Fantasy Football

No Constant Reader, I have not forgotten that I am submitting picks every week.

Last week with the Giants coming into the Linc, I realized, for NFC East opponents, I ain’t gonna be able to do it.

I sat down and started writing out just how the game was gonna go down. I picked the good match ups, and picked what to watch for in the game.

If you looked at my previous 2 game break downs, I was on point (with the exception of the scores and that Philly will beat Atlanta thing) The ending was not happy for this Philadelphia fan, but the football logic behind it was sound. Just because I have beautiful, magnificent breasts does not mean that I do not understand the game.

I’ve watched football since I was barely out of diapers, and I was raised in a household that understood there is no value in being a front runner, and you root for the home team.

I found though, last week as I was attempting to write the Giants v Eagles game, I just could not get it out.

I am not physically capable of admitting that any team in the NFC Easy could possibly beat the Eagles. I am too much of a homer. Even if Jesus lined up behind center for the Washington Redskins, I would still find a way to bash the team. Ride or die I will watch my Eagles fly.

Speaking of ride or die……

A funny thing happened in the post lock out free agency frenzy of the NFL. The Philadelphia Eagles got confused, and thought that they were playing fantasy football. That is what it was like watching all the wheels and deals on the NFL Network.

As a life long Eagles fan, it was beautiful to watch, but it was also a little odd to watch.

Historically, Philadelphia does not make a big splash in free agency. The fans have been begging for it since Brayman allowed Reggie White to walk out of Philadelphia (but never our hearts). We went out and got T O. We even went out and got Jevon Kearse. Then we returned to our regular scheduled program of watching Donovan McNabb waste his career tossing to Todd Pinkston.

In 2011, The Philadelphia Eagles said: This Is It! Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough (or the Lombardi Trophy).

If you were a free agent this year, Philadelphia handed you money. Strange days indeed.

Vince YoungDRCThat kid from Oakland, who’s name I refuse to spell until he shows me WHY he was the most coveted free agent on the marketBabbinSmith

You name the player we bought them, just like us amateurs do in our fantasy football leagues.

A funny thing happened on the way to the Superbowl though…….we forgot that we are who our coach makes us.

Honestly I have been calling for Reid’s demise since we lost to the patriots in the Superbowl. No one would listen though. I’d been teetering on the edge since he arrived actually. I was never a big fan. Then Philly started to win again, and I swallowed my hesitation waiting for the day that we would bring the Lombardi to Broad St.

Then I watched the Superbowl, and watched Andy Reid get out coached. True it was future Hall of Fame coach Belichek, but he still got out coached.

That was a rough one to watch. The last one we were in I was 8 years old….I did not understand or appreciate the game as I would with age.

I came of my football age in an era highlighted this past week by NFL Films. If you have not watched A Football Life: Reggie White & Jerome Brown, you are losing at life.

The thing is THAT is when I learned about the game, to love the game, and to appreciate the game. I ‘grew up’ with Buddy ball, and watching the Eagles defense that Phil Simms and Troy Aikman STILL have nightmares about.

Although they never won the championship as a unit, I will put up their numbers against any of the great defenses of the years, and I could very well win that argument. The front seven of the Philadelphia Eagles then was what I thought we would always be forever and ever amen.

Of course I was wrong, but its been quite some time since the team I love has been this putrid.

As the Washington Redskins have proven since the rise of Dan Snyder, the NFL is not the league that you can mask your poor draft picks. Free agency is not the cure for the Danny Watkins and Freddie Mitchell wasted draft picks of the years.

A free agent on an otherwise solid team can get you over the hump (Owens) but trying to build your team through free agency will swiftly show up in the win / loss column.

During draft weekend, I sat numb after watching the Birds draft a 40 year old fireman and tell me he was a tackle. I wrote this: Dear Mr. Lurie

My reward was the drafting of a kicker …. the same kicker who’s missed field goal is the difference between 2-2 and back on track and 1-3 and wondering if the Dream Team is a Nightmare on Elm Street.

But back to Kotite 2.0 – and not I am NOT being unfair.

Watching A Football Life reminded me of what football used to be in this town.

Hey Randall, run a lot, make 4 or 5 plays and we will be good.

What I saw today?

Hey Michael, run a lot make 12 or 17 plays and we will be good.

Except:

Reggie Jerome Golic Simmons & ‘dem aren’t around to save our asses.

Nope.

In 2011, you hand that honor over to Nate Allen and his one good leg, and Clay Matthews’ little sister who you told me could play linebacker. Only you didn’t tell me it was linebacker for Central High School, not the NFL.

This team has not been prepared for a game. We only get 16, not a lot of room to grow.

This defense looks lost. You have the secondary that orgasms are made of, and a front line that will shrivel an opposing quarterback’s testicles, and in the middle we have Foku.

What is wrong with this picture?

It is the coach.

It is the coach who has made so many bad personnel decisions that we tried to buy our way out of last place in free agency.

It is the coach who let Sean McDermott go, and gave the green light to Juan Castillo, and his tamales.

It is the coach who is unable to recognize when to throw the red flag, who doesn’t understand that there is a position on the team called LINEBACKER for a reason, and it is the coach who is unable to make adjustments to his plan of action, no matter how bad it fails come game time.

We are not just watching a team struggling to gel after a short off season, we are watching a team that is coached by the ghost of Marion Campbell in a mormon suit.

The grace period for taking us to 5 NFC Championship games has ended. Andy has run his course here, and it is time for his departure.

I would say it is time for an interim head coach, but fuck it all you can’t give the job to Castillo, and we’ve seen what Marty can do as a head coach.

The players could very well be better off with NO coach, it is difficult to imagine they could do worse.

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About Aphrodite Brown

Aphrodite Brown is the owner and creator of Vizionz from the Bottom. Vizionz is a life and culture blog covering all aspects of life from pop culture, to politics, to parenting, with an extra heavy dose of alternative lifestyle & sex positive living.