Way Too Young

Disclaimer: This is definitely a more light-hearted approach to being a parent. Amelia asked me the other day if I needed anything from the store. Knowing that I was running low on deodorant, I told her to pick one out for me. I really should’ve specified. You have probably seen the deodorant commercials for young men. They all promise that you will attract the ladies. Well, that is not why I buy deodorant. All I seem to attract are flies anyway. So I was hoping she would get one that actually works on sweat and odor. Amelia comes home with a brand of deodorant that I was not expecting. It was the same brand my dad used when I was young and still uses today. The only people I know who use it are old. It even smells old. The name says it all. I never thought I would see the day when I would realize that I am way too young to be wearing Old Spice.

Recently my wife and I are celebrated our three year wedding anniversary. Let me tell you, I feel old. I am just shy of 26 years of age and already have two kids. That’s not actually too bad, but I am definitely feeling old. Not only do I have two kids, but also my once plentiful hair has begun to thin out on top. And I will not be the guy sporting a cul-de-sac. If you don’t know what that means, it is having a full head of hair on the sides only and completely bald on top. You get the picture? Also, in the summer I shave my beard into a mustache goatee. Since I have kids I can do that. Why a mustache goatee? Simple. That way I can still hide my double chin and Priscilla cannot pull out all of my facial hair. And it automatically makes me look at least 30 years old.

Getting old isn’t too bad. However, it is one thing for a middle-aged man to say that he is getting old and a completely different thing for a man in his mid-twenties to make the same claim. My back hurts in the morning, my knees hurt after exercise, and I cannot squat or kneel for long periods of time (less than a minute). But I also know that the older that I get, the more I have nothing in common with my single or even married-with-no-children friends. They will eventually catch up I guess. But until then, I am the old man who cannot stay up past 10 pm…literally. Besides, the girls get up at the same time every morning, regardless what time I go to bed. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love being a father. And it is impossible to be a good father who chooses the what-if-I-didn’t-have-kids scenario over actually accepting the responsibility and spending time with them.