Rod Laver vs. X - Official Forum Compendium

How 'bout we just keep this nonsense in this one thread so as not to pollute the entire forum with it?

Now, keep in mind, anyone who actually picks Rod Laver to beat anyone or anything is going to really get on Chopin's bad side. And, trust me, that's not where you want to me given that the dude plays chess and lives in the Virgin Islands.

With that little disclaimer out of the way, please allow me to start by proposing a hypothetical matchup of Rod Laver vs. the Chicago Bulls. Of course, the Bulls will destroy Laver because of the spin, power and height in the modern game. In the famous words of Da Superfans, the score will be "402 to zip, Da Bulls."

I was trying to point out the absurdity of some of these Laver threads as the person who started this thread meant to I believe. I will delete what I wrote in the other post which was not mean in the least.

I was trying to point out the absurdity of some of these Laver threads as the person who started this thread meant to I believe. I will delete what I wrote in the other post which was not mean in the least.

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I don't remember what you wrote - I'm just saying that this thread is a nuisance in spite of its attempts at irony. Let's move on and forget the joker.

Parodies accomplish little but keep him afloat. Which is counterproductive.

Wow, Fifth Set, I'm so proud of you. You and I should play chess sometime soon. I'll even tell you that I'm going to open up with the King's Gambit in our match! E-mail me some times you'd like to play.

Hey--I had a really good day today and crushed some serves and hit very well and then I played the moonlight sonata on my Kawai piano this evening, after not looking at it for a year or so. It needs some work, but the spirit of Beethoven was alive and well. And then I log onto these boards and I find a tribute thread!

Wow, Fifth Set, I'm so proud of you. You and I should play chess sometime soon. I'll even tell you that I'm going to open up with the King's Gambit in our match! E-mail me some times you'd like to play.

Hey--I had a really good day today and crushed some serves and hit very well and then I played the moonlight sonata on my Kawai piano this evening, after not looking at it for a year or so. It needs some work, but the spirit of Beethoven was alive and well. And then I log onto these boards and I find a tribute thread!

You guys are the best.

--Chopin

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This is a "tribute thread" in the same way the dump I just took is a "tribute" to my toilet.

In all seriousness, you would do us all a great favor if you could keep all of your Laver-bashing nonsense here in this thread.

While the forum's Department of Redundancy Department would certainly be pleased by your handiwork, there is really no need to keep starting new threads, now in multiple subforums, to cover the same ground.

Provide us with this honorable gesture and I will happily allow you to make whatever chess moves you wish.

Laver versus the USS Enterprise. Which one, the original series, the Next Generation or the awful Enterprise series? Laver may be able to volley the phrasers back for a while but eventually I've have to go with any of the Enterprises.

Laver versus the H-Bomb-Tough one. The radiation would be a problem but Laver probably be able to hit it out into a safe distance with his powerful left arm. Advantage Laver.

Laver versus the 2011 Packers--Packers have football uniforms but no tennis racquets. Advantage Laver.

Laver versus the 72-73 UCLA Bruins--Walton is the greatest passing center ever. The Bruins would put Walton at the net along with their power forward (Sidney Wicks??) and three at the baseline. Advantage-Even because the Bruins would also play Laver in basketball. Laver wins at tennis.

Laver versus Godzilla--Got to go with Godzilla here. I don't want Rodney burnt very badly. Of course Rod's topspin may blow out the fire. Are we playing in Tokyo? That would be unfair because Godzilla gets the home field advantage.

Laver versus Rhodan. First of all you don't realize that if you take away the "h", the "a" and the "n" from Rhodan you spell Rod. Rhodan is simply Rod Laver in disquise. Even.

Laver versus Godzilla--Got to go with Godzilla here. I don't want Rodney burnt very badly. Of course Rod's topspin may blow out the fire. Are we playing in Tokyo? That would be unfair because Godzilla gets the home field advantage.

Yeah, burgeoning....speaking of burgeoning and you...that reminds me, I need to drop the kids off at the pool so to speak.

EDIT: I couldn't resist, Fifth Set has become the leading candidate for thread/post of the year already.

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The truth is that you are still smarting from me taking out your big brother, on whom the "ban hammer" fell, decisively and justly.

And the fact is that I've barely been posting here of recent days, and even less about your hero, Laver. Yet, you and others can't help but create threads evoking no other poster than yours truly! What can you do? I take it as a compliment. We both know that I've been one of the most influential posters in the former pro player section ever. Now go back to clenching your fists over the Laver-Santoro poll where Santoro (a man who never won a slam) is consistently only 10 votes (or less) behind Laver. That speaks volumes about how many supporters I have on these Boards.

Remember, Rabbit, the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.

The truth is that you are still smarting from me taking out your big brother, on whom the "ban hammer" fell, decisively and justly.

And the fact is that I've barely been posting here of recent days, and even less about your hero, Laver. Yet, you and others can't help but create threads evoking no other poster than yours truly! What can you do? I take it as a compliment. We both know that I've been one of the most influential posters in the former pro player section ever. Now go back to clenching your fists over the Laver-Santoro poll where Santoro (a man who never won a slam) is consistently only 10 votes (or less) behind Laver. That speaks volumes about how many supporters I have on these Boards.

Remember, Rabbit, the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.

The truth is that you are still smarting from me taking out your big brother, on whom the "ban hammer" fell, decisively and justly.

And the fact is that I've barely been posting here of recent days, and even less about your hero, Laver. Yet, you and others can't help but create threads evoking no other poster than yours truly! What can you do? I take it as a compliment. We both know that I've been one of the most influential posters in the former pro player section ever. Now go back to clenching your fists over the Laver-Santoro poll where Santoro (a man who never won a slam) is consistently only 10 votes (or less) behind Laver. That speaks volumes about how many supporters I have on these Boards.

Remember, Rabbit, the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.

Club Chopin Forever.

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As usual, I have the same response "What in the good hell are you talking about?"

Assclown said:

We both know that I've been one of the most influential posters in the former pro player section ever.

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Yeah.....your parents should be very, very proud of you for reaching the apex of your "career".

The truth is that you are still smarting from me taking out your big brother, on whom the "ban hammer" fell, decisively and justly.

And the fact is that I've barely been posting here of recent days, and even less about your hero, Laver. Yet, you and others can't help but create threads evoking no other poster than yours truly! What can you do? I take it as a compliment. We both know that I've been one of the most influential posters in the former pro player section ever. Now go back to clenching your fists over the Laver-Santoro poll where Santoro (a man who never won a slam) is consistently only 10 votes (or less) behind Laver. That speaks volumes about how many supporters I have on these Boards.

Remember, Rabbit, the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.

Club Chopin Forever.

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Please refrain from spamming this thread with off topic tangents. The purpose is to compare Laver to others.

For example, who would win in a matchup between Laver and Obi Wan? Obi Wan would be given a choice of a 95 sq. in. or 98 sq. in. light saber. I'm thinking the "young" Obi Wan from the Phantom Men-ace era, but open to counterpoints on this important question. I would go with Laver in this matchup.

Laver Vs. Freddy Kreuger - he'll kill you in your sleep but can he grip a tennis racket?

Laver vs. Kim Kardashian

Laver vs. Oprah

Laver vs. John Cena

Laver vs. Princess Leia

Seriously...this thread is hilarious...although given what it has turned into probably in the wrong section.

And Chopin...if the responses to this thread still make you feel like a legend...I say this...maybe people are obsessed with you, but its in the same way they become obsessed with a car wreck. Its horrible in every sense of the word, but they still cannot look away in spite of it. In essense...its not much to brag about.