Chinese Detox: I have fasted for more than one week.

Posted on February 26, 2017

I haven’t done any exercise, been to the toilet, flossed my teeth or eaten anything for one week on this Chinese Detox. Truth.

Less than 2 weeks ago I embarked on a 2 week Chinese detox which involves no food, yes, you read right, absolutely no food at all. Just herbs – black, repulsive herbs three times a day. The first few days were spectacularly difficult as my mind played tricks on me, throwing all kinds of food images in front of me. (I’ve been feeling a bit like the image above – confused.)

The next few days have been a touch easier, this is my daily diary of the experience:

Day 6 on Chinese Detox: Now I know how Wonder Woman feels

I am so full of energy it’s incredible. I’m starting to think I really can do this. I feel empowered, and clear headed.

I had my first full night’s sleep since I started the Chinese detox- always helps.

The weight fell off quickly, but I don’t want to get any thinner.

The daily walk past the bakery to the acupuncture sessions still kills me, but I can happily prepare food without wanting to eat it at all now.

I’m starting to dislike the acupuncture – I’ve worked out it’s about 30 needles in my head, stomach and legs. They are starting to hurt when inserted. ‘Are they really doing anything?’ I find myself asking daily. I don’t know the answer.

And the worst thing? I’ve gained weight today? How can that be possible?

I spoke to the Chinese Doctor who said they have a problem with their scales which was why I gained weight on them yesterday. Phew.

But there’s a new problem today. I feel left out. I’m on the outside of the world looking in at everyone else having fun. It’s like I’m not really living my life. I can’t go out with my friends & I’ve come to realise so much of life & social connection is based around food & alcohol.

I mean just imagine saying to an old friend: Hey, let’s catch up for a water & a walk. It will be amazing. It doesn’t have the same ring as “let’s go to Atavola for pasta & meatballs & a Pinot”.

I guess this is what the very ill feel like. It’s no fun. I actually feel a bit down about it. I miss my old haunts, I know, I know, it has only been a week, but it feels like months. Deprivation is not easy. In fact it is painful.

I haven’t been to the toilet (for number 2’s) in a week now. It’s so bizarre. I am almost sub-human. You don’t eat, you don’t use the toilet, makes sense. There’s no need to floss either. Fitness is out too.

I’ve become food obsessed but in a completely different way. I want to cook from morning to night. I’ve made 30 brownies, there’s cupcakes in the oven as I write, and I’ve decided for dinner, the twins now need full three course meals. They are in shock – so am I.

I see food as more of a craft project – I want to create it, but I don’t want to eat it. It’s very bizarre, and I’ve read anorexics and people with serious food disorders go through a similar experience.

Now I am starting to worry I am bringing on a food disorder.. am I? I have lost 5 kilograms in 8 days. I feel like that is too much too soon. People are noticing. I’m starting to really doubt the detox.

Day 9: I googled ‘how to get off a fast’ and it sounds much more complicated than I thought. They say it takes four days before you can eat proper food?? After starving for 2 weeks?? I am about to go away and I am concerned about jet lag on top of getting off a fast. I might have to stop.

I’ve put a call through to the doctor. I don’t want to get off a Chinese Detox/fast and straight onto a long haul flight and another country with completely different foods. Maybe I should have thought of this before I started.