Tag: religion

First off. Let’s pretend I didn’t just spend 15 minutes finding a title for this series. Thesaurus.com anyone? Alliteration anyone?

I had a great discussion with my bff today about dreams after listening to this week’s Oprah Supersoul Sunday podcast and thinking… ‘Shit. I’m not sure I HAVE dreams! What does that even mean!?’ (As in the ‘hopes and….’ – – not the nighttime ones. I have PLENTY of those!)

Our talk got cut a bit short because of stupid work and life, but I’m still a little hung up on the difference between dreams and ‘stuff I want to do someday.’ I think the ‘stuff I want to do someday’ list could be endless!

Swim around WILD dolphins (Don’t even get me started on those horrible ‘swim with a sad caged creature ‘experiences’)

Live in someplace other than Maine, and then maybe someplace other than that!

Travel to Europe, Thailand, the Philippines, India (maybe), Iceland, the Galapagos (will never happen), the Island where they filmed Jurassic Park (could happen but that boat ride is a DOOZY)

Sit in those cool recliney seats in first class with the screen in-between so when I annoy Lonnie and his Sudoku too much with my chatter, he can close the screen on me 😀

…..like I said, that list could go on….. and on……..

Dreams seem like they should be BIGGER.

The only “dream” I could come up with is that I would like to write a book someday. This is why I blog. I love to write and cannot wrap my head around the giant task of a whole book. My blog is my half-assed book.

Then there are daydreams. Are those dreams? My most common one (the one I fall asleep to many nights) is Lonnie and I living on a small island as caretakers of a small resort or estate. Catching fish with spears and digging for shellfish to catch our dinner to cook with stuff from our garden 🙂 No internet. Naps in hammocks. Occasional trips to civilization for supplies. :::::sigh:::::

“Die in a fire, faggot!” “Kill yourself!” I laugh with them as they read through the comments on their videos. Peppered into the laughter are statements of disregard for those who say these things. Disregard certainly painted on as armor; layer-by-layer, with each comment, each look of disgust, each rejection.

But why? How does Jeffree Starr’s pink hair and outrageous behavior affect someone’s sense-of-being so much that they want him to die? How does Manny MUA’s winged eyeliner and just-a-little-too-orange foundation make someone tell him to hang himself? I know people who think this way. Feel this way. I have disassociated myself from most of them, but the nature of my job as a crisis worker often puts me eye-to-eye with statements like those above. I have asked the question; Why? I have never gotten a real answer. “The bible says so!” “It’s not natural!” “It’s just creepy.” I take particular exception to those who wave the bible while spewing their bullshit. I {unfortunately-but that is a blog for another day} went to a Christian school and Sunday school for many years. I even went to church camp. I know what the bible says, and doesn’t say. I also know those same people wave that bible, don’t live the teachings of the book. None of them are spewing their venom at divorced people, or people who didn’t wait until marriage for sex, or cheaters.

I believe everyone does everything for a reason. Why does one person just think, “Ok, too weird for me.” and change the channel, or pray for Jeffree Starr’s soul, while another takes the time to type something hateful, or even threatening? My opinion; anger is their armor. Armor built of fear of things that are weird or different, causing feelings of discomfort. “Fucking Faggot,” gets out that discomfort. Puts you on the offense. Quickly dismisses any actual consideration of that person as a fellow human with a life, a story. Quickly dismisses the possibility that maybe you share similarities. Quickly dismisses your mind from wandering to places you fear.

Me

I am a 40 something (yikers!) year old divorced, and then re-married, mom of two, Sean and Jessi. A lot of my blog is focused on my struggle with my weight. Another lot of my blog is focused on my journey to better myself in other aspects of my life. I spent the first half of my life angry and bitter, with big splashes of fun to hold it together. In this half, I've kept the fun and put in the work on myself to kiss the angry, bitter bitch goodbye!
I have been blogging since 2006ish on my on Porchrockers blogger blog. I love blogging and I loved that blog, but my life has changed so much that it just didn't fit me anymore so I created a shiny new blog to match my shiny new life!