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The #1 Dream Killer

Have you ever said any form of the following: “I want to quit my job, but I don’t know HOW I’ll make money,” “I’d like to find an incredible boyfriend, but I don’t know HOW I’d find a winner in a sea of losers,” “Moving to ___ would be awesome, but I don’t know HOW I’ll find a job, an apt, etc.,” “Losing 15 lbs. would be ideal, but I can’t figure out HOW,” or “I have this million-dollar, world-changing idea, but I don’t know HOW to create it”?

When you throw a “but” in with a “how,” the result is death. Whoa! I’m dramatic. The possibility, the dream inside you, does die a little bit when you don’t put it into action.

We all have visions and ideas of things, people, and experiences we want to create. We as humans are not only created,but we’re creativeand creating.You created your reality, even if you didn’t realize you were doing it, even if you forgot that you did it. If you created it, then you can re-create it.

Unfortunately, as logical, reasonable beings, we have such intense urge to plan and figure out the ‘how’s’ to create that we get stopped in our tracks. “How will I get there?” “How will it work?” “How do I know?” “How is it possible?” “How can I be certain?” We get caught in the uncertainty.

The truth is that we need 50% of life to be uncertain, otherwise we’ll get bored and complacent. In other words, while security and predictability is lovely, the unknowing is equally part of the dream-building, creation process.

At some point, we got this idea that we need to know the answers before we pursue a desire or a creation. On The Glow Team, one of our main principles is focusing on the ‘why’s’ not the ‘how’s.’

When I quit my job, I didn’t know how I’d make ends meet. When I started The Glow Effect, I didn’t know how to do pretty much anything business-related. When I moved to LA, I didn’t know how anything would work out. The Glow Team keeps having incredible ideas, that are full of I-don’t-know-how’s. Instead of focusing on the ‘how’s’, we’re trusting we will receive the answers when necessary (and we ALWAYS do!).

As Anthony Meindl explains, “When you give up your expectations of how things are created and instead listen for the answers, you begin to see interesting patterns. Patterns whispering to you, ‘This is the way.’ ‘Try this.’ ‘Don’t be scared.’ ‘Give it a go.’ ‘Trust.’ ‘What do you have to lose?’ ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’ ‘Breathe.’

What if you let the universe work out the plans? I’m guessing in some way or another things have worked out for you in the past. As hard as you try, you can’t control plans. All you can do is set forth a clear intention and then go for the ride.

If your excuse for not pursuing a dream or idea becomes an uncertainty of how to create it, there’s no way the ‘how’s’ can be revealed. When you start listening to the hunches, the “ah-ha’s,” the inner guidance, you move in the direction of possibility, even if you can’t see it yet. That’s when the “how’s” of life become the “wow’s”!