Recap: Glee, Season 3, Episode 7 – I Kissed A Girl, aka The Episode Where Glee Kicks Lesbians in the Taco

5) The crooked, dead beaver pelt on Puck’s head. That’s it; I can’t take his haircut anymore. I don’t know whether to shave it off or club it to death.

Things I Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass About

1) Coach Bieste’s love life. Maybe when Glee stops turning the character of Coach Bieste into a live-action fat joke, I’ll actually care about any of her storylines. But since every scene she’s in has to involve her eating an entire chicken and talking with her mouth full, or lamenting the fact that she’s so huge and unattractive, I find the whole thing tedious and annoying. It’s terribly mean and not funny at all. This week’s Coach Bieste/Cooter Menkins/Sue Sylvester love triangle was about as interesting as washing dishes, and I still can’t figure out how Dot Marie Jones refrains from getting her scripts and immediately slapping Ryan Murphy across the room. I’m surprised they let her sing “Jolene” and not “I’m Too Ugly to Live.”

The only remotely funny thing about any of this is the fact that you have two lesbian ringers fighting over a man named after a vagina.

2) Elections. The idea that Sue would be elected for anything is absurd, and beyond that I don’t really care about fake Ohio politics. They also have nothing at all to do with arts funding at McKinley High or anything at all about the glee club.

As far as McKinley High senior class president goes, the race was dragged out into oblivion without any entertaining drama. The fact that three glee kids were actual contenders when one of the huge premises of the show is joining glee club = social suicide is not only aggravating but also boring, which is worse.

Things That Didn’t Make Me Want to Bang My Head Against a Wall

1) Santana coming out to her abuelita. This was the only Santana scene in the whole episode that didn’t feel like Finn-propping. There was tension, emotion, and actual stakes involved. Unlike Santana’s coming out to her parents, which was offscreen and ended well, this was the realization of the fear that kept Santana unable to admit that she was a lesbian even to herself.

Naya Rivera was her usual awesome self, although I will say this: Santana went from being completely terrified, almost paralyzed by fear of what her family would think, to being confident enough to come out to all of them with conviction. That’s a stretch for me to believe, although I suppose an argument can be made that she was lulled into a false sense of security by her parents’ reaction. Either way, at least there was more to this scene than simply a segue into a song, which is more than I can say for the other scenes this week.

To say this episode was stupid and offensive is like saying getting eaten by a shark is annoying. I honestly cannot fathom what the Glee powers that be were thinking when this was written. It succeeded in making the process of coming to terms with your sexuality appear to be the equivalent of a one-episode arc. It succeeded in creating a hero out of a character that should have been derided for dangerously thoughtless behavior, and for making that same character the sole catalyst for another person’s coming out process. It also succeeded in robbing Santana and Glee viewers of any kind of authentic, organic process of self-acceptance. Add to that the fact that the women on Glee are crazy morons without the guidance of men, and watching this show is like getting repeatedly kicked in the taco. I’m not sure what I’m more annoyed by: the episode itself, or the fact that I was again naïve enough to think Glee could deliver an episode worth any kind of emotional investment.

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I agree so much with this recap except the part of Brittany being a bad girlfriend. She essentially said all the stuff Finn said to Santana this episode last season. However, I do think Brittany should have been more involved with the storyline. She is out now, too. Does the show just ignore bisexuals now?

Yes, and it pissed me off that Finn got credit for saving Santana when he basically regurgitated what Brittany said earlier.

That said, Brittany’s been rubbing me the wrong way lately. I don’t know if it’s the “I said if we were both single, we’d mingle” speech, which is essentially “hey, if I’m not busy I’ll date you,” or it’s the fact that they just make her so dumb, but she just seems to be way less invested in her relationship with Santana than Santana is. And that bugs me to no end.

And yes, we are in absolute agreement in the ridiculousness of not having Brittany be a part of the storyline and episode. I think the show ignores anything without a penis, frankly.

No, I agree with you that Brittany isn’t really showing that she wants to be in the relationship, but I think she just doesn’t want to push it. I also think she needs an episode where we she her POV that doesn’t involve magic combs, Santa and leprechauns. I am just in denial I guess because I can’t not ship Brittana. Plus, I don’t think they would have another lesbian/bisexual for Santana and I really don’t want them to add to this already enormous cast.

I understand, I’ve been onboard the SS Brittana since season one. I’ve just become really jaded by the way they’ve written Brittany. I’m sick of getting my hopes up for Christmas and unwrapping a turd. I haven’t totally abandoned my Brittana candle just yet, but they really have to do a lot better.

I’d hate to see guest girlfriends, too – I just miss the Brittany with a brain who was the one asking Santana to sing lezzie songs together.