“OK, settle down everybody. We’ve got Spring Training coming up in a couple of weeks, so this meeting is important as it allows us as an organization to address the issues that might be holding us back from succeeding in 2012. First on the agenda is deciding how to replace Jose Reyes’s output at the top of the order. Any suggestions?”

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“Good idea. Now what about helping Ruben Tejada break in as the starting shortstop. That’s a big job.”

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“All right. Ike Davis and Johan Santana are each coming back from injuries and we’re going to need them to return to form. How do we do that?”

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“This is going better than planned. We have high hopes for Lucas Duda’s bat, but his glove might be a project. What’s the best way to bring him along in right?”

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“We are really rolling. Listen, we all love Murph, but his defense is going to be a tough fit at any position. Can we improve his pivot on the double play so he can be at second every day — anybody?”

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“Beautiful! We have a whole new bullpen this year, with everybody moving into new roles. Any suggestions so the late innings aren’t a nightmare?”

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“Nice going. Catching’s a little thin. Is there a way to enhance what we have between Thole and Nickeas?”

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“That’s some real forward thinking there. The walls are coming in, but Jason Bay may need more than that. Do we tinker with his stance, get him counseling or what?”

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“I’m writing that one down. Next on the agenda is Pelfrey…need I say more?”

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“Nail on the head! On the off-field issues, what about attendance? It’s been down the last couple of years and the lack of any big acquisitions isn’t necessarily going to fire anybody up. What to do?”