The Black Sheep

QUIZ: Which Main Street Bar Are You?

Main Street in Newark has its fair share of desperate clings to relevance for 21+ year-olds. In fact, much like your past hookups, there are a number of different bars that are all unique, usually fun, and slightly problematic in their own special ways. It can be difficult deciding which of these staples of UD is your favorite, though. As creatures of the ethanol ourselves, we know a thing or two about Newark’s bars, so we created this handy little quiz to help you figure out your spirit bar.

What did you wear on your 21st birthday to the bars?

A solid, no frills JC Penney T-shirt and a pair of jeans I got for Christmas three years ago that fit, like, decently.

A SPORTS JERSEY UNDER MY OTHER SPORTS JERSEY OVER A DIFFERENT SPORTS JERSEY! SPORTS!

A cute outfit that is now in a landfill somewhere.

One of the three revealing (but not too revealing) tops for going out that I rotate through every weekend.

Correct!

Wrong!

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You were planning on having a fun night out at the bars with some friends, but unfortunately you got forcibly thrown out by the bouncers! What do you do?

Get food and cry about my fragile masculinity being damaged.

Drunkenly grind to Uptown Funk on this thicc ass hunny before realizing she is a 6’4” male bouncer.

Get too lit to Smashmouth… again.

Lunge at the bartender after being charged $6 for my complicated drink instead of the usual $5.

Correct!

Wrong!

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You’ve spent $20 on drink specials tonight for yourself. It’s 1 a.m. and the lights have just been turned on; closing time! What’s your next destination after the bars?

Christiana Hospital Intensive Care Unit.

I’ll leave over my dead body… or at least until some guy comes around and tells me to

Ah! The light! It burns! I must retreat into the crowded, dirty shadows from whence I came.

Probably home, but I’ll belt the chorus to a mid-2000s alt. rock hit on loop en route to my apartment.

Correct!

Wrong!

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You found a bae and took them home with you, but they gave you a disease! Which one did you get?