"And if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing."

Consciousness

My eyes were closed and I was leaning so far over in my seat I was almost falling out. We were finally free, heading west away from everything and everyone we knew. I couldn’t see where we were going, and I didn’t care, I trusted him. He had chosen a life with me after all this time.

I kept my eyes closed and my face as close to his as I could get, my elbows on his armrest. My eyes would flutter open here and there just enough to get a glimpse of his face right before he kissed me again. I felt blissfully and completely happy. Him, us, the unknown future consumed every ounce of my being.

I would wait, eyes closed, with my nose brushing his cheek, and every few seconds he would turn away from the wheel and kiss me, almost for too long.

I giggled and said, “Are you even watching where you’re going?”

He smiled, “It doesn’t matter, we’re already here.” He threw the old, white minivan in park, and before I could snap out of my hypnosis he was out the door and in the driveway. My consciousness acknowledging reality like a light switch, I looked down and noticed I was completely naked. He had opened the back door on the driver’s side of the van, and I scrambled to hide behind the bucket seat on the second row and at the same time find my clothes.

As if in slow motion, I looked to the driveway and processed what I saw. There he stood, just behind his wife, their two children on either side of them. They all looked genuinely confused, except for him. He wore a smug, slight grin on his face as if to say, “Gotcha bitch.”

Hysterical, as I began to cry I yelled, “What the hell is going on?! What are you doing?!”

I managed to get my pants on while my panic quickly turned to anger. I hopped out of the minivan, topless, clutching my tank top. I stomped up to him, “I can’t believe you would do this to me! You are the biggest piece of sh*t I’ve ever met!”

He backed away a few steps but I kept yelling as I put my shirt on, “You are a terrible person, you filthy liar!” I stabbed my finger in the air, “your mom and dad are sh*tty people, too, for raising such a f*cking lunatic.” Somehow, I knew that would get to him.

Thankfully I was clothed now, because I couldn’t move. As I stood there, we stared at each other and no one said anything. I realized then that I wasn’t actually angry, I was heartbroken. His expression had changed too, from pompous to ashamed. There was nothing left to do but leave. I turned and walked back to the van.

Here’s to those crazy dreams that happen right before you wake up in the morning.