Sunday, December 02, 2007

Santa's work day pretty much started like every other work day this time of year. He entered the Willow Grove Mall through the Bloomingdale's second floor entrance and walked down towards the center of the mall. He passed the book store, the sports collectible store and waved to a few children as he headed towards the elevator. One of the kids waving back was Maxfield. Max was excited.

Santa descended the elevator and made his way to the oversized chair under the 30 foot Christmas Tree. The first few visitors to sit on his lap were all well behaved. They were quiet and shy and they were polite. Then my children took their turn.

Around 10:20 am on Saturday 12/1/07 Santa's day started to go downhill.

I am pretty sure Max kicked him in the nuts.

There was sign posted that read "please do not use you own photography equipment". So I used a hidden camera to record the video.

Ohdear. I've never laughed so hard at terrified children. The camera work definitely adds to the horror movie atmosphere. Poor kids. Poor Santa. And a related rant: what's up with not wanting you to use your own camera? Last I checked, here the Santas let you do that freely. You could buy their pix, or take your own. It sucks when even Santa gets greedy.

Eeeeeeep! I don't know what kind of background check they put those "mall Santas" through, but if my kids had that much instinctive discomfort with him, I think I'd yank them off his lap before he could say "Kris Kringle." (On the other hand, it was pretty funny...)

William, I am so sorry that my post on Santa Torture was misinterpreted. I put this into the "etherworld" so as to have a discussion about why we do a lot of the holiday traditions that we do! When I said, "until their parents take them to McDonalds" I didn't for ONE SECOND mean you and your wife. I swear to G-O-D! I was trying to convey a message about the Santa lap-trip to the mall in general terms as in "this is what people do". I made NO JUDGMENT about your parenting skills (er, at least that was not my intention). I mean c'mon, I visit your site daily and think you and your family are fabulous. (Am I groveling enough for a sufficient apology?) I will post a formal apology on my blog, promise. Can we make up now?

Oh no. Talk about lifelong trauma! My kids are 5 and nearly 7 and have yet to sit on Santa's lap. That's because I never tried. We go to the mall and walk by outside the guard rails and wave, that's good enough for them.

You do not know the welling of love I have for you for posting this. Seriously hilarious. Rob and I love standing on the second floor balcony-walkway of the mall and watching the Santa area from above. There is no better entertainment than that....(and also not too loud from up there).

Poor little guys! It is a funny video, and I got a laugh out of it. But I don't understand what it is with the need to get pics of kids on Santa's lap. If the kids are scared, what is the point of doing it? I used to do that, I have a screaming with Santa photo, too. I don't do it at all anymore. Poor kids, "here sit on Santa's lap, you know that man that stealthily sneaks into your home while you are asleep and watches everything you do and knows if you are bad or good or asleep or awake." Nothing like freaking a kid out!

Okay, it's a month later and I came back for a visit and found this post. I laughed more than I should to admit. True story. Unlike anonymous #2 though, I see nothing wrong with those sweaters as displayed here: http://piercebabyproject.blogspot.com/2007/12/another-saturday-and-i-aint-got-no-blog.htmlBut it would be the best picture as the others presented a look of terror. I was just saying to the Guy I Dig, why do we, as parents, torture our children with Santa's lap? After all, mine loves Santa - from a nice, comfortable, let's-wave-at-him distance. I'll do it again next year...

That was really fun! I's do it again. It was really awesome. Anyway let me just share a thought, You can protect yourself from hidden camera sex by making sure of a few things before you engage in the activity.