Epic failure has a new home.

Might As Well Jump

People who like to jump: David Lee Roth. Hayden Christensen. The people in this movie. Count Chen Fuchao out of this group. After several hours of threatening to jump to his death from a bridge in China, Mr. Fuchao was “helped along” by a friendly Chinese passerby, Lai Jiansheng, who shook hands with him and then gave him a little push on his way. Jiansheng’s reasoning for pushing Fuchao — he was holding up traffic. And you thought L.A. freeways were tough.

I have a couple of observations here. First, according to Chinese reports (we all know how reliable those are), Mr. Fuchao was distraught over being in debt. Yeah. And? Sounds fishy. Second, the report states Mr. Fuchao fell 26 feet onto a partially inflated airbag suffering minor injuries. 26ft? Two stories? Way to go for the gold with ol’ suicide attempt Chen. No word if the partially inflated airbag was supplemented by a painting of an airbag on the concrete.