Tag Archives: belief

Lately it seems I am hearing the statement, IT IS WHAT IT IS more frequently than ever before. Perhaps I am just sensitive to it because for some reason it rubs me the wrong way. People interviewed on TV are saying it, people around me are saying it. Something about it just doesn’t sound right. So I have to ask why.

I guess most would mean it to sound like a situation or circumstance is real, and there is merit in that but somehow it is, to me, an incomplete thought.

This is what I hear when that sentence is spoken:

It is what it is – finality

It is what it is – therefore nothing can be done about it

It is what it is – so suck it up

It is what it is – nothing can change it

It is what it is – and like the proverbial leopard unable to change its spots neither can we change this

Wiki.answers.com goes a little further and says ‘Want refers to what you absolutely have to have and ‘need’ refers to something that you don’t really lust for – but you just need it.

Answers.yahoo.com says – DESIRE is when you want something you can’t have. WANT is when you don’t need it but you get it anyways.

I always thought that reaching a point where one says, ‘I want nothing’ was a sign of happiness, an expression of gratitude. I don’t think it means you have everything you could want, it just means that you are grateful and appreciative for what you have. I disagree with M-W that WANT means being needy or destitute and agree whole heartedly with the second part – To have or feel need.

There are many, perhaps too many, in this day of materialism who WANT, not because of need, unless you count the need to possess as much as possible.

I think there is a much more positive side to WANT. Because of want we set goals and move ourselves and society forward. Want is not always about self, but the accomplished goal is indeed personal. WANT is an acknowledgement and from there comes our plan, our goal.

This is a very narrow positive because wanting and not receiving affects us. So then what happens?

We can accept the ‘not having’, we can I suppose change the WANT, although if the wanting is part of our need it is not easy to give up. Some who WANT change nothing and live, I believe, half a life never being able to get past that thing and move on. These are the bitterest lives immersed in anger and every form of negativity.

There are special people out there who WANT and accept the not having and chose to live in joy.

This weekend a young man died. I only met him a couple of times but my sister was a friend. He was born on the other side of the world in a country where his mother had to hide him so he would not be killed. Eventually they came to live in Canada, where despite my occasional groans about politics and institution is an excellent place to live.

Here he was loved by many.
Every day he went out about the town in his electric wheelchair. Malls were one of his favorite spots to hang out where he cheered so many with his smile and laugh. He loved people and they in turn loved him.

In the summer he loved to go to a local park where he got out of his wheelchair and sat by the lake on a rock. Just like everyone else. He had wants and was never embittered by them. He had joy for others and his want was a dream that could not be allowed on this plane of life.

It was just a few days ago when he spoke, as well as he could speak, and he told her that when he got to heaven someday he would be able to walk, would be able to run and jump. And his belief gave him joy.

He never resented others for what they had, he was just happy for them.

He died, this man loved by so many, somehow falling or rolling from the rock into that lake and drowning. And as my sister spoke of him yesterday she softly said, ‘He just wanted to be normal.’

And for a time I thought of WANT and the people whose lives are ruined by it and I thought of people like this man who in the ‘not having’ enriched everyone else’s life. And I blushed through my tears as I drove home, ashamed that my Wants have at times been negatively flavored and I found a gratitude and overwhelming joy at what I do have, and found myself wondering what I can do to enrich other lives.

You see I met this man perhaps twice and if this is the impact he had on me you have some idea of others and the value of their tears.

Well these last few weeks have been filled with challenges for many people I know, including us. This is a wonderful time of year and makes me aware of all our blessings. Sometimes you just have to let life happen and deal the best we can. I have a dear dear friend who believes in dealing with the hand we are dealt and she is one of the most positive people I know.

Regardless of What or Who you believe in, I think Belief is necessary. It is strengthening. Now anyone who is reading this and is anti-Christian, or Atheist, or agnostic, don’t get your girdles in a knot. Belief is a very personal matter for each of us; God, Jesus, Creator, Universe, Oneself. The important thing is that we believe.

Our beliefs give us Hope and Hope is the Life Saver, that allows us to not only survive but to do it well. Sometimes you just have to hang on to the side of the dingy while it tosses us around on stormy seas.

No one gets through life free of strife. Sometimes we can have a mind set that gets things flowing in a positive peaceful way but most times its just getting through the difficulties. That’s where faith and hope and belief come in. Faith in yourself, your own strength. Faith in a Creator.

Hardship is owned by each of us. We may go through years of relative calm and then, oops here comes Life. Belief is our Strength and while I cannot change the path many of us are on I can certainly be there to provide support which doesn’t necessarily ease the pain, but sometimes it eases the mind and/or soul.

There will be better days. Maybe just not for awhile. No one can set a time limit on trials and tribulations. Back in May of ’80 we started with the death of my grandfather. Thereafter at least every six months for a period of six years we lost many family and friends and most of them too young, way too young. In that time there were good things, good times, but the shadow remained for a long time.

Since August we have had five deaths of friends and family, we have had lots of illness and upset. We shall survive and we will do it with good cheer and a healthy dose of gratitude for what we do have and did have.

Life for me remains good and if we did not have pain, how would we recognize that good? I am not sure how I feel about that last sentence as I am pretty sure I could recognize the good without pain and suffering to contrast it, however I am trying to remain very sporting of this Thing called Life.

Oprah Winfrey is making a momentous move, but then she has been doing that all her life..making momentous moves.

“O” and “OWN” mean more than just a letter of the alphabet and possessing something. Her life in many ways is an open book and there is no need, here, to go over it again.

Oprah has made some mistakes, a few very serious ones, but has always taken ownership by admitting and apologizing when someone has been hurt, fixing it when she could, learning from it and moving on.

I have never been a watch the show every day or even some days fan. I only occasionally pick up her magazine but I have been very aware of her. She has done and will continue to do some great good deeds.

She said she knew from the age of four that she was destined for something great. She did not know exactly what it was but she knew, and that knowledge factored into all her decisions.

I don’t even know if she ever made a statement similar or exactly like the one above about believing, but it seems to me to be an ‘Oprah’ kind of statement.

It doesn’t matter What we believe – just That we believe.

I have friends and family who are Christian, Agnostic, Atheist, Buddhist, Muslim, and all things in between. I have friends and family who are none of these things, who believe in themselves.

All are right. All have found their truth for this time. Truths change. Our belief structure of ten or twenty years ago, or from now, may be different. We grow, we change, we learn.

Even the Dalai Lama in his book ‘My Spiritual Journey’ celebrates diversity in belief.