I think the reason I was able to pretend my first few Crohn's flares were nothing is because I worked in a hospital. I could just go change my scrubs, take a shower in the OR changing room, (we had just remodeled with private showering areas)...we had equipment in my unit to deal with even the most embarrassing symptoms. I think that helped me maintain my state of denial for a few years.

Of course, the bad part of all that is I knew the nasty comments that some staff made about patients with CD/UC, so I also avoided a diagnosis for a while....

All three of these given by one person for one shift after we called her for not showing up, and stating she did not know she had to work (this was her regular scheduled weekend) :
There was a fire down the road that nite, which gave her a headache, so she called 911 and went to the ER via EMS...also she may have a spider bite.

"I had diarrhea" or "my tooth hurts." I'm pretty sure the diarrhea one was fake because someone else had to go home for stomach upset and this girl didn't want to stay at work either. The toothache was just ridiculous!

There's also a girl who calls off and then tells everyone a different story: she didn't feel good, her kid was sick, her car broke down... okay which one is it?

At my old job I once had lots of diarrhea but I was too embarrassed to say it (this was before I EVER thought about CNA work!), so I tried to call off with "menstrual cramps." Manager scoffed and made me come in anyway. It sucked because I was working alone and kept having to run to the bathroom and if there was a line of customers I'd have to grit my teeth and clench my cheeks!

I know this thread is older but I have to leave a comment. The funniest excuse I have heard from a CNA at my work is " I cannot come in my dog has vaginitis." Then this CNA proceeded to come to work later with her dog! YUCK!

-After a light snow: 'My mom is old'. We decided he was expecting her to shovel and was worried she might keel over. BTW, she lived with him but was perfectly capable of functioning on her own in the house that day and any other day.

-'I'm not coming in tomorrow because it's supposed to be a sunny day'. Apparently, they don't do 10 day weather forecasts anymore so she had to wait until <24 hours before her shift.

-'If I go to work, my cousin can't go to school' (This is actually mine). I need to help out a relative holding a yard sale because he needs to take his daughter to the school bus at 0715, but can't leave all the stuff out in the driveway unattended. I work 3-11, so if I am up at 0500 to set up and work this garage sale, the thought of finishing up there in time to work my normal shift is less than appealing. However, if I bail on the garage sale, the only solution is to keep her home from school.

These are from the same student within a week. Classes are at the same time every single day so why she would schedule her dd to be in swim class when she knows she has school is beyond me. Also, stage 12 colon cancer? I forgot to filter and just said "that doesn't even exist" oops.

one i heard lately was "i'm calling sick because i have laryngitis" mind you the voice on the other end of the phone sounded like "the exorcist" then she went to the ball-game with her hubby, and forgot that she was sick when the t.v. camera-man asked her opinion on the game results