Rumour Mill + Notts County | The Guardianhttps://www.theguardian.com/football/series/rumourmill+nottscounty
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Football transfer rumours: Kasper Schmeichel to Bayern Munich?https://www.theguardian.com/football/2010/may/06/football-transfer-rumours-kasper-schmeichel
Today's flim-flam wants to be elected<p>A shocking bold-type confession in this morning's Sun: "FERGIE: I WANT TO BED CHERYL".</p><p>The Mill had to take quite a long breath after reading this. What to make of it? The ultimate statement of enduring longevity, perhaps. Retiring? How's this for retiring? And while you're at it check out my florid, hoarsely-panting 68-year-old leaked inter-generational celebrity sex tape. Maybe it's a simple statement of fact, a knightly tribute to the nation's favourite doll. Or more likely desperate next-generation mind games ahead of the final round of Premier League matches, some kind of crazed mess-with-Ashley's-head gambit.</p> <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/football/2010/may/06/football-transfer-rumours-kasper-schmeichel">Continue reading...</a>Transfer windowNotts CountyBayern MunichCardiff CityBlackburn RoversArsenalRomaDynamo KyivFootballSportThu, 06 May 2010 08:18:56 GMThttp://www.theguardian.com/football/2010/may/06/football-transfer-rumours-kasper-schmeichelPhotograph: Ed Sykes/Action ImagesKasper Schmeichel: turning his back on the Football League for Bundesliga? Photograph: Ed Sykes/Action ImagesPhotograph: Ed Sykes/Action ImagesKasper Schmeichel: turning his back on the Football League for Bundesliga? Photograph: Ed Sykes/Action ImagesBarney Ronay2010-05-06T08:18:56ZFootball transfer rumours: David Platt to Notts County?https://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/oct/05/notts-county-david-platt
Today's fluff still isn't sold on parsnips<p>Grey skies, bleary eyes, that strange hollow feeling in your gut and rumours so few and far between they make planets seem, well, many and close together. Yes, <strong>it must be Monday morning</strong> and all the spirit-crushing, soul-sapping misery it brings. Just as well, then, that we have Notts County to cheer us up.</p><p>According to the Mirror "ambitious" Notts are <strong>ready to ditch Ian McParland</strong> and replace him with ... wait for it ... David <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2007/sep/28/smalltalk.sportinterviews" title="" we're="" entering="" the="" realms="" of="" stupidity""="">'We're entering the realms of stupidity'</a> Platt. Clearly unfazed by his disastrous spells at Nottingham Forest and Sampdoria, Sven-Goran Eriksson believes the former England midfielder is just the man to plot the Magpies' scorching ascent through the leagues. Probably.</p> <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/oct/05/notts-county-david-platt">Continue reading...</a>Notts CountyAston VillaFulhamLiverpoolFootballSportMon, 05 Oct 2009 08:19:00 GMThttp://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/oct/05/notts-county-david-plattPhotograph: Ian Cartwright/ITVHang on, we've got the wrong one, haven't we? Photograph: ITVPhotograph: Ian Cartwright/ITVHang on, we've got the wrong one, haven't we? Photograph: ITVJohn Ashdown2009-10-05T08:19:00ZFootball transfer rumours: Franck Ribéry to stay put at Bayern Munich?https://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/sep/16/football-transfer-rumours-franck-ribery
Today's gumph is still struggling with its grief<p>As autumn's chill breath wheezes through the rafters of The Mill's discarded IKEA phlegm two-drawer cabinet on the central reservation thistle patch outside the freshly burnished New Guardian Towers, thoughts turn increasingly to death and decay. Only yesterday, while watching the video to Michael Jackson's Thriller, The Mill found itself genuinely creeped out. Mainly because it struck The Mill that this is what Michael Jackson would look like right now if he did actually leap up and start doing a freaky zombie dance, the freaky zombie Thriller make-up no doubt an exact reflection of his current state of physical putrefaction.</p><p>And so The Mill found itself brooding on death and decay, on a vision of a world where Patrick Swayze sings She's Like The Wind and leaves the Dirty Dancing holiday camp in his 1950s car and then just never comes back, never says "no one puts Baby in the corner", and instead gets a job as a cha-cha-cha instructor somewhere else, while she marries the horrible bloke whose dad runs the camp.</p> <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/sep/16/football-transfer-rumours-franck-ribery">Continue reading...</a>Franck RibéryBayern MunichMiddlesbroughNewcastle UnitedNotts CountyFootballSportWed, 16 Sep 2009 08:22:31 GMThttp://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/sep/16/football-transfer-rumours-franck-riberyPhotograph: JUERGEN SCHWARZ/AFP/Getty ImagesBayern coach Louis van Gaal feels the love from Franck Ribéry. Photograph: Juergen Schwarz/AFP/Getty ImagesPhotograph: JUERGEN SCHWARZ/AFP/Getty ImagesBayern coach Louis van Gaal feels the love from Franck Ribéry. Photograph: Juergen Schwarz/AFP/Getty ImagesBarney Ronay2009-09-16T08:22:31ZFootball transfer rumours: Ruud van Nistelrooy to Tottenham Hotspur?https://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/sep/08/football-transfer-rumours-ruud-van-nistelrooy-tottenham
Today's piffle believes only big books can reverse the broken window syndrome<p>We've seen the future and it is looking bleak. With Manchester City and Liverpool the <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/sep/08/manchester-city-rennes-transfer-fifa-complaint" title="latest clubs to face accusations">latest clubs to face accusations</a> of <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/sep/07/crewe-alexandra-dario-gradi" title="dodgy dealings with youth players">dodgy dealings with youth players</a> and the threat of transfer bans looming like Andre the Giant at an Oompa-Loompa convention, how many clubs are going to be left for the Mill to link with the latest six-year-old African wonderkid, toddling east European new Pelé or foetal South American superstar? We'll be left with gossip like this:</p><p>LUCIANO SPALLETTI IS TO JOIN MANCHESTER UNITED! To study their training methods.</p> <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/sep/08/football-transfer-rumours-ruud-van-nistelrooy-tottenham">Continue reading...</a>Tottenham HotspurReal MadridChelseaManchester CitySwansea CityMiddlesbroughNotts CountyBarcelonaRomaHull CityHarry RedknappManchester UnitedFootballSportTue, 08 Sep 2009 08:29:59 GMThttp://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/sep/08/football-transfer-rumours-ruud-van-nistelrooy-tottenhamPhotograph: Denis Doyle/Getty ImagesRuud van Nistelrooy celebrates the news that Harry Redknapp wants to bring him to White Hart Lane. Photograph: Denis Doyle/Getty ImagesPhotograph: Denis Doyle/Getty ImagesRuud van Nistelrooy celebrates the news that Harry Redknapp wants to bring him to White Hart Lane. Photograph: Denis Doyle/Getty ImagesJohn Ashdown2009-09-08T08:29:59ZFootball transfer rumours: Rio Ferdinand to Real Madrid? | Paolo Bandinihttps://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/sep/07/tranfer-rumours-rio-ferdinand-real-madrid
Today's Mill won three games in as many days<p>As windows go, football's transfer window is fairly disappointing. For starters you can't look through it, lean out of it, or lob a brick at it. You can't breathe on it and draw faces with your finger or make one side of it reflective to facilitate voyeurism. You can't even decorate it with colourful bumper stickers that cause total strangers to assume you are a cretin. And these days, it seems, you can't even rely on it to stop teams from signing footballers when it's closed.</p><p>A shut transfer window only prevents clubs from signing other teams' players you see, and even as the Mill types, managers craving a quick fix are scanning lists of the unemployed in the hope of finding anyone who can kick a ball. Everton's David Moyes was the first to spot that the Bolivia centre-back <strong>Ronald Raldes has quit his post at Cruz Azul</strong>. Portsmouth's Paul Hart, on the other hand, was only the 46th to note that <strong>Henri Camara</strong> is out of work, but should still be the first to act on it.</p> <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/sep/07/tranfer-rumours-rio-ferdinand-real-madrid">Continue reading...</a>Rio FerdinandManchester UnitedReal MadridBarcelonaEvertonNotts CountyFootballSportMon, 07 Sep 2009 08:18:50 GMThttp://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/sep/07/tranfer-rumours-rio-ferdinand-real-madridPhotograph: Michael Steele/EMPICS Sports Photo AgencyCould Roberto Carlos be taking his thunderous thighs to Nottingham? Photograph: Michael Steele/EmpicsPhotograph: Michael Steele/EMPICS Sports Photo AgencyCould Roberto Carlos be taking his thunderous thighs to Nottingham? Photograph: Michael Steele/EmpicsPaolo Bandini2009-09-07T08:18:50ZFootball transfer rumours: Jack Wilshere to Rangers? | Paolo Bandinihttps://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/aug/31/transfer-rumours-jack-wilshere-rangers
Today's Mill is proud of the blue and the orange<p>While most of Britain makes plans for a lazy Bank Holiday Monday, desperate managers up and down the country are hard at work buttering up their remaining transfer targets. Quite literally, in the case of Notts County boss Ian McParland, because frankly <strong>Christian Vieri</strong> just isn't going to squeeze through a closing window without a little lubricant to ease his passage.</p><p>Yes, silly season continues down at Meadow Lane – where a move for <strong>Freddie Ljungberg</strong> is also being discussed in earnest. Outright deluded season, however, has just begun up in Glasgow, where Rangers apparently believe they can persuade Arsène Wenger to sell them <strong>Jack Wilshere</strong>. Well, actually they probably only believe they can get him on loan, but the report in the Times is vague, so we're going to go with the more sensationalist line.</p> <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/aug/31/transfer-rumours-jack-wilshere-rangers">Continue reading...</a>Transfer windowArsenalManchester UnitedNotts CountyTottenham HotspurPortsmouthPremier LeagueFootballSportJack WilshereMon, 31 Aug 2009 08:12:00 GMThttp://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/aug/31/transfer-rumours-jack-wilshere-rangersPhotograph: Glyn Kirk/AFP/Getty ImagesIs Jack Wilshere going to Rangers? No, of course not. Photograph: Glyn Kirk/AFP/Getty ImagesPhotograph: Glyn Kirk/AFP/Getty ImagesIs Jack Wilshere going to Rangers? No, of course not. Photograph: Glyn Kirk/AFP/Getty ImagesPaolo Bandini2009-08-31T08:12:00ZFootball transfer rumours: Luis Figo to Notts County? | Barry Glendenninghttps://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/aug/17/football-transfer-rumours
Today's tittle-tattle didn't get where it is today by wearing underpants decorated with Beethoven<p>Having gone back to the drawing board after Saturday's slaughter at the hands of Arsenal, Everton manager David Moyes has spent the past 36 hours scratching away with his charcoals - some light there ... dark there ... a bit of shade ... rub, rub, rub - and has just stepped back to gaze admiringly at his expertly etched monochrome portrait of Middlesbrough striker <strong>Tuncay</strong>, which is not as impressive as it sounds when you consider he set out to capture the likeness of a new back four to replace the one he picked to line up against Arsenal. Chief among the culprits was <strong>Joleon Lescott</strong>, the Moby Dick to Manchester City manager Mark Hughes' Captain Ahab.</p><p>But even though he played like a sickly child who'd been given the chance to participate in a Premier League match for Everton by the Make A Wish foundation, Lescott is <em>still</em> wanted by Manchester City and could yet go there in one of those fashionable new Eto'o + £35m = Ibrahimovic type deals where, for reasons best known to themselves, suits from one club buy a footballer from another and pay for him with a <em>better</em> footballer <em>and</em> a lorry-load of money.</p> <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/aug/17/football-transfer-rumours">Continue reading...</a>Transfer windowPremier LeagueFootballSportNotts CountyMon, 17 Aug 2009 08:14:01 GMThttp://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/aug/17/football-transfer-rumoursPhotograph: Giuseppe Cacace/AFP/Getty ImagesCan Sven persuade this man to come out of retirement and ply his trade in League Two? Photograph: Giuseppe Cacace/AFP/Getty ImagesPhotograph: Giuseppe Cacace/AFP/Getty ImagesCan Sven persuade this man to come out of retirement and ply his trade in League Two? Photograph: Giuseppe Cacace/AFP/Getty ImagesBarry Glendenning2009-08-17T08:14:01ZFootball transfer rumours: David Beckham to Tottenham? | Howard Swainshttps://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/jul/21/football-transfer-rumours-david-beckham-tottenham
Today's rumours are relishing the times of plenty<p>Time was (February-June approximately) that the cherub-cheeked Mill would leap from its straw-bale bunk, clasp a shiny sovereign in its grubby paw and skip down the chilly street to the rumour shop to find nought but a sharp pang of disappointment. A dark and misty window was slammed tight before the shelves where the tasty morsels might lie, and even if the Mill pressed its pudgy nose hard enough against the pane, only empty trays could be discerned; a dizzy wasp and a weary fly creeping across bitter crumbs of rumours past. Him to there, and Gareth Barry, etc.</p><p>Now, though, those days are gone, and tedious filler metaphors need stretch no longer than one paragraph and this line. The shelves are stocked with bursting buns of idle tittle-tattle and the Mill tips the scales at a <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/jul/14/football-transfer-rumours-patrick-vieira" title="healthy 250-plus comments per day">healthy 250-plus comments per day</a>. Enough, then, of the appetiser, on with the feast.</p> <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/jul/21/football-transfer-rumours-david-beckham-tottenham">Continue reading...</a>Transfer windowPremier LeagueTottenham HotspurAston VillaDavid BeckhamLA GalaxyManchester CityInternazionaleBirmingham CityReadingBolton WanderersNewcastle UnitedWest Ham UnitedSunderlandFulhamWest Bromwich AlbionMiddlesbroughHull CityNapoliLiverpoolEvertonNotts CountyNottingham ForestFootballSportTue, 21 Jul 2009 08:26:00 GMThttp://www.theguardian.com/football/2009/jul/21/football-transfer-rumours-david-beckham-tottenhamPhotograph: Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty ImagesDavid Beckham hugs Ronaldinho during friendly in Los Angeles. Photograph: Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty ImagesPhotograph: Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty ImagesDavid Beckham hugs Ronaldinho during friendly in Los Angeles. Photograph: Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty ImagesHoward Swains2009-07-21T08:26:00Z