A wife, mother and artist with Fibromyalgia

Tag Archives: kids

Here in Fairbanks Alaska it is warm, which is very strange. Even though it is January and usually very cold, it is above freezing. My youngest son was born in January in 1997 and it was 40 below zero. His 16th birthday is this Saturday and it is so warm it is raining!!!!!! I went to Walmart yesterday and the entry way is a wet mess with water raining down from the roof onto the sidewalks. The tons of snow on the roof is melting. When I was stopped at a red light I had to keep my wind-shield wipers going because the snow on the light signals was melting and raining on my car. As the water falls and hits the cold roads it turns to ice and makes driving oh so fun. Later in the day yesterday it started to rain (mixed with snow) and then it started to poor. It rained like it was fair time or something. They canceled school since the roads are such a mess. People could ice skate to work! They should make it official – “Ice skate to work day.”

Well while the snow outside was melting yesterday I crocheted some for inside. I made this snowflake washcloth for my bathroom and it is so pretty! I found the pattern on Ravelry.com and it is free. The yarn I used is Lily Sugar’n Cream Tie dye Stripes. I added an extra round to mine and changed the edging a bit. I think it turned out really pretty! At least I know my snowflake wont melt.

“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.” – T.S. Eliot

Today was interesting. I have been fighting this stomach thing and I couldn’t get to sleep all night. My neighbors had a grand time with the fireworks and around 1 am I was wishing they would stick the next batch in their ears before lighting them. They must have read my mind because they quit soon after. I have powers like that.

Well, I tossed and turned, went to the bathroom, tossed and turned and went to the bathroom…. repeat that about 20 times and by 4 am I was exhausted. I finally fell asleep but I have no idea when. I slept most of the day but now I feel a lot better! I’m so glad too. Since then I’ve been working on my journal and getting started on my New Smash journal I got from Michael’s Arts and Crafts. I’m thrilled about that by the way. I’ll be taking a picture to add here later.

I went back to my “To-Do List” for 2012 and my Goal List which I made with Google Drive (well it was called Google docs then). Google Drive is really awesome by the way and it’s free. If you are not familiar with it you should check it out. It is a great word processor program that runs completely on the net. All of my files are all saved on their servers so it doesn’t take up room on my pitiful little laptop computer. You actually don’t even have to save because it is automatic. Of course, I can save the files to my computer if I want to though and I can choose what type of file to save it as… html, open document, docx (microsoft word), pdf, Rich Text, plain text etc. You can also email it as an attachment which is handy. It is very easy to use and I just noticed I can add/change fonts! There are a ton of cool fonts available to choose from. There is also a handy app for iphone and android which makes me very happy. I tend to save patterns for when I’m crocheting or knitting something and then if I’m not at home I can just open the file on my phone. Nifty!

So I updated my lists and printed them up so I can add them to my Smash journal and I’m about ready to start working on that.

I’ve decided to participate in Home Storage Solutions 101’s Declutter Challenge where they have a daily task and you de-clutter every day for 15 minutes. I learned about this last year but I was already doing my own thing and I hate joining something half way though. I have some OCD traits I guess and my kids tell me I’m like “Monk“. I love Monk. What is so wrong or funny about being like Monk anyway? I don’t get it. Anyway, last year this site was just doing their 52 week challenge and I just can’t not start at the beginning of something and with “Week 1” dated as the 2nd week in January I decided to skip it. I can’t read book series out of order either even if it doesn’t matter. So this year they are also doing a Monthly calendar thing which will be posted on the last day of the previous month. There is a small task to complete for each day for 15 minutes. the whole idea for this system is you can do a lot in just 15 minutes. You can download this calendar as a pdf file but after downloading that file I just hit Control + Print Screen and then pasted and saved it as a .jpg file using my cheesy little Paint program that came on my laptop. Then I saved it as my desktop and now I don’t have to worry about losing it or spilling something on it. Pret-ty han-dy!

Here is the link for the January Calendar and you can download the calendar as a PDF file there. You can click below and save the .jpg version if you’d like.

I just read that the small 15 minute missions on the calendar and made to correspond with the weekly (52 week) challenge so it can be beneficial to do them together. Of course I don’t always follow rules so I’m going to just do my own thing today. The “mission” for today was to create a spot to put donations and such. I already have that so I’m going to clear off my little table by where I sit on the couch. I have a bunch of little stuff in containers that I like to keep handy there – like a little flower pot I have full of various colored pens, adhesive and other stuff I use when I work in my journals. I’m going to be watching some young kids starting next week I don’t want anything little or pointy in reach.

Well, since I’m feeling so much better I think I am going to get busy. It is almost midnight but I don’t feel like sleeping. I hope everyone had a great 1st day of 2013 and if not, a good 2nd, 3rd or 4th…. etc

This is kinda written in response to the wordpress writing challenge although most of it was already pondered upon and pressed….

Feel free to join us. click the link above to read about the challenge.

(Imagine there is a space here)

I don’t really do the resolution thing… at least not the way most people do. I do a couple of different things. First I have my list of goals to work on throughout the year. Not a lot of things – just 2 or 3 tops. I write them in the front of my journal so that I see them every time I open it – which is usually every day or more often. I keep track of some items in my journal and journal about my progress. I don’t like to make “resolutions” that are fast forgotten.

I also make a “to do” list for the year. This list is pretty extensive and more of a wish list sometimes. Sometimes I just can’t afford to do some of the things on the list or I need help – like with painting a room in the house. It is okay though. This is the time of year when I look at what I accomplished, cross off what I can and add a few more things. What didn’t get done just stays on the list for the next year. The idea in this is that when I get to the end of the year I don’t feel like it was all wasted.When I flip through my journal or look back at my blog I know my time was well spent. It wasn’t always that way. Sometimes I would get into this rut of just waking up and going to work, coming home tired and going to bed. That was because of my health. I was working so hard I didn’t have any energy to spend time with my family. Now I enjoy listening to my kids talk about their days or music or whatever. I can sit at the table and have dinner with them. Time is precious and needs to be used wisely.

Anyway, my basic goals are always to lose weight and to get organized. Surprise, surprise huh? With my health problems I have a hard time exercising. When I’m in pain I don’t want to move so I gain weight. My doctor says says that it is important to exercise as much as possible and that it will actually help with pain. She’s the doctor so I’m doing my best to follow orders. I cut some things out of my diet and managed to get some health issues under control that way (which is pretty cool I think). I managed to stop gaining weight but didn’t really sustain any real weight loss. I’m just grateful that I’m not still gaining. This year that is my biggest focus because it isn’t just a matter of how I feel about myself anymore. Being overweight sets me up for all kinds of other health risks, including diabetes which runs in my family. My mom died of a heart attack and I’m going to do everything I can to avoid that happening to me. I’m using a website called MyFitnessPal.com to track what I eat and it really helps a lot. I’ve made some friends on there that are in the same boat I am. They are also trying to lose weight while dealing with chronic pain. It is amazing to have such an amazing support group that will cheer me on but also understands when I’m not feeling well.

I’m about to set a fresh new goal for this year and take new measurements. I think I’m going to break my “wish” for my overall weight-loss into smaller attainable goals. I think if I lost 10 lbs I would feel pretty darn good and that would give me some “FIRE” to keep going. So I’m going to do that and just keep working on smaller goals. Of course exercising every day, even a little, is a task on my list. Sometimes it just isn’t possible but I’ll do what I can. I got some advice from a friend of mine that I am working on trying too. He said to eat what I want but only half. That is a new concept for me since I grew up being told to clean my plate. I hate to see anything go to waste so I eat it all. So I’m going to work on that and put half away for another meal.

Last year, one of the things I added to my list was so stop using the “f word” meaning fibromyalgia. I thought that I should not talk about it and only focus on positive things. It didn’t take me long to realize that was not the right thing to do. Sure, I need to focus on positive things but this is part of me and acting like everything is normal is not the answer. I realized that there are a lot of people out there that don’t understand what fibromyalgia really is. Many people and sadly even some doctors don’t believe it is a real thing. Well, what I feel is real and if there was a solution I’d be first in line. I really think it is more likely that it is a symptom of something they haven’t yet figured out. They need to do more research to find out and that means more people need to know about it. That is when I decided to add that blurb about fibromyalgia to the top of my blog. I also thought maybe if other people with fibromyalgia could see what I accomplish with this than others will be encouraged.

This past year, in working on my to-do list, I was able to get a lot of de-cluttering done. Now I am going to keep going on that. I found this website that has a calendar for each month. Each day there is a task to work on for 15 minutes. I think I’ll give that a try and see how it fits in with the areas I want to clean. Mainly I just need to use some of the things I’ve bought for crafts and let some things go. I have a LOT of yarn. I’m decided to use that yarn to make blankets for Project Linus. I’m the coordinator for my area and I’ve had a hard time keeping it going. I have decided to make working on Project Linus my 3rd goal this year. I’m going to work on getting people to help out and make lots of blankets.

Last year one of my goals was to finish what I started. I tracked down some unfinished projects and finished them! That felt really good! I also concentrated on finishing one thing before starting the next. Some people call it multitasking but usually I just end up with a bunch of unfinished stuff. I did get a lot more done this year and knit, crocheted, and tatted several things. I also read a bunch of books! And the books I read have been passed on to others or donated. I’m also not buying new books but getting ebooks instead. These little things all make a difference.

So I have my new journal – two actually. One is a journal to write in daily and one is a smash journal. I like to use smash journals for projects and pictures. My main goals are already written in the front and I’m ready to get started.

Of course I have my new list of Twenty Wishes that I want to work on too. It is interesting to me how this list seems to incorporate many of the things on my yearly list but it is much shorter. I got the idea for that list from a book.

Now to start working on my lists instead of making them! Here’s to a good 2013!

I love my husband Chris with all of my heart and want to live just as long as he does and no longer. My soul will die when his does, whether my body does or not.

When I look in the mirror these days I frown at the blemishes and gray hair. I have gained a lot of weight and I don’t even feel like myself anymore. It is hard to exercise with chronic pain but I try. I wish I could look and feel like I once did BUT my husband is also gray, heavier and…. well he is just as lovable as ever. He has mellowed with age actually. He reminds me so much of his dad. Actually, the more I think about it…..

No. I am happy with the way things are. My husband doesn’t seem to mind that I have aged and I love him more every single day.

I am looking forward to living out the rest of my days with my husband. My kids are mostly grown and at some point I will (hopefully) have some grandchildren to love and spoil. And when I die, I am looking forward to seeing my mom and all of my other friends and relatives again. Heaven’s garden is being looked after by my angel mother.

I’m getting sick again so I’ve been more tired than normal the last few days. I don’t think it will be as bad as last time but everyone here is sniffling and sneezing. My youngest son is the most miserable. He doesn’t get sick very often but when he does he is pretty pitiful. We just had this long discussion about how your immune system works and why he feels like the longer he goes without getting sick the worse he feels when he is sick. He always gets to over-analyzing these things and then comes to me for expert medical advice LMAO Anyway, I ended up sleeping till almost 2pm and then just sat around in a daze and tryed to help my sick son. His eyes were pouring rivers and he was really confused by that. He wanted to know what that was happening and what to take to make it stop. Good thing there was no school today. I’m not sure if he will be able to go tomorrow or not. He can’t stand lights of any kind right now and closed every curtain in the house.

Well I hadn’t really thought about something to write today so I decided to go with a prompt from NaBloPoMo.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Tell us something that you believe with all your heart is true.

I believe in God and I know that he is real. I know, without a doubt that he hears my prayers. I know in the past I wasn’t so sure, especially since some of the people I grew up with, who also believed in God or even preached about God, did some things that were in direct contrast to what they were saying. When I met my husband I had decided it was all just a big lie that people used to make kids do what they wanted. I think in some cases that is actually true. Sadly, many people do use religion to control people. My mom was one of those submissive wives but I learned that not only does the bible say that wives should be submissive to their husband’s but it also goes the other way. Husband’s are to honor their wives but many [men] decide to forget about that part of the verse. How convenient.

Well, one day I was laying out on the grass in my front yard looking at the clouds and this butterfly flew over me and just hovered over my face for a few minutes. I watched it for what seemed like a long time and then watched as it fluttered around my yard and then flew off into the trees. As I looked up, following its path with my eyes, I saw the hills in the distance and how beautiful everything was. I just realized that this whole world and everything in it is amazing. Butterflies and bees are amazing to me. They help pollinate flowers and keep our ecosystem going. Our bodies are amazing too. Everything is made to work so perfectly. I think that is when I realized that God is real and just me not believing doesn’t mean he isn’t there. He always was.

I believe that God is present to different people in different ways and so even though I might share my beliefs with others I don’t expect them to change their own. I enjoy listening to other people talk about their beliefs, especially when they are so sure in them. Faith is a beautiful thing. Of course I don’t believe that God would tell someone to kill people…and themselves…. I think that is something different altogether. I don’t believe that people who don’t attend church, or who smoke, drink or swear are automatically bound for hell. I know that God is a loving God and wants people to love him but many people decide their way is right and are quick to condemn other’s who aren’t following all of their rules. The bible does say “judge not, that ye be not judged” (Matt 7:1)…. but people tend to forget that bit too.

I know that God loves me even when I don’t feel well. I know that God doesn’t cause pain but is there to help us through it. Sometimes bad things happen to people and it is easy for them to blame God but life isn’t always going to be easy for us and we grow through adversity. People will always die, because we are human, and accidents will always happen but God is always there for us in life and in death.

That is what I believe to be TRUE.

What do you believe to be true above anything else? If you don’t agree with me, that’s okay. I’d still like to know what you think.