Sunday, September 9, 2012

Things change so fast.
One minute you're with him in your basement,
Watching Harry Potter (again) all snuggled up.Telling secrets.Giggling.Kissing.Happiness.
Everything is perfect and right.

And before you know it...

You're living in a big city.
You don't know anyone.
You get a job at Gold's Gym and...BAM.
Dating city.Really though.
Within two weeks,
You've been on five dates with strangers,
and have three planned for next week.
It's exciting.
It's new.
You love life.

But...

He's back in high school.You live in separate worlds.
And you know it's not going to work out.Four years is a long time.

So...

You have to let him go.
And it kills you.Or pretty close to it.
You spend a week of nail biting and rationalizing.
You crawl into your bed at night in hysterical sobs.
Over and over.
But you can't deny that this new life you live isn't fair to him.And he deserves better.Because he is the best there is.

And so it comes.

You both sit there with tears streaking down your face.Hands held tight.Never wanting to let go.
Because you know when you do,Everything will be different.
Nothing will ever be the same.

And for that one moment...

We were infinite.

I love him.I love him with every fiber of my being.I will scream it from the roof tops.He knows me better than anyone else.He is my best friend.And always will be.

That why I could do it.

Just because we don't have the title, or we don't see each other as much,Doesn't mean we will cease to exist.

This boy gave me the summer of my dreams.
He saved me from the depths of depression.He was an angel sent to me.He was mine.

But now...

Heavenly Father needs him somewhere else.
He has the ability to touch lives like no one I have ever seen.Our time is up.
He completed what Heavenly Father needed him to do.This boy put back together a broken girl.
He showed me light.
He taught me so much about who I want to be and how to get there.

Man...

I'm going to miss him.
But it's not like he died.
He's in high school.
And dating.
And playing.And living the life he should live.
I know he's happy,So I try to be.

Friday, July 27, 2012

I know, I know.I need to blog about my three week endeavor across the country.But.
Guys.
Some things can't wait.

I don't know the exact moment when it hit me.Maybe that's because it's always hitting me.I was sitting downstairs,
And I couldn't stop thinking about him.
As I kept thinking about him my stomach actually flip-flopped.
And then I thought about what my life would be like without him.
Remembered what my life was like before he saved me.
I shuttered at the thought of a life without him.
Bottom line?
I'm crazy about him.

I never expected things to get this deep.
Ever.
It's like...
We were meant for each other.
We just belong together.
Every piece fits.
He has become my entire world.
I need this summer to last forever.
I want this to last forever.