Indian officials at Glasgow shocked to find that bribing Scotland Yard keeps them in jail

Indian Officials at the Commonwealth Games currently held at Scotland Yard were shocked to discover that bribing law enforcement officials did absolutely nothing to help their case, and in fact was more detrimental to their predicaments.

Very unlike the police back home.

The Secretary General of the Indian Olympic Association, Mr Rajeev Mehta was arrested for being over the stipulated alcohol limit and allegedly fleeing the scene of a hit and run case. Following his arrest, Mr Mehta attempted to bribe the law enforcer with Indian ladoos, aware of the fondness of the Scottish people for Indian sweet meats.

Berated for his blatant attempts at corrupting a Scotland Yard Police officer, Mr Mehta was handcuffed and taken to Scotland Yard but not before shouting his pleas of surprise and hurt at Faking News Journalists by yelling “I had no idea this wouldn’t work here. Where is their ‘chalta hain’ attitude?”

In a separate incident at the Games, Mr Virender Singh Malik, a senior contingent and wrestling referee was said to have expressed his displeasure at the Scotland Yard’s inability to grasp the concept of his right to sexually molest a Hotel official.

“Hotel staff are supposed to be here for our pleasure. The very nature of their job is to be hospitable,” Mr Singh exasperatedly explained. “If the lady in question did not want to be touched, why was she there? Furthermore, I could see her ankles, so naturally she was seducing me. Next time if she is not interested, she should cover herself appropriately. Who told her not to wear socks?”

Scotland Yard have termed Mr Mehta and Mr Singh’s shameful arguments as invalid and blatantly embarrassing to the general Indian population.

Menawhile, Mulayam Singh Yadav has vocally defended the actions of the two Indian Officials in questions, restating his official stance of “men are men. Mistakes happen”.