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Journalists scour ocean for missing news

Journalists from all corners of the world have taken to ships and planes, desperately searching for the news which was last seen at the weekend, but is now thought to be adrift and bobbing around aimlessly out of reach.

Hundreds of theories have been deployed to see if they float, as yet without success, while satellite images appeared to show something of significant size, though it later turned out to be a large group of journalists clinging to a tiny piece of speculation.

One journalist said: “Nobody can tell if this story is dead or not. As far as we are concerned, no news is still good news.”