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4/05/2013

Today's letter is E, and we're looking at a match between the Espionage personality (Daniel Craig) with the Sales(wo)man personality (Catherine Zeta-Jones).The Espionage personality is more frequently male than female
and is seen, in movies and books, as a wizard, alchemist, mad scientist, spy or
investigator. They’re secretive loners with a unique view of life. In books or
movies where this personality type is the hero, he or she is often a brilliant
thinker redeemed by love. The genres will include horror, spy, thrillers,
mysteries, noir and dark fantasy. Read about theEspionage(secretive, spy-like) personality.

The Sales(wo)man personality is also more often a male type, but
not always. The Salesperson personality is the charmer, the hippie, the
adventurer. As with all types, Salesperson has its own inner demons.
Non-commital risk-takers, they will skim over the top of life as long as
possible, but they will eventually come face-to-face with something or someone
they cannot seduce with their charm. This person, thing, or event will teach
them some of the things they need to learn.

So what might a relationship between
Daniel Craig and Catherine Zeta Jones, or two people exhibiting these
personality types, look like?

Both are mental types who like to talk about ideas. The
Espionage personality is more objective, more keenly observant, more
independent, than the Salesperson. Very intelligent, he’s often whimsical or
quirky, loves intellectual pursuits, and hates social events.

The
Salesperson personality is also independent, quick and bright, but more
physically active, happy and social—maybe even the life of the party. He’s more
grounded than she is, and she needs that grounding, and the ability to see a
project to completion. In social situations, she’ll smooth the waters for him.

She loves to
do things—travel, take classes, work on many projects at the same time. He
loves to be by himself, to pursue the knowledge and to sort his feelings. But
because of her independence, she doesn’t mind. He’ll enjoy her pursuits
vicariously. Neither needs a lot of time together.

Intimacy
will be expressed through a common vision or commitment to their children. In
the security of his home, he’ll be a powerful force in the family.

He’s frugal
whereas she’s a spendthrift. She’ll help him be less stingy with his time,
energy, momey and experiences. He’ll help temper her expectations, so she won’t
be overly disappointed when life isn’t as big or as grand as she’d hoped.

As head or
thought types, they’re also fear types, but they handle their fears in
different ways. They will also confuse thinking with feeling. He won’t notice
when thought replaces feeling. She won’t see her activity-seeking behaviors as
her means of escaping her fears. Both routinely divert their attention from
their emotions. She’ll distract herself; he’ll detach.

If there
were issues between them, it would be because he takes a scarcity view of
life, which increases with the amount of stress he’s feeling. Stressed out, he
becomes reclusive, detaching from relationships, and even from himself. He
becomes a mind in an unused body.

Although she’s also a head type, she is also very much an action type. In
fact, she reacts to stress by flight—excessive action, so as not to have to
face what’s eating at her. If there’s anything he can’t stand, and that even
frightens him, it’s someone who seems physically or emotionally out of control,
as she does when stressed out.

On the other hand, disappointed with the way he goes into his shell when
stressed, she will become demanding and pushy, which spirals him further into
himself. Whereas a Nurturer personality might wait an Espionage personality
hand and foot to get his attention, and a Drama Queen might be emotionally
expressive (anger, crying jags), the Saleswoman personality will physically act
out. An addictive personality, she might abuse alcohol or drugs, or go on a
spending spree, or stay out all night partying. Instead of drawing him closer, that
will further alienate him. He’ll lose trust in her. She’ll think the
relationship isn’t vibrant enough; he’ll think it isn’t deep enough.

If he goes ever more deeply into his private interests, and she is ever
more often away from home, the relationship could be doomed. For all to be well
again, he needs to learn to put more time, energy and excitement into the
relationship. She needs to be more single-minded and to commit to it.