"you know what my # 1 fantasy is? i used to think that one day, just not telling anyone, i could go off to some random place, and i just disappear, like you’ll never see me again."

rage 2

Following this blog entry entitled rage, this bit shows how I am again indebted to the universe for giving me enough reason to never surrender to what is easy and what is acceptable.

All my life I have been doing and living a Cristina Yang. I never knew I had a peg until a year or so ago. She is a character from Grey’s Anatomy. In a nutshell, she is a cold-hearted bitch who chooses only a handful (events, some people) to be part of her circle.

“I’m not a spoon, I’m a knife, and I’m going to stab you in the eyeball.”

Says her mentor to Yang: “Do not look for friends here, you won’t find them. None of these people have the capacity to understand you. They never will.”

And it’s not because I don’t want to be understood. I just want to be left by myself. We’re just wired this way, the cruelty, the coldness, the standoffish manner.

(In other news, I want to learn how to execute those moving GIFs. They’re neat.)