Who

That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore, Part 1

APB (“All Points Bulletin”) was an Atari arcade game designed by Dave
Theurer, who also made the classic games Missile Command, _Tempest _-- the
best arcade game ever made, for my money – and I, Robot. It was the
forebear of the original, overhead view Grand Theft Auto games. It was
primarily a driving game; you were a police officer, and had a certain amount
of time to arrest a certain number of miscreants (hitchhikers, litterers,
speeders, etc.) while avoiding getting demerits. It was fairly challenging. On
each round, there was a special “super villain” you could arrest to end the
round immediately and get bonus points.

The game was published in 1987, also known as “a few years before the Rodney
King incident.” If you caught the super villain – the first one was a hippie
– the view switched to an exterior view of the interrogation room, with you
and the suspect visible in silhouette. Your fat, stupid, donut-eating sergeant
was slowly walking down the stairs. You then slapped the buttons fast and hard
to “interrogate” (read: beat up) the suspect. If you beat him up enough before
the sergeant came in to the room and witnessed the rights violation, he would
confess.

It was popular at the time for Congressmen, Senators, and other idiots to
complain about the values that videogames taught “our children,” but I never
once heard a Congressman or law enforcement official complain about the values
taught by a game that gave you points for beating up a suspect.