Reviewing Random Films For Fun

March 9, 2015

Elephant #MovieReview

Film 139 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 2003’s “Elephant”. This Gus Van Sant film and staring no one you’ve heard of, this film is based on the 1999 Columbine High School Massacre which saw a total of 12 students and one teacher die and a further 21 injured. Spoiler alert – They are no elephants in this film. Also, this film a really, really dull and boring. You spend the first hour watching people walk around a school then the last 17 minutes watching the shooting take place. Even that was boring to watch. Then the film ends with a random shot of the sky. I’m trying to think of something that happened in the film but quite honestly I can’t think of anything. So if you want to watch people walk around a school for an hour then this film is for you. I know that I have two more Gus Van Sant films to watch in this list, “Drugstore Cowboy” and “My Own Private Idaho” so maybe those films will be better than this. If you have seen this film then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 2003’s “Elephant”

Film – Elephant

Year – 2003

Director – Gus Van Sant

Written by – Gus Van Sant

Based On – Columbine High School Massacre

Staring – Elias McConnell, Alex Frost, Eric Deulen

IMDb Rating – 7.2/10

My Rating – DULL

Length – 77 min (1h 17min)

Genre – Crime, Drama, Thriller

We open with a shot of a telephone pole while someone plays basketball in the background

Someone can’t drive

“John”

Go home Dad, you’re drunk

This guy looks like Keanu Reeves with blonde hair

Shall we go hunting on the weekend?

“Elias”

Hi, I’m a stalker! Can I take your photo?

Look happy you miserable fuckers

We could have cut to a new scene a lot sooner than that

Back with John who’s arrived at school… late

Time for some American Football… with no pads

Does this film have a plot?

Some guy wearing a lifeguard hoodie is off for a walk

Is something suppose to happen?

We’re still following this guy as he walks through the school

Update – I just saw a poster that tells us that we’re in Oregon

We followed him for 5 minutes just so he can say hi to his girlfriend

“Nathan & Carrie”

Meanwhile, John got told off for being late by getting stared at by the head master

Time for John to have a meltdown

Some random hippie just kissed him

“Acadia”

Time for class about how to identify gay people

So… all gays have “dyed pink hair” and “rainbow necklaces and bracelets”

Question of the film – Are rams gay?

Back with the couple

I wish I knew what everyone was saying but I guess the sound guy’s microphone must have been broken throughout the film