Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Medicare and an encounter with an ancient at Walgreen's...

This morning a bitch went to Walgreen’s to pick up some Sudafed. My sinuses are out of control!

Anyhoo, my ass had to go to the pharmacy because Sudafed is now regulated due to Missouri’s love affair with meth.

At the pharmacy window this bitch got into line behind a 375-year-old woman. She was 3 feet tall, had a rain scarf on and was holding a massive handbag.

375-year-old woman to beleaguered pharmacy tech…”I need someone to explain this new Medicare program to me!”

Pharmacy tech…”M’am, why don’t you take a moment to read this booklet. Then, if you still have questions, you can call this phone number. Or you can go online or you can do both. If you still have questions after that, they will refer you to a town hall meeting. And if you are unable to make up your mind by the need of enrollment Medicare will enroll you in a plan without you consent.”

375-year-old woman after a long pause…”I hate you people. I really hate you! There’s a special place in HELL for all of you!”

Not only do I have to pay for Sudafed at the pharmacy, but I have to show them an ID, sign my name in about three places, provide my social security number and mother's maiden name, leave urine and blood samples, and allow them to collar me with a GPS unit.

I've worked in the healthcare industry for many, many years and consider myself of above-average intelligence. Hell, even I can't figure out the new prescription plans! The poor old folks don't stand a chance.

Too funny! Note to Fed-Heads -- the real stuff is over the counter with no hassle in Manhattan. I scored two boxes in LaGuardia and regret not cleaning them out. Thought they'd freak and not sell me any. This meth = fuck your sinus headache situation is a midwest thing. And I got denied Nasonex until the 20th ... fucking insurance. Now they're going to have to pay for the antibiotics to kill the righteous infection I'm working up. Bastards!!!