Well … I did something I never thought I would do. I can’t believe I’m not upset yet … about it. So, that means I won’t be getting upset. I have burned a bridge behind me, one that I can’t go back on.

I got rid of almost all my clothes this weekend. So many still had price tags on them, so many never worn … some worn only a few times. Why?

Because my weight has been like a yo-yo … up and down constantly. I gain it, I lose it … I gain it. I am an expert on … gaining weight. I used to lose it easily … the older one gets, it seems to get harder to lose.

I am keeping my mind on my photos when I was little … it felt so wonderful. I look forward! 🙂

I’ve lost 20 lbs … I am fighting to keep them off. I want to go on to lose this excess weight. It really feels good to feel thinner … I want to go back to a size 9-10, and I will succeed. My mind is set on it. I mean to lose it … so, it will happen.

I’ve never-ever had so few clothes, shoes! My closet is completely empty, excepting the shelves have some pretty shoes lined up. My handbags, scarves, and such are hanging pretty. I have a few dressy clothes hanging up. They will have to do until I’ve dropped a significant amount of weight … only then, will I allow myself to get anything new.

I did begin to panic one time, but stopped. I bet you wondered what I did with all those nice clothes. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. I’ll tell you, anyway.

I took them to a flea market … anyone that wanted to buy them I told them I was selling each blouse, pants for $2.00 each. No one could believe it …. a lot of my clothes were name-brand. Many had tags hanging on them where I’d gained weight … never got to wear them!

I am looking forward to being this little again … my photos of being small inspire me! 🙂

I still had a ‘ton’ of clothes when it came time to leave, plus a beautiful winter coat that Skip got for me just before Tommy died. I never wore it much, he gave $150.00 for it.

Beautiful Coat Skip got for me … I gave it to the woman yesterday! 🙂

Well, earlier a woman came and bought a lot of things from me. I saw her, called her over. Do you know what I did? Yes, you are right? That’s like me to do that!

I gave her all those beautiful clothes, and not only that! I gave her a very tall box of … beautiful shoes, in all styles, and colors.

Was she happy? Yes! Was I happy? When I saw her expression … yes! I know I would love to be given such nice things! Wouldn’t that be fun, amazing all at the same time? I was excited for her! 🙂 Oh … I gave her that beautiful coat, too! I was so happy because I had made her happy. I know it sounds strange … I am like that.

I can’t wait to lose this weight! I look very forward to taking photos with ‘too big’ clothes! 🙂

When I can afford to, and have lost a significant amount of weight … I will replace my clothes. Am I panicking? I’m amazed … no, I’m not.

Now … this is why I did it. I have decided that I’m not living the rest of my life overweight. I love being small too much to ruin the rest of my life with excess weight. I … lost myself … when my only child, my son Tommy, died. I am finding … me … again. I don’t even want to be ‘pleasingly plump’.

I mean not to be ‘fat’ anymore. I can’t turn back now … I have no more ‘fat clothes’ to run to … and I can’t afford to buy big clothes again! 🙂

I’ve burned a major bridge behind me … there’s no turning back.

I’m on a new road in my life … one that I knew years ago … I can’t wait to be little again. 🙂

Note by this Author:

This is very true, and just happened. I’m not panicking over not having many clothes! I’ve never had so few … not only that … I would have to gain weight to wear them! I’ve come too far to do that.

I’m going to be small again … I’m excited. Even if I didn’t have many clothes ever again, I’d be happy to be slender. 🙂

I’m trying to lose weight despite the medication, but my weight is hovering around 16Stone and doesn’t want to go! 😦

I’m watching how much I eat and when, but the constant hunger induced by the medication means I have to watch the clock and eat a small meal every four hours, which only keep me sated for two hours – if that!!! 😦

Even so I AM losing weight slowly and when I went to video the wedding of Sarah and Martin it was in the suit pants I bought a decade ago! 🙂

Even then I needed the belt to keep them up! 🙂

I have a ton of new clothes waiting for me to lose more body mass and I’m determined to do it! 🙂

I have cut so many things out of my diet from cheese to pizza I should have the pounds falling away, but Olanzapine seems willing to put up one hell of a fight! 😦

Prenin, I’m glad you are seeing so much of what you are wanting … weight loss. You are right … it’s the hardest thing for anyone to do because … if it was so easy … don’t you agree that everyone would be walking around thin? 🙂 Love, Gloria 🙂

I am overweight and of course want to shift some but strangely I am actually more comfortable in my own skin than I have ever been before,three slipped discs in my back a few weeks after giving birth to my son have meant 7 years of restricted movement, 2 spinal surgeries and enough meds to fill a pharmacy but I realised it does not matter what I think my body looks like or what anyone else thinks of it, the only thing that matters is slowly getting back to a point where it works as it should once more. I will never be as thin as I once was but that does not matter my aim is not a size but to be able to walk without pain or needing to stop every couple 50 metres, it will be a long journey but I am on it already one step at a time

I can truly understand all you wrote. You have been through so much, and I know you suffer much pain. Like you, getting to a place where your body works where you can function to do the things you want, need to … is most important. I hope you can get to the point where you are most happiest, and have the least pain. I do understand as my body has been through so much. I was thinking about you having not one, but 2 spinal surgeries … oh my! I’m so glad you are more comfortable than ever before, now. I enjoyed hearing from you! 🙂