My mom died a year ago, I'm failing college, not going to class much since she died. I've been getting a bunch of withdrawals from college. I can't do anything right even though I try. There's always something that gets in the way even when I try to pass a class. I feel like my life is cursed. I don't have any friends. I have a thyroid disease that screws up my metabolism. Some days I'm energetic and have to eat constantly in order to even take a shower, other days I'm so tired I can barely get out of bed. Then I got Crohn's disease and I feel like I have the worst luck in the world. I'm stuck in a crappy town with the side of my family that I don't like, including some psycho grandmother who takes me to all my doctor's appointments. It's torture. I try to escape with my painkillers. I'm drinking a couple beers right now. Is it weird to get drunk on only 1 beer? I don't know if I can recover."The path to enlightenment is littered with the bodies of the ignorant." - Musashi Miyamoto

Hi Cyborg, Self medicating is not going to help any of your situations. All it is going to do is possibly cause severe medical and mental complications. Especially if you have Crohn's disease and a thyroid problem. Is it really worth it? Have you tried to seek out counseling for the issues you listed? Regardless, it seems that you could benefit from it. Also, I was wondering if you take an antidepressant? This is another option that could help greatly. Please take care....

Hi Cyborg, Im sorry to hear that your having these problems.I agree els, I think counseling and meds. would help.Please don,t self medicate it can be very dangerous. The loss of a loved one can send us into a talespin, it will get better with time.You might need some added help right now though to help you. I would seek medical help to get you through this hard time.My prayers will be with you,and i hope you feel better soon!

First, let me offer you my condolenses. It must be extremely difficult to lose a family member, especially your mom. May I ask if she died right around this time last year? If so, that may trigger your current feelings of hopelessness. On a related note, have you thought about possibly taking some time off from school? It sounds like you are struggling with a lot right now and you may need a break in order to determine if school is something you really want to pursue right now.

I dropped out of college when I was 17 and it was actually one of the best decisions I've made. Now, I would not recommend it to everyone, especially if you think you would not go back if you walked away right now. But, that decision is there. I know from my perspective it was a very difficult decision to make, but in the end it actually bought me and my mom closer, I got clarity on what I really wanted to do with my life, and I had time to heal. There was a lot happening right around that time in my life. One of my best friends from high school was killed in a car accident, my boyfriend tried to rape me, I was going to a school that I hated, 'cause my folks were footing the bill, and I was involved in a car accident just six months after we burried "K", so I couldn't understand why she died and I survived. It was a lot to deal with and luckily I got over my fear of psychologists and started seeing a counselor at the college who agreed to keep seeing me after I dropped out of school. She helped me to work through my pain and well as help me identify what I wanted my priorities to be. I was able to figure out what I really wanted to go to school for and worked out an agreement with my parents that we were all confortable with.

So, perhaps, you may want to consider just focusing in on just one item that you've already identified and work on that until you have a handle on it and then move on to the next item. Please remember this is just my experience, you are obviously a unique and talented person, otherwise you would not have gotten into school in the first place, so only you can determine what is right for you.

Best of luck and please let me know how things progress. By the way, my brother was recently diagnosed with Crohn's too, but ever since he found out what it was that was causing all of his problems - he doesn't let it stop him from doing anything at all! :)

I've thought about taking a break but I don't think that's the answer for me. I've been out of the loop, slacking off (if you can really call it that, not like I'm partying or anything) for a year and a half. And no one in my family would support it. They don't even understand what I'm going through or care. I'm not that close to anyone. Maybe I'll try to see a counselor, I dunno. I wish I could have an easier schedule. I'm slowly trying to do things that I enjoy on my own that are related to my major - computer science. That way I'm still learning even if I'm not going to class. Glad to hear your brother's doing well - I wish him luck and success."The path to enlightenment is littered with the bodies of the ignorant." - Musashi Miyamoto