Google rolls out fibre to 3 million Ugandans: Ni marungi*, nyan cat

Forget net neutrality, you fools! Here, have some pussy

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Ad kingpin Google is flashing its talons in Kampala, Uganda, where it has built - in its own words - "a super-fast, high-capacity fibre network to enable any local mobile operator or ISP to connect more people" in the African city.

It makes altruistic claims about supporting a "new crop of entrepreneurs and innovators", as well as public services such as hospitals, all of whom can now apparently plug into faster internet speeds courtesy of its "quality infrastructure".

Project Link’s network is available today to connect providers to long-distance fibre lines, equipping them with near-unlimited capacity to build and expand services to Ugandans. By making this connection, we’re strengthening a crucial piece of the internet supply chain.

Some parts of the chain are already strong: undersea cables are bringing data to Africa’s shores and mobile providers are expanding services across the continent. We’ve now built quality infrastructure in between these points to deliver the speed and capacity that supports the latest and greatest of the web.

And what online properties might Google be referring to, you may ask? Perhaps you should simply just Google that question.

Over the course of the last five years, Google has become an aggressive telco as it expanded its private network empire, deployed more fibre and abandoned the notion of "net neutrality" to piss on the chips of other OTT players.

In Kampala, Google noted that it is tapping a new revenue stream out of, er, Africa because local providers can now hook up to its network "to offer new mobile data plans or high-speed internet for office buildings and universities".

Sub-Saharan Africa, as a part of the developing world, offers some of the fastest-growing markets on the planet. In over-saturated Europe and the US, businesses and services struggle to differentiate themselves and have to battle on price.

What does this mean, then?

Put succinctly, Google has built a network for local ISPs and mobile operators in the Ugandan city, who pay Mountain View to allow them to sell broadband packages to the three million locals living in Kampala, who can then use their faster connections to watch cute cat vids on YouTube. ®