Easy. Retract your claws. Read a few lines and then see if maybe you want to punch me.

So there they were, Wiig and Rudolph (and McCarthy, yes, but put a pin in that for one second). Bridesmaids is, if not the biggest movie of the year, certainly the biggest movie story. Right? There’s no question.

Kristen Wiig looked like the ‘I’m being tidy’ version of herself. Boring but very I-am-super-thin dress, dark non-Gilly hair. Sure, okay. And Rudolph – who I’m sorry, really did just throw in the towel with that gown – the only time we saw her was clapping for Octavia Spencer. Which I said last night, and I”ll say again, was a weird choice by the director.

So there they are, and Bridesmaids was nominated but did not win, and for all the goddamn lip service about how great it is that women get to be funny now, they didn’t say a damn word. Really? It was more important for Piper Perabo to present and not Kristen Wiig?

“Well, Melissa McCarthy did.” Sure, Melissa McCarthy did, with barely a mention of the movie she was in, or even cracking a smile. Seriously?

Put your money where your mouth is, Hollywood. Or are you too afraid of funny women when they don’t have a script you’ve preapproved?