I recently signed up for an online dating website. I won’t say which one since I’m going to be talking about some interactions from there. S and I are still seeing each other, but considering he’s married it’s obviously far from exclusive. I asked if he cared if I signed up for this and possibly met some people and he didn’t mind. I thought seeing what’s out there couldn’t be all bad and may stave off some loneliness and boredom in having someone else to talk to.

Did I say not all bad? Ha! Here are some of my observations from only a week on there.

1. Strictly being a female with a face on the internet will get you messages. It doesn’t mean you’ll have any interest in who they’re from, or like the content, but messages nonetheless.

2. A lot of people claim to be fitness buffs and Utahns sure freaking love hiking. Sorry “outdoorguy1732,” was my profile not clear enough where I wrote I don’t go outside? Move along.

3. I’ve already recognized many people I actually know and am not sure I want to have this much knowledge about them. There have been many from the local kink community I’ve recognized too. They tend to show up as my highest matches.

4. Dumb messages make me laugh. This possible entertainment value was a factor in setting up the account and hasn’t failed me yet. One from last week- “I’m bored with life. I also have a kid.” Um, my condolences?

5. The men of the internet are short. Nearly every guy who has messaged me is 5’6” and under. Seriously?? I’m used to guys averaging 5’8”-5’9” but I’m far too self conscious of my own height to lose another few inches there. Unless you’re Tom Cruise. Tom, leave a comment and I’ll email you my username.