Venus-Saturn Aspects—Waiting for Love

While tough aspects between Venus and the inner planets can show relationship challenges, they’re easier to deal with than the difficulties that can arise when Venus is in hard aspect to the outermost planets—Saturn, Uranus, Nep­tune, and Pluto. Hard aspects include conjunctions, semisquares, squares, quincunxes, and oppositions. I find the conjunctions to Venus the most difficult, but all such aspects can indicate challenges in forming relationships.

One of the most poignant is between Saturn and Venus–or Venus in Capricorn, Saturn’s sign–for these are often quality folks. They’ve worked hard to improve themselves and to get somewhere in life, only to discover, when they finally get there, that they’re still waiting for a mate to share it. (You may also see some of the same patterns when Saturn is in the 7th house natally.)

Why would this be the case? The various combinations of Venus and Saturn can make it hard for the person to form relation­ships and to feel love-worthy. Generally one or both parents were Saturnian in the negative sense–rather cold, rigid, somber, authoritarian and unable to show affection. Often, they saw the child mostly as an extra responsibility, an added burden, or even as coming in the way of their own goals and ambitions.

The parents could not love the playful, childish qualities of their offspring, so the child learned to grow up fast in order not to experience the parents’ displeasure. The only way to please the parents was to be as Saturnian as they were, so the child learned that the only way to be “loved” was to be serious, business-like, responsible, and successful…a model child.

The Venus-Saturn aspect often entails a “damned if you do and damned if you don’t” set-up. The child with this aspect has to be self-reliant in order to please the parent. However, the more self-reliant the child is, the more the parent withdraws, grateful that the child no longer needs much of their time and attention. (These parents don’t recognize emotional needs as valid reasons to detract them from other duties.) Therefore, being responsible and reliable also brings about loss of closeness, and so the child is in a bind—whatever he does, he loses.

Saturn relates to time and maturity. Saturn’s current (transiting) sign and the angles it forms to planets in the birth chart trigger the typical stages of maturation in our lives. With an orbit around the Sun that lasts 29.46 years, transiting Saturn makes especially strong aspects to its original place in our chart every seven years—at seven, when we’re really getting involved with school, at 14, when we’re teenagers, and at 21, when we’re legally adults.

Naturally, for the Venus-Saturn person, each time transiting Saturn aspects its natal place, it forms an aspect to natal Venus as well; so each of these periods of growth, accomplishment, maturing, and taking on of responsibility brings progressively less parental support. Experiences like this make it hard for these individuals to trust others to fulfill their needs.

They learned from their parents that they can’t be loved if they aren’t Saturnian, and that they can’t be loved if they are Saturnianeither, so their logical conclusion would be that they can’t be loved at all. They can feel deprived of love; as protection against that painful feeling, they may build walls against the world. The wall winds up reinforcing their feeling of being unlovable, because sooner or later other people stop trying to get through it.

I’ve observed one pattern that sometimes goes with these aspects and that can create a set of difficulties in finding a mate. The aspect is sometimes found in upwardly mobile young people, especially girls. In fact, I’d say the oldest child/oldest daughter is the most common.

Because of family responsibilities and poor parental modeling, they might be called developmentally delayed in the social graces. They are often unaware of and even blind to the nuances and hints that guide the more subtle of social interactions, especially in the male-female realm. They don’t know and thus don’t give off the signals that potential partners are looking for. Instead, they are generally imprinted in adolescence with the sexual signals of their class of origin and may be seen as declasse by potential partners of their intended class. (All this happens on a nonverbal and generally subliminal level.) Yes, they do learn social skills in maturity and can even achieve a degree of elegance.

Young people with this aspect can be spared some of the difficulties by undertaking remedial education in the social graces. Observe all social interactions intently, especially the courtship behaviors. Even casual interactions and flirtations are worth acute study. Social skills are as learnable as any other skill–we just have to work a little harder at it if we didn’t absorb it naturally at home. And, since the older mentor is one gift common to this aspect, perhaps you can find some kindly soul to take you under their wing and coach you. That way, by conscious work on the missing skills, you won’t be 50 and still waiting. And those past one or more of the Saturn returns can also learn some of Venus’ graces and improve their chances, too.

The positive side of a Venus-Saturn aspect is that they don’t get older–they get better. Late bloomers, they may have been plain, awkward teenagers but suddenly become beauties in their 30s or 40s. Nor do they age as harshly as other folks—they may look years younger than their peers.

Their popularity improves with age, too—seriousness doesn’t endear adolescents to their peers but is expected of the middle-aged and older. They build a support group of significant others over time, and these connections tend to be long-lasting. Through their serious approach to life, they can also achieve a great deal in the way of accomplishments that earn them respect. As they accomplish some of their important goals, they tend to relax and feel worthy of pleasure-—they’ve paid their dues.

FREE EBOOKLET FOR SKYWRITER SUBSCRIBERS ONLY: a 50-page excerpt from my out-of-print book, The Moon in your Life, also known as Being a Lunar Type in a Solar World. Read more about it here: NEW: FREE BOOKLET FOR SKYWRITER SUBSCRIBERS! If you’re already a subscriber and want a copy, forward your most recent email notification to me at moonmave@spiritone.com. To sign up for a subscription, go to the top right hand corner of the blog and click on “Subscribe.”

Responses

I sure can relate to your Venus aspect Saturn. I being the oldest child, had all the responsibilities. Venus in Capricorn in oppsition to Saturn is like a double wammy. I have never put into words the way you did but it feels right I really don’t trust others to meet or even think about my needs. It’s like an unanswered wish. I often feel invisable unless someone needs something.

My Venus is semi-square to Saturn in the 7th, and while I’m too young to be worried about marriage (in my opinion, though plenty are married at my age), I haven’t ever been involved in a “relationship.” I feel the somewhat stunted effects in the way that you describe.

What intrigues me though, is that I’ve never felt that this came from parental expectations or examples of behavior. In my case, I feel like it’s more a result of Saturn’s opposition with the Ascendant than something from childhood. And perhaps some of the potential is mitigated by a Venus square to Mars in Capricorn – but that becomes far too personal for discussion here.

While I think what you say is wonderfully insightful and likely accurate, for me there is something deeper being expressed, and I felt it pertinent to say so.

Some of the key aspects in a chart are those whose themes are repeated. In this case, the semisquare from Venus to Saturn is reinforced by the fact that Saturn is in the 7th, which is the house most associated with Venus. And if Saturn were in range of the Descendant, say within 10 degrees of it, it would be stronger still. Donna

So there’s the third (I’ve become a convert to your “rule of three”). Saturn is conjunct my Descendant by about two degrees. I’d never really considered myself a Venus-Saturn person since the aspect between then was a minor one, but I did identify with the descriptions. Now I realize that I just wasn’t seeing all of the signs that were right in front of my face.

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my comment, particularly since it was more personally related than I felt was really appropriate. (Though I misspoke – Venus is trine Mars in my chart – the square wouldn’t mitigate anything.)

By: nicalyse on July 12, 2010 at 8:34 am

I don’t mind when the question is a simple one, and I wouldn’t need to calculate a chart. But, yes, rule of three applies here. Donna

I came upon this blog just today (Aug. 16th) but wanted to respond. Saturn is in first house conjunct Uranus, Asc., and Venus in my chart, opposite Moon and square Mars. Fortunately all in mutable signs (Gemini, Sagittarius, Pisces). All my life I’ve had a a hesitant push-pull with relationships, looking for security but also wanting independence. My marriages (2) were to older partners. I really don’t think I’m suited to marriage!
It seems I am still learning social skills. I’ve learned to pay attention to nuances and the subliminal messages of body language and energy fields (thanks to Mars in Pisces).

I got along better with adults than I did people my own age as a child. I think my mother expected me to act older,but she still wanted to control/mother me at the same time. The other day she was complaining about me as a two year old not listening to her when she took me to a shooting range. I don’t know what she expected from a two year old.^~^ ???
I’ve always been socially awkward,but I can still read/be empathic with people, fortunately. (Sun in Scorpio,Mercury in Scorpio?)

I married a man who’s 7 years older than me,but doesn’t act/look his age and I’ve always dated men who were older than me.

I have written elsewhere about Venus and Saturn…they are conjunct/ parallel in Cancer in the 10th house. This pair is parallel Pluto in Leo in the 10th and conjunct Pluto s nodes. They are also parallel another conjunction of Mars/ Uranus in Gemini which are also parallel conjunct each other in the 9th house.
To repeat I have never believed in marriage, which has to do with the type of social structure we are in. I have had many proposals of marriage from men who were good friends or lovers. Such proposals have ruined these relationships because they were death knells that I took as an affront and attack to personal freedom and personal integrity. I am soverign of myself.
In youth my response threatened an immediate violence ; they shot off and away rather quickly. With age, over the years it just makes me antsy to get down the road post haste! I still get temporarily dysfunctional which is ampted up by how much I like the guy. My last rift was when I was 53 and I feel safe now at 65. ha ha ha Whew!
On another note I remember one lifetime where I was married. It was perfect and once experiencing such perfection its hard to settle for anything less. Indeed I really see no need for any other such experience. The memory does me.We were compatible in every way. We were equal in power and respect from those we served and we had integrity and enduring love. A son we had then is a son to me now.

with a true splash- its so many planets with so many aspects and all of them work one day or another, sometimes all at once — very energy consuming.

my:: Venus (5th, aqua) Quincunx Saturn (10th, cancer)

I agree to
– lack of natural social skill – YES (in younger years.. till 33)
– parental Saturnian relation – YES YES
– an inherent imbalance in relationship — not knowing how much to give and when to say no..
– trying to WIN love instead of accepting it
– late blooming :)

—
also, it is true for me, It is MENTOR-SHIP signal.

I had mentors (typically Scorpio or Capricorns — strange because my Mother was scorpio and father capricorn). These were two men, who were Older to me, one in my teen age and one in my early 30s, who actually made me blossom into a swan..

they typically cut and polish and admire the rough diamond of venus-saturn hard aspects – bringing much required self esteem.
but they never became partners in Romantic sense, though there were exchanges of deep emotions, on both parts.

—
I thank them both very much, the first one, later on became an enemy but the second one is still a friend.

—
now, at 35 I feel sexy, great and very desirable.. which I never did.
I feel suave and articulate, never felt that before :-)

—
some one already said it above, and I concur – i would never want to go back to school/ college years — they were very gawky and painful
—
I have nothing against marriage – love partnerships, but no compromise on a certain level of quality of bond, for i can live alone which I dont like, but can if I have to.

You mention the conjunctions, semisquares, squares, quincunxes, and oppositions between Venus and Saturn. Does this also apply to Venus quintile Saturn? Your description fits me. I don’t have a problem attracting people for love but I’m waiting, waiting, waiting on a quality love. I want a long-lasting marriage, so don’t want to settle for flings (anymore).

It’s funny that you mention Vanessa Williams has Venus conj. Saturn. She always seems so austere to me in her roles. I figured that she has a Capricorn Asc. This makes sense, though, because her roles are usually career-oriented (or materialistic) women who sacrifice her love life to achieve. Cue the emotional meltdown when she realizes that “Success is nothing without someone to share it with.” (Mahogany) Also, she had a very public scandal that adversely affected her reputation but is noted for building herself back up and is now very respected in her multiple fields. Her career story is inspiring to me.

Anyway, I always thought of my Saturn as weak but according to your quiz, it’s very strong! This explains why I attract Saturnian mates and mentors. Hmm…

I’ve struggled with this my whole life. I have venus on the 0 degree of cancer in the 4th, opposite saturn and uranus in extremely tight orbs in the tenth (1st and 0 degree of capricorn respectivley) with a wide opposition to neptune also.
Someone I identify with strongly in the unlovable respect is morrissey (he has the same venus in cancer opposite saturn in capricorn combo and he’s also an early gemini, like me) I’ve only ever had 1 relatively long term girlfriend and it ended very badly. I’m also currently on anti depressants.
It seems I seek out impossible relationships, either falling for people who are in relationships or people who live far away. If something seems too good to be true i back off and miss my chance. a virgo moon doesn’t help things either. writing music has helped me greatly in these issues but it’s pretty much a constant struggle

I realize I am a bit late to the party here, but I am a poster person for the Venus-Saturn conjunction. First child of flighty, not authoritarian, parents. Single and how to relate to men in a romantic situation is beyond me, much like math or balancing a check book is beyond some folks. Give me math any day over a cute man with a nice smile.

I have my Saturn at 17 deg of Aries and my Venus at 19 deg of Aries, both in the 3rd house. My Asc is in Cap. Interestingly, my brother who is one year younger also has a Cap Asc, Venus & Sat in the 3rd house, etc. We have the same sun, Asc & moon.

More fascinatingly, our Aries Sun Mom is a Cap moon and our Aqu Sun Dad is also a Cap moon. Both Mom & Dad are very emotional & child-like and have been for years and years and years, neither Saturn types at all. Both Mom & Dad have married 4 times, moved every year or two or three, have had multiple jobs, etc. At a very early age, 3-4, I became the adult in the family. Still am.

My brother has only recently in his later 30s gotten into a long term relationship, but refuses to marry. While I would like to get married, I am now in my early 40s and have never made it past 6 dates or 6 weeks with any gentleman. At 37, I came to the metaphorical conclusion that my parents had so drawn down on the family ‘love’ bank account that my brother & I were serving in debtor’s prison of no relationship for their expenditures.

On the amusing side, recently I had a work colleague tell me, “Turning 30 is really hard, since you are not there yet, you will find out all about it in a few years.” I just smiled and thought, “Actually, dude, 35 was the real bitch. 42 was cool, but I will just let you think I am late 20-something…”

do you think any of this applies to soft Venus-Saturn aspects, as well?. I have a 4 degree orb sextile between Venus in Pisces and Saturn in Capricorn, and I have always had the unlovable/unattractive complex.
I grew up being overweight, and lost most of the weight at 15, then gained it all back by 18, because I was depressed. I am now 22 and still overweight, and not even driven to lose it because I am almost afraid of relationships. Long story short, really unhappy childhood, being largely neglected in every other way except materially(Saturn in the 4th, Venus in the 6th, conjunct DC). I also felt like like my parents would only love me if I was successful, and that once I got success, they would just cut me loose-this from as young an age as I can remember. I tried to please them until I was about 15, 16, then just gave up on myself and everything. I am still living at home now, although I am dying to leave, I feel i can’t..and it’s not just lack of confidence in my abilities(although I have that, too).
Anyway, after being mocked and told I was ugly all throughout childhood and teens, after my 20th birthday, I started to get really pretty, despite being overweight. My mother, though, always told me I was pretty. I guess that helped a lot.

PS. I also have a tight Saturn-Neptune conjunction, both loosely conjunct Uranus, all in Capricorn, and all in the 4th house(not conjunct IC). And the only aspects my Saturn(and Neptune) make to my chart is a sextile to my Venus, and loose, 7 degree orb trine to my Asc in Virgo.

And another thing about “soft” Saturn-Venus aspects..I also noticed that Vivien Leigh and Catherine Zeta-Jones both only really blossomed in their late 20s. both of them having the Venus-Saturn trine, I mean.

Donna, this is really incredible and explains a lot. I’m a 43-year old man and I’ve always had difficulty establishing relationships. In fact, my upbringing was exactly as you described and both my parents were Saturnian. I always related better to older people and was considered too serious and “old”. As you say, on the plus side I’m always told I look about 35. I definitely feel like a perfect example of a Venus-Saturn person.

In my chart, Venus in Virgo in the 7th is inconjunct (1’37 orb) retrograde Saturn in Aries in the 1st. In addition to that, Venus is also conjunct Uranus and Pluto. For good measure, my Libra Moon is also in the 7th and opposite 1st house Saturn. Just to top it all off, Venus is sextile Mars in Scorpio in the 8th, which is also inconjunct Saturn (1’15 orb), creating a Yod with a Boomerang (Moon opp. Saturn, which is at the apex of the Yod). All that aside, I’ve learned (and continue to learn) to be comfortable and happy with myself. Maybe being a Leo Sun helps!

Reading this article again I can see that yes, indeed, I was, as a child, shown by family messages that I needed to be independent. I was the youngest of four, and got the message that I was unexpected and that my parents were tired by the time they got to having me! I was, however, very dependent as well as wanting independence, so I gave out mixed messages, as well! Saturn AND Uranus conjunct Venus (Gemini), opposite Moon (Sag.) also squaring Mars (Pisces). I am, at almost 69, finding myself without a partner. Sometimes I’m OK with it, sometimes not. With my 12th house Sun, I need a lot of alone time, but my 7th house Moon, even if it IS in independent Sag., likes partnership. Then Saturn puts the brakes on!

I have Venus, Saturn and Mars in the forth house all in the sign of Capricorn. My parents never appreciated my feelings and always tried to make them seem as if they were not important or as if I were making things up in my head. They divorced when I was in 3rd grade and my sisters and I were juggled between the both of them between Pennsylvania and Virginia. I am my father’s oldest child and my mother’s second oldest. My mother’s oldest never lived with us however. I matured at a very early age and was always thought to be too serious and uptight. I labeled myself as “anti-social”, but always managed to have a few friends who I could connect with and just laugh and try to be a kid.

I’m 20 now and am truly on my own in life. My father kicked me out without reason when I was 18 and my mother has all but renounced her role as being a mother. My higher education was never invested in and I had virtually no parental guidance. When I was 17 I met a guy who was 19 yrs older than me and he became a mentor/lover, his moon is in Taurus. That was a very toxic on and off relationship that I just recently called quits for good, however as strange as it was he did help me in different ways and I have a lot more confidence and assurance about myself.

I know that all of that sounds a little bad but I’m actually a well put together young woman. I have a lot of aspirations that I intend to achieve in time. As far as love goes…as a girl I always dreamed of marrying at 18 with the fairy tale and all! But with age came reality, which I am still trying to learn because reality is a very hard thing for me to grasp. The guy I’m with now I met earlier this year, but just like everyone else who has posted I crave that quality relationship, that perfection..I know he isn’t that. However he is helping to support me right now so Im settling but only for the moment. And that where the Capricorn comes in, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do- very business like. Thanks for letting me share my experience!

Thanks for sharing, VB. As a fellow Venus-Saturn type, I relate to what you’ve been through a lot. There’s a certain sense of hardship where love is concerned, comong up the hard way, but it does get better as you mature into adulthood. Best wishes to you. Donna Cunningham

Excellent post, Donna, as always. This is really spot and on , and I can really relate to this. I am nodding my head in agreement with lotshoe, MJ and others (thanks for sharing)

For many years, I had noticed venus semi-sextile saturn , in my natal chart, but ignored it, because one of the astrologers said it was such a minor aspect, and she didn’t think minor aspects influenced the chart much. However, I have always felt like a late developer/late bloomer, ALL my life, and always having had to prove myself, for starters, ALL my life. I wondered if this small semi-sextile had a message for me.

I always assumed a lot of issues came from having a moon-square saturn and a mercury square saturn ( moon/mercury in Sagittarius in the 5th house, saturn in Pisces in the 8th house) and other Saturn contacts ( opp uranus/pluto conjunction in Virgo , etc) . In fact, previously, I would have gone as far as saying it was all to do with having Saturn in the 8th house….

I have venus in aquarius in the 7th house, so I re-examined the venus- saturn connection, read through many descriptions, and came across yours( plus your words/work on minor aspects) and thought it actually said a lot more than the saturn-mercury-moon, connections, although I am sure they count for a lot. I ‘m Sun Sagittarius ( later degrees at 28 degrees- one more day i think i would have been Capricorn)

The following, I think ,will corroborate with your findings:

1. I am the first born, female, and was always expected to do well at school ( getting an education as a means to better life opportunities, as my parents had come from a poor backgrounds Both parents have Capricorn planets: I did a sneak analysis of their charts :) . Mum , Sun Aries with Capricorn moon, and Dad, Sun Pisces with Capricorn Mars)

2. I look very young for my age. I always have, and it made me feel very inadequate, when most my friends looked like gorgeous, desirable young women in their teens. Me, no!! I’m 46, but am now being told ( to both my disbelief and delight!) I look ageless/ elegant/well-turned out /glamorous (What!??) , all the adjectives I had heard about others and had wished I had heard about myself in my teens , 20’s, 30’s! I cannot tell you how uncomfortable I was about looking young, for most of my life….

Like lotshoe, I would NEVER ever want to go back to re-living my teenage years at school. Even though I had many , many friends, and enjoyed studying ( I have moon sextile venus, mercury sextile venus, Jupiter in Gemini in the 12 house. Venus in the 7th means, I probably played and still play the role of peace-maker and mediator , personally and professionally )I just had no confidence and felt very unattractive.

3. Having to prove myself, academically( I ended up getting four degrees- out of a) economic necessity to get a job b) love of learning c) proving to the family I could now get better opportunities in life d) staving off the fear of feeling intellectually mediocre or inferior. I feel I work very hard to get anywhere, in life, and I don’t mind that at all. I expect to, in fact. Easy come, easy go.

I spent time, after my painful Saturn return ( aged 28/29) working on Saturn issues, using alternative routes, such as flower essences, reflexology and eventually went back to having art back into my everyday life ( I studied art at college and university) . I had read saturn-venus contacts are creative and can work at turning art/creativity into a business.

4. Accomplishing achievements that earn you respect as you get older: I am starting to find that is happening. Work colleagues , family and friends do know that I have had to work very hard, and know if I have anything to say, about my subject area, I am serious and have deep knowledge. That’s very nice to know, actually. Hard work eventually pays off in the end, no matter what.

5. I fear rejection as many people do I, so I would rather make friends (venus in aquarius) and test the waters, that way, rather than make a complete idiot of myself! Although I can be very cheeky and flirty, I would probably run a mile, out of fear, if I had to flirt, spontaneously, in a social situation.

So, back to re-discovering the Saturn-venus connection in my chart, I think , however a minor aspect it is, I would like to say thank you, Donna, for writing about this. It made so much sense, and filled in the missing gaps of information of why I felt or acted a certain way. I feel I can now own this part of me, fully, now and work on it positively , as a tool for greater self-understanding : after all I have plenty of squares in my chart, so I am up for a challenge :).

I think minor aspects actually have far more impact on the chart, judging from what others have said in their posts, when taken as a whole ( not necessarily on their own). :)

Hi, your article is the best of the ones I read about Venus-Saturn aspects. I have Venus-Saturn opposition making a triangle with Jupiter. I always have felt unloved in whole my life. Your writing is so true. My parents are Saturnian. Especially my father. He doesn’t show his love and he doesn’t pay attention to my emotions. He always wanted to proof myself first. They don’t let me to take responsibilities and I’m addicted to them. Any time I find a friend or a group of friend, they left me. And I fell in love with men who abuse me or unreachable. My life is like a drama with one player-just me. It’s a monologue. Even if I tried to hard, people always run away from me. And I’m not a cold person, with a Libra rising. I’m a smiling and talkative person.

So I understand that this will never end. There is no such a solution to get out of the circle. I worked so hard, like a Saturnian but nevet get any prize. I decided to end it. I won’t live the same things for another 10 year.

Yes, it’s almost like you have to become a new person..Once you have let go of your negative emotions and perspective of your past. Saturn does make us do a lot of work in the beginning, it’s like climbing a mountain. But the second half of work comes in when we finally get to the top of that mountain. We have learned all of the hardships and pains of life and we have gained a vast and clear perspective. Going down the other side of that mountain is our true test of Saturn. Anyone can go through a rough life, but not everyone can come out of that hardship with 360 degrees of experience and the ability to make sound decisions, and past judgment fairly, and have the strength to live a happy life. Our potential is that of Saturn itself and more! Stay motivated and remember your power always :)

I am in need of some Venus/Saturn advice, being a parent of a daughter with such aspect. My daughter who is not two yet has Libra Saturn 3rd house, square Cap. Venus in the 6th. Her father is not in her life, and to make matters worse, my own Sun opp. Saturn squares her stellium (Sun, Merc., Mars, Nept) in Aquarius. Luckily, my moon trines it, but…I have gone online looking for…hope.

In retrospect she is quite intelligent and I have found myself doing some of the things people on here have said their parents do/did, like letting her play by herself so I can cook, clean or study (I’m a full time student), even when she wants me to play with her. I have nobody to help me parent her and I am worried that all this responsibility I have will have a negative affect on her in the long-term. I love her so much, and everyone on here is doom and gloom about their parents and I don’t want her to ever feel that way about me…resentful as everyone seems on here. I wish I could give her myself and my time all day, everyday…but I can’t, it’s impossible. What do I do? Maybe the saving grace here is her Leo moon in the 1st? I love her to pieces…she’s all I have.

Davita, you won’t be in school forever, and you sound like a loving and responsible parent who’s juggling a lot of things. Could you perhaps find ways to involve her in the cooking and cleaning, not in a heavy way but making it fun for both of you? Or, maybe you and a classmate with children could share study/play dates? Donna

Hello Donna, thank you for the reply. She has a vacuum and play-kitchen that she does very much enjoy, and we also do play-dates with other children. I just have this fear, and worry in the back of my mind that I’m not doing enough. I wish I could find someone with this aspect who had a positive experience with their parents (or single parent), but it seems there aren’t any.

By: Davita on January 16, 2013 at 4:44 pm

Hi Davita,

I am reading this 6 months after you have posted, and I hope you will get to read my reply.

I have a Venus-Saturn conjunction in my natal chart, and I would like to tell you that you have indeed found someone who had a very positive experience with both parents while growing up!

My mother and father had, and still do have, a wonderful marriage and relationship. They were both there for me while I was growing up, and they spoilt me rotten as a kid and gave me so much love and care that I feel indebted in a way which I can never repay. My childhood is full of nothing but happy memories because of them, despite this horrible aspect in my chart.

I think you shouldn’t have anything to worry about, and I can tell by what you wrote about your daughter that you love her very much. I’m sure she will feel the same about you, the way I do about my parents.

I have a wide quincunx between Venus and Saturn (4 degrees) so all reports/readings didn’t mention this till one report actually did and it made so much sense.

Then I read this post (years ago) and I finally understood why I felt uneasy with male-female dynamics – because my parents didn’t teach them to me + I’m the oldest daughter, like you say.

Well, thanks to this post, you inspired me so I started a long research/study on social graces and flirtation and read great books that helped me understand my feminine strenghts. And my relationships with men greatly improved.

Hi, I wrote before but now I start to look from a different aspect so I wanted to write again. I was searching the archetypes and one of them attacted my attention, “the orphan, abandoned child”. I read several articles about it and found our some tales on it. I realized that the orphan archetype has almost the same theme with hard Saturn-Venus aspects.Clarissa Estes’ “Warming the Stone Child” recording is very helpful, also reading many tales about abandoned children. It doesn’t matter if the person is abandoned in real or not. The important thing is to have these feelings inside, feelings of being rejected, left lonely, uncared, unloved…etc. I believe working with this archetype could really help to improve this aspect to a more positive experience, about gaining power.

Nina, there are a couple of articles here about quintiles, so have a look. Short version, I and my Skywriter readers did a research project on several of the lesser-known aspects including the quintile. The issues and dynamics of planetary pairs (like Venus and Saturn) were similar, regardless of the particular angle between them. The one thing I would say about Venus quintile Saturn that is different from other Venus-Saturn aspects is that there can be a strong artistic gift in the various tactile arts like pottery, textiles, or sculpture. Donna

Hi, I want to know that, I have Saturn & Venus in my 3rd house, and till now i m not success in my life mean not get satisfactory job. Will u help me regarding to this?When (which year)did I get married. Is it a major issue?

Question #1: Having Venus and Saturn in the 3rd has nothing to do with your career or your job. The career houses are the 2nd, 6th, and 10th, plus the Midheaven.
Question #2: Western astrology cannot predict what year you will get married.

These are major life questions that cannot be answered on a blog. For more information on these questions, you would need a chart consultation with a professional astrologer who uses the date, time, and place of your birth. I am retired from doing chart consultations. Donna Cunningham

My Saturn opposition Venus will be triggered by Saturn return after this month. I’m going to a therapist for healing my past traumas about relationships so I hope this return will be more constructive than being destructive. I wonder how should I behave or think for following Saturn’s lessons and change myself in a better way?

One other comment. My sister, who is younger than me (we are the only two siblings), has a venus saturn conjunction and fits the description completely, including for all practical purposes being the “older sister.”

Coming late to this topic but find it interesting. Glad I’ve rediscovered Donna after 30 years. I have a Trine from Venus in Pisces to Saturn in Cancer (1+ orb) but also have Uranus in Gemini in 5 square Venus (2 degree orb), Pluto in Leo in 7 inconjunct Venus (<2 degree orb) and Neptune in Libra in 9 inconjunct Venus (1+ orb). The Saturn influence seems to make it easy for me to make friends with women (I am male) but not being able to carry through and hold back when it might become romantic. I think I fear rejection, want the perfect relationship, etc

Venus in a man’s chart represents his wife. Venus in Pisces is an exalted position! However, this placement does cause a man to long for that perfect woman/relationship. This video will be helpful.

By: VenusButter on July 6, 2014 at 4:43 am

i have venus square saturn aspect; and what you’ve written does apply to me. being an only child who wasn’t allowed to socialize much, i’m socially awkward. although i’m naive, my approach is too serious for my peers. i try to be friendlier, but it often doesn’t work out as i hope to be. i don’t know how to soften my hard edges; sometimes i’d use my jupiternian qualities (second strongest nature), but it makes me look childish, annoying, and irresponsible instead. i just.. don’t know how to express myself in the right way. i feel so sad and embarrased.

but you’re right, Donna. probably these qualities of mine will be needed when i grow older. i need to be patient. my serious and responsible qualities are the ones that lead me to success anyway. i should be thankful.

Thanks for sharing about your Venus-Saturn aspect, Bobby. It does get better as you mature. I was also socially awkward, and had to literally teach myself the social graces. I remember making a project of learning how to make small talk. Donna