Modern Dating Advice for Smart Singles

Why You Should Stop Looking For Your Soul Mate

The first step to figuring out your love life is to stop trying to figure out your love life.

There are things you want. I know that. You know that. Being clear is the first step to being honest and being honest is the first step to being happy.

So great, you now have an idea of what it is you want out of your love life and after X amount of years at the drawing board, I want you to put the pen down and step away.

Here is how it’s going to work.

You’re flawed. You’re more than flawed, I want to tell you that you are f*cked up. I know I said before that you were a wonderful person, and you still are but you are as wonderful as everyone else and no less f*cked up.

The good news is, being a mess is nothing to be ashamed of. The fear you have that the person you like or love will find out you’re you, not that special, a fraud or imposter is unfounded and unrealistic.

Even if you were the scum of the earth, you would deserve and be entitled to, no less, wanting and receiving whatever it is your heart desired.

There are two reasons that what you want out of your love life hasn’t come:

You didn’t wait for it.

You don’t think you deserve it.

But I know, you’re single, that means you’re still waiting right? But essentially you’re mourning not waiting. The things you wanted and thought you deserved are slowly becoming the things you wish you ‘d gotten and are, with each passing day, things you’re letting go of.

Stop right there.

It’s like waiting for a man to call but you’re already steaming mad by the time the phone rings.

Getting the things you want are a test of your faith. What do you believe in, yourself, the universe, maybe God almighty? At this point, you’ve tried everything so what have you got to lose?

You have to have patience not indifference.

You have to have faith not fear.

And most important, you have to ask for what you want. Not once, not twice but like that petulant child you were when you wanted to go out on a school night. You knew if you begged and pleaded and promised you could go. And all you wanted in life was to be allowed.

This is my advice to you; find a piece of paper, get your iphone or tablet and write down your ideal partner and your ideal romantic situation.

Beg and plead the universe in a relentless way that will not take no for an answer. Meditate, be hopeful, stop worrying and STOP trying to control the outcome. Without a doubt in your mind, wait for the right answer.

I thoroughly loved your tips on if you want to keep your man.. Though I myself comes from the men fraternity yet could not refrain from liking the minute detail you explained as I Could have easily relate to each point 😄. That's why , the marriage kills the romance because of those bad traits.

Miss Solomon - He Hasn’t Called, Now What…

Thank you for your comment, and for reading. My advice is this. A man should be cherishing and chasing you. A man should be worried that he will lose you if he doesn't show you attention. If a man isn't treating you like you're valuable to him, don't stay with him. Show your own value by leaving him alone. You don't need anyone in your life who makes you feel like you're second class. I hope this was helpful.

Miss Solomon - 5 Bad Habits That Chase Men Away

Thank you so much for your comment and thank you for reading! I know this is easy to say but the best way to approach men that you like is to remove yourself from the outcome. Yes, you want a date, and I think it's great that you took the initiative but don't beat yourself up about the outcome. The circumstances might not be right. There is one way I recommend taking action in dating to see results. It's a simple process - Step 1. Write down 3 possible scenarios A,B,C - A being if nothing happens, B being if it something happens but not what you expected, C being if your ideal results happen. Then try to imagine how you would feel in each scenario. Prepare yourself for no response, for a rejection, or for a date. If you're prepared for any outcome, its easy to take action. Just don't NEED anything certain result. Just take action because you're a brave person willing to take risks, and go after what you want. Instead of worrying about the result, just focus on taking action. It's not about what happens, it's about taking the action, accepting the result as feedback and moving forward with new information. I think you did a great thing! and the action itself means more than the result because you showed confidence. If you don't get a date, that's ok. But don't stop right taking action where you can. I hope this was helpful.

Danica - 5 Bad Habits That Chase Men Away

there is this guy who flirts with me, shows all 32 teeth when smiling at me and sighs around me a lot, well I do like him and think the feeling is mutual, but ive asked men out in the past and that did NOT turn out as I had hoped. but I decided to give it another shot by giving my crush a Christmas card and writing in it the following "me and you coffee with my name/number" and if he is interested he has my digits. is that too much or not.

lizzy - He Hasn’t Called, Now What…

i want u to advice me ma.there is dis guy v bn lvn for d past 10yrs i lata told im my filns and he agri to date ever since dat day he hasnt called or text v bn the 1 textn and calln.what can i do