A Thing of Eternity wrote:Shit man, I'm an audio guy, this stuff is neato to me.

You'd be surprised what they're forcing by law in the name of intelligibility in the new national fire alarm code.

...and in my 25 years of designing audible evacuation messages all over the world...I've yet to do one in Canada.

We just sound a regular alarm and people are smart enough to get the fuck out of the building! I've never in my life heard of something that instead of a regular alarm says "people, listen the shit up, this building is on fiya y'all - git out!".

A Thing of Eternity wrote:Shit man, I'm an audio guy, this stuff is neato to me.

You'd be surprised what they're forcing by law in the name of intelligibility in the new national fire alarm code.

...and in my 25 years of designing audible evacuation messages all over the world...I've yet to do one in Canada.

We just sound a regular alarm and people are smart enough to get the fuck out of the building! I've never in my life heard of something that instead of a regular alarm says "people, listen the shit up, this building is on fiya y'all - git out!".

MY god man, you should see what our military wants.

.8 CIS _tested_ intelligibility score.

Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.~Pink Snowman

We're taking this entire story with a grain of salt, but, hey... if the Thanksgiving dinner conversation comes to a grinding halt tomorrow, you'll be glad you read this.

Unconfirmed reports of a strangely shaped skull found in Peru hit the web on Tuesday (Nov. 22). Apparently, anonymous scientists -- who we're not entirely sure exist -- have "confirmed" that it's an "extraterrestrial being."

The skull is strangely elongated (hello, "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull") and, according to Yahoo News, the head is nearly as long as the 20-inch body to which it is attached. Initially, it was believed to be the body of a child with a deformity, but now... cue "The X-Files" theme music, please.

We're going to go ahead and assume that if scientists had discovered actual proof of extraterrestrial beings -- especially ones that look almost exactly like the dudes from "Mars Attacks" -- those scientists would want to actually take credit for their findings. Still, the photos of the skull are rather remarkable.

Hey, I didn't think you were buying it. I just amuses me to think that someday MARILYN MARTIN might google her own name and find where I called her a nasty old bigoted cunt here. I'd like to do it on Amazon but they would delete it and ban me, and what with the Shitterhood Wars coming up...

"Let the dead give water to the dead. As for me, it's NO MORE FUCKING TEARS!"

.....A young Missouri man has turned to the Internet in search of investors for his expedition into the remote jungles of Africa seeking to document undiscovered flora and fauna. That is not so unusual, but one of the creatures he hopes to find is: a living dinosaur.

The region Stephen McCullah, the organizer of the expedition, has chosen to explore is the reputed home of the Mokèlé-mbèmbé, a dinosaur-like creature said to be up to 35 feet long (11 meters), with brownish-gray skin and a long, flexible neck. Many locals believe that it lives in the caves it digs in riverbanks, and that the beast feeds on elephants, hippos and crocodiles.

McCullah posted his pitch on Kickstarter.com asking for $27,000 in donations so that he and his friends can launch the Newmac Expedition, "one of the first expeditions in this century with the goal of categorizing plant and animal species in the vastly unexplored Republic of the Congo." The preliminary four-man venture is slated to launch June 26.

Though the team members largely lack formal education in biology or zoology, they "anticipate discovering hundreds of new insect, plant and fish species during the course of our research. There is also the legitimate hope of discovering many reptile and mammalian species. We have received reports...in the region of eyewitnesses seeing canine-sized tarantulas, large river dwelling sauropods [dinosaurs], and a species of man-eating fish," McCullah wrote on the website.

Never mind dinosaurs, which have been extinct for millions of years, for a moment. Finding a spider the size of a dog would be remarkable enough, as the largest-known tarantula, the Goliath birdeater, lives in South America and has a leg span of "only" a foot.

When asked if he really expected to discover monster tarantulas and dinosaurs, McCullah told Life's Little Mysteries, “We don't necessarily expect to find concrete evidence of Mokèlé-mbèmbé (or any other creatures claimed to have been seen in the region) on the first expedition, but we believe there's a good chance during that initial three months that we will find hard evidence of its presence in the area if it is there."

Even if McCullah's team finds that evidence, most cryptozoologists (those who search for unknown or hidden animals) believe that only a live or dead specimen would convince mainstream scientists that animals such as Bigfoot or Mokèlé-mbèmbé exist — the blurry photos and videos, footprints and eyewitness reports that make up the vast majority of the evidence for these creatures are simply not enough. McCullah and his team will need specialized equipment to capture these animals — and a living dinosaur would require a pretty big net.

"We are in the process of looking at live methods for capture of large animals," McCullah said. "We will be attempting to bring a tranquilizer rifle, but there are many issues and unknowns we will have to overcome to subdue an animal like Mokèlé-mbèmbé with a tranquilizer gun."In his Kickstarter pitch, McCullahnoted that there have been several previous expeditions to the Congolese jungles in search of large unknown animals (including Mokèlé-mbèmbé), and yet they all failed to find good evidence. He believes that his group's youth and enthusiasm will help them succeed where others have failed. The arsenal of cutting-edge technology they plan to bring should help as well: "We will be utilizing satellite images, trail cameras, a Thermal camera to track animals, and sonar to search through the murky waters."

Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.~Pink Snowman

"He probably would not have been very easy to see at all," said Jim Schneider, a state trooper.

A 15-year-old girl hit him with her car, another car swerved, and a third car driven by a 17-year-old ran him over, CNN affiliate KECI reported.

Tenley was "well into the driving lane," and according to his companions he was "attempting to incite a sighting of Bigfoot -- to make people think they had seen a Sasquatch," Schneider said in the KECI report.

But authorities received no calls from drivers thinking they had seen Bigfoot, the station reported.

Officials with Montana Highway Patrol District 6, which includes Flathead County where the incident took place, could not be reached for comment Tuesday morning.

Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.~Pink Snowman

Hikers take flight when what they thought was a bear resembles Bigfoot

By: Pete Thomas, GrindTV.comWhen the black bear you think you're looking at from a safe distance suddenly stands and begins to resemble bigfoot, and that creature stares directly at you, how do you react? The hikers who captured the accompanying footage recently in Utah's Provo Canyon seemed to act appropriately: They bolted through the woods, with the camera still running, to get as far away from the creature as possible. "We ran straight to the car after that, leaving our tent and everything behind. It's probably all still up there," states Beard Card, the YouTube user who posted the video. This is one of the more realistic Bigfoot escapades in some time.

Naturally, skeptics are analyzing the video in the hopes of finding an explanation. Yet even healthy cynics are pretty impressed with what they see. They note that the witnesses don't appear to be acting. If they were, the skeptics say, they'd likely be a lot more vocal, and fall into the overacting trap. (Watch this video for full breakdown.) They also didn't stick around to get a great shot, which also rings of a very natural reaction, but didn't help when it came to capturing a better image.

Nevertheless, the shot of what clearly looks like the animal's big broad arms is extremely compelling, which is why Max Roth of Fox 13 caught up with Beard Card to talk about the incredible encounter.

Card told Roth how they were standing there for a good chunk of time even before recording what they believed to be a bear at the time, while he was trying to get the camera to work. During their exchange, Card hit on their reaction. Here are a few excerpts:

CARD: "But when it stood up and looked at us--and we assumed it was a bear up to that point--but, when it stood up and looked at us, it was this massive animal. We don't know what it was. I mean, none of us believe in Bigfoot, so. ...We've talked about it over and over again since Monday when it happened and all of us are positive that thing wasn't a bear."

ROTH: "You're not a Bigfoot guy?

CARD: "Nope...none of us have ever believed in that kind of thing."

ROTH: "So what do you think it was?"

CARD: "I don't know!...We don't know what it was...I don't know if Bigfoot exists or not but that was a huge animal."

Whether this is an elaborate prank, or something really scary we don't know for sure. But for the full interview with Card, and more debate on the incident, it's hard to beat the Bigfoot Evidence blog, where believers and non-believers routinely square off.

Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.~Pink Snowman

Genetic testing confirms the legendary Bigfoot is a human relative that arose some 15,000 years ago — at least according to a press release issued by a company called DNA Diagnostics detailing supposed work by a Texas veterinarian.

The release and alleged study by Melba S. Ketchum also suggests such cryptids had sex with modern human females that resulted in hairy hominin hybrids, but the scientific community is dubious about her claim.

"A team of scientists can verify that their five-year long DNA study, currently under peer-review, confirms the existence of a novel hominin hybrid species, commonly called 'Bigfoot' or 'Sasquatch,' living in North America," the release reads. "Researchers' extensive DNA sequencing suggests that the legendary Sasquatch is a human relative that arose approximately 15,000 years ago."

For her study, Ketchum obtained three "whole nuclear genomes from purported Sasquatch samples. The genome sequencing shows that Sasquatch mtDNA is identical to modern Homo sapiens, but Sasquatch nuDNA is a novel, unknown hominin related to Homo sapiens and other primate species." (Mitochondrial DNA, or mtDNA, is the DNA that resides in the cell's energy-producing structures, and is typically passed down from mothers, while nuclear DNA, nuDNA, resides in the cells' nuclei and is passed down from both parents to offspring.)

"Our data indicate that the North American Sasquatch is a hybrid species, the result of males of an unknown hominin species crossing with female Homo sapiens," the statement reads. Any proof?

It's a fascinating theory.

So where's the evidence? Well, there is none. Not yet, anyway: Ketchum's research has not appeared in any peer-reviewed scientific journal, and there's no indication when that might happen. If the data are good and the science is sound, any reputable science journal would jump at the chance to be the first to publish this groundbreaking information. Until then, Ketchum has refused to let anyone else see her evidence.

Of course the history of Bigfoot is rife with exaggerated and premature claims about proof of the creature's existence. For decades, various types of evidence have been offered as final, definitive proof, ranging from Bigfoot hair to blood to dead bodies. Without exception, the evidence has always been hoaxed, misidentification or inconclusive.

Because Ketchum has released no information at all about her findings (nor have they been examined by outside experts), it's impossible to evaluate the validity of her conclusions. But an important clue can be found in her statement that "Sasquatch mtDNA is identical to modern Homo sapiens."

If the mitochontrial DNA is identical to Homo sapiens (i.e., modern humans), then this suggests one of two options. The first, endorsed by Ketchum, is that Bigfoot ancestors had sex with women about 15,000 years ago and created a half-human hybrid species currently hiding across North America. [Rumor or Reality: The Creatures of Cryptozoology]

There is, however, another, simpler interpretation of such results: The samples were contaminated. Whatever the sample originally was — Bigfoot, bear, human or something else — it's possible that the people who collected and handled the specimens accidentally introduced their DNA into the sample, which can easily occur with something as innocent as a spit, sneeze or cough. No one outside of Ketchum's team knows how this alleged Bigfoot DNA was collected, from where or by whom. It could have been collected by the world's top forensics experts, or by a pair of amateur Bigfoot buffs with no evidence-gathering training.

Confirming it's Bigfoot

How did the team definitively determine that the samples were from a Bigfoot? Did they take a blood or saliva sample from a living Bigfoot? If so, how did they get that close, and why didn't they simply capture it or photograph it? If the samples were found in the wild, how do they know it wasn't left by another animal — or possibly even a hunter, hiker or camper who left human genetic material?

Previous alleged Bigfoot samples subjected to DNA analysis have been deemed "unknown" or "unidentified." However, "unknown" or "unidentified" results do not mean "Bigfoot." There are many reasons why a DNA sample might come back unknown, including that it was contaminated or too degraded by environmental conditions. Or it could simply mean that the animal it came from was not among the reference samples that the laboratory used for comparison. There is no reference sample of Bigfoot DNA to compare it with, so by definition, there cannot be a conclusive match.

Ketchum also issued a statementrequesting that the U.S. government immediately recognize Bigfoot as "an indigenous people and immediately protect their human and Constitutional rights against those who would see in their physical and cultural differences a 'license' to hunt, trap, or kill them." Since no Bigfoot has ever been hunted, trapped or killed, it's not clear that the creatures — if they exist — require any special federal protection.

Ketchum's is not the only genetics-based project intended to find Bigfoot. Earlier this year, researchers from Oxford University and the Lausanne Museum of Zoology announced they were collecting samples of alleged Bigfoot and Yeti hair for genetic identification. Oxford geneticist Bryan Sykes collected materials from the public from May through September, and is currently conducting DNA analysis. Once the results are in, he plans to submit his results to a peer-reviewed scientific journal.

If Ketchum has the definitive proof she claims, the world will soon know about it, and Bigfoot will be proven once and for all. On the other hand, if the evidence never appears, or is inconclusive and flawed, the search will continue.

Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.~Pink Snowman

Freakzilla wrote:How did the team definitively determine that the samples were from a Bigfoot? Did they take a blood or saliva sample from a living Bigfoot? If so, how did they get that close, and why didn't they simply capture it or photograph it? If the samples were found in the wild, how do they know it wasn't left by another animal — or possibly even a hunter, hiker or camper who left human genetic material?

Previous alleged Bigfoot samples subjected to DNA analysis have been deemed "unknown" or "unidentified." However, "unknown" or "unidentified" results do not mean "Bigfoot." There are many reasons why a DNA sample might come back unknown, including that it was contaminated or too degraded by environmental conditions. Or it could simply mean that the animal it came from was not among the reference samples that the laboratory used for comparison. There is no reference sample of Bigfoot DNA to compare it with, so by definition, there cannot be a conclusive match.

From what I've read, the team used over 150 samples of tissue (hair, blood, droppings, etc.) believed to be from Bigfoot, comparing the DNA results to each other to determine which came from the same species. From there they did this supposed hybrid analysis.

Bigfoot is real, and now at least one scientist claims there is proof.

A group of Sasquatch researchers who have been collecting over 100 pieces of evidence over the past five years screened "never before seen HD video" of the alleged creature at a news conference in Dallas on Tuesday.

The footage, which came from a similar effort dubbed The Erickson Project, led by Adrian Erickson, showed what the group said was a sasquatch moving through wooded areas in Kentucky.

Dr. Melba Ketchum, who has led the group of researchers called the Sasquatch Genome Project, has been working on a $500,000 analysis of DNA samples from an unknown hominin species. Ketchum calls the project "a serious study" that concludes the legendary Sasquatch exists in North America and is a human relative that arose approximately 13,000 years ago.

"They're a type of people, they're a human-hybrid, we believe. And all of the DNA evidence points to that. And they can elude us, so if you get [footage] at all, it can be fleeting," Ketchum told ABC affiliate WFAA.

Ketchum, who was initially a skeptic, says she implemented strict protocols as DNA was extracted from the collected samples.

"We soon discovered that certain hair samples - which we would later identify as purported Sasquatch samples - had unique morphology distinguishing them from typical human and animal samples," Ketchum said in February of the research.

"Those hair samples that could not be identified as known animal or human were subsequently screened using DNA testing, beginning with sequencing of mitochondrial DNA followed by sequencing nuclear DNA to determine where these individuals fit in the 'tree of life,'" she said.

In total, 111 specimens of purported Sasquatch hair, blood, skin, and other tissue types were analyzed for the Sasquatch Genome Project's study. The samples were submitted from 34 different hominin research sites in 14 U.S. states and two Canadian provinces.

At Tuesday's press conference, Dennis Pfoul, the group's project manager, showed footage of what he believes belongs to a Sasquatch in the snow in Colorado.

"We've all had experiences that have changed our lives, I mean, literally shook the foundation of what we believe in," Pfoul said at the news conference.

Funding for the Sasquatch Genome Project comes from Erikson and entrepreneur Wally Hersom, according to Ketchum. The Erikson Project has in the past teased footage of supposed Sasquatch sightings, notable in a November 2012 trailer for "Sasquatch: The Quest." Watch the trailer here.

Todd R. Disotell, a professor at the Department of Anthropology at New York University, told ABCNews.com that Ketchum’s research is nonsense.

“It’s just a joke,” he said. “She is a laughing stock of people that are of a community that are already kind of wacko.”

“This was not reported in any scientific way whatsoever. It’s complete junk science, and then she misinterprets it. She hasn’t published in peer-reviewed papers on this stuff. I don’t know how this got put together,” he said.

Disotell says that he has disproven samples from being what they’re claimed to be many times, including debunking a yeti, a chupacabra, and a sasquatch eight times, including once on ScyFy’s “Joe Rogan Questions Everything.”

“You can’t prove something doesn’t exist,” he said. “You can prove that every sample you’re brought isn’t what they’re claiming, But you can’t disprove this. It will go on forever. We’ll always have it.”

Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.~Pink Snowman