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Thursday, July 03, 2008

When Will Margate Stop Burning?

My spies on the seedy north side of the island tell me that Margate has gone up in flames yet again. Firefighters were called to the Arcadian on Fart Hill to tackle a blaze this morning. Apparently their progress was impeded somewhat by the seemingly interminable roadworks along there as part of the crazy, pointless, multi-million pound de-dualling scheme.

The Arcadian looked to be in a sorry state anyway - just about ripe for an earner burner if you ask me. I'm told it was originally a photographer's studio in Victorian times. With the loss earlier this year of Ramsgate's Marina Restaurant, also a former Victorian photographic studio, the chances of cashing in on our marvellous, seaside heritage seem slimmer by the day.

Surely someome must becoming to the conclusion that something is wrong in Margate ie insurance Co's, fire authorities, police, TDC etc. The number of fires seem to be increasing and something requires to be investigated.

Prime development site here - shame about a footpath - last time i was up there the owners had shut the footpath, on grounds of fire damage caused by the last fire. All tied up with land adjacent to the Media centre which would add to the plot. Why bother selling a little piece of land formerly the car park for the bank now Media centre. It all stinks - been talked about before on Thanet Strife

There does seem to be a serious lack of planning regarding roadworks in Thanet generally. The Victoria Traffic Lights roadworks seem to be having problems as well, with delays and corners cut. I saw a bunch of them having a big ol' chat outside the Victoria Pub a few days ago. They didnt sound too pleased with how things were going... Its very dangerous and any parents with small children need to be especially wary round them in that area.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Another previously fine building spontaneously combusting, eh? Hopefully, the insurance companies will stop paying out and the police will start investigating all these unlucky fires in prime development sites.

I've heard that the proprietor of the building is up before the magistrate's court soon (this week or next) because he's in breach of a section 215 notice for the removal of a balcony. The owner would prefer to demolish and put up a 9 storey work of genius it seems.

Overheard in Thanet

Is your hot chocolate gluten free?Man at kioskJust wait til I get hold of yer, yer cunt. Yer fuckin' door won't save yer!Man on phone in streetThere were dead bodies everywhere at my fuckin' birfday do. No, seriously, my missus had to give one bloke CPR!Man on phone in streetYer can't smoke in a petrol station can yer? Fuck it, I'm gonna light up anyway. If I blow meself up I'm gonna charge you compensation!Woman to staff member at petrol stationWhat happened to all those Socialist Workers eh? They joined the bloody Labour Party, that's what!Man to woman in WaitroseSo I grabbed the fuckin' potato peeler and stabbed the cunt.Man sitting outside barTwitter? That's the bit between a bird's twat and her shitter, isn't it?Man on trainYou know the medicine they give us was invented by the Germans in WW2 for their troops, so they could be shot?Man on streetYeah, well, he's a fucking bald headed cunt.Man at Margate football matchYou better choose your sweets, inch yer! I'm not a bleedin' psychic, inn I?Woman to small childI like haring but I don't like it when the dog just bites into it an' it fuckin' screams and then you 'ave to go an' chop it.Man in restaurantI'm a registered businessman!Man on phone in streetI luv 'im, even though 'e raped me an' bit me. 'Cos 'e respecks me.Woman talking to man in streetChild to baboon in animal park: 'Ello!Mother: Don't talk, MatthewChild: Why?Mother: 'Cos it's an animal.

If you come on and start having a go at Margate, it immediately puts everyone's shackles up.

Man talking about the warm-up act at the Alexei Sayle gig at the Theatre Royal, Margate'We are not expecting widespread flooding; however precautions have been deployed and we are doing our upmost to ensure all areas are secure and protected.'Thanet Council press release

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The Thanet Daily is a humour/satire/local gossip blog based on the Isle of Thanet in Kent. Opinions expressed on this site may not be suitable for minors, wilting flowers, or duffers. The content, opinions and comments contained in this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of its author(s), fictional or otherwise. The Thanet Daily accepts no responsibility legal or otherwise for their accuracy of content. The Thanet Daily is not responsible for the content of external internet sites. Actually, if truth be told, the whole thing is a crock of shit.