And now for the fine print.

DISCLAIMER: Views and opinions expressed in this blog are my own and do not necessarily represent the views of my employer or former employer or former employer's employer. (confusing enough?) In fact, I am pretty sure they are the complete polar opposite. You may think you know my employer or former employer, but unless you work/worked with me, I assure you that you do not.

Names are changed to protect the imbecilic (not enough so is that your co-workers will not recognize you in a heartbeat). Be advised that facts may be blown out of any recognizable proportion for the purpose of humour or if I happen to be in a crappy mood that day.

If I quote someone I usually spice it up a little to make it funnier or more often than not I have to clean up the grammar since not everyone is as articulate as me? I? You know what I mean. Fuck off, this is my blog. Just remember, it may or may not be a direct quote.

However, rest assured that if you say something completely retarded in my presence I will blog it 'verbatim' and you will be henceforth and herewithin referred to as crayon. (had to add a little legalese)