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Thursday, March 30, 2006

Who wants to be my sugar mama?

Does anyone have a few thousand dollars they want to give me? I am in the process of applying for student loans to go to Cardiff but it is killing my mind. I am so confused right now that I can't verbalize it. I can't even analogize my confusion. I can't compare it to anything. It's not like anything. It is beyond my capacity to even begin to understand what I need to understand. Here's what I do know: I need several thousand dollars. I'm not even completely sure on how many thousands of dollars I need; I think I need $14,790. But it could be that I need $19,010. I am praying it's the former*.When I needed money in Nevada, they had me fill out a FAFSA application. I waited a few weeks, and then received a letter telling me to go to an administrative office where a grumpy woman had me sign my name to several pieces of paper. A few weeks later, they sent me a check consisting of the loan money left over from the tuition fees and I used it to buy beer and presents for my wife. It was simple, and all I had to do was sign away my soul to Nelnet.This time around, it doesn't work that way. I have again filled out a FAFSA application -- two months ago -- but have not been instructed to sign away my soul or fill out forms in triplicate or any other such thing. I called Cardiff University this morning and they told me that it was up to me to find someone to give my soul to. I am trying to do this, but it's turning out to be far more complicated than you would expect. It is so complicated, so confusing, that I can't get a mental grasp on it well enough to define the questions that I have. I can't even tell you how confusing it is. I know only that I need money and that I don't have it.Mental note: purchase lottery ticket.

Littlegoat today took issue with my claim to have come up with the word "retropost," directing me to a blog where the term was used 15 days ago.Big deal! I came up with the term more than 16 years ago, as my archives clearly show.

Here's a random and painful memory: Madame the puppet. Completely out of the blue today I visualized her as the personification of my evil thoughts.

*Mother of Pete, though, that's a lot of money either way. What the fuck am I doing?

12 comments:

I pledge a tenner. A European one. I feel I could not sleep at night knowing I had denied the Welsh people your presence and intellect. But you have to name your first born 'Lucy'. Whatever sex it turns out to be.

I had the same problem when I was preparing to go to grad school in Denmark. All was great until the US government decided not to let me use my (already granted)financial aid to attend college overseas. I ended up not going.

I sincerely hope that the same thing does not happen to you. Perhaps there are some special interest groups willing to give you money? Are you hispanic, with a hook for a hand? Or perhaps you are dyslexic, with a hook for a leg? Well, you get the picture.

Have you tried Ebay? You could prolly get a good thirty bucks for your soul. Mine would prolly be up in the thousands, but I'm sure you could get at least thirty. Maybe even fifty if you had a good item description...

I was looking at grad school stuff the other day, dreaming and all that, but stopped once I realized the money issues that would be involved. Financial aid for college is probably the thing that has made me cry the second-most number of times in my life. bleh.

You should totally open up a paypal account for donations and beg the internet for money. Maybe you'll get some.

lol. although all the other comments have been cheeky, i'm going to have to give you a serious one....so..hard...want..to...slag..

usually the dept of the 'school' within the university you'll be attending has some non-EU and US funding options. they're not _that_ much, but better than nothing, so they are. also, check and see if you can apply for any studentships (kind of like an american "full-ride"...although why they call it that i don't know) check also if wales has any student programmmes whereby you can get funding as a US coming into the country to try and highten the developement...long shot, i know. ...em...for NI there are mitchell scholarships, and fulbright scholarships. (these are only for US students) are fulbright scholarships maybe for wales as well? anything that applies to the UK _should_ apply to wales as well....

Oh, yeah... I remember the "loan" stuff. The really fun thing, is that the loan companies over here don't seem to understand the "exchange rate" from Dollar to Pound. I remember all sorts of fun on the phone to loan companies saying stuff like: "But you already have a loan for $15,000." (Which of course is only around £7500) which wouldn't pay for tuition... It was like squeezing money from a stone.

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Who's writing this?

Hola. I'm Chris Cope, author of the books The Way Forward and Cwrw am Ddim. I'm originally from Austin, Texas, but through a series of terrible and wonderful events called "life," I now reside in Her Majesty's United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland -- specifically the bit that is Penarth, Wales. Occasionally I write things.