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Party Rock is in the House

Invited to an off-campus party this weekend? Don’t count on out-drinking the hosts.

According to a recent study by Ohio State University, hosts of off-campus parties drink a great deal more than the attendees of those parties. I know what you’re thinking, “What!? Frat guys get more wasted than anyone else at their own parties!? How could that be!?” Luckily, OSU has volunteered their expertise in helping us understand this unbelievable phenomenon.

Okay, so maybe I was a little heavy-handed with the sarcasm there, but you have to admit that this study is a little ridiculous. The hosts of off-campus parties: 1. Supply the alcohol, 2. Limit the alcohol consumption of party attendees by charging for it, and therefore 3. Get more intoxicated than any of the visiting partygoers. It’s not exactly rocket science.

In contrast to those hosting off-campus house parties, those who throw on-campus parties in student housing don’t get quite as drunk as the party attendees. The study claims that this is because on-campus students have greater repercussions by living in residence halls and therefore are more conscious of their actions. But as a retired Resident Assistant, I’d like to respectfully disagree with that finding. When Cynthia Buettner (the author of the OSU study) has witnessed a bathroom full of alcohol-poisoned residents due to the aftermath of hosting a “rager” in their dorm rooms, then she can come talk to me.

What’s more, those who formulated this study actually think that they can curb college drinking by trying to “get people to think about hosting a party in a particular way.” Thanks, OSU, but could you be any more vague?

It’s commendable that higher education officials think they can deter students from heavy drinking by formulating and enforcing stricter university rules, but if being an RA has taught me one thing, it’s that if students want to drink, they’re going to drink.

Heavy drinking is a serious problem among today’s youth and college-aged students, but the only way to truly and effectively reduce that heavy drinking is for the students themselves to realize the dangers on their own. Here’s to hoping that they find out before it’s too late.

And for those who completely ignored that last paragraph, I just have one (hyphenated) word for you: Pre-gaming.

—Amber Brenza

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People that get really drunk at off-campus parties… ..go home. The only people that get really drunk and don’t leave on a shoulder or a stretcher… …probably live there. 2+2=4 little miss statistics pants. It’s not aerospace engineering. I know I was drunk, but it was my party. You weren’t even there because you’re an RA and weren’t invited.
Here’s a statistic that I just made up, but’s probably true; According to a recent RA study, people that host Scrabble parties are really friggin good at Scrabble. Then again, I wasn’t there because I’m not 60 yet. Suck it.