[Kink] Getting Off In FemDom Scenes

One of the most wonderful things about sharing my interest in FemDom as it has grown is getting to help other people find out what FemDom might mean to them. This week a friend asked me a question and I thought it would make a great blog post for anyone else who has had the same thought …

‘How do you get off during FemDom scenes?’

The reason I think this is such a great question is because it took me a long time to figure out how I incorporate my own sexual pleasure into FemDom sessions. I am specifying sexual pleasure, because even if I didn’t have an orgasm, I was getting a serious brain and body high from the act of Domination in and of itself. Wanting to include orgasms for me actually came along a little later, and it was then that I had to figure out just out to do that without losing the d/s dynamic that we have present during a FemDom session.

These are by no means the only ways to get yourself off during a FemDom scene, but they are the ones that I favour most and that have kept the control I am so fond of firmly in my hands.

Oral Servitude – I guess I could have just said Oral Sex, but to be honest ‘Servitude’ just sounds so much hotter. When Bakji is tied in a position that has him flat on his back, it is beyond fun to straddle his face and ‘force’ him into serving me with his tongue. To add extra elements to this I will sometimes put all my weight onto him, so he is getting some smothering thrown into the fun. Or I’ll position myself so that I can edge him at the same time, which inevitably causes him to loses focus, and then I get to tell him off and spank his cock. It really is a win win situation for me.

Portable Sub Mode – We aren’t taking credit for the concept, but until someone corrects us we are taking credit for the phrase. When we do this Bakji gets kitted out with any accessories that make him feel subby. That usually entails, ankle and wrist cuffs, collar, knee pads, Latex hood and often some kind of rope tied upon him. There more things we’d like to invest in for these scenes, but I haven’t found a money tree yet or an amazing PayPig! In an ideal world it would include a chastity cage and a nice harness.

With portable sub mode I get to order Bakji to perform all manner of delicious sex acts on me while he looks and acts like a mindless sex doll. It is incredibly sexy. Once when we did this he was fucking me and it honestly looked like he was completely brain dead with his only function in the world being the ability to thrust in and out of me. I won’t lie, I live for moments like that. It’s that look that gets me off more than anything else to be honest.

Doxy – Yes, yes, yes, I know I go on about my Doxy all the time, but it’s because I love it. You know people who are romantic with cars, walls, bridges etc, well I now 100% understand the love of an inanimate object. Bakji worships me, I worship my Doxy, this is the true circle of life.

To the point at hand though, (and I don’t mean Bakji’s nob), using the Doxy during our scenes has increased my rate of orgasm dramatically, it has also increased the amount of fucking we do too. What I love about using the Doxy during fucking is that it’s almost like saying ‘you cock alone isn’t enough to satisfy me’ or actually saying it if I’m feeling particularly devilish! In truth Bakji is more than capable of satisfying me with absolutely no help at all, which is why I can say the opposite during FemDom scenes without fear of destroying his confidence. Once in a while he even gets to put his skills to the test, just so he doesn’t get rusty!

Maturbation – For personal reasons this one took me awhile to include, and is still something I am working on really getting into during a scene. When Bakji is all tied up with nowhere to go, there is definitely a part of me that loves showing him what he can’t have. Which is something I definitely verbalise when I do this. Pointing out that he’s so subby he can’t even remember how to fuck me, with nearly always results in him saying that he can, to which I reply ‘I can’t remember the last time you proved it, which rather highlights my being correct’. Again he absolutely could fuck me silly until I forgot my own name, and I’d love it, but the call of FemDom nearly always wins out these days, and while that makes us both happy I see no reason to abandon it.

Restraint and Sensory Deprivation – We have always used restraint as part of our D/s dynamic, one of the things I love about it is that the more I use, the more subby Bakji becomes, and the more he is reduced to nothing but a hard-on! When we do things like mummification it is incredibly fun to use him like a dildo! He becomes my very own living, just about breathing fucktoy.

Sensory Deprivation for us is blindfolds, gags, ear defenders and latex mitts so he can’t steal a sneaky feel if his are able to get close to me. Again this heightens the level of subbiness for Bakji, but also increases his frustration too. When my sexy parts are on him, or using him and he absolutely cannot see them, touch them, taste them, or even speak out that he’d like them it makes my position as Omnipotent Goddess even more prominent.

The last thing that is key to me getting off in FemDom scenes is remember the following:

‘I can do whatever the fuck I want.’

With Bakji and myself negotiations have been done many times, my knowledge of his limits is solid and I can read his body language better than my own. So with all the safety aspects taken into consideration and adhered too, once we are in scene, he is all mine to fuck and fuck with. So if I want to tie him up and do nothing but lie beside him masturbating I can. Or if I want to tie him to a chair and fuck him because I love how it feels when we fuck sitting in that position, then I can. If I want to order him to massage me, finger me, fuck me and adore me, I can bloody well do that to.

I am the Queen of the Frickin’ Universe when I’m in FemDom mode, and owning that and channelling that in all it’s beautiful unrelenting glory has made getting off a whole lot easier.

Disclaimer: Because there’s always someone who has to spoil our fun. All aspects of me exploring my outrageous FemDom ego are consensual, no Bakji’s are harmed in the process and he loves it all just as much as I do. The day that changes is the day we stop doing what we do.

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6 Replies to “[Kink] Getting Off In FemDom Scenes”

I love your disclaimer at the end!! lol. Good post Floss! My Queen uses all the above as well. But she adds orgasm denial as you well know. That is a big turn on for her. She teases me relentlessly but seldom allows me to finish. That has become a huge turn on for her. It took a while though as she was conditioned by society and prior relationships to believe the guy must always get off!

Now I can totally see why she enjoys that, and I 100% want to be in on enjoying that once in a while too, but it seems one of my biggest kinks is watching the actual climax, so I kind of do myself out of the experience of denying him, but I am so eager to see him cum *face palm*! x

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