Monday, May 16, 2011

The Absurdity of the English Language

Phoney Phonetics

One reason why I cannot spell,Although I learned the rules quite wellIs that some words like coup and throughSound just like threw and flue and Who;When oo is never spelled the same,The duice becomes a guessing game;And then I ponder over though,Is it spelled so, or throw, or beau,And bough is never bow, it's bow,I mean the bow that sounds like plow,And not the bow that sounds like row -The row that is pronounced like roe.I wonder, too, why rough and tough,That sound the same as gruff and muff,Are spelled like bough and though, for theyAre both pronounced a different way.And why can't I spell trough and coughThe same as I do scoff and golf?Why isn't drought spelled just like route,or doubt or pout or sauerkraut?When words all sound so much the sameTo change the spelling seems a shame.There is no sense - see sound like cents -in making such a differenceBetween the sight and sound of words;Each spelling rule that undergirdsThe way a word should look will failAnd often prove to no availBecause exceptions will negateThe truth of what the rule may state;So though I try, I still despairAnd moan and mutter "It's not fairThat I'm held up to ridiculeAnd made to look like such a foolWhen it's the spelling that's at fault.Let's call this nonsense to a halt."

Guess we have these problems because ours is a mish mash of languages. This reminds me of the story of the von Trapp family - on which the Sound of Music is based. The writer said that when they first came from Austria the mother couldn't wrap her head around the language. Didn't understand why we say freeze/frozen, but not squeeze/squozen.

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Rachel Morgan

Hey there! I'm Rachel. I write fiction for young adults (and those still young at heart!). I'm the author of CREEPY HOLLOW, the Amazon bestselling YA paranormal fantasy series, as well as the light-hearted contemporary romance, THE TROUBLE SERIES.