Hellooo, Iâm Ulrika Johnson welcome to my new instructional video âAll Men are Bastardsâ. Yeah, itâs the ONE THING I do know! All Men Are Bastards! Mr Right? Mr Shite More Like! More like Mr Fuck Shite if you don't mind.

Iâve had more than my fair share of difficult relationships; so let me help you to look out for those telltale signs that mean your 'man' is a TOTAL BASTARD.

****Long Hours in the âofficeââ¦ ******Affairs? **********Keeps telling you he going to leave his wife!â¦*********Utter Bastard!
*********Over 50? Rich?*********Three ex-wives, seven kids, twenty-nine affairs, possessive? Cries guiltily during sex? wants you to go three up with some 'lesbians' he met in a lap dancing club?

An Absolute fucking triple A Bastarding Fucking Bastard.
Get âAll Men Are Bastardsâ now and benefit from my rotten bad luck.
â¦Erâ¦I meant to say, benefit from my rich post feminist true life experience.

...Anyone got anything to stop my neck from sagging.......It's hangin' down and swaying in the breeze like some kind of de-lasticated dermal scrag end.