Etiquette Hell

General Etiquette => Life...in general => Topic started by: Zilla on May 23, 2013, 10:59:21 AM

Title: No solicitors sign
Post by: Zilla on May 23, 2013, 10:59:21 AM

On my main community entrance there is a No Solicitors sign. There is another one as you enter my street. And in fact you have to stop at the stop sign with has the No Solicitors of ANY kind sign next to it before you can turn into my section. But that doesn't deter them. I went ahead and posted my own sign on my door.

It was polite as many I saw were quite rude. Now I am thinking what if they still ring my doorbell. What do I tell them? Do I address the fact that they are ignoring 3 signs and is now rude? Or do the standard, "Not interested, thank you" and close door.

On my main community entrance there is a No Solicitors sign. There is another one as you enter my street. And in fact you have to stop at the stop sign with has the No Solicitors of ANY kind sign next to it before you can turn into my section. But that doesn't deter them. I went ahead and posted my own sign on my door.

It was polite as many I saw were quite rude. Now I am thinking what if they still ring my doorbell. What do I tell them? Do I address the fact that they are ignoring 3 signs and is now rude? Or do the standard, "Not interested, thank you" and close door.

I'm trying to figure out what that sign doesn't cover, but I can't think of a thing.

I would just stick to "not interested, thank you" as anything else is engaging them in conversation. End the conversation quickly and get on with your life.

It's hard to get on with my routine when I had no less than 3 solicitors rang yesterday including one 5 minute before 9PM. I am hoping they don't even ring my bell. But I will be pretty irate if they do ring that bell.

I've gotten to the point that if I don't recognize the person standing on the other side of my door, I just don't answer it (unless they are wearing a delivery company uniform and I'm expecting a package). Even if they can see me through the door. So that's what I would recommend you do. If you do answer the door, I think I would be tempted to say, 'May I have your name and affiliation, please? You have blatantly ignored 3 'no soliciting' signs. I will be reporting you to the police (HOA management, whoever is in power to charge these people).' I'm quite sure they will beat feet in a hurry.

If it is, in fact, someone I know, they should have my number and can call me from the doorstep and ask why I'm not answering the door.

"No soliciting includes you, good day". Then close the door, do not have a single word of dialog with these people! They are being horrifically rude, entitled and intrusive to ignore your sign thinking it doesn't pertain to them when it fact it does.

Many cities have ordinances requiring solicitors to have a permit and a photo ID- which they must carry on their person. Since DH has started grilling solicitors for that as soon as he answers the door, the number who appear on our door step have dropped significantly. ;)

I have three no trespass signs on my property border closest to the street, and a No soliciting sign on the door and I still get people coming to the door. I simply point out the sign at this point and close the door.

At our vacation property we have a long uphill driveway with brambles on either side. At the bottom of the drive is a No Trespassing sign - the gate was open because we were there. The folks on the quad who rode to the top "just wanted to see what was up there". What do you not understand about No Trespassing we asked? After 3 rounds of them repeating the above conversation we gave up and told them not to return. I totally don't understand people.

You joke, Slartibartfast, but I had to do almost exactly that. I tried a variety of signs, including one that said "NO MENUS, SALES, RELIGIOUS SOLICITATIONS" and they would still ring my doorbell! So I put my nice, big dictionary on the hall table next to the door with a page in the S section marked. When they would ring, I would say, "Did you not see the sign?" and they would always reply, "But *we* aren't soliciting! We're just selling magazines/candy bars/talking about Cthulhu!"

That was when I'd hand them the open dictionary and ask them to read me the highlighted entry for "soliciting." Got rid of two church groups and a school who used to bug me almost on a weekly basis before that. >:D

However, there was one kid who, when I indicated the sign, said "I didn't know what that meant." I explained it, and told him whoever was sending him out (I suspect it was one of those shady candy sales deals) should make sure he knew what it meant, because no one who had a sign up like that would appreciate it being ignored and he might actually get reported. I felt bad for him, but I also felt cranky at having my huge work project interrupted at 9pm.

"No, I'm not a solicitor - I just wanted to tell you about (insert solicitation here)."

Seriously, I had a couple come into my office and when they started their spiel I said "I guess you missed the 'No Solicitors' sign on the door."

They became quite rude after that.

I had one tell me he wasn't selling anything but that my friend next door told him I would be...I stopped him and said, "But I just moved in and never met the neighbors. What friend could you possibly be talking about?" He stuttered and spluttered and I said, "They probably meant someone else." and closed the door.

ACK, all those fonts and colors! It's a lot to take in if you are trying to get someone's attention in a short amount of time.

I have a book I read a long time ago by a guy named Paco Underhill who wrote Why We Buy: The Science of Shopping. A fascinating read! In it, he talks about his consulting services and experiences and one of the things he stresses to store owners is that any signs in the window have to say what they say very fast. In other words, shoppers are doing many things as they walk from the parking lot into the store and any sign that doesn't say what it needs to in words that can be read in two or three seconds is useless.

I think it applies to your sign. There is too much going on. Soliciters approaching your door are thinking about whether you are home, assessing your home to see what they can tell about you, deciding how they are going to approach you when they talk, thinking over their last pitch and what went wrong or right, feeling hungry and wondering what they can have for lunch, hoping that you invite them in because their feet hurt and it would be so good to get off them for a while, etc. If you want them to read your sign you have to get their attention, and keep it, long enough for them do so without splitting it among all those concerns, conscious and unconscious, they have. Shorter really is better.

Also, have you considered humor? When I needed a sign for my office door to tell others not to bother me because I was on an editing deadline I initially used "On Deadline. Do Not Disturb." It was effective, but I soon changed it to something that was a bit longer but caught everyone's attention and let them smile. It had a headline in large font "Please disturb if ..." and then below it was, on the left, a picture of a building in flames, and to its right "the building is on fire." Below that on the left was a picture of Robert Redford in his heyday and to the right of that "or Bob is on the phone." Only slightly longer but more effective.

I live in a remote apartment complex that can only be entered from one street with two driveways:

-------- entry --------------- entry -------------- sign sign sign

All three signs say no soliciting, still they knock on the doors. Had one the other night and I refused to open the door. He was very rude and just kept knocking & knocking. I turned the tv up and ignored the knocking.

I would like to open the door and throw a bucket of water on them but I am afraid of the retaliation.

When they would ring, I would say, "Did you not see the sign?" and they would always reply, "But *we* aren't soliciting! We're just selling magazines/candy bars/talking about Cthulhu!"

I would totally invite those folks in! :D

What I would do in the OP's case, however, is go with jedikaiti's version of the sign, then if people still show up at the door, point to the sign and firmly tell them that they're in violation of my stated rules and the rules of my community, then shut the door in their faces.

If I were able to determine that one or more solicitors were repeat offenders, I would find out what organization they were with and file a complaint.

Soooo glad I don't have to deal with stuff like this where I live. What an annoyance!

NO SOLICITINGThat meansNO SELLINGNO BEGGINGNO PREACHINGNO FLYERSNO EXCEPTIONSNot even for YOU!Short, to the point, and explains what "no soliciting" means.

This !

I felt this was rude for me personally. I also thought since they are avoiding the first two signs, a straightforward sign isn't going to work either. I figured the top part was in large enough fonts and the rest is just extra. But thanks for the suggestions!

Am I the only one who thinks opening the door AT ALL, talking, explaining, pointing, etc. is a bad idea? :-\

No, you're not the only one.

If I don't know someone, or don't want to engage with someone I do know, I just don't answer the door. Simple.

I have an outer glass/screened door that is locked first then my front door is locked. So I am able to open my door a crack and speak to them through the glass. If I lived in my hometown, I wouldn't open the door. But here it's a bit different.

Am I the only one who thinks opening the door AT ALL, talking, explaining, pointing, etc. is a bad idea? :-\

No, you're not the only one.

If I don't know someone, or don't want to engage with someone I do know, I just don't answer the door. Simple.

I have an outer glass/screened door that is locked first then my front door is locked. So I am able to open my door a crack and speak to them through the glass. If I lived in my hometown, I wouldn't open the door. But here it's a bit different.

No one can force you to open your door nor is there any rule that says you must.

On a mostly related note, my boyfriend used to work third shift, so he would get really irritated by the Sunday morning door-to-door religious folk. One morning, he’d had enough. He answered the door in his underwear. They, un-phased, asked, “Do you have time to let Jesus into your home?” He, without missing a beat answered, “Yes, Jesus can come in. But you have to wait outside.” And slammed the door.

I almost wish I got a religious solicitor just to use this line.

(I think it’s hilarious, even if I think he probably got the idea from somewhere else.)

You can put up all the signs you want, in 12 different languages, but it won't make any difference. My dad wallpapered his door with all the (same) Chinese menus that were stuffed under it. Didn't stop them.

What might work--eventually--is if you open the door, camera in hand, and take a picture of them and then close the door. These can either be given to the authorities, or posted on the door w/ a big red X thru them, or just kept on file in case your house is burgled.

You can put up all the signs you want, in 12 different languages, but it won't make any difference. My dad wallpapered his door with all the (same) Chinese menus that were stuffed under it. Didn't stop them.

What might work--eventually--is if you open the door, camera in hand, and take a picture of them and then close the door. These can either be given to the authorities, or posted on the door w/ a big red X thru them, or just kept on file in case your house is burgled.

Agree. The décor and language of the sign doesn’t matter one bit. (In this situation they already ignored previous signs before they got to the door).

From a security standpoint, opening the door – even a little bit – can be dangerous. Maybe not at that moment, but it marks you as someone who will engage/interact with them.

My husband just left for an appointment a bit ago and he called me to tell me there was a van with 2 salespersons and their clipboards. So far no doorbell ringing. It at least deterred one.They did accost my husband while he was doing yardwork. He is thinking of getting a shirt made up. I vetoed that one. :P

Have I ever told you about how my family's Aunt L dealt with these things?

One day, some door-to-door evangelists came by - these particular persons were of a variety known for a) being sternly against the consumption of alcohol, and b) believing that Purple people were irredeemably condemned to eHell, salvation not possible. So she answered the door as if in a tizzy, and told them "Oh I'd love to chat, but PurpleReligiousTitle CommonPurpleName is coming for dinner and I don't even have the martinis mixed yet! Bye!"

The next time they came calling, she just looked them. And looked at them. And looked at them. And said nothing. They talked. And talked. And talked. And she just looked at them. Finally, they stopped talking, turned around, and left. I don't believe they returned after that.

She may be burning in EtiquetteHell for her antics, but these stories, and others, have given the family storytelling fodder for generations.

I get the fact that you don't have to open your door to these folks, but I like to have my house opened up for fresh air. This includes my front door opened for the breeze. I should be allowed to have my door open and move around my house and even my yard without someone accosting me.

Last year I had a medium sized sign that just said "no solicitors" on the front door. One day I had my house opened up -including the front door. Music blaring as I cleaned house and my dog hung out in the living room with me. Two young men in dark suits (Insert singing "Hello! My name ...") come to the door and ring the bell. Dog went crazy barking. I was in eyesight of the door, but elbow deep into something I was doing. I just yelled over the music my church affiliation (which generally gets them to shoo) and that I was busy. They still left a track/mini-magazine thing in my door handle.

I had my art friend make me a sign similar to this for my home door. Don't have an image of mine, but same basic wording and about 8x10 inches big. She gave it a really pretty blue and yellow border and VERY large letters for No Solicitors, smaller for the 4 items, and almost as large "No Exceptions". *http://imgur.com/DtKkfFirst test was earlier this week. House all opened up and both cars in the drive. Have no idea what this guy was selling, but he didn't come to the house.

*Full disclosure, I have told my one neighbor with school age kids that they can come talk to me, but I can't always buy. They however are my only exception...especially since they are basically the only kids in the neighborhood.

When we lived in Cali, we had this a lot more often. People ignore signs, for the most part. There was one particularly pushy man who got my goat, though - he was selling pest control services.

He started off on the wrong foot by hitting the doorbell rapidly "dingdongdingdongdingdong" and then pounding on the door - BOOM BOOM BOOM. Then apparently I wasn't fast enough and dingdongdingdongdingdong BOOMBOOMBOOM continued until I got to the door at which point he started launching into his spiel.

I interrupted him to tell him I didn't appreciate the constant pounding on the door and didn't he read the sign? And he said he didn't see it... then he laughed and asked me WHY I had a sign up there and I told him - this is my home, and my home is my place of peace. I don't want to buy anything. He then continued trying to sell me services. I said not interested and began to close the door, he started YELLING that we'd be cursed with deluges of ants converging on my property and I would be overrun by insects if I didn't listen to him and could he speak to my husband?

Yeah, I closed the door in his face. I would have called his company to complain, if I paid attention to the company he claimed to be repping, but I doubt it was legitimate. I've tried to train my husband that it's OK to say "no thank you" and close the door, but he feels obligated to listen to them out of politeness, which raises my ire.

So be prepared for them to not read the sign. In Cali, I had to start checking the peephole first before opening the door - but this guy pounding and ding donging made me open it just to stop the noise - I wanted to hit him with the door by the time I got to it.

MamaMootz, I've had the same thing happen, but only once. I let them go through their spiel, making note of their company logo (Comcast) and remembering their name. Then I looked around. He asked "...what are you doing?"

"I'm looking for the zombie horde that I thought you were running from, as that's the only reason to constantly ring the bell and then pound on my door."

He turned beet red, apologized, and slunked away from the door. I called Comcast and reported him, along with having them take my name off all of their lists and informing them that they're on the bottom of the pile when it comes to deciding a new company when my contract is up with the current one. Now I see the trucks in the neighborhood but nobody comes to my door.

I live in a trailer park that has a "No Solicitation" sign as you enter. Last summer, I was sitting on my front porch when I saw a couple of 'gentlemen' walking up the street with clipboards. ::) Unfortunately, they saw me before I could duck back into my trailer. They launched into a spiel about how they were offering a free security system; the only thing I had to do was agree to put a sign on my lawn advertising their company. I told them that there was No Soliciting in the park and they claimed that they had permission from the park owner and anyways they weren't selling anything. I said I was not interested and sent them on their way. When I got back into my home, I thought of the perfect comeback (isn't that always the way?) They were offering a free security system in return for me advertising for them. How much advertisement did they think they'd get out of a sign placed in a private park with no thru traffic?

(I did consider that it might be a set-up/scam but if it was it was very elaborate as they had company shirts and I was able to find the website of the company online. It was a pretty extensive website, too.)

On a side note, I have noticed that the solicitors from <certain religious organization> have taken to accosting - I mean talking - to people in a local supermarket lot. >:(

The next time they came calling, she just looked them. And looked at them. And looked at them. And said nothing. They talked. And talked. And talked. And she just looked at them. Finally, they stopped talking, turned around, and left. I don't believe they returned after that.

She may be burning in EtiquetteHell for her antics, but these stories, and others, have given the family storytelling fodder for generations.

My sisters and I, when we were pre-teens, used to note when people from Religious Group started making their way down our street. We'd hurriedly set up an altar/shrine in the driveway and pretend to be conducting exotic rituals in worship of whatever deities we felt like making up at the time.

Some of them skipped our house, but not all of them. My father enjoyed inviting in the ones who made it to the door and debating with them at length. They seldom returned.

(I did consider that it might be a set-up/scam but if it was it was very elaborate as they had company shirts and I was able to find the website of the company online. It was a pretty extensive website, too.)

I'd guess that it was a scam - they give you a cheap and not very effective security "system" (maybe a motion detector attached to a siren), which is probably cheaper than actually paying for advertising. People see tons of houses with "X Security System" signs, and assume it's a popular choice.

(I did consider that it might be a set-up/scam but if it was it was very elaborate as they had company shirts and I was able to find the website of the company online. It was a pretty extensive website, too.)

I'd guess that it was a scam - they give you a cheap and not very effective security "system" (maybe a motion detector attached to a siren), which is probably cheaper than actually paying for advertising. People see tons of houses with "X Security System" signs, and assume it's a popular choice.

Another way it can work, the system is free. They install all the sensors and wiring for free. But the system works by being monitored from another location. That monitoring isn't free.

Just out of curiosity...would you consider real estate agents who are just introducing themselves to be a bother as well? For instance, agent knocks on door to say "hello, my name is, if I can help you in any way, please let me know...here's my card."

Just out of curiosity...would you consider real estate agents who are just introducing themselves to be a bother as well? For instance, agent knocks on door to say "hello, my name is, if I can help you in any way, please let me know...here's my card."

Personally yes. And I'd also probably argue that it is indeed soliciting.

Just out of curiosity...would you consider real estate agents who are just introducing themselves to be a bother as well? For instance, agent knocks on door to say "hello, my name is, if I can help you in any way, please let me know...here's my card."

In my opinion, that would be no different from a guy offering to sell shrimp out of a cooler from the back of his pickup.

I don't answer the door if the person on the other side is someone I don't know. Fortunately, I have a peephole rather than a window, so they'd have no way to know that anyone is home. If someone somehow did figure out that I was home and started pounding on the door, I would find my phone and my friend "Glock". I would call 911 and report someone trying to force their way into my house and guard the door until Police arrived.

...any sign that doesn't say what it needs to in words that can be read in two or three seconds is useless.Also, have you considered humor?...Typos!

I'd say my "Go Away" doormat has both of these point covered ;) anyone who knows me well enough to be invited for a visit gets my little introvert joke.

The new trend in our area is people dropping their business cards on the front lawn of every single house in the development. DH and I walk our yellow lab through about 3 miles of neighborhood every evening and at least once a week there's a new business card on every single lawn. I've called 2 of the ones that ended up on our grass specifically to say that we would never be doing business with a company that thought "littering up our neighborhood" was a good way to promote business.

I only open the door to people I don't know when I'm expecting a package. Of course, sometimes it's not a package. I told the woman trying to solicit new clients for her investment firm yesterday that my name was Sally Draper, and my dad was in charge of my investments. I was hoping that the knock meant my new boots had arrived.

My husband, on the other hand, will always open the door. One time, we were expecting guests, and he was about to put a minikeg of beer (about 5 litres) on the buffet, when the doorbell rang. He opened it, while carrying the minikeg, to a couple of individuals from a religion that expressly forbids alcohol. They said they were there to talk about Religion; he held out the keg and said, "Sorry, we're good." I saw them in the neighborhood a few more times, but never at our house.

On a side note, I have noticed that the solicitors from <certain religious organization> have taken to accosting - I mean talking - to people in a local supermarket lot. >:(

I got hit up today at a rest area in northern CA. I am not entirely sure that accosting and annoying people who just want to hit the restroom and walk around a little is effective. Even if I was inclined to listen, this would put me right off. >:(

Some of them skipped our house, but not all of them. My father enjoyed inviting in the ones who made it to the door and debating with them at length. They seldom returned.

My grandma used to invite them in, give them water and lemonade, and argue theology with them. They did keep returning. Possibly because she would let them in and let them talk to her, as long as she got equal time to attempt to convert them to her denomination. :)

I'd guess that it was a scam - they give you a cheap and not very effective security "system" (maybe a motion detector attached to a siren), which is probably cheaper than actually paying for advertising. People see tons of houses with "X Security System" signs, and assume it's a popular choice.

That's why I was sorry I thought of my comeback after they had left. Nobody would see the sign except people coming in and out of the trailer park as it is a private road with no outlet.

I had a long term illness which forced me to be housebound and I got so sick of the people knocking on the door. After one week where there was over 10 people coming to the door I made up my own sign. Hope it is ehell approved.

If you ignore this sign, don't be offended when we shut the door before you finish your spiel.

Three hours after I put the sign up at eye level in the window next to the front door, I saw someone with a clipboard walk up the driveway, stop to read the sign, then walk back down the driveway. Success. A couple of days later I had a couple of guys walk up the driveway, read the sign, then knock anyway. They asked if we didn't want to donate to charity as it wasn't on the list, and I said I was happy to talk to charity workers as long as they understood I would only donate if I wanted to, not because they guilted me into it. They were happy with that and despite me not donating we did have a nice chat.

Since the sign has gone up over 3 years ago, I have had only one person ring the bell that wanted me to swap my phone company. As soon as he started his spiel I pointed to the sign and shut the door. I have occasionally had some religious people ring the bell, but since my neighbour has scared most of them off, we don't get many of them here. And other than my Avon lady that I told to personally ignore the sign, we have been left alone.

I had a guy from a local small garage trying to sell oil change packages. They were a really good price but I wasn't interested. At the time, my Dad did my oil changes for me and never charged me anything, even for the filter and oil. When I said I wasn't interested, that I was happy with where I was getting my changes done, he offered to beat their price. So I asked him, 'Can you beat free?' He kind of paused, then grinned, thanked me for my time and left.

Legally, political and religious canvassing aren't "soliciting." So a soliciting ordinance wouldn't cover those. However, individual homeowners can still forbid those, too.

I agree that a polite sign (an aggressive one is going to be kind of off-putting to people you do want to see!) is the best of you really get a huge number of unwanted strangers ringing your bell. If not, then either politely decline or simply don't answer the door. I don't see what is to be gained by yelling, nastiness, or closing the door in people's faces. I've never had a problem, either at the door or on the phone, with a simple, "Thanks, but we're not interested. Goodbye." And just not answering is fine, too.

Just out of curiosity...would you consider real estate agents who are just introducing themselves to be a bother as well? For instance, agent knocks on door to say "hello, my name is, if I can help you in any way, please let me know...here's my card."

Personally yes. And I'd also probably argue that it is indeed soliciting.

Absolutely! That person has disturbed me in my own home and intruded on my privacy.

When we sold our last home, we vetoed one agency first off because they came around every 2 years (we lived there 34 years, so we knew the company did that).

Just out of curiosity...would you consider real estate agents who are just introducing themselves to be a bother as well? For instance, agent knocks on door to say "hello, my name is, if I can help you in any way, please let me know...here's my card."

Personally yes. And I'd also probably argue that it is indeed soliciting.

Absolutely! That person has disturbed me in my own home and intruded on my privacy.

When we sold our last home, we vetoed one agency first off because they came around every 2 years (we lived there 34 years, so we knew the company did that).

Yes. And especially since we had a house for sale by owner and had numerous ones ring our doorbell to offer us their card and try to sell us as to why we should use them instead of ourselves. And that it was hopeless for us to sell it. Not only did we did just fine with a real estate attorney, we saved ourselves a bundle of money. If you must advertise, use mailings.

The mobile home park that I live in has No Soliciting signs posted on both entrance/exits. I still have had several people come to my door in the last oh, four years or so I've been here. One was selling meat off the back of his truck, the other was a carpet cleaning service. The second was a bit... strange - man and woman come to my door, woman appears massively pregnant and they try to cajole me into carpet cleaning even after I told them I have NO carpets and NO rugs. In both cases, I told them point blank, "This park does not permit soliciting. You need to leave. If I see you here again, I will call the police." And I meant it - I will not hesitate to call the police. I realize that there are some legitimate jobs that call for door-to-door service, but if there is a No Soliciting sign, it's not legal (where I live) for you to ignore it and proceed to bother residents. I don't feel sorry for them because they've broken the rules.

Another factor is that solicitors (or whatever one chooses to call them) aren’t always what they appear to be. Sometimes they're trying to see if the home or apartment is any easy target for a burglary. (No one home, or maybe an elderly person who can easily be overtaken).

Another factor is that solicitors (or whatever one chooses to call them) aren’t always what they appear to be. Sometimes they're trying to see if the home or apartment is any easy target for a burglary. (No one home, or maybe an elderly person who can easily be overtaken).

POD. It's why we told my grandmother, when she was home alone, to ignore the doorbell. If she heard signs of breaking in, she was to call 911 and order the dog to sic. We were more than ready to deal with legal complications of the order to the dog as well.

In 45 years of living on my own, other than the Girl Scouts (who don't count) I've had few solicitors except the religious variety. I've designed many signs over the years, but my favorite has been "We're happy with our religion. Please don't interrupt us to brag about yours."

But we bought a cute little house 15+ years ago now, only yo discover from the knocks on the door at all hours that the former residents had been drug dealers. Finally, I created a sign that said, in big, bold letters "NO DRUGS ~ WRONG HOUSE" It was very effective!

In 45 years of living on my own, other than the Girl Scouts (who don't count) I've had few solicitors except the religious variety. I've designed many signs over the years, but my favorite has been "We're happy with our religion. Please don't interrupt us to brag about yours."

But we bought a cute little house 15+ years ago now, only yo discover from the knocks on the door at all hours that the former residents had been drug dealers. Finally, I created a sign that said, in big, bold letters "NO DRUGS ~ WRONG HOUSE" It was very effective!

I had the opposite. When I moved into a (rented) house when I got my first job after university, our neighbours knocked on the door to say they noticed we'd just moved in, as as neighbours they'd be happy give us a great deal on whatever drugs we might want to buy for our housewarming party.

I told them thanks for the offer, but we didn't plan to have a housewarming party.