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Thursday, August 16, 2012

where the heck is my turret?

So my family went to Target to walk around because when it is 109 out and smoggy it is a little bit too scorching and asthma-deadly out to go for an evening walk. So we pass by the clothing and I am again apalled by the new fashions which proves I am a way uncool crotchedy old lady in her 30s too fashionable, have too good of taste. It is like the faahionistas took a time travel machine and found the ugliest, frumpiest, wouldn't wear that to a dog fight fashions from teach fashion era, threw in some sequins, threadbaren cloth, and some convalescent home fashions and claimed it to be fashionable. Serioisly, 1980s couch fabric skinny jeans? A light pink polyester windbreaker looking cardigan with sequins?----------------------------------------anyways, I spotted many atrocious styles and stopped to fully observe a faded, been through the wash 1000 times sweater that had rough worn edges and loose threads poking out. I am so not going to pay $30 for something Goodwill would say was too worn. So I said to hubby.
ME: seriously? Look at the shoddy wuality! It is like hobo chic except I think hobos wouldsay it is too worn out to wear. Ugh.
HUBS: well it is just very Mad Max esque (btw google the movie if you're all, Mad Max, what is that?)
ME: Well it sucks. But wait if it is Mad Max, (myvoice getting louder) where the heck are the Mad Max cars? I want a turret on my Subaru. A turret darnit, wouldn't that be awesome? (A stranger glances my way and gives me the you're psycho look) yeah where the heck is my turret?
---------------------and that folks is why I probably should not be allowed in public

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About Me

True story...in kindergarten, I rolled with a Harley driving biker gang that invaded and made a campground their territory, and I got to wear a pink bandana as my "colors". I was raised by hippy intellectual parents who were artists and watched PBS, leading me to believe a degree in sociology would make millions because there were sociologists on tv...I mean, movie stars are millionaires, right? And in college, I got to hold a real mummy's hand, so goths can suck it cause have they caressed the hand of a n Egyptian mummy, the ultimate dead?
Oh and I am a mom who is kinda "crunchy granola". I bathe, use bottled soap, give my kid soda, and use disposable diapers But yeah...I breastfeed, make my own organic baby food, and drive a freakin subaru.