"There is nothing here to suggest that this is a complex physiological disease state akin to alcoholism or other substance abuse disorders, and it doesn't get to have the word addiction attached to it," said Dr. Stuart Gitlow of the American Society of Addiction Medicine and Mt. Sinai School of Medicine in New York.

Dr. Gitlow then ended the interview by waggling his thumbs in his ears, sticking his tongue out and shouting, "Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh."

You know what this means, don't you? If we want enough worker's comp time to solve Zelda, we're going to have to try a little harder.