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Death On 51st

There was a moan coming form my parents bed room, not the kind you would except

My mother was sedated,morphine was her partner now

She didn’t want to live so instead she just moan

An occasionally ask who was in the living room, she kept hearing voices, she thought someone was talking about her

I told my brother she needed more morphine,then asked me how I knew

I told him to trust me and wait till the nurse came

She, my mother was all white all the complexion in her face was gone, she had already begun to die

But you see this was my mother, the control freak that she was

If she couldn’t live on her terms she wanted to die

If she couldn’t eat what she wanted she took more insulin to compensate

If she couldn’t have my father by her side, she made sure he had no spending money to go out while she preparing to die

How I wished I didn’t know how morphine worked

How I wish she was here to see who l am now

But life in all of its wisdom never seems to answer these questions

Just some more morphine till death did she part

“Just a side bar, this just came out, this wasn’t my plan, I’ve been waiting for this for a very long time, I’m sorry but this one for me, if it upsets you it was my intention.” Please let me have this one……. I needed to wash my soul and let it go

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22 thoughts on “Death On 51st”

Being there when a parent die is the most difficult of filial duties. I spent 18 days with my mother and she passed away after 2 days in a coma. I am sure it was what she wanted. Peacefully. She just breathed slower and slower. Then stopped. Everyone has to get it out of their system. It is 15 years this month my mother died. It is as vivid as yesterday. I understand.

This one was rough for me Andrew. She was all things to me, a mother, the protagonist, a teacher, there was so much emotions that for a very long time I blocked it out. I’ve been working on getting these feelings to come out and this morning it hit me like a ton if bricks, bam it came out like a switch had been flipped. I feel drained but better thank you for your support and understanding