Life’s Little Irritants – No 22

There can’t be anyone who lived through the 1980s in the UK who doesn’t remember Harry Enfield’s Loadsamoney character, the loathsome Cockney plasterer who was forever boasting about how much cash he could earn.

He made us laugh because he epitomised the crude greed of Thatcher’s Britain.

We thought it had gone away, what with the economy going belly up, people on zero hour contracts and GDP heading in the wrong direction, but apparently not – it seems that one of the modern day irritations is having a wallet that won’t close because there’s too much money in it.

I can’t say that this has ever been on my list of Life’s Little Irritants, but then I’m not a banker or a politician who are the only ones who ever climb out of the economic compost heap smelling of roses. Or are they?

The marketing company OnePoll carried out a survey of 2,000 people aged aged 18 to 65 and asked them what they thought were their ‘first world problems’ and one of them was ‘my wallet won’t close because there’s too much money in it’. And there was me thinking that chip and pin had made banknotes redundant.

They also gave them a list of ‘problems’ for them to score. Here are a few of them:

My personal trainer took the week off so I have to workout alone

My Brie is too hard

Earphones getting tangled up in your bag

Warm Pimms

Watch / jewellery causing unsightly tan lines

Remote control batteries running out

A disappointing air freshener

Stepping on something wet while wearing socks

Sitting on your designer sunglasses

Two Weetabix not fitting in a round bowl properly, resulting in one becoming soggy and the other dry

Getting popcorn in your teeth

Having to go to the Post Office to collect a parcel

The shop not stocking a coke bottle with your name on

Having the last edition of the iPhone

A neighbour using the same Laura Ashley wallpaper

Incredible eh? And I thought my list of Life’s Little Irritants was petty. About the only moan I could identify with was ‘supermarket checkout staff scanning faster than you can pack’ and even I haven’t had the nerve to whinge about it here.

You can see the full list at the Telegraph. What it demonstrates to me is that people being people will always find something to complain about whether they’re from the first, second, third or fourth world. It’s all a matter of perspective and if you want to know more about those worlds visit Mr Plague.

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

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It seems a very odd kind of poll to conduct in the first place. If I am ever accosted by a “OnePoll” polster I shall grab his/her clipboard and smack them round the head with it. Then they might list that sort of response as one of life’s “little irritants”.