Wednesday, February 3, 2010

One of those days

By the title you probably think I mean one of THOSE days, but it was really one of the other kind of days. The good kind. The kind where I only left the house to take Erin to school and back. The kind where nothing special happened, but where I just enjoyed the simple things. The kind where I sat in awe at how beautiful and special each one of my children is. I looked at their little features, their cute noses and long, dark eyelashes, their little fingers and bright smiles, and wondered where all that came from. I watched them play so nicely together for hours with blocks and Legos on the floor, then sat by the window as they ran and laughed and played on their make believe train and bought treats at their make believe store before they headed to their make believe park, which was also their make believe home. I loved getting a glimpse of them carelessly swinging and smiling like there was nothing better. Is there? For me today there wasn't.

Homework was done quickly with few complaints about having to punctuate, kids didn't freak out about get the wrong seat at dinner or the other kid getting the color of plate they wanted, there were relatively few fights that I can recall and (brace yourself) no whining--amazing. Kids even willingly helped me clean the whole house before bed. What's with that? (Also, I cleaned the house? What's with that?) Then they easily went to bed with none of the usual shenanigans, 2/3 of them anyway.

It was a pretty normal day, as far as my days go. Poop got on the carpet (twice!) when I was changing shall we say "runny" diapers, and someone peed on the bathroom mat after their bath when I didn't get there in time for the diaper save. Applesauce was dumped, then smeared on the table, milk spilled all over the kitchen floor, cheesy hand prints made their way onto my clothes (among other places), a lot of water was poured deliberately onto the floor, and I found the toaster oven on fire at exactly the same moment that someone slipped on the spilled water onto their head. Looking back, all those incidents stem from Marissa, but no matter. Note to Jared: we might need a new toaster oven... and electrical outlet, but the smoke alarm works--always a comfort to know, especially since he is out of town for 8 days.

But given that fact, it's been a really good week so far, though I know by writing this I will most certainly jinx myself as that is what usually happens when I write about how well things are going. But why are things easier when Jared is gone this time? It has nothing to do with how much I miss him or need him, because I absolutely do. I would much rather have him here. It has to do with expectations. I know that no one will help me with bedtime, or mornings, or dinner or dishes or diapers or fighting, so I just do it. And somehow Heavenly Father gives me the capacity to do everything I need to do when it seemed beyond my ability before.

I also have much lower expectations of myself, as I mentioned before, and I'm sticking to it. If I fall asleep on the couch for the third time in a day, so be it. If the house gets trashed and sticky, so be it. Most of it is reversible anyway. If I don't complete any of my lofty goals, so be it. I probably only completed one or two from last year and this year may be the same, but it's something. So be it. I am happy right now for all the blessings I have; mostly the simple things that are so easy to take for granted, but are somehow the most beautiful and amazing.

One thing is for sure. I love my children! They amaze me by how smart and funny they are, and make life so worthwhile and lovely. So if I ever wonder if I did stop to enjoy my life when I end up having one of THOSE days, at least I will know that I did today!