Here’s my one true loveCheryl Tweedy out in the rain the other night that involves her wearing a nice little dress so I don’t care what it is. I don’t know who this overly tanned old man is, probably her new wallet boyfriend, but he’d better remove those ancient sausage fingers from her side before I chew them off. I hate being jealous of old dudes…. Getting to touch hotties like Cheryl and not having to wait in line at McDonald’s to get a refill. Bastards.

I’m actually a little surprised to see that Jessica Simpson is looking pretty good in these pictures, not all fat and chunky looking, I’m impressed. I wonder how many layers of Spanx she’s got on under there. I’m not really feeling the outfit, if she had a giant blue captain’s hat she’d be a female Cap’n Crunch. Not sexy. I know something that could completely save this costume… Some giant chubcake cleavage.

I’m only putting these pictures of Emma Roberts up on the site because I think she’s a cute little number and not because she’s wearing some really tight jeans and hooker heels. She’s too young for that kind of thing right? Wait, she’s over eighteen now isn’t she? I remember there was a lot of hype a little while back from fat dudes blogging in their underwear about becoming legal like she’d throw herself at them because they’ve got an awesome collection of oversized Storm Trooper costumes. Idiots.

Here’s Jessica Alba walking the streets looking her regular hot self, even if she’s not really showing off any great amount of skin she’s still looking good. Actually her little sundress is kinda short so we are getting a decent look at her long legs in those high heels of hers. I guess I’m so used to seeing all these celebrities in short shorts that this kind of thing throws me off. She’s so modest.

I can’t believe hottie Ashley Greene has fallen under the spell of one of the friggin’ Jonas Brothers. What the hell? The guy must be rich and famous or something. Anyhow, Ashley looks amazing as usual and she’s giving us a nice little peek at her booty while she walks away in her shorts so I think I can overlook the fact that she’s cheating on me with this kid. I guess pimples are all the rage these days.

I have to say that I think I’d like to bang Kelly Osbourne… Now I’ve done it, my penis has retreated into my pelvic cavity in anger and disgust. I don’t blame him considering what I just said, but if he’d just take a moment to look at these shots of her new skinny body in a tight dress leaving the E Studios after appearing on Chelsea Handler he might sing a different tune. She’s like a three pinter now, that’s big pints of beer, still not bad considering what she had to work with.

Here’s Britney Spears out doing a little shopping in her cute little short shorts. I would just like to let everyone know that I fully and whole heartedly endorse the use of short shorts in public… Provided of course that you are female, under the age of I don’t know 45 ish and are height/weight appropriate. Clearly Britney fits all of the afore mentioned categories so I give these pictures two boners up. Well, one now followed by a short pause and then one later. Lame jokes are the best.

I think it’s pretty funny that nobody really like this Katherine Heigl chick, I don’t watch her show, her movies are about as entertaining as finding a toddlers diaper in your mailbox and she’s really not all that attractive. After hearing me say all that you might be wondering why the hell I’d ever put her up on the site. Well, I’ve had her on before, but only because she was in a bikini and I like girls in bikinis and the only reason I’ve got her on now is because I couldn’t find anyone else to put up. Honestly, it was this or Janice Dickinson…. I know!

Here's my favorite Hollywood cutie Rachel Bilson out in a sweet pair of denim short shorts and killer high heels looking absolutely amazing. I love watching hot chicks walk around in high heels, it's like watching a unicorn on it's tippy toes. Beautiful. Anyhow, I wanted to discuss how cute Rachel's little booty is and how happy I am that she happened to drop her purse just at the right time so we could get this shot of it. I think someone did it on purpose to get my attention... it worked.

After the earlier pictures of Hayden Panettiere's little cleavage in her Lederhosen at Oktoberfest failed to impress, I'm glad that she's trying another tactic. Here she is in a tight little black dress that's not showing any cleavage, but makes up for it in tightness and the fact that there's no back to it. Hot. I wish that was a zipper down the front of it, but I'll take what I can get. I love her tiny little bum bum. Call me.

Here's Fergie and her older bird cleavage hanging out at some football game over the weekend in her weird tiger print dress, and not a sexy tiger print, there's an actual tiger printed on the back of that thing. I have a lot of t-shirts that are kinda like this, but instead of a stupid tiger it's an awesome wolf howling at the moon. Who knew I was so stylish. Anyhow, I like her big old tanned boobs, they distract me from that busted face.
more pictures of Fergie here

I can't tell if these are pictures of Megan Fox or of a wax replica at the Madam Tussauds Wax Museum. I'm not kidding, she looks pretty creepy just standing there all shiny. I guess the best way to find out would be to check for melted handprints on her ass and boobs. I wouldn't be against having a Megan Foxstatue in my house, we could make fajitas and watch Grey's Anatomy together. Good times.

I feel like there should be some hot stripper music playing in the background while I stare intensely at these pictures of supermodels Adriana Lima, Candice Swanepoel and their hot Victoria's Secret friends in there sexy little dresses. Oh my god, if I ever found a strip club that had hot women like this I'd have to cash in my Bar Mitzvah money ASAP so I could move into one of the private dance rooms in the back. Heaven.
more pictures of Adriana Lima, Candice Swanepoel And friends here