If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris entered American Idol and won the X-Factor.

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.

Chuck Norris CAN find the end of a circle.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.