Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Car tax is taxing

So it's the first of the month and my car tax has run out. So it's a trip to the post office across town to get a new tax disc. Not all post offices can do car tax. There's only two I know of in the whole of Peterborough and this is a city. Inevitably there's a queue round the post office and out the door. Then typically there's an old man at the front of the queue he wants car tax but also to send a parcel to fucking Australia and sort out his pension, check on various allowances, buy some electricity card and some gas cards, enquire about his premium bonds and finally hand over seven hundred quids worth of loose change from his old magnum savings bottle by the side of his armchair. There was tut tutting and foot tapping, harrumphing and the like. he paid no never mind.
The next customer was a lady who enquired "how much is the car tax for six months and how much for a year?"
A voice behind me muttered "It's on the fucking form you dozy cow."
While she looked in her purse. God knows why. She was counting the coins in there....... "no sorry I can't do £165 in loose change. Can I pay in installements?"
More harrumphing and tutting and getting pissed off amongst the waiting masses. Hearing this the lady gets edgy and starts panicking, she's not sure what to do now, she hadn't planned to have a million people standing behind her waiting for her to get on with it, she's flustered.For a second I thought she was going to burst into tears and make a dash for the door.
A shrill efficient voice calls out "Is there anyone queueing who doesn't want car tax?"
Someone answers "I don't."
"Well if you'd like to step over to the counter I can serve you quicker."
"You do car tax then?"
"No, but you said you don't want car tax."
"I don't WANT car tax but I've got to get it."
Oh how we laughed what a wag. He should be on stage.
Finally after 40 minutes I get to the front of the queue and then find out why it's taking so long.
"The post office is now doing car insurance would you like a leaflet or to participate?"
"No."
"We can also provide these lovely tax holders which come in a lovely....."
"No."
"Should you require personal life insurance..............."
"NO!"
"Or advice with pensions................."
"Are you for real? I just want a tax disc."