Exploration

Over the last two days, some… odd pictures of the President and his new appointees have made the rounds. Here they are:

I could use some cheering up, so if you’d like to help out, write funny captions for one or both pictures. Extra credit for captions that don’t make sex jokes. (Anything really foul will be deleted. You have been warned.)

For those who wish to contribute two captions, I think we’ll be daringly original and refer to the first picture (of Bush and Rice) as #1, and the second (of Bush and Spellings) as #2. Got it? Great. Knock yourselves out.

Roumen wrote in to say...

#1 Taking to heart the adage that two heads are better than one, President Bush and now Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice have been surgically conjoined. Liberal America hopes that, combined, they’ll make half the man a Sharpton or a Kucinich makes.

#2 “President” Bush smiles on his first day as an Airforce One Flight Attendant Trainee, a proud day for him, as “Vice President” Cheney has never afforded him such responsibility.

Jeff wrote in to say...

#1 Rice – “Oooh! I need some new furniture, that tacky carpet in the oval office has to go, and we’ll need to replace all those pictures of former Presidents with pictures of my favorite person.. Me!”

Bush – “She won’t do my typing, refuss to do the filing, not to mention the laundry… and we won’t go into what she said when I asked her to buy me lunch. Just what have I gotten myself into???”

#2 Spellings – “We’ll when we’re done leveling out Iraq we’re going to pave it all and turn it into the world’s largest strip mall complete with a Wal-Mart Supercenter, Sam’s Club and my personal favorite store, Dress Barn Woman! Oh! Don’t foget the tanning sallon, JC Penny, and of course for the kiddies Toys ‘R Us…”

Bush – “Oh I could have fun in Toys ‘R Us… they haven’t seen spending until they’ve seen me ransack a Toys ‘R Us”

Tim wrote in to say...

#1:
“Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it’s you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have the town, why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all
You’re gonna make it after all”

For #2: During a press conforence, newly appointed Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings demonstrates her new reforms for the public high schools. “Little bunny foofoo hopping through the forest, picking up bullfrogs and bumping them on the head!”

Nicole K wrote in to say...

1. Rice: “So in order to make sure we’re all on the same page THIS term, I’ll be replacing the president’s daily briefings with pictograms.”
2: Bush: “Yeah, I’m sure she’ll win you over, too, once you see her Mime the Gettysburg Address… Take it away Spelling!

Al wrote in to say...

#1 – Condi (singing): “…I felt so happy I almost cried and then he kissed me.”
Bush (thinking): “Let’s see, I know it was the Crystals, but I just cain’t seem to remember th’ year. Dear Jeezuz, what year was it?”

#2 – Spellings “…this little piggy went to Iraq, and this little piggy stayed home. Now, of course, the piggy that went to Iraq got flattened, just like bacon…”
Bush (thinking)”That’s cute, that whole ‘piggy’ and ‘bacon’ thing. I’ll have to use that in my first state of the union…”

Jeff Faller wrote in to say...

#1 – I wonder if she’d notice if I ate that bug in her hair?
#2 – And then the President told me that it’s from here down that he’s intrested in when looking for a woman in my position… Teee heee. So see, I don’t need to be smart.

Josh Leslie wrote in to say...

#1: “Wow, that wax dummy really does look like Condi; Madame Tussaud really knows her stuff. Maybe I can bring it around to some photo ops with me instead of Rice…it’d be about as helpful, and that way I’d save on hotel costs…”

ghola wrote in to say...

#1 (Bush “thinking”, well… more like: to himself) I hope she won’t ask me about Pet Goat, I never really finished Pet Goat…

#2 (Bush) Whoa that’s the same trick my little doggie does, standing on his hind legs like that… Wow! I wonder if she learned it from him… Wait! Can dogs talk now? I wuv dogs!

#2 (Bush) …yeah, I’ll smile, it seems she was telling a joke or something, why can’t I pay attention? Yeah, I’ll do that smirk I do…
(Spellings) So the Iraki prisoners were forced to extend their hands and then they were clubbed and had all their fingers crushed…

“How do you spell d1Pl0mAcY?”, Condi. “Hot damn! I bet she knows how to spell d!PL0m@cY!”, W.

“Well, you see just for giggles they had one prison come up behind the other with his hands just like this butt naked of course, and then take another step forward, and forward, and forward, then back and forward, and back and forward” W., “Damn I’m gonna have to slip in to the bathroom to take care of an issue that just popped up, but before I go visit http://www.dirtyabugradeprisonersex.com to view live web cams of prisoners re-education programs for a low fee of 19.99 hourly. Woo Hoo! Don’t mess with TEXASS!!!”

Charlie O wrote in to say...

Jamie wrote in to say...

Didja see the photo or Martin & Bush looking in opposite directions during a photo op? It was taken by a Canadian Press photographer.
There is a copy accomponying this Regina Leader-Post article with the following caption `U.S. President George W. Bush (foreground) and Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin look in opposite directions during a photo opportunity upon Bush’s arrival at Parliament Hill in Ottawa Tuesday.’ The photo looked even better in monochrome in my local paper — it was like Germany’s two-headed eagle.

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