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Hattie this is awful! I have a bad back and know how you feel hon. Poor you. It's terrible when your back is jacked up. Some things I do when I'm this way and use to have to wait to go to the chiropractor. Ice is a good thing. I have a gel icepack, but you can do the homemade kind too. Try for 30 minutes at a time. I also use tiger balm, it's similar to icy hot, but I like it better. Also, Ibuprophen can help too. I hope your chiropractor gives you some relief. I know all your doc will do is give you pain pills, but since you still have a couple days to go, you may want to go ahead to the doc and get those pills. There is no need to lay there and suffer like that. Hope you get better soon :)

when i was running those rapes kinda surfaced and troubled my breathing. it was what i guess an asthma attack might feel like. i stopped for a few seconds to calm down and focus on regulating my breathing. cried a little.
then the job thing.

I'm feeling pretty okay today but I just wanted to say that I was skimming this thread, catching up on a month or so of you guy's broken bodies (I hope you are all better or getting better) when I found out that Fano got laid and Irina is really into puddles but not poodles.

This is the most informative thread in the forum.

And I'm surprised Irina doesn't like Gervais. Like really surprised. I'd never given it any consideration in my life but now that it has been revealed, I'm utterly shocked.

I finally got a response from the girl I slept with who has been ignoring me. Her excuse is busy with work. Whatevs.

Also, speaking of puddles and poodles, through a strange but hilarious accident of translation, I found out that the German word for liquid manure is Puddel. It's pronounced in German like Poodle, but looks like puddle, and liquid manure as puddle is grossly hilarious.

I'm occasionally troubled by my memories of being raped, etc. today it caused me throat to constrict. the running combined with the sobs made my throat tighten in a way I hadn't experienced before. I did finish my run though, after I settled down. (I sang that relax baby be cool song by stereo total and envisioned that French actress making pretties for the camera)

what still bothers me today about those incidents is that I had been sexually abused in my home and occasionally outside of it for years prior. I think that sexual servitude made me broken so that when the young men attacked me, other than say no repeatedly and trying to keep my clothes on my body, I did not fight or run. I just laid there like something dead.
please consider teaching your daughter how to fight.

6 yrs ago? when I worked at goodwill, I saw one of those men. he was a customer. it was very uncomfortable. he tried to talk to me. it's been a long time ago now, years since I said this here, but the gf of that guy thought that I willingly fucked him. she attacked me at a school dance when I was 14. funny thing was that I actually had a crush on her. what a nightmare. she also came by my house (she had $ & a car) and screamed whore slut etc. I wasn't home, but my mother told me someone stopped by... I wonder if the child molester was home for it too. there's some new shame that hadn't occurred to me before.

same guy also raped my sorta step sister (who overdosed at 27) when she was 13. within a year she was pregnant by a municipal firefighter. his daughter the one she left behind.

the serial rapist I worked with is in prison now for kidnapping/raping that young lady. I think he's still there.

I finally got a response from the girl I slept with who has been ignoring me. Her excuse is busy with work. Whatevs.

Also, speaking of puddles and poodles, through a strange but hilarious accident of translation, I found out that the German word for liquid manure is Puddel. It's pronounced in German like Poodle, but looks like puddle, and liquid manure as puddle is grossly hilarious.

Well, I think? The Austrian girl I met was trying to find the translation into English for poodle, spelled it Puddel, and then told me that meant "liquid manure." She showed me the screen shot, too. I didn't think to independently verify, because the lolz were abundant.

It's five in the morning and I can't sleep so I'll bring out my complainy face. I got my tooth implant yesterday and part from the actual hammering that occurred in my mouth it was okay... Ish. Okayishishish. Now only liquid food the next few days, soft food the next four weeks and NO blowing your nose for the next three weeks !!! I should either just let it run or suck it up.
Ugh.

I'm occasionally troubled by my memories of being raped, etc. today it caused me throat to constrict. the running combined with the sobs made my throat tighten in a way I hadn't experienced before. I did finish my run though, after I settled down. (I sang that relax baby be cool song by stereo total and envisioned that French actress making pretties for the camera)

what still bothers me today about those incidents is that I had been sexually abused in my home and occasionally outside of it for years prior. I think that sexual servitude made me broken so that when the young men attacked me, other than say no repeatedly and trying to keep my clothes on my body, I did not fight or run. I just laid there like something dead.
please consider teaching your daughter how to fight.

6 yrs ago? when I worked at goodwill, I saw one of those men. he was a customer. it was very uncomfortable. he tried to talk to me. it's been a long time ago now, years since I said this here, but the gf of that guy thought that I willingly fucked him. she attacked me at a school dance when I was 14. funny thing was that I actually had a crush on her. what a nightmare. she also came by my house (she had $ & a car) and screamed whore slut etc. I wasn't home, but my mother told me someone stopped by... I wonder if the child molester was home for it too. there's some new shame that hadn't occurred to me before.

same guy also raped my sorta step sister (who overdosed at 27) when she was 13. within a year she was pregnant by a municipal firefighter. his daughter the one she left behind.

the serial rapist I worked with is in prison now for kidnapping/raping that young lady. I think he's still there.

I'm occasionally troubled by my memories of being raped, etc. today it caused me throat to constrict. the running combined with the sobs made my throat tighten in a way I hadn't experienced before. I did finish my run though, after I settled down. (I sang that relax baby be cool song by stereo total and envisioned that French actress making pretties for the camera)

what still bothers me today about those incidents is that I had been sexually abused in my home and occasionally outside of it for years prior. I think that sexual servitude made me broken so that when the young men attacked me, other than say no repeatedly and trying to keep my clothes on my body, I did not fight or run. I just laid there like something dead.
please consider teaching your daughter how to fight.

6 yrs ago? when I worked at goodwill, I saw one of those men. he was a customer. it was very uncomfortable. he tried to talk to me. it's been a long time ago now, years since I said this here, but the gf of that guy thought that I willingly fucked him. she attacked me at a school dance when I was 14. funny thing was that I actually had a crush on her. what a nightmare. she also came by my house (she had $ & a car) and screamed whore slut etc. I wasn't home, but my mother told me someone stopped by... I wonder if the child molester was home for it too. there's some new shame that hadn't occurred to me before.

same guy also raped my sorta step sister (who overdosed at 27) when she was 13. within a year she was pregnant by a municipal firefighter. his daughter the one she left behind.

the serial rapist I worked with is in prison now for kidnapping/raping that young lady. I think he's still there.

There is absolutely no reason for you to feel ashamed of what happened to you. None of it reflects on you as a woman or a human being. It wasn't your fault.

I know saying that sounds hollow when considering the lack of control we have over our feelings.

It wasn't your fault.

I understand the terrible feeling of running into ones attacker in public as well as the feeling of those adults who were supposed to protect you not doing so.

There was man in my moms circle of friends who put his hands on both my sister and I, it began on Thanksgiving day when I was ten and went on for the better part of a couple of years. It always happened when there was many adults around, just in the other room. He never touched my private parts, but every where else. Once I was laying on my stomach on the floor playing a video game alone and he came and laid down on me with his entire weight and just crushed me with his body for a few minutes.

When my sister finally freaked out one day because someone mentioned he was coming over at a get together, the women cornered her and confronted her. She finally admitted what was going on at which time the women confronted and interrogated the rest of the young girls, including me, demanding to know if she was lying. Then we were told NOT TO TELL OUR MOTHER, as there was No Reason to Ruin A Mans Life over one drunken night.

Ruin a mans life.

One drunken night.

The abuse did stop. But he never left the circle of friends. For years I saw him at the homes of people I knew and at every public thing any of us went to. I stopped being silent and got angry finally in my teens.

It isn't your fault. It was never your fault. There is no shame on you as a person for what happened.

my favorite childhood bf, I told her a little about what was going on. did her older sis overhear me? not sure now. but she was very angry and started badgering me to tell her about it. she said i'll call the police. I will. i'll do it. blah blah blah i understood that would mean they would take me from my mother though. she wouldn't hold a job. i was was her stamps/tanf $. that and whatever her bf felt like sharing. anyway, i ended up having to tell people i adored and admired that i lied about what was going on. then my own mother telling me i misunderstood what was going on...

my big sis was 13 or something when she got a job delivering papers. (she is so neat. still think that is amazing. my sister earning her own $!) she had to go to people's homes to collect. there was a man who lived across the road. he came to door nude to seduce my sister. she told our mother. nothing. she probably still had to collect from him. i'll ask her next time i see her.

the primary man who molested me left our house for a different lady (i was ~16). a lady who naturally had a 5 year old daughter, approximately the age i was when he got with my mother. when i was 19(?) i moved into something like shelter to get out of my mom's house. finally i reported him to the police. it was HORRIBLE. they sent two handsome young men. i had to tell them. if only i could have written it out, the humiliation factor would have been reduced by half.

as far as i know, nothing came of it. other than his relatives said i did it bc i was angry about him leaving our house and taking his money with him. i'm so glad he's dead. cancer. at least he can't hurt any new people.

I had a migraine yesterday and feel pretty crap today too. I'm currently riding the crimson narwhal so I think I'm just being completely beaten up by it. May or may not throw up everywhere, I'm too hot, everything fuck off.

I kinda wish Narwhal was my problem right now. I have the opposite problem.. no sign of any narwhal, for months.
And no, I'm not pregnant. Today I had a blood test so they can check my hormones and I have to have an ultrasound on Friday to check everything inside is ok. Hopefully it's just a hormonal imbalance and not cysts or something. :/

I've been having headaches for the past few days and it also feels like a toothache, but I can't feel anything wrong if I press my gums. I've set up an appointment with my GP for Monday to see what's up, though. I don't get this kind of headaches and they never last this long.

I have glasses, and I got my eyes checked in January. Definitely not that, like I said, it feels like a toothache, but last time I got that I went to the dentist, got an X-ray and nothing showed on that. I'm not sure what it is this time, but it's really annoying.

Saturday i was hungover and i started the day by pulling a muscle in my calf which was excruciating, then later i was cooking bacon and i left the fork in the hot grease and then used to it taste the eggs and nicely burned my lip with it, then finally i was on the back porch and a bug flew directly into my eye and under my eyelid, which stung for 15 minutes. It was not a good day.

When I was 10 or so, a moth flew into my dad's ear. It was the scariest 3 minutes of my life. I'd never heard my dad whimper like that before or since.

Apparently everyone sounds like a small frightened girl when there's a large bug crawling deeper and deeper into your ear.

What happened? Did it just crawl back out?
I used to read magazines with stories like this in, some girl had a moth in her ear for months! She thought she was deaf! Awful stuff, I'd probably just fly straight over to Dignitas if a moth went in my ear.

What happened? Did it just crawl back out?
I used to read magazines with stories like this in, some girl had a moth in her ear for months! She thought she was deaf! Awful stuff, I'd probably just fly straight over to Dignitas if a moth went in my ear.

I had to google Dignitas. That's my thinking too.

My mom almost had to hold him down and spent a few minutes (minutes!) trying to get it with her fingers. That didn't work so she eventually got her phone flashlight and some tweezers and pulled it out that way. She's good under pressure. I was freaking out and I think neither my father or I would've made it alive if we were home alone.

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