Sexual Tension Good for Party Says Former President

May 11, 2008

Former President Bill Clinton says the sexual tension between his wife, Senator Hillary Clinton, and Senator Barack Obama is good for the Democratic Party.

At a rally in Charleston, West Virginia, the former president told his audience, “You can see it in the little wink of an eye or the seductive smile that Senator Obama shares with my wife at each of the debates,” said Clinton. “As they hurl insults back and forth, there’s an underlying sense that something more is going on. You never know, ‘Will they do it, will they hook up? Or is it all just a tease?’ I think it’s what keeps America tuning into this whole primary thing, which otherwise would be boring as hell.”

As for the results of the primary, the former president said it really doesn’t matter who’s president and who’s vice president. “Whoever’s on top of the ticket, those two will be spending a lot of time together in the oval office. I have no doubt Hillary will be polishing his knob frequently throughout their administration.”

The audience, comprised mostly of teenage Catholic School girls, fell to a hushed silence as Clinton pointed his finger in their direction and concluded, “And that’s good for the party and that’s good for America.”