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Posts Tagged ‘london’

This Post Is Rated: M for Mildly Offensive. Londoners may take particular offense at the revelations of this post (and they are welcome to it).

Inserted with Windows Live Writer… Impressive eh?

Last year I moved from Warwickshire, England to Ealing, Londonland and having been in this strange culture for several months now, I feel able to comment on it fully.

Londonland is ruled by Supreme Dictator Red Ken, whose rule has been unchallenged for 7 years and at this rate looks set to go on forever. Natives of Londonland refer to it simply as London, but it is quite obvious that the Supreme Dictator considers London to be a separate state from the country of England, where I come from. After all, in England, mayors of large cities tend to serve the inhabitants of their cities and are concerned with matters within their jurisdiction. It would be rare to see an English mayor flying all over the world to attract business and mass-migration, posturing on the world stage like a prime minister, president or royalty would.

This Post Is Rated: C for Controversial. Would have been fun if it hadn’t been about a life-threatening contraption built by environMENTALISTS.

If anyone wanted further proof that the environMENT has become more important that human life, last month Top Gear released the G-Wiz Crash tests:

This is the car Red Ken, Global Leader and Supreme Dictator of Londonland, wants you and everyone else to drive one of these awful death-traps.

Here’s a piece cut from the FAQ on G-Wiz manufacturers site:

What about safety in the G-Wiz?The G-Wiz is a breakthrough product in the fight against climate change… Thanks but we asked about safety
Excessive speed, no seat belts, alcohol & drug usage, and driver error are the main causes of accidents and injuries in the UK… Just so you know, it’s not our fault if you end up dead in oneWhilst larger, heavier cars in general perform better in crash tests, they are also more likely to injure other road users… Our cars will only kill you
The G-Wiz has a tubular steel space frame which surrounds the driver and passengers. This includes side impact bars and a front crumple zone designed to protect passengers in low speed collisions… Low speed collision = 2mph?

Why have no manufacturer Euro NCAP crash tests been done on the G-Wiz?Neither the Euro NCAP test nor the Dept of Transport UNECE Regulation 94 test are required or recommended under the European regulation for quadricycles. Both tests are designed for M1 vehicles, primarily cars capable of speeds in excess of 100 mph and not low speed urban vehicles… Wow, that’s convenient, avoids any marketing problems.Like all vehicle manufacturers RECC is however constantly reviewing safety features and innovation relative to usage… I feel safer already – as long as the other guy is driving one.

Well, I guess when you post anything slighty critical of Rachel North, you can expect at some point for a member of the Northsquad to show up. I did always say they were welcome but I’m getting pretty tired of the relentlessness of one Anonymous commenter.

Despite claims, I haven’t seen a large boost in traffic coming from Oxford. Oh well, guess I won’t be picking up one of these anytime soon.

Stats… stats… preeeccciiioouus staaats!

I can’t stand comment moderation, I never thought I would have to use it, but after this comment:

“I can see what you are putting forward and it looks to me like an attack on a blogger to get publicity for your own blog by being ‘controversial and doing a bit of victim-blaming. Perhaps you do not care to talk to readers. Perhaps you do not care about your reputation. R clearly does and fair play to her.”

Anything involving Rachel North seems to get serious pretty quickly, so I’m taking steps to ensure this doesn’t escalate.

I seem to have suffered a bit of a comment explosion, at the moment. I may have taken on too many battles at once. I think this blog needs to cool down a bit so I’m going to be posting light humour for a while before I resume Fallible Design, Housing Market Myths and other subjects.

Regular readers, feel free to dribble away till my stats are near death. Alex Fear needs a rest before once again taking up arms against the Philistine hordes.

Moderation will be removed as soon as stupidity levels are reasonably lower.

Actually, I’ll support his stance as long as he promises to take back all the Australians that have invaded Londonland, and promises not to let himself or any other Australians, HIV or otherwise, out of Australia.

“On the wall outside his former residence – flat number 27B – where Orwell lived until his death in 1950, an historical plaque commemorates the anti-authoritarian author. And within 200 yards of the flat, there are 32 CCTV cameras, scanning every move.” – This Is London

I can’t really understand why there are still some people out there that will forward these kinds of things on.

Personally if there was any choice I’d prefer to see the whole Olympics ditched. Sorry, Londonland does not deserve the Olympics much less a mega-mosque. In fact, I’m probably the only person who’d prefer to see a mega-mosque than an Olympic park to be honest.

Here are some qoutes taken completely out of context, since BA is remarking from a “citizen of the world” perspective on appreciating differences. I simply consider it 2nd world standards.

“…a cost of living which is vastly better than that of the UK.”

“Uh, gee. A two bed flat in a nice part of a mostly shit city or a five bed, five bath house with a big yard? It’s a hard decision to make.”

“if you go to the Post Office to get a stamp, they won’t take the letter you are buying the stamp for. Even though you are at the counter and paying for the stamp, you have to take the letter and put it in a post box which can usually be found outside the Post Office itself.”

Note that this happens only in the country of London and not the country of England, where I’m from.

“Look at us here in provincial England with our lilliputian appliances. Aren’t we quaint?”

“We could do without a social care system which rewards you for having three kids by the time you’re 19, or one which pays people more than my salary for being unemployed. I hate how the country seems overrun by a bunch of loutish, drunken idiots, even if you live (or think you live) in a relatively nice place.”

“Never in the US was I accosted by a group of 8 year olds asking me for money so they could go buy cigarettes, nor had I ever witnessed a woman being beaten up by a man on the street in clear view of dozens of pedestrians…”

“If I can raise P. in an environment where she doesn’t have to see men pissing in the streets, I’d prefer to do so.”

A new hero will rise to take on the culture of fear… the transformation is already underway.

Oh and btw I have abandoned TalkTalk. I signed up with Pipex today on the recommendation of this blog. They claim to do it in about 10 days on their website. No doubt CrapCrap will screw my credit rating further when I cancel my direct debit, but it’s a small price to pay.