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Well, you can flush that theory down the toilet — if only the doors to these $250,000 public biffies weren’t locked.

And that’s the way a pair of high-tech, taxpayer-funded washrooms in the East Village will stay for the foreseeable future, other than for special occasions.

Blame “inappropriate behaviour.”

Despite promises that Calgary’s uber-expensive robotic toilets had the technology to keep any unsavoury bathroom shenanigans at bay (hence the Ferrari-like price for the heated, self-cleaning, self-policing johns), it appears they don’t deter.

“There were behaviours there that were not conducive to our vision for those public toilets — they’re not a bedroom, not a cot and not a shelter, they’re bathrooms,” said Susan Veres, spokeswoman for the Calgary Municipal Land Corp. (CMLC).

“We’ve restricted use so that they’re available for events only.”

Besides their obvious attraction as a warm place to hang around and catch a nap, police say the East Village toilets, open 24/7, were also a haven for drug users who loiter along the south bank of the Bow River.

In addition to locking the toilets, East Village officials have removed 10 lounge benches intended to make the RiverWalk project a popular destination for urbanites looking to relax by the water.

Instead, they attracted a different sort of urbanite, looking to sleep.

Veres said the CMLC felt RiverWalk’s popularity with the vagrancy crowd wasn’t “in keeping with the image that we’re portraying”.

“This is not how we planned the vision of RiverWalk,” she said.

Clearly, it’s no secret the city really wants the whole East Village to be a sort of hipster paradise, full of condos, bicycles and affluent folks reading Penguin paperbacks. Someday it might be.

Two major mixed-use residential projects are underway, and others are in the blueprint phase, including the new Calgary Public Library main branch, the Hilton Garden Inn and the National Music Centre.

But right now the village is pretty empty.

With two homeless shelters a short walk away and a downtown full of substance abusers finding fewer and fewer places to go, no one can be too surprised that some fancy chairs and even fancier toilets would get plenty of unintended use.

Veres says officials at CMLC were slightly taken aback by the toilet tomfoolery, but not astounded.

She said the proximity of the Drop-In Centre will always be a challenge, with residents of the shelter needing a place to be in the day.

“We’re always going to have issues related to homelessness in the village, they are our neighbour to the west and we’re not naive,” said Veres.

What is a little shocking is just why Calgary was fooled into thinking these robotic biffies were worth the exorbitant price, as compared to say, cheaper toilets and an East Village security patrol. Or just regular toilets, with locks.

Installed at a cost of $125,000 each, the unisex robotic restrooms were made by the same New Zealand firm that supplied a matching majestic potty in the Beltline’s Tomkins Park.

Each heated room locks down and self-cleans with a spray of anti-bacterial fluid after 75 uses, and allows for a maximum of 10 minutes of privacy before the door automatically swings open.

That ticking clock was touted as the solution to the loo becoming a shelter for drug users, but judging by paraphernalia found by police, ten minutes is plenty of time to fill your lungs and veins.

And with so few people in the East Village, there’s little chance of a self-cleaning shower to disturb someone taking a nap.

Back in 2010, when the twin toilets were proposed, Coun. Jim Stevenson was among the aldermen who criticized the pair as overpriced, and premature in a neighbourhood where very few people live.

“It’s just common sense and sometimes we do things that when you run it through the common sense meter, it doesn’t come out looking too well,” said Stevenson, when told of the decision to keep the restrooms locked at most times.

'Inappropriate behaviour' forces closure of public self cleaning toilets in East Village

Well, you can flush that theory down the toilet — if only the doors to these $250,000 public biffies weren’t locked.

And that’s the way a pair of high-tech, taxpayer-funded washrooms in the East Village will stay for the foreseeable future, other than for special occasions.

Blame “inappropriate behaviour.”

Despite promises that Calgary’s uber-expensive robotic toilets had the technology to keep any unsavoury bathroom shenanigans at bay (hence the Ferrari-like price for the heated, self-cleaning, self-policing johns), it appears they don’t deter.

“There were behaviours there that were not conducive to our vision for those public toilets — they’re not a bedroom, not a cot and not a shelter, they’re bathrooms,” said Susan Veres, spokeswoman for the Calgary Municipal Land Corp. (CMLC).