Sacrifice

Summary:
He's making the bigger sacrifice. He won't die for her. He loves her too much for that. One Shot.

Notes:
Jake/Bella... OMC, Jacob Black is seriously invading my brain. ALL THE IDEAS! Expect an alarming quantity of Jake/Bella from me now, or just Jake-centric fic... he's been kind of loud lately. Crazy? Me? Ugh, it's three in the morning. Insomnia, how i loathe thee...

1. Sacrifice

It’s what she wants, what she needs, a damn epic promise he won’t give her.

But he knows, even if she’s too caught in her blindness to see.

He won’t die for her.

He loves her too much for that.

Sure, sure, it’d be so much easier, wouldn’t it? To just give up. Damn the running, it’s an escape but it’s also a lie and instinct and emotion aren’t that far apart and neither of them come anything close to what he needs which is mere oblivion.

He wants it to end.

But he’d never do that to her.

Because he knows she’d find a way to make it her fault, to hate herself forever, and because she always does what’s worst, she’d end up realizing too late the choice she made was wrong.

Or maybe he’s deluding himself.

Maybe she wouldn’t even care.

When you die, I’ll die too.

No.

When you leave, you’ll die.

It’s what she wants. Death and stillness and cold and forever and him.

The other him.

He still hears the words “Kiss me Jacob Kiss me and then come back Kiss me Kiss me Kiss me Come back Come back Jacob…”

A litany after a while that loses first order and then sense.

It doesn’t matter because it’s all that keeps him going- “Kiss me and then come back.”

He will disobey.

He is never coming back.

Because he never left.

No matter how many miles his legs run he’s still hers, hers, all hers forever and he’s with her wherever they are.

He loves her.

God, but he loves her!

And she’s sacrificing that love and everything that makes her what he loves for something else. For a monster.

She’s giving up life and love and warmth and him for another, someone who can return all she brings him with nothing more than coldness and heartbreak and death.

He can’t even blame her for it, he loves her so much.

But he knows she’s wrong.

Hell, he knows!

Yet he’s going to watch her do it, watch her give up her life and then he’s going to run.

But not die.

Bleed.

But not break.

Suffer.

But never give up.

Because that’d be becoming his own enemy.

He’s not Romeo.

In the end, he can’t be a romantic, and so he settles for being her unpretentious soul mate.

The one she should’ve chosen, but she’d rather ride off into the sunset with a dream he knows isn’t as good in reality.

And so he’ll run.

And run.

And when she dies, when he bites her and takes away everything that makes her true and freezes her life into ice and sweetness, then he’ll run home.

Home to his pack and his brothers and his damn duty.

Because that’s what he’ll settle for. He’ll never have her.

But he’ll have a purpose.

He’ll live to hunt the vampires and keep the people safe.

He’ll live forever.

Alone.

She’ll never see who’s making the bigger sacrifice.

It would be so much easier if he could just give up on life, but that’s not his part.

He has to be there for her, tomorrow or in a hundred years, human or leech, his Bella Swan or Mrs. Edward Cullen… it’s his job.

To wait forever.

He’ll give his pain, all the agony of loneliness, if he has to.

Because he promised he’d never leave her, and he doesn’t make promises he isn’t willing to keep.