Peter Oborne's 2008 Almanac - who will do what next year

As is traditional at this time of year, our brilliant political columnist gets out his trusty crystal ball and peers into the future

JANUARY

Government loses entire nation's medical records. They have been stored on disc as part of the NHS 'connecting for health' computer programme.

Disaster strikes for Labour as key party officials are arrested by police investigating the donorgate scandal.

Thousands of files are taken away from offices in central London. Gordon Brown promises to 'co-operate 100 per cent' with police in their inquiries.

Scotland Yard sources state that David Abrahams, the Newcastle property developer who secretly gave £675,000 to the party, is not under suspicion.

The tycoon celebrates by appearing on BBC TV's Have I Got News For You. Meanwhile, David Cameron's Tory Party soars to a 12-point lead in the opinion polls.

FEBRUARY

Gordon Brown's Government suffers heavy defeat in the Commons over plans for detaining terror suspects without charge for 42 days, following a huge rebellion by Labour MPs.

Health Secretary Alan Johnson is forced to make an emergency statement to the Commons after the lost NHS records are published on the internet by a blogger in Minnesota.

In a bid to repair the damage, Alastair Campbell is brought back into the No 10 operation as a part-time strategist, and Gordon Brown's close friend Wilf Stevenson as chief of staff. The Tory lead in the polls rises to 15 per cent.

It emerges that Tony and Cherie Blair have bought a country mansion, complete with private Catholic chapel.

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MARCH

Stockmarket loses 10 per cent of its value after reports that two High Street banks are on the verge of collapse.

Chancellor Alistair Darling tries to restore calm in the Budget, but his plans go badly wrong when it is revealed that the Government has set aside £40billion of taxpayers' money - the equivalent of a 12p-in-the-pound rise in income tax - to pay for the Northern Rock fiasco.

British public borrowing set to rise to £50 billion in 2008, while the Government growth forecast is slashed to 2 per cent from 2.75 per cent for 2008/9.

Labour's standing in the polls collapses to 28 per cent - 20 points lower than the Tories and worse than under the leadership of Michael Foot.

Reports emerge that the Prime Minister has been shouting at close aides, who he blames for the setback.

APRIL

Newspaper reports that Foreign Secretary David Miliband is being lined up as an emergency replacement as Prime Minister are strongly denied.

Meanwhile, Labour Party lays off 50 staff as it faces financial crisis after donations dry up.

Tony Blair is said to be earning £1 million a month on the speech-making circuit.

However, Cherie insists the Blairs are 'poor as church mice'. Middle East peace process in jeopardy as Blair's money-making commitments leave little time to visit his Jerusalem offices.

Relief comes for the Government after it secures victory in debate over European Treaty - but only after LibDem leader Nick Clegg saves the day by taking his party into government lobbies. The Tory lead in the polls suddenly sinks to just 10 per cent.

The Crown Prosecution Service sends tremors through Westminster with announcement that charges are to be brought in the 'donorgate' scandal. House prices down 5 per cent on last month.

MAY

Labour loses hundreds of seats in local elections. Massive victory for Conservatives after Boris Johnson, to widespread amazement, sweeps to victory as London mayor.

Labour MPs heap blame on Gordon Brown for the disaster.

The Labour MP Frank Field defects to join David Cameron's shadow cabinet as welfare spokesman. Unconfirmed reports emerge from Downing Street that Gordon Brown has been hurling crockery across the Cabinet room.

Foreign Secretary David Miliband publishes a statement expressing his 'full confidence' in the Prime Minister.

Raith Rovers, Gordon Brown's favourite football team, go into liquidation and are relegated. In an emergence statement, the Treasury reveals that the cost of the Northern Rock debacle has soared to £50 billion.

Top Labour donor Sir Ronald Cohen jumps ship, saying that he now supports David Cameron, and not Gordon Brown.

Middle East peace process collapses. However, Tony Blair joins board of Carlisle, the U.S. private equity group part-owned by Bush family interests.

This appointment is overshadowed, however, by feverish plotting in the House of Commons against Gordon Brown. Labour MPs threaten no confidence motion at Labour Party Conference unless he steps down voluntarily.

AUGUST

Nick Clegg loses his job. New Chancellor David Miliband announces that Government has now lost £60 billion, or £1,500 for every British voter, on the Northern Rock fiasco.

Hillary Clinton's presidential bid collapses amid chaotic scenes at the Democratic Convention in Denver, after her party concludes she is unelectable.

Former Vice President Al Gore called in as last-minute replacement and immediately established 20-point lead in opinion polls over the Republicans.

Meanwhile, in Britain, Labour sink to even bigger deficit in the polls.

Downing Street is forced to issue a formal denial that the Prime Minister has physically assaulted a Downing Street doorkeeper. Tony and Cherie Blair buy a Caribbean island.

SEPTEMBER

Criminal trial at the Old Bailey of Labour Party officials accused of breaking the law in connection with donorgate affair.

Gordon Brown sensationally called to the witness box and becomes the first Prime Minister in history to testify in a criminal trial.

Tony Blair also gives evidence, along with several members of the Cabinet.

Downing Street denies reports that the Prime Minister has physically assaulted Chancellor of the Exchequer David Miliband with his 'clunking great fist'. House prices collapse another 10 per cent.

OCTOBER

National celebrations as Buckingham Palace announces that Prince William and Kate Middleton are to marry.

The former security minister, Admiral West, reveals his plans to join the Tory Party.

He says he was only a 'simple sailor' who'd intended to join the Tories all along. Gordon Brown survives a torrid Labour Conference.