Well, Well

Certainly not me-not a year ago. Last year on my birthday, as were were leaving town the next day, we went to brunch. As I was never a morning drinker, I had juice and a couple of Cappucinos. BUT, that night as my SO was getting ready for the trip, I sat on the sofa, watching TV drinking a bottle of Sancere. It was my birthday, right? The thing is, I pretty much sat on the sofa, watching TV and drank a bottle of something pretty much every night for years. Well, except when I lived in Mexico, I sat on my balcony and looked at the Caribbean and drank a bottle of something. And, while I always made an effort not to be hungover on my birthday, nothing was “written” about the day after. It’s funny the guidelines and rules we make up for ourselves in order to give ourselves some kind of false sense of being in control..

I read a quote the other day that said, “Self abuse give us the biggest of illusion of being in control.”Boy, is that the truth! I’m finding more and more that in reality, we all have to give up control to be in control. If you know what I mean.

I was thinking earlier of how I don’t feel any different than at 20 or 30 or 40 or OMG! 50! Shit 60! But, I do feel different. Because I don’t have any chemicals or poison in my system. Well, I do have some incredible Italian Dark Roast running through right now. But, no alcohol or residuals. So I think that I do feel better-better than I have in years!

Happy birthday! I read a quote once from an 80 something year old woman who said “One of the great secrets of life is that every old woman feels like she is the same little girl she’s always been.” Isn’t that true? I always feel so much younger/less mature than other people my age. I wonder if it’s the long delay of maturity via alcohol or if we are all just older looking youngsters. ; )

Love it! I was trying to think if I felt any different than at 30-40-50 and I don’t . Except for being sober. I think some people are always young at heart and some people aren’t. I have a close family member who is 85- and she is so young! She’s on point with fashion, design, food and always up for things even though she’s slowing down. My mom was always “old”. She kind of evened out in her 70’s-80’s. I will say my 85 year young friend is a drinker- everyday around 4:30-5 it’s G&T time! You may be on to something!

Happy Belated Birthday! I love the paragraph with the quote. So true!! Great reminder about letting go of control. After just spending vacation with my 94 year old grandmother who walked on the beach by herself for an hour every other day, wouldn’t stop cleaning up the kitchen and wanted to go on every grocery run, my perspective of aging is sooo distorted…in a good way….and, yes, I can hope that it is hereditary! Heck, 60 is a young pup in all of our eyes!!

About Me

I am a 60 plus year old (how is that even possible?!) woman who has had a dysfunctional (is there any other kind?) love affair with alcohol for many years. I am educated, well traveled, and ran a very stressful business for many years. Alcohol was with me every step of the way.
The bottle has now been emptied and I have taken the leap into sobriety.
This is my account of trying to come out from under the influence.
Please feel free to contact me at:
freefallingsober@gmail.com

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