Connection lost. That show title sums up the entire episode
in two words. It’s both a literal referencing to the phone connection lost at
the end, and a figurative nod to the emotional connection lost (or misplaced)
between Elizabeth and Henry. And thus continues our Season 2 role reversal
train plowing down the tracks.

The episode started with therapy. Praise Scripted TV Drama
Baby Jesus. It was as awkward and uncomfortable as you’d think it would be. You
could feel the clumsy tension just as a third party watching through a TV
screen. There was weird small talk and they spoke over each other. Elizabeth was
trying to put him at ease, but it felt like she was over-encouraging him. He wasn’t too willing to open up. They
were both on edge for different reasons. It was almost like she was taking her
boyfriend home to meet her parents for the first time. They both told Dr.
Sherman that their work is collaborative and they’re on the same side, fighting
for the same goal… although I
think they were trying to reassure and remind themselves of that more than
anything.

I enjoyed the (blue filter) flashbacks because it gave us an
effectively quick update into what life has been like since Henry dropped his
soul-crushing Bomb O Truth on Elizabeth. They’ve gone from not being able to
discuss their jobs to not discussing anything else. Irony. Barbara brings it.
It’s almost like work is their safe way to talk without communicating. Honestly,
discussion of anything else almost felt superficial, like they were just going
through the motions because they felt they had to. Henry acknowledged that therapy helped
Elizabeth following Iran and, I believe honestly, admitted he’s grateful for
it. However, he’s coming at both situations from a different perspective.
Because nothing happened TO him, he doesn’t believe he has the right to be
affected the way she was following Iran. He’s just being Mr. Tough Guy, hoping
to plow through life and that magically his feelings will disappear. However,
he IS being affected and Elizabeth sees that. “You said you think about it
every time you look at me. How are we supposed to get past that?” It’s a
legitimate question, said with hurt. It’s ticking her off that he’d rather
bottle up his emotions instead of open up and deal with something that is a
significant issue in their marriage. They need to get a handle on what’s
gnawing at their “empire of two” before it eats a giant hole that’s too large to
repair. (Note: I do not see this happening. I’m just saying this is why therapy
is needed… and Henry needs to be an active participant.) I love the way the
scenes in Sherman’s office were shot: very slow zooms and pans were utilized
over harsh cutaway shots, and almost every shot showed either both Elizabeth
and Henry or one in relation to the other. A united, team front. Afterwards,
you could see how relieved Elizabeth was to hear Henry say that perhaps therapy
could be beneficial. She made an excuse for it at first and then melted when he
agreed he enjoyed it. It’s like she’s walking on eggshells around the person
who knows her best.. and that isn’t a way to live. I personally am not well
read on therapy, but it seems like Henry could benefit from a few standalone
sessions. Some of you know more about this than I do from personal or
professional experiences. Maybe his personal sessions will come down the line? Also,
nice to see Elizabeth has a Dr. Sherman therapy uniform: orange blouse and
black blazer.

Proof that Henry’s demons are eating him and affecting his
marriage: he doesn’t show up to the gala. In fact, he lied to Elizabeth about
why he couldn’t attend. Dressed in her gorgeous gown (more on that later), she
was understandably heartbroken when he said he couldn’t go. It almost felt a
bit like she was being stood up for prom. Of course Elizabeth was hurt and knew
something else was wrong, but she remained hopeful he’d eventually make even a
brief appearance, although deep down I think she knew that wouldn’t happen.
Later when he returned home, she was still wide awake, thinking, hurting,
wondering. Even though she needed him to be at the gala with her, she brushed
off her pain (yet again) as the event being “just a thing” when it was actually
something much more metaphorical and symbolic. It wasn’t just a work event. It
was an opportunity for Henry to prioritize their marriage and for them to enjoy
each other’s company again. Henry, being the Catholic and ethics professor, couldn’t
keep a secret from his wife and blurted out the real reason he avoided the
event: he couldn’t handle it. Yes, Henry lied to Elizabeth, but he also
couldn’t keep up the charade once he faced her. If anything, that proves that
Henry is still Henry. He’s just a bit damaged these days.

“I can’t accept what happened to Dmitri and what’s still
happening to his sister.” “Which means you can’t accept me either.” Ouch.
Elizabeth realizes the toll this is all taking on Henry and their marriage, but
Henry still isn’t seeing the correlation. He’s blinded. “I’m scared, Henry.”
She opened up and confessed one of her biggest fears. He acknowledged it, but
brushed it off slightly by saying he wasn’t going anywhere. Elizabeth is
desperate and terrified, and she’s not getting any reciprocity from the only
other person who can give her the acknowledgement that she needs. It’s like our
favorite couple, in the past so united that even a look conveyed an entire
soul-baring conversation, are now two people on different plains.

We all knew Henry was going to Pakistan, but what have we
said about sending a McCord overseas? I thought we agreed not to do this
anymore. Alas, it happened. When Admiral (I will always call her “Admiral”)
Hill first suggested the possibility of sending Murphy Station to Pakistan,
Elizabeth was a bit taken aback. It’s that wife/Secretary of State dichotomy
that is her life. Even Ellen felt the need to semi apologize to her for offering
the option. Throughout the entire conversation, Elizabeth came across as a bit
detached, like she wasn’t there in the Oval Office.. because she wasn’t.
Understandably so. Physically she was present, but emotionally, he thoughts were
on Henry and what this could mean for her family.

Henry packing for Pakistan was highly reminiscent of
Elizabeth preparing for Iran, but myself and anyone else with eyeballs probably
preferred Tamerlane prep. Back then, we knew she was going into danger, but we
were treated with what are some of my favorite scenes of Season 1. This time, not so
much. It was more methodical, with Elizabeth telling him to take a suit, etc.
Sure we got a bit of fluff, but it wasn’t real fluff. It was masked by Elizabeth’s desperation to dig
deeper and connect with her husband before he left. “You can tell me not to go, you know.” That was just a
line by Henry. Even if ever fiber of her being wanted to say that, she
never would because she knew he’d resent her even more than he already does. As
if continuing on the “nothing to see here” train, Mr. Hands touched and kissed
her, trying to get her to avoid discussing anything deeper than what’s on the
surface. She even pushed him away at one point (the will that woman has to
resist him), hoping to indicate that she’s serious. Of course it went nowhere.
Also, why did they have this deep conversation about personal and covert
political operations with their bedroom door open? I know their kids aren’t
spies, but getting their “cover with the kids” straight while standing feet
away from their open door seemed a bit messy. Let’s hope they’re both better at
being undercover spies. The one thing we didn’t see was their final sendoff.
Did they just do a quick peck and he walked out the door like it was another
day at the office? Were they even semi emotional like Iran? I really felt the
absence of seeing their final face-to-face moment.

All communication throughout the rest of the episode was
done by phone. Despite oceans and thousands of miles separating them, Elizabeth
still needed reassurance that Henry would not put himself in danger. “You need
to think of the kids. We need you back.” It’s her way of pleading with him
without pleading with him. At one point, Henry reminded Elizabeth of the Pride
and Prejudice Ball. For the first time in a long while, the people talking were
Henry and Elizabeth McCord: college sweethearts, parents of three, and two people
who have invested in and dedicated their entire lives to each other. They
weren’t a Defense op and the Secretary of State. “I will always show up for
you. Always.” Well just leave me here to wallow in my pile of goo feelings.
Elizabeth was just as taken aback, already emotional about everything going on
in their lives. This unexpected and unknown walk down memory lane reminded her of
who her husband truly is, even if she secretly questions it sometimes. The brief but
much-needed scene only lasted a few seconds because they were interrupted by
Jose. Eff you, Jose. Henry abruptly ended with “I gotta go.” By the time she said
“I love you,” he was already gone. That didn’t sit well with me. It was
actually the second phone conversation he ended that way, the first with just a
“Bye.” Even after the foreign minister twitter fiasco in the middle of the
night, Elizabeth managed to still say “Iloveyoubye” in one breath. The world was
literally burning all around him and he didn’t take the time to tell Elizabeth
he loves her? It seemed disjointed, rushed and unfinished.. which, I suppose,
is why it was written that way. When he goes missing, she’ll replay their final
conversation over and over in her head: they never got to say goodbye. From a
pure tragedy perspective, it’s like Shakespeare is writing this stuff. Can
someone please hug the woman??

Speaking of Jose (things I never thought I’d say), Mr. No-Acts-Of-Passion-Ever was the one who lead Henry straight into an act of
passion. The country was falling apart around them, “Flight of the Bumblebee”
was playing on repeat, and Jose decided this was the time to play “Where in the
World is Carmen San Diego.” Dude. C’mon. We knew this would happen given the
foreshadowing from the bar scene, but I still wanted to shake Henry. He’s a
grown man who can make his own decisions and could have easily let Jose go off
on the Where’s Waldo hunt, but that wouldn’t be Henry. It was a stupid and
(kind of) selfish decision, partly made by the ethics professor and partly made
by the former Marine. There was something that could possibly be done to could
help the world or his co-worker, so he did it.. without necessarily thinking
about the effects it could have on those he cares most about in this world. The
only thing I don’t understand: why not take the phone with him? He tossed it
onto the desk. Don’t you think you’d want some sort of lifeline as you go off
into a coup?

As all of this was going on, Elizabeth was left to watch the
chaos play out from the other side of the world, exactly like Henry had to do
during Tamerlane. She’s the person who knows some of the world’s deepest
secrets, yet she has no idea where her husband is. “I’ve been assured they’ll
be brought to safety *pause* once they’re located.” Standing in the Oval
Office, Elizabeth was going through the motions of being Secretary of State
while internally panicking as a wife. Before Conrad decided to send in the
troops, he double-checked with her, a signal to their personal relationship
that’s often been overlooked this season.

I’m going a bit rogue here and am offering my two cents that
no one asked for on the Henry situation. Has Henry been an a**hole? Yes. Is
Elizabeth a fragile broken flower? No. Does she realize he’s a bit broken
himself and that’s why he’s acting out the way he is? It appears that way. Are
his actions fair to her? Absolutely not. Henry is still Henry. He’s just
currently feeling the effects of multiple traumas. Even Dr. Sherman
acknowledged that. He jumped into a job he probably didn’t have the emotional
capacity to handle, lost his father and suffered potentially life-threatening
radiation poisoning, and he’s just supposed to suck it up and not be affected?
As a viewer, I’d question it more if he WASN’T affected. Heck, I DID question
it, and have been all season long. The fact that Henry is supposed to be
unaffected by this while Elizabeth was allowed to suffer PTSD following Iran
seems a bit stereotypical, the same kind of stereotype the show is fighting
against. I’m not giving his actions a pass. He behaved like a prick multiple
times. However, he’s human and trauma makes people do things they wouldn’t
typically do. I’m sure even he realizes his behavior isn’t acceptable and will
(hopefully and eventually) see the pain he’s putting Elizabeth through and what
he needs to do to address it. This is where the growth can come.

During the episode, Jay questioned why the United States was
giving aid to Pakistan when Pakistan may be knowingly harboring Jibral Disah.
Nadine responded that there are times you need to trust that you’re part of the
larger picture. Jay may not know why things are happening, but he has to trust
that someone is the key mastermind behind it all. I thought that was very
appropriate for this episode and this season, given the current state of Henry and Elizabeth.
Perhaps I’m not the typical Elizabeth-centered viewer. I’m watching the show
from the larger picture, so I’m taking in how every character is reacting to
things. One viewpoint isn’t better than the other. They’re just different. Kind
of like how Elizabeth and Henry are looking at the same exact situation and
seeing things differently. I’m trying to be like Nadine here and trust that
Barbara and her staff are putting Henry right where he needs to be with a clear
end point, and that it will all ultimately work out. Get back to me a bit into
Season 3 if this hasn’t happened.

We interrupt this serious episode for the dress. THAT DRESS.
I’ve been waiting weeks to see it and it didn’t disappoint. As if it was the
answer to a prayer to the ghost of Coco Chanel, I didn’t even mind the headband
so much… and I was verrrrrrry hesitant about that stylistic decision. I like to
think Elizabeth twirling in the kitchen was for our sake, so we could see it in
its entirety. I adore that dress so much, I made my friend promise it could be
the bridesmaid dress for her wedding. She isn’t even engaged. I’d also have to
sell a kidney to afford it and would be wracked with guilt for spending that
much on fashion, but that’s beside the point. One of my biggest disappointments
with Henry not going to the gala is that he didn’t see her in that dress. Your
loss, buddy. You probably would’ve gotten some M-rated fanfic action afterwards
instead of “brush your teeth, whiskey breath.”

Other things:

–Where was Russell? That’s two episodes and countless major
decisions he’s been out of the loop for. The dude typically doesn’t let anyone
order a ham sandwich without meddling.

–Henry shooting a gun was weird. Hot, but weird. I’m not sure how I feel about
the previews. I guess I want him to be armed if he’s in the middle of coup
chaos, and the former Marine knows his way around a gun, but it felt odd.

–More Matt and Nadine, please. I love that the secondary
characters continue getting little storylines that offer insight into their
lives. Nadine being slightly standoff-ish about the hug shows she’s just as
awkward as he is.

–That. Darn. White. Tie blouse. Is. Back.

–“Is that the Japanese place where you have to cook your
own food? Isn’t that like eating at home?” Ask any of my friends and they’ll
tell you this is seriously why I don’t like Korean barbecue or fajitas. I don’t
go to restaurants where I have to pay to cook my own food. Let me just sign up
for my AARP card right now….

–Burgers and bowling. BURGERS AND BOWLING. Season 3. Let’s
make this happen.

–Mr. Lying McCord not going to Elizabeth’s gala meant we
didn’t see a tuxedo-ed Henry. I’m hoping we’ll see a tuxedo-ed Tim for the
White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday.

–“I love you so don’t die on me, OK?” Gah. Just let me
think about that line for the next week. Thanks, preview editors. Also, once
Henry returns, gets help and is back mentally, he better make up this entire
season to Elizabeth.. and I’m hoping we get to see it.