Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Have you ever.......or do you have a friend who might do something that they feel they need to hide, specially NOT mention or even lie about when you ask them about it? Why do people do that? It just complicates life THAT much more when you do something that you feel you need to hide or lie about. For example if I have a friend James who met a female he liked but when he brought her around, a few of the fellas knew that she was a loose chick from back in the day so they clowned him all the time about being with a "well known" girl, kissing on her in public and all that normal stuff you do when you with somebody. So James just came around less since he didn't wanna get laughed at for being with his girl or when he did kick it with the fellas he never mentioned his girl and/or was scared to call her cause he didn't want his boys to ride him for having feelings for her.

Now by James caring too much about what people think about him, he already created two problems in his life within his own circle of friends AND with his girl:

1.As much as he likes hanging with the boys and his girl, he now feels that he CANT have them all around each other at the same time because he feels weird knowing that his boys are probably laughing at him in their minds when they see him kiss this girl or tell her that he likes/loves her. So he now has to pick one or the other.

2. Now if he chooses to hang with his boys for the day, he wont answer his girls calls anymore or will only hit her up on the sneak tip to say a few words and get off before his guys find out who he is talking to, causing a classic case of NEGLECT of some extent to his girl because of his concerns with what his friends will say about him.

Besides the two complications this dude created for himself on his own, now what happens when one of his boys see him around town or find out that he is still with his girl after James been frontin and acting like he doesn't mess with the girl like that? They will see him and say he be on that sneaky stuff and see him as a frontin brotha from that day on, or they just wont trust him anymore or see him as a liar, for lying to his own close friends about the facts of the matter. When in reality he could have just not gave a damn about what his friends thought, been proud that he and his girl were compatible and been able to bring her around as much as he wanted and call her no matter who he was around. Cause friends will be friends, we all have jokes but after a few times things start to get normal so the jokes will stop or greatly reduce when you don't care about them. Think about IT!!

See how much drama you can cause for yourself when you try to hide, front or shadow stuff that you chose to do in your life? The point is BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU CHOSE TO DO IN LIFE, WHO YOU CHOSE TO TALK TO, WHO YOU CHOSE TO KISS, TOUCH or SLEEP WITH and WHO YOU CHOSE TO BE WITH. Cause if you feel you wanna do or say something that you might have to hide, NOT MENTION, or lie about to people you're close to then its not worth doing. Cause its will boil down to you choosing between good honest friendships/relationships OR restricted friendships/relationships and not being trusted or believed by your own friends (if somehow they find out what you did one way or the other), WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT!!!

IF you really wanna sleep with someone then sleep with them and do your best job, don't front about it, be happy. If you wanna kiss someone then kiss them with pride, if you wanna date somebody you feel is worth your time then go for it and have no remorse, we live and we learn. If you smoke then you smoke, if you drink then you drink, your being YOU, if you smoke crack(which i DO NOT recommend) then your just a crack head lol but hey be proud of what you do. REAL friends will accept us for whatever we do and Should NOT judge us, they might ride on us out of love but that's natural, take their advice to heart and jokes will be jokes so brush it off and they will see that you are who you are, love it or hate it.

COME ON PEOPLE, STOP BEIN PHONY AND RISK DAMAGING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP/FRIENDSHIP. BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO THINK TWICE ABOUT, Determine if its something you can do, and make sure you know WHY you do it. If you can't answer those questions then ASK YOURSELF........IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?

Im quick to admit, Im not perfect but i already learned in life that doin sneaky stuff DOES NOT pay off at all. I never wanna lose the trust of my friends for some silly stuff and damn sure whatever i do will have purpose and i will be open to say or admit whatever. For example in a relationship i have NEVER cheated on any of my girls no matter if there was a problem or not, never even thought about it to be honest. BUT if i ever did cheat then im just gonna come out and admit that within a day or two cause if i feel that i need to seek another woman for sexual pleasures or emotions then i must have REALLY not been happy so im just gonna admit to it/break it off and not be phony because i HATE phony people who do phony actions and try to cover it up or lie about it. Everything you hide will come to the light, one day, one month, quhttp://www.blogger.com/estion is....will you be prepared to handle it?

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comments:

Great post. I have a friend in a situation with a guy similar to who you described. She's overweight. She met a guy who seemed completely enamored with her. They both write poetry, can talk and laugh for hours, etc. All of this chemistry even before their first date. Well after first date, they pick up some movies and he wants to come to her place. She asks why they can't go to his. Reason: he lives with his brother who has "a different taste in women" and he "didn't want to hear his mouth." So he likes my friend a lot, a whole lot actually, but not enough to face whatever he feels his brother will say. He missed out on a good thing because of it. Eyes are so blind sometimes.