This is a place that I use like and old fashioned diary posting stuff I run into, ideas, gripes, concerned, and exciting adventures.. Nobody reads or ever comments on it so I don't much care who finds it.

Huh?

---> I'm Thirsty... where's the water... I thought this was a beach...ARE WE THERE YET? You call this a vacation? Are you nuts?

Monday, December 26, 2016

My resolutions for 2017.=============I’ve learned a lot about personal loss this year. I’m now beyond the causes or the reasons and I have decided to move on without looking back. This year I want to finish what I started trying to liquidate the remains of our $100,000 MysticWays inventory business of Essential / Fragrance Oils and Pagan themed items. Lots more work on the new system but having the extra pocket change later will help our small family consisting of Me, my wonderful husband Sven, and our three critters.

I also want to get the Harley motorcycle up for sale on Craig’s List but need to research reasonable pricing etc. The place where the tree fell on the roof peak back in August needs minor roof attention that I’ll need to turn over to a contractor this spring. Meanwhile, there’s plenty of de-cluttering chores to do turning this shell of a house back into a home again. Maybe a Garage Sale is in order but here in Dallas you need to buy a permit or get arrested for not having one. Sweet huh? Also, have Sven’s baby grand piano to get rid of by either selling it for a song or donating to someone willing to remove and pickup themselves. I suggested a sledge hammer and the fireplace but that didn’t go over well. (smirk)

I also need to set up a fund for our annual city property tax of about $4,000 per year. Yes, it sucks but rules are rules and I guess it beats foreclosure or bankruptcy. Didn’t realize that it cost $333 bucks a month to retrieve weekly trash and recycling. Not much else they do for it. Something to remember even though the house is paid off in full. What was it they said about always depending on death and taxes?? Hummm, Yup…

Right now I’m in the mindset of “FUCK YESTERDAY” and focusing more on tomorrow. Stop using the words like “CAN’T” or “Maybe Later” and especially “I remember when” like so many other geezers do. Nope, today is today and it is what it is. Sweet huh? Solutions are mine and mine alone without permission or acceptance from anyone else.

Instead of going out to a bar alone and looking like a stooge maybe I’ll take a deck of Tarot cards and entertain myself with my own incredible talent to ‘see the unseen’ but no readings for others. Those days are massively over. I need to get back to messing with my arts and craft projects even if I finish and throw them out later. It’s my way of proving accomplishment to myself. Spending less time on social media can also be a plus. Nothing really good has come from it all except countless hours of typing. Shit, for that I could be writing a book or organizing my collection of over 1,000 CD’s and another 800 DVD movies.

Nope, I can’t change the world and there comes a point when fighting for change should be left for others. If they want D. Chump for president, then good for them. I’ve learned how to change my name twice manipulating the “marriage” system to my benefit. I will continue to do so legally. Today, if one of us croaks we can still get social security bennies from the other. I hope that doesn’t change but still. To all the peeps who want to take those equal rights away from me as they bastardize their religion as an excuse, I hope they have their own moment of time to suffer from their own actions. I say this without regret or compassion. If this makes me out to be a worse person to readers then I’m sorry for your disappointment but I have my own standards also.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

To my family and acquaintances who have destroyed my right to Equality with my Husband of 20+ years, I consider our relationship beyond repair and remove any memory of you from my life.

I am so fucking angry right now, I trust nobody in this fucked up Country. The people of the United States have shown a level of hate that makes me embarrassed to be in their company. But now, let's send more of y'all to be killed by ISIS so we can weed out more fools who caused this to happen in the first place.

FUCK YOU AMERICA! I have lost all respect for you and your twisted Trump Chump reality show... your wonderful ideas ignored the threats leading to 9/11. You started a war over non-existent weapons, you allowed Veterans who fought for you to be ignored and abused. You expect me to believe this is making America great again?? Really?? I have lost my faith in your diplomacy and I think the rest of the world has too.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Well let's see... money is horribly tight, my back injury from 2001 decided to act up, doctors are slower than shit, There's so much 'wait and see' going on that it's enough to drive ya crazy. Maybe things will finally get better and quickly take a turn.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

After all the horrible things that have happened to me throughout my life, I'm not really sure that there is a God anymore.

Burnt over 45% of my body at 6yrs old from a fireworkx accident.

Bullied and harrased for 17 years for being scarred and different.

Apartment burnt down 2 weeks before christmas leaving nothing but the clothes on my back at 21.

Hit by a drunk when riding my motorcycle after taking a friend to avoid spending his grocery money at 42.

Nope, let the bible thunpers rock on praying to their invisible energies filled with hate all they want. I'm proud to be me and I love the broken man in the mirror and I don't give a flying fuck what others think or care cuz this is MY LIFE not theirs.
It's not the life I expected, but at least I'm still willing to adapt to all the cruelty, hate, and ignorance reminding myself that in the end they can deal with their own hate when it reflects right back on them latter on. Hateful and Ignorant people die alone and lonely and as much of a people person as I've been throughout my life, the horse is dead and there's no point in kicking it. Bless their pathetic heart and walk on.

Remember, these folk got ttheir hate going to their TAX FREE CHURCH filled with "fake love" and all you have to do is drive to Dallas to see these churches that consume property the size larger than Wallmart while school districts cry they are too poor to fix the crumbling schools that educate heir ignored and overlooked offspring. Yup, praise the lord and screw the kids. The dumber they are, the more we can get away with later and do it all TAX FREE.. What a concept huh?Sure, kill all the fags and lezbos cuz they're less than human and they don't love like we do right? Don't worry, we'll make more when these kids squirt out more illegitamate offspring later looking for love with 14 year old raging hormones. Can't get it at home, might as well get it somewhere else right?DEAR GOD, FUCK YOU!!!
--Rik Wallin

Friday, October 10, 2014

Well, for the past couple days.. i've been really geeking out using Apple iPhoto and YouTube to make video slideshows of many of my interesting memories. Why? Well, I used to have a photo area with 45,000 photos taken for many years and I also had a Video area with various movies that I'd produce and send back to family members in New England and do my best to share online.

Sadly though the upload process to my webserver was brutal and the download to watch them required lots of time and hard drive space to say the least.. Well now I decided to put as much as I can on my very own YouTube channel which is located right here at this address: http://tinyurl.com/q6tqoml (yes, it's made with TinyUrl so you don't have to be stuck with an address that goes around your house about three times)

The idea is to create a video legacy of the moments in my life.. be they good or bad or otherwise. Some of the people shown in them aren't even alive today as of this writing Friday, October 10, 2014 and it's a cool legacy for them also. In the old days I used to title each photo of what was going on and who was in it... <very time consuming> These days I've decided not to waste so much time on it instead focusing on getting the large mass online quickly and easily and fiddle with it later. Because face it, putting captions on a boatload of pictures is no fun when you're old and have a forgetful brain.

Anyhow.. there's something here for everyone.. Even the peeps who have abandoned me or done me wrong in the past (you know who you are) and I have no malice to share "Bless Your Hearts." Life is too damn short to live in the past when you have new things to focus on. I always considered myself just like everyone else but now, I'm not so sure anymore when I see others so amazed at what they see and hear through all this. Still, I like sharing and will continue to do so even though I might not ever get to meet those of you watching this stuff. Ta Ta for now... Bye...

Friday, September 5, 2014

Yup, you read that title right.. You're an idiot.. We're all idiots and it's about time that you all faced the fact.. We're all stupid too. Stupid when it comes to quantum physics, stupid when it comes to brain surgery, and also in many other ways.

Big deal so what! You're always going to be an idiot and you're always going to be stupid on some things but the real question here is ARE YOU IGNORANT? Do you IGNORE the chance to learn something new? Do you IGNORE that there's more to your simple and sometimes pathetic existence than what you know already? Yeah dude, that's the real question.

Some say that "ignorance is bliss" but in reality this ignorant person "chose" not to learn what was presented to him and now chooses to be stupid. He IGNORES the facts even though they're plain as day sitting right there in front of him. This fucking sux and so does this piece of shit who calls himself a human being.

Let's take this ignorance up a level to all the fighting going on in the world. Everyone seems to be on some kind of power struggle to be the best, or have the most, or reach the top. Once they get there, the ignorant detach themselves from those less fortunate and lack the love to share wisdom with others.

Kinda like all these fucked up religious wars going on in the world now.. The ignorant teach others to hate anyone and anything that's different than their own beliefs and way of living. Yup, this is fact. These idiots who are stupid and lack knowledge become ignorant and choose not to enlighten themselves with the things they don't understand or relate to. Too afraid to ask for help or direction (like most male humans in the world) the begin a new life filled with hate. The hate grows until they maim, disfigure, and harm others around them and they do it without a single bit of remorse.

Yah, I'm an idiot for writing this and you're an idiot for reading it. I wonder just how fucked up your little world is but instead of being filled with dislike or distrust, I know that it's your life not mine and I know that I have to pay more attention to keeping my own shit in order and on the up and up instead of worrying about the shit you do.

However, I have one single poignant rule for my own humanity and that is to destroy anyone who goes out of their way to harm me. Not the guy next to him, but the one who actually commits an act of harm against me. I will fight to the death with absolutely zero respect or remorse because they chose to invade my peaceful life and do harm. I will use every piece of wisdom I own to crush, conquer, destroy, humiliate, and set an example to others who might wish to do the same. Best of all I do it all without being paranoid or worry about any repercussion from my actions because it involves ME and THEM. Should someone else "choose" to engage on their behalf the cycle begins all over again with the new player.

Why are so many people so stupid in this respect.. We were all put on this earth to live our lives, to love our neighbors and to love our creator as well but it seems that there are so many pre-occupied with HATE that they have totally forgotten to love. They don't even love themselves anymore and I find this really sad.

Ya know, I respect everyone I meet.. I don't have to like them all but I at least know what the world compassion and sharing means. So how many of you Idiots reading this do the same? No, don't pull you "go to church every Sunday" bullshit cuz you were probably the same asshole who slammed on his brakes and waved his fist at the old lady who almost hit him in the parking lot. You don't respect others when it's "Convenient" for you. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT ALL THE FUCKING TIME ASSHOLE!!!

Here in 2014 we have half the middle east fighting and killing each other because of what church they belong to. How fucking funny is that? Ohhh and we have black peeps in Africa who will die from Ebola, a deadly virus with no "cure" as of yet. Maybe we should pick them up by the plane load and drop them off in Syria, Iraq, and the other nations consumed with hate and fighting.. Yeah, even Israel the home of Christ the savior. It would make things real simple.. The people would either drop their guns and put their heads and bank accounts together for solutions or they will die from their own infected ignorance. Wow, what a concept huh?? Wouldn't that be a true testament of humanitarianism! I wonder if I'm the only one on the planet who thought of this?

Now read this right, I'm not saying we should extract the virus and use it to infect others... Nope, I'm saying just fill a few planes with infected peeps and just re-populate them in these fighting areas. Nature will do the rest all on it's own. Nature is a funny thing like that ya know.. It doesn't know anything about love and hate or life and death. It just doesn't care, kinda like some of the rich folk these days who also don't care.

Yup, you're an idiot and I'm an idiot.. I just think with a wider outlook than others but that still doesn't make me any better of an idiot than you. Just different, and different is good. Imagine what our lives would be like if we didn't have DIFFERENT stuff. Imagine if we only had ONE COLOR! First, the very concept of a color or a word to describe it would no longer exist because there would be nothing to compare it to. Nothing at all. Think about it. What's the color of nothing?

With difference comes contrast. Love and Hate contrast each other. They're absolutes. There's nothing hate'yer than hate or love'yer than love. In the case of absolutes, if you eliminate one than it immediately eliminates the other because there is no longer a contrast to compare it to. Pretty fucking deep huh?

Some days I wish I had a huge magick wand that I could wave and put the entire world into one big "Do-Over" mode. Kind of like, a retro time-warp that we go back in time and start over but retain all of the historical knowledge we have today. I wonder how ignorant people would "choose" to be or how much more we would grow. Would we become more paranoid saying shit like "Don't do that..you remember what happened the last time" to others around us? Or would we just live a more loving and compassionate life sharing wisdom and experiences with others?

Ahh well, enough of this rambling and questionable thought. I have a fucked up life of my own dealing with health issues, friendship/loneliness issues, financial issues and so on. Still it's kind of refreshing being able to journal/vent things on this blog. Until the next time I guess... bye...

Friday, August 22, 2014

Busy day today doing lots of organizing and collecting of my pagan book of shadows stuff..

The big focus was putting together a bunch of Kabbala stuff for my teacher to share with the other students in my group. I had gotten it about 10 years ago and apparently she can no longer find her pile in her office so I said I would hunt my stuff down, scan it, and pass it on for her to add back to the library.

Me and my big mouth, what an EFFING job fighting the POS Neat Scanner and associated software. First I had to dig the thing outta the garage, then clean it all off.. Then re-install the software only to find that the crap won’t work with Apple OS X 10.10. Oiy, such fun.. So after about two days I ripped the thing apart and threw it in the trash.. then I deleted every remnant of the MAC and the Windows software promising that I will *NEVER* do business with the Neat company again.

Then my wonderful huz (God I love him so!) went out to Amazon and got me a “Doxie Go” portable scanner that runs cordless and saves to an SD card.

In the meantime, until it gets here, I can go through all of my stuff (a pile of binders about 2.5 feet high that I collected over 15 years) and put the handouts in order so they can be scanned and shared.

Now, next time we have an elder’s MA’AT class we will all be in sync once again.

About Me

I'm Rik, a relocated Gay Yankee that's been here in the Oak Lawn area of Dallas for over 21 years. You can friend me on FaceBook at: https://www.facebook.com/RikWallin

Educated? MEH, big deal, so what! I have a potty mouth and nobody gives a shit about Datacomm, SNA, Mainframes or VTAM. (and since you can't hear my tone, it's said with snarky, roll-your-eyes, humor) If that's what you call well-educated then so be it.

Let's just say I'm "jaded" and loaded with a huge amount of wisdom beyond what you can learn in any book.

Yup, I'm married with friends and benefits so save me the monogamy LTR shit cuz it ain't gonna happen. YOU can say Hi because I don't hunt anymore. I grown accustomed standing around at The Dallas Eagle sometimes feeling overlooked and ignored. Maybe other dudes are too shy or something. The Hidden Door is no longer my hangout place especially when you introduce yourself, extend your hand and watch as two different people sip a drink and walk away. (Dunno, Maybe it's my new deodorant or something...)

Friends with or without benefits would be nice but most importantly, REAL FRIENDS to share a drink or jello shot with now and then. Yup all friends *do* have drama, (and don't you dare say you don't) Know that I'm a damn good listener and loaded with my own personal wisdom (or is that wisdom spelled d,r,a,m,a?).

Many guys just need a compassionate hug now and then to know they're more than some kind of social disease. I wonder if there's anyone out there reading this besides someone looking for their next cock to suck?

Unlike other "white southern crackers," I also dig black dudes and their sexual appetite for passion. So don't preach all that KKK Trump bullshit at me just cuz I'm in the south unless you want me to punch the shit outta you for being an asshole..