Finalist: Best Female Football Blog 2014 (partnered with Huffington Post)

Friday, 24 January 2014

Little Earthquakes

Queens Park Rangers 2 Huddersfield 1

I am a huge Tori Amos fan. And so is the rest of my family.
Although I must say my obsession with her calmed down somewhat after my teenage
years and early twenties. We fell in love with her music when she released her
first album Little Earthquakes. With a brother who was soon to come out, young
parents in their late thirties, and myself an angsty-ish teenager interested in
making music she was one of the artists that bonded us. A strange choice you
might say- her songs were angst-ridden, sad and sometimes painful. But her
music was all the better for all the crap that was going on in her life. Many
years later in the early noughties she came to London for a concert at the
Hammersmith Apollo. I jumped at the chance of buying tickets for all four of us
as a Christmas present. We were sorely disappointed. She had no band. It was
just Tori and the piano. And it was just Tori singing songs we didn't know, and
Tori acting very normal and boring. She had just found her ‘partner-for life’
and had a little girl with him. I remember walking out of the venue thinking
how disappointing it had all been, and my Dad said to me ‘She is so boring now
that she is happy. It was much better when she was f***ed up’. I think there
was some truth in that. She didn't release too many (in my opinion) interesting
albums after that- at least for me nothing quite as powerful as the early releases.

Recently, there’s been a lot of talk about the flat atmosphere
at Loftus Road. It’s a fact that this season it hasn't been that loud fortress
we know it can be. Some people are blaming it on the style of play, others are
blaming it on fans who expect too much from the team. I certainly do not have
the answer but I can understand the psychology of it. I think back to the last
two seasons, and in particular the first season back in the Prem (11/12). I’ll
be honest, there was nothing more exciting than beating those big teams at
home: Arsenal, Spurs, Liverpool…Chelsea. We cracked them all and the excitement
was so intense we made a huge amount of noise…and we had the bruises on our
legs to prove it. Although last season was much more traumatic we didn't
complain about the atmosphere quite so much because the excitement generated
from the volatility of our situation overcame all other feelings. And it was a
terrible masochistic pleasure.

However, I will never call last season anything other than
traumatic. As you know, I do not ache for the Premier League (other than the
opportunity of wall to wall coverage and the fact that Niko might stay with us
if we go up). This season, we've been winning which itself is wonderful, but
has also made that post-match beer all the more pleasurable. In addition, I am
able to focus my blogging efforts on a range of topics other than why we have
such horrible players that don’t care about us at all. While I would absolutely
love it to be as loud at Loftus Road as it can be, or as it is when we
sometimes travel away, I’ll take the atmosphere now over any of our two seasons
in the Prem – and yes, even over beating Chelsea.

Maybe it’s the fact I’m getting a little older (yes, yes I
know I’m not that old), but having lived through plenty of personal traumas at
such a young age, there is nothing I like more than peace and tranquillity
nowadays. Maybe it’s boring but I’m happier for it. And a little like Tori Amos
maybe I have found myself and care less what people think.

But wait a minute, am I saying that QPR aren’t playing
creatively enough to get me excited? I think not. And I challenge anyone who
tells me we don’t show glimpses of a wonderful style of football with players
like Philips, Kranjcar, Simpson...I truly believe these players are also
learning about the Championship and this is a journey for them all. So far it might look boring but they are
delivering and doing their job. Recent results where we have been winning by
larger margins also suggest that we’re getting a bit better and having more
fun.

So what of Tori Amos? Well her hubby is actually from the
UK, and she lives here with her teenage daughter. And last year she wrote and
produced a musical called The Light Princess which showed at the National
Theatre. It received mixed reviews although most were good apart from one from
the Daily Fail’s (which in my opinion is a good thing). The whole family watched
it together. It was a totally unique experience, and whilst labelled a ‘musical’
it didn't have any of the hallmarks of a musical: catchy tunes, funny gags,
corny story-line. The story itself was based on an old fairy tale about a girl
who took the death of her mother so lightly that she floated in the air all the
time. She falls in love with a boy who was so down about the death of his that
he was always so dark and sad. It was modified for a feminist and modern
audience and sprinkled with Tori magic of sweeping orchestration and piercing
vocals. And it was rich in staging: sparkly lights, a flying princess, floaty seas
and skies. Tori was inspired by not just her childhood but also by her own
teenage daughter.

And we loved it. In all her happiness and stability, Tori
was still able to create something magnificent which still divided opinion
amongst critics. Perhaps she will never again create something like Little
Earthquakes. But stability didn't stop her from creating something special. And
nor should it stop us fans from feeling like we can’t sing, or even from
feeling guilty for not! I’ll admit Dad walked away from the musical purse
lipped and slightly ‘weirded out’ by the whole thing. I think he didn’t like it
quite as much as the rest of us.

As for me, I'm all for people doing things differently and
positively, especially female role models. Loftus Road will no doubt bring us
many Little Earthquakes in the future. But we might be surprised one day when
it gives us something completely, and uniquely different.

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