Ulster Rugby’s Kitchen Sink has decided to call it a day after 50years at the Club, Kitchen Sink states that he has had a wonderful career at the club since he first arrived and was mearly a pot to pi$h in. He now feels it is time to retire . He has seen many Presidents and CEOs come and go , but feels nows the time for the Kitchen Sink to also leave.

“I am proud to say that i arrived as a pi$h pot , but I am now proud to be a Belfast Sink" but the time is right with so many other grates leaving.

"Since the moment he arrived as a pot to pi$h in , he has risen through the club to be thee Kitchen Sink, he has been , an seen some sights, even had Justin Fitzpatrick wash his ball in the Sink after the semi final win in 99.he has fond memories of Stuarty Duncan throwing up in him after a court session , and being shît in by Justin Harrison.

"This Sink has been an outstanding servant to Ulster Rugby and will be missed by staff, players and and Ethel, He has been an absolute porcelain pleasure to work alongside and we wish him,plug and his scrubber all the best on their new location at Creagh Road Methodist Church hall.

Bryn Cunningham would also like to confirm that Ethel has signed for another three years , this is solid news for players and staff who thought she may have left with the kitchen sink.

CEO, was not available for comment.

“For the liespotter who knows how to listen well, the random words, sounds, and phrases in a person's speech are never as random as they seem. They offer a clear sightline into the liar's psyche.”

Ulster Rugby’s Kitchen Sink has decided to call it a day after 50years at the Club, Kitchen Sink states that he has had a wonderful career at the club since he first arrived and was mearly a pot to pi$h in. He now feels it is time to retire . He has seen many Presidents and CEOs come and go , but feels nows the time for the Kitchen Sink to also leave.

“I am proud to say that i arrived as a pi$h pot , but I am now proud to be a Belfast Sink" but the time is right with so many other grates leaving.

"Since the moment he arrived as a pot to pi$h in , he has risen through the club to be thee Kitchen Sink, he has been , an seen some sights, even had Justin Fitzpatrick wash his ball in the Sink after the semi final win in 99.he has fond memories of Stuarty Duncan throwing up in him after a court session , and being shît in by Justin Harrison.

"This Sink has been an outstanding servant to Ulster Rugby and will be missed by staff, players and and Ethel, He has been an absolute porcelain pleasure to work alongside and we wish him,plug and his scrubber all the best on their new location at Creagh Road Methodist Church hall.

Bryn Cunningham would also like to confirm that Ethel has signed for another three years , this is solid news for players and staff who thought she may have left with the kitchen sink.

Thought I had some good news.Read that Brive centre and French international centre Benoit Baby had signed for Ulster along with the lesser profile addition of Loughborough student Andrew Bywater.

In a statement from Shane Logan he stated "We can confirm we had interest in both players and both were on the verge of signing. However certain aspects we can't disclose came to light, not that I'm one to start a rumour or stir stuff or anything but the upshot was neither deal was feasible. Due to our family values we feel we had no option but to throw Baby out with Bywater."

Hearing rumours our retiring Belfast Kitchen sink will be replaced by some Eurotrash sink called Franke. This is yet another dilution of the Ulster Brand and an example of the consumerism which has blighted our Club.Yet another attempt to scrub away our history and soft soap the loyal supporters. We must resist this and I personally will be campaigning with Vim and vigour as I scour the province for support. I’ll be Dishing out leaflets informing supporters of our disgust. This won’t just be just a Flash in the pan. We won’t be easily flushed away.

UR announced yet another retiree yesrday with Robbie Diack's contact pillow stepping down with immediate effect. Kobus Kushion said," I first started working with Robbie after he left school nearly 20 years ago when he discovered me in his nans attic.The grounds in South Africa were very hard and unforgiving so to give hm confidence I would allow him to throw me out before landing on me to absorb the impact".

It was on arriving at Ulster that Kobus became an integral part of Robbies play, " The pitches were not as hard so I became more involved with Robbies player contact situations where he would carry me into a tackle so it wouldn't hurt him quite as much.We took his game to new levels as we realised if he didn't get hurt he would always be available. I am however very sad to part ways with Robbie but I have been offered other work as Jared Paynes splinter preventer so you'll still see me about the place if you look hard enough."

Bryn Cunningham Ulsters something or other, said in a statement, "This is indeed sad news for Ulster Rugby as Kobus has been such a loyal servant over the years. As well as keeping Robbie safe, Kobus has also doubled up as Rodney Ah You's training partner so his work behind the scenes has been immeasurable. However on a good news front Paul Marshall's rugby intelligence announced it was coming out of retirement since it first hung up its boots in 2006 and will now looking at taking on a senior management position within the club."