]]>Some bigshot Democratic donors who supported Barack Obama have declined to wade into the primary race as they await a decision from Joe Biden. Others, however, are beginning to throw their support behind Beto O'Rourke, aka the "White Obama."

CNBC reports that investment honcho Mark Gallogly, the co-founder of Centerbridge Partners who helped raised more than $700,000 for Obama's two presidential campaigns, is preparing to back Beto in 2020. Gallogly was a max donor to O'Rourke's failed Senate campaign against Ted Cruz, though he also donated to rival candidates Cory Booker and Kirsten Gillibrand.

Gallogly is joined by Louis Susman, an investment manager and former banking executive who raised enough money for Obama in 2008 (at least $500,000) to be named his ambassador to the United Kingdom. Before O'Rourke even announced his candidacy, Susman, who is married to Goldman Sachs scion Marjorie Sachs, was reportedly reaching out to other wealthy Democratic donors to gauge their interest in the candidate. Susman was also a max donor to O'Rourke's failed Senate bid.

O'Rourke, who raised nearly $80 million for his campaign against Cruz in 2018, is already off to a strong financial start, raising $6.1 million in the first 24 hours after announcing his candidacy, narrowly besting fundraising juggernaut Bernie Sanders' total of $6 million.

With a Joe Biden candidacy looking increasingly likely, the race is on to secure backing from Obama's most prolific fundraisers. Obama himself will be faced with a difficult choice—whether or not to endorse the man who served as his vice president for eight years, a move that would likely persuade a number of those wealthy donors to line up behind Uncle Joe.

]]>https://freebeacon.com/politics/obama-bundlers-beto/feed/0The Democratic Party’s War on ‘Norms’https://freebeacon.com/blog/democrats-against-norms/
Wed, 20 Mar 2019 17:01:41 +0000https://freebeacon.com/?post_type=blog&p=1140199Most Democrats think Donald Trump's presidency is a critical threat to American democracy. One oft-cited reason is Trump's reckless disregard for institutional "norms"—written and unwritten precedents that have long governed the way our democracy operates.

]]>Most Democrats think Donald Trump's presidency is a critical threat to American democracy. One oft-cited reason is Trump's reckless disregard for institutional "norms"—written and unwritten precedents that have long governed the way our democracy operates.

As one public intellectual recently said of Trump: "Violating norms is what he does." He still hasn't released his tax returns. He implied during the 2016 campaign that he wouldn't accept the results of the election if he lost. He declared a "national emergency" to fund his border wall.

Many of the norms Trump is accused of violating are behavioral, rather than structural. He watches too much television. He tweets like an angsty tween. He attacks the "fake news media," calls reporters "the enemy of people," and tried to revoke Jim Acosta's press credentials. He lashes out at deceased veterans, his employees' spouses, and the people investigating his administration. He tells lies the way a normal person does—without the dignified obfuscation and plausible deniability that have long governed the way our politicians are supposed to lie.

On the one hand, Democrats have made "restoring norms" a cornerstone of their campaign to remove Trump from office. On the other, the party's presidential hopefuls are rapidly lining up behind radical changes to long-established structural norms that they believe would help them enact their agendas. When it comes to seizing and holding power, Democrats appear all too ready to scuttle the norms that stand in their way.

Elizabeth Warren, for example, recently proposed eliminating the electoral college a centuries-old precedent—to boisterous applause. Other Democratic candidates have jumped on the bandwagon. Pete Buttigieg agreed: "It's gotta go." Beto O'Rourke said getting rid of the electoral college was "something that we should seriously consider." Former Attorney General Eric Holder is also on board, as is Washington Governor Jay Inslee.

Abolish the Electoral College. Have the direct vote of the people choose the President. To ensure national support – if one candidate doesn’t get 50% of the vote have a runoff 4 weeks after the election between the top two vote recipients. More fair. Better for true democracy.

It's not a new idea. It tends to happen when Democrats lose. It's what Al Gore supporters said back in 2008; same goes for Hillary Clinton supporters in 2016. They probably wouldn't be making the argument so loudly if Hillary had lost the popular vote. Only dark horse Democratic candidate Andrew Yang has defended the electoral college. Predictably, Yang was "dragged" and "dunked on" by aggrieved social media users making thoughtful rebuttals. For example:

What's more, for all the fuss about Trump's hypothetical refusal to accept the results of the election if he lost, Hillary continues to leave the door open to challenging the legitimacy of Trump's victory. Meanwhile, potential 2020 candidate Stacy Abrams insists she won the Georgia gubernatorial race. (She didn't.)

Then there's the issue of "court packing"—expanding the Supreme Court to make room for more liberals justices, premised on the idea that Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanuagh (and whoever Trump nominates to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg) were illegitimately installed. Warren, Buttigieg, and O'Rourke are open to the idea, as are Kamala Harris and Kirsten Gillibrand—Eric Holder, too, for what it's worth. Some Democrats are keen to see court packing become a litmus test issue for 2020 candidates.

There is no longer any debate about whether Democrats must reform the Supreme Court. The only discussion is about the how. Term limits are a good step but we also must expand the Court's size.https://t.co/mbimN2zT3E

The same goes for abolishing the filibuster in the Senate to ease the passage of legislation by simple majority. Democratic activists are especially enthusiastic about getting rid of the filibuster, because they (rightly) realize that as long as it remains in place, enacting transformative policies like the Green New Deal will be impossible.

But it's clear which side of the issue has the most enthusiasm. For example, the "Pod Save America" bros were pretty excited when Sen. Cory Booker softened his previous defense of the filibuster by saying "that door isn't closed" when it comes to abolishing the procedure.

These certainly aren't the only institutional norms and constitutional provisions Democrats would like to "update." The sorts of structural changes they are proposing would, it would seem, have far more significant consequences than Donald Trump's norm-violating "tone." But having a president who says nicer things about journalists won't give the Democratic Party more power than it already has.

]]>Report: O’Rourke Torments His Wife With ‘Psycho’-Style Shower Scares, Pranks Her With Child Feceshttps://freebeacon.com/politics/report-beto-orourke-torments-his-wife-with-psycho-style-shower-scares-pranks-her-with-child-feces/
https://freebeacon.com/politics/report-beto-orourke-torments-his-wife-with-psycho-style-shower-scares-pranks-her-with-child-feces/#respondTue, 19 Mar 2019 19:25:33 +0000https://freebeacon.com/?p=1140100Beto O'Rourke is quite the prankster, according to a recent profile in the Washington Post. The former congressman and failed Senate candidate proposed to his wife on April Fool's Day, for example.

]]>Beto O'Rourke is quite the prankster, according to a recent profile in the Washington Post. The former congressman and failed Senate candidate proposed to his wife on April Fool's Day, for example. His wife, Amy, found it appropriate, given his "impulsive and puckish" nature, which according the Post compels O'Rourke to dabble in all sorts of zany hijinks around the house—from reenacting famous scenes from horror films, to using his children's excrement as a prop to "prank" his wife:

And then there were the pranks: the remote-controlled cockroach in the kitchen, the "Psycho"-style scares in the shower. One time, according to a friend, Beto collected an especially verdant turd from one of their kids’ diapers and put it in a bowl, telling Amy it was avocado. (Neither would confirm this, though Beto did allow it sounded like something he’d do.)

Beto's relationship with his wife has been the subject of much consternation in the press. Even the New York Times was alarmed by his bizarre campaign announcement video, in which Amy watched in silence as he delivered a rambling, three-and-a-half minute stump speech from their living room sofa.

Since then, O'Rourke has had to apologize for making numerous jokes about being an absentee father—how Amy has been raising their children "sometimes with my help." Among other things, O'Rourke's seemingly flippant remarks about his wife and his role as a father have triggered complaints about his "male privilege."

O'Rourke received similar criticisms following his loss to Ted Cruz in 2018, when he embarked on a solo road trip to "find himself" while Amy stayed home with the kids. But he defended his actions in the interview with the Post. "Absolutely, as a white man, there is so much privilege built into that," he said. "But to the question of whether only Beto O’Rourke could take this road trip. … I just knew I needed to do it."

]]>https://freebeacon.com/politics/report-beto-orourke-torments-his-wife-with-psycho-style-shower-scares-pranks-her-with-child-feces/feed/02020 Candidates as March Madness Mascotshttps://freebeacon.com/blog/march-madness-democrats/
Tue, 19 Mar 2019 17:21:08 +0000https://freebeacon.com/?post_type=blog&p=1139815March Madness is upon us. Unfortunately, so is the Democratic primary. Both are tournaments of sorts, involving lots of drama and heartache, casts of colorful characters, and tedious commentary. Both involve varying degrees of capitalism and meritocracy. Neither March Madness nor the Democratic primary are very important, in the grand scheme of things, because we ...

]]>March Madness is upon us. Unfortunately, so is the Democratic primary. Both are tournaments of sorts, involving lots of drama and heartache, casts of colorful characters, and tedious commentary. Both involve varying degrees of capitalism and meritocracy. Neither March Madness nor the Democratic primary are very important, in the grand scheme of things, because we already know the outcome. Duke is going to win, and Donald Trump will be president in 2021.

Unlike the Democratic primary, each participant in the NCAA tournament has its own mascot. In fact, one of the more successful strategies for winning your office March Madness pool is to always pick the team with the most interesting mascot. This year's tournament field is littered with charismatic mascottery, raising an interesting question: Which NCAA mascot would best represent the 2020 Democratic candidates?

Bernie Sanders — Red Raider (Texas Tech)

Kamala Harris — Aggie / Sheriff (New Mexico State)

Pete Buttigieg — Golden Gopher (Minnesota)

Elizabeth Warren — Seminole (Florida State)

Beto O'Rourke — Gael / White Knight / Beefcake (St. Mary's)

Amy Klobuchar — Blue Devil (Duke)

Joe Biden — Kaboom! the Gargoyle (Bradley)

The Democratic Party

Donald Trump — Otto the Orange (Syracuse)

]]>Polls: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Less Popular Than Trump, Hillaryhttps://freebeacon.com/politics/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-not-so-hot-right-now/
https://freebeacon.com/politics/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-not-so-hot-right-now/#respondMon, 18 Mar 2019 19:30:21 +0000https://freebeacon.com/?p=1139167Celebrity freshman congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D., N.Y.) is not as popular as her many social media admirers would like to believe. In fact, recent polling suggests that AOC is pretty widely despised, even in her home state, and even within her party.

]]>Celebrity freshman congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D., N.Y.) is not as popular as her many social media admirers would like to believe. In fact, recent polling suggests that AOC is pretty widely despised, even in her home state, and even within her party.

A March 15 Gallup poll, for example, found that just 31 percent of Americans view Ocasio-Cortez favorably, compared to 41 percent who view her unfavorably. It appears that as more people have gotten to know the congresswoman, the less they like her. The last time Gallup surveyed AOC's favorable rating was back in September 2018, prior to her election to Congress, when 50 percent of respondents had no opinion or had never heard of her. That number has shrunk to just 29 percent over the past several months as the congresswoman has aggressively made a name for herself on Capitol Hill.

Gallup's finding are in line with those of a Fox News poll of registered voters conducted in February, which found that Ocasio-Cortez had a favorable rating of just 26 percent, and an unfavorable rating of 39 percent (-13). In that poll, 34 percent of respondents didn't offer an opinion or said they'd never heard of AOC. Respondents had a slightly better view of President Donald Trump, who had a favorable rating of 43 percent, and an unfavorable rating of 54 percent (-11). Ocasio-Cortez did, however, perform better than Socialism, which had a favorable rating of just 25 percent, and an unfavorable rating of 59 percent (-34).

The latest Gallup survey on Hillary Clinton's popularity, from September 2018, found the twice failed presidential candidate was viewed more favorably than Ocasio-Cortez. Clinton's favorable rating was just 36 percent, a record low for HRC, but still better than AOC's most recent number.

Additional polling from Ocasio-Cortez's home state of New York offers a similarly grim assessment of the congresswoman's popularity. Not only is she the among the least favored high-profile New York politician, AOC also has a 30 percent unfavorable rating among New York Democrats, and a favorable rating that fails to crack 50 percent.

what's remarkable is that AOC widely disliked within her own party (among New Yorkers):

The poll, conducted by the Siena College Research Institute in March, also found that large majorities of New York residents favored Amazon's now scuttled plan to open a second headquarters in Queens, and thought that Amazon's decision to abandon the project—thanks in no small part to Ocasio-Cortez's aggressive opposition—would be bad for New York. Respondents placed the most blame for the Amazon project's failure on AOC—38 percent labeled her a "villain" in the saga, while just 12 percent regarded her as a "hero."

]]>https://freebeacon.com/politics/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-not-so-hot-right-now/feed/0Pod Save America Bros: ‘Openly Hostile’ National Media ‘Lost Its Mind’ by Criticizing Beto O’Rourkehttps://freebeacon.com/politics/beto-save-america/
https://freebeacon.com/politics/beto-save-america/#respondMon, 18 Mar 2019 18:02:13 +0000https://freebeacon.com/?p=1138870The "Pod Save America" bros are at it again. In addition to hosting a podcast in which they discuss the most epic tweets of the week and endeavor to answer the question "Is Donald Trump bad?" the bros are also co-executive producers of the HBO documentary "Running With Beto," a film that chronicles presidential hopeful Beto O'Rourke's failed 2018 Senate race against Ted Cruz.

]]>The "Pod Save America" bros are at it again. In addition to hosting a podcast in which they discuss the most epic tweets of the week and endeavor to answer the question "Is Donald Trump bad?" the bros are also co-executive producers of the HBO documentary "Running With Beto," a film that chronicles presidential hopeful Beto O'Rourke's failed 2018 Senate race against Ted Cruz.

As some have already pointed out, this is an "interesting situation" for the bros—former Obama aides Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, and Tommy Vietor—who regularly comment on the Democratic primary and interview candidates on their pod.

for those who may not know what this refers to: in other words, the Pod Save America hosts and their company have a financial stake in generating attention and positive campaign movement to @BetoORourke, for the sake of how well this movie does pic.twitter.com/SBsw7rppMs

On the most recent episode of "Lovett or Leave It," host Jon Lovett made a jab at critics of the situation by referring to O'Rourke as "supposedly our best friend" during a discussion about the launch of Beto's campaign. Favreau, on the other hand, took the opportunity to lash out at Beto's critics in the national press, a sacred institution that is typically only questioned by those who abhor free speech and democracy.

Favreau, a.k.a. "Favs," acknowledged that Beto's candidacy is facing "very legitimate questions," especially given the former congressman and failed Senate candidate's limited resume, but he took issue with some of Beto's press coverage.

"The national media has sort of lost its mind a little bit," Favreau said with passion. "Like, first of all there's, like, road block coverage—he's getting a lot more coverage than other people. But then there's, like, a lot of reporters who are just, like, openly hostile for, like, reasons that are not, like … some of the stuff on Twitter has just been, holy shit!"

]]>https://freebeacon.com/politics/beto-save-america/feed/0Beto O’Rourke Stayed Up All Night Partying, But Decided to Run for President Anywayhttps://freebeacon.com/blog/beto-white-male-privilege/
Mon, 18 Mar 2019 14:57:07 +0000https://freebeacon.com/?post_type=blog&p=1138744Beto O'Rourke launched his presidential campaign with all the grace and apparent preparation of a college student who stayed up all night before a big exam getting drunk at a Guided By Voices cover band concert.

]]>Beto O'Rourke launched his presidential campaign with all the grace and apparent preparation of a college student who stayed up all night before a big exam getting drunk at a Guided By Voices cover band concert.

Beto's big pre-announcement tease, a friendly cover story in Vanity Fair, included a number of irritating quotes — "I'm just born to be in it," for example. He has already disavowed and clarified the comment, which many saw as an overtly "privileged" justification for his candidacy. (More on that later.)

From Wisconsin—-> Beto O'Rourke on his "just born to be in it" quote on VF cover: "I was like, ‘Man, I hope I didn’t say that.’ … I think the context of that which makes sense is the way that I feel is that I’m born to serve, I’m born to try to help bring people together." pic.twitter.com/r8eEOlLsuH

Beto's announcement video got a lot of attention, but probably not for the reasons he intended — a flailing three-minute stump speech delivered from his living room couch, seated next to his wife, who didn't say a word and struggled to come across as anything besides a terrified hostage. The New York Times took note:

What about fundraising? Beto, who raised almost $80 million during his failed Senate campaign against Ted Cruz, urged supporters in a campaign announcement email to open their wallets because "What we raise in the first 24 hours will set the tone in the national conversation about the viability of our campaign. Several days later, the campaign still hadn't released those crucial figures, and Beto is struggling to explain why. On Monday morning, the campaign announced it raised more than Bernie had in its first 24 hours, which is pretty, pretty good.

in Washington, Iowa, @BetoORourke is asked again on whether he will be releasing his fundraising numbers for what's come in since he launched. "I can't," he said. You could, I pointed out. "You're right – I choose not to," he said.

Doesn't exactly inspire a lot of confidence — nor does the fact that Beto's campaign thus far consists almost entirely of vague bromides, usually an appeal to "have a conversation." No bold proposals to imprison billionaires a la Elizabeth Warren. His few actual policy positions appear to have been plagiarized — lifted directly from other candidates.

The good news: Beto is floating some policy ideasThe bad news: They appear to be other people’s policy ideas https://t.co/s4I014G9ZT

The candidate continued to regale voters with stories about his "Republican" mom, who has been voting in Democratic primaries for almost two decades, and while attempting to weigh in on the gun control debate, managed to aggravate just about everyone on both sides of the issue.

Beto is also trying to split the difference on healthcare. He opposed Obamacare when he first ran for Congress, but supported a single-payer, Medicare-for-all program during his Senate race against Ted Cruz. Now he's "no longer sure" about that. Same goes for his stance on impeachment.

O'Rourke said when he was first running for Congress that he was against Obamacare. He said during his Senate campaign he backs for a Medicare for All-type program of single payer health insurance.

Since announcing his campaign, Beto has had to apologize for joking about being an absentee dad, among other "ham-handed" quips at his wife's expense, and was forced to acknowledge "the truth of the criticism that I have enjoyed white privilege." Oh, and he also had to apologize for writing a fictional piece about running over a group of children with his car.

The "privilege" angle in particular is gaining some steam, and has already produced some unsavory headlines for the Democratic darling of the 2018 election cycle.

"We’re only a day into the Beto candidacy … so far, the rollout of his campaign seems to be little more than an exercise in vanity that would’ve gotten a female candidate laughed out of the news cycle" – @danielleiat_ https://t.co/5lfZ39faNx

Beto's rivals in the diverse field of candidates are taking notes, especially the ones you already forgot were running.

Julian Castro in Vegas tonight, on being referred to as "the other Texan" in the race: "I'm the one from the other side of the tracks. I'm the one that didn't grow up as a front runner." https://t.co/IlcQQgCqQd

Don't worry, though, Beto still has his champions within the party. Just ask fellow former congressman and failed candidate Joe Crowley, the long-serving member of the House Democratic leadership team who was ousted by political megastar Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. At least he's got Beto's back in the war against Donald Trump Bernie Sanders.

.@JoeCrowleyNY on Beto: He's scaring Bernie. Bernie's people are attacking him right now because they're afraid of what he brings to this race. He's new, he's vibrant, he's different. #AMR

]]>Alternative Beto O’Rourke Vanity Fair Covershttps://freebeacon.com/blog/beto-vanity-fair-cover/
Thu, 14 Mar 2019 19:55:20 +0000https://freebeacon.com/?post_type=blog&p=1137391Having failed to make it as a blogger, Robert Francis "Beto" O'Rourke, best known for his failed Senate campaign against Ted Cruz, has decided to run for president. Vanity Fair is first out of the gate with an exclusive profile, which is eerily similar to the one they published of John Edwards back in 2008. "Man, ...

"Man, I’m just born to be in it." Beto O’Rourke seemed to come from nowhere to the brink of a presidential candidacy—but he’s been on this journey for his whole life. O’Rourke spoke with Joe Hagan. Photographs by Annie Leibovitz. https://t.co/WhmQGZnbUgpic.twitter.com/a7DCoaZdtd

Notable revelations include: 1) Beto is the sort of person who would name his first-born son Ulysses and his dog Artemis, 2) He's a huge fan of indy music and of Beto O'Rourke, and 3) That infamous drunk driving arrest occurred toward the tail end of a late-night booty call with an old flame.

This stunning feat of journalism offers a helpful reminder: The key to great reporting is often just showing up, and learning to love your subjects as they deserve to be loved.

I convinced Beto O'Rourke to do this cover story after walking up to his house and introducing myself one Sunday afternoon. He was lounging on the front veranda, barefoot in blue jeans and T-shirt, talking on his cell phone. https://t.co/sNkzocRT3p

The Vanity Fair cover is causing quite a stir among nerds, and has been much remarked upon by social media users. It is classic Beto, to say the least. The lost soul. The inquisitive pioneer. The reluctant warrior. The jingle-janglin' troubadour. Returned from wilderness. Bound for glory.

But the magazine could have opted for a different look. Here are a few alternatives.

THE DRIVER'S SEAT

THE ATHLETE

THE ENTREPRENEUR

THE INTELLECTUAL

THE UNDERDOG

THE WHITE OBAMA

]]>How Previous Democratic Presidents Would Fare in the 2020 ‘Woke’ Primaryhttps://freebeacon.com/blog/woke-democratic-primary/
Thu, 14 Mar 2019 09:00:35 +0000https://freebeacon.com/?post_type=blog&p=1136419The Democratic Party is in the middle of a curious transition, not unlike the insurgent Tea Party's re-branding of the Republican Party circa 2010. It was often said that "even Ronald Reagan couldn't win the GOP nomination these days." That might be true, but it's also true that previous Democratic presidents would be considered far ...

]]>The Democratic Party is in the middle of a curious transition, not unlike the insurgent Tea Party's re-branding of the Republican Party circa 2010. It was often said that "even Ronald Reagan couldn't win the GOP nomination these days." That might be true, but it's also true that previous Democratic presidents would be considered far too problematic to win the "woke" party's nomination in 2020, as evidenced by de facto House Speaker Ilhan Omar's recent criticism of Barack Obama.

WHY HE'S PROBLEMATIC: Half white, male, straight, more accomplished as a memoirist than as a politician, books can't be repealed — unlike most of his signature "accomplishments" in office, picked a racially problematic goofball (Joe Biden) as his VP, bailed out Wall Street, staffed his cabinet with lobbyists and banking executives, championed "conservative" health-care reform, filled out NCAA brackets while Libya and Yemen burned, put immigrant kids in cages, became addicted to drone strikes and cigarettes, caved to House Republicans, pretended to oppose gay marriage, didn't do enough to combat climate change, core convictions limited to 1) "I am right," and 2) "If I keep talking long enough, everyone will agree that I'm right," didn't take the Russia threat seriously enough, succeeded by Donald Trump, if he really is a secret Muslim why hasn't he proudly admitted it by now?

ATTACK AD TAGLINE: "Cares more about basketball than the environment, and he's not even that good at the game."

WHY HE'S PROBLEMATIC: White, male, (very) straight, capitalist, sub-par husband, adulterer, serial predator, accused rapist, confirmed pervert, has been quoted on multiple occasions describing someone as "luckier than a dog with two dicks," creep with anger issues — like that time he went all "Grand Wizard" on Obama in 2008, signed welfare reform, facilitated the Rwandan genocide, tougher on crime than Kamala Harris, consumed by greed and hubris

ATTACK AD TAGLINE: "Murdered entire cities in their sleep. Even worse: He criticized a journalist."

FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT

WHY HE'S WOKE: New Deal, Social Security, invalid

WHY HE'S PROBLEMATIC: White, male, straight, Old Money, probably a racist, didn't invite Jesse Owens to the White House after the Berlin Olympics, opposed anti-lynching legislation, nominated a former Ku Klux Klan member (Hugo Black) to the Supreme Court, architect of Japanese internment

ATTACK AD TAGLINE: "We need a commander in chief who will stand up to racism…"

WOODROW WILSON

WHY HE'S WOKE: League of Nations, academic

WHY HE'S PROBLEMATIC: White, male, straight, (very) racist, descendant of Confederate soldiers, subscribed to "Lost Cause" mythology, quoted in "The Birth of Nation," celebrated the "great Ku Klux Klan," re-segregated federal agencies — even if it meant putting black workers in cages to separate them from white colleagues, called segregation a "benefit" for blacks — "an ignorant and inferior race," unilaterally defeated a proposed amendment at the Versailles Convention to recognize racial equality, opposed black suffrage, you get the idea…

]]>How To Talk To Your Dying Relatives About The Mueller Reporthttps://freebeacon.com/blog/death-awaits-us-all/
Mon, 11 Mar 2019 20:05:45 +0000https://freebeacon.com/?post_type=blog&p=1135180From the moment Donald J. Trump was sworn into office, the liberal left has responded to the world-historical achievements of his presidency with a mixture of awe and jealousy. In the public sphere, however, these understandable human emotions have all too often manifested themselves as blind rage and an impassioned obsession with Robert Mueller's so-called ...

]]>From the moment Donald J. Trump was sworn into office, the liberal left has responded to the world-historical achievements of his presidency with a mixture of awe and jealousy. In the public sphere, however, these understandable human emotions have all too often manifested themselves as blind rage and an impassioned obsession with Robert Mueller's so-called "collusion" Witch Hunt.

According to NPR, this Mueller Mania is particularly prevalent among libs who are elderly and/or infirm:

Expectations among Democrats are sky-high as reports have emerged about special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation coming to an end.

In fact, expectations are so intense among some elderly, ill critics of the president that they say they want to try to hang on to see how the story all turns out.

Just as it is important to know how to discuss politics with your brainwashed lib family members at Thanksgiving, all Americans should be equipped to deal with aging, sickly relatives anxiously awaiting (most likely in vain) the results of Mueller's investigation.

For example, here is a sample New York Times front page you could bring to the hospital if things take a turn for the worse.

If they ask for details, just tell them the Supreme Court began drafting the Articles of Treason after Trump's tax returns revealed that he personally financed the annexation of Crimea. Every single Republican Senator has already voiced support for impeachment — save for Marco Rubio, who remains undecided. After the United Nations voted to establish international domain over the United States, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was able to cite the Venezuelan Constitution and declare herself the lawful president. The Green New Deal is enacted hours later.

If they decide to stick around for more good news, here's another front page sure to put a smile on the patient's face.

Yes, that's right. History was made, sort of. Chief Justice Merrick Garland swore in Hillary Clinton as the second female president in history. Pelosi had selected Clinton as vice president to "own the cons," but refused to resign until Clinton's private security forces apprehended her en route to the White House. Pelosi remains unaccounted for. House Democrats immediately elected Ilhan Omar as her replacement.

Feeling better, are we? Now show them this…

Enough said.

You should be aware, of course, that your loved one's lib tendencies, combined with old age and/or proximity to death, could make them targets for a variety of Mueller-themed scams.

It's probably best to keep their television turned off. Tell them Trump did it.