He says besides the numbers, there are some key differences between the two states in the way divorce is carried out.

Iowa is a no fault state, meaning you have to prove your case in order to get your divorce granted.

“If the judge doesn’t find that you’ve proven your ground, then you don’t get the divorce,” said Laird.

Some other key differences: -There’s a 90-day waiting period for divorces in Iowa. – Formula for determining child support is much more complex in Iowa. -In Illinois, one judge is assigned to a case, while in Iowa a different judge may handle the hearings.

There’s a good reason for that, says Julie Carlin, Scott County Clerk of Court.

“We don’t keep them on assignments for very long periods of time because we don’t want to get them burned out,” said Carlin. “They have a constant variety.”

But, Holdren-Engh says, it didn’t necessarily work in her favor.

“There are some situations where it’s better to have the same judge because they already know the story, they know what’s happened.”

That wasn’t the only thing Sheila had a problem with when it came to the divorce proceeding.

“I know in the state of Iowa, my ex’s affair was not allowed as part of evidence. That’s horrible. They needed to know what that did to me and the kids.”

Despite all the turmoil from the divorce, Sheila’s now happily remarried.

“You don’t want to talk about him or think about the whole situation because it still brings up terrible memories. But, I have found an awesome, awesome husband and I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t been able to go on.”

To anyone going through the same thing, she has some advice.

“Find that inner strength.”

Also, find a good attorney.

Take advantage of that first free consultation with an attorney, she says.

If you think you might be headed to divorce court, start writing everything down and keep a journal that you can refer back to in court.