If you could design the perfect homeschool community for yourself and your kids, what would it look like?

When I came to Texas from Florida five years ago, I had to recreate what I believed
was a pretty great homeschool community for my kids, then aged 11 and 16. I admit, I had no idea how to do that.

I met a woman who was new to homeschooling at the time, and she said that she went to a New to Homeschooling Seminar at a little place in Watauga called The Center for Home Education. Not sure what to expect, we headed on down Mid-Cities Blvd. to The Center. There we saw an adorable little building with a wrap around porch, a little café, and bookstore and met the nicest group of people. There was even a kid or two with ukuleles or guitars strumming on the porch. Really. Very Texas-y, I thought.

My older daughter finished her high school years and graduated from The Center in one of the most exquisite commencement ceremonies I have ever attended. My younger one, now 16, is very active in the theatre program at The Center.

The theatre program is just extraordinary. The Theatre Director, Anicia Brown, has been running this little theatre for over 10 years. If your child has a grain of talent, Anicia will find it and grow it. Is your child introverted? She can fix that too! Believe me. Anicia is first-rate, as are the performances at The Cottage Theatre. I have heard many people comment, upon leaving the Center theatre, that what they have seen has rivaled performances at Bass Hall. Anicia also runs all the theatre classes in addition to the plays and musicals, which are performed year-round.

The Center for Home Education is now owned by an accomplished woman named Donna Jones. Donna has a Masters Degree in social work and has the unique ability to come along side parents in their homeschooling journey, giving them all the encouragement and expertise they need to say “I CAN do this!.” We call Donna our CEO, Chief Encouragement Officer.

The Center offers core and elective classes from K-12, so they cover all the bases in terms of support for your homeschool, but it is much more than that. The teachers understand that each child has a unique set of God-given gifts and they work hard to help bring that out in the child. In fact, the Center has helped me to accomplish one of my main goals in homeschooling. I wanted to homeschool so that my kids could be the person God intended them to be, and not what the world says they should be.

It is not just Donna and the teachers, however. I can tell you from experience that the parents that are part of the Center’s community are encouragers to all the kids as well. My daughter was a reluctant thespian initially. This changed after one of the parents at The Center encouraged her by saying, “I saw what you did on that stage, and I believe you have real talent!” What a profoundly gracious thing to say! And because of that, my daughter has now been in 21 performances and has played everything from ensemble to lead.

And you know what? I set out five years ago to recreate the exemplary homeschool community that I had in Florida, but I believe we are actually a part of something better. If I could design a community for my homeschooling kids to grow up in, this would be it. But I didn’t have to, because it is already here. Blessings!

Why does Brian understand what you are teaching him one day but then a few days later he cannot remember a thing? Why does Cathy understand her math facts one week but does not know them a few weeks later? Why is your child’s handwriting almost non legible? Does your 5th or 6th grader still struggle to ask questions out loud in a group setting? Have difficulty concentrating, spelling, reading, or remembering what he read? Does your sweet child have difficulties making and keeping friends? Does she interrupt, have trouble socializing, and sometimes miss out on body language or facial cues of those who are listening to her? Is your child unsure of themselves, or even believe that they are “stupid” and “can’t learn anything.” Has your child been bullied, picked on, and called a “baby” because they can’t read or keep up academically with their same age peers? Does your child “hate school?” You are not alone!

Parents, grandparents, great-aunts and friends know that they have a loved one, a sweet boy or girl that has one or many of the above-mentioned dynamics playing out in their lives. Oftentimes nobody knows what to do to help. Unfortunately, years of struggles can go by without any real and lasting changes. These kids need help to get in touch with their natural desire to be curious and learn!! Yes!! We are all born with a natural curiosity to learn! It is not about “developing a love of learning” but rather, to help these children to dig deep inside and pull out that God given natural bent to learn things and explore their world.

Watch any preschooler as they walk into an area with “new” toys, sights, and sounds. They are instantly drawn towards these new things! They want to pick them up and observe them and figure out what they can do with them. It is their God given natural curiosity about their surroundings. A 5 year old will dance with joy as she enjoys fun upbeat music! They will open box lids; they will look under a cover or behind a screen. We all started out that way!

Children even enjoy learning the sounds of the alphabet! And learning the names of objects in books! Until someone “tests” them and creates a performance driven event of which the child cannot answer correctly. As soon as they cannot read the word ‘CAT’, they realize that they disappointed someone. This lack of being able to decode letters gets labeled as ‘a problem’ and now adults start to ask more and more of the child. Not being able to read, they eventually become aware that they are not learning and understanding like everyone else. So, they start to sense that there is a problem, that they have a problem. In a negative environment, these kids get called “baby” and “stupid” and maybe “lazy.” And now everyone is telling this child that he is not living up to his potential! That he is not paying attention, or trying hard enough! It is impossible to read if you cannot decode the letters! This sets up a vicious cycle of hiding. The student now is going to “guess” the answers by looking at the pictures. This can go on for Kindergarten, First grade, the repeat of First grade, Second grade and Third grade.

Usually by the age of 9 or 3rd grade, the “learning glitch” is obvious to everyone. How does a kid feel when he finds himself not able to produce and perform at the level of most everyone else in his class? What if he has siblings that have no learning glitches? Low self-esteem looks like “my kid is lazy.” Headaches, stomachaches, and anger can be symptoms of a kid suffering from a learning glitch.

What would happen if you could take this same 10 year old kid out of the negative environment that is suffocating him? What if there was a place for my sweet child to make friends, to be accepted, to be loved, to be mentored, and to be given praise for what he DOES know instead of beaten down for what he DOESN’T know?

The truth is that it might take several months of un-doing the damage that has been done. At no fault of our own, we might have contributed to our child’s low self-esteem, self-doubt, and loathing of ALL things having to do with “school and learning!” As parents, we want the best for our children. As parents, we sometimes get frustrated and feel helpless, ending up in increased stress for the family.

God’s word says we are wonderfully and fearfully made. That He formed us even before the beginning of time. That we are made in His image, and that we are His children. His word says that He knows the plans He has made for us and those are plans to prosper us. God’s ways are perfect. The above-mentioned 10 year old needs to be reunited with God’s love for him, God’s care of him, God’s plans for him, and God’s creation, including him and his brain and his very life! He needs to hear that he is worthy of “being taken care of” whether his brain does not know how to decode letters, whether his eyes need glasses, whether he has diabetes or whether he needs a wheelchair to get around. We are designed by God, we have the hair color, the eye color, the parents, the brain and the number of toes we have because God in His sovereignty designed us that way. We are to trust in the Lord and lean not on our own understanding; to seek God’s wisdom in all areas of our life. As parents, we want to take care of our child’s needs. Sometimes we don’t know how and we need to ask for help.

Does anything in this paper “ring a bell” or sound familiar? We love these kids! We love to help students that have been in a downward spiral of self-esteem and low academic performance. When given the right attention, the time to form a bond with classmates, in an accepting atmosphere, under the care and love of an adult educator, these sweet children return to their true selves! They relearn that they are valuable just the way they are! They discover that they can learn, that they can remember, that they are lovable and likeable and that they have great ideas to share with others! They get in touch with their natural born curiosity and desire to learn new things. They learn about grace, and patience and mercy. They learn to accept their own flaws and forgive the flaws in others. Kids with social anxiety, kids with awkward social skills, kids who need to “belong” will be welcome and loved in our safe, close-knit community. We have others that are just like your child. We have a class just for these type kiddos in these type situations.

My life as a math teacher/tutor changed the day one of my students told me that MATH was an acronym for Mental Abuse Towards Humans. Though a bit grammatically off and crude, there is a bit of perceptive truth in this revelation…and humor!

One of the most common concerns that I see in math students of all ages is a fear or insecurity that they simply are not smart enough. The problem with this way of thinking is you don’t have to be smart to be superb at math; you just have to be willing to follow a process. The actual “mental abuse” is often not from the math itself, but from the environment in which the student has to approach the subject or the conditioning, the student has already received from past experiences. Worse yet, it could be the things they have been told, sadly often from parents.

Take for example a parent that, for whatever reason, never learned how to ride a bicycle. Their child begins to take an interest in riding a bike. What parent would ever say, “Don’t count on me to help you. I was never good at riding a bicycle.” This would only deepen any fears about riding a bicycle by causing them to think, “If my mom can’t ride one, it must be really hard” or “If Dad won’t be there to help me, who will?”
It is the same when a child needs to learn math. Maybe math was not your best subject. You are as afraid of math as you know your child is, if not more because now you have the responsibility to teach them. You may just be projecting your fear of math onto your child. Just like riding the bike, creating new fear in your children due to your apprehension toward math can be more of a hindrance than the math content itself.

I often see students with real fear (stress, shakes, crying, etc.) walking into math class, if we even get them that far. My first goal on day one is not to teach math, but alleviate fears. Really. I don’t touch math on day one. We make the day about the individual; what they like, what they don’t like, and what they want to do when they grow up. I sing. I dance. I draw funny pictures on the board. I allow the students to laugh in a room that will be their math environment going forward.

As parents, we should also not be afraid to admit we’re not good at math. Even so, we’ve arrived at this point in life, waking every day, loving ourselves and loving our children. The point is, we need, to be honest, but with hope for the student. Unfortunately, many parents will still let pride get in the way and attempt to teach math on their own, even though they just told the child math is not their favorite subject. This approach has too much potential to create additional stress for the child and further increase frustration with both the parent and child.

Parents, do not be afraid to obtain the assistance of others you trust to teach your child math. Discuss it in a positive manner with your child as you might when explaining why we use doctors, barbers, or other professionals rather than doing tasks ourselves. They know what they are doing. They can help me accomplish a major goal. They help us as a family. They keep me from walking out of the house with a terrible haircut!

We should not lie to our children. Math can be difficult, more so for some than others. However, fear should never be the reason why our children will not approach math. We should always build a positive environment for our children as we teach any subject. Think of it this way: I finally rode my first big roller coaster only after the desire to ride the coaster was more than the fear that once kept me off of it.