WE know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “what crazy, lame-ass, and/or opposite kind of music-related video will I be subjected to after spending the entire weekend enjoying the delightful DJ LAMPSHA’S fabulous spin, which featured the sweet and oh-so-catchy musical stylings of DAN WILSON?” Are we right, or are we right? We’re right. We know we’re right. You know we’re right. Hell, the American People know we’re right. And, far be it from us to disappoint. Which means, of course, it’s time to hang on to your ear muffs, boys and girls — you’re in for a questionable treat.

FOR your enjoyment and/or dismay, we are extremely pleased to provide a fabulous animated piece, somewhat offensively titled: THE THREE LITTLE DWARFS* — a vintage cartoon featuring 3 Santa’s helpers named Hardrock, Coco & Joe. Hardrock. Coco. And… Joe. A while ago (last year?) we were fortunate to stumble upon this very old, very black & white clip while scrounging around on the YouTube, and, we confess, we’re mighty glad we did. Seriously, this clip is a hoot, and a charming one, at that.

From what we gleaned after hastily scanning the website linked above, The Three Little Dwarfs aired on 2 children’s shows — Bozo and Garfield Goose — which were pretty much limited to the Chicago area in the early ’50’s. Of course, we could be talking out of our asses, right now, but we don’t think so. We grew up in California, we watched a shitload of stupid kids’ shows (as opposed to shows for stupid kids), and we know we never saw a ‘toon about guys named Hardrock, Coco & Joe. So wait… that makes TWO things we know today, right? What we watched and/or didn’t watch when we were growing up, and what you were thinking two paragraphs ago. Wow. We’re good.

WE realize this is supposed to be a cute/family-oriented cartoon, but are we the only ones who think Santa looks really creepy? Or that bringing “Joe” along because he loves him so (sung while “Joe” produces a very large candy cane from behind his back) is disturbing? Or that Hardrock, Coco & Joe would make a good name for a porn flick? (not that we’ve ever seen one ourselves, mind you, but we hear things) Oh-lee-Oh-lady, Oh-lady-I… Oh!

PS: if The Three Little Dwarfs is too weird, you might prefer something like the charming-yet-none-too-dazzling SUZY SNOWFLAKE. A bit of animation we think we could replicate with an old Barbie doll and some construction paper. This version is fun/cute-yet-badly drawn, too. But hey, maybe that’s just us — you kids might find both Suzys dee-lightful. That said, according to Hardrock, Miss Snowflake’s quite the whore, with a kinky fixation on — and we quote — “snow balls“.

~snuppy

Hardrock got lost looking for his café, but finally caught up with Coco and Joe at Humor-blogs.com. Those Dwarfs…

*Your eyes don’t deceive you, this IS a reworked version of a mildly brilliant post we did last year. But, what with the holidays and/or all our new “friends” — not to mention the fact that this video is HILARIOUS — we didn’t think anyone would mind too terribly much. Hey, a blog’s gotta do what a blog’s gotta do… are we right or are we right?

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sorry for the rerun… oh wait, no i’m not! i lovelovelove this stupid cartoon, and thought it would make for a nice Holiday Tradition to show it again. besides, there are many of you kids who haven’t seen it yet, so, y’know… enjoy. 😉

(okay, so maybe i figured the Harmonica Man would surprise me with a last minute post and so i didn’t give a second thought to what should go up today… d’oh!)

ALSO CLICK ON TO THAT STUPID, FUTHER-MUCKING HUMOR-BLOGS LINK, pleeeeeeeeeeease? Diesel tells me the reason we’ve “dropped” down to such a low spot is because no one clicks the link. I say that’s a lie from the pits of hell, because i click on it all the time, yet, according to the page explaining the humor-blogs particulars, we’ve only had one click in the past 7 days. what??? that can’t be right. so click away, kids. click like there’s no tomorrow. i figure the only way to prove him wrong is to flood the site then watch as our sorry little avatar continues to drop like the New Year’s Eve crystal ball in Times Square. aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. 🙄

Hardrock, Coco, and Joe has become a new favorite tradition, for sure! Pretty sure I had a nightmare just like this clip when I was a kid. Today’s nightmare is I now can’t get the little ditty of a song out of my head – thanks Snup.

Boy, a guy writes a few little posts and all of a sudden you’re relying on them? 😉 (you know I’m kidding of course)

Actually I would have, but as you know I’ve been up to my ass in a messy bathroom remodeling project and haven’t had a spare second to myself. In fact, that’s all my poor readers have had to hear about for the last 2 weeks!

Maybe if you’ve been a good girl this year, they’ll be a little something in your stocking for next week

And what is up with elves having to make the toys but the damn dwarves getting to ride in the sleigh? How is that even close to fair?

The funniest thing about this is that you can just hear the writers thinking, “Man, 50 years from now, people will still be singing about the three lovable dwarves… Hardcastle, Cuckoo and old useless whatshisface.”

Claire, I kept wondering that myself! You know this is now a classic in TheSnark Holidaython. Be careful what you say about Suzy Snowflake though – she has quite the following according to the comments under her video.

I’ve been clicking on that link whenever I come through and sometimes I throw a few back and forth clicks to see if that helps. So wassup Diesel? Show us some love.