DJ: I'm so frustrated. I can understand people having their comments and disagreeing with what I have to say, but y'all are horrible! Now I'm a coon, I'm ignorant, I'm stupid — how did all of this come from that?! I mean, wow. Y'all are going hard! The emails have been worse than comments on the gossip blogs. It's terrible. I didn't mean any harm.

CN: Can you see though how some would take that comment to mean that the hair that grows out of our scalps naturally is not good enough?

When I talk to natural hair advocates, it’s never middle ground - it’s "our way or no way." And there’s also the belief that if a woman get’s a relaxer or gets a weave, then she’s less of a Black woman.

DJ: Yes, I do see that. It’s only black people that have this issue though. You don’t see white women walking around with their "natural hair cause." They get color, they get perms to enhance their curls. You don’t see other cultures when after altering their hair texture, have a come to Jesus moment — they don’t have this natural hair revelation. We go so hard on it and that’s where I get lost.

When I talk to natural hair advocates, it’s never middle ground — it’s "our way or no way." And there’s also the belief that if a woman get’s a relaxer or gets a weave, then she’s less of a Black woman. Those things are just harsh and just one sided. It’s not cool. People have choices and if you want to put a relaxer in, that makes you no less Black than the next.

CN: On that much, we agree. And I want to note that the typical CurlyNikki reader is not the militant natural you speak of. We are inclusive and non-judgmental. "Do you boo boo" is our motto. My concern about what you said, whether you used "some" or "all," is the sentiment that our hair needs to be managed and smoothed to be attractive or to get the desired results. This assumes that we all want the same "desired result" and it suggests that some textures aren't acceptable.

Do you work with natural hair?

DJ: Um, yes. My thought behind it is, people say "relaxers damage the hair." No, the person that applied the relaxer damaged the hair. People are not well versed in the use of chemicals and people automatically assume that hair can’t be healthy with a relaxer. But if you’re natural and you come into a salon and get it pressed every week, that’s no better. If that’s the case, you should just get a relaxer so you don’t have that constant heat.

CN: Is natural hair great hair or the greatest?

DJ: The greatest.

CN: Good answer. You didn’t say, how many natural clients do you have?

DJ: The majority of my clients are natural. But they’re natural underneath the weave.

CN: That so doesn't count! How many twist-outs have you done? How many 'fros have you shaped?

DJ: No, no, no. I don’t do no natural hair styles. All my natural clients are either getting their hair pressed or getting a weave.

CN: Are you familiar with the natural hair community online? Do you watch Youtube videos?

DJ: No, not really.

CN: Okay, so here's the thing. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to have this discussion. There are a ton of talented stylists that have no clue what to do with natural hair, and unfortunately, you're among the ranks. As the king of fantasy hair, you've got some catching up to do in this natural hair game. How would you feel about doing some homework?

DJ: Well, what do you have in mind?

CN: Your homework is to watch an hour of Youtube videos a week, specifically the channels of Chary Jay, Naptural85, and Naturalnessdotcom, as well as peruse the CurlyNikki.com archives and forum. Get real familiar.

You will not only become a natural hair advocate, but develop proficiencies in helping women transition from relaxed to natural, and styling natural hair — not just in weaves. You will report back to the CurlyNikki community with all you’ve learned culminating in the styling of my intern, friend and fellow blogger Taneica of GlassDolls — on camera. It is only at this time that you get your redemption and earn your #teamnatural card.

I think beauticians/stylists should learn or improve their skills on working with kinky hair. The relaxer is used is make black/kinky hair look like white hair. We are ok or beautiful as we are. We as a people have let the media make us think we must look like others. The beauticians I have met offer a relaxer as the first styling solution. So sad.

I don't agree with extremism or nasty comments (including #2 here about Crack Ho's). The problem with the comment that some people need relaxers is that he had never done research on any alternatives, and that people who are not familiar with natural hair (especially Black natural hair) take the comments of a Black hairstylist as law. Although he didn't mean anything mean by it, others can take the comment to mean that Black women can do anything with their hair, that it has to be changed, that there is something wrong with it. He also doesn't seem to get that some of us just want to do what is easier for us. I personally didn't have a 'come to Jesus moment' with my hair. Why should he think something as extreme as that? Because he only deals with weaves and pressing combs and doesn't know any better. Thanks to Nikki for trying to educate him.

No one needs anything. It's a simple want. Relaxers is a choice, and one of the many choices African American women/men can do to their hair. It's not their last resort or something that has to be done for manageability. What it boils down to is women/men learning to take care of their hair before chemicals hit it. I think it's the basic key to maintaining healthy hair before or after alterations (i.e. chemicals, cuts, products, etc.) Many females I know in my area have never experienced this because the first thing their parent(s) do to a girl's head is slap chemicals in it for whatever reason. So the girl never gets a chance to see or nurture her natural hair because this is all she knows.
I used to be one of them. I do disagree with the extremism that some individuals do take when they finally have their "eye-opener" about being natural.

Lord, some of these black women NEED a relaxer of the brain, heart and spirit to counter all this overreaction. Fact is, MOST black women getting their feelings hurt over what these hairstylist are saying were creamy crack hos thatlongago! Attacking the man like a wild banshee over such an offhanded comment just demonstrates how insecure some women in the "natural hair movement" are. I love the way Nikki kept her dignity about the subject without beating the man to a pulp. If more black women were as secure with their curls and kinks as she is all this internet bruhaha would be unnecessary.