So I was thinking about creating this article to share some of the mistakes that I see guys do all the time when approaching women.

It’s those things that make women lean back and ignore the guy, or flat out reject him.

Sometimes just knowing what not to do can help you immensely, even more than knowing what to do. So I want to share with you 4 of the most common mistakes guys do when approaching women - and how to avoid them. ​

Mistake #1: Having An INSECURE Body Language

When I say being insecure, I mean being insecure through your body language and voice tone.

More specifically, I see guys approach a girl with that “I’m sorry I exist”body language, sounding quiet like they’re in trouble for getting an F in school.

They slouch their shoulders, stick a nervous smile on their face, put their hands in their pockets and say:

Of course I’m over exaggerating here, but I’m not far from the truth. I see guys do this all the time in bars, clubs and even on the street.

PLEASE, for the love of GOD - when you approach a woman, fix your body language.

> Stand ERECT.

> Push your chest up - even if you feel uncomfortable with it.

> Get your hands out of your pocket, and put them next to your body.

> SPEAK UP. Don’t mumble or fumble. State your intent right there and then.

> Say out loud “HEY, I saw you from over there and thought you look cute, so I wanted to say Hi. What’s up?”

And then smile and look at them.

Mistake #2: Being TOO CREATIVE With Their “Lines”

The next thing I see guys do is they give a lot of thought into what they should say to a girl to go and talk to her.

They think of all the clever, creative ways of saying something unique. Something that no other guy ever thought of.

Well, I have a unique idea for you:

Your desire to be unique, is your most un-unique idea ever.

Because here’s what - EVERY guy tries to be unique.

Every guy wants to say something *special* and by doing that, ends up soundinglike every other guy.

But here’s whats actually unique - a guy who is open and authentic about his intentionsfrom the get go and acts NORMAL.

Do you understand how RARE it is for a guy to approach a girl and not be weird?

Are you aware how rare it is for a girl to experience a guy to walk up to her, and in a confident (normal) way say,

“Hey, yes you. Stop for a second. You know I saw you from over there, and thought you look really cute, so I wanted to walk over here and say Hi. What’s up?”

Most guys think they need to have some creative line like, “I had a dream about you yesterday” or “your eyes are like an ocean”.

When you think of going creative or confident and simple - always go confident and simple.

The simpler, the better. Just state it out loud. Raise your voice and make your body presence felt. You’ll go a long way.

#3 Not Having An EXIT PLAN

The final mistake I see guys do is they walk into an approach, without an approximate idea of how they’re going to end the interaction.

Two things are going to cause anxiety - not knowing what you'll say, and not knowing how you’ll end the conversation.

So they’ll start a conversation, and then kind of linger in it.

“Hey how’s it going? Aha, that’s nice… soo, what’s your sign, heh.”

You want to design an universal exit line you can use at all times. And when you know exactly how you’ll end the conversation, you’ll feel more relaxed, and most importantly - like you have the control.

So here’s a universal line you can use to end the conversation:

When you notice the conversation dying down, you say this:

“Ok, well I gotta go. But it was really nice meeting you. Have a great day. Bye bye.”

And you walk away.

When you know exactly how to end the interaction without running away like a hurt loser, you’ll feel in power.

And when you feel in power, you’ll look more confident.

#4: Being OUTCOME ORIENTED instead PROCESS ORIENTED

This one is a biggie. When most guys approach a girl, they focus on getting a girl’s number, or a date, or even a kiss close.

But very few focus on the process itself.

Here’s a question: What’s the purpose of approaching a girl?

> To get laid?

> To get her number?

> To ask her out?

All those things are not the purpose, they are the CONSEQUENCE of the approach.

Like when you go to work - your point is to make money, but you don’t go to work and say, “give me money.”

But you go to work and you say, “What can I DO so I receive money in return?”

And when you go to work every day, you focus on DOING what you need to do, and you don’t think about the money - because money will be there if you just DO.

Make sense?

So it’s the same in the approach.

If you focus on the outcome, you LOSE.

But if you focus on the process, you’ll WIN.

The purpose of the approach is this:

1. FOR HER TO GET TO KNOW YOU2. FOR YOU TO GET TO KNOW HER

Period.

When you say “Hi”, your purpose should be to introduce yourself so she can get to know more about you.

And later to find out more about her.

1. So what is she doing here? Why is she on the street? Where is she headed?

2. Why is she in the bar? Tired from work? Had a long week?

3. What’s her thing? Does she work or goes to school? What made her study/work in that field?

4. Does she have a hobby? What made her take up that hobby?

5. Is she the creative type? Or is she very structured and logical?

Focus on the PROCESS, not on the outcome.

And naturally, the outcome will happen - because when the moment comes, it’ll feel natural to ask for her number or ask her out.

Now I want to hear from you - can you recognise yourself in doing any of these things? Do you have a story to share with me about it?

Let me know in the comments or send me a pm - I answer every one of them.

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Hey I'm Omir, the guy behind VC, the author of The Natural's Way book, and here to help you liberate yourself from your fears, limitations and insecurities, so you can become amazingly confident with women.