Judica me, Deus, et discerne causam meam de gente non sancta.

September Benefactor Mass Set & Assorted Variety (or is that "A Sordid Variety"?)

1. This month’s Holy Sacrifice of the Mass offered for all of my benefactors and supporters will be on Thursday the 25th at approximately 12:30pm EDT. Remember, once you’re on the list, you can never, ever get off of it, even if you decide that you hate me. Tricksey, she is, Precious.

Deepest, unceasing thanks to one and all.

2. Just a quick note on the upcoming Synod on the Family called by Pope Francis Bergoglio in October. Let me explain how it is going to play out. The Synod will convene, only the Modernists will be allowed to say anything, the Synod will publish something that goes on and on and says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, then the Pope will issue a “Post-Synodal Exhortation” which will also go on and on and say ABSOLUTELY NOTHING (but will use to nauseating excess the words “caress”, “tenderness” and “encounter”), and then the green light will be given to every Modernist and unwitting Modernist priest (which is most of them today – let’s be honest) to tell people that divorce and remarriage is no big deal and BY ALL MEANS you should receive Holy Communion. And if you thought that annulment was merely “Catholic divorce” before, just you wait. Annulments will be passed out at “A KENNEDY WANTS TO MARRY THE NANNY” SPEED. Getting an annulment will be like ordering a Quarter Pounder with Cheese Value Meal at the drive-thru window. They’ll have the annulment burgers and fries pre-made and sitting under the proverbial heat lamps. Please pull through.

The reason this is all so easy to anticipate is because it has already happened since the Asteroid (™) hit in the 1960s. In fact, it happened twice. The first was with the promulgation of the New Mass, the Novus Ordo, in ARSH 1968. Did you know that the Novus Ordo is supposed to be offered in Latin, with the priest facing God Almighty – NOT facing the people, and with Gregorian Chant? Yup. All of the abuses that you see today at almost every single Novus Ordo Mass are NOT specifically called for in any Vatican II documents. They are all the result of a strategy of putting nothing down in writing, but instead operating like a Tin Pot Dictatorship and sending toadies to communicate that “anything goes, boys”, and anyone who doesn’t go along with or dares to speak out against the “new program” will be destroyed. This is how the Novus Ordo Mass implementation was executed. And, you know, it worked so darn well, why WOULDN’T they use the same strategy?

The other arena in which this was used to great “success” was in regards to contraception. Paul VI Montini wrote Humanae Vitae, which condemned contraception in no uncertain terms, and then openly supported clerics who flagrantly disobeyed it, and even more egregiously, actively punished clerics and prelates who defended Humanae Vitae and called out their disobedient brother bishops and priests.

Yes. You read that right. Paul VI PUNISHED bishops and priests who defended his own encyclical.

And, as a result, to which my inbox provides a steady stream of testimony, YOU GUYS, now in the autumns and winters of your lives, thwarted the existence of your own children that God desperately wanted to give you, because your priest TOLD YOU THE DIRTY SATANIC LIE AT THE BEHEST AND UNDER THE THREAT OF HIS SUPERIORS that contraception wasn’t a sin, and it was okay for you to sterilize yourselves and reduce the marital embrace to an act of masturbation. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. And this tactic was wildly successful.

So shall it be with this Synod. I would also assume that the blind eye of sanction will be turned to all manner of sodomy ratification, including the “blessing of unions” or some hellish abomination like that. But NOTHING will ever be put in writing. Only meaningless, Jesuitical, Modernist, drooling, utterly incoherent gobbledygook nonsense which the pseudo-intellectual neoconservative fanboys and fangirls will lap up like hogs at the slop trough, so pathetically needy and desperate to appear smart and be popular, that they will join in the hen cluck chorus of “oohs” and “aaaaahs” at nod knowingly at all of the big wurdz and run-on sentences. (If I don’t understand what it says, it MUST be true! But I’ll pretend that I do understand it so they think I’m teh smart and like me!)

Yeah. I’ve got your dialogic encounter with the tender caresses of luuuuurv right here, you charlatans.

3. While I will never abandon my trademarked term “Superfun Rockband church (™)”, I recently had “Six Flags Over Jehovahgod” put in front of me, and I snickered quite vigorously.

4. Apparently I have started a bit of a Lennon Sisters frenzy. Several people reported marathon YouTube sessions watching Lennon Sisters clips. Here is something that I came across that delights me to no end. One of my favorite songs is “Malaguena Salerosa”, which is a Mexican folk song. I first heard it years ago in the movie soundtrack for Kill Bill 2. Now, I’ll be the first to proclaim that Tarantino is one seriously messed-up cat, but the guy has spectacular musical tastes. So, first is Malaguena Salerosa performed by Kathy Lennon, followed by the Chingon version off the Kill Bill 2 soundtrack, which I warn you, rocks just ever-so-slightly hard. I love contrasts like these.

Many, many a mile I have driven with Chingon’s Malaguena Salerosa BLASTING in order to stay awake and outrun the PoPo as I crossed the fruited plains of North ‘Merica, hither and yon, throttle mashed, injector nozzles gloriously a-spray, so as to “let ‘er drink”. Lyrics beneath. Enjoy.