ibleedgraphite:hm, the background is still distracting to meLani Kai:don't be so easily distracted thenibleedgraphite:okayibleedgraphite:I will cut a hole in a sheet of white paper the shape of the wooden thingibleedgraphite:and place it over the monitor when I need to look at your picture

Lani Kai: that is rather Ansel Adams-yLani Kai:I like the lightibleedgraphite:it is artificialibleedgraphite:there's actually very little contrastibleedgraphite: changing the levels that much messed up the color, which is hidden by the bwibleedgraphite:I've probably never taken a correctly exposed photo in my life that turned out well

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

ibleedgraphite:that is an evil signibleedgraphite:it just made me think of parking thereLani Kai:it isLani Kai:are you supposed to stop or not?ibleedgraphite:ohibleedgraphite:I was only looking at the bottom oneibleedgraphite:you seem to enjoy taking pictures of signs on the sides of roadsLani Kai:perhaps

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

ibleedgraphite:hmmibleedgraphite:I believe that building was designed by Renzo Pianoibleedgraphite:and it was blown up by aliens in Independence Dayibleedgraphite:aliens don't like postmodern architectureLani Kai: "The building was designed by Henry N. Cobb of the architectural firm Pei Cobb Freed & Partners and cost $350 million to build."ibleedgraphite:oh, okayibleedgraphite:that makes more senseLani Kai:the Wikipedia article also doesn't say anything about Independence DayLani Kai:which means it didn't happenibleedgraphite:I'll add it thenibleedgraphite:the page needs an "In Popular Culture" sectionLani Kai:I'll flag it with [citation needed]

Saturday, December 26, 2009

ibleedgraphite:trippyLani Kai:actually "trippy" would be more relevant if this were at Death ValleyLani Kai: "The philosopher Michel Foucault called his 1975 acid trip at Zabriskie Point the greatest experience of his life."Lani Kai:but it ties in with the next line in that articleLani Kai:This location is featured prominently on the cover of U2's album The Joshua Tree.ibleedgraphite:was that before or after the pendulum?Lani Kai:what pendulum?ibleedgraphite:Foucault's pendulum?Lani Kai:or did you mean panopticonibleedgraphite:pretty sure it was a pendulumLani Kai:[citation needed]ibleedgraphite:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foucault_pendulumibleedgraphite:and dont accuse me of writing this whole article just nowLani Kai:wrong FoucaultLani Kai:nice going

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Lani Kai: is it turned toward you?ibleedgraphite:yes, it is ready for its close-upLani Kai:why the black and white?Lani Kai: and it's like a mild black and white by your standardsibleedgraphite:moving the levels enough to bring out the highlights in the beeibleedgraphite:blew out the background on the right, which is like exactly the same shade of grayibleedgraphite:and I was too lazy to make the adjustments manually

Monday, December 07, 2009

ibleedgraphite:cheateribleedgraphite:I posted this like 3 years agoibleedgraphite:thought I wouldn't notice?Lani Kai:mine is betteribleedgraphite:that's because you already saw mineLani Kai:Colorburn is always striving for improvementibleedgraphite:mine is originalLani Kai:yours is unpolishedLani Kai:it's the beta releaseibleedgraphite:well mine already has all the market shareibleedgraphite:so nyehLani Kai:yours has a manufacturing defect and needs to be recalledibleedgraphite:people already love mine, they don't want to be bothered with new and so-called improved stuff which is merely repackaged and more expensive and harder to useLani Kai:you engage in unethical practicesLani Kai:my waterdrops were unharmed in the making of this photograph

ibleedgraphite:how long does it take a normal person to run a mile?Lani Kai:normal as in the average overweight American?Lani Kai:or someone like you and meibleedgraphite:the kind of person who would know how long it takes them to run a mile

Lani Kai:7-8 minutes, maybeibleedgraphite:all the people on Yahoo! Answersibleedgraphite:are apparently very nimbleibleedgraphite:according to Yahoo!ibleedgraphite:"It seems to me that a 15-year-old male should be running about a 5:30 to 6:00 mile."

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Lani Kai: betteribleedgraphite:ok, now say something elseLani Kai:this could be an ad for the white shoesibleedgraphite:or for public transportationLani Kai: put a slogan on itibleedgraphite: "I got BART all over my shoes!"

ibleedgraphite:I bet I can tell what the histogram for this picture looks likeibleedgraphite:and it would make a great playground slideLani Kai:as it turns out, I think it would be rather scaryibleedgraphite:and as the little kiddies are playing around the slideibleedgraphite:you can use this camera to sneak pictures of them for your private enjoyment

Monday, November 23, 2009

Lani Kai:I need to go take pictures somewhereLani Kai:I find it hard to believe but it's already been three weeks since I went awayibleedgraphite:wow, really?Lani Kai:this means I've been posting pictures from the same trip for three weeks

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

ibleedgraphite:why were you hiding in the foliage?Lani Kai:waiting for the decisive momentibleedgraphite:sounds like terrorist-talkLani Kai:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henri_Cartier-Bresson#The_Decisive_Momentibleedgraphite:why couldn't the decisive moment have been less blurry in the bottom right?Lani Kai:because the decisive moment was best photographed at f/1.8ibleedgraphite:you say that very decisively

Monday, November 16, 2009

ibleedgraphite:what is that green rectangle an ad for?Lani Kai:Yahoo!ibleedgraphite:rather brilliant place for an adibleedgraphite:although not entirely relevant in contextibleedgraphite:if it were a Google ad, it'd be likeibleedgraphite:"find the best and cheapest flatirons in your area"

Saturday, November 14, 2009

ibleedgraphite:I think my camera has a dead pixelibleedgraphite:I don't suppose it can be revivedLani Kai:if you take it to Canon I believe they can re-map itibleedgraphite:that sounds complicatedLani Kai:you could make a Photoshop action to clone it out; just take the next pixel over or somethingibleedgraphite:I think I will let it rest in peace for now until it starts hurting peopleLani Kai:that would be a zombie pixelLani Kai:I think you should give it a proper burialLani Kai:I mean, think of all the pixels around itLani Kai:you wouldn't want a dead body sitting next to you all the time would you?ibleedgraphite:well, it's not really noticeable most of the timeLani Kai:it's not noticeable because you take mostly dark pictures?ibleedgraphite:actually it appears as 100% whiteLani Kai:oh, that's not a dead pixel, that's a stuck pixelibleedgraphite:how comforting, it is merely stuckLani Kai:that's the worstLani Kai:that means it can't go to heaven or hellLani Kai:so it comes out to haunt youibleedgraphite:oh, I was thinking like stuck in a treeibleedgraphite:it just has to climb downibleedgraphite:c'mon little pixel, you can do itLani Kai:maybe if you bring it a ladderibleedgraphite:okay, I'll take a picture of a ladder

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

ibleedgraphite:I have my own style of accountingLani Kai:making up numbers?Lani Kai:asking other people?ibleedgraphite: usually, I type in numbers and hit the "grade" button until one of them is rightLani Kai:would you say you have a passion for accounting?ibleedgraphite: if you're asking if I would have sex with accountingibleedgraphite: the answer isibleedgraphite: umibleedgraphite: if it has a nice ASSetibleedgraphite: then yes, maybeLani Kai:you'll probably insert it in the wrong column and later discover that it's just liabilities

Monday, November 09, 2009

ibleedgraphite:did you know that what's-her-face just published an autobiographyibleedgraphite:Donald Trump's daughterLani Kai:noibleedgraphite:Ivankaibleedgraphite:which is like Ivana, if you cough at the endLani Kai:ok?ibleedgraphite:I thought it was relevantibleedgraphite:because it says Trump Tower at the bottomLani Kai:I didn't take a picture of the Trump Tower because I had any interest in Donald Trump's family mattersibleedgraphite:what do you want me to say?Lani Kai:I dunnoibleedgraphite:the scrawny little trees on the terraces are like Donald Trump's sad attempt at hair?Lani Kai:"ooh, that's where they film The Apprentice"Lani Kai:or that it's the 49th tallest building in New Yorkibleedgraphite:wowibleedgraphite:those are clearly extremely important and fascinating insightsLani Kai:I know right?ibleedgraphite:I can't imagine how awesome it felt to stand down thereibleedgraphite:looking up at the building where they film The ApprenticeLani Kai:it's times like these that i know I've failedLani Kai:you don't like the picture at all, do you?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

ibleedgraphite:the tagline is about mortgages and having trouble paying off debtsibleedgraphite:how timelyLani Kai:do you suppose the building was abandoned because they couldn't pay the mortgage?Lani Kai:maybe they set fire to it to try to claim insuranceibleedgraphite:Barbara Cartland was trying to warn themibleedgraphite:and they repay her by burning her book

ibleedgraphite: Motel Henningibleedgraphite: what is a Henning?ibleedgraphite: oh, it also says FREEibleedgraphite: free Hennings!ibleedgraphite: wootLani Kai:so is that the name of the place?ibleedgraphite: apparently

Monday, October 12, 2009

As someone who has purchased or rated books by Chinua Achebe, you might like to know that The Education of a British-Protected Child: Essays will be released on October 6, 2009. You can pre-order yours at a savings of $8.48 by following the link below.The Education of a British-Protected Child: Essays
Chinua Achebe
List Price: $24.95
Price: $16.47
You Save: $8.48 (34%)

Release Date: October 6, 2009ibleedgraphite:that has to be the least exciting title everLani Kai:seriouslyLani Kai:I can't even tell you how much that makes me not want to read itibleedgraphite: I would rather read the warranty for my TV

ibleedgraphite:what kind of feelings do you get?Lani Kai: I'm slightly annoyed by composites, actuallyLani Kai: and that's all you've been posting latelyLani Kai: go out and take some real photosibleedgraphite:you must also be against interracial marriageibleedgraphite:racist

Saturday, October 03, 2009

ibleedgraphite:wow, it comes with a captionLani Kai:just in case you didn't know what this wasibleedgraphite:or, it's fake and they're trying to lend it an extra air of legitimacyLani Kai:oh, like someone stole the real one and left a fake one so no one notices right away?ibleedgraphite:like the fake Louis Vuitton handbags that come with a bunch of extra documentation that the real ones actually don't haveLani Kai:why do you know so much about handbags?

ibleedgraphite:what is thatibleedgraphite:a giant ad for Citigroup?Lani Kai:no, it's the name of the plaza that I wasn't supposed to photographibleedgraphite:how many debit card overdraft fees do you think it cost to make that sign?Lani Kai:not too manyLani Kai:6 or 7ibleedgraphite:that would only be like $250Lani Kai:it's just a slab of glass with laser etching on it

Friday, October 02, 2009

Lani Kai:I did some statistics research on ColorburnLani Kai:of the last 100 search engine hitsLani Kai:41 are related to "colorburn" or some derivative, including one hit for "photo blog" or somethingLani Kai:of the remaining 59 hitsLani Kai:48 are searches for some sort of pornography or nudityLani Kai:and 11 are everything elseibleedgraphite:we should start a porn blog

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Lani Kai:this photo is a tributeLani Kai:because that seems to be the cool thing to do these daysibleedgraphite:who's the silly person who put the Priority Mail sticker there?ibleedgraphite:the postage to mail the stoplight would be like $1,234,355Lani Kai:try a flat rate boxLani Kai:anyway, this is fittingLani Kai:Jackson worked on an analog medium

Sunday, September 27, 2009

ibleedgraphite:why is that one stem bent over?Lani Kai: hm, I never noticedLani Kai: now it's going to bother meLani Kai:thanks a lotibleedgraphite: it looks like it's performing oral sex on the other stemLani Kai:no it doesn'tibleedgraphite:fineibleedgraphite: I was just trying to bother you more

ibleedgraphite:wow, it's very verticalibleedgraphite:the pole is perfectly parallel with the edges of the frameLani Kai:that's the proper way to do itLani Kai:have all yours been horizontal?ibleedgraphite:yes, yes, yes, and no

ibleedgraphite:the proper way to play is to cut off a finger whenever your opponent lands on free parkingibleedgraphite: anyway, Mr. Moneybags represents the military-industrial complex; notice his hands are bloody

Monday, September 21, 2009

Lani Kai: was the chance square a landmine?ibleedgraphite:they don't have landmines in Iraq, just IEDsibleedgraphite:in any case, he's definitely not passing GoLani Kai:$200 these days is not worth it anyway

Saturday, September 19, 2009

ibleedgraphite:did you hear about [Trypto]?Lani Kai: no, what happened?ibleedgraphite:what?? you don't know?! why did you think he wasn't online or answering the phone or anything?Lani Kai:look, if I knew, I would have said, "yes, I've heard"ibleedgraphite:his appendix burst, they rushed him to the hospital a couple days agoibleedgraphite:it's really bad; there were complicationsLani Kai:what kind of complications?ibleedgraphite:apparently his pyloric sphincter is a portal to Narniaibleedgraphite:JUST KIDDING EVERYONE! I just changed my screen name; I actually stopped using Trypto like two years ago

...

Lani Kai: I think it's facing the wrong directionibleedgraphite:exactly, it represents the rushed decision to invade Iraq after 9/11 based on faulty intelligence and with poorly defined goalsibleedgraphite:the darkness embodies the murky and morally ambivalent nature of the conflict

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Lani Kai: I noticed some Google hits from a while back so I added thoseLani Kai:colorburn patternLani Kai:can you get tan under Lanai?ibleedgraphite:hehLani Kai:photoblogs aboy nude boatingLani Kai:Rodney Lough Jr blogsLani Kai:white as milk photoblog

Lani Kai: straight-ahead arrow lights really never made much sense to meibleedgraphite:what if there was a red arrow that pointed downwards?Lani Kai:that typically means it's not ok to drive in that lane,
such as a toll booth that is closedibleedgraphite:it doesn't mean you're going to hell?

Lani Kai:I think you should make it black and whiteibleedgraphite: okay

...

ibleedgraphite:what's the difference between screw, bolt, and nuts?Lani Kai:a nut is typically hexagonal, and has threads on the inside. Screws and bolts are similar--they have threads on the outside, but bolts don't necessarily have a screw headibleedgraphite:noLani Kai:what do you mean, "no"ibleedgraphite:nuts are what you use to screw, and then bolt is what you do after you finish screwing

ibleedgraphite: DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS.Lani Kai: if tomorrow is the best day of my life, I might as well shoot myself after tomorrowibleedgraphite:if you shoot yourself tomorrow, you won't be kissed by the love of your life on FridayLani Kai:people kiss dead people at the viewing

Friday, September 11, 2009

Lani Kai: if you take out your lines on ColorburnLani Kai:it is largely incoherentLani Kai: but if you take out all of mine it is eerily similar to Garfield Minus Garfieldibleedgraphite:the existential rambling of a psychotic photographer?

Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and Amortization:

$78.31

Google Search: "Colorburn"

01/01/09: I've clicked "Promote" on Google for this blog so it always shows up at #1. You should click too...01/01/08: Up to #309/24/07: Still #404/16/07: #403/15/07: Main Index at #7. "CLIX: Concern" at #19. Site Statistics page has disappeared...12/21/06: Main Index at #4, Site Statistics at #612/10/06: Slipped down to #5, but the Site Statistics (linked below) is now at #6...10/21/06: #310/14/06: #409/30/06: #18