All observations made at bigfuck.blogspot.com are entirely fictional. Some characters may be real, but you can assume they are fictional as well. The views expressed here do not reflect the opinions of the author, or anyone at all. If you are upset by anything you read here, please do not sue us. Instead, you can send email, and we can go Geylang Lorong 1 and settle (parangs optional).

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Nothing to say today, so I decided to post a shitload of pictures. I was going to write some random entry about my life, but then I figured it would be much more fun to show you random pictures. Ready? Let's go!

For the record, let me post a picture of my flatmate. Let the records show that I live with a pretty girl:

Yes, that's me putting out a cigarette. No, I don't smoke any more. I quit already. Yes, I still get cravings. Bloody hell, what do you expect, right? You think I woke up one day and said, 'ok, smoking sucks, fuck it' and then stopped smoking? No. Smoking is damn hard to quit. Some mornings I wake up, thinking, 'if I just smoked one today, it would be ok.'

No, it wouldn't. I would be addicted again. Fuck.

Here are pictures of me smoking, in which you will see how smoking makes you less handsome. The first picture is me saying, 'hey, lungs, fuck you. I fucking hate you, lungs.'

Notice how I look less handsome than usual. This is my opinion. I am very clever. Thus, I am right. Here is me saying, 'hey, lungs, suck this, bitches'

Notice my hair is long in these pictures. This is because I was a smoker. You might be saying, 'there is no logic to that' but there is. Everything bad about me when I was smoking was because I was a smoker. Now everything good that happens to me is because I quit smoking. Don't contradict me, or I'll start smoking again, and you will go to hell for tempting me, you bastard.

Some of you might know that I worked at a childrens' home in Tokyo over the summer. Here's a picture from our trip to Mt. Fuji:

If you're observant, you'll notice that I still have long hair in this picture. Somehow, though, I look less ugly. Maybe it's because the wind is blowing my hair and it looks cool. Maybe it's because you can't see my face. Whatever. That girl facing the camera? That's Nene-chan. I know, funny name. They're Japanese; deal with it. Anyway, she's the cutest little girl in the world. Here's a picture of her and Emi-chan:

Those little kids were ridiculously cute. I feel bad for not writing to them more often; I hope they don't think I've forgotten them. Sometimes, I tell my friends that I like working with kids. My friends assume that I'm a pedophile, because for some strange reason, my friends think I am a bad person. I blame this on cigarettes. Fucking cigarettes. I would gush more about how beautiful these children were, and how much my life was changed by working with them, but none of you are here to read mushy shit. To compensate, I will type "fuck" ten times:

Fuck, fuck fuck, fuckfuckfuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck.

Ok, maybe 11, but nobody's counting.

This is a picture from one of my Japan trips, just for the fuck of it:

I think this is in Nara or Kyoto; I forget where. Anyway, my friend was pissed off that I kept stopping to take photos, and was very reluctant to take photos of me. Thus, I have, like, maybe two photos of me in these cities, and they both look like shit. Damn it, you travel and travel, and the least you could have is a fucking picture of you in some random street, right? Is that too much to ask? Fuck.

Fortunately, my photoshop skills are damn good.

Let the record state that my finger was in Japan. Yeah, that's right. I'd have edited myself into the photo but hey man, I'm fucking lazy.

Alright, it's late. Sleepy time.

Thanks for looking at my random pictures. I would say something like, 'I hope you enjoyed them' but hey, whatever.

Plus you get to say real cool one-liners when you're a smoker. For example, when they came to give Hep-B immunisation jabs in my school and a friend asked me if I wanted to go, I replied with this immortal phrase. "Don't want lah. Cancer limpeh also not scared, I will scared Hep-B?">=) >=) >=)

aq: get thee behind me, marlboro! i walk the path of righteousness! but as far as one-liners, mine used to be, 'you know what'll be sweet?' and my friend would go 'what' and i'd go 'if i don't die of cancer, that'd be pretty sweet.'

suggarrush: i got many different sides, ok. you just never see yet.

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