Wednesday, January 25, 2012

If I'm on a cruise, I have a few expectations that might not be written down. They're not too much to ask, I don't think. All I want is that the boat that I'm on stays on top of the water. And I'd really like it if all of the parts of the boat that are supposed to be above the water stay that way throughout my cruise. If that fails to occur, I'm going to consider my cruise a failure. Call me crazy, but if I'm on a cruise and the boat sinks while I'm on it, someone has failed in their quest to provide me with what I would consider a 'cruise'. If when I exit the ship it is no longer upright, I'm going to go ahead and consider that a failure. Crazy, I know. But that's just me.

You know how I know it's just me? Because I just read what the Costa Concordia people offered the passengers that were on their cruise ship that is now perpendicular with the waterline. These are people who had to escape the sinking ship without the direction from the majority of the crew and captain, as a lot of them were practicing the "save yourself" mantra and getting themselves into lifeboats first. These are people who were aboard a ship that ran aground and dozens of people died as a result. I'm not saying that it's the worst tragedy that's ever happened (it was not 'just like Titanic'), but I am saying that it was bad enough that the cruise line should offer those who were on the ship a little bit more than thirty percent off of a future cruise!

That's right. According to the Daily Mail, Carnival Cruises (which owns the now horizontal Costa Concordia) said "The company is not only going to refund everybody but they will offer a 30 per cent discount on future cruises if they want to stay loyal to the company." Well, I should hope that they'd be refund everybody. Was that even an option? And I don't know what other compensation they should receive, but I think that it should be something that doesn't involve having to do business with them ever again. The boat is laying down! What makes them think that any of those passengers would want to take another cruise with Sideways Liners?!

And really, only thirty percent off?! Not like a free cruise to make up for the one that the (allegedly) drunken captain ran aground off the coast and caused the ship to eventually capsize? No, not even half off of your future (and possibly doomed) cruise that of course you would want to book with these yahoos. Yeah, they're offering a whopping thirty percent off. Sure. That should calm some tempers.

Seriously, let me get this straight. You're the cruise line and your plan for disaster is every man for himself. The captain is going to leave and it's going to be absolute bedlam aboard the sinking vessel. Not to mention the dozens of deaths that will occur. And you're offering people thirty percent off? Are you on glue? What if someone lost their spouse? Could they get forty percent off? And you know, the one compensation that I hate the most is the one where those who have given you crappy service expect you to come back to them so that they can discount whatever they give you (which may or may not still be crappy) the next time. Next time?! What on earth makes you think I would ever want to come back here? The boat sank for Christ's sake!