Personally I would butt out, she probably already knows anyway. Unless she asks for some last minute help that is, or if it is a really important piece of work with time to re-do. Otherwise maybe offer some instruction next time.

If ds makes no effort and produces crap I tell him that I hope he gets detention for it. If he has tried his absolute best then I praise him to the hilt. If it is something that can be improved I might make some subtle suggestions.

I find it very hard not to but have decided on a non interventionist policy frim now on as DS1 gets very upset about any criticism constructive or not. He really goes ballistic and gets very angry and upset (and then i do too). i plan to tell his teachers at parents night. I will revisit the problem when he has grown up a bit.

So glad to hear I'm not the only one who has a DS who goes into meltdown over homework - apart from arguing about when it should be done I am trying hard not to interfere other than when the subsequent meltdown is- it's too hard i can't do it - when it's more a case of application rather than difficulty - therein follows more - I went to boarding school, sat in a classroom for an hour or more in silence with no opportunity to ask anyone for help - am now trying to establish a similar home set up - it's getting to be the only way I'm going to get through the next 7 years.

I think that's where I have trouble please. I think there is too much parental involvement in HW in this house if I am honest.

A lot of Year 9 parents have no idea whether their DC have homework or whether they have done it and I thought that's what it would be like. DS1 would tootle off to his bedroom for an hour or two and get it done.

But no, it's all over the dining table while he procrastinates, has a break (after doing nothing) and so it goes on. The whinging takes longer than the homework.

I wouldn't say anything if she'd tried,but I would if she wasn't putting in the effort.TBH,now I would also comment if I thought DS had tried but missed the point,or tried but had given up too soon! (I wouldn't say "this is crap" though - I'd be a bit subtle!)

That is only for DC2 though,as DC1 interprets anything less than full on praise as "this is crap,and you are hopeless" which is counterproductive.

Would depend on the subject and how much effort had gone into it. My DD is a master of only writing one paragraph for English, announcing that they were told to only write half a page, and then moaning when she doesn't get a good grade.

But if she had to draw a hippo for art homework and it looked like an elephant, I would let that pass.