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Lots of people have joked for years about lazy Americans sitting
on the couch, eating Bonbons and watching Jerry Springer. It’s a
great visual. We can all imagine that poor-old-somebody lying
around, doing a whole bunch of nothing, going absolutely nowhere.
And we’ve all taken solace in that fact that “that guy isn’t me”.

Things
have changed. And although Jerry Springer is no longer on the
air, more and more people are finding themselves stuck on the
couch, avoiding getting a job. It’s not that folks are lazy
(though honestly, some are). It’s not that they don’t want to
work (though honestly, some don’t). It’s that people are
literally paralyzed by the thought of having to find work in
these crazy times. To job seekers everywhere whose boots are
stuck in the mud, here are three ways to bust through roadblocks
and get back to work.

Roadblock #1: I’m Stuck

There’s a hilarious video called Stuck on an Escalator making
its way around YouTube.
A guy is riding an escalator when it suddenly stops working.
Panicked, he turns to the woman a few steps below him. Neither of
them know what to do. For what seems to be hours, they sit and
wait. They are, in their own minds, completely stuck.

For those of us watching this amusing vignette, we can’t imagine
why our hero doesn’t just walk up, or down, and free himself from
this captivity. Unfortunately, like many job seekers, he doesn’t
see any options, and has locked himself in a kind of mental jail.
To get unstuck in your job search, you have to break out of your
mental jail.

There are many reasons job seekers get stuck: they’ve been doing
one kind of job forever, and can’t imagine doing anything else;
they haven’t had to look for a job for a long time, and don’t
know where to start; they have absolutely no idea what they can,
or even WANT to do, so they do nothing.

Here are 4 simple things you can do today to get unstuck.
I call it theR.E.D.O. Rule.
Every day for the next week, I want you to commit to spending 30
minutes on each of the following:

Research: 30 minutes on the Internet
researching and learning about how to find and get the job
you’ve always wanted. Use Monster.com or CareerBuilder.com as a
starting point. Both offer some great tools and technique to
get your engine going.

Using your imagination to design your future reminds you that
you have choices. Choices allow you to feel less cornered,
leaving room to get unstuck.

Reaching out to others – for help, communication, and
advice—gets the bonding chemical oxytocin flowing. These
connections can make you feel more supported and less isolated on
your journey.

Getting unstuck is a crucial component to making a healthy leap
back into the job market. If your feet feel like they’re covered
in dried, cracked mud, it’s time to find your bootstraps and
break free. Try R.E.D.O. and give your psyche and your brain some
much-needed help.

Roadblock #2: I’m Embarrassed

I once worked with a man who hadn’t found his “perfect” job a
full twelve months after coming out of a prestigious mid-career
graduate school program. One day, during a session, he told me he
was no longer going out socially, as he felt too self-conscious
telling people what he’s been up to.

Many long-term job seekers report that they’re embarrassed about
being out of work for so long. They avoid going out because they
don’t know how to fill in the big gap in their résumé, and they
feel ashamed that they have gotten themselves (and potentially
their family) into this situation. And, embarrassed job seekers
are also particularly sensitive to the “Why have you been out of
work so long?” question that inevitably comes as part of the job
interview process.

Here’s a little tough love. Your embarrassment is in your head.
In general, no one else is judging you. And, if they are, the
best retort is a well-prepared answer. A prepared story showcases
all of the various things you’ve been doing to stay busy during
your unemployment. Even if these activities don’t feel like
accomplishments to you, you actually have been doing
something that is worth talking about. Who knows? It might be all
that’s needed to ignite a conversation that could lead someplace
interesting.

Why do you need to get over being embarrassed and get out there
again? Because the way people get hired in today’s economy is
through the people you meet, befriend and network with. They are
the best tool in your arsenal for getting back to business. If
you avoid going out, attending networking events, even your
child’s soccer game, all because you’re embarrassed, you’re
missing out on all of the opportunities that each conversation
might bring.

Here’s a simple technique for preparing your story and
helping you through your embarrassment. I call itThe Story of You.

Think about all of things that you’ve been doing while you’ve
been looking for work. Have you been volunteering at a soup
kitchen? Taking a course to stay current? Running a home-based
business? Being a stay-at-home parent? Substitute teaching?
Working part-time? Networking and having informational
interviews? Coaching Little League? Connecting with your local
Chamber of Commerce? Unless you’re truly stuck in your life (see
#1 above), chances are that you’ve been pretty busy in your
unemployment. Grab a piece of paper and a pen and write all of it
down.

Once you have a list of 3-5 things, write yourself a short
paragraph describing all of these things. Put in colorful tidbits
to make yourself sound interesting and engaged. And even
if you don’t feel it, fake it. You’re not going to stop
feeling embarrassed until you get used to tooting your own horn a
little bit. A sample story might come out as something like this:

“It’s been a busy time. My seven year-old daughter plays soccer,
and I’m one of her coaches. Last month I took a night class in
marketing so I could improve my skills. And now I work part-time
at a local diner while I continue to pursue finding work at an ad
agency or in the marketing department of a company.”

This is The Story of You, and you need
to create it and embrace it, not be embarrassed by it. No, not
all of us have been perfectly occupied during our unemployment,
and we’ve probably wasted more time than we’d like to admit. The
best way to get your confidence back is by getting back in the
game.

Roadblock #3: It’s Hopeless

Yes, it is true. There are about 14 million Americans reporting
that they don’t have work. The actual number might be even
higher. But it is also true that there are 3.2 million available
jobs right now, and that means that 23% of job seekers could have
jobs if they wanted them. What that means is that you are just as
likely to be a fit for one of those 3.2 million jobs as the
next Joe, and you need to find a way to make yourself part of
that 23%.

Hopelessness, quite frankly, isn’t going to get you hired. And
different from being stuck, it carries a weightier burden.
Hopelessness creates an emotional state so deep in despair that
it can often override our survival instincts. In these cases,
depression, anxiety and even thoughts of suicide become real
concerns.

In May of 2011, I was brought in by The Boston Globe to do a
Career Makeover segment for a man who had been out of work
for almost two years. Until the recent economic downturn, he had
remained gainfully employed as he followed his wife, an academic,
as she moved around the country in pursuit of her academic goals.
Now, settled in Boston, having applied for dozens of teaching
jobs and having had eight unsuccessful job interviews, he was not
only discouraged, but quite hopeless about his prospects.

It was a tough case. Men in particular, find satisfaction
and gain self-esteem by being able to provide for their loved
ones. Faced with his inability to make ends meet, and having to
depend on his wife’s academic wages, my client was in a tough
spot.

Have you ever known someone who completed a Marathon? Mastered an
instrument? Lost an enormous amount of weight? What all of these
achievers have in common, is that at some point in the lives they
made a decision. They made a decision that they were
going to cross the finish line no matter what it took. They were
going to practice violin, even when others were out having fun.
They were going to drop those pounds even if it meant giving up
sweets forever. These people made a commitment to not only
sacrificing for their goals, but learning the
survival skills necessary to achieve
them.

You’re no different than a Marathon runner, a musician, or a
dieter, except, for perhaps, in one way. You may have forgotten
how to survive. Hopelessness is a being state where you
have given up. It is the feeling of despair that the lost hiker
gets when she might not be rescued. Or the despondency of a
cancer patient who knows his time has run out.
Hopelessness is not a survival state.

Here’s a not-so-simple trick that you must do today to
start crawling out of your hopelessness. You need to embrace
something that I call Survival is the New
Normal.

Determination is a survival state. Willingness to adapt
and change is a survival state. Our instinct for “fight
or flight” comes from the most ancient part of our brain that
quickly assesses a situation and in an instant, compels us to
fight or run for dear life. In today’s turbulent economy, erratic
geo-politics and unsure jobs market, learning to survive
IS the new normal.

In the world of tough love advice, this is the new harsh reality.

If you grew up during the Baby Boom where, post-WWII jobs were on
a steady path of growth, you probably don’t know what adaptive
employment and job survival mean. If you entered the job force
during the Internet and real estate booms, where jobs were
flowing like sweet milk and honey, you probably don’t know what
adaptive employment and job survival skills mean. And if you grew
up getting a trophy, even when you lost the tournament, I am sure
you don’t even have the foggiest idea of what I am talking about.

Careers don’t just happen. They are active, living, breathing
things that survive because they can adapt with the times and
grow with you. This is not Pollyanna-feel-good-daytime-TV-advice.
This is a biological imperative. In order to thrive in
the 21st century, you need to learn how to survive.
Because without your survival gene turned on and activated, you
are not going to stand out from the crowd, you are not going to
get selected for an interview, and you are not going to be part
of the 23% of job seekers who land one of those 3.2 million jobs.

Having an adaptable mindset and figuring out how to survive in
these tough times is what will be your saving grace. We, as
individuals, and collectively as a country, need to understand
the need to dig deeper, work harder and survive, just like my
grandpa did when he got off the boat just a few months before
Black Tuesday and the start of the Great Depression in 1929. He
didn’t have a choice. He HAD to learn how to survive, because
when you were an immigrant in 1929, there was no other option.

Survival is the antidote for hopelessness. It is what is needed
to find your bootstraps and pull yourself back from the brink.
And it’s what you need to learn if you want to get back in the
game, and get a job.