I took my kids to see him in a shopping centre in Derby. If you got there really early you could get a pass to meet him, got there at 8.30 and every friggin pass had gone. Kids were really upset really they weren't but I was completely fucked off. He did a little show and it was ace. He passed around a butternut squash for us all to have a cuddle of. He really is quite sexy.

I thought for ages that the last line of the song went "In my dirty nursery". I think that and the bra and pants bit are much better that the original (so is "With my veg in pants, I can sing and dance").

Holy moly, I started this thread really to just get it off my chest, I soooo didn't expect other people to even reply let alone Hafez alternatives!!!!!! I am new strangely happy and also can't wait to catch Balamory so I can sing along to Threadworms version! Thank you all--- weirdos!!!!