30 Days till Christmas

This morning I realized that it is 30 days till the craziness would kick.

Ok, I’m not much of a festivity person on the whole, but I thought I have to get ready for this. Toughen up as people say. Because after Christmas I have a Bachelorette party and a wedding to attend. My goal is to eat clean (no chocolate, peanut butter and alcohol involved) and to put some muscle on my bones. So in order to be accountable I decided to post my workouts and menus here.

And then I thought it would be stupid as my readers (I suppose) have some issues considering anything body considerate.

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31 thoughts on “30 Days till Christmas”

I get the eating clean if your trying to build muscle. So no chocolate and alcohol makes sense but you need protein so peanut butter doesn’t. I mean not in large amounts but some how I don’t think you are talking about a weight lifter’s diet?

Oh, I do talk about weight lifter’s diet. I do the weight lifter’s diet. I consume the amounts of chicken I’m scared to admit 😀 It’s just not so clean at the moment… My consideration is sharing all of this here, as I understand it may be triggering for someone.

True you have readers that may be influenced in a not so healthy direction. The problem with a weight lifter’s diet when they are cycling to build muscle is it is so lop sided and not enough plant based. Although I have read some about vegetarian weight lifters, still a lot of controversy over whether it has enough nutrients. And it is so boring to eat all that protein, a lot of eating with so little variety!

Oh, my lovely. I guess I should be posting some of my personal stuff, for everyone to see that weight lifting and the diet (which is not strict and boring) may be fun and pleasurable. I’d never force myself into any extremeness – love myself too much and I’m lazy 😀

I don’t do grains or sugar, Fi. Ok, so I have some cake occasionally, but not daily – so my diet is and I’m guessing won’t ever be balanced enough as on the paper. It just makes me full, calm and satisfied. Though nut butters are still triggering.

I don’t think you have to do grains or sugar to have balance. I think we all have different bodies that cope better with different things. As long as you get enough nutrients and energy for your body to work well and to function, that’s what is important. And listening to your body and treating it well – that’s something we can’t do enough of and is far better than trying to force it to adapt to a diet that’s prescribed for millions. We aren’t the same as millions. I hope some day nut butters aren’t triggering for you and you can enjoy them again xx

I do my best, sweetie, and I’m so proud of my progress. When I quit purging the only things I could keep down were tomatoes, black olives, some nuts, goat cheese. Now I can have some cake (with real flour and sugar!!!)and not freak out about that. That is recovery. That is what I meant to share.

it’s freaking me out how fast Christmas has come up! I don’t like the holiday season because there is so much that takes away from the whole meaning, and it’s also when the loneliest of us are the most alone and isolated as a rule.

I think this is an opportunity for you to show readers that you don’t have to be fanatical or go on crazy fad diets to go to a wedding – they do more harm than good. It would be awesome to show us more nice food, REAL food like what you have pictured, food that makes your body happy and your mind happy and your tastebuds happy too.

Also remember, the wedding is your friend’s special day, and she wants you there because she loves YOU. You ARE beautiful, and you don’t have to change yourself in any way for a wedding.

It’s my brother-in-law’s wedding (if I could cal him so, as I’m not married and free as a bird from any bounds). And I won’t be caring so much on my looks as long as I have something amazing to wear. 😀
And I guess you are right on doing some post on the diet (which is not perfect or even great, but I’m trying) without going overboard with details. Ex bulimics can eat good, not overexercise and stay in shape (well kind of… hehehe)

So am I! It’s taken a bit of time to weed out the well… WEEDS, but it’s wonderful to have genuine friends like you and our other blogging buddies who are sharing a journey very much like our own, and yet so different. I know my world has gotten a lot bigger AND smaller! If that makes sense. Truly blessed to know you 🙂 xx

I love the feeling in my body when I eat clean. Perhaps you could make your own peanut butter though, if you love it? Peanuts are not inherently bad for you – they contain good fats and protein (sadly, they are still on my list of fear foods so you’ve no reason to listen to me! 🙂 ) I think it’s good to remember that the “holidays” are just another day. There is no reason to feel overwhelmed or to pig out (I am reminding myself of all this!)

Like you, I often wonder if it’s good to post about food and workouts, so I don’t – because I don’t want to trigger any sensitive readers… Now that I’m in a healthier place, I also think that it might be beneficial to post some of my food – but leave out details like calories. I’m starting to think it might be helpful to show that you can eat healthfully, deliciously and exercise non-compulsively after an eating disorder. People may still consider my food to be “not enough” (although my dietitian is comfortable with it) and my exercise to be excessive (at least one hour per day but quite often two) but I don’t want anyone to feel like they need to be competitive with it so up until now, I’ve refrained.

Perhaps you could make the posts password protected? I don’t know … it’s a really difficult decision. I would like to know what you eat! If only, to give me some more ideas.

I know that no matter what you decide, it will be the right thing for you. Much love. xo.

Thank you so much, for this response, Nataly.
With all these food and workout posts – well, you see you’ve already trigged me: exercising daily – when I do 3-4 times a week cardio excluded – bad, lazy me – whereas I should be happy, for you because it works for you and for me – enjoying some time out of the gym. But No, the comparison has to overhaul all of it. Also eating or not eating specific foods… Because I DON’T – there would be no posts grains or sugar included… Yeah, I see nothing good in here. But on the other hand what do people like us eat? What is that post ed life is? Being in peace with food is huge for me, so I guess I should be sharing at least the glimpse of that… ???

Maybe there is a way to share our own version of a healthy life without triggering people?? I’m so sorry! I just love to get outside and walk and walk, which is how I end up spending so much time “exercising” – whereas I don’t go to the gym at all because it’s unhealthy for me and triggering. Instead I just like to walk in the sunshine listening to music or do yoga at home! There must be a way for us to talk about what our own version of health looks like…. in the same way that people come in all shapes and sizes, so too do healthy lifestyles after eating disorders, yes? I’d like to see a glimpse of what a healthy life means to you….

Oh, don’t be sorry, sweetie! Walking and yoga are great! I even envy you. When I used to live in the city I never used my car. I was walking or riding my bike. Now that I’m in suburbs – I ALWAYS drive. So I have nothing but the gym left. And it’s the boy one, as looking at hundred of skinny legs overusing the treadmills is not for me either.
And I don’t know what is healthy, Nataly. I really don’t. I guess feeling calm and relaxed around food and some movement is close to that?..
I promise to share my deeds at least a bit of it 😉
Have a great Monday, love!

You do a really good job of showing how your mind works around the eating disorder. And you show what it is really like to have moved beyond the eating disordered behaviors in a healthy direction. So it could be really helpful to others to hear how you make your choices about food AFTER the eating disorder behaviors have stopped. (ie. active bulimia).

Be aware of your motives (in what you share on your blog) and trust your heart. I’ve never seen you share anything that would hurt anyone. It does seem like an edgy area….’clean’ eating, the 30 days….a big event coming up and how you look for it….even after the eating disorder these things still exist in our lives. How do you deal with it without relapsing?

Another idea: before you post about this topic, share what you write privately with someone you trust, who knows you well and get their input. Even the wisest people seek feedback from others they trust.

Dear, Gel, if I only knew how to do all of this as you say: not triggering or harming anyone, or not being attacked for my decisions and choices. I think I fear the latter more than some comparison or completion considering my preferences. So yeah, the topic is very slippery. Still considering it.
I hope you are doing well. Miss your wisdom a lot.
xo

I completely get the idea of wanting a way to hold yourself accountable. Do what feels right for you. If writing down your exercises and menus helps you, then do it. This blog is here for you to use it as YOU need, and if that is what you need then go for it. Maybe it is because I don’t have food triggers when I see what other people eat, so I know personally it wouldn’t affect me at all, but I also know other people are not like me.

I will be behind you no matter what you write. If you don’t want to write specifics, maybe you can talk about how you are feeling with your diet, frustrations, kind of like the peanut butter blog you posted previously. Be responsible to yourself before anyone else.

I will be with you on the journey of eating clean(er) in the next month, so if nothing else you will see my struggles on my blog.

Oh, yes, Liz – eating clean(er)!!! I eat clean all year round. Ok, now two years round without purging, though some binging occurs from time to time (those dam nuts and nut butters) And I progress from having six foods in my diet to (almost) calmness with everything there is. I’m really proud, though my diet is anywhere from perfect. And sharing things here I’d make myself a target as people fast to judge. So that’s my main issue.
And you go, girl. You are doing amazing!

I agree with Gel. I think this is your blog, and you can do whatever you wish with it. It you want to post about diets/exercise, than that is your right.

I do think, however, it sounds edgy. Why do you need to eat ‘clean’? What is not ‘clean’ about peanutbutter and chocolate? You don’t have to live off of it, but why would you not have any at all? You don’t need to diet dearest Greta, there’s no reason for you to lose an inch or pound. If you want to exercise because you want to build muscle or stamina, than you should. But why do it because of the ‘diet’-motive? And why do you need to do it before the holidays/wedding? What makes you think your friend will appreciate your attendence to her wedding more if you work out and diet for a month first?

But again, this is your blog. I think your fab and Ill follow you nonetheless. Though, honestly, I would skip the diet talk. I simply don’t read it because it doesn’t interest me. I’d prefer you’d elaborate on your holiday meals, and mostly, your holiday outfits and bachelorette/wedding outfits!! 😉

My precious Sooz – you are so right. On everything. Especially on my blog being my blog; but it being public I should consider not going crazy here. And I’m not into losing weight, hun. I’m ok with bigger me as it allows me to eat more avoiding binging. I’m not 20 anyways. I won’t ever look like one of the models (not that I deny wanting that) And I’m a lazy ass so you’ll never hear me doing hours of cardio or even 20 minutes, or any… as I usually cheat on my gym with books or coffee. And that is not ok.
So I’ll be dragging myself into gym next month and avoiding unnecessary snacking – which I do a lot, but I’m still doubting sharing (any/some of)it. 😉

I really love what Gel said. It’s a walk on the edge of course, but you have a pure heart and your mind is health-oriented. Posting about your eats of course is a potential trigger, but it can also be an inspirational example. You’ll decide wisely. 🙂

Your sincerity and kindness always make my heart melt, Kath.
I hope not to be judged strictly as I’m still learning about many things, nutrition included. But I feel content enough to speak about it openly now. We’ll see how it goes. I hope you are right and I’ll decide wisely.

I’m Greta. I live in a small country in Europe. I am recovering from an eating disorder. But this blog is not only about that. It’s a cozy corner of my little life, full of passions for fashion, food, books and movies. Oh, and coffee... Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.

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DISCLAIMER

I am NOT a Registered Dietician, psychiatrist, specialist of eating disorders, personal trainer, or a certified fitness instructor. Everything I post is from what I have learned on my own and what works best for me.