Police Allege Mice Ate Half A Ton Of “Missing” Weed

After claiming that mice had eaten a whopping half a ton of weed, eight police officers have been fired from a police force in Argentina.

Over half a ton of cannabis was found to be missing from a police warehouse in the town of Pilar, about 50 miles outside of the Argentine capital city of Buenos Aires.

While the eight Argentinian cops claimed that mice had eaten it, and surprisingly mice eat cannabis a lot more often than one might think, forensic investigators report that they checked out the scene and found no evidence that the mice consumed the missing weed.

The cannabis disappearance was first noticed during an inspection on the warehouse, where it had only been in storage for two years. Out of the 6,000 kilograms of cannabis that had been documented and stored there, only 5,460 kilos were found. That means 540 kilograms of weed were missing. It sure would take a lot of mice to eat hundreds of kilos of cannabis, and that sure is a gigantic warehouse.

It was noted to be suspicious that Javier Specia, the city’s former police commissioner had left that inventory for impounded cannabis unsigned, unrecognized when he left his post in April of 2017.

The missing weed was noticed by commissioner Emilio Portero, the man’s replacement and so he notified authorities who came to perform an inspection on the warehouse.

The former employee Specia gave the same explanation as three of his peers and subordinates: that mice had eaten the entire missing 540 kilograms of weed. However, forensic experts presumably found no evidence of mice being in the facility, along with the obvious fact that it would take an extremely unusual number of rodents to accomplish such a feat.

“Buenos Aires University experts have explained that mice wouldn’t mistake the drug for food, and that if a large group of mice had eaten it, a lot of corpses would have been found in the warehouse,” said a spokesperson for judge Adrián González Charvay.

Surprisingly however, they may have put a little bit of effort into concocting that alibi for the missing tree if mice in fact didn’t eat it: mice actually do this all the time.

UP there with “the dog ate my homework”! “The mice ate the weed! So help me GOD – the MICE at the weed!” – dan mac #Wow#STONED : Fired cops claim mice ate marijuana that was held as evidence. https://t.co/Ftld592D4X

The fact is, mice and rats are equipped with long, strong whiskers that are very similar to that of a feline, capable of determining to a high degree of accuracy how much space they have to squeeze themselves through something like a door.

To stay alive, rats for example require a whopping third of their body weight in consumption every day.

And guess what? On a slightly unrelated note, multiple studies have inadvertently proven that cannabis is good for mice. A 2014 study about cannabidiol proved that it protected the cognitive function of mice that were afflicted with a characteristic symptom of Alzheimer’s disease and brain trauma: tau buildup.

A 2017 study published in the common journal Nature demonstrated that even low doses of THC administered to rats preserved the learning ability and retentive memory of mice as they grow older, in stark contrast to what most people believe about cannabis.

So to the Argentina authorities who may prosecute these people for the missing cannabis: does it really even matter if they took it? It matters that you stole it from people and it’s a plant, but can you blame somebody for stealing from a thief?