Miami Spa Uses Vacuums to Embiggen Women's Butts

With twerking and belfies becoming part of the online conversation, some women are doing everything they can do enhance their booties to take part in these various Internet phenomena. While many women do squats and other workouts to improve their behinds, a spa in Miami is offering a unique way to do so: vacuums.

Sculpting Goddess spa in Miami provides a service, known simply as “Buttocks Enhancement,” that uses various vacuum technologies to purportedly improve rear ends. The $60 treatment will “break down cellulite and fatty deposits, eliminating toxins” and “also restore the skin’s natural elasticity. Raises, enlargens and reaffirms the gluteus. Soften skin for those with butt shots. Decrease muscle tension.” To do so, they place suction cups on the patient’s butt and then squeeze those cheeks like a Sir-Mix-a-Lot fantasy.

Instagram, @sculptinggoddess

Apparently this vacuum treatment is not so bullshit that others aren’t attempting it also. Another spa in Miami offers a Gluteus Lifting that also uses suction cups on the rump. According to this medical spa blog, the procedure’s known as “Endermologie,” which is “a motorized technique that incorporates two rollers and controlled suction.” It allegedly works because “the skin is painlessly folded and unfolded by the rollers for deep tissue stimulation which decreases the viscosity of the buttocks’ subsutaneous fat while increasing blood flow to the tissue and stimulating lymphatic drainage. Hence, the area loses inches while gaining firmness and improved texture.”

That’s a lot of words that might be difficult to understand, so we’ll just let the results speak for themselves. Sculpting Goddess posts pictures of some of their patients before and afters on its Instagram account.

Instagram, @sculptinggoddess

So if you’re looking for a cheap and easy way to take your ass from pancake to Kardashian, this may be exactly what you’re looking for, provided, you know, it actually works.