Why would a group of cannibalistic inbred hit a McDs drive through when the chow keeps being delivered to them on their turf? Exactly! On this week’s menu: a group of young Reality TV show contestants and Henry f*cking Rollins in military garb. The latter will definitely give those inbred f*cks some heartburn. He be hard to swallow! When in doubt…ROLLINS!

THE LOWDOWN

We
shouldn't be here. - Nina

The original WRONG TURN is the
definition of a Cult Classic. The film was dumped by its Studio upon its
theatrical release and the MPAA didn’t help matters by wielding the axe hard on
its TV Spots and Trailers – hurting its promo in the process. Since then (2003
that is) the flick found its audience on DVD and is considered by many (this
dink
included) to be a groovy little genre gem.

Which brings me to the STD
sequel WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END that’s being unleashed upon us on October 9, 2007. Color me red and call me a slab of dead pork; what a
surprise! What could’ve easily been another heartless cash-in, shelf polluter wound
up being a solid sequel that knew which buttons to push to satisfy. It was as
good if not a tad more amusing than the original. Who knew! As cooked up by Chef Joe Lynch and screenwriter Turi Meyer, this bowl of grisly and chunky
“how to make a good STD sequel” chili went a little bit like this:

INGREDIENTS:

2
tablespoons of extreme, creative and outlandish gore gags that kept slapping a
smug smile on my smug mug.
2 cups of tongue in cheek humor that made the whole go down smoother than hooker
ass.

1/4 cup of
slyly expanding on the inbred clan from the original; giving them more screen
time and more interaction between them; hence more personality.
2 tablespoons of disposable “victims” that I couldn’t always predict as to when
they’d check out. That jive added to the oomph of the body count.

2 cups of
taking a “Reality TV Show” angle and actually managing to make it enjoyable and
fresh as opposed to played out and lame. Lets face it the “Reality TV Show”
device in films usually sucks Giraffe balls.

Stir all that
within a human skull with the top lopped off i.e. cannibal made bowl. Then throw the
mix hard against a wall; watch it stream down till it hits the floor and
yup; you've got a hefty serving of Wrong turn 2; a STD sequel with heart, balls and a sick sense of
humor that kept rubbing me the right way (wait till you what the vegan dame has
to go through… he he he).

Granted the
film was far from original story wise; clichés within the “inbred” subgenre were
plenty. Furthermore the eye popping action/stalk set pieces that I so relished
in the first one were mostly absent here; lower budget = more down and dirty
approach, for better and for worse. Finally some of the lead characters were
annoying as hell (Jonesy anyone?) but at least it made the cheers I yelped out
when they bought the farm count two fold. All in all; Wrong Turn 2 was what it
was and proud of it. A fun, hilarious, blood-spattered and shamelessly
exploitive ride that aimed to divert and succeeded it at it in spades. Bring on
Wrong Turn 3 (and Joe Lynch at the helm)! I’m there with a necklace made of ears
on!

GORE

Yup it’s one them of cases of “I don’t want to spoil the gags for ya, because they’re half of the fun”. All you need to know is that the film goes all out with graphic, gooey and inventive kills.

ACTING

Erica Leerhsen (Nina) did a fine job as the cold bitch that segues into Ellen Ripley territory. She was easy on the eyes too! Henry Rollins (Dale Murphy) stole the show as the ex military dude that goes buck wild when push comes to shove. He was also so damn credible as a high octane Reality TV Show host as well. His bits had me in stitches! Texas Battle (Jake) fit the bill as the morally challenged jock. Daniella Alonso (Amber) was credible as the butch-ish, no bull lesbo; kicking butt like a PMS-er gone wrong!

T & A

Crystal Lowe shows us her oh so squeezable ta-tas and her G-Stringed decorated butt. No complaints from me! The ladies get Henry Rollins being the great f*cking man that he is.

DIRECTING

Joe Lynch’s visual style echoed the heart of the film; axed on fun, energy, a clip pace and humor. Fairly kinetic and rolling out fast and smooth; the lad delivered a horror party movie that well…DELIVERED!

SOUNDTRACK

We get some tacky 80’s ditty that worked wonders for the scene in question and the somber; low key score did the trick like a trick earning that dime by giving out tricks.

BOTTOM LINE

Paycheck filmmakers take note! This is how you make a rocking STD sequel to a theatrical release! True to itself, unapologetic, smutty, gruesome and amusing; Wrong Turn 2 was a hoot and half! It was 4AM when I watched it; I was dead tired and fairly plastered but yet, I stayed awake for the whole thing; too busy having a blast to go count dead sheep. Sure, narrative wise; we’ve been there and done that and some of the characters irritated the heck out of me; but the film wore its “f*ck you”, lets get down” badge so proudly that its flaws hardly affected me. Tight!