Yep, the other half is out on the razzle with work mates, it’s been in the diary for weeks and has finally arrived and boy am I looking forward to it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love our evenings together, we play with the girls, put them to bed, eat, chat and watch something on the box cuddled up on the sofa with a glass of wine (me), a beer (him) and some chocs if there are any in the house. Bliss!

But boy do I enjoy an evening on my own.

My preparations start a few days beforehand when it pops into my mind that Friday I’m on my own, ‘Brilliant, I can spend a guilt free evening surfing the net and catching up on all the posts I haven’t yet read.’

When I shop I make sure I’ve got something nice to eat but quick to produce as I don’t want to waste my time cooking for one! Tonight I’ve gone for Chinese, and have put some wine in the fridge.

I will have the TV on in the background but won’t be looking at it, well maybe the odd glance at Comic Relief.

And you know the worse thing? Even though I will have all this me time I still won’t accomplish everything I want to do because I will get sidetracked from one blog to another or one site to another.

I will eventually turn the PC off to go to bed and think ‘Oh bloody hell! I didn’t reply to that email, check that site for tickets, pay my account, check for new property and so on and so on and so on.

But one of the things I would like to start tonight include, blowing the dust off The Book and start to rewrite it. This has been on the To Do list since January and still hasn’t been attempted. So I’m setting myself a task and a time limit as I fear without these I just won’t do it. A healthy kick up the rear end would be very persuasive.

I don’t really know why. I think editing and re writing come under the umbrella of boring, tedious work and this is why it gets pushed aside. So no more laziness, it’s got to be done.

Over the past four months we have had our house on the market and therefore we, more myself, have had to deal with estate agents.

Now they are notoriously known for their very low stakes in the ‘most trusted profession lists’, I think a national poll recently had them one from the bottom only being pipped to ground zero by politicians.

I have been speaking to four people in the office we’re using, two female and two men.

When I am speaking to the men and they are giving me feedback from a viewing or advice on how to get the house moving (ie lower the price) I always find myself trying to second guess them. My trust in them zero. I spend hours after the phone call going over our conversation and trying to understand the hidden messages they’re not telling me.

Whereas if I speak with the lovely Jade or Teresa. I take their word as it’s given and once I’ve put the phone down I leave it and get on with other things. I feel incredibly more comfortable and have no concerns about if what they’re telling me is the truth.

Is this just me? Or do women manage somehow to install more trust between themselves?

In a mad rush as per usual, I dashed over to Notes from Lapland and discovered another Brand New Challenge that she’s organising with Cafe Bebe’ (this is turning out to be an extremely challenging week!)

Vlogging. It’s the next BIG thing, so Methinks I ought to give it a go.

There’s always been a tiny part of me who wanted to be famous, oh ok a big part and now I have my platform. I have taken this challenge ‘Teach me something’ very seriously as you will see for yourself in a moment

Our discussion had already been heated as we thrashed out our differences.

He doesn’t think it’s right for me to spend ‘hours’ on the pc when I could be ironing, washing, cleaning, scrubbing and doing the trillion other chores that exists in any Stay At Home Mum’s life.

I, on the other hand only go on the PC when the girls are sleeping and use it as very precious Me Time. (At about 16.30 I suddenly realise I’ve been on here far too long and go into stupid mode completing an afternoon’s work in record time!)

My blog has become more and more important to me as each post is submitted and comments start to dribble through and after 6 weeks just when I’m starting to get the hang of it, THIS.

He doesn’t read or write classing it as a chore rather than a favourable pastime. He cannot see the pleasure one gets from slowly coming to grips with something new, making it work for you and seeing your own improvement as the days pass. A practical man who believes that dreams should remain belongings of the night.

When he asked me the question above, I took a sharp intake of breath as it registered on my brain (What did he just ask me?) and in a nano second my blood raised to 100 degree celsius and exploded against my skull, my heart was almost crashing out of my rib cage and it scared me…

Where had all this anger come from? We were merely discussing my new blog.

My hands were shaking at the end of my arms and my whole body was trembling, taken over by the most massive wrath ever. I was impressed! I didn’t know I could get this angry and I certainly didn’t realise how much this new project actually meant to me.

I think I scared him too. I saw a flicker in his eyes, the flash of concern fleet across his brow and the quick calculation in his brain ‘Uh-oh, I shouldn’t have said that!’

NO you shouldn’t have bloody said that.

Then unable to stop this incredible rage in its tracks I did my usual; I shouted hurtful, horrible words I could think of.

Why didn’t I reply…

‘Well actually, seeing as we’ve both decided that I should stay at home with the girls whilst they are small and concentrate on bringing them up properly, I thought I’d try to have a go at writing. My dream for a long time has been to write a book and in order to do that successfully I need to practice my writing. A blog is the perfect place to do so. Who knows? I may be able to make some money along the way too?

Oh no, not me. I crashed around our front room like a bull in a confined pen anxious for release.

I said all those awful things to my soul mate, to the man I love most in this world. The man who holds me tenderly all night long. The most honest and kind man I have ever met. The man who has been there every step of the way holding my hand through our heart breaks and kissing the world back to better when I thought it could no longer be a place for me to live.

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone off like that. I want to continue with my blog as I’m discovering so much about myself. I will not deprive the girls of fun time and I would never see them come to any harm.

They are our life and you are mine.

This post has been written for Josie’s 15th Writing workshop I chose prompt 4 – Recount a time when you erupted.