"Let's give it a little scootch so you can look at my toys." (as he reorganizes my furniture around his toys)

"But, God told me to!"

"I don't see it, but I know there is invisible hair in the bathtub. So, I need another new water..." (he actually has moments where he completely freaks down because he'll find a hair in the water. Gotta love SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder))

"But, I made it just for you! That was your special surprise!" (the justification for stacking up all of his toys on the kitchen table and not wanting to clear it for dinner)

"It's my collection" (the line of toys that goes throughout the entire house... clearly not interested in moving it)

"But, I was good this morning! So now it's mine!"

When he wants me to buy something. Me: "Caydon, do you have money for X?" Him: "But, I don't have money. Maybe, it's free!"

"Mommy, I need a doggy, and a brother, and a sister, and a daddy to do that!" (his way of talking back and finding an excuse for disobedience)

"But, I have to go potty in your bathroom. It saves us money."

"Muh--ommm! I am an omnivore! That means I only eat meat! So, I can't eat the broccoli or the strawberries because it's against my rules!"

"I will die for Jesus. And someone will kidnap me. And cook me. And eat me. Because you don't like my collection!! All by myself!! IN THE DARK! So, do you like my collection? Or NOT?"

Monday, June 11, 2012

Phew! Two blog posts in one day... just goes to show how busy we have been lately! With the help of my little man who loves to decorate but hates to clean (just like his mommy!), I was able to finish my mudroom to office transformation. Half of the room is wall to wall boxes... all most of my teaching stuff! I unpacked a little bit (which you'll see... I organized ALL of the gazillion papers I had...) and repacked the rest. It was a tiring process, for sure! The wall of boxes will also transform to an organized stash of foster parenting supplies so that I can easily access the goods. So when I get a 6 month old in the middle of the night, I will have clothes, diapers, bottles, food supplies, and a few toys ready to help me out. I'm very excited to start that stash! :)

I wish I had a "before," but just picture a room with an unheard of amount of boxes stacked on eachother. I never had a chance to unpack all of my craft room and photography supplies, and then stacked all of my teaching stuff on top of that mess. Good times!!

This was most the Kate Spade inspired stash that I bought to go with it. I am on a HUGE budget (Dave Ramsey style, mixed with single mom of a boy with autism, teacher budget, and foster parent-to-be. hah!):

Here is the room when you walk in:

Wall of boxes, concealed by that beautiful Ikea curtain. I think I lucked out.. normally, I hate Ikea fabrics! Found that rug at Ikea on clearance. I'd like to go bigger, but it works for now. That apple green chair is also Ikea, and that desk is from my childhood (aka FREE!).

On the desk:

Needs more color... but I love the clear stuff! I would like to add something fun ontop of the corkboard.

As a young single mom, I have been through quite a bit of choices and have consequently experienced a large realm of trials and blessings. I made the choice to raise a child alone, without the option of adoption or abortion (the latter of which I hardly considered... just not my style). I made the choice to not go after child support and to raise Caydon with my own yearning for stability. I have had sleepless days, and days where diapers and food were a struggle. I've spent weeks in the hospital, gone through the stress of not knowing what is wrong with my child, and have been through several diagnoses. I tell you this not to ask for pitty, but to tell you how blessed we are now. I have graduated from college and have found myself in a career that is admirable, secure, and great for our two person family. I have proudly hit the first step in Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover (where you get a decent amount of emergency money saved up). I have made a house turn into a home. I have guided my child through those life changing diagnoses and helped him turn them around. We have been blessed in so many ways; it's nothing less than a miracle.

Which is what leads us to our next chapter in our life.

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy.

Psalms 68:5-6

This was one of many Bible verses that helped us through our darkest moments. God has fathered, provided, defended, healed, forgiven, loved... Caydon and I in every corner of our life. He has made our empty, fatherless house turn into a home that He dwells in. One where His presence fills any gaps and turns around fatherless kids statistics such as how they are:

With knowledge of these statistics, I used to seek a father figure for Caydon rather consistently. I will not lie that I almost married because of what I felt were Caydon's needs. However, I have found that those guys were still not a perfect father and that marrying them wouldn't fill gaps. ONLY God is able to fill gaps. Does this mean that I don't ever want to get married? Does this mean I don't want Caydon to ever have a male to refer to as his father? Saying I don't want these things would be a lie, but God has filled our gaps so well that we are content with our circumstances and are able to be patient with His timing.

I've been praying a lot about it, and I honestly feel that God wants me to focus on the youth of our generation via Caydon, teaching, volunteering in the children's ministry at church, and by foster parenting.

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.

Matthew 18:5

I truly feel that God has blessed my life so much because of my need to be able to help those around me. I hope I'm communicating this effectively and that I'm not trying to say that our life is perfect or snobby by any means. We are far from that. Yet, we have a roof over our head, a kitchen full of food, a car that works, a steady income, and a whole lot of love in our hearts. Considering where others who wear the shoes we have worn are, it feels so merciless to not help them out. There are kids that have never been tucked into bed at night, never been read a story to, never had a full meal, and never heard the simple phrase "I love you." I honestly feel that it is everyone who has been blessed with the above's job to help those who are less fortunate out. Obviously, that is a brave and seemingly impossible statement, but I am confident that it is one that our world needs to hear. I also should state that I don't believe that this love should be mandatory, expected, or government issued.

I think it should be given from our heart with the genuine interest of showing others love.

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.

Isaiah 1:17

I should take the time to say "thank you" to those of you who have helped me, or both of us, out in our times of need. From putting a roof over our head, buying us a meal, visiting us in the hospital, providing Caydon with shoes, diapers, a warm jacket, a car seat, or babysitting Caydon so that I could go to school or work... the list goes on. It's because of the people that I have been blessed by that I choose to pass on this blessing. One child at a time (and ideally more, if that option becomes available to Caydon and I), we are going to be putting roofs over a child's head, providing meals and medical care, clothing, diapering, tucking in, and loving. I believe this will be a simultaneous blessing for the families we help, myself, and Caydon.

Please keep us in your prayers as we embark back into this process.

I am planning on doing a Q&A Part Two continuation of this post, so please be sure to ask whatever question you have and stay tuned. :)

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Phew! What a crazy busy month... I am excited to say that I have made it through with [[most]] of my sanity. I honestly think a lot of the surviving is due to the fact that I have made it a purpose to ignore the to-do list that is coming out of my ears and take a moment to be in His word. It's true that God is a great comforter, provider, and source of strength (just to name a few!)

Alas, here is May summed up in a picture dump:

First up, I was able to hang out with one of my favorite girls from my childhood. (Shout out!!)

She is a few years older than me (though way more exciting... I am def the boring old mom now lol) but she was ALWAYS one of those girls that I looked up to and that kind of took me under her wing. I guess I should say "look" as in present tense, too, because her amazingness hasn't changed since the last time I saw her 8 years ago. Here's to hoping she comes into this desert more frequently!!

Caydon's packing for grandma. I took the AEPA test to finish my certification for teaching elementary, and he stayed with my mom.

Dealing with this:

Anyone know why a 5 year old would have chronic cradle cRap?! We can't get rid of it... we use dandruff shampoo instead of No More Tears, you name it. So weird!! HOWEVER, it totally beats lice! I'll take it!!

Growing Up:

My beautiful little man graduated from preschool!!

Furthermore, I am beginning to think that he "graduated" from his IEP. I can't see him being in the projected self-contained autism classroom... he's progressing like crazy and doing fairly well socially. I've also been battling an IEP that to umm.. remain professional... isn't one that I agree with.

Mother's Day:

4 generations of love! Maternal side <3

The boy who calls me mom.... my biggest blessing!

Sweet present little man made for me! Adorbs!!

Bible Study Playdate Saturdays.. which lead into lunch and play!

His buddies! They are as amazing as their parents... I am so blessed to call them all close friends! (Their mommy is also the lady who baptized me a few months back!)

His first time going on the train around the mall. He's always wanted to, but never been able. :)

<3

Baseball Games:

"Train Ride" over... aka the lightrail. With my hs best friend!

:)

Being Mom:

Teaching about Avengers

Playing Ninja

Optometrist Appointment

Caydon doesn't need glasses like he was projected to! His eyes have actually improved!! This was great news for him... he hates doctors and anything touching his face! It was also great news for me because:

My eyes didn't improve... they actually got worse. Joy! I did, however, buy my first pair of glasses since 6th grade. I clearly love the glasses look on me... ;)

Wedding Weekends:

I let her borrow my sunglasses. I can be a sweet daughter... sometimes. See?:

The family was in town for a wedding weekend. My cousin got married... don't you love how family weddings seem to turn into a weekend rather than just a night? Can't complain the family visits, though!

My last day of my first year of teaching!!!! Did you catch that?!? Yeah... awesome!!!

From my amazing mentor teacher, who is also now a close friend! <3

Going away parties with my classes. I was honest with my students and told them that my chance of returning was slim... I don't want them to think I chose to "abandon" them or something. I did keep it professional, though, and explained this it is how it works being at the bottom of the totem pole. Nothing anyone can do! (Though a family did decide to write me a letter of recommendation.. Such a sweet offer!) As for the job, I am still awaiting a contract, and am praying continuously for patience & a door to open. I am still trying to finish cleaning out my classroom. I have one more car trip left... my poor house exploded with my teaching supplies! I also did interview somewhere, so please keep my in your prayers as I await the news and continue praying for more interviews. Faith is hard, but so worth it!!

Relaxing.

Just kidding!!!

My to-do list still entails:

-tons of professional development classes (8-5 Mon-Fri this coming week!)

-burning/delivering a photography cd

-finding a job!!

-restarting the foster parenting process.. Cay's progress is allowing this to be an option finally!

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About Kelsi

I'm a mommy to a little boy with Autism, ADHD, ODD, and SPD. I'm also a Special Education Teacher and am in the Foster Parenting application process. I do therapy with my son, drive him all over town, advocate and pray for him, research all night, and love him non-stop. I'm also a single mom and a follower of Jesus, who dreams of a guy who will, like me, put God and my son on the top of his priority list. My bucket of life seems to consist of me primarily trying to balance motherhood with a bit of reality, splashed with my personal dreams and aspirations such as photography, teaching, and mentoring, mixed with a lot of faith, even more hope, and an abundance of love. I used to blog under the name Modern Mom, Redefined, but created this blog to write primarily about my ability, or lack of, to balance motherhood and faith with the rest of life. Though you really can't have too much of a good thing...