In this issue we say a fond farewell to the elfish_lad whose messages from the bottom of the pit have entertained and informed us for over a year now - good bye elf and thanks, you have been a true asset to the team! Elsewhere TheSaxlad celebrates the off-topics forum which has just racked up one million posts. Victor Sullivan also introduces us to one particular area of that forum - mafia wars.

No Dispatch would be complete without an interview and this week we are speaking to trapyoung, TOFU member, forum regular and much more besides.

Alrighty. Here it is. For the six (6) newsletter readers who actually give a snit: The Elf's last article. It's been damn fun. Thanks for reading as well as for your encouragement. It's been very much well recieved by me.

I still really can't believe it that within the first weeks of my joining CC I was sending un-asked-for articles to Sam. Not really sure what came over me. But I did it. And I gave my thoughts about stuff I had no right really having any thoughts on, but I had them anyway! So I just threw articles at him. I think he caved in under the weight of them all. Thanks mate.

And then there is Nag. Hell. I'm sure half the time we were both drunk when we were throwing material back and forth. I would look at the stuff we were talking about the next day and go, "damn... wut?!?!" Heh. Going to miss that.

I'm glad to see that the newsletter has taken off. And I really wish I had more time to write stuff. But? I suck. And I don't. So this is it.

But I will take a parting shot at CC'ers new and old... this place is a like a Pizza-Pocket. Know what I mean? A dough covered thing of meat-like squares covered in a red-like-sauce with some type of vaguely-veggy things mixed in. Damn they taste good at four (4) in the morning after way too much wine and conversation with the wife. They slide right down. I just had three (3) of them. But they aren't real. You eat a month's worth of them? You start to look like a Pizza-Pocket dude. Can't do it. Or maybe I should say... wouldn't recommend it.

CC can be like that. We get all pissy and bitchy and freak out and call each other names and pull out each others nose hairs and pee in each others Corn Flakes and get banned and foe wing-nuts and... yeah. Pizza-Pockets. Hmm. Got to mix it up. Have something that sticks to the bones. Makes no sense otherwise. Cause this ain't the Ninter-Webz. This is CC. Something completely and very much more odder. And cooler. And I would hate to loose it. Because of being hacked off about a Clan Deal. That oddly went South. Even when everyone was looking forward to it. And then? Wow. It went South and then some.

Not worth it. Not when there are so many interesting things here with regard to lack's Net Elixir.

So. Anyway. Thanks again for the chance to write. And for reading. And for joining my games. The people are the most interesting and maddening thing about this place. Hope it stays that way until the plug is pulled. And it will be pulled. Someday. Just not today.

Oh. Yeah. I had this article in the works about how the C&A thread is like this gay bar I enjoyed this one time while I was in Chi-Town. But I nixed it. Cause I didn't think you were ready for it. But I had a great time in that crazy bar. Even though I'm not even within 100 kilometers of being gay.

Maybe I'll throw that to the next editor of the newsletter out of the blue in the months to come and see what he/she does with it!

Well. That was a hell of a ride wasn’t it. 1,000,000 Posts. Who’d have thought it? Well I took some time to find out just what SIB was, what it is and why?!!!

The first person to get back on my mass pm (4 answers, 4 How many of you bums are there out there???? 4!) was Gillipig. He had many interesting things to say about SIB, and here’s a selection!

Gillipig wrote:The first of topic thread I started was about what could start WW3! I thought that Chinas future water problems would force them to conquer Southeast Asia and from there it would turn into a world war. For me it's also been some good language training since English isn't my native tongue.

So used both as language training and discussing how the world is going to end…, I still wonder how we reached a million post sometimes, the amount of takeovers and wars and ra… Ok Im going off track here. Anyways next up is 2dimes, the beauty of flame wars… lets see what he had to say…

2dimes wrote:Basically Autoload and I were the last acting 'stachers on the flame wars forum, our work there was maintaining the clan thread. Pedro (Pedronicus) was more into normal conversation so his move to off topics happened earlier and is a different story. Auto and I wandered over for a combination of DancingMustard and his pleasant chaps flow over from Flame wars, various lame wads and of course the Kramsley thread.

The eventual april fools shut down of Flame wars that "accidently" became permanent due to the desire to change the forum dynamics, left us homeless wandering around Serious Interweb Business looking for aluminum cans. There are still some that seem to wish Flame wars existed for berating site weenies, but the intent to stop flaming and its overflow to the other forums via a heavier moderating hand and the removal of Flame wars has been successful.

So a flame guru speaks out, SIB becomes a resting place for the homeless after they are chucked out of their homes… anyway, SIB doesn’t just hold it’s own forum, inside is a mystical magical… wait that’s not right… um… a Wonderful, imaginative… no not quite. Ah. The Mafia Forums, a place to lynch, kill, mutilate, recruit and destroy. Maybe gillipigs WW3 may come yet… anyway a Mafia regular was able to give us a look in. Mr. Squirrel, take it away!!

Mr.Squirrel wrote:I started playing mafia in May of 2009. I decided to join after I read few a few threads. I thought it was really cool how strategic the game was so I decided to try it out for myself. Pmchugh was the best on our forum for a while. He was a great player and had great games. Other players who are great are fircoal, ga7, and nagerous. They are some of my favorite players to play against.

My favorite mafia was a newbie game run by pmchugh. It was my first game as a mafia member and I remember liking the idea of knowing something the town didn't. The biggest mafia I ever had was the New Briarsburg game that I just modded.

As for stories... well every mafia game is its own story. You have to play to understand it. We had plenty of really funny RT games though in the past. Read through any of those if you want a funny story. P.S the mafia forums can be found here --->http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=213

Thanks Squirrel. and of course last but not least Forum games. and representing forum games we have... um. Well none of them could be bothered to get in touch we me, so I think ill do it from someone else's perspective.

Victor Sullivan(TheSaxlad) wrote:Well I think my Gameshow thread in there is top notch! There are also some really good threads in their as well like Comment on the avatar (OMG TheSaxlads avatar is soooo sexy) and another thread called Lingo! and Favourite Mod 2011... oh there all so good!!! yay for forum games!

or what he really said...

Victor Sullivan wrote:I currently have 3 successful forum game threads out there and one unsuccessful one about AndyDufresne and eating bananas that shall not be named for everyone's sake... Check out the Favorite Mod Game 2011 and score the moderators, LINGO and guess the 5-letter word, and my personal favorite, Sully's Gameshow Extraordinaire! and answer a myriad of strange but fun questions and see if you can reach the top of the scoreboard! Check out Forum Games and see what the forum has to offer! (and TheSaxlad's avatar is supa sexy)

-Sully

Well folks so there you have it, a comprehensive opinion on SIB. And of course if any of this has rustled you up a bit feel free to have a go yourself!!

What is "Mafia"?Mafia, for those of you that don't know, is a game that generally takes place in a town, where the townspeople have to determine who the mafia (or "scum") is and lynch them via a majority vote during the day and the mafia try to kill everyone at night and bluff their way out of getting killed by the town.

Mafia NewsMafia has recently become more and more "hip and happening", as players old and new come to participate in the excitement. Mr. Squirrel's "New Briarsburg Mafia" has indeed sparked a mafia revolution, since the recent spike in participation has occurred since the game. New faces, new game runners, and new mafias! Dlanor A. Knox (currently not even a cook!) won his first game and strike wolf is running his first mafia game! Come one down and check out the forum in "The Forum That Shall Not Be Named"!

Q. We all know about T.Young, but why T.R.A.P? Do you actually have four Christian names and if so have you considered playing cricket for England?

T.R.A.P stands for Thomas, Robert and Philip, the names of myself and my brothers. We made a username together for an online gaming site, but since I was the oldest, one day I booted them and kept the username.

I only have two Christian names, so I think that and my dental hygiene would disqualify me from playing cricket for England.

Q. If you could change your username to something interesting what would it be?

Jpeter16.

Q. Of all the great members of TOFU why do you think you were chosen to give an interview?

I am the only one who had their premium re-upped. I am simultaneously the most hated and the most beloved member of TOFU. COF is trying to woo new recruits and decided to put the bombshell on display. Nag wanted to conduct an interview that would be symbolic of 2011, so he selected me because I promised to be mildly interesting but ultimately disappointing.

Q. What is your favorite post in the clan forum?

Incandenza: I’m astonished that the adults haven’t begged you to stop posting. At some point you think you’d consider your clan’s reputation before hitting the “submit” button.

Q. How do you balance law school, call of duty, and conquerclub so effortlessly?

I have friends take notes for me in class, my brothers play Call Of Duty for me on my account, and COF/Jake take most of my CC turns.

Q. Do you have a PS3 or Xbox?

PS3.

Q. Will you be joining jakewilliams and jpeter15 at an Orioles game?

Sure, I love watching minor league baseball.

Q. Do you feel your posts on CC contribute to your ability to argue as a lawyer?

No, you’ve got it back asswards. I’m such a super stud at CC because of my legal skillz. If anyone knows of anyone hiring for legal needs and you’re impressed by my Conquer Clubbing, feel free to contact me. I’m not above submitting an application via pm.

Q. Have you ever learned anything on CC that has helped you in a legal argument?

You are likely to be reprimanded for flaming even if it is (1) true and/or (2) hilarious.

Q. What is your favorite personal post/quote on CC?

CreepersWiener: Probably because the majority of you are not Native American, and more than likely you are a racist. I am glad I could open your eyes for you.

Q. Do you ever wish that you were in a clan with your two brothers?

Every time I see a shooting star. Or throw a penny in the fountain. Or rough up a midget. Or find an eyelash.

Q. Which one of your brothers is your favorite?

Owenshooter. He died for most of our CCins.

Q. Which is your favorite Rush song? Velve brother?

I wasn’t aware Mega Man’s dog sang songs. I am mainly familiar with his jet and coil abilities, but I think my favorite is when he turns into a motorcycle.

My favorite Velve brother is TheBro, he is super neat.

Q. Have you ever met another player from this site in real life (excluding family/relatives/real life friends)?

I met General Mojo in real life without knowing him beforehand. He was co-workers with Siedshow99 and Professor Chaos in DRS and I knew them from college. We all took rainbow shots and then talked about how much cooler we were than Hulmey and Lord Voldemort and schemed who to place bounties on.

(1) Covey’s leaflet on the Three Habits of Mildly Successful People(2) MTV’s collection of popular comic book writers and artists’ top 3 comic series of 2010, in particular, the lists by Camilla d’Errico, Andy Kuhn & Ben Templesmith(3) Radio Disney’s Top 3 Most Requested Songs, that shit is phat.

Q. Liebst du die kleine Katze? Warum?

Naturlich! Die kleine Katzen sind so schon!

Q. Does the cat in your occupation and the dog in your avatar get on well?

Swimmingly.

Q. If you had to choose between doing something good for conquer club, and doing something bad for conquer club, which would it be?

Good for CC, bad for TOFU.

Q. What is your greatest CC related achievement?

My nomination for AOG’s CC Five Year Anniversary Prom King vote. I cried like James Van der Beek when I saw that.

Q. If you were to join the moderating team, what area would you most like to be involved in?

Each has their own benefits and drawbacks. I’d love to just hang out in Live Chat, but I’m actually funny. Being part of the C&A team would be cool, but I’m quite aware my shit stank. I could see myself as part of Clan Directors, but I’m a sucker for hilarious acronyms and wouldn’t lock a thread for them.

That only really leaves Global Moderator or Entertainment team. I don’t really see myself getting along with Andy - too many banana jokes without any sexual undertone. I guess that leaves Entertainment, but then I couldn’t really use the paddle to promote my own agenda. Everyone loses.

Q. Do you care about the dice? What is the most hilarious quote/post about the dice do you have?

As much as one can truly care about an inanimate online gaming feature. Society may not like it, but society be damned.

I’m not sure if there is a most hilarious quote/post about the dice, but I enjoy pretty much any post about the dice. So, generally I enjoy every third topic in GD, which typically goes “Oh my golly, I just had a game where it was a 8 v a 2 and I went 0-2, 0-2, 0-2. That has never ever happened before in real life or on this site I bet! LMAO! Isn’t that crazy!?”

Q. What is the best dice streak you have had?

1-1.

Q. What are your plans for ruling the world?

Taco Tuesdays. Crazy hat night every other Saturday. January and March each lose a day and February gains two days. Every holiday, game manufacturers must break into homes of customers and replace the standard white dice with dice reflecting the holiday theme because it is adorable.

Q. Do you hail Hypno-toad?

All hail the Hypno-toad.

Q. Do you miss flame wars? Do you wish it was still viewable to see some of the good posts there, or do you think it's better off with the good and bad hidden?

Sure I miss flame wars, but part of me missed the McRib until it came back. I do think, however, it should all be viewable, a lot of it was hilarious, be it intended or not.

Q. Favorite opponent in games? In posts?

When I first joined, I loved playing games against Pascalleke, 3Asefa, & Big Whiskey. Learned a lot and it was in the day of high quality public games, so those were fun. Nowadays I mainly do clan/tournament games, so I typically find someone I enjoy playing against over the course of a war because either the games are competitive or we can bitch back and forth in game chat.

As for posts, my favorite inflammatory stuff was by Dancing Mustard. To me, he was the best poster on the site. For insightful, clever, and generally good reading, I like seeing what khazalid has to say about something. Besides that, I find most of the McGill crew to be interesting.

Q. Do you think the rumored Arrested Development movie will suck when drug out over 90+ minutes instead of the shorter 24 minutes?

I’m not sure it will suck, but it does have a lot of things working against it. Converting a sitcom format to film feature length can be difficult (see Futurama), but lest we forget Police Academy. I think the most difficult thing will be capturing the momentum and cohesion the writing staff had because George Michael is acting like a little bitch about being typecast. I also think that anticipation may raise expectations extremely high, but if they can make a movie that is enjoyable in its first viewing and has enough Easter eggs and subliminal jokes that a second and third viewing reveal, I will be pleased.

Q. What do you find sexy in a woman?

Me.

Q. Specifically which blend of cheeses do you prefer to have with your pasta whilest playing the Conquer Club games?

I usually open crack open a pun-filled forum post by Victor Sullivan whilst I eat my pasta and do some CC moves. I don’t usually put anymore cheese on top of my pasta since I’m slightly lactose intolerant and that would likely overdo it.

Q. Is it true you had an awkward situation happen with a goat? Can you explain that?

If you are referring to an animal, then no. If you are referring to the sexual position for self-masturbation, then yes. My mom learned a valuable lesson about knocking that Yom Kippur.

Q. If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

I have been court ordered to keep 150 yards from a tree and tree-related statements at all times following an incident where I mistakenly sent an explosive package to an arborist clinic.

Q. If you weren't a member of TOFU, what other clan do you think would be worthy of your skills?

Most of my old clan that is still active (besides jpeter15) is in Owen’s merry band of misfits, the BPB. I like their style and their levity, so I would probably get along fine in there. But, a lot of clans have some pretty funny people I would get along with too, like Lubawski in Empire, Incandenza in THOTA or Chemefreak in LEGION, so it’s hard to say. But if I weren’t in TOFU, I’d like to be part of KORT just to read their clan forum.

Q. Ever thought about making a map?

My brothers and I actually came up with a map and graphics, but its game play would be undermined by the current XML coding. We wanted to create a map that would create impassable territories, but would vary from game to game based on which territories were dropped neutral. We hoped to up the neutral value to 999 and have it reset to 999 if it was captured or nuked, but you can’t reprogram neutral drop value.

Q. Got any advice for any chefs that might be reading this as to how to reach the first page of the scoreboard?

It really depends on whether you want to pony up for premium or stay freemium. If you’re freemium, then create a lot of multi’s and throw games to yourself, you might get a point reset, but if you’re below 1,000 already, what’s the worst they could do? And hey, it’s not like they can strip premium from you.

If you are premium, you’ve got a couple options. First, you could farm your pretty little heart out. Find some map that is unnecessarily complicated or only requires a couple of moves to win and play it exclusively. If you can get clickies and run it speed freestyle, that’s a bonus. Second, you could find someone competent who is lower than you, perhaps someone recently punished for throwing games or missing turns to achieve an active game “record” and take on either people who are clueless or good teams with your educated partner. If you lose, you’ll only drop 6-7 points, but if you win, boy howdy you could net somewhere around 30-35 – quite the pay day!

If you’ve got some hang ups about cheating, then I recommend you play maps within your skill level, you stop attacking territories 3v2 or worse because you like seeing the dice, and review the game play of players better than you. I began the site getting spanked by Blitz and Pascalleke, but modeled my game play after them and look at me now; I’ve been nominated for CC Prom King, inducted into the highly exclusive Wut usergroup and seen Shatners Bassoon’s wiener on Skype.

Another must join Tournament is the Official Clash of the Classes 2010 Tournament It's gonna be an epic battle with 124 players(If my math is correct). How will you fare against players of different classes? The only thing is that you must have a Premium Membership.

Continuing from amazzony's last report, kawe85 is still running the huge tournament, Great Family Tournament Join if you wanna get the "OH YEAH I DID IT" feeling when you win

An interesting tournament is benga's angels and devils Which are you? You even get a general achievement medal for most kills during the tourney, as well as winning the main trophy.

Greetings and salutations to all! For those who have never encountered me, I'm the new CC Dispatch reporter on the Tournaments beat. My special project is to interview the winners. Here are some of the people I have spoken to:

Vaicius was the winner of the Dungeon Bash ! tournament put together by NotNowKato This three-round tournament pitted 32 players against each other on three Sword & Sorcery themed maps -- Castle Lands, Siege!, and Draknor.

I signed up for this tournament because I enjoy Castle Lands and Siege. I also liked that the creator of the tournament NotNowKato incorporated a bunch of different settings like Manual, Nuclear, and Assassin so that I could work on those medals while playing some maps that I like. FYI...I am still a few kills away from Assassin and Nuclear but this tournament helped get me closer.

Q2: This is your first tournament cup. Was it an exciting moment?

Yes I just started playing tournaments this past summer and I got real close in a few in the last two months. So I was beginning to think I would always be close but not quite good enough to win one. There was definitely a celebration on my end for my first tourney win. Now I am ready to try and earn my second tourney win.

Q3: I've had a look at the games you're currently in. Looks like you're playing tournaments almost exclusively. What are you in, about eight or nine tournaments at present?

Yes, I think nine. I like that every week I get a new batch of games. The tournaments are already organized so I don't have to go trolling for games. I like to have about 20 games going. If I get more than that I tend to lose track of my strategies for different games.

If I have to take a turn in 15 games in a row, I get sloppy.

Once a few of these tournaments end, I plan on focusing on earning some of the medals I am close in.

Q4: That's a point I could learn from, lol. Maybe if I got my active games down below 115 my rank would go up...Do you play practise games on a map that will be used in an upcoming tournament, and if so, do you find it makes a difference?

Normally I try to play tournaments in maps that I know or enjoy. However for this tournament I hadn't played the dungeon Draknor map yet. So I did play a game or two ahead of time. It helped me understand the map so I thought that was useful. (Its a pretty confusing map) The best thing I did was I got crushed in my first game on that map so I asked the player who crushed me what his/her strategies were for that map and he gave me two tips that helped. I mostly lucked into a good drop on that map.

Q5: I thought NotNowKato did a nice job with his sword & sorcery theme in that tournament, even small touches like referring to players as "fighters and wizards." Do you find details like that help make it an enjoyable experience? And did the players go along with it in any way, making Dungeon-themed announcements in game chat or anything?

I liked the theme too. And the maps that stuck to that theme but I never really noticed anyone running with that idea in chat.

Q6: I think we've covered everything I planned to ask about. Is there anything you would like to add? Any general advice for tournament players? Anything you haven't seen yet in a tournament that you would like to?

No, I plan to keep playing tournaments. I like to pick the brains of the good players. Its funny I saw that you signed up for a tourney that I signed up for so I hope we get a chance to play soon.

I really like playing team tournaments with random partners for doubles, triples and quads...I'd like to see more of those, but I am too lazy or busy to organize one. I am not in a clan and I know a few people I trust to pay attention to a game but I played in a quads tourney with a new team for every game and it was alot of fun. I think I learned more in that tournament that any other because I was a teammate of a bunch of different, more experienced players.

Good luck to you.

Good luck to you too.

Ubcman64 was the winner of the Prince of Wales 4, hosted by tokle. This is a straightforward 1-on-1 elimination bracket tournament. It is repeated on a regular basis, crowning a new "Prince of Wales" each time.

Congrats on your victory in the Prince of Wales tournament. Okay, Question 1: What attracted you to this particular tournament?

I'm always interested when i see a tournament with the 1vs1 format. They are by far my favorite tournaments to play.

Q2: I'm curious about why you prefer 1-on-1. I personally don't like 1-on-1 because it's so unforgiving. In a large group if you have a disastrous turn you can hide in the shrubbery and lick your wounds while the others fight amongst themselves, but in 1-on-1 a bad turn can be unredeemable.

So question 2, is this what excites you about 1-on-1, that you have to perform 100% and can't have an "off" turn even once?

I've never thought of that before, but i guess that could be part of the reason, but basically it's because it's all me. I feel that strategically i can stick with anyone, so there are no excuses for losing except for bad dice. Which is also why i prefer to play with "no spoils". The less luck involved and the more strategy that is involved, the better.

Q3: You don't find No Spoils games having a tendency to deadlock?

It depends on the map. I'll play on anything, but larger maps with more bonuses are preferred in a no spoils game.

Q4: You've got 15 tournament victories now. Are there some that were especially memorable? Any that made you sit back and say, "wow, that was amazing?"

That's easy, my first tournament win: Ultimate All Maps 1vs 1....256 players. To beat out that many players is something i'm very proud of.

Q5: I can see how that would be quite a thrill! Were you playing for quite a while before that happened, or was it still early in your CC career?

I won that tournament almost a year to the day that I joined CC.

Q6: Besides winning 15 tournaments, you've also organised one. How was that experience, and did it give you a new perspective?

That happened to be a tournament I rescued. I also have 2 more active tournaments that I rescued. I've only organized one tournament from the start, and that will begin this week. I will say one thing though, running a tournament is a lot of work. I give a lot of credit to the guys that run the big tournaments: they take up a lot of time and dedication. Hats off to all those t.o.'s out there.

Q7: Would you change anything about the way tournaments are organised?

I think CC does a nice job with the current system. I can't think of anything I would change.

A strong endorsement of the tournament system! Thank you very much for your time. Good luck in all your future tournaments!

aalii and CAPK81 won the 2v2 - Asia tournament hosted by sdh. This is part of a long series of 2v2 tournaments on many different maps. I contacted both of the winners.

The person with whom I played in this tournament (CAPK81) had found it and felt we could do well in it. It looked interesting and I like the competition.

Q2: I see you're in quite a few different team tournaments, but unlike some team players it's always a different team. How do you find and choose partners? Is it based on strategic considerations or more of a social thing?

My choice of partners comes from the relationships I have developed through playing games. I tend to play with players who enjoy the competition and comraderie. There are a few players I play team games with regularly. When another player is needed one of us invites another and the "friendships" expand. Some of the players I know on a personal level and we form teams. So it's more about the social comraderie.

Q3: This is your second tournament win. Do you find they're getting easier? Are you going in with increased confidence now?

I don't think they get easier. There are a lot of good players out there. I am always optimistic and confident when entering games and hope for a bit of luck. It's like any other competition - anyone can beat anyone else at any given time.

Q4: Ok, you have the podium. Is there something you would like to say to the CC world? Is there some kind of competition you would like to see which hasn't been done yet?

Only a couple of things I would like to say to the CC world -- Remember it's about having fun, competing and fellowship (some of you take it way too seriously), being a member of XI Games family is the best (some great and competitive people), and most importantly -- players should make an effort to get to the ANNUAL RISK CLASSIC next November in Bethlehem PA. Check out Steelhorse for details and the following link:http://www.annualriskclassic.comOnce more into the breach---

Thanks Dukasaur. I hope I was okay and answered your questions well enough.

Very much well enough! Okay, thank you for your time, and good luck in all your future tournaments!

Q1: Ok, here's my standard first question, and after that we see how the conversation goes: What attracted you to this particular tournament?

I like to play tourneys that are very simple. You lose and you are out. I like to play almost any map cards no cards nukes that does not matter much to me. I have recently started to enter more because I have found that you tend to get a better game as well. Very few missed turns and teams tend to play together more often as well. I think this makes for a better game.

Q2: So you take strategy seriously, and are not happy with a high luck factor?

There is no one I know who plays a lot on this site who does not have some crazy story where the dice have taken away a win from them. Sadly I have been there as well so yes I do prefer to minimize the chances if possible. I do prefer to be able to use tactics to minimize the chance of the dice.

Q3: Do you prefer the straight-geography maps or the maps with complex conditions?

I like the ones with little special features to them keeps the game different and fun.

Q4: Is there anything that you haven't seen yet on CC, that you think somebody should try to do?

Well i think they should make medals go up to platinum, and make them hard to get, like 1000 wins or something like that.

Q5: What about yourself? Have you set any goals to achieve on CC this year?

No not really, just have fun that's all. Try not to let those pesky dice get the best of me.

Okay, thank you very much for your time. Good luck in all your future tournaments!

One concluding note: when I volunteered for this project, I offered to interview "all of the tournament winners." How naive I was! I had no idea what a staggering number of tournaments there really are. Now I understand that there is no way I will be able to get to everyone. I intend to publish three or four interviews in every edition of the Dispatch, but even so I will probably only get to talk to about 5 or 10 percent of all the winners. My approach will be partially random and partially targetted. Some will be chosen because of their fame or amazing stats, some will be chosen because I find the tournament that they were in to be unusual or especially interesting, and many will be chosen completely at random. I will pay special attention to those that are winning a tournament for the very first time. If you are looking forward to telling the story of the exciting tournament that you were just in and want to be on my list, please feel free to PM me any time.

This month we have a packed issue overflowing with foundry goodness. Sully brings us an update on what maps have been progressing through the foundry as well as a look back at the maps of 2010. The Bison King brings us his final interview with non other than natty-dread. And our series on the military history of the Unites States continues in History 101. For those of you that are artistically inclined you'll want to check out this issues "wanted ads". -- dolomite13

Well it's been fun but sadly this will be my last interview with the CC newsletter. So I thought to myself who would be better for my last interview than the guy who first recruited me as a team member? That of course would be the one and only Natty_Dread. Natty_Dread has been an extremely active member in both the Newsletter team and the Map foundry. He is currently working on a few maps, one of which is of Russia's classic Trans Siberian Railroad. However most of this interview... well it doesn't exactly stay on topic, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway. It kind of starts in the middle of us talking about the live chat, but I'm sure you're all very smart readers so you'll figure it out quickly.

‹The Bison King› Live chat's kind of a mystery to me. I never come here.

‹natty_dread› oh me neither, but it seems to work much like irc. Lots of same commands...

‹The Bison King›› Irc?

‹natty_dread› internet relay chat it's kind of like an older version of im

‹The Bison King› Older? wow

‹natty_dread› well yeah, irc has been around since before the web

‹The Bison King› how is that possible?

‹natty_dread› it was made in Finland actually. Internet was around before the web, without all the fancy graphics and stuff, though. then it got a makeover and got all popular, think ftp servers. Telnet connections etc. - that's the old internet, but i digress... i think this thing was about a map or something

‹The Bison King› I guess that's the idea, but let's start with you. Who is the real Natty Dread?

‹natty_dread› well what about me... you already know where i live dammit

‹The Bison King› This is true, and if I could afford a Ticket to Finland I'd come over there and mess with you

‹natty_dread› what can i say.. I'm kinda a regular guy, do what i can to get by.

‹The Bison King› and make maps for the Conquer Club

‹natty_dread› yeah... funny thing that, when i came to this site i was just looking to kill some time with some casual gaming. I didn't expect to find something that would enable me to challenge myself creatively... but hey, there it was, the map foundry... and by now i sometimes feel that mapmaking gives me more fun than actually playing the maps

‹The Bison King› Orient Express turned out sweet By the Way

‹natty_dread› thanks

‹The Bison King› Did you know you wanted to do the map pack before you started OE or did the idea come as you worked on it?

‹natty_dread› no i didn't... at first it was all about OE. Then there was some concern, what with the numerous maps of Europe already on the site, if there would be room for one more... so I think it was IH who suggested I make the map about Asia and the trans-siberian line instead... that's when I thought, why not just make a

‹The Bison King› Yeah I remember that, to me though I never really viewed OE as a "europe map" in the traditional sense. Since it was just a section of the continent it always struck me more as a concept map set in Europe. Transsib on the other hand covers such a huge amount of land. How did you decide on how to break up the various regions of Russia's East?

‹natty_dread› well... i just kinda fudged it well, not exactly though.. I think i just looked at some maps of Russia, you know, regional maps, political maps, all that, and studied how the regions were divided in those... then i figured something that made somewhat sense gameplay wise and stuck with it...

‹The Bison King› Honestly I think that's the best way to go about it, If you stick to what is exclusively historically accurate I think you'll often find yourself in a situation where the gameplay is very weak.

‹natty_dread› true

‹The Bison King› Have you ever been to Russia?

‹natty_dread› no... I've been to Latvia a few times though... and Estonia...

‹The Bison King› was it before 1991?

‹natty_dread› no... i think the first times i was in Estonia were a few years after I was young back then... something like 13, 14... don't remember

‹The Bison King› I hear that Estonia is a big party location for Eastern Europe... not that you'd be partying much as a 13 year old.

‹natty_dread›well back then it was a lot less "westernized" than it is now... everything was really cheap there... old Finnish ladies were doing their groceries shopping in Estonia when the cheap boat rides begun... by now, the price levels are almost the same as here so no one bothers with that anymore..

‹The Bison King› interesting, what would you consider "westernized" Where would you draw the line?

‹natty_dread› well... it's hard to say, and a really good question. The lines of what is considered "western" or "eastern" or "socialist" or "capitalist" are so blurred these days... the west is becoming more like east and the east is becoming more like west... it's inevitable when cultures mix and clash... To answer your question, i don't think one really can draw a line like that... it always depends on the point of view. In the end, we, as in humans, are not so different, no matter what culture we represent... sure there are differences but the basic things are the same.

‹The Bison King› I agree with that but I think a lot of people look to make separations. It helps them think. If they can separate one thought from another and associate one with good and one with bad they can go on with their day with out having to think as much

‹natty_dread› yeah that's true unfortunately... in the internet we're all just names on the screen though.

‹The Bison King› Do you ever think that technology is progressing to fast? or do you tink it's better that networking advances faster than government can regulate it?

‹natty_dread› well... i don't think that technology as such can progress too fast. progress is good... it gives us more options, but technological advances can be used for wrong purposes, just like almost everything. I think at this point, the "cat is out of the bag" and we can't go back trying to stop progress from happening... in the words of Homer Simpson: "don't you think I'd rather be some ancient pagan, living naked in the woods and playing the pan-flute?"

‹The Bison King› In the words of Clutch "You can't stop Progress" So anyway let's get back to the maps... Do you still plan on making a Pacific Rail map?

‹natty_dread› yes, i will, eventually... it's in queue... and it will most likely be a lot different from both OE and TS, both in gameplay and in style...

‹The Bison King› how so?

‹natty_dread› well... again, the subject is different. Each of these railways have a unique history... i think the maps should represent it rather than trying to fit some sort of pre-defined mold... and after all 3 are done, I'll probably have had enough of rail maps for a while

‹The Bison King› yeah... well you've got quite a queue lined up for yourself don't you

‹natty_dread› well.. it's good to keep productive, I have learned much from each project i have gone through.

‹The Bison King› So what is your method when it comes to foundry?

‹natty_dread› hm.. which part of the foundry?

‹The Bison King› getting from one end of it, to the other.

‹natty_dread› oh, that part... well, pretty straightforward: you get an idea for a map, you post it on the forums... get some feedback for it... then make a draft, and I don't think i follow a specific method... i just get an idea, let it stew in my head for a while, and when i think i might have something that could possibly make a fun map, i'll post it and see what others think. On the gameplay, i just try to listen to everyone's opinion, and pretty much just try to steer it in the direction of something that i myself would enjoy playing. i like innovative gameplay as long as it's not overly complicated... but then I'm not really a gameplay genius. On the graphics i usually have at least somewhat of a vision of what i want to do with a map... also i feel that i've developed as a graphics artist recently, and i hope it will show in the quality of my coming maps...

‹The Bison King› what comes next?

‹natty_dread›well, i haven't really thought about it... besides what we have already discussed... time will tell. There are some ideas floating around in the foundry...

‹The Bison King› Is there anything else you'd like to say?

‹natty_dread›well... i don't think so, it's been a long interview and i should probably get to bed... but it was fun. oh... my secret goal is to break cairns' mapmaking record... one day... but since it's a secret, don't tell anyone

Evil DIMwit wrote:A few people have tried putting out baseball field map ideas, but none really panned out. This is my take on the game. It's a conquest style map, with the pitchers as starting positions and every other territory starting neutral. I tried to design the gameplay in a way that mimics the basic elements of baseball: Every player has to go through the bat and land somewhere on the field to start conquering.

Evil DIMwit is searching for a graphics artist for his map, Baseball: King of Diamonds!

Evil DIMwit wrote:I don't know that there's anything specific that I'm looking for; appreciation of the sport is nice but is not required.

Contact Evil DIMwit via PM if you would like to help him out! Remember, there's a Map Contribution Medal in store for you when the map is quenched, if you decide to help out

Got the graphical talent, but lack gameplay creativity or knowledge of the various gameplay devices? Have good concepts or ideas, but lack graphical skills? Need someone to do the XML for your map? Contact me, Victor Sullivan, to have your callout in next issue's article of "Wanted Ads"!

History 101: The Military History of the United States of America (1945–1990)In issue 40 we presented part 2 of this series on the military history of the United States of America. In this issue we bring you part 3 the Cold War Era (1945–1991)

Cold War (1945–1991)

Following the Second World War, the United States emerged as a global superpower vis-a-vis the Soviet Union in the Cold War. In this period of some forty years, the United States provided foreign military aid and direct involvement in proxy wars against the Soviet Union. It was the principal foreign actor in the Korean War and Vietnam War during this era. Nuclear weapons were held in ready by the United States under a concept of mutually assured destruction with the Soviet Union.

The National Security Act of 1947, meeting the need for a military reorganization to complement the U.S. superpower role, combined and replaced the former Department of the Navy and War Department with a single cabinet-level Department of Defense. The act also created the National Security Council, the Central Intelligence Agency, and the Air Force.

Korean War

The Korean War was a conflict between the United States and its United Nations allies and the communist powers under influence of the Soviet Union (also a UN member nation) and the People's Republic of China (which later also gained UN membership). The principal combatants were North and South Korea. Principal allies of South Korea included the United States, Canada, Australia, the United Kingdom, although many other nations sent troops under the aegis of the United Nations. Allies of North Korea included the People's Republic of China, which supplied military forces, and the Soviet Union, which supplied combat advisers and aircraft pilots, as well as arms, for the Chinese and North Korean troops. In the United States, the conflict was termed a police action under the aegis of the United Nations rather than a war, largely to remove the necessity of a Congressional declaration of war.

The war started badly for the US and UN. North Korean forces struck massively in the summer of 1950 and nearly drove the outnumbered US and ROK defenders into the sea. However the United Nations intervened, naming Douglas MacArthur commander of its forces, and US-ROK forces acting under the UN auspices held a perimeter around Pusan, gaining time for reinforcement. MacArthur, in a bold but risky move, ordered an amphibious invasion well behind the front lines at Inchon, cutting off and routing the North Koreans and quickly crossing the 38th Parallel into North Korea. As UN forces continued to advance toward the Yalu River on the border with Communist China, the Chinese crossed the Yalu River in October and launched a series of surprise attacks that sent the UN forces reeling back across the 38th Parallel. The UN leaders feared that the conflict would escalate into another world war, while MacArthur and U.S. President Harry Truman came into serious disagreement about military objectives and resolution of the conflict. MacArthur was later relieved of his command by Truman for insubordination, and negotiations beginning shortly after MacArthur's dismissal eventually resulted in a stalemate and armistice in 1953, with the two Koreas remaining divided at the 38th parallel. North and South Korea are still today in a state of war, having never signed a peace treaty, and US forces remain stationed in South Korea as part of US foreign policy.

Lebanon crisis of 1958

In the Lebanon crisis of 1958 that threatened civil war, Operation Blue Bat deployed several hundred Marines to bolster the pro-Western Lebanese government from July 15 to October 25, 1958.

On April 28, 1965, 400 Marines were landed in Santo Domingo to evacuate the American Embassy and foreign nationals after dissident Dominican armed forces attempted to overthrow the ruling civilian junta. By mid-May, peak strength of 23,850 U.S. soldiers, Marines, and Airmen were in the Dominican Republic and some 38 naval ships were positioned offshore. They evacuated nearly 6,500 men, women, and children of 46 nations, and distributed more than 8 million tons of food.

Vietnam War

The Vietnam War, also known as the Second Indochina War, was a war fought between 1957 and 1975 on the ground in South Vietnam and bordering areas of Cambodia and Laos (see Secret War) and in the strategic bombing (see Operation Rolling Thunder) of North Vietnam. In Vietnam, the conflict is known as the "American War." Although a small US presence had existed in Vietnam since the late 1950s, major US involvement is generally considered to have begun in 1964, after the Gulf of Tonkin Incident.

Fighting on one side was a coalition of forces including the Republic of Vietnam (South Vietnam or the "RVN"), the United States, South Korea, Thailand, Australia, New Zealand, and the Philippines. Participation by the South Korean military was financed by the United States, but Australia and New Zealand fully funded their own involvement. Other countries normally allied with the United States in the Cold War, including the United Kingdom and Canada, refused to participate in the coalition, although a few of their citizens volunteered to join the U.S. forces. The U.S. and its allies fought against the North Vietnamese Army (NVA) as well as the National Liberation Front (NLF, also known as Viet communists Viet Cong), or "VC", a guerrilla force within South Vietnam. The NVA received substantial military and economic aid from the Soviet Union, turning Vietnam into a proxy war.

The U.S. framed the war as part of its policy of containment of Communism in south Asia, but American forces were frustrated by an inability to engage the enemy in decisive battles, corruption and incompetence in the Army of the Republic of Vietnam, and ever increasing protests at home. The Tet Offensive in 1968, although a major military defeat for the NLF with half their forces eliminated, marked the psychological turning point in the war. NLF forces appeared to be everywhere at once, even penetrating the US Embassy, Saigon, supposedly one of the most secure places in the country, and news anchor Walter Cronkite, in a famous broadcast from the battlefield, pronounced the war "unwinnable." After more than 57,000 dead and many more wounded, US forces withdrew in 1973 with no clear victory, and in 1975 South Vietnam was finally conquered by communist North Vietnam and unified. The chaotic evacuation of the US embassy in April 1975, as NVA forces closed in on the city, made for enduring images of desperate souls clinging to helicopter skids, trying to escape Communist rule. The war left Vietnam with many mines yet to be disarmed and many parts of the jungle destroyed by napalm and many civilians died with casualties in the millions and 800,000 dead for the NVN/Viet Cong. Even though the US is said to have won every major battle and killed up to thirteen times as many enemy combatants, the war was a defeat for America.

Even today, "Vietnam" is a politically divisive subject in the U.S. Some Americans view the Second Indochina War as a noble, if flawed, cause which limited and delayed communist expansion and conquest of Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia. Others see the conflict as a quagmire; a waste of American blood and treasure in a conflict that did not concern US interests. Military service during Vietnam is still an issue in U.S. presidential campaigns, more than 30 years after US troops left the country, and fears of another "quagmire" have been major factors in U.S. military planning since 1975.

Tehran hostage rescue

During and Iran hostage crisis, Operation Eagle Claw was an attempt to rescue the hostages. It failed because of inappropriate equipment, incomplete and unrealistic planning, and the lack of joint service training. The fiasco led directly to the creation of SOCOM.

Grenada

In October, 1983, alarmed by a violent power struggle in Grenada, the U.S. dispatched paratroopers, Marines, Rangers, and special operations forces to the island in Operation Urgent Fury. Over a thousand Americans were on the island. The invasion force quickly moved to seize the entire island, eventually taking hundreds of military and civilian prisoners from a variety of East Bloc nations.

Beirut

In 1983 fighting between Palestinian refugees and Lebanese factions reignited that nation's long-running civil war. A UN agreement brought an international force of peacekeepers to occupy Beirut and guarantee security. US Marines landed in August 1982 along with Italian and French forces. On October 23, 1983, a suicide bomber driving a truck filled with 6 tons of TNT crashed through a fence and destroyed the Marine barracks, killing 241 Marines; seconds later, a second bomber leveled a French barracks, killing 58. Subsequently the US Navy engaged in bombing of militia positions inside Lebanon. While US President Ronald Reagan was initially defiant, political pressure at home eventually forced the withdrawal of the Marines in February 1984.In 2003, a judge for the United States District Court for the District of Columbia ruled that the Islamic Republic of Iran was responsible for the attack.

Panama

On December 20, 1989 the United States invaded Panama, mainly from U.S. bases within the then-Canal Zone, to oust dictator and international drug trafficker Manuel Noriega. American forces quickly overwhelmed the Panamanian Defense Forces, Noriega was captured on January 3, 1990 and a new government was installed.

Map SurveyorsWant to follow the pulse of Conquer Club's Map Foundry? Join this usergroup and receive notifications when new maps are at key stages of development, and receive advance notifications of Foundry contests or official Foundry projects.

We're indebted this week to the players who have sent us reports on the challenges their clans are involved in for State of Play. There's a lot of great action going on between the clans so it's great to get these updates - if you're playing a clan war and want to send us a rundown for future issues, please send it in to the editor, laughingcavalier.

Less happy on the clan front right now is the amount of heat being poured out in the forums. Over the last year there has been more and more flaming and baiting between clans. Some of it has been very unpleasant indeed. Trash talk can be fun and friendly rivalry can add to the fun of the game. We are taking our clans more seriosuly now and that naturally generates some heat. But some of what's been posted has gone too far. Different people have different opinions on what is friendly rivalry and what is a poisonous attack, but remember the nature of the internet is these things escalate and if you're not careful you can get yourself involved in a slanging match that is good for no-one. Keep a lid on it guys.

As the second set of games gets under way, the number one seeds find themselves six games behind. After a couple of lost one vrs one series and a few sticky moments on their complex home maps, The Horsemen of the Apocalypse must find something extra to bring the match back. The Knights of the Round Table are cock-a-hoop, but we all know THOTA have come from behind before, and in the semis KoRT had a similar lead from the first set only to lose many games later.

The regular season is all but over. Mythology sealed their place in the playoffs as second placed in Division B with their last game of the season on Pelo Wars. That means Devil's Brigade are out - but DB can hold their heads high, they have certainly been the clan who performed highest against pre-season expectations. The playoffs are a bracket. Top finisher from Div A against second finisher from Div D etc. Quarterfinals first, with semis and final to follow. Each match is 17 games, 8 chosen per clan with one neutral. The bracket looks like this: Games are scheduled to start soon. Based on current form the division winners must be the favourite in each of these games, but there are certainly some interesting matches ahead. vrs TOFU have never lost a week in the league; their opponents TSM have a fine history but have lost many of the fine players who took them to the finals in Clan League 1 and brought them within an ace of beating THOTA last year. vrs Immortal Assassins have a point to prove having failed to fulfill early promise in last year's competitions - they will want to go all the way; Mythology often say they are under-rated - IA will be their biggest scalp yet if they win. vrs KoRT, winning their division and leading in the Cup finals are on a roll; LoW have made their way quietly to the playoffs - if they've got the same appetite for victory they did last season now's the time to show it. vrs Empire had some bad moments in Cup and the last League - they are looking as if they have bounced back strongly; now they must beat AoC. For a long time, clannies have talked about the "top 7 clans" - AoC have a chance of joining that group, and a good run in the playoffs would get them there. Our newsletter competition is in its final stages with just a few games separating the top 4 players, jrh_cardinal, Commander62890, pmchugh and leehar. See Competition - PREMIUM PRIZE - predict the Clan League.

TheMissionary (Memento Mori) wrote:This challenge has been exciting. MM has been in the lead since the beginning, but the last batch could change things in a hurry. Despite a split in MM, that created THE PACK, we are still putting up a strong showing. The same thing that caused us to drop in the league. This whole challenge has been within 5-6 the whole time. MM is in negotiations with Mythology clan and will face FFS after they finish up with G1. We are more on a building block now than anything. We downsized, so we decided to go more with symmetry than numbers. Only the future knows what will come.

stokiepaul (One Step Ahead) wrote:One Step Ahead started their 1st clan war this week, taking up the challenge thrown down by Always Kicking A$$.The war, made up of 7 doubles, 7 triples and 7 quads from each clan, started well for the newly formed OSA with them taking first blood with a doubles win for Mizzou3181 & Stokiepaul on the Canada map.The first quads win went to AKA with the foursome of dorsettrob, Wile E Coyote, far2ezee and eddie2 winning through on Jamaica to level the score at 1-1Keep track as the war continues at viewtopic.php?t=134770

General Brock II (1st Regiment of Footguards wrote:The 1st Regiment of Foot Guards, a newly formed clan, has recently engaged the Fantastic Four Skins in a simple, forty game match-up. Currently the FFS are leading on their home maps: 4 - 0. However, the 1st Regiment is slowly beginning to counter after some organizational modifications and slick recruitments. (if the Dispatch sees fit to mention it, we're still recruiting)

Stay Tuned for the next issue of the ConquerClub Dispatch for an interrogation of eddie2. Post any questions you may have for them here --> Interrogation with eddie2

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12:17:31 ‹Pixar› im gonna be fappin to that all night long10:59:12 ‹rhp 1› holy hell... that did it.. I pissed myself15:15:52 ‹Ace Rimmer› Sackett58, I think I may get some action this weekend15:16:05 ‹Sackett58› Right hand or left Ace?

Q. Specifically which blend of cheeses do you prefer to have with your pasta whilest playing the Conquer Club games?

I usually open crack open a pun-filled forum post by Victor Sullivan whilst I eat my pasta and do some CC moves. I don’t usually put anymore cheese on top of my pasta since I’m slightly lactose intolerant and that would likely overdo it.

I hope reading my pun-filled threads aren't too much of a pun-ishment for you. I fear every time I make a (crazy awshome) pun I'm gonna get pun-ched, like when I met Re-pun-zel and she let down her hare. Needless to say, the hare died from the fall, but it was nice of her to provide me dinner.

I feel like the million posts article was not very strong. The flow of the article didn't exist. Talking about how off topics is where former flamers just hang out and try to poke fun at some weenies? Jesus... what about spamalot and the longest thread?

You also failed to mention that forum games and mafia weren't even part of off topics until (I don't remember).

And, you forgot to note how some of the best posters ever from off topics have been permanently banned, and how it has gone massively downhill since; all it is now is people putting up stupid articles from foxnews.

whitestazn88 wrote:I feel like the million posts article was not very strong. The flow of the article didn't exist. Talking about how off topics is where former flamers just hang out and try to poke fun at some weenies? Jesus... what about spamalot and the longest thread?

You also failed to mention that forum games and mafia weren't even part of off topics until (I don't remember).

And, you forgot to note how some of the best posters ever from off topics have been permanently banned, and how it has gone massively downhill since; all it is now is people putting up stupid articles from foxnews.