SI Vault today posted an image gallery today titled “Zubaz and Sports” which I don’t need to tell you is highly KSK-relevant, especially given the number of football players included. I will say, it took much longer than expected for Gronk to show up. I was starting to get legitimately concerned.

— The Redskins also listed running back Roy Helu as “Robert Helu Jr.” on game tickets. The name may be wrong but it’s nicer than INTERCHANGEABLE BALL CATTLE, which is how Mike Shanahan usually refers to running backs.

— Apparently Adrian Peterson is willing to show up in your rap video even if it’s clear that you’re editing it on your home computer.

— Antonio Cromartie said he’s the second-best receiver on the Jets. A better attempt at trolling would have been him saying he’s the second-best father on the Jets.

— Dustin Pedroia superimposed his face on top of a picture of Tim Tebow running shirtless and posted the image in his locker. Which is good, because Peter King was getting tired about having to choose between which of them to masturbate to.

— Joe McKnight got food poisoning from eating at an Applebee’s. How this has yet to happen to Marshawn Lynch is one of the great statistical flukes of our time.

There are only a couple of Applebee’s in the Seattle area, which really doesn’t have a lot of chain restaurants for a town its size. Then again, there are something like 8 Thai restaurants in Fremont, which comprises about 8 square blocks.