Fucking codes man. Same in EMS. Also "slow" is never said. Don't take your boots off before 11. And you're never going to "go take a shower" or "go lie down." We always said "go run some water" or "go be horizontal."

Much kudos to you. My fiance is a medic and I could never do it. I can deal with everything except the part where the patient talks. 10/10 pain my ass, you're still whining coherently enough that it can't be more than six. You called an ambulance because you wanted an easy trip to your outpatient appointment? Excuse me while I give me a reason to be here and you a real emergency.