i cheated on my bf then he took me out to dinner and talked about his ex and i cried

i do try to be really good to my current bf, i cook for him. but he doesn't like my body or my physical features. i feel so bad he didn't call me one night.. i thought he was cheating on me. so i cheated on him with this really hot guy who lives close to me. the sex wasn't that great. the whole time i miss my bf. i felt so bad. i feel my bf is neglecting me. doesn't want a future with me. so i slept with someone else. then today he took me out for dinner... and when he talked about his ex. i felt like he was in love with her still. i tried to hold in my tears. but i couldn't. so i walked away.. and i started crying. when i came back i tried to look all happy. he's like is something wrong.. then i started crying again. i just want him to love me thats all. and tell me he'll always be there for me. but he isn't. i feel so sad. it used to be so normal.. but as time flies by.. i want more. i realize. i want a guy to plan a future with me. i am looking for something serious.

cliff:

i cheated on my bf then he took me out to dinner and talked about his ex and i cried

He didnt answer his phone so you ASSUME hes cheating? and to make it worse you cheat on him without even saying anything. Yo logic ALL fucked up girl. smh. Cant fux with chicks like you. You deserve to feel this way.