2. Would you like to buy Voodoo Doughnut T-shirts and panties? Would you like to learn about their "Club Doughnut" nights on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, or their First Friday eating contests? Would you like to attend their Swahili classes? Or find out about their obscene custom doughnuts, which I couldn't discuss in a family newspaper?

Voodoo Doughnut & Wedding Chapel is at 22 S.W. Third Ave. in Portland, OR. You can call them at 503-241-4704. They're open from 10 p.m. to 10 a.m. (that's not a typo). They open at 8 p.m. Thursdays-Saturdays. They're closed Sundays and Saturday mornings. (I'm told the really interesting, nontourist customer traffic starts stopping by around 11 p.m.)