I think in the back of my mind I knew she was going to leave us. She
told me. She said 'something terrible is going to happen' I just
didn't put two and two together in time. Everyone was at the funeral.
Even Logan. I was surprised to see him there. He was there for Rogue
I suppose.

Rogue. She's a wonderful girl. Sat for her finals and is now a
teacher here. We needed a new one now that... I think Logan has some
crazy notion that I'm trying to take his place with her. That's not
true. I'm just grateful to her. She's the only one is this whole
place that doesn't treat me like some sort of invalid. Like I'm going
to break at any moment.

I had a feeling that Logan was going to take off some time soon. It
wasn't his 'style' to stick around. Even when she needed him most.
She knew it too and was miserable. I hugged her and told her I wasn't
going anywhere.

After Jean died everything changed. Everything

We returned to a newly renovated Mansion and classes continued as per
usual, except for Jean's. After a while Rogue began to teach some of
her classes and i found myself listening outside the door. Just to
hear the words I've heard Jean say for some many years.

"Ok, so I want all your definitions on my desk by Monday morning, no
excuses please. Have a nice weekend"

I was listening to Rogue teach. She is a good teacher. Firm but fair.
Kind but keen. Just like Jean.

I heard Logan start talking and decided it was best to leave then. I
wanted to talk to Rogue. To thank her for being there. To thank her
for being my friend. It could wait. Hopefully Logan would tell her I
was looking for her. Suddenly I caught a whiff of White Musk. Jean
wore White Musk. I could feel the heartache welling up inside me.

Later I was sitting alone in my room when Rogue found me.

"Logan said you were looking for me" She said softly

I turned around startled; I didn't know she was there

"I'm sorry," She said hastily. I didn't know if she could see the
tears falling down my cheek

"I'll come back later" she said

"No, no Rogue please come in" I said patting the bed beside me

"Can I do anything for you?" She asked

"No, it's me that can do something for you" I said sadly.

I held out a necklace with a small pendent in the shape of an X
hanging from it. It was Jean's X pendent. The one she had when we
first started this.

"I was cleaning out some of Jeans things and I saw this and thought
you might like to have it." I said my voice giving way.

"Oh no Scott you keep it." She said

"No Jean would want you to have it. I want you to have it. You were
very important to her. She was very proud of you. Of what you will
become." I was trying to hold back it all back. I wanted to tell her
everything. But I'm not that kind of guy.

I'd like to think that I could be a religious guy. But I can't.
Because everyday I ask the Lord why he took Jean away from me. Why
did he let something so beautiful leave this earth and I never get a
reply.