Really hard day

I'm having to keep myself inside today because I made plans for dying today, already know where I can go to die, got the tool and everything and if I go outside I know I'm going to go to the place I have in mind and I won't survive, someone please help talk me out of going there :depressed

Well, firstly I would recommend that you do stay inside as you don't want to take any chances. Have you tried to get any help from your family or friends, if not, what about calling a crisis line. I think the numbers are at the bottom of the homepage. Maybe you can get faster access to a therapist by calling or making an appointment in the next few days. If you have already tried this or you don't want to do this you can also distract yourself for the time being. Play games, watch a movie or some comedy videos on youtube. You can also sit down in a quite place, close your eyes and meditate for half an hour, it is surpising how much of a difference it can make in how you feel and think at least for a few hours. You can try the chat here and maybe talk to other members (most are nice) who might be able to relate to you and support you. Just putting a few suggestions out there.

Tell me why?? What is the reason for you to want to die?? I've been in the same position as you many times before and couldn't find anyone to talk to because I was so alone ,nobody would understand except a person who has been there before so please hold on and tell my why, it really helps to tell people and for you to talk it out, and please stay indoors because you should at least consider that you don't want to do it because people will care, I will care, so just tell me your problem and what it is that has made you feel like this, then we can start from there, I really hope this helps and for to answer back, and I'm sure whatever reason you have, its not worth taking your life for it,

Try to get to talk to someone, somewhere near you even if its just a stranger and tell them everything, and pick someone who is a good person, friends, family, doctor, whatever, and you can talk to me too,

Basically it's because all the constants in my life that I've been holding on for have gone and I'm alone. The NHS don't care, they kicked me out last time I tried to get help from them, the counsellor kicked me out when I told him I'#m suicidal and he won't see me any more, A&E kicked me out and called me a time waster the only time I turned up there, my ex decided to "forget" he already had a girlfriend and last week (was it only last week?) decided to tell me he already had a girlfriend and was marrying her, I had to give Dylan-cat up because of a family allergy (in March) and I don't think I've got anything worth trying to hang on for any more.