The Top 13 Changes Under a Government Run by Pro Wrestlers
13) Driving your fellow Congressman into the turnbuckle now
considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster.
12) President now shouts entire State of the Union address
with his face 18 inches from TV camera.
11) IRS audit replaced by more efficient reverse body slam
onto enema.
10) Government becomes a charade of meaningless noises and
lots of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with
no class or manners-- Hey, wait a minute...
9) Free school lunches destined for the needy instead go to
the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school.
8) Sex scandals now involve even skankier women.
7) January 20: Inauguration ceremonies
January 21: FDA approves over-the-counter sale of steroids
6) Newt Gingrich is finally able to wear his mask and cape
out of the house.
5) During House debate, it is acceptable to yield to the
gentleman wielding a folding chair.
4) Difficult finding interns willing to accommodate an entire
pouch of Skoal.
3) Strom Thurmond *finally* removed by The Undertaker.
2) Line to bodyslam Ken Starr winds around Lincoln Memorial.
and the Number 1 Change Under a Government Run by Pro Wrestlers...
1) Before: Mr. Vice President After: Stone Cold Al Gore