Narcissit? Who me?

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Number 11

It is fitting that I begin writing this eleventh blog post at exactly 11:11pm. It is a very auspicious start to what will probably be a very rushed and hurried affair, but no matter. I'll start it and as always I will see where it takes me.

Today, or rather tonight, my goal is to once again relay my wish for a "fixed life" to the night sky. A revisiting of the original theme, and the affirmation of my desires. Yes. I think that is what I am supposed to do. The scribbles in my notebook are very vague and I can't quite remember what it is that I was thinking when I wrote them. My guess is that just as all protagonists in holiday movies, after learning and growing, and standing up to bullies, and righting wrongs, and singing carols, eventually make a wish for the second time. But what I have learning is that it may not be the exact same wish, and it may not be a life changing one at all. When I had planned on was to look out of the window at a cloudless sky, full of stars and to once again wish for a different life. And maybe because my plan worked, or maybe it is the sentimentality of the season getting to me, but I can't imagine wanting a life any different than the life I have now. I'm always a sucker for the grand and impressive. Like I've said I always searching for the quick and tremendous fix. But as it turns out, I don't need it.

So instead of wishing for differences I'm going to make these wishes.

I wish for the health, wealth and happiness for those I love I wish for my family to know how much I love them. I wish for my sister, who thinks I don't mention her because I don't like her, to know, that if I do, it is because I love her so much it is too hard to put it into words. I wish for blessings and goodness for all my friends. I wish for the gratitude I have for all those that have helped and supported me to be felt. I wish for abundance.I wish for family harmony. I wish for friendships bettered. I wish to remember how fortunate I am. I wish to remain happy and thankful in my everyday life. I wish for luck. And most of all I wish to carry with me the feelings of supreme happiness and insightfulness throughout the next year.