New Rapper $$$$$ Can't Find Himself on Google

Citing rappers A$AP Rocky, Joey Bada$$ and Trinidad Jame$ as influences, aspiring 16-year-old Brooklyn rapper Kevin Lynch has worked for months under the name $$$$$, only to realize last Friday that his name was impossible to find on Google.

The rapper, who followed up last month's mixtape Dolla $$$$$ign$$$$$ with his latest album Ki$$$$$ My A$$$$$, had already registered www.$$$$$.com and twitter.com/$$$$$ when he made the fateful error last week.

"Every single rapper now has a dollar sign in their name for some reason I still don't really understand," said the rapper. "I was wondering why no traffic came in from Google. When I went to search for myself, it came back with zero results. What the f-ck? I did not think this one out at all."

The rapper tells Fuse he is considering changing his name to be more search-friendly, with the names "Rapper" and "The" currently the front-runners.

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