Sunday, November 23, 2008

How do you do it?

I hear that alot when people find out about my relationship.It's a tad on the unconventional side.In fact, according to Mapquest its 1128.13 miles of unconventional.See, Blake lives in Louisiana, and I reside here in my 'BurghSo often I hear from people "How do you do it?"It always confuses me at first, that people seem so amazed that two people can be committed to each other and not live close, like distance automatically equals infidelity, or that somehow it's not real or serious or that its weird.I wasn't looking to fall for him when I met Blake, I was in the last stages of a relationship that was down to one engine and spiralling out of the sky. I sent him a PM about his book (yes, we met online. please take your snickers outside) and we simply started talking, then Talking, then flirting (innocently enough I assure you) while in the real world my relationship was over amidst creepy discoveries, possible cheating and a lack of anything even remotely resembling affection. Blake became someone I looked forward to talking to online, and eventually a few months later I called him and we spent a very awkward time on the phone ( I was convinced he didn't like me) The next time we talked I think we spent 4 hours on the phone. Six months later he flew to Pittsburgh to meet me and 3 years later we have not looked back.

It's hard, I won't deny that. I hate being away from him. I often feel completely alone without the one person who I need more than any other. But we go on, we get by with our sporadic visits and all too fast moving weeks spent together. We go on knowing that at some point all of this pointlessness will be worth it when we can finally be together, for more than a week, together in the same place at the same time for the rest of our "as happily ever after as two people can possibly make it" lives.

Do I sometimes wish this situation was different? You bet, I'm not going to lie to you. Do I ever wish I was not with him? Never. Every second spent apart, every dreary moment spent without a hug or a snuggle when I need it, every second spent on the phone, every dime spent on travel is worth more to me in the long run than anything I have ever done in my life. Period.

Its now quarter to two in the morning. Blake will be here around 1pm. We will spend a week together and then he will have to depart back to Louisiana. We will be apart until February when I go down there for Mardi Gras and as much as every second apart hurts its all gonna be worth it when I find myself in an airport, wrapped in his arms.