“On the gay cowboys eating pudding movie, you better go see it or it means you are a homophobic bigot. You aren’t a bigot are you? That at least seems to me the angle that the marketing of the movie is taking. Mainstreaming homosexuality by shaming you into supporting it. If that ain’t American, I don’t know what is. Heh.”

So she said, “would it kill him to be nicer?” And then I had a thought: maybe he has some weird genetic disease where he needs to be mean in order to live, like being mean recharges his mana or something like that. It would make for an awkward conversation if it came up. You’d be like “hey asshole, would it kill you to be nice every once in a while?” and he would simply say “yes…yes it would.” It would be kind of hard to blame the guy then, wouldn’t it? Sure it sucks to be mean, hell they even made a bumper sticker that says “mean people suck” as if we need to know that obvious sentiment from the rear of an automobile, but choosing between death and being nice isn’t much of choice. So next time somebody is really mean to you, maybe you can just think that they must have that rare genetic disorder where their meanness is their only way to stave off death. At least it would easier to forgive people, if only sometimes.