In many ways these are my morning papers. I would be curious to look back on that first try and see what was coming up. Is it more confessional like my early childhood, things that I want, needed? I suppose that writing is what helped me find my voice, it helped me figure out what I wanted.

This morning I find myself craving a studio space, a big space to move, to reach, to take up space, do I still need practice with that skill set? Have I learned to take up space? I think I am still widening; I am tyring to let go of clothing that feels restrictive. I don’t need anything pulling me in. I am working on expanding, of really allowing my rib cage some space back there, in my thoracic. I want to be able to imagine my inside more; my inside is a blank space, I don’t really know what is there, where my organs are, what they look like, I want to learn more about what makes up my body, but in an experiential way, how can I make that happen, would BMC address some of those questions?

Pauses, what do pauses do? Do they distract? Does the mind wander? Do they refocus, allowing one to collect, to process, to land, to identify? I want to work on choreographing more pauses for myself, to sit in those moements on stage, to notice the movement that is still happening: the breath, the tension, the tone, the residue. How do you highlight the residue, what is left after the swirl of movement? How does one quiet without wandering – this sounds like a meditative challenge. Will I ever be someone who can mediatate?

My skin is so dry- perhaps I need a new brand of lotion. I can feel my skin thirsting.

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Purpose

This is a blog of processes. Through the sharing of media and writing I am following my impulses, teasing out and unpacking, translating, solidifying, and making concrete my investigations into something that can be shared.