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If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through
18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food willswim by, You might live in Manitoba .
If you're proud that your province makes the
national news 96 nights
each year because Winnipeg is the coldest spot in the nation,You might live in Manitoba .
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy",You m ight live in Manitoba .
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, You might live in Manitoba .
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, You might live in Manitoba.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around themiddle ofhis forehead, You might live in Manitoba.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,You might live in Manitoba .
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,You might live in Manitoba .
If you know how to say....Wasagaming, Neepawa, Lac du Bonnet You might live in Manitoba .
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, You might live in Manitoba.
If vacation means going "up north" for the weekend, You might live in Manitoba .
You measure distance in hours, You might live in Manitoba .
You know several people, who have hit deer more than once,You might live in Manitoba .
You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,You might live in Manitoba .
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard without flinching,You might live in Manitoba .
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might live in Manitoba .
You install security lights on your house and garage andleave bothunlocked, You might live in Manitoba .
You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and Venison, You might live in Manitoba.
You carry jumper cables in your car,and your girlfriend knowshow to use them, You might live in Manitoba .
There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at any given time,
You might live in Manitoba .
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit, You might live in Manitoba .
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, You might live in Manitoba.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter,and of course, road construction, You might live in Manitoba .

Your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next
to your blue spruce, You might live in Manitoba .
If "Down South" to you means Grand Forks, You might live in Manitoba .
You know "a brat" is something
you eat,You might live in Manitoba .
You find -10 degrees "a little chilly",You might
live in Manitoba .
You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Manitoba friends,You DO live in Manitoba

THE RULES OF RURAL Manitoba ARE AS FOLLOWSListen up City Slickers!1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.2. Turn your cap straight, your head isn't crooked.3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Hwy 1 goes east and west, Hwy 5 goes north and south. Pick one.5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $365,000 combines and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.6. So every person in rural Manitobawaves. It's called 'being friendly'. Try to understand the concept.7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.8. Yeah, we eat meat and potatoes. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer hunting season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.11. There's little for 'vegetarians' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick offthe 2 pounds of ham & turkey.12. When we set a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.15. ManitobaHockey League and Minor Hockey is as important here as the CalgaryFlames and the EdmontonOilers and more fun to watch.16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.17. 2 inches of snow & ice isn't a blizzard - it's a vacation. The pickups with snow blades and tractors with snow blowers will have you out the next day.

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