After the WWE Network opening, it’s straight to the ring for the first match.

Vince McMahon and Dick somebody are commentating.

WWWF Heavyweight Championship Match: Bob Backlund (c) (w/ Arnold Skaaland) vs. “The Golden Greek” Spiros Arion. It’s been a little over a month since Backlund won the title from Superstar Graham. Vince is positively gushing over his new champion. Arion declines to shake hands. Backlund wins the lock up, then they trade waist locks. Arion uses the ropes to escape danger. Backlund keeps going back to his vice-like waist lock. He gets a near fall off a backslide. Arion resorts to a choke hold to get the advantage, then slams the champion and hammers him with punches. Backlund gets an inside cradle for 2. Arion takes a powder. They do a test of strength. Arion throws a kick, but Backlund catches it and drops him. Arion gets the advantage briefly, until Backlund scores a sunset flip for a near fall. Backlund catches another kick and goes to work on the leg. The crowd responds very well to leg work. Stuff meant something back now, kids. Back on their feet, Arion exposes a turnbuckle and sends the champion’s head into it. For some reason, the referee is completely fine with this. Arion kicks Backlund in the balls and Backlund sells it appropriately. Backlund takes a spill outside and barely beats the count in. Arion finally has the initiative. Backlund escapes a backbreaker and horribly botches a backslide. The champ makes his comeback and hits a piledriver for 2. Backlund sort of bulldog-rams Arion’s head into the turnbuckle, then hits the atomic drop. The ref gets knocked out by Arion’s foot in the process, and is unable to make the count. Backlund goes to check on the ref, giving Arion an opening to jump him from behind. They brawl. Chief Jay Strongbow, Peter Maivia, Stan Stasiak, and another wrestler come out to break up the fight. Another referee comes in and calls for the bell. It’s a double DQ in 17:48. The time is announced at 16:28. This timekeeper was the shits. The match was kind of entertaining. **1/2

We’re back now after intermission.

Ken Patera vs. Bruno Sammartino. Patera jumps Sammartino before the bell. Sammartino rallies and Patera bails. Back inside, Patera misses a knee drop and Sammartino goes after the injured body part like a shark. Patera comes back and misses an elbow drop. Sammartino arm drags him, and Patera bails again. More desultory strong guy punch-kick. Sammartino works a head lock. I’m bored. Patera applies a bear hug. Bruno won’t give up, but I’m tempted to. Unfortunately, the keep fighting. This is my life. These are my choices. They brawl outside. They brawl inside. They brawl outside. Somebody throws a chair. The bell rings. They keep brawling. It’s a double count-out in 14:35 of my life I’ll never get back. They announce the time at 16 something. Could have been 14 minutes, 16 minutes, or 3 days. *

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Haystacks Calhoun. Calhoun is a very large man from Morgan’s Corner, Arkansas, so he’s a man after my own heart. The youngest Nikolai Volkoff I’ve ever seen gets the jump on the larger man. They fight a bit. Calhoun squashes Volkoff in the corner. Haystacks falls on Volkoff for the pin in 2:39. DUD. They actually get the time correct.

And that’s the end. Wow. This was a good use of my time.

If anyone actually reads this and thinks I should keep reviewing stuff, leave a comment or tweet me @TheRealChui.

Howard Finkel, sporting a powder blue suit and a full head of hair, is the ring announcer.

Jan Nelson vs. Jose Gonzalez. I assume this is the same Jose Gonzalez who would murder Bruiser Brody in a dirty bathroom 11 years later. He’s a big babyface here in New York. An “Old School Flashback” in the bottom right corner informs me that Kanye West was born this month, June 1977. That’s unfortunate for the world. But I digress. Gonzalez is the more experienced grappler, while Vince touts Nelson as a future star. I don’t know that Nelson ever lived up to that. Gonzalez makes the heel Nelson look foolish, and you can hear Nelson Muntz guffaw in the crowd more than a decade before The Simpsons debuted. Lots of good ol’ fashioned arm work in this match. as Nelson works an arm lock for several minutes. Gonzalez fights back with some arm wrangling of his own. Nelson quickly cuts him off and then beats him up. Gonzalez avoids a charge in the corner and makes his comeback. Gonzalez hits four dropkicks and scores the pin in 9:46. *3/4

Rocky Tomayo vs. Larry Zbyszko. Holy crap, Larry is young here. I’ve never heard of Rocky Tomayo. More basic, old fashined grappling. They actually do a bit of chain wrestling, which always makes me giddy. This is actually kind of fun. Larry is a fiery young babyface here, very quick to take Tomayo down and grab a hold. Of course, this is Larry Zbyszko, so there is some stalling. Tomayo endures a lot of trauma to his hamstrings. Larry catches Tomayo with an inside cradle for the pin in 7:30. Man, this referee counts slow. **1/4

Tony Garea vs. George “The Animal” Steele. Fiery young babyface Garea is ready to fight, which befuddles the Animal. Steele stalls a bit, then gets the advantage on Garea by wrestling heelishly. Garea makes a fiery comeback. The referee DQ’s Steele in 7:22 for hitting Garea with a foreign object. Steele continues to lay the beating on. Garea rallies and runs the big man off. **

2/3 Falls: Ken Patera & Nikolai Volkoff (w/ Captain Lou Albano) vs. Andre the Giant & Chief Jay Strongbow. The babyfaces run Albano off during the introductions. This seems to be a grudge match. Patera stalls a long time before getting in the ring to start the match. Vince calls Strongbow a “fired up redskin.” The ’70s were a different time. Strongbow gets Patera in his own hold, the full nelson. Patera escapes. Andre tags in and puts Patera in the full nelson. Patera manages to make the ropes. Volkoff tags in. The heels try to cut off Andre in their corner, but Andre is a giant, so he’s like “fuck that.” Strongbow comes in. Volkoff puts a hurting on him briefly. Andre tags in and bear hugs Volkoff. Volkoff gets free, but Andre punches him the face. Strongbow tags back in and gets caught on the wrong side of town. Andre gets a hot tag at point, but the referee didn’t see it. Heels continue getting the heat on Strongbow. Andre finally gets the tag and runs… well, he doesn’t really run wild, but he wrecks shit like a destructive giant briefly. Clusterfuck breaks out, largely involving Strongbow running into Andre, causing him to shoulder block both heels in the corner. Andre goes for a big splash on Patera, but Patera avoids certain death and makes the tag. Strongbow comes in with a big babyface flurry and locks Volkoff in a sleeper hold. Patera saves, but gets his man DQ’d in 13:46. My stream turns shitty, which is just lovely. After I get it straightened out, Volkoff and Patera get into it at ringside. Presumably, Volkoff is pissed that Patera cost them the fall. Insta-commercials. Strongbow and Volkoff start the second fall. Andre hold Volkoff for Strongbow to hit him, which is illegal. The heels are still not getting along. Patera shoves Volkoff. Volkoff takes a swing at him. Volkoff goes to leave the ring, but Patera clubber his back from behind. Patera leaves. Andre gives Volkoff a big boot and a splash for the pin in a little over two minutes. Finkel gives the total time as 16:25. Fun match. **3/4

Lenny Hurst vs. Stan “The Man” Stasiak. This is Hurst’s MSG debut. I wonder if he ever made it back. Stasiak is a former WWWF Champion, and the father of a guy who would someday run into shit in backstage segments. Stasiak is from Buzzard Creek, Oregon, which is a great name for a wrestling hometown. Vince touts the 225 lb Hurst as the lightest wrestler in the WWWF. I’ll bet he wishes that were still the case today. Anyway, Stasiak is the ornery old heel, Hurst is the fiery young babyface, and they work the match accordingly. Hurst delivers a dropkick that sends Stasiak to the apron. Stasiak comes back in and puts a beating on the young man. Hursts makes his comeback, then eats a boot to the face. Stasiak lands the heart punch for the pin in 7:55. **

Vince interviews WWWF Champion “Superstar” Billy Graham (w/ The Grand Wizard) in the ring prior to his match. I’m almost certain I’ve seen this interview before. “I am the man of the hour, the man with the power, the man too sweet to be sour.”

WWWF Heavyweight Championship Match: “Superstar” Billy Graham (c) (w/ The Grand Wizard) vs. Bruno Sammartino (w/ Arnold Skaaland). Bruno has a mustache and a Jew fro here. I think this is 2 months after Graham took the title from Bruno in Baltimore. Graham taunts Bruno with the belt, and by god, Bruno wants that belt back. The beauty of this is that Graham cheated Bruno out of his belt, so Bruno is PISSED OFF and wants it back. He does not laugh it off and talk about how championships come and go. Bruno attacks Graham to jumpstart the match and MSG comes UNGLUED. Graham manages to subdue Bruno with a full nelson. Vince notes that this hold is attacking Bruno’s neck, which was broken not all that long ago by Stan Hansen. Bruno reverses it and almost puts the champ down with it. Graham manages to avoid having his arm drop the third time and gets to his feet, but Bruno keeps the hold. Graham finally manages to get free and takes a powder. Graham comes back and manages to get the advantage, putting pressure on Bruno’s back and arms. Bruno again reverses Graham’s hold and puts the pressure on him. Graham manages to get some momentum going and puts the boots to Bruno. They work a bear hug for a bit. Bruno takes a spill to the outside, and Graham tries to keep him there. Bruno gets back in and goes on the attack. Graham begs off to no avail. Graham rallies, but knocks down the referee in the process. The guys brawl and the referee tries to break it up, only to get taken down repeatedly. The ref finally calls for the bell in 18:15. It’s a double DQ. Fun strong guy match. **3/4

Baron Von Raschke (w/ Freddie Blassie) vs. Ivan Putski. Putski’s beer belly is a little bit less prominent here than on the last show I saw. Raschke is announced as the “European Heavyweight Champion” 20 years before the WWF actually created a European Championship. These two went to a 20 minute draw previously, so now we’ve got a 30 minute time limit. Oh dear. Blassie is taken to the back before the match starts, for some reason. Raschke has a gimmick in his hand. Putski informs the referee of such. Raschke successfully conceals it on his person. They finally lock up after a lot of stalling. They also work the lockup for a long time. This is going to be a long one. Raschke with some desultory leg work. Putski with a rear chin lock, then transitions into some kind of wonky head scissors hold. Putski finally wakes up and shows some babyface fire. They go back and forth a bit. It goes to a 30 minute time limit draw in 19:13. I don’t care if they lied about the time, I missed some editing, or what. I don’t need to see these two wrestle for another minute ever. Putski, that son of a bitch, calls for one more minute. They brawl a bit. Raschke takes a powder. Long and boring. *3/4

Baron Mikel Scicluna vs. “High Chief” Peter Maivia. Maivia is making his MSG debut. His now-five year old grandson would later go on to some success in pro wrestling and Hollywood. Scicluna gets the jump on him. Maivia quickly rallies and kicks some ass. Scicluna tries to use an object, but fails. Maivia avoids Scicluna in the corner and pins him with a prawn hold in 1:08. It’s announced at 2:09, which is a lie. DUD

2/3 Falls: Dominic Denucci & Haystacks Calhoun vs. Mr. Fuji & Professor Toru Tanaka. Calhoun’s kayfabe hometown is Morgan’s Corner, Arkansas, which endears him to me. I know of all of these guys, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of them wrestle. Denucci and Tanaka brawl. Denucci applies a full nelson and allows Calhoun to hit a lackadaisical punch. Tanaka beats on Denucci a bit. Denucci fires back with Mongolian chops. Fuji tags in and hits a “Kamikazi Necktie” (think Sling Blade) for the pin in 3:06. Denucci makes a comeback as the second fall starts. Tanaka and Fuji double team Denucci in the corner. Calhoun comes in to help out, but only distracts the referee. We’ve got a curfew draw in 1:00 of the second fall! Calhoun comes in to beat the heels up for a bit, having never actually tagged in to the match. Fuji & Tanaka win the match, having won the only fall in a 2/3 falls match. 3/4*

And there’s another 1970s WWWF show from the Network. There’s one more show from the 70s, then we’ll move into the 80s.

Straight to the ring introductions for our first match. A young Vince McMahon is the play-by-play man. I have know idea who the ring announcer is, but he does the old school “repeat the guy’s last name” thing that Ken Anderson would turn into a gimmick 30 years later.

Paul “Butcher” Vachon vs. “Indian” Jay Strongbow. Yes, “Indian” Jay Strongbow. The ’70s were a different time. Neither of these guys are what you’d call “in shape” by modern standards, but Strongbow is actively flabby. The match is slow, plodding, and exactly what you’d expect from 1970s WWWF. Vachon spends an impressive amount of time working a hold on the neck muscles. Strongbow comes back and slams him around. Vachon heels on Strongbow some more. Vachon bites Strongbow, which is about as heelish as you can get. Vachon gets a near fall, but pulls Strongbow up at 2. He is immediately shown to have been a fool, as he shoots Strongbow into the ropes, but Strongbow catches him with a Thesz press for the pin in 6:26. **

Texas Style Match for the WWWF Heavyweight Championship: Bruno Sammartino (c) (w/ Arnold Skaaland) vs. Spiros Arion (w/ Freddie Blassie). Main event time! You see, back now, the WWWF always puts the champion on before intermission at MSG, so they can announce the main event for the next card prior to the last match. This is announced as a “Texas Style Match,” which I assume means it’s a Texas Death Match. Despite that stipulation, the referee still checks the wrestlers for weapons. Arion takes advantage of the situation by jumping Bruno before the bell, but Bruno immediately rallies and kicks his ass. Arion cuts him off and gets the heat briefly. The style here is pretty realistic, as they largely just kick the shit out of each other. The momentum swings back and forth. Maybe I’m imagining this, but there seems to be a lot of emphasis on liver/kidney attacks and blows to the lower back, which I enjoy a lot. Bruno makes a big comeback with hip tosses and body slams. Arion cuts him off, but Bruno comes back again with another body slam for the pinfall in 11:52. Arion’s foot was in the bottom rope, but the referee didn’t see it. I assume that will lead to a rematch. I also don’t know what was “Texas” about this match. The match time is announced as 14:52. Either they’re lying, or exactly 3 minutes was cut out of this. **1/2

Killer Kowalski (w/ The Grand Wizard) vs. Victor Rivera. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kowalski wrestle. He’s very lanky. The original tape here skips and goes wonky at a couple of points early. Kowalski works the knee. He’s a rather vicious fellow. Rivera attacks Kowalski’s shoulder when the match is going in his favor. At one point, Rivera gets Kowalski tied up in the ropes and beats him up a bit. Kowalski breaks free and bites Rivera. They brawl a bit. Then they bite each other. Kowalski bites Rivera again, and the ref calls for the DQ (13:04 shown). So you’re allowed three bites until you get DQ’d? Rivera is announced as the winner in 15:50-something. *3/4

The Wolfman vs. Ivan Putski. I have no idea who the Wolfman is. Vince refers to Putski as a “one man gang.” He also states that this is Putski’s wrestling debut. I cannot confirm for deny. Putski is 275 lbs., and most of that is his beer gut. I miss fat wrestlers. Putski grabs a headlock and hammers Wolfman in the head. Repeat. Putski with a shoulder block. Wolfman cuts him and wins on him briefly. Putski fights back with punches and headbutts. Wolfman with bites and claws. Putski retaliates in kind. They beat on each other some more. Putski gets the bear hug for the win in 5:51. Fun little mean guy match. ** Wolfman tries to attack Putski after the match, but gets punched in the face. The match time is announced at 6:45. Again, I didn’t notice any editing. Putski drinks beer in the ring 20 years ahead of Steve Austin.

This was interesting. Obviously, modern WWE is very different from 1975 WWWF, but fundamentally, they are very much alike. The psychology of the Bruno match was much like a John Cena match today, and as I mentioned before, the show closed with a beer drinking, working man-type babyface.