Whilst being in the depths of my depression and feeling the pain from Fibromyalgia, I’ve had no means of real escape, or anyone to whom I could really talk to, or even understand a part of what I was going through. I have been very much alone with my illnesses mentally, physically and emotionally, and writing this blog is part of my healing process.
Writing this is so important for me, and I hope by doing so, some readers may identify with what I have to say. Sx ☺

Thursday, 1 January 2015

New dawn, new day, new year and and hopefully new life...

At last, the start of a new year.

Heaven only knows how desperate I was to leave the last one.

I haven't made any resolutions as such, but there are some things, that I definitely want to leave behind. I am not planning on giving up any habits as such, because I have a firm philosophy that "everyone should have at least three vices for a happy life".

Unfortunately most people automatically think of a vice, as something that is bad for you, but to me, a vice is "anything that gives you pleasure and makes you feel good inside"! And yes it could be drinking and smoking, eating chocolate (the usuals), or it could be cutting the crusts off from your bread, because, you feel it makes your sandwich taste better. A vice could even be that you like to fit in an extra Pilates class, when you should be doing something else, or that you like to lock the bathroom door, and have 1/2 an hour of peace and quiet, while you indulge in bubbles, candlelight and music.

But whatever it is, it may be bad for your health in one way, but it can be positively good for your mental and spiritual health in another.

I learnt for real a while back, that life really is too short. Too short to deny yourself things that make you happy. Too short to waste time having pointless arguments that lead nowhere. Too short to get stressed out over stupid things, that really shouldn't be an issue. Too short to waste precious time falling out with people, just to carry unnecessary anger around. Too short to let the wrong people stay in your life, when you know they just simply don't belong. Too short to keeping fighting for things that are not worth fighting for. Too short to waste time worrying about or regretting things that you cannot control or change. Too short to fret about debts, that are really insignificant in the over all scheme of things. Too short to ignore the things that really matter. The list can on, but this is just a few of the things that I believe and that matter to me.

It dawned on me a short while ago, while having a face to face with myself, that for a long time my life has not been about me. It has been about other peoples. It's been about my family and my friends, about their unhappiness, their fears, their anger, their frustrations, their wars, their problems, their issues etc. I have allowed some people to take up too much space in my life, and they have not cultivated their plot, so it has become overgrown with weeds that are deep rooted.

Having recognised this painful truth, and as much as I may love them, some of these people have done me more harm than good, and they need to go or have their role reduced. They have often been a huge drain on my resources, almost making me topple under the weight of their burdens. They have taken so much time away from me, forcing me to rush through my days, never having time to sit and reflect on my own concerns. So now, one thing I know I can do to improve my health and my life, is to start letting them go so I can reclaim my time back.

So I have decided that this year, is going to be 'MY' time. I will spend more time focusing on the things that make me happy, or feel good, and really look after myself and my needs. One thing I know for sure, is that I will no longer spend time with people, who have no time for me.

I just want to laugh, to dance and sing!

I am fully prepared to embrace this new year, and I am actually excited by the many possibilities that lie ahead! Sx