It's almost like there are these periods where our relationship is smooth and steady, and then there are times when it's like standing on the edge of this gorgeous, wonderful waterfall and just letting yourself drop, knowing that there's a safe pool of water ready to catch you at bottom. You take the plunge and you're in wayyyy over your head, but oh man, it's exhilarating, it's breathtaking, it's just incredible and you feel better than you ever have before and the water is cool and refreshing and exactly what you needed.

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the last few days. Old memories rearing their ugly heads and all that.

And then some beautiful memories popped up. The birth of my beautiful Amy. My Grammy's kitchen and her china. My sister dressing me up and teaching me makeup. My Dad teaching me the meaning of the word "love" one night when I was four years old. Watching Ethan's birth when I was eight years old. Nova Scotia and all its beauty. Meeting and falling in love with Sam.

Really, the good stuff is of so much more value.

And it occurs to me. I can choose to wallow in the filth and despair of years ago.

Or I can choose joy.

I can choose to remember the bad stuff, but not dwell on it. I can choose to wallow in the good, instead.