Who do you argue with? The Practice: Don’t quarrel. Why? It’s one thing to stick up for yourself and others. But it’s a different matter to get caught up in wrangles, contentiousness, squabbles . . . in a word: quarrels. Similarly, it’s one thing to disagree with someone, even to the point of arguing – […] [Read more…]

Do you believe in love? The Practice: Trust in love. Why? Take a breath right now, and notice how abundant the air is, full of life-giving oxygen offered freely by trees and other green growing things. You can’t see air, but it’s always ava… [Read more…]

What do you think about whn you first wake up? The Practice: Lean into good on first waking. Why? Waking up is like the sun rising. At first it’s mostly dark, as glimmers of consciousness begin to light the shadows. Emerging into full wakefulness… [Read more…]

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, what’re the deepest wants of all? The Practice: See deep wants. Why? I did my Ph.D. dissertation by videotaping 20 mother-toddler pairs and analyzing what happened when the mom offered an alternative to a problematic … [Read more…]

What do others want? The Practice: See good intentions. Why? Hustling through an airport, I stopped to buy some water. At the shop’s refrigerator, a man was bent over, loading bottles into it. I reached past him and pulled out one he’d put … [Read more…]

Are some things getting better? The Practice: See progress. Why? There are always things that are getting worse. For example, over the past year, you probably know someone who has become unemployed or ill or both, and there’s more carbon in the a… [Read more…]

Could it crack? The Practice: Embrace fragility. Why? The truth of anything is like a mosaic with many tiles, many parts. One part of the truth of things is that they are robust and enduring, whether it’s El Capitan in Yosemite or the love of a child for her mother and father. Another part of […] [Read more…]

What are you saying? The Practice: Speak wisely. Why? “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Ah, not really. Often it’s words – and the tone that comes with them – that actually do the most damage. Just think back on some of the things that have been said […] [Read more…]

Can you be with the whole of your psyche? The Practice: Let it R.A.I.N. Why? When you’re young, the territory of the psyche is like a vast estate, with rolling hills, forests and plains, swamps and meadows. So many things can be experienced, expressed, wanted, and loved. But as life goes along, most people pull […] [Read more…]