Introverts, Being Spiritual Doesn’t Have to Be Loud

As introverts, it can be difficult to create a meaningful spiritual practice because many spiritual traditions promote an extrovert ideal. They urge their followers to be outspoken about their beliefs and participate in social activities as part of the community. You can see this in action across many belief systems, from Christian churches where singing hymns together is paramount, to traditions that ask members to preach in public, to public atheist assemblies like the Reason Rally in Washington, D.C. After all, how can you claim to believe in an ideal if you stay quiet about it?

But that isn’t how introverts approach spirituality. We often prefer a quiet life of the spirit, one that’s about reflection and an inner search. Here are four ways that introverts can find that and create a more fulfilling spiritual practice in their lives.

1. Embrace the quiet interior.

Why are introverts naturals at being spiritual? It’s because we’re quiet enough to hear the spirit, whether it’s in the form of one god, many gods, the universe, or life itself. What we consider the “spirit” can even be as simple as our own creative energy as human beings—and understanding that energy takes inner reflection. Just like a scientist needs a quiet laboratory to study and experiment, a spiritual person needs a quiet place to meditate on what lies within.

Take a look at any of the world’s most famous prophets and teachers, and you’ll find that their breakthrough experiences came during moments of solitude. It’s why Jesus went into the wilderness for 40 days and nights, why Muhammad received the word of Allah in a cave, and why Buddha sat underneath a tree seeking enlightenment.

Only by embracing the quiet moments in our lives can we open our eyes and ears to a larger truth.

2. Develop your critical thinking skills.

What you believe does not determine how good a person you are. As many agnostics and atheists will tell you, it’s possible to live a good life without a belief in a higher power. Believers can learn from this as well. No matter what spiritual path you follow, you can do justice to that path by balancing it with a critical eye toward your own beliefs. Introverts tend to think deeply about their beliefs, and it’s easy for us to struggle with doubt, especially if we feel alone in an extroverted spiritual community. But doubt isn’t a bad thing—it’s natural. And often, it’s a great teacher for a person of faith.

While an extrovert might find it easy to get swept along with the crowd, an introvert has the chance to sit back and observe in silence. From this spot in a community of believers, it’s possible to recognize when something needs to be called out, like an act of hypocrisy or a community leader that goes a step too far. Sometimes, no one else is willing to acknowledge these incidents, and an introvert’s inner compass can benefit the entire community. In this way, we can develop our conscience and be useful to others without necessarily participating in every event or ritual.

“It’s not enough to forge your own spiritual connection to the divine; it must be displayed publicly.”

Such a demand can be tiring to any introvert who wants to worship or contemplate in their own private space. But we can make our beliefs heard in another way: through our actions. In many cases this can be as simple but profound as taking care of our brothers and sisters. Nearly every religion has a tradition of almsgiving, service, or mutual support. Similarly, those who are humanists, atheists or non-religious spiritual people can give aid through secular charities like Foundation Beyond Belief.

4. Be spiritual on your terms, not someone else’s.

As someone who’s a practicing Catholic, I’ll admit that I believe some of the doctrine taught by the Church—but not all of it. My spiritual practice has less to do with sermons and devotion, and more to do with taking Communion every Sunday, praying quietly, and being charitable whenever I can. It’s how I choose to make my faith my own, and not simply the faith of my parents.

You can do this with any tradition, or in your own private spirituality. Even something as simple as making a few positive affirmations about yourself and your life every day can be a good foundation for your spiritual practice. What’s important is that you’re committing yourself to an ideal that you want to live out every day.

What has your spiritual path looked like as an introvert? Do you find that you fit in easily with your community or tradition, or do you often “go your own way”? Leave a comment and share your story. What is most spiritually fulfilling to you?

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Alex Willging is an independent author and blogger who lives in the Los Angeles area (and loves it). As a lifelong introvert and INFJ personality, he cares deeply about making someone's day a little bit better, especially when it comes to writing good stories and articles for the web. To see more of his writing, follow his reviews and short stories at Mr. Rhapsodist. Alex also provides a writing consulting service at StoryLaunchStrategies.com.

I enjoyed this article very much! As an introvert, I’ve always struggled with going to church. I’ve always felt people were overly friendly at church, and expected you to be the same way. Church was always way too much for me growing up – exhausting. Not to mention all the activities, like being baptized are all done in front of everyone, which is not my style at all. I’ve yet to be baptized, but would like to be, but not in front of total strangers. Anyway, I’m very happy with my spiritual journey on an introvert level.

I can relate, especially regarding the over friendliness lol. I also think some aspects of worship shouldn’t be so public all the time, such as prayer and baptism. Maybe these should be done in small groups every now and then

Fellowship and seclusion both have a place in religion. With regard to the latter, I love this picture: “And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide…” (Genesis 24:63). Biblical meditation and prayer are not an emptying of the mind but thoughtful communion with God.

Thanks for this article. I really enjoyed it. It helps me to embrace my own spirituality as an introvert. At the same time I do not think that extraverts need to practice spirituality,for example praying or meditating, in the same way as we introverts do by being silent or contemplative. I know an extraverted friend who for example needs to go to events or do activities to connect with his spirituality. I think that that is ok too. Extraverts are wired differently and need external input.

I’ve always been the type who would stay quiet while everybody else shouted, “hallelujah!” in church. I’ve also observed that I feel more connected to Jehovah while I’m watching a sermon at home or praying alone than when I’m at church. This led me to think that I just wasn’t spiritual enough. Now I know that the church, just like many other institutions, have embraced extroversion rather than the opposite. Very good article. Thank you.

Stephanie

I grew up in a non-denomination Christian home. Although I still consider myself a Christian, I’ve experienced a lot of frustration within the church. I’m an INFJ and am an extremely spiritual person, but I am also a perfectionist. Growing up, it was all about our actions being on display, and I remember feelings of guilt every time I messed up. As an adult, I find myself frustrated by the messages that focus on making my faith public and proclaiming it for everyone to hear. I am private about my faith, and this article was a great reminder that it’s okay.

I know exactly how you feel, Stephanie. It’s not an easy thing to be quiet in a “loud” religious tradition, and guilt never makes it easier. I’m happy you’ve found some peace with this.

Hannah

Thank you so much for writing this article! Coming from a Catholic school, we had this lectio divina once a week where we read the Word of God for the day and share within our small group our ow reflection and how we could apply it in our lives. It was always a struggle for me as an introvert and I always prefer to write things down instead of saying them.

I went to church for a long time as a kid. I sort of ‘wandered’ a little after I went to college. I tried out the unitarian universalist church, a modern Quaker meeting (which was run like my childhood church – a UCC congregational church) and a much quieter Friends meeting, and then sort of ‘pit stopped’ at the Unity church (much more metaphysically minded than my social justice/political action oriented childhood church) which helped me grow too, and since I don’t go to church much. Occasionally when I feel really drawn and am able to get up in time, I go. I have a very rich spirituality on my own, and I communicate with and feel very close to Spirit and other divine beings, so most of my spiritual time is very fulfilling on my own and I take time for meaningful reflection. One of the most potent spiritual things for me is sharing my realizations (about life, friends and myself, also human nature) with close friends via text, email and facebook.

Oh my goodness…THANK YOU. What a life-changing article…I have felt the same but have never seen it articulated like this. I tend to use the arts to express my spirituality…writing, photography, dance. Mystery. I also believe spirituality is so intimate…I’ve often said that it is more intimate to me than my sexuality, and I never understand why those who wouldn’t dream of prying into my sexuality have no second thoughts about bulldozing my spiritual life. Thank you for opening this conversation.

convertcatapult

For those who like alone time: Saint Simeon Stylites lived on top of a pillar for 47 years. Reading the lives of the Saints you come across a lot of people who lived ascetic lives and became hermits. Passing great amounts of time alone on islands, in forests, caves, on mountains, all kinds of places. Completely letting go of the world, and meditating on God. Medieval monks living sometimes in isolation copying illuminated manuscripts by hand is how we got the Bible. Saint Anthony Abbot, to get away from people, shut himself up in a cave and people came to find him and would give him food through a crack and ask him advice. They eventually broke in worrying about him, and found him in excellent health. I think he lived to be 105.

I can surely relate to some of this information. I grew up in an easy-going Baptist church and where I was expected to stand up and enjoy the contemporary rock and I was never quite comfortable with that. I stopped going to church but I never wouldn’t call myself a Christian, and I greatly distanced myself from the feel good stuff and was looking for something really hard core, and more permanent and serious, and quiet. Moving away from the idea of faith being excitement or an emotion, and starting to actually focus on doctrines and Church history, and the idea of faith being rather an act of the will, regardless of emotion, began to make much more sense to me. Years later in my early 20s I ended up exercising critical thinking about what I believed and made a rather contested decision to convert to Catholicism, and it was a breath of fresh air as my INTJ mind began to explore history and the structure of Catholicism and canon law. The realization that it really is not about feelings at all, was firmly embraced. And that there is a difference between redemption and salvation, and that I’ve actually got work to do. (It’s worth mentioning that Saint Teresa of Avila went 18 years with no consolations.) My sense of how I understood Christianity and Church history was becoming clearer and I began to recognize problems in what seemed to be the Catholic Church, and when I came across a comparison of Catholic teachings of the past compared to teachings after Vatican II, I relatively quickly accepted the conclusion of sedevacantism, found a traditionalist chapel in my town, and was taught from a 1949 catechism. Armed with a basic understanding of the metaphysics of the human soul and bodily experience, I am tasked with avoiding and confessing mortal sin at all costs, and it’s both terrifying and peaceful. A complete departure from subjectivism was really nice, finding a Christianity that was totally immune to liberalism. My journey has been one to find the highest authority and subject myself to it. It’s like yeah sure I heard Christianity before, but now I actually heeded Christianity. The fight against temptations is not over until I’m dead. It does not get easier. You get better at fighting. You cannot lay down your arms for one moment. One must hold the Faith whole and entire as true, or they’re not actually a Catholic. It is all or nothing. It makes so much sense to me. It’s either 100% or 0%. Outside of the Church there is no salvation. It’s not about the feeling in your heart, but what’s in your action and the intent behind it. It’s right there in the black and white(catechism). Ascent to the teachings of the ultimate teacher and amend your life, and from there gain merit with works, it’s so brutally simple and concrete. As G.K. Chesterton said of why he converted: “To get rid of my sins”, because it’s the only way to do it. Like the boy who plays ball in a field and breaks a window: the boy who is not perfectly sorry is afraid of getting caught and fussed at, while the other boy who is truly sorry goes to the owner and apologizes and fixes that window. Not just repentance, amendment. Actual change. Dropping addictions, changing your life, avoiding situations. There are times when I do feel emotion though. Occasionally when I make a good confession, and I’m confident that I have no sin to worry about, it’s sometimes a surreal feeling, knowing there is nothing to be afraid of, that I could get shot right then and there and probably go to heaven. It’s why in WWII, chaplains of many various religions didn’t go in with the initial assault waves, but Catholic chaplains did, because they understand sin, and they know their duty, and have no cause to fear death if they’re just. I saw a statistic somewhere, it’s really true, a ton of Catholic chaplains went in with initial assault waves, to hear confessions and give last rites, when protestant chaplains tended to stay behind. It’s why I think that a lot of people don’t need to waste their time with seeing psychologists, they just need to go to confession, and say their rosary, they will be amazed at what can happen in them with prayer, and not giving up. There is nothing to fear except sin. There is always always always hope. “Nobody supposes that the best critic of music is the man who talks coldly about music. But there is an idea that a man is a correct judge of religion because he looks down on religions.” — G.K. Chesterton