I can really relate to what you wrote.. I'm also having to interact with lots of new people lately, and it's been wearing me down.

You're not alone! Having aches and pains are totally normal for people like us, but it is really hard to not feel good so often, and to have so much more stress than is healthy. Here are some things that I do, that help me:

-Distance yourself from others when possible. Maybe there's a more secluded place at the library that you can work, or a place besides the library that has better energies. From my experience, the atmosphere of public libraries usually lends itself to negative energy, especially in the computer areas Not sure why...

-Make sure your breathing is good. Breathe in positive energy (into your abdomen), and breathe out the negative energy (from your abdomen) *make sure your abdomen expands when you breathe, not your chest, and it will make a big difference

-Make positive changes in the other areas of your life that you can. It sounds like you have a LOT going on at once! Change in general really weighs on me, too. But I find that if I give myself the things that I need, in addition to my work and the other (hard) things that are necessary, I feel better and am more able to cope. Some examples are: time alone, time in nature, exercise, healthy food, enough sleep, and time to unwind before bed (I take at least an hour every night to do something that I want to do, whether that's watching a movie or replying to posts on here.. anything relaxing really helps)

*Oh and lastly, a note about sleep. It's my knowledge that for empaths especially, sleep is vital, because our nervous systems are way more sensitive than average and they take in a vast amount of information every day, so without at least 8 hours of sleep a night, we are not giving our bodies nearly enough time to recharge. I've found that some days I really need a nap, as well

-Sometimes when I can't sleep I try to "watch" a movie in my mind, and remember as much of it as I can This usually makes me tired, keeps me entertained, and distracts me really well from stress and negative energy

-Make sure you're the right temperature; our body temperatures naturally need to drop a little when we fall asleep, so if your bed is really warm, that might be a problem..

-Determine the things that are most on your mind, the things that bother you the most, and make a list of them. Then make plans for what you can do to make them better, and then when they come into your mind as you're trying to sleep, tell yourself that you "have them covered" (that you already have plans for what to do)

-Write in a journal or read a book before bed. Semi-boring books work especially well

-Take a warm bath or shower before bed to relax your muscles

-You could also try prayer. As odd as it sounds, this is one of my favorites! It helps me so much..

Anyway, I hope these might help a little. They probably won't work right away, but maybe they can help you get a healthy sleep routine going again. Best of luck!

What also might be helpful is for you to delve deeper into your subconscious to try to determine exactly how your feelings about food have changed.

For example, what happened with me was that I realized I was having a lot of anxiety while I was eating, because I was afraid what I was eating was going to make me feel sick later on.

So once I started focusing on relaxing while eating, and not eating too quickly, I started feeling better overall. Right now I'm working on not feeling soguilty about what I eat - because lots of times I feel like I should've made better choices about what to eat, even if what I had just eaten was really healthy.

p.s. For anyone reading this who has bad physical reactions to their food - there's this really great eating plan that I'm on right now that's working really well for me, and I'd love to elaborate on it if anyone's interested. It involves food combining.

I have to eat all organic, too I think it's because we have such sensitive nervous systems (and because we're so emotionally sensitive)... I have sensitivities to genetically modified foods and foods that contain pesticides, so I'm in pain if I eat them.

In situations like that, I believe we will always feel pain, because even though it was necessary for you to split up, empaths feel all the emotions involved, and on such a deep level. It can feel really heartbreaking. (For example, growing up I wasn't "abused," but my parents' discipline often registered as abuse for me, emotionally, because I felt it so deeply)

We naturally want to "be what others need" and to make people happy, but this is impossible to do all the time, and sometimes it's the wrong thing to do when we hurt ourselves in the process, so don't feel guilty It's easy for us to blame ourselves, and even wish we could take back what happened. I've had relationships like that, too... Just remember that you did what was best for yourself, and that was the right thing to do.

I know it's hard, but eventually the pain will fade..

One of the reasons I've found, to help explain why I blame myself so much, is that I have such a high awareness of others, to the point where I usually feel like "the more responsible one," or "the one in charge." Do you ever feel like this?

Interesting question.. I think that might be true, that we can project our feelings onto others causing them to feel like we do. With this, I think it would be them subconsciously picking up on our energies, and being effected by them. Even if he's not as sensitive as you, most people are effected in some ways by others' energies, just at extremely differing levels.

I don't know a lot about this, but another theory I have is that, when people feels such positive energy (such as your energy around this guy), that this feels really good to them, so they want more. It gives them more confidence, and can make them think that they have feelings for the other person. It seems like this would mostly happens to us, being empaths, as we're so effected by others' emotions and it's hard to tell if they're ours or not, but I think it can happen to those who aren't empaths, too - only on a far more subconscious and subtle level. My guess would be that your emotions may have triggered his, but that at least consciously, he likes you of his own accord.

Sorry this is kind of wordy But maybe it will help a little bit..

Absence might help you to figure out if this is what's happening - you could try being away from him for awhile and see if he comes back to you.

I had a relationship fall off completely just by not talking to this guy for a few months. He had been fairly persistent with wanting to go out with me, whereas I only wanted to be friends, but once we stopped talking to each other, and I was no longer giving him positive energy, he didn't seem to care anymore. I think he just wanted to go out with someone... (and he'sdefinitely not an empath..)

I'm with you there! Those soap aisles are the worst - my family laughs because I won't go down them Wow, I didn't know I would find so many people like me on this site.. I use all-natural cleaning products, laundry detergent, hair products, and everything, pretty much.

I DEFINITELY see a parallel between emotional and physical sensitivity, too!

I'm highly sensitive to most medications (I rely wholly on homeopathic medicine), I have allergies to cats and dust mites, and I'm sensitive to all non-organic foods, and dairy. Because of the food sensitivities, I have all manner of digestive issues. Yeah... not fun.

But from what I'm read, a lot of empaths have these kinds of sensitivities, as well as abdominal problems and back issues <-- (I have both of those)

About a year ago I was under anesthesia for 2 hours and when I woke up my mom thought I was dying because my lips turned blue and I was super pale & nauseated :/

You're not alone! I think I'm still in the process of "waking up" too, and it's been interesting... Mostly it has been good, but some suppressed emotions are coming to the surface for me, that have been somewhat hard to release.

Anyway. Don't worry about rambling - it's definitely good to let everything out! Us empaths suppress way to much, it seems like..

I mostly wanted to say, welcome to the EC! And that the rush of new information will calm down at some point. It's leveling off for me, although I'll admit that I still look up sites describing empath traits because I'm amazed at how many of them fit with who I am. It's provides SO much validation.

My experience with shielding so far has been that it's not very effective for me. What I've found to be most beneficial is to be a conduit of positive energy (which leaves far less room for negative energy to enter into my being), as well as to 'breathe in' all that is positive around me, and breathe out all that is not good for me.

I think you're definitely right that one of the reasons our posts can become really long is because we're always the safe listeners

A lot of what you said resonates with me.. I've been thinking I have severe depression lately, but I think it's because my family is going through some things that are causing some depression in all of us, and I'm feeling it, too, only way amplified.

I'm sorry to hear you're around people who lack empathy - that's so hard! I wish I had more suggestions for you, but here are some:

Teach the people you're living with about the things that you need. So many times as empaths we only think about others and their needs, but our own needs are super important too, especially because we can help others SO much better when we're feeling good.

Follow your empath intuition This is pretty straightforward - I think we probably all have times when we feel a "knowing" feeling about something, and we're usually right!

I don't remember my childhood in a lot of detail, but I remember a lot from it; it was probably the happiest time of my life so far. I think it's great that you remember so much, and so accurately, because I believe the better we understand that children inside of us, the better we can take care of ourselves emotionally.

Trevor's advice has helped me too! I hope you find all that you seek, and that you will be blessed with lots of light on your journey. Welcome to the EC!

I've had an extremely hard time with choosing a career path, too.. I think it's because empaths tend to have a lot of varied interests, even if they're more on the creative and spiritual sides of the spectrum.

I like what Crownite said about everything being spiritual. I think that as long as you choose something you love, and something you can be committed to, then you're on the right track.

I haven't chosen a career yet either because I'm still in school, too, but here are some of the ones that are recommended for empaths:

Interesting.. I feel the seasons, too, but I suppose we all probably have different reasons for why. It reminds me of "feeling the days of the week" (which it seems like most of us can do).I've found that there are things that i can love about every season, as well as things that are hard to live with. For example, I love rain, but somehow I can relate to the feeling of dread you talked about with spring..Anyway, welcome to the EC! P.S. something I just thought of was that this might be more than just an empath trait for you. It might be one of the empathic gifts you have. We all seem to have differering abilities.. Like I seem to have a strong ability to feel the energies of color. And I've been pretty weird about it over the years. My family wonders why I'm so "picky," but I still don't think they have any idea how much colors affect me emotionally.

Hi Eddie, welcome to the EC!I just wanted to write that I've struggled with making eye contact a lot, too.. Ever since I found out I was an empath (about a month ago) I've figured it's probably an empath thing, so I guess that might be true For me, the whole "eyes are the window to the soul" thing is amplified, to the point where I think some people are weirded out by how well I can "see" them. Of course it's not like they say anything about that, but I can feel it.That's why I generally avoid looking people in the eyes for very long - sometimes it gets too intense, or their emotions rub off on me way more than they would otherwise, like you were saying.

I prefer cats, but I'm allergic to them (lol)I think what makes me so drawn to cats is that I can relate to them better than dogs - dogs seem sonewhat overeager, needy, and oblivious, whereas cats are more aware (more "awake"), more independent, more cautious, and they tend to have softer fur

I just wanted to say that the performance actually went a lot better than I though it would! Everything else about the day was somewhat stressful, funnily enough, but singing went a lot like I practiced, so I'm really grateful for that.

Here are the things that helped:

Believing that I could do it

Breathing well

And telling myself that the nerves are just me being excited to perform. My sister gave me this tip from her public speaking class, and I highly recommend it! Apparently nerves and excitement have really similar reactions in the body, so it's not hard for me to convince myself that I'm excited, even if I were scared out of my mind. But, as we all know, excitement is much more enjoyable and trust me, nerves can turn into excitement if you let them!

I bet this tip could also work for social settings, too - I'll have to try that...

That's a great question! Like Chay, my list would be super long, too, but here are some things:

Learning something new that helps me see the world in a better light, being able to help people - especially using my creative or empathic my abilities, spending time with family, strengthening my relationship with God, healthy food that also tastes amazing, going new places, being in Barnes & Noble, being in airports (I love the energy in airports because it tends to be reflective, hopeful, cultural, and bittersweet all at the same time), being in health food stores, being creative, and having intellectual or philosophical conversations with people.

Oh and really good music.. I love how music is such a universal language

You're very welcome! I'm so happy to hear that you're finding more hope, and the right path for you. Thank you for writing such a sweet reply. It means a lot to me! May you receive strength and light on your journey

Welcome to the EC! This is a great place for you to find advice and the help you need..

I know it can be hard to see the positive aspects of our abilities, but here are some positive aspects that I've found:

We can have a high level of understanding for others, we can naturally care about other people, and have compassion for them, we think very deeply about life, we have amazing "inner worlds," and if we learn to use our abilities to help people, we can make a big difference in their lives.

I'm really sorry you've had people poke fun at you, and that things have been so rough. Believe me, I don't judge you for the ways you've coped. It's so easy for us, as empaths, to turn to addictions (which I've struggled with before, too), because we have so much to cope with! So I really hope you will have compassion for yourself, with all you've been through - because I can tell it's been a LOT. Here are some of my suggestions:

Build yourself up physically, mentally and emotionally by doing things that bring happiness, and relaxation to you - examples may be reading uplifting books, being creative, or going for walks. Doing these things, while it may be hard, can fill you with light. And the light will not only help you cope, but protect you from others' energies. Plus, these things can help replace your desire to smoke.

Make sure to get at least 8 hours of sleep every night. This is really important for empaths especially, because we tend to use up our energy faster than the average person. So I've found that sleep is a saving grace for me..

Find ways to use your abilities to help people. This really has been one of my biggest ways of coping. There is so much joy that can be found from using these abilities in everyday life... I've found that even just smiling at people can be a way to make a difference.

Lastly, I just want to say that I understand how easy it is for us, as empaths, to deprive ourselves of things we need, in order to make life 'better' for other people. But one of the best things we can do for those around us is to love and take care of ourselves. So I hope that you will maybe see some ways that you can better take care of yourself, after reading this. There are a lot of needs that we have that are somewhat different from those who aren't empaths (for example, the need to work alone, the need to be creative, the need to take our time), and these things can help to free us from suffering, when we give them to ourselves.

I think daydreaming can be really good for us sometimes, because it can kind of cleanse our feelings, like meditation. For the most part, I think it's a good coping mechanism, too, and potentially a way to be more creative, but I definitely understand that sometimes there is a need for greater concentration - like at work.

To really answer your question, I would need to know how you're daydreaming is working against you. Daydreaming is really common among empaths, but it has only been a problem for me in times when I need to focus better.

So here are some tips for not daydreaming as much (in case it might help):

-Find a way to make your work less boring, if you can. You're right that daydreaming is many times a result of boredom, so if you can find something to spark your interest or change your work to make it more meaningful to you, then that could help.

-Make sure to get enough sleep at night (if you're tired, that might make it harder to focus)

-As far as I know, there aren't any ways to use daydreaming as an psychic ability, but for me, creative expression is really helpful. I dream about a lot of different things, but these dreams have a tendency to build up inside of me if I don't express them somehow, creatively. So I highly recommend finding a creative outlet, and bringing more of your dreams to life.

I understand how you feel.. <3 I was actually just writing a post about this - how easy it is for us, as empaths, to put our own needs aside, and give others' needs priority.

I wish I had more advice for you, but what I really wanted to write was that you sound like such an amazing person, so I hope you keep letting it show It's interesting, but we tend to help people most when we are our true selves. And taking care of your needs definitely isn't selfishness! It's okay to want & need things, and it's okay to give yourself permission to feel whatever feelings come over you. It's also okay to ask for what you need. I know this is really hard, but this is something I'm working on, too, and it's actually helping me to not only speak my mind more, but to loosen up and tell myself that I'm not required to be perfect.

Sure, I may have been blessed with a high level of awareness and intuition, but no one's forcing me to use these gifts perfectly, AND even when I make mistakes, those people who really love me - even though they may have some problems, themselves - will be forgiving, and it won'truin my relationships with them.

These are just a few things I've been learning lately. I really hope things get better for you!

That is definitely a lot for one person to have going on! Thanks for sharing with me. I have trouble deciding what I should share on here, too. But it helps me a lot in giving advice to know more about your situation.

I'm especially sorry to hear that things have been rough with your family - those trials are really hard on me, too..

It sounds like you're doing some awesome things to help yourself, though It'll be good when you can be in nature again (wisdom teeth... that was one of the hardest weeks of my life :/), but I think it's really good that you're trying meditation, counseling, shielding...etc.

Also, I love that quote you shared about trying to make everyone warm. I've already used it in conversation and I can relate to that mindset SO much. It seems really common for us empaths to look at the world this way. For example, right now I've been having to deal with a lot of repressed anger that is now coming to the surface, which I've repressed because I really dislike anger, and I feel how much it influences other people negatively. But I realized that this anger is actually directed toward myself, for not giving myself permission to express my true feelings, and for giving others' feelings priority so much - basically trying to do what I thought others wanted me to do.

For awhile doing what others' wanted worked for me, because it protected me from more of the negative feelings I didn't want to experience, both from myself and others. Yet, it came at a price. Now it's really hard for me to recover from making mistakes, if they hurt anyone else, and it's hard for me to be understanding of myself. I'm working hard at changing the way I see myself, and changing the strict rules I have for myself.

This is where I recommend that you start:

It sounds to me like you might suffer from perfectionism. I don't know if you've ever heard of Louise L. Hay, but she is a wonderful mentor, who has this book called "You Can Heal Your Life." Her main philosophy is that our thoughts are creating our future, and that, by positively influencing our thoughts with positive affirmations, we can counteract the negative, toxic thoughts that will only bring us suffering.

At the back of her book, she has a list of a number of health problems that many, many people experience (even snoring), and a list of the thought patterns that have most likely caused these health issues. Ex: Snoring = stubbornness. This may sound far fetched, but she has worked with a lot of people over the years, and noticed these patterns among those who suffer with the same, or similar ailments. And as I've applied her advice to my life, things have gotten much better for me.

Anyway, arthritis is in there, and it says that arthritis is highly linked to perfectionism. I think it's really easy for empaths to be perfectionists, since it feels like we can control so many aspects of not only our own lives, but the lives of others, with the extra sensory info. that we receive every day. But like you said, sometimes it only hurts us when we try to help people. And if you haven't yet learned to be a healer, which I'm still learning about, too, then I think starting with tackling perfectionism is a good way to go. Because I believe we can all shield ourselves much better when we feel love for ourselves, and let go of negative or perfectionistic demands.

Something I like to do is write positive affirmations on pieces of paper (I make them colorful and pretty, as well), and then post them throughout my house/living space, places where I will see them every day. They helped me a lot while I was at college.

If you're like me, you might have trouble noticing negativity inside yourself, because it mostly occurs as feelings, and maybe subconscious thoughts, rather than conscious thoughts. Sometimes I don't think as much, I just feel.. But I've still found that positive affirmations can help change my feelings for the better.

[So I've had two failed attempts at sending this reply, hopefully this time it will finally work!!! lol]

I am competitive, as you can probably tell from what I just wrote (I couldn't let my computer win!), but like you, I don't always like to win, especially if I'm competing against someone else. I tend to feel bad for them, and then I feel guilty, which makes winning feel like a negative thing.

So I've fought really hard against my competitiveness, especially since I have a twin sister, and I feel bad whenever something goes better for me than for her. I always sort of hope that if something has to go wrong for one of us, that it will go wrong for me, as terrible as that sounds...

Anyway, it's interesting that not all empaths are competitive. And this is only a theory, but I think the main reason is that some of us are "sensation seekers" and some are "non-sensation seekers." A sensation seeker loves to feel the heightened emotions of life (examples could be adrenaline, love, or winning), and a non-sensation seeker likes a more easygoing, low-key kind of life.

I'm a sensation seeker, but like most of you, I'm also a highly sensitive person, which means I tend to have "one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake." In other words, while I love the thrill of winning, being highly sensitive leads me to have mixed emotions about it when others are involved.

And others are usually involved, even when I'm working alone. Like for example, in my high school art classes, people would compliment my work, and they actually said "I hate you!" (joking around)... I could feel their jealousy, but I also felt some true anger from them, all joking aside.

So I've learned that comparing is bound to happen in life, unless I keep all of my work hidden away, which is a sad thought.

This is such an interesting topic.. I have had a very similar experience to what you described.My perspective is that being Empaths has a lot to do with our lack of close friends. Since other empaths can be hard to find in everday life, it's seems to be rare for us to connect with people who understand us anywhere near as well as we understand them.Plus, kind of like Reckless was saying, wanting close relationships with others can make them think we like them as more than friends, and then things often get a lot more complicated (at least in my experience). Close friendships can really resemble romantic ones sometimes.I want to have closer relationships with people, but I feel so different. Of course it's not that I can't relate to others, but I think our differences make it hard for them to relate to me.The closest relationships I have are with my family. I don't know what I'd do without them! But that sure is a stark contrast with all the other relationships in my life...

So tomorrow I will be singing in front of a lot of people. I'm not sure how many people on here will read this by tomorrow, but if any of you have some advice for controlling anxiety long enough to not mess up a performance, I would love to hear

I'm probably not the only one, but in front of a group I always feel like I am unable to perform as well as I could when I'm alone. Like I practically turn into a different person or something! It's pretty frustrating.

(oh and even after tomorrow, I'd still love to hear your suggestions. This is one of the topics that really interests me)

Sorry this reply is kinda late :/ but I wanted to say that I relate really, really well with a bunch of things you said:

-feeling for others so deeply, having better feelings when alone, "closing off" at least a little bit for protection, mood swings, intuition

Also, I'm Christian, too But I would never tell anyone from Church (except my family) because you're right - there is a stigma. And while seeing ourselves as empaths is not necessarily contrary to religious beliefs, it can definitely be seen as contrary.. What I wanted to say is that I 100% agree with you that being an empath doesn't contradict my religion. It actually strengthens my beliefs.

And especially because of some seemingly lesser-recognized doctrine, that Christ also suffered in the garden of gethsemane for all of humanity, before His crucifixion and resurrection.

He felt all of the pain and trials and heartache of all of our lives at once and it caused Him to bleed at every pore. To me, this helps me understand the gifts we've been given (I see them as gifts, too), because I believe it's through Him that we are given these abilities. He knows how each of us feel at any given moment, perfectly, and it amazes me that He has entrusted us with a small fraction of this for others... <3

Oh, that makes more sense.. And these abilities are pretty hard to explain to people. That's really good that you can talk to your Dad about it, though

And that's interesting what Waxing Gibbous said about intentions. I think one of my empathic gifts is actually to be able to determine others' intentions. I seem to have a high awareness of them. I wonder how common it is for empaths to have this ability..