Relationships in youth & teens

Relationships are a part of being human. We all have them – with our families, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, and partners. We can learn a lot about ourselves through our relationships.

This page is mostly about intimate or close relationships with another person, and it doesn't have to mean a sexual relationship.

When you are in a healthy relationship you will feel safe, respected and cared for by the other person. You feel good when you are with them and comfortable to be yourself. They listen to you. If you're in a sexual relationship, you don't feel pressure at any time to have sex, and you feel respected. You can take this simple quiz to test the health of your relationship.

Unhealthy relationships

Sometimes it can be difficult to see the signs of an unhealthy relationship when you are in one. But if a relationship is unhealthy you may not feel good about yourself, you might feel scared, controlled or put down by the other person. Try using this interactive power and control wheel to find out more about different forms of abuse. And this pamphlet has information about relationship abuse.

Breakups

It's pretty usual to experience your first heartbreak during your teens or early 20s. Breakups can be incredibly difficult, especially so if you have had extra challenges in your own family growing up.

When a breakup happens the pain you feel might be like nothing you've ever experienced before. It can feel unbearable. It's important to remember that the pain will get better with time and you will get to feel OK again.

Grief is a normal process and we all go through it. But if you're finding it really hard to get through it's a good idea to talk to your doctor or another health professional.

Supporting friends

You may also find yourself supporting friends who are going through difficult life and relationship stuff, and want to know how you can support them. (This site is Australian so the numbers won't work in New Zealand). Sexual assault for youth and teens also has information about how to support a friend.

Phone and email helplines

Sometimes it can be easier to talk anonymously and the free phone lines can be a good start.

You might also like to try Dr G, which provides email support and suggestions for problems with health, sexual health, and relationships. You can email in your question and a health professional will respond. This website for young people on the West Coast includes a forum where you can discuss any issues you're dealing with, information about free counselling on the West Coast, online quizzes to help you figure out if you need help for a mental health or addiction issue, and other useful stuff.