Monday, July 25, 2011

WELL, SHEET!!

When I get out of bed each morning, the first thing I do is make my bed.

Yes, I'm serious.

No, I'm not joking.

And I'm pretty sure my mom is clutching at her heart in stunned disbelief because I have never been known for my neat-and-tidy boudoir. Ask anyone. They'll tell you. When TheManTheMyth and I were selling our first house, I naively thought we'd be warned notified BEFORE any showings and I was a bit lax in the housekeeping department. So imagine what prospective buyers got to see when they came to look at our house while we were at work. Yet it still sold. And I have to tell you this story about it:

It was a Sunday morning, around 10:00am. We were lazing around in bathrobes, reading the paper when the front door opened. In walks 2 men, a woman and a small boy. It was a realtor showing the house. On a Sunday morning. With absolutely no prior warning. Hello. And of course the house was a bit of a mess. Shocking, I know.

So we scramble around, getting dressed and straightening up and while we did not leave, we tried to stay out of the way.

The people are looking around our messy house and after about 15, 20 minutes they leave. I'm sure they were just as embarrassed as we were. Or not.

As soon as they left our messy house on that Sunday morning, TheManTheMyth looks at me and says, "Great. We sure made a great impression." And I said to him, "They're the people who will buy our house." TMTM snorted and said, "Right." About two hours later, our realtor calls to tell us they had made an offer on the house.

SOLD!!

Okay, back to my bed.

I make my bed every morning. But lately, something strange has been happening. I'll go into my bedroom for something and my bed has become unmade.

But only on my side of the bed. The ManTheMyth's side is always untouched.

I'll remake it and go about my business. Later, I'll go back and once again, my side of the bed is unmade:

And then the other night, I got into bed and the bottom sheet, the fitted sheet was in shreds. It looked like someone had taken a knife and sliced a 12" slice and then ripped it back further.

And I'm all, "WHAT THE HELL?!?!?" Especially since it was a brand new sheet. And this was not the first time I've discovered my bottom sheet all shredded up.

And do you know it's almost impossible to find sheets sold separately these days? You used to be able to buy sheets separately but now they're sold in sets. Well, I have 50 gazillion flat sheets and pillowcases but only two fitted sheets, thanks to the sheet shredder.

Meet the Sheet Shredder:

Miss Gracie Lou likes to jump up on the bed, pull down my side of the covers and dig at the bottom sheet prior to snuggling down with her head on my pillow for a nice nap. I caught her red-handed.

My seester Bippy passed on a tip on where to find individual sheets. Target (dot) com. Yep, the 'Zhay seels individual sheets on their website. 100% cotton, too. Which is good because I do not allow man-made fibers on my bed. True, these aren't the highest quality sheets but as long as they're 100% cotton, I'm good.

So I ordered three California King fitted sheets and they should be here by the end of the week. And if I were smart, I'd make this a monthly order until I have enough fitted sheets to last me a long time.Because I never know when the Sheet Shredder will strike again.