Howdy there, Scream Freaks, and Happy belated Fourth! Hope ya had a relaxin’ holiday of explosions and that all your greasy digits are still intact. We certainly had our fair share of celebratin’ ’round our parts but don’t think that slowed down our efforts to get the next episode of Screaming Soup! out to ya. No siree, Bob, that sucker’s in its final stages of completion and should be beamin’ to ya anytime this upcomin’ week, so keep your peepers open for it!

Ya know, as much fun as we had July 4th, we can’t help but be annoyed by our lack of options for holiday themed flicks this time of year. We normally fall back on Independence Day classics like Jaws and the I Know What You Done Did That Summer trilogy, but after followin’ this tradition for so many years, we’re just a little burnt out on those. Still love ’em, but we just wanna shake things up with some different flicks, you know? This pursuit of happiness, however, can be a rabbit hole of confusion and disappointment.

Like anyone else who hits a wall, we go to the web for suggestions. Google “July 4th horror,” and you get a whole slew of folks’ lists for holiday themed horrors familiar and new. We were reminded of some good ones from The Bay to Independence Day, but had to spit fire when we were directed back to flops like Uncle Sam. We’d rather gargle fire ants than watch that buzzkill again. And there’s the newer flicks we didn’t even know existed like The Evil In Us and You Are Not Alone, which we checked out You Are Not Alone and damned that pissin’ time contender in our latest R-Rated Reviews.

The suggestions that really blow our minds, however, are the movies that barely have anythin’ to do with the Fourth. Take The Shining (1980) for example. Horror fans keep bringin’ this flick up ’cause there’s that one ballroom photo taken from July 4th, 1921. Damn, is that all it takes to make these lists? If we made a movie with a passin’ mention of Halloween, Christmas, and Thanksgivin’ and feature a photo taken on Daylight Savin’s Time, Arbor Day, and National Fried Chicken Day, does that automatically get us on every list for those holiday themed horror picks? That’s almost as bad as these holiday themed horrors that ixnay all the festive décor (Christmas, Bloodbeat), breeze past the celebrations, and, Craven forbid, take the story beyond the designated calendar date (Cinco De Mayo, Pinata Survival Island).

And we can’t overlook the lists pluggin’ flicks like Final Destination 3 and Piranha 3D as Fourth of July themed horrors. They make for fun summer horrors with theme parks and beaches, but Final Destination 3‘s final act is a celebration of the town’s establishment, not America’s independence, and Piranha 3D takes place durin’ spring break.

Putrid polecats!

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’.

For all you fearmakers out there workin’ on your next scary feature, remember to shoot it our way as an entry in our Scream Freak Film Contest! Three winners will be reviewed in our 50th episode and promoted to all the Scream Freaks lookin’ for the next big thing Hollywood’s too scared to capitalize on. Deadline’s 8/20/18, so hurry!