Friday, 19 December 2008

Stuff that people are careless about, words that people forget to say are actually those things that we should cherish the most…...Not being able to resist smiling stupidly for some little things in the subway, at the library while “studying” and even during a final exam is really some kind of blessing or luck.

Do I make sense? If you think I make sense then you must be one lucky person.I feel lucky too!

Sunday, 14 December 2008

Saturday, 13 December 2008

My parents came to the airport to pick me up and I was glad to see them. However, as they ask me if I’ll miss Hangzhou, I wanted to cry again, but of course I had to hold back. The first few weeks after I got back to Montreal was difficult, I felt entirely misplaced. I still thought I was in China, and I couldn't believe all this became part of yesterday. Is this what we call reverse cultural shock? It feels odd to not see Chinese faces on the streets. I miss my bed in China, I miss the view from my dormitory, I miss the stinky smell of the public bathrooms, I miss the tasty Muslim noodles, and I miss…China. I felt completely disconnected and only wanted to stay home on my own, couldn’t help but think backwards even though life goes on and I should probably look frontward. I wonder, if that feeling of detachment did not happen when I first got to China, what would that mean? I am not sure whether it is because I found better or that I am a complete loser who just woke up from the escape of reality.

Perhaps “meaningful” is the word I am looking for. For example, if you haven’t seen a friend for a week, that’s a hella long time in China, this is simply because Chinese live for the moment. Countless technologies today, that is supposed to bring us closer, is actually creating barriers, but it makes our life so much “easier” that we don’t think about it, and along side, things lose their meanings. Are we actually improving or unconsciously regressing? It seems like life is harder for Chinese because conditions in China are not as good compared to here, but life is definitely more fulfilling and meaningful in China, because they truly cherish what they have. That sense of being full…of being alive is difficult describe, but I can feel it. Maybe many Chinese who grew up in China seek to immigrate to America, but after seeing both sides, I dream I could be part of them. As the days go by, I hoped to get back in place and do my best at school and just anything for the time I am here. At the same time, it always seems like my body is here but my heart is elsewhere and constantly thinking of leaving. How would you feel if you changed, but people around you didn't? Once upon a time, getting wasted every night seemed like lots of fun and was all I wanted, but that can no longer satisfy me. I read an interesting article called “Sigmoid Curve” written by Charles Handy. It essentially says that as some summits are attained, one must find a higher summit in order to remain motivated and that becomes our driving force or inspiration. He used the sigmoid curve to maily describe organizations, but I think that applies to anyone. Life can be viewed as a learning experience, learning about ourselves. In order to do so, we first learn about others. The more we know about others and see the differences and similarities; we get to understand ourselves better. As we learn about other cultures, we get to know ours’ better. On the other hand, the more we see, the more it gets unclear and we continually search answers to that unclearness. Hence, new and more complex questions are the higher summits that inspire us. What’s the purpose of all this? To grow, to be a better person, to be happy I guess? Maybe we are living in the hope to find those answers, answers to those never-ending questions.

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Monday, 8 December 2008

A question that many people like to ask：If tomorrow was the end of the world, then what would you do today? See things that you didn't get the chance to see? Do things that you were not game to do? No matter how certain you are now…If there were really no tomorrow, then a lot of things would not matter anymore and it is at that time that you realize what is most important to you and you get to understand what kind of person you really are underneath it all.

That last day in China, I just wanted to be with you. The West Lake is attractive indeed, but I didn't want to be there. I would be the happiest girl alive if I could stay with you and make a living in China. I’d wait for you every night until you finish work and we’d go for walks in the park at 5 am when everyone else is sleeping. Did I just borrow you to build that perfect dream? As for all dreams, we must wake up someday. Tomorrow, I'll be heading towards a different direction and you'll continue in your direction...but that moment we spent together meant forever to me.

It fascinates me how two totally different persons can come together, especially for two persons who live on opposite sides of the world. Maybe everything seemed so perfect because the time we spent together was so short that we didn’t see the bad sides of each other, but isn’t it better like that? The good times were short but enough to still unconsciously smile when reminisced.

hey there elaine...u know i love asian women...when i look at you it gives me the reason why,....u are the type of girl i'm looking for...u have everything i'm looking for...beauty and the smarts to go with it....if your interested in talking a little more just get back to me...my e-mail is cavalluzzisav@hotmail.com if u have msn you can just add me and we can chat more...see ya beautiful...xoxo

Hi beautifulI just thought that I would say hi while your online right now. I thing you are very sexy and smart. But I'm blocked out of your profile so, let me in and I could get to know you bettter.Peace Beautiful.

hi there sexy couldnt help but notice u u wanna chat

Hey I was just browsing here and i saw your profile... i dont normally do this but i would love to chat.you have some gorgeous pics!Eric

Hey hows it going/? U dont know me but i was trying to find a friend i went to school with when i seen ur pic and just about fell over LOL.. Your unreal beautiful.. I would love to talk to you but if not its cool Take care anyway

how are you my dear :))you are appearing very swettI wan to bite you :)))

Ok I gotta stop here. Are you guys tired of reading this? Because I am. Sexy, attractive, cute, chix and all those blablas, I have no time to care about what you can think of me...And most of you don't even know how to spell in english or french. Is that what you guys do instead of going to school? PATHETIC! I'm sorry for acting like a diva and I'm sorry for the fact that I don't even actually feel sorry.

By the way, I am very nice, I do respond to nice, meaningful and interesting messages.