You poor thing. This is indeed a serious problem.... I'll have to search through all my books, consult my familiar spirits, and do a lot of trance work to find the answer for you. It shouldn't take more than three or four days.

In the meantime, whatever you do, don't pee."

Or have sex.

PS: If this is for real, then get thee to a doctor.

Logged

just like in a dreamyou'll open your mouth to screamand you won't make a sound

There is this woman I know who has tried messing me about by not returning something that belongs to me. It was a deal that went bad. I am sorely tempted to use magical operations to get said thing returned to me and maybe to show her a little lesson in respect and honesty.

What do you think?

Logged

"Time for the tin-foil hats, girls and boys!"

B23.77

In a similar incident, a woman I used to work with borrowed 85 dollars from me one day when I was drinking with her and appears to have no intention of paying it back. How would I go about using magic to get the money back and/or turn her into a goon? Any ideas?

In a similar incident, a woman I used to work with borrowed 85 dollars from me one day when I was drinking with her and appears to have no intention of paying it back. How would I go about using magic to get the money back and/or turn her into a goon? Any ideas?

Are you familiar with the ways of magic? If not, I suggest you visit this site and send her an anonymous voodoo doll curse. But hurry, because they're going out of business on the 31st. http://www.pinstruck.com/

If you do know about magic, then send her bad dreams until she pays up. I'll be happy to haunt her dreams as queen of the zombies and terrorize her for you:

Logged

just like in a dreamyou'll open your mouth to screamand you won't make a sound

an Afrikan voodoo witch doctor has threatened to make my penis disapear if i don't pay him 37 million dollars by next equinox. see your guestbook od doom for mroe details. help!

Wow! That was quite a sad story you left in my guest book of doom Just shocking that he would make a such a horrible threat against your privates. I suggest two possible courses of action, Horab.

1. First, go out and purchase for yourself the best chastity belt that money can buy. Wear it at all times. Give the key to a trusted female to keep, as she has no penis for the witchdoctor to threaten - hence she will be immune to his extortion tactics.

2. Immediately set up a printing press and whip up 37,000,000 tons of flax script in the basement of your home. Bury the witchdoctor under this shitload of money and go on about your business.

Logged

just like in a dreamyou'll open your mouth to screamand you won't make a sound

Coito ergo sumO! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon. --Comedian Chris Rock

Gasp! I have that same book sitting here in front of me right now, Malaul.I've been studying it - looking for weak spots and suggest you do the same. Take his book.....hide it and read it in secret.

I also suggest you watch the BF carefully......watch him from the corners of your eyes, so he doesn't notice. Move your stash of fresh body parts out of the frige and wipe the graveyard mud from your feet before entering the house, etc. Hyper-vigilance is the key word.

If all else fails......well you are an assassin, dear one, and wouldn't he be a lovely source of fresh parts?

Logged

just like in a dreamyou'll open your mouth to screamand you won't make a sound

read it in secret checkremove body partscheckfind meat map of human body to use as template on BFcheck

Logged

Coito ergo sumO! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon. --Comedian Chris Rock