Canberra Confidential / Happy and glorious?

ROYAL Doulton ambassador Michael Doulton will be at DJs Woden on Sunday, July 20. The UK pottery company’s fifth-generation emissary’s national tour is “Celebrating Royalty”, which includes flogging what CC thinks is a funny looking royal baby figure.

Limited to only 4000 copies, the 22-centimetre, $299 model depicts the first appearance of Prince William, Catherine and the boy George on the steps of St. Mary’s Hospital, London, where the prince was born on July 22.

Though CC doesn’t feel it from the photo, the model apparently captures “the joyful expressions on the parents’ faces and the fine pinstripe on the Duke’s shirt to the white spots on the Duchess’ sky blue dress and the intense brilliance of the sapphire of her famous engagement ring.”

Best satisfaction money can buy

WELCOME to the happiest kingdom of them all. Ignore the flint hearted who fret about rising rates, spiralling Territory debt and an overpriced train set, the government is sensing nothing but enormous levels of love in all sorts of corners of the fiefdom.

CC can’t help but wonder why Jerry and his Merry Liberal Men bother to oppose the statistically amazing levels of satisfaction the activities of our wise and knowing government is enjoying.

And how do we know how much we love the things they do for us? They pay undisclosed amounts for surveys, don’t reveal the questions asked and probably tell us only the good news. And what jolly spin it is!

In the past week we discovered:

95 per cent of people are satisfied with Canberra’s municipal services, an increase on last year’s 90 per cent, according to elated TAMS Minister Shane Rattenbury, who offered to do even better.

89 per cent of people are satisfied with the National Arboretum trumpted the Chief Minister Katy Gallagher in the TAMS annual satisfaction survey, a number drawn from the 61 per cent of the 1000 respondents who had visited the arboretum in the past 12 months. A sullen six per cent were ambivalent and a thankless 5 per cent dared to be dissatisfied.

72 per cent of people in favour emboldened Rattenbury to announce possible new slow-speed precincts following “community support” for 40 km/h speed limit zones. From a statistically fraught survey of only 450 respondents, he’s discovered that most felt pedestrians and cyclists were safer since the limits were introduced. You need a survey to tell you that, Shane?

96 per cent of attendees responding to the 2014 National Multicultural Festival Spectator Survey expressed a “high degree of satisfaction” with the event, according to Multicultural Affairs grand poobah Joy Burch, topping the survey pops and statistically outshining all before her. Believe it or not.

Joe’s in a new League

HE barks all week for ACT Opposition Leader Jeremy Hanson and now Liberal media spinner and ex-radio journalist Joe Prevedello is calling Rugby League games here and in Sydney for 2CC.

“The calling is after hours only – because most of the games fall around the weekend there is no conflict and everything can be managed,” Joe tells CC. “Jeremy is happy with it.”

We look forward to his call of the next election grand final in October 2016.

Tickets for two?

WHO’S going to issue the ticket and to whom? Two police motorcycles sharing a parking spot in Kingston the other day and the expired meter raises the question, when sharing a parking space do both offenders get a ticket or can they halve it back at the station?

Tactile art in the dark

BILLED “the best installation you’ll never see”, upcoming exhibition “Touch” is presented in total darkness by eight members of Canberra’s blind and vision-impaired community and led by artist Tony Steel. Courtyard Studio, Canberra Theatre Centre, July 2-12.