YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Hush up babies, we know we are unfashionably late to the party on this celeb owned property which has already been discussed by both the L.A. Times and Mister Big Time. We're gonna weigh in anyway because we sorta like this cougar luvin' Ashton Kutcher fella who recently listed his Beverly Hills Post Office bachelor pad for $3,700,000

Before there was Demi and before he was clowning around making famous folks look like a bunch of damn fools on Punk'd, and way before he became a prolific and wildly rich reality tee-vee producer, Ashton Kutcher portrayed a high-lariously stupid and sexed up teenager on the boob-toob pot fest That 70s Show. Property records show that in May of 2001, during his long stint on That 70s Show, the one-time male model dumped $1,690,000 on a 4,860 square foot sorta-Tudar style house on sleepy Suffolk Drive in the Benedict Canyon area of the Beverly Hills Post Office.

His reality tee-vee credits include Miss Guided, Beauty and the Geek and that wretched True Beauty program where vain and allegedly "pretty" people compete to be the most beautiful of the sorry bunch. Young Mister Kutcher has also appeared in a number of goofy romantic comedies including What Happens in Vegas, My Boss's Daughter and the bone chillingly heinous cinematic gem Dude Where's My Car. Plus, he's a politically informed, active and articulate guy, which, quite frankly, is pretty damn hot.

Listing information reveals the gated and recently rehabbed residence sits at the tail end of a quiet cul-de-sac and includes 6 bedrooms and 6.5 bathrooms. That's lot of terlits for a single guy. The floor and stair treads in the double height entrance hall have been laid with brick-like brown tiles and for some reason a silly suit of armor has been tucked into the curve of the curving stair case. Someone please tell Your Mama that Mister Kutcher did not call this metal piece of poo Jeeves or some other stoopid and stereotypical butler-ish name.

The double height ceilings continue into the living room which features a herringbone patterned wood floor, a giant half-wagon wheel like window over a bank of French doors and a corner fireplace with what unfortunately appears to be a massive mirror that stretches from the raw timber mantle all the way up to the ceiling, a decorative detail that is far too Bob Evans for Your Mama and the Dr. Cooters rather delicate sensibilities.

The large gore-may kitchen is all did up and done over in about 49 shades of beige and brown with a beige faux suede paint treatment and the same brown brick-like tiles on the floor as in the entrance hall. A large work island with granite counter tops is surrounded by eveb more granite counter tops and a full suite of Thermador brand appliances. A built in banquet anchors one corner of the room which opens to what listing information calls a "huge family room with full bar and wine storage," features that surely pleased any potential buyers with a penchant for the booze.

Another room, let's call it the "man's room," has a lot of built in mill work cabinetry, a bronze (and pressed tin looking) ceiling and a poker table and four bucket chair things that all looks like it's trying to be something out of a turn of the century gentleman's club. Although we would never devote an entire room to playing poker, if Your Mama's memory serves correct–and it very well may not–Mister Kutcher and several of the other cast members from That 70s Show were major card players back in the early 2000s when poker was all the rage among the Tinseltown set.

The commodious master suite includes high beamed ceiling, a second wood burning fireplace and a private balcony overlooking the back yard. Listing information also shows there are two dressing rooms and two limestone bathrooms, a deluxe convenience that ensures the mistress and master of the house need never shower, dress or evacuate in each others presence.

Although not particularly large, the back yard features a lighted and wind screen wrapped tennis court that also doubles as an outdoor basketball court for pick up games with famous friends. A simple rectangular swimming pool–heated we presume–includes a spa tucked into one corner and is surrounded by what may or may not be blue stone terracing. Although we appreciate the structure that sits between the pool and the tennis court for providing some shade from the scorching southern California sunshine, we're rather disappointed with the execution. Lattice? Really?

As noted by Mister Big Time, this is the very house where back in 2001, a much younger and pre-Demi Mister Kutcher claims he caught those naughty Bush gurls Jenna and Whatshername smoking the wacky tabacky with one of his friends. The White House refused comment, natch, and Mister Kutcher has stuck to his story. Perhaps they didn't inhale?

Information we received from Madam Butterfly shows the house went into escrow just 5 days after being listed on the MLS. However, we suspect (but can not confirm) that the house was quietly shopped around off market for some period of time and was stuck up on the MLS once it looked like a hot buyer had walked through the door.

Previous to living up in the Bev Hills P.O., property records show Mister Kutcher owned a much more modest four bedroom house on N. Vista Street in Hollywood. Or maybe that's West Hollywood. Whatever the case, just down the hill from Runyan Canyon. Now, of course, the Kabbalah devotee shacks up in a gorgeous contemporary crib on celebrity lined Oak Pass Road in the Beverly Hills Post Office with his much older ladee friend Demi Moore and her trio of wanna be famous children Rumor, Tallulah and Scout. Okay. Your Mama doesn't really know if they all want to be famous, but that Rumor one sure does and she is working her nepotistic shit six ways from sideways. For better or worse, it seems to be working.

47 comments:

Anonymous
said...

That Rumer Willis can try all she wants, but she's never going to be famous for being anything but hideously, disturbingly ugly...she got the worst of Demi's & Bruce's faces mashed together into a mug that noone wants to see supersized on a movie screen (or big screen TV for that matter)...it's not her fault, genetics can be cruel, but it nauseates me the way the Hollywood press tries to ignore this sad truth and pretend she's beautiful...she may be beautriful on the inside, but since when has that ever mattered in the world of celebrity, espescially the last 20 years or so?

Talk about that 1970s show! I can't believe this house was renovated last year. Except for the flat screen in the living room, it looks like it hasn't been touched since the 1970s. My eyes are burning. Sorry, I think it's a Tudor turd.

Those "brick" floors make me very dizzy just looking at them (OK, dizzier than normal). Having them wind up the staircase only makes it worse, then add in the "fence" holding up the banister and it's rather nausea inducing. Too much of a good thing can easily turn bad, and too much of a bad thing is, well, those floors.

This place just screams middle-America McMansion to me. It's clearly lacking in charm or style. Blech.

11:19, I hear you. Not feelin' the brown brick floors, front hall staircase handrailings or color, nuttin'. Preppy Pauper, agree with you to an extent also. The kitchen appliances, light fixtures, and bathroom look updated, the rest not at all. Mixed into a faux Tudor theme, it's what you said.

Absolutely perfect! Hard glistening surfaces. A brown barrel ceiling in the game room...no drapes and high ceilings. This is the perfect house for the hot smoker Ashton is and always will be. It will sell fer sure.

yuck. there's a skeevy quality to this place that i just can't put my finger on. however, i think i can almost smell the glade vanilla room 'fresheners', and the junk food being heated up in the microwave. also bedrooms done up by his mother with curtains and polyester duvets from linen's and things. . .

Looks like his "70's Show" money bought him a 70's style house - and not a very good one. The brick-look tile floors are hideous (they even go up the staircase - ick) and look like something you'd find in a Burger King. And ye olde poker room is just stupid. This house has been recently updated?!? In what way exactly? Except for maybe a kitchen facelift and new appliances, I don't see it.

I do like the simplicity of the rectangular pool, however. Not the crap around it - just the pool itself. Actually, the pool surprises me for I don't think it goes with the rest of the house. Maybe he replaced or remodeled it?

Yes, Babe, as a Bruin I can attest to some similarities between ASShton's Deep Canyon manse and a frat house on Gayley. Now, I'll leave it to other creative types to link those wonderful words... Ass/Deep Canyon/Gayley/Frat, but frankly I'm too hung over this morning and too frustrated that my BF has yet to call and confirm our romantic din-din tomorrow night. So, Mama, hope you have an extra TV dinner for me. Anyways, this house is part & parcel of "Mr.Moore." It might as well be on Mars compared to Demi's fabulous pad seen last year in AD. This house hasn't been touched since Deep Canyon was created back in the 70s! This is very much the typical house of (a) young/straight Hollywood star recently transplanted from a mid-western state (b)the nice family of Dr.So-n-So, formerly of some shithole like Fresno/Lancaster/ etc.

A Tudor Turd for a Turd Vendor. All of his shows appeal to the lowest common denominator of society. They are white trash TV at its finest. There is no accounting for taste. Don't like him or his idiot shows and not sure what Demi sees in him. He is no Bruce Willis. Top it all off with poor taste in real estate. This Yak says Yuk!

Did he not attend the of U of Iowa and major in biotechnology, or something similar? I always presumed that he was a normal, bright but very pretty boy who was steered into modeling because of his good looks, and then went on to Hollywood, but his bio in Wikipedia says that he had quite an unhappy youth and much family trouble. Evidently he was "discovered" by a "scout" in a bar. Related to that, has he ever fathered any children, or is he only a step-father?

I hear Ashton is trying to set a relative up with a contractor business. Perhaps the "2008 renovations" are their work. Wonder who has been living in this house since Ashton & Demi have been in the other house for quite a while.

It has actually been two years since Demi & Ashton's house was featured in AD.

But, this is a lot of sqft for the $$$ in Bev Hills. Yeah, it's a big load of crap and it has all the bells and whistles--that's why it sold. C'mon--3.something mil for tennis, pool, 6 beds---you can't even find that in Atlanta.

Every room makes me want to be depressed---I could never imagine taking people thru the inside and promoting my lovely house. Just a house for boys with no taste to smoke weed in and gamble.

"Maybe that is why he sold it. They could be moving to a more private location again. Needs the money for a downpayment"

The house they live in at the moment is absolutely stunning & they carried out a very long renovation [by marmol radziner] i doubt they are moving, besides, the location is really private - it was just the 7am construction noise he was complaining about.