Obituary: ‘Leeroy Jenkins’

THENATION – Leeroy Jenkins, the flamboyant, trashy-voiced quarterback for the New Orcland Grunts known for his part preacher, part drill sergeant methods of training and “F’orc’n” catchphrase, died Thursday on the sidelines during a match. He was 37.

Leeroy, whose legal name was Leeroy Jenkins, was surrounded by four Norsemen, from the team Just Norse’n Around, and repeatedly blocked until injured.

The injury was not fatal, but would have severely limited Leeroy’s ability for the rest of his life. Coach Preach, talked with Leeroy on the sidelines after the injury.

“I walked over and asked him how bad it was,” said Preach. “He looked up and told me, ‘F’orc your pity, put me back in!'”

“I saw the pain behind those eyes, not the pain of being hurt, but the pain of letting his team down,” offered Preach. “I told the doctor to leave, that I would do it myself.”

“I put him down, it was me.” Choked a tearful Preach. “He got the last word though. He said, ‘Finanally somebody who understands, about F’orc’n time.'”

The charismatic Leeroy was a monolith in the Grunt Nation and an icon in the MML. He was known for his outrageous language and training routines, and his fearless attitude on the field – and for his ability to handle the ball on the pitch.

“Are you the swolest F’orc’n Orc on the planet?” Leeroy would ask his teammates almost daily. “If not, get back to F’orc’n training.”

For much of his career, he flew solo, nobody cared to really give him the time of day or want to be around him – except his fellow Grunts.

“We became Grunts together,” said Whaling Jennings. “I’m not sure what we will do..but it won’t be the same.”

Members of the Nation and MML community responded to Leeroys death via Twerper on Friday.

“He had so much life in his eyes & his spirit, I just pray that he’s in charge of the daily workout routine wherever he is….and we miss him.” Testorclese wrote.

Born in New Orcland, Leeroy grew up in the hovels of Eastside and was a gifted three-sport athlete in high school. He spent time doing competitive lifting before launching his Blood Bowl career.

His father, was a longtime pro blood bowler, and his brother was an up and coming high school player for New Orcland High before signing with a college outside New Orcland.

The Grunts will be placing a Jenkins jersey on the bench for the remainder of the season – a place of honor for their fallen mentor. Additionally, they will be wearing LJ patches over their biceps with the inscription “F’orc Average.”

Leeroy will be greaty missed. He was not f’orc’n average to the end. He was the, “Swolest F’orc’n Orc on the planet.” He faced his death with dignity and he should be honoured in his own words, “F’orc your pity.”….