GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER: The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!

JONAH’S MOTHER: That’s a nice story, but now tell me where you’ve really been for the last three days.

SUPERMAN’S MOTHER: Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we’ve decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?

THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“The creators of Fyre Festival, a luxury music festival that left attendees on an island without adequate food, water, shelter, or medical care, are all being sued for $100 million. If you want to attend the trial, tickets start at $5,000.” -Conan O’Brien

“Taco Bell just announced that it will be adding beer to the menu at certain restaurants in Canada. It’s the first time that going to Taco Bell will lead to getting drunk and not the other way around.” -James Corden

“A man in Oregon walked away with minor injuries after he fell asleep in a dumpster and ended up in a trash compacter. It raises a lot of questions, and the answer to all of them is tequila.” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, “Don’t mind us, we’re joined at the hip. I’m John, he’s Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please.”

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. “Been on holiday, lads?”

“Nah, we don’t like that British crap,” says John. “Hamburgers and Molson’s beer, that’s us, eh, Jim? And we can’t stand the English; they’re so arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Canadians.”

“So why keep going to England?” asks the bartender.

“It’s the only chance Jim gets to drive.”

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

‘It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds.’

ANSWER: Tombstone! Spoken by Val Kilmer’s character, Doc Holliday, right before he kills Johnny Ringo. By far Kilmer’s best role!

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

‘My dear wife, you get something twisted out of your insides by all this blood, filth, and noise. I want to stay changeless for you. I want to come back to you the man I was before.’

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

I’m a ten-letter word, but when I am heard,

It is a surprise, but I’m half that size.

My first sound is found when half isn’t around.

When a pair is amiss, the other is called this.

The second has one where normally two form a pair.

You will get the nod if you look in a pod.

Together, my fifth and third hold music that is heard.

A pair you are seeking, alphabetically speaking.

And the fourth sound, it will be found

If you look where I send, in the middle of end.

What word am I?

ANSWER: Expediency (XPDNC) The five letters, XPDNC, sound just like the ten-letter word expediency.

After a divorce (a couple is amiss), the former partner is called an ex (X). Normally there are two peas in a pod, but here we just want one pea (P).

C and D are beside each other in the alphabet, and together hold music as a CD. In the middle of END is the letter N.