Norwich University females weigh in on male attitudes on sex, relationships

This is the second part of a series of stories in The Guidon looking at issues around sex, love and the health risks of promiscuity on campus at Norwich University. See related stories: Guidon stories rile up campus, Pres. Schneider backs right to publish; Not worried about STDs? Here’s a host of reasons why NU students should be concerned

An article in the Nov. 21 edition of “The Guidon” spurred a lot of discussion about male promiscuity on the Norwich University campus among students, staff, faculty and even parents.

Four Norwich upperclassmen were interviewed and asked about their perspective on the remarks made by the promiscuous males in the article.

One notion they all were able to agree on was that college is a place where promiscuity tends to happen, no matter your moral views.

“It’s the truth,” said Torrie Bernier, 21, a senior education major from Somersworth, N.H.. She was not surprised at all at what the four male students who talked about their promiscuous life said in the article.

“What they said is definitely true amongst males here,” she said, “a lot of them want the fun without the responsibility.”

Olivia Despirito, 19, a sophomore chemistry major from East Greenwich, R.I., also was not surprised about the males’ comments about having frequent sex with different partners.

It has become apparent to Despirito that sex for some of the males on this campus has become somewhat of a game.

“Guys keep notches in their bedposts essentially,” she said, “they kind of take each girl as a trophy.”

Keeping this “game” in mind, Roxanne Rodriguez, 21, a senior criminal justice major from Altamonte Springs, Fla., expressed the view that guys are inclined to “cheat” at this game.

“I didn’t think the guys were being very realistic,” she said, “as guys will tend to up their number because they are trying to brag.”

She noted she felt this was especially true since a female reporter was interviewing all of the males.

Regardless of whether or not the numbers were factual, the females interviewed agreed that what the males do is in their own business.

“I really don’t have a problem with guys sleeping around,” said Jenn Passalaqua, 20, a junior communications major from Geneva N.Y., “as long as they are being safe about it and not spreading diseases.”

The fact that several of the males interviewed in the article were, in fact, not using protection, was a huge concern for the females.

Bernier said she felt that the males are probably aware of the risks of not using protection and that by not using it, they are just “asking for trouble.”

“The fact that they are not using protection is scary,” Bernier said, “because they will say that they don’t want an STD or a relationship, yet they still won’t use protection.”

Rodriguez was even more surprised at the indiscretion of the males in the article.

“It is surprising they were so open about how much unprotected sex they were having,” she said, “and it’s definitely a point of concern considering protected sex is a good thing.”

Rodriguez had a recent conversation with the head physician’s assistant at the Norwich University infirmary, who she says told her that chlamydia was “pretty rampant on campus.” Chlamydia is a common STD caused by a bacterium that can infect both men and women and can cause serious, permanent damage to a woman’s reproductive organs.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, chlamydia is the most frequently reported bacterial sexually transmitted infection in the United States. An estimated 2.86 cases occur each year, the CDC said.

Rodriguez states that it is especially important to, “take care of yourself and other people” by using protection in light of such facts.

Despirito is astonished that some of the males don’t even want to use protection.

“To be honest, that’s scary,” she said, “You want to believe that every guy is going to be nice and at least offer to use it.”

She advises that if males do indeed act like some of those in the article, then the females on campus should use especial caution when having sex.

Passalaqua, on the other hand, warned that the males on campus should worry about something else as well.

“I know girls who have lied about being on birth control so they could have sex with a guy,” she said. “It’s absolute stupidity if a guy doesn’t use protection, because the girl could be lying.”

Despirito notes that there may be a deeper underlying issue. She said that girls nowadays are being held to a standard where they have to look and talk a certain way.

“When the girls are at their lowest point, guys seem to swoop in and make them feel superficially better about themselves,” she said, “and some girls will have sex with guys because of that.”

The superficial nature of picking a partner to have sex with was another issue in the article that women found revealing. While physical attractiveness was the priority with some of the males, Rodriguez noted there were some who did not seem to care who they had sex with.

“Its kind of grimy that there are guys on campus who literally don’t care who they have sex with,” she said. “I don’t understand how you can sleep with someone who you don’t think is attractive. Wouldn’t you want to have sex with someone who is attractive?”

But Bernier takes the side of the un-picky males in the article, and on campus, when it comes to having sex.

If you are just looking for a hook-up, it shouldn’t matter what the other person looks like because it is not really going to mean anything in the future, she said.

But Despirito is astonished that many guys (and some of those in the article) do not have standards when it comes to having sex.

“I have heard guys say “I will screw anything that moves,” but I don’t think that is true,” she said.

Despirito is certain that there is something in the back of those males’ minds that is telling them to “do her” and that they are at least attracted to the female a little bit, even if they do not want to admit it.

While several of the males in the article said that the last thing they want to do is emotionally hurt one of the females they have sex with, all of the females interviewed agree this is almost impossible.

Rodriguez stressed that the males should be more careful with the females’ (that they have sex with) emotions.

“There are girls on this campus that are content with not having any meaningful or emotional relationships and know they don’t need those to have sex,” she said. “But I definitely think there are more girls on campus who want a relationship.”

Rodriguez thinks that most girls at Norwich don’t like having sex with “no strings attached.”

Moreover, Despirito, Bernier and Passalaqua all agree that more often than not, the females will become emotionally attached if the sex happens more than once with the same person. Thus, emotional turmoil will result when the male ends relations.

“When sex happens more than once and then continues, the girls are going to want a relationship,” she said, “it is just how our minds work.”

Despirito agrees. “Anytime we become sexually engaged with a partner, there are going to be emotions no matter what,” she said.

Bernier said that the emotional involvement has to do with the female tendency to become attached quickly.

“At first girls are like, “Yeah, its fine, its fine,”” she said, “but in the end they don’t think its OK and they want more.”

Despirito said that whether a girl wants to tell a guy if she is attached or not is her decision, but that there is always “underlying emotion.”

Even if the males do not aim to emotionally harm the females they have sex with, said Passalaqua, there are females they will have sex with who do become attached because they take sex more seriously.

“And if you have sex with one of those girls, then you end up messing with their head and emotions anyway,” she said.

Despirito thinks that even when the female tries to not become emotionally involved, it makes it harder for them to keep the “no strings attached” mentality.

Passalaqua finds that even when they males fully do not intend to hurt the females emotionally, their drive for sex overpowers that.

“Some of the guys at this school will lead girls on just to get into their pants,” she said, “and they just don’t realize the toll it has on the girl.”