Thursday, November 23, 2006

(Grateful Tuesdays #14)

Dear Heavenly Father,

There are so many things to be thankful for. The extraordinary life you give, the rich, rich blessing to you allow to grow in my life. You have regenerated my soul! You have removed my heart of stone and given me a heart of flesh! With your odd mixture of mud and spit, you have washed away my blindness replacing it with a glorious vision.

Father, I am turned against you many times. I am thinking only of my self many times. Yet you send your love and allow it to flow deep within me.

I thank you for the wonderful films I've seen recently. Thank you that I can even thank you for these films. Some of your people feel guilty for watching and enjoying movies.

I thank you for the freedom you give us. The glorious freedom! Father, with your wind under our sails, our spirits can fly! We are allowed to dwell in your presence!

Father, I am completely undeserving of your love. Father, I feel that I am weak and half-hearted, even at my best. I can talk about you all day long, but I enter into your presence (or even think of it) far too rarely.

Yet you pour your love into me, like Multnomah Falls into its basin.

I thank you for my family and the love we share. It's only because of your grace that I enjoy such a good relationship with each one of my family members. Thank you for increasing us in love. Thank you also for my WorldView family and my extended family.

Thank you for the Newmans, and the present they got me. I'm glad we can joke with each other and laugh. I don't ever want to be in a place in my life where I've lost my ability to joke, to find humor in something. I really really want to write an article about that.

Thank you so much, my dear Father, for the Queen of Arts and England. Her friendship casts such a warm glow on my life. Thank you for the conversation we had last night and how she turns my thoughts towards you.

God, I've experienced some hard things over the past few decades, but nothing worth complaining about when you consider all the lovely things you have filled my cup with. Jesus, you are the best lover. You love with a pure love none can match. All the metaphors in nature can only hint at character of the love you have for me.

So why do I leave this love? Why do I... Oh, I don't know. I don't think I'll ever get the hang of living with you, God. I don't know that I'll ever love you with the love you deserve. Not here anyway.

You have restored my life! You have brought healing and love filling in the dry cracks. I don't know how to say it, really, but I'm grateful. And I guess we can for now just leave it at that. I love you (because you love me).