This is… honestly very rough, just had to get the idea down and see what works. It's under the first tab, "War Talk," here.

Particular Questions (as of update):
1: Does the length work?
2: Character voice/narrative structure for Agent Burns — does it work?
3: Are the letters cheesy? Do I invoke emotion at all?
4: I was just thinking about it, and I really want to carry through a feeling of isolation (a little bit with Agent Burns, but mostly for SCP-XXXX-2 instances). Does it work?

Containment should be focused on tracking and observation of phenomenon

Be very clear on what you mean in the procedures. What phenomenon? Do you mean the SCP?

Cameras should be stationed in L██ A█████, with clear view of all known SCP-3XXX meeting sites.

Well this is obviously Los Angeles, but you shouldn't censor information in the Special Containment Procedures anyway. Think about it: In-universe, this doesn't make sense because if I'm supposed to learn how to contain something successfully, I need to have complete information. Finally, Los Angeles is a big place. Should we place them everywhere?

Any abandoned or forgotten technology, personal possessions, or corpses should be recovered for study.

I'd change 'corpses' to something like 'remains'.

Any town residents who become aware of the true nature of the true nature of SCP-3XXX, they should be administered Class B amnestics and can be returned to their residences.

''Any town residents exposed to or made aware of the nature of SCP-3XXX are to be administered Class-B amnestics and released.''

Remove the blackbars referring to locations; we know what's behind them and they don't serve a narrative purpose.

So you'll note that most of the line-by-line are issues with clinical tone. Luckily, that's not hard to correct.

Particular Questions:

1: Is the chart interesting? Believe it or not, I cut about half of it down from my first draft, and I need to know whether to cut further.

It is, but they actually don't tell us enough. Introduce us more to their physical description and culture (in subtle ways) so we can get a feel of them and their conflict better. I recommend going to the questions desk and ask for good examples of SCPs that explore a new culture.

2: How is my balance between understandable and mysterious?

It's good in a narrative sense. I want to know more. From a technical standpoint, a lot of detail has been left out that should be fairly obvious. Why isn't there a general description of the appearance of both instances in the description? That's important for recognition in-universe.

3: Does the order of things work?

Order thing? You mean the stages? Sure, if they actually conform to such a pattern consistently. In terms of the article itself, yes to that too.

4: Length, in general. This is a bit of a complicated concept, so I felt like I needed to write a lot. Still, this is a third of what my first draft was. Does this length work? Should I cut down further?

It actually ended rather abruptly. I recommend adding more narrative to it in terms of our response to the SCP. Give the reader a sense of immersion, of what happened when recovering and containing it. Give them a taste of what happened behind the procedures, if you will. Make them emotionally invested as they read and continue reading. Give your reader a reason to think about the bigger picture, what's going on behind the scenes.

The one thing is — this was not intended to be Los Angeles (that's Cali). I was working of a much smaller, real New Mexico town (Los Alamos). Still, I'll change the boxed out parts— I especially don't want people to think Los Angeles because that was very much not my intent.

But other than that, this makes a lot of sense. I'll work to add Foundation agency and to add more about the cultures. I'm quite excited for that last bit — the alternate universe world building is basically 90% of the reason I wanted to write this.

The one thing is — this was not intended to be Los Angeles (that's Cali). I was working of a much smaller, real New Mexico town (Los Alamos).

Ah. I'm not American so I'm not very familiar with areas named similarly. Anyway, if you're blackboxing out names only partially, it defeats the purpose somewhat.

But other than that, this makes a lot of sense. I'll work to add Foundation agency and to add more about the cultures. I'm quite excited for that last bit — the alternate universe world building is basically 90% of the reason I wanted to write this.

I'd focus on expanding on that then. It's written competently thus far, but it definitely would improve with more fleshing out on that part.

Hey, would you mind taking a look again? I addressed all the clinical issues you pointed out and rewrote the draft. It adds a little more Foundation action, but the narrative focuses mostly SCP-3XXX-2 instances. I think it might be a little cheesy at points, especially in the last letter, but it might just work.

I reduced the chart down a bit, since it seemed like it was kind of just an exposition dump, and spread the information out across the page. Most of the SCP-3XXX-1 cultural information I had ideas for didn't make it in, but I left a lot implications in the autopsy/description/etc.

E: I was just thinking about it, and I could have a captured humanoid instance and a revealing interview… it might add to the narrative, especially if it's from -1's point of view. But… should I? Would it be too much?

I added field notes from an agent. I think it might help with the sense of immersion, sense of Foundation agency, and sense of setting. However, this thing is getting pretty long now. I don't want to waste the reader's time.