Here's another excerpt from Root for the Villain: Rap, Bullsh*t, and a Celebration of Failure, my forthcoming collection of rants, memoirs, and think pieces.

We all f*cked up as teenagers. Bad tattoos, piercings, Zima hangovers (don't be bourgeois and front like you didn't drink that 7UP-looking sh*t liquor), etc. I avoided the aforementioned pitfalls, but rap music drove my adolescent express train to debauchery. Getting beaten to a pulp by a 6'1" monster of a girl (a few times a week over the course of two years), jumped for a $14 faux gold chain, and a completely dysfunctional introduction to the ins and outs of sex all played a part in a good amount of embarrassment, school detention, and all out recklessness. I'm still f*cked up today, and it's all rap music's fault. Click the link below to read (and see my vicious hi-top fade haircut).

If you missed the first excerpt from my book (a dissertation on the "Gadget Ho"), click here. All of this incessant texting / "LOL" ing and emoticon-ing has sent pay phone pimpin the way of the pterodactyl and it makes me very upset.

More memoirs, social commentary, and curmudgeonly rants from the book coming soon. Pre-orders for the book (on Amazon, Create Space, or directly from me with the limited cassette-only audiobook) will start up in about two weeks.