Dysfunction Junction

OCD,ADD,ADHD,ODD,DPD,PPD, SPD,BPD,NPD, and any other D's not mentioned above that utilize a space on the DSM-IV multi-axial system of assessment and then too, any other disorder that has yet to be identified by the National Institude for Mental Health.

lundi

vendredi

I'm ill today. "CLUBBING" little man, is not such a bad thing no more than I do it. It's not my fault you don't have any rhythm and can't hang. Take the oil painting down please. Take them all down, I feel ugly today and don't want to look at myself every time I come here. Leave Vince.

jeudi

"I don't like the glamorous nights so much. I usually leave depressed and I don't know why.... I like the local bar with money in the jukebox and a pretty girl next to me."
~Vince Vaughn

And you know where he hangs out when he's here Liz? MY bar, that's where...the one he got arrested at, Cowboys, aka Firebelly Lounge. Nope. he would NOT even go inside of those silly 'dance clubs' with "Dee Jay Time" and the slickly produced R&B and 'flavor-of -the-moment' bands...or whatever. But damn, y'all do favor...

Yer welcome luv...i always like to hang out with ya, and next meal will be at my place, and MUCH better. though that one was right durn good. Hope you have a beautiful day. p.s. your feet are soooo extra sexy/pretty with that new nail polish. damn.

I did a pic of you, sort of an 'oil painting' type look, of course you'll hate it, but still...

mardi

Dawson, I got so damn ill I installed the road runner myself. Got to think up something real crafty to say to the computer tech when he does decide to show. Or maybe I'll ask him if he can hook me up on a job since I obviously know what I'm doing.

Well Elizabeth...I guess our thousands of phucked up readers reckon we've called it quits, but we both know we're just dealing with heavy personal shite. Hey, I took another on-line test, I know, I know, it's intended for women...or transvestites, but these are my favorite panties on a chick. (not that you'd know! I brought you panties before and never even got to see you wear em. You ingrate.) Write something soon girl, you're the hyper one here!

samedi

Oh I wanted to tell y'all about this book my friend showed me. Some ADD specialist wrote it and no I can't remember the whole story but the guy says that people with ADD/ADHD act 20% younger than what they really are. It could have been 30%, but anyway that makes me roughly 17 in ADHD years. I tell you what, if I had to choose a disorder, it would be this one. And for memory, another guy in another book said that there is this thing you can do. In your head multiply a set of two numbers and when you can do that do it again with three numbers. It's not all that easy either. 20 minutes it took for me to get 17X14. Soon as you carry that 2 all the numbers disappear, over and over.

vendredi

Creativity isn't always valued. Creative people can be annoying to others. They often challenge and annoy others who insist the world is flat. They may also get in the way and not give up when they think they're on the track of some great discovery. They may not be good "team players" and may operate outside the structure needed by others."
In an article for the Journal of Creative Behavior, Bonnie Cramond described her research and speculation on a link between creativity and attention deficit disorder in children. She also described the daydreaming and impulsivity of great thinkers and inventors and the difficulty they had in school.
Cramond tested children with ADD and found them highly creative. She also found that rountine, quiet, and structure was usually recommended for such children, although it was ineffective for them, at best. Instead, such children needed less structure, not more. In fact, their creativity could easily be stifled by rigid structure.

Copied that straight out of a book by the way. Just something I found interesting and it sort of spins off the content posted the other day from The Society books. It seems structure is not always the best policy. AND something else too, y'all did know Vince Vaughn has ADD, right? I bet Elvis did too, no one shakes there leg like that and says, "I can't help it" without having some issues with hyperactivity.

jeudi

Believe it or not, I did get a call back on that eclectic position I had inquired about last week. Strange man. Called and said "tell me about yourself" and I chuckled and said "wow, thats an open ended question" And I went on to do that and then we hung up and I sent the resume he requested. He didn't have to much to say about anything else. Hey, I also e-mailed my resume to this one position intitled "Problem Analyst 1" The secretary e-mailed me back "Mrs. Spencer, we have a Problem. Please resend your resume with a contact number and an address." I suddenly felt unqualified for that position.

Naw it didn't happen like that, I told it like that to a group of people at the la-cross game this afternoon and they all laughed though. But yeah I did realize I hadn't put any contact info on the resume and had to resend. I'll keep ya posted on that one too. That position just sounds cool, know what I mean?

I can SuRf now. Awe D! I could KISS you, BUT you're asleep and I can hear you snoring from here. Hey, they have found a direct link to snoring and ADHD. If I could remember the article I'd sure tell you the whole story. I do know that beer is not in your budget this week so it could not be a drunken snore and then your not fat so yep, I bet it's got something to do with some disorder or you may just need to have that thing cut out of your throat, what's it called again?

mercredi

The following essay is something I wrote a few months ago. I do own 20 volumes of the original study books published by the Society for Adult Education intitled, Psychology and Life . And I wrote this small piece to share with others how wonderous robotic life can be. No seriously, I think I wrote it to pick on normal people. Anyway, I am telling you all about chapter five so read it, ok?

OK..you ready..Psychology and Life and we'll be skipping around as usual and going straight to assignment five where we will be discussing HABIT, "the enormous flywheel of society."
To study these books seriously might lend one's self to a master's thesis so really I'm just going to give you a general idea of how these books interpret psychology. I was skimming through the set, admiring the look of the books (the thick black leather, the signatures...all that good stuff) and I stopped at assignment five entitled, Human Being As Machine, Man, A Mass Of Habits and between those headings is a nice quote by Goethe about habit being the imperious of all masters. Immediately I was stressed, mainly because the development of any habit on my end, by nature, seems to be impossible and then the ones I have acquired are not of the good kind I am sure. Thinking I may be disheartened more, I read on. Why we humans do that is unbeknownst to me...no different than going to check out a strange noise you heard outside, in the middle of the night, with a serial killer on the loose. I mean it's either nothing or it's the serial killer right? OR it could be the dog you lost a year or so ago and other than a mild case of mange he's fine and happy to see you. Same goes for literature. You keep reading and what comes next might not be so bad after all. Point is, after launching off assignment five with the massive Goethe quote "The Society" while expressing that habits save time, relieve fatigue, are proficient, and allow development of all kinds of manners, they THEN went on to use the word DELUSION to imply that you people -you with your perfectly structured existences, all tend to be compliant in the thought that individuals must come into regular and orderly ways of acting or one might be "as fickle as the wind and as unreliable as the luck of a fisherman". And then the final question concerning the matter came down to laziness. (Did I mention I really am quite fond of these books) So you habitual type may wonder what laziness has to do with it all. Here in a nutshell..after about the age of thirty "the society" states that "We are too contented with ourselves. We love animal comforts and like to graze and lie down and chew the cud of the events of the past." If you need that hacked it means after about thirty your mental courage slips and your sort of stuck in programs of action, attitudes, thoughts, emotions and that basically you have given into the inevitable inertia of your nerves. And then for people such as myself, who find routine and habit out of site therefore out of mind, the society states, and I do quote "These kinds of mental creators will not be stopped in their tracks; they keep life moving ahead. They make it unfold its portals and reveal to them a continuous panorama. These people ARE THE SALT OF THE EARTH; they bring us the fresh inspiration of the spring breeze. Without this touch of spring, the monotony of the average life would be like the wide-open stretches of the desert."

mardi

Man you were gone so long. I got so bored I wrote a feature on some guy with hoarding disorder. Thanks for changing the font. I like orange. And as far as Vince is concerned, I specifically called down to you yesterday and asked you SPECIFICALLY how to spell his name even though I already KNEW, and just totally wanted to be sure YOU gave me THAT spelling 3 different times. And then of course you being my elder and all, I put my doubts aside and went with YOUR spelling.

goodnight to you D...sorry bout you being all depressed and shit, if i could give you my strain of depression, I would. (as long as i didnt have to take over yours of course) Hey...you got me and Gabby-Girl though so don't worry and try to be happy...:)

"There is order in most chaotic behavior. It probably made since to him, but he was overwhelmed by the paper work, by the bills, by the stacking."

This is the quote Clint Van Zandt, a former FBI profiler, offered as an explanation to Ray Brent Marsh's stacking problems. No folks, I don't mean the stacking of bills, or paper work, but the stacking of 339 bodies that were thought to have been cremated long ago. On investigating the matter further, authorities now believe that Mr. Marsh had no criminal intent but rather a deep psychological condition. Here are a few theories offered on the matter.

The guy had metadepression and lost ultra interest.

He was deep rooted in some obsessive compulsive disorders

AND GIVE ME A DRUMROLL PLEASE.... The man has a hoarding disorder

Hoarding Disorder- a little-understood psychological malady that has only recently been recognized as a mental health issue.

Those psycho anal people are too funny...:). Soon we'll have sub-hoarder category types, can't wait! Interested in my theory?? The man has a bad case of ADD and you know sometimes others help you introspect when you can't help yourself. So the police did all right on this one, but the court system should drop the 232 body charges and maybe pull some resources to get Mr. Marsh into some other line of work-work more accommodating to his condition for sure. Know too, it takes talent to be that eclectic, and if my theory means a hill of beans to anyone, I'd say the guy truly meant well by the whole mess and deserves a bit of mercy and compassion...shit.They were already dead anyway.

OH Elizabeth!...sorry not to post my love, I've been devastatingly depressed...breaking up with HER, moving to a new apt with TES, the dang computer crashing 100 times, $500 in the hole to the bank and $50 to one of my best pals....couple all that stress with the OCD and anxiety and my cutting WAY down on drinking...and the Israel situation with the massacre of Jews...i say F**K the Arabs, or more precisiley Islam...Bush waffling like a panty waist, is he a freaking Muslim now or what?...man I've been so low I could sit on a dime and dangle my legs, it's getting kinda comfy here on the canvas, but I'll get up fore the count of 10 baby. When Gabrielle ran off the other night I really just wanted to die, I mean, please don't take the dog for the love of God...but when she showed up at the door at 6 in the am...man, things suddenly seemed a whole lot better. Kinda put things in perspective, I suppose. Thank God for old friends...like you. I dropped in on Sexy Sekimori, one of my favorite chicks...the one who, among other cool things, has all the on-line tests, and took the 'which blogging tool are you' quiz. Here's my results, which, sadly, about sums things up. (I wanted to be something cool, like Movable Type, dammit. And I'm NOTHING if not reliable, as you know...and cute I ain't. Sheesh.)

You are not very reliable but people like you anyway because you are so easygoing and fun to be with. And cute, too.

I'll be back soon pretty woman...btw, if you want Vince you need to learn how to spell VAUGHN. And I'll address the Ann issue later...and change your font color for you...I know you're fixated on having that done....

lundi

DAWSON...will you pay me some attention. Damn, you know how bored I get. Will you make it where we can surf off this site? I don't want Google though...I was thinking an underdog search engine OR hang on...let me go find one that's pretty.

While I'm doing that, can you also make my font orange, I don't like this color. OK...that's all the honey-doo's for now.

Yeah, been having some difficulties lately, mostly financial. My therapist did call in this trying time of mine. He says to me: "I've canceled your med-check for this month." "We can reschedule as soon as you pay for the check you bounced last month." Hey...you always know who your friends are when your down and out.

FortuNUTly, most of my family is eat up with ADD too and I was able to obtain some medication illegally.

samedi

Hey, Dawson. You there? Didn't you once tell me that if I kept talking about Vince Vaghn, and when he does the google search on himself, he might stumble across me? That's how you nabbed Ann Coulter, right? Actually, you made her the site mascot. I won't take that from you. So how bout this: In addition to my ADD, I could also have Tourette's syndrome, medically induced Tourett's, of course. After all, that IS an actual side-effect of adderal (don't quote me on that) so every now and again i can impulsively type FUCK. Vince Vaghn.Vince.Vince. And I mean, I can tone that down some if you want, I dunno... I'm just SO money,you know D? I just think he should know is all.

Liz, baby. This template just really sucks. One thing, I bet no one else in the world has the thing. I mean, where are the nuts? What's with this ADVACADO thing on the left there? It looks vulgar. All these fruits...well, won't speak for you, but personally, I ain't no fruit. But then, I'm no vegatable either, so I'll be a banana. With nuts. Yes, we have no bannas. And what about my panic disorder? Where's that? You are focusing on the obvious, and it's giving me a panic attack. Depression? Where's that one, Liz? Cause we both know soneone who's depressed now don't we? Re the job you applied for: if it requires "attention to detail" then i think you have a pretty good shot at it. OK. Gotta go find my wallet, B&N called and my book is in...

Saw this ad:Star News employment opportunity: Eclectic position as asst. to a photographer...

Yes, I was compelled to inquire. "Hi Elizabeth Spencer here, I'm an eccentric person....calling in reference to your eclectic position. Give me a call at your earliest convenience 555-5555." Don't know if I'll land that one or not...I'll keep you posted.

jeudi

Dawson....I do think you have ADD along with your OCD. And that's not a bad thing at all because the OCD is the only reason you have some order about yourself. It might have been better actually to have more OCD if you think about it. Then you wouldn't lose your wallet so much...you would have like a 1-2-1-2 wallet check system. Since this isn't the case, I would think the ADD has more pull then the OCD. Just an observation.