Friday, 9 August 2013

So, after not posting our engagement photos on Facebook and
realising that this had no negative effect on my life whatsoever, I’ve been
enjoying sharing less on t’internet. After all, you don’t need
to know if I’m enjoying an impromptu pint on the picturesque idyll of the
common, handling birds of prey in the Cotswolds or salivating over a succulent hunk
of slow roast beef in a sunny, al fresco barbeque at the cricket club. Who
cares if I’m chewing on a piece of meat? You’re probably not that fussed that the wheels of Project
Wedding are in motion, that I’m on sparknotes in preparation for a trip to see
Hamlet or that the fourth finger of my left hand is about to become
photogenic with a touch of bling. I dunno, maybe you might have been a tad interested but I don't like to assume you would have been. Any which way, you were in no way worse off for not knowing that
these things happened. My life would have been no better had you known I was
doing these things.

Hang on – I’ve barely started and this already sounds a bit
self-righteous. It’s not meant to be. I’m not for a second suggesting that you
hold back from posting whatever takes your fancy. Go ahead and tell the world what
you had for dinner, or whatevs. I’m also not
turning all hippy and removing every trace of myself from the social media
bubble - far from it. I love Facey-B; I’m staying put! How did anyone organise anything
without it? Life pre-FB would have been a logistical nightmare. And, most
importantly, I’m definitely not declaring that I will never upload a
non-essential photo to FB again. Some things, such as afternoon tea (especially
if vintage china’s involved), rarely escape the lens of my camera.
Nothing wrong with taking a purdy pic and sharing the odd one here or there. On a similar note, neither
am I promising to refrain from posting anything inane about my day ever again
(sometimes you’ve just got to let the world know how much you want to be
Kirstie Allsopp). All I’m saying is that the refreshing feeling of not needing
to document everything has lasted. I
like it. I feel kinda free.

BUT – I’m not sure how much longer this lessened activity is
going to last. You see, last weekend, I signed my life away to Facebook’s privacy
sapping sister…

I got Instagram.

Hypocrite! I hear you cry! You can't proclaim the joy of freeing yourself from the internet and get Instagram! Instagram is for people who
overshare! People who make sure you’re aware of their every purchase and apply filters to make said purchases look more expensive! People who document
their every meal and expect you to 'like' their food! People who dress up their pets and give them a retro vibe through a slightly blurred Nashville
filter! Instagram is merely bait for opinion and is not for people like you if you really are who you claim
to be!

Well, I hear you and am very aware of the danger involved in
this move. The trouble is, there is one significant problemo: Instagram makes stuff look real nice. Like, real nice. Thus, rightly or wrongly, it turns out that there is an apparent increased desire to click share. Sadly, my current profile picture suggests that I’m already on the
slippery slope to being in your face – i'm holding an owl and a Brannan filter has been applied. And I blurred it a bit. And felt the insta-magic.

Crap.

Well, while we’re on the subject, here’s a pic of the champagne
we won in a raffle last Sunday. For charity, obvs. Just sayin’.