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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Introducing: American Removal and Survival of Explosions - An American Guilde Spot:The A.R.S.E. - A.G. Spot

Now in 4 Easy Steps!

1) At the first sign of an explosion of any kind, immediately locate your .45 calibre banana clipped poison bulletted sabre rifle, and begin to shoot the explosion into submission repeating the words "pwnography, pwnography, pwnography!"2) For more stubborn explosions, such as these found in train stations and Israel, a more psychological approach needs to be taken. Begin shouting obscenities at the fiery mass, the more racist the better!

*repeat steps one and two in sequence at least three times before continuing!

3) At this point, we know we have a serious threat on our hands, so as a collective society, we will have to declare war on the explosion. This means deploying all our troops, as well as our troupes! Our soldiers and dramatic types will find creative inspiration in the eyes of their counterparts, and this creativity will bring plenty of glory to the heartland!4) When all else fails, we will create a bigger explosion to kill the current explosion, we will once again use our sabre rifles, so be sure to stock up on some specially formulated silver bullets made in the Washington Mint! We are going to unfortunately have to shoot George Michael, because we know nothing has ever blown up stronger than he did back in '94!

Why We're Sexy

So you've finally come to see what all the hype is about. Well, thats a good thing I suppose, curious stranger. Do you have copious amounts of money, want to be famous, or want ripped abs? Want to give us bunches of money with these false expectations? Send an e-mail to us and we will figure out how you can donate! pigeonstew@gmail.com