Some people find it difficult to speak words that express unfathomable sorrow because it contradicts the joy that surrounded the life of the deceased.

Some funerals have an "open mic" where people take turns telling their favorite memory of the deceased. It is incredibly bitter sweet, but it seems a very good idea. The deep bonds, the sense of community, and mutual acceptance startsand nurtures the healing process.

As a hospice social worker, I love it when funerals or memorial services offer these times. So often, we only get to know our clients when they are very, very sick. I love to hear about a time when they were vibrant and healthy and enjoying life. One grandson told about his grandmother getting a muscle car when she was in her sixties because, "I'm smart enough to drive anything a twenty year old kid can drive!" A spouse talked about meeting his wife of sixty years when he accidentally knocked her out with a wild baseball pitch. Still another son spoke of his father leaving when he was young and his mother working two and sometimes three jobs so her chidlren could have good lives.

I also remember one time we had a client whose family lived out of the country and were not able to reach her in time to be with her in her final days. They asked me to speak at the service to assure them that she had passed away peacefully (she had) and surrounded by love (she had died in our nurse's arms with me holding her hand). Those simple reassurances meant so much to them!

Recently a friend of mine passed away suddenly. Many of those who knew and loved her were from an online forum where we'd all known each other for quite a few years. I wasn't able to attend her funeral, as it was in another state, but she had what some of her family called an "Internet funeral." Why? Because so many of the quotes quoted were from her own blog, and things she'd said on forums.

Some of the forum members were able to attend, some who had met her and others who hadn't, and none had previously met her family. Well, despite them having just met her family, they were asked to take part in the readings, and share their memories.

It turned out that people in real life had a lot to learn about the parts of her life that she shared online.

Recently a friend of mine passed away suddenly. Many of those who knew and loved her were from an online forum where we'd all known each other for quite a few years. I wasn't able to attend her funeral, as it was in another state, but she had what some of her family called an "Internet funeral." Why? Because so many of the quotes quoted were from her own blog, and things she'd said on forums.

Some of the forum members were able to attend, some who had met her and others who hadn't, and none had previously met her family. Well, despite them having just met her family, they were asked to take part in the readings, and share their memories.

It turned out that people in real life had a lot to learn about the parts of her life that she shared online.

It was said to have been a beautiful memorial for her.

What a wonderful use for the internet. With everything we hear about the dangers and scams, it is good to remember it can be a good tool when used this way!

What a wonderful use for the internet. With everything we hear about the dangers and scams, it is good to remember it can be a good tool when used this way!

It's kind of like how you hear more bad things on the news... it's the same with the Internet. However, I've had good and bad experiences online, but the good have outweighed the bad. I met my husband online (not intentionally), as well as some of the best friends I could ask for!

The group where I met that young woman who died recently is one of the most supportive groups of women ever! It's incredible that people can be so transparent and real!

It's always more loving and personal, I think, when people just take turns telling stories about their loved ones. Especially when you hear the odd "ornery" stories and get a surprised laugh from people that didn't really know that granny even knew how to drive a motorcycle!