Fake Headteacher: How are your plants?

We can only work with what we are given. Most of our plants we inherit are so far behind, we often have to find pots for them. The plant shop down the road are lucky. They seem to inherit the best plants that arrive on day one in their own pots and are already doing very well. It’s easier for that plant shop.

Plant Inspector:

Everyone says that to me!

It makes no difference what plant you are given in the first place. Your plants must meet national standards. I am afraid I am grading your shop ‘requires improvement’ based on your plant growth during the first few years growth in your shop.

Daytime Plant Carer:

But we have no control over our night time plant carers. We can only do so much. The plant shop down the road have superior night time carers. We simply can’t compete with them.

We have some of the most hard-working daytime plant carers you’ll ever see. They regularly go above and beyond what is expected from them. It’s not fair.