More Sex Than the Norm = Perceived Happiness

A new research study finds that people are happier when they perceive they are having more sex than their peers.

As has been well-documented with income, the happiness linked with having more sex can rise or fall depending on how individuals believe they measure up to their peers, said Dr. Tim Wadsworth, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Colorado Boulder.

But he also found that even after controlling for their own sexual frequency, people who believed they were having less sex than their peers were unhappier than those who believed they were having as much or more than their peers.

“There’s an overall increase in sense of well-being that comes with engaging in sex more frequently, but there’s also this relative aspect to it,” he said.

“Having more sex makes us happy, but thinking that we are having more sex than other people makes us even happier.”

Wadsworth analyzed data from the General Social Survey — a survey of American perceptions since 1972. All respondents in all years are asked whether they are “very happy, pretty happy or not too happy.”

The survey has included questions about sexual frequency since 1989. Wadsworth’s sample included 15,386 people who were surveyed between 1993 and 2006.

After controlling for many other factors, including income, education, marital status, health, age, race and other characteristics, respondents who reported having sex at least two to three times a month were 33 percent more likely to report a higher level of happiness than those who reported having no sex during the previous 12 months.

Wadsworth found that the happiness effect appears to rise with sexual frequency. For example, compared to those who had no sex in the previous year, those reporting once a week sex were 44 percent more likely to report a higher level of happiness.

Those reporting having sex two to three times a week are 55 percent more likely to report a higher level of happiness.

But while personal income can be inferred by a neighbor’s flashy new car or home renovation, sex is a more cloistered activity. So how do, say, men or women in their 20s know how frequently their peers have sex?

The answer, according to Wadsworth, is mass media and other sources of information. For instance, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men’s Health, Men’s Journal and The AARP Magazine — with a combined circulation of 30 million—frequently report the results of their own or others’ sex surveys.

Television and film depictions might also play a role, and, Wadsworth writes, “there is plenty of evidence that information concerning normative sexual behavior is learned through discussions within peer groups and friendship networks.”

As a result of this knowledge, if members of a peer group are having sex two to three times a month but believe their peers are on a once-weekly schedule, their probability of reporting a higher level of happiness falls by about 14 percent, Wadsworth found.

Wadsworth comments that although the data do not necessarily prove that social comparisons cause the effects he observed, “I can’t think of a better explanation for why how much sex other people are having would influence a person’s happiness.”

The way most people engage in social comparison can be problematic, he noted. “We’re usually not looking down and therefore thinking of ourselves as better off, but we’re usually looking up and therefore feeling insufficient and inadequate.”

Nevertheless, people are social creatures and any sense of self or identity is dependent on others. In his introductory sociology classes, Wadsworth asks students to write three adjectives, any adjectives, to describe themselves.

“And then I ask them, ‘Do your adjectives have any meaning whatsoever if you’re alone on a desert island, in the sense that there’s no one to compare yourself to?’ ”

Regardless of the adjective — attractive, smart, funny, poor — “these things are meaningful only if there’s some sense of what other people are like,” he said.

“As such, we can only be wealthy if others are poor, or sexually active if others are inactive.”

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 16 Apr 2013 Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.

About Rick Nauert PhD

Dr. Rick Nauert has over 25 years experience in clinical, administrative and academic healthcare. He is currently an associate professor for Rocky Mountain University of Health Professionals doctoral program in health promotion and wellness. Dr. Nauert began his career as a clinical physical therapist and served as a regional manager for a publicly traded multidisciplinary rehabilitation agency for 12 years. He has masters degrees in health-fitness management and healthcare administration and a doctoral degree from The University of Texas at Austin focused on health care informatics, health administration, health education and health policy. His research efforts included the area of telehealth with a specialty in disease management.