Sunday, May 4, 2014

Today is Star Wars day and it’s made look back several times
over my thirty-three years or so of loving all things Star
Wars.I was too young to remember A New
Hope, I was just four years old after all. The Empire Strikes Back, though, now that
movie I remember.I know my Aunt took me to
the movie but I don’t remember a whole lot of the movie itself.She says I went to the bathroom a lot but I
honestly don’t remember it much.I have
a vague recollection of Hoth but that’s about it from that experience.What got me hooked, and I mean really hooked
was a copy of the second edition of Marvel’s comic book adaptation of the same
movie.It was slightly larger than a
normal comic and the colors were very stark but that book is what opened up my
mind and my world to all that was Star Wars.I had some toys before that too, the Death Star play set figures
prominently in my memories as does the Falcon playset but that comic was my ‘gateway
to geekdom’. (Geekgate?Gateway Geek?)

I’m not
exactly sure what about the series that hooked me so completely and continues
to hook me even now as an adult. Maybe
because it had it all; swords, action, flying ships, guns, and rogues just to
name a few things!? My seven year old brain sucked it all up and from then on
my world was set.It was my Errol Flynn,
my Three Musketeers, Zorro, and Lone Ranger all wrapped

Oh Yeah!! The Death Star!!

into three movies.It scared me (that Wompa was not a nice
creature) and in the beginning I wasn’t even too sure of Darth Vader.My view on what a hero should be as an adult
is modeled entirely on Han Solo, a bad guy just isn’t really a bad guy unless
they can top Vader and Palpatine.I
suppose I was the perfect age for it but whatever it was I was in!!

As I’ve
aged I’ve always been fearful the movies would age or wouldn’t hold up to my
adult scrutiny but they haven’t.They’ve
grown more fun to watch especially as I share them with my sons (my daughters
too but they won’t admit it publicly that they like the movies but I know they do...they do I tell you!!).The prequels had their issues sure and didn’t
even come close to matching the majesty of the original three (especially
episode V) but they were Star Wars through and through.They had swords, guns, romance, ships, and
awesome bad guys just like the originals.They stoked the Star Wars flames of my soul. They made me feel like a kid again and stoked the imagination. They took me back to hours spent playing with the toys or just imagining I was the one fighting Darth Vader instead of Luke. They took me back to time spent pouring over fan-fiction before fan-fiction was even a thing. I spent hours making up distant relatives of Solo and writing about those adventures.

Fan-Made Episode VII poster

As we
slowly march our way through 2014 and into 2015 there is the promise of more Star
Wars goodness.I’ve seen the original
cast is returning and that’s simply awesome.The fans out there in the internet may not like it and throw down all
of their negative fan hate that could only exist in the anonymous world of the internet but I’m pretty sure when those opening credits pop on
the screen and the words begin their long scroll up the screen that I’ll be in
my seat grinning like a loon, my inner seven year old squealing in absolute
joy.Whatever intangible thing it was
that hooked me on this universe all those years ago, I am very grateful it was there.Star Wars has made me a happy child, a happy
boy, and a happy adult repeatedly over the years and I can’t imagine a world
without being able to sit down and watch one of the movies, or quote a line at
my wife, or have my mom throw out a line from Yoda or discuss the finer points with my wife and best friend. (or...shhh...beating my wife at Star Wars trivial pursuit!!! muhahahah) Thank you George Lucas for being as influential on my life as much and probably more than any teacher ever was. Long Live Star Wars, and May the Fourth Be
With You!!

Monday, April 28, 2014

It has occurred
to me recently that not all is right in the world.No seriously, innocent little things like comic
books and geek culture (one I’ve been a member of for nearly 30 years) is not
as innocent as I once hoped they were.This thing that started with my buddy and I running down to the local
7-11 and Newcombs to get our books on a monthly basis (for .65 cents no less
but that’s a topic for another blog) and
trading books on the front porch of his parents house has turned into a
multi-billion dollar industry (with movies thrown in).Innocent ‘one and done’ comic books about
teen age angst (Spidey) and that taught us to care for all of humanity no
matter their race, sex, or power (X-men) or that anger wasn’t always the answer
(Hulk) were what the industry was all about.Comic Cons didn’t exist and if they did they were a world away from our
parent’s front porches.Wolverine was
the best there was at what he did but all we really knew about what he did was
that it wasn’t pretty.This was how I
came into the world of Geekdom.

Cover Art by John Byrne

Then
the internet struck and like many many things in the world things got….discombobulated….innocence
slowly melted away.One-and-done’s
turned into epic multi-issue arcs that gave way to company spanning events.Great covers gave way to foil covers and
small community center comic conventions where books changed hands for other
books turned into mega-cons!!!We lost
our innocence.Usually this isn’t a big
thing to me.It happens.Life will always move forward and that’s the
way of things so we have to deal with it.Books will never return to .65 and we’ll be lucky if they stay at the
$3.99 mark they’ve been at for the past several years.

I grew
up and so did my comic books.I’ve had
kids who have been immersed in the culture.More specifically I’ve had girls who are as much fan-girls as I am a
fan-boy.This has me nervous.I am alert to all of the dangers that face 13
year old girls.The internet, boys,
bullies, TV, eating issues, image issues, and puberty just to name a few.I never in a million years thought I’d need
to add comic books or anything else from Geekdom.I have made attempts to keep them from some
of the covers (Witchblade probably the most) so that they weren’t exposed to ‘those
kinds of images’ and while they’ve not really taken to comic books per se they’ve
seen them in the house.They’ve gotten
their toes wet in Geekdom by following Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Divergent,
Adventure Time, Minecraft.On the surface
these aren’t too bad but they’ve led them to want to go to cons and one day it
may lead them to want to read comic books or continue deeper into their chosen ‘Geek
Path’.

Cover Art By John Byrne

The
question that faces me is, ‘Do I want them to?’ After reading about all of the
hate directed at one individual who criticized a cover of a comic book I’m
wondering if this culture is really safe to raise 13 year olds in.Because a woman stood up and spoke her mind
the Culture with which I have so proudly claimed to be a part of lashed out in
some of the meanest ways imaginable.Do I
want my daughters exposed to this?

No I do not!!!Not even a little bit.

The anonymity of the internet
protects these ‘people’ from persecution and emboldens them to say things they’d
never say in public but it also means some of these comments were the true
feelings of the posters.These were the
first things that popped into their minds!!For the first time ever I was embarrassed to be a male and specifically
to be a male in this culture.I wanted
to defend the males who would never ever think to say these things but I found
myself at a loss.I didn’t know what to
say.Honestly, I still don’t.I stand with the females who’ve stood up and
made the Culture aware of what’s going on, I stand next to the creators who’ve publicly
stood up and put these ‘fan-boys’ down.I’ve favorite posts, and re-tweeted tweets to show some support.I’ve downloaded Podcasts and visited blogs to
show my support but it’s not seemed like enough.

Now I
look at the world I live in and realize I’m not a ‘cause’ type of guy.I live a quiet life with my family.I don’t speak out to often, I don’t donate
money to charity’s, I simply live my life the best way I know how and hope that
will be enough.I’m polite, I open doors
for people, and I wave and/or smile at strangers.So how do I help with the ‘problem’?How do I help ‘change the world’?The answer is I raise my children right.I also have two boys and I make sure they
grow up knowing it’s not okay, ever to say those things or even think
them.I teach them to stand up for
things that are right.I teach my girls
to overcome and to not accept the status quo.I teach them that this is not the 50’s or 60’s and that they as young
women have as much right to protect the image of women and of themselves as
anyone else.I teach them that the
faceless masses of anonymous internet are wrong, that they are not humanity.I teach them to seek the truth no matter what
others say, no matter what the ‘common perception’ is.I teach them to be Women, intelligent-go-after-what-they-want
women who will rule the world in the end.I teach all four of them the wonders of the comic book world, to look
deep through the title spanning arcs to see the beautiful truth and lessons
that are buried in today’s comics.I
teach them to appreciate the art and in turn to encourage the artists to ‘get
it right’ and not accept the stereotype.I teach them to read deep and feel what the author is trying to express.This is how I can defeat the anonymous
masses.This will be my commitment to
the wonderful world which I’ve enjoyed for so long and which I hope to continue
to embrace.This will be my contribution
to the world at large.Comic books are a
beautiful medium and Geekdom is an awesome culture that has come together to
achieve some really spectacular things.I hope it continues, I hope I am able to teach my children to continue
with it.And with that, I will return to
my room where I have stacks of books waiting to be read and return once more to
the great stories being put to paper by the wonderful authors and artists who
month in and month out are producing some of the most awesome story telling
available.

Monday, September 9, 2013

This is
an idea I try to keep in the back of my mind on a regular basis.This is especially true for those of us who hold
on to things and worry over them like a dog worries over its bone.This simple idea has allowed me to, by and
large, let go of the things I can’t control or at least the things I’ve
done/said in the past that I can’t change now.It’s a concept I’ve brought up occasionally but with the recent changes
in my professional life it’s a concept I’ve had to embrace a little more
closely.We all do things or make
mistakes we can’t undo completely.We’ve
all had those ‘if only I had done that’ moments as we’re driving home and some
of us worry over the consequences of those words/actions just a little
bit.(or in my case, quite a lot) Those
moments are when the idea of who I was being dead comes into play.

This
concept stems from the Buddhist teaching that ‘Life is suffering’.I always wondered how relatively happy
looking Buddhists could walk through life thinking that it sucked due to all of
their suffering.I read some books and
looked into it a bit and discovered that it’s not life that suffers but rather
it’s our view on life that makes it suffer.So, as we drive home and worry over what we coulda/shoulda/woulda said
to the jerk-off we just dealt with at the office we are in effect
suffering.Suffering sucks.I hate doing it.Actually, I hate worrying too.It’s an energy suck.It’s a time suck and it is very rarely
productive.I had a supervisor once who
used to worry through every little issue we might deal with on a given
day/event.Having a propensity for the
same thought process often times we would end up ‘brainstorming’ just how
messed up things could get.We’d get
ourselves in a tizzy and become tired and irritated and depressed over how
helpless we were.We were
suffering.The day of the ‘issue’ would
arrive and all the things we thought would happen actually wouldn’t and often
times the day would turn out ok but our stress levels would be through the
roof.We’d spent days, weeks, and
sometimes months worrying. We suffered.

But
back on track…..

If who
I was yesterday is dead and I can’t change that person then why am I
worrying?We need to continue forward
with our lives.If we don’t like what
that dead person did yesterday then don’t do it again today.If we spend our time trying to correct what
he/she did yesterday we are wasting the precious time we’ve been given
today.I’m not necessarily saying we
should ‘Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die’ because that idea
supports more of wasting the time we have rather I am advocating caring a
little less about what happened and what is to come and concentrate on the here
and the now.I can spend my day beating myself
up for not riding, writing, being a better father/husband yesterday or last
week…….or…..I can simply accept that those things happened and be Better
today.I think, and have tested it out on myself, if
we concentrate on being Better today those ‘If only’ moments become less and
less.The idea leads us to being able to
have a moment between stimulus and response.Living in the here and now with the conscience idea that what we do NOW
matters, makes us slow down and react
with less emotion/passion.

This idea can be even more powerful
when you realize who you were when you started reading this doesn’t exist
anymore.

That person is dead as well.We are constantly moving forward, wasting the
time we have worrying about who we were even five minutes ago seems pointless
to me.Acknowledge and move on.

Taking
it a step further; if the person we were a minute ago is dead….then the person
we are to become has not been born yet.Living fully in the now and being Better now will lead to the birth of a
better person every minute.Expecting
the future you to be better but not doing anything to make that happen will
lead to suffering as well.Expectation
leads to disappointment.Expecting the
negative to be a positive, expecting a Monday to be a Tuesday will lead one to
more disappointment.So we must let go
of the dead person behind us, not worry about the unborn you yet to be fully
realized and embrace the moment right now.I’m writing. This leads to a blog post which leads me to
contentment.Yesterday I rode because I
woke up and that’s what I knew I needed to do.Because I did what was right for me at that moment I look back on that
dead me and am content that I did what I wanted to do when I had the
opportunity to do it.

﻿

Japanese Kanji for Peace which is what we get when we end our suffering

So, how
does one go about avoiding this ‘suffering’?To a certain extent I’m not sure we fully can, we are after all humans
and humans worry.When I discovered the
idea through my reading and research it was a ah-ha moment (also a decent 80’s
band) but it also took me a lot more soul searching to keep the idea alive and
in play within my life.At first the
idea spent a lot of time on the bench.It’d raise its hand occasionally trying to get my attention and I’d
ignore it.One day after a particularly
frustrating series of events at work and a couple of weeks off to soul search I
put it in the game and it’s been playing center field ever since.I’ll forget about it once in a while and the
idea might go through a slump or two and my life de-volves into a lose/lose
scenarios but it doesn’t seem to last as long and I am able to put the bad
stuff behind me quicker now.It’s come
to the fore front once again recently because of my current job posting which
is very new to me and I’m stumbling here and there a bit.I’m catching myself for the most part but
this concept has helped me to get up each time, brush myself off and get back
in the batter’s box again.Hope it helps
for you as well.

Monday, August 26, 2013

I’m 40
now, is that an appropriate age to stop, relax and smell the flowers? Or is it 50…60? Do I need to keep striving to be something
better until I retire? Isn’t that sort
of too late? If we’re pushing hard to be
better at work, to podium at every race we enter, and being the best
husband/father ever, where do we rest and enjoy the life we have right
now? Are we moving too fast to enjoy the
here and the now? Will the people who
are constantly trying to get to that CEO position or Supervisor position end up
at 65 looking back on what they’ve missed?
I don’t want that. Since I
graduated High School I’ve been striving to be better. Better at what I’m still a little unclear
about but I know I wanted to be better.
With this new promotion chances are this is as ‘better’ as I’m going to
get. So if being ‘better’ has been my
motivator than what is it going to be now?
I’m facing twenty to twenty-five years of work still in front of
me. I’ve promoted for what could, in all
honesty, be the last time. Above me
degrees are required, experience is required, and skills….skills I don’t
generally possess…are required. My
mother went out and got an education and a career in her 40’s and I applaud her
for it but is that still a realistic option.
I looked at signing up for school to take some IT courses and bone up on
my limited but ok tech skills. I couldn’t
get in and it would’ve cost me nearly $300 for one class if I did. (after
books) So is the question one of
passion? Do I simply lack the passion to
move forward.

It
dawns on me that it might come off as sounding a bit whiny. I thought about deleting it and starting over. It’s been my policy to not post complaints
and tirades about life but these questions; this concern is real to me. Work is good, the four week old promotion
has been awesome and yet I’m left wondering if it will be enough. Yoda accuses Luke of looking, ‘to the future,
to the past, never his mind on where he’s at, what he is doing’ (I paraphrased a bit). Am I un-trainable? Will I bring balance to the Force? Ok, Ok I’m probably trainable but I doubt I’ll
bring balance to the force. Seriously
though, will this promotion bring enough challenge and enough opportunity to
learn and stretch that desire to be ‘better’ will fade over time or to get me
into my retirement years? At what point
is a dog old enough to stop learning new tricks? Is that the point where we retire? My Dad retired because he was tired of the
politics not because he hated the core work he was doing. I hate the politics of work now (does this
mean I get to retire?) but what job doesn’t have them and honestly who actually
thrives on them? I love the core work
responsibilities I’m being given (even when the load of it has quadrupled since
I was promoted) will that be enough to keep me going or as I age and lose a
step will it be too much?

It
seems this post is one of questions, the unknown and the unknowable. It’s kind of a cool thing to not have the
answers, to not have a clear and concise path laid out in front of you but it’s
also a scary place to be. Walking the
knifes edge of sanity is an awesome exhilarating experience yet the danger
always exists, the possibility of falling into the warm embrace of insanity is
always hovering over you and it’s a long walk I have waiting for me with lots
of opportunities to fall. I have no
answers fellow reader, do you? How do
you my fellow forty-something year olds deal with this weird ‘not-quite-mid-life’
place we find ourselves? Are you
happy? Do you face the same ‘fears’ and
uncertainty? I’d love to hear from you.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

In a
few weeks I’ll reach a milestone that in today’s fast food society is reached
less and less.On August 21st
my wife and I will celebrate 20 YEARS
of marriage!!!!!Holy cow.There are several thoughts that pop into my
mind.First, there is no way I’m that
old! Second, there is no way my wife is that old!!!The
time has flown by.It’s had its ups and
downs and everything in between.We’ve
cried, we’ve hurt but most of all we’ve laughed and we’ve grown together.

Nearly
twenty years ago I’d just barely graduated.I was a skinny geek who had no idea what he wanted or where he wanted to
go.I met a fine young woman who had
come to visit with another friend.I was
hobbled by a soccer injury.She gave me
the total and complete cold shoulder and I was hooked!!The rest is history, a year and a half later
we got married and we’ve been making happy memories ever since.In 1993 Monday night football was still on
network TV.Chipper Jones was a rookie
on the Braves, Hoffman was a rookie on the Marlins, Raul Mondesi a rookie on
the Dodgers, and Brad Ausmus was a rookie catcher for the Padres .Toronto beat the Phillies in the World
Series, Dallas won the super bowl, and Chicago won the NBA championships.(So I’m a little sports centric…I can guarantee
she just smiled at the Ausmus reference!)There was really no internet and cell phones were still brick
sized.I drove a really sweet Mercury
Cougar (which died and led to an even cooler Yamaha Scooter) and life was just
getting started.

Too often we get caught in this
negative loop in life.We see the bad,
the poor, the ugly but seldom do we stop and see the good.But you know what as I lean back and gaze
back over the landscape our 20 years has created I’m pretty happy. I see mostly good times, a life built and a
family created.We’ve done a pretty darn good job.We’ve learned to communicate, to express how
we feel to each other and how to sacrifice for each other.We’ve grown up together.Most of all though, after 20 years we are still
very much in love with each other.

I have
had successes in life and I have had failures.I’ve been up and I’ve been down.I’ve had far too many jobs and even more hobbies I’ve attempted to
pursue.In the end my wife has always
held me up and been my rock.A lot of
people don’t see that part of our relationship but I’m here to tell you that
without Kelly I would not be the happy, fairly balanced family man I am
today.She has, over the years,
supported all the cooky little things I’ve done, let me vent when I needed to,
put up with all of my undiagnosed personality defects and in the end what more
can a man ask for from his wife?She’ll
watch baseball, football, and even tolerates a bit of the Tour de France as
well as a soccer game or two.She’s the
perfect wife.

Nothing
I do is ever as good as it is when my wife is with me.As much as I love riding my bike, if I
couldn’t share my adventures with her (even though she’s bored to tears as I
describe my latest ‘cool’ ride stats)the rides just wouldn’t be as cool
afterwards.Without her I’d never be
able to see a doctor (I hate filling out those darn forms).Without her I’d have no faith in me, I’d
doubt myself at every turn but her support and sometimes stern reminder to
shut-up keeps me going.Due to my job we
don’t get a lot of alone time or little dates except for a quick hour lunch
break on Tuesdays.There are no kids and
often times we go to the same restaurant but I don’t care what food I’m eating
because I’m really just happy that for a few minutes we get to hang out.

Kelly
you are my rock.You are my
inspiration.You’re my BFF and life would
just not be as fun if you weren’t in it.So thank you dear for these years.Thank you for your support, your love and your devotion.Thank you for the countless sacrifices you’ve
made for me and for our family.Thank
you for always being there with a shoulder to cry on, a stern word to keep me
in line, and kind words to keep me motivated.Thank you for an awesome 20 years.I love you.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Time
does not stop for us mere mortals very often.Try
as we might the world keeps on spinning, the sun sets and the moon rises.Tides go in, tides go out and the wheel keeps
on turning (good song that last bit).It
is the way of things and as much as I wish it was otherwise it’s probably for
the best.Stagnation is never a healthy
thing for any living organism, humans included.As most of you know we recently welcomed a new member to the
family.My fourth child.He’s awesome and for the past three and half
weeks or so I got to freeze time, or at least put in in extreme slo-mo.

Last June I got to pause life for a twenty four hour camp out with the family and it was pretty awesome. This time its nearly four weeks of pause time. Now
though, life is slowly beginning to speed up once more.I’m not entirely sure I’m happy about
that.The isolation the family has had
has been, well, pretty dang awesome.There has been no school, no work and a whole lot of us just being a
family.I had grand plans for the time I
was off.Ideas to go camping, to take
the three ‘older’ kids to a museum or two and to get out but none of those
materialized.Last night I spent time
thinking about that and at first I was a little down about it.I like to think I lead an active lifestyle
but the past few weeks my life has been anything but.I feel like I let the kids down a bit but
then I thought about what we’ve been through and the fun little moments we’ve
had and I’m not so sure I did.

There
have been many moments over the past few weeks that have brought us together as
a family.We’ve entertained Lil P
together, we’ve fed and comforted him together.In those moments when he was asleep and we
were awake we’ve relaxed together.We’ve
watched TV, we’ve gone shopping, we’ve played video games and in the end maybe
I didn’t let them down as much as I thought I did.I just know with the two of the kids being 12
one day soon they’re not going to want me around, or at least they’ll pretend really
really hard they don’t want me around.Maybe in the end, as life creeps towards warp speed for me, and the
family soon thereafter, the summer wasn’t as ‘wasted’ as I thought.When Lil J was born it cemented our family
together and now with Lil P I think the finishing touches were put on the
family as whole.The girls love the little
guy and enjoy helping out.Lil J has
been very gentle around the new guy and seems very fascinated by the whole
affair which is really awesome.

In
about 36 hours I’ll be returning to work (can I get a big Darth Vader ‘Noooooooooo!!!!!!’?)
and about three weeks from that older kids will return to school.Two weeks after that my wife returns to work
and the family will be diving head first into life.I’m not sure we’ll have the opportunity to
freeze life the way we’ve just done and I’m a little sad about that.Life does not often slow down and I feel like
we’ve put it off just long enough.I
hate to admit it but it’s probably time to hit the play button once more.It’s always a bit scary when you restart that
older computer you’ve had sitting on your desk for years and is covered with cobwebs.
I very much feel like that old computer as I begin prepping for a return to
life (Hey, I look good in cob webs).It’ll
be a fitful wheezing start but it will start and soon will be chugging
away like nothing ever happened.I’ll
miss the alone time, the quiet moments spent holding a newborn and just
watching him (they’re even fascinating when they’re asleep) but there will be
new moments.There always are.

So I’ve
gotta say is ‘Stand back Life!’I’m on
my way back and you better look out if you know what’s good for you!

Friday, June 21, 2013

Back in the day when my girls were younger and just before Lil J was born I started to get into photography. I took a lot of photo's. Way to many probably but it did leave me with the photog bug. I do love taking picture but I got tired of not being in the photos. Over time I got tired of constantly trying to get shoot family functions instead of enjoying them. So with gear that was aging and a lack of desire I slowed the photography shooting to a slow crawl and relied on my trusty cell phone to document life.
Fast forward 10 odd years and with some new changes occurring in my life I have felt the photography itch starting to set in. So I scratched it, bought some newish gear and have been having fun shooting the world around me. It's been fun. I'm not sure if anything I shoot is great (you'll have to be the judge of that I'm afraid) but I do enjoy recording my families lives and perhaps one day in the far off future my off-spring will look at these photo's that some Grandpa two or three generations removed took and they'll be able to share of piece of me and see who I was. It's a romantic thought, I know, but it's why I love photography so much. So now interspersed in my writings and ramblings I'm hoping to bring you a few shots from time to time. Let me know what you think. So without further ado here's a few from a little family gathering the other day.

﻿

My Father.

Eagle Eye Herself (only slightly smiling cuz they're not big fans of having their picture taken...they used to love it!!)

Still Life? Or just ick? ;-)

﻿

I do like landscape stuff and with as much work as my parents put into their garden I had to take a few shots. This was the best of the bunch.

﻿﻿

I'm not as good with the whole 'still life' stuff but this one turned out fairly well. Tried to pull out the reds in the rust and the yellow stripe. Still getting used to using Photoshop again. Not sure if my 'post production' really worked or not.

About Me

Welcome to my site. I raise my kids, love my wife, I write, read, and I ride bikes...alot! That's pretty much what I'm all about. Enjoy your stay and drop me a comment or two. You can also follow my Twitter feed by looking for @jaltevers