Perry and the kids have come and gone. On his way home for lunch, he sent the three littlest ones to spend the day with Deanna and Tyler. The pastor’s wife and daughter came here to pick up the three middle ones, and he took the three oldest back to work with him. I’m alone again, in a big quiet house.

Before they left, they inflated the birth pool and hooked the hose to the water heater just in case I want to use it quickly and decide that the 15 minute drive is too long to wait. At this point, I don’t see that happening.

Contractions are going steady at 7-10 minutes unless I lie down or get distracted by company. They’re strong enough to make me look for something to lean on as I breathe through them, but I know I have a long way to go. I’m not sure I would even call this “active labor” yet, although real stuff is definitely happening. On a scale of 1-10 I want to say the pain is peaking at a 4 or 5, until I remember that the Labor scale is nothing like the I Stubbed My Toe scale. Then I realize I’d better keep the numbers conservative so that I don’t end up at 27 on a scale of 1-10. Let’s call it 3, or maybe just 2.5. Or if I really want to scare myself, it could be a 2.

Other things are beginning to happen too, but if you have no idea what that means you probably don’t need to know. Let’s just say that regardless of how long it takes, this definitely isn’t false labor. The baby may be taking his time, but he’s definitely on his way. Now I just have to decide whether to take a nap while I can even though it will prolong things, or stay up and moving and try to finish this asap. What if I stay up, and it still takes a long time? Then I’ll be wishing I had rested while I could. But if I rest now, I’ll be kicking myself at the end when I realize it all would have been over if I hadn’t been such a wuss early on. What to do, what to do?

I’ve been puttering most of the morning now, and contractions are holding steady. They’re staying pretty widely spaced – about 10-12 minutes if I’m sitting, and 6-10 minutes when I’m up and active – but gaining strength. My back is aching a little with each contraction, so I hope this guy isn’t posterior like Parker was.

I’m thinking I’ll lie down for a short nap after this update, unless the whole family shows up for lunch right as I hit the publish button. Not that I’ll be expected to get up and cook for them, but I will want to make an appearance and say hi so they all know I’m not dying just yet. 🙂

I don’t remember ever laboring in an empty house before, but it’s rather nice. Without an audience, I feel comfortable practicing a little vocalizing now to get ready for later when things are really intense. I’m also finding that while the exercise ball doesn’t help with discomfort, it does seem to make contractions feel more productive. I think I’ll like it until it’s time to get into the pool. Then there’s no comparison!

Since the last update, I:

unpacked one three boxes, putting things away as I went

started a load of laundry, and put away mine, hubby’s and the boys’ laundry from the load that was in the dryer

vacuumed my bedroom

voted for The Morning Center. Did you? The Morning Center uses mobile units to bring free prenatal care to poor women in underserved areas. Please vote daily until the end of October to help them win $50,000. Better yet: vote daily and share some of the cool hilarious memes Perry and other supporters have created on Facebook! You can find and share these on the Life in a Shoe facebook page.

Is it weird that I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think about labor? 95% of me can’t wait to have it done and over, with a warm little bundle in my arms. The other 5% keeps whispering, “I’m not ready to do this. Not yet.”

I seem to be having less contractions rather than more as the days and hours tick by, and I can’t remember if that means anything. Is it the calm before the storm, or a sign that I still have a while to wait? My next prenatal checkup is Monday. Will I make it to my appointment, or will I have my traditional weekend delivery? Or will I go all the way to next weekend?

I seem to be getting more and more absent-minded, or distracted, or whatever euphemistic description helps to excuse the string of dumb things I’ve done lately. I’m also getting tired of hearing how funny it is that my belly jiggles like Santa’s every time I laugh. It’s not funny anymore, so they’re seeing the jiggle less and less. No, I’m not getting irritable. Why do you ask?

For those who have inquired, I do plan to labor and deliver in the water again, if it works out. Our new house has an enclosed porch that should be perfect, providing a good level of privacy both from the neighbors and from the rest of our own house, with a bathroom very close. As you may remember, Parker arrived dramatically and a little unexpectedly while I was out of the water, but I don’t have any reason to expect a replay of that particular scene.

I also plan to post updates throughout labor, and hope Perry will continue to post updates when I’m past caring. I’m wondering: do you have any preference as to whether we publish a new post for each update, or simply edit and add to a single post throughout the labor? Speak now or forever hold your peace.

I have one last request. [Does it sound like I’m about to die when I say that?] Birth stories. I love them! Would you share links to your own or to other favorites? I’ll try to restrain myself from reading them until I’m in labor, because for some weird reason I find it comforting and distracting (in a good way) to read birth stories. But…can we skip the horror stories? If you had incoordinate contractions, a 4 hour pushing stage and third degree tears because your baby was born face-first with both arms over his head, or an emergency that ended in unplanned c-section or tragedy, during labor might not be the best time for me to read about it.

It’s Monday night, less than 48 hours until the baby’s official duedate. I’m not in labor – not to the best of my knowledge – but things are certainly picking up in there. Right in line with my personal pattern, Braxton Hicks contractions are slowly morphing into false/prodromal labor. They’re becoming more and more consistent, and progressively stronger. I’ve had nothing convincing yet, but every few hours I get a couple of contractions that are strong enough to make me sit up and take notice. Then they slip into the background again, noticeable but not imposing. If things happen the way they usually do, late one night I’ll realize that I can’t sleep and I was having strong, consistent contractions all evening. Then there will be a baby sometime in the morning hours, with a lot of pain in between.

OK, maybe I’m ready to think about labor now. Maybe.

Or at least this weekend. Perry and the older girls are hard at work painting and texturing our new home, and he is really hoping that this little guy will stay put until we move in later this week. My usual comeback when people admonish me to not overdo it in the final days of pregnancy is, “What’s the worst that will happen? I’ll go into labor?” Well, this week that is not what some of us want. I’m home with the little ones packing boxes, but I am on light duty. This is not just for my own good and comfort, but to maintain plausible deniability if I do go into labor and ruin the schedule. 😉

{OUCH. There’s my 2 in a row. The next few hours should be nothing, right?}

I have a related thought about finding out the gender of this baby, and would love to know if you agree. I have always gotten very anxious to go into labor about 2 weeks before it actually happens, but I don’t quite feel the same this time. I keep wondering if it could be because I’m not so eager to meet this guy.

Wait – that didn’t quite come out right.

I mean I feel like I have already met him. I know he’s a boy, and I’ve seen his sweet face already. Somehow that makes me feel like I know him already. I’m eager to hold him, but there is no huge surprise at the end of this labor, so I don’t quite feel the same consuming anticipation. I know who I’ve been patting and talking to for the last 4 months. I know the little man who has been kicking my ribs and punching my bladder. I’m just waiting to hold him, not to meet him.

Do you sometimes find out your baby’s gender ahead of time, and sometimes not? Do you feel any different as the time for labor gets close?

Belly pic:

It’s late and dark. I’ll add a pic on Tuesday morning – unless I wake up in labor during the night. Well, in that case I hope we’ll be posting pics by morning anyway…

Update:
The photo below was taken on the baby’s official duedate, October 17.
I call this, “The Great Pumpkin.”

Baby at 40 weeks:

He’s still getting bigger, and I so am I. Did you place your bet on just how big?

Thanks to everyone who shared their guess about this baby’s specs in the last update! For those who haven’t yet, I have a new piece of info to help you. My midwife changed her own guess at my checkup on Thursday. Just four days earlier she thought the baby was only about 5 lbs, but this time she chuckled and shook her head. “No, I feel some meat on him! I’d say he’s closer to 6 or 6 1/2 lbs.” That was about 1 1/2 weeks before his due date. If he’s a couple of days late, that would put him right in line with our other children at 7 – 8 1/2 lbs.

With just one week to D-Day, I’m obsessing about labor – and doing everything I can to think about anything but labor. Did you watch the new PBS show, Call the Midwife? The pilot episode is available for free streaming online until December, and the 2nd aired last night (Sunday) so it’s probably available now. I watched the first and enjoyed it so much that I want to save the next one to watch while I’m in labor.

Of course watching that show doesn’t help me not to think about labor. Neither does the fact that my sister-in-law who was due the week after me had her baby last weekend. And sitting on an exercise ball while I type this post? Not helping. I have labor on the brain, which makes perfect sense and fits my own theory of Two Week Obsession since I’ll probably be in labor some time in the next two weeks. Ugh. Labor. I like babies, and I like seeing my toes when I look down, but I don’t like pain.

I’m still having lots of false labor, especially every night from 2-6 AM – or maybe that’s just when I notice it most because I really have to use the bathroom but I am too lazy to get out of bed.

I’m not exactly dying to get it over with, the way most people tend to assume. In spite of my burgeoning belly, I’m feeling pretty good. Nothing hurts if I move carefully, and the heartburn isn’t bad if I drink plenty of milk. My family is taking good care of me, so I get all the rest I need right now. I feel awkward, but endlessly amazed at the miracle growing in my own body. I’m happy to wait and see when and where labor happens. But labor is always on my mind, and I can’t help but wonder about the when and where.

On a slightly different subject, I’m becoming convinced that there is a difference between girl and boy pregnancies. I almost pinpointed it when I was expecting my fourth, but she fooled me and broke my confidence. Now, with a little more experience under my belt and the chance to compare boys and girls in utero, I’m ready to say it: I think boy babies tend to be less wiggly, but stronger. They don’t necessarily move as much, but when they do it’s more likely to hurt. Girls roll and fidget; boys stretch, kick and punch.

The one daughter that I initially thought felt different, so different that I suspected she was a boy, has always been different from our other girls. She is built with a sturdier frame, and is naturally very strong and muscular. She has never been overweight, but builds muscle very easily and is stronger than her older sisters who exercise more than she does. Her Krav Maga instructor is amazed at the natural force of her kicks and punches.

And now that I think about it, Bethany is like that too. While she has a delicate personality, prone to emotional fragility, her physique is anything but fragile. While I was pregnant with her, I couldn’t help but suspect she was a boy. Of course I was wrong and afterwards I chalked it up to wishful thinking (since we finally had one boy, I thought it would be fun to have two in a row), but I think it may have more to do with her build than my own hopes. In spite of her slow gain right at the start – she was mildly tongue tied and couldn’t latch on properly – she quickly caught up and has been a strong and sturdy little flower ever since. She was strong in the womb, too, often hurting me when she kicked and stretched, just like our boys have been.

Maybe this is easier to apply in hindsight, but I think I would have had a good shot at guessing correctly for 9 of our 11 children. I wonder too if the Drano test would have proven accurate for more of our children. I wish I had learned about it sooner!

What do you think? Agree or disagree? Or have you noticed other differences that could help you make a good guess in the future?

Belly pic

Baby at 39 weeks:

What is there to say? Baby is fully developed and just puttin’ on the chub. Of course the longer he stays put, the less likely he is to suffer from jaundice. In our case, the longer he stays put the more likely he is to be the first baby born in our new house rather than the last baby born in our current house.

With just 2 weeks until the baby’s duedate, it’s time to place our bets! Since we cheated and peeked at our gifts this time, we already know that we’re having a boy. However, I don’t know where he will be born. We’re hoping to close on our new home in town this Friday (October 5) and move the following weekend (October 13). Although my last several babies have been a few days late, my first 3 were early, so we really don’t know what to expect. There’s also the factor of psychology which can strongly influence when labor begins: while I would think it would be easier and more practical to wait and have the baby in the new house, deep down I probably feel more comfortable with the idea of giving birth here where I have already had 3 children. The added privacy out here in the country is a big plus, too. Of course we won’t be putting the birth pool outside on the deck in town, but I’m really hoping the neighbors don’t hear any scary noises from inside our house.

If you want to join the fun, here’s what you should include in your guess:

Baby’s birthday. Remember, due date is October 17. Our babies have ranged from 9 days early to 10 days late.

Baby’s place of birth: country home or city home? We hope to move on the 13th, but it is entirely up in the air since we don’t even have a closing date yet. Yes, hospital is always a possibility, but I have a good track record so far. 🙂

Baby’s gender: Who wants to be a maverick and bet against the sonogram? You can see the photo here, although you might want to start reading at part 1. How clear does it look to you?

Baby’s weight to the nearest ounce. My other children have weighed in between 6 lbs. 12 oz. and 8 lbs. 9 oz. The midwife is guessing that this guy is on the small side right now, around 5 pounds. Of course he’ll continue to gain weight until he’s born.

Baby’s hair color. We have a pretty wide variety already. The kids are absolutely dying for a red-headed brother like my brother William and my little nephew Christian, both strikingly handsome guys.

Want to know my guess? Don’t be unduly influenced, because I don’t seem to have my sisters’ gifts for creepy-accurate dreams and premonitions. I’m really just guessing, but here’s what I say:

Mom’s guess: Boy. 7 lb. 2 oz., born October 19 at our new home in the city. Dark hair.

With just 3 weeks (?!?!?) until my duedate and so many contractions lately, labor is very much on my mind. This week Perry and I were talking about this baby’s fast-approaching arrival, and I found myself reviewing my last several deliveries. Working backward, they went something like this:

Parker was born posterior. It was not a bad labor, but the end was very intense and a posterior presentation requires the mother to dilate much more than a normal face down presentation.

At the moment I was pushing Bethany out, the midwife who delivered her insisted that I needed to be flipped around from an upright squatting position to hands and knees, or vice versa. While the baby’s head was hanging out. Not fun. I remember being very angry at the time, and I still have no idea why it was necessary.

Perry Boy has an enormous head. The kid looked like Charlie Brown right from day 1. I don’t remember how big his noggin was at birth, but I do remember that for the first year of his life he was entirely off the charts. According to the standard growth charts, out of 100 baby boys, his head was bigger than 105. Ouch.

Rachael was a nuchal presentation, born with her arm over her head. When the midwife measured her head, I objected. “Oh, no! Put her arm up, just like it was. I want full credit!” She thought I was joking, but I wasn’t.

Sarah was born silent. Not a difficult labor, but no happy hormones at the end to create that warm fuzzy feeling of forgetfulness.

All of my recent labors have had some sort of extenuating circumstances. And that brings us all the way back to Becca, #6. I’ve been waiting for another labor and delivery like hers. I’ve been waiting a long, long time. I’m facing down my 12th labor and delivery now, and I’m hoping and praying that God will be pleased to give me a simple, straightforward, not-very-intensely-painful labor and delivery this time around. I want to say that I deserve an easy one every now and then, but I know that’s not true. None of us deserves anything good. But our Heavenly Father likes to give us good gifts nonetheless, and I’d be very thankful to receive the gift of an easy labor if He was pleased to wrap one up for me.

In other news, I’m pretty sure I’ve started nesting this week. It could have something to do with the fact that we hope to move in a few weeks, but it could also have a lot to do with the fact that only 3 weeks lie between me and this baby’s duedate. In the last few days I have disassembled and completely cleaned the freezer; cleaned, organized and inventoried the pantry; moved one child’s clothes from my bedroom and closet into the little girls’ room; thinned, organized and rearranged the clothes of the 3 youngest children which are still kept in my bedroom and closet; done dishes and laundry alone more times than in the past 6 months; dug out the car seat and baby bed (ok, I had the kids do it); cleaned under all the sofa cushions and vacuumed said cushions before replacing them; cleaned under the sofa; created and instituted a new chore list & weekly menu…I’m sure there’s more. I’m beginning to think that the last month of pregnancy is the perfect time to prepare for a move!

Belly pic:

Baby at 37 weeks:

Typically, baby now measures 19.5 inches (50 cm) from the head to the heel. [I had one that measured 23.75.” What was your longest?]

I read something amazing last week in a book about unborn babies, In the Womb: throughout the pregnancy, a baby’s heart basically functions as a two-chambered heart, largely bypassing the pulmonary system. There is a hole between the left and right atria that allows the blood to skip the lungs. At the baby’s first breath a valve snaps shuts, instantly converting the heart to full four-chambered operation. Over the next 6-8 weeks fibers grow and seal the valve in place, making the change permanent.

Incredible, no? Would you have thought to design a process like that? I didn’t think so.

Your turn:

How are you and your little one this week? What’s new? Do you have any amazing facts to share about birth or fetal development?

Can you believe it? I can’t. Just 4 weeks left until this little guy is due to make his appearance. The thought is exciting and terrifying at the same time. I’m looking forward to meeting and holding him, and I’m looking forward to my back not hurting – but I’m not ready to think about labor just yet. Almost, but not quite yet. It still sounds more like pain than relief when I let myself imagine what it will be like, or remember how it has been in the past.

I’m hopeful that it will be somewhat less dramatic than the last time. A nice, straightforward LOA presentation would be nice, with an average sized head and no baby arms raised over the head, and the midwife present and accounted for. I’ll admit I’m a little nervous by the recent accounts I’ve seen of babies born face first (did you know those moms had to dilate to 13.5 cm. instead of 10???) I don’t want a notch like that in my birth belt.

Of course I don’t get to choose how it all goes and I’ll be thankful to hold my baby on the outside when it’s all said and done, no matter how it goes. But can you blame me for hoping?

In the meantime, false labor has started in earnest. I know the proper name is Braxton Hicks, but these contractions are a step up from the barely noticeable variety that I’ve been having for 3 or 4 months. These are enough to make me wait if I was just about to stand up, or to make me slow down considerably if I was walking. Like Braxton Hicks, they come nearly around the clock. They are enough to make me breathe long slow breaths, though I don’t really need to. It’s just a reflex. I hope my body is doing a little prep work and I can go into labor with a headstart, like those ladies who are dilated to 5 cm. without knowing, but I doubt it. They are enough to remind me that the real thing will be here soon, and enough to make me almost look forward to it.

And now that I am almost looking forward to labor, it make me wonder if there’s any chance I’ll go early. I don’t think so, since I never have delivered more than a couple of days early. But I wonder because I do tend to deliver about 2 weeks after I get that “baby will be here any time” feeling, and labor is very much on my mind already. Does that count? I seem to recall that I spend a good deal of time second-guessing myself before I really start counting, so the obvious answer is no. I’m not in the 2 week window yet, and I already knew that. But will I know when it starts, or will it only be obvious in retrospect?

Have you noticed any patterns in yourself or others that helps you predict when a baby will arrive?

Belly pics:

Just for fun, I had PerryBoy take this morning’s belly pic in the dress I wore to Deanna’s wedding. It’s actually not quite as red as it looks in this pic – it was a little more maroon.

I know some of you have been very kind in recent weeks and told me I don’t look very big, but just the other day a grocery checker asked me how far along I was. “Eight months,” I answered. Her eyes widened, and she sounded serious: “You look a lot closer, like you could go anytime. That baby is pretty low.”

Baby at 36 weeks:

Baby continues to gain about 1/2 lb per week.

Kidneys and liver are now processing waste products; only lungs need to mature now.

Last Saturday was our oldest daughter’s wedding, the last big planned event before this baby’s arrival. Planning a wedding was a fun and wonderful way to pass the time, and the last 6 weeks have flown by! The next 5 weeks will probably seem much longer – unless they are consumed by househunting. Although the house that captivated us both at first sight slipped through our fingers while we hesitated, we are still very excited about the possibility of (gasp!) leaving the country for city life and a 10 minute commute.

We’re also planning to fill the next month with smaller events – I have a Groupon for miniature golf for the whole family, and our zoo pass expires soon. Perry is taking a week of vacation right now, so I’m sure this week will fly by, leaving us with a countdown of less than a month.

I wrote last week’s pregnancy update a few days in advance, so there was no mention of my 4 days of bedrest due to sacroiliac joint dysfunction. After a month of good behavior, I woke up one day with my lower back feeling stiff and painful. A visit to the chiropractor fixed the problem, but by the time I reached home just 30 minutes later I was broken again – and it was Friday evening on Labor Day weekend.

By Saturday morning, it was exponentially worse.

I spent the entire weekend (including Monday) hobbling slowly and painfully from my bed to the bathroom and back again, unable to stand or even sit upright for more than a few minutes without a great deal of pain. The one time I tried to join the family at the table for dinner, I had to crawl back to my bedroom. Crutches didn’t help, and Perry’s offer to carry me sounded far more painful. It was humbling, to say the least.

I could have called the chiropractor’s emergency number – his personal cell – and Perry encouraged me to do it, but I just couldn’t bring myself to make the call. In my muddled mind it didn’t feel like an emergency since I wasn’t in pain when I lay still on my bed. Besides, the last fix hadn’t lasted long enough to get me home. Why spend the time, gas, and pay an extra holiday charge for a repeat?

But by Tuesday, I was ready to give him another shot. This problem just wasn’t going away on its own, and I knew it was an easy fix. The trick was getting the fix to last.

After consulting my midwife, Perry and I decided that I should visit a massage therapist first to loosen the tortured muscles and ligaments surrounding my joint. Then we would follow immediately with a chiropractic adjustment. The hope was that the relaxed muscles and ligaments would allow the joint to remain in its correct position instead of pulling it back out of alignment.

Praise God, it worked. After the 2 appointments I was able to walk normally, although I was still a little stiff and sore. On the recommendation of both the massage therapist and the chiropractor I ordered an SI belt from Amazon with next day delivery (thank you, Amazon Prime, for $3.99 next day service). My biggest, most obvious hope and prayer was to stay well through Deanna’s wedding on the upcoming weekend, and with a follow-up visit to the chiropractor on Thursday I finally felt normal again.

God granted our prayers, and now that the weekend is past I am still feeling fully functional, though a little fragile. I wear my belt when I have to be on my feet a lot, and my back aches if I’m upright for hours on end. Of course that’s my signal that it’s time to lie down for a bit. And while I lie down, I can remember what a blessing it is to be on my feet at all!

Remember when I said I could scare myself by looking at the countdown on my phone? 42 days!!! Actually it’s more like that scene in The Lion King when the hyenas get tingly at the sound of Mufasa’s name. “Mufasa!” “Ooh, say it again.” “42 days!” I’m excited, anxious, apprehensive and also just a tiny bit sad at the thought this pregnancy will end soon. I know we could very well have several more children, but I also know that this season won’t last forever and every pregnancy could be my last. I certainly don’t fear or dread the end of my baby-bearing days, but I want to savor this miracle just in case it doesn’t happen again for me.

On a lighter note, my sister-in-law is expecting her 3rd boy just one week after our guy is due, and we compared our records last week. Her first 2 were born a week early, and my last several have been a little late, so nobody has a clue who will deliver first. Her last baby was born within 15 minutes of my sister’s little boy, so we decided it would be fun to do that this time, too. Friday will work well for Catherine and her husband, and I nearly always go into labor on Thursday with a baby arriving late Thursday or early Friday, so we both agreed to give birth on Friday, October 19th. We’ll let you know how our plan works out. 😉

Belly pic:

I wrote this post several days ahead of time and planned to insert a new photo here before the post went live. If you’re reading this, then I forgot. Soo-prise, soo-prise, soo-prise!

Baby at 34 weeks:

Baby now is approximately 18 inches long and weighs about 5.25 pounds.