Stir that succotash, will ya, Newt?

Well, I’m not a governor. I used to be the Speaker of the House of Representatives. I’m running for the Republican nomination, and I was wondering, how come I have to eat in the kitchen, standing up?

Oh, this is Iowa, Governor. Everybody eats in the kitchen.

Hang on just a minute, I can see that Rick Perry guy getting his picture taken with folks, and there’s Michele Bachmann signing autographs and what-not, and here I am standing next to some lady in an apron…

Right, Governor, I need you to reach over and stir that big vat of succotash on the stove for a minute. Mix ‘er up real good, will you?

Top: Newt Gingrich, former speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, eats before speaking at the Iowa Faith & Freedom Coalition’s Presidential Forum at the Iowa State Fairgrounds in Des Moines, Iowa October 22, 2011.

Right: Texas Governor Rick Perry poses for a photo with a supporter before speaking at the Forum.

Voice Over: Mr Newtwrong! The most dangerous and terrifying man in the world! The man with the strength of an army! The wisdom of all the scholars in history! The man who had the power to destroy the world. (animation of planets in space) Mr Newtwrong. No one knows what strange and distant planet he came from, or where he was going to!… Wherever he went, terror and destruction were sure to follow.

Apron strings, waiting for you
Pretty things that I could call you,
I want someone to tie my lonely apron strings

I’d be the best my party has ever seen
and I wonder as the days unwind
who will get your vote in time
Then I wake up to my
Apron strings, cold and lonely
For time brings thoughts that only will be quiet
When someone clings to my apron strings

And I’ll be perfect in my way
When you cry I will be there
I’ll stand up for you and always be fair
All your troubles I will share

For apron strings
can be used for other things
Than what they’re meant for and
You’d be happy wrapped in my apron strings