Wolfe’s Woofer: Mime

Sunday, July 19th, 2015

“What?! You once worked as a mime?” I asked Brian. “I hate mimes.” I was sitting at a table on the deck at Fido’s drinking an early morning coffee and reading. Brian, Fido’s manager had joined me and we were chatting. “Don’t knock it,” he said. “I made a lot of money and it even got me a job at the zoo.” “How did that happen?” “I was at the zoo one day and decided to make some money by doing my street act. I did all of that stuff like pretending to climb a rope and being trapped in a box. When the zoo keeper saw I was drawing a crowd he offered me a job instead of chasing me off.” “What kind of job?” “He was worried because their gorilla had just died. He was afraid attendance would drop so he wanted me to wear a gorilla suit and work in the cage.” “He must a have paid you a lot of money.” “He did. The crowds loved me but the lion in the cage next to me was so fierce that he started drawing more people. One day I climbed over a little partition that separated our cages and hung over the top of him swinging by one arm. He went wild trying to get to me and people loved it. From then on, that was my act.” “It sounds pretty dangerous,” I said. “It was, but it was worth it. The zookeeper raised my pay and things were going great.” “Why did you leave?” “One day I was swinging over the top of the lion and I slipped. When I fell into the cage the lion charged for me. I started running around the cage screaming, ‘Help! Help!” “Were you rescued? “No. The lion grabbed me and threw me down. I was lying on my back looking up at him and he said, ‘Shut up, you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?’”