TNA: iMPACT! (10.15.05)

The current NWA & TNA Champs were as follows:NWA World Champion: Jeff Jarrett (9/15/2005)NWA World Tag Team Champions: The Naturals (4/29/2005)TNA X-Division Champion: AJ Styles (9/11/2005)

Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Don West.

Monty Brown vs. Mikey Batts & Jerrelle Clark

Batts leaps off Clark to jump Monty in the aisle. It doesn’t work. He gets caught and backed into the ringpost. Clark comes out to stop Monty, but Batts gets swung into him. In the ring, Clark gets the POOOOOOOOOOOUNCE, period. Batts flies in, but he’s caught AGAIN and dropped with the Alpha Bomb to pin them both. (:47) Pretty effective squash there. Afterwards, Monty gets on the stick and tells the world that nothing will stop him from becoming the NWA world champion. Out comes Lance Hoyt who feels otherwise. They will meet each other at Bound for Glory.

In the back with Shane Douglas, a bunch of security guys surround Larry Zbyszko as he announces that the NWA tag belts will be on the line next week as the Naturals defend against AMW. The security guys are there for good reason too. Raven appears wanting answers as to why Jeff Jarrett is the NWA world champion and why Kevin Nash can just waltz back into TNA and get *his* world title shot at Bound for Glory. WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT ABOUT RAVEN? Larry Z throws him out of the building again. If Larry had any brains, he’d throw himself out.

They announce Samoa Joe v. Jushin Liger at Bound for Glory!

Matt Bentley (w/Traci) vs. David Young (w/Simon Diamond)

Young attacks at the bell, but Bentley catches him with a spinning heel kick. Diamond trips Bentley up to help Young take back control with a backcracker. Nasty back suplex from Young and a hard whip into the corner gets two. The crowd gets behind Bentley as he comes back with a swinging neckbreaker and holds onto him for a brainbuster. Picture Perfect Elbow connects, Diamond gets knocked off the apron, and Young takes a flapjack. SUPERKICK gets the 1-2-3. (2:30) Another good squash as Young got in a few nice moves on Bentley. After the bell, Petey Williams comes in and gives Bentley a CANADIAN DESTROYER. He puts the lip lock on Traci, who isn’t down for that and gives Petey a hard slap. He considers giving her a Canadian Destroyer, but would rather lift up her skirt. What won’t they do for ratings! Since they can only go so far, Chris Sabin runs down and clears Petey of the ring. ULTIMATE X! ¾*

Of course no TNA vignette could be complete without some pokes at WWE.

Time for the Team 3D Funeral. Probably one of the funnier things from TNA. James Mitchell gives the eulogy, which includes the reason why Planet Jarrett did what they did to Team 3D last week. They did not want them coming into a company that they built from the ground up now that they are on Spike TV and stealing their spotlight. Team Canada is wiping Scott D’Amore’s mouth as he eats, James Storm is drinking beers and complaining of having to pee, and Abyss crushes a box of tissues. Chris Harris drapes a Team 3D shirt on the casket and lays a reduced price sign on top. Plus, a couple ‘their careers were already dead’ jokes. Then James Mitchell announces that the day after Bound for Glory, there will be another burial for Kevin Nash. And everybody laughs! As everybody walks out, James Storm pulls his pants down and pees in the casket. He said he had to go! Oh, that James!

That was the most disrespectful thing Mike Tenay has EVER seen.

Rhino vs. Sabu

They are building up that Monster’s Ball, I tell ya! Sabu is all heel kicks, but misses a split-legged moonsault. Rhino pounds away, but Sabu sidesteps a charge and Rhino goes flying to the floor. Sabu follows him out with a somersault plancha. Back in, they get to sword fighting with chairs, which Rhino wins and bashes the chair across Sabu’s face for 1-2-NO! We could see the RHINO DRIVER ON A CHAIR, but you should have to pay for that one. Sabu fights him off and headscissors Rhino onto the chair. Sabu heads up for the ARABIAN FACEBUSTER, but Abyss and James Mitchell are here! He throws the chair at Abyss to wipe him out. Sabu leaps over Rhino, but turns back around into the GORE for the 1-2-3. (3:36) Abyss goes after Rhino and boots away a Gore. Out comes the sack of tacks, but you will have to pay for that too. Jeff Hardy heads out and beats up Abyss to lead a big swarm of security on all four of these crazy people. ¾*

The Iron Man Challenge with Christopher Daniels

The big question here is can Christopher Daniels defeat three hand-picked opponents of AJ Styles in fifteen minutes? We’re about to find out.

First opponent is…Shark Boy! If you can recall back before Unbreakable and you probably can’t, Shark Boy upset Christopher Daniels in a non-title match. Can he do it again? Shark Boy plays Bugs Bunny with Elmer Fudd around the ring to waste time to start. Inside though, Shark Boy levels Daniels with a missile dropkick and a reverse neckbreaker, but the ANGEL’S WINGS comes and Shark Boy gets pinned with 13:34 remaining.

The second opponent for Christopher Daniels is…Sonjay Dutt! Not sure there is any references or nuances to this pick. Let’s just see what happens. Sonjay wins a slugfest and hits a slingshot elbow drop for two. A couple headscissors and Daniels is on the floor for an Asai Moonsault that goes somewhat awry. Commercials! We return at the 7:45 mark where Sonjay has an Octopus Stretch on Daniels. Sonjay gets dumped on the apron and tries a springboard, but flies right down into a Flatliner. Daniels dishes out the slams and whips Sonjay hard in the corner. He cranks on a chinlock to create one more comeback for Sonjay. He delivers a slingshot headscissors and walks the ropes for his own version of Old School. Water sprinkler elbow drop (or whatever) gets two. Tornado DDT scores another nearfall. He goes for the HINDU PRESS and rolls through when Daniels moves. Sonjay charges, but he’s thrown shoulder-first into the ringpost. Big Enziguri Kick sets up the ANGEL’S WINGS to finish with 3:04 left.

And the third and final opponent is…TNA X-Division champ AJ Styles! Daniels makes AJ give chase and throws a chair back in his face. He throws AJ into the guardrail and then hard into the corner back inside. Running knee gets two. He wants the ANGEL’S WINGS, but AJ flips Daniels and rallies back with a series of clotheslines. With just seconds remaining, Styles goes for a springboard and trips, which allows Daniels to bail out of the ring as time runs out. (15:00) AJ says that normally he would be going after Daniels to stomp him down right now, but he’ll be able to do that for 30 minutes in just eight days at Bound for Glory. Fun stuff. **½