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Monday, March 10, 2014

All Groan Up

As a child, I imagined my adult life to be very
different from what it has turned out to be.

I thought I’d be a dashing man in dapper suits, a
paragon of perfection, the epitome of esquireness (is that even a word), the G
in GQness, the paradigm of Playboyness…you get the drift. I imagined I’d grace
presidential suites in bespoken suits, hobnob with heads of state in stately
halls, and shuttle between these routine rituals in a jaunty Jaguar. So
basically, I imagined I’d Pierce Brosnan my way through adult life.

Today, the only time I’m dashing is when I try to
push through over-crowded overbridges in Bombay. The only time I could carry off the
aforementioned adjectives confidently is when I have a magazine of those very
names. And the fastest transport I’ve taken is the Kasara Fast from Dadar to
Kurla.

So here I am. The grown up I’ve always dreamed of
becoming. Groan!

But when I think about it, it’s not as different as
it sounds. Not really.

As a kid I wondered if work would involve myself
driving down to a famous skyline at Lower Manhatten. Today, I find myself
driven enough to make it to my office, a little building hidden among some of
India’s tallest abominations at Lower Parel, by 10 in the morning.

I imagined swaggering into my office and sitting
with my feet on my workdesk. That’s exactly what I do. Because that’s the only
way I could catch some 17-18 winks after being in office all night.

I imagined going very far in the career of my
choice. I recently moved 707 KM away from home, looking for a new job.

I imagined I’d be committed to enriching lives of
people all over the world. I now work on advertising campaigns for a global
bank.

I imagined committing myself to a creative hobby
every day. Now I’m happy if I manage to write a half-decent FB status message
every other day.

I imagined carrying a techie gadget that helped me
prioritise all my assignments for the month. I now maintain an excel sheet on
my laptop that reminds me when to pay off my rents, electricity bills, mobile
bills and renew my train pass.

I imagined wining and dining all over the city all
week long. Today, I’m at least whining all week long.

So is there a lesson in here? Most certainly. For
young readers who may stumble upon this piece, be careful what you wish for.
Because your destiny is written by someone with a wicked sense of humour. Beware!