Guide to the Jewish Wedding

Learn the deeper significance of a Jewish wedding, and print out a copy for the wedding guests, too!

A traditional Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals, symbolizing the beauty of the relationship of husband and wife, as well as their obligations to each other and to the Jewish people.

The following guide explains the beauty and joy of these the Jewish wedding traditions.

The Wedding Day

The dawning wedding day heralds the happiest and holiest day of one's life. This day is considered a personal Yom Kippur for the chatan (Hebrew for groom) and kallah (bride), for on this day all their past mistakes are forgiven as they merge into a new, complete soul.

As on Yom Kippur, both the chatan and kallah fast (in this case, from dawn until after the completion of the marriage ceremony). And at the ceremony, the chatan wears a kittel, the traditional white robe worn on Yom Kippur.

[Sefardim do not have the custom to fast and wear a kittel.]

Kabbalat Panim

It is customary for the chatan and kallah not to see each other for one week preceding the wedding. This increases the anticipation and excitement of the event. Therefore, prior to the wedding ceremony, the chatan and kallah greet guests separately. This is called "Kabbalat Panim."

Jewish tradition likens the couple to a queen and king. The kallah will be seated on a "throne" to receive her guests, while the chatan is surrounded by guests who sing and toast him.

At this time there is an Ashkenazi tradition for the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom to stand together and break a plate. The reason is to show the seriousness of the commitment ― just as a plate can never be fully repaired, so too a broken relationship can never be fully repaired.

Badeken

Next comes the badeken, the veiling of the kallah by the chatan. The veil symbolizes the idea of modesty and conveys the lesson that however attractive physical appearances may be, the soul and character are paramount. It is reminiscent of Rebecca covering her face before marrying Isaac (Genesis ch. 24).

The Ashkenazi custom is that the chatan, accompanied by family and friends, proceeds to where the kallah is seated and places the veil over her face. This signals the groom's commitment to clothe and protect his wife.

Chuppah

The wedding ceremony takes place under the chuppah (canopy), a symbol of the home that the new couple will build together. It is open on all sides, just as Abraham and Sarah had their tent open all sides to welcome people in unconditional hospitality.

The Ashkenazi custom is to have the chuppah ceremony outside under the stars, as a sign of the blessing given by God to the patriarch Abraham, that his children shall be "as the stars of the heavens" (Genesis 15:5). Sefardim generally have the chuppah indoors.

The Ashkenazi custom is that the chatan and kallah wear no jewelry under the chuppah (marriage canopy). Their mutual commitment is based on who they are as people, not on any material possessions.

The kallah follows the chatan, and both are usually escorted to the chuppah by their respective sets of parents.

Under the chuppah, the Ashkenazi custom is that the kallah circles the chatan seven times. Just as the world was built in seven days, the kallah is figuratively building the walls of the couple's new world together. The number seven also symbolizes the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately.

The kallah then settles at the chatan's right-hand side.

[At this point, the Sefardic custom is that the chatan says the blessing She'hecheyanu over a new tallit, and has in mind that the blessing also goes on the marriage. The tallit is then held by four young men over the head of the chatan and kallah.]

Blessings of Betrothal (Kiddushin)

Two cups of wine are used in the wedding ceremony. The first cup accompanies the betrothal blessings, recited by the rabbi. After these are recited, the couple drinks from the cup.

Wine, a symbol of joy in Jewish tradition, is associated with Kiddush, the sanctification prayer recited on Shabbat and festivals. Marriage, called Kiddushin, is the sanctification of a man and woman to each other.

Giving of the Ring

In Jewish law, a marriage becomes official when the chatan gives an object of value to the kallah. This is traditionally done with a ring. The ring should be made of plain gold, without blemishes or ornamentation (e.g. stones) ― just as it is hoped that the marriage will be one of simple beauty.

The chatan now takes the wedding ring in his hand, and in clear view of two witnesses, declares to the kallah, "Behold, you are betrothed unto me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel." He then places the ring on the forefinger of the bride's right hand. According to Jewish law, this is the central moment of the wedding ceremony, and at this point the couple is fully married.

If the kallah also wants to give a ring to the chatan, this is only done afterwards, not under the chuppah. This is to prevent confusion as to what constitutes the actual marriage, as prescribed by the Torah.

Ketubah (Marriage Contract)

Now comes the reading of the ketubah (marriage contract) in the original Aramaic text. The ketubah outlines the chatan's various responsibilities ― to provide his wife with food, shelter and clothing, and to be attentive to her emotional needs. Protecting the rights of a Jewish wife is so important that the marriage may not be solemnized until the contract has been completed.

The document is signed by two witnesses, and has the standing of a legally binding agreement. The ketubah is the property of the kallah and she must have access to it throughout their marriage. It is often written amidst beautiful artwork, to be framed and displayed in the home.

The reading of the ketubah acts as a break between the first part of the ceremony ― Kiddushin ("betrothal"), and the latter part ― Nissuin ("marriage").

The Seven Blessings

The Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot) are now recited over the second cup of wine. The theme of these blessings links the chatan and kallah to our faith in God as Creator of the world, Bestower of joy and love, and the ultimate Redeemer of our people.

These blessings are recited by the rabbi or other people that the families wish to honor.

At the conclusion of the seven blessings, the chatan and kallah again drink some of the wine.

Breaking the Glass

A glass is now placed on the floor, and the chatan shatters it with his foot. This serves as an expression of sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and identifies the couple with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people. A Jew, even at the moment of greatest rejoicing, is mindful of the Psalmist's injunction to "set Jerusalem above my highest joy."

In jest, some explain that this is the last time the groom gets to "put his foot down."

(In Israel, the Ashkenazi custom is that the glass is broken earlier, prior to the reading of the ketubah. Sefardim always break the glass at the end of the ceremony, even in Israel.)

This marks the conclusion of the ceremony. With shouts of "Mazel Tov," the chatan and kallah are then given an enthusiastic reception from the guests as they leave the chuppah together.

Yichud

The couple is then escorted to a private "yichud room" and left alone for a few minutes. These moments of seclusion signify their new status of living together as husband and wife.

Since the couple has been fasting since the morning, at this point they will also have something to eat.

[Sefardim do not have the custom of the yichud room; the chatan and kallah immediately proceed to the wedding hall after the chuppah ceremony.]

The Festive Meal (Seudah)

It is a mitzvah for guests to bring simcha (joy) to the chatan and the kallah on their wedding day. There is much music and dancing as the guests celebrate with the new couple; some guests entertain with feats of juggling and acrobatics.

After the meal, Birkat Hamazon (Grace After Meals) is recited, and the Sheva Brachot are repeated.

During the week following the wedding, it is customary for friends and relatives to host festive meals in honor of the chatan and kallah. This is called the week of Sheva Brachot, in reference to the blessings said at the conclusion of each of these festive meals.

If both the bride and groom are marrying for the second time, sheva brachot are recited only on the night of the wedding. The last bracha, Asher Bara, can be recited for three days.

Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

Chaplain Shlomo Shulman, an alumni of Aish HaTorah in Jerusalem, heads home this week to his wife and two daughters at Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah, Georgia, where he is stationed. Shulman grew up in Beverly Hills, graduated with a degree in journalism from San Diego State, and worked in the field of environmental education. Write to him at a.shulman@us.army.mil.

Visitor Comments: 187

When my dad converted, I lost so much of my religion and culture. This website is helping me find it again, and I couldn't be happier - thank you!!

leah,
May 29, 2015 12:13 AM

u r corect

right now in class my group has to role play a jewish wedding and the website is an awsome wonder.i agree with u 100% :)

(183)
Anonymous,
December 28, 2014 4:17 PM

Will the kids be raise Jewish if mom is jewish and dad a Christian?

(182)
Patt Taku,
September 26, 2014 12:45 AM

Planning to have a Jewish wedding

I would like to know more about a Jewish wedding,

(181)
Anonymous,
June 7, 2014 2:46 PM

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(180)
re student,
October 17, 2013 12:52 PM

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(179)
JennieSchmitzJES555@gmail.com,
October 9, 2013 7:51 AM

Thank you for being there for this information for my wedding!

I am so grateful for this information being available to me on this most important day in my life!! and that I'm reading this at 2:50 in the morning at my own home. Thank You!!

(178)
John,
July 25, 2013 6:07 AM

This has such deep meaning in their covenant made

Thank you for having this website. Is there any provision of hope declared during the ceremony focused upon the Messiah?

Jay McCrensky, Ph.D.,
October 24, 2014 9:31 PM

Yes, the breaking of the glass.

The breaking of the glass can be understood as a symbol of the shivirat hakalim in Kabbalah. It reminds of tikun olam, the mission of repairing the world.

(177)
Anonymous,
January 29, 2013 4:06 PM

There seems to be a lot of ignorance about Sephardi wedding customs.
I

Michael,
April 12, 2013 2:02 AM

As a Sephardic Jew, I'm not sure what you mean. What they've written seems to fall right into the Sephardic customs that I had at my wedding and grew up with seeing at others.

(176)
Rev. Priyanath Rufus,
January 19, 2013 1:26 PM

This is first time I see this site. Happy to know more. Thanks for the info.

(175)
Anonymous,
December 6, 2012 11:17 PM

This helped me a lot! I'm in high school and doing a research project on a culture/country on rights of passage and this really helped! Thanks :)

(174)
Steve in SC,
October 2, 2012 1:06 AM

breaking the glass

I do not mean to be ignorant with this question, I ask this in all sincerity.
When the third Temple is built, will this part be excluded? It would only make sense in my mind to stop this tradition at that point, due to the joy of the newly build third Temple.
Thanks in advance.

(173)
Fortune,
August 27, 2012 10:27 PM

the article made my night a special one

I am an African Jew and i love to read jewish articles. this article is nice and it mad my night great.

(172)
Anonymous,
June 26, 2012 2:32 AM

Very Helpful

Thank you so much for writing this introduction. I am a notary and a couple has asked me to perform their civil ceremony with some Jewish elements. They are waiting for full conversion of one of the parties for the religious ceremony. I have a better understanding of the traditions now. I will have an easier time when we meet to plan the actual ceremony know.

(171)
Tebby,
June 24, 2012 11:37 AM

Thank you very much 4 the information. I am a religious education teacher and we teaching rites of passage in Judaism this really helped!

(170)
Anonymous,
June 6, 2012 2:26 PM

Why are the Sephardic traditions in brackets??

While I am impressed & happy that Sephardic traditions are actually mentioned here, I do not understand why they are all in brackets, as though they are side notes. In the 'Breaking of the Glass' section, the Jewish custom is mentioned and then the different traditions are both in brackets, which makes sense. Otherwise the article should just be called "Guide To The Ashkenazi Jewish Wedding".

(169)
mpho motlhasedi,
June 2, 2012 7:37 PM

this is perfect,thanx for the information

I am not a jew but i love too know a lot about Jewish staff l also need to know the language,songs and prayers

(168)
Mary Ann Dennis,
May 22, 2012 1:27 PM

As an event planner in Western, MA, I needed to be refreshed re: the beautiful traditions and their purpose. Thank you for the attention to detail given. www.alleventsreaized.com

(167)
Anonymous,
May 20, 2012 2:58 PM

Beautiful

I'm not doing course work, just interested in Jewish customs. This description was really beautiful. I loved it. Thank you.

(166)
Anonymous,
May 17, 2012 7:31 PM

Thanks

This really helped in my school project. Thanks

(165)
Anonymous,
May 8, 2012 5:48 PM

thank you! although i am not jewish, this really helped me with my project on judaism. thank you again

(164)
stanground college,
April 24, 2012 8:25 AM

Thank you!

Thanks for the really good info. Helped me in my project x

(163)
Anonymous,
March 13, 2012 6:14 PM

thank you this will help greatly towards some project work

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(162)
aiah,
February 16, 2012 4:58 AM

thanks for the good insight.

(161)
Anonymous,
February 12, 2012 5:08 AM

this site is very insightful!! Its simple and easy to understand. thanks to the site maker....you may have helped me pass my assignment :)

(160)
Russell M. Robert,
February 4, 2012 9:11 PM

Your special day.

Thank you for thinking of your guests at this special time. I wish you both many years of happiness and joy from the shared committment to one another that this wedding tradition conveys. I enjoyed learning about this Jewish wedding tradition.

(159)
gaz,
December 11, 2011 4:45 PM

Very good

this is a really good guide . it helped me quite a bit x

(158)
michael pariser,
November 9, 2011 4:34 PM

reading the ketubah accurately

Can anyone recommend a site that has a ketubah with n'kudot?
If so, please let me know at mpariser@thejec.org
thanks.

(157)
Replacement Glass Leicester,
September 22, 2011 1:04 PM

This is very well explained for those who are not aware of the meaning of a Jewish wedding.

(156)
Anonymous,
June 15, 2011 6:21 AM

very good

it is very comprehensive. However, there should be some additional comments about
Family Purity and Ritularium for the Hatan and Kallah. Also, separate seating or mixed seating. In addition tofasting mention the recital of the
Vidui. Also, Sepharadim do not observe not seeing each other during the previous week. Many non Sepharadim in Israel also don
Talit for
Shehehyanu in recent years.
Also,, the proper custom is for the Hatan to spread the
talit over himself and theKallah and not over the other people standing nearby. Ashkenazim have the parents carry a candle each symboizing Ner=250 and another Ner another 250 = 500 the numerical equivalent of Peru Urevu be fruitful and multiply. These are a few suggestions. Overall the description is excellent and informative for all attending who are not familiar with the wedding traditions.

(155)
Simcha Maker,
May 17, 2011 7:05 PM

Getting Married in Israel

Getting married in Israel is a sure way for having a great simcha. There are many companies eager to assist with your Wedding in Israel. Most will also help out with all the rabbinate and religious procedures and make sure that you have a memory for life!

(154)
Anonymous,
March 29, 2011 9:59 AM

Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals

Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals, symbolizing the beauty of the relationship of husband and wife, as well as their obligations to each other and to the Jewish people.

(153)
harris,
March 29, 2011 9:58 AM

Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals, symbolizing the beauty of the relationship of husband and wife, as well as their obligations to each other and to the Jewish people. You can organize your dream ceremony, from the most unique to the most sublime

(152)
Anonymous,
March 21, 2011 1:19 AM

Great site for a non-Jew attending a Jewish Wedding

Explained the Chuppah, which we have been asked to do a section of (a square). Also made us smart about the Jewish wedding process so we can be respectful during our friends wedding. Good site.

(151)
jew,
February 28, 2011 9:06 PM

jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

jews rule

(150)
debbie,
February 3, 2011 2:13 PM

This information is fascinating, as a non Jewish person, I'm trying to find a way to teach my infant class about Judaism & bring it to life, with the information on this page, I'm going to get my 4-7 year olds to act out a Jewish wedding!

(149)
Veronica Harper,
January 25, 2011 6:05 PM

Thanks

I am currently studying Judiasm in R.E and i have a piece of coursework to hand in about the Jewish LIfe Cycle so this is a big help! :)

(148)
Anonymous,
July 27, 2010 9:11 AM

Getting married in Israel

I suggest getting married in Israel.
You have Israeli event planners like Wedding in Israel that can plan and produce everything for you.

(147)
Rochel,
May 25, 2010 7:28 PM

Thank you so much!

I am so happy that this was available! I gave it out at my wedding and it really helped a lot of the guests. I recommend anyone that is having a Jewish wedding that they want to be more meaningful for their friends and family to print this out and give it to them. The earlier the better! Thanks again :)

(146)
Avraham,
March 14, 2010 2:42 AM

Jewish wedding music

Let's not forget the music! If you would like to see a video of a Jewish wedding with live music as well as free jewish sheet music for download go to http://www.livejewishmusic.com

(145)
,
March 3, 2010 1:35 PM

this is cool

(144)
Mrs.Epstein,
February 14, 2010 2:22 PM

Ketubah for second (third,etc.) marriage

There is a different ketubah for a bride who was previousy married. You don't ever need to buy a ketubah at a gift store. Your rabbi will have a non-fancy one in his office. Not everyone has the custom to hang up and publicly display their ketubah. Some people think it should be private (especially if the woman doesn't want people to read it and know she was previously married to someone else). It is a contract and can be safely stored in a secure place but needs to be stored in the house. If I remember correctly, the wording of the second time around ketubah has to do with the bride's value in coins. It is assumed that a first time bride is a virgin and they are worth more (monetarily in case the marriage dissolves). But I like how ketubot spell out the husband's obigations to his wife such as intimacy,food,clothing,and other basic human needs.

(143)
D.K. Milgrim-Heath,
February 12, 2010 3:01 PM

A Guide To A Jewish Weeking When You're Married

A Guide To A Jewish Wedding When You're Married
By D.K. Milgrim-Heath
A guide to a Jewish wedding where you're married-
Explains everything to guests as read when carried.
Religious meanings made understandable that say-
Jewish wedding traditions are different in our way.
Can anything be worse as you truly can't comprehend-
A wedding ceremony from its start to its end!
All wedding ceremonies have many points to show-
Their very different rituals started so long ago.
By this most informative wedding guide I did learn-
I don't know everything so this guide is where I turn.

(142)
miriam,
January 22, 2010 8:00 AM

that was so insightful, it showed me the true meaning and spiritual depth behind all the symbolism. it really is a beautiful and sacred event. makes me want to get married.

(141)
zeesi - illuminations from jerusalem,
January 12, 2010 12:14 PM

great summery of the wedding

as a ketubah designer my clients often seek a written overview of the details of the wedding, this is great I will refer people to your link!

(140)
Wedding planner in Israel,
December 19, 2009 10:40 PM

MEANINGFUL WEDDINGS IN ISRAEL

This was a very well explained article. Having your wedding ceremony in Israel add so much meaning and spiritualism to the Jewish wedding ceremony!

(139)
samnoonee,
December 14, 2009 8:02 PM

thanks for that rs essay help :]

(138)
Esther,
December 4, 2009 8:26 AM

what about people without any family?

what happens when a BT and a convert marry and neither have any family interested in Judaism whatsoever? it will be a miracle if anyone out of our families attend

(137)
riivka,
November 29, 2009 4:36 PM

thanks for including info of second marriages

What a meaninful article on a sacred subject. Following
this timeless traditions adds so much to a ceremony. thanks for the reminder!

(136)
michael,
November 4, 2009 9:21 PM

thanks a lot had a assessement needed doing in 2 days

thanks a lot this help a lot for my r:e assessement thanks creater A LOT

(135)
Anonymous,
October 11, 2009 8:56 AM

Thanks guys:) Helped me a lot in my RS homework:D

(134)
Anonymous,
October 7, 2009 4:37 PM

very help full for R.E. home work :)
well done !

(133)
hinda L,
September 27, 2009 2:38 AM

very informative. Even people who are Jewish should read this so they will know what is going on. Although most of these customs are for orthodox Jews, ALL Jewish people should know about them

(132)
David Notowitz,
September 11, 2009 6:34 PM

Meaningful weddings are so much more powerful!

Rabbi,
I shoot and edit video in Los Angeles of weddings all the time. I see brides and grooms, chatans and kallahs, that know what they are doing, and those that do not. It's such a more powerful experience when the families and the bride and groom know what they are doing and why! As a videographer and editor whose job it is to observe and capture the memories, I can feel the difference. Thanks for helping them step in the right direction with a meaningful wedding day and a meaningful marriage!
All the best.
Notowitz Productions

(131)
Betty Moses,
July 26, 2009 1:28 PM

Just one comment. Sefardim, do have a custom where bride & groom fast on their wedding day.

(130)
Kathe Vinaja,
July 10, 2009 6:01 AM

We will be attending a wedding this Dec in Tel Aviv. We have neve been to or seen a jewish wedding. This info has been very helpfull. We look forward to this lovely event.

(129)
Anna,
June 9, 2009 11:19 PM

Planning a ceremony

I am a wedding celebrant and this information has been invaluable in planning a ceremony .
Many thanks

(128)
Josephine,
May 25, 2009 12:14 PM

Very informative piece. Thanks.

The wedding ritual is all rounded and alot of thought and details are put together with an everlasting marriage in mind.

I will be going to a Jewish wedding on Sunday and this info is very helpful. I will be better able to appreciate and enjoy this special event.

(125)
Champo,
March 26, 2009 3:33 AM

Yeah!!

lol.. Copy, Paste=assignment done.
Kudos =p

(124)
dude :D,
March 25, 2009 5:16 AM

:D

thanks, youve just done my re homework :D

(123)
Anonymous,
March 24, 2009 8:52 AM

Wonderful description

I knew about some of the wedding customs, but this put everything together so perfectly. What a lovely, romantic, sentimental, joyful (yet also quite solemn) tradition. It's beautiful that the kallah is to be so cherished by her chatan. All marriages should be this meaningful.

(122)
Darling,
March 18, 2009 7:28 PM

awwwww

Its soooo romantic!

(121)
Peanut Butter,
March 16, 2009 5:24 PM

Thank you sooo much If I hadn't found this website I would've like failed my Project due tommorow. I really appreciate this website you guys put together!

(120)
Anonymous,
March 11, 2009 8:16 PM

YEAHS!

Thank you sooo sooo much
i am doing my project like tommorrow
and i have like nothing
but this really helped get me going
thankss :]

(119)
????????????????,
March 8, 2009 2:42 PM

great

THANK YOU A LODE

(118)
Anonymous,
February 26, 2009 11:29 AM

Thanks soo much

this really helped me out on a prject i had 2 do for familt relations

(117)
Anonymous,
February 24, 2009 5:42 AM

This is SOOO useful. Thankyiou so much. It's so clear and i really understood it!!It helped me finish my homework so now i can focus on the significance.

(116)
Amber K,
February 6, 2009 9:54 AM

Amazing

This Site is wonderful. I am a teacher and am teaching my students about weddings in different religions. This site made it so easy and clear to be able top understand all the ceremonies and their significance. I will recommend it to all the other teacher's at my school.

(115)
Judy,
January 25, 2009 10:32 AM

THIS SITE IS AMAZING! IT HAS EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT THE JEWISH MARRIAGE CUSTOMS FOR MY SCHOOL PROJECT! THANS ALOT!!! <333

(114)
beths grammar school,
January 19, 2009 2:47 PM

thank you

this has helped a lot on a project thank you ever so much

(113)
Anonymous,
January 18, 2009 9:57 AM

thank you

this helped me lots in a school project! Its some great information

(112)
Anonymous,
December 30, 2008 8:25 AM

this information helped me for a project on traditions and i realy like this tradition

(111)
Anonymous,
December 18, 2008 4:07 PM

wow

Thanks. This helped me ALOT on a project! :)

(110)
Anne,
October 29, 2008 2:15 PM

Thanks for printing this.
My friend is getting married on Sunday and I've never been to a Jewish wedding before, so I found it useful.

(109)
Anonymous,
September 12, 2008 8:15 AM

thank you

thanx im using this a religon project !!!!

(108)
Dennis Briskin,
August 14, 2008 11:46 AM

Contemporary Standards and Practices More Complex

My comment on the ketubah is only to point out that what it actually says is "food, clothing and conjugal rights." Just as one cannot derive and understand contemporary Judaism just from reading the Hebrew Bible (Chumash) and the Talmud, so our laws and customs regarding marriage, and all other aspects of Jewish life, are far more complex and subtle than what's in the literal text of the marriage contract (ketubah). I would agree with Rabbi Shulman that widespread Jewish ideals for marriage include emotional support to the extent spouses can give that to each other regardless of whether it's in the text of the ketubah.

(107)
Dennis Briskin,
August 14, 2008 1:15 AM

Groom's Obligations: Tell it Straight Without Euphemisms

The author says the ketubah requires the groom "to provide food, shelter and clothing for his wife, and to be attentive to her emotional needs." A very misleading half-truth. The text requires him to provide her food, clothing and CONJUGAL RIGHTS. (my emphasis) The Talmud (tractate Ketubot) contains detailed discussion of how often a man is required to have relations with his wife based on where he lives and how long his work requires him to be away. Every day for a man who studies Torah locally and lives at home. Workers in their own town twice a week. Workers out of town once a week. Once every six months for a sailor. (Ketubot, pages 62A-B, Steinsaltz Translation and Commentary) The rabbis even asked the question: May a husband make a career change without his wife's permission in order to better his financial situation, if that change will reduce his conjugal obligation? Abaye said "A woman would rather be poor and enjoy frequent sexual intercourse with her husband than be rich and without him. So he cannot change his work without her permission."

(106)
Aimee,
June 22, 2008 10:58 PM

Thank you

This was helpful to me learning more about Jewish Weddings. Thank you again.

(105)
nell,
June 13, 2008 10:15 PM

Thank you

Thanks very helpfull for my future wedding personal Yom kippur.

(104)
sam,
June 10, 2008 5:32 AM

helpful

this website is the best =D

(103)
vladimir,
June 10, 2008 2:13 AM

perfect

So very helpfull. Will come handy, I'll be a guest, though at the wedding.

(102)
Alex,
June 8, 2008 11:48 AM

great

thanks. this is really useful for my key assignment.

(101)
Keren,
May 24, 2008 8:45 PM

Very informative

Thank you so much for your thorough and detailed description of a jewish wedding, it was very useful for my course.

(100)
Anonymous,
May 24, 2008 8:04 AM

thanx i tryed a load of web sites and this was the best thanx

(99)
claire,
May 20, 2008 3:15 PM

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(98)
dominic,
April 30, 2008 7:45 AM

This was really good. It really helped me alot with my revision for my R.E test. I got an A*!

(97)
Nichole,
April 10, 2008 10:58 AM

Helpful And Clear.

THANK YOU. I Have A Prject In School Where We Are Studying Weddings In Different Religions, And This Was Incredibly Helpful.

(96)
Chloe,
March 31, 2008 2:12 PM

Thanks Guys This Site Really Helped Me With My Homework..

(95)
Jordan,
March 31, 2008 8:43 AM

Excellent information for my school project!! Thanx guys!

(94)
Tom Gardiner,
March 29, 2008 7:07 PM

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Cheers People for this info. It really helps having clear and understanable words.

(93)
Josh,
March 26, 2008 1:13 PM

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(92)
Michael Perry,
March 13, 2008 7:40 PM

Top Notch

you have made my understanding ubdantly clear of marriage...brilliant info!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxo

(91)
Caio Wilmot,
March 10, 2008 1:59 PM

Amazing

Brill for R.E.projects.Thanks Shlomo Shulman.

(90)
Ted Williams,
March 1, 2008 2:37 PM

great for R.E homework

FAB!!

(89)
Anonymous,
February 10, 2008 7:38 PM

Thank you for explaining

Now I understand the significance of each act of the betrothal/marriage. That makes it so much more meaningful compared to the gentile 'traditions' that have long since lost meaning and have become garish and self-centered, i.e. 'Bridezilla.'

(88)
David Shabot,
January 17, 2008 11:25 AM

Sephardic Wedding Custom - coin and perfume

Does anyone have the story behind the use of the coin and perfume at a sephardic wedding? I am putting together a program for the wedding and cannot find the answer online.

(87)
Nakiah,
December 26, 2007 6:04 PM

My new To-Do list!

Todah Rabah!! I have never been to a wedding/simcha before yet I myself am (G-d wiling) getting married in June. This site will help tremendously in our planning process. Any extra help or references are appreciated!!

-Shalit v'Nakiah

(86)
Davidah,
December 4, 2007 8:45 AM

Photography with respect and honor

My husband and I are wedding photographers and we are doing our first Jewish wedding. This site has been very helpful. In respect to photographing the memories of the whole day, are there any no no's we should be aware of? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

(85)
Carolyn,
November 26, 2007 5:14 PM

Educational

Now I know what to expect & Thank You.

(84)
Monica,
November 22, 2007 9:17 AM

awesome

thanx 4 this website.Great to know about Jewish wedding.

(83)
Sarai Thomas,
November 11, 2007 12:19 PM

Thanks

Thanks very much for all the info! I am a new Event Planner, and need all the info I can absorb. You have given me SO much to research! Thanks, again!

(82)
carol Brown,
October 22, 2007 8:19 AM

A great site

As a videographer I film lots of weddings, I am passionate about them, and am looking forward to filming my first Jewish wedding, the site has been a great help.

(81)
karen,
October 5, 2007 8:21 AM

this was beautifully written, it made me cry

my daughter is getting married on 23rd march 2008 and as the mother of the bride i will probably cry my eyes out and ruin all my make up!!!

(80)
Rebekah,
September 20, 2007 3:08 PM

Hey, thanx for updating my knowledge about Jewish weddings.Its a resourceful site

(79)
mono,
August 31, 2007 1:57 AM

I love jewish weddings

lovely site, brilliant info. well done.

peace out, mono

(78)
Anonymous,
August 2, 2007 5:12 AM

Life saver

thanks so much, our religion teacher is rubbish! taught us nothing and ur site saved me for my trials!! thanks a bunch

(77)
jodie,
July 9, 2007 2:40 PM

tarrrr bab!

THank you!!!! i so totally needed that for re , wikipedia is rubbish! level 7 here i come!!

(76)
Dara,
June 28, 2007 11:52 AM

Very helpful/Sephardi/Shctick

I found this very helpful in writing a wedding program. However if you would please write maybe even a WHOLE article on Sephardi customs it would be amazing. There are many differences, including the order. Sephardi chatan & kallah deserve to have as much information.

Shctick- (someone had a question on shtick)dancing w/fire, pre-made dance performances, flips,popular is baloons with confettii in them and the kallah is given a wand w/a tac to pop them. Remember, know your audience, do what THEY will like, not just what you feel like doing!

(75)
Anonymous,
May 28, 2007 6:55 PM

thanks for the insights from someone who's not been religiously involved but whose daughter, thank G-d is marrying a Jewish guy.

any traditional ideas, remarks that mother's relate to their daughters as the walk down the aisle begins? just curious if you've heard of anything...thx

(74)
jack,
April 19, 2007 10:11 AM

very good

thanks a lot i had to do a topic at school about jewish wedding traditions and was really worried because i knew nothing about them.

(73)
Bill Mathis,
March 25, 2007 11:42 PM

Thanks so much.....

This article was short but to the point and I found it quite helpful and information on several issues in anticiaption of my daughter's forthcoming marriage.

Thank you.

(72)
May Willcox,
March 10, 2007 9:45 AM

Very good, I am jewish, and I am to be married next month!!!!

(71)
Jade,
March 7, 2007 9:51 AM

thanks ver much. i have been looking at hindu weddings at school and it has given me a lot of help although some of it was different to what we've been told.

(70)
Anonymous,
March 4, 2007 7:04 AM

Great information...To the point. Thank you.

(69)
dwayne,
March 2, 2007 1:04 PM

helpful for mi hmk

thanks hepled me with my hmk alot i understood but this web site made it clear

(68)
Genny,
February 27, 2007 11:58 AM

Really Helpful

I have been studying Jewish weddings at school and was struggling until i found this site. Thankyou so much!!!

(67)
Jordan,
January 20, 2007 6:58 AM

Helpful for my homework

I was doing some R.S homeowkr and found this page very useful ! THANKS

(66)
luis,
December 3, 2006 9:33 PM

Helpful, fantastic to many cultures ONE SAVIOR

Thank you so much my friends, I"m writing an comparison essay about chinese & Jews wedding, this wed site was very helpful. Remember God is good He loves us, bless.

(65)
Anonymous,
October 12, 2006 2:57 PM

Very helpful

I was doin some research and i found this web site very useful because it was easy for me to understand since i wasnt part or even studied the Jewsih religion.

(64)
Anonymous,
August 17, 2006 12:00 AM

So Beautiful

Iam a Jew who will be married in 7 weeks. There are so many Jewish Customs and Traditions, its easy to get lost in all the information. Thank you for providing detailed information in a simplied way.

(63)
Deborah,
July 26, 2006 12:00 AM

Brought tears to my eyes

My boyfriend is Jewish and I am about to begin the conversion process to become a Jew. When I read this it brought tears to my eyes. It was so lovely and meaningful. Thank you so much.

(62)
Rita,
July 8, 2006 12:00 AM

Helpful

Thank you your website was very felpful.
I am marrying a Jewish Man, and I am not a Jew. But looking for procedures,and so on, how to plan a Jewish Wedding

(61)
lightning rasmussen,
June 30, 2006 12:00 AM

Wonderful!

I really enjoyed reading your website! I have never been to a Jewish wedding. Thank you for the insight! Shalom!

(60)
Paula,
May 29, 2006 12:00 AM

This article provided me with more information than I thought it would, I especially like the idea of printing it out for the guests VERY INFORMATIVE!!!

(59)
Rachael,
May 23, 2006 12:00 AM

this was REALLY HELPFUL!! i enjoyed learning about the jewish wedding.

thanks

(58)
Anonymous,
April 2, 2006 12:00 AM

This article was very informative. Thank you.

(57)
Talea Taylor,
March 23, 2006 12:00 AM

This was a great article. I will love to have a Jewish Wedding one day.

(56)
F. Teichtahl,
February 11, 2006 12:00 AM

Schtick

Could you please advise of some fun things that guests can do to entertain the bride and groom? We are already having the maypole, masks, partyhats and noisemakers (maracas etc). Thank you.

(55)
missi,
February 8, 2006 12:00 AM

helps a lot

i needed some information on jewish weddings for at school and your site was the best site because it explained everything so i could understand it. thank you.

(54)
Anonymous,
February 1, 2006 12:00 AM

the information is detailed and very informative

i really enjoyed reading this information. i am presenting a power point lecture on Wedding tradition in Israel, ceremony traditions, and wedding night/honeymoon traditions. thank you

(53)
Miena,
December 30, 2005 12:00 AM

this is a really good site. it goes i to the depth and symbolism of each tradition. it helped me out a lot. thanxx. =]

(52)
Nadav,
December 8, 2005 12:00 AM

Ashkenazic and Sefardic wedding customs

Shalom,

I'm a fan of the Aish site. I just pointed out, however, that not all Jews learning from your site are of Ashkenazic heritage. Perhaps you could make mention in your article on Jewish weddings that not all Jews do "badeken", or the breaking of the plate, walking around the groom seven times, or even yichud. These are all Ashkenazic customs. If, as a Sefardi, I didn't know about my own heritage, I too would be doing things from an Eastern European perspective. I think part of having a complete Jewish education is to also learn about customs and halacha as they relate to different communities. There's beauty in our diversity as Jews.

(51)
Jenny Jaques,
December 6, 2005 12:00 AM

Just a note 2 say thanx alot this website has been a gr8 help with my class work on a Jewish wedding

Thankyou very much we are doing a test and this website has helped me so much in revision THANKYOU

(50)
Anonymous,
November 13, 2005 12:00 AM

thanxx

hello this has helped me alot with my school project on jewish weddings!!! thank you!

(49)
Klammy5,
October 4, 2005 12:00 AM

cool site

This is a cool website it helped me a lot for GCSE

(48)
Anonymous,
September 23, 2005 12:00 AM

I've wanted to know what a traditional Jewish wedding was like. This was awesome information.

(47)
katja,
September 16, 2005 12:00 AM

Hello !
i am a swedish university student,who are working on a school project on juish wedding ceremony,,this site has helped me a lot :) thank you ..by reading this info on wedding ceremony i got enough info to get an A+ on my work ..thanks :)

(46)
Anonymous,
September 5, 2005 12:00 AM

Great Information

I am a wedding photographer and wanted to know about and respect all of the traditions. Your website was very helpful. Thank you!

(45)
haggy,
August 31, 2005 12:00 AM

hey dudes and dudettes, this site is awesome!!!! i learnt so much - i was a t home really bored so i thought id look up stuff on jewish weddings. u guys rock

(44)
matthew,
June 29, 2005 12:00 AM

cheers for all the info, there was a boring R.E. presentation at school and i needed this info for homework. Thanks a lot matt.

(43)
sammi,
May 8, 2005 12:00 AM

this is gr8

hey, thanz 4 all ur help, there was a big r.e presentation @ skool n i passed with flying colours thanx to the help of this site! thanx a million

(42)
i jacobson,
February 15, 2005 12:00 AM

my daughter is getting married in July and found your article most imformative to me, re the buildup and whole ceremony, thankyou

(41)
William Leveritt,
January 30, 2005 12:00 AM

Thanks!!!

Thanks i'm doing about jewish weddings in school and this site was amazing!!
I'm from leicester and i love cakes there nice.

(40)
person,
January 5, 2005 12:00 AM

Thanks

I am doing a project and this really helped! Thanks a lot!

(39)
Tyler,
January 5, 2005 12:00 AM

GREAT!!

This is a great web site it teaches you all you need to no and more. I will get an A on this project for sure.

(38)
Amanda,
December 6, 2004 12:00 AM

Jewish Wedding Rituals

This is a very good source of info...I'm doing a project on Jewish Weddings and this is what I need in order to complete it

(37)
Philip,
November 20, 2004 12:00 AM

wedding symbols

just what I hoped for--todah rabah

(36)
kaitlyn,
November 16, 2004 12:00 AM

Thanks, I'm doing a school project and you thaught me a lot!

GREAT!!!!!!!!

(35)
Luan,
September 29, 2004 12:00 AM

This was aswame

i didn't know u could chupa outside. Thanks a lot i learned a lot

(34)
Raquel,
September 7, 2004 12:00 AM

information with relief

My husband and I were married in courthouse without our parents consent, and we'd love to have a "real" wedding...this article was both helpful and entertaining

(33)
katarina,
August 20, 2004 12:00 AM

WAW. I am speachless! This sounds so special... I really wish i were born as jewsih!

(32)
patriona fukemea,
August 10, 2004 12:00 AM

u rok

thnx, i really thort ur website was amazing and it really helped for my research for school

(31)
Esther,
July 19, 2004 12:00 AM

Thank You

Thank you for explaining the ceremony in simple terms. I am not of Jewish descent but have a love for the Jewish culture and people and would one day love to have a traditional Jewish wedding.

(30)
Gayle Lane,
July 19, 2004 12:00 AM

Confused!

I was told that the groom goes to see the bride prior to the ceremony to LIFT her veil to ensure that she is the right woman! Not to veil her but make sure!

(29)
peter,
May 18, 2004 12:00 AM

i love your website it rocks my world

(28)
Anonymous,
April 21, 2004 12:00 AM

I think this article is very informative.

(27)
Shlomit Goren,
April 14, 2004 12:00 AM

Nice and concise

Straigth forward informatin and right to the point.
Thank you

(26)
Trenton Hiltbrand,
February 18, 2004 12:00 AM

I got all I needed on jewish weddings. I'm having one in half a year!!!!
(l...l)
(~.~)
(''')(''')
-----

(25)
Anonymous,
February 9, 2004 12:00 AM

thank you for info

This information has helped me with my story that involved the main characters, one of them Jewish, the other one no-religion, getting married. Thanks a bunch! :)

(24)
bobby hadyunger,
February 6, 2004 12:00 AM

very informative for school project

jewish marriage- very informative helps with project to teach class would reccomend to other teachers

great information, just what i needed to do an in-class presentation on marriage in the jewish faith. great site! keep up the great work!

(21)
Sue Wallace,
January 6, 2004 12:00 AM

got great info from your site. Needed it for a SS class im teaching on jewish weeding ceremonies

Thanks for informative reading. keep up the good work!

(20)
Chris Robbins,
December 12, 2003 12:00 AM

Thanks, you really helped me

I was looking for some information to help me write an essay for English 10.(High School - Grade 10) We had read the book "The Fiddler On The Roof" and we were told to write an essay on a Traditional Jewish Wedding, like in the book. This page gave me every detail I needed, To write my essay! Thank You Very Much For Makeing A Page On A Traditional Jewish Wedding. THANK YOU!!

(19)
marc,
November 17, 2003 12:00 AM

BRILLIANT

a very useful page everywhere i looked i found usless information for my project, untill i found this page and then with the exact info here my problem was solved.....sorted!

(18)
Lauren,
October 22, 2002 12:00 AM

My friend and i are directing the jewish wedding scene in a production and this site was perfect for us to use in helping us make our scene be as true to life as possible. thank you.

(17)
steve,
October 13, 2002 12:00 AM

very good info

i am doing a world religions project on jewish weddings and this site gave me everything i needed, thanks so much for taking the time to do this for us.

(16)
Anonymous,
June 9, 2002 12:00 AM

i have found this site extremely useful for doing my religious studies homework on Jewish Wedding Ceremonies. It was very easy to get to. the information on this site is clear and understandable.
Thankyou!

(15)
Becky,
March 7, 2002 12:00 AM

I found this site very useful while doing research for school. It had lots of great information on the topic, which I found hard to find elsewhere, so thank you very much!

(14)
Anonymous,
February 28, 2002 12:00 AM

I am in high school and am working on a term paper on Jewish wedding traditions. Your article supplied me with alot of useful information.I was relieved when I saw that it was so easy to get accsess to your web site.

(13)
Mitchell Rubenstein,
February 25, 2002 12:00 AM

I greatly appreciate your innitiation in creating this website.

Thank you very much! Unfortunately, you happen to have the only website that happens to have correct sources when it comes to this topic. This is conspicuously a reliable site that you put a good amount of effort into making. As a student in a Hebrew school, I greatly appretiate your effort in transmitting this information to the rest of the world. It is thanks to you that students like me can get good resources for projects!

(12)
Leonard Majachani,
February 23, 2002 12:00 AM

Your website is resourceful. Keep it up.

(11)
bob penny,
December 11, 2001 12:00 AM

thanks

thanks I had a hebrew school project to do. Lots of info.
THANKS :]

(10)
Anonymous,
December 7, 2001 12:00 AM

very good

i had a projct to do for school, and it is very descriptive, and it helped me out so much! i think you shgould have more pictures on it, coz it would brighten up the age more

(9)
,
September 1, 2001 12:00 AM

Great info

I am attending a Jewish wedding for the first time tomorrow. Your clear concise information has enlightened me. I thank you; This means I won't be completely out of it when all of this is taking place. Further, I now feel even more honoured to be in attendance on this very special occasion.

(8)
batya green,
August 13, 2001 12:00 AM

Thanks so much for this excellent info. I have given a copy to all my non-Jewish guests - and it has made my weddingso much more meaningful for them.

(7)
Jill,
August 8, 2001 12:00 AM

I can't wait

It has been my dream since I was a little girl to have a very traditional wedding even though I grew up conservative/reform. I wanted to start my new life with much more tradition and this article is very helpful. Mazel tov to all in need of this article *wink*.

(6)
Anonymous,
August 4, 2001 12:00 AM

good

enjoyed article, but it doesn't state what the bride's principal marital obligations are (besides the obvious ones!)

(5)
Mark Aarssen,
July 16, 2001 12:00 AM

I never knew the signifigance of the ceremony until now.

Beautiful,to understand the roles of man and wife in this ceremony.

(4)
Anonymous,
July 10, 2001 12:00 AM

Although insightful, what has been written primaly relates to Ashkenazic customs. Not Sephardic. Nor is this stated in the introduction.

Aish.com replies: You are absolutely correct. However, much of the customs are the same for Ashkenazic as well as Sephardic traditions.

(3)
Cynthia Colon,
July 3, 2001 12:00 AM

So Beautiful

So beautiful a Jewish Wedding. My daughter love them too. Thank you for all that beautiful information.

(2)
Haim Baruh,
July 2, 2001 12:00 AM

Wedding customs

Maybe your weding customs should indicate whether they are customs associated with all Jewry or with some branches. For example, there is no bedeken in a Sephardic wedding. The bride does not circle the Chatan, either. The chatan does NOT wear a kittel, Sephardim do not wear a kittel on Yom Kippur, either.

(1)
Tzvi Gluckin,
July 1, 2001 12:00 AM

This Shulman guy is a genius!

Wow! What a great Article. I am now not embarassed to go to a traditional wedding. Keep 'em coming. This guy should have a weekly feature.

I live in rural Montana where the Cholov Yisrael milk is difficult to obtain and very expensive. So I drink regular milk. What is your view on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Jewish law requires that there be rabbinic supervision during the milking process to ensure that the milk comes from a kosher animal. In the United States, many people rely on the Department of Agriculture's regulations and controls as sufficiently stringent to fulfill the rabbinic requirement for supervision.

Most of the major Kashrut organizations in the United States rely on this as well. You will therefore find many kosher products in America certified with a 'D' next to the kosher symbol. Such products – unless otherwise specified on the label – are not Cholov Yisrael and are assumed kosher based on the DOA's guarantee.

There are many, however, do not rely on this, and will eat only dairy products that are designated as Cholov Yisrael (literally, "Jewish milk"). This is particularly true in large Jewish communities, where Cholov Yisrael is widely available.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote that under limited conditions, such as an institution which consumes a lot of milk and Cholov Yisrael is generally unavailable or especially expensive, American milk is acceptable, as the government supervision is adequate to prevent non-kosher ingredients from being added.

It should be added that the above only applies to milk itself, which is marketed as pure cow's milk. All other dairy products, such as cheeses and butter, may contain non-kosher ingredients and always require kosher certification. In addition, Rabbi Feinstein's ruling applies only in the United States, where government regulations are considered reliable. In other parts of the world, including Europe, Cholov Yisrael is a requirement.

There are additional esoteric reasons for being stringent regarding Cholov Yisrael, and because of this it is generally advisable to consume only Cholov Yisroel dairy foods.

In 1889, 800 Jews arrived in Buenos Aires, marking the birth of the modern Jewish community in Argentina. These immigrants were fleeing poverty and pogroms in Russia, and moved to Argentina because of its open door policy of immigration. By 1920, more than 150,000 Jews were living in Argentina. Juan Peron's rise to power in 1946 was an ominous sign, as he was a Nazi sympathizer with fascist leanings. Peron halted Jewish immigration to Argentina, introduced mandatory Catholic religious instruction in public schools, and allowed Argentina to become a haven for fleeing Nazis. (In 1960, Israeli agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from a Buenos Aires suburb.) Today, Argentina has the largest Jewish community in Latin America with 250,000, though terror attacks have prompted many young people to emigrate. In 1992, the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 32 people. In 1994, the Jewish community headquarters in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 85 people. The perpetrators have never been apprehended.

Be aware of what situations and behaviors give you pleasure. When you feel excessively sad and cannot change your attitude, make a conscious effort to take some action that might alleviate your sadness.

If you anticipate feeling sad, prepare a list of things that might make you feel better. It could be talking to a specific enthusiastic individual, running, taking a walk in a quiet area, looking at pictures of family, listening to music, or reading inspiring words.

While our attitude is a major factor in sadness, lack of positive external situations and events play an important role in how we feel.

[If a criminal has been executed by hanging] his body may not remain suspended overnight ... because it is an insult to God (Deuteronomy 21:23).

Rashi explains that since man was created in the image of God, anything that disparages man is disparaging God as well.

Chilul Hashem, bringing disgrace to the Divine Name, is one of the greatest sins in the Torah. The opposite of chilul Hashem is kiddush Hashem, sanctifying the Divine Name. While this topic has several dimensions to it, there is a living kiddush Hashem which occurs when a Jew behaves in a manner that merits the respect and admiration of other people, who thereby respect the Torah of Israel.

What is chilul Hashem? One Talmudic author stated, "It is when I buy meat from the butcher and delay paying him" (Yoma 86a). To cause someone to say that a Torah scholar is anything less than scrupulous in meeting his obligations is to cause people to lose respect for the Torah.

Suppose someone offers us a business deal of questionable legality. Is the personal gain worth the possible dishonor that we bring not only upon ourselves, but on our nation? If our personal reputation is ours to handle in whatever way we please, shouldn't we handle the reputation of our nation and the God we represent with maximum care?

Jews have given so much, even their lives, for kiddush Hashem. Can we not forego a few dollars to avoid chilul Hashem?

Today I shall...

be scrupulous in all my transactions and relationships to avoid the possibility of bringing dishonor to my God and people.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...