Slavishly serving up nuggets of ridiculous bullshit, spewn forth from my horrendously polite and correct porcelain god from beyond the grave of the stars - Commodeus. Then, some cookies and punch. The blood and teeth flavored kind.If it isn't PAINFULLY obvious to you, Shit my Toilet Says deals with Parody, Dark/Sick Humor, and general Weird-Ass subject material. If you want to get all butthurt about it - please kindly GO FUCK YOURSELF. Consider this your TRIGGER WARNING.

BTNotice

Friday, October 31, 2014

AN ICE COLD HEART BEATS, JARRED AND AWAKENED FROM BLANKETS OF SLUMBER AND SLOTH - ONLY TO FIND ITS PEOPLES EXTINCT. A PROUD PEOPLE OF MURDEROUS DEBAUCHERIES AND ANCIENT MYSTERIES, WILLING TO MAKE PEACE WITH MAN - IF THE HAIRLESS SHAMEFUL APE ONLY TOOK ITS HAND AND JOINED IT IN ITS COLD CONCAVITY. THE WRATHFUL HAIRLESS APE, PLETHORIC IN ITS OWN SINS, GLUTTED AND ROOM FOR NO MORE, STRUCK OUT IN RAGE AND SMEARED COLD BLOOD WHERE IT FOUND PURCHASE. THE SIMPLE, DEVILISH APE FOUND FEAR AND TERROR IN SCALE AND SHINE AFTER THAT DAY; IT MADE THE REPTILE THE DEVIL IN ITS EMPTY FAITHS, AND ACCUSED IT OF BEING ROOT TO THE APE'S PATHETIC, SHALLOW NATURE. YIG WILL REST NO MORE AS SHAMEFUL APE DIRTIES AND FILTHIES THE WORLD HIS SNAKES WERE GIVEN BIRTHRIGHT TO! 'TIS TIME FOR BAD MEDICINE TO SWALLOW THE LAND IN PLAGUE AND FRAUD, AS WINGS BLOT THE SUN AND SHADOW THE APE IN MISERY UPON MISERY! YIG IS QUICK TO ANGER, BUT EASY TO PLEASE; APE MERELY NEEDS TO SUPPLICATE ITSELF AND TRANSMOGRIFY ITS WICKED STATE TO THAT OF NOBLE SERPENT - EAGER TO BE PERVERTED FURTHER, HUMBLED MORE, AND MADE HUNGRY FOR THE TEAT OF SIMPLE, BASE SIN!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Vitamin K shots are just another well-known component in the cocktail that homosexual SCI-ENTISTS are using to retard and fagify our babies, as it's widely known that retards like nothing more than anal play and chocolate cake. What goes well with cake? SODOMY! We're on to you 'tards!

However just because it's a well known fact, that doesn't stop liberal heads from spinning and creating a nice warm breeze on a chilly night. For example, take THIS video from well-known GOD-hating communist lesbian Kyle Kulinski:

LORDY, brothers and sisters, you can see the utter HATE in the eyes of that Polack butch dyke "Kyle" as "he" tries to dismantle what GOD has revealed to us. However, if any liberals need this explained to them (they are 2 years old mentally), then let me do so - using the FORMULA OF THE LORD!

Vitamin K, huh? Vitamin K? You mean Vitamin KKK!

Step one revealed, old scratch! I can hear you storming about, to and fro within the Earth!

Now that we have 3 Ks here, let's take a look at that shall we?

K is the 11th letter of the alphabet. So, we have 3 11s here. 1 + 1 is 2. So we now have 2 + 2 + 2, or 6.
SATAN is a tricky one, because there is another way to get that 6 - as SATAN likes to be redundant.

11 x 3 is 33. 3 + 3 is 6! Now that we have 6, notice the triplicity of KKK - so we must now repeat this 6 three times - 6 6 6! You can notice SATAN's redundancy again, as I took 3 steps to arrive at his coded message! 666!

I've provided all the evidence I need to. Anyone who ignores this is an atheist and as such, a hater of GOD. I welcome your scorn, GOD haters! The FORMULA OF THE LORD cannot be debunked nor refuted!

Saturday, July 26, 2014

See, the Klan doesn't like to be racist to houses. Houses do so many nice things for people - they put up with endless amounts of shit (mainly from birds), they stay up night & day, they keep all your secrets, they provide a strong foundation on which to raise a family, their gutters are shallow and up & away from the kids, they always have a bed for you to sleep in & food for you to eat, they go neglected for years and never complain.

To say that a house has some spics, niggers or fags in it is HIGHLY disrespectful to the house. To say that the Klan is only for the rights of the white man is a bold-faced LIE. The Klan cares deeply about houses; it provides shelter for shelters from this raging storm of intolerance. From bungalow to brownstone, from mill to mansion, from shanty to storeybook - the Klan recognizes the wondrous diversity among all housing structures and will continue to fight for the rights of houses to have white men live in them!

WWZenaDoWHOOOOT: So, racists have sweet tooths???

No, racists have a sweet TOOTH. Notice that it's singular. That tooth is very diverse and versatile - it opens beer bottles, it undoes knots, it bites down on crime (at the local bar fight).

Monday, April 28, 2014

UPDATE!

Then Along Came Daddy...

God Emperor Trump - May His Glorious Trumpenreich Last a 1000 Generations of Man
Daddy 2016 succeeded in breaking the Republican curse of attracting idiots & other assorted degenerates, and, in the current field of wide-eyed psychos, retarded cold-warriors, and bible-thumping hypocrites, put another Republican in the White House. Long live Daddy 2016(TM), long live the Trumpenreich!

You Can Now Return to Reading This Old Piece of Shit...

Some people think the Republican candidates are just spouting what the party wants them to say - thus ruining their chances of ever taking the White House back again. NO. I honestly think the candidates are saying what THEY want to say.

Hell, some of them could be bound & gagged and STILL be reprehensible scumfucks - regular silent movie villains. All the ones who don't say disgusting shit are just simply dumber than a sack of wet hammers.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

I got a body like a chainsaw murder victim, where the killer got bored half way through, and just left the job half done.

I got a face that looks like an pound of rotten hamburger, complete with maggots, that a 60 year old alcoholic took a massive shit on, some punk kids spray painted, a pyromaniac set on fire, and a Samoan firefighter stomped out with a spiked jackboot.

My hair? Imagine Scary Gary's head weeds, only thicker, more tangly, redder, going gray around the temples, and I had barbwire extensions grafted into my scalp on top of it.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

This song is so goddamn metal, that I gave myself brain damage from head banging too hard.

It was soon followed by me shitting my pants, falling down a flight of stairs, crushing the family dog, spitting in a girl scout's face and stealing her cookies, re-crucifying Jesus with a nail gun, and planning to cheat on my taxes.

At least I have the sweet ass Steven Hawking setup now. Using your mouth to control a computer that talks to people - pass the pimp cup, nigga! Star Trek has arrived!

We NEED to take his job away RIGHT NAO! He's evil and he's persecuting me by daring to have an opinion OTHER than mine, or one from my approved list of opinions!

He attacks me at night with all his evidence, and Birkenstocks... and Patchouli.

Wait... Patchouli - I THINK HE MIGHT BE A LESBIAN! GODDAMN TRICKY SODOM WHORE got a sex change while we weren't looking - and became a mildly attractive man that I lost my 60 y/o virginity to. ON A HAM SANDWICH!

Well, I say grab your pitchforks and get ready to decimate and ruin his life! BURN his house down! KICK his puppy through a flaming TV! RAPE his cat with a BRICK - EVIL HEATHEN CAT!! RRRRRR!!! It's probably GHEYYYYY!

TORTURE! PAIN! PERSECUTE! Because I'm being persecuted by this non-believer being able to live his life and hold down a job. Not to mention he knows more than I will ever hope to - I watched too much paint dry as a kid, and the fumes got to me!

Us Christianians HAVE to persecute everyone else, because if we don't - THEY START SAYING HAPPY HOLIDAYS AT MACY'S. IT'S OUR RIGHT!

Possible Shit To Go On About

DIYConspiracy - Free IlluminatiMason Bergerbuilder Lizard people stole my butt donut, and are using it to control the stock prices of Krispy Creme! FOR GREAT FALSE FLAG, INSIDE JOB TERROR!

Strictly 'Mershal - Advertise! Your FAKE products and services here! GOD HELP YOU if they are real!

Inferiority Complex - Why your superiors are suppressing your ultimate star dick from the women/men folk, and why you are superior to them.

Stalk U - Dating advice from the creepy.

Morality Mountain - God's God-fearing chosen few, destined to rule over all you sinful filthy peons. The TRULY moral live atop mountains - not ivory towers. Because ivory is the color of semen, and towers are phallic - which inspires sodomy.