9.28.2008

Journey to the New World

Friday morning I made the journey from the old life to the new.I said goodbye to my mom before I got in the shower, and when I finished packing up my car I said goodbye to my dad.I gave him a peck on the cheek and a clap on the back, the way a son would. I did not get upset or weepy, because Pop considers that a sign of weakness, and he hates weakness.I managed to keep that up for about an hour into the trip, and then my cousin Gwyneth got to me.

She made me a road CD that was the first thing I played once I got in the car.Abba to Bon Jovi to Counting Crows to Disturbed and then the Cranberries… well, it actually sounded a lot like a couple of mix CD’s I’ve made for myself over the years.Everything was pretty carefree until I got to Track 12, and it caught me off guard as though I’d reached the bottom of the staircase but thought I had one more step to go.We watched a movie together Saturday, and my favorite Joni Mitchell song is on the soundtrack.I shouldn’t have been surprised to hear it, but when the first notes from “Case of You” came on that was it, and I cried through the whole song.

I don’t think it was weakness.I think it was mourning for all the things I’d dreamed that did not come to pass.Mourning is a necessary act if you want to start moving forward, and I’m moving on with my life in the most literal way possible.

On my way out of Philadelphia I noticed the way the Comcast building disappeared into the morning fog; the windows melting into the mist like a painting, incomplete on the canvas and longing to have its whole form.It was like that all day on the journey from old to new, and I saw some of the most incredible things on the way.I shed the places I knew like an old skin, leaving the Schuykill for the Turnpike and heading to points west.

I took the scenic route, and savored the things along the way as though I was enjoying a new wine.Without warning I came upon fields and fields of sunflowers, lining both sides of the highway, golden and unexpected like beacons of sunshine along the asphalt for over a mile.Mountains rose in the distance, a skyline new and unfamiliar, cloaked in fog and mysterious.As soon as I hit Maryland I could smell the most incredible barbeque, and Puppy woke up from his nap and started frantically sniffing the air looking for the heavenly source.

I turned onto this twisting highway that brings you down through the mountain, past a campsite and through the most breathtaking countryside rising up on either side of you.The foliage is so close to the road that it’s like an embrace, a caress of green and gray and brown with mist weaving its way through the leaves like a sentient thing, bright and shining off the headlamps like moonlight.This is how I came to be home.At that moment I felt that I would never leave this place.

It was the shower that sealed the deal though.The water pressure in my new apartment is so incredible that the act of cleansing is like a religious experience.I felt like the embodiment of “The Ecstasy of St. Theresa.”If I’d known any hymns, I would have sung them.As it was the tile had to settle for “Seasons of Love” from Rent.I do what I can.

Mame came in for a couple of days to help me settle in.I took her to my favorite restaurant here (hey, I find all the important shit first), and found that they had customized our menus to welcome me to the area.Classy.They gave us copies and I hung mine on the fridge.Mame forgot hers, because it takes a lot more to impress her so she really didn’t care to keep it.Okay, I was kidding about that part.

The best thing about having Mame here is that the place automatically felt like home.She helped me rearrange some furniture and unpack some boxes, but it was really her physical presence that gave the place what it needed.Friends bring what you need to where you are.Friendship, like family, isn’t a place but a feeling.

So here I am, day three of my new life.So far, I love it here.I walk Puppy and everyone I meet is very kind, and I look at the mountains off in the distance and marvel at the view.The neighbors offer me tips on what’s around and how I can find important things, like the library and the hospital.Now I’m sitting in my new apartment looking out the windows, excited to be here right before the leaves begin to change, so that we can be in metamorphosis together.

Hey Ri Ri: I'm so proud of you! I will stay in touch. In every new day you have the chance to add to your self portrait. Paint a masterpiece Maria! Love the blog. Inspirational and moving. Sooooo... perhaps you should give Danielle Steel a run for her money. Start writing books! Kisses, Cora

So gald you made it and doing well. Love the Blog. Writing is insprational and moving. Soooo...why don't you give Danielle Steel a run for her money. It is time to start the book that is inside you! Do it! I'll keep in touch. Kisses, Cora

Sounds like you're not missing a moment of your new beginning. Enjoy it, I believe wonderful things are ahead for you! And you're right. You've only left the state. Your friends are always there with, and for you! Best of luck, mama!!!!!

hey girlie,glad to hear you made it safely to your new home...keep up the blog...it is a cool thing...you should give danielle a run for her money!! keep in touch...i am here if and when you need me...

Need to get past this religion thing. She is your boss, so suck it up!!! Look at this as a huge wart on her face and look past it, not directly at it. You are meant to be a star in this company, so don't let these minor little infractions stop you from shining. Keep writing as you are GOOD at it. Start that novel, become rich and famous and take care of your Auntie in the style she would like to be accustommed to. Love ya

The Cast of Characters -- for those of you who get confused

Baby Girl: The new addition to my family, about two years younger than Puppy and WAY more mellow. Go figure.

Bearer: my cousin who has somehow inherited the burden of having to deliver bad news to everybody. Still manages to remain absolutely fierce and foxy while doing so. And raising two kids. I think I hate her just a little.

Boo Bear: My nephew, who is so cute that I actually forgive Motu for reproducing. So called because of his constant companion, a little Ty bear.

Dancer: my older cousin by marriage, so she gets out of a lot of the stupid shit we inherited. Named such because growing up, there were pictures EVERYWHERE of her in little dance costumes, so I always think of her that way. Jazz Hands!

Fashion Plate: Friend that I secretly both worship and envy because I want all her shoes and wish I could fit into her clothes. Plus, she's fit and pretty. I might actually hate her.

Feisty: Engaged to Magic Man, so called because she's an Italian spitfire just like me.

Gwyneth: my younger cousin and fellow bookstore junkie. So called because when she was blond I swore she looked like Gwyneth Paltrow from certain angles.

Magic Man: a very old friend I met through an ex who taught me to play Magic: The Gathering a decade ago. And I still suck.

Mame, aka Auntie Mame: My oldest friend -- meaning I've known her longer than anyone, not that she's ancient. The only person on the blog who already had an alter ego.

Melon Head: One of my besties in these here parts, the first person I bonded with upon moving here because she could understand me when I spoke in Sarcasm.

Motu: My baby brother. If you listen to our father talk, you would think he were the Master Of The Universe (MOTU).

Pop: I really hope you can all figure this one out on your own.

Puppy: my dog, the only man worthy enough to sleep in my bed.

Short Stack: Another of my besties who works on the same account as me, but lets me bully her like a minion.

Skinny: Motu's wife, who is obviously unbalanced in some way because she married into my family. On purpose! So called because other than that her only flaw is that she is too goddamned skinny.

Smaug: Most recent ex-boyfriend and the impetus that led me to my new life; called such because of his affection for spending all his free time smoking and hoarding his gold.