The sense of urgency you describe is very common among veterans. It stems from the life or death urgency of combat, and also from a sense that things can't wait until tommorrow, because you have no idea what tommorrow will bring. I can't speak to the rest of the military, but the Army was/is very good at the 'get it done now' mentality.

Personally, I have shifted very much to a procrastinator. I go weeks without getting anything done. Wife used to jump my butt continously about not doing anything, but now she just leaves me alone ... most of the time.

Irondeuce wrote:A wiff from a passing diesel truck reminds me of standing over a cut off 55gal drum with a big stick stiring the burning contents untill its all gone.

Driving past the local sewage treatment plant does that for me too.

I find I procrastinate a lot too, I get started on some things but never finish them and it ticks my wife off, she has no problems reminding of them either. Thunder & lightning still bother me, thunder more though. I know its not the Air Force doing there thing in the near distance but it still creeps me out.

Last Wednesday, I had a near panic/anxiety attack after having to attend a workshop at work and being placed at a front table in front of everyone, I was on the verge of really wigging out and realized what was happening and said something and I was allowed to sit in the back, it took mentioning being a combat vet with PTSD before anyone really understood why I was having my problem.

Patience, I have NONE anymore. Ticks me off that my own kids take time to do things yet I know it takes them time and have to fight myself to give them time (they are 4 & 6 and learning while doing).

Thanks for that Dagger, this forum is my first real interaction with folks from Desert Storm since I Got out in 91, after reading through the forum's and posting a fiew comments for the first time the other night I wasnt able to sleep much. I thought I came out of it in good shape, now its all starting to make sence.

The Christmas Holiday season. I used to get sick just before Christmas the 1st few years after Desert Storm, now I just get a terrible case of the holiday blues. I guess it has something to do with the fact I was pretty sure Christmas of 1990 would be my last. Since then both my ex-wives left me just before the holidays. Now with this economy and working for a GM dealer I don't even know if I can afford to pay my rent or if I'll even be working next month. I can barely make it on my full-time pay, I sure can't survive on what unemployment would pay me. The holidays suck.... I'm a 47 y.o. single father with a 4 y.o. son. If it wasn't for my son I would have crawled in a hole a long time ago....

Hang in there ... One of the things I've learned is that I may not be able to fix the PTSD stuff, but I can recognize what's kickin' in. It don't stop much, but at least I understand the 'why' a lot more than I used to.

5thFSEMSG wrote:I don't get the whole poser concept. If you want to be a Soldier, then be a Soldier. Don't lie about it. Don't pump up your career, most Lifers I know didn't need to bump up their careers. If the highest award you have is an AAM, then be proud of that AAM. You earned it, it's worth more than a hundred PX AAMs.

If you only fought in the Cold War, you still did your part to help the Soviet Union fall. That's something to be proud of. Sure there are guys out there with lots of fruit salad, they were in the right place at the right time. I know quite a few guys with Silver Stars, but I don't have the urge to run over to the PX, buy one, and put it on my uniform. I'm proud of what I have and that's enough for me.

Some of the things I hate ? Well I think everyone has pretty much said it all. My biggest things since DS has to be large crowds, people getting to close to me, civillians who do nothing but put down any conflict we've been in, civillians who tell me how we should have done our jobs the first time around, posers, loud noises that aren't under my control, incompetent people and people who whine when their told to do something or given a directive to accomplish a task. Did I miss much ?

When I first got out in 1995, I opted to go National Guard, after serving 14 year on active duty (This is nothing against our brothers in the Guard) I attended 3 drills and that was enough. On the day of my third drill we were told by the first shirt that we were having a formation to be released for the weekend. We sat in formation waiting on the commander from 12 noon until 6:30 that evening. The whole time doing nothing, I repeat, doing nothing. We weren't even allowed to leave to have lunch. When we were finally released, six and a half hours later, I walked up to my Plt Sgt and told him, I can tell that most of you have never served on active duty before and that this would be the last time he'd see me in this formation ever again. I guess I was more upset because of the lack of leadership that was displayed. After several letters from my unit over a 9 month period and me telling them to leave me alone, they finally Honorably Discharged me from the National Guard.

On active duty, we would have never been allowed to just sit around in formation waiting to go home. The mention of conducting PMCS on our vehicles or Police Call was suggested, my gosh it was almost like a court martial getting ready to happen. It was said, we put in our weekend don't be asking for more work.

I thought the transition from the military to civillian life would be somewhat easy. Gosh was I wrong ! It still hasn't happened. When we went back to Iraq after 9/11 and after 2 knee surgery's I tried to get back on active duty because I wanted to serve my country again in its time of need but was told I couldn't pass the physical in my condition. ( I had close friends as recruiters). I knew this but I was going to try anyway.

I came from a military family, hell, my father was a Vietnam Vet and my recruiter when I joined the Army in 1981 and retired after 24 years. The military was actually the only family I ever knew. Still to this day, I tend to isolate myself from individuals who have never served and its not like I haven't tried. It just doesn't seem to work for me. I guess I'm lucky I'm on so many Meds !

I'm sorry about just going on and on here and I know this was a topic about this I hate since the war. I found this website not to long ago and now I feel like I'm back with my family. Thanks

You aint going on and on ... life is going on and on ... and the shit we did in the military keeps going on and on ... intrusive thoughts, lack of concentration, etc .... because it just keeps going on and on ...

So go on with yourself ... my understanding is that is a great place to do it.

It is hard to make that transision, i still dont understand the civillian world. They seem to make thing so difficult for themselves and others around them. I am a truck driver by trade and even in this field alot of people iv worked with make every task so hard. so i kinda know how you feel. I stop by our local VA yesterday for the first time,and was impressed by how nice people treated each other. It was like another world.

I tried the reserve thing two times, it didnt last more than a few months each time. The first time I returned to active duty and the second time I couldnt deal with the way they operated, way too laxed, Privates calling the 1SG. and CO. by their first name and stuff like that. I delt with reserve and guard troops a bunch in Desert Storm, they did work hard and get the job done but most of the time I wasnt really sure how. That was my experience, but in there defense I have a cousin who is in the NJ Guard, he is there now, he's 40 and spent 4yrs active duty in the Marines, his unit went through a great deal of additional training before deployment and they are involved in some serious shit. He is liking it so much he doesn't want to return to his good paying job back home. (I wish I stayed in)