It's Sunday, the day, if you believe in supernatural phenomena like a fairy that collects human teeth or a morbidly obese saint that delivers toys each winter to all the illegitimate children he fathered, that a patriarchal Old Testament God with a capital "G" gave up on making Earth out of intergalactic clay because someone else in his pottery class made Saturn and it was, like, very good. However, even if you're far too heliocentric to believe in such a creationist myth, there are plenty of Americans who'll believe in it and all of its attendant absurdities (like what about the fucking dinosaurs, hmm?) for you.

According to a new and probably imperfect Gallup poll, far too many Americans either haven't seen Inherit the Wind or did see it and weren't rooting for Spencer Tracy. A telephone survey of 1,012 U.S. adults, weighted for ethnicity, religion, region, and number of adults in the household, found with "95%" confidence that a little less than half of Americans believe that God created people in their present form within the last 10,000 years, science be goddamned. This number, notes Business Insider's Michael Kelley, is up slightly since 1982 when Gallup started asking people what their feelings were about the origin of human life. More alarmingly, about 78 percent of Americans, even if they don't exactly believe that God made a dude out of nothing and then tore out one of his ribs to make a lady, believe that capital "G" still had some hand in making people, which might only be due to the fact that Gallup framed all of its survey questions in terms of God creating or not creating the little menagerie of life we call the world.

Believing that a cosmic being created people is fine, if not a little self-centered, so long as believers can all acknowledge two things: gorillas at the zoo know what the fuck is up and don't appreciate being made fun of by rag-wearing monkeys that make a lot of high-pitched noises rapidly, and Original Sin is a big patriarchal guilt trip meant only to reaffirm male hegemony. Oh, and what happened to Lilith was totally unfair.