Rambles about stuff I like.

Monday Morning Game Of Thrones Roundup. Spoilers galore!

Ding dong the King is dead! Which ol’ king? Fucking King Joffrey, that’s who!

With bonus Cersei cleavage

Well, I thought for sure it would take all season to kill Joffrey, but I guessed wrong. Ep 2, time to kill him off.

Oh man, ep. 2 was so good. Both eps 1 & 2 could’ve been mashed together for a special 2 hour premiere. But overall, these first two eps were really good. Serve as a reminder as to who everyone is and where everyone’s going.

So what is going on? Well, at the wall, Jon Snow & the Night’s Watch are preparing for a huge raid from the wildlings. Master Aemon has also dropped some delicious foreshadowing about how he, “… grew up in King’s Landing.” Also Ygritte is still totally in love with “Jewn Sneeew”, but there’s some sort of cannibal faction running around in the North? Whatevs.

Roose Bolton has returned home to find the cowering figure of Theon Greyjoy. We learn that Bolton needs to capture Moat Cailin in order to secure his position in the North. Moat Cailin is currently being held by the Greyjoy’s, and so Bolton was going to ransom Theon for ownership of the town. (Not really sure whether Moat Cailin is a town or a strategic position.) Anyhoo, Bolton’s bastard is going to take 100 fighting men and Theon to Moat Cailin to see if they can take it by force. (The opening scene of Ep 2. certainly tells us that Bolton’s bastard is a real sadistic bastard.)

Arya and the Hound are travelling to the Eyrie. They get into a fight and Arya kills one of the men on her ‘evening list of names.’ She also gets a pony.

What else… Bran (who looks to be about 25 now) and Hodor and the marsh kids found a certain brand of Heartwood (or whatever the fancy tree in the God’s wood is called) and Bran saw the 3-eyed crow and is now going to travel North. Also we get to see Bran becoming more and more warg-like.

Danerys is still in Westeros, walking the road of slaves and her dragons are starting to get too big to control. Also, some guy with a fancy flourish name is constantly hitting on Danerys, and ol’ Mormont looks to be stuck in the friend zone forever. Not sure what her next move is – I’ve only read up to a quarter of the way through book 4, and all the stuff with Danerys happens in book 5, apparently.

Who else – ah yes, ol’ Stannis on his gloomy rock in the West is looking gloomy. He sacrficed some of his subjects to the Lord of Light (which I think is a Hawkwind song) and the Onion Knight doesn’t look to happy about it. Melisandre is skulking around, very lightly pulling the strings of everyone.

And finally, the Lion’s Wedding. Sansa looks to have been snagged away by Sir. Dontos, and Tyrion stands accused of Joffrey’s murder. Although, one enterprising fellow on reddit pointed out that it reeeeeally looks like Gramma Tyrell poisoned Joffrey.

Gramma Tyrell

She appears to be as conniving as Tywin Lannister. She probably has malice up her sleeve.

And oh yeah, Oberon Martell is mincing around looking to murder any Lannisters he can. Oberon is awesome.