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How to reconnect with who you are?

Working over the years with my clients and my own self discovery work I find that many ask me this profound question and one I think that many of you will be asking yourselves- “How do I reconnect with who I am?”

I know over the years I lost my sense of being when I became a mother because you tend to pour everything into your children. Also playing the role of mother, business woman, wife, sister and daughter has left me feeling disconnected with MYSELF

This is where I meet a lot of my clients who are asking the same question. They are feeling disconnected with their life, feeling unhappy and know deep down there is something more.

I have a secret I want to share with you!

One way we get lost that the core of these problems lie with the bond with your mother. It feels like my clients cannot become who they want to be because of expectations that has been passed down generation to generation. Like the “rules” of society that we are all trying to fit into. However, this covers us in a visibility cloak (just like Harry Potter) where you can’t see the real you and neither can others. When we take this cloak off we are left with the question “who am I”.

It took a tragedy in my family to really “wake me up” to the possibility that I was not being the person that I came here to be. I found out that all my family had the same digestive problems, the same emotional problems and the list goes on. I thought it must be hereditary and something which I couldn’t do anything about. I will always remember one of my clients say to me that her mother had depression and her grandmother so she was waiting for the moment she became depressed. That comment made me very sad because we CAN do something about, it is not hereditary, it is a learnt behaviour. The good news is that if it is learnt, we can un-learn it. Magic!!

Are you the youngest in your family?

The other thing I have learnt over the years is that it is always the youngest child that will want to explore this mother-daughter bond because it gets to a point of extricating pain, it can no longer be passed down to the next generation.

As some of you will know, if you have worked with me, I don’t like nonsense, I tell you how it is and I want to get straight to the core because I know that is where I will impact people’s lives. I can do the other stuff, the softly, softly approach but I am not being of service to you when I know a quicker way. When I started on my self discovery path 15 years ago I started with the layers, and I’m sure you know that every therapist or coach says you have to peel away at the layers and this takes years and years. If like me you want instant results and profound changes you need to start at the very core.

This is where I start with my mother and daughter bond – pulling that invisibility cloak away to reveal the person inside, I’m not trying to change you, I simply want to reveal the truth.

To help you move forwards today to reconnecting with who you are below are four things that are really important:-

understand your values;

create rules that fit in with your values and beliefs;

trust your feelings – you do know best;

explore what you love to do

These will instantly reconnect you with the truth of who you are.

If you want to explore the mother-daughter bond, for the first time, I am doing a one day workshop to help you to understand why this is important.