In Higher Ground, his story of love and loss was entertaining to say the least, but Papa O’Toole’s experiences served an even greater purpose, revealing that while old habits die hard, it’s never too late to teach an O’Toole how to be a better man. The way Joe handled his brief romance with Kate, as well as his interactions with Oliver throughout the film, reveal a man not only empowered by his wilderness experience, but made wiser by it.

Trading Birds For Butterflies

In many ways, Joe’s behavior at lunch with Oliver seemed very uncharacteristic. The perspective with which Joe apparently exited the Wilderness found him not only pursuing the items on his list of buckets, but prepared to find someone with whom to do so. But it was the awkwardness with which Joe expressed this desire that had me scratching my head a bit. In fact, it made me wonder if he was even ready to be in a relationship, or if Joe was headed for heartbreak from the very beginning.

Our first clue that this might not be the best idea is the fact that Kate is a lepidopterist, or someone who studies/raises butterflies. Butterflies have a lot in common with birds---who have become synonymous with the women in the lives of the O’Toole men---not the least of which is their tendency to “fly away.”

Remember the thing that put Joe on the path to the Wilderness was his failed marriage to Oliver’s mother--- a “bird”---and the relational, spiritual and emotional damage it caused, that, unhealed, caused Joe to wander “off trail.” Taken in this context, it’s no wonder I was apprehensive.

And, of course, Kate fell right in line, “[taking] up with the fertilizer salesman and mov[ing] to Durango,” leaving Joe heartbroken or “whatever,” but certainly wiser. When Joe conveys to Oliver later that he doesn’t “want to see [Oliver] get hurt” after the debrief on D.C., Oliver asks “What about you?” Joe’s response, “You heard the song---hand it over” reveals that Joe has, indeed, learned from the past. He knows Whom to go to with his heartbreak, and is capable of moving on in a healthy way.

POstable Parenting

Another thing Joe exited the Wilderness better prepared and positioned to do was parent his son. Joe’s advice and support for him throughout Higher Ground gently guides Oliver towards becoming a better man.

Just after Shane’s departure, Joe asks questions of Oliver that cause him to evaluate if “as clear as [he] knows how to be” is really clear at all, and advises him to “take [his] time” when Oliver gets the chance to kiss Shane again. As Oliver goes longer and longer without Shane, Joe tries to make sure that Oliver “gets out” for poker night and isn’t alone. At one point he even mentions the possibility that “Mr. National Security” might not have any intention to “release” Shane. It’s a suggestion that later helps to support Oliver’s decision to go to D.C. after Shane, or at the very least contribute to the “bluff” that causes Shane to question her circumstances, which eventually brings her home.

Perhaps his greatest point of parenting was in telling Oliver to “stay on the main streets” because Joe “doesn’t want to see him get hurt.” While the literal meaning is valid, there’s also a figurative recognition that both have recently been hurt in ways they know all too well. Setting an example, Joe asserts he’s “hand[ing] it over,” perhaps implicitly pointing his son to God as well. This would be in stark contrast to previous advice Joe dispensed that could be interpreted with or without the lense of faith applied. Here, the distinction is the most explicit in pointing Oliver towards faith than Joe has ever expressed.

When we enter a new season, God often likes to present us once more with the challenges that hindered us in our previous season to see if we’ve learned from them. A little month after his Wilderness encounter, Joe’s eagerness to live life to its fullest found him navigating familiar challenges in that pursuit, but overcoming them in ways that exercise his new wisdom and set a positive, healthy, valuable example for Oliver at the same time. He might still have something to learn when it comes to pursuing a “forever fit,” but the resiliency he exhibited leaves us hopeful Joe is headed in the right direction moving forward.

Cheering Him On,~C

P.S. Have you heard the awesome news?! Lost Without You is nominated for four Leo Awards! Learn More

Great post as usual Chandel! I love the "trading birds for butterflies" as Joe still has some room to grow in that department. Seeing the ways he guided Oliver as you put them together here really made me realize how huge an impact he made in helping Oliver throughout HG.

Great post, Chandel! I love how Shane's intuitive support of Joe when he first appeared in the DLO in Truth Be Told is coming around full circle. Now as Joe supports Oliver as he endures painful uncertainty during Shane's absence in Higher Ground, he's actually supporting Shane as well. What a blessing that Shane listened to that "still, small voice" that she should help reunite father/son and continue to insist that they cement their bond. It's paying huge dividends for all three individuals.

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Diane

5/3/2017 01:56:11 pm

Thanks for the picture of Joe with Kate. First time I've seen his "love interest" in HG.
I just can't help but think who could be the "one" for Joe. With his already deep connection to Oliver and Shane, and seemingly increasing connection to Norman and Rita and their gardening experiences and telling them to call him "Joe"...who could fit into this group ?
Shane's mother ! Like Oliver and Shane, Joe and Shane's mother have had similar life experiences with spouses walking out on them, leaving them to raise an only child. And we already know that she likes to garden - the infamous rose bush that now continues to live in Denver. I think she would be a perfect fit.

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Teresa

5/9/2017 04:36:12 pm

I respectfully disagree with Shane's mother dating and / or potentially marrying Joe O'Toole. If Shane and Oliver ever got married then Oliver and Shane would then be brother and sister.
That thought alone is creepy to imagine.

I understand that POstables would like to see Joe having a lasting relationship but with someone yet known to us.
A new character to be Joe's partner in life.

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Diane

5/9/2017 08:30:15 pm

At this point, we haven't even met Shane's mother. So, when she finally makes an appearance, it would seem odd to me that she and Joe would marry before Shane and Oliver. But if that did happen, they would technically only be "stepbrother/sister". It would be strange if their parents had married years ago and they had grown up together but that is hardly the case. I rather think it would be an answer to Shane's Christmas letter to God asking to have a happy family once again, Oliver gaining the mom his own mother couldn't be and Shane gaining the dad her own father couldn't be.