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“Hello, boys and girls, and welcome to World of Animals. I’m your host Terrapene carolina yucatana; call me Carl. Looks like Mark and Rusty will be tied up for a while, so let’s take this time to explore Nature Facts from the wonderful World of Animals!”

Mutts, 7/7/18

“Did you know that a possum will eat a waffle if one is available? I mean, they’re marsupials, but they’re not stupid!“

Pluggers, 7/7/18

“Did you know that, like turtles, many birds have excellent color vision? It’s true! In the 1950’s scientist George Wald isolated the visual pigment iodopsin by surgically removing the eyes from thousands of chicken heads obtained from a Massachusetts slaughterh … what? Oh, sorry.”

“Wait a minute, something’s wrong here. Skateboarding is strictly prohibited on public sidewalks, for the protection of slower-moving species! And I don’t see a tax stamp on those sugary drinks! Finally, are those plastic straws? These skaters belong in jail, and I’d say a certain mammal isn’t doing his job!”

Sherman’s Lagoon, 7/7/18

“Now it’s time for our special segment, Animals and Technology. Bandwidth capacity is increasing without limit, so unless something is done quickly the entire Internet will soon fill up completely with cats! Do your part to avert catastrophe, by viewing adorable turtle videos instead. Thank you!”

Red and Rover, 7/7/18

“Well, that’s all we have time for today. Tune in again next time, and thank you for being kind to animals!”