When they finished eating, Zach packed the leftovers back into the basket and set it aside.
“See?” he pointed out. “I’m leaving it here. . .I’m not taking it home with me. . .so. . .I Didn’t Steal it!. . .we just borrowed it for a minute. . .whoever owns it can come get it now. . .See?”
“Weak. . .” muttered Harper Bailey.
“I have to find a bathroom,” said Pepper, still very enamored of the idea of hanging out with a ‘Bad Boy’.With a dreamy smile, Pepper said, “Zach? You Are Very Cool!”
When she returned she found them on the teeter-totter and over-heard them say:
“Dude, why you got to tell her I’m a thief?” Zach asked in a hurt and angry voice.
“Uh. . .What?. . .when I say that?” Harper Bailey asked, confused. “I never said you a Thief! . . .Dude. . .I wouldn’t Smear you. . .Hey. . .uh. . .A Thief?. . .dude, not me. . .”
“You said I stole that stuff!”
“Well. . .yeah. . .uh. . .Sure. . .but that don’t make you a Thief!. . .Dude. . .what you take me for?. . .Huh?. . .”
. . .and it all sounded a little too mean and nasty, so she asked; “Harper Bailey? Will you tell me a ghost story?”
Both boys stopped their bickering and said, “Sure!”
“Okay. . .uh. . .uh. . .“ Harper Bailey began. “This be the story of. . .uh. . .uh. . .Thing Somebody--”
“Oh Crap!” sighed Zach.
“Hush!” hissed Pepper.
“Uh. . .yeah. . .Hush!. . .“ reiterated Harper Bailey. “Uh. . .okay. . .where I be. . .uh. . .Hey! Where this flashlight come from?. . .Zach?. . .Where this flashlight come from?”
“Guess you must have brought it. . .get on with the story, dude. . .”
But Harper Bailey was puzzled. “I didn’t bring no flashlight. . .”
“Just tell the damn story, will ya?” griped Zach; if he had to listen to Thing Somebody stories, Harper Bailey better tell them quick.
“Uh. . .okay. . .but I be confuzzled dude. . .okay. . .uh. . .anyways. . .this be the story of Thing Somebody. . .Now Thing Somebody controls everythin’ everybody do. . .so one day this real real nice kid was just minding his own business, not doin’ nothin’ to nobody, swear it, he be a real sweet dude . . .a real real real nice kid, somethin’ like me. . .uh. . .okay okay. . .and this real real nice kid, he be minding his own damn self, remember?. . .not Botherin’ Nobody!. . . and Thing Somebody just creeped up on him and started messin’ with his life. . .”

. . .and the rambling, incoherent story went on until dark. . .
When they finally made it home Zach stretched out on a lounge chair by the pool and Pepper gave a great big yawn.
“You prob’bly ought to go to bed,: said Harper Bailey, bending down to hug his sister.
“Thanks for the best day ever, Harper Bailey. . .and. . .thanks for the weird story. . .you should probably read a book or two. . .your stories would be better if you did.”
“Uh. . .What?!. . .Hey. . .My story was da-bomb, Baby. . .it prob’bly just too grown up for you is all. . .okay. . .uh. . .go to bed. . .”
“Good night Zach!” Pepper called out as she skipped off into the house. A ‘Bad Boy’! A Real Honest-To-Goodness ‘Bad Boy’!. . .and She got to hang out with him All Weekend. . .‘Wait until I tell my friends--’ she thought.
“Zach. . .uh. . .I’m angstifyed and confuzzled, dude. . .where that flashlight come from?”
“Not that again! Harper Bailey. . .it’s just some regular thing. . .why are you trippin’ over some regular thing?”
“Cuz I don’t remember bringin’ it. . .”
“Oh, crap, Harper Bailey. . .give it up. . .either you don’t think At All or you think Too Much. . .just chill. . .”
“Okay,” said Harper Bailey with a shrug. “Nothin’ I can do about it anyways. . .Hey. . .uh. . .Oooh. . .Oooh. . .What you want do Now?. . .Huh?. . .”
. . .THIS. . .Zach thought. . .This is what I want to do now. . .
But he said, “Let’s just go for a swim.”
“Can you make me breakfast?” Pepper asked the next morning, sitting at the table and feeling powerfully hungry.
“The stove’s all broke. . .don‘t know why,” said Harper Bailey, wondering why kids had to wake everybody up before noon. “Grab some cereal or somethin’. Hey Pepper. . .you got any money?. . .we could get us a pizza!”
“I’ll just go get the cereal,” Pepper said. “I’m not spending my allowance on a pizza I won’t even get a slice of. You want some cereal Zach?”
Zach looked up from the newspaper. “No thanks, Shorty. . .but real nice of you to ask, glad somebody around here has enough manners to offer. . .you dig, Harper Bailey?!” and he went back to reading.
“Ah. . .Bite Me!” said Harper Bailey with a scowl. . .it was too early to be ragged on.
“Holy Crap!” shouted Zach. “Dude! We’re in the paper!”
“For What?! Hey. . .did somebody complain to the cops about their picnic basket?. . .Cuz. Dude. . . I didn’t have nothin’ to do with that so they better not be blamin‘ me!”
“Ohmygod, dude. . .Will you shut up about the freakin‘ dumb picnic basket!?. . .No. . .look here. . .that reviewer guy Wrote About US!!!. . .Listen. . .

’”Rage” took the stage at “Pit” two weeks ago, to a very empty house. Bad luck for those who missed it’. . .

Just in case you all be wonderin’. . .my parents get all their stuff at a place called TSR. . .like that big red paintin’ in the basement. . .it be called “Crazy Red”. . .by abuk0. . .and them sofas. . .they be Chester Fields. . .I don’t know who this dude Chester be. . .but an artist named eryt96 made ‘em. . .I can find out who made other stuff if you want. . .or you can just go shoppin’ there yourself. . .they don’t mind. . .

I have to admot, Harper Bailey is really interesting! You know, I kept thinking that the events are really going at random here, but there is an invisible thread tying all this up together... Which makes this series all the more intriguing Great job, orlov Very entertaining read! *clap clap*

This ... guy ... is just such a disaster. OMG, his poor dad. I'm glad Kirby moved on, he's totally too good for either of these clowns. And hah ... they got a good review in the paper. Haaaaaaah ... on to bigger and better gigs now? Though I wonder--can anyone besides HB sing?

This was my absolute favorite!! Pepper could travel around with Harper Bailey (now that he may be a real rock star and all) and be his interpreter. She seems to understand him perfectly! At least the girl knows how to dress; out of a trunk, anyway. HB may have a screw loose or something, but he's totally adorable.

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