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Thursday, June 01, 2006

Dirty Cops, Fish, and Drunk British People

Of course in Florida, a state known for bikini wearing hotties and the neverending supply of old people, a policeman would get caught not for bribery or murder or extreme corruption, but this. It actually wouldn't make too bad of some kind of wierd porn site, but you'd probably have to move the Krispy Kreme box and Klan hood out of the way of his camera.

And in even more INCREDIBLE news, an aquarium marks 2 million visitors! Yes, that is this many: 2,000,000. Sweet, huh? Flipper and Shamu would be pleased. Hope everyone rememebers that their blowholes are for "breathing," not what Monika Lewisnky is so famous for.

Gotta respect someone famous for giving oral. That is one power infested wee-wee ol' Billiam Clinton has dangling. Blowhole is a funny word, though. Wonder what Elton is thinking about...

Above: Sassy Sir contemplates cylindrical dinner with mayo garnish

But still, British people could apparently out drink him. Wood stained teeth, powdered wigs, and hairy women all hail from the country that wishes they were us. It is common for we Americans to be hated, mocked, and believe it or not, ADORED. Americans know how to drink, too, Brits. Don't hide behind those phony numbers.

But now back to your lives people. Facebooking, checking you university e-mail accounts, sleeping, eating, having a dashboard camera film you while drinking with British people in a really popular aquarium with a blue dress with Bill milk on it, and just hanging out.

That is all for today. Head to mission control for debriefing and send all of your attractive nude pictures here. Goodbye, dear children.

AND OH NO!!After finding out the I am absolutely disgusted that when searching for the Tuesday Times you find all of these really annoying, stupid fucking journalists and a plethora of other unfunny bullshit, I have decided to change the Tuesday Times name. I know, many of the readers that have been around since the first issue might not like this idea, but it has to be done. This also means that Frank Duprosti, famed creator of the site, is legally changing his name to Nick Duprosti. The new site will have the same content and layout, but as you can now see in your address bar, it is now "http://getthenickin.blogspot.com ." Sorry for any inconveniences, but I am the only person that I want to pop up when I search for stupid fucking unfunny annoying bullshit. Cock.