Right now, I'm supposedly at the maximum weight I'm supposed to be at for my height, but I detest using the BMI measurement as it's grossly inadequate for a lot of people. I do work out 3-5 days a week. I measure health by how I feel after doing certain common activities. For instance, I don't get winded from walking up a flight of stairs or running to catch a bus. I can bend down to tie my shoelaces, which a number of overweight people can't do. Those things are more indicative of how healthy you are than some arbitrary number on a scale.

1. Children are not pets. They are people.
2. People who deserve respect don't have to demand it.
3. Assault is assault. Battery is battery. Equal protection is overlooked because children don't vote. That is a FACT.
4. Racism will never die as long as certain people take pride in being stereotypes.
5. If black people spent as much time encouraging and motivating their children to be great as they do "putting them in their place" their would be more Barack Obamas and fewer black men in prison.
6. Using aggression to assert dominance is animal behaviour. White supremisists/slave owners viewed black people as...animals. you can't destroy a stereotype by perpetuating it.
7. The primary purpose of parents is to prepare children for adulthood by leading by example. How are you gonna teach anybody how to be a responsible, respectable, mature adult if you aren't one yourself?
8. Your parents are not gods. It ain't right because they did it. It ain't true because they said it. They are regular ole people and **** up like eveybody else.