Wednesday, October 23, 2013

(Note: I haven't blogged in one whole month, which has never, ever happened before. This blog post will tell you why.)

On the morning of October 10th, 2013, I woke up at 7:45 a.m. with big plans. It was the second day of the Frankfurt Book Fair and I would have lunch with a friend from Berlin and hang out with a fellow author who was in town for the week. I also had a few changes to make to my final draft of CHASING BEFORE, based on feedback my editor had sent on the revisions I'd been working on for weeks and just turned in on October 8th (another reason for my blog silence).

But, I just hadn't been able to shake the low grade fever I'd had the past four days and now I had slight pain in my lower right torso. "Where's your appendix scar?" I asked my husband. Same place I had the pain. Was I about to have appendicitis possibly? But if that were the case, wouldn't it hurt more?

I'd been to several doctors over the past three weeks complaining about stomach/intestinal issues, but none thought what I had was very serious. They prescribed some medicine to alleviate stomach cramps, lesson the amount of air in my system and to protect the lining of the stomach, told me to eat bland foods, and to get lots of rest. One went as far as to do an ultrasound that showed nothing out of the ordinary. The most pain I was in at any time during this time was the caffeine withdrawal headaches I got when I couldn't drink coffee anymore (they were unbearable, so I started drinking black tea.)

Coincidentally, I thought I had an appointment with my GP that day for my 6 month thyroid check-up, so even though I was feeling under the weather, I decided to keep my appointment. I walked with Daniel to the subway and headed to the doctor. At her office, I found out that I had mixed up my appointments and that I wasn't due in for another week. Fortunately, my doctor made time for me anyway. She looked at the results of my lab tests and noticed that I had a bacterial infection. She couldn't say where, and considered prescribing me antibiotics and sending me home, but decided to send me to the emergency room to get more tests. This saved my life.

I took a taxi to the Buerger Hospital and reluctantly cancelled my book fair appointments. In the emergency room, they asked about my pain level (low/tolerable) and were concerned by my continued fever. I had another ultrasound. The technician saw nothing terribly suspicious, but recommended a CT scan. The CT scan showed that I had an abscess right around my appendix. I was admitted to the hospital and prepped for surgery. The doctors suspected that either my appendix had burst or a cyst on my right ovary had, but they couldn't be sure without going in via laparoscopy. It would be a small procedure, they said, through my belly button. It wouldn't leave a scar and I'd be out of the hospital within a few days. Scary enough! I signed all the papers, including ones that said it could possibly be a more serious procedure (though I was assured this was unlikely).

They wheeled me into surgery and put me under.

Six hours later I woke up in the ICU. I was informed that the surgery had turned out to be major, open surgery to repair a hole in my colon, clean out the abscess and remove my appendix. Parts of my colon had been eaten away by bacteria. I would be at the hospital for at least two weeks. In short, I was a mess.

Once I finally got out of the ICU (two days of drugged out bliss and two days of wide awake torture) and into my quiet single room, the doctors explained that I had been hours away from death. If the abscess had ruptured, and it surely would have sometime on Thursday (at the book fair?), I would have gone septic. What they couldn't understand is how this all could have happened to someone so young and someone who walked into the ER with so little pain. According to their textbooks, someone in my advanced condition of infection should have been crawling and screaming in pain. The pathology report is still not in, so we still have no idea what the cause of the rupture was, and we may never, ever know.

I steadily improved over the next nine days in the hospital, and finally was released today. I will have many follow-up appointments over the next months, including a surgery planned for early January to continue to repair my colon. The doctors are hopeful of a complete recovery by February.

In the meantime, I'll be taking it easy. No heavy lifting. No sit-ups. No hard-to-digest food. Just lots of cat cuddles, walks in the park, and hopefully getting back into reading and writing soon. Oh, and I do have some upcoming concerts I'm excited about too (Passenger, Ms Mr, Bastille, The National), and the venues have been accommodating with handicapped seating (I can't stand for long periods of time).

I want to thank you for all your support throughout my hospital visit. I could only read messages on my phone, but I was inundated with well wishes from all corners of the globe. Your comments, tweets, cards, flowers (from my agency and from Lissa Price, author of Starters), etc kept me positive even through the pain, frustration, nightmares, severe nausea, and sleeplessness. One doctor told me he'd rarely ever seen a patient with such a serious diagnosis have such a radiant and positive attitude.

I'm not sure what the takeaway of this is, other than, listen to your body and get thee to a hospital post haste if you have a fever for over a few days. The doctors told me there was nothing I really could have done differently, that no one would have suspected the infection that lurked within me. I had a close brush with death, but I am alive and ever so thankful for it.

Here I am today:

PS: my few changes to CHASING BEFORE can be done in conjunction with copyedits.

Good heavens, Lenore! Reminds me of when my appendix had a tear it in but no one could figure it out for months until it accidentally burst during a test and even then they didn't notice until I was in the ER days later. Ugh. All my pain was in my stomach though, nowhere near the appendix AND I didn't have the right symptoms. Oh how our bodies can be crazy dangerous and keep it all a secret from everyone.

Very happy you're on the mend (sorry that there's more surgery though) and try to keep your exciting life a little less exciting. xoxoxo

That sounds absolutely terrifying, and I'm so glad you are alive and well. It's amazing what our bodies do and don't tell us. It's also mind-boggling how, according to a textbook, certain illnesses should affect us in certain ways - yet, there's always an exception to the rule.

Be well and take it easy the next few months! Glad you're doing okay!! Focus on the kitten cuddles - animals are the best cure to every illness! <33

WOW, Lenore. I'm so, so glad you accidentally went to the doctor on the wrong day (that's providential in my book). I've kept up with your FB posts but didn't know the whole story. So glad you're safe and sound and healing. xo

Hello Lenore - back from the brink! I have followed your story and updates via Facebook since becoming "re-connected". All I can say is - unfortunately (or fortunately) I have been where you are! I went through something very similar when my LAD exploded (at just 26) - Just getting the prompt care I needed was difficult. In part, being so young and healthy, it was impossible for anyone to know how sick I truly was until I was in a critical and life-threatened state. Consequently, part of my recovery entailed waiting on the transplant list for a while and then having my left ventricle rebuilt. I have felt everything you have experienced, hence my following your story so closely. I am SO glad you have shared - and very much appreciate your openness, strength, resilience, and positive attitude. I definitely agree that a wonderful support system - large or small - can lift us up and put smiles on our faces, even whilst enduring the worst. I have kept you in my thoughts and prayers for continued health, strength, and recovery: and will continue to do so. Please know that I continue to wish the best for you - and I truly appreciate your gratitude for and articulation of the precious, delicate nature of life! Best regards *and hugs*Julie Benedetto-Wilcox

Oh my goodness. I was scared for you as soon as I heard what was wrong days ago, but after reading this, HOLY FRIJOLES! That's terrifying! So glad that doctor told you to go to the emergency room, and so glad they kept checking until they found the problem. Hugs! I hope you get back to feeling good again soon.

OMG! I knew some of this before but the whole story is so scary. I am so glad you messed up on your appointment and that the doctor had the sense to send you to the ER. It will be a quiet winter for you, you'll get lots of kitty love and tons of support from all of us.

Wow & hallelujah. Thank you for sharing what happened, I knew it was serious and unexpected from the posts. I am so glad you chose to do what you did, I know you have LOTS more stories to write. Sending hugs and healthy vibes from Hawaii. :) k

Wow & hallelujah. Thank you for sharing what happened, I knew it was serious and unexpected from the posts. I am so glad you chose to do what you did, I know you have LOTS more stories to write. Sending hugs and healthy vibes from Hawaii. :) k

OMG Lenore!!! I had no idea. You know, I had a friend whose sister died of something like that, and she wasn't a day over 30. It was a horrible tragedy and shock to the entire family. So you have a guardian angel, and thank goodness for that. Holy crap. I am so thankful so are OK!

Oh goodness, I'm so glad that,in as much as it was happening at all, it played out the way it did! And I hope the rest of your recovery goes well and peacefully and with lots of nice reading and cooperative kitties.

*shivers* That was a terrifying read. Lenore, I'm so glad it all turned out well. That is such a scary thing to have happened to you. Thank you for letting us know what's been going on (I was reading your Facebook updates and wondering what the heck was going on!!!) and continue to keep up that brilliant attitude!

you are such a strong, young woman and I am so happy you are home and healthy. Continuing prayers for peaceful rest and rehabilitation before your 2014 surgery. Love you! And we will miss having you home for the holidays!

*Gentle Hugs* from me, Baby Nova, and our kitty, Dagny. So, so glad you're home healing. Lissa's right, you DO look radiant. Frankfurt will be there for you next year. Snuggle in for kitty hugs and rest up! <3

I'm a lurker on your blog but just want to say: I'm so glad you're going to be okay. What a scary incident. I had my appendix out about ten years ago, and unlike you it was agony- I was literally crawling on the floor to the door until someone helped me walk. So strange that all the doctors missed it. Have a speedy recovery!

Good heavens! I read your story with increasing horror and shock... I can't believe how close you were to tragedy and the incredible blessings you received to get to a hospital and heal. I'm so hopeful that you rest, relax, and have every good thing to happen to you henceforth!