Kristin Cavallari Found The Xanax

Ever since Jay Cutler of the Chicago Bears kicked her to the curb over the weekend, Kristin Cavallari has been walking around looking like someone who got dumped after already posing in a wedding dress and selling the exclusives to Life & Style. Except here she is last night looking surprisingly chipper, so either she’s about to commit suicide – They always look the happiest before they do it. I’ll check her sideboob for weapons. – or she’s gone from anger and depression right back to denial in the grieving process. “Broke up? Oh, no no no no. Jay and I are doing great. Just great. In fact, that’s him right now! *holds shoe to ear* Hi, honey, I was just talking about you! What’s that? You want to have babies? But what about my career? — You’re right, I am too pretty to have one, and it’s totally because of the coke. God, I love you, Brody Jenner. (He likes when I call him that.)”