Friday, August 12, 2011

I used to post so much. Where have the days of blogging gone? The thing is, I didn't blog about anything exceptional. I just said whatever was on my mind. It did help that I was stuck on the computer for 8 hours at work with little work to do :) Dishonest? No, my boss was practically blogging for me. Now things are different.

For those who still check blogs, here is a chuckle, called My Almost Encounter (and it's sort of graphic):

I almost crossed a big line. Almost. So this guy came into to get a massage and it started out pretty awkward because I saw him naked. I knocked on the door and said "all set?" All set, meaning that he had undressed and was lying on the table between the sheets. He replied, "all set." What he really said was "not yet!" When I walked in, he was scrambling: bending over, trying to find something to cover, and also looking at me like get the f out. I was just so taken aback. I have NEVER walked in on a client before. *Disclaimer: before you say 'you hear what you want to hear,' I did not want to hear that. There was a speech barrier. He was Mexican (really, he was from Mexico). He'd only been in the country for a couple of years. His accent was thick.

I was really embarrassed to go back in that room. How could I? How was I going to break the ice? I was still laughing/giggling. I profusely apologized. Then, I apologized again because I had a case of the giggles. Anyone who has had the giggles knows that it takes awhile to calm down. Anyway, he was really cool about it. Unbenounced to me, he thought that I was really shy and flirting with him. In fact, he asked me if I was shy? As I was tightly securing sheet for modest draping, he said something like, "why all the modesty now, you've already seen me naked." So, that isn't okay, but again, I had the giggles- I was just trying to calm down. I remember trying to change the topic a trillion times like, "so how long have you been here?" Then pulling out the big guns, "do you have a work visa?" and "do you want to become a citizen?" Try as I might, it just kept coming back the naked encounter.

Finally the hour was over. Phew. Then, he paid and left. Then, I went to change the table over and he had left some unwanted fluid on my sheets! I was pissed. If you are going to be inappropriate at least do it on something that can be thrown away like a Kleenex. Damn the men who do that after massages on massage therapists sheets. Awhile later, I went to take the defiled sheets to my car, and low and behold he was sitting in his car out in the parking lot. I was very dismissive and rude. I left to make some copies and received a text from him. (phone number on business card- don't be getting any ideas). He was thanking me for the wonderful massage. In a moment of fury, I wrote back "I saw what you did to my sheets." Then there was abundant remorse and apologies. I didn't respond to his many texts for a few hours. When I did, the texts turned from apologizing to flirting. I just tried to wrap things up, but they kept coming. For the span of about a week, the texts kept coming. I would say really vague things and move on. In retrospect, I should have been very bold and blunt and said stop texting me rather than politely dragging him along. Admittedly it was a kick, to receive funny texts all day, until it wasn't. One night I got a close-up picture of his you-know-what. That was enough for me to stop texting back altogether. A few days later, after no response he was remorse and apologetic. Then like clockwork, it was hardcore flirting again, asking me for pictures of myself! Again?, I thought. He crossed a few lines a few times. As the adage goes, "It happens once shame on you, it happens twice shame on me." I wasn't mean, I simply said that I don't get to be treated that way. And it was over. Haven't heard anything since.

This brings up many questions: Does that work for him, sending naked close-ups of his manly parts? Do girls respond positively to that? If so, I am appalled and way out of the loop. People actually do that!?!(I do remember looking through my sister's pics on her phone and seeing some naked photos that she had of herself. I asked her- what? why? etc. She said that you never know when you are going to have to send one. So it's a good idea to have some on hand. Hmmm.)

Looking back, I shouldn't have giggled. I think that set it off. How do you control the giggling once it starts? Also, when a man asks you if you are shy, while you are massaging his body after recently seeing it totally naked, things are probably going in a naughty direction... It was a good learning experience, among others things. Given the right circumstances, I could've gotten into a whole lotta trouble real fast. Not to mention the legal complications, if something happened during the massage. But it's a good story. I hoped you enjoyed reading it.