A little over a week ago, Barack Obama was giving a speech that almost certainly cost him the election, hopefully. He was talking about small businesses and said something about how all businesses require roads and distribution infrastructure and how everything is completely intertwined and people require help in their business and their day to day life and therefore we need to stop being so selfish and self-important about our businesses and start recognizing that everything is unified and we all got help along the way. GROSS! Obviously, a man like this should be thrown in jail. In any case, Mitt Romney and other conservatives have jumped on this to show, correctly, that Barack Obama is a violent socialist who wasn’t even born in this country. But it took the intrepid, irrepressible newshounds at Fox and Friends to get the Real American Story and really stick it to this usurper president who wants to take all of our money and give it to the hospitals for nothing. They tracked down two young girls who have opened their own lemonade stand and built the whole thing on their own for sure. SORRY, MR. OBAMA, ENJOY YOUR RETIREMENT CAKE.

Seriously, though, when you think about it, it’s impressive that these girls invented lemons, sugar, water, lemonade, lemonade stands, childhood, siblings, cuteness, and summer. America’s future is bright indeed! And, of course, congratulations to Brian Kilmeade who, as this clip demonstrates, is a real adult, a total professional, a great journalist, and America’s hero. (Via GotchaMedia.)