Posts Tagged ‘Pubs’

A new study of men has shown that their navigation has been completely thrown out of kilter due to the unprecedented amount of pubs closing their doors. The study found that males are have completely disorientated when they are no longer able to use “ale houses” as points of references.

The government’s new Drinking Commission said the law should be changed so anyone queuing when last orders is called could still exercise their right to become inebriated and start a fight in a chip shop or over who was in the taxi queue first.

The Campaign for Real Alcopops has protested that an invasion of tedious, responsible drinkers over 30 is driving the UK’s clubs and bars to abandon the much-loved, lurid, caffeinated alcopops in favour of disgusting new drinks known as “real ales”, and is destroying the traditional British night out as a result.