I first saw this via Twitter, and to be honest I was a little disappointed. I mean, I was happy nobody got hurt, but I was disappointed that the bus driver was not nearly as incendiary as the video's title made him out to be. It was sort of like when I read "Finnegan's Wake," and it turned out there wasn't shit in there about water skiing.

Granted, as a New Yorker I may have an inordinately high threshold for having my personal space violated and my bike lane usage cockblocked, but it's not like the bus takes over the bike lane. Rather, it just sort of meanders into it briefly, like a randy teen inserting "just the tip," or a cat briefly brushing agaist your shins while you're on the toilet:

Furthermore, regardless of how inappropriate the bus driver's encroachment upon the bike lane may have been, when there's a bus up ahead of you and it starts drifting over into your lane don't try to overtake it--even if your goal is to upbraid the driver with your endearing Gaelic lilt. Sure, he may be in the wrong, but it's not worth the risk. Instead, drop back for your own safety, let the bus complete the maneuver, and then ride up along the opposite side, at which point you can proceed to tell Ralph Kramden how and where to suck it.

Also, it's possible the bus driver had to move to the left briefly to avoid another cyclist, since you can see someone slipping by on the right just before the bus starts moving into the bike lane:

Then as the videographer moves up the left side you can see the cyclist in the red shirt again, as well as some other cyclists through the windshield:

Here's one of them placing a phone call:

Hey, I'm not trying to blame the "victim" here. All I'm saying is that I expected a more exciting video, like something out of the movie "Speed." You know, driver leaning out of the window and screaming,"I'm gonna fucking kill you!," cyclist clinging to the windshield and repeatedly stabbing at it with a cordless drill in an attempt to bore through the driver's skull, passengers assuming crash positions and shrieking in terror as beads of perspiration appear on Sandra Bullock's cleavage, that sort of thing.

Considerably more dramatic was this video, which appears to come from South Africa, and which you've probably seen by now because it has been viewed like a billion times (though I was first alerted to it by Stevil Kinevil of All Hail the Black Market before it was cool):

Basically, some guy is riding along a trash-strewn trail not unlike the ones upon which I often find myself:

Then, a figure comes running towards him:

I'm tempted to say that if I saw a figure running towards me I'd have the wherewithal to turn and ride away, but the reality is that I'd probably freeze in place and proceed to wet myself.

At first, the rider is probably confused about what's happening, figuring maybe the guy is a handlebar inspector about to give him a ticket for using bar ends with riser bars. Then, the reality of the situation sets in, at which point the rider surely thinks to himself, "I can't believe I'm getting robbed by the guy from the Spin Doctors!"

As for the thief, you've got to figure he's pretty dumb, because everybody knows the best way to rob a mountain biker is to hang around the trailhead and break into his car while he's riding. You don't hold up the mountain biker himself. They're all wired for video, every last one of them! And sure enough, the thief proves his utter lack of mental acuity by staring right into the camera on the rider's helmet, screwing up his face, deciding it must be some kind of strange bird, and continuing with the robbery:

Then he and his accomplice run off, and the victim is like, "Well shit, I guess this is a hike now:"

The end.

Penultimately, here in New York City, the two most annoying cyclists in town have finally found each-other:

like two bikers passing in the night - w4m (Murray Hill)you: arab (?) guy in your late 20's, biking up 1st ave whilst balancing a bag with takeout on one handlebar. me: the girl in the red shirt biking ahead of you, who yelled at the pedestrian idling in the bike lane.you backed me up. yelled at her too, and then we had a short-lived romance lasting only a few blocks but filled with lots of joyous self-righteous co-yelling: at the guy riding the wrong way, the woman running in the bike lane. i just want you to know: we really could have had something - had you not yelled "bye baby, ride safe" as you parted. the end.

Wow. I hate bike lane interlopers as much as anybody, but if someone balancing a bag of takeout on his handlebar dared yell at me I'd knock his souvlaki to the pavement faster than you can say "make that to go."

Actually, that's not true. I'd probably just stand there and wet myself.

At first, the rider is probably confused about what's happening, figuring maybe the guy is a handlebar inspector about to give him a ticket for using bar ends with riser bars. Then, the reality of the situation sets in, at which point the rider surely thinks to himself, "I can't believe I'm getting robbed by the guy from the Spin Doctors!"

Speaking of annoying behaviour (maybe I'm just too easily annoyed). So I'm being shoaled by this flat bar road bike guy. Big deal, he gets a little lead going and I consistently pass him. No biggy. Annoying thing one, he tries and passes when it's very narrow or round a sharp turn. He must be fully cognizant that I will pass him later and it's risky behaviour for naught.Annoying thing 2, he never sits down on the saddle. He's doing an effeminate little dance to the left and the right, exaggeratedly swinging the bike in opposing little jaunts (like former Knoglight advert guy), and maybe his head is tilting this way and that. Now maybe he needs an elyptical trike thing? I wouldn't care about any of these by themselves it's just that I have to be subjected to this dissonance for a half a block each time. Maybe if he improved his pedal stroke and didn't twerk so much he'd make better headway.

I hardly ever get out of the saddle (in fact I use it as a 2 wheeled chair on the subway). Numba one, I am fat and I might break my wrists, numba 2 I use a messenger bag to carry my worldly stuff in, which would end up as a big pendulum and wreck me due to extra bad balance, and numba 3, most of my bikes don't seem to lend themselves to the position.

This morning I said "fuck it" and took the train.

With regards to bus and other motorist interaction. Other cyclists guys might hate the idear that I yield to everyone. There are some spaces where I surrender vs. "take" the lane. 'Specially after some douchebag cop-ette yelled at me for taking up too much lane. I didn't have a copy of the NY VeeHickle and Traffique Law to argue with her. Anyway Putin says it's better not to argue with women. A little stretch of 3rd Ave to Hamilton Ave in Brooklyn... people are fed up with waiting already, the curve that transitions 3rd Ave from under the Gowanus/BQE/278 towards 16th Street is a little bit of a blind turn, feels a little claustrophobic, traffic starts to open up for a block or 2. The morning idiots are quite predisposed to extra speed idiocy there. I put it on the curved sidewalk in that no mans (or no woman's) land for a block or 2. Maybe it's selfish but he who turns and runs away lives to fight another day. And the Ghost Bike Project folks would never put up a representative Reynolds 531 or Columbus SLX bike in my honor. And I'm sure the plaque would read "Wall St. DoucheBag - who cares?"

Spokey, that was as English as any of the 90 bazillion other barely intelligible accents over there and in the nearby UK. Different part of Dublin? Pretty authentic with the steering wheel on the other side though, wouldn't ya say?

Major disappointment - wasn't the video I saw last night. That one, the bus driver crept forward and taco'd the guy's back wheel.

In Winnipeg I get the bus-driver squeeze-out at least once a season. And by squeeze-out I mean like with the *middle* of the bus, where it attemtps to over take me and then lane changes while I'm beside it and have no where to go but into the curb or under the bus.

I gotta say, "fight or flee" really kicks in. If the bus gets close enough I end up hammering on the side of it, which has so far made it stop. "Brakes" is almost certainly a better idea but I never think of that, preferring to let go of the bars with the one hand for the hammering.

Not yet. I'm leaning towards laziness and going hirsute. I've still got a few weeks to decide.

One data point in favor of the Mr. Clean look though, last weekend we were on vacation and stumbled upon a crit, where the girl remarked "those guys have good looking legs, very fit." It was the 50+ vets and most looked a little soft. So maybe going clean will earn some extra loving.

I can't understand a word of the Irish English speaking folk, but I clearly understand Imarunnainadeetch in any dialect. And yes despite my tough talk if a guy with a gun approaches me on bike I will probably soil myself whilst being robbed and resort to duck walking home.

More on the veracity of the shark attack; that's an awful lot of the citi bike cyclist's blood that gets spattered on the wall.

Considering the rider appears to be slight of figure, the amount of blood represents near to his entire stockpile. Coupled with fact that it would have to have been all splashed in an instant as he was bitten by the shark indicates there's something fishy going on.

I'm not prepared to say it's a complete fabrication, but I'm pretty sure that second image has been subjected to some pretty heavy photoshopping.

I think anyone who rides looks at that robbery vid and wonders if the rider couldn't have just sped up and zinged out of there. The gunman looks like he has a hell of a time getting the gun up out of his breeches or whatever they were hung upon. I played it several times. And would he be able to hit my lycra ass zagging off down the wooded trail. He don't look skilled to me, you know, in the firearms usage.

And I gotta go with snob, that biker is annoying. And damn, what is up with driving a bus in Dublin anyway. The bikers were zinging around like angry bees. I would be scairt. And if I was a bus driver there, I would totally have about seven little painted bike shapes in a nice double row on the side of my cab.

You: 40-ish bleach blonde riding a mountain bike on the rail trail. You were wearing a big smile and an unzipped, flowery jersey. You were accompanied by confident, eye-catching twins.

Me: Youthful vintage guy on the vintage road bike in a screaming yellow jersey. I might have been a little bug-eyed, too.

I was surprised to see that you had turned around caught-up with me at the road crossing. I would have spoken to you except your impossibly long legs and extra tight shorts took my breath away, or maybe it was the battle against the 25-mile-per-hour head wind. Either way, you’re welcome to the draft, had I only known.

I would have been happy to lead out for the next mile, but I had to get my eyes back in my head before I could cross the road. By the way, it was the old(er) guy on the new bike that made the comment about “chasing that”, not me.

Despite appearances, I was not trying to catch you in an unsanctioned Cat 6 race. Instead, I was inspired by the inexorable pull… of… um… trying to get to a meeting on time, and I still had seven miles to go, really. If you still have doubts, please note that I overcame the nearly irresistible temptation to dally in your draft and I passed promptly, thereby allowing you some respite from the headwind. When I reached the next road crossing I was pleased to see that you were still with me. But, at the same time, I was a little disappointed when you continued toward the sunset, instead of following me up the hill to higher ground.

If we find ourselves on the same path again, I hope we can re-initiate the dance of the whirling pedals. Maybe you can introduce me to the twins.

Anyway, please forgive me if I offended you, because after age 50, it easy to be a fool without being an optimist, but it is impossible to be an optimist without being a fool.

I guess I've been lucky, even though I've suffered the usual hail of "suggestions and compliments".

Here's another.

A few years back I had a hand injury and couldn't ride, so a friend lent me his recumbent tricycle to commute with. It was one of those with "ape hanger" style handlebars, and frankly, I looked ridiculous on it (as anyone would). Riding through the 'hood after work to my kid's school, dude on the street with a 40oz. yells "Sweet ride!"

Cyclists get their cars broken into all the time here, especially female cyclists (the thieves know they'll leave their purses, etc. in the car). A woman who rides in our group had her car broken into as it was parked RIGHT ACROSS FROM THE POLICE STATION!! We park at the closest house to the intended ride as much as possible these days. I had my window smashed once but I don't leave anything in the truck at all.

I was once mooned by the occupant of the back seat of a car that passed me one afternoon. Thankfully it was a chick. Hate getin' mooned by guys.

There is nothing like rolling down some Tenn back road and coming across a yard full of 5 to 12 year old cause they will invariably cheer you on like you just crested Mt Ventoux. I raise my hands in victory and they go apeshit.

Parked in our town park at the big picnic pavilion, the park and the bpp are both busy places. Came back and found my rear window smashed. But they didn't find my hidden stash of cash, CC's, etc. Bwahaha.

Yes I too have borne the brunt of verbal abuse and flying beverage containers. The only positive comment was similar to a previous commenter. The guys on the garbage truck told me I was a "bad mother#%><$& for climbing these hills". I was absolutely stoked.

I had the rare privilege this afternoon of walking a few blocks near Port Authority and getting all touristy about the world-famous Bike Obstacle Lanes, which are exactly as they've been portrayed in this blog. Clearly New Yorkers in general consider them to be a handy sidewalk extension and free-parking-and-delivery area, among many other excellent uses. I saw a few bikes as well, and of course their placement, direction and speed were almost random, though none of them were on the actual sidewalk, because (I'm pretty sure) the pedestrians would have beaten them pulpy.

If you tour DC be sure to visit the National Phallic Symbol, recently repaired from earthquake damage. It too will not disappoint.

Evolution is rapidly creating squirrels and cyclists with incredible avoidance reflexes. Will serve well in the Space Tug Pilot Corps when we start mining the asteroid belt. Yes, the squirrels too. Huge brain not needed.

Had a jeep full of duders pull up next to me on a climb. One of them leans out holding a can. I thought, oh shit here it comes, he's going to throw it. Then he says "Hey man it's hot out, you wanna cold beer?"

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!