April 27, 2010

AND THE WINNER IS...

PEOPLE! I can't believe the number of postings about how Raven was "robbed" when she didn't win RuPaul's Drag Race. Are you stupid? Do you actually believe that this is a true competition with realistic challenges?

On previous episodes, the queens have faced challenges where they sew, rap, appear in chicken costumes, put older, bearded men in drag etc.--none of which any successful queen needs to do. Entertaining yes, but hardly rooted in what a queen has to accomplish in order to make it. Queens all over the country ask me "How did that fat ugly gurl get on the show when they turned me down?" Are you not aware that they cast these shows based not on who the prettiest or most popular queens in the nation are but on the same basis that they cast all reality shows on: we need a bitch, someone who can't speak English, someone fat, someone retro, etc. in order to create conflicts and make dynamic TV on a show whose only plot is elimination. Don't snap when the formula you obviously love doesn't go your way, you big crybabies.

Was New York the prettiest girl to compete for the love of Flava Flav on Flavor Of Love? Did she even win? No, but she got her own show because she was a train wreck who made for compelling TV. They also brought her back on the second season to aggravate that group of girls, which has nothing to do with rules or fairness. That kind of mess is what reality shows are often looking for.

This year everyone wanted Raven to win. Last year everyone wanted Nina Flowers to win. And after she lost, Nina taped some promo for the next season's show saying something to the effect of "This season the queen who deserves to win will win." Don't you realize that the show is designed to push your buttons and it's working beautifully? Just because it's called reality TV doesn't mean that it's real. Enjoy the show as the hit cultural phenomenon it is but don't paint it as a serious competition showcasing the best drag talent in the land. It never tried to be that.

If you really want to get into it, why don't you claim that Tyra should be disqualified for having a silicone-pumped upper lip, since contestants aren't supposed to have had cosmetic procedures? I don't see why these girls pump the first lip only since the bottom lip is normally fuller than the top. I always gagged looking at Melanie Griffith's weird top-heavy lip. But what do I know? Melanie's misshapen mouth is on Antonio Bandera's d(ck and mine ain't. And now Tyra can take that prize money and use it to inflate her bottom lip. Maybe she can pump her son's lips too! Werk!