Boozy April Fool’s round-up 2017

While almost every news item that has popped up over the past few months has seemed like an elaborate ruse put together by bored copywriters, 1 April is the day where there is some vague excuse to actually make up a story or two. Here’s 2017’s crop:

The Whisky Exchange‘s is obviously best, as I helped write it. Time for alcohol-free spirits thanks to a new patented and licensable reactor techonology: LASER. We could have spent more time on the name, I admit – Clean Spirits.

Stone went straight to the toilet with their FB post – “It just reeks of deliciousness. And you’ll be aromatically reminded of your good choice on every visit to the bathroom. We are flushed with excitement about this one.”

In the end, it’s Westlandwho have taken the crown, with their new whiskey – BoldSmooth. I will never look at the number four the same way again. Mr Hoffman should be in the movies. He is the reincarnation of Orson Welles.