Sirens, Loud and Close

My night of despair and tragedy, and their only antidote.

Dahlia N., who lost two teenaged sons in a terrorist bombing at a family Bar Mitzvah three years ago, told me on the phone that her husband has been out of work for months. He suffers from depression and insomnia, and after being awake all night, was simply incapable of reporting for work in the morning.

"Has he tried anti-depression medication?" I suggested.

"Several different kinds," Dahlia replied. "Nothing helps."

Disheartened, I hung up the phone and checked the news. The lead article reported that Israeli intelligence experts are predicting a new wave of terrorism in the wake of the Disengagement. A related article reported the fortification of school buildings in Ashkelon and Ashdod, Israeli cities north of the Gaza Strip which are now expected to become targets for Kassam rockets fired from Gaza.

WAR REFUGEES

I was interrupted by a knock on the door. Eli, a friend from the Golan Heights, and his family stood there looking tired and discouraged. Over apple juice in our living room they told their story:

Since Eli is a builder, they had made the four-hour journey to Nitzan, where 320 "caravillas" [mobile homes] were hastily thrown up to accommodate families evicted from Gush Katif. Having heard harrowing news reports about the state of the caravillas (not enough access roads, no shudders, no air-conditioning, thin plaster-board walls incapable of holding cabinets or shelves), Eli volunteered his services.

One man told him that his Gush Katif home, presently being bulldozed, was 300 sq. meters. His large family was now cramped into a 90-sq. meter caravilla. "This whole house is the size of my kitchen in my home, I mean, what used to be my home," he corrected himself. Of course, only a fraction of the family's furniture fits into the caravilla. The rest sits outside, an easy prey for thieves and weather damage. Two displaced Gush Katif families in Nitzan have already had their belongings stolen from outside their caravilla.

Another family, whose daughter is due to be married next Monday night, told him that they had been required to lay out 21,000 shekels [about $4,800], to be eventually reimbursed by the Israeli government, to pay for the containers and the moving van. Now they have no money to pay for their daughter's wedding.

And these families are the fortunate ones. The residents of Netzar Hazani are camped out in tents in a Tel Aviv park. The Tel Avi municipality has informed them that they'll be evicted immediately after this Shabbat.

Even those "lucky" enough to be housed in hotels for the first ten days of their "exile" wander around shell-shocked. "They're war refugees," Eli says, "Jewish war refugees."

THE MURDER

A half hour after we saw Eli and his family off, we heard a loud cracking sound. It sounded like a bomb. A few minutes later, we heard the sirens, loud and close. Was it a suicide bombing? We ran to the radio and the internet, but there was no news yet.

Some 15 minutes later, my daughter got word from her friend whose father works for the Burial Society: Two Jews had been stabbed by an Arab in the shuk [Arab market], a three-minute walk from our house. Frantically, we checked the news again. This time it had it: one Jew was in serious condition, the other in moderate condition.

One Old City rabbi said that we couldn't simply stand idly by the blood of our brother.

We stopped and recited Psalms especially for the recovery of the young man in "serious condition." Later we found out that it wasn't true. The first paramedic to arrive on the scene told my friend that by the time he reached him the young man was without a pulse. Heroic efforts to resuscitate him failed.

Then the phone call came: an impromptu demonstration would be held at 10:15 near the spot of the murder. One Old City rabbi said that we couldn't simply stand idly by the blood of our brother.

A small crowd of our neighbors gathered at the entrance to the shuk. There we heard the story in bits and pieces: two young yeshiva students had been walking toward the Kotel. An Arab had stabbed them both with a large kitchen knife and fled. Although two nearby Arab stalls, with telephones, were still open at that time, neither shopkeeper moved to help the wounded men nor even to telephone the police. The wounded friend had to run to the police station, some 40 meters away, to get help. One policeman belatedly gave chase and fired his gun into the air. That was the loud cracking sound we had heard.

One of the Jewish Quarter residents lit memorial candles, and we stood there, 50 distraught, heartsick Jews, and recited psalms in unison for half an hour. We did not know whether to be more angry or frightened.

The Zaka vehicle arrived to soak up the victim's blood with a special sawdust-like substance so that it could be buried with him.

DESPAIR

We then got word that the murdered young man was due to be married soon. It was more than I could bear. I broke down and cried.

My friend Penny put her arm around me and took me aside. Her daughter had returned from a harrowing month in Gush Katif with a story that Penny shared with me:

A woman in one of the Gush Katif communities had lost her son in a terrorist attack. He was buried in Gush Katif, and his remains would have to be moved as part of the evacuation. This, and starting her life over again in a new place with new people, was too much for her to face. She told the soldiers who came to evacuate her that she was going to kill herself.

Rabbi Motti Alon arrived on the scene. He said to the woman, "You can kill yourself, and then you'll lead us all into despair. Or you can go forward with courage, and then you'll lead us all into hope. Which do you choose?"

The woman stood up, gathered up some of her belongings, and got onto the waiting bus.

Every single Jew, Penny told me, is that woman. If one of us gives in to despair, that one leads others into despair.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks, went home, and even at that late hour, called Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller. "How do I ward off despair?" I asked her.

"The only solution is unity among Jews. Our salvation will not come from any other place."

She told me that the only solution to Israel's terrible predicament is clearly stated by the prophet Zephaniah, in the very same chapter where he prophesizes: "Gaza will be deserted, Ashkelon will become a wasteland, they will drive out Ashdod's residents at noon ..." [2:4] The chapter begins with the admonition: "Gather yourself together and gather each other."

"The only solution," Rebbetzin Heller asserted, "is unity among Jews. Our salvation will not come from any other place."

Where to begin? I think I'll go bake a cake and take it to the Gush Katif evacuees being housed in a cheap downtown Jerusalem hotel.

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About the Author

Sara Yoheved Rigler is the author of God Winked: Tales and Lessons from my Spiritual Adventures, as well as the bestsellers: Holy Woman, Lights from Jerusalem, and Battle Plans: How to Fight the Yetzer Hara(with Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller). She is a popular international lecturer on subjects of Jewish spirituality. She has given lectures and workshops in Israel, England, Switzerland, South Africa, Mexico, Chile, Canada, and over thirty American cities. A graduate of Brandeis University, after fifteen years of practicing and teaching meditation and Eastern philosophy, she discovered "the world's most hidden religion: Torah Judaism." Since 1985, she has been living as a Torah-observant Jew in the Old City of Jerusalem with her husband and two children. She presents a highly-acclaimed Marriage Workshop for women [seewww.kesherwife.com] as well as a Gratitude Workshop. To invite her to your community, please write to info@sararigler.com.

Visitor Comments: 13

IT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN AND HEARTBREAKING. MAY HASHEM HELP US ALL TO UNITE

(12)
Shulamis Yona,
September 2, 2005 12:00 AM

We can lead one another into despair or into hope. It's our choice.

We must remember this. Especially during these very difficult times when it's easy to give up hope. I agree with Rebbetzin Heller - we need to stand together. Fighting amongst ourselves will only lead to chaos and tragedy.

(11)
Yehudis,
September 2, 2005 12:00 AM

Government Lies

So the evacuees had months' notice and should have prepared? Residents of the destroyed community of Bedolah said they started contact with the government 10 months ago and still are without proper homes!

As for hundreds of empty hotel rooms, that's another government lie. As Miriam Adahan said, "Many traumatized refugees found themselves knocking on hotel room doors already occupied by other refugees – with 8 family members assigned to one room – or thrown out again after only a few hours by hotel managers who felt that their presence might upset their regular guests.

"Although they were told that the government would provide them with 10 days in hotels, they must pay for these accommodations! And ten days is hardly enough to recover from the trauma and find new dwellings. Some were sent to sleep in school dormitories. Others were offered small apartments in anti-religious kibbutzim! SELA found 600 decrepit apartments scattered around the country whose owners charge exorbitant prices.

"For the last few years, the government lulled the people of Gush Katif into thinking that the expulsion plan was simply a bizarre joke, an illusion fostered by the fact that building permits were still given out as of April, 2005 and that no infrastructure was prepared to resettle the population. Furthermore, Ariel Sharon kept saying that the expulsion would not take place under fire, and there were constant terror attacks. No one could have imagined that they would simply be thrown out of their homes and told to “manage on your own!”"

So let's stop blaming those who were expelled and stop excusing the government. This was a cruel, unprecedented expulsion of Jews by Jews and a terrible desecration of G-d's name.

(10)
Anonymous,
August 31, 2005 12:00 AM

In response to the anonymous comment on 8/30/05:

Yes, there was a forcible expulsion. However, all the evacuees WERE given several months' notice that this was coming. There could have been more effort at preparation. And it could have been done alongside the tfillot and bitachon. Generally we refer to such preparations as hishtadlut.

(9)
Devra Auerbach,
August 31, 2005 12:00 AM

I was there

I have just returned from Israel, and I was in the Old City when the tragedy occurred in the Arab shuk. I walked by the entrance to the shuk at a few minutes after 10:00 and saw a group of people standing, reciting Tehillim in unison. Several of the people who were in my group (Aish NY mission) expressed concern that there may be uproar or riots in the Old City the following day. My only comfort to them was to remind them of a fundamental difference between us and the arabs - when someone kills an arab, they retaliate...when someone kills a jew, we pray.

(8)
Anonymous,
August 30, 2005 12:00 AM

Let's call a spade a spade. There was no "evacuation," or even "disengagement." Rather, there was a forcible expulsion. Jews were expelled and dragged from their homes. Period. This happened in 1290 in Engalnd, 1314 (or thereabouts) in France, 1492 in Spain, repeatedly in the Germanic lands, and 2005 in Gaza. We will only merit living in Eretz Yisrael if we follow the dictates of the Torah. This scares me more than anything the Palestinians could possibly throw at us. Someone told me last week that its another Churban. I'm beginning to think he may be right.

(7)
Anonymous,
August 28, 2005 12:00 AM

I have met few writers who "move" me the way Sara does.

(6)
Anonymous,
August 28, 2005 12:00 AM

please let us know how we can help this family whose daughter is about to get married. In sarah Rigler's article you mention that the parents do not have the money to pay for the wedding. We need to send a request on your website to help the Jews from Gush Katif. Please let us know as soon as possible. THANKS

(5)
Eric,
August 28, 2005 12:00 AM

correction

"And these families are the fortunate ones. The residents of Netzar Hazani are camped out in tents in a Tel Aviv park. The Tel Avi municipality has informed them that they'll be evicted immediately after this Shabbat."

Those living in tent camps CHOSE to live there despite the fact that there are hundreds of empty hotel rooms all over Israel that have been paid for by the Israeli govt. The tent camp demonstration is largely political.

The first step in Jewish unity is the decision to not unfairly criticize the Israeli govt.

It seems that Aish has taken a partisan stand in opposition to disengagement. I believe this to be a mistake, as many Jews hesitantly support this move and hope it will lead to a brighter future...

(4)
H. Goldsmith,
August 28, 2005 12:00 AM

Hands-on Jewish Unity

In our community of Elizabeth, NJ, we have a weekly gathering in support of Eretz Yisrael (started in response to the intifida, about three years ago). It is called L'Maan Achai V'Rayai. There are three parts to our gathering: a twenty-minute shiur on any Torah topic given by a different community member each time, then someone reads a personal story/article from Eretz Yisrael (taken off of a website such as aish.com or from a Jewish newspaper) that helps connect us to our brothers and sisters in Israel, and finally we recite two chapters of tehillim, a misheberach for cholim, the prayer for the IDF soldiers, and Acheinu. At the conclusion of the gathering there is a tzedaka box available for anyone wanting to give a donation. Every few weeks we rotate the recipient of this money - worthy organizations in Eretz Yisrael that assist terror victims and their families or others in financial need. If anyone would like to start a similar gathering in their community, feel free to email me for more details at hhgoldsmith@aol.com

(3)
Chana Sharfstein,
August 28, 2005 12:00 AM

Thank you for sharing -for your meaningful important news

Dear Sara, I was very moved by your article. Our Jewish people are definitely VERY SPECIAL. I am proud of my fellowbrethren in our Homeland- the strength and warmth in these very challenging times. Your brief description of the woman whose son was a victim of terrorism, who now had to face the loss of home and community, was very touching. I felt her anguish and I accompanied her on her departure from Gush Katif. I hope she felt my presence and small attempt to support her and give her courage. Only through your article am I becoming fully aware of the difficult plight of the displaced settlers. It brings back uncomfortable scenes from WWII. And the report on the latest stabbing in the Old City- that is unspeakable tragic. We all are familiar with that area and this hateful crime, the viciousness and horror permeates my very being. Your article should receive worldwide publicity. Everyone should know of the situation in ISRAEL. In our homeland, in our city of Yerushulaim, an innocent young man on his way to the Kotel-words do not suffice to express my sadness. We should all share your story for this is IMPORTANT to everyone of us Am Yisroel Chai. Hashem, listen to your children and Help Us. It's time for Shalom, for Moshiach.

(2)
James in Texas,
August 28, 2005 12:00 AM

Unity is important, like a hand.

Thank you so much for sharing your lev (heart) in this story. It is hard to hear how the suffering happens, but necessary. Unity is important, it can bring strength to us all, and Hashem (God) will bring victory out of it all. Strength that comes out of unity brings hope to all us. Life is precious; no one knows what the future will bring. We have enemies all around us; if we can’t be together on things then there is no hope for any of us. We need to be like a hand, one finger is nothing compared to a hand that can do so much more. Still if you loose a finger, you go on, and do great things. Thank you again,

I'm told that it's a mitzvah to become intoxicated on Purim. This puzzles me, because to my understanding, it is not considered a good thing to become intoxicated, period.

One of the characteristics of the at-risk youth is their use of drugs, including alcohol. In my experience, getting drunk doesn't reveal secrets. It makes people act stupid and irresponsible, doing things they would never do if they were sober. Also, I know a lot about the horrible health effects of abusing alcohol, because I work at a research center that focuses on addiction and substance abuse.

Also, I am an alcoholic, which means that if I drink, very bad things happen. I have not had a drink in 22 years, and I have no intention of starting now. Surely there must be instances where a person is excused from the obligation to drink. I don't see how Judaism could ever promote the idea of getting drunk. It just doesn't seem right.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Putting aside for a moment all the spiritual and philosophical reasons for getting drunk on Purim, this remains an issue of common sense. Of course, teenagers should be warned of the dangers of acute alcohol ingestion. Of course, nobody should drink and drive. Of course, nobody should become so drunk to the point of negligence in performing mitzvot. And of course, a recovering alcoholic should not partake of alcohol on Purim.

Indeed, the Code of Jewish Law explicitly says that if one suspects the drinking may affect him negatively, then he should NOT drink.

Getting drunk on Purim is actually one of the most difficult mitzvot to do correctly. A person should only drink if it will lead to positive spiritual results - e.g. under the loosening affect of the alcohol, greater awareness will surface of the love for God and Torah found deep in the heart. (Perhaps if we were on a higher spiritual level, we wouldn't need to get drunk!)

Yet the Talmud still speaks of an obligation on Purim of "not knowing the difference between Blessed is Mordechai and Cursed is Haman." How then should a person who doesn't drink get the point of “not knowing”? Simple - just go to sleep! (Rama - OC 695:2)

All this applies to individuals. But the question remains - does drinking on Purim adversely affect the collective social health of the Jewish community?

The aversion to alcoholism is engrained into Jewish consciousness from a number of Biblical and Talmudic sources. There are the rebuking words of prophets - Isaiah 28:1, Hosea 3:1 with Rashi, and Amos 6:6, and the Zohar says that "The wicked stray after wine" (Midrash Ne'alam Parshat Vayera).

It is well known that the rate of alcoholism among Jews has historically been very low. Numerous medical, psychological and sociological studies have confirmed this. The connection between Judaism and sobriety is so evident, that the following conversation is reported by Lawrence Kelemen in "Permission to Receive":

When Dr. Mark Keller, editor of the Quarterly Journal of Studies on Alcohol, commented that "practically all Jews do drink, and yet all the world knows that Jews hardly ever become alcoholics," his colleague, Dr. Howard Haggard, director of Yale's Laboratory of Applied Physiology, jokingly proposed converting alcoholics to the Jewish religion in order to immerse them in a culture with healthy attitudes toward drinking!

Perhaps we could suggest that it is precisely because of the use of alcohol in traditional ceremonies (Kiddush, Bris, Purim, etc.), that Jews experience such low rates of alcoholism. This ceremonial usage may actually act like an inoculation - i.e. injecting a safe amount that keeps the disease away.

Of course, as we said earlier, all this needs to be monitored with good common sense. Yet in my personal experience - having been in the company of Torah scholars who were totally drunk on Purim - they acted with extreme gentleness and joy. Amid the Jewish songs and beautiful words of Torah, every year the event is, for me, very special.

Adar 12 marks the dedication of Herod's renovations on the second Holy Temple in Jerusalem in 11 BCE. Herod was king of Judea in the first century BCE who constructed grand projects like the fortresses at Masada and Herodium, the city of Caesarea, and fortifications around the old city of Jerusalem. The most ambitious of Herod's projects was the re-building of the Temple, which was in disrepair after standing over 300 years. Herod's renovations included a huge man-made platform that remains today the largest man-made platform in the world. It took 10,000 men 10 years just to build the retaining walls around the Temple Mount; the Western Wall that we know today is part of that retaining wall. The Temple itself was a phenomenal site, covered in gold and marble. As the Talmud says, "He who has not seen Herod's building, has never in his life seen a truly grand building."

Some people gauge the value of themselves by what they own. But in reality, the entire concept of ownership of possessions is based on an illusion. When you obtain a material object, it does not become part of you. Ownership is merely your right to use specific objects whenever you wish.

How unfortunate is the person who has an ambition to cleave to something impossible to cleave to! Such a person will not obtain what he desires and will experience suffering.

Fortunate is the person whose ambition it is to acquire personal growth that is independent of external factors. Such a person will lead a happy and rewarding life.

With exercising patience you could have saved yourself 400 zuzim (Berachos 20a).

This Talmudic proverb arose from a case where someone was fined 400 zuzim because he acted in undue haste and insulted some one.

I was once pulling into a parking lot. Since I was a bit late for an important appointment, I was terribly annoyed that the lead car in the procession was creeping at a snail's pace. The driver immediately in front of me was showing his impatience by sounding his horn. In my aggravation, I wanted to join him, but I saw no real purpose in adding to the cacophony.

When the lead driver finally pulled into a parking space, I saw a wheelchair symbol on his rear license plate. He was handicapped and was obviously in need of the nearest parking space. I felt bad that I had harbored such hostile feelings about him, but was gratified that I had not sounded my horn, because then I would really have felt guilty for my lack of consideration.

This incident has helped me to delay my reactions to other frustrating situations until I have more time to evaluate all the circumstances. My motives do not stem from lofty principles, but from my desire to avoid having to feel guilt and remorse for having been foolish or inconsiderate.

Today I shall...

try to withhold impulsive reaction, bearing in mind that a hasty act performed without full knowledge of all the circumstances may cause me much distress.

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