Monday, August 15, 2005

Name the blogpost yourself

If I ever I have a kid I don't think I'll name it Daryl. The name doesn't end. The "l" just rolls on into infinitium. Daryl isn't a disgusting name. It's just not for me or my off spring. It's not like the name Gary. Vleck! Gary. yuck! I should just stop typing it because every time I type the name I hear it in my head. I apologize for possible offense to any of my friends who were given this name. If you're not my friend, well, I don't have any emotional responsiblity to you, and therefore no apology.

Come to think of it I don't have any friends named, Gary. O.K. I did when I was in Portland, but we haven't really kept in touch or in touch at all, actually, since I've moved back East. I guess we weren't that tight. How tight could I be with a person with that name anyway? I wasn't much of a friend to him. Behind his back I'd refer to him as Creepy Gary. He has a bushy 1970s mustache and at age 45 would hit on 20 year old girls. The girls would get all creeped out and flee my parties. Which I guess was fine because I don't remember ever inviting 19 and 20 year old girls to my parties. Probably pissed my roommates off, though. Perhaps, if his parents hadn't ridiculously named him, he could avoided the whole creepiness thing. Who knows how one's name influences a person's personality or facial hair. My name is Rachael and like most Rachaels or Rachels I'm a brunette--crazy, huh?

I can't believe I ever had a behind the back nickname for Creepy Gary. I usually reserve those for boys I date. And though my taste in boys has been questionable over the years I'd never date a dude with an awful 1970s mustache never mind named Gary. I have however dated: "the rebound jew," "the old man, (funny, several boys could have qualified for this nickname but only one got dubbed)," "the fat, swedish fuck," "bike boy" "the bunny" "8th floor Mike" and "my rockstar boyfriend who is neither a rock star nor my boyfriend (yes, I did actually name someone this, the name was longer than our romance.)"

Funny I think I'd use the above list of epitaphs for name of a kid before Daryl or Gary.