Saturday, 21 January 2017

Feeling like I'm FAILING... As a Mum...

I posted a video a week ago, crying like a big baby at how my 7yr old son treats me, i had an amazing response at how common this really is and how on a daily basics us mums/ parents have to battle with our children, mentally and physically. Ive been on an emotional roller coaster with Alister for a good 6 months now, it comes and goes like most behaviours, we move on and get over it from one week to the next, But again it reoccurs and he has me in tears because i can not handle his behaviour sometimes.

Alister is a very happy bright and loving boy, he loves nothing more than to snuggle and chat with me, however he goes through stages of moods like all of us really and can get rather angry and stubborn and quite spiteful from time to time, some how he seems to be the worst when its my time of the month which is typical since i'll be on edge and rather hormonal that week so can easily snap and not be as patient as i usually am.

Its lovely to hear from all your comments on my video that its rather normal and not just me thinking I'm a crap mum, Some things as a parent we really can't control no matter how well we bring up our children. We really do try to discipline Alister with taking toys away, no after school clubs etc.. but nothing seems to work. I feel like were going in circles half the time, i do nothing but shout somedays which i absolutely hate, i do try to ignore also but sometimes i just have to step in if things get out of hand.

Sometimes giving in and taking the easy life of not battling it out with Alister is the way i deal with his behaviour somedays because i just don't have the energy, i tend to just wind myself up more or i just ring up Graham to come pick him up and take him out to work with him for a few hours.

Alister's worst time is when he comes out of school, i dread everyday whether he's going to be in a good mood to see me or not at those school gates. He seems to always argue and moan as soon as i see him, he usually drops his bags and even runs up the road if we have a disagreement which is terrifying for me. Not only because there are busy roads about but also because I'm trying to keep an eye on Violet walking with me and theres a ton of other children about so it can be quite stressful frantically picking up his school things from the ground to run after him.

Thank you all for your suggestions, we have been talking with Alisters teacher at school and she does seem to think he's happy and doing very well so I'm not sure if thats the problem.

I know its obviously not just him thats the problem, i do think its our communication, I've really stepped back and tried to let him get on with things because like i said I've found it too much to battle anymore, however its has separated us a lot , so as of this week I've tried to just listen more, sit and chat and we've been ready a book together ( a rather thick one ) just to have that quality time together which i really think was missing. Alister has definitely been in need for some attention and maybe because he is 7 i just kind of got in to the habit of letting him do his own thing and not really paying as much attention to him if you know what i mean? When really he's probably needed it the most.

Well of corse nothing changes overnight and he still can have his 'naughty' days like any child but so far this week has been really positive and i just really hope it continues and we can build back our bond.

Feel free to message me if your going through the same thing and you need any advice, although i can't say id be that helpful ha!

I will definitely update you in a few weeks to let you know the progress!