I'm an existential questioner that likes to discuss controversial topics, hang out with my animals, listen to the Joe Rogan Experience, and expand my mind.
Find me @bonniesein on twitter and instagram to see what I get up to outside of this blog.

why do people like me?

So I was writing this post. And then I lost all of my work half
way through. Fuck. Mother. Fuck. I feel like I could create a meme on myself
right now that would say - "works as a blog specialist... writes own blog
and loses all her work". Or something of that sort. But I’m not smart
enough to actually make a funny meme. So I’m just going to move on.

The other day I was working out at crossfit, and Josh locked me in
the gym because he had to go somewhere. Anyway, he trusted that I wouldn't burn
the place down. So I was just minding my own business doing some power cleans,
when all of a sudden this dude is standing at the door watching me. He was a
builder having a smoke on his break, and he literally was just staring through
the glass door being a creep. I even made eye contact with him, pulled a
"what the fuck?" kind of face, and he still didn't go away.
Eventually he walked off, but then a few minutes later he came back. And
brought another guy with him. THE FUCK? What is wrong with people? My creep
radar was going off the charts. And seriously, if you're staring at someone
through a glass window, wouldn't you at least try to be a little inconspicuous?
Guhhh.

I went and saw my Chinese medicine doctor the week after I got
really drunk with my parents. One of the first things he said to me was
"your liver's weak, have you been having excessive amounts of coffee or
tea?".

"No, that's all been normal.."
"Hmm.. what about alcohol?"

:-/

Oops. Why yes, yes I have. My poor liver. It can't handle how bad
ass I am. And by bad ass I mean a lightweight, because I didn't even drink that
much. Plus it was just cider. It wasn't even hard liquor. Ughh. Sometimes I
think that I'm actually really lame, and people just see past it because I'm
nice.

Oh and get this. After my appointment, I walked out onto the street
and this guy comes past and says, "have a good massage?" like a creep. Seriously? You're going to ask me
that? Mother of God. I hate people.

I'm riding my bike! And look at that, I'm not dead! I did almost
ride over a kid on my first day riding to work, but that was his fault not
mine. I don't have a bell on my bike and I'm not a fan of yelling at people so
that's a bit of a problem. I want a horn. Just for something different.
But I love my bike, it’s amazing. How stupid is traffic? You kind of feel like
an idiot driving around after you realise how much quicker and easier it is to
ride everywhere. Plus for most of my ride I can take the bike path so I don’t
even have to worry about cars for half the ride. Booyah!

I ate ridiculous amounts of various Asian noodle soups recently. Jonathon
and Rob were like “oh yeah, we’d like to see you eat all of that”. Suck it. I
totally ate the whole bowl, broth and all. Jonathon was like, “yeah I’m
actually pretty impressed…” I don’t know what it is with me and Asian soups, but
I manage to eat it all. Every time. Without fail. It’s like I channel my Asian
in me, and my stomach grows twice the size and my eyes go all squinty. Just
kidding guys. Don’t freak out. I’m not racist. Apart form Asians and Americans
but that’s because I am both of those things so it’s okay. Right? I love it how
I just called Americans a race. That right there, is such an American thing to
say.

We’ve been having this conversation recently that’s been causing
quite a stir in our friendship community. If you had to pick three types of
protein to be stuck on an island with, what would it be? Yes, I’m aware this
question doesn’t really make sense. But just go with it. My top three are pork,
duck and crab. My third one is always changing, but right now it’s crab. I
think they’re pretty good choices. Fish could possibly be in there because I
love Japanese food, but on a whole, crab is pretty freaking awesome. And pork,
well, it comes in so many forms how could that not be in there? And duck is
amazing all the time no matter what. Lindsay and Jonathon both thought my
choice of duck was a bit silly. But that’s because they’re prejudice to
poultry. Both of them had horrible experiences with quail as kids. This, I find
hilarious. They both recalled stories of trauma and disgust when it came to the
eating of quail. Lindsay’s involved a lady with one leg who was dating a family
member named Wally, it all was kind of a disaster to begin with really. Anyway,
from that point on she concluded, “fuck quail”. Jonathon’s was much more
traumatic, basically it involved him having to kill a quail because his Dad
told him he had to, and then he made him pluck the bird and gut it. Jonathon
was about 6 at the time. I think it kind of scarred him for life. Their hate
for quail has brought them closer together as a couple though. So that’s nice.

We spent the night over at my parents’ place on the weekend with
Linds and Jon. They made Mexican food. It was a fiesta of the taste buds. We
were all just sitting out on the deck drinking and talking, when Mum decides to
whip out a box of stuff sort of dedicated to my achievements. This was in
response to my last post writing about the participation ribbons I received in
school. Well she thought it would be appropriate to share all the blue ribbons
I won at school too. You’d think I’d remember some of them, but apparently they
weren’t important enough memories. My favourite one was for coming first in
cross-country. That is hilarious to me because I suck at running. I need to
discover that runner again, delve deep into my childhood and unleash the 12
year old from within.

That sounds really creepy.

Anywho. The box also had some pictures of me acting from my
theatre studies plays and performing in our musicals. And that’s when shit got
real. Mum and Dad were like “did you know Bonnie performed?” No. No they did
not. And that’s when they brought out the DVDs of my old high school musicals.

Fuck. My. Life.

It was kind of ridiculous. And everyone enjoyed it way too much.
It felt like it was too stereotypical of a parent thing to do to actually be
happening. But it did. And now I’ve had musical songs stuck in my head since
then. Awesome.

Dad with his mouth full. Classic eating shot.

I did the WOD 13.3 on Friday. Holy balls it was terrible. 150 wall
balls, 90 double unders and 30 muscle ups in 12 minutes. I managed to do the
150 wall balls and that was it. It was horrible. After I finished, I sort of
couldn’t breathe, and then I went outside and sat on the curb. And then I kind
of sobbed for a few seconds. Like actually cried from the work out. Apart from
being physically exhausted, mentally I was a mess. It was this battle the whole
time in my head, because wall balls are my most hated movement ever. So, that
was embarrassing. Luckily I did it in private. But now I’ve written down so I
guess it’s not private anymore! So that was interesting. I’ve never cried after
a work out I don’t think? Or have I? Surely not. I’ve almost cried during, and
I’ve cried from being injured. But now I feel like I need to make wall balls my
bitch. Because really, a ball made me cry. That’s depressing.

You know what really annoys me? When I get home from the
supermarket and I try to carry 6 bags of groceries into the house so I only
need to make one trip. But in doing so, I make things like 10 times more
difficult. And I have to awkwardly unlock the door, then shimmy my way in and
in the process my handbag strap gets stuck on the door handle. My handbag
getting caught on the door just makes me want to kill everyone. So then I have
to reverse until it unhooks all frustrated, close the door, waddle my way up
the stairs and then finally place all the shopping on the floor. And Rob’s just
sitting there on the couch, and says, “need any help?” Every time.

:-/

It’s actually really amusing now writing it down. And I make it
out like Rob is lazy, which he totally is. I mean isn’t. Uh. So awkward right
now. But seriously, Rob cleans everything. He’s a clean freak. He complains
about strands of hair that I leave on the ground. Like I purposely shed my hair
in the first place. If I collected all the hair that I leave around the house I
think I could make a wig out of it. Or at least a very convincing bun. Or some
seedy toupee thing. How ridiculous are toupees? And they’re always so bad. Why?
I should go into the toupee making business. I’m sure there’s a niche in the
market for it… Not really. That’s a terrible idea.

Sometimes I do this weird thing where I think about what my
funeral play list would be. Or on happier days what my wedding play list would
be. Just kidding. My funeral would be awesome. But yeah. I don’t know why, but
I’ll just be like “yeah, Tom Petty would totally be on my wedding play list.”
Also ‘Dancing in the Moonlight’. And Bruce Springsteen. And Fleetwood Mac. And
then I’d just throw in some Run-D.M.C. to mix things up a bit. You know how it is.
I don’t even know if I want to get married though. One of my friends said she
was contemplating getting married so she could get given a vitamix as a wedding
present. Those things are like $900. Smart move. I think I would want a “we’re
in a committed long term relationship and we want everyone to celebrate with
us!” kind of party. That would be bad ass. And we could have a cake. And it
could be a peanut butter and chocolate cake. Because we do what we want at our
party. I don’t even care about the party anymore, I just want cake. Can you
tell I’ve been thinking about cake a lot? It’s taking over my life. I need to
bake some paleo dessert pronto. But my oven is kind of a smoke machine at the
moment and I’m scared to use it. It’s my birthday soon. I’ve asked Rob to make
me this cake.

I don’t even care if it turns out like this.

I’m going to go eat something now. And watch Human Planet. I’m so
obsessed with it. Tonight’s episode is on Cities Surviving the Urban
Jungle. It’s what I look forward to when I come home from work. I have a cool
life.

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about me

I'm Bonnie. A 25 year old Melbourne based writer, listener of the Joe Rogan Experience, lover of adventure, and enjoyer of all things food related. I like to sweat by doing yoga, bjj or crossfit style workouts. But I also like to play computer games for 8 hours straight (because balance). Back in 2012 I broke my neck and started this blog.