Tomb Raider

Written by Murph on June 28th 2001

An pretty good video game movie!! Was it possible? It has more action, excitement, danger, and boobies than any Indiana Jones movie! Well, actually none of those except for the last one... but that's ok! Boobies!

I really had no desire to see this movie when it came out, but because of lack of other movies to see I decided to fork over the 8.50 and conquer the boredom for 2 hours.

The movie starts off with Lara fighting a giant robot in a tomb thingy. (go figure) After a really cool fight scene, (probably the best one in the movie) we find out that it's just a "training" robot made by some ugly dude. Later, we find out that an anchient "cult" of types is looking for a clock thingy so they can find 2 pieces of a triangle thingy, there for completing thier collection of weird thingys and taking over teh warld! ...actually it never says what they will do with the power, but that the power can be used to go back and forth through time like nothing. So, it can be bad or good.

The movie does have some cool fight scenes, most of the better ones against just guys with guns. The movie kindof went downhill when a bunch of stone guys came to life and started fighting. Don't get me wrong, it was kinda cool, but it just didn't fit the movie and seemed dumb.

The effects, of course, are very well done. One of my favorite is when a doggie jumps through some time thingy and you see it's skin go away and then the muscles and then the bones, then it comes back together on the other side! I could play with one of those for hours! Hand is gone, hand is back! Hand is gone, hand is back! Hehehehehehe!!!

All in all the movie was pretty good, there was some little girl that kept showing up saying things but I had no idea what that was about. But fans of the video game will be impressed with Lara's estate, it had just about everything. The only big difference was that the butler was some young guy! And he never farted even once! If you remember the game there was a really old guy that would always follow you around with tea and fart every 2 minutes. Of course it was always fun to go into the meat locker, wait for the butler to follow you in, then quickly run out and lock him in. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, STUPID FROZEN OLD FARTING GUY BUTLER!@!!!21

Anyway, here is the answer you've all been waiting for; THERE ARE NO NUDIE SCENES! I'm sorry you had to hear it, but I'm sure that if they let you know that in the trailer the movie would have lost 18 million.