Datta Dayadhvam Damyata Shantih Shantih Shantih

Match.Com Me

So studies have shown that married people live longer and are healthier over the course of their lives. Married men have lower risks for heart attack and stroke. Insurance companies are jumping on the bandwagon, and employers–ever eager for lower insurance rates–are too. That’s why an unmarried friend of mine was required to attend a compulsory after-hours meeting at her company. They brought in a representative from Match.com who was offering a special deal to employees. For only $75.00 you could have a 10-week “ground floor” membership. You meet with a make-over consultant from Clinique, a wardrobe specialist and an ettiquette specialist. You get a free booklet with conversation-starters for first- and second dates and you also receive three tailor-made match-ups with a person of the opposite sex. (No options were available for same-sex preferences.)

The weird thing is that about 95% of my friend’s colleagues were already married. Ten minutes into the presentation she could feel all eyes in her direction, and by the end of the compulsory meeting she was ready to pay the $75 for no other reason than the unspoken pressure from her colleagues. She doesn’t particularly WANT to be married. She’s never found the right person and a few years ago felt that perhaps she was being called to a life of singlehood. But she’s put up with digs from her co-workers often, and is always getting the scutwork assignments because she doesn’t have a husband and family to get home to. (Most of her co-workers are married women.) She called me in a dither to ask my opinion. She didn’t really have the spare $75, but the fact that the meeting was compulsory and her co-workers were following her out to her car with such phrases as “this may be just what you need!” and “I bet this will help you get back on track with the dating scene!” were all conspiring to make her feel like she should just fork over and be done with it. She’d stayed an hour and a half late after work to put up with the whole lecture.

What do you think? Are you as offended as I am about how a company would meddle in someone’s personal life? How such pressure creates a negative work environment?

Well, replace the whole “Match.com” and “married people live longer” with “Weight loss program” and “Obesity anecdotal health risk”. Because that’s what really happened. Although we’re so used to the Diets Are Good For You party line we don’t think about the other stuff anymore. Even though there is more conclusive evidence that married people live longer than there is about obesity CAUSING disease. (Remeber, gang, correlation doesn’t equal causation.)

We wouldn’t force non-Christian employees to attend a church service even though life is easier, and therefore less stressful and healthier, if you are Christian in this part of the country. We wouldn’t force straight people to get involved in gay relationships even though homosexual couples have more disposable income. So why is okay to force someone to stay late to be guilted into a diet?

If they’re going to publish correlations that married equals less stress, then I’m going to speculate that the correlation is because married people don’t have to put up with the constant pressure to get hitched.

Are they /trying/ to drive your friend into an early, stressed-out grave? Because obviously their ‘concern’ (scare quotes intended) is the only thing really fretting her.

Was everyone forced to go to this meeting? What a waste of time and resources. I don’t mean that it would have been better if individuals had been singled out, but wouldn’t it have made more sense to put out an announcement that such a meeting was going to happen and anyone who wanted to attend would be welcome?

It’t because your company pays for part of your health insurance. If you would prefer to pay 100% of your own health insurance, I am sure your company wouldn’t care how obese you are or what you eat. And maybe the company health insurance plan offered a discount for the company premiums if x number of plan participants exercised regularly or had healthy habits. This is not a conspiracy, companies only care about the bottom line. If they weren’t somehow saving money by it, the wouldn’t give a rat butt about their employee’s health.

And are you really arguing that there is no correlation between obesity and health issues? It’s not just disease that is categorized as health issue. But you are honestly telling me that carrying extra weight doesn’t tax your joints, respiratory system, etc? Chronic obesity will result in more wear and tear of your body which results in more doctor visits which results in higher premiums for the company.

Update: It has been two weeks since the mandatory meeting and the boss has pushed the program in the weekly staff notes twice. Today, it was accompanied by the line, “I hope to see you there!” This may not sound too sinister to most of you out there, but this boss has a history of pushing people to do things that he is not allowed to require and then holding it against people if they don’t capitulate. Anyone who knows him could read his true meaning to be, “I’ll know if you don’t sign up!” I don’t have anything against the program or weight loss. I just resent having my employer pry into my personal life. My weight loss or gain is not their business. They could have made the program available without the mandatory meeting and high pressure tactics.

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