10.14.2008

Drowning in questionsGod, I have so many questions.Like, why did you drown all of those people?And if you drowned them, why don’t you ruptureTuttle Dam and drown me also? Surely I’m more evil than them and condemn this whole town? Or perhaps your anger was quenched the first time?Did Noah really sin less than them? Why would you save animals over people? Or could it be that people had become animals?If so, I am an animal that can’t swim.And I am drowning. And I should.I am evil.And I should have been born in the time of the flood.Before Jesus.Before mercy?Before Grace?Before your anger was quenched?God, I have so many questions.Like why are some sent a floodand others a Savior?

Only the past, the whole past,presents itself here; Moredangerous than the burningchemicals I inhale, more beautiful than second handsmoke-

As I lay, I think of howmany others are doing the samething; Failing to live in the present knowing there is a future- How many others are feelingthis first chill that forgets fall,stinging like winter- Howmany others stars are collapsingas they hope to God, speakingin smoke signals-