Tuesday, September 6, 2011

back to school blues

i keep tearing up tonight. i keep seeing little status updates as my friends send their kids back to school. some are sending their kids for the last time - hello grade 12 - and some are sending them for the first time - sweet little primary! i think every single mom feels the twinge.

there's something about the first day of a new school year that marks time passing like nothing else in the world. more than birthdays, more than milestones, more than notches on the height chart.

there's something sweet but aching in the relentless march of time. it's that smell of indoor sneakers, markers, and new lunchboxes. it's that look - the one over the shoulder as they climb on the bus. it's the excitement of moms set free from the tyranny of summer, and the lump-in-the-throat goodbye for six whole hours.

life is a big funny agony, isn't it?

sometimes i get tired of wearing the big-girl clothes, and want to slip back into my feetie pyjamas and curl up beside the wood stove. i'd like to be in the perfect moment: dad snoozing on the couch, my mom doing my hair, my brother vroom-vrooming toy cars on the carpet, and my sisters giggling on the phone with their friends.

tomorrow i'm going to snuggle with sam on the floor and adore him every minute. and i'm going to close my eyes and thank God that the first day of school is still a long, long, long, way away.

Awwws. I don't know what it's like to send off children to the bus stop, but I remember how nervous I was as a kid. I wanted to turn right around and go home. But I guess school really isn't so bad, haha.