I was riding Gypsy the other day and realized that my legs are for sure NOT my strongest muscles in my body. I tried to kick ass and pump it up one of the neighborhood hills and here came the asthma that I forget I have. I made it though!

I remember my legs feeling like this after riding my bike across town when I was a teenager. I would get off after riding quite a long distance and they would feel like they were ready to go out from under me.

When I lived in Arizona I didn’t feel it as much as I do here in CA. Arizona is flat and easy. At least it was in the town that I lived in. When I did hit the occasional hill, I didn’t think much of it.

My conclusion is, that I need to keep working up those hills. I have 2 in particular that I am going to work my way into. They are very intimidating to me. I think it will be good for my lungs to strengthen them as well and work my way up to the steeper ones.

I’m going to keep on pumping and working these legs of mine. I can’t be outdone by the individuals that are double my age and kick ass every day. Ha! They. Are. Awesome!! 🙂

Some days I really want to paint. Lately I haven’t. Actually, not in several, several months.

I started painting, because I thought I would try another artistic outlet for myself since I am not good at any other artsy things. Every time I do paint, it is like I am learning all over again. It is different every time and I love it. It relaxes me. Focuses me. Brings me calm.

I have the images in my mind, but as that image goes through me and down my arm and out my hand with an art utensil of any kind, it usually looks like a kindergartener did it. Seriously!

Some days I think of selling some of my paintings. Well, the ones that I actually don’t hide in the closet, which is most of them. I do show them to friends when asked. I mostly just give them to friends as gifts. If someone likes one, it is usually going home under their arm.

I do have a couple that I really liked, and those went to special people in my lives. If they hate them, I guess they can hide them in their closet too. LOL!

My Husband has had a request in for some time now of an Arizona stormy sunset. I have several photos, just haven’t tried it yet. I’ve never really taken the clouds on and they seem a bit intimidating. I really need to do it just for him.

Sometimes I paint something, because it reminds me of someone. Like sunflowers remind me of my Niece, Jennifer.

I thought that I would share some of my paintings today. They are all oil on canvas. Some you may like and others you may not. Same as me. I am my own worst critic. 🙂

Have you ever had that feeling that something is totally out of your hands? Well, I never have, until recently.

I have been wanting desperately to move back to California for over 3 years now. I don’t have a daily job that brings in a major income. My Husband is the provider in our family at this point in our lives. I love being home with my children and would not want to change that for anything in this world. For the first time in my life though I have been unhappy. Not unhappy in a bad way. Not unhappy with my wonderful life. Just unhappy that I feel like I have absolutely no control of this particular situation. A huge situation in my book.

To be able to move our household of 7 my Husband would need to find a new job in California, or be transferred. That hasn’t happened. Again, out of my control. I can’t find the job for him. There are days that I think maybe I should just go ahead and find a job. Yes, I’ll do it! Then I think it through. No more going on field trips, no more getting them off to school, no more being here when they call home and they are sick, hurt, or have forgotten something at home they need at school. No more helping with homework, etc., etc. I don’t like that. I don’t like that at all. Back to the starting line.

I just don’t work this way. If there is something that I really want to do, I do it, or find a way. Unfortunately, in this situation, I haven’t been able too and am at a total loss. Is is maddening! Depressing! Frustrating! Irritating! Some days I just can’t understand, or maybe don’t want too, why we can’t just go! Figure it out as we go. In the past when I worked full-time, when ever I wanted to move, I just looked for a place and did it. If I needed a new job I would find it. I know that times are supposed to be different right now, but I still just can’t believe it!

I use positive thinking all the time. Positive thoughts, affirmations, etc. Really. I do it! Still nothing. I am even a true believer that everything happens for a reason. Lately I have been questioning that as well. I don’t want to be in Arizona any more. Don’t get me wrong, I have some good friends here. Yes, they would be missed. But, I’m done. That does NOT mean that I am giving up hope though. I am going to continue trying to figure out a way. Think those positive thoughts and put them out into the universe. I am not weak. I have perseverance and I will not stop until I get there. Sometimes this has to come with some harsh realizations, but when you feel this strongly about a situation you just have to go for it! 🙂

I am feeling pretty proud of myself sticking to something that is so good for me. Last night was my 9th Bikram Yoga session in 12 days. I am still a bit sore, but definitely not as much as when I first began.

Last night my friend Elizabeth, her Son and I went together. The room was hot. I immediately started to sweat. It felt great! I could feel my muscles start to loosen up. I felt strong in my practice. A little wobbly, or nauseous at times, but strong. I can feel the change finally starting to happen. I can’t wait to see what I will be feeling like after my 20th day.

I plan on only missing Thursday, Saturday and Sunday this week. I will be in Sedona with my Husband for Saturday and Sunday, so I think that is a pretty good excuse. I think 4 out of 7 isn’t too bad either. Still perfect to stay in check and with a healthy program.

I keep having people tell me how they are scared to go due to the heat, sweating, etc. I keep telling them it is all normal and once they go and then go back again a few times it will become addicting. They will feel amazing. Can you tell I have found something new that I really like? 🙂

I started my morning with my favorite breakfast today. Well, not entirely my favorite, but It will do. I’ve replaced my Everything bagel with a wheat Bagel Thin. I love a bagel with a small amount of cream cheese, capers and salmon. Makes me so happy. Oh the little things!!

What I’m REALLY excited about today is starting back with my Bikram Yoga practice. I was able to post on Bikram Hot Yoga Studio Tempe Facebook page and find someone to carpool with. Tonight we head out for our first session together. 6:15 p.m. tonight and I just can’t wait until it gets here!

What am I looking forward to you might wonder? I am looking forward to the heat of the room and how great it makes me feel. Relaxing my muscles and sweating out the toxins. I am looking forward to deepening my flexibility. Working my muscles and joints and hoping to relieve some pain I have been having. I am looking forward to the pounds that will hopefully start to melt off if I do my practice as often as I can each week. I am looking forward to being around others that love yoga like I do, maybe even a little more. I am looking forward to bringing my calm self back to where she belongs. Bikram is beneficial in so many ways. I am also looking forward to the quiet, well except for the instructor that is.

After getting my Bountiful Baskets on Saturday I have been enjoying all of my healthy meals and snacks. I started yesterday (Tuesday has always seemed to be my day to start anew) eating every 2 to 3 hours and already went down 2 pounds. Feels good to have so many fruits and veggies back in the house.

So my weight today is 180.2. Up a couple of pounds from when I got back from vacation 2 weeks ago. The good thing is that I know exactly why though and I am not going to be hard on myself. I just got back into eating more regularly, which is what my problem is, apparently I don’t eat enough and as often throughout the day to keep my metabolism going. Just eating right and more regular yesterday just goes to show that I need to keep it up.

I am excited to watch the changes that occur within myself and Blog about them as the weeks go by. I am hoping that this will be exactly what I have been needing to move forward for a better lifestyle for myself. For my body, soul and mind… don’t forget my emotions and hormones too! 🙂

I just got back Sunday from being in California with my 4 Boys and my friend Rita. I will talk about my trip in another blog post. Anyway, I have decided to get back on track today, then decided to wait until the weekend. My Bountiful Baskets order will be in on Saturday and I am plum out of everything else right now except for a couple of apples and oranges.

I didn’t eat badly on my vacation. I just didn’t eat very regular. I didn’t gain and I didn’t lose either.

I am haven’t been out of control by any means this week since I have been back. Unfortunately, since the pantry and fridge are pretty null and void of many fruits and veggies I have been having a handful of regular snacks here and there. Just a handful though. Nothing crazy. I have been hungry though, which is a good sign for me. Instead of grabbing a handful of pretzels today I reached for an apple and put 2 tablespoons of peanut butter on a plate. I’ve never had the two together, but it is really so yummy! Thanks to my OC girlfriend that I was able to see over the weekend and on our way back from N. California. I just never thought of putting the two together. Yum!

I’ve been able to keep the 10 pounds off that I lost,which I am happy about. On the other hand I realized that I am TERRIBLE with keeping goals for myself. You would think that I would have come to terms with this years ago, but no. I just did and just admitted it to myself. HA! First step right? Right! So, I am going to start with baby-steps… I am going to shoot for another 10 pound loss. I don’t have a goal date perse… just that I need to lose 10 more pounds this year then I will take it from there. I think that is very reasonable. 🙂