wherein i pointlessly share a true story and also reveal a little bit of how weird i am and why

18022010

Hop on. My magic carpet and I want to take you back in time… back to 1989… in Glendale, Arizona. As we hover over the intersection of 59th Avenue and Greenway, we see a large Ford pickup headed west. Flying in closer, we can hear a grandmother chiding her three toe-headed grandchildren, who are bickering about having to sit next to each other on the bench seat on the way to school.

“Quit yer bitchin’, put your seatbelt on and sit there! If you don’t put that seatbelt on ya’ll, the door will pop open and you will FALL OUT!”

The grandmother offers this as a threat, not something she’s really afraid will happen. The kids keep arguing.

Right then, another truck makes a quick left turn in front of them. As it veers into the left lane, the passenger door pops open and two young women tumble out of the truck and onto the pavement, rolling into the far right lane, stopping when their bodies hit the curb.

My friends, that was the exact moment I began questioning, began thinking there was more to this world, this universe, this cosmic energy– whatever you want to call it. Not God, because I never have believed in the Christian “God”, but… something.

A point? No.

A purpose? Eh, not really.

A mystical force watching over us all, a master of puppets? Not so much.

A universe, albeit it one with a twisted sense of humor, listening? Paying attention? Maybe.

Is my Grandma Shirley a witch of some sort, or is the universe listening? Maybe the old saying, “You get back what you put out” is true… But in this case, it was sent back to the wrong address– The unsuspecting young women sitting sans seatbelts in their brother’s pickup truck.

Perhaps it was just a coincidence — a really crazy coincidence– and I’ve built it up in my head to be this defining moment in my life where at six years old I was warned by the universe: