As a female hobbyist and wife this hurts my heart. I live about 40 minutes from you. Let me know if you would like to temporarily re-home your tank. Most women would love a man that has "at home" hobbies and I hope she knows that.

As a female hobbyist and wife this hurts my heart. I live about 40 minutes from you. Let me know if you would like to temporarily re-home your tank. Most women would love a man that has "at home" hobbies and I hope she knows that.

Just having a man that stays home with her is quite special, I've met plenty of men that don't...

well....
had a heart to heart chat with wife. not going to get into details, but I think we found middle ground.

I will bring the 125 back in and start over with it, but not in the living room. What that other room will be I am not sure yet. Maybe entrance to house or bedroom. That we have not decided, but somewhere it will be in the house, the main reason she does not want it in the living room is because that where we like to entertain and does not want to make that room have the tank.

Also going to setup tank still in the laundry room as q tank. So with that being said should I still go with 40B or should I get 2 20s?

I want to thank everyone for the advise as it made me really think about the situation and how unfair it is. So I think we have found middle ground. I will need to get all new plants which sucks, mostly starting over, but I will make it work with low tech lights.

I'm glad you have been able to compromise. As a woman in this hobby, I cringe every time I see a "my wife put her foot down here" post. Dogfish said just about everything I was thinking.

As to what to have in the laundry room, if they are going to be QT tanks, holding tanks etc., I'd go with two 20s. The reason being, if you have to medicate a batch of fish you bring in, it's much cheaper to dose a 20g than a 40g. Ten gallon tanks are just far to small for QT tanks, I feel.

That aside, there are a number of practical details that bother me in the whole thing: first 125g was gone but now it's back plus 1-2 new tanks - that just not jives with me as I know what it can cost to set up even a small tank... Therefore, either the cost is not the primary issue at hand or it was all about the tank location/upkeep or there is something else is going on. My recommendation is figure that out first before going much farther.

Laundry room: maybe yours is the size of my house. Otherwise, close proximity to detergent, bleach, vapor, fumes, ease of enjoyment, etc seems to me to be another recipe for more unpleasant marital discussions. (Yes, I do have a tank in the master bathroom).

As far as the 125 goes, there are tons of what you can do with it. And both of us know that. If you really wanted to, you can make an amazing scape with just 2-3 types of Java Fern. You can make it into a rock tank with African Cichlids, or bare bottom Discus breeding tank, +1,000s of other things.

Maybe ask your wife what SHE would want it to look like. My wife could care less about my hobbies, but she still does have a 50% say.

Jim - Glad you worked out. Being a veteran of 32 yrs. of domestic compromises I'd offer that you want to tread very lightly on that whole laundry room idea. I'd suggest a metal stand ( I like the PetCo "Brooklyn") a 20L on top a 10 underneath. Find a few plastic storage boxes at the $1 store. I 'd suggest you don't push the footprint of laundry space to hard. I'd also be clear what a Q-Tank is for i.e.. temp holding of fish/plants. That said don't debate from the plan.

While you reached an acceptable compromise (Great) you don't want your wife to feel she made a mistake. Some times the best compromises are not 50-50%. The goal is to have your wife embrace the hobby.

Jim - Glad you worked out. Being a veteran of 32 yrs. of domestic compromises I'd offer that you want to tread very lightly on that whole laundry room idea. I'd suggest a metal stand ( I like the PetCo "Brooklyn") a 20L on top a 10 underneath. Find a few plastic storage boxes at the $1 store. I 'd suggest you don't push the footprint of laundry space to hard. I'd also be clear what a Q-Tank is for i.e.. temp holding of fish/plants. That said don't debate from the plan.

While you reached an acceptable compromise (Great) you don't want your wife to feel she made a mistake. Some times the best compromises are not 50-50%. The goal is to have your wife embrace the hobby.

Glad this worked out for you.

Money is not what caused any of the problems with wife wanting me to get rid of 125. It was the fact that was in the living room, and she does not like it in the living room, says it to loud of if wants to have company over I am always messing around with it. Laundry room still option for QT tank, but your right, I should not go crazy with that, just happy I can bring the 125 back in. The idea of the stand for 20 is not a bad idea at all.

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