Monday, October 30, 2006

My life ain't all that bad; and there are a few people that deserve recognition for keeping me going. Now it's time to thank all the people that made my life better last week.

First shouts go to Denise, Natalie, and JR for throwing sick Halloween parties. Denise as Rainbow Brite was nice, at least until another chick came to the party with the same costume. Oooh wee. Denise bitched about it then said, "She's lucky I'm drunk." Then the chick was bitching at her friends later and said, "You know, she's lucky I'm drunk!" Interestingly enough, alcohol STOPS fights between chicks. If we guys could only be so lucky. Jumby Bay was rocking; then I had to check out Natalie and the rest of the Boners out in the middle of nowhere; sorry I meant in Royal Palm Beach.

Shouts to Joel for putting me on to some new shows. 1 vs. 100 is a sweet new game-show. I like trivia shows, and Ken Jennings makes a guest appearance. And Studio 60 is solid. And it's a good thing that all of the majors jumped on the online tv bandwagon. You can watch pretty much any new show from the networks online. I'm watching Shark now. Good show. Oh, and Fox's Standoff is slightly watchable.

Big shouts to Peyton Manning for running a two-minute drill like he was in a scrimmage game. And to the Oregon State Beavers for unseating the USC Trojans in the biggest upset this year.

Monday, October 23, 2006

The dvr people need to come up with a better technology. Or more specifically, go ahead and move the dvr thing along further. I can only record two things at the same time. There are too many shows to check out. I can't be put in the position of picking just two of them! Let's get cracking geeks. Get off the World of Warcraft mission and start PROGRAMMING!

Ever since 24 came out and introduced what I call the continous season. Every other show is copying them like the spineless sheep that they are.

Were you one of the people like me that tried to start watching 24 halfway through the season? Yea I know, you can't enjoy it. You sit there the whole time wondering what the hell is going on! It's like walking into the middle of a movie.

What ever happened to the "episode." Remember those? Did anyone care when they missed half of a season of Quantum Leap?! Of course not. Everything you needed to know was in the intro. And what about Macgyver and the A-Team and Knight Rider. Solid tv that didn't require a dissertation about nuances of each characters journey.

I'm watching the NBC show 'Heroes' right now and I don't have a clue what's going on. And from what I see so far, I'm not missing much. Basically, some people have superpowers and are trying to save the world. Okay, it's not original, but it's workable. And it don't look like they're working it right.

The overacting!? Can someone turn the dial down just a little please. Holy shit, the cop guy's girlfriend should be fired before she destroys another scene.

And another thing, I'm starting to HATE the mysterious guys in the suits. Does EVERY goddamn show on tv have to someone's 'agents' working on some conspiracy to undermine the efforts of the stars.

But I won't be too harsh. (lol maybe too late) I'll give it a chance. Maybe I'll sign up for an online tutorial about why Japanese guy's so weird, and why the invincible girl is wasting her powers on a school bully. Yawn.

That's why I watch Boston Legal. Because it knows that it is a ridiculous show. But it doesn't care. It knows that tv nowadays is a complete waste of Americas time. And if I'm going to waste my time, i'm going to do it with William Shatner. God I love that guy.

Friday, October 13, 2006

All I got to say about this movie is that Leonardo DiCaprio can act his ass off. Seriously. He's unbelievable. Somebody get him a 'Best Actor' nod, pronto! And sorry, Marty, no best director this year. The only way Martin Scorsese will win an Oscar for that is if nothing really good comes out for the rest of the year.

As a narrative, it's solid. It's filled with twists and turns that'll keep you on your feet. And you are going to love the third act.

The acting is really the star of show. The cast includes: Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jack Nicholson, Mark Wahlberg, Alec Baldwin, and Anthony Anderson. And that's just off the top of my head.

It doesn't beat out Heat or Goodfellas. But nice. I'm going to watch it again if that says anything about how good it is. A-

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

One of the good things about having laptop is that I can talk about stuff as I see it happen around campus. And there's a lot of crap to gripe about. So here are: Gripes!

Gripe one is white people sitting on the floor. What the hell is with white kids and the urge to plop their asses on the dirty, bug-ridden ground! These kids don't need a courtyard with seats or benches, they just need an empty field of grass. Filled with ant mounds, mud, and dragon flies.

Next gripe: plumber's ass on fat chicks! First off, there are so many hot chicks at this campus. In most places, hot chicks come around like rare white buffalo. But around here they roam freely. They are a species in abundance at FAU. So when I see a fat nasty chick with a huge belly sit down and expose her mile long hairy ass crack I want to lose my lunch. I'm actually sitting about ten feet from an offender right now and I'm having trouble typing.

Can't we make some kind of decency rule against it. If a hot cheerleader walks around with a low-cut halter top and shows a quarter inch of aereola the campus police would arrest her for indecent exposure. Well, fat hairy crack is pretty damn indecent! Its cruel and unusual! Our priorities are all out of whack. Ooh, a hot co-ed just sat at my table. Time to get to work. I love this campus.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I just finished watching Fearless. Thanks to my laptop, I can write this review right away.

Jet Li's getting old. I don't know if the gray hair was part of the make-up or real. He can still kick ass though. Not that I would really know though.

I'm one of those people that thinks all martial arts fight scenes pretty much look the same. Crouching Tiger seemed fresh and exciting but then I found out that half the tricks were done with the help of special effects. So I don't know what's real or not, or what takes skill or just good camera tricks. But from what I saw, it looked fine.

The movie doesn't get to complicated. But it packed a punch with meaning. It's full of lessons on timeless virtues like friendship, respect, honor, and tradition--among a bunch of others.

Its one of those movies that make you want to be a better person after you watch it. But the feeling lasts a couple of hours and then some idiot cuts you off on the freeway and you go right back to your society-hating self. I must resist the temptation. A-

We can't work things out in Iraq. The Palestinians can't work things out with the Israelis. But at least one feud has finally ended; Paris and Nicole made up! Oh yea, the stars of my formerly favorite reality show will return for another season of the Simple Life.

Watch the video of them going to dinner together on TMZ.com. video I'm happy for them...well not so much for them, more for me and my tv fix.

And do this, watch the video and tell me if you could live with that many cameras in your face. I'm not sure if that would be a good or bad thing. Sure its cool that people are so interested in everything you do that they would sit outside a restaurant, waiting for you to finish dinner so they can get one glimpse of you. But the girls couldn't even move! And how do they not go blind. They seemed to handle it pretty well. Maybe you just get used to it.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

I hate serving. Seriously, the work sucks. People giving you crap; managers giving you crap; other servers giving you crap. Basically, a lot of crap. There are many jobs that deal with crap from a lot of people, but I hope they get compensated for their effort--cause I sure as hell don't. So when I find out there is a video game that people can wait on tables for fun, I stop dead in my tracks to see what they're smoking.

Diner Dash 2 is the sequel to the wildly popular game where players get to join Flo and beat out the competition while bringing the best service to their customers. Aghhh! I want to gag right now. I played the game for about 30 seconds and got nauseus.

I guess there are other professions that feel the same way--soldiers playing war games; cops playing Garnd Theft Auto; football players playing Madden. Well... not so much Madden. Those guys love seeing themselves on screen. Maybe that's the key.

Players of Diner Dash should be able to play with their favorite servers. They can pick Pierre, hailing from P.F. Chang's in Palm Beach Gardens. He has great drink delivery, and a smooth tray carry. I'd play that game.

And coming this Christmas: join Jermaine and Carlos as they embark on their adventures of roto rooting! Oh yea kids! You'll fight through puddles of crap and backed up toilets. Be the best shit shoveler in your neighborhood!

Monday, October 02, 2006

I enjoy my Sunday afternoons--probably the most peaceful time slot in my week. So yesterday, after a long morning at church I retreated to my haven of repose to enjoy some football on the plasma television in all of its 400 channels and 42 inches of glory.

I first turn to Fox HD and the Vikings are playing the Buffalo Bills. The picture looks great, but I don't really care much about either of those teams. I wanna see my Dolphins get another win after a tumultous game in the week past. So I turn to CBS HD and something's not right. I can barely make out the players. It just looks like blue and orange smudge all over the screen!

What the f is going on at CBS that they can't get a damn HD camera down to the game so I can watch the Fins struggle with high definition! It didn't even look like the regular tv projection! It looked like the home video from high-school games. Apparently they asked one of players' mom's to videotape the game for them on her Sony Handycam.

I got paid (partially) for an HD tv and pay (sort of) for HD service, and I'm going to watch some damn HD football. So I found myself watching the uninteresting Vikings game as opposed to squinting and straining to watch the Fins.