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I lock my second hand mountain bike (worth $300?) using a solid U-lock, in an underground car-park with secure entry (with an entry ramp 50m long making it very difficult to tailgate unnoticed), rammed with CCTV and housing the headquarters of the Australian Federal Police (including a number of their vehicles in the basement). When I went to fetch my bike last week there was in fact an officer sitting in his car right across from my bike (eating what I stereotypically presume to be a donut). When I thanked him for guarding my bike, he replied "All part of the service!!".

Do I possibly qualify as the only person in Sydney who definitely isn't going to have his bike nicked from work?

I saw someone at work arguing with security when he tried to take his bike up to the office and security didnt budge. We have bike cages but they keep cutting through them. Security then throws some sheet metal down and they work out some other way in. I was keen to upgrade my 11 year old Trek 1000 but considering I dont lock my baby and 2 bikes in the same cage have been stolen, I think I will keep it.