Caregivers gain 'powerful tools' in workshop series

Wednesday

Mar 7, 2018 at 10:13 AMMar 7, 2018 at 5:56 PM

A six-week series of workshops will show caregivers how to meet the challenges and take better care of themselves. The Cohasset and Duxbury senior centers are presenting the free program in Duxbury, open to all communities,

Sue Scheible The Patriot Ledger @sues_ledger

COHASSET – For years, Nancy LaFauce has advised family caregivers to be sure to take care of themselves and take a break while looking after parents or spouses. She has worked for three local senior centers over 20 years. But when her late mother Barbara Joyce became ill, LaFauce found herself in a familiar predicament: her mother, who had cancer, came to live with her family and LaFauce wanted to do all she could; sometimes she ran herself ragged. Joyce died in June 2017.

Starting April 4 and running through May 9, LaFauce, outreach coordinator at Cohasset Elder Affairs, and Donna Ciappina, outreach manager at Duxbury Senior Center, will offer a series of free classes to help caregivers handle all the challenges. The program is called "Powerful Tools for Caregivers."

"We all try to take from our own lives in these discussions'" LaFauce said. "Everyone is being touched by this issue now in some way, or they will go through it. We can't let ourselves go because life is consumed with caregiving for someone else."

Ciappina, who also runs an ongoing support group for caregivers in Duxbury, and LaFauce have trained for the educational series, developed at Stanford University and based in Portland OR. Last spring, they presented the series in Cohasset. This spring, it will be at the Duxbury Senior Center, 10 Mayflower St. on Wednesdays from 2 to 3:30 p.m. There are some 165 certified trainers in Massachusetts.

"Powerful Tools for Caregivers" aims to build strategies for managing tasks, meeting needs and self confidence. The goals are to reduce stress, better communicate feelings, accomplish different tasks more easily, increase the ability to make tough decisions and locate helpful resources. The hope: to give the best care for as long as needed.

"We want the caregivers to understand they are as important as the people they are caring for and they need to take time out for themselves," said LaFauce, who lives in Marshfield. She worked for Weymouth Elder Services and Scituate councils on aging before coming to Cohasset.

"For example, we suggest people ask a friend for help if they need someone to be there with their family member so they can go out and take a walk. We encourage them to reach out to doctors for medical information and know that they can stand up for themselves and that they have a voice also."

The reason for the focus on communication issues is that caregivers sometimes feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities and a flood of information. Many people can find it difficult to talk about certain issues to other family members, paid health aides, or even home repair services.

There are tools for practicing self confidence and reminders to reduce their own stress. If one family member is doing more, they may need a boost in asking to get some relief. Husbands often used to manage the finances; it can be daunting for a wife to handle a checkbook or meet with a financial planner.

The caregiving groups are comprised mostly of women but have had husbands; there are also daughters, sons, sisters. The illnesses include Alzheimer's and dementia, Parkinson's, depression, multiple sclerosis and other chronic conditions.

Personally, LaFauce has learned resiliency from the caregivers.

"They are the strongest people I have ever met," she said. "Knowing what they go through on a daily basis ... they are smiling, doing what they need to do. There is so much going on behind the scenes and I give them credit that they can get up every day and there is so much love for whom they are caring for. There is hope in the world."

LaFauce has noticed over time that caregivers have gotten the message to make time for themselves. "They are thinking about it more, and we see them coming here to the center to exercise classes," she said. "They can take just an hour for themselves and be with other people. It is important to have a time when they are not talking about the other person and what they do for the other person."

Some caregivers have enjoyed a journal/memoir class. "They like to write down what they are thinking about and it helps them sort through things," LaFauce said. Some seniors come to the center just to take a walk, sit by the fireplace with coffee, read a book,and enjoy time for themselves, being separate from the house.

For more information or to register, call Donna Ciappina at 781-934-5774, Ext. 5730, email her at DonnaCiappina@duxburycoa.com, or call Nancy LaFauce at 781-383-9112.