[INT: The Reagan Presidential Library. It is a Monday night debate. A massive day of primaries looms tomorrow. This is our hero’s last chance to turn his fortunes around by securing a decisive win in Florida. But it’s not going well. MARCO RUBIO is bruised and battered (and sweaty, naturally), slowly getting to his feet after another devastating attack. He is down to his last 50 Primary Voters. Opposite him, his opponent stands. It is a tall man, of unusual complexion, haunted eyes, bizarrely disproportionate body parts, and utterly ludicrous hair dyed an impossible color. It is DONALD TRUMP. He still has all 4000 of his Primary Voters. (They’re symbolic, you see. More people than that are actually going to vote for him tomorrow.)

Oh, also, this is all happening atop the Library’s signature exhibit, Reagan’s AIR FORCE ONE, because why not.]

TRUMP: You’re finished, Rubi-boy! One more attack from my Blue-Eyes White People and you’re toast! And even if you could take it down, my Mexican Border Wall still protects my Primary Voters! (more…)

Marco Rubio gets up on the debate stage. He feels a little nervous. But somehow reassured. For some reason, the necklace he got from his grandfather seems to calm him down.

The first answer of the night goes to Donald Trump:

“Look. There’s a reason I’m ahead in all the polls. And I can show you all the polls. I have a whole list. I’m beating them all. I’m especially beating little Marco Rubio, who can’t say anything without breaking a sweat.”