Mittwoch, 30. April 2014

An Open Letter of Admiration to Boogie2988

I wanted to write such a letter since quite a while back but always ended up pushing it further into the future.
One of the reasons, why I was able to do so in the first place, is you, Steve.

I never was what anyone would call a happy person, but for the past couple of years I suffered from a severe depression. My girlfriend got raped and dumped me later on, because I couldn't deal with it. I still don't know who it did. Hell, now I'm not even sure if it actually happened.
Anyway, everything just got fucked up from then on. She wanted to have nothing to do with it at all, simply forget about it and move on, I sought for revenge and just wouldn't let go. I turned against each and every one who tried to help me. I just couldn't consider it help back then, instead I got more and more offended by their attempts to make me move on from things. We started avoiding each other, which resulted in a total isolation of myself. Eventually, I quit my job and didn't leave my apartment until it was absolutely necessary. Haunted by nightmares, driven by hate, anger, sadness and desperation, the internet and alcoholism became my only "friends". I think that I don't need to mention the myriad of suicidal thoughts.
I'm past that now.
I found a way to move on.You, Mr. Williams, are one of the merchants that got me to buy more time, until I would finally be able to get my ass back up again and take a head-on shot at life again.
I enjoy (most of) your videos, disregarding if you are "talking business" as Jessy or raging all over the place as Francis. But for a certain period of time your videos offered me guidance to a direction which I didn't know existed. You showed that you didn't just talk about depression, grief, getting back up, getting stronger and getting better - you lived this shit and are still living it. Although I suffered from a different cause of my problems, you inspired me. And when you didn't inspire me, your videos and live streams at least helped to pass the time. ^^
I needed that time to think.Thank you.
Now I'm about to get a new job and improve myself, because the old me sucked. I even got my teeth fixed. :D
It's not like I'm a whole new person already, but I'm doing my best to try and become one. It's far from easy and it will take time, but I haven't failed as long as I continue trying.
And you, sir, are a one of the reasons why I want to continue. You're personal hero of mine and I really hope to meet you in person one day. In my eyes you're the personification of "it does get better." And it really does. All we have to do is to really want it and to do our part to make it so. But it doesn't happen over night, so, "Patience, young Jedis.";)Because you'll never know what it all can be good for, unless you see it through to the end.

So, what I wanted to say was just, "Thank you," again, and the best of luck from me to you and your beautiful and overall awesome wife, Dez. :)