May 20, 2005

Random Thoughts

Most of you can't take one more day of my whining about my near death experience with illness so I've decided to treat you to the myriad of thoughts that soar around in my brain, crashing into each other and basically causing a big, unorganized mess. It's a belated Spring Cleaning of the mind and you get to watch. Aren't I thoughtful?

**Is anyone else still floored by the idea of The Weather Channel? I love weather just like anyone else and I'm curious to see the forecast for the day or week along with my fellow citizen but honestly...24 hours of weather? You get a weather update for your area every 10 minutes, (Local on the 8's or whatever their snazzy little tagline is) and you get the national weather report for hours a day where the only change is who's reporting it. Or am I missing something when I look out my window? Does weather change that often that I need 24 hour access to it?

Weatherman: Hi everyone, I'm Bob. Today across the plains there will be a slight chance of rain, and in the south, you guys will be enjoying a beautiful 80 degree day with slight breezes.

Anchor: Thank you Bob. Now let's go to weather.

Weatherman: Hi, Bob here. It has been 5 seconds since I last saw you and boy do I have some updates. In the plains there has been a report of 6 raindrops and in the south the temperature has soared from 80 to 80.5. I could repeat the forecast for the upcoming week but that really is pointless since we can only have a three hour window of accuracy. Back to you.

Anchor: Thank you Bob. In other news, it looks like the plains will be experiencing a slight chance of showers....

Ok, ok, so they have that really cool show called Storm Stories and that sucks down a few hours but that still leaves you with 21-22 hours of non stop weather reports. This is like watching the TV Guide channel all day long thinking that if you look away for a moment, the line up might suddenly change.

**Why is it when I look my absolute worst, say I'm sick or have a sunburn or am rewarded with the world's largest zit or even better, a stunning and gorgeous cold sore, all the best looking men come out of hiding? Yet when I look radiant and smokin' hot they are nowhere to be found? Is this some sort of cosmic joke?

**If everyone really does enjoy walking around the house in their underwear, why don't we just do it all the time? Imagine how much more relaxed and humble we would be. I think it's the answer to world peace. Check out the photo of Saddam in his underwear on the Sun's front page. Not such a scary tyrant anymore is he?

**One time, (at band camp), when I was a kid, my brother and I decided to find the answer to the question that has plagued us all for decades. We got a tootsie roll tootsie pop and counted just how many licks it does take to get to the center. I can assure you it is more than three but I am unfortunately not at liberty to divulge the answer. The point of the thought is, however, do you think that maybe I should call my mother up and inform her that this is what happens when you don't buy your kid the annually requested pony? Instead of being out in the fresh air and learning about compassion, responsibility and care of another living thing, I was sitting at the dining room table licking hard candy while my brother made slash marks with a pencil on a piece of paper for every swipe of the tongue. Do you think this constitutes as neglect?

**Why are scary stories less scary in the daytime?

**If a tree fell in a forest, far, far away and no one was around to hear it, would anyone read this blog?

You've never lived in the Midwest. I had Picture in Picture and kept the weather channel in the lower corner at all times. Tornadoes like to sneak up on you (usually at night) and you have to be ready! And yes, the weather over there DOES change every 5 minutes. It's annoying