Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Back from the Beach

We are back from the beach to be greeted by autumn, making its debut right on cue here in the Yukon. A little early for my tastes (because it gets me excited about Christmas far too early!), but at least I first had the chance to jump in some waves and baptize little Abby with salt water in the name of the beach gods who will, no doubt, oversee her beachy future.The trip was as chaotic as I had expected. Little Abby did not take well to sleeping in strange places, and who can blame her? She slept in closets, ottomans and playpens she'd never seen before! A week with the in-laws, sans the buffer of the husband, left me feeling overexposed and in need of some husband hugs. I told him on the phone one night from our room in Parksville: "Baby, I love you so much more knowing how much you've changed." And this is after being together over eight years! We had fun at the beach though, and managed to enjoy a slice of heaven in the form of fine dining once or twice. A glass of Riesling tastes so much better after waiting so long to enjoy it! And, as per my own rules, I enjoyed some fresh seafood, as I only eat it when seaside.Alongside all the driving, flying, fast food and seaweed, the liquid in my love cup was nearing the brim. I can now say with pride and a sense of wonder that I feel the mom love. My love cup filleth and spilleth over. I waited for nine months wondering what this bond would feel like. I waited six months more when it wasn't quite ready to make its debut just because Abby was born. And now, my little travel buddy and I are best friends and permanent hug and kiss partners. I can say with every cell in my body I love her deeper and with more warmth than anything else. I love her Daddy, and he makes me balanced as a person, challenged as an individual and fulfilled as a wife. If he were gone, I would miss him terribly, achingly and feel so lonely. But if Abigail were gone, I would feel like my arm had been cut off. She is a part of me, she grew in me and is flesh from my flesh. Her heart beat inside me and now beats alongside me as she sits on my hip, lies next to me, sings to me, smiles at me. And I, in return, dance with her, feed her, laugh with her and play. I feel the mama love and it is an overwhelming rush to identify it.