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Hair bitch!  Sharleen Spiteri

You can take the hair from the hairdresser, but you can’t take the hairdresser out of the hair. A former hairdresser from Glasgow, Sharleen Spiteri likes to describe herself as androgynous — as a teenager, people used to call her “son”.

Recently, she has been sporting a cut verging on the Liza Minnelli. It has had a lot of work put into it, because she is launching a new album, yet I’m not sure it’s the right kind of work. It looks as if it has a style, but not a stylish person to carry it off.

It shocked me to learn that this woman is a mother. If I was her baby, I would grow up gender-confused.

There is something hostile about her hair. It’s the look of a woman who doesn’t really want to be a woman at all.