Sunday, February 3, 2013

What a nightmare I had last night. I dreamed I was in this alternate world where people actually chose to get together and watch commercials. In a normal world, a rational world, a world populated by semi-intelligent beings like dolphins or orangutans, nobody would actually want to watch commercials, right? They would turn them off, right? They would ignore them. They would recognize them as nothing more than the modern day equivalent of nineteenth century snake oil salesmen, who were often tarred and feathered and run out of town on rails. But get this. In this ludicrous universe, people didn’t do that. They allowed the snake oil salesmen right into their homes, laughed at their jokes, and thought they were all around swell folks. They didn’t see them for the con men and liars they really were, not at all. In many cases, people let them talk directly to their children!

Can you believe that?

These people willingly, enthusiastically gathered together to be lied to and manipulated. It was like being in a world full of battered wives. I went frantically in search of a drink, just to keep my sanity, but all they had was Coors Light. It was hell.

Now, in between commercials there were other things going on, like military displays and a sporting event, but these were merely incidental to the real action, just added sweetener for the true business at hand.

If I had the talent I would a write a short story about it, but nobody would believe such an obvious farce. It would lack verisimilitude.

Oh, yeah, one other thing. In this wacky parallel hell, there was an article where people were actually suggesting than Ann Romney run for the Senate in Massachusetts, you know, because her husband did so well there. They claimed she was popular and charismatic. They also mentioned Tagg Romney as a possible candidate because he was a successful businessman.