Letting Go

I recently came across this great articleby Mary Darling Montero on the subject of "Letting Go". I've been having trouble with this off and on through the Divorce process, and I'm sure that's par for the course when you have to disentangle yourself from the life you used to share with someone else.

You really have to learn, more than anything, to let go of what you cannot control. Otherwise, it'll eat you alive. Trust me on this one.

I used to worry endlessly about whether the kids were being nurtured on their weekends and occasional weeknights with Peter. Not that he's a bad Dad, he's just not as in-your-face attentive as I am, and he has a temper that can be ridiculous at times. If he came to pick them up and his mood was sour, I layed awake all night, worrying.

I worry that something will happen at work, that I'll get laid off. My company is doing well, but I worry anyway. If I lose my job, we lose the house. I worry that someone will figure out that my executive husband is sleeping with his executive coworker. If Peter loses his job and we lose that support check, we lose the house. I worry that by divorcing, I've increased my children's risk of having a stroke, for Pete's sake!

Sooner or later, you have to accept that there are things you cannot change at all, and things you cannot change without making things worse. Once you identify those things, and release them, it makes finding the good in your life a whole lot easier.

What did you need to let go of? How did you manage it, and how did it change your life?

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