Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Relationships Severed Through Telecommunications

A.v.E

I am writing to inform you that any potential future relations (romantic or plutonic) between us are officially impossible. I am also requesting that you never call/email/speak to me again. I’m shocked that you thought you could slyly dupe both [redacted] and I (consecutively) into believing you to be harmless and well intentioned, when in reality you are a relatively awful character.

(There was a lot more here. It was pretty redundant and is being excised for length.)

I am not offended that you didn’t want to have a relationship with my friend (that just makes you crazy, not an asshole); the real kicker is the ridiculous manner in which you have treated her since. How terribly typical you are. What nerve to accuse [redacted] of acting immaturely when in reality it is YOU who are behaving like a stunted boy, taking your cues from movies and being completely insensitive to what is appropriate in real life. I’m baffled by how you can treat people in the manner in which you have, you emotionally casual bastard. Unfortunately, because you have been revealed to be so wretchedly inhumane and soulless, you and I can now no longer be friends, as any friendship between us would mean my dishonesty about how angry I am with you. I do not condone your actions and thus revoke my good will towards you. I expect to relate cordially to you in social situations for the convenience of all involved, but anything beyond that is unimaginable.