I don’t know where to
begin in explaining. Because it’s not just this one thing that makes this feel
like something I don’t so much want to
do as have to do. I feel like I was always going to end up signing up for a
200-hour yoga teacher certification. That’s for so many reasons. I suppose it
always is.

It’s exactly 13 months
ago, where, to stretch out the tight body that training for my first 10k race
made, I committed to a weekly yoga class to see if that might help loosen me up
a little. It loosened me up a lot – and I’m not just talking about my legs.

Seeing his name in my inbox took my breath
away. No, I thought. Is it really him? What we’d had, all
that time ago – four years ago? five? – was deep and real and intense and I
walked away from it. There hasn’t been much talking to him since. And then there
his name was, on my Gmail, and I thought, nah…
Really?

I walked away from him to fly to Italy.

I walked away from him because technically
he didn’t ask me to stay.

I would’ve walked away anyhow.

I did it in the same way that I’ve done many times since (and before), because I’m always leaving. I really only ever try
when there’s already an exit strategy in place.

In January, I made £953.83. In February, I
made £1,550. In March, I’ll make about £1,300.

I want to write that – exactly how much
money I make - because it’s what I wish I could know about other bloggers. I
wish I could know exactly how much they earn, and from where, and what their
days look like for it. I wanted to write it so that I don't attach my worth to it.

The Internet is powerful in the way it makes us
feel. In the way it reveals just enough to be beautiful or intriguing in the
lives of those we follow, but not enough that we’ll ever know the full truth,
financial or otherwise. And let’s be clear: the writers of the Internet owe us
nothing. We don’t deserve to know
this information. It is the right of everybody, with an “online career” or not,
to tell the version of their lives they want to tell, and its our job to
consume those stories (and Facebook statuses) responsibly. I really believe
that. But we’re nosey about the base facts anyway. I am, at least. I always
want to know the story behind the story. The money behind the lifestyle blog.

Hi, I'm Laura, and this is a website with stories about being a human-in-progress. I'm really glad you're here.

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