I’m 25, broke, no F/T job, and still livin’ with pops. I hate it as much as he does, but my work history sucks, so I keep trying every single area employers site, along with the usual job mega sites. I go to various places for career counseling, but my degree semi-blows, and what I need to know is should I go back to school for an IT-related Masters, another, probably easier, Masters, continue to find a job where I live, or move?

Signed,
Needing A New Life

P.S. Not like you never get this, but, the over/under is .5% chance with you after me listing all that. How close are those odds?

Dear Needing A New Life,

As a very quick and fast response, I’d suggest going back to school. I know it sucks (fucking sucks), but education is always a good investment. Also, in regards to your PS, lots of chicks are after guys with fancy jobs and flashy clothes, but some girls just want a guy with a good sense of humor. And a huge cock, too, I guess.

Here’s what it seems like the root of the problem is, Needing A New Life: you can’t find a job. I’m sure that you’re already fully aware of this. Seeing as how you visit our web site, I’m very much convinced that you are an amazing person. But do you think that you boast a sufficient amount of confidence during your interviews? Can you convince them that you are fit for the job? Do you yourself think that you are fit for the job? Now ask yourself this: if YOU don’t think you can do the job, who else will?

Getting a higher education will help both you and employers gain more confidence in your skills. Education is always a good investment – you can never stop learning. However, going to school might mean that you have to live with daddy for a few more years. To help pay tuition, you can get a part-time job (perhaps in services) or apply for financial aid or grants. And once you have that degree in yours hands, it will be much easier to (1) get a F/T job, (2) stop being broke, (3) move out of dad’s house, and (4) score with the ladies.

Imagine I’m a division head or a company owner, and I need to hire someone. I ask around the company if anyone knows anyone that could fill the position. If there are no good suggestions, I then go to the next step which is listing an ad or contacting a head hunter. (Depends on the position and what I’m willing to pay to fill it.)

You see my ad, and you send in your resume. You are now competing against everyone else that sends in the resume. What am I looking for on the resume? Somebody who is best qualified to do the job that I can hire for the least amount of money possible. Or whatever my budget will allow.

Your resume better be more than just a laundry list of crappy jobs you had for the summer. It should be tuned to what I’m looking for. If you’re applying for a job that writes software for car repair, you should not just say on your resume, “Programmed financial software for an insurance company.” And turn that around to say, “Wrote lead software for automobile insurance.” So that it looks like you have more experience than you do, or at the very least you are playing up your related strengths. Don’t hope that the interviewer finds your strengths. Put those strengths out there.”

If your degree isn’t spectacular, simple add on another educational level above it, like, “Masters in Programming” and put it as something you are “Currently” attending. Even if you aren’t doing it. You can always enroll later in night school if they want to see you get the degree in it. But that way you’ll have an extra bit on your resume that required no real investment of time.

The resume is smoke and mirrors anyway to get you into the interview chair. At which point, you need to be eager to work. They are offering you a job, and you should be all about taking on whatever they offer and if you don’t know it, suggest you will learn it, and relate anything you can to things you have already done. Build on it.

Often, the best course of action is to take a crap job in a large company and transfer from within. You won’t land something great (Usually) right out of school. So you should start by sweeping the floors and move your way up the ladder.

You can go back to school to ride out the current unemployment wave, but you do need to have an air of confidence about you. If you want to work, and you desire to get a check and kick-ass at what you do. Then people will hire you. Employers want people who will produce for them and make them money. If you prove to them that you’re that person, they’ll hire you. If you look like you’re just going to be there to pay off school loans and do the bare minimum, they’ll do elsewhere.

Think about what the employer wants and become that for them. If that doesn’t interest you, then you chose the wrong field of study. I love my job, and I love what I do. And anyone who hires me gets someone who is hard working, dedicated, and stays up-to-date. Believe me, most employees are not that way. And that’s why people lose their jobs. Be great at what you do, and employers will hire you.

Unless you took a major in something really stupid. Then you should go back to school and get into a field that is sensible.