Just another happy rag by one of them broads.

Happily.

Well, I am happy to report that I have lost the extra weight plus an extra 100 grams and now I only have 2,2 kilos left to lose until I hit 100 kilos. And that is before the tea has started to do its job. I was extra careful about what I ate yesterday, without going hungry, of course. I didn’t have any crackers and cheese before I went to sleep. Just a glass of milk. Eduard had TjapTjoi from the Chinese for dinner last night and I had a 3 egg omelet. Eduard said: Can you really eat all of that? I said: Sure, it’s mostly air. The dog had the last few bites, when I was getting full, so he got lucky.

I went and had coffee with my sister yesterday afternoon. I took the dog and only stayed for an hour, because she was actually very busy with all sorts of things. My niece showed me her latest purchases in the clothing department and I promised to come by on Sunday and show her one of my new tank tops and my new shoes. My toe is slowly getting better and I hope I will be able to wear my new shoes by Sunday. If not, I’ll still go and wear them over there and hope I don’t cripple myself for life! I do so enjoy my niece, as I can talk to her as if she is a grown up and we especially do this when my sister is not around. Erica wasn’t home when I first got there and Anna is so relaxed when it is just me and her. She is so mature!

Eduard was home last night and at nine o’clock the dog let us know that he absolutely had to go for his walk right now. Eduard was watching a quiz show, so I took Jesker for his walk and got home at 9:30. By that time I was ready to go to bed, of course, and so was Eduard, so we both made an early night of it again. I had had such a long day, that I was asleep in no time at all. At this rate it is going to take me weeks to get through that Paul Theroux book. For a change, I went to sleep on my side and it was warm, so I hardly had the duvet pulled over me, and I think I read a page before I was asleep.

On the news last night, there was an item about the radicalisation of especially Moroccan youth in the Netherlands. It seems that ultra conservative elements are infiltrating the mosques and are influencing the people with very heated and anti-western speeches. This ultra conservative wing of the Islam has a name, which I now can’t remember, but it causes some amount of concern, as it opposes the freedoms and ideas that we stand for here in the Netherlands. It is a genuine clash of cultures. As there are one million Muslims in the Netherlands, this concerns me too, but we have to remember that the radicalisation is only taking place under a relatively small amount of people. It’s a shame that these Moroccan youth are drawn to this especially and that they don’t feel integrated enough in our society to feel part of it. They reject us and what we stand for and I don’t know what the answer is to that. It makes me sad that they live in our society, but don’t feel part of it.

On another note, not to become too morbid, the weather is supposed to cool down just a little, but for the next week, no rain is in the forecast. The April weather has broken all sorts of records. When I go outside, I usually get a bit out of breath, but only sometimes it is bad enough that I need to use my inhaler, so, so far, so good. The dog makes many pit stops, so I don’t have to walk too fast usually. If he gets too far ahead of me, he waits for me at some corner, if not, I tell him to wait and that works, because he gets a treat. Eduard says that Jesker seems to listen better to me than he does to him, but I think that is because I always have treats with me, and I treat him like an absentminded toddler with whom you have to be very patient. He does want to listen, but he daydreams and his mind is not always on the job.

On the 11th of May, my daughter is graduating from law school. I am not going to be able to be there, but her father will be and so will her aunt, her father’s twin sister. If any of you want to send her a graduation card, you can email me for the address. I am so proud of her, because she did manage it in spite of her divorce and being a single mom and the death of her brother. Those were all difficult things to get through. She was especially attached to Brion and I know it was a hard blow for her, as it was to all of us, of course, but I think it was hardest on her. I know she lives her life now always keeping his last words to her in mind, and he still is very much a presence in her life now.

Jesker has been out here to greet me, but has gone back to the bedroom. No cats are lining up yet. Gandhi is in Eduard’s work room, sitting in front of the window, watching the birds go by that land in the Golden Rain.

Since today is Saturday, I will make sure the apartment is cleaned up really well, so that tomorrow I can get away with not doing anything. Our fluffy cat, Lotje, is losing a lot of hair. Everywhere I look, there are little bunches of it. She likes to sleep under the conifers that are in the end of the garden of our neighbors in the back, and when she gets home, she always has bits of conifer in her fur. That is her summertime spot to hang out at.

I thought that I would have fallen asleep on the sofa yesterday at some point, because I had gotten up in the middle of the night, but I did no such thing. That worried me for a bit, because I thought I might be too hyper to fall asleep at all, but I needn’t have worried. I think the night time rituals of going to bed sooth my brain and get me in the right mood to go to sleep. I always do really well when I have to travel from here to the States or from the States back again. I never really have a jet lag and I am always able to stay up and pick up the routine at whichever place I am at. I usually get just a bit drowsy in the plane and take little cat naps, but not much and mostly I think flying is just very boring, unless you get upgraded to business class. When I win the lottery, I am always going to fly business class, it is such a luxury compared to economy where you are squeezed in like sardines. I seem to remember economy class being much more comfortable some 25 years ago, but that can be my imagination. I now think they have made the seats smaller and have squeezed them closer together. Or is it just me?

The first time I flew, was with my mother and my little sister, when I came out to California for the first time. That is 35 years ago. My mother still smoked, (everyone did back then) and the ashtray was in the back of the seat ahead of her. When she extinguished one of her cigarettes, she managed to put the seat on fire and it started to smolder and noxious fumes came out. The co-pilot had to come with a fire extinguisher to put it out, much to my mother’s embarrassment. We were so excited to be going out to California to meet the man of my dreams, although I am sure that there a was a lot of hesitation at my mother’s part also. My little sister saw nothing but mountains and deserts below us at one point, and thought out loud that she really didn’t want to go there. That chapter of my life should be titled: How I Met My American Family. Or: Girl, You Should Have Stayed Home Where You Belonged. Once you are someplace, it is hard to leave again without feeling a certain amount of embarrassment about it. How I Thought I Was Going Crazy, But Didn’t Know That I Really Was. Ha ha!

Eduard has been out to get his coffee, but claims he needs to sleep another hour, because he has to work until midnight tonight. I think he wants to stay in bed now, because it is no fun to be up yet and we have no cookies and the stores are still closed. I thought I was going to mind not having any cookies at all, but it isn’t too bad at all. When
I want something sweet now, I eat an apple, so that works too. I am really cutting down on the cheese consumption now, because without the crackers and cheese, I just eat the small chunk of cheese for a snack, and that isn’t very much. But I do drink about a quart of milk a day, so that is good. I am thinking of my bones, of course. Still, with the extra vitamins I am taking, I seem to lose less hair. The Obesitas Nurse Specialist said, that if I take 3 Davitamon vitamin pills every day, I don’t have to take the extra vitamins AD and B, but it is working so well with taking those and taking just two Davitamons, that I don’t really want to change the formula. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? If any of you have any input on this, I would like to hear about it. I have good skin and good hair now and I want to keep it that way.

Toby is eating dog food, Pedigree for older dogs. He always does this, but so far it doesn’t seem to hurt him. Toby doesn’t really like canned food, not even when it is the best, he just doesn’t care. Toby is one of my favorite cats, because he is so cool. He acts like he owns the word wisdom and walks around the world with a certain amount of bravado. Yesterday, he let some of the girl cats know he was boss, by chasing them around a bit, while the dog tried to stop him from doing it. Toby doesn’t care. When he is done, he lies down in the middle of the room with a look on his face that says: Well, I’ve made my point! Even his best girlfriend, Nouri, gets worried.

Well, now I have to go and walk the dog, it is past his time and no doubt he has urgent business…

In my relationship with my sister, who is seven years younger than I am, I try to be kind and thoughtful and, lately especially, cheerful. But every once in awhile she comes at me with a snide remark or a very critical comment, that comes at me out of the blue, and that takes me completely by surprise, as I don’t see it coming at all. As a result, at that moment, I am not always ready with a rebuttal, I am usually just gobsmacked. Then when I get home, I realize how much of what she has said bothers me, because I keep thinking about it and I try to figure out what motivated her to say such things. It takes me the rest of the day to get over it. I discuss it with Eduard and he says that my sister has her own neuroses and to not take it personal, but of course, she never says such things to Eduard. I try to figure it out, and the only thing I can think is, that sometimes I get too close to her for her own comfort and she literally emotionally shoves me away from her good and hard. She did this again yesterday and now that I think about it this morning, I realize that I will give her a good bit of space until she is feeling normal again, because I sure don’t enjoy her in the present mood. Well, you can’t pick your relatives, right?

I can’t wait for my tank tops to be delivered. I am so curious to see if they will fit! Well, now I have to get going, so ciao for now…