To have another baby or not?

Sarah - posted on 07/03/2012
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Hi I have a 3yr old son and an 11 yr old stepson. Now Hades has turned 3 and is starting kindergarten in a few weeks I'm really getting the feeling that I want another one although I said no more, is it natural to feel like this as the youngest grows up it it because I feel he doesn't need me as much as he did? I have so much going on right now with starting study again and to be honest I don't think I could carry another with having been diagnosed with osteopenia and have fractures to my spine. I am only 26 and have just the one that is mine, my logic side is saying no but my emotions are saying yes... any advice?

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Veronica - posted on 07/03/2012

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It really depends if you have the money, the commitment and time for another child? And, why did you name your child hades, in Greek mythology, hades is the king of the underworld and death. Sorry, I geek Greek mythology

At 26 you have lots of time to decide for definite. If you are about to return to study and start a new chapter in your life do you really want to go back to nappies and sleepless nights again? I think all us mums feel a little broody when the youngest goes to school and you are suddenly left with the feeling of what now! If you are serious about wanting another then wait a few months and see how you feel then, when you have tasted your independance. I had two kids at by 24 and I always new I wanted another one but the timing was not right, due to starting a business and moving around a lot. But 15 years later aged 38 I finally had the third baby and now I am at the stage of her going to pre school. I feel a bit lost, but have accepted that I am done with pregnancies! I like my freedom once again. Give yourself time to adapt before making the final decision.

its your choice darl. I have 4children & there is nilly 10yrs between nu2 & nu3. Then i get asked why would you go back after such a long break for more. Some people think iam crazy. Depends on your life style & if you can afford more children i guess.

Ditch the emotions. Become a well balanced, educated person with a huge life that includes family, but that reaches way beyond that too. You will become so much more in your life than a mom. Be an incredible mom to those you have. I am sooooooooo glad I stopped at two. I wanted four. I see people who have incredibly difficult kids with disorders and delays and a myriad of issues that make their parenting 100 times more difficult than mine. I feel so lucky to have wo that are easy. Luck, don't push it! Besides, there is a huge, amazing life once the kids are grown and hopefully they all grow up and move out. And if you really feel mothering is your calling, adopt a few, there are millions f children desperate for your mother love.

Yes it is normal to feel that way. I have four children and my youngest is 10 and I still feel that way from time to time. My oldest is 20 so I'm just gonna wait for the grandkids. But you will feel that way on and off for the rest of your life. And yes you also have to take into consideration the medical part of it. I said I was gonna stop at 5 or 30. 30 got here first. But I also took into consideration the medical problems I had during pregnancy and now. So I think I made a good decision. The only way I can get pregnant now is by the grace of God. And if he wants me pregnant I will be. I would talk it over with your husband and think on it awhile. And if you still feel that way, say in 6 months or so, and your husband feels the same way. Then go for it. But I would also ask your doctor since you do have medical problems that could cause complications.

OK, I held back on my first post but I have to say that some of these women are just saying the truth and not just "being mean" The name Hades is a terrible name. I would hope the parents had the best of intentions when naming the child but come on, the name means what the name means!!!!!!!

Follow your gut feeling. Also go back and think about what it was like to go through the pregnancy and did you get enough help or were you doing it all. I believe it's a natural feeling to not feel needed anymore. Keep in mind your health issues and how it has affected you or will it get worse. Lastly, is your family financially stable to support another child. Jot down the pros and cons. Which ever side over-weighs the other, that will be your answer.

If you really due believe you will have the time and energy for another baby but your health may be an issue and you don't want to adopt. There is always an option of using a serrogate mother , I hear that it's very expensive but it's your egg and your husbands sperm that is implanted in her so it would be 100% yours. My husband and I wanted more kids but because of my health we couldn't have anymore, now she's 13 and I wouldn't want to do it again. I also have a son that is 28 and he has given me 4 grandbabies, Infact the oldest grandson and my daughter are only 3 years apart. So having the grankids around kinda fills that need to have more. Good Luck in whatever you decide. I have another question : you said ur son is years old and going into kindergarten : do u mean he's 5 or is he going into preschool?

I have several stress fractures in my spine (have had since I was 14) I made sure that my pregnancies weren't going to create bigger problems for me. Not only during pregnancy but later on in life too! I'm only 32 and I have severe pain most days. I've had 6 kids and they are wonderful, they make me forget a lot of my pain and I don't regret a thing.

My specialists have said that another pregnancy would cause even more damage and that I'm already looking at the pain getting worse. So I've had my tubes tied to ensure that I will not be having anymore.

You need to talk to your specialist. You need to know if pregnancy is going to worsen your condition now and in the future. What's the point of having another child if you can't enjoy it? Not to mention the impact on your life. If your condition worsens, would you be able to continue studying and later get a job? These are questions you need to ask yourself. It's probably one of the hardest decisions you'll make. But you have to do what's right for you, your family and your future.

I have spine fractures from my last pregnancy... I wanna have a third child 2 but I have to wait till I've lost some extra weight cause my back couldn't handle it otherwise. It's important 2 discuss this with a specialist doctor. I've consulted a few specialist and will have guidance trough the proces of losing weight before getting pregnant. During pregnancy I have to bedrest as much as possible..with allready 2 children around this won(t be easy. If you're only 24 and starting school again I would wait. Wait till you know better what your back can and cannot cope with and try the studying first...you can decide after your first year of school or later. I am 31 years old and will have to wait at least 2 years for my back. Be carefull with that and go to your specialist!

3 years old starting kindergarten?? Yes, it is always natural to want more but doesn't necessarily make sense to. Fractures to your spine and pregnancy do not sound like a good choice. I have 3 boys and love them dearly but 3 can really have some big challenges. Weigh it all out and don't forget to count your blessings.

I have 2 and my baby just started kindergarten. I want another one everyday but I know I couldn't handle a third. Then in April got diagnosed with an enlarged uterus so I decided to ho with a hysterectomy at 30 and everyone thought I was crazy but I am so glad I made the decision on my own. My baby is gonna grow up and if I keep saying one more then I would have like 10 kids. Now I can enjoy being with my kids and living every moment for them.

As the little ones grow it is perfectly normal to yearn for another one. Talk to the doctors and find out just what you could expect from pregnancy with the state of your body. Assess your situation pragmatically. Logic and emotion don't often agree but logic tends to make decisions that are less problematic than emotion does. At 26 you likely still have several years of fertility left so don't rush the decision. If your emotional side can't convince your logical side or vice-versa let the question sit for awhile and take it up again later. But regardless of what decision you come to make sure that you consciously revel in and enjoy whatever stage of life your children are in.

If your emotions and heart are saying yes then yeah ,but if you have starting study again could you fit a new born and study and the other two kids. I had my last child 15 months ago and I would love to another have another baby right now but 4 out of my 3 children of my have different GDD and health issues and Im also a very busy mama, So maybe for 2/3 yrs maybe I will have a baby loI. But hun go with your heart. good luck in the decision