The Daily Show returned to Comedy Central last night with a well-rested and well-fired-up Jon Stewart at helm champing at the bit to blast Republicans for all the things they've fucked up while he was away.

After almost killing the fiscal cliff deal over the course of a few bizarre hours yesterday,…
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"This is just a simple, down-the-middle, black-and-white, cut-and-dry, warm cup of what-would-Jesus-or-any-other-human-being-that-isn't-an-asshole-do, and you blew it," Stewart excoriated House GOP members.

"Look, Republicans — I get it," Stewart concludes. "I get that you're 'the party of limited government,' but we're not talking about Obamacare here, this was two paragraphs giving aid to people in need and you still couldn't vote for it because of some stupid principle that you yourselves only occasionally live by."

He continued: "If you guys can't vote for this, then we're fucked for the next two years. And I'm not saying you're responsible for all the problems facing our country, but you sure are making them a lot harder to fix."