Drink: Shroom Tea @ Mellow Mushroom

Of all the alcoholic drinks we’ve talked about in this magazine, Shroom Tea has got to be the most knock-down, drag out inebriant by a landslide.

Mellow Mushroom’s mysterious purple concoction is one of the most dangerously strong drinks available in this city. It’s so powerful, they’ve stopped serving it in pitchers (assumedly) over concerns for the wellbeing of their patrons. I’ve personally seen this drink induce more blackouts and bad decisions than whiskey, tequila, gin, rum, vodka, slap bets and family reunions combined.

The exact ingredients of the drink are a mystery, but online leaks have alleged that it’s made of rum, vodka, gin, triple sec, raspberry liqueur, Sprite and a splash of grenadine for color. It’s got a sweet, tea-like flavor, but don’t serve it to anyone not ready for a wild night. This drink goes down harsher than formaldehyde and hits as hard as Everclear. As you get drunker, it gets easier to drink, creating a domino effect that can only end with you falling over yourself into the bushes.

A couple of these have got enough potency to get Andre the Giant to sing Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” at a Korean karaoke bar.

It’s almost a shock, really. A reliable pizza joint with an obviously hallucinogenic-themed decor (including an actual, 5-foot tall stoned, characterized mushroom) that prides itself on its mellow-ness by day is turning around at night and selling a home made booze that puts your roommate’s signature Jungle Juice to complete and utter shame. It’s what Kerouac would have drunk had it been invented yet. It takes the heart of a lion and the body of a sumo wrestler to get through a couple of these unscathed. It’s an amazing, untouchable drink that everyone in Baton Rouge (over 21 of course) should try.

Get your Uber app ready; you won’t be doing any driving after the Shroom Tea.

Photo by Sean Richardson.

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