Saturday, 13 July 2013

The Taliban attacked BCC's 69 (Read : Nine Zero) wing, and claimed the responsibility of recovering 2 Rs from QQM headquarters, the Chota Chetan of QQM headquarters claims that Bara Chetan is peaceful like Gandhi, with cutting of abdomens, he meant to deliver a child who will fight for the independence of Mazloom people of Pakistan.

The martial law anniversary of His Highness, His excellency, Noor-e-Khuda , Mujahid-e-Islam, Zia-ul-Haqqani was celebrated with joy among the peepel of Pee M L (Noon), the party Chief and elected Prime Minister, Khaadim-e-Aala, Ameer-ul-Momineen, Mian Muhammad Nawaz Shareer, (RA), distributed sweets to Cheeni Pee-M, Baby Metro Maryam insisted on having two big Gulaab Jamuns, the Khalisa Saad Rafiq claimed that due to high oil prices in the international market, he will not eat Gulaab Jamun, and limit himself by eating a bit from Laddu. People flocked to Zia's grave to encounter the noor of Zia which is used to illuminate Faisal Mosque.

Prime Minister announced that he will build a Motorway between Peshawar and Karachi, it will help in energy crisis ,and a High speed train will create food for the starving people of Pakistan, He announced this while high on Desi Chinese drink.

Sorry for the disturbing and graphical content , welcome to news again. the ISI cheif claimed the Hamid Mir is dancing on CIA's agenda, and he drinks with women, sleeps with men, he explained that uncle Mushi got Pakistan attacked for his own personal gains, while reading this Fazlu bhai burped aloud and ran away.

Karachi remained peaceful as always, the headquarters of Lyari, London , Garhi Khuda Baksh and Kati Pahari remained silent, loving and compassionate as always.

The secular lobby of Pakistan celebrated the overthrowing of Mosri in Misr, they say that Army brings the true democracy, when referred to Pakistan's history of martial laws, they scratched their butts and fingered their peephole

This is all from the Breaking Lose and Aham Tareen, we will not meet you soon, as the Political and Non-Political Barometer is rising and many of us will be losing our Jobs . Allah Nigehbaan

Monday, 6 May 2013

Welcome back to breaking lose and aham tareen, I am Khuda Baksh and this is Punaid.

Headlines :

The Shobaz Shareer said that we will sweep the house in the upcoming polls, while eating Tiger biscuits he explained that these are Tiger biscuits , and not Lion , so the Pee Lull (N) supporters should stop calling it a Lion, he further explained the ways of getting hair back and told that beauty is the best revenge while thinking about Maryam Nawaz.

The Soonami Khan went on Jalsa spree and made his half century, fell off his feet and showed how to do cartwheel, he told his trolls the way to carry the bat and hit the cat with it, the cat got annoyed and attacked the beta version of Pakistan 2.001

The Saathi is now available for 8 Rs, Speaking of saathi, the London King condemned the Holy bombings on his party members, he vows to come back and fight the bombs himself, but the bombs went on strike and blocked their holes as a sign of protest

The peach justice of Pakistan, is producing the Pakistani version of Inception,with uncle Mushi starring as Leonardo di Capri soap, as the free and cheap quality versions of courts announced arrest within arrest within arrest, uncle Mushi vows to kill BB for the last time and come out of this loopy arrest

Mufti Halwa Diesel came under fire as his wicket fell with a hit-wicket, he called the bowler haraam and illegal so the whole crowd in the stadium messed him up with garbage and now he is busy finding and eating the halwa out of the whole garbage, while Musarrat Shaheen cooked some spinach for him.

The Jammti league of Muslim, the Nonwear Hassan vowed to kick out all the people out of Pakistan, as it was their party which made Pakistan, and Jinnah was against the creation of it, he further vowed to bring peace while sitting on ehsanullah ehsan's head.

The cigar of laal haweli, played High-5 with himself as Mr Bean-Nisaar tried to steal his cigar and give it to Shareer league

The baby bhutta became the first man to learn an alien language, he was awarded with a chartered plane to Dubai for this achievement while the Bhuttas rolled in gravy. He and his illegitimate daddy will spend the rest of their halaal lives in Dubai. Our reporter said that a Shaikh is eyeing the baby bhutto since he saw his campaign video.

Meanwhile the B-Bhutta, and Bhutta shouted from the gravy that they are alive and they will live forever, but sadly there was no one to listen to them

Friday, 5 April 2013

Every culture has its center point of discussion, or the most focused topic of discussion, no matter what the argument or discussion is about, the encounter will end on the specific topic of interest, as in Pakistan, the center point is religion, no matter if the discussion is about politics, nationalism, sports, entertainment, country, war, fashion, money, etc. most of the discussions will end on Religion, as the domain of Religion is the most dominant domain in Pakistan.

The similar thing is reflected on our social media websites, Facebook being one of the largest social network is flooded with religious posts and topics, which will either end in comments like "SubhanAllah", "MashaAllah" or calling each other Kaafir, what happens to be the worst part is that we believe in each and every picture or post shared in the name of religion, most of which are fake and we think it as a religious duty to share with other people in our network, without even verifying it.

The top of the list are "Miracles", "Allah" written on moon, "Muhammad" written on forehead, "Allah" written on bread, and we all go insane and surprised "SubhaaanAllah, beautiful", not knowing that most of the images are edited using Photoshop, but we don't even care about that, renowned Journalist Ansaar Abbasi wrote a few days back, that these miracles send an impression to non-Muslims that Muslims are so stupid to believe in those things which they themselves have uploaded on the interned by editing, if that is how a religion is spread then would you convert if a cross is printed on a cow, or a tree ? NO! you wont, you will say its just a coincidence or fake, but you wont call it fake for your own religion. If you believe that Islam is truth then there is no point of spreading in under the umbrella of lies. Around 2 years back a man appeared on Samaa TV in a morning show and claimed to have met with Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in his dream and when he woke up the next morning, Kalima was written on his forehead and on his back, similarly he brought Roti (Bread) on which Allah was written, and a copy of Quran which he found flying in his room, and the Host, none other than the moral police "Maya Khan" was all in tears, and the man's wife was testifying for his husband too, a few weeks later that man was arrested on the charges of fraud where he admitted that he went to someone to get these things carved on his body. Similarly last year when the controversial movie "Innocence of Muslims" caused an uproar in the Muslim world, some people shared a picture of a destroyed building, below which it was written that the movie was being shown in this cinema so Allah destroyed this building and all Facebook comments were like "Good", "Aisi hona chahye", "They got what they deserved" , "Allah hu Akber" etc etc, but in real that picture was of Chile earthquake 2010 . Few years back my friend sent me a text and told me to look at the moon as the word "Muhammad" is written on it, and seriously I couldn't find it written from any angle, I tried hard if actually it is there, but no success, instead all I could make of the spots on the moon was a trapezoid figure.

The more you go in depths of it are "Please Share if You are a Muslim" posts, now why would someone wants to prove himself/herself a true Muslim by sharing something on the internet, we all must have seen the posts like "Share if You love Allah", now what if I don't share ? Will that make me any less Muslim ? No, it won't , a lot of posts are like Comparing the Image of Kaaba with NewYork and asking Muslims which one is more beautiful. During the Burma protests a lot of pictures were shared on the internet which were not actually from Burna but of different sources and it was claimed that these are the bodies of Burma Muslims,similarly there are may examples in which you are challenged to share posts if you love your religion, see how many likes we get for the name "Allah", last year a pic from a game was shared in which a book was shown on the floor, no where on the book it was written that it is a Quran, but the posts claimed that this is Quran shown on the floor and everyone should boycott this game.

Do you think that by all these actions you are actually proving yourself a true Muslim, no, actually by these actions you are making fun of your beautiful Religion, you are proving that how you feel insecure about your Religion, we have developed a mindset that its the Jews, Christians, Hindus and all other Religions that are working 24/7 against Islam and developing these type of games and other stuff. We have a mindset these miracles will impress Allah , or these miracles will grow the umbrella of Islam, if this was the case, the whole Makkah would have converted to Islam when by the grace of Allah, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) split the moon into two, but they didn't . This isn't helping anyone, this isn't helping you become a good Muslim, this isn't helping anyone to come to the fold of Islam, this is just inviting everyone to ridicule the Religion , this is inviting Allah's anger as we spread lies in his Name. This is the sense of Insecurity, the weakness of Faith and a proof of darkness in the whole Muslim world

Sunday, 17 February 2013

Faith is considered as a matter of one's heart, whether its a faith of an individual or a group of people. Being a Muslim and that too in Pakistan, faith has a different definition, its untouchable, sensitive, more public than personal, its offensive, its self defined, its unforgivable, its dangerous, its death and murder, its blasphemous .

Considering the name of Pakistan, as it go by the name of "Islamic Republic", to claim that the State religion is Islam, and the Muslims will be free, so will be the people of other religions and communities, and that is what an "Islamic State" is, but the case is different here, faith is meant to be conquered, it is like a conquest of faiths, the war of faiths, whether you are a Sunni, a Shiite or any other , even if you are a secular godless atheist , you are in conquest.

If you chant "Ya-Ali" ,you will be faced with "Ya-Omer" , if you Say "Ya-Allah" , you will be faced with "Ya-RasulAllah", if you will speak of Bahrain, you will face the questions about Syria, if you will hail Saudi Govt. you will be labelled as a Wahhabi, faith is no more a personal thing, its a public force, a display of power, a display of self recognition in this country.

Lets take few examples, (if you are easily offended over the matters of religion, skip this part or leave right now ), lets start with Muharram, for Sunnis its a month of respect, and historical significance , For Shiites its a month of Sadness, and of both Historical and Religious Significance, for thousands of years this tradition has been followed by Shiites to observe mourning in this month until the 8th of Rabiul Awwal. But the Big Rallies were not the part in history, now to prove their significance huge rallies are carried out, roads are sealed, loud speakers are installed in between residential areas and nohas are played, Sunnis on the other hand do not perform or endorse such activities , then comes the Rabi ul Awwal, 12 Rabi ul Awwal is considered to be the Birth and Death Anniversary of Prophet (PBUH) , though many historians differ over the date of birth, but the "Barelvi" school of thought is bound to perform their birthday celebrations on 12th of Rabi ul Awwal, however Deobandis to not endorse these acts of celebrations , considering history, the celebrations has been taking place since years in the Sub-continent, at first it was just Gatherings of Milaads and Islamic lectures, but slowly and gradually it has become a commercial event, we have now processions, banging loud speakers in residential areas, with each and every in a race to play melodic Naats more loudly .

Our religious scholars claim that there should be unity among the Muslims irrespective of the sect, but when the time comes, the same religious scholars are seen acting against their statements, considering the recent acts of violence in the whole country, the protests against it are based on sects, language and nationalities, since last few years Karachi is on the verge of worst violence of all times where people belonging to every sect, party and cast are being targeted, but in the past few month Ulemas were targeted, this forced Ulema to raise their voice against terrorism and protest, before that there was no word from them, same is the case with the Hazara Community, they are being targeted frequently and now the Shia community of Pakistan has taken a stand to protest against the killings, but this is not the point I want to make, the point is that the leaders of Sunni will only stand when the leaders of Sunni community are targeted, the Shia community will only stand when their community will be targeted, the Liberals will only stand up for minorities, no one will stand for humanity, no one will stand for the killings of all innocent people. We do it because we are taught to act like this, we have grown in a community where our elders and leader explains the pains of own community only. A Sunni is only a Sunni, A Shi'a is only a Shi'a , a Sunni will stand for Syrian Rebels, a Shi'a will stand for Bahraini Rebels, this is where the faith comes at war. Islam asks Muslims to "Come to the common terms", but we defy we defy what Islam says about unity .

If we keep defying our religion, and the glorious teachings of the Quran, then we will never be able to unite the names of Ali and Omar, and the differences will haunt all the future generations

Thursday, 10 January 2013

The Name "Rumi" is not unknown to any, If you don't know, the real name is Mawlana Jalal ud-din Muhammad Balkhi or Mawlana Jalal ud-din Muhammad Rumi, simply known as "Rumi".This blog is not the biography, or the history of Rumi, but in fact I would like to cover the present condition of poor Rumi on social media, yes people Rumi is alive on social media, and very much alive .

There was a time when people used the Mathnawies of Rumi in their lives, but now a days if you take on Rumi on the internet lives, especially facebook, twitter and other social networks, you will often see people misusing Rumi, you will see people quoting and misquoting Rumi, be it Muslims, Non-Muslims, Ex-Muslims, Atheists, and whatever you name it . Go On and search the word "Rumi" of twitter and there you go, you will find many tweets, often not said by Rumi, often misquoted by people, women to be specific.

It is beginning to become a fashion for kool with a "k" people to quote Rumi every now and then in their Facebook statuses and tweets, many of which are really not said by Rumi, many of which they don't even know the meaning of, not unless you have read the "Mathnavis" of Rumi. People just post it without going into and understanding the meaning of it . Am I being Judgmental ? OK, you can do this little research your self, there might be one or two on your list too .

Let me add, its not just the case with Rumi, people often and very often misquote Hadhrat Ali(RA) too, associating each and every quote with Hadhrat Ali (RA), no doubt what generally is misquoted is a good statement, but they are often associated with Him. One should actually verify before blabbering about it, and the responses you will see "SubhanAllah", "MashaAllah", like they just got enthralled by the thought .