As befitting the dignity and diplomacy with which the entire Charlie Sheen vs. Two And A Half Men imbroglio has unfolded thus far, TMZ reports that show creator Chuck Lorre and fellow producers are considering explaining the sudden absence of Sheen's character, Charlie Harper, by having him die violently in the fall premiere. That “tragic death” that could kick off the new season of the CBS sitcom would then allow Ashton Kutcher’s character to purchase Harper’s home and immediately begin pursuing hijinks with Jon Cryer and the half-man, hijinks made all the more hilarious by the looming specter of a recent violent death. Of course, the script isn’t finalized, and those early reports also indicate that the death could come as a result of Harper driving his car off a cliff—an obvious nod to the two times Sheen’s own cars went off the edge of Mulholland Drive four months apart from each other. Mostly this story suggests that the producers are having a lot of fun getting some stuff off their chest right now.

Still, Sheen seems determined to get the last laugh: The same day that this report surfaced on TMZ, RadarOnline posted an “exclusive” story from a Sheen “insider” that insisted the actor had inked a deal with Lionsgate to star in a new sitcom that, like Two And A Half Men, would be based around Sheen’s own persona but would be “raunchier and more outrageous, which is perfect for Charlie!” After positing that the show was at the center of a major bidding war between networks and cable channels—with TBS in the lead—the story then claimed that Sheen would “make more money than ever before!” Unfortunately, despite that convincing deployment of exclamation points, Lionsgate has refused to comment on the story and TBS has denied any discussion with Sheen. But surely they’re just being coy to avoid what happened after RadarOnline’s previous report that Sheen had inked a deal with HBO for Sheen’s Korner, a show that was no doubt preemptively canceled after The Losers panicked upon learning that Sheen planned to tell The Truth.