Well, I'm a lonesome schoolboyand I just came into townYeah, I'm a lonesome schoolboyand I just came into townWell, I heard so much about LondonI decided to check it out

Well, I wait in Leicester Squarewith a come-hither look in my eyeYeah, I'm leaning on Nelsons Columnbut all I do is talk to the lime

Oh where can I get my cock sucked?Where can I get my ass fucked?I may have no money,but I know where to put it every time

Well, I asked a young policemanif he'd only lock me up for the nightWell, I've had pigs in the farmyard,some of them, some of them, they're alrightWell, he fucked me with his truncheonand his helmet was way too tight

Oh where can I get my cock sucked?Where can I get my arse fucked?I ain't got no money,but I know where to put it every time