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Mighty Jacksparrow is an Earth-based sub-intergalactic blogger who enjoys writing and in the same time entertaining his ever-amusing will-kill-to-read fans with sensationally hilarious and at times dramatic musings. This blog offers endless ideas and results; they might be charming most of the times but could be offending in some others. Therefore, it is always noble to remind that if you enjoy the pieces, carry on reading, but if they upset you, do quietly leave like the evening breeze and not like exploding diarrhea, which exactly what you will look like if you ever lose it on me. Enjoy! :D

Monday, November 09, 2009

This Has Got To Be A Joke

Fine Saturday morning.

The sun somehow was a little shy to come out, but that didn't mean this day could not be anymore beautiful.

I prepared myself for work and went to the office, despite the off-day all of us are having on every Saturday. There were a lot of works to do and I was running out of time. The weather was soon to reside to a bloody downpour, I softly predicted, so I brought along my jacket and a couple of shirts, just in case.

The office was all empty when I put my foot into. The only audible sound was that of dripping drops of water from last night's rain, hitting the zinc roof next to the office block. I sat down on my chair and started to work on what I have left since the day before - a solid three-hundred pages worth of reports and whatnot for review, and a handful of one-inch thick amount of test papers needed to be marked.

After three booklets of reports, I decided that I could't take it anymore. "This has got to be a joke," I said to myself while looking frustratingly at the piles of documents on my right-hand side of the table.

I did some rough calculations on my chair that lovely evening, and the next thing I knew I was on the way back to KL.

* * *

I reached KL at around 4.00pm in the afternoon.

It was raining quite heavily so I decided to get back as early to home where the heart belongs. My mom texted me on the mobile asking if I at anytime will be back in KL in the incoming future. Well I replied, 'maybe.' For the record, it had been many weeks since I last went back to KL, and it seemed that mom was pretty concerned about this.

But I have my reasons why I avoided KL at all cost. At all cost.

When I appeared in front of the house with my wet jacket and that sad look on my face, my mom was sitting on the settee reading a newspaper. Upon noticing me standing in front of the door -without making a sound at all - she lowered the newspaper, stared at me for some seconds, before decided to put on her glass and took another look at what appeared to be a real stranger to her that time. With that amazed look, she said:

"This has got to be a joke."

* * *

"Sit here," my dad said, "we need to talk."

"About what?"

"Some stuffs, I'd say."

"What sort of stuffs?" I was drinking a glass of chilled orange juice at this very second.

"Do you know that Dato' whose house situated over there? "

"There where?"

"There."

"Oh there. Go on." I sipped my orange slowly.

"He has a daughter, you see," my dad said casually. "She's getting married," he continued, "or at least her parents decided it is time for her to."

"Well that's good," I replied, also casually. " Why would I bother anyway? It's just another wedding. All they're gonna do was to invite me and the family for the reception.

"Who's the guy anyway? Some big shot, something?"

My dad looked at me, with that fishy grin on his face. He only did that when there was something fishy to happen, so it was safe to assume that there was something fishy about to happen.

And then the fishy thing happened.

"It's you," he said. "They wanted you."

For a moment there, I felt like I was choking on an alive tuna the size of my leg down my throat. You know tuna, right? I am not talking about tiny sardine here. It was tuna. And it was there, there down my throat, struggling to make way to either of the two ways it had as options - backward of forward - either will bring doom to the unfortunate creature. But I was the most unfortunate one - I was the one with it stuck down my throat.

"They want me?" I said in the most terrified voice ever imaginable. My face looked like a small child who accidentally looks at something that destroys his innocence forever in the most horrifying way.

"Yep," my dad said. "But they were not the only family who came."

"My," I said in disbelief, "this has got to be a joke."

* * *

There were two families who came at the time the heat of Eidul Fitr was still lingering.

My mom described about the girl - the one that is from the family of the Dato. It came to picture that my mom and her mom are best friends, many thanks to my mom's heavy involvement with the Wanita movement in our neighborhood area, where this Dato' is one of the most influential person in the territory.

And it has occurred that the Datin was keeping her eyes on me during and since the trip to Bukit Tinggi and Padang sometime in April this year.

And it has occurred too, that the Datin's daughter - the one to be paired with me - is, my God, hell of a beauty queen. She is the sort of thing that men will have war among each other just to make an appearance in front of her. But this was the question in my mind: if she was that goddess, then why the hell choose to end up with a wreck like me anyway?

It was told that she, the girl, agreed to be with me, rather cheerfully.

"But that's only the first girl," my mom said. "There's a second."

"Hm," I replied, rather confusingly.

"Who's the second?" I asked my mom.

"Well," my mom said, "you can find her in UTP."

The second time around I had that feelings of a tuna struggling down my throat. This time, it went the other way from the way it went earlier.

"Oh come on!" I protested. "This has got to really be a joke!"

* * *

And here I am on my chair, back in UTP, entirely confused by the world.

Someone please clear my mind off from all these things.

p/s: MU lost to Chelsea. Hm. *lost it already* you what thefff la weyy?!! what are all these?! This better be just a joke! COME ON!!