Quickies: Rihanna Tells Jessica Biel She’s Not With Justin Timberlake & A Two-Headed Calf Is Born

Rihanna is rumored to have tracked down Jessica Biel‘s phone number in order to tell the actress that she is not with Justin Timberlake. [Your Tango] — At least not yet, she isn’t. Nah, but seriously, Rihanna is that fierce bitch that would cut you at a party and keep dancing while you bled, but not on her Louboutins.

PopEater has scored an exclusive interview with Jon Gosselin, so who needs tabloids? [PopEater] — He brags about all the paparazzi that followed him in Reading, PA, and Los Angeles. That’s classic Jon.

Soulja Boy was arrested in Atlanta for obstruction when he returned to an abandoned house where he and his friends had been hanging to get his white Range Rover. He reportedly tried to convince officers that the fleeing group of juveniles were there to film a video. [E! Online] — He tried to tell ‘em, but they wouldn’t listen.

Imagine the embarrassment of discovering you and your cybersex buddy are both heterosexual dudes. [College Humor] — Just keep reading…dudes don’t have snatches.

Will this two-headed calf rule its village with an iron fist and the wisdom that comes from having a spare head? Only time will tell. [Asylum] — I, like most humans with a beating heart, find baby animals cute, but this one just isn’t. The head on the left looks like it already hates its life. So sad when nature gets it wrong.

Stop avoiding these five bad things that are actually good for your skin. [Shine] — I still haven’t grasped the concept of oil being good on oily skin, so I’ll stick with benzoyl peroxide.