And the winner is… Iowa City Police Department! College kids won’t answer the door! Iowa City where you at!?! Come on down!

Holy shit this is sad. So essentially these kids who are throwing parties aren’t answering the door when the cops show up because they don’t legally have to, and this makes the police angry, because it makes it more difficult for them to be hard ons. Boy it sure is tough being an Iowa City police officer.

“We need to solve the problem in the neighborhood — this is the community’s concern,” Iowa City police Sgt. Denise Brotherton said. “If they [students] don’t answer the door or are told to, then there’s nothing we can do about it.”

And then the college kids keep drinking!?! OH NO!

The problem according to city officials is students not opening the door when cops come knocking responding to noise complaints, and police can’t enter without permission unless they have a search warrant, which could take a couple hours to get.

Hours to get a warrant? But…but by then the party might be over and there won’t be anyone to give MIPs to. Then they’ll have to go and find a real crime. If only there were some penalty to punish these uncooperative nuisances. Perhaps if there were, the police would be able to hand out citations for the noise complaints and what not.

Currently, refusing to open the door for police is a criminal citation, and only the people present at the party would be charged.

Oh, there is a punishment. Well I assume then that if no one answers the door and the party dies down before the police can get a warrant approved then this punishment is fitting for any residents present who ignored the police, wouldn’t you think?

Plus the Iowa City Police department handed out 244 disorderly house citations last year, and 273 the year before. It’s not exactly like they aren’t getting the job done. So considering the current law, and the amount of citations police are handing out, everything is fine, right?

Nah, fuck it! Let’s just make up a new law so the police can write more tickets and give the city extra revenue.

Under the proposed ordinance, if cops responded to a reported rowdy house party and no one answers the door, they’d be able to tell the city’s housing inspectors it’s a “disorderly house” and all tenants could be penalized. Meaning if your roommate has a party when you’re not home and they don’t answer the door when cops try to bust it, you could be held equally responsible.

…

The first offense in a civil infraction would carry a $750 fine, and subsequent offenses bring a $1,000 fine…

That sounds…fair…

…Greg Bal, supervising attorney for the University of Iowa Student Legal Services, believes this type of punishment being issued to people who aren’t present at the party would violate someone’s right to due process.

ICPD: Hey! Kid throwing the noisy party who won’t answer the door because he doesn’t legally have to! Fuck you and your due process, bitch! We’re getting city council to change the laws, so guess what? You? Boom! You’re fined! Your roommates? Boom! Fined! Who’s laughing now?

Us, we’re laughing, at you Iowa City Police, for being whiny and incompetent.

Here’s your solution: Repeal the fucking 21 ordinance already so that everyone will be at the bars and then you can give out drinking tickets freely without problems. Its amazing how the ICPD creates laws and then starts whining when they don’t work and students find other ways to drink. We aren’t the second biggest party school in the nation for nothing.