Chronicling the MKMMA Journey

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I’m experiencing a crushing feeling, and not in the sense of “I’m crushing it.” More in the sense of “it’s crushing me.” First, I’m going to hit the good stuff, and maybe the “crushing” stuff will go away.

Week 20 expands upon the Week 1, paragraph 24 statement, “All agree that there is but one Principle or Consciousness pervading the entire Universe, occupying all space, and being essentially the same in kind at every point of its presence. It is all powerful, all wisdom and always present. All thoughts and things are within Itself. It is all in all.” I wrote in the margin beside this paragraph, “God is in me.”

Back in Week 20, let’s look at Paragraph 8. “When you begin to perceive that the essence of the Universal is within yourself — is you — you begin to do things; you begin to feel your power; it is the fuel which fires the imagination; which lights the torch of inspiration; which gives vitality to thought; which enables you to connect with all the invisible forces of the Universe. It is this power which will enable you to plan fearlessly, to execute masterfully.”

Paragraph 9 goes on to say, “But perception will come only in the Silence; this seems to be the condition required for all great purposes. You are a visualizing entity. Imagination is your workshop. It is here that your ideal is to be visualized.”

Paragraph 28 advises us of the power of thought. “Every time you think you start a train of causation which will create a condition in strict accordance with the quality of the thought which originated it. Thought which is in harmony with the Universal Mind will result in corresponding conditions. Thought which is destructive or discordant will produce corresponding results. You may use thought constructively or destructively, but the immutable law will not allow you to plant a thought of one kind and reap the fruit of another. You are free to use this marvelous creative power as you will, but you must take the consequences.”

And there’s the rub. I repeat the thought I want to grow, yet half the time I say the thought, even managing enthusiasm sometimes, the opposite of that thought pushes it’s way back into my mind. I keep trying to push it out, but it keeps coming back. I’d hoped to eradicate it by now.

Which brings us to Paragraph 29. “This is the danger from what is called Will Power…the fundamental principle of creative power is in the Universal, and therefore the idea of forcing a compliance with our wishes by the power of the individual will is an inverted conception which may appear to succeed for a while but is eventually doomed to failure, because it antagonizes the very power which it is seeking to use.”

Hmm. This could be a problem.

Paragraph 31. “For your exercise this week, go into the Silence and concentrate on the fact that “In him we live and move and have our being” is literally and scientifically exact! That you ARE because He IS, that if He is Omnipresent He must be in you. That if He is all in all you must be in Him! That He is Spirit and you are made in “His image and likeness” and that the only difference between His spirit and your spirit is one of degree, that a part must be the same in kind and quality as the whole. When you can realize this clearly you will have found the secret of the creative power of thought, you will have found the origin of both good and evil, you will have found the secret of the wonderful power of concentration, you will have found the key to the solution of every problem whether physical, financial, or environmental.”

I should draw some conclusions here. I still draw the conclusion “God is in me.” That’s distinctly different from me saying “I am God.” No. “God is in me.” is a very uplifting concept, because if God is in me, He is always with me. It also gives credence to the “your body is a temple” idea, which plays to my True Health personal pivotal need (PPN). If my body is a vessel for The Lord, that’s all the more reason to take care of it, so that supports my need for physical health (besides the fact that physical health just makes life a whole lot easier to participate in). The emotional health aspect is what’s causing me challenges. While I’m expressing that “crushing” feeling from addressing this challenge, I welcome it, because when I find my way through this challenge, life will be better.

My recent concern has been whether I need to abandon my PPN of “Recognition for Creative Expression” for another PPN of “Helping Others.” I don’t want to do this, but I’m being required to devote more time to this to achieve my emotional health. Sorting this out is contributing to the “crushing” sensation, so multiple Sits are in order. It’s not a good place to be in right now, but it will be a good place to HAVE BEEN in, if you know what I mean.