Thoughts from the interface of science, religion, law and culture

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

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EVENTS

Laurie: Prayer Will Work This Time.

Pastor Greg Laurie, a columnist for the Worldnutdaily, is the honorary chairman of Joseph Farah’s day of prayer and fasting that the WND is promoting like mad for Sept. 11th of this year. And he’s sure that, despite all the other prayers that have ever been said, this time it’s going to do something:

Laurie, pastor of Harvest Christian Fellowship in Riverside, Calif., and the founder of Harvest Crusades, said the issue really isn’t complicated..

“If we pray, God will hear,” Laurie said. “When He hears, who knows what He might do?”

Laurie said the nation needs much prayer, not just a single event.

“As this year’s honorary chairman of the National Day of Prayer I support WND’s 9/11/13 National Day of Prayer and Fasting. I agree with Joseph Farah that America faces a spiritual crisis and there is nothing more effective we can bring our requests to God,” Laurie said.

“In Scripture, God tells us ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ (Jer 33:3)”

You mean God hasn’t heard this all before? There were about a dozen such events last year alone. And every day, millions of Christians pray that God will send “revival” to America. Did God not hear all those prayers before? Do you have it on good authority that he has Sept. 11th off and will be paying attention? Or is there something magical about this particular day of prayer that wasn’t true of all the other ones that the very same people said would make a difference?

“If we pray, God will hear,” Laurie said. “When He hears, who knows what He might do?”

Isn’t that a problem? When you’re dealing with a capricious and powerful individual, you do your best not to provoke them, because you never know how much trouble their reaction will cause. Maybe God will send a flood, or an earthquake, or a plague of frog – and past experience suggests that it’ll be in the wrong part of the world. Do you want that on your conscience, Greg? Assuming you have one?

Of course, there’s no way to prove this, but I’ll bet every single plane that was hijacked on 9.11 had devout Christians riding in them.

And I’ll bet inside every single plane, there were plenty of people praying for deliverance.

I guess 19 guys with boxcutters are more powerful than the Christian god. Maybe we should all convert to Islam. Now there’s a god who gets things done. He doesn’t just count on prayer. He gives people box cutters…and pressure cookers, and probably a whole lot of other useful kitchen appliances.

I think that says it all. Translation: We have no idea if he’ll do anything or not, or what it might be, but we’re sure praying is a good idea anyway.

Even back when I was nominally a believer I never really understood intercessory prayer. Doesn’t an omniscient God know better than I do what I want and need? Doesn’t he already know how he’s going to answer my prayer, if he does so at all?

Where I park at work there’s often a car with a bumper sticker that says “Pray to end abortion.” I’ve always wondered what they think the point is. God, apparently, hates abortion, and could end it anytime he wishes at no cost to himself, but he won’t do so until a certain magic number of people pray about it? What is the magic number? Do they have to pray in certain ways? Mother Teresa used to say that if enough people prayed the rosary, abortion would end. I don’t think she ever specified the mechanism, however, or why the rosary in particular.

I really wish people here would not be so smug and dismissive. What if, this time, it really works and the good pastor and friends get their wish for a right-wing theocratic regime here in America*? Will you be able to look yourself in the mirror on 9/12/13 knowing you did nothing to stop them and their God?

I propose action: Ed needs to rally FTB to spearhead a National Day of Blasphemy, Sin and Gluttony to counter the Natjional Day of Prayer and Fasting. We can have Greta read from her new book of erotica, PZ lead a mass descecration of Catholic crackers, Physioproffe can lay out a spread of his high-calorie Italian entrees. Ed can dust off his comedy chops and do some blasphemous standup. Maybe Mayam can get FEMEN on board for some mass breast-bearing to give both God and the fundies a really bad case of the vapors. Whaddya say? We’ll fight the good fight and have a shitload of fun too! :)

TO is nice in late May and it’s been years since I visited. Trouble is, US Customs have become pricks of late and it’s a real drag to be treated like shit for trying to go back to one’s own fucking country.

If we pray, God will hear,” Laurie said. “When He hears, who knows what He might do?”

Yeah, well why risk it then, given his track record at being the biggest dick in the universe he’s probably more likely to send a life exterminating asteroid than to do what you want him to, that’s kinda his MO.

There it is. Religion produces so little that it dare not have the parishioners casting backward glances. They must be encouraged to always look to the future; that’s when all the good stuff starts, you just wait and see.

Bruce @ #10
I was thinking along the same lines – I think that it will be a good day to have a nice steak dinner and raise a toast in memory of those that we lost that day.
It seems like a much nicer tribute to me.

Kevin (#7) – but they were iron box-cutters. God’s Kryptonite is iron (or it’s derivatives)*.
RE: Jerm. 3:33 – I have it on good authority that god spends a lot of time in his room googling porn and jerking-off. [He’s got precious little time for answering the whining of earthly jerk-offs].
Dingo
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* Which is weird since iron is the waste product of both fusion and fission, and thus is becoming more abundant in the universe every second. Silly old god! He should have arranged the laws of physics so that Si or U or Au were the element with the lowest energy potential, rather than his nemesis Fe.

* Which is weird since iron is the waste product of both fusion and fission, and thus is becoming more abundant in the universe every second. Silly old god! He should have arranged the laws of physics so that Si or U or Au were the element with the lowest energy potential, rather than his nemesis Fe.

You’re confusing cause and effect here.

Iron is his weak point because it is the element with the lowest energy potential.

“If we pray, God will hear,” Laurie said. “When He hears, who knows what He might do?”

He can’t hear you. Rev. He’s got his IPOD blastin’ some Ludicrous and he’s smoking a spliff the size of a Blue Whale.

“Mother Teresa used to say that if enough people prayed the rosary, abortion would end. I don’t think she ever specified the mechanism, however, or why the rosary in particular.”

Well, praying the rosary for most who are not “Novena Masters” (my mom was one) requires the use of both hands. If one constantly prays the rosary it is quite difficult to masturbate, never mind copulate.

“Ed needs to rally FTB to spearhead a National Day of Blasphemy, Sin and Gluttony…”

Your comment makes me wonder if there is a website out there that specializes in selling fundies nothing but bronze cutting tools. Speaking of bronze, how do the ultra ortodunce KKKristians square lovin’ em some JESUS with driving fucking cars? Iron chariots by another name.

Apparently their doesnt like little individual prayers. People need to set up mass prayers on specific days for him to give a flying rats ass about. These people really have strange, unflattering views of thier own god that are illustrated in vague attempts to communicate with him, as if he was hard of hearing, and interpreting everything that happens as some sort of directive from a god. It’s really strange that he cannot communicate clearly with his creations at all.