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The politics we deserve

Josh Withers was deeply disappointed that ‘JG chose to hold an election on the day the British Empire adopted the Gregorian calendar in 1752’. Because Malcolm Turnbull was deeply disappointed that the PM chose to fire a long range shot into the Jewish community’s plans for Yom Kippur. Leading to a very weird and kind of meshuggina bingle over whether observant Jews would be more put out than usual because every election day is held on Sabbath… and… and…

Oh God… Just. Make. It. Stop.

Or, as the venerable Dr Yobbo insisted, “Twitter I will need your full list of current/projected hash-tags for muting every trace of this pissant f…ing Australian election campaign”. (I note he tweeted that in Full Yobbo mode, rather than as New Zealand’s official representative to the Twunterverse, which is what he is all this week. God help them).

The initial reaction to the Orange Roughy’s election news was all Veruca Salt. An online nation of spoiled little rich kids whining about having too much democracy and not enough of Wonka’s tasty squirrel nuts.

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If anybody had anything to complain about it’s the press gallery, who might now have to do some real work rather than filing five months worth of election date speculation stories which could be cut and pasted from every election that ever there was before.

Indeed, before we get into this campaign, and we won't, not really, until the writs are filed, perhaps we of the media could make a pledge not to make the whole thing so effing tedious and pointless as the last time and the time before that and the time before that and whatever and ever amen.

A lot of what’s awful about politics is your fault. Yes, you the punters, for not taking your civic responsibilities seriously enough. But it’s our fault in the media when we don’t give you the information to do that, instead serving up inanities like yesterday’s epic derp about Gillard’s ‘hipster glasses’, or treating seriously the brain farts of people like Turnbull when he’s punking us with tweets about Yom Kippur. These trivialities shouldn’t be reported. They should be mocked, and for the most part they are, but not by us. You have to turn to Josh Withers or Doc Yobbo for that.

Instead we’re reporting the faff. And doing it at great trouble and expense, dispatching hundreds of reporters and producers and camera guys and soundos hither and yon to get eight or nine seconds of vision of Tony Abbott shoveling mud in a hi-vis waist coat, or Gillard tooling around in an Abrams tank and hipster glasses.

(Yes, yes I know that last one hasn’t happened yet, but it will. Because of its defence cuts, the ALP has a serious national security problem this time around. Or rather, a serious national security image problem. So let the word go forth from this time and this place that this government stands ready to make any sacrifice and to pay any price in the defence of this realm by putting Hipster Jules into a tank or jet fighter for as long as it takes to get enough photos to make the whole tedious defence image problem thingy go away).

But here’s the thing. We don’t have to eff it up the way we do every bloody election. And by ‘we’ I do mean the media. We don’t have to buy into the parties’ micro-management of our responsibilities. There are any number of things we can do to get around that. As a first example some of the best, most in depth policy analysis is not being done on the Op Ed pages of our newspapers. It’s to be found in the widely unread blogs of amateurs and obsessives who devote years of study to particular areas, and in the specialist online press which has long buried the mainstream media’s coverage of their particular areas. They don’t have a lock on specialist coverage, of course. Away from the Op Ed pages the mainstream media is more than capable of kicking arse. For instance, Fairfax’s Asher Moses can write you a scarifying NBN story at whatever length you want. But he can’t be everywhere. And he doesn’t need to, because the tech media in Australia are more than capable of demolishing anything Conroy or … God… who is the Opposition communications spokesnut?

Anyway, point proved, right there. I shouldn’t be writing about the NBN. Nor should Laurie Oakes or Annabel Crabb or anyone like them in anything other than the most general sense. They have other skills they should be applying to other things. There are people with much gnarlier more granular knowledge than us who will be doing the grunt work on policy detail and they should be getting a wider audience than they do. Rather than bitching and moaning about the bottom feeders on the web stealing all our best stuff we should seriously think about stealing theirs. Or, here’s a radical suggestion, even paying them for it.

There’s no reason we shouldn’t be drawing on that resource rather than expecting the world from a couple of dozen gallery journos who are experts in nothing other than being Gallery journos. And there's no reason to turn to the Gallery to explain things that specialist in house reporters are much better suited to cover. Quick example, here's the same issues you've just been reading about getting a thorough working over at the Politically Homeless blog.

If we did this though, if we opted out of the supervised play days of conventional political reporting, would you even care? Or would you find something to whine about then too?

72 comments

Having specialists write articles about their field of speciality?!? Whatever could you be thinking JB?

As an aside, I think a lot of people became disillusioned with the Canberra press pack when they reported Gillard's misogyny speech is such poor terms, when the feeling around the place was that it was the best thing Gillard had ever done. More consistent analysis - placed higher on websites or closer to page 1 - by people away from the political process would be greatly appreciated.

But not right now. Nine months worth? o_O

Commenter

SAJ

Date and time

January 31, 2013, 5:41AM

Why did you ask God who the opposition communications spokesperson is? Vishnu will be upset

Commenter

Franky

Location

Sydney

Date and time

January 31, 2013, 9:28AM

Vishnu is an avatar of the Godhead/ultimate/absolute. Check out Saguna brahman on wiki.

Vishnu will be cool about it.

Commenter

Geoff Edwards

Location

Flounceaux

Date and time

January 31, 2013, 9:44AM

And the FSM shares his noodly appendages with all. Just wait to be touched...

Commenter

ArkM

Location

Sydney

Date and time

January 31, 2013, 12:27PM

The good thing about such a long election campaign is that I have eight months of avoiding electoral propaganda to take advantage of. Eight months of turning the TV off and going outside, to avoid the pointless rhetoric; of throwing the front half of the paper away and selecting reading options that actually broaden my perspective and mind; and eight months of selectively pruning my Twitter feeds to include only non-political inanities. If all goes to plan, I will emerge from the election campaign with a bright new perspective on life...

...just in time to have it ruthlessly squashed by the numpties of whichever side wins the damn thing.

Commenter

JP

Location

Sydney

Date and time

January 31, 2013, 7:26AM

Conroy *is* God. In his own mind.

Commenter

Mulga

Date and time

January 31, 2013, 7:43AM

Oh JB you almost made me cry... I so hope the Journo's listen to you. Regardless of whether you support Holden or Ford, or even the little new kid on the block. Punters need 'real' information to make decisions.

Gee, with your wonderful & wise insight, maybe you should think about taking a few months off from the writing to venture into the Press Gallery? Cmon, I would sacrifice not reading the next in the series for a few months... Would be hard to do, but, I would consider it a public service depriving myself of that read to know that you were doing "Important Things For Australia"????? Dare ya.... ;-)

Commenter

Noely

Location

Sunshine Coast

Date and time

January 31, 2013, 8:27AM

Noely. My publishers saw your suggestion. They're sending a team around. Get out while you still can. Now. Go! Quickly!

Commenter

JB

Date and time

January 31, 2013, 8:46AM

Surely a few months in the Press Gallery could be written off as 'research'? Surely you need to see them in action to be authentic in a 'future alternate press gallery'? You know it makes sense ;-)

Commenter

Noely

Location

Sunshine Coast

Date and time

January 31, 2013, 10:06AM

But if it isn't hipster glasses, it's coverage about why she announced the election date. And that's not helpful either. All we seem to get is footage of hi-vis vests or shoes falling off. 10 years ago, the big boss-man bowled a wide that was so far off the pitch that it landed somewhere near the SCG, but there wasn't near obsessive coverage of that. Sure, we laughed and cringed, but it didn't translate into questions of whether the guy could do his job.