Editor's note: Originally posted January 30th, 2006, there's something incredibly quaint about this column now. Gosh, the time when certain human interations were excluded from the internet seems like forever ago. In a time when technology and socializing have not only merged but are also speeding forward at a similar rate, we're already starting to see facebook status updates that lead to broken hearts and it's really only a matter of a few months before the kiss off is delivered in 140 characters and the hash tag "#u been dumped." With that in mind, let's all recall a simpler time, when the question of whether you could e-dump without being an asshole was a real head-scratcher.

Have we finally reached the point in society where it is OK to break up with someone over email? I say, Hell Yes! If you knew me personally you’d say, “Hey Tim, my experiences with you lead me to believe you are a passive-aggressive coward, afraid of confrontation, and ultimately a fucking asshole. This is why you support the email break-up.” I would reply, “You may be right, but I still think it’s ok to break up with someone via email under certain conditions.” These certain conditions are such; you met on the internet, you are ending a short-term-long-distance relationship, or either you or the person you are dating graduated high school in or after the year 2001.

It is almost two p.m. on Monday. I have hours of work ahead of me this afternoon, not to mention the rest of the week. So what the hell am I doing standing at the South entrance of the Plaza hotel, standing being a misnomer, because what I am actually doing is clinging to one of those electronic parking meters (Muni Meters, I believe), trying to keep my flip flops from slipping off the pedestal, all to get my head above the crowd of fifty or so adolescent Midwestern girls and their mothers?

I look at the middle-aged Midwestern woman standing next to/below me. “I swear I’m not thirty,” I say. “Huh?” She looks at me quizzically. Sigh. No sense of sarcasm. What did I expect really? What kind of people did I think were standing out here? What could possibly bring together screaming teens, the Plaza, and me, playing hookie from work on a Monday afternoon? Why, nothing less than the promise of a glimpse of Robert Pattinson emerging from his trailer.

It's getting so hard nowadays for celebrities to convince themselves that they occupy a higher, more dignified plane than the witless prole. It used to be enough to be seen toting the newest Louis Vuitton bag or being chauffeured around town in a luxury sedan, sipping a glass of rare, vintage wine. But here we are in 2009, when the biggest growth market for all three of these things is China. CHINA!

The world's turned upside down for America's most prized and self-prizing demographic.

So what's an attention-hungry celeb to do? How can they be expected to flaunt their worth when any spoiled teenage girl in Dalian can sport the same pair of Christian Louboutins or gallivant around town in the same Enzo as them? The answer is simple: They [force their personal assistant to] write socially-conscious op-eds for the Huffington Post!

I was innocently cruising our site the other night when I noticed that the same person, the aforementioned Ed Weems, had left several comments on the site. At first, like an a total naif, I was excited because a comment left means that someone actually read one of our columns. But, my excitement quickly dwindled when I got a look at his sarcastic remarks about the three columns that he had commented on [the tally is now up to seven]. Look, I wont sugarcoat things, clearly Ed isn't a fan of The Word, and the truth is that's OK. It's just something I have to get used to.