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A little retrospection

Jimmy called around, and we discussed some home improvements. Jimmy is the handiest handyman/fixer/builder that I know of and he has some great mates who are top rate electricians and plumbers. We are going to do a little refurbishing of the kitchen, and Jimmy dismissed all my fears of a ‘big job’. So that is a weight off my mind.

We also arranged for a bloke to come around and do some heavy gardening that has been worrying me for a while. Another weight gone.

And the PDs got crapped on. From a great height. Good riddance. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of people.

Now that the dust is beginning to settle on yesterday, things don’t look too bad.

We are in for some ‘interesting’ times. Bertie may end up as Taoiseach, but he is either going to have to rely on a lot of independents and the Greens or he is going to have to sway Labour.

I can’t see the latter happening, but if it did, it’s going to be a mad coalition. But it would be the end of Labour. I doubt anyone would ever trust them again.

Whatever happens, I can’t see us ending up with a stable government.

Another very strange thing happened last night.

I saw Bertie being interviewed, and I actually liked him. Just for a moment.

He came across as humourous and reasonably intelligent. He was coherent. He made sense. He was relaxed. He slagged off journalists [which didn’t amuse John Bowman]. He was likeable.
And then I remembered the state of the country, and the moment passed.

So I’m back now to planning the revolution. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

I will make an excellent leader. I’m honest. I’m not corrupt. I will keep my word. I will put the people of this country first.

But I need financing.

So if there are people out there who would like to send me some bulging brown envelopes? I have set up the offshore account and the biggest donors will get the best jobs.

Make me Minister for Preventive Medicine. Hospitals will then be needed for mechanical repairs and replacements only, as well as midwifery back-up services. Present hospital buildings will convert to state-funded Wellness Institutes where we all must go once a year for 2 weeks for full check-ups plus updated personal annual programme for health maintenance, spa-type relaxation treatments, stress management and meditation classes. (That’s not my full policy document of course – just a taster).

Note: In Ancient China they paid physicians to keep the emperor well. If he became ill, the physicians got the chop (as in Head Chopped Off). A bit extreme…. but heading (ouch, sorry!) in the right direction.

As health minister I wish to propose the Swiss model for dealing with drugs. Those who want “hard” drugs can obtain them through state clinics. This means that there is no money to be made in drugs and there are consequently no drugs barons and no drugs crime.

Shite, I seem to have missed out on the coup. That’s what I get for spending the entire Sunday in my pyjamas. Any portfolios left? You could send me somewhere hot and sunny as ambassador, I’m very diplomatic really…