Usury Responses:

Contents

Although Flattered...

I guess I am kind of wondering why you copied my userpage, awards and all.

PS: I would love to adopt you, but whoring is more this guy's specialty. I can help improve your articles and give you editing help. What's first on the agenda? – (ooh!)(aah!)...·º•ø®@»LEGCUNGUNDUN14:09, 11 May 2009

Welcome! (It's good to feel Welcomed!)

Stuff I should read at some point...?

Hello, Happytimes, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

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If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome! --Sycamore(Talk) 11:16, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Happytimes, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim(Talk)Get saved! 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, man

I have to call you out on this one: Your "rewrites" for CW completely sucked. I'm serious. Name one good thing about any of the articles you claimed you rewrote. You can't, can you? You can't even find them. They left for a Suckaholics Anonymous meeting. You can meet them there if you want. It's at the corner of Completely Avenue and Sucks Street. --PlebSYNDROMECUNmedicate(butt poop!!!!) 02:46, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

No. You didn't even remove the CW templates from the articles you claim you're "done" with! What kind of a 2-bit operation do you think we're running here, man? --PlebSYNDROMECUNmedicate(butt poop!!!!) 03:10, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

It's a lot better than the old wage of one bit. You know what you can buy with one bit? Half a gumball. Or a whole ABC gumball. Not much else. --PlebSYNDROMECUNmedicate(butt poop!!!!) 05:51, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

M,m,m,m,m,m, ABC Gum! .... Hey wait a minutes! I *actually* read the stuffs on the CW page & it doesn't mention removing the template after bein' done with an article. Furthermoreith it verily doth sayith, "Make your rewrite better than the article replaced before it, but try to include funny material from the old page, if it has any." It doesn't state how much more betters it has to be and I believe I have exceeded the barest minimum by at least a quarter of an inch. (Well, at least one-eighth anyway.) I copy edited, injected random humor, spell checked, added some (funny to me) sentences/structures and fixed some outright crap that lived in those funky textafull nuggets. (Quite frankly, the rules are a little loose & open to interpretation anyway.) But you do have a point ----> I'll get those cleaned up a little bit. 'Sides the portion of those articles that really strokes my ego will reside on my user pages anyway. P.S. No, you suck! (Or Something....). ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 07:04, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, you're right that there are no rules about what your rewrite should be like. This isn't Uncyclopedia speaking. I'm telling you on a personal man-to-man level that you suck. I'm only saying something because I watch Cat for vandalism as it's a frequent IP target. I was excited when I saw that someone was rewriting it, but just by glancing at it I can't really tell the difference. It's still a long, listy article full of disjointed sections and random pictures. You removed some vandalism and fixed some spelling, and even wrote a section, but when all is said and done, the article still needs rewriting. That's not very flattering to say your rewrite needs rewriting, so the only proper course of action is to keep rewriting it until it no longer needs rewriting. And then you're done. Look at the other rewrites for CW (not mine) and you'll see that they put a lot of (well, some) thought into what the main idea of the article should be and how to take it in that direction. That's what separates a true rewrite from a helpful driveby: in addition to just tidying up the article, they pull it together and take it somewhere. My first featured article Teabag everything that moves was a rewrite for CW and you can see that I overhauled the whole thing. The Dog Dies at the End (SPOILER WARNING) is another featured rewrite that took an amusing concept and gave it life. No one expects you to write a FA-quality article but before you can call the article "yours" you should be thinking more like a writer and less like a WikiFairy.

Except, my dear sir Syndrome, you appear to be breaking Uncyclopedia rule Numero Uno: DON'T BE A DICK. Please stop harassing my Noob. You may, from now on, direct any and all verbal insults at me, but kindly leave Happytimes alone (unless your criticisms are constructive). I will review the content you are concerned with, and we will take it from there. For your convenience, here is a link to my talk page -> – (ooh!)(aah!)...·º•ø®@»LEGCUNGUNDUN06:39, 29 November 2009

Ah, ha ha ha ha! (Gee, this just ruins the timing of the response* I thought up after Syn's last post, ((I've been working on Uncyclopedia:Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball stuff (((& got side tracked revamping the Uncyclopedia:Proofreading Service))) & hadn't gotten around to finishing it & posting it yet.)) but do know that Syn's a nice not-evil guy, I did some checking up on him (history/edits/contributions/connections with the Russian mob; In Russia they provide you with background Czech!) and figured out he was a force for good on Uncych.)

Anytrail, thank you so much for sticking up for me Zana! It makes me feel all Christmassy and warm inside. These responses to comments always take so long... I haven't even said thank you to Rev. Zim_ulator yet. pffffft!~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 10:44, November 29, 2009 (UTC)

*So.... My full-assed response to SYNDROME was gonna kinda go like this: I was gonna sputter a bit & say "I'm more like a WikiGnome" and if you went WAY back in the Cat history (prior to the contest), and spend at least an hour looking into my works, you'd see that I've rewritten most of it (there's like 2-3 sections I haven't hit yet) and I was doing EXACTLY what you said but I find Cat to be more funny disjointed as it is thus the first reference at the bottom of the page about time travel.[1]

And then I would have moved on to calling you a "jerkface" (or some such) and telling that you "are more like a WikiTroll the way you're acting in your above post(s)..." or something.

Then I would have told you; "nah, you're more like a WikiElf" than a troll, and I would have referenced some of your work as an example (which I'm not going to do now), and maybe sucked up to you a bit (not really), and then say "but if we combined our forces instead of living in strife we would form into some kind of WikiGriffon, (Voltron), and be unstoppable!"

Then I would have made some comment about us being more like the Vehicle Voltron than the stupid insipid Lion Voltron, and that I get to be either the Escalade or the Jet Plane.

Oh, and it would have been both clever and funny!(And peppered with misspellings and puns as I tend to do in talk page space.) You would have died laughing.... Um; so there SYNDROME, in your face!Phhpppth!

Carebears

You are taking on Carebears? My first truly original article on Uncyclopedia? The article I keep looking at and groaning and wishing I could work out a way to actually make it interesting? Pup

(Ooh, I like that new? signature, but the userpage link is broken.)

Yeah, I was trying to take it on tonight, but am sleepy now (thus the proofread template so I will remember it later as I haven't officially signed up for the Uncyclopedia:Collaboratory yet). I thinked it definitely needs some actual Carebear images and some false as well. It's a great start and I hope my humble edits give you a warm-fuzzy push in the right direction. ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 06:34, December 2, 2009 (UTC)

Definitely needs images. The carebears that are included in here are the original carebears and the personalities are - scarily - pretty close to the originals as well. The major problem that I had with this is the intro and the ending. The intro is nonsense, which I try to avoid random humour, but seem to have gone down that track here, and the ending... isn't. I can flesh out the stuff about the bears themselves, and give a brief synopsis of their stories, but I want to redo the start completely. As much as I love the Shakespeare references, they are stopping this being feature-worthy. Pup

Ah I see. Yeah, you're probably right, Shakespeare references are like putting in blinking text for no good reason other than it's blinky and is awesome!!!. Finding Carebear images is as easy as watching the results in your favorite search engine. However, I do have a couple of good images for that somewhere in my files & will upload them soonish. ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 06:53, December 3, 2009 (UTC) File location: ________ .

The concept is awesome but I think we need a bit more copy-editing before you dunk it in the pee review. (I also downloaded about 30 non-cousin images if we want to expand it in wirededit weird ways.) Anyway a little more editing and I think we can consider moving this from the B team to the A team! ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 09:17, December 9, 2009 (UTC)

Each picture wasn't taken by me, they were found and cleverly manipulated into my man-van with promises of candy. I did some time searching the interwebs to find the perfect flesh-tunnel pictures for my concept and these little buggers were the ones I founded.

Each has been cleaned-up (stretched, prodded, sprinkled with delousing powder, depixelated, showered, sharpened, animated and given a nice white border) for clarity & re-sized for conformity. This one here (that I put up by mistake) File:Cocker Ring Bearer.JPG has minimal formatting other than some cropping. This one here File:Cocker Ring Bearer.gif has a couple of hours poured into it. And by couple of hours I mean jars of honey; and by into I mean onto. Hope that helps. ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 08:38, December 9, 2009 (UTC)

Hey man you've been busy!

I had a look at the stuff you've written. Do you intend to use the legal templates for it at some point? I mean, it looks a bit heavy now with the red text and all that, and would probably make a better impression with Zana's stuff - at least would look more like a legal document. Of course you do what you like but I think a long red text is really hard to read. Which boils down to: people will read it more if it's in black, blue, or grey. I wasn't paying attention - only the headers are red. Looks OK, very important to the reader when they're red. --StyleGuide 06:42, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, about that, the bottom stuff was just to look all leagally although I think it worked out pretty well for now... I'll probably put it on a sub-page later on when I can devote more than equal time to this project. I haven't EVEN gotten my user pages where I want them yet, lot's of work there! Anypath, I'll add the template soon, as soon as I figure out the flow of the page. Once we officially launch UnLegal I'll add a "legal" jump link to my main page template as well. ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 06:57, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Another thing: you filed a complaint and I opened the case - but I have an accusation of my own! How do you plead? Here: Uncyclopedia Legal Department/Happytimes vs Multiliteralist. My idea now is that we work this thing up into something resembling a court case and in the end, use templates where needed to make it look legal. Also, don't forget to add your own affidavit about the legal fees going over the top. After that we can wing it, adding §:s and whatnots, basically also write a law or statute or whatever on signatures and legal fees both. And link that as a reference to the case. And cash in on that of course. --StyleGuide 06:32, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah here's what I think we'll do: first file our affidavits (I did mine already) and you file yours. I then respond to your accusation, and you respond to mine - all as affidavits. Then we continue countering each others' accusations until it looks like a totally ridiculous mess, you know: "Yeah but he had no call to use my sig!" vs "He gets paid such a large fee so of course I used his sig!" -- we can use legalese or plain language, whichever looks funny. Then write up a transcript of the actual court session in the end, in one of our userspaces, and publish the whole as a case. Should be quite good. --StyleGuide 06:38, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Maybe if you used more flowery and businesslike language in your affidavits and I went the other way? Which do you like - I can do either, just let me know. --StyleGuide 06:40, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

You too. Occurred to me - let's leave the sigs out of the affidavits - will look more legal. OK? I'll do some other stuff now - add the fee accusation again as another affidavit if you like. Then the Dept. will strike it later and gives "reasons undisclosed" as a reason. Everyone gets the joke and if they don't, we'll file a fucking complaint. --StyleGuide 06:51, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Yes, better without the official/normal sig but the time stamp is good! (Even if we fake it when we don't log on for a few days.) Looks like we need to make up official unlegal sigs now: "User:Happytimes/UnLegSigHeil" or some such. Possibly even: "User:Happytimes/UnLegSigHeil/Defender" "User:Happytimes/UnLegSigHeil/Prosecutor" "/Judge" "/Witness" "/Pimp" "/Guilty Party" etc.~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 07:43, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

...and in the end, when the transcript is ready, we'll move it to the Case page where the affidavits now are, and make another page for the affidavits. Doesn't need to be in any way like real life cases are, as long as it looks somehow bureaucratic. --StyleGuide 06:56, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Hey! the case I filled was about you making more money than me (plus a rather clever comment in the summary I might add)!

But I see your point, lets go ahead and bring the argument around to money ~ you're now loosing revenue because I've diluted your name brand or some such. Now the royalty checks are less because of music/video type pirating by me. Intellectual property rights.... Ah, the ideas are endless. Plus love. Love will set me free. lol.

As for the flowery and businesslike language, I really don't care. I mostly just write on the fly.

By the way, I have no legal background _at all_ so I pretty much have to fake it all the way through. That red & black on my legal page; sporked & re-edited. But I think I can wing it pretty well. I'll probably end up learning Latin and tax lingo along the way. ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 07:20, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah but really the red header/black text scheme looks good in a document where the reader should be scared of someone trying to steal from him. Maybe we should use Zana's template scheme where we are trying to rob them. --StyleGuide 07:14, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Ha!

Also, how do I add a link to lead to a specific header in an article? Will be useful later when we have laws and §:s and need to link to them from other documents. --StyleGuide 07:16, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

The best way is to jump to it from the Table Of Contents from a page. When you jump from the TOC copy the last bit of the link after your http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/ ... Once you've done that a couple of times you will see how easy it's done. (And if you're ambitious, do on the fly.)

If you look at my posts in Zana's talk page ((Newb Antagonist), etc.) you can see how they are linked there as well. ((The only problem with this method is if someone changes the text of a heading, or if someone takes part of the page and archives it (like on Zana's tp) then you have to go back & re-edit the link to make it work. (As I've done on Zana's tp.))~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 07:25, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Testing, works. OK, I suspected something like that. We'll just have to trust nobody changes the law without permission from the Dept. If they do, it's suing time again. --StyleGuide 07:56, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Also, maybe we could start scripting the actual court session transcript. Whom could we ask to act as judge and jury? Makes more goodies if there's one more I think. --StyleGuide 08:34, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

I agree, the more the better.

I have no idea who to ask.... We may want to see about scheduling a "court date" anyway as I have to go to bed to go to work tomorrow and probably won't be back in force until this weekend. ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 08:37, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Arite - I'll ask someone and meanwhile set up the session template and what else I can come up with. Nice to see you enjoy the idea like I do. --StyleGuide 08:39, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

For some reason the case is back on QFVD again - don't do anything, I have a backup of it in my userspace, I will recreate it if someone throws it away now. Might be some glitch somewhere but it's easier to go the other way than mix everyone into it. --StyleGuide 10:11, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

On the other hand - we can always make that into a new case if nobody else complains. Let's let Zana judge and jury us now, I think? I think a good idea is to construct the court session somewheres before putting it on the case page, since proper mogrifeid legalese seems to get better with more sessions. Also, around the session itself there might occur some spots for unnecessary extra decoration like "The session was conducted according to (blah blah blah §8) and then, if in the mood for it, actually create said (blah blah blah §8) somewhere to be linked. OK - I'll make the construction page User:Multiliteralist/Multi_vs_Happy1.--StyleGuide 07:13, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

Sounds good to me. -- I wrote some stuff on the page but it's mostly just some notes at this point, when I have more time I'll unhide it & post it. (Please don't respond until I unhide it fo sho')... Let me know where the construction page is. ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 08:11, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

Done.

Newb Proposal

I, User:Happytimes, have been giving this new-fangled Unlegal department some of my best thoughts lately. Some things have come to mind... (Lawyers speak in third person right?)Ahem,~H~ *CA* lack of organization, *CA* no legal dictionary set-up yet, *CA* lack of significant pay for ~H~. See summons if it be to please you.

Your Happytimes/Legal dept...

...looks now all business. Want me to mangle it a bit when I have a spare moment? Another thing, have you already started scripting laws? I will take part in that but I have so many half-finished projects I won't start it myself. Please tell me if/when you do. I'm prepared to write a few laws without a clue. A third thing: how about making headers out of the numbered "headers" you now have in Happytimes/Legal dept.? That way they would be easier to reference in other Legal Dept. articles. Yours respectfully, --StyleGuide 13:41, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

1.) Feel free to mangle it a bit if you like.

B.) I have not started scripting laws... (I too have half, fourth and one-sixteenth finished projects) only procedures & such. I'm not sure how to begin scripting laws. However, I think we need to hire an intern to go into everyone's talk pages and collect all the forming thoughts about Unlegal and build them all into one page. How can you find out who is a noob new to the site?

3.) I can make headers in my department ok ok... but let me format it into a better page before I do. If we're gonna be referencing it I want to semi-permanize it first. ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 02:29, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

Go ahead

Go ahead, I had just some minor point there, edit away. --StyleGuide 08:35, December 16, 2009 (UTC)
Tell me when done, I would like to change a couple of wordings. Do you mind if I change "butt-hurt" to "if your arse still smarts"? I somehow would like the judge to use a rougher language than the rest. Then the "mention of butt in the chair" would look even more idiotic. Well - if it can look less idiotic in some way - but at least we would get a contrast. --StyleGuide 08:47, December 16, 2009 (UTC)
Oh yes - and can I please change "to stop laughing" to "to stop laughing like morons"? I think that was your intention. I mean if it's not explained a bit, it looks like a laughter track on a quick read. --StyleGuide 08:55, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

(I'm done for tonight.)

Hm,m,m,mm,m I think 'Butt-hurt' is the stronger/rougher language there, but I'm American and don't understand your funny foreign words too well. Ok, not really; change away if you like, although I think "butt-hurt" works better in context with the other paragraphs. (You may want to collaborate with Zana on what Zana says. I figured she would make changes as she sees fit next time she looks at the page anyway.) I may use color or colour interchangeably'cause I'm weird, but as an American I wouldn't use "arse," I'd use "ass." I can't believe I just admitted to using ass! It's hard out there for a pimp.~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 09:02, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

User:Multiliteralist/Multi_vs_Happy1 here, I hope you like it. I like to use "arse" because it is more descriptive, hence more insulting. Also in this sentence "arse" and "smarts" ring nicely together. Then when "butt" is again brought up in the next sentence or so, it looks like the judge is a teacher gone bad and the audience and the rest are a bunch of silly school kids. But I'll not start any fights over it, if you or Zana like it better some other way, go ahead and do your worst. I rest my case. --StyleGuide 11:14, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

I heard a rumour...

... that you have girly bits. In which case I have to be an obligatory sexist and say "Go ahead - make my sandwich." However, the other point of note is that the version of monitor in my user space has been moved to mainspace. I have no problem with anyone changing any of it, but you'd be better off changing that one. (I like the changes, btw.) Pup

You heard right, I do have girly parts! (I'm saving them to make a woman for all the usual reasons... conversation.) So I guess I'll oblige your request; one ass-samich commin' up!

I'm glad you moved it to mainspace, it was pretty much done the last time I looked. Also, glad you liked the editing, it was fun to do! Although I did notice the mainspace version is from before my changes, but those changes may have been subversive to begin with so maybe you are right to cast them aside like a widowed spinster. ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 01:53, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

Ireng Shui

Where are you planning to go with that one? I ask because it looks like stub at the moment, so it might be an idea to add either the {{construction}} tag or an explanation on the discussion page. Rabbi TechnokvetchContribsFOXES 11:53, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

I'd like to expand it someday, however I think it might be funny just the way it is as a stub. (Now if I could just figures outs a way to makes a stubs.) I find it hilarious whenthelinksreinforceorcontrastthetext in a humorous way, otherwise that article just wouldn't be funny at all... Discussion, how can I make this into an in-joke so people find it funny anyway..? hm,m,m,m,m,mm.~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 01:41, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

Larfter track

Are you sure about the laughter track? It gives the whole business a bit of a "make sure" - comedy bit, like the one where Croucho Marx slaps the stetson on his head and imitates an old cowboy - and the crook that has hired him laughs to make sure the bit is seen as funny. Another thing is - I wanted the latter one to be "...mention of butt in the chair" since it is the judge that talks of butts. Just minor points but these are my reasons. --StyleGuide 06:10, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

Yes I am sure about the laugh track, I think we should get the one from the Brady Bunch, I think the "like idiots" takes the joke too far. As for butt in the chair, that is fine with me... but the way I read it doesn't make sense to me. Lets screw around with this until mid Saturday and then call in someone(s) else to add some minor content and proof it for us. Wadda ya think? ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 06:10, December 18, 2009 (UTC)

In Gratitude

CongratulationsYou have been awarded the secret purple nurples for outstanding acts of uselessness![[{|]] [[|}]]

If ever...

...I do come back, you will be the one! I'll want to write the article about what is excellent humerrrr with. I did it once writing Classical Satire and would have wanted some help with it but I didn't know you then. Thanks for helping me out too! My calling people twits probably didn't do much to help my case but as I'm leaving I didn't care either. Now the point has been explained to them on a non-personal level, with an example and all - if they choose to ignore it they are just plain EVIL. --StyleGuide 11:25, December 23, 2009 (UTC)

Plain EVIL is so- plain.It's the Banana Split with extra gummi-bears and Oreo crumble on top EVIL that you really have to watch out for!!!!!

Seriously though, thank you. I appreciate you. I'd be happy to collaborate if I know the subject matter, or edit if I don't.

You should just do what I do and avoid the whole VFH process altogether. The only voting I like to take part in is the VFD(or the random vote-for-this make-believe stuff that people put up) if only to save the salvageable from purgatory. In my opinion far too many articles get erased simply because they are "too short" even though Wikipedia is full of nubs and stubbons itself. (Yes I can see that a one joke shorty is best suited to a user's sexction, but some short articles serve their place as subtle humor or as supporting documentation/source material to other areas of the site. Sometimes you do need a straight man to provide the needed contrast to the comic's antics.) I'd like to see more long meandering articles have the crap cut out of them (like a cancer) and just have the good stuff left behind. (Maybe we could make a "kancer survivor" section template/area/project which does just this. Maybe it puts the lotion template on it's skin, say for about six months, to see if the interim improvements over time merit savior or damnation?.?.?.???)Anyway....

To me VFH is an Un-popularity contest that gives you templates only if you win or vote for an article. (No one ever gives out templates that say, "Thank-you for voting against my article- (jerk?) Your criticism about _____ has been noted." But I can tell you that I would if I ever got one of my 3-5 articles nominated, oh boy!) And those templates (to me) mostly just clutter up user & talk pages anyway (But if you or <insert name here> is giving them out then hell yeah I want one (thanks Zim), I have future plans for 'em.) Then it's like, "look at my far too long signature which proves I've contributed significantly to one area of Uncyclopedia."

There really is no reward system[1] for those who edit a lot, reverse vandalism, or do like I do: which is to do whatever the hell I feel like doing at any given moment. And to tell the truth, I don't think there should be. Yeah it would be nice to encourage people to copy-edit more here, but it would be near impossible to implement a voting system for that, and difficult to recognize active users otherwise due to differing time zones. ('Sides, I wouldn't force that kind of torture on my worst enemy if it wasn't in their forte.)

I don't worry about it though. I figure if someone is curious enough to spend time going through my (talk) pages and history & body of work then their gonna know I'm a rock-star and worship me anyway (like <insert name here> does) or not.

In conclusion:1.) Articles WILL get featured on the front page whether I participate or not. 2.) I don't want to read extra articles unless I'm interested in the topic anyway. 3.) There are already a dedicated crew of people? who do this (for me) already. 4.)THIS SAVES ME A LOT OF TIME!5.) And. Um. Yeah... Oh! ... I don't care.

I still think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. The only effective way I could see of instituting a more effective system here is to have it so that for votes are counted, and if the number of votes after the grace period of three days is less than half the highest number of votes for the last FA then axe that nomination. It means stuff that won't be featured won't just sit there and stagnate, and stuff that will will be noticed a lot faster. I have a tendency personally to abstain without comment if I'm not impressed with an article, unless I find that the article annoys me, and in that case I will vote against.

But avoiding the whole issue of the vote system, again I think this is an over reaction. I like Multi's stuff, and I like happytimes stuff. In fact I have worked with happytime on Carebears which I usually would not do. Actually, I generally tend to avoid the whole collab thing altogether as I am a prima donna about my writing. (SPIKE actually started to work on White folks which was an article I'd rewritten and then abandoned. I like what Spike has been doing but not enough to go back to the article.)

I have a tendency to ramble. The main point is that you are both appreciated, and that I give you both kudos for fantastic work even if the way the system is geared is making things more awkward for you. So you've ranted, expressed opinion, things haven't really changed, but you're turning your back on a community that you are a significant part of. If you come back later it will look like a tail between your legs. If you stay it will show that you are tough enough to take it and actually add weight to your words.

But your decision is your decision. I will be upset if you don't come back, but I respect your right to go, and I appreciate your feedback. It will not be forgotten, and as with every system change will happen. It will just take a bit more time. Pup

I'm in need of some ideas, Can you help

I am currently working or a article on the show Whale Wars (it can be viewed here), but I'm kinda having some trouble of thinking what else to put on there, so I'm asking a few people on ideas, including you. If you have an idea, you can either go to the discussion page on that article or my talk page and tell me your idea. And please, don't suggest anything stupid (something that contradicts the HTBFANJS). If you don't have an idea, then sorry for wasting your time (or am I?). Thanks!--WILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 08:27, December 24, 2009 (UTC)

Remember to sign stuff

...Especially if it's a vote on VFD. I fixed your vote on Mammalian Sting with this: —The preceding unsigned comment was added bySPIKE (talk • contribs) . Also replied to your vote. You may replace "unsigned" with your actual signature if you like.

You Suck,Happytimes

YOU!!!YOU MESSED WITH MY EDITING, KITTEN HUFFER NOOB!!!

See what a pain unsigned messages are? I've responded on your behalf on Gummibarcrush's talk page because collaboration (or "messing with" edits) happens all the time, we don't all have the same idea of what's funny, and what we have to do is work together. Please don't escalate the hostilities.

As for your specific edits:

Clearly it says "Meth" right here.

Meth isn't a proper name, but it is the subject of the article, so I guess capitalizing it is okay.

Meth-and-human-rights-organizations is creative. My only caution is that an article that becomes a catch-all for creative but unrelated thoughts (see the second half of Global warming) is not as funny as an article that has a theme (for example, misunderstanding something to be something else) and sticks with it throughout.

"Meth isn't a proper name"? The fuck it's not! Haven't you seen those advertisements that say: "Meth- not even once." It's like you're trying to tell me that advertisers don't have our best interests at heart and don't use proper Nu-English and stuff.

"Please don't escalate the hostilities." huh, ...and I just got a new escalator for Christmas too. Dang. Ok, ok, ok....

I agree with you on the 'catch-all for creative but unrelated thoughts' aspect of pages, but I don't like to mess with stuff to much on pages I didn't create, otherwise I'm afraid I might have users going all crazy with YOU SUCK!!! YOU!!!YOU MESSED WITH MY EDITING, KITTEN HUFFER NOOB!!! messages all over my talk pages. (If I ever do go back through & streamline an article it's usually the last thing I do.) In the case of Meth when I stumbled upon it to add the Carebears pic I saw that it was a jumbled mess of nonsense that looked as if a person on Meth had written it. I edited a few things and added the {{Proofread}} tag & went on my merry way. Once the page had been vandalized further, I returned and fixed it & edited a bit more (as is my usual wont to do) and moved on. (In Gummibarcrush's case I really didn't find the juxtaposition of Disney/Hanna Montana and Meth to be all that funny, but to each his own. In fairness though, the section he replaced (in my opinion) was too homophobic to be funny so I can see why he changed it.) ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 01:04, December 25, 2009 (UTC)

I haven't seen that ad; in fact, no one has ever tried to convince me not to use meth Meth. Gave you some thoughts on your edit after reading the diffs; it doesn't mean that I endorse his prior version, which I haven't read, not being a meth user. Why is it that when you ask someone not to escalate, they take it right to the other guy's talk page???? though your olive branch is commendable. And after I made that request, it occurred that you two might know each other and the "you suck" might be much less than met the eye--It is sort of a meme here, and I tend overly to take stuff at face value. You're on your way. SpıkeѦ01:17 25-Dec-09

Your sig

Dude, You can't add the timestamp to it like that. First, you need to change it back to how it was, then use this code in your preferences signature input: {{SUBST:nosubst|User:Happytimes/sig}} <font style="color: gray; font-size:9px;">{{subst:CURRENTTIME}}, {{subst:CURRENTDAY}} {{subst:CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}</font>

You can adjust the style attribute on the font tag however you wish. Then, sign with three tildes instead of four (~~~) – (ooh!)(aah!)...·º•ø®@»LEGCUNGUNDUN16:42, 28 December 2009

(Fnuck! I (at first) had the {{CURRENTYEAR}} type tags in my sig but they got cut & pasted wrong when I saved the final edit to my signature. Not that that would have fixed it mind you; knowing about the signature input preferences really opened my eyes to what I did wrong. (Yes, I know you showed me once, but sometimes I have the dumb.)

Hey you!

I just made a new rule for my usergroup, namely that members have to put the official userbox, {{User Apocalypse Grue}}, on their userpage, and that they must somehow link to the group's page somewhere in their signature. Please do so, and have a nice day. --InvincibleFlameGrueMaster1231, 06:36, 2009

Mattlobster has just cast a sixth vote against this article on VFD, surely because it's been in VFD for too long. I remind you that my vote against is for sale; just get started repairing this article! you can do it and I can't. SpıkeѦ19:01 4-Jan-10

Thanks for the vote of confidence on my editing skills. However, I think the vote against it has sailed in it's current form. Maybe it's better to move it to my userspace (User:Happytimes/VFD/) until I can get a chance to work on it? I'd hate to put time into it just to see it disappear. (Besides I would have to do additional research on the topic to bring what it needs I suppose.)~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 05 Jan 2010 ~ 03:23 (UTC)

Many of us would have to do additional research. Maybe the real difference is that I don't care about yet another rapper, and you seem to. I am not an Admin, and neither will make the final decision on the vote nor can move the page to your userspace. If you are really enthused, cut the source and paste it into a new page in your userspace, because once in the last month the Admins didn't notice such a request in the VFD vote. SpıkeѦ03:37 5-Jan-10

Copy!I've already got the source code.

It's not so much that I care about R. Kelly ('cause I, like many Americans, don't) but I think it would be a good vehicle to tie into the Pee Review. (Yeah, I didn't have one moved last go 'round too. Oh well.)~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 05 Jan 2010 ~ 03:46 (UTC)

notm nom

You saw my conversation with DannyVirus or whatever his name is, good, I'm glad someone read it. One of the funniest things I've seen on uncy, and I lived it! He did change his response on his talk page, the first one was very good. Did you read his comments on the Ban User page when he thought it was about him? Fnord. Aleister in Chains December 7, 1941

You only get to be nominated for NOTM once & most noobs are too much of a noob to know they have a shot until it's too late. I think he's got potential and I expect great things. We just have to teach him how to organize his talk page a bit better. ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 11 Jan 2010 ~ 01:17 (UTC)

Ah, I read his unbook-in-progress and watched it's growth during the past couple of hours, and it totally held my attention. I've been waiting for someone to bote for for notm, and probably will actually vote for him for potential and stick-around-ness. Did you vote for him, there's one vote on the board. Thanks, Aleister in Chains Time is overrated, MMX

Yeppers! I nominated and voted for him (her?) all in one edit. You're quite right ole' chap, the story has indeed captured my attention. (BTW thanks for adding the {{VoteNOTM}} template to Dannehvirus' page.)~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 12 Jan 2010 ~ 02:08 (UTC)

Grue Rape

I quickly ignite the black pitch-like substance (as I recognize Grue droppings when I see them) to ward away Grues while I get out my floodlight equipment! They're especially nasty when it's their time of the month. (Good thing it's not dark or I'd be dead by now.) ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 12 Jan 2010 ~ 02:08 (UTC)

RE: Welcome back? stranger

/coughs twice to denote importance Stranger? Me? Bah! I'm only the, uh, like five-thousandth most popular person on this entire website! Now, that's not saying much, but imagine if I was the five-thousandth most popular person in the WORLD! Then EVERYONE (except those people in africa who speak unintelligible mumbo-jumbo shit) would know who I am, inducing YOU! In other words, I have no idea how you don't know who I am. I mean, I won NotM for July (or something) of 2009! And RotM that same month! --StaircaseCUNt 03:57, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, I wrote "stranger" since we've never met and the "?" since it appears you've never left?

Cult? Wha? I'm already in a cult. I managed to join one whilst searching for my car keys one morning. But, as they say, the more the merrier, eh? StaircaseCUNt 02:40, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

Help Please

I am in need of some ideas for my article HowTo:Date A Emo Girl. It has been in my user space for some time, and I really want to get it done. If you have any good ideas, click here, make a new section, and put down what would make this article good. Thanks!--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 05:10, January 18, 2010 (UTC)