I realize that there is nothing of great value recorded herein but in a moment of reflection it dawned on me that perhaps there may be a reason someday down the road where I might want to share these crazy scribblings with a trusted loved family member. (once they are of age of course)

This game has too much to offer by way of content and wonderful company to leave on a sudden impulse.
I realize that now.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Local authorities, responding to a tip from an unknown female were summoned to the site of an unauthorized BIOMASSING yesterday afternoon.

The distraught woman, who has yet to be identified was taken to the local magistrates office for interrogation and subsequently released.

"He is dead. He is dead!!" She was heard to wail as she was led away by system officials.

A concorde spokesperson speaking anonymously has verified that the woman was a member of the custodial crew and discovered the grisly remains in the chamber while cleaning the premises.

The pilot has been identified through DNA testing as CRAKE GATERAU, a member of the SCREAMING HAYABUSA (SKRMR) corporation, a well known and controversial pirate entity led by Miura Bull.

Gaterau was a celebrated PvP practitioner who had in recent times propelled himself into the top 10 of the BattleClinic rankings.

The death has been ruled a suicide.
This determination is based on the contents of a blog journal entry that was discovered in Gaterau's quarters, however, questions remain and local law enforcement has indicated that there is a possibility that charges may be brought against several individuals of interest.

Documentation found at Gatereu's quarters has also raised suspicions of workplace abuses that may have precipitated the unfortunate incident.

"What we found was disturbing and frankly, Miura Bull has a sordid history of these type of indiscretions and it does not surprise me that his policies have led to this tragedy", said lieutenant Marcos Mendoza Lopez..

"We have been monitoring the situation in SKRMR for quite some time and I am sorry that this happened before we could bring charges" added Lopez.!

"This investigation is not over. Not by a long shot.", whispered Lopez as he gingerly collected the remains in a small cup.
Details regarding memorial services for the deceased have not been released.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------MY OWN BRIEF COMMENTS:

The newspaper account of the incident has broken my heart.
I ask your indulgence and patience as you work your way through this emotional and disjointed diatribe.

Well, it has finally happened.
The last posting above, which I have taken the liberty of linking here from his journal speaks for itself.

As I predicted in an earlier writing, the rigors and unrelenting demands of the SCREAMING HAYABUSA, kill at all cost, we must rule the Battleclinic rankings bloodlust culture, a culture pushed with implacable cruelty to its most tragic consequences by a ruthless CEO who appears woefully oblivious to its manifestations and spirit breaking repercussions, has claimed its first victim.

I fear there may be more to follow.

My beloved corpmate, the popular, highly respected rising star and dogfight phenom CRAKE GATERAU, he whose future was by all accounts limitless and filled with hope and driven by dreams of attaining pirating perfection, has committed suicide.

He has walked into the BIOMASS chamber.

He is no more.

That glorious, dazzlingly brilliant, PvP virtuouso has burned out and been reduced to a couple of ounces of BIOMASS debris.

Our dear CG is gone forever.

We, his adoring corpmates are devastated.

He took his own life when it appeared it was at the apex of its brilliance.

The young, kind, generous kid, who would on an almost daily basis surprise me with contracts of wine, spirit, smokes, and hookers is gone.
He was always worried about my spirit and how I was holding up.

SKRMR is in turmoil over these developments, and well it should be.

As the venerable Thomas Hobbes clone #234-A32 once uttered, the life of the solo pirate in the brutally unforgiving vastness of NEW EDEN is certain to be nasty, brutish, and short.

Despite this immutable truth, we cannot lose hope that our innate goodness as a species will ultimately win out and temper the intrinsic evil that so perniciously permeates our existence as it is shaped by NEW EDEN.

CG was cognizant of this maxim and insisted on his pursuit of PVP excellence despite the deadly milieu in which he had to operate and ply his deadly trade.

He was a gentle soul and he was a warrior's warrior.

He understood that there was no incongruity in these seemingly contradictory stances.

A brutal universe did not mean an abandonment of our humanity.

He was also a hard working brave young soul.

Now he is gone.

We, the ones left behind cannot lose hope.

His memory mandates that we not give up.

While untold numbers of young capsuleers toil in virtual obscurity and desolate loneliness on a daily basis in the thousands and thousands of star systems of NEW EDEN, there is still the earnest belief prevalent I firmly believe, that basic human tenets of respect, kindness, and comfort will be given consideration and will hold sway and will not wane and vanish in the smoke of autocannon fire.

Gratuitous fiendish savagery and rancor are not required to be a warrior.

We will NEVER surrender to our barbaric nature. We must not.

CG was a warrior who understood this.

You can be a magnificent warrior and retain all those properties and virtues that make HUMAN KIND such an admirable life form.

Yet, there is a harsh reality that cannot be avoided.

New Eden fights us hard everyday!

It wants us reduced to our lowest common denominator.

There is NO room for idealism or altruistic sentiments in the existence known as NEW EDEN.

Not if she has her way.

We have all learned over time to live and accept that fact.

Do not misunderstand me.

They exist and can be embraced privately and in secret but we are discouraged from openly acknowledging them as virtues to be practiced or perfected.

Unfortunately, in some circles, individuals of depraved, unscrupulous and iniquitous nature take this fact and use it as a template to heap even more pain, agony, and cruelty upon their minions.

This was and is especially true in that ghastly enclave known as THE SCREAMING HAYABUSAS.

Imagine the inherent brutality of NEW EDEN writ small and much more concentrated.

That was and is SKRMR.

The leadership of MIURA BULL would never permit any stasis other than complete surrender to our most base primitive urges and compulsions.

This is why the fingers of accusation are ALL pointed at the SKRMR CEO.

We know WHO to blame.

The overriding question is of course WHY?
Some will still ask why despite the framework I have provided above.

What could have prompted someone,who apparently had so much to live for in NEW EDEN to take such a radical step?

In scenarios like this, there is of course a preliminary period of grieving, followed by necessary inquiry and questioning, and ending ultimately in finger pointing.

Without question, as I have already alluded to above, ALL fingers are pointing at the CEO of the Screaming Hayabusa.

Yes, we are looking at you Miura Bull!!

Life, even in the warriors reality is still to be honored and treasured and is not to be frittered away or wasted, especially to serve the needs of certain megalomaniacal personas.

The unmitigated desire for personal aggrandizement found in many of NEW EDEN's ruling corporate elite must be quelled.

People cannot and should not be subordinated to this narcissistic objective.

Sadly, this admonition was ignored in the Hayabusa corporation.

WHERE WAS OUR LEADER WHEN CG WAS SUFFERING? Why was he oblivious to his condition?

Our young friend and corpmate had for some time now been clearly on the brink.

It was obvious even to the most obtuse of pirate dunderheads in the SKRMR collective that he was becoming increasingly disenchanted and disillusioned with his life in SKRMR.

He was being pushed too hard and for too long.

Frankly, many of us were.
He was not alone in that mindset.
Still, we are haunted by that doleful question.

What could we have done to prevent this?

Multiple times in recent weeks, our young friend made overtures to us and in his own way reached out to us and asked for our help but we did not respond.
He was ashamed to be forthright with us and reticent to clearly articulate the depths of his concerns and worries to us lest he be judged.

He was, as many of us in SKRMR have been conditioned to be, ashamed to show weakness and vulnerability because to do so would violate an unwritten rule of the HAYABUSA cult!
We are tough and we kill.

Instead he only hinted about his personal adversity and rapidly failing coping mechanisms and hoped for a helping hand and then when no help was forthcoming, continued on with the execution of his life sapping orders.

Orders from MIURA BULL.

Orders that were conceived with only one purpose in mind, the preservation of the MIURA BULL mystique.
This could only be achieved by maintaining a lofty position on the corporate rankings.
The order was clear and was to be strived for at ALL costs in both material and personnel.
No collateral damage was too great.
No price too heavy to pay.

You did not complain EVER.
You just undocked.
You KILLED and then KILLED some more.

KEEP US AT THE TOP OF THE KILLBOARD and BEAT YOUR CORPMATES for the SKRMR in house championship!!

That message droned down to us daily from the ivory tower where our corporate leadership resided.
It is a leadership cadre of ONE.

The pressure that kid must have felt.
We ALL felt the pressure, but CG felt it more acutely than anyone else.

Recently, I commented on the toxic nature of this corporate competition and on the dangers of a prolonged drive to maintain KB dominance.

I warned of its possible ramifications.

Now CG, our guiding PVP light has been extinguished.

Many times I advised him to slow down and take time off.

He refused and appeared compelled by some unholy forces to continue his campaign to make MIURA BULL proud of him.
He had drunk the koolaid and was lost to us.

Like a puppet on a string, he pressed forward and did the obligatory rueful dance, putting on a brave face, and venturing forth every day to "FEED BEBBY!"FEED BEBBY!.

How we have grown to hate that exhortation!!!

That "FEED BEBBY" mantra was the cry that was expected from every pilot in SKRMR before undocking and it was the precursor, the condition precedent, to this young mans early and most untimely death.

And yet, our own sense of despair as we watched his inexorable deterioration and unrestrained downward spiral to his ultimate death, was not enough to motivate us to act.

We could not commiserate with him or share in his torment because that would be acknowledging our own weaknesses.
We were ensnared in the same vile despicable web!

To show weakness and vulnerability in SKRMR was, according to MIURA BULL, to invite capitulation and submission and abnegation.

It was a renunciation of the SKRMR creed and a welcoming of all things lily-livered and chickenhearted and timorous and weak-kneed.

You were a yellow belly, a spineless, cowering, fainthearted sissy!

You pushed ON and never looked back!

THE KILLBOARD. ALWAYS THE KILLBOARD!!

That was ALL that mattered.

The HAYABUSA chief will of course accuse me of "SPINNING" this scenario in order to put him in the worst possible light.

No spin is necessary as the facts are self evident.

The Hayabusa culture and corporate ethos, powered by the vainglorious self absorption of its leader, is solely to blame for the loss of our dear friend.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

First, I ask you to take a gander at the implement pictured above.

It is officially called an ASP Baton, and it was the East L.A. homeboys tool of choice for making sure the old lady was "always in the mood", that is until that foolish Jeff Gilooly, ex husband of notorious bad girl skater, Tanya Harding, hired some dim wit to use one to whack Nancy Kerrigan in the knee.

In the barrio, we never heard the words, "Not Tonight Viejo, I have a headache!".
No gleam killer for us.
This baton was better than any aspirin.
You merely pointed to the tool in the corner of the room and you would soon as Shakespeare so aptly stated be the recipient of.... ‘profit’s yet to come ‘tween me and you’

"COSITAS BUENAS" as that great salsa song used to say

Also, as an ergonomic aside, it possessed a symmetry and balance that made it a joy to "wield".
A random non-sequitor I know but an important point to make.

Now, thanks to that foolish shortsighted Gillooly, this marvelous magic wand has been forever stigmatized as a tool for nefarious actions, throwing it into the heap along with brass knuckles, the Tucker telephone, and the Cat o nine tails. (you will have to research those yourself).

We will come back to this BATON in a few minutes.

I have other quick issues to cover.

Lets press on.

Recently, Miura Bull, the chief of the Screaming Hayabusa (SKRMR), published a blog post that has, as I so astutely predicted after first reading it, created havoc within the membership of SKRMR and may ultimately spell the demise of that great organzation.

When he first published the blog, I penned a strongly worded cautionary post on our forums, hoping to convince Da BULL that he should table this whole idea.

Predictably, as is his custom, he ignored my admonitions and set the corp upon itself, forcing us to battle night and day, for the purposes of being named SKRMR champion.

SKRMR CHAMPION!

There isn't even a fucking belt!

Many who have read this blog in the past are keenly aware of the ongoing battle I have had with this CEO.

Frankly, he could care less if his entire corporation to the man/woman toppled over from sheer exhaustion.

He is, I am afraid, a misanthropist of the first order.

This blog post of mine is being penned on the 5th of May and already I have seen the deleterious effects this policy has promulgated.

Every active member of the corporation is undocked and scrambling for their lives, killing everything that moves or even doesn't move but at a heavy cost.

Day old noobs, cyno ships, and celestial objects of all types are being destroyed and at record numbers.
This is saying something as the HAYABUSA, are the top ranked PvP corporation by BC standards.

Many have already complained that they just cannot go on.

I have become the unofficial ample "shoulder to cry on".
But what can I do?

I pat them on the head, wipe their little tears, give them a shot of whiskey and push them off the undock.
My hands are tied!!

SEX DISCRIMINATION!!
Now, I must address the sexism I have encountered and at this juncture we reconnect to to the BATON discussion noted above.

At the beginning of the month, one of our newest members and a former chief of R1FTA, Arianne Stone, stormed out of the gates and took a quick lead on the KillBoard.
She was a sight to behold. A femme fatale indeed.

While chatting casually with the BOSS, he intimated that having a girl at the top could be problematic from a public relations point of view.

I of course did not agree.

Now I am not up on all the "emoticon" language and am fuzzy on what inferences those little characters may convey when served up in a chat.
But what I saw next troubled me.

I saw what looked like a winking eye pop up and a comment from Da Bull about someone doing a "KERRIGAN" on Arianne!!

Say What!!!
I have taken the liberty of ordering my dear ARI the following industrial strength knee pads.

I will let that sexist 15th century mindset sit in your gullet for a spell as I move on to yet another major concern of mine, since this has turned into a generalized complaint session.

AGE DISCRIMINATION!
Rampant age discrimination.

Late last night, while consoling another harried, distressed, young corpmate, I was stunned to hear words I had never hoped to hear in my tenure as pilot with SKRMR.

The young pilot, no doubt, overwhelmed with gratitude at my comforting words, looked up and with a smile called me "SENIOR SKRMR CHAMPION!"

Evidently in private, it is being bandied about that I should be competing in a separate division, a division for older players, a division that golfer Lee Trevino used to refer to as the "ROUND BELLIES", when speaking about the senior PGA.

Yes I have a big round belly and an unflattering panniculus.
But surgery can remedy that dammit!!
My piloting skills are still excellent and I use my hands and my wits not my gut!!

I am thought incapable of competing on a level footing with these young punks.

I am certain that DA BULL both initiated and fueled the flames of that vicious rumor!

Well, I present the following for your perusal:

I am writing this blog post during a short respite, before I undock again.

The "EURO's" have gone to bed and I will soon be out and about looking for targets.

As Will Varner told his son in THE LONG HOT SUMMER when referring to the rival Ben Quick...."He will be awake when you are asleep and he will be where you ain't!" I am out there young whippersnappers and I am killing shit!!!

I will log tonite and hit the sack sitting comfortably at the top of the KILLBOARD!!

How do you like them apples?

I apologize for the resentment and indignation that may be permeating this post but I am at my wits end.

Though I disagree with the whole SKRMR champion concept, I am going to teach those young punks a thing or two.

This goes for R1FTA as well.

Watch yourselves young REBELS!!

This month and only this month I will put my feeling aside and push for that TITLE!!

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Authorities have responded to the GULMO CBD storage station in HEIMATAR region, where a despondent and possibly mentally deranged pirate identified as "LHORENZHO" has taken two hostages and has sequestered himself in a locked BIOMASS chamber in the station.

According to local unnamed spokespersons, LHORENZHO went berserk after losing a workers compensation claim against his employer, THE SCREAMING HAYABUSA (SKRMR), an outfit led by notorious pirate MIURA BULL.
Subsequent to the decision being issued the suspect was seen to calmly grab his side arm and requested his personal valet be summoned.
Experts have noted that it is not uncommon for those who have decided to take their own lives to exhibit an almost serene demeanor once the decision has been made and internalized.

The hostages identified as Strhyke Cantaso and Bhane Celesto, are presumably associates of the perpetrator and are said to be in relatively good health.
When brought to the CHAMBER window by Lhorenzho they appeared understandably haggard and tired. Both also appeared to have been subjected to some physical abuse.

Of major concern to security forces on the scene at the moment is the BIOMASS chamber timer which has been activated by the kidnapper.

Local authorities have verified that the 10 hour timer is running and although the specific timer for LHORENZHO was not shown, it is believed he has activated it as well.
(The photos above were provided by NEW EDEN authorities and close inspection reveals the timers have been activated)

The crime appears to have been pre-planned as the coding for the chamber has been altered and there appears to be no way to deactivate it without the assistance of the BIOMASS chamber developer who has not been located.
The men are locked in and nothing short of an explosion that would severely injure the participants could open the chamber.
New Eden workers compensation officials believe one of Lhorenzho's many contacts in the industry may have tipped him off as to the decision allowing him time to plan his final vendetta.

Lhorenzho has also indicated that an envelope containing a letter is to be opened and read upon his demise, further proof that he has undoubtedly initiated his own timer.

He has demanded that Ava Starfire, Sindel Pellion, and Sugar Kyle be brought to the chamber.
Several persons close to the suspect have stated that he has had a long running infatuation with the sexy trio.

He has also demanded that his workers compensation claim be accepted posthumously and that DEATH BENEFITS and other accrued benefits be paid out to named beneficiaries as specified in the letter he has in his possession in the chamber.

The authorities are working feverishly to meet some of the demands although the busy schedules of the three ladies named apparently makes their appearance virtually impossible.
The decision that ostensibly fomented the eruption in the suspect is provided below.

Corp members of Lhorenzho interviewed have stated that he has been feuding aggressively with SKRMR management, in particular the mercurial MIURA BULL, over pressure to perform on the KILLBOARD.

The aging LHORENZHO was said to be struggling as he worked 20 plus hours a day to maintain a respectable position on the dreaded KILLBOARD, especially in light of the spectacular performances of several new young stars hired by the demanding BULL.

THE DECISION

HEIMATAR REGIONAL WORKERS COMPENSATION APPEALS BOARD
Decision and Order
Case 4587-852L
Re: Lhorenzho Villasana Escalante Del Bosque Pena III
The court finds that Lhorenzho is to "Take Nothing".
Of primary utility in the courts decision were a series of Sub-Rosa films provided by the investigative firm CHEATERS, hired by Employer SKRMR (Screaming Hayabusa) to rebut the numerous claims set forth by the complainant.
The undersigned trier of fact reviewed the 8 hours and 23 minutes worth of footage.(some portions of grainy quality were not considered)
Clearly the activities of the claimant as depicted therein call into question his veracity and credibility and his specific and ongoing injury allegations are suspect in toto as a result.
Mr. Villasana was seen in the provided video record, to be participating in a variety of strenuous activities both of a work and recreational nature that render his now clearly preposterous claims for orthopedic and Psychiatric benefits moot and unwarranted.
The court remands the matter back to the district court of jurisdiction for final disposition.
The employer and its insurer are found not liable and are relieved of any liablilty both past, current, and future stemming from claim number 4587-852L as recorded above.

Claimant has the right to file an appeal within 7 days to the NEW EDEN 18th district court of appeals.

ADDITIONAL MATERIALS OF INTEREST
The following may shed some light on the nature of the dispute as it developed.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FUCK YOU!
You have pushed me for the last time BULL.
Unlike some of your new pilots, I will not be taken advantage of by you.
You have something to say to me go through my attorney at least as it pertains to my comp case.
FYI, my doctor has said I cannot be released to return to work for at least a month.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

THE INJURY OCCURRED AS FOLLOWS:
(Explain what the worker was doing at the time of injury and how the injury occurred)
Employee was working in excess of 100 hours per week.
Corporation ethos created an intense competitive atmosphere where KILLBOARD leaders were lauded and where those lagging statistically were subjected to ridicule and ostracized.
The orthopedic component arose from constant handling and manipulating of space vessel controls and buttons, hangar work, guard duty, cleaning of quarters with toothbrushes, and babysitting the bastard children of Miura Bull.
Stress component is attributed to hostile work environment and exhaustion due to relentless and unmitigated pressure to propel SKRMR to the top of the BATTLECLINIC rankings.
The corporation is currently ranked 4th in all of NEW EDEN and this position is NOT acceptable to the current Screaming Hayabusa management team which has stated publicly that they will reach number 1 or all will die trying!
Numerous CTA's were scheduled with little or no rest periods provided between events.
In particular the "FEED BEBBY" campaign proved particularly damaging to employee.
A stream of young "top gun" types were recruited by Miura Bull to "motivate" the existing membership.
These young hotshots were prone to verbally abusing Lhorenzho and mocking his monthly production.

ACTUAL EARNINGS AT TIME OF INJURY:
Rate of pay$ NOT APPLICABLE:
Pay structure designated as " Piece work" - Pilots were required to be "self sufficient" which translated into you will need to scratch out a living. Membership ostensibly toiled for the glory of MIURA BULL .
(circle one) monthly, weekly, hourly: N/A

THE INJURY CAUSED DISABILITY AS FOLLOWS:
Last day off work due to injury: 02/27/2014 (Old earth calender designations used)
Period of disability: Employee has NOT been released to return to work.
Physician examinations pending (various specialists as medical condition dictates)
COMPENSATION:
Compensation was paid : Yes____ No: x___
total paid: 0
weekly rate(s) : 0 Date of last payment: N/A

MEDICAL TREATMENT:
furnished by employer:
yes: no: x
name of medical provider or facility: Not provided by employer
OTHER CASES: Numerous companion cases are pending.
In addition there is a serious and willful component that will be addressed by the venue of jurisdiction.

Addendum 1A:
Please note the following: The basis for the Serious and Willful component: Additional documentation will be provided pending discovery.
This is but a single representative sample.

[18:17:43] Lhorenzho > the carpal tunnel will be added to the work comp case so i wouldnt be too celebratory if i were you
[18:18:01] Miura Bull > ahh
[18:18:06] Miura Bull > I have a special file for those
[18:18:14] Miura Bull > it's called the trash can
[18:18:18] Miura Bull > Tongue

Dear Susan,
Here is some additional documentation that may assist you as you prepare my comp case for trial.
There will be a trial no doubt as I do not see the obstinate BULL agreeing to an equitable settlement.
As you can see even his own right hand man SAINT VOODOO acknowledges that he is jeopardizing my health and the health of the membership in general.
You like the way I got Da BULL to date stamp the communication by tricking him into giving the date?
Like stealing candy from a brutish baby...hee hee.
I think we have a slam dunk case don't you.
See you at the mixer tonight?
There are some other issues I need to discuss with you to include the tactics you might want to consider when you depose that weirdo creep SAINT VOODOO.
Later dear.
Appreciate all your legal help.

sincerely,
Lho

P.S. Let's go for a minimum of 70% permanent disability ok? Make sure we get the right mix of liberal doctors that will ensure that level of PD. I need a life pension.
P.P.S. - Fuck that "light duty" option too. Make sure my doctors depict me as a rehab candidate who must be retrained to do another line of work other than this CAPSULEER SHIT!!
Git er done SUE!

[15:50:31] Lhorenzho > thank you. I always pegged you as a sharp one. I dont think you are weird and creepy like some of the other fellas always say
[15:51:03] Lhorenzho > the BULL pushes you too............I know
[15:51:19] Lhorenzho > *slips Voodoo card of attorney
[15:51:53] Lhorenzho > whats the date today again?
[15:52:09] Lhorenzho > February has short day amount right?
[15:52:35] Miura Bull > 28th yeah last day

[15:52:53] Lhorenzho > Voodoo would you be willing to take a deposition?
[15:53:05] Saint Voodoo > hahha
[15:53:10] Lhorenzho > TY for that BULL.
[15:53:18] Lhorenzho > i am being serious son.
[15:53:45] Lhorenzho > the BULL cannot fire you for giving true honest testimony in a work comp case

My ongoing disputes with my long time employer are really of a secondary nature and that scenario will eventually play itself out one way or the other, most likely with me in custody along with certain other co-conspirators.
It is what is is as the saying goes.

I would hope that you put any feelings of distaste and revulsion aside and finish reading this correspondence.

Some quick background information.

You are one of three beauties that my employer LHORENZHO has fixated on at one time or another during his long career.
(Ava Starfire, Sugar Kyle, and yourself)

You were his delectable trifecta.

Please do not take offense as he always used it as a term of endearment and always with a smile on his face and a gleam in his eye and sometimes even with some actual tumescence in his member. (he is an old man after all)

Let me cut to the chase Ms. Pellion as I know you are a busy young woman, what with your singing career and charitable works and pirating activities.

My employer, who was once a member of the WAFFLES as well (he was purged but on trumped up charges), is nearing the end of his life cycle.

It has been a gloriously successful career from a business perspective and he has also managed to get himself to -10, an objective which always brought him great pleasure and pride.
He loved playing the pirate although truth be told he was in actuality a business savant and his accounts are a clear testament to his proficiency as a tycoon and industry titan.

The man does have beaucoup bucks.

But he has also always been an incorrigible romantic.
He believed as Shakepeare once proclaimed....."She is woman and therefore to be won".
He does love the ladies, especially his elite trinity, in particular his lttle songbird Sindel.

He has spent many an evening sipping his rare Jovian brandy, smoking his New cuban cigar clones, snorting primo cocaine, and playing your songs over and over on his music device often times falling asleep with your angelic voice resonating throughout his quarters as a sublime bedtime lullaby of sorts.

QUE MUSICA TAN LINDA! he would often bellow as he nodded his head and swayed to the tunes of your enchanting songs.
(His first language was actually spanish)

God how he loved your singing.

He adored you from afar (well he once made his way to your quarters while inebriated but dropped his lock pick set and aborted his mission)

I am sorry for slipping up and speaking of him in the past tense but his physicians have told me it is a mere matter of day before he succumbs to his numerous pathology(s).

Yes I have my issues with him but I also am a diligent employee who is determined to see his last wishes fulfilled.

Please sing him a song!

It does not have to be at his funeral although that would be nice.
Croon for him my young starling.
Warble till you can warble no more.

I have no doubt that he would also see fit to leave your Angel Project a sizeable donation.
As I alluded up above, he is very wealthy.

I know you have recently written about scammers who have seen fit to take advantage of your kind heart and generous spirit but I assure you I am not one inclined to do so nor is my employer Lhorenzho guilty of such proclivities.

There are many who would vouch for his legitimacy.
Yes he was/is eccentric but are not most unique personas cut from a slightly different cloth?
You can talk to Miura Bull or others in the Black Rebel Rifter club or screaming Hayabusas for more specific references about this gentleman. They will tell you truthfully what he is about.

Sing for him Sindell!!!

Thats all he asks.

I await anxiously your response which I am confident will be a resounding YES as he has always been a great judge of people and beautiful women.
His last actual communication to me via a painfully long sequence of morse code transmitted by blinking of his eyes was this.....

Saturday, November 23, 2013

To all officers assigned to this matter: JOHNSON, CASAS, BELL, SMITH.
Attached are several communications that have recently come to light and are the basis and precipitating factors leading to this investigation.
Please read them as soon as possible in order to garner some background information on the case.
This investigation is priority one according to Captain Salinas.
We are also in the process of instituting a series of surveillance operations targeting the individuals involved.Tambo Reen resides and conducts business in Jita with an occasional presence in Amarr and Dodixie.
This individual is an asset handler and trader of goods and supplies.

Miura Bull is a space transient of sorts and will have to be located by our agents prior to any specific action being taken.
Both will be brought in for questioning as soon as the investigative groundwork is laid.
Arrest warrants are in the works.
A Vincent R'Lyeh is also under suspicion and a dossier is being compiled on him as well.
The name Kane the Black is also cropping up and detective Casas is researching that suspect.

We are also in cooperation with the medical facility and are coordinating an increase in security in and around the hospital room where the target is currently convalescing.

The letters below speak for themselves.

The target Lhorenzho is currently in an intensive care unit in a quasi vegetative state following an attempt to take his own life subsequent to a devastating loss of a LOKI ship to a little tiny FIRETAIL frigate.

Its been a long time since I have flown a ship in combat myself but even I have to say this was pretty pathetic.
I may have been inclined to slit my own wrists as well if I had been so careless and inept! JK!!
There will be a meeting of the team after lunch today in squad assembly room 118C.

Bull,
As a post script to my earlier letter please be aware that I personally would not include you in ANY communication loop involving these matters if that decision was left to me.

I don't like you mister. I never have.

But, my orders were to spam the "rolodex" so to speak with the news contained in my earlier memorandum involving the breakdown of my employer.

Your name is on that rolodex and thus you were advised of the developments.
Left to my own devices I would keep your fucking brutor ass in the dark!

While Lhorenzho is alive and kicking and manages to evade the BIOMASS center I will comply with his wishes, conflicted, crazed, and confused as they may be.

The consolidation of assets that I referenced in my earlier communication continues.

He is under a physician's care at the moment, and is said to be "heavily medicated" ostensibly for his own good.
According to his primary care provider he has also been in restraints as he has made two attempts to climb into the BIOMASS chamber. (The mini chamber that was set up in Pator Tech station by Lhorenzho to make his rivals "go away")

Only the BIOMASS protocols requiring the simultaneous pressing of the "KILL" button by two distinct state agents prevented his crazy wrinkled old ass from being liquidated.
He enlisted the help of someone named "VINNY" who was willing to assist him but the plan was a fiasco and was foiled.

Clearly his intent is to harm himself.
(update: He is now in a coma after taking an overdose of pills provided by one KANE THE BLACK. )
The hospital staff is playing a running loop of his favorite depressing melancholy tunes to keep his mind engaged in hopes he will snap out of his coma.
Bunch of crap if you ask me.

Truth be told I am ambivalent regarding how he goes to meet his maker as he has never been unduly solicitous of my feelings nor has he ever troubled himself to find out what my thoughts and ideas were regarding how he operated his business enterprises.

I was a mere clerk to him despite my advanced degrees in statistics, finance and business management.

Clearly, my own self interests are at play here as I do NOT want to be out in the job market seeking new employment should the old codger manage to eradicate himself and certainly not with empty pockets to show for my efforts and years of service.

I am told that in his medicated stupor and prior to sinking into a comatose state that he had been screaming out the names of Ava Starfire, Sugar Kyle, and Sindel Pellion. (not necessarily in that order)

Pellion is presumably also some kind of recording star and he babbled something about having her "sing" at his funeral.

He has also asked that his attorney be summoned and I suspect that some kind of adjustment to his last will and testament to provide some consideration to one or all of these women may be in the works.

Pellion also coordinates some form of New Eden NOOB contribution/donation center and I fear he may leave the bulk of his estate to this organization!

Would that he had been so generous with me back when he was still in possession of all his faculties.

I gave that man too much of my time and energy to walk away from this drama empty handed!!
I aim to get paid!

You yourself have had to put up with his incessant insubordination as well right?
I know what a thorn in your side he has been.

Your little "tell him we care" letter below fools no one!
I know you despise his ass as much as I do if not more.

Since you are now in the loop, you are inextricably involved.

It is not too late to make him pay.
Are you hearing me?

It is in your best interests to collaborate with me in whatever scheme I may cook up to assure that we are "taken care of" wouldn't you agree?

Wouldn't you love to walk away from this whole ridiculous self -absorbed sordid breakdown of his with some significant financial gain?
I know I would.

I will be contacting you again in the very near future with more specifics.

At this moment our immediate problem is that our potential benefactor may actually improve and survive this latest incident.
We have to walk a fine line here.
We have to keep him incapacitated for a while longer.

He is quite frail now though and when the time comes, a quick "pillow over the head" maneuver by some enterprising visitor to his hospital suite could prove to be the catalyst to a "windfall" for certain interested parties. No?
I trust that you will be able to handle that chore when the time comes.

Food for thought.
But, nothing must happen until all the pieces are in place.
NOTHING! You understand?

You may be in the process of cooking up your own "end game" scenario and I do NOT want our collective objectives to clash.
That is why I risk sending you these notes. Make sure you destroy them. Don't be stupid and careless BULL.
Also, we might want to come up with some contingency plans to deal with R'Lyeh and Kane.
Loose ends you know.
Some Molden Heath flatfoot has already contacted me so we have to act fast.

We have common interests.
Why not work together?
We could be set for life if we play this out right.

Dear Bull,
I don't know what you did but I am glad you did it.
I assume you had something to do with this turn of events. Perhaps a "mercenary type" hired by you to create turmoil in Lhorenzho's life.
If you were not responsible, then I will just have to thank the space GOD's for this providential turn of events.

My prayers have been answered in any event and It appears also that my days of suffering for 20 hours a day at the trade console are over.

My boss has just sent me a cryptic memorandum advising me that I am to cancel all pending trades and consolidate accounts.

I am to provide a complete inventory of all assets in ALL systems, both physical and otherwise and submit a detailed report to his main office asap.

I am directed to call the nearest BIO-MASS center and make an immediate appointment for him and I have been advised that his attorney is preparing documents to transfer his entire estate to you BULL.

I of course am wondering why the hell he would leave one stinking ISK to your fucking ass but evidently you have made some kind of impression on the old fool.

Preliminarily, the total assets would appear to be in the area of 130 Billion ISK, not counting another 15 Billion still tied up in orders.
There are others in his employ which are completely unknown to you who also have significant portions of his asset basis under their control. I am to contact them as well.
The final asset tally could very well be twice the numbers noted above.

It is somewhat of a mystery to his staff here as to what may have transpired to cause this sudden bout of melancholy and emotionalism but rumors have it he was recently humiliated in the area of Gulmorogod and that the humiliating incident was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back.
The word is that he had his hat handed to him while flying his LOKI by a young capsuleer tooling around in a tiny Firetail.
It figures.
He was never a very good pilot.
Hell we all know he sucked.

I told him time and time again to stay out of the heavily traversed space lanes and concentrate his efforts on popping CYNO ships and to do so only in sparsely populated systems.
Frankly, we all know thats all that old coot is/was good for but lots of luck getting that megalomaniac to accept that reality.
Did he listen to me.

Of course not.
Now the BIOMASS center awaits.

He always was one for grandiose actions that were premised on assumptions about his capabilities that were delusional at best.
He was a crazy old loon for sure but he had his moments.

I cannot say it was ALL bad.
He could be generous but he was also one bossy motherfucker.
It may be all over now.
I am sending you this only because I have been ordered to do so by one of his other administrative operatives.
We await clarifiying information and will relay it to you once it arrives but things are looking grim.

I have no illusions of doing anything as complex and intricate as his process.

I just want ISK and I want it fast and as easy as possible.

I don't have the patience of that damn BEAN COUNTER MAXWELL to see all that stuff through.

I got better things to do with my time.

I used the MARKEE DRAGON affiliate link and purchased the GTC's.

To be honest, even this process, involving out of game actions was irksome.

Who works out these processes?

Do you know how long it took me to enter ALL 32 codes into the ETC redemption system in game?

There has got to be a better way for VOLUME GTC buyers to input their codes.

This is a fucking MICKEY MOUSE system for sure.

I always BUY VOLUME!!!

Easier that way.

I HATE COMPLEXITIES!

Even as I write this quick post, I am experiencing ambivalence as to whether or not to go ahead with the next part of my test.

My intention was to roll out with my real purchase in the next day or so, once this first test was deemed a success.

I hope to pick up another 148 GTC's (is that divisible by 4?) but If I have to enter EACH AND EVERYONE of those fucking long ass silly codes manually I can almost guarantee my old carpal tunnel syndrome is gonna flare up.

Another year of arm slings, wrist braces and anti-inflammatories!

FUCK THAT SHIT!

Been there done that.

If anyone has any ideas as to how I can streamline this process please let me know.

Also, any hints as to how I should handle the BLINK auction process would also be appreciated.

Should I buy large ships, frigs, cruiser, what?

I will be trying to use the BUY ALL TICKETS approach if possible.

Any of you fuckers who have been pathetically addicted to this shit and who are adept at maneuvering around on that BLINK site and can pass me some quick pointers please do so.

He also included a letter from my attorney.
He should have left well enough alone.
We could have settled quietly and amicably out of court and out of the public eye. (probably in the 9 figure range)
He will pay for that blunder later.
Trust me on that.

In any event, as a result of this ill advised action by my CEO, I found myself the target of significant acrimony from fellow capsuleers.

I recieved numerous detailed and somewhat creative death threats (what is a Bolo strangulation device?) and had my favorite Sleipnir "keyed" by some cowardly knave. (It was uninsured as I had a "non op" on the damn thing as I was waiting to reconfigure the fitting due to recent command ship changes!)

I also recieved several bags of nasty hate mail chastizing me for retaining legal counsel.

Why Lhorenzho, I was asked, are you so litigious?

WHY DID I LAWYER UP?
Many letters opened with that question.

WHY?

I will explain shortly.

You want to know why I smirk when I hear young pirates talking about their ships?

Why do I smile and shake my head when they talk about their struggles to "maintain range" or fret anxiously over whether they should be fitting "rails or artillery" or whether its worth it to "switch ammo mid fight" or anguish on the fine points of theory crafting as they go into excruciating detail regarding their EFT sessions as they strive heroically to "optimize" their fits?

Why do I glaze over when the topics of capacitor warfare or buying implants or augmentations or obtaining jump clones crop up?

Why am I indifferent to the lamentations and angst riddled diatribes of these young pups as they torment themselves over issues of prop mods or whether they should shield or armor tank or speed tank.

Why?

Is it because I am a heartless, uncaring, unfeeling bastard who is immune to the suffering and worries of others?
No. I care deeply about people.

I maintain this attitude because I know its ALL BULLSHIT!

WHY DID I LAWYER UP?

Most of the young pilots I deal with on a daily basis haven't a clue where the real power in the Universe resides.
"No tienen bastante mundo" as my favorite uncle Fernando used to say. (They need more real life seasoning in essence)

Forget the fucking capital ships (you want me to train how long for a titan?) and let slip from memory the "awe inspiring" sight of 4000 ship fleets and forget the off grid boosting and links and all those other trifles.
All show and little substance.

Time dilation? Who gives a fuck?
Station trading. Planetary interaction?
BORING!!!

Do it if you want.
I won't look down my nose at you.
But dont tell me they are means to real power in NEW EDEN.

How about massive aerial fortresses and planetary bombardment?
Is that a source of power in your eyes?

WHY DID I LAWYER UP? Think about it carefully for a moment.

WHAT IS THE ULTIMATE DOOMSDAY WEAPON IN NEW EDEN?
That is my question to you.
It's not what you think.
I have already given you plenty of hints young people.

The answer is simple really.IT IS HAVING A GREAT FUCKING LAWYER ON RETAINER!!!!

That's right! A capable, remorselessly aggressive, and relentlessly dedicated IVY LEAGUE LAWYER is where the real power lies.
MI ABOGADO CABRONES!!! MI LICENCIADO!

You fuck with me or mine what do you think I'm gonna do?
I won't raise an eyebrow.
I won't use harsh language against you.
There will probably be no discernible outward sign that I am even reacting to your actions.

I am not going to jump into my rifter or loki or Enyo and go chasing after you like some crazed emotional lunatic?

Certainly not.
I am a busy man.
I am a man who is measured in his responses.
I am a logical man.
I know whats up and like "The wolf" in PULP FICTION, the facilitator, I know how to get things done.

No. There will be no histrionics.
What I am going to do in response to your indiscretion(s) is noncholantly pick up my personal communication device and speed dial my highly paid ATTORNEY. (Her short BIO is provided below)

ONE FUCKING CALL!
I will not work up a sweat prepping a ship for action.
Hell it's hot,muggy and dirty down in those greasy hangars and I have seen big rats down there.
My hands are manicured for crying out loud!

I make one fucking call.
I give my "COUNSELOR" a name and then I go back to sipping my white gold Jeroboam champagne, eating my Alba truffles and nibbling on the ear of my latest love interest as we rest our slipper clad feet on my 600 pound pet siberian tiger clone.
Sometimes we even munch on the dreams of the poor.
Did I say that out loud? I was just kidding.

But enough prefatory material.

Let's go into detail as to how conflict with me and my arsenal of attorneys might play out.

You are easy targets to be frank.
You do not want to be in my legal crosshairs.

You are like the lumbering elephant in the bush.
Dangerous to the unitiated.
The source of decorative Ivory to the keen and resourceful.

Most of you have left a trail of chaos as you have gone about your business.
It's in your nature.
Many of you have fathered a snootfull of illegitimate children, have stiffed landlords, friends and retailers, have been involved in public brawls resulting in damaged property, have dealt in the sale and distribution of controlled substances, have embezzled funds, violated probation, committed assaults and rapes, have perpetrated burglaries and other assorted breaking and entering infractions, and most of you have bounties on your heads.
And for good reason.

You have been very bad bunnies.
You have skeletons in your closets.
You have soft vulnerable underbellies and I have a sharp lawyer.
In essence I can exploit you and I will.

As Dickens said......"If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers".

Our conflict won't be like any you have ever had.
I warn you now.

I won't lock you up with my 425's.
I will tie you up in court for years instead.
You think your latest squeeze will stand by until your case is on docket?
I doubt it.

I will haul you constantly into court to show cause and woe unto you if you "fail to appear".

Who needs drones?
I will get a swarm of injunctions against you.

A NOS? Nope. Not needed.
I will get your wages garnished and have your credit cards cancelled.
Now that is leeching.

Your years of accumulated child support payments in arrears will suddenly become due in toto.
It will be painful like when your market order tanks.

I will have audits, citations and bench warrants issued.
No CLOAK in the universe can help you hide.

I will petition the court to order mandatory arbitration hearings on each and every issue extant.
There is not a propulsion mod fabricated that can speed you away from that shit.

I won't need to put a "web" on your ass.
I will have your assets frozen and impounded.
Talk about financial immobilization.

Who needs a fucking Neut?
I will have liens filed on your ships, homes, hovels, hangar inventory and personal property.
How's that for starters? Do you feel neutralized?

I will break you so badly that you will have to ask the court for the right to file response documents to me in "forma pauperis!"

I will have your tax refunds offset.
Like a skill point hit when you lost a tech III.
Remember how that hurt?

I will alert the NEW INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE Units to put you on their watch list.
Now that is scanning at its best.

I will get mutliple default judgements against you and will subject you to painful time consuming depositions and gruelling cross examinations.

No hiding in your captain's quarters!
Court is NOW in session punks!

I will have my legal beagles ask for forced conservatorships and subject you to court ordered genetic testing.
Here comes another needle!!

I will have your flight privileges quashed and have your pilot licenses revoked.
Better buy some new walking shoes little one. Better get two pair.

Once financially broken, you will be subjected to countless debtors examinations and a series of hidden inventory forensic financial audits will be utilized to ensure that no asset has escaped our grasp.
Bend over!

And that is only the beginning.
You cannot flee from me.
There is no going "off grid" when dealing with my legal sharks.
Have you ever heard the term...."Long arm jurisdiction"?

You cannot avoid the reach of my legal minions.
They are paid well and are eager to please.
Money can buy such zealotry!
The pen is indeed mightier than the autocannon.

This is one fucking PvP enounter you will never forget my young friends.

A GOOD LAWYER.

NOW THAT IS POWER!
I don't need PYFA to tell me that.

Also:
SCREAMING HAYABUSAS

One last point. I want to dispel any notion that my criticisms above about pilots in new eden in general apply to my corporate brothers in SKRMR.
Listen, I am proud to be a member of the HAYABUSAS.
Lets not have any misunderstanding about that particular point.
I would put that bunch up against ANY fucking corporation in this sector of our universe any time.
Hell "pound for pound" they are without doubt the baddest collection of pilots around.
New Eden statistics bear out the accuracy of this assertion.
Truth be told I would consider myself to be the weak link in that fearsome chain of killers at least when talking about traditional piloting skills.

Crake, Nog, DeathtoU, Reciprocat, Tooth, Blacktrax, Ash, Dong,Vinny and even that fucking nemesis of mine, Miura Bull can bring formidable piloting skills to the table.
But, while I may not be blessed with the arsenal of piloting skills that these fellows possess I can certainly bring other virtues that can be equally potent and effective.
The narrative above has already discussed my "other attributes" and I will leave it at that.