Satirical & Poetic Musings Of A Self-Proclaimed Nobel Prize Winner

I actually had another white guy tell me today that financially stable conservative (of which I am neither, BTW) white guys are the biggest minority group in America and the most maliciously maligned. My response was to say I really could give a mother fuckin’ squirt of Bantha fodder about that, even if it is true. What fucking arrogance and conceit! Now I’m ANGRY!!! And when I get angry, “HULK SMASH!!”

White Guy Who’s Had Enough Of White Guys And Their Whiny Ass Bullshit

Let me make something very clear about my feelings on this topic: If you are a white guy who has or will receive property, a trust fund, a college education paid for by the folks, or any other mother fucking such gift that you did NOTHING to earn yourself, and expect me or anyone else to listen to your tales of woe, FUCK YOU!! And just In case you don’t get my drift, I’ll write that again, FUCK YOU. If you can’t at least appreciate that who we are born to is totally a random event, and that you got a good roll of Fortune’s dice, then you can suck my hand-to-mouth livin’ white ass. Most maligned minority group in America. Man, I am really fuckin’ pissed at white guys!!!

What is really a pisser? Yeah, those white guys don’t realize that they’re privileged. See, they think that a privilege is a right. And when it’s pointed out to them that it’s not, well then let the whining begin. How dare anyone suggest that being white, having money, and a penis doesn’t afford them anything special?!?

I have a cousin who was in the Army. He did serve in Iraq on two tours of duty. But, my lawd, what a twisted up sense of logic and justice he has. He constantly whines because his Army time didn’t set him up with any “real world” skills so he can’t get a job. And when he does apply for a job he expects special consideration because he served. Recently he went on a tirade about how the Post Office owed him a job because they’re supposed to hire veterans first and they passed over him to hire someone who isn’t a veteran.

Could it possibly be your suck-ass attitude? Nah, that’s got nothin’ attall to do with it.

As a vet, he doesn’t fit my definition of a privileged white guy. Few privileged white guys sign up for the armed forces, some perhaps, but not most. Vets get a shit deal when they come back. I know a lot of them. You get trained to kill on command; see people you know and care about killed; and then are expected to come back and fit in with those who have no idea what you’ve lived through. Anyone who thinks that’s easy can sign up for the army and experience it themselves. It’s a choice anyone can make. It isn’t a choice to be born into a well-to-do family as a white male and have stuff neatly handed to you your whole life. To be such a person and not see just how fucking lucky you are is narcissistic horseshit. It isn’t a bad thing to be well off but it is a bad thing to feel superior and better than those not as fortunate as you just because you are. It’s all up to chance. Though many conservatives I’ve met talk as if their will power is so strong they actually believe they had something to do with who they were born to. Those kinds of white guys piss me off. Just fucking appreciate your good fortune and shut up. Go easy on your cousin. Whatever he’s experienced in his 2 tours are things I pray I’ll never have to see. They’d most definitely fuck me up. Bad.

Mmm…likely you’re right about my cousin, though he didn’t see any combat. That doesn’t mean he didn’t see bad things. That doesn’t mean he had it easy. He’s pretty messed up but I don’t know if the Army did that to him or if life did.

I think there are varying degrees of assumed privilege and I agree that the silver-spoon variety is particularly nauseating.

It’s those who don’t see their privilege that get to me. My friend particularly pissed me off as he stated white upper middle class males are the MOST maligned group of people in the country. Really? Fuck you is the only response I have to that. Anyway, it’s quite often folks with certain “issues” already who sign up for the armed forces. Folks who are extremely well adjusted and doing ok generally don’t think getting shot at or killed in a foreign land is a sensible choice to make for themselves. It seems horrible to me and I’m not even remotely adjusted to anything except my non-adjustment to things. I actually know very little about anything and I’m damn proud of it. So proud of it in fact, I ike to pontificate about it. Hee Haw! 😀

He felt like blacks, Hispanics and other minority groups are the true privileged groups and that the government hand feeds them with medicare, food stamps etc. He feels he’s persecuted as a Christian cause atheists exist and hate them. I guess the tax exempt status religions get and all the other ass kissing religious folk get, Christians especially, go by unnoticed by him. He feels picked on cause his privileges are questioned I guess. I didn’t say fuck you to him. I said it here knowing he’d read it. That pisses him off more than anything else, and it makes me feel good cause I’m petty that way.

Yeah, those pesky blacks and Hispanics…they get all the privileges handed to them. Because, you know, they all get government hand-outs. And they get them because they’re blacks and Hispanics.

Hell, they’re so privileged they get told what they can and can’t own.

I have a white female privileged friend who has said much the same thing. What she actually said was, “Maybe I should just quit my job and draw welfare and get food stamps.” To which I replied, “You go right on and do that. Me? I like to have enough money to pay a mortgage on a house that will one day be mine and a car payment on a car that will too. And have enough, hopefully, left over to go on a little vacay every now and again. I’ll keep my job, thanks.”

Good for you! “I should quit my job and go on welfare.” Yeah. Like she’s actually ever REALLY gonna do that. Oh. I tell yah! Bang! Zoom! One ‘a these days, Alice! One ‘a these days! POW! Right in the kisser!

I just realized there are about a 100 of your posts I haven’t read yet…seeing as I don’t like reading books, I’ll be spending my free time (of which I have a lot, because I am very very white) catching up on your writing…Must say your first post really sets the tone of what’s to come very well!