Castle Guide

About Us

A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone.
ایمام سیزدهم

Mailbag – The Pancetta Menace

Doc, I think the Estudiante Medico Pequeño is on to something. That planet’s not just meat – that’s sweet, sweet bacon (pbuh)!

That makes me curious, though – as a cardiologist, are you allowed to like bacon? On the one hand, bacon is the easiest way to prove that God loves us and wants us to be happy. On the other hand, I’ve heard that it’s fashionable among you sawbones’ these days to frown on bacon as a recommended base of the food pyramid.

Yeah, you are right, though I don’t think that Tatooine looks like any ordinary bacon, but rather it looks a lot like sweet, delicious pancetta.

Now regarding the vast cardiovascular-breakfast-meat industrial complex. Dr. J. loves bacon but eats it sparingly. The lil med student, who is rail thin, loves the stuff and eats quite a bit of it.

Bacon itself is not evil. The problem is that unhealthy choices can cause weight gain, and concomitant metabolic changes (diabetes, and high triglycerides). Cholesterol can go up with weight gain as well. Reasonable dietary cholesterol intake is not unreasonable, it’s the calories that are the real issue. Diet and exercise lower triglycerides and raises good cholesterol but significant weight loss (if needed) and eating bark and twigs is what it takes to lower bad cholesterol.

About Dr. J.

Dr. J. was born the son of a New Atlantean sharecropper who cornered the market on notoriously delicious seaweed Himanthalia elongata (popularly known as Thongweed). With his newly minted seaweed fortune, Mr. J. the Elder sent his son to attend the Academy of Sorcery, Alchemy and Surgery where the good doctor apprenticed with the finest sorcerer surgeons in New Atlantis.Dr. J.'s areas of expertise grew to include bleeding, cutting for stone, trephination, medical divination with outstanding spatial and temporal resolution, cybernetic sorcery and medicinal alchemy. When King Orin of Atlantis fell ill with the Ick, Dr. J. stepped in with an elixir he devised from a combination of minerals, herbs and saps. Curing the king, Dr. J. gained significant notoriety which afforded him the luxury of time to devote himself to his side hobbies which include porpoise racing, the study of supply-side economics, cooking and raising his lovely merchildren alongside his lovely bride the archconservative Mrs. Dr. J.