I know it’s annoying when people want to tell you about their dreams, but this dream I had recently was very short and it caused me to abruptly wake up laughing.

In my dream, our veterinarian told me one of our cats was sick. In my dream, I also had the magic power from the book/movie The Green Mile, where a guy could suck the illness out of people, by sort of inhaling it from their lungs (the illness looked like a cloud of insects). So, I inhaled the sickness out of my cat’s mouth and into my own lungs.

Then I was walking around holding my breath, looking for somewhere to safely exhale the sickness. Actor DJ Qualls (pictured above) was standing nearby. I went over to him and exhaled my cat’s sickness into DJ Qualls’ mouth.

In my dream, we then JUMP CUT to DJ Qualls sitting in his doctor’s office.

The doctor says to DJ Qualls: “You have cat herpes.”

Fin.

Notes:

The reason I dreamed our cat was sick was probably because I’ve had to take both our cats to the vet a couple times recently (they’re both fine).

The reason DJ Qualls was in my dream, I think, is that I recently watched a couple old episodes of Breaking Bad, and he was in one.

I don’t know why The Green Mile was in my dream: I have not thought about the book or movie in years.

I do not know if jump cuts are common in my dreams. I can’t recall another instance of one. It was used to excellent comic effect, however.

I do not know if “cat herpes” is a real thing.

I can’t imagine how many tests poor DJ Qualls was subjected to before it was determined he had cat herpes. It’s probably not the first thing doctors look for in sick human patients.

Kudos to the dream doctor’s delivery of his one line. It was completely deadpan.

My deepest apologies to actor DJ Qualls for his unwitting involvement. I think he is a fine actor and I wish him only the best of success and continued good health.