Blue Balls

A slang term, not a medical term, “blue balls” refers to the pain a man feels in his scrotum from prolonged sexual arousal without ejaculation. Basically, if a guy gets turned on and doesn’t climax, it can cause an aching sensation in his balls. But don’t worry, he’ll live. Blue balls is not dangerous and doesn’t cause any long-term damage. (Though it has been known to cause severe and highly obnoxious complaining from dudes.)

Considering that women bleed out of their genitals once a month for 30 years, it doesn’t seem that bad.

How It Happens:

Anatomically, the way blue balls works is that a man becomes aroused, and blood rushes into his penis and testicles, causing swelling. Bow chicka wow wow. Then pressure begins to build up and since it doesn’t get released, it can result in an uncomfortable feeling. Eventually the discomfort goes away as the blood drains and the genitals go back to normal.

James Kashanian, a urologist at New York-Presbyterian Hospital Cornell, says, “There is minimal scientific data that addresses it as a clinical scenario, [but] it’s something most people have heard of,” he says. “There is no risk of irreversible damage.” Thankfully, it won’t affect a man long-term, except for maybe his ego. Which, fine. One easy fix for those poor suffering souls? A quick jerk-off session.

As far as why the color “blue” is in the name, Dr. Kashanian says, "The color blue seems to have originated from an idea that the scrotum may appear to have a bluish tinge after a prolonged period of sexual arousal, although this has never been substantiated in medical literature. The term could just as easily represent the feeling of the testes feeling bruised, or ‘black and blue.’” Whatever the case, a man’s testicles should never actually turn a color. If you look down and your lover’s testicles look like a couple of mutant blueberries, don’t jerk him off; go to the ER.

The most important thing to remember is to never let a man use blue balls as an excuse to pressure you into sex. If he’s really in that much pain, he’s got hands. *Three snaps in a Z-formation.*

Variations:

While this condition for women doesn’t have a pithy, anatomically incorrect name, all too many women know what it feels like to get close to orgasming but not actually do it. Some women describe it as a feeling of getting close to an edge but not going over.

Related Terms:

Blue Balls in Popular Culture:

The concept of blue balls has received mentions in movies ranging from Johnny Depp’s Cry Baby to The Wolf of Wall Street, but nowhere is it more absurdly explained and illustrated than in 2008’s Extreme Movie. The sad truth is, most of these references portray the “poor men” as suffering and the women as cruel withholders of sex.

In Extreme Movie, at least you get to hear this penis pity party from a fuzzy blue puppet.

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