What is going on with him?

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We met online, and he asked me out. We talked/ texted for 3 weeks before our date. Our first date was great. He called me right after the date to say he wanted to see me again. We went hiking for our 2nd date. Went out on our 3rd, and he took me back to his place and cooked me dinner. We kissed. 4th date he came to my house, we ordered food, took a walk, and then made out and cuddled on my couch. 5th date we got rained in at his place. We picked up food, he seemed super into me and kept telling me he liked me, how pretty I was and he kept leaning in for kisses from me often. We cuddled up and watched a movie. He initiated talking about us and said he wants to take it slow and not rush, but is a relationship guy and wants that. He said when he really likes someone he gets super attached fast and jumps in and he doesn’t want to do that too quickly, as he thinks it will take him some time to open up emotionally after his last failed relationship. He asked me to be patient with him.

He says he is okay with some physical stuff but doesn’t want to have intercourse until we are in a relationship for it to be special. He says he never hooks up and he was in a long term relationship with his high school girlfriend, now ex, for over 10 years and she was the only person he had ever been with, thus he wants to take it slow. I agreed with everything as I had only been with one person too. Our physical feelings overwhelmed us and we ended up naked in his bed fooling around, but no intercourse. I stayed over. He still seemed really into me and called me the next day to come back. We watched another movie, talked, and cuddled up. Ended up fooling around a bit again. Naked in his bed was so comfortable. I felt I was starting to really like him as I felt myself starting to open up and become more vulnerable. He called me the next night to see me again, but I had prior engagements and could not go.

A few days later he called me to see me again. He said he was moving to a new place on the weekend and was unsure if he would have time to see me and really wanted to while he could. He still lived in the place he and his ex shared, but she moved out when they broke up 5 months ago. I went over, he begged me to stay, we had a good night. The next night I asked him to go to dinner with me for a quick bite, but he couldn’t. Then the weekend came, he moved, and I didn’t hear from him. I figured he was busy. Four days went by without one peep from him. I texted him and he said he was busy and he asked about my upcoming weekend plans. I answered and he never did. Days went by again without anything, so I texted him again. He said he was so sorry and he was so busy with the moving. He asked what my plans for the weekend were again. I told him, and then mentioned us doing something for the weekend.

He said he would have to see because he had a lot of family obligations and more stuff he wanted to do to fix up his place. He mentioned us going to dinner this week one night. I told him to let me know ahead of time. He then texted me Sunday night asking what I was up to. I answered him, and he never responded. It’s now Tuesday, we are going on two weeks of us not seeing each other, he isn’t really texting me at all, and I’m so confused. I’m bummed because it’s been a month we have been seeing each other and I was starting to like him. He seemed to be starting to like me too. I, along with my friends and family don’t see anything I did wrong. I didn’t ask for a relationship or more right away. He would tell me he was starting to care about me. He told me I would have to help him decorate his new place. And how he would come to visit me more when he moves and how he shared his bed with me so I can share mine with him.

it could be one of several things or several things combined….some of that being that he either he is back with his ex that he shared that apartment with, or he just wanted sex and didn’t get it. or he found someone else… or he is genuinely busy…..but one thing i’ve learned about men, if they really really want you and really like, they will find the time.

i think you’re worth more than how he’s treating you. i’d move on if i were you. do you really want to start a relationship with someone where you have to constantly guess where you stand with him?

Let your feelings on the matter be known to him and then give him space. If he realizes he is not comfortable with what he is putting you through he might come around. If he doesn’t, you deserve better.

I think that he really liked you; no doubt there. He just got out of a very long relationship and he’s probably scared to jump back into another one. If he didn’t like you he would’ve stopped talking to you off the jump! He’s just afraid of what might happen/his feelings. Honestly, you should probably not be in a relationship with him right now, I think that the safest thing to do is let him go because of his last relationship. He is NOT ready to start up a new and possibly a long relationship with you.

I think that he really liked you; no doubt there. He just got out of a very long relationship and he’s probably scared to jump back into another one. If he didn’t like you he would’ve stopped talking to you off the jump! He’s just afraid of what might happen/his feelings. Honestly, you should probably not be in a relationship with him right now, I think that the safest thing to do is let him go because of his last relationship. He is NOT ready to start up a new and possibly a long relationship with you.

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I wholeheartedly agree. It really sucks, because when you find that connection with someone timing is everything. This is coming from someone who has met a few diamonds in the rough, only for them to end things before it began because they had just gotten out of a serious relationship and weren’t ready to get back into another one.

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