What Not to Say on a First Date

First dates are the worst. You have to hang out with someone who you probably don’t know that well and aren’t even sure you like. Maybe you met them drunk at a party and don’t even remember what they look like. All you remember is telling all your friends, “I’m going to marry Ryan.” You probably aren’t going to marry Ryan. But when he calls you Sunday morning for a coffee date, you will be there no matter how harrowing your hang-over is.

Dating isn’t all bad. It gives you a chance to tell all your best stories that your friends can’t stand hearing anymore. If for some crazy reason you do not love talking about yourself ask the person a lot of questions. They will amuse themselves with their own conversational skills and probably think the date is going reasonably well. That is of course if you avoid these four first date mistakes.

1. Don’t talk about your ex. If you talk shit on them you’re not over them. If you talk about how awesome they are you are clearly not over them. You probably can’t talk in a neutral way about your ex so don’t try. The last thing your potential love interest wants to hear about is your last relationship.

2. Its good to talk about what you do at your job but do not go on a rant about how much you hate your boss. That’s what your co-workers are for. Even if they seem interested in the launch campaign for the deodorant you’re selling, they’re probably not. Give them a slice of what you’re about and leave some mystery.

3. Don’t use pet names. Don’t “babe,” “baby,” “honey,” “sweetie” anyone too soon. This is a first date. You are not in a relationship so don’t act like you are. This also isn’t a good time to mention that you want to have their babies in the next year.

4. Should you talk about sex on your first date?

The sex talk should probably be left out of the first date. They don’t need to know that you like being dominated and tied up before they even know who you are. Go with the flow but keep it light— at least until date three.