Those recent reports that Lawrence Kasdan and Simon Kinberg had been approached to draft Episodes 8 and 9 seemed to provide some semblance of straightforward closure to at least one aspect of the increasingly muddled Star Wars rumor mill, and therefore they must be destroyed. According to The Hollywood Reporter, it seems that Kasdan and Kinberg have been hired to work on the Star Wars franchise, but not necessarily on the next two official chapters. Rather, they might instead be focusing on "spinoffs" separate from the next trilogy akin to the individual character films in the Marvel universe, and certainly not akin to Ewoks: The Battle For Endor, because ha ha, that film doesn't exist. You only dreamed it. Wilford Brimley and Ewoks? That makes no sense.

Anyway, like all Star Wars reports, none of this has been officially confirmed by Disney or Lucasfilm, but we're reporting it regardless, as we are suckers and so are you. But given that Kasdan's work on Empire Strikes Back and Return Of The Jedi specialized in dialogue-driven moments, such as the bickering between Han Solo and Princess Leia, we're nevertheless eagerly await his searing drama exploring the dissolution of their marriage, Who's Afraid Of The Bounty Hunter In Ord Mantell?