I’m listening to nothing but Linkin Park today. Which was basically what I did through ages 10 to 16. When I was a freshman in high school, there was an obsessive, 2 months period where I wanted nothing more than to put Linkin Park lyrics in my Friendster profile. There weren’t many platforms or social media you could able to express yourself online; this was before Facebook, or MySpace, or even the Instagram. Linkin Park was a band that grew up with me.

All day I haven’t been able to put my emotions into words over the death of Chester from Linkin Park. I feel like a huge part of my youth has just been silenced.

The reason why I loved Linkin Park so much because their songs reached deep into dark corners, and, under the guise of sweet beats, smart lyrics, and catchy phrases, they ripped that darkness out, gave it light and let me know that I wasn’t alone. Empowered, when I screamed their words, they became my words. But of all lyrics, there’s much more behind Chester’s given voice. Today, I came to realize those lyrics are a warning, a siren call, an artist screaming for help.

My heart breaks for him. For his friends. For his family. For his fans who are affected. But more than that for him especially. Whenever I read stories like these, I think I wish I could have spoken to them. I wish I could have been there. I hate that their last moments were that of loneliness and desperation. Desperate for searching for a way to numb the pain they feel.

If you ask me, I don’t believe suicide is the cause of death. I think loneliness is. I think pain is. I think overwhelming sadness is. But more than that, it’s people’s reaction that makes everyone fight these battles and Satan alone.

When depression plagues your mind to a point where it seems like a solution to rid you of pain, rid your family of worry, rid yourself of another long night not sleeping, that what leads to a suicide attempt.

There’s always someone thinking they are a burden. Someone thinking they are too much to handle. Someone thinking they are alone because Satan inside their head feeding them lies. And they believe it. And they look for a solution. Then end everything.

But what I can tell you and anyone who has ever thought suicide to be the solution, it is a solution to a temporary problem because these heavy things you are feeling will fade away. I assured you because I’ve been through, because I’ve fought through every shattered piece of my life.

My friends might not have understood, no one might ever understand, but I am not asking for understanding, I’m just asking for love and care, and an open heart.

What I can promise is that these thoughts you are having will pass. I ask you not to act in those moments where darkness is consuming you but just keep trying. And I know exactly how hard it is. You look towards the future and the thought of just getting through the day pains you. But there are things ahead, moments in your future, memories you need to be a part of, memories you need to create and people you need to be with. I need you to find the strength to get there.

People think negatively of people who kill themselves, they think they’re cowards and some believe that they’re going to hell. That suicide is selfish, and that attempted suicide is just to get attention. I don’t think that, I think for some people, they feel that dying is better than suffering. That sometimes life gets the best of you, that no one can understand what you’re going through. Sometimes it is to get attention, for people to know that you are hurting, that you aren’t as strong as you seem to be, that you aren’t always the strong pillar among the crowd. But I made it, and so can you. There is so much beauty and love in this world, and you can’t let the Satan drown you.

It takes strength to feel the things you do so heavily. I just need you to channel that strength into not an outlet of self-destruction but rather finding a solution. And that solution is simply taking a long deep breathe, one step ahead even if it’s small, even if it’s slow.

We all have bad days but the thing to remember is it’s a bad day, not a bad life and I promise you it will get better.

I promise you things will change.

I promise you everything will be okay if you keep fighting.

But you need to keep fighting.

I made it, and so can you.

For people who don’t understand why others mourn the death of artist, you need to understand that these people have been a shoulder to lean on, to cry on. Our rock. They’ve been friends, family, leaders, teachers and role models. Many have taught us what we need to know and what to do when times get rough. They’ve pushed us out of bed. They’ve helped us moved on. They gave us the silver lining. They’ve helped us lived when nobody else had the time to. Artists have inspired us in endless ways and have been with us through stages in our lives. We’ve made memories with them, so when they die, a part of us dies.

Thank you for everything, Chester. Goodbye and we hope from the bottom of our hearts that you’ve escaped Satan. Rest in peace.