Sunday, March 1, 2009

Emotional

I've been an emotional mess the last few weeks. I cry. I'm happy. I feel overwhelmed. I'm sure its all normal for a mom who feels completely out of control in the expectancy of having a baby.

My life is changing dramatically and I dont know how to feel anymore. Today is a sad day. I have fought with Jeremy today about sitting down to eat a meal, I have been disgusted with leaky pipes, and I'm sick and tired of nats that seem to appear and then disappear around me.

I want to move. I want to move with every ounce of energy in my being, but my husband doesnt. I have come to understand that THIS is my punishment, my karma, my decisions (some of them bad) being played out, and that my only true joy and happiness of this world comes from Christ.