Wednesday, September 12, 2007

“Stop It! Because I Said So!” And Alternative Forms Of Discipline

Growing up, I would hear lots of “No’s!” without any explanations. I eventually started asking “Why?” but got that classic parent answer “Because I said so!” I hated that.Now that I’m in the parenting role, I’m taking a different approach - I’m making it a point giving reasons why.Actual scenarios when my daughter does something she shouldn’t:

Wife: Don’t stand so close to the TVMe: Move back! If you stand too close your eyes will burn from the radiation, and then you’ll never get into college and become a princess.

Wife: Don’t eat that!Me: Drop that! It could be bird poop and if you eat it you’ll turn into a bird and then you’ll never be able to eat Chicken nuggets without being called a cannibal. And nobody likes cannibals. Nobody!!

Wife: Don’t pull the dogs' tailMe: Stop that! He doesn’t like it when you pull his tail. He told me last night after you went to sleep.

Wife: Put that toy back, it’s time to goMe: That toy has lead in it; if you hold it too long you’ll grow a third arm. And trust me, you’ll have no control over it.

Wife: Get in your car seat so we can goMe: If you don’t sit in your car seat the police will arrest mommy and then you won’t have a mommy anymore. You do want a mommy, right?

Somehow I can just imagine when she has kids she'll probably tell them "Because I said so!"...

Wow that sounds like me. My middle child freaks out when I tell the youngest that I'm gonna call the police man if she doesn't get in the carseat. She says she likes her sister and doesn't want them to take her.

I once told them not to stare at the microwave or their burn their eyes. So now they dance in front of it when its one chanting "I'm gonna burn my eyes, I'm gonna burn my eyes..."

hee hee. I usually totally overexplain, but she does go along with it when I do, so it works. At the library, however, I kicked out three older kids last night with a "because I said so." Well, honestly, they knew perfectly well what they were up to and why they shouldn't have been. I just get sick of the pointless arguing and stalling sometimes.

I think giving a reason is so good. I do that most of the time, but at the same time, lately we have had an all day long struggle as our oldest in a very "fun" stage. So sometimes I find myself repeating that line I used to abhor, "because I said so." On one hand I don't like that, but on the other hand the boy needs to understand that I am in charge and that my wife and I make the laws in our household. So when we speak, ya gotta listen.

As far as brushing teeth goes, I always get him to do it by saying, "you're teeth will fall out if you don't brush them and they'll turn black." It's true even and it gets him to do it. And then unfortunately he asks me to open up my mouth where my managerie of cavities reside...

Oh you're killing me! I have to admit I too come up with some whack job of explaining things to the kids too. How about this one, they love to eat kimchee (they are half Koreans after all) and it's really spicy, so I said "your bum will hurt when you go poop" and the 7 y/o actually said that one time at dinner table to my 2.5 y/o daughter. Too funny!!

LMAO!! These are great and I can totally relate. I am always giving my daughter such exaggerated reasons and it works. She can't argue with them, especially when most of the end with "and you wouldn't want mommy to spend hours wollowing in her Catholic guilt."

Yeah I used to do this... until it started to backfire on me. CJ, awake in bed, afraid of jail (he'd pocketed a lollypop at the corner store, and I told him about jail...) now I just say BECAUSE I SAID SO... much less likely to lead me to trouble.

I love it! I am glad I am not the only one. When my kids ask me why they can't scream in the car, I tell them, "If you scream in the car, mommy will get in a car accident and your head will fall off." Now when one starts screaming, another one always pipes in, "NO NO Your head will fall off!"

Just last night my children and I were at a community dance, without my husband. Looking for someone to dance with, I told my soon to be ten year old son he was required to dance with me.

"Why?" he whined.

"Because, my dear, it is the price you pay for my having spent 12 hours labouring to squeeze you out of my vagina. You will be forever required to squire your mother around the dance floor until I'm too crippled to dance."

He couldn't argue with me. But my neighbours who overheard the whole conversation shot beer through their noses while laughing so hard.

OMG, this kills me, Bryan and I were just talking about this the other night! I am you and he is your wife.

Have you ever seen a really bad movie with Shelly Long and Steve Guttenberg called "Don't Tell Her It's Me?" It's a *supremely* stupid movie (so of course I love it) but Shelly Long's character spends the whole movie over-explaining consequences to her 1.5yo daughter. Things like, "If you touch that heating coil, your nailbeds will turn cherry red from carbon monoxide poisoning and you could die!"

For a while, we were joking with our kids that we were going to have to sell them. "Wow, the grocery bill was really high. We're going to have to sell one of you." or "WOw, the price of gas has really gone up again, we're going to have to sell one of you." Zed thinks it's hilarious. I thought Elle believed it was a joke. Until she started crying that she didn't want to be sold. Ooops. Therapy time.