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Jolima sorry for the shortish notice but I might not be able to make tonight after all. If I'm not on Steam by 8.30 then I won't be able to play. If you'd rather not wait to see if I turn up then feel free to suggest another day.

I see the gears of mork and want them to turn back
But then those tricksy orcs roll blitz, here comes the flak

I see the greens close by dressed in their belts of skulls
I have to ride my luck and start the black orc culls

I see a line of orcs but they're all over there
While Ga-uss and the ball have movement points to score

I see orcs drop their heads and mutter about a fix
Mathematicians start to cheer as they get their own blitz

The gears find themself inside a shrinking cage
Their paper armour forces them to make a play

And then they drop the ball, pythgoras makes the pass
Dirichlet faces up to score with some pizazz

By now I'm low on doctors, things are turning bad
Bernoulli's dead, his brother's headstomped, orcs are mad

I can't fall back enough from that trundlin' scrum
We get knocked up and down and they make it 2-1

I see a window but on my fingers it's snapped
They're closing in, to try again for human mash

I see that Gauss go by he's stretchered off the pitch
If I had a pound for every cas, I would be rich

Brothers! Let Bernoulli's death not be in vain! He made great strides in fluid mechanics!

So let's go punch out their fluids! He pioneered statistical techniques! So let's risk it

all! He had a really bad wig! So let's...let's not honour that one! FORWARDS!

I see Euclid, pain an orc
black orc down, run it round

Go on Srini, go for it, please don't die
I wanna see a touchdown, yes! now, hide out, at the back
Yeah!

Full-time: Jim 3-1 Orcs

I won the key moments, and lost the casualty battle eventually. Three players out, one dead and two with stat decreases, representing about 120 skillpoints of players. Next match is going to be tough. But now: we celebrate.

The Mathematicians opt to receive the ball. Both teams set up and Imangul Mifsud, the orc kicker, plants the ball the ball accurately in the left wide zone, a few yards off the centre line. The ref whistles and the fungus-fuelled Gears start off with a blitz.

Hungry for a win to distance themselves from the now slightly tailing Strenous Garfighters, the Gears throw their weight in on the ball, sending Mintoff, Fred-Ugh Sant and Imangul under the ball. Mintoff fails to catch Imangul’s kick (Imangul is so fungused-up fast he managed to kick the ball and run right next to where it landed in seconds) the ball and it lands next to three orcs.

The Mathematicians manage to secure the ball but are wide open to being both blocked and blitzed. They also manage to stun two Black Orcs and KO the star BO, Bima. The human catcher, Jacob Bernoulli holds on to the ball as he gets punched about by orcs, to no avail. His team mates quickly knock down the surrounding orcs, and Bernouli jogs to the right flank and hands the ball to Gauss. Gauss and Bernoulli bring down the killer Gonzi, the only defender left in the Gears’ backfield. The orcs KO Jacobi and Hardy, but are hard pressed for a blitz on Gauss, who is a mere 4 squares from the endzone. The agile Agat-Argh Barbara, dodges away from the mid-line and attempts a blitz, but fails the last dodge to reach Gauss. Gonzi curses the Kowc for not trusting his agility crippled self with the blitz.

The Mathematicians KO Sant, the piling blitzer and score.

1-0 to the Mathematicians.

The boosted human babes shake their stuff bringing both Jacobi and Hardy back. The orc babes are vomiting Bloodweiser in the changing rooms. Both Bima and Sant are out. The Gears start the drive an orc down.

The Mathematicians, charged by their early touch-down, blitz into the Gears’ half with the catcher Bernoulli within ball recovery and TD distance. The Gears have front-loaded their deployment and the only one who can reach the ball is the thrower Zeppi Il-Hafi. The ball is, however, in the far left corner of the pitch, just by the endzone. Zeppi sprints to the ball and launches a strong-armed, accurate pass to the agile Barbara. Barbara catches the ball easily and is protected by the remaining orcs. The blodging Kazz Ahmar attempts an easy dodge away from Euclid and falls flat on his face, smashing his nose and badly hurting himself. The Gears are now two orcs down.

The Gears are surrounded by Mathematicians for a few turns. They fight them off and badly hurt Newton, who is saved by the apothecary. The assistant is called in on the next turn when an aggressive charge by the murderous Gonzi concusses him. The assistant apothecary’s skills prove ineffectual and Bernoulli is out of the game (and a softer target for games to come). Gauss also gets knocked out in the same turn.

The Mathematicians, incensed by the violence from the orcs respond by badly hurting the Black Orc Zibel.
The orcs are still at mid pitch by turn 6. The Kowc screams for them to make a play. The thrower Zeppi Il-Hafi knocks over Pythagoras, opening the way for Imangul Mifsud to jog up towards the endzone. The rest of the orcs are tied down, however and the ball-carrier, Barbara, is wide open. The mathematicians attempt to capitalize on this but Euler’s blitz is ineffective, even after a re-roll. Euclid makes up for it by KOing another Black Orc. With six orcs on the field and the ballcarrier surrounded, things look grim for the Gears.

BB_LE 2012-06-03 20-35-19-70.jpg
Mintoff gets up from the ground, charges at Hardy and opens up a path for Barbara to dodge out and pass to the waiting Imangul Mifsud, 7 yards from the endzone. The pass is accurate but Imangul fumbles the catch. The Mathematicians recover the ball with Pythagoras, who sends a perfect pass to Dirichelt, scoring the second touch down.

2-0 for the Mathematicians.

The Gears babes are replaced by a squad of goblin rat-on-a-stick salesmen who manage to bring the Black Orcs back with a titillating belly dance. The orcs set up for the bash but are ineffective. The second half sees both teams set up with full squads.

The Gears receive and immediately go on the offensive with Gonzi adding another trophy to his loincloth in the shape of Daniel Bernoulli’s right hand.

The Mathematicians attempt to muster a defence but the Gears right flank rush catches them flat footed and the score is soon 2-1 with a touch down by the thrower Zeppi Il-Hafi.

There are still five turns left and the Gears hope for a chance to snag the ball and equalize. The Mathematicians bring down the line and Pythagoras has the ball at mid-pitch, surrounded by thinkers.

The Gears make contact with the screen in the hope of seeing a few Mathematicians trip out of their tackle zones and making a run for the ball. Bima stands firm against a block assisted by the ball carriers and responds by slamming him into the ground. The ball scatters to Ramanujan, however. Guass wishes he hadn’t called for the Apothecary on the earlier badly hurt as he suffers a fractured skull from Dead Orc Walking.

Nuffle smiles on the Mathematicians again, however, as Mintoff fails a re-rolled go for it on Ramanujan and Euler badly hurts the star Bima, this time out for the rest of the match. That combination of Nuffle eye-batting allows Ramanujan to sprint to a safe distance. Barbara and Zeppi try to blitz the run-away lineman, but Zeppi fails a dodge to get to him.

3-0 for the Maths Squad

The Mathematicians leave Jacobi and two rookies on the LOS and hide at the end of the pitch. The Gears, hungry for retribution badly hurt Jacobi but fail to do further damage in the remaining turns.

Well played Jim. I was over-eager to capitalize on the Blitz and loaded that left flank a bit too heavily on the first turn. The attrocious armour rolls, especially on the Black Orcs really hurt my game. There were also a number of key moments where Nuffle's flirtations got you out of thorny situations to seal the Gears' fate.

I guess it had to happen at some point! Congrats on handing me the first loss of the season!

Oh shoot. I posted in the stunty league thread (admittedly after 2pm anyway) but forgot to post here too... I've been wicked ill all day and not up for gaming. Sincerest apologies CH for wasting your time.

Oh shoot. I posted in the stunty league thread (admittedly after 2pm anyway) but forgot to post here too... I've been wicked ill all day and not up for gaming. Sincerest apologies CH for wasting your time.

No problem. I should be able to do Wednesday or Thursday night if you've recovered by then?

Hi Zor, I'm around today, but not sure how free I'm going to be... you're not on steam usually, are you? How about I ping you a PM when I'm free - it hsould at least pop up in your email...? I'm happy to forfeit if not, this team is dead to me now ;-)

Jolima and I played last night. The first half the dice were against both of us until the final turn. My catcher had failed a gfi to score and Jolima's elves were able to send the ball the length of the pitch to make it 1-0.

In the second half I wasn't really able to slow the elfiness down very much and it was 2-0 by turn 11. I then received and Cyanide happened. I'd got Zara as an inducement (weirdly since the last patch she falls over rather then stabbing people) and tried a block with her just when there was a network sync error. This screwed the game up and I decided to leave the score as it was rather than putting myself through the agony of playing those elves again.