Wednesday, February 13, 2008

I'm chewing tobacco, let's make out.

I'm chewing tobacco, let's make out.

I think that there are really only two things this blog is supposed to do:

1. Galvanize people.2. Share dangerous ideas.

Now by galvanize, I am of course referring to the definition “To arouse to awareness or action.” That is what I ultimately hope that the words on this blog are able to do. Don’t get me wrong, galvanize can mean “to coat with rust-resistant zinc” and occasionally I hope I’m able to also accomplish that. But what about dangerous ideas? What is that about?

For me, it’s about saying the kind of things you might not hear in most churches. It’s about rolling up your sleeves and being honest about the scrapbook of scars you’ve collected on your arms from foolish decisions in the past. And sometimes it’s about making fun of advertising.

A few weeks ago I wrote about the whisky ad that said, “Your mom wasn’t your dad’s first.” Tonight in the March edition of Men’s Journal, I saw a chewing tobacco ad focused on sex. I know, I know lady readers, nothing is quite so hot as a guy with a muddy clump of snuff in his lower lip constantly spitting a bubbly residue into a bottle. It’s hot and I can see the attraction. I’ve included the actual ad but in case you can’t read the text, I’ll write that too. Here’s what the ad, written like an interview with a guy playing pool with a hot girl, says:

Dipping vs. Smoking?Dipping

Why?Better for my sex life.

What do you mean?While some are outside smoking, I’m inside working.

There are at least 3 things this makes me think.

I was an idiot when I was single but I really hope I never said to my friends, “Watch out, it’s time for me to start working.”

The phrase “sex life” is really interesting. It’s like we’ve interwoven those two words so tightly together that it’s easy to think that sex = life. And it doesn’t.

Is there any product on the planet that won’t sidle up to sex to sell itself? I mean really, if we can do snuff, could we do oatmeal? Or pencil erasers or maybe cat litter in a sexy manner?

All that to say, don’t let the world be your final voice when it comes to sex or love or really anything for that matter. They want you to think that chewing tobacco will get you a girl, clogging a toilet could lead to an affair and your dad’s sex life is reason to get drunk.

5 comments:

You forgot the most important thing the world declares (mistakenly so) in the media: you will be the most ignorant and lame individual if you are a straight, white, family man...and of course. never as smart as a woman.