Popular & Immature

April 13, 2004

The Internet is a great way to evaluate one's popularity. A little over half my life ago when I was in high school there were ways to judge, such as who said "hi" to you in the hallways, who you sat with in the cafeteria, etc. They were all manners of judging one's relative worth in relation to others while bolstering or lowering theirs in the process. As one of the "artsy" popular kids Snobby considered himself above such mundane concerns, but you can bet that I was acutely aware of it at all times and guided my actions accordingly. I'm not Snobby for no reason (although despite the persona I'm creating here, I also liked people for how they talked and what they talked about, which meant that some snobbier then I were merely tolerated and I also had friends outside the big cliques too).

That was a fun stroll through memory lane for me. I won't bore you with anecdotes, but suffice it to say that I remember liking high school much more than I actually did like it. This is why I become so frustrated when adults who should really know better act like children who were educated at caveman finishing school.

But suffice it to say that those were very unsophisticated methods of judging relative popularity in comparison to what all the gadgetry on the World Wide Web offers us. The most obvious form of popularity judgment is Google. I googled "snobby'n'unemployed" and found, not too surprisingly, that I am the first entry listed. I was also provided with a list of all the other sites that link to me. This is important for me to know since I'm the new kid in this school. A few blog search engines link to me, this one (it offers a section for readers reviews and I was very relieved that no one has reviewed it), this one, this one, and this one.

There are some other blog engines and personal blogs I submitted to that haven't linked to me. This shows that I'm still the kid who rushes up the popular kids wanting to know like what they're doing, what's going on, and I was like thinking of having a party but my parent's are such assholes were all like no, y'know? The popular blogs just rolls their eyes and apply their make-up. It's lonely being the new kid in school.

Next I googled "snobby" and was amazed to find that of all that snobs in the net, I am second best! People will even see me before they look of the definition of "snobby" in a dictionary. I'm like oh my gawd!

Now, Google judges its links by how many sites link to you, how many link to them, how many link to those etc. This means that it's all about who likes you and who likes them, and who likes them, and them, end them, and so forth. The similarity to high school sends me spinning in a desire to listen to New Wave and dye parts of my hair shocking colours.

But the real test of popularity is the online dating service. I'm on two of them and I can tell you that there is little that reduces one to a miniscule inhuman thumbnail than these things. Pages and pages of objectification and superficiality. However (BIG however), Snobby does not mind in the least if he's objectified, as long as he has fun in the process. One of the sites (the one that leans a little bit more towards the...um...sensual side of gay male encounters) informs you how many times your profile has been viewed; I have to say that for someone who didn't put up a profile until very recently, my "viewings to message received" ratio is pretty good. There's gold, or somethingorother, in them thar hills! Oui!

It's fun to turn one's brain off occasionally – and this is definitely a brainless day – but you have to remember when to turn it back on again. Perhaps tomorrow I'll be deep.