Talk To Me

Everyone gives different answers to the question “what is the most important aspect in a relationship?” They say honesty, or loyalty or communication, this is pretty much the triangle of answers you’d get. Personally I side with the final answer. Communication. I say communication is very important based on personal experience really. I feel like if you just talk to me and communicate things that both honesty and loyalty fall into place fairly easy after that.

Some relationships fail in the communication area simply because one partner may be afraid that they’re asking “too much” or being “too picky”. Other times it’s because they have anxiety about telling their SO certain things, and so that person is not giving themselves a full run at the relationship, because they’re missing out on things that their partner may be perfectly okay with. Here’s an example.

So my girlfriend is really touchy feely relationship wise. When we first got together I didn’t really know and overly touchy feely isn’t my style (mostly just because I’m clingy about her presence. Like I don’t necessarily need to be touching her, but I like need to be around her ya feel me?) And one day she asked why we never cuddle unless she wraps around me. We talked about it, and holding her all the time is something I’m perfectly fine with, so I adjusted accordingly. Now her wants for certain in the relationship are being satisfied (at least to my knowledge they are). Ya see how this goes? Good.

Now everyone gather around. Lets discuss this some more. Now as much as I hate to use genders to specify certain things, women this one mainly pertains to you, as in my experience with my female friends this seems to be a problem that you have more so than the guys. So a lot of you don’t tell your SO things you want them to do. There’s a number of reasons, that I’ve heard. You feel like your asking too much, you’re scared they’ll leave you, you feel like they should just be able to KNOW and that you shouldn’t have to tell them. The list goes on. Lets handle these one at a time shall we? Okay so you feel like you’re asking too much? Well this is just my personal opinion but half the time, the things you want your SO to do or know or what have you, turn out to be pretty simple. It’s not often that they’re big things that can shake the earth. If your partner wants the relationship, it shouldn’t be much of a problem with them to do whatever item you’ve asked every now and again. And if it is? What did I say is important??? COMMUNICATION!

Talk about it, figure out why it’s such a big deal for them and figure out what the next steps for you guys will be and go from there. You’re scared of them leaving you??? Nah fuck that, if your simple request is too much for them and they’re ready to leave that quick? Drop they ass. Man, woman, gender queer, trans, non-binary, I don’t really care. They shouldn’t be ready to give up the relationship that fast if they really want you. You feel like they should just KNOW what it is you want without asking? I’m sorry to tell you fam, but nobody is a mind reader. Some people are good at reading body language so it might be easier for them to take a guess. But still boo. Cut them a little slack. We don’t live in a fantasy world with magic unfortunately.

Men! Yeah you not excused bruh. Slide yo way on over here. Stop being so damn stubborn! It’s 2k17. You know what your SO probably wants the most from you, especially if yours is a heterosexual relationship???? TALK ABOUT YOUR FRIGGIN FEELS! Like literally, you don’t have to cry on their shoulder and spill your life story, but damn….. Quit tryin to act so hard and tough. I guarantee you that simply admitting that you had a hard day and some shit got to you and talking to them about it would make them feel great! When one doesn’t talk about their feelings with their partner it can leave them feeling kinda cut off and distant from you man. Open up a bit. It’s okay. Ya boys who would judge you about that? Guess what….. They probably cry in their SO’s lap at night, so don’t feel bad kay?

Everybody no matter what your gender happens to be, or what type of relationship your in just talk to your partner okay? Say what you want and say what you don’t want. Open up and let them in. Be close. Let them lean on you and vise versa. Those who will stay will, and those who won’t, you can’t make them. Now go cuddle your cute little bean of a partner and tell them you adore them and their annoying ass snoring at night.