Ghettisis 81And His Noodliness remembered Noah, and every living thing within the ark: and His Noodliness made a wind to pass over the earth, and the marinaras settled;2The fountains also of the deep spewing red-hot marinara and the windows of heaven were stopped, and the red rain from heaven was restrained;3And the marinaras returned from off the earth continually: and after the end of the seven and one half score days the marinaras were abated, and much of the marinaras did settle, thinning, and leaving behind waters.4And the ark rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat.5And the marinaras thinned continually until the half scoreth month: in that month, on the first day of the month, were the tops of the mountains seen.6And it came to pass at the end of two score days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made, placed not at the bottom, nor the rear, nor front, nor side, but upon the top:7And he sent forth a raven, which went forth to and fro, until the marinaras were dried up from off the earth; and as they dried, black seasoning was blown into the air, leaving the raven black, evermore.8Also he sent forth a dove from him, to see if the marinaras were abated from off the face of the mountain;9But the dove found no rest for the sole of her foot, and she returned promptly to the ark, keeping her feathers safe from the black seasoning, for the marinaras were yet on the face of the whole earth: then he put forth his hand, and took her, and pulled her in unto him into the ark.10And he stayed yet other seven days; and again he sent forth the dove out of the ark;11And the dove came in to him in the evening; and, lo, in her mouth was an olive leaf pluckt off: so Noah knew that the marinaras were abated from off the earth. 12And Noah stayed yet other seven days; and sent forth the dove; which returned not again unto him any more. But the feathers of the dove had been grayed by the seasoning in the air, and lo, pidgeon did she turn into.13And it came to pass in the thirty scoreth and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, the marinaras were dried up from off the earth, and oceans of water did they leave behind: and Noah removed the covering of the ark, and looked, and, behold, the face of the mountain was dry.14And in the tenth score month, on the seven and scoreth day of the month, was the earth dried.15And the Lord Noodle spake unto Noah, saying,16Go forth of the ark, thou, and thy wife, and thy sons, and thy sons' wives with thee.17Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creepy crawly; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.18And Noah went forth, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him:19And whatsoever creepeth upon the earth, after their kinds, went forth out of the ark.20And Noah builded an altar unto the Lord Noodle; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered cooked offerings on the altar, for Noah knew that His Noodliness had not interest in burnt and tasteless offerings21And the His Awesometude smelled a sweet savour; and said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; For His Noodliness understood that the imperfections of the world were necessary. 22He made no mistake. Inebriated on the days of creation He was not. On the seventh day, He had thrown the Universe against the wall to make certain of its integrity. Thus arose the imperfections of the world.23While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.

Ghettisis 91And His Noodliness blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.2And the beasts and fowl and fishes shall fear you, for your scent is strong and pungent in the air.3Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.4But beware the living things that I have poisoned with unnoodliness; they are unclean.5But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat, unless driven by extreme and grave circumstances, as with being wrecked on an island, and thine mates having snuffed it.6And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man's brother will I require the life of man.7Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for, though not made in My image, I am pleased with the image of man.8And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein. Hold clear that this command be generalized.9And His Noodliness spake unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying,10And I, behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you;11And with every living creature that is with you; from all that go out of the ark, to every beast of the earth.12And I suppose I won't kill everybody again; no more shall I flood the earth with marinara, even though it leaves behind a wonderful taste.13And His Noodliness said, This is the meatball token of the covenant which I make between Me and you and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations:14I do set My bow in the cloud, curved like macaroni, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth.15And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the macaroni arc shall be seen in the cloud, multicolored and beautiful:16And I will remember My covenant, which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the marinaras shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh.17However, I at times, when I am greatly inebriated and in a rage, My noodles may slip, and cause great floods.18But fear thee not, for the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant, and will stay My noodles, lest ye surely drown.19And the Lord Pastaer said unto Noah, This is the meaty token of the covenant, which I have established between Me and all flesh that is upon the earth.20And the sons of Noah, that went forth of the ark, were Shem, and Ham, and Japheth: and Ham is the father of Canaan.21These are the three sons of Noah: and of them was the whole earth overspread. Breeded like gnomes did they.22And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard, for grapes crushed into wine wonderfully complement spaghetti:23And he drank of the wine, with Canaan, and was made drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent, stark raving nude.24Canaan did gleefully tell the news to his father, Ham.25And Ham, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren, mocking his father and undermining his status as a man Sauced on High, servant of His Noodliness.26And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness. They did not take joy as did Ham in their father's nakedness, and wished not to beget shame upon him.27And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what Canaan had done unto him, and that Ham did not unto Canaan cast discipline.28And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.29And he said, Blessed be the Lord Noodle of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.30His Noodliness shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.31And Noah lived after the flood ten and seven and a half score years.32And all the days of Noah were forty and seven and a half score years: and he died. Suddenly as his father before him, his father's father before him, and his father's father's father before him, and so on, and so forth.

Ghettisis 101Now these are the generations of the sons of Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth: and unto them were sons born after the flood.2The sons of Japheth; Gomer, and Magog, and Madai, and Javan, and Tubal, and Meshech, and Tiras.3And the sons of Gomer were many, and His Noodliness lost track, drinking heavily from the keg throughout these years.4And the sons of Javan, a son of Gomer, were numerous as well.5By these were the isles of the Gentiles divided in their lands; every one after his tongue, after their families, in their nations.6And the sons of Ham were many indeed, one being Canaan, whom everybody did frown widely upon.7And the sons of Cush, son of Ham, were excessive.8And one of the sons begat Nimrod: he began to be a mighty one in the earth, for the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster had touched Nimrod with His Great Noodly Appendage.9He was a mighty hunter before the Lord Noodle: wherefore it is said, Even as Nimrod the mighty hunter before the Lord. 10And the beginning of his kingdom was of four, Babel, Erech, and two others, in the land of Shinar.11Out of that land was builded Nineveh, and the city Rehoboth, and Calah,12And Resen between Nineveh and Calah: the same is a great city.13And people had children who begat children, who begat yet more children, and His Noodliness lost interest in their irrelevant names.14And the families of the Canaanites spread abroad.15And the border of the Canaanites was from Sidon, through Gaza, take a right at Sodom, left at Gomorrah, pass Admah and collect ten score gold coins, until Lasha is reached.16The sons of Ham, after their families, after their tongues, in their countries, and in their nations.17Unto Shem also were children born.18And everybody popped babies out like hamsters.19And their dwelling was from Mesha unto Sephar a mountain of the east.20These are the sons of Shem.21These are the families of the sons of Noah: and by these were the nations divided.22Yet His Noodliness cared little.

Rev. Daniel Scott wrote:Ghettisis 101Now these are the generations of the sons of Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth: and unto them were sons born after the flood.2The sons of Japheth; Gomer, and Magog, and Madai, and Javan, and Tubal, and Meshech, and Tiras.3And the sons of Gomer were many, and His Noodliness lost track, drinking heavily from the keg throughout these years.4And the sons of Javan, a son of Gomer, were numerous as well.5By these were the isles of the Gentiles divided in their lands; every one after his tongue, after their families, in their nations.6And the sons of Ham were many indeed, one being Canaan, whom everybody did frown widely upon.7And the sons of Cush, son of Ham, were excessive.8And one of the sons begat Nimrod: he began to be a mighty one in the earth, for the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster had touched Nimrod with His Great Noodly Appendage.9He was a mighty hunter before the Lord Noodle: wherefore it is said, Even as Nimrod the mighty hunter before the Lord. 10And the beginning of his kingdom was of four, Babel, Erech, and two others, in the land of Shinar.11Out of that land was builded Nineveh, and the city Rehoboth, and Calah,12And Resen between Nineveh and Calah: the same is a great city.13And people had children who begat children, who begat yet more children, and His Noodliness lost interest in their irrelevant names.14And the families of the Canaanites spread abroad.15And the border of the Canaanites was from Sidon, through Gaza, take a right at Sodom, left at Gomorrah, pass Admah and collect ten score gold coins, until Lasha is reached.16The sons of Ham, after their families, after their tongues, in their countries, and in their nations.17Unto Shem also were children born.18And everybody popped babies out like hamsters.19And their dwelling was from Mesha unto Sephar a mountain of the east.20These are the sons of Shem.21These are the families of the sons of Noah: and by these were the nations divided.22Yet His Noodliness cared little.

I really like that you revamped Genesis or Ghettisis as you put it. Hope the rest of it will come out. But if this is all there is then that is fine.

May the pasta be with youRAmen.

Pope Dechujoh is the name.Oh, here is a list of things that I have writin: Click the link->The Book of Dechujoh.:Letter to the Risians. (14 Chapters.)has been writinLetter to the Udonites. (2 Chpts.)has been writinLetters between D and M the Udonite. (6 Chpts)has been writinLetters to the Fiorites is next. Started on.Revelations 3: The Scroll of the 7 Sealed Pastas(17 Chpts)has been writin<---T.A.R.D.I.S

I am considering copy/pasta-ing some of these onto a tri-fold letter size page, with too-small type and too-close leading, ready to press upon those who some even to my door on Saturday mornings to convert me, selah.

I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

Some really good work here, enough to get the the text really dense and hard to read, as is desirable in all tracts.

My last decent scripture was the Four Poptarts of the Apocalypse. Maybe I could just tack that onto the end of a pamphlet...as I recall, the original Apocalypse didn't make any rational sense with the rest of its book, either...

I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

Do you guys think it would be cool to add something similar to the book of Numbers that provides a history of all of the original Pastafarians such as us? or at least the ones willing to participate?

I think this provided some very strong cement for the Jewish tradition for several generations. The Mormons and the Amish keep these types of records as well. Although some may be too shy to use their real names. If that is the case the Book of Numbers (or other appropriate name) can proclaim the desired anonymity of the participants.

I think it's a good idea myself but then again it's my idea so I should be expected to like it.

juicegiver wrote:Do you guys think it would be cool to add something similar to the book of Numbers that provides a history of all of the original Pastafarians such as us? or at least the ones willing to participate?

I think this provided some very strong cement for the Jewish tradition for several generations. The Mormons and the Amish keep these types of records as well. Although some may be too shy to use their real names. If that is the case the Book of Numbers (or other appropriate name) can proclaim the desired anonymity of the participants.

I think it's a good idea myself but then again it's my idea so I should be expected to like it.

juicegiver

I'm up for it. I'd have to refamiliarize myself with Numbers, but I like it.