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A big thanks to Pam Song for encouraging me to start blogging again. My last post was in November and since then, many many things have happened. A lot of my time (and thought) have been spent at work and improving myself in my knowledge of both theoretical and practical elements of my work.

It’s been challenging at times but the company that I work for has always been open and extremely encouraging in my continued development. The people that I work for and work with have been extremely gracious and generous with both their words and actions. I have always been a firm believer that once you’re unhappy in your current job or career, you need to change it. We spend a substantial time at work and to be unhappy in your job is definitely most detrimental to both yourself and the company you’re working for – this will then feed a feedback cycle. The opposite is also true, the happier you are in your job (or any situation for that matter) the happier other people feel around you and the positive feedback cycle starts to manifest itself.

Spiritually, I have learnt the quiet power of prayer and how prayer needs to be the bedrock of your faith. Without prayer and indeed, focus, on God from a day-to-day basis, it is extremely easy, especially for young adults like myself, to lose sight of the spiritual ramifications of our actions. Everything in the world is shouting for us to forget about the spiritual realm, to focus on the now and the imminent; the foreseeable and the predictable. No rewards are given for actions done “in faith”, no accolades for speaking the future before inheriting it.

But the spiritual realm is the very thing that we need to think about, need to focus on and need to base our actions on. Without God, everything is meaningless.

Relationship wise, my now fiancée and myself are starting plans for a wedding early next year. We have set a date but pending the preparations, will start to slowly release the news to our friends and family. I proposed in February last year but the fiancée chose to slowly let the parents know. I did ask but only informally and never got a really definite answer. It’s tricky, its not like the movies where the guy meets the parents and asks for the hand of the daughter – movies like this do not reflect Asian family culture… at all.

Anyway, we’re now more set than ever to settle down in Sydney and doing all we can to work towards this goal.

I hope this little update appeases the blog-gods and I hope to start reviving the blog to reflect a more personal angle to my life – and to go back to my roots of compiling my blogs as an autobiography in the future 😉

Please leave a comment if you’re still reading this blog; if not do give me a Tweet and say hello.

Life this past year I must admit has been busy and hectic. At times I’ve felt like giving up but being young and full of ambition, I knew that’s not an option.

I’ve always made choices and stuck with it no matter what the circumstances are. Be it family, love, relationships, friendships, work, activity, games, shopping – anything and everything for that matter. If I’ve made up my mind, nothing can change it – I will pummel through. I might be wrong but I will still pummel through. It might be tough but I will pummel. Some call it pride, I call it stubbornness and true strength.

Don’t get me wrong, I will cry at the drop of a hat and when I see things which touch my heart, no doubt I will show emotion. I think emotion and having a strong will is two entirely different things.

Anyway, so this past year have seen a lot of pummeling, a lot of what-ifs and a lot of I-don’t-have-no-choice. But you know what, at the end of that, it all paid off.

I read somewhere that Gen Y-ers start their career pretty late – I am one of those.

I just don’t see the point of rushing everything – life is meant to be enjoyed at this age (and at any age for that matter). I am glad I have spent this amount of time in a “not-real” job – I don’t think I would have it any other way if my life were to repeat again. The things I’ve learnt – the people I’ve met – the stories I’ve heard – the dresses I’ve seen – the pride, the humility, the hurt, the joy – meeting people this way has opened my senses to a whole new way of thin-slicing situations and people.

Without this experience, I don’t think I would be who I am today.

A job is a job. A career is the same. They may come quick and they may fade quick. Money. That too will come and go. But the only thing that we constantly have to treasure and keep are relationships. When you’re out of a job, out of money and diseased – what remains? Who remains is the question.

Nothing else matters when you have nothing – but that hand rested upon yours, crossed over your shoulders. You know that at the end another human will get you your heart’s needs.

The world is a social place and we have to understand that everything revolves around people. The finance industry is made up of people. If you take the humans out, the stock market will collapse.

The super important and essential part of our lives is relationships with people – and this is the key message for me for the past few years. The ability to build relationships – to learn and to refine my approaches. All this is crucial. I do not regret a single minute.

But now I look forward to start my career and in my new role in an equally new and exciting industry.

When life takes you into a very long and often dark hole, people always revert to things that make themselves feel better.

Be it spending money, shopping (gaining material things), or elevating yourself and having internal conversations which make yourself feel better and then out of this often misplaced confidence linking to behaviour which puts people down (to elevate your own status).

This is somewhat ‘normal’ in today’s society. I see it a lot at work its usually the insecure people which cause the most dramas; little things will tick them off and if they don’t get their way, they whine and want to ‘complain’ to a more senior manager. This is all good unless the senior manager takes the side of the employee which further infuriates the customer/client and then they leave red-faced. But the thing is everyone wants to be heard and everyone will want to cause a ruckus to cover their already sensitive state of mind/emotions, insecurities and to deflect attention from the real issue.

Usually lots of things are said and its the reason behind those words and actions that need deciphering; not the words and actions itself. We live in a complicated world and people have a whole array of backgrounds. Some poor, some rich, some marginalised, some included, some good-looking and still others not quite.

But is it wrong to derive a sense of self-worth from all these things? These crutches? A whole array of people have crutches which prop them up in life, cars, houses, your net worth, family, friends; that’s why I think that the best people in life are the homeless. They have nothing to rely on but truly themselves, no possessions to feel good about themselves about and no solid goals or objectives to keep them going. They are just being themselves; but even then they could rely on being homeless as an identity.

I don’t know, my Dad always brought us up to be humble and not have a big head and I think he’s brought me up fine that way. It’s the truly confident and secure that do not need to shout and whine and cause a ruckus because honestly that will only let people see through you even more easily. If you are rich, there’s definitely going to be people who are richer than you and if you’re smart, there’s always someone smarter than you. It’s an endless cycle of up and down, above and below, that’s the hierarchy and nature of the human race.

Whatever your crutch is, I just ask you to examine it, be it your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/family/children/friends/career/possessions. Imagine your life without these things and if a tinge of sadness/hopelessness comes across you when you imagine life without it, maybe, just maybe you need to rethink your priorities and see if you can run the race without crutches.

Obviously being a Christian, my crutch is always and only going to be God. He is the only crutch that will get me through because He is God. All powerful, omnipresent, Creator of The Universe, all-loving God. He is immovable, indisputable and most importantly not going to disappear and crumble like other crutches. Wow!

This is something that I want to put on writing for a very long time, since Hillsong Conference 2009 actually…

So I was volunteering in Kids as usual and got to talking to one of the parents as she was dropping off her kid which was in my group.

I don’t know what on Earth we were talking about (which is like 90% of my conversations lol). What I do remember is as follows (P for the parent ):

P: You know what I got healed of cancer myself. I’ll show you the doctor’s letter too and everything but I didn’t bring my bible today.

So I was like yeah of course, with two kids and the tight schedule of Conference, who carries a big Bible around.

P: Oh you know what?! I did bring it!

She then proceeds to taking out an envelop from the Bible bag and handed me the letter.

I read the letter.

It was an official letter alright with medical letterheads and everything and it began with, “Dear Mrs. X, Unfortunately you have been diagnosed with cancer of the oesaphagus.”

It went on to explain the reasons that came to the conclusion and how it will spread and what medications are available for it and all the medical stuff.

The last paragraph went something like this, “Please prepare your family for the future as your husband will not have a wife in six months time and your children without their mother. Yours sincerely, Dr. X.”

I’ve never read a “Death Note” before and in my hands was one that sounds just like one if they do exist. I track backed to the date of the letter and it was March 2008. Simple mathematics put her 9 months “due”. And there she was standing right in front of me. As real as the computer screen you are reading this from and as real as the mouse you are clicking.

I was like “Wow!” You hear of miracles from like Africa and India and even China but I’ve never met someone I know personally who has been healed from a “death sentence”. She was like, “As soon as I got the news I rallied my church and we prayed and prayed and believed for healing.”

Through various visions and dreams she’s got confirmation after confirmation of her healing and she told me herself she’s never felt better in her life… 9 months past her “due date”…

Truly amazing what faith in a very real God can do I guess. But beyond that faith is a supernatural God with supernatural reasonings that we will never ever know. It’s amazing how things just ‘work’ sometimes… Truly amazing…

God bless!

P.S. On another note, apparently my grandfather is healed of nose cancer but I cannot verify this and all though; my uncle told me in an SMS. But if he really did get healed of a CONFIRMED case of cancer than PRAISE GOD! Sometimes people think Christians are humans living life “wishfully thinking” that “god” is in their midst but truth be knownst, some Christians are the most thorough and detailed and skeptical people I know… Me included…

So OK, two things I’ve learnt in the 5pm service tonight. Worship is way too loud and if you want to tell me your name, the least you could do is make sure I can hear you.

No, just joking!

OK, so Robert Barriger preached up a storm tonight as part of the ‘6 Hot Weekends’ leading to Conference. Biju Thampy preached last Sunday, complete with a bad back which he just had surgery on this past Friday. The thing about these two men is that they are the true blue harvesters. They have their hands to the soil and toil and are out in the world saving people. Biju in the slums of Mumbai and Robert in Lima, Peru. They are changing the world by feeding the poor, channeling resources to them and saving under privileged human beings from the evil grasp of other human beings. Saving girls from prostitution seem to be a recurring theme in poor places; its easy to sell a girls’ rights, dignity and body for a couple of cents. What you are selling is her soul, her sanity, her self-respect, her health. I cannot even start to imagine what these girls go through!

Robert and Biju are fine examples of what the church should look like. We are to fight for the voiceless and hold high the honour and right of every single human being on Earth; regardless of race, religion and social background. This is how inclusiveness looks like in John 3:16… For God so loved the WORLD…

But anyway, two things I’ve learnt today.

1. Jesus is not the Jesus in the Bible anymore.
When Jesus was on Earth, He came as a baby in the manger, performed miracles, walked on water, got betrayed and was brutally nailed and punished on the cross. But He resurrected and in Revelation (which is not a book about the end times but rather a revelation of the NOW Jesus Christ) is portrayed as the Lion of Judah, no more the sacrificial Lamb of God. He is portrayed with fire in His eyes, glowing and with a double edged sword in His hand. The nails on the Cross are gone, His scars are healed; glorified even. This is the Jesus of today; this moment; until the day He comes. He seats on the right hand of the Father, interceding for us. This hero, this superhero, this God.

2. There is a ‘behind the scenes’ in our everyday life.
I invite you to take a look at Revelation 12. This is indeed what happened ‘behind the scenes’ of Jesus’ birth. There is a very real spiritual war going on in our everyday lives. The more the Devil can distract our minds from it, the better it is for him. We pray less, we get disillusioned and out of focus and stray away from the paths that will strengthen angels and in the process might weaken them. The less humans are aware of the spiritual realm the better it is. That’s why a lot of people want to say they are atheist. As long as the Devil can make you believe there is no spiritual realm, he has succeeded. He does not necessarily need people to believe he exists.

But this is a futile war, the Devil wages it so that he can bring as many people down as possible. Wreak as much havoc on the creation of God as much as possible; hurt people, destroy lives, incinerate hopes and dreams. But his time is short and he is in fury (Revelation 12:12).

A lot of times we get so caught up in church and life and connect group and Bible study and serving and all good ‘Christian’ things that we forgot that there’s always a ‘behind the scenes’ happening. I don’t think that we are meant to see what goes on in the ‘studio’ this side of the television but just to choose what we watch and what we do very very carefully.

I am again reminded tonight that how we live the dot of our lives determine our line of ETERNITY…

Had Connect Group tonight and I always feel good after Connect Group. It feels good encouraging people, listening to people and introducing new belief systems and change into people’s lives. Its cause when you teach and minister that you get taught and ministered to at the same time. If you don’t give, you don’t receive. And when you are using your words to explain and strengthen someone else, guess who hears it the loudest? Yes, its yourself.

I feel like a lot of people are getting on my nerves nowadays. Usually younger people. Younger as in age. But I know of some young people who are mature.

Maybe I’ll rephrase it, immature people are getting on my nerves. Of course there are adults who are immature.

Let’s dissect this (by the way, this wasn’t what we discussed in Connect Group); what immaturity looks like…
1. The world revolves around you, you and you.
2. You have no sense of others. Seriously.
3. You have no sense of right and wrong.
4. You are impatient (Priorities upside down).
5. And you do not share.
6. You do not communicate well.

Sounds like Cubbyhouse on the weekend! Its OK if you are 0-2 and act immature cause you ARE immature. But what really irks me is when young adults act immature.

What is the cure?

But back to CG, we talked about having ‘No Excuses’ today! Woohuh! It was pretty good I reckon and it always amazes me how the Holy Spirit just reminds me of timely and relevant bible verses and truths that I can encourage and minister my group with. Thank you God!

So I was reading through my devotional material (Destined To Reign) yesterday (it’s my best way of focusing myself on God and with that opening my heart to his DIRECT voice and teaching) and came across Proverbs 3:9-10…

Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine…

I admit that I’ve been slacking off in this area of my life for some months now and getting back on the financial saddle of Christianity is an immediately rewarding one. Coming off of the devotion yesterday was this hagah business; of how you should SPEAK the promises of God not just believe it.

Then continuing on today, in Mark 11:23 Jesus says this…

“I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours…”

So, apparently, there are 3 “says” and one “believe” in this verse. (The last “say” is “whatever you ask for in prayer”).

I don’t know about you but most of the time I don’t proclaim/declare the verses in the Bible. I know it in my head and I read it and I quote it sometimes in conversations but I don’t declare it to myself. It’s too Anthony Robbins I tell myself, its just purely positive thinking if I proclaim it… If I do it, God will not honour me because it’s my own work and not God’s…

But the thing is the principle works. God cannot go against His principles even when man uses them without Him. Anthony Robbins, positive thinkers, motivational speakers all use the principle of speaking success and wealth to your self. Of course in the short term it works but when people go deeper and ‘attain’ what they seek for, they find that there is no reason beyond it. There’s no meaning… And sometimes they get so obsessed they lose sight of what has to be important to them… Using a God-principle without God is like setting up an Ikea shelf without the manual; and end up using it as a table. It works well as a table but it was designed to work as a shelf… It may work fine but sooner or later, flaws will appear. That and it will never realize its full potential as a shelf!

But enough of analogies…
So before I left home today, I hagah-ed Proverbs 3:9-10 on Facebook and to myself…

After passing my driving Knowledge test (I last ‘studied’ for it in September), I was off to lunch with Bryan then proceeded to shop for some lights today at Bunnings cause there were ads on TV promoting 10 dollar work lights! Fresh-eyed and curious, it felt like a big Wal-Mart kinda place, places that only existed on TV and we spent an hour and a little bit more exploring the place (All 30 aisles – Electrical, Spotlights, Downlights, Paint, BBQ sets, Hoses, Taps, Carpets, etc). So tossing between expensive flouroscents and other lights, I decided on a 28 dollar worklight set; tripod and 2x500W lights and everything. Good deal! The cashier rang my transaction up and it was a tad over what I budgeted. So I, as a right-conscious consumer, pointed to the rather large sign that said $28.89. After a price check and discussions with her supervisor and what nots, she took down the price and shaved a cool $10 off what was supposed to be a $38 dollar light!

I left the place knowing that I’ve saved $10 without any sales discounts or anything and it was purely because I was at the right place at the right time…

I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure my hagah-ing in the morning had something to do with it… Praise God!

Le’ts have another hagah moment right NOW…2 Corinthians 8:9 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich…