throwback

I don’t think of you often in the active sense anymore. I don’t expect to see you when I’m in the next state south. I don’t in my perverse twisted mindset send you a snap only to see if the arrow will turn to opened. I don’t spend much time at your Facebook page, as I’ve pretty much committed to memory most of the content. I can hear your laugh and see your face in my mind, so I don’t seek out videos like before.

I just wish we had made it to the holiday season, to a November or a December. I wish we could have commiserated about food on Thursday. I wish we could joke about Christmas presents and travel plans and wish one another Happy (American) New Year. I didn’t realize that we would not make it this far in the calendar year. That we wouldn’t get to celebrate these standard holidays I take for granted in our separate spaces, connected by our shared interests and our technologies. I didn’t realize May was it, you know? And that is hard. That will be the hardest I think until January rolls around and the year has passed and then I won’t expect any differently because I’ll never have known any differently. I’ve got you at arm’s length now, Richard. I guess this is how it was meant to be. Happy Holidays.