. . .because Morris, Minnesota, is a pleasant, quiet, safe yet intellectually stimulating place on the west central Minnesota prairie, home of the U of M-Morris and a whole lot of interesting people. - morris mn

"You'll never get ahead if you don't take care of what you have." - Doris Waddell, RIP

A historic building on our U of M-Morris campus - morris mn

The multi-ethnic building was the original home of the music department at UMM. (B.W. photo)

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Let's revive "Texas Across the River"

Mention the movie "Texas Across the River" and you might not get an
immediate reaction. The name might not register. But if you're speaking
with a boomer like me, you might get a glint of recognition by
reminding of some movie details.

This is a movie that to my knowledge hasn't turned up on cable TV
in the modern era. Which is surprising, given this movie was a staple of
the prime time fare of broadcast TV once. As schoolkids we'd laugh the
next day after a showing, by reminding each other of certain scenes.

I'm a mid-boomer. The movie of which I speak was made in 1966. Get
some of the Monkees' hits playing in your head. On a sad note, remember
that the Viet Nam War was escalating.

How ironic we could have such fun movies turned out, including
those featuring Don Knotts, when being a kid in the U.S. had such a
cloud hanging over it (the draft).

Our society was struggling in other ways. Women's liberation hadn't
arrived yet. Racial sensitivity was far from having been attained.

Guys my age can remember female elementary teachers who were
quite brilliant. Those same women today could more readily find better
careers. We were fortunate.

Unenlightened as our society could be, we still knew how to laugh.
"Texas Across the River" is an escapist gem that appears to have slid
into the dustbin. And it's pretty obvious why. Although I find the movie
innocent, there are qualities that one might judge politically
incorrect. Well, they are politically incorrect but I sense no sinister
intent by the creators.

How do I know this? I just do. It's just intuition.

It's the same intuition that allowed me to laugh at Johnny Carson's
"Aunt Blabby" character. It just seemed benign to be. I loved the way
"dear sweet lovable. . .old Aunt Blabby" would ogle Ed McMahon. She
wielded her cane in an absent-minded way. But I didn't see the character
in a disturbing or disrespectful way.

It's intuition, the same intuition that makes me remember most fondly that cinema release "Texas Across the River."

If it still doesn't register with you, I'll toss out two of the
prime stars: Dean Martin and Joey Bishop. "Dean-o!" A "rat pack" man.
Those were still the "Mad Men" days, weren't they?

"Texas Across the River" has references to Native Americans that
would cause some to bristle today. I would argue this movie was a total
parody that seized on elements of the traditional western with no holds
barred.

The Indians are incredibly funny. They are Comanches, a tribe
referenced in a way that automatically induces fear. "We're crossing
Comanche territory." But the Comanches in this movie aren't
blood-curdling. They only have the outward appearance of being menacing
(and that's barely). Really it seems they're just a bunch of white guys
dressed up as Indians, which in my mind contributes to the humor. It's
like kids dressing up for Halloween. They copy what they see on the
movie screen.

Stereotypes. So what? It's just plain funny.

The Indians in the movie seem lovable. They only go through the
motions of "fighting." (We hear calliope music when they're about to
behave in an absurd way.)

The chief, named "Iron Shirt" (played by Michael Ansara), is trying
to groom his son for future leadership. The son is hopeless, showing
incompetence at every juncture. Every time this is revealed, the camera
pans over to a couple of average-Joe Indians who turn to each other and
roll their eyes. This is a running gag.

Us kids loved the scene where the chief lets out a shriek as
instructions to his reluctant warriors, only the shriek is actually a
horse whinny (a real horse whinny, dubbed in).

An Indian shoots a flaming arrow on top of the schoolhouse causing
school to be let out and the kids to show reverie. You think us kids
didn't find that funny?

I asked my boss at the Morris newspaper once, Jim Morrison, if he
remembered this movie. I tried him with just the name. He paused, smiled
and then said "harrar-hare." He remembered vividly!

"Harrar-hare" was the voice signal that cavalry leader Peter Graves
gave constantly to his men, regardless of what he wanted them to do. It
was pure parody on the old western movie where cavalry leaders behaved
in such a fashion. They'd raise an arm and intone "harrar-hare!"

Morrison is a mid-boomer like me. The only way we can re-capture
the fun of that movie, it seems, is to obtain it on tape or DVD. I had a
friend order the VHS tape for me several years ago. We watched it in
his living room. We were able to anticipate so much of the humor,
despite the time having gone by.

I'm sure Hollywood is very nervous about how far "political
correctness" could go in wiping away certain movies from current
awareness. Do you remember what happened to the Charlie Chan movies? The
big mistake was a cable movie channel planning a "Charlie Chan
Marathon." This kindled the issue of ethnic sensitivity. The Chan
franchise may have been practically wiped from the map. Will cable TV
touch it anymore?

Old westerns in general could be endangered, such is the way Native
Americans can be portrayed. Many old comedies showed African Americans
as being easy to scare, as with strange sounds in a house or fear of
ghosts. Their eyes might bug out and they'd take off running.

We need to view a lot of this stuff in context, realizing such fare
could never get released today. Only the most egregious offenders
should probably be censored.

"Texas Across the River" has some lines that could make you wince.
There are also some lines of the misogynistic kind. But this movie is
not an egregious offender. It plays on imagery of the old westerns,
plain and simple. Its purpose is to have fun.

"Blazing Saddles" was a parody too but not the same kind. The Mel
Brooks movie from the mid-1970s did satire in a way as to reject the
original model entirely. It skewered westerns in a mocking way. Boomers
of the mid-1970s went through a cynical phase - we ate it up. "Young
Frankenstein" skewered monster movies.

Us boomers yawned at convention. We're past that now of course.

"Texas Across the River" was a leap into unbridled fun. Maybe
Native Americans should appreciate that the Comanches were shown as mere
fun-loving types. Joey Bishop is a "Kronkua" Indian which is a passive
tribe. Asked to read smoke signals, he says he can't because they're in a
different language.

Rosemary Forsyth plays Phoebe Ann Naylor, the most feminine
sought-after belle of the South. The setting is 1845 Louisiana. People
in trouble might want to escape to Texas, not yet a state. Phoebe Ann is
set to marry Don Andrea Baldazar, played by Alain Delon. On comes a
U.S. Dragoons troop led by the Graves character.

We remember Graves generating laughs in the later "Airplane!"
movie. This was not comic acting. Performers like Graves and Leslie
Nielsen learned to do their standard stiff leading man routine only with
comic lines fed to them. This we see with Graves in "Texas Across the
River."

The wedding is broken up over a dispute over who Phoebe Ann was
going to marry. Baldazar gets falsely accused of murder. He flees to
Texas where he meets up with Martin and Bishop who are gun-runners for a
Texas settlement, "Moccasin Flats."

Martin calls Baldazar "Baldy." Impressed with his gun ability,
Martin (as "Sam Hollis") enlists "Baldy." Phoebe Ann heads in the same
direction, as she is supposed to "lay low" for a while.

We get a love triangle. A young attractive Indian woman comes along
too. She is not the bumbling type of Indian. She may be the hero of the
whole story. She and Phoebe Ann work at the end to straighten everyone
out. The men are vain and error-prone.

"Loneta" the Indian woman has a secret about how to tame longhorn
cattle. The story is quite interesting with lots of twists. Martin shows
his laid-back acting style. It looks easy but of course isn't. Talented
performers can make their work look easy.

Martin's character has a "rascally" manner. A critic described him as "the very image of the anti-hero."

Martin as Hollis is steadfast in his mission while observing the
hilarious antics of others. Sight gags abound. Martin and Bishop have
very effective chemistry. A critic wrote of this movie that "It's not
politically correct, but that's OK as just about everyone is equally
made fun of."

That statement is totally accurate. But it's not enough, I suspect,
to persuade the powers that be that this flick should get on TV again.
It sits there as a museum piece next to the rat pack. It's a shame.

The Kingston Trio sings the theme song.

"Texas Across the River" should move forward into the public consciousness again, perhaps with the command "harrar-hare!"

Summer scenes around Morris, 2012

Click on the image to view a Flickr album of photos taken around the Morris area in the warm weather months of 2012. This group includes photos taken at the 2012 UMM graduation. The image above taken near Perkins Lake was chosen for display in the "Minnesota Explorers" Flickr gallery which is linked to Rick Kupchella's "Bring Me the News" MN website. Also chosen was a field of sunflowers photo I took. I'm delighted to have such platforms available. - B.W.

Past MACA Tiger football photos:

City of Morris perspective:

Pin it on your chest!

Click on the above image to access our "City Data" page.

Morris Theater - morris mn

Click on this image to read thoughts/reflections on our Morris Theater, which is hanging on through changing times (as a co-op). There is a link at the bottom of this post to read part 2 as well. These posts were written in spring of 2010 so there are some dated references. Any Morris native can spin some fond recollections of enjoying cinema fare there with friends.

Enjoy some fall scenery around Morris:

Enjoy some winter scenes around Morris:

Sam Smith statue - morris mn

Click on the image to read about the Sam Smith "running rifleman" statue at Summit Cemetery. This post explores the life of Samuel Smith, early Morris resident. He fought for the Union cause in several major engagements in the Civil War. The statue is patterned after the statue for the First Minnesota Regiment at Gettysburg National Park. This post is the newest of three that I have written about Sam Smith. I consider it the most comprehensive about the man. The statue can be an overlooked landmark of Morris MN. Everyone here ought to be familiar with it. Smith raised a large family north of Morris.

The first building here

In 1871 the first building erected within the village of Morris was the headquarters of the chief engineer of the railroad, C.H.F. Morris. With the railroad came the people.

The WCROC overlook

A nice view to the west is afforded from the WCROC overlook. It's a relatively new feature of the WCROC grounds. Specifically it's part of the WCROC Horticulture Garden. Click on the image to reach the West Central Research and Outreach Center (WCROC) website. Les Lindor was instrumental in making the overlook a reality. He served the West Central Experiment Station (the entity predating the WCROC) as ag engineer.

Stay informed about Stevens County MN:

Morris' music mecca:

Words to live by

This original and popular sign can be seen from the highway between Morris and Cyrus. It's associated with the late Dan Helberg. There used to be a sculpture next to it but perhaps it was removed due to legal restrictions (i.e. as a distraction). The sign has the thumbs-up for which we are grateful. Let's always heed these words.

Some spring/summer photo scenes:

The bike trail system

Call it both a walking and bicycling trail. It snakes along both the east and west sides of our Pomme de Terre River. You can do a complete lap which reportedly measures 4 1/2 miles. It's a fitness challenge for those willing to push their bodies a little! This photo was taken on the east side of the river, heading toward Lake Crissey (a wide spot on the river). Spring is a great time to get out there.

Our area's history:

Remembering "ag school"

From the time it accepted its first class in 1910, until it graduated its final class of seniors in 1963, over 7,000 students attended the West Central School of Agriculture. The precursor of the U of M-Morris, it opened its doors to its first class of 103 students in October of 1910.

Wildflowers out by the river

Click on this image to reach the "Minnesota wildflowers" website. This photo was taken on the west side of our Pomme de Terre River.

Before the current library

In 1921 the Stevens County Memorial Armory was built on the 100 block of East 6th Street, the site which is now occupied by the Morris Public Library.1969 saw the opening of the new Morris Public Library on the site of the old armory, leaving vacant the Carnegie building. The Historical Society found a new home in the Carnegie building in 1970.

A suggested restaurant

About Me

Brian Williams is a former writer in the Morris "dead tree" media who plies his pastime in the wonderful, liberating new media today. He refuses to consider himself an alternative journalist because the web is now the mainstream. Newspapers are in rapid retreat and it won't be long before they will exist in vestigial form only. Print media will not die because as a media observer put it: "We will always have print media for as long as there's a 'print' button on your computer." A once weekly newspaper (like in Morris) won't cut it. It's not consistent with our instant gratification culture. But the media are blossoming more than ever thanks to all the new tools. It's an uplifting, "green" new universe. Key word suggestions: morris mn - hancock mn - donnelly mn - cyrus mn - chokio mn - alberta mn - 56267 - stevens county - morris theater mn - morris area tigers - hancock owls.

Buy a car:

Pomme de Terre or Perkins?

Most maps identify it as "Perkins Lake" but it's known as Pomme de Terre to many local residents. The sign at the entry to the lake access uses the Pomme de Terre term, so that seems legitimate. This lake is part of a chain that represent wide spots on the Pomme de Terre River. Pomme de Terre Lake is useful for recreation and fishing, plus there are many fine residences along the shoreline. The chain is located several miles north of Morris.

A Destiny Driver. . .

"I Love Morris" is consistent with one of the "destiny drivers" as articulated by Stevens Forward! (named for Stevens County): "By 2010 we will enhance our interconnectedness by better utilizing the technology infrastructure to create a virtual community." (2010 is already here but this is always a "work in progress!")

We're the "Storm" in hockey

Click on this image to reach the official website of the Morris Benson Area "Storm" hockey program. Of course it's "MBA" for short. In Morris these teams play at the Lee Community Center, next to the fairgrounds.

B.W.'s country music memories, 1996-97:

Your Congressman:

Maintain perspective:

Main street of Morris mn

Atlantic Avenue is the main street of Morris and it's typically abuzz. Click on the above image to reach the Stevens County Economic Improvement Commission website.

Gager's Station

The first stopping place in Stevens County was Gager's Station, considered by some historians to be one of the more important stopping plces on the Wadsworth Trail. The station was nestled among the trees near Wintermute Lake.

VIDEO CLIPS

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The Eagles huddle

Blue is the color of the Morris amateur baseball team which goes by the nickname "Eagles." They're pictured about to break a pre-game huddle at their home: Chizek Field, named for the late Don Chizek who coached the Morris High Tigers for many years. The Tigers now have their own veteran coach in Lyle Rambow. Lyle had a successful playing career with the Eagles.

RIP jazz band leaders:

Best dog you could own:

"Dog is my co-pilot":

Superb early-morning TV:

Wind turbines - morris mn

There are two grand wind turbines such as this one on the eastern edge of Morris. It appears glistening white in this photo but they often are dark, silhouetted against the bright sky. A photographer never tires of them. They have become sustainable symbols of the community.

A trail of long ago here

The Wadsworth Trail was established by the U.S. Government in 1864 to transport supplies from St. Cloud to Fort Wadsworth, west of present day Sisseton, South Dakota.

No longer just a comedian:

She's upstaging Jim Klobuchar now:

Visit our McDonald's

It's a hotspot for dependable fast food and, just as important, socializing: our McDonald's Restaurant on the north end of Atlantic Avenue.

Our park in west Morris

Wells Park, located near Pacific Avenue and West 11th Street, was established in 1916 on land donated to the city by Henry Wells (a successful businessman and land investor) and Margaret Hulburd. Additional land was donated in 1935 by the Wells Investment Company, and in 1980 by Grace Zamerow.