Facilitator Heidi Tornow begins her seminar by listing the myths and facts about childhood sexual abuse.

The first myth is that abuse of children is rare. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (2005), almost one million women and more than 300,000 men are abused before the age of 15.

The next myth is that perpetrators are usually strangers. Ms Tornow says about 85 per cent of abused children know the offender and the majority are relatives or close family friends.

"Which means the perpetrator is somewhere close to the home, which means for the child there is no safe place at all and nowhere they can turn to. It doesn't necessarily need to be incestuous, like through the father, although that happens a lot, but the perpetrators come from all walks of life and all areas. It can be sibling abuse that takes place or it can be through step-parents."

Another common misconception is that abusers only have one victim. Ms Tornow says paedophiles often move from one child to another.

"We have learned and what research has also shown is that they have a myriad of victims over the time that they are perpetrating and that can be 20, 30 years. It's important to recognise that just because one person has been abused, there might be another whole line of people who have been abused by that person as well."

Parents must also abandon stereotypical images of paedophiles hiding in bushes near schoolyards and parks.

Perpetrators come from all social, cultural, ethnic and economic backgrounds. The only thing most have in common is that they are men. More than 95 per cent of reported paedophiles are male.

Ms Tornow says they are often respected members of their communities.

"There is an image in society as to what the dirty old man looks like who might abuse my child and what we're trying to put across is that perpetrators come from all walks of life. They can be teenagers, they can be adults, they can be old people. They haven't got perpetrator written on their forehead unfortunately, so we don't know. And it is important to open your mind to that that you don't go along and say, oh well he doesn't look dirty and grotty and he's not smelling of alcohol therefore he is OK to be with my child, unfortunately that is not the case."

Once the myths surrounding child sexual abuse are exposed, the tactics used by perpetrators are explored.

The first usual step is for the offender to establish trust with as many people surrounding the child as possible.

Ms Tornow says paedophiles could spend an hour, or even years, working on building that trust.

"It's gaining the trust of the environment of the child first up, make everyone else around that child believe that I'm a trustworthy person. You can trust me with the care of your child.

It's something parents want for their children too. They will somehow work their way into the family and that happens in a lot of different ways. That would be the first step."

Ms Tornow says the second step often involves introducing privileges. This could include giving the child presents or singling them out in a crowd.

"It works on two different levels. On one level he will make the child he is targeting feel special and create that special relationship that he can single that child out and also get it away from the family."

One of the next moves of perpetrators is introducing touch. Ms Tornow says it can begin as what looks 'normal' to outsiders before it turns sinister.

"And then he will take the next step, he will introduce touch and usually, initially that is also innocent, tickling and playing games and taking the kids into the water and throwing them in the air and whatnot so the kids get used to having that physical contact and so that everyone else gets used to that 'oh they're having a great time and that's why they're squealing and making a lot of noise.'"

Next, a perpetrator will often create a sense of doubt and mistrust between a child and parent.

"Parallel to that he will create a wedge between the child and the carers. His most important gain is to be able for the child to keep the secret. That the child will not tell what happened. He will put in place whatever he needs so that the child will not talk about it.

"Once all that is in place he will put that little seed of doubt into the mind of the main carer that that child is not always telling the truth and that can happen in many different ways. Initially the mum or grandmother might say 'he doesn't lie' or ' he would never tell fibs' then he will set that child up so it is proven 'oh that child lied here.' That doubt starts happening in the carer's mind and they think when she then comes and says 'he's been touching me in a way I don't want to be touched' and he says 'well remember she was telling lies about that one too.'"

Finally, perpetrators will think about how they can offend again.

Ms Tornow says threats are a common tool.

"Once the scene is set up, once the abuse happens, the perpetrator will also put things in place so that he can continue to abuse that child. It's not a one-off, it will happen again and again. So he has to make sure that the child is under his control and that usually happens through threats and these threats are often very specific. He will by then know the child very well and will know where it hurts. I've heard a whole range of it. 'If you tell anyone I'm going to jail and then you won't have any food and you will lose your home and whatnot. Or they'll say 'nobody will believe you anyway.' They threaten with 'I'm going to kill your dog' or very often 'if you tell then I'm going to go to your sister.'"

There are no ways parents can be 100 per cent sure their children will not be abused.

However, Ms Tornow says awareness is crucial.

"We need to be vigilant. We need to walk around with our eyes wide open. We need to know that they are there that abuse is happening right now as we are speaking and to take it away from that hiding, from that grey area where it's not talked about, where nothing is being done about it."

Above all, Ms Tornow says children need to know they can tell their carers anything without fear and knowing that they will be believed.

"For as long as the open communication is there between the adult and the child it will be so much harder for him to achieve that. So it's really important that the child knows that no matter what the child is by his or her side and they can always turn to them. I think that is the best insurance we can give our children. So that the moment something feels uncomfortable, something feels wrong or something is not right, that that is being listened to when that child comes to us with that and we then investigate."