Kevin Hart elected to provide merrymaking at MTV's annual bestowing of awards upon musical videos

Topical mirth to be enjoyed by shrill, wailing youth

Following a year in which it abandoned its search to find someone who could solidify the pop culture ephemera of the moment into poignant punchlines, capturing the zeitgeist like fizzing time in a bottle, MTV has more optimistically selected comedian Kevin Hart to host this year's MTV Video Music Awards and dazzle with his skewed take on topical trends and sensibilities. "Mr. Hart's effervescent comic energy should prove a formidable match for our audience's youthful exuberance, which tends to express itself in the most invigorating screaming of variations on 'I love you!' in a sustained, three-hour screech of pent-up hormonal aggression," the network's doyenne of vaudevillian arts, Lady Julie Brown-Wubbawubbington said in a statement, adding, "In my heart, I secretly hope that Mr. Hart has the most delightful digression about the ubiquity of Carly Rae Jepsen's 'Call Me Maybe.'"

MTV has also provided the below preview of Hart's repertoire, in which he playfully tweaks newly coronated couple Kanye West and Kim Kardashian before boldly satirizing America's race relations—though to get the full effect of what to expect, you should play it while shrieking as though tumbling headlong into infinite darkness.