Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I'm having bad craving issues lately. Sometimes I give in (see yesterday's post) and sometimes not. I thought I had this kicked, but as I've said before...I think I may struggle with this for a long, long time. They say alcoholics never recover...I'm just hoping this isn't the same! I figure, for now, meal by meal will have to do. I didn't get here the easy way, I suppose I won't get out of it any easier. I almost went to the golden arches to get biscuits and gravy. It took some convincing on my part, but for breakfast at least I over-rode that voice that nags and nags in your head: you know you want it, what's one little meal going to hurt. If it stopped at the one meal I'd be ok. But, I don't. So, I had cereal. And, I know I feel better than I would have with the heavy, fatty breakfast.

On a different note (or really the same one), like others who read her blog, I've been inspired by lasserday. If you haven't read her blog, then check it out (especially the I'm married series). She did what all of us say we're going to do: she made a committment to herself to stop being mean and start being supportive. She made a ceremonial committment (ring included) to herself to love, honor and cherish herself. What a great idea! The ceremony itself is more than I would do, but years ago I bought myself a ring. Not a dimond ring, but a ring to remind me that I didn't need a loser boyfriend to give me things I want and need. I can do that myself. Why didn't I honor that? Why are we so harsh on ourselves? Why all the guilt and self doubt? If our inner voices were friends or boyfriends, we would have dumped our asses a long time ago. Yet, we still continue to being our worst enemies. I had one of those yesterday...the hubby and I are having all sorts of issues lately (really, since we got married a year and a half ago...it'd take too long to get into all of it), and I've been doubting just about everything I do and not feeling good enough for any of it lately. Feeling not very good about myself to say the least. But, really...there is so much worse out there to worry about. And, if I'm not my own best friend, cheerleader, etc...who will be? You know the old saying: the only person you can count on is you. I can't say I can always truely count on myself...to do what makes me healthy and long term happy instead of momentarily happy, to be positive and supportive, to make me enjoy my one life that I have. Well, maybe we all should start counting on ourselves to be our own cheerleaders, best friends, supporters, etc. From now on I'm going to make an active effort to try to be the supportive person I need in my life! I hope you make the committement to be that for yourself too.