#3. Tuck Andress

#2. Russell Hitchcock

He is:

A singer in Air Supply (go on YouTube, put in their name, listen, try not to kill yourself).

Looks Like:

A psychic in western Massachusetts who only gives negative readings since her life partner left one night, leaving behind only a smelly, cat-pee stained hunting jacket that she can't bring herself to throw away.

#1. Doug Stone

He is:

Multi-chinned country singer.

Looks Like:

A waitress at Cracker Barrel who takes up two spaces with her Ford 150 and scares the shit of all the managers.