Be Successful with Your New Year Resolutions by Getting to the Heart of the Matter

Most people do New Year Resolutions wrong because they don’t focus on their real problems. I propose that instead of rehashing the trite New Year resolutions we’ve had in the past, with this coming year, we ought to get to the heart of the matter – healing ourselves first.

Only through our personal healing will we be successful at achieving, attaining, or acquiring that which we truly wish for ourselves. This could mean anything from health to romance.

Before we can have our ideal weight, dream job, soul-mate (whatever your New Year resolution may be), we need to address the deeper reason why such a thing has eluded us thus far.

For example, a person might have a New Year resolution of, “I will lose 20 pounds this year.” First, such a promise is destined to be unsuccessful because there is no accompanying action plan. A better declaration might be, “I will lose 20 pounds this year by following the Paleo Diet and working out 2x a week.” This resolution is a bit better than the original because the person has an idea of how they will go about achieving it, but in my long experience as a fitness professional, at some point, this too will flop.

The reason it will fail is because I believe neither food nor weight is the problem. It is much deeper than that.

The difficulty lies within the person’s belief system and past experiences which continue to cloud their judgement.

These factors play into every thought, decision, and action. Therefore dooming their well-intended promise.

There are many reasons, be it limiting self-beliefs and / or past traumatic experiences that are causing this person in our example to eat excessively. Abuse of some sort is a very real reason many women have weight and self-image issues. Whatever the ordeal, this is the sense behind much of their actions preventing them from seeing real success with weight loss or getting healthier.

In this example, to get to the heart of the matter the person needs to find out what happened in their past that made them turn to food for comfort and then they need to heal that part of them. Also, they need to create new beliefs that will help them make better choices when it comes to food and their health in the future.

It’s true that some people have genetic precursors that may bring about poorer health. But, in many instances — especially the older you get — the less your genes matter and the more your lifestyle choices will affect your overall health.

So then, one must ask themselves:

Why do I make poor choices when it comes to my health when I know that I have “such and such” in my family genes?

What is really influencing my actions — shadowing my every move — where I end up not doing what is best for me?

When the heart of the matter is addressed — that being the main reason behind the destructive behavior — the unwanted symptoms (being over-weight, unhappiness at work, loneliness, etc.) will work itself out.

By healing their personal beliefs and related past experiences, people will fall into their ideal weight, find their true companions, and start doing more of the things they love because now their thoughts, decisions, and actions support these goals. Whereas before, they would basically self-sabotage — without wanting or meaning to of course.

Healing ourselves is not an overnight process. Since many of our “hurts” have been around for decades, there are many “legs” as it were that are holding up our table of issues. But, if we want to be successful at any New Year resolution or life for that matter, healing ourselves should be our primary goal.

If you decide to get to the heart of the matter of your personal issues here is a 5 step action plan to get you on your way.

1. Make a list of the things you wish you could change about yourself.

2. Write out the reasons why you think you don’t have those things.

What choices did you make in life or continue to make that prevent you from having _________________?

What kind of beliefs do you repeat in your head that stop you from getting _________________?

How old were you when you decided you could never have _________________?

3. Take those “reasons” and get to the heart of the matter.

Write down what happened in the past that contributed to you creating a limiting belief which altered your behavior in some way to lead you to your current situation.

What moment — little or big — can you remember where after it happened, it tainted every decision you made about life or something in particular like men, money, or your self-image?

4. Find people you trust to help you.

Seek out people who you believe suffered the same trauma, experienced a similar block, and / or limiting belief, and somehow overcame it. Then, do the same thing.

We are all unique, but many of our experiences are similar — there are people who have gone through what you went through. Reach out to them, read their memoirs, and learn how they changed their lives for the better. Then follow their example.

5. Put in the work of healing yourself.

Self-analysis and basically “owning your sh*t” is hard work. Unearthing deep buried pain is a messy business, but once you have done your self-healing, you will find New Year resolutions more easily attainable and life more fulfilling.