I have recently survived HELLP, and I am forturnate that I have my second baby, Emilie, born at 33 weeks.

My first child Cassidie was born at 37 weeks after being on Bed rest for one week in the hospital with Pre E. I also endured gestational diabetes. After that whole ordeal, I was afraid to have a second child, like many in this forum.

I found out I was pregnant again April of 2003, I was shocked, and happy, and scared all at the same time, shocked, because Cassidie was a fertility baby (just drugs) Happy, because Cassidie was getting a sibling, and scared because of what I went thru with the Pre E......(which was nothing compared to my next pregnancy)

Actually I was very careful with Emilie's pregnancy with diet and everything. So well that I did NOT contract the gestational Diabetes again. My BP was fine, and everything.

Everything came to a head on a Sunday. I was actually at the Dr's on Friday, another great check up.....Then on Sunday everything went wrong. I had pain under my right breast so bad, that, that is what triggered me to call the Dr. My DH was actually yelling at me to call him to see if I could get anything for the pain. When I got a hold of my Dr, and described the pain, I was instructed to get to the hospital ASAP.

From the time I hung up the phone with the Dr, until my C-Section it was 3 hours. I am not complaining about the time frame, it all seemed so fast. After the C-Sec, I thought every thing was going fine. Then I really do not know what happed until Tuesday.

I lost my vision for about three days, and It is still not 100%, but good enough, I just would not trust driving in the fog.

They found out that I have the Factor V (5) Gene, it is a blood clotting gene. I still have to go to the hemotologist this week, they found something else, but since the tests were run two days after I delivered, they ran the tests again to make sure that the problem is still there before they actually tell me what it is. This was my decision not to know, I just did not want to have to live in the what if for about 6 weeks. I will find out on Thursday (02/16/04).

I don't really know what I am going thru, I do not know how to describe it. ON one hand, I feel like I have cheated death, and on the other I am confused wondering what it all means. And what can come of this.

I know I won't have any other children, I had my Tubes tied, I felt that the next time could kill me for sure.

I guess, I am actually shocked that there are other Ladies out there that went through this. It is nice to have a place to write my story. My friends, have no Idea....Yeah they know I have problems, but to what extreme, no. It is not like I have not tried to tell them. But when I explain that my mom brought two black dresses from Florida, I seem to loose them.