Wednesday, February 27, 2013

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night. That confused me because last night was February 26.

The second week of March is observed as Crochet Week. I wouldn't miss it. So I guess you can say I'm hooked.

March 15 is the Ides of March. All I can say is I'd march if I had a high school band uniform.

March 15 is the Ides of March. I'd march into madness if I wasn't already there.

March 15 is the Ides of March. I'd march if I really had to do so. But, I'd rather waltz.

March 16 is National Freedom of Information Day. President Obama is going to celebrate by hosting a state dinner. The place mats are going to be replicas of his birth certificate.

On March 17, 1845, the rubber band made its debut appearance. People said it produced a catchy tune that was great for dancing.

On March 21, 1963, Alcatraz prison was closed. But, the U.S. still has a famous place to house criminals. It's called the Congressional House of Representatives.

I'm celebrating my birthday March 25. All I can say is middle age is when you think you still look good in a mini-skirt because your eyes don't work well enough to see that you don't.

Middle age is when your hour-glass figure starts resembling a Mason jar.

Middle age is when you trade in beauty sleep for mediocre looking sleep.

Last year, I went on a cruise for my birthday. The first night onboard the ship, the captain issued gale warnings. He said Gale was evil if she wasn't first in the buffet line.

SEE ME LIVEWEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 27 – 8 PM (Theater)
"The Angel Academy" – written and directed by Chris BerubeNext Stage Theater1523 N La BreaHollywood, CA** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo** Agents get in free by showing industry card

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 6 – 8 PM (Theater)
"The Angel Academy" – written and directed by Chris BerubeNext Stage Theater1523 N La BreaHollywood, CA** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo** Agents get in free by showing industry card

SATURDAY, MARCH 16 – 12:45 PM (Standup)
Private Show – Million LaughsVeterans Hospital Nursing UnitLong Beach, CA** If you would like to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event, contact Will and Yvonne Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

SUNDAY, MARCH 17 – 7 PM (Standup)
Private Show – Million LaughsWhittier First DayWhittier, CA** If you would like to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event, contact Will and Yvonne Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

About Me

I am an award-winning professional journalist and comedy writer. I've written for newspapers, magazines, radio, television, headlining comedians and politicians. I also do standup, inspirational speaking and acting. I'm a Texas native with a drawl that drips slower than molasses. This blog is updated each week, so please come back for a visit.