That is an odd question. It has put all sorts of visuals into my head – a room full of people trying to copy a position the teachers are demonstrating. I don’t think I would be interested in a course of advanced sexual positions. I simply like to get into a position that feels good or right at the time.

TMI Tuesday – Tell It Like It Is.

TMI Tuesday – Elaborate on each in greater than 20 words but no more than 100 words.

Sex is _____ .

Sex is vital to my life. When I was younger I had problems with sex as I found it difficult to face up to what kind of sex I like. From the moment I did I felt more fulfilled and true to myself. Having regular sex helps keep you happy, healthy and strengthens your relationship with your partner. To achieve a good sex life – communication is key…

Have you ever been in a situation where you find yourself fighting hard to get a relationship off the ground? Is it because of the lack of emotional compatibility?

Emotional Compatibility Matters

Stimulation is so important within a relationship

Ok, have you ever been in a situation where you find yourself fighting hard to get a relationship off the ground? You are sure it has the makings of a meaningful partnership so you invest time, encouragement and most of all love in the person concerned. Your mind is set and any doubts that flutter past are waved away because you are convinced you are doing the right thing with the right person. And maybe for a short while you are, but what happens next confuses you because it is unexpected, it creeps up, slaps you in the face.

As even though in your heart you feel you love this man, you also know he is very lucky to have you loving him, because you believe in yourself and your capabilities. So, after a flying start – where affection and time are lavished on you – an empty vacuum opens up, you become bewildered as to why this could possibly happen. He still smiles at you in that way, wants to make love to you every night and checks your phone! Continue reading Emotional Compatibility Matters in a Long Term Relationship→

Date Night can take your relationship to a more intense level.

Date Night Matters

So it’s date night. Or date day. We started date night accidentally right at the beginning of our partnership. We had known each other for years so were well aware of where we wanted to take the sexual side of our relationship. The chemistry between us and general compatibility were very high and so we were both inspired to take the sex, and consequently the relationship as a whole, to a more intense level. Date night grew out of this desire.

With this in mind, on one of the first occasions we got to spend time together alone, he had set up a whole scenario which involved cable ties, ropes, whips and other such paraphernalia. After the course of events had been taken through to its natural conclusion we were exhilarated and excited about what we had achieved. (Read about it here). We were also somewhat exhausted mentally and physically. We were always going to have a lot of sex, but knew these special nights would have to be limited to keep them that way. I have children who are just starting to make their way in the world – I’m not in the throes of youth anymore, and neither is he.

Giving Your Time Matters

Life can be busy but we value each other and our relationship highly enough to make the time and effort to indulge the sexual pleasures we enjoy. We never fail to feel closer after a date night and may savour that time by talking about what went on for days. The evenings are generally more distinctive than the date-days as added time and effort are put into them.

Once we have set aside a night – usually about every 3/4 weeks – I start to plan my makeup and what I am going to wear. This will depend on whether we are meeting out or staying in. Often he will tell me put e how he wishes me to dress. I enjoy adorning myself just for him more than if I was going out to a bar or restaurant to socialise. This is reflected in the great deal of effort I put into my appearance – right down to plucking eyebrows and painting nails. I am not a plastic woman and am indeed fortunate for my age to have excellent breasts, very good skin and lips, good hands and nails and long legs. I would never dream of subjecting my body to false boobs, nails or hair. Indeed if I did my man would run a mile!

Date nights make me feel valued and appreciated. He always makes the effort to cook an excellent meal and plans the setting and the equipment to be used. He indulges me with compliments and champagne. Date days can be even more exciting as they are often spontaneous and the experience can be far more urgent and explicit. These encounters reaffirm in my mind why we are together. For him I submit because in my mind he deserves me to.

Communication is key…

How Do I Tell My Partner About My Fantasies?

Talk about your fantasies

Fantasy Matters

How do I tell my partner about my fantasies? This question is one that I am sure has passed across every adult’s mind at some time in a relationship. I feel it is extremely important to be able to express yourself sexually and fulfil your fantasies with your partner, but you can’t just expect them to know what you yearn for unless you have discussed it. How do I tell my partner about my fantasies? Well communication is paramount in any sexual relationship but particularly so when “kinkier” events are played out.

The following scenario occurred on a regular afternoon in my life. The incidents that happened were highly charged and pleasurable to us both. I trusted him to deliver what I desired and he trusted me to take it. This trust was not blind, it existed because we spend much time talking about our fantasies and what we both require within our sexual relationship. If we can do that, you can too. So how do I tell my partner about my fantasies? A good place to start is to ask them first exactly what they want sexually and what occurs within their fantasies. Then you are free to explain what you long for in return. Remember they may be pondering the same question in regards to you. Such a conversation can be difficult to initiate but so rewarding in the long term. It shouldn’t be just a one off dialog either. It’s a topic a couple should return to often if they are going to keep their relationship satisfying. Don’t be afraid to ask, after all it is far more frightening to be in a relationship that is just not stimulating you, than to ask a question that momentarily may make you blush.

“Do you want me to wear lipstick?” I ask him.

“Yes that’s an idea”, he replies, removing his t shirt. We had just come in from the garden where we had been enjoying lamb/pepper kebabs and wine for lunch. Now both hot and a little bit sweaty we had moved into the bedroom to indulge ourselves.