Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Special! Blackwater! Olympics!

Already missing Bob Costas beach bikini volleyball fun? Envisioning Shawn Johnson dismounts as you leave work? Awkwardly following the debate over Ben Stiller's use of "the 'r' word" in his new satire, Tropic Thunder? Wondering what the fine patriots at Blackwater have to do with all of that? Well, they are playing bocce ball for the Special Olympics. From the Blackwater press release:

The game Bocce Ball has elements of bowling, horseshoes, shuffleboard and billiards. To start play, the pallino, a white ball the size of a golf ball, is rolled onto an 8’ X 60’ grass court. The pallino then becomes the target. Players roll larger balls to see who can come closest to the pallino. Players can move the pallino with their balls or knock opposing balls further away. The game is enjoyed by players of all ages and athletic abilities. The Special Olympics serves a unique group of people, and this event brought a widespread of involvement from the surrounding communities to support this cause. A corporate sponsorship request was sent to Blackwater for sponsorship participation in the 1st Annual Bocce Ball Tournament. Blackwater gladly accepted and became a corporate sponsor at the gold level. Gary Jackson, President of Blackwater stated, “There is nothing more worthy than helping others less fortunate.” Blackwater employees and their families volunteered their time to be the official judges for this tournament, assisted in locating community volunteers and teams, and even recruited other employees for teams to participate in the tournament for this event. It was estimated 100 four-man teams competed in the tournament. There was great food, frozen drinks an exciting and fun Bocce Ball Tournament with the businesses and other groups competing against each other. This event was wrapped up with a dance under the starts at Waterfront Park in Elizabeth City, North Carolina.

If all that's not special enough, then you better start training for this:

Blackwater Escape and Evasion Adventure Race

November 7th – 8th

Blackwater Extreme Racing and Don Mann Productions are proud to announce the Blackwater Escape and Evasion Adventure Race, a distinctive and exciting athletic event unlike any other. The Blackwater E&E will challenge adventure racers, triathletes, military personnel and anyone else looking for an innovative endurance competition.

This 24-hour race will pit teams of two against one another in the traditional adventure racing disciplines of trail running, mountain biking, paddling, and orienteering. But, as the name implies there is more to this race than just reading a map and finding checkpoints. Racers will also be challenged along the course by a series of Special Operations type events and surprises that could only be made possible by the combined expertise of the Blackwater Extreme Racing staff.

What the competition needs is a couple of teams of scrawny sci-fi types to go all meta on their asses. It'll be like Rocky meets Full Metal Jacket on the set of Starship Troopers!