In the second major domestic terrorist attack to take place during the Bush administration's eight-year tenure, the Al Qaeda terrorist network today deployed a team of birds to down a US Airways jet in New York City's Hudson River. Few injuries appear to have resulted from the onslaught of aviofascism, but as an emergency measure, the Bush administration is reportedly reviewing plans for rounding up Canada geese for pre-deportation detention. It is unknown whether habeas protections extend to the birds, and lawyers for the ACLU have already filed class-action suits challenging the detentions. The Obama transition has declined to comment, stating that there can only be one administration at a time, but has promised a thorough review of administration measures after it takes office Tuesday.

The Bush administration, in its closing statements before leaving office, had been contending that it should be judged by the fact that only 3000 Americans died from terrorism on American soil on its watch. Senior administration officials, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said that no one could have predicted birds would be used as an instrument of terrorism. Yet a CIA analytic product, 'Birds Determined To Fly Around Aircraft,' had been briefed to President Bush on Aug. 6 of last year. The White House blasted the CIA for not providing greater specificity.

Goose beings of America, get yourselves down to Latin America as quickly as you can. Cheney still has five days to nail your asses to the wall.