Thursday, October 17, 2013

American Horror Story: Coven 3.02 Review: What's So Great About Eternal Life?

For any that have yet to watch
last night’s episode of American Horror
Story: Coven, entitled ‘Boy Parts’, I suggest you do so now, or exit this
screen immediately. This is not a spoiler free blog. THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! You’ve been warned.

Well, this week’s episode was
better than last week, but there still wasn’t much horror to it. Plus, a lot of
the storylines are way out there, and all over the place. There’s way too many
things going on at once, and it’s just distracting to try and keep track of all
of it. If the things all weaved together, I’d give some leeway to them, but
there’s really still too much going on.

This week I really enjoyed Lily
Rabe’s character, Misty Day. I’m extremely happy she’s not dead, despite being
burnt alive. The way she was dressed, and her hair were both fantastic for the
character. I absolutely adored her scenes with Taissa Farmiga’s Zoe. It was
incredibly sad how much she wanted someone like her around, and that
vulnerability came across quite well on screen. I definitely want more of Zoe
and Misty in scenes. Also, my favourite moment may have been Misty singing
along to Stevie Nixx. That was an amazingly beautiful scene.

Other than her scenes with Misty,
the character of Zoe is a little too weak and sniveling. Plus, the black widow
power, kind of stupid. But about how weak she is, it’s boring to watch. I don’t
want to follow a weepy little blabbermouth like her around, but I absolutely
love Taissa Farmiga in this series, so I have a conundrum. Can the writers
please give the girl better material to work with?

About the technical stuff in this
series, the music for the opening titles is scarier than the actual titles. The
first two seasons – despite the second season not being scary – at least had
horrifying title sequences. That and the terrible cinematography this season,
sometimes it’s completely disorienting, with the upside down shots, and then
other times it’s too close-up. In the scene where Madison and Zoe are trying to
resurrect Kyle, the scene would’ve been well put together if the camera people
had just backed up about a foot or two. So, when splicing the material
together, try not to make it so damned difficult to watch. Sure, the last two
seasons, scenes would just show up, like bam I’m here, but it’s like they’re
purposely trying to distract us from scenes and make us nauseous to watch this
series this season. I can’t say any stronger how much I can’t stand it. Sure,
it was a bit better than last week, but not nearly as well done as the previous
seasons. There’s ten episodes left, get your act together.

Surprisingly, I find myself liking
how Emma Roberts plays her character Madison. She seems to be able to play
spoiled rich girl quite well, and she’s dangerous to boot. And then Kyle seemed
closer to crazy Tate than last week. Maybe it was the hair; it looked a lot
like the crazy blonde Tate had. But I seriously hope he doesn’t actually spend
six episodes devoid of speech. There are only twelve episodes in a season, and
he spoke the first episode, that leaves five more episodes of not talking.
Maybe one more would work, but five’s pushing it beyond the realm of intriguing
acting techniques.

There are many questions I still
have about this series. What was the necessity of throwing Cordelia’s desire to
have a child into the mix of an already clogged season of storylines? After
about one hundred and eighty years, why didn’t Marie Laveau have more money to
show for it? Did Lily Rabe look pregnant to anyone else during the opening
scene where she resurrects the crocodiles? Could Zoe be the next Supreme?
Wasn’t Queenie’s ancestor the slave that was accused of witchcraft? Wouldn’t
that make her a Voodoo witch if that was the same person Laveau was speaking
of? And why didn’t the spell call Misty to Madison? Was it just because Zoe was
still in the vicinity of where the spell was enacted, or is it because she is
the Supreme?

Well, American Horror Story: Coven, you’ve done a smidge better this
week, but please work harder next week. Cut the disorienting cinematography, tighten
the storylines, and let Kyle speak soon. Those are my suggestions; I implore
you to adhere to them.

My rating: 6 out of 10.

Best Lines:

“In this whole wide wicked world, the only thing you have to
be afraid of, is me.” – Fiona tells Madison and Zoe.

“Did we just marry the devil? Because I don’t know if I’m
down with that?” – Zoe questions Madison, while they perform the resurrection
spell.

“Well, that was a bust.” – Madison remarks after the spell
doesn’t work.

“She had the face of a damn hippo.” – Madame Lalaurie
remembers her long deceased daughter.

All right, folks, that’s all for tonight. I’ll catch you all
tomorrow for reviews of The Crazy Ones,
The Vampire Diaries, Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, and Grey’s Anatomy. And hopefully my fifth
edition of Best Performances of the Week.