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Emotionally Abusive Relationship - How to Break the Cycle of Emotional Abuse

Have you ever noticed how emotional abusers dive in with such gusto seeking that element of vulnerability within you? And once found, they appear to revel in what looks to be like a personal conquest.

For all practical matters it is a personal win for the emotional abuser. This very vulnerability of yours is used over and over and over again to keep you in your place during a moment of relationship combat.

Impotence Longing Omnipotence

At the core of using your perceived weakness to leverage the power and control in the relationship is the emotional abuser's "impotence longing omnipotence." This is a term that implies that they use your vulnerability to offset their own.

You may believe that they exude confidence, but what you see is a masked vulnerability and lack of self-regard. Reaching for your liability gives the emotional abuser a way to avoid experiencing his/her own inwardly felt deficiency.

In working with couples in all walks of life from various cultures worldwide, I have discovered a key concept that helps emotional abusers interrupt their automatic emotionally abusive habits. The term is Genshai . . . pronounced, "Gen Shy."

GenShai is an ancient Hindi word that means "You should never treat yourself or another person in a manner that makes one feel small."

This practice, while introduced as something that the abuser does toward the abused, will always start from home. That is in the way he/she treats him/herself. You see, the way we treat ourselves reflects the way we likely treat others. We see the world as we see ourselves.

Bringing the subtleties of this way of being with oneself and with others into awareness and practice opens doors for emotional abusers. It gives them a disciplined regimen in self-respect and the respect toward one's partner.

When a former emotional abuser can come to honor that in you which they honor in themselves, a relationship of new dimensions evolves. He/she no longer needs to diminish you in order to feel good relative to you. The power and control tactics characterizing intimate partner abuse are recognized as impediments to harmony, well-being and open communication.

If you and your partner are stuck in habits of emotional abuse, seek to break this cycle through the disciplined practice of Genshai. Both of you will cherish the way it changes your relationship and every other relationship in your lives.