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Sean Penn recently filed a lawsuit against Director Lee Daniels for $10 million after Daniels likened Penn to the violent history of Terrence Howard. Penn insists that because he was never convicted of domestic abuse, Daniels is defaming him and causing him mental anguish. He may have never been convicted but Sean Penn has been accused of some very serious domestic violence himself. And come on, $10 million? I think he doth protest too much. Wonder if he’ll sue me for calling him these names.*

*I do not have any money. Please don’t sue me.

1. Giant Nosed Crabby Bitch Slapper

I have a big nose too, so I think I’m allowed to comment. And my comment is that his is giant. And he always seems like he is in a bad mood! A bad enough mood to have allegedly abused Madonna!

2. Dirty Hippy Woman Whacker

He’s a such a hippy. Not all hippies are dirty, but Sean Penn must bask in his own musk. Also, he has been accused of whacking Madonna while they were dating.

3. Wrinkled Face Ass Smasher

Sun damage? Smoking? I don’t know what is his main beef is with moisturizer, but he isn’t aging well. Also, he was probably abusive to Madonna!