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Friday, September 23, 2011

George is my mother and heavy mettle

Last night I woke up after a fitful few hours sleep, got up to check on my son’s bad dream and crawled back in bed to my usual awaiting partner:. George.

This doggone cat loves me and I hate cats. We got him 5 years ago when I found a snake in my kitchen because we thought it would ward off skinny slithery things with tongues. My children fell in love with him (so did I) and their petless selves suddenly had something furry to love. He wasn’t leaving. Now he doesn’t leave me. It’s ironic because I am known to hate pussy’s. Scared of them, bad dreams about them, run the other way when I see them kind of abhorrence. Miracles never cease, I now have 2 feline frolickers. But my husband said something last night that struck me. As I climbed back into bed he says:

'”That damn cat loves you. I think he is your mother.”

I lost my mother almost 15 years ago and life is so hard without her. Sure the day-to-day is easier and I have a lot wonderful things going on but I miss her to the core and life will never, ever be the same without her. I have tried to make it so for 15 years but I have not the mettle. But I do have George and a heartbreakingly loyal and supportive network of people she is certainly influencing to come my way. Like, Amy (who has the spirits in her) and yoga and God and my children and my faith and yes, my pussy George. Thank you Lord for my pussy and my mother:

Here, have a tree pose:

I am a dancer (pose):

I have heavy mettle.

I am a big person. I wondered recently if I should enter races in the Athena division to place better in my age group. I really am not that competitive. But I pondered the Athena category because it’s about accepting who you are – perhaps not built like a runner but I run nonetheless. I am not a pussy (I have one, feline). I have mettle. I have bootstrapped myself from a number of things as have all of us. At the end of the day I am most blessed because I have my mother to cuddle with every night – even if she is white and furry.