Sex Blog Roundup

I haven’t typed the words “Sex Blog Roundup” in a very long time. Back in 2005, when it was just Jonno and I running Fleshbot and the commercial porn industry hated us for not being one of them (and for being pro-indie, pro-internet, pro-sexpositive culture, pro-queer, pro-woman, pro-PoC, etc), I was the one who compiled, edited, and published this weekly post. Yep, that was all me! It was one of our most popular posts, not because of me, but because sex blogs were bursting, and they were also somewhat hard to find.

Times have changed. The commercial porn industry got eaten up by the internet, and it’s still just waking up to the value and appeal of actual indie porn. The internet is now a background player on a stage of ruling class darknets — Facebook is the definition a darknet, FYI — and most people think these darknets, apps, and fiefdoms are the internet. The open internet lost to corporations and advertising, which was the exact opposite of what everyone wanted. Over the span of about two decades, most companies welcomed sexual expression as part of the wild fabric of a free and open internet, then acted to censor, silence, and eliminate sexual expression in ways both deceitful and outright.

And yet we persist.

Back when I did the Sex Blog Roundup, people made their own unfiltered, ad-free timeline News Feeds with something called an RSS Reader. The RSS Reader didn’t mediate the relationship in any way. It didn’t tell websites that they had to pay for their followers to see their posts, and there was no chance the RSS Reader would slip in a post or advertisement from someone you didn’t subscribe to. The RSS Reader didn’t work hard to make sure you only saw things that reinforced a narrow worldview, and was ideal for exploration and discovery. The RSS Reader also didn’t spy on you or decide someone you follow is too sexy for your timeline, hiding or eliminating them without telling you. I still use an RSS Reader daily, and you should, too.

Anyway, here are a lot of incredible sex blogs that make the free and open internet a better place. Please share this post and help make their voices easier to find. Sex Blog Roundups are typically a small selection of recent posts on currently operating sex blogs. But there are even more sex blogs to be found on my Links page. I hope this post reflects just some of the richness and diversity of voices and human sexuality that can be found online — despite the best efforts of internet companies to stamp out this crucially needed aspect of our humanity.

“Go get one of your toys.”

My long-distance, phone sex Daddy didn’t have to tell me twice. I immediately jump out of bed, approach my shoe hanger filled with toys, and momentarily pause at the overwhelming amount of options I have. “What kind of toy are you choosing tonight Little Spoon? One of your new ones?” he coos in my ear through the speaker.

Also, if you’re marketing yourself as porn for women, you can also claim that you’re the first to do it, that the market is untapped, that you’re filling a niche that nobody has ever noticed before. For some reason, the media swallow these lines every time.

While blogging gave me an outlet for my writing and my opinions, sex toys were teaching me what my body was capable of. After many months of painful penetration, my steadfast dedication to reviewing insertable toys was paying off. The G-spot, that fabled thing, actually existed. One night, as I was testing a dildo with a unique flat tip, a new sensation began to develop in my body. I felt like I needed to pee.

Without the internet and my immersion in the sex toy world, I would not have known what to do with that feeling. I would’ve ignored it, probably, or attempted to stave it off. Instead, I knew it was a precursor to squirting. I thrust harder with the dildo, and sure enough: I gushed all over the towel under me.

The biggest area we don’t talk about is sex and sexuality. As a society, we inject sex into everything from burger commercials to hidden jokes in children’s movies. Despite being bombarded by sex, we really don’t talk about it. Even our sexual education system is lacking in current, agenda-free information. That becomes even more true for marginalized groups like disabled and chronically fabulous people.

One thing we absolutely must start doing is discussing sexual side effects of medications we take. Sex is a natural part of the human experience, just like disability. To help start the conversation, I’ve pulled side effects of commonly used medications for various categories. (…)

It is the little things that can make me feel the happiest – take most times we have penetrative sex. He always ends it, usually, with one satisfyingly blow of his hand just as I am near finishing climax. The intense thud, followed by the instant heat combined with the waves of pleasure still running through my body are and will always be one of my favourite things. And of course if I wake up the following day and find I am marked, then even better <3

It all started when Violet from A Poly Princess posted her cam room set up for play parties on her Twitter and laid my eyes on hers. I was in awe of it and suddenly remembering how much of a love I have for this particular bit of furniture. I remember the first time I saw one, in the same building I would go to LARP in they also held private play parties. It was taller than me and bright red, I used to enjoy leaning back against it. It was sturdy and so comfortable. Though I never got to use it for its true purpose, it sparked so many thoughts of all the things that could be done.

Those same thoughts floated back to my mind seeing the picture. Just the idea of getting to be attached to the arms and legs of the cross, not able to move. Blindfolded, gagged or even totally deprived of senses. Then what could be done to me!

We were chatting like normal, just having a regular conversation, when he pulled his dick out. Rather than being disgusted or just exiting the chat altogether, I watched. More fascinated than disturbed. That continued for many years. He got turned on by me watching him and I got turned on by watching him get off to me watching him. I was his digital girl. I would watch him jerk his beautiful dick, never taking my eyes off of him. Then watching as his face slightly twitch, him breathing heavily, then him shooting this thick white cum out. The look of relief and pleasure coming across his face every time he was done.

After we disconnected, I would get myself off. For some reason, I enjoyed watching but never wanted to be watched.

Something is going on that I’m not sure many people are aware of because it can be subtle and insidious. It sneaks right past us and suddenly, in the sprinkled throughout our sex “positivity” are pockets of really unpleasant negative shit. I honestly think folks don’t realize how often we yuck all over each other’s yums.

What does that look like? What are these not-so-obvious ways folks who think they are nailing it disparage each other’s turn ons? Let’s look at some examples (…)

So here’s my SOS: share our shit. Share your favourite posts, images, videos, tweets, facebook updates. Links to porn sites where people can pay for amazing stuff. Recommend great erotica to your friends. Make it clear to large platforms that the consumers who click on Amazon and Google ads, who buy clothes and books and video games: these consumers also enjoy porn! And erotica! And other forms of sex! It is not utter fantasy, just a boring and simple truth, that the venn diagram of ‘consumers’ and ‘adult consumers’ is a circle. This is important because when platforms push sex content into a silo they’re effectively telling people that sex is different to anything else that humans do. It should be separate. We should take a surgical blade to our brains and our lives and neatly slice sex from the rest of it.

Such as: worrying about how the free and independent open web (which means, those of us whose stuff is on our own domains and servers, not on some “free” social media site or blogging/picture service that can change the rules without notice) are going to survive long enough that we’ll still be here when the rubble stops bouncing. Because this shit cannot last. Blockchain tech and peer-to-peer and strong crypto and supercomputers in every pocket and software radios strong enough to bounce streaming video off of hobbyist drone balloons in the jet stream and more awesome cryptoanarchist shit of that sort that I’m too old and slow to understand: it’s not just coming, it’s already here, it’s just not been patched together properly yet. And when that happens, Facebook is dead. PayPal, Visa, Mastercard? Dead. Patreon and all the other crowdfunding middlemen? Dead. Twitter and Google? Dead. Oh, we’ll have things that look like social media and payments and search and crowdfunding, but they won’t be gatekeepers, they won’t be censors, and they won’t suck more than a microfraction out of any transaction. Because if they try, they’ll be ignored and replaced in real time.

The trick, as it’s always been, is to survive in the meanwhile. Head down, shoulder to the harness because the mules are dead, do the work.

The London Times named Violet Blue "One of the 40 bloggers who really count" and Self Magazine named TinyNibbles one of the “Best Sex Resources for Women.” Blue is an author and journalist on sex and technology, hacking and security, porn for women, privacy and bleeding-edge tech culture. She is a columnist for Engadget; she's an educator, speaker, crisis counselor, volunteer NGO trainer, and the author and editor of over 40 award-winning books. Blue is also an advisor for Without My Consent, as well as a member of the Internet Press Guild.

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I missed this when you first published but am so with you about a society being dishonest about free speech. I have also participated in #Soss for the last three weeks – also talking about censorship and shadowbanning (was all of last week) – as well as sharing erotic post links. If u have a moment please take a looks at them.

I found out about you through Fleshbot and I’m almost certain that I learned about and started using RSS readers because of you. I filled up my reader with a bunch of links from your page. I haven’t used one in a long time, I better fix that.

Thank you so much for including my site here. I appreciate it immensely, especially right now. I’m one of the many who has been shadowbanned by Twitter and am still reeling from the idea of my little “sex, mental health, and no one is broken” site being less acceptable than hate-filled nazi accounts. Remembering there’s a whole community of us dealing with this makes it, while not better, a bit less scary. Thank you for all you do, Violet.