At first glance, it looks like a story straight out of The Onion. A report that the nation’s top intelligence official is determined to plug national-security leaks must be a spoof, no? After all, everybody in Washington knows the White House is in desperate need of a plumber.

But protecting all the president’s men requires an elaborate pretense and great gobs of hypocrisy. And so James Clapper, drafted to be the Inspector Clouseau of this farce, insists he is serious about stopping the gusher of classified secrets. Given the stakes, his willful blindness marks a new low in Washington cynicism, one more fitting of a banana republic than the United States of America.

Then again, it’s increasingly par for the course. In political peril because of its arrogance and incompetence, the Obama administration has lost its moral bearings in a bid to stay in power.

Laws are ignored, and new rules created simply for the convenience of the campaign. The president’s mad dash for cash has turned Air Force One into a shabby shuttle, its grand symbolism reduced to getaway-car status.

“Watch what we do, not what we say,” John Mitchell, Richard Nixon’s attorney general and campaign manager, famously said. That was before Mitchell was convicted in the Watergate scandal.

One suspects Mitchell would feel comfortable in the reckless Obama White House and Eric Holder’s politicized Department of Justice. Whatever the era, a commitment to winning above all else shreds the bonds of duty and the oath of office. After that, it’s only a matter of time until the crash.

This week offers an especially clear view on the disaster of the last 42 months and the rough road ahead. The chaos in the Mideast, the broken jobs machine at home and America’s bitter polarization are the fruits of a failed presidency.

“Hope & Change” has become a punch line, and even Jimmy Carter, the poster boy for fecklessness, is piling on by attacking Obama for failing to protect human rights.

And for all the drama about what the Supreme Court will do on ObamaCare, the most important verdict already has been rendered. Every poll taken shows a big majority of voters wanting some or all of the monstrosity repealed.

In a nutshell, the health-care takeover reveals the essence of the Obama presidency. Sold on the false premise that the entire health system was “broken,” larded with incomprehensible regulations, higher taxes and hidden costs, the bill lurched through Congress on a party-line vote only because the skids were greased with legal bribes.

It spawned its own Hall of Shame incidents, including the Louisiana Purchase, the Cornhusker Kickback and then-Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s mad-hatter declaration that “we have to pass the bill so you can find out what’s in it.”

Voters certainly knew enough about it to punish Dems in the 2010 midterms, with Obama conceding a “shellacking.”

Yet, if he felt chastened, the feeling quickly passed. Predictions that he would turn to the center proved delusional as he doubled down on a far-left approach to spending, taxes and the size of government. To this day, with America swamped in debt, the military is the only department he wants to cut.

Barack Obama doesn’t listen to anyone who disagrees with him. He sees his election as a blank check that carries near-absolute power and freedom from all restraint. Congress, the courts, voters, whole industries — if they are not with him, they are obstacles that must be crushed or circumvented.

Hubris, like dishonesty, demands an ever greater effort to distort reality. Hence the frenetic campaign to win votes by handing out government goodies. Instead of addressing the economy or any big issue of concern to most Americans, Obama runs as panderer-in-chief to a favored few.

Immigrants, gay rights, government unions, college students, blacks — his campaign is a micro-targeting exercise that slices and dices the country. He offers no solutions for America, only abuses of authority in exchange for four more years. Is there anything he won’t say or do to win?

“If something can’t go on forever, it won’t,” an economist once said. So it is with a president who thinks he is above the law. America has its limits.

How to pay for a better NY

News flash: Gotham remains part of the United States, which means spending money in political campaigns is protected free speech here, too.

And that means that the Supreme Court’s decision upholding its Citizens United case reaffirms that New Yorkers, corporations and unions are free to spend as much as they want on the next mayor’s race.

Because of the city’s restrictive campaign-finance law, and because Mayor Bloomberg was spending his own millions in the last three elections, city races lagged behind free-wheeling spending patterns elsewhere. But Gov. Cuomo broke new ground with a super-PAC that supports his agenda, and next year’s race for City Hall could get a similar jolt. Wealthy New Yorkers already are talking about funding a candidate to run against the Democratic machine, and they now have a clear right to do it.

Direct contributions to candidates are limited in 2013 to $4,950 per person, but there are no limits on indirect expenditures, as long as they are not coordinated with a candidate. After the initial Citizens United ruling, the Campaign Finance Board set up what it calls “robust” reporting requirements for such spending.

For example, an independent entity spending more than $1,000 must disclose it and itemize individual expenses over $100. After spending $5,000, independents must disclose their contributors, retroactively and going forward.

Those are ridiculously low triggers, and obviously are designed to impose burdens beyond simple disclosure.

Still, the new playing field offers hope that an independent candidate will have enough money to be a viable alternative. For now, the Dem wannabes are competing to see who can promise the most to municipal unions, a pattern that would make basic services prohibitive.

New York can’t afford that. So, big spenders, get out your checkbooks. It’s time to get serious about 2013.

Yawn, it’s Backwatergate

The campaign office of Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer was broken into, and aides suggest that opponents of Stringer, who is running for mayor, might be involved.

Maybe, but only if the perps are really dumb. Truth be told, Stringer’s not enough of a threat to warrant dirty tricks.

Spend trend

The articles about the City Council and Mayor Bloomberg agreeing on a new budget all noted there are no broad-based tax hikes. True, but neither are there any major tax cuts, and nobody mentioned that.

Instead, spending will go up by nearly $3 billion, to $68.5 billion. In Bloomberg’s first year, 2002, the city made do with a mere $41.1 billion.