Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more

Download & Play

Questions

Newspaper Page Text

asasxs
I
t
I
'TWHY, ALL OER CftAPPJES WASsN
3r SHEE MT EMVC VEN D"V SAW J
) A-WEARIN$ DER FIRST CWES.
V JT VlASSt A REGULAR S
' N02lRL00 'FbR TEMv
iA j "
7 7
INSPIRATION
. It was early in- the history of the
new household. "What have we got
lor breakfast, dear?' asked Mr. Just
married. His wife looked at him with
troubled eves. "It was to have been
bacon," 'she said, "but poor cook's
burnt it" "Poor cook! I should
think so, indeed!" exclaimed Mr.
Justmarried . "Confound her! Have
you giveti her" notice?" ."Oh, no;
we mustn't be too cross with her,
darling," said his wife. "She's so
yotfng and inexperienced. Won't
you be satisfied with a kiss for
breakfast?" she coaxed archly. "All
tight, dear," replied Mr. Justmarried,
suddenly pacified. ''Call her in!",
- o o
Willfa was at play in the door-yard
with his little brother. "Ma' he
called out, "I wish "you'd come out
out here and make Bob behave him
self Every time I hit him on the
head with the hammer he hollers'
WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLISS
It was the uBUal custom at See
weed Farm for Mrs. Giles to wind
up all the clocks each Saturday even
ing. But last Saturday Mrs. Giles was
on the sick list nothing more seri
ous than a slightly sprained ankle
land she found it impossible for her
to move about the house. So Giles
was bidden to undertake the per
formance of her duties.
Now Giles was short and fat. The
kitchen mantelshelf was nigh. In
order, therefore, to reach the clock
which stood upon it Giles was forced
to requisition the services of a chair.
Laboriously he mounted it, while
Mrs. Giles watched the manoeuvre
in fear and trembling. .
"John, John," she cried, "do be
careful. That chair, you kndw, is
none too strong. I'm "Sure it won'-t
bear you weight."
Giles turned round and surveyed
his spouse calmly.
"Ay, ay, my deaf1," he said, "it's
quite all right; I'm Only standing on
one leg."
-o o
ANOTHER GEO. WASHINGTON
The hour was rather late, and con
versation at the club had turned up
on mysterious midnight noises. An
eerie feeling pervaded the atmos
phere, and a spare young man struck
a further weird note.
"Gentlemen," he said, "for real
aWe give me the roaring of the lion,
or sharp trumpeting of an elephant,
borne on the still night air as yoti
lie silent and inert"
They looked at him in surprise.
Was this spare y6uth some' great
traveler?
"Have you really slept in the jungle
and heard those sounds?' queried
one of his listeners, with interest,
"Well, not exactly," -jsaid the
youth, as he edged towards the
door; " but I sleep With my window
open, and my diggings are by the
Zoological Gardens"