Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Look at this hot babe! She is 44 today! She is my sister Brenda. She lives in Louisiana with her daughter and boyfriend. I think I'm going to call her in a few minutes and wake her up! Hehe! Happy Birthday!

Monday, January 28, 2008

I got alot of good responses to yesterday's question that I had. One disturbed me somewhat. It said that we are just Human as so therefore have no right to question God's motives because it is evil. That pretty much sums it up. Those aren't the exact words. If you want to see the exact words you can read them in the comments on that entry. I was a little upset by that comment, I felt it directed at me, but then I came to realize that the writer was just saying that the act itself is evil no matter who does it. I do not feel that way. God gave us a brain to think and feel and wonder. I don't think He wants us to cower in fear because we wonder why He does what He does. Yes I am Human, I was born to be human and I will die Human. I will probably die wondering what I will see on the other side. Will it be heaven, a nothingness, or the fires of Hell?

Enough of that! Tomorrow is my sister Brenda's birthday! She will be 44. Teehee! I know, it will be happening to me in a couple more years! Love ya sis!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

I get alot of e-mails and see pictures and graphics telling me about God's love. God knows us from the moment of conception to the moment of death and then we will be reunited with him but only if we have accepted his Son Jesus Christ as Savior. There is also the belief that God knows our life, that it is pre-planned for us. This is my question. If God knows everything that will happen to us then he must already know that we will or will not accept him as our God and Jesus as Savior. Why have people born knowing that they will go to hell? Why have the baby born whos father will throw him off a bridge. Why be born and have your Aunt strip you naked and walk into traffic with you? Why let the children be raped, mutilated, abused etc? What lesson can be learned in that? What about the mother with children who gets cancer and dies slow and terrible and in agony. Is this God's plan for her? What if she doesn't accept Him as Savior first. Then she gets to burn in Hell too! There are thousands of examples I could state. I don't understand any of this. I know I will get all the statements of the faithful like, No one knows God's plan etc... I just don't understand that if God loves us and knows us why send us out to perish? Why send some out to die and burn in hell? Just my thoughts....

Friday, January 25, 2008

Have you ever had one of those days where you wish you could run away? Lately I have been having those evenings. I leave work, go pick up Sarah and come home and as soon as I walk in the door I am doing things and fielding questions and requests and demands. Yesterday I didn't even get my coat off and I was on the run. What's for dinner? The dog pooped under the couch again. I want to go on the computer. Meanwhile, there are groceries to be brought in, the sink is overflowing with dirty dishes, the house is filthy and all the kids are interesting in is playing games and being fed. Never mind helping out Mom. I'm just the unpaid help. When I ask for help I get treated like I'm a slave driver. Garbage belongs on the floor, toys on the floor, coats and shoes on the floor. The cat is eating tinsel, the puppy is crapping everywhere. Why did I get a puppy? Why? The cats want to be fed, the puppy wants to be fed, the kids want to be fed. Who is going to feed me? Who is going to help me? Who cares about me? I feel like I really have the short end of the stick. I am raising tyrants and bullies. Whiners and slackers. I need Prince Charming to come in and save the day... or a maid.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

I wish I had a beautiful rose garden and produced roses like the one above. Today is my last day of work before a day off. I hope the day goes well. We got to do our own job the last two days. We have a overloaded list of rehab residents to see. Our boss put 36 on when we usually only carry 32. I don't know why she did that knowing that we are getting pulled so often. She is going to be gone the next 4 days to Lake Placid anyhow.

I am hoping to go on vacation myself to Louisiana in April. I had to e-mail Sarah's father and ask if we can switch Winter/Spring breaks. I'm hoping he won't be a jerk and refuse it. Child Support is taking him back to court because he stopped paying for a month. He owes me $800 in arrears now. I know he is getting his unemployment again. I got a check last week and should get another today. I hope he pays his house payment because I am getting sick of the daily phone calls from the collection people. Really sick of it. I am thinking of calling them and asking them if they want an arm or leg. Anyhow I haven't seen my Mom in a year and I miss her. I want to go down and learn how to sew. I am going to buy a sewing machine. I would like to make gifts for people and sew my own scrub tops and clothes for the dog! I am just in love with this puppy. She is so sweet and smart. She is partially housebroke. She is using the pee-pee pads right now. I discovered that getting her outside when its this cold is useless. I am going to take her over to the nursing home again tomorrow for a visit. The residents just love holding a soft, warm puppy! You should see their faces light up when they see her coming. The eyes open wide, the smiles creep on and the hands reach out! They start to coo and awww. I mixed some soft food with kibble today for the puppy and she went nuts over it. She ate the whole bowl of it. One of the cats came over to investigate and she growled. She did not growl at me. Funny when I worked at the Animal Shelter in Scotia that would be punishable by death for a puppy. They had "temperament tests" and growling at another dog or person while eating was a reason to put it to sleep. To me that is normal puppy behavior! Needless to say, they had very few dogs available for adoption. In fact I remember a whole litter of gorgeous purebred puppies came in and only one made it up for adoption. The others were put down for so called aggressive behavior during eating. Wow, all my entries are so negative lately. Sigh.... Well I hope everyone has a good day anyhow!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I'm sure by now many of you have heard of the death of the young actor Heath Ledger. He was in the Patriot and Brokeback Mountain as well as other films. He was only 28 and died yesterday of an apparent drug overdose. It is such a shame that a brilliant life is stuffed out like that. I wonder if it was suicide or an accident? It is a shame when anyone dies under these circumstances. May God Bless his soul....

Monday, January 21, 2008

I hate Mondays. I hate going back to work after having a weekend off. I hate that it is bitter cold out too. The kids are off school today. Happy Martin Luther King day everyone! Wish I had the day off too. But hey guess what?

The Giants are going to the Superbowl. WoooHoooo! I knew they could do it! Great job guys! Sorry all you Packer's fans....

Here is Sarah with Daisy, that should make you feel better!

Hard to get a good picture of the little imp she is constantly moving. We are doing ok with potty breaking, but this infernal cold makes it hard. All she does it sit at our feet asking to be picked up! She has learned to pee if she needs to outdoors but still goes indoors. She likes to sneak behind furniture to make poos. I wish we had a small area to confine her in.

We went over to my friend Dave's last night for goulash and football. We didn't stay too long because my allergies started up. They have been being real nice to us. No mention of the Christmas disaster.

Hope everyone has a good week. Oh by the way for a good read go HERE. Carlene has some good thoughts on our government. She is a bright lady.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Daisy! She is a 13 week old Jack Russell terrier mix. Or so they say! She came from a shelter in Tennesee. Her is her first portrait! After further research I believe her to be a Jackabee. A Jack Russell/Beagle mix. Below Daisy's picture is a basket of Jackabees!

Some of you may or may not remember my niece Abbigail. She lives in Louisiana with her mom. She is a smart little girl and recently won a couple awards at school for good grades! Here she is!

Isn't that a cute school uniform? Red is definately her color. Looks like she has two ribbons there!

An unprecedented event happened at our house a couple days ago. As you know, Brownie does not like other cats. She has grudgingly accepted Tiger, but still dislikes Tarzan. I was surprised to wake up from a nap one day to see all three curled up on the bed.

Brownie is still seperated from the others, but that she actually is in the same area as Tarzan is amazing! We have been having Mousecapades in our house lately. We have caught two in a row and Tarzan promptly takes off with it. Running around and playing with it like he is a Hero for saving the day! Never mind it is already dead from a mousetrap!

Sarah is doing very well with her diabetes. She is still high in the afternoons but I am hoping that will change. We don't know what is causing it. There is a variety of factors involved.

Travis will be going on a field trip soon to Bryan and Stratton college to visit the Criminal Justice program there.

We are expecting some very cold weather this weekend. I'm not looking forward to it! I need to go shopping and get some new sneakers for work and maybe a couple new tops.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

When I was a little girl and going to school, I don't remember much about learning about Martin Luther King Jr. We learned about slavery and racism. Maybe I just forgot, I'm not sure. My children have learned about what this great man has done for our country. Yes I said a Great Man. I'm sure alot of people will agree. In fact and old white man in the nursing home told me the same thing. He was a Great Man. When I look into his eyes in old photographs, I can see the truth and righteousness there. I can see God's love shining out. I like this video I found on Youtube.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Yesterday at work, one of my favorite residents passed away. She suffered from Alzheimer's disease. At the end she barely talked, coulden't walk, was getting contracted, had problems eating etc.. Her mind always seemed to be in a different place as she would smile and laugh at things unseen to me. She was very peaceful and comfortable at the end. When I went in there to say goodbye, her face had completely relaxed and she had a look of serenity on her face. She used to be a school teacher, a gym teacher exactly. She was the manly type. Big, broad and probably loud! A former student of hers said she was a great coach. In fact, she liked to be called Coach. I always wanted to be the one to feed her at mealtimes because I had little tricks I used to get her to eat. Her family was in and I was able to tell them how sorry I was and give a hug. ]

That afternoon at lunch time, one of the nurses got up and played the organ. She only knows a few songs. There is one resident in particular that loves music. She also has Alzheimer's or some form of dementia. She started clapping away. When the nurse began to play Amazing Grace, the resident broke out in a quavering song. No words but she went right along with it. The smile on her face was beautiful, she lit right up! Another dementia resident who was having a grumpy day perked right up and raised her hand up waving it along to the music. Music is an amazing tool. It can bring such emotion to people. I heard Bocelli singing yesterday on a television program. His voice resonated down the hall and made me want to weep. So beautiful. This is the song I heard. Have a wonderful day...

Song in English:

I'LL GO WITH YOU (English translation)

When I'm aloneI dream on the horizonand words fail;yes, I know there is no lightin a room where the sun is absent, if you are not with me, with me.At the windowsshow everyone my heartwhich you set alight;enclose within methe light youencountered on the street.

I'll go with you,to countries I neversaw and shared with you,now, yes, I shall experience them.I'll go with youon ships across seaswhich, I know,no, no, exist no longer;with you I shall experience them.

When you are far awayI dream on the horizonAnd words fail,and, Yes, I knowthat you are with me;you, my moon, are here with me,my sun, you are here with me,with me, with me, with me.

I'll go with you,To countries I neverSaw and shared with you,now, yes, I shall experience them.I'll go with youOn ships across seaswhich, I know,no, no, exist no longer,with you I shall experience them again. I'll go with youOn ships across seasWhich, I know,No, no, exist no longer;with you I shall experience them again.I'll go with you,I with you.

Friday, January 11, 2008

This is a typical description of what we have to do to get ready for bed now in Diabetes Land. Get out Sarah's kit. Unpack glucose meter. Insert lancet into poker. Put test strip into meter. Wipe finger with antiseptic wipe, let dry. Lance finger with poker. Get a good bead of blood and apply to meter test strip. Wait until it reads it and see blood sugar number. If over 200 figure out how much correction she needs (only 1/2 at night). If correction is needed, get out insulin pen. Wipe top. Put on needle. Dial up 1 1/2 units of insulin, tap pen to release air and eject into air. Dial up insulin needed. Get Sarah to find a spot to inject. Smaller needle so arms and legs ok for this. Wipe area and inject. Prepare shot of lantus in syringe. Wipe top of bottle with alcohol wipe. Take caps of needle and inject 6 units of air into bottle. Withdraw 10 units of insulin. Tap syringe to get air bubbles to top and re-insert needle into bottle. Push excess insulin and air back into bottle until only 6 units of Lantus remain. Decide with Sarah on good spot for injection. Tonight was the side of leg. I need to be able to pinch up a good inch of skin/fat. Wipe area with alcohol wipe and let dry. Pinch up fat and count to three, carefully insert needle, listen to yelp, count to 10 and withdraw needle. Put away supplies. At 2 am we check blood sugar again. No insulin. If too low, we give juice. We do this 3 or more times a day with the Lantus given at night. Finger sticks can be 5 times a day. Anyone want to trade spots with my 8 year old little girl? I wish I could...

This week has been very long. I haven't had much extra time to do anything. I also have been very lazy when coming home and just plumping down in front of the computer. I am ashamed to say that my Christmas tree is still up! I will take that down today. I have never kept one up this long before.

Sarah is doing ok with her diabetes. Her sugars tend to get quite high in the evenings and then go down and stay down until the next afternoon. They are going to have us increase her lunch time insulin and see if that helps. This diabetes thing is so stressful. I wish we could go back to the time when Sarah could eat whatever she wanted when she wanted. No measuring, shots or tears. It is not fair. Here is a touching video I found on line about another little girl with diabetes.

There are many, many more just like her. My daughter is only 1 of 13,000 American children diagnosed each year.

I have to go now and have her take a shower. She went to her Dad's last night and he decided to start a food fight and he dumped water from a can of corn on her head. Her hair is now a dry, sticky mess. Isn't that so very adult of him? If I did it he would probably be calling child protective. Hope everyone has a good day...

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Vacation over... Not a planned one, but one none the less. Now my time is up. Sarah is ready to start school again. I hope tomorrow goes alright. We had a little bit of a warm up today. Ice melted off the house. I need to get out there with a ladder and a caulking gun. I saw several spots on the exterior of the trailer where ice forms. Not only off the roof, but holes in the aluminum on the sides. I find myself more like my parents every day trying to save a buck. Why turn up the heat, put on a sweater! I know the value of a dollar earned. My son complains because I make him do chores. I made him an offer. I told him he can quit school and go get a job and I will sit home and play video games all day instead! I want him to get a part time job this summer at least. Maybe working at Price Chopper store as a bagger or something. He needs to learn responsibility. He will be 17 in August! A senior next year in school! Then its the real world for him. I try teaching him life skills but then he acts like a baby. The stove will burn him, germs will get on him etc... he sure is a prima donna sometimes. He better learn this stuff or find someone that wants a big baby to take care of... His butt will be going to live at Daddies!

Friday, January 4, 2008

Doesn't that make you want to just curl right up with them? This is Sarah and Tiger sleeping on the bed together last night. Notice how Tiger's paw is wrapped around her head. He really is a cuddly cat at times. Sarah had her first day back to school today after her diagnosis. She did pretty good except for having low blood sugar right before lunch. She bounced right back up however. She got a little cranky tonight after getting her Lantus shot. That is the longer acting one she gets at night. The needle is a little bigger and ouchier. I feel so terrible having to do this to her, but its life or death now. No putting it off or forgetting about it for a couple days. I am not the type to sit around and say Woe is me, why did this happen to us? It is happening to us too, not just Sarah. My whole life is revolving around the diabetes right now. Its the first thing that I begin the day with and the last thing before I go to bed. I did get a couple hours off today and I went out and placed a geocache. I'm hoping it will be approved and out by tomorrow for people to start finding. It is a nice, easy one in a local town park. There are 2 more town parks in the town of Greenfield without caches, I intend to take care of that! One park is so new that there is only a parking lot, I'm not even sure if its officially open yet. I kind of wanted to set up a multi cache in it. That is a geocache with stages. You go from stage to stage gathering clues and then you go to the final. Well, I'm tuckered out and ready for bed. Goodnite all...

Thursday, January 3, 2008

The weather was so cold today. Bitter cold. I had to drive to Albany with Sarah, her Dad AND Grandmother. A regular 3 ring circus. All for nothing really. Just to make sure we were ok with everything. The trip down and back was sheer misery. They both have rancid breath. Lots of talking and deep sighs and yawns too. I wanted to puke! I unfortutely have too much tact to say anything. I suffered in silence. I ate Tic-tacs however hoping it would help. I need to shove Vicks up my nose next time to block the stink. Other than that it went fine. Sarah is doing well, and gaining weight. She starts school again tomorrow! We have one more cold day on tap for tomorrow and then it should start to warm up. I hope so, I hate the cold... Linda