at 1:30 in the morning the acid kicks in and i start organizing reorganizing the clothes in my closet while grinding my teeth and listening to dubstep on headphones at full volume and when the beat drops i picture:

myself screaming at the top of my lungs,

my guts exploding,

children bathed in blood,

burning everything down with fire,

smiling awkwardly while posing for a picture next to my father’s tombstone when i was 15 as he rotted in the soil directly underneath my feet.

then i start to see the lights:

strobe lights,

flashing lights,

neon lights,

streaks of light going in every direction that all intersect at the crossroads of nothing and forever.

then i organize reorganize the massive porno collection on my computer and jerk off for 3 hours straight but i can’t seem to come but then all of a sudden i manage to come out of nowhere even though i’m not even jerking off and my dick isn’t hard.

then i take a shower but i can’t feel the water so i take its word for it and look at the water with my eyes closed while scrubbing my asshole clean with unscented soap.