I know I haven’t been as active on my blog and YouTube this week like usual. It’s because I have a problem. A body confidence problem. I filmed a whole video and just couldn’t find myself to edit it. I just didn’t like how my body looked in the try on haul I was filming.

I’ve always been a confident person but when it comes to my weight I have more of a problem. I’m not fat by any means. I don’t hate my body either but I know when I need to lose weight. When I’ve been eating a lot of junk I can see and feel a difference in my body. I just don’t feel as good about myself as I would when I feel healthy and have been eating good.

So, I have a whole try on haul that I won’t be posting on my channel. I thought about posting it just because it could all be in my head. I decided not to because I just don’t want to put that on my channel and blog. I want to share with you guys someone who is healthy and I am not healthy right now.

I will still make a blog post about my haul but I will be taking new photos and it will go up next week. I just wanted to talk to talk to you guys about confidence and weight loss and talking about our bodies.

I have insecurities. I know that it’s probably more in my head than anything else but it eats me alive. I just can’t find the confidence to say “this is me” and “deal with it”. I know I don’t look healthy. Not to say anything against plus size woman and men or anyone with any body type. This is more about me and my mental state. I find that I am harsher on my body when I know I haven’t eaten well or been working out.

As a blogger especially a lifestyle blogger who talks about clothes and life and makeup and whatever it is, I have to show myself. I have a hard time showing myself when I don’t feel beautiful. It’s something I struggle with. I can’t image people who have immense followings who always have to show up do it. Are these people confident in their bodies and how they look or do they just get over it and move on?

I am hoping one day to figure it out and be able to see myself in a better light when I do gain weight. I don’t believe that we should always be obsessed with our weight. I don’t want my life to revolve around how I look and the number on the scale.

Do any other bloggers feel down about themselves sometimes and not want to post online? In a world that is so preoccupied with followers and likes it really is hard to put yourself out there to be scrutinized.

What do you guys think? How do you guys feel about insecurity and the online world?

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