Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called «Gilligan’s Island». There is, however, a dark secret about this «comedy» you may never have realized. The island is a direct representation of Hell. Nobody on the island wants to be there, yet none are able to leave. Ginger represents LUST — she wears skimpy outfits, is obsessed with her looks, and is a borderline nymphomaniac. Mary Ann represents ENVY — she is jealous of Ginger’s beauty. The Professor represents PRIDE — he is an annoying know-it-all.

Howell represents GREED — no explanation needed. Howell represents SLOTH — she has never lifted a finger to help on any of their escape plans. The Skipper represents two sins: GLUTTONY — again, no explanation needed and ANGER — he violently hits Gilligan on each show. Gilligan is the person who put them there. He prevents them from leaving by foiling all of their escape plots. He does wear red in every episode. You should follow me on Twitter here.

For more, check out the archives. Avoid these like dog poop on a New York summer sidewalk. They’re too expensive and don’t make you look extra special. To repent: Save your money and get paper with a plain smooth finish. It can be slightly heavier than regular copy paper, but not stiff as a board.

An ever so slight hint of cream is fine. It’ll make your resume easier on the eyes than the super-ultra-pure-snow-driven white paper many designers are fond of. Times New Roman The default typeface in Microsoft Word is Times New Roman, and thus it’s the default for most résumés. It’s a tragedy, because Times’s letterspacing and wordspacing is wretched in Word. The result is an unharmonious mess. To repent: Choose a different typeface.