Frequently Asked Questions

What happens when we die?

In order for anybody to understand a little about the death process, one must first believe or at least be able to suspend disbelief that you are more than your body, that you can exist with or without your body. It doesn’t matter whether you define this as your spirit, soul, or just “you” continuing. Physicists know that energy does not die, that it only changes in form. “Dust to dust” can be extended to “spirit to spirit.”

This is what happens: your body dies, you go on. Simple as that. Believing that you go on, even if you don’t know where, will help you in accepting and comprehending the death process. DP’s (Dead Persons) reflect on what happened to them during their death process. However, that reflection does not hold the same importance for them as it does for the living relatives connected to them. The living apparently have a need to know if the dead are alright and what happened to them at the time of their death. For instance, are they still in pain or shock if they died from a tragic death?

Through my work, DP’s have shared what happens during death and there being two major factors that influenced their death transitions. The first factor was the circumstance of their death, illness, accident, or natural causes will all have individually specific effects on what happens immediately at the time of our death. The second and more important consideration is our beliefs, faith, thought processes, and state of mind (or what I called consciousness) at the time of death. If we’re in a state of extreme emotionalism, that is, fear from an accident, or the trauma endured from a long term illness, no physical pain will be felt, only a possible memory of what happened.

For those who believe in some form of life after death, or in the existence of God however defined, transitions will likely move more quickly, as if in a dream state, toward a white light or the presence of a loved one already in the spirit world. Even if the way you died might have been traumatic, your transition will be filled with love and guidance.

Let me however clarify some things. Our consciousness exists with or without a body. Therefore someone who has taken another’s life (as in murder) in a fit of rage will have a very different transition than one who has been surrounded by love. Also, the expectation of nothingness, fear of that nothingness, fear of the unknown, fear of punishment or whatever else may terrify you, may keep you in a state of semi-awareness until you are ready to move toward the light or God. Our belief systems are very powerful. It takes a dramatic or devastating circumstance to change most people’s opinions or beliefs about anything. But in regard to death, it takes a volcanic eruption to shift our belief. In other words, it takes death itself.

Do we have foreknowledge of our death?

This question comes up all the time in my sessions. The soul knows when it is time to return home. It is not always clear to what we call our conscious mind but, because the soul knows, things will be said and done that are out of the ordinary by those getting ready for transition. When the living think back later about different things that were said or done, they can identify what were at the time clues.

The rule of thumb is that children and the elderly recognize it sooner. They will seemed to get better physically and or if sick may go into remission of that illness a few days prior to passing. A peaceful coma-by that I mean, no nervous movements, or apparent agitation- is another sign. Since the soul knows it’s going to pass over to the other side, one way of preparing for this is for the person to go into coma-like state or progress to a peaceful coma right before transition. Again, this is not meant to imply everyone who goes into a coma will pass over. Obviously, they don’t. The DPs have told me, though, that part of the reason they did go into a coma was to help the loved ones left behind prepare for their transition.

What happens when people commit suicide?

Death provides no escape. The hard-core truth is you cannot kill yourself. Your essence, your state of mind, and consciousness remain with full knowledge of why you took your life in the first place. Suicide won’t solve any of their problems, it only eliminates the body as a place or means in which to work things out. And the concept of curtailing one’s own life span “before the allotted time” is very real. There is a blueprint.

I’ve connected with many DP’s who consciously took their own lives, feeling the other world had to be easier. At the time they could no longer endure any more suffering — mentally or physically. They wanted to be out of pain and were willing to accept any consequence (including non-existence or eternal damnation) to achieve that goal. However, during the life span there can be much pain (both mental and physical), leading to spiritual confusion for the soul, ending with them making a decision to end their life before the appointed time. This is particularly true if the soul feels death is the end. Nonetheless, every soul still experiences their own transitional process and learning. I strongly encourage people to do what is necessary to stay “alive” and follow the path they’ve chosen. As with everything we consciously decide, we must take responsibility for our own actions. For that reason alone, we need to make our choices as carefully and conscientiously as possible. With all that said, we never die alone . . . and the love we’ve given and received continues to connect us with all those we’ve experienced that love with – both in the physical and spiritual world.

Are dream communications real?

Yes. Most contacts with the DPs happens through dreams. Why? Because information from the spirit world or dead people comes through our right brain. For this to happen easily, the analytical side (left) needs to abstain or be pushed into the background. The mind is likened to a radio set. By tuning our mind antennas we get the station or messages clearer. The DPs have to come through our mind in a way that there is minimal or intellectual interference and that’s simply easier when we are sleeping. The only trick is, to remember and be able to interpret the type of dream it was. Let’s get one thing straight, this does not mean every time we dream of a dead relative they are contacting us. They are not. It is just the way most contact does happens for us.

Can the DP’s hear us?

Don’t worry. They have hi-tech answering machines in that dimension! And yes, they do hear us. They particularly benefit from our prayers and thoughts of love. Remember contact is as important to them as it is for us. We just need more on the physical plane. I understand this. It has a lot to do with living in a physical body and needing that physical connection. Another note, often when they’re near us if we happen to become emotional they’ll pull back. They don’t want to upset us only let us know they are around.

Are we disturbing the DP’s by trying to make contact?

This question I’m continually asked. It stirs up deep conflicts and feelings for those who hold strong religious beliefs or convictions that communicating with the dead is a sin and is therefore forbidden by God. I personally understand the conflict for those who have been told by their priests, rabbis or ministers that trying to contact loved ones who have died is banned by God. However, to feel and see solace and peace come to those loved ones who know undeniably their loved ones did not die, brings me to another thought. It would be a very cruel God who would connect and bring together families, spouses, lovers and friends through love and them be denied that connection when separated by physical death. To never again feel we can or are able to share that special bond of love we treasured. I do not believe so. Quite honestly speaking, I do not believe God would wish this. I further believe that it is essentially God’s blessing that allows and makes the connection/communication possible. There are too many good souls who live by God’s laws that have shared and want to share in these wonderful connections. All relationships are ongoing, and often it is these ongoing connections that enable us to grow and learn in the most significant way there is; love. You cannot make anyone alive or dead do anything they do not wish. We have been granted free will for this reason. Contrary to what many believe, those who have passed over equally benefit from connecting with those loved ones still living. It is this mutual connection that lets everyone heal, mourn, and move on in their own time. This does not in any way mean we should not move on and let our loved one move on. We should, but sometimes we all need a little help from our friends upstairs.

Pets, where are they?

Pets are hanging out in the same place as humans. Many DP’s have showed up holding their beloved pets. A better question might be, do they go through the same evolvement as humans? The answer is — yes and no.

Animals are part of a group soul. Precisely, we stay in human form and they stay within the particular animal kingdom they belong to. However, my understanding is if an animal becomes domesticated, they will be with the human family member they were/are connected to. Animals are honestly not my area of expertise, but they do show up consistently connecting to the human they loved.

Do we feel pain when we die?

Some of this was answered in the question “what happens when we die”. But the answer is no. There is no physical pain without a body. It is like remembering something that happened to you in the past. You remember the experience but you do not feel the pain. However for the record; our consciousness exists with or without a body therefore we don’t just become a goody-two-shoes when we die. Your thoughts, good or bad travel with you.

Will my loved ones be there when I die?

We do not stop loving anybody because we leave our bodies/die. If you love someone you haven’t seen in a long time wouldn’t you/they be glad to see each other again? Of course you would. So don’t worry you’ll get to see your mothers, grandmothers, fathers, siblings, children, and even your dogs and cats again.

Where are the dead people? How do they communicate with the living?

When it comes to DP communications, it’s not as much an aspect of where we ”go” as it is the state of consciousness we ascend to. Essentially the non-physical dimension is of, and parallel with, the physical universe. There is no “in here/out there.” These apparent differences are our perceptions only. Actually, we are all connected (sorry AT&T phone company!). Physical universe might be better explained by the time-space-continuum, and, in fact, there are some fairly mind-blowing (but accepted) definitions of contiguous realities. But as I understand it, we have two places that we share with God, one where we wear clothes (our bodies) and the other (when we become a DP) where we take them off. Once we shed our bodies there is a different frequency or vibration, a different energy level. This concept may be likened to the speed of sound or light. Vibrations or pitch produce different sound waves. The higher the pitch or sound wave the less it can be heard by the human ear, or at least most human ears, although we know other animals (such as dolphins, for example) can hear higher pitched frequencies. Our bodies are made of dense materials (matter) that result in a lower vibration or less finely tuned frequency.

Therefore, when we shed our bodies or when we are in an altered state of consciousness (as in prayer or meditation), the higher or more finely tuned the vibration, frequency, or energy level will be. This is the frequency the DPs are tuned into and so in order for communication to take place we need to fine-tune our antennae.

Messages from DPs are received very fast, even in our dream states. This is why we don’t realize that information is transmitted from our higher selves or, for that matter, from the DPs themselves. We can train ourselves to reach this level of antenna capability and enhance our sensitivity to what is happening all around us. For most of us this tuning takes time and practice. But we can start by listening to our dreams — which is the way most DP contact happens. Why does most DP contact happen in our dream state? Because when we’re in our dream state we’re in the state of consciousness where we are more receptive to the higher frequency.