News & Stories from the Holsworthy Mafia

We all love to go on a lovely stroll in an evening, walk down some paths, go to the park, go dogging down the Woods, its the simplest things in life we all fall in love with, peace, nature, trees, broken beer bottles, oh wait, not that one.

It has come to our attention the small penis support group have been at it again, this time, behind the school on the footpath. A crack team of investigators have finally solved the puzzle of how this has happened and how bottles of Budweiser have ended up on the floor.

We list below the events that took place on the night of the beer bottle scandal.

It was one evening during the week, the small penis support group where having a social gathering. The group contained between 1 and 5 members, likely 4. The group where heading to the Square to conduct their open air screaming, laughing and intimidating when suddenly, 1 of the members started to Tear up, another member at that point dropped his food, his name is Jay for short, the third member shouted, Jay, you dropped your Cob, he also dropped his Bounty chocolate bar too, it was this moment, the main event unfolded.

Upon bending down, Jay with his Cob and Bounty chocolate bar saw a penis on an ant, became infuriated with it and went on a rage, smashed his Man Juice (beer) bottles everywhere and proceeded to spend the evening at home crying to his mom. We think a similar event caused him to damage fence posts the other night, possibly because of their height, length and girth, though its unclear exactly what small penis club member that was.

The Member who had started to Tear up also lost it, he then he then saw a Hen and decided to take a Step on a Hen to release his inner anger, the poor hen didn’t understand that the man who had started to Tear up, thought the female hen had a larger appendage than him.

By the end of the night, some crappy beer and a hen had been violated. The group wasn’t able to complete its meeting and they still have difficulty breeding, thankfully, that’s not a bad thing.