Tag: writing journey

My family used to play a game, “Five Reasons Why You Love Me…Go!”. It’s pretty much what the title is. One person would spring the question onto another unexpectedly, and the other would have to answer as quickly as possible. And, while this was silly and fun, it totally overlooked a more important question that gets right to the heart of self-love. “Five Reasons You Love Yourself.”

For Christmas, my son asked me what I wanted, and I took that opportunity to turn the game around. I asked him for five things he loved about himself. On Christmas day, I received that gift and it was probably the most precious gift I have ever received. And I couldn’t have been more proud and in agreement of his five choices.

This task was a little more difficult for me. Before I began my self-love journey, I truly hated myself. There was nothing in me that I loved. One of the first books I read that lead me onto this path asked that question. It asked me to take a pencil and paper and write down things about myself that I loved. Titles such as Mom, Writer, Accountant, etc. were not allowed, and compliments that others had given were also not allowed unless I truly felt them for myself. When I read that, it took me a full two days to come up with even one thing. Honesty. I am an honest person, and I love that about myself. But after that one, I gave up. It was truly too hard to come up with anything I loved about myself. At Christmas time, I had to endure a situation that, for other’s privacy reasons, I cannot disclose. In that moment, I realized the amount of strength that this little woman has. And that brought two qualities to my list: honesty and strength. Until today, I had stopped there.

It’s funny how right at this moment, I am getting ready to try and think of three more qualities I love, yet I am contemplating whether or not to post them here. Why is it that society makes it so uncomfortable for us to love ourselves? I feel as though posting what I love about myself will make me appear full of myself, conceited, etc. But that is so far from the truth. I am simply learning to love me, and how can I do that without searching for something in me that I love? So here goes. And honestly, I am so much further than I was a few months ago, so I actually think I may be able to get through all five. From above: honesty and strength. Three more are: 3) Love. A while ago, I felt I had no love to give…to myself or anyone. My heart felt as though it were gray, ashy and lifeless. I finally feel it is filling with love to give once again. 4) Sharing. While I am working on not throwing unsolicited advice out the way I used to, I still love the fact that when I learn something that is life-changing, I am willing to share…kinda like I am right now 😉

I’m going to stop at four for now. Getting to four was actually pretty lengthy in time/difficult to figure out. But I am so excited that I went from none to four. I am moving along nicely and it feels good. Perhaps I will address this topic again in a few months. Hopefully I will even be past five by that point.

Oh Wait! I have number five 🙂 I absolutely love that I check in with me. A few times every day, I check in with where I’m at and what I’m doing. I ask myself if I like what I’m doing and what I can do to make myself happier in that moment. So, number 5 is that I look out for me; I show myself on a daily basis that I love me and have my best interest in mind…always. And while this may appear to be a quality that is quite selfish, I’m pretty sure that it is this quality that has helped me open my heart up to loving others once again.

I never used to check in with myself; never asked myself what I liked about me. It’s almost normal in our society to not appreciate ourselves and just hope that self-worth will come in the form of acceptance and compliments from others. What a sad world that is. So now, I pass this assignment on to you. Take a moment and list five qualities that you love about you. If you don’t make it to five today, that’s okay. Keep working your self-love practices and your answers will come.

Today’s act of self-love: You just read it!

Until my next post, much love to everyone!

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About…friends. For the majority of my life, I have been very limited in the friend department. For one reason or another, I just could never “vibe” with many people. And talking with people simply exhausted me. Introvert in the highest degree, is how I would have described myself. But then I learned a few things over the past few years as I was trying to find myself and feeling quite lonely.

If you are with people who are not in alignment with you, your beliefs, your desires, etc., you will likely feel exhausted after being with them for a bit. It takes effort to keep a conversation going with someone who is not on your same page. If they are guiding the conversation, it is likely that what they are interested in is boring or maybe even offensive to you. If you are guiding the conversation, they are likely not interested in your topic and it is probably showing in one way or another in their body language. So then each of you transition to the other person’s interests and it’s then like trying to run in waist-high water…a pure struggle that gets nowhere fast.

If you are with people who are in alignment with you, your beliefs, your desires, etc., you will literally feel energized after being with them for a bit. In fact, you will really want to stay with them longer!

I’m not sure where I learned 1 and 2 above, I just remember an article or video that asked me to pay attention to how I felt after interactions with people. It said that if I did that, I would learn who I should really spend my time with.

I also learned the term of “Attracting your Tribe”. Same concept as above, but putting it out to the universe that you want to meet new people who are like, well, whatever you’re looking for. I did just that. And my “tribe” came to me in two different ways. The first was quite eerie and fully follows the “ask the universe and you will receive” concept. Soon after thinking that I wanted to meet people that were like me, an acquaintance I met through my husband had reached out to me and thought I would fit well into her women’s group that she had started. Instantly, I met women who had deep connections with themselves and were open to sharing their life experiences and dreams. We took part in real conversations. From this group, I have made two wonderful friends that I feel energized with any time we meet up. The second was me physically trying to attract my tribe by creating a vegan-group which has grown over the year…not only in the number of people in our group, but in the closeness that we have grown with each other.

Incase any of my other longer-term friends are reading this, of course you know I absolutely love you and am always energized to speak, text, and FaceBook with you…but you all live so friggin’ far away I had to make some new, meaningful connections and I am so very happy that I did.

Spending time with people that you love and who love you back is a large part of self-love. It just feels good and allows you to continue to grow on multiple levels.

Today’s act of self-love: Meeting up with a good friend for coffee ♥♥♥

Until my next post, much love to everyone!

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