Friday, October 27, 2006

Have you ever woken up to the thought that your life is basically shit, I mean sure you’re happy when you live it moment to moment, but just take one good hard look at who you are and you’ll probably go into a state of depression.

Are you really happy with the kind of friends you’ve got?

Do you think that you could’ve done better?

What kind of life would I have had if I’d done things differently?

And just how much of a useless emotion is regret? It doesn’t solve anything and it drains energy that could be better spent trying to actually change things rather than just sitting alone sulking about it…

Technology has affected us in just about everything we do; it’s changed just about every aspect of our lives. Everything from education to transport has been changed by our constant evolution.

Not all of it is good though; let’s take communication and social interaction as an example:

New advances in technology have made communication something simple and easy, keeping in touch with dozens of friends isn’t merely possible, it’s become common but what most forms of communication these days lack is a sort of humanity between people, it’s become something emotionless, almost meaningless.

It used to be possible to understand someone by how they talked, a sly smile, a trembling of their voice, using a keyboard to talk to someone creates an emotional barrier and electronics convey words, not emotions.

What’ll become of us in the future? Will we completely fail to recognize emotions as we evolve? Or will we somehow develop something that’ll allow us to recognize emotions across great distances?

What will become of us? Will we lose our humanity and become nothing more than soulless shells, a sad reminder to what we used to be?

Friends are supposed to be there for you when you need them, they’re supposed to support you in your dreams and your ambitions and they’re supposed to tell you what’s right and what’s wrong.

Maybe that used to be true in a time before I was born because the definition of a friend has changed. We live in an age where backstabbing has become common and some might argue that it’s even become necessary in this day and age. If your friends are holding you back why let them? Wouldn’t it be better if you could just cut loose those ties that bind you?

Friends that you could actually rely on in time of need and crises are so rare they might as well not exist. What about the few those are there for you when you need them? Give them some time, they’ll change soon enough how foolish and naïve they were their whole lives, effectively turning them into something they probably thought they’d never turn into.

We live in an age that has no pity for the naïve and foolish. A world that has no need for friends, where the only thing they can do is hold you back.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

What’s the worst thing that could happen to a man? What’s worse than losing all your limbs and living the rest of your life as a cripple? What can be worse than living in the innards of a whale with only its unborn child for company? What is worse than being stuffed in a sack with a dog, a monkey and a snake while you’re slowly drowning? Is there anything worse than being eaten alive by a giant rat monkey?

Is there such a thing worse than eternal damnation? Can life get any worse after you kill your entire family in a fit of rage? Is there anything more painful than sacrificing someone you love for a few moments of life? Can life get any worse than when you’ve lost it all?

I’ve finally understood my dream; I can finally claim to understand myself. I have come to the realization that this is the future:

Fat women turn into horrible monsters whose only forms of sustenance are men, they’ll ride in on giant land whales that will fight the dragons in an eternal war. Cities will crumble as the vibrations from the giants cause earthquakes and tidal waves that will wash the planet and cleanse it for mans triumphant return. Year’s later man will join the dragons that have reclaimed the sky and finally kill the fat women and their land whales. After that a delicate peace will form between the dragons and the surviving men having grown tired at eating nothing but dead fat monster women and land whales will wish for something that tastes like chicken and will open a new restaurant chain called Dragon Flame…The dragons won’t find out that they’re the main course until it’s too late…Then years later after the world becomes a better place people will realize that because the fat monsters killed all the hot chicks life can no longer go on and half the men will turn into fairies (Not the ones with wings who live in trees). This will bring about the wrath of Balunoob the fairy that will open up a rift in time sending all the fairies back into their mother’s womb and then the sun will explode and the only survivor will be a hermaphrodite who will single handedly repopulate the earth…

Thursday, October 12, 2006

I’ve had one of the strangest dreams I can recall, I remember waking up on an island or something, I hear this strange sound and look up to see a group of jet airliners with smoke streaming behind them, it was all deathly quite until they crashed into the water…That just made no sense at all to me…

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I am just so fucking tired, I can’t go to sleep and when I do close my eyes there’s this white wolf with a paintbrush that seems to be invading my thoughts. I seriously don’t get myself. Recently I’ve felt like I just lost my manhood. If you’re wondering how that feels, let me give you an explanation: First you feel yourself becoming lighter and then your manhood (Both of them) begins to roll away from you and just before you get to it, a bunch of kids begin stepping on them with a kind of morbid glee.

I don’t know what I’m going through right now, is it denial? Is it depression? Or am I just being oversensitive to my own thoughts?

I mean could I have done things differently?Could I really have been a different person?Do I have to change my whole personality?The fault lies in you.You should’ve had the guts.Why the fuck were you such a pussy?I couldn’t help myself, I panicked…Don’t give me that shit, you’re fucking lying to yourself and you know it.So what if I am? Denial doesn’t change anything but it’s easier than dealing with the truth.So that’s what you’re fucking going to do? Run the fuck away from the truth every time it happens?No.Fucking liar…Alright, I don’t know.That’s better, now go fucking deal with it. I’m sick of bailing you out of your shit, you’re going to have to get through this without me…

Sunday, October 08, 2006

How hard is it to admit that you’ve got feelings? That you care about someone? How hard is it to tell someone how you feel about them? Why are we afraid to lay all it all out in the open? Maybe it’s because we’re afraid to show someone yourself in your weakest state ever? Why do we care about what others think about us? Why do we keep on repeating our mistakes? Why do we allow others to have a hold over us? Why do we give them the power that makes us nothing more than puppets in their hands?

Emotions suck, they assault your senses when you least expect them, taking over every waking thought, they come creeping into your mind and begin to overpower you leaving you as nothing more than a mere shell of your former self. Everything ceases to make sense, a lifetime of understanding who you are, your wall of emotions come crashing down around you smothering you in a flurry of emotions, leaving you feeling cold, drained and confused as hell. You never expect who it is either, you live your life oblivious of those feelings and they always seem to awaken within you at the worst times ever, just when you’ve thought you knew who you were, when you think life couldn’t get better…It just has to fucking happen, doesn’t it?

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Love, what is it really? A complex series of emotions linking all human beings together or is it just another myth destined to be revealed as nothing more than a series of lies.

We’re always taught to believe in love from such a young age that it seems to be more of a fairy tale covered up in rainbow colored lies and shit then something that can be proved.

I’m sure everyone has been through all of this at least once and if you haven’t just try and picture everything that I’m about to say in your mind. Every time you look into her big beautiful almond shaped eyes you see a great and positive future with her, you see yourself talking moonlit walks with her on the beach with nothing but the sand and the sound of the waves keeping you company, your hands holding each other in a gentle embrace feeling at the soft flesh of her palm. You imagine your arms wrapping themselves around her small waist, slowly pulling both your bodies together, pretty soon there’s nothing keeping you two apart as both of your sides are lightly touching and images and scenes begin to race through your mind. Should you reach out, spin her around and kiss those smooth tender lips? Or should you go for her beautiful gazelle like neck and gently slide lower until you reach her shoulders as you slowly absorb her scent while your hands seem to take a life of your own and begin to examine and map every part of her young body that they can reach and all the while you wonder about what she desires most, what you can do that will turn her all of her emotions for you into just one animalistic frenzy of desire…Hmm…Or should you just push her onto the sand, take control of the situation and finally claim her with nothing but your passion for each other as your only witness?

Actually, a more realistic situation would be one where she none of the above happens, she’s going to be late, you’re going to be scared, she’s going to be pissed at you for acting like such a wussy, she’s going to go home thinking that you’re a loser without balls and she’s going to hate herself for giving you a chance, even though everyone who actually DID seem confident turned out to be a child molester or a rapist.

Shows you how many of our instincts work out against us. Pain, Fear and Lust these three emotions are prime examples of how much of our biological programming is working against us. And the saddest thing of all is that they’re all caused by a release of chemicals in our heads, nothing less and nothing more…

All I can tell you is that people aren’t ever going to wake up to the fact that the “Bad Boys” girls are so attracted to have nothing to offer. But when you compare them to the wussies who’re too afraid to do anything, well you can guess why and based on what they’ve made their choices…If you’re going to bitch about anything, at least realize that it was most likely your fault that things didn’t go the way you wanted them to…

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Ah, Violence…Such a beautiful thing, isn’t it? I mean come on. Who hasn’t wished that they’d witness a car accident happening before their eyes? Who hasn’t wished to be in the middle of a war? Who hasn’t wanted to witness a natural disaster happening right before their very eyes? To stand right in the middle of a raging tornado, to bathe in the lava of an exploding volcano (I admit, this one might be not a very common fantasy).

How many times have you seen a violent movie? Laughed when the little kid got shot in the head? The popularity of movies such as Hostel, Running Scared, SinCity or any other movie such as those is a tribute, a kind of constant reminder to the fact that we are obsessed with corruption and violence. Anything ‘bad’ for us is what we want. I guess it’s just human nature to enjoy the suffering of others, as long as it’s not happening to us, what have we got to worry about really?