Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #19

There are few qualities less attractive than desperation. This is especially true when it comes to Craigslist ads and bicycles. An ad that might not have bothered you so much the first time becomes increasingly objectionable with every same-day re-post and $20 price drop. This is one such ad. It seems like every time I visit Craigslist it's up there in some new iteration, and it's becoming like sitting next to some pervert on the subway who keeps putting his hand in your lap.

Fetish Cycles Position track bike. $850/obo (extra goodies included at $850...see below) This is a custom build, and has been ridden for less than 100 miles. Bike weighs about 16 lbs!! Light and very fast. I am a bike mechanic and take very good care of my bikes. I am willing to provide service to the buyer.

OK, admittedly I'm a little uptight, but when I see "fetish," "position," and "I am willing to provide service to the buyer" in the same paragraph, my first instinct is to move on. You sure you didn't mean to put this in "Erotic Services?"

Oooh, removable! That means I can replace them with stickers from companies like Fortynine Sixteen and Zoo York, as well as hilarious phrases like "My Nuts are Titanium," "One Less Car," and "This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb!" Tell me more!

I would, but the photo looks like it was taken from space. It's more obscured than a pair of breasts on network television. From what I can see, though, I will say I've seen nicer forks on paper placemats.

-headset: Cane Creek IS sealed bearing headset

Okay.

-wheelset: Alex Crostini rims laced to Formula track hubs (these are the wheels that come on the Fuji Track Pro)

This is one (1) ugly bike. You've posted it about fifty (50) times already and it hasn't sold. Perhaps now is the time (x) to take it to eBay (eBay). By the way, unless the Hulk's making bike tools now, that's a Hozan wrench you're including.

email me with any questions, or for larger pics, or call/text [deleted]. Thanks!

Yes, please send a 5' by 10' print of this one so I can put it in my living room. I have a fetish for ugly bikes and poor photography. And I particularly like this one, because the bike looks like some hideous farm animal, and the cogs look like its droppings:

A lot of people complain about ISIS. Certainly that could be user error, but even FSA says on their site: "Currently, FSA ISIS-Drive BB bearing life is acceptable, although in the past, many ISIS-Drive BB's suffered from short bearing life. The same oversize axle that is great for strength and stiffness presented engineering and manufacturing challenges to fit bearings with a high enough load capacity inside the BB shell." Lots more tried-and-true (and boringly attractive) track crank/bb combos out there.

Thanks for the info! I hadn't heard anything about that, but it merits further research. I imagine Octalink had the same problem?

John,

I also thought that square taper bottom brackets were just fine and I use them for most of my bikes (and will continue to do so until they die, which will probably be quite a while). The only reason I'm running anything else, really, is because it was difficult to find a MTB crank with the specs I wanted in anything other than Octalink or ISIS.

Nice post. The only thing that could have made the ad better would have been obvious indicia of bike theft. "I'm selling this bike for a friend who left town in a hurry. It has to go today or tomorrow."

-since it's older tech, there's fewer manufacturers making quality BBs for it. not to say you can't get one, but if for instance you get a complete bike there's probably a cheap one in there.

-it's problematic to grease the spindle, and problematic not to. people who ride fixed hard and don't grease their spindles have a nasty habit of getting crankarms extremely stuck on the bottom brackets, and people who do grease their spindles tend to have problems with the crank loosening up, and pulling on to the spindle too far, which fucks up the chainline.

-if you do end up toasting your bb, you need to pull the cranks to put a new one in. when you remove/reinstall square taper cranks, the spindle hole stretches, which lets the crank pull on too far. this wrecks the chainline, can make the crank/chainring rub on the frame, and can even put cracks in the crank at the spindle hole. new cranks are expensive, and breaking cranks while riding sucks. trust me on that one.

Not really, but Octalink had it's own set of problems. Octalink uses needle bearings, which have a very low profile and very good load capacity. Perfect for a BB. There are additional small ball bearings that carry the lesser side loads.

not sure if this is correct, but i encountered a freewheel lockring on a mates bmx recently - now they have like 11 or 12 tooth freewheel cogs but the freewheel is somehow built into the cog cos its so small, so you need a lockring on it to hold it all together? hmmmm, then your lack of brakes would be fun (if you didnt have some rad volleys of course...) ;)

Hmm.. I had no idea ISIS had needle bearings. Makes perfect sense. The splined interface is superior, and the larger spindle is well intentioned (tubes of a slightly larger diameter than a solid round have the same strength, or at least the one measure of strength that matters).

So this is why they made outboard bearings.. now they're making larger BB shells like on the Madone.

And there are lockrings for freewheels.. although they usually call them "cassette lockrings" because they help hold your cassette (for those of you that don't know, it's a cluster of MULTIPLE gears.. cool, huh?) to your freewheel, which is usually called a freehub. But he was wrong anyway. But $850 for that bike, no matter how lame, seems a little low. I thought those cranks themselves were like $300.

Uh-huh....Fetish bikes. If this frame isn't cracked already it probably will be, like 95% of the the frames they put out in the last couple of years that have about a 4mo life span and can handle about as much frame torque as a sprinting squirrel puts out.

as the annoying owner of this bike (yes, I'm serious), I thought I should put up some kind of comment. btw, BSNYC, I do think this post is hilarious, even if I'm laughing at myself. I have read your blog for months. Love it.

to clear up the "freewheel lockring" issue: yes, it is a bottom bracket lockring. But, if you're stupid enough, you can put a track cog on the freewheel side of the hub, and sort of lock it on with a bottom bracket lockring. As a disclaimer, I never actually did it myself, I just had the parts. The reason it's stupid is because both the cog and the lockring thread the same direction. With a normal track lockring is threads the opposite way.

regarding the reason I'm selling the bike: I just moved into the city from Syracuse, where riding without brakes is a bit easier/safer, since I was on a college campus, and there weren't many cars around. But, I think you'd have to be insane to ride brakeless in NYC.

I would keep it and race it, but my girlfriend is making me sell a couple of my bikes because I have "too many", as if that's possible. granted, we did have a house upstate, and my bike room was half the size of my apartment here, but still! It hurts.

just so everyone knows, I don't subscribe to the hipster crowd. Nor do I subscribe to the yuppy "tri" crowd, who've never raced in a triathlon, but still like to ride their completely impractical bikes around NYC. I subscribe to the tight lycra, helmet-wearing, skinny-saddle, fake racer crowd (w/o aerobars). But, I don't wear team kits from teams that aren't my own.

...i've gotta 197? 'bilgewater keelhaul' fix gear bike for sale...it had gears but i fixed that pdq as i'm not a very good mechanic......both wheels go backwards & forwards (!) but i find it easier to go forward cuz you can't live in the past...ha ! cycling is deep, man......the crank thingy is an old one- piece cuz more stuff means more stuff ta go wrong...that & i find deep philosophical meaning in 'freeing' parts n thats what i got......handlebars are a little short, maybe three inches on each side, cuz when i tried to trim one side to match the other, well, i was going back n forth a few times......hey, it's all good......saddle was uncomfortable but i taped a little cushion from my aunties house to it...problem nada nomore......pedals, nah, no pedals but them axle thingys are still there......made me a real cool top tube pad whatever outta some stuff i got off my water heater...hell, talk about saving money......jeez, ya know, maybe i'll just keep it & come ride w/ you guys......send me yer addresses n i'll see ya soon...hey, i'm cool...

...'mindless' is obviously correct in both facts...it is indeed a bb lock ring & yes, it's a stupid & dangerous practice because they do thread on in the same direction......why it escapes people is cuz someone is always willing to believe that 'loc-tite' is gonna make the difference, not realizing the incredible torque generated by the legs...

why do Formula hubs get a Yawn? they're the perfect intersection of quality and affordability. Well-sealed and smooth. You don't recommend that everybody go out and lace some high flange Phil Woods to Deep Vs colormatched to their bartape and toestraps, do you?

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!