Foodism Roasted and Set to a Beat

Finally, the food world has gotten the music video it desperately deserves, one that may very well be the antidote to our age’s myriad tales of obsessive, technology-enabled foodism gone awry. Called “Eat It Don’t Tweet It,” it’s the work of the Key of Awesome, and will be immediately and cringingly familiar to anyone even loosely acquainted with words like heirloom and demi-glace.

The music takes its cues from the Pet Shop Boys, and the lyrics from menus and behavior recognizable to anyone who’s eaten out in the past five years. “I’m just a guy with a camera/ In your feed/ With me food is a canvas-ah,” sings the protagonist, snapping away as a lobster and a cupcake pout and pose on his plate. He’s “like the culinary paparazzi,” so enamored by “lobster bisque, buttered lightly,” that “I see you in a bowl and I need you inside me.” Food TV, gluten intolerance, and restaurant servers don’t escape unscathed, though it’s the protagonist who receives the biggest burn, via lines like, “It’s unthinkable to dine out and not record it/ Want the world to know I can fucking afford it.” Really, this should probably be used as a PSA.