Civil: Drug War

Well, despite the best intentions of the devoted potheads of Washington and Colorado, the federal government has decided they will bust people for smoking legal marijuana.

What the hipsters didn’t realize when they voted to legalize pot is that President Obama has been one of the most aggressive drug warriors to sit in the Oval Office. Despite his promises to the contrary, he has stepped up the closure of cannabis dispensaries across the nation.

Marijuana initiatives were half-baked, and so were their supporters. They were inspired by the organic food industry for fear that, without pot, a lot of people would realize vegetarian food tasted like crap. Meanwhile, the most dedicated smokers are still sitting on their couches in deep contemplation wondering how two votes can add up to nothing.

I’d like to think that many of the people who voted to nullify their own vote thought that their vote for President was more important than legalization, but I really don’t think that’s the case.I’m quite certain that legalization votes superseded their presidential votes. There is evidence that putting marijuana on the ballot was a DNC plan – a way to get Obama supporters to turn off Adult Swim and find their local polling place.

In an age when identity politics are more important than policies, their vote for President was an afterthought. They picked the guy from the Choom Gang over the distinguished gentleman drinking caffeine-free Coke. Kal Penn, Associate Director in the White House Office of Public Engagement, is best known as Kumar, whose White Castle munchie binge led to one of the most profitable stoner movie franchises in history.

So it looks like we’re about to see a states’ rights showdown. It is an incredibly exciting moment in history. For the first time since the invention of Google, “States Rights” is trending higher than “Indoor Growing.” Ironic, since it was the Red States who were originally chosen as “Most Likely to Secede”.

As Rahm Emanuel once said, never let a good crisis go to waste. I think it’s time for all of us on the Right to stop fighting over whose fault November 6th was and take advantage of the golden opportunity presenting itself more clearly than the unmistakable odor at a Phish concert.

Republicans on both sides of the “choice” debate acknowledge that Roe v. Wade was a bad decision, because it overruled states’ rights. We have always been the champions of those rights. While the Left has been quite successful at categorizing states’ rights as a secretly coded dog whistle term for racism, we find that ridiculous. Well, this is a great opportunity for us to show we’re neither racists nor hypocrites.

Paul Ryan got the ball rolling during the campaign. Had I been in charge, he would have been in every single state with marijuana on the ballot, urging proponents not to cancel out their vote by supporting an enemy of the 10th Amendment. But it’s not too late. This is going to get huge, and if we don’t get out in front of it, we’re going to have a lot of regrets come 2014. And what better opportunity could there be for the 2016 slate to make a name for themselves with a younger demographic?

Yes, there are many on our side who still think that marijuana is the gateway to liberalism. But that’s not the issue. The issue is that, if the state of Boeing and Microsoft has decided that airplanes and software should be assembled by workers who spent the weekend putting orange Cheetos fingerprints all over their Xbox controllers, that’s the state’s decision. And companies should be able to choose for themselves which state they would prefer doing business in (pending National Labor Relations Board approval, of course).

Meanwhile, it’s a grand opportunity to remind everyone that liberty and freedom are our core principles. While we’re busy trying to contain government expanding at a rate greater than the Big Bang, they’re the ones trying to outlaw cigarettes and Big Gulps.