Friday, June 16, 2006

My Million Little Pieces

I was all set to tell ya'll about my fab day. About how the kids and I went out to lunch at a place called Jillian's that's part restaurant, part arcade/bowling alley. I had a California salad (grilled chicken, avacado and mandarin oranges on a bed of lettuce. Not great, but okay.)

I was going to tell you that we went swimming after, and I was able to struggle through six laps (two freestyle, one breast, one back and two kicking.)

But I got sidetracked by some wierd/bad/scary news.

My little brother is being admitted into a residential treatment center today for heroin addiction.

My sweet 25-year-old visionary brother. A year ago he was taking photography classes and dreaming about taking a train across the US with nothing but his camera and a backpack. A year ago he bought an 1970s RV for $700, with the plan of fixing it up and driving it to Alaska so he could work on a fishing boat and earn money for his dreams.

How does such a brilliant beam of a person end up in tears, terrified of what's ahead for him?

A year ago he started taking pain killers to self-medicate for depression. That progressed to oxycotin (spelling?) Three months ago he started using heroin.

My heart feels broken in a million little pieces. I'm not sure if it's the result of a Nancy Reagan and her "Just Say No" propaganda, or my mother drilling the anti-drug message into me from...oh, I don't know...birth? But I can't shake the idea that people don't recover from heroin addiction. That it's impossible to really quit.

I'm afraid for my brother. I can't imagine the world without him in it. If anyone knows anything about heroin addiction, and the chances for recovery, I'm really interested. Otherwise...please pray for him.

And do me a favor. Remind your kids today not to ever, ever take drugs. Ever. It's scary shit.

I don't know about heroine addiction but I do know about meth addictions as I have been clean for over 10 years now after rehab. It is hard to swallow and very sad, but he is in the best place he can be right now if he wants to kick the habit and get back to his brilliant life.

Even people who seem to have it all together hide deep pains that cause them to stuff them with drugs, food, booze or whatever and now he can deal with what is inside and live a full life.

Hon, I grew up watching my Dad drink himself into oblivion and having a crappy and sad life until one day, he checked himself in to a facility and has been sober 26 years now and runs tbe California Assoication for Addiction Recovery Resources and is a hapoy and peaceful man.

Remember that today's sorrow is the first step in tomorrow's hapiness.

I'm going to keep your brother in my prayers, Shaunta. Addiction is a terrible thing, but there are thousands, perhaps millions, of people who have survived herion addiction.

Please, please, please, don't let his addiction put you back into the throws of your own addiction! You have come so far. You have to take good care of yourself in order to be a rock for him to lean on.

Sending you lots of {{{HUGS}}}. I have been there my friend. I have two brothers who have battled drug addiction and a brother-in-law who committed suicide after years of drug abuse. (He was 23 years old). I know how scary and heartbreaking it is to see someone you love go through this. He has my prayers.

About Me

Education after 30, work after a baby, raising an autistic son, getting my girl through high school, married to my best friend, writing when I don't have the time, trying to get to a simply sustainable life