It went well. I got 1 question half wrong (I forgot an important step in a procedure because I got mixed up between classes of biohazardous specimens).

I actually interpretted a standard deviation statistics graph which you can only really do with stats knowledge because they didn't even say what the graph was for. And I was the only person who used the tools provided in the second task instead of making a mess on the interview panels desk, nobody else noticed what they could be used for.

All in all it went ok. I was only slightly sarcastic cause nerves, but it was viewed as humour because the panel speak to me every day.

[quote=Ith] Cy has been throwing the word "gay" around several times with no reason, I remember tellign her not to do it at least once. I find it a way of trolling, literally, as she does it off topic with no specific reason, and it has caused reactions more than once[/quote]I have no recollection of being told not to.No specific reason. Try again. I took to entering chat and saying 'gay'. It pleased me. There was no other reason.My arse did it cause reactions.

[quote=Lady Girl]She seems to be getting worse to me. I don't know what to think. It seems like she knows what she's doing and wants to see how bad she can be without getting another warning. [/quote]Most interesting post of the entire thread.

[quote=Gir]I agree, it seems almost a game to her. One minute she is causing trouble and then she is making excuses for her actions... I also think she is ignoring Mods in general...[/quote]I'm 24. 99% of everything is a game to me. I was ignoring mods long before then.

[quote=Nao]Seeing as this isn't the first time, I'd say warn. Maybe emphasize that any derogatory language, whether intended as such or not, is not tolerated in chat.[/quote]Seriously, when was the first time. Gay isn't derogatory language. I'm pretty sure I just switched gay with 'faggot' after this because lovely juicy meatballs and f*ck you.

[quote=Ith]The nudge I'd send her is that it's about time to stop acting like this. For serious[/quote]Ironically, I would actually have listened to this and wouldn't have even be permabanned.

[quote=Qute]My issue is that, even when she was called on it by more than one person, she went on to aggressively defend her word choice. [/quote]MORE THAN ONE PERSON = BEING ATTACKED.

I don't take that shit lying down.

[quote=Gir]Voted I agree with Qute on this one it was more then just the actual mis-use of the word "Gay" on this one.[/quote]Butthurt.

[quote=LG]I'm just sorry that her first warning seems to have spurred her into what appears to be spiteful behavior as opposed to being a bit more mindful of her own[/quote].Assume.

^ that word.

Did you know assuming makes an ass out of you and me?

[quote=Nao] I understand that Cy has a... more delicate personality[/quote]That's one way of putting it

A name is Required just thinks I need more hugs. Hugs, not warns. Definitely the way forward.

[quote=Tadkitty]We value your presence as a member of our community and we hope you take our suggestions to heart.[/quote]You say this to everyone, I knew you didn't think I was special </3

[quote=Great WTF]we have another report from Cy, along with this [Link3] charming response[/quote]"Charming"?

Ith #33 - The reasons I was warned were never clear to me either.

[quote=LG]It's a disparaging remark against a sexual orientation. Is she going to try to say she meant gay as in 'happy' followed with a post about not liking the people.[/quote]Remember what we discussed with the whole don't accuse me of stuff I didnt do thing.

Ith #38 - It never was clear!

MAYBE YOU CANT EXPLAIN WHERE I BROKE THE TOS BECAUSE I DIDNT AND ITS ALL OVER GIR BEING BUTTHURT ON THAT PARTICULAR DAY.

LG "If we want to make a special exception for Cy here I think you should specifically say so. I don't think the warn system changes should be stopped from being implemented because of Cy. I do think I would be willing to make a special exception for Cy and chat ban this time instead of AVEN ban and she should be told we are doing this for her."

Well this and time stamps clear up that you didn't deliberately wait for the new rules to warn me. Sorry Tea.

[quote=LG]I think the context is important because it shows subsequent trolling after being asked not to use the term.[/quote]Trolling or defending. Big difference. You guys need to get your terminology co-ordinated.

Qute #53 - Not a temper tantrum IF I DIDNT DO IT. Why can't I defend myself from an accusation. Would you just sit back and say 'sorry, wont do it again.' My behaviour is always lady like and impecable *farts loudly*

Ith #58 - YOU DID WARN ME BASED ON OTHER PEOPLES PERCEPTION OF A MISUNDERSTANDING.

[quote=Tea] other things cy has done, which are bad but unrelated.[/quote]You make it sound like I murdered your grandmother.

In today's world, where everybody is supposed to be offended by something all of the damned time, I don't think it's okay to randomly say the word "gay" anymore - not even if you happen to be looking at an old fashioned display of colorful, frilly, floofy, dust catchers. If you look at something colorful and frivolous and randomly say "gay" then you had better also be humming "Deck the Halls" when you say it.

Individuality is no longer acceptable if there's any chance that it might offend someone, and since there are those who make it the whole point of their existence to be offended . . . well, there's no winning the game.

I was puzzled by the use and that is why it is always best to clarify before dishing out punishment...it was a peculiar term to use but again...that is why it needed investigation

Dishing out penalties with no involvement of one of the key players and replacing it with..."i know what you meant" shouldn't be the standard of any disciplinary body

Looking at aven ...I would say more warnings are issued based on perception than fact but also some of the regular report button pushers...would find offence in an empty room....however..pandering to the easily offended does very little to make the situation any better or easier to deal with.

I Know , when I saw that I thought.....Your kidding right?? I know of at least one clique in aven that worked to together to get a member warned/barred and saw many more that were suspected as doing such a thing

The assumption the accuser is the only person who tells the truth has seen jails littered with innocents

The irony for me is that those very same people making that lying comment would feel aggreived if they went to work for an employer who operated on a first come first served method of corrective and punitive process.

This is why they refuse to change...many times before and I will continue to say....if you make the right decision in the right way...it will stand scrutiny...most of avens will not, even more so where only the accuser has an input.

Here's a reminder: In Nov, I tried to host a meet in London but was called back at literally the last minute (I was sat in Starbucks at Waterloo station, a 2+ hour train ride from home) because my father was taken into hospital seriously ill. Me being me, I didn't give everyone the full story. I genuinely thought he was going to die that day. He has liver disease (not a heavy drinker), gallbladder problems and they found a mass on one of his kidneys - which they thought was Cancer.

It's not, so the operation to make him better by removing his gallbladder is back on track.

Dads surgerys coming up next month, Gramps is in intensive care due to another heart attack.

And I'm a nervous wreck.

Like seriously.

Today I freaked out at the Dentist because my head started screaming at me that I was drowning (they were cleaning my teeth). Actually had to stop the session cause I was in tears.

The other day, I was on a date and ~boyfriend~ got out a torch because it was dark and shined it on the floor. I nearly had a panic attack and would have fallen over if he hadn't had his arm around me at the time.

I don't know what's wrong with me or why he is so good when I do random stuff like that. You should see me around gangs of people, it's really embarrassing.

Charade told me I should speak more about my ex because he thinks the problem lies there. I don't know what there is to talk about: standing over me with a knife and threatening to stab me, repeatedly smashing my head against a wall because I have a smart mouth and holding me against my will in a house for a week because he wasn't getting sex otherwise, were amongst the nicer things he did.

Doesn't mean your not a good person or that was any excuse for your ex to do what they did..there will never be an excuse for what he did

at some point when your the victim of an abusive partner you hit some key points

you understand this cannot continue and you need to get away because absolutely NOTHING you do..will stop the other person being who they are...you may at some time thought you could help them stop what they are doing and that is how they get you

Every time they do something and you stay...they see it as a game of control...how bad can they be to you before you walk away..and every time it escalates

A mad face an inch from you shouting in anger with spit flying..then the first hit followed by weeks of sorry...then the hit becomes several hits..again followed by sorry's...then they isolate you from your friends to continue the control over you so you have no one and they have every part of you..this is what they feed on..it is what keeps them going...

the longer it goes on they have you thinking it's your fault..so you start to think..if i do that it will set them off or if I do this in this way then it will be my fault as I could have avoided it...in truth yes in some ways you may feel like an enabler because every time they raise the bar and you stay...their mindset becomes..they will never leave me no matter what I do to them

They groom you in a way to make you feel like an enabler so they can then turn on you and say it is all your fault ..for no other reason than you are a good person in a bad relationship...and THEY don't like good because all they really want is for THEM to feel good themselves no matter what the cost is too everyone around them

What is wrong with you apart from the silly hats ....you start to feel some small bit of you is good...but this is against your programming from the abusive partner who always told you that you were bad....so you mentally beat yourself up..afraid to take that step of putting yourself first .....so many victims of abuse actually hold onto those memories because ..like depression..you know it's incredibly bad for you..but it is all you have..so better to have the devil you know than some thought you are a good person ....because that abusive partner has moulded you to think your bad and their anger is your fault...they rely on making you think..no one else understands you like they do...this is wrong..they are the bad in in your life...not you

Talking about it is often hard..you can hear it now..."why did you stay with them"..." I would have left" blah blah blah..so your afraid to talk about it because you fear others opinions making you feel like shit so you bottle it up..afraid again of another person saying your bad

By doing this the two most usual outcomes are...you shake yourself out of it but become a very much a different but often guarded person...or you go under..most likely f*cking up every normal relationship that follows because you have been groomed to believe that normal..is not normal

I am not a fan of talking to everyone about it..I am a huge fan of talking to the "right" people about it which should always be the first steps

During the first few sessions you will feel like shit because it means letting out demons you have hidden by a big emotional wall ..just so you can get by..but when you let them out you will be incredibly emotional...and for probably several sessions...but don't be put off by this...this isn't you not coping...this is you finding the strength to start to let it go

after you start to value yourself a bit more..the anger then starts to come in as you start to build your confidence again..you have every right to be angry..but don't let it be all that you are..you will emerge a different you...but different but safe is always a good start

I feel..your starting to realise your worth more than he told you but not sure where to take it

If I can offer..your g.p. should be your first point who, when listening to your experience should put you in touch local specific support groups/talking therapies. If you feel they are not for you then there are groups you can talk too directly yourself..google is your friend on this.

The two things I would offer...holding yourself back wishing things could be as they were before the abusive person came into your life so you can be "normal" again.....is never going to happen......this event will have changed you...but even in our darkest times we can take some positivity from negative change and now your road ahead has you in the driving seat...small steps..always small steps

secondly...any of us can piss off a partner at any time..hey that's relationships...but a true loving partner does not do what he did to you...this happened because of HIM...and not because of you..you need to stop blaming yourself..let it go..and realise there are good people around you

What he said!Abusers do what they do because it's what they are. They look around until they find the kind of victim that they like, and then they get busy. Their first step is to be as nice as possible in order to get their hooks in deep. They don't want their victims to get away.Nothing that anybody can do will change them into something else. The best thing to do is to leave them behind, even though it will HURT to dislodge those hooks, and then to report them in order to protect their future victims.

Abusers will only pick on very nice, compliant, and forgiving people, by the way, and that already says a lot of good things about you, smart mouth or no smart mouth.

Hey lovely, good advising people. I appreciate everything you say to me even if I don't reply.

I'm high on morphine right now. It's great.

So I had my operation today. My 40 min op actually took 5 hours. Because they found severe endometriosis and had to remove it all. It's tragic that it's taken 13 years of excruciating pain to be diagnosed all because doctors don't believe you can get it if you're under 30.

They also removed Rio, the solid cyst. Rio is now being classed as a tumour and has been sent to the Histology lab for testing because my surgeon is worried he might be malignant. I'm getting the results back for that ASAP and have a meeting with an oncologist. Waiting is going to be hell.

I'm in bed in pain but it's nothing compared to what I've had each month with the endometriosis.

Helluva mess to have to go through just to get a correct diagnosis after so many years of pain, but *fingers crossed.* Hopefully Rio will prove to be benign and that recurring pain will be a thing of the past.