A Space Somewhere in My Heart

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Monthly Archives: July 2015

Sometimes I am too concern about others. Without I realise I have annoyed them badly.

Sometimes I think too much about others. Without I realise I have hurt myself badly.

Sometimes I care about others too much. Without I realise I have forgotten about myself at all

Sometimes I manage others and ensure I never fail their wants and needs. Without I realise I have messed up myself badly

Sometimes I work hard.. too hard.. to help others to chase their dreams. But this time I realise I never forget my dreams in fact am chasing my dream at the same time. Their faces that full of satisfaction are my ultimate dream And yes I deserve to see their bright faces.. and their happiness.. To know theyre happy, that makes me happy..

and I think…

It’s ok, if they hate me because I have annoyed them badly for good reasons.

It’s ok, if I have hurt myself to see them smile and happy.

It’s ok, if I don’t take a good care of myself so long they are in a good care

It’s ok, if I cudn’t manage myself just because I was too busy managing them

And it is ok to not have “ME” anywhere in my heart because my “ME” place is in others’ heart

With that,

I AM SORRY FOR BEING MYSELF. I AM SORRY FOR BEING TOo CONCERN ABOUT YOU. I AM SORRY FOR THINKING TOO MUCH ABOUT YOU. I AM SORRY FOR WORKING TOO HARD TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.

BELIEVE ME, I ONLY CARE ABOUT MYSELF IF I CARE ABOUT YOU. ALLOW ME TO BE SOMEWHERE IN YOUR HEARTs..

If you feel betrayed and being hurt by your own family members, fret not. Remember, the story of our Prophet Yusuf a.s, when he was betrayed by his own brothers.

If your parents or anyone that you loved, go against you when you are on the right path, fret not, as our Prophet Ibrahim a.s was thrown in to the fire by his own father

If you are in a big trouble and it seems to be no solutions to your problems, wipe your tears and fret not, remember the story of Prophet Yunus (Jonah) a.s who was trapped in the belly of whale

If you are sick and your whole body is in so much pain, fret not, as Prophet Ayyub a.s was very ill and had terrible sores all over his body and even lost his family.

If you think you have a lot of weaknesses, flaws, shortcomings or u feel you are imperfect, fret not, as Prophet Moosa a.s. could not communicate fluently

If you are insulted by any other human around you, fret not , as Aisyah r.a. ( wife of the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w) has been defamed and the whole city was talking about it

If you feel lonely and there is nobody to help you, fret not as Prophet Adam a.s was alone on the earth before he met Eve

If you feel that everything happens in your life is unjust and you even question why is it happening to you, fret not, as Prophet Noah a.s. was building the ark without knowing the reason he needed to do so, but he kept building it without question it.

If you are insulted by your own family members when you choose your religion and ukhrawi life instead of worldly life, fret not, and remember the story of our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w who has been isolated and disliked by his close relatives.

Subhanallah… Allahuakbar…Laila haillAllah…

Allah has created great personalities before our time, and those personalities were tested and challenged in many ways. This is to give us a lesson which we can learn when we face any tests and tribulations in our daily life. Hence, never say “ WHY ME??”

It has been more than a year … and finally I managed to seek his forgiveness through my Alia as my middleman. Since last year, I have been making doa to make things easy for me to talk to my brother. I know I couldn’t have any chance to speak to him personally to explain everything, but if I have chance to seek for his forgiveness That is more than enough already. Itu pon I boleh menangis bersyukur… if I die, I can die peacefully.

Dear My Brother,

I know you are leaving … It has been a mix feeling. Im sad that finally we are apart as brother and sister in this dunya. But at the same time I am happy that u’re leaving to take care of your mother. And indeed that is the main responsibility of a son to his mother. Alhamdulillah I’m truly happy that finally u can discharge your duty as a son. Am proud of you, brother. Im happy that I have come to the stage of redha , that our brotherhood ends for Allah Taala. I will work harder to be a better person and to be eligible for His Jannah, so I can see you and ur family in His Jannah.InsyaAllah.

My Brother,

I never forget our Ba’iah .. we will stick as brother and sister until the end and for Allah Taala. We meet and we work for Allah Taala, we do da’wah through our writings for Allah Taala, we do da’wah for our Abang to Solat ( he started to solat, just in case u dunno, Alhamdulillah), and we be apart for Allah Taala. And we should be happy for that for Allah Taala

Alia described me about you on how sad u were when she was talking to you. I could imagine your face very clearly and that hurt me. May Allah strengthen your imaan, may Allah reward you abundantly for being able to forgive me and my husband.

My Brother,

Be a good boy. Be a good son, be a good father and husband to your loved one. And the most important is be a good Muslim. May Allah ease all your issues at ur end. I pray that Allah will soften your mother’s heart to revert to Islam insyaAllah. I still remember you used to say that Islam in your country has less friction compared to my country. and truly, I pray for that everyday.. may Allah ease every issues of yours. Everyday I pray that you are happy and never give up in doing da’wah. I have a friend in my office, who also is your friend from your circle. He reminds me a lot of you. And that I never fail to make doa for you and ur family.

Lastly, send my regards to your lovely wife. I also seek for her forgiveness for all what had happened. She has right to be mad as she has less information. What I hope is just a plain forgiveness from her.