A young woman trying to grow in the Lord.

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When I was about eighteen or seventeen I had a vison of myself standing in a desert. My hair was extremely short, and brown. I’m wearing a sundress. And I’m all alone.
At the time I thought it meant that one day I would one day return to my favorite place, the American southwest. I took the vision at face value. It gave me hope. Sometimes God has given me glimpses of the future. Sometimes it’s just a moment, a sentence, a beautiful flower, a person, or a future version of myself.

This week I cut most of my hair off. When I was at work the Lord brought this vison back to me. To be honest it had been a long time since I had even thought about it. I realized that I had that haircut, glasses, and that sundress that I’m wearing in the vision is hanging in my closet. It took my breath away. I had been in seriously prayer about where the Lord wanted me to be. I immediately thought that I should book a plane ticket. Now, it was time to go on a mission trip. I knew where I should go or did I?

It didn’t feel right. I didn’t have a God feeling about it. I began to seek what God meant. How could I get to this desert? Because I wanted to be there more than anything? And do you know what He said to me?

Write yourself there.

What? What does that mean? How on earth do I write myself there? Is this an idea for a fiction novel? Will my writing lead me to the desert?

Then I saw this blog.

This is where I will start this journey. Maybe I will physically end up in the desert. Maybe I’m in a spiritual desert because I haven’t been walking as close to God as I should. Maybe I’m in a desert and God’s saying it’s time to come out. Maybe I will be starting a whole new section of my life. The truth is I don’t have a clear-cut idea what this vision means now.

Rarely do I hear from God so clearly. But He has spoken to me and I will obey. Come along with me on this journey.

In my free time I’ve been making backgrounds for my phone. I thought I would share them in case any one was interested.

I know that the world seems upside down right now, I feel it too. In these times we need to stay focused on God. I need to hear this just as much as you do. God bless you all during these difficult times.

We all know what is good but what is goodto God? I’m not sure that I can answer this question fully at this time. I don’t know enough to feel confidently that I have the full truth. I do have a better idea of what it means than I did a year ago and I want to share.

I think most people would define good simply as health, wealth, and status. All these thing can be good but what happens when you don’t have these things. Maybe these good things have been stripped from you.

Did God take away these blessings from you because He is angry with you? Maybe but maybe not.

It’s simplistic to think that having health, wealth, and status is the only ways that God can bless you. I know that God has our ultimate good in mind for those that love Him. He has the long term in mind not just the short term in mind.

There are lessons that we can only learn by going through life. Life is messy. There aren’t always easy answers. What makes God’s definition of good so different from us is how personally He views goodness. For God everyone’s good life looks different. I think we understand this on one hand but not on the other. We don’t apply this as fully as God does. He has crafted a life for each of us and it may not be as different from the one we are living now as we might hope.

“These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” -1 Peter 1:7 (NIV)

Good to God is you being healed from past hurts.

Good to God is you being able to be all He intended you to be. Whether others understand it or not.

Good to God is you having the ability to hear His voice.

Great to God is you loving Him no matter what situations you find yourself in.

“And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.”-Romans 8:11

God cares more for your spiritual well being than your earthly comfort. He cares that you believe and trust Him. That you are able to hold onto His peace.I wonder if sometimes when I am praying for peace if God isn’t just waiting for me to accept what He has already given me. If I could just accept that my life will never be perfect. If I could stop walking into a room and only seeing what’s wrong with it. Yes, see the problems but also have enough hope that they could be solved one day.

If I could hold onto my faith that God is in control. Then I wouldn’t worry so much. As much as we want to believe that we are in control, we aren’t. So much of our lives depend on things outside of us.

And if I could love people half as much as He loves me than I know I could make a real difference.

God cares about your decisions because He cares about the internal process. He cares about how you treat others because He cares about how you see yourself and others. It’s so much more about the internal than the external.

I hope that this will help us to all keep our heads up during this difficult time. Remember that God is with you and for you.

I don’t feel that I have any more advice about dealing with COVID-19. In fact I’ve hear too much about it. One day this will only be a memory. A page in history. Make sure that you can live with your actions.

While I don’t have advice I do have hope.

If God could create the whole word including the beauty that is light, then He must be a God that pays attention to details. I for one have noticed how the light comes into my home since I’ve spent more time in it. The way it changes everything.

He knew that all this would happen.

Christ has overcome this world! In Christ we have victory! No need to worry and fret! That doesn’t mean that there won’t be problems. No sometimes it means that we will go through more problems.

When we are Christians we get to go through those times with Christ through the Holy Spirit. We have help, a comforter better than anything the world can offer. Sometimes I just smile thinking about it. I have peace not because of what is going on around me but because of what I have inside me.

These are the times that the simplest thing can make a difference. A phone call or text to a friend that are on their own means more. Sharing food and supplies, running errands for those who can’t, and being kind. There are many ways to help.

Praying for one another, and remaining focused on God will help us all get through this time.

I’ve been trying to figure out why I struggled with my faith in 2019. I don’t have a good reason or rather I’ve found that my reason is silly. Sometimes things change in your life because of specific circumstances. Sometimes it’s because of multiple interconnecting issues. Then there are times when we just over complicate the simple.

2019 wasn’t a year when I saw much change in my life. I didn’t move. I didn’t change jobs. About the only thing that I changed was my hair color, lots. Much of what caused me to reexamine my faith this year was the lack of change. There were times when I prepared for big changes only to find the same cycles repeating themselves. I felt stuck.

I couldn’t afford a vacation. In fact I got sick in the middle of our short Canadian summer.

I was able to see specialist and rule out MS but I still don’t know why I have migraines. Don’t know why I have widespread pain. I’m on some new medication that is helping which is good.

I did see some good changes at my job. I’m incredibly grateful for the less stressful environment that I work in.

I guess my expectations stopped me from seeing the good in my life again.

When I lost sight of God in the little moments of life I became depressed. I thought that life was about bigger and better things than those little moments. I thought it was about job promotions and big moves. The truth is that we don’t get to those big moments without the little ones.

Being faithful to God starts with daily obedience. It starts with listening to what you feel God wants you to do. Then stepping out in faith and doing it. It can seem scary but as we continue to step out for the little things we will find those big moments aren’t quite the mountains that we originally thought they were.

“But Samuel replied:

“Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord?To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.”-1 SAMUEL 15:22(NIV)

For a long time I thought that if I was to sacrifice more God would do more through me. The truth I am finding is that He wants me to listen more.

This next year I feel will have changes but they are more internal changes. Smaller changes that may cause others to look at me like I’m crazy. What crazy is not being willing to change to become what God wants you to be?