Ex-Marine captain gives others a voice

Kristen Kavanaugh of the Military Acceptance Project is a keynote speaker for San Diego Women's Week

Kristen Kavanaugh, 34, is executive director of San Diego's Military Acceptance Project. It's a volunteer-run group that seeks to encourage full inclusion for military service members who may face discrimination for their sexuality, race, ethnicity or religion. Kristen, a former Marine Corps captain, served 5 years without revealing she was lesbian. Kavanaugh is a keynote speaker at San Diego Women's Week.
— John Gastaldo

Kristen Kavanaugh, 34, is executive director of San Diego's Military Acceptance Project. It's a volunteer-run group that seeks to encourage full inclusion for military service members who may face discrimination for their sexuality, race, ethnicity or religion. Kristen, a former Marine Corps captain, served 5 years without revealing she was lesbian. Kavanaugh is a keynote speaker at San Diego Women's Week.
— John Gastaldo

CITY HEIGHTS  When Kristen Kavanaugh was a junior in high school, she toured the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis, Md., and it changed her life.

“From the moment I walked on the campus I was sold,” said Kavanaugh, who’s now 34. “There was something about being on the yard. It was a calling. I felt like I belonged.”

Except, she didn’t. As a closeted lesbian during the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” era, she lied to protect her secret through four years at Annapolis and five years in the Marine Corps as a budget officer. Unable to serve in silence any longer, she left the service in 2007. Today, the married City Heights resident heads up the Military Acceptance Project, a San Diego nonprofit that promotes inclusiveness for military personnel who feel isolated from their peers for reasons of sexuality, ethnicity, race, religion or personal trauma.

“This isn’t just a gay issue. There are lots of people who go to work every day and don’t feel accepted by their peers,” she said. “We’ve all been there where we felt left out for whatever reason. The Military Acceptance Project is here to help people make that connection.”

Kristen Kavanaugh, executive director of San Diego's Military Acceptance Project, outside her City Heights home.
— John Gastaldo

Kristen Kavanaugh, executive director of San Diego's Military Acceptance Project, outside her City Heights home.
— John Gastaldo

Kavanaugh is a keynote speaker at 2014 San Diego Women’s Week, which runs March 17-21. The annual event — which draws more than 1,500 Southern California women — will include evening programs in North County on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, and as well as an all-day conference on Friday in Valley Center. Among the diverse mix of speakers is abduction survivor Elizabeth Smart, TV stars Suzanne Somers and Kim Coles, District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis, Sharp Health CEO Melissa Hayden-Cook, Palomar College Dean Wilma Owens and authors Piper Kerman and Kimberly Dozier.

This year’s conference is titled “Inspire, Empower, Connect,” and conference organizer Debra Rosen said Kavanaugh is a perfect embodiment of the theme.

“Kristen is an amazing woman,” said Rosen, who is president and CEO of the San Diego North Chamber of Commerce, which hosts and produces Women's Week. “She is an articulate and passionate individual who rose through the ranks of the military to become a captain and then walked away for something that she believed so strongly in. This takes guts and a strong belief in yourself to do, and she has now carried a message that is relevant to many.”

Raised the daughter of an Army National Guardsman in Ironton, Ohio, Kavanaugh said she always liked the military. And when she first talked to her dad about attending Annapolis, “his eyes lit up.” In her freshman year at the Academy she decided to become a Marine.

“I liked how they held themselves to a higher standard. There was something about their drive and determination resonated with me,” she said.

In her sophomore year, she realized she was gay but her drive to be a Marine overrode her fears.

“I knew what I’d be up against but I made the decision because I was passionate about the Marine Corps. I felt giving up a part of myself was an appropriate sacrifice for serving my country,” she said.