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it’s a sunny day. we are looking at houses to find our new home. this one isn’t advertised as for sale, but it’s what we want. i am with my brother and sister. our sister stays in the black luxury car. my brother is wearing a suit and i am wearing a short sleeved white dress with ruffles piled up to my chin. it is a big old farmhouse we are visiting today. my brother, Death, smiled at me as we entered and I saw myself with my brunette hair in a loose bun, a conspiring hint of a smug smile touching the corners of my mouth. Standing in the enclosed sun porch and speaking with the surprised but friendly owner, i look out the window and see a group of men in suits kidnapping my sister and shoving her into another car. with her black boots and the bottom of her white dress still sticking out of the back door, i turn to the owner and ask, “Is it true there’s room for dancing downstairs?” he nods emphatically and offers to show us. i link my arm with my brother’s and tell the owner sternly, “we’d like to see the rummy room.”
Downstairs in the basement a group of friends are eating at a bar and watching vacation videos. Carlo is there. They give me a bowl of delicious vegetable soup which i devour. i go to pour my remaining broth and bits of veggie mush into the compost bin and do not notice until it is too late that Carlo has placed his cd partly over the bin opening and i have spilled broth on it. it’s in a blank white envelope like signed pikes so i assume it must mean something special to him. i do not tell him and i do not clean it up out of embarrassment. instead i watch what he is showing us. he claims to be documenting pagan bands. this seems far-fetched as i have always known him to be a reserved christian. to prove his claims he says he has a video of a concert he attended last week. he shows us a clip of the concert, but he is facing the camera, not the stage, and he is the subject of the video. he looks into the camera stoically, blinking a few times, never changing his expression. over his shoulder in the background is an incredible pagan-themed metal opera being performed by a dude that looks like iggy pop. we tell carlo that it’s great, that it must feel invigorating to be surrounded by the energy of the performance and the energy of the audience. he notices his cd is wet with broth and he dries it off with paper towels, taking it to the sink to rinse off the disc inside the envelope. he doesn’t say anything about it. on the road that night i tell my brother that we have to find our sister. we have to do everything possible to find her! he says he understands. he sounds calm but tired. he says he has an idea. and we drive through the darkness on Mathew Rd.