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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Fear

I vividly remember that summer when my well-meaning
parents made me endure the torture of swimming classes. If I had to describe
the experience in one word I would call it horrible (^1000).

Ever since my little brain realized that one of its
functions is to store my memories, it has just stocked up on bad memories of
swimming pools. Even as a kid, I wasn’t very fond of testing my swimming
abilities in still water. It is not that I was allergic to water; I love
visiting water parks…the oceans and seas being major favourites. But I just
detested swimming pools. I feared them.

And fear is exactly what I am writing about today. The
dictionary defines fear as “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger,
evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or
condition of being afraid.” In my case the threat was imagined. But I was
definitely, positively and surely afraid of those blue depths.

While I suffered from a very mild form of this intense
emotion, other people around me are plagued by worse forms.

1)FEAR OF FAILURE: Almost everyone fears failure. It
is that one dreaded word which spells doom for most. Mistakes are looked down
upon and the guilty is often labeled incompetent.

What we do not realize is that
failure and mistakes are essential to success. Errors do not taint
achievements, they add to their value. No task in this world can be completed
without a cycle of efforts, failures and finally success.

2)FEAR OF NOT LIVING UP TO EXPECTATIONS:
Expectations, though often perceived as a source of motivation, can also make
our life a living hell.

Children are worried about
fulfilling their parents’ dreams while subordinates are always trying to live
up to the expectations of their boss. It is of paramount importance for us to
understand that we should just give our best shot. Nothing more, nothing less.

3)FEAR OF UPSETTING/LOSING SOMEONE CLOSE: This kind of fear is also fairly
common. In small amounts, it is in fact good for every relationship. But when
it takes unexplainably large proportions, it is the last nail in the coffin.
Partners tend to become over-possessive. Frustration creeps in in the absence
of proper dialogue. Such irrational fear often leads to a low self- esteem and
lack of stability in inter-personal relationships.

The list can go on. We know that fear of any kind hampers
growth. It might interfere with the psychological development of an individual.
In severe cases, the victim might totally withdraw from society. Ever wondered
why majority of the cases of child abuse go unreported? It is because the
children fear rejection and ridicule. Why do many women still not report
incidents of rape? Again it is because they are afraid of the society’s
reaction and the mud- slinging which often follows. Why do young people often
resort to death when faced with problems? They fear that they will not be able
to take it. They are afraid of what the other people might think of them.

But my question is, is fear really all that evil? Is a
certain amount of apprehensiveness not healthy? If we fear nothing, won’t we
become careless in all our dealings?

Why is it that a mother often tell her kids that ‘bogeyman’
will come if they don’t eat their food/ don’t sleep on time/ don’t bathe
properly/ don’t go to school? This way they are just teaching them to be scared
of phantoms in their head.

In my opinion, a certain amount of fear is indeed
necessary in today’s life. It only shows that we are concerned about people or
that we think about the consequences of our actions. It keeps us safe by making
us cautious. However, two things do need to be curbed/ changed:

1)The irrational fear which often comes to define
a person. No fear should be allowed to take over our life and control our
actions. True, I sometimes think that some ghosts might pull me off my bed in
my sleep. But I do not let such thoughts rob me of my sleep.

2)The society’s attitude needs to be changed. Any
kind of fear is not a weakness. The victim is not incompetent. It is just that
he/she might have had certain bad experiences which force them to be afraid of
certain things. They need help and support and not ridicule.

Fear itself is not the problem.
The problem is the subsequent changes in the psyche of an individual. The problem
lies in the attitude of the society which laughs at them. The problem lies in
the lack of communication channels for the victim. The problem lies in our
traditional way of using weakness as a synonym for fear and in our inability to
understand that fear is a rational part of everyday life. He who says he fears
nothing tells the biggest lie.

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About Me

At first look, I'm extremely normal. Well, I look the same at second look too! (They tell me I don't even look like an engineer!) I love each moment that life offers me, and the people it is filled with. Taking one day at a time, I believe in giving my best. A dreamer at heart, I hope my humble, non-important opinion can someday make even a grain of a difference in someone's life. Till then, it's me and you and our world of words!