A look into the great chaos that is my life as a part-time professor, part-time chiropractor and full-time mommy! I may share my passions for health, food, the arts and learning in general or I may rant and rave, ask for help and in turn keep my sanity :)

Monday, May 30, 2011

Saturday we had N's choice of a day out- fried chicken (inspired by the Food Network's "Best Thing I Ever Ate- Fried Chicken Edition" followed by...... bowling. He has been wanting to do this for quite some time so we went to the tiny little bowling alley in our small town and were the only people there- it was perfect ;) I will not reveal my very embarrassing, haven't- bowled- in- many- many- years score.

Heading into the restaurant

Ready to take care of some business!

She was pretty excited by all the loud noises

It is a rare picture that catches all faces turned toward the camera :/

Friday, May 27, 2011

I love my children. Duh, right? I expected that I would love them like this and yet sometimes it is still overwhelming how much space their tiny little selves occupy in my heart. One thing that I was not ready for however, was how irrational they have made me in terms of worrying about things that are likely to never be. I was never like this.

I will find myself driving with my babies over a bridge and think, "if this car were to go over the edge, how would I get both of them out by myself??" That thought is then followed by a detailed escape plan in my head that is way too distracting to have while I am driving across the very deathtrap that I fear!
I mean really? Is it likely that my family and I will take a Thelma and Louise style plunge into the river?
No.
Is it totally irrational?
Yes.
But is this normal?
I'm not sure :)
I don't THINK that I am alone-- but maybe I have a little more crazy in me than the next.

The recent and horrific tornado that hit Joplin has me even more irrational than ever before- I absolutely cannot stop thinking about all those poor families that were affected by such fury. I have seen videos and pictures and now have run the escape/survive scenario in my head a thousand times since it hit. We had a terrible round of storms here two nights ago and I felt like I was crazy with worry!
Please don't misunderstand and think I am making light of the topic- the very opposite actually. I am only pointing out my possibly unnatural response to tragedy from afar. My head actually thought of the following scenario:
trapped in the basement alone with two kids with water everywhere and downed power lines and I had to get them both out without touching the water and I couldn't put them down and there was a gas leak and the dog suddenly turned rabid against us and and and....... TOTALLY IRRATIONAL! I MAY have embellished on the dog part- he is a pansy. Anyway, so unlikely but so so horrible.

Better safe than sorry I suppose but I wish my mind weren't so full of irrationality. It is exhausting, and between that and the space already spent on my children, there is not much room for other things- important things, like the routines I saw on So You Think You Can Dance ;)

It lands and the first step of my life is chosen for me, if only that were the case sometimes. I move the little car complete with a pink stick figure “me”.I have no arms.Interesting since I would tend to put arms in the important category. The game of life has put me in University where I will study long and hard until my next turn and emerge a doctor. Wait, am I a college student in a station wagon??2 spaces. A husband- was it an option to not marry?? That I do not recall. A handsome man in a striking shade of blue joins me in my car and we drive off into the sunset. Along the way we hit some setbacks and make some great advances in our careers. We win the lottery, our house is struck by lightning. What can you do? Just keep spinning...

1 space. 5 spaces. We pick up a few children and our station wagon is comfortably full. I don’t think the kids ever move out but we don’t seem to care. 2 spaces forward just to land on square that directs us 3 spaces back. Now I see how true to life is that simple span of cardboard. So competitive are all the players, wanting each of their lives to be smoother. Be better. Be… faster??

Don't some people call them locusts??
Whatever your preference, they are on my list-
I am sooooo over this cicada hatch!! I have always hated them- one of my earliest memories is standing on the deck at my grandma's house afraid to go down the stairs because a giant bug was standing there leering at me with its big beady orange eyes and hissing..... freaking scary if you are 4 (or 31, whatever).

We basically live on a cicada farm right now, they are all over my kids playhouse, the trees, the foundation and I can only assume crawling throughout the entire yard :(

A few weeks ago we noticed a bunch of tiny holes in the dirt around our trees and N thought it was pretty cool when I explained how the bugs live underground and come up and shed their shell- blah, blah blah. It was still cool when we started seeing the occasional shell stuck on a leaf.

Now- NOT COOL- go away scary bugs.

This morning we tried to walk to the babysitter's house and after rolling the stroller through several yards of bug carnage/dive bombing insects, we gave up. I know they are harmless, but there is something apocalyptic disheartening about a fat bug that screams at you when you walk by!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

I love a good party- this is no surprise to those of you who know me. Last weekend, my mother and I threw my cousin a baby shower. It is her first baby (a girl) and she is a wedding planner with great style so we knew we wanted it to be extra special. I decided against the usual themes and chose a "sugar and spice" theme of flowers, paisleys and swirls. We went for a color palette of mostly pinks and purple with just a bit of orange and lime green sprinkled in there. to keep "baby" in an otherwise adult party, I included diapers and vintage pink pacifiers wherever I could. I think my favorite part was the centerpieces made of single tier diaper cakes with a short vase in the center so that I could add flowers in the shower colors (I got very lucky at the florist that morning when their selection of cut flowers offered exactly what I wanted to put them together). We had a great time and she seemed to love it. Isn't she beautiful by the way?!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The silence was so defined, so loud that you could almost hear the whispering trail of smoke as it rose from the end of a single burning cigarette. It climbed slowly up and out, peppering the room with its subtle acridness as a low note began to reverberate from the piano. All eyes and a sharp-edged spotlight were focused on a tiny dark stage alive with intensity. She raised her smokey eyelids, placed a stiletto heeled foot on a bentwood chair, and began to sing. Rich tones reached deep into my very soul, warming but taunting me. It said this could be you. This stage and this audience, bent on every flick of her wrist and change of note, could be yours. The song tore a hole into my heart and freed precious memories of those past performances, those too few moments when I felt truly alive.

And then SHE kicked me, the feeling deep within. My unseen but already cherished little girl moved to cover the hole, to fill my void with a new purpose. I moved my hand across my swollen belly and bit back my tears and opened my smokey eyelids. My stilettos were firmly on the floor and my voice silent, the audience was not for me but still, I felt alive. HER voice, as silent as that whispering trail of cigarette smoke gave me new life.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I find myself (exhausted) at the end of another epic week.I guess technically, Sunday is the beginning of the week, but I just can't assign that role to any day but Monday (woooomp woooomp).
I am sitting here, trying to caffeinate myself enough to truly start the day but it is taking awhile- maybe an IV line would be better! Me and the crazies kiddos are with my parents this weekend and it has been a very full but very nice visit. Nothing says home like laying on the couch and letting your momma take care of you.... except maybe laying there letting her take care of your kids :)
My mom is AWESOME by the way.
A was just sitting in her highchair eating the breakfast that my mom made and then she was done/ready to get out. Sorry A I am not parenting today, you are on your own! Do you ever feel this way? How great would it be to just take a dayoff. I do appreciate that my kids are on a decent schedule but 6:30 every. single. day?? On the button, 6:30 is nursing time followed by getting up. I don't like 6:30. I prefer 9:30ish, even 10:30ish.... oh well. 6:30 came quick too, what with being punched in my face 80 times by a sleeping N. A's shrill morning call for boob was like an alarm clock- where is the damn off button?!?!

It doesn't settle down either. In the time taken to write this post, I have pulled A out of the tiny space between the fridge and the counter, forced N out of the pantry where he was trying to get a 9 am candy "snack", changed a diaper, and planned the rest of the day. Or at least my mom did while i was watching ;)

Happy Sunday all- enjoy the "end" of your week before the madness of a new one begins!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

today is my birthday. i LOVE birthdays- any holiday really but so far i am not a huge fan of today.

it has not been the greatest of days and honestly i don't see it getting too terribly better. my husband is out of town with the baseball gods again (can't wait till the season ends next week), we are in our "broke week" (the last few days before payday) and i am now IN my thirties, not thirty but thirty one.

i know age is just a number and in realtity i probably still look about 18 years old, at least that is what my college students, colleagues, and patients tell me, but i know things that they don't---- like what my skin looks like under my miracle mineral powder and in general, what i look like naked.

for some reason, i noticed just how bad breastfeeding has zapped my boobs- how have i missed this?!?! it crept in slowly and now my girls are sitting lowly (ha- my attempt at humor today). of course i would NEVER take it back and i am still nursing A and i am sure we have more future babies out there. when the next one comes, i am fairly sure i will be able to nurse them while in the front seat of the car- and he or she in the back...... a sad day for one who had "porn star" boobs according to my college girlfriends. oh those were the days ;) thirty was far away, i had a much narrower midsection, my boobs were much higher and i had plenty of time to take care of myself.

the one thing i did not have was facebook and that is about the only thing that is making today partly sunny. so thank you facebook friends for all the birthday wishes. my body is crap and my attitude worse, but at least i have lots of things posted on my wall! now back to work, it may be my birthday but it is still a regular day.

Monday, May 9, 2011

I still find it terribly interesting that my children are so different. Besides the obvious boy vs. girl stuff, they are polar opposites in almost every aspect (though A's emerging personality is suggesting that she may share her brother's funny gene), especially temperment. Upon waking from their respective naps, I snapped these shots....

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

So it wan't just a phase- I am STILL couponing-- I will pause here for your applause------------- :)

Okay, it is a lot of work and of course I am no pro, but I am actually learning things, like where to shop with my coupons that are for 45 cents or less because they get doubled and that you have to pay attention the entire time- to labels, to mismarked products, to the checkout process... oh yeah, and to your children.
Leave your kids at home. The reasons are obvious- you have to pay attention and you just can't if your toddler is repeatedly trying to stand up in the seat and babbling at you and your preschooler is squashing all your groceries in the basket and asking for extra purchases every two seconds. One other thing I have learned is that Walgreens is both an expensive store and uber-cheap store depending on what you are buying and when. Today, I had a bit of spare time and so I popped into Walgreens. I had $4 in store credit from last time I went (when I got my favorite shampoo for FREE after a rebate plus got store credit for its purchase... sweet, right?) and some great coupons that I was planning on using on top of advertised store sales. Long story short, between coupons and sales, I spent $31 and saved $28.... that is a good deal my friends- 60 dollars worth of groceries for 1/2 price :) love it.
Except here is where the crazy comes in- I noticed while looking at my receipt that the Baked Tostitos that were supposed to be on sale for 2.99 cost 3.99 instead- I would have gotten the non-baked variety had I known. PLUS the baked kind weren't included in the "buy tostitos and salsa and get free redbox rental" deal..... so I was actually mad that had the chips been properly labeled, I would have reached for a different bag and saved another 2 dollars..... I am crazy. I couldn't stop thinking about the damn two dollars! I have never couponed until now and would never have known- I wonder how much the evil stores have taken from me over the years??
I am only one quarter serious :)
Anyway, like I said, crazed. And of course I will be going back to Walgreens again (dirty thieves)- I earned more store credit today.....

About Me

I am a sometimes stay at home mom and sometime working woman. I have a small chiropractic practice out of my home, which brings all kinds of challenges and blessings. I also teach college Biology, Anatomy and Nutrition. I love love love all my jobs, but especially the hardest one- being a mommy. I have a crazy little monster who hijacked my perfect little boy and lights up my days and a wonderfully sweet and good natured tiny girl who has rooted herself in our hearts. My husband is the love of my life and the most patient person I have ever met! He's also sorta talented ;)