Sep 30, 2011

Today's fire Marshal testimony in the trial of Joshua Komisarjevsky was substantially more descriptive than last year's counterpart within accomplice - Steven Hayes' trial.

Steven Hayes was found guilty of all charges, with the exception of one, and ultimately sentenced to death after five days of deliberations approximately one year ago.

In today's Fire Marshall testimony more disturbing new details emerged about the fire including specific information about the way that the gasoline was poured upon seventeen year old Hayley Petit:

The Marshal described in vivid detail "arc like motions" that the gasoline had been tossed across the vibrant young girl's body and bed linens, drenching them, then pouring a gasoline path out of Hayley's bedroom, down the hall.

into her sister Michaela's room and onto her bed her body, where she was found in the still smoldering home deceased with her arms still tied above her head to her bed, her legs on the ground . There was significantly less gas used in Michaela's room because allegedly the men ran out of gas at that point.

Joann Petit Chapman ran out of the courtroom in tears.

I am not a family member and yet I have spent many many sleepless nights thinking about that fire, both girls and Hayley the strong courageous Hayley and the fact that she had supposedly gotten free of her binds and made it to the top of the stairs, only to be overcome by fire and smoke and collapse.

It made sense that Hayley would be the one to get loose, she was a star athlete, a rower, basketball player and a tall strong girl. But something always troubled me about this theory and I wrote about it on this very Blog following the Fire Marshall's testimony last year. I recall the article wound up published on the Petit Family Foundation Twitter site. Fire Marshal testimony Hayes Trial

I had immediately thought about a story that I'd read some years back about a college freshman at Columbia who was living off campus in a small apartment when it was broken into by a predator. He severely tortured and sexually assaulted this poor young woman all night. The tortures were atrocious.

In the morning, he tied her to her bed and lit the bed on fire, running out of the apartment as the bed went ablaze. The young lady somehow managed to stay calm enough to use the fire to burn through her restraints and stumbled through the fire to safety, suffering only relatively minor burns.

However, her injuries from the sadistic rapist would be murderer were more extensive and life lasting. He had done sadistic things to her and seemed to delight in her pain. A total sexual sadist. The girls courage and ability to think during such immense stress had amazed and saddened me at the same time.
I couldn't help but wonder as I lay awake at night, if this is what happened to Hayley.

Did her ties burn off rather than her wresting them loose. Was she running on fire literally jumping off of her flame - consumed bed, and having nowhere to run, ran into the fire, carefully laid out by these sadist's strategically poured gas patterns? It seems too much to bear, but we owed it to Hayley to figure out the truth about what had happened to her. The victims experiences are the embodiment of an violent crime. This was must do not as voyeurs but as pained compassionate witnesses after the fact. This is their truth and they deserve it not to be swept under the rug, because it is unpleasant.

The Petit girls and their mom are no longer with us and we must uncover these truths as they are as important as the punishment meted out to their murderers. As well these two things are inexorably linked.

As a victim and survivor of violent crime, I can attest to the importance ofthe truth, Truth is the starting point, and the nucleus of all Justice. Without truth there cannot be Justice.

Today, the theory of the bonds burning through was strongly suggested, as opposed to the Hayes trial, where the testimony regarding this same fire was less expansive and detailed, and the corresponding forensic findings that were proffered by the fire Marshal seemed to have been more deeply analyzed.

Perhaps having had more time, experts were able to pour over the investigation and every issue related to the fire more carefully, with a fine tooth comb if you will. For whatever the reason I was
simply pleased as I was left feeling that much more could have been covered by the state regarding the fire as well as some other key evidence during the Steven Hayes trial.

The fire was after all, the murder weapon, a cowardly and sadistic way to kill Hayley and Michaela Petit, as well as attempting to destroy DNA evidence of all of the sexual assaults.This particular day's testimony took a lot out of everyone - the Petit's the Hawkes and all of their extended family and friends. Indeed everyone who has become privy to the details of these crimes has been traumatized and grief stricken to one degree or another. It shows how far reaching one such violent crime can be and how much harm is done to society as a result.

Yet another move for a mistrial this time based upon members of the Petit family choosing to leave the courtroom as they had knowledge of upcoming graphic testimony from the medical examiner.

I was at the Hayes trial when similar testimony was given by the same medical examiner Dr. Wayne Carver.
Unfortunately on day one of that testimony in Hayes trial, the Petit and extended family did not seem to be forewarned of the extremely detailed and graphic descriptions of the autopsy's performed on eleven year old Michaela.

I've heard medical examiners testimony but never had I heard this degree of detail regarding things such as how the body was opened etc. In my opinion it was more information than the jurors needed, rather than proffering and focusing on the results of the autopsy, Mr Carver is apparently so immersed in his profession seemed to have lost sight of the layman's reaction to morbid details about how he cut open the ribs of a child's body. Many reporters and other people in attendance at that trial were clearly taken aback by the grisly details being so perfunctorily described. A good portion of Carver' testimony was about the methodology that he and his assistants used in performing the autopsy as opposed to the findings which were in effect,what really mattered to the Case and the Jury.

After that first excruciating day of Carvers testimony regarding Michaela's autopsy, Dr Petit and other family members accompanied at first by a Victim's advocate, left the courtroom just prior to any detailed forensic
testimony concerning Michalea,Hayely or Jennifer Petit. Some family members also left the courtroom prior to testimony concerning the sexually explicit cellphone photos taken of Michaela and one that appeared to be Hayley. I do remember vividly , the police officer that describe the cell photos one by one on the stand
whispering I'm sorry to Dr Petit as he walked away from the witness stand.
Now while I don't expect every witness who has potentially upsetting testimony about the Petit children to
whisper apologies to William Petit, I did expect a lot more sensitivity of behalf of the medical examiner whilst launching into such needless blow by blow account of his autopsy methods.

And here we are once again at the same painful juncture within Joshau Komisarjevsky's trial,
However this trial has been considerably less humane for the family of the victims,as well as the one surviving victim himself William Petit Jr.

The reason for the difference is simple; this trial has become a free for all, a platform for public defender
Jeremiah Donovan, the same attorney who came played the sensitive, empathetic lawyer just after the murders occurred and the announcements were being made as to who would be representing whom within States Attorneys office. His words still ring in my ear " I too have a beloved wife and daughters he said, sounding as sympathetic as possible,yet still reiterating his intention of " giving Joshua the vigorous defense that he is entitled to by law"

If anyone were to pre-suppose which attorney would be the more problematic and aggressive it would have
been the clearly more pugnacious Attorney Thomas Ulmann who unlike Donovan made no such attempt at appearing empathetic, and indeed started off swinging so to speak,from the get go;

At Hayes probable cause hearing, which was technically waived, Ullmann used the court time nonetheless to air his complaints regarding the medias coverage of the murders and he'd actually had figures regarding how many online blogs had articles about the crimes in them. I remember thinking, well if your client hadn't raped and murdered a mother of two after she complied with you and your sidekicks demands, and then murdered her two innocent daughters by pouring gasoline on and around them and their bed linens...the articles would not be written. In the meantime Mr Ullmann was pushing for a Gag order which was in fact placed upon the case at a later date.

His arrogant best defense is an offense approach to the crimes,painting his admitted rapist/ murderer,client
as a victim - in this case of the media is far too common but rarely is it taken to the type of extremes that Komisarjevsky's lead counsel is taking.

At some point midway through the pre-trial process, actually as Komisarjevsky's trial date neared, Jerry
Donovan decided that he would peel off the whole sensitive decent attorney just doing my job act,
and try to make a name for himself by being an rabid contrarian in such a willy nilly fashion that defies logic,
not to mention good lawyering.

He has been perpetually arguing against things that are not even remotely arguable, floundering,throwing as much nonsense out hoping that something sticks, providing him with ammunition for a mistrial or a valid appeal.

This latest bid for a mistrial based upon the Petit family leaving the courtroom prior to the presentation of
upcoming disturbing testimony, shows a lawyer that is desperate grasping at straws. His assertion that
the"en mass "departure of the victims family was"highly prejudicial to his client" in the first place is ludicrous,
but to go that one step further and attempt to move for a mistrial based upon it, this shows a serious lapse in Judgement for this defense,and it's far from the first of it's kind.

Last weeks Donovan also moved for a mistrial claiming that Judge Blue's concern for a Juror who was shaken and crying over the crime scene photos of Michaela's body,compromised the entire trial, once again
citing something innocuous and indeed a often necessary component of any violent crime trial especially involving abuse and murder of minor children.

Attorney Donovan claimed that the Judge Blue' address the court, citing that one of the jurors is having a hard time and thus this would be a good time to end the days proceedings" was again " highly prejudicial to his client"

Sep 25, 2011

(Left) Petit Home as victims are removed/( Righ) Komisarjevsky after arrest

I too, have considered the powerful concept of lookism in this trial, especially after the Casey Anthony case.

I recall immediately following the announcement of these terrible murders, the accompanying mugshots of the two men caught fleeing the Petit murder scene splashed all over the internet, Televison and newspapers; Nearly everyone's reflexive assumption was that Steven Hayes, the older, thuggish looking suspect was likely the "leader" ,
in these crimes and the younger less brutish looking Komisarjevsky, the second hand-man.
In reality, it was the reverse.

When some basic facts regarding the crimes began to slowly leak out, many of us especially geographically closest to the crimes, quickly figured out that it was Joshua Komisarjevsky, the younger slender man who was indeed the instigator. It was he who targeted the Petit girls, he who ran the show and indeed, made the crimes happen. Hayes was admittedley a man who obviously had sexually predatorial fantasies, which Komisarjevsky made use of, but I believe he was a conveinent accomplice who if need be would take the fall for the crimes.
Writer John Rook of the Cheshire Herald article had this important observation;
;"Looking the part can go a long way in cases like this. Hayes couldn't help but remind people of the guy walking along the sidewalk at night that makes you cross to the other side.

"Komisarjevsky might remind people of their favorite nephew, or the friend of their son. If just one person on that jury decides Komisarjevsky looks too innocent to have meant for anyone to die, and it must have been that big, nasty-looking Hayes who drove things over the edge, the prosecution's effort to secure the death penalty will go up in flames.

What is painfully obvious, though, is that Komisarjevsky, besides being a low-life thief, was also a sexual degenerate. On the recorded tapes, he talks about Michaela Petit frequently, how he was impressed with her calm demeanor, how he spoke with her often over the course of the evening, visiting her in her room on several occasions to “check on her” and then, ultimately, sexually assaulting her the first moment he had a chance.

This deviant behavior should call into question any assertions on his part that he simply wanted to “get the money and go” and did not want anything to escalate. It was he who beat Dr. William Petit over the head with a bat. It was he who sent Hayes out to get gasoline, and then to take Hawk-Petit to withdraw money.

It was he who manipulated the circumstances to be alone with an 11-year old girl in order to molest her. The idea that, somewhere, Komisarjevsky was willing to draw a line seems so absurd as to defy logic. The notion that he was appalled at the idea of killing the women, one off whom he had just violated, would be laughable if the circumstances were not so horrible to begin with. "

Precisely and Kudos to this writer for his insight.

Another thing to consider is that the fact that Hayes looked thug-like and scary with his shaved head and mean countenance, could very well be one of the reasons that Komisarjevsky picked him in the first place; to accomplice him with this home invasion. He knew he needed size and muscle to help him get control over the house and a fall guy for the crimes, it would be H. Prior to Hayes incarceration after the crimes he'd been extremely stocky and muscled. Komisarjevsky was/is rail thin and not exactly a pillar of strength; He even admitted having a difficult time when Hayley at some point in the kidnapping broke loose of her binds and tried to call 911, Komisarjevsky actually had to call out to Hayes to help get her tied back down to her bed as he was losing the struggle by himself"

This piece of information culled from a komisarjevsky interview with writer Brian MacDonald bothered me for days and made e very angry. Hayley almost got away! Not just once but again, when she apparently broke her binds just as the fire was lit and tragically she ran straight into the line of gasoline fire. It was just too much for her and it broke my heart that she was such a fighter and a courageous woman.

Both men assumed originally that Dr Petit would be killed along with the rest of the family but and that would have meant that if komisarjevsky killed off Hayes, Hayes could never break and talk with police to catch a deal etc), or anyone else about his role in the crimes. Also Komisarjevsky wouldn't have to share a penny of the15000 which happened to be the exact amount of money he cited to his girlfriend and everyone else that he needed to bring her back down to Connecticut.money which he'd wanted for splitting his latest teenage gal pal back to Connecticut where they could live together

Sociopaths are highly manipulative and Komisarjevsky has already proven his amazing capacity for manipulation and deception by giving three and four versions of both the motives for the crimes and the actual crimes themselves, via his statements to police, his interviews with writer Brian MacDonald, and what he is now trying to now pass off as the 'truth" through his lawyers without testifying. Donovan Bansley etc have been using their plethora of motions as a way for komisarjevsky to testify without the missteps that being Cross examined would surely bring him. Oh what a tangled web we weave comes to mind.

While reading this article and even before the article I immediately thought about the Casey Anthony case, which I believe was greatly affected by lookism and genderism, although other factors also contributed to the shocking not guilty verdict; It was a mostly circumstantial case unlike the Petit case where the men were almost running out of a burning home where one body lay dea from starngulation and the two children literally dying fom the carefully set fire.

But like Komisarjevsky, Casey Anthony's parents. at least her mother at a certain juncture, obviously began to enable and cover up for her adult child and this is what sealed that verdict in my opinion. One of the The biggest parental lies that affected the case was Mrs Anthony stating under oath that she looked up "Chloroform" in the family computer-which is clearly a lie and she'd never previously claimed this prior to that point on the stand. As well she swore that Caylee could climb the steps to the family pool, and as well this seemed highly unlikely.

Joshua Komisrajevsky's parents seemed to enable his criminal life prior to the Petit murders and this contributed to a sociopath's feeling of invincibility. Well Ive got them fooled:
Case in point his mother claimed she knews he was up to no good that night dressed in a dark hoodie in July and leaving the house at 11 pm to meeet Hayes in a bar about a job" Komisarjevsky had half custody of a five year old daughter whom his parents clearly babtysat for whilst he was raping robbing and murdering the Petit family. He was on parole at the time of the murders having just had his ankle bracelet removed 2 days prior. The evening before was spent showing Hayes the ropes regarding how easy it was to gain accesss into the nicer suburban homes of the overly trusting Cheshire residents. This all smacks of complete enabling on the part of komisarjevskys parents and this is more common than one would think.

Also in question is why komisarjevsky beat Dr Petit so severely, he states that the father was big and Hayes didnt think he could get that close without making too much noise? That sounds like his own logic as Hayes certainly wasnt the discermning home invader of the two. The bilco door was unlocked reportedly, Komisarjevsky entered and Hayes stayed outside watching through the sunroom glass as Komisarjevsky beat him over ten times with the bat while William Petit lay sleeeping. His explanation to police was classic sociopath as well. He blamed Petit indirectly for yelling put in terrible pain as his head was smashed repeatedly, " as hard as I could as if chopping wood" (Thatstatement he made to writer Brian Macdonald)

In his"journals"andinterviews with Macdonald, he gave yet another explanation for the overkill beating and these centered around a concept he undoubtedly picked up in a book somewhere or forced visits with psychologists when he began criminal acts such as settting fire to abandoned gas stations, and peeping into girls windows while perched in trees outside thier homes. And this was just the begginning.
He claimed to writer Brain Macdonald years after he'd had time to contemplate something
more reasonable than I am a sadistic pyschopath, "all of the rage I held in my whole life came pouring out" as I smashed his head with the bat"

Any rage he felt towards Dr Petit at that moment was a practical matter, this man was the only thing between himself and what he came for - Michaela Petit , as well as possibly Hayely, and Jennifer Petit
whom he used to lure Hayes in, get him riled up for the home invasion ie house full of attractive females(remember Hayes wasnt with komisarjevsky when he stalked and followed the petit women home from the market that day),All this ensnared his help as well, and quite possibly, serving as a perfect fall guy in the process.

The one genuine reason for komisarjevsky''s long standing anger which helped fuel the robbery beating kidnapping and eventual murders, I believe centered around his notion of the the haves and the have nots, with him obviously feeling relegated to the latter. A Cheshire native his whole life Komisarjevsky came from a modest blue collar family and it became clear through his robberies that he gravitated towards upscale homes which he seemed more intent to break into, invade, rather than focusing on stealing or even selling what he did steal. At one point prior to his incarceration for a second string of robberies wherupon the homeowners were almost always home, hordes of stolen items from hundreds of area break ins were recovered fom his then girlfriend's parents basement. This shows trophyism as opposed to a burglar looking for strictly monetary gain.

What better way to get back at the upper middle classes, whose homes he had been sneaking in and out of since he was a kid stealing spying watching peeping tom. Night vision goggles. Stealing mementos, lingerie framed photos with pretty women. It is a invasion - an act of power, control. And it should have been caught by the Connecticut Parole Board who gave this man early release parole with only one single report from his latest arrest. Psychiatric reviews should have taken place long before any one set this man free from the Connecticut dept of corrections, to prey upon others. In reality he was paroled administratively" as Hayes was, meaning that neither inmate was present at the parole hearing, as was the standard custom at the time.

These behaviors were all symptomology of voyeurism and a sexual predator in the making. Only breaking into houses whereupon the occupants were home is a decidedly unusual crime, certainly not one of the drug addict that komisarjevsky claimed to be, citing this as the reason for his many many robberies. In the meantime besides Marijuanna there was little to any proof that he was adducted to nor even used hard drugs. This speaks volumes of Komisarjevsky's need and desire for power over others. These home break-ins were" for fun"

In the Petit crimes he knew that his name was the first that would come up with the Cheshire police when they found out about these crimes. His DNA was the first to be compromised, as he was the first man sexually absuing any of the girls. It wasn't until the very end of the crime spree after the bank money was procured and in the home that Hayes sexually assaulted Mrs Petit. According to Hayes, Komisrajevsky said " take care of her" meaning kill her as she was a witness.

However this case is much different in several key ways; Komisarjevsky's taped confession gave the jury a snapshot of this man without all of his lawyers preparations. Komisarjevsky's flat detached demeanor that does not match his claims of being horrified at the idea of the three girls being murdered, especially burned to death. And the " no one will die by my hand today its not going to happen." remark he claimed to have made to Hayes would be laughable if the subject werent so horrendous.

He couldnt help but let slip his obsession with Michaela Petit, who was the object of his sexual fixation and indeed the main motivator for these crimes. He makes numerous mentions of checking on Michaela in her bedroom, giving her water," letting" her use the bathroom and talking with her.

He tries to pass off his visits with her with various rationale including the need to get away from Hayes's annoying behaviors which he considered unproffesional and likely to get the pair caught, such as passsing in front of windows where neighbors could spot him, and making a huge racket, trashing the home looking for jewelery and other valuables. Komisrajevsky states that he only was interested in cash to the detective.

Joshua Komisrajevsky had the most to lose at every juncture throughout the invasion, he beat Dr Petit severely, he molested and took photos of Micheala and then finally after her mother left the house, he took a photo of Hayely nude from the waist down and he sexually assaulted Michaela and forced her to shower and probably bathe in an effort to remove any DNA in her little body.

Komisarjevsky admitted to writer Brian MacDonald that he had seriously been considering killing Hayes after the crimes. He claimed that this was because of Hayes's stupidity in taking off his gloves at some point during the invasion, leaving prints somewhere in the house. This is absolute nonsense.I am certain that komisarjevsky had no intention of sharing the 15,000,00 with Hayes, and even more importantly I believe that he intended all along for Hayes to be the fall guy for the entire crime spree.

He had never left the house in daylight, to be seen by neighbors, bank cameras, gas station attendants or cameras. Encouraging Hayes to kill Mrs Petit is very possible. The so-called proposition that Komisarjevsky claims in the tapes he rejected, regarding Hayes's idea that he kill the mother and Komisarjevsky kill the girls" makes sense but again this is a sociopath manipulating the facts again to appear the innocent less culpable offender. Everything points to this man calling the shots. If not Steven Hayes would ahve taken off with the money the moment it was in his possesion. If he wanted Jennifer Petit dead so badly he could have killed her away from the house somewhere and taken off. This did not happen and this speaks a whole lot louder than any of Joshau Komisarjevsky's assertations that it was Hayes who wanted everyone dead.

Sep 22, 2011

No wonder, Komisarjevsky lawyers fought so hard to keep their clients statements to the Cheshire Police out of this trial: In todays testimony, taped statements of Komisarjevsky speaking to to Police detective about the crimes were played for the Jury; There were new disturbing admissions regarding Komisarjevsky's sexual assault of 11 year old Michaela Petit, as well as an overall flat, detached affect that left the listener with a much clearer picture of this man's true nature.

Attorney Donovan tried unsuccessfuly to ban the statements, and the tape from evidence in pre-trial motions to no avail. The Judge found no valid legal criteria for disallowinging Komisarjevsky's statements.

It should be noted that Komisarjevsky had a history of being very chatty with Police about his previous crimes when arrested, almost all those charges were for breaking and entering, robbery larceny.
He almost seemed as if he wanted to boast to policr about some of the finer details of those prior break-ins.

The taped statements had komisrajevsky pointing the finger at his accomplice Hayes for escalating the crimes to murder citing that noone was supposed to get hurt, despite the fact that he admitted to drawing the first blood as it were by breaking in thru a broken bjulkhead lock and tiptoing up the steps to the sunroom where hed already spotted William Petit sleeping from outsdie the home with Hayes. He'd instructed Hayes to wait for him to let him in via a door to the house. Komisarjevsky had grabbed a baseball bat from the basement and stood over the sleepinvg Petit for a minute before beginning to club him over the head approximately 10 times despite massive blood spray (petit was on a blood thinner coumadin for prophalytic reasons) and claimed he just wanted him to shut up and stop yelling. In his quotes to

But the facts are that it was Komisrajevsky who had the most to worry about insofar as DNA, particularly at that point especialy, first he had beaten Dr Petit over the head with a bat and there was a great deal of blood spray. he had quietly molesting Michaela on and off from the early morning hours, taking cell phone photos of her semi nude, when Hayes left the house under Komisarjevsky's direction, to purchase containers of gasoline at a gas station two towns away.

This was likely an attempt to cover tracks because after the murders police would canvasss all local gas station video tapes, looking for a suspect who bought gasoline in containers. In fact Hayes got lost three times on his way back to the Petit home, and cell phone records showed that komisarjevsky who lived in Chesire his whole life, had to give Hayes directions back to the house.

I believe that it was no cooincidence that Komisrajevsky sent Hayes out for the Gasoline, Hayes was the fall guy for the much shrewder komisarjevsky. He sent Hayes to do all of the dirty work that would keep hayes's face out in the public and his own well known face out hidden. It was Hayes on the Gas station video tape filling up the contianers. It was Hayes on the video, putting gas into the Petit video.

Komisarjevsky sent Hayes out to the bank with Mrs Petit to procure the money, knowing that if Petit di drop the dime on them, hayes would be the person nabbed immediately giving Komisarjevsky time to escape. Also having Mrs Petit out of the house gave komisrajevsky the opportunity to do what he really beeen waiting for a full sexual assault of Michaela Petit, which he'd refrained from as long as her mother was within earshot, he needed Jennifer Petit to trust him and he needed her compliance; raping her daughter would have certainly cost ghim both. This is what makes komisarjevsky so much more evil then Hayes; he manipulated and orchestrated the entire situation to his benifit and everyone involved including his own "partner"

While Hayes was at the bank with Mrs Petit Komisarjevsky also took one single cell phone photo of what is believed a sexual photograph of Hayely Petit, (the photo taking required him to remove her shorts and re-tie her legs (which had been tied according to her and hayes) both before and aftre the photo. That photo we learned within the Hayes trial was time stamped just after Hayes and Mrs. Petit left the house for the bank.
It appears that komisatjevsky ran like a bat out of hell through the Petit house, molesting Hayely in order to create a trophy for himself and continuing on to sexually assault Michaela Petit then made her shower in order to try to get rid of as much of his DNA as he could. In the Hyes trial a forenisc scientist mentioned that Michala;'s body had semen in her rectum, at which point the Petit family and many other people became visibly and audibly extremely upset. We all knew that Michale had been komisarjevsky's target all along. He admmtted such to various people directly and inadvertantly. His photo of Hayely was an oppportunistic act and likely he was also trying to deman her and show her who was in charge" This as he'd made several references to Hayelys refusal to submit to he or Hayes and that she remained defiant throughout the entire ordeal. This likely threatened komisarjevsky but also made him angry; it is also why he never really saw Hayely as an object for his sexual desires, nor did Hayes likely. Hayely Petit was a strong confident intelligent young women. All of these qualities were threatening to men who desired to rape

This is why he likely made any admissions at all to police about preforming Oral sex on Michaela; There is a
is a reason for everything this seasoned predator admited to I was convinced that he had fully sexually assaulted Michaela but when we found out last year that shed been sodomized I was taken aback as if slapped and I actually cried for hours. I should have seen it coming as rape is reall about power and control, not sex and this was komisarjevsky exersizing his complete power over an 11 year old tied up girl who he'd lulled into a false sense of security---just as he did her mother....just as he is trying to do with the ury.
HOwever we unlike the jury perhaps know certain things such as the overall picture of komisarjevsky's many conflicting admisssions. From his letters and interviews with writer Brain Macodnald to his prison Journals" to his statements to Police which thank god are taped so that all appreciate the obvious conflict between his tone, his obvious detachment and lack of conscience over the end result of his home invasion gone "terribly wrong" ) and the words he is saying. As well as the second hand information that we have been spoon fed by komisarjevsky's rabid lawyers who seem to grow more despearet with every passing day in court.

Jerimiah Donovan komisarjevsky's lead attorney held an impromptu press conference last year literally upon the steps of steven Hayes trial, the media hordes were gathered en masse, and in absolute violation of Judge Fsanos Gag order placed on the details of the case 2 years earlier, with a soft spoken humble sounding affect, reminiscent of his clients drama training, Donovan proceeded to addresss forenisci evidence regarding the sexual assault of little 11 year old Michalea Petit evidence that had just been presented that very afternoon which the media the jury and the Petit family were all still reeling from.

Mr Donovan was using the media gathering to basically lie using a transparent excuse that he had little choice re the platform because the Petit family had shut he and his other defense attorneys out, and asked the court to keep them away from them. So using this reason this seasoned public defender and prosecutor for many years, decided to completely break a long standing gag on the case, which was put in place to protect his client presumably, in order to get a fiar trial without all of the details of the case becoming oublic knowledge prior to the trial. Well Donovan et all decided after hearing the forenisic evidencve presnted re Michaleas sexual assault that thyey needed to run damage control and fast. They couldnt have komisarjebvskys potentia;l jury pool taimnted walking around believing that he socomized an 11 year old child.
It was a vulgar display of lawyers manipulation at it's absolute worst. Unprofesional and despuicable. The whole reason that telivison cameras were not allowed int he courtroom was because among the charges was sexual assaults of minors. This attorney decided he'd throw michaela Petits rights out the window her familys rights as well and violate a gag order which should have led to his being held in contempt of court immediately and sentenced to at least several days in jail.

If the state puilled a stunt like that one could only imagine pugnacious Donovans reaction to it both verbally as well as through his now infamous -and thus ridiculous deluge of empty legal motions.

didnt count on my demons getting the better of me" he wrote in one of his jailhouse journals" that were really ramblings designed either to be read by writer Macdonald or startegically placed "diaries to be confiscated by prison officials and poured over by the state.

disturbing "admissions" regarding his sexual abuse of eleven year old Michaela Petit, one episode of several, committed sometime before pouring gas on her and her bed covers and setting her afire, tied to her bed in an obvious effort to destroy any DNA left on, or near her body. One hair, one clothing fiber

Komisarjevsky made this statements to Police willingly, after he had been taken intocustody, caught fleeing the murder scene, driving the very same Petit family mini van that Michaela Hayely and Jennifer were driving when he first targeted and stalked the women at an area supermarket. He then followed them back to thier home from a distance in his fathers truck.

I have always assumed that the public was only aware of a fraction of the actual criminal activity that occurred at the Petit's home on July 23rd 2007, even after the trial of Steven Hayes; We were dealing with two extremely self serving personality-disordered predators, who although, ay some point clicked with eachother, it was undoubtedly a connection of the base kind: shared criminal/predatory fantasies or perhaps even boasting regarding past sexual crimes that one or both men had yet to even be convicted or arrested for.

It wouldn't be the first time that a career felon like either of these men, had not been caught for scads of other crimes theyd committed - crimes like child abduction, sexual assault, felony assault or murder.
Case in point, Joseph Duncan, who, when first arrested for the Groene family murders and the dissapearence of Dylan Groene, was scoffed at by a detective familiar with his most recent arrest- for an attempted child fondling in a playground.

A pundit at the time was adamant that there was no way that Duncan committed these heinous murders, certainly not by himself; he was a child molester the lowest kind of criminal on the food chain"
A groper, an exhibitionist -yes, but killing an entire family bludgeuning them with a hammer, then kidnapping the two youngest by himself, taking them over state lines deep into the mountains of Montana, where it turned out he sexually abused both children for weeks and eventually shot little Dylan Groene in the stomach with a shotgun, for no apparent reason, other than to quench his sadistic need for power over those smaller and weaker than he. Then, in front of his beloved sister, while the boy begged for his life, Duncan shot him again in the head with a pistol.

Shasta was rescued a week later when a waitress spotted the girl with Duncan at a Denny's restaurant at 2 am in the morning just outside Cour de lene the town shed lived in and was abducted from. Police found addressed on Duncans GPS all of which had small children living in them. He told Shasta he was going to
kidnapp dozens of children and kill them all like he did her brother.

The scariest part of all of this is that it turned out that this man had only a conviction record for sexual assault which he'd committed 25 years prior when he was just 17. He had kidnapped younger boy tied him up sexually assaulted and tortured him at gunpoint. had actually committed at least 6 child rapes and murders all while he was on Parole, according to him. Police have since tied him to the murder of Anthony Martinez in California thanks in part to a blogger named Steve Huff, and a partial thumbprint later found on some duct tape used to bind poor little Anthony. He also shared detailed information about other child abductions and murders he committed with the now lone 8 year old Shasta -she was an excellent witness reiterating

I turn to Hayes and the fact that he had a history of only frequenting prostitutes for his "needs" and this shows me a man with serious issues with women, including but not limited to objectifying them. He had a long criminal history that did include assault as well as some weapons charges, these charges were dropped in several of his many many "plea deals," whereupon a criminal pleads guilty in exchange for generally a lowering of the severity of the criminal charges and the corresponding severity of the prison sentence.

This public safety shortcut is designed to save money, clear the docket and grant the presiding prosecutor a conviction...of some sort anyway, albeit one that does not reflect the severity of the crimes actually committed thereby leaving a dangerous man with a criminal record that has no official notation of history of violence and or willingness to use weapons when available.

In komisarjevsky's case, his history with the female gender was even more ominous, and starting at a very young age-another very bad sign. According to a Cheshire police detective komisarjevsky harassed and stalked and literally a young local girl whom he developed a sexual interest in his later teenage years. According to the detective komisarjevsky literally made this poor girl miserable by such things as climbing up trees in her yard or across the street in order to spy her with binoculars. Despite warnings from the girls parents his parents and police,Komisrajevsky was not daunted, and it wasn't until he found a new target that he finally left the girl alone.

The girls, including the mother of his child, were always much younger a sign of emotional immaturity and an unwillingness to become involved with an equal- a woman of his own age was too much of a threat to komisarjevsky who in classic pedophilia style would rather play the older bad boy to emotionally underdeveloped girls who were already at least 6-10 years younger than him and likely had self esteem issues as well. Many Predators and abusers would seem have a built in antenna for women/girls who have submissive qualities as opposed to their age appropriate peers, as well as those who suffer from confidence and self-esteem problems; these are the girls who make the best " targets" or "victims" .

Joshua Komisarjevsky skipped this and simply went right for the girls just exiting puberty, such as girlfriend Carolyn Meisal the sister of another younger girl he dated whom he met while the pair visited in prison of all things. It Mas this girl for whom Komisarjevsky supposedly bitterly pined for and vowed that he would do anything to bring her back to Connecticut after her parents wisely moved her far away from the likes of komisarjevsky, to the state of Arkansas, this whilst he was on his last leg of a severely shortened sentence c/o a parole board that made all of its parole decisions without any actual interaction with the inmate who was "up for parole"

This was called administrative parole and is as irresponsible as it is reckless.. It is even more reckless when added to the fact that none of the parole board members responsible for makings these ;life and death decisions every week, made them without the benefit of the particular inmates up for parole, criminal history files. They were lucky if they got a recent arrest report according to one parole officer at that time.
This issue was supposedly just coming to a head at exactly the time that komisarjevsky and Hayes were paroled, according to head prosecutor for the state Kevin Kane, who was trying to fix the dangerous issue which was actually being caused by conflicts over what department would pay for the copies of the would be parolees criminal history files, and who would put this information together for that matter?
Also an obstacle was that much of the parolees criminal history/prison information that was crucial to the parole board decisions. was not computerized and was manuallyy filed away in Meriden shortly after a criminal case was "resolved" This meant that certain pieces of that parolees files would have to be pulled from a huge warehouse of paperwork. Kevin Kane was in the middle of this crisis when the Petit murders occurred

Komisarjevsky was in his teens and already getting in trouble with the law. He set an abandoned gas station on fire at the age of 14--fire setting is part of a triad of symptoms for Conduct disorder and Defiant disorder, both of which are age appropriate pre-cursors to full blown Sociopathology, once known as psychopaths.
The most prevalent quality in the sociopath is deception, manipulating and a chronic disregard for rules and the rights of others. They can also be very articulate and charming when need be, and they can feign humility quite easily as komisarjevsky did at his sentencing hearing for his last string of break ins. Luckily the judge presiding didn't fall for it,despite his parents as usual in court supporting him, looking for all the world like props, holding his newborn infant child who he'd impregnated his then 15 year old ex gal pal with - he was 23 at that time.

The Judge was well seasoned and world-wise to Komisarjevskys type ; Sadly these honed manipulative qualities are what undoubtedly fooled Jennifer Petit. I recall Dr Petit saying that the man who did all the talking, the one who had struck him in the head with the bat, had ised a soothing and reassuring tone earlier saying we just want some money...until he heard thumps and moaning coming from above him in the cellar where he lay tied to a pole.

After he yelled up the steps hey!" That voice now sounding totally different and sinister Petit recalled shouted back at him don't worry it ll all be over soon!"

It is a fitting irony that Joshua komisarjevsky's cruel sadistic words designed to frighten and taunt , this while his wife was being murdered no less---that is how "shocked" he was over Hayes strangling Mrs Petit as he tried to later claim to Police. These are the things that need to be focused upon,

I recall reading somewhere in the book or his " journals" (another manipulation) Komisarjevsky's summation of these horrid crimes.

'So I hit a guy with a bat, I emotionally scarred a young girl" and I stole some money"
The only thing missing were the words "Big deal!" I remember my instinctual rage upon reading those lines a man, with all that time to think about what he had set into motion, by targeting Mrs Petit and her daughters that fateful night at Stop and Shop, came up with that facile interpretation. .

" No one was supposed to get hurt" he claims and yet he brought instruments of bondage ie zip-ties rope 9 mm lookalike pellet gun. And he alone drew the first blood that evening. And it was overkill it very nearly took a life within 3 minutes of entering a sleeping mans domicile.

We can see the farce in ignoring the glaring truth, Joshua komisarjevsky alone hand picked this family because He " liked the way the younger Petit girl looked"

Sep 20, 2011

Day two of the Komisarjevsky trial and attorney Jeremiah Donovan continues to try to draw attention to himself through whatever means possible.

For the second day in a row, Donovan harped about the small heart-shaped pins that the Petit family were wearing to court. The pins depict three doves which form a heart shape, they are the official logo of The Petit Family Foundation a Local charity formed to honor the spirit of activism and kindness embraced by Jennifer Petit and her two daughters.

Then there was the extraordinary rudeness that Donovan exhibited during his cross of victim and survivor, William Petit Jr. He carried on what could have, and indeed should have, been a respectful line of questioning with what appeared a prosecutorial zeal that contrasted obscenely with Petit's clearly still grief stricken countenance and carriage.

The Attorney used sarcastic snipes and tried to bait Dr Petit, a man who not only lost his wife and children to terrible violence, but also sustained permanent life altering injuries at the hands of Donovan's client, a man who has repeatedly admitted to committing the very first acts of violence in the early morning hours of July 23 2007. Despite this fact, a constant refrain of his defense including Donovan himself, is that
"no-one was supposed to get hurt"

Dr. Petit appeared somber but undeterred he answered Donovan's rapid fire questioning with aplomb, raw grief clear upon his face, he refused to be drawn in by Donovan's ugly tactics.

In the meantime... Donovan's client Joshua Komisarjevsky, appeared relaxed and disaffected, wearing a suit and tie and donning a fresh new haircut, posed quite a contrast to the evidenciary photos of the black Jeans and dark hoodie, that Police say the fleeeing komisarjevsky was wearing when arrested, along with 2 pair of latex gloves and a pair of workman's gloves. We also saw photos of the wooden baseball bat that Komisarjevsky used as he struck the slumbering and helpless William Petit "about 8-10 times, as hard as I could,as if chopping wood".

( quote from Komisarjevsky during an interview with writer Brian MacDonald )

As disgraceful as it was for Joshua Komisarjevsky's lead attorney to begin his capital murder trial with attacks upon the surviving victim and his family, I believe that it will ultimately only serve the prosecution and therefore, Justice.

What we saw today were Lawyers, not attorneys who, in an attempt to "win", are willing to do or say anything, including trying to vilify that which cannot be vilified.

It actually hearkens back to the way that rape victims were once so regularly attacked by defense attorneys for the rapist, that only a small courageous percentagee ever reported being raped to Police, so well known was this ugly phenomenon. When the sexual assault was so aggravated and violent that the victim required hospitalization, she rarely stayed around to testify. How many serial killers that began as rapists were so emboldened by the ease in which they escaped arrest or detection, largely due to this well known despicable courtroom tactic?

If this is what these attorneys wish their legacy to be, then so be it. I feel pity for their female relatives, daughters, granddaughters, wives, nieces Not only is what they are doing adding insult to terrible injury, but it is also an utterly flawed defense. It actually doesn't even qualify as a defense.

Thus afternoon, Jeremiah Donovan verbally assailed the Petit's and their extended family members for wearing, of all things, small pins depicting three Doves - one Dove larger than the other two has one large wing open, encompassing them.

The pins are modest in size, tasteful and should be no threat to Attorney Donovan nor the Komisarjevsky Defense. In fact they aren't. If Donovan and Company truly felt that they were, he would not continuously bring the the Jury's, attention to these pins. He is being what is commonly referred to as a harpy.

In his opening statement, Donovan made a pointed, negative reference to the Petit family, referring to them and their extended family's as " The Petit Posse" . The irony is not lost on many people in attendence; A less Posse-like family could not be found ; This family, with grief still deeply etched all over their faces. wearing small pins that are symbols of the spirits of their loved ones, each one murdered, targeted by defendentJoshua Komisarjevsky. He spotted the attractive girls as they shopped at an area supermarket; he stalked themhe followed them home,driving from a distance he spied the layout of their house, searching for easy or convenient entry points.

Then he called his burly recent B and E accomplice, Steven Hayes. Komisarjevsky excitedly described the attractive blond young looking mother who he thought that Steven Hayes would like He himself liked the way the younger Petit girl looked.

Michaela was eleven.

This is why Jeremiah Donovan focuses on Dove pins.
The entire Komisarjevsky defense, spear headed by Donovan, has spent the better part of the year filing for the most part - petty vapid motions, such as the motion to ban anyone from wearing the Petit family foundation pins to court. Judge Blue denied that motion as any sane Judge would .
Attorney Donovan appears to share a narcissistic nature with his client, he has demonstrated time and again what appears an ego based need for attention. Thus far he has garnered this attention via broken gag orders, petty verbal attacks, and motions with no teeth designed to distract and clog up the process.

It is not as if this is all a complete surprise.

In a recent article in the New York Times, one of attorney Donovan's former colleagues noted that "Jerry is in this for the challenge, he loves a challenge."
."

What is clear is that attorney Donovan has obviously connected with Joshua Komisarjevsky on more than one level, a textbook sociopath with severe narcissistic traits. A man who openly shared with his friends, acquaintances, even Police, that he only enjoyed breaking into houses when people were in them.
He explained that otherwise" he found his breaking and entering exploits, too boring".

Sep 15, 2011

Lawyers for Joshua Komisarjevsky, refused to officially enter a plea for their client today at a hearing where the State re-filed 17 charges, changing Komisarjevsky's status to principle as opposed to accessory, in various counts of the criminal charges against him.

The counts included the kidnappings of the two Petit minor girls, the sexual assault and murder of Michaela Petit, the murder of 17 year old Hayley Petit and the only survivor of Komisarjevsky's planned evening of rape, robbery and criminal rampage.

Prosecutors, also changed Komisarjevsky's status for the kidnapping and murder of Jennifer Petit. According to Steven Hayes, Komisarjevsky helped him tie up Mrs. Petit the moment that she and Hayes returned from the Bank with the 15,000. Komisarjevsky had assured Mrs Petit that the money was all that the men wanted and that once procured, it would ensure the safety of her family, and the men's departure.

This was obviously not the men's plan; Komisarjevsky had just left his DNA on and in 11 year old Michaela Petit, as well as trace, be it hair skin clothing fibers etc near Hayley, both girls were found in Komisarjevsky's cell phone in varying stages of undress. Hayley's photo was timestamped just after 9:00 AM, moments after Steven Hayes left for the bank with Mrs Petit. Why Komisarjevsky has not been charged with sexual assault of Hayley remains a mystery to me, as it is clear that at the very least he took nude photos of Hayley shortly before he sexually assaulted Michaela, both while Steven Hayes and Jennifer Petit were at the Bank.\

The photo taking is a common behavior of sexual predators, who use the photos to relive thier crimes long after they have murdered their victims. This, along with tying Hayley in provocative position is legally considered a sexual crime. He obviously put her clothing back on before tying her back to her bed because her partially burnt body was found in shorts and a t-shirt.

Investigators testifying at the Hayes trial believe that Hayely escaped her binds at the last moment, but having been doused in gasoline she had nowhere to run but directly into the path of the strategically poured line of fire.

In today's hearing, Komisarjevsky's lawyers " allowed" the court to formally enter a not guilty plea for thier client, in their stead. This latest tack of refusing to enter a plea is supposed to somehow oppose the fact that their recent motion asking for a second probable cause hearing, was denied by Judge Blue, who laid out his reasoning very succinctly, Denial for 2nd Probable cause hearing

These very same attorneys, Donovan and Bansford, waived Komisarjevsky's original probable cause hearing, shortly after the Assaults and Murders, citing to press, that "there are many strategic reasons for waiving a probable cause hearing." It is in fact, a legal strategy in certain violent crime cases where the evidenciary details that have enabled the state to charge the defendent, are so brutal, so severe, that the Attorneys do not want those details read aloud, one by one, in front of the press whose members were present in both Hayes and Komisarjevsky's probable cause hearings in 2007.

Four years have past since Komisarjevskys attorneys waived his right to that hearing most and of the details of these crimes have since become public, Joshua Komisarjevsky, who broke the long standing gag order on the case by corresponding and\interviewing with crime writer Brian MacDonald, for the purpose of a quickie- published paperback based solely upon Komisarjevskly's version of the crimes. Naturally he placed the ownice for the worst of the capital crime upon his accomplice Steven Hayes, lies that have been since disproven within the forensic evidence presented at Mr Hayes' trial.

In the book Komisarjevsky would sometimes forget himself and admit to things such as "I liked the way the younger Petit girl looked" This at the area Supermarket where he admits to stalking the Jennifer Petit and her daughters and following them back to thier house keeping a safe distance between the Chrsyler minvan that the Mrs Petit was driving and his work truck.

Over $500,000 of the State's money has been spent thus far on Mr Komisarjevky's defense. His trial is scheduled to begin Monday September 19th. Within a deluge of last minute motions, the defense has re-motioned for the Jury to be sequestered ( a motion that has already been considered and denied by Judge Blue) as well as filing a second motion for the entire trial to be moved out of New Haven Superior Court.

Sep 12, 2011

Whenever I think about September 11th, I think about Kevin Cosgrove, his call to 9-1-1 and the impact that it has had on me and so many

There is something very special about this man, his tenacity, his perseverance, and even his humor in the midst of absolute mayhem, We hear his entire struggle with an impossible situation, including his frustration, his anger, his refusal to give up and his constant reiteration that he needs to survive to be there for his family, his children.

His strength yet all of it's frailty and a tenaciy and courage is forever captured on this tape, it endears him to us, it breaks out hearts, for we cannot change the ending for him no matter how many times we listen.

I think about his wife and children often, and hold them in my prayers, They too are victims of 911. They knew and loved this man intimately; husband, father, brother, uncle, friend and now they have shared the end of his life with the world for a higher good, taking an infamous "tragedy" and making it as real as it was for those who lived and died through it. Sharing this tape was an act of selflessness and great courage, I commend the Cosgrove family for allowing us to listen.

My prayer today is that healing and comfort be visited upon all of the people affected by this act of violence.. May all of us pull out of the wreckage of that day a new sense of closeness one-ness with each other - a new knowledge of what truly matters in this life; kindness, love, compassion.
A thankfulness for every day that we are gifted with. That is the main sentiment that kept cropping up time and again within the condolence messages left on Kevin Cosgroves 911 memorial site.
He gave us this, and it is a awesome and eternal gift.

Please visit, leave some words if you wish, pray, in your private way, and remember to cherish life, make the most of each day insofar as reaching out to another person in need, turn towards each other in love acceptance.

Original article in Bold print below.

I was researching an article called "the falling man" recently and I came upon a tape of several 911 calls that were made by the victims trapped in the burning towers on Sept 11th 2001.

After a long deliberation going back and forth on it, I decided to listen; It was very difficult and very painful and extremely moving. At times I literally experienced the physical symptoms that the caller was enduring, due to the smoke and heat coming from the fires where they were trapped in their twin tower offices. Just as another commenter on the site expressed so aptly,' At the end of Mr Congreve's call, I found myself not wanting to let go of him".And like many other's, hearing this call has forever changed my perspective of that terrible day.

The italicized text at the bottom of this post is the actual condolence message that I left at Kevin Congreve's online 911 memorial site. I have supplied a link to his 911 call with corresponding video in this post's title header above.

Mr Congreve's call from the 101st floor of tower two was used as evidence in the Moussaui trial, the only person ever prosecuted for the 911 crimes. After reading this post, if you wish to listen to the tape it is still available. I must warn that it will be an extremely emotional experience, and it will likely forever change you. At first I really regretted having listened because it was so raw so real so painful... but I soon realized that I should not regret for I came to see that it was for me, a necessary pain a pain that ultimately transformed 911 from an awful tragic Event to something altogether more real, more personal, more human and more true. And we owe the victims at the very least truth by embracing the complete and unvarnished reality of their experience.

The pain that many of us feel upon hearing these callers speak-about those horrific conditions in the towers, about their fear over their likely imminent deaths- and the distress in having to leave their families and loved ones- only made us feel as if we knew them. By being privy to the most intimate last moments of their lives, this has allowed us to honor their experience without the whitewash effect of news camera shots of a burning buildings thousands of feet away in the air.

Even the sudden and awful collapse of the towers into a veritable dust bowl, like so much else that happened that day, was somehow surreal- Its not that we couldn't and didn't consider the horror of what was likely going on way up there where our eyes could not see, it just wasn't in our face, so to speak, and we gratefully took advantage of that distance. Because really, the horror might have been too much for us to bear. But didn't we owe it to the victims to watch, to listen, for this was their reality-they lived through these awful minutes and in some cases, hours. This is the truth of that day - their truth.

The voices of the people on these tapes however will be with us forever The people themselves will thus reside in us. We carry them in our hearts, our souls now.

Many people have asked why I listened and why I would encourage others to listen, when it is so difficult to hear, so painful. My answer is that I've given it a lot of thought and consideration and ultimately realized that some times in life circumstances present us, as human beings with an opportunity where pain can serve as an engine for greater understanding and ultimately, growth, or we can choose to turn away, spare ourselves the pain but lose the chance for greater depth and character. We don't often get a chance to truly understand the magnitude of suffering involved by victims of violent crime and that is what 911 was, a violent crime of huge proportion, committed against thousands of people.

These tapes, and the nature of the Internet itself, have opened up doors for us. I don't suggest listening as voyeurs out of curiosity, but enter as caring and compassionate witnesses. We can use the powerful emotions that are triggered in us: the compassion empathy, the pain even the anger - to bring us to a new level of awareness, about violent crime, terrorism, justice, courage and the fleeting nature of life. Hopefully we will use this new found awareness wisely and do only positive and good things with it. And these good things in turn shall become the legacy of those who perished on that day, victims and heroes all.

Note: The link to the 911 tape itself is at the title header of this post - below is a copy of my entry on Kevin's memorial page)

Leave a memorial comment if you feel so moved, I am certain that the families read them and I am hopeful that reading them as they crop up every other day at least, provides solace to them knowing that their loved ones haves made this impact.

Rest in Peace Kevin.

The entry in italics was taken from he 911 memorial page found via the link below;

I heard the tape of Kevin's 911 call for the first time yesterday while researching the "falling man" article in Esquire magazine. I cried much of the night, and my heart literally felt torn open. I made myself listen to it again today, hoping that the shock had worn off just a bit and wanting to feel somehow closer to this man who was so courageous and heroic in his tenacious love for his family, and his will to survive in order to be there for them.

At first, I felt like a voyeur and wondered whether this tape and others like it should be made available for the public to hear - was it not just re-traumatizing everyone, I wondered? But I realized as that day passed that I, and all of us needed to hear these calls, and the voices of the people who suffered and perished on that day, because there is really no other way to fully understand the unvarnished reality of the suffering and loss that this terrorist act of violence wrought upon so many decent human beings.

Indeed, because of this tape, September 11th is now more real to me today almost 7 years after the crimes, than it was in the weeks and months following the actual tragedy. At the time, I couldn't allow myself to listen to too many of the details of Sept 11. I had recently been the victim of a violent crime and I was still involved in the court process for that case. So when Sept 11 brought its terror and violence to me and the rest of this world I think I had to wall myself off just enough, otherwise I recall thinking that I would be swallowed up from the magnitude of the pain and suffering involved in the tragedy.I was acutely sensitive and empathic normally and at that point in my life I was in the midst of a post traumatic storm from the violent crime wrought against me months earlier.

So for the first time perhaps ever in my life I put a shell around my heart and wouldn't allow myself to listen or read too much about the horror of this happening.

Perhaps only now, years later, was I truly ready.

I want to say that I now feel that I know this man who before listening to this tape was a stranger. He dwells in my heart and in my soul . His determination, his strength, his humor, his fear his humanness really, will forever be a part of me.

I have prayed earnestly to God that he holds Kevin in his peaceful and loving embrace forever and that the entire Cosgrove family be given peace and comfort while holding onto the memory of this devoted loving-and courageous man.

Sep 11, 2011

While recently researching an article called "The Falling Man" I came upon two tape recordings of 9-1-1 calls made by two victims trapped in the higher floors of Tower Two which, horrifyingly collapsed in the middle of a call made by one man Kevin Cosgrove (pictured at left)

The other call was made by a young Mellissa Doi, who also perished in tower two.The heat from the Planes Fuel weakened the structure and it's floors began to collapse, one on top of the other. Mr. Cosgrove was still holding out hope huddled under a desk on the 103rd floor of that tower as it fell inadvertently recording his death as he spoke to the 911 operator.Fifteen minutes later.. Tower one, the first one to be hit by another Hijacked Plane, collapsed. As all of us across the Country watched this unfolding on live TV we were given panned back camera shots of the burning buildings. Still I imagined the horrors we spared from seeing; Close up views of the raw suffering and mayhem happening to the brave souls still trapped within the Towers wouldn't come until later.Hundreds of First Responders were killed as they rushed into buildings that were hopelessly ensconced in A raging Jet fueled fire. The Firemen trudged up 70-90 flights of stairs, carrying heavy gear dragging hoses to save the handful of lives that they encountered along the way. Many perished when the buildings collapsed.For a year at least as a Country, especially in the Northeast, we banded together in a collective yet unfamiliar connectedness, borne of this cowardly act of Terror, something that every one of us was affected by in our own unique way, but for all, in perpetuity:. We would never be the same.However, amidst the nagging pain and anger evolved another en masse emotion: PRIDE.We were proud proud of both our civilians and the First Responders alike. Fireman, Policeman and other heroes were rampant in rushing to help others. Tugboat captains rushed to get People out of harms way off the island, as there was no other way out - the streets bridges were not passable. Ferries loaded with people traversed back and forth. No one knew if more attacks were coming.Manhattan looked like a war zone and in fact it was. Living in Connecticut I was born in New York City albeit until I was ten years of age, I still feel a native New-Yorker Memories and photos of my sisters and I skating in Rockefeller Center with our father were heavy on my mind. His impressively loud whistle, reserved for hailing cabs which I will always recall the smell of the seats. Trips to Radio City Music Hall all and more are part and parcel of me and always will be.As nice as Westport Connecticut was, it was not New York City. However, the City's influence being 45t minutes away ran throughout this originally artistic community. Known for its theater artists writers Westport became a teeming Commuter town. The New York City line was barely discernible to many of us, it was a cultural influence even to those who were born and bred in Westport and other Connecticut towns. Back to my original article about September 11th. I re-post this every year on this Sacred Day. Below is a continuation from the first few paragraphs at the start of this Post where I mentioned how this all began for me, researching the "Falling Man "Article in Esquire Magazine.Note: These two 911 tapes were instrumental in the Prosecution of the one sole Terrorist that was arrested for helping plan the attack, Zacarias Moussaoui . He was completely impassive as the everyone in the Courtroom weeped as they listened. Mrs Cosgrove has allowed the release and she made a victim impact statement also regarding the effects of the loss of her husband on her children's lives. Courageous Woman, I am awed by her strength.

.

Not knowing what I would be hearing when I came upon the 911 taped calls I was reluctant but feeling I owed it to the victims, I finally listened to them.It was excruciating, heartbreaking and life-changing..

As I listened, I found myself experiencing the physical symptoms that each caller was enduring; the black thick smoke that was choking Mr Cosgrove, the terrible heat that young Mellisa Doi kept crying to the operator that she and her coworkers could not escape. They were standing on desks. The growing panic fear and frustration of the poor 911 operator was evident as she tried to calm these embattled people she knew were likely to die. The callers were placated, told that help was coming, but not given any concrete information and communication regarding one open stairwell in tower two was not even known until too late by fire fighters.Kevin Cosgrove actually worked at Aon Corporation on the 83rd floor. But, as designated Fire official for that Aon office, he tried to make certain that most of his group of employees evacuated after the North tower was hit. He then called his wife and began the descent down the stairs on foot just as the second plane hit the south tower. The explosion and heat smoke drove him right back up now to the higher floors, to the roof - this the where his fire training had always taught him to go in situations like this- to ascend was one's only hope to the roof, for a helicopter rescue.Tragically. the roof door was locked, as was the roof-door on the North tower -hundreds of people attempted that same superhuman climb up miles of stairs, many flooded, covered with debris only to discover locked doors. The word was that there was no chance that a helicopter landing was possible in either building anyway; they say that the smoke and heat made any rood rescue impassible yet I watched those helicopters and small planes circling those towers and I was sol very frustrated and angry as I imagined the office workers trapped with broken windows and flames behind them, wondering why the rescue helicopters were not attempting to help them? Perhaps ladders of rope to swing to the broken windows as the copters hovered as close as they possibly could to the buildings. All I know is there were hundreds of people waving flags sheets shirts and scraps of material climbing down the face of the building, believing that those helicopters were there for a reason, for some kind of rescue...and yet, there was none.In the meantime Kevin took his exhausted body and climbed back down flights and flights of stairwells by foot, facing growing smoke labored breathing and panic; he must have run into the first office where he spotted other men or voices gathered It was this office on the Southwest corner facing the financial center that he made his now, infamous 9-1-1 telephone call from.

As one person expressed so aptly, at the end of Kevin Congreve's call "I found myself not wanting to let go of him." And like many others who chose listen to these phone calls, they have forever changed my perspective of that terrible day.

Kevin Cosgrove's 9-1-1 call was one of three used as evidence in the Moussaui trial, and this is why It has become available to the public via the freedom of information act.After reading this post in it's entirety if you wish to listen to the tape, I have embedded the most tasteful version that I could find. It has a heart warming biography of Mr Cosgrove's life giving us a real feel for who he was at his very core. A man who desperately wanted to live for his family whom he kept mentioning..I must warn all readers that these tapes will be an extremely emotional experience, and it will forever change anyone who listens to it. At first, I regretted having listened to them because they were so upsetting so raw, so real, and much worse than I expected. However, I came to the realization that I should not regret listening and sharing in these two callers pain.I was bearing witness and thus as every victim of crime needs I along with anyone who listened validated these and all of the victims experience.It was for me a necessary pain A pain that ultimately transformed 911 from a terrible terror based tragedy, to something altogether more more personal, more human more TRUE.The pain that all of us feel upon hearing these desperate callers describe the horrific conditions in the towers, their fear over their likely imminent deaths, and the distress in having to leave their families and loved ones, made us now feel that we knew them. By becoming privy to the most intimate last moments of their lives, this has allowed us to honor their experience without the whitewashed effect of pulled back news camera shots of a burning buildings, thousands of feet in the air.Even the sudden and awful collapse of the towers into veritable dust bowl, like so much else that happened that day, was somehow surreal when it happened. It is not that we couldn't and didn't consider the horror of what was likely going on way up where our eyes could not see, it just wasn't in our face and we gratefully took advantage of that kind distance, because really, the horror might have been too much for us at that time.The voices of the people on these tapes however will be with us forever The people themselves will thus reside in us. We carry them now.I do not suggest listening as voyeurs, but as caring witnesses . We can use the powerful emotions that are triggered in us the empathy, the pain and even the anger-to bring us to a new level of awareness; about violence, crime, tragedy, justice, Life and death. Hopefully with the help of a higher power, we can then use this awareness wisely and do only positive things with it. These good things shall become the legacy of those who perished that day, victims and heroes all.When reading the memorial pages of the 911 callers, many people shared that the problems that has seemed so important in their lives prior to listening to Kevin Cosgrove's desperate last minutes on earth, immediately were diminished. And this experience was not a rare thing, in fact a great deal of folks cited this as a turning point in their lives, an appreciation for every hour of every day, marked by the experience of listening to these tapes. Thousands of good people expressed gratitude to Kevin Cosgrove and his family for giving them an opportunity to rethink the value of their lives through his heroism.Kevin Cosgrove's Memorial PageNew messages appear daily from all over the world, more since the 911 tapes were released. Somehow I am certain that the Cosgrove family reads them, and I only hope that they provide solace to them, knowing that their beloved father husband son and friend, has had such a life-changing impact on so many.Many people will embrace their daily lives,hours and minutes once taken for granted. Time and again, I read memorial messages from young folks not old enough to grasp the reality of September 11th when it happened but, who share that they've shed their first tears about this tragedy, by listening to Kevin's final minutes and his his death. My hope is that we will be more inclined to spend our time ministering,or helping - people in pain or in need; This is the legacy of Kevin Cosgrove. There are thousands of people like Kevin who suffered the same pain and so many exhibited bravery and courage we cannot fathom.May you all rest in God's loving arms Your spirits in eternal comfort,

About me

Writer, Healer, Activist for victims of violent crime and proponent for State-wide sentencing reform. For questions or information about crime-victim's rights or victim support services and referrals, pls email me in
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