Choose friends who don't smoke drugs if it bothers you

Hey there, time traveller!This article was published 12/2/2013 (1395 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm a young university student who is feeling discontented that so many of my peers smoke pot, and think it's totally acceptable and commonplace to do so. In theory, I don't care whether people do or not, but when I learn that someone I care about smokes pot, it makes me sad because I see them as wasting their potential and time. How should I deal with this situation? I strive to be open and accepting in many areas of life, but this is one area that I keep getting hung up on. -- Weedless, Winnipeg

Dear Weedless: Choose your inner circle of friends from people who don't smoke pot. It's important you don't have to worry about this with people you love and whose future means something to you. Your second circle of friends -- your acquaintances -- can do as they wish, and it won't hurt you emotionally. Try not to invest in them; keep it superficial.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is a message to Not A Nursemaid, whose boyfriend wants to wear diapers and act the part of his nanny. I was married to an infantile for many years -- my only advice to you is "Run, run, run, as fast as you can." -- Been There

Dear Been There: In this case, the pleasure of the fetish is totally one-sided. At least the respondent in a foot fetish situation gets her feet caressed.

Dear Readers: Female respondents were adamant about the recent question of allowing a husband's fling. Here are three responses:

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: . . . I think more couples should lay it on the line. Would I want to know about my husband's gym fling? Yes, absolutely since I'd be at risk for herpes, or other infections from some lady with so little class as to boink a married man in some toilet stall. Would I allow it/tolerate it? No! I'd be out the door so fast. There are plenty of guys out there looking for a loyal wife. All trust would be forever gone! I'd remember the good days, but any good days would be over. -- Who Needs That Dog?

. . . My husband and I have told each other decades ago, "one strike and you are out." With kids, jobs, friends, property, parents, in-laws there is too much as stake. It is a choice. I am No. 1, or not the one. -- No Second Chances, Winnipeg

. . . I would allow a drunken one-time fling. I am guilty of it myself and the secret kills me. I wish I could confess, but I can't because I don't know if my husband might leave and fight for custody. -- Too Much Tequila, Selkirk

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