17 Jan Trauma and the Journey of Recovery

Nearly one in four girls will be sexually assaulted before she turns 18 (a). One in five adult women will be raped in her lifetime (b). This means that if you aren’t a survivor of sexual assault yourself, chances are, you know at least several women who are. This article is an effort to give voice to the experience of recovery, for the sake of sharing women’s wisdom, and educating those who wish to support survivors.

Everyone’s reaction to trauma is different. A similar experience might leave one woman with severe PTSD, and another barely experiencing any impact at all. The way each person responds depends on many factors, including past experiences, biochemistry, personality, and genetic predisposition. Never, ever should any woman be pressured to “get over it,” or to have a different or more mild reaction to her experience, or be compared to other survivors in a way that diminishes her process.

For many women, the process of recovering trust in others, self-love, and a sense of feeling at home in her body, can take time. It can be a difficult process of touching the deepest pain. Even after regaining a sense of normalcy and ability to live in a balanced way, the same fear, grief, anger, or numbness might arise over and over. Healing happens as, over time, these feelings begin to lose their power.

The majority of survivors do not have access to professional care; many women must move on without it. However, receiving heart-felt, skillful care from professionals and loved ones, and knowing how to care for oneself well, is a precious gift and often fundamental to the recovery process. Having a skilled and deeply trusted helper to turn to can help survivors re-discover how to trust others, how to be intimate with safe boundaries, how to process strong and painful feelings, and how to feel relaxed and safe again.

Integrating traumatic experiences is difficult and complex. Counseling and skilled care can help one process and release the experience, to literally break free of the trauma’s impact on a somatic, body-based level.

The multi-layered impact of trauma

A sexual assault sends a loud message that “you are not safe in your body.” It’s a staggering violation. It’s usually a profound betrayal too, as most perpetrators are known to the women assaulted, and many are family members. Feelings of panic, rage, grief, and helplessness are common.

Because the experience is so overwhelming, it’s a very reasonable reaction for a survivor to shut down physical and emotional feelings, or to shut down aspects of herself. This is why many trauma survivors feel numb or blank following an assault, and why some feel cut off from parts of themselves long after the event. Because of this dissociation, many women do not remember the event at all, or have memories resurface years or decades after the event. This is also why some women turn to coping mechanisms, like addictions, to help protect themselves from the overwhelming feelings. While essentially self-protective and sane actions, many coping mechanisms further complicate recovery.

Likewise, recovery is complicated by the fact that traumas interact with one another. It’s nearly impossible to heal the wounds left by recent traumatic experiences, without eventually touching wounds from past traumatic experiences.

These events leave long-lasting marks on us, coloring our personalities, our relationships, and the basic ways we go about living life. A trauma impacts all parts of the survivor’s being: her nervous system, her body, her mind, her emotions, her relationships, her identity, her ability to take care of herself.

When your emotions are erratic, your thoughts are unfamiliar, and your body is afraid, how do you move forward? It’s profoundly difficult to piece together yourself and your life, when nothing feels like it used to. This in itself is a deep loss.

How do we heal from the trauma of sexual assault?

Recovery is a process of releasing the event’s imprint in the nervous system, re-learning how to feel at ease in the body, reconnecting with emotions, and reclaiming a sense of calm and safety. This often needs to happen very slowly, and a professional counselor or therapy group can be tremendously supportive.

This means re-learning how to feel at home with the simplicity of breathing, with taking one step after another down a hiking trail, with the joy of connecting with another person.

Difficult feelings might return again and again, even after much time has passed. One day, a survivor might feel happy and engaged with her day-to-day life. And the next, she might experience panic and flashbacks, because something in the outside world triggered the memory of her trauma, or for no discernible reason at all. Or, the lingering effects might not be so obvious. Each woman in recovery learns how to recognize her particular triggers, and how to engage with her particular reactions to them.

Then, the work of healing continues. Although the impact of the event might not disappear completely, things get easier with time.

Being in a trusted community, breathing, doing activities that engage the body, and being mindful of what’s arising in heart and mind, are everyday practices that can help survivors on the path of recovery.

To learn more about sexual assault and how counseling can help, contact us.

Article by Myriam Maida, MA

Myriam Maida is a psychotherapist, painter and writer living in Boulder, CO. She’s a student of creativity, healing, living fully, and promoting peace in this time of global transition. She holds a Master’s degree in Transpersonal Counseling Psychology from Naropa University.

Julie has lived in the Roaring Fork Valley for nearly 15 years. After a brief stint in Minneapolis where she obtained a degree in accounting, she high-tailed it back to Valley without a second thought and has been happily spending her free time rock climbing and mountain biking ever since. Julie strongly supports the community and the mission of Sacred Cycle with a deep desire to help people heal using unique opportunities that mentally and physically challenging sports provide.

Mavis Fitzerald

Originally from New Hampshire, Mavis headed to Boulder for school and has called Colorado her home for over 20 years. Mavis brings over a decade of ski, bike & outdoor industry marketing and communication experience. She supports the Sacred Cycle mission with empathy and deep understanding of trauma and mental illness. An avid cyclist when it’s not ski season, she is excited to spread the word throughout active outdoor communities.

Breton McNamara

Breton McNamara has worked in the addiction treatment field in the Western Slope for about three years, working as a Residential Technician at a treatment center and as an Aftercare Coordinator for a non-profit that provides scholarships to motivated addicts and alcoholics seeking treatment. He is returning to college at the University of Colorado Boulder to study Psychology. As a survivor of childhood trauma, Breton has a passion for helping others who have experienced similar events and hardships, and is very grateful to be involved with Sacred Cycle.

Just beginning to mountain bike a little over two years ago, Breton has found a deep passion for racing, training, and going on fun rides with friends and family. Breton has competed in the Leadville Trail 100 mountain bike race the last two years, as well as many other races throughout Colorado, and plans to continue to compete in more challenging events in the upcoming seasons. Mountain biking is a huge part of Breton’s self-care, helping to keep him physically, mentally, and spiritually healthy.

Jeannine Anders

Jeannine has worked in high-end retail with Betteridge Jewelers in Vail, CO for 10 years. Over this time she has held roles in sales as well as office operations management. Jeannine has been passionately racing bikes for 7 years and has found success in the ultra-distance MTB world. She has competed in 15 ultra-endurance MTB races, ranging from 12 to 25 hours, as well as multiple 40+ mile races. Jeannine strongly supports the Sacred Cycle mission and is excited to spread the word throughout the mountain biking community. Cycling has been an extremely positive influence in her life so she is anxious to share her passion with others.

Lauren Gueriera

Lauren Gueriera has been an RN for over 25 years, later becoming a nurse practitioner, and has regularly cared for patients who have been sexually traumatized at some point in their past. For 12 years she worked as the coordinator of two Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) programs in Westminster and Glenwood Springs. During this time she passionately volunteered her time and expertise to help found the River Bridge Regional Center, an advocacy center for child victims of abuse and neglect serving several counties in western Colorado. Lauren says, “Mountain biking is my favorite activity in the world and it makes my heart and soul happy!” It’s this child-like enthusiasm for riding that Sacred Cycle is so determined to share with survivors and we’re honored to have Lauren on our team.

Mary Lyn Bondlow-Bushong

Mary Lyn Bondlow-Bushong has had a life-long passion for cycling and feels honored to share her enthusiasm and expertise with the Sacred Cycle community. She has coached a championship NORCAL team in Northern CA, taught groups of women to cycle as a Luna Ambassador for Cliff Bar, and has done extensive fundraising for the Breast Cancer Foundation. She is certified in Wilderness First Aid and CPR and is an IMBA (International Mountain Bike Association) guide and instructor. Mary Lyn and her husband live in the Roaring Fork Valley.

Brandy R. Maze, ESQ

Brandy Maze has been practicing law in Colorado for over 15 years. Before going to law school she knew she wanted to study children’s law, “I wanted to be a voice for those whose voices are often not heard.” Since 2010 her practice has focused almost exclusively on child advocacy in Dependency and Neglect matters. Her work centers on the most private and difficult experiences that children and families face.

Through her work with children and families she has seen firsthand how past traumatic events, when left unaddressed, negatively impact an individuals’ ability to care for themselves, care for and meet the needs of their children, and function productively in society. Like us, Brandy believe the biggest public health crisis in the United States is childhood trauma, “The silence that surrounds the epidemic of sexual assault on children allows this crisis to grow. That is why I am extremely honored to be a part of Sacred Cycle – whose mission is to empower and support survivors, raise awareness, and provide healing.” And we’re honored to have her.

Willow Rubin

Willow began her career in mental health working with at risk youth in 1996 in Boulder, Colorado while studying to get her master’s degree in psychotherapy. After graduating, Willow worked for the Boulder County Mental Health Center providing home based family and individual therapy. She worked for seven years providing direct services, eventually becoming a team leader and clinical supervisor. A native of Los Angeles, Willow then began providing individual and family therapy for clients who struggle with both substance abuse and mental health issues in her home town. After joining Vive in Los Angeles, Willow provided mentor and parent coach services before becoming the team leader. Eventually, Willow’s connection and dedication to the Vive model became evident and was named Clinical Director and then became the Executive Director of Clinical Services. Willow promotes a holistic and integrated approach to therapy and holds the vision that families can change patterns and heal from past wounds. She remains forever passionate about finding creative and effective ways of providing and supporting the therapeutic services for youth, young adults, and their families.

Sara Shainholtz

Sara Shainholtz is an outdoor enthusiast, a physician assistant in the emergency room, and breast cancer survivor. Through her work in the emergency room she has evaluated and helped provide resources for women who have experienced sexual trauma; she has seen the depth of impact sexual trauma has on patients. She strongly supports the resources and life changing opportunity Sacred Cycle can bring to women’s lives.

As a breast cancer survivor she has both volunteered and participated in programs and retreats that focus on a path towards healing through mindfulness and adventure. Bonding with others who shared a similar experience was a fundamental part of her healing process, providing confidence and a spiritual connection. Sara is moved, uplifted and beyond honored to be a part of an organization that gives women an opportunity to tell their story and find strength through adventure to focus on a path toward healing.

Heather Russell

Heather Russell, LPC, founded Sacred Cycle out of a community need and attempt to join passions; cycling and helping others. A therapist trained in transpersonal counseling, sexual assault crisis, and mindfulness awareness, Heather works with adults struggling with severe and persistent mental illness. A survivor herself, Heather found healing through mountain biking, the outdoors and helping others. She longs to share her passion for riding and vision for healing with others on their journey. Heather lives in Carbondale, Colorado and spends her free time pedaling in the mountains.

Jim Francis

Jim Francis is a former business executive in coal land management. In recent years, as a volunteer, he has worked for a number of non-profits, and has experience as a treasurer who has been responsible for filing tax returns. A lover of the outdoors, he owns a bicycle, but only competes with himself. He is delighted to run the back office of Sacred Cycle and leave the real work to a group of strong women.