Pope To Come Out As Gay On Ellen

The world was surprised of the news that Pope Benedict XVI is to resign at the end of the month. But people are in shock to find out the reason why; it’s because he’s gay.

Born Joseph Ratzinger, in Bavaria, the 85 year old has finally come out of the tabernacle and revealed his true self.

“I have been forced out by other senior member of the Vatican after ‘evidence’ was found.” Said His Holiness to Italian TV this morning. “So I decided to let the whole world know before the rumours started.” In another shocking twist, The Pope told how he has been in a long term relationship with 63 year old retired architect, Silvio Rossi for the last 13 years.

“God knew and he has forgiven us. That is all that matters.” Said Rossi as he put his arm around is partner.

The Vatican at first tried to cover up the scandal, claiming infirmity and old age were the reasons, but have since retracted this story. The world has been torn since the news broke with many Christians turning their back (figuratively that is) on the Pope. Others have welcomed him with open arms.

“We have asked him to be the leader of this year’s Gay Pride in Bavaria” announced Gunther Sneil, Founder of Bavaria Pride.

The Pope will be sharing his full story with Ellen later this week and will be show on March 1st 2013, the day after he officially leaves the position.

Like us on Facebook for the latest breaking news stories.

Comments

About Donal Vaughan

Donal Vaughan is a stand up comedian. Starting in February 2012, he has toured all over the country and abroad. He was runner up in the 2013 Capital Comedy Club Competition, an all-Ireland competition with over 100 competitors.. He is on Twitter @MrBlueJumper.