The 8 Stinkiest Spots in Philadelphia (Described With Emojis)

When I first got my cat, a rescue from the streets of Kensington, he wasn’t exactly house-broken. It took five weeks, three Craigslist futon cushions and two rubber sheets before the little dude learned how to properly use the litter box. This is why I am sympathetic to the residents of South Philadelphia who are up in arms over a recent assault on their senses. According to the Passyunk Post, the pervasive aroma of cat urine has been wafting through the streets south of Snyder.

It’s gross — there’s no arguing there.

But is it the stinkiest spot in Philadelphia? There are quite a few contenders for that not-so-highly-coveted crown. Here, I’ve broken down the smelliest place in Philadelphia. And since this is 2014 and this is the Internet, I’ve translated these locations and smells into emojis. (Too bad Philadelphia doesn’t have it’s own emojis yet.)

South of Snyder Street, West of Broad Street

Sansom Street between Broad and 13th streets

What it can smell like: The block, which is unrelatedly best known as home to Chris’ Jazz Cafe and Time, can smell of sewage and Dumpsters.

When it’s the stinkiest: Though this location inexplicably reeks all year round, it is most noticeable in the mornings before trash day.

Emoji description:

The Broad Street Line

What it can smell like:Sweat, urine and fried food.

When it’s the stinkiest: Although sweat is arguably the least offensive smell on the above list, riding the Broad Street Line after the Broad Street Run is one of the most horrifying situations a human being can endure. There is not enough deodorant in the world to mask that stench. (Related reading: 10 Commandments of Riding SEPTA in a Heat Wave.)

Emoji description:

Race Street between Ninth and 11th

What it can smell like: Though other parts of Chinatown, due to a preponderance of restaurants and resultant food trash, can occasionally get a little, ahem, fragrant, these particular blocks smell of fish.

When it’s the stinkiest: All day, err’day.

Emoji description:

19th and Fairmount

What it can smell like: There’s no classy was to say this. This location — or any other spot in the city with Pyrus calleryana trees — smells like, well, sex.

When it’s the stinkiest: Springtime. It’s for Hitler, Germany, and the ickiest plants in the world.

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