U.S. viewers (millions):

SpongeBob:[SpongeBob walks outside his house, and breathes in the fresh air] Ahh, what a wonderful day. The sun is out, the water is shimmering, scallops are chirping. So peaceful. [SpongeBob suddenly grabs wood, a hammer, and some nails, and starts to noisily build a stand. Squidward peeks his head out the window.]

Squidward: Can we lower the volume, please? I can't work with all that racket going on!

SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing, Squidward.

Squidward: Yes. Mmm. Right. Mmm.

SpongeBob: Okay. [he taps on a nail lightly, and he looks up at Squidward's window. He does it again, and continues to, making sure he doesn't make too much noise. Meanwhile, in Squidward's house, Squidward has his clarinet in hand.]

Squidward: And now... for some soothing sounds from Squidward's clarinet. Thank you, thank you. [He starts to play. SpongeBob looks up and sees that Squidward is playing, so he decides to finish his stand quickly. Squidward looks out the window again.]

Squidward: I thought I... Wha?

SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward. Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents.

Squidward: Oh, right. Like I would spend a moment of my time blowing bubbles.

SpongeBob: Uh huh.

Squidward: Oh, puh-lease. I mean, who in the world would pay to blow bubbles? [Patrick comes out of his house, stuck to the underside of the rock]

SpongeBob: Sure thing, Patrick. [he pulls out a quarter and he gives it to Patrick]

Patrick: Ah, one quarter. [he hands the quarter back to SpongeBob, and bites it to see if it's real]

SpongeBob: Thank you. [cuts back to Squidward]

Squidward: Hmm, business is booming. [he laughs] How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors? Uh huh. [he continues playing. Cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob dips the wand in the bubble soap]

SpongeBob: One bubble wand, dipped and ready to go. [Patrick grabs the wand from SpongeBob, inhales deeply and begins to blow, but a bubble doesn't come out. He pants and blows again. After a while, SpongeBob puts up a "Lessons" sign. Patrick then loses his breath] Could I interest you in some lessons? Only 25 cents.

Patrick: Uh, very well, then. Hey, Sponge, can I borrow another quarter? [SpongeBob hands Patrick a quarter] Thanks. [he winks and hands the quarter back to SpongeBob]

SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, it's all in the technique. [he starts doing his infamous routine] First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two, three. Then pelvic thrust! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then... [he blows bubbles shaped like ducks]

Patrick: Oooh. [SpongeBob pops out of nowhere and blows a box. Patrick giggles and SpongeBob blows a caterpillar] Ah! [The caterpillar then pops one-by-one, with descending sounds. Patrick continues to giggle. SpongeBob blows a tugboat, and it floats off, pops, and makes a foghorn noise. Cuts to inside of Squidward's house]

Squidward: Huh? [he shakes his clarinet. Cut back to outside with SpongeBob and Patrick]

SpongeBob: And now... with two hands! [he inhales deeply and blows out an elephant. Circus music, in particular part of the piece "Entry of the Gladiators", starts playing.]

Patrick:[Laughs] It's a giraffe! [Patrick continues laughing as the elephant floats over into Squidward's house. SpongeBob then worried as the bubble pops and tons of smaller bubbles come out of both windows of the house while an elephant sounds. Squidward opens the door with a sour look on his face. SpongeBob and Patrick hide behind the stand. SpongeBob places a "Closed" sign on it. Squidward looks over the stand]

SpongeBob: Excuse me, sir, but we are clo-

Squidward: Don't give me any of that! How can you two possibly make all this noise just blowing bubbles?!

SpongeBob: We're not just blowing bubbles. We're making bubble art. Watch carefully. [he does his infamous routine again] First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two, three. Then pelvic thrust! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then... [he blows a butterfly, which flies over to Squidward, lands on his head, and pops]

Squidward: That's not art. That's just annoying. Blowing bubbles, that's the lamest idea I have ever heard. [SpongeBob and Patrick, now depressed, head to SpongeBob's house] You should be ashamed of yourselves. [SpongeBob closes the door as Squidward laughs to himself] Bubbles. [he continues laughing] Art. [he mumbles, and picks up the bubble wand, sniffs it, and inhales to blow. Then, SpongeBob pops up out of nowhere]

SpongeBob: We also offer lessons for beginners. [he puts the "Lessons" sign up]

Squidward: Beginners? What could be more simple than blowing a stupid bubble? [he pulls a quarter out] Here's your 25 cents! [SpongeBob bites it to see if it's real and it bends] Watch and learn. [he inhales and blows, but nothing happens] Uhh... wait, wait, wait. [he inhales and blows again, but nothing happens again] One more time. Here. Wait. [he inhales and blows again, and a small bubble comes out and instantly falls to the ground and bursts, making a fart sound. Looks over at SpongeBob and Patrick. They gulp, and then start whistling. Squidward places another quarter on the stand] Uhh... Just a mere warm-up. [he dips the wand in the bubble container, inhales deeply and blows hard. The bubble falls to the ground again, making another fart sound, gets another quarter out and puts it on the stand]

SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, remember the technique. [Squidward keeps trying to blow bubbles while SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to show him the technique] Squidward, technique! You do this, and this, step back....

Patrick: Hey! Technique, Squidward!

SpongeBob: Spin around like thi— Like this... Look at me, over here, one... two.... yeah, three...

Squidward: Technique? Technique!? Technique, technique, technique, technique, technique! [he starts to do the infamous routine, while imitating SpongeBob] First I do this, spin around. Stop. Double take three times. And here we go, pelvic thrust. Wehooooo! Wehoohoo! Oh, stop on your right foot, don't forget it. Then, bring it around town. And a little of this, a little of that, a little of this, this, this, this, that, that, that, that. And that, that, that that that that! And then... [Screams into the wand, blowing a gargantuan, unshaped bubble]

SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow! [Squidward is then lifted off the ground. The bubble pops off the wand and Squidward falls back on the ground]

Squidward: Thank you, thank you, thank you. [he starts to play his clarinet. SpongeBob and Patrick chant Squidward's name. At one point, they belly flop each other and Patrick falls on the ground.] I rock. [Squidward continues to play his clarinet. As SpongeBob and Patrick continue to chant, Squidward's bubble flies over them, covers Squidward's house, and pulls it out of the ground and up towards the top of the ocean. SpongeBob notices and stops Patrick]

Squidward: Hello, my friends. You are looking at a... [he sees how high he is from the sky]

SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward!

Squidward: ...genius. [the bubble explodes in the air and then the ground violently rumbles and shakes. SpongeBob and Patrick look in awe]

SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow! [the ground stops shaking. The two slowly walk back to their homes. They then speed up and run inside their houses. Squidward's house floats back to the surface. He starts playing his clarinet weakly as the screen cuts to black, ending the episode]