Well THAT certainly came out of left field...3.4.5.Cristmas Crazy 5

I got off the Debil around the time I got pregnant, so about a year and a half ago. The deactivation was mostly due to family being a pain in my ass, judging and gossiping about me talking out of my ass in random statuses, etc. Recently, with the launch of my business I reactivated my account. All has been pretty calm, and I am very careful about what gets posted on my personal page.

Monday, I was checking my messages when I noticed a second tab on the message page. Most messages (like the ones from friends) appear under "Inbox" but apparently there is also a folder for non-friends and spam called "Other." Out of curiousity, I clicked other. Here's the message I received:

"I don't know how your going to take this but if I'm correct you are my sister.. J____ B____ is our father ?!"

For those familiar with my background, I have never met my father nor do I (up until now) know anything about who he may be. Secrets and rug-sweeping were/are very much how my family handles "problems."

I talked to this girl, let's call her B, for about an hour. She knew so much about me - when I was adopted, my mother, the old lady who my mother and I used to stay with when I was around 3 or 4... stuff that most people would absolutely never know about me (I don't even think DH knew about the old lady until this week). It turns out there is also a set of twins in their late twenties, B, a younger girl and a younger boy. Only the younger two seem to have the same mother.

I was very curious to know how B even knew I existed. She grew up in foster care and when she was around 16, her foster family wanted to adopt her. She asked her father to sign over rights, when he slipped and said, "I've already signed my rights over for one of my kids, I won't do it again!" She and one of the twins eventually found out more about me after their grandmother died; they were upset that my name was not included on list of survivors and began to pry for info.

There are so many feelings right now... happy, skeptic, hopeful, scared. This stuff happens in movies and Maury all the time, but I never thought it would happen to me. Even though I have hoped it would, it was only a dream... now it's real and I don't know what to do. Contact him? Meet him? I just don't know...

I guess there's really no question here but any advice is welcome. If you have been through something similar, I'd love to hear about your experiences.

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Claiming that someone else's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet.

Wow. I went through something similar about 2 years ago. My bio dads family found me through a forum I have been a member of for years. I even found out I have a half brother along with a half sister who I knew about.

I was adopted as a baby, and as an adult, through a lot of research as well as guesswork and just plain luck, found my birth mother and learned I had five siblings. It saved my life - but that was because my experience with adopted FOO was a nightmare out of a CPS horror story handbook. It validated so much about who I was, my appearance, traits, mannerisms... but most importantly I knew that at last I was not alone. I hope this goes well for you. Feel free to PAN if you like. Good luck!

Why would you contact *him*? He isn't the one who made the effort to find you, he put you up for adoption, he wasn't a good father to her obviously since she was in foster care. And then, instead of letting her go to a foster family that wanted to adopt her at 16 (do you know how rare that is?) he refused for his own selfish reasons!!

I would certainly keep in touch with her and meet the other siblings if they are open to it, but don't put yourself out there to be hurt by this asshole.

Wow. Just wow. I can't begin to imagine the range of emotions you're feeling right now. All I've got are hugs.

I have no experience with this kind of thing, but I knew someone who did. I was very close with my maternal grandpa. His father took off when he was two and he never knew him. When he was 80 years old he was contacted by a women who turned out to be his half sister and found out he had 5 half siblings he never knew about. He was absolutely shocked. He wasn't able to travel at that point, but the sister who contacted him came out to visit him and he talked to and got to know all his new found siblings. It was a cathartic experience for him. He got to learn a lot about the father he never knew, but it also brought out a lot of latent anger he felt towards his dad.

I have no advice to give here, but I hope you can figure out what you want to do! (((HUGS))))

My mom never knew her Bio father. I recently facebook stalked his other children using info from his obit. I messaged one of my aunts. I know its in her "other" folder and she may never see it. I don't know how to proceed because I have no idea if they know my mother exists.

I understand the comment wondering why I would contact him. There's so much I don't know about the situation, but I believe he was probably pressured by maternal GPs to sign rights over. He did put me up for adoption, that much I know. My mother and her ex husband are the ones that signed their rights over to my GPs when I was 8.

If I were to contact him, my immediate concern would not be to have a relationship. Mostly I'm interested in learning about exactly what happened (well, his side at least) and medical history. I don't know how much info he could really give me aside from his own med history as he too was adopted at 6 months, according to B.

Mostly I want to know. Just know. I don't want to wonder anymore. I have been wondering for nearly 12 years since my brother got drunk and let it slip that my lol bro and I didn't have the same father.

I really feel like this is legit... B is me when I was 19, except she has her father's startling blue eyes. Nose, teeth, even our hair curls the same way.

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Claiming that someone else's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet.