Mothers, Stop Shaming Your Beautiful Bodies!

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Today I would like to talk about something that is personal and incredibly important. Not just to me, but to women everywhere. More specifically, I want to address Mom's everywhere.

It's a subject that hits close to home and I see it on a daily basis and it seriously just makes me sad. I wrote an Instagram post about it a couple weeks ago, which you can read here, but I want to dive into it more.

My entire life I have been told I was pretty. Even if it was just
from family members. Even if it was just from boys that fancied me. I've
heard it my whole life.. but that didn't help my view of myself.
At all. I still always looked at myself as something unworthy, in image
& personality.

This led to many body image issues & depression
starting in my teens. Mind
you, I have been a mother since I was 17 years old. I have had a "mom
body" since before I was an adult. So calculate that into body image
issues and I'll tell ya-- not fun. I have stretch marks from rib cage
down & I've been breastfeeding for about 9 years. I cannot remember
what my body looked like prior to 17.

Forever tummy pooch life

I always needed to be thinner. I didn't want pictures taken of myself. I honestly hated if people told me that I was pretty, because I felt like I was being lied to. I remember wanting to destroy photos of myself when I was just 11 years old because I made a silly face in one and never wanted another soul to see it. These issues also attracted abusive people into my world, which further fed into the self-hating inner dialogue.. cuz now I was hearing it out loud, too.

I had food issues. I
didn't overeat & I didn't purposely under-eat.. I just wasn't too
enthusiastic about the idea of eating a meal. Between that and the state
of my mental health, I was a mess. I dropped weight and got to my
smallest size and still never thought I wasn't fat & unattractive & unworthy. That before & after can be seen here.

It
wasn't until I got away from people who purposely brought me down and
started to change my own mindset that I was able to look at myself in a
different light. To view myself as someone worthy of..anything. I'm sharing this all with you because it is a very serious offense that is being done every single day..

Body shaming.

I'm not talking about women bashing other women's bodies (tho I have seen it). I'm not talking about guys bashing women's bodies. No, I want to talk about you body shaming your body.

How are women doing this, you may ask?
It's so simple. It's such subtle comments/posts that are made. Especially in babywearing groups & breastfeeding groups. Comments such as these:

"Excuse my tummy pooch"

"Ignore how fat I look here"

"Don't mind my big arms"

"So I look like a troll, but..."

Why are we saying these things about ourselves?! What kind of dialogue is this opening for others to say about us? What kind of inner-dialogue, thoughts & feelings are we instilling in our children? The more a person hears something, the more it becomes real. For you. For others.

Ladies, please stop doing this. You're amazing. Do you know that? I'm so serious. You are amazing. You do amazing things every. single. day. You grow lives inside you. You birth them (however you birth them). Or you choose to adopt a life into your own. You feed them (however you feed them). You remember to feed yourself. Sometimes you even remember self-care for your beautiful body. You have warrior marks from the incredible being that YOU ARE. And for these mom's that are breastfeeding and are babywearing--- seriously? That is some hard work! I know! I've been nursing and child-wearing for a VERY long time!

Unkempt and awesome

I don't understand why we put ourselves down in this manner. Why we feel the need to have people look past our greasy hair, bare face, tummy pudge, or anything else. Why? We're allowed to look that way. And you know what? We're freaking awesome in our leggings, messy hair, bare face, and coffee-chugging ways! However you get through your day with semi-functionality, is the right way for you. YOU are awesome! YOU don't need to compare yourself to anyone else to feel like you are enough! Remember that!

Remember it for you. Remember it for your significant other. Remember it for your children. Carry it with you. Always. Write a note that you keep in your purse. Put it as your background on your phone. Your screensaver on the laptop. A daily text reminder. On your fridge. On your steering wheel. Inside your shoe--I don't care. Carry that message with you always. You are amazing, incredible, beautiful, strong, fierce, a seriously wonderful thing to behold!

Today, I am able to accept compliments. I'm able to respect this body that has grown children, birthed them, fed them, and carried them. I'm able to respect the body that has kept ME going! Through thick and thin, times of chaos and times of peace.. this body has kept me going. All because I changed my inner dialogue. I stopped shaming me. Now, I don't focus on my weight to be "skinny".. I work to be healthier and whatever I look like from that work, is what it is.

I truly, sincerely hope that all of you are able to do the same. Because you're awesome.

- A Geeky Ginger -

What are some body image issues that you have fought to overcome? Share in the comments!

Absolutely. It's a matter of *how* you love your body. Do you love it only when it *looks* a certain way, or do you love it for being your body? I want change for my body, but it is mostly surrounding my health and the way it functions. I know I will lose weight from focusing on my health, and that is fine. But it isn't my ultimate goal :)

Yes! I so needed this! I am currently 4 months postpartum from my 2nd baby, and everyone keeps telling me I bounced back so quick, and that I look great. I just keep seeing the number on the scale that did not bounce back. I am working so had to accept myself the way I am though, because I really do look pretty amazing for what I go through with my kids! Thank you so much for this!

I felt the same way after my 2nd.. because with my first, I was 17 years old and had amazing metabolism lol. So I got thinner than my pre-pregnancy weight. With my 2nd it took more work. I did lose a lot of weight, but I have gained so much since then. But my health has also deteriorated... so I've got a lot of work to do lol.I hope you can accept you for you.. in whatever form that may be!

Beautiful! Yes. I love this. I've learned to embrace my red hair (yes, my sister) and the fact that I am short and will always have curves and some meat on my bones. I'm so happy that we are finally seeing women embrace the beauty of all body types. I'm going to share this awesome post.

Yassssss girl! Redheads unite <3 lol. It can be hard to be surrounded by "supposed to's" and not let ourselves fall into it. I look the way I look.. that's all there is to it lol. I'm a pale ginger with ever more freckles and I always will be (one day I will just be one big freckle and I will appear tan, I think XD). My weight fluctuates and it always has. But I'm happier the healthier I am.. and that is so much more important than any physical appearance. Thanks for reading/sharing!

Great post! I also personally think society as a whole puts too much emphasis on outer appearance, and not enough on the inside of us. However, I also believe God made each of us unique and beautiful on the outside in different ways.