The Biggest Surprises of the iPhone 5 Announcement!

Yesterday Apple held an event to unveil its new iPhone 5, and like all Apple press conferences, it was full of surprises. And they were all surprises regarding new iPhone features, NOT horrific surprises like a pack of rabbid dogs bering let loose on the crowd. I mean, we're not talking about an AMAZON press conference here.

The fact that there is an iPhone 5

I'll be honest, the only news I really follow is about TV shows, so even the fact that there was an iPhone event yesterday surprised me. On the other hand, did you know Boardwalk Empire is coming back this Sunday? 9 PM ET only on HBO.

The new dock connector

After using a 30 pin connector for basically every portable Apple device since 2003, Apple has switched to a smaller, reversable connector called "Lightning". And to hear some people talk about it, this is an attack from Apple on its users! They've been using the 30 pin connector forever! Why should they switch now?! And it's a totally fair complaint—I mean, I remember being super angry when I bought a PlayStation 3 and couldn't play all my Gamecube games on it! I mean COME ON Sony! I've been playing Gamecube games for YEARS.

That LONG screen

HOLY CHRIST that's a long screen. I mean look at it. Just look at it! JESUS F*CKIN CHRIST. You could read a WHOLE GODDAMN ARTICLE at once on that screen. JESUS. You can put another ROW of apps on that b*tch! ONE MORE ROW!

HOLY.

F*CKING.

SH*T.

It's called "iPhone 5"

After Apple dropped its numbering system for the iPad earlier this year, many assumed they'd follow suit with the iPhone line and call it "the new iPhone". But here we have the iPhone 5, which to me, brings up bad memories. What was the last good FIFTH something? The 5th season of Lost? Far and AWAY the weakest season of that show. Resident Evil 5? It was barely even a Resident Evil game! 5nal Destination? That doesn't even make SENSE. So what are you saying here Apple? That the new iPhone is going to be the weakest of the iPhones? That it's barely even gooing to BE an iPhone? That it's not even going to make SENSE?

No NFC (Near Field Communication)

It's been said that NFC (Near Field Communication), a technology that can allow devices to communicate when touched together, would use a lot of battery. And so, NFC (Near Field Communication) was left out of this iteration of the iPhone. Another possible reason NFC (Near Field Communication) was left out of the new iPhone is that everytime you type "NFC" you have to immediately follow it with "(Near Field Communication)" and I can say from personal experience it is a hassle to type NFC (Near Field Communication) every time I want to talk about NFC (Near Field Communication).

What most surprised you about the iPhone 5? Let me know on Twitter at @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!

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