She's fantastic. Her writing is witty, crazy and over the top sometimes. She can spew stories like word vomit and everything she touches turns to gold. I am a huge fan and always will be until the end of time. I fell in love with A Great and Terrible Beauty, adored the ink off The Diviners and cried when she sent me an autographed bookmark years ago.

(I still tear up now, but don't tell anyone!)

So when I picked up Beauty Queens, I expected wit, humour, fanatical self-obsessed characters and to-die-for pirates.

And what did I get?! WIT, HUMOUR, SELF OBSESSED CHARACTERS AND SUPER SEXY PIRATES!!!

The fifty contestants of the Miss Teen Dream pageant are, uh-oh!, stranded on a desert island after a terrible plane crash. With only a few survivors, the girls need to either fight or take flight.

We have a bunch of teenage girls used to the pampered life, of calorie counting and product devulging. These girls are used to having it their way -- of winning everything and battling other girls in crazy frenzies that would put men to shame.

When I first began reading it, I thought, "This is going to be hilarious. Silly girls with no survival instict? They're going to be torn apart!"

But here's the great thing about this book: it's so realistic, so terrifyingly real, that I cried and laughed an screamed along with the rest of them. As you're reading, you'll come to love all the characters, from Adina, the wannabe journalist who only entered the pageant to 'expose' the show, to Tiara, the adorable 'dumb' girl that makes you spit your drink everywhere when she comes out with lines like, "Uterus isn't a disease" and "It's so phallic!" to the hot pirates that crash onto the island (they're actually actors from a popular TV show that took the ship for a joyride and made a booboo) to Agent Jones and even MoMo B ChaCha, the crazy dictator who has a stuffed lemur as a loveable sidekick.

Within the perfectly printed pages of this book, you'll get acceptance, love, starvation, thirst, pain and sadness, and hilarious one liners. What they don't tell you is this: