I had a horrible experience this weekend, and want to share it as a "what not to do" for those who read this forum.

I was minding my own business, trading in tiger fangs for gil and fame in Sandy (I was 40brd/15thf at the time) when I got a tell asking if I wanted to party in Gustav Tunnel. I reply sure, just gimme two min to switch gear and subjobs and head out.

I don't get a reply back, which I found rather odd. So I switch my jobs, get my gear out, mail my farming gear to myself, pick up Minne III (level 41 song) and grab a choco. As I zone into Ronfaure, I send a tell saying I'm omw. No reply.

I ride through Ronfaure and LaThiene without a reply.

After I zone into Valkrum I send another tell, saying I was in Valkrum. No reply.

Now I'm getting concerned, most parties would say okay and meet me outside or whatever.

I get rid of my choco and zone into the tunnel. Send a tell saying "I'm here" and STILL get no reply. So I start to walk into the tunnel. I'm about halfway into the tunnel and I FINALLY getting a tell saying that while I was in transit (and sending tells, mind you) the other party members found a whitemage to fill my spot.

I was angry, and asked who the party leader was. Shock of shocks, the person I'd been been /tell'ing the whole time WAS THE PARTY LEADER. Which means he'd asked me, knew I was on my way, and then invited someone else instead. I told him that was inconsiderate and rude, and promptly /blist'd him.

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Now, I understand that mistakes happen, but there was a good 5-10 minutes that went by between the initial tell, and the news after my arrival at Gustav Tunnel. If your party leader is already sending tells to someone regarding a party, unless that person says no (or there are extenuating circumstances), leave the invite/member seeking to the leader. If you're making suggestions as to members, do it as soon as the gap opens up (unless your party leader has someone waiting in the wings) so events like this don't happen. I'm sure that said person will be removed from my blist eventually, but regardless I'd be wary of partying with them again, given this event.

Try to be sensative to all parties involved. If something happens and a spot is filled (for whatever reason) when someone else is on their way, TELL THE PERSON IMMEDIATELY. I was more annoyed I spent the money to choco all the way out there and switch everything, only to have to run back to a crag on foot to get back to what I was doing. There wasn't much remorse or anything towards the situation, although I do know the whitemage and s/he apologized. But something to keep in the back of your mind when filling in gaps in parties. ^_^

Was that when you had the "Leave me alone, I hate everyone" message, and then took out your frustration on poor uninvolved Jugner Funguars?

Anyways, the other day I had to coordinate replacing myself and another PT member WHILE I WAS LEADER. I made sure EVERYONE was well informed, made sure they knew what they were replacing, who the invite would be from, location, everything.

A savvy player can smell a bad PT a mile away, so it's important when adding or replacing members to be as kind and courteous as possible. Same goes for those lfp. Having to go back and yank someone through the Crawler's Nest when they're level 40 to get to the beetle room is a bit much. The courtesy should extend both ways. It makes everything work much better.

Was that when you had the "Leave me alone, I hate everyone" message, and then took out your frustration on poor uninvolved Jugner Funguars?

Yup, because immediately after the party fiasco, I got a tell to do BCNM40- they wanted me to replace their bard since I had a Mary's Horn and stuff. I got all excited and got to Jeuno... and then they tell me that their party said no. 2 letdowns in like, 5 minutes... it made me angry. Hence the search comment.

And I beat up tigers, not funguars. ~_^

I think I would not have been as annoyed if I had had my flag up the whole time... which I did not when this whole disaster happened. -_-;

First off, if you are the EXP sukker in the pt (ie:20+ in the Dunes, 25 in Qufim Island, 28 in Yuhtunga, etc.) OFFER to leave the pt. It's called "For the betterment of the party".

If you are just joining a pt, it is polite to tell your pt how long u plan on staying. If you have less than an hour to pt, tell the person inviting u so they can make a decision on whether to pick u up or not. And try, emergencies happen and thats fine, but try and give a half hour warning on your departure. Don't kill two mobs and leave the pt claiming to need to help your LS members, if the pt isnt working for you explain why and then leave ><.

Before you leave it is very, very cool to ask if anyone is close to leveling. How would you feel if you were 12 tnl and the pt disbanded?

I am one of the rare players who doesn't care if u have an underleveled subjob, or are level 50 and Rank 1, or are a WAR subbing WHM, ill try anything once or twice but if i invite you into a pt, DONOT attempt to put another member down for these reasons or dictate HOW the PT SHOULD operate. I kick bossy, know-it-all types in an instant.

I always try to give my pick-up PTs a 30 minute warning in both English and JP. And if I do find a PT, knowing I have to go soon, I will let them know. This usually only happens in Valkurm when I'm soloing while LFG for about 3 hours. When I finally get invited, knowing I only have about 1 hour of playtime left, I figure out if it's even worth the trip from my solo ground to the PT ground. If it's not a full PT, then I know it's not gonna work out for my short time anyway, so I let them know and continue to solo without my flag. :(

I would like to add that invite/join/leaving etiquette can be dictated a lot by circumstance.

For instance, one person just dropped outta party and 2 people(including the whm) are saying they are leaving when they level in less than 1000 xp. If its late.. the party is gonna breakup on the level. Please don't drag someone from 3 zones away to fill in the hole. Dont make someone pay for a tele or choco just to disband on them. grab someone from in zone even if they don't fit the party just to get through to the level.

The in zone lfg'er isn't gonna care(even if you dont warn him) that he only got 1000 xp outta the party cause he was just sitting around twiddling his thumbs anyway.

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If you cast your bread on the water, sometimes it comes back angel food cake.

Same thing with leaving a party... if its 3am cst and youve been with the party through 2 levels and 2 other people are saying that they are leaving soon.. its not a bad thing to say that your leaving with them.

If the whole party just died for the second time in 15 minutes cause the new guy is an idiot and keeps doing stupid things.. and you asked the party leader to replace him.. and the party leader says no.. it is NOT inconsiderate to teamsay "im homepointing.. i can't play with that idiot any longer"

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If you cast your bread on the water, sometimes it comes back angel food cake.

The only thing I'd like to add is please don't lie about your TNL when someone says they really have to leave.

I've experienced this more than once in parties. I get the "but I'm only 800 TNL!" which usually means 4-5 Mobs tops. If you tell me that, I'll almost always cave and stay because everyone came to level & I really can skip out on 20 minutes of sleep.

And yet, 10 mobs later no level. One time I actually had someone say, "but if I'd told you I was 2000 TNL you would have left, and now I really am super-close."

I think people forget time zones. I'm EST - so when I say I want to leave in 1/2 an hour at 9:00 California time, it's already Midnight for me. I don't know how it works for most of you, but my boss expects me to appear awake at the office. ;-P

for whatever it's worth, you can't expect someone to sit and stare at a computer screen for 3 hours waiting for pt. i've waited for 2 hours plus without success and i've started watching movies while i wait and checking back every five minutes or so, because sometimes it's a complete waste to stand around and do nothing. bring a book, play your game boy, whatever.

for whatever it's worth, you can't expect someone to sit and stare at a computer screen for 3 hours waiting for pt. i've waited for 2 hours plus without success and i've started watching movies while i wait and checking back every five minutes or so, because sometimes it's a complete waste to stand around and do nothing. bring a book, play your game boy, whatever.

No offense, but if you sit around for more than an hour waiting for a pt invite you r wasting valuable time. It's called your life. And by checking every five minutes you will end up being that guy who after the pt has started /tells: O sorry was afk, yea i'd luv to pt. LOL. Can't tell you how many times I've had to say: Sorry we got someone already as a reply, only to have the person reply: Aw shucks, i've been waiting FOREVER.

A. After an hour of LFP, u should try to start your own. B. If you are rank 5, and hopefully you have completed the annoying quests to attain this, y not farm with your flag up? You can get an invite from anywhere with the Airshi pass at your disposal. C. I've never waited more than an hour LFP becuz i have severe ADD (>.<), so i ALWAYS do one of the above rather than stand around jeuno screaming for party invites.

And on a sidenote, one of the best ways to get a quick invite is to EDIT your COMMENTS under the SEARCH menu. If people know who you are and what you need they will better be able to fit you into their pt design. And one of the quickest ways to get shot down for a pt is to start qualifying it before accepting the invite (ie. Do you have a WHM? Is the pt full? Does the RDM know REFRESH? Have you ever heard more useless, annoying questions in your life?, etc.) You can join the pt, then goto Party List...Hello?

Yes, this post is dead-on. I've never run into this before, but I can't tell you how many times I've had to apologize to some poor player after our pt leader has told someone to come out to where we're leveling only to turn around 5 minutes later and invite someone else. It's ridiculous. Stuff like that wastes peoples' time and gil in most cases. A note to Darkrein, not to be mean, but I ask questions like that most of the time, because at certain times I'll get 4-5 invites and I'd rather not tell certain ones "no" without knowing what they've got in the pt. For example, if I said "yes" to a pt and joined and saw they had a BLM/WHM for a healer and a SAM tank, after unknowingly telling a pt with WHM, DD's, tank, pl'er that I already had a pt. So if you ever get a barrage of questions from me, know that the above reason is why I do it ^^

sorry, Dark, but somehow, that's just how it is. I use search comments, I'm not a bad RDM, I make sure to be readily available to go anywhere (if my flag is up anyway), etc. And sometimes it takes that long. The hours that I play at basically see nothing but NA players decline while JP pt's go up.