Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Boy you've got to just plain LOVE it when Costco sends out their coupon booklet, and you see all the things you need, but just didn't realize your needs, until you start cruising thru that booklet!!! So here I find myself with such a booklet in hand, waiting with all the other bargain shoppers in line. I am not even going to go "there" at this moment about the overly zealot rude adults pushing HUGE carts around and loading up on "STUFF".... NOPE, not even going to waste my breath on that one. So, I am checking out everyone's cart.... What is it that these people just need to be buying in mass quantities? Then my eyes turn to my wee bit of a cart!!! What does this medal wheeled contraption say about me???

A glimpse into who I am and who I am becoming......

Oh so very defining... Why this woman must be a large dog owner (52 lb of dog food), mother of a toddler (Huggies, size 4), person with major allergies (bulk supply of Kleenex), stressed out (large bottle of Mega Vit B complex) in need of a good night sleep (new pillows), health conscious (almonds, string cheese, frozen fish) and kid party gift buyer (Junie B book)....There are a few things I wished I would have picked up once I got all my "STUFF" home, treats!!!!

You all know that thing that just kind of happens as soon as you make the decision to do something that you have been kind of waiting for??? Have I lost everyone on that one??? Let me be more decisive. As I am sure all of you have your m$ney China-ready, sitting and waiting, just awaiting for that magical time when it is our turn. I am ready, and waiting, and there sits the goods in a low interest savings account. So someone suggested I move it to a higher interest 6 month money market account. SIX MONTHS!!! So I am kind of feeling safe that these funds will be able to mature the full six months, unless by miracle, referrals speed up..... SO I am going for it.... Six months risk that I will not be needing such funds...... so with that being done, YOU know that the referrals will be speeding up, just because I have committed these funds.....

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Four years ago, someone suggested I adopt from China. Two years ago Tana (that someone), suggested it again as she was going for her second Chinese daughter, Sofie. This time IT just felt right, and off I went on this amazing journey for Tate. In the back of my mind I have always thought of ways to keep Tate connected to who she truly is. The melting pot as I think of it. She will be by birth and race, Chinese. Just looking at her will give that simple piece of truth. The rest will be up to me. She is formost AMERICAN.... what better culture that represents the melting pot of people and culture. By instinct, I will provide her with Norwegian traditions, customs and some words. I plan on celebrating all holidays of the US, China, Norway, and the diversity of the US..... Greek festivals, Cinco De Mayo, Italian days..... All of it..... Just by saying this, I feel like my life will be nothing but celebrations and parties. I want Tate to feel that so many elements make up who really she is.... That she is unique, yet she is "normal". This normalcy drives me to make the connections with others who have adopted from China. I love to socialize but somehow I crave this connection with others who are in my similar situation. I am counting on this support to help me thru the tough time of unanswered questions, feelings of value, and abandonment. I plan on being there for those I could help. We all have been entrusted with the well being of the greatest gift ever, that of the love and caring of a child, and not just a child, a child who is in need of ME as much as I am in need of HER. Today I feel that need for HER. It is a snowy lazy Sunday morning, and boy do I wish I had a little snuggle baby to be with.....Cook teddy bear pancakes, rock and read to. As with everything in my life, I say there is always tomorrow. That tomorrow is just getting closer each and every passing day. Who knows one year from today, I will be wishing for the type of alone day that I am having today. I guess I just want what I do not have at the moment. But this very moment would be so magical if only I held TATE.......

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Monday, February 19, 2007

The 90 lbs of snuggle lovin' just surprised me the other day..... I came into the house via the front door for a change and totally surprised Mesa. She was in the backyard anticipating my arrival thru the garage. Much to her excitement, she greets me and then runs full force into the bedroom and dashes out into the dark living room where I was in the process of turning on some lights. As the lights turn on and I gaze at the bright happy brown eyes of Mesa, I see hanging from her mouth a tail....... not just a ordinary tail, but a mouse tail with a complete body attached to it..... A quick "leave it" from me, and a drop by her, and I see that she has honored me with such a loving gift... This mouse was in perfect form without any mangling, Mesa had accompished to catch that mouse which has been eluding me in my house..... All this was done by Mesa who is missing two bottom and one top teeth in her mouth.... These missing teeth are yet another dramatic story in the saga of Mesa....

Friday, February 16, 2007

When you last heard from me, the plan was to be in BOSTON, and Boston we did see and do. Less than 24 hours later....

DumDumDUMMMMM....

I am sitting in a Double Tree Inn in Houston TEXAS!!!!! What an Adventure this has been!!! First off to frosty Boston with all the joys of the wind chill factors of the Arctic. We were cluelss as to the week long vacation the schools system gave the kiddos. That and the havaic of the snow storms caused all flights out of Boston to be overbooked until next Tuesday. Just these words will cause panic in any airline employee joy riding standby. So after an overnight sleep and an amazing buffet lunch of Indian food in Boston, we head back to the airport to go standby to anywhere. That anywhere put us in Cleveland and by the miracle of a delayed flight and a three minute RUN down the terminal, put us in Houston Texas!!! This is the first time I have actually stayed in Houston. Most times it has been just a layover or a connection. So for at least a day, we will venture out with a rented car and check out the sites!!! Shopping will be first since all we have are Arctic worthy clothing and Houston is hot. So very excited to discover this place... The Holocust Museum, IKEA, and the Galleria with Janie and Jack (a store I have been wanting to see).... and the FOOD. I hear that next to NYC this has the best resturants!!!!

So I am off on an adventure, something that I am all about!!! Oh how I hope Tate has this Gypsy spirit that I have!!!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Going TRIPPIN' on Wednesday for a few days!!! This time to Boston. It was too good of an offer to stay home, so off I go into the COLD weather of New England!!! I've been to Boston many times on day trips but never stayed for a few days!!! So I am off to have me some FUN!!!

Saturday, February 10, 2007

I've started my shots for China..... THREE days ago I received my DPT (Diphteria, Pertussin and Tetnus)... in my left arm!!! Really did not hurt and I am not a whimp for shots. BUT, OH MAN does it itch!!! I think it has become the size of a tennis ball. I have weighed the pros and cons of taking Benadry... Sleepiness or Itchiness.... I just popped a pill with a swig of JAVA. Just hoping I can make it thru the next 4 hours of work....

Thursday, February 08, 2007

I haven't shared this with the blogging world, but somehow I felt the need today. It is something that is on my mind and clenching at my heart. Somehow our parents seem forever young and ageless, but slowly as time creeps along and we mature, parents do also. It is not evident to our eyes until we stop and study their faces. My dad is so very fun and full of life!!! He can always find joy in most occasions. His mother and my grandmother had a habit as she got older to be watching tv and fall asleep in her chair. The acorn has not fallen too far from that tree, and just the other day I looked over to my sleeping dad in his chair. His face was totally relaxed and this is when I really got to take a close look at his age. I looked and studied and could not believe that that OLD MAN was my delightful dad. He still had his handsome face but it was saggy and full of wrinkles. His thick wavy dark hair has now turn to thin and greying. Here slept my 77 year old dad.

My 72 year old mother???? Health issues. I have spoken before that she has a slow growing Non-Hodgkins lymphoma..... treatable when it flares up, but not curable. Twenty years is guessed by the Doctors before this will end her life..... TWENTY years is a long time, and I am OK with this!!! But this was not a guarentee that this will be her only aging problem. I guess with lymphoma, there is more of an increase of the likelihood of other immune suppressed illnesses. Last Decemeber I sat in the ER with a a pain ridden momma. Unexplained jabbing pain in her head.... a headache that brought on nausea. After two CT's of neck and head, and a LP (fluid taken from her spinal cord) she was send home with not knowing WHAT was causing all this pain. Fast forward three days later, and out pops Shingles on her right side of the face and head down her neck. She is all cleared up from the shingles and we have dealt with this. Ah, but the fun has not ended there. A week ago I received a call from her about a strange incident that had occured in the middle of the night. This incident effected her speech and moter skills..... but subside after a few hours. There was NO WAY this lady was going to go check it out and she went on her merry way. SUPER BOWL SUNDAY.... After I arrived at my parent's house for the Super Bowl, I notice that Mom had a hard time grasping words and expressing herself. I guess that she noticed a difference once again in her motor and speech on Saturday and then again on Sunday. I am sorry, but the Super Bowl is not that important, and I wisked my mom to the ER. She was admitted with TIA's (mini-strokes) and had a total work-up. The Doctor did warn that if TIA's go untreated, she would most certainly have a major stroke in just a few months. After three days in the hospital and countless of assessments and scans, she has returned home on a heart monitor worn for two weeks and MORE medication...... UGH!!! The initial stress is over and I have had a doozie of a headache.... NO SHINGLES or TIA'S for me though. SO... when it is time for my China trip to get Tate, I am hoping that we have all medicial needs in order and Mom will be traveling healthy and carrying her 5 lbs worth of medicines. I am a little concerned the what if something were to happen to her in China. I have heard of the nightmare hospitals. I guess I will do my usual Scarlette O'Hara behavior and figure tomorrow will be another day.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Nine months ago I posted about Utah FCC missing in action. I needed to have connection with others that were going through the same stuff I was. Both Veterans and Newbies!!! Ask and you shall find.....

UTAH FCC CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

YEAR OF THE PIG!!!

I actively belong to two groups now. Last Summer, about the time I was missing this connection, I got a call from a gal who was interested in working with my agency. Little did I know that this was the beginning of our Single Woman Adopt China (SWAC) group. At the beginning, we all were six women all waiting, except for Marque who has Liza and is an inspiration to us all. Since the start of this group of 5 waiting, one is home...ELIZA, one is in China right now... CHARLEE, and then there is me... TATE and Leanne... Baby LI who are still.....WAITING. We try to meet once a month with this month being the Utah FCC Chinese New Year celebration. This was my first FCC activity and it was FUN!!!!

Eliza was the soup de jour... and the most recent gal home. This is Eliza and I.... She is so amazinging cute and has a personality to match her cuteness!!!!

On the left is Marque, our inspiration and her daughter, Liza who is smart and sweet and beautiful and so very amazing..... Tiffany is holding from Inner-Mongolian her sweet gal, Eliza.

Tiffany made this outfit especially for this Chinese New Year celebration... so cute!!

This cuteness is Leanne and Eliza..... We cannot wait until Leanne has her baby Li in her arms....

WAITING FAMILIES GROUP!!!

Back in January, I recieved an email from Leanne..... A waiting families group was starting up!!! The spearhead of this group is Tawni (left) and waiting family member, Andrea. Last night we had the second (my first, though) Waiting Families Gathering. It was so fun meeting others in the area that are adopting and going through the long wait with me. I was brought to tears, just meeting these amazing families and feeling the love and support from them.... While there, I realized out of this group of 11 waiting families I am the first to get my referral for Tate!!! This is the first time in any gathering that I am the first!!! It is so very overwhelming and touching to know that there are families out there waiting and anticipating each and every Stork flying with me....

Friday, February 02, 2007

A big sigh of relief for me..... My Dossier have made it through the review room!!!! I was so worried that they would have so many question on my Dossier.... SINGLE??? AGE (almost 50 in March)??? WEIGHT??? INCOME???? I guess everyone worries until they see that magicial posting on CCAA..... It really did not help that EVERY TIME I mentioned to my Mom something that might seem like I had worries, she jumped right on it and reinforced my doubts. She really doesn't know she does this and out of love she is just trying to protect me for having my heart broken.... She did this the whole time I was with my BoyToy or want to try something a little risky. I know that as parents, we fall back on how we were parented..... My Mom was such a loving and fun parent..... These are the things I will try to epitomize while falling back on my parenting of Tate.

Does anyone feel they are being missionaries for Adopting Chinese Children, especially the girls???? I feel like I am looking for people to join in on Adopting these little amazing girls. Just today, I was having a contractor come and bid on replacing my windows in the front room and dining rooms. I asked him about his family, three boys and no girls. I shared with him that I was in the process of adopting from China.... He was so interested because he has a good friend who is in the (also long) process of adopting from Vietnam. I asked him point blank if he was considering adopting a girl and that he really need a little daughter to round out all those boys. I am finding myself doing this way too much!!! I hope I am not offending people by suggesting this but it is my passion right now and I just want so many people to feel the love and the joy I am experiencing even before I hold my Tate. My Tate??? Do I sound possessive??? I will not possess Tate, it is just she is MY everything.... The SUN. The MOON. The STARS.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Can you just feel the energy coming off of my HIGH SPEED INTERNET CONNECTION???? Smoke is just a whizzing off of my keyboard as I am madly pushing keys getting from one BLOG to the NEXT..... I am speed reading each and every one of your blogs.... NO TIME TO COMMENT, yet. But soon, oh so very soon when I am on board with everyone's information you will hear from me!!!! How did I make it without my Internet connection???? Ten torturous days out of the loop, with only little sneak peeks from work or while on lunch. BUT.... I am back and so very glad to be.... TONS of thoughts on my mind. And of course will be sharing them ALL.