Archive for June, 2008

How would you know if your wife was cheating on you? If you suspect an extramarital affair, you will start looking for the signs of a cheating wife. Some of these are very subtle and can be easily explained, but when your wife is cheating, sooner or later she will slip up and leave traces that you can find. There are times when the signs are something that only you will pick up on and usually by this time, you are the last to know.

If your wife works at an office and all of a sudden, she starts to have evening meetings all the time, this could be a warning sign. If she has received a promotion, this could be the reason, but no one has meetings every night. Try calling the office to see if she is there or call her cell phone, taking particular notice of the background noises. It is possible she may have a dinner meeting, which will explain the sounds of a restaurant, but you do have to take note of how often these dinner meetings take place. When your wife says she does have a dinner meeting, casually ask the name of the restaurant. If she is hesitant about giving it to you, then a red flag should immediately go up.

If your wife suddenly doesn’t want to be intimate with you or doesn’t seem as loving as she once did is also a sign that there may be cheating. She can explain this way due to sickness once or twice, but not all the time. The lessening of intimacy in a marriage means that it is time for the two of you to sit and have an open talk about what is happening to your feelings.

Another sign that your wife may be cheating is a sudden disinterest in family activities, visiting friends or having friends over. This can tell you that she has developed other interests and other friendships that are taking precedence over spending time with you and the people you usually associate with.

Does your wife no longer enthusiastically greet you when you come home? If this is a change in her behavior, then it is cause for alarm. Does your wife speak in hushed tones when on the telephone and keep calls to your home short? When you check the Caller ID, you may notice that it is an unfamiliar number, which she can pass off as a wrong number. However, if these numbers keep cropping up on the phone, then you should consider the fact that your wife is having an affair.

When you do suspect that your wife is cheating on you, you shouldn’t jump to conclusions and start making accusations. If you want to work things out and save your marriage, such actions can lead to saying things that you wish you could take back, but can’t. The wise option is to confront your wife calmly and ask that the two of you discuss what is happening in an attempt to resolve the situation to the benefit of both of you.

When you start to suspect that your man is cheating on you, then you start to become more observant to see if you can pick up on any of the signs of a cheating man. If you have a best friend who has gone through this kind of experience, you can take to her in confidence to find how out she discovered the affair. There are also many online sources that provide you with details of some signs to look for. These include such things as:

* Finding lipstick on a shirt collar, which is the most obvious one
* Detecting the scent of perfume on your man’s clothing
* Finding stray hairs on clothing that are definitely not yours
* Noticing that the passenger seat in the car is moved from your usual position
* Finding condoms in his wallet
* Noticing charges on the bank or credit card statement for dinners or purchases that you are not familiar with
* Noticing that he wants to talk on the telephone in private rather than let you listen in on the conversation

Maybe he has been taking many business trips or fishing trips and you realize that the people he says will be with him are actually home. This will tell you that he is not where he says he will be. If the location is close to where you live, you can make the short journey saying you intended to surprise him when you found out that some of his buddies “bailed” out on him and you still want him to have an enjoyable time. This could be a surprise he wasn’t expecting - in more ways than one.

Working late many nights in a row when he previously didn’t work late or now seems eager to work overtime when he previously complained about doing so is another sign that he may be meeting another woman. You do have to be cognizant of any changes in his need for sexual activity. Maybe he is not as active as he used to be or is not displaying any interest. There could be a medical reason for this, which is why you should sit down and talk about it.

You may also notice that he tends to talk about one woman in particular more than usual. This could be a co-worker of his or a friend of both of you or someone you don’t even know. The best way to find out if this is the “other woman” is to take things slowly and try to find out as much about the activities of this person as possible. Just asking innocent questions could make him feel uncomfortable and want to stop the conversation.

You may resort to following your man to see where he goes when he leaves the house and you know he isn’t going to work. Check his cell \phone to see the number he calls most often or the number from which he receives calls. If this is a number you don’t recognize, you can use a reverse telephone number look up to find the name and address of this person.

All of these signs can give you the evidence you need to confront him about his cheating ways.

It is a traumatic experience to find out that one’s partner has been unfaithful and the experience leaves you shaken and mistrustful of everyone. However, there are support groups that specialize in surviving infidelity that will help you work through the process. It is also helpful to have good friends around you at this time. Many of them have probably gone through the same thing, even though you think that you are the only one that has ever been cheated on and feel devastated.When you want to get past the fact that your partner was unfaithful and move on, first the two of you need to have a heart-to-heart talk and get everything out in the open. You really have to discuss your feelings for one another and decide if you do want to save the relationship and start over or if you think there is nothing left to save and you both should go your separate ways. This is not a decision you should enter into lightly. Many couples do have a period of separation as they sort out their lives and go to a marriage counselor who will help them with problems in the relationship.

The best healing and way to survive the experience is to talk about it. The best resource is a person who knows what you are going through and can therefore offer sympathy and advice. If you do not have such a person with whom you can bare your soul, there are chat groups online where you can meet people just like yourself who are looking for ways to heal a broken heart.

In order for a relationship to survive infidelity, both partners must be committed to making it work. The discovery that one partner has had an affair is often the darkest moment and things can only get better when you start to reach out to each other and mend. The partner that was unfaithful must be willing to end the affair and to conscientiously pledge never to stay again. Both partners have to figure out the circumstances that led to the infidelity and take steps to improve the relationship by making sure that these circumstances do not repeat themselves in the future.

No two people can survive an unfaithful partner in the same way, but the healing process does occur in stages. First of all you will feel hurt and angry to the point that you may say things you will later regret. You do have to take a step back and look at your relationship from a different perspective to see where you can work to make improvements or if you did do anything wrong. In the early days after the discovery, you may not want to speak to or even see your partner because of the feelings of mistrust that you have. After a while as you start to mend your friendship, you can start to take things slowly and develop the love and friendship you once had.

When you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, there are ways you can go about finding out if this is true without engaging the services of a private investigator. You do have to be careful not to arouse the suspicions of the cheating spouse because this will only make him/her more careful or even angry if it is not the case. You may feel a bit guilty about taking devious steps to spy on your spouse, but it is necessary to alleviate your suspicions.

First of all, you should be aware of the callers to your home phone. If you notice that the list is always empty where it was once your job to check the calls and erase the numbers, this is something that will arouse your suspicions. If your spouse has a cell phone, you can devise a situation where you can check the callers on this phone and take note of any number that seems to be calling a lot or that your spouse has been calling. Using a reverse phone look up, you can find the name of this caller and the address. This is easy to do with a landline and there are free online services that will help you learn who the caller is. With cell phones, it is harder to get this information through a free service, but the cost involved is not very high. This is something you can do from home without anyone knowing anything about it.

You can also record your spouse’s side of the conversation when on the cell phone in the car. There are digital recording devices that you can easily install under the dash, under the seat or even in the trunk, as long as the microphone is in the car itself. Your spouse will never know it is there. It does not beep or have a signal light and will only come on when activated by a noise, such as a voice or the ring of a cell phone. Although you may not learn the full name of the person with whom your spouse is having an affair, you will hear enough of the conversations to confirm your suspicions. You do have to be careful if this is the step you take because you may hear unflattering comments about yourself.

Another step you can take is to follow your spouse and see where he/she is going. For example, if there seem to be a lot of evening meetings all of a sudden, you can discretely follow to see if the meeting is actually at the office or at a restaurant or even a hotel. When your spouse says that he/she has a dinner meeting, you can casually ask the name of the restaurant. If there is hesitation or questions about why you want to know that, you can assume that there is something else besides a business meeting occurring. If you do learn the name of the restaurant, you can drive by to see if your spouse’s vehicle is in the parking lot or even sneakily check in the restaurant, itself, to see whom he/she is dining with. This last action is very risky though, as you run the chance of getting caught spying.