What are your Valentine’s Day plans? We’re guessing that whatever dinner reservations you’ve made—or whatever flower arrangement you ordered at the last minute—neither will come close to matching the zany, bonkers splendor of Michael Bolton’s Valentine’s Day festivities—as captured in his new Netflix offering, Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special. In honor of the holiday, Vanity Fair sat down with Bolton, along with executive producers Scott Aukerman (Comedy Bang Bang!) and Lonely Island’s Akiva Schaffer, to chat about how the special came together, what it was like to wrangle together so many hilarious cameos, and—most important—what their tips are for having the best Valentine’s Day ever.

Most S.N.L. fans probably remember Bolton’s first collaboration with the Lonely Island guys: a digital short called “Jack Sparrow” in which Bolton appears as a belting cinephile. “The whole thing was so much fun,” Bolton recalled. “Crazy fun.” This project, however, kicks everything up a notch.

“We went beyond ‘Sparrow’ with a lot of the language in this one,” Bolton said. “And Sarah Silverman took it to another—literally, they had a camera on me, and I was going, ‘What? Did she really say that?’ And my line would be, ‘This is a family show!’ I was actually experiencing this.”

Silverman was just one of a seemingly endless stream of celebrities who showed up for the variety special—including former S.N.L. stars like Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, and Will Forte, comedians like Bob Saget, and more unexpected appearances by folks like, say, Michael Sheen. (For the record, Sheen’s against-type cameo is one of the special’s funniest; he plays a revved-up choreographer even Sparky “Spirit Fingers” from Bring it On would find intimidating.)

As crazy sketches unfold one after another, Bolton plays the straight man to all of it, gawking and singing his way through with impressive commitment. As Schaffer jokingly explained, “We tried to make everything very real for him. Very little acting involved. If he had to be scared, I would put on a fun mask and jump out.”

“For Michael, this is a documentary,” Aukerman added.

One of the most fun parts of the project, Aukerman continued, was figuring out exactly what parts everyone would play: “I was just excited about the marriage of performer to material. Because when they would come in, and it was Michael Sheen or Andy Samberg [who played an angry Kenny G], it was just as exciting to figure out exactly what they were going to do. And when they would settle on what they were going to do—like when Will Forte said, ‘O.K., I want to do the twin brother piece.’ In our mind, you knew what that was, and you’re already laughing.” (Forte plays Bolton’s less successful twin brother, Michael Fulton, in the special.)

So, what do the masterminds behind this sex-infused telethon spectacular think makes for an exemplary Valentine’s Day?

Schaffer offered, “I’m weird. I like flowers. Chocolates. I like to be pampered. And I want to be made to feel special.”

Aukerman said he likes a good couple massage—“and that's where me and my wife massage a dude. . . just one dude. Like, ‘You take the top, I’ll take the bottom.’ ”

And finally, there’s Bolton. “Mine’s going to be boring as hell,” he said. “A quiet dinner with someone you really want to be with on Valentine’s Day—instead of the one you’re with. Just kidding!”

Claire Foy is photographed for her portrait as Queen Elizabeth II in full regalia, in what the Queen wore to her coronation ceremony in 1953. Foy portrays a young but steadfast Elizabeth as she assumes the throne at the age of 25.

Photo: Photograph by Julian Broad.

A car fit for a king! Julian Broad captures a brooding Matt Smith (best known as Doctor Who) in his role as a youthful Prince Philip, the Queen’s husband. In preparation for the part, Smith gleaned inside information by talking to a former officer of the British royal household.

Photo: Photograph by Julian Broad.

Foy, whose performance as Ann Boleyn in Wolf Hall earned her a BAFTA nomination, is equally magnificent in her latest turn as Queen of England.

Photo: Photograph by Julian Broad.

Vanessa Kirby plays Princess Margaret, the Queen’s late sister and her closest confidante. Kirby presents Margaret in a more vivacious and sultry light—a side of her character less exposed and commonly explored when depicting the royal sisters.

John Lithgow stars as the indomitable Winston Churchill, whose relationship with the Queen (almost 50 years his junior) as prime minister was the stimulus from which the entire series developed. Lithgow trained for hours with a dialect coach in order to perfect his rendering of perhaps the 20th century’s most famed British orator.

Photo: Photograph by Julian Broad.

The principal cast is photographed here on location at Lancaster House in London. Eileen Atkins and Victoria Hamilton star alongside Kirby, Foy, and Smith as Queen Mary (Elizabeth’s grandmother) and Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother.

Photo: Photograph by Julian Broad.

Claire Foy is photographed for her portrait as Queen Elizabeth II in full regalia, in what the Queen wore to her coronation ceremony in 1953. Foy portrays a young but steadfast Elizabeth as she assumes the throne at the age of 25.

Photograph by Julian Broad.

A car fit for a king! Julian Broad captures a brooding Matt Smith (best known as Doctor Who) in his role as a youthful Prince Philip, the Queen’s husband. In preparation for the part, Smith gleaned inside information by talking to a former officer of the British royal household.

Photograph by Julian Broad.

Foy, whose performance as Ann Boleyn in Wolf Hall earned her a BAFTA nomination, is equally magnificent in her latest turn as Queen of England.

Photograph by Julian Broad.

Vanessa Kirby plays Princess Margaret, the Queen’s late sister and her closest confidante. Kirby presents Margaret in a more vivacious and sultry light—a side of her character less exposed and commonly explored when depicting the royal sisters.

John Lithgow stars as the indomitable Winston Churchill, whose relationship with the Queen (almost 50 years his junior) as prime minister was the stimulus from which the entire series developed. Lithgow trained for hours with a dialect coach in order to perfect his rendering of perhaps the 20th century’s most famed British orator.

Photograph by Julian Broad.

The principal cast is photographed here on location at Lancaster House in London. Eileen Atkins and Victoria Hamilton star alongside Kirby, Foy, and Smith as Queen Mary (Elizabeth’s grandmother) and Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother.