SpermCheck, a male fertility test, will soon be in Walgreen’s and CVS. Of course, it will be terribly awkward when guys mistake the free blood pressure check machine for the SpermCheck. (The Real Story)

Gary Busey has filed for bankruptcy with less than $50,000 in assets. And every movie studio in town has turned down his idea to make a sequel to “The Buddy Holly Story” where he comes back as a zombie. (The Real Story)

The Model Alliance has been formed to make sure models aren’t mistreated. Most evil masterminds would much rather be taken down by the Model Alliance than the Justice League. (The Real Story)

Chicago must decide what to do about a vehicle sticker design containing gang symbols tied to the Maniac Latin Disciples. It also doesn’t help that the slogan on car tags says, “This is My Ride Bitches!” (The Real Story)

Homeland Security will roll out a different airport pat-down policy for kids under 12. They won’t have to take their shoes off anymore. And the latex gloves they wear will have pictures of Dora the Explorer on them!

It’s unclear if Susan Lucci will be a part of an attempt to move “All My Children” online. Since webisodes would be just 10 minutes long, it’s estimated Erika Kane would have close to 59 husbands per month.

Legislation in San Francisco to keep birds from killing themselves on high-rise windows passed a committee. Some suggest taking it in phases and first passing a law against laughing at birds that fly into windows.

A CA woman says her dog was prescribed to her by her doctor for emotional support, but was lost at Six Flags when workers rescued it from her hot car. Her emotional support must now come from Bugs Bunny and The Justice League.