I get lots of letters about all sorts of dating,
sex and relationship problems every day. Its
interesting that they so often fall into clearly
defined categories.

One of the most common comes from women that
follow various prescribed paths only to find that
they prevent or destroy their relationships. The
majority of these paths seem to come from what I
call mass-think. More specifically,
these are ideas that; while totally incorrect,
continue to be shared as fact mostly
among women. They are actually, anything BUT fact,
but Im getting ahead of myself.

Just this morning I received a response from a
woman whose question I answered yesterday. She
chided me for being wrong since she had
 read lots of others advice that
said just the opposite 

Interestingly, it was that very advice that got
her into trouble in the first place!

By following this mass-think, she was going down
the exact same failed path that so many other women
follow, yet as often as I hear about how
ineffective these beliefs are, so many continue to
promote them and so few want to believe differently
 and correctly.

Interestingly, many men fall into these failed
belief patterns too; not because the actually
follow the pattern, but instead, they just happen
to be victims themselves of the avalanche of this
same mass-think. I even hear men that even spout it
themselves without knowing any better, but when you
actually witness what they do and ask them why
 well, its exactly the opposite.

Im in the what really works
business, not the mass-think business. Thus, if you
are fully comfortable and dont want to change
the way you think, act or are, youd probably
best stop reading right here. On the other hand, if
you want to learn a little secret that you have
NEVER heard before, please read on. Just be
forewarned

Todays topic: men and the
hunt. More specifically, how women react to
their belief that men  love the
hunt  and that is somehow linked to
womens success in the dating world.

Its no surprise that women spend much of
their lives seeking out and acquiring knowledge
about men, dating and relationships. Much of this
information comes (unfortunately) from other women
and thus, there are many misunderstandings about
men and what motivates us.

In fact, men *do* love the hunt! The problem
however is that women dont really know what
that is!

You can instantly see the disconnect here. If
you are a woman and youre trying to use
methods that address mens need to hunt, but
dont know what it really is, then youre
very likely to do what my previous reader did
 simply listen to other womens mistaken
beliefs and respond to those in a me
too fashion.

Lets talk about what the hunt really is by
using an actual hunt (for live game) as an
example.

There are actually two parts to any hunt.
Theres the tracking and hunting
part, and then, theres the kill. The
differences between these two parts should be
obvious. (Right?)

When applied to dating and relationships, this
is where you girls (and some guys!) get it
wrong.

You think that by playing hard to get, being
evasive, using misdirection, speaking in
double-meaning, being vague, etc., that youre
increasing the challenge of the hunt and thus,
increasing your perceived value to men. This is
supposed to make the man work harder and become
more interested in you as a potential partner.
Its supposed to make him more willing to
following YOUR game plan and do all the things you
read about in romance novels.

Unfortunately, this simply isnt the
case.

What you dont understand is that by the
time weve found you, the hunt is
over! Were no longer on the hunt.
Were on the kill portion of our
program.

In other words, were not interested in
reaping the rewards for all our hard work!

If youre the girl that tries to extend out
that kill and some other, easier prey comes along,
guess whos going to become our new focus?
Answer: its not you.

Thats a pretty tragic mistake, dont
you think? Yet, I constantly see women making it
day in and day out.

These otherwise-great women lose the guy because
they dont understand this all-important rule
of hunting  that the hunt doesnt
actually involve them! By the time we actually find
you, the hunt is over.

I see this happening all the time. When I point
out this fact to women I often get the argument,
Well, other people [read:
women] have said this works!
This leads me to have to point out that if it
didnt work for this one, its not going
to work for others either.

Thats both tragic and sad. But for a
little education, these women could have actually
had the relationship they wanted with the guy
theyve always dreamed of. Instead, they have
to work twice as hard trying to repair the damage
in order to try to recreate the relationship hope
to have!

There are many obvious symptoms of this tragedy
by the way. If you see these, youll instantly
know why they are happening.

The guy:

Never calls

Becomes evasive and doesnt return
phone calls

Doesnt seem to be available or trying
to set-up real dates

Doesnt seem interested in getting to
know you as a person

Only calls late at night because he just
happened to be free (and usually,
drunk)

Doesnt seem to be as open about his
emotions as he was in the beginning

Seems distracted by every other person and
aspect of his life rather than you

and about 100 other symptoms resulting in
you never actually landing the guy in the first
place.

This would be a good time to re-think your game
plan. If youre hoping to get some guy
on the hunt or on the
chase, youre already too late in the
game.

I know this sounds like Im just trying to
make it easier for us guys and frankly, that is the
net effect of this. However, what Im really
trying to do is to make it easier for you
girls!

What you think are us playing games with you
isnt that at all. Were simply reacting
(poorly) to your games instead.

So, whats the alternative?

The answer is so simple, its going to make
your head spin: actually be available and
interested and engaging.

No, this DOES NOT make you look desperate! We
guys simply dont think this way! Remember:
weve already spent all this time and effort
hunting you down. If you make it difficult (or
impossible!) to actually get the prize we were
looking for, well find other, easier
prey.