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For Victoria Bowers, the mysterious symptoms started just as her husband, Master Sergeant Edward Bowers, came home on leave from Afghanistan for Christmas in 2011.

At first, doctors suspected that her bloody diarrhea was from food poisoning. They gave her antibiotics, but that didn't help. “My husband had to leave again the day after Christmas, not knowing what was going on with me,” she says. Bowers was left at home in Fort Benning, Georgia, in extreme pain and with full responsibility for their two young children, then ages 4 and 3.

“When your husband deploys, you worry about him coming home safely, and here I was, fighting for my own life," Bowers says. "I needed to play both Mom and Dad, but I couldn’t do either.”

Bowers was eventually diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and prescribed two immunosuppressant medications to manage the condition.

Her husband came home in May 2012, but he was overseas during the worst of her Crohn’s disease. While he was away, Bowers had many nights when she was in so much pain that she had to wake up the children and take them to the ER with her.

“As a parent with Crohn’s disease, you look at your children and want to do as much as you can to help them and be part of their lives," she says. "I knew I couldn’t just sit in bed and give up.”

Bowers gave birth to a third child, Landon, in November 2016. Her husband had deployed to Korea in August, and she and the children moved to a new home in Georgia. Edward returned home shortly after Landon was born but had to go back when his 42-day leave ended. “Now I’m the only parent for our three kids until my husband’s yearlong overseas tour is over,” Bowers says.

Living With Crohn’s Disease: Finding Inspiration From Your Children

Bowers' children — her daughter, Paighton, is now 9 and her son, Camden, is 8 — are her motivation to stay strong. Her Crohn’s disease never went into remission while she was pregnant, but, as she says, that “was the healthiest I’ve been in years.” Since Landon was born, she's had to deal with recurring symptoms. Sometimes she has to run to the bathroom while trying to feed him or put him to sleep. “The logistics of that aren’t too easy,” she says.

Her older kids have had to make some sacrifices too. They can’t ride bikes because she can’t be too far from a bathroom. If she's playing with them in the park, they may all have to suddenly run home if she has to get to a toilet.

Bowers tries not to scare her children when she’s not feeling good; she just tells them that her stomach is making her sick. “They have lots of questions, and I’m grateful I can explain it, but you don’t want to worry them,” she says. That proved difficult when she had to have emergency surgery for a fistula and an abscess after her husband's return from Afghanistan.

“While I was being prepped for the operating room, my husband left to pick them up from school and take them to my mom,” she says. “It’s tough to be in the hospital and not able to see your children. It’s hard knowing your children are worried about Mom and you can’t comfort their fears.”

There’s something else that worries her too. Bowers knows that Crohn’s disease runs in families. Researchers have identified specific genes that may influence whether a family member develops Crohn’s, according to the National Institutes of Health. “It concerns me that my children might be at greater risk,” she says, “but my doctor said it’s not a big percentage unless both parents have it. Knowing that it’s just me who has Crohn’s helps.”

Parenthood, Pregnancy, and Crohn's Disease

Bowers isn’t alone in her struggle. Raising young children and having Crohn’s disease can present some real challenges, says Wilson Jackson, MD, a gastroenterologist at Jackson Siegelbaum Gastroenterology in Camp Hill, Pennsylvania. “If the disease becomes more aggressive and Mom is in the hospital, kids can view it as a traumatic event," he says. But like Bowers, many parents who are coping with a chronic illness find ways to keep it in perspective and put everyone at ease.

Women with Crohn’s disease shouldn’t be discouraged from becoming pregnant, Dr. Jackson says. “There are drugs that are effective and can help a woman with Crohn’s disease through pregnancy safely,” he says. After much research and many consultations with all her doctors, Bowers stayed on her immunosuppressant through her pregnancy. She’s happy now, as Landon seems to be doing just fine. “He’s gaining weight and doing everything he’s supposed to at his age,” she says.

However, when Bowers is no longer breastfeeding Landon, she and her gastroenterologist will review her medications and may try something new because she still has terrible flares. “I’m hoping my health levels back out,” she says.

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