Sailboat Jello

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I’m sure this will be the first time of many that I mention to you that I am in a musical this spring, The Pirates of Penzance, with the Durham Savoyards. (I play one of the many dippy daughters of the famed model of a modern Major General.)

This weekend was our first cast party. These parties are always of legendary proportion, partly because the casts are huge and partly because theater people love them some partay. Traditionally, everyone brings food, eats said food, drinks beer, and makes merry.

Despite the fact that this pin has no instructions with it, even on the source page, I thought I’d give it a try. I mean, even I can handle blue jello and toothpicks… right?

I began with the blue jello, which seemed logical.

I was slightly worried that I got 7 little snack cups total out of the whole batch of jello and then only filled the cups half-way. My usual knee-jerk reaction when bringing food for a party is to make eleventy billion times more of something than I would ever eat myself, so having only 7 of these was kind of making me upset, but I reasoned I could always supplement with something else.

Next I worked on the sailboats, the first attempt of which did not go well…

A little too much sail, there.

I did a few more sail experiments, and even played with pirate sails, which I quickly abandoned because my skull-and-crossbones skills are not what they were in the semi-gothy days of my youth.

Eventually, through trial and error, I constructed boats that didn’t look too terrible and actually would stand up in the jello. This involved taping the sails higher and making the sails a little smaller.

I was still worried that these wouldn’t be enough, so I threw some cuties on the tray with them and called it done. I needn’t have worried about it, since there were still a few left when I made my exit from the party. Turns out jello sailboat thingies cannot compete with homemade tiramisu, key lime cupcakes, and dessert liquor.

Anyway, they made it to the party mostly without capsizing, although I did have to do a little repair work on arrival, and I thought they were stinking adorable, so I’m calling this a win.

Here is a little poem for you Pintestes, and also you Gilbert & Sullivan fans:

I am the very model of a modern Pinterest fucker-up
I’ve done ’em all from modpodgey to recipe to Jello cup
I read the right instructions, but I often do not follow ’em
I post ’em up for folks to read, but they can barely swallow ’em
I’m very well acquainted, too, with people who are humorless
I understand that they are just the loser-y of loser-est
But those who stick around to read leave comments so hysterical
That managing a coffee sip without a snarf’s a miracle

I would leave a more hysterical comment, but I’m too busy cleaning up the coffee I choked on while LOLing too your little show tune revamp. Love it! (Oh, and I thought your jello thingies turned out great!)

I think you’ve found a whole new category to play around with here. First you try the pin without reading the instructions, then you read the instructions and follow them (sort of) and see which works out better. My money is on doing it your own way!

Lauren, make another batch of that shit and pour in vodka-a-plenty. Dealing with the whole post op wisdom tooth thing without alcohol is a mistake you will end up telling the Grandkids about. Unless you belong to some weird cult that believes in suffering being good for you, if that’s the case please proceed… ignore me completely…sorry to have troubled you.

This could have been a two in one pintester! You could have loaded the oranges with vodka too, soaking them overnight or something. By the way, your cross bones kinda looks like a penis too. It amazes me how good you are at making the most ordinary things look Penis-ish

Look, the jello boaty thingies are great, you did a really good job. But…you went to a Pirates of Penzance party without something soaked in a huge amount of Rum…WTF?? Anything to do with pirates, sailing, the Navy, boats…whatever…requires huge amounts of Rum. I think it’s the law or something.

Of course, the citrus fruit that actually held scurvy at bay was lime. Not lemon, not orange. Unfortunately for any sailors, limes were in higher demand and therefore more expensive, so on long voyages they would often get scurvy anyways.

I officially have a full-out crush on you now. Not only do you regularly make me spit tea at my lap top (brought it out my nose once) but you are also a fellow theatre nerd!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love your little themed snacks!!!

A snarf? Wow. It must have developed a new meaning from when I was a kid. We used to say that about , hum, um well lets just say flatjulence. It refered to a smelly one … SsaaaNiff a raunchy fart. Sorry. It just hit me strange. lol

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