Writings & Spiritual Musings

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LIFE:

You’ve either got to to deal with it, or it will deal with you. Shit’s gonna happen, accept it. Some of it you’ll have caused, some of it you’ll have attracted, some of it will be beyond your control, learn from it. Life is your biggest teacher, if you’re willing to listen and learn. Things won’t always go your way. Find a new way. Keep moving forward. Time does. Learn from it.

There is no dress rehearsal for Life. This is it. Give it your all. Give it your best. Fill your life with as much and as many experiences as you can. Some will be good and some will be bad. That’s what keeps life exciting: you never truly know. Hopefully you’ll find balance along the way.

Keep your expectations high, but your acceptance higher. Nobody’s perfect, but they are unique. Find and love your uniqueness; those things that make you ‘you’. There is greatness within all of us. Seek it out in everyone you meet, and your own greatness will be reflected back at you. Add love to every situation, good or bad. Love is the energy of Life. Love your friends. Love your family. Love yourself. But love your enemies more, because we are all one. We are all love. We are all Life.

Live your life so you can look forward to the future, if you are lucky enough to have one. Don’t dwell on the past, it’s a ship that’s sailed and is never coming back. Regrets, like grudges, will drown you, let them go, forgive, seek forgiveness, and swim on. Embrace the present, for that is all you ever have and will have. Unwrap it as the gift it is. This is all you have and all you are.

This is your life, live it your way, on your terms. Don’t try and live someone else’s life for them, and don’t let them tell you how to live yours. Be grateful for everything you have. Even if others have more, there are many more with less. Seek them out. Help your fellow Man. In helping and serving others you will gain much, much more than you could ever give.

If you only ever believe in one thing, believe in yourself. Respect your elders, but accept they may not know what’s truly right for you. Pursue your dreams, for that is the rainbow that will bring your happiness to life. You are never given a dream without the ability to achieve it. But know your true happiness always is within you.

Live your life with passion. Laugh as often as you can, but never at anyone else’s expense, unless it’s your own.

I hope when you look back on your life you’ll smile, feel proud, and even if nobody else noticed, at least you knew you were here.

Think about it. What is stopping YOU from taking on the world and becoming EVERYTHING you were BORN to BE…? It’s not space, I can tell you that much! It’s…

F-E-A-R…!

Fuck

Everything

And

Run…!

That’s MY acronym. But eventually you’ll run out of energy and stop. But guess what, FEAR is right there with you, because it’s within you, with you, around you. The ONLY way to combat fear is to take it on with action. So, in Part Three, the next step in taking control over your fears is to list the top three fears you have and tackle them head-on!

What are YOUR top three fears?

This is the biggest step you’ll ever take in overcoming your fears. Once you KNOW that everybody has them, but doesn’t know how to deal with them, hopefully you’ll feel more comfortable sharing your insecurities. Once they are out of your head and in the public domain, they have no more power over you, especially if you have taken the steps to love yourself and invest in your own self-value.

In the spirit of sharing, here are my three biggest fears:

Asking for help/ showing weakness

Opening up/ Letting people in

Lack of recognition/ rejection

I think I’ve tackled them in this blog post, and that was part of the idea. I still need help, but I’ve done it. The next step is having the confidence to get out there and do some public speaking on the subject…!

Once you know what your top three fears are, make a conscious effort every day to do what scares you most. Take baby steps at first, but make it part of your daily routine. After a while the feeling of fear will become less and less until it becomes small enough to manage. It may even disappear completely! Trust me, once you have taken control over your fears, there really will be nothing to hold you back in life.

After the overwhelming response to How To Overcome Fear 101, my first article on the subject, I decided to do overcoming fear 202, or Part Two!

We’ve all experienced fear at one time or another, so let’s just dwell on that for a minute. Here’s a short exercise that might help you the next time fear arises in your life:

Think of something in the past you were afraid of, but aren’t any more.

Go back in time in your memory to when you were afraid (it won’t feel the same, as you’ve gone past it, but try to remember how you felt)

Try as best as you can to visualize yourself trying to confront it.

The more you thought about NOT doing it, the bigger and more frightening it became, right?

What did you do and think about to NOT confront it?

That didn’t help, did it?

Now either one of two things happened: A. You were forced to confront it, or B. You were brave enough to tackle it yourself.

You came out the other side and YOU SURVIVED…!

Overcoming fear is a daily challenge for us all at some level. What is scary to some isn’t for others, don’t let other people laugh at your fears, they are genuine and justified! Learning to confront and deal with our fears is part of life. How you choose to deal with your fear obstacles will determine how far you go in life. As you remember back to that fear you overcame, what did you do to overcome it?

If you can relate to the exercise above, why not think about that a little longer while I share my favorite quotation:

“Fear lives in the future.

Regret lives in the past.

Live in the Present, for that is what it is, a gift.”

AND that is my best advice to you when dealing with FEAR… bring it into the present moment. If you’d followed the guidance of article one, you’ve written it down, you’ve taken it out of your head, now it’s time to live in the NOW.

Far too many people are not living the lives they were born to live, because they are afraid of what might happen. In all my years of working with people, the two biggest obstacles are fear of DEATH and fear of the UNKNOWN. Personally, I lump them both together, as none of us know what death actually is, so it’s unknown. So, what are they actually afraid of when they say they are scared of Death or the Unknown?

My answer is that they don’t know who they are.

I don’t want to get too philosophical, but we can’t know Death until we die, and by definition the unknown is unknowable, so why stress and worry about it? At the core of both is the questioner – your self – you are not dead, and if you know yourself, you know enough to live your life.

My FREE BOOK weekend was a big success, so thank you to all of you that partook. I hope you find it useful in getting a great start to 2019. However, some people who have read my book, “My First Goal-Setting Book”, have written to me asking about overcoming fear, so I thought I’d tackle this subject in a blog post.

I deliberately left this out of the book, as it is aimed at people that already have dreams and goals in mind, and have already overcome the hurdle of inactivity due to fear, but I’ll cover it simply below.

Many of you may have heard of the acronym for fear:

False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

The first thing to know about fear is that it’s natural. Everybody at some time in their lives (yes, even me!) experiences fear. Now, just so we are all on the same page here, when I talk about fear in this context I’m not relating to phobias nor situations of mortal danger, I’m referring to negative mental games we play with ourselves that stop us acting on our goals and dreams. You may be surprised to know that fear is the major reason the vast majority of people never even TRY to do anything new or different in their lives!

So, if we all experience fear, how come some people allow it to stop them, and others deal with it and get on with life?

Even successful people feel fear from time to time, the difference is they have developed systems to combat that fear and move through it. I’m going to highlight a few basic techniques you can use to overcome most of your fears.

1. Write It Down!

Most of our fears are ‘mental demons’, they live in our heads, we try to hide them, certainly never talking about them, and the more we feed our fears with attention, the more our imaginations run wild. Take a few moments to write down EXACTLY what it is you think you are scared of. Often times just the exercise of really thinking about it ON PAPER is enough to put it in perspective.

2. Action ALWAYS Cures Fear!

The next time you feel fear, shorten the time between feeling scared and actually acting on it. As said, most fears are not real, they are mental monsters, and the longer we sit on them without acting, the bigger they become. Perhaps you have a phone call to make, but you are scared of how it will go, rather than dwell on it, just pick up the phone and make the call. Perhaps you want to ask someone out on a date, why wait until someone else asks them out, just go for it!

3. Play It In Reverse.

This is the one that I find most useful in my life. Whatever it is I’m procrastinating about or scared of doing – usually those awkward phone calls! – I write down what I’m scared of, then I picture the outcome I want, I really get in touch with how I FEEL after I’ve made that call. I play the scene backwards with that feeling. Only when I feel totally calm and comfortable do I make that call. You know what, over 90% of the time the call goes exactly as I imagined it.

Obviously there’s not enough space in one blog to fully cover this topic – there are hundred of books on the subject, if you wish to find out more – but these are just some of the tricks that I use and work for me. As with most new things, it’s going to take some time and practice, but of all the things you can learn in life, getting a grip on your fears will be one of the best things you did.

I’d love to hear how you get on, so just drop me some of your experiences in the comments section below.

Most authors of self-help books might be cashing in at this time of the year, especially if it’s one about setting goals and New Year’s Resolutions, but because I want people to actually read and benefit from my book, it’s FREE all this weekend, and if you can’t afford to buy the book after this offer expires, you can email me here and I’ll send you a free pdf or audio file!

I always say, “A review to an author is like applause to an actor.” This is ‘thunderous’ applause! What an absolutely amazing way to start the week and new month, and to end the year! With the New Year just around the corner, last month I reached out to some reviewers for my little goal-setting book – since it’s the season of New Year’s Resolutions – and was thrilled to find this review today. I was so touched and humbled that it actually made me cry!

I cannot thank the reviewer enough, so I have copied it here. If you’d like to read the original review, and discover other great reads and reviews, click on this link: Emerald Book Reviews.

“Making a positive difference in people’s lives.”

REVIEW

I really enjoyed reading this book. And, I suspect all fans of the Self-Improvement genre will love having a read of this one also!My First Goal-Setting Book: How To Effectively Set & Achieve Your Life Goals, is a very well written life improvement book. This book is intelligent, wise and packed to the rafters with practical common-sense advice. It becomes very obvious as you read through this page turner that the author is imparting his wisdom and understanding as to what happiness and success really means. It’s an excellent guide for putting things into perspective.

The book description gives a sneak preview: ‘Have you always wanted to get more out of life? Have you wondered why some people are more successful than others? Do you make New Year’s Resolutions, but never seem to keep them? If so, this book is for you.

In this concise, easy-to-read book you will learn the simple secrets to setting SMART goals, learn how to create a strong reason why you want to achieve your goals to keep you motivated along the journey, and create a simple action plan that will ingrain new habits to help you achieve every goal you set in life.

Written in plain English, the author shares his experience and knowledge gathered over the past two decades working with people of all ages from around the world. His life purpose is simple: “To make a positive difference in people’s lives”.’

This book will help you to clarify your thinking, process your feelings, and make better decisions. If you are you ready to stop drifting and design a life you love, this read will help you on your journey.The author has put his heart in the pages of this book and will encourage and give hope to the reader. So many wonderful and courageous people share their experiences through books, and I thank this author for sharing his.

The overall tone was simply imparting knowledge, personal experience and wisdom in a gentle and generous way. His words will help to better equip you to interpret and handle life in a whole new way, which in turn will bring peace, love and joy into your life. If you are looking for inspiration and encouragement in the face of serious issues, this would come highly recommended from me.

No matter what your situation is today, this book will put you on the right path to better things. I’ve been around the block a few times myself and even I found this read to be very insightful. This wonderful new book will show you how to properly tune into life and the simple rules you must follow to achieve this. This by far is one of the best Self-Improvement books I’ve read in a long time. The author must be commended for his time and effort for producing such an insightful book. Also, the writing style is friendly which makes for an enjoyable read.

My First Goal-Setting Book: How To Effectively Set & Achieve Your Life Goals is a wonderful read that will leave you feeling like a better person for having read it. It’s an impressive work for author Anthony James Donnelly and I’ll certainly be looking forward to reading more from him in the future. I would highly recommend this perceptive and intuitive read. A well-deserved five stars from me.

If you would like to buy a copy of the book for yourself or a friend, please click here or on the book cover image. Many thanks!

The Essence of Goal-SettingA step-by-step approach for moving from your status quo to your heart’s desire

By Mary Vinnedge

If most goal-setting and action plans seem overly complex and intimidating, read on. Motivational coach-author Anthony Donnelly distills the process into easy-to-understand steps in My First Goal-Setting Book: How to Effectively Set & Achieve Your Life Goals. Goal-setting might seem new to you, but Donnelly says in practice, you do it constantly: getting out of bed at 6:30, doing your laundry, etc. The trick is to be conscious and intentional with goal-setting. “If you’ve been waiting for your wishes and dreams to come true, but nothing’s happened so far, it’s most likely because you are leaving it up to chance,” he writes.

Begin by jotting down notes about what you want, possibly related to health, leisure, family, career, education, health and/or giving back. Be sure each is something you’re extremely passionate about. Passion is the fuel that drives every successful person, Donnelly says.

Also key: Zero in on a modest goal from your wants. For instance, if you’d like to launch a business, try selling online or persuading a merchant to give you a corner display rather than leasing a 15,000-square-foot building straightaway. If you want to run a marathon but have never done more than dash to your front door in the rain, aim for a 5K race (3.1 miles)―not a half-marathon (13.1 miles)―in two months.

A key early step in Donnelly’s strategy is the SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats) planning tool outlined by Albert Humphrey in the 1960s. Divide a blank sheet of paper into SWOT quadrants and fill them in honestly and without rushing. Your strengths might include technical skills and tenacity. Perhaps weaknesses are impatience or shortage of money. Opportunities? Maybe a trade show or a mentor offering help. Threats could be competitors or a recession. Donnelly explains that this exercise forces you to think deeply and long-term, revealing problems to fix or avoid.

Now develop your goal statement based on SMART―aka Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound―guidelines. Don’t just write, “I want to quit my day job and be a solopreneur.” Instead be precise about your quest, establish a metric (perhaps a startup treasury plus emergency fund total), make sure it’s realistic (honest assessment), be certain the goal suits you (do you see yourself still reveling in this achievement well into the future?), and determine a deadline, something like “I will raise $15,000 and quit my job to do XXXX by next Dec. 31.” Type or write it out, and read it to yourself aloud for a positive affirmation.

Also write down five reasons why your goal matters. An example for an aspiring personal trainer: “I feel great about helping others become fit.” Incorporate the reasons into a paragraph that starts, “The reason this is important to me is…” Read this reasons statement silently and aloud. If you don’t feel thrilled about the five-point summary, put your paper aside, perhaps overnight, Donnelly says. Then revise the statement until it feels empowering. Add it below your SMART goal statement, and read these statements at least twice every day, aloud if possible. Doing so at bedtime is especially beneficial as your brain will mull them as you rest and provide you with fresh insights after you awaken.

Of course, the best plan in the world means nothing unless you act.

The next step in Donnelly’s process is the creation of action items and intermediate goals. Referring to that $15,000 needed by Dec. 31, state what needs to happen after nine months (savings of, say, $12,000), six months, three months, two months and one month. Write out these interim goals and deadlines and track your achievements. Personal-development experts emphasize the importance of celebrating each milestone with a reward such as a new book, massage or special coffee drink.

As you push forward, write weekly goals and focus on each while also visualizing the big picture, that final goal. Donnelly considers the ability to visualize your progress to be crucial for success.

Once you experience great results from setting and reaching that first modest goal, Donnelly predicts you’ll incorporate goal-setting into every area of your life, with your objectives becoming ever more ambitious.

Christmas is a time for giving, a time for loving, and a time for sharing, but it can also be very stressful with all of the holiday shopping crowds vying to find that ‘perfect’ gift for somebody. Books make great gifts because they just keep giving, especially if they are as packed full of useful information as MY FIRST GOAL-SETTING BOOK by development coach and mentor, Anthony James Donnelly.

Many people start to think about New Year’s Resolutions at this time of year, but the reason most people fail in their endeavors is they don’t have a workable plan of action.

He uses clear, simple language with no ‘fluff’, just the information you need to succeed.

If you’ve never set goals before, or set them but not hit them, or are shopping for somebody you know that needs help setting goals to get their life back on track, this is the book for you. It’s available in three convenient formats: Kindle, Paperback, and Audio Book, narrated by the author.

The chances are, even if YOU are a magician, you haven’t ever heard of him!

You’ve heard of the Magic Circle though, right? Ever dreamed of being the President of the Magic Circle? Jack’s had that honour many times over – six times, in fact, if memory serves me right!

He’s also been performing magic (and devising magic tricks) since before many reading this were even born! He’s performed with more publicly known magicians like Paul Daniels and Ali Bongo, on TV and up and down the UK. So, why have you never heard of him?

Perhaps that’s magic! Or, it might just be that he really IS the most humble magician – EVER! I was fortunate to have first worked with him when I was just a teenager (many, many years ago!) and he is a very close family friend for many decades.

In this book THE REAL SECRETS OF MAGIC he very generously shares his wealth of knowledge, experience, and hundreds of tricks and how to perform them successfully. Those that know Jack will attest that he is one of the unsung greats of the magic world.

“GREAT magicians NEVER die…

…they simply vanish…!”

Don’t take my word for it – I might be tricking you! Just click on the links and have a look at the table of contents… I dare you to find a book on magic that has so much for such a small price tag! If you do, please comment below.

***

Anthony James Donnelly is an author, motivational and business coach, and life guide. He has spent over 20 years working directly with individuals and corporations to adjust their perspectives on life. In his last book, “My First Goal-Setting Book: How To Effectively Set & Achieve Your Life Goals”, he concisely explains how to get whatever you want out of life. A great accompaniment to “WHY DO i CARE?”

It has been a while since I released a new book. I have many works simmering in the background, and fortunately my acting career has taken a front seat this year involving a lot of international travel. I have also been preoccupied with a new song project, which I’ll expand on towards the end of this post.

BUT finally the wait is over!

It’s a short book with a very unassuming cover, much in the style of my goal-setting book. The focus is on problem solving this time: practical steps to put your personal issues into perspective and create workable solutions.

An extract from the introduction should shed some light on the direction of this new work:

“There are more diamonds in the world than people… AND we think they are precious! There are more bank notes in the world than people… AND we think they have value! There are more books in the world than people… AND we think they contain knowledge! There are more flowers in the world than people… AND we think they have beauty! BUT, as insignificant as you may feel, you are UNIQUE, so that kinda makes you rather special, don’t you think?”

It was inspired from a very long conversation with a great friend that I’ve known for many, many years. They were stuck in what they saw as an impossible situation, and our conversation circled round and round without them really wanting to take any action to remedy their problem. They were using every trick in the book to try and get out of accepting THEY were responsible for where they were. In the end I had to hang up and send them a copy of one of my parables to read in the hope the simplicity and metaphor would soak into their subconscious and they would find the right path again.

This book is a dilution of that conversation. I hope you enjoy it, and it is of use to you.

If you’d like a review copy in exchange for your opinion and thoughts on it, please write a message in the comments section below. Thank you!

***

Anthony James Donnelly is an author, motivational and business coach, and life guide. He has spent over 20 years working directly with individuals and corporations to adjust their perspectives on life. In his last book, “My First Goal-Setting Book: How To Effectively Set & Achieve Your Life Goals”, he concisely explains how to get whatever you want out of life. A great accompaniment to “WHY DO i CARE?”

In case you hadn’t noticed, there is a striking resemblance between the famous Christmas song crooner, Tone Def Tony, and myself. A little like the similarity between Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus! This is purely coincidental. However, I would like to pledge my support for his contribution to seasonal song-man-ship, and help promote his latest fundraising efforts:

If you can support in any way, even if it’s just like I’m doing here and sharing his project, that would be great! Thank you for supporting starving artists!