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A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM

You have probably heard of BDSM – you may even feel it could be for you. Read on to find out more about this popular erotic practice.

What is BDSM?

BDSM stands for Bondage, Domination, Submission, and Sado-Masochism, which probably sounds a little overwhelming. There are lots of forms of BDSM from light spanking to full-on power play and forms of consensual sexual violence. Beginners should start gently to find a place they feel comfortable, this is not a situation where you want to jump in at the deep end.

BDSM is really all about control, exerting it or having it exerted on you and this can lead to some exciting sexual scenarios.

Is it Safe?

BDSM practised properly should be completely safe but this means paying attention to safety rules and good practice. A safe word should always be in play. This is a word that allows either partner to stop the action immediately and you need to build up a relationship of trust with a partner over time.

How Do I Try BDSM?

The first step is to explore whether you enjoy being dominant, submissive or perhaps both! The best way to do this is to engage in a scenario where you are fully in control or in someone else’s control – you could introduce light spanking or hair pulling into this experience to get a better idea of whether BDSM is for you. If after this first encounter you are still intrigued then it could be time to look a little closer.

Where Could This Lead?

For those who enjoy BDSM play there are few limits – if you are playing with a consenting adult partner and you both enjoy what you’re doing then it’s fine to push boundaries. Some ways you could do this are with restraints or with a ‘master/servant’ relationship or even dungeon play. It can get complex and exhilarating. Living out your fantasies in a safe space can be incredibly rewarding and liberating.

I Am Not Sure BDSM is For Me

That’s fine – it isn’t for everyone. If you are unsure but would like to learn more then BDSM literature or imagery could help you gauge your reaction to this sort of fantasy. If it isn’t for you then move on.

Exploring BDSM through NSA Dating

Lots of people enjoy BDSM based interactions with those they meet through NSA dating sites. This often turns into a longstanding NSA arrangement with the right person. The advice as always is to take it slow and not to engage in intense BDSM play with someone you don’t feel completely comfortable with.

Do I Have to Wear PVC?

Not if you don’t want to! This is a popular image of the BDSM world but one that is not always accurate! Some members of the BDSM community embrace this look but it’s a completely personal choice. BDSM is based on power and control – not latex!