Lincoln Bedroom at White House Destroyed by President Bush!

Scott McClellan, one-time Press Secretary to President Bush, has just released a book, 'What Happened.'

The book strongly denounces President Bush and indicating that the U.S. invasion of Iraq was fabricated by distortions by Mr. Bush directed to the American people. Implicated also, is the 'Bunker Boy,' Dick Cheney, Vice President, whom we keep asking, "is he still alive?"; and former advisor to Mr. Bush, Karl Rove, conveniently, now a paid political commentator.

We ask: Do these people ever do any real work, including Mr. Bush?

Of course, the White House denied all allegations and expressed disappointment in McClellan's point of view. However, we learned that President Bush was so enraged that the White House no longer has the Lincoln Bedroom!

It looked as if the most desired overnight room in Washington, D.C., had been the scene of a mass murder! Bush smashed everything in sight and with a carving knife grabbed from the White House kitchen, right from the hand of Head Chef Louis de Phillipais, cut everything that could be cut. The President then found a painting crew redoing a White House room and took a gallon of orange-red paint and sloshed it all over that once-beautiful Lincoln Bedroom. Even Lincoln's portrait in oil, valued at $200,000 and done by Sigmond de Renfry, the famous French Impressionist artist, was slashed and is now unrecognizable. Sorry. No more Lincon Bedroom, folks. Get a room at the nearby Best Western!

"Son of a bitch...that McClellan reamed my ass, while I'm even still Commander in Chief," Bush told Laura in a stern voice, to which she replied, "Georgie Boy, they just want your touche over Iraq. It will blow over." The President responded, "You're just a dumb White House First Lady ass. You know diddly squat about anything. I'm history . You're just married to history, you Texas Tease. BFD!"

The President then had two stiff drinks of bourbon and fell off to sleep.