Sunday, May 9, 2010

Now that it's Mother's Day

My mom was tops. The best. She died in 1993 of pancreatic cancer, and it was a huge hit to the family. It happened so fast we were still trying to comprehend the possibility of her dying when she passed. There is still a hole there.

She was a nurse for many years, taking time off to stay home with us kids. One of her stories I love is that when she graduated from nursing school in New York City (around 1959-1960) she and her pal Sue wanted to see the West. So she bought a car (a 1956 Bel Air, if memory serves) and they did just that. As I heard the story, the times were such that a nurse could walk into almost any hospital, talk to the nurse manager about who they had worked for, and where they had graduated from, and would be given a job. Different world. They spent time in Sun Valley, ID, and years later mom regretted not being able to buy property at the time.

I think of her often. I know I've written this before here, but I think about how she would think I've done a good job with my life and my kid, and that pleases me. I've learned from her mistakes, and that's something I think any parent would be happy to know. It's funny, a few years ago, I looked down at my hands like I'm doing now, and thought, "those are mom's hands". A few wrinkles and spots, some experience, still very capable.

I sort of take for granted that I'm there for my kid. It's assumed that I will be supportive and nurturing to Mr W, and that he'll come first - all that stuff. That's just my job. I don't call it being a good mother, you know? It's just part of what I do, and I realize that my job is, in some respects, made easier by only having to keep track of one. But the kid's turning out good so far. Plays too much on the computer, and isn't interested in sports, but likes to ride his bike and hike and is into building things and math and science. He's "coming along" as my dad would say. So far so good.

you know, you can criticize my work, my marriage, my housekeeping, or lack of it, most anything...but DON"T criticize my MOTHERING, 'cuz it's what I do with the most effort and with my heart on my sleeve.You're doing good...