I used to have a huge case of imposter syndrome. I almost shut down my business over it, a few times. I say used to, because through a mix of therapy and a lot of effort to self awareness, I finally broke through it. It took a long time though.

What had to be realized was what I really wanted. Did I want to keep holding myself back because it felt comfortable? Feeling like I was undeserving, that everyone was better than I was, that people only said nice to things to me because they were my friends. Worse yet, was the incredible fear of having a personality that others thought was egotistical. It was putting my self validation in everyone else around me, but me. In the world of social media, that's easy to do.

Having a business actually helped that shift in my head. I realized that I'm here to help other people, and I've spent the last 20+ years working my butt off every day. This self doubt stuff was just childish and tearing me down, in a world that does plenty of that on it's own. Trying to keep a business afloat in a world that is really evolving to expire me in a few years, I needed a cheerleader, and it had to come from within me. I couldn't rely on anyone else to make me feel good, because people can sometimes let you down. How I feel about myself can't come from the outside, and that's really, really hard to do for some of us.

I still get doubts, I still have my insecurities, but I also know that I have my back, when the rest of the world has to look after their own. The crippling fear and isolation isn't what it once was, and I know I can get through it.

I'm on borrowed time, and life has taught me first hand how quickly things can change. When the lights go out, I want to make sure that I didn't waste too much time making me feel bad because it felt like the right thing to do. I owe myself honesty, not lies of grandeur or despicable failure.