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Re: Request a Full Translation Check For Nurarihyon no Mago

Erm, I hope this is the right place to post this. This is my first time posting a translation and I need a lot of criticism and help with this.
The sentences I didn't understand are marked in red.
Sentences that didn't sound right are marked in blue.

Enchō- From now on in Tokyo,
これから東京中に
The One Hundred Tales Yokai created by us...will be completely released.
あたしらの作った…百物語の妖怪を全部放ちます

ｐｇ９

Enchō-Please find and reveal the important seven people hiding within the One Hundred Tales no later than daybreak!
君たちは百物語の中に隠れている重要な七人を夜明けまでに見つけ出して下さい
And if all of those seven people are crushed, then it's the Nura Family's Victory.
そしてその七人全員つぶせば奴良組の勝ちです

ｐｇ１０

Rikuo- Wha...what are you saying?
な…何を言うてるんだ…？

Yanagida- Teacher, you'll have to explain it more gently to them...they just can't seem comphrend it, isn't that right?
師匠、もっと優しく説明してあげないと…理解できなさそうですよ

Yanagida- Simply put, I wonder will you guys be finished for sure this time...
クス…単純に言うと今度こそお前らは終わりってこと哉…

Tsurara- ....What is he...
…何よあいつは…

Enchō- It's just a simple game of tag.
単純な追いかけっこですよ

Rikuo- Oi...!
おい…！！

ｐｇ１１

Enchō- I feel that "Keidoro" and "Janken" mixed well.
〝ケイドロ〟と〝ジャンケン〟がまざった感じかな

Enchou- We hunted down these people...now the humans will hunt after you, and you will chase after us.
あたしらが人々を襲い…人間が君を襲いますそして君はあたしら追うのです

Illustration at the top boxes- "One Hundred Tales" "Escape and Produce"
百物語組 逃走&産み出す

Enchō-There are no particular rules, it doesn't matter what you are doing.
ルールは〝特になし〟何をやっても構いませんだ
If I should say anything, "the stage" is Tokyo...and the remaining time is 14 hours.
強いて言うなら〝舞台〟は東京…〝残り〟は１４時間です

Enchō-Now then, I'll wager that the fear is going to be high, do your best!
さぁお高いの畏れを賭けてけて頑張りましょう！

ｐｇ１２

Rikuo- Are you screwing around, bastards?
ふざけてんのかてめぇ
What game?
何がゲームだ

People- He is... get that person!!
あいつ…人を襲ってるぞ！！

Rikuo-！！

Enchō- As I thought...I was right afterall.
やっぱり…やっぱりそうなんだ…

Rikuo- ..................

Enchō- I think I understand...In order to save themselves、they're going to seriously come and kill you.
わかっていると思いますが…人間は自らが助かるため君を殺そうと本気で来ますよ
クス…

ｐｇ１３
Enchō- In other words...if you win, we will lose but...
つまり…君が勝てばあたしらは滅びるが…

Enchō-At that time, you and your Nura Clan, will be burned to a crisp by human hatred.
あたしらが勝つってことは...その時君と君の奴良組は人間の憎悪で焼き尽くされるってことだよ

Re: Request a Full Translation Check For Nurarihyon no Mago

Enchō- I feel that "Keidoro" and "Janken" mixed well.
〝ケイドロ〟と〝ジャンケン〟がまざった感じかな

P12Enchō- I think I understand...In order to save themselves、they're going to seriously come and kill you.
わかっていると思いますが…人間は自らが助かるため君を殺そうと本気で来ますよ

ｐｇ１３Enchō-At that time, you and your Nura Clan, will be burned to a crisp by human hatred.
あたしらが勝つってことは...その時君と君の奴良組は人間の憎悪で焼き尽くされるってことだよ

Hope you got your translation checked and proofed by now. I didn't go over your translation, but here are couple of suggestions.

～感じかな： It's like ～ （not "I feel that ～ "）/ケイドロ needs a footnote, or simply translate it as "tag (game)"/わかっていると思いますが: As you know (It is not "I think I understand") Also translate "人間": humans / I didn't see the translated txt for あたしらが勝つってことは/

Re: Request a Full Translation Check

Hello. Can someone please help me check my translation? It is the first chapter of Tetsugaku Letra. The chapter is pretty long (around 60 pages). I'm still learning Japanese so any criticism will be great.

The sentences I am unsure of are in red and my comments are in blue. For thoughts I've put "name of person thought".

町はまだまだ眠っている。
Kimitaka thought- The town is still sleeping/asleep.
白くて綺麗。
- It's white and beautiful.
５０ｍ離れても 見境なく 万歳を繰り返す すこし呆けた祖父も、 こころがしろくて綺麗。。。
- Even when we are separated 50m, the heart of the slightly forgetful grandpa, indisciminately repeating "Banzai" is white and beautiful too... (alternate: Even when we are separated 50 metres, the 'banzai''s repeat indiscriminately. The heart of the forgetful grandpa is white and beautiful too...)

母さんにスリッパで殴られなきゃいいけど。。。
- Though it'll be good if mum doesn't hit him with a slipper.

Page 15

とにかく。。。
Kimitaka thought- Anyway...

２番線に電車がまいります。。。
Train person - The train will be arriving on platform 2...

Page 16

わあ 鉄宇くん、小学生の頃ミニバス入ってたんだ。
Kid - Wow, Kimitaka-kun, you went into the minibus when you were in elementary.
俺たち、 中学からバスケ始めたんけど、
- We started basketball in middle school but
ルールとか教えくれない？
- Can you teach us the rules?

うん いいよ。
Kimitaka - Okay.

中学１年の頃。。。
Kimitaka thought - In my first year of middle school...

Page 17

初心者の多いバスケ部で、 経験者の自分は皆の真ん中にいられた。。
Kimitaka thought- Because the basketball club had a lot of beginners, as an experienced person, I was the centre of everyone.

勘違いした。。。
- I misunderstood.../I was under that illusion...

自分は誰より出来る人間なのだと。。。
- I thought I was someone that could do more than everyone.../more able than anyone...

中２になる頃には居場所がなかった。
- In second year, I no longer had a place I belonged.

実力も体育も誰より劣っていた。。。
- I was inferior to everyone in ability and physique...

でも。。。
- But...

驕ったままの僕の目は何も見えない。
- My proud eyes couldn't see anything.

Page 18

皆の粗を探しては、 学校の裏サイトへ書き込み続けた。
Kimitaka thought - I continued to post everyone's flaws I found
- on a site behind the school's back.
自分がどんどん黒くなっていくのが分かった。。。
- I knew that I was steadily/rapidly becoming blacker and blacker...

じゃあ 明日、 二人で試合をしませんか？
Teacher 2- Then,
- Why don't the two of them have a match tomorrow?

Page 19

正直こういうの子供じみててすきじゃないけど、 鉄宇くんが納得できるなら。。。
Tsujimura - To tell you the truth, I don't like this childish arrangement but
- if Kimitaka-kun can/will understand/agree this way than... (if this is the only way Kimitaka can understand/get why Tsujimura was chosen)

いいのか辻村？
Teacher - You're fine with this Tsujimura?

はい。
Tsujimura - Yes.

鉄宇もそれでいいな？
Teacher - You're fine with this too Kimitaka?

はい。。。
Kimitaka - Yes...

鉄宇、明日は大事な一戦と聞いたぞ。
Grandpa - Kimitaka
- I heard that you have an important battle tomorrow.

後ろから浮き飛ばされて脳震盪だって。。。
Kid - He was thrust down from behind and now he has a cerebral concussion...

うわ。。。 鉄宇 最悪。
Kid - Uwah... Kimitaka's the worst.

Page 25

Context: They are in the hospital. The kid that got hurt is on a hospital bed surrounded by his friends who are talking about Kimitaka.

時々いるんだよね。
Kid - Sometimes he's here.

自分は上手い。
- He thinks that he is good.

けれど評価されないのは、
- But he doesn't acknowlege that
獣医の人間が馬鹿だからって 本気で思っている奴。。。
- He really is a person who thinks people around him are idiots...

学校の裏サイトに俺たちの悪口書き込んでいるのあいつだろ？
Kid 2 - The person who posted bad stuff on the site about us behind the school's back was him, right?

自分は出来もしないくせに、 逆に寒いよ。
- Even though he can't even do anything himself,
- and he's cold.(I'm not sure how to phrase this.)

Page 26

しかしホント鉄宇って免毒背えよな。
Kid - But really, Kimitaka is annoying.
あいつの感情の自己統制力、 小学生並だろ。
- His ability to control his emotions is at the same level as an elementary student.
下らない嫉妬の度に ケガ負わされんの俺嫌だよ。
- When he's jealous for some stupid/worthless/trivial reason, he'll injure people. I don't want that to happen to me.
俺も。

鉄宇とは二度と関わりたくないね、早く死んで来いよ。
Tsujimura - I don't want to have anything to do with Kimitaka ever again.
- Hurry up and die.

Page 30

もしもし君、 終点だよ。
Train guy - Hello,
- It's the last stop.
もしもし。
- Hello.

え。。。
Kimitaka - Eh...

降りてください。
Train guy - Please get off.

あ。。。 す。。。すみません。
Kimitaka - Ah...
- Sorry.

新しい学校は自宅から電車で約２時間。。。
Kimitaka thought- It takes around 2 hours by train to get to my new school from home.

Page 31

中２の残りは登校拒否。
Kimitaka thought - I didn't attend what was left of my middle school second year.
中３はなんとか保健室登校し、 春休みまで使って 出席日数を補った。。。
- Third year middle school, was more or less spent in the infirmary.
I used it until spring holidays and had to compensate the number of days for attendance...
唯一、試験日に間に合ったのがこの学校。。。
- The only examination I did well enough for was this school...
でもどうだっていい。。。
- But anything (any school) was fine (for/with me)...

え。。。
Principal - Eh----いつか君達が我が校と共に歩んだ この学校生活を振り返った時。。。
- Someday, when you look back on your high school life you have walked with this school...
その思い出が今後の人生の支えとなってくれるよう心から願っている。
- I wish from my heart that those memories will be a support for you in your life from now on.(I'm not sure if I got this correct.)

Page 32

ご。。。ごめん お腹鳴っちゃった。
Boy beside him - Sorry, my tummy rumbled.

どんな場所にいたって、
Kimitaka thought- No matter what place it is,
もう人と関わろうとは思わない。
- I don't want to have anything to do with people ever again.

人をうらやむ事も
- Without envying people...
自分に失望する事もない。。。
- Without being disappointed with myself...
毎日をただ何もせず過ごしてさえいれば、
- If I can just pass everyday without doing anything,

孫の忘れ物を届けに行きたいけどタクシーが来ないの。
Lady - I want to bring something my grandchild forgot to them but a taxi won't come.
良かったら案内して頂けると助かるのだけど。。。
- If its alright with you, it'll be a big help if you could (I can get you to) show me to the school.

今日はね、 なんでもバスケットの練習試合があるらしくて、こちらの高校に。。。
Lady - Today,
- I was told that they are having basketball practice match here, so she came to this high school...

Page 37

まさか孫がこんなスポーツするなんて、 今でも信じられないの。。。
Lady - I never thought that my grandchild would play that kind of sport,
- Even now I can't believe it...

身内がこんな事を言うのも酷い話なのだけれど。。。
- It may seem terrible to say this about my own family but
うちの孫、昔からで内向的で臆病で。。。
- My grandchild, since a long time ago has been an introvert, timid...

背がひょろっと高く。。。
- She's tall lanky/thin...

手足はペタっと大きくて。。。
- Her hands and feet are big...(I'm not sure what hyorotto and petatto mean.)

カッパだなんてあだ名を付けられて、 いつもいじめられて独りぼっちだった。
- Her nickname was kanpa,
- and she was always bullied and alone.

Page 38

背を隠すためどんどん猫背になっちゃうし、
Lady - In order to hide her height, she stooped.(developed a hunchback)
大きいな手を隠すためいつもポケットに入れていた。
- In order to hide her big hands she always put them in her pocket.

どうにか元気付けようと思ってね、
- Anyhow, I thought I should cheer her up.(I decided to cheer her up)
気分転換に、丁度ご近所に出来たスペイン舞踊のお教室に連れていってめたの。。。
- For a change of pace I took her to a Spain dance class that just opened in the neighbourhood

Page 39

大きいなお花た色とりどりの衣装が孫の心に響いたみたい。。。
Lady - The big flowers and the multicoloured costume made an impression on my grandchild's heart...

いつか一曲でも踊れるようになったら発表会に出ようって、小さな目標が出来た。。。
- She said that someday, if she can finally dance, even just once, she would come out to perform,
- And would have fulfilled her small goal...

けれど向き不向きってあるのね。
- But everyone has something that they are good at.

何年頑張っても上手にならず、
- No matter how many years she tried, she didn't get any better.

また違うお教室で頑張りましょうって言ってみたけど泣いてばっかり。。。
- I tried to tell her that she could try again at another/different class but all she did was cry...

Page 40

ところがね。。。
Lady - However...
ある日突然ニコニコしながら帰って来たの。
- One day, all of a sudden she came back home smiling
そしてひと言
- And said (a few words),
私バスケット始めてみる。
- "I've (going to try) started playing basketball"転校先でバスケを始めたのはいいけれど。。。
- Starting basketball after transferring was good but... (is it after or before?)
毎日とても苦労していたわ。。。
- She suffered extreme hardships everday...

Page 41

折角のばしていた髪も切って、 本当に一生懸命だった。
Lady - She cut her hair that she had grown for a long time
- and really tried her best.

ただ臆病なところは今も変わらなくて、 そのお守りがないとシュートも打てないらしいのと。。。
- It's just, even now she is still timid (Even now her timid personality hasn't changed)
- If she doesn't have this charm it seems she can't shoot...

Page 42

傷だらけで辛そうに帰ってくる孫によく尋ねだわ、どうして辞めないのって。。。
Lady - You come back in pain and full of injuries, I want to ask
- Why don't you quit...?

私の大きな手、カスタネットは上手く持てないけど、ボールなら上手に持てるの。
Grandkid - My big hands,
- Can't play castnets well but
- If it's the ball I can handle it really well.

大きな足もね、速くは動かないけど、少しくらい突き飛ばされても耐えられるのよ。
- My big feet too. I can't move quickly but
- Even if I'm thrust away a little, I can withstand/resist it.

ちょっとだけだけど 私、部の皆に頼られてるの。 こんなの初めて。。。
- It's only a little but I can depend on my club members.
- This is the first time...

あの人の言った通り。。。
- It's like that person said...

夢見てたのは大きな花やキレイな服だったけど、
- My dream was big flowers and pretty clothes but
私。。。 今の自分が好き。。。
- I...
- I like the person I am now...

Page 43

あの日。。。あの人に会えて良かった。。。
Grandkid - That day...
- I'm so glad I met that person...

きっと孫は素敵な人に出会えたのだったなって感謝したわ。。。
Lady - My grandchild definitely must have met a wonderful person. I am really grateful...
(I am grateful my grandchild was able to encounter someone who was definitely a wonderful person...)

Page 44

人の人生を変えてしまうくらいの人間て、どんな奴だろう。。。
Kimitaka - A person who is able to change the life of a person (A human who is able to change even a person's life)
- I wonder what kind of person he is...(I'm not sure how to phrase this.)

早く死んで来いよ
Flashback - Hurry up and die.

みじめになるから考えるのはやめよう。
Kimitaka thought - I'll just get miserable so I'll stop thinking about it.
このおばあさんをさっさと送って、
- I'll hurry and send this lady off
僕は早く家に帰ろう。。。
- and hurry up and go home...

Page 45

あそこです。
Kimitaka - It's over there.
体育館は左側に、生徒が群がっているから行けば分かると思います。
- The gym is on the left.
- The students are all gathered there so I think you'll be able to tell.

Context: Flashback when Kimitaka meets Takara when both of them try to throw their shoes off the hospital roof.

大きな手。。。
Kimitaka - Big hands...

あ。。。
Takara - Ah...

Page 49

わ。。。悪く言うつもりは。。。 あの。。。
Kimitaka - I- I didn't mean to insult you.
- Um...
ボールが上手く持てそうでいいなあって。。。
- I was just thinking you'll be able to handle a ball well. (I was thinking, how lucky, it looks like you can carry a ball well.)

あ、やっぱり！
Kimitaka - Ah, as I thought!
きょねん、同じクラスだったの覚えてない。。。よね？
- I was in the same class as you last year. You don't remember... do you?
背が高くて羨ましかったから僕は覚えているんだけど。。。
- You're tall so I envied you. that's why I remember you...

１年生の時音楽の授業で上手にカスタネット打ってたでしょ。。。
Takara - In first year, during music class, you could play the castnets really well...
ほら。。。隣の友人の分も両手で器用に持って。。。
- Remember, you were even doing your friend's share, skillfully using both hands...

本当は。。。
Takara - The truth is...
ずっとはき続けたかった。。。 一生懸命頑張ったけど。。。
- I wanted to wear them all the time but... (I wanted to always continue wearing them but...)
- I tried my hardest but... (Even though I tried my hardest...)
私には無理だった。。。
- It's impossible for me... (It was impossible for me...)

なりたいものになれる人が。。。 羨ましい。。。
- I really envy the people... who can become what they want to be...

Page 53

。。。ぼくもだ。。。
Kimitaka - ...I'm the same...

Page 54

凄い凄い。 また入ったよ。
Kimitaka - Amazing, amazing.
- It went in again

打ち方はめちゃけちゃだけどセンスあるよ。
- The way you hit/swing? is a mess but you have the senses.
背も高いしきっと練習したら皆から頼られるよ。
- You're also tall. With (some) practice, everyone will definitely be depending on you.

私が？
Takara - On me?
でもバスケなんて一度もやった事ない。。。
- But I haven't played basketball even once before...

Page 55

高いだけの背も大きいだけの手足も、私は嫌い。
Takara - My height (that is only good for being tall) and my hands and feet that are only big, (alternate: My height and my big hands and feet,)
- I hate them.

僕なんか小さいだけで、とにかく動き回るくらいしか能がないのに。
Kimitaka - I'm only small and the only thing I can do is move around. (the only thing I am competent at is moving around)
僕ら体が逆だったら良かったね。
- It would have been better our bodies were the opposite/reverse.

Page 56

あの赤い靴捨てちゃうなら僕にくれない？
Kimitaka - If you're going to throw those shoes away, can you give them to me?
僕、小学生の妹がいるんだ。
- My little sister is in elementary school. (I have a sister in elementary.)
あげたら喜ぶと思うから。。。
- I think she'll be happy if I give them to her...

Re: Request a Full Translation Check

Originally Posted by KazeYuki

- 赤地にカミナリさんの印が入った靴...
- Those red shoes with a thunder mark...(The shoes have a lightning mark but doesn't kaminari mean thunder?)

カミナリさん/さま (kaminari-san/sama) would cover a thunder, lightning, and an oger-like creature with 1 or 2 horns wearing a pair of pants made of tiger skin. If you see a lighting mark, just use "lightning" in your translation.

内心这种欢欣雀跃的感觉
This feeling of excitement
或许我还是第一次经历
was like nothing before.

但我万万没想到
But I never imagined

这一天会成为我高学校生涯的
That this day
最后一天
would be my last day of highschool

pg. 7
昨天好像又出现了呢
Yesterday, it looked like
白发少女
the white girl
据说是在摩天轮上和幽灵打斗
was on a ferris wheel and fighting against the ghost.

听说她还穿着我们学校的制服呢
I heard she was wearing our school uniform.
啊，油轮掉下来那时拍到的吧
ahh, she fell off the tanker in the photograph.
制服是水手服的高校不多见的说
This sailor uniform is rare among high schools.
什么真的假的？
What? No way!

假如她是这所学校的学生的话
Even if she is one of the students in this school
一旦身份暴露果然会不妙吧
disclosing her identity would be really bad

那当然得退学啦
Of course! She'll have to drop out!
不管怎么说她不是人类
But it is not like she's human anyway.
唉，我倒想要她的签名呢
Right, but I still want her signature.
要是被抓到的话估计会上电视吧
If we find her, we'll probably be on TV!

pg. 8
我是不是也该戴戴面具了呢
Will I need to wear a mask?
便利假面塑料袋超人!!
convinient plastic bag hero mask!!要是被退学的话就不能和东一起吃午餐了
I probably won't be able to eat at the cafeteria with Azuma if I drop out
再说学费也是爸爸辛苦赚来了
Dad works hard enough to pay my tuition.

Pg 9.
[fire system]:消火栓
fire hydrant

爆炸？
An explosion?
究竟是啥事？
What happened?

那人是谁？
Who's that?
好像拿着武器
They've got a weapon!
快逃啊
Run!

Pg 10.
哼，不管哪里的学校氛围都不尽相同
hrm, regardless of the school's location, they all feel different

真是没劲
So dull,

早就想把学校大肆破坏一番看看了
I've long wanted to watch a school get absolutely destroyed.
你是何人
Anyone who's anyone,
马上去避难
take cover.

嘛，虽说我去年才刚刚辍学
Granted, I just dropped out of school last year

Pg 11
主任
Principal!
发生什么事了？
What just happened?
偏偏在这个时候
Meanwhile...

Pg 12
不好了！
This is bad!
有个女的拿着抢从一接上来了
A woman carrying a gun is coming up here
大家快逃啊
Everyone, escape quickly!

什难道是恐怖份子
Really? A terrorist? Here?
快跑
Run!
跑去哪
Run where?

为何出现在校内
But here in the school
要是在这里使用ＥＳＰ的话
if I use my ESP
所有人就都知道了
then everyone will know

敌人
enemy?
东
Azuma
小企呢？
peggi?

Pg 13
嘻嘻
teehee
就像在摧毁蚁穴一样太有趣了
Just like destroying an ants nest.
不尽全力逃的话
If you don't escape
只有死路一条噢
it's the end of the road for you!

别谁我往后退
I'll send everyone backwards

百步神拳
100-pace spirit punch!

Pg. 14
[freebie]

Pg. 15
住手你这家伙！
Cut that out!我闪
Dodge.

终于出现了白发少女
Finally, “the white girl” appeared.
竟然有本事穿过我的冲击波
And was even able to pass through the shock wave.

糟糕不知不觉就
Crap! I don't know what I'm doing.

凛花？
Rinka?!

不已经
Trying to hide...
由不得我犹豫了
I couldn't help but hesitate.

嘻嘻我知道噢
teehee. Oh, I know.
这便是所的生物穿透吧
You can pass through things.

Pg. 16
决一胜负吧
Let's fight!
哇
woah

本姑娘名叫林铃倩
This here girl's name is Lin Lingqian江湖上人称“鬼祸女之林”
People who live by the water call me “The Evil Ghost of the Woods”

好险
That was close...
夺目手？
Her hands are impressive.

这个人武功相当了得!
This person, their fighting is terrifying!

Pg. 17
话说...你是教授的同伴？
Say, are you with the professor?
来学校有何目的
What are you doing at this school?

真是愚蠢的问题
That's a stupid question.
肯定是因为你在这里对吧？
We should be asking why you are at this school.

“白发少女”小姐
“white girl” chan

Pg. 18
咿咿咿凛花！
Eeeh!? Rinka!
不是吧？
Are you not her?
你就是“白发少女”
You are “the white girl”

你不是小节的妹妹吗？
And not just her sister?
为什么会加人恐怖组织？
Why would you join the terrorists?

没啥为什么
No reason
纯粹只是觉得有乐子所以暂时帮帮他们罢了
I'm just helping for fun and nothing else

呵呵
hehe
顺便告诉你你的这个惨状
By the way, I should tell you
现正在全国现场直播
your tragic story is being broadcast live

Pg. 24这就是你不知天高地厚逞英雄的报应
This is the nemisis of your so-called heroes
像你们这种超能力者
As they also have ESP

你们看太牛逼了
Look at them ganging up on her

和组织拨刀相向的人
And oppose the terrorists

别打了
Stop fighting

这女生
This girl
是在我们店打工的！
She works in our shop!

派警车过去了没
Send a police car immediately!

那家伙
That guy...

或是正义感燃烧的怪人
The public should start a witch hunt
为防止此类人今后不再出现
In order to prevent such people from appearing.
咿咿咿...
eeeeeh?

Pg. 25
必须向世界示以儆戒
Let this be a warning to the rest of the world.

不妙啊这个
khh, This is bad...
白发少女她
“the white girl”
要被杀掉了
is going to get killed

漆叶么！我太大意了
ack! I wasn't prepared for this...
学校遭到袭击了
The school they attacked.
马上赶过去！
Immediately over there I hurry!this is THE Yoda talking

呵呵连对手是同班同学
eheh, Even against your unfriendly classmates
也无法作出反击么？
You still won't fight back?

Pg. 26
可恶
kugh
难道就没有办法了吗？
Is there no way out of this?
小企哪去了
Where did peggi get off to?

美奈实
Mina

小企
peggi!

Pg. 27
把凛花和东
Rinka and Azuma,
一起杀掉？
Kill them both?

没错
yes
有问题么？
Is that a problem?

你从一开始更有儆戒示众之意
You from the beginning were the better one to show the public
所以才放任她们自由行动么
So that they may decide for themselves.

是有如何？
How's that?
事到如今你还犹豫不成
As far as you've come, you hesitate to finish?

Pg. 28一切都是源于恐惧
Everything stems from fear
为了建立管理人类的社会
In order to restructure human society
为了改变杀害她的这个
In order to prevent the thing that killed her
丑陋的世界
This ugly world
你不是早已不定决心
Have you not already made up your mind?
要舍弃人类么美奈实
abandon your humanity, Mina

Pg. 29
我的决心并没有改变
My determination has not changed

但是那一天
But that day

救京太朗应该不是为了要在今时今日杀死他才对
I didn't save Azuma to kill him for his fish today.

别玩了
quit playing around
警察马上就到了
the police should be here shortly

美奈实
Mina

不妙。再这样被继续揍下去的话
not good. If I continue to get beat up like this
我真的会死的
I could really die.

Pg. 30
快点结束任务
Hurry up and finish the task
这个男的我来送他上路
We'll take this man with us

唉
eh?
等一下
Wait a minute...

Pg. 31
等一下
Wait a minute...
你要带东去哪
Where are you taking him

嘎啊
Guh!
不要带走他
Don't take him away

Pg. 32
为什么
Why
会发生这种
would this sort of thing happen

正因为这样
Because of this
才想和你
before we could enjoy it.
好不容易
When you finally
说好一起去约会的
agreed to a date?

Pg. 36
漆叶凛花已经死了
Rinka is already dead
你再也没有
You can no longer
可以回去的地方了
return to where you were

Pg. 37
你骗人
Liar.

那种事
That sort of thing...

Pg. 38
快快快
hurry, hurry, hurry
她的心骤停了
Her heart's stopped

凛花她
Rinka, she
就是白发少女么
was “the white girl” all along

她是我女儿！放开我！
She's my daughter!! Let me through!!
麻烦你冷静点
Calm down sir

ＡＥＤ呢？
How about a Defibrillator?从刚才就一直在试
We just tried that

Pg. 39
据悉伤员已经升至４０名以上
Reports state that the number of wounded has risen above 40
死亡人数尚未公布
A death toll has yet to be announced竟然把杀人现场通过网络进行传播
video of the crime has spread throughout the network
如今事态已经发展到连外出都觉得害怕了
The current situation is such that people are afraid to go outside

目前市内所有学校已经全都停课
All of the city's schools have closed

被袭击的是一名高校一年级女生
The video showed a highschool freshman being attacked
据此前曾目睹“白发少女”的群众的证言来看
According to eye-witness testimony, she is “the white girl”

她就是白发少女？
She's “the white girl”?
长得挺可爱的嘛
Quite cute, no?

果真死了？
she's dead?

Pg. 40
[sign] 东京警察病院
Tokyo Metropolitan Hospital

啊咧
这是哪？
Where am I?

Pg. 41
凛花姐
Rinka-san
噢噢泈于恢复意识了！
O, you've regained consciousness!

还不可以起身
Still can't get up
这里是医院
You're in the hospital
医院？
Hospital?
敌人呢？
Enemy?

东被
They took Azuma

全国都在报导你的事
The country is interested in your story
现在待在这里是最安全的
It'd be safest for you to stay here

Re: Request a Full Translation Check

If someone could check my translation, I'd appreciated it! This is my first time translating and there were gaps and holes that I just couldn't put together. I posted both the raw and my translated page so please feel free to check those out. I have noted a few sentences that got to me.

*I assume that the first and second phrase is suppose to be one?
(ベロニカの城のようにまたなくしたくない)

I initially translated it as "I do not want to lose Veronica's Castle", but the way the author/company split the sentences made it confusing for me. Therefore, I went with two separate sentences.

For the part "Also, as for...", I'm honestly not sure if that's how you would translate the "youni mata" (ようにまた).

~~~~~

中身がどうだろうとBut inside of me...

俺が皆見晴澄として生きるために
I wonder if I can still continue to live as "Minami Harusumi".

*I honestly wasn't sure how to word these sentences. As for 中身がどうだろうと, it initially want some thing among the lines of "I don't know inside" or "the contents inside me". But I think he's referring to his inner feeling as a person how he's not sure. "But" wasn't in the original sentence, but it created a better flower from what he was talking about earlier.

For 俺が皆見晴澄として生きるために, the initial translation was more along the lines of "(me) as Minami Harusumi, I wonder if I can still live"...I believe it was something like that. I'm not sure. orz||| But if I connect the first and second phrase, it'd be some where among the lines of him asking himself if he can still live as the person "Minami Harusumi", I believe.

~~~~~

不安の芽は潰す
I will crush this anxiety.

*Initially, the sentence was translated as "crush the anxiety sprouting", but I believe he was referring to himself about crushing the anxiety he has.

Thank you very much for you time for proof reading and checking my translation! Any feedback is welcomed and I'm opened arms for any tips! <3

Re: Request a Full Translation Check

Hi, newbie here. I've done a little amateur translation before but not much, and studied Japanese off-and-on for years but am not at all fluent, so I'd really appreciate if someone could check this over for me.

It's an 8-page story from a Japanese Psychic Force ('90s fighting game) comic anthology, which I'm doing as a Christmas present for some fellow PF fans. There's one SFX that kind of stumped me, but mostly I just want to be responsible and get it checked. My translation does reflect some artistic license for flow and sense in English (I think if you got too literal with this one it would come off as even more weirdly culture-blind than it already does --- Emilio's from Russia, apparently they don't have Christmas there ).

--------------------
Translation by Fox in the Stars (foxinthestars.dreamwidth.org)
Please do not use or re-post until 1 January 2013.
After that time, you may use or re-post this translation in any way you like, just give me credit for my work. Thanks!

Thanks so much!

EDIT: Oh, forgot to ask, if you look this over, please let me know whether and how I should credit you. Thanks!

Re: Request a Full Translation Check

Translation:
If Akihiko says it was magic, then it must be true! However, even though Misaki talked himself into believing this, he could not stop his vision from traveling to the lips that had just planted a gentle kiss on his fingers.

Re: Request a Full Translation Check

Hello. I'm new here and would like to request a Full Translation Check For Kunisaki Izumo no Jijou. I've been learning Japanese for almost 2 and half years and this is my first time translating directly from Japanese and I need a lot of criticism and help. This manga already has 151 chapters, but unfortunately only 44 chapters have been translated, so i'd like to try translating. Probably i'll be asking for help for many chapters until i feel confident in the translation. And also i'd like to apologize for any grammatical and spelling error because English it's not my first language, i'm Brazilian.

Summary: Izumo 15 year old is a guy and is usually mistaken for a girl. He is the 17th generation of the Kunizaki troupe, a famous Kabuki troupe. When he was 7 years old he retired because he only got girls roles, ever since he has been living with his mom. But what happens when Izumo's mom leaves for a trip around the world leaving him with his 16th generation successor of the Kunizaki troupe dad? Will he re-discover the joy of being on stage again? Throw in an over obsessive father, some wacky co-stars, and a maid outfit and you got yourself a laugh-out-loud hilarious manga that you'll instantly enjoy!

Little info: Onnagata is the actors that play the female parts in the Kabuki world

The red sentences are the ones were i couldn't quite get the meaningand the blues ones are those were it sound weird.and green will be any comment

Yuzuha:
おはよー.
morning. いっくんも車で来たらいいのに
would be better if Ikkun came by car too.

Izumo: 男が送り迎えなんてハズカしいマネできっかよ!
it's embarrassing for a guy to have a escort!
ひゃっ
hyaa.

Sae:
だーれだ.
guess who.

Izumo:
だから学校では近づくなっつーの!
i told you not to get near me at school!

Umeki:人目につかねー屋上とかならOKなくせに.
we can't get near in public, but it's OK on the roof.

Matsuki:
ワガママなメイドだ
what a selfish maid.

Izumo:
ったく
geez.

New Character:
國崎出雲さん!
Kunisaki Izumo-san!

Izumo:
ん?
hm?

Yuzuha:
...誰?
...who?

Izumo: さっきぶつかったやつ...?
the girl that i bump into earlier...?

New Character:
好きです！
i like you!
つき合ってください！！
please go out with me!!

Yuzuha: いっくん、あのコどーすんの?
Ikkun, what're going do to with that kid? 名前も知らないコなんでしょ?
you don't even know the name, right?

Izumo:
...そーだけど...
that's right, but...
まだいるよ...
she's still there...

Yuzuha:女のコ待たせちゃダメよ?帰る時ちゃんと返事してあげなさいよね.
you can't leave a girl waiting? when going home, you must give a proper answer.

Izumo:
う~~ん.
yes.
おい,
oi, ずっとそこにいたら暑いだろ.
it must be hot, waiting there all this time.
茶ぐらいおごるぜ
at least i'll treat you some tea

New Character:
やったー
yay
ありがとう出雲さん
thanks Izumo-san

Izumo:べ...べたべたすんじゃねー
do...don't be so clinging

New Character:
はーい
yeees

Sae:
國崎くんって...
Kunisaki-kun... you were like that...?
ソッチだったの...?

Imagination: 女のコ同士だけど、
both girls but,
ラブラブだよー
we're lovey-dovey

Izumo:
どーしよー
what should i do... そーいや女から告られるなんて
oh yeah, been confessed by a girl...
生まれて初めてだぜ
it's the first time in my life...

Umeki:おい紗英、こんなストーカーみてーな事、止めたほうがいいんじゃねーか
hey Sae, isn't better if we stopped this stalker like thing?

Sae:
バカ言うな梅樹! don't say stupid things Umeki! (don't be stupid Umeki!)The first is the real meaning, but the second sounds better
ぼく達には國崎くんの貞操を守る義務がある!
we have the responsibility to protect kunisaki-kun's chastity!

Umeki:
ねーよ別に
we don't.

Kuroe:
出雲が恋愛なんてしちゃったら、 ぼく達と遊んでくれなくなっちゃうよ!
if Izumo fall in love, he won't play with us anymore!

Rui:それでも17代目をダマせるくらい女装には自信あります
even so, i trick the 17th leader, so i have confidence in cross-dressing
なんで女形弟子してください
so please accept me as a onnagata apprentice!

Yakumo: ーと、急に言われてもねエ...
even if you say so...
ただでさえ半住み込みの弟子が多いのに...
we already have many living in apprentices...
てか、なんでうちに?
or rather, why us?

Rui:
今年、 学校の演劇鑑賞会で出雲さんの舞台観たんです
this year, during a school trip to the theater, i watched Izumo-san' performance.
男なのに女の格好して
even though a guy, playing a female role...
なのすごい奇麗で感動しちゃって...
even so i was deeply moved...

Izumo:
オレの舞台...
my performance...そんな風に観てくれてやつがいたのか...
so there were people who saw in that way...

Rui:それと、うちビンボーなんで、卒業したら働かなきゃなんだけど,不景気 で就職口なくて...
also, my family is poor. after graduation i'll have to find a job, but to find work in this recession... だったオレも歌舞伎やろーかなって
so i thought i'd try kabuki.ホラ、役者って金持ちなイメージあるじゃないですか
like, don't actors have the image of having money?

Yakumo: それはごく一部なの!
only a few have! 國崎屋って、 これ以上出費が増えたら火の車なんだから
in our case, if the expenses grow a little more, we'll be in somewhat difficult financial situation.
育ちざかりのい弟子がまた1人
if we bring only one more apprentice...
稽古着とか新調したらウン万が、わー
we'll have to buy brand new clothes, we'll be out a lot of money, wahhh....

Other Kunisaki: おじさん!!それから歌舞伎やろーってコの前で止めてください、 その態度!!
uncle!! please stop behaving like that in front of the kid that wants to try Kabuki!!

Kagato:でも3人で女形の稽古したら楽しそうだね
but, the practice will be more fun with 3 onnagata

Izumo:
おい!
hey! オレは弟子なんてとる気はねーからな!!
i never said i'd take an apprentice!!

Kagato:でもこのコ、役者の素質あるんじゃない?
but, doesn't this kid has the quality of an actor?
今の声のハリ
that voice... 歌舞伎役者は1声2眼3顔って言われるくらい声は重要なんだ
what a kabuki actor needs is 1- voice, 2-eyes, 3-face. It's said that the voice is the most important.

Rui:師匠だってオレが女ってダマされてたじゃないですか
and master also thought that i was a girl, right?

Izumo:
だーうるせー!!
wha-- shut up!! 女のカッコが出来たら女形になねると思ったら大間違いなんだよ!!
if you think just because you go out with girl clothes you can be an onnagata you're very wrong!!

Kagato:
出雲。。。やっと分かってきてくれたんだね
Izumo... finally you came to understand...?

Izumo: そーゆー意味で言ったんじゃねー
i didn't mean like that...

Rui:
じゃあ師匠
...then master... 女形とは何かが分かったら、 オレを弟子にしてくれるんですね!?
if i learn what it needs to be a onnagata, will you make your apprentice, right!?
what i need to understand about onnagata so you'll make me your apprentice!?This is the gist , but i'm not sure which one is the right one,

Izumo:
ったく...
geez... めんどくせーコトになったぜ...
it turned into something bothersome...
なんで男の中の男を目指してるオレが
a guy like me, who aims to be a men among men,
女のなり方なんか教えなくちゃいけねーんだよ
can't teach how to act like a girl...
...ま、弟子って響きは悪くねーけどな.
...but, an apprentice doesn't sound so bad.
舎弟
an underling

Rui:
師匠!!
Master!
お背中流します!!
i'll wash your back!!

Izumo:
ギャアア!!!
gyaaa!!!

Rui: 加賀斗さんが,弟子は師匠の身の回りの世話しろって
Kagato-san said is the apprentice jobs to look after the master's necessities.

Izumo:
い。。。いい!!
it's... it's fine!!
もーあらったし!
i already washed!

Rui: そんな邪魔者扱いしないでください!
please don't treat me like something annoying!
オレも女形で舞台立っていっぱい稼ぎたいんです!
i also want to earn a lot of money performing as an onnagata!

Izumo:
うるせー!
shut up! ガメ(つい)ヤローだな * ガメ(フい)ヤローだなThis sentence is a little one, and i can't quite read, i try putting both of them in the program, but neither make sense. If really doesn't make sense to nobody, i'll put the page here.

Re: Request a Full Translation Check

My bad, I put a strikethrough on ダマせる line in my previous post. Somehow I thought the line was ダマらせる.

それでも17代目をダマせるくらい女装には自信あります The direct translation would be: I have confidence in cross-dressing as much as I can trick the 17th leader. Make it into your colloquial style. For example, " Still, I have confidence in cross-dressing, and I'm sure that I can even trick the 17th leader. "

" 女形とは何かが分かったら、 オレを弟子にしてくれるんですね!?" which of my translation is the most correct
if i learn what it needs to be an onnagata, will you make your apprentice, right!?
what i need to understand about onnagata so you'll make me your apprentice!?

As a whole sentence, the first is closer, but you need to add "me" between make and your.

Direct translation would be: If/When I understand what the onnagata is, you will make me your apprentice, right? Feel free to move 女形とは何かが分かったら、part when you translate into English. You could but you don't need to keep the JP structure.

For example, So, you'll accept me as your apprentice if I get what it takes to be an onganaga. (, right? is fine, too.)

And how about the others red parts?
The blue ones could be corrected in the proofread,
so the red parts, where i didn't quite understand, are the ones worrying me the most

Most red parts are fine.

If you plan to publish your translation, you need a dedicated proofreader, or join a group with editors and proofreaders. For specific translation accuracy questions, please make normal a thread and explain what parts you are having problems with, so you may receive more feedback from other translators as well.

Edit/Add

For example, it's hard to tell what part you have a problem with looking at the following line. Do you not understand the meaning, or you just don't know how to put it in English? (Some proofreaders would perhaps tell you to add ", " before "too.")

Quote:

いっくんも車で来たらいいのに
would be better if Ikkun came by car too.

You could translate いっくん as "you" and add ", Ikkun" at the end.
~いいのに： You should just ... ; Why don't you just .....