This will probably mostly consist of reports of how he managed to break a perfectly functional scooter/sidecar rig, or how he managed to completely miss an entire city while travelling.

We will be looking to add other voices to our blog as well should any of our members take an interest in sharing their experiences with the world - so stay tuned for updates and changes.

For the meanwhile, grab a hot drink, get into a comfortable reading position, and see whats happening in the world of the Canadian sidecarist. It may be occasionally frightening, but it should at least be even more occasionally entertaining.

Getting things sorted and ready for packing. Making sure all the costume bits are in place and ready to go. Making sure batteries and chargers and cameras and gizmos are working, have appropriate things loaded and running, and that I have extra electricality shoved into tiny boxes and ready to power things.

The Mad Bastard Scooter Rally is a chance to embrace a fundamental truth - that small displacement motorcycles and scooters are enormous, unqualified, undignified, gloriously silly, fun.

Don't get me wrong.. a bigger motorcycle has its place in things - you can't deny the appeal of a classically lined Triumph, the sexy swing of a sports bike through a corner, and the muted rumble of a big cruiser ambling down the road.

But there is something to be said for letting go of ego, for getting back to childhood and recognizing that anything two wheeled (or three in my case) with a motor and gas in the tank is a recipe for enjoyment.

When branding doesn't matter - it's all about the hand painted red go fast stripes on the neighbours moped with the dented exhaust that rattles down the road - but it doesn't matter because all you can see is a throttle and spinning wheels. The dented clanging exhaust hanging on by a thread of bailing wire is a roar only you can hear.

It's perception over reality - it's madness really.

And that's why I ride the MBSR.

Because it's pageantry, it's innocence, it's the crazed worship at the two wheeled church of motion.

And the bastard part? I suspect many riders who would never allow themselves to ride a scooter or moped would say that part with just a hint of envy, just a smattering of awe, just a tiny piece of admiration.

Because if you only see yourself on one type of bike, riding with one type of rider, riding the same roads.... I'm not sure you get the full experience of what being a rider is.

So the other day, the Burgman rig decided that it really didn't need all the welds in the muffler, and that it would be a super fun thing if the baffles were in smaller pieces and rattling around like crazy.

Yeah, fun.

At any rate - while on my way to the annual Barrie-Huronia CVMG swapmeet things got rather loud. After investigating, I found the end pipe was loose in the muffler can - and that things had somewhat disintegrated inside. Since I was almost at the CVMG event, I continued on - muttering to myself about how many lives my loud pipes were saving - and then nursed it afterwards back home.
(With an attempted JB weld patch job on the end pipe, but it didn't hold - too hot)

Fortunately, I was able to get some weld put on thanks to a friend at work and this at least solved part of the issue. (The centre pipe rattling around in the muffler can) It's still louder than normal, but should hold together at least for the short term.

Which is a good thing, as the OEM muffler turns out to be crazy expensive (600 bucks) and while after market ones are available for closer to $300, I've had to order from overseas (so it'll take 4 weeks to get here... meaning it will likely be after the MBSR rally.)

So all this gets me to thinking... about some of the mechanical issues I've dealt with over the years of doing the Mad Bastard rally.

The first rally was on a stock Kymco Bet and Win 150 - and not surprisingly, I didn't have any issues at all. (Kymco generally makes a rock solid machine.)

The Tomos Moped did get bad gas which caused some issues - and I didn't have any tools with me to try and clean the carb at all.
Fortunately it managed to clear itself out (I did buy some carb cleaner stuff at a gas station and put it in the tank.)

The Sachs Madass 125 ran just fine on the rally (despite torrential rain, and a few issues due to a missed PDI - we ended up with a machine right out a crate and it needed a replacement stator as I recall.... but once setup, it was pretty solid.)

The Sym Symba 125 ran beautifully.... up to the point where a loose nut caused the rear swingarm bolt to come loose. (Which made riding interesting.) Not the machines fault really, as I suspect someone had messed up torquing it down... but does show the importance of checking bolt tightness periodically.

My wife rode a Vespa P125 in two rallies... in the first, it died on the starting line. (Turned out the previous owner had kindly spraypainted the motor a nice metallic flake silver/grey... without removing the stator first. Which was full of conductive paint.)

The next rally she rode it in there wasn't a single electrical issue.... though of course the throttle cable started sticking, so we had to disassemble it mid rally and lube things up... which still didn't totally solve things, but turned it from a guaranteed deathtrap into only a possible deathtrap. Plus she did some sick wheelies so I don't know what she was complaining about.

Then we had the Vespa P200 I called the lucky thirteen... which had... well everything on it fail. Over the time I had it it had broken exhaust, wiring, headlight, cables, frame, engine, etc etc etc. Though it did the rally surprisingly well before perishing the next year.

There's probably some other faults in there somewhere I am forgetting, but nothing that was a real show stopper.... but this brings us to the next musing on this topic: Mechanical preparation

What to do to your Bike before the MBSR:

Check the fluids. Do you have enough oil? Has it been changed recently? Coolant (if applicable)? Gear oil?

Check the tires. Make sure you have proper pressures, and that the rubber is in good shape with plenty of tread. Check them for damage as well.

Are your nuts tight? Well then get to the doctor. (Sorry, I had to include that joke somewhere.) Makes sure your bolts, screws, nuts and other fasteners are right, tight, and on the bike. A missing swingarm bolt makes riding very interesting in a not so good kinda way. Trust me, I know.

Are your electicals electricking? Headlight works? Taillight? Brakelight? Turn signals? Does the battery charge? (This can be quickly checked with a multi-meter placed upon the battery)

Bring some basic tools - some allen keys, screwdriver, maybe a wrench or two. What you might need depends on your bike. Some zipties are very handy for holding on broken bits. Take some thought about what is likely to be used versus how much space it takes up.

Get some practice riding it. This will help let you know if your bike is running right, especially if you take it for a longer ride. It can also let you know about comfort issues.... maybe your rear end needs some more cushioning due to primitive scooter suspension and potentially rough roads somewhere in the middle of Nowhere, Ontario.

Most modern scooters should be pretty reliable, and be able to handle even the endurance run that is the MBSR rally just fine - but you don't want to be stuck somewhere with the vultures feasting on your still-warm corpse and fellow MBSR riders stealing parts from your scooter.

Unless they'll work on my Burgman that is, then go for it. I especially need a new seat cover, so if you could perish in such a manner as to spare the seat I would appreciate it.

I'd also recommend a CAA+ plus type roadside assistance membership... while there usually is a sweep truck, it might be a quite lengthy process to get it to you. Which means you might be out there a while if you have to wait for them.

Which means the mosquitoes feast upon you, you perish, and I take the seat from your bike. Err... or someone does anyways. Definitely not me.

We only have a few weeks to go now.... if you are reading this and you're a new signup to the MBSR rally, congrats! You are about to have a truly unique and memorable experience which in no way is likely to lead to your death and the enrichment of my parts stock. Instead, you will be laughing, tired, excited, bored, sunburned and chilled... all in a single day's riding!

We're coming up to the final stretch before I do the MBSR rally - just about 4 weeks to go.

This means I have to start the decoration work on my scooter soon - the Burgman 400 sidecar rig.

This year's theme for our team and my costume is "Star Trek Redshirt" - so we'll be doing some Trekkie type decorations on the scooter. And as is traditional for most scooter decorations for the Mad Bastard Scooter rally, it'll probably be somewhat half assed and leave bits of decoration over several hundred KM like a plastic trail of breadcrumbs.

Which at least will make our bodies easy to find when we inevitably get lost, starve to death or are eaten by rabid squirrels somewhere in the middle of nowhere Ontario.

(Disclaimer: It is entirely possible the squirrels that will eat us are not actually rabid.)

So... what to do for a trekkie type scooter?

The Burgman already has that 80's futuristic type look - so by adding a few details we might be able to make it look like a shuttlecraft. If you squint hard enough, or someone pokes you in the eye before you look at it. Which I'll be reserving as an option when judging comes around.

First... I'll need stickers. I'll be getting some ones made that look like this....

And then something to make it look a little bit like a military vehicle...

After that will be some custom decals saying things like "Star Fleet Security" and such - my ever patient wife's work does vinyl installs and has a vinyl plotter so they will be making up some custom ones to add into the mix.

No photos since they don't actually exist as yet.... I just gave them some carefully drawn sketches that in no way resemble the scratchings of a 3 year old with crayons and excessive caffeine.

They'll probably look at them carefully, call me an idiot, toss those out and make something likely better. Though depending on how they interpret my writing it might be something completely different than intended.

The decorations will include also a tribute or two to Rob Harris (MBSR founder) - something I feel is important as it's my way of bringing him along for one last rally.

There will also be some work with LED lighting - I'm currently thinking of adding "Nacelles" to the top box on the back of the Burgman which will glow with blue LED light strips. I have the strips already, and am just figuring out how to make the nacelles.

Currently I'm thinking of using some clear plastic tubing I have to make them - and then just frosting them so they are translucent and not transparent. Should diffuse the blue light from the LEDS and give it more of an overall glow - at least that's the hope.

All in all, I think it should come together to make something recognizable... hopefully with a good touch of humour, and an even bigger touch of madness.

Because in the end - it's about both.

Not long to go, much to do - and it'll be interesting seeing how it all comes together at the last minute.

You'd think choosing a scooter for something like the MBSR would be a simple thing.

But what to ride isn't the first thing you have to ask yourself - the first thing you need to ask is what kind of rider will I be?

Are you going full out to win? Then you'll need a 50cc, and you'll need to carefully consider which one.

Are you entering for fun, but want a small chance of winning, but don't want to outright hurt yourself with a marathon ride? You might be best to select a 125-150cc model.

Is your rear end made of glass, and you cannot be without an attached Cappuccino maker on your scoot? Then Maxi might be your preferred class. (That's part of the reason I'm taking a Maxi, but I'm also doing a sidecar with a passenger so a 50cc would.... definitely not work.)

Here's a breakdown of the Pros and Cons of each class of scooter:

50cc:

The 50cc scooter is what the Mad Bastard Scooter Rally was created for - and really what it is all about. Points are awarded partly on the engine size, so 50cc is what you will need if you want a serious shot at coming out as the winner of the rally.

But it isn't as simple as just running out and grabbing anything 50cc or under. Not all small engine scooters are created equal.

A couple of years ago, there was an entry on a 40 year old scooter pretty much dragged straight out of a barn and put into the rally. It topped out (as I recall) at something like 40kph - if there wasn't a headwind. Or hill. Or too much pressure from sunlight. Or people looking at it.

The rider (again, as I recall) spent something like 22 hours before realizing it was mathematically impossible for him to finish. I have huge respect for that rider, especially given the rough conditions (rain all morning, cold) and how physically tough it is to power on through when your machine isn't powering much of anything at all.

But while I'm sure they got extra mad points... they didn't finish.

So first thing you need to look for in your 50cc is - how fast is it? You'll want it to go at least 60kph on the flat. Minimum. I used a Tomos Targa moped several years back which topped off at 65kph under best conditions - though it couldn't climb a hill if my life depended on it and it almost did. It took me 21 hours to get back to home back... and no bonus loop.

You'll need to balance age of the scooter (Older is more points) with power - things like the Kymco Super 9 liquid cooled 2 stroke scooter will go higher speeds, but will not get you as many points as something older. You can't go wrong with something like the Yamaha BWS 50 either - if its stock, you can pretty much pin the throttle and drive until the gas runs out. There are also things like the Honda Cubs if you want to go vintage - they can be quite reliable if in good condition and also can get you the scooter age points.

Mopeds - if your butt is up to the challenge, go for it - but know that you might be peddling a bit to get it up hills and might be out there a very long time indeed.

125-150cc:

This is the sweet spot for having a chance to maybe win - and yet having something that you can hit 80kph on and maybe come close to doing the speed limit on the rural roads. My first MBSR was on a 150cc Kymco Bet and Win - a real tank of a scooter. It was something like 12-13 hours for us to finish (no bonus loop) and with a top speed of 90kph for the most part I wasn't holding up traffic.

They quite often have a good price point in the used market as well - they aren't as crazy cheap as a 50cc (which loses half its value every 30 seconds of riding) but they are available at a relative bargain price, and anything less than 15 years old and not jumped in a dukes-of-hazzard style - should be reliable and easy to drive. You probably won't win on this as the 50cc's really do have (rightfully so) a huge advantage, but you will have a shot if you do everything right.

Maxi Scooters:

Maxi scooters have a theoretical change of winning the MBSR. For example, if all of the smaller engine CC machines run off a cliff in lemming-like fashion, you might win. If a meteorite strikes the middle of the rally and sweeps away all the lighter machines, maybe you'll end up number 1 on the podium.

But I wouldn't hold my breath. (And I recommend you don't either. Breathing really is a wonderful thing.)

But the maxi scooters tend to have power to spare - making it easier to get to the rally. You can hop on a 400 series highway and not end up immediately as a SUV hood ornament. (It will take several minutes for that to happen with a Maxi.) You can bring your heated gear, coffee maker, bread maker and probably enough luggage for several weeks.

This is what you want if you're crazy, but not THAT crazy. You might talk to yourself, but you rarely argue with yourself in public. And almost never about setting fire to things, like the 50cc riders. (We won't mention the moped riders and what they mumble as they walk along in their dazed, crazed fashion.)

Plus if you are crazy enough, you can add a sidecar to your Maxi. Then you can bring along a passenger to slap you awake occasionally - or just to hand you a fresh Cappuccino.

Summary:

As I said, there are many factors to weigh when choosing your ride - and it all comes down to how you want to ride the MBSR.

Just out to experience the event and have a pleasant days ride? A Maxi might be your best bet.

Looking to get a little madder, but you still have some social skills and sense of reality? Get something in the 125-150cc range.

Does your imaginary friend have an imaginary friend? You need a 50cc. And help.

Factor in age of the scooter - more points versus less reliability. Factor in practicalities as getting the scooter to the rally... will it take you several days of riding with a 50cc just to arrive, increasing the chances of you falling asleep and being eaten by a badger along the way? Do you want to buy a used, cheap, ugly machine and really go to town on the decoration?

Choose the way you want to MBSR - there is no wrong way to do it, and you'll have a great time any option you pick.

Unless you pick a moped. And then have to have it surgically removed. Because it's hard to live that down when you go to see your doctor.

We're well along the way into Spring now - and pretty much out of anything resembling frozen water falling from the sky, but I thought I would take a break from my MBSR blogging to talk a bit about something that makes getting a sidecar really something special.

Winter riding.

"But Jamie, what is the point of winter riding?" you might ask. "Why would I expose myself to the dangers and discomfort of the scary white stuff, when by all that is natural and sacred my motorcycle should be peacefully sleeping in my heated garage?" you might also ask.

Winter riding needn't be either unpleasant, or unsafe - especially with a sidecar. With a two wheeled motorcyle you stand a strong risk (depending on tires, road conditions, etc) of hitting a patch of ice unexpectedly and then through a brief period of sky, ground, sky, ground, scream, thud, moan. (Which may not seem terribly brief while experiencing it.)

3 wheels will keep you upright, and as long as you give extra space and are aware of traction limits - you should be safe enough riding around in the snowy wonderland that is Canada in winter.

One disclaimer I should give is that I'm a Toronto rider, so for the most part I do get clear roads in winter. Also, my personal limits would be about -20C - the bike gets a bit more difficult to start up below that.

First things first: Get yourself warm gear.

Gear Advice:

First rule of winter riding gear is you need to block the wind and cover your skin. This will mean things like a windproof/water resistant suit, balaclava that covers the neck, warm gloves, etc.

For a suit, I recommend personally a one piece suit - personally I use the Firstgear Thermo which is an insulated rainsuit. It does an excellent job of blocking both wind and rain and is a great outer layer. Snowmobile suits also can work quite well for this. Keep in mind what the suit is made for - snowmobile suits may not have any abrasion resistance, and may be subject to melting if accidentally put against a hot exhaust.

A suit like this works well - this is the Firstgear Thermo.

For balaclava - get something that will cover the neck. Occasionally when it gets close to -20, I'll add a balaclava and then add a second neck warmer on top of that. You have some big blood vessels that go through the neck, and you can lose a huge amount of heat if cold air gets to it - so make sure you get that covered.

Gloves - personally I have a couple solutions I use. Right now I am using ATV handlebar mitts (with a hole added for the mirrors on my machine) and thin gloves combined with heated grips. The handlebar mitts do a good job of keeping wind/snow/rain off of my hands, and the thin gloves allow for dexterity when handling the controls.

Something like this:

I've also in the past used snowmobile mitts - Canadian tire occasionally sells leather ones, and the all fingers together one piece design really helps in keeping hands warm. Seams are not your friend when it comes to winter riding gear, and the mitts leak less air. Plus keeping your fingers together helps in keeping them warm.

Snowmobile boots might be an idea - something that is windproof, warm, waterproof. Especially if you ride in the city where salt is prevalent and slush gets all over your feet - even up and above on the footpegs or floorboard.

Which brings us to....

Taking care of your machine in Winter Riding:

First of all, if you are in an area like me where salt is used, be aware of the effect it can have on your motorcycle. Salt causes rust on steel, and will put and eat away at aluminum parts as well. One solution is a winter beater bike - something you don't mind getting a bit rusty and beaten up by the elements. Which will happen when you ride in winter.... plastics crack more easily, crud gets frozen into the bike and scratches form, vinyl tends to rip when cold, etc etc.

A protective oil product can help - spraying it can help protect metal parts of your machine. I've used ACF-50 which is an anti-corrosion product used by the aviation industry and it does a really good job. Just make sure when spraying the oil to keep it off of your tires - traction is bad enough in winter, you don't need to add oil to the mix.

If you have a chain, clean and lube it - ideally after every ride. It will extend the life of your chain. (Though I admit, if you are a back yard parker like me, this may not really be an option every time.)

In an ideal world - you would thoroughly wash the bike after every ride but without an enclosed space with adequate drainage, this likely isn't a real option. In which case do a very thorough wash as soon as it warms up - and again after a couple of weeks.

Especially during Canadian springs it can be a while before all the salt leaves the roadway.

Consider using a battery tender. Motorcycle batteries are small, and the oil used in a bike gets thicker the colder it gets - making the bike harder to start. Also components like starters may have greater difficulty working in the cold, which when combined with a battery losing capacity due to cold means your bike may not start when you want it to.

A battery tender will keep the battery from losing charge (possibly preventing damage) and will make sure you have the charge.to get the motor spinning - it can take a lot of cranking the colder it gets.

General riding tips:

Keep in mind, when riding in winter, that even on supposedly dry and clean pavement you will have reduced traction. Your tires will be colder, resulting in less grip. Ice can hide on the road, resulting in less grip.

Give extra distance ahead of you, be cautious in your braking and steering, and be gentle on the brakes whenever possible.

Be even on the brakes as well - use both front and back brake together.

In addition - keep in mind the "Traction bank". You have a set amount of traction, which is reduced in winter. If you use part of this to steer, this reduces the amount you have to brake. (And vice versa.) Therefore if you are steering, you need to be careful with how much brake is applied.

Also, be aware of other drivers. Frequently car drivers will forget to allow extra braking distance.... which makes it important for you to. If you can avoid panic braking, you can hopefully avoid the driver behind you being unable to stop and hitting you from behind.

In general - be aware, be cautious, and ride it like you borrowed it from your extra picky grandmother.

Conclusion:

Winter riding can allow you to scratch that motorcycling itch when all of your friends are still stuck looking at pictures of past rides and moping morosely on a couch in a terribly depressing rec room. Because in winter, all rec rooms are depressing if you are a real motorcyclist.

Just be aware of the limits of your body, the limits of traction, and the limits of awareness of the drivers around you - and you'll be able to be out riding when others refuse to. You'll be that guy who gets called a crazy bastard at winter meetups, and takes a certain perverse pride in it.

Because you're a rider - and even the forces of nature can't stop you.

In my last blog article I talked a bit (and showed some pictures) of the scooter and costume efforts in past Mad Bastards.

Last rally for example, I not only steampunked my Vespa/Sidecar rig, I built an entire life size steampunk robot to ride in the sidecar. Articulated body, lights, moving gears and all.

He was combined with full costume (Leather steampunk vest I sewed myself, extra lights on the scooter.... which didn't really help that much in the end as I managed to leave them on overnight and drain the battery.)

I'd done a steampunk theme the rally before with a loaner Sym Symba- doing a hand tooled leather seat cover, and a fake steam engine that went on the back of the luggage rack, again with moving gears and lights.

So having done steampunk two rallies in a row... this year I decided to do something different.

Also, I'm doing a team costume as my brother will be joining in on the insanity - as he has for the last few rallies.

So we needed a good team costume. And to my mind, a good team costume for the MBSR has to conform to the following rules:

1. You have to be able to wear the costume the entire day.

This sounds deceptively simply, but when you are talking about being out for 18 hours on a scooter, both riding and running around like a crazed person (which is after all, part of the MBSR tradition), you would be surprised on just how many body parts you can chafe. Including on occasion ones belonging to innocent bystanders.

And they really don't forgive you for that, even if you drop by later with baby powder and pie.

So - have something reasonable to wear.

2. The costume has to be safe to wear.

No long scarves, capes, or anything that can be caught in the rear tire for example. While the resulting decapitation would probably get you a few extra mad points, you might have some difficulty in collecting them at the end of the rally.

Plus those of you with a really cool hat collection would need to find a new hobby, and you don't want that.

3. Plan for a variety of temperatures and conditions.

The MBSR is held around the summer solstace for the simple reason that it is the longest day of the year - and maximizing sunlight is a good thing on a rally as long as this. (You'll know why when you've been riding in the dark for a while in the middle of nowhere dressed like a lunatic.)

This means with our lovely predictable Canadian weather that of course it will be a constant 18 degrees C., with no rain or wind and just the right amount of constant comfortable sunlight.

Or likely not.

Several years the temperatures have been low enough when starting off at 4:30AM that there is a touch of frost forming on the scooters.

One of those years there is was a participant wearing a kilt.

I'm pretty sure the combination of those two things led to the loss of several body parts he was particularly attached to. Or no longer attached to, as the case may be.

Bring some layers - you can always wear your costume at the start line and layer up over it for the first few hours of riding. (Generally there is less in the way of photographic challenges during the first little bit anyways.)

You can then peel off the layers later on when the temperature climbs - and it can go from the edge of frost up to full on sweatbox summer over the course of the day.

Which it did the year there was an entry with a gentleman wearing a full ape suit for the entire day. I'm pretty sure the results of the shower after the rally caused an entire hotel cleaning crew to quit outright.

4. It's all about the funny photos, and the laughs you get along the way.

I still get a laugh thinking of the year we rode behind two guys in viking outfits - they were chanting, singing, waving plastic axes, had boxes of "Loot" on the backs of their scooters and looked like complete and utter nutbars.

That's just about perfect.

You want something that adds to the carnival feel of the whole event. It's all about the laugh, the pose for the perfect comedic shot.
Half the fun is just in the sunday morning slideshow, showing everyone in their finery acting like proper MBSR lunatics. It's like Halloween on steroids, but combined with two wheeled fun... and what could be better?

So think ahead, not just for the immediate sight gag... but funny photos you can take along the way.

So what did I come up with for this year?

Right.... following my own rules it had to have an element of humour.

It had to be something at least somewhat original in terms of the rally. Though some classics do repeat.

It had to be something allowing for comedic photos along the way.

And it had to work as a team costume.

Which got me thinking.... team costume... team....

The Away Team. Star Trek redshirts.

With this as a starting point - I began to think... what would the Star Trek redshirts do if they had actual vehicular transportation instead of being abandoned without food, water, warm jackets, etc - on a hostile alien planet with murderous creatures.

What if they were given helmets, jackets, and then stranded on a hostile alien planet with murderous creatures? (Possibly pirates, or a guy in a kilt or ape costume?)

Things like matching helmets, jackets and props were obtained. The bikes will have added lighting and various vinyl decals added to give an "Away Team" feel to the whole shebang.

I even added an additional crewmember for the comedic value. A skeleton in a redshirt we'll be calling "Bones".

I figured it would save time if we brought someone pre-killed.

I'll be adding in the occasional teaser picture of the costume prep for this year - but I'll leave a lot of the details out of the public eye until the rally day itself.

And I fully expect to be laughing, amazed, and impressed by the efforts of all the other entrants in the rally.... some people leaving bits of home made costume in an easily followed trail for 600km, to the people who look like they stepped out of a major Hollywood production.

There will even be the odd one that will make you stare and think - and you'll get the joke several hours later and cannot stop laughing. Which again feeds into the whole lunatic thing.

And being part of a lovable group of utter lunatics - is after all - pretty much the entire point.

So far as I know, it's the only scooter rally where you are encouraged to decorate your bike and wear crazy outfits.

And over the years, people certainly have gone all out to do just that.

From ape costumes to vikings, from spaceships to pirate ships, you name it and somebody has done it on a MBSR scooter.

I've turned mopeds into army bikes.

Made props and costumes... learning some sewing and leatherwork and other skills along the way....

The process of assembling a MBSR outfit and scooter decoration is half scavenger hunt, half hollywood prop build. It can take months of building, ordering bits, putting it all together - or it can be a last minute rush to glue things onto a used and abused scooter and throwing some spraypaint on some painters overalls.

The Mad Bastard Scooter Rally is a thoroughly silly event - comical even. You dress up in ridiculous outfits, decorate your scooters and ride the under-powered machines in a crazed fashion across distances and in places that really are not suited for small wheeled, small displacement vehicles.

It's crazy - and yet it changed my life in several very important ways.

And I have one person to thank for it in ways I quite tragically and literally cannot repay - Rob Harris.

Up until the time of my first MBSR rally, I was a rider around the Toronto area - I really didn't venture very far from home. I was however an avid reader of motorcycle adventures - in Canada Moto Guide and elsewhere.

Probably the furthest I had ventured on my machine up to that point was Kingston, on side roads and taking far too much time and being far too timid. I mean, it was a scooter, right? I was pushing the boundaries of what was possible - you kept hearing how you really couldn't take them out of downtown, and taking them out of a parking lot was sheer lunacy.

And then I read about the first MBSR, with Rob Harris and compatriots taking 50cc Honda Ruckus scooters around a great lake, and my world changed. 2004 MBSR Rally

I realized it wasn't about the machine - it was about the rider, about the experience, about throwing pride and common sense out the window and having an adventure - regardless of what the armchair experts told you was possible, practical, or doable.

I wasn't able to attend the 2nd MBSR - but by the third rally I was in. By then I had a 150cc Kymco Bet and win, and my ever-patient wife was riding a 250cc Kymco Bet and Win.

We decorated the machines with stickers (in my case saying "MAD! MAD! MAD!" and in her case "RUNNING WITH SCISSORS!" which caused her to be mistaken for an advertisement for a hair cutting place.)

We went from the starting point up to Ottawa and back around and down to Belleville. We took 12 hours to do the event - skipping the optional loop as we were exhausted. But we had made it - we did more distance that day than we had ever done before. We were taken through some gorgeous side roads, felt like explorers, felt challenged and felt part of a mad, crazy, wonderful group that were all together in an adventure.

The next rally I decided to go all out and rode it on a Tomos moped. It was of course the year that Rob decided we'd take a hugely steep hill (Foymont road) and I got to experience my moped coming to a complete stop while at full throttle - I simply ran out of power, and had to push the bike while running beside it.

We nearly got hypothermia, I got bad gas and stalled several times, we got lost and I'm pretty sure the locals in one town called the OPP on us when we rode through several times in the middle of the night looking for the right way to go. All in all it took me 21 hours on the moped - and my wife got a DNF because she stuck with me while riding her 250cc. (Which gets less time to finish.)

That was also the year that Rob asked people to do some blogs on CMG - which gave me a chance to write up some of my preparation.

Next thing you knew, I was doing scooter reviews. (I suspect at least partly as the full time writers didn't really enjoy testing scooters for the most part, but I did genuinely enjoy testing the smaller machines. Especially as most of my riding is commuting in the city, where a 125-300cc machine really comes into its' own.)

I had a range of experiences while doing articles for Rob and CMG - things I wouldn't have the opportunity to do otherwise. Also various situations like drunken phone calls from an angry motorcycle dealer, a loaner bike malfunction in the bug infested middle of nowhere, and having the occasional moment during a test ride that strongly resembled the movie Deliverance.

But Rob was always there - if you were doing something for him, he would back you to the hilt. Even if you weren't, he'd help you any way he could. He was always good for advice, always good for a laugh.

For the 2015 rally, Rob decided to sell the MBSR rally to Kymco - something that was understandable given the rally had grown each year and was becoming more and more of a handful to manage.

The Monday after the rally I got a phone call from him - we talked over the rally, about my writing a report on it again. He talked a bit about how torn he was - on one hand the MBSR had become a huge amount of work, and he was glad to have a break from it - but on the other hand it was something that was very close to him and that he felt a certain sense of ownership for.

He'd stayed away from the 2015 rally to give Kymco a chance to run things without worrying about the "former ownership" - but he was at least toying with the idea of riding the 2017 rally and once again enjoying things from the seat of an underpowered, silly little machine.

Unfortunately - Rob passed away in 2016. Which was a blow to many people - his family, his friends, and the motorcycling community as a whole.

I'd actually been pondering not doing the 2017 rally myself - it takes a bit of preparation, the expense, and just the usual question about if I was up for abusing myself once again for the sake of silliness.

But now, there wasn't a question. I'd be there. And I'd be dedicating my ride to Rob. He'll be a part of the ride, he'll be along in spirit on this thing that he created.

Because sometimes the silly little things in life are the most important things of all.

Rob Harris taught me that, while making me a better rider, a better writer, and quite likely by example a better person.

It was ten years ago I first entered an event in Belleville, Ontario called the Mad Bastard Scooter Rally.

I'd read on CMG (Canada moto guide) about a group who had taken 50cc scooters around one of the great lakes - taking many hours to do 800 or so KM in a mad rush. You can read some of the history here - http://www.madbastardrally.com/2004.html

By the second rally, this had morphed into a larger event... and things like scooter decorations and costumes had been added to the mix.

I joined, together with my ever patient wife Cindy, the third rally - in 2007.

I've decorated every bike in ever rally I've entered - and occasionally gone a little.... overboard. Some might say mad. Which of course, fits right into the spirit of the thing.

All in all over the years I've ridden the MBSR in the following machines:

That's half of the history - my next post will include some of how the MBSR changed how I ride, and how it influenced where I ride. After that I'll be doing a series of blog entries on my preparation and musings about the MBSR in my own unique style.

Ok - so we're backtracking here a little to tell the story of the sidecar rig that came around in the time of the Ural and finished in the time of the Burgman.

I'd always had a fascination for tiny scooter/sidecar rigs for some reason. So when I came into some extra cash, and since I had a shifty vespa (a PX125E kitted with a DR177 kit) I decided to look around for a sidecar to throw on. Cozy and Inder (among others) had sidecars that were reportedly a "bolt on kit"

Now I should have realized this was a bad idea - we'd had reliable P series vespas before, but we'd also had some bad experiences. Like the PX125 that broke down on the starting line of the Mad Bastard Scooter rally - and then on the next rally managed to have a throttle malfunction that caused it to be either racing or just stalling outright.

This is that culprit.

The Vespa sidecar ended up being obtained from Fada scooters, who installed the thing one evening and being the first of its type they had installed, soon found out the "bolt on kit" required quite a bit of adjustment to get to fit. (But they persevered, and did a great job and didn't charge me extra - great service from them.)

The Vespa got attached, then I spend the rest of the summer riding the thing around. It actually did fairly well, topping out about 80kph and handling Toronto traffic well enough.

But early the next year, the motor.... ended. I took it into be fixed and it would have needed a new top end, plus the rotary pad was scratched so a reed valve kit would have been necessary to get it back on the road - all together too much work when you combined it with a complete rebuild.

I found a P200 that the owner promised was in "running shape" with a primer body, and bought it cheap.

Turned out it needed several things as well.

After that, the wiring harness needed work. Then the lights. Then the tank lining starting degrading.

And to top it all off, the frame broke.

It ended up with a huge bill (probably more than the the scooter was worth) and it ended up looking like this after a lot of work.

I took it into the 2015 Mad Bastard Scooter rally - 600km over a maximum (For my CC class) of 18 hours, with puzzles and challenges.

And that was a punishing experience.

But apparently not punishing enough... because I decided to answer the question nobody had every asked.... could you make a Vespa into an offroad bike?

I decided I'd take it on some rail trails near my cottage as a proof of concept.

And it turned out to.... work pretty well in fact.

Of course I have to admit... I had some prior history to go on for this.

In 1980 a French team entered in 4 Vespa P200 scooters into the Paris-Dakar rally. they crossed 10,000km from Paris all the way to Dakar Senegal - with 2 of the team finishing. (out of 90 motorcycles that started the race, only 25 finished... so they beat the odds by far.)

so I knew the P200 could in theory handle the abuse. And indeed, the playing around I did in the dirt went quite well. The Vespa had 9 inchs (just about) of ground clearance, which is better than a KLR650. It was lightweight, had a sidecar so it wouldn't fall over, and had manual gearing that would allow me to more easily adjust my speed and play with the clutch when needed.

We were going to do the park to park trail (a 150km off road trail in Ontario) - but first I decided to take it on the Overland Adventure rally.

And thats when things went wrong... yet again.

The exhaust stub - the little round piece that the exhaust bolts into, fell off. Midway through the rally.

Which was kinda bad - as I didn't have quite the right tools to put it back. I limped it back to the hotel, but to make a long story short - I decided I needed a break from 40 year old machines for a bit - and the "Lucky 13" got put up for sale.

Weirdly enough, part of me does miss the tempermental little machine - I did have quite a lot of fun blasting around the rail trails on it.

But I'm thinking one day... again if budget permits.... I might build another street scooter/sidecar rig.... and try it out on the trails.

Hmm... elite 250 takes 10 inch tires.... which you can get knobbies for.....

Ok my wife might kill me for that one.

So in this overly long, overly detailed and occasionally outright rambling introduction - where does that leave us?

Probably with more of a cautionary tale than anything else... but despite that I'll end with the observation that sidecars get into the blood after a while.

They're a strange sickness, neither car nor motorcycle and combining the best and the worst of both.

But they're one I wouldn't give up for the world.

Next on the Webmaster's Blog: What I am doing to prepare for the Mad Bastard Scooter rally, and how a Burgman 400 is being transformed into a Star Trek shuttle. (And why.)

So as I mentioned I was heading into late fall (when my two wheeled machines get put away) and the Ural after much faithful service, was dead.

And the engine replacement was out of what I could really afford to pay at the time.

Enter in Kijiji, and some fervent hope that I would find something.

Online classifieds can be a fickle beast when it comes to finding sidecar rigs - it's such as niche market that you will occasionally find several rigs sitting at quite reasonable prices because nobody is buying, and you will occasionally find absolutely nothing for sale whatsoever.

I started scouring the ads - and then one popped up.

A 2006 Burgman 400 with Armec sidecar.

Not strictly what I was looking for - but the rig did have several advantages.

The automatic CVT transmission would be a nice thing in stop and go Toronto traffic for one. Then the full fairing would help for winter driving, keeping some of the cold wind and spray off me. (Plus it came with an oversized windshield.) The price was also quite affordable - $3900 when Burgman 400 scooters of this vintage were going for $2800-3100.

The mileage was also quite low - 12,000km. Which proved to be a double edged sword, as I will explain later.

I went out to see it, took it for a spin around the block - all in all it drove well enough. The Armec sidecar was originally designed for a Honda Helix 250cc scooter and was quite light - which meant it did tend to pop up in right hand turns, but not too badly all in all. It had decent pickup for a 400cc wtih a sidecar, and all in all wasn't in too bad of a shape.

So after some work to get cash transferred and get a trailer to pick it up - we brought it home.

Next I took it to Old Vintage Cranks, who had given me a store credit for the remains of my Ural - which would prove handy.

Here's the Burgman at OVC, being taken apart and several things being done:

Tires were old and were replaced (there was some minor cracking, and it just isn't worth trying to push tires that might blow out on you.) This led to the discovery that the exhaust manifold was basically rusted into being one solid piece - and it was recessed, making a major mission out of what should have been a quick cut off the bolts type job.

Front fork seals were replaced after it became evident that they were bad and leaking (getting oil into the front where it got to the brake pads)

Brake pads were replaced, and Ken at OVC added a spacer to the front suspension.

All in all, when they were finished mechanically it was running quite well and all the service items had been looked at and dealt with - it was ready for the road.

Here's the bike at the Overland Adventure Rally - where I took it with my Vespa P200 sidecar rig (which is another story, one of mechanical ineptitude on my part and overall woe.)

The following summer I did have to have further work done (this time at GP Bikes) when the starter motor failed.

At which point I discovered that the OEM starter motor was apparently $600 bucks. GP bikes did a great job of finding one aftermarket for $150, but I turned out to be extra lucky as one I had picked up with some other things ended up working - and it had cost something like $40.

Over the next while I would also replace the sidecar seats (which were getting crumbly and the plywood base was rotting a bit)
I dragged out the sewing machine, got some bargain basement vinyl, made some new seat bases and covered them with some leftover foam - and came up with these.

I also polished off some of the oxidation from the sidecar, and thanks to my wife (who works in retail window film) got some pinstipes and decals applied to the sidecar in red to help it match the burgman a little bit better.

Other things added was a RAM mount for my iphone for GPS use, a 12v and USB accessory plug, and a new backrest.

The stock backrest pushed me a bit too far forward, but I had read on the burgman riders forum about someone who had used an automotive headrest instead. (Replacements were available, but would have been $150 not including shipping)

The Headrest needed some bending in a vise, but otherwise worked quite well and was only $15 bucks.

All in all, after the above work was done the Burgman has proven to be a good city commuter. I can pick up the odd passenger, haul home groceries, and drive in winter and ice/snow conditions without falling over in an embarassing manner.

It also is quite decent on fuel economy (especially compared to the Ural)

We're still planning on a more motorcycle oriented sidecar rig when the budget allows, but the Burgman will likely stay a part of the stable for quite some time - especially since insurance is under $300 a year for basic liability.

So that's the story of my current daily driver.

Next time I'll go into the story of the somewhat cursed, but always entertaining.... Adventure Scooter 13. The rig that would put a smile on your face only to immediately glue a scowl in it's place.

Introduction to be continued (and yes I know it's the longest introduction in the world, with War and Peace starting to look like a lightweight, but I promise we'll eventually get the introduction finished and get to other blog entries of various levels of entertainment. And by various, mostly low levels.)

As I said, we had no idea what we were in for. Having the Ural changed how my wife and I took vacations - starting with weekend camping trips (the luggage space making it FAR easier to go motorcycle camping.)

But the biggest trip would come as a result of one of a big loss - the passing of my grandfather.

My grandfather, Jack, was a lifelong motorcycle enthusiast and a despatch rider in WW2. We decided the only appropriate way to go to his memorial in Victoria, BC was to ride the Ural all the way out there. The ride report for that can be found here - "Chasing Jack: A ride report"

You really haven't seen the country until you've gone across it on a motorcycle. And if you ask me, even more so on a sidecar. With my wife driving half the distance, I got to watch the country pass by from the sidecar. We got to meet new people, experience things that we really wouldn't have experienced from inside the cage of a cage.

The sidecar changed everything.

We did other trips - renting a sidecar in Provence, France to tour around on a trip we were lucky enough to go on with my grandmother on my mothers' side and a group of WW2 fighter pilots. (My grandfather Bob was a Typhoon pilot in WW2)
The ride report for that trip can be found here - Between Earth and Sky: A sidecar trip in Provence

We made more trips, ran rallies such as the "Going Sideways" rallies, went to the east coast and did the Cabot trail.

We did it all - but unfortunately after 50,000+ KM the Ural decided that the engine no longer wanted to have a moving crankshaft - and late one night as we were on the way to ride the Park to Park trail, just passing through Irondale, Ontario, the Ural seized up and coasted to a stop at the side of the road.

Our once shiny, now rusty and battered machine was dead.

We took it in - but the news was bad. The engine cases were damaged and a new engine was going to cost $6000 plus installation. It was a bad time budgetwise, and this wasn't really an option.

I decided after looking around to buy a used Burgman 400 rig with an Armec sidecar - to use as my daily driver instead of the Ural. And sidecar,

And the story of the Burgman will be part 3 of my introduction.... coming soon.

There's probably something fundamentally wrong with most people who write a blog.

First of all, the arrogance that leads you to believe you have something other people want to read - and that your viewpoint and/or writing is interesting enough to keep them coming back to keep reading new posts.

Then there is a certain mental exhibitionism as well, the desire to share your thought process and your experiences out to the larger world.

In my case, the motivations are many and mixed - on one hand I'm sharing knowledge of Sidecaring, and contributing in however small a fashion to the knowledge floating out there on the world wide web. (Of which there are many sites, if relatively few Canadian-specific)

Part of that knowledge just being - stories.

Stories of experiences found on the road. Stories of mistakes made and solutions found. Stories of rigs driven, roads travelled and peoeple met.

Because it isn't always about the cold equations of sidecaring - you can find guides on setup and lean-out and toe-in up the wazoo, but sometimes you just want to find out how something *feels*. Even if it is secondhand.

So this blog will not be entirely chronological. It won't always be strictly relevant. It occasionally will be silly, and sometimes will be serious.

It'll be whatever flashes through my squirrel-on-cappuccino brain, filtered out for the somewhat sidecar relevant bits, then further edited by a distracted madman in his occasional moments between other projects.

So consider that fair warning, and we'll get on with the first in a probably overly long series of entries in the life of Jamie, CSOC Webmaster and sidecar rider.

Webmaster's Blog #1: How I learned to stop worrying and love the sidecar.

About 15 years or so ago, I stumbled into pictures of the Ural sidecar motorcycle. I can't remember exactly where, exactly how. I saw the pictures, read a little on them, and then moved on.

But something stuck. Something itched in the corner of my brain, leading to me scratching those wayward neurons by reading more and looking up more pictures on the internet.

Eventually after a couple of yearsI went to see one in person at the now defunct Pickering Village Motors - and sitting on it convinced me I had to have one.

It was old fashioned. Crude even. With all the quirks of still yet to be polished soviet manufacturing plant that had only begun to make it's way towards what the current bikes have.

I wavered back and forth, discussed finances with my wife (who also fell for it once we went to see it.)

We went to see a used Dnepr being sold for a far lower price at Old Vintage Cranks (then in Hillsburg Ontario, now in Acton.)

Ken, the owner of OVC took us out for a spin in the sidecar. It shook, rattled, roared like the angry fist of some maniacal, mythical and massive sewing machine - furiously clicking the pushrods and the two opposed cylinders making lots of noise and little horsepower.

You couldn't get on the thing without the sound of an vintage action movie playing in the back of your head.

But when it came to answering questions - we had a big one. We asked Ken "Would that be suitable for trips?"

He paused. Thought about it, finally answering "I wouldn't take that one on a long distance trip" while gesturing towards the army-green Dnepr rig we had just ridden "but I'd take that Ural over there across the country."

We looked at it, all black and chrome and whispering a song of dust and travel and the places you find only when you aren't looking at all.

We went home to "discuss" it. But it was a foregone conclusion.

Shortly afterwards, we were the owners of a 2007 model year Ural Tourist. Brand new, and ancient at the same time.