There are certain travel stories you hear about and instantly grow insanely jealous that you didn’t get the opportunity to experience them first-hand. If you recall I opted out of meeting my other travel companions in Moscow to fly through Istanbul to Dushanbe on Turkish Air. My main reason for doing so was to avoid the additional transit Russian visa fees and besides it was far out of the way. In the process of avoiding flying Russia’s friendly skies I apparently missed out on one of the wackiest flights of a lifetime. Reports from two parties confirm Tajik Air is somewhat of a party plane.

How-so? Well, for music you’ll be graced with the sounds of hundreds of cell phone ringtones as provided by your in-flight mobile phone DJ. Don’t count on sleeping. If you’re a pretty foreigner, do count on having your picture taken by the mobile phone DJ who has a built in camera on their phone. If you’re extra glamorous in their eyes you will also have your head patted during the flight. Just when things really start to shake up things will not only shift in the overhead bins, the overhead bins as well as the roof compartment will open. Please, no sudden moves.

The second report I received from a Nat Geo guy noted smoking on board was okay, beer guzzling and shirtless back massages were additionally “A-OK.” Did the flight attendants care? Nope. Was all this really real? How I would have loved to been a fly on the wall.