Ever since he grabbed power after being defeated in the popular election of 2000, George W. Bush has been recognized as America's King George the Second. However, the realm of Bush Junior is much larger than just the United States of America. It turns out that George the Second also holds the title of King of Lamebrain Ideas.

Here's one idea that proves the legitimacy of George W. Bush's claim to the Lamebrain Throne: Bush says America ought to train Iraqis to take over security for American soldiers, but when those Iraqi soldiers are trained to provide security, he refuses to provide them any guns because he doesn't trust them.

You know that car bomb that went off outside the United Nations headquarters in Baghdad this week, killing an Iraqi security guard and seriously injuring a crowd of over 20 people? Well, the Bush Dictatorship in Iraq refused to allow that security guard to have a gun. In fact, none of the Iraqis the United States trained to guard the United Nations headquarters were given the weapons necessary to do their jobs.

How can Iraqi security forces establish order in their country, if they're not even entrusted with the ability to defend themselves?

Falah Hassan Ali, another unarmed Iraqi security guard who witnessed the attack, criticized Bush's lack of support for the local security forces that are supposed to replace American soldiers, saying, "Anyone can attack us from any direction. We have no guns, no bulletproof vests, nothing at all to protect us." Haider Mansour al- Saadi, a 22 year-old Iraqi civilian who was injured in the attack agreed, saying, "We are just like human shields for the Americans."

I'm no expert in military strategy, but isn't it generally regarded as bad technique to refuse to allow your allies to carry weapons? Isn't it also a bad move to make the people you're supposed to be liberating feel like sitting ducks? Clear this up for me, military experts, if I've got this wrong.

Apparently, George W. Bush believes that Iraqis can end the chaos triggered by the American invasion without any weaponry whatsoever. The only tool of control that Bush will allow the Iraqi security forces to carry is extreme confidence. This kind of security is supposed to be enforced through the exertion of will alone, as follows: "Hey, guys? Um, stop that. No, I mean it. Wait! I really, really mean it now! Halt! Wait just one minute now, okay? Put that bomb away, or else! I'll tell on you! Hey, the Americans say not to do that! No, I really, really, really mean it now! Hey, that's going to put someone's eye out! Ow! Ow! Augh!" Hm. You know, it's by coming up with methods of security like this that George W. Bush became the King of Lamebrain Ideas.

What's really weird about this no-guns Iraqi security plan that George W. Bush has cooked up in the empty recesses of his beer-addled brain is that Bush says he's a staunch supporter of the National Rifle Association. Bush believes that every American ought to have a gun, for the sake of security, but he's a radical gun control advocate in Iraq. Heck, he doesn't even allow the local law enforcement authorities to carry guns!

Something doesn't add up here. Bush is making Americans pay for the most expensive military buildup and occupation since World War II, but he's not giving any self-defense ability to the Iraqis who he says will eventually take over for the Americans. Hm. If I were the skeptical sort, which I am, I'd say that it looks like George W. Bush is actually planning for the American occupation to last for a very long time.

These indications of a lengthy American presence in Iraq come at the same time that Bush's puppets in Iraq announce that the country's oil reserves will remain exclusively under the power of the "provisional authority" in Iraq (none other than the American military dictatorship led by George W. Bush himself). A prolonged occupation by U.S. soldiers to give Bush control of Iraq's oil... is that what we're supposed to be standing united for?