Speaker, Author, CEO

I was surprised today while playing golf with someone I believed had a ton of confidence.

She looks confident, she is uber successful, she displays all the body language of confident people and most important when she speaks she speaks confidently!

So I was thrown when she displayed a lack of confidence on a particular subject and it got me asking the question to myself, what is confidence?

Since I’ve been a female business owner for many years and my work required me to travel 80% of the time, I had to possess confidence in order to travel alone to unknown cities and stay in unknown hotels. I had the confidence very early in my career to sit in a hotel restaurant or bar alone and begin friendly conversations.

This is one definition of confidence.

Another definition would be the ability to speak in front of a small or large group of people. I know for many this type of confidence is out of the question, however for me as my job required the presentation of technical training I also found this confidence.

For me to define what is confidence, is really for me to define what is a confident trait of mine only. Each one of us defines confidence in what we perceive to be those actions that stretch us or causes us to reach out into what makes us uncomfortable.

So is confidence the ability to over come the comfortable? I think so!

I consider myself as I’m sure most people that know me a women who is outgoing, lively and generally friendly when it comes to meeting new people.

I believe when I’m at a business event I am especially careful to listen closely as I learn about the new people I’m introduced to. This is something I haven’t always been the good at.

I got into a discussion the other day with a group of likeminded business women and the discussion lead to whether or not we feel value in some of the women networking events around our local area.

Personally I have had nearly all positive experiences however the number of these events have most likely numbered less than 20.

For those in our discussion however they brought up collectively that sometimes women in business will digress their conversations away from business and into topics that most of the women with me had little use for.

This lead me to think about how in my opinion one of the most important characteristic in a friend is that they understand me. So if I’m an entrepreneur, business woman, risk taker etc it might make sense to surround myself with women who can also claim these characteristics. This way my friends for certain know me and most certainly understand me and in turn I understand them.

I think we should take advantage of finding friends that have similar interests and perhaps have similar perspective on business challenges. We can then feel comfort, understanding and wisdom during the ups and downs that is our business life, this is why I believe women in business make some of the best girlfriends!

I didn’t google this but I’m sure multiple people have said it. I heard the concept as I watch Kung Fu Panda at the movie theater with my daughters over the holiday.

So the key here is growth right? Or is it to not be complacent? I think about someone I know, a former friend and collegue who is so caught up in what she used to be that she has no use for embarking on developing further. She is anxious to get back what she lost, anxious to be her former uber successful self. For her, since she won’t change, she will surely never be more than she is today, for this statement fits her like a glove.

For myself however, when I don’t feel exactly excited about potential opportunities or I don’t feel especially charged about the direction of my business or my career, it is time for me to step back and see what is it that I can try differently. I step back and see what it is that I’m not doing that I need to try!

In order words, I try to find, what it is that I’ve never done before. I then plan to see if I can master it and see if it will bring a new talent into my skill set so to speak. Perhaps it might be something that is a catalyst for good, for growth and could benefit me and my company for years moving forward.

The statement that “you will never be more than you are today” is a statement that I’m afraid of quite frankly. This is a good fear because this fear is what motivates me to make sure that I’m constantly evolving, constantly learning and in the end I’m optimistic that my best days are yet to come…… No, more than optimistic, I am 100% sure of it!

As I sit at my coffee table enjoying an unusually “free” Saturday morning, I can’t help but appreciate the stillness, quietness (my daughters are upstairs reading) and sense of calm around me.

I turn immediately to gratefulness for this day and the lifestyle that has been afforded to me. I remember it wasn’t long ago, (approximately two and half-years ago) that I relocated my family to Tampa after a series of unfortunate events and having less than $15k to my name and a number of pending legal actions before me.

I remember at that time thinking I would do anything necessary to take care of my family and build a new life for us. I was determined to build the “best” life for my daughters. In my mind I envisioned working 2 or 3 jobs if necessary and working Saturdays to do whatever it would take.

I had more than just “thoughts” about what I wanted though; I had VISIONS of what our life was going to look like in Tampa Bay. A great gated community, a fantastic school, involvement in a great country club. I saw myself playing tennis and golf as part of my weekly routine and “hopefully” gain new friends that would fill the void left from leaving a number of amazing “salt of the earth” girlfriends back in the harbor.

I saw my daughters excelling academically and being able to swim, bike or simply just being outside while the sun was shining.

Even more specifically I saw my backyard, formerly seeing the ocean my fantasy evolved into being backed up to the golf course so at a moment’s notice I’m walking with my clubs in hand to the tee, or with a tennis racket on the way to the courts. I saw all this as I closed my eyes and prayed for our new life. I saw exactly where I live today. Today we have all of this, and yet even more than I imagined.

For this there are no words that come to mind this morning but the one that comes close is the word “GRATEFUL”!

In my book, “Never Drink Coffee” there’s a quote I love in the beginning of Chapter 13 which starts “It’s impossible to live without failing unless you live so cautiously……”J.K. Rowling

I thought of this quote after hearing a story about my parents attending a not for profit “gaming night” a while ago.

What struck me about their story was when learning how some people in their group were very conservative with their gambling money even though the money wasn’t theirs.

To me this was crazy talk!! Because of course I am a gambler, I learned how to play craps in Wendover, Nevada before I was twenty-one years old. I’m the type of person that could stay at a winning blackjack table through the night in any given Casino.

Although I can’t say I’ve gambled much lately, gambling and taking risks is part of my DNA. In fact my ninety year old Grandmother (Julia Garcia) used to stay up all nights at the casino herself…sometimes I would take her, when I was in my college days.

So I understand why I gravitate to the types of quotes and ideas that talk about taking risks as being one of the roads to success. In running my business and even in directing my personal life I have taken numerous risks, therefore to gamble or not gamble….no question to me, I am a gambler!

This is the question all business owners ponder, lose sleep over and “hope” they can answer correctly.

So my answer, (not really an answer), “I wait until I receive requests for bids for our work”…

We all know this is really the wrong answer…..so why does it work for us?

I know our company is an abnormality; our success is different from most companies our size but I’ve always inherently known that we are both blessed and skilled in what we do.

For me, I think my business is different from the rest, but perhaps this thinking is nothing but naive.

What I mean is, the reason we don’t need sales people is because we have learned what our clients need and our mission is to fulfill these needs in the most innovative, cost efficient and awesome ways!

So my answer to the question “How do we gain clients?” is really this……

You continually strive to perfect your services to your existing clientele and then you expect they will continue using your services and provide you with continued business.