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God is in the business of developing His character in us. He is not, I believe, in the business of overhauling the way He has already uniquely imprinted us with His divine image. Sanctification is not His process of cloning us into the Model Christian Woman.

Dwelling in my anger was hurting me, hindering me from seeking good, and making me irritated, indifferent, and angsty in my closest relationships. I am changing, but I’m not still not equipped to talk about moving past anger. The best I can do is talk about what I’m learning as I deal with it.

We have to talk about anger, for two reasons: For one, feeling anger is inevitable. I don’t think we’re going to suddenly stop feeling the angst that comes along with being squeezed into a box that we don’t belong in. We also need to talk about anger because we feel alone in it sometimes, and that can lead us to even more frustration. Healing often comes in realizing that we’re all dealing with the same issues, feeling the same hurt, and working towards the same goal.

When I inevitably proved not to be the kind of woman I was supposed to be over and over again, it wasn’t something wrong with what I was doing; itwas something fundamentally wrong with me as a person. I always felt like the black sheep, I was passed over a lot because there was something about me that wasn’t quite right.It sometimes felt as though calling me a “Christian woman” was as ironic as calling me a name that means “peaceful and quiet.”