Next time your four-year-old has a tantrum in the high street do you: a) tell him off, b) bribe him with a packet of sweets or c) nip into Waterstones and buy him a self-help book? Increasingly, the answer might be the third option. The 'mind, body, spirit' market has found a new, lucrative and impressionable audience - the stressed out under tens and their equally anxious parents.

The adult self-help market - or bibliotherapy, as it has been dubbed - is already worth £84 million. The teen market is also huge. In June publishing figures showed a 100 per cent increase in UK sales of children's self-help titles, with American books such as Teen Esteem and The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens finding an eager market on this side of the Atlantic. The British publisher Hodder has launched a Mind, Body, Spirit list for girls aged from 11 to 14, covering such subjects as astrology and numerology.

Amazon.co.uk is full of reviews from British parents and teachers discovering the joys of States-side self-help books such as the Dinosaurs series When Dinosaurs Divorce, When Dinosaurs Die, How to Do Homework Without Throwing Up and the anti-aggression guides, Teeth Are Not For Biting, Feet Are Not For Kicking, Hands Are Not For Hitting. A review for Brian Hugged His Mother, aimed at four-to-12-year-olds, reads: 'Works well in circle time: anger management, confidence-building and social interaction.'

A new British book Nightlights: Stories for You to Read to Your Child - To Encourage Calm, Confidence and Creativity (Duncan Baird, £10.99), is the most typical of the genre in that it overtly uses the language of self-help. Each story ends with a list of 'affirmations, to help draw out the story's deeper meaning, address issues such as shyness, separation, loneliness, gently help to instil qualities such as confidence, love, sharing, courage and patience'. Designed to be read by parents, children are supposed to close their eyes and concentrate on visualisation techniques.

Billy, aged four, from Wandsworth, south London, tried out Nightlights and another new title I'll Always Love You with his mother Amanda Dickinson, an actress in her late thirties. I'll Always Love You is the simple tale of a bear called Alex who wonders if his mother will still love him even though he has smashed her favourite piece of china (and also dreams of having violent pillow fights, emptying a bowl of porridge over his head and smearing paint all over his baby brother).

It is supposed to be good for confidence-building. Billy adored it. 'He really got the message,' says Amanda, 'He said, "Oh, mummy, will you love me even if I do bad things"?'

He had a harder time with Nightlights which has sold 38,000 copies since it came out in May. It begins with a breathing exercise. The readers are asked to close their eyes and imagine they are holding a magic lantern: 'He liked all the heavy breathing in the beginning and the fact that it said you were supposed to feel warm in your bottom. But in the end he said, "Mum, I'm sick of closing my eyes and holding the lantern. My arms are hurting." I do think the breathing techniques are brilliant for getting them to go off to sleep, though."

Anne Civardi, editor of Nightlights , says she thinks this type of book is timely: 'Children are more scared and anxious than they were 20 years ago. Self-help encourages them to be more aware of themselves. The books encourage calm and teach even tiny children about understanding their emotions.'

A mother of three grown-up children, Civardi says she hears increasingly from parents whose children suffer from panic attacks and have problems with school phobia. 'These stories teach them self-belief, self-discipline and awareness of others.'

Carl Honore, a Canadian author living in London, says: 'My first reaction when I saw these books in America, where they are very popular, was that they are a bit spooky, because you have this idea that it is something like hypnosis for children. But then I realised that they might just be a useful antidote to the hurry-up approach to parenting that is prevalent right now.'

Honore has now written his own book for this market, In Praise of Slow (Orion, £16.99). It was inspired by an incident when, starved of 'quality time' with his children, five-year-old Benjamin and Susannah, who's two, he almost bought a one-minute bedtime read in an airport lounge. 'I've discovered as my son has got older that he is so relaxed after his story at bedtime that he will start telling me things about the playground or about his teacher. It definitely helps to switch into a lower gear if that time is relaxed, if the child has a chance to become "unplugged", to slow the mind.'

According to Professor David Fontana, a psychologist and an expert on meditation who recommends the Nightlights series, the earlier children can learn self-help techniques the better. 'Children as young as five or six have a vivid imagination which can be used to good purpose. Creative thinking is a habit we lose easily from that age: if it is encouraged, it is more likely to bring long-term psychological benefits to the individual. It should be part of the educational process - children should be creatively strong as well as intellectually strong,' says Fontana, who is currently distinguished visiting fellow at Cardiff University.

But is all this old Ribena being sold in new bottles? Caroline Horn, children's news editor at the Bookseller , says children's books have always carried a message - and that is all self-help really is. 'All children's books have some element of a moral. They have always dealt with issues that children might find difficult when they're growing up, even for two- or three-year-olds - what to do if you have a row with your friend, that it doesn't matter if you feel in a bad mood, that it doesn't matter if you fight with everyone, your mum will still love you.'

Horn agrees, though, that these new titles are making these claims much more overtly. 'I think there is room for development in this area. Children are really interested in the bigger questions of life and how they fit into the world around them. Maybe that goes with coping with things like peer pressure and branding from a much earlier age. Maybe now they do need active support below the age of 10.'

Dr Mike Boulton, a psychologist at University College, Chester, whose research focuses on children's social development says that if these stories enhance children's self-esteem, they are no bad thing.

But Boulton stresses that they are not exactly self-help, which is about reading advice and applying it to yourself. 'Self-help books for adults require a recognition that one has a problem. They are an admission of failure, or an acknowledgement of an issue.

'It's a form of therapy without the therapist. This is difficult for young children, obviously. So I think it would only work if they had fictional stories to sweeten the pill. There might be ideas in a story they want to try out.'

Britain may have a long way to go before the saturation point reached by this genre in the American market, though. Teens can choose from as many titles as adults (take your pick from The Code: The Five Secrets of Teen Success; The Goddess in Every Girl: Develop your Teen Feminine Power; A Winner by any Standard: A Personal Growth Journey for every American Teen; Teen Fit for Guys: Your Complete Guide to Fun, Fitness and Self-Esteem; or I am Beautiful: Teen Attitudes, Advice and Affirmations from and for Today's Girl ). Many American primary schools have meditation rooms for pupils as young as five to chill out in.

Fontana says British parents he has spoken to don't have any reservations about using self-help techniques, however: 'These ideas have been pioneered in this country for years, there is nothing American about them. I don't find any resistance to this approach because every parent wants to do the best by their child, and these techniques are of great value to children.'

Billy's mother Amanda,disagrees, however. 'I found it all a bit too American, especially the affirmations at the end of each chapter, "Like people for what they are, not how they look!" "Always make the best of everything"!'

Ultimately, though, the books have one excellent benefit. 'They definitely make children go to sleep - all that heavy breathing,' she says. 'I think there's a lot to be said for the calming techniques because children nowadays are so hyperactive. In the holidays it's all, "What are we going to do today? What are we going to do today?"

'I often feel like Gordon Ramsay in Hell's Kitchen, not knowing where to turn next. I think I may have enjoyed the books more than Billy did.'