Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Cause of Re-Animatemorphopalism

The trend with zombies is to believe there has been an outbreak of organisms from beyond our planet. These microbes supposedly arrived in the tails of any number of comet storms or meteor showers. Careful analysis of the skies and areas most affected by these natural occurrences reveal next to nothing out of the ordinary in our atmosphere or surrounding terrain. Rumors persisted that the original space and moon walkers returned to the earth covered in space dust that was potentially hazardous to the planet. Again, this theory has been debunked several times over.

A newer, more fascinating one is suggested by the conspiracists who believe the moon landing, let alone space travel, has never actually occurred. An offshoot cell of this belief holds that the multi-national pharmaceutical conglomerate developed a toxin that was accidentally released and as a cover up, coerced governments through lobbyists to stage the lunar landings and subsequent space missions eventually making it appear that the so called Zombie Virus, or the Mercury MCMLXII Strain, did indeed comes from the heavens.

I am happy to report that time and time again Dr. Genuine and her crack team from Knockwood University near Sault St. Marie, Michigan, has debunked all of these ridiculous theories about space travel. The fact that she and her team of scientists, researchers, and philosophers have had to expend as much time proving man has gone to the moon and soon beyond that I fear valuable time may have been lost in our effort to quell the plague of zombies we now face.