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Welcome to AlaskaVillageTales, aka YVC-Your Village Called!!! or (Yukon Villages Consortium) by Samuel L Flyinghorse.
YVC is the next biggest zany Alaska Blog sitcom to wander across the muskeg since the tv show "Northern Exposure".
YVC is an all star cast of Alaska Villages, demanding Elders, disgruntled Teens, lively Children and lost sled Dogs.
Call the Alaska State Troopers, Quick! Wake the VPSO!! It's time for fun!

But hey!!You get free Cable and the In-House Laundry machines only eat your shirts and socks on Tue and the Dryers shred your sweaters and linen every other Sat aanndd Anchorage PD SWAT at least "knocks" once before raiding your Apt House/Building at 3 a.m.

AnchorageWhere Our Mayor is so young looking that he's Everyone's little brother!!

AnchorageComo esta usted??

Anchorage-Our AK Native "Sleeping Lady" wears Highlighted hair extensions by Beaute nde Beastro, -gets her skincare at Allure's on theBlvd, -shops at 6th Ave Mall,-refines her cultured taste w/ Symphony concerts & Broadway Plays at Egan Ctr,-rides the ART buses,-Works out at theAK Fitness Clubs,-watches movies at Century Cinema's-snacks with Jarod at SubWays-tans her hide at Solar Flares or theMid-Town Shaken Bake-had to get a 2nd job at CrazyHorse II and a refi to pay for theHummer from AK Sales-n-Fleece-can often be seen ducking into various Downtown Bars at night-proudly touts 40 "DD" enhancements from Dr Hanns Off,-Gets a Sphinx bikini wax every month,-surfs theInet on Clear w're-and her leg Garter Belt is always laden with 10's and 20' dollar bills!!

Did I mention that our AK Native "Sleeping Lady" is a mortal enemy of the 5 Alaska Princess'?? (read thePrincess Diaries and you'll understand)

-Soon Sleeping Lady will be getting a Clit ring, a 5lb Tongue Bar, and 3 Gold Ear hoops from GothBody Extreme,-she'll also be getting an Anal Bleaching from theBP Conaco Shell station salon!!-an Upper arm, 1 shoulder blade, a low back and ankle tats are in the works and she'll soon enroll at UAA Nurse school. Our Sleeping Lady is a hard working gal, everyone loves her.

AnchorageOur Tent City gets postal service, -each tent and Lean-to has Sat & Inet hookups,-TC even has it's own website,-has its Dry Cleaning, Laundry services,-plays $5000 bingo every 2 weeks, -and just opened it's Security services substation to keep out theGoody Do Gooders and Welfare to Work people on Gamble Street. (beat that Seattle!!)

AnchorageOur FM 106.5 KWHL rocks!!. (K-whale is not to be confused with VillageTail although both Kick Ass)

AnchorageOur Rapid Transit Buses go for broke on long stretches and accelerate in turns and corners!!

Anchoragestill Wincing each time theSam!! steps foot outside his Apt.

AnchorageWho ordered Liquid Ass off the Internet and left a few drops on some Anchorage RT Buses?

AnchoragePutting the Rage into Springtime meltdowns in Domestic Live-In and Marital relationships.

Anchorage-now available in convenient microwave foil packs, -In unscented tube gel form, and for the Healthgone South members - available without a prescription!!

AnchorageWHY BE SUBTLE?!

Anchorage?lamron eb yhW

Anchorageef u cn red dis tank Anchorage School District.

Anchorage A happy fun place when strong winds blow down from theValley!!

AnchorageVisit us, see the sights, taste the foods, hear the sounds, feel the City then retire to your hotel room and weep uncontrollably while huddled in the shower corner.(theSam!! just leans against theWall a bit)

Anchorage"Tyrone, Kion, Teesha, jamal.... Get off that man's shoes!... and stand up straight!!!.....Where's my purse!??....damit, get over here now!!!"

Anchoragehome of theNicest, Politest drivers this side of thePacific Time Zone where it's considered bad form to reenter your Vehicle, after being Rear-ended or T-boned, w/less than 5 empty hand-gun magazines after the Screaming match is over with theOther driver. And in a Head-on it's just rude to leave survivors in theOther vehicle.

AnchoragetheRest of AK revolves around us dammn it!!

AnchorageGas is ONLY $4 a gallon Get Over It!!

AnchorageGet a Food Stamp debit card, a 12,000min Picture Phone for $1 a year, a 6mon Bus Pass for free, Reduced or Free Medical/Dental/Eye care, New clothes, a dirt cheap apt and a Part Time job at $25/hr.........in 2 days!! but it takes 145 days to hear back from your Case Worker

Mr Merlinz bus is the Only Kneeling bus that actually Prays when it stops. And remember, Don't pet or feed the Seeing Eye dog!! (and Mr Erlin too for that matter)

More Anchorage slogans from Internet Friends:Thanks guyz & gals

Anchorage - Where 40 degrees is warm.

Anchorage - It's not Juneau!

Anchorage - Where the wildlife is tamer than the people.

Anchorage - What happens here..........stays here. Because no one outside cares.

Anchorage - We almost got the '96 Olympics!

Anchorage- where we shoot back.Anchorage- come pet the moose.Anchorage- Now with more gangs.

Anchorage-Where walking through dog yards in spring is an adventure.Anchorage- The aroma of dog yards is in the air.Anchorage- The uncovering of the garbage from the melting snow.Anchorage-if you have fish the tourists will comeAnchorage-summer means less clothing Anchorage- 2 seasons...summer and construction.Anchorage-Will we get a Kelly cup?

A posting from my facebook. I did not write it but will spread the news.
Problems like the ones addressed are real. I'm sure we've all seen things like this elsewhere, I'm glad to see someone is taking a stand and speaking out. Please repost and spread the news.
SamuelLFlyinghorse
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Active Citizens for Tribal Truth (ACTT), I like the sound of that. Very direct and optimistic, yet I can’t help but wonder what is meant by truth? If truth means something that cannot be questioned or denied, & everything else is a lie, then those seeking tribal truth should also be open to their own lies. Especially those that helped create many of the social problems we see on our reservation today. Problems like, 1/3 of our women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetimes, and 4800 annual reports of child abuse & neglect, problems that carry no monetary or popularity gain, so they are rarely heard on the council floor. These combined with many of our other soci…

My Tribe is the best Tribe in the world. Can't be beat when it comes to the Village Council vying with the US military or any other secret gov't agency in keeping up with the times in obtaining the latest in high tech stuff.

My Tribal issued I.D. card has a holographic image of the Tribal Seal upon it; "9 little Smokehouses" all in a circle.

Why 9? I dunno. Perhaps it's to avoid a stigma like the proverbial "10 little 'dinDins".

And smack dab in the middle of the Smokehouse circle is a Shot glass. ??? What on earth for? As if to say that our lives now revolve around... Nevermind.

And my neck occasionally smarts where the Bio-chip implant was recently inserted by the Village Health Aide. I'm told the implant is a smart chip. Good! I say.

Because sometimes I'm not the smartestsestest...est villager in the vil.. Community. Although I don't like my PC rebooting at random and my toaster suddenly popping when I approach the kitchen…