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Seven Reasons to Attend Couples Counseling

“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” ~ Epicurus

There’s no doubt; marriage is challenging. Nearly every newly married couple is excited and elated about their nuptials, and rightfully so. You are extremely smitten with your spouse and you are excited about creating a new life together. So what happens in the years following your wedding that causes so many couples to become unhappy and ready to throw in the towel?

The first thing that happens is reality sets in. You go back to the “real world” after returning from your honeymoon. You return to your job and everything else it takes to run a household, such as grocery shopping, cooking, paying bills, cleaning, doing yard work. Sometimes when reality sets in and the “honeymoon is over”, people really struggle with the commitment to being married and the time it takes to ensure your spouse knows how you feel about them, as a person, sexually, and as a partner in life and in realizing your common dreams.

So, how do you know that your if your marriage is going through a rough time or if you’re dealing with something more devastating and permanent? Marriage Counseling can be a godsend for couples struggling in their relationships. If you have hit a brick wall in trying to work things out between the two of you, it may be time to seek counseling. There are definite signs to knowing when you should at least start talking about finding a marriage counselor in order to get through the rough patches.

You No Longer Communicate – You are married, you go through the motions, and you have become more like roommates than a married couple. You speak to each other, only when necessary, and mostly about the kids, who is responsible for the chores this week, who will pick up the groceries or dry cleaning, and what is needed to pay your monthly bills.

Your Sex Life Changes Dramatically – If there is a loss of intimacy, there are problems somewhere. If there is an increase in intimacy, there are problems somewhere as well. Loss of intimacy tends to mean there are unspoken issues and quite possibly, one spouse has no idea what those issues are. On the other hand, if your spouse is wanting to make passionate love to you every day and wants to try new positions, there are probably issues as well. In that case, your spouse may be feeling aroused by things that are not originating from you

Ongoing Issues – If you have had the same issue in your relationship from the start and have tried to work things out and agree on an outcome, but the same issue comes up time after time, you should seek counseling. Ongoing issues can lead to divorce very quickly, or the issue can build and build, causing tension and bad feelings for years to come.

Finances – Disagreements over how to save money or how to spend money are one of the top reasons couples find themselves in constant conflict. If all of a sudden your spouse feels the need to control the entire budget, it may be time to say something. If you are being kept in the dark about family finances all of a sudden, there is a reason for this shift.

Unfortunate, Devastating Life Events – If there has been a traumatic event in your marriage, such as an affair, a miscarriage, or loss of a child, and one or both partners are struggling with letting go, it is time for counseling. Many times, especially within the case of losing a child, people tend to blame themselves, or their spouse for the occurrence. This is never healthy. Counseling can help you talk through the issues and blame and work towards a shared understanding.

Kids – Children are miracles and nothing short of blessings, but having kids can add stress to your marriage, especially if you are not unified in your parenting styles. One parent is always the “hard” parent, and the other the “soft”. Kids know this and will play this to their advantage. It is essential that both parents are unified in decisions and support each other in child-rearing decisions.

You Still Love Your Spouse – There is a difference between loving your spouse and being in love with your spouse. Many struggling couples find that although they love their spouse (maybe for their parenting skills, their selflessness in putting the rest of the family above their own needs, or their role as a provider in working to support their family’s wants and needs) they are no longer “in love” with their spouse. This is a good time to start speaking with your spouse about counseling. If you wait until you truly despise your spouse, it’s probably going to be too late.

Going through life being unhappy is never productive. Many times couples are aware that something is wrong, and they may even know what is wrong. The problem is, they don’t know how to fix it. Marriage counseling takes a commitment from both spouses in order to get through the issues and create a better, stronger marriage. As times go by in your marriage, you will see that sometimes it’s just not worth it to argue about in-laws, how much money is spent on grocery shopping, or how many times a week you want to have sex. Marriage Counseling can help in so many ways.

Typically when a couple first attends marriage counseling, each individual spouse blames the other for the problems. However, both spouses create the climate of the relationship; both spouses put distress into the relationship; and both spouses need to do things differently to create the marriage they both want. Conflict is the start of growth, and it can go in a positive direction or a negative direction. Take the time and commit to marriage counseling when things get tough. You may develop a stronger relationship than you ever had with your spouse.

And remember, you were head over heels in love with your spouse at one time. You chose your spouse. Shouldn’t you do whatever it takes to get your marriage back on track? We are here to help you. OC Relationship Center. Give us a call today at 949-220-3211 or book your appointment via our online calendar, and get your relationship back on track.

What People Are Saying

If you are struggling with relationships concerns, the OC Relationship Center is the place for you. Their expert clinicians focus specifically on relationships, and are skilled in couples therapy. This practice is run efficiently, so in addition to the therapy itself, the experience of being a client here is smooth and accessible. Highly recommended!read more

Chris Chandler

14:31 06 Jan 18

Casey Truffo is incredibly warm, compassionate, and helpful! I have enjoyed getting to work with her and experience her wealth of insight and direction. I would highly recommend her services to anyone looking for help in their relationships!read more

drvernitamarsh

23:40 04 Jan 18

I had the opportunity to work with the owner of the center and I have found her to be respectful, competent and warm. Given, the reputation and character of the owner, I have no doubt that her staff are held to the same standard and caliber.read more

Jennie Steinberg

06:38 04 Jan 18

OC Relationship Center is a wonderful group practice. They take wonderful care of their clients, and help couples to thrive! I highly recommend them to anyone seeking therapy to help heal and improve their relationships.read more

April De Higes

01:58 04 Jan 18

This place is very welcoming. All the therapist are experienced, warm and caring, and effective. They work will all issues from couple communication struggles, to depression and anxiety. As a therapist myself, I happily refer to all the therapists in this office.read more

al potash

20:36 29 Dec 17

An amazing place ! My experience of the staff, ambiance and the seamless access to a specialists made me feel cared for and valued.read more

Amber Miller

19:19 27 Dec 17

I know the therapists at the OC relationship center of orange county and they are very experienced in individual and couples therapy. The office is both warm and inviting and I would recommend them to anyone.read more

Ellen Bradley-Windell

00:10 23 Dec 17

What an amazing group of caring, warm and experienced therapists....The Relationship Center of Orange County should be your first choice when choosing to enrich your most precious relationships.read more

Suzanne Smith

22:26 15 Mar 16

Casey Truffo is an incredible therapist and leader. As such, she has assembled a terrific team of practitioners to help couples and individuals heal in relationship with one another or heal in the relationship they have to themselves, respectively. Casey's center offers a beautiful environment for clients to feel safe, heard and empowered. I would send anyone I know to her center, and I trust hers and the skills and knowledge of her practitioners wholeheartedly.read more

Ana Maria Sierra, Ph.D.

04:58 15 Mar 16

I have known Casey Truffo professionally for some time. She is a highly experienced, warm, and compassionate psychotherapist who places the heart at the center of her group practice. You can be certain that you will be made to feel welcomed and well taken care of either by Casey and her staff of seasoned professionals. I would also like to add that Casey is a recognized leader and mentor to many, both nationally and internationally. So, if you are seeking an understanding and approachable counselor who can help you have a more satisfying and healthier relationship, be it with your partner, your child, or with yourself, I recommend that you contact Casey now.read more

Nadia Jones

06:43 26 Oct 15

I have known Marni Reinhardt for the last 12 years. I have seen her bloom as a therapist and grow in her skills from the beginning. She can add so much into her work through her special training in hypnosis and relational issue as well as Evidence Based Practice Models. She is a caring, compassionate, and direct therapist who loves her work and more than anything to help. I highly recommend her!read more