Spoken, I want to leave, tonight was the last straw. he treated me so badly. He has also flat out refused counseling. I need to start making plans with my dad to roll out when he least expects it. He actually spoke with my dad over a week ago claiming he would go to counseling. It was a lie.

i hope you can make plans to go with your dad. You do not need this stress during your pregnancy, and better believe you little baby can feel it as well. I agree to make the plans on the low and do not let him know you are leaving, just roll out. Hopefully your dad will be supportive and allow you to stay with him so you can get some peace of mind.

Stay strong, Indie! Remember you have another person who will be depending on you to be strong as well. Don't let this man break you! Keep pushing on...

but when we talk now its just this weird conservative vibe, got to hold back how i really feelwe're not really saying much but the ol how are you, then when that was over. there was nothing left to say but i was trying to talk to him still but once again he doesnt try like i do and he didnt respond

i guess ill always get weak and talk to him, cant ignore him for too longbut after i do i feel so... incomplete and sh*tty

like we never talk more we talk lessbut he was the only one i want to talk to, gave in and wasnt that satisfied but i guess its enough for awhile

i wish things werent like this, i miss him but its just fake small talk

I'm not excited about my pregnancy anymore because of him. It's just very depressing being around him. he does nothing productive when it comes to the baby. he has to be told to stuff. I thought just focusing on the baby would make things peaceful, but I am learning just how selfish he is.

A few more weeks left with my love. It has been a fun and interesting summer getting to learn each other and adjusting to living with one another. On the upside...I've been falling more and more in love with him each day. He isn't perfect, I'm not perfect and it hasn't been the easiest adjustment, but we communicate and that is what makes us so much stronger.

On the downside..I'm homesick as fck! lol I really want to go home and spend time with my family. It has been 3 years. My aunts and uncles are getting older, my father too...plus, as I've been studying French and adjusting to life in Paris, I've come to realize that I really need to know if relocating here to live is what I really want to do. It isn't easy..and that is the main thing for me. Doing what is best for me because at the end of the day I will need to create my own life outside of my life with him in order to make this a permanent thing and it isn't that easy... and all love aside..sh!t is difficult.

What I do know is I want to be with him. I love him and he loves me and we want to be together, but where it works for the both of us. So for now..I'm going to leave it in God's hands and continue to enjoy the rest of this time and not think about it anymore.

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