A woman was talking to her family about why she doesn't need treatment. She said she hadn't drank in a week and she was increasing her exercise, eating right and doing well at work. She knew she needed to stop and felt better now that she had. She could do it on her own.

As she was talking I stood next to her and smelled the alcohol from the night before coming off of her. I asked her if she drank the night before and she said "yes". What was hard is that she then said "I'll just try harder". She was in a very painful place. She knew she needed to stop drinking; she was drinking despite not wanting to; she was afraid she couldn't stop yet she was afraid of the changes getting help involved.

What would allow her to surrender? What would allow her to "let go absolutely" and grab on to recovery? Could she ever see that admitting "complete defeat" could be the key to a new life?

I don't know if that can be done as a function of will or intellect. In one sense she knows her situation but that knowledge doesn't translate into action. Our friend wasn't simply lying. She was trapped in a spiral of not being able to stop despite wanting to and having to create a series of deceptions to cover up that fact.

I believe she is in a place where good intentions and will power aren't enough. I don't think intellectual insights and practical techniques for stopping drinking would work at this point. AA suggests that one should ask for God's protection with "complete abandon". It's easy to scoff at this but for many it's been the only thing that works. At least it's worth a try.