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Rest

Somehow today we managed to sleep in. Instead of being up by 04:30 we got up at 06:25. It is possible, I believe, that if someone hadn’t needed to go potty, that we may have made it to 07:00!

In our house this is a huge issue! One of our much-loved four-footed family members as what we refer to as a pre-sunrise bladder. For some reason this member needs to get up and go outside just before the sun starts to rise. And after he gets up, he isn’t interested in going back to sleep. He wants to play, or snuggle in the rocking chair, or investigate with his four-footed friend.

This results in everyone being woken up to soft woofs, and whines. These don’t stop until everyone is out of bed and in starting the day. I know, especially if you are a night owl, that this may not sound like a great start to the day, but who can resist tail wags and happy doggie dancing? Some how when this starts a morning, it makes me heart smile.

But today there wasn’t a wet nose, whine or woof to wake us up at 04:30. And so we slept. Well to be honest we both woke up, but heard two dogs snoring so we decided to go back to sleep for a bit. Those woofs, whines and wet noses made their presence known at 07:00. At which point Beloved and I wondered if both dogs were feeling okay. It appeared as though ey felt fine, so we started off our regular morning, albeit a little later than normal.

Our extra early rises seems no worse for the wear, however Beloved phoned the vet just to be sure. We were both surprised st what the vet said, which was “everyone, even early risers, need a lie-in sometimes”! She also felt that both dogs had probably been over-tired from time walking out in the wet woods. By walking I mean that’s what I did. He dogs however were in a hurry to smell all the different scents; chase squirrels, birds and imaginary animals. In other words they were running all over the place. Not just running higher thither and yin. But running while dragging their human boat anchor who simply couldn’t keep up.

The truth is, I’d be exhausted as well and probably need to sleep in. It was also a longer than normal car ride for the two of them. They don’t sleep in the car because they are busy looking out the windows and such, but after a car ride they normally fall into a deep sleep. And since we got home late basically it was “bed time” not long after getting home.

It was a nice change, this little extra sleep, but it also made me feel lazy. Not to mention it made me feel as if I had wasted part of the day. Beloved didn’t seem to mind the extra rest and unlike me didn’t feel he had wasted a moment of the day. But he isn’t looking for a repeat day immediately because it’s just not normal! He said once or twice a year is about all he can handle of this extra rest.

I’ve learned there are some people who simply can’t get a good night’s rest unless they are sleeping at home in their own beds. I’ve also learned there are people who have no problem sleeping in strange beds. Or places for that matter!😉

For me hospital beds are next to impossible to sleep in. Of course for me, not only is it a case of the bed being horrible, but the whole atmosphere as well, including the freezing temperatures that seem to stay with hospitals.

Hotels also give me pause…I just don’t know how clean things are and the whole bed bug thing always gives me the heejeebeejees! And now and yen I wonder what else has happened in the hotel room. Okay so sometimes I just can’t control my imagination!

Beloved also shares my imagination when it comes to hotels. Actually his might be more vivid than mine when you get right down to it! Not only does he wonder about how clean it is, but he wonders about murders, drugs, deaths, and how many babies have been created in that very room. Yep that’s my Beloved!

Of course this is the same man who has been known to fall asleep on a plane. Using a perfect stranger as a sort of pillow. 😕 Okay so he’s only done that twice but still. I mean who wants a perfect stranger’s bobbing head ending up on your shoulder for a couple hours? Not me! And some how he ends up with a sore neck when he’s done this and expects me to have sympathy for this. My empathy is for the poor strange who ended up becoming a pillow to him.

Beloved has a friend who can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, no matter where he is. He’s fallen asleep in a busy restaurant, stopped at a red light and during a conversation with Beloved. It’s not something he can control though, he has narcolepsy.

while recently out with him, he let us know that he had decided to no longer travel alone. He was concerned about what might happen if he were to fall sleep in some strange place. Would people take advantage of the situation? So far he has been fortunate this hasn’t happened. But he knows it could. And so he asked if we wanted to go to France with him.

Frankly I wouldn’t mind some time in France. I can skip Paris, but there are some parts of France I enjoy. But it’s not in the cards for me right now. Not given the way lupus is messing me up. But I’ve got support here, so Beloved opted to take a break in France.

they will be staying at a small bed and breakfast, which for some reason doesn’t make Beloved’s imagination fire up. I know the place where they will be staying, lovely comfortable beds that ensure a good night’s sleep. Hopefully that means some poor innocent person will be spared being a pillow on Beloved’s return flight home.

Have no worries about me not being able to sleep alone! What’s not to love about a whole bed to yourself?! Especially when the bed is comfortable and inviting! 😉

Young children, it seems, can sleep anywhere and through just about anything. I’ve seen them sleeping during fireworks going off. I witnessed a few fall asleep while eating. And some have dropped into the depths of slumber in the midst of play.

I have been told that old men can do the same thing if given the chance. I doubt old men fall sleep in the midst of eating or while busy playing. Maybe they do. If I’m lucky Belived will provide me with the answers! 😉

But somewhere along the lines some of us develop this weird thing. This odd habit that prevents some of us from sleeping any where, any time, no matter how tired we are.

What happens? What turns us from having a very natural thing, sleep, become a very private affair? Why do some of us startle at a slight sound or the shifting light? Why is it, no matter how loud and desperate our body gets for sleep we simply cannot achieve this if we are in a public place or away from bed?

Now lease don’t think I want to fall asleep in my oatmeal, or when I’m driving or working. But just once I’d like to have the luxury of knowing that if I needed to, I could sleep on a plane, or in a chair in the middle of the day.

I had made plans for the day. Several plans. Some rather ambitious ones I guess. I had even shared my plans with Beloved. And then this strange thing called reality clicked. You see the night before, the night I had made all the plans I was foolish in believing that I’d actually be able to do even half of what I added to the list.

The morning light highlighted my malar/butterfly rash just perfectly. Not that I noticed it as much as Beloved. He was kind enough to not say anything and only slightly raise his eyebrows for a moment. He knew, experience after all is an excellent teacher, that soon enough I’d know what he already knew. My list would have to wait.

Stiff fingers, intense pain and feeling as though I had expended enough energy to climb Mount Everest when in fact I had just sat up. A smile, faint and reassuring was on Beloved’s face, trying to hide the concern that was all to easy to read in his eyes. The smile was also because he knew that I’d struggle to try to pretend before giving in.

Sinking back into the pillows, I told Beloved I would just rest a bit longer and then I’d start on my list. The rest ended up lasting a bit longer than anticipated. When I managed to struggle to my feet and limp out beyond the bedroom I was taken by surprise. You see Beloved was doing the chores from my list.

He wouldn’t complete them all. He had his own ideas and plans for the day after all. But he managed to get rid of the big ones I’d wanted finished. And I spent my day resting and napping because that’s all I could manage to do.

It’s a bad day when you wake up with a headache, discover there is not a single ground of coffee to be found in the house and the weather is less than wonderful. I hate stumbling out of bed to these beginnings.

Today was one of those days with the added bonus of screaming joint pain. Between the pain and headache I was feeling nauseous and coffee, which seemed to be the cure was nowhere to be found. Even worse, I had errands to run, things that I couldn’t leave for another time.

Now normally I’m not a fan of letting Beloved drive on account of the way he drives. Or maybe it’s a control thing on my part. At any rate I was feeling bad enough to hand the keys to Beloved and let him drive. I figured it wouldn’t be too bad if I kept my eyes closed, but when you don’t trust his driving, even closed eyes don’t help.

Somehow I made it through then reminds, he stopped to get a coffee before going to buy stuff for the house and when we got home, he got me settled and headed out with the dog. But I couldn’t rest, not really. The pain and throbbing headache were just too much.

I even tried visualizing the pain floating away from my body. I imagined I had tied it to a balloon and the balloon was now rising and taking the pain away with it. Sadly all I could visualize was the pain weighing down the balloon until it landed with a huge thump back into my body.

I’ve worked with people who teach this technique to patients with a variety of pain and for whatever reason I e it been able to get it to work for me. What does works, strangely enough, is when Beloved reads to me. Granted it doesn’t take all the pain away, but it works enough to make things livable. So when he came back with the dog, he put a quilt on the bed, put the dog on that and then settled down beside me to read while the dog pushed his lovely warm weight against my aching knees. Heaven? Maybe not, but it sure felt good compared to where I had been earlier. I guess it’s how we cope with bad days.

I have no idea what possessed me, but come to think of it, possess is the right word. I had plans, well and medical orders really, to just rest. My latest labs had come back indicating that lupus was being rather aggressive, again.

Since im such a horrible patient, and being things weren’t at that point yet, my doctor order that I rest. Thankfully it was coming up to where I didn’t have to worry about work for a few days.

So I planned to rest. Honest, I did. No, now come on, I’m serious. I thought how lovely it would be to lounge around, read some and just enjoy the time.

So I woke up to start my day of resting and looked at the bookshelf. There was something not right, some off the books were out of order. This would NOT do. So I thought if I just slowly and occasionally worked on getting the books in order it would be ok. But that’s not how it turned out.

I did set a timer so I wouldn’t work at it too long, but then I’d allow myself “just a few more books”. And then it became few more and then all of the books.

Truly I tell you friends from here, from is small innocent step I quickly slipped to sorting periodicals and even bookmakers. I was possessed with sorting out the shelves and I guess avoiding rest.

I hoped that eventually the lupus flare and the physical activity would guide me, force me even, to rest. The strange thing is, as hard as I had planned to rest, I was possessed with not resting. I couldn’t explain it. So my doctor allowed to see if the exhaustion would over take obsession, exorcise the possession if you will. Which it did, but clearly this isn’t the easy way to go about resting.

Lack of sleep, stress and nerves can make anyone see something at isn’t there. Or maybe see something a little differently than how others see it. We can accept that these happen when the conditions are just right. In small children we call it an over active imagination.

in some cultures to see, hear and converse with things others cannot see implies that the person with this gift is very spiritual. In those cultures to have these gifts is considered an honor and they are much welcomed.

But I’m not sure how you put it when a well rested person with moderate stress starts interacting with her hallucination in a normal and daily fashion. I’m not exactly sure what it means when this happens. More to the point, I’m not sure what to do about it. Or if something needs to be done. Maybe things are fine this way? An adult with an imaginary friend who happens to be a moose. A moose that evidently wears heels, tight, body hugging drsees and has a thing for red lipstick. What do you do with this?

First I guess we should be grateful that the moose isn’t real, making a mess or damaging things. Secondly we can be glad that the beer drinking, lazy beaver has apparently moved on, replaced by the moose. Third I guess I am grateful that the moose doesn’t interfere with my relationship with my friend.

in the end, I guess, if my friend doesn’t have an issue with her moose, do I have a reason to take issue with it?