Month: November 2012

This was my husband Harry’s favorite picture of me. He must have carried it around in his wallet for forty years. (Obviously, this is another copy. That one was worn almost white from love and time.)Continue reading “Harry’s favorite picture”

I write to you because I have been lost in my own mind and heart, and am in need of advice.

I am seventeen years old, distracted by overwhelming classes, applying for college and working at my job. What I desire most though, is a relationship. I have been in love with one of my good friends for over a year now. He is older, in another country for the time being, and not interested.

Sure, there are people at school that I am absolutely willing to date. It would be a good way to break free from this other guy. But even then, flirting and putting myself out there, it doesn’t work!

I just don’t know what to do. I try too hard with no results, but I feel sitting around and waiting would result in deeper conflicts with myself. I am in love, looking for a way out. Then again: I am in love, do I want out?

Sincerely,
Conflicted

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Dear Conflicted,

I am impressed. You sound like a very sophisticated young person. You have a lot on your plate with high school ending and planning for your future, and I want to congratulate you for your hard work and thoughtfulness.

Remember to slow down once in a while and pamper yourself. You absolutely need to recharge your batteries to have the energy to make through the next challenge.

As for love, we all want what is unattainable. It is dramatic and full of possibility, and yet it never materializes. Your gut instincts are right: you need to get him out of your mind and focus on what is right in front of you.

I wish I could tell you that the minute you stop thinking about him someone new and wonderful will materialize. What you can do is stop falling back on this guy as an option. Throw yourself into hobbies, friends, homework, music — anything that makes you happy. And I can promise that with time, things will take care of themselves.