The Black Sheep

BU vs MIT vs Harvard Frat Parties: Ranked

Frat parties are an essential part of the college experience, but with the sheer quantity of schools in Boston, it can be hard to decide which one to go to and which frats are the best. Between BU, Harvard, and MIT, the options are endless as long as you have an answer to the ultimate question: “Who do you know here?” Lucky for you, The Black Sheep has come up with a rating system for the different college’s frats. We hope this helps to ease your decision this upcoming Friday night.

Stickiness:

3.) Harvard:
Harvard? Messy?? These are two words that should not go together. They are an Ivy League after all – there are plenty of crimson expectations to meet, and it’s much easier to keep things tidy with exorbitant grade inflation. They have to keep up their pristine reputation.

2.) BU:
BU frats are a close runner up with Allston being their rightful home. They don’t call it rat city for nothing. Allston definitely has a reputation of being dirty and grungy, but there are a few redeeming factors. We have yet to discover them, but we’re sure they’re there.

1.) MIT:
Frats are known for being messy, but these frats take the cake. Never set foot in an MIT frat without your most loyal pair of frat shoes. The brothers are too busy solving molecular functions and building highly technical computing systems any way; who can really blame them for having the messiest house? No one’s good at everything, and though MIT students are some of the smartest in the world, they do need a little help in the cleaning department.

Proximity:

3.) Harvard:
Getting across the river is both costly and super inconvenient. It’s such a hassle: ordering an Uber, finding friends to split it, all without even knowing if you will get in or not. But what do you expect? It’s Hah-vahd.

2.) MIT:
For students in East campus or on Bay State, these are actually the closest frats. Thank God for the not-so-brilliant MIT students who forced themselves to make the awful 20 minute walk across the river every day to get to classes just to live in a dirty frat house. You’ve made the lives of BU students much better with more options and with the fact that you actually let in boys!

1.) BU:
This one’s obvious. For a majority of the students, these are the closest frats. You’re not a freshman at BU until you’ve had at least one night of the Allston crawl. West campus is practically in Allston, and the frats are only a 5 minute walk away.

Theft Vulnerability:

3.) Harvard:
Without a doubt, the rich Harvard frat brothers prove that there are some expensive, incredible things to steal from these frats. However, these well-educated boys are also trickier and more clever. They’re always on the lookout for people stealing their overpriced law textbooks or their random medieval artifact sitting on the shelf. It’s a longshot that you’ll get out with anything, but if you do, you know it’s valuable.

2.) BU:
This could go one of two ways: either the BU frat brothers are too drunk to actually be able to stop you from stealing anything, or they are too drunk so they try to fight you for thinking you might be stealing something. It’s a risky, tricky situation, but if you want to take one for the team, there is still a chance you could get away pretty easily.

1.) MIT:
Steal, steal, steal… These guys aren’t even paying attention. You could walk out with the tree growing in the middle of Phi Delt’s house if you really wanted to. Whether it’s a blanket, a lightbulb, or even a tree that looks like it belongs in a park, you can pretty much get away with anything at MIT. Take advantage!

Booze:

3.) BU:
Jungle juice, jungle juice, and more jungle juice. You can’t expect anything else when hitting up a BU frat. BU students (yes, even frat brothers) are broke, so we take what we can get. This includes a mixed drink with every type of alcohol/drinkable substance that the brothers can find. It may taste gross, and you may end up puking in a frat closet or two, but at least you were drunk and (probably) having a good time.

2.) MIT:
MIT keeps it pretty typical with vodka Sprite or rum and Coke. Every once in awhile they’ll mix things up with a really shitty margarita or some boxed wine, but mostly they just stick to what they know best. Overall, not too shabby.

1.) Harvard:
Nothing beats the champagne popping, wine drinking, Harvard frat brothers. Their parties have everything from vodka shots to bottles of beer to a nice glass of champagne. There is always a lot of variety, and the bartenders really know how to mix drinks. You know you’re getting a good deal, because these bros are desperate to impress.

Litness (No, not Litmus):

3.) MIT:
Alright, it’s a tie. Some of the MIT frats can be consistently boring with bad music and the fact that they always get shut down, but once you can find your MIT frat that will let you in and has lit music and dancing, they can be pretty fun. The drinks are usually flowing and the houses are really big. There is a lot of space and different rooms to explore.

2.) BU:
Your home campus is pretty hit or miss. You really need to know the right frats to go to and everyone who is hosting. Once you break into that inner circle though, you will be golden.

1.) Harvard:
What can be said? They know how to throw parties that have good music, great alcohol, and are overall usually really lit. Making the trek over to Harvard can be a hassle, but once you are there, there is no doubt that you will have a good time.

We’d tally up the points but what do we look like, Harvard frat bois? Please. If you think we missed something or if you’re one of these fellow frat boys and feel your panties bunching up for not getting a fair shake, please, tell us how you feel at @BlackSheep_BU and we promise not to make fun of you.