The Morning Wrap: July 2nd

We’re heading into a long weekend (sorta) and that means you don’t have time to catch up with full length news. You need to plan things like how many burgers and beers to buy, and then where to consume said burgers and beers. Lucky for you, Break cares. Here’s the most interesting buzzing stories of the day for you.

Christian Bale Isn’t Batman

The best Batman since Adam West has confirmed that, if DC and Warner make a Justice League movie which, given their track record, will come out in 2025, he won’t star as Batman. Which is just as well because DC is only allowed to make one good movie for every 5 terrible movies, so the odds are not in Justice League’s favor. Worth noting that Warner was planning a sequel to Green Lantern though. Because losing $100 million is no reason to not make a sequel.

Eddie Snowden Speaks

Snowden, world famous whistleblower, has sent a letter from Moscow ripping up the Obama administration for persecuting him and basically stripping him of his citizenship, leaving him a man without a country. But we all saw that movie with Tom Hanks, so we know he can live for years in a French airport if need be, plus maybe fall in love with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Although I hear she may have an STD.

Microsoft Hops on Zynga

Don Mattrick is the President of Microsoft’s interactive entertainment unit, which is basically Xbox and all its gaming stuff - or he was anyway. Looks like he’s quitting to take up a job at Zynga, the company that gave us every single game you’ve ever hated getting an invite to play on Facebook. AKA the company that only gets in the news when it’s losing a ton of money or laying off even more employees. Who knows, maybe this will turn the company into something that doesn’t just make awful farm-themed games. Or maybe not.

Super Vision

Researchers have developed telescopic contact lenses. The profound creepiness of this invention is only matched by its awesomeness. The intention is to help people with something like macular degeneration but we can all see the benefits of hiding in a tree outside someone’s window with a pair of these in. Not in a creepy, awful way, more in a hilarious 80s sitcom way.

60 Billion Habitable Planets

According to science and data from that crazy Kepler observatory from NASA, there could be as many as 60 billion habitable planets in the Milky Way galaxy alone. What makes a habitable planet? One that exists in the habitable zone! The right distance from its sun, the right size, that kind of thing. Of course that just means it could have life, not that it does. Those planets could all be dead, sad little rocks in space, they still need things like water or atmosphere and Starbucks. But hey, with 60 billion in this galaxy alone and at least 100 billion galaxies in the universe, odds are there’s at least one planet full of sexy, green ladies out there somewhere.