Monday, May 09, 2011

My good friend, Rob, is married but does not have any children and thus he goes on vacations 47 times a year and owns a Lexus and a Harley and a boat and blah blah blah rub it in my face why don't ya.

I'm not bitter.

His latest excursion with his wife took them to Belize where he would upload all kinds of pictures on his Facebook page of them skydiving and snorkeling and hanging out on the beaches and basically having all kinds of wanton, kid-free fun prompting me to Tweet:

1)jumped out of an airplane2)parachuted into the ocean3)peed in the water (he did not say this directly but this is what guys do when they touch water)4)waited for a dive boat to pick them up5)put on gear and went scuba diving into the underwater cave

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away in a small town in New Hampshire, a short man is eating grapes and wearing jammie pants while watching a cupcake competition on The Food Network.

Woot.

But Rob is a funny bastard so as I was going through his Facebook pictures, I found a status update he posted to try to calm down any nervous jumpers that were going to be skydiving into the ocean with him that day:

30 comments:

You should check out "People of Walmart" and other creatures. The creature of the day is pretty funny. of course not as funny as your blog. I'm sure you can relate since Walmart seems to be one of your regular stops

Same here. I wish I had the money for such fun excursions. Oh well :) at least I can say I spent my Friday puking into the big white hole called the toilet because I had a really crappy migraine. Le Sigh!

Since I broke my femur, using the electric carts at Walmart has become a favorite pastime. Don't overlook the obvious terror you can cause. It may not be a blue hole, but those old people can run like hell.

Sipping drinks on the beach and doing fun, adventurous activites is totally overrated, I'm sure. I wouldn't know, but that's what I tell myself to keep from throwing myself naked into a pit of wild hogs.

"a short man is eating grapes and wearing jammie pants while watching a cupcake competition on The Food Network."that's the best line in there. i'm not a man (today) but that's pretty much a description of my life! at least i don't catch diseases from drinking funky water in foreign countries. i try to console myself with the little things.

Did you know (or even care) that there is another Blue Hole in Belize (although I love the Smurf image)? It's in the interior and it's a "bottomless" pool of water. My favorite Blue Hole memory (I still can't get the Smurf outta my head): When we went swimming there, another American tourist (go figure) commented that the water was real cold where she was. I gave an "ahhhh" sound and said, "Not where I am." She and her companions quickly left. Now, I'm going to find me a Smurf.

when you go to the store again get me some grapes. I am not daring enough to go to the store. Also people like Rob rock. Please have his wife send me her pics so I can photo shop my head in and send them to my alum board as the reason I can't attend any of their shit. Thanks.