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Ivanka Trump Is Back On The Prowl

Anyone who wanted to be on The Apprentice but was deemed ‘too good looking’ or ‘too rich,’ now has a second chance to get in good with The Donald. His daughter, Ivanka, is newly single. According to the New York Post’s Page Six, Ivanka and boyf (the youthful real estate mogul and New York Observer owner) Jared Kushner have split up. Not sure what happened, it could be the legendary Trump jejunity or one of them could have asked the other to do something really gross. At any rate, she’s single but there’s no word if she’s in IvankaBoyfriend or Ivanka Play-The-Field mode, so guard your hearts, playboys.

Two quick caveats before making a full-tilt play for Ms. Trump:

1: The NYPost also reported that her mother, Ivana Trump, is getting in knockdown, drag-out fights with fiancée Rossano Rubicondi. To the point that the fuzz had to cool everyone out. Old rule: if you want to know what a girl is going to be like in 25 years, have a gander at her mom… yiiiiikes.
2: The gang at The Superficial is pretty sure that looks and wealth aren’t going to be enough to win over Mademoiselle Trump. They theorize that it will take anatomy made of precious materials, like Faberge junk. We suppose that there are plenty of other gorgeous American princesses out there, better luck next life.

1. Billy Corgan

Wait, Billy Corgan still exists? The guy couldn't even keep the Smashing Pumpkins from breaking up, why would it matter what he thinks about vaccines?

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2. Charlie Sheen

I mean, seriously, Charlie Sheen. Look, if somebody was throwing a party and was taking advice from Charlie Sheen, I would understand. If you're raising a child and trying make a serious medical decision, you probably shouldn't cite Charlie Sheen's opinion.

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3. Jenny McCarthy

Jenny McCarthy got her start posing in Playboy. Suprisingly, doing so did not actually make her qualified to dispense medical advice.

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4. Jim Carrey

Jim Carrey once dated Jenny McCarthy for a really long time, so whether or not he's actually anti-vaccine or was just super-whipped isn't clear.

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5. Kristen Cavallari

Hey, some former reality TV star thinks vaccines are harmful. That should be all the evidence you need to not be afraid of vaccines.

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6. Bill Maher

Bill Maher forgot that he's a comedian and not a doctor and spoke out against vaccines. He then went on to make a bunch of really smug comments to try and appear smarter than he really is.

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7. Mayim Bialik

In all honesty, Mayim Bialik is much smarter than I am, and probably most people. She has a doctorate in neuroscience, and I don't know what neuroscientists do, so maybe she knows what she's talking about?

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8. Rob Schneider

Did you know Rob Schneider has serious opinions about important issues? You should treat his opinions the same way that everyone in Hollywood who isn't Adam Sandler treats this guy's acting abilities.

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9. Alicia Silverstone

You know how many experts have cited Alicia Silverstone's opinion on any important issue, ever? The number is zero, which is how many clues this actress has.

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10. Donald Trump

Apparently, Donald Trump got vaccines and comb-overs confused. One works and the other doesn't.

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Wait, Billy Corgan still exists? The guy couldn't even keep the Smashing Pumpkins from breaking up, why would it matter what he thinks about vaccines?