It's Kentucky. All he has to do is villify that ni...um, what I meant to say was "socialist," clearly, why would you think I was gonna say something else, YOU'RE THE RACIST HERE!...in the White House and the rubes will fall in line.

McConnell is legalized bribery's best friend in Washington. There should be a picture of him next to the word corruption in the dictionary. Here's a meme for him: the troll face with the caption, "I will need a briefcase full of cash before I will let you talk to me. Problem?"

Seeing Talking Turtle try to look "hip" and "cool" has all the telltale marks of a Simpsons episode, where Montgomery Burns hires a consulting firm to help improve his image, to convince the Joe Six-Packs that M. Burns is NOT a despotic nightmare made flesh who wants to destroy what he cannot own and make dance like puppets at his command.