The only movie reviews you need

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Despite its obvious flaws I quite
enjoyed last year’s ‘The Shallows,’ a movie about a cat-and-mouse game between
a Great White Predator and Blake Lively’s hapless surfer-in-peril (reviewed
here: Blake Lively kicks Shark Butt), so when the new Jaws-inspired movie ’47 Meters Down’ came under my
radar I just knew I had to see it.One blurb
even called it “the best shark film since Jaws,” so you’ll have to forgive me
for jumping the shark, I mean into my local mega-plex to see it the first
change I got.

The basic plot of 47MD is bloodily
simple.Easy-on-the-eyes siblings Kate
and Lisa (Aussie actress Claire Holt and singer/actress Mandy Moore) go on
vacay in Mexico to help the latter get over her recent
separation with her boyfriend, who had the gall to break up with her because he considered her “boring.”Needing to send her ex-BF
a “FU, you don’t know what you’re missing” and reasoning that “I’ll be enclosed in
a sturdy steel cage and people did it all the time, so what could possibly go wrong?", Lisa (who does seem to be a tame
and risk-averse gal in the movie) threw caution into the wind and reluctantly
allowed her wilder and more spontaneous little sis Kate to talk her into going on a cage dive in shark-infested waters after
a couple of local young eligible bachelors they met at a bar the previous night suggested it.What could possibly go wrong?The law of “Murphy” of course.

I was disappointed.After sitting through a third of the movie
following the sisters around with all their girl-talk and issues before they become shark bait, the big payoff I expected never
materialized.Unlike ‘The Shallows,’ the
tension and suspense failed to build-up to a level that kept me at the edge of
my seat, and the sense of danger and peril were sorely lacking in this
film.47MD may be more realistic in its
depiction of real-life shark encounters wherein a survivor lived to tell the
Shark tale, but sometimes movies have to ratchet it up a few notches and
over-dramatize things to keep us interested even if every marine biologist
tells us that sharks aren’t the aggressive, human-chomping monsters pop culture
made them out to be.Even the original
‘Jaws’ went pretty far, right?And I
was shaking my head in utter disbelief when I saw the (spoiler ahead) faux ending sequence in which Lisa fought off
tooth-and-nail the shark that had her firmly in its grips by ripping one of its
eyes out, but then I read this hard-to-believe story: How to Survive a Shark Attack.Regardless, I still liked the badass, don’t
mess with Blake Lively ending of ‘The Shallows’ much better.Sorry, reality is just soooo boring.

I admit I am a bit of a sucker for
low-budget indie horror and have, as you might expect, seen my share of both good ones and bad.For every ‘Paranormal
Activity’ and ‘Get Out,’ there is an ‘As Above, So Below’ and ‘Ouija.’There are movies that were critically maligned
that I somehow enjoyed, such as the unabashedly exploitative ‘The Purge,’ and ones that critics raved about
that I thought aren't very good, like the highly overrated ‘It Follows.’The latest such movie to get a wide release
is A24’s ‘It Comes at Night’ which falls somewhere in between being just so-so.

‘It Comes at Night’ (don't ask me what comes at night because I still can't figure it out) can best be
characterized as post-apocalyptic survival psychological suspense horror (now
that’s a mouthful).A family of three comprising
of a father, mother and their teenage son (played by Joel Edgerton, Carmen
Ejogo and Kelvin Harrison Jr.) live in a secluded house in the woods of
an unspecified location in America.A plague or disease of unknown origin has ravaged
the world outside, and the characters’ (and by extension the audience’s)
situation awareness is so limited that all we know is what’s happening in the "here and
now. " When another family of three
including a little boy seeks their aid and appeals to their humanity for
shelter, they agree to take in the family for mutual support and companionship.
However, even sympathetic gestures such as this can lead to
tragedy and disaster in the end.

While this glacially paced movie is
fairly well written and solidly acted, it is not an easy film to watch.Not only is ‘It Comes at Night’ bleak,
depressing and devoid of hope even by post-apocalyptic standards, its dark and
tragic ending defies Hollywood conventions and leaves a bitter taste in our
mouths. Be forewarned. All ye who enter this movie
abandon hope because there is none to be found.

Universal Studio’s much
ballyhooed “Dark Universe” appeared to be off to an inauspicious start in
producer/director Alex Kurtzman’s ‘The Mummy,’ the latest incarnation (or is it
reincarnation) of one of Hollywood’s classic monsters harking back to the days
of Boris Karloff.Lambasted by critics
and shunned by moviegoers, ‘The Mummy’ bombed with a disappointing domestic
take of $32 million on opening week and suffered a steep 60 percent drop over
the past weekend.The final nail seems
to have been driven into the $125 million dollar movie’s coffin before you can ask
“What the hell happened?”Well, something
funny, that’s what. With the savvy Tom
Cruise at the helm, ‘The Mummy’ proved to be a mega-blockbuster hit overseas, particularly
in China.The film has now grossed nearly
$240 million worldwide, of which less than $50 million came out of the North
American market. Just let that sink in for a minute.What would Hollywood do without the Chinese?

The critics are right
though.The story (credited to Kurtzman,
Jon Spaihts and Jenny Lumet) is pretty
bad.Cruise plays Nick Morton, a sleazy ex-Special
Forces sergeant and shameless tomb raider who had no qualms selling priceless
artifacts that belong in museums on the black market for personal gain.When he accidentally awakened the mummy of Ahmanet
(Sofia Boutella), an Egyptian princess who sold her soul to Set and murdered
her own family for the throne but was thwarted in her quest to become queen of
Egypt, Morton must draw upon every ounce of his wits and ability in order to
prevent worldwide catastrophe with the help of archeologist and out of central casting cookie-cutter blond
sidekick Jenny Halsey (Anabelle Wallis).

The main problem with ‘The Mummy’
isn’t that it’s unwatchable.The problem
is that it cannot be judged on its own merits without comparing it to the
1999 version directed by Stephen Sommers starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz
and John Hannah.While that movie was no
masterpiece by any stretch, it was fun and the perfect Indiana Jones-inspired
popcorn flick. By contrast, this latest
is a weak effort that’s a sloppy slapdash mish mash of various influences, and
the film suffered for it stylistically and tonally. I mean, Dr.
Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, really?Also,
Cruise and Wallis lacked the sheer on-screen chemistry of Frasier and Weisz.If anything, this film brings to mind another
expensive and messy failure, 'Van Helsing,' whose director happened to be the same
guy who directed the 1999 version.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Superhero moviedom gets a good
dose of “Girl Power” in DC Extended Universe’s ‘Wonder Woman,’ director Patty
Jenkin’s highly anticipated and “trail-blazing” film featuring a superheroine
in a genre overrepresented by men (just ask yourself, how many such movies end
with the suffix “Man”?).Much
hand-wringing and no small amount of feminist drama, including a controversy
over WW’s shaved armpit (hairy armpit "controversy"), preceded the
movie’s release as Hollywood held its collective breath to see if the world is
finally ready to embrace and, more importantly, financially reward a movie with
a female headliner.

Having made more than $100
million over its first weekend in North America and twice that globally, we can
all now breathe a sigh of relief.Not
that there’s really any doubt, since WW was well-received and a
bright spot in 2016’s ‘Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice’ (reviewed here: Bats vs Supes: Dawn of Justice),
her very first appearance in the DCEU.Israeli stunner "what a Gal!" Gadot was nothing less than gorgeous as the
Amazonian Goddess Diana Prince, the greatest warrior princess on an invisible island full
of Xenas.After British pilot and spy Steve
Trevor (Chris Pine) unwelcomely crash lands on her secluded island
paradise, she joins him and embarks on a mission outside her sheltered world to
stop Ares (as in the God of War) and put an end to man’s greatest folly, which
happens to be World War I at the time.

Relying on familiar storytelling tropes
such as the opening scene in which an old war photograph from Bruce Wayne
triggers her story via flashback, WW’s origin is a nostalgic affair reminiscent
of the story of another idealistic red, white and blue-clad do-gooder who
fought Germans during the last century in ‘Captain America: The First Avenger.’Partly set in London during the early 20th Century, WW also provides some levity in the way of a British comedy of manners. And even though Zack Snyder stepped aside as director this time his influence is still evident, like the 300-esque visual style and jerky slow motion action scenes throughout the movie.