Summary: ‘Flowers, for me?’ House spoke, battering his eyelashes up at Wilson. I do declare, Doctor Wilson, you are my hero!’

A/N: I apologise in advance if I have butchered these characters in any way, but in my defence the thought of writing this fic was just too good to pass up ;)

*(miss)Quote from ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’.

- - -

Flowers, for me?

House looked up with comical surprise and a steadily raising eyebrow as Wilson walked into his office with a bouquet of flowers, silently setting them down before House with a rather smarmy looking smile on his face.

House feigned a smile, leaning back in his chair and clasping his hands together. “Flowers, for me?” He spoke, his voice high-pitched with a rather botched attempt at a deep southern accent.

“Why I do declare, Doctor Wilson, you are my hero!” House battered his eyelashes up at Wilson who merely rolled his eyes over towards the ducklings who were watching with amusement, their brainstorming forgotten for the moment as they watched the interaction.

“The gay jokes aside, House, the day Wilson actually seriously brings you flowers to show his affection is the day I’ll do your clinic hours and give you fifty bucks.”

House’s eyebrows all but climbed into his hairline as he grinned outright at Foreman’s words before turning to Wilson, “Flowers are only twelve dollars from the gift shop, Wilson, please feel free to show me your love.”

Wilson shook his head with a laugh. “I’m not buying you flowers, House.”

House pouted at him. “Why not? Don’t you love me anymore?”

Wilson could only smile in response. “And what do I get out of it?”

“The fulfilling knowledge that you’ve made me a very happy doctor?” House tried, knowing that Wilson would never cheat Foreman out of his money and into House’s clinic hours with such pathetic reasoning. One look at Wilson’s face told him that though Wilson found this scenario very amusing unless House was able to seriously tempt him, there was no way he’d be getting out of the clinic.

“Okay, that’s a stupid reason.” He agreed without further prompting. “How about I let you borrow my ex-girlfriend instead? She’s all about the giving.” House smiled brightly at the green-look that passed over Wilson’s face.

“House, you are one disturbing man.” Wilson muttered pressing the fingers of his left hand into his eyes as if in the vein effort to block out the mental images House’s suggestion had created. He waved offhandedly at his friend as he turned and made to leave the room.

“I’ll snog you if you bring me flowers.” House called after him. It was only the hint of seriousness behind his words that paused Wilson in his tracks, turning to face House sceptically.

“If I bring you flowers, you’ll snog me?” Wilson repeated slowly. House nodded, smiling with satisfaction. “Why would I bring you flowers with the prospect of that?”

House pressed his hand to his brow, “You wound me, Wilson. I know you’d love to snog me, I’m just giving you an excuse.” He winked suggestively.

“Yeah right,” Chase scoffed. “If Wilson brings you flowers knowing you’ll snog him, I’ll do both of your clinic hours. For a week.” He finished with a smug smile.

“I’ll take that bet!” Cameron jumped in before House could so much as blink his comprehension of Chase’s words.

House shot her a leering look, “Knew you’d be all into the hot man on man action, Cameron. You’re just trying to make the offer all the more tempting aren’t you? You little pervert.”

Cameron flushed pink- a colour Wilson was sure he could feel suffusing his own cheeks-, her mouth opening in defence but speaking no words of denial.

House turned back to Wilson. “What say you, Wilson?” House asked. “Bring me some flowers and not only do I win fifty bucks and get out of clinic hours for-,” He paused a moment, “for two weeks and a day,” He smiled fondly at the very thought. “But you get a snog from me and two weeks off clinic duty! Could anything be better than that?”

Wilson rubbed at the back of his neck, aware of everyone’s attention being focused solely on himself. “I don’t mind doing the clinic,” He eventually muttered, flinching slightly at the incredulous looks he received. “Then again, it is a rather tempting offer.”

He caught House’s eye and couldn’t help grinning at the pleading face he’d put on.

“Do I have some form of time constraint for this?” He asked with a sigh, watching as House’s grin became rather manic.

“Within the week.” Foreman replied, clearing his throat but not appearing too worried about his end of the bet. Wilson didn’t blame him. He didn’t even seriously expect to follow through on this. Though it really was a tempting offer.

Oh yes, ducklings. Not only will you lose the bet, you shall also have front row seats to some hot H/W smut in House's fishbowl office. Which had better be happening in the next installment. *insert empty threat*

This gave me such a smile. :) I just watched "Poison" today...well okay, not the entire episode. Basically just where Wilson reads off "The Healer with His Magic Powers" poem. But anyway: This story was very cute, very witty, and YES, please continue it.

"Flowers are only twelve dollars from the gift shop, Wilson, please feel free to show me your love."

Ha-hah, that was *such* a spot-on House line I practically heard him say it in my head. And Cam "taking that bet"--hilarious.

Hate to break it to you, Foreman, but (*hint hint if this is continued*) you are about to lose some money. ;)

Oh thank you! Reading your review, and indeed all the wonderful comments I've recieved so far, have put a rather large smile on my face. I love that bit in 'Poison' with the poem; it's so cute the way Wilson is always hanging around in that episode, and when he reads that poem out you just know he wants to write his own bad poetry for House! haha.

I've had some practice writing snarky/sarcastic characters in some of my other fandoms, but you can never really be sure if you've got a characters voice right until someone comments on the fact- so thank you, I'm pleased you could hear House saying his lines in this.

I've not actually read any fics with Cameron being a perv in terms of House/Wilson, though I'll certainly be sure to look out for them now that you mention there may be some out there! And were we in her position I'm sure we'd have orchestrated the whole set-up just to see the two of them get it on ;) haha.

I must admit that I blinked when I read that first statement, took me a split second to realise you had followed that on with the 'yeah, right', lol. As if anyone would be rooting for the ducklings in this situation!

Thank you, I'd not intended for this to be humour... actually I hadn't intended for this to be a two part fic so much as I just wanted an excuse for House and Wilson to start making out with each other! ...and yes, even the lovely Chase gets a good line ;)

Oh, you so better continue!! I want more. This looks very promising. I wanna see Chase get both Wilson's and House's clinic hours and Cameron wish she hadn't taken the action. Bring it on!! *smiles shyly "I'll be good now"*

I think having to do both their clinic hours would be worth it just to see House and Wilson snog. Of course I'm a rather biased fangirl, so my opinion probably isn't all that valid- lmao. Then again, as the author... ::goes for the innocent look::

Oh please don't do that! I'll get the next part up as soon as- don't want you messing all over the place now, heh. I promise some tasty House/Wilson next part if you manage to hold on long enough for me to get it up. Thanks for reading, mi'dear!