Transitioning from Relaxed Hair to Natural Hair

Whether I’m transitioning from relaxed hair to natural hair has come up a number of times over the past year. I have strategically avoided the question because formal announcements seem so final and I hate being boxed in. However, a few friends told me to embrace my truth and follow my heart.

Transitioning from Relaxed Hair to Natural Hair | The Journey

I started the relaxer stretch to improve the health of my hair from relaxer runoff damage. Below is a photo of my damaged hair. My hemline has been damaged like this before and I was just tired of the vicious cycle.

As the stretch continued, I got pretty good at it and my hair flourished. I knew giving my hair rest would help but I didn’t expect it to flourish this well. Here I am 21 months later, loving my hair and using wigs as a long-term protective style.

YouTube Playlist | Using Wigs as Protective Styles

Where Do I Go From Here?

I am scared and torn on what I want for the future. I love the curls that are growing in but I am nervous about whether I will be content with being natural. Would it be too much to handle. The list goes on. I already know I will be tempted to relax my hair again if this turns out to be more effort than I’m willing to give.

Best I can tell, my texture is super kinky so I am nervous that my natural hair will be difficult to manage, dry, breaking, poor retention, single strand knots, etc. I love how sleek and shiny relaxed hair looks….

Even as I continue this relaxer stretch, my relaxed hair has proven to be the most problematic with tangles and matting. I am not excited about long-term transitioning because wash days are getting longer and longer nor am I mentally ready for a big chop. I chopped a section just to test the waters and almost had an anxiety attack soon thereafter.

Fear aside, a huge part of me does not want to let anyone down. I have heard it a million times and I am sure I will hear it again — every time I find a relaxed hair blogger, she ends up transitioning from relaxed hair to natural hair. I know this should be about me and only me but I care about those who support me too.

Unfortunately, I don’t know my natural texture so I really don’t know what to expect for the future. However, natural hair pride will never stand in my way from relaxing my hair again should this not work out!! So, as I journey into the unknown, I hope you will continue to support me so that we can grow healthy hair together!

I stopped relaxing my hair because I hated playing catch up all the time. Relaxing fine tightly coiled hair was a recipe for disaster, even when I switched to texlaxed. The breakage wouldn’t stop. I cut my hair 12 months post relaxer and here are my thoughts: having short hair is annoying but I have enough hair to do cute styles. The work is as much as I am willing to put in and I’m happy to not have the chemical exposure anymore. About your hair – you’ve got 21 months of amazing growth. If you cut the ends, even if you didn’t like it and relaxed it that would be really thick and healthy! Hair will always grow. Whatever your heart is telling you, go with it. The hair is your own and you don’t owe anyone anything! <3

The little section I cut is cute and all but I’m not ready! Like, how would I style it. My husband is so supportive. He’s encouraging me to cut it because it will just spends things up. He thinks I’ll be happier in the end, after the initial shock and mourning phase, of course. Plus, I won’t have to deal with long wash days, etc. However, I’ve not yet worked up the nerve. Thankfully, he’s supportive either way.

Hair will always grow but here’s what scares me — what if I want to give my hair a break from wigs, then what? Yikes!

You’re so sweet. I know I don’t owe anyone anything but yall are my homies. I thank you so much for your support!

Yay finally. I’m so happy you have made a decision to be a naturalista. You have tons and tons on information about relaxed hair so i’m sure you will not lose that support. Dealling with shrinkage and short natural hair maybe strange for you coming from waist length relaxed hair.

If you don’t want to rock afro due to the awkward stage continue to rock your wigs until you are comfortable.

I just want to see some wash n go’s from your beautiful head. I too want to explore my natural hair at some point but not right now.

I’ve always said I wanted to explore my natural hair but this crept up on me. It’s better that way though because I would have been too chicken to do it by way of planning. I’ve been playing with my little section of cut hair trying to figure it out. I haven’t had short hair since, gosh — late 90s when I was trying to look cute in high school. Ok, so I’m totally telling my age. Lol I use to rock that Halle Berry!

As for wash and go – for real? I don’t know if I can pull that off but I will sure try it. I cannot wait for the day when wash days are a breeze.

You have CURLS!!!!! I love following people who didn’t know their natural texture before transitioning, its fun to watch them be surprised and learn what works. Maybe it’s because this was so not my story! lol. 21 months is awesome, I only went 24 months – but I also didn’t have as much length as you to start. FGrogan just relaxed her hair again, so we still have pretty relaxed hair to watch!!! lol

Tight curls!!! Whew, chile…those things are tight. lol I was talking all big and bad saying I wouldn’t never big chop when I decided to go natural but I totally see why big chops happen. My little section was the result of me thinking I wanted to big chop but you see, how my panic level was set up after I cut that one section, I was like nah bruh, I’m not ready.

I didn’t know FGrogran relaxed again. Good for her. I quickly went over to her channel and as per the usual, she didn’t disappoint. Her hair is gorgeous!

Honestly speaking Jay… I fully understand what you mean… I think I am currently feeling the same way… Im not saying I’m transitioning but I also don’t feel like relaxing my hair either. I support you wherever this journey leads

Thank you so much. That means a lot! While I do plan to visit a salon to get a good flat iron and trim, I don’t miss the salon, that’s for sure. I don’t miss getting a relaxer. I don’t miss the hit and miss results with trying to have texlaxed hair, etc. The only thing I do miss, is sleek hair. I guess a good flat iron could calm that though.

I love this blog no matter what. i am transitioning to natural hair i still go to hair salon weekly to get it washed and flat ironed. To help with tangles my stylist using the sheamoisture low porosity, protein free detangler. I found out about it after viewing a video from sunkiss alba on Hair porosity. I believe you did a post of porosity already. Shea moisture has a new line focused on this. The leave in conditioner works for me.

Thank you so much, that means a lot to me! I’ve seen the low porosity line but haven’t purchased it yet. Thank you for sharing your experience. I like that Sally Beauty offer a generous return policy. That way, I can return it if it doesn’t work. What other products does your stylist like?

Thanks for letting us know. You have posted such helpful content, and your blog has been a great resource for me on my healthy hair journey. Would you consider creating an archive link containing the posts on relaxed hair and keeping them on your blog? That way, we could still visit your blog and click on older articles that still apply to relaxed heads. One I’m thinking of is tips on stretching your relaxer.

All the best. Since you use a lot of natural/organic products now, you may still use them once your transition is done.

Oh yes, the relaxed hair posts will remain active. My archives list every post I’ve done. The relaxed hair posts are very much needed because they show where I’ve been and the transitioning posts will show where I’m headed. Thank you so much for always supporting me. It’s much appreciated!!! 🙂 I was sifting through the stash last night and I have more organic products than non organic so I’m set for a long while. Now, if I can only stop buying more, I’ll be golden.

Girl – life is so short – hair grows back! Don’t think about it too deeply, nothing you do now is irreversible… I was natural, then relaxed, then natural again, now about to be locked… Honestly, I follow you because I e-love your personality and that won’t change regardless of what you do to your hair.

JUDITH!!!!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! Are you still on LHCF? I lurk mostly now because time is limited with trying to blog amongst other things I’m doing. Life is too short and yes, it will grow back but gosh, I haven’t had short (Halle Berry short) hair since like high school. Trust, that was more than a minute ago. That being said, I think I look better with short hair though so…it’ll all work out I suppose. Thank you for digging my personality. We hit it off from day 1! Good look on locing your hair. How far along are you? I truly thank you for the support and encouragement.

Best of luck in your new journey as a naturalista (even if it doesn’t end up being a forever journey). I stopped relaxing my hair 5 years ago, but I never did the big chop. I’ve just been getting regular trims and the relaxer is FINALLY just about completely out of my hair. I love wearing my hair straight, but I just feel that I have more versatility without a relaxer and my hair has grown a bunch since I decided to go natural.

I love reading success stories. Around the web, you see horror stories about lack of growth, knots, tangles, dryness, etc. I’m looking forward to achieving the things you’ve mentioned. I hope to long term transition too but my relaxed hair tends to tangle so we’ll see.

I remember my transition over ten years ago. It was too hard dealing with two different textures, so i chopped all the permed hair off and wore braids and within a year my hair was down my back. I miss the perfect life looking hair perms give you, but I hate the damage they do. Your hair looks very good.Foodfashionandflow recently posted…Delicious and Healthy Cauliflower Crust Pizza

Wow, you had some super duper growth. Send some of those juices and berries my way. 🙂 I’ll keep that in mind for sure. I feel my journey will flow so much easier and quicker if I cut it but I just have to work up the nerve.

I transitioned for quite a while and then I got fed up and cut all of the relaxed hair off. There are days when I get so frustrated with my hair but I don’t want to relax my hair anytime soon. I like the thickness of it.Chrystal, ChryssVI recently posted…Elf Matte Lip Color Rich Red Review

I seriously thought cutting my hair wouldn’t be bad. That’s why I chopped one section. I knew then and there, nope – not ready. Like, how would I even style it. Likely, I wouldn’t. I’m wearing wigs so it wouldn’t matter much but I do take break from wigs so then I’ll be faced with the issue.

I know exactly how you feel…or at least almost. That question of “what if I don’t like it and have to relax again ” is really a tough call. In any case, just keep on going and take all the time you need to make a decision…..and the thickness is so awesome it’s so hard to relax it too. Hheheeeeheeeeee…..fingers crossed.

Well GOOD FOR YOU hun on making this bold decision with going natural. It’s hard and the “in between” growth stages makes people feel miserable. But it’s just a phase that won’t last and it does pass.. Lot of times we women do not understand this when trying to grow our hair out from the big chop. All that you’ve shared looks totally FAB to me! I use to relax my hair in my 20s. SO GLAD I STOPPED!! I share advice like stay away from chemicals, as much heat as possible, no colors, no dyes, no weaves, and let the hair go and grow!

Looking it as being just a phase helps with the frustration. My phase will be pretty long given the length of my hair, unless I BC. Some transition for years and years. I just wonder if I have it in me.

Oh, congrats on deciding to accept the transition! I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit, you’ve been doing a superb job with this extra long relaxer stretch so far. I can’t imagine you not being able to adapt in a similar way to the next part of the journey. I’m looking forward to seeing where you and your hair goes regardless of whether you are relaxed, transitioning, or natural!

I started transitioning in 2008 and I am so glad I did. I never did a big chop, I gradually trimmed my hair over the course of a year and a half and was completely natural in 2010. My shrinkage is RIDICULOUS and in the beginning I was scared because my shrinkage made me look bald headed. My go to styles are puffs, two braids, two strand twists and within the last couple months I have been wearing braids and wigs as protective styles. I am not fond of wearing wigs tho. My advice is do what works for you and focus on health over length.

Hi K! Health over length for sure but I want some length to work with. As long as I can make a bun, be it real bun or faux bun, I’m good. I have grown to love wigs. I wasn’t a fan right out the gate though. Finding wigs that I was comfortable with wearing definitely helped. I’m comfortable and confident in short wigs. Not so much in long wigs. I think they look ridiculous on me.

Congratulations on your new journey! I can understand all the thoughts that are growing through your minds right now. I got really scared after the big chop. But as the months went by, I fell in love with my curls and the big hair. You got this!Nerline recently posted…4 Easy Ways to Detangle Dry, Frizzy Hair

TY so much Nerline! I kind of feel like my hair has stopped growing. While I know that’s not true, I need for the natural hair to get a little longer so I cut some more relaxed hair. I’m noticing my crown is growing so much slow than the rest of my hair.

After a while, one gets tired of the labels (relaxed heads, naturalistas, texlaxers). We all want healthy hair, no matter the process we use to manage our hair. Instead of Relaxed Thairapy, how about HealthyThairapy? As long as you promote hair health, all will follow. Wishing you well on your hair journey!!!

TY!! I thought about rebranding but have yet to find the right name. Relaxed Thariapy was never intended to be for relaxed hair. Hair is therapeutic (for some of us) and a relaxing experience (or should be). However, it seems many felt Relaxed was meant for relaxed hair.

Thank you so much!!! Feels like being natural is a forever and a day away (because I have no desire to big chop). Slow and steady wins the race.Jay | relaxedthairapy.com recently posted…Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself…

Hi Jay, just to concur with what most people said above, I follow u cos of ur personality, not ur hurr. Nothing changes that. I think hair health and ease of management that fits ur current life schedules, should be paramount in ur decision.

Hey Girlfriend, thank you so much for the love and support. I truly appreciate you and your support. Have a beautiful week ahead. 🙂Jay | relaxedthairapy.com recently posted…Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself…

Every step of your hair journey has been great. I agree that you can always go back to relaxed hair, but I have a feeling your natural hair and the ways you will find to style it will be the most amazing aspect of your journey yet! And as I’m sitting here commenting, I’m like totally excited for you! Lol But whatever direction you take, it will be victorious! 🙂Candra Evans recently posted…Organic Carrier Oil Gift Set Review

Jay, you have to do what’s best for you! I’ve gone natural 3 times and never was it for the desire of being natural but to regrow a healthy head of hair (bad haircut and coloring). I have since returned to a relaxer and have vowed to NEVER return to natural. I have always loved my hair relaxed! It’s who I am. I look in the mirror and see me! Everytime I was natural, I wasn’t truly happy with my hair. However, I got caught up in the natural hair rhetoric and lost focus on my hair goals. My hair was always healthier with a relaxer than without!!

Well, that’s my soapbox…lol!

Jay, I just encourage you to be true to you and your hair goals……with or without the support of anyone else! And only those who truly care will support you either way!

Hi Christal, you said a mouthful of pure truth. I’ve lost some but gained other subscribers. Those that are here for me will be here no matter what and I appreciate the love. With everything that’s going on with my husband’s health, being natural has made things easier. Lately, we’ve spent more time on the road for medical trips than home. Therefore, I’m glad I don’t have to worry about finding a salon to get my touch-up. Natural hair isn’t the easiest when it comes to wash day but when looking at it from a total package standpoint, it’s the best decision for me right now. I love, love, love relaxed hair. Always will. I do miss it…some days I miss it a lot. However, my hair would have fallen out by now. My relaxed hair never did well when under a lot of stress and it surely didn’t do well with neglect. I’ve gone upwards to almost two months without washing my natural hair when things were really bad with his health and my natural hair was unbothered. Thank goodness.