A little insight

I’m 31 years old and still trying to figure it all out. I'm always contradicting myself though I'm always honest? I consider myself to be special but I suppose everyone feels that way. I always wake up happy and probably a little too perky that is at least until the first bad thing happens to me like stubbing my toe on the way to the bathroom. I always wanted to be an actress but never had the confidence or conviction. and importantly (to me anyway) and this is the part I struggle with! I have a foolishly pure heart but a very impure mind :o)

Literary

Favourite author(s)
It can be no other than Stephen King, he just has this knack of expressing the things than make us human, you know the stuff we don’t talk about but think in our heads, and he makes it seem okay. I’ve also been reading James Herbert since I was 15 after I was totally drawn in by “Sepulchre”. I succumb occasionally to the odd girly book because they make me feel good they never stay in my head for long afterwards though.

Favourite book(s)
Insomnia, The Girl that loved Tom Gordon, (Stephen King) Sepulchre, The Fog, (Herbert) oh and a book I read once many years ago called “The Four Letters Of Love” (Niall Williams) never been able to forget that one!

There are hundreds of books that I love but I never read the same book twice.

The book that changed my life
None so far but am always welcoming change so if anyone wants to recommend one I am open to suggestions among other things.

What are you currently reading
Nothing at this time though I’m always on the lookout for something that grabs my attention.

I'm inspired by...
If I read any very well written book it makes me want to put pen to paper, makes me wish I had it in me and well I have to keep checking because I think the written word is magical and every day I see things small things all around me that make me just want to tell somebody, anybody that will listen.

I started writing because...
I started writing about fifteen years ago as a way of releasing my emotions, you know the sort of stuff, journals, love poems, (to my first boyfriend). Apart from sex, writing is my favourite way of expressing myself and I feel that words used creatively can give a poetic edge to almost anything. The stories started coming thick and fast after I recently ended my nine year relationship.

Aside from writing, what occupies your time
I have a small lunatic child who never stops talking, even when he can’t think of anything to say he makes T-Rex noises. He sings Avril Lavigne songs (My fault) but they say “revenge is sweet” and he’s gonna get some real stick for that at school!! So anyway I’m playing at being mummy and daddy mostly which keeps me insane, Also I have a few part-time jobs that ensure my internet bill is paid and keep me feeling like a person as opposed to just a parent. I love life, love putting the world to rights with my good friends, I play pool and poker like a proper lad and well currently I’m behaving like a teenager which is kind of amusing because I wasn’t very good at it the first time round.

Erotic

How did you get in to writing erotica?
I started writing erotica in October last year when my ex partner asked me to write him a fantasy. “My first foursome” I enjoyed writing it so much and well I’ve been compelled to continue ever since. I love writing and sex so much that combining the two things just seems like it’s meant to be.

What's your favourite writing genre and why
My favourite writing genre seems to be Reluctance and Fetish and I’m not talking rubber glove stuff, I just want to raise the bar a little, see how far I can take things, and the reason is simply that it just comes out that way, I’m expressing myself. I am naturally a submissive person (in the bedroom) though this isn’t a rule of mine, because there are no rules.

Where do you get your creative juice/story ideas from?
My emotions drive my stories. I can see something in the street, someone can make a face, speak a certain way, even the line from a song or a sparked memory can set me off. I use my experiences and my imagination and I always have a writing book in my bag whether I’m going to the shop for a loaf of bread or going out for the evening.

What are your turn-ons?
Everything so long as it involves myself, and one other. In terms of emotion Love turns me on like nothing else, the rain and getting soaked makes me feel incredible sexy, but on a more serious turn on note it sometimes worries me that my mind is sexually insatiable. One day my body will want me to say, “No that’s not right”, but for some reason my mind cause the words “Yes please” to leave my lips, and as soon as I’ve said the word yes it drives me wild because I’m betraying myself. I am always striving to reach new levels and find out whether I actually have boundaries of any description because so far they aren’t in sight. Does that sound screwed up? ;O)

What are your turn-offs?
Lack of enthusiasm is the biggest killer for me. What’s the point in doing something if you aren’t going to give it every part of you? More widely, liars turn me off big time, someone can tell me the smallest lie and I will immediately lose all respect for them.

General

Music I frequently listen to
The music question always makes me cringe, apparently I don’t have a problem discussing taboo subjects but getting me to admit what rubbish I listen to well that’s gonna be a tough task. Lets just say I love to sing so anything that makes me want to sing.

My favourite work of art is
The Human body is a work of art don’t you know so I’m gonna have to say that aren’t I. I think lots of things are beautiful but I like the little things that some people just fail to see.

Favorite Movies
I watched so many over the years and a few stay in my mind but are clouded and mingled with others. I never watch television by the way.

Which websites do you regularly visit
Lushstories of course! Tagged.com and Facebook.

What would be a perfect weekend for you
I really probably should say spending time with my adorable son but that would just be a lie, I love him of course but it gets exhausting. I would love to spend the weekend with someone that just made me laugh so hard I feared wetting myself, a few beers, some serious height reaching sex, and well quite simply I want to spend the weekend being adored :o)

Ideal holiday destination
Anywhere I can a) smoke legally inside a bar and b) Where there aren’t too many wasps! Yes I have a phobia

At home I cook
As little as possible. Okay so I used to love cooking and do actually sing when I’m stirring something in a saucepan, but now it’s just myself, and my son I don’t bother being too creative. I insist on Sunday lunch though Yummm Roast Lamb.

The hardest thing I've ever done was
Becoming a parent. So far I’ve done a good job with my son but it doesn’t come naturally to me and I have to think so carefully about even the tiniest of decisions that may impact him. I think it’s because I take it so seriously that I find it tough.

Most surprising thing people could find out about you
Surprising in the good or bad way? Hmm My family would be mortified if they knew I wrote erotic fiction, they are so judgemental, I think people would be surprised that I’m not as confident a person as I seem.

I don't like talking about...
I don’t like talking about death because it scares me. I once tried to conquer my fear by going to work in a funeral directors but it kind of made things worse and now I have some illustrations in my head to go with the fear.

What I find amusing is
Old people amuse me in the good way, and I know that they aren’t a breed it just came out like that when I said it! I like sitting on the bus listening to them bantering with the driver they’re like teenagers and sometimes I even get roped into the conversations which I have to admit I quite enjoy. I also find it amusing to shock people, People need to learn not to ask a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.

What I don't find amusing is
That people always harp on about the truth yet the world is still full of liars!! Go figure? And the way that other people make us feel about ourselves. I want to be me and it shouldn’t be a struggle it should come naturally.

If I wasn't me I'd like to be
I don’t want to be anyone else. I could not bare the thought of being trapped in another person’s body. My mind is wandering to the possibilities now ha! But I like being me, I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but still I just love being me flaws and all.

I often wonder...
Have you got all day? You have! Okay in short I wonder if I’ll ever find my place in life and my dreams of which I refuse to give up on. I wonder what it’s all about and always come up with the same answers, Human kindness, and Love. I also wonder about some twisted stuff too but that’s another story.