Hun 18, 2015

AN— it ends with “Others will punctually come for ever and ever.” but before that, this— “And to glance with an eye or show a bean in its pod confounds the learning of all times, / And there is no trade or employment but the young man following it may become a hero, / And there is no object so soft but it makes a hub for the wheel’d universe, / And I say to any man or woman, Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes.”

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DE— A good catch is a good catch. I have been saving a Hopkins quote, and it seems this is where it should go: “I always knew in my heart Whitman's mind to be more like my own than any man's living. As he is a very great scoundrel, this is not a pleasant confession.”

A poem has been written about this connection, one that goes rather well with the lines you’ve ear-marked. I’ll see if I can dig it up later in the day.

DE— Hello again! I was talking about a new poem, luckily available for reading here. Schulman’s “Letter Never Sent” begins with the Hopkins quote as an epigraph then tenders us such tercets as these:

we cannot walk together,
I in black soutane, you
in an open shirt,

nor can I send this letter,
Jesuit to scoundrel,
unconverted

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DE—Thanks for this surprising but apparently productive way to compare (gaps/absences). Not sure yet if I got your point right, but here’s a shot: He promotes contradiction means that Whitman’s actually giving an excess of answers. But instead of choosing one or two from his bounty of conflicting positions, the (absent?) answer is to embrace contradiction itself (as Whitman does “for ever and ever”).

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AN— (edgar allan’s still outside of course, shouting about family, inheritance, demanding to be let in, a stolen bottle of whiskey in the curl of his fist)

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DE— Says around after the middle of the first paragraph here (courtesy of Jarrell) that Hopkins actually saw five or six Whitman poems in a newspaper review. In her poem, Schulman pushes it up to “memorized” (not yet sure if there’s basis for that, but it sure sounds like something a Hopkins would do to “assume” a Whitman):

Let each in his way
catch the hawk alive in air,
tongue-tied, stammering,

in whatever whirled words
will suffice.
I’ve memorized six of your poems

Even if your efforts came on time, they’d have been sorely lacking. You made only 40% of the total while the passing is 60%.

You were late thrice and absent 6x. You earned 5.0 because of (1) excessive unexcused absences as well as (2) poor scholastic performance. Even a valid excuse can’t convert your EUA to DRP because majority of your absences would still remain unexcused.

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bless you too. see you around

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Hi! Thank you so much for this. It has been a pleasure to read you and—in the latter months—to hear you. And then, there’s this note. Glad to have read this early at the office, as it means higher bandwidth and so a higher chance that my reply would reach you (but others have been coming in too... at the rate of about one every fifteen minutes; so I must send this before they bring out their laptops). I opened a poetry book at random (p. 609) and was blindly led by finger to these lines:

Would it have been worth the while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,

I hope the midyear shapes into something to your liking. And, that your pen only stops when you want it to stop. Thank you again for your most wonderful message.

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yey! pangcover photo ito

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I did not expect you would swamp my inbox with messages
One would have sufficed

Received

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Salamat sa participation... at (oo nga) sa perfect attendance! Was lucky to have gotten you in my one section of the sem. Have a lovely midyear ahead

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Great to have three (and to have fun!)
Will take all but will only post one in the group album

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2.25

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Glad to have had you
also, for the semester

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Thank you for the comment! And for your participation in class, overall. Wishing you a restful midyear

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Wow! Thank you so much for your folded note. I came in early, and was sweeping the office, when I found it. It's bound to be a good morning.

I think I should be thanking you. I was never afraid to pause after a question because I knew that if nobody raised a hand, we could always rely on your ready insight. I opened a book at random and got p.541, Crane’s “In the desert”:

I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, “Is it good, friend?”
“It is bitter—bitter,” he answered;

“But I like it
“Because it is bitter,
“And because it is my heart.”

Again, thank you. Your future teachers will be very lucky to have you.

Hun 11, 2015

I've slept there and did
Most of my childhood.
That was warmth—in fact—

And comfort—in spite
Of the unconsealed
Unconsealable

Smell. Terror? That was
And always will be
Mother cursing Dad

And there there I am
Alone in that night
Hearing that door slam.

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DE— The word “enuresis” works very well with the sounds of the first stanza. Also, it has an onomatopoeic quality.

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DE— Thanks for this poem. Like him a lot as well. What I’ve heard of him, what I’ve read from his hands. I appreciate the poems where his layers are hidden, almost denied, like in his shorter haiku-type poems. The layers in this one’s more explicit, there are already (at least) two terrors, and they seem to increase the more you give to / take from the reading.

The first time I read it, I thought terror came from the punishment of the parents (door slam) but now it seems to me that we also behold the terror of the parents’ fight, the possibility of breaking up the family, abandonment. The pain blooms here, I think, as the poem confuses me (and maybe the child) if his enuresis was effect or cause of the parents heated argument, the door slamming not only between the child and his parents but also between the parents, and thus pressed, the child’s internal system finds a way, a small (unconsealable) way out.

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AN— yes to all points! except maybe to that guilt part. So much time and possibility in the here and now for us and I’m glad to be here“as long as you are” with or without any buzz

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DE— Bedwetting seems to move the focus away from what’s inside. The effect is emphasized. For me, “enuresis” works better to preserve that mystery, the struggle between child and adult, waking and dreaming, control and freedom.

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DE—A bit more on the title. I find a sense of detachment in it. It’s an adult word, something he earned (or at least, looked up, looked into) and applied to the state of a younger self who would not have known the word at the time. Maybe an effort (futile?) to seal off or seal away the unconsealable.

H— Intense! "a goal one might or might not achieve during his or her lifetime" - Kahit alam ito, may obsession sa present at sa mga hakbang/proseso:I will not let anything Take away What's standing in front of me

There is that goal but here is the struggle attitude. Then, "I'll love you for a Thousand more". Nothing ever ends moda.

D— "There is that goal but here is the struggle attitude." Di ba lang? Every hour has come to this One step closer

At every (other) point we have the tension between the protracted and the immediate, the urgency and the incredible incapacity of the hoped-for to be right-here, right-now