MOST RECENT PODCASTS

Jun 29, 2018.
This episode starts with a Nature Walk, featuring Who's That Bird, non-bird edition, possibly round 4. T-Bone's dog previous success has him well ahead, maybe. Warren plays the sound of a nonbird, and each of us has to guess what the nonbird looks like, what it's trying to communicate, and provide the collective term for it. We each take a guess, which is as non-illuminating as usual. However, the correct answer sets off a real flood of interest in the water economy of the animals in question. Trust me, this is weirder and more interesting than it sounds, provided it doesn't sound very interesting to you. If you have any experience with unconventional sources of water, send us an email to tell us about it (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Party nonoffice

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Unspeakably filthy ball drying towels

May 15, 2018. This episode, Warren describes a situation in his work bathrooms that has been troubling him: one day the overseers at Warren's office replaced the paper towels with air dryers. However, some people must have complained, because at some point someone added a box containing so-called "door tissues". This way, people who had previously used paper towels to open the door had an extra paper towel that they could use to open the door after air drying their hands. Then the problem became what to do with the door tissues, so the management installed a garbage can outside the toilets marked "Door tissues only!" Then someone ripped down the door tissue box, so there was still a garbage can but no door tissues. We discuss the complex series of pointless events for far longer than you might imagine. I was really annoyed by this story when Warren told it and writing it down again has infuriated me again.
Believe it or not, the first half, infuriating as it is, is outmatched by the conversation on homophones that follows. Arrrghhh!!! If you justifiably want to complain about how painful this episode was, contact us by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Bzzz... ow!

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This week: Nature's Deadliest Animals!!! Plus
corks and icicles.

Feb 9, 2018. This episode
involves a Nature Walk contest, "Who's That Non-Bird: Killer Edition". (We'll
save the killer birds for another day.) The contest question is this: which
non-birds are responsible for the most human deaths in the world per year?
Warren asks the rest of us to guess the top 11. Here's a little foreshadowing:
Warren will cite some stats for non-animal causes of death for contrast,
and John will contest them furiously. This contest is only one episode,
but it's still surprisingly long, or at least it feels that way... If you
want to correct any of Warren's statistics, send us an email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).
Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Check out Ted's Obliquessss

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The thing is you're into, and all the different
variations on that thing

Dec 12, 2017. Merry Tedmas
everyone! In the spirit of the holidays, and just in case you have a collector
in your Secret Santa exchange pool, in this episode we try to Name 5 Things
that are Bad Ideas for collectible products. For example, Warren explains
that cereal producers had tried to make cereal boxes collectible, which
is a real thing (https://www.eater.com/2016/2/16/11008926/cereal-box-collections-history).
Oh Ted help us. Anyway, Warren asks us to name five other things that would
be a bad idea to make collectible. I have a suspicion that some of these
things already exist, and that I shouldn't have flushed them if I wanted
to make money on some mint condition toilet paper. Opportunity squandered!
Let us know what you have failed to collect by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).
Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

The New York GrapeNuts

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Scandalously seductive peppermints

Oct 12, 2017. This week
we open the show uncertain about Carol Burnett's status. Turns out: still
funny! Then we try to name five possible sport team names that are strange,
yet somehow intimidating. Warren's suggested example is "The Long Starers".
We come up with many suggestions, but most of them are perhaps more off-putting
than intimidating. Anyway, our discussion naturally leads us to discussing
how cereal prevents masturbation. You'll want to stay away from all those
sexy, sexy foods, like vinegar, and pickles. PICKLES! So hot…. If you've
not yet succumbed to temptation, you can send us an email and describe your
favourite strategy for resisting self-abuse (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).
Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Unprovocaté

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Is that a cucott in your pants?

Jul 6, 2017. This episode
aims not to provoke. Consider yourself warned! We begin with a "How about
that?" segment, in which Warren notes that both words tit and boob are palindromes.
How about that? We discuss maintaining palindromiety for plurals of palindromes,
but it's a bit controversial, and maybe even dangerously close to provocative.
To avoid crossing a line, we try to name 5 things that you can stuff into
other things to invent a new food item. For a simple example, Warren suggests
putting a carrot into a cucumber, to make a (maybe) cucott. Some of the
other suggestions are more involved, but perhaps no more provocative (although
T-Bone does lose it at one point). If you find the content provokes any
kind of response, eat some piroshka to cool off. Then if you're still feeling
hot, send us an email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).
Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

I'm soaking in it

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Don't worry, all the poop is dead

Apr 7, 2017. In this episode,
we bring you a nice relaxing audio bath, because you deserve it. Warren
presents Pooh Corner to start us off, by recounting an incident on a small
plane in which the toilet contained no sink, but only hand sanitizer. Is
this an adequate solution? What if (however it happened), you actually got
poop on your hand? Would the sanitizer be sufficient, really? Are your hands
food-safe? Does the answer depend on the provision of towels? Or does it
depend primarily on your diet (think about it)? What if we could sterilize
your hands effectively? Is it better to use the sanitizer or toilet water?
Apparently the FDA is alert to the problem, but perhaps the good folks there
might want to consider some of our suggestions. If you need any advice on
sinkless handwashing, let us know by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).
Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

ABOUT US

Limited Appeal is a self-explanatory podcast, really. On a monthlish basis,
four old university friends now scattered across the world meet for a Skypechat
that is recorded for your detr. . . , er, benefit. Surprisingly, we actually
edit out the more boring parts of the conversation, and try to leave you
with a few pearls of wisdom that are gleaned from consistently ridiculous
points of view on discussion topics ranging from the mundane to the absurd.
If you occasionally enjoy some of our conversations, we are pleased.

But be warned: our motto is, "In case you were expecting something,
this is what you get."

"I've been listening to your show since
about 2007, and to this day you're still fucking hilarious."

"Listening to your podcasts is much better
than reading about gum disease!! I meant that in the nicest way possible."

"How? HOW can four grown men expend so much
air discussing the difference between a cupcake and a muffin AND yet it
still be completely compelling listening. If only such issues were so passionately
debated in the halls of government. I didn't want it to end- I wondered
what WAS going to trip out of their mouths next. There is a lot of crap
for sure- but it's like panning for gold-sometimes there is a nugget that
makes you laugh so hard you wonder where you can get hold of those adult
diapers that NASA gives to their astronauts." Note: This is referring
to episode Muffcake
.

"OMG OMG- had to pull over while driving....
It's hurts...laughing too much...Gayland??? The land for nazi persecuted
homosexuals...'there would be lots of tourism because people would go there
to get their hair done....and buy shoes'.... Oh god I can't breathe....
So simple it's genius." Note: This is referring to episode Making
Gay Amends .

"You guys are fucking funny. You are all
very funny... Thank you for your time.">> Stephen/Gemma, the answer to your question is "Halo"
by Haley James Scott.

"You are all fucking genius's. You guys made
my almost die from laughter."

"Some parts were laugh out loud funny."

"Holy Shite, you Gents are Great!"

"That Daily Show guy Jon Stewart totally
ripped off your segment ETWTF when he wrote his book entitled "The Daily
Show With Jon Stewart Presents Earth (The Book): A Visitor's Guide to the
Human Race.". I think that guy deserves some kind of ultimatum."

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Limited Appeal uses an abundance of coarse language. For the moment we are
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as being inappropriate for the target public of Culture.ca."

"You're trendsetters and ... I've been informed
by Nielsen and Arbitron that fed-up with rerun TV viewers have been funneling
to your show..."

"I F-in Love you guys!..Grazie!, for the
laughs...You lads are hilarious!"

"I listened to the Golden Girls episode,
and I laughed. Plus I liked hearing the Fraggle Rock music so that was fun
:)"
Note: This is referring to episode Ass
Doozers .

"i'm stoned and i'm listening to the manboob
episode .
i am laughing so much that my stomach hurts. the launchpad shit was awesome."

"My lawyers have advised me to kick you in
the balls and to sue you for 32 billion dollars for lost future income and
emotional harm."

"Waiting for you podcast to download, can't
wait to find out if your scrotum has lungs!!" Note: This is referring
to episode Maple
Hoofs .

"I want the minutes of my life that I spent
listening to your podcast back!"

"i listened to your turtle
podcast ...my
mistake was to eat while i listened. Biting in to an apple then you talk
about biting other things.. an apple isn't something you can put aside to
finish later."

"I’ve never held a standard of proof
for the existence of god before, but if I inexplicably wind up with a popsicle,
I'll believe."
Note: This is referring to episode Breathmint
Boogie .

"I think you sick bastards must be totally
drunk when you record this show. You say things that are completely ludacris,
your opinions are uneducated, and it's like you're just recording miscellaneous
bullshit. I can't believe you take time out of your day to actually record
this nonsense."

"I love how smart I get from listening to
you guys."

"I listened to your second
podcast
today hoping it would help me gain insight into the meaning of life, boy
was I wrong! I found most of the discussion irritating and pointless."

"I am pleasantly surprised..."

"I just listened, very funny ... I'm going
to have to listen to more."

"You guys are a bunch of ass clowns."

"Your show stinks even worse than before."

"Your podcasts are foooking hilarious!"

"...what a bunch of idiosyncratic banters!"

"I just love the random lunacy and idiotic
comments..."

"Hello you sexy bitches..."

"Im into the podcast."

"very funny..."

"I am willing to offer you $1,600,000(One
Million Six Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) for your effort input
after the successful transfer of this money and investment..."NOTE: Luc suspects this might be spam, but it looks authentic to
me.

"hey cutie, whats up? you look so hot in
your pics, i just got a new webcam, you should help me test it out ... you
can tell me what to do, i love a man in control!
i been on this other site that lets me use it, come join ...i'll be on my
account"NOTE: Again Luc is suspicious, but this one's gotta be true!

Hoss

A special thank you to Hoss - our biggest fan out there.
His name occasionally makes it into an episode. Now you know who we're talking
about.
By the way, this may or may not be an accurate photo of him.

Ourselves

All of our episodes are written, performed, produced, edited, and published
by Limited Appeal.

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