Giving vs Taking (in Social Interactions) with John Cooper

See the Bottom of this Article For Featured Video!

You might have heard of Social Heartistry – an ideology started by ex-pick up artist – John Cooper. One of the key tenets of SH philosophy is giving. In this video you will see John’s “take” on the idea of “giving.

John Cooper visually demonstrates these two dynamics in his out-there video (see bottom of article). What follows are the key takeaways of John’s philosophy, as outlined in the featured video. Enjoy!

Key Takeaways

– TAKING –

If you’re coming from this paradigm, you will always feel incomplete. That will manifest in your actions on the level of micro-expressions as creepiness.

People will pick up on your vibes and will act with an automatic habitual reaction to deny your advances.

This then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You get rejected because your visceral intention was to take. This leads you to then you retract further into your head. You then feel even worse about yourself. This then magnifies the need to take even further, to a point where you are a walking black hole trying to leech people’s reactions.

If you come from that place, you will feel like you will have to trick and manipulate girls into talking/sleeping with you. That creates an extreme amounts of high pressure that you put on yourself.

Even though our biological system was created to be social, we have certain inhibitions that are stopping us from doing something harmful to others. In order to take, you have to devise techniques to overcome that biological inhibition.

That will cause you to acquire more and more technical knowledge to override that blockage. The inner battle will manifest on the outside as incongruence, weirdness and approach anxiety.

– GIVING –

just by showing up you believe that you make someone’s day better and put a smile on their face. You’re feeling like you’re enough and complete as you are, so when someone “rejects you” your sense of value doesn’t fluctuate.

You’re a high value person so if someone doesn’t respond favorably to you its their loss. You get to keep this value for yourself, or offer it to someone else.

If you feel happy in your life, if you’re abundant in good emotions and you don’t need anything external to feel good, you won’t need any particular reaction from anyone, good reactions become irrelevant.

You know who you are and won’t give a power to a stranger to dictate how you feel about yourself.

You can’t lose because if your gift is not accepted you still hold the value, focusing on your own actions, not looking for reaction, in that paradigm rejection doesn’t exist.

Being a man of value, means being a man on your path, having vision and taking action on it. If you do that, nothing will be able to shake you, because you create your emotions from within, not trying to get them from the outside.

Your autonomy is something that is within your control. This is something that no girl is able to take away from you. Outside world is in constant flux. One moment people love you, the other moment they hate you. You can learn to be ok with both of those scenarios.

By being aware, and with time, you will be the source of your own good emotions. No girl can take that away from you!

In order to not go out into the world and try to leech value from other people, we need to recognize our intrinsic value and know that we have a lot to offer to others.

This will fully eliminate any sort of neediness (cause we don’t need anything). You have value just by being.

Artur Kot is the CEO of Menprovement. He's been interested in the areas of self-development, dating and success for the last 3 years ever since his last girlfriend broke up with him leaving him sad and butt hurt. He's now traveling the world and is on a mission to inspire as many people as he can on the way.

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