Shady advice from a raging bitch who has no business answering any of these questions.

Menu

On royally fucking up.

As a result of heavy drinking, my partner, best friend, and I ended up having a threesome. The three of us had joked about having one a few months past, but nothing came out of it. Given the heavy drinking involved, a lot of things got blurred.

To get to the point:A week later, I found out my best friend feels that they were violated by my partner during the act. I’m not looking for a lecture on how the three of us entered this wrong. Trust me, sober me knows we missed some vital steps in ensuring everyone had a healthy good time.

I’m in over my head as to how to handle this. How do I support my friend and to what end? To what extent should I accept responsibility for this happening? I was the one who suggested it, and I should have been sober enough to monitor and make sure everything was consensual throughout. Do I tell my partner? I’m also worried that, being implicated in the act, I can’t help my best friend through this.

Please help.

Sincerely,I Royally Fucked Up

I have no idea if this scenario is three dudes, three chicks, or just a good old fashioned two-on-one mix. You’ve gone out of your way not to give away anyone’s gender, which leads me to believe gender is of some unusual significance in your situation.

Maybe your best friend was violated. Then again, maybe your best friend is merely expressing guilt and regret for sexual experimentation. I don’t know, but you need to figure it out.

You were there. Sure, everyone was fucked up, but did your partner violate your best friend? This can’t be about picking sides. It has to be about all three of you getting on the same page about what exactly happened, and if a line was crossed, you have to see this thing through all the way to apologies and acceptance. Even if a line wasn’t crossed, you still have to sort out the underlying emotional issues with your best friend.

Don’t cover this up. Don’t ignore the situation and hope it goes away. You have to get this shit aired out, and since you seem to be at the top of this triangle, it’s gonna fall on you to deal with it.