Not wearing garments during pregnancy

I went through the temple over ten years ago. I've been a temple recommend holding, tithing paying, very active member of the church the whole time. I'm busy baking cakes for Enrichment tonight. I've had two or more callings at a time most of my adult life. I like being Mormon. I love so many things about the church. But I've never liked garments.

I've tried so many different styles over the years. I'm only 5'2", and even the petite lengths are annoyingly ill fitting. I envy my 5'10" friends who wear the petites too, and don't worry about garment bottoms peaking out the bottom of everything, and women who don't have an issue with the sleeves bunching around their bra straps. It's not a matter of finding the right style or material or size anymore. I just don't love having a layer of clothes under my clothes, untucking, shifting, riding up, bunching and causing an extra little muffin top above my pants line. Sometimes I put on really nice comfy, beautiful panties from a lingerie store and sigh in happiness. I imagine what it would be like to wear these every day under clothes, especially when it's hot out. I think about how pretty and sexy I would feel. I am even a tad jealous of my non temple endowed friends who can pick any underwear they want without feeling guilty over it.

And now I am 27 weeks pregnant with baby #3. If I dislike garments under regular circumstances, I practically loathe garments when I am pregnant. I have prayed about all of this over the years, and the answer I seem to feel is, "I know you really don't like garments, and it's okay." No direction of what to do, or whether to wear them or not, just a peaceful loving feeling that despising something that is supposed to be so sacred to me is okay. Heavenly Father still loves me, and he understands how much they bug me and how much I've tried to adjust to them.

Sometimes when I've had a really frustrating day and my garments have given me a wedgie for the tenth bazillionth time that day, I finally run upstairs, strip down and throw them in the laundry basket and put on something comfortable. Instantly the world feels better to me, I stop snapping at my kids and swearing in my head every time I have to stop and re-tuck my tops in after reaching the top of my stairs. Seriously. I very rarely swear out loud. But garments make me curse in my head sometimes. (Don't tell.)

I can't possibly imagine that a loving father in heaven wants me to be so uncomfortable and irritated over something that is supposed to be a blessing to me.

If I just decide to not wear garments until this pregnancy is over, would I be the only one to have ever done so? Would I really lose all my blessings and worthiness, despite doing EVERYTHING ELSE so well, just because I don't like garments and stop wearing them for awhile? It just doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't seem like the Heavenly Father I have a relationship with is really that concerned with my underwear right now. (It seems so letter of the law, rather than spirit of the law.)

I would ask my friends in real life, but then they'd all think I'm going apostate. :-) I thought I'd throw it out here. Does anyone else ditch their garments sometimes, not to be immodest or anything, just because you need a day off to breathe comfortably under your clothes?

Comments (33)

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! I am 27 weeks pregnant and just made the decision that it's time to be comfortable. I feel like I can't breathe anymore when I wear them. I don't feel guilty about it. Do what you know is right. You know what's in your heart and you know that you have good intentions.

Oh I just want to give you a big old hug! That really stinks. I got really lucky with my body type I guess because the carinessa tops/bottoms and poly cotton bottoms fit me great. I am tall and slender though. I can't imagine having the bottoms being so long and the tops all bunchy!

I *think* you can get custom made garments...right? That might be a good option after the baby is born. As for pregnancy...uhg my normally wonderful fitting tops are getting so uncomfortable and we are way to broke to buy more right now! They start being tucked in and within no time they are sitting on top of my bump!

If I were you I would pray about it and then trying to go without them and see how you feel!

I think my greatest fashion wish in life is to buy pretty, feminine (modest!) summer dresses to wear during the hot months. They would be breezy, airy, light and beautiful. I would be the epitome of a confident, up to date, modern modest Mormon woman.

The problem is garments. One issue when I've tried this is that they come untucked frequently and you can't just lift your dress up to tuck them back in like you can the back of a t-shirt. (At least not without killing the "modest" part of my vision.) Secondly, I feel uncomfortable with the waistband where it's supposed to technically sit (up above my belly button), and usually lower it on my hips to where my pants sit (more on my hips). This gives me a major saggy crotch, which is also really uncomfortable in sweaty hot weather. So instead of pretty summer dresses, I wear denim zip up shorts and tees, which hold the crotch in place and allow me to constantly re-tuck all day. Meh.

I just dream of panties and a bra, under a breezy summer dress. I actually close my eyes and fantasize about it sometimes. Clearly I live a blessed life, and any woman in the middle east in a Burka would roll her eyes at my issues, BUT! I really wish I could feel like a faithful, loving, caring Latter Day Saint woman without having to love my pioneer era-esque underwear. And just once, I want my husband to come home from work, spontaneously begin a passionate make out session in the kitchen, then tear off my clothes and find a pretty matching bra and undies set instead of an old pair of slightly yellowed garments. I don't know what my other children are doing during this fantasy, but I sure think it would be fun. :-)

Yeah, it seems kind of backwards to me that while we were dating and being good, I was wearing cute underwear, and felt sexier than I do now that we're married, and it actually makes a difference in our relationship what underwear I'm wearing.

I adopted the "100 degree" rule during my last pregnancy--if the heat index was 100+ degrees, I didn't wear them, although I still dressed like I did. I'm also 5'2, I have super sensitive skin, we live in Louisiana, and he was due the first week of July. I never felt anything but peace from Heavenly Father about it and it came with the added bonus of me not maiming or killing the people I came in contact with. It really was amazing how much more comfortable I was without them!

Salvation is not a series of checklists. Tithing is not simply paying 10% and checking it off. Temple covenants are not simply wearing the garment and checking it off. Charity is not simply baking cakes for Relief Society or taking a meal to someone and checking it off.

Salvation is personal and individual. Think about if you are viewing it as a checklist of applications or if you are understanding the doctrine behind the application.

I did the exact same. I never was truly comfortable in garments, but 2/3 through my first pregnancy, I had had enough and prayed about it and felt like "just try it and don't feel guilty for a while and see how you feel" - it was heavenly. I tried after baby to go back to wearing them and purchased every cut and material, even in diff sizes to try to find something I could stand. I couldn't. I prayed again and actually felt at peace with not wearing them at all anymore. My personal opinion is that they are a tradition, but I know there will be people who strongly disagree with that. But all that matters is what you and God decide. When I went for my next recommend interview and the Garment question came up, I just told him I struggle but am praying about it and doing my best. That passed the test for both my bishop and Stake Pres.

You are not alone and I hope someday they go by the wayside all together some how. Until then, I am at peace with my decision. Hopefully you can be too :)

GigglesShemo, I'm pretty sure we are in complete agreeance. I'm saying "Why is something like what underwear you put on under your clothes so important that you can't get a temple recommend if you don't wear the right kind? Isn't salvation about so much more than these little things, so why should it be akin to apostasy to not wear garments all the time?"

I just want to be happy living my religion. Not wearing garments has big social and religious within our church, but it doesn't feel like a big deal when I'm one on one with God.

I feel the exact same way, I am also 5'2'' and have so much trouble finding garments that fit right. I remember the last time I went to buy some bottoms, I asked for a petite and the lady looked at me like I was Satan. I was so irritated. I would feel so much better if I didn't have to wear them at all. I will not be wearing them during my next pregnancy and I won't feel bad about it either :-P

Hmmm. That's a tricky one! I want to say that garments are a protection and should be worn at all times. But I understand that there are exceptions to that rule. I don't want to sound insensitive to what you are going through, because I understand, so I keep thinking about it. There are times it's not appropriate to wear them, but we are to do our best. And I think your situation is something the lots of women go through, but at the same time, it is an individual situation. The only way I'd feel comfortable making that decision was with my bishop. He is a spiritual leader and can point you in the right direction. He wont judge you. He knows you're a good person who just has an honest question. We all have out trials and stumbling blocks and questions and doubts (I used a lot of ands there because I didn't expect that list to be so long....) and it doesn't mean we are any less of a person or bad in any way. I'd talk to him and go from there. Good luck.