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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Holy carp, people...

I just don't know where to start with this one. Wow. Freaky. Someone actually thinks this is appropriate for kids? Who? Not me.

Let me preface all this by saying-- I am about 95% vegetarian. For starters, my big ol' growing mom-of-three, loves-southern-cooking-a-little-too-much backside don't need any fat-n-gristle encouragement when it comes to exponential enlargement, if you know what I'm sayin'. Secondly, while I'm not a liberal, I am a little squeamish, especially since I watch way too many cutesy-poo animal moves with my kids, like Bambi, Babe, and Gordy. So, while I'm definitely not a member of PETA or anything, I'm not hyper-carnivorous, either.

Now, about this freaky flyer... Let's go through this, one thing at a time.

1) DADS who fish?!?! DADS who fish? Maybe in other parts of the country, it's only the dads who fish, but where I come from, that just isn't the case. I grew up in Myrtle Beach, and when I'd go to the pier as a teen, I remember seeing men, women, and children fishing away. I remember my grandpa taking me fishing as a girl, and while I might not have baited my own hook, I sure as heckfire enjoyed fishing. Now, grown up, I have no desire to fish. But I still know that women do it. For a bunch of liberals, PETA sure missed the feminist angle on this one. I'm a little disappointed.

2) Is it just me, or does it appear that this comic is going to be a bit too graphic and scary for most children? I look at the cover, and I think Hannibal Lecter. I wouldn't let my kids read this comic any more than I'd let them watch Silence of the Lambs. Sorry. Not gonna do it. Now, I can understand the argument that the truth is sometimes graphic and needs to be exposed. But I think that any time that exposure happens in a forum in which children might see it (and particularly when that exposure is targeted at children), restraint is necessary. There are just some realities of the world that kids don't yet need to know, and my position on this isn't just limited to the far left, either. I get just as angry when I can't drive from the grocery store to my house without my children having to deal with protesters holding up huge boards with pictures of fetus parts and dead babies, protesting abortion. How do you explain that to a child? The short answer: you don't. Until they're old enough, that is. I look at the cover of this ridiculous comic, and I think it's reasonable for any sane parent to worry that it would give the kiddies a nightmare or two. Hell, I'm afraid it's going to give me a nightmare.

3) Your Daddy Kills Animals... Ask Your Daddy Why He's Hooked on Killing. Okay, here's where some of you may or may not agree with me. As parents, we all do stupid things. And we all do things that we see as perfectly acceptable, that others may find sinful or repulsive. Me-- I like to have a nice Icehouse or margarita now and then. I almost always limit myself to one, and I haven't been truly tipsy since my bachelorette party 6 years ago. But I don't have a problem with someone who is not an alcoholic enjoying a drink with dinner now and then. If someone felt it was their responsibility to inform my children of their parents' evil deeds drinking the devil juice, I think I'd have to unleash something horrible on them. And then I'd remind them that Jesus didn't really drink grape juice at the last supper, no matter what the Baptists say. Now, telling a child whose father gets drunk and throws saw blades at mommy that daddy's drinking is a problem-- that's one thing. But a perfectly healthy and concerned parent who drinks approximately 3.6 beers per month-- that's not a threat to the child's welfare; turning that child against that parent would be. Similarly, making it seem that daddy's a murderer because he likes fresh bream is a bit mental. Now, if daddy likes to disembowel puppies just for kicks-- that's a problem that might require an outside intervention of some sort. Daddy catching a fish now and then is not, plain and simple. At least from my perspective, for whatever that's worth.

Please, PETA, do us all a favor. You deal with the animals. Let us deal with our children. Not all parents hold the same views, which is part of what makes this country as great as it is, and convincing a child that an otherwise loving parent is dangerous simply because of fishing is just plain silly.