No Sleep Til Brooklyn: An Epic Road Trip With The Brooklyn Nets

One of the most compelling stories in the NBA this season is the Brooklyn Nets. The franchise went all hip, moving from Jersey to Brooklyn; swung and missed on a deal for Dwight Howard; instead traded for one of the highest-paid players in the NBA; opened a new arena; commemorated the end of 2012 by firing their coach, Avery Johnson. New York-based writer Jake Appleman is spending this season shadowing the Nets, working on a book about their inaugural season in the borough. Jake will be checking in with the Nets throughout the season on GQ.com.

The Brooklyn Nets finished off a franchise record-tying eight straight road games with a blowout win on Wednesday night in Cleveland. The Nets’ circus trip--so named because Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey occupied Barclays Center back in Brooklyn from March 20-April 1--began in suburban Michigan on Monday March 18th. While in Michigan, I learned that there is not only an 8 Mile road, but also a 7 Mile road and a 9 Mile road, among other Mile roads.

The Nets beat the Detroit Pistons that night and then took on the Dallas Mavericks, Los Angeles Clippers, Phoenix Suns, Portland Trail Blazers, Denver Nuggets and Utah Jazz in a 12-day span, before returning home to rest for a few days prior to another road game in Cleveland. Between the Jazz and Cavaliers games, I flew from Salt Lake City to Chicago, both extending my trip and doing my best travel imitation of the ’98 NBA Finals.

Following the pattern of their season, the Nets did well on the road and beat the teams they were supposed to beat, winning all of the games against sub-.500 teams. With a victory in Cleveland, they clinched the franchise’s first winning record on the road for a season, and a winning record (5-3) for the overall trip. The Nets book-ended the eight games away from Barclays Center with losses against their two likeliest first-round playoff opponents, the Hawks and Bulls.

I don’t know how many miles were flown, how many restaurants I ate at, or how many times a Starbucks Very Berry Coffee Cake made me smile in an airport because Starbucks’ Very Berry Coffee Cake is one of the rare, unilaterally positive globalizing forces we have in this world; I just know that this is an incomplete, categorized recap of the longest journey in the Brooklyn Nets’ first season, and my experiences throughout. No sleep ’til Brooklyn, indeed.

Best Performances (Nets)

1a) Reggie Evans set a career high with 26 rebounds and tied a career high with 22 points in Portland. After the win, Evans explained that an anonymous teammate motivated him by complaining to Nets interim Coach PJ Carlesimo that Evans should be benched.

1b) MarShon Brooks recorded career highs of 27 points and 7 assists on Wednesday in Cleveland.

1c) Brook Lopez and Deron Williams in Dallas. Lopez, as he had a year before, lit up the Mavericks for 38 points and Williams was unconscious down the stretch. The win set the tone for the trip.

Best Performances (Non-Nets)

The Nuggets had the best team performance against the Nets, improving to 33-3 at home in a rout that was basically over in the second quarter. In the Nets’ other two losses, they were done in by guards who took over for a quarter. Randy Foye’s five third-quarter 3-pointers and Chris Paul’s 17 fourth-quarter points, in Utah and Los Angeles respectively, were too much to overcome.

Best interview

Evans, opining about all sorts of things at a morning shootaround in Denver.

"I’m ready to go home," he said. "Ain’t no secret about that, but I ain’t going to look past my opponent. We’ve been in the league too long to be talkin’ about, ’Oh, we gonna look past our opponent.’ We was ready to go home. I was ready to go home. I’m missing my kids. I’m ready to see my kids. Tomorrow comes, I’m going to be missing my kids. If we were playing the Detroit Pistons, I’d be missing my kids. From day one I’ve been missing my kids; ready to go home, but I’m not going to disrespect my opponents--know what I’m sayin’?"

Other quote worthy moments:

"I’m pretty much the jokester. I mess with everybody every day."--Nets swingman Keith Bogans

"When you’re feeling good and you can’t miss, that’s a good feeling."--Williams, inadvertently channeling Yogi Berra after getting hot against the Mavericks

"I was going to make sure I missed. Nah, just kidding."--Brooks on making his first ten shots against Cleveland

"Typical of my teammates: ’Oh you’ve got this many’...’You’ve got this many’...’you’ve got this many’...’You’ve got this many’." - Evans, describing how it was impossible for him not to be aware of how many rebounds he was grabbing during his career night in Portland

Best aspect of the trip

Multiple days off in both Los Angeles and Phoenix. Whether strolling down Abbot Kinney in Venice Beach or listening to dual-citizen Canadians talk about hockey around an outdoor Arizona pool, great weather consistently enhanced the good vibes.

Worst aspect of the trip

High altitude near the end. When finishing up 7 games--or covering 7 games--in 13 days, the altitude change made life a little bit more difficult than it had to be, for both scribes and team. One minute you’re thinking you can’t feel the altitude change, the next minute you’re trying to grasp why you’re angry for no apparent reason. Starting the trip at altitude and returning to sea level might have been nicer.

Best meal

Without much planning I ended up at dinner party in L.A. put together by a friend of my cousin’s, an Argentinean chef. (Note: never turn down food when the words ’Argentinean’ and ’chef’ are used in the same sentence.)

Strangest dining experience

Howard Beck recommended that I eat at Jake’s Crawfish in Portland. Sitting at the bar, the bartender mentioned--not knowing that I was following the team on its circus road trip--that some of the Nets were either eating there or slated to eat dinner there. Lo and behold, Nets interim Coach P.J. Carlesimo walked in. Then Assistant Coach Popeye Jones walked in to join him. Under the influence of fried crawfish, this felt really odd, although not altogether surprising given how small of a city Portland is.

Strangest in-arena presentation

Denver. South Park’s Eric Cartman appears on the jumbotron and urges fans on in a "Let’s Go Nuggets!" chant. The public address also announcer ignores the common courtesy of saying players’ first names when they score; "basket Blatche" for Andray Blatche buckets sounded like some sort bastardized version of the words "cabbage patch."

Most surreal moment

Lamar Odom and Kris Humphries taking part in the Kardashian brothers-in-law jump ball when the Nets faced the Clippers. Initially, Blake Griffin was supposed to jump, but ever a man of the moment, Humphries pointed to his reality TV in-law. Not surprisingly, everyone in Staples Center felt the meaningless magnetism and Nets play-by-play man Chris Carrino captured the moment perfectly before it even happened, calling a potential Humphries-Odom jump ball, "a picture that might have broken the internet."

Best Halftime Concert

En Vogue, on the first night of the trip in Detroit. Don’t let go. Never let go. But if you have to let go, make sure to listen to Jerry Stackhouse wax poetic about En Vogue before you do.

Most consistent running gag

When asked about anything related to his improved health, following cortisone shots and PRP injections in both ankles as well as an All-Star break juice cleanse, Deron Williams has told reporters--no matter who, what, where or when--some variation of the following statement: "I really appreciate your concern for my health, man. I really do." Having heard it so many times that it’s beginning to need a remix, I’m considering adopting a variation for questions about my upcoming book on the Nets’ first season in Brooklyn: "I really appreciate your concern for the narrative, man. I really do."

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