My favorite part of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue is the wave of readers who always write in to indignantly cancel their subscriptions to the magazine as if they didn’t know SI’s been publishing these swimsuit issues for 50 years now. Uhhh, wait!—I mean my favorite part is all the hot women in bikinis, and then the indignant readers…oh shut up.

Your mobile site sucks so much that my dick just disappeared into my charger port. And I don’t even have a dick, so imagine my surprise. Seriously though, fix this fucking shit. What is wrong with you? Your sole job is to run a functional website and you can’t even do that? I remember when we used to burn people like you at the stake. We still do that actually. Meetings are weekdays 5-7.

Hey, Fish, you do know Kendall Jenner’s nipples are all over the internet, right? Enough with this mass-produced bikini set – we rely on you for the NSFW trash! I would’ve thought there was some sort of beacon the internet lights for you when a Jenner bares her breasts. Oh, the internet is that beacon? My bad! You should be all over that.

I find it hard to believe how many people in the world, especially on this blog, don’t know the difference between “ugly” and “beautiful.” You know, it’s all subjective. Just because someone isn’t your cup of tea, doesn’t make them ugly. Gwen Stefani, for example, does nothing for me. But there is no denying she is a beautiful woman. It’s all in the eye of the beholder. In other words, FUCK OFF! You hateful pricks.

Chrissy Teigen is more that just a butterface when you put in the context of SI or Modlels in general. She is not only unattractive her body is just okay. Her body doesn’t rate a cover or even a magazine. I can go find a young lady right now off the streets of my city that would be 50 times better than Chrissy Teigen. For those who want to call my comments hateful well I believe your being hateful because this is a forum designed for criticism period. You can not like my comments and I can dislike yours but i’m not a hater just a person sharing his opinion ( a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge ). I define this for you so you’ll get it! I think someone pulled some strings and enabled Chrissy spot on the cover after all she is married to John Legend. John has proven he is great at what he does so beauty lies in the beholder. However, after researching this extensively I realize there are a lot of nice people out there that will not comment in other words if you have nothing nice to say its best not to say anything. But, again if you want to say something positive or negative this is the place to do it. For most it’s like being in the comfort of your car and honking your horn in anger, road rage, etc. because your protected behind the locked doors of your 3000 pound vehicle. My personal opinion is that only one of these women deserves to be on the cover if your criteria is the whole package and she’s the one on the left. The one in the middle is hands down greatest booty. Chrissy, however doesn’t meet any of my criteria her body my be in shape but soft and on if she doesn’t start working it out i’d say she has 2 years left. Unlike, Christie Brinkley who’s body is much firmer and as a matter of fact would have been a better choice and she’s 60 years old.