Of the most searched-for topics on Google that lead random people to Dangerous Minds, perhaps the single most popular is “Is Lady Gaga a member of the Illuminati?”

I kid you not, there is usually at least one person, at all times of the day or night, who is visiting us to research whether or not the world’s biggest pop star is, in fact, a member of that most secretive of secret societies. Another way way it gets phrased is “Lady Gaga” and either “Satanic conspiracy,” or “Revelations” but that’s obviously a dead giveaway of a Christian conspiracy theorist. Apparently, some people truly seem to believe that Lady Gaga figures into Bible prophecies (and it’s not just Gaga, it’s Jay-Z as well). This post is dedicated to them. It will be one of our most popular posts ever, in the long run, trust me.

Not saying that she is in the Illuminati, but if she is, Lady Gaga is certainly milking her membership for all it for all it’s worth to forward teh gayz agenda. From Joe.My.God:

The fastest-selling single in iTunes history, “Born This Way” has already sold millions of copies worldwide and has gone to #1 in more than 30 countries. Whether you’re a Gaga fan or not, you cannot deny the unprecedented impact of hundreds of millions of people singing out loud, that yes, we were born this way. Lady Gaga is pushing the movement forward in ways few could have possibly fathomed.

He’s absolutely right. That song is a wonderfully subversive, absolutely unstoppable meme. It’s a magical incantation of social engineering—it’s a spell—and Lady Gaga knows this. The nursery rhyme simplicity of the lyrics gnaw their way into your brain and don’t let go. The idea of a homophobe having that song stuck in their head all day is a pleasant notion, and you know fully well that’s happened a lot.

I think you really have to hand it to Lady Gaga. When she turned down the Target deal after they wouldn’t guarantee to her that they would shun donating to all anti-gay politicians, she was truly proving to her fan-base that she is who she says she is. It took a lot of integrity to turn down that much money. There could have been a way to “spin” it and still collect their cash. She could have played it off, if she wanted to, and yet she didn’t. The Illuminati could use more like her!

John Michael Greer of the Archdruid Report contributes an excellently on-point article about systems theory and the relation between the American Neoconservatives and the Bavarian Illuminati (no, it’s not quite what you think). This is a masterful analysis of geopolitics and a very simple explanation of why conspiracies fail. Read on…

The problem with Professor Weishaupt’s fantasy of an illuminated Bavaria was a bit of bad logic that has been faithfully repeated by intellectuals seeking power ever since: the belief, as sincere as it is silly, that if you have the right ideas, you are by definition smarter than the system you are trying to control. That’s Weishaupt’s Fallacy. Because Weishaupt and his fellow Illuminati were convinced that the conservative forces in Bavaria were a bunch of clueless boors, they were totally unprepared for the counterblow that followed once the Bavarian government figured out who the Illuminati were and what they were after.

For a more recent example, consider the rise and fall of the neoconservative movement, which stormed into power in the United States in 2000 boldly proclaiming the arrival of a “new American century,” and proceeded to squander what remained of America’s wealth and global reputation in a series of foreign and domestic policy blunders that have set impressive new standards for political fecklessness. The neoconservatives were convinced that they understood the world better than anybody else. That conviction was the single most potent factor behind their failure; when mainstream conservatives (not to mention everybody else!) tried to warn them where their fantasies of remaking the Middle East in America’s image would inevitably end, the neoconservatives snorted in derision and marched straight on into the disaster they were making for themselves, and of course for the rest of us as well.

The Secret World is an upcoming MMORPG in which players join one of three secret societies and battle evil forces threatening to overwhelm the world by 2012. Something like this’s been coming for a while… let’s see if it lives up to expectations.

Last week, Funcom released the second teaser trailer for its highly anticipated MMO The Secret World. At the same time, an “initiation test” went up on the game’s website, classifying test-takers into three secret societies - the Illuminati, the Dragons and the Templars, providing a brief description of each with a promise of more information to be revealed at Penny Arcade Expo in Seattle. If PAX attendees had hoped to catch a glimpse of some gameplay or anything other than the video, they would have been disappointed because the revelations were done behind closed doors. The good news is that we were there to see it.

Funcom’s Creative Director Ragnar T?ɬ?rnquist started off the presentation with a video that was shown at GDC in April, which was mostly about the game’s setting and its universe. The Secret World takes place in modern day cities all around the globe, but it’s a world where paranormal occurrences do happen. The designers have drawn upon various myths, legends and conspiracy theories to create a world where supernatural beings exist right under our noses, for the most part undetected or ignored by us. The player takes on the role of a hero with great magical powers who has to battle zombies, vampires, demons and other fell creatures in order to keep the rest of the world safe.

More Illuminati nuttiness today, courtesy Vigilant Citizen, and YouTube’s FarhanK501. In the case of Ms. Gaga, Vigilant Citizen exposes the pop star as a possible extension of Project Monarch (i.e. mind-controlling) sneakiness. Well, of course she is, what else could all that “butterfly” imagery be about?! And have you noticed all her “eye-covering?” That’s eye-of-Horus stuff, right there, if you ask me. Still not convinced? Play “count the pyramids” in the following commercial for German television. What’s “Ms. Germanotta” selling? I have no idea, but, hmm, I’m now suddenly recalling my life as a Green Beret.

Regarding the still oddly-unburied Michael Jackson, FarhanK501 echoes what sister La Toya‘s been claiming all along: MJ was murdered. Not for his money, though. No, dodging “Satanic rituals,” but still reluctant to “say too much” to Ed Bradley, Jackson, it seems, was about to blow the lid off the Illuminati conspiracy itself…or at least Aspartame.

But what’s going on here, really—why tether MJ to the Illuminati?

Well, the reasons are probably as sad as they are simple. Heroes die, and for often all-too-worldly reasons: loneliness, self-loathing, drug-dependency. And that’s the last thing we want from our heroes: some suggestion that they’re mortal, of this world, one of us. So let’s all erase what we’ve learned about the dangers of propofol, shall we, and remember Jackson’s higher purpose here: ripping the veil off a centuries-old, artificial-sweetener-promoting conspiracy.

Oh, those tricky subliminals—they’re everywhere! Especially over on the YouTube site of 111TRUTH111 (if that really is his/her name). The site attempts to rip the Masonic robes right off of not just Stanley Kubrick, but off other, to my knowledge, non-Masonic-types like Neo, James Bond, and, why not, Buzz Lightyear. Didn’t spot the triangle imagery Kubrick seeded throughout Dr. Strangelove? Well, you can see it all here. Wanna play spot-the-Horus-eye in A Clockwork Orange? Once again, 111TRUTH111’s got you covered (with some lovely accompaniment, of course, by Massive Attack and Radiohead).

But as George C. Scott‘s Buck Turgidson sighs in Strangelove, “The truth is not always a pleasant thing.” Nor is it very graspable, either. Like much of the Illuminati-related material out there, these clips suggest everything and explain nothing. Where are you when we need you, RAW?!

RE: the top photo, bonus points for those of you who spotted the triangle formed by Kubrick!