So there's this Louisiana state representative, John LaBruzzo (R-Lebensunwertes Leben), who announced this week he's "studying a plan to pay poor women $1,000 to have their Fallopian tubes tied" because: "We're on a train headed to the future and there's a bridge out."

LaBruzzo said he worries that people receiving government aid such as food stamps and publicly subsidized housing are reproducing at a faster rate than more affluent, better-educated people who presumably pay more tax revenue to the government. He said he is gathering statistics now.

"What I'm really studying is any and all possibilities that we can reduce the number of people that are going from generational welfare to generational welfare, " he said.

You know, that's something that really concerns me, too—which is why I'm proposing as a contingency of the federal bailout that every executive at every firm receiving government funds is required to undergo sterilization.

Most of them will be vasectomies anyway, so it'll be cheap—and Maude knows that this country cannot sustain another generation of voraciously greedy, altogether unethical, social Darwinist, lackadaisical, laissez-faire, deregulating degenerates holding out their hats for massive government hand-outs.

I would say let's build a wall around their depraved little communities to keep them in, but they're already gated. Let's just put an armed guard at the front gate and make sure none of them get out and accidentally wander into a decent community and infect it with their cooties.

Look, I know that sounds totally racist, since most of the people who run massive financial firms are white, but, as Rep. LaBruzzo says: "It's easy to say, 'Oh, he's a racist. The hard part is to sit down and think of some solutions." And, frankly, my solution is darn good. I mean, the Wall Street bailout is something like 15x what the federal government spends on food stamps and subsidized housing every year, so I'm guessing Rep. LaBruzzo's going to jump right on board with my plan.

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Temerity the Size of Texas

So there's this Louisiana state representative, John LaBruzzo (R-Lebensunwertes Leben), who announced this week he's "studying a plan to pay poor women $1,000 to have their Fallopian tubes tied" because: "We're on a train headed to the future and there's a bridge out."

LaBruzzo said he worries that people receiving government aid such as food stamps and publicly subsidized housing are reproducing at a faster rate than more affluent, better-educated people who presumably pay more tax revenue to the government. He said he is gathering statistics now.

"What I'm really studying is any and all possibilities that we can reduce the number of people that are going from generational welfare to generational welfare, " he said.

You know, that's something that really concerns me, too—which is why I'm proposing as a contingency of the federal bailout that every executive at every firm receiving government funds is required to undergo sterilization.

Most of them will be vasectomies anyway, so it'll be cheap—and Maude knows that this country cannot sustain another generation of voraciously greedy, altogether unethical, social Darwinist, lackadaisical, laissez-faire, deregulating degenerates holding out their hats for massive government hand-outs.

I would say let's build a wall around their depraved little communities to keep them in, but they're already gated. Let's just put an armed guard at the front gate and make sure none of them get out and accidentally wander into a decent community and infect it with their cooties.

Look, I know that sounds totally racist, since most of the people who run massive financial firms are white, but, as Rep. LaBruzzo says: "It's easy to say, 'Oh, he's a racist. The hard part is to sit down and think of some solutions." And, frankly, my solution is darn good. I mean, the Wall Street bailout is something like 15x what the federal government spends on food stamps and subsidized housing every year, so I'm guessing Rep. LaBruzzo's going to jump right on board with my plan.

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