Just in time for the Olympics: Beijing’s penis restaurant

I’m visiting the Guo-li-zhuang restaurant, a specialist penis and testicle emporium. … It offers every conceivable John Thomas you could ever want, which probably isn’t very many. Nonetheless, the menu is both extensive and impressive. … (The chef) enters holding aloft an eye-wateringly large yak’s knob. It’s about 45cm (18 inches) long, but thin, so thin. It’s been boiled gently and — I can’t believe I’m writing this — peeled, except for a hunk of foreskin still clinging on to the end. He cuts the thing in half lengthways with a pair of scissors. As he chops through the very tip of this impressive member, I feel an undeniable empathy twitch in my own penis and a bizarre feeling of nausea in my groin. (I didn’t think groins could experience nausea.) I can’t help yelping in sympathy.