Sunday, August 3, 2014

Why Enduring Grief Heals More Than the Loss Suffered

In
grief, the counterfeit life of denial cannot stand. The voice of
grief insists on being heard. And if we insist on covering our ears and closing
our eyes to the obvious reality we will not only never heal, we will remain
less mature than God wills us to be.

I can report this as a real experience: where
we respond to the truth of grief in our loss, and we simply endure it, coming
back to God each time, something very special happens. We are not only healed
of the painful nuances of the loss, we are found to learn resilience and the
meaning of life.

The meaning of life is to become mature, to grieve
well, and to do the will of God.

Enduring the grief of loss is a worthy
pastime for a single, solid reason: by endurance, our hearts are softened to
compassion, and our minds are sharpened to perceive compassion. We learn so
much in the pit of despair; in the chasm of calamity; in many senseless days
survived, with hope retained for meaning at same stage.

When we are opened up like a steel can by the
losses we experience, God wants us to remain exposed and vulnerable enough to
call the tough time for what it is. God knows there’s no sense in denial and we
know in our heart of hearts that we are only robbing ourselves of coming to
know ourselves as we could.

One loss grieved well is learning for the
losses to come. But there’s another vital truth we need to understand. The more
we get used to the reality of life – that life is often so far from being
desirable – the more our realities won’t bother us. The more we hold God’s will
up as our only acceptable standard, the more we are not bothered as much when
things don’t go precisely our way.

Getting things our own way is just not the
point of life.

When we live life as if getting our own way
is paramount we are childish, and there is no leadership for anyone reliant on
us in that.

But just one bout of loss that was grieved
well opens the doorway for how we are healed.

***

By
grieving our losses well God is showing us how to handle life. A loss grieved
well is the utmost preparation for life. Grieving losses patiently and
compassionately teaches us about life.