terrorist fist jab

Santa & Bush Conspired To Elect Obama!

Here they are, the two leaders of the Free World, exchanging a sexy “knuckle bump” under the new White House Christmas Tree. No wonder the transition to the Obama Administration is going so smoothly … these two were in on it. [White House]

Even Santa has taken up the terrorist fist bump, and there’s a giant elf next to Santa, laughing at his treachery. And what’s with all that terrible disco lighting in the background? This is not the Christmas I remember…

[re=203772]SayItWithWookies[/re]: This past week was too ridiculous for words. Was trolling other sites for political commentary, got nothing but all these earnest fucking idealists who were like “But I thought that Obama APPROVED of gay marriage?”. OAnyway, knew I couldn’t stay away too long. No one else even TOUCHES on buttsecks, trucknutz, or anything worth discussing.

Still pissed at Ken, but Jim’s diatribe, followed by Kev-o-tron’s misquote by Anderson Cooper was just too much to keep quiet on. Plus, I’m drunk. BTW, Kev-o, I may or may not have made out with your girlfriend a couple of nights ago. Does that make you MAD, MAD, MAD, or just mad mad mad?

[re=203789]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I have to admit that I was concerned about the hold that Campbell “Two Last Names is How You Get a Job at CNN” Brown had over you. BTW, emailed you at one of your email addresses, can’t remember which one right now.

I’m finding it challenging to masturbate without the all-seeing eyes of Campbell Brown leering upon me. Did we do something wrong? Why did she go away? Is it possible she’s just “slipping into something more comfortable” and will be back shortly? Can we at least have Larry King?

And this was how I found out it’s a weekend. No early Wonkette post usually equals holiday or heathen party time or something.

I’m surprised Bush didn’t spontaneously combust by touching Santa. One would think the concentrated evil would have an explosive adverse reaction when in contact with the super giving powers of teh Santa. Where is Santa’s reindeer honor guard? Was this a setup to trap Santa and send him to Guantanamo? “All your gifties are belong to us.”

A mean person just told me Santa isn’t real. They’re lying. Faith: I has it. I hope Santa remembers the hookers. I was very good this year.

Hey, that’s a cool, mind-altering Christmas scene at the White House.
That explains a lot of his decision-making in the past, so I now have a new-found respect for this Dubya dude, doooood.
(See that smoke hanging in the background, man). Like…

So Trig’s future (half-)brother or nephew sister’s baby momma/granma or something, wasn’t arrested for meth, but good ol’ GOP family values oxycontin. Yes, the chemical concoction favored by Rush, so it must be more acceptable than organic weed and shrooms

You know this picture made some on the far right heads explode. They already question Bush for expanding government, but to see him with Santa, a known member of the Red Menace, who teaches kids that they will get anything they want if they are good, must drive them to the edge. But to then see Santa and Bush exchange terrorist fist jabs. Well, now they know that 9/11 was an inside job.

It was Santa that took out World Trade Center Six! He must have convinced Rudolph to strap on a vest of C-4 and charge into the building in exchange for 72 virgin reindeer. Allahu Akbar indeed.

George Bush was not a good man —
He had his little ways.
And sometimes no one spoke to him
For days and days and days.
And men who came across him,
When walking in the town,
Gave him a supercilious stare,
Or passed with noses in the air —
And bad George Bush stood dumbly there,
Blushing beneath his brow.

George Bush was not a good man,
And no good friends had he.
He stayed in every afternoon…
But no one came to tea.
And, round about December,
The cards upon his shelf
Which wished him lots of Christmas cheer,
And fortune in the coming year,
Were never from his near and dear,
But only from himself.

George Bush was not a good man,
Yet had his hopes and fears.
They’d given him no present now
For years and years and years.
But every year at Christmas,
While minstrels stood about,
Collecting tribute from the young
For all the songs they might have sung,
He stole away upstairs and hung
A hopeful stocking out.

George Bush was not a good man,
He lived his live aloof;
Alone he thought a message out
While climbing up the roof.
He wrote it down and propped it
Against the chimney stack:
“TO ALL AND SUNDRY – NEAR AND FAR –
F. Christmas in particular.”
And signed it not “President Bush.”
But very humbly, “George.”

“I want some crackers,
And I want some candy;
I think a box of chocolates
Would come in handy;
I don’t mind oranges,
I do like nuts!
And I SHOULD like a pocket-knife
That really cuts.
And, oh! Father Christmas, if you love me at all,
Bring me a big, red, india-rubber ball!”

George Bush was not a good man —
He wrote this message out,
And gat him to this room again,
Descending by the spout.
And all that night he lay there,
A prey to hopes and fears.
“I think that’s him a-coming now!”
(Anxiety bedewed his brow.)
“He’ll bring one present, anyhow —
The first I had for years.”

“Forget about the crackers,
And forget the candy;
I’m sure a box of chocolates
Would never come in handy;
I don’t like oranges,
I don’t want nuts,
And I HAVE got a pocket-knife
That almost cuts.
But, oh! Father christmas, if you love me at all,
Bring me a big, red, india-rubber ball!”

George Bush was not a good man,
Next morning when the sun
Rose up to tell a waiting world
That Christmas had begun,
And people seized their stockings,
And opened them with glee,
And crackers, toys and games appeared,
And lips with sticky sweets were smeared,
George Bush said grimly: “As I feared,
Nothing again for me!”

“I did want crackers,
And I did want candy;
I know a box of chocolates
Would come in handy;
I do love oranges,
I did want nuts!
And, oh! if Father Christmas, had loved me at all,
He would have brought a big, red,
india-rubber ball!”

George Bush stood by the window,
And frowned to see below
The happy bands of boys and girls
All playing in the snow.
A while he stood there watching,
And envying them all …
When through the window big and red
There hurtled by his decider head,
And bounced and fell upon the bed,
An india-rubber ball!

AND, OH, FATHER CHRISTMAS,
MY BLESSINGS ON YOU FALL
FOR BRINGING HIM
A BIG, RED,
INDIA-RUBBER
BALL!

“Baydan has received orders for 300,000 pairs of the shoes since the attack, more than four times the number his company sold each year since the model was introduced in 1999. The company plans to employ 100 more staff to meet demand”

Bush is just practicing the fist/terrorist jab so he has it down pat when he hands over the reigns to Hopey on Jan 20. Hopey, on the other hand (ha), plans to return the gesture but miss thereby giving little georgie a shiner he won’t soon forget. The Iraqi media will applaud. Good times, good times.

The lady next to Santa looks like the one who is such a scream in all the mockumentaries by whats-his-name, like “Spinal Tap,” “Best in Show,” and “A Mighty Wind.” Do you think they managed to get W into a mockumentary by telling him it would be an honor to him and his lega…lega … can’t quite type that … cy…

[re=203889]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I have some drunken Arabic poetry for you:
Now,
With the sad rain
Drenching my sad face,
I dream of a ladder of dust,
Collected from hunched backs
And hands clinging onto knees,
To mount to highest heaven,
For Ass fucking, nothing more,
Like a dirty Sanchez in a lost
winter crevasse.

Oh my — here’s what they were lisening to that evening. I’m not sure about it — it’s either worse than the Barney video or else I should just get a lobotomy and stop thinking about it.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_lJ4DMcOEo

[re=203897]SayItWithWookies[/re]: We must fight this Angel. This Angel of love. The Angel of Love has called us to the glory of his altar. For Allah and stuffs. Darkness stirs up hymns and songs, Its joy pervades the water, trees and clouds. Let us dream now, for this is our night of love. Let us stand along the Nile—- where moonlight, lustrous as a baby’s skin, floods the green bank beyond its water and its shade.
Let us play as it plays, kissing the roses and the dew. Fuck you all (hypothetically). Merry Hanukkah.

[re=203925]Come here a minute[/re]: Of course 9/11 was Cheney’s high point. Cheney thrives on carnage, Tiger. He consumes, infests, destroys, lives off the death and destruction of other species.

I thought the interesting part of the interview was when he stated that on Christmas eight years ago he was visited by three spirits. The middle spirit revealed under its robes two spectral children named Ignorance and Scooter Libby. He liked them so much that he shot the middle spirit in the face and took the two children in to help him as Vice President.

[re=203922]rocktonsammy[/re]: Santa knows if you’ve been bad or good, which is an ethical distinction Republicans and Chicago Democrats are incapable of. Also Santa crosses borders and gives treats to all, but only the ones made in his own factory. Jesus fed the masses with one fish, hated materialism and .

Speaking of Walnuts, one of the newest products offered by LivingNutz is their mouth-watering Tahitian Vanilla Bean Coconut Creme. The word on the street is that it’s so good, couples are skipping the foreplay and heading right for the Tahitian Vanilla Bean Coconut Cream walnuts!http://www.naturalnews.com/024858.html

[re=203938]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: Cured the lepers for free? Yeah, as long as they promised everlasting spiritual fidelity to his father the Sky Fairy.

How little you know what Jesus expected from the flock in return. Why the fuck do you think his posse, and the rest of the Jews, let Pilate set Barrabas free? Even then Jesus was well known for his ability to make people going about their daily lives feel guilty as hell. There’s been a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth since he was offed, but not even the most devout believers ever say they really miss the guy and can’t wait for him to come back. He’s definitely a congenital sad sack.