Midway through a first date.

I am watching what must be a first date. I am in a country where I do not speak the native language and I am relying on my senses. I would normally live tweet such an enormous occasion. Why enormous you ask? First dates promise, surprise and/or disappoint. Live tweet, you ask? It is a fundamentally sound platform to reveal such occasion.

Enough of the trivialities.

The young blonde is wearing a striking blue dress that is strapless and suggestive, although the weather very much certifies the selection as appropriate and dynamic. The man seemed positively uninterested or just pretending to be full of enough bravado and swag that it is ‘just another day’ for him. He is smartly dressed and the adequate 6 foot 3 inch man’s man.

In other important news, which, it must be said arrived prior to the first date, we have a table of 3. Initially, there was a table of 1. A female. Black jeans. Black low cut top revealing her mid-rift and smoking a cigarette as if it were oxygen. She seemed comfortable and it turns out was an employee of the venue where I sit. She had an hourglass figure and a provocative, suggestive yet opaque signal stemming from every extremity. She is joined by another female in a full length jumpsuit which is an army green. She is joined by a young lad of thin dimensions. He smokes profusely and joins in conversation.

Let us not be too distracted by the black jeans and mid-rift that wouldn’t be out of place on an episode of Girls.

So, first date got off to a roaring start. I must add that I was simply glancing across in an unordered fashion. I was taking subconscious mental notes and that led to this which trickled to you. There was the overzealous leaning in from the strapless blue dress. She seemed enamoured or just particularly lonely in the rest of her life. She was hopeful and smiling. I say ‘was’ because we are now half way through the date. I say half way because I assume they will make it through their meals and have 1 more drink. Back to before. There was hope and a spark. He was measured yet confident. The conversation looks dry and mundane for me but in saying that I have a copy of ‘The Anti-Christ’ next to me. I wonder if they are talking about the new hot spot or the latest late 20s trend. I may be being a tad unkind to them.

Queso, there seemed to be a little more hesitancy. I could be wrong and they are just discussing the Greek potential to remain in the Euro. In any case, the initial optimism has moved towards “meh”. As I write, the army green jumpsuit walks by with her hair Beyonce (to the left), holding a sparkling water with lime. I wonder.

Predictions for the date are solid yet reserved. I think that there may be a follow up and a double date with mutual friends but I cannot imagine a future. I hope blue strapless has the outcome she desires because I have no doubt she has more invested in the night than I or the man she shares a table with.

I shall return to my reading and conclude my people watching with this small yet pertinent advice, be as you wish to seem.