Monday Morning Armchair QB: Super Bowl LIII

February 4, 2019

Super Bowl LIII is officially in the rearview mirror, and fans can’t stop talking about that terrific NFL commercial! To recap, Roger Goodell addresses a room full of NFL legends when a game erupts inside a dining hall! Joe Montana throws a pass to Jerry Rice, Jon Gruden trades Barry Sanders for a third-round pick, Nathan Peterman tosses an interception, and Bill Vinovich misses an obvious roughing the table call on Odell Beckham, Jr. Now, let’s get to the actual game, as described by our very own Monday Morning Armchair QB.

Too Late To Apologize

It’s another week with another apology from Roger Goodell. Just after admitting a call should’ve been made against the Rams in the NFC Championship Game, Goodell was forced to make another statement. The NFL Commissioner issued an apology Monday morning for the Super Bowl. In the statement, Goodell wrote, “I am incredibly sorry to all the folks who wished to watch an entertaining game. This was by far the most boring Super Bowl we’ve ever seen. I blame this on the Chiefs defense, to be honest. If they could’ve made one freaking stop, we would’ve been able to watch Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl.” In a rare moment of self-reflection, Goodell admitted the league year should have been stopped after the Rams-Chiefs Monday night matchup. “That was the real Super Bowl,” the Commissioner said.

Another Selfish Move By Brady

For the tenth season in a row, Tom Brady selfishly chose to play in the Super Bowl instead of the Pro Bowl. Brady, the Hall of Fame QB, has been absolutely classless in his disrespect towards the game’s all-star showcase. He last suited up in the game in 2005, leaving fans in Hawaii and Orlando longing for more. Brady’s refusal to play in the highly regarded game has many questioning the Pro Bowl’s future. Could the game be moved from its current Orlando location? Perhaps moving the site closer to Brady’s home would make him more apt to play in the game. Pro Bowl fans lined the streets of New Orleans yesterday to express their frustration with Brady.

Halftime Entertainment

Whether you preferred Prince, U2 or Michael Jackson, football fans unanimously agreed last night’s halftime show was the greatest of all time. For the first time in league history, the NFL offered up dueling halftime shows. One show took the stage in Atlanta, while the other was available online. Without a doubt, social media influencer LeBron James (@KingJames) stole the show! The comedy king’s material went viral quickly. He tweeted out his desire to be featured in the NFL’s Super Bowl commercial. He then jokingly asked where all the juicy NBA trade rumors were! James even suggested that he should be the lone halftime act next season; stay tuned! After Maroon 5’s disappointing set, James simply tweeted at the band, saying, “be better tomorrow.”

Rest The Best

To say the least, it was a bold move by Sean McVay, resting his best player, Todd Gurley. While many NFL teams are searching for the next McVay, the Rams head coach has often referred to himself as the next Gregg Popovich. McVay studied Popovich’s philosophy for years, and decided to adopt his theory on resting star players. Faced with a potential rematch with the Saints in week one of the 2019 season, there was no way McVay was going to risk the health of his star RB in a meaningless game against an AFC opponent.

Check back for the next edition of Monday Morning Armchair QB as we discuss the newest chant out of New England. After Brady’s “we’re still here” mantra took off, the region has coined a new chant geared towards Saints fans: “please go away!”

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