How Feminism Went Too Far by Ebele Chizea

How Feminism Went Too Far

by Ebele Chizea

Published on Mon, Jan 05 2009 by Ebele Chizea

Feminism with its roots in the 60’s sought to break women free from the false ideology of male superiority that was prevalent back then and still persists even in these times. Thanks to the feminist movement, women currently occupy roles in society that were previously only held by men. It is a great testament to us that women more than ever are occupying positions as doctors, lawyers, teachers, engineers etc. Yes, in the workforce what a man can do, a woman can also do-but not necessarily better or worse for this is something that should be assessed on an individual basis. It is high time we get rid of the competitive mode.

However, there are abilities that women have more natural affinity for than men and the same can be said about men with regards to women. For example, women are more inclined to be intuitive and excellent communicators. And men tend to be physically stronger and better at analytical thinking than women. This does not mean that one is superior to the other, but in fact, complementary. So how did feminism go too far? Well, by giving women the impression that we all need to possess male qualities of assertiveness in the form of ambition when it should have just been an option. We are told that we can be everything we want to be including excellent mothers until the time comes and we find ourselves at a crossroad between the highest paying job and spending more time with the children in the form of teaching, playing and sharing stories for instance.

Back in the day (I like to think before men messed it up and decided to suppress women) men were expected to go through the rigorous and challenging labor force; something that they are inherently equipped at doing while it was the role of women to care for the home and nurture the children. The most sacred role of humankind has now been reduced to something that only unintelligent or unserious women settle for. Dare tell a feminist that you’d rather be a stay-at-home mom and the look they give you is one of “how shameful!” Feminism creates the idea that all women must want to work-should work and just as much as the man, forgetting that the most important duty is the creation of an ideal home on which an ideal society is dependent on.

The common counter argument to this is to ask what about the man? Why can’t he be a stay-at-home father or even better yet, why can’t the man and the woman share equal responsibility? A lot of people are currently practicing this system, and it has proven successful for many of them. However, if we are really honest with ourselves, we will admit that children are gaining more and more influence from external sources like teachers, nannies and maids and sometimes even television and video games! This is as a result of both parents sharing equal responsibility of bringing in the bacon. In the process, quality time as a family is sacrificed. The current economic system and the problems that come with it do not help the situation either, but that is a topic for another day.

One cannot deny the special connection women have with their offspring considering the fact that they carry them for nine months, breast feed them and are clung to more often than not.ï¿½ I believe it is for this reason (and some) that if one person were to stay home at least, more often than the other, it would have to be the woman. Feminism would do us more justice by not refusing to deny this aspect of ourselves and to esteem it to the point where a stay-at-home mother, for example, or even a working woman with traditional ideas (as long as they are not demeaning to herself and to her gender) can still be a feminist.

I consider myself quite ambitious and independent and would also like to get married someday and have children, but truth to be told, the type of life I want for myself is in conflict with the type of relationship I want to have with my children. This is an issue I believe, that many women face but are publicly not encouraged to discuss/admit these days.

Men have their role in this equation of “family planning,” but I do not feel it is my duty to currently expatiate on this.ï¿½ However, I look forward to a humanistic movement of men and women joining hands to create a society where battle of the sexes is outdated.ï¿½ It would be great indeed, to progress to the point where genders are able to celebrate their differences and give each other the space to fill the roles they were meant to fill be it individually and/or communally.