Monday, October 30, 2006

What I Learned at the Wedding

The Greek Orthodox wedding ceremony is pretty to watch. I especially like the crowns, and the bit where they all go round and round and round the little table like this:

My tarantella remains as sprightly as ever.

A gentleman who can jitterbug is always in demand. (My Aunt Fran can really swing it, by the way.)

My Great Aunt Vera hasn't aged since 1950. The older I get, the more unfair this seems. I'm not even going to show you her picture because it's simply infuriating.

I will never grow tired of watching my parents on the dance floor.

Despite the big influx of new Greek relations, I'm still the only homo in the group. Or at least the only one who goes to weddings. Or at least the only one who isn't "discreet" (read "married and closeted").

My relatives are loud and raucous. They smoke too much. They drink too much. They eat too much. They bicker and nag and yell and scream and hold grudges. They tell extremely bad jokes. They watch NASCAR–on purpose. And they love me. And I love them. In this lifetime, I've had the incredible good fortune to be born into a group of people who haven't always understood me, but they've never stopped loving me. So many people are born, live, and die without this.

I don't know why it has taken me so long to realize and appreciate it.

All her life my beloved Aunt Eva used to say that no matter what, "you do for la famiglia." But she never specified what you "do." Now I think I understand: you do whatever you can, because that's simply how it is with people you love. Even when they frequently drive you batshit.

63 comments:

Franklin.I'd jitterbug with you anytime. And your aunt is right. Its all about family. when the world sucks and it all seems dark and yucky, family is there. Weird, wacky petty and picky yes. But always there. Ok I've waxed Hallmark again.Glad you had a great time! BTW what did Delores wear?

Most excellent! You are quite fortunate and I'm very happy for you. My relations with my family of origin are strained right now and it's like a knife in my heart. I like to see the happy familys and I like it even better when they are appreciated!

Sniff. I always loved to watch my parents dancing at weddings too. Mom is gone over five years now, but some of my best memories are of her and Dad doing the polka at big obnoxious Polish family weddings. Thanks for the smile.

Your family is wonderful - believe me you ARE lucky - I married into the family from hell - which was balanced out by my small family for awhile but they are all gone now. How can people enjoy being so hateful - I will never understand.

But I take offense at the one comment -- I watch NASCAR on purpose too :D

Franklin-I come from a sicilian, greek and armenian family.(yes, we eat, yes, we talk-loudly! yes I can dance to a band that has a mandolin frontman.) I have been reading your blog for a while now. This post makes me like you even more. Shared experiences, knitted, familial or otherwise makes one feel like you have friends all over the country. That small-town-i-could-knock-on any-door-and-use-the-phone-in-an-emergency feeling.

I consider myself fortunate to have been invited to my stepson's wedding a couple of years ago. His lovely bride's family are Russian Orthodox and the wedding ceremony was simply charming, traditional and magical.

Thanks for sharing the wedding and your family with us. I have a similar family situation but my spouse's family does not understand the "for family" concept. Their loss. Great to see other families filled with "sweet and salty" (and a few nuts to boot!).

What incredible fun. My family is so much like that. Over the years we have managed to embarrass and appall many of my siblings in-laws and now the nieces and nephews are getting married and we can do it to even more new relatives!!! Actually, it isn't really embarrassing or appalling . . . it is more that we are loud, laugh (a lot), thoroughly enjoy each others' company and don't really care who knows it!

The pictures are grand. You are so blessed to still have your parents.

It's exactly the reason why I hauled my happy chubby ass up a very tall ladder to paint the ceiling in my grandmother's kitchen four days before Thanksgiving, and during the week I was finishing up mid-terms (several years ago).

Very lovely pictures, thanks for sharing with us! I love the one of you dancing with your aunt. Absolutely, family should be there for each other. I have a college-aged nephew who came out a couple of years ago and there are some in the family who still have a hard time with it. You are so blessed with your wonderful family!

And I don't think it is uncommon for the family not to understand each other. I know my family doesn't understand me and I certainly don't understand a lot of what they do. That is why we HAVE to love each other unconditionally. ;-)

Franklin, you look so handsome on the dance floor! If you weren't an "indiscreet" homo, I'd be licking your ear (nicely, of course). This is such a lovely post and the photo of the bride and groom circling the table is fabulous. What a beautiful church.

My good friend Dave always gets really pissed off when his two homo cousins sit out family functions, too. Apparently a show of force is needed....

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