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6.05.2009

The Return of Kaptain Kubel

When last we saw Jason Kubel...good things were happening. Of course, that was a month ago. And since then many good things have happened including Joe Mauer's Return, Cuddy's return to form, the emergence of Killthrow and Pixar's UP (seriously--very good).

But we have not seen or heard much from Jason Kubel. He of the cycle, grand slam, holding down the fort till Mauer gets back prowess. Then suddenly, yesterday, he returned in not one but TWO blazes of glory.

The only explanation of this could be heard in the dugout before the game:

MORNEAU: Wow, Jason, you look pumped up.

KUBEL: I am, Justin...I AM!!

MORNEAU: Why, I mean, we just got pummeled by the Indians last night.

KUBEL: Because watching the Indians beat the living daylights out of our pitchers reminded me of how much fun it is to hit the ball hard.

MORNEAU: hehheh, yeah...it is pretty sweet.

KUBEL: And for a whole month you've been hitting the ball hard

MORNEAU: Yeah...

KUBEL: And Cuddy's been hitting the ball hard

CUDDYER: Yeah...(smiles and a small ping is heard)

KUBEL: And Joe's been hitting the ball hard

MAUER: Yeah....

KUBEL: And other Joe's been hitting the ball hard.

CREDE: BLAGHERAGHERAGH!!!

KUBEL: And all that time I've been focused on running faster and faster! I mean...once you go triple it's hard not to gerflipple...

MORNEAU: Huh?

KUBEL: I don't know it's Gogo's saying--

GOGO: My nose potatoes is salty!!

KUBEL: So I've been running, and running, but now I've decided that Running is Stupid.

MORNEAU: Uhhh....I wouldn't exactly

KUBEL: No, it is! I've even got a banner to that effect.

MORNEAU: Is it being held in the teeth of two giraffes?

KUBEL: Yeah...gives it a little panache, don't you think?

MORNEAU: Uhh...

KUBEL Anyway...HERE WE GO TROTTING INSTEAD OF RUNNING!!! WOOO!!

We at Peanuts fro Heaven do not agree with Jason Kubel's banner, but we will defend to our dying breath Jason Kubel's right to say such things on banners held in the teeth of giraffes. {A combination of respect for the first ammendment, and just loving everything to do with giraffes}

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