Donald Trump insists that he is going to run for president. I guess he
figures if he can pull off that hairstyle, he can do anything.-Jimmy
Kimmel

Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the
presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice
wraps up. Say what you want about Trump, at least this guy has his
priorities in order. He doesn't want to let any reality get in the way
of his reality show.-Jay Leno

Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about
his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had
its vaccinations.-Craig Ferguson

Donald Trump might be running for president and he just released his
birth certificate. It lists his eyes as "blue" and his hair as
"ridiculous."-Conan O'Brien

Donald Trump announced he got his own segment every Monday morning on
Fox News. Just what Fox News needs- another blonde airhead.-Bill
Maher

If Donald Trump loves America so much, why does he keep outsourcing the
job of his wife?-Seth Meyers

Donald Trump said he can't make a final decision about whether he will
run for president or not until this season of Celebrity Apprentice
is over. Which is maybe the best excuse from a guy who might run for the
presidency ever- I am unable to decide on whether or not I will run for
President until I decide whether Latoya Jackson or Jose Canseco will be
my new Apprentice.-Jimmy Kimmel

In an exclusive interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network Donald
Trump said "I believe in God." But of course Donald thought he was
talking about himself.-Jay Leno

Maybe he should ease into this- by running for a lower office first,
like President of the Hair Club for Men.-Jimmy Kimmel

If Donald Trump wins, my guess is America will look a lot like it did in Back
to the Future 2, when Biff was in charge.-Jimmy Kimmel

On Fox News, Donald Trump said Obama's birth certificate could indicate
that he's a Muslim. Trump said he doesn't trust anyone with a
foreign-sounding name, and neither does his daughter Ivanka.-Conan
O'Brien

Donald Trump called George W. Bush "the worst president in the history
of the United States." Then he added, "Until, of course, I'm elected."-Conan
O'Brien

Donald Trump says he will run for president. He'll have to find a
cabinet position for that thing on his head.-David Letterman