Declan Q. ¦ Writer ¦ Breaking News

‘I feel so sorry for these students. Eyes bloodshot, clearly running on no sleep, I’ve over heard some of them saying they feel “absolutely scattered.” Obviously they have spent all weekend working on the major essay due tomorrow.’ says the tutor, blissfully unaware of her student’s rowdy weekend.

The Tuesday morning following Wollongong’s Yours and Owls festival, sees a rag-tag, lethargic collection of students drag one foot after another into their 9:30 tutorial. But the formation of the United Nations does little to interest the students still labouring under a savage three-day hangover.

The enthusiasm of the tutor was in direct conflict with the physical and psychological state of the students. Most students scroll through Facebook on their Macbooks, and some sit with their forehead planted on the desk, processing the shame.

‘”I gave them all perfect CP for this week. If there utter exhaustion is anything to go by, it seems to be one of the hardest working cohorts I’ve ever had.’ The tutor continued.