Boy's Whale-Song Imitation Not Helping Anything

BROOKLYN, NY—Whale songs voiced in a local diner by 8-year-old Sasha Tyler Holgerton Monday did not in any way, shape, or form help anything, according to the adults ostensibly supervising the boy. "Sasha's chicken tenders took a little while to arrive, and while I'm very proud of my son for knowing his whale songs, I had to tell him that making those noises over and over wasn't really a good idea," part-time mother Barbara Stein-Holgerton said, explaining her difficulty in calmly explaining to Sasha that he should not mimic animals, throw ice, or stand on his seat in restaurants. "Sasha is very bright, so sometimes he forgets to use inside voices, or respect people's quiet time." Whether the boy believed his repeated whale songs would facilitate better service could not be confirmed by press time.