The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, August 21, 1913, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

APOUF. I AM HOLOIKQ OYR YOUR,TZ?. vcrT'rr? DINK HARD,VOT 1 IT fMISUNDERSTOODA Frenchman, arrived in Englandand began the. struggle with the language. One day he came with hisconversation book to an Englishfriend."Ze Polar bear vat does he do?""What's that?" said the puzzledfriend."Ze Polar bear vat does he do?""Ohr he don't do a single thing butsit on the ice and eat fish.""Non, non! I not accep'.""Why's that?""I been Invite to be Polar bear ata funeral."o o"Now, my friends," said the candidate, making another effort toarouse enthusiasm in his hearers,"what do we need in order to carrythis constituency by the biggest majority In its history?" The responsewas immediate and enthusiastic"Another candidate!" yelled theaudience as one man.DIDN'T BUY BOOKS'The agent for a handsomely-Illus-tratedbook to be sold on the creditsystem a feast to the intellect andan ornament to any library leantagainst the side of the house, caughthis breath, clenched his fist, and look"ed skywards.'What's the matter?" asked thepoliceman."I've met the meanest man," beanswered. "I've beard of him, andI've read about him In the papers,but I never expected to meet himface to face.""How do you know he was the?meanest man?""By the way he acted. I showedhim this work of art, lectured ou itfor half an hour, showed the engravings, and when I hinted that It would,be a good thing to order, what dor.you think he said?""i don't know.""He said he never bought books.He didn't have to. He Just waited forsome idiot of an agent to come alongand tell him all that was in 'em, andturn over the leaves while he lookedat the pictures."PA FLED, TOO"I say, pa.""Well?""I thought you said if a boy wouldalways mind his parents he wouldn'tget into trouble.Tes, my boy, I did say bo, and Ihope you will always bear it in mind.Give heed to what your parents tellyou to do, and what they tell you notto do, and you will live to be a goodman. Never disobey your parents.and harm cannot reach you. Theboy who always does as his fathertells him need never fear that evilwill overtake him, and ""But, pa, here's a poem about aboy that stood on a burnin' deck because his pa told him not to go. Justread it, and then tell me some moreabout harm never comin' to boys thatalways do what their parents saythey have to,"1