Having just recently recovered from some unpleasant oral surgery (wisdom tooth went rogue and murdered neighboring tooth, which then became evil dead zombie tooth), I wholly feel LeAnn Rimes in her quest for dental justice. Rimes claims that a negligent dentist botched her veneers, leaving her in terrible pain and requiring nine root canals "and bone grafting." So she's taking that dude to TOOTH COURT. Dun-DUN.

In the lawsuit ... obtained by TMZ ... Rimes claims she went to Dr. Duane C. McKay for various dental work over 3 years. Some of the work included upper front veneers and crowns that the dentist promised would address her TMJ-related pain as well as improve her appearance.

Rimes claims rather than helping, the dentist messed her mouth up bad, causing tremendous pain and bleeding. Back in October, she tweeted, "I feel like I got hit in my right side of my face with a baseball bat."

Rimes says she's had to undergo 9 root canals and bone grafting. She's also had a temporary bridge and needed physical therapy as well.

Rimes says in the suit she will have a "permanent cosmetic deficiency."

Rimes says the dental work is so bad it has been screwing with her career ... impeding her ability to perform.

I would also like to sue the English language for forcing me to think about the phrase "bone grafting." [TMZ]

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Would you like to know how Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner make their Hollywood marriage work? Mainly by loving each other, it looks like.

He kept his arm tenderly around her back. She beamed as he told her "I love you" from the stage, and when the show was over, gently reminded him to take his jacket. For Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, the British Academy Film Awards in London on Feb. 10 was another successful date night – and a rare grown-ups' weekend getaway, with their three kids staying home with Garner's sister.

Well, almost: "He's just like a child!" Garner lovingly joked to a friend as she tugged her still-schmoozing husband–who won the night's two biggest honors for his film Argo – toward the exit. Could an Oscar for Best Picture be his next stop? "This is a second act for me," he said in his London acceptance speech. "I am so grateful and proud." As he told PEOPLE recently, "I am very lucky. I have to knock on wood about my life."

(Also a very special Rambaldi device. You know, for the bedroom.) [People]

Today in actual lolz that would have bee loud enough to scare the cat if my boyfriend would let me get one (BOOOOOO), apparently somebody made a penis-measuring app called the "Chubby Checker," and now ACTUAL CHUBBY CHECKER IS MAD ABOUT IT:

Chubby (the singer) just called in to "TMZ Live" to explain why he declared legal war on Hewlett-Packard and Palm for releasing the app — telling us, "They're selling a penis package named Chubby Checker ... I'm upset about that."

As we previously reported, Chubby wants a judge to force the companies to shut down the app ASAP, claiming he owns the "Chubby Checker" trademark.

Pro tip: If you want me to read your e-mail, give it a subject line like "Chubby Checker: 'I Don't Want People to Call Me a Penis.'" That shit is like blogger catnip. NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT CATNIP SMELLS LIKE, BOYFRIEND. [TMZ]

Ugh. Anthony Anderson says he would "DEFINITELY" play Christopher Dorner in a movie. [TMZ]