WHO DO YOU CALL PRETTY?

There was this quote on Instagram last week “When women wear make up they’re basically lying to us” (men) “I don’t see why I’m being blamed for a man stupid enough to think I have gold eyelids”. For me blush was in the same category as gold eyelids- obvious, visible and most of all-scary.

I mean, think of it. You get dressed for work in the dark (literally), slap on some make up and you out of the door, Starbucks-ing on the way so you can half open your eyelids when you get to the office. Why, oh why not a soul told me I look like a Russian matrioshka- you wail when you catch your reflection in the mirror.

I’ve read mainly conflicting advice in the glossies. Blush on the apples of your cheeks, not on the apples because it will slide half way down your ace, pink, not too pink though, maybe peach, contour with taupe blush (I’ve never heard of taupe blush until I read this one)…so the easiest thing was to skip it all together.

But having seen latest Ralph Lauren ads (Have you seen the sucker? Yeah, she blogs at Champagne Girls) I wanted to recreate an uptown girl look, glossy hair, perfect skin and that hardly visible flush of pink on my face. I’ll spare you “outdoorsy” and “youthful”- the usual comparisons wheeled out every time someone mentions blush. “Barely there” is another one with a long beard but at least this one is the closest to what I’m trying to achieve, which is my skin but better. I’m thinking cream and golden brown (no shimmer though) on the eyes, dusky rose on my lips and warm peach on my cheekbones (Orgasm by Nars sounds particularly enticing).

All I need now are cream pants (sophistication overload) and that cool, men like fedora. Enter my two facilitators- my wonder of a tailor, Jadzia Doroba and Penmayne of London…