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Please, A Standing Round of Applause for Klutz of the Year

Sorry for being so late to the post today! I always do my best to be a positive person but today really was a bit stinky. Started off pretty good, I’ve got another blog I’m really loving, Shut Up and Run, as if the name alone wasn’t good enough reason to pull me in right?!?!

But this morning was a really great post about doing something that scares you. As I read it, I knew there was something that I’ve been putting off, saying I’ll do it tomorrow. But tomorrow really never came. It’s getting off the d*** treadmill and running outside again. Ever since my car accident I’ve never really gotten back to the ‘old me’ in that sense.

The old me would run in gale gust winds, torrential downpours, heat, semi-trucks blazing by. I once did a track workout while they were in the middle of redoing the track. Lane one was still yet to be totally torn up so I just worked around the bulldozers. I used to think treadmills were for weenies.

Flash-forward and ALL I do are treadmill runs. Now, I no longer think running on a treadmill makes you weak or anything like that. I think treadmills certainly have their place, can be great training tools and sometimes it’s actually SMARTER to run inside than out. But not for the reason I’m running in the treadmill. Yes, a part of it is because I’m neurotic and like to know exactly how many miles I’m doing and exactly what pace. But I’m also avoiding something. I’m avoiding actually running outside. It scares me. Plain and simple.

I know that it’s in my head. I KNOW that, but still that ‘tomorrow’ where I’ll start training and running outside had yet to come. I had run like that for darn near a decade and never got hit. It was just one really bad day that changed that.

So I finally bucked up and decided to strap on my watch and head outside, I was going to do something that scared me, step outside the comfort of my cozy little treadmill bubble and TV.

Five minutes in and being the klutz that I am I trip on the side of a curb, the pavement was uneven, BAM I’m pavement roadkill again. This time though it was totally at my own hand…err, foot. Luckily I avoided a full faceplant but I did tear off a fed layers of skin from both palms and got some roadrash on my stomach and shoulder.

Well, today’s menu featured a tempo run, so I picked myself up and got on with our regularly scheduled programing. Warm-up clocked in with 3 miles to a nearby track, did my 6 mile harder effort, then wrapped with a bit over 2 miles for a cool-down. By the end I’m not going to lie I was a bloody mess. A more sane person probably would have called it a day after the skid, but sorry, five minutes does not a run make regardless!!! haha.

I had done what scared me. Ya, it ended up sort of sucking, and during my tempo blood was covering my hands and of course there happened to be some kind of kiddie camp that ventured over to the track. They all waved at me, but I was hesitant to actually wave back lest I really scare those poor 4 and 5 year olds! So a smile would have to do.

Luckily the track I was at happened to be where I used to work and I knew the people. They have a really great first aide center (in case other people get hurt, sadly my own story was one of clumsiness and not really exciting) and I had a fun 90 minute chat with Olivia as she picked gravel out of me.

Then getting home was a bit of a fiasco, I had run to the track so didn’t really have an easy way to get home. I took to walking. By this point I was wiped and things were hurting. I made it over halfway, but passing a little church I was wearing thin and a thought came to me. Maybe, just maybe someone there would take pity on an idiot runner who is a klutz. There was only one lady working and she wasn’t able to leave. Totally understandable, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bummed.

Walking away from the church there was an old man watering his lawn. He saw me and asked me what was up. Do I tell this old man that I’d just about kiss his feet for a ride a mile up the road? I caved. This was sort of hard (or embarrassing I guess) for me because I don’t like being a weenie and asking for help, I mean I can run 11 plus miles but another mile walk puts me over the edge? Man up, Cait!

But in recent years I’ve gotten better at knowing when to ask for a hand. I told this nice old man (at this point I ventured he was safe and not a Chester the Molester type..but again, in all honesty I was sort of past the whole caring thing!) and had a really nice time getting to ‘know’ Gene for that mile drive. BTW, Gene’s been awarded the #1 Grandpa plaque from his grandkids. I’m of course going to have to be partial to my own grandparents, but in my book Gene is CERTAINLY looking promising for the bronze this year. 😉

So here I am, just walked in the door. I’m tired as heck and just look oh so pretty. I took a picture but really it is just too atrocious to even post. Even I have some standards. I did however get Olivia to snap my hands on her phone and she said she’d try to send those to me. I’m a sucker for all those nice, bloody shots. If I get them I’ll post those.

Not looking forward to the sting of a shower, but ’tis okay. I still did something that scared me. I’m actually proud of that. I’m happy I did it. I don’t know if I’ll run outside or on the tread tomorrow, but as one famous therapist said, “Baby steps, baby steps.” 😉 So thank you Beth for a particularly great blog post that gave me the kick in the butt to get outside for the first time in WAY too long.

1) What’s something that you CAN do that scares you?

2) Are you willing to put it in writing that you WILL do it and tell us how it goes?

4 thoughts on “Please, A Standing Round of Applause for Klutz of the Year”

Congrats on getting outside! I had a fear of racing and speed work for a long time after I was injured, burned out, etc. in college. For the first time in my life, I actually think racing is *fun* now because I don't put so much pressure on myself.

I say that, but….. I'm still a bit of a nutcase with my running. Not as bad as I used to be, but this week for some reason has been terrible. I can understand one or two days of crappy runs, but it has been like this all week. I am completely run down. Can't remember the last time I have felt like this. It's like I have no energy. I'm in the middle of my run and start thinking I'd like to stop on the side of the road and take a nap. It's weird. I was supposed to do a 5-mile tempo today, but got half a mile in and had to turn it into an 8-mile easy run. Problem is it didn't feel easy because I was so fatigued. So of course I've been beating myself up over having such crappy runs and feel like a slacker that I didn't do the tempo.

awww, girl, i'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so incredibly tired and down. thank u for stopping by and PLEASE always feel free to comment/message/email me. trust me, i know how frustrating it can be feeling like an alien in ur own body. like it's letting you down and you don't know why. have u been to the doc at all? a few years back i went through hell, i was feeling SO tired all the time and couldn't figure out why. no joke, it got to the point where my easy run pace was getting to be 10 min/mile and it felt like i was doing a tempo. months of this and they found out i was hypothyroid. i got on med's and it made such a difference. if u want u can email: captaincait@hotmail.com.

but in the meantime, as hard as it is, try to cut yourself some slack. it's not a mental or moral weakness to admit that you're exhausted and you shouldn't even feel a bit guilty about not being able to do the 'planned' workouts. i kno ur coach would agree. 😉 u know u're tough as nails, so for you to feel so out of whack, something's up. we'll figure it out.

take care girl and i hope u're feeling better, we are always our own harshest critics, but give urself some TLC and try to get some rest!

thanks for the kind words girl!! oh, i know, i used to love running outside, and those miles tick off a heck of a lot faster with fresh air, change of scenery, and all that fun stuff! hope ur weekend's going great! 🙂

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