It has been a rough and hectic summer, I tell you!! So when I got a call from my sister on Thursday requesting my presence lakeside in Maine, I was all too happy to oblige. I finished the bittersweet task of packing up my old studio on Friday, packed up the car and drove to Maine with my mom and Zee.

It was a 3+ hour drive from Massachusetts and the sunset before we hit the windy roads of rural Cumberland County, Maine and turned into Round Table Lodge. Walking into Hemlock Cabin reminded me of summer nights at camp as a kid. The smell of the air and the old wood walls was nostalgic to say the least. I was longing for a really good campfire with the scent of burning pine.

It was then I realized, I had no cell phone service and the wifi was all but non-existent. I was completely unplugged with my hosting about to expire and no way to contact anyone about it. Finally I realized my mom’s AT&T service was superb and I was able to conduct business as usual. So I sent what I needed to send and then I relaxed and enjoyed no sounds of notifications coming from my iPhone.

The next morning when Zee and I awoke as the sun was rising, we just threw on our shoes and walked down to the lake …we left our phones behind and spent the morning swinging on the beach front in a log swing.

Later we jumped on a boat and spent the day on the lake enjoying the water and the breeze and our family. The water has emotions of its own as it went from smooth to wild in a matter of time. Much like with our own, we carried on through its calmest and roughest moments and came out on top.

That night after we grilled and had dinner, we sat by that much longed for campfire, roasting s’mores and chatting it up with locals and other campers. We were away and unplugged under all the millions of stars that hide from us in the city but shone in all their glory in this peaceful space. We all wanted to stay way longer than we were able and what an amazing feat it was to watch my daughter enjoy the freedom and beauty of nature and forget to be engaged in online activities.

The gracious hosts, experiencing the beauty of the outdoors, and the relaxation factor of Round Table Lounge leaves me longing for summer to start again so I can spend another day there, peaceful, relaxed, and unplugged.

Perfectionism is a good thing, right? Like what could possibly be wrong with getting things 100% right 100% of the time, besides the fact that it is virtually impossible? I mean because it is, right? Virtually impossible and if you’re a perfectionist the way that I am a perfectionist you know that all it does is cause procrastination. As long as you haven’t done the task it still has the potential to be great!! Once you’re doing it, if it’s not up to par (which it almost never is for the professional perfectionist) then you consider the project failed. You can’t fail something you haven’t done yet and so perfectionism becomes the fear of failing.

Don’t allow perfectionism to become the catalyst for procrastination to the detriment of your business. JUST START.

In the book, The Now Habit by Neil Fiore, he states that “In extreme cases of perfectionism, there is no distinction between judgment of one’s work and one’s sense of value as a person.” Perfectionism can trick you into believing you are not good enough to complete a task. Don’t judge yourself by one task. Take each project step by step and as you finish those tasks and the feeling of accomplishment sets in, not only will you start to see how crazy it is to attribute your own value to one piece of work but you will also see all of the value in the work YOU do.

If comparison is the thief of joy, perfectionism is its partner in crime. We tend to look at someone we admire and then compare the work they have done to what we are doing. This makes us unable to see the beauty in our own journey and our own work. We see like 10% of everyone else’s life online, are you really gonna let that need to have your 100% seem as perfect as that 10% be the thing that holds you back?

Here are some steps to overcoming perfectionism:

Why are you doing what you do? Focus on THAT. Don’t look at how everyone else is doing it. Why are YOU doing on what you do? Many of us are afraid of what we can’t see, afraid of the dark and prefer that which we know. So don’t have dark places in your business. Shine light on every part of your business and know what your goals are and why you are trying to achieve them. This will help you to move forward and avoid fear.

Remember that perfection is subjective!! Lots of your favorite business owners see the mistakes and messes in their work but you don’t! The things you know or have, someone else may not and they look to you to give it to them in whatever form that may be. They see the perfect that you can’t see.

Don’t focus on what you are missing, focus on what you have! Look at what you have completed and use that as your catalyst to take the next step. If you could complete that you can take on the next step. Setting goals will really help to take it one step at a time and a perfect project is a finished project.

Find people who support your initiatives and see the value in what you do and use them as your cheer squad to keep going and moving forward.

I love writing inspirational posts. I feel like they really come from the heart and I get to share a little bit of myself with all of you. Sometimes there are words that stay with you and you reflect back on them in times of need. These are quotes are just a few of my very favorite that always remind me of my purpose and keep me moving forward.

“A ship in harbor is safe but that’s not what ships are built for.”

I put this quote first because it has been a top player in my life since my sophomore year of college. It always reminds me to take chances and not be afraid. It reminds me to walk in my purpose and to not fear that which is what I was built for. I can play it safe and be safe in that or I can go out and do all of the things that I was meant to do.

“It’s never too late to become who you might have been.”

I have had a lot of set backs in my life. Most of them are my own fault for being afraid and for not being aggressive in the who I wanted to become, for floating and not paddling, but this quote reminds me that it’s not too late. That as long as I have a new day, I have new opportunity to do all of the things I have dreamed of.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine.”

This bible verse is a favorite of mine. It is a comfort to me when I’m feeling lost and afraid. It tells me that there is no reason to be afraid because I have been redeemed.

“‘What if I fall?’ ‘…but oh my darling, what if you fly?'”

I know it’s probably an overdone quote but man, how I love it. I reminds me of an old classic tale full of hope and promise. Every time I think of failing, I whisper to myself “what if you fly?” and then I make sure to work hard enough to do just that!

“We’re all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?”

Of course one Doctor Who quote was obligatory. I am a hardcore Whovian and there is so much truth in this statement. Once we’re long gone, all that’s left us is the stories that are passed down. Let’s leave a legacy. Let’s hand down remnants of greatness!

What are some your most favorite inspirational quotes? How have they helped you to get through a tough time?

There is something effervescent about waking up in the city of love …the art, the history, the intrinsic beauty. No matter where I go in the world, my heart will be here in this beautiful city built for the prolific heart. The creator, the innovator, the beautiful minds. I have a deep love for history and art, it is a very extensive part of who I am and this city is filled with everything that makes my soul smile.

View from our balcony

We spent our days going from stop to stop like crazy people. There is so much to see and one trip just can’t encompass it all. We squeezed lots of culture and history into our short stay à Île-de-France. We saw Monsieur Eiffel’s metal marvel and Leonardo Da Vinci’s smiling beauty and the Sun King’s elaborate palace.

Looking out of the Louvre pyramid

Versaille

As insane Disney lovers, we even took le métro all the way to Marne-la-Vallée to visit the mouse and it was all wonderful and awe-inspiring but the most amazing times spent were the times spent walking and seeing, smelling and listening. Taking in this city with its wild mix of tourists, denizens, and citizens displaying a wide range of cultures and traditions. An evening walk down the Seine shows the true Parisian spirit, a joyfulness and appreciation of life. Every night is party, no one is dreading Monday, every one is enjoying the moment that they are in.

Disneyland Paris

We learned so many things on this trip but more importantly we learned new things about ourselves. We activated the deep wanderlust that lie dormant within us. We had our very first experience with a world outside of our own and it opened our spirits to an understanding that you can only have by exploring cultures outside of your own. Paris will forever be mon amoureuse, the place I steal away to in my head and heart.

If you haven’t noticed this is French week on the blog in commemoration of my beautiful trip to Paris a year ago! I started the week with the best methods to learn French and now I am combining my hometown with my hearttown and sharing my favorite French bakeries in Boston!

I had to start on my French bakery trek with a trip to Cafe Madeleine for, you guessed it, a croissant. I have heard rave reviews about the croissants at Cafe Madeleine and so I went in knowing exactly what I was going to get. I ended up getting it as a sandwich with ham and swiss and that croissant did not disappoint. It was perfectly flaky and buttery and the only thing that would’ve made it better was if it would’ve been hot. The cafe has a strict policy about using cameras inside so I snapped what I could of the inside with my camera phone. I love how there is a glass window where you can see the bakers making all the delicious pastries. If you find yourself grabbing a quick snack in the South End definitely stop into Cafe Madeleine to give it a try!

This small little shop that has a blend of French and Korean pastries. I was with my family when visiting the cafe and so I got to try quite a few things! It was lunch time so I had a pork rib sandwich which had good flavor. It was a little on the peppery side but still good.

Then we dove into the pastries. Many of the pastries are an amazing blend of the tastes of France and Korea. We tried classic macarons, Milky Bread, Chocolate Shell Bread, and Honey Toast. For the macarons we had coffee, chocolate, raspberry, and vanilla. They were all very delicious. Sometimes I don’t love macarons because they can be very sweet but these were not overly sweet at all! The chocolate had a good amount of milk chocolately filling and my favorite was the coffee! The Chocolate shell bread was filled with a DELICIOUS chocolate mousse. It was so smooth and lightly flavored and the bread is soft and sweet. Perfect combination. The Honey Toast was similar to a french toast but with a strong honey flavor to it instead of cinnamon. It was good but I would love to taste when it’s warm. I think that would take it over the top. The Milky Bread was by far my favorite. It almost tasted like a sweetened croissant. It’s huge and killed pretty much the whole thing by myself. I had it with a hot vanilla latte and it was just heaven! This was by far my favorite bakery for their variety and overall deliciousness!

Patisserie, I just love that word and I just loved the setting of this Newbury St cafe. This is a great little lunch spot as they have lots of deli options. I decided to stick with pastries and go traditionally French so I tried this pretty little lemon charlotte. If you love lemon cake this is the dessert for you! Perfect blend of sweet and tart.

Next time I go back I would definitely like to try the a savory breakfast pastry or something from the deli as this bakery has lots of very traditionally French treats! They also have a small outside sitting area that is perfect for a sunny day with a coffee and a pastry and really good book!

Finesse is located inside of the Boston Public Market and they specialize mainly in French macarons so of course I had to try some here as well. I also decided to get a cream puff. The cream puff was less like the French equivalent, a profiterole, and more like a classic Italian dessert topped with rich dark chocolate. The dough was not too sweet but the pastry cream inside was delicious. Not so much pastry cream but more of the classic Chantilly cream known to French desserts. It was perfect.

The macarons were a little more like an American version of a macaron than a classic french one in that they were very sweet and brightly colored. They were a little more like eating cake and the outer shell separated fro the macaron a little too easily. I tried four flavors. Watermelon which tasted more like a sweet cream that was decorated to look like watermelon, Chocolate which a yummy gooey dark chocolate, Rose which definitely tasted very floral and rose-like, and Blueberry Pie a la mode which was my favorite. It tasted like ice cream! I’m sure their flavors change all the time but if you are ever taking a stroll through the Boston Public Market, making sure to grab the Blueberry macaron for dessert!

Boston may be a big jump over the pond from beautiful Paris but we have some lovely classic (and not so classic) French bakeries that will having you dreaming of a walk down the Seine!

Have you been to Boston? Do you live here? What are your favorite bakeries to visit and what’s your favorite treat?

I have been learning French for like 100 years. I started learning French when I was 13 and studied it for like 6 years straight but when you’re that young sometimes you don’t take things as seriously as you should and I don’t think I realized just how much my love for the language would stay with me. So I stopped studying it after college and when you don’t submerge yourself in a language, you start to lose it. So last year I went to Paris and it was the most beautiful life-changing experience …and I never wished more that my French was better than it was. I got by. I can read it really pretty well but to speak it is still quite rough. I have the memory of a goldfish so vocabulary goes in one ear and out the other. Since returning I have vowed that I will speak this language fluently and emerge myself in it in every way I can.

Podcasts

Podcasts are awesome for learning French. Hearing a language is a really big part of being able to speak it and so hearing native speakers speak and having them teach non-school versions of French is super helpful! My favorite French podcasts are:

French Your Way Podcast: Learn French with Jessica – Jessica is so cute! She’s funny and informative and I love listening to her not only speak French but speak English in her accent. Jessica’s French lessons are really relatable and she’s really awesome at helping with all those little things we get stuck on as English speakers. She has a really informative website too.

Coffee Break French – I usually have no idea what’s going on in this podcast, lol, but its very helpful in hearing French and pulling out words and training your ear. They go through news stories and other stuff I can’t fully understand 🙂

Real Deal French – I like this podcast because it gives lessons at all different levels. They bring in real life scenarios to help you to relate and it’s awesome for the very beginner all the way to the more advanced French speaker.

Apps

Duolingo – Duolingo is set up like a series of games that you play and your basically being taught French and then tested on it. As you pass levels you move up in difficulty. I love this app because it really touches on all different parts of speech and French grammar which is really important to get down so you don’t sound crazy with wrong verb tenses and adjectives that don’t agree. They also have a whole bunch of languages so if French isn’t your thing, pick your fav!

Learn French in 24 Hours – This isn’t a very comprehensive app but I like to put it on just to hear vocabulary works repeated again and again to help drill them into my memory (because Mom brain!).

Rosetta Stone – You can’t talk apps and leave out the big guns. I don’t currently have this app activated on my phone but I do have the older downloadable version on my computer. I haven’t delved into it as deeply as I should because it is repetitive and I get distracted easily but now they have a new app that you can listen to on the go which is pretty awesome. It is mildly expensive though but the good thing is they now offer monthly subscriptions and you don’t have to pay all at once!

Meetups

This is actually new for me. I know the only way I’ll learn is to immerse myself in the language. When I was in college I was a communicative disorders minor for awhile so I took a year of ASL and had to go to many silent dinners. I learned SO MUCH just having to use the language constantly and not having the option to speak. The same applies to French so I recently joined a meetup group for people who get together for the purpose of using the language and learning it better. I haven’t been to my first meetup yet and I’m scared!! Lol. But I know it will be an amazing experience!

Have you learned a second (or third) language? Comment down below and tell me what some of your favorite techniques were to becoming multi-lingual!!

Since my teens, I have had a back and forth battle with my weight. I lose, I gain. I gain, I lose. It’s always been my story. I’m also short. Short stature, short torso, short arms and legs. I guess I’d be a liar if I wasn’t honest enough with you to say that there are days that it shakes my confidence a bit but now that I am in my 30s …like really in my 30s… I have really been taking a stance of learning to love and embrace so much about who I am as a person. I’ve discovered myself and work each day on self-exploration and deeper self-love and if I can start to enjoy the inside of me so much then the outside needs to be part of that package!

In really delving into this self love, I have also had to realize that a lot of my habits are unhealthy. Some that have led to the weight gain and some that have just led to issues with my health. So with 35 around the corner, I decided that it was time to take my health a lot more seriously. I have started working with a wonderful health coach/personal trainer, Vanessa from VFitBoston and she has been amazing helping me to really get my eating habits in track the last couple of weeks. EVERY SINGLE DAY is a struggle but it gets a little easier as time goes on. I am a hardcore foodie. Went to culinary school and everything. So limiting the foods I eat is very hard for me. Working with Vanessa has made it much easier for me to stay focused.

If I had to give some tips and tricks that have helped me to stay on track this is what I would say:

Positive self-talk

It sounds crazy but it really makes a difference. Praise your self for the good choices you have made instead of putting yourself down for the bad ones. Yes try to stick to good habits but don’t beat yourself up for little slip ups. I lost quite a bit of weight a few years back and so I beat myself up over falling off the wagon when I could be at my goal but instead of focusing on that I try to focus on the fact that I’m making changes now and I’m on the right track NOW

Know your weaknesses and ask for help

I finally came to the realization that weight loss and healthy eating was just not something I could do on my own or even with online help. I need an accountability partner. So it helped to have a coach that I could see in person and who is a real person to me who is on my side. As much as we may like to everything on our own, we can’t always and knowing when to seek out help makes you stronger in your endeavors

Track your Actions

Write down the things you’ve done, the food you ate, the workouts you’ve completed. Keep track of your accomplishments. Not only will it help keep you accountable, it will be a journal of successes for you to look back on when you are having a day when it just gets too hard or you fail like you’re not succeeding in the way you would like.

Are you on a mission to get healthy? What are some of your ways to stay on track?

Entrepreneurs are like a crapload of people in one. They are the talent, the financiers, the marketers. They have to be creative and business-minded and have their foot in every part of the business. Now imagine being every one of those people with the questions, thoughts, details and overall obsessive concerns of all those people constantly running through your head. That’s the life of an entrepreneur with ADHD.

I wasn’t diagnosed with my ADHD until adulthood. I was told by the doctor that I was very high-functioning and that made it easy for me to compensate for many years and never be diagnosed. The reason that it was becoming increasingly difficult as an adult was because I was taking on so much. Looking back on my childhood I can see how my ADHD affected me every single day but I never knew that what I was struggling with wasn’t “normal”. I know that ADHD can tend to be a little over-diagnosed and so it’s hard for people to accept it’s existence. It wasn’t until I was old enough to be really self-aware that I realized my process wasn’t what is considered the norm and had to come to terms with what I was dealing with.

My biggest issue is my inability to focus which makes it difficult to organize and plan. Having so many thoughts going through my head at once makes it so that I bounce around from thing to thing without completing the last task and because my brain overthinks everything, my anxiety (which was diagnosed as GAD) settles in and every reason why something won’t work has now become the new topic. So everything becomes, “ooh I need to that but…” It also makes me forget things quickly so if I don’t return a text message, an email, or a phone call immediately, days could go by before I ever think about it again and the anxiety of having to talk to people and give them the right information makes me procrastinate which is also an issue when it comes to networking and being social. Social anxiety and awkwardness sets in and it can be crippling. Decision making takes so long that sometimes things just don’t get done.

All of these things combined make being an entrepreneur that much harder BUT on the flip-side of it. Entrepreneurship fits my personality perfectly. My focus issues work both ways. There are days when I can hyper focus on a task and it helps me to really put my all into it. When I love something I learn everything there is to learn about it which really gives me confidence in what I am doing and helps me better much better at it. Thinking through every side of something helps it to be more perfect when it FINALLY is completed. I also think there is a sense of free-thinking which comes along with my ADHD which helps my creativity.

In order to be able to run multiple businesses and continue to be high-functioning, it has been necessary to incorporate techniques to help to keep me at least remotely organized.

LISTS

I cannot not make lists. To do list, list of places to visit, lists of people ideas, lists of people, lists of events, list of groceries lol. My lists are everything! They help me to make space in my head but getting things down and they help me to not forget. If there are items I need to bring for a photo shoot in the morning. I have to write ever item down. I will without question forget an item if I try to keep it in my memory.

EVERNOTE

Evernote is life. Evernote is an app that keeps track of… well, everything. This is where I organize my post ideas, and shoot ideas, and all of my lists. I have had Evernote for years but never took full advantage of it until recently and it is a lifesaver! Stay tuned for my whole post about my Evernote and the best ways that it helps me and can help you too (ADHD or not)!

A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING

This is something I’m working on trying to really stick with but having a set place for everything really helps my forgetfulness. For example, I put my car keys in the same exact place every time because if I don’t, they will easily get lost. My brain does not hold onto random information if I am not deliberate about it because there are just more important things to worry about so I have to be very conscious about small details.

CALENDAR

I write every event down on my calendar. Networking, sessions, birthday parties, etc. if it’s not on my calendar, it’s not happening. I won’t remember the date or time. There has to be 1-2 alerts set as well. A reminder a few days out so I know something is coming up and I can mentally prepare to have to be out and about and then one the same day to make sure I’m there timely (or close to it).

Those are four major things I do to try to combat my ADHD & GAD but there are so many more. One of my favorite books that has helped me and has a lot of useful tips is Your Life Can Be Better by Douglas A. Puryear. The author struggles with ADHD and talks about how it has affected his family and his work life. He gives lots of really great tips to get organized and stay focused.

Whether you have ADHD or not, what are some of the ways that help you to stay organized that may help someone that struggles to stay organized like myself?

I think about my life’s purpose pretty regularly and how it correlates to who I am as a person. The 10th anniversary of my 25th birthday is this month and if I’m being honest, I love being in my thirties. I have a better sense of self, I understand more of what is important to me and I take a lot less shit. Don’t get me wrong, I still take a lot of shit. I have a tendency to be very passive but I am getting better at it. I have really started to understand myself better, my flaws, my strengths, my creative ability. In this self discovery, I have found that I have a real problem with mediocrity. I have also found that I tend to dwell in mediocrity far too much.

Mediocrity means something totally different to every single person. We all thrive for different things, have different goals, and different definitions of winning. I have always been a free spirit. Very interested in seeing and learning all of the things the world has to offer. I’ve always believed God made a beautiful world and I have short time here to take in as much of it as possible and give as much back to it as possible …but right as I was entering my twenties, I stumbled. Fear found me and I started diminishing my abilities to not have to face fear head on. Fear of not being good enough, fear of being alone, fear of failure. I let that fear hold me back for way too long. It wasn’t until the end of 2016, almost 15 years later, that I stepped outside of it and saw the beauty in not being afraid. I took a beautiful trip to Paris, I left my toxic job, I cut off all of my hair. I started businesses that made me feel like me.

Yet still I feel stuck in mediocrity. You see the problem is I became so weighed down by all the things that built up while I was being afraid. The clear road I had at 20-something is not the clear road I have in my 30s. It’s all very overwhelming to dig back out from underneath. I watch women I love like Issa Rae and Yagazie Emezi and Zim Ugochukwu being great in their careers and their businesses. Creative entrepreneurs pushing forward and changing rules and views and I think, this is my tribe. These women are everything I feel in my heart I should be in my own right. So everyday I sit uncomfortable in my situation and come up with new ways to get out of it and move forward and travel upward. I’m so late and so behind and it’s tough to work at becoming what you should have always been but there is a tugging in my soul to tell me to take the next step and move outside of fear.

Sometimes it’s lonely AF.

But I cannot imagine living with this personal feeling of mediocrity, not exploring the depths to which my soul and heart drive me. It is such a weight on my being to wake up every morning and not be living who I am. I’m not entirely sure where this feeling is supposed to bring me in God’s purpose for me but I am 100% sure it is taking me somewhere …somewhere amazing. The Incredible Jessica James says, “I’m a unicorn.” and it’s how I feel in my heart like I’m supposed to be on a crazy magical adventure of getting everything the world has to offer and giving back everything I can.

Do you ever feel like there is something more you’re meant to do? What are some things that make you feel powerful and purposeful?

Recently I had the wonderful opportunity to take an intensive course with Heidi Hope of Heidi Hope Photography and besides all of the wonderful photography related information, I was given, I was also given a lot of wonderful advice. One bit of advice that was given was from a book by —- called —-. In the book, — speaks about the importance of your morning routine. Did you know that 95% of people fail in anything 0_0. Only 5% succeed and the people who are the most successful have some kind of morning routine. Well I refuse to fail. I tell myself every morning “5%” to keep me motivated. To help in this, I have adopted a morning routine of my own. There are some specific things that you should incorporate into your morning routine to help your day flow. So tomorrow morning, get up at least 30 minutes early and do the following:

Have a Healthy Breakfast

We have all heard it. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. This is the meal that gives us the nutrients and energy we need to get us through the day. It also helps us to focus. Nothing like working hungry all day and waiting until lunch. Who can put their all into work when their mind is on food? I can’t. I get hangry very easily and no one wants to deal with that beast.

Quiet Time

This is my favorite part of the routine. Grab your cup of coffee and read for a few minutes, take some time to meditate, or free write. Just get your mood ready for the day. No social media. Don’t overstimulate your brain. Visualize what your day is going to be like. Plan for positivity. If you’re a creative, this time will give your brain the chance to let go and make room for creativity.

Exercise

My life struggle!! But working out in the morning really sets a tone for your day. You will feel refreshed and accomplished and ready to take on what the day brings.

Make Your To Do List

This is the best time to fully plan out your day. Put the hardest things at the top of your list and work your way done to the easiest. I know I love nothing better then to see things on my to do list crossed or checked off. It’s really fulfilling and having a daily to do list is a great way to keep your day in order and productive.

Do you find that waking up early and getting a good start to your day makes a difference? What are some of your morning practices?

About Me

Bonjour Blackbird

This is the story of Nikki and Zee. The mommy-daughter team taking on the world one adventure-packed day at a time.
You've come to a place where dreams are born. Creativity is encouraged, adventures are plenty, and pretty awesome photos are mandatory!! :)