A night at the round table

When you walk in: Through a closed-off walkway separating you from the main room, you will experience a moment of suspense. You begin to start having doubts. “Will I feel like a stranger?” You might ask yourself. “Will everyone turn and look at me?” The answer, quite frankly, is yes. Like your first day at a new school, there is a transition period upon walking into King Arthur’s pub.

I believe it may be one of the best dive bars in Beaumont. So savor the anticipation. It’ll make the payoff that much better.

Restrooms are: Almost straight in front of you once you walk in the main room, and colored for gender: pink for girls, green for boys.

The layout: Looks like a house on the outside and feels smaller than its outward appearance

Dave Ryan/cat5

once you’re inside. On the left wall, you’ll find a mirrored side room if you want to be secluded from the rest of the bar. The main room is to your right, with pool tables and the horseshoe-shaped bar. I’d choose a main room table if the weather is bad, that way you can observe the crowd with some distance while maintaining access to the bartender. If the weather is nice, I highly recommend you check out the patio through a door in the back right corner, though it has limited seating so be prepared to sit with strangers.

The crowd: Peaks early, well before 11 p.m. if you want to meet the regulars. And trust me, you want to meet the regulars. You’re going to have to step outside your comfort zone and make sure you engage the bartender and the crowd in conversation once you’re there.

The ambiance: Changes over the evening, as does what’s coming from the jukebox. You’ll often hear a regular — or the bartenders — complain about the jukebox but bring a few spare dollars and play some peppy tunes to endear you to the locals. Otherwise you might be in for a night of sad, old country songs.

Dave Ryan/cat5

The pitch: Dive bar with lots of local color and a hefty daybar populous. This bar seems wary of newcomers but ultimately glad you’re there, and your experience at King Arthur’s Pub will get better the longer you stay. Once they know you, you’re in for keeps. Or until you piss them off.

Don’t miss: The patio, which is backed up against some beautiful greenery. On a summer evening you’ll feel like you’re camping, except you never have to get up to grab a new beer. Even though there are only two picnic tables, you can stand while drinking or ask to share a table with strangers. Just make sure you return the favor if you get to a table first.

If you plan to drink: They don’t do drink specials but you can count on your average selection available at dive bar prices. Grab a beer or your favorite mixed drink. Pay cash.

Verdict: If you want a bartender who says, “shut up” and “sweetie” in the same sentence, this is your place. Expect speedy service, cheap drinks and a lot of attitude. This bar is Beaumont without trying to be anything else. No pretense and no patronizing. I can’t wait to go back.