My Mind, My Thoughts, Ms Lissa!

Rock Bottom

People find depression when seeking happiness. It is a timely journey which embarks on a lot of questions with disappointing answers. That is the reality. It is difficult to find someone who claims they have found happiness and; never felt pain, never felt like happiness was as far away from them as possible, never took part in long term activity which they did not enjoy, using vices as a distraction from the source which can drain all energy from you, life, the list is endless. I believe it is a necessity.

It is part of the pursuit of happiness. My theory is this; how am I to know true happiness when I find it, if I have never experienced dire straits? With what would I have to compare it to? How would I be able to appreciate it?

Hitting rock bottom is a very humbling experience. To feel as though you have nothing would leave you feeling inadequate. I am referring mostly to the mental state, not necessarily referring to material belongings or money as these are not definitive indicators of happiness, more of a mind state which has been instilled over the years for control. Once you have hit an all time low any glimmer of hope to rescue you out of the pit, becomes magnified as it, seems like the only way out. It becomes very significant in regards to your daily life. It becomes valued. Appreciated.

The times at which I personally feel I learnt the most lessons, in regards to my character and personality, was when I was at my most vulnerable. When I was doubting myself. When I was questioning my purpose. Yes, we all have flaws but there has to be a point where you embrace them, or you will stay in that pit. There has to be a point where you say despite all of this self doubt I am the only person with the power to stop me. I am the only person who holds enough power to put an end to my pursuit of happiness. I am the only person who can subject myself to a life of misery. On the opposite side of the spectrum, happiness is in reach, it is attainable as you are the only one who is capable of preventing it.

Hitting rock bottom presents how much strength a person has within. To endure emotional torment and be able to find a positive outlook after, is a gift. Our worst experiences shape our decisions. By this I mean that the things we go through determine our perception of life. Someone who has experienced infidelity may develop trust issues. To open your mind and tackle the psychological issues is a mental battle. It is a building exercise. Having to reconstruct your way of thinking.