]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/oscars-2015-review-academy-award-awards/feed/02015 Oscar Nominations Announced: ‘Birdman’ and ‘Grand Budapest Hotel’ Lead The Listhttp://www.screenjunkies.com/general/2015-oscar-nominations-announced-birdman-grand-budapest-hotel-lead-list/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/2015-oscar-nominations-announced-birdman-grand-budapest-hotel-lead-list/#commentsThu, 15 Jan 2015 16:51:54 +0000http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=269208The nominees were announced for the 87th Academy Awards, and some of the honors and omissions may surprise you.

The Imitation Game came in second with eight, and Boyhood, winner of Best Picture at The Golden Globes, received six nominations. Both American Sniper (six nominations) and Interstellar (five) received a little more praise from the Academy, but the decision to snub Selma for Best Picture and Best Director — Ava DuVernay would have been the first African American woman nominated — was a shocker that upset film enthusiasts and many members of the Hollywood community.

Considering there are a lot more categories that comprise the granddaddy of them all, from sound design to hairstyling, here is the full list of Oscar nominees up for top honors this year:

Best Picture

Birdman
Boyhood
The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Theory of Everything
American Sniper
Whiplash
Selma
The Imitation Game

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/2015-oscar-nominations-announced-birdman-grand-budapest-hotel-lead-list/feed/0Get Naked, Win Oscar: Reese Witherspoon and 5 Other Actresses Who Bared It All for an Academy Awardhttp://www.screenjunkies.com/general/get-naked-win-oscar-reese-witherspoon-and-5-other-actresses-who-bared-it-all-for-an-academy-award/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/get-naked-win-oscar-reese-witherspoon-and-5-other-actresses-who-bared-it-all-for-an-academy-award/#commentsFri, 05 Dec 2014 18:41:35 +0000http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=267884When it comes to the "Best Actress" category, the Oscars are often little more than a dolled up peep show. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

The “Nudity = Oscar” formula of the Academy Awards is one that has been long understood by Hollywood actresses of even the highest caliber, and one that can be traced back to mid 1960s. While the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences likes to pride itself on being the most progressive, forward-thinking panel of fart-sniffing intellectuals in the country, the reality is that the Oscars serve as little more than a dolled up, 25 cent peep show wherein we all gather to perv out on some high-class ass in the name of “art.” (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

Reese Witherspoon will attempt to follow in the footsteps of countless actresses before her by baring it all in the most Oscar-baity movie of the year, Wild, which receives a limited release this weekend. Having already scored an Academy Award for her portrayal of June Carter Cash in Walk the Line, one could argue that Mrs. Witherspoon need not resort to such exploitative means to win a silly award. On the other hand, YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW.

If Reese wants to drop trou in the hopes of achieving Oscar glory once again, then we say she has every right to, dammit. Besides, you can’t fault her for following a simple formula. Just look at some of the actresses before her who did the same…

Halle Berry’s performance in Monster’s Ball has set something of a standard for modern actresses hoping to earn Oscar recognition through nudity. It is the nude scene to which all other nude scenes draw comparison, and rightfully so. Here you had one of the most beautiful women on the planet — and one who had allegedly been paid half a million dollars to go topless in Swordfish the same year — baring it all in a complex, passionate love scene, and the only downside was that you had to see Billy Bob Thornton’s wrinkly old ass for a few seconds.

Moviegoers and critics alike rightfully lost their goddamn minds at the sight of Berry’s…berries (as Mr. Skin would probably put it). Where was once a fairly mediocre drama about grief and dealing with loss now stood a “raw, uncompromising character study” that scored Berry the Oscar for Best Actress, making her the first African American to achieve such an honor.

Not all nudity has to be sexy, and if you don’t believe me, look no further than Charlize Theron’s transformation into Aileen Wuornos for 2003’s Monster. Theron gained some 30 pounds to portray the now infamous serial killer, which, in a world where Jennifer Aniston is being called “brave” for not wearing makeup, is one hell of a feat. And for her willingness to plump up her immaculate figure and hug Christina Ricci while topless, Theron received a Best Actress Golden Globe. “Nudity comes in all shapes and sizes,” said Academy president Chester Tophat following Theron’s win, “It can be enticing, it can be horrifying. But rest assured, we want to see it all the same.”

In 1998’s Shakespeare In Love, Paltrow followed it to a tee as Viola de Lesseps, the imaginary lover and muse of William Shakespeare while he was writing Romeo & Juliet. While Paltrow is by all means a gorgeous woman with a great body, I think we can all agree that the film would’ve been much hotter had the role gone a different member of the cast: Dame Judi Dench.

Hollywood is nothing if not rooted in hypocrisy, and I point you to Kate Winslet Oscar win as proof of this. Winslet was passed over for Best Actress five times before scoring a win with 2009’s The Reader, and we’re we’re sure that her lengthy nude scenes had nothing to do with her win (*makes wanking gesture, but not for the reasons you think*).

Yet in the same year that Rose from Titanic got even more naked, Lars Von Trier showed dongs going in with Antichrist and won nothing. Shameful.

Every trend has an originator, and Julie Christie is the OG of onscreen, Oscar-worthy nakedness. In 1966, Christie took home the Academy Award for her turn as Diana Scott, a British model sleeping her way to the top in Darling the previous year. The role was so provocative that Life magazine ended up declaring 1965 as “The Year of Julie Christie”, as opposed to “The Year of the Hobbit” we are currently living in thanks to Kim Kardashian‘s #BreaktheInternet campaign.

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/get-naked-win-oscar-reese-witherspoon-and-5-other-actresses-who-bared-it-all-for-an-academy-award/feed/0halle_berry_monsters_ball1763992fhd998sil_gwyneth_paltrow_0181764014SFTW JC in Darling 2Neil Patrick Harris Was The Fourth Choice To Host The Oscars. Here Were The First Three.http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/neil-patrick-harris-was-the-fourth-choice-to-host-the-oscars-here-were-the-first-three/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/neil-patrick-harris-was-the-fourth-choice-to-host-the-oscars-here-were-the-first-three/#commentsWed, 22 Oct 2014 23:25:17 +0000http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=266463Number four on the list, number one in our hearts.

]]>While Neil Patrick Harris seems like he as born to host the Oscars, and has garnered high hopes since his announcement two weeks ago, he was not the first choice of this year’s producers. Who also happen to be last year’s producers. No, he was not the first choice, he was not the second choice, and he wasn’t the third choice. Those honors go to Ellen DeGeneres, Chris Rock, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, respectively.

I really can’t imagine Chris Rock or Julia Louis-Dreyfus buying into the annual Hollywood circle-jerk (though Rock did host once before), so they passed, and DeGeneres just didn’t want to do it again. That brings us to Doogie.

It’s a pretty thankless gig, and the producers should be happy they were able to score NPH for hosting duties. Hopefully, his introduction will include many, many, many clips from Gone Girl to get the crowd fired up!

]]>Word has come from those fat cats in Hollywood that Neil Patrick Harris, the homosexual that all of America can agree on, will be hosting the next Oscar ceremony on Sunday, February 22nd, 2015. As usual, the ceremony will take place at the Dolby Theater in Hollywood.

NPH has developed into a strong candidate the past few years, having taken winning stabs at hosting the Emmys twice, and the Tonys four times.

The news came from Academy Awards producer Neil Meron, who Tweeted out the announcement (like some sort of teenager):

You don’t capitalize “thrilled” unless you’re really thrilled about some news. Also, you don’t need to put the same hashtag twice in a Tweet. People will pick it up on a search with just one. But whatever. This isn’t about Oscar producer Neil Meron’s struggles with technology. This is about Neil Patrick Harris singing and dancing his way to the most difficult, thankless job in Hollywood.

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/neil-patrick-harris-to-finally-host-the-oscars/feed/0Oscar Nominees Will Be Getting Weed Vaporizers In Their Gift Bagshttp://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/oscar-nominees-will-be-getting-weed-vaporizers-in-their-gift-bags/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/oscar-nominees-will-be-getting-weed-vaporizers-in-their-gift-bags/#commentsMon, 18 Aug 2014 14:51:05 +0000http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=264250"It's an honor just to be nominated. Also, I can now get stoned as f*ck."

]]>As if getting an Oscar nod wasn’t a big enough deal already, now they’re loading up those famous gift bags with something that actually has some practical value. In addition to a $3,000 watches, expensive face creams made from orphan tears, and exotic car access, the nominees at the Oscars will be treated to getting marijuana vaporizers in their gift bag.

Even for those who don’t smoke pot, given the relaxed climate of use, and the fact that you now have that vaporizer sitting on your kitchen table, it may spur an actor or two to light up and sample the wares.

However, there are some actors that are just so un-fun and self serious that they’ll probably trash it. Yup. I was thinking about Sean Penn and Jared Leto. Lighten up, guys. Smoke some pot.

Tinseltown is a horrible, fickle mistress. A tarted-up fame junkie with flashbulb eyes and ashy elbows who is always on the hunt for the next big thing.

One day, you might find yourself seated at the best tables with no need for a reservation. The next, you’re nobody. A nothing. Fodder for tabloids to call fat or for bloggers to draw dicks on. Like these esteemed actresses who likely won’t get Oscar noms this year.

Blake Lively – Savages

She solidified herself as an actress to watch (this time for her acting) with her performance in The Town. However, her next foray into serious drama didn’t garner a fraction of the acclaim. Unless Amy Adams starts doing American Pie sequels, there’s no way we should expect Blake Lively to receive the Best Supporting Actress nod in 2012.

Nicole Kidman – The Paperboy

To the surprise of everyone who hasn’t seen a movie pre-2003, Nicole Kidman snagged nominations for both a SAG Award and a Golden Globe for her role in The Paperboy. Despite her total commitment to the slutty Southern character, the film itself is to blame here for her Oscar snub. The reasons are two-fold. For one, Zac Efron is in this movie. Two, she number ones on him. I can’t think of many award-winning movies in recent memory where characters pee on themselves or others. Except 127 Hours maybe.

Doona Bae – Cloud Atlas

She gave the bravest performance in the year’s most unjustifiably derided films. Doona Bae’s portrayal as a servant clone/sex slave turned revolutionary in 2144 Neo Seoul. Not only did her pain inspire future generations to fight for their civil rights, but it also inspired me to second-guess the hiring practices at Hooter’s restaurants.

Laura Linney – Hyde Park On The Hudson

We haven’t seen much of Laura Linney lately, outside of Downton Abbey introductions, and Hyde Park On The Hudson was her chance to come back. Not that the Academy will take notice with Anne Hathaway out there shaving her head while crying.

]]>The letter-writing campaign to AMPAS worked! The Oscars now will admit TEN nominees in the category for Best Visual Effects! Further, we can “enjoy” these slight changes that will ever so gently tweak the perennial circle jerk that are the Academy Awards:

Foreign-language submissions needn’t be exhibited in 35mm in their country of origin! Pinch me! I’m dreaming!

A fourth songwriter on one track for Best Original Song category may be included in “rare and extraordinary circumstances.” I feel like I’m rolling on ecstasy!

Minorities and Republicans will not be allowed into the Dolby theater, but rather asked to watch the telecast across the street at the El Capitan Theater via a live closed circuit feed. Hmm. That just seems kind of racist and mean.

The Best Makeup Category will now be Best Makeup and Hairstyling. This news is so good I want to top it off with anonymous sex!

Now the bad news! We have to wait until February 24th to see this changes enacted at the next Academy Awards! I would honestly give up the last ten years of my life if those awards would just come a day sooner. I’m just going to sleep as much as I can until so that time may pass quickly.

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/have-insomnia-let-these-oscar-award-revisions-lull-you-gently-to-sleep/feed/0Sacha Baron Cohen And 6 Other Oscar “Controversies”http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/sacha-baron-cohen-and-6-other-oscar-controversies/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/sacha-baron-cohen-and-6-other-oscar-controversies/#commentsThu, 23 Feb 2012 15:15:32 +0000http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=245961This is a controversy in the same way a "too-soon" Whitney Houston Facebook post is a controversy.

]]>Word in Tinseltown today is that Sacha Baron Cohen has had his Oscar invitation rescinded until he can convince the powers that be that he won’t disrupt the red carpet or the ceremony.

While this may sound like a pretty stupid thing to occur, let alone for us to read and learn about, this “controversy” is just one of a handful of “controversies” that have taken place during the Academy Awards. I keep putting quotes around “controversy” because something controversial that takes place during a damn awards ceremony isn’t really a controversy. In fact, it isn’t really anything.

But because I suckle on the botox-ed, turgid tit of the entertainment industry, I give you six other Oscar controversies that really don’t amount to a hill of beans to anyone but a select group of silly people.

In 1970, Jane Fonda received her first Oscar nod for They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?, a film that follows one woman as she ascertains whether horses are being shot (That’s almost certainly untrue). Getting out of her limo, making her way to the red carpet, she threw up a Black Panther salute, much to the chagrin of most every non-Black Panther in attendance.

She made up for it by having her acceptance speech translated into sign language when she won ten years later. Which is nice, so long as the signing is real. See below to understand that enigmatic half-riddle.

The Streaker

Robert Opel was able to score a Wikipedia entry for himself by running across the 1974 Academy Awards stage naked, or “streaking” as the kids my father’s age called it. The act was done while David Niven was introducing Elizabeth Taylor. Unfazed, Niven offered, “Well, ladies and gentlemen, that was almost bound to happen… But isn’t it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings?”

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/sacha-baron-cohen-and-6-other-oscar-controversies/feed/0jane fondaoscar streakerWhy Do We (Or Don’t We) Care About The BAFTAs?http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/why-do-we-or-don%e2%80%99t-we-care-about-the-baftas/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/why-do-we-or-don%e2%80%99t-we-care-about-the-baftas/#commentsFri, 10 Feb 2012 20:29:24 +0000http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=245067Everything you wanted to know about the BAFTAs but were too smart to ask.

]]>It’s Hollywood’s hallowed awards season. And aside from the Oscars and maybe the Golden Globes, the distinctions between the awards offered can be murky at best. You may or may not know that BAFTA stands for “British Academy of Film and Television Arts.” So it’s British, but that’s about all the layperson would know. So, why should they care?

The awards are often considered a decent prognistication of the Oscar outcomes, but honestly, what award ISN’T considered an indicator of Oscar buzz? Let’s take a closer look at the BAFTAs so that you can determine if they’re worth your time and energy.

(Spoiler alert: Unless you’re nominated or a film critic, a walk around the neighborhood might serve you better than tuning into this guy’s ceremony)

What are the BAFTAs?:

The BAFTAs are the annual awards given out by the British Academy of Film and Television Arts. While the academy represents both film and television, as the name states, the award ceremonies are delineated so that fans of cinema the world over aren’t subjected to watching a sweep by whatever national program Brits were watching before Downton Abbey.

The Academy has 6,000 or so professionals in the industries of film, television, and, recently, video games. This is important because, unlike the Oscars, which are voted on by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Scientists, the BAFTAs are voted on by video game and television professionals as well, which makes them a little less “insder-y” if you want to be diplomatic, and a little less “up their own butt” if you don’t.

They take place at Royal Albert Hall in London in mid-February, always before the Oscars and always after the Golden Globes.

How They’re Judged:

Lucky for you, this is where it gets kind of complicated. What’s that? You didn’t want to spend your weekend studying how the BAFTA Award winners are determined? Tough shit. This is happening.

Around 250 films get entered in all for the various categories. Every Academy member can vote up to 12 times (!) in every category. From there, the 15 with the highest vote totals form the shortlist for each category. Then, each Academy member can vote 5 times for the nominees, creating a shorter shortlist of 5 films per category. From THERE, all Academy members can only vote in the following categories:

Best Film Leading Actress Leading Actor Supporting Actress Supporting Actor Film Not in the English Language Outstanding British Film Documentary

All of the other categories, like editing and sound, are voted on only by members specific to that field. Of course, to complicate matters, this flow chart (taken from BAFTA’s website) states that there are only 6 universal categories (with the actor and actress categories having two awards each for lead and supporting performances) on which everyone can vote.

Ok. This means that you don’t have some 80 year-old woman who was a child star in the 1940’s voting on Best Sound and Best Visual Effects. That seems to be an edge the BAFTAs have over the Oscars in terms of “accuracy.” However, considering the Oscars are still the alpha dog come awards season, how much does being the rightful winner if someone else gets the biggest award? Probably not much.

What Do They Matter?:

That said, since the BAFTA nominations and awards both precede the Oscars, it’s thought that, more and more, the BAFTAs are influencing Oscar voters, namely by suggesting British films for Oscar nomination that otherwise would have gone unnoticed. So, thanks for that, BAFTAs. They have served as a decent predictor since they moved in between the Golden Globes and Oscars in 2001. Of course, some of the correlation could just be due to the fact that the two academies share some members, who ostensibly vote for the same films for each award.

So, if you find your Sunday night lacking, and wouldn’t mind taking a gander at one of the myriad “Oscars Jr.” ceremonies, tune in to BBC1 at 9 PM British time to watch the Oscars’ last dress rehearsal!

With every list of nominees, there are inevitable snubs. Here’s a rundown of the actors and films we feel should at least be considered by the dillhole Academy.

Uggie

Granted, The Artist has charm out the ass. But one can’t deny the contributions of George Valentin’s canine sidekick, played excellently by Uggie, who kept perfect pace with the film’s leads. He can do it all! Jump up and down, pull people out of quicksand, skateboard! And check out that pic! Dude is packing some serious Fassbender. Hell, is it too late to make him the Oscars host?

Andy Serkis

Andy Serkis got a ton of buzz for his work in Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Deservedly so. The master of motion capture brought Caesar to life, giving the character more complex emotions than traditional animation could ever provide that really shaped the film’s more heartbreaking moments.

This snub doesn’t appear to be directly pointed at Serkis as an actor, but more so at the technique of motion-capture itself. Another HUGE snub goes to The Adventures of Tintin in the animated category. That movie is pure awesome and didn’t get a nod. Yet, Puss In Boots makes the list despite its animated style having been featured on screens in four other movies over the past 11 years.

]]>The Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence and Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences president, Tom Sherak, from the Samuel Goldwyn Theater in Beverly Hills, announced the nominees for the 2012 Academy Awards this morning. The former nominee reached into a large glass bowl and removed the names of males and females for each category. A pretty wacky mix of nominees this year with Andy Serkis and Uggie being completely snubbed. I wouldn’t be surprised of angry dogs and apes are flooding Hollywood Boulevard right this minute.

The nominees are:

BEST PICTUREThe Artist War Horse The Descendants Moneyball The Tree of Life Midnight in Paris The Help HugoExtremely Loud and Incredibly Close

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-2012-academy-award-nominations/feed/0Brett Ratner Steps (a.k.a. Waddles) Down As Oscar Producerhttp://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/brett-ratner-steps-a-k-a-waddles-down-as-oscar-producer/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/brett-ratner-steps-a-k-a-waddles-down-as-oscar-producer/#commentsWed, 09 Nov 2011 01:35:45 +0000http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=235635It's not OK to make fun of people for how they were born, fatty!

In a move that will send shock waves through the shrimp-eating/masturbating community, director Brett Ranter has stepped down from his post as a producer of this year’s Oscar telecast. Well, it wasn’t so much a “step down” as it was a halfhearted waddle followed by an unsuccessful attempt to pull up his pants.

Ratner apologized for his recent comments and announced his resignation in an open letter to the entertainment industry. No word yet on whether the letter was smeared with mustard.

So many artists and craftspeople in our business are members of the LGBT community, and it pains me deeply that I may have hurt them. I should have known this all along, but at least I know it now: words do matter

The fact that Brett didn’t realize words matter, coupled with the fact that he thinks “rehearsing is for fags,” really goes a long way toward explaining his films. At least he’s learning. And if I’ve learned anything from all this, it’s that while making fun of gays is clearly off limits, making fun of fat people is still OK, especially if the fat person in question is making fun of gays. (Vulture)

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/brett-ratner-steps-a-k-a-waddles-down-as-oscar-producer/feed/0The 7 Most Miserable Oscar Momentshttp://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-7-most-miserable-oscar-moments/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-7-most-miserable-oscar-moments/#commentsMon, 28 Feb 2011 20:19:02 +0000http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=30650For a show that was supposed to appeal to a younger audience, it sure did rely heavily on comedic cliches.

Anne Hathaway and James Franco have been roundly panned for their performance at last night’s Academy Award ceremony. And while I hate to jump on the snarky anti-Oscar bandwagon, the fact remains that last night’s broadcast sucked more than one of Charlie Sheen’s house guests. For a show that was supposed to appeal to a younger audience, it sure did rely heavily on comedic cliches, and that’s coming from a guy who just made a Charlie Sheen joke. But what it lacked in originality it more than made up for in geriatrics. If that sounds exciting, you’re going to love the seven most miserable moments of the 83rd Academy Awards.

Moms and Grandmas

Hey look, Anne Hathaway’s mom is in the audience, and so is James Franco’s grandmother. Isn’t that adorable? Sure, I suppose it is, if you’re a 60-year old woman. Otherwise, watching a celebrity’s family reunion is about as exciting as watching a Staten Island children’s choir.

Kirk Douglas

I was happy to see Kirk Douglas alive and kicking. He’s a living legend who commands respect. But he’s also a 94-year-old stroke victim. This isn’t “Harrison Bergeron.” Maybe it wasn’t the best idea in the world to have him speak for a prolonged period. It would be one thing if he was accepting a lifetime achievement award. In that situation, you let the man talk as long as he wants. But watching him present an award was just painful, and would have killed the show’s momentum if there had been any. Next year, why not have Michael J. Fox hold the boom mic?

James Franco In Drag

Putting a man in drag is the comedic equivalent of shrugging your shoulders and saying “f*ck it.” Honestly, what could be more uninspired. This is the Oscars, not Big Momma’s House III. They had a year to come up with this shit.

Anne Hathaway In Anything

James Franco was bad. Anne Hathaway was worse. I wanted to like her, I really did. But she was awful. You could make the argument that at least she was trying, as compared to Franco who seemed to be phoning it in. But in this situation, less was more. Maybe that’s not fair, but neither was having to sit through Anne singing that stupid song about Hugh Jackman. Jesus Christ, I think Whoopi Goldberg might have been more entertaining, and I’m not talking about when she hosted the Oscars. I’m talking about her role in the 1995 comedy, Theodore Rex.

Melissa Leo Drops the F-Bomb

I don’t mind foul language. In fact, I fucking love it. But this is the Oscars. Millions of people are watching, including children. Do I think a bunch of brats hearing an F-Bomb or two are going to instantly turn into juvenile delinquents? No. But Melissa Leo’s use of the word during her rambling acceptance speech was pointless. If you’re going to break out the big guns in a situation like the Oscars, it should at least be funny or clever. Leo was neither, and it just came across as desperate. Besides, if she wanted to go that route, fuck is played out. She should have told the audience she would C U Next Tuesday.

Billy Crystal Makes Me Miss Billy Crystal

For years, I hated Billy Crystal’s trite, predictable Oscar routines. But seeing him last night in the middle of such a sub-par show made me nostalgic for his bland musical numbers. I’m not sure if this is the result of Hathaway and Franco’s failure, or the fact that I’m slowly becoming my parents. Either way, it made me very, very sad.

The Singing School Kids

Maybe I’m just a soulless bastard, but what the hell was the point of bringing in the childrens choir to end the show? Were they cute? I guess, if you’re a woman or a pedophile. But so what. Why not just end the show with stream of puppies and kittens being released onto the stage. Actually, that’s an awesome idea. It would have been a lot more enjoyable than some brats from Staten Island.

]]>Tonight’s Academy Awards were a cacophony of broken screams from the damned (the losers), and the sound of faux humble half-smiles from the blessed (the winners). Here’s a list of the major winners:

I admit to being disappointed that The Social Networkdidn’t bring home any major awards, but this will almost certainly be a case of a “loser” being remembered much longer than the winner. When was the last time you watched Shakespeare in Love? (via IMDb)

]]>The Independent Spirit Awards are designed to shed light on the lesser, more independent films that are released each year – so of course it makes sense that they also serve as a predictor of the most mainstream awards ceremony in all of Hollywood. Or does it? It could be that since the requirements to be considered an “independent film” are somewhat stringent (see the decreased number of nominated films compared to the Oscars as an example), this isn’t any better a predictor than tea leaves or fortune cookies. Anyway, here’s a list of the major winners:

Interesting stuff — we’ll see if these three movies can do anywhere near as well at the Oscars, given that they have so much more competition. You can get a complete list of all the winners over at IMDb.

]]>Dana Carvey hosted SNL this weekend. I think he did, although I could have just stepped into a halfway entertaining time machine and emerged in a bygone era of late night television. Mike Myers joined Carvey for the show’s cold open, a new(!) episode of Aurora, Illinois’ favorite public access show, “Wayne’s World.” The duo, looking every bit the same as the last time we saw them, recited their same old jokes in their same exact set. Seriously, do they have all the old sets and props in storage? Have they preserved Rob Schneider‘s Makin’ Copies-guys’ Xerox machine somewhere? Stupid question, it’s clearly in the Smithsonian. The duo ran down their picks for the upcoming Academy Awards, and made numerous dick jokes about Winter’s Bone, or as is Myers’ M.O., the same Winter’s Bone joke numerous times. The whole sketch, and episode, was mildly comforting and at the same time irritating, much like a childhood security blanket that’s gotten scratchy or threadbare from being washed too many times. It was fun to see that the jokes, sets, characters, and performers hadn’t changed a bit in 20 years, but that’s also what made it kind of a downer. (Slashfilm)

All of Hollywood woke up early today to find out the nominees for the 2011 Academy Awards. Except for M. Night Shyamalan. He’s going to sleep in. And then eat some waffles that he later discovers are ghosts.

Without further ado, here are the nominees that will have to struggle to keep eye contact with co-host Anne Hathaway.

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/2011-oscar-noms-are-here/feed/42010-OSCAR-NOMS9 Foreign Film Oscar Nominees You Don’t Care About To Be Whittled Down To 5 Nominees You Don’t Care Abouthttp://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/9-foreign-film-oscar-nominees-you-dont-care-about-to-be-whittled-down-to-5-nominees-you-dont-care-about/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/9-foreign-film-oscar-nominees-you-dont-care-about-to-be-whittled-down-to-5-nominees-you-dont-care-about/#commentsWed, 19 Jan 2011 19:27:30 +0000http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=18863Another year, another spin of the Foreign Film Wheel.

]]>Another year, another spin of the Foreign Film Wheel to determine the next round of nominees for Best Foreign Language Film Oscar at the Academy Awards. The list of strange, foreign-sounding titles is as follows:

I’m not the most well-versed guy in contemporary foreign film, but I do like movies and I’ve only heard of 1 of these (I’ll leave it to you to guess which one). Anyway, all patriots know that America makes the best movies. Do I look like a socialist or something? Where’s Glenn Beck‘s Oscar??

]]>The BAFTA nominations were announced today (via Entertainment Weekly), with little fanfare, probably because everyone was recovering their dropped monocles from their champagne flutes after Ricky Gervais‘ hosting detail at the Golden Globes on Sunday. Well, the human spirit will not relent in the cause of providing overpaid, overexposed actors with more arbitrary congratulations.

Another reason the BAFTA nominations didn’t make much noise is the fact that they never really do. They have an (understandable) tendency to pile on the praise for native Brits, so much so that they even have a two categories strictly for Brits. I mean, the Oscars are certainly ethnocentric to America, but we don’t explicitly say it. That’s just tacky.

A third reason that the BAFTA noms aren’t shaking the earth today is that they’re not very interesting. It hasn’t exactly been an awards season rife with surprises. In fact, the only snub on this list that’s immediately apparent is the exclusion of The Fighter for True Grit. So as much as the Brits like to praise their own, they clearly HATE CHRISTIAN BALE. (Except that the nominated him for Best Supporting Actor. So perhaps they are CONFLICTED ABOUT CHRISTIAN BALE.)

Here’s a full list of the nominees. It’s no big departure from any other list you’ve seen in the past few months, but enjoy the last category, where, for reasons indeterminate, they try to sneak in an award for teeny-boppers. Very droll, Britain. Very droll, indeed. Cheerio.

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/bafta-noms-not-surprisingly-favor-the-british/feed/0BAFTA-LogoRoad To The Oscars: ‘The Social Network’http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/road-to-the-oscars-the-social-network/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/road-to-the-oscars-the-social-network/#commentsThu, 06 Jan 2011 21:51:22 +0000http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=14392Hello, Junkies! Ronnie Pudding here, once again participating in the state parole board’s work release program by taking a look at the front runners for the 83rd Academy Awards and writing about it on the internet.

Hello, Junkies! Ronnie Pudding here, once again participating in the state parole board’s work release program by taking a look at the front runners for the 83rd Academy Awards and writing about it on the internet. Hard to believe 2010’s already been tossed in the dumpster like a dirty syringe but there it is, festering with HIV and broken dreams. Or maybe that’s an actual dirty syringe; after all, Ronnie’s writing this from the dumpster behind Starbucks of Toluca Lake (not the worst dumpster I’ve spent the night in and hey, free WiFi). Seems like just yesterday I was comparing the Oscar prospects of films like Avatar, Up in the Air and The Hurt Locker. Of course that could be due to the fact that I spent the last eleven months in a paint-huffing-induced coma. Or perhaps because the resulting brain damage gave me the short term memory recall of Guy Pearce’s character in Memento. Or maybe it’s because… what was I writing about again? And what’s that tattoo on my scrotum? Oh yeah… the Oscars.

Unlike last year, there’s no one film gobbling up media attention like a paternal-love-deprived stripper at a daddy convention. And that’s probably a good thing. Because while it went on to become the highest grossing movie of all time, 2009’s Avatar has aged about as well as Maria Conchita Alonzo in a pair of Z Cavaricci pants. Luckily, there are a number of actual good films in contention for this year’s Best Picture shiny gold dude. Films such as The King’s Speech, Inception, 127 Hours Black SwanTrue Grit, Amputee Sluts 5 (a solid improvement over the franchise’s 4th installment) and the subject of this week’s article, The Social Network.

I was admittedly skeptical when I heard the news that a Facebook movie was in the works. After all, the Friendster movie had spiraled into obscurity as quickly as it rose to prominence and the MySpace movie turned out to be nothing more than a garish display of tasteless narcissism, shameless self-promotion and sparkly unicorn GIFs. However my initial misgivings were put to rest when I actually saw the film. While David Fincher’s probably most known for his visual flourishes – and for a film taking place mostly in dorm rooms and board rooms here and there are plenty – his best work can be found in his loving handling of mentally deranged misanthropes such as Fight Club’s schizophrenic protagonist, the serial killers from Se7en and Zodiac and now perhaps the most misanthropic of them all, Facebook creator and Mark Zuckerberg. The slick editing capture the spirit of the internet age, zipping from scene to scene like someone scrolling through a lady friend’s Facebook gallery hoping for a drunken panty flash or nipple shot. But what really stood out was Aaron Sorkin’s dialogue, which comprised a litany of instantly quotable lines rattled off at a machine gun clip not unlike a smarter version of Tarantino’s coked-up motor-mouthisms. For a film populated almost entirely by privileged Ivy League douchebags, The Social Network was utterly engaging.

But was it an Oscar winner? Let’s see where it stands in the in the major categories that drive the Academy’s voting.

RETARD STRENGTH (2.5/5): While Jesse Eisenberg had previously made a career of being the discount Michael Cera, with his portrayal of Facebook head honcho Mark Zuckerberg, he finally stepped out of George-Michael’s shadow and into his own spotlight. His Zuckerberg was deliciously complex; too villainous to be an anti-hero, too pathetic to be an actual villain. He was misanthropic, misogynistic, sociopathic, and perhaps a bit Aspberger’s afflicted. But unfortunately, a flawed character does not a retard make. As I explained last year: If you qualify for the Special Olympics, you’re retarded enough for an Oscar — so long as you adhere to the “full retard” rule posited in Tropic Thunder. But while Zuckerberg’s personality flaws made him a more interesting character, they did not provide obstacles for him to overcome on his journey (which culminated in him becoming a multi-billionaire). If anything, they helped. A lot.

SOCIAL RELEVANCE (4/5): While the Prius-driving, Mac-using, plastic-rimmed-glasses set will remind you that they abandoned Facebook for Twitter (or was it Tumblr) like a thousand-million years ago, no amount of hipster elitism can hide the fact that Facebook is a genuine social phenomenon. It has transcended the ephemeral nature of most “killer apps” and for the moment at least, seems to be a permanent addition to our cultural zeitgeist. Want proof? Ask your mom. Not only does she know what Facebook is, she’s actually on it — tagging you in embarrassing family photos and posting irony-oblivious comments under your snarky status updates. Eff yeah, Facebook’s relevant.

EPICOSITY (2/5): While The Social Network’s cinematography would make for an amazing episode of “Saved by the Bell,” it hardly contains the sort of epic grandiosity that leads to an easy Oscar win. This is not a knock on David Fincher or his cinematographer Jeff Cronenweth; The Social Network necessarily takes place in visually banal locales such as Ivy League dorms, generic office buildings and Palo Alto computer geek hovels. But while this certainly serves the film, if they were hoping to serve the tastes of Academy voters they should have the thrown in the occasional helicopter shot of the Grand Tetons, or a camel caravan crossing Saharan Tunisia.

UPLIFT (1/5): Are you a wealthy, silver-spoon-chewing douche-nozzle whose massive ego is only dwarfed by your gargantuan sense of entitlement? Do you have zero regard for personal relationships, viewing your friends as ultimately disposable stepping stones toward attaining the success that is your birthright? Well according to The Social Network, if you play your cards right, you might wind up being one of the wealthiest men in America before your 30th birthday. This is probably pretty uplifting to the handful of you reading this from your Phillips-Exeter dorm rooms as you arbitrarily select which nannies you’ll frame for stealing the family silver over sprin break. But for the rest of us – we actual humans with actual souls — it only serves as a grim reminder that success is all too often built on the knife-adorned backs of those foolish enough to trust their fellow man.

TOTAL POWER RANKING (2.375/5): Is The Social Network a great film? Certainly. Given the degree to which social networking has inexplicably affected (and infected) our daily lives it is the most relevant film of the year – perhaps even the decade — and a best adapted screenplay trophy for Sorkin is virtually guaranteed. But I don’t see it taking home a Best Picture Oscar on February 27th. Perhaps The Twitter Movie will be the internet film to finally pull that off.

Oh, and hey, don’t forget to “like” this article on Facebook! LOL! Fart.

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/road-to-the-oscars-the-social-network/feed/5social-network-oscarretard_strengthsocial_relevanceepicosityuplift2010 Oscar Live Bloghttp://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/2010-oscar-live-blog/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/2010-oscar-live-blog/#commentsWed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000Wheeeeew, did you guys catch that Oscar thing last night?! What a thing that was, huh? Not so much? Well if you didn't read along with our live blog while you were watching I can understand why you might not have had any fun. But hey, that doesn't mean you can't read it now and laugh your head off from the nostalgia. Last night will be a night we'll all remember for a VERY long time. Wait, a woman won something right?Check out the winners here, and read our "hilarious" live blog below! SJ Oscar Live Blog

Wheeeeew, did you guys catch that Oscar thing last night?! What a thing that was, huh? Not so much? Well if you didn’t read along with our live blog while you were watching I can understand why you might not have had any fun. But hey, that doesn’t mean you can’t read it now and laugh your head off from the nostalgia. Last night will be a night we’ll all remember for a VERY long time. Wait, a woman won something right?

We firmly believe that the Oscars would benefit from adding a few wild-card categories every year. You know, mix it up. Keep it fresh. Here are a few possibilities, including nominees. If you have more, post them in the comments section. And don’t forget to follow our Oscar liveblog HERE starting 8pm Eastern, 5pm Pacific this Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Sunday.

So the 82nd Academy Awards are a mere week and a half away and I still have a TON of work to do for my Oscar party. I’ve got to sew together the little tuxedos for all my kitties, pick up the ingredients for my famous homemade pizza egg rolls from the meat rendering plant, sculpt a life-sized effigy of Academy President Tom Sherak out of hummus and of course I still have to go see G-Dawg Killa, my dope man, about an order of “party favors” that will guarantee my female guests will be incapable of resisting my charms come March 7th.

And of course I have to give you the rest of my Oscar picks. Over the past few weeks I’ve shared my thoughts about the major categories and dissected some of the frontrunners for Best Picture. But what of the lesser categories? You know, the ones that no one cares about? Performance by an actor in a supporting role

Matt Damon in "Invictus" (Warner Bros.)

Woody Harrelson in "The Messenger" (Oscilloscope Laboratories)

Christopher Plummer in "The Last Station" (Sony Pictures Classics)

Stanley Tucci in "The Lovely Bones" (DreamWorks in association with Film4, Distributed by Paramount)

Christoph Waltz in "Inglourious Basterds" (The Weinstein Company)One of Quentin Tarantino’s greatest strengths is finding the right talent to fill his roles, even if these casting choices are “outside the box” (I just threw up in my mouth a little writing that tired cliché (and threw up in YOUR mouth a little writing that second tired cliché)). In doing so he’s revived the floundering careers of some veteran actors – um, can we put Travolta back in the carbonite chamber now? But Tarantino seemingly plucked Christoph Waltz out of the Teutonic actor ether to play Colonel Hans Landa. Thanks to Waltz’s inspired performance, Landa turned out to be the most engaging onscreen Nazi since Colonel Klink. Give that man an Oscar!

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

Penélope Cruz in "Nine" (The Weinstein Company)

Vera Farmiga in "Up in the Air" (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)

Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Crazy Heart" (Fox Searchlight)

Anna Kendrick in "Up in the Air" (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)

Mo’Nique in "Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire" (Lionsgate)Mo’Nique received a good deal of buzz for her turn as the titular character’s cracked-out mom in Precious, but I think giving the sympathy Oscar for Best Actress to Gabourey Sidibe will free up the Academy to give a Best Supporting Actress Sympathy Oscar to Best Picture also-ran Up in the Air. I mean they have to give it a trophy for something, right? Besides, Vera Farmiga has that MILFy horny soccer mom thing going on, like if you buy her a few Mudslides at the TGI Friday’s happy hour she’ll drag you into the men’s room handicap stall and perform acts on you that are technically illegal in Kentucky. She’s definitely getting the Best Supporting Actress Award from my boner.

It’s pretty much a given that Pixar will take this category every year they put a movie out. Let’s face facts: Even though what they do is animated, kid-friendly fare, Pixar is the only studio churning out consistently great films. While the Big Six have been using up all their development money buying up the movie rights to board games and bubble gum and random inanimate objects found in dumpsters, Pixar have devoted theirs to developing original ideas into meaningful, appealing films that reach across age barriers and speak to all four quadrants. I only wish I could’ve seen Up in a theater, in 3D, as it was intended to be viewed. But alas, per order of the Supreme Court of California I am no longer allowed to be in a dark room alone with children.

Achievement in art direction

Achievement in cinematography

Achievement in film editing

Achievement in sound editing

Achievement in sound mixing

Achievement in visual effects

"Avatar" (20th Century Fox) A Lightstorm Entertainment ProductionAnything remotely technical, visual, or effectsy will go to Avatar this year. Not that it will deserve every Award – according to some audio engineer friends of mine, Avatar’s sound design was like something lifted from an old NES cartridge – but because for these categories most Academy members are simply checking whatever boxes it takes to get their ballots in the mail. These are the “Star Wars” Awards – the ones given to the most bombastic, effects-driven picture of the year – and Avatar was undoubtedly this year’s Star Wars.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)

• "Almost There" from "The Princess and the Frog" (Walt Disney) Music and Lyrics by Randy Newman

• "Down in New Orleans" from "The Princess and the Frog" (Walt Disney) Music and Lyrics by Randy Newman

• "Take It All" from "Nine" (The Weinstein Company) Music and Lyrics by Maury Yeston

• "The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)" from "Crazy Heart" (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyrics by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

Can we please stop giving awards to Randy Newman? The dude’s not Vivaldi. He’s not Bach. He’s not even Andrew W.K. He made his name writing novelty songs like “Short People” and “I Love L.A.” Look, I hate midgets and love my smog-enshrouded city as much as the next guy, but come on… It’s like giving an Oscar to Weird Al Yankovic. Man, I want to punch this guy. T-Bone Burnett on the other hand is one of the best producers and songwriters working in what’s left of the music industry, and the music he wrote for Crazy Heart was better than any of the sorry excuses for country songs blasting over tractor pull PA systems these days. Give the man an Oscar!

• "The Cove" (Roadside Attractions) An Oceanic Preservation Society Production Nominees to be determined

• "Food, Inc." (Magnolia Pictures) A Robert Kenner Films Production Robert Kenner and Elise Pearlstein • "The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers" A Kovno Communications Production Judith Ehrlich and Rick Goldsmith

• "Which Way Home" A Mr. Mudd Production Rebecca Cammisa

Full disclosure: I don’t watch documentaries. If I want to see real life I’ll just look out my window and watch the fat girl in the building across the way dancing naked to Fergie with her shades open. But there were a lot of Facebook status updates from my pseudo-intellectual liberal friends about Food, Inc. and how great it is and how everyone should see it and how it’ll make you never want to eat food again, so I’m guessing it’ll be this year’s An Inconvenient Truth. Sounds more like the cinematic equivalent of a gluten allergy but whatever, well-to-do hippies will use any excuse to eat weird, overpriced, expensive crap from Whole Foods.

• "Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire" (Lionsgate) Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher

• "Up in the Air" (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios) Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner

Crom knows I wish I could give this category to District 9, which was probably my favorite film of the last few years not involving two girls, a drinking vessel, and a whole lot of love. But I think this is one of those categories where the Academy votes politically rather than artistically. Sure, Up in the Air was a critically lauded film, and starred one of Hollywood’s leadingest leading men; but it had about as much substance as those little bag of pretzels the flight attendants begrudgingly hand out on Southwest Airlines flights (just not to Kevin Smith). However this Shiny Gold Dude is not so much about Up in the Air as it is about Juno. When the bulk of the latter’s awards season heat went to pole-dancing screenwriter Diablo Cody, director Jason Reitman got lost in the curvaceous scribe’s pasty-enhanced shadow. Then Jennifer’s Body came out and made everyone realize that Cody writes about as well as every other stripper with daddy issues. Again, Up in the Air was too popular and well-regarded to not win for something, and this category gives the Academy a chance to vindicate Reitman just a bit.

Original screenplay

• "The Hurt Locker" (Summit Entertainment) Written by Mark Boal

• "Inglourious Basterds" (The Weinstein Company) Written by Quentin Tarantino

I will not argue that The Hurt Locker was not a great film. But was it a great script? The story was bare-bones, giving the film a stripped-down, documentary-like, naturalistic feel. Highly effective for the overall result, but I do get the feeling that Mark Boal could’ve written it over a weekend after watching the Generation Kill DVD set. Still, given the numerous awards the film has alread taken, and the great deal of critical praise heaped upon the film, The Hurt Locker does seem to be the safest bet of the bunch. Give the man an Oscar!

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/road-to-oscar-rest-of-the-nominees/feed/2Road to Oscar: Best Actor Showdownhttp://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/road-to-oscar-best-actor-showdown/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/road-to-oscar-best-actor-showdown/#commentsWed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000Last week we threw our Best Actress contenders into the Thunderdome where they battled with claw hammers and whaling harpoons for the honor of taking home a Shiny Gold Dude. ...

Last week we threw our Best Actress contenders into the Thunderdome where they battled with claw hammers and whaling harpoons for the honor of taking home a Shiny Gold Dude. But what of the menfolk? While the dearth of notable mentally and physically disabled characters means we lack a clear frontrunner for this year’s Best Actor Oscar, there were several testosterone-enhanced performances that caught the critics’ attention. However it seems the bulk of Oscar buzz has been directed at Jeff Bridges for his portrayal of country singer Bad Blake in Crazy Heart, and at George Clooney for his turn as corporate head-chopper Ryan Bingham in Up in the Air. But do either of these Hollywood veterans have what it takes to win? Let’s find out.

GEORGE CLOONEY

Ever since he got out of the TV business and started making feature films, George Clooney has been a fixture of awards season. He’s like Meryl Streep with a penis. Well, a bigger penis. Over the course of his career the hunky multi-hyphenate has received Oscar nominations for pretty much every category, including Best Actor, Best Screenplay, Best Director, Best Choreography, Special Achievements in Catering and Best Supporting Actress. Yet for all the accolades, Clooney’s only gone home with one Oscar, a Best Supporting Actor trophy for Syriana. Is this the year Clooney finally gets his due in a major category?

PRO: Few humans on earth possess George Clooney’s charisma. The actor has a preternatural charm previously seen only in a shirtless Patrick Swayze. If you are a man and you are in the presence of George Clooney you are, for that moment at least, gay. And if you are a woman, you are having sex with him.

So significant is Clooney’s dazzle that he not only made the otherwise forgettable Up in the Air watchable, he made it an Oscar contender. Not taking anything away from Jason Reitman, who is a talented director, but without Clooney, Up in the Air would’ve been as interesting as a two-hour delay on the tarmac of Denver International. But then two hours of George Clooney reading his junk mail using a bad Jerry Lewis impersonation would’ve been just as engaging, and probably would’ve netted just as many award nominations.

CON: Though Clooney slathered on multiple coats of extra-glossy charm for Up in the Air, the fact remains that the character he was charged with portraying was not just despicable, but irredeemable. In the midst of the worst recession since Hoover was banging interns in the oval office, Clooney’s Ryan Bingham is the guy who shows up to tell you that your family will be spending Thanksgiving at the soup kitchen. And yet, for reasons that are never clearly expressed by the film’s makers, we’re supposed to feel sorry for the guy. Not because he’s going to the level of hell where sodomy is administered hourly, but because this wealthy, good-looking, smug prick whose success comes at the expense of others can’t find love. Awwww… poor widdle frequent flyer. Nine months after you laid him off, my Uncle Terry shot his wife and kids before offing himself because he’d tapped his life savings and couldn’t make the mortgage payments. But now that I’ve seen the pangs of loneliness you feel after a life of banging random flight attendants in the American Airlines VIP lounge men’s room I just feel so much empathy for you, dude. You want some help setting up a Match.com account or something?

JEFF BRIDGES

PRO: Jeff Bridges has alread taken the Golden Globe for his performance, and deservedly so. With Crazy Heart, Bridges does for country music what Mickey Rourke did for wrestling. Ironic, since both country music and wrestling are generally enjoyed by the sort of pick-up-driving, gun-toting, toothless sister-humpers who only go to the cinema when there’s a new Larry the Cable Guy movie out. But the similarities between Crazy Heart and The Wrestler don’t end there. Like Rourke, who performed his own wrestling stunts, Bridges here performs all the songs himself and in so doing proves that he’s a better country singer than pretty much every chart-topping artist coming out of Nashville today.

But perhaps the most noteworthy aspect of Bridges’ performance has escaped discussion. Much has been made of method actors such as Robert DeNiro changing their physical appearance for a role. But this is the first instance I’ve ever seen of an actor changing the appearance of ANOTHER actor. Jeff Bridges’ acting in Crazy Heart was SO good that I actually believed Maggie Gyllenhaal was an attractive woman — and not a luckdragon from the world of Fantasia. And while George Clooney’s power to turn otherwise straight men gay is significant, it pales in comparison to Jeff Bridges’ ability to make otherwise straight men attracted to Maggie Gyllenhaal, as I was for the duration of Crazy Heart.

CON: The biggest problem with Crazy Heart is its lack of believability. Specifically, because the songs are too good. Have you heard country music lately? It’s everything that’s wrong with Nickelback and NASCAR put in a blender and served in an oversized Stuckey’s mug. Are we, the audience, supposed to believe that a multiplatinum nu-country star like Tommy Sweet would perform the stirring traditional country ditties composed by Bad Blake (which were IRL composed by uber-talent T-Bone Burnett)? Where are the bad puns and double entendres? Where are the sophomoric lyrics about pick-up trucks, eagles and killing illegal immigrants? Where’s the auto-tune and circa-1986 Def Leppard production?

Still, these are but nits for the picking. This is a movie; we can suspend disbelief for the sake of the story and pretend that there’s still chart-topping country music being made that’s worth listening to. Besides, Jeff Bridges performance more than made up for any such holes in logic.

ADVANTAGE: The Dude does not abide by George Clooney stealing his Oscar. This year’s Best Actor trophy goes to Jeff Bridges.

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/road-to-oscar-best-actor-showdown/feed/1Road to Oscar: Best Actress Showdownhttp://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/road-to-oscar-best-actress-showdown/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/road-to-oscar-best-actress-showdown/#commentsWed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000Today we pit our top contenders for the Best Actress Oscar in the metaphorical pudding pool for a bikini-clad, chocolate-treat-slathered Battle Royale from which only one shall emerge the victor. ...

Today we pit our top contenders for the Best Actress Oscar in the metaphorical pudding pool for a bikini-clad, chocolate-treat-slathered Battle Royale from which only one shall emerge the victor. As if that imagery wasn’t disgusting (and sexy) enough, consider that this year’s top dogs form an unholy three-way culled from the deepest depths of lesbian porno hell: Front runners Meryl Streep (Julie & Julia) and Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side) along with our dark horse (did I just write that?) Gabourey Sibide (Precious: Based on the Novelbla bla bla bla bla).

MERYL STREEP

Let’s face it: All Meryl Streep needs to do to get nominated for an Oscar is show up on set. Hollywood’s grand dame has been nominated 16 times and already has two Shiny Gold Dudes for her prodigious award mantle. She could do a regional K-Mart commercial and still be the talk of awards season. She could do a one-line walk-on in a Larry the Cable Guy movie and sweep the Golden Globes. But that doesn’t necessarily guarantee her the Academy Award, does it?

PRO: Thanks to the Food Network, cooking shows are sizzlin’ hot (zing!). So Streep’s turn as Julia Child was well-timed. And while Julie & Julia probably won’t even rank in the legendary actress’ Top 10 performances, Streep has been getting deserved nods for revealing the depth and complexity hiding beneath the iconic chef’s apron (thank the gods that’s the only thing hidden beneath Julia Child’s apron that was revealed).

CON: Unfortunately Streep only accounts for half of Julie & Julia’s two-tittied titular characters. And while her performance was impressive, it did not make up for the dreadful “Julie” segments. Dear Hollywood: Bloggers do not make interesting fodder for movies. See: Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. Okay, there is one exception to this rule — me — but that’s because I moonlight as a kung f ninja assassin for the Dutch government, not because I write snarky quips for the internetzes. Believe me, there is nothing at all entertaining about me in my Ben and Jerry’s stained tighty-whities, typing rape jokes between sips of Steel Reserve; it’s just sad and pathetic. And while the adorable Amy Adams did give the role of food blogger Julie Powell her all, she’s still the proverbial albatross around Meryl’s neck.

SANDRA BULLOCK:

When we look back on 2009, we will likely remember it as the Year of the Bullock. After phoning in 2007’s dreadful Premonition, the actress seemingly disappeared, presumably banished to the same island where Ashley Judd forages for berries. But last year Miss Congeniality came back with a vengeance and somehow managed to garner both a Razzie Nomination (for the abominable All About Steve) and an Oscar nomination in the same year. Which raises an interesting question: Is it possible that Bullock might actually be both the best and worst actress of the year?

PRO: Bullock seemed to take a shotgun approach to winning the Oscar. If she stars in EVERY movie that comes out in a given year, she’s bound to win for something, right? In all fairness, she did receive some good reviews for her work in The Blind Side, being called “unusually watchable” by one critic, “surprisingly pleasant” by another and “not at all making me want to jam a fork in my eye” by yet another (me).

CON: This is Sandra Bullock we’re talking about. She specializes in box office fluff aimed at eternally-single cat ladies — usually opposite some equally generic hunkbot actor e.g. Matthew McConaughey. It seems silly handing her a Shiny Gold Dude for the achievement of merely being less bland than normal. It’s like awarding vanilla the Creamy Award for Best Ice Cream. Sure, it’s fine when it’s scooped onto a slice of pie, but it’s still no Chunky Monkey (the flavor du jour staining my tighty-whities).

GABOUREY SIBIDE

Not only does Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (pant… pant…) own the distinction of having the most annoying title, it was — along with The Blind Side and Paranormal Activity — one of the year’s notable sleeper hits. But what most people don’t know is that it also provided one of 2009’s most popular Halloween costumes. As a matter of fact I was at the DMV last week and even though Halloween has been over for months several of the employees were STILL wearing their Precious costumes. Pretty impressive. But was Gabourey Sibide’s performance equally impressive?

PRO: Sibide’s performance as the illiterate incest victim with a heart of gold was solid, if not mind-blowing. But she does have a unique edge over her competition: Let’s face it, it’s not like Sibide’s going to be top-lining summer blockbusters next year. She’s a morbidly obese African-American woman. No one’s casting her opposite Brad Pitt in the next Doug Liman actioner. Outside of the occasional Oprah Winfrey Network movie-of-the-week and Tyler Perry cameo, Precious may be her lone moment in the spotlight. And I believe the Academy will reward her accordingly. When she’s selling Mary Kay ten years from now at the very least she’ll have a Shiny Gold Dude by which to remember her Walhol-prescribed 15 minutes.

CON: She’s up against Meryl Streep. Still, for the reason stated above I think Sibide will pull off the upset and take home the Oscar. Streep already has more Academy Awards that she knows what to do with and likely has not won her last. But unless Martin Scorsese decides to adapt The Jeffersons for the big screen and hand-picks Sibide to be his Weezy, this will likely be her only grab for the gold. She deserves it just as much as her competition, but the distinction will mean a lot more to her. And I believe the Academy will recognize this fact and reward her accordingly.

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/road-to-oscar-best-actress-showdown/feed/18Road to Oscar: Cameron vs. Bigelowhttp://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/road-to-oscar-cameron-vs-bigelow/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/road-to-oscar-cameron-vs-bigelow/#commentsWed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000BEST DIRECTOR SHOWDOWN This year’s Oscar nominations have been announced, which means it’s time to take the frontrunners from each category and throw them into the Thunderdome where they’ll wage...

This year’s Oscar nominations have been announced, which means it’s time to take the frontrunners from each category and throw them into the Thunderdome where they’ll wage a bloody battle to the death for the honor of taking home a Shiny Gold Dude. Alas I’m speaking metaphorically, though I suspect this scenario wouldn’t be beyond the realm of possibility for our Best Director frontrunners, Kathryn Bigelow and her ex-husband James Cameron. Yes, the directors were once married. It’s almost like something out of a movie, though not one either Cameron or Bigelow would direct. We’ll leave that to some hack like Mark Steven Johnson. If this were a Mark Steven Johnson movie the pair would spend the first ac fighting and the second act rekindling their love, followed by a big misunderstanding to kick off the third act that would culminate in them either co-winning the award or both refusing to accept it. Thankfully this isn’t a Mark Steven Johnson movie (too bad the same couldn’t be said for When in Rome, Ghost Rider or Daredevil). This is real life, which means on March 7th one director shall emerge victorious, while the other must suffer the indignity of losing to someone they used to bang.

KATHRYN BIGELOW

When I was told that Kathryn Bigelow was working on The Hurt Locker I was certain I’d heard wrong. “Did you say she’s working at The Foot Locker?” An easy mistake: While Bigelow was responsible for one of the greatest action movies of all time — Point break — she’d all but disappeared from showbiz after the Clinton years. Still, Hollywood does love a comeback and I’d be hard pressed to name a more impressive comeback than Bigelow’s. But is it enough for her to win Best Director?

PRO:The Hurt Locker is an actual good film. Not that Avatar is bad, but Cameron’s Dances with Smurfs should not be confused with high art. By way of comparison, Star Wars was nominated for a bunch of Oscars in 1978 but only managed to win in the technical categories — because it was up against Annie Hall. Of course in 1978 most Americans still had functioning cerebral cortexes so this comparison may not be apropos.

PRO: Looks matter, and Kathryn Bigelow is quite possibly the most attractive 58-year-old woman on earth. Cut her age in half and she’d still be over-the-hill per my usual standards. I’ve never been all that into post-menopausal women… hell, I’ve never been all that into post-pubescent women. But there’s something about Ms. Bigelow that makes me want to don the old ski mask, fire up the windowless van and treat her to an unsolicited romancing she’ll never forget. Believe me, when I was through with her “The Hurt Locker” wouldn’t just be the name of her movie, it would also be our pet name for her neener.

James Cameron meanwhile, despite possessing enough money to have every internal organ in his body replaced three times over, has not aged nearly so gracefully. While his ex-wife looks like the centerfold from GILF Magazine, Cameron looks like a half-melted stick of butter wearing a hobo wig. It’s like he’s not even trying to look ALIVE anymore. He has so much money and power that he can look like something that washed up on shore — say, a rotting seal carcass — and A-list actresses will still line up to give him oral. But that doesn’t mean anyone wants to see him on TV. His “I’m the king of the world!” speech was almost endearing in 1998, but twelve years later it’ll look like grandpa forgot to take his meds again.

PRO: Kathryn Bigelow just won the DGA Award, the first women to do so since… since… well, forever. That her peers chose to recognize her is indeed impressive, but it also must be taken with a grain of salt. Consider that most directors are male, unkempt and somewhat dorky. And that Kathryn Bigelow is a stone-cold fox. She’s like the cute girl in the IT department surrounded by the gaggle of mouth-breathing Poindexters. Those dweebs will do ANYTHING to get in her pants.

CON: She’s a woman. The male members of The Academy are huddling together on the glass ceiling, making sure Kathryn doesn’ break through in to their club.

JAMES CAMERON

Believe me; no one wanted to see James Cameron fall on his face more than me. Not that he hasn’t made movies I genuinely love. Terminator is my favorite film plagiarized from the works of Harlan Ellison, and Aliens is a bonerfide masterpiece. But post-Titanic, it seemed that the director’s ego had inflated like a hot air balloon and carried him off to the same land of oblivious delusion where George Lucas currently resides. That he was due for a face plant was only further reinforced when I saw the Avatar trailer, which reminded me of a videogame cut-scene, only without a red X button to mash so I could skip ahead to the end-of-level boss. However the moment I strapped on the 3D glasses to actually watch Avatar I knew that bastard had gone and done it again. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced, and I’ve been in a Tijuana prison on mushrooms.

PRO:Avatar is a game-changer, probably the first of its kind since The Jazz Singer proved that Neil Diamond could actually act. Or perhaps I’m thinking of that OTHER The Jazz Singer, the one that introduced sound to moving pictures for the first time. Regardless, what Cameron accomplished with Avatar belongs in the history books. Not that anyone will know how to read in the future, but at least the information will be there for our alien overlords to peruse when they’re not busy turning us into zombie slaves for their salt mines.

PRO:Avatar is the highest-grossing film of all time. In a utopian society with universal healthcare and copious leisure time, where art, love and life are put on a higher pedestal than commerce – you know, France – the amount of money Avatar made at the box office wouldn’t matter. But this is AMERICA, damn it. Our Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science is a professional society dedicated to advancing the motion picture INDUSTRY. In other words: this is business, kids, and keeping James Cameron happy is good business.

PRO: James Cameron is a man. And making movies — like getting married to five different women and cheating on every one of them — is man business.

ADVANTAGE: CAMERON

Kathryn Bigelow deserves every bit of the praise she’s received for The Hurt Locker. She deserves the resulting resurgence of interest in her directing talents, and she deserves the dedicated lovemaking skills of a younger man who only cares about her pleasure, and who happens to be wearing a ski mask and who owns a blacked-out van. But alas I don’t think she’s going to win a Best Director Oscar.

The Academy Awards – like the Grammys and every other televised awards show – is ultimately a populist affair. And at the end of the day your average shlub would rather watch a fantasy movie about a war in a far-off land driven by evil corporations seeking to pillage the natural resources of its indigenous people…. than one about an ACTUAL war in a far-off land driven by evil corporations seeking to pillage the natural resources of its indigenous people. Iraqis aren’t blue, feline-esque and oddly arousing to look at. But beyond all that, what Cameron accomplished with Avatar was more than simply making a great film. He brought back the spectacle, the magic, and in so doing reinvented the medium. Also, he is a man.

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/road-to-oscar-cameron-vs-bigelow/feed/3The 2010 Academy Award Nomineeshttp://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/the-2010-academy-award-nominees/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/the-2010-academy-award-nominees/#commentsWed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000This morning at 5:00 a.m. PST and 8:00 a.m. EST, actress Anne Hathaway arose from her hole and saw her shadow. As ruled by the laws of nature, this required her to announce the nominees for the 2010 Academy Awards.Avatar and The Hurt Locker lead the charge with nine nominations apiece. What are the chances that a divorced couple would be competing against one another for Hollywood's top prize? That just gave Nora Ephron an idea for a film. Someone get Julia Roberts and Philip Seymour Hoffman on the phone! Amanda Seyfried will play the daughter.Rounding out the super-sized category for Best Picture are: District 9, The Blind Side, A Serious Man, Inglourious Basterds, An Education, Precious, Up and Up in the Air.CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST OF NOMINEES AFTER THE JUMP

This morning at 5:00 a.m. PST and 8:00 a.m. EST, actress Anne Hathaway arose from her hole and saw her shadow. As ruled by the laws of nature, this required her to announce the nominees for the 2010 Academy Awards.

Avatar and The Hurt Locker lead the charge with nine nominations apiece. What are the chances that a divorced couple would be competing against one another for Hollywood’s top prize? That just gave Nora Ephron an idea for a film. Someone get Julia Roberts and Philip Seymour Hoffman on the phone! Amanda Seyfried will play the daughter.

ORIGINAL SONG “Almost There” from “The Princess and the Frog” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman “Down in New Orleans” from “The Princess and the Frog” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman “Loin de Paname” from “Paris 36” Music by Reinhardt Wagner Lyric by Frank Thomas “Take It All” from “Nine” Music and Lyric by Maury Yeston “The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” from “Crazy Heart” Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

]]>http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/the-2010-academy-award-nominees/feed/1Stiller and Downey Jr. Give Oscar The Fingerhttp://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/stiller-and-downey-jr-give-oscar-the-finger/
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/stiller-and-downey-jr-give-oscar-the-finger/#commentsWed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000According to Nikki Finke, Oscar asked Ben Stiller and crazy Robert Downey Jr. if they wanted to host his awards show this year as a duo, and the guys gave The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences' a duo of middle fingers. Alright, maybe it wasn't quite that harsh, but apparently they did say no. Maybe Adam Shankman, director of this year's ceremony, can still get the guys to hop up on stage and explain to the actors why you never go full retard. My guess is Sean Penn will have a scowl on his puss that could crumble The Kodak Center right then and there.

According to Nikki Finke, Oscar asked Ben Stiller and crazy Robert Downey Jr. if they wanted to host his awards show this year as a duo, and the guys gave The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences’ a duo of middle fingers. Alright, maybe it wasn’t quite that harsh, but apparently they did say no. Maybe Adam Shankman, director of this year’s ceremony, can still get the guys to hop up on stage and explain to the actors why you never go full retard. My guess is Sean Penn will have a scowl on his puss that could crumble The Kodak Center right then and there.