Intelligent NBA commentary from the two biggest basketball fans on the planet.

December 11, 2007

Hey Shaq, Be Careful What You Wish For

By Craig Kwasniewski

Write what you see … because apparently I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Are you really sure you want that? Really? RE-AL-LY????

I read that quote in the Daily Dime's Soliloquy about Miami's 117-113 win over Phoenix last night. I guess now that the have officially "turned their season around" the obvious question comes to mind: Where's the championship parade? Will they drop a banner now that they sit 6-15 and dead last in the weaker Eastern Conference? Did Shaq break out a "can you dig it????" in the lockerroom celebration? Was it truely a 15-Strong type of victory for the Heat and Pat Riley's immense ego?

Anyway, with criticism coming down on him from all directions, Shaq went retro for Heritage Week and broke out his anti-Kobe favorite, "Write what you see."

Okay Shaq, you asked for it:

I see a fat, lazy, old, tired, out-of-shape, overrated, on-the-decline, pompous, fat, errogant, slow, average, fat, lazy, limited, angry basketball center that does not take responsibility for his own actions. (Did I mention that he was fat?)

Feel free to say "I'm full" at the dinner table. Shaq's too old to play himself into shape during the first half of the season. The only way he can play at the level of play we're used to is by getting into top physical shape with a strict off-season routine... like Zo Mourning. And we all know that will never happen.

Here's something to consider: how valuable is an NBA championship? Would you be willing to go through 4 or 5 years of hell after winning a title? (After the threepeat of a few years ago, I'd say hell yes.)

BUT are Heat fans satisfied with a roster of Rickey Davis, Mark Blount, Smush Parker, Old/Broken Anfernee Hardaway, Old/Lazy Shaq and Wade? Season ticket holders have a right to be pissed.

So Shaq may be up 1-0 since '04, but the Heat are decades away from another title.

how many times do the Spurs have to win the championship to get respect? How many of their players have to win international championships? I know you guys are Mav's fans but come on! Give respect where its