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THERE'S NO NEED FOR LIGHT BULBS, WE'LL ALL GLOW IN THE DARK: D'oh!

From Louie Miller: I had to pass along this hysterical take on our esteemed Governor's plan to bring all the nation's nuclear waste to our state. It's from Marty Russell, a columnist for the Daily Journal.
Finally the state of Mississippi has decided to join the 21st century after spending about the last 200 years in the 18th. Now I know some will argue that the Republican leadership in Jackson is just looking for a way to make a quick buck and claim job creation after the state was rejected as a proposed site for a landfill for all of New York’s and California’s household garbage (lawmakers in those states cited transportation costs and ethical concerns about treating their garbage that way), but now lawmakers are considering opening the state up to nuclear waste disposal.
As the state does whenever it wants to woo a big industry to come here, it is considering all sorts of incentives, including changing the state motto to, “Send us your tired, your poor, your radioactive,” and changing the name of the state capital to Chernobyl.
This could be a major step forward for the state. Nuclear power is the future. Coal and gas reserves are finite, and we’re depleting them faster and faster every day.
But nuclear energy lasts forever or, at least in the case of plutonium, for a half-life of 25,000 years.
Who wouldn’t want an industry in their state that’s guaranteed to be around for generations to come, assuming those pesky scientists are wrong about the sterilization effects of long exposures to radiation? Economic developers in the state already are preparing glowing – some of them literally – reports about the impact the nuclear waste industry could have on the state. They want to bring the radioactive materials that result from nuclear power generation and medical uses to Mississippi and recycle it, if the Obama administration changes its stance on such activity.
As anyone in state government will tell you the current administration in Washington is ruining the state with programs like Obamacare and an unwillingness to let Mississippians handle the nation’s nuclear waste.
This state is brimming with nuclear scientists, or at least with pickup trucks and shovels. We have a proven record of burying problems.
So the Obama administration needs to get off its you-know-what and realize that there’s no better place to dump this nation’s nuclear waste than right here in the good old state of Mississippi.
Think of the jobs, think of the investment, think of the perks. OK, so maybe we’d wind up with two-headed deer. That’s two trophy mounts for one bullet.
And catfish the size of Buicks? Hey, think of the fish frys.
Of course, it will be a tough sell for some Mississippians concerned about ruining the state’s natural resources or the ability for unwed, teen-age girls to procreate, but I have a suggestion that could change those people’s minds.
Blame it on Obama. Tell them the president mandated that we had one of two choices: Either take the nuclear waste or Miley Cyrus.
I don’t know about you, but I’d go for the nuclear waste in a heartbeat.