Next Time, At Least Bring Wine

At a Glance

Cards on the table...I have Bipolar...in spades! I'm trying to do this blog & an AUTHENTIC youtube channel. We'll see. I like to create. I live in wonder of someone who maintains the same mood for a week at a time. I'm into this adult coloring gig. Sketching. I am always reading. Novels, comics, magazine articles... I listen to books as well. I love my Kindle Fire. I am a writer of short stories and poetry. I have been addicted to playing Spades for decades now. No, I'm not telling you how many decades. I adore song birds and beautifully colored birds. I love zoos and aquariums. Museums, too. However, I have many physical issues holding me back now. That story will be one of many that will unfold as we get to know each other. I love water. So glad I live near a river. Oceans, waterfalls, rain, and I even visited Niagara Falls, flying overhead in a helicopter. I did the latter with a dear friend who I eventually ended up losing because of a crappy manic spell, during which I was apparently a crummy person and friend. This has happened a lot. I think I'm getting better about that because I'm opening up more. I'm working on becoming more vulnerable, transparent and real. AUTHENTIC. This has scared people off, but the ones who stay around, those lovlies have been solid friendships for years.
"Tell people a little about yourself" it prompts. There isn't anything little about me. Even when I was a kid, young, "little" girl, so much lurking, menacing. I think I've been Bipolar forever. I wasn't diagnosed until 2004, however. This was after a terrible manic, psychotic breakdown. In front of my husband. In front of my three year old son. In all of my life, I'll never know what that did to them.
This blog will have two authors. Hopefully three. Depressed, Hypo/Manic. And the third is the self who tries to remain stable, level and walking the line. I hope to share something that might help someone. I look forward to talking with folks, if they so wish. I want people to become educated. I've got a lot I want to do, and I'm sure this will become more and more tailored.
Thanks if you decide to join me in the this journey. Let's survive both the fear and excitement of the BP Roller Coaster.

It’s Really Quite Simple

Everything is right. Is well. Family safe. Getting to know my sister again. Friends and I are talking. Household chores and errands are up to date. My husband’s new job pays a bit more. Mom is able to walk with her walker more often. My cat is health and full of shenanigans. My son is doing outstanding work at school. I’m going on a great trip in Oct.

So… why sad? Not just a little down or blue. Like sobbing, wailing, wanna give up sad.

Because that’s part of Bipolar, and the chemicals that seem delighted in saying, “Nope, not so fast.”

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5 thoughts on “It’s Really Quite Simple”

That’s the curse of this illness. Everything can be good in our life yet we are depressed. The only thing we can do is talk to our pdoc/tdoc, maybe get a med tweek, and pray for relief. I hope things turn around for you soon.

i have to say it, hon. you know it’s not your fault or the circumstances or situation. it’s that brain chemistry is sometimes a b*tch. and not the fabulous kind you want to be sometimes when you’re feeling on top of the everything and all “bring it on world!” i’m wearing my 3″ stilettos today, wearing posh lipstick, smelling like roses, and going to have lunch at the IT place in town; no, brain chemistry is sometimes the kind of mean girl we all hated in high school. the one you secretly wanted to punch in the face, wished would have horrible acne breakouts, and do something embarrassing in the caf because she acted so high and mighty all the rest of the time. back then i tried to console myself that the mean girls would eventually somehow get their comeuppance. i realised it works better for me to ride it out and wait for my turn at being a fabulous b*tch and enjoy my highs. i’m sending loving (((hugs))) you way whilst you ride out this low, keep believing your turn at fabulous is on its way.