Posts tagged assertiveness skills

There’s nothing that an idealistic, trying-to-change-the-world-one-child-at-a-time, do-gooder like me values more than hearing that their work is truly making a difference for others. Yesterday, Vanessa Reinelt, a homeschooling mom of two and teacher of 4 other children, sent me this music-to-my-ears feedback:

We have been working through your “How to Be Angry” curriculum and already are seeing huge benefits. Our children (ages 10-13) are already identifying their anger and striving to express their anger assertively! I have looked at many programs and resources trying to find an appropriate one to teach the kids about emotional and social health. None can compare to the depth and quality that yours provides. I absolutely love the format you use. Teaching the 4 types of Anger Expression and with the healthiest (Assertiveness) as the last module. I genuinely believe if we teach children about expressing…emotions in healthy ways, the human race will stand a chance in reaching the next millennium.

Thanks again for your time Ms. Whitson. You are truly a credit to your profession. Thank you for your amazing book. Your work is making the world a better place.

Thank YOU, Vanessa, for prioritizing the social and emotional health of kids!

It’s one thing to write about helping kids make smart choices when it comes to expressing anger — it’s another thing to watch an emotional situation play out right before your eyes and hope that your own child will make a good decision! Last weekend, I took my daughter and her friend to a pizza-n-games type of place. For them, making time for the delicious pizza buffet is like “having” to eat their veggies before they can enjoy dessert; wobbly crane machines and spinning prize wheels are the true delight of the restaurant. (more…)

Have you ever been in a situation where you were so overwhelmed with feelings of anger that you were at a loss for words? You had the presence of mind to know all of the things that you shouldn’t say, but weren’t quite sure how to express your true feelings without damaging your relationship.

Adults often struggle with effectively communicating their angry feelings. For children, this challenge is doubly difficult; kids don’t want to get in trouble for expressing themselves aggressively, but they often lack the skills for communicating assertively.

How many of you were told as a child, “Don’t be mad at your friend. She was just kidding,” or even “It’s not nice to be angry with your parents?” How many of you–gulp–have even uttered messages like these to your own children? Don’t worry; my hand is raised also. Despite the fact that I just wrote a book about helping kids accept and manage angry feelings, sometimes these knee-jerk responses just fly out of my mouth–as they do everyone else’s.

Are they the worst things to say to a child? Well, having worked for several years with abused children, I can definitively say (more…)

When I was really young, my best friends were all girls. We played Barbies, rode bikes, roller skated, and did all of the things that little girls do, without having to give much thought to making our friendship work. By later elementary and middle school, my girl friendships got a bit more complicated. My “besties” were still girls, but the whole lot of us seemed doomed to endless fights and constant bickering. Social exclusion and relational aggression were not properly identified and labeled for us as “girl bullying” like they are today, so the constant rifts in our relationships were a source of great confusion, as well as sadness and (more…)

From the cries of infancy, to the tantrums of toddlerhood, and hopefully the self-control of school-age years, developing the delicate art of anger expression is a process for children. Some little ones seem to be born with a cool head while others show their hot-tempers right from birth. No matter what your child’s temperament, all people have choices when it comes to handling angry feelings. Parents play the crucial role in helping their children make healthy choices when it comes to anger expression. Consider (more…)

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Signe Whitson is an author and educator on bullying, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health. In her articles, books, and training workshops, Signe provides down-to-earth, practical advice for professionals and parents on navigating the daily challenges of living and working with children, tweens and teens.