Have you hugged your pimp today?

Greetings those reading this post. All two of you. How are you?

Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Tea?

Me?

Oh just a little joke to break the ice.

I'm currently drinking Arizona Southern Style Sweet Tea and I actually like it. Considering my long, rather monogamous relationship with Green Tea, this is a rather sultry affair, much like Savannah heat.

Now the commercial portion is out of the way. Things are coming along swimmingly.

(Speaking of swimmingly, you are dead to me if you actually pay to see Shark Tale. Go re-watch Finding Nemo.)

Come close. No, closer.

And por favor, in the name of Dio, listen up.

Today the Farscape Countdown marathon is starting. It is easy to get blank tapes. Hell, steal them if you have to.

For you must (you who are reading this, you who think you know, but you don't), you must watch Farscape.

But Farscape was canceled and it's a lot of catching up and I'm a lazy hobo, I don't even own a T.V.!

Honestly, do you want me to mail you tapes? Because I will. I'll go door to door pimping Farscape if I have to. As for the cancellation, yes it sucked. But you know what? There's a hell of a story in those four seasons and the mini-series is airing on October 17th. Who knows, with enough of a boost and more viewers tuned it, the show might be able to produce another mini-series, or possibly more. And why are you so afraid of trying something new? I swear, you'll like it.

It does come with a guarantee and while John (in Crackers Don't Matter) is wary of salespeople, I swear to you: it can cut through your heart and fuck with your mind like no other show and make you want more.

But I don't want to be confuuuuuused! Isn't there a lot of stuff to keep track of?

Of course there is! Hell, you go seek the most obsessed 'Scapers, get them in a room and ask them if they know everything's that going on. You know what the answer is? "...this show is awesome." Because it is. Yet the reason why that’s the answer is because you don't have to have a clue what's going on without enjoying the ride. It's glib and it's deep and it's complicated. It makes you laugh, cry, feel grossed out and connect with puppets.

Wait a minute. Puppets?

Hell yeah. And don't act like you're a snob, more often than not, you totally watched Sesame Street. You watched The Muppets. And these aren't cute, cuddly, made-for-kids creations: these are aliens, creatures, critters, and god-like species that know how to make life interesting in the Unchartered Territories.

If you don't fall in love with Pilot and despise Rygel (yet find him fascinating), I don't know what to say. These aren't just 'puppets' these are creations that rival the shitty CGI of most super expensive movies and have clear and complex identities.

I still don't want to watch this show. I have ironing to do.

Iron while watching! I mean, what do you want in a show? You give me your Letterman's List, and you'll find Farscape contains all your heart's desires.

And if it's similar to John's list, which contains rather prominently "Love, sex, Aeryn, sex" then you'll be plenty satisfied.

Questions about the show? Need more convincing? Want me to shut up? (Never!) Then drop a comment and I'll do my pimp-style best to rein you birches in.