Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Why we do what we do and what it actually
is.We do not homeschool in the
sense of "school at home" with our children. They were not pulled
from public school so that we could force learning in ways we did not find to
be benefiting our children. We choose to
take a more organic approach to learning with them. This is our homeschooling
philosophy, whole life learning. We believe that children learn best when they
are fully engaged and excited. You cannot force a child to get excited about a
topic because you have some kind of need for them to learn said topic. Many children waste their time
memorizing (not learning) facts to regurgitate them for tests only to forget
them more quickly than it took to memorize them. We do not test our children.
Testing is a system put into place for teachers to assess and gauge a child's
learning because they cannot focus on each individual child in the way that a
homeschooled child is attended to. I'm sure it is very helpful in a classroom
setting for a teacher who has to keep track of all those children and also for
parents who want to know how their children are doing based on a system of
measure. But you see my kids do not need to be tested because they are learning
in ways that tests simply cannot measure(more on that later....) and when they
know something I know that they know. There is no use for tests aside from
samples for end of year evaluation and test scores are not a great portfolio
sample anyway. Project based samples are more thorough and have a better feel
about them, with more creativity and personality involved. We choose to unschool our
children this means that they seek out things they are interested in and they
learn because they are engaged in that particular topic. This is precisely how
adults out of school and university learn. When you want to learn something new
what do you do? Do you go sign up for a class because the only way to learn
something new is by listening to lectures and taking tests? Or do you seek out
the information you desire and the experiences required to fully understand the
concept that you are curious about? I'm willing to bet that you consult with Google
or a book store more often to learn new things than you realize and most
certainly more often than you find yourself signing up for classes. Also,
learning things in a class might be absolutely perfect for the way that you
learn (there are different learning styles and this is important as well). In
addition to classes being a great way to learn they can prevent you from making
some big mistakes and also promote a healthy lifestyle such as with yoga or
spinning. Classes that teach pottery making, homesteading skills, or how to
quilt are also beneficial and a great way to establish a hobby and
relationships with other people. You also learn much through conversations with
other people and working together. You learn through trying new things. To stop
learning is to stop living they are one and the same. Please note that unschooling our
children does not mean we are hands off. If anything it is far more hands on.
We present ideas to our children, topics they might like, and books they might
enjoy reading or having read to them. Yes, even when they can read chapter books
to themselves. Do you remember how comforting it was to be read to, to allow
your mind to just fly away with the words, to close your eyes and day dream it
all in your head? We're not stopping that around here and especially not at the
expense of a child not realizing how much they love literature. We are "book
people"(in that we love books, reading, libraries, book stores, you get
the picture) and we want to share that with our children. We buy the tools to
learn and seek out the experiences to facilitate their interests. They learn
all the time. We talk about nutrition and budgeting when meals are involved. We
round numbers to estimate the cost of the items in the shopping cart before we
get to the check out. We talk to people we don't know and wish them well (and
sometimes rude things come out of little mouths but this too offers the
opportunity to learn and to improve). When talking about people we talk about
culture and religion too. When we clean together and do home projects we
instill responsibility in our children. I am in the process of making all of
our craft and art supplies more accessible to them so that they can initiate
their own activities and be able to clean up after themselves too(This stems
from the fact that I love some of the Montessori approaches to home life and
education.). I'm also planning some fun history submersion days in the new year
that I think they will fully enjoy. They got an awesome microscope for
Christmas along with a slide making kit and petri dishes. They received good
for the environment soy crayon rocks and rubbing plates focused on botany and
fossils. It is all about facilitating and making an amazing life for our
children and anyone can do that! That thing I said about tests.I mentioned that our children
learn in ways that tests cannot measure and it is true. While a test can
measure the level of comprehension attained through a story it cannot measure
the personal influence. Short of assigning written essays that are more for
defining writing and grammar ability than for establishing the impact of
literature on a young student, these are the aspects that fall through the
cracks in traditional schooling methods. Discussions directly with your young
reader in which you're actively engaged and asking questions are a much better
and more sincere way to really see through his eyes how much a story has impacted
him. A test does not measure personal
character. I don't know about anyone else but raising my children is far more
about the kind of people theyare and
much less about how quickly they can complete math problems. Kind of like The Tortoise and The Hare, as long as
you're reaching the destination you need to be at. We spend time every day with
our children working on life skills, how to treat others, and how to care for
themselves. That last one is far more detailed than you'd think at first. It is
important for children to be able to assess their needs on all levels; mental,
physical and emotional health are all important parts of taking care of
ourselves and children need our guidance. They also need to continuously work
on building relationships with family, friends, and people in their
communities. With that, it is imperative that they move towards establishing
themselves within these groups. They need to know that their presence is always
important and valued even as children. If we do not raise them to feel
important now but suddenly dump it all onto their shoulders with expectations
and a lack of instruction when they turn eighteen, what more can we expect,
than for them to not know how to handle such responsibilities and social
positions? Raising our children to be strong speakers, to have their own
opinions, and to stand up for themselves is important to us. We do not request
that they blindly follow our words because who's advice will they follow when
we are not around? They have to learn to trust themselves and their judgment. A test cannot measure the
passion they feel for topics that excite them. While a test can tell me that my
child is remembering many facts and details about a particular topic it does
not reveal to me how much she loves to learn about it. A test could easily mark
the end of a learning endeavor and wouldn't it be a shame to cut her excitement
short because a lesson simply ends here? Instead I will encourage and facilitate
learning until her brain is satiated and she wants to move on to another topic.
Which, guess what... might not happen right away! The level of learning my
children experience from reading and enjoying the things that they love to
learn about has been much more thorough than weeks of lessons on subjects that
bore them. But, yes it does sometimes take time for them to become excited
about a new topic when the last has passed out of their lives. Sometimes they
say they want to know more about astronomy and change their minds just after
you've printed pages of information and bought a telescope. I always trust that
someone will get use from these dropped interests even if that person isn't any
of us. This is the way we live, please respect
us.It is fairly apparent that unschooling
isn't just about education but it is also about how we live. Maybe it is even more
about how we live than it is about education. The way that we live allows for
whole life learning. When asked about school our kids will often claim that
we're not doing it, that they're not learning, or they will avoid the person
quizzing them. When they honestly claim that they do not know something and
then are told of this topics (*ah hem* arbitrary) "importance" but
not in ways that are applicable to their current lives the entire conversation
is pointless. Unless of course the goal is to confuse, intimidate, and belittle
a child, in which case you've succeeded. I understand that others feel that
they need to know that the children in their lives are doing well but that is
their personal situation and one should use caution when coming from a place of
fear or judgment. This means that often we push our ideals on others in ways
that are not helpful but instead hurt others without our realizing it and there
are better ways to communicate. Perhaps it would help everyone involved by asking
questions like "What books are you reading?" or "What fascinates
you most about the planet we live on?" or any number of other awesome
questions for kids like:
"What would you like most about being a jelly fish?"
"What is your favorite animal? Why?"
"What do you like most about having dogs?"
"What are you good at?"
"What is the best thing about being a kid/(or the age they are now)?"
"What is the hardest thing you've ever had to do?"
"What is your favorite word? Why?" You can simply strike up
conversations in almost the same ways you would with adults. You can share
information that you think is interesting and see if they share in your
interests. You can ask them their interests and see if you know anything about
those topics that you could share with them. Sharing knowledge and experiences
is wonderful. Over sharing and stressing the importance of topics in arbitrary
ways is not conductive to a good relationship. Again, building good
relationships is something that we're working on teaching our children about
but also something that so many adults seem to skim over as though it lacks any
kind of significance at all especially with those who are young and know not
what they know. More of that philosophy thing.They learn from you/me/them/us(get
it?), you learned from the people before you. This is how we all learn and
change and grow and choose new things. You can help change cycles worth
breaking; you can influence the next generation. You can "be the change"
you wish to see, if you see a change worth making. If the parents of these
children are working toward something different, something you may not quite
understand, respect and an understanding attitude go a long way. Relatives and
friends, help the people in your life to facilitate the life(whatever life that
may be) they desire not the life you may think they should have or standards you
thing they should be living up to. Electronics...We're not radical in the sense
of electronics and have set times for the entire family for use of electronics
daily except for clearly educational uses/consulting Google for questions. I
know, these are useful learning tools. But they are also time suckers so we choose
to live more conscious of our electronic use by limiting it and establishing
routines that help to balance all aspects of our lives. What do we do all day? We like to maintain a daily
routine because it helps us all function. I have one child who likes to rise
early, one who wakes with me, and one who wakes later than us all. We stager
our morning activities, eat when we are hungry, and start our day in whatever
way feels true to ourselves and what we need or need to get done. This does not
mean we cannot get up and get out of the house when we need to be somewhere.
This means that when we have morning plans we go to bed at the time that waking
demands. In the mornings we read, write in journals, work on art, play board
games, complete any fun/educational activities I have planned or they have
requested, and sometimes watch educational films. We break these activities up
with household responsibilities as they become apparent. Lunch is also served
when our stomachs need it and with a range of options since we have different
demands and expectations nutritionally. In the afternoon we clean up morning
messes, start planned activities educational or otherwise, play outside, run
errands, the kids sometimes play with friends, more reading happens, and
playing with each other. Snacks are encouraged up until the time that dinner is
cooking, then kids have to wait. After dinner the kids can use electronics for
whatever they like, watch television, and taking turns playing video games. I
have found that I like keeping a bedtime for myself and my kids understand that
they each have different sleep needs and meet those needs accordingly. They go to
bed between 10 and 11 and I go to bed around midnight. This is what daily life looks like for us.

Friday, December 19, 2014

So, here is a "life lately" post because I hear people kind
of like them!

I've spend the last few weeks debating a haircut. The last one I had at the end
of August left me feeling pretty terrible about myself. Too much was taken off,
it was uneven, not blended correctly and basically not what I had asked for. I
cried, more than once. I also promised myself that I would never, get my hair
cut ever again. Not for the rest of my life until I was old and grey and not
even if looked like an evil witch lady and scared children. Not even when it
was long and making my face look like a llama's face, strange and elongated.
I got my hair cut this week. Super short and I absolutely love it. I started
telling myself things like, "Be brave" and "You'll look amazing,
you have the right face for it, your ears are tiny" and "If your hair
gets any longer you won't want to get it cut short, it could be years before
you're motivated again".

Friday, December 12, 2014

I said earlier that I believe you can love someone to the ends of the earth but at times still kind of want to push them off if you could or heave yourself over the edge.
No matter how my day has gone when gazing at my sleeping children I feel rejuvenated. Awestruck, in love with who they are. I want to kiss their faces and hug their little bodies and wake them accidentally-on-purpose so that I might have a moment to apologize, if only for the things I was keeping to myself all along. To gain a minute more to appreciate them and show them my love when I was instead impatient. To just tell them how amazing they are.
But I realize, I need to forgive myself. Perfection was never my aim, just to give them my best. Which I will continue to aim for.

This applies even to the good days, when I sat and colored for fifteen minutes not thirty then I see a small child sleeping peacefully and I am discontent inside. I could have sat longer, played more, read on. I don't want to feel so dependant on tomorrows for having seen what I missed today.

This stuff... the stuff of life and love and trying so hard.
This has been brought to you by tapping thumbs and a mama snug in bed hoping her cell holds out long enough to post these ramblings.

Friday, December 5, 2014

I've shared the following message on Facebook all week and for easy linking I'm sharing again like I said I would! "I've
decided that I will be walking away from Facebook until further notice. I have
been feeling a tugging to step away for a little while now and I'm going to
listen.
We have a home phone, no cell phone, texting our home phone will not be
productive, message me for the number at which you can call me. I have an email
address too, cogswellrachell@gmail.com
and there is a chat option in there if you have gmail too.
I'm going to take more time to write and blog, raelafaye.blogspot.com so you can check in on what's going on there(just
subscribe, it's easy :) ).
We are also kind of on YouTube... https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz6cSMNFYNLCzESXIUKcypA
I'm trying to get better at it.
Oh and instagram if you like pictures of food, homeschool things, rats and
pitbulls @raelafaye
Also feel free to send me cool ideas on pinterest! www.pinterest.com/rachellafaye/
Happy Holidays
Feel free to link me to your accounts and blogs and awesome things. Emails and phone numbers too!"

The official "Dear John Letter" if you're curious mind is wondering ... Dear Facebook, I'd tell you it was me not you, but I'd be lying. It
is you. You see, I have a problem. A very real problem, a need for
information. And as we both know, there is better information than what
you're bringing to this relationship. I am a compulsive reader you
should know by now. With my clicking habits what they are, good or bad,
happy or sad, if there is something to be read, I'm clicking. I'm
learning so much but some days I'm uncontrollably sad and irritable. I'm
angry with you and angry with myself. I wonder if I am wasting valuable
passion and energy. I have a love hate relationship with you. Oh
the people I have met, the wonderful beautiful people! The people with
their ideas and passions that make my soul happy for knowing them.
Seeing their dreams unfold fills my heart with love. Getting to share in
their joy through you, Facebook, has been great. But now I have to
focus on myself and my family. I have to write more and feel and dream.
I have to make magic and share wonder. I have to stop being distracted
and using my precious energy on whatever whims you carry me away on. I'm
holding myself accountable and walking away. Maybe it isn't you at all, maybe it is me. And that, old friend, that's ok too. ~Rachel

I look forward to spending more time writing. Let me know you're here now and then with a comment.

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About Me

My name is Rachel. I am a mother of three awesome kids. Married to my best friend, no, really! We met when we were just five years old.
I homeschool/unschool my three kids. Parenting is something I'm very passionate about.
I spend a lot of time in my own head. I like a lot of things "in theory".I do love my family, food, scenery, furry critters, frozen lattes, and tomorrows!