These Nuns Just Want To Help God With Marketing

Well, God, don’t You get mad at me because You don’t like the Google Analytic numbers on communion.

Young demos are especially sensitive to ads, we need more seamless integration in church bulletins if we want to maintain revenue and avoid alienating prospectives.

It’s been 2000 years since we’ve updated our marketing material. Well, will You at least look at my draft re-branding strategy?

No, I know You’ve said You don’t want to do a sponsored feast day. I just thought- But we could- If You would- Fine. Forget it. I’m sorry I said anything.

Uhm. Sorry. Yes, also, not to harp on another old action item, but we should really address the self-competition issue we’ve been having since the Great Schism. Sorry, You’re right, not the time.

What do I think? Oh I dunno. Kinda putting me on the spot. Lots of good points on both sides. Both from them and You. But, maybe more them. I just, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try some A/B testing, Yanno?

Look the fiery bush was revolutionary marketing for its time, but the Almighty needs to stop resting on Their laurels. Yes, I am aware They’re omniscient, I didn’t say anything I wouldn’t say if they’d stop cutting me off in meetings.