Thoughts and observations through the journey of life.

October 23, 2010

What's in a name? Sometimes nothing. Sometimes everything. He's 16 months and the youngest grandchild. We were at the oldest grandchild's celebrating her birthday. In walks the little toddler, comes over to where I am seated, points, and says "Pap-Pap". First time he's said that. And he hasn't stopped. Yes, I am loving it!

"Pap-Pap" is his effort to say "Papaw". And he's getting there. Today he actually got to "papaw" a time or two!

Almost every grandparent in the extended family got to choose their name. I did not. Our two oldest children remember my dad, and this little fellow's mother was less than 3 months old when Dad died at age 66 from lung cancer. He was "Papaw", and when they had children, I became "Papaw". What an honor!

Let me tell you a little about my Dad. It's been a long time and I see more clearly. Dad had an 8th grade education. He was the 7th in a large, dirt poor, family. His father was a coal miner. Dad was literally beaten and pulled out of bed one morning and taken to the coal mines to work. His father thought he had enough education and told him, "Boy, we've got mouths to feed." This was depression Appalachia.

Dad was a very good baseball player. That was confirmed when I showed up for my first practice in Babe Ruth League and the coach was reading our names. He came to mine and said, "Are you Ted Elmore's boy?" I said, "Yessir". He said, "Get out there in the outfield. If you are Ted Elmore's boy, you can play baseball." I started every game. Dad once had a scout from the Pittsburg Pirates tell him if he could get to Florida for spring training, he would likely make the team. But he was told by his father, "No boy of mine is going to go off playing ball when we've got hungry mouths to feed."

I went to my first Texas Ranger game in the old park with my dad. We were both adults. Almost every opportunity Dad had or sought to have was taken from him and given to another. I watched things in my youth I did not then understand. Now I understand them all too well.

Although many of his dreams did not materialize, he encouraged me in his own way. He struggled with being critical. I do too. Dad had an incredible gift of discernment and sometimes the flesh got in the way.

The stories are old and some are very sad. I do not intend to disparage my grandfather. He was a poor man in a very different and difficult time trying to do right and survive. My father missed opportunity, most likely because his father could not see beyond today's need. My father took it to a new level. In spite of all else, he and Mom made certain that my sister and myself did not grow up as they had.

At this season in my life, I have three temporary "jobs" that enable me to have one full-time salary without benefits. We pay for those. And I am grateful. But I know every day that my life can be radically changed by somebody else's decision and I have no recourse.

There are things I learned from my father that help me navigate this season of my life. I want to share some of those lessons taught by the original "Papaw" and I hope to communicate them to our grandchildren.

1. I learned to trust God. I watched my father in all his ways lean not to his own understanding, but in every way leaned upon God. Provision and joy come from the hand of God.

2. I learned the Bible was God's inerrant Word. I was taught that prior to the Conservative Resurgence in Southern Baptist life. I remember memorizing Psalm 23 and reciting it in church at either 5 or 6.

3. I learned the value of prayer. I have numerous stories I could tell.

4. I learned to do my own thinking. This is tough in today's religious environment. The pressure is huge to dress like, look like, use the same translation of Scripture, same buzz words, same heroes, etc., etc., etc., ad nausea. But God doesn't use clones.

5. And one of the most important - I learned that ministry that lasts is always personal. It is never about honor, prestige, structure, organizations, etc. They only serve if they are infrastructures for intensely personal ministry. Otherwise, they are wood, hay, and stubble.

Jesus said a little child would lead. And this weekend he has. So, whether "Pap-Pap" or "Papaw", the title is filled with meaning for me.

March 24, 2010

Each of our children are unique individuals. We could not possibly have treated them exactly alike, although in the early days we tried. But as fallible parents, we soon learned that God was smarter and did not clone. We would not have the option of parenting on cruise control. He had created these lives unique and had gifted them for his purposes.

Today each are adults and three are married with their own children. Ahhh...sweet revenge! ") (sorry, just had to say it). Seriously, we are very proud of each of them and have watched them navigate their own struggles, successes, and failures. And we are indeed very proud of them, their integrity, and even in the way they choose to move forward when there are reverses and failures.

I copied this from our youngest daughter's blog.

Fear

Wave over me, eroding the dirtCrash into me and break meO ocean, deep, and vast,I cannot know your depths.The surface is serene and beautiful, But in the fathoms below, the complexities of your being are far too great to number.

I stand in careful awe of your power and mightIn awe of your beauty and majesty.Do not hold back your power,O ocean crash into me and swallow me wholeCarry me into your depths, into the loveliness of your being

May I drown in you, in all of you…

"May I drown in you, in all of you...". Powerful words. The desire of one following hard after Christ. May that be true of me...and of you.

March 11, 2009

The rain is cold and very wet. It is also much needed. And, perhaps the cold and wet day has also dampened other things.

Hopefully I can be vague enough to not reveal identities and yet specific enough to speak to the issue. God himself knows that there are certainly enough examples, so protecting identities may not be all that difficult. But I heard it again today.

"It is probably best he leave the church." That statement has been uttered about men and women who (1) have failed; (2) who have alienated someone; (3) who have disagreed with leadership or someone who thinks they are a leader; (4) who are different; (5) who are hurting and having difficulty working through the hurt, the loss, and the faith questions raised; (6) etc., etc.

I intentionally ended on 6 because that is the number of man, and 666 is the number of the anti-Christ. I did that because I believe none of the above to be the biblical response.

I last heard the statement uttered about a pastor having some difficulty. I am aware that there are certain situations, especially in willful and unrepentant sin, where the church must discipline. That is indeed biblical. And, there are situations where a leader (whether staff or otherwise) may need to step aside for a period of time or even find other employment in order to refresh, heal, deal with issues, etc.

But "it is probably best he leave the church"??? For Christ's sake, what is the church for? No, not at all taking the name of the Lord in vain. Seriously...For Christ's sake! What is the church here for?

Again, I am not talking of one living in willful and unrepentant sin. I am speaking of those who find themselves in situations not of their choosing and having difficulty working through it. I am speaking of those who just don't fit. They may not be "cool, man!" Or maybe they don't answer to "Hey dude!" They may have different tastes in music, they may or may not reflect your favorite worship pose, raise hands, close eyes, or shake their heads. And if a woman, she just may not be able to wiggle her backside in beat with the latest 4/4 hot worship song.

Now for those of you just offended, unscrew your halo a notch and think. By the way, each of those are real examples encountered more than once.

One elderly friend of mine whom I regard as a true hero said to me a few years ago, "we are worse than I have ever seen us." He is right. It is very popular in some places for new member classes to require the signing of a document that you will (1) tithe (2) attend, and (3)not cause trouble. I've not seen an example of one that asks people to sign that they will be great parents, share the gospel on a regular basis, pray, etc. But we sure do want them to sit up, shut up, and ante up.

Just when someone needs the people of God most, it is best they leave! And we seriously are having conferences on why church attendance is declining in America? You've got to be kidding me!

This thing we call "church" is messy. It is dirty. The church is a light and all lights attract bugs. And some days, we are all a bug.

Galatians 6:1 says "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you are are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

At what point will the church wake up and although it may have to make difficult leadership decisions or it may have to discipline members, it will not push people out but will say to them, "we love you enough to walk with you through this situation to the glory of God." When? Who?

I was reading in 1 Peter this morning. I highly recommend 1 Peter 3:8-4:11 in the NIV. I was reminded that my prayer life is connected to my attitude and behavior. A few years ago when our world had cratered we reached out to a couple. Instead of love, we got firehosed in a lecture that basically said, "Get over it!" I listened, then asked, "can you tell me how?" The answer? "I have no idea." The antithesis of Gal. 6:1. Well, we did get over it and we learned valuable lessons and the most important is that God is very, very faithful and our validation is from him, not people.

My pastor friend, I love you. This post has largely been related to how people in ministry are treated by others when they themselves have issues. But it was broadened to apply to other situations.

I quote an old E. Tennessee mountain preacher who said, "The reason most of these churches are so cold is because they have a polar bear in the pulpit." He was right. Let's us look in the mirror. Are we simply seeking to have trouble free congregations or are we about the ministry of Jesus? You ain't leadin' where you ain't been, dude! (See, I do know a few hip words).

I recommend something. Find a place of privacy, get on your knees, open your Bible to Psalm 51 and pray through it verse by verse. We often speak of preaching verse by verse. I also recommend praying verse by verse. Let God speak to you. Then go do what He speaks.

April 28, 2008

I've had a couple of good friends following me around the past week or so. In fact, I suppose they have been there most of my life if not all of my life. I'm rather surprised they are there because many times I have taken them for granted and have not given them the attention nor the honor they deserve. Yet, they have hung on for the long haul.

A few months ago I found out that my prospectus had been selected as the outstanding doctor of ministry prospectus for 2007 and I would be receiving an award. I had no idea such award existed. Cheryl and I dressed in our "fine fettle" and trucked (literally - I drive a pick-up) off to the seminary. The award received was established by the Williamson family in honor of their parents, M. E. and Myrtle Williamson, who received degrees from Southwestern in 1926. Three of the sons and two of the grandchildren are also Southwestern graduates and have distinguished themselves in Baptist life. I am very grateful and have written to the donors.

This past Saturday, we trekked to Georgetown to watch Matt play baseball and for Andrew's 3rd birthday celebration. We all went to Berry Springs park in Williamson County for the celebration. Table and lawn chairs were set up among 1,000 pecan trees on the southern pasture of this park. It is on property settled by John Berry (great grandfather of Audie Murphy) in 1846. John had three wives during his 80 years and 18 children. I think it is safe to say he didn't spend time blogging! :)

Have you ever watched children play? The kids, dads and some moms played "baseball" (with a tennis ball). I wish I had the photo of the "Mighty Casey Cheryl" beginning her head-first slide (unintentional I might add) into first base! We kept up with Grace and Grant's games through the text messages of two of our daughters. We were able to all be included even though all couldn't be physically present.

Oh - I almost forgot. Those two friends. They were there. They are always there. Goodness and Mercy. Doesn't Psalm 23:6 promise, "goodness and mercy shall follow you all the days of your life."?

I thought on this yesterday and this morning as I caught up on blogs I read. The SBC's statistics show decline. The religious color commentators are giving reasons why. The BGCT stuff continues.

As I've reflected, I also reflected on those two friends, Goodness and Mercy, and whether or not we want their friendship. I do.

Every person whose name is mentioned on a blog; every person who lost their job at the BGCT; and every person still on staff in the SBC or BGCT is just that - a person. All of these people have families. Most have a spouse and/or children. Everything said has an affect, positive or negative on that family and those children. Everything done has an affect, positive or negative, on that family and those children. Trust me on that.

Paul the Apostle said, "...we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view" (2 Cor. 5:16, NLT). In v. 18 he tells us this new life in Christ is a gift from God, and in his theological explanation he said, "For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them" (2 Cor. 5:19, NLT).

That word "reconciliation" is a word of relationship. My two friends are relational. An inanimate object has never been "good" to me. Nor has it ever been "merciful". Goodness and mercy are God qualities and relational.

So could it just be that in a time of decline and in a time where accusations fly...could it be that in such a time as this that we, as people of God who have been reconciled to God...that we could look past the accusations and see the spouses, the children, the extended families and realize that we are never alone nor do we do and say things in isolation? We are in a world of relationship created for community. It is God's will that we not only be reconciled to Him, but also to one another.

Could it be that healing will come as we carve out space for these two friends, Goodness and Mercy and learn from them? Perhaps "Goodness" can help us treat others with goodness and perhaps "Mercy" can help us extend mercy to others.

This is not some spiritual "can't we all just get along" talk. No, there are significant issues and differences and they must be acknowledged and addressed. If God is not in the process, he will not be in the solution. We do not get "right" from doing "wrong".

I need my friends. I choose to walk with them and to stop evaluating others from a human point of view. There is too much at stake.