Title: Branded by Roses
Author: Di-Ana Wolf
Email: di-ana_wolf@wolfenet.com
Pairing(s): Obi-Wan/Anakin
Rating: R
Archive/Distribution: CoC, ff.net, O-A archive; fabulae, and M_A, if they
want it. Anyone else, please ask.
Category: Angst, Slight Romance
Summary: Sometimes not knowing what you've got until it's gone isn't the
problem; knowing what you've lost is.
Warnings: If you need "c" with your "h" and/or happy endings this fic is not
for you. A little bit of blood plus Bastard!Ani (are these promises or
warnings?).
Feedback: Roses are red, violets are blue, a naked Jedi in bed, is what
feedback gets you. (*Ahem* Yes, please onlist or offlist; constructive crit
welcomed offlist.)
Disclaimers: Anakin and Obi-Wan belong to George. All hail George. No
money being made off this, don't sue.
Thanks: to you for reading it, to angel, Azarad and Athena for betaing it,
and to all of CMW *mwuah* Love you guys.
Authorís Notes: Response to "Angsty Anakin in August" Challenge from the O-A
list. This part is mostly Anakin's perspective.
_ denotes italics and Anakin's memories _

~*~*~*~*~

Anakin was lying down on the bed in his private quarters. He ran his
fingertips lingeringly over the wall, the only barrier physically separating
him from Obi-Wan. His hand dropped down to his chest, and he traced the
character that Obi had carved over his solar plexus with soft fingertips.
Even through his clothes, Anakin knew exactly where the light scar was.

He rolled over and lightly touched the small wooden box that lay on the
table beside him. One of the few precious and rare things he had on this
planet that was dominated by metal and glass. And that box held even more
precious things; rare gifts that his Master had given him before...that
happened.

It had only been a few days ago. Anakin and Obi-Wan were sitting on the
couch in the main room, his head resting on Obi-Wan's chest while Obi talked
about the things they were to do that day. He turned his head, softly
nuzzling his nose into the tunics, listening to the deep rumble as Obi-Wan
continued. Training, class, midday meal, sparring, meditation, more class,
yes yes he understood.

Obi-Wan laughed softly at the mumbled response. Anakin kept nuzzling until
he rested his cheek against bare skin. He had kissed Obi's skin softly
before joining his Master in the soft laughter, and Obi had placed a soft
lingering kiss onto the sharp spikes of his Padawan hair cut before pulling
him closer. Anakin loved this spot, loved the smell of Obi-Wan's bare skin,
like sage and sandalwood.

He had been happy. The kiss to his head went on a little too long.

Until Obi-Wan pushed him up, and those words fell from lips he had kissed,
fell from lips that he loved. "We need to talk, Anakin, Padawan."

Obi-Wan obviously wanted his dutiful Padawan, probably needed to discuss
some council meeting that Obi had. "Yes, Master?" He couldn't help batting
his eyelashes just a little bit, playfully, teasing his too beautiful Master.

The playfulness faded when Anakin saw no mirth in those blue-green depths of
Obi-Wan's eyes. They were solemn now, almost... sorrowful. Anakin's brows
came together, almost frowning. The Force spiked, the barest hint that
something was wrong.

"This has to end."

The words packed a punch that fell squarely to his gut. They still packed a
punch that knocked his breath straight out of him. The rest of the words
faded into the background, leaving only those four words. Those four words
that had ended his happiness, his innocence, and left behind only a weeping
void.

As Anakin pulled the lid of the box, he also shut the memory of those four
words out, and picked up the first rose Obi-Wan had given him. Maybe the
memory of the roses would help ease the ache that he felt soul-deep, maybe
fill the void with the love and the laughter that he had shared with Obi-Wan.

It was pure white, the edges untouched by decay. Anakin had used a simple
touch of Force, preserving it when it had reached full bloom, before the
petals had begun to fall off, and the rose die.

He remembered the rose well.

Obi-Wan had picked it up the day they decided was The Day. The day that
they would go beyond the fevered kisses, the lingering touches, the harsh
cries when their bodies would separate and they would each go into their own
private quarters, hot and unsatisfied.

The rose had not begun to bloom when Obi had traced the fine white petals
over his lips, over the swell of his chin, and down his throat. Obi-Wan had
kissed along the path the rose made, whispering soft endearments before
sitting up, the delicate flower held between thumb and forefinger. It was
then that he had carved the character into Anakin's chest using a single
thorn from the rose. 'Eternal love,' he said, smiling down at Anakin before
he scooped a single drop of Anakin's blood off his chest and placed it on
the rose.

He laved the cruel cut of the rose with his tongue before they made love in
Obi-Wan's quarters in the too-bright Coruscant night.

Anakin set the rose back in the wooden box. It was not easing his pain.
His fingertips drifted over the red rose that Obi had given him on their
first anniversary. Anakin had carved the same character over Obi-Wan's
solar plexus with a thorn from that rose. A dark spot marked one petal;
that's where he had placed a drop of Obi's blood.

Farther down, a red and white rose, one of Anakin's favorites. It held a
single mingled drop of their blood, he could still feel the essence of their
mixed Force signature. 'Purity and passion,' Obi said when he pricked both
their fingers to make that drop. Another searing tear streamed down Anakin
s cheek. This was not the rose he was looking for either.

His fingers drifted over the last rose in the box. Fine satin petals under
his fingertips, this was the rose he was looking for, the one that held the
memory he wanted. He plucked it delicately from its' resting place, and
twirled the stem in his fingertips.

Obi-Wan had gotten this rose for him when they had completed a mission. The
petals were green near the stem, like Anakin's first lightsabre, and
darkened into a blue like Obi's at the tips. He could still remember
receiving this one perfectly.

The memory was whole and sweet.

_He had been walking down the street, looking for his Master. Negotiations
were over, and the people on this planet were celebrating. Anakin was so
happy he could have skipped down the street. Tomorrow they would leave for
Coruscant, going back home, where he could feast on Obi-Wan, feel those lips
on overheated skin. Home to their quarters where they would make love all
night long and not have to worry.

He turned a corner into an alley and a large hand fell over his eyes, and
his muscles bunched and tightened, preparing for a fight when he was pulled
back against a body. Anakin knew the body he was pressed against, he knew
it almost better than he knew his own.

He felt Obi's other arm wrapping around him, holding the rose barely beneath
his nose, flush against his lips. He inhaled, and the soft fresh scent
helped him to relax into his Master's embrace. The hand had lifted from his
eyes, and he automatically looked down at the flower while Obi whispered a
soft, "Surprise" in his ear.

"It's beautiful Master," he whispered back.

Obi placed a soft kiss just below Anakin's ear, and Anakin had turned in his
arms, letting out a soft captivated cry before wrapping his arms around Obi
s neck and kissing the soft pliable lips of his Master. Obi had laughed
when they parted in need of air and grabbed him around the waist, hoisting
him up until Anakin's legs wrapped around his waist.

There was no fear in this alleyway, no need to hide their love. He smiled
down at his Master, the soft golden sunlight falling into the alley,
striking every highlight of his Master's hair, every shadow and plane on the
beloved face, and emphasizing the golden flecks in his green-blue eyes.

They made love again that night, in a meadow, away from the capital city,
beneath the stars and the moon. They had made love until they were sore and
no amount of Force would help. Obi-Wan had curled around Anakin, sheltering
him, protecting him, and that night Anakin swore that the universe consisted
of only one thing -- their love for one another.

When the sun rose the next morning they had made love again on the grass.
The sky was gold and pink and lavendar, and the first rays of the sun
caressed them, sealed them, made them whole. _

Anakin held the rose just beneath his nose, the smell still fresh, and
pressed the stem against bare chest.

_"Just a dare Anakin."_

He felt the sharp prick of the thorn pressing into his skin, in the center
of the character that Obi-Wan had carved into his flesh. A character that
would forever be carved into his soul.

_"It's just a kiss."_

Anakin drove the thorn in deeper, wanting the pain to distract him from
these memories. The memories of a night where he had foolishly taken a dare
Maybe the pain would cleanse him, cleanse his soul, rip the hated memories
from his mind and leave him only with memories of his time with Obi-Wan.

_Hands warm and hot all over him. It was just supposed to be a kiss, but
there were mouths all over him. Devouring, licking, sucking, biting mouths
that made his blood boil. Lips and tongues and teeth that promised him
bliss and delivered him into his own private hell._

Anakin fought hard to remember only he and Obi-Wan, together, two halves of
the same whole, but tears still slipped down his cheeks unchecked. Obi had
ended their relationship; he was left with only roses and tears and the
whispered echoes of Obi-Wan's voice that had shattered what hope he had left
"I saw you last night Anakin. I saw you with them."