All she wants to do is “love” your body, so why is Christina Aguilera doing everything but in her new “Your Body” video?

Christina takes a nap!

Christina binges on cereal, and slurpees and beer!

Christina plays old-timey video games!

Christina takes another nap!

Basically, Christina plays a human-lady version of Garfield — one we’d probably love to hang with this weekend, so long as she doesn’t insist on going spray-tanning.

One more detail: it seems the pop star is endowed with sinister, yet adorable, powers in this clip — powers she uses to turn any unsuspecting male model (or Adam Levine-lookalike) into a pretty puff of pink smoke and/or glitter.

Someone’s got a strange definition of “love,” but anything for the sake of a jokey video — and Aguilera fans shouldn’t be complaining. After years — and two seasons of The Voice — spent cultivating a sleazy but uppity image, it’s nice to remember that somewhere under all those rainbow hair extensions, Christina Aguilera still has a sense of humour.

Melina Matsoukas (Rihanna, “We Found Love”) directed the piece, and sneak-peeks of “Your Body” have been surfacing for days.

“Once we started talking with each other and she heard ‘Your Body,’ she [Matsoukas] spun it in a way that you wouldn’t expect at all,” Aguilera told MTV News of the video concept. “And I get to play this character that, yeah, she may be a little bit of a badass, she’s very confident, self-assured, but she’s super playful and super tongue-in-cheek. She laughs the whole way through the video. She’s watching cartoons, and you know she doesn’t take herself too seriously.”