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FOR the first three days after marriage, the girl and her husbandshouldsleep on the floor, abstain from sexual pleasures, and eat their foodwithout seasoning it either with alkali or salt. For the next sevendaysthey should bathe amidst tire sounds of auspicious musical instruments,should decorate themselves, dine together, and pay attention to theirrelations as well as to those who may have come to witness theirmarriage.

This is applicable to persons of all castes. On the night of the tenthdaythe man should begin in a lonely place with soft words, and thus createconfidence in the girl. Some authors say that for the purpose ofwinning herover he should not speak to her for three days, but the followers of Babhravya are of opinion that if the man does not speak with her forthreedays, the girl may be discouraged by seeing him spiritless like apillar,and, becoming dejected, she may begin to despise him as a eunuch.Vatsyayanasays that the man should begin to win her over, and to createconfidence inher, but should abstain at first from sexual pleasures. Women, being ofatender nature, want tender beginnings, and when they are forciblyapproachedby men with whom they are but slightly acquainted, they sometimessuddenlybecome haters of sexual connection, and sometimes even haters of themalesex. The man should therefore approach the girl according to herliking, andshould make use of those devices by which he may be able to establishhimself more and more into her confidence. These devices are asfollows:

He should embrace her first of all in a way she likes most, because itdoesnot last for a long time.

He should embrace her with the upper part of his body because that iseasierand simpler. If the girl is grown up, or if the man has known her forsometime, he may embrace her by the light of a lamp, but if he is not wellacquainted with her, or if she is a young girl, he should then embraceherin darkness.

When the girl accepts the embrace, the man should put a tambula orscrew ofbetel nut and betel leaves in her mouth, and if she will not take it,heshould induce her to do so by conciliatory words, entreaties, oaths,andkneeling at her feet, for it is a universal rule that however bashfulorangry a woman may be she never disregards a man's kneeling at her feet.Atthe time of giving this tambula he should kiss her mouth softly andgracefully without making any sound. When she is gained over in thisrespecthe should then make her talk, and so that she may be induced to talk heshould ask her questions about things of which he knows or pretends toknownothing, and which can be answered in a few words. If she does notspeak tohim, he should not frighten her, but should ask her the same thingagain andagain in a conciliatory manner. If she does not then speak he shouldurgeher to give a reply because, as Ghotakamukha says, 'all girls heareverything said to them by men, but do not themselves sometimes say asingleword'. When she is thus importuned, the girl should give replies byshakesof the head, but if she has quarrelled with the man she should not evendothat. When she is asked by the man whether she wishes for him, andwhethershe likes him, she should remain silent for a long time, and when atlastimportuned to reply, should give him a favourable answer by a nod ofherhead. If the man is previously acquainted with the girl he shouldconversewith her by means of a female friend, who may be favourable to him, andinthe confidence of both, and carry on the conversation on both sides. Onsuchan occasion the girl should smile with her head bent down, and if thefemalefriend say more on her part than she was desired to do, she shouldchide herand dispute with her.

The female friend should say in jest even whatshe isnot desired to say by the girl, and add, 'she says so', on which thegirlshould say indistinctly and prettily, 'O no! I did not say so', and sheshould then smile and throw an occasional glance towards the man.

If the girl is familiar with the man, she should place near him,withoutsaying anything, the tambula, the ointment, or the garland that he mayhaveasked for, or she may tie them up in his upper garment. While she isengagedin this, the man should touch her young breasts in the sounding way ofpressing with the nails, and if she prevents him doing this he shouldsay toher, ' I will not do it again if you will embrace me', and should inthisway cause her to embrace him. While he is being embraced by her heshouldpass his hand repeatedly over and about her body. By and by he shouldplaceher in his lap, and try more and more to gain her consent, and if shewillnot yield to him he should frighten her by saying 'I shall impressmarks ofmy teeth and nails on your lips and breasts, and then make similarmarks onmy own body, and shall tell my friends that you did them. What will yousaythen?' In this and other ways, as fear and confidence are created intheminds of children, so should the man gain her over to his wishes.

On the second and third nights, after her confidence has increasedstillmore, he should feel the whole of her body with his hands, and kiss herallover; he should also place his hands upon her thighs and shampoo them,andif he succeed in this he should then shampoo the joints of her thighs.Ifshe tries to prevent him doing this he should say to her, 'What harm isthere in doing it?' and should persuade her to let him do it. Aftergainingthis point he should touch her private parts, should loosen her girdleandthe knot of her dress, and turning up her lower garment should shampoothejoints of her naked thighs. Under various pretences he should do allthesethings, but he should not at that time begin actual congress.

Afterthis heshould teach her the sixty-four arts, should tell her how much he lovesher,and describe to her the hopes which he formerly entertained regardingher.He should also promise to be faithful to her in future, and shoulddispelall her fears with respect to rival women, and, at last, after havingovercome her bashfulness, he should begin to enjoy her in a way so asnot tofrighten her. So much about creating confidence in the girl; and thereare,moreover, some verses on the subject as follows:

'A man acting according to the inclinations of a girl should try togain herover so that she may love him and place her confidence in him.

A mandoesnot succeed either by implicitly following the inclination of a girl,or bywholly opposing her, and he should therefore adopt a middle course. Hewhoknows how to make himself beloved by women, as well as to increasetheirhonour and create confidence in them, this man becomes an object oftheirlove. But he who neglects a girl, thinking she is too bashful, isdespisedby her as a beast ignorant of the working of the female mind. Moreover,agirl forcibly enjoyed by one who does not understand the hearts ofgirlsbecomes nervous, uneasy, and dejected, and suddenly begins to hate themanwho has taken advantage of her; and then, when her love is notunderstood orreturned, she sinks into despondency, and becomes either a hater ofmankindaltogether, or, hating her own man, she has recourse to other men. itisfrom vastayyan302@hotmail.com