In 2004 Buck’s Fizz’s very own Cheryl Baker had a colonic irrigation broadcast on national telly for Channel 4’s The Salon. That same year, cameras whirred as she was pushed out of an aeroplane at 10,000 feet for our delectation. Fun to watch, but I wondered at the time exactly which showbiz agent was advising our glorious Eurovision ‘skirt-removing’ champ to demean herself like this.

Ten years later, and I feel sure the same person has now transferred his dubious skills to the world of football agent-ing. His latest client? One Roger Johnson, the new West Ham centre back . Roger is a pretty decent defender, so who on earth has brokered the deals that took him to clubs that between them were relegated three times in as many years...er..and now.. to West Ham, teetering on the edge.

Unlike Cheryl - we haven’t witnessed any of Roger’s colonic expulsions, though Negredo certainly extracted the urine out of him at the Ethiad, the other week. What I’m saying is, the lad deserves better. Come on Rog’ ....who’s advising you, pal!?

Okay, it’s time I mentioned Man United, where of late Old Trafford has been less of a fortress, more... a bouncy castle. Once again Fergie was spied with his head firmly in his hands. De Gea was, too...but apparently dropped it.

Somehow you just knew the evening would end with the Black Cats celebrating in front of their 9000(!) travelling fans. Hats off to the stewards. Not only did they do a great job keeping several joyous mackems off the pitch but the rumour is, they also had to frogmarch a Mr J. Terry away from the touch line after he was seen stuffing his suit into a bag and insisting he join the lap of honour.

Penalties seemed an unsatisfactory way to end this cracking cup tie. All square at 90 minutes, I think the fairest way would have been to send both teams to Wembley to meet Man City....I mean, let’s face it, even against 22 players, City would probably still win it.

(Image: Getty Images)

It is, of course an FA Cup weekend , with the biggest tie being Chelsea v Stoke. Both have left big names in the bench in recent months in the shape of wee Juan Mata and Peter Crouch. Mata is off to Man United after Mourinho claimed it was ‘hard’ for him to sit in the dugout. Eh? Hard for Mata? Poppycock! It’s a lot harder for Peter Crouch.....they have to punch a hole in the perspex roof for the poor fella to look out of the flippin’ thing!

Potential upsets? Well, maybe Bournemouth v Liverpool. With the Merseyside derby coming up midweek, Rodgers may rest some of his stars. Whether the big names travel down to Bournemouth remains to be seen. I think they will. It’s good for morale....and anyway, some of those sheer south coast cliff faces are ideal for a spot of extra Suarez training, while he’s there.

Finally, under the title “Beckham is joining the Trotters”, Tuesday’s papers pictured Becks with the original ‘dodgy’ wheeler dealer cockney wide boy....no, not Mike Ashley....but Del Boy. It was for a Sport Relief comedy sketch to be aired in March. Good on him. He’s renowned for his looks, but David’s one celebrity keen to show us what’s on the inside. (A bit like Cheryl Baker come to think of it). I love Sport Relief...it’s a great charity...and it does work, cos I dinnae know about you, but the moment I saw the One Show’s Alex Jones donning her wetsuit last year, I for one had my hand in my pocket, straightaway.