it's a tough job

It's a really tough job to be a tennis parent (albeit exciting but that part we dont have a problem with). All the expectations, excitement, disappoinment, encouragemnt, (lack of) self control, shouting matches, soul searching, amateur coaching, hurt feelings, and lost and found relationships are on vivid display at every tournament. We work hard at being a good tennis parent, doing all we can to help our kid who is passionate (maybe even talented) about the game, with some success and some heart breaking failures. Let's share with each other our stories, pain and joy, and lessons learned here.

I was desperate last week...
I feel like I am onto something right finally now...
the difference between some horrible matches and a few brilliant ones....

the first question you should ask them when they come off the court is:

How did you play?

why?

because when they say they played awesome, then that's all that matters-tennis is a progression, as long as they succeed and take one step forward in their shot making, mental game, etc, they are going to be better in the long run. hey, even if Andy Roddick plays awesome, he loses to Federer most of the time. the promise is in improved performance over the long haul.

your kid knows if they play well or not.

if they don't play well, they will probably lose so that solves that discussion.

then you can say what happened? how can we fix this? etc.

DO NOT patronize them, do not false encourage them. just listen and move on.

when my teams lost big matches, we went for ice cream. when we won big matches, it was just the way it is, we expect to win.

BUT if my teams lost big matches and people didn't give 100% effort or support, then we ran....