How to Read Body Language: Part Two

How to Read Body Language: Part Two

Professor Ray Birdwhistell of the
University of Louisville determined that more than two-thirds of communication
in face-to-face settings takes place nonverbally.Fellow researcher Albert Mehrabian discovered
that only 7 percent of communication is verbal.His studies indicated that 38 percent of communication can be attributed
to the tone of one’s voice while a whopping 55 percent results from facial
expression and body language.Add to
this the fact that nonverbal communication reveals a person’s true feelings
when it is contrary to spoken language.People may be dishonest in what they say but facial expressions and
other body language tend to be more telling. When a person's words and body
language are consistent, we believe that person. When their words and body
language say different things, we tend to believe the body language and doubt
the words.Bottom line.You need to be cognizant of nonverbal
communication and how to use it to your best advantage to be an effective
communicator.

Using Body Language Effectively

Always
be as aware of a person’s body language as you are of the words they
speak.When you first meet someone, it
is not unusual for them to appear nervous or reserved.This makes sense.After all, they don’t know you and don’t know
what to expect.If you have perfected
your nonverbal communication you will most likely be able to set them at ease.As a result they will tend to display more
open body language.

If
someone responds positively to you, you know you are on the right track.If you sense a negative reaction you should
change gears and modify the direction you are headed in. Try to figure out what
the problem is to determine how to proceed.

Try
asking open-ended questions to increase involvement.Focus on the other person’s interests.Figure out something you have in common to
establish increased rapport before moving ahead.

Being an Effective Listener

Lean
forward slightly. If you lean backward the other person may be confused.Are you comfortable or distracted? Are you
simply relaxed or are you being disrespectful?

Pay
attention to your posture. It speaks volumes.Don’t slump. It’s unattractive and riddled with negative nonverbal cues.
If you are seated, sit up straight and leave your arms and legs uncrossed. If
you are standing, don’t lean against walls or doors as if you cannot support
yourself.Refrain from constantly
shifting your body weight from one foot to the other. It’s distracting.

Be
attentive and try not to fidget. Don't finger your jewelry, hair, clothing, or
anything in your pockets. It suggests boredom and impatience with the speaker
or the topic.Either way, it is
unattractive.

Maintain
good eye contact. It says you are paying attention.It says you are interested.It says you want to be there.Avoid staring, however.It will only make others uncomfortable.

Be
aware of what you are doing with your arms and hands.If you fold your arms in front of you others
may interpret this to mean you are unreceptive.Resting your clasped hands in your lap suggests you are critical of what
is being said. Can’t you just picture someone doing this with pursed lips?

Nod
your head from time to time.It lets
others know that you are actively listening.

Be an Effective Speaker

Face
the person you are addressing. Sitting at an angle or facing away from someone
suggests you are not interested.It may
also make you look rude.

Use
a conversational tone.Change the pace
at which you speak occasionally to maintain interest.Place emphasis on certain words and phrases
to underscore important points you are making. Use pitch and volume to your
advantage.And don’t race through what
you have to say.You will appear to be
nervous.

Stand
about two feet away from the person you are talking to.It’s a distance you should both feel
comfortable with.Standing closer will
make the other person feel as though you are encroaching on their space which
triggers defensiveness.Standing further
away is awkward and will make the other person question how you feel about
them.

Use
gestures to emphasize the points you make but limit the space in which you make
them.Avoid pointing at anything or
anyone -- especially the person you are talking to.It is not only bad manners, it is aggressive
and will not be well received.

The
experts have conducted many studies that demonstrate the importance of
nonverbal communication.Being aware of
what their research indicates is just one more way you can be sure to
communicate to the best of your ability.