Of course this would only happen to me. I mean what are the chances? I’m out on a date with one guy and at the same time, this is the text exchange I have with another OKCupid guy I was scheduled to go out with the next week:

Him: If you don’t think I’m gonna comment on this, you’re mistaken.
Me: Haha so is that your comment? Or do you have more up your sleeve?
Him: I mean, aside from that being a lovely leopard print shirt, I may just leave it at that.

Completely caught red-handed. I never saw this coming either because the guys were from completely different areas of the city. Since I still really wanted to go out with this guy, I tried to reconcile things the next morning. Thankfully, he thought all of it was pretty funny.

Me: So since that text I’ve been contemplating a suitable response. But I must say… I’m speechless haha. That’s what I get for wearing animal print.
Me: Sooo… same place next week? Let’s just sit at the same table this time.
Him: Hahahaha animal print’s always a good choice! But come on, it’s super easy to make fun of “loud guy watching sports game.” (And yes, I did mention in my previous post how I noticed some guy making a ruckus when a certain college basketball team won a game at the last second.)
Him: And haha sure, sounds good to me!

So the date was set, and we were meeting at the same exact place I had gone the week before. From the Uber ride (same exact driver as the week before – and yes, he remembered me) to the bartenders (same exact bartender – and yes, he remembered me too), this date had a lot of repeats. Fortunately, there weren’t as many problematic repeats as the previous week, but there were still enough…

Problem #1: Kinda Catfish
Part of the reason I noticed the “loud guy watching sports game” but never even somewhat recognized him was because his profile didn’t provide a very clear picture of what he looked like present day. It’s not like he was pulling a stunt like so many people on the show Catfish, but there was enough ambiguity to make me unsure of whether or not I’d easily spot him upon arriving for the date. It was not like other guys whose height was the only thing that was deceiving; his pictures all actually looked quite different. Basically, he had some pictures with a full head of hair and looking great, while others were of a balding guy who barely resembled the other pictures. In photos of more than one person, it was a guessing game for which guy he was. Let’s be honest, if he looked like the better looking guy with lots of hair, I wouldn’t have considered this to be a problem. But he didn’t, and that’s why it is.

Problem #2: Juan Pablo Syndrome
It’s funny…because of all of the guys I have gone out with, this guy is the most I had in common with. So you would think that it would be a good back-and-forth two-way conversation, right? WRONG. He talked so loud and so fast and so much that I never had a chance to fit in a word. After a while I started to just cut him off to get my two cents in.

Problem #3: Chronic Swearer
Plain and simple – he swore too often, and the F-bomb was easily his favorite word. To make matters worse, he was REALLY loud, so I wasn’t the only one who had to endure his language.

Despite all of this, it wasn’t thaaaat bad of a date. He was funny, which did (almost) make up for (some of) his downfalls. I had intended to give him a second shot, but the next date we could work out was almost two weeks out, and by then I was over it. On to the next one.

Somehow, most dates I go on end up being at least two hours where I have at least three drinks. This next date – also from Coffee Meets Bagel – lasted less than an hour, and we only had one drink (thankfully). Here are the major reasons why:

Problem #1: Chronic Swearer
I will be the first to admit that I swear; most people do. But when you have the mouth of a sailor in public with a total stranger that you should be trying to impress, it is not attractive. This guy was dropping F-bombs left and right. He also was not a quiet guy, so I wasn’t even the only person who had to endure the string of curse words that he was just rolling off.

Problem #2: Juan Pablo Syndrome
No explanation necessary. Classic case of the guy who loves to hear himself talk about how awesome he thinks he is.

Problem #3: Judge Judy
It sounds hypocritical for me to say I don’t like guys who judge people when I have a blog dedicated to doing just that. But I’m not on a date with you right now. While we were having our one drink, this guy made a comment about how he thought our bartender was overweight (she wasn’t), how the woman on TV’s boobs were showing too much (he was kind of right…but stop looking at her boobs), and he even had the nerve to criticize what I was drinking. He wasn’t poking fun at it; he was straight up judging Regina George-style. Whatever, I just didn’t let him buy me another drink. I said I had to catch the T and peaced out.

To date, this is the only date I went on and didn’t even attempt to offer to pay.