Wausau deputy chief: Race relations start by listening

Note: The following is part of a series of guest editorials from members of a community dialogue project called Toward One Wausau.

I saw a segment on CNN recently about the arrest of Lawrence Crosby, who had been stopped after a 911 caller saw him using a crowbar on a car and thought he was attempting to steal the car. In actuality, the car was owned by Crosby. There is police video of his arrest and subsequent debate has raised the issue of biased policing as well as police tactics.

As I watched the discussion on CNN between a white man vigorously defending police tactics in the case and an African American man pointing out concerns with the police tactics, I was disappointed to see a lack of any real attempt to see the viewpoint of the other person. The man defending police tactics was especially forceful in his opinion and appeared unwilling to hear another side.

We have become a nation that sees situations through our own lens. We make a judgment and then vehemently defend our personal positions. We are a divided nation and are becoming more divided as we scroll our social media feeds that show like-minded thoughts and information. If we don’t agree with someone, we just unfollow or unfriend them. Being able and willing to seek to understand the other perspective is a skill that needs sharpening in our country.

Through the Toward One Wausau project (a project aimed at improving race relations in our community), I’ve had the privilege of getting to know a number of great people. One of those people is Christopher Norfleet. Chris is the founder of People for the Power of Love. In learning about Chris’ past, he described his struggles growing up in Chicago. For example, Chris has told me that as a child he never dreamed about what he wanted to be when he grew up. This is something difficult to comprehend, because everyone I know talks to their children about dreaming big and aspiring to be something great in adulthood.

I guess that’s the point, though: Until we are willing as individuals to get outside our comfort zone and listen earnestly to the experiences and perspectives of others in our community, we will be unable to truly understand others.

Whenever I see Chris, he tells me to “bring it in.” Rather than a handshake, Chris offers a hug to express friendship and solidarity. He’s had plenty of difficult experiences in his life, yet he speaks passionately and positively about the future of race relations. Chris is relentless about encouraging and supporting others.

Chris is a shining example of how we can do better to join in partnership with each other to understand our diverse backgrounds and strengths without creating more division. The richness in diversity we have in this country is unparalleled. If we embrace that diversity and engage each other in respectful ways by listening to understand another person’s perspective, our community and nation can grow to new heights.

You have all heard the phrases “Black Lives Matter” or “Blue Lives Matter” or “All Lives Matter.” I will not end this post with any of these phrases, because these phrases have a certain connotation in our country depending on your perspective. These phrases are divisive. We are all the same, we just have different experiences, upbringings and obstacles. Every human life has the same inherent value. We must be open and accepting of others and their experiences before we can understand their viewpoint. Let’s start by being accepting, caring, and understanding. Let’s start by using Chris’ example. Let’s “bring it in!"

Ben Bliven is deputy chief of the Wausau Police Department and an Executive Committee member for Toward One Wausau.