Bisping’s gameness is undeniable, but the question now becomes: Has Bisping always been a dick, or has he developed his dickishness over the course of his UFC career as a way to market himself?

Well, if this video of a 15 year-old Bisping fighting in Britain’s first “No Holds Barred” match is to be believed, I’d have to assume it’s the former.

Fighting at an event dubbed “International KSBO III”, Bisping is introduced by fresh-faced young chap sporting a brilliant maroon sport coat/Weird Al Yankovic tie combo (:55). He faces off with his opponent, Gene Phillips, and partakes in the ceremonial pre-fight bow (2:25). All’s well so far.

It is when Phillips extends his hand for a gentleman’s shake, however, that Bisping is all but forced to channel his inner d-bag in the form a front kick to Phillip’s chest which knocks him flat on his ass. Make no mistake about whether or not Bisping saw Phillips extend his hand before throwing the kick — he did. And then he went Karate Kid on the poofter for having the bollocks to do so. Classic Bisping, literally!

Despite this somewhat glaring condemnation of Michael Bisping’s hereditary assholism, I’m honestly convinced that he only threw the kick out of confusion. Someone actually tried to be cordial to Bisping, and like the abused Dachshund I recently adopted from my local shelter (ladies), he simply did know how to respond and reverted back to what he knew. Just as I couldn’t blame Weiner Herzdog (the name needs a little work) for biting my hand when I went to pet him, I can’t blame Bisping for reacting to kindness with violence. Plus, the ref did give the signal to fight, so what did Phillips expect, a tea party?

As a matter of fact, I bet that if you were to look deeper into the psyche of your Michael Bispings and your Nick Diazs, you would find some traumatic childhood event that is entirely responsible for the way they act today. Of course, the only way to truly see into a person’s psyche would be through some sort of dream-jumping regressive therapy. I don’t know how it would work, but it would probably involve multiple dream levels, projections, limbo, and a nightmare within a nightmare. BRAHHHMMMM BRAHHHHMMMM