1 Jane Goodall: I'm talking to Dr Simon Beard from the Centre for the Study of Existential Risk at the University of Cambridge.
2 Jane Goodall: I think he can help us.
3 Simon: Indeed! We have a huge whiteboard covered with potential existential threats - adding alien mites to the list has made my day!
4 Simon: Especially since we got them before those bungling nincompoops at the Oxford Future of Humanity Institute!

Depending on your point of view, this may sound either like a complete and frivolous waste of time, or the most important thing we could possibly study. Fortunately, these places are staffed by philosophical scientists with a good sense of humour.

I hope they have the uncontrolled escalation of Cambridge versus Oxford rivalry as one of the potential threats on their whiteboards.