I remember being at the radio station doing my morning show when my cohost asked me about my divorce. On air. I wanted to kill him because he knew that it was a touchy subject for me and I was still holding onto the embarrassment, the failure that comes with it. I answered his questions apprehensively while my armpits began to sweat profusely!

That feels like forever ago because I can now discuss it freely without the shame I once had. When I decided to do the show, “Connected,” I had to put it all out there, without holding back, and I certainly did that. When I appear in my first episode, the description of me reads: Rosie Noesi, TV and radio personality, 33, divorced BAM and living with boyfriend BAM!!

Most girls grow up dreaming of their perfect wedding day. Planning every little detail from the dream dress right down to the perfect nail polish color. I even practiced and acted out this perfect dream day using pillowcases as veils and playing house with my neighbors and family members.

The morning that I said, “I do,” I really didn’t have the glitz and glamor people usually experience on their wedding day. No champagne with the bridesmaids, no relaxing and being pampered. Me, being the people pleaser that I am, frantically drove 40 minutes to my hairstylist because she said that I was too out of her way to come to me. She gave me the “Snookie” poof in the front, secured my wedding veil and I was off to my next stop: Blimpie’s to pick up my bridesmaids’ sandwiches.

I went in there with my hair done and veil on and the guy at the counter said, “hey are you getting married today?” I responded, “yes I am!” At that moment he looked at me completely puzzled and said, “don’t you have someone who could have picked these up for you, considering it’s your wedding day?”

I took a second as I let his comment sink in and I responded with the only answer I could muster up. “Who else is going to do it?”

When I got home, I entered the front door and saw myself reflected in the dining room mirror. I screamed at the top of my lungs. My hair looked like a “Jersey Shore” nightmare come true! This completely startled my 12-year-old sister, who looked at me with pure fear in her eyes.

I started tearing apart the poof that I just dished out $260 for and drove 80 minutes round trip to get. A half hour later, I finally felt a calm come over me as I salvaged my debacle of a hairdo. Then much to my surprise, I broke out in uncontrollable tears.

After I wiped the first batch off my face with a tissue, more tears followed. My sister screamed for my mother. Once she got to the bedroom, she took one look at me and burst into tears herself, running from the room.

“Why are you crying?” I am continually asked.

“I don’t know, I don’t know.”

My bridesmaid Amber asked me if I wanted to get married.

“Yes, of course I do. We’ve been together forever.”

My father wanted to know what I needed, and I told him a tequila shot. My parents unanimously said, “No! You can’t go drunk to church.”

My mom finally handed me a glass of water and told me to drink it. I did, and 20 minutes later, I felt a bit calmer. I washed my face and continued on with my day. My makeup artist came over and made me look like the perfect little bride.

I said my vows unknowingly drugged. I found out two weeks later that my mother had slipped me a sedative.

What I didn’t realize at the time is that my inner self was speaking to me. Even though my conscious self didn’t know it wasn’t the best idea to tie the knot, my soul was crying out for help.

Emotions are tiny indicators of what’s going on inside. Most of the time we are so busy making plans and trying to fulfill goals that we miss the little whispers our intuition is trying to give us. When you’re going through a tough situation and feel obligated to continue, you ignore your intuition only to find out later those whispers were right. You say to yourself, “I knew it… I just knew it.”

The answer is, you did know it. You just weren’t aware that you knew it.

We have to learn techniques to tune in and make sense of the messages coming into our lives. When something doesn’t feel 100 percent correct, stop and go into the silence. Meditate. And if you don’t know how, LEARN!

It took me six whole months to meditate for five minutes. I took the hard route and learned to do it myself. Now there are so many ways to start.

Sometimes we are so used to not trusting ourselves that we can’t even hear our soul crying. We end up making choices out of fear. Instead of me questioning the feelings that had arose the day of my wedding day, I just got a Band-Aid (in the form of narcotics) and never dealt with my emotions. When you drink, smoke or take a pill you are ignoring the problem — it doesn’t go away. You just become a problem hoarder.

You’re walking around with a load of problems on your mind that can explode in the most unexpected ways in your life. You miss opportunities because you’re not in the moment. You can’t fully be immersed in the here and now — you aren’t fully living.

Today my choice is to practice happiness. And I’m going to get so freaking good at it, when those emotions come up and throw me off, I’ll use that opportunity to listen really good and hard, then get quiet to make the decision that will continue to keep me in that happy state of mind.

There is no reason to live frozen in life. You have to start to face those scary emotions head on, because if you don’t you will end up trying to survive instead of thrive.

In a world where an opinion can be shared in an instant. Social media has given everyone a voice. Hashtags have brought millions of us together and have tore many others apart. It makes this huge world seem like a community where everyone can speak on any subject, television show, and or event. Facebook is soon giving us a new luxury in the comment/like section. We will now be allowed to emoji a person’s photo with these (Love, Haha, Wow, Yay, Angry and Sad) instead of have just a like button. Whether it’s parents over-posting their children’s first day of school or people posting their latest doggie pic well now with just one click we now have the new found freedom to take a huge dump on the moment they chose to share with us. I understand where this need to create an option like this derived from, and it’s because everyone who has access to a phone or the internet has gotten into heated arguments online. Everyone from a elementary school level to my grandmother is Yelping ,tweeting, snapping and IGing at people they know and also to complete strangers. Facebook has caught on. As a person who is out there in the media I have caught my own dosage of the “Mean Tweets”. I want to also brag to you that I didn’t even respond… But that would be a big fat Lie.

When I was a kid and made a rude comment to another child at school I was faced with the instant consequences of that mean statement. Either the the receiver of the mean comment would end up getting very upset and I immediately felt terrible about it and as a result, I learned right away the consequences of my actions. Or … The kid got very mad and you and him/her got into a fight usually involving parents, teachers, or even friends. So the moral of the story is that in the past you had the cause and immediate effect of your verbal communication with another. That’s my generation, I quickly learned that if you don’t have anything nice to say that is uplifting don’t say anything at all. Now with that said, if you see my respond tweets that I wrote after appearing live on HLN’s “The Daily Share” I just couldn’t hold it in and my old school mentality kicked in “I need to confront this person now”!, I thought. After I did they backed down quickly and even became friendly. This taught me a lesson. Wow, these people at home don’t know me. It’s not personal and they are probably bored. Also, I shouldn’t have answered back but the reason I felt I NEEDED to respond was because of one tiny monster, my ego! My ego was screaming how dare they go there…. I need to nicely let them know they can’t mess with me. But frankly I didn’t. It wasn’t necessary. About a year ago my morning radio show got into a war with another morning NYC radio show where they thought we stole a bit from them and their fans went after us with nasty tweets and Facebook posts of horrific nature and messages. I was called a “Cum Bucket”… (Didn’t even know that was a word combination that could be used in real life) A half -breed, I was sent pictures of dead babies with attached messages saying “these are you future children”. Gaping butt-holes of women and men. The Harrasment went on for months! It was my first taste of fame and it was awful! So the takeaway is this stop being an asshole online because you’re bored.The mean tweets and messages you are putting out there is nasty negative energy and it’s going to come back to you with a vengeance. Just because you didn’t get a rise out of the person you tweet or IG doesn’t mean that you aren’t inviting that kind of behavior into your own life ten-fold.If you spent that energy improving yourself instead of tearing others down the world would be a much better and happier place.

WHAT: Shoe modeling is an amazing way to make extra cash while breaking into the entertainment platform. As a size 6 shoe I never thought that my feet were ever going to make me any money but they do! You see, shoe companies need small feet to showcase their new season’s shoe lines for the buyers that come in to buy the newest stock for their stores.

WHY:The benefits of becoming a shoe model are many. First off, they feed you breakfast and lunch and snacks along the day. The second most convenient part about shoe modeling is that its only 4 weeks a year so its not all year round giving you plenty of time to take on other projects. Third why its so great because they also let you keep some of the shoe samples that don’t make it into the season’s collection. Free food and shoes!!! SCORE

HOW: The pay is truly amazing. They pay $450 a day from 9-5. If you are needed before 9am or after 5pm you get $75 overtime per hour and sometimes I end up taking home $550 a day. I usually work a 4 day work week and the take home pay is $1,500 to $1,800 a week.They also reimburse your mani/pedi which is a great perk!

TIPS:Well I lucked out because my friend who couldn’t commit to a shoe show and luckily knew that I was a size 6 shoe passed my information onto her shoe modeling agency. Yes, there are shoe modeling agencies, and not even a week later I was sent out on “go sees” (basically auditions for my feet) and the shoe companies checked out if your particular brand fits your feet and ankles correctly.They had you walk with the shoes on and if you fit the description they are asking for and you don’t fall on your face while walking in the shoes, your golden!

TIPS: My advice for someone wanting to get into this field is know your brand. They usually have a specific look they want for example, olive skin and long haired girl, all American look, or Urban look. I myself wouldn’t try to go for a gig which doesn’t correlate with my look. Also if your foot is jacked up… shoe modeling is not for you. Its a fun job with many perks so if you are able to break into the industry just enjoy the ride.

INVESTMENT: No investment except for the initial manicure pedicure you need for your “Go see” but don’t forget to bring your smile when meeting the shoe companies.