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Column 8

''I am intrigued by Friday's story about the fellow who found the skeletal remains of a World War II courier pigeon in his disused fireplace, and the red capsule which contained an encoded message.'' writes John Cook, of Five Dock. ''The message has been sent to military headquarters for decoding. I pose this question for Column 8 readers: what will the message say?''

Still on matters military, Dave Palmer, of Pyrmont, notes Dan Keighran's VC and wonders ''How long can they keep awarding this medal? They're made from the remains of a Crimean War cannon, and there's been many wars since then. How much of the precious metal is left?''

'''Quixotic' has long been one of my favourite words,'' confesses Iain McDonald, of Harris Park. ''I consider it a valid life goal to play it across two triple word scores. It's also been the subject of a long-running argument with my regular scrabble opponent. He holds that common usage dictates it should be pronounced 'kwik-soh-tik', while I contend it should be 'key-oh-tik' in deference to its La Manchan namesake. Can Column 8 help, or am I just tilting at windmills?''

''Mention of the lady having an 'anagram' reminded me of others I heard while working at St Vincent's hospital,'' recalls David Lloyd, of Avoca Beach (Column 8, Friday). ''One man told me he was 'having a stunt' to fix his heart. A lady couldn't speak to me because she had just received 'an anemone'. It was hard to keep a straight face at times.''

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''Peter Rosier's cardiologist (Column 8 , Friday] is more interesting than my mine, who after tests, wrote to my GP: 'The patient appears unremarkable.','' writes Ramani Venkatramani, of Little Bay. ''Never did I feel so comprehensively put down, and for a hefty fee. Me, with my self-assessed reputation of being a stand-out in any crowd, unremarkable?''

''If we don't make an effort to protest, they'll get away with it,'' screams Gary Jackson, of Georges Heights. ''I've just seen an add on television for an anti-dandruff shampoo. It makes the claim: 'You'll be up to 100 per cent dandruff-free forever!' What does this mean? It means nothing.''

''Keith Ridler-Dutton missed out much of the significance of Napier's supposed one-word telegram,'' alleges Michael Maguire, of Emu Plains (Peccavi, Column 8, Saturday). ''As I heard the story, Napier had been ordered not to attack the city of Sindh, but had attacked anyway, and succeeded. His telegram therefore reported the capture of the city while confessing to disobeying orders, thus constituting a trilingual pun.''

The Melbourne Cup, you may have heard, is being run tomorrow afternoon, and so it is that all Column 8 readers with a fondness for the flutter look to Les Nixon for spiritual guidance and fiscal succour. Les, many will recall, tipped the winner of the W. S. Cox Plate 10 days ago, using his revolutionary Saddlecloth/Barrier Number Coincidence Theorem. Les, Les, C8PhD, come to our aid - which beast shall it be?