how to hold my load

hello so ive been with my girl for about 2 months now and we see eachother all the time and are really close. we have been fooling around for a few weeks now, i fingered her a couple times, she gave me a few handjobs, and this last weekend i gave her an oral orgasm and i think she loved it lol.. we are both virgins, but what i am concerned with is that when i was with her the other night i spent the night and we kissed and fooled around all night, and i was turned on for like 10+ hours im sure, but rarely did she just go and grab my penis or anything, we dry hump alot and she grinds on it alot when we are in bed, but it wasnt until that next morning when she finally reached down my boxers and started playing with it then all of a suddent i busted my load way too quickly, like prolly 45 seconds into sadly, but i know thats just cuz ive been turned on for like 10 hours cuz i spent the night there, but idk, it kind of sucked to be honest, cuz i wanted her to go down on me that night also, so i was just like umm i gotta go to the bathroom then i went back to my dorm room, which is close, then changed my boxers and came back like as if i didnt cum at all lol, but im pretty sure she realized it. and it was like already noon at this point and we had to begin to get on with our days so i wasnt gonna try to get another attempt at it

so my question is... how do i fix this problem?? realistically the best way would to ask her to blow me right before we get into foreplay and whatnot lol, but come on thats not like me to be soo selfish. like eventually we will be having sex and im just sort of affraid our foreplay will be hours and hours long like it is these days, but as soon as i go to put my penis in her i will bust my load soo quickly, which im sure will happen the first time anyways cuz we are virgins but oh well...

what are your techniques for holding off ur load, even if u have been turned on for numerous hours before getting direct stimulation??

one question i have about that is, when ur having sex and about to cum.. u just flex the muscle and you will be able to hold off ur orgasm??

sorta, if you exercise it it becomes stronger (in the long run, so that when you flex it, you can hold off your orgasm) and simultaneously tires it (in the short run, making it harder to cum). When you're making out/fooling around/going down on your girl, start flexing it in 10 counts or so and you'll notice a difference. Even more if you do it other times....waiting at a red light, sitting in class, whenever...

I have found sometimes while practising once while jerking off, that I can hold it in if I flex hard enough, but I still feel like I am orgasming. Unfortunately, it's just like I blew my load anyway but stopped it from coming out... So I still get soft soon afterwards and take a while to be able to get hard again...