A man beat a 16-month-old boy to death for being too feminine last Sunday. Pedro Jones, 20, allegedly punched his girlfriend’s son Roy Jones (not related) repeatedly with closed fists and grabbed him by the neck while he was babysitting him. The child was in cardiac arrest when police arrived at the scene on the Shinnecock Indian Reservation on Long Island, NY, and he later died at the hospital. The elder Jones confessed the crime to troopers, saying he was “trying to make him act like a boy instead of a little girl.”

A little girl. I can almost hear the venom in his voice. The hatred. The disgust. A little girl: subhuman, vile.

He told reporters he didn’t mean to do it. “I never struck that kid that hard before. A one-time mistake, and I am going to do 20 years.” He never struck him that hard before. I can only imagine what little Roy endured over the course of his short life. Gender non-conforming children and youth experience an extremely high level of harassment, alienation, violence and murder. The perception that one is gay or trans can make that person a vulnerable target. Something about Roy struck Pedro as insufficiently masculine, and Pedro made him pay with his life.

This is why I wasn’t amused when my co-worker told me her husband removed their toddler son from a park after he became interested in playing with a pink toy. Of course that’s not the same thing as murder, but it’s a difference in degree rather than kind. They exist on the same bigoted spectrum. The gender policing of little boys, especially, happens constantly, all around us. If masculinity is inborn, why must it be beat into a child? Rest in peace, baby.

31 Responses to “Patriarchy hurts babies too”

i am chilled to the core after reading this. He moans about paying for his crime with 20 years of his life. Yet, he casually dismisses the taking of Pedro’s life by not realizing the magnitude and cruelty of his actions.

i wish i could say this is the first time i’ve heard of such brutality. but i can not. i’ve cared for numerous babies/infants/toddlers brought in the the emergency room battered and broken. i didn’t always manage to find out the reason behind the abuse. that’s a mute point for me anyway.

and to think…our tax dollars will feed, clothe, and possibly educate this monster for the next 20 years.

I have done everything in my power to deprogram my daughter from thinking there are “boy things” and “girl things.” I never want her to believe that there are stigmas attached to liking certain things. She has her fair share of “girly” things like Barbies and Disney princesses, but she also has Lincoln Logs and toy cars, and likes dinosaurs and airplanes.

We, as a society, are going to have to start to accept that not everything about human beings is black and white, and that the body’s form is just that: a form. Not a static mold, but a fluid shape. Of course, it will be several generations yet, before such an idea can even take root; we’re having enough trouble getting it through people’s heads that homosexuality is a natural state, as valid as heterosexuality.

I cannot think of a punishment terrible enough for that guy. My blood is boiling.

My son is 16 months now and I can tell you he enjoys his stuffed dolls just as much as his trucks just as much as his pots and pans just as much as his books just as much as he likes putting on my headbands and necklaces. Kids that age aren’t being feminine or masculine – they’re KIDS.

I don’t think it’s even a matter of being gender non-conforming when you’re 16 months old. You’re just a baby. I don’t know a single child that age who has any idea what their “appropriate” forms of play are – that seems to come much later, after society/commercials/parents teach it to them.

Oh yeah I don’t think so either, Blondegrlz. Although clearly if he picked up a baby doll or something in front of Pedro, he was perceived that way. Just mentioning that to draw attention to the fact that older kids who don’t perform gender the “right” way are especially vulnerable to violence.

“I never struck that kid that hard before. A one-time mistake, and I am going to do 20 years.”

Can’t you just hear the whining in this quote? It was just a mistake! Poor me. Sick. What a disgusting piece of shit, he should rot in prison for the next 50 years. His lack of remorse should be introduced as evidence during the sentencing phase.

Horrible, horrible, horrible. 20 years is too short, IMO, esp. if he only serves 2/3 of the sentence, as often happens.

Hell, I’m not even sure that I buy that “trying to make him act like a little boy” was even the real reason for the murder. Could be that this sadistic fuck just thought that was a legitimate excuse that might buy him a lighter sentence.

I agree with Blondegrlz that little kids don’t have gender roles. Even at a mature three, my son doesn’t have much of an idea that there’s any difference between his dolls and his cars. He starts preschool soon, so I suspect that will change.

What I wonder, though, is if this is even about what we see as gender roles and what a hyper-patriarchal man might see. I wonder if the poor child preferred pink or babydolls or broke some other stereotype, or if just cried more than this guy thought was acceptable or, even more heartbreakingly, flinched and cried when he was hit. Because to us, gender frequently means the things you do or the games you play. But for this horrible man, acting girl might have meant, literally, acting like a baby.

That poor child. May he find peace in death that he was denied in life, and may those who could have prevented his terror and torment never find peace at all.

I agree with Blondegrlz that little kids don’t have gender roles. Even at a mature three, my son doesn’t have much of an idea that there’s any difference between his dolls and his cars.

Of course little kids have gender roles. Newborn clothing is gendered. Toys are gendered. Literally, everything in a child’s life is gendered from the moment people discover its sex. That the child doesn’t *know* what’s going on doesn’t change that. If they don’t know the difference between dolls and cars it’s because they haven’t been brainwashed yet. But that doesn’t stop older people from projecting their gender hangups onto children. If someone thinks it’s wrong for a ten year old boy to dress up like a princess they’re going to feel the same way about a 16 month old boy.

I had the same thought you did regarding “acting like a baby.” Crying about a boo-boo, perhaps.

You’re right, Sarah, that there are external gender roles. I guess I meant that I don’t think little kids have their own gender identities. That doesn’t come until they’ve learned about the societal stuff and started figuring out their own place in that.

This breaks my heart. And thank you for pointing out that this act is on the same spectrum as all those little remarks and actions that seem okay to so many people today. Yesterday we had a birthday party for my 3 year old son, and he had been begging for a month for “a microwave, a fridge, and a whole kitchen”. Asking for the same toy for an entire month is pretty uncommon for my child, so I took this request pretty seriously.

At his party, we unveiled a play kitchen that was scaled for a toddler, complete with pots and dishes and all the appliances. He spent the entire evening cooking us imaginary food and then doing dishes; he’d drive to the imaginary store to pick up more food. He wanted to sleep in the living room with his kitchen rather than in his bed.

But even with all this obvious joy at getting just what he wanted, one relative couldn’t help but observe within my hearing that it was good he got all the little trucks and the bug-catching stuff to balance out the kitchen.

It breaks my heart to read this article, because I recognize that my sweet son who carries a baby doll and a plastic dinosaur everywhere with him, who cooks imaginary food and hunts imaginary monsters, will probably be teased and bullied and encouraged to conform to a masculine role. It’s not as horrific as being killed, not by any means, but he may still lose a part of what makes him *him*.

I thought this was a good article on the same story. I don’t really even know what else to say – I’m just so disgusted by this. I’m working on a piece about “what makes you gay” – a look at the ambiguous events that homophobes think “turn” a straight person into a gay person.

You know, it’s more amazing to me that he whined about his one little mistake costing him 20 years in prison, than that he hit a kid for being too girly.

This guy seems to be a perfect example of my belief that masculinity is at it’s base a mental illness defined by an utter inability to see other people as human. Men who value masculinity seem to value people’s humanity in proportion to their masculinity–hence the degrading and dehumanizing nature of pornography marketed to Manly Man Men, the catcalls and harassment, the ease with which so many men rape women, the casual dismissal of women’s emotions, the violence of war and other masculine things. The fact that this guy literally ended the entire life–a lot more than 20 years in prison–of another human isn’t even registering as weighty. He cannot see that the baby was a person, a little human with an entire reality and consciousness of it’s own. He could only see the baby as it relates to his own life.

I can hardly read this. It makes me want to lock my 2-year-old son and my 6-month-old son away from the world. Even though I know they will meet people like this anyway.

My older son loves his toys, stuffed animals, dolls, and usually carries as many of them as he can possibly stuff in his hands and arms, naming several of them “Beebee” (baby). Why not? He’s got a beebee brother, whom he loves and cares for. Because he has watched me pump breastmilk, he puts pouring cups over his nipples in the bath to be like mommy. I think it’s adorable. But such behavior would have gotten him killed in another household. I just can’t bear the idea.

And the sheer gall of the guy, as though any hitting were acceptable, and he’s so put-upon. ARGHHH!

I really wonder what the justice system, rooted in patriarchy and white supremacy (note that the victim was Native American) will make of this. I hope that this man gets fair punishment, but I fear he’ll get away with a light sentence due to the way the system works.

absolutely brutal and heart breaking. this is just horrible on so many levels. just 20 years? and as others have pointed out, his “remorse” consists of how this affects him, “now i am going to do 20 years” not “now his mother and the rest of the family and friends must live their lives without him” or “his life is over by my heavy hand”. and the reference to it being a “one time mistake”…those statements alone deserve and additional sentencing. peace to all

What gets me the most is that he believes that 20 years is too harsh for killing a child. A healthy, living, breathing child, who still had around 75-77 years to live, based on the average life expectancy of someone born last year.
He took away more than 70 years of someone’s life, and he is upset that 20 years are being taken from him?
20 years, provided the court gives him the maximum sentence, and he is unable to get out on parole.

My brother and I played with barbies for years on end. ..Although my version of playing tended to be practicing voodoo.
Ahem.
Point is: I’ve most certainly been raised to go whichever way I choose in girliness or tomboyishness. The same is said for my brother, and my sister.
It’s horrifying that assholes are STILL THINKING LIKE THIS.
I’m a relatively masculine girl in the way I move and act. A lot of folks decide that makes me a lesbian because “no heterosexual or bisexual girl would act that way! Everyone knows lesbians are just dudes in girls bodies!”
It’s sickening, how much crap is dished out to guys for having feelings, or seeming female for whatever reason, and that girls have to act in such a way to be accepted.

this man is a prime example of why i believe in the death penalty for certain crimes. he murdered a little boy in a fit of rage, whatever the real reason may be, and then shows absolutely no remorse for the crime, merely chagrin for being punished. why should he get the luxury of three hots and a cot for the next 20 years, at our expense? hanging’s cheaper. and after all, we don’t hesitate to put down a rabid dog, do we?

Well I was a little girl raised mainly by my dad and I was allowed to play with action men, skateboards, swords, dinosaurs, guns, rockets, etc. I also had my hair cut short and refused to wear skirts. I remember being told by some nosy woman that a fire engine was ‘a boys’ toy’. As it happens I’ve grown up to be a fairly well-rounded adult with no gender issues, I happen to be straight but if I happened to fancy a woman it wouldn’t bother me. Oh and I still like dinosaurs

On a more serious note: This man is clearly sick and cruel but I think what is most telling is that he was so afraid of any expression of feminity or even weakness from a boy he had to beat the little thing to death. So sad.

no. this is wrong. this is admitted? and we are not going to take his life? why?

i want him dead. i don’t care if he himself was a victim of abuse, or has been under pressure from a hypocritical society. i want his life ended.

even if you never have a child. even if having children isnt for you… you know to never ever hurt something that precious and pure. was he under the influence?– i dont care at this point… i want the mother in jail for leaving him with that monster… and i want this man painfully executed.

and we are feminists? lets talk about the mother… let us give her some responsibility in this. im sure she knew her boyfriend and his views.

What really pisses me off about reading this whole article is that I feel like I see it all the time. Not the killing, mind you, but the lack of respect and care for their child’s need to explore different things and ideas. Children don’t care about your self imposed gender roles, they just want to be happy and be their curious little selves.
I work at a photo studio, where the majority of our customers are parents bringing in their young children and babies to capture some memories. Just the other day a mother brought in her son and was trying to get him to play with some building blocks so we could get an adorable photo of him. But instead he wanted to play with the basket of flowers. I, personally, wouldn’t have had a problem with it. It made him smile and laugh, he was happy and that’s my job – making happy children so I can capture something truly beautiful for the parents to remember that child’s age by. And it was still adorable photography to boot. But the mother was furious. She hit him in studio and complained that it was too feminine and his father would never accept it. Needless to say… it hurt me to see this. And you’d be surprised by how often it happens. Not just with fathers and their children but with mothers too. Everyone is so hung up on gender roles, they don’t even worry about the happiness of another living thing, even if its their child. They just want people to see what society wants to see. I’m always scared for the children that have to suffer the opinions and oppressions of the adult influences around them. And even children 5+ suffer it through peer pressure at school and day care centers.
Just the thought of it really makes me sick.

The murderer was bemoaning his supposed 20 sentence. Well, Mr. Homophobic Child-Murderer, you won’t have to even think of that. We’ll all be lucky as twinkle fairies if you even get convicted of manslaughter and serve 6 years. Odds are, it will be pled down to a lesser charge and you’ll serve less than 2 years…….for wantonly killing a little boy for NO FUCKING REASON.

Let’s all hope that Mr. Homophobic Child-Murderer meets a cruel and life-ending fate in prison.

This is just disgusting. I am constantly horrified by how vile some sections of our society still are…

I work in a children’s shop, and it really irritates me when the parents actively dissuade and mock their little boys when they try on hair clips or necklaces. “No, Timmy, that’s for GIRLS. Are you a little GIRL are you?” (all said in much the same way a mocking bully in primary school would say it).

My own cousin loves jewellry, styling hair, watching ‘chick flicks’ with me, make up, playing mermaids etc – he’s 8. Most of my family judge him and actively try and put a stop to these things, telling him that his behaviour is wrong – they have even expressed fears that he will “become a little fag”. It makes me so ridiculously angry/sad, but I try my best to let him know he’s perfect and should always do what he loves.

Of course this man will only get a slap on the wrist for his crime! as the courts and internal structure that had to prosecute him probably agree with his views more than anyone, as they too are more than likely a patriarchal system themselves. To them he was doing society a favor by removing one who may have grown up “queer” or “confused”, only to give him a minimal sentence to avoid bad press.

This is indeed a heart-wrenching history, but I for one find a strange sort of comfort in the comments it has inspired.

Masculinity values strength. The ‘masculinity’ running rampant in our culture today is born of fear, not strength. It is an abomination, especially since it completely refuses to support respectful balance with femininity.

But it is getting better. And it will keep getting better if we refuse to let the little stuff slide. I for one do not encourage children to ‘ignore’ bullies, I encourage them to confront them. Too many of our natural relationship processes are being suppressed–too often resulting in eruptions of cruelty and rash instinct. This kid should not have been raised to fear femininity so fiercely and he sure as hell shouldn’t have been trusted with a toddler more than once.