Life, Leadership and Business

Friday, 26 August 2016

AVOID being a NEEDY Leader

Leader is almost synonymous with Role Model. People look to
Leaders to set an example, to lead the way. People draw strength and
encouragement from leaders. So, the pressure is on the Leader to be reliable, consistent
and to act with integrity. Imagine the
devastation and harm a needy leader could cause.

When a leader decides that their own worth and value is
based on the position they hold, they quickly descend into a dark place that
makes leadership ugly. Manipulative, controlling and praise-seeking become
hallmarks of a needy leader. Even good people walk on a slippery slope that could
take them into the role of a needy leader. So, how does a well-meaning leader avoid
becoming needy?

In order to understand the process of turning a good leader
into a needy tyrant, let’s look into the mind of an already needy leader: Needy
Leaders often classify the people that surround them into two categories –
Victims or Persecutors. When a leader sees people as a victim, they feed their
own desire to rescue the person. Boldly stating the problem or pointing out the
persecutor, the lost leader will attempt to resolve the issue on behalf of
their hapless follower, thus becoming the “Rescuer”.

The needy leader becomes a “fixer” or “the problem solver”
to the victim. The persecutor bears the brunt of the needy leader’s anger, as they
are seen as the source of the leaders or the victim’s issues, problems and
burdens. The needy leader will blame and accuse the persecutor openly and often
publicly. The leader becomes a “defender” against the antagonistic persecutor.

Please understand, this “role play” is in the mind of the
leader. This “drama triangle” between the three positions – Victim, Persecutor
and Rescuer/Defender – is maintained by the needy leader with clever
manipulative strategy and supported by dependent, co-dependent and independent
personality types. The needy leader with a low self worth assumes the role of
the co-dependent – needs to be needed.

How can you recognise a co-dependent or needy leader when
dealing with a “victim”?

This leader will say things like:

·“I know what you problem is, and will fix it for
you?”

·“I was good at solving your last problem”

·“Do you need me to help you?”

·“You will always need me to ....”

This leader will do things like:

·Take responsibility for solving your problems

·Take praise for solving your problems

·Blame your lack of commitment if the problem is
not solved

·Let you and other know how they rescued you

·Keep reminding you they were the ones that
inspired and influenced you

·Seek praise and appreciation for the good work they
did in your life and the lives of others

·Keep their sources of information a secret

·Keep their strategy a secret

How can you recognise a co-dependent or needy leader when
dealing with a “persecutor”?

Needy leaders will:

·Blame and point fingers at the persecutor for
all failures and problems

·Blame persecutor for not being a team player

·Manoeuvre the persecutor out of positions of influence
without confronting or dealing with the real perceived problem

·Complain to others behind the persecutor’s back

·Link the persecutor to any conspiracies or lack
of loyalty amongst the team

Other ways to spot a co-dependent leader:

·Looks to receive praise for work well done

·Like to blame others for work poorly done

·Make excuses for failures instead of learning
from them

·Looks to receive the recognition for success

·Easily forget to thank others for their
contribution

·Are intimidated by skilled people for fear of
losing their position

·Are afraid of technology to streamline the
process for fear of becoming redundant

·Will either not delegate at all, or dump all the
responsibility without assigning authority

·Don’t like to share the limelight with anyone
else

·Are focused on controlling rather than
empowering

·Become the obstacle to the teams growth – but don’t
recognise it

·Control the team by rules rather than by
processes

·Will threaten rather than inspire

·Want to be the hero in the rescue story, and not
the secret advisor in someone’s success

·Want to be the sole inspiration to the team

·Keeps resources a secret

The true danger for any leader is failing to spot these symptoms
within themselves. Pointing fingers elsewhere to avoid taking ownership of the
issues within is fatal. Self development and self improvement is
key to the growth of a leader, and knowing yourself better than others know you
is valuable to spotting symptoms of rot in your own leadership style. Notice
it, acknowledge it, Change it, Test it and grow - are the steps to healthy
leadership. Be a healthy leader.

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