“I’m The Ugliest Girl I Know” a Reblog

I reblogged this article from Being Lydia because, it was so powerful and well written. I think everyone has felt this way. I have never had good self-esteem of myself throughout my entire life. This comes from negative words spoken and negative actions from my childhood and youth. I never felt thin enough that is for sure. I thought I was gross and fat when I weighed 135 pounds when I was 29 years old and was working out. This was right before I began having children… and then there was a few pounds I couldn’t get rid of after childbirth and then the tsunami of bipolar hit with all of its many weight gaining medications and the rest was history. I never felt I my face was pretty either, but make-up was my magic and helped me feel better about how my face looked.

I have to say the stigma of mental illness has negatively affected my self-esteem as well. Most of the time I try to forget about the many negative events and experiences I have lived through and survived since my diagnosis of bipolar and other mental illnesses and try holding my head high. However, the truth and reality of mental illness stigma sometimes wins and weighs heavier on my soul and weighs me down.

That title is a quote from Pink’s acceptance speech at the VMA awards and refers to what her 6-year-old daughter, Willow, said on her way to school one day. However, it is something I said many times myself at that age and all through my life.

Pink’s speech is very powerful and should be seen by every girl – no, every female regardless of age because sexuality bullying knows no boundaries.

When I was in grade one or two I had to start wearing clunky orthopedic shoes because I was pigeon-toed. They were brown and did actually look like boy’s shoes. Also, my mom kept my hair in a pixy cut. As a result, I was called “a boy in a dress” at school and everywhere I went.

This bullying progressed to being called a dog, a clutz, a fat pig, and other such endearing terms. I tried wearing different…

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Published by myloudbipolarwhispers

It is my passion in life to help others in as many ways as I can. I want to share my story to help others know they are not alone and to increase awareness and educate about bipolar disorder, PTSD and all mental illnesses. I also want to reduce the stigma of mental illness and the stigma associated with suicide and to prevent suicides and save lives.
I have given many presentations to share my story, inspire others, increase awareness, educate and reduce the stigma of mental illness and suicide. I have given presentations at a local University, spoken as a certified NAMI presenter and spoke to police officers and social workers for their Crisis Intervention Training. I have also been interviewed by our local newspaper and news station to share my story.
I want to be a voice for the many people that cannot speak up for themselves. I want to make my voice heard loud and strong for many to hear and learn from and prayerfully be inspired from.
I have written one book titled "My Bipolar Memoir of Poetry and Hope" which is a compilation of my many poems and prose to share my story and journey of living, surviving and thriving with bipolar disorder. My book is full of honesty, sorrows, loss, resiliency, perseverance, encouragement, love, faith and hope. You can buy my book online on at Lulu.com, Amazon and Barnes and Noble. I hope you like it.
My first book is like a prequel to my upcoming, real and entire memoir of my story and journey of my life living with mental illness. I am in the process of writing my new memoir. My story will have parts of my journal entries I have saved for over 25 years. It is difficult to remember exactly the way you were feeling during your darkest hours after your light is shining again. So, my journal entries will help convey my pain, sorrows and true feelings my bipolar 1 disorder and PTSD caused during my darkest hours. But, just like my blog, my memoir will also prayerfully encourage and inspire others to know that there is always hope for a brighter tomorrow, day, future and life.
God has saved my life numerous times and he continues to love me and save my life. He is always with me through all of my struggles, holding my hand and catching all my tears. There is always hope and recovery is possible. I am living proof of that. We must always have faith and hope...
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You are very welcome. I did not write this… but I had to reblog it because I loved it as well. It was written and posted by Being Lydia. I had to reblog this one. It touched my heart and soul. It was so powerful and written well and very beautifully. I loved “Pink’s” video as well, but it broke my heart at the same time that her beautiful daughter feels that way about herself. Hopefully, Pink’s love and powerful statements will help her little girl and many other young girls and older people around the world. Hugs, Sue