The second correction comes from two weeks ago when I said Lehigh had made the tournament for the fourth straight year. It was actually just their fourth time. This was pointed out to me by an American University grad, so fuck American U.

– Boxing: Recap of Saturday night’s action:

Joan Guzman came in 9 pounds overweight for his rematch against Ali Funeka, and ended up winning in a split decision. Funeka got robbed last time they fought (it was a draw), and got fucked this time as Guzman was a welterweight and not a lightweight. Funeka did receive $25,000 from Guzman for the weight violation.

Arthur Abraham got DQ’d against Andre Dirrell for hitting (and knocking out) Dirrell after he slipped on the canvas in the 11th round. Dirrell was in a corner on his knees when Abraham waited then threw a punch that KO’d Dirrell. Pretty shitty. Dirrell would have won anyway since he was winning on cards and Abraham had a nasty cut on his eye.

Marcos Maidana used a short, right uppercut to the solar plexus to knockout Victor Cayo in 6. Maidana is now 28-1-0 with 27 KOs. Please watch this man fight. HBO will be replaying the fight.

– The Overvaluing of our Presidents: No matter people’s political affiliation, they love claiming that their type of President is better than your type of President, and that their type of President’s dad could so beat up your type of President’s dad. Usually they start quoting economic figures and unemployment rates. These people clearly do not understand the actual power of the President. According to Article II, Section 2 of our Constitution, the President’s powers are laid out in three parts:

First, he is commander in chief and can pardon or grant reprieves “for offenses against the United States, except in cases of impeachment.”

Second, with the consent and two thirds of the Senate present to concur, the President can make treaties. Also in this point, he can nominate ambassadors and judges, just as long as the Senate is OK with them.

The third point of power for the President is he gets to “fill up all vacancies that may happen during the recess of the Senate, by granting commissions which shall expire at the end of their next session.” (I wrote this part before hearing Obama announced 15 appointments.)

Section 3 of Article II allows the President to address the Union, “recommend to their consideration” an agenda, oh and he gets to adjourn or convene both Houses. Sweet. Do you see job creation in his powers? The writing of bills or laws? Nope. That’s congress, and congress is pretty split when it comes to job growth/market performance. (Just looking since 1988, of the 10 best performance years of the S&P 500, five of those were with Republican majority and five with Democratic. I could look further back, but from 1933 to 1981 Republicans only had 1 year. This is called “skewed data”. ) The best way to view the President of the United States is as our top ambassador and military leader. Seriously, John Adams thought no country was going to aid us in our revolution if we didn’t put forth some sort of “king”, but none of the founders (Adams included) wanted to be ruled by a king again. (Fun fact: John Adams argued for three months over which title should be given to our President. He didn’t think “Mr. President” was enough.)

– Question of the week: Where the fuck were you people? Only 3 out of 10 people surveyed said their portfolios have risen over the past year. The S&P 500 has been up 73%, and only 30% of us are up? Yeesh. That’s what we call “money on the sidelines”. (Dad)

– Bardon’s Boulder: Ces commented on this pic of Bardon’s that I shared on Reader last fall, but I like it so I’m posting it here for the first time:

– Fast food robbery: First off, which fast food joint would you rob? And second, what would you steal from them? Did you answer “Taco Bell” and “fried apple pies”? No? Well these winners did. (Brosnan)

– Tech to give sight to blind: “[M]erging retinal nerves with electrodes to stimulate cell growth” could help blind people. (Institute of Nanotechnology)

– Neil Gaiman on the Oscars: He puts the “scary-sweet plastic surgery faces” line in this journal he did for Guardian, entitled “A nobody’s guide to the Oscars”.

– I’m more likely to go out than you are: Unless you’re a “gamer”, too. New survey says “gamers are more likely than non-gamers to go out to eat, check out movies and hit the dating scene”. Also, “[m]ore than half of gamers (57%) say they are the first one asked by family and friends about the latest video game releases, movie releases, TV shows to watch and their opinion on electronics and computers.” Hmm, sounds familiar. Anyway, I think Wooten would disagree about this study based on his experience, but he owns a console so he technically is a gamer in this survey. Proving once again, surveys are typically bullshit. (Ben)

– Hey, Blake, where is the HD Biosciences building in Shanghai? Since you won’t believe me, here’s the map: (Jimmy)

– Tweet of the week: ProFootballFocus is a great source for football stats. They have a bunch of guys rewatch games to get more accurate stats. Check their website here. Anyway, they were analyzing pay-per-snaps. How you think fatty JaMarcus Russell did?

– What you missed: Mythbusters is back on. But it’s cool, you got me. You can’t: hang on to a ledge by your fingertips indefinitely, kill someone by throwing a slushie onto a highway. You can: grab onto a helicopter and drag yourself in, kill someone on the highway by using a cannon to shoot a can of soda through a windshield.

– What I missed: L-Boogey aka Loren Woods. He’s still playing professional basketball, just not in the NBA. He’s playing for a team in Tehran, Iran. Anybody speak Persian? If so can you tell me what Woods’ stats are? Thanks. For those not familiar with Loren Woods, he was Zona’s tall and lanky center on the team that lost in the 2001 Championship game to Dook and a bunch of refs. By the way, that game included Richard Jefferson, Gilbert Arenas, Luke Walton, Shane Battier, Jay Williams, Carlos Boozer, Mike Dunleavy, and Chris Duhon. Throw in Michael Wright and Loren Woods, and that’s 11 players drafted out of that game. (You probably don’t remember Michael Wright unless you’re a Knick fan, but he was our “enforcer”, if you will.)

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6 responses to “Weekly Update.”

They speak farsi not persian in Iran.
Gaiman has a new children’s book coming out this month and he edited a best of fantasy writing that comes out this summer. pre-order on Amazon. These I don’t do on Kindle.

I was reading The Update and Jaime asked me what I was doing. I spun around my laptop with the chick spreading her legs on the screen. She squinted at the screen for a couple seconds with a confused look on her face then said, “that’s not a Brazilian, that’s a Hollywood.”