Breaking celebrity haircut news! Joining the ranks of Demi Moore and Rooney Mara before her, Anne Hathaway has caused a larger stir than is warranted after lopping off her precious tresses for a movie. Losing more than a bunch of body weight Fantine in the upcoming adaptation of Les Misérables, the actress is making like '90s Winona Ryder with a good ol' pixie cut. [E!]

Following a pleasant 11 days off formal probation, prominent shit-magnet Lindsay Lohan is back in the hot seat after a woman filed a police report claiming the actress punched her at The Standard in West Hollywood. Word on the club floor is that the woman was talking to a male friend of Lohan's and the spitfire was none too pleased and starting pushing and shoving her before clocking her one in the back. However, Lohan's rep, Steve Honig, is calling bullshit. "Lindsay was absolutely not involved in any sort of altercation whatsoever," he said. "This is clearly another case of someone looking for money and 15 minutes of fame." Either way, maybe it's best she steers clear of clubs for a spell. [TMZ, NYDN]
Update! Lindsay wasn't even at the club. She was in her Pajama Jeans, watching Homeland. [TMZ]

They're a little light on the details — and it seems like a bunch of codswallop anyhow — but TMZ's super sleuths say that Bobbi Kristina has expressed an interest in playing her mom Whitney Houston in a film about her life. Which is a terrible/captivating idea. [TMZ]

Katy Perry tells her hysterical fans to calm down because she's not that big of a deal. "I want to be as approachable as possible," she said. "I'll say, ‘Calm down, there's nothing to cry about. Let's just have a good time.'" She then veers into celebrity whining territory by complaining about fame. "I'm tired of being famous, but I'm not tired of creating," she added. "Fame is just a disgusting by-product of what I do." [The Sun]

World-class cry-baby Jesse James is having a tanty because people can't seem to forget he repeatedly stuck his dick in everything that moved when he was with Sandra Bullock. "It's just the nature of my life. People always will want me sainted one minute, and strung up the next," he lamented. She's America's less annoying sweetheart, what did he expect? [Radar]

Making it one of the more surreal dining experiences to be had in the city last week, Chelsea supper club The Darby asked Gerard Butler to belt out a few songs by The Doors and Rolling Stones, and the actor was more than happy to oblige – even throwing in a "old-school freestyle rap" before bringing the house down with his rousing rendition of "Wonderwall." "He looked the best he's ever looked, and had the entire restaurant singing," said a witness. "He killed it!" [Page Six]

Still plaguing the people of Australia with her seemingly endless tour of irrelevancy, Paris Hilton had a podium dancer fired for daring to shaking her business alongside the heiress at the launch of some shit club at Sydney's Star City Casino. [Perth Now]

Do you take issue with fake tanning? Well, you need to cast your anguished cries Victoria Beckham's way because she's the one who popularized the trend, according to bronzing "expert" Nichola Joss. [SMH]

Rooney Mara and Jude Law were treated to a fancy dinner by Steven Soderbergh before heading off to shoot Bitter Pill in a prison. Where they'll presumably be forced to live off a diet of cigarettes, gruel and rats. [Page Six]

Those who get all tingly at the mention of weddings will no doubt be excited to hear that Jessica Biel spent seven hours trying on dresses at Giambattista Valli and Elie Saab in Paris over the weekend. For the rest of us, however, it sounds like endless minutes of boring hell. [NYDN]

Now, I'm not sure about you but I don't feel that any religious or non-denominational holiday is complete without a little erotic cheer. So thank the sexy gods that consummate performance artist Courtney Stodden brought it in a big way with an appropriately semi-clad Easter photo shoot. "Spreading some erotic Easter spirit your way-xoxoxoxo," she Tweeted. [E!]

It's official! The Hunger Games has officially sunk [GONG!] Titanic 3D after it won the weekend box office for the third time. Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio will also be hanging their heads in shame when they hear that American Reunion also beat them. [E!]

The delightfully delusional Bethenny Frankel says that Mila Kunis would be the perfect choice to play her on the big screen in a story about her life. She'll also get the last laugh over me when, due to the sorry-ass state of US cinema, it goes into production. [US]

Eddie Cibrian, seen here making a hilarious joke about the pregnancy rumors surrounding his wife LeAnn Rimes, continues to be the man many of us are too ashamed to admit we'd nominate as our hall pass. [US]

Christian pin-up boy Tim Tebow uses his celebrity for good or evil, depending on how you look at it, by drawing the crowds to an Easter Sunday service. [People]

Amanda Bynes looks suitably glum following her release from jail/drunkenly driving into a cop car. [People]

Following the slightly unsettling revelation that Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick are distant cousins, Finding Your Roots sets out to uncover just how incesty things really are. [People]

Mark Wahlberg decided to take his muscles for a dip at a Miami Beach. His kids were also along for the ride. [Radar]

Teen Mom 2 "star" Leah Messer is now a teen bride, after she married Jeremy Calvert. [Radar]

Readers of the Vanessa Williams memoir "You Have No Idea" had better brace themselves for a stomach churner after the actress reveals the time she was molested by an 18-year-old family friend in upsetting detail. [Hollywood Reporter]

Keeping the paps from getting a snap of your vulva is a great way to learn how to ride your bicycle one-handed, as Miley Cyrus discovered. [Daily Mail]

Stock photo fail: A photograph of Scarlett Johansson is being used in a sex shop ad in Mexico. [TMZ]