Okay, so getting smarter is probably a stretch, but I am definitely learning. I’m learning that my life is boring. B-O-R-I-N-G. Nobody ever throws punches, pulls hair or flips tables at my parties. Nobody ever has nervous breakdowns or drunken tirades at my dinners. Nobody ever mean-Tweets about me. Nothing. My life if boring, bland and dull. I get along with my friends and family, and they get along with each other. It’s all just far too mundane.

To remedy this, I suggested to Hubby #1 that we move to Jersey. Clearly, that’s where the action is. Plus, from what I can figure, you can be bankrupt and broke but still live in the lap of luxury, so we wouldn’t have to worry about working. Hubby #1 quickly and without even taking time to consider my idea shot it down. No Jersey for us.

So, maybe spicing my current life up is the answer, but again the problem of actually getting along with the people in my life is an issue. I imagined throwing a party and then stirring up some major shit between people, but I couldn’t really think of any shit to be stirred. Plus, being as non-confrontational as I am would have made this really hard.

Then, when I really started to think about it, I realized that my life used to be exciting. My dad had a Real Housewife worthy temper and I grew up constantly subjected to raging family feuds and furniture flipping, and I didn’t really like it. It was upsetting, unsettling and downright destructive (both to our lives and our stuff). I realized that it might just be the more intelligent decision to continue living in the peace and harmony that makes for a happy, albeit less exciting, life.

So, there you have it Hubby #1 – watching The Real Housewives actually IS making me smarter.