Nooo! Not VA! Lol! Anyway, King Rightousness dosen't sound so rightous. I also have a feeling that Wang Tang is only using the girl (i forget her name) and that she will end up dead because of it. If that happens, I hope Prince Charming personally kills Wang Tang himself.

The whole time VA came into the picture i was like: "Go VA!" I know he's the bad guy but cheer for Angels! Oh and are you trying to make God evil of something? I thought Angels that were with God were supposed to be good?

So Righteous was Charming's brother. Shoulda known. I don't know if you ever heard this one, but there was a guy who had a really good feeling about his seventh kid, so he named him Winner. Then as a joke he named the eighth one Loser. I think the king was kinda like that dude.

I feel like I need to make a log for all the characters. I'm sure I'll get them all down eventually. It was easier when it was just Charming's army.

Anyway, good chapter. Just a few typos (you've got a 1 where there should be a ! by the way)

Oh, in case you were wondering: Loser grew up to be a cop. His friends call him Lou. Winner's in jail, but I don't know if Loser was the one to put him there.

Okay, so I'm slightly groggy since I just woke up, but this is the only time I could find to review one chapter for this. This explanation is just a warning that I might ramble and be incoherent with half of this review.

So first, I found the writing to be once again flawless in terms of grammar. There was a point where Prince Charming spoke in all capitalized letters and I'm not sure if that is the preferred method of showing a rise in volume (since many feel it is unprofessional). But it wasn't too distinct and glaring and was used with caution so I think you're okay.

Continuing on, this chapter started nicely in a way that continued from The Baby Necromancer but also gives information that makes it easy for even a new reader to jump into the story. I enjoyed the continuity through the information and hints, but I liked how explanations were given to help fuel understanding.

I did notice you were more action focused in your narration rather than giving more imagery. Before, you rather liked to set the scene and I know a lot of people like the context and some sensory details in the first few paragraphs of the story. I wasn't quite bothered about it, since I myself tend to focus on the plot. However, I have noticed that I really enjoy reading stories where there is a moderate amount of imagery. It just transports me into the scene and I get more involved with the characters. But that's just a suggestion and maybe I'm reading too much into this first chapter. Maybe you just felt this scene didn't require imagery (which it really didn't that much).

So now onto plot and character analysis.

I like how you started with the prince waking up instead of the grieving. For new readers, they would feel no connection to the prince, so whatever happens, the readers would not feel any care for the first chapter if you started with grieving. So starting with his resurrection allows you to jump straight into the story making the plot have more dynamics. I hope there is some redone of exposition on the characters and their lives for any new readers. This will add more to the beginning, but this is a nice way to start the chapter.

As for characters, you've given a great skeleton of what the characters are like. I'm getting a good gauge of what the Prince, Boris, Kalp, and Jacob are like and how others view them. I'm not yet into their different complexities but that is for later chapters. But this is a great start in development.

Overall, a great start to the story. Really enjoying this. I'll read more later when I find more time.

Will creeps me out ALOT. The Fool is a ...Fool. Eva actually seems nice and she's a dragon, AWESOME! And i feel bad for Vincent, he was sucked into this and now he can't get out. Then again, i love tragic characters.

The 'three bags full' bit was a little distracting. As was the 9000. Stories usually aren't a good place for memes. Kinda neat to see them planning their battle though. A lot of stories just go straight to the fight.