Recently, Rachel told me that she thought the British "cock-up" expression used for when things get all fouled (you thought I was going to use the other F word, didn't you?) up was great. Hearing Helen Mirren say it all the time must have had some effect on her. A couple of my favorites originate from The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin, a little seen show that I was fortunate enough to catch on WPBT a long time ago. C.J. (the boss) would always go around saying such classics as:

I didn't get where I am today by having green frogs thrust down my crotch.

I didn't get where I am today by thinking.

I didn't get where I am today by biting people in the changing room.

I didn't get where I am today by wearing underpants decorated with Beethoven.

I didn't get where I am today by everything smelling of Bolivian unicyclist's jockstraps!

I didn't get where I am today by sleeping with sweaty, Caledonian chefs!

I didn't get where I am today by drinking a liquid that's only been tested on pencils!

He also butchered other expressions as only his character could. An example, "It's the early bird that catches the quick brown fox." A spoonerism variation, I guess? Another guy on the show went around saying "Super!" (sounded more like soo-pa!). I loved watching PBS in my youth, I tell ya! I mean, where else would I have seen Dave Allen at Large, Doctor in the House, Fawlty Towers, Dr. Who, Red Dwarf, Topper (don't ask, but yeah, I watched it from time to time), et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.