Archive for July, 2009

As most of you know, Eminem took a couple jabs at Mariah Carey on his latest album “Relapse.” Why anyone would take the bait Eminem is throwing out there is beyond me, but this is Mariah’s response to him. This isn’t the best quality video out there, but I couldn’t find an embed code for the better versions. Honestly, the video is kind of funny, but Eminem is not really someone you want to piss off. Why? Because he will respond back to you and murder you. Here’s his response called “The Warning:”

”Or maybe you do…/ If I’m embarrassing me, I’m embarrassing you/ and don’t you dare say it isn’t true/ as long as that song’s getting airplay I’m dissing you/ I’m a hair away from getting carried away and getting sued/… like I been going off on you for all this time/ for no reason, girl, you out your alcoholic mind.” Why can I relate to that so much?

I have about four songs completely finished for my upcoming album, but I can’t keep this one to myself any longer. It’s too funny and brutal for me not to share it immediately. This is what happens when someone gets on my bad side. It’s really not a good idea… because I will destroy you. I will take your soul, your pride, your dignity, your self-respect, all of it. My words are weapons and they will kill you. Don’t fuck with me.

You can download it here or listen to it on MySpace here. It will play when you go to my profile.

If anyone wants background on the track or if you’re confused about something, just post it in the comments section.

Here are the lyrics so you can follow along:

Maccent
“My Only”
Leaving Las Vegas
[M.Coombs]

This is for real baby, ain’t no illusion
I don’t have a mind filled with doubt and confusion
I ain’t about to lose when I’m feelin’ so close
to the goal that I want the most — My Only
This is for real baby ain’t no illusion
I don’t have a mind filled with doubt and confusion
I ain’t about to lose when I’m feelin’ so close
to the goal that I want the most — My Only

Yo.. I been looking at your pictures up on Facebook
got me cooking up ways that I can make you stay put
never thought with us together it would fade fast
days passed and I thought I’d never see your face laugh
again, baby, crack a smile if you hear me
I know you think I’m getting wild with my theory
we been apart for a while and you clearly
have to see the smile on your child when she’s near me
I love your little girl and I have to tell ya
I missed my whole damn family, yeah, even Ella
never thought that I could ever be your fella
and treat you to Tony’s Pizza, extra mozzarella
while playing the Wii and the Legend Of Zelda
I’m thinking how I’d rather be best friends than nail ya
We destined for failure? then I guess it’s for the best
if we give this shit a rest so we don’t mess with Mahalia

This is for real baby, ain’t no illusion
I don’t have a mind filled with doubt and confusion
I ain’t about to lose when I’m feelin’ so close
to the goal that I want the most — My Only
This wasn’t real, it was just an illusion
you still have a mind filled with doubt and confusion
if I’m about to lose then I’m feelin’ so close
to the edge, I’m about to roast — My Only

ayo, it hurts, for me to even write this fucking verse
already told you the truth and I can’t think of nothing worse
cause you’re cursed, livin’ life like you’re stuck in reverse
somebody give this chick a couple bucks for her purse
maybe you should find a job, baby you should go to work
I don’t wanna be a jerk, but you made me so bezerk
don’t care no fucking more, I’m not playin’ tug-a-whore
the bitch is all yours don’t wanna even up the score
give her four days she won’t wanna see you anymore
guarantee there ain’t a reason when she’s leaving out the door
cause she’s bored, fuck, man I think I see a sore
I knew I should’ve got some fucking rubbers from the store
say I took advantage of you once when I was over
No Bitch. I fucked you five times when you were sober
now you think of yourself as a role model and you can
raise a fucking daughter with a bottle in your hand
“Mike you’ve done some shit too, so you gotta understand”
if I understand this, then I’m not a fucking man

I hope you invested in a lot of armor
cause karma is coming right back to harm ya
never wanted shit to ever have to be this way
but you brought on yourself, that’s the price you pay
I hope you invested in a lot of armor
cause karma is coming right back to harm ya
never wanted shit to ever have to be this way
but you brought on yourself, that’s the price you pay

Last month you had a nice little ding dong haul
getting slapped between dudes like a ping-pong ball
can’t believe I stuck my motherfucking cock in raw
no wonder dude socked you across your jaw
aw, think I mighta went a little far in that line
shiiit, all you wanna do is hit the bars and that’s fine
but you think your daughter’s blind, why are you having kids?
seen so many dudes she doesn’t know who daddy is
so you think it’s kinda funny when she’s callin’ him my name?
but maybe in her brain we all are just the same
go ahead and sue me, you’re a phony lacking wealth
shoulda known you’d screw me, shit you told me that yourself
but shucks, I didn’t listen, it must’ve been the kissin’
sex in all positions that was messin’ up my vision
no hun this isn’t, how I ever dreamed it’d be
if i don’t rap about it you never meant a thing to me

This wasn’t real, it was just an illusion
you still have a mind filled with doubt and confusion
if I’m about to lose then I’m feelin’ so close
to sayin’ fuck you, now I’m a ghost — My Only
This wasn’t real, it was just an illusion
you still have a mind filled with doubt and confusion
if I’m about to lose then I’m feelin so close
to sayin’ fuck you, now I’m a ghost — My Only

So I was looking over my month-by-month results over the past 8 months or so and I couldn’t help but draw a parallel between my poker results and my last relationship. I’m not going to say one has anything to do with the other, but the coincidence is pretty startling nonetheless. I started dating the girl back in October 2008 and initially, everything was amazing. Simultaneously, after logging a mostly losing year at that point, I broke out in October for a +$1521.84 month. Things only got better in November as our relationship escalated quickly and I turned in a $1081.79 profit. We started declining as a couple in December, but I think that I was still content at that point and I managed a $94.55 profit that month. Things started to change for the worse in 2009 though and by the end of January, I knew I was unhappy in my relationship and I completely imploded poker-wise, with a brutal -$1997.65 month. We nearly broke up in February and were hanging by a thread the last couple weeks and I lost $205.75 that month. We did break up in March and I was genuinely depressed for most of the month and I also lost $558.27. By April, I was a man on a mission. I was determined to turn the break up into a positive thing and focused on bettering myself in almost every way possible. One of those things was severely limiting the amount of time I played poker, and even though I logged significantly less hours than usual, I was in a good state of mind and turned in my first profitable month of the year with +$161.74. After two months without speaking to each other at all, she contacted me in early May, we started talking again, things looked like they were going to work out, but by the end of the month, I felt severely fucked over, I was pissed off, and I lost $558.27. A lot of that bitterness carried over into June and I lost $332.14 last month. While I’m not as productive or as happy as I was in April, today I can say that I don’t have the possibility of this relationship working out hanging over my head anymore and I disposed of all my anger and vengeance musically. There is definite closure there that didn’t exist before and I’m off to a really solid start with a $117.12 profit over the first week of July, including +$157 online, which is a pretty impressive number considering I’ve only been playing $3 sit & go tournaments.

So is that a coincidence or not? Either way, if you were to compare graphs of my happiness in this relationship to my wins and losses in poker they would run almost identical over the same time period. It’s hard to judge whether my relationship started declining because I was losing in poker and it was reflecting on me as a boyfriend, or if my game started declining because I was becoming unhappy with my girlfriend. Or maybe they have absolutely nothing to do with each other and I’m just bored and trying to find a way to entertain myself at 5 a.m. Regardless, I thought it was a pretty interesting trend and maybe one that I should think about if I’m going to continue trying to play poker for profit.

I just posted some pretty scary numbers and I think someone with my income and expenses has to question just exactly what they are doing with their money and if this hobby is something I should even continue with. If you add up the totals for 2009 you will see that I have lost roughly $3700 playing poker this year. Granted, $2500 of that was profit that I made in the last 3 months of 2008 that I never actually had in my possession, but that’s still $1200 out of my own pocket on top of that and for someone that considers himself a solid player, that’s unacceptable. I long considered drinking to be my biggest leak playing poker and that if I ever got rid of that, I’d instantly start seeing consistent profits… but I was sober for all of 2008 and it took an enormous rush over the past three months to turn that year into a profitable one and I’ve been sober all of 2009 and I’ve clearly been dumping large sums of money this year. So one has to ask: what am I doing wrong and how can I fix it? Am I simply a bad player? I don’t think so. I understand the game extremely well and I can often tell what the right play is in most situations. So what is it? The answer: I have no bankroll management whatsoever. I went on a huge rush in 2005 and made $25,000 over a three month period. I’ve played limit poker at the $30-$60 level, I’ve bought into $215 multi-table tournaments without even blinking or caring if I cash, and I’ve lost $1000 in a half hour and it only hurt me slightly. It’s hard to experience that kind of financial freedom and go back to grinding it out at $0.50-$1 limit and feeling strapped when I pony up $22 for a tournament. I hit that rush playing way over my bankroll limits and clearly part of me is addicted to fast money. So in order for me to win at poker, these are the actions that need to take place:

a) No more Fixed Limit cash games: First of all, I can’t even afford to lose at any limits that I’m barely interested in playing. Secondly, I think I’ve lost a lot of my limit skill over the past several years or maybe everyone else has just gotten better, I dunno… but one thing is for sure, I’m not winning at this form of poker anymore. Also, the game is just boring and doesn’t have nearly the flexibility that No Limit does. I haven’t been dumping so bad online the past 3-4 months, but a couple of bad sessions at $4-$8 have made some of these past months look worse than they are.

b) Follow a strict bankroll guideline: Generally, to play a full game of limit poker, your bankroll should be at least 300 big bets. So if I wanted to play $4-$8, the usual limit spread at most local casinos, I’d have to have a bankroll of $2400 to not have the natural downswings of the game completely break me. Basically, that means I have a long way to go before I can play right and comfortable in even the most basic low limit game spread at a casino. Someone that is playing 1-table Sit & Go tournaments should have at least 50 buy-ins.

c) Playing in the right mind state: This will be the toughest rule for me to follow cause I tend to steam if I start off poorly in a given session. The key is going to be recognizing such a session and ending it immediately. There will always be another table to play at another time, so there’s no need to punish myself further when things aren’t going well. I also have a tendency to play when I’m really tired. This is more of an issue when it comes to playing in cash games since the situations in tournaments tend to be a little more cut and dry and when I’m playing 5 or more tables at the same time, a lack of patience is much less problematic.

My current strategy (and a working one so far) has been to avoid cash games completely and stick to playing nothing but tournaments, which I have always excelled at. While the buy-ins for the live tournaments at Chips Casino would break my bankroll guideline rule, they are extremely easy, I know the players and all their tendencies very well, and they can be very profitable with minimal risk. Last week, I won the Chips morning tournament three times in a row for +$500 and paid my rent with it. Online, the risk of a higher buy in is much steeper, since it makes up a significant portion of my online bankroll. So this month I have been focusing on $3.40 10-man turbo Sit & Goes and playing about 9-12 tables at a time. I’m yet to have a losing session doing this and I don’t even think I’ve ran particularly well so far and I’m still crushing the game. I’ve sprinkled in a couple of slightly bigger MTT buy-ins and managed to finish 44th of 2279 people in a $5.50 rebuy tournament today for +$80ish, which was a significant percent increase for my bankroll. 1st place was $7000 and anything above 6th place would have been my biggest cash ever. Unfortunately, once the money bubble approached (416 people cashed), I never found any good situations to build my stack. I had a bottom 10% stack from 460 people left to about 80 people left when I finally doubled up and had about an average stack. I didn’t find any good situations to put myself in a position to take the whole thing down, so when a guy that had been playing way too many pots with his big stack opened up in EP for a small raise, I shoved my 200K stack in the middle with A8 figuring he would fold all but the top percent of his range. He called me with 77, which is a pretty surprising call considering that I should’ve had a really tight image at that point and that wasn’t exactly a bad situation for me. When I shove with a medium stack with A8 and get called, I expect to have 3 outs and be a big underdog, but instead, I had a 50% chance of building a top 10 stack and when I flopped a flush draw to go with my two overcards, I could smell that big money. Unfortunately, he turned a set, and I missed the river and headed for the rail. Regardless, it was a nice, deep run that reminded me of what I’m capable of and I think if I can stick to grinding out this micro-stakes tournaments, while taking the very occasional shot, I should be able to turn the second half of 2009 into a very profitable one.

Okay, so the Mariners are in third place, winning over half their games, and only 3.5 games back in the AL West division. I would have bet money against that happening when I wrote this post.

Team Outlook at the midpoint:

Catcher: Kenji Johjima has a whopping .660 OPS (on-base % + slugging %), a number many NL pitchers can probably top. Unbelievably, Rob Johnson and Jamie Burke have been even worse. Whatever the Mariners are doing to keep winning games, it almost certainly has nothing to do with the offense at catcher. With Jeff Clement sitting on an .853 OPS at AAA Tacoma, I can’t really make sense of the situation. I know he has struggled offensively in the majors so far, but he must be the worst defensive catcher in the world if Seattle doesn’t think he’s an upgrade over our current rotation. Grade: F (Previous Grade: F)

First Base: Russell Branyan has been a beast. I railed him in my post back in early April and he’s making me look pretty stupid right now. With 21 homers and an on-base percentage of .390, he’s looked more like Adam Dunn than Richie Sexson this season. I knew Branyan had this kind of pop and, as expected, he’s striking out a ton, but the fact that he’s managed a .294 average through 82 games is remarkable. Over 2200+ at bats in his career Branyan has been a .238 hitter, so I’d have to guess his average will take a pretty significant hit before the year is over. As it stands though, Branyan has set career highs in almost every important offensive category and has been a huge asset to the Mariners in the first half of the season. He has a ridiculous .986 OPS and has outscored Ichiro to lead the Mariners in runs. Grade: B+ (Previous Grade: D)

Second Base: Hitting .229 with 5 HR at the start of June, Jose Lopez was looking like a huge bust. Lopez had a big June however, batting .329 with 5 HR and 20 RBI for the month. Despite his poor start, he’s still on pace to set a career high in homers and RBI. Lopez could use some patience at the plate, but I still think he’s a rising star and hopefully we can see him build on the momentum he created last month. Grade: B- (Previous Grade: A-)

Shortstop: I said earlier this season that Yuniesky Bentancourt is neither an asset nor a liability, but that was assuming the M’s weren’t going to contend. His defense has been average and his offense has been subpar. Bentancourt is just a place-holder for future stud Carlos Triunfel (now in AA), but unfortunately, the M’s are in a pennant race and they could use an upgrade now. Grade: D (Previous Grade: C)

Third Base: Adrian Beltre has had a pretty bad first half. Not only is he killing the Mariners with his putrid offense, but he’s also diminishing his trade value if the M’s decide to shop him at the trading deadline. It’s possible the M’s will hold onto him since they are actually competing and Beltre is a solid defender. Since it’s unlikely at this point that we would get anything worthwhile in return, I think the Mariners are better off just holding onto Beltre and hoping he can put a decent second half together for the stretch run. Grade: C (Previous Grade: B)

Left Field: Endy Chavez was serviceable before he got hurt. A .273 average and 9 stolen bases are respectable numbers. Wladimir Balentien, a former top prospect, has been filling in for Chavez and still can’t hit major league pitching. Ryan Langerhans has looked solid in his brief Mariner stint, knocking four extra base hits in just 16 at bats so far. With Chavez on the 60-day DL, left field has become a black hole for the M’s, so let’s hope Langerhans can put together a couple of fluky months. Grade: F (Previous Grade: D+)

Center Field: Franklin Guitterez has been yet another solid, but unspectacular piece of the Mariner’s winning puzzle. A .293 average and .354 OBP are decent numbers and he has shown nice range and a quality glove in center. His eight homers rank 4th on the team, so he’s shown moderate pop so far. Grade: B- (Previous Grade: C)

Right Field: Ichiro Suzuki remains the best hitter on the team and his bat has been sizzling, scorching opposing pitchers to the tune of a .391 average over 238 at bats in May and June combined. The fact that Ichiro bats leadoff and sports a .360 average for the season, yet isn’t even on pace to score 100 runs says a lot about the Mariner offense; it’s not that good. The pitching staff has been great so far this season, but if Ichiro doesn’t score 100 runs this season, I’d be surprised if the M’s are still in it come September. Grade: A (Previous Grade: A)

DH: Ken Griffey Jr. is done as an every day major leaguer. He’s not even a reasonable platoon guy at this point, hitting a puny .203 vs right-handed pitchers this year. There is still some pop left in his bat, but 26 RBI and a .402 slugging percentage from your regular cleanup hitter are some pretty ugly numbers. For whatever reason, even though The Kid can’t hit anymore, opposing pitchers still seem scared to throw him strikes, and his 39 walks have kept him from being completely worthless. Griffey has declined sharply the past two seasons and the biggest contribution he’s making to the Mariners at this point is taking place in the ticket booth. Perhaps he has been our good luck charm. I love Griffey to death and idolized him growing up as a Mariner fan, but I don’t think he’s helping this team in 2009. If the M’s don’t want to use Jeff Clement at catcher, he should at least be stealing at bats from Griffey in the second half. Grade: D- (Previous Grade: C+)

Bench: The Mariners are not a deep team offensively. Mike Sweeney, Ronny Cedeno, Rob Johnson, Josh Wilson and Chris Woodward would all struggle to find major league jobs in any other organization and that’s not a good sign when three of your starting position players are on the disabled list. How much did the M’s really need to pony up to keep Willie Bloomquist in a uniform? His .284 average, 15 stolen bases, and defensive versatility would be invaluable to Seattle right now. This group is honestly a brutal bunch and the offense would be anemic enough without all the injuries. Grade: F (Previous Grade: F)

Offense: Ichiro and Branyan have been the only consistently productive hitters. Lopez came on strong last month and the offense as a whole plated Ichiro 19 times in June, which is a step in the right direction. The fact that the Mariners are above .500 despite ranking 2nd to last in the majors in runs scored is incredible. I know the pitching staff has been amazing, but I still don’t really get it. It seems like there is a different hero behind every win. I do think that the Mariners are going to need to upgrade offensively if they have any plans of staying in this thing. Chris Woodward isn’t going to make Adrian Beltre expendable, so unless the M’s tank in July, I don’t see that trade happening. Jeff Clement absolutely needs to be in the majors… he’s proven all he’s going to prove at AAA and I honestly can’t see him doing worse than Griffey or our current catchers. If we do make a trade, I think we have to shop for a shortstop and Jack Wilson or Cristian Guzman would be logical, cheap upgrades. Grade: D

Starting Rotation: Felix Hernandez is well on his way to celebrating his breaking out party. King Felix has been the Mariners best pitcher for a few seasons now, but hadn’t really put together a full season of ace-worthy numbers. It looks like he might be putting it all together this year and is set to demolish his career bests in ERA, innings pitched, and strikeouts. He’s probably not going to have his first 20 win season, but has put together a first half that would have him in the Cy Young picture if he can duplicate it over the rest of the season. Erik Bedard has pretty much done what we expected: pitch well and miss a number of starts. If he could just stay healthy, he could create one of the best pitching duos in the majors with Felix. I said I wouldn’t get excited about Jarrod Washburn even if he threw a no-hitter… Well, he tossed a one-hitter yesterday and allowed no other base runners. Needless to say, I’m impressed. Washburn hasn’t been dominating; opponents are hitting .282 against him, which is somehow a career low for the lefty. Opponents have posted a super low .224 BABIP (Batting Average on Balls In Play) against him, so it’s likely Washburn is going to regress in the second half. However, the improved outfield defense has certainly helped Washburn, an extreme fly ball pitcher that also benefits from a spacious home park. With Washburn performing above expectations and Brandow Morrow now easing into the #4 spot, the rotation is looking pretty solid right now, especially with Jason Vargas posting above average numbers for a fifth starter and Garrett Olson acting as an effective spot starter. All in all, the rotation has been rock solid so far this year and has potential to improve once Morrow starts getting deeper into games. It’s unlikely that Carlos Silva will have a job in the rotation when he comes off the disabled list and that’s a good thing for this team. Grade: B+ (Previous Grade: D)

Bullpen: David Aardsma has been quite the revelation in the closer role posting an absurd 1.41 ERA, holding opponents to a .165 average while converting 17 of 18 save opportunities and striking out 48 batters in 38.1 IP. I’m not sure anyone could have predicted that happening, but he’s sure answered one of the biggest questions the Mariners had when the season opened. Aardsma has combined with Mark Lowe, Sean White, and Miguel Batista to post a 2.78 ERA over 158.2 combined innings with 121 Ks between the quartet. These guys have made the Mariners extremely tough to be beat in a close game after the 6th inning. Batista also has the ability to go multiple innings and spare the rest of the bullpen when the games aren’t close. Shawn Kelley has been dominant in the first 11 innings of his major league career. Also, whether Vargas or Olson, one of those two should provide quality long relief. I don’t care much for the names of our bullpen corps, but you can’t really argue with the results. These guys have been stellar this season and have turned what I expected to be the biggest weakness on the team into its strength. Grade: A (Previous Grade: F)

Pitching Staff: I’m not sure how it happened and I doubt anyone suspected it was possible, but the Mariners have the best staff in the majors right now. They barely edge out the Los Angeles Dodgers for the best ERA in all of baseball. You can certainly credit the M’s pitchers and the defense behind them for this unexpected start to the season. Even though they have proven themselves over the first half of the season, I can’t really say I’m entirely sold on our bullpen. I think Aardsma is in a groove and doesn’t look to implode any time soon, but Batista is definitely someone that can blow up at any given moment. Our rotation is solid though and our staff as a whole will keep us competitive over the rest of the season if our offense can pick it up. Grade: A

Overall: Our rotation has been solid and has the potential to improve and the bullpen has been phenomenal so far this year, but I think our offense is going to need to turn it up a notch for the stretch. An upgrade at SS and moving Jeff Clement into the starting lineup seem like the right moves to me. If Lopez can maintain his June pace and Beltre can start hitting, the Mariners just might keep this thing going into September. I think we have the staff to do it, but our offense is looking suspect and I think we are missing a couple crucial pieces. Grade: B- (Previous Grade: C-)

So my roommate is a rapper also and we get into a freestyle session every once in a while and dude just hit me with one of the hardest/funniest bars I’ve heard off the dome. I have to share some background in order to do the line justice. I got dude a job at Silver City and he’s been training with me this past week. It’s kind of funny cause he’s a pretty cocky guy, but has no restaurant experience and it has been amusing watching him fumble around looking bewildered. He’s picking up on it pretty quick, but I can’t help but make fun of him a little bit. Anyways, after I rapped and made reference to my genitals and commented on him looking confused at work, he hit me with:

“Look dog, I already told you about your little needle dick/
say I suck at my job, well that’s because i reflect leadership.“