10 Things That Are Awesome… because AWESOME

It’s Wednesday, which is ALMOST as good as Friday because it’s halfway TO Friday and…

I lost my train of thought. Probably for the best. Let’s talk about awesome things, k? K.

1. Color change straws

Girlfriend has this thing where she can’t sip a mixed drink straight from the cup; she HAS to have a straw. So, the other night she went out and bought straws (in her Pjs and slippers because she can). GUYS. These things change color with temperature: pink to purple, blue to pink, yellow to green… it’s AWESOME, especially when you’re drunk and the little fingerprints you leave along the straw as you drink change color too.

2. Fairy tales

Not the Disneyfied ones. Those are watered down blah (unless you’re talking about Peter Pan and don’t you DARE diss Peter Pan if you value your life). Ever read the original version of The Little Mermaid? HOMEWORK! Read it. While you’re at it, track down all the originals that Disney fucked up and prepare to be both terrified and fascinated.

3. Guilty pleasure Netflix marathons

TV rots your brain, or so they say. But I say we’re adults and things like alcohol and children rot our brains faster, so *sticks tongue out* There are few things that can compare to finding a new favorite show (mine is ONCE UPON A TIME) and devouring ALL OF THE SEASONS in 2-3 sessions. Make sure there’s snacks and beer. AWESOME.

4. Trips down musical memory lane

I shit you not, I bought not one, but TWO CDs over the last month. I know, weird, right? They were NSYNC’s No Strings Attached and Justin Timberlake’s first solo album, Justified. Why? BECAUSE THEY’RE AWESOME.

You may know him as Dr. House, but Hugh Laurie ALSO wrote a book, and that book is fucking awesome. Crime thriller meets British humor with descriptions that make a person cringe (like “ears that looked like they’d been chewed up and spit back out on the sides of his head, albeit unevenly”). If your library doesn’t have a copy, just buy it.

8. Melted snow

Sure, we COULD just call it water, but that would completely negate the trauma of the last 6 months. IT’S SPRING, BITCHES!

9. Girlfriends with a can-do attitude and an obsession with clean things

I will never have to clean the oven, or dust the fans, or replace light bulbs, or scrub the bathroom. Be jealous.