Deputy Prime Minister told to stop cycling

It’s dangerous, cycling. Especially in London, or anywhere in America, just read Sam’s last post.

But now Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has been advised by his security personel that he needs to stop riding his bike from his home in Putney, South West London to his place of work in the Cabinet Office, beside 10 Downing Street.

Apparently they’re worried that he’ll be pelted with objects or run off the road due to his new found unpopularity, which is surging thanks to his failure to hold up one of his pre-election pledges to students: to scrap tuition fees.

Run off the road? Pelted with objects? It’s all par for the course isn’t it? I doubt the bus driver who tried to kill me a few weeks ago objected to my stance on Britain’s gun-owning laws. I think he just didn’t check his mirror.

That’s a long ride through some shitty portions of London and I should know – I used to live in Putney, and I commuted to the Strand, just east of Westminster. You have to go up Fulham Road, which is posh but wank, and then you’re in Earl’s Court, which is crackville, then if you’re sensible you’ll hoof it through St James’s Park, but since bikes aren’t allowed, old Cleggy probably had to go down past Harvey Nicks where the traffic is truly cock. I’m amazed he’s survived this long. He’s probably made of titanium. Perhaps he’s the Terminator.