Seatbelt Cutter and Window Smasher for Paranoid Drivers

If you have watched too many episodes of Criminal Minds, you probably already have a panic room in your home, ready for when golf-club and baseball-bat wielding psychopaths invade your house. But what of the other place where you spend so much of your time? What if you car plunges down a steep ravine into the rushing waters below, or you flip your ride on its roof and hang, dangling helplessly from the seatbelt while the gasoline drips ever closer to the broken mirror focusing burning sunlight onto the hot asphalt? What then?

You will need the ExiTool, billed as a “seat belt cutter, window breaker, LED flashlight tool”. The ExiTool clips onto your seatbelt and there it stays, holding its steel blade, tungsten window-smashing nubbin and button-cell powered flashlight just where you’ll need it in case of hugely unlikely emergency. Not convinced? This awful video certainly won’t help, but it will make you laugh. It appears almost as a parody, as if a real informercial had been “sweded“: