So I know that I dont date often and I have never been in a relationship, My best friend told me " Why dont you like guys back? guys like you but you dont like them back" okay well after laughing I gave it some thought, its not that I dont luv back its that I am old fashioned in the sense that I dont hook up and I dont put out easily and alot of guys cant seem to accept that.... am I to settled on my high horse? should I loosen up? I dont think so lol what do you guys think?

So I know that I dont date often and I have never been in a relationship, My best friend told me " Why dont you like guys back? guys like you but you dont like them back" okay well after laughing I gave it some thought, its not that I dont luv back its that I am old fashioned in the sense that I dont hook up and I dont put out easily and alot of guys cant seem to accept that.... am I to settled on my high horse? should I loosen up? I dont think so lol what do you guys think?

Gold Member

Give someone a hint or signal that you are interested. Doesn't mean you have to compromise yourself, but in all fairness you really have to give the other personal something to believe in.

I have friends like yourself and joke with them by calling their way of dating a 12 step program or point system. No matter how beautiful or hung they are, folks have bad taste their mouth and there are resentment (yeah in older folks trust me and they don't forget)

Give someone a hint or signal that you are interested. Doesn't mean you have to compromise yourself, but in all fairness you really have to give the other personal something to believe in.

I have friends like yourself and joke with them by calling their way of dating a 12 step program or point system. No matter how beautiful or hung they are, folks have bad taste their mouth and there are resentment (yeah in older folks trust me and they don't forget)

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Yes I know what you mean, I wont compromise yourself, but I am not even asking for that much, I mean I love and give good coversation and great chemestry in the first few dates oor hang out sessions but I have had guys dump me because that isnt enough for them

When you are 50, do you think you will look back and be glad you stuck to your principles or will you think that you should have banged everything in sight while you still could.
Only you can make the decision but just make sure you make the one that doesnt leave you with regrets.

I never compromised for a relationship when I found a guy i wanted to be in a relationship with..... doesn't mean I did not feed my baser instincts at times & go for "just a fuck". My partner & I dated for a while before we became exclusive(with no sex). He was playing around & I wanted more with him. I told him flat out, we are not just going to jump in the sack. He was okay with that. Neither of us were actively seeking a relationship at the time. It grew over a period of a couple months. When we decided that we would take it to the next level, I told him flat out here is the deal. I think you are worth my undivided attention, more importantly if you want to work on the two of us having a long term relationship I am WORTH your undivided attention. 16 years later we are still together. Don't compromise yourself. Doesn't mean you can't still have a fling, just don't do it with someone you are really interested in. Make sure if you just want to get laid, you treat it as such.

Personally, I think you are doing fine. An occasional one night stand won't hurt you though.

I'm going to go out on a limb here but if any of the guys that like you and want more from you have ever seen you naked, my guess would be that it's only to get in your pants and experience that gorgeous cock. If they've never seen you naked (or heard rumors) than they're the slut. Stick to your guns but if you really find someone interesting be sure to let them know it in some way. You don't have to compromise your beliefs but being more friendly will work to your advantage.

Gold Member

.... am I to settled on my high horse? should I loosen up? I dont think so lol what do you guys think?

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I completely agree with dolfette that you shouldn't abandon what works for you. There's nothing wrong with wanting to take some time in getting to know a guy. There's nothing wrong with that, and there's nothing wrong with you for wanting it.

That being said, I think it's important to have a clear way to demonstrate that, yes, you're interested, which is what it sounds like your friend thinks you're not doing. When I started dating I thought that people were just attracted to each other, and if you stayed that way long enough a relationship would grow out of it; turns out, there's a lot more to things than that. Conveying attraction requires a lot of communication, verbal and physical.

So while I don't think you're settled on any high horse, I do think it's important to make sure you're conveying what your intentions are. If that's what you're already doing, stay the course, good sir.