Nick's Story

Chapter 10

Jack let us off in the circular driveway in front of Joseph's house. I looked at his nice big house and then looked at my dirty baseball uniform and then looked at Joseph.

Joseph smiled, "Maybe we should go in the back way?"

"Yeah, that would be good. I'm pretty grubby." I admitted.

I followed Joseph around to the back of the big house, past a wide stone terrace on the side and under some huge old oak trees. It was dark but I could see that Joseph lived in a really nice house. At the back was a long screened in porch with a couple of doors inside to the house. One was to the kitchen Joseph said, and the other was what he called a mud room. We went in there and it was like a wide hallway with cabinets and shelves on one side and a washer and dryer on the other.

Joseph told me, "If you'll wait here I will go get you something clean to wear and we can put your uniform in the wash. I'm a little taller than you but you should be able to wear my clothes. How about some sweats? Those will fit anyone."

"Sure, anything is fine."

"I'll be right back", Joseph said. He gave what was almost a little bow, turned quickly and walked out of the mud room. As soon as he was out of sight I could hear his footsteps break into a run and go bounding up some stairs some where. In a very short time I could hear him running back, stop, and then walk into the mud room carrying a neatly folded set of gray sweats and a pair of white boxer shorts and clean white socks.

"I hope these will be all right." he said, trying not to show that he was slightly out of breath.

I always wore briefs and had never worn boxers before but I was in no position to be picky. "These will be great" I looked around, "Where do I change? I'm pretty dirty to put on clean clothes."

Joseph looked a little surprised and rose up on his toes, "Oh, of course, I hadn't thought of that. What was I thinking? Uh, why don't you come upstairs to the shower and change there?"

With that, Joseph took the clothing back from me and led the way through a big family room to a wide carpeted hall with a curved staircase that led upstairs. I took off my shoes and carried them as I followed him, trying not to touch anything. At the top of the staircase was a long wide hall with several doors that led off to bedrooms. Joseph led me through the door at the far end of the hall.

It was more like an apartment then a bedroom. It ran almost the width of the big house. On one side was a big queen sized bed with tables and lamps on each side. On the other side was a sofa and a big cushioned chair with a coffee table and lamps and things, real nice. Next to the door was a very large wooden cabinet with a pair of tall doors. One held a mirror and the other was covered with carvings. There were other neat things in there, book cases, chests, and everything very pretty. The outside wall was covered with glass and when I looked through them I could see that they were doors that opened onto a balcony.

"The bathroom is this way," Joseph said and led me through a doorway next to the sofa. Just inside the entry was a big walk-in closet off to one side, and just beyond that was the bathroom. The bathroom was covered with dazzling white tile and fancy fixtures. There was a long counter with two sinks in it on one side and a stool and another white porcelain thing that kind of looked like a fountain. In one corner was a bathtub the size of a kiddy pool with water jets all around inside. Above it was a pair of shower heads inside a big chrome ring supporting a white shower curtain pushed to one side.

I looked around and all I could think of to say was "Wow!."

Joseph grinned at me and laughed, "It's rather humble but it should suit your needs. I'll just put these here and get you a towel. Soap and shampoo is in the stand next to the tub. Just put your dirty clothes in the hamper there and we will get them washed for you. OK?"

"Suits me." I agreed. I waited a moment and then looked at Joseph who was still standing there."

"Oh! Well, I'll be in the next room, just come out when you are ready." Joseph said, and left quickly.

I looked around the bathroom with amazement. I wondered if Jack had seen this. I couldn't believe he hadn't told me about what a cool place Joseph had. He must have been in here because he lived with them for several months. I wished I could show this to Kevin, he would think it was cool. I closed the door and then stripped off everything and put it in the clothes hamper, being careful not to shake off any loose dirt onto the shiny tile floor. I walked around just looking at all the stuff in there. Cool.

The tub had a lot of levers and knobs on it. For a minute I thought I might have to ask Joseph how to work it but I figured out how to turn on the shower part. The water came out of both shower heads and crossed near the floor of the tub. I adjusted the temperature and stepped in. I figured out that I could move the shower heads around so that one of them was spraying on my front, and the other on my back. I played with them a little and decided that there were probably a lot of interesting things I could do with them if Joseph wasn't waiting for me.

I scrubbed good with lots of soap, and used the shampoo which smelled really nice. When I got through I was white again instead of dirt brown, and my hair was nice and clean instead of pasted to my sweaty head under my ball cap. I turned off the shower and dried off with the towel. It was like a beach towel except real thick and it felt soft and nice. I was springing a boner in spite of myself and hurried to get dressed. I pulled on the boxer shorts. They were crisp and white and had snaps at the top of the fly. I put on the sweat pants and shirt, and pulled on the clean socks. It felt nice, although the boxers were different. I was hanging kind of loose and could feel my pecker swinging from side to side. I kind of liked it but it didn't help my boner go down.

I used the towel to wipe up the water I had spilled on the floor and hung it on the side of the tub to dry. I looked around and decided that I hadn't done too much damage, opened the door, and walked out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam.

"Hello there." Joseph greeted me, propped up on some big pillows on his bed. Except that he had kicked off his shoes, he was still dressed.

"How do I look? I asked, holding out my arms for inspection.

"You look wonderful." Joseph replied with a straight face. "Your hair brightens up those gray sweats." I looked in a wide mirror over the sofa at myself. There were some little recessed lights in the ceiling that lit up my hair and made it look bright orange.

"Yeah, cool" and I turned and looked at Joseph who was kind of staring at me. "So, what's up?"

Joseph took a sharp breath as if thinking of something. "You must be famished. Would you like something to eat?"

I instinctively pressed my hand against my belly, "Oh yeah, that would be great." I smiled at Joseph.

"Well then, follow me." Joseph jumped off the bed and headed out the door. We went down to the kitchen where a small tray was set out covered with sandwiches beside a bowl of chips. A pair of iced glasses stood next to some napkins and several kinds of soda cans were lined up.

"Wow, where did this come from?" I asked with surprise.

"Alice put this out for us. She does everything here. Sit down and help yourself."

"Who's Alice?" I asked as I dug into a sandwich.

"She's the housekeeper." Joseph paused. "It's a big house you see, and my parents are out a lot."

I looked at a wall clock and saw that it was a little after 10:00 PM. "Where are they now?"

"They are out" Joseph said. "At a dinner party I think."

"So who else is here besides us?" I asked.

Alice has a little apartment over the garage so she is here although I expect she is asleep by now."

Joseph took a sandwich and placed it on a napkin with some of the chips from the bowl. "I really enjoyed your ball game tonight."

"I'm glad you did but I hate it that we got beat."

"You lost 4 to 3 but you played well. I thought that one fly ball was going to be a home run, you made some nice double plays, and that last play at first base was brilliant." Joseph said with real enthusiasm.

"Hey, you were watching weren't you? Thanks. We did pretty good. I'll tell you the truth, Acme just out-pitched us."

"Yes. he was very consistent and that's important. But you played very well Nick. I really enjoyed watching you work first base. You were busy all the time. And You run so smoothly, as if it requires no effort. If you don't mind my saying so, you move like a dancer. I can honestly say I was very impressed with your athletic ability. Jack was right about you."

"What did Jack say about me?" I asked.

"He said you were wonderful." Joseph said with a laugh.

I rolled my eyes,. "You are full of something, Joseph." I laughed.

We finished up the sandwiches, or rather I did. I was hungry after the ball game. Before we left the kitchen Joseph took a sheet of paper and wrote a note on it and left it on the table.

"That's for my parents. If I leave them a note letting them know we are fine then Mother won't bother to check on us." Joseph explained. On the way back upstairs he took me to the large room that opened out onto the terrace we passed when we walked around the house on arriving. There were various chairs and tables in the room but it was dominated by a very long black piano. I admired it and he walked over and lifted the cover on the keyboard. "It's a Steinway." He said as if that was all I needed to know.

"I don't know much about pianos but it sure is beautiful. Can you play something?"

"Do you really want to hear me play or are you just being polite?"

"I really want to hear you play up close like this." I insisted.

So Joseph sat down on a padded bench and rubbed his hands for a minute and stretched his fingers and wrists. I thought of the pre-game stretches with our team.

He laid his hands in his lap and looked away for a moment as if trying to think of what he wanted to play. Then he turned back to the keyboard and glanced at me. "You might like this."

He started with a long run up the keys then a series of chords, very rhythmic, very forceful, repeating, his hands spread wide and coming down on the keys all at once. At the recital he had played what I knew was classical music, but this was jazzy, bright and full of syncopation. I found myself rocking back and forth in time with the music, my whole body moving with it.

"That's cool, what is it?" I asked.

"Gershwin, Rhapsody in Blue." Joseph said without looking up.

After a few minutes the piece shifted into a beautiful melody, It sounded like two pianos, one playing the tune and the other boiling counter melody and harmony under and around the melody. I was sitting 6 feet away from the big Steinway and the sound rolling out from under the raised lid was amazing. I could hear everything, the low notes, the high notes, the sound of his fingers striking the keys, the soft tap of the mallets striking the strings inside the case, the little breath noises Joseph made as he extracted this magical sound out of the long black box. I watched Joseph and realized that he was totally into the music. He was playing it for me but at the moment I wasn't present. I saw him playing like this in an empty house and not caring that he was alone.

Finally it began to build faster and faster then paused. He began a final run down the keys, very complicated and fast then he started in the middle and both hands ran in opposite directions until his arms were spread far apart -- some more fireworks and it was over.

Joseph leaned back and blew out his breath. I stood up and began to clap loudly which he thought was funny.

"A small but appreciative audience." he laughed.

I tried to think of something to say but just clapped and looked at him with awe.

After a moment more of my clapping Joseph blushed, stood and turned to me, taking my hands in his to silence them.

"Thank you Nick." He wasn't smiling now. "You really like it, thank you." Then he stepped back. "It's late and I'll wake Alice if I keep on. Besides my parents will be home eventually and they will like to think I am safe in bed. Let's go up, shall we?"

He flipped off the lights as we left the room and I followed him up the stairs and down the long hall to his room. He took long graceful steps. This was the same Joseph I had first net at the recital, not the nervous boy who first led me into his house. It was as if his music had given him confidence, reminded him of who he was.

I followed him into his bedroom, noticing that the sweat pants he had loaned me were too long and that his boxers allowed me to swing from side to side as I walked. The boner was back. Was it Joseph or the music? Or was that the same thing?

When we entered the bedroom, Joseph paused then turned and sat down on the sofa. He crossed his long legs at the knee and put his hands on the cushions on each side of him.

"This makes out into a bed."

"That's cool." I said. I had wondered where I would sleep. Maybe I was hoping it would be in Joseph's bed but that was kind of dumb. Joseph surely couldn't have a clue that I was gay. He would be disappointed if he knew, probably very angry. I remembered Jack telling me that Joseph was a really nice guy. He was probably warning me not to try anything stupid. I sat down in the cushioned chair next to the sofa and crossed my legs under me.

"You really like my music?" Joseph asked, tipping his head to one side a little.

"Oh yeah." I made kind of an apologetic face, "I really don't understand it because I have never heard that kind of music before, but I like it, I really do. It makes me want to know more so I can understand it better. And you -- I can't believe that you can play like that. It's really very cool." I cleared my throat a little, "You're very cool."

Joseph looked pleased but sat very still, only running his fingertips over the upholstery at his side. "And you are very cool too Nick. You are a good athlete. I could never grow tired of watching you move. You really should do dance." He pulled his hands back to his lap. "You know the nicest thing about you Nick? You are so open to things. Everything is new to you and everything is, excites you." and he smiled. "You have good eyes and ears. You take in the world like a sponge and taste it."

I didn't know what to say.

"You are so lucky you know. I watched you with your family tonight and you are very close to them. They love you. I watched you with your team mates, and you are close to them too. You are connected to people in a way I can only dream of."

I felt puzzled. "What do you mean? You have a nice Mom and Dad, sisters, and what about the kids in your quintet? What about the kids in the Youth Symphony? You know them, you have a lot in common with them. Surely some of them are your friends."

Joseph looked away, "Yes, well I know many of them of course, but not really. It's all very casual, very professional. It's different for me Nick. I'm different."

"Well, you are different from me, that's for sure. You know so much stuff. All that music and different instruments. You are so, I don't know, cool isn't the right word, you are so sophisticated I guess is what I want to say. And you live in this wonderful house. Man, I would be embarrassed for you to see where I live. Alice wouldn't want it."

Joseph laughed without smiling, "No, you don't see it. Don't confuse what looks nice with what is really important. You have family, friends, you are free to do so much. You are really lucky Nick."

I had the feeling that Joseph had a lot of things to say that he wasn't saying, and that I didn't understand. "So what makes you so different?"

Joseph looked at me closely then looked away. His eyes were shiny. "I'm just very different from you Nick. I'm different from most guys. I... if you really knew me you might not think much of me."

Joseph looked so sad. "Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

Joseph looked back at me and said very softly, "Because I really like you, and because I wish you were my friend."

"You are, I am, we are friends," I said.

"No," Joseph slowly shook his head and his eyes filled with tears.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"You are just too open, too honest. You see and hear everything, I can't pretend and play games with you." Joseph's voice was shaky.

I was getting very confused and frustrated. "Joseph," I said, "You are about the neatest guy I have ever met. I really would like to be friends with you. I don't understand what you are saying."

Joseph looked at me, looked away, raised his hands then put them back in his lap. "It's so hard to tell you. I want to be truthful with you but if I am, you will go away."

The hair on the back of my neck stood up as I began to see where this might be going. "Just tell me and see what happens."

I watched as tears began to pour down Joseph's cheeks. He held very still and said in a quiet voice, "I'm gay Nick." Then he closed his eyes as if waiting for me to react.

I felt a chill, my neck felt stiff, and I could hear my heart pounding in my head. All I could say was "No shit?"

Joseph had his head down now and his arms were folded across his chest. I could hear him mumble, "I'm sorry."

I could see myself sitting on the floor in the little pump room sobbing while Jack held me. I could remember my cold fear when I realized that Kevin had been watching me as I lay in my bed with my briefs around my knees. I knew how it felt to live with the dread that some one was going to scream out *FAG* at me in front of all my friends, or in front of my parents, my Mom and Dad who loved me and thought I was their good son, finding out about my terrible secrets. I remembered and felt all these things as I looked at Joseph crumpled in anguish on his nice sofa. I felt the hot tears on my own cheeks and was unsure what to do. I remembered what Jack had done when I cried out to him that first time.

Kneeling in front of Joseph I wrapped my arms around him and held him as close as I could over his folded arms. I pulled his face into my shoulder and felt him relax a little.

I put my mouth next to his ear and whispered, "It's OK Joseph.", and then he began to break down and sob. "It's OK. I know and it's OK."

His tears soaked through the front of the sweatshirt and I could feel his hot breath bursting out in gasps as he poured out so much fear and shame and hurt onto my shoulder. He still had his arms folded tight against his chest, but he was leaning against me so hard that I knew if I moved he would tumble forward off the sofa. So I held him up.

It took a long time for Joseph to cry himself out. He was a strong person, reserved, full of self control, and when he let go of his emotions there was a lot cooped up in there. I just held him as Jack had held me, not feeling uncomfortable with his tears and in no hurry to end them. I understood now how Jack had felt when I unloaded on him. It felt pretty good.

Finally, Joseph stopped and caught his breath. He sniffed loudly and it sounded like his nose was stopped up tight. He took a deep breath, held it for a moment, then exhaled through his mouth, pursing his lips and making a whooshing sound. He wrenched himself out of my arms and leaned heavily back against the sofa. His face was wet, his eyes were red and puffy, and his nose was running big time. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his face and blew his nose. I was still kneeling in front of him as he looked closely at me. I sat back on my heels.

"Why are you crying?" Joseph asked, "This is my little drama."

"No, it's not just yours." I whispered.

He stared at me for a minute and knitted his eyebrows together. "What are you saying?"

For the first time Joseph unfolded the arms with which he had held himself so tightly, and put his hands on each side of my face and used his thumbs to wipe the tears from my cheeks.

"My God. You're telling me that you are gay? You can't possibly be gay. You are a jock, a baseball player, a redheaded baseball player. You can't possibly be homosexual."

Now I grinned at him, "Guess again, Sherlock."

Joseph seemed to be having a hard time dealing with this. He looked up at the ceiling and said, "Oh my God, there is a God, and He does answer prayer."

That struck me as funny and I laughed out loud. Joseph looked at me and the tension broke. We were both laughing at the weird humor of it all. I stood up and stretched.

Joseph motioned to the sofa next to him, "Would you sit with me?"

"Sure." I said, and flopped down next to him and slid my head under his arm so that my head was on his shoulder.

Joseph looked a little surprised and then wrapped his arm around me and gave me a hug. "Oh my God." he gasped.

I turned around so I could push my face into his neck and hug him back. I could hear Jack's voice in my ear saying `go slow, go slow'. I felt Joseph sort of melt and I lifted my face to his and kissed him very softly on the cheek. He let out a little moan and shivered. He turned his face to me and I kissed his lips We kissed like this for a few minutes. Joseph shivered even more.

I pulled back a couple of inches and looked at him. He had a very weird expression on his face. "Are you OK?" I asked.

"Yes, yes, but you must understand that I've never done this before."

"What have you done?" I asked.

"Nothing," Joseph said, "Nothing at all - at least not with another person," and he blushed,

I dawned on me that Joseph was totally innocent. "Then how do you know you're gay?"

"Oh I know all right. I can think of nothing else. Girls don't interest me at all."

"You jerk off, right?"

"Like a fiend"

"So what do you think about when you jerk off?"

"Not girls. I visualize strong muscular athletic young guys. I think of doing all sorts of things with them. It embarrasses me to talk about it but it's true." Joseph sighed , "For the past several weeks my fantasies have been filled with a redheaded baseball player."

I couldn't help but grin. "Lately I've been thinking a lot about tall skinny piano players."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

Joseph pursed his lips out and looked thoughtful. "Actually I was thinking that it might be time to get to bed."

"Yeah, me too, I'm pretty tired."

"Well of course, with your game and all."

"So the sofa makes into a bed?"

"Yes, it does. Here I'll show you." and Joseph jumped up, threw the sofa cushions off to one side and pulled a handle in the center of the bottom, pulling out a double bed already made up with sheets and a blanket. "I have some extra pillows."

I had to get up for him to open the bed and quickly positioned myself so that I was pointing up. Clearly the boxers didn't hold me in like my briefs did and the tent was pretty obvious. Joseph took a look and then looked down at himself. I followed his eyes and could see that we shared the same problem.

He took a couple of pillows out of the top of his long closet and tossed them on the sofa, then excused himself and went into the bathroom. After several minutes he returned wearing some striped cotton pajamas.

"Will you be all right to sleep in the sweats?" he asked.

"Sure, but I usually just sleep in my underwear."

"Oh, of course. Actually, so do I but I thought since you were here maybe I.... " He laughed at himself. "I think I'm being rather silly, aren't I."

Joseph smiled. "Yes it's not your typical teenage bedroom is it? This originally was my parent's room. My room was down the hall next to my sister's bedrooms. There are 5 bedrooms upstairs including this one. Mother has problems with her knees and when my sisters were in high school my father had another master bedroom built onto the back. My oldest sister moved in here and after they both left for college I inherited it. Not bad digs for a kid, eh?"

"I share a room with my little brother that's a fourth the size of this one."

"That's Kevin?" Joseph asked. "He is a smart one. It must be nice having a brother"

I started to say something smart about him being a nuisance then thought better of it. "Yeah, Kevin is OK." I looked out through the French doors, "Can you go out there?"

"Oh yes, it's very nice out there at night. It will have cooled off by now." and he opened a pair of glass doors to the stone balcony and I followed him out.

It was after midnight now and the air was balmy in the late August night and filled with the faint sweet scent of flowers. We walked to the stone railing and looked out over the terrace below. The limbs of the big Oaks were still up above us stirring softly in the night breeze and it felt a little like we were in a tree house. There were lights that illuminated the terrace below but the only light on the balcony came from inside the bedroom. We could see out, but we ourselves were hidden from sight.

We stood side by side with our hands on the railing. Joseph slid his hand over and put it on top of mine without looking at me. I turned my hand to hold his and we stood like that for a minute before I turned towards him. When he looked at me I kissed him, and we found ourselves in each others arms. My hands went up his back under his pajama tops and his slid under my sweats. Our tongues met and discussed the position of our teeth. I could feel his erection pressing into my stomach slightly above my own and we tested the feeling of moving them from side to side between us. I brought my hands around to his chest and stomach and examined the front of him. There was more there than was apparent under his clothes and he was slim and tight and solid. He leaned back a little for me to unbutton his pajama tops and let them slip off his arms to the stone floor. When he brought his arms up my sweatshirt came with it and I could feel air cool the sweat that had formed on my body.

Joseph leaned back a little and we looked at each other for the first time. What was skinny under his clothing was lean and firm in the flesh, with broad shoulders and strong arms and shoulders. No wonder that he could drive so much sound out of the piano. His arms extended into long fingers and there were tufts of dark hair fanning out from his armpits. A thin line of dark hair trailed down from his navel to disappear into his pajama bottoms where a thick mound rose up towards his belly.

He put his hands around my waist and ran them up over my stomach and chest, passing them back and forth to feel my little 6 pack and the firm pecs that held out my pink nipples against milk white skin. He traced my face, my nose and lips and eyelids with his fingers, then pushed them into my shock of red hair, grabbing hand fulls of it and pulling gently.

"My God," he sighed, "You have orange hair, and your eyes are green. You are so beautiful."

With his fingers in my hair he pulled my face to his and kissed me again, long and slow and fervently, and I met him full and held him close against me. For the first time our skin touched and was pressed together. I could feel him moving under me, against me, and I gripped his neck and shoulders from behind and ran my hands over his back.

Joseph broke off the kiss and laid his cheek on top of my shoulder. "Oh my God," he sighed. "This is so much more than I imagined." I kissed the side of his neck and traced the long muscle with the tip of my tongue and smelled something very nice like after shave or maybe cologne. He shivered again, and felt limp in my arms.

I slid my hands down the back of his pajama bottoms and felt his ass cheeks. They were very smooth and firm, and when he shifted his weight to his toes they cupped in tightly. He had on boxers and I slid his PJ bottoms down over them, squatting down to pull them to the floor where Joseph stepped out of them and kicked them next to the tops.

Now his cock was arching inside his white boxers just inches from my face. Joseph looked down at me and steadied himself by placing his hands on my shoulders. I reached out and unfastened the top snap on his shorts. They popped open revealing a bush of long dark pubic hair. I passed my fingertips over it, feeling that it was soft and fine. When I undid the other snap, the boxers sprang open and fell away. They had been held up only by his erection which was now free to spring forward and touch my face.

What I saw surprised me. Joseph was circumcised which I had expected, but he was large. If I was 6 inches, he must have been almost 8, and the thickness was in proportion to the length. It was big, and very straight. From the light flowing out from the bedroom, I could see that the skin on the shaft was a little darker than the rest of him and the head was flared around the edge and sort of pink. I brushed the bottom of it across my lips and it smelled nice. Not a sweaty dick smell, but a faint smell of something clean and good, like the cologne I smelled before.

I put my hand under his balls and pulled them forward. They were loose in the mild air, and except for a few long straight hairs, were velvety smooth. I cupped them in my hand and kissed his scrotum in the middle, feeling the egg shaped testicles move under my lips. I looked up at his dick and saw a glistening drop of precum forming at the tip. I glanced up at Joseph and the look on his face told me this was very intense for him. I heard Jack's voice telling me to go slow.

I put my thumb at the base of Joseph's dick and milked out a long stream of clear precum which I licked off with my tongue, letting my lips surround his dick head just for a moment, then I stood up and spread my legs a little. Joseph took the hint and pulled a cushioned chair around and sat on the edge of it so that his face was at my crotch. I could hear him muttering what sounded like a little prayer as he loosened the drawstring on my sweat pants and pulled the top open and slid them down over the boxers. I picked up my feet one at a time and let Joseph pull off the sweats and toss them onto the growing pile of clothing.

My dick lies up flat against my belly when I am very hard so the boxers showed not so much a tent as a long mound extending almost out through the top of the shorts. Joseph pressed the flat of his hand against it and moved from side to side, feeling another boy's hard cock for what I assumed was the first time. He unsnapped the top fastener and the boxers popped open revealing most of my hard dick. He traced it with his finger and then opened the other snap. The boxers had nothing else to hang on to and fell to the floor. My dick didn't move from its position tight against my belly.

Joseph ran his fingers through my orange pubic hair, then put his hand against my naked white dick and moved it up and down, pulling the foreskin with it. He gently took my dick in his fingers and pulled it away from my stomach, and pulled down on the shaft, retracting the foreskin to reveal my purple dick head. "Oh my God," he whispered.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Nothing is the matter, I just never saw a penis that was all there before. It's just beautiful," and he pulled the foreskin up and down several more times watching it roll over the head. Finally he pressed his face into it, breathing deeply. "Oh, you have a smell."

"I'm sorry, I showered."

"No, no, not a bad smell, but your own smell, a Nick smell." Joseph looked up at me very tenderly, "It's a wonderful smell," and we both laughed.

I put my hands under Joseph's arms and lifted him to his feet. "I want you against me," I said, and took him in my arms. We held each other close and kissed for a long time, our hands exploring each others backs and shoulders and butts. The night wind rustled softly in the trees and we could feel the air move over our naked bodies, flowing between us when we parted for a moment, lifting our hair a little. There was a sweet scent in the breeze and we were melted together like one body in two parts. It was very nice.

After awhile we sort of migrated to the bed. I got in and Joseph picked up the clothing from the balcony and closed the doors, then turned out the lights. When he slipped into the big bed we were both naked between the clean white sheets.

"I don't have to sleep on the sofa?" I asked.

"No, not tonight." Joseph whispered. He moved over and lay on his side, slid one arm under my head and put the other on my chest, my arm went around his waist. "You know, this is my first time ever to do anything with anybody."

"How does it feel?" I asked.

He kissed me on top of my shoulder. "It feels right. I have dreamed of being with someone since I realized that I had a sexuality, and I hoped it would be with someone that was really nice." He kissed my shoulder again. "I think my dreams have come true."

I felt a stab of guilt. I thought about Carlos, and Tony. I thought about the man in the red speedos and felt a sense of shame. Joseph was so innocent and sweet, and I was -- well, promiscuous. I sighed and started to say something but Joseph stopped me.

"Don't tell me anything you don't want me to know." he said softly, and kissed my shoulder one more time. "Past and future really don't matter, just the present."

I felt strange and realized that my eyes were filled with tears. I had been forgiven for sins unknown by one who barely knew me. I looked over at Joseph and he smiled and wiped the tears from my cheeks. " I think I love you," I said, "I mean really."

Joseph kissed me on the end of my nose and said, "I think I have a serious thing for redheaded baseball players." And then he kissed me on the lips, and I turned towards him and we began to make love to each other.

It wasn't hot and passionate as much as sweet and tender. There was nothing coarse about Joseph, and I had Jack's voice in my ear. We held each other and kissed for a long time. Our hands found everything and our bodies were pressed close together when both of us finally emptied ourselves onto the other. Joseph cried, and I held him, and he was OK with it, just overcome. We fell asleep in each others arms.

When I opened my eyes, the morning sun was pouring in through the big French doors and Joseph was laying on his side with his head propped up on his hand looking at me. I took a deep breath, stretched, and reached over to run my finger down his chest.

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