Revelations: a lesson in karma

I don’t know what I believe in but some things are too intense to be extreme consequences. I can’t shake the feeling that the universe may be trying to tell me something by giving me signs. Sometimes these signs point to a message that isn’t easy to decode. Perhaps we might think it is trying to teach us something but the real lesson is so much deeper than we initially think. For a long time I’ve believed that the continuous disappointment I’ve felt from other people who’ve let me down was a lesson about trust. It was meant to teach me not to trust everyone. To take my time and really evaluate whether someone can be trusted. And most importantly, I thought, it was a lesson about listening closely to my own intuition. Recent events have led me to question whether I just skimmed the surface of the universe’s revelations. I now think that the reason for my constant disappointment is karma. The more I think about other people’s questionable or shitty behaviour, the more I can name something I’ve done to someone else that’s just as bad or worse. I often operate with this “I’m doing what’s best for me” mentality. The problem with that is I can’t see how my actions may be impacting someone else. So today, despite feeling sorry for myself, I feel remorse for my own actions. I’m truly sorry to anyone I’ve ever hurt, even though most likely it was unintentional. I know that I won’t be in contact with most of these people ever again. But I hope the universe can hear my pain and forgive me.