Freedom is madness

I post this rant in the Shamanism section of the forum for good reason...

Sometimes it feels like I live my life with my foot on the breaks, because if I did not keep my foot there I would tumble into the the abyss of complete insanity. Of course this insanity I speak of is really very sane... the insanity aspect is relative, but in an insane world the sane seem insane. We have all heard this phrase before I think.

But even so, perhaps I would still be insane because I find EVERYTHING pathetic. Everything is annoying. Everyone is a fucking moron. This might sound like some asshole who thinks he knows everything, but NO that is not the case at all. Quite the opposite. The most pathetic, annoying and moronic thing with the world right now is the fact that everyone thinks they know shit. Nobody knows fuck all. We are like toddlers adrift in the infinite cosmos of chaos.

The trivial is what rules the world. The sinister and violent acts that are committed daily around the globe are ignored, apart from maybe clicking "like" or something. Social and cultural structures are funny, complete jokes as far as I am concerned. Governments, laws, regulations and religions are completely irrelevant. The fact that some aspects of the world are viewed as powerful is ludicrous considering that they have really no substance, no true physical manifestation (apart from buildings) and no reason to exist. And it seems most people lack balls.

All of the above makes life hard to live, especially when close friends and family also fall for these traps. I am aware, and somewhat skilled, in playing the game... playing along... in order to make it easy to proceed in this joke of life that society (and State) seem to advertise. But I really want to 100 % let go, and just dive into complete madness.

I want to piss where I want. Right in the middle of the bank. I want to lay down in the middle of Town Square and masturbate. I want to smoke weed outside a day care and watch the children play (and maybe join in). I want to be able to slap anyone in a uniform, with the same attitude as you would slap the ass of a donkey to make it move out of the way. I want to say cunt in my prayers when I kneel by the altar in the Church. I want to...

This is madness.

But it would be complete sanity and freedom, because freedom is living free... and I am not saying that I should be free to hurt or vandalise anything... the reason I just think it would be funny to walk into an Apple store with a baseball bat and smash everything is more from the fact that I feel trapped. I want to express the freedom to do what the fuck I want. If I indeed was free to do what I want, then I don't think I would have such an urge.

To have a free mind is great. A free mind can overcome a lot of bullshit, but it does wear you down when that freedom is restricted in the physical realm; a realm that is not real anyway. Perhaps that is why they say ignorance is bliss? LOL.

Nothing has value that can be bought. Nothing is important unless it has value.

Last edited by Awani; 01-27-2018 at 01:07 AM.

Donít let the delusion of reality confuse you regarding the reality of the illusion.

Ignorance is bliss for those who can't handle reality. To put it in a poetic fashion, reality has a very strange and yet beautiful face, and one of her eyes is that of Medusa's. Looking at her straight in the eye could prove destructive for most people, as it will "petrify" your spirit with overwhelming horror and a sense of meaningless void existance.

You are actually free to act out all of these things you said, just be ready to face the consequences.
The thing is, the system is in place to supress people who are too weak to face reality. It keeps them distracted and provides some relief in the sense that "things are going shit because x,y,z did something" and renders the person blind to the fact that its his own behavior that supports and perpetuates this system.

It is very hard to put anything into language for me these days. Looking back at what I wrote, and also reading what you wrote Amon, I sense that I conveyed what I said poorly. Although I have nothing against what you wrote. Those things are all "true".

What I was trying to get at was, and maybe this is too personal to be applicable in a forum setting, the notion that there is indeed a madness. If this is madness because of the way society is or not, I do not know. But it is not the kind of madness that cause harm in the sense of murdering, blood sacrifice or paranoia and so on and so forth.

Rather it is a madness that if it would be released, I am not sure of what would happen. Perhaps it is partly fear as well... because either I do something or I don't, so for me if I would ever allow this madness to run freely I would be lost. Not in a "bad" sense lost... just lost to the world, or to any "obligation" etc.

Hmm... not explaining well... let me try it with an example that maybe people "here" can relate to... if they want to sense the madness I am feeling, and have felt for many years now.

So let me put it like this:

It is pointless to have this forum. I should just delete it. What does it matter? Whatever is written here is only so others can read it. What does it matter if others can read it? Who cares about alchemy, or what other people think of what I write. It is all a joke. The true work, for me, happens elsewhere... it happens within. What good is it to be present at all. Etc etc.

This train of thought can be applied to anything in life/society. It might sound negative, but it is not. Or cynical, but it is not.

It is simply (for me) true. And these kinds of truth appear "mad" to others.

Hope that makes it a bit more clear.

Just ranting...

Donít let the delusion of reality confuse you regarding the reality of the illusion.

It is pointless to have this forum. I should just delete it. What does it matter? Whatever is written here is only so others can read it. What does it matter if others can read it? Who cares about alchemy, or what other people think of what I write. It is all a joke. The true work, for me, happens elsewhere... it happens within. What good is it to be present at all. Etc etc.

" There's nothing really to say " Philosophically

It is simply (for me) true. And these kinds of truth appear "mad" to others.

" Civilisation is a deception " Literally ?

Man is not in his true place. He has been displaced distracted and divided.
its a mad world by design, bread and circuses.

Well it is a paradox as well, which adds to the madness. Things are important and yet meaningless at the same time. And yes it could be a cool episode.

I wasn't thinking of anyone specific, more regarding the general mass that is society as a whole. Society is an entity, a bee-hive that has one mind. Within there might be individuality, but they do move in the same direction more or less.

Everyone falls for these traps, even friends and family. Some are small traps, some big. Nothing is free of contamination that reside within the contaminated realm...

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Everything is a joke makes it easy, except when you have to dedicate yourself to a certain joke because you know that would help you... even though you know it is a joke. It's a loop.

Donít let the delusion of reality confuse you regarding the reality of the illusion.

Everyone has two minds, the individual and the hive mind. That is why a lot of people
don't think they are coerced by the spin doctors, and that is exactly how the spin doctors
like it; we think like individuals and act as though a hive.