Sticker-Shocked FDA Can't Swallow Tiger Woods' Haterade

It may not have been pop art per se, but since noncarbonated sports beverage art doesn't have quite the same ring to it, we're going with the former.

Unfortunately, the apparently humorless FDA is going with another characterization altogether: illegal. The feds have launched an investigation into the sudden appearance of bootleg Gatorade bottles in Colorado stores.

Instead of the usual quenched-thirst-promising labels, the bottles were restickered with a picture of Tiger Woods, a longtime albeit discontinued spokesman for the drink shiller, along with the word unfaithful.

And it wasn't exactly the crime of the century: The labels also featured a website address, which the crack investigators over at Denver's KUSA news team used to track down the man behind the haterade campaign, who promptly fessed up to the bottlejacking.

Which would ordinarily be the end of the story, were it not for the justice-seekers and free time-holders over at the FDA's Office of Criminal Investigations, who have decided that the prank constitutes a possible case of tampering, or (oh, the irony) "adulteration," as the agency calls it.

Samples of the offending Gatorade are currently being tested to determine whether it was simply the labels, or, damningly for the artistes, the entire contents of the bottles, that were messed with.

Should the liquids prove to be contaminated, and the FDA decides that the contamination was intended to harm the company, federal tampering charges could be sought.

Which means Colorado artist Jason Kay may soon regret his apparent inability to master the art of the "no comment."

Kay told KUSA that with the help of an artist pal—one who had the good sense to remain anonymous—he planted 1,000 of the bottles across the state for the simple purpose of creating conversation.

Job done.

He said the project was "very expensive" but would not go into how they went about manufacturing the labels or distributing the bottles.

He did, however, admit that he had already been contacted—and probably not just for a friendly chat—by Gatorade.

Needless to say, it's not the kind of project they were ever likely to drink up.

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Try as he might, Tiger just can't stay out of the news. Or, for that matter, out of our What a Douche! gallery.