Sydnee Gould takes a spin in the sidecar of John Ireland's bike, which plays music as he rides. They participated in the Denver Cruiser bicycle ride Wednesday, Sept. 7, 2011.

There, on the horizon, is a semi-coherent swarm of rainbow afro wigs, pirate hats, spandex and pink tutus. It smells of booze and bicycle grease, sweat and tears, and by the time the bike-riding blob has overtaken you, it’s too late: you’re part of a Denver Cruiser Ride.

The weekly gathering of bike/costume/beer enthusiasts will begin anew on May 16 and happen every Wednesday night through Sept. 26, and just minutes ago the organizers announced their costume themes for 2012.

There are some tried and true favorites — officially referred to as DCR Traditions — such as the Ship o’ Fools (a.k.a. pirates, sea men and nymphs, Sept. 19) and what I like to call the Ghetto Robots (bubble wrap, duct tape and cardboard, June 20). There are also some retreads of themes from previous years, like the footie-pajama-friendly Slumber Party (June 6) and rolling Super Diamond concert known as Disco night (May 30).

But frankly, I’m more excited about the new-for-2012 entries. Click below for some highlights followed by the full schedule.

[media-credit name=”Evan Semon, Special to The Denver Post” align=”alignnone” width=”495″][/media-credit]

Denver Mayor Michael Hancock is joined by hundreds of bicycle enthusiast as he leads the second annual Orange Ride through downtown Denver to Sports Authority Field at Mile High on Oct. 30, 2011. The event is sponsored by the Denver Cruiser Ride and Denver Bike Sharing.

Best Nod to Colorado-bred Satirists
America F*ck Yeah! (July 4)
The Cruisers’ Fourth of July ride isn’t just an excuse to bust out those too-tight American flag pants and put lit sparklers in your dyed-red hair, it’s also a chance to dress up like a character from Colorado natives Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s “Team America,” the theme song of which is referenced in the title of this ride.

Best Chance to Pixelate Your Pants
Space Invaders (July 18)
The obvious costume choice here is the standard-issue alien, with tin-foil ears, glowing eyes and an oblong head. But I’m excited to see if anyone takes the theme literally and tries to look like a baddie from the original Space Invaders game, or by extension, blocky buddies Ignignokt and Err from “Aqua Teen Hunger Force.”

Best Way to Camoflauge Your Substance Abuse Outside of Halloween
End of the World: Vices & Virtues (Aug. 22)
Since we all know the world is ending on Dec. 21 (right? right?) we may as well go out in style, and at least one Cruiser Ride should reflect that sense of gleeful, apocalyptic abandon. This is your chance to smoke a cigar while riding your bike, strap on a pair of angel wings, or (preferably) do both at the same time. We have a distinct feeling this ride is going to make a detour by the Argonaut store on East Colfax.

According organizers, they considered 200+ ideas and concepts and boiled them down to these. Take a gander:

http://www.denvercruiserride.com/who2.html <= you'll need the Flash browser plugin to view this surely very embarrassing video. On this same page you may also determine for yourself if it is prudent to support this.