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With Halloween right around the corner, it’s once again time to go shopping for candy.

It’s the only time of year that my wife and I buy candy so we try to buy ones that we would eat in case of leftovers. This means none of the following:

Tootsie Rolls

It’s the candy that adults give to trick kids into thinking they’re getting a chocolate treat.

Dubble Bubble Gum

It’s a good thing that the flavor of this gum only lasts 2 seconds.

Circus Peanuts

Why does this candy taste like bananas? Somewhere out there is a banana-shaped candy that tastes like peanuts.

Root Beer Barrels

Is this candy supposed to taste more like an actual root beer barrel instead of root beer?

Goetze Caramel Creams

The name of the candy company sounds like a variation of the name of an infamous Internet shock site. And if you look closely at the candy, it looks just like what that website is known for.

Strawberry Delights

I love artificial strawberry flavors so I can drink any generic strawberry soda out there. But this candy totally defeats me. Yuck!

Atomic Fireballs

One way to stop your kids from realizing the joys of eating candy is by scarring them for life with these.

Candy Corn

I’ve always been a fan of candy corn, but we’ve avoided handing them out since a lot of people absolutely despise them, including my wife. The weird thing is that if I eat any more than three pieces of candy corn, I get a really bad headache, kind of like getting brain freeze when I drink a 7-11 Slurpee quickly. It’s probably my body’s way of telling me to stop eating such crappy candy.

While on the topic of candy, here’s a video I found of a Pop Rocks commercial, showing other uses for their candy:

Wow that commercial totally went a different direction then I thought it was going, damn! But seriously though, I like the strawberry delights one, and this year I went to Costco and got a bag of individually wrapped play-doh so now I won’t have to eat the candy leftovers and can give the rest of the play-doh to Katherine for her school. We’ll see what the trick-or-treaters say.