DH was off yesterday and I texted him telling him my check engine light came on. He came up to work and brought me his truck and took my car for service. He also brought me some flowers and cancy, but he never apologized.

I get home and the girl is there - I forgot it was Tuesday. DH stopped and picked up KFC for dinner - we usually have that Christmas Eve but due to the visitation/custody thing we sorta changed that. I had three chicken fingers and a biscuit.

The evening was quiet because I am/was still mad. The girl is doing her own thing, talking to her friends, cleaning her room and just being there. DH tells me he was texting his son and his son tells DH he was rude to his girlfriend. The girlfriend didn't feel welcome in our home because DH didn't talk to her and/or invite her on the house tour! WOW I'm thinking maybe now he will get what I was saying about him being rude for not introducing me first, but he just sits there.

Me I just watch TV again with the Breaking Bad episodes, I should have never started watching that! I don't say anything else, but I do tell the girl goodbye and good night. We will see her again tomorrow.

This morning on the way to work DH as the audacity to ask what is bothering me...seriously? I tell him again how rude he was and how disrespected I feel and he refuses to apologize. Then I say..OK then it is my house and I'm saying...do not bring anyone else into my house that I don't know. If you do and don't introduce me first I will make a scene and literally say...whoa, whoa, whoa, who is this, who are you bringing into my house? He just sits there.

So then at work he texts me a song by George Strait - The Man in Love with You

I text him back a song by Faith Hill - It Matters to Me

He finally apologized and then said he invited Joe (his son) back over so he could apologize to his girlfriend. We will see how this goes.

I have been snacking all day today - stress I believe

B: yogurt, iced vanilla latte

S: peanut butter M&Ms

L: salad, ranch dressing, cheetos

S: peanut butter M&Ms, balanced breaks

D: DH put on a pot of 15 bean soup so hopefully that will be good. There are some beans I'm not really fond of like LIMA BEANS - I hate them. My mom would make a pot of stew and I would get lima beans. My mom would always say there might have been two lima beans in the entire pot and I would get both of them.

I have a headache today.

One of my cousins died on Christmas Day - she was only 4 years older than me. I will miss her, she taught me the appreciation of reading and for that I will never forget her!

Have a great evening! IP

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

puddles on 12/28/2016:
Sorry to hear about your cousin and good luck tonight with DH's son coming over. Have a great evening.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/29/2016:
seee so what comes around goes around and now DH was told by you and his cousin that his actions weren't so hot! nice.

actions speak louder than words, it seems DH is doing right by you....he is not the best communicator we all know that by now!

Iam so sorry about the loss of your cousin during the holiday time :(

stay strong :)

InnerPeace - Tuesday Dec 27, 2016

Weight: 306.0

WHew! thank God Christmas is over! I had a good Christmas, sad Christmas and OMG I don't even know how to act Christmas. I just need to get it out...so please don't feel you need to read it all my food will be at the bottom.

Friday I left work a few hours early and went home. DH was working late of all days so I told him I would pick up the girl. She gets in the car and says, so there was another fight last night about 12:30. I ask oh, who was fighting this time? She replies, her mom and brother because her brother didn't think her mom and stepdad should punish her for texting/talking to her dad. So oh, wow this could be a good thing, because her brother hasn't had anything to do with DH since I've been here. They apparently got into some big argument fight back in March 2012 and they haven't spoken since. I just tell her, well, I don't really think they should keep you from talking to DH either. I had ordered Chipolte for dinner so we stop by and pick it up. We get home and DH gets home and we eat dinner. When the girl goes to take a shower he tells me that his niece isn't coming over to give the girl her birthday/Christmas present, but she is now coming tomorrow because she had something to do tonight. Fine, I don't really care anyway. They shower and then leave and go to Wal-Mart for something.

Saturday we get up and I take the girl shopping for DH. We go to a few places and get him some grilling spice and a new grill cover, we pick up a few things and head back to the house. We said we were going to eat about 5:00 and then do Christmas at 8:00 because the girl had to be back at her Mom's Christmas day at 10:00 am. We cook, we eat. So about 6:30 the neice finally shows up. DH answered the door and he chauffers the neice and her son (about 7) back into the family room. The girl opens her gift and then she shows them her room and DH shows them the house because they have never been over before. Oh yeah, and I have never met this person. So after the gift giving and house tour DH finally brings her into the living room and says, Oh yeah, this is my wife JoAnn. All I could say, was Hi, it's nice to meet you and then they leave. I felt so disrespected I couldn't hardly talk. Once they leave we watch the remake of Pete's Dragon and then open the gifts. This was a nice part. Fun and surprises it was all good, almost made me not be upset. While the girl was opening gifts I told her and DH that I am making them appointments to talk to a counselor at the beginning of the year. Of course the girl asks why and i tell her that I think it will be better for her to talk to someone not involved in what she has to deal with at our house and at her mom's. She actually seemed ok with it. And then she asked why does my dad have to go? I said because he has anger issues and I'm sick of getting the brunt of it because someone p!sses him off. She started laughing at him and he just gave me the dirty look...oh but he is going!

Sunday I make biscuits and chocolate gravy - this is a yearly treat I only make on Christmas. My son never liked it and the girl doesn't either, so I just make it for myself. I think DH just eats it because that's what he does...eat. The girl leaves at 10:00 and then DH and I just hang out until movie time. I told him a few days ago that I wanted to see the movie Passengers. We did. It was a great movie. We get home and all is good.

Monday we get up early and go shopping for discounted Christmas decorations. I wanted some ornaments from Big Lots so we stop there first. We are looking around and deciding if we want stuff. I see a little bag of bows. They are the cutest bows ever. They are bows that don't look like bows but more like flowers and they are so darling and they were half off! A $1.75 at the most for twelve so cute! I put them in the buggy and keep going. We have a few wreathes I wanted, more ornaments and stuff. I notice DH put a big bag of regular bows in the cart, I didn't say anything because I can always find a use for bows! So we get to the register and he picks up the little bag of bows and asks, do you still want these? I look at him funny because I'm not sure why he's asking me this. I say of course. He then says, well I got these regular size bows, do you still need these? Seriously right now...Yes I want the small cute bows for $1.75. And then he says, but you can get these regular bows for the same price and there are 24 of them. I do not care about the price. I want the small freaking bows! I am trying to say this nicely as we are still in the store. I'm aggravated and the clerk is trying to put the stuff in the bags and I just ask for two extra bags for my wreathes and I leave the store.

We get out to the car and while unloading all the stuff I am trying to put the wreath in the bag and DH says, that's not going to fit. One of the ornaments on the wreath was snagged on the side of the bag and only needed to be moved over. So I push the ornament to the side and get my wreath in the bag and say...that's the difference between me and you! You have this defeatist attitude and give up without trying. I can see that the wreath will fit and with a little effort I can get it into the bag. And then I ask, what is the big deal with my bows? He says, I just thought you didn't need them if we got the big ones. And then I say, if I didn't want the bows, I wouldn't have picked them. I had my bows before you put the other bows in the cart. I wanted the bows. He gets all mad and says his usual crap...whatever JoAnn "IT DON'T MATTER!" Well of course it matters!

We get in the car and I am just so frustrated. No, I am furious. I started out to go to Wal-mart because there were some doves I wanted, but I was so mad. I just went back home. I told him...it matters to me!! The bull sh!t stuff I listen to with you and your exwife POS THAT STUFF DON't MATTER! I matter. What I want, feel, think and do... MATTERS! Tears were shed by me this day! I hated him at this moment! I go in the house and go in one room and he goes in the other and I hate him right now. About 11:00 I start moving around again and start taking the Christmas Tree down. It was relatively warm out and I get sick of looking at it after awhile, especially when there are no gifts under it. The tree is down and stored for next year.

DH's friend is going back to Bulgaria today, so DH says he is going to say goodbye last night and wish him safe travels, which is fine. He leaves as I am finishing laundry and get drawn into the Breaking Bad marathon. He soon calls and asks if I want to go to dinner with him and his friend. I politely decline because we have tons of food at the house. About an hour later I get another text from DH that he has received his best Christmas present ever. His son just text him and told him Merry Christmas and that he misses him and it is time to patch things up. This is the son he hasn't talked to in four years. This is fantastic, I am so happy that this person finally came around. I told DH to stay as long as he needed to get things right.

So in about another hour, DH texted me and says, Joe is coming over. Oh, OK, that's cool. So I am sitting in the living room and hear DH come in the house. Again he shows Joe and his girlfriend into the family room and tells Joe that he has Christmas gifts for him, that we had got years ago. So I go into the kitchen and stand there a minute - maybe I should have said hello, maybe I should have said something, but I chose not too. After a minute, DH did not acknowledge me so I go back into the living room and continue watching Breaking Bad. About an hour later, DH gives his complimentary house tour and then comes into the living room and says...oh and this is my wife JoAnn. I smile and say, hello, it's been a long time. I haven't seen you since you were four. DH takes him back into the family room and I continue to watch tv.

Again, I have this little feeling of disrepect, because I grew up learning to introduce everyone first and then go and close yourself off and conduct your meeting and/or whatever it is you were going to do, but hey...that's me and I was born and raised in Oklahoma, they might do things different up here in Ohio....but NO it's just freaking Rude as hell!

So after the son leaves DH is excited, and rightly so. I am happy for him, but then he tells me that he had to give Joe gas money and he gives him $20.00. Oh really! Well, I hope that's not the only reason he wanted to patch things up, because he knows you have money. What are his ulterior motives? Then DH mentions that he thinks his son sounds like a redneck hick. I told him I agree. He sounds like he was raised in the back woods of Kentucky - no disrespect to anyone from Kentucky, but where did this come from. He dropped out of highschool a few years ago and I guess this took anything he learned away from him enter sarcasm font here.

I just kind of laughed and told my DH that I thought he was rude and disrespectful. He said how so. I said normally you introduct someone first and then go and do what you have to do and then commence with the house tour, not treat me like I'm an afterthought, that this is the living room and then oh and this is my wife - it's like you wouldn't have said anything at all if I hadn't been siting in the living room, the one room you had just walked into. And I said you did it Saturday too when your neice came over. I'm just letting you know that I feel disrespected and I think you are rude. Of course he doesn't think he's done anything wrong and he doesn't even apologize. This, this is what pisses me off. I am telling this man how I feel and why I feel that way and he's obviously the reason for it and he can't even bring himself to apologize. I just want to be single again! I hate him still today. I told him that when it comes to his POS and that family over there they are here (i had my hand up high in the air) and I feel that with your actions that you show that I am here (with my hand lower). I don't appreciate it and I won't tolerate it anymore!

And then he's all texting me this morning why didn't you wake me up. Why didn't you kiss me before you left? And I want to say...because I can shower, blow dry my hair and get dressed without waking you up...because I don't need your help to do this. I can make my own breakfast. Every Saturday this man goes to work...I have to wake him up, because he doesn't hear the alarm. Do you think I need to wake up? No...but it's OK that I do, because I'm just the wife and I don't matter! And I'm mad at myself for making him make me feel this way and it just sucks right now. I remember I would get all worked up at stuff and then go talk to my therapist about it. Afterwards I would say, wow, saying it out loud and to someone else not involved, it really doesn't sound so bad. And my therapist would say...it mattered to you! Yes, yes it does!

FRIDAY

D: chipolte burrito bowl - lots of vegetables - i did have guacamole - still very good

SATURDAY:

B; bacon, egg, biscuit, iced vanilla latte

S: cordial cherries - three

L/D: ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, pumpkin pie

SUNDAY:

B: biscuits, chocolate gravy

L/D: ham, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie

S: popcorn

MONDAY

B: iced vanilla latte

L/D: ham, turkey, cheezits

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/27/2016:
Holidays are always an emotional time. Even for me, when I go back to my parents, we fight and argue. I had our little fights and arguments but it seems we cannot move past them. Especially when my sister’s husband is away, which he was this year, there was nobody to lessen the blow of the petty fights so they were worse than usual. Just stupid arguments though – like me telling my mom not to point her finger at me like I’m a 4 yr old when in fact I’m 34. Ah, whatever…

I am glad her brother stood up for her saying she shouldn’t be punished for texting! Of course she shouldn’t – not if she’s doing it with her dad! !!! of course she should!

Love chipotle..

Don’t take offense to the people you never met. It can be hard on their end too? No worries, Joanne – don’t take any offense. Just the weird holiday season…wow you did so good for them making those appointments. You are awesome Joanne.

Awww, it seems you may have to stand up even more to your hubby. If you want things like the little bows, just say YES. or if he asks again, I would just repeat yourself. Don’t give him looks or anything to further provoke him. The bow thing is a similar type of petty fight I get into with my folks. Just small fights over little things…I know, it can be frustrating. We have the same problem in my family. Lots of these petty small fights over insignificant things. Try to move past this…DH knows you matter…he just is not good at communicating it all the time is how I see it.

You may have to just be blunt, nicely, with DH and say to him that if he brings guests into the house, you’d like to meet them straight away before he gives them a tour or hangs with them. That you like to know and meet whomever enters your house. Which you did say…ask him to try more to thank you when you do things he appreciates..

puddles on 12/27/2016:
Something as got to give DH seems to be getting more and more frustrated and certainly hope he and the little do go to the session it will be very good for them... until then hang on JoAnn there is bound to be a light at the end of that tunnel. Have a great evening.

InnerPeace - Friday Dec 23, 2016

Weight: 306.0

Much emotions going on today. Had a crazy evening with the girl and omg i just don't know. I feel so sorry for her at times. This all stems from the texts my DH received from his exwife and niece the past couple of days. We pick her up and DH starts asking her all these questions which he already knows the answers to, to get more information from her. This makes her feel uncomfortable, so she asks me why is my dad asking me all these questions? I tell her, I don't know, I'm really not sure - because I wasn't. Once we get home we eat dinner and then when DH goes to take a shower she just starts a tell all session.

The girl tells me that her brother, Joe's girlfriend, Brittany and her grandma were arguing. Of course I ask why. She says because Brittany was trying to talk Joe into getting his ears pierced. The girl says Joe told her NO at least twenty times and she just kept on pestering him, when finally the grandma stepped in and told Brittany to let it go. Next chaos ensues arguing back and forth. There was something about Joe getting a tattoo as well.

I just tell the girl that these are personal decisions and before this bodily adornment is persued that her brother or anyone should think about how it will affect their future. Like if the tattoo is visible during an interview and/or where the piercing(s) are placed, because if they are visible it could affect the first impression if trying to find a job in the future. And then I said, please don't get a tattoo on your face or neck, I think it looks trashy and you might have issues when finding a job unless you want to work at Chipolte, because OMG do you see all the weird hair, face piercings and tattoos all those workers have? She just laughted. I do have a tattoo that is on my calf and can be covered if needed and it is by no means offensive to anyone.

Then she gets into the meat of what has been really going on and why DH received the crazy texts he received. The girl has told her grandma that she would prefer to live with her dad. Well the grandma apparently told her mother (DH's ex) and then her mother starts telling the girl some crazy stuff, that we (her dad and I) only do things with her to 'buy' her. She said all the things we do, like go to plays, the the library crafts and hikes will all stop if she comes and lives with us. I'm like what? She said mom told me that if I come over here everything we do will stop. That you guys need your alone time and I will just be sent to my grandma's house so not to get in your way. OMG is this for real.

I tell her that, this is totally not correct. That we do things when she is not with us and we would even be at the library more if she were, because on the days they have stuff she would be interested in, she is with her mom and we don't go because she isn't with us. There was a nail painting class I know she would have loved, but I didn't register her because she was at her mom's. I told her we would do more but I have to schedule the events when you are with us and this would no way change because i want her to experience all kind of things.

I told her the only thing I knew how to do when I graduated highschool was type and that is why I joined the military. I type, ergo I work in an office. I want her to experience as much stuff as she can so maybe, just maybe she will have an interest to do something when she graduates...not stay in Lorain county, Ohio for the rest of her life. I think she understands.

She also told me her step dad was going to throw her out of the house if she kept texting her dad. I guess they are just very insecure over there! This is why DH was getting the scew ball texts he was getting because they people over there are whack jobs. I know she was felling pretty down and confused. I will probably get her into counseling after the new year.

This makes me sad, she goes upstairs and takes a shower and I am telling DH about our conversation and this p!sses him off. I told him, I am tellig you this in confidence, I'm not telling you this for you to go and give her the third degree about anything. We were sitting at the table eating and she chose not to bring all this up until you left the room and I don't want to lose her trust, but I wanted him to know what she is dealing with at her mom's house.

This all takes a toll on me. This is making my life harder than it needs to be and sometimes it hurts to move.

Wednesday pork chops were taken out. I did not want pork chops. We stopped at BK on the way home and got burgers. I had a BK Jr. Whopper, it was okay, but then I taste again and/or burp up the awesome smoke flavoring or whatever it is they use for the rest of the night, which is YUCK!

D: again...not ready for the pork chops. This is the night we have planned to pick up the honey baked ham, so we do that. We come out with the honey baked ham, turkey breast and then go to Boston Market for dinner.

I had a half of a small chicken with pototoes and mac and cheese. DH gets the same chicken with green beans and then a broccoli, cauliflower medley. I was looking at his plate compared to mine and I should have chose his sides, but I opted for the carb route - I will change this in the furture.

Now today is Friday - still having the feels from Wednesday. I get to leave work early and DH will pick up the girl and bring her home. We are having Christmas tomorrow because the girl goes back to her mom's at 10:00 am. Christmas morning for all the fun there! And the pork chops still need to be cooked.

B: yogurt, iced vanilla latte

S: pretzel pieces and then we had a team building exercise and I had to eat a piece of peanut butter fudge - I don't know the rest of the day, hopefully I'll make good choices.

I hope you all have a drama free and a very, merry Chirstmas!

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

puddles on 12/23/2016:
Wow what a terrible household to grow up in. The only grace in that is her escape to your place for a break but in the end she must return to the crazy house. I will keep her in my prayers no child should have to be tortured mentally and emotionally that way.

grannyannie on 12/23/2016:
So sorry the poor girl is going through hell at her house. Hope you and her dad can balance it out for her.

Donkey on 12/24/2016:
This sounds so stressful for you. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you --- for everyone involved. I hope that some peaceful resolution can come out of this.

Hope you have a Merry Christmas too!

Horn_of_plenty on 12/27/2016:
InnerP, stay strong lady. Btw, you may "only know how to type," but by reading your entries and also what you wrote about the tattoos and piercings and how you responded to the girl, you are a very, very smart lady. If you had been given more opportunity, I could see you as a teacher for sure...or any other profession that is not only typing. YOu have so many talents in the arts & crafts and how you think and balancing your family well. You are a nurturer.

YOu must also take care of yourself too :-) Which I know you are working on. With walking and eating and taking the time to care for you.

Little girl loves you and that's why she shares with you. She's so lucky to have you!

InnerPeace - Wednesday Dec 21, 2016

Weight: 306.0

So comfort zone has been totally compromised! Last week I was given a list of retirees to call and invite to our office Christmas Luncheon. First off, I don't do phones. Every call I get, especially if I don't know who is calling, goes straight to voice mail. That is right, if I don't know you or don't know that you are calling me, I do not answer the phone. At work this is a bit different, I do answer the phones because...well that is my job. So when I was cold calling these people, because I don't know them, I was severely uncomfortable. I got through the first person but the second one I called had passed away about two weeks prior. It was so hard to listen to this man's wife tell me how bad he was before he passed. I didn't know the man and all I could do was keep telling her I was sorry for her loss...so uncomfortable. So now, here I sit waiting for all these people to show up for this luncheon, not my ideal situation.

I always find myself waiting for a particular day to start something, next Monday, next month, after Christmas, after New Year's whatever the date it as failed to arrive again. I have scheduled zumba, yoga and hikes for January and February and I will do my best to go to all these scheduled events. The best part they are all free all I have to do is show up. I will see how this goes.

Tonight we have the girl, DH took porkchops out and said he was grilling again. Great i guess. I think I'm sick of pork for now. Found a recipe for cauliflour fried rice (no rice just the califlower) will try this over the weekend.

B: yogurt, iced vanilla latte

L: stuff from the lucheon

D: pork chops and something for now.

S: pretzel pieces - I already ate these

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/21/2016:
Hey, i think you are taking it too much to heart this being on the phone thing at work and contacting old (and deceased, oops!) retired workers. Please don't feel bad for things that aren't of your knowing or doing. You did what you could. Move on from it and don't take it to heart as you are only doing your job of which i am sure you are good at. Don't let it get to you. You do your work and that's it. Try not to let it affect your emotions this way. but i do understand the one situation you mentioned, of course.

as long as you contact them and make a list somehow as to who can come, that's it. the rest is not in your hands.

as for your activities, i like planning things too. this is good. I hope the weather works out for the hikes, etc. Good planning. and if something comes up, it comes up. Dont' feel bad. it's hard for anyone to go to everything! pick and choose. that's how you do it. that's life - i've learned to (MUCH MORE OFTEN NOW THAT I"M OLDER a bit at 34 compared to 28 for instance) that picking and choosing is mandatory. I have come to realize, especially when things work related are optional - like a union meeting - that i can try to go to them often, but if it's not working out one time, like if i really need to go to the gym the same night and couldn't reschedule, then, i miss the meeting. it's ok sometimes to not do what "you are supposed to do."

I've ALWAYS wanted to try the cauliflower fried rice...you have to let me know how you do it so that it's not completely totally soggy. You already seem to have a knack at making good mashed cauliflower...how do you get it not to be too soupy or too soggy? i made it one time, in a strong blender and blended the cauliflower too much into a soup consistency.

puddles on 12/22/2016:
I love the cauliflower rice I have never done it a fried rice but often make it as a regular steam rice and I swear to God I have hard time telling the difference between real rice and cauliflower. The only thing is to make sure I catch it before I over cook it so that there is still a little bit of a crunch. Have a great day.

InnerPeace - Tuesday Dec 20, 2016

Weight: 306.0

Picked up DH and made it home. He grilled chicken outside in 15 degree weather! It was good. I ate about 2/3 of a piece of chicken and ate the leftover cauliflower and parsnip mash and a tossed salad. Late for a snack I ate some pretzel pieces.

After dinner I finally finished the ornaments for work. They are clear plastic ornamnets I put $1 instant scratch off tickets (one could win $5,000), confetti for decoration and another small gift that would fit and a fun size candy. They look fantastic!

Tonight I have to make a banana pudding for work, we have our party (lucheon) tomorow so will have to choose wisely at lunch time. I scrapped the cookie idea, I just don't feel like spending that much time on it.

Today at work the electronic technicans gave me a $50 gift card to the Cheesecake Factory for Christmas. Not sure about this...like I need cheesecake. I also helped clean out the nasty refrigerator for tomorrow's food and splashed spoiled milk all over me. I'm still gagging over the smell. It is so disgusting.

B: Fage yogurt

L: ham, cheese sandwich, banana, pretzels

S: balanced breaks

D: left over chicken and something

87 days left to Oklahoma trip!.

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

jayhawkjen on 12/20/2016:
Cute idea on the ornaments! Kudos to our husband for grilling in this weather. I love to grill year-round as well.

Your dinner sounds really, really good. I would eat it up in a heartbeat! Kudos to your hubby for grilling outside in the cold, what a major trooper he is! Wow. I do not think even my own dad, a trooper too!, would be out there grilling in that degree of chill. So chilling!

Your ornament idea is very creative, just like you are. You are def a creative woman with both cooking ideas and arts projects always. You did great, InnerP.

By the way, if you ever are interested, I bet your coworkers would also like your healthy dishes or dishes like the mashed parsnip / cauliflower healthy mix. If you brought it in, I’d ask you a thousand times this: “Really, there’s only cauliflower and parsnip!?” and I’d take a nice amount after you set me straight for the 100th time that there’s no potato! Potato is good, but I’d be thrilled it wasn’t in there! !! haha…

Have you ever been to the cheesecake factory!? There’s healthy food! I was just there for the first time a very long time this past weekend. I ordered something very healthy. With a few extras, I think the bill for us came out to $28 per person and that’s based on major portions for 3 people along with 2 extra sides for me and an appetizer. So, without the sides and appetizer, it may have been around $25 per person. Not bad. Probably perfect for you to go with hubby.!!!!!!!!!

You can get salad dressing on the side.

Everything else is higher cal, but, everything is tasty. You can even maybe share you dishes – you and hubby each have half of the others … ask for extra plate or two…don’t waste that gift certificate…its good food.

innerpeace on 12/21/2016:
Thanks for the ideas. I have decided to use this gift card when I return from my Oklahoma trip. I have scheduled hikes, zumba and yoga for the months of January and February. These are all free - zumba and yoga at the library and the hikes with the metro parks - I just have to be motivated enough to go and do it!

Thursday night we got the girl and went home to our burnt pork roast in the crock pot. Who knew this wold burn, well it says eight hours on low, we kept it in there for 12, not intentionally that's just how the day rolls. We still ate it though! Pork roast, green beans. The girl finished the Christmas tree. We found out we have lots and lots of ornaments and I want to go the day after Christmas and buy some more??? They are things I want.

Friday I slept until 8:30 and then I got up and washed dishes. I watched TV and played with my dog and then took a shower. Once DH got home we went to the Chinese buffet. I hate vegetables and a few chicken (chicken and brocolli and thai chicken) it was just a little. I did finish off dinner with a cup of ice cream, which I saw again later that night, because apparently my stomach does not like Chinese food with ice cream.

Saturday I was up with DH, who went to work, I went to Wal-Mart at 6:30 in the morning, looking for an air fryer for DH for Christmas. I looked all over that store and couldn't find one. I ordered it online, hopefully I will get it before Christmas. I got home and scrubbed the shower. DH works with the furnace and brings soot home and I have black crap all over the shower. This must be scrubbed weekly or it gets almost impossible to get off. I also stripped the bed and laundered all the sheets and blankets. I cooked a meatloaf for dinner. I also tried parsnips for the first time. They are really sweet and nutty. I boiled them and smashed them with some cauliflower which was very tasty and we also and a mixed salad - so pretty good for the day.

Sunday was up and as usual did the crossword puzzle, watched a few episodes of Law and Order and started laudry. DH went shopping. He does his thing, I do mine. Today though, somehow, he manages to get into a texting argument with his ex. He says he received a text from his ex telling him that she is sick of his sh*t and texting their daughter. and he needs to stop and yayaya! I read all the texts there is nothing there about anything! She is a psycho person. Later that night, he gets a text from the ex's neice asking him if she can bring the girl's Christmas and birthday girt to our house because she is not getting on with her aunt (DH's ex) right now. I tell you this family thrives off all this drama. DH wants to then try to start sh*t with me and I won't have it.

B: asiago bagel, cream cheese, iced vanilla latte

L: asiago bagel (these were so good)

D: steak, brocolli, salad

I tell him every time that his ex knows how to push all his buttons and then he comes home and snaps at me. Well guess what...she wins again. I can't understand how he can still let this blow how upset him. I told him if he is still so angry about it, he really needs to go talk to someone because I didn't appreciate taking the brunt of his crap. After dinner we or I wrapped all the Christmas presents and got my son's box ready to mail to him. It will be late for Christmas but he expected that.

So tonight I will finish the work ornaments and get them on the tree before Wednesday's work party. Still up in the air about making cookies or not - it seems like such a lot of work. Will think more on that today because I also need to make a side dish or dessesrt for Wednesday as well. Pretty much sick of Christmas and it's not even here yet.

B: Chiboni blue berry crumble yogurt, vanilla iced latte

L: salad (lettuce, tomato, cheese shreds, ham, ranch) banana

S: balanced breaks

D: chicken is out

Have a great evening!

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 12/20/2016:
Yay! I'm glad girlie helped you with the tree. ...I have friends that LOVE all holidays and send our cards even on Halloween! And they don't have kids - they are grown-up "kids." So, they love ornaments like you do - and always buy more & more :) That's also something I give them as presents. I think they don't have much space for magnets anymore. Speaking of, are you also a magnet collector? For your fridge?

Lol....your food at Chinese Buffet sounds great! I'm laughing bc the same great friends that collect - well - they asked me to go to a Chinese buffet last friday but i opted that we go to a sit-down place instead bc it was late and already at a lot that day....i do like a buffet for brunch, late lunch though...especially when it has veggies. we have a good place like 30 min from me with no traffic - tons...even good fish. i'm glad you enjoyed :) I think Chinese uses a lot of oil? and yeah it's prob not a good mix to top with dairy after. I doubt you are the only one that feels that way :)

What an awesome idea for a change of pace and probably healthier / lower cal mashed potatoes! You rock. I went to a wedding for another very good friend of mine - and well - she served mashed parsnips instead of potatoes and i thought she rocked that! When i tasted it, i was like, this is great! Nice to see you also serving salad. I am so lazy to chop veggies...sorta sad lol. I eat mostly cooked ones.

What an annoying dramatic ex. That's so frustrating to deal with - dramatic people are difficult, yes. Sometimes I am dramatic...good to remember how the receiving side takes it !

Try to keep your head up and remember that other people have their issues and they are not yours to have...meaning, she's got problems, not you personally although she is def bothering with you.

You always do good work, stay positive because you've done so great so far, InnerP.

jayhawkjen on 12/20/2016:
Ah, clean sheets! They are my favorite. Sorry for all the family drama.

InnerPeace - Thursday Dec 15, 2016

Weight: 306.0

Yesterday I forwarded DH and email about recliners on sale, so afterwork we decided to go look at them for his Christmas present. His recliner, no longer reclines. The latch that he lifted to raise the foot part is broken and it is now just a chair. He said he wasn't going to buy another chair with a latch so we were looking at ones with just handles, he couldn't find one he liked. So that was a bum trip. I pick up a few stocking stuffers and saw a bag of hostess donettes - hot chocolate flavored - WHAT? I couldn't resist and picked up the bag. For dinner we stopped at McDonald's for reasons I can't explain! I ate a quarter pounder and a hand ful of fries and drank a diet coke. Oh I also had a holiday pie - some custard filling, because again - reasons! I'm lazy, I'm addicted to fast food and other stuff oh, yeah, it tastes good.

We get home (and prior to me reading HOP's response) we sorta/kinda decorated the Christmas Tree. It is not finished by a long shot and will finish this maybe tonight or not. We also opened the bag of donettes and OMG these were the best tasting things ever. I had three.

Went to bed about 10:15 and I slept so good. I think I sleep better when I am cool rather than when warmer. I woke up and was ready to go when the alarm went off. DH said he woke up and was up at 2:30, I did not hear him get up and I didn't feel him leave the bed - this is the kind of sleep I like.

On the way to work we ran into a freakin' blizzard. Couldn't see the road and couldn't tell if I was in a lane or not. Felt like I was driving in a true snow globe that was on automatic shake. It was very nerve wracking to say the least. And then, And THEN stupid drivers want to drive with their hazard lights on. I've never seen this done except for here and this confuses me. I learned only to use hazard lights if you are going slower than the other traffic and are a 'hazard to them' or when you are broke down on the side of the road, not when everyone is going 8 miles per hour. Anyway, stupid people, when your hazard lights are on...your turn signal does not work! Hello, stupid people who want to run over in my lane and cut me off with no warning! DH and I discussed this loudly! Anyway, I normally get to work at 7:35-7:40, today I arrived at 8:30 and was super bummed! I requested 30 minutes of vacation time to make up for my lateness and I am also leaving early. I refuse to deal with this crap tomorrow so I requested tomorrow off as well. So glad i'm not essential personnel! And I always enjoy a three day weekend!

B: donettes, iced vanilla latte

L: ham and cheese sandwich, cheetos, gummy fruit

S: 1/2 peanut butter sandwich

D: pork roast - cooked in crock pot, baked beans or something

Tomorrow I have great plans to clean the house - i'm laughing at myself, because I'm pretty sure I won't get out of my pjs!

Have a great day! IP

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 12/15/2016:
Ack! Hate driving in snow, especially a blizzard. Many people drive like idiots in snow!

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2016:
yep, 3-day weekend over here too! I totally could have gone to work - but sleeping in & leaving early didn't seem to be a good idea if i were to go to work (to be late in morning & then leave early!) so i took the day!

OMG yes stupid to put on hazards if everyone is going slow and then you can't signal.

I have also driven during very bad road conditions and yes it's very scary and stressful. I'm so glad you are ok....

Don't worry about your indulgences in eating, we all indulge. just don't do this sorta thing EVERYDAY. i like the taste of all things you mentioned too...but i try to have things similar (like the chips i like that say i can eat 40 of them for 130 cal) anyways similar things but save on calories.

you did darn good. enjoy your day off. i could have saved my day also - but so wasn't worth saving. now i can have a great time at party tonight & not have to also attend work. LOL. worth it.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2016:
oh, i hope you will be able to find a good recliner soon!

jayhawkjen on 12/16/2016:
Only three donettes! Well done. I love those things, especially the powdered sugar ones.

On the days we pick up the girl, from the time I leave work, get DH and then get the girl and get home I am in the car for 2.0 hours. I hate this! I get aggravated and irritated at the traffic. Sometimes I really wonder about the benefit of carpooling and my sanity. DH has issues driving or I would push on him a little to drive himself on the days she is at the house, this would save at least 1.0 hour in the car.

We did stop at Subway on the way home. They ate and showered and then left to go to the library for the ornament craft. It was a peaceful hour. I washed dishes and was trying to get motivated to finish decorating the tree but it just has lights on it still. The girl left at 8:15. It was only 13 degrees out so I didn't walk my dog.

Last night I woke up at 11:45, 12:15 and again at 2:00. I got up and stayed up until 3:30, but when I tried to go back to sleep, I couldn't. I just know that the thirty minutes I spent pushing the snooze button every nine minutes, I did not want to get up, go figure!

I registered DH and I for an adult craft tonight, but this is getting canceled. This library is right on the lake and that is one place I do not want to be when it is 13 degrees. Maybe I will finish the tree and wrap some things, who knows.

B: yogurt, iced vanilla latte

S: 1/2 peanut butter sandwich

L: ham and cheese sandwich, cheetos

S: baby bell cheese

D: something with pork roast

I bought some parsnips I am going to try tonight. I also bought zuchini to try with my new zoonoodle. I also want to try and make a home made black bean burger to bring with me for lunch. I am tired of lunch meat and sandwiches.

Work is slow, makes for long days. Have a great night! IP

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

jayhawkjen on 12/14/2016:
Christmas is so stressful! Take care of yourself. xo

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/14/2016:
Hello IP! It’s me, your fellow Office Worker lady! !! Lol, So I took off last Friday & now I’m taking off this Friday as well!!! I also get aggravated at the traffic (mostly in AM as the traffic is better in PM by me bc I deal with school busses in AM but when I leave in the evening, the busses are already done dropping off the kiddos!).

I think you SHOULD look into carpooling! I doubt you are the only woman that has a kid that would like to carpool! I remember I carpooled one time for a few months I think? – when I was a kid! The reason it wasn’t more is because I preferred to walk to school. For me, school was only around ½ mile away (junior high and high school!). And elementary school was like ¼ mile away only! My parents chose that location purposely I think!

I am thinking to ask DH to take bus but then I remember he has some health issues – so that doesn’t sound very reasonable at all. nevermind that suggestion…

I love Subway too. Time to time. Do you get the flatbreads? Do you have that option by you? I love the taste of those flatbreads and prefer them to the hero bread (I prefer the flat one to the fluffy one!). We have two options – a white bread and a whole wheat flatbread at our Subways here in Queens, NY area…

I think you should decorate the tree as an activity with girlie! Show her what it’s all about and get her help. Do NOT do it yourself, IP! It’s like another craft….do it with the girl! That’s my suggestion! Sorry you aren’t sleeping too well…try to get more sleep at least on weekends – that’s what I’m doing & also why I’m taking Friday off. It’ll be 25 degrees here too – but – I am still going to attempt going walking at the park – I’ll have to dress warm and with a long jacket & hood for sure. Well, I’m also taking Friday off bc I’m going to be out late – which is why I’m taking that day off in general. Got enough going on – don’t need to be at work also :-D

Your snack of ½ peanut butter sandwich sounds like an excellent snack…my sister used to eat that for lunch just over 10 yrs ago when she was commuting to college my dad would make it for her to take on the train to her school in NYC! Lol. I have such a generous dad who loves doing for others…a bit too much for his own good!

When I have only liquids for breakfast, I don’t get full. Do you get full ? then again, it’s a nice light breakfast. So nevermind, especially if you are sipping the coffee over the morning, then a yogurt and coffee is indeed a great snack. Good calories. Decent protein. Just no fiber….but in general I’d say your breakfast is great. do you do regular yogurt or greek? I forget if you answered? The snack of cheese is excellent, a great snack. It hits the spot and a nice mix of protein / light fat. Good job.

Dinner sounds wonderful hopefully you have some veggies to add in….if you look at my dinners, they are quite funny these days like light ice cream or a protein muffin…I generally get MORE of my veggies in at lunch rather than dinner bc I tend to feel that dinner bloats me up in the AM? That’s just me…

Also, I’m glad you are sick of your sandwiches. I like a change of pace once in awhile too. Lately, I’m into having some potatoes (starchy carb) in with my lunches bc it’s settling my stomach especially this time of month lol.

Hope you don’t mind me talking about myself it seems that’s what I’ve learned to do here. I like to compare my experiences to experiences in your entries and others here on DD and like to give advice based on my own opinions & experiences! : )

innerpeace on 12/15/2016:
I read this after we decorated the tree - it isn't finished but we did alot. I always appreciate your suggestions, and I don't mind you talking about yourself - don't change.

innerpeace on 12/15/2016:
I read this after we decorated the tree - it isn't finished but we did alot. I always appreciate your suggestions, and I don't mind you talking about yourself - don't change.

grannyannie on 12/14/2016:
Hope you get better sleep tonight. Christmas can be stressful. Agree a bigger breakfast is a good idea, and prevents mid morning snacking.

InnerPeace - Tuesday Dec 13, 2016

Weight: 306.0

DH didn't work on Monday - lucky him. Something about no work and they didn't want to start up the second furnace. I'm not sure, but he stayed home. I worked.

Once home, we ate left overs, the beef tips and noodles and cauliflower. I walked me dog in the freezing cold, but he wanted to go. He wore his little coat, but his feet still get cold. I ate a yogurt for dessert.

I put up the Christmas tree and hung hte lights, but that is as far as I got. I wanted to watch The Voice and will be excited to see who wins, but I can't watch it tonight. I didn't even do dishes, so I will get them down once I get home tonight. We have to get the girl. I have enrolled her in a craft class at the library to make a Christmas ornament. DH said he would take her and I will get the tree finished - maybe, but definately wash dishes - I hate leaving them in the sink - this is the first time in years.

Tonight we are eating the subway again, because of her class. I will be very selective scheduling more classes in the winter, it is hard to get her fed before her mother comes and gets her back.

B: yogurt, iced vanilla latte

L: ham sandwich, cheese, cheetos

S: baby bell cheese

D: subway

I talked to my son and he is unable to come up for Christmas. His wife is flying to Canada because her brother-in-law is dying of kidney failure, so she is going up there to be with her sister. I told him we will still send his Christmas stuff by Friday so at least they can enjoy it once she returns. I miss that kid!

Have a great evening! IP

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/13/2016:
It must be really cold by you for him not to go to work bc they don't want to use a 2nd furnace. That doesn't happen here in NYC areas.! Maybe only for workers that do outdoors work if it's too cold they may not work.

Dinner sounds nice. I like the mix of noodles / meat / cauliflower. That should be very satisfying!

What type of yogurt to you like? Do you eat the greek? It's very satisfying - thicker and lower sugar. I many times by plain flavor in 2% and if i want it sweeter, I will add liquid stevia / cinnamon or sugar free preserves. I recently found BLUEBERRY sugar free preserves = so so so tasty! the best!

I love those talent shows. Whether it be dance or singing or acting. it's always so amazing the talent some folks have....

i know the wraps are good, but you can always have salads at subway and have a bag of chips too (chips instead of bread and extra veggies in salad....to fill you...) just an idea...

innerpeace on 12/15/2016:
He is a heat treater - he heat treats car parts for auto makers. this is a heat treat furnace, not an actual heater for the staff. They only fire up one furnace if they are short work. Depending on shipping and delivery of work.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/13/2016:
ps - she looks like she's wearing makeup - she has a nice complexion!

Long busy weekend. Friday we went to the play, it started at 7:30 and when we left at 10:15 there was four inches of snow on the ground. When I was leaving I backed into a parked car that was parked behind me. The drive home was crazy and nerve wracking. The closer we got home the less snow there was so that was a plus. The play was good, the costumes were phenomenal and we all enjoyed it.

Saturday we were up early to drive to Toledo, it's something we do each year. We arrived right at 9:00 am and was in line to get our photo taken with Santa. We shopped some and then headed to Sandusky for lunch and more shopping. Once home DH and the girl went to pick up her cake while I decorated. She opened her presents and we ate cake, then we watched one of her birthday presents, The BFG. We were all asleep before ten. I slept good this night, no wake ups.

B: bacon, egg, biscuit

L: meat loaf, mac and cheese, salad, cottage cheese (lunch at Ryan's)

S: bacon jerky

S: piece of birthday cake

Sunday I was up and started laundry. Played aloton the ipad and phone. Thought about putting up the Christmas Tree but that didn't happen.

B: bagel with cream cheese, iced vanilla latte

L: toast

D: beef tips and noodles, cauliflower

S: yogurt, 2 fun size m&m

Finished laundry, tried to watch CLE Browns play, but am sick of their losing, listened to the girl blab and blab about her birthday and friends. I was sad to see her go at 6:00. We will see her again Tuesday.

Here is our picture from Bass Pro.

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 12/12/2016:
The Browns should have stayed on the Ground. RG3's passing game was a joke. Nice picture. Just the way I imagined you guys.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/12/2016:
Great photo of the 3 of you. You and little girl are very pretty. She has such a beautiful face! I hope she knows that! Is she wearing makeup?

I know that she's not your biological daughter but bc you have similar glasses on and maybe similar styles, you look alike in this pic. Hubby looks good too :-)

I love how you are into the arts weather it be performing arts or arts and crafts! I think it's really wonderful. I am less of a crafty person, but def enjoy the performing arts. I try to see performances especially when they are free. I may go to one at the library this weekend bc its free and the concerts are generally extremely good.

innerpeace on 12/13/2016:
Thank you! We wear no make up, me hardly ever and she says yuck for now...I told her to wait a few years.