Scientology’s New Uniforms

The streets of Hollywood just turned up the wacky.

L. Ron Hubbard has reached from beyond the cosmos to release his new Fall line for local Scientologists and their brethren around the world. They are uniforms for the new Ideal Org churches, and Gawker takes a look:

These uniforms are manufactured by some sort of magical logistics pipeline called a “conveyor belt” for the “Ideal Org,” a purportedly superior new type of church, according to International Scientology News. The uniform is intended to unite staff on “six continents” and help them look the part of “emissaries of a new civilization.”

Red, white and black uniforms for a new civilization. I think I remember something similar from a history book.

Still, I have three very important questions about these new unis that I would like answered:

Is the men’s tie reversible, or is it a clip-on?

Does the cape have the Scientology “S” logo on the back?

Are other accessories available, like an engraved cigar case or alternate red pumps?

Way to go, Xenu. Only you can make us both tremble and giggle just by putting on a suit.