Exposure

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. How much I loved school. How much I miss it. What I’d do differently if I were to do it again.

Would I put more effort into my final year?

Would I plan my career?

Would I listen to my parents’ advice or my own?

Would I… would I… would I…?

I don’t regret anything. I try not to regret anything, with my life’s motto being “Never regret something that once made you smile” – and school certainly made me smile. Without a doubt. It was the happiest time of my life. Sure, it didn’t feel like it at the time.

I’d love to go back, even for just one day. I’d love to have that feeling of knowing my work was good. Getting good grades was my main aim in school and I did.

But now? In the big, grown-up world? Recognition doesn’t come by all too often, which I realized very quickly when I stepped into the world of work.

I’d love to spend lunchtime gossiping, and having fun with my friends. But now? If I sit down for my lunch and don’t think about work then some kind of miracle has occurred. We talk about work at lunch. We think about what we have to do after lunch. Everything is work. Sure, we all want to become sort of recognized experts in our field and we gossip at our desks but it never feels careless and fancy-free. If you say something weird in a professional environment, it reflects badly on you. In school? It’s forgotten within 5 minutes.

I’d love to have the freedom to make mistakes, and have the time to correct them. Now? If I make a mistake it seems like the whole ship will sink within 5 minutes. The mistake reflects badly on everyone else. There isn’t time to sit down and learn something new because everything needs doing now.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my job. I really do. I love having responsibility. I love knowing that I’m there for a specific reason; without me, the marketing department wouldn’t function. And that goes for everyone else who I work with. But sometimes I feel like this is it. This is how it’s going to be. No more innocent gossiping. No more recognition. No more fucking up. Is this what being a grown-up is like? After all, I’m glad I survived the dorms, but still…how to get my ideas financed is a continuing problem.

So, the only good thing now I can buy a Macbook. I’m a big fan of Apple and believe I always will be, however, I do believe their products are extremely overpriced. You could get a decent, stable, Windows laptop for $400, whereas the cheapest MacBook is around $800. I suppose you do pay for quality, though. My Acer laptop broke within a few months, but I’m sure a MacBook would live for a lot longer than that.

There is one problem I have with Apple, though. I don’t like the fact of having to return a product that belongs to them back to their store. For example, I bought my iPod Touch from BestBuy, and when experiencing problems, I was told I had to send the iPod back to Apple. I think this is absolutely ridiculous. If I buy something from your store, I expect YOU to exchange it. It had a warranty on it and I had only had the iPod for a month. Yes… those were the days, weren’t they?

A lot of people will disagree with me, but I love all of Apple’s products’. I guess I’m a sucker for all things shiny a pretty. I’m not superficial, though.