Monday, November 22, 2010

This time of year…from now until the day after Christmas…is when I go emotionally insane.

You see, for years I’ve cooked Thanksgiving dinner for our family and Thanksgiving 2006 was the last holiday I got to spend with my baby girl.

She moved up to Heaven not long thereafter.

Since then, I’ve tried to face this time period in so many ways, none of which seemed to let me avoid the emotional roller coaster ride from hell. It’s her anniversary, it’s the Thanksgiving and Christmas season that she’s not a part of anymore, it’s the decorations, the holiday smells and the gift buying that sends me reeling in and out of grief, depression, and wonderful happy memories. I am at the mercy of this emotional tailspin, and I can’t seem to pull myself out until Dec 26th.

December 26th seems to have now become one of my favorite days…it’s the day I can say, “It’s over.”

This year I’m trying something new.

This year I’m shaking things up.

This year I’ve cancelled Thanksgiving.

Yup.

It’s now called: "Just Thursday” or “The Thursday formally known as Thanksgiving.”

Why this year?

This year has been a very tumultuous year on so many levels that I don’t think I can handle any more emotional drama. To force myself to forge through yet another “The Thursday formally known as Thanksgiving” would surely send me on a disturbing tailspin plunge into an inevitable breakdown and I was afraid I may not recover.

So as to avoid the Funny Farm showing up anytime soon, Marc and I made the decision that on "Just Thursday," we will be getting in our car with just a wallet, a suitcase, and a map.

No reservations, no plans, and no one is expecting us…anywhere…for 10 days.

10 days of adventure.

10 days of spontaneity.

We got the idea from Eric when he and Dean took their cross-country road-trip back in May.

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Beyond Breathing is the story of a mother’s loss of her 13 year old daughter, Jena, to Cystic Fibrosis, a fatal genetic disease. The journey takes you from unfathomable heartache to love and understanding of life’s realities.

Through the pages, we understand that life lessons come from the children, beauty of living, and the power of love.

In the span of one year, Margarete learned to go from depression and dependency to inner strength and the realization that love never ends and that there are no coincidences. She now knows that sometimes the most important thing you can do is to just be there and that breathing isn’t always easy.

Margarete hopes to reach a place in her life where she is beyond just breathing.