Divorce Counselling Tips

Marriage is a life-long commitment. Premarital Counseling is a therapy that serves to help couples prepare for their wedlock. It aids in ensuring that you and your partner forge a healthy and a strong relationship in the long run making way for a successful, happy and a satisfying marriage. It also helps you in spotting out the weaknesses early that can later magnify into troubles muddling up your conjugal life. The sessions are usually conducted by licensed and qualified therapists when a couple is considering marriage or are about to get into marriage.

Why is pre-marital counseling at all necessary?

Matching all Aspects: Through this sort of counseling, couples are motivated to initiate conversation pertaining to marriage such as anger management, devoting time for each other, decision-making, family relationships, parenting and children, sex and affection, marital roles, ethics and beliefs, communication and finances.

Communication and Conflict Resolution: Pre-marital Counseling helps partners in improving their ability to communicate with each other, setting sensible marriage goals, as well as skillfully resolving conflicts. In addition to these, premarital counseling also seeks to create a positive attitude for your conjugal life.

Acclimatizing: Remember that you carry your own history, opinions, and values in a relationship and they might vary with your partner who has had an entirely different life with their own and unique experiences. Adjusting to each other as different human beings can be quite a task in itself. Marriage counseling helps in acclimatizing, accepting to the bad and good parts of both the partners.

Becoming a support for each other: Most people rush into marriage to gratify their financial, social, emotional, and sexual needs, but such a mind set is always a gamble. You may hit it off greatly with you partner and then have troubles later on. Clearing out your expectations and bridging the differences prior to marriage would enhance your understanding of each other. This way you can become a source of great support for each other.

Break the pattern: Both or one of you might belong to a divorced or a dysfunctional family where manipulation and fighting was the norm. Premarital Counseling can actually help you to come out of your fear and make peace with your past so that the mistakes of your parents aren’t repeated in your life.

Averting divorce: Owing to the modern lifestyle, the chances of divorce are rising with each passing day. Therefore, early intervention is indeed the need of the hour. Premarital counseling can help you pinpoint areas of major concern and work to resolve them or work around them to avoid issues which may balloon and end up in a worst case scenario for a marriage, which is divorce.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

Marriage is a life-long commitment. Premarital Counseling is a therapy that serves to help couples prepare for their wedlock. It aids in ensuring that you and your partner forge a healthy and a strong relationship in the long run making way for a successful, happy and a satisfying marriage. It also helps you in spotting out the weaknesses early that can later magnify into troubles muddling up your conjugal life. The sessions are usually conducted by licensed and qualified therapists when a couple is considering marriage or are about to get into marriage.

Why is pre-marital counseling at all necessary?

Matching all Aspects: Through this sort of counseling, couples are motivated to initiate conversation pertaining to marriage such as anger management, devoting time for each other, decision-making, family relationships, parenting and children, sex and affection, marital roles, ethics and beliefs, communication and finances.

Communication and Conflict Resolution: Pre-marital Counseling helps partners in improving their ability to communicate with each other, setting sensible marriage goals, as well as skillfully resolving conflicts. In addition to these, premarital counseling also seeks to create a positive attitude for your conjugal life.

Acclimatizing: Remember that you carry your own history, opinions, and values in a relationship and they might vary with your partner who has had an entirely different life with their own and unique experiences. Adjusting to each other as different human beings can be quite a task in itself. Marriage counseling helps in acclimatizing, accepting to the bad and good parts of both the partners.

Becoming a support for each other: Most people rush into marriage to gratify their financial, social, emotional, and sexual needs, but such a mind set is always a gamble. You may hit it off greatly with you partner and then have troubles later on. Clearing out your expectations and bridging the differences prior to marriage would enhance your understanding of each other. This way you can become a source of great support for each other.

Break the pattern: Both or one of you might belong to a divorced or a dysfunctional family where manipulation and fighting was the norm. Premarital Counseling can actually help you to come out of your fear and make peace with your past so that the mistakes of your parents aren’t repeated in your life.

Averting divorce: Owing to the modern lifestyle, the chances of divorce are rising with each passing day. Therefore, early intervention is indeed the need of the hour. Premarital counseling can help you pinpoint areas of major concern and work to resolve them or work around them to avoid issues which may balloon and end up in a worst case scenario for a marriage, which is divorce.

If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a specilized psychologist and ask a free question.

According to a study conducted by “Psychology Today”, it was found that couples who underwent a pre-marriage counselling have had more mutual understanding and lesser divorce rates. Given the staggering rate of divorce these days, it is wise to go through a pre-marriage counselling before tying the knots. Here are the top 10 benefits of a pre-marriage counselling:

Discuss the hot topics: The biggest benefit of a pre-marriage counselling is the fact that most of the hot topics such as which religion will the children follow, what happens when the in-laws interfere in the relationship, which car to buy etc. reach an easy consent. This step will help to settle down on some of the most important events of life without having to fight, argue or divorce.

Wisdom of the counsellor: The wisdom of a marriage counsellor goes a long way in settling some of the initial apprehensions of marriage. Having gone through the process of marriage and counselling many others, a counsellor knows where the shoe pinches and how to address them maturely.

Set the expectation right: A pre-marriage counsellor helps to set the expectation right for both the bride and the groom. An open discussion helps a couple gauge the kind of adjustments they must do after marriage. This ensures that there are no pretensions with each other.

Communication: Communication is by far the most important aspect of a relationship. A counselling session helps a couple understand the importance of listening to each other, discussing issues without arguing and not taking each other for granted.

Review finance: Finance is a big matter of discussion for any couple. Be it the monthly budget, savings, spending everything is related to finance. Although uncomfortable, both the partners might discuss the financial situation at great length to avoid any unnecessary complications going forward. A pre-marriage counselling helps in doing just that.

Discuss what matters the most: A pre-marriage counselling gives a couple the chance to discuss what matters the most to them. For instance, it can be career, freedom, space or anything. This counselling session will help the partners find out about each other’s passion.

Discover the unknown: This session gives a unique chance to the partners to find out things that never got discussed before. Stuff like past trauma, hidden talent, untold emotions and so on are included here.

Prevent the stumble: It has become fairly common among couples to split within months of marriage because of disagreements. A pre-marriage session can greatly help to avoid such a situation by making perspectives clear to each other.

Lay down the rules: A marriage is the union of two lives. It is, therefore, necessary to understand the do’s and the don’ts. Understanding the liking and the disliking of each other is essential for a marriage to survive.

Discuss the future: Above all, a pre-marriage counsellor helps couples to understand what they want. Since both of them influence each other a great deal, discussing future such as children, time needed for the family, personal goals etc. can be discussed. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Psychologist.

This is one of the complex cases of relationship and marital issues which we dealt with counselling.

Rahul and Anjali as a couple approached to us for their relationshipissue, where they wanted to get married. Rahul was the CEO in his company, while Anjali was a junior consultant in the same office. They have been dating for 6 years, where Anjali is a divorcee and Rahul is already married to Tina. Due to this, several issues raised with his extramarital affair with Anjali.

Since the past 6 years due to his job, Rahul spent a lot of time with Anjali, and as their intellectual matched, especially because of the same chosen profession, the friendship turned into the affair in no time. They started going out together, to various restaurants, movies and even booked room for themselves in fancy hotels during their trips.

Anjali was aware of his marriage throughout and yet wished to be with him at any cost. She wanted to marry him either with a no objection letter signed by Tina or convincing Rahul to convert to Islam, where he would easily get married to her without any legal hassles.

As the counselling sessions progressed, Rahul in an individual session said that Anjali is quite clingy, possessive and deeply in love with him. Rahul also reported that he tried getting out of the relationship several times. Anjali emotionally blackmailed him, mutilated herself through various ways and even threatened him about committing suicide, which made him afraid to do so.

During Anjali’s initial individualcounselling sessions, we observed that she is emotionally unstable and had a history of futile relationships and failed marriage. She even lost her father during early childhood and was raised by her mother. After the divorce, she is the sole bread earner of the family with a lot of responsibilities.

We had individualcounselling sessions with Tina also. During these counselling sessions, we got to know that Rahul and Tina have been together for about 18 years, involving 8 years of courtship and 10 years of love marriage. They also have a child of 9 years old. Tina is a homemaker; she got married after her graduation, where her entire life now revolved around Rahul and his joint family. For the last two years, Tina had been aware off about her husband’s extramarital affair, due to which their marriage suffered a lot. In their marriage, they had serious understanding issues from the beginning.

Further, during a couplecounselling session, Tina conveyed to Rahul that she is ready to leave him forever along with the kid and happily give divorce to start a new life with Anjali. But Rahul said no for divorce.

We also did a conjoint session with Anjali and Rahul, where they desired for three of them to live happily in future under one roof after Tina’s written consent for the marriage.

During a group session with three of them, Tina made it clear to them that she won’t give the NOC and Rahul has to make a choice amongst them, and it was either his family or his girlfriend. To which Rahul was certain that he didn’t want to leave Tina and his child at all. Anjali was very desperate of being with him, so she begged Tina for allowing her husband. But Tina was assertive on her part.

Later, Tina got pregnant, which brought a positive hope in their marriage. Rahul took a stand for his family and started drifting away from Anjali. After Tina’s pregnancy, it was evident to Anjali that she did not play much of an importance in his life. She threw a lot of tantrums; it was difficult for her to accept the reality until quite long and ultimately gave up.

At present, Rahul is well settled back with Tina and two kids. He is running his own venture now. Similarly, Anjali has also moved on and is happily married to someone else.

Getting through an ugly divorce is quite a difficult thing, no matter what the reason might be. Your world can turn upside down after a divorce and you have to make a fresh new start in life. Here are some tips you should follow to get through an ugly divorce:

Accept the fact that it is okay to have different feelings: All feelings like sadness, anger, exhaustion, frustration and confusion are quite intense after a divorce. You should accept these reactions and they will surely decrease with time.

You need to give yourself a break: Accept the fact that you are weak and time is required to be back to normal functioning. Your work performance can be affected as well. Taking a break is a must after a divorce.

Do not try to go through the situation alone: You should share your feelings with your friends and family, and you will surely get help. Joining support groups can also be fruitful. Isolation makes your condition worse; so you must go out, interact and share stuff.

You should take proper emotional and physical care of your body: Eat timely, work out and relax. Try to maintain your normal daily routine and do not make major life decisions during this point of life. Abstain from too much alcohol and cigarettes as they are not a solution.

Avoid ugly situations: Avoid talking to your former spouse as discussions may lead to ugly situations and fights, which would enhance your misery.

Take a hobby: Try to do things you love to do from your heart. Join classes, take music lessons, paint pictures and slowly try to enjoy life. Making new friends is also a good idea.

Think positive: Positive thinking is a must and if you engross yourself in positive, constructive activities, you are likely to feel good. You need to be flexible and in case you have children, do your best to provide them an ideal atmosphere for adjusting to the situation.

Time can heal everything: Keep one thing in mind that life will eventually return to normal. Time heals everything and one day you will not be affected anymore.

Talk to your children and help them cope: You need to provide proper care to your kids for coping with the situation. Talk to your children and make them understand that they are not responsible for the divorce by any means. Try to ease their concerns, be compassionate, but maintain a direct approach. Maintain your child's routine exactly how it used to be, so that they feel less amount of sudden change. Do not involve your children in the conflict in any way.

A divorce is extremely difficult to cope with, as one has never faced or felt such a situation before. With proper support and measures, you can get over a divorce much more easily.

It is important to seek for Divorce Counseling when you are undergoing a process of divorce as it takes both emotional and mental toll on your overall well-being. Most of the time for a person, marriage becomes the whole life; then you are not able to deal with these issues on your own. Hence, seeking out for professional counselor for divorce counseling (individual) becomes important.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology reveals that couples who opt for pre-marital counselling experience higher levels of conjugal satisfaction than couples who don’t go for it. Moreover, these couples, experience a 30% drop in the possibility of divorce over a 5-year period.

Pre-marital counselling is a wise choice as it can help you and your partner to better understand the dynamics of your relationship and build the foundation of a happy future together.

A pre-marital counselling helps you with the following factors-

Hygiene: Apart from stressing on the importance of personal health and hygiene, you would also hear a gynaecologist, emphasizing on the significance of sexual hygiene for a problem-free married life. While preventing infections that may affect your reproductive system, maintaining sexual hygiene can also significantly elevate the overall hygiene levels of your entire body.

Sex: Pre-marital sex counselling is essential as it helps to fill in the gaps in your knowledge of sex. During your consultation with a gynaecologist, you can expect to receive information about the male and female anatomy as well as about the actual act. Even thoughts like “sex can be painful” get addressed during the counselling.

Contraceptives: Counselling sessions with a gynaecologist can also help you in getting your facts right about pregnancy. He or she could guide you on how to work out safe and unsafe days to have sex; talk to you about contraceptive methods; and best family planning practices.

Folic acid for pregnancy: During a counselling session, you can expect to be encouraged by a gynaecologist to have Vitamin B (folic acid) before and during your pregnancy to avert birth defects in the brain and spinal cord of your potential offspring.

Vaccines: Opting for a counselling session before marriage can help you to learn about vaccines that will protect you against cervical cancer (cancer of the cervix caused mainly by HPV- a virus) and rubella (a disease caused by the rubella virus, which can cause miscarriage, birth defects and stillbirth).

Medical investigations: You should also expect investigations based on the following tests-

Complete blood count test: The aim of this test is to assess your overall health and identify a range of disorders such as anaemia, leukaemia, and infection to name a few.

Fasting/blood sugar test: The test is performed to diagnose diabetes. A fasting blood glucose level of less than 100mg/dl is considered normal.

Thyroid stimulating hormone test: This test is taken to check for problems in the thyroid gland.

Rubella test: It is used to identify antibodies that are formed in the blood, as a result of immunisation or the rubella infection.

Urine microscopy: The test helps in determining the condition of your urinary tract and kidney. It identifies injury, presence of disease or inflammation of these areas. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Psychologist.

A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology reveals that couples who opt for pre-marital counselling experience higher levels of conjugal satisfaction than couples who don’t go for it. Moreover, these couples, the study says, experience a 30% drop in the possibility of divorce over a 5-year period.

Pre-marital counselling is a wise choice as it can help you and your partner to better understand the dynamics of your relationship and build the foundation of a happy future together.

A pre-marital counselling helps you with the following factors-

1. Hygiene

Apart from stressing on the importance of personal health and hygiene, you would also hear a gynaecologist emphasising on the significance of sexual hygiene for a problem-free married life. While preventing infections that may affect your reproductive system, maintaining sexual hygiene can also significantly elevate the overall hygiene levels of your entire body.

2. Sex

Pre-marital sex counselling is essential as it helps to fill in the gaps in your knowledge of sex. During your consultation with a gynaecologist, you can expect to receive information about the male and female anatomy as well as about the actual act. Even thoughts like “sex can be painful” get addressed during the counselling.

3. Contraceptives

Counselling sessions with a gynaecologist can also help you in getting your facts right about pregnancy. He or she could guide you on how to work out safe and unsafe days to have sex; talk to you about contraceptive methods; and best family planning practices.

4. Folic acid for pregnancy

During a counselling session, you can expect to be encouraged by a gynaecologist to have Vitamin B (folic acid) before and during your pregnancy to avert birth defects in the brain and spinal cord of your potential offspring.

5. Vaccines

Opting for a counselling session before marriage can help you to learn about vaccines that will protect you against cervical cancer (cancer of the cervix caused mainly by HPV- a virus) and rubella (a disease caused by the rubella virus, which can cause miscarriage, birth defects and stillbirth).

6. Medical investigations

You should also expect investigations based on the following tests-

a. Complete blood count test: The aim of this test is to assess your overall health and identify a range of disorders such as anaemia, leukaemia, and infection to name a few.

b. Fasting/blood sugar test: The test is performed to diagnose diabetes. A fasting blood glucose level of less than 100mg/dl is considered normal.

c. Thyroid stimulating hormone test: This test is taken to check for problems in the thyroid gland.

d. Rubella test: It is used to identify antibodies that are formed in the blood, as a result of immunisation or the rubella infection.

A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology reveals that couples who opt for pre-marital counselling experience higher levels of conjugal satisfaction than couples who don’t go for it. Moreover, these couples, experience a 30% drop in the possibility of divorce over a 5-year period.

Pre-marital counselling is a wise choice as it can help you and your partner to better understand the dynamics of your relationship and build the foundation of a happy future together.

A pre-marital counselling helps you with the following factors-

Hygiene: Apart from stressing on the importance of personal health and hygiene, you would also hear a gynaecologist, emphasizing on the significance of sexual hygiene for a problem-free married life. While preventing infections that may affect your reproductive system, maintaining sexual hygiene can also significantly elevate the overall hygiene levels of your entire body.

Sex: Pre-marital sex counselling is essential as it helps to fill in the gaps in your knowledge of sex. During your consultation with a gynaecologist, you can expect to receive information about the male and female anatomy as well as about the actual act. Even thoughts like “sex can be painful” get addressed during the counselling.

Contraceptives: Counselling sessions with a gynaecologist can also help you in getting your facts right about pregnancy. He or she could guide you on how to work out safe and unsafe days to have sex; talk to you about contraceptive methods; and best family planning practices.

Folic acid for pregnancy: During a counselling session, you can expect to be encouraged by a gynaecologist to have Vitamin B (folic acid) before and during your pregnancy to avert birth defects in the brain and spinal cord of your potential offspring.

Vaccines: Opting for a counselling session before marriage can help you to learn about vaccines that will protect you against cervical cancer (cancer of the cervix caused mainly by HPV- a virus) and rubella (a disease caused by the rubella virus, which can cause miscarriage, birth defects and stillbirth).

Medical investigations: You should also expect investigations based on the following tests-

Complete blood count test: The aim of this test is to assess your overall health and identify a range of disorders such as anaemia, leukaemia, and infection to name a few.

Fasting/blood sugar test: The test is performed to diagnose diabetes. A fasting blood glucose level of less than 100mg/dl is considered normal.

Thyroid stimulating hormone test: This test is taken to check for problems in the thyroid gland.

Rubella test: It is used to identify antibodies that are formed in the blood, as a result of immunisation or the rubella infection.

Urine microscopy: The test helps in determining the condition of your urinary tract and kidney. It identifies injury, presence of disease or inflammation of these areas. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a psychologist.

Couple seeks professional Pre-marital Counsellor’s help to prevent or to understand and resolve difficulties that arise in their relationship. They have doubts so seek assurance to create a long lasting intimate relationship. Pre-marital Counselling helps the couple:

To identify the strengths and weaknesses in their relationshipso they can build resilience for a healthy marriage.

To increases the empathy and self-disclosure skills so that the person can put oneself in the other person’s shoes and communicate more honestly and openly.

To discuss each partner’s family-of-origin and clear the emotional baggage if anyone has.

To motivate to invest quality time and energy needed to improve their marriage.

To learn how to be assertive and best coping strategies to resolve the conflicts.

How to build a long-lasting, satisfying, healthy and successfulrelationship.

To enter into marriage with more awareness, clarity and understanding.

To offer rich resources to enhance their emotional bond between them and their respective families.

How to be positive when the relationship is going through difficult times.

To differentiate between realistic and unrealistic expectations from each other.

To openly discuss financial management.

To make a relationship or partner a part of life, not the whole life.

To learn how their daily positive interactions or routine impact their relations.

To overtly talk and explore sexual issues without any hesitations.

To check the compatibility between them.

To acknowledge and accept dysfunctional behaviour like dominance,control and do necessary corrections for long-lasting relationships.

To give adequate individual space to each other.

To show appreciation and affection towards each other.

To accept each other for whom you are and make you realize the importance of self-love.

To set the boundaries in your relationship.

To understand a partner’s personality from a professional perspective.

To make a healthy and working relationship with in-laws.

To comprehend the role of spiritual believes which are important for your partner.

To clearly talk about personal habits and lifestyle.

To discuss past issues and insecurities impacting current relationships.

To aware potential future problems and how to deal with them.

To realize the importance of patience and forgiveness.

Couple to develop healthy attitudes and skills, to interact with their prospective partners respectfully so that they can sustain their strong foundation for loving, healthy marriage and familyrelationships.

Every relationship has its own ups and downs. Taking care of that relationship is one of the best things. you can do for your partner. If you are going through a rough patch in your relationship or indecisive about your marriage plans with your partner then you should visit us or a Pre-Marital Counsellor. There is a lot of certified professional Pre-Marital Counsellor like us who works as a couple facilitator and do online compatibility testing. Pre-Marital Counselling aids the couple to discover new things about themselves and the partner. Pre-Marital Counselling helps you to prepare for marriage and plan your future in such a way that can guarantee a divorce-free marriage.

Marriage is a life-long commitment. Premarital Counseling is a therapy that serves to help couples prepare for their wedlock. It aids in ensuring that you and your partner forge a healthy and a strong relationship in the long run making way for a successful, happy and a satisfying marriage. It also helps you in spotting out the weaknesses early that can later magnify into troubles muddling up your conjugal life. The sessions are usually conducted by licensed and qualified therapists when a couple is considering marriage or are about to get into marriage.

Why is pre-marital counseling at all necessary?

Matching all Aspects: Through this sort of counseling, couples are motivated to initiate conversation pertaining to marriage such as anger management, devoting time for each other, decision-making, family relationships, parenting and children, sex and affection, marital roles, ethics and beliefs, communication and finances.

Communication and Conflict Resolution: Pre-marital Counseling helps partners in improving their ability to communicate with each other, setting sensible marriage goals, as well as skillfully resolving conflicts. In addition to these, premarital counseling also seeks to create a positive attitude for your conjugal life.

Acclimatizing: Remember that you carry your own history, opinions, and values in a relationship and they might vary with your partner who has had an entirely different life with their own and unique experiences. Adjusting to each other as different human beings can be quite a task in itself. Marriage counseling helps in acclimatizing, accepting to the bad and good parts of both the partners.

Becoming a support for each other: Most people rush into marriage to gratify their financial, social, emotional, and sexual needs, but such a mind set is always a gamble. You may hit it off greatly with you partner and then have troubles later on. Clearing out your expectations and bridging the differences prior to marriage would enhance your understanding of each other. This way you can become a source of great support for each other.

Break the pattern: Both or one of you might belong to a divorced or a dysfunctional family where manipulation and fighting was the norm. Premarital Counseling can actually help you to come out of your fear and make peace with your past so that the mistakes of your parents aren’t repeated in your life.

Averting divorce: Owing to the modern lifestyle, the chances of divorce are rising with each passing day. Therefore, early intervention is indeed the need of the hour. Premarital counseling can help you pinpoint areas of major concern and work to resolve them or work around them to avoid issues which may balloon and end up in a worst case scenario for a marriage, which is divorce.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!