Get Rid of Rats

These people, these cats, dogs and stupid birds all think they know how to get rid of rats, but the only way I’m leaving my home is if a real professional rat trapper comes in here and drags me out, kicking and screaming. I’ve been here long enough to have established my residency, so they can just kiss my little furry rat tail if they think they can run me out.

I was drawn to this place when I was a young rat. There’s a feed mill nearby, and even though it was tough to get inside the mill itself, because it was protected against me and my friends like they harbored told inside, there was still enough grain that blew away in the wind, fell, or was left out long enough for us to feast like kings. Our lean days were over. Not only that, but there was a perfect little farm nearby, with lots of perfect places in which to nest. While some of my bolder friends chose to dangerously nest inside of the barn, I preferred a tunnel and burrow in the ground, under a nut tree. The people who own the place got rid of the rats inside the barn, but there are still a few of us around who remember what it was like to live in the fields, chased by the machines and cats, and merely hoping we could enjoy a meager meal each day.

The feed mill still operates, but the barn cats, the guard dogs, and the rat traps that people set out got rid of most of the rats long ago. There are still a few of us that were wiser in our choice of home, and are more secure. We feast, and I admit, I’ve gotten fatter than I’d like, but I’m still lightning fast and can strike quickly when I need to.

Recently, a huge flock of blackbirds discovered the feed mill, and realized there wasn’t as much competition for the food as exists in other places. It started out with just a few birds, which didn’t bother me much. But, birds talk and yammer more than any other creature I know, and before long, there were hundreds here, gossiping and cawing and taking over the place. They acted like they discovered it first.

Until then, my little burrow under the tree had been a perfectly quiet spot. Then, it was taken over by these bird pests, and they got increasingly more aggressive. Before I knew it, they were eating all the feed before I had a chance to get to it, and they were guarding the entrance to my burrow to keep me from getting out. What wild cats, guard dogs and rat traps had failed to do, these birds just might pull off. They were going to get rid of rats just by being annoying.

Fine, I’m going to fight for it. Show these birds who’s boss. That’s why this morning, I crept up to the entrance of my burrow with all the stealth I could muster, and then pounced on one of those annoying birds! Made the other ones think, I can assure you. Like I said, it’ll take a professional trapper to get rid of this rat.