In the months following graduation from the University of Toronto in 2004, my routine was simple: I’d come home from my full-time job working retail, exhausted, feet aching and make a bowl of ramen noodles before settling in front of my bulbous Dell desktop computer for the night. I was broke and my “desk chair” was really just a large Rubbermaid bin covered in a towel. I’d spend hours pouring over job listings, writing cover letters and sending out resumes. When I crawled into bed late at night, exhaustion would quickly overtake me. It’s been almost fifteen years, but I still remember this tiresome and nerve-wracking period of my life.

A few nights ago, I was sitting on my couch, smartphone in hand when I was struck with a sense of deja-vu. One of my intentions for 2018 is to reinvigorate my dating life. It had been a very long workday and despite the persistent feeling that I was ready to crawl into bed, I was swiping through online dating profiles and sending out messages, all the while trying to discern which of these potential dates were least likely to be serial killers. I was struck with the same rollercoaster-like mix of dread, hopefulness and sheer exhaustion that I’d experienced while job hunting.

The search for love can feel like a job in and of itself. In fact, a new study released by XRef, an online, automated reference checking service, highlights the commonalities between dating and job hunting. According to their research, the vast majority of Canadian job seekers (93%) claim to be completely above board on their resumes and the references they provide, while the majority of Canadian HR professionals (82%) believe job seekers aren’t as honest as they claim. Sound familiar?

Whether it’s your dream job or dream partner (or both) that you’re after, it’s natural to want to accentuate positive attributes while minimizing negative ones. However, with online dating, white lies also come with the territory. According to eHarmony, 53% of people lie in their online dating profiles. Of the women surveyed, 20% admitted to using an older photo from when they were younger and thinner, whereas 40% of men said they lied about their jobs in an effort to sound more successful (to all the guys who claim they’re the “CEO” of their own businesses – I see you.)

Since January is a time when many of us are contemplating new careers and new romances, here’s a few more things that dating and job hunting have in common.

1. You want to make sure people are who they say they are.

There’s nothing worse than chatting with someone, and being led to believe they are one thing, when they are not. This is where online sleuthing comes in handy. If I check a date’s Facebook and notice that they only have three friends, I’m automatically weary. In this case, daters and HR managers have more in common than we thought – findings suggest Facebook surpasses LinkedIn and even Google as the go-to destination for ‘stalking’ (79% for Facebook versus 66% for both LinkedIn and Google).

2. You need to dress the part.

If you make it to the “interview stage” – aka, the first date – you’ll want to dress the part. Similar to my interview wardrobe, I have a few designated date outfits that make me feel pulled together and confident (in my case, it’s usually a dress, a pair of ankle booties with heels and my favorite leather jacket.) You wouldn’t hire someone who showed up to the interview looking like they’d recently emerged from a cocoon of blankets. The same applies to getting a second date. Find a look that works for you and wear the heck out of it.

3. It’s an anxiety filled process.

Like job hunting, dating is rife with the potential for rejection. There have been so many times where I’ve sent out feelers or connected with someone in person, only to have the romantic or professional opportunity go nowhere. (Let’s face it, ghosting isn’t reserved exclusively to the realm of online dating anymore, HR managers are guilty too.)

The biggest parallel between dating and job hunting is that both endeavours require endurance and perseverance. You need to continually show up and do your best. If you haven’t found what you’re looking for don’t get off that Rubbermaid bin just yet.

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