Breaking Free: Inside the Heart and Life of an Incest Survivor

This week we have simply opened the dialog about incest in the church. We have seen into the heart and life of an incest survivor. This is such an uncomfortable subject. Yet one that most desperately needs exposed.

It is a subject that has haunted me personally. When I was a girl, and molested in my grandmother’s home no one spoke up for me. At least two adults in my family knew, yet they chose to maintain good appearances and keep secrets. Those secrets have allowed the devil to run unrestrained in my family. Over 30 years later our family is estranged, divided, and lacking the presence of God’s Spirit.

From it, I learned my was a commodity. If I wanted attention and affection my body was price. After traveling down a lot of dead-end roads to find healing, I finally did- in the Great Healer. He has come to bind up the brokenhearted and set the captive free (Is. 61:1).

Today is the conclusion from our guest writer. If you haven’t read the first two, please do before you keep reading. And know this… HE is coming for YOU!

We think these things just happen in God-less homes, but they are happening in our “good” Christian homes with “good” Christian people!

I was raised in a gospel preacher’s home who was well respected. But he was a liar, a sexual abuser, and a sexual deviant- a wolf in sheep’s clothes. I married a wolf in sheep’s clothes. Every day he reminded of my worthlessness, keeping the muzzle tightly fastened.

The whole time I did not want to be the problem. I did not want to be bad. In fact I desperately wanted to please my Father in Heaven. I cried out to HIM in faith to help me. And He helped me!

He helped by putting people in my path who asked questions, the right questions. He had people come to me who would not allow me to say I was worthless and deserved death. He gave me opportunities to start breaking each link of the chain that shackled me. And stitch by stitch the muzzle has been loosened. Am I totally free? Not yet, I am still in the Valley of the Shadow of Death, but I am NOT making my home here. I am walking through to get to FREEDOM!

I feel led to write to encourage those of you who are still muzzled to seek help! Don’t wait until your neck is broken or you are staring down the end of a shot-gun. Don’t wait until your children tell you they have been assaulted. GO, RUN, DO NOT WAIT!

Go to your elders, find a Christian counselor, call the police, call your parents, a friend, a neighbor, the school counselor, your family doctor. Pray to God first to put the right people in your path to help you and your family. Be warned, some will be stumbling blocks along your path to freedom from sin because of the devil. He still wants to kill, destroy and rob you of everything.

Every day away from the daily burden of the sin, I get clearer vision. Sin is destructive-always. If you think, oh it’s, just a little porn. He did not mean to hit me so hard. He called me a bitch, but it was just a slip. My children say they were touched inappropriately but surely they are wrong. If you find yourself making excuses for sin or dismissing your gut instincts then you are allowing the muzzle and shackles to remain and the devil to rule in your home.

There is a war raging! We must never lose sight of our opponent. The opponent isn’t your perpetrator. It is the devil. He is perverting God’s truth for his personal victory. But know this he is defeated.

But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Cor. 15:57

Lastly, do not do this alone. Have your support system in place. And allow God to control and direct you. If you make Him your God, He is faithful to give you power.

You will have to do things that are not comfortable. You will have to start listening for God’s voice because you have been listening to the devil’s for too long. The voice of truth will sound different. It will call you with boldness and courage. It will require things that you thought were beyond your strength. They will be beyond your strength, but not His. He is able.

As you embark on this journey out of darkness, take courage and be of strength. The Lord God wants to rescue you! The Lord God wants to redeem. He does not want anyone to perish, not you, not your spouse, and most definitely, not your children.

Read and Meditate daily on scripture. Here are a few that have seen me through some of my darkest days:

2 Timothy 1:7,

Psalm 91, Philippians 1:27-28,

1 John 4:18

You are loved more than you will ever know! Take the muzzle off and find freedom in Him! He so wants you to be FREE!