Mixed singles on college campuses

Published: Thursday, April 4, 2013 at 05:08 PM.

These were the days when, on one University of North Carolina system campus, boys lived in one set of dormitories and girls lived in another set of dormitories.

If you wanted to have a visit from a member of the opposite sex, you were summoned to the lobby over a loudspeaker. You signed this visitor in. They could not walk the halls without you escorting them. They had to be out of your room by a certain time at night, a little later on the weekends than during the week.

Am I talking about the quaint, wholesome 1950s? No. This was my freshman year at UNC-Greensboro in 1991.

When I moved into Hinshaw dorm at UNCG in the fall after my senior year in high school, I was surprised by these dormitory ground rules. They struck me as a little old-fashioned. Maybe this was a carryover from UNCG’s days as the Woman’s College of the University of North Carolina. It had only been co-ed for about 30 years when I arrived.

Before enrolling in college, I had spent time on the campuses at UNC-Chapel Hill and N.C. State with high school friends who were a year older than me. Friends at both those schools spent their freshman years in dormitories that included both girls and boys.

In most cases, they lived in suites — four-room pods with a common bathroom. Each suite was separated by a locked door and each floor in the building was unisex — girls on certain floors and boys on the other floors.

These were the days when, on one University of North Carolina system campus, boys lived in one set of dormitories and girls lived in another set of dormitories.

If you wanted to have a visit from a member of the opposite sex, you were summoned to the lobby over a loudspeaker. You signed this visitor in. They could not walk the halls without you escorting them. They had to be out of your room by a certain time at night, a little later on the weekends than during the week.

Am I talking about the quaint, wholesome 1950s? No. This was my freshman year at UNC-Greensboro in 1991.

When I moved into Hinshaw dorm at UNCG in the fall after my senior year in high school, I was surprised by these dormitory ground rules. They struck me as a little old-fashioned. Maybe this was a carryover from UNCG’s days as the Woman’s College of the University of North Carolina. It had only been co-ed for about 30 years when I arrived.

Before enrolling in college, I had spent time on the campuses at UNC-Chapel Hill and N.C. State with high school friends who were a year older than me. Friends at both those schools spent their freshman years in dormitories that included both girls and boys.

In most cases, they lived in suites — four-room pods with a common bathroom. Each suite was separated by a locked door and each floor in the building was unisex — girls on certain floors and boys on the other floors.

But there were no restrictions on going from floor to floor or suite to suite. If you had a girlfriend in the same dorm, you could spend as much time in her room as she, or her suitemates, would tolerate.

The arrangement at State and Carolina seemed much preferable, at least to me as an 18-year-old. For parents, I’m sure, the policy at UNCG sounded better.

Living on the first floor, my room became a kind of Underground Railroad for girls who stayed past curfew in our dorm. The RA’s room was right by the lobby, so it was safer to send girls out that way rather than having them risk walking out the front door and being caught.

So, coming from a college experience marked by such a restrictive way of doing things, I was surprised last year when the board of trustees at UNC-Chapel Hill adopted a policy that allows students of the opposite sex to live in the same dorm suites and campus apartments. The policy will go into effect this fall and will allow boys and girls to share bathrooms and common living areas.

A state Senate bill introduced this year by Sen. David Curtis, R-Lincoln; Sen. Ben Clarke, D-Cumberland; and Sen. Chad Barefoot, R-Wake, would put an end to that policy before it even gets rolling good. Under the bill, members of the opposite sex would only be assigned to the same room, suite or apartment if they are married or are siblings (does anyone really think siblings, after spending their teenage years together, would want to live together on campus?).

The new policy seems to run the risk of turning college into an episode of the reality television show “Big Brother.” On one hand, though, what’s the difference between living in the same suite and living in a different suite one flight of steps below?

The difference is that, though one of seven girls in a suite might love having a dude around all the time, the other seven might not. And while under the current set-up one of those girls can complain if a boyfriend is spending too much time hanging around her suite, she won’t have as much of a say if he is assigned to that suite.

Whether this policy is a good one or bad one, I think it’s best left to the trustees in Chapel Hill. Having the legislature get involved strikes me as a bit of a stretch.

One thing I learned is that when you send a child off to college, you ultimately can’t control his or her behavior. You can hope they will take the lessons you’ve taught them and put them to good use. You can pray they will be safe. You can call them and text them a lot.

Though 18-year-old Brent thought the dorm policy at UNCG was lame, the mid-50s version might be encouraging his kids to check whether the school still has that same dorm policy and, if so, to apply there.

City editor Brent Lancaster can be reached at blancaster@thetimesnews.com or 336-506-3040. Follow him at twitter.com/tnbrentl.