Tuesday, October 2, 2012

My son likes to argue. He calls it debating. However, we
have explained to him over and over that debating is a discussion in which
reasons are advanced for and against some proposition or proposal. He on the
other hand does not discuss, he argues. It’s his way or no way. Our bet is that
he will either be a politician or a lawyer. We were even looking at a DVD from
when he was two years old. He and his sister were pulling laundry out of a
hamper and tossing it into the laundry room. While recording the event I told
him that he missed a couple pieces in the bottom of the hamper. At two years
old he looked at me straight in the eye and rattled off some jabbering which
was clearly him arguing even then! So it’s always been that way. As he’s gotten
older he pulls out what he considers facts & figures to back up his
position yet no source to back up this information he pulls out of thin air. At
times it is actually quite comical.

Besides the arguing he also has a habit of talking over people. Mostly us but
on occasion others as well. We have tried over and over to explain that he
cannot listen while he is talking. So instead of listening to someone he
instead is formulating what he wants to say and then will start talking over
the person before they have finished what they were saying. Because he is in a
Communications class at school this semester it seems like a prime opportunity
for him to hear from someone else besides us that he simply cannot listen while
talking. So I told him to ask his Communications teacher. He said he would,
however when I followed up with him last week he still had not done so. His
response, “I don’t need to because I know I’m right.” I told him to do some
research on his own then to find the answer to whether it is physically
possible to listen while you are talking. No response.

While this rages on with no clear conclusion in sight it does bring up some
very important points when you are engaged in an interview. From time to time
when following up with a client after interviewing a candidate the feedback is:

1. The candidate tried to control the conversation.
2. The candidate talked over me.
3. The candidate wouldn't let me finish my questions.
4. The candidate went on too long with their answers.
5. The candidate seemed preoccupied and not listening.

Sounds like my son was interviewing. These are very real pieces of feedback
I've received. And every time the candidate was not chosen for further
conversation. So active listening skills are indeed critical in an interview.
Thoughtful and to the point responses are critical to it being successful.
Knowing your role in an interview is also a critical key to a successful
interview. And being prepared with questions is another key piece.

Now taking each item one by one.

Active listening: The way to become a better listener is to practice
"active listening." This is where you make a conscious effort to hear
not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, try to
understand the complete message being sent.

Thoughtful and to the point responses: Be thorough in your responses but
be to the point. Don’t go on and on. You may need to ask a question to better
understand exactly what the interviewer wants to know by asking the question
you are responding to. This allows you to relay the relevant information they
seek.

Knowing your role: You are the one being interviewed. Absolutely you
should have questions prepared. That is expected. However present your
questions as appropriate. Never try to control the interview. Granted there are
interviewers that would rather not be interviewing but would rather be
attending to their work. And in these situations you may need to “guide” the
interview to an extent. But typically the interviewer will be guiding the
interview.

Be prepared with questions: While I touched on this already I can’t
stress this enough. Do your homework. Being prepared makes a statement that you
are interested. In addition your questions should allow you to extract
information from the interviewer that will allow you to provide pointed and
informational answers. Your questions will allow you to be in a better position
to interact beyond just the interview questions. Will allow you to learn what
is critical to them. What do they want to see in a person’s background. What
has allowed people to be successful in this role.

While my son doesn’t think I know what I’m talking about….rest assured this
information will indeed help you in an interview.