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When it comes to car advertising and family dysfunction, nothing really changes

July 20, 2015

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Charlie Baxter is a salt-of-the-earth American -- the kind who doesn’t get upset when he spills his beer all over his knockwurst sandwich (whatever that means). He’s in the market for a new car, but he’s got a big problem: his bickering family, which seems to savor nothing more than the slow destruction of poor Charlie’s dreams of hunting and fishing in alcohol-sodden peace.

Anyway, back to the car shopping. His shrill wife, Velma, wants something small and cute; his idiot son, Junior, who will never be half the man his father is, needs something for picking up drugs or chicks or whatever it is miscreant kids are doing these days.

This isn’t just a run-of-the-mill dispute over automotive preferences -- the dilemma is literally tearing Charlie Baxter’s already dysfunctional home apart.

If you live in Beverly Hills, Coral Gables or Monmouth Township, then sure, a Veyron or a 599 is what you drive. In those places, people understand and appreciate a car like ...

What the Baxters need is the “WOW Wagon!” -- the 2016 Honda Pilot! 1972 International Harvester Scout II! It’s rugged for Dad, svelte for Mom (with that all-important upright driving position) and hip enough for that useless reprobate, Junior. International Harvester wouldn’t be the first to pitch one of its vehicles as the perfect compromise, but it wouldn’t be the last; more or less every crossover positions itself as the best of all possible worlds.

This promo is supposedly from 1972, but it’s so over the top that it almost comes off as a parody of the era’s campy promo materials. And that’s before you realize you could basically swap out the Scout II for any of today’s mighty people-haulers.

But that’s part of what we love about International Harvester, and if we had to choose between a groooovy Scout II or a modern, car-based jacked-up grocery-getter, you know exactly which one we’d pick.

Graham Kozak
- Graham Kozak drove a 1951 Packard 200 sedan in high school because he wanted something that would be easy to find in a parking lot. He thinks all the things they're doing with fuel injection and seatbelts these days are pretty nifty too.
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