I don't think I've posted this, but I've had a miserable day, in part due to my lovely teeth.

That nice 3–4 MM gap there? The one between my top and bottom teeth? YEAH. THAT IS ME BITING ALL THE WAY DOWN. MY TEETH DON'T CLOSE.

Anyone got a few grand for the braces I'm about to need? Because I'm gonna hear about it from an orthodontist on Friday before I get to decide whether I can fucking afford them or not. That gap is the product of my tongue pushing against my front teeth to keep a mouthguard in place while I sleep to prevent me from grinding my teeth into little nubbins.

If you have the option, get Invisalign braces. If your orthodontist doesn't want to recommend them, go see one that will give you a second opinion. I have had a very good experience getting my teeth straightened with them. So much better than wire braces.

@Oddbill, I was explicitly told by my dentist that my bite was a severe enough issue that Invisalign wasn't gonna fix my problem (she does Invisalign and isn't an orthdontist so she'd profit from me staying in her office), but she also told me to get two separate opinions from orthodontists too. First evaluation is on Friday. I'd be totally fine if it was Invisalign. At the very least, it's cosmetically preferable. However, my primary dentist doesn't think it's an option because I have both an anterior and posterior open bite.

If it were just an aesthetic thing, I also wouldn't give ANY fucks. But ... it's not. It's already impacted my speech (.... my "s" sounds are getting close to lisping) and will eventually impact my ability to eat properly. Plus my mouth hurts every morning when I wake up.

Edited to add:

Honestly, a large portion of my opposition to braces is vanity. I don't care if that's shallow, but I'm not-quite-25 and I only just started really liking how I look. So. Vanity is permissible.

To me the main advantage of invisalign was that I could take them out to eat and brush. No trying to thread floss through wires. The fact that most people can't tell they're there was an added plus. Hope the orthodontist sees them as more likely!

I was "prescribed" one of those mouthguard wotsits last year because I grind my teeth in my sleep and when moving or walking because of the pain from my back. I persevered for about 2 weeks before I woke up with the bastard thing trying to wriggle its way down my throat and choke me. Such a fun way to wake-up.

Also had permanent, cemented-on metal clamps wired together braces on both upper & lower toothypegs when I was a teen-sprog (for "had", read "forced at Mum-point.") I'll spare you the more extreme details but it was fucking horrible - one of the most miserable, unpleasant periods of my life and rejoiced when they were finally chiselled-off. 30 years later, they're still wonky with an overbite I can fit a drinking straw through but they couldn't pay me enough to endure that all over again.

Maybe you could persuade them into using those which are attached to the backs of your teeth? (Only just discovered these and have no idea about their availability or success, sorry.)

Found a few vids about them on YT but went with the corporate infomercial (sorry again.)

Whatever you end up going with, good luck, keep the painkillers/alcohol-based palliatives handy and feel free to kick the ass of anyone who calls you "Jaws" [flashback-twitch flashback-twitch] We'll all give you an alibi if you ever need one.

@IcelandBob You are far friendlier and younger looking when you have a full head of hair. I swear to InternetJesus that you look 10 years older (30ish) in your profile pic, opposed to the SPIT image on page 3 here where you look to be in your mid-twenties and a startlingly upstanding citizen. . . I am impressed sir.

@Oddbill gruffly handsome as ever.

And here, my newest octopus arm:(I go in for the rest of the line work in September...!)

i have a mouth guard for the past year, and it works really well for me. the first morning after i used them i already noticed a major difference in my mouth & neck. the few times i've forgotten it, or took a nap in a chair without it, i could feel the pressure pain in my front teeth when i would wake up. haven't had any issues with it coming loose & trying to choke me, since it's fitted really snugly.

just be happy you don't have to get your teeth pulled & implants inserted. been through that twice, don't need it again.

I already use a mouthguard, but it's the kind you buy at a drugstore and fit yourself. Because it's all sproingy and soft with a hard plate attached, I just chew on it all night causing MASSIVE jaw tension. Here's hoping the one I have to buy doesn't suck.

I found my dice bag:* * *@Erik: There's a heavily modified Muffler Man near me. His muffler is missing, as is his original head. A huge spherical rabbit head was put in its place. He stands outside of a marine store.