Steve Martin Should Host the Oscars; A Bilingual Tribute to Gary Carter

We realize there's only so much time one can spend in a day watching new trailers, viral video clips, and shaky cell phone footage of people arguing on live television. This is why every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention. Today: Steve Martin reminds of what we'll be missing during Sunday's Academy Awards, a lengthened version of the Breaking Bad credits sure to delight chemistry fans, and Montreal's hockey fans salute Expos legend Gary Carter.

We asked a similar question last week, but are we positive it's too late to get Steve Martin to host the Oscars on Sunday? Billy Crystal has had three months to prepare, but we'd much rather see what Martin can come up with in five days. (Ideally, it would involve the Los Angeles modern art scene and a silly doctor who falls in love with Sissy Spacek's brain.) It's not that we dislike Crystal: we just think we know what he's going to say. Whereas if you digitally insert Martin into a scene from The Tree of Life, we're confident he'd come through with appropriately dry and knowing line about how this will teach Terrence Malick to cut him out of The Thin Red Line. Aren't such things arranged in Hollywood everyday? Ah, well: enjoy Martin performing a new song with his bluegrass band the Steep Canyon Rangers. If you feel inspired later, maybe pitch some jokes about the dating habits of the dog from The Artist. Call it a hunch, but that seems like a well Crystal will want to come back to. [Rolling Stone]

Breaking Bad is a terrific show with a terrific opening credit sequence. Unfortunately, it doesn't show the entire periodic table. This is a problem if you'd rather watch the atomic symbol for Yttrium digitally rendered than, say, the latest rampage from the Cousins. Thankfully, viral videos don't make us choose general opening credit excellence at the expense of narrative. [JamesMontalbo via The A.V. Club]

This small child clearly wants LeBron James to participate in the slam dunk contest at the NBA all-star game this weekend, but we like how he goes about persuading him. No tantrums, just subtle undermining. It's up to James to connect the dots and realize that sitting in a luxury hotel with his peers is not what the most beloved athlete in the country does. Of course, James is not particularly beloved anywhere except his own mind, and this young fellow knows it. But he also knows James is a thunderous dunker and he's willing to put up with someone he doesn't particularly enjoy if it means a night of rim-shaking entertainment. [Complex]

The Montreal Canadiens assembled a touching, bilingual tribute to former Expos catcher Gary Carter, who died last week at the age of 57. The 11-time All-Star was the first player to be enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame wearing an Expos cap. The outpouring of affection from the crowd was as unexpected as it was moving, and we didn't even understand the parts that were in French. [Daboy1215 via Los Angeles Times]

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.

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Ray Gustini is the author of Lucky Town, a forthcoming book about sports in Washington, D.C. He is a former staff writer for The Atlantic Wire.