Sorry, I Got Hacked

I just put up some pix from the hottest Scandinavian babes in your neighborhood! http://lilweb.com/m7ujht

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From: dankeller26@yahoo.com

Hey guys,

Some of you might’ve seen a post from me that had something about “hot Scandinavian babes.” Wasn’t me, obviously. Looks like someone broke into my account (alas, I don’t have as much access to Scandinavian babes as I’d like, lol). Anyway, sorry about that!

Dan

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From: dankeller26@yahoo.com

I just put up some pix from the hottest Scandinavian babes in your neighborhood! Come on, give it a shot! http://lilweb.com/m7ujht

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From: dankeller26@yahoo.com

Sorry, everyone. I got hacked again, but that’s because I didn’t change my password (what a dum-dum). Anyway, I just did—twice just to be safe. You may now resume the Internet!

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From: dankeller26@yahoo.com

I just put up some pix from the hottest Scandinavian babes in your neighborhood. Dan won’t click on the link even though he hasn’t exactly taken the dating world by storm since the divorce. But you can click. Dan’s afraid to because Dan’s afraid of everything. His ex-wife realized that: http://lilweb.com/m7ujht

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From: dankeller26@yahoo.com

Um, I don’t know what happened here. As I said, I changed my password twice. Did this spam thing get my personal information through some data-harvesting algorithm or whatever? Have any of you accidentally sent out spam like this? If you have, let me know!

P.S. My ex-wife and I both realized things weren’t working. Not just her.

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From: dankeller26@yahoo.com

I just put up some pix from the hottest Scandinavian babes in your neighborhood, and I think you’d really enjoy them. Let’s face it, Dan has surrounded himself with people as timid as he is. If you’re reading this—particularly Pam, Josh, Marty, Doug, Jonathan, and Kate—you should click on my hot pix if for no other reason than to take a risk for once. None of you are in your twenties anymore, not by a long shot, so when’s it gonna happen if not now? (Josh, I realize you’re technically only twenty-nine, but there’s a reason everyone thinks you’re 40.) http://lilweb.com/m7ujht

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From: dankeller26@yahoo.com

Okay, I e-mailed the Help Center about this. I don’t want to take down my account, but I will if I have to. I can’t say this enough: ignore this spammer at all costs!!!

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From: dankeller26@yahoo.com

I just put up some pix from the hottest Scandinavian babes in your neighborhood, but you know that by now. None of you have acted on it, though. Why? What are you afraid of? A virus? Some sort of scam? That’s what you tell yourself you’re afraid of. But what you’re really afraid of is chaos, the one thing that could rejuvenate you, make you feel like life still has that potential you gave up on long ago. Do you want to end up like Dan? He’s nice enough. But plenty of people who walk around mostly dead are nice enough: http://lilweb.com/m7ujht

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From: dankeller26@yahoo.com

Hi, it’s Dan. The so-called Help Center didn’t know what was going on, and just said I should reset my password. But I’ve already done that literally fifteen times. I think we’re way past that now. If you get any messages or see any posts from me at all, it’s NOT THE REAL ME ! OVER AND OUT!!!

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From: dankeller26@yahoo.com

I just put up some pix from the hottest Scandinavian babes in your neighborhood, and the time has come for you to make your choice. Honestly, it doesn’t even matter if you like my hot pix, what neighborhood you’re in, or whether you’re even attracted to women in the first place. What matters is this: Are you riding with me or not? If you are, great. If not, that’s fine too. Just keep looking at photos of Dan’s embarrassing attempts at barbecue and flinching a little anytime you see someone on the street who’s living with the tiniest bit of courage. Look at my hot pix or don’t. But decide right now: http://lilweb.com/m7ujht

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From: dankeller26@yahoo.com

I just put up some pix from the hottest Scandinavian babes in your neighborhood. Sorry, force of habit. Anyway, thanks for clicking. Obviously, I’m just malware that has burrowed deep into your computer and replicated thousands of times in the seconds it took you to read this sentence.