From a business perspective, rejection is the best of teachers. Look over your documents. Do you see flaws in your résumé you failed to see earlier? If so, fix them. The great thing about the electronic age is that résumés can be cranked out, and out, and out. Tailor the next résumé you send out to fit the position to a T. Did your cover letter fail to sell you? Did your follow-up letter do its job?

Remember my little buddy, the soon-to-be college graduate? I wrote his résumé. After a couple of interviews without offers, he called me, whining and begging, for me to rewrite his résumé. I frankly told him that if he was getting interviews then the paperwork was just fine. It was his interviewing that failed him.

So go over the interview in your head. Don't go over it until you can repeat the errors on automatic pilot. Go over it to examine what you think you did wrong, and more so, what you know you did right. The things you did wrong are over and done. You can't undo them; you can't call up the interviewer and ask for another chance; you can't do one thing about them. Forget them because they will nurture negative energy if fed. Forget them because if you focus your attention on them, you will do them again.

Ever notice that the things you focus your attention on happen even when they are exactly what you don't want to happen? It's kind of like calling out an old lover's name when passionate with a current lover. It's something you never want to do, but you're so paranoid that it might happen that it does! Well, focusing on all the errors in an interview is pretty much the same. If you focus on them enough, they will happen again.

I talk fast. I hate talking fast. My mother talked fast, and it's how I learned to talk. With people I know well, I can pace myself. In front of a crowd, I am just fine. In fact, in college my public speaking even took awards. But when I have to meet somebody influential in my life for the first time, I am a wreck over the speed of my speech. I worry that I won't be able to sound intelligent. Of course, without fail, I trip over my words and sound like an idiot.

One time, I was in conversation with a total stranger at a party, and I was talking well. Our energy had connected, and we were soon bouncing from topic to topic with great ease. As we chatted, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that a substantial crowd of people was waiting for this man's attention. Finally, I asked him who he was. He looked a little surprised. It was apparent from the look on his face that he thought I was kidding, but I wasn't. I really didn't know who he was. He smiled and told me his name, smiled a little more, and told me his title. He was a federal judge. In fact, he was one of the five most powerful people in the state. Not knowing who he was, or what he was, I had no trouble talking with him. But once I had a grip of the situation, my tongue went every which way, and I nearly choked. Fortunately, he found the entire situation amusing.

Yes, what we focus on appears and re-appears in our lives. There are entire industries based on this premise. The diet industry comes to mind. If you think you are fat, you are going to eat like a fat person. If you think you are thin, you are going to eat like a thin person. But the multimillion-dollar diet industry tells people they are fat, so they have to eat like fat people who want to be thin. It works for a little while. Some of these folks shed a few pounds. But they still feel "fat" because they aren't eating like normal people. They return to their old eating habits. In short order, they become fatter people. This works well to fatten the wallets of the diet industry. If you want to be thin, feel thin. If you feel thin, you simply won't want to eat like a fat person.

Let It Go

Let's get back to rejection here. Don't keep your thoughts and feelings attached to the bad parts of an interview. Acknowledge them and abandon them. Focus on what you did right. Even some of the toughest cases I had to interview did something right. They were punctual, or they wore the right clothes, or they had the necessary paperwork. They did something right.

Also, keep in mind, most people do something wrong. I once interviewed three minority candidates at a company that hired few minorities at the time. These three gentlemen did everything right. They were punctual. They had résumés that were well drafted and on appropriate paper. They filled out the application with perfect penmanship. They answered all of my questions and volunteered enough information to make me believe they were personable people. I hired them on the spot. My only reservation was that they interviewed too well. Nobody interviews that well, much less three people back to back. I felt something was out of kilter.

Within days, I learned my feelings were right on the money. They had interviewed too well, and they had done it for a reason. The company had a reputation as having discriminatory hiring practices at the time. The truth was that few minorities ever applied, but that wasn't the perception from anybody walking through the operation. These three gentlemen had been coached, and coached well, by a group that was considering suing the company for unfair hiring practices. They believed that if these minority candidates couldn't get a job, no minority could get a job. They had no case because all three of these gentlemen had job offers.

The above demonstrates that interviewing is a skill. It's a skill that can be coached, self-taught, or learned in the school of hard knocks. Most people learn it in some mix of the three. Rejection is just part of the curriculum in the school of hard knocks. Learn the lesson well. Remember your strengths, what you did well, and rehearse it time and again. Rehearse in front of a mirror if that helps you get your presentation down to a smooth performance. While rehearsing it in front of a mirror, notice your performance getting better and better. See the energy you can get going when you do it well.

If you believe you have just botched an interview so badly that you want to crawl under a rock, it's time to call on a friend to do a little role-playing. Pick a friend with empathy, compassion, and some business savvy. Do a couple of mock interviews. If a friend in need isn't a friend indeed, then seek out a professional coach.

If you have been practicing the energy techniques throughout this book, it's highly unlikely you botched it badly. Your energy was probably your saving grace from a job that could have caused you months, maybe years, of frustration. Move on.