Justin Bieber, lawsuits and heart-shaped gondolas of destruction

Written By: Lisa Vankula Donovan
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Jul•
14•12

It seems these days anybody can be sued for anything…and they are. Most recently, a woman filed a suit against Justin Bieber for hearing loss. Yes, you read that correctly. The mother of five had attended a Bieber concert two years ago and said that the star enticed fans into a “frenzy of screams” by waving his arms inside of a heart-shaped gondola that was pulled over the crowd. She said the gondola “acted as a conductor, creating a sound blast that permanently damaged both my ears.”

So, of course, for her having her hearing damaged, she believes (two years later) that she’d feel better with a cool 9.2 million in her pocket.

Look, I slipped in the rain walking into McDonald’s the other day. I didn’t sue them for 9.2 million dollars. I knew walking in that it was rainy and wet. The chances of me slipping were higher than normal. I’d have been happy with a free McFlurry. But did you see me calling the lawyer?

When you go to the concert of a boy with the fame of at least The Beatles in their heyday (sad, but true) with your five, yes five, children and thousands of other kids their age who, because of their current growth state, have underdeveloped larynx’s, you probably should expect a bit of high-pitched screaming and plan accordingly; like, bring some earplugs or vodka.

When these lawsuits come about, it’s blaringly obvious to everyone that money is the motivator. Did she get some hearing loss? Probably. Was it her decision to go to the concert? Absolutely. Someone more famous than I (again, hard to believe) once said, “When you choose the behaviour, you choose the consequences.”

No offense, but I’ve only got two children and the decibel level at my house sometimes reaches a point where I’m sure I’ve even seen the dog mouth, “Shut up,” so I can’t even imagine being in a stadium with thousands of other little ones all whipped up into a frenzy for two hours straight. I love my kids but I think I’d buy the DVD first…and leave the room.

And unfortunately, they’ll probably settle out of court, she’ll take her large cash settlement and make a statement in front of the camera about how she “just wanted justice” and go about her life…in her brand new car with a Justin Bieber cd playing.