I'm warning you now, if you comment on this post before reading the WHOLE thing, you WILL look like an ass. Just sayin'.

People have so many compelling arguments for male circumcision, that I can't help but wonder why girls can't enjoy the same benefits! I'm not talking about sewing up the vagina or removing the clitoris or anything, but a little snip-snip could surely tidy things up!

If removing the foreskin of a boy helps keep his penis cleaner, then taking out the inner labia and clitoral hood could really do the same for girls! Girls have so much more to wash than boys do anyway, and we get way more infections. If less skin on a boy equals less infections, then it must work for girls too! Those little bits of skin don't have much feeling anyway. It would make diaper changes and baths so much easier. So much less space to get all gooey and dirty, now and for the rest of her life.

People see all that extra skin on a boy's penis, and say it looks gross. Well why don't girls get to have their extra skin tidied up?! Surely it would look much better, and I bet her future husband would appreciate how much nicer looking and cleaner it would be too. They could both enjoy oral sex without all the gunk that gets caught in the folds! Girls can get pretty smelly down there too, so why not help out with that?

A lot of parents worry about their sons looking different in the locker rooms, or different from their fathers. What if my daughter's labia is different than her friends or mine? That would be traumatizing to a girl too, I don't want her to be freaked out and made fun of! If we get all women and girls circumcised, then we can all look the same and not worry about it anymore.

AIDS and cancer are so prevalent these days, we really need to protect our kids in every way that we can. Removing extra skin on a boy helps these things, so why not try the same for girls! Why would it work for one and not the other? It would be SO worth it. You can't get cancer on a part of the body you don't have!

My husband was with a woman once who had long inner labia, and he said it was SO gross looking and smelling, and she got infections all the time. I would hate for my daughters to grow up and experience that embarrassment. I would be doing them SUCH a favor by doing it now when they can't feel it, rather than them having all this trouble later in life and having to get trimmed! My girls would really hate me if the knew I could have prevented such a thing, and didn't take the chance. I know my girls would really thank me for making their lives so much easier, and giving them a nice clean look down there too.

There are so many benefits for circumcision, why shouldn't it be the same for girls too? Why are they left out? Boys and girls should be equal. I am the parent, and if I think it would be good for my child, I should have the right to do it! People might judge me, but so what? If I'm doing what is best for my kids, then other people can just screw off!

Why didn't anyone think of this before?! I am a mutha effin GENIUS!!!

NOT.

You didn't think I was that big of a dunce did you?

Seriously now, NONE of the above reasons would be good enough for a parent to allow a knife to be taken to their daughter's genitals in ANY way. Why are these same excuses allowed to pass as justification of male circumcision? As far as we have supposedly come in this society, why is this sexism and mutilation still tolerated? Why aren't more women going all mama bear on people's asses for this?! Why aren't more men standing up and demanding the rights and protection they and their sons deserve?! The public would be in an absolute uproar if a parent wanted to so much as put a paper cut in their daughter's pants! Why do baby boys have less rights? Why are they considered to be lesser beings? There should be NO gender specification on genital mutilation. Either it is wrong for ALL people, or it is okay for all people (and God help us if you agree with the latter). If a girl grows up and wants to have her genitals cosmetically altered, it can be her choice then, in adulthood, when she can make an informed decision for herself. A parent shouldn't have the right to make that choice for her, something that can't be undone, and the same should be true for boys.

You can say the penis is "dirty". I say if that is true, then the vulva is far more so, but we don't go cutting those up. Shall we remove the anus too? That sure is dirty!

You say the foreskin may become diseased or infected, so it should be removed. Let's apply this "logic" to other parts of the body. Shall we remove all girl's breasts because they MIGHT have a problem? Shall we pull all teeth because they might get cavities? Our skin can get cancer, better do away with that! Oh, and heart disease, take that thing right out! Dang ears and all those infections, just get rid of them. ANY part of the human body can have a problem, but we don't go removing them when they are perfectly fine. IF a problem arises, we treat it then, and we treat it reasonably. Amputation is a last resort when all else has failed. If we removed at birth every part of the body that might have an issue at some point in one's life, we would have no baby left.

You say an intact penis is ugly. I say you're a pervert for looking at your perfect little son that way, and having such a strong reaction that you'd want to hack him up just to please yourself. And once again, if a parent found their girl's genitals so ugly that they wanted to have them cut, they'd be thrown in prison, so it shouldn't be okay for a parent to do to their son.

You say it might prevent STDs. I say that is what condoms and responsible sex are for, and we wouldn't cut girls to reduce their risk. We'd tell them to be smart about choosing partners and protection. Boys are just as capable of those things.

You may have a ton of other reasons for cutting a boy, but none of them would hold water if the child in question were a girl, so that would either make you a raging sexist, or a moron. Perhaps both.

If you've just never THOUGHT about circumcision, I encourage you to. Many people are still uneducated about the realities of male genital mutilation masquerading as a "simple and beneficial medical procedure". I ask you to open your mind to learning and considering that what you may think you know now could be mythical. More and more parents are becoming educated, and circumcision rates have plummeted to 50% nationwide (USA), and they continue to drop! You can find out what they know that you may not. Learn before you decide. You son will THANK you someday.

As for female circumcision vs. male, YES they are comparable. Some forms are extreme, but they were not discussed here. Other forms are equal or even less severe than male circumcision. Regardless of severity, they are ALL wrong, female AND male. No need to even specify a gender. Genital mutilation is genital mutilation.

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Anonymous
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I totally agree with everything you have stated. Although when i had my son i was very naive, and i am ashamed to admit i had my son circed. If i could turn back time i would NEVER have it done. Now that i know more information i make sure to pass it on to all my friends who are having sons and are even thinking about having it done. Here in the midwest the statistics are 83% of boys are circed in the hospitals, which is really sad. I for one really felt pressured about it. And i hope things change here.PS i sent this link to this blog to our pediatrician.

I wonder if there are men out there who resent their parents for getting them circumcized.

On another note, risk of infection is no longer a reason for circumcision as that is dated information. Any circumicision performed these days is purely cosmetic and nothing more, nothing less. Just wash your parts and you'll be OK. :P

The scary thing is that these reasons are used in various places around the world to support female circumcision.

I often worry about the parents who are hellbent on tearing apart their son's penis. I bet if they applied their broken logic to their daughter, they would go after their daughter's genital, too.

Fortunately, that is probably a minority. For the rest of the population online that freaks out when people speak against male mutilation, I have YET to hear ONE of them say they will treat their girls equally and circumcise the girls.

Thank you so much for posting on this topic the way that you do - it is thought provoking, honest, humorous and very sincere. My husband and I are expecting our first child, a little boy due in June, and I am pretty adamant about not getting him circumcised. DH is starting to realize there is no reason to do it after he read the book "Birthing From Within." We still have some time for DH to start agreeing with me, lol, but if he doesn't agree we shouldn't do it the next time we talk, I am going to make him read your articles on it then hit him over the head with my old womens' studies textbooks until he gets it : )

What a great angle to the topic. Circumcision is so barbaric, it amazes me that it is still legal. It also amazes that men, who are typically obsessed with size, would REDUCE the size of their son! My 3 boys are intact and very happy that we left their bits alone!

This is PRECISELY how I feel about it. I made the choice for my son to let him make the choice for himself, even though my husband was not totally on board (he's since come around and is as vigorous a defender of genital integrity as I am.) Thanks for saying it more concisely than I've been able to!

You know what's interesting? I actually DON'T have a clitoral hood or much labia minora (it's almost totally absent). I don't get any fewer infections or smell less (soap is still my friend XD)... but those reasons actually ARE given for FGC for women who choose it (yes, women choose it, just like some people choose to get their tongue split or their hood or glans pierced).

However, my ex-girlfriend had a ton of labia minora and she actually did think something was wrong with her. She felt it made her look like "a slut" (she was a virgin, btw). It was strange to me, seeing all that extra skin (as compared to me) but I didn't care.

My husband has even commented that he's glad I'm not like that, but he'd NEVER suggest I get it cut off if I HAD been born differently, nor would he have enjoyed sex with me less.

The whole male circ argument is flawed. No one is supposed to touch your privates without your permission--certainly not with a knife! Or a stupid piece of plastic that chokes the life out of part of it. How can anyone think that it's okay to cut up an infant?

Have you seen how popular "labia reduction surgery" is these days? More and more women are getting things "tidied up" because apparently things get saggier as you get older (gasp). So we might as well do it at birth right?!

"You know what's interesting? I actually DON'T have a clitoral hood or much labia minora (it's almost totally absent). I don't get any fewer infections or smell less (soap is still my friend XD"

There's someone just like me???? I thought *I* was the freak and was even wondering if my parents had secretly had me circ'ed as a baby. I am so happy to read that someone else looks the same. Is that weird?

I have trouble still deciding what to do for my future sons. I have seen many videos and read lots on the subject so I feel fairly well informed. My issue is that since I don't have a penis, I have nothing to go on personal experience wise. But, the two men in my life both say that circ'd would be better. My father, who is uncut, hates it and his parents for not having it done. My husband is circ'd and says he thanks his parents every day for it. For now I will continue reading and researching... questioning... hoping this all pans out well before I'm expecting

Stephanie said, "I wonder if there are men out there who resent their parents for getting them circumcized."

Yes, there are men who resent their parents for allowing them to be circumcised at birth. Some men go so far as to hate their parents. Then there are all the men restoring their foreskin to undo the damage from circumcision.

I do not hate or resent my parents. They did the best the knew how and they trusted their doctor. I would like to think they would do it different if they had lived in the Internet age.

Rhiannon - bottom line, its your sons penis, not your fathers and not your husbands. if your son doesn't like it when he is 18, he can chose to get circumcised. If your father hates it so much why doesn't he just go and have it done now? I did it to all three of my boys b/c I was so misinformed. Now that I know the truth I tear up just about every time I looked at them, so sorry for what I had done to their perfect little bodies. Don't make the same mistake, not only are they scared, but so am I.

Well its not like its a law to cut the forskin on our babyboys. Its optional. Its the parents who make the final choice to have it done. So if the parent is deciding, then why is there such a huge deal about it.

As someone who has dealt with breast cancer on a personal level, I find your comparison of circumcision to removing a woman's breasts to be offensive. A woman uses her breasts to feed her children. Yes, a man's foreskin is not purposeless, but I think most people would argue it's not as important as a woman's breast (or teeth, for that matter).

It's incredible to me that people justify doing this to their babies by saying, "if you wait to let them decide, they won't want to do it because they're afraid of the pain, so it never gets done." I actually read this on the BabyCenter website.

People. If you don't expect that your son will choose to do it when given the choice to do it WITH ANESTHESIA, then why are you having him strapped down to have it cut off WITH LITTLE OR NO ANESTHESIA?? If he doesn't find that there's anything going on worth mutilating his body and risking the complications over, WTF are parents doing having him whisked away and strapped down to do it? And how on earth can they possibly believe that it hurts him more when he's older? I think that, if they're not going to outlaw it, then the current law should become, "Sure, you can have your son circumcised...as long as each consenting parent has a nipple sliced off at the same time, and hold the anesthesia."

As someone who has dealt with breast cancer on a personal level, I find your comparison of circumcision to removing a woman's breasts to be offensive. A woman uses her breasts to feed her children. Yes, a man's foreskin is not purposeless, but I think most people would argue it's not as important as a woman's breast (or teeth, for that matter)."

No need to get offended. The comparison is pretty valid actually. On the one hand, with male circumcision, you're removing a functional part of a body (partly) for the purpose of reducing the risk of cancer. On the other hand, with a preventative mastectomy, you're removing a functional part of a body for the purpose of reducing the risk of cancer. The difference is, no one would ever remove a baby girl's breasts to prevent possible breast cancer later on. I think that the vast majority of people would agree that that should decision should be left to the girl when she's old enough to make such a decision. Why can we not grant boys the same body autonomy?

Oh! And BTW looking like other guys in the family is such a non-issue in ours that I completely forgot to mention: my oldest brother is intact. The younger one is circ'd. Neither one EVER CARED that they looked different from each other, and my oldest brother NEVER CARED that he looked different from our dad.

Our intact oldest brother has had, to date, an epic love life, by the way. Apparently the women that he's been in relationships with loved his penis, too!

Nobody would remove a baby girl's breasts to prevent cancer, because she might need them to feed her future children. Nobody would remove a baby's heart to prevent heart disease, because then the baby would die. For me it's about weighing risks and benefits. I don't think there is a clear, objective answer with respect to circumcision that applies to all families. I think it is up to each child's parents to decide how much weight each risk and benefit has. Some may decide that no benefit of circumcision outweighs their child's right to make the circ decision himself, but others may not come to that conclusion.

Anonymous @ February 22, 2010 9:44 PM:Not all women chose to have children and many chose not to breast feed if they do. Aside from the milk-making function of milk the appearance and “sexual” or “mate attracting” function of breasts can be matched by prosthetics. And it is a far easier surgery to remove the breast bud before puberty then it is to remove the breast after puberty. I would have to presume that some nipple sensation is lost after a mastectomy but it’s not anywhere near the number of nerves lost to circumcision. In fact removing the clitoral hood doesn’t remove as many nerves or as many different functional parts of the body.

Thank you SO much for writing this! It amazes me that so many people allow this to happne to their children; that parents willingly hand over their precious baby boys to be cut up..to have a part of their BODY removed- without even researching it! They are blinded by mainstream ways that are funded by selling foreskins for a huge PROFIT! Wake up, America! Your sons are being exploited! I am very grateful to have stood my ground, even when I was young and unsure of my choice b/c of all the pressure around me, and am proud to say I have 3 intact boys now! I hope to see some of you in DC next month protesting this horrible act..I know I'll be there..and so will my boys! :)

You know, I've heard that the clitoris has 8 million nerve endings, while the foreskin has 15 million. Yet, people always seem to think it's so much "worse" to circ girls for some reason. It is no different. Like you said, mutilation is mutilation. It makes me physically ill to think of how many babies are still subjected to this torture.

I didn't have my son circumcised because I didn't want him to be. His dad isn't either. If the male body wasn't suppose to have it, then they would have evolved to not be there. I told the doctors before I had my son that he isn't going to be circed, there isn't anything wrong with PROTECTING the head of the penis. If you teach your son how to properly care for the foreskin, then there shouldn't be any problems with it. Ask your pediatrician to show you how to wash it, that's what I did. Who cares if the other boys are circumcised, your son should be happy that he's the way God intended him to be.

Rhiannon said... I have trouble still deciding what to do for my future sons. I have seen many videos and read lots on the subject so I feel fairly well informed. My issue is that since I don't have a penis, I have nothing to go on personal experience wise. But, the two men in my life both say that circ'd would be better. My father, who is uncut, hates it and his parents for not having it done. My husband is circ'd and says he thanks his parents every day for it. For now I will continue reading and researching... questioning... hoping this all pans out well before I'm expecting

===

Wow, if you read this blog and _still_ have to say that, you entirely missed the point.

And if your mom or your aunt your sister wanted to circumcise your daughter, you would say??????

*shakes head in disbelief*

I pitty Americans (and to a lesser degree Canadians). I'm sure glad Australians learned to reject circumcision (except in very rare conditions) back in 1980!!! And of course there's Aussie men who are cut but rejected it for their sons.

There was an American living in Australia who posted a blog saying she went to a parenting class and wanted to discuss the circ after-care. The Aussies looked at her like she had TWO heads (pardon the pun!). It's not even CONSIDERED there! Like I said... I am fearful for America's boys.

Wow how very American of you to believe in a double standard mainly in the West. Women are circumcised especially in Asia and Africa still to this day. Not for medical reasons but cultural and religious reasons. But I'm willing your the type of person that preaches about maintaing cultural identity and protecting other beautiful cultures from capitalist Western influences. Except when it comes to circumcision right, because then its mutilation! Also did you ever ask a boy or even your husband what he would of thought about this topic, because as a young male in a locker room at school, or with a girl friend exploring each others body. The last thing we want to be is different let alone have folds of skin hanging off. Now if my junk was huge and the extra skin looked ok then no prob. But I'd be willing to bet that the average young male begs their parents to get him cut ASAP so as not to feel embarrassed and different anymore.

If you want to change this view of our penises then start with porn. Thats were young men and some girls get their idea of what a penis should look like.

Another amazing post! What a refreshing take on the topic! You give such an honest view with plenty of facts and tons of humor!

We chose not to circumcise our son and we're so glad! Even our doctor told us it is completely medically unnecessary (how's that to debunk the "cleaner" myth) and wouldn't choose circumcision for her own children.

Cultural preservation is no excuse for circumcision! To huff and puff that circ-ing is necessary to preserve your culture, that implies that your entire life is based on the foreskin/labia/clitoral hood and its subsequent removal. Not bloody likely.

America is the only western nation that circumcises baby boys as a matter of course. I blame the doctors for perpetuating such a barbaric and totally unnecessary procedure. Shame on the medical profession! In this respect, America is seen as a backward country by the rest of the western world. There is no proof that removal prevents cancer or STD's. Simple washing is all that's needed to keep it clean.

"I think it is up to each child's parents to decide how much weight each risk and benefit has. Some may decide that no benefit of circumcision outweighs their child's right to make the circ decision himself, but others may not come to that conclusion."

Why is it up to the parents. Why should my parents decided how important circumcision would be for me? It is my body after all. And the only one who can weigh the risks and benefits is the individual. So for me, that is me. For some other guy it's him. But unless there is some immediate medical need, it's not the parents.

"most people would argue it's not as important as a woman's breast (or teeth, for that matter)."Well I would argue that the foreskin IS SO important, I would rather lose a toe or even my teeth! However, why compare erogenous tissue with a totally different body part?

This cutting off of parts of the penis does certainly change the dynamics of the penis and does change sex (for both partners). Give him the opportunity to have natural sex, what we evolved to have.

This cutting off of parts of the penis does take away the persons CAPACITY for PLEASURE for life. A natural source of pleasure is what is removed. This surgery takes away main male pleasure zones with about 20000 fine touch and stretch nerve endings AMPUTATED.

I'm from Australia and it is still performed,but not many doctors will do it as most of them disagree with it.My Ex husbands family wanted our son to get it done but i stood my ground and it did not get done!He is now 5 nearly 6 and has not once had an infection,though my mate has 2 boys who were both circumcised at 6weeks ,they r now 6yrs and 4yrs,and they have had at least 3 infections ever yr minimum,so to pl who say it is to stop infections it doesn't . The care you take in making sure u clean ur child properly does!

"Rhiannon - bottom line, its your sons penis, not your fathers and not your husbands. if your son doesn't like it when he is 18, he can chose to get circumcised. If your father hates it so much why doesn't he just go and have it done now?" EXACTLY THIS.

Bottom line for me is that it isn't my body and the whole "I have to wieigh the risks and benefits and make the best decision for my son" argument is weak. There is no guarantee that circ-ing is going to prevent anything. I would rather err on the side of caution and not do something as permanent as hacking off a piece of my kid's body (yes, it can be kind of reversed, but it's a LOT easier to decide TO irc later in life than it is to go through restoration).

I just think to mess with a kid's GENITALS is the UTMOST FORM OF VIOLATION. SEXUAL VIOLATION of your child.

Quite a few defenders of male circumcision start out by saying "well female circumcision is worse." Point blank, without ever having to prove it. It's simply a given.

Dig a little deeper and they'll tell you "well, female circumcision elliminates any chances for orgasm." Again, proof? Where are they getting this?

They'll tell you that ALL FGM involves cutting off the labia and clitoris and sewing up the opening to leave a small hole for menstruation.

In reality, there are all kinds of FGM, the kind above, also known as "infibulation," comprising only about 15% of all FGM in the world. A very good article by the New York Times describes the kind of FGM that goes in Indonesia.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/20/magazine/20circumcision-t.html

But get THIS readers; this study shows that even the women who have undergone the WORST kind of FGM, IE infibulation, can still ORGASM.

http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/118496293/abstract

In other words, "circumcised women can't orgasm" is another myth invented solely for the purpose of belittling male circumcision, usually always INFANT circumcision.

Check out the following "study." It says FGM, nicely couched in the term "labiaplasty", INCREASES satisfaction for BOTH partners.

http://www.labiaplastysurgeon.com/labiaplasty-clinical-study.html

If women are getting circumcised because their labia are "embarrassingly long," doesn't it follow that they should have the "parental choice" to do this to their daughters?

You know? So that any potential boys the girl dates won't be grozzed out by chewed-up-bubblegum labia? And the girl will save herself embarrassment?

It's funny how the "it's sexier" argument only works for circumcising baby boys. Nevermind the pedophilic implications people seem completely oblivious to. "I'm circumcising my son because -I- think it's sexier. I want my son to look "sexy" to me, and so this justifies my having him circumcised..."

Imagine a man saying "I want my daughter's vulva to be sexy." He'd be condemned as a lecherous father. But it's OK for a mom to say "I want my son to have a pretty penis" a la Jenny McCarthy.

Awesomely put! I am so against male circ ~ I have 2 boys who are intact and the way GOD made them. It took some convincing but after my husband read the information he decided it wasn't so bad after all to remain intact. In fact, I think he is a little resentful that he never had a CHOICE.

@Anonymous: "But I'd be willing to bet that the average young male begs their parents to get him cut ASAP so as not to feel embarrassed and different anymore."

My intact son is 19. He absolutely has never begged me to get him cut ASAP! In fact, when he found out what circ was, and that it's performed on babies, he looked more horrified than I've ever seen him, and said, "WHY?? Why would they do that? It's the best part". This was a few years ago, and he still cringes every time the subject comes up. (And, while I don't know - or want to know - any details about his sex life, his girlfriend of over a year doesn't seem terribly repulsed, either.)

The first I read about circ was in the Bible, that was only to distinguish themselves from others to be of God as Jews. I am and never have been a Jew so I never cared that I am intact. Plus God care more that we are right in character then to have a piece of us cut off. I hardly participated in sports to compare in locker rooms, not did I care to look. If we only focus on the genital (looks) then we miss the most important part of a person, their character. Let me put it this way. If you care more of how some one looks then you deserve a partner that has an ugly character.

I am an Aussie Man that is intact. The first time I heard of circ was in the Bible. The reason there was to separate Jews from other men. I never was and never been a Jew so being intact was not an issue for me in terms of religion (plus God cared more about our hearts). I don't ever remember comparing my penis to other's. There are more important things to worry about than how someone looks. We are missing the person's character. Let me say this. If you care more about looks of some one's genitals then you deserve to have someone who has a messed up character. Enjoy the person for.who.they are, not what they look like.

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