Sunday, January 2, 2011

Americans have a long-standing tradition of wondering when it is time to take down their holiday decorations. December 26th? January 1st? January 6th? Easter? The Big Box Stores and Hallmark have yet to designate an official day for this, and we just aren't used to such independence. The lack of a designated un-decoration day leaves many Americans to worry: have we left the holiday decorations up too long or not yet long enough?

Americans, worry no longer. I have heard your concerns, and now I will address them, with this very handy, FREE guide. (I do not plan to seek office, but thank you for asking.)

It is Time to Take Down

the Holiday Decorations when:

You begin to feel a little deflated.

Your evergreen swags have been at the bottle,

they are obviously a little tipsy.

The glowing nativity set has seen better days.

The wisemen, clearly, are dead on their feet.

And their camel, unfortunately, really is dead.

The Baby Jesus figure has sat out there in that manger so long

he is no longer a baby

and is able to get out of the manger, unassisted.

(He'd probably try to get back in the garage,

but swaddling clothes are so restrictive.)

The flamingos think that LED lights are the new pink,

because that's what they've seen everyone wearing this season.

Santa is down to just one reindeer.

And other assorted lawn ornaments, left to their own devices,

have begun to commit heinous crimes.

In this case, I suspect that the guy with the sharp stick

or the Santa carrying a blunt, heavy object

are the most likely perpetrators.

The usual suspects.

And finally, you know the holidays are officially over

when you discover Santa has left behind

all his clothing on your lawn.....except his shoes!

Happy New Year!

All these pictures were taken in my own Midwestern neighborhood, using the very thoughtful gift Santa left in my stocking this year. Thank you, Santa!

The Quote that Really Inspires Me:

"You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter. "What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside. "If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Happiness, Your Heritage"