CHAPTER LVII - WHICH TREATS OF HOW DON QUIXOTE TOOK LEAVE OF THE DUKE, AND OF WHAT
FOLLOWED WITH THE WITTY AND IMPUDENT ALTISIDORA, ONE OF THE DUCHESS'S DAMSELS

Don Quixote now felt it right to quit a life of such idleness as
he was leading in the castle; for he fancied that he was making
himself sorely missed by suffering himself to remain shut up and
inactive amid the countless luxuries and enjoyments his hosts lavished
upon him as a knight. and he felt too that he would have to render a
strict account to heaven of that indolence and seclusion; and so one
day he asked the duke and duchess to grant him permission to take
his departure. They gave it, showing at the same time that they were
very sorry he was leaving them. The duchess gave his wife's letters to
Sancho Panza, who shed tears over them, saying, "Who would have
thought that such grand hopes as the news of my government bred in
my wife Teresa Panza's breast would end in my going back now to the
vagabond adventures of my master Don Quixote of La Mancha? Still I'm
glad to see my Teresa behaved as she ought in sending the acorns,
for if she had not sent them I'd have been sorry, and she'd have shown
herself ungrateful. It is a comfort to me that they can't call that
present a bribe; for I had got the government already when she sent
them, and it's but reasonable that those who have had a good turn done
them should show their gratitude, if it's only with a trifle. After
all I went into the government naked, and I come out of it naked; so I
can say with a safe conscience -and that's no small matter- 'naked I
was born, naked I find myself, I neither lose nor gain.'"

Thus did Sancho soliloquise on the day of their departure, as Don
Quixote, who had the night before taken leave of the duke and duchess,
coming out made his appearance at an early hour in full armour in
the courtyard of the castle. The whole household of the castle were
watching him from the corridors, and the duke and duchess, too, came
out to see him. Sancho was mounted on his Dapple, with his alforjas,
valise, and proven. supremely happy because the duke's majordomo,
the same that had acted the part of the Trifaldi, had given him a
little purse with two hundred gold crowns to meet the necessary
expenses of the road, but of this Don Quixote knew nothing as yet.
While all were, as has been said, observing him, suddenly from among
the duennas and handmaidens the impudent and witty Altisidora lifted
up her voice and said in pathetic tones:

Give ear, cruel knight; Draw rein; where's the needOf spurring the flanks Of
that ill-broken steed?From what art thou flying? No dragon I am,Not even a
sheep, But a tender young lamb.Thou hast jilted a maiden As fair to beholdAs
nymph of Diana Or Venus of old.

Bireno, AEneas, what worse shall I call
thee?

Barabbas go with thee! All evil befall thee!

In thy claws, ruthless
robber, Thou bearest awayThe heart of a meek Loving maid for thy prey,Three
kerchiefs thou stealest, And garters a pair,From legs than the whitest Of marble
more fair;And the sighs that pursue thee Would burn to the groundTwo thousand Troy
Towns, If so many were found.

Bireno, AEneas, what worse shall I call
thee?

Barabbas go with thee! All evil befall thee!

May no bowels of mercy To
Sancho be granted,And thy Dulcinea Be left still enchanted,May thy falsehood to
me Find its punishment in her,For in my land the just Often pays for the
sinner.May thy grandest adventures Discomfitures prove,May thy joys be all
dreams, And forgotten thy love.

Bireno, AEneas, what worse shall I call
thee?

Barabbas go with thee! All evil befall thee!

May thy name be abhorred For
thy conduct to ladies,From London to England, From Seville to Cadiz;May thy cards
be unlucky, Thy hands contain ne'er aKing, seven, or ace When thou playest
primera;When thy corns are cut May it be to the quick;When thy grinders are
drawn May the roots of them stick.

Bireno, AEneas, what worse shall I call
thee?

Barabbas go with thee! All evil befall thee!

All the while the unhappy Altisidora was bewailing herself in the
above strain Don Quixote stood staring at her; and without uttering
a word in reply to her he turned round to Sancho and said, "Sancho
my friend, I conjure thee by the life of thy forefathers tell me the
truth; say, hast thou by any chance taken the three kerchiefs and
the garters this love-sick maid speaks of?"

To this Sancho made answer, "The three kerchiefs I have; but the
garters, as much as 'over the hills of Ubeda.'"

The duchess was amazed at Altisidora's assurance; she knew that
she was bold, lively, and impudent, but not so much so as to venture
to make free in this fashion; and not being prepared for the joke, her
astonishment was all the greater. The duke had a mind to keep up the
sport, so he said, "It does not seem to me well done in you, sir
knight, that after having received the hospitality that has been
offered you in this very castle, you should have ventured to carry off
even three kerchiefs, not to say my handmaid's garters. It shows a bad
heart and does not tally with your reputation. Restore her garters, or
else I defy you to mortal combat, for I am not afraid of rascally
enchanters changing or altering my features as they changed his who
encountered you into those of my lacquey, Tosilos."

"God forbid," said Don Quixote, "that I should draw my sword against
your illustrious person from which I have received such great favours.
The kerchiefs I will restore, as Sancho says he has them; as to the
garters that is impossible, for I have not got them, neither has he;
and if your handmaiden here will look in her hiding-places, depend
upon it she will find them. I have never been a thief, my lord duke,
nor do I mean to be so long as I live, if God cease not to have me
in his keeping. This damsel by her own confession speaks as one in
love, for which I am not to blame, and therefore need not ask
pardon, either of her or of your excellence, whom I entreat to have
a better opinion of me, and once more to give me leave to pursue my
journey."

"And may God so prosper it, Senor Don Quixote," said the duchess,
"that we may always hear good news of your exploits; God speed you;
for the longer you stay, the more you inflame the hearts of the
damsels who behold you; and as for this one of mine, I will so
chastise her that she will not transgress again, either with her
eyes or with her words."

"One word and no more, O valiant Don Quixote, I ask you to hear,"
said Altisidora, "and that is that I beg your pardon about the theft
of the garters; for by God and upon my soul I have got them on, and
I have fallen into the same blunder as he did who went looking for his
ass being all the while mounted on it."

"Didn't I say so?" said Sancho. "I'm a likely one to hide thefts!
Why if I wanted to deal in them, opportunities came ready enough to me
in my government."

Don Quixote bowed his head, and saluted the duke and duchess and all
the bystanders, and wheeling Rocinante round, Sancho following him
on Dapple, he rode out of the castle, shaping his course for
Saragossa.