32

You unbutton my shirt as I watch your eyes tracing my skin, slide your hand under my skirt and onto my thigh. I count my breaths as your lips press into my neck. You say I make you go weak as you slip the strap off my left shoulder. My cheeks go red as you trace lines on me that will never leave,
spelling out your name,
engrained into me,
sinking deeper.

With your head in my hands, I fall back and clutch your arms as though you’ll never leave. Your palm holding me up, reaching up, fingers tangled in my hair as you mouth words we both know you’ll never mean.

But my mind feels safest when my body is under yours, overpowering these romantic lines I start to write. You glance down as I look up at you. Place your hand on my throat so I don’t get confused. Suffocate me with reasons why you make it so hard to breathe. I taste your skin and I bite my words so you won’t hear how loud my chest moves. You press my hands against the sheets but I make sure our fingers intertwine. You like the friction when you’re on me, I like how close our hearts seem to be. I wrap my arms around your shoulders so skin on skin can close this distance, but space still exists in the saddest of forms.

Rolling around, intertwining under sheets that mean too much to me, that stick to my skin when I try to leave. But I’ll do whatever you say so long as you look at me like you’ll stay.

Leaving is something I’ve always been good at. They showed me how to do it, all turning backs and slammed doors. Yelling. Screaming. Silence. Leaving with unfinished sentences, words unspoken, eyes shut. Silence.
It is never my intention to hurt you, but this is all I know it is what I do best. I look at you with forever. Forever does not exist see this is why I must leave. I have to escape before it’s too late. Nothing lasts forever, the leaving is inevitable.
I can feel your heart heavy against mine, fingers intertwined. I’ll give you this moment. This moment that you think you need, but don’t you see? We must go, leave behind these sheets soaked in deceit. Unwrap our bodies tangled with deception. I’m sorry for the false words that I speak.
But this is all I know it is what I do best. Forever does not exist see this is why I must leave.