Well, kids, when the meteoric pressure of the neurons and the prevailing atomic shift is the, um ... the short answer is: "All of them." OK. Pau? Good enough? Mr. Science has a headache.

No? Oh, OK. Here it is, kids: If he does something that on paper should be spectacular, but your reaction is, "Huh. Well, big deal. That's what happens when you throw the ball so much. So what?" Then that's a system quarterback. And if he breaks through beyond that and you have a different feeling about him, well, he's not a "system" quarterback, even if he's doing it within a certain system. It's like former Supreme Court justice Potter Stewart's definition of pornography (save your questions kids, Mr. Science isn't on HBO). You know it when you see it.

So, tune in next week, when ... what? Still don't get it?

OK, I see some hands in the back. Yes, Jimmy. OK, the follow-up question: "Is Hawaii's Colt Brennan, just named National Offensive Player of the Week by the Walter Camp Football Foundation, a system quarterback?"

Excellent question, Joey. Well, yes. And no. Of course he is. But now he's starting to move beyond that.

Got it?

Mr. Science has a tee time.

OK, I can see the hands are still up, so let's ask Uncle June: "Like I get this question all the time," June Jones said. " 'Is it the offense?' I was just (talking) with a Sports Illustrated guy. I said, 'Yeah. The offense makes average quarterbacks a lot better than they would be in another scheme.' I said, 'But when we have a great one, they're better in what we do.' And that's proven with Jim Kelly, and Warren Moon. And all the quarterbacks I've had have had their best seasons in our offense. Jeff George, Chris Miller, Bobby Hebert, all of them have had their best years in our offense. If you really have what Joe Montana has, if you have what John Elway has -- guess what -- it makes you better. And Colt has right inside of him, what the great ones have. And that's a lot of pressure I know to say, to put that on him, but he's got it. And he just has to understand it, be humble and keep doing what he's doing. And he'll get better and better."

Well, Mr. Science would point out that Jim Kelly also went to four Super Bowls. But you get the idea.