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The daily word I receive from the Alive to God network is really so useful and lately has just spoken straight to the very core of my heart. Let me share two particularly important messages I received with you:

Tuesday, 18 January

Here is your word for today:

Verse: Jeremiah 31:9

I will cause them to walk by streams of water and bring them in a straight way in which they will not stumble, for I am a Father….

– God always has good things in store for each one of us.
– We all face challenges in the course of life.
– But God wants to bring us through these things to a better place.
– He will lead you home and He will care for you.

PRAYER: Lord, I know that You can use and give purpose to all the issues I face. Thank You that You are my Father and You will help me. Amen.

Thursday, 20 January

Here is your word for today:

Verse: Psalm 145:19 (Good News Translation)

The Lord supplies the needs of those who honour Him; He hears their cries and saves them!

– Remember, God is your source.
– As you honour Him, He will meet your every need.
– He hears your cries, prayers and requests.
– And He promises to hear, supply and save us!

PRAYER: Lord, You are a faithful God, who knows, understands and intervenes when life becomes too heavy. Step into my life and situation today, I pray. Amen.

I really recommend subscribing to this Word for the Day – it’s good to be reminded of the promises from His Word, on a daily basis.

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I really wish I could be as excited about my adventure trip to Berlin these days as I was two or so weeks ago – but my mood has taken a bit of a dip. To be honest, I think it’s because of all the ‘formalities’ I face – they just oppress me and get me down – feeling like I’m wading through thick syrup and trying to reach the other side.

But it’s like they say, something that isn’t worth fighting for….isn’t worth it, right? Those things that come too easy might not challenge us, might not stretch us and might not help us grow as much as those things that push us towards the very edge.

I’m booking my ticket with the travel agent today and then there’s no turning back….

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Oh yes, because I’m packing up my life as I know it and heading to another country! AND, I’m facing numerous risks and uncertainties along the way! ArrrRRGgggHH! *breathe*

So the latest update is this: I’m one step away from booking my return flight to Berlin. Tomorrow I go into the travel agent’s office and sign some papers; hand over some cash; and then that’s that – I’ll be leaving for Berlin on the 23rd of March. The mere thought just freaks me out!? Oh how I wish I could just be chilled – be one of those, ‘yeah, whatever’ people! 😦 🙂

So far, every little obstacle along the way has worked out – God has His hand over this situation – I must NOT lose sight of that (which is what I tend to do way too often!).

This morning I was a little scared that I wouldn’t be able to change my return date with the travel agent. The situation is like so: I go to Berlin, I look for a job. In the even that I get one, I need to return to SA because I can only apply for an Employment Visa from here. This means that, once I knew whether or not I need to return to apply for the Employment Visa, I’ll need to change my return date – and I’d got this great deal to Berlin, so I was praying that they’d be flexible enough to let me change the return date if needs be. I had the travel agent on the phone and as she said “let me just see…”, I stuck my hand up and just prayed – and then she said, “yes, the airline is flexible. That’s no problem. There will be a fee, but it’s no problem to change”. Praise be to God!!! 🙂

So guys….next obstacle – GETTING A JOB WHEN I’M THERE….(and making sure I have enough money for all the accounts back here in SA..they’re not going to stop while I’m gone….!)

This is the biggest step I’ve ever taken in my life – and it’s scary…but I have to do it and the only way to get through it is to pray for the entire process and ask for God’s wisdom and favour in it 🙂

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My mood’s been a little ‘undesirable’ lately, but I think it’s because of a combination of PMS and lack of sleep.

Yesterday I hit a major low, but I was (thankfully) on a mini roadtrip with my father. As if my downer wasn’t enough, I then had to be part of telling someone that his father had passed away – which was a first for me – and I witnessed the pain, sorrow and initial shock that this kind of news causes – to make matters worse, the person we had to break the news to is mentally handicapped. Needless to say – yesterday I spent a large part of the day in tears – and stressing far too much about my attempt to move to Berlin. All my insecurities seemed to eat away at me like parasites – ‘What if I don’t get a job,’ ‘What will any potential interviews be like,’ ‘What if I run out of money,’ etc…

But on the way back home, my father and I stopped at a farmstall and shared a special father-daughter moment. And I chose that moment to reach out to him and ask for his advice – I opened up about my insecurites and literally felt like a scared little girl seeking the comfort of her father’s strong arms – just wanting his confirmation that all will be ok. And that’s exactly what I got. Love. Confirmation. Renewed hope. And it made me realise, again, how very blessed I am to have the best parents in the world – they’re just so amazing.

And today….today I’m on my knees, thanking my Heavenly Father for his constant provision. I managed to get a good deal on a flight in March – almost R2,000 less than I’d budgeted for. Praise the Lord!

And in my mind, the words to a song are constantly playing today:

Big – Planetshakers

My God is big So strong so mighty My God’s plan for me Goes beyond my wildest dream My God is good He’s so good to me

He’s my God and He is my refuge He’s the rock on which i stand He’s my fortress God he is my life He holds the oceans in his hand

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There are days that I surprise myself and there are days that I annoy myself. Today was the latter. If I could’ve turned my back on myself and slammed the door, then I would’ve done that today.

I just don’t know why I let fear get in the way of opportunity. I guess it’s because there’s so much that’s unknown to me – I’ve never taken big risks, and things have pretty much always been planned – there’s always been a safety net. And now – at the age of almost 27 (give or take 8 days) I’m taking one of the most important steps in my life – a step that may just set the course for the many years that lie ahead of me. And of course that’s scary, right? Especially when there’s so much risk attached.

I mentioned to a friend the other day how it’s so typical of me to end up falling in love with someone who lives in a country that literally makes it impossible for outsiders to get in – in fact, they enjoy the fact that they make it so difficult. But anyway, the point is – many pathes I’ve taken have had their fair share of ups and downs, so being in a relationship that’s difficult due to distance shouldn’t surprise me. But (in the famous words of GH), it does sucketh. Sometimes I just wish things were a little easier in certain cirumstances – if I had a choice, I’d choose for them to be a little easier in this situation, for sure. I mean, who wouldn’t?! Having to deal with not being able to be in the same physical space as the man I love is torture most of the time – and one shouldn’t have to walk around trying to occupy your time just so that you’re not reminded of the fact that you can’t be with the person you so desperately want to be with.

Is it obvious that today’s been a little ‘grey’? Sorry! Let me just dig myself out of this hole…

God has a plan – us humans hate it, because we can’t see what it is. It’s not like we can view the plan, discuss it with Him and say, “Well look here Big G, if you change this, and this…oh and this…then it’s cool, I’ll take part. Until then, I’ll be chilling in the Bahamas. Give me a shout when you’ve made the changes to my plan and we can chat some more.” Nope – He has it all worked out and we’re not able to see the bigger picture. But we should teach ourselves to find comfort in the fact that He has a plan. And that no matter what happens along the way, He’s not going to leave us and He won’t let us fall.