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I have never been to a bachelor auction, but I may go to this one for… ahem… research.

That’s my reason. Your reason is to support two important – and dare I say, cool – organizations in Austin: First, the Austin Chapter of American Women in Radio and Television, a nonprofit, professional organization created to support and encourage women in these fields and further their impact on the community. The second organization is Latinitas, a nonprofit, bilingual Web zine made for and by Latina youth, and founded in Austin by students from UT.

If that’s not enough reason, please let me introduce you to one of the bachelors and his prize package.

David Rice is a writer, but more than that he’s an outspoken community leader driven by a calling much bigger than his own work. Here’s a quote from an interview with him published in the Austin Chronicle a few years ago:

“…what I have written is nothing compared to what has not been written by these folks down in the Valley. And in South Texas, and in Laredo, and in El Paso. There’s a wealth of stories in those areas that have to be told. Writing is history. All literature is history. So you must write. My stories go way beyond the author, they’re about culture and heritage. And therefore I have a responsibility to show them.”

I’ve met David before and spoken to him several times, so I feel I can say that he is not the least bit shy. Still, to be put up for auction, evaluated and bid upon by women who put a dollar amount on your worth … that’s beyond what most of us and our egos could bear. So I asked him a few questions:

1. Is this at all embarrassing?It’s more embarrassing to do nothing for your community.

2. Tell us about your package … the one you’re offering for the auction … the one that includes gift cards, etc. Geez!My package includes: A plane ride around Austin. Z’Tejas Dinner. Charbay Vodka. Haircut from Bird’s Barbershop. A Bike Tune up. Two Cine Las Americas all access film pass. Castle Hills Fitness workout. Book People Books. A round of golf for two. A family Portrait, photograph.

3. How much do you think you’ll fetch?My package is valued around $945.00. How much will I fetch, I have no idea.

4. Do you have to strut around or what?I don’t strut, but I do walk with a purpose.

5. And for the lady who wins… what will she get, exactly?Whoever wins me gets my package, and if she can keep up, maybe a little bar hoping: Starlite, Sullivans, Whiskey Bar, Besty Bar, Side Bar, Creek Side Saloon, Texas Chili Parlor, and Rio Rita. But it depends on the night.

A date with me will tick off your father, but your mother will understand and even envy you. Sure, I’ve got Peter Pan syndrome and my friends are all bar tenders, but at least I don’t go home with them. ADHD you ask? You bet. I can’t sit still, and I get bored easily, so you gotta keep up and keep me guessing or you can move on to the guy in the khaki pants and baseball cap.

Yeah, I can dance and know lots of jokes and I don’t quote movies. I read lots and I write, but you won’t see me doing either cause when you’re around, you’re my focus and I love to talk between kisses. I never shut up, unless you’re dumb. I like smart women and smart ass women, even more.

So, I dare you. Bid on me.

You heard the man. Now go get ‘em.

Sweetheart Bachelor Auction
Benefiting American Women in Radio and Television and Latinitas of Austin
Wednesday, Feb 13
Vicci Nightclub, 404 Colorado
$10 in advance
$15 at the door
Silent auction, drink specials, and more

2 Responses

Thanks for your comments about the teens in the Cipher- They are amazing young people and loved being included in the MLK event. You might want to check them out again at Cafe Mundi on March 10 at 7:00 for a SXSW youth event. Shannon

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