I prefer to go on a solo sneaking mission and work from within the friendzone. From there I can get a better feel for what kind of person I am dealing with. As long as they aren't a terrible excuse of a human being I stick around even if I lose interest. Though interest or not I am no puppet.

If I am alerted to any red flags I might just disappear...

Well, as long as you don't cry about it as if you're being treated like Cinderella, then all's good, I guess. The only thing that irks me is when people play some kind of pitiful victim role and put the blame on others instead of owning up to the fact that they're just idiots.

No one ever seems to want to admit their own shortcomings but to jump and assign blame and play out the victim drama only prove their own unworthiness/inferiority. The tendency seems to be that hardly anyone is willing to take a look at themselves and ask "who are you?"... how can you ever hope to improve if you refuse see the reality of self.

I especially don't understand those that get rejected and aren't willing to be friends. If you are getting used go ahead and end it there but why deny a real friendship? You never know what the future holds and often people underestimate the connections, the windows, to new people...

As far as the comment about the friendzone itself being a red flag that depends on how you define it. For me it would be a situation where there are two friends with one having a one-sided attraction for the other. I am an open minded person who really does believe in a never say never approach and if I quarantine someone off into the friendzone I am very clear at what I am looking for and why I think they still have a chance. I don't use anyone and I am willing to assist and ask for assistance on the same level as any normal friends.

I have been sorta on the other side of that (but I am not interested so not really) where someone tried to use me but I don't bend to people's will easily.

In short: If I say I look to you as a friend then that is my honest intent but I won't shut out the possibility of something more because understanding and trust can still be developed as well as personal improvements-- people do change if they work hard at it.

Honestly friend zoning is one of those things where I just nip it in the butt and try to move. Which I do. But it ain't easy. But it's not like u can force the love out of ppl so best way to move on and find another shoe that fits.

hehe the friend zone ain't so bad. you could be in the baby daddy zone paying 1/2 your gross income in child support for the next 21 years and paying for the health insurance for the next 28 years. count ur blessings and gt a vacetomy lmao.

Honestly friend zoning is one of those things where I just nip it in the butt and try to move. Which I do. But it ain't easy. But it's not like u can force the love out of ppl so best way to move on and find another shoe that fits.

It is SO hard to take anything you say seriously with Mama Junes' photo...

I've seen many threads on the same topic, and seen enough responses in those threads to sort of expect what's being said -- I've only read OP's response, so please excuse any redundancy. This isn't a response to him; it's just my general thoughts on the friend-zone.

The first and foremost thing that needs to be stated is this: The "Lover-zone" (I'll call it) is a subset of the Friend-zone. Don't forget that. Every person that can reasonably say that they have a lover is in the friend-zone. It's important to recognize that having the person as a friend is a necessary condition for thinking of them as anything more than a sex-buddy.

Secondly, the only way you can complain about the friend-zone is if you don't want a friend. If that's the case, then you don't have any business being their lover anyway -- go find a sex buddy. You'll both be much happier. If, however, you do want a friend, then I can say that it is far, far, far worse to be in the "sex-only-zone" when you want a lover. Of course I can't speak for everyone, but some of the worst feelings I've ever had were when I wanted something more than sex from someone, and they couldn't think of me as a friend in any sort of valuable sense of the word. Believe me when I say that, at the time, one can only think "Let her think of me as sexually repugnant -- let me lose everything that she values in me as a sex partner -- if only she will think of me as a friend." It flat out SUCKS to be denied the friend zone, when all your desire is her friendship. My worst enemies don't deserve it.

Lastly, if you are complaining about the friend-zone, consider this: You were unable to make yourself sexually attractive to him/her. It may be mental, physical, emotional -- a plethora of reasons -- but you can still maintain a friendship. A friendship which, by the way, you complain of. In what way are you even in the friend-zone? If the friendship is important to you, it's your duty to maintain it FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. And as I've said, if the friendship isn't important to you, then you've no business as his/her lover anyway. Get over it. You're unattractive as a sexual partner, and apparently incompetent as a life partner. In any case, you'd have been a complete failure as a lover, in which case you ought to find someone for whom you can reasonably call yourself a competent lover. The friend-zone is an absolute necessity, and I would instantly trade all the sex in the world to keep the friend-zone around (Luckily I can have both though, which is nice).

_________________

I'll make one last comment for accuracy. I'd guess that, usually, the term "friend-zone" is a bit of a bastardization of the term "friend." Often, the people "in the friend-zone" cannot, in any sense that I find valuable, call themselves friends. If that's the case, fuck it. Don't stick around the person who's denied you, and if you're the denier, recognize that ya'll are probably not friends anyway.

If the two of you are legitimately friends, then I can only say that sex isn't a necessary part of the relationship -- get over it.

I've seen many threads on the same topic, and seen enough responses in those threads to sort of expect what's being said -- I've only read OP's response, so please excuse any redundancy. This isn't a response to him; it's just my general thoughts on the friend-zone.

The first and foremost thing that needs to be stated is this: The "Lover-zone" (I'll call it) is a subset of the Friend-zone.Don't forget that. Every person that can reasonably say that they have a lover is in the friend-zone. It's important to recognize that having the person as a friend is a necessary condition for thinking of them as anything more than a sex-buddy.

Secondly, the only way you can complain about the friend-zone is if you don't want a friend. If that's the case, then you don't have any business being their lover anyway -- go find a sex buddy. You'll both be much happier. If, however, you do want a friend, then I can say that it is far, far, far worse to be in the "sex-only-zone" when you want a lover. Of course I can't speak for everyone, but some of the worst feelings I've ever had were when I wanted something more than sex from someone, and they couldn't think of me as a friend in any sort of valuable sense of the word. Believe me when I say that, at the time, one can only think "Let her think of me as sexually repugnant -- let me lose everything that she values in me as a sex partner -- if only she will think of me as a friend." It flat out SUCKS to be denied the friend zone, when all your desire is her friendship. My worst enemies don't deserve it.

Lastly, if you are complaining about the friend-zone, consider this: You were unable to make yourself sexually attractive to him/her. It may be mental, physical, emotional -- a plethora of reasons -- but you can still maintain a friendship. A friendship which, by the way, you complain of. In what way are you even in the friend-zone? If the friendship is important to you, it's your duty to maintain it FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. And as I've said, if the friendship isn't important to you, then you've no business as his/her lover anyway. Get over it. You're unattractive as a sexual partner, and apparently incompetent as a life partner. In any case, you'd have been a complete failure as a lover, in which case you ought to find someone for whom you can reasonably call yourself a competent lover. The friend-zone is an absolute necessity, and I would instantly trade all the sex in the world to keep the friend-zone around (Luckily I can have both though, which is nice).

_________________

I'll make one last comment for accuracy. I'd guess that, usually, the term "friend-zone" is a bit of a bastardization of the term "friend." Often, the people "in the friend-zone" cannot, in any sense that I find valuable, call themselves friends. If that's the case, fuck it. Don't stick around the person who's denied you, and if you're the denier, recognize that ya'll are probably not friends anyway.

If the two of you are legitimately friends, then I can only say that sex isn't a necessary part of the relationship -- get over it.

Beautifully said, friend. Especially the bold. You're brilliant. My words were so generic and over used that I just deleted it. The parts I bolded were exceptionally amazing. I would like to think my younger self was so clever at 23, haha. I always tell people that they weren't being honest about being friends and you took it to the next level. While the post doesn't necessarily help me, it certainly made my day. To think that there was someone out there that can write with such logic.

I'll just play off the quoted post because he said what I wanted to, just way better. Honestly, friendship is hard to find. I have let "friends" (really acquaintances imo, see:) because there was no emotional connection. Real friendship, the type where you feel support when you're in need or give your support, because you're kind and not because you have other expectations, is very fulfilling. Sadly, I think the original post was written in a way where "people that think this" are already lost. I'd argue he is misguided though.

And Severticas, spoken like someone who truly has no qualms with using people.

but hey, i haven't had the opportunity to put someone in the friend zone. my attitude towards them would be going straight to '"irritated'' so no chance in hell they'd stick around. you'd most likely put someone (you probably have no idea likes you) in the friend zone since obviously you'll be judged by how awesome you are.

OP, your post is too long and I don't have read fully however I regard that really don't matter because I have see so many people complaining about the friendzone nosense so many times in these same forums that I doubt that you have said something new for me.

So in short, just move on and stop pretending to be a friend if the woman you like don't reciprocate your feelings. Nobody is obigated to do that and it is ulikely that she change her mind if you try hard. Also, if you really think that you are being manipulated then wiht more reason move on and be thakful you aren't her boyfriend, just saying...