ABC

SUBURGATORY Recap: Leaving Chatswin

Send in the Clowns: You all remember Marty, right? The zoning commissioner that likes to sit in the steam room of the country club, well he opens up to George while steaming. He’s never been outside of Chatswin, next year though he is going to use his 3000 vacation days and take a long trip. Unfortunately that isn’t going to happen – passing away that very afternoon.
At Marty’s memorial brunch Dalia gets up and starts to sing /speak Send in the Clowns over a slide show of pictures of Marty. It’s a picture that Marty accidentally photo bombing, his corpse under a sheet on the gurney and his driver’s license. It’s horrific and Noah cuts that part short, thankfully.
The memorial goes on like that, Marty’s postal carrier, Noah making bad jokes until finally George gets up to speak. He doesn’t have much to say because he didn’t really know Marty. That really gets to George, admitting they might not have known Marty at all.
George is the person that knew him best though so the country club gives George Marty’s ashes.
Later George is at home looking at Marty’s ashes, he is freaking out about being in charge of his final resting place. He and Noah go to the club to break into Marty’s locker, I guess they were going to leave the ashes in the locker at the club. Instead in the locker they find two tickets to Bora Bora. George is excited because that means there was someone in Marty’s life. They are going to track her down.
They find Fatima – the lady from the other Bora Bora ticket – at the diner Marty ate breakfast at for the last 50 years. She doesn’t know who Marty is though until they say he ordered hash and eggs. She does recall him then and says he was a good man. George gives her the ashes and calls them love birds except Marty never spoke to her, just ordered his breakfast and asked for the check. George pulls out the Bora Bora tickets and gives them to Fatima, Marty would want her to have them. She thanks Marty’s ashes with a kiss on the urn. Noah is disturbed because he thought it was very erotic.
At the end of the episode George ad Noah put on Hawaiian shirts and borrow Marty’s vintage car. They take Marty’s ashes past the Chatswin city limits and pour them out on the grass. Marty finally traveled outside of Chatswin.

Call off the Hit: Ryan is back in town and Tessa is still pissed he lied about where he was going. She confronts him and Ryan’s explanation is he was being pursued. Tessa is sure he means but girls but no, it’s actually colleges. Tessa is less upset than she was a moment ago. She asks him why he didn’t tell her and he says it is because he didn’t know how she would feel about him going away. She’s fine with it, she is going away too eventually. That is what kids do, they go away to college. Her smile looks pretty fake though.
That afternoon Tessa meets with Jenna, Noah’s daughter, to talk about college and relationships and Jenna says the long distance thing doesn’t work. A few more ex-Chatswin kids join them for coffee to say how great going away to college is.Ryan however is miserable, he sits forlorn on a bench with Lisa outside The Gurt Locker (a yogurt joint.) Lisa wonders if Tessa broke up with him and he says not with her words. He even wonders if he should divert for a year and then go to whatever school Tessa applies to. Lisa thinks that probably won’t work because Tessa is going to go to a school for smart people, not jocks. Ryan is visibly upset.
Ryan wonders around dejectedly when he runs into the guy from the photo shop that spilled the “you’re adopted” secret. Ryan asks him if someone gives you a gift do you have to keep it. Camera guy, isn’t helpful – big surprise.
Later that night Tessa is at home looking at college brochures, she is picturing her life without Ryan, she thought it would be easy since they are destine for other things. She realizes it isn’t time for that yet though and she heads to her front door to go look for him. Ryan is there, he was about to knock. He tells her he doesn’t want to scare her off with the L word but, “I love you. I’m in love with you and I love loving you.” It’s just the sweetest thing and Tessa gets a little teary eyed.
The L word he was worried about was leaving…FYI
Ryan goes on to say she doesn’t have to worry, he isn’t going to let his perfectly chiseled physique get in the way of what they have, he’s going to stay and get fat with her. She says no, he can’t jeopardize his future so they can stay together. Ryan just smiles and says it might be too late.
Next thing you know Tessa is calling camera guy to cancel the hobbling Ryan had ordered so he couldn’t play ball anymore. Ryan was going to go all out to stay with Tessa wasn’t he?. Tessa gets voicemail and leaves a message to call off the hit. They are about to go back inside when the camera guy runs up from the bushes with a pipe and hits Ryan in the leg, it hurts camera guy way more than it hurts Ryan. Camera guy shrugs it off and leaves.

WTF: At school Evan (the Jewish magician kid – yes that is his identifier) is approached by Dalia. She says she has been thinking – because that is a good idea. Dalia peppers her speech with Yiddish and basically says she wants him – bad. She leans in and kisses him, full on suck his lips practically off his face. I thought he might pass out but he manages to stay standing while she walks away.
And then there is Noah. Unfortunately this whole Marty dying and George saying you have to do things with your life and live while you still can forces Noah to admit he is in love with Carmen.George (and all of us): WHAT?