Author
Topic: feel ungrateful (Read 287 times)

I constantly feel guilty for being depressed. why am I sad? when I turn on the news or see w/e else is going on in the world, I know I am blessed. I have a wonderful family who loves, supports and cares for me. But still, I don't know why I hold on to so much anger, frustration and sadness inside of me. In the past couple of years, I feel betrayed by friends, college faculty and others when I needed help or guidance. I have always been the one to give, but when I need the right kind of help and networks, people I've gone lengths to help out never return the favor. I've always been very hard on myself academically to make up for lacking socially and now that I have graduated, I feel defeated. I've just had constant years of rejection from getting employed during school, professors, etc. and because of that, I'm unemployed and don't know what I'm doing with myself or where my life is going. I don't have friends my age to talk or guide me through. The only people I have are my parents and family but they don't really understand because it's a different situation for me now than it was for them; the struggles are different. I wish I had more people my age to support me and help guide me to make right decisions. I'm graduated and have no idea what I'm doing. The more I think about it, the more it feels like a petty worry. But seeing others graduate and get jobs is making me feel very confused about life. I feel like now that college is over I have no structure and more room for increased anxiety and depression.

Depression is complicated. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that, but... yeah. I think we have this need to have a happy public face pushed on us that can make us feel guilty if we're ever not genuinely smiling, despite the fact that negative emotions are an inseparable part of the human experience regardless of our quality of life or our gratitude.