We're not really sure what New Yorkers read to give them that Big City somethin'-somethin', but NBC New York wants the crown for itself.

So it turned to Mother, which in turn conceived "Locals Only," a campaign that spotlights the website's granular take on the city. It's the spots that compelled us to visit the site, where we discovered it's a lot like HuffPo for deep-Manhattanites with a PG palate (more for NBC's sake, wethinks, than for the city's).

Yesterday's big story was a taser-toting robber grandma; today you've got a happy ending to a very old kidnapping story.

We also think the changing header -- "NBC New York [is intrigued by nude models]" -- gives it a personable touch, lending sass to a rag that, while not as gritty as NEW YORK POST, may well hold its own in the city's dense circle.

But enough about the site; let's move on to the weirdos. The punchline's cheap, and the news tidbits at the end feel a little shoehorned in, but the caricatures are wicked.

The Toronto Zoo has completed a brand-new habitat to accommodate the return of its polar bears. No, not sure where they're returning from, but it must've been some awesome digs because their just-finished gilded cage is 10 acres across and outfitted like the Tundra.

To promote the exhibit, Lowe Roche is disseminating this spot in which a square but well-meaning dude mistakes the habitat for the real thing, then penetrates it and goes off in search of adventure and meaning.

If the children of celebrity chanteurs can draw a crowd to a promo, why not the children of celebrity talk show hosts?

In an ad slated to debut tonight during ABC Family's The Secret Life of the American Teenager, 14-year-old Wyntergrace Williams will urge Congress to amend the Child Nutrition Act to require the inclusion of vegetarian options in school lunch lines.

Inspired, I guess, by the unconditional love Mad Men receives from doting ad creatives, Australian network The Comedy Channel is launching a tongue-in-cheek ad drama called :30 SECONDS.

The show takes place in the present, not the past, which means that while lots of douchey Don Draper types still abound, you also suffer the loss of gratuitous smoking, for which much platinum blonde and gratuitous hipster rumpled-shirtiness is expected to compensate.

Here's a pair of ads for Westwood College, one of those vocational schools where you can get a degree in three years and start your career!

These are more engaging than potshots of nurses taking blood pressure while degree options scroll by. They're a little more casual, and the focus is on the various mundane personalities (and costumes) you take on as you move from dead-end job to CAREER!

And when we say CAREER!, we mean a desk somewhere, which, Westwood fails to mention, is often infinitely less stellar than singing happy birthday songs at TGI Friday's.

Here's a new GoDaddy spot that will neither change your life nor get you off. In it, two preppyland hotties on a golf course find an enchanted genie lamp. One wishes for the world's longest drive, har har, and I'm sure you can imagine what happens next.

Bob Parsons stars as the somewhat seedy genie; the more vocal chick is model Anna Rawson, a new GoDaddy girl and LPGA player.