October 2006 Archives

This is a follow-up to the last post in which I talked about that handshake gone awry.

The night following the incident we were all out somewhere and I approached the guy to discuss what went down. For the sake of this story, we'll call him "Jon." As that is his actual name.

I explained to Jon how we shook hands and that I felt he squeezed too soon, turning me into a dainty lady.

I wasn't sure what he was going to make of this conversation, but he honestly seemed perplexed and concerned. He very earnestly told me how much he hates it when handshakes go wrong and we agreed that from now on we would just tap knuckles.

At the end of the night I went to say goodbye to my bud, Jon. He put out his hand, I put out my knuckles and he laughed. He made a fist, and as we went to dap them, we somehow missed a little, and only connected on two fingers. Then I walked away.

I don't know if he realized we didn't really have a quality knuckle dap, but it didn't bother me. Not just because I now know he's a good guy, but mostly because I had been drinking and was kinda loaded.

Bad handshakes bum me out. If someone presents me with a limp hand, or a clammy hand, or any other weird form of hand, I can't help judging them. But yesterday I was thrown a curve in the handshake dynamic.

A co-worker (one I don't know all that well) went to shake my hand, and just as it started, he totally squeezed to soon -- forcing my fingers into a far more dainty position than I had intended. Within an instant I became the "bottom" in this relationship.

I sadly tried to salvage it by at least giving a firm squeeze back, but somehow that only made it more pathetic.

I believe he was clearly in the wrong with his premature squeezing, but it didn't matter. Before I knew it I was shaking his hand like my aunt and then it was over and he was walking away.

What made it worse was he's a big, cool, guy's guy, too.

I'll be seeing him again today. I think we may need to discuss this. I'll keep you posted.

I know. It's been awhile. Thanks for all the emails asking where I was or if everything was okay, if I had been hit by a truck, etc...

I've just been super-busy, and when you add in the kids and their somewhat desperate need for "love" -- it makes it tough to be on here as much as I'd like.

I'm trying to think of anything fun that's gone on while I was missing...

In the grand tradition of the little one eating ear medicine, vaseline and the tub of sprinkles, I found him on his brother's bed quietly and methodically powering through a big basket of supermarket mushrooms. They were not cleaned. Apparently that's how he likes them.

I also had a nice birthday which included going to see Guster at the Wiltern theater. I emailed Brian a few hours before the show explaining that it was my birthday and that it would be nice if before whatever the 3rd song they were going to play -- he would think to himself: "This is for Steve!" I had no idea if he'd even get the email in time, let alone oblige.

We saw him after the show and he gave me a happy birthday hug and said "3rd song! What You Wish For! I thought to myself: "This is for STEVE!!!"

So that was nice of him to indulge my stupid request.

I will do my best to be back on here soon. Until then, may your mushroom baskets be full and untouched by 3-year-olds.