9/24/2012

Two of Cups

Story Sent in by Steven:

Ann and I were at her place on a second date, and things were steamy. Most of our clothes were off by the time we made it to the bedroom, and what little else she wore, I had planned to shortly remove.

She put a hand on my chest and said, "Want some water?"

I was surprised that she'd interrupt things with that request, but I realized that it was probably a good idea, so I said, "Sure."

She left the bedroom and returned shortly thereafter with two cups of water. She set them on the nightstand and said, "Be right back," and then disappeared into her bathroom.

For all purposes, it had been a great date up to that point, and there should've been nothing at all to complain about.

When she came back into the room, though, she gave me a smile, drank down some of her water, then spat it out all over the place.

"What the–" she choked, then spat out again, onto the floor. "What did you do?"

"To your water? Nothing."

"It tastes like gasoline! Here!" She shoved the cup into my face, spilling it over my chin, neck, and chest.

It smelled fine to me, and I took the cup. "It smells... fine."

"Drink it!"

I took a sip. It tasted like water should, and I told her so. She picked up the second cup and drank it, then spat it out, again, all over her floor. "Ack!" she coughed, then slammed the cup onto the nightstand and ran for the bathroom, banging the door shut.

I drank from the second cup, and it also tasted like water. It smelled fine. I wasn't sure what her problem was, but I thought it would be smart to check on her. I knocked on her bathroom door and called for her, but there was no response. However, I did hear the shower turn on. Well, this had become a bit awkward. I opted to wait for her until she came out.

Around a half-hour later, she emerged from the bathroom in a towel. I asked, "Feeling better?"

She nodded, then came over to the nightstand, picked up a cup of water, and drank it. "Uck!" she choked again, then made a gurgling sound, then ran for the bathroom one more time, closing the door behind her. I couldn't believe it, but sure enough, through the door, I heard her puking.

Guessing that the date was probably over, I dressed and called for her, through the door. "Ann, are you okay? Ann?"

No answer. Again, just to be sure, I returned to the cups of water, sipped at them both, and came to the conclusion that if there was anything wrong with the situation, it wasn't the water in the cups.

I heard Ann yell through the door, "I'll be all right. I'm sorry. You should just go."

"Are you sure?"

More puking. "Yes. Go."

"Can I get you anything?"

"Get out! Go!"

I did as she asked and never heard from her again. I wasn't really expecting to, I guess.

Indeed - it's been said here before but it was a while back. By way of a reminder, I'll say it again: often in these cases, there is something that the OP has missed about themselves or their date, which leads them to believe that "everything was fine, there were no complaints." Sure, some of it can be attributed to pure stupidity, but that's not always the case. A lot of people out there are in a surprising amount of self-delusion and denial.

His breath didn't stink...he said things were steamy one would assume that includes making out...she wasn't pregnant that's ridiculous...she...saw...your...penis. She left the room after blurting out the first thing to pop into her head so as not to hurt your feelings...the whole water tasting ritual was so you would leave and not think anything bad about yourself you would just think she's crazy...so then you go home and post this story about this weird chick you once almost banged only to have a total stranger on the internet tell you what she was to kind and polite to say to your face...that girl did not have sex with you because you have a small penis...end scene

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