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June 2018 Columnist of the Month - PRIME TIME IS A 6 TIME WINNER!

It's that time again, folks. We're about a week and change deep into the month of July, so let's put an official wrap on all the awesomeness that we got throughout June here in the CF.

June, our first full month back from the unfortunate reset issues and subsequent re-registration stuff, frankly didn't have a whole funky buttload of columns to choose from. This is probably the lowest number of total columns in a given month that I can recall seeing in quite some time.

To balance that out, though, the columns we did get were all crazy good. Everyone who contributed something to the mix came loaded to knock it out of the park and the sheer quality of the output we saw was fantastic.

That's all a long-winded way of saying that this should be pretty fun and interesting to watch play out. So why delay it any longer? Let's get into this thing.

Before I make with the list of columns and columnists, though, a quick refresher on the rules.

RULES

The winner of the Columnist of the Month contest will receive the prize of having one column posted on the main page of LordsOfPain.net

1) The winner of Columnist of the Month is determined by which of the eligible columnists receives the largest amount of votes within the allotted voting period.

2). No voting for yourself.

3). You must vote for Columnist of the Month to be eligible to win. Should the person with the most votes not place a vote during the allotted timeframe, said person will be disqualified and the first runner up in terms of number of votes gained will be named the winner. One need not place a vote to be awarded single Column of the Month.

4). A columnist must have posted at least one column during the allotted time period in order to be eligible. Duh.

5). When voting, please name both the columnist and, if applicable, the title of their ongoing series in a bold and easily determined fashion. Makes it easier on us old mod folk to more clearly discern the votes, what with our cataracts and such.

6). Main page writers are ineligible to win either the Columnist or Column awards. The exception to this is if they were not called up until the next month. For instance, a writer who wrote stuff in April and was called up on May 3rd would still be eligible to win the April Columnist contest. The prize would just be a bit pointless, I guess. The reason that main page writers are ineligible to win the single Column award is simply because they could, and often do, post said column simultaneously on the main page. This is a CF award, so only CF writers are considered.

7). Please refrain from editing your vote once it is placed, so as to not fuck up the tally. Some circumstances, such as a noob vote for a main pager, are the only loopholes to this one and will be pointed out and handled by a moderator.

8). If a candidate is caught campaigning for CotM, either publicly or privately via PM or social media, they will be disqualified and quite possibly banned. Do your selling through your writing. Begging is lame.

9). Columns about columns (such as the State of the CF or End of Year CF Awards) are not eligible for COTM consideration and will not be counted in favor of their respective authors in the final tally for the month.

10). As it pertains to collaborations, there are a few variations that require clarification.

a) If it's a "tag team" style "traditional" collaboration (i.e.: ETA or The Power Trip or The Mega Column) then both members of the team must vote in order to claim victory as a team.

b) If a single columnist gathers a group of individuals for a "roundtable" collab, only the organizer of said series must vote in order to claim victory. For instance, if Jimmy McColumnGuyDuderson wants to break down the greatest jobbers of all time and asks two of his pals to help out, only Jimmy needs to vote in order to win the award should he garner enough votes since he is the blatant driving force, as opposed to the give and take equality of a "tag team" collab.

For the voters, if you wish to specifically vote for a "traditional" collab team, name both writers. If you wish to honor a "roundtable" collab, just name the organizer of said collab.

11) You cannot vote for a former main page writer until said writer is at least 4 months removed from their main page stint at the time of the voting period. For instance, if Writer McGee just left his main page spot in January and resumed writing in the CF, he is not eligible to win CotM until the May contest. This rule is included simply because it's kind of stupid to award a main page column to a writer who just gave up a gig in which the point was to post columns on the main page. If they wanted to be on the main page then they probably would've, you know, stayed on the main page. We get that the CF has a certain allure, what with the sense of community and ability to win awards from one's peers and all that, but let us not forget the reason why the CF exists in the first place. It's not to placate egos by handing out peer determined awards, it's to find writers for the Lords of Pain main page. If you've had that spot and chose to leave it, perhaps it's time that someone else got the opportunity to prove why they deserve a shot. This rule is only applicable to the COLUMNIST vote, not the single COLUMN vote.

12). In the event of a tie, regardless the number of people involved, the deadlock be broken by means of a re-vote with the tied parties as the only available candidates. Said re-vote will be three days long. If it's still tied after that, the moderator in charge of the contest will determine a winner via a coin toss, with the rights to call the flip determined by which contender garnered the chronological first vote in the original competition. If said moderator in charge of the contest is involved in the tie, the coin flip will be executed by a moderator not directly involved with the contest. That's awfully wordy but actually pretty straightforward. Feel free to ask if you're fuzzy on any of the details.

Don't forget to cast a vote for the Column of the Month gimmick as well. Just name which single column you felt was the best of the month. The actual Column of the Month. Just one. NOT AN ENTIRE SERIES. This will help make the process of voting for Column of the Year when it comes time for the Year End Awards that much easier, as well as give some well deserved props to someone who straight up knocked one out of the park in a given month.

Speaking of, here's the list of eligible columnists and their respective columns. Huge thanks to Rob for putting this list together, as usual. If you find something that was left out just let me know and I'll get it sorted.

Mizfan
The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: Bagpipe Sale, Everything Must Go (Jan '90)
The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: Garden Party (Feb '90)
The Life & Times of Bobby Heenan: Tower of Power (March '90)

I think for the second month in a row Prime Time owned the month, between capping off his awesome interview with Plan, the LOP World Championship and his three fantastic Take Up Thy Wrestling Boots and Walk columns.

Column wise you are right Steve there were some really great pieces. I'm gonna give my vote to Dusty Down From Heaven but I also loved both of Tim's columns and also Xanman's too.

Prime Time, columnist. A lot of work put in and a lot of conversation to show for it.

Crippler for column. Take either Impact one. It was just right place, right time, but I just gained access to Pop, and the impact reminder caused me to watch my first full episode of the former TNA in five years. Not sure if I will do it again, but Konnan is the best old head. Best time in his career has been the last few years, maybe.

This is actually something of an eventful vote, as we have ourselves as close to a unanimous winner as we can get and still have a viable contest. With 9 out of the 10 vites cast (with the only dissenting voice being his own), Prime Time has finally made his way to the rare air that is the 6 Time Winners Club. In doing so he finally matches the tally of his dastardly rival, 'Plan. That's gotta make it just a little sweeter. Incidentally, this also marks Prime's first COTM win since July of 2013. That's almost exactly 5 years, which is kinda neat.

The battle for single column glory was a but more varied, but ultimately one piece stood above the rest. Dusty Down From Heaven/ What's Cody Saying: A Ben Button and Lop Mystic Collab by Benjamin Button and Mystic ultimately gets the well deserved win.

And that's that. Not quite an overwhelming turnout, but it's obvious that the general sense of malaise about the current WWE product, coupled with the lingering impact of the board reset, has decreased traffic a bit as of late. Regardless of that, the final tally indicates that there's no way someone would've hung with Prime this month. Big congratulations to our winners!

That's a wrap. Here's a breakdown of the votes, for those of you who care about such things.

I came here to congratulate PT and didn't originally see that Button and I got the collab column. A little behind the scenes. I was exhausted and almost not in a place to write that column, but the moment I saw Ben's paragraph as Dusty on the ranch, with Dusty voice, asking what his son was doing, I said, "Fuck. This has got to happen." Very nice experience. Thanks all.

Thanks everyone (except 'Plan). I'm not sure how often a result like that comes along so even with the quieter volume of traffic through here it's still pretty humbling.

Good catch on the nearly 5 years thing, Steve. Was going to comment on that myself! I knew it had been a long time so I looked it up. Although I guess between the August of 2014 and the February of 2016, I did write exactly one column, and I'd disappeared after the July win for the rest of 2013.... so maybe it's not a huge surprise, when you factor in my low consistency level?!

But yes, thanks again. And congratulations to Ben-Barney (Benney? Berney?) for winning the column award.