Personal journey exploring mental illness and suicide

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Day 664

Carrying on from yesterday’s saga – the laptop with a lot of my life in it stopped working. Very hopefully, I took it to the local shop at 10.30 am. They said they would call me around 6 pm and tell me if they can fix it. That left me a full day without much to do. I had to stop and think why this was happening. What was the lesson in this for me?

Maybe the universe wants me to give myself a break, freeing myself from deadlines and compulsive writing. Maybe this is another exercise in letting go. May be this is a day given to me as a gift to do something different, something fun. May be I just surrender to what is and make the most of what I have – a sunny day off work in this case. Not a very common occurrence.

So, I did. I was tempted to start working on the I-pad, instead I got in the car with my parents and we drove to one of my favourite places a short scenic distance away from home – the Lavender fields.

The gorgeous colours, the hypnotising fragrance, the luminous sky, the playful sun, the open fresh air, the kids in colourful hats, the selfie takers and … just being there with the two people I cherish most, I felt immensely blessed. This is what I needed to do. Reclaim my life. Live it. In love and gratitude.