In today’s DISCOUNT NEWS we are chatting about CREEPERS in the news (as is tradition)…and there is a guy with a toy gun in his ass, a dude cooling off with his hog out, a creeper clown and an update on a LOCAL HOOSHE!

Robert Casey, 49, was arrested on Monday after a tow truck driver called police to report a naked, masturbating man driving a Jeep Cherokee on Interstate 95. We east-coasters know 95 as one of the most frustrating interstates in the country. I believe Casey may have been merely attempting to alleviate some of that frustration by abusing his manhood to completion. Unfortunately for him, he pulled up along-side a tow truck driver who didn’t appreciate his relaxation methods. “The male’s hands were in his groin area moving around,” the police report said. But, in keeping with I-95′s propensity for moving along swimmingly and then coming to a screeching halt for no apparent reason, police located the Cherokee and put Casey’s five-finger knuckle-shuffle to an abrupt end. It took him a little while longer than most to stop the car since he was attempting to get dressed as he did so. When the officer asked him why he was driving naked, “Casey stated that he has problems with this and he is getting therapy,” the report said, adding that the man couldn’t explain why he was naked. If I had been the officer, I might have been inclined to also ask, “And where did you intend to shoot your load, dude?” When the officer patted Casey down, he noted that he had a toy pistol strapped to his leg, one part of which was inserted into his anus, and another part of which was tied to his genitals, giving an entirely new meaning to the term “gun play.” Casey was booked into the St. Lucie County Jail on a charge of lewd and lascivious behavior. I would think that “distracted driving” might also be called for here.

A 47-year-old professional clown was found with a large cache of child pornography on computer equipment in his Arkansas home, police said. Thomas Harold Morgan – who goes by “Sondance the Clown” – was arrested Wednesday after cops noticed someone downloading child pornography over a file-sharing network. They allegedly traced it to an Internet service provider belonging to the suspect. Police said they then obtained a search warrant for Morgan’s home. “There was enough material on there that it would take (investigators) at least two or three weeks to go through all of it — so there’s a lot of images,” . Morgan wasn’t dressed as a clown when he was arrested. Police charged Morgan with distributing, possessing, or viewing child porn, and he was being held without bond. On his “Sondance the Clown” website, Morgan wears oversized shoes, white makeup and an orange wig. He writes that he has spent 20 years “perfecting my craft.” “My educational background is in childhood development, so I know how to interact with kids (and I’m pretty good with adults, too),” he also wrote. He offers his services at parties and restaurants. She added that parents should be mindful, even around people who claim to be child experts.

Remember this story?Officers responding to a domestic dispute in the city reportedly found MUCH more than they bargained for. According to the St. Louis Post Dispatch, a couple – who lives on the 4000 block of Russell – was taken in to custody after disturbing pictures were found on their phone. The images allegedly included child pornography and photos of bestiality involved the women arrested…including intercourse and oral sex with a dog. The best part of this story…the dog….RAN AWAY! Even the dog didn’t want you…that means you’re a rough lookin hoosier skank! Gross!

UPDATE: Well she was recently charged…and will spend 120 days in prison. Sean’s case is still pending. GROSS AND OOFAH!

If you own an Android phone, the New Jersey chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union has just released an app called “Police Tape” that allows users to document, via video, an encounter with police. The function of the app is simple: get stopped by the police, and it allows you to surreptitiously tape the encounter, as the app isn’t displayed during the taping process. When the traffic stop or stop-and-frisk is over, the app automatically uploads the footage to the NJ ACLU servers for review, and also so the footage can’t be erased by police. There are even sections that explain your rights during a traffic stop, ID check, home visit or arrest, although it’s not sure how helpful that will be during an encounter with the police.

Police in Aurora, Colo., conducted a dragnet at a busy intersection last week, stopping just under 20 cars and detaining about 40 people, many of them in handcuffs. Two hours into the operation, the officers nabbed the bank robber they suspected was among the stopped drivers. Attorney David Lane said Wednesday that he has been contacted by several of the people detained Saturday afternoon by Aurora police and that he is looking into whether or not to pursue litigation against the city. He said that he thought the city may have been within its rights. At least one complaint has been filed with the city by one of the people detained.