I thought I'd ask this question here rather than on the road cycling forum in order to get less flak and a more sober answer. This sounds trivial, maybe even silly, but it isn't. When one wears spandex, padded cycling shorts (sans underwear) should one's privates go down one leg or the other, or be tucked front and center (straight up, so to speak)? I've been riding with the package down one leg or the other, but I find that I don't sit squarely on the saddle, but tend to favor the side - well, you get the picture..

Since this info isn't in any cycling magazine that I've read, nor in the shorts manufacturer's literature, how is this best dealt with? Enquiring minds want to know

Location: The Alta Loma area of Rancho Cucamonga. About 45 miles east of Los Angeles, California. Uphill, downhill and across hill riding; not too level!

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Originally Posted by FarHorizon

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Since this info isn't in any cycling magazine that I've read, nor in the shorts manufacturer's literature, how is this best dealt with? Enquiring minds want to know

Thanks!

I must admit that I was in my favorite LBS yesterday and a road rider on an Orbea was in. I "Just happened" to notice that he had his up and to his left.

Husband wears his with the two boys evenly divided and Mr. Happy to his left.

I guess it is a matter of what is most comfortable to you and if you are uncomfortable with favoring one side, well, I guess you will just have to move "things" around til you are comfortable--but not in public, please.

God only knows what I look like with my big buns stuffed into spandex!

I thought I'd ask this question here rather than on the road cycling forum in order to get less flak and a more sober answer. This sounds trivial, maybe even silly, but it isn't. When one wears spandex, padded cycling shorts (sans underwear) should one's privates go down one leg or the other, or be tucked front and center (straight up, so to speak)? I've been riding with the package down one leg or the other, but I find that I don't sit squarely on the saddle, but tend to favor the side - well, you get the picture..

Since this info isn't in any cycling magazine that I've read, nor in the shorts manufacturer's literature, how is this best dealt with? Enquiring minds want to know

Thanks!

Maybe it's just me, but I always wear underwear with any shorts, in which case it's not an issue. Am I in the minority here?

To many this is not trivial or silly but very serious. If I get off centered the ride can be misrable. I have found that not all bicycle shorts and chamois are created equal. First try different shorts and maby a size bigger. A little looser fit may be all that is needed. There is underwear designed to be worn with bicycle clothing. An extra layer such as rain pants also contribute to the problem. Last but not least try fiddling with your riding position including saddle positioning.
Phil

...try different shorts and maby a size bigger. A little looser fit may be all that is needed.

Thanks, Phil, but in my looser shorts are where the bulk of the problem lies (no jokes, please..). Things don't stay put with looser shorts and having unnoticed movement while riding can ruin my day. The consensus among the "professional" blokes shown in this thread's photos seems to be "straight-up."

This brings up the question of involuntary physiological responses. They don't happen often on rides, but they do happen. If the "straight up" option is employed, doesn't this risk some chance of at the least, significant immodesty and at worst, exposure above and beyond the waistband?

FarHorizon, these are pretty good suggestions, you'll need to try out some positions and see how it goes. Also check out your saddle position so the saddle is not adding to the discomfort, it should be parallel to the ground, or with the front down slightly. Not sure what saddle you ride on, but there are some nice designs these days that are soft in the contact zone, you might look at the options. Good luck

Hey, I fogot about baseball--and that reminds me of the infamous Baseball thing done by Roseanne!
Does Liking to Bare Witness have anything to do with those Jehovah's people going door-to-door nekkid?

Hey, foehn, How can one forget Roseanne... By "baring witness" I was simply referring to your readily admitted and duly noted youthful interest that caused you to "just happen" to not be able to keep your eyes off that guy's crotch in the LBS. But you can't be blamed. Most of us guys feel like "eye candy" when we wear our spandex.

Oh but to still have those involuntary physiological responses. 21 years in less than pristine military environmet including Vietnam has taken that away from me. Even Viagra is ineffective. You may try bibs for that though. I would still look for the largest chamois in any gear. A buttpack that you can swivel to the front may cover until involuntary response subsides when you stop and get off the bike.

Many write here laughing but I suspect there are many more in the shadows hoping to solve thier own problem. When over 50 just let the chips fall where they may. A ticket for accidental indecent exposure while riding would be almost as great as a speeding ticket. Pay it and frame it.
Phil

Location: The Alta Loma area of Rancho Cucamonga. About 45 miles east of Los Angeles, California. Uphill, downhill and across hill riding; not too level!

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Originally Posted by jabike

Hey, foehn, How can one forget Roseanne... By "baring witness" I was simply referring to your readily admitted and duly noted youthful interest that caused you to "just happen" to not be able to keep your eyes off that guy's crotch in the LBS. But you can't be blamed. Most of us guys feel like "eye candy" when we wear our spandex.

Wellllll, for all the talk about "packages" and who's got what, where and such and in what position and what condition, one would think that youse all would be eager to put out some eye candy ... I mean there are lotsa women who do it for you guys, no?

And I gotta say I normally don't glance at a guy like that, because I am usually too busy yakking, but this guy . . .well, WELL, lets just say he had reeeeely tight fitting shorts and his chamois must've been pretty nonexistant--or he was dipped in black paint!

I could never understand why most straight guys cannot handle being eye candy. . .to paraphrase: "all men are good to look at, but some men are better than others!"