He talked a lot about art and photography and living in Paris, and how stupid people were to leave France and come to the middle east, and he had a camera and he showed her photos from Thailand, monks dressed in orange smiling and then he asked her”Did you ever see people smile like that here?” and she nodded her head knowing that this was what bothered her the most, how the sun never made people smile, they frowned at her at the coffee shop and only the north african middle aged man from the French bakery would sort of grin and ask how she was knowing she was in control enough not to tell him seeing he was always so busy running the bakery and selling cakes to people who never really knew what they wanted; an orange cake with coconut or a plain chocolate or perhaps small pastries ?

He talked a lot and asked what the dog’s name was and when she answered “shosha” , he laughed and pulled out a pocket book “shosha” by Issac Beshevis singer and she thought how she used to think that the universe was leaving her signs and pointing her towards certain directions and how it was up to her to read the pattern of hidden clues but then she realised after so many failed relationships and disappointing friendships that actually no, there was no clue or secret but that everything in life was as it was, and if it was meant to be, it was meant to be, but sometimes,she had realised like the famous joke about Sigmond Freud, “a banana was just a banana” and a short French middle aged man was just a short French middle aged man reading Beshevis Singer ‘s novel after whom her dog was named but the dog would be there laying at the foot of her bed no matter what and that sort of certaintly is as far as the universe could offer her and she accepted that certainty with two hands and did not take risks anymore on clues that led her to a dead end, or worse, an unsafe place in the woods from which there would be no escape.

Shosha looked up with large brown labrador eyes as if reminding her how she still thought the dog was some sort of reincarnation , she came from the same city as her father and sometimes, she thought , even though her father’s eyes had been very clear sky blue, and were now only memories, she could see something in the dog’s eyes that felt the same safe sort of look he used to look at her without having to say, ” i love you now and i always will”