Fragments of a fading memory

Journal entry 19/12/2017

[8:04]

Laundry has been hung and I’ve spent the last 30 minutes outside wondering around. The weather seems nice; sunny but also a couple of clouds up there, a gentle breeze. It’s only going to get hotter now that it’s summer. I love how peaceful it is right now, not too much noise and my neighbors are getting ready for work. I’m going to sit out here for a couple more minutes and then I’ll go brush my teeth and get ready for breakfast.

[10:09]

Finished breakfast. I had wheat biscuits with milk. Doesn’t sound like the most appetizing thing to eat and honestly it does look like saw dust. Been on my computer for a bit and I just got a note saying my parcel was not delivered because it needed a signature. It’s so annoying because I didn’t even get an email to track it and now I have to get it redelivered tomorrow morning. Good thing I don’t have to pay extra and this time it has the option to let the courier sign for and leave my parcel, this way I just have to wait for the notification and I can go get it. Yes, I’m lazy and I like to avoid any human interaction, but it’s also convenient for me since I almost never get the chance to answer the door because I don’t know the exact time they will show up, hence why I needed the notification for the tracking number so I could request them to leave my parcel. Sometimes, it all depends on the company they chose for the delivery because some of them notifies you of the tracking number so you can get them to leave your parcel, but some days like this one, they choose a different company. I don’t blame them because it is so close to Christmas and everyone is trying to rush their deliveries. Anyways, like yesterday I’m going to be watching YouTube videos and checking for any Anime and comic updates.

[12:56]

Just made a tuna sandwich for lunch. Buttered every slice of bread, mango and chili canned tuna on one slice, mayo on the other and mozzarella cheese sandwiched between them. It was alright, didn’t really taste the mango and there was just a little spice to it. A little watery so it’s best to avoid buying this again. I bought 10 different flavors of tuna yesterday and I’m trying them all out to see which ones I like. Avoiding the very spicy ones, as much as I like them my stomach feels a bit uneasy. I also avoided buying ones that are stored in water rather than oil to prevent the bread from going soggy, unless I plan on cooking with it.

[14:06]

Snacking on cashews and watching YouTube videos. Gonna check on Netflix to see what there is to watch, maybe another TV series or a couple movies perhaps?

[18:23]

So I watched a movie called Babysitter on Netflix. Didn’t like it haha. It had it’s moments, but there were a lot of parts in it that frustrated me, like when the main character tried to escape. You’ll know when you watch it.

Right about now we should be getting ready for dinner, but it doesn’t seem like my step father is cooking. I don’t know if it’s a pride thing or what, because this happens at least 2 times a week give or take. If you’re so unhappy about living here, why not just leave? No one’s holding you back and it’s not like you want to be here, so why play these little games if you could just straight up leave? Why are human beings so difficult? Well, I studied psychology, so I can’t really get too mad about it.

We’ll see what happens within the next hour or so.

[19:50]

Well, he didn’t cook dinner and I can’t be bothered cooking either, so I guess I’ll just drink water. I don’t know what’s more irritating, him not cooking or not telling us that he’s not doing anything. What is this, charades? I’m not a physic.

[20:35]

Turn out my step father and half brother are making dumplings while I have to cook for myself. Same thing happened last week. What a wonderful family I have. Parasites.

Don’t have anything planned for tomorrow except getting my parcel and probably get a haircut maybe. Uncle called today and said he’ll take us to a salon sometime this week and he’ll notify us once he’s made a booking. The salon is owned and run by a family friend and we’ve been frequent customers.

It feels like my life is falling apart each day and it keeps getting worst. I can’t remember that time I was genuinely happy. Sure, I laugh here and there and say how much I love this that or the other, but nothing gives me joy, at least in the past 3 years and I don’t now how to deal with that aside from making it into a joke. Honestly, I think the name of my blog is perfect, because all this really feels like a phase of melancholy and I’m trying to move past it. I wish I had the kind of luck to get over this, like how there was a peanut in my bag of cashews. I should’ve bought a lottery ticket haha. OMG, this one time I dropped my phone and the edge hit my toe ( . _ .)

I’m gonna spend the rest of the night listening to music and just chill, then take a shower and head to bed. If I have any dreams, I might just start a dream diary haha.

Signing out.

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