Monday, November 30, 2009

This blog was quiet on the one day when every other blog was not. Though the first thing that I wanted to do was write – I refrained. It causes me too much pain – to revisit the blood bath of those 3 days, recall the nightmare through the eyes of those who survived and relive the torture that the victims went through.

I’ve personally not come to terms with accepting 26/11 attack and I know I never will. Yes my life did go on normally maybe because I was not among the ones directly affected – I did not lose any loved ones in that attack and I was not present in Mumbai then. But every gory detail I saw on the television set those 3 days, left me a nervous heartbroken person from within. Helpless and hurt – almost a victim; cause in my capacity there was nothing I could have done to help reduce the mayhem caused on that Black Wednesday night in Mumbai. People at least took the streets to join in the candle night vigils and support the ones who sacrificed their lives in this attack – I was simply at home far away from my city and my country – helpless.

I know there are ways that I can help but I wonder how much of help would that be. The perpetrators of the crime are still living scot-free and the one man who is held captive, still awaits a ‘fair trial’ despite millions having seen him live in action on television and at the CST murdering millions. Yes, we are a great democratic country with a fine judiciary system. I cannot change it, nor have I tried to, so I won’t blame it. I’ll just be patient and wait, just as I’m still awaiting those numerous decisions on the bomb blasts that have shaken my city in the last 16 years.

People talk about her undying spirit, her indomitable soul. Earlier she was beaten and she was hurt but last year she was raped. Brutally raped by 10 cruel demons in full view seen by millions and yet none of us could save her. She has got back on her own feet – forgetting the scars. A rape is the worst crime of all and cannot be forgotten – not for the victim and yet my darling city has managed to do that - lift herself up and resume normality yet again. How she has managed to do it, I do not know, but I do hope she knows that we have not forgotten and we will never ever forget.

Every year, every day we remember her and the ones who died saving her. We don’t need an anniversary reminder to remember that pain – it is living within us every single day since it happened.

I pray for the victims and their families that they will someday be able to find the peace they have been longing for and in the effort we all will too.

My beloved Bombay, My Mumbai, you make me proud – for all that you have endured. One day I promise you will be proud of us – for I know we will somehow figure a way out to get our revenge, we will in some way or the other – all your kids will find that way out.

Minal, I know what you mean. At first I didn't want to write either. In fact on that day and the previous day I forced myself to write. I felt that maybe if I wrote I would feel better. Your pain is clear in the post and I share your pain. Mumbai is beloved to me too. Let us all just hold our heads high because we are Mumbaikars.

@Weasley: That's why I hope someday there will be no martyrs and we will find our way to get the revenge

@Nita: What you say is so true but you know what even writing is not helping. I guess that pain is something we all will live with for the rest of our lives but we will always be as you said proud Mumbaikars

@Swapna: Expect the politicians to do something? The same shameless ones are back in office waht can we expect? Nothing it's our own doing!

@Solilo: Who should we blame? Ourselves right - we voted or rather did not! I dunno I was shocked and just as those innumerable blasts cases remain unsolved this one will too - that is my biggest fear!

Life...

For someone who loves being organized and planned in advance, life has taught that one can have none of that how much ever one wants to:-)

I never wanted to live abroad, I tried every possible way to avoid it but now I've completed 3 years of expat life in Dubai.Mumbai, India- My city, my home, my heaven, my love, my lovely country, I don't know how I've survived these years away from you!

I'm trying to get back to my blog to write back about my life and my experiences and yes my thoughts!