Let's Pretend we're a direct-to-DVD movie.

I'm Bai Ling, brought into the cast for international sales and currently on the roof.

by Anonymous

reply 2

01/28/2013

I'm Billy Zane, with 119 acting credits (11 films in 2012) and nothing worth watching going all the way back to a forgettable role in Twin Peaks (1991).

If you see my name in the credits, run.

by Anonymous

reply 3

01/28/2013

I'm Corey Feldman, I'm the lead male role. I'm getting paid 50 bucks a day and 5% of the gross earnings for my role as a has been drugged up father. My wife and daughter are both played by Lindsay Lohan (2 bucks a day and 0.01% of gross earnings). We play a dysfunctional family trying to make it in showbiz.

by Anonymous

reply 4

01/28/2013

I'm the cover art. I look just enough like the poster of a Hollywood blockbuster for a frau at the supermarket to buy the DVD.

Cut to her kids faces at home, watching Star Track.

by Anonymous

reply 5

01/28/2013

I'm the female lead's big boobs, which are prominently displayed on the DVD cover of this "erotic thriller"

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