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* Man Utd get past Olympiakos, racing into a comfortable position in the first half and somehow not conceding in injury time. As surely as night follows day and fidel_catstro follows brusma, the first game in which rooney and rvp have linked up well in 10 games or so is followed by an injury to the latter. Welbeck is Wellbeck.

* Dortmund lose the battle but win the aggregate battle, joining the veritable "red devils" in the quarter finals.

Both perfectly capable of putting Chelsea out, but I like it when we draw teams we haven't played a million times before. Even Real would be good, actually. I suppose the time elapsed since we last played them (1998) is sufficient.

Fancied a 3-0 Man Utd win, using whatever was in my account (tenner or so). Just as I was logging in, pipe burst in one of the bathrooms, so forgot all about it as I waded and mopped for an hour. PISSED OFF.

we've actually had worse injury problems than most teams, just seems to go unnoticed, this may be as a result of flying to shitholes and the north pole every thursday, but not exclusively.

also doesn't help that we have adequate cover (and a lack of it) in all the wrong places, which was pretty obvious from about august onwards.

consider there have been no clear tactics/system for the players we have, and a load of weird misfits (what are chadli and siggurdsson actually for??), plus managers having weird favourites (hating BAE, holtby, defoe, adebayor, loving bentaleb and kane and rose) and it's all gone quite well considering.

surely going through tonight would be good for spurs? they might get battered in the next round or they might draw someone shit and beat them. don't get the logic of wanting teams you don't like to win matches

Did what everyone predicted and shut up shop and invited pressure once we were 3-0 up and were very lucky not to concede, they carved out some great openings that a non-shit striker would have eaten up.

Taking off Welbz for Fletcher summed it up really, the game was stretched, he had been causing them problems all evening with his directness and pace in-behind so we choose him as the forward to withdraw. Daft.

Flamini 9/10 not based on talent, just on his impact as an organiser (good pointing) and just generally being exactly what the Arse midfield needed. Takes the pressure of shit tippy-tappy centre mids to try and play as DMs and concentrate on being tippy-tappy dickheads.

Ozil 8/10 looks really bored all the time but is class and seems to get loads of 'key passes' and the like

tbf i think heartless evil clueless genius levy might actually be susceptible to a fan backlash, not sure there would be a massive one if he got rid of sherwood, but if he did and then the replacement failed again spurs fans could go all green and gold, and i don't think levy would like that at all.

Jed Steer- i dunno/10
Bacuna - slotted in very well. quite adaptable and actually decent in a few positions. 7.5/10
Helenius - well ... 2/10
Luna - started alright, tailed off massively. might even be behind joe bennett now. 3/10
Tonev- one of the shittest players I've seen in a long time. But he's so bad it's quite funny rather than infuriating . 2/10
Okore - can't really judge as he got that horrid injury
Kozak - another Kozak moment. He scored a few, all either mishits or the ball hitting him but at least they found the net. 6/10
Holt - hahahah/10
Bertrand - hope we keep him. 8/10

like Levy's away on business and hasn't realised that AVB's disappeared and Tim is holding it all together in the mean time. I imagine it to to be a bit like The Sorcerers Apprentice, only with someone dimmer than Mickey Mouse. I.e. Tim Sherwood.

and keep talking about the all the great 'lads' nights in' they're gonna have. Colin Hendry then comes round every evening and Levy has to sit there as Hendry just stares at him and Sherwood talks and talks and talks and spills beer on his nice carpet.

Amorebieta - 5/10 - doesn't have the engine for the premiership but at least he's not senderos
Stekelenburg - 6/10 - incredibly nervy looking for his experience level, and often injured, but has pulled out some incredible saves too
Taarabt - 3/10 - stepover
Darren Bent - 3/10 - get's a 3 for his goal at OT, other than that a total nonentity
Scott parker - 4/10 - over shadowed by yer man steve sidwell, clearly on the decline and doesn't seem as comfortable on the ball as he once was
William Kvist - 2/10 - looks a total liability whenever he's near the ball
Lewis Holtby - 7/10 - great on the ball, willing runner, always looks so unhappy that no-one's anywhere near his level
Johnny Heitinga - 6/10 - hasn't ex/imploded yet, and has bagged a couple of goals
Konstantinos Mitroglou - 10/10 - after teaching bruce wayne how to do martial arts, he's now primed and ready to kick the goals to keep us up, best signing since steve marlet

he's essential. Ramsey's form was a lot to do with partnering Flam instead of Arteta or Wilshere. In fact, because Ramsey's only had half a season then Flamini has been Arsenal's BEST centre-mid ooooooh.

I'm not a United fan, but that didn't stop me spending the better part of an hour at work trawling various forums, fansites and Twitter to discover why he's so hated. There seems to be an incredible level of vitriol towards him (80% or so calling him a cunt) and yet I've struggled to pin down exactly why.

Dunno whether there's potentially libelous reasons that are stopping people spilling the beans, but anyone Utd fans care to explain?

Negredo: 7/10. Started like a house on fire, love the guy's attitude and what he brings to the team but he's badly gone off the boil lately. Hopeful his first four months were more indicative of him than his recent form, which is summed up by Dzeko getting chosen over him more often than not

Jovetic: 6/10. Pretty much as advertised: great-looking talent, would be a decent Aguero fill-in but a complete permacrock.

Fernadinho: 9/10. Exactly what we needed, better than expected. Scary how reliant we've become on him. Gets a point deducted for the amount we paid.

Navas: 8/10. Similarly pretty much went straight into the gaping Adam Johnson slot, and has proven to be much better than him. Settled in better than I expected, great option on the bench and although he lacks a bit in the intelligence department there's arguably no better out-and-out winger in the Premiership currently.

Demichelis: 5/10. Gets a lot of flak, some fair some not. He is what he was bought to be - a back-up - and it's not really his fault he's played as much as he is. Not being able to do the high line thing is his major problem, as a defender he's fine and demonstrably better than Lescott.

The fact that he's got an absurdly prominent position in choosing what gets displayed at Old Trafford leading to some embarrassing, unrepresentative stuff going up.

Mainly it's the cozying up to the owners and vocal support of them, disdain for the anti-Glazer stuff. One of the main things that a lot of fans hate about them is how they've divided the fanbase so much and he's kind of the representative of the pro-Glazer stuff.

The singing section stuff he's set up has led to loads of long term season ticket holders being moved against their will.

Lots of rumours that he converted from an Everton fan as well.

I can't remember who I was talking to about why people hate Frank Turner and he said "it's like he's the unelected representative for all of us musicians but he doesn't speak for me" or something like that. Think of him as the Frank Turner of Utd fans.

Mark Schwarzer- hardly plays, but I now know that Ross Turnbull isn't on the bench at any given point so there can really only be one mark awarded to the guy. 10/10

Marco Van Ginkel- broken/10

Andre Schurrle- has taken a while to get involved, rumoured to be a bit of a party boy. Looks the part in theory and has a pretty good goals return but seems woefully ill educated on the matter of the offside rule. 6/10

Samuel Eto'o- not all that great but miles better than what we already had. I particularly enjoy how much of a ballbag wind-up merchant he is and how he celebrates every mishit goal as if it might be his last. It might be, at his age. 7/10

Willian- another who I should be all about in theory, given he's ridiculously athletic and diligent, but his refusal to take people on is irking me. Has coped far better and adapted more quickly from Russian no-mark football than I'd thought he would, mind. 7/10

Nemanja Matic- loads of our fans love him and that he will soon single handedly devour all our rivals, but I think he looks cumbersome and terrifyingly one footed. Not yet sure/10.

Kelvin Wilson, 8/10 Settled straight back in. He kept Messi quiet once y'know. Now out for the season.
Jack Hobbs, 9/10 A perfect championship level defender. Now out for the season.
David Vaughan, 8/10 Neat in possession solid in the tackle. Runs out of puff after 75mins every time he plays. Now out for the season.
Eric Lichaj, 7/10 Decent in both full back positions. Seems a nice guy too. Out for the season.
Danny Fox, 4/10 a step up from Dan Harding, but then pretty much anyone is. Underwhelming.
Rafik Djebbour, 2/10 looks like he won a raffle to play. £2m. And allegedly top earner at the club.
Nathaniel Chalobah, 3/10 Having looked amazing for Watford he looked terrible for us. Like a poor man's Guy Moussi. Sent packing back to Chelsea and then somewhere else where I dare say he'll do ok.
Jamie Mackie, 6/10. Charges about winning the ball in dangerous areas. Dribbles the ball out of play a lot. I like his hustle.
Djamel Abdoun, 6/10 in patches he's looked like he's far too good for the championship. Most of the time he just trots about looking exasperated that one of his passes or crosses has gone to waste. Clearly thinks defending is beneath him, which I kind of respect. Also.

Jamie Paterson , 8/10 Hesitant start, probably now our most consistent attacker, behind the mercurial Reid.
Gonzalo Jara Reyes, 7/10 Versatile, tidy in possession, bit of a cheat. Lots to like.
Darius Henderson. 6/10 Not really played a lot due to injury, competition and punching people in pubs . When he starts he encourages a direct style of play and we generally play poorly. As a sub he usually scores or gets sent off. Has a very good minutes to goal ratio.
Dorus de Vries, N/A barely played, looked a bit shit when he has.
Kevin Gomis , N/A played once so far. Big unit, little else to say.

Bayern - Man Utd: Bayern give Moyes & Co a severe violation to the rear, including a glorious hatrick by Kroos at the theatre of dreams with him kissing the Munich badge at the Stretford end - 1-7.

Chelsea - Real: Ronaldo steals all the attention away from Jose with a stunning performance in both legs. Jose cries a bit and then calls Ronaldo whatever the Portugese word is for chav and blames the ref - 2-5.

Barca - Dortmund: Injury ravaged Dortmund sucumb to the team formely known as best ever, Xavi completes 8356 passes over the two legs - 4-1

PSG - Athletico: After a scoring two goals from inside his own half in the first leg Don Simeone eyeballs Ibra and orders a hit. 2-2 (Madrid through on away goals)

in which he says that playing for Sunderland, as a smaller club, is harming his World Cup chances. It goes on to quote Steve Bruce saying that only the top 8 clubs get players in the England squad even when they're not starting, that this is unfair, that Curtis Davies is the best thing since sliced bread etc.

What's everyone's thoughts on this? The interview was written to make it look as if they had a good point, but I'm not sure they do. Players play for top clubs for a reason - because they're good, or at least better than most other players in that position elsewhere in the league. Yes there's a few weird anomalies and oversized transfer fees being paid for players like Scott Sinclair, but by and large I'd rather see an Arsenal benchwarmer play for England than a Fulham starter. They're just better footballers, simple as that. The 'alternatives' the Guardian suggests include Leon Britton and Peter Crouch.

I take Johnson's point and think he should go to the World Cup personally, but it seems to be quite a common opinion that this top 8 dominance is unfair and I'm not sure it is at all.

to 'top 8' because loads of players from Southampton are in the squad.

Think Johnson's quite talented, but he was at a top club and couldn't cut it and it's not like he's been tearing it up consistently for Sunderland either.

Always seemed like he took the brief hype around his emergence much too seriously, should probably concentrate on being good all the time rather than waiting till he hits a decent run of form and crying about not getting the recognition he deserves.

but he's such a bit part player. Which is why he was found out at City and is playing for relegation fodder.

The thing about favouring players from better teams makes sense though. International players should be a) used to playing with other good players and b) used to playing against good teams in Europe and the like. No point recruiting a load of gimps who occasionally look good on MOTD.

he was on the touchline screaming at the players to get further up the pitch. They just ignored him and reverted to the 'let's sit back and terrify the fanbase' approach they've had when ahead for at least four years now.

Although there does become a point at which being a squad player at a big club, and sitting on the bench for most matches, or only playing for 15 minutes here or there, reduces your sharpness and makes any judgement of form impossible.

In short, for the England national side and the Premier League to improve, the Champions' League should be reduced to the level where good English players are not all hoovered up as squad players for the top four and are able to play full competitive games every week.

chiriches: 6/10 unlucky to be out injured but i think he's looked pretty promising when he's played, decent on the ball and has got a weird head.

chadli: 4/10, about as good as i expected tbh which wasn't much

paulinho: 4/10 Could obviously be a really good player for us but yeah goes missing and i'm not really sure what he does atm.

lamela: 1/10 Got to feel sorry for the lad #headsgone. Hope he can settle down next year.

bentaleb 5/10 Well out of his depth against City/Arsenal etc which is not his fault, it's Tim's for constantly playing him over established midfielders.

fryers 4/10 yeah not great

soldado 4/10 decent at penalties aint he

capoue 5/10 I blame Sherwood. Hardly played due to injury then has to play as a makeshift CB. Tim then decides he's shit/he hates him.

eriksen 7/10 yeah worrying that he's been the best and he was just someone we took a punt on because we could last minute. Nice to see we've learnt from the mistakes we made with Modric by putting him out left rather than building a team around him.

"[Wenger has] spent the last few years pioneering the high-fashion full-length rain-sodden puffa gown, a coat that starts from the basic proviso that whatever else happens out there having slightly cold knees must be avoided at all costs, and which constructs its polyester-mix fashion cathedral on top of this single unflinching principle."

no one cares about international football anymore (except brusma). Club football is more exciting and produces better teams.

It's such a stupid fix because a player's football development starts when theyre extremely young. Supposedly, if you don't have the right technique by age 7 then you won't be a professional football player. If the english national team is to be good again it needs to focus on the underlying culture and norms that shapes the way kids play and think about football, it has nothing to do with the amount of 19-32 year old english players you legislate to play at the highest level.

Have any of the national associations whose youth development success we'd like to emulate resorted to simply banning a certain number of foreigners?

I'm not particularly bashful about admitting that my interests are vested in club football and not the English national side, but even if I was all about the three lions I'd be pretty dubious of what you're suggesting. If you're genuinely suggesting it, that is.

Your first sentence is nonsense. The World Cup always has been and always will be better than anything else in football.

The rest is spot-on though. Quotas are just tinkering when the underlying problem is that England haven’t been producing young players of the technical ability to match the rest of the world (or the coaches to produce them) for some time.

I never said anything about banning overseas players, just that the FA should seek to reduce their number and their dominance of the Premier League if you want the England team to succeed.

If you really want the England team to do well, and place that as a higher priority than the financial success of the Premier League, or the success of English teams in Europe, then you need to introduce a whole raft of measures, starting with a commitment to youth coaching with a focus on technique from a young age, including the adequate compensation of lower league clubs and the maintenance of the the pyramid structure, restrictions on club ownership, especially regarding property subsidiaries, right up to restrictions on player-hoarding and loan arrangements.

and I'm not sure I do, either. Especially when you consider the success of (for example) Brazilian, Spanish and German clubs in producing talent seems to come specifically from the powerful clubs there taking players from wherever they want, whenever they want and then training them however they want, with little obligation to compensate clubs.

In fact, I'd say there's a pretty good argument that freeing up two or three 'super clubs' do whatever the hell they want is a pretty good way to establish a strong national side, and that top-down regulation tends to stunt that development while (to differing degrees and only relatively) preserving a healthy domestic pyramid.

I'm sure culture plays a part - emigrating just isn't in our spheres for the most part - but there's just loads of money in English football. A mid-table, even relegation-battling, Premier League club will play a better wage than most Europa League qualifiers in even Europe's better leagues. Extreme example obviously, but QPR's wage bill last year was apparently twice as much as Dortmund's.

I'm not suggesting I'm at all for big clubs being able to do what they want, btw. I've wittered about regulation changes to where young players can be signed from, how they can be trained and what recompense must be paid that will benefit my club hugely being a Very Bad Thing loads of times on here, but people understandably don't read those posts.

Pretty impossible, but one that I always enjoy is his celebration when Cesc scored against Spurs straight from kick-off and he was so excited that he added the most ungainly little skip imaginable into his usual 'double bicep curl' celebration.

but i still can't bring myself to hate him.
would be devastated if any of our decent players went to leeds but i don't think i'd hate them either, just hate the system that allows a club like leeds united to exist

Total dick who will do nothing all game but roll around on the turf, mouth off at everyone in a ten yard vicinity, then score the winner out of absolutely nothing. I'd hate him five minutes after he walked out of the door.

bradford city = local corner shop.
tesco comes along and offers local corner shop's best cashier the chance to earn twice as much money, play in a higher league & inexplicably have their match broadcast on sky nearly every weekend. don't blame him for taking that opportunity but blame the system (capitalism) that allows tescos to exist.