Monday, September 13, 2010

Assalamualaikum w.bt. Hanafiah, how’s life? Well, how did u cope up with unemployment? Sucks eh when most of your applications were turned down, haha, naaah, never mind dat, just make do with the chances that u get now, and hopefully my faithful, indecisive friend, may God be with you with very vital decision u had to do in life.

Salam kids, its been quite sumtime non? Haha, nevermind, ur dad’s kinda busy now, well…lets just say, that his mind is occupydo with er…important, serious thing, that had been a challenge to the post modernized mind of last century, which was about….nothing, haha, im just being sarcastic. Nevertheless, I am now a yakuza, who is on my important, secretive mission to save the world, the mankind….yeah…it’s a role playing videogame, nevertheless I do feel the urge to at least contribute in changing the world for a better place for us, for u small beloved guys to live in.

Its been quite sumtime eh since I keep u guys updated, well, what can I say, eventho I may not be busy, but…my mind are always occupied, and there are always things to think about, and the number of my grey hairline keeps increasing each day. Luckily ur grandma didn’t notice it, or else she wuldve made fun of me by asking me to use inai, mana boleh, tak macho la, kan? Haha, bru mcm Richard Gere (for u guys whu don’t know whu the heck is that fella, go and google it up)

Okay, where do we start eh guys….hmm..lets talk about my job as a grape farmer (grape farmer=penanam anggur=penganggur=someone who is jobless) well, this is definitely not the highlight of my life. Being a NEET (Not in Employment, Education, or Training) reaaaallly sucks, well at sum point when u get to wake up late and play games…but it still sucks, big one! Why? It’s because, first, every where I go people wud ask “Buat apa skang?” or “Kerja mana?” and I was like er…. Why the …. u ask? Well, its becos that most of the places that I applied for are not willing to take me in, becos we’re fresh graduate, but WTF (kids, don’t use this derog language esp when speaking with ur eslders eh) if im not effing working, where the effing place am I suppose to get my effing experience, rite? (again, please minus the ‘effing’ part and if u take such a language against me or ur mrs Hanafiah we’ll gonna give u guys big one, yeah a reeeeaaallly big slap on the effing face, whops I did it again, haha) so I was tossing back and forth on my job applications, I went for several interviews, my first interview was with Canadian Electrics that operates the flight simulator in Air Asia training school, but I didn’t get that, even the interviewer was kinda assuring like we’ll gonna get it, which I later learned that if the company didn’t call you, they just don’t give a fu…they just don’t care and your application is rejected, haha.

So, realizing I was in a distress situation, one of my closest, dearest friend, happened to came across this MSC website, no, its not miscellaneous website, not sum x-rated website either, it stands for Multimedia Super Corridor that was set up by the ministry in order to help such um…unfortunate graduate like us who might wanted to venture into Information Technology. The company will provide training for fresh graduates, and I registered into it. For the first time I got few calls from these ICT companies calling me to submit resume and came to their office for much better, much anticipated interview session. Some of the company had quite a reputation in this cutting edge technology field, thus being an engineering student I was unsure that I can live up to the company’s expectation, but I realize this, people are moving forward, and I cant expect myself to be left out behind. I will take this opportunity and do my best. I decided that I will further my study part time, yeah, like most of the people who had taken study part time to get the highly valuable scroll, it is not easy, well, nothing in this world that is valuable can be easily achieved, so please be grateful, and thankful whenever u manage to pull throughout the sharp obstacles.

Studying and working part time is aint easy. And I don’t know if I can do this, but if you guys ask me like one of the interviewers asked me with a slight grin on his face as if knowing that I would chickened out; and wondering whether I am up to the challenge or not, well, just consider you just found yourself a new, tremendous rival. I will do whatever it takes to improve my life, and I believe by pursuing master’s degree will not only get better pay, but I will also contribute to the socio-economy of my beloveds thus improving your guys’ lifestyle, haha, hopefully, InsyaAllah.

There was once this company that I went for interview, and the position I was applying for was a management trainee, but I learned a day before that as a management trainee u’re in charge of making sales, and selling the product of the company to people i.e. direct selling is seriously not my cup of tea. I got this information when I went for a local recruitment firm located in Jalan Ampang, in Wisma MCA. The recruiter asked me this…

“Can you tell me about your family?”

“I live with my mom, she’s retired …..”

“So, where did she used to work?”

“She was working in IMR Jalan Pahang….”

“Wait, what’s ur mother’s name?”

“Her name’s Rojmah…”

“I think I know your mom, my mom used to work there too…..”

So you guys get the idea, and then I found out that she’s daughter of Aunty Normah, whom my mother used to buy cookies from every year for raya. Why we buy em instead of producing it ourselves? Well, lets just say, ur grandma don’t bake cookies for raya, we only er…outsource the product supply service to other prospective bakers, which in our case was the very awaited, much anticipated, cookiessiderate Aunty Normah.

Jap, u guys wanna know what do I eat for raya every year? Hm…well when my mom was still around, she usually make two dishes, since she is Orang Negri, so we usually have rendang daging and ayam. In order to contribute towards the economy growth of the local citizens, we decided to live the lemang preparation to someone who is more specialized in lemang cooking field, haha. The second dish is rebusan, which my mum would buy some daging lembu with its tulang boil into soup, thus it is called rebusan.

The rebusan was definitely one of my favourites, because its easy and simple to make, so your mum can pretty much prepare it or if she’s too busy I can do it myself, and its also because this dish reminds us of my late grandfather, Allahyarham Haji Abd Kadir bin Yunus. Every year, on hari raya, he would eat it, before he eats any other meal, even during his last days. Its kinda funny to eat something delicious yet to feel nostalgic and sad about the taste of the food when the experience supposed to make you happy and joyful. Well, everyone will go thru that phase, and mine is now, during this festive season, for the rest of my life.

This year, is also like previous year, it was quite dull for me, and my mind is so occupied with various things, the same thing that had bothered me last syawal.

But this time I had became a jerk, yeah, I did, never tot I was capable of doing so, but, I guess I managed to pull it off, its not sumthing I’d say im proud off, but…I think, its important for u, my beloved kids, to know that the foundation of everlasting, continuous-loving doesn’t built on the foundation of love only, it requires more, and remember also this, that if u reaaaallly love someone, so endearingly that they always stuck on your mind 24-seven, or u like em so much that u felt jealous and envious whenever they talk about other people passionately eventho its silly becos the person they were referring to was some neighbor they’ve known since childhood, if u feel this, and due to certain unwanted circumstances (which I pray none of u will undergo this) u cant be with them, remember this; mencintai seseorang tidak semestinya bersama, when u truly love someone u reaaaallly wish for the best of that respective person, u really want them to achieve their ambitions, even it sucks to just look from far away, achieving all the wonderful glory without our presence, without being the back bone of such tremendous scheme, but if u can pull this most tricky, painstaking method instead of cursing, hating your ex counterpart, well then u, my beloved kids, had just graduated from being a child, and can now walk the same path, run the same pace, and sit equal to my height, no…u guys will be waaay better, InsyaAllah.

Don’t let your heart be filled with hatred, not that it will only lead you to the darkside (no, its not starwars…okay, maybe 20%) and make u astray from the righteous path (okay…30% starwars but im not going to mention any jedi tricks here, ok?) but the sad part thing if u take up such pathetic option is that u will not only lying not to anyone but your sorry self, but also closing your heart to someone else who deserve you much more, not to mention u will also instigate lots of negativity and u will end up alone, because your friends will be despised, even true friends, true gems that u had always had, but now u just lost em. Instead of holding onto true gems, u’re now stranded and surrounded by shiny but fragile glass and fake, weak plastics.

I have lots more things to say, but I’ll jot it some other time. I just feel like telling u this, that I was a selfish jerk once, and I have lots of shortcomings, but I swear to myself neither none of you will be damn lucky enough to see this ugly side of me. I may be jobless, and full of shortcomings RIGHT NOW, but these little quirks aren’t sumthing that u can train urself in fortnight, it is WHAT YOU ARE, but u can have and still attain these much wanted, respectful criterias ONLY IF it had been unified with urself, when all these good qualities had finally made its way into the core of your continuously-learning mind, when it no longer became an unknown, alienated entity of your beautiful mind, when it had finally penetrate your subconscious mind and affecting your actions, moving your motor system without any self awareness, when u no longer mind doing tiring activity and trying to fulfill the self commitment is no longer a hard, annoying work, ONLY when this happened that u will be able to walk tall with those sifat2 mahmudah on your proud chest thus diminishing the hypocrisy and pretentious act that often came along whenever one decided to adopt, empowering themselves with these great, irreplaceable qualities.

For hundreds time, and thousands to come I wanted to say ‘life is never easy’, there are always ups and downs, u may see I brag here, and tell u about all of my weaknesses that I had, but all these is not to humiliate myself but rather educate. I believe that, you guys, my beloved offspring will benefit the most from all this, will be able to have a grasp of how life looks like, at least may be not from some Nobel laureate winner, or the prime minister, less or more a jedi, but at least from the perspective of your own father, and may our love grows, like I had always had :-)