A beleaguered family member posted this intense pre-invitation letter on Reddit.

All of us have known crazy parents like this. There just isn't always physical documentation. There's often digital documentation, in the form of thousands of Facebook posts and pictures, but that's easy enough to block (or go ballistic on). When you see behavior like this written down, however, it's startling.

When you pay attention and parse it, the demands are not that unreasonable. Lots of parents are in a money crunch when they have a newborn, and it doesn't do them any good to get duplicate presents. Still, the bizarre legalese and entitled tone of this letter makes me assume that no matter how nice a "Water Table" this kid gets, he'll need therapy by the time he's in middle school. I'm just surprised his parents didn't include any SAT prep books on the list.

My only wish is that we could see the formal invite from the baby that's coming soon. That should be a gem.