Don’t believe everything you hear

Published 5:17 am, Tuesday, March 29, 2016

I had some really good conversations with different people over the weekend. There was one in particular I want to share with you because it has been on my mind a lot lately.

This particular conversation was about how people form an opinion based on what one or a few people say about a person or situation. Let me explain. I know a woman who worked as a church secretary. Before she became the secretary, there were several different members of the congregation who were doing different things for the church such as cleaning, making minor repairs, counting the offering, etc. These individuals were paying themselves for their services out of the church funds. They had a little system going and it was working well for them.

When the church got a new pastor/priest (I’d rather not identify what type of church so people won’t make assumptions), he started trying to do things around the church; however, these congregation members told him they take care of all of the things he was trying to take care of and he did not need to worry. The pastor/priest thought it odd that the church did not have at least a part time secretary so he hired one and from then on, anything that went on at the church was to go through the secretary to get the pastor/priest’s approval.

The members of the congregation who were “taking care of things” did not like the idea of having to get someone else’s permission to do what they had been doing all along. Needless to say, they did not like the new secretary. They started spreading rumors about her stealing money from the church and tried everything they could to get her out of there but were unsuccessful.

Many of the new members of the church had a negative opinion about the woman before they ever even met her. They thought she was a bad person because a few church members were upset that they were no longer getting their way and decided to throw a temper tantrum. How unfair was that to this secretary who was only doing the job she was hired to do?

How many times have you heard someone talk about someone you do not know but found yourself forming a negative/positive opinion about that person based on what the talker said?

This happens without people even realizing it is happening. We have all been on both sides of this unfairness whether we choose to admit it or not. I remember a while back I was the topic of a conversation that I wish I could say was a good conversation, but that would be a lie.

I overheard a few women talking to another woman, who knew me but not very well. By the time the conversation was over, I would venture to say that the opinion of me by the woman they were talking to was that I was an instigator, defiant and probably that I believed rules were not for me.

For a split second I thought about interrupting them to defend myself, but there was really no point. At least I got a good laugh out of that misguided conversation. I heard one of the women say, with pride mind you, that she could read me like a book and that supposedly made me angry (this is where I would put the eye rolling emoji if I was texting you).

Some people are really proud of their “abilities.”

I have shared two different situations to show you how easy it is to let someone influence your opinion about someone you do not know personally or very well. It is unfortunate that this happens. I just want to ask everyone to be aware and do not allow your opinion of someone to be influenced by someone else. Just remember the opinion you get from someone might be one that is the result of hurt, anger, jealousy, etc.