Celia Rivenbark - Justin’s just got a special view of the world

Published: Sunday, April 28, 2013 at 4:30 a.m.

Last Modified: Friday, April 26, 2013 at 8:56 a.m.

Justin Bieber followed up his well-documented visit to Anne Frank’s Amsterdam home, during which he said he hoped she would’ve been a “Belieber,” with a damage-control visit to Ground Zero, where he declared that perhaps the saddest thing about the 2,735 people perishing in the World Trade Center bombings was that every single one of them died before they could ever hear him sing “Baby.”

“Sure, the loss of life was terrible,” the Biebs tweeted, “But what’s really terrible is that not a single one of those poor souls got to hear me sing “Baby, baby, baby, oh, like baby, baby, baby, no, like baby, baby, baby, oh.”

Wearing a white undershirt and oversized trousers and looking like every thug that ever stood outside the Dollar General in a tiny Southern town, Bieber ran his little fingers through his poufy hair and said that anyone who doesn’t see how moved he is by tragedy just doesn’t know the real “Biebs.”

“It’s like when Selena and me broke up,” he said, whilst grabbing his crotch for no apparent reason. “I was hurting bad. Was I hurting as bad as Anne Frank who slowly died of typhus after hiding out from the Nazis? Hey, it’s not up to me to judge. I mean, we all go through (stuff) every day. Not all of us get to do it in an attic surrounded by our families.”

Bieber added that, “If you have to die a heinous death, Amsterdam would be the place to do it because you can buy weed over there legal on every corner. I’ll bet nobody ever talks about that side of the story. I mean it wasn’t like the WORST place to die.”

While true “Beliebers” rushed to the elfin pop star’s defense, it was difficult to escape a growing feeling of animosity toward the once-beloved mini-musician.

Seeking sympathy, Bieber reminded everyone that while he didn’t die while trying to escape persecution, he did “die of thirst” and nearly faint on a London stage this spring just seconds into “Beauty and the Beat.”

“You think that didn’t take some real courage? I mean not just outright fainting but fighting it hard and just kinda sinking to the floor? You know everybody’s hatin’ on me about this Anne Frank thing.

"But I’m pretty sure that, yeah, she would’ve been a Belieber AND she would’ve totally dug the way I fight through my own adversity. I mean she wrote one diary. I’ve written, like, a ton of songs. You do the math.”

Bieber has had a tough year in the public relations department, including a scuffle with a photographer, driving his Ferrari recklessly, showing up two hours late for a London concert, spitting at a California neighbor and, perhaps worst of all, smuggling his pet monkey into Germany where it had to be quarantined.

<p>Justin Bieber followed up his well-documented visit to Anne Frank's Amsterdam home, during which he said he hoped she would've been a “Belieber,” with a damage-control visit to Ground Zero, where he declared that perhaps the saddest thing about the 2,735 people perishing in the World Trade Center bombings was that every single one of them died before they could ever hear him sing “Baby.”</p><p>“Sure, the loss of life was terrible,” the Biebs tweeted, “But what's really terrible is that not a single one of those poor souls got to hear me sing “Baby, baby, baby, oh, like baby, baby, baby, no, like baby, baby, baby, oh.”</p><p>Wearing a white undershirt and oversized trousers and looking like every thug that ever stood outside the Dollar General in a tiny Southern town, Bieber ran his little fingers through his poufy hair and said that anyone who doesn't see how moved he is by tragedy just doesn't know the real “Biebs.”</p><p>“It's like when Selena and me broke up,” he said, whilst grabbing his crotch for no apparent reason. “I was hurting bad. Was I hurting as bad as Anne Frank who slowly died of typhus after hiding out from the Nazis? Hey, it's not up to me to judge. I mean, we all go through (stuff) every day. Not all of us get to do it in an attic surrounded by our families.”</p><p>Bieber added that, “If you have to die a heinous death, Amsterdam would be the place to do it because you can buy weed over there legal on every corner. I'll bet nobody ever talks about that side of the story. I mean it wasn't like the WORST place to die.”</p><p>While true “Beliebers” rushed to the elfin pop star's defense, it was difficult to escape a growing feeling of animosity toward the once-beloved mini-musician.</p><p>Seeking sympathy, Bieber reminded everyone that while he didn't die while trying to escape persecution, he did “die of thirst” and nearly faint on a London stage this spring just seconds into “Beauty and the Beat.”</p><p>“You think that didn't take some real courage? I mean not just outright fainting but fighting it hard and just kinda sinking to the floor? You know everybody's hatin' on me about this Anne Frank thing.</p><p>"But I'm pretty sure that, yeah, she would've been a Belieber AND she would've totally dug the way I fight through my own adversity. I mean she wrote one diary. I've written, like, a ton of songs. You do the math.”</p><p>Bieber has had a tough year in the public relations department, including a scuffle with a photographer, driving his Ferrari recklessly, showing up two hours late for a London concert, spitting at a California neighbor and, perhaps worst of all, smuggling his pet monkey into Germany where it had to be quarantined.</p><p>“Anne Frank wasn't cool enough to have a pet monkey,” said Bieber.</p><p>“And yet I'm the bad guy.”</p><p><a href="http://www.starnewsonline.com/section/topic36"><b>Celia Rivenbark</b></a> is the author of the upcoming etiquette manual “Rude Bitches Make Me Tired.” Visit www.CeliaRivenbark.com.</p>