I love candy bars...eat them all the timeMy combo meal's are super-sizedAnd I crave the stuff they put inside those dang ding dongsMmmm

My cholesterol is off the chartI keep a blood pressure cuff on my left armDoctor says that my poor heart won't last too longMy nickname in school was double wideCause my momma fried...

Now I weigh 270 somethin'Always huffin and puffinLay around the house all dayNo wonder I can't lose no weightSee that pizza on the TVOh man don't it look cheesyYou know they deliver here for nothin'That's why I weigh 270 somethin'

My insurance said that they'd co-payI made the same appointment Carnie Wilson madePlastic surgeon said he had a way to get those love handles offHe stapled and sucked stuff through a tubeI lost a hundred pounds in one afternoonWhen I came to in the recovery roomWuddn't much left of meWhen he removed the bandages from my thighsI couldn't believe my eyes

Now I weigh 180 somethin'Didn't have to do much of nothin'I'm lookin' like Jean Claude Van DammeTo fit in a pair Mark Wills' pantsNow everyone who sees meCan't believe that I'm so skinnyMy body fat is nearly nothin'Ha haNow that I weigh 180 somethin'

WOOO

Ha Ha

Now I date a model with a GEDBut do you think she'd be with meI wonder (I wonder)If I (If I)

Still weighed...270 somethin'Stuffin down blueberry muffinsOnion rings and cans of SPAMThat's how I got so fatNow everyone who sees meCan't believe that I'm so skinnyI used to break a sweat just doin' nothin'Back when I weighed 270 somethin'

Now I weigh 180 somethin'

(spoken)Ah...well it's probably like more like around 225-26None of y'all's business how much I weighHuh huh...