Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Deep Thoughts with Forrest #8

Forrest: Do you know who is pwettier than you, Mama?Me: Forrest: Jasmine. She is vewwy pwettier than you.Me:

At church, Forrest was staring at the family seated in front of us, particularly the dad holding their (totally normal looking) baby boy.Forrest: (in a very loud stage whisper) That baby is CREEPY.Dad in front of us overhears, of course, and turns around.Forrest: (directed to the dad, whispered even louder than before) It’s because of his creepy face. He has a really creepy face.

Forrest talks very loudly (and yes, we’ve had his hearing checked), and I’m sorry to say I get frustrated with his constant very loud chatter.Me: (annoyed when he shouted something right in my face) Why do you shout everything all the time?!Forrest: Because I’m really excited about everything!

I found a huge pile of waffle pieces and crumbs right next to the kitchen sink, where I think Forrest had tried to dump his breakfast leftovers into the sink and missed.Me: Forrest, what’s this mess?Forrest: Oh, that? That’s all my breakfast.Me: Yes, I can see that. Clean it up.Forrest: Oh really? Huh. I left it there because I thought you would probably like to clean it up.Me: Forrest: Because of how you’re really good at cleaning. All by yourself.

After polishing off a bowl of yogurt.Forrest: I need more yogurt!Me: Okay, just a second . . . (finishes folding laundry)10 minutes laterForrest: I need yogurt!Me: Right, hang on . . . (responds to a few emails and gets distracted by pinterest)10 minutes laterForrest: I need more yogurt please!Me: Oh, ok, yes . . . (refills Darcy’s juice and gets her a snack, washes a few dishes, then finally hands Forrest a full bowl of yogurt probably 25 minutes, minimum, after his first yogurt request)Forrest: Oh boy, thanks! That was very quickly!

Sitting next to me on the couch, he accidentally rubbed his hand against my bare leg.Forrest: Whoa!! Those are some sharp legs!

My mom let Forrest bring home a Jasmine toy from her house, which he keeps forgetting to return to her. Every time we go to her house now, he asks if he can bring home another toy.Me: You can’t borrow another toy from Grandma’s house until you bring back the one you already borrowed.Forrest:(indignant) I was not borrowing a toy!!!Me: Yes, you took the Jasmine doll, remember?Forrest: I was not borrowing her! I was taking her and keeping her!!!

We got a Costco membership recently and now Forrest is obsessed with samples. He likes his food cut into ‘sample bites,’ and loves offering samples around the table.Forrest: (holding out a plate full of random toys) Do you want a sample? It is hot noodles!Me: Yum. How did you make it?Forrest: I used sugar, and ketchup slices, and sugar, and shark nuts.