Balls and Whistles

Can you conquer the G-String Crawl? Dare you enter the Dominatrix Dungeon? Will you slide into the Honey Tunnel or tackle the Blue Balls Dash? Don’t worry — you didn’t fall asleep in front of the phone sex infomercials again. These are just a few of the sex-themed obstacles for consenting adults in the upcoming X Run. The event was founded and organized by Kelly Perez, owner of online erotic store sensualsteals.com, who envisioned an untimed, adult-themed 5K obstacle course and mud run for men and women of all fitness levels to promote a sex-positive message. And to that end, the X Run is going all out. “What would be a normal climbing wall will actually be a boob wall. It will be shaped like boobs,” Perez says. “We have a penis crawl. It’s going to be really wild and outrageous.” What else could possibly be offered amid this boob-grabbing and penis-dodging? How about beer, adult star appearances, live music, and food. Though there’s no nudity allowed at the event, there will be plenty of eye candy during mud-wrestling and pole-dancing contests. For some sexy life lessons, the event will offer pole-dancing demonstrations and inform attendees about how they can incorporate sex into their fitness routines. Sat., May 31, 9 a.m., 2014