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stride, his brusque manner and his
nicotin.e habits. No,, she leaves that
to the "mannish" woman.
She has,' however, adopted two
principal features of an. English chap
py's architecture.
She carries a cane and a monocle.
The cane is a dainty bit of lum
ber. It is fragile enough to reprove
a poodle with a gentle whack on his
silken collar. But would not figure
as a dangerous weapon in a riot. Not
nearly so terrific, for instance, as a
British lady's umbrella.
The reason for the. monocle can
not be easily explained by .the mere
simp on the ringside. Just why mi
lady wishes to install .a one-cylinder
eyeglass in one of her tender brown
eyes surpasseth understanding.
By wearing it she not only puts
one oyer the English, but she beats
the Dutch.
Most "chappyettes" are not adepts
at clinching the monocle between the
eyebrow and. the cheekbone. Besides,
continuous practice is likely to de
velop the "monocle squint," which is
as annoying as the "turkey trot
limp" and Marie Corelli insomnia;
So they let the glass porthole dan
gle from a heavy black braid, like a
heavy swell on Picadilly.
The last time a girl looked at us
through her monocle she gave such a
chilly glance that she frosted the
pane.
The "chappyettes" are quite par
tial to the new X-ray gowns. You
see, the monocle is not the only part
of their get-up that can be seen
through, Archibald.
.Mary bought an X-ray gown,
They told her that she daren't;
But when she wore it through the
town.
E'en when the spying sun beat down,
Her courage was transparent.
The best joke of the year on the
criticizing male, however, is the
minus-heel shoe, or "sneaker." For
generations men have been having
harsh things to say about the sky
scraper heels on women's shoes. The ,
jaifl -a"1 su nA ...onvi Lj&.i,xu
j abhorrent French heels were climb
ing steadily higher, like young Eiffel
towers, when all of a sudden the tilt
ing fair sex decided to dispense with
heels altogether.
Were the men overjoyed thereat?
No, they proceeded to denounce the
"sneaker" as ungainly and slipshod.
But the "chappyettes" and their
followers gurgle pleasantly and say:
"I should worry without a heel and
save my sole."
o o
DIARY OF FATHER TIME
The distinct characteristics of the
Russian people in the 17th century
were drunkenness, endurance of
heat, cold and torture, and slavish
obedience to the Tsar, drunkenness
in particular. The habit went the
farther since it was. encouraged by
the government and it was an offense
against the state to urge a man to
leave one of the state-owned taverns,
even" though he was pledging the
clothes off his back, a common cus
tom. At every season of public re
joicing in winter two or three hun
dred died in the streets of Moscow
as they lay there naked and dead
drunk, and the bodies might be seen
brought home by tens and twelves
half eaten by dogs.
I remember on one occasion seeing
a muscovite come out of the tavern
in shirt and breeches only, meet a
friend, return; and come out again
with no shirt. A traveler, who knew
Russian, expressed sympathy with
him as if he had been robbed, but
was answered, "No, it's the man at
the bar and his wine that have
brought me to this, but as my shirt
is there my breeches may as well
keep it company." And, accordingly,
a few minutes afterwards, he came
out once more with nothing to cover
him but a handful of flowers. picked
at the tavern door.
o o
After dinner in Argentina many
housekeepers serve, instead of cof
fee, a basin of soup, which strangers
And some difficulty in swallowing.