Because I cut my kid's bananas into wheels and every other blog name was taken

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From one suck to another

Pardon my absence. I have been so busy making doll clothes that I haven’t had time to blog.

Not true. I actually haven’t touched the sewing machine since my last post.

But I have been in a weird funk, feeling kind of depressed, PMS-ish (but not), and unable to concentrate on anything. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t shake it. Then finally I read something on Baby Center yesterday that made me realize DUH – it’s probably because I am weaning my daughter.

Hormones! Yes, those evil devil toxins are once again ravaging my body and mind, leaving me in a foggy stupor. I totally forgot this can happen with weaning. On the upside, the end of breastfeeding means I can drink more coffee. On the downside, it means I have terrible coffee breath. Also saggy, lifeless, microscopic boobs. Seriously how unjust is it that you spend a year of your life feeding another human off your teet, and in return you get a rack that is smaller than the one you had in 8th grade? Pfff.

Anyway, hopefully this little misery spell will end soon enough. At this point I am only breastfeeding once a day at bedtime, and on only one side. Because the only thing better than tiny tits, is lopsided ones.

The other thing that has been sucking the life out of me lately is kindergarten enrollment for my oldest daughter. Sweet mother why didn’t someone warn me about this?!

I’ve been to six school open houses. I’m pretty sure I OD’d. But I can’t believe all the factors there are to consider when choosing a school! And I’m not even looking at private options.

Do I want to put my kid at the school with an enrichment program? Or the one with a diverse student population? Or the crunchy alternative one with project-based learning? Or the school with a strong focus on art and music? Or the one with a beautiful building and all new computers and materials? Or the school with high test scores? Or the principal I really liked? Or the school where there is high parent involvement and a strong sense of community? Or the school that is K-8, which means my kids would be in the same school for longer? Of course it could also mean that my kindergartener may buy drugs from an 8th grader on the playground…

I could go on, but I won’t put you through that kind of torture.

So the last few weeks have entailed a series of conversations with my husband in which we ask ourselves – what can we supplement at home if she doesn’t get it at school? What are we OK sacrificing? What environment is best suited for our kid? And how the hell am I supposed to know that exactly?

I’m just hoping she gets into the school that focuses on the “whole child” approach to learning. This is an inside joke with myself because they ALL say this.

In the end I’m sure she will be fine no matter the outcome. None of the schools are terrible and we’re lucky to have options. I just wasn’t mentally prepared for how overwhelming the process can be.

But it has been an eye opener as to what lies ahead for us as we enter the world of public education. Homework! School lunches! The PTA! Dun dun DUNNNNN.

I cannot WAIT to audition for the PTA. I’m already working on the talent portion of my act. Thinking maybe a tap dance. Or a lap dance. Heyo! I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about at this point so I’ll just end this before it gets any worse.

8 thoughts on “From one suck to another”

You opened with your lopsided boobs, and closed by giving a lap dance to the PTA. Heh heh. Funny. But seriously, hormone fluctuations are a b*tch. I don’t envy you.

I would offer some advice or encouragement about the school choice thing, but my only child is still young enough to be asleep on me in an Ergo right now, so I have nothing helpful to add. Actually, she’s probably too old for it at this point, so I am clearly clueless and shouldn’t be offering to help anyone anyway.

1. Nursing sucks the very LIFE out of your boobies.
2. Don’t pick the school that has “project-based learning” unless you LIKE staying up until 1 a.m. finishing projects while your kid has passed out on the couch.