"Thinking I could save time, I rigged a beam with a pulley at the top of the
house, and a rope leading to the ground. I tied an empty barrel on one end of
the rope, pulled it to the top of the house, and then fastened the other end of
the rope to a ...

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge headfirst into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holida...