Magazine

July 2013: Lost and Found

Who or what is my Higher Power? Why do I spend so much time and energy trying to find it, trying to see God’s face and hear God’s voice?

I think it’s because I’m lonely. I need love. I need connection. I need a reason, a purpose for my life. There has been too much pain and suffering in my world. Why did my dad drink himself to death? Where was God when I prayed for him to get sober? I don’t know. Where was God when I was told at age 17 that I’d never be able to have a child? Who would love me? Who would want me? My tears didn’t seem to matter.