The Continental Oh hey, DGWUS readers, it’s me again, prepare to be greeted with some hot sports takes birthed straight from the fertile shores of my femininity. If you live under a rock, or decided to sleep in on the only Monday in February that’s worth living for the US women’s hockey team beat the Swedes 6-1 with the US outshooting their opponents 70-9. So scores took to twitter declaring it time to eliminate women’s hockey from the Olympics because parity doesn’t exist. Presenting my rebuttal, in easily digestible SEO optimized list form, it’s the only way to have discourse these days: 1. Sweden is a country of 9.5 million to the US’s 314 million! As of 2011 Sweden had 3,245 female players which is about as many kids go to high school at Williamsville North/South/East total.

This meatball hill is more like a meatball mountain

Keep thinking boys, I know you can keep up with us girls

2. The Slovakian men lost to the US men 7-1 but no one gave a shit about parity then, probably because of the novelty of cheering in earnest for Ryan Callahan hadn’t worn off. It’s more exciting to watch players we recognize versus faceless women we MAYBE only catch during the Frozen Four.

3. The parity argument again is a sexist sham, specifically Men’s Basketball. In 17 tournaments the US Men won gold in 14, silver in 2 and bronze in 1; that 2004 bronze team was a ~national embarrassment.~

4. Before 1998 Canadian women won every World Championship but that year the US women won gold in the first Olympics that had women’s hockey and those teams have been pretty evenly matched since.5. The US hit parity with Canada despite the fact WE DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WOMEN’S SPORTS! How many jokes use the WNBA as its punch line? How quickly did the Women’s Professional Soccer league fail? Who can name the winningest college basketball coach of all time? But we sure as shit remember Brandi Chastain diving into the ground in her sports bra, because we always have the time of day to objectify women athletes.

My ONLY great sports memory from 1999

6. The primary reason the US has great women's athletics now is Title IX. It took legislation to force universities and high schools to afford equal athletic opportunities for girls and boys. Forty years after Title IX women’s participation in sports has increased 980%.

Heh. Balls.

7. OMG! THIS! WIN!

Avg age Team Sweden = 22.6 Team USA = 23 NHL = 27.5 Imagine how good they can be if given a chance to continue to develop post college #CWHL

8. College is largely the only opportunity women have to play since pro leagues have largely been such a massive failure or entirely ignored. The Canadian Womens Hockey League (which nine US roster members are a part of) doesn’t pay players, it covers: travel, ice fees, uniforms, and some equipment.

9. Hockey presents specific economic challenges for all players: it’s extremely cost prohibitive. Ice rinks are money pits to build and keep running, For players to get to the rink, the ice time, equipment involved, league fees, etc, it adds up to a six figure hobby pretty quickly for travel players. This point is also why there is a lack of diversity in hockey IMO but that is for another day.

In a Nutshell

10. Latent sexism, like latent racism is easy to deny and men have a really hard time getting past it, fuck, it’s something I struggle with too. Critical thinking is something we should all strive for, the fastest way I’ve seen this happen for men is to have a daughter, but going to the library and picking up books by Audre Lorde or Judith Lorber is WAY cheaper.

Alright, so the reason I never write about "sports" is because all of my teams are steaming piles of dog shit. Writing about them is tantamount to watching the dog shit: cool, harden and turn white on the corner every day when I walk to work. And Barrister has been begging me to write something for once in my life.

This thought process started with the Buffalo Sabres Twitter account tweeting about some Dancing With The Stars contestant. So turns out she's on Terry Pegula's record label (diversify yo bonds); mystery solved likely. I was sincerely afraid this was part of a "pinkification" operation to reach out to female fans. Because let's be honest, I'm sure no one has learned anything from While the Men Watch or the Ranger's Girls Guide to Hockey.

Hey, the Sabres account might not be on the same snark level as the Kings, at least they're not handing over the account to people I've never heard of who make shitty "jokes" about sexual assault.

This is as belated as we've been in a while. Maybe the dad among us shouldn't promise to edit anymore, particularly on a noght of such heavy drinking. With esteemed Deeg colleague Monsieur Boner Shorts in town, things got weird.I won't bother recapping it, except to say this was recorded the night of Tuesday, March 26th, in the midst of Sabres, Knicks, USMNT, Clippers/Mavs and shots of whiskey. Also, the Scizz was there, so if you love the soft tones of his Franklinville accent, make sure to join in the fun with a download.

Download HERE or HERE or stream below if you want, whatever. Subscribe via the itunes link below, or via RSS at www.deargodwhyussports.libsyn.com/rss ... I think?

We went to the Sabres game out on Long Island last week, we recorded dipshit #hottakes in the midst of our drunkenness, and then I took my sweet ass time editing it all into a nice little package for you.

At least it's short, right guys?

If you enjoy those moments when we're the most wretched versions of ourselves, you'll love this one. If you prefer us when we're serious sports analysts, go take a nap while reading Buffalo Wins.

Music by the Jambrones, The Edgar Winter Group, The Doors and Eric Clapton. Download here and here, or stream below.

Every week (HA FUCKING HA) The Continental will answer your questions. Whether it is Buffalo sports related inquiry, needed advice, or just a generally stupid question you feel like seeing her answer, have at it and we'll see what this young lady is made of! You can e-mail weekly questions to us at deargodwhyussports@gmail.com, tweet us @DGWUSports, or even tweet her directly @hpurricane.

I clearly need to get better at "getting drunk" and/or "posting to the site." The Barrister puts me to shame and he has a wife, child, and law bidness and drinking to tend to. In the mean time I have been getting drunk A LOT. #OccupyNassau was fun, if traumatic for brave coworker I invited along. I did do a lot of yelling about Jochen Hecht being a shitsipping taint, but I did keep the "Please let me suck your dick Cody" to a minimum. But seriously, if any of you buffablogbros can hook a sister up tell Cody I'm DTF.

What's a good VDay activity for a non-romantic couple that doesn't want to buy each other shit. @criminallyvu1ga

Anal.

That counts for a lot of people. Although some people can get by with "make dinner" and "tell my partner I love them." But for you two, you guys moved to a new city with what I assume is a somewhat temperate climate? I recommend a nice long walk with your dogs, then if you can, make a bonfire! That's cozy and romantic (provided you are legally able to set fires.) Hot dogs optional, but everything in my life is better with hot dogs.

Hot Diggity Damn!

Which professional league athletes get the most ass on the road and why and in order? -HKD

Time spent on the road, takes football right out since they have the shortest season, plus just less time away from their wives and families during the week. Let's go from least to most ass:

4. Football-time crunch, short seasons AND career length.3. Baseball- baseball players wear tight pants, but they're mostly busted and weird shaped. At least hockey players are busted but man-shaped.2. Hockey- good Canadian boys usually get married young and have a surprising amount of sexual hangups. So by the time they start being adulterous it's in their late 20s, inherent disadvantage.1. Basketball- I mean have you SEEN basketball players! Young, cute, crazy scary tall, full schedule with plenty of travel. Definitely first.

HOOP DREAMS

Who should I want to bang more, TJ Brennan or Ryan Fitzpatrick? @SamanthaJoy124

First this stems back from a hilarious exchange with @fgif when his profile picture was Franj with TJ Brennan. Sam said she "maybe would" the tall one (Brennan.) Then Frank cried himself to sleep or something, I don't know his life.

Sam, TJ Brennan is 6'1" and Fitzy is 6'2" so they are pretty much at the same playing field as "unfortunately not that much taller than you." (Sam is my dutch goddess friend, if any of you are 6'3" or taller in the NYC Metro area and are a "good" dude please romance her.) TJ Brennan is the obvious choice, he is younger, has a better future in his sport, isn't Grand Marshall of the shit parade. Brennan is the healthy scratch of shit parades.

I've got hurt feelings, I've got hurt feel-lings

I'm a busy important 3L, please watch House of Cards and decide whether or not I should watch it since we both have impeccable taste. -@sholland06

Ok, I may have paraphrased there but that's really what he meant. SORRY to to disappoint but the night I tried to start watching House of Cards I hit a speed bump commonly known as "blacking out." Since I tried to drown my sorrows that Franj and Renn could not make #occupynassau. Maybe 12 beers before trying to start an hour long drama was a poor choice. Really the drinking 12 beers was the poor choice.

Anyways sholland06, people I love and trust (Happy Valentines Day <3) all love it, the afformentioned Franj, Renn, but also StephanieZD, runthedive,cbruckel and other people who I'm sure I'm forgetting. The tone seems to be a lot of "wow this is incredible and well done" but mostly "KATE MARA."

Also to everyone if you have any important cultural contributions to add to my life I am always looking readers.

Really? All star weekend? Anyone likes those things? But fair, it's the NBA and you get dunk contests and the game is like two Harlem Globetrotters playing each other, not the awkward shinny the NHL puts on every year.

Sex and hockey is probably too pedestrian right? Yeah, that's not even a special occasion, and Valentine's Day is about going "above and beyond" we can all agree. Therefore my answer is leave work to drink, go to a Rangers or Knicks game and get very drunk,then give a blow job to my date in a cab. WHO SAID ROMANCE IS DEAD Y'ALL!!!!

True Romance.

Are you there Deegers it's me The Continental:

On a day with such a rich tradition of love and romance I'm here to ask you: What is the most shameful/weirdest/creepiest/scariest/saddest/grossest thing you've ever beat off to? Anonymity encouraged.

Sunday didn't go quite as planned. Our special guest for the afternoon was absent due to the failings of Time Warner's high-speed never really works internet so the rest of the NYC-based crew soldiered on with discussions of the Bills, Sabres, NHL and a silver platter of other topics that I can't be bothered to remember. We finish it off with another installation of our game "Scizz is a Douche," thereby giving us all the opportunity to show how stupid we are when we're a few deep.

Every week (or at least we hope, everyone knows we suck at schedules here) The Continental will answer your questions. Whether it is Buffalo sports related inquiry, needed advice, or just a generally stupid question you feel like seeing her answer, have at it and we'll see what this young lady is made of! You can e-mail weekly questions to us at deargodwhyussports@gmail.com, tweet us @DGWUSports, or even tweet her directly @hpurricane.

The Bills are still a football team, which really bums me out. Fortunately I had Boner Shorts Day to look forward to this week and it was a great time. The next day at work? Not so much. As promised, here is my answer to last week's question: "what's the worst thing someone has overheard you say."

To preface this, my 11th grade history teacher was a total cockbag. He graduated from the school he teaches at, he was popular then, and then in his mid 30's he was still trying to relive his glory days. He loved making us listen to him talk, mostly inane anecdotes he repeated often. I think it was about the third time he launched into his "trip to Paris" story when he paused for dramatic effect and I leaned over to my friend/seatmate and said "Congratulations." Problem: I said this in my normal speaking voice, not a whisper, cue class laughter.

Mr. Cockbag decides that this is a good place to lecture me for my sarcasm and cynicism The joke was on him because he used both of those words incorrectly. I knew he was pissy, so I didn't correct him so I wouldn't get detention.

Epilogue: he goes to my church and the one time a year I see him he never speaks to me or my family, though we sit two pews away. Assclown.

Every week (or at least we hope, everyone knows we suck at schedules here) The Continental will answer your questions. Whether it is Buffalo sports related inquiry, needed advice, or just a generally stupid question you feel like seeing her answer, have at it and we'll see what this young lady is made of! You can e-mail weekly questions to us at deargodwhyussports@gmail.com, tweet us @DGWUSports, or even tweet her directly @hpurricane.

The Continental

Alright, I'm just going to come out and say it. If the lockout ends this week it was absolutely due to CrapTastiCast 38 with Jeremy White. Because yeah, that was a thing that totally happened in my life. But really I kind of don't care about the NHL happenings because guess what the fuck is happening December 21, 2012: ZUBAZ NIGHT ... that's right! The Rochester Americans are doing $30 tickets PLUS your own pair of Zubaz. What a bargain So yeah, catch me there. I might have to wear these around Williamsburg and Soho every weekend to see if someone takes my picture for their Street Style Blog.

I wish I could be as cool as @JustinBassett, the self-proclaimed Hugo Boss of fanswear. He's right.

Back from a pretty long hiatus, the Deeg is back with another CrapTastiCast, and it's one some of you have been waiting for since Mr. White and I exchanged words over the NHL Lockout in October. We spoke about having Jeremy chat record with us at the time, but daddy duties and Hurricane recovery put this on the backburner until now. Perhaps that delay was for the best since, in the month and a half that has followed that initial twitter fight (God I feel so stupid typing that), Jeremy and I have had a chance to talk more about the lockout. While I wouldn't say we've reached any kind of consensus on those issues that got me so heated in October, it's become apparent that Jeremy is a civil dude (not always readily apparent on twitter... which could be said about many) and that civility plays itself out on what you'll listen to here.My apologies if you came here expecting nothing but our unbridled asshole shtick. Frankly, we care too much about the issues of the lockout to cave into our sophomoric tendencies - at least this time - especially when we have a guest willing to look beyond the fact that I may or may not have called him a equivocating hack/dickhole back in October. /rushes to delete Deeg archives /trips over beer cans /farts /forgets original taskWhich isn't to say that this CrapTastiCast is entirely devoid of those tendencies you've come to know and love. Along for the ride are The Scizz and The Continental. In addition to the lockout, we talk Bills, Jets, Mets, Knicks and stumble through a few completely inappropriate conversations about drugs in closets and Scizz's love for our 43rd President. If you're only interested in our talk with Jeremy, cue it to 15:55 and enjoy. Also - give yourself the finger from us since we think you should listen to the whole fucking thing.In addition to our usual intro, Deeg house band The Jambrones help us out with our first two musical interludes, while the rest is picked up by Audioslave and Brother Ali.

Every week (or at least we hope, everyone knows we suck at schedules here), The Continental will answer your questions. Whether it is a Buffalo sports related inquiry, needed advice, or just a generally stupid question you feel like seeing her answer, have at it and we'll see what this young lady is made of! You can e-mail weekly questions to us at deargodwhyussports@gmail.com, tweet us @DGWUSports, or even tweet her directly @hpurricane.

The Continental

I made it back from the Thanksgiving pilgrimage to my childhood home, and boy do things there never change. Except my father made me install a new glass door with my brother, and boy did it almost fall on me and permanently disfigure my face. Plus I even got to meet The Outlander! I have finally met every Deeg-er and boy are we more hilarious and inappropriate in person. The written word does not do enough justice. I'll be home for Christmas too, and I'm planning on hitting an Amerks game. Look me up, I'll probably even buy you a beer because holy tits I forgot how cheap beer can be, no but seriously wow.