Do you always use a condom?

by singlemomseeking on June 4, 2008

All this talk about condoms yesterday has inspired me. Well, not inspired, exactly. It has made me a bit manic, to be honest.

To make matters more intense, it just so happens that during Mary Pols‘ book launch party last night for Accidentally on Purpose, she read her infamous chapter about her condom-free one-night stand, which gave her little Dolan.

Although no one in the audience dared to ask Mary about condoms last night, the night did have an unexpected surprise:

I blushed during Mary’s bold reading, and then stayed up way too late thinking about this post. First, let me say that I’m pro-condom. I think everyone should use condoms, I think condoms should be sold in every bathroom for a nickel, the same way that tampons are sold. But in my experience, men don’t like to use them. They will beg, pressure, say anything to do condom-free. Am I alone here?

In response to yesterday’s one-night stand post, David from Dad’s House emailed me on the side that he was “was truly flabbergasted when I read that “oops” line. But you’re probably right, there are probably a lot of people who don’t use condoms. From where I stand, they are polluting the dating pool. But that’s just me, I guess.”

I take full responsibility for having made a few careless decisions in my past, and I wrote about one instance in my book — when, I gave into one man’s persistence. I freaked out afterwards, and reprimanded myself for weeks. (By the way, my decision to get pregnant with my daughter was a conscious one. At the ripe age of 28, I was certain that I wanted to become a mom — and it took just one try to make it happen.)

I told Dad’s House: “I think that many, many people are sleeping around without condoms.”

It’s terrifying, but is it true? I’m asking you. Does any of this ring true for you? Sign in anonymously if you want.

I got pregnant the first time I ever had sex without protection (and more accurately- the condom failed). Now I do love my son dearly but I don’t want that to EVER happen again.
I do use the pill so when I’m in a monogamous relationship and he’s been tested, he can go condom-free.
My only mistake is that there have been a handful of times that sex has begun with no condom. So I’m not perfect. But have I ever gone completely without any method of birth control since that fateful first time? Absolutely NOT, never.
Here’s my theory. The men that beg you “please please, no condom. ” Guess what? They’re begging other women too. Do you really want all those all other women’s germs, STD’s and who knows what else?
Sex is not worth it!! Why risk it?
Another tip, masturbate regularly. You won’t be so desperate for sex that you’d go condom-free.

I hear you about the myriad of excuses people are hacking up these days as to why they shouldn’t or “can’t” use condoms.

One of the things they always come back to is that condoms de-excite sex, make it boring, awkward, etc. That really bugs me. There’s amazing companies like One Condoms (onecondoms.com) out there who put stuff on the market that actually ENHANCES the enjoyment of sex–I mean who else out there makes condoms that glow in the dark?

Adding to the frustration is that so few people really understand that condoms are about SO much more than preventing pregnancy; the horrors of AIDS and the pantheon of other STDS continue everyday do to misunderstandings of the possible dangers of unprotected sex.