So ya thought ya might like to go to the showTo feel the warm thrill of confusionThat space cadet glowI've got some bad news for you sunshinePink isn't well he stayed back at the hotelAnd they sent us along as a surrogate bandWe're gonna find out where you fans really stand

Are there any queers in the theater tonightGet 'em up against the wallThere's one in the spotlightHe don't look right to meGet him up against the wallAnd that one looks JewishAnd that one's a coonWho let all this riff raff into the roomThere's one smoking a joint andAnother with spotsIf I had my wayI'd have all of you shot