Monday, April 26, 2010

Calling the Bank

On Friday, right at the beginning of the day with my lovely, lovely little demons first graders, I checked my online banking statement and saw that someone had charged $800 to my account. I know it was not me because I was not in an arcade in NYC on Tuesday. Duh.

Anyway, I panicked, seeing as how I WAS ROBBED and I immediately realized I was in charge of children, and I needed to stay calm. So I said, very calmly, "Okay boys and girls, I need you to do something very important. I need you to BE QUIET because I have to make an important phone call to the bank. PLEASE be quiet, or you will not get a popsicle or oxygen art time or anything." (beg & threaten, that's how I roll).

So I called the bank as they read quietly and I explained the situation over the phone. But reading didn't stop them from listening intently. I saw their eyes widen when I repeated "$800." And when I verified my full name, a few turned to each other like they had just been privy to some TOP SECRET information. When I got off the phone, a little girl said "Miss, your real name is Teresa?" I said "Yes."

OMG CLASSIFIED INFO. ALERT THE TABLOIDS.

She looked like she was about to run out to the playground and shout "I KNOW MISS P's REAL NAME!!!" Because when you're 6, all your teachers' names are Miss or Mrs. And they all live in their classrooms and sleep under their desks and eat apples. She was so pleased to discover this about me. I don't think if my name was Beetlejuice she'd have been more surprised.