Feeling Overburdened By Grenade Damage?

The King Of Cocky Antagonism comes out swinging with his first blog of substance in a while, only to make several typos. I realize my grammar can be pretty horrible but I’m ok with that. What I can’t stand are the fucking typos. Fuck those typos. Fuck the cadences and structures too. They don’t matter. You can take them or leave them. Not only that, but these words flow out of me with zero effort. I sneeze and beautiful art comes out. It’s my curse.

But I can’t stand fucking typos!!

That being said, I’m 44 years old. I’ll let that sink in. This site has been going for three years. In that time I’ve written a full length screenplay. I have another two half done. I have a producer.

I told Get Bent Records to get bent. I haven’t received a penny in royalties and I know for a fact I was their best seller. I know this because a little bird told me.

I signed with Skin City Records. I was supposed to have an album out in February.

I was going somewhere with all of this but of course my train of thought has derailed.

There is a new album coming. I swear to Christ. Acoustic Doug Hell is dead. Let’s face it. I sing horribly. 75% of my material is sang in this bullshit raspy voice. My voice is not raspy. I twist my vocal cords to get that effect. And I sing from my throat and head. Any trained vocal instructor will tell you that’s a piss poor idea.

Anyway, do that over top acoustic guitar and it doesn’t really sound the greatest. It’s time to plug in again. No more bass. I can’t play bass and sing the way I would like at the same time.

So I am a guitar player. It should also be noted I am the best guitar player in the world. With the exception of Sparkles, I don’t trust anyone else to play guitar the way I want to hear it. I finally found my sound too. I play an American Highway 1 Strat through a Marshall V265 with an extension cab. I user very little distortion.

The Strat is the only guitar I have ever enjoyed the sound of my open chords through. Even my GIbson Firebird (the Hanging Girl guitar) didn’t cut it for me. The Strat is one badass guitar. All the greatest guitar players in the world swear by them. David Gilmour, Gord Gano, Dean Ween, Paul Leary, Mark Knopfler, and Rivers Cuomo are just a few. I don’t feel an overwhelming urge to list them all. This is all about me. I HAVE FOUND MY GUITAR SOUND!

So this new album will essentially be some of my acoustic ones plugged in. There are some spectacular new ones too.

My guitar tech currently has my Strat. Fuck I miss it. He’s going to give it a killer setup and block the tremolo system for me. I can’t wait. I am ravenous to do this album. It’s going to set the world on fire.

To those who are emailing the crap out of me, just be patient. I WILL get back to you. It likely won’t be as soon as you would like but I swear to get back to everyone who reaches out.