Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I’m in Peet’s Coffee Shop on the Sunset Strip as I write this. Just a couple minutes ago a lame-ass pseudo punk rock dickhead with a big Mohawk and a high priced leather jacket walked in. How do I know he was a dickhead? Here’s how.

He walks into the place, makes a beeline for the toilet, does his business and then leaves. Now the fact that he did not “pay the rent” by purchasing a drink already makes him a candidate for dickhead status. But maybe he’s destitute or in a big hurry, both of which I doubt, but maybe.

Here’s what makes him a dickhead for sure. I went into the toilet just after he departed and discovered he left about a cup of his piss all over the seat.

Just how much effort does it take to lift up a toilet seat? I suppose he’s all punk rock and stuff thinking, y’know, like “fuck these straight ass conventions of lifting the seat, I do what I want!” Or whatever. Or maybe he doesn’t even consider such things at all.

If you want to understand Buddhism, which I’m sure this dickhead never will, the first thing you need to understand is that, if you’re a dude, you must always lift the seat before you take a piss. You must pay your way into the club, not sneak in through then back. You are not allowed to write graffiti anywhere except in places where you are specifically encouraged to do so.

Do you get what I’m saying? Because if you’re a dickhead you never will. If you’re a dickhead you need a big long list of do’s and don’t’s and you need a guy with a big long stick standing behind you at all times to whack you over the head whenever you do one of the don’t’s or don’t do one of the do’s. You will never be a Buddhist with that attitude. And if you bring it to one of my sittings I will send you away.

Buddhist morality is lifting the seat. It’s vacuuming the carpet once a week. It’s dropping your candy wrapper in a trashcan and not on the sidewalk. These are all moral choices.

Do what is right and don’t do what is wrong. And don’t pretend you don’t know the difference because you do.

61 comments:

Anonymous
said...

I don't get this name calling thing you do. Is it just for laughs? It is as bad as pissing on a toilet seat. Maybe worse. It could be a guy just before the mohawk dude pissed on the seat. Maybe the mohawk guy just needed a mirror to check out his doo. If he would have looked in the stall, maybe he would have cleaned it up for you like you did for the next guy. Jesus Brad, You act like your mother just died.

"If you’re a dickhead you need a big long list of do’s and don’ts and you need a guy with a big long stick standing behind you at all times to whack you over the head whenever you do one of the don’ts or don’t do one of the do’s."

I always assumed the name calling thing was in the the same vein as Zen Masters striking their students in koans. While hitting someone with a big stick seems mean, it's meant to illustrate a very concrete point. Same with calling this guy a dickhead.

Then again, I'm not Brad, so I don't know the real reason he calls people names. ::shrugs:

As Many Treasures Tathagata said to Shakyamuni Buddha in chapter 11 of the Lotus Sutra:

"Excellent, excellent. All that you have said is true."

I don't mind the name calling as long as it is using a name for a specific type and not a specific person. In this case, the mohawk guy is pretty anonymous so no hard feelings (unless I guess he reads this blog and connects the dots) but it is made clear that this is not wholesome conduct. The Bdudha also used harsh words in the Vinaya whenever he had to correct the monks or nuns when they did something totally immoral, irresponsible, selfish, undignified, or simply totally at odds with common sense and courtesy.

I have to confess, I'm not some teen or twenty something counterculture type anymore, now I'm a 40 year old dad with a desk job. And so I have come to a place in life where I really appreciate the little things like common courtesy and thoughtfulness and having respect for the people around you. I hope to instill this and more in my daughter. High ideals and radical politics and in your face noncomformism has its place - but real life happens in the humble moment of this space - lifting a toilet seat, cleaning up your own mess, filling the paper in the copy machine, taking out the garbage, helping your daughter with her homework before playing Flight of the Falcon in Nintendo DS for two hours straight (D'oh! Sorry Yumi). I really appreciate this post - common courtesy is in a way the foundation of sila (because how often do we kill or steal or whatever). It may seem trivial to some but these small acts of kindness, caring, and courtesy cultivates and expresses a respect for oneself and others - and without that there is no awakening, or rather, true awakening naturally involves respect for oneself and others.

Related to these kinds of things, I appreciate more and more the Confucian element of Nichiren's teachings. He often lauded such virtues and gave advice in that mode to his followers. This was where practice met daily living and where the real is found and actualized. As my friend Taigen says, kensho (seeing the nature) is all well and good, but it is genjo (actualizing the nature) that is important.

Some of you guys are being little wussies. Nobody is being hurt from the supposed name calling, and although there is no right way to go about it, there is nothing inherently bad about it. Its only bad because you make it so.

Nobody is being hurt from the supposed name calling, and although there is no right way to go about it, there is nothing inherently bad about it.

It is childish the same way as not lifting the seat. Cursing people, even anonymous, is just mental form of not lifting the seat. You can do it microsecond faster than holding your mouth. Mental hygiene.

A little research reveals a possible answer to this moral and categorical dilemma. On the Peet’s Coffee & Tea website, under the 10 Things You May Not Know about Peet’s stores, items 9 and 10 may shed some light. Number 9 states that they steam milk to about 155 degrees fahrenheit and discard it if it has dropped below 150 degrees fahrenheit, number 10 declares that they never re-steam milk. So this, a wasteful bourgeois practice, is a likely target for punk activism, and how better to express this activism than to ‘spill some milk’ of ones own, and of course not paying for the privilege. This dude is no phony but an actualized and effective punk activist who’s served to enlighten and raise the awareness of even the presumed enlightened, or so it seems.

I confess that I have went into McDonalds to relieve myself of the yellow liquid waste (which smells really funny after eating asparagus, what's up with that?)without purchasing a Big Mac, but I always lift the seat and do my best to pee with good aim.

Fellas, don't you just hate when you get a public hair blocking the ol' pee hole, and the pee starts shooting into two streams making a V. Having a Prince Albert must really suck.

As an outsider (and the worst zen-student in the universe)I would take into consideration what happened recently to Brad Warner. The way the mohawk dude treated the toilet, has some striking - though not necessarrily tastefull -similarities with the way some other mohawk dudes treated his passed away mother. Check his recent post on Suicide Girls for more details. Rude mohawk dudes in this universe - regardless their taste of fashion - are everywhere. And sometimes one can get really fed up with them. Even if I misinterpretet Brad Warner's perception of this experience, he has my deepest sympathy and respect.

i sense anger. anger leads to hate hate leads to confusion, confusion leads to the dark force.. but on a serious note, i'm new to this and i would like o undersand the reasoning or the rationalization behind such anger, that a zen priest would give. is it backed with good intentions? you should post a opic abou anger, and thinking about it i would like you to post about doubt as well. in your book you talk about doubting and questioning and that it will lad to the truth but you never explain how, and what goes on during this stage..

There's is no seat to lift up while urinating and Brad truly knows that.

You others, don't whine, just act. Do something to give a better life for everybody. Who give a s*it 'bout lifting a f*cking seat while pissing?

Well, I do. That's a moral thing to do. If you don't lift a seat, someone can get an f*cking deadly disease or ruin his/her f*ckin' day. And that's comparing to all of our lives. If you say a bad word or if you do a bad thing, you're not even close to Buddhism or so-called normal life. Be normal, act normal, don't do stupid things.

Yours,

The Moral and Ethic Koan Committee Of Lifting A Seat From Finland By Uku.

that we all should have completed before we are ready to consider embarking on Zen practice--or any other occupation, whether it be gas station attendant, rocket scientist, or punk rock musician?

And is it the responsibility of Zen teachers to give remedial training in clean-the-toilet-after-each-use or should we all have learned to do this before daring to show up at a Zen place and requesting zazen instruction?

A lot of us are not getting training in our families of origin in basic collaborative learning skills and are going out into life not knowing how to treat bathrooms with respect or how to treat others with respect.

Its hard to train little kids to clean up after themselves in the bathroom, but it is even harder to have to give remedial instruction to someone whose parents let them enter legal majority as children in adult bodies.

I had to do a lot of remdial catch-up and even now in late middle age, there are still some things I am behind schedule on. Its hard.

Anyone who becomes a zen teacher or any sort of spiritual teacher has to ponder this. People can look very sophisticated and honestly not know how to leave the bathroom clean when they leave.

What goes on in locker rooms at gyms and health clubs is a subject in itself.

Wow, the cheap shots are what really make this Buddhism discussion blog remarkable.I know, I know, it's so tempting to just see one another in this venue as a source of free entertainment, but seriously. It took one reply for someone to reference Brad's mom. Dare I say it... a little common courtesy, guys? Oxeye, I know you went back and said some more stuff that was a little less harsh. But jeez, people!I admit that on many occasions, I have peed in the sink in the bathrooms of various eateries I held in contempt, but I rinsed the sink out. Oh, and I've stopped doing that, because it's gross. It's not the company policy-makers who have to clean up our filth; it's the overnight minimum-wagers or the new kid that get stuck having to wipe up our piss from wherever it may fall. I don't buy the "activism" angle at all, though I can certainly appreciate the spirit of it.Common courtesy does make a big difference. If no one in your workplace (or your apartment!) ever refilled the coffee machine, or took out the trash, or managed to get their used paper towels into the garbage can, and figured that you could do it, that'd suck pretty hard, right?I mean, I feel like a schoolmarm saying this, but it's true. In Hardcore Zen, Brad talked about the importance of vacuuming up cigarette butts and putting away his Black Flag albums, and how it was just as important as exposing Ollie North and fighting Reagan's war on the homeless.Regarding dickheads, I say that we all do need a big long list of do's and don'ts, for a while, until we can remember the list without any help and can do the right thing all by ourselves. We're all big dickheads trying to become smaller ones, I think.

Man oh man, you guys would just not enjoy Hakuin or even Dogen at some points. Y'know one of the things I really enjoy about Zen rhetoric is the occasional peevishness, sarcasm, irony, and just in general no holds bar straight talk from the Zen Masters. And of course, Nichiren is a whole other kettle of fish.

But yeah, it can too easily degenerate into unenlightened mean spiritedness and anger. But I don't think that's what Brad was expressing. But of course I wasn't sitting there with him - but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt because I also enjoy peevish rhetoric with tongue firmly in cheek.

Oh, and if you ever read the Vinaya (I've read the English translation of the Theravadin Vinaya like three times now I think) you'll see that a huge amount of it is remedial common sense etiquette and dignified bearing. People get all worked up about the 250 or so precepts (I can't remember the exact number at the moment) as if to follow them would mean living in a straightjacket. But really, such a huge percentage is stuff we just do without thinking twice about it - like not staring into another person's bowel when you're eating, not swinging one's arms around when walkng and other childish stuff. And when you read about the history of the Sangha you realize that many novices and monks were indeed quite young and needed this kind of remedial common sense mature conduct 101. That is why I have read the Vinaya so many times - it is full of anecdotes about the outrageous, heinous, and downright silly conduct of supposed adult monastics; and the way in which the Buddha pointed out how the Dharma actually works in the nitty gritty of everyday conduct and relationships.

“the Buddha pointed out how the Dharma actually works in the nitty gritty of everyday conduct and relationships.”~Ryuei

How about supporting the objectification of women (suicide girls)? For the sake of clarity, I will point out that objectification means supporting the practice of thinking and treating a human being as an object, or rather, if you like, it means cutting off our natural empathy in order to satisfy our own desires. That being clarified, I don’t suppose Brad would have minded so much if the punker had pissed on a suicide girl, at least not so much if it pleased them to do so and the suicide girl was commensurately compensated?

The Buddha might not have approved of photos of naked women as he aboslutely disapproved of sexual desire or anything that would encourage it - even for householders. The Buddha shared his society's puritanical views about sex and sexual desire. And in that milieu women were property - pure and simple. Chattel. Like the burqa clad women under the Taliban.

I have read Brad's material on Suicide Girls and I think it's good stuff. Brad is perhaps following the example of Vimalakirti who even entered pool halls and brothels in order to teach the Dharma. I applaud Brad for following that example rather than the more Talibanesque fear and subjugation of women found in the Buddha's culture and enshrined in the Hinayana Vinaya.

Now as for the Suicide Girls site itself, I am not a member. So I don't know exactly how they are portrayed. My impression is that the site is a showcase of alternative styles of beauty. Sure maybe people whack-off to this material. Victorians apparently whacked off to piano legs that weren't covered up. But basically I think Suicide Girls seems to be a celebration of female beauty in all its variety and esp. alternative styles of fashion and presentation. Women should not have to be ashamed of their beauty, and I see nothing wrong with this. I do see something wrong with fear of women and sexuality that is an even worse and more oppressive objectification. Now if these "Suicide Girls" were being forced to do something demeaning to them or were being portrayed in a way that demeaned them - then perhaps I would see it as more problematic. Presumably these are mature consenting adults who wish to show their inner and outer beauty. That's fine by me. In any case, when it comes to social morality, I'll take Dan Savage over the Taliban and Pat Roberston types any day of the week.

“Those of us in the BME scene actively objectify ourselves.”- anonymous

There you have it, straight from the horses’ mouth, but does she realize the full actual and potential repercussions of her activities?

“… an even worse and more oppressive objectification.” - Ryuei

Is seems you agree that it is indeed objectification then. That is all that needs to be addressed, I think, not any ridiculous Taliban associations or other issues designed to sidestep this point. This issue has little if anything to do with puritanical views or fear of sexuality, as I see it.

It could be seen that the punker in Brads story treated Peet’s establishment and the people who work there as objects on which to express his chosen persona, pissing on them and turning a blind eye to their feelings -- not good, aye? But what if the punker were pissing for an ideal that we could align ourselves with, an ideal that suited us, then his chosen actions would be good, aye?

Well I don't exactly know what the BME scene is, but I suppose it has something to do with the girls posing at Suicide Girls.

I am not really sure what they mean by "objectifying" themselves. Frankly I objectify myself everytime I put on a kesa on Sunday to assist at temple services. I am taking on a role, performing for the public, and becoming not so much Michael McCormick but a functional role. We objectify ourselves and each other in all kinds of ways all the time - sometimes voluntary and sometimes not. Sometimes in a positive way and sometimes not so positive. To become an object of beauty is not such a bad thing - as long as you are not being forced into that role and as long as you are not seeking thereby to be truly degraded or abused. In other words, there are limits that must be respected.

For you it seems that someone being naked crosses your line. But you really don't need to look. The Suicide Girls aren't forcing you to look at and "objectify" them. Frankly, I see the promo pictures of them and I don't see sex objects. I see young women who want to show that beauty doesn't necessarily have to conform to mainstream stereotypes. I see women who are self-aware and by "objectifying themselves" I think what they really mean is that they are taking charge of their own image - and not letting others impose an image on them. And whether it involves nudity or not - mainstream society is all about imposing images and reducing people to their functions. That is where the problem is.

Are fashion models objectified? They certainly are - but is it ok because they wear clothes? Is objectifying a barrista or retail worker or fast food worker ok because it doesn't involve sexuality and the natural desires of the opposite sex for one another? Is it really objectification that bothers you - there is a lot of much worse objectification going around. Or is it sexuality itself that threatens you and that you think must be controlled, hidden away, and turned into something taboo and naughty because it reveals to much of our soft organic core? Do you think these young women are somehow in need of protection or that they should be following some paternalistic system of morality so that they don't give in to sexual desire or arouse it in others.

In reading Nichiren's writings I am constantly coming across all the restrictions put on women and beliefs about them. They have to be obey their parents when young, their husbands when married, and their sons when older. It is said they can't take the top positions in society or even the spiritual realm (as Buddha or Brahma and so forth), they are constrained by all manner of taboos regarding their sexuality and role in society. They are even viewed as a particular threat to male spirituality because by their very existence they arouse desire. The Suicide Girls are much better off without all that paternalistic nonsense. That they can be proud of how they look and find beauty and dignity in the human form and their particular appearance even when it doesn't match mainstream expectations is a wonderful thing. If all you can see is wanking material - then I have to shake my head sadly that your view of humanity, of feminine beauty, and of sexuality is so low.

In short, I think that Brad has done absolutely nothing wrong in being associated with that site. He is not a monk, is not following monastic precepts, and in fact has positively found a counter-culture forum where his insight can be shared. Even more than that, those coming there who may indeed only have naked girls on their mind might find that instead there is something more to life than sexual fantasy and the ephemeral beauty of the samsara. In short, and again I repeat, I think Brad is doing the work of Vimalakirti in writing articles there. Afterall, Brad is, unlike some of his critics, a Mahayanist and not a Hinayanist.

I guess I should add after this diatribe in defence of Suicide Girls and Brad's association with them that I do not think that Buddhism (even Mahayana or Vajrayana forms) means do whatever you want. I do think that sexuality is a very powerful force and that it can bring great harm if not approached with wisdom, compassion, and maturity. But again, I find that Dan Savage (of Savage Love) is the person who most seems to find and express the balance between sexual freedom and expression and the need to maintain honesty, integrity, and care (for oneself and others) in our sexual relationships. of course if you really are a monk or a nun who has made a commitment to sublimate sexual desire and to relate to people in a nonsexual way - all this is moot. One probably should not read Dan Savage or visit Suicide Girls even to read Brad's articles. In such a case, probably Thich Nhat Han's revised Vinaya would be the guide to follow as opposed to Savage Love.

I think Brad certainly has some valid points, but again the name calling bespeaks a simple ignorance of how the dickhead became a dickhead (dependent arising) and a faith in the idea that calling someone a dickhead has ever made them stop being a dickhead ("hate never yet dispelled hate..."). I wish I didn't have to post anonymously, but then again I wish I had a blog too.

Again your misguided defense seems to focus on my alleged puritanical views, as I've previously mention, that is beside the point. Assuming you were addressing yours truly of course.

Our capacity to objectify ourselves and effectively turn off our empathy has vital function I'm sure, otherwise we would not have that capacity. You must admit however that this capacity can be distorted with horrific results. Imagine, for example, how some societies can treat women like cattle, like possessions, societies like the one you mentioned before, the Taliban. How does something like that get started?

"I am not really sure what they mean by "objectifying" themselves. Frankly I objectify myself everytime I put on a kesa on Sunday to assist at temple services. I am taking on a role, performing for the public, and becoming not so much Michael McCormick but a functional role. We objectify ourselves and each other in all kinds of ways all the time - sometimes voluntary and sometimes not. Sometimes in a positive way and sometimes not so positive. To become an object of beauty is not such a bad thing - as long as you are not being forced into that role and as long as you are not seeking thereby to be truly degraded or abused. In other words, there are limits that must be respected."- Ryuei

What are the limits for the suicide girls? I don't care how you attempt to paint it, the impression, the signals being presented are that the limits are lower for them. That's part of the fantasy, part of what Brads efforts are supporting, and is my whole point. This lower limit, which is transfered to all women by association to some degree, invites abuse.

Zac - I was trying (unskillfully) to point out that maybe Brad's rant was more about his mom and not so much about the mohawk guy. I made reference to Brad's mother only after he wrote his post on SG "My mom is dead (and she's not going to take it anymore). I thought that if he was ok enough to write that, why should I be dainty about the subject..

I do not think Oxeye is a "flaming turd" for writing what he wrote.I think he was genuinely trying to point out that there seemed to be a lot of anger in Brad's post, and thought it related to Brad's mother having passed recently.And if you read Brad's articles on Suicide Girls, he does make a few jokes about it himself.Just my opinion.

It's actually better to sit down to piss. Standing,even with good aim it splashes on the floor. But try telling my 15 year old that...It's irrelevant whether the seat-splasher had a mohawk or a homburg. Who knows what he was thinking? Maybe his mom just died.

Many years passed in this way, during which this monk was constantly subjected to curses and abuse. He did not give way to anger, however, but each time spoke the same words, 'You are certain to attain Buddhahood.' When he spoke in this manner, some among the group would take sticks of wood or tiles and stones and beat and pelt him. But even as he ran away and took up his stance at a distance, he continued to call out in a loud voice, ' I would never dare disparage you, for you are all certain to attain Buddhahood!' And because he always spoke these words, the overbearing arrogant monks, nuns, laymen and laywomen gave him the name Never Disparaging. --- The Lotus Sutra, Chapter Twenty: Bodhisattva Never Disparaging

ever consider that maybe this never happened? maybe Brad just made the story up to illustrate a point. if a comedian can make up a story for a punchline, i don't see why a priest can't make one up to illustrate a moral lesson.

if you comment to point out Brad's name calling, you missed the point. You're still staring at the finger, not the moon.

Hi Brad, just came across this site a week ago, really enjoy your post. Great message here, do what needs to be done in the moment. Whether it's lifting a toilet seat or lifting refugees out of Darfur, it's the same behavior. Guy

i thought this was a great post. in fact, i've been railing against somethinge similar where i work, except it's a hite collar office and it's IN THE WOMENS ROOM. frankly, i ought to have learned to expect less, not more than my fellow human being. this post really summed up my feeling on the matter.

Um...I'm getting moved by you dickheads making such a deal of this. Moral lesson?! I think mr. warner was not in the mood to suffer fools on that particular day so this incident is what he wrote about. Please, let's ruminate here for a second...is there anyone who's found their way to this site who needs to be told that such disempathic behavior (I am an "I" and the world revolves around me) is not the way to liberation? That such behavior is simply Chickshit? I hope not. I fear we're belaboring the obvious. No offence Wesmiller, but really...I just read the post about the punk activist! That's good! I'm laughing! Solid, focused activism that will change the milk temperature and banish the booshies to...Ah, hmmm. Where will they go ...Wait...I'VE..been to Peets! Fuckdoes that make me one?

What some of you people don't get it? Brad is just a stupid dickhead himself or he knows something he's trying to tell you.

We all know his Mom died. And that's really sad.

Still, get a grip! Don't act like the dickhead Brad discribed.

Ever thought this life is nothing but koan?

Brad's Mom just died and Brad is trying to teach you something. Listen him, cut the bs. Act, do something, don't just whine and talk philosophy nonsense.

Buddhism is only acting, not talking metaphoric bs and comparing different ideas and thoughts. When you act, thought comes. And if you act, do only things that helps you and others, thoughts will come real.

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were travelling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry the pretty lady across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. "How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?" thought the little monk. But he kept quiet. The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about the big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. "How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite." The big monk looked surprised and said, "I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?"

Hey, while searching for widgets for my blog, I stumbled upon www.widgetmate.com and wow! I found what I wanted. A cool news widget. My blog is now showing latest news with title, description and images. Took just few minutes to add. Awesome!

i once went to the bathroom and found that someone had tinkled on the seat. i complained about it as i left the stall and another girl informed me that such a bitch was called an "asscocker". i never heard such a thing before. have you?