Author
Topic: Saints (Read 1218 times)

Oh Blessed St. PetrovPatron of Keeping Your CoolWho did not push the Shiny Red ButtonNo matter what protocol saidWe beseech you, help us to breathe

You did not falter when the lights were blinkingAnd the soldiers were panickingAnd the sirens blaredThe end of the world was at your fingertipsAnd you left it there

Oh Blessed St PetrovLet us follow in your footstepsLet us refrain from burning the house downAt the whim of petty dramaOr malfunctioning technology

Oh Blessed St PetrovLet us remain bipedalIn moments of crisis and desperationLet us consider what is likelyRather than what is frighteningLet us choose the path of uncertainty and reprimandsOver certain catastrophe

Oh Blessed St PetrovAverter of ApocalypseLet us not romanticize the collapse of civilizationLet us value the world You preserved for our sakes

Oh Blessed St PetrovHear our prayer

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Oh Blessed St SchollPatroness of ActivistsYou who died in DefianceAnd regretted nothingYours is the immortality of legend

Grant us the courage nowTo see evil and fight itWith the tools we have availableAnd within our abilityRemind us that neither youthNor old age is an excuseFor inaction

Oh Blessed St SchollLet us take up our spraypaintLet us print out our flyersAnd stockpile stampsLet us stand with you foreverAt the barrel of the gun

Oh Blessed St SchollThey took your headBut they cannot take your memoryLet us see clearly through their propagandaAnd counter it with our own

Oh Blessed St SchollLet us remember alwaysThat fascists are killed with bulletsAnd fascism is killed with pamphletsLet us never use one when the other is neededLet us never diminish either frontIn the never ending warOn creeping evil

Deliver us from CowardiceDeliver us from ApathyOh Blessed St SchollHear our prayer

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This is fucking amazing and why don't we have a proper prayer book like those other fuckers?

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" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Oh Blessed St Ea-NasirFather of the Shysters Whose hate mail survived the centuriesYours is the immortality of assholes

Of Blessed St Ea-NasirChampion of the dickholesYou sold the wrong grade of copperAnd cheated others in real estate dealsYou saved the clay complaintsIn your little Babylonian homeAnd their survival is how we know your name

Oh Blessed St Ea-NasirLet us always rememberThere is more than one way to skin a cat That in a time of kings and conquestEven the common folk can be immortalizedThrough unconventional dickery

Let us always rememberThat life is short, and always has beenThat we will die as certainly as our foesAnd the memory of our soulsIs not tied to our virtue

Oh Blessed St Ea-NasirYou never met a turnstile in your lifeLet us gum them up in your nameLet us cherish our hatersLet us bathe in their wrathLet us stockpile the complaintsAgainst our shortcomingsAnd our malice

Let us do something worth rememberingEven if we are not remembered wellOh Blessed St Ea-NasirHear our prayer

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Overheating Pheremone Pustule of Last Saturday's Jiggle Fun| _xgeWireToEvent: Unknown extension 131, this should never happen.

Before writing this one I took some time to dig into whether or not "shyster" has similar racist origins to "gypped." It does not, although this is a common enough question that the New York Law Journal saw fit to address the issue. It most likely comes back to the German word for shit.

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Thanks for doing research! I had thought it was adopted as antisemetic slang, but that might have been an urban legend.

It's possible assholes are using it as a dog whistle. Some folks erroneously think it's derived from the character Shylock from the Merchant of Venice, but a) that makes no sense in the context of the play and b) there's no etymological trail leading that way.

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Shyster started out as slang for a crook, then for lawyers, then eventually of course it was stapled onto Jews.

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" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

If it's prevalent as an anti-Semitic thing now I'm totally open to replacing it.

I think it's primarily viewed as the first two meanings, but ymmv.

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" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."- TGRR, raising the bar at work.