In some countries,teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this a good idea ? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

In some countries,teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this a good idea ? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

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Feb 9, 2018 10:57

There is no shortage whether teenagers have jobs or not while they are still students. In my opinion, I think that it is more advantageous to focus on studying all the subjects at school in the long run. I feel this the way for reasons, which I will explore the following essay. To begin with, There are a lot of opportunities to do in the future. These days, there is a variety of social problems in our society including the population shrinking, an aging society and poverty.As the recession set it, many companies start laying off workers as well as they don't need to get employees.However, the company wants to get work-ready workers in order to not go to bankrupt. Society requires having high education and professional abilities. For example, Compared to an employment rate between people who graduate from high school and people who graduate from a university, the latter has surpassed to the former regarding with the employment rate, status, and salary.Teenagers need to learn a lot of knowledge and perspective from lecture instead of having a job. Secondly, there is a great system to help students. For example, we have a scholarship.In fact, the reason why teenagers have a job is that they need to make money for a tuition fee and living cost. However, they can focus on studying subject all the student who has a job. For example, my friend had a job while he was a student. He didn't get it from the government. It's very tough to take lectures while he was working for a restaurant as a server. He sometimes skipped school because he was very tired to work at the restaurant.He couldn't pass the exams Even though He tried to study the exams. In conclusion, I strongly believe that teenagers don't need to have jobs while they are still students. Even if I can make money, time never come back. If we got a job, It would be hard to study again. Studying for teenager pay off in the future somewhere.

In some countries,teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this a good idea ? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!

There is no shortage whether teenagers have jobs or not while they are still students.

There is no shortage of teenagers taking jobs/ workingwhile still in school.

There is no shortage of sth --> there is plenty/ enough of something. So that phrase doesn't make sense here.

In my opinion, I think that it is more advantageous to focus on studying all the subjects at school in the long run.

In my opinion, I think that it is more advantageous for students to focus on studying in the long run. /In the long run, it is better for students to focus on studying while in school.

I feel this the way for reasons, which I will explore the following essay.

I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To begin with, There are a lot of opportunities to do in the future.

To begin with, there are a lot of opportunities in the future.

Only the first letter of the first word in a sentence is capitalised.

These days, there is a variety of social problems in our society including the population shrinking, an aging society and poverty.

These days, there are a variety of social problems in our society including the population shrinking, an aging society and poverty.

As the recession set it, many companies start laying off workers as well as they don't need to get employees.

As the recession set in, many companies started laying off workers as well as they don't need as many employees/ as they couldn't afford paying their wages.

However, the company wants to get work-ready workers in order to not go to bankrupt.

However, the company still wants to keep efficient/competent workers in order to not go bankrupt.

Society requires having high education and professional abilities.

Society still requires one to have high educational qualifications and professional capabilities.

Society requires the average person to have these qualities

For example, Compared to an employment rate between people who graduate from high school and people who graduate from a university, the latter has surpassed to the former regarding with the employment rate, status, and salary.

For example, a comparison between employment rates between high school graduates and college/university graduates [/Bachelor degree holders] shows that the latter surpasses the former, and they also enjoy higher statuses and salaries.

The sentence starts with '' comparing employment rates'' so you cant place the factors ''status and salary'' in the same sentence, since these are already a separate point of comparison.

Teenagers need to learn a lot of knowledge and perspective from lecture instead of having a job.

Teenagers need to learn a lot of knowledge and perspectives from lectures instead of having a job.

lectures/ perspectives since there are a lot of lectures these students need to learn from

Secondly, there is a great system to help students.

This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!

For example, we have a scholarship.

This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!

In fact, the reason why teenagers have a job is that they need to make money for a tuition fee and living cost.

In fact, the reason why teenagers need a job is to make money for tuition fees and living costs.

However, they can focus on studying subject all the student who has a job.

However, they can focus on studying subject all the student who has a job.

This sentence doesn't relate to the previous one? [ Did you mean: However, those who have a job during their studies cannot focus on studying their school subjects. ]

For example, my friend had a job while he was a student.

This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!

He didn't get it from the government.

This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!

It's very tough to take lectures while he was working for a restaurant as a server.

This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!

He sometimes skipped school because he was very tired to work at the restaurant.

This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!

He couldn't pass the exams Even though He tried to study the exams.

He couldn't pass the exams even though he had tried to study for the exams.

had -- past perfect, the event occurred before the time you wrote the exam.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that teenagers don't need to have jobs while they are still students.

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There is no shortage whether teenagers have jobs or not while they are still students. In my opinion, I think that it is more advantageous to focus on studying all the subjects at school in the long run. I feel this the way for reasons, which I will explore the following essay.
To begin with, Ther