The 80/20 Rule of Sex and Dating. Theory or Fact?

11Mar

Many of you may have heard of the 80/20 rule when reading about other topics. For those of you who don’t know, here is a little history lesson of the origin of the 80/20 rule.

“The Pareto principle (also known as the 80–20 rule, the law of the vital few, and the principle of factor sparsity) states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.”

“Business-management consultant Joseph M. Juran suggested the principle and named it after Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, who observed in 1906 that 80% of the land in Italy was owned by 20% of the population; he developed the principle by observing that 20% of the pea pods in his garden contained 80% of the peas.” -wikipedia.org

This principle is used to explain data and result in a variety of different subjects including social and dating behaviors. Members of the dating and seduction communities are split when it comes to some of these theories but today I am going to focus on a particular one that I personally believe which is the theory that 80% of women date and have sex with 20% of men.

As I was doing some research for this theory I was surprised to find a lot of backlash against it in recent times. I remember reading about this for the first time half a decade ago and it was much more accepted back then. Basically the theory states that the majority of women are attracted to, date, and sleep with a small percentage of the male population. This small percentage of guys is made up of good guys, rich guys, powerful guys, and bad guys. Now in a previous post I stated that I believe that somewhere around 60% of guys are bad guys. I still believe this but not all bad guys get laid. Some bad guys are so dumb that they don’t even hide their terrible qualities and never get laid because of it. Also many rich and powerful males are bad guys that only come off as attractive because of their money and power. Another thing to keep in mind is that 80% and 20% are not set in stone numbers. Basically the whole idea behind the theory is that a large percentage of women are choosing to date and sleep with a smaller percentage of men. Although this is debated a lot I personally still believe it to be true. So why is this?

For starters this has been going on for centuries. Powerful men have slept with multiple women since the beginning of our existence. Not every man can be powerful and ruling so these men were outnumbered by “lesser” men who were seen as unattractive. In short, there are less attractive men then there are unattractive men. It has been proven through numbers of studies that women tend to find men that have a high status and make more money compared to other men as more attractive. It should also be noted that these same studies found that women care more about personality then looks. This is why you see many rich, powerful, and ugly men with very attractive women. Many of them have terrible personalities as well but the status, money, and power make up for it.Not all women are like this and I want to make that point very clear. But there are many out there who are. These same women who choose to be with men for their money and power often end up cheating on them with younger, more attractive men with better personalities and looks anyway which says a lot.

If you examine online dating this theory shows itself from the very early stages. Basically if you are a woman on an online dating site you are going to be receiving e-mails constantly from men. On the flip side, the majority of men on dating sites receive very few. This is because women are more sought-after because they are harder to get because there aren’t as many available out there, 80% are “taken” while you have a very large number of men, 80%, who are not. Now as I said before, those are only rough numbers. The point is that in a perfect world the numbers would be balanced. There would be an equal, or roughly equal number of available men as there is available women. Obviously the world can’t be perfect but I believe that in its current state there is a large imbalance that needs to be dealt with.

Now I’m sure as many of you are aware one of the main causes for this imbalance is the fact that people are cheating. A small number of men are having sex with many women. These women are in turn sleeping with multiple men but out of a smaller group of men. This may seem balanced but you have to factor in other things that I have discussed. First off the majority of women are being sought-after by the majority of men in general, regardless of what percentage they are in. However, this isn’t true on the flip side. The majority of men are not being sought-after by the majority of women. If they were things would be balanced. Instead, only a smaller number of men are being sought-after. So the next time you hear a woman complain about how there aren’t any good men around, laugh to yourself and realize that she has a much larger group to choose from then you do. Sad but true. Don’t let that get you down however.

Now as I have said this is only a theory. Many very educated and experienced people are on both sides of its discussion as well as many not so. I would love to hear what others personally believe. I believe that its true and it can be very depressing at times. A lot of men when they read this theory get upset and use it as an excuse for their problems with women. I look at it this way. If the theory is in fact true it only means women are pickier when it comes to who they sleep with and date. I know for a fact that a lot of the men these women believe to be attractive are in fact douche bags that don’t deserve an ounce of what life has given them and that only means that the women who choose to believe that these men are great are just as flawed as the men themselves. I pity them and know that these types of women are not good enough to be with me. I may have to try harder to becoming one of these “amazing” 20% of guys that women find attractive but that’s okay. Growing and becoming the best man I can be is a lifelong goal of mine anyway and I’ve come a long way already.

Thank you for reading and please feel free to leave your comments below about your opinions of the 80/20 rule. Take care everyone.

8 responses to “The 80/20 Rule of Sex and Dating. Theory or Fact?”

Hello! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out
and tell you I genuinely enjoy reading through your blog posts.
Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that go over the same topics?
Many thanks!

Aren’t the qualities of attractvenes(good/badwealthy/stupid, etc) you refer to subjective? One woman may not find that a man accepted as “bad” by one is actually bad. In fact, she may find the traits are favorabl/beneficial, depending on her relative goals for the relationship. One seen as bad by some might be viewed as fiercely protective; one deemed wealthy as moderately situated, relative to her own wealth and status.

All those attributes are subjective, but one — and the most important one to any woman — is universal: popular. If a guy is popular then women will seek him out. And if women seek him out, he becomes more popular. Cascade effect. Next thing you know, all women are sleeping with the same few men. Just like you see in other animals, where males collect harems and fight off weaker males. Humans are no better.

Maybe Humans were better at one time, when our culture held monogamy was held to a higher value. But in our current post-modern progressive culture we have become no better than animals.

I know this is late, but i had to thrown in my two cents. I don’t know what the exact numbers are, but it’s essentially true. Especially in the younger years, women are vastly more sought-after and are able to choose from a very small number of men, per Mike Roch’s comment. I disagree, however, with his final assertion, about our “post-modern progressive culture” and how”at one time… our culture held monogamy to a higher value.” LOL. In the history of mankind, monogamy, particularly the brand our culture has embraced, has not been the norm whatsoever. (See polygamy, arranged marriages, harems and concubines for the wealthy/alpha few, etc. — all of which have largely defined the history of human mating).

This is common knowledge to almost any man. Just look around at your social circle. We ALL know that one guy (rich, handsome, charismatic) that sleeps with 3 different girls a week, and we all know that one guy (poor, ugly, awkward) the goes for years even decades without getting any female affection. Don’t lie, we all know that one guy.

Ever since the feminism sexual liberation of women, the 80/20 rule has never been more relevant than now. Women now hold the power economically and socially, so they go off chasing the top 20% of men. Obviously, majority of women are gonna end up as single moms or settling for what they perceived as lesser men leading to unhappy marriage. Marriage rate is at an all time low, while divorce and single motherhood at an all time high. The statistic do not lie. Perhaps the most convincing evidence of the 80/20 rule is staggering rise of STDs. It is estimated that 1 in 4 women has some kind of STD, but I recon the actual number is much higher. When you apply the 80/20 rules, everything makes perfect sense.

Just like in the old primal day, women go after the alpha males creating harem while leaving the beta males frustrated and unmotivated. And thus men built civilization and all agree upon a contract known as “marriage”, which states that in the eye of the pubic, one man is only allow to sleep with one woman. This in turn, gave every man a chance to start a family as long as he is productive to society. The harnessing of beta male’s sexual energy into productivity is what advancing and maintaining civilization.

With feminism and female sexual liberation. We are going back to the way of the primal days. More and more men are becoming violent and discontent; more and more men are dropping out of the work force and stop contributing to society. Sexual degeneracy are spreading. It is just a matter of time before society collapse because it needs these very men to keep it running. This is why women destroy civilization.

You are 100% correct, bang on. Everything you’ve said I’ve seen. If you are picked to be a beta male you have got to work your ass off to get any attention from even an average female. My mom choose the alpha and got terribly burned, hurt not just her immediate family but her sister as well and caused extreme drama in the rest of the family to have her fun. She did not learn and dated alphas till around 35 when I at 140 pounds 6 feet working out like crazy threatened her. I was so angry let her know what would happen if she brought another alpha man home. She said it was for me to have a father, I told her it was for her and for sex. No alpha was ever brought home again.

I grew up white collared but it took me till my mid 30’s to start dating no one gave a shit about me. I missed out on practically everything. When I got the confidence to go out side and go back to school I easily took top grades and in the work force out performed virtually everyone. I’m now finally ready to date and whats out there is beyond pathetic. Women take Zero responsibility for their actions and the ones I became friends with along the way are divorcing and cheating on their husbands now, laughing at them if they aren’t 6 feet with a big dick openly. These are college/university educated women from my jobs….. some christian and Buddhist. It is an awful life for a man right now if you are in the 80% you get next to nothing and used for your tax dollars to support sluts having kids with the alphas. There is so much more I could say, I fall into the 6 foot jacked with a great career category so women will openly tell me everything. They laugh at you if you haven’t slept with at least 20 women, they are so out of control it’s beyond words I’m glade i’m not having children this will not end well.