I like him a lot, and I think he really likes me too, but please tell me how it sounds?

So things ended really badly with us like last November because we wanted different things, but then months later he started relentlessly calling and texting (I mean not a ton, but like 5 times). I didn't answer, but I finally gave in and did. We have started seeing each other again and it's been great, but the whole relationship thing still makes him flip out. if I threaten him about not seeing him ever again or talking to him he reacts, but I don't know how to get him to move this relationship in a progressive direction. He just stared at me the other night and said things like "you really are just so beautiful" and we didn't even have sex. he always picks me up and drops me off, asks me how my family is, how my friends are. he acts very much into me, but whenever we say good bye he says things like "I'll talk to you later" or "I'll see you later." and i hate that. I just want him to be able to tell me something like "I'll call you tomorrow" or something. I've never asked him out right to do that, but I just wished he would do it on his own. I don't know why he keeps the distance he does because he always wants to hang out with me, and do whatever it is I want to do or am comfortable with doing. I have met his close friends, they are very nice guys. He does have a very very busy work schedule that changes pretty much every week (relatively successful musician in a band) so I feel like maybe that's why, and also the fact that he has only ever been in one other relationship that went on way past its due date I think. He loves to hold my hand, just hold me in general, and talk to me about real things, he makes me feel respected for my intelligence. basically, I love being around him and I think I love him, but how does he feel about me?

if he doesn't want to lose me, then how could he not want to be with me? I feel like we basically do everything a couple does, just not as much of it. this is the 3rd time he's come back to me, I just don't know why he would if he saw no future

Most Helpful Girl

You have ask him more questions, be direct with him. No point in keeping ur doubts to urself. Tell him you want to discuss things with him, and see how he reacts. Coz without proper communication, relationships are very fragile.

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I think he knows we have to have that "talk" I brought it up the other night and he jokingly pretended not to know what I was talking about, but when I told him the same bad things would happen if we didn't have the talk he said that yes he does know we have to have that talk, so that's good I guess?

Yes, its ok then. He seems to know what he's doing. Especially since he talks about ur family and friends as well. He might be wanting to reach a certain stage in his career before making things big. So, u could remain patient. He definitely respects you a lot. You should be feeling proud to have a guy like that in ur life :D

thank you this comment was so nice, he's been away this week but we made loose plans to do something this weekend (because he said he'd be back by the weekend) I kind of want him to call me first but he hasn't called yet and I don't want to look needy?

I feel you should be more natural with him. If you are really interested in meeting up over the weekend and he still hasn't called yet, you could casually give him a call and find out what he's up to. You don't have to feel bad if he's busy, but you don't have to keep quiet either. Asking once is not being needy at all. In fact, he might like it that you took the initiative :)

Yeah, if u have already told him once, then I think calling again is not needed. There will always be some habits in others that irritate us. But I guess his lack of initiative is not such a big deal, as he more than makes up for it by doing other things. But yes, since he's not very interested in making things official as yet, you could also be a bit more formal with him, i mean like not assume too many things. Keep things simple and logical.

I said it pretty nonchalantly, as I was getting out of his car, but he looked happy at the idea. I guess what makes me feel most secure is that when I threatened him that I wouldn't talk to him again he got really upset, we have a fantastic time together and he always pays for food, etc. its just this one thing that is bothering me which makes me feel like he's just not ready to move things forward, even though he doesn't want to lose me?

Well, all I can say is that we are traveling in the same boat. Even my BF makes me feel something very similar. So, I can understand exactly what you are saying. I have over the past year and a half with him that he really is deeply concerned about me and will take care of my interests well. Its just a matter of trust and adjustment :)

yeah I mean the last thing I want to do is come off needy, as I did come off codependent to him last year when we were dating before. but he's been the one pushing to get in touch, it's only now that I feel strange at his lack of communication with me. I want to figure out how to make him "want" more from this, not feel like he "needs" to in order to keep me around, you know?

I'm sorry if what I am going to say hurts you, but I feel its important - We can never force a person to love us, just as they can't force us to love them. Please focus on the feelings you have for them, do the best according to ur circumstances. Until marriage happens, things are fragile anyway. So, take the relationship cautiously forward. Demanding love will spoil the beauty and depth of the bond that is being created between you both. Forgive his limitations and love him, but make sure your interests are guarded, is what I'd advise.

What Guys Said 1

If he's successful in a band, he likes you but not enough to give up being free to hookup with groupies if he wants to. He does like you and he clearly treats you well, which is great. But the best you can do for yourself is not to invest to much in him right now and to see other people as well as him. Make him one of many, so that you're not pushing for a relationship. Because he doesn't want that right now. If you need that, then you're barking up the wrong tree for the time being

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I mean it's kind of unfair to assume he's hooking up with groupies, I kind of doubt that's the case. does he sound like he likes me enough to come around? he was pretty desperate to get me back over the summer.

I'm not saying that's what he's doing. I'm saying he wants to have the "freedom" to be with other women if he wants to. If he wanted to commit to you right now, then he would progress into an exclusive relationship already. He's hung up on something. Whether it be the option to see other girls, if he's hurting from a breakup or something else I'm not sure. But the 1st option makes the most sense

In that case, he is likely a wounded bear from his last relationship. If he still doesn't want to be in a relationship, then you shouldn't wait for him. Because he's not going to flip a switch any time soon.

They want to see other girls, because they're not convinced that a relationship with one girl would be everything they want. Me for example. When I'm not in a relationship, I'm dating several women at a time. I'm open and honest about my intentions with every girl. And if a girl wants a relationship, when I dont. I tell them that and they either decide to stay anyways, or they leave. I only stop dating around, when I meet the girl that changes my mind about dating around being more exciting. Only then will I say goodbye to the other girls. But if I'm single and seeing one girl, if I'm not interested in a relationship in 4 months then it likely isn't going to happen.

Now he might be one of those guys that just has a hangup about labels. If you two do everything that comes to a monogamous relationship, but just no titles. Then that could be his issue. But you said "less than" a relationship in regards to what you do.

We've only been seeing each other for about a month, the last time we were seeing each other he had literally just broken up with his sex and was definitely not over her. things ended between us then because he saw me kiss another guy and he flipped out. I remember asking a really close friend of his once if it was some other girl who was in the way or something and he said no. it's all really confusing.

Pretty much. A mix of him being lonely, possibly not over his ex and wants her back, but he doesn't want to lose you because you're fun and you have a good time together. But he doesn't want to fully commit to you for X reason.

since we started seeing each other again he has not said that he specifically does not want a relationship, he has danced around the word entirely when we got into a fight about what we were and when he got all scared and sad when I threatened to never talk again. the conversation ended with me saying do you want me to contact you and we can talk about this another time and he said yes I want you to call me so we can talk about it another time. I told him i really cared about him, he told me the same, I told him I had missed him, and he told me he had missed me too and thats why he had been calling all summer.

1. Don't threaten him. It's manipulation. 2. Tell him what you need in order for you to stay with him.

If he gives you what you need. Then that's awesome. If he doesn't, then leave. You have to be prepared to do that, because your needs aren't being met and that causes a rift on whatever your relationship is.I'm not saying breakup and don't talk to him forever. I'm saying, if he can't give you what you need. Then leave him so you can find someone who can give you what you need. And stop talking to him for a while, so the emotions can calm down. You don't want to have a situations where you are always wanting more with him than you can have.

I do think he cares about you but wants things to move slow maybe his lack of experience or our relationship with him in November kind of made him realize that he doesn't want to mess things up and is taking his time to make everything right and more memorable. If you really want him to be more serious or want to take the next step to our relationship tell him how you feel