"You will often find that the size of the bundle of papers is actually disproportionate to the size of the case itself," said TheCreep as he patronised a couple of the pupils who were listening politely.

"Shame that's not true in other areas, my love," said TheVamp as she passed by and tapped him on the head Benny Hill-style just to underline his shortened stature.

"What on earth are you talking about?" asked TheCreep in a voice which was pompous even for him.

"Oh, MrCreepyWeepy, you're so touchy these days. Not getting enough attention in the lurve department are we?"

"I can always count on you to lower the tone. Even when I'm teaching them a very valuable lesson."

"And what exactly was that lesson then CreepsyWeepsy? That 'small is beautiful', by any chance?"

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister practising at the English Bar, written by barrister and writer Tim Kevan. For more information and to read posts from the last few years visit babybarista.com.