There are two things infinite, the universe and human stupidity, although I
am not too sure about the former.

Welcome to my realm of
controversial sarcastic humour looking at human stupidity from my point of
view.

Due to the existence of morons, disclaimers are
ne

cessary. Please read the
one at the bottom of the page.

Because real men bitch like hell...

Monday, July 09, 2007

another day, another lesson

Come to think of it, I haven't written something real in a long, long time. I just spent the last 5 minutes trying to think how I should start this post, and yet this is the best I could come up with. Something's not right. So let's try again.

I just came back from Bangkok a couple of days ago. It was an impromptu business trip that my boss was supposed to go but sent me at the last minute. All that isn't really important except for the fact that I observed many things that confirmed my faith in the flaw of the human character. There are a few stories, but some of them very sadly, can't be shared here. Still, enjoy these few...

One night after dinner and feeling particularly bored, I called up my Thai friend from my uni days. He said he would take me out 'for a drink'. I soon found out that the 'drink' was actually a special clubbing event where drinks were free flow and where you needed an invite to get in.

Apparently, this buddy of mine now hangs out with 'high society people' (his own words) which was an image he never seemed to portray in uni. I have been to events like this, but this was the real deal. As one of his big shot buddies said to me, "Welcome to Bangkok man. Have fun, you are partying with celebrities." I should stress here that celebrities is a term I use loosely. There were famous Thai singers, actors and actresses. I was also introduced to a couple of hot chicks who were apparently famous models (in Thailand anyway). But besides the conventional celebrities per se, there were loads of corporate big shots, all young, and all loaded with cash.

And I learnt a couple of things there:

When you go to a party and notice that EVERYBODY is good-looking, it either means you are drunk, or more likely, everybody is loaded with cash. This is because cash buys you clothes that can make you look sexy, skin-care products that does wonders, a great haircut, and more importantly - plastic surgery.

Pompous people are everywhere. Some of the big shot dudes were speaking to each other in English (flawless, I might add) even though pretty much everybody speaks to each other in Thai. English, after all makes you seem more....upperclass.

Thais are extremely proud and supportive of their local entertainment industry. The whole night, the DJ spinned Thai songs and when the live bands came on, they were all local celebrities - everything from Thai rock, pop, rap and hip-hop. People were singing along to almost every song that came on, which was pretty much an indication of how well they knew their local music.

At the party, my buddy pointed out this chick who he claimed he shagged 2 weeks before that. After which, he conveniently forgot to call her until 5 days after the event, where he was annoyed that she didn't want to pick up the phone and was ignoring him. At the party, she came with her friends and danced around near our group (because they have mutual friends too) and kept ignoring him when he called out to her. That said, I did catch her glancing over at him a couple of times when he wasn't looking. Mid-way through the night, she was busy sticking her tongue down one of his friend's throat - a guy she just met that night.

From which, I confirmed my already extensive and extremely accurate knowledge of the human species, which can be summarised by just two sentences:

Men are assholes.

Women are attention seekers.

On the flight home to KL, we were on the same flight as a few of our national badminton players who had lost the previous day in the Thailand Open. Among the famous names were Wong Choon Han, Chan Choong Ming, Roslin Hashim, and Rashid Sidek. There were also a few other unknowns - some of whom were fat and didn't resemble athletes, never mind national ones. There was this one dude who looked extremely familiar who was talking to Wong Choon Han near the check-in counters.

I nudged my colleague:

Eh, who is that ar? Very familiar..Yeah, can't remember.I know he plays doubles, his name is on the tip of my tongue..Doubles ar? Nolah I can't remember..

Seriously kids, when you grow up, don't be an asshole. Don't butt into other people's conversation if you don't know what they are talking about. Especially when they other person's name is Vincent.

But back to the athletes who didn't look like athletes. After checking in, I went looking for lunch at the departure lounge and found Burger King. To my horror, some of them were actually having lunch at Burger King! Professional athletes eating Burger King?!!?

In the top European leagues, professional footballers don't even touch a chocolate bar or a pack of potato chips. They eat crappy tasting food like soft mushy pasta and steamed chicken. Freaking fast food burgers are certainly out of the question! How the hell can you call yourself a professional athlete? That said, among the group that were having lunch in Burger King, I didn't recognise any of them except Roslin, and so now we know why he sucks ass...

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