Lindsey Ferris

This is a public blog where Lindsey's family, friends, and acquaintences can share stories, photos, and memories with each other. Pictures are posted with only positive intentions, but if you would like us to remove a picture, please let us know and we will take it off.

A Few More Pictures

Monday, February 20, 2006

A life that inspired

This is a poem I used as speech material in one of my classes back in high school. Lindsey helped me prepare for the assignment by letting me practice reading it in front of her. For the longest time I couldn't remember the name of it or who it was by. I had bits and pieces in my memory but couldn't come up with the major concept so it was difficult to find. As I was reading Nick's entry something clicked and I was able remember enough of it to find it again (thank you Google and my Library Science training). As I read through it again I realized just how much it reminds me of Lindsey. Not just because of the help she gave me with my speech but because it seems to capture her spirit and speak to her determination and drive in life. It recognizes how important living in the moment is and as Nick stated, this was something Lindsey valued. And it speaks of those men and women, like Lindseywho live lives of caring and value and who inspire those they leave behind to be the very best they can be. I thought I would share it with all of you.

Psalm of Life-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Tell me not, in mournful numbers, Life is but an empty dream! -- For the soul is dead that slumbers, And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest! And the grave is not its goal; Dust thou art, to dust returnest, Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow, Is our destined end or way; But to act, that each to-morrow Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting, And our hearts, though stout and brave, Still, like muffled drums, are beating Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle, In the bivouac of Life, Be not like dumb, driven cattle! Be a hero in the strife!

Lindsey

Our family knew Lindsey way back when-she was the soccer team coached by myhusband. We'll always remember her for her wonderful "flip" throw ins. Shealways had a smile on her face and a kind word for everyone. Our deepestsympathy and prayers to her family and friends. Love, The Stosaks

Story & some photos

Lindsey wore her poofy white coat the night we met last November. Over drinks at Cafe Walderdorff in Trier, we talked about religion, college, sports, foreign languages, and travel. I had smart-aleck comments for every topic, and she asked if was ever serious. I responded, straight-faced but sarcastically, "What do you think happens when we die?" and Lindsey just laughed in that unique way that would come to make me smile every time I heard it. Her response makes me certain she is in a better place, and that she is happy.

She brought Chinese takeout to my empty apartment the day I moved in. We ate yellow curry & veggies while sitting on the bare hardwood floor, asking each other inane questions I wish I could remember now. A friend of a friend, Lindsey was the first new acquaintance I had at Spangdahlem, and I feel blessed by the time and experiences we shared.

She called me out of the blue on a gorgeous day at the end of the summer. Winding roads traced the curves of the Mosel River, half-timbered houses to the left, shimmering water to our right, vibrant green vineyards climbing the river valley walls all around; as we parked her Audi, the white tents of the Mehring Weinfest. Lindsey, Tony and I sat at a rickety picnic table by the water's edge, enjoying the Spätlese, joking about work and music while squinting at boats motoring by into the sunlight. Later that evening in Bernkastel, I introduced her to Reese and the gang. Lindsey quickly became, and remains in my mind, the only true "honorary member" of the Wittlich Mafia, our tight-knit cohort of dining, drinking, traveling, laughing friends. It will never be the same.

On Halloween, our friend Jamin, decked out in an Elvis wig and big gold sunglasses, decided to play hide & seek without telling anybody. Lindsey, dressed appropriately as a giant pair of handcuffs, hunted him down in the basement. Nobody told the story as well as Lindsey, complete with pantomimed reenactment, her eyes and voice animated and excited. "So Jamin is trying to sneak away around the garage, even after the lights come on," she says while shuffling along an imaginary wall, eyes darting back and forth. "And I said 'Jamin, we can see you'!"

Not one to let her mark get away, Lindsey pursued, crawling through bushes and eventually tackling him. The details of how he convinced her to let him up are still disputed, but as she said, "Of course I believed him, it's Jamin!" She mimicked running in slow motion how Jamin "just took off" into the fields. Thus ends the story of the time she chased Elvis around haybales in a tiny German town under the moonlight on Halloween, and Jamin can forever tell about the time he escaped capture by a federal agent.

A few weeks later over Columbus Day weekend, Reese, her boyfriend Tom, Lindsey, Jamin & I flew to Nice, France, ostensibly to run the Monaco 10K in Monte Carlo. Lindsey made the arrangements and translated everywhere we went (it always puzzled me that she couldn't recall movie quotes but could remember an entirely separate language). Our plan from the outset was to run a mile & then break for a beer and wait for the others to finish. After a day of sunshine and walking the coast, followed by two days of nonstop rain, art museums and waiting in vain for Lindsey's missing luggage to arrive, we decided to skip the run altogether and enjoy our Saturday night out in Monaco.

After a €300 dinner at the Monte Carlo casino, Lindsey, Jamin and I watched old men gambling our annual salary at the €1000 Blackjack table. We toasted the evening with the local beer (mediocre at best compared to our usual Hefeweizen), and I remember thinking, "this will be one of the good memories." After winning €5 for her brother and immediately losing it again, we left the casino, wandering the boardwalk to a cheesy Euro disco with a sprawling balcony overlooking the Mediterranean, the thunderstorms that had plagued us all weekend receding into the distance. We clinked our glasses and were happy we had decided to stay out.

Lindsey was a beautiful person who devoted her life to helping others. I feel honored to have known her, and to have had the opportunity, albeit under unfortunate circumstances, to meet her loving family. It was easy to see where she got her strength, confidence, character and compassion. I knew Lindsey in a narrow sense when viewed in the context of the rest of her life, but I am confident in echoing the glowing words of her longtime friends and colleagues who spoke at her memorial when I say that she made me want to be a better person. She was a terrific friend who kicked me into shape on several occasions, brought energy wherever she went, and while she will be deeply missed, I thank her and treasure the memories she helped me create. Thank you for sharing her.

My deepest sympathies for your loss, and hope for you to find peace in time ~

Friday, February 17, 2006

It is difficult to pinpoint exactly what defines mylittle sister. I look back at our relationship andwonder what every brother that is 15 months older thanhis sister does... Every moment I can remember was acompetition. We would push each other to the breakingpoint, whether it was a matter of wits(I won thosebelieve it or not), a matter of drive (I lostthose...I know, its shocking), or a matter ofendurance ( again, I lost). My parents taught us howto succeed, follow through, know the differencebetween right and wrong, how to treat others, but mostimportantly... how to make the most of ouropportunities and capitalize on our experiences. Ourtrue friends and relationships were and are built uponthis. Those closest to my sister and I know that wevalue our time with those closest to us more than timeor money could put a value on. If we deem itimportant, we would be there, without regard to how iteffects our lives going forward. We understand theimportance of the people in our lives, it DEFINES whowe are...it does not matter what we accomplish here,how much money we make, or the possessions we have,BUT how the people around us are touched by our beingtogether. Lindsey understood this better than mostand had IMPACT on every person she met. Her drive,her resolve, and her desire to be the best ineverything she did left a mark on all of us.

It is so unfortunate that something like this occursand realigns what we feel is important. We must takethe time to understand that only one thing defines whowe are... the people that surround us and those thatnudged us in the right direction. Lindsey understoodand appreciated this. It is difficult to recognizethis lesson after she is gone. I spoke with manypeople in the last couple weeks, but this has allowedme to learn more about the importance of who wesurround ourselves with and defines that Lindsey wasmuch wiser than I ever gave her creditfor...(Remember, I am the big brother and supposed topick on her constantly!!!) First off, we were on thesame page with the friends and teammatething...fortunately, I get that. There are two piecesto me that really shocked me over the last couple ofweeks that we should all take away. Lindsey reallyappreciated others that guided her through highschool, college, and work life. While I canunderstand this idea, I never appreciated the thought. She showed this by following up with those that hadimpact on her life and letting her know what she wasdoing (this makes people feel great... if you don'tbelieve me, call a teacher, a coach, coworker, or bossthat showed you something that you use in yourlife!!!!) This part I can understand, but most of usjust push forward and don't look back. The secondbit, I would have never done, until now.

Lindsey knew how to live in the moment. We all have15 things going on in our lives. We move from one tothe other, never appreciating what is going on at thatpoint, but instead looking forward on the next item todo. While most of us had 15 things to do, Lindsey had30, but appreciated what was going on at that exactmoment and did not look forward to the next item onthe list, but listened, understood, and took action onthe item that was at hand. This is how she had impacton ALL of us. We felt and knew that she cared andthat we were the most important thing in her life atthat moment. If we needed 15 minutes or 15 hours, shewas there for us. The rest would wait.

I miss my sister...I had so much to tell her... Inever got to tell her how proud I was of her... Ialways figured that we would get to a point in ourlives where we would have the time to discuss how wemade each other become driven, never to fail, that noone's expectations would ever exceed our own or eachothers...we never wanted each other to have the upperhand or feel they were out doing each other...Welearned from each other how to succeed beyondeveryone's expectation's...our friends, our parents,our teachers...We wanted to make everyone that knew usproud...It is so comforting knowing that Lindseysucceeded in this...I am certain she failed at things,but I know that her successes and lessons learned morethan outshined them...Lindsey has defined greatness,achieved success, understood the importance ofrelationships, and was a role model for those youngerand older that knew her. This is my biggest regretand if you have the opportunity, let others know howthey impacted you and how your benefit of knowing themmade you better!.

Regret...For me, this is difficult. I wish I couldhave said all of the things I thought, wished I haddone more, and spent more time with her. She knowsthese things now. Lindsey knows we loved her, knowshow much she prodded us just to drive us to greatness,and would be completely disappointed knowing that wedid not push on with our lives. She did not live withregret, but learned from mistakes and things she didnot do. Lindsey never made the same mistake twice,did not live with regret, and made the most of eachmoment...we should be so lucky.

I am beyond asking the question why, there is noanswer ...I know that I will get this answer somedayand will be delighted. It is selfish for me to wishshe were here as Lindsey is in a far better place.For some of us, this is a difficult concept! I amcertain my Grandpa's and Grandma are taking care ofher and showing her around. This is so comforting!

When I have a moment to come up for air and catch mybreath, I often think of my sister. I reflect on herstandards of excellence, her drive, her success, andher ability to live in the moment. This makes me wantto be a better person. I cannot and will not everfail. I believed this before, but am always reminded. I wish everyday for someone to tell me everyday whatI cannot do, to prove this fact.

Going forward, I will attempt to carry on my sistersmemory by living in the moment, continuallypersevering when times are difficult, and rememberingthose that allowed me to achieve success in my life.This is my tribute to my sister's memory. God blessall that knew her and act the way she did. We are sofortunate for knowing her and the world will be abetter place acting as she did.

My last memory of my sister and I defines how ourrelationship worked throughout our life...

We were both home for Christmas in Michigan...we bothput on goofy looking clothes so that we could gooutside in the snow. We went on top of a hill andbegan making a snowball. As you can imagine, with twoof us working on it, we got the snowball to about 4foot high...I suggested that we push it down the hill,but Lindsey says " how about one more roll..." At thispoint, I can't give in, so we both push really hardand roll it over one more time. This took ALOT ofeffort!!! At his point, Lindsey says, "Let's push itdown the hill..." I come back with..."Why can't weget one more roll???" Not to be shown up, Lindseysays, "Fine with me!" So we both really put our backand legs into, but we can't quite get it over...shelooks at me with that little grin, and I smirkback...Then I light the fire..."Put your ass into it,and let's get this thing over..." The grin turned tofire...I can honestly say, I may have pushed about 50%of what I pushed the time before...I am certain youknow the result! Needless to say, the snow ball wentforward one more rotation and then we shoved it downthe hill. The snowball was taller than me and then wehad a snowball fight. We walked back to the house,knowing that we accomplished something that met ourexpectations. This was rare and we were proud ofourselves... no one ever knew except our parents whenthe snow melted and they looked out through the trees! It is funny that at 26 and 27 we did something someaningless o the world, but so important to us. Itseems ironic that our parents were the first ones tobe proud of it...

When I went home after Lindsey passed, the snowballremained at a height of 3 feet even though they had 50degree weather and rain.

It will be impossible to forget Lindsey Ferris...herdrive, ambition, ability to live in the moment, THATlaugh, and her tenacity to succeed. I will remembermy sister for the rest of my life through her actions,but most of all her ability to live in the moment andhave impact on all those with which I have contact.She understood how to be great and others to feel andbe important!

Thank you to all of you for your presence at thememorial service, what a great tribute to Lindsey. Weall learned about her and the effect on others.

Thank you to all of you at the funeral, it wasunbelievable to see so many that knew and respectedher.

Thank you to all that carry on her memory, actions,drive, and perseverance... Your ability to apply thesethings show that Lindsey had a presence in your life.My family and I were impressed by your presence, yourstories, and your tribute to my sister. The Air Forcetook amazing steps to show their gratitude towardssoemone that defined greatness. They appreciated herservice and we should be very proud of the country welive in. We are protected by the finest people thatvoluntarily put their lives in dager to protecteverything we have. You have had an impact on ourlives and will not be forgotten. Thank you to allthat have known Lindsey...I am certain that you arebetter for it!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Lindsey in Germany

I'm so glad this blog was started so everyone can celebrate Lindsey's life. She was such an amazing person. I was so sad and upset when I heard of Lindsey's passing. I just didn't understand why someone with so much potential was taken away so quickly without an explanation. God had a better plan for her and I believe that Lindsey is planning her next adventure from "up there". Lindsey has touched so many peoples lives all over the world. It is evident after you read her guest book. There aren't enough words to describe the kind of person Lindsey was.

I met Lindsey in Oct 2003 right after she got to Spangdahlem. I was on recovery from a surgery I just had. She and our friend Renee came over for my birthday to have cake and watch movies. I liked her from the minute I met her. After that, Renee, myself and Lindsey were three peas in a pod. Renee and I worked in an office that was filled with men and married women. So, it was nice to finally add another "single" girl to our group and to also "feed the fire" in our office, so to speak. Our group was close knit. Being in the military, you tend to gravitate to your friends as your family. We were always going out to eat, making dinner at each others houses, or just hanging out. I remember how fascinated I was to hear all the things Lindsey had accomplished at such a young age. How driven she was to be the best she could be. Like everyone has said thus far, she had such an infectious personality; you couldn't help feel the excitement...even if we were just going out to eat!!! I have been racking my brain for a favorite Lindsey memory...and I can't think of just one. I have many. May it be our trip to Poland, our outings to the Speicher Pub (a small bar in Germany) or just simply being here friend. I love you Lindsey, thanks for being my friend.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Hello,

I’m so glad that you started this blog. I am an FBI Agent and I was honored to mentor Lindsey for a few years. She was a wonderful and bright girl. Marge Cunningham introduced Lindsey to me. Lindsey came to my house and I went to one of her meets. I also did gymnastics as a young girl, so we also had that in common. We talked on the phone and emailed often. I am so heartbroken about this. I had great hopes for Lindsey and I knew that she would make a great FBI Agent one day and we would have been so lucky to get her. I don’t have any pictures of Lindsey, so I’m so glad that you have posted some. I would love to see more photos of her beautiful smiling face. I have two daughters and Lindsey was very kind to them. She was just a fabulous person and I will remember her always. I still can’t believe that she is gone. Anyway, please keep posting the pictures and I will keep visiting the blog. She was truly blessed to have friends like you.

My favorite Lindsey story is when I first met her. I was Assistant Director at The George Washington University Police where Lindsey had just begun her Fellowship. The Chief called me downstairs to meet her in hopes that I could help introduce her to some of our staff. Now as with most policing agencies at any level, being a young person in the group is somewhat like being raised by a bunch of wolves. It is completely our goal to weed out their weaknesses and exploit them to help callus them in …OR for our amusement, it could go either way. Anyway Lindsey was “fresh fish” and I could hardly wait to go down stairs and try one of my standard “right of passage” routines on her. I went down and the Chief rushed off to a meeting. I chatted with Lindsey for a few moments and when another administrator walked in I introduced Lindsey and with a completely straight face proceeded to tell the other person that Lindsey was just telling me that her family was from a long line of circus people. Now this is where the “rookies” usually flail about and say “Nah eh! I did not say that!” in absolute protest as they are now on the spot to explain further to the person standing before them. I anxiously waited but Lindsey didn’t miss a beat, not a hair out of place not a grin on her face, with the most serious look I have ever seen her give she, said “Oh yeah.” My Great Aunt was a trap ease artist…that’s how she met my Uncle.

I thought to myself…Oh, this one’s a keeper. I liked her right away.

Interestingly enough, on our travel back from Lindsey’s services we joked that if Lindsey could mess with us from heaven she’d probably jump on it. After about 3 days of being back I went to a CPR / AED class where the instructor was from England. Now keep in mind I now live in a VERY SMALL town in Pennsylvania, this is probably the only foreign person in a 100 mile radius. Regardless, she was teaching the class and at the end we got to talking. She said her Mother is an entertainer in England and that she juggles. A bit odd I thought but no big deal. Then she proceeded to tell me that her whole family is from a long line of circus people and that her Aunt was a trap ease artist. I was skeptical and in my head I thought, lady, I invented this trick, you aren’t fooling me. I mean really, what are the odds, right? So it turns out they really are circus people! I am completely convinced Lindsey is getting even with me for putting her on the spot. When I get up there, it’s ON!

What a Fabulous Life

What a wonderful idea to create a blog in Lindsey's memory! I can honestly say I have never met anyone in my life more loved or respected than Lindsey. She had an infectious energy and laugh. I remember when she would get real excited about something she would laugh real loud and grab my shoulders and shake me, as if an effort to make me as excited as she was, what a wonderful concept!!! I agree with Mary Beth with her impersonation of Nell, hilarious!!! I don't know what to say or where to go from here. I have not touched base with her in a few years and this saddens me. I loved her and all of my Magnificat friends so deeply that when something like this happens it brings life's briefness into reality. I will say this, if anyone has lived the life they wanted to lead up to this point, Lindsey has done it!! I remember receiving emails from her right before she left for Germany from her training. I just looked through them in awe, how amazing is this girl, she is smart, beautiful, funny and driven!!!! As much as it saddens me that I have not kept in touch with Lindsey as much I know that we both made an impression on each other. As Mary Hirschauer (Stiles) said when I was upset talking about it, "some people are put into your life to make footprints on your soul, Lindsey walked all over your soul, as you did hers". I don't have a picture with me at work right now, but I have a pretty funny one from a Father/ Daughter dance that I would love to put up on this page!!

I love sharing memories. This experience has made me reflect on the person I am, and who I want to become. Lindsey has challenged me to be what I have always wanted to be, because life is short.

a little cake with my icing please

It's hard to pick one favorite memory of Lindsey. We had such a blast senior year going to visit my brother for little sibs weekend at UD. It was then that I discovered Lindsey's only fault – she's not the best shotgun; I think she slept almost the whole way! But that was Lindsey, always making efficient use of her time. I also have to laugh when I think back to the time Lindsey and I made a cake for some occasion at Amanda's. I can't remember if it was a birthday or holiday, but I brought a book on how to make cakes into different shapes. We of course selected the most challenging: the house. No amount of icing could make our cake house stay together, despite our best efforts. It wasn't really sliceable by the time we had smushed everything together, so I believe we all just gathered round with forks and dug in.

I think though what most impressed me about Lindsey was her ability to pull people together. I'm pretty sure over half of the people at our 5 year high school reunion only came because Lindsey called to say she was going to be in town. And with Lindsey, you could always pick up right where you left off. She really did bring out the best in people. I am going to miss very much hearing about her adventures.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Lindsey's impact

There is so much to say and nothing to say all at the same time. I was lucky enough to reconnect with Lindsey a few months ago via email. It was so much fun! Her sense of humor hadn't changed and her warmth was evident even over so much distance and after so many years. She inspired me during high school with her determination, talent, and friendship and she will continue to inspire me throughout my life.

As for a favorite memory of Lindsey...all I have to say is her impression of Nell. Everyone remember "tree in the wind?" I still crack up thinking about that!!! Or Nicole, Laura, Lindsey and I singing Eternal Flame in the middle of Westwood Town Center...with harmony, I might add. Or listening to how excited she was when she talked about her Genesis project at the FBI with Mr. Kirkland. Or this crazy 4th of July party at my house and Claugue Park. There are so many!

I'm sure that this is going to sound absolutely cheesy but this has been such a wake up call. Regardless of where we all are now, we shared four (in some cases more) important years together. We grew up together, we laughed together, we cried together and I don't know about everyone else, but Lindsey's passing has made me realize how strong of a connection we have to one another. I don't know...maybe I'm the only one feeling like this but I have such a strong desire to reconnect with all of you right now and if I really think about, that desire has been there for a long time.

All of my pictures from high school are back at my parent's house in Westlake so I don't have anything to submit but I look forward to seeing her smiling face through the images placed in this blog.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

A Call to Action

I've never blogged before, but it's 2006 now, so here I go:

Where to begin? There are so many things to say about Lindsey. Lindsey was always a fountain of energy and positivity. But she was so many more things than that all at once: she was hilarious and sensitive, thoughtful and fun, accomplished and humble. She could be the wackiest and most fun or she could be the sweetest and most caring. She was all of these things at the same time. She was one of a kind.

I hope that the knowledge that Lindsey is still out there in this world making a difference — through so many people's memories of her — is a comfort to her family and those closest to her. I hope that Lindsey's friends from all phases, high school, college, grad school, DC, Germany, will post their stories and memories to this site.

I think that if we all keep her spirit going, keep her memories alive, or even create a community (though cyber) around her, that could be a great comfort to her family.

I myself have so many questions that come from not seeing Lindsey since right after college, but she was such an amazing person and friend throughout high school and after. If you went to college with her, or grad school with her, or if you were in Germany with her, or if you've known her all your life, you must have known a new or different side of her, but I am sure she was still just the same: positive, energetic, genuine, thoughtful, enthusiastic, motivated, smart, wacky, funny, sensitive. I would love to hear any Lindsey stories that you can share. I would love to see photos. I would love to be caught up.Please share.-liz judge

A favorite memory of Lindsey

Lindsey FerrisI have a lot of great memories of Lindsey. She was such a warm, fun person to be around. But a particular favorite of mine (aside from the many sleepovers when Lindsey would talk in her sleep!) would be during our senior year of high school. It was Halloween. Lindsey was dressed as a Ninja Turtle of the Teenage Mutant variety. She was one of the few people that could pull a gag like this off without anyone making fun of her (well, I'm sure a number of her friends ribbed her for this, but that's beside the point). It was a costume she'd borrowed from friends of the family.

We left the school to drive to the local mall for lunch. Lindsey was sitting in the backseat, while another friend of ours drove. That particular friend was smoking (what many of you have probably heard Lindsey refer to as "cancer sticks"). Lindsey was so worried that the beloved turtle costume would smell like smoke. But instead of berating our friend, Lindsey just sat in the backseat and started coughing, going on and on until we were all laughing. Needless to say, the cigarette was put out. Leave it to her to make it a comedy.-Amanda Butterfield