A novelist and writing teacher tells the truth--sordid, sad, silly, and otherwise--about writing fiction and the writing life.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Across a Crowded Room

QUESTION: I have a scene in a restaurant where staff is coming and going. How do I describe that? Do I mention all the movement?

This is really about viewpoint. You are describing the scene from your viewpoint character's perspective. What will she see?

Imagine this. You are in your favorite romantic restaurant. Across from you is your special someone or your favorite sexy actor. You are eating your meal, flirting, and talking. Would you be aware of who is coming in and out of the room?

Your character in a similar situation would do the same thing.

Imagine this. You are in that restaurant with that sexy lover, but someone wants to kill you.

You would be very aware of who is coming and going in the room, and so would your viewpoint character.

If it's a situation that's emotionally neutral like a banquet meal with servants coming and going to bring food, you can say something like "A steady stream of servants, each with a large tray of food or an empty bowl, moved through the room tending the tables."

Then, unless there's a reason to mention the servants again, or a servant again, you don't mention them. The reader will fill in the visual blanks.

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Marilynn Byerly’s writing passion is adventure stories in the past, present, and future. In her creations of adventurers, suspense, true love, and villains to vanquish, she also likes to add a dash of the unexpected.

"Affaire de Coeur" named her an outstanding achiever in romance, and her novels have won numerous awards including a Sapphire, the National Reader's Choice Award, and the Write Touch Award.

TEACHER

Marilynn has taught writing, judged numerous national and regional writing contests, reviewed books, and written articles on writing which have appeared in trade publications, national magazines, and writing websites.