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7 Things Not to Say to an Incontinence Sufferer

August 15, 2018

Some people who suffer from incontinence may be uncomfortable talking about their condition. It is important to take their condition into consideration when addressing them. We recently found this interesting article published in South Africa about the top 7 things you should not say to an incontinence sufferer:
Firstly incontinence is not a disease, but it does have significant psychological effects on the sufferer. The embarrassment caused by the condition can affect a person's quality of life. Patients suffer from anxiety, depression and stress, and this leads to them limiting their social participation. Many people are not comfortable talking about their incontinence and when interacting with them it is important to take their condition into consideration.
1. 'I can’t believe you peed in your pants'
Incontinence is a result of various malfunctions of the bladder and the urethra. Urine leakage cannot be controlled by the person. When it occurs it tends to be highly embarrassing. Pointing it out places further shame on the person, lowering their self-esteem and quality of life.
2. 'You should just hold your pee in'
Urge incontinence is when the ability to suppress voiding is next to impossible. This may be as a result of the bladder being overactive or too small. Urgency and frequency are factors that affect patients with urge incontinence most. Asking or telling someone to hold their pee in is of no benefit to them. Incontinent patients tend to avoid social gatherings because of the difficulty locating toilet facilities in time.
3. 'You smell of urine'
Being unable to control urine flow means that sufferers often wet their clothing and surroundings. Smelling of urine is common, which affects the dignity and self-esteem of patients. Wearing incontinence pants and incontinence pads assists with this problem. If you know that someone suffers from incontinence, do not mock them for smelling of urine. Instead, politely point it out to them so that they can clean themselves without feeling too self-conscious.
4. 'You should wear diapers'
Someone being unable to control their bladder and wetting themselves is no laughing matter. The experience of wetting themselves causes anxiety and distress, and pointing out that they need to wear diapers further humiliates them. Incontinence products offer support and relief to affected patients, but due to the stigma many avoid using them.5. 'You’re too old to be wetting your bed'
Wetting one's bed is not only something that happens to children. People who suffer from urinary incontinence often wet their beds. Some may attempt to get to the toilet but fail to make it in time. This form of bed-wetting is different from bed-wetting caused by psychological stress. Wearing incontinence pads to bed or buying specific incontinence products for your bed to help keep them dry may be a good preventive measure.
6. 'Don't do that when we're being intimate'
Urine leakage and incontinence have the ability to negatively affect the sexual function of patients i.e. urine leakage during sexual activity occurs in 12% of women. Incontinence may lead to dyspareunia (difficult or painful sexual intercourse) and anorgasmia (inability to have an orgasm). The majority of incontinent patients' sex lives are, however, unaffected.
7. 'Control yourself'
Telling someone who suffers from incontinence to control themselves will only humilate them further. This inability prevents them from participating in many day-to-day activities due to the embarrassment associated with the incident. Withdrawing from sport and recreational activities is common. This is mostly due to the inability to access a toilet in time.
If you or someone you know if suffering with incontinence do get in touch and we can help - you can contact our discreet confidential helpline on 0800 068 3625 or visit www.incontinenceuk.co.uk.
Kind regards
Incontinence UK
www.incontinenceuk.co.uk