Never having to listen to Dane Cook do stand-up is like eating your fav ice cream while getting a BJ from Angelina Jolie in zero gravity while your favorite baseball, basketball, and football teams win championships at the same time. Oh yeah, and Dane Cook is broke on the street begging for change during all this.

The thing I don't like about Dane Cook is he does way too much stupid arm waving and movements to try to cover up how terrible his jokes are. I don't have anything against people who like Dane Cook, but you couldn't pay me to watch his stand-up again. It's like watching a Jim Carrey movie except live so no one can tell him he isn't funny and reshoot the scene.

Dane Cook would be funnier if he were set on fire during each performance. Don't get me wrong, he's already flaming, but to actually be set on fire, watch him roll around and attempt to put himself out as his skin melts would be truely hilarious.