Vanish

The memory of her
love has vanished
like my grandfathers ashes,
like my grandfathers smile
I drew with crayons
on the white wall
I wanted to create
something beautiful so
that my house would still bloom
with their fighting throats.

Now I refuse to
open my wire arms to hers.
I mistake women
I look up to for mothers
for mothers I forge
into the one who has
left scars scratching
on the surface of my skin.

The memory
of her love has vanished,
emptiness is
a gaping hole screaming.
Loneliness lounging
while leaving pain
in its dreadful path.
I light myself on fire to
taste the poison of love.

Who said abuse was
all fists and black
eyes when
all of this pain stems
from the bully that
is her mouth.