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Newton’s sausages

Continuing my study of the so called great scientists. Today Isaac Newton. Verdict – unimpressed. After all who cares about apples?

Gravity as it affects a packet of raw sausages on the kitchen counter is a far more interesting question. Due to the inter-connectedness of sausages, entirely possible that once one sausage falls they all will. Could sausages be gravitons?

If so, gravitons are tasty.

Tested experimental limits on the acceleration of sausages when making a rapid exit. Limits are: the slippy tiles, the turn by the kitchen door and the rug that rucks up when you run on it at speed. Otherwise

Vs ≈ vk >vh

Where vs is the velocity of sausage, vk is the velocity of science kitten and vh is just pathetic. Poor human.