cnn

Dude had to get talked out of getting a nipple piercing at one point. And my personal favorite part of this whole catastrophe..."People are saying that I'm lit," Lemon said. "Yeah, I'm lit. Who cares?"

Everyone knows that Vincent van Gogh cut his own ear off, but until recently, no one really knew why. The mystery has been the subject of much conversation, which has been, admittedly, just so much fun to talk about and reference. Why would anyone want to spoil it?

Well, author Martin Bailey does, and he thinks that he stumbled on the inciting incident while doing research for his new book, Studio of the South: Van Gogh in Provence. He believes that on Christmas eve in 1888, after finding out that his brother Theo was getting married, Van Gogh took a razor to the head. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, Van Gogh was livid that he would lose his closest companion, making the mystery behind this horrific act less fun than it used to be.

This theory came about when Bailey learned of a letter from Theo to Vincent dated just days before the act of self-mutilation occurred. The letter was received on December 23, 1888. Bailey simply put two and two together.

“We don’t have that letter," Bailey told CNN. "But in another one Van Gogh sends in January, he mentions receiving money from his brother on the 23rd of December. It was fear that pulled the trigger and led to the breakdown. Fear of being abandoned in both an emotional and financial way.”

I guess that just puts an end to all the fun of why one of history’s great artist cut his own ear off. Yeesh. This is us, rn:

Take a look behind the scenes of presidential campaign commercial production in this awkward video!

The footage comes from a reel of uncut material published by Cruz for use by Super PACs in political ads. Super PACs are independently funded political action committees who support candidates indirectly through those ads you see on tv every election year. You know, the ones that come with that "paid for by the people for candidate x" disclaimer at the end of every commercial. Candidates are legally not allowed to coordinate with these independent committees on campaign ads, so they release footage of themselves on sites like YouTube. This means the video is in the public domain and becomes fair game not only for Super PACs to use, but in this case for CNN to put together into a delightfully awkward super cut.

That's probably the last thing you will hear right before this video is aired on live television, as the the zombies tear through your neighborhood, the aliens blast through the White House or a giant asteroid crashes into the Earth's surface.

Jalopnik writer Michael Ballaban, who used to be an intern at The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer, has unearthed this "Doomsday Video" that CNN will reportedly play at the end of the world. He found it on their database one day with a note to "HFR [hold for release] till end of the world confirmed."

Regarding their final broadcast, CNN's founder Ted Turner once told The New Yorker:

"Normally, when a TV station begins and ends the broadcast day, it signs on and off by playing the national anthem. But with CNN — a 24-hour-a-day channel — we would only sign off once, and I knew what that would mean. So we got the combined Armed Forces marching bands together — the Army, Navy, Marine and Air Force bands — and took them out to the old CNN headquarters, and we had them practice the national anthem for a videotaping. Then, as things cranked up, I asked if they'd play 'Nearer, My God, to Thee' to put on videotape just in case the world ever came to an end. That would be the last thing CNN played before we — before we signed off."

In a note on the site, Ballaban says they won't disclose any details about who actually leaked the video to them.

"It's not something we've been sitting on since I was an intern in 2009. While I've been aware of its existence since then, it was only acquired after I came onboard here at Jalopnik," he writes.

Anderson Cooper, silver fox, CNN anchor and king of on-air giggle fits, was surprised by his staff this week, when he realized the "Ridiculist" segment was about himself.
He began the piece thinking that he was about to discuss workplace annoyances, but the camera then revealed his own desk with a lit, basil-scented candle that apparently everyone else on his staff hates.
"Somebody told me I smelled," he said in response. "So that's why I got the candle."