Friday, February 2, 2018

1. The Micromanager Also known as the Control Freak, this administrator usually holds the rank of Guildmaster, and must be present for every single situation the guild finds itself in. Be-it raids, events, or drama mediation, you’ll find this Guildmaster there. You may be wondering where their officers are, and there are two answers to this; They may have never appointed any officers, buying into the mantra of "My guild, All mine, mine mine mine mine mine", or they might have a team of officers growing steadily more and more frustrated as they realize their rank means nothing and their promotions were little more than a pat on the back for being a cheery guildmember. This Guildmaster tends to be a rookie who’s starting up their first guild without gathering any experience officer-ing for another one beforehand, and so have little to no knowledge of how to function as part of an admin team, but can also be the result of a Number 3 having to deal with far more drama than any admin team should have to handle.

2. The Power behind the Throne This is the officer you take all your worries, grievances and questions to. It was evident from the moment you joined the guild that this person was someone the entire guild looked up to and respected, perhaps more-so than the Guildmaster themselves. They’re a good listener, they’re approachable, friendly, knowledgeable, mature, and, most importantly, they have the undivided attention of the Guildmaster whenever they ask for it. They may not have the official rank, and for some reason, they don’t even want it, but it’s clear who the real leader in this guild is.

3. The Parent You’re not exactly sure how they do it; Under their leadership, the guild runs as smoothly as a baby’s behind. They’ve perfected the art of working in a team with their admins; There’s a strict schedule, but it never feels like a chore. Everything…. Functions. What little drama arises is dealt with quickly and efficiently, and squabbling guildmembers are put in their place before they can do any real damage. You really don’t know how lucky you are to have this person around.

4. The Undercover Looter It’s the horror story told around virtual campfires at the darkest point of the day/night cycle; the tale of the smiling snake who cried crocodile tears. You thought they were a model guildmember; friendly, welcoming… They helped with officer tasks without being asked, they were loyal, respectful… Of course, you promoted them. Who wouldn’t?

Oh, but woe be you. For you’ve fallen for a lie.

No sooner have they achieved the rank of officer, or, god forbid, if your naiveté got the better of you, Guildmaster, before they ransack the guild bank, kick the entire roster and disappear into the aether.

You’ll never see them, or any sign of your precious guild, ever again.

5. The Grizzled Veteran They’ve seen it all, and it haunts them; They’ve watched guilds fall, friendships die, and communities vanish. They wander from game to game, doing officer work here and there, searching for something which will compare to their memories of the golden age of their favourite guild, but they’ll never find it. The saddest part is that they have the experience to build something great, but never again will they touch the cursed rank of Guildmaster. That ship has sailed. They’ll do their job, but there’s an element of hopelessness to their actions, like they’re mourning the loss of a loved one. Eventually, they’ll fade away, finally done with the guild life, and you’ll never see them again.

6. The Real-Life friend Pretty self-explanatory. They got their rank by being a good friend in real life to the Guildmaster, and there’s two ways this can go; you’ll either never see hide nor hair of them, and this won’t be an issue, because everyone’s happy. They’re not getting in the way, and the Guildmaster feels good for rewarding their friend. The second scenario, however, is guild-crushing; Having earned their promotion in real-life, rather than in-game, they have next to no experience, and, while only trying to help, their feeble attempts at mediating arguments will only stoke the fires of conflict until drama consumes the guild.

7. The Nice Guy This person’s seen the way the Power behind the Throne operates, and they’re doing their best to follow the exceptional example being set, but they’re missing that mysterious gravitas which makes their idol so respectable. They do their best to be everyone’s friend, but they don’t have the stern manner which is often needed to pacify riled-up guildmates. They try, bless their soul, but they’ll quickly be overwhelmed.

8. The Ghost Where the fuck did the Guildmaster go?

9. The Rookie They don’t know the first thing about being a guild leader or admin, and because of that they’ve spam-invited three-hundred odd randomers to boost the ranks of their guild. It’s only a matter of time before this balloon-of-a-guild pops under all the pressure.

10. The imminent Mental Breakdown This is what happens when the micromanager finally realizes they’ve stretched themselves too thin. They’ll ultimately devolve into a screaming, crying mess, and the guildmembers will never respect them again. Luckily, however, this is a learning curve. Like the caterpillar becoming a butterfly, they’ll emerge from this experience as the Power behind the Throne of a new guild as their new Guildmaster dispenses untold wisdom, grooming them for the day when the leader will finally become “The Ghost”, and the Power behind the Throne will become “The Parent”.