Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Because of inability to leave our child in daycare, we decided to cut back my husband's work time so we can take turns taking care of our baby. It happened just last month when my mother who usually baby sat for us 2 days a week (or more at times) went back to the Philippines.

Okay, my mother is only gone for 6 weeks but we did not like any alternative childcare options we currently have while waiting for her to come back. Everyone tried to assist us in finding solution. My boss. Co-workers. I even visited a daycare closed to our home. But we just cannot do it.

I could have quit my job and be a full-time mother. The reality is we make more money with our combine part-time incomes than with his lone full-time income. I make more money than my husband. He could have quit and be a full-time parent. But my work is demanding of time. For my sanity's sake (and every one's), I could only take part-time of my job for now.

So, we decided that we will take turns taking care of Benji. It is scary because this is out of the norm. We are far from rich. Our future chance to return to full-time employment is questionable as newer graduates are readily available to fill the void.

Many people don't understand why we're kind of over-protective. My husband and I have different but very significant reasons. His reason is that we'd been through hell and back to have this baby. That made it more difficult for him to let go. Mine is sadder than his -- child abuse. I was abused by a trusted caretaker. I am aware that day cares screen their staff and history of child abuse in daycare is probably nil or really small. But I am paranoid.

I know someday we have to let go. We're aware that we cannot sustain a comfortable lifestyle if we continue this path. We talked about waiting until the baby can talk or when he starts school. It will come eventually. For now, though, we are at peace with this set up.