Funny dating rules for guys

What women want: "Don’t be an asshole and wash your asshole." It’s that simple! We’ll let Carly Aquilino and Jessimae Peluso fill you in on the rest.

We tapped the two comediennes—performing together on Saturday as part of the New York Comedy Festival a.k.a.

Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.1.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.1.

Also, some of these aren't "rules" per se, but more like observations or insights. RULE 1: Women communicate in two modes: the way things are, and the way they WISH things were. RULE 2: Women desire attention the same way that guys desire sex. RULE 4: Confidence attracts women even more than good looks. RULE 24: Where women are concerned, pay more attention to what they do than what they say. Any girl that can be stolen from your best friend isn't worth stealing from your best friend. Chances are that you won't be able to get back with her. RULE 30: If you aren't sure about when to bend or break a rule, go with your instinct.

This is why you see fat, ugly, or dumpy guys with hot chicks. You will attract more women when you don't care if you're attracting women. Things involving some activity are best: pool, bowling, roller blading, mini-golf, dancing, etc. RULE 10: Do not give gifts early in the relationship. RULE 20: Never date a girl who has more problems than you do. RULE 25: Realize that women are tricky, lying, manipulative, devious, scheming, sneaky, cunning, calculating, shrewd, and Machiavellian creatures. Chances are also good that if you DO succeed in getting back with your ex, you'll wish that you hadn't. If it's wrong, that's a good lesson for next time...

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Women love and appreciate a funny guy more than you might think!I was probably 6 years old and at a friend’s house. I watched him, and I kept waiting for the punch line. In my opinion, there are several reasons women love the funny guy.First of all, joking around and laughing are great ice breakers for a first date that can otherwise be uncomfortable and awkward.RULE 12: A person can only take advantage of you as much as you let them. RULE 17: Never be the one that says, "I love you" first.

RULE 13: There is no such thing as a "soulmate" or "the one". There are millions of girls out there, though, and many of them have the traits you are looking for. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.

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