“We just have to make sure you’re not a terrorist. Actually, you know who else has to go through that type of check to their money? Nobody.”

As the host noted, you can get money for social security, medicare, and farm subsidies without being checked against the watch list. But these cancer-ridden national heroes? Yeah, they might be terrorists.

You know who else gets cash without having to succumb to a terrorist background check? Bankers. Bad bankers.

“Did you start the financial crisis? Because if you did, here’s your fucking money,” Stewart said.