They're slick, slimy, and extremely dangerous.

Tag Archives: banana peels

On a lovely March day, our local peel aficionado, Jane put on her new shoes and stepped out of her pied-a-terre into the big city. She was on her way to visit friends for a picnic lunch of moules and escargot. Lost in thought, she glanced down at her lovely new shoes, and recoiled at this unappetizing mess, attempting to camouflage itself among the yellow safety lines in the crosswalk. Sacrilege! She notified watchoutbananapeel, and went on to the picnic.

Later that spring, a similar cluster of slimy street serpents lay in wait next to a safety cone. The nerve!

Traveling is a disorienting experience. One minute you’re in one spot, and suddenly you’re someplace else. It’s even worse in the dark, when you can’t even see where you’re going. That’s why I always walk backwards at night, so no one can sneak up behind me. Last weekend, a sharp-eyed Californian named D. spotted this lurker in the dark, alarmingly close to the tracks.

Like this:

Many people ask me for urban safety tips. I’m flattered by the attention and often feel obligated to provide an answer, though I don’t feel fully qualified to speak authoritatively on the subject. As a result, I often invent answers based on what I think the person wants to hear.

Recently a young man inquired about the best way to know if someone is watching him. I imparted my most useful piece of wisdom – to ALWAYS check the bushes. Shortly afterward, he sent me the following image, with a note of thanks for saving his life. Apparently this peel had been watching him for weeks, waiting outside his work. And thanks to me, he was able to have it removed. He offered to send me a box of Bosc pears in appreciation. I told him that it was the least I could do, and I don’t like pears, but a small donation would be appreciated.

It was two days after Valentine’s Day when I went for a late night walk under the maze of freeways near my home. I always wear a costume, for safety purposes (I’ve learned that during late night walks, it’s best to be the scariest looking person in the vicinity). It usually sends people running the opposite direction, but I met my match under the viaduct- this horrid thing, shamelessly staring me down.

Like this:

Beware of individuals with outsized egos. You may run into them at bars and pubs, commanding attention. They may appear impressive at first, but like a pustule or boil, they are simply inflated, and pop with the merest touch. I spotted the detritus of a popped ego on a recent evening in Atwater Village. This one didn’t even last past happy hour.