Because stupid things always happen on Clark Street, and stupid things tend to happen on or near me.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Anticipating BlogHer '13

I'm putting up this unflattering photo of me and my sister because it's AWESOME. Don't you agree? I thought so. I am secretly in the WORLD'S WORST PAIN because I threw my back out (my back that has two herniated disks and joint damage) in the shower of my fancy New York hotel room earlier in the day. I chose to blame this on Dorothy because she moved all of my shower goods to the far back corner of the shower and put all of hers right underneath the nozzle on the little tray. I had to blame SOMEONE. I mean, come ON. Also? I have this same awkward, close-mouthed smile in all of the photos
because for the last few years, my niece has been telling me how yellow
my teeth are. Good times. Dorothy looks perfect, but she's probably EXHAUSTED because she had been working all day long. But there we are at the BlogHer '12 Sparklecorn party anyway, rocking it together. Get down with your bad selves, sisters.

Right about this time of year, I start to get BlogHer Conference Fever. Last year, it built up to such a point that I had a few nervous meltdowns. I was SO excited go to New York. I was thrilled to pieces to finally meet whooshEr. And the conference itself made me bounce up and down on the couch for weeks in advance as I thought about seeing all of my wonderful bloggie friends in the Big Apple. WHEEEEE!!

This year, BlogHer '13 is happening in Chicago. I'm not quite as bouncy. Returning to my Concrete Jungle is always a bit of a challenge emotionally. However, I've conquered it before, and I'll conquer it again. Hanging behind me on the wall are three BlogHer Conference badges: Chicago '07, Chicago '09, and New York '12. Basically, it's a safe bet that BlogHer will end up in Chicago again at some point in the future. Each time I go, I grow. No harm, no foul.

This year, I came up with a GRAND PLAN to hang out with some people outside of the conference. I started making a mental list of all of the wonderful things I could do, completely forgetting how F*CKING HARD it is to go anywhere in Chicago in less than an hour.

I called my sister to confer. She reminded me how difficult it was to navigate myself over to see whooshEr in New York (which is much smaller spacewise than Chicago). I remembered waddling down the street to catch the subway with my slip hanging out of my dress (which I later threw away in the bathroom of a super fancy restaurant) and my back flaring. Seeing whooshEr was totally worth it, but I did wish I'd been on just a special trip to see her because I felt torn in a few directions. Back at the hotel, a really fun party was going on. And in general? BlogHer is exhausting. My cankles can only handle so much. I overdid myself.

I pulled up a map. I looked at where the conference is being held. McCormick Place. I've been there before back when I lived in Chicago. It's right at the bottom of downtown. People I want to see? They live FAR AWAY from there. I'm not even sure which hotel I'm staying at, but I know there will be shuttles between the hotel and the conference. So how exactly do I think I'm going to get from Point A to Point B to Point Y easily? While I'm going to sessions and parties and giggling in hotel rooms and putting up my weary cankles and having anxiety meltdowns? Yeah, not gonna happen.

*crickets*

Dorothy kindly reminded me that I tend to get overwhelmed easily in large crowds AND in hotel rooms AND at BlogHer. She suggested it might be a better idea to promise to see my friends at another time. Why put that kind of pressure on myself? Just because the cake is there, that doesn't mean I have to jump through 1,000 hoops and ride 4 trains to eat it. Yes? Yes. Thank you, Sissy.

I am having a sad about not seeing some people that I REALLY want to see, but then again, this means I will have to take another fun trip sometime, so that isn't a bad thing. It's nice to get out of Farmsville once in a while.

So back to BlogHer '13.

I'm going to see AWESOME BLOGGIE FRIENDS.
I'm going to GIGGLE WITH MY SISTER IN A HOTEL ROOM.
I'm going to ROADTRIP IT WITH MY SISTER LIKE WHEN WE WERE KIDS (after the Nightmare That Was Newark, we decided to drive, thank GAWD).
I'm going to LOAD A BAG WITH SWAG.
I'm going to DANCE LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING (because they aren't).
I'm going to BE OPENLY RIDICULOUS.
I'm going to LAUGH and probably CRY.

It's going to be GREAT!!

I have two months left to build up a sh*tload of anticipation. It's ON, people.

I am so excited, too! And don't worry about Little and her need to inform us all of our flaws. She tells me my outfit is bad almost every day and tells me my breath stinks EVERY MORNING. Eventually, people will criticize her and she'll figure it out.

since you're already traveling just to get to Chicago, why would it be too much to ask for your friends who live there to travel a shorter distance through their own city to meet you in your hotel room or at a nearby restaurant/cafe, if there is time?

I live in a different big city, and when I have friends come from out of town and they stay in a hotel 45 minutes by public transit from my apartment, I'd never dream of asking them to try to come visit me - I come to them. That's what friends do!

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Hey WHOOSHERS!

I suffer from pulsatile tinnitus, which is a whooshing sound in my left ear that goes along with my heartbeat. I've been searching for a cure since March, 2006. As of May, 2014, I now have PT in both ears. If you are here because of the whoosh, see the ear whooshing/pulsatile tinnitus label below.