DISPOSALAfter death, I will be dead. So it doesn't matter. I would like to stay here, though. Home at univeristy in Lampeter. I hear there's Shamans around who commune with the dead and I've always wanted to have a chat with them

COFFIN

RELIGIONReligion is the most important thing in my life. A drive, a meaning. A reason to get up in the morning when I've given up on everything and all that remains is stubbornness.
At my funeral, I want selected readings from Liber AL Legis of the Thelemites, and the Principia Discordia of the Discordians. Avoid God and the after life. I don't care for them overly.

GUESTS

MUSICI hate hymns. Let James and Chris handle the music. But put some good experimental noise going on when the coffin is incinerated.

READINGSLiber AL Legis 1:61-65 Especially the bits on pride and splendour being good and Nuit saying "I love you! I yearn to you! Pale or purple, veiled or volumptuous, I who am all pleasure and purple, and drunkenness of the innermost sense, desire you."
Liber Al 2:9 "Remember ye that existence is pure joy; that all sorrows are but as shadows; they pass and are done. But there is that which remains."
Find something suitably irreverent for the Discordian Contribution.

EPITAPH

OBITUARYYesterday, Joseph Norwood left this world. He is survived by six and a half billion other human beings and an extensive extended family.
In life, Joe collected headless Buddha statues, doodled during lectures and travelling about the place meeting new people.
Joe enjoyed getting drunk and shouting, risking his life and money on brain dead schemes and he loved his home.
He lived his life to benefit his community and to find God. But he ended up spending a large part of it taking socially acceptable drugs or role playing.

OTHERThere probably won't be a priest around to conduct my funeral. I'd like someone from my community to do it, ideally. Someone I trust.