April 20, 2005

Mercifully, they're going through the results in a mere half hour. Ryan introduces the judges, and I notice how Simon always turns his head to the side and resists looking at Ryan. Now we see Ryan Seacrest getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. For real? I guess it just doesn't mean a damn thing anymore. Now there's a Seacrest tribute montage, including sexual innuendo with a flamingo. Flamingo innuedo. And now, a tribute to some dreadful songwriter as a lead-in to a group song. It's a crap song, but they actually sing it with some appeal. Anwar seems cooler singing while playing a keyboard, and Carrie's more tolerable playing guitar. Bo's playing guitar too. Vonzell's doomed to partnering with Scott, but they both do a nice job. And Constantine and Anthony get paired, because there aren't enough women to go around, and they do just fine too. It's for charity -- the Red Cross -- so good luck to them. Still: the song is garbage.

The commercials end with the Ford commercial starring the "Idols." It's a really cool 50s commercial that has animated a filmed routine into a cartoon somehow. They all have big heads and tiny bodies. Even Scott. Very cute! Everyone's hair is greased up into a 50s do, which makes it hard to recognize Constantine and Bo, remade into Elvis-y toons.

The results will be revealed by bringing everyone on stage into one of two groups and then saying which is the bottom group. We saw this last season in the shocking results show where the three black female singers were grouped and, to our amazement, told they were the bottom. (One of them, Fantasia, went on to win the contest.) So I'm expecting that the group that looks safe will be the bottom, but I can't see how that can happen with these contestants, since clearly Bo and Constantine will not be in the bottom group. Vonzell too. Vonzell goes to the left, Anthony to the right. The right must be bad. Anwar joins Anthony. Okay, then there is no question. Right is bad. Constantine joins Vonzell. What scintilla of suspense can there be? Carrie goes to the left. Scott goes to the right. What about Bo? The groups are even. So he's just told he's safe and then he's asked to join the group he thinks is the top. He goes to the middle. He's not playing games. Why should he take orders?

After the break, we're told what we already know. The Scott, Anthony, Anwar group is at risk. And the loser, as I, and many others, predicted, is Anwar.

Barring a totally disasterous performance by one of the others, Scott or Anthony will be next. They consistently are in the bottom, and the judges aren't exactly hot for them either.

The ironic thing is that they would make a pretty good competitor if they were somehow melded. Anthony really needs to learn how to sing from Scott, and Scott could use Anthony's looks and more powerful voice.

My guess is that the boy-wonder is next to go, unless he really nails it next week. I'm thinking he could do a pretty sweet job of Dennis DeYoung's "On Desert Moon" or "Babe". But I can't see the other four falling out before those two.

And by "sweet", c'mon, we mean "flaming". Not that there's anything wrong with it -- I'm quite fond of his singing and song selection, but the gaydar was blipping uncontrollably this week. Still, he wasn't going to win; there's only three people who can.

Previous 7th place finishers are Ryan Starr, Kimberly Caldwell and Jennifer Hudson. That doesn't give much hope for his career prospects.

Vonzell can't win, because Tamyra couldn't win, nor Trenyce nor LaToya, and for the reasons that we argued about last year but hasn't yet arisen this year, even if *I* prefer Anwar and Nikko to Scott and Anthony.

She can't win because there's nothing particularly unique about her. She's just a very nice, happy singer, but I don't feel like I haven't seen her before.

Fantasia won because no one else was that good last season, and she presented something different. My goodness, I look at that list -- Diana, LaToya, Jasmine, George and John Stevens were in the final six with her -- and think of how much stronger this season is.

And Tamyra should've been able to survive "New Attitude". I blame the audience, not her.

Unless Carrie gets some personality, it will come down to Bo and Constantine. If the producers let Bo stretch the meaning of song categories as happened this week, he's strong enough to overcome the solid block that votes for Constantine. Vonzell is very nice but I don't see here winning.

I love Vonzel. She's spunky in a Miss America kind of way, but I agree, she's not particularly unique. I also think with the popularity of the two "rockers" we can see that people are getting a bit tired of generic pop singing.

I think what happened with Vonzell is that America acquired favourites before we really got to see Vonzell hit her stride, and now she has to play catch up. Now that Nadia is gone, I think Vonzell is one of the most energetic and enjoyable competitors left.

Bo though is the absolute best. He makes Constantine look like a sophomore theatre major trying to act like a rock star. Bo is the real deal. But then again, I am in love with Bo.

After last night, Vonzell is the only black contestant left. She's also one of only two women left. That ought to concentrate some support for her. This season has a distinctly different mix, with white males far more successful than in previous seasons. The main change was letting older people enter. Not sure why that would tend to help white males. Possibly just a quirk, but you could argue the producers did things to make this happen. We've gotten not just Bo and Constantine, but Scott and Anthony making it to the last stages. (But now, it seems inevitable that Scott and Anthony will go in the next two weeks. )

A European transplant friend of mine said he noticed immediately when he moved to the US how obsessed we are with race. Don't you think we are obsessing on race here when there is no reason to think that any black contestants were voted off due to race? Nadia was too funky and Anwar a bit boring. While terrible Scott has the underdog thing and Anthony is the young cutie pie with hit or miss pitch.

Who cares what race or gender the final contestants are? I really don't think America cares, unless you consider the hormones of young girls who are not voting for the women!