I live in Jersey City, NJ.Most people think that Jersey City is some exotic far away land (I say
that because none of my friends from NYC come into Jersey City to visit).But, the truth is that I have a quicker
commute to Midtown Manhattan than I did when I lived on the Upper East Side.My beloved neighborhood is the Jersey City
Heights.

Sober Healy on trial

How can I describe The Heights?Well, it is a gang ridden, 3rd
world country run by a drunken Irishman.Our mayor, Jeremiah Healy, has been photographed on his stoop wearing a
towel, drunk and reading the newspaper.He was also indicted for punching someone in a bar fight (yes, recently…in
his adulthood).It’s fantastic.Nothing matters to him - especially not
Jersey City.

I live at the top of Crip Hill (that’s right – I said
Crip).A few years back, there was a
drive by shooting in my neighborhood.A
week later, there was retaliation in the form of yet another drive by.I am a 4’11” lady honky who walks “with a
purpose”.But, I still get harassed by
the shitbag teenagers who live in the hood.When walking down Crip Hill, the stupid, fucking teenagers will throw
bottles at you from the top of the hill.It is their fun after school program.I hate teenagers.Period.I once stumbled upon a “girl fight” (do you
remember that “craze”?When 2 teenage
girls would beat the shit out of each other while being videotaped by a bunch
of onlookers - for shits and giggles, of course).I called the cops – from afar.

The Heights reminds me of a 3rd world
country.Not because of the faces that
you see.Because of the condition the
city/neighborhood is in.There is discarded food, dog shit and trash
all over the sidewalks.I’ve actually watched
someone just drop a to go container on the ground when he was finished with his
lunch.Classy.One Friday afternoon, I was approached by a “gentleman”
who asked me if I was “working”.I guess
the best time to get hooker love in Jersey City is Friday afternoons at 2pm.

Misty the hooker asks, "That money handsome?". Dr. Dre replies, "is that a penny anthem? Ha! I kill me. Just like you from the back, you'll see!"

1 comments:

Amy, I was hoping you'd read one of my entries and say hello, welcome me to She So Funny. But I will be the bigger fatter woman. I enjoyed reading about your neighborhood from your point of view. I love that you ended with a haiku. Have a safe day.