April is National Financial Capabilty Month: For Americans Not the FedGov

Our dear leader that resides in the glorious District of Columbia has issued a proclamation concerning the month of April:

Official photographic portrait of US President Barack Obama (born 4 August 1961; assumed office 20 January 2009) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

All Americans deserve the chance to turn their hard work into a decent living for their families and a bright future for their children. Seizing that opportunity takes more than drive and initiative — it also requires smart financial planning. During National Financial Capability Month, we recommit to empowering individuals and families with the knowledge and tools they need to get ahead in today’s economy.

Listen to our dear leader he knows what he’s talking about look at the financial success of our glorious country basking in deficits numbering in the trillions, by spending more money than his 43 predecessors. The great one wishes to empower his subjects by encouraging each citizen to use his credit with the evil banks, charging their cards to the maximum balance and then when we can no longer afford our debts, cause the evil banks destruction allowing the savior to take control and throw the evil bankers in jail. Don’t worry comrades the leader has more to say!

My Administration is dedicated to helping people make sound decisions in the marketplace. Last year, we partnered with businesses and community leaders to roll out new public and private commitments to increasing financial literacy. We released a new financial capability toolkit to help schools and employers as they launch their own initiatives. And with our College Scorecard and Financial Aid Shopping Sheet, we are working to give families clear, transparent information on college costs so they can make good choices when they invest in higher education. Together, we can prepare young people to tackle financial challenges — from learning how to budget responsibly to saving for college, starting a business, or opening a retirement account.

Our glorious leader has made it his policy to see that each and every one of the unwashed masses has the ability to succeed in the evil capitalist marketplace. He will raise taxes on the evil rich and give it to the hard-working workers. He has previously helped the low by giving out abacuses, and giving out large amounts money to record numbers of the proletariat who can longer find work in our excellent state-run and regulated industries. Our leader has also promised to find ways to send your children to places of higher learning where they can be properly indoctrinated to be excellent workers for the state and to not question the infallible knowledge and wisdom of our esteemed leadership in Washington. These children will be the pillars that the state shall be built on in the coming years, and with the guidance of our great leader this all can be made possible. Don’t worry comrades there’s more:

We also know that too many families are living paycheck-to-paycheck, unable to take advantage of tools that would help them plan for a middle class life. That is why we must build ladders of opportunity for everyone willing to climb them — from a fair minimum wage that lifts working Americans out of poverty to high-quality preschool and early education that gets every child on the right track early. These reforms would encourage the kind of broad-based economic growth that gives everyone a better chance to secure their financial future.

Our great leader also knows there are those that suffer in our glorious socialist state. No worries comrades! He will increase your pay at the local collective farm, when that farm can no longer afford that wage DO NOT WORRY! The state will take control of your farms and pay you for you work. We will also begin to teach children at a very young age that the state will take care of them and nurture until they give their lives to the state through years of work or a glorious death in a far away battlefield. Our leader with now close with the following words:

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim April 2013 as National Financial Capability Month. I call upon all Americans to observe this month with programs and activities to improve their understanding of financial principles and practices.

This is the best part comrades! Our leader has used both his name and a personal pronoun! He is reaffirming his glory and power! He should all bow down and worship the infinite wisdom and laud our great leader and join him in glorious socialist activities of calling the kettles and pots black, whatever that means!