00 Cyborg

24 September 2012

24 September 2012

00 Cyborg

M, wearing his usual dress black and whites, seemed more encased by his chair, rather than supported by it as the Cyborg entered the room.

M has a relaxed management style.

“Congratulations, Cyborg, we’re promoting you to 00 status.” M never was one for small talk.

“Wow, that’s fantastic, thanks! All that training must have finally paid off!”

“No, not really. We just don’t have the riders anymore. And don’t be too thankful, 00D, your first assignment is the Back Yamma Bigfoot.”

“00D”, the Cyborg repeated, his face dropping, “That’s a bit of an unlucky number, and it makes me sound like a Dr Who creature...Can’t I have 00C?”

“Don’t mix your satires 00D, and No, 00C is already taken - in fact he’ll be helping you on your mission. We only give out 00s as they become available. You should be thankful we moved to Hex a few years ago.”

“Okay, okay. 00D it is. Well, at least I have an easy assignment to start with: the Back Yamma. That was an excellent ride last year.”

“Ah yes,” replied M, “You would say that; but you only did half the race. There aren’t many hills on the course, but that also means you’re pedalling the whole time. And, this time you’ll be on mission as well, we expect you to keep your eyes and ears open the whole time.”

“A mission? You want me to do more than ride? You suspect something is afoot at the BigFoot?”

“Yes, Cyborg, we do. We suspect that the Bearded Man is using the Back Yamma to recruit followers to his cult of Singlespeed.”

“Those loons? Hmm, that is a good course for singlespeed actually...”

M could see that familiar distance in the Cyborg’s eyes, the look of a junky already thinking about their next fix as he began to think about the additional challenge.

“Don’t even think about it 00D! The 100km would be challenging enough for you, you don’t need to make it any harder. In fact, I believe you should ride your XTC, which is 3 x 10, rather than the SuperFly with it’s puny 20 gears, if only to prove a point.”

“You know,” began the Cyborg, “I just don’t understand these singlespeeders -”

Just then the room filled with a whooshing sound, which immediately brought M’s attention from the Cyborg to the computer on his desk.

“Sorry, Cyborg, I just received an email. Please continue...”

“Well, I just don’t see why anyone would eschew the benefits of - ”

M broke out in uproarious laugher; “Oh, oh,”, he said settling down, “My apologies. It was my joke of the day email. You see a two-legger and a four legger walk into a bar... Oh, nevermind, you wouldn’t get it. Anyway, you were saying?”

“Well, it’s just that these singlespeeders, they elect not to use modern technology when - ”

A loud whistle, brought M’s attention to his mobile phone, “A-ha, the fresh kangaroo order is in. Can you pick that up on your way home, Cyborg? Sorry, you were saying.”

The Cyborg seemed to ignore M, totally engrossed in his phone for a moment,

“Oh, I’m sorry, M, I was just putting a reminder into my phone for the roo meat, when I saw my to do list for today.”

“I see, you have to have your priorities right, of course, Cyborg. Now, you were saying about the Singlespeeders?”

“Yes, but not so fast! You see, as 00 you get certain perks. Go and visit R this weekend to pick up your latest equipment.”

“Cool! Gadgets!” The Cyborg’s face lit up..

“And to keep you focused, we’re partnering you up on this mission. First, you’ll be training with 00C, who will teach you the roady ways, used in long-race tactics. Then you’ll be travelling with Miss BeerMiddy; you’ll be doing all the riding, and she’s going to listen to the word around the headquarters, to see if those singlespeeders really are recruiting.”