After over five years of being heavily medicated for my bipolar illness, I am just crazy enough to go off the meds and try to conceive. With a whole team of professionals monitoring my progress and an amazingly compassionate husband to catch me when I fall, I am ready to start trying to get pregnant. This is my journey through the insane process...

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

When love isn't enough

We adopted our German Shepherd, Cusco, over 4 years ago. He was a senior dog at the time and we knew that our time with him would be limited. Nevertheless, we wanted to give him a few good years in a loving home. Cusco has given us more love and loyalty than we will ever be able to return to him, even if he lived the next 30 years. But, now it seems that the time has come to say good bye to our giant cuddle bug. His back end no longer works and he has lost much of his control over his bladder and bowels. His mind is still complete though, and that makes it even harder to say good bye. He can no longer go for walks, or fetch his favorite tennis ball. He can't herd us anymore or bring us his ball over and over again. He can still love us though, and we can still love him. But for a working dog, I am not sure that love is enough to keep him happy and living a quality life. Tomorrow, we will take him to the vet for a final assessment and opinion that will either confirm or reject my instinct that the time has come. I pray that we have given him the full and happy life every dog deserves to live.

17 comments:

I'm so sorry it looks like you may have to say goodbye to your precious friend. I have been there and it's so hard but at the same time it's good to know that you've done everything you can to make their lives full and good. My thoughts are with you.

What a sweet face he has! If it's any consolation your house sounds like Dog Heaven, and I'm sure he has enjoyed it. Also, I think it's so much more merciful to end it if they're like that and can't recover; what kind of working dog wants that?

oh what a beautiful dog. you can see in his eyes what a sweet and loving guy he is. it takes guts to make the decision. my parents didn't in your situation and to this day regret what that dog went through. if it is his time, i'm sorry for your loss.

I nearly burst into tears when I read this post. Good luck - I know how hard that decision is and how hard it is to say goodbye like that!!!

Happy to hear that Pepper is doing well and that you are getting accustomed to motherhood!!! I would be lying if I didn't tell you, though, that I am very concerned by your choice of cleaning the house over taking your meds.....PLEASE take care of yourself. The house can ALWAYS wait.

As for the scars you reference in an earlier post, my Ex had the same and for probably the same reasons. I kissed each and every one in the hope that that would help her heal. But I learned the hard way that only she could alter her thinking about them and about why she did it.