Summary: Joey voices over something about how she can’t swear this is how things happened, but this is how it felt. Meanwhile, Grams and Jen hold a yard sale in preparation for their move to New York, Jack and Pacey move out of their apartment (still no sign of Emma). Audrey studies, and Dawson works at the Leerys’ restaurant. Joey rows over to the Leerys’ house and climbs the ladder, finding Dawson taking down all his movie posters. She still wants him to make his movie even without any money.

Joey continues that Dawson’s money problems aren’t Pacey’s fault. Dawson says that it’s just par for the course for them. He’s also upset that she’s choosing Pacey’s side, though she says she isn’t. Joey tells him that if he gives up now, everything will be a waste. Dawson says he doesn’t believe in it anymore. The movie was supposed to be “a celebration of friendship,” but he doesn’t want to tell the story anymore. Joey refuses to let him give up.

The next day, Joey gathers Jen, Jack, and Audrey at Grams’ and gives them assignments to make the movie happen. For example, Audrey will be playing Tamara. Jen suggests that she could play Eve, but Eve isn’t in the movie. Audrey asks who Eve is. “Long story. Ambiguous ending,” Jack replies. (So I guess Jen just never asked her mother about that, huh?)

Next Joey goes to Capeside to retrieve Pacey from Doug’s place. Pacey’s been filling his time by watching soaps in his underwear. Joey tells him they’re making Dawson’s movie for “$10 and a dream.” Pacey thinks he would just screw things up, but Joey insists that they need his help. He says things between him and Dawson will never be the same – and neither will things between anyone in the group.

Audrey and Joey bust Harley and Patrick making out, and Joey promises not to tell Hetson if the two of them do her a favor. Meanwhile, Jen and Jack try to get some film geek interested in the movie; Jen even offers to go out with him. He’d rather go out with Jack. Dawson comes home from the restaurant to find Joey, Jen, Jack, and Audrey in his room with all his movie equipment and posters. They tell him they’ve cast the movie for him and will help him make the film. And he doesn’t have to worry about work because Gail is firing him.

Production begins in downtown Capeside, starting with a scene between “Pacey” (Patrick) and “Tamara” (Audrey) at the video store. Joey and Gail have worked something out with Doug to get Pacey to make a delivery. Patrick and film student George start the scene where Pacey and Dawson met Tamara, but Audrey has problems showing skin. Patrick asks if she can just go naked. He narrowly escapes a beating at the hands of Joey. Meanwhile, Pacey tries to charm a dentist into doing a cameo in the movie.

The video-store owner isn’t happy about how long the filming is taking, so Doug (who’s blocked off the street for Dawson) takes him outside to distract him for a few minutes. Joey’s freaking out about how many things are going wrong, but Dawson likes the chaos because it leads to “happy accidents.” Speaking of happy (or at least things that make me happy), Todd arrives to lend a hand, having been told about the movie by Gail. Joey ends up as his errand girl.

Dawson tries to film the scene just before Jen’s first appearance on the show, but Harley (playing Joey) won’t let Patrick pull her into the water because she can’t swim. Joey makes Audrey tend to Todd while she splashes water and makes it look like Harley’s in the water when she isn’t. As Pacey keeps trying to round up townspeople, Joey assures Harley that her character isn’t a lesbian, so that’s not the reason she hates Jen.

Pacey ends up at a restaurant and runs into his old crush Kristy. She’s stunned that he doesn’t remember her. Grams watches the filming from the Leerys’ porch, enjoying that the kids are having fun with each other again. She’s ready to begin the next part of her life in New York. She says she misses Capeside every day but isn’t sorry they left. The two of them and Jack say goodbye to everyone and head off to New York.

Pacey and Kristy catch up, and she gives him her phone number and encourages him to call. As she leaves, Joey arrives and Pacey boasts that the girl who represents every girl who ever thought he was a loser is now interested in him. Joey notes that plenty of girls have told him over and over that he’s not a loser. Pacey still doesn’t want to go to the set, but he gives Joey a bunch of money, so apparently he’s spent all day taking donations. She tells him it’s not her fight.

Dawson wraps the first day of filming with a Joey/Dawson scene from the pilot. The day on the set has made Todd want to produce instead of direct. He also totally wants Audrey. She tries to resist his charms, but ultimately gives in. Dawson and Joey wind up back in their traditional spots on his bed, and he invites her to spend the night. He wonders what she would do if she woke up 15 again. Joey says watching the filming makes her feel like a weight has been lifted. He agrees, saying the movie will save him a lot of money on therapy.

The two talk about what a great day they had, then discuss what the movie is about. Dawson says it’s about a girl who had to grow up to realize she already had everything she wanted. He tells her he’s afraid that if he closes his eyes, she’ll leave. She doesn’t, but when he wakes up in the morning, he’s alone. Joey’s left him a note asking him to meet her by the fountain in what I guess are the ruins.

Dawson’s there at the appointed time, but instead of Joey, he meets Pacey. The guys aren’t sure how to get past their recent fight, since they both meant everything they said to each other. Pacey isn’t sure it’s possible to move on since they’re so different from the people they used to be. He thinks the only thing they still have in common is their love for Joey. The guys confirm that neither regrets the time he spent with Joey. Pacey thinks they’re both lucky that she would want to be with either of them.

Dawson notes that they both wanted Joey so much, they destroyed their friendship, but Joey only ever wanted them to be friends. Pacey asks if it’s possible for them to repair their friendship. After a long pause, Dawson says that anything’s possible. Pacey gives him the money, plus the news that the dentist will need a cameo. Dawson’s very touched and thanks him.

Joey voices over again as Dawson films the last scene, Harley rowing Joey’s boat. Jen and Jack walk through New York as Joey walks down another street in a city she’s finally gotten to visit: Paris. She talks about how her friends have shaped who she’s become, and how she loves them more every day. Bad things happened, but she’s able to remember the good times. She can’t swear this is how things happened, but this is how it felt.

Thoughts: Of course Joey’s the hero here. After all, the show is called Joey’s Creek, isn’t it?

Summary: Pacey is still outside the Leerys’ house, preparing to tell Dawson that he lost all his money. Dawson invites him in to see all the film equipment he bought with his new credit cards. His happiness and gratitude make it even harder for Pacey to give him the bad news. Which is why he doesn’t, even when Dawson gives him a script and asks him to be an associate producer.

In Boston, Jen’s mother Helen arrives for a visit Jen knew about but Grams didn’t. Grams is angry with Jen because she didn’t want Helen to know that she has cancer. Jen hasn’t told her but thinks she deserves to know. JackOsbourne is back at Worthington, which he might wind up attending. Audrey has a “Lifetime moment” since she and Joey are about to part ways for the summer. She gives Joey her furry pink pillow, for some reason.

Jen and the other Jack go grocery shopping so Jen can cook dinner for her mother and grandmother. She begs Jack to eat with them so she doesn’t have to face Helen on her own. Jack thinks C.J. will be enough moral support. Plus, he’ll be meeting Helen for the first time, then saying goodbye to Jen before going to New York for grad school.

Joey goes home to Capeside and finds The Untitled Dawson Leery Script on the front porch of the B&B. She then goes to the Leerys’, where the ladder is back in its usual place. Dawson tells her to climb it, so she does, discovering that he’s set up his room the way it used to look, with all the movie posters. She’s impressed with his eye for detail.

Jen, Grams, and Helen awkwardly have tea, and Jen comes up with an excuse to leave the room so the other two are forced to talk. Helen wonders why Jen summoned her to Boston, and why she and Grams have waited so long to reconnect. She likes the person Jen has become, especially considering the person she would have become if she’d stayed in New York. Grams is glad that she could help, and knows Helen would do the same if Grams needed her assistance.

Audrey and Jack Osbourne run into Pacey at Hell’s Kitchen; it’s the first time Audrey and Pacey have seen each other since she went to rehab. She’s surprised to learn that he’s thinking about drinking during the day. She asks him what he’s hiding from. Pacey laments that he let people believe in him, and now it’s coming back to haunt them. Audrey warns him not to try to deal with his problems by drinking.

Dawson and Joey recognize the awkwardness between them and how they haven’t talked in a long time. She wonders if being back in a familiar place might actually help them reconnect. Talk turns to Dawson’s screenplay, which he claims he gave to her so he could get an honest opinion from someone who hates him. Joey tells him he grew up. She thought she would escape while he remained a hopeless dreamer, but she was just trying to get away from growing up.

Joey continues that she’s realized how difficult it is for her to talk about intimacy, but it doesn’t mean she has to lose herself. Dawson thinks that sometimes you have to lose someone to realize how much that person meant to you. He tells her missed her. She assures him that this time, he got his screenplay right. She adds that she missed their friendship.

Helen meets Jack and C.J., thinking Jack is Jen’s boyfriend. (She’s forgotten that she met him before.) “I don’t know what the gays look like these days,” Helen says. Jen says Jack is her only friend, which is bull, and when Helen comments that Jen used to be popular, Jen tells her it was because she had so much sex.

Suddenly Uncle Bill bursts in to confront Grams over their breakup. He’s looked into the lies she told him and knows she has cancer. This is news not just to Helen but also to Jack. Bill wants Grams to let him care about her, and he encourages her not to give up. He doesn’t realize that not everyone in the room knew. Jen agrees with him that Grams needs to stop trying to be so strong and let her family take care of her. She also thinks they should move to New York and live with Helen. Helen agrees.

Joey leaves Dawson’s house late, just as Pacey is returning. He tells them both that his and Dawson’s money is all gone. Dawson reminds him that he wanted out of Stepatech. Pacey says he was just trying to do the right thing. Dawson replies that Pacey always wants to be the hero, but he’s so eager that he doesn’t see all the pieces of the puzzle. Pacey can’t believe that Dawson thinks Pacey screwed him over.

Joey tries to calm the two of them down, but Dawson says it won’t help. Pacey thinks they should address the elephant in the room. Joey protests, wanting them to keep business business. Dawson notes that he and Pacey haven’t been friends for a long time anyway. In fact, he doesn’t think Pacey has been his friend for a long time, since he made them competitors. If he hadn’t, he would have seen that they’re not that far apart.

Pacey says their worlds aren’t alike, and Dawson’s just upset that Pacey broke out of his. Dawson isn’t impressed at Pacey’s supposed success, especially since it made both of them broke. Pacey says that’s just life. He asks Dawson if he’s happy that he’s the better man now. Dawson says Pacey wrote him off long ago.

Pacey points out that Dawson hasn’t tried to get in touch with him for the past three years. Joey again tries to bring some peace. Pacey tells Dawson he didn’t mean to lose all his money and he’s sorry. Dawson says it was all a mistake from the beginning. Pacey walks off and no one tries to stop him. Then Dawson goes back into the house without saying anything to Joey.

Joey joins Pacey on a dock, though he thinks she’d rather be comforting Dawson. These are the roles they were meant to play. Joey says they chose to play these roles, and they’re now ghosts of the people they used to be. She doesn’t think they even remember how the whole mess started. If Joey wanted to go after Dawson, she would. She adds that no matter how much she loves Pacey, he only remembers the negative things.

Pacey says his best friend just walked away, but they haven’t even been friends for the past three years. Joey encourages him to let her be his friend. She may not fit where he wants her to, but that doesn’t meant there’s no place for her. She thinks the guys need to stop their rivalry because it’s been a moot point for a long time. Pacey needs to be the one to make the move. Joey says that ghosts don’t leave until they’ve made peace.

Back in Boston, Jack addresses Jen’s secret-keeping, saying she and Grams are basically his only family. Grams asks him not to feel sorry for him, just believe in her. He promises to visit them in New York, but Grams wants him to move there with him. Jack can’t really argue, since he was the one who wanted to go to school in New York in the first place.

Summary: Pacey’s having dinner with Sadia, who wonders why he waited so long to ask her out. He tells her he was “otherwise engaged,” but that’s been “taken care of.” At Worthington, Joey and Eddie discuss Catch-22 so the writers can justify using that for the title of the episode. She’s studying for Hetson’s final, wanting to make up for the last final she took for his class. Audrey gets a letter from the dean informing her that she can only stay at Worthington if she goes to summer school. She thinks she can negotiate her way out of it.

Joey realizes that since the semester is almost over, she and Eddie won’t be able to stay in her dorm anymore. They’ve discussed going to Capeside to work at the B&B, but Eddie has other ideas, ones he won’t share with Joey. Jack stops by the helpline while David is working, but David’s still mad about their ridiculous fight and doesn’t want to talk. He agrees to maybe meet with Jack later, but doesn’t give any kind of commitment.

At work, Pacey speaks to some job candidates, telling them that he had sex with Sadia because his life is awesome. Also, because he’s officially turned into Rich. Speaking of Rich, he tells Pacey that the Stepatech approval is about to go through. Pacey hooks up with Sadia again later, telling her that as soon as the FDA approves Stepatech’s new medical “thingy,” he’ll have enough money to buy a new car. In case it isn’t clear that Pacey has turned into Rich, he barely reacts when Sadia mentions that she has a boyfriend.

Joey ensures that she’s on time for her final by arriving two hours early with Eddie. Eddie decides that now is a good time to thank Hetson for his recommendation to the writing workshop. Joey’s worried that things will go badly and Eddie will end up hitting Hetson again. Eddie proceeds with a thank-you that proves he’s not as good with words as his admission into the workshop would have us believe. Joey tells Eddie that Hetson’s “whatever” is the best response he’s going to get.

Dawson calls Pacey at work to say he’s changed his mind about Pacey letting him invest all his money. Pacey assures him that Stepatech’s flu vaccine is going to make him very rich. Dawson considers using credit cards to finance the film, but Pacey wants Dawson to keep trusting him. Joey discusses her final with Eddie, complaining about the obscure questions Hetson asked. Fortunately, she knew the answers, so she thinks she aced it. Eddie rewards her with a backpack containing a booklet about traveling Europe for cheap. That’s his plan for their summer together.

David meets Jack at Hell’s Kitchen but isn’t happy to see him talking to a male classmate. He accuses Jack of leading him on, then announces that they’re over. Jack notes that he wouldn’t have asked to meet David if he didn’t want to work things out. David says Jack’s just going through the motions, which isn’t enough for him. Jack is thoroughly confused, as he should be, though maybe he should’ve seen this coming after David’s weird behavior in the last episode.

Joey and Eddie start planning their trip, and she tries to get them to stick to practical ideas. He doesn’t care for being practical if it means they get to spend the whole summer together. They’re already pretty broke, so it doesn’t matter how much money they spend. Joey points out that this romantic idea he has won’t be as romantic as he believes; their lives will still be here when they get back. Now she thinks they should wait a month or two to make some money first. Eddie interprets this as her changing her mind about going.

Joey says she’s throwing her life “off-course,” but he just wants her to take a chance and spend some time with him. She reminds him that the books they’re read about trips and adventures aren’t meant to be guidelines they should live their lives by. Eddie says they’re meant to encourage people to step into the world, where their lives begin. He wants an adventure to change his life. Joey asks if that means she has to stop being who she is. He tells her she’s a scared little kid who’s afraid to take chances, but that shouldn’t define her as a person. She tells him to sleep somewhere else tonight.

At work the next morning, Pacey learns that the FDA didn’t approve the vaccine. Rich doesn’t think it’s a big deal, but Pacey’s been touting Stepatech for months and is going to have a lot of unhappy clients. Rich thinks the clients have only themselves to blame. Joey meets with Hetson to declare her major in English; he gives her back her final with an A- on it. She’ll have a C+ for the year (the class was a year long?), which pleases her.

They discuss Catch-22, which Hetson sees as a man choosing life over a bleak existence. He has Joey read a passage about Yossarian saying he’s not running from his responsibilities, he’s running to them: “There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life.” Hetson says that a lot of critics find that part too sentimental, as if Joseph Heller wanted to put a moral in an amoral tale. But Hetson likes it, because right now the writers are letting him show a sentimental piece of his unsentimental character.

Joey announces that she needs to go somewhere, but they can finish their discussion next semester. Hetson yelps that he’s not going to let her into any more of his classes (does he really have the option?). She tells him she’d never take another class with him, but she does want him to be her advisor, mostly so she can keep torturing him. He smiles because he totally likes her torturing him, but also because that means he gets to keep torturing her, too.

Pacey shares the FDA news with Sadia, as well as the fact that he’s now lost all of Dawson’s money. She doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Then she wants to ask him some questions on the record. Pacey won’t go for it. Sadia can’t be with him that night since she’ll be with her boyfriend – who’s now her fiancé. She tells Pacey that they have a long-distance relationship and it’s kind of boring. He decides to make her deal with the boredom by breaking up with her.

Jack goes back to the helpline, this time to see Jen, who makes her first appearance in the episode with eight minutes to go. He asks if she thinks he only went out with David to prove that he could be in a relationship. He’s worried about still being alone when he’s 35, going to bars and trying to pick up guys. Jen notes that right now he’s not even old enough to go to bars, so he shouldn’t worry about not having met the love of his life yet. Jack thinks Jen and C.J. will stick it out because they give him hope.

After dealing with dozens of angry clients, Pacey just has Dawson to address. First he asks Rich for a loan so he can give Dawson back his initial investment. Pacey put all of his own money in Stepatech as well, so he and Dawson are both broke. Rich tells him he’s an idiot, then gives him the answer he should have given Dawson: No. Instead of just dropping it, Pacey keeps fighting, and Rich tells him he hasn’t earned any help. He adds that Pacey is a failure and a loser who will never amount to anything. Pacey attacks him and they have a fight that breaks a bunch of computers. It ends with Pacey getting himself fired, which Rich thinks he wanted all along.

Joey makes Audrey register for summer classes, then tells her she’s decided to go to Europe with Eddie after all. But before she can tell him, she finds a goodbye note he left her saying that he, unlike her, wants to act without worrying about consequences. Maybe people like him (and Pacey, who’s now at the Leerys’) are just doomed to make the same mistakes over and over, but he still hopes for a happy ending. (Hey, Joey, at least he left you a note this time.)

Thoughts: Pacey went from lovable romantic to creepy jerk in two episodes. Goodt hing we can blame Joey directly.

I guess this means no more Hetson. Thank God for Todd Manning on my TV five days a week.

Cheap trip or not, how were Joey and Eddie planning to pay for their summer in Europe? The plane tickets there would have probably wiped them out.

Seriously, Jack, you are better off. David is crazy. If it’s between being alone and being with him, just get some cats and go with it.

Do most schools let you pick your advisor? We were assigned ours.

When Jen has the best outlook on relationships, you know your characters are screwed up.

Summary: Joey tries to study in her room while Eddie tries to distract her, frustrated that they haven’t done anything physical since their reunion. Audrey suddenly arrives, back from rehab a day early. She tries to make Joey and Eddie guess who was on her plane, saying he’s a very sexy celebrity. Joey guesses Brad Pitt; Eddie guesses Ian Ziering. (Hee!) It was actually Dr. Drew, who Eddie isn’t familiar with. Joey and Audrey try to familiarize him with Loveline. Joey says Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla are in town for a fundraiser at the counseling center.

Speaking of Jen, she’s at the health center right now, clearly nervous about hosting the fundraiser. C.J. tells her she could become the next Ryan Seacrest. He wants to have sex after the event, but Jen says she has to help Grams, then announces she’s dumping C.J. Eddie still has sex on the brain, but Joey doesn’t even want to talk about it. It’s not exactly the best time for the conversation anyway, since Audrey’s in the room. After Joey leaves for class, Audrey warns Eddie never to hurt her again.

Jack and David sell tickets to the fundraiser, and a guy named Fred tries to ask David out. Jen’s still freaking out about her hosting duties and wants David to serve as a ringer so at least one person will ask a question. C.J. arrives and Jen tries to avoid him. Then Audrey shows up, looking up for Dr. Drew, and Adam Carolla hits on both her and Jen. Audrey doesn’t care about him; she just wants to know if he’s seen Dr. Drew naked. (Be right back, I have to go throw up forever.)

The auditorium fills up but David’s MIA, so Jack gives his seat to Fred. Eddie and Joey arrive together, and he won’t shut up about their sex life (or lack thereof). David finds Jack and Fred together and chastises Jack for a) not saving a seat and b) not getting one on the other side of the auditorium. Then he makes Fred give up his seat, because David is secretly a jerk, I guess. Jen kicks off the event, apparently not nervous at all anymore, at least until no one has a question.

Audrey tries to save Jen by raising her hand, but Jen won’t call on her. C.J. tries next, but Jen reminds him that he’s supposed to just pass the microphone around to the people asking questions. Dr. Drew and Adam tell him to proceed, so C.J. tells them how his girlfriend seemed to be fine, then suddenly dumped him. Adam tells him to run since the girlfriend is crazy. Jen interrupts to say that C.J.’s problems aren’t as important as those of the attendees who actually paid money to be there.

Eddie tries to have the sex conversation with Joey again, way too loudly for the setting, and of course everyone hears. Adam and Dr. Drew think that if they’re not mature enough to talk about sex, they shouldn’t be having it. Then they bring Eddie and Joey up on stage for further scrutiny. Audrey still wants to be heard, though, and appeals to Jen with a hilarious sad-puppy face. Joey and Eddie recap their relationship, and Adam sides with Joey – Eddie left Joey twice and now can’t seem to understand why she doesn’t trust him.

Dr. Drew tries to focus on Joey, asking if abandonment is an issue for her and what her relationship with her dad is like. (Can open! Worms everywhere!) Joey immediately tries to shut things down. Jen helps Dr. Drew keep her on stage by telling her that people call the helpline all the time with daddy issues: “You’re very normal in your abnormality.” Joey wants to kill her. She gets Jen to turn back to the audience, and David blurts out a question about how he should respond to his boyfriend openly flirting with someone else in front of him.

Dr. Drew tells David and Jack to talk about their relationship; he thinks Jack’s acting out because he has something to tell David but doesn’t know how to say it. Jen suggests that Jack is just really nice to everyone and wasn’t flirting, “because nobody’s that stupid.” Adam thinks David should dump Jack. Jen goes to someone behind a screen for a question, but Audrey takes the girl’s place so she can hit on Dr. Drew.

C.J. speaks up again, asking for a woman’s (specifically Jen’s) perspective on his issue. Jen says they’re done with his problem. Dr. Drew urges her to answer so the audience can see how she answers questions at the helpline. Jen says C.J.’s girlfriend is just confused, and might be dealing with a lot in her life and doesn’t feel like she has time for a relationship. Dr. Drew and Adam realize that Jen is C.J.’s girlfriend and ask her directly why she dumped him. Jen can’t come up with a good reason and asks to go back to Joey: “She’s more screwed up than me.”

Eddie announces that Joey’s father did time in jail. Joey tries to change the subject by asking Jack to come up on stage. Eddie isn’t done, but C.J. points out that at least he still has a girlfriend. Audrey just wants to know what kind of underwear to wear for Dr. Drew. Adam hates everyone. Jen says that if anyone else has a problem, they should call the helpline. She heads backstage, where Audrey accosts her with questions about what it was like to be so close to Dr. Drew. Jen gives her a microphone and tells her to take over.

Audrey gets things moving and offers some of her own experiences as supposedly helpful advice. She still strikes out with Dr. Drew, though. Afterward, Joey and Eddie go to retrieve her but are still fighting. Adam tells Eddie to shut up about sex and just enjoy the fact that Joey wants to be with him. When he was in college, girls didn’t dress as sexily as girls do now. He gets Joey to admit that she wouldn’t be with Eddie if she didn’t trust him.

Joey says that they’ve been living in a fantasy since Eddie came back, and they’ll have to come out of it eventually. He tells her she’ll have to take a leap of faith and know that he loves her. She hurries him to her dorm room before Audrey can find a way back there. Meanwhile, David is still grumpy, but Jack doesn’t think he needs to explain or apologize for anything. David thinks his original instincts about Jack might have been right. Jack tells him to dump him already if that’s where this is going.

For some reason, this offends David, who says he’s not the one who’s looking for a way out of the relationship. He doesn’t want to dump Jack so Jack can leave guilt-free. Jack points out that he doesn’t need to feel guilty because he didn’t do anything wrong. David tells him to apologize or break up with him. Jack only gives a sarcastic “sorry,” so David tells him to take his time and get back to him. Jack is sad and I am confused.

Now Jen’s ready to talk to C.J., but he’s not interested. She pretends to call him on the helpline and tells him she made a mistake but isn’t sure how to fix it. She admits that she has trust issues, and he points out that she has to start trusting people sometime. He assures her that if she tells him her problems, he won’t run away. Jen finally shares that Grams is sick. C.J. comforts her, promising that she can have as many freak-outs as she needs.

Audrey’s still looking for Dr. Drew, but Adam says he’s already left for the airport. Then she tries to find a ride home, but all of her friends have left. Dr. Drew is, in fact, still around, and Audrey tells him that she listened to Loveline while she was in rehab; it made her feel less alone. She’s not sure she could have gotten through rehab without the show. Dr. Drew offers her a ride, and Audrey says she knows she’ll have to keep her distance since he’s married.

Thoughts: Joshua Jackson directed this episode, which is probably why he wasn’t in it. He did great with the scenes where a lot of people were talking and things were moving quickly.

Ugh, Adam Carolla. Get away from me.

No way would everyone in an auditorium full of college students be hesitant to say something about sex.

If I were Jack, I would have gone with the breakup over the apology, because David is nuts.

October 27, 2012

Summary: Pacey and Jack are at an electronics store, drooling over a huge TV. Joey thinks Emma will freak out when they bring it home. She also thinks Pacey should spend his newfound wealth on something more practical. However, she’s proud of him for becoming so successful. He’s a little worried that he’s strayed too far from the person he used to be. Joey says he was always just waiting to realize his potential. Speaking of guys realizing their potential, she’s in need of cheering up now that Eddie’s gone, so she’ll be attending a party at Pacey’s that night.

Jen also disapproves of the large TV, because she’s a girl, and girls just don’t appreciate those sorts of things. But David likes it because he’s a guy, and all guys like big-screen TVs. Jen wonders why Pacey’s having a party after having lived in the apartment for months. She warns that she’ll be bringing C.J., who Pacey last saw when he punched him. Emma comes home and insults the TV, because…well, she’s a girl. The guys are shocked to hear that the guy she’s brought with her, a schlub named Gus, is her fiancé.

Dawson visits Audrey in rehab to deliver some reading materials; she’s already read the Bible. He does not, however, deliver her requested Nyquil. He tells her he’s been living in Todd’s guesthouse and has bad news: Their movie is going straight to cable. Todd probably won’t be directing anything else anytime soon, which means Dawson’s career is at a standstill. Audrey isn’t very sympathetic. Dawson recognizes another rehab patient as Toni Stark, a huge producer. Audrey wants some attention but eventually agrees to help Dawson stalk Toni.

Jen takes C.J. to the party, not telling him who the host is until they’re at the apartment door and it’s too late for him to back out. Joey asks Pacey for “something fruity and mind-numbing” to drink, then chastises him when he gives her a judgmental look. He tells her he’s heard her life hasn’t been great lately, but he’s sure things will start looking up. Joey says she’s always been the reliable one, but she’s going to let other people clean up messes from now on. She adds some more booze to her drink so she can loosen up a little.

Later, Joey talks to David about Jack, letting him in on what Jack was like when they were in high school. Meanwhile, Dawson gets to talk to Toni, who seems pretty taken with him. He strikes out when he tries to talk to her about the movie business. Back at the party, Jen tells David she’s not drinking at the party since C.J.’s sober. He tells her C.J. doesn’t mind when other people drink around him. Pacey assures Jen that he and C.J. have made up, and Pacey even offered him a drink. Jen’s surprised that C.J. didn’t turn it down.

He’s currently talking to a tipsy Joey, who tells him that Jen killed Abby: “Killed her with champagne.” Pacey quickly gets her away from him, taking her to his room. She realizes that all of their friends are working out their relationships, but she’s single again. She thinks the guys she likes always find something or someone better than her. Pacey says she should think of it as her making the guys want to be better men. Joey teases that he’s still not over her, reminding him what Audrey said about them at Christmas. “That must suck,” she says.

There’s some drunken revelry, and Emma and Jack wind up talking about how she’s left school because the band is doing so well. (Even with a screwed-up lead singer? Really?) Gus isn’t in school either, and plans to be the band’s roadie. Jack questions the speed of their engagement. Emma tells him it’s going fast on purpose: Her visa’s for school, and now that she’s not in school anymore, she needs to get married to stay in the country. Oh, and Gus will be moving in and will be allowed to sleep with anyone he wants. Jack tries to escape, but Emma won’t let him leave.

Dawson and Audrey keep up the stalking, with her encouraging him to keep making a fool of himself if it means getting his big break. She gets him to follow Toni into a therapy session. In Boston, Pacey and Jack commiserate over the possibility of having to live with Gus. Jack thinks that if Gus is going to marry someone he doesn’t love, he’s given up hope. Jen questions C.J.’s drinking, which he says he’s only doing to be nice. He doesn’t really appreciate her telling Pacey he abstains. C.J. feels like he’s been too hard on himself, but he hasn’t even had a sip yet. He suspects that Jen is looking for reasons for their relationship to fail.

Audrey tells the therapist and other participants that her name is Pinkie (a ferret bit off her pinkie toe when she was ten, which is why she drinks). She and Dawson are married, have two kids, and may also be cousins. Dawson plays along but gets her to talk about her actual problems. Audrey appreciates that he never judged her and always came back to help her. He tells her he just wanted to wait for her to hit rock bottom. Toni calls them out for their lies, so Dawson takes advantage of the revelation to ask her to look at his reel (which he…brought with him?).

At the party, the kids wind up playing Spin the Bottle, because they’re still 14, apparently. It’s Joey’s idea, but she immediately regrets it when Gus spins and lands on her. She declares a new rule: No tongue. Jen says anything’s fair game, and Joey shouldn’t mess with her because Jen has “killed before.” Instead of a kiss, Gus licks Joey’s cheek. Joey kisses Jack, Jack kisses Emma, Emma kisses Jen, and Jen kisses C.J. for a long, long time. They head off to do more than kissing and Joey tells them they have to come back, since they’re not playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. Jack teases that she just wants to kiss Jen.

Pacey takes over the spinning, landing on Joey. Before he can kiss her, Gus breaks the TV, earning Pacey’s wrath. Emma quickly jumps in to announce that the wedding is off. “Wanna play Sardines?” Joey asks before passing out. At rehab, Audrey admits to Dawson that the therapy session was more helpful than she led on. She also had a great time with him, and appreciated not having to talk about her problems. She tells him to go back to L.A. before he lets himself get too un-self-absorbed. Audrey also admits to being scared of going back to her real life because of the way she left things with everyone.

David teases Jack about his past relationship with Joey and about how he’s been kissing girls all night. He asks to see some of Jack’s artwork. They chat about Emma, and David points out that her problem isn’t Jack’s to solve – unless, of course, he wants to marry her. Jen and C.J. are in the bedroom, post-coitus, and she tells him he’s perfectly able to make decisions about his own life. He just wants to get past all their drama and make Jen happy. Jen was trying to do the same, and she’d rather talk with C.J., sober, than get drunk and make trouble like she used to. But she also doesn’t want to give him a false impression of who she is.

Jack and Emma clean up after the party, and he tells her it would probably be better for her to go back to England than to get into a loveless marriage. He casually remarks that he would be the perfect husband. She jokes that they should get married, but he’s actually serious about it. He notes that they already live together. Emma says she picked Gus because she wouldn’t have to worry about hurting his feelings. She wouldn’t feel right taking advantage of Jack.

Pacey puts Joey in his bed and tells her he’s glad she had a good time. As she falls asleep, he admits that she was right: He never did get over her. Joey says there’s something they never did, then kisses him.

Thoughts: Did they name Toni Stark after Iron Man on purpose?

The word “broad” has been used three times in the last two episodes. Did someone make a bet about how many times he or she could get the word in the script?

Drunk Joey makes me happy.

I swear the writers forgot about Jack being an artist (Joey, too) until this episode.

Summary:Audrey’s finally going to rehab, mostly because Joey’s making her. Audrey thinks she’s being overdramatic about her blackout. She’s also mad that Joey called her parents. The girls joke around, but Joey makes it clear that she cares about Audrey’s well-being. She also wants to know if Audrey hooks up with Ben Affleck in rehab. Audrey thanks her for not giving up on her.

Sometime later, Joey starts to head to class but is held up by a visit from Eddie. He wants to say goodbye, and to admit that she was right when she said he never takes chances. He’s going to California to stay with his sister while he looks into the writer’s workshop Hetson is recommending him for. They hug goodbye, then start to kiss, but are interrupted by a call from Audrey’s mother reporting that she never made it to California.

Dawson directs the reshoots, getting a lot of crap from the director of photography, who should really be more respectful of the guy who’s having such a major effect on his future. Natasha asks Dawson why the scene they’re working on sucks so much. Then he randomly takes a phone call from Gail. Natasha throws another wrench in the works by telling Dawson she won’t be getting naked for the movie.

Grams comes home angry and tells Jen and her still-horrible hair that she and Clifton may have just broken up. He wanted her to convert to Judaism, which she has no interest in doing. Joey and Eddie track down Audrey in a hotel room where she spent the night with a guy named Bob. Bob is currently smoking pot and Audrey is currently asleep in the bathtub.

Joey tells Audrey that Eddie’s on his way to L.A., and he’ll drive the two of them to rehab. Audrey doesn’t want to go, but Joey talks her into a road trip. Her one condition is that Bob comes along. The four of them spend the first few hours of the drive mostly silent, until Joey and Eddie start fighting about how she hasn’t thanked him and he left her in the first place and blah blah blah.

Heather arrives on set to criticize Dawson for running behind and turning in weak work. She reminds him that his work on the reshoots will define the rest of his career. Dawson calls Todd for help but can’t reach him. Natasha overhears and mocks him for looking for rescue. She also questions the exposition he’s written into a scene, since she thinks it can all be dispensed with and condensed into a look. She refuses to do the scene if she has to do the exposition.

During a pit stop, Eddie tells Audrey not to stand on the hood of his car since she may be rich but it’s all he has. She insults him for being poor, then asks Joey who she was talking to on her cell. Joey denies that she made any calls, but Audrey sees that Joey called her mother. She’s mad that her mom didn’t put forth much effort to get her daughter into rehab. She also thinks that for Joey, the road trip is about Eddie, not Audrey.

Joey finally thanks Eddie for putting up with everything during the trip. He tells her it’s more interesting than going on his own. Then Audrey takes off in his car. Meanwhile, Jen and C.J. work a boring shift at the helpline, and she brings up Grams’ breakup. C.J. can sympathize since his widowed Uncle Bill is mopey and lonely. Jen suggests setting the two of them up.

Eddie tries to hitchhike, but Joey’s uncooperative. She seems more upset over having to be with Eddie than she is about Audrey being in trouble. Eddie says Joey can’t help Audrey if she doesn’t want help. Joey accepts this, saying she’s having a hard time letting her friend go. He admires her for being a good friend. Joey wonders what he’s getting out of this. Eddie notes that he gets to spend time with her.

Joey says that Audrey thinks the road trip is about Joey, too. She admits to having trouble letting go of Eddie. She feels like she’s dragging out the inevitable end of things. Eddie tells her he’s never cared about anyone the way he cares about her, but it’s too late. Even though he screwed up, he still loves her. Joey doesn’t get why he would leave her in that case.

On the set, Natasha bugs Dawson some more, then reminds him that directing a real movie is completely different from directing a film with his friends. He needs to show some authority and command respect. Jen and C.J. double date with Grams and Uncle Bill, but it quickly goes downhill when he learns that she’s “one of those religious broads.” They bicker until it looks like Grams is going to cry, but she actually starts laughing.

Dawson finally puts on his big-boy pants, fires the director of photography, and announces to everyone that he’s the director so he’s in charge. He makes sure Natasha knows she needs to stay in line, too. Heather approves, telling Dawson that he has no idea how close he was to getting fired.

Audrey and Bob wind up at a bar, where some guy hits on Audrey and invites her outside to “see his truck.” He actually means have sex with him, and when she declines, things get violent – on Audrey’s part. Joey and Eddie arrive to find Audrey beating the guy up, and when they pull her off of him, she says she thinks it’s time to go to rehab.

The double date ends much better than it started, and C.J. praises Jen for her good idea. She wishes she could be more successful in her own love life. After all, the last guy she liked slept with her friend. C.J. says that if he’d known then what he knows now, he wouldn’t have slept with Audrey – he wouldn’t have wanted to hurt someone as amazing as Jen. He starts to kiss her and she pretends to reject him before kissing him herself.

Dawson wraps for the day and Natasha invites him to get a drink. Meanwhile, the world’s worst road trip finally ends in L.A. Audrey finally apologizes to Eddie for being a jerk, and he admits that she’s not so bad when she’s not being one. Audrey and Joey say goodbye, and Audrey says that Joey needs to let Eddie go. She doesn’t know what to do with Bob, but she plans to tell her parents that they got married in Vegas.

Dawson’s drink with Natasha appears to have turned into a night together, and she suggests getting together to talk in a couple weeks. He tells her it’s not necessary; he always takes relationships too seriously, and now he’s learning to have fun. Natasha’s sure that someday he’ll be a big director and will do her a favor by giving her a role. She’s proud of how Dawson took control on set.

Joey and Eddie walk around the writer’s workshop campus, then start to say goodbye. Eddie decides, however, that instead, they should make plans to meet up in a year, possibly in Paris. In case they don’t make it there, Joey wants him to know that she’ll never forget him. In other words, she loves him, too, and will keep doing so as long as she can. Then there’s, like, a full minute of kissing.

Thoughts: As you can see from the picture, Bob is played by Seth Rogen, who’s reuniting with Busy Philipps, his Freaks and Geeks co-star.

Don’t actresses have nudity clauses in their contracts? And what happened to Dawson’s belief that nudity in movies isn’t necessary – his thing that since Spielberg doesn’t use it, he doesn’t need to either?

Jen wears an orange sweater with a pink elephant on it. So along with the hairstylists, Michelle Williams must have also ticked off the wardrobe department.

I wish Pacey had been in this episode – we haven’t seen his reaction to Audrey’s drinking.

Summary: Joey, Jen (who got a horrible haircut), Pacey, and Jack are hanging out at Hell’s Kitchen when Audrey arrives, seeing them for the first time since Christmas. She apologizes for her behavior over the past few months and for not letting them help her. She tells them about the party she went to in Malibu that she saw Dawson after, and how she finally realized that she’s the problem, not anyone else. Her friends welcome her back happily.

The next day, Joey and Emma ogle the new bartender at Hell’s Kitchen and discuss Eddie. Joey downplays their relationship and Emma buys it. She asks Joey to clean out Eddie’s locker while she heads out to band practice. At work, Rich tells Pacey and his coworkers that Stepatech Industries is about to go through the roof, so they should encourage their clients to buy. He then invites Pacey to a party at the house of Roger Stepavich, the Step of Stepatech. Rich just wants to make sure Pacey’s committed to his job. Pacey promises he is.

Emma and the rest of Hell’s Belles inform Audrey that they’re replacing her as lead singer. They need someone fast since they have a big gig coming up. Audrey understands but promises that she’s giving up her drinking and “general mayhem” because they’ve cost her the life she wanted to have. The Belles agree to give her another chance. Joey cleans out Eddie’s locker and finds a bunch of short stories he submitted for publication that were rejected.

The Belles have a great sound check for their gig, after which Audrey is approached by a guy from another band (Satan’s Tampon, heh) who invites her to a party on a tour bus. Joey helps Harley with her homework, then chats with her about Eddie’s disappearance. Harley encourages her to play detective and find him. Joey mentions finding the manuscript, which had Eddie’s parents’ address in Worcester on it. Harley tells her to at least call and see if he’s there. Joey does, and Eddie himself answers, but Joey panics and hangs up.

At Stepavich’s party, Pacey strikes up a conversation with a woman who claims to know his reputation as an up-and-coming broker. She wonders why he’s not in college if he’s so smart. He tells her he enjoys the adrenaline (and money) involved in his job. She heads off without telling him her name. Hetson goes to Hell’s Kitchen looking for Harley, who he thinks is there with Joey. He’s finally realized that she’s as much of a troublemaker as people keep telling him. Harley then arrives with a guest she picked up in Worcester: Eddie.

Audrey goes to the party on the tour bus, admitting to the guy who invited her that this will be her first sober gig. He offers her a drink, and at first she declines, but she’s nervous enough to change her mind. He also offers her a pill. Back at Hell’s Kitchen, Joey gives Eddie the cold shoulder while Hetson “punishes” Harley by making her have dinner with him. Eddie tells Joey that he came back to help her with the “problem” Harley told him about: Joey’s pregnancy. Joey clears up that Harley lied about that.

Eddie spots his manuscript and guesses that Joey sent Harley after him when she found it. He also knows that she’s the one who called his house and hung up. She blasts him for leaving town without telling her, adding that now that she’s solved the mystery, he can go. She thinks he just wanted an easy out. Eddie tells her it was the hardest thing he’s ever done, then leaves. Joey follows him out, now deciding she wants an answer. He admits that he couldn’t face her because he was ashamed of being unemployed and getting evicted. She may be poor, but she has a future.

Eddie continues that he punched Hetson because he knew Hetson was right about him being a failure. Joey reminds him that his rejection letter said he had promise. Eddie doesn’t think that was sincere. He wants Joey to be with someone better than him – she can have whatever she wants in life. She says she wanted him. Eddie disagrees, saying she wanted the person she thought he was in their English class. Then he leaves for real.

Audrey’s still drinking right up until she takes the stage with Hell’s Belles. Meanwhile, Pacey and his nameless woman do some eye-flirting before Pacey meets Roger Stepavich. He’s surprised to learn that Rich wants him to take over Stepatech’s account. Pacey doesn’t think he’s ready for the promotion but accepts.

Harley apologizes to Joey for getting involved in her and Eddie’s relationship; Joey forgives her but asks her not to make up any more pregnancy stories. She’s mostly upset that Eddie won’t fulfill his potential as a writer. Harley suggests that she show them to Hetson. Joey’s skeptical but does it. Hetson refuses to read the stories, mostly because Eddie hit him. Harley takes the stories with her and promises Joey she’ll try again.

Audrey ruins the Belles’ performance by sucking, stage-diving, having an acid trip, and passing out. Once she’s feeling better, Emma kicks her out of the band and sends her home. Hetson returns to Hell’s Kitchen to retrieve the backpack Harley “forgot”; he’s already read a couple of Eddie’s stories and agrees that he does have some potential. He thinks Eddie could even get into a writing workshop, but he would need Hetson’s recommendation. Hetson himself won’t talk to him, though, so Joey will have to.

As Pacey leaves the party, the nameless woman approaches him again and suggests that he ask himself if his promotion isn’t too good to be true. Audrey heads to her dorm room and starts to drink some more but winds up pouring out the rest of her alcohol. Joey goes to Worcester to give Eddie back his manuscript and tell him about the workshop. He doesn’t think there’s any point since he’s not that great, but Joey wants him to try. He can be a coward about their relationship, but he shouldn’t be a coward about his life.

Joey starts to leave, then changes her mind since she knows that’s what Eddie wants her to do. She reminds him that he once told her to take chances, which is the opposite of what he’s doing now. He’s afraid of living his life. Eddie agrees and kisses her. Joey tells him that’s the wrong answer – it’s too late for them. She starts to leave again, but he pulls her back and tells her he loves her and doesn’t want it to be too late. Joey says she loves him, too, but she leaves anyway. Back at Worthington, she tries to wake Audrey but can’t.

Thoughts: Heh. All the Right Moves is a Tom Cruise movie. Hee hee hee.

The nameless woman is played by Sarah Shahi, who now has her own show on USA, Fairly Legal.

Stepavich is played by Ray Wise, who has been in so many things I can’t even begin to list them. But he may be best known for Twin Peaks, which he was in with Dana Ashbrook (Rich).

Summary: It’s Monday, and principal photography on Todd’s movie has just been completed. Dawson and Natasha make small talk about returning to L.A. She wishes him luck because she thinks he’ll need it. On Tuesday, Joey’s at Hell’s Kitchen, back from winter break, and trying to get in touch with Eddie, who she hasn’t talked to since Christmas. As she leaves, she runs into Harley, who’s now living with Hetson full-time.

Pacey’s at an aquarium at his lunch hour, and Emma’s also there, being artistic. Meanwhile, C.J.’s training Jen so she can be a peer counselor. She’s still ticked about the whole Audrey thing. She decides she can’t handle it, and he tells her to make the decision based on herself, not him. Elsewhere, Jack and David get blood tests.

Todd and Dawson have a meeting with a studio rep who brands the movie “unwatchable.” He orders Todd to do reshoots. Todd makes it clear that he isn’t happy about it. Dawson ducks out of the room and calls Todd’s phone so he can tell him privately to stop talking before he makes things worse. Instead, Todd tells the studio reps (including Heather Tracy) that he has to go deal with another idiot in the hallway.

Dawson lectures him, reminding him that they need the studio’s money to make the movie. If Todd pushes too much, they’ll hire a new director for the reshoots. Dawson knows they both want to make the movie as good as it can be. Back in the meeting, the studio head says Heather is backing Todd, so obviously there’s a chance that he can succeed. Now they just need Todd’s decision. He rants about the guy being critical and announces that he’s not doing the reshoots.

Wednesday. After a class, Hetson notices that Joey’s one of his students again and notes that the D he gave her didn’t get her tossed out after all. She tells him she ran into Harley at Hell’s Kitchen during a school day. He thinks she’s criticizing him for not paying enough attention to his daughter. Hetson proposes that they agree to stay out of each other’s lives.

Pacey and Emma hang out at the aquarium, and she explains her love of the place by telling him about the fish tanks her family had when she was growing up. She encourages him to spend the rest of the afternoon there with her. He gives in and calls in “sick” to Rich. C.J. trains Jen some more, this time with help from David, who ditched Jack to play peacemaker. Jen tries to change the subject by asking if Jack and David are officially dating yet.

Dawson meets with Heather and the studio rep, who think Todd will be joining them to agree to the reshoots after all. Dawson tells them Todd doesn’t even know he’s there. Heather guesses he called the meeting to smooth things over in Todd’s place. Dawson knows Todd can work out the movie’s problems without reshoots, and for free. Instead, Heather suggests that Dawson do the reshoots.

Dawson protests, but the rep tells Heather to call his agent. (He doesn’t have one, so the rep says to call Dawson’s mother and get her to sign a permission slip. Heh.) Dawson continues to protest, but Heather advises him to get on board for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. She even hits him where it hurts, pointing out that he’d be fulfilling his dreams.

Thursday. In L.A., Audrey and Jack Osbourne are on a beach after some party, talking about how she’s broke but totally not on drugs. Dawson’s there and Audrey tells Jack not to say anything to him about substances she may or may not be under the influence of. She’s surprised that Dawson came when she called him, considering she recently drove a car into his house. She confides that her parents don’t know she’s not at school, or about anything else that’s happened.

Back in Boston, Joey tries to reach Eddie again; she’s now freaking out because he won’t get in touch with her. Jack and David try to come up with comforting things to say to her. After she leaves, though, they agree that Eddie probably won’t call back. Jack admits that he hooked up with a few guys over the summer who he never heard from again. Now things are a little awkward. Harley’s back at Hell’s Kitchen, but Joey makes her leave.

Pacey still doesn’t get Emma’s love for the aquarium, since she’s been there every day that week. Emma wants to know why he’s changed his entire life. He says it’s part of growing up; as a teenager, he was always chasing after things (read: girls) he could never have. Emma doesn’t think teenage Pacey sounds so bad. He admits that he’s been thinking about reverting to his past self, so she challenges him to come back the next day in a Hawaiian shirt.

Jen starts working with actual helpline callers, but it doesn’t go well. C.J. calls her high-strung. Joey takes Harley to Eddie’s building, quickly realizing that Harley is basically the high school version of her. (She even asks if Harley lost her virginity to “a trucker named Bubba,” as she told Jen she did in the pilot.) They go up to Eddie’s apartment, but he’s moved out.

Friday! Pacey goes to work in one of his hideous Hawaiian shirts, earning some well-deserved teasing from Rich. Unfortunately, he won’t be able to take a lunch break, since he’ll have to make up the work he didn’t do while he was “sick.” Pacey notes that he’s the best of all of Rich’s employees. Rich responds by giving him his W-2. Poor Emma’s on her own for the afternoon.

Jen’s bored at the helpline since the phones aren’t ringing. She won’t let C.J. leave to get coffee since she knows she can’t handle a call on her own. He notes that this is quite a change from earlier in the week, when she couldn’t stand being alone with him. As soon as C.J. leaves, Jen gets a call and gives helping someone a shot.

Jack and David get their tests results and are both healthy. David assures Jack that he doesn’t see him any differently after hearing about his summer activities. Jack shows his relief by kissing him. Hetson calls on Joey in class, hoping to bug her, but she actually interprets a story correctly. It’s about how there are cycles in life that happen over and over.

After class, Hetson gives Joey $50 for looking after Harley the day before. Harley told him that Joey helped her out with a crisis. Joey doesn’t know why he’s being nice to her. Hetson reminds her of what she said about it not being about him. They negotiate a deal for Joey to spend three days a week with Harley. Then she gives Hetson back his $50, calling the previous day a freebie.

Dawson tracks down Todd on a beach and learns that the studio rep apologized to him after Dawson turned them down for the reshoots. He’s in favor of Dawson directing. Todd adds that this doesn’t mean Dawson’s more talented than he is. Dawson agrees, saying Todd’s his mentor. Todd just wants one thing: a picture of Natasha’s face when she finds out Dawson’s her new director.

Thoughts: No way would a studio hire someone with zero experience to do anything other than fetch coffee.

Pacey’s cell phone with the little antenna cracks me up.

So why did Audrey call Dawson? I thought maybe she and Jack needed a ride, but Jack leaves without her. It was a totally random scene.

Thank you, Emma, for trying to get Pacey to shave. I’m disappointed he put on a Hawaiian shirt instead.

Summary: Joey voices over some lame story about how happy she is while she and Eddie wander around downtown and talk about their likes and dislikes. She notes that they have nothing in common. He doesn’t care since the sex is awesome. Joey asks him to come to Capeside with her for Christmas, immediately realizing she’s jumped over a few relationship steps. But she still wants him to come and help her convince Bessie to get a real tree. Eddie also thinks they might be moving too quickly.

Later, as Joey packs for break, Audrey returns to the room, having missed her flight home. Joey knocks her for drinking in the airport lounge, commenting that Audrey could spend next semester in rehab. Audrey can’t get another flight until the next day (which happens to be Christmas), so Joey invites her to come to Capeside. Everyone will be at the Leerys’, which Joey predicts will be disastrous. Audrey doesn’t want to be a charity case or go back to boring Capeside. Joey won’t take no for an answer, winning Audrey over with the offer of getting to meet her father.

Pacey makes a surprise visit to Doug’s house and presents him with both gifts and gay jokes. Todd and Natasha are at Gail’s with Dawson, and Gail is very curious as to where Dawson and Natasha’s relationship is going. Dawson himself doesn’t know, noting that this is the first relationship he’s been in that he couldn’t define or predict. In other news, Todd wants to sleep with Gail. Also, Lily is suddenly blonde, but no one else is concerned, so I won’t be either.

Everyone does Christmas Eve things, and then Alexander wakes Joey up early on Christmas morning. Before they can open presents, Mike tells Joey that she has a visitor – it’s Eddie, and he’s brought a tree. Later, a tipsy Audrey tells Mike that Eddie is a combination of Dawson and Pacey’s best qualities, making him “the T-1000 of love interests.” Then she asks for stories about Mike’s time in prison.

Joey teases Eddie about changing his mind about coming to Capeside, then goes in to help Bessie in the kitchen. This is mostly so Mike can have a man-to-man talk with his daughter’s boyfriend. Eddie has to admit that he’s uneducated and unemployed, so maybe he has more than just Pacey and Dawson’s good qualities.

Speaking of Dawson, he’s wistful about Joey but stuck with Natasha, who wants to have sex in his childhood bedroom. He’d rather talk about Max Winter. Specifically, he wants to talk about how she told him she’d spend the evening alone, but wound up entertaining Max instead. Dawson wants to know where their relationship is going. Natasha says they’re just having fun.

Dawson notes that she was pretty jealous of Joey, which doesn’t fit with “just having fun.” She accuses him of bringing her home for Christmas to show her off. She warns that one day he’ll regret not having sex with her in his childhood room when he had the chance. But that’s what he gets for thinking with his brain instead of parts more southern.

Eddie and the Potters head to the Leerys’, Eddie trying to assure Joey that he won’t be getting into anything with Dawson. They agree to get through dinner and then go spend time with Eddie’s family. He promises that his family is less intimidating than hers, leading Joey to ask if Mike was rude. (She should probably be more concerned over whether he tried to recruit Eddie to sell drugs with him, knowing Mike’s past.)

Pacey and Doug arrive next, discussing the expensive presents Pacey got for their family. Doug’s worried that his brother’s new job isn’t completely legit. Pacey says Doug could just be proud of him for once. He thinks Doug’s jealous of his new wealth. Doug says he’s just worried. Before dinner, Audrey takes some pills from the medicine cabinet and shows up blitzed as Jen and Grams arrive (Jack’s in Europe with Andie and Mr. McPhee).

Todd (also drunk) says grace, refining his British accent to make a good impression on his fellow dinner guests. He finds Jen familiar and she reminds him that they met on a plane. (She assures everyone that they didn’t sleep together.) “Where was I?” he wonders. “Oh, yes, the birth of Christ.” He thanks God for Gail, then sings Dawson’s praises, declaring his love for him.

Todd continues that Dawson’s gotten himself involved in a sexual relationship with Natasha; this reminds Todd of his first movie, when he slept with an underage girl. Dawson finally gets Todd to shut up. Mike also praises Dawson, then asks Todd if he could find Eddie a job. Joey tells her father to shut up. Audrey asks Mike why he doesn’t think Eddie’s good enough for Joey. “This isn’t going to end well,” Pacey remarks.

Audrey isn’t happy about Pacey butting in, and Jen gets yelled at as well when she tries to get Audrey to quiet down. Jen says she thinks Audrey has a problem. Audrey asks if Jen’s still upset that she slept with C.J. She admits to being high, so Gail tries to get her to go lie down. Audrey would rather stay and blast everyone for being hypocrites.

For starters, Dawson and Pacey still hate each other and should stop trying to pretend they’ll ever fix things. Joey and Dawson keep acting like they’re okay with the other’s new relationships, but the truth is that they finally slept together but never dealt with it. They need to deal with everything before they can really move on. Audrey blasts Pacey for never being able to commit because Joey (“Audrey Hepburn”) broke his heart, telling him to grow up.

Audrey wishes the “scumsuckers” a Merry Christmas, grabs some keys, and leaves. Despite the fact that she’s clearly under the influence, no one even attempts to stop her as she gets in Pacey’s new BMW and promptly crashes it into the house. (And I mean she drives it right into the living room.) “I kind of think I zagged when I should have zigged,” she says.

Outside Pacey begs Doug not to arrest Audrey; he wants to try to help her on his own. Doug thinks it would be better for Audrey to get in trouble. Pacey pleads with him to “make it go away” and blame Pacey for what happened. Doug remarks that Pacey has made himself over but is still the same person, looking for a quick fix. He warns that Audrey’s now free to drink and drive again. Doug continues that he was proud of Pacey when he was a chef because there was something honest and noble about it. “Guess it didn’t suit you, did it?” he asks.

Jen offers to call Audrey’s parents, but Audrey is adamantly against that idea. Jen asks why she’s so angry. Audrey taunts that Jen can stop trying to impress C.J. “Pretend that I’m too far gone,” she says. She’s tired of people saying they want to help because it took them until tonight to realize how far gone she is.

Dawson catches Natasha trying to sneak out, and she admits that she slept with Max. Again, she thought she and Dawson were just having sex and having fun. She didn’t think they would make it long after the movie wrapped anyway. Dawson realizes he doesn’t love her either, which Natasha already knew. She thinks they’re both too young for such a serious relationship. She heads back to L.A., advising Dawson to check on Todd, who’s passed out in the bathroom.

Eddie’s also on his way out, but he doesn’t want Joey to come with him anymore. He thinks she needs to stay in Capeside and deal with everything that happened at dinner. He knows Mike has a point in not thinking Eddie’s the best guy for Joey. Eddie wants to stay in the present, not deal with issues from past relationships. Joey promises that they’ll do that from now on. He says that if she met his family, they’d wonder why she’s with him, too. They’d think she’ll wind up breaking his heart.

Joey and Dawson end up together by the water, much more lighthearted about the evening’s events than they should be. She admits that she keeps trying to forget that they were ever close. They both think the evening put things into perspective. Joey knows that Dawson will always be there for her if she needs him, but she can’t figure out why they keep hurting each other.

Dawson notes that they’re not hurting each other right now. Joey says it’s just a truce – an illusion. But she’ll take it, if it means she can temporarily forget what happened to get them where they are. They can go back to hating each other in the morning. Dawson agrees, but both of them admit that they don’t really hate each other.

Thoughts: Alexander is adorable. And he calls Joey “Auntie Joey,” which makes him even cuter.

So suddenly the Potters are all one big, happy family? Why didn’t we get to see Joey and Mike work through their issues? I feel cheated.

Who invited Doug to the Leerys’? It’s not like he’s friends with Gail or anything. And I’m sure he and Mike were thrilled to have to hang out together.

In Todd’s defense, Gail does look very pretty in this episode.

So Audrey’s drunk and high, but when she leaves, no one goes after her or at least makes sure she doesn’t drive. Scumsuckers indeed.

How disappointing that Bessie, Grams, and Bodie are all in this episode but don’t get to say or do anything.

This was that period in No Doubt history when Gwen didn’t wear a lot of clothes

Summary: Dawson, Jen, Jack, and David are at Hell’s Kitchen, discussing Pacey and Audrey’s breakup and Audrey and Joey’s fight. Dawson has to go back to work, but first he hands out a bunch of tickets to see No Doubt. On his way out, he runs into Joey and they make awkward small talk. She doesn’t want him to feel like he has to ditch their friends because the two of them can’t spend time together.

The next day, Joey talks to Eddie about the concert, where she wants them to have their first date. He’s not sure how driving an hour to Worcester and hanging out with her friends constitutes a date. He’d also like an assurance that there will be kissing. Joey offers to help pay for gas at least. Dawson asks Todd to wrap early for the weekend; Todd has already guessed that he wants to take Natasha to the concert. He hands over his own tickets and backstage passes.

Jen tries to convince Audrey to come to the concert as they buy No Doubt CDs (if they’re such big fans, shouldn’t they already have the album)? Audrey’s more concerned with seeing Joey again than seeing Pacey again. She wonders if Joey’s ever made a mistake in her life. Jen says she made the same mistake Audrey did, dumping Pacey. The girls then run into C.J., and Jen offers him a concert ticket, assuring him it’s not a date.

After Jen walks away, C.J. asks Audrey if she’s ever going to call him back. She’s not interested in talking to him, but she does give the exposition that they slept together after he talked to her on the street. She doesn’t want anyone to know, especially Jen. Joey and Eddie arrive at the concert, but she doesn’t have the tickets. They decide to head back to Worthington to get them, even though it’ll take a long time.

Dawson and Natasha hold up the line by making out, then learn that their tickets are for the next night. Natasha thinks their backstage passes will be all they need. Jen and Pacey discuss Jack and David’s relationship, which she thinks will be long-term. She sends Pacey off to their seats, warning that there will be someone there who wants to talk to him. He’s not really pleased but goes to see Audrey anyway. She’s also willing to talk to him.

Eddie tries to get him and Joey into the concert through the back door, asking a security guy if they can talk to someone who works there. It doesn’t go well. Eddie spots people coming and wants to talk to them, but Joey pulls him away. The approaching people are Dawson and Natasha, the latter of whom wants to use her hotness to get in. She may be more successful than Eddie was.

Eddie and Joey hide behind some equipment, and Eddie recognizes Dawson from the movie set. He wonders why Joey doesn’t want Dawson to see them. Natasha and Dawson go inside, and Eddie sees that the door’s still open and rushes in with Joey. They sneak past security guards while they’re busy telling Natasha that she’s not on the list of people with backstage access. Dawson and Natasha wind up getting kicked out.

Jen tells C.J. about Audrey and Pacey; C.J.’s surprised to learn that Audrey was involved with anyone. Jen notes that she and C.J. end up alone a lot for two people who aren’t dating. He wants to make sure she doesn’t think he’s giving the wrong impression, since he thought he made it clear he didn’t want to date anyone. Then he admits that he’s interested in someone else.

Jen figures out that he slept with this someone else. She’s not happy about his flexible moral code. C.J. tries to pull the “you’re a great girl but…” routine, saying that he really admires how much of a friend she is to Audrey. Jen finally realizes that Audrey’s the girl C.J. slept with. She’s so upset that she doesn’t stick around to hear his explanation.

Audrey and Pacey are getting along much better, and she’s taking the blame for the destruction of their relationship. They start goofing around, then spot a mopey Jen, who asks to speak to Audrey alone. She tells Audrey she knows about her and C.J. but doesn’t want to discuss it. Audrey thinks she deserves to be yelled at. Jen admits that she’s been going easy on Audrey lately because she thought Audrey was messed up. She’s not – she’s just sad.

The concert starts, which means I can hit fast-forward! (In a nutshell: No Doubt does “Hella Good” and Jen, Jack, David, and Emma enjoy themselves.) Meanwhile, Eddie and Joey wander around under the arena, which Eddie claims to know his way around. He also finds someone who can get them in: his father.

Out in the parking lot, Natasha realizes that Dawson fixed a crew pool so he could get the concert tickets. They make out on a car and get interrupted by a police officer who questions why Dawson’s holding several hundred dollars. Natasha jokes that he was paying for her services. The joke backfires and they get taken to the police station.

No Doubt does “Underneath It All” and I hit fast-forward again! C.J. tries to talk to Audrey again, asking why she didn’t tell him about Pacey. He admits that he likes her and she’s the only reason he came to the concert. Audrey thinks he’s just infatuated because she was the first person he slept with in a long time. She adds that she basically only slept with him because she was lonely and he was there.

Pacey finds the two of them and senses that something’s going on. C.J. tells Pacey things would be fine if he took better care of his girlfriend. Audrey begs C.J. to leave, but C.J. tells her she would obviously be happier with him than with Pacey. Pacey takes a swing and the two of them end up rolling on the ground together.

No Doubt does some song I don’t know while Joey and Eddie enjoy the show from a catwalk. He’s proud of some improvements his father has made in his life, but doesn’t like that his father doesn’t support his college dreams. Eddie thinks things are meaningless unless they happen at the right time.

Outside, Emma blasts Pacey for getting them kicked out and attacking C.J. Pacey thinks C.J. took advantage of Audrey, an idea Emma thinks is ridiculous. She wants Pacey to admit that he feels hurt and still wants to save Audrey. Jen tends to C.J.’s injuries while he wonders if she’s going to yell at him. She says C.J. and Audrey are both adults, so she can’t really make any judgments. She adds that if she ever decided to start helping people, like C.J. does, she’d be better at it than he is.

David and Jack make arrangements for the former to take Audrey home while the latter waits around for Jen. David jokes that if two guys go on a date but leave separately with girls, they’re not doing it right. Natasha and Dawson get off with a warning, and though Dawson’s disappointed that their plans fell through, Natasha had a great time. Todd arrives to take them home; they think he’s mad that they got in trouble, but he’s really just annoyed that they woke up him.

Eddie walks Joey to her dorm and asks about her dad. (No, Eddie! Don’t poke the bear!) She gives him the short version (thank God), adding that at least he was encouraging, telling her she could be whatever she wanted to be. Not that she knows what that is. They make out and he leaves, and it’s kind of a weird ending.

Thoughts: I really don’t think Eddie listens to No Doubt. Actually, I don’t think half of these kids listen to No Doubt.

If Joey and Audrey haven’t talked since their fight, does that mean one of them has been sleeping somewhere else? I wish there had been more of a mention of that.

The security guys are either dumb, blind, or horrible at their jobs, because Joey and Eddie sneak in ten feet away from them and don’t get caught. And it’s not like they’re stealthy or wearing camo or anything. Joey’s wearing a bright red coat!

When did Jen and Audrey become such good friends? I know they’ve hung out a few times, but suddenly they’re practically BFFs.

Eddie wears the same kind of orange vest Marty McFly wore in Back to the Future. I’m disappointed that no one makes a joke about it.