Thursday, April 2, 2015

2015 Name of the Year: Chrotchtangle Regional, Round One

This year's Chrotchtangle
Regional is a marvelous, multisyllabic mess and we could not be more proud to
introduce you to our colorful nominees.

Despite the chaos of the selection process, we developed
strong fascist nation fascination with the man who
would ultimately lead our last set of fine names. When we think about one-seed Mussolini Africano, an LA-area
physician, our imaginations run wild about how such a beautiful,
multi-continental nominal construction came to be.

And while some names we yearn to know more about, for others
we know almost too much. Barrel-chested ten-seed Rocky Porco loves working outside and driving his bumble bee yellow
Harley, or so touts the Employee Spotlight of the City of Salida, Colorado Facebook
page. There Rocky graciously shares a bit of his limelight with a mysteriously
vague anecdote about a fun time with his friend Kevin:

Funny story: Rocky remembers
a time when working with Kevin Nelson in a ditch, and the water was up to
Kevin's neck. Kevin was trying to get up the ladder, but there was no bottom
rung and Kevin couldn't get out...neither could remember how the story ended
but we do know Kevin got out--he is still alive and well and still works for
the City of Salida!

You go Rocky!

Now, our name
would not be Name of the Year without a bevy of strong contenders from the
realm of sports. Fifth seed Q Drennan
(yes, just Q) is a former MI6 gadgeteer turned freshman wide receiver at The
University of New Mexico. One pairing over from Q is Claflin University player
and 13-seed Alexicon Void, who will
surely leave you with a loss for words if these young athletes come
head-to-head in Round 2.

Our third Chrotchtangle nominee
worth noting from the world of sports is eight-seed Miraculous Powers, another rising high school footballer.
Interestingly enough, it turns out that Powers has actually lived up to
his lofty name. While he was in utero, Powers' mother Lowanda was in a severe
car accident that left her life on the line. In the hospital, Lowanda's family
was told that the likelihood of both mother and son making it was grim. But
when they both made a full recovery a few days later, Lowanda deemed only one
name fitting for her miracle kid.

Last but certainly not least,
the NOTY phones have been off the hook with hubbub about our two-seed Amanda Miranda Panda. In real life, she
has hit some hard times after being read her Amanda Miranda Rights and
subsequently charged with three counts of burglary in
Boise, Idaho last December. But to us, she can be still be crowned a real
winner. If not a winner, then at least a shining example of the awesome power a
parent can wield with merely a pen and a blank line on a birth certificate.

Will one of these contenders
carry the covetous Chrotchtangle name to the winner's circle? Vote below!

Got a Nomination?

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About NOTY

Name of the Year was founded in 1983 on an Ivy League campus. Its mission has remained unchanged: to discover, verify, nominate, elect and disseminate great names. All names included here are, to the best of our knowledge, real. No malice is intended.