And the article goes on to discuss how ol' Hank had lost his head in the confusion of the French Revolution-- like, way literally-- and how the cast from the French version of Bones was called to identify him, in an exciting Sweeps Week two-parter. (Spoiler: he's not Gormagon.)

But what the Reuters article neglected to say is just where this decapitated head was all this time. And that really bugged me because I was sure I saw someone Tweet that it was found in...

So I'm guessing this French retiree's garage-- where the dead French dude's mummified noggin was stashed since the 1950s-- must be a lot like my family's place growing up. I mean, we weren't quite ready to star in an episode of Hoarders, but we did manage to retain some pretty weird crap.

Honestly, does the average homeowner really need a tarantula in a formaldehyde-filled jar? Or 300 Victorian doorknobs? Or a full-sized Early American spinning wheel? Or a pickled eel?

I mean, really, how many times doyou find yourself wishing, "Oh, if only I had a pickled eel handy! Drat it, now I'm going to have to figure out where I put that canned lamprey I was saving for Christmas."

Tim Burton could be my cool, normal uncle or something.

So I can see it now... France 2010...

Back behind the box of rat-eaten medieval mille-fleurs tapestries, past the rusted-out bicycle, the spider-infested baguette boxes, and the Jerry Lewis VHS tapes, there the solo-flying head of King Charlie Four has been quietly hanging out amusing himself for half a century. Playing "I-Spy" and "King of the Mountain" and whatnot.

So one day, the retiree's wife gets sick of the fact that the only thing that currently isn't stored in the garage is the Renault.

And she announces, "We are going to have a garage sale and get rid of some of this junk." Only she says it in French, so it sounds a lot classier.

"Wee air go-wing to ave a gawage sell, and geet reed of some of zis jjjunque..."

(See that-- four-and-a-half years of French really paid off.)

And so out come the mille-fleurs tapestries... ("Aren't zees Belgian?")

And the rusted-out bicycle... ("Movie prop from Amelie... We weell sell eet on ze EBay...")

And pretty soon, the wife shrieks:

"Mon cher, you weell not beeleeve what Ah jjooost found!"

"Eez eet beegger zan a baguette box?"

"Oui."

So, soon Saturday morning comes, the garage sale is on, and folks are looking for a bargain.

You pose a good question though: how does one have a mummified human head in their garage for 50 years? But what I REALLY want to know is how the hell they FORGOT they had a mummified human head in their garage for 50 years? I mean, obviously they knew at one point in time because how else would it have gotten there, right?

Hmm...maybe a better question is how the hell did they get the head in the first place?? Do they have dudes in France who just sell heads off the back of a truck or something? 'This one belongs to John Lennon, this one is Anne Boleyn, this one is Henry the 4th'. Eeek!

CrankyCanadian- You pose a lot of good questions I'd like the answers to, too. And when you DO have a human head in your possession, what makes you decide the best thing to do with it is "Aw, just put it in the garage"?

No, "Perhaps I should call the cops." No, "Maybe the local archaeological department at the University would like to know about this?" No, "Let's just put it in the guest room so it stays dry." Nope. The garage. :)

Step Right In, and Welcome!

Welcome to Of Cabbages and Kings, the blog of author, Jenn Thorson. Here you'll find updates on the There Goes the Galaxy humorous sci-fi bookseries and other writing projects. Also expect to see musings on pop culture, grammar nerdism, literary nose-tweaking, a few feisty aliens, all united for gleeful, eccentric fun.

Come, savor the Cabbage-- for it is funny, fresh and unexpectedly tasty!

About Yours Truly

Greetings, good people of G+! I talk about a variety of things on here, including pop culture (movies, quirky television, sci-fi), and writing and the writing process. I also really like olives and Cheez-Its (though not at the same time) and I suffer from mayo-phobia, the rare fear of white slimy condiments touching my sandwich. I currently have two books of a planned humorous sci-fi trilogy out called There Goes the Galaxy. (The books are called There Goes the Galaxy (book 1) and The Purloined Number (book 2).) If you're curious about that, I hope you'll pop by my website at: www.jennthorson.com

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You might also enjoy my humorous space fantasy novels, There Goes the Galaxy andThe Purloined Number (There Goes the Galaxy #2), both available in paperback and ebook forms. Click here to learn more about them on my book website: www.jennthorson.com