Couch Slouch: Floyd Mayweather’s solitary thoughts

This Dec. 22, 2011, photo provided by the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department shows a typical single-inmate Clark County Detention Center jail cell in the administrative segregation unit in Las Vegas. The jail cell is similar to one where Floyd Mayweather Jr. is serving a jail term. (ASSOCIATED PRESS)

Guilty of a domestic-violence beef — he had a physical confrontation with his ex-girlfriend — Floyd Mayweather Jr. is serving an 87-day sentence in Clark County (Nev.) Detention Center. Except that, after about 8.7 minutes in the slammer, the boxing champ decided he wanted out of the slammer. His lawyer petitioned to free him, and the judge said no.

So Mayweather remains incarcerated, confined to his cell 23 hours a day for his own safety. With so much time on his hands — plus the fact he can’t use those hands to hit anybody — Mayweather has started to write. He’s a latter-day Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn!

Q. If Tony La Russa had been chairman of the Federal Aviation Administration in 1927, would he have told Charles Lindbergh to pull over at Greenland so he could be replaced by a backup pilot? (Bill Pollack; Niskayuna, N.Y.)

A. Even in retirement, Tony La Russa is the gift that keeps giving a buck-and-a-quarter to my wise-cracking readers.

Q. When a golfer tests the wind by throwing grass in the air for a 190-yard shot and the wind for the duration of the ball’s flight is different from the wind where it starts, are there similarities in this to any of your previous marriages? (John Pintar; Issaquah, Wash.)

A. Wow. It’s like you were a fly on the wall in both of my failed domiciles.

Q. If global warming is true, shouldn’t all these heat records being set be viewed with the same skepticism as records from MLB’s steroid era? (Mark Hansen; Indianapolis)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just e-mail asktheslouch@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!