Tuesday, October 13, 2009

You make my eyes bright, dear.

I havent been posting much, because I didnt feel like I had the time. Even though, I had all the time in the world to post at least 2 new ones. Let me tell you why. My time was occupied by that incredible boy, who made my heart skipped a beat on Sunday night. A very tiring and late night. Let me refresh my mind, to write it, makes it feel so very real. Because I still dont believe it happened.

I reached my home in Malacca a little too late. Since, I didnt feel like going back to nothing when I was still in JB. I helped Lynn with her guitar strings and listened to songs that she was trying to finish. We still havent made any new ones since the beginning of the year, I think. She was determined to finish at least two, so that we have at least five of our own songs. Ok, moving on.

I drove to Malacca with a heavy heart. When you're driving towards nothing in particular, where you're not even sure if there's anything to look forward to -- it felt lonely. Even pathetic, maybe. Acap kept texting, asking and nagging and making me feel very annoyed. But he was a good liar. He said, "I miss you." And I answered, "So? What are you going to do about it?"

He said it hurted him to read my text. I felt guilty for making him feel guilty. But, I didnt say anything. I kept on driving. When I passed the tol, I texted him. He thought that I have already reached my place. I laughed when he texted saying, "Ingatkan you dahsampai. You kan drive mcm maniac."Well baby,"I am not a rocket."

After getting McNuggets from McDonald's drive-thru, I continued on the lonely journey back home. When I reached UV, I carried all my bags up -- and they were super heavy! I had like two plastic bags, one stuffed duffel bag, a backpack, my guitar and last but not least, my handbag. Halfway on the lift, it felt like I'm carrying a ton. But I managed! Well I thought that was it, but then I realized I forgot my nuggets. -_-" I had to go down and get it. I might as well have divided the load, and had two lighter trips. Rather than one heavy load, and another one that consist of me carrying only one plastic bag, that doesnt even reach 1kg.

So then I was up in my room with the laptop on and me eating some nuggets. While checking Acap'sfb, since he wanted me to see the new photos he uploaded. I couldnt find any. When he texted me to call him because it was urgent, I contemplated about it. He's always saying things are urgent. When I do call him, I find out that he only wanted to say hi. That's Muhammad Asraf for you. Being serious is so not him, so he says. I waited for a while before picking up the phone and speed-dialing his number. So here it is!

When I called he asked me what I was doing and stuff. So I talked to him normally, without any suspicions. Well, I should have suspected something was off -- with his constant questionings on my whereabouts. I thought he was playing around when he said that he doesnt have anywhere to go that night. I was worried since I thought he was somewhere in KL, and in trouble. And he said it so-oh innocently. Then he asked me to open the front door for him. I didnt believe him, since I dont want to be pranked. And he's always playing tricks, I didnt think that this boy, a 17++ year old boy, would even have it in him to pull this off. I opened the door, for a second and then shut it close because he was not there. I was mad at him for playing around. Then he said it again, to open the door. I did -- and there he was.

I stood there laughing. I could not believe my eyes. I thought I was dreaming, since I really wanted him to be there. To be standing in front of me. You know, I've always wished someone was in front of me. When I needed him to be there the most, but it never came true. But this -- he was actually there, smiling that smile of his. I felt like smacking him! I opened the front door gate, and he hugged me. I hugged him back -- very tightly. Like I said, I REALLY wanted him to be in front of me at the time, and he was. I dont know why, but I was so happy.. that even unexpected tears started to roll down my cheeks. I was so embarrassed I didnt feel like letting go until it dried up. He pulled away for a bit, and kissed my forehead. Boy, consider yourself growing up. Haha. I felt like I'm the little girl instead of you being the younger one.

Thank you for everything. You always say, "Mesti you sayang I gilakan right now?" and "You're so lucky to have me kan?" I know I always shrug you off. Well, I do love you. My heart is overflowing with love for you. And am I lucky? :) I hope I am. && Lets make this work, ok?

This Thursday is my birthday, and Friday will be Acap's. Our first birthday together. I dont know what will happen. I hope, good things. Even if it's not on time.

Note : There was a time when I was with you that I unconsciously smiled. It's because -- Do you remember that song I sang. Bright Eyes - First Day Of My Life. The lyrics went like this, "Remember the time you drove all night. Just to meet me in the morning." That's what you did, and it's so funny how it actually happened. I couldnt help but to -- smile.

The Basics,

I am the daughter to the most amazing parents/the little sister to the most annoying-but-lovable elder brothers/flawed but unique in my own way/a bad student, learning the ropes of becoming a great one. I am also someone who constantly needs to have an outlet for random ramblings. Truth be told, mostly I am --