Pages

Monday, September 2, 2013

Absolutely Heartbroken

So if you've read my blog for a while or if you actually know me in person you know partially what my life history is kinda like. I come to you today with terribly sad news.I got 3-4 calls from my mum today, the first one I answered at 11:30am and she was already drunk.Calls from her continue and are rejected until I get home half an hour ago. Turns out she was in a taxi being "chatty" and the driver kicked her out halfway through the trip (meaning she was being rude and seeing as she said several times that he was a "Leb" and that "Lebs are rude", I can absolutely justify his choice), then sat in a gutter and called my father with terrible instructions of where to find her to help her get home, complaining of hip pains (legitimate problem used to disguise her drunkenness).So my father brings the dog and walks my mother home to my younger brother who has been stuck waiting at home for 2 hours for her to come back and make him dinner.I don't know what it will take to get through to my mum that she honestly has to stop and she absolutely cannot drink, but it's getting beyond ridiculous. It is utterly soul wrenching knowing that we're going through this again and I've gotten to a stage of resignation that I just want to take my brother and leave my mother to sort herself out, even knowing she would kill herself in a matter of months if she had nothing to hold composure for.I am angry and personally hurt at my mother's daft decision. What she's doing is entirely selfish and heartless and as much as I wish I could hate her for it, I know it's out of love that I'm angry with her and I'll probably always love her.