A Few Bill Maher Quotes

A while back, one of my friends sent me some quotes from her Real Time with Bill Maher daily calendar. I share them now for your enjoyment.

To even win a nomination in this country, you have to say you’re a person of great faith. You have to pledge the people out there that you put your faith in things that are unable to be proven — that you suspend critical thinking as the way to go.

Now I’m sure you are all aware of what’s going on down in Alabama, where that judge insists of placing the monument of the Ten Commandments in his courthouse. The good news is the U.S. Supreme Court will not hear of keeping the Ten Commandments in the courthouse…. No, the Supreme Court was very clear. They said you cannot install a giant slab of granite in a state building unless its name is Arnold Schwarzenegger.

In New York, Catholic groups have forced an art gallery to shut down an exhibition of a six-foot image of Jesus in chocolate. So, the Archbishop of New York was very upset. He said, “It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.”

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t make you spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your ass, and it translate to “beef with broccoli.” The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant. You’re not spiritual. You’re just high.