Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Ever since I started this blog, reviewing the search terms people have used to come by my site has never ceased to amaze me. It's been a while since I've written about them because it's something that a lot of people do, but I've come across some lately that just have to be shared.

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"duct tape chastity" - I don't even know where to begin with this one. While I do have to agree that duct tape is one method of ensuring chastity, there are definitely better and less adhesive ways of achieving abstinence. Like an Everlast, for example.

"I am weak and 24" - Welcome the club, my friend.

"badass checkbook covers" - I could write a veritable laundry list of all the different "badass" things people search for. You name it, I've more than likely seen it on my search term list. But this? Checkbook covers? No. I'm sorry, but there is just no way to make writing a check look badass. What's more, how can purchasing anything, regardless of payment method, be considered badass? Unless you're flipping Benjamin's off of a roll of bills.

"I like to put hot water on my balls because it feels good" - Ouch. Just... ouch. I'm all for people having fetishes and whatnot that helps get their respective rocks off, but I draw the line when it comes to introducing scalding hot water to my California Raisins.

it's basically screenshots that people submit of the weird predictions Google gives. Check it out! I'll give you an example. You type in "I did th" and one search prediction is "I did the macarena with a homeless guy in an elevator because Big Bird said to and he's my leader". Or how about "Why do I h" and you get "why do I have four nipples".

Yeah, the Everlast belt from "men in tights" is a good one. That would ensure chastity more than duct tape. But, with duct tape, there is no need to worry abut rust...hmm... Don't get me wrong, sir, I am an advocate for all things duct tape, but using duct tape as a"contraceptive" would be something I would NOT try! Ouch! haha!

Paper towels are vicious and there are people out there who have had many tragic accidents with them. haha. Maybe I should try looking up a paper-towel-survivor support group...and if I do, I shall report back! :) Cheers!