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My version of the "I am your father" scene from ESB after Ep 3

Luke is hanging on a pole attached to a platform underground Cloud City, losing lots of blood where Darth Vader had just cut his hand off.
Vaderid Obi-Wan tell you anything about your father?
Luke:Yes! He said he wouldn't listen to anything he would tell him..AAAAH
Vader: What else....
Luke:He said that he was this bigshot Jedi on the Holo Net all the while acting like a primadonna always shouting that "He was the Master" and that the "Council was jealous of him because of his powers"...OOOOOFFFFF.....
Vader: THEY WERE.. BUNCH OF LOSER M .... I mean please continue...
Luke:eeeeek....He said..He said..ouch...said that he had gotten a hot, snobby, fat,Senator much older than him pregnant while at the same time hanging around the Emperor playing dress up and who knows what else while mom was pregnant with me and Leia my lost sister. Whoever that is?
Vader: PRINCESS LEIA....
Luke: Probably not, but she likes Han Solo....WHY NOT ME ?
Vader:You're better off....She talks too much...like her father Bail
Luke:Obi-Wan said that the only thing wrong above all is that he had the time and opportunity to kill Senator JAR-JAR BINKS...and he didn't.....Yoda agreed!
Vader: YOU KNOW YODA!!! THAT EXPLAINS A LOT....
Luke: I killed you.. in the CAVE but when your mask exploded, it was my face!
Vader:What? Oh THAT cave. I fought you and my face, ny true face came out
Luke:What does that mean....
Obi-Wan's ghost: It means that you and He are related to each other!
Luke: Ben BENNNNN...Look what HE DID TO ME
Obi-Wan's ghost:He cut your arm off...Reminds me of the time when Count Dooku cut off his hand in the same matter also? Luke, you like your father Vader did not listen to me when I tried to warn you both about fighting someone more experienced than you.
Vader: OH YEAH? WHAT ABOUT THE TIME I SAVED YOU FROM THE VENTRIS WOMAN, Or about the trap that Dooku set...
Obi-Wan: EnOUGh..Anakin!
Vader: THAT NAME NO LONGER HAS ANY MEANING FOR ME!
Luke:So you were once Anakin Skywalker.......MY FAHTER!
Vader: Join me Luke! Together we will overthrow the Emperor and we may rule the Empire....FAHTER and SON.
Luke: NOOOOO! I'VE SEEN THE FUTURE I CHOP OFF YOUR ARM AND YOU THROW THE EMPEROR OVER THE SIDE OF A SCAFFOLDING IN ...THE NEW DEATH STAR.....YOU BUILT A NEW DEATH STAR....I MUST WARN THE OTHERRRS! NO WAIT YOU WILL DIE I CAN'T LOSE YOU I JUST FOUND YOU!
Vader: Many Bothan Spies will die when the Emperor allows them to take the plans for the new Death Star.
Luke: You're RIGHT PRINCESS LEIA IS MY SISTER. From her and Han Solo the Jedi will rise again and I will be married to the Emperor's handmaiden, Jade, and have Sith children which will be tempted to ..I CAN'T HOLD On AAAAAAAhh (Luke falls down the shaft.)
Vader: SON!!! MY SON!! NOOOOOOOOO!

Last edited by MaquisWarrior; 04-27-2005 at 02:27 AM.

Maury: The DNA evidence has come back.... and LUKE.... He is your father!!!!
Luke: NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!