For Esmé – Righteous Woman

Hello Our Basement ,

I hate confrontation — probably more than anything. Unfortunately, I find it is an unavoidable and increasingly important part of being a woman who stands up for herself. When faced with it, I find I over analyze, over-think, and work too hard to justify my feelings of discontent — full of a fear that I will be labeled too much of something: too confident, too opinionated, too naive, too demanding, a bitch. I’m struck by how much less men seem filled with those same fears in return.

Since studying psychology at Queen’s University, I have always been fascinated by psych studies – especially as they relate to women. I love exploring the scientific basis to an abstract feeling… The resulting relief and comfort in the discovery that I’m not crazy and my experiences are part of a larger and very real picture. My forthcoming LP, Righteous Woman, is a feminist awakening and excavation of the voices within. As I worked to uncover my own internalized misogyny and to interrogate the things I repress and overthink, I simultaneously researched. I read studies about the effects of self-objectification and catcalling, the cultural bias towards female anger, what creates a gender based confidence gap and more. I wanted to explore the themes of trying to be a modern, progressive, open-minded woman, and all the challenges that come along with that, especially that of confronting one’s own privilege. I found the exploration at times painful and isolating — realizing how much people prefer the comfort of the status quo.

Righteous Woman drops on May 25, but I’m so excited to share it’s first single with you today. “Doubtmouth” moves through the doubt that chokes us, and the labels that shrink us, to find a voice and body that refuses to be quieted.

I’ve worked in four, different, all male teams for different jobs, and have many times felt exhausted from the tiptoeing that felt necessary in order to be heard. I repeatedly found that if I spoke the same way the men on my team spoke, I would be treated negatively for being “too confident,” “too outspoken,” or “too combative” – despite these precise traits landing me those positions in the first place. I have experienced being labeled as an “angry woman” first hand, and I am a very level headed person who hates confrontation. Again, I dove into psych studies and found the results disturbing. In a blind test, when men and women promote the exact same opinion assertively to a group (word for word), subjects overwhelmingly shift their opinions to agree with the man when he speaks, and are more likely to push back and oppose the same view from a woman. It was a relief to discover this wasn’t in my head, but it was also incredibly frustrating — if the bias runs that deep in both men and women, how do we overcome it?

Thanks so much for listening. I’m so looking forward to sharing more new music with you this year – to help you confront yourself, the systems that shape us, and feel less alone.

I’m glad Esme reached out! I really liked her new single, and am looking forward to the album in May.

GarfieldUK
February 28, 2018 at 06:05

Any time you want your weather back Canada just let us know

Benoit from Ottawa
February 28, 2018 at 06:14

Have you heard (read) about the North Pole area? Above zero it was yesterday, or maybe the day before.

Climate change? What climate change?

Benoit from Ottawa
February 28, 2018 at 06:19

I can’t post on Facebook, it seems; the input box goes grey after the first stroke, or even before, now. Anyone else? Is it the system, or my machine? (I’ve reset FB many times, same thing, but haven’t restarted the ‘puter.)

Benoit from Ottawa
February 28, 2018 at 06:20

I was gonna bitch on the FB that Canada doesn’t have a KEXP, and that it’s a damned shame. CBC, for chrissakes…