"Speed kills. Drive a Kia and live forever!"
"That's not a leak. My Kia's just marking it's territory."
"You might own a Kia if you keep getting sympathy cards from the dept of transport."
"I could never keep a Kia under me, I was always under the Kia."
"Friends don't let friends drive Kias."

Strongest Man
A guy walks into a biker bar and demands to know "Who's the strongest man in here?"
A tough looking guy goes over to him and says "I am the strongest around here!"
The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my Kia to the gas station?"