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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

THE FOUR GET ROASTED (JAM STYLE)

You remember when MARVEL used to be fun?? Yeah, I know, it was just a few months back when they released their last Christmas Special comic.You remember when DC was fun?? Yeah, I can't remember that far back either. Just when did "AMBUSH BUG: YEAR NONE" get released???Anyways, we're not here to play favorites and indulge in name-calling (the characters in this story do enough of that already), we're here to look at a truly lost classic in comics history.Enjoy it, folks. It'll probly be a long time before I can dig up something this dang 'ol funny.

by Fred Hembeck, Jim Shooter and just about everybody else (just click the link for credits, too many artists contributed to this, and I'm too lazy to type all their names)from FANTASTIC FOUR ROAST (THE WORLD'S SILLIEST COMIC MAGAZINE), May 1982

...in typical Hembeck style, the humor starts right from the very start. Once they get to the banquet hall, they soon realize just exactly what they're in for...

...first up is one of the FF's very first guest stars, much to Johnny's dismay....

...the Sandman isn't the only villain in attendance, take a closer look at the audience...

...but this issue isn't about fight scenes and violence; it's a roast; next up:

...Banner was actually one of Richard's old friends in the original continuity, wasn't he??

...the Hulk 'flies' away?!? No roof on this convention center? Bad plotting by Hembeck? Easier than 'exiting stage right'?? We may never know...regardless, next up is a couple of Marvel's 70's guys (that haven't done much since then, despite Marvel trying to push these characters upon us repeatedly)...

...since there's so freakin' many of them, the Avengers only get one-liners...

...(the Moondragon to Beast panels: is that a gay joke??)...next up is a couple of guys who made their debuts within the pages of 'the World's Greatest Comic Magazine"...

...bet y'all never saw this next roaster coming, and neither did he...

...this next segment seriously confuses me. Are the X-Men being jerks because of a then-current storyline? Or is this an in-joke against the then-current creative team? Or is this just totally random humor? I don't get it...

...almost positive that this next one is a rip on Ditko (poor Steve)...

...who could possibly follow up all those roasters? you'll never guess that it's this next guy...

...in the tradition of the old school roasts (a tradition that Comedy Central continues with their 'celebrity roast' series), at the end, the roasted ones become the roasters. So, just what does the FF have to say? Read on, true believer...