Suddenly a Pirate yells 'Man over board!' A small raft of an odd shape can be seen gradually floating nearer. Will & Jack are brought back to the railing where they were previously. Suddenly Jack starts laughing hysterically. With eyes accustom to conditions out at sea, Jack can make out the "raft" bafore Will can. When the "Raft" comes into view of Will he starts mumbling, covers his mouth & runs off (he goes below deck & attempts to bite anyone who comes down there). Jack looks back at the "Raft", "Leave it in the sea boys." He announces to his crew, then goes back to his cabin. The crew of the Black Pearl (+ Bo'sun) watched as the stinking decaying body of the late Elizabeth Swann floats by. Bo'sun grunts, then goes off to find something more interesting. The crew get back to their duties. Un-be-known to the pirates a mad & mishappened Monkey by the name of Jack crawls up the side of the ship & disappears into the woodworks.

<a few weeks later>

Jack is complainng to anyone who would listen that things were slowing down. A pirate walks up to him to stop his whinging, "Look, things wouldn't BE slow if the pirates weren't DISAPPEARING in their sleep!" Jack looks at him wierdly, "Huh? Did they go to NeverLand?" The other pirate looks annoyed "NO! They just disappear! With naught but the screeches of the night to say what has happened." At that moment screaming can be heard from Will's 'quarters' below deck. The famished man comes running up onto deck. He looks ragged & half eaten. He runs up to Jack & grabs his shirt, yelling "JACK! MONKEY! JACK MONKEY! ARRRGH EATEN BY JACK MONKEY! EEK! ARRGH HELP JACK MONKEY!!!"

__________________"Don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen"Slytherin's official Mental Institution patient

....Rasping huffs can be heard in a dark corner of the ships belly. Jack walks in & announces to Gibbs That there is NOTHING down there. But that was before Jack. Jack the Monkey launches himself at Jack from the darkness. His screeching can be heard all over the ship. Jack (the Pirate) runs on deck screaming. (Gibbs:*He sounds like Elizabeth*). Just as everyone has ran to the railing to get away from the Cannibalistic Monkey a small house falls onto deck. THUD! A man, with a chainsaw for a hand walks out of the house & annouces "I'm Ash!" Jack walks up to Ash & says "Good for you." Then looks past him at the house. A pair of hairy legs with red stilleto shoes on can be seen sticking out from underneath. Ash turns to see what Jack is looking at, pionting at the legs he asks, "What the hell is that??" Jack looks at him "The Monkey." & shrugs. Ash looks disappointed, "No Evil Dead then?" Jack laughs, "Nah, we delt with them last movie!". "Oh, OK." Ash continues to look slightly lost.......

<<A bit off-topic, but I couldn't help it....It's right up yer alley Machete_Guy!!>>

__________________"Don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen"Slytherin's official Mental Institution patient

Suddenly out of nowhere a glowing angel/fairy appears. She removes the red shoes from JtM's feet (which start twitching) Then puts them on Jack's feet.

Angel/Fairy: (to Jack) You have the magic slippers now Jack (smiling) You can complete your journey, just follow the yellow brick road. (She starts to fade) oh & click your heels together to go home.

Jack looks at his feet, he takes a few cautious steps. Then starts strutting!

Jack: Oh, look! They are just soooo becoming on me. They match my bandana perfectly! If only Elizabeth was here to see this!

(From the side of the ship): I AM HERE!

The stinking rotting corpes of Elizabeth hauls itself on board.

Elizabeth: & I'll have those shoes if you don't mind.

She starts hobbling towards Jack.

Jack: NO! AHHHHHHH! MY SHOES!

He runs to the other side of the ship. Ash swings his chainsaw up

Ash: Finally, a corpse to kill!!

Will: NOOOOOOO

He runs & pushes Elizabeth's corpse out of the way, taking the full brunt of the blow. His head rolls across the deck.

Ash: Damn, oh well.

He beheads Elizabeth then throws the corpse over board. Turning to do the same to Will's corpse he notices it is missing. Next thing he & Jack no a horse trots out of...of...somewhere, & walks to the middle of the deck. Will is riding the horse, with his head under his arm.

Will's head: I am the HEADLESS HORSEMAN!!!! I come for your heads!

He rides past gibbs, chopping his head off on the way, he then gallops the horse into the house that is still sitting on deck. He has taken Gibbs head with him. Will & Granny stick up conversation.

__________________"Don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen"Slytherin's official Mental Institution patient

An aging man walks up to Jack from...somewhere & hands him a funny plastic bottle.

Man: The new NapiSan Wonder White! Removes stains & leaves your whites looking as good as new. Just pour some on the stained area & put it in with the rest of your washing! Your whites will be whiter!.

The man disappears.

Jack looks confused then hands the bottle to Will's mother. She looks absolutely thrilled to have such a product & immediatly leaves to go put a white load in the washing machine.

Luke: What you're wearing is DREADFUL!!! It looks as if it hasn't been cleaned in 6 months!

Jack: WHAT?!?! How offensive, these clothes haven't been washed for OVER A YEAR!!! six month INDEED?!?!?!?!

Luke: My outfit is better!

Jack: NAH

Luke: YEA

Jack: NAH

Luke: YEA

Jack: NAH

Luke: YEA

Jack: NAH

Luke: YEA

Jack: NAH

Luke: YEA

Jack: NAH

Luke: YEA

Jack: NAH

Luke: YEA

Jack: NAH

Luke: YEA

Jack: NAH

Luke: YEA

The arguement (if that's what you can call it) was then stopped by the squeak of an aquatic animal just off the Port side. Everyone one moves to the left railing & looks over. A boy on the back of a killer whale with a bent dorsal fin is waving up at them.

Jack: What the hell is wrong here? Why me? Why now? Why me??????

__________________"Don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen"Slytherin's official Mental Institution patient

Next thing they now, Jack, Will & his Mother, Elizabeth's corpes, Ash, Luke Skywalker & Granny all disappear in blue light, then reappear in some highly advance (technology wise) room somewhere. They were on a rasies plateform, brightly lit. Two women & 2 men, all wearing uniforms, were in the room. One of the women stood behind a comsole of some description on the other side of the room directly opposite to them. The rest stood before Jack & the others. the other woman, destinguishe from the rest because of red on her uniform, where others had yellow, spoke:

I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. Sorry if we have caused you any form of alarm

<Criket noises can be heard>

Captain Janeway: (looking at Will & Elizabeth's corpes, then at a black man with pointy ears) Tuvok, escort those man (indicating Will & Luke) to the sick bay, see what the doctor can do for his...predicament. (to the woman at the console) Ensign, transport that body to the morgue. (turning back to Jack, Ash, Will's Mother & Granny) Now, If you'd please follow me, I'll take you to a more comfortable place to talk.

They were taken to a room with a talbe in the centre. Everyone sat down.

Jack: Where are we??? (He looked out the window, which had nothing but Space & Stars outside.

Captain Janeway: I told you, the Starship Voyager. During some scans we discovered a lot of interuption with the time-space continuum, we pulled some of you out of there berfore you all died.

Ash: oh? ok? Where is the ship exactly then?

Captain Janeway: In the Delta Quadrant. (<blank looks> ) In space.

<More blank Looks.>

A voice, coming from seemingly nowhere says: Sickbay to the Captain, could you please switch to the medical emergy program.

A man appears in a picture on the wall, he is moving...Granny gasps, Will's Mother faints, & Jack & Ash don't know what to do.

Man on wall: Captain, the men that you brought aboard earlier are well, with all their body parts back on & functioning. Lieutenant Tuvok is escorting them to you now.

Captain Janeway: Alright.

The picture disappears. Then The man from the room they were originally in walks in with Luke & Will following, they were both rubbing their necks.

<<Yes, we are smart, all this story has been written by us two, except the first bit by Peaches & 1 bit by J#1!>>

__________________"Don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen"Slytherin's official Mental Institution patient