Madi does motherhood, mayhem, and lots of mistakes.

Tag: motherhood

“……Because I post about how much I love my boyfriend on facebook, that makes it fake? Because I post that I make him dinner, that makes me a phony? If I don’t post about our fights that makes me a liar?

I have a different idea.

What if I really do love him and want the whole world to know it? What if that is because I am proud of him, of our relationship, and of the family we have built?
What if I want to spread positivity and show people that true love exists for everyone?….”

Read the full post at http://www.madidoesmotherhood.com/please-dont-shame-me-for-publicly-loving-my-boyfriend/

Please check out my post where I literally BEAR IT ALL to prove how important it is that we accept who we are so that our daughters don’t grow up hating their bodies just because they see us hating ours.

As some of you may or may not have heard, a two year old girl in my area was beaten by her mother’s boyfriend. She was rushed to the hospital where she was pronounced brain dead after 24 hours and multiple tests. I did not know her or her family, but we do have mutual friends. This is my letter to her mother who allegedly “permitted” the abuse. I am not here to make up rumors, this letter is based solely on what I’ve heard and read. This is a letter to all parents who allow their children to be hurt.

Please let me also preface this by saying that this is not to parents whose children are unknowingly injured. This is for the special kind of terrible person who sees it, turns the other way for it, or worse… Encourages it.

Dear mom/ dad,

I want to tell you two very important things. 1. I am sorry. And 2. I know that being a parent is hard.

Now let’s dive further into those points

1. I am so sorry that God gifted you with such a beautiful baby, because you did not deserve Them. I am sorry that you hold your own “happiness” and desires above the safety of your child. I am sorry that there are so many people out there dying to have children when they can’t, while people like you take the job, no the GIFT, of parenting completely for granted.
2. Parenting is definitely hard. Making sure that they listen and learn and advance properly is hard. Making sure that they make the right decisions and become the best versions of themselves… That’s hard. What shouldn’t be hard is keeping them alive and safe from harm WITHIN THEIR OWN HOME. What shouldn’t be hard is not allowing someone to lay their hands on your baby while you are home. It shouldn’t be hard to tell the truth on the 911 call so that maybe you can save their life.

You had ONE JOB. You had THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB. You had the job of caring for an INNOCENT.

Sincerely,

I hope I speak for every mom out there who held their baby extra tight and cried at the thought of losing them.

A few weeks ago my friend and I were talking and she asked, “Is (mr. F) babysitting tonight?” And I kindly responded with, “yes.” But the more I thought about it the more frustrated I become with that question, because I realized that my response was a lie.

He’s never babysat. Not when I’m working and he has the day off, and not on the very rare occasion that I get to venture off with my friends. I never ask him to babysit and he never offers.

You see, Mr. F doesn’t babysit because you can’t babysit your own kids. You can play with them, you can cuddle them, you can care for them, and you can even watch them, but you definitely can not babysit them.

No one ever calls me to ask if I can hang out by saying, “Hey can you hang out or do you have to babysit the girls tonight?”

Mr. F never asks me to babysit so he can go to work.

Our kids are OUR responsibility, not MINE. WE made the baby, I didn’t do that all on my own, and I do not have to care for her all on my own.

Let’s make this clear, Mr. F does not expect me to care for them on my own, but that is the implication outsiders make when they refer to him caring for his kids as “babysitting.”

I don’t get my panties bunched over simple comments very often. I don’t expect everyone to understand or respect the idea of an equal partnership. Actual, in many ways our relationship is very traditional. I take care of the majority of things around the house (although he does help a lot), and I take on most of the responsibilities of cooking and caring for the kids while he’s at work, and that is OK with me. But, please do not mistake our traditional-ish lifestyle with one in which he is somehow free of fatherly responsibility. That is the implication you make when you refer to himself caring for his own children as “babysitting.”

When I look back on Paisley’s first year of life I remember when they placed her on my chest, I remember the magical connection caused by breast feeding, i remember how she looks at me and reaches out when she wants me to pick her up, and I remember the feeling I got the first time she waved, when she stood up, and the first time she played peek-a-boo.

What I don’t tend to remember very quickly are all the times I wanted to pull my hair out because I couldn’t get her to latch. The times she hits me when I say no or throws herself backwards because I take something away. I never really think about all of the diaper blowouts and sleepless nights. Or the stretch marks and the labor pains. Oh goodness, those labor pains.

That all makes it so easy for me to utter scream the phrase, “I want another baby.. LIKE NOW.” Its like when you look at your baby, that beautiful baby, none of the bad stuff seems so bad. But I have to keep those thoughts in check.

If I don’t keep those thought in check then I’ll wind up barefoot and pregnant pretty much nonstop for the next like 10 years, and my logical side knows I can’t handle that,.

My brain knows that the next time I have a baby I’ll be complaining about back pain and sciatica and the idea of having to fund another mouth to feed. I know that there will be times when the next one tries my patience, and when all three kids are trying it all at once.

But my heart, my heart knows I’ll be over it about ten minutes after I see their face. I’ll be over it when they kiss me after they hit me because I said no, I’ll be over it when I look at them and know… that I made that. That WE made that.

For now I have to drown out the motherly instincts, the emotions, the hormones that make me want another one. For now I have to trade all of those things for logic. But someday, someday I’ll be that kind of miserable again, and I can’t wait!

Lets just first acknowledge that my food pictures are never going to look as good as the perfect moms with their clean stoves and their lack of wine in the background.

I am not perfect. I don’t have time to grocery shop every day, I usually forget ingredients when I plan the week’s meals, and more often than not I’m trying to cut corners to save money.

So at least once a week I make a pantry meal. The intention behind a pantry meal is that in an effort to save time and money, you find random ingredients in your kitchen and combine them to make a meal.

Or as mr. F tells me “you love to just throw stuff into a bowl.” And while there are some misses, usually he loves the end product, and that says a lot considering how picky he is.

Anyway, this week I made a 7 pound honey ham. And it was delicious. And by made I mean it was precooked so I mixed the glaze and warned it all up in the oven. I made the ham into a meal as I always do, but the best part is that it provided meat for sandwiches for the week

Well scratch that the best part was then at the end of the week I use the remaining meat to make a pantry meal turned out to be one of the best I’ve made yet.

Pantry meals allow you to improvise so you never have to run to the store and spend extra money!!!

I boiled 2 cans of chicken broth and one can of cream of mushroom soup in a medium sized skillet.

Once boiled I stirred in 3 cups of white rice and removed from heat.

I usually season to taste, but I mixed In a little oniom powder, about 1cup of Colby jack shredded cheese, about 1/3 a cup of grated parmesean cheese, and a dash of season salt.

Then I put in about a cup and a half of chopped ham!

I put the whole mixture into a casserole dish and sprinkled Colby jack on top to cover.

Placed the whole thing in the over for about 20 minutes at 400 degrees.

And voila! It was delicious, so easy, and helped us to eat off of our ham FOR DAYS.