i'm really such a lady

“Rhode Island won the war or battle thing”

I spent most of last week in my home state, Maine. I’ve lived in Rhode Island for the past four years or so, and I’ve liked it for the most part, but going home had me itching to move back to Vacationland.

I currently have two friends in Rhode Island. I have at least 3 times that in Maine!

The worst I have to worry about in the Saco River (other than the three dead white men curse) is leeches (which recently sucked my blood for the first time) — none of those flesh-dwelling Galilee sand fleas there!

I have a bedroom in Maine. Sure, maybe my oldest sister painted it baby blue and plastered paper dragonflies all over the place without my consent, but it’s a real bedroom! With a real 20-year-old twin bed! No more trailer lofts and air mattresses for me!

I was so ready to reclaim Maine as my home that I actually started cleaning out my bedroom closet in preparation for my return. It was there, in a box jammed in the back corner, that I found my Academic Fair research paper from 3rd grade. If this wasn’t a sign to stay in Rhode Island, then I don’t know what is. Here’s the original copy:

Some highlights:

“Rhode Island in the 1800’s had many governors. There were like 15 or more…or less…governors just in the 1800’s.”

“When they went fishing in the seas, they would catch huge fish. There was one man that I know of who caught a sawfish that was nearly 11 feet long and a little bit more than half a foot wide.”

“There was a battle in the little state of Rhode Island on August 20, 1778. The people of Rhode Island battled and fought against the French. The map of the battle was written in French writing. It must have been the French map or something. On the map there was Newport and Gull Rock and many, many bays, spelled like this ‘baye.’ I’m pretty sure that Rhode Island won the war or battle thing. But, I am not positive.”

“Roger Williams had long hair, a long coat, mean eyes, a girlie skirt, long puffy shorts, and funky looking shoes.”