For Parting Couples Sharing Pets

Nationally Acclaimed

38 Yrs. Mediation Experience

1. First of all take care of yourselves—physically and
emotionally. Stress makes us vulnerable to illness, and break-ups can be just
as stressful as a death in the family or losing a job. It is good to have someone to talk to in times like this. Friends are indeed good medicine.

If you are not eating enough, eating too much, not sleeping enough, sleeping too much, depressed, or experiencing anything else making your life unusually un-happy, you are having normal reactions to heavy stress. What's important is to find the tools to cope with that stress, and getting help that you are comfortable with is an effective way to obtain those tools. For your sake and the sake of your animal(s),

do your best to keep yourself healthy.

2. Keep your animals' best interests in mind. Make
an effort to protect them from a toxic environment created by anger, resentment and sadness. Animals absorb our feelings
like sponges and get stressed when we do. They often stop
eating and become lethargic when caught in the middle of a custody battle,. Don't
let them be pawns in an emotionally charged tug of war. Please don't fight in
their presence or where they can hear you.

3. If communication is too difficult (and that's normal), find a
mediator to help you find a resolution that will be best for both of you and
your pet. Find a mediator you both trust. Make sure
s/he respects animals and understands the bond between them and the people who
love them. It’s not a good sign if a prospective mediator doesn't bother to ask what your
pet’s name is.

4. Educate yourself. Knowledge about this situation will empower you by helping you both practically and emotionally. For this I recommend the following books:

We Can’t Stay Together for the DOGS, Doing What’s Best for Your Dog When Your
Relationship Breaks Up, by Jennifer Keene should be required reading for anyone going through this situation. Keene wrote this book from her personal
experience and packed it with a lot helpful information on practically every
aspect of pet custody. Her section on mediation is excellent.