how much is too much? there is information one can’t un-know or un-see. part of me tell me he will come out okay and everything will be fine and the other half of me thinks that if it comes to the worse, it would be best to let go and wish for the best. i don’t really know if i am being selfish but it is in your hands now. whatever decision you make will be okay with me as long as i am able to say goodbye.

a thunder stormed rolled in while i was sleeping, it was very random as my whole day has been. i went up for a cup on the top shelf and twist the wrong way of some sort and pop my shoulder socket. there was some pain and i quickly bumped into the door frame just in case i had dislocated my shoulder. throughout the day i had sharp pain through my shoulder. the aspirin i took wasn’t working and quite possibly needed something stronger. i also was trying to be reintroduced to a clown that haunted my dreams when i was really young and to this day still creeps me out. good night and happy dreams.

today has been mostly about dealing with the news of yesterday, i will not be at ease until my parents return, they have already been through one scare on their last trip out of the state, i would be there with them, i just don’t have a passport, i know i should have gotten it but i have held it off for too long. since today was not as cheerful i decided to listen to music all day, i still had my new years project to work on. i found several undiscovered songs and wish to use them. i fell asleep listen to music and woke up to take off my headphones and here the thunder outside, tumbler was scared and kept getting up because the floor would shake. time to get some more sleep, good night and dream freely.

well its been about a week now, it was time to get stuff done for a change, i am starting off the new year with some not so great news, in these past two months our family has lost three people because of illnesses. i don’t know what else is happening around the world, just in my world. we received a phone call early in the morning about the passing away of a cousins’ child. he passed away of leukemia. a few days ago we had another relative pass away with aids; i did mention it before in my previous blogs. then we received news of my uncle being admitted in the hospital for unrelated occurrences. my parents had to go out of the state and well, country. i did have a great conversation and i am super glad i was able to talk to you today, like i told you there are days i just don’t know what to say. i do miss our long talks we used to have. there are a few things i wish for but i will have to wait and see what will happen. i have to go attend to my family right now. good night and happy dreaming.

i have been glued to my music folders in search for all the music i wish to put together for a new years album. it’s late and giving myself a headache. i took a break to watch a basketball game to rid my mind of music for a bit. and then had to get back to working and figuring out what i want and what i don’t. i have filled up a notebook using a permanent marker to get a representation of what i want and what i don’t. going to tell you early to have a good night and sweet dreams.

why must you keep doing this too me? i told you many of time because of what you did to me, i never want to hear from you ever again. it’s unforgivable and i have no room for you in my life. say what you want but what you did trumps anything i could ever do to a person. in other words goodbye.

on a side note, today was very productive. i was running around and driving around everywhere. i got all i needed done. i started working on my project to forget what happened earlier. time to get back to work. catch you later.

i was able to post a few pictures of of the party. what i didn’t want to say yesterday was i thought i would never release emotions like i did on the drive back home. i was super grateful for the opportunity that was presented to me. i was sad that i was leaving it all behind and having to get back to the real world. i took some advice from a friend who recommended some classes online and have started listening to the classes. it was a logic class and everything they were mentioning i had already learned in philosophy class. i am going to get to learning and filling my brain with knowledge because i miss school and am excited to go back. catch you later.

i kept thinking my weekend was already over but when i checked the calendar it was just beginning. when i woke up everyone was still sleeping, it was funny because they still partied during the night and all i had was two beers and a glass of champagne during the new years toast, the rest of the time friends kept bring me water. so glad i drank water instead. it was everyones recovery day, people didn’t want to get up out of bed or didn’t want to do anything. since i was the only one that was in good condition i made a few errands while in town. we later met up with a few friends for dinner and i had a energy drink where my hands and arms were still sore from trying to pump up the crowd. we are going to be headed home to rest before going to bed. good night and sweet dreams.

i first off have to say happy new years everyone, twenty-ten was good to me and i hope twenty-eleven will grant me all the wishes i have ever asked for in the past. i need to thank everyone for inviting me and making the masquerade baller happen. it is early and i am already awake. i was surprised as most people were during the party, i was nervous for the whole day and was in need of some help, with a simple conversation i was finally able to calm down, thank for your help. going to head to breakfast and enjoy the new year. i meant everything i told you. have a great day. =)

what a day! woke up and had to do a few loads of laundry. nothing drastic but it had to be done. since the new year is around the corner i haven’t cut my hair in a few weeks. while i was there i was looking at a hair book, thought i would change it up a bit but i didn’t have enough hair to complete some of the new looks i decided to keep it plain and simple. before i got up the barber asked me if i wanted a design since i had cut it like a few people who ask for the request i asked for. it reminded me of a day you showed me a picture and i joked around saying i would. it made me laugh and giggle for a little while. my brother wanted me to put lightning bolts, as cool as it sounds i don’t think i would ever do it. during that i received a phone call from my brother and had to call him back. when i did he gave me some great news. i have to prepare a few things and i have an early morning departure from home. i get to be put to work for the new year. i am very grateful for this. i hope all had a good day and happy early-ish birthday. =) time for me to sleep. good night and sweet dreams.

i just overloaded my self with too much to do today. ever since i woke up i had something to do, i did wake up later then usual that’s besides the point. i was woken up to tumbler laying across my feet, he was trying to wake me up but not trying to be subtle about it, he had business to take care of too. i opened my computer and logged into my email and found a few dozen unchecked emails, some were reminders and some were un-important, the one that mattered the most was about me returning my textbook from where i rented it from. i rushed and washed up and got ready to head off in town to tak care of it. i made it just in time and got my tracking number to trace if they have received it or not in time. i made a quick stop to the store and piked up a few items and got home to make dinner. hours later i was inspired to try to finish my project. after looking through over thousands of songs i gave myself a headache and overloaded my brain with small text. i got what i needed and have some work to do tomorrow. its late and i am about to shower and go to sleep. i will catch up soon. good night and sweet dreams. =)