The Heroism of Antoinette Tuff

A lesson in speaking from the heart.

On Tuesday a man opened fire at a Georgia elementary school; he was armed with an AK-47 and five hundred rounds of ammunition. The shooter, Michael Brandon Hill, barricaded himself with school employees in the school’s front office and fired around six shots from inside the school towards the police officers as they approached.

Miraculously, no one was injured, and Hill surrendered. Soon afterwards the recordings of the 911 call between the school book keeper Antoinette Tuff and the emergency operator revealed the mystery of Hill’s surrender. Tuff was in the front office closed in with the gunman; she stayed on the phone for almost 25 minutes with the emergency operator as she tried to convince Michael to put down the gun and simultaneously relay his requests to the police outside the school.

Antoinette told the 911 operator that Hill said he “should have just went to the mental hospital instead of doing this because he is not on his medication. He said he don’t care if he dies, he don’t have nothing to live for.” In the background of the call, Hill can be heard intermittently saying “tell them to stop bothering me” and “tell them to stand down now!” Hill told Tuff that he was on probation, and that he had played the drums for the children at McNair Discovery Learning Center on a school trip before.

But what stands out in the recordings of the 911 call is the depth of Tuff’s empathy (and courage!) even when she is facing a man with a gun pointed at her: “Don’t feel bad, baby. My husband just left me after 33 years. I’ve got a son that’s mentally disabled. We all got something in life.”

“Okay,” she said, “they can come in now. He needs to go to the hospital. He’s laying on the floor. He’s got everything out of his pockets. Everything is sitting here on the counter, so all we need to do is they can just come in, and I’ll buzz them in.

“I’m proud of you, it’s a good thing you are giving up. No, Michael, we’re not going to hate you. You’re doing a great job. It’s going to be alright. But I just want you to know that I love you. We all go through something in life. I thought the same thing as you. I tried to commit suicide after my husband left me. But look at me now, I’m alright. I’m working and everything. Everything’s going to be alright. Guess what Michael? My last name was Hill too. My mom was a Hill.”

She spoke to him like he was her own son. The depth of what Tuff revealed about her own past in that moment of crisis moves us not only because it took a tremendous amount of courage and compassion, but also because it became very clear to anyone listening to the 911 recording that Tuff could not have spoken to Hill that way without years of her own pain. The patience that she must have had to work on tirelessly every day to raise a mentally disabled child. The raw heartbreak of saying good bye after 33 years of marriage. The struggle that she must have gone through to re-discover her own will to live.

The real miracle was that Tuff was the one sitting in that front office when Hill burst into the school. Not many people, regardless of how much they have been through, would have been able to sincerely relate to a sick teenager with an AK-47 pointed at them in such a calm, loving way. It takes a special kind of humility to be able to do that.

It reminds me of Rabbi Aryeh Levine of Jerusalem who used to visit the Jewish prisoners and the leprosy patients when the British were occupying Israel. He would bring food and letters to the prisoners. He would cry with them and pray with them. He would sit by the bedside of patients who were closed off from the rest of the world. He would tell them that everything was going to be okay. That they were still loved; that their lives were still precious. I could never understand how Rabbi Levin did this. Why was he interested in sitting with the imprisoned and the dying? Why did that become his life work? This 911 call finally gave me an answer. Rabbi Levine had an amazing ability to speak from his heart. He wasn’t just empathetic; he truly felt each person’s pain as if it was his own pain. He had the courage and the humility to speak to others in a way that most of us can only admire from afar.

But yesterday in this school in Georgia, a book keeper named Antoinette Tuff showed us that we can all learn to speak from our hearts. We can all try to feel another person’s pain. We all have something in life, and we can help each other get through almost anything if we have the courage to say: I’ve been there too. Your pain is mine. Everything’s going to be alright.

About the Author

Sara Debbie Gutfreund received her BA in English from the University of Pennsylvania and her MA in Family Therapy from the University of North Texas. She has taught parenting classes and self-development seminars and provided adolescent counseling. She writes extensively for many online publications and in published anthologies of Jewish women's writing. She and her husband spent 14 wonderful years raising their five children in Israel, and now live in Blue Ridge Estates in Waterbury, Connecticut, where Sara Debbie enjoys skiing and running in her free time.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 23

(20)
Esther,
August 29, 2013 10:21 PM

She said G'd helped her

While the school system tries to take G'd out of the schools and suddenly tragedies like shooters arise. Antoniette said in the interview "it was G'd who helped me" She brought back G'd in to the school.
When are we going to get it

(19)
Anonymous,
August 29, 2013 7:34 AM

Whoo! Thanks, I needed that.

I am also a sort of 'wounded warrior'.

I am a mental patient (stabilized with medication),

and I work with similar people to show them, that there IS hope and that they CAN do what they want, and get through anything if they really try, and believe, and pray.

But, what I do is NOTHING compared to this woman's actions.

I've been having a hard time with my illnes recently (despite the medication), and I REALLY needed to hear this. ESPECIALLY the week before Rosh HaShanna.

Thanks to the Aish staff for sharing it, and

I truly ENVY this woman's place in Heaven.

For all my work, and good deeds, and whatever, I suspect that I will not be able to SEE her place from the Brilliance of it.

(18)
Elie Shadian,
August 29, 2013 3:28 AM

And it all came to this...

I have no doubt that the pain and troubles she went through her life was to prepare her for this moment in her life. Because of this, she was able to save everyone's life at the school.

anon,
August 30, 2013 4:11 PM

Fantastic Observation!

People ask: Why did so and so have to suffer so much. And here is 1 answer

(17)
Steve Hosken,
August 28, 2013 4:37 PM

Praise Ha Shem she was the reight person at the right time able to make a difference.

Her situation is shortly no doubt going to improve.

(16)
Mary,
August 27, 2013 11:37 PM

Lesson to be learned

She is to be commended for her courage and strenght in facing this situation and her compassion in reflecting the love of G-d to this manwho had such great need in his life. Her willingness to reveal her own pain and her heart are to emulated.

(15)
Anonymous,
August 27, 2013 10:54 PM

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!

We need someone like this woman in EVERY school- and EVERYWHERE large groups of people come together! She did what nobody has either had a chance to do..or were too scared to do! (Not that all the other Heroes from other horrific scenes like this are any less a hero because they didn't stop the actions like Ms. Tiff did!! Living in Littleton,CO., I have a good perspective regarding these tragedies as I knew several of the students wounded or killed at Columbine High School.) Heroes come in so many "flavors", it is amazing how under extreme duress certain people are inspired & driven to TAKE A STAND against the dangerous criminals.
I am Bi-Polar myself, and know how hard it is to "maintain", but you just HAVE to put effort into remembering to take your meds, get a good therapist (and see them REGULARLY!!), and just plain CHOOSE --not-- to be a danger to yourself or society!!!
Better laws regarding Mental Health backgrounds are in the works...they are just being held up by certain members of Congress...most state their reason for stalling new laws as being a "violation of our rights"...but I never heard that our rights supercede horrifying criminal acts!! I will never own a gun under the new laws once they are in place for 2 reasons: MY Bi-Polar AND the fact I live with other Mentally ill individuals! I think it is worth EVERY dollar spent on enacting the Mental Health backgrounds...especially as they will also require you to indicate any other household members (or even those who spend a great deal of time with) a prospective gun owner!
In all...I think it's about time to crack down on gun control...and to hold those who -do- own guns accountable for crimes committed with their weapons! If you can't adequately safe-gaurd your weapons from others, and proof can be provided of your negligence, then you should be held responsible for the crime---albeit in a lesser degree than those who actually committed the crime! Just -MY- HONEST OPINIONS.

(14)
Hal,
August 27, 2013 10:42 PM

It's called "doing the right thing".

G-d forbid, had the results not been as good, she should still be lauded for her response. On the other hand, what if it was a terrorist bent on destruction and death? Has any one of them ever been talked out of their mission?.

(13)
Fay,
August 27, 2013 6:52 PM

Inspiring

Her faith is an inspiration and lesson for all of God's children, of all faiths and backgrounds.

(12)
Malka Jerusalem,
August 27, 2013 6:13 PM

Your pain can be someone else's gain

I think the comments in the article are spot on. It is only because of all the pain this woman has been through could she be calm and speak with such depth to this sick teenager. She talked the task and walked the walk of more pain that he did and she is able to reach out to another. She didn't choose bitterness, she is a hero

(11)
ruth housman,
August 27, 2013 5:30 PM

Tuff Stuff A Tough Lady

My friend Karen had a sweet Pomeranian she named Tuffy because he was abysed before she got him as a puppy. It feels clear to me we actualize our names in deep ways. This wonderful woman had 'been there' as in she knew the depths of this young man's despair from personal experience. She also, clearly was sustained in feeling God was talking her through this. A coincidence? Or a story about learning empathy?
And more....

(10)
Nivea,
August 27, 2013 5:10 PM

G-d gives wisdom

I truly believe that Hashem was with this woman, giving her wisdom in speaking with this lost and hurting person. When human beings do good I believe it's The Lord moving them to do so even if they don't know or believe that G-d is real. He is love and gooness personified

(9)
Andrew Stiller,
August 27, 2013 2:42 PM

One Amazing Woman!

I applaud this brave woman. I know for certain that I could never muster her level of courage and compassion in the face of such peril. This woman of valor restores my faith in humanity!

(8)
Anonymous,
August 26, 2013 12:45 AM

A saint?

If there are such things as saints she deserved to be called one.

(7)
Beverly Kurtin,
August 25, 2013 8:26 PM

THAT'S a HERO

As I type this, I'm flooded with emotions, but pride for what that incredible lady did. Her love and trust in Hashem is crystal clear. I don't know that I could have done what she did. With so many people being called a "Hero," Antionette Tuff is a TRUE hero. Her love for a man who could have killed her and others in the face of that threat...I just want to hug her.

"We all go through something in life. WOW! YES. I heard/saw the program that had both Ms. Tuff and the 911 operator who worked with her just gave me goosebumps.

What a selfless act she performed. Wow.

Jaclyn,
August 27, 2013 4:54 PM

Brave and Corageous Women

Beverly as I to read this I was choked,up with emotion!!!There are not many people in the world,who would.Have been able to do what she did and keep her wits about her!!
Ms.Tuff went back to want painfully recently,happened to her.After 33 years a divorce and taking care of a mentally disabled son.She was able to start a life for her and her son.Was able to communicate to this young man keeping,her cool.That he had a reason to love on her part this,took great faith in G-d!!!I wish the world had more people like Antoinette Tuff,who are.Completely unthinking about themselves!!!
She deserves great respect and honor for what she,did in time.Of terror putting her life on the line!!!She also deserves a medal!!

(6)
Harry Pearle,
August 25, 2013 8:05 PM

We all Need the Courage to Help Others CHANGE THEIR MINDS

In this moving story I sense that we all have our mishagas. And we all see mishagas in others. Do we have the courage to encourage other people to see the light? .............It does not have to involve a crisis situation. We all have habits and attitudes that are not healthy, that do not work......Perhaps we can share this story and play the video to help others to wake up, this New Year. THANKS MUCH

(5)
Janice,
August 25, 2013 7:37 PM

Heroism

it is NOT ok to act out in this manner. It is not ok to get help buy slaying others. Is not ok . Our children need schools that have armed guards; that don't allow ill maniacs to come in and slughter them; the go to learn not to be some sacrificial offering for the mentally ill.

(4)
Lisa,
August 25, 2013 1:20 AM

A true Southern Lady!!

Lets not overlook that she is a Southerner! She took the time to listen & talk to the shooter....there are no coincidences!!! By treating the shooter with respectt she saved so many lives!

(3)
Bob,
August 23, 2013 3:15 PM

Antoinette says God put all the wordsin her mouth.

In her interview on Anderson Cooper 360 last night, Antoinette made clear that she took no credit for her effectiveness. She said she was terrified, but kept asking God what to say, and God kept telling her. She said that her job was to be there to be a vessel that God could use.

Ann Canada,
August 25, 2013 6:36 PM

Amen dear Bob

Thank you for reminding us all Who was really in charge that day at school. May HaShem bless that dear woman and her son and their whole family with much love, good health and prosperity--and may He help the tormented soul, too, who thought he could fix his problems with an AK-47.

This year during Chanukah I will be on a wilderness survival trip, and it will be very difficult to properly celebrate the holiday. I certainty won't be able to bring along a Menorah.

So if I am going to celebrate only one day of Chanukah, which is the most significant?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

If a person can only celebrate one day of Chanukah, he should celebrate the first day.

This is similar to a case where a person is in prison, and the authorities agree to permit him to go to synagogue one day. The law is that he should go at the first opportunity, and not wait for a more important day like the High Holidays.

The reason is because one should not allow the opportunity of a mitzvah to pass. Moreover, it is quite conceivable that circumstances will later change and allow for additional observance. Therefore, we do not let the first chance pass. (Sources: Code of Jewish Law OC 90, Mishnah Berurah 28.)

As an important aside, Chanukah candles must be lit in (or at the entrance to) a home rather than out of doors. Thus, you should not light in actual "wilderness," but only after you've pitched your tent for the night.

There may be another reason why the first night is the one to focus on. Chanukah is celebrated for eight days to commemorate the one-day supply of oil that miraculously burned for eight days. But if you think about it, since there was enough oil to burn naturally for one night, nothing miraculous happened on that first night! So why shouldn't Chanukah be just seven days?!

There are many wonderful answers given to this question, highlighting the special aspect of the first day. Here are a few:

1) True, the miracle of the oil did not begin until the second day, and lasted for only seven days. But the Sages designated the first day of Chanukah in commemoration of the miraculous military victory.

2) Having returned to the Temple and found it in shambles, the Jews had no logical reason to think they would find any pure oil. The fact that the Maccabees didn't give up hope, and then actually found any pure oil at all, is in itself a miracle.

3) The Sages chose Chanukah, a festival that revolves around oil's ability to burn, as the time to teach the fundamental truth that even so-called "natural" events take place only because God wants them to.

The Talmudic Sage Rabbi Chanina Ben Dosa expressed this truth in explaining a miracle that occurred in his own home. Once, his daughter realized that she had lit the Shabbos candles with vinegar instead of oil. Rabbi Chanina calmed her, saying, "Why are you concerned! The One Who commanded oil to burn, can also command vinegar to burn!" The Talmud goes on to say that those Shabbos lights burned bright for many hours (Taanit 25a).

To drive this truth home, the Sages decreed that Chanukah be observed for eight days: The last seven to commemorate the miracle of the Menorah, and the first to remind us that even the “normal” burning of oil is only in obedience to God's wish.

In closing, I'm not sure what's stopping you from celebrating more than one day? At a minimum, you can light one candle sometime during the evening, and that fulfills the mitzvah of Chanukah - no “official Menorah” necessary. With so much joy to be had, why limit yourself to one night only?!

In 165 BCE, the Maccabees defeated the Greek army and rededicated the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. Finding only one jar of pure oil, they lit the Menorah, which miraculously burned for eight days. Also on this day -- 1,100 years earlier -- Moses and the Jewish people completed construction of the Tabernacle, the portable sanctuary that accompanied them during 40 years of wandering in the desert. The Tabernacle was not dedicated, however, for another three months; tradition says that the day of Kislev 25 was then "compensated" centuries later -- when the miracle of Chanukah occurred and the Temple was rededicated. Today, Jews around the world light a Chanukah menorah, to commemorate the miracle of the oil, and its message that continues to illuminate our lives today.

A person who utilizes suffering to arouse himself in spiritual matters will find consolation. He will recognize that even though the suffering was difficult for him, it nevertheless helped him for eternity.

When you see yourself growing spiritually through your suffering, you will even be able to feel joy because of that suffering.

They established these eight days of Chanukah to give thanks and praise to Your great Name(Siddur).

Jewish history is replete with miracles that transcend the miracle of the Menorah. Why is the latter so prominently celebrated while the others are relegated to relative obscurity?

Perhaps the reason is that most other miracles were Divinely initiated; i.e. God intervened to suspend the laws of nature in order to save His people from calamity.

The miracle of the Menorah was something different. Having defeated the Seleucid Greek invaders, the triumphant Jews entered the Sanctuary. There they found that they could light the Menorah for only one day, due to a lack of undefiled oil. Further, they had no chance of replenishing the supply for eight days. They did light the Menorah anyway, reasoning that it was best to do what was within their ability to do and to postpone worrying about the next day until such worry was appropriate. This decision elicited a Divine response and the Menorah stayed lit for that day and for seven more.

This miracle was thus initiated by the Jews themselves, and the incident was set down as a teaching for all future generations: concentrate your efforts on what you can do, and do it! Leave the rest to God.

While even our best and most sincere efforts do not necessarily bring about miracles, the teaching is nevertheless valid. Even the likelihood of failure in the future should not discourage us from any constructive action that we can take now.

Today I shall...

focus my attention on what it is that I can do now, and do it to the best of my ability.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...