I had to go back to work in a childrens' hospital, it was very hard to go into the NICU, especially when I had to do studies on babies who were dying of what my daughter had (NEC). I still cry at any and all milestones; the bat mitzvah, ON her birthday, was especially difficult, and I took a LOT of teasing from family, friends, and the rabbi, but I know you all understand!

This year she wanted to go to Disneyland with some friends (you can go for free on your birthday). We took them and dropped them off, and I realized at the end of the day, FINALLY I had gotten through this day without a single flashback, for the first time. It took 14 years, but I really was focussed on the logistics of getting 6 kids to Anaheim rather than painful memories of her birth.

I had to go back to work in a childrens' hospital, it was very hard to go into the NICU, especially when I had to do studies on babies who were dying of what my daughter had (NEC). I still cry at any and all milestones; the bat mitzvah, ON her birthday, was especially difficult, and I took a LOT of teasing from family, friends, and the rabbi, but I know you all understand!

This year she wanted to go to Disneyland with some friends (you can go for free on your birthday). We took them and dropped them off, and I realized at the end of the day, FINALLY I had gotten through this day without a single flashback, for the first time. It took 14 years, but I really was focussed on the logistics of getting 6 kids to Anaheim rather than painful memories of her birth.

I have to say that I'm a bit more calm most days and I do worry when Michael gets sick (just sick this past week with bad cold/cough/asthma now....) but DH is the one I'd say has been more affected. He worries over his weight gain, how much he eats per day, when he gets a sniffle etc. I will never forget the NICU experience but I've been able to move forward. Maybe also because of me loosing Tyler...Michael is my miracle and a survivor so I focus on him thriving and getting bigger.

I have to say that I'm a bit more calm most days and I do worry when Michael gets sick (just sick this past week with bad cold/cough/asthma now....) but DH is the one I'd say has been more affected. He worries over his weight gain, how much he eats per day, when he gets a sniffle etc. I will never forget the NICU experience but I've been able to move forward. Maybe also because of me loosing Tyler...Michael is my miracle and a survivor so I focus on him thriving and getting bigger.

that's what is so wonderful about this forum. my hubby is over everything, I still remember it as though it was yesterday. It really does help to know there are other people out there who can relate. Thanks everyone!

that's what is so wonderful about this forum. my hubby is over everything, I still remember it as though it was yesterday. It really does help to know there are other people out there who can relate. Thanks everyone!

Thanks for posting; luckily my son didn't have to go to the NICU. However I am very familiar with PTSD as I have been diagnosed 8 months after he was born. I suffered for a long time and everyone kept saying it was PP depression, which I knew it was not. I have been doing much better and did some research and found that PTSD is very common after an experience with PE. I imagine I would have been much worse off if my son had to be in the NICU along with the trauma that I had. I'm sorry that anyone has to deal with this, but I am glad that I found people who understand. :)

Thanks for posting; luckily my son didn't have to go to the NICU. However I am very familiar with PTSD as I have been diagnosed 8 months after he was born. I suffered for a long time and everyone kept saying it was PP depression, which I knew it was not. I have been doing much better and did some research and found that PTSD is very common after an experience with PE. I imagine I would have been much worse off if my son had to be in the NICU along with the trauma that I had. I'm sorry that anyone has to deal with this, but I am glad that I found people who understand. :)

This might sound familiar ... I wonder how much undiagnosed PTSD our parents deal with? Also interesting to see that moms suffer the consequences immediately while dads deal with it much later.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/25/health/25trau.html?nl=health&emc=healthupdateema1

This might sound familiar ... I wonder how much undiagnosed PTSD our parents deal with? Also interesting to see that moms suffer the consequences immediately while dads deal with it much later.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/25/health/25trau.html?nl=health&emc=healthupdateema1