Forum » Topic: Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Projecthttp://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286
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button on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-136138
Tue, 28 Aug 2012 07:53:24 +0000button136138@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>thanks, the artwork caption is very good. I'm getting a banner ad for Knowsley Safari!
</p>dvo4fun on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-136136
Tue, 28 Aug 2012 07:45:03 +0000dvo4fun136136@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Makes a cracking FP button and the caption on the artwork is lovely.
</p>writinginbsl on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-136024
Mon, 27 Aug 2012 13:13:23 +0000writinginbsl136024@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>loved it-very visual</p>
<p>late stars and a bump
</p>charlies_hat on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-135893
Sun, 26 Aug 2012 09:19:50 +0000charlies_hat135893@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Yep, excellent sub. Do you use windscreen wiper blade too?
</p>ricky33 on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-135859
Sat, 25 Aug 2012 21:48:21 +0000ricky33135859@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>"That doesn't mean they won't bite your children though". Ace!
</p>The All New Jeni B on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-135856
Sat, 25 Aug 2012 21:35:56 +0000The All New Jeni B135856@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>It was it's greasy overalls that gave it away.</p>
<p>And the Pirelli calendar pinned to the tree.
</p>button on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-135853
Sat, 25 Aug 2012 21:21:39 +0000button135853@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>That proves it Jeni.
</p>The All New Jeni B on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-135852
Sat, 25 Aug 2012 21:19:55 +0000The All New Jeni B135852@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Once saw a monkey at Blair Drummond Safari Park sitting under a tree with a copy of the Haynes Manual for a 1978 Renault 5 TS.
</p>button on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-135846
Sat, 25 Aug 2012 20:54:25 +0000button135846@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>I've enquired after your wiper dvo, you'll be pleased to hear they still have it and use it to scratch their arses. They also asked me to tell you they think you stepped over the line with your Andy Murray sub.
</p>dvo4fun on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-135841
Sat, 25 Aug 2012 20:10:39 +0000dvo4fun135841@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>yep, nice one button. </p>
<p>Have they still got the wiper blade from my 1965 VW Beetle?
</p>Perks on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-135840
Sat, 25 Aug 2012 19:35:00 +0000Perks135840@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Yep. Loved it. Always wanted to work in a safari park just so I could flowers and sympathy cards next to the road as you drive through the lions enclosure.
</p>Vertically Challenged Giant on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-135839
Sat, 25 Aug 2012 19:30:41 +0000Vertically Challenged Giant135839@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Cracking
</p>custard cream on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-135836
Sat, 25 Aug 2012 18:33:20 +0000custard cream135836@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Great, well done! max. stars!
</p>button on "Longleat Monkeys finally complete Vauxhall Astra Project"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47286#post-135807
Sat, 25 Aug 2012 11:07:46 +0000button135807@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>After 5 years of hard work the monkeys of Longleat drive through Safari have put the finishing touches to a metallic blue Vauxhall Astra.</p>
<p>Paul, spokesmen for the 100 strong Rhesus monkey troop told us “It’s taken a lot of hard work and dedication but we pulled the final rear quarter moulding from an unsuspecting family last Friday and now we have a fully operational car. We’ve been at Longleat for 10 years now, and we wasted the first 3 just monkeying around, but then Curious George suggested we focus our efforts on building our own motor. Initially we set our sights slightly too high and decided to build a Jaguar XKR Convertible, but after 2 years with no models passing through we set a new target and haven’t looked back since.”</p>
<p>“Work was initially hampered as the tools were limited to a monkey wrench and monkey nuts but after I liberated a tool box from the back of a works van we haven’t looked back. The last few weeks have been manic and I’ve been rushing around like a blue arse monkey but it’s all been worth it.”</p>
<p>When asked what plans the troop had for the car Paul told us that as soon as one of them passed their driving test they were off on a road trip to India to harass tourists but until then they would probably just piss and shit all over it.</p>
<p>The troop are keen to put their new found skills to further use however, and have opened a Kwick Fit franchise outside the gates of the safari. “We have noticed most cars do need some work done by the time they finish the monkey drive through” Paul went on “and I’m pleased to say our specially trained grease monkeys can now successfully diagnose faults and fit tyres without biting them first. That doesn’t mean they won’t bite your children though.”</p>
<p>Hat tip to Wayland
</p>