Michigan State might be an underdog in Final Four, but Bracket Boy fears its mascot

Mike Scott/For The Star-LedgerSparty the Spartan, says Bracket Boy, 'will eat your mascot for dinner and spit out the bones!'As a service to his loyal readers, Bracket Boy is previewing the Final Four teams. Today: Michigan State.

Michigan State, despite its reputation as one of the premier programs in college basketball, enters the Final Four as an underdog. Check out the Vegas betting line and see for yourself — Butler is a 1 1/2-point favorite.

The Spartans are banged up. They had to beat Northern Iowa and Tennessee to get to Indy, not exactly a pair of powerhouses. They lost to Wisconsin, Illinois and Purdue in one horrid week in February.

Our resident expert expects Butler to win that game, but this is a fact he does not like to broadcast. He is not afraid to admit it: His orange head turns pale every time he sees Sparty, the MSU mascot.

Without question, Sparty the Spartan is the meanest, strongest, butt-kickingest mascot in all of college athletics. Look at him. Look at those arms! This mascot has muscles in places where most mascots don’t even have places.

“Thank you, Bob Hope!” BB said.

Our resident expert has issued this challenge before, and to this day, no loyal reader has come up with the goods: Send him an e-mail if you think your school has a tougher-looking mascot than Sparty. Because you are just flat-out wrong, and here are several examples as proof:

The West Virginia Mountaineer? “Well, he is armed. But still — country roads, take him home.”

So Michigan State might be the underdog on the court in the Final Four (although, with Tom Izzo as coach, anything can happen). But in the Mascot World — a generally happy place where BB spends plenty of time — Sparty is the bouncer at the door that nobody messes with.

This is not an opinion BB has alone. Muscle and Fitness magazine named Sparty the “Buffest Mascot,” and at the Universal Cheer Association Nationals Competition, he was ranked No. 1 because, BB suspects, “He threatened to eat the judges for dinner and spit out the bones!”

Yes, there are the natural concerns about steroids, but BB demands to know: Where is the proof?

Until the mascot police find some hard evidence, not even Congress can bring Sparty down. No one can! He even does weddings, parties, bar mitzvahs, parades, alumni functions, charity events, public showings and commercials.

“There were many emotional moments, especially when a toddler dressed in an MSU cheerleaders outfit ran up to Sparty to give him a hug,” one alum wrote to the official Sparty website. “Sparty knelt down and put both hands on his heart and they hugged each other as many eyes got misty.”

Then Sparty ate the toddler.

“And spit out the bones!”

E-mail of the Day

Brian Melloh, a loyal reader whose name rhymes with crow, is writing in to eat some!

“Well Bracket Boy, I’ve got to give credit where credit is due,” Melloh writes. You picked Butler, and they came through. However, let’s see how good you really are, now that we’re down to the Final Four, who ya got? Are you going to keep on riding Butler, or are you going to go BCS? Hope Bracket Girl is treating you well.”

BB responds: “I’m going to keep riding the Bulldog I came with, Brian. Butler will play Duke in the national championship game, and Butler will clip the nets in Indianapolis! I mean, it’s not like I have something to lose, right?”

Bracket Boy is breaking down the Final Four in his usual, stupid way. Tomorrow: Duke. Send him an e-mail at boy@bracketboy.net, because it is the one way short of committing a heinous crime to guarantee getting your name in the newspaper.