Tag: being human

Confidence comes from ‘Thinking for yourself’. It’s a tough one as many things influence us from our early childhood, our temperament, our experiences. The human is a complex being and who am I to really comment?

Because sometimes our mind tricks us, fogs our brains and leads our minds astray. I know. I’ve been in that thick dense fog and it can be devilishly hard to find your way out. No matter how much advice and support you receive, each of us has our own ‘inner schedule’ and until we have processed something sufficiently, whatever it is, the way out and way forward will inevitably elude us. That’s because we are human.

At work and in our personal lives we reach crossroads. Situations arise we feel unable to handle. And what stops us moving on? Yep. Got it in one. BUT HOLD ON. That’s making the assumption that fear is a bad thing.

Facing up to fear, to anxiety. To addressing something head-on takes courage and the harder the challenge, the braver one has to be.

So pushing through that fear makes the achievement all the greater, The every act of making a decision will alleviate the anxiety because whatever the outcome, you have taken control by making a decision. Taking control means you have accepted the responsibility and this represents a shift in power.

This week I’m going to be working with a new group. They are young, about to enter a new phase of their lives and there is so much opportunity to tempt them, challenge them, test and teach them. But only if they recognise the freedom that thinking for oneself brings. Life really is the most amazing, most challenging teacher of all.

Oh so cleverly! Technology is making monkeys of us.

Rather than creating a 'Culture of Conversation'where people think for themselves, we're moving on autopilot. Increasingly failing to question what on earth we're doing and more importantly why.

Every day we’re overloaded with images, subliminal advertising, thousands of messages which slowly, oh so cleverly are taking over our minds. Influencing how we think. What we think. Directing us towards products and services companies think we might like. Even this blog, our web-site. That’s the reality of the word of commerce. Pressure to canvas support, for charities, for political parties, for local campaigns. We are free thinkers. Aren’t we? Sometimes I wonder whether we really think at all. Edward de Bono felt thinking is a skill that should be taught in school and I agree.

HOLD ON. It’s time to challenge yourself. take the time to think out loud.

RATIONALISE what you’re thinking.

QUESTION the basis for judgement and use a little more reason to challenge any assumptions you or a colleague are making before finalizing key decisions..

We use our ‘gut’ almost instinctively. It can help guide us to make the right decisions, using a combination of knowledge we’ve accumulated based on fact and our experience. We don’t always pick up on what it’s telling us. Hear the signals. From the ‘unsettled’ feeling in the stomach to perhaps ‘tingling’ when something is right.

Think about the word disease. See it again perhaps as dis-ease. Consider it as discomfort, an alert. A way of telling us to be careful.

Sometimes though I believe it is there to stop us rushing into things. Making the wrong decisions The problem is often we don’t give ourselves time to think. We get caught up in the excitement of something and don’t make time for that ‘internal dialogue’. I’ve done it so often myself as I don’t always take the time I should. And there is often a cost. Usually an emotional cost. Consequences. So my thought for today in this blog post – which is one way for me to having a conversation of sorts with you – is to ask you to challenge your emotions and any assumptions you’re making. Don’t just blindly accept what you’re thinking especially on the bigger issues. Emotions are triggered by what we think and therein lies the opportunity to use reason and make sure your mind and heart is really working in tandem and your intentions are coming from the right place.

Conversations can start up just about anywhere and no better place than at airports. Recently before flying back from London, as I was having coffee I found myself chatting with a lovely Polish firefighter from Kent on his way home for the New Year. He’d lived in the UK for some 12 years plus and after the topical chit-chat around what Brexit would mean for him, I asked him about his work. The conversation moved on to whilst most of the work was straightforward dealing with relatively minor events, the more dangerous and tragic the incidents he and his crew dealt with, the greater the emotional impact. I sensed that as with most types of trauma, there is a sense of loss, futility and disappointment which builds up and felt immensely sad that these feelings lingered long afterwards and wondered how these brave firefighters dealt with their emotions. Inevitably and true to stereotype, most men he said, would bottle up their feelings and inevitably something quite trivial would act as a catalyst and ‘boom’ the built up feelings would explode, out of context and often out of control. Never dealt with. I felt fortunate to talk with this man, to have had the opportunity of going behind the capable, brave masks people like him have to wear day after day in providing such an invaluable public service. Before we parted company, we went on to talk about the excitement of being with family and friends to celebrate the coming New Year and all that is joyous in life too. A few coffees later as I left for my flight, my resolve to raise awareness of the need to deal with emotions in the workplace was ever stronger. Most certainly, we need to keep pushing this issue to the fore-front, rather than ‘under the carpet’ as it is indeed a bigger conversation, one Much More Than Words will be highlighting in a couple of weeks time and we’d like you to be part of.

The second conversation was a brief one with the Ryanair flight attendant, who provided endless entertainment to weary and extremely unresponsive passengers. He looked Irish, had a real ‘country’ accent, was both funny and fluent. Yet something in his accent told me otherwise. Another Pole ! A Polish man with a big heart, resilient and sense of humour. Welcome and Safe Journey home. How are you, I asked. With the biggest warmest smile ‘Living the Dream, living the dream’. He made me laugh as we talked, another side of the human roller-coaster of emotions. Ryanair often get slagged for all sorts of things, but I have to say, not only has their service been consistent, their customer service on a face to face level has become more human, despite it being all too easy to find yourself paying unnecessary surcharges.

So to the two Polish gentlemen, from deep in my heart, I thank you both for making my night.