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Thursday, May 27, 2010

I Just Don't Get It: The SATC Crazies

This shit is just ridiculous smh.

'GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!!' These are the words I wanna scream from the rooftops every time I read a tweet or hear ladies going on and on and freaking on about Sex and The City 2. As if the first movie wasn't enough of a ball of fuckery, they've decided to beat a dead horse and make a second film. My thing is, when you cross the line and make something that is just supposed to entertain you (and I use the term 'entertain' loosely) into your mantra and life-guide, there's a serious problem there.

These SATC Crazies remind me of Trekkies. Remember how we all used to make fun of them for adopting the Star Trek way of life into their own? This is the exact same thing, but instead of sporting a set of Spok ears, these mindless drones are drinking Cosmos and wearing designer clothes (or knock-offs for the SATC Crazy on a budget). How is it cooler to be a SATC Crazy than a Trekkie? Both are obsessed with fictional characters and are slightly out of touch with reality, so they're pretty equal in my eyes.

Now, I openly admit that I saw the first SATC movie, mostly because I was once a fan of the show (before the shallowness and other various bullshit got to be too much). However, I found the first movie pretty much a waste of time. I'm glad I caught it on cable and didn't pay $10 to sit in a cold theater with the Crazies, because I would've been PISSED! The latest installment of SATC prommises to be full of the same foolishness as the first, but instead of being set in NYC, they'll be overseas in the Middle East.

As you see in the pic posted above, these bitches are gonna be in the desert in Manolos and crazy expensive and elaborate clothes. Seriously?! First off, it's about a zillion and one degrees in the desert, so I doubt ANYONE is out there trying to be that cute. Sure, you wanna look nice wherever you are, but fuck that shit. If I'm going to the desert, I'm not gonna be waring some hot ass leggings. Those things cook your cooch like a roast in the oven. And I DAMN sure am not wearing a dress if I'm gonna be riding a funky ass camel. Like seriously, even the weathliest folks I've seen in pictures and whatnot are wearing simple, understated stuff in the desert. I mean, it's the fucking DESERT!! No one is paying that much attention. Hell, there aren't even any other folks out there, just camels, scorpians, and God knows what other creatures.

Point is, get your life together, ladies. Why would you want to model yourself after a group of women that have no depth to them? Carrie, although I'd kill for her shoe collection, is no one I wanna be. Sure, she's a successful writer like I aspire to be, but the rest of her is as messy as an episode of Maury. Plus, she's not even that cute! I get so tired of hearing about her and seeing these dumb chicks going into debt to be like here it makes me crazy. YOU ARE NOT CARRIE, CHARLOTTE, SAMANTHA, OR MIRANDA!!!! LET IT GO ALREADY!!!!

Oh, and while I'm at it, let me address something I have to put a stop to immediately. Heterosexual males, there is no reason whatsoever for you to be quoting ANYTHING from SATC. If you went to see it, whatever. But for you to be on Twitter quoting the film like a woman does, you're gonna set off someone's gaydar. I just can't with any of that, especially when it's the guys that swear they're the hardest, most masculine men out there. Dude, your pussy's showing, so pull your skirt down.

I'm sure I'm going to get massive unfollows and ugly tweets over this blog post, but I'm not worried. Someone had to stand up for the non-SATC Crazies. I just have an issue with anything that deludes women and gives them false hopes and goals to reach, but maybe that's just me.