This morning at Starbucks, I had the temerity to order a “healthy” 12-grain bran muffin alongside a malted vanilla frappuccino topped with whipped cream (read: milkshake). There should be a word for people like me at moments like these, and I suggest that word should be:

Actually, Amy, I always quibble with that classic example, though the popcorn does strengthen it (vs. some other greasy food)—people can be unconcerned about their innards but still worried about their teeth; also some people have more digestive obvious problems with sugar (or fructose death syrup) than with butter or carbs.