First Nations audit of Federal Government reveals billions in mismanaged funds

OTTAWA - The Canadian Government has been mismanaging funds for over 140 years according to a damaging audit commissioned by the First Nations released this morning.

The audit, conducted by a private auditing firm, says the Canadian Government had difficulty maintaining satisfactory records, and cited numerous examples of questionable spending practices dating as far back as 1867, and ranging from money spent on school pencil sharpeners, WWI, the auto industry, prisons, unnecessary F-35 fighter jets, and, most recently, the high price tag for hiring Deloitte and Touche to audit First Nations spending practices.

According to a portion of the audit, “the practice of diverting funds to corporations and individuals” without properly accounting for them is a practice that “has plagued all branches of government across the country since its existence, from former and current city mayors, to MPs, to the very first Prime Minister, Sir John A. Macdonald, who accepted bribes in return for federal investments.”

Even worse, the audit continued, “many top paid politicians are known to show up for work only half the time, yet there is no system in place to correct for this type of wasteful spending.”

The audit also revealed a questionable practice of distributing funds for housing, and highlighted many examples of political party leaders receiving big mansions while many across the country live in sub-par housing, or condemned homes, and many live on the streets with no housing at all.

“A housing scheme has been in place for many years which allots political leaders extravagant homes on big properties even though much of the population is barely able to afford the cost of renting tiny, poorly maintained, mouldy basement apartments,” the audit read in part. The Prime Minister’s residence at 24 Sussex Drive, the Leader of the Opposition’s Stornoway home, and the 50,000 sq. ft. mansion where the Governor General resides were some of the most glaring examples of unjust allotment of housing funds.

Yet the most damaging portion of the audit shows how public funds are often redirected into redundant projects, such as spending millions on trying to assimilate Aboriginal people, then spending billions on trying to reverse the work that had been done.

The release of the audit, which the First Nations say was not politically motivated, forced the Prime Minister to answer uncomfortable questions about spending in his community.

“At the end of the day, we cannot deny that we have been mismanaging public funds and resources rightfully belonging to First Nations for years,” said Mr. Harper. “Yet the best answer to these financial and human rights issues is to continue to allow things to get so bad that the voting public will eventually believe there is nothing that can be done save for doing nothing at all.”

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