Top five Wayne ‘I would never dive’ Rooney dives

4. v Villarreal
We can’t find video evidence for this one at the present, but we trust you will take the word of a Knight of the Realm. Sir Alex said: “He apologised to me and said he didn’t mean to do that. I think he’s been watching Robert Pires too much. At least he apologised to their players. You’d never see Pires do that.”

Off The Post is dedicated to bringing you all the latest football news, views, rumour and humour. Get your transfer gossip fix and everything else you need to know about what’s going on in the world of the beautiful game.