Hubbykins greeted me this morning with, "Happy 1 year Due-Date-iversary!" I've spent an entire year saying, "One year ago today, I was just finishing morning sickness, feeling him kick, big as a submarine, etc." I won't be able to say that much longer.

I greeted the Pea with a kiss on that little spot above his nose that God designed for baby kisses. One year ago today, I wasn't super happy with him. He took his time sweet time waiting to come out.

Looking back on my pregnancy, I can't say that I enjoyed it. I worried. I reveled. I loved. But I didn't just sit back and enjoy. There were some extraneous complicating factors out of my control involved, but it still makes me sad looking back. Just a twinge of regret. The Pea will always be my first child, and my WIP will always be my first novel.

I don't want to look back on these early days of writing--carrying a notebook around to scribble picture book ideas, breathing a sigh of relief when a scene gels, staying up until midnight in a frenzy of creativity--and regret. I want to enjoy this process. I will let myself enjoy this process.

Note to self: You ar a grown woman. Stop traipsing around (okay, technically writing isn't the same as traipsing) until 11:30 p.m., then staying up talking to Hubbykins until 1:00 a.m. Morning Karen will hate you. Afternoon Slump Karen will despise you. And remember, the Pea has an acute sixth sense developed for just these occasions. He knows when to wake up before the sun rises. He knows.

Kristin just linked to this article on talent, passion, and discipline on her blog, and it could not have come at a better time. So encouraging and daunting at the same time. I am not a disciplined person. I might sometimes appear so on the outside, but on the inside, I'm flying seventeen different directions at once.

When I started down this path of writing with publication as a goal, I decided that 2 Timothy 1:7 is my theme verse. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." I am re-asserting this theme and posting this as a reminder to myself more than anyone else.

This song has been running through my head lately. It's how I feel about my WIP, the Pea's increasingly short naps of late (which has a significant impact on the former), housework (this is nothing new). I've had a few minor breakthroughs on my plot (huzzah!), and one of my PB's now has a much more satisfying ending (in my head...I just need to get it out on paper).

Oh, and thank you, critique peeps, for the help with the ending. As I spent most of Saturday's meeting flailing my arms and squealing in excitment at their ideas, I am especially thankful to Kim for reminding me to write down notes.

There's a great contest going on over at Princess Bookie right now. The grand prize winner wins all of these:

1. Hush Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick ARC2. Along For The Ride by Sarah Dessen ARC3. Kiss of Life by Daniel Waters ARC4. Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater ARC5. Troy High by Shana Norris ARC6. Love You Hate You Miss You by Elizabeth Scott ARC7. Reincarnation by Suzanne Weyn ARC8. Lovestruck Summer by Melissa Walker9. Death by Series by Linda Gerber (3 books total)10. a 5 dollar giftcard from Walmart (you can buy yourself half of a book with it, lol)11. 3 Sarah Dessen books ( Just Listen, This Lullaby, Someone Like You)
12. Suite Scarlett by Maureen Johnson
13. Fire By Kristin Cashmore ARC14. Last but not least, I have some extra amazon cards, so I will also include a preorder for CATCHING FIRE BY SUZANNE COLLINS. It will be shipped to on or around Sept 1st (whenever they ship it)

Hubbykins, this morning, very sweetly said, "I'm curious about what your bedside table plan is." That was his tactful way of saying, "Please! For the love of all that is good and pure, remove a few of the messy piles o' paper." Which I did, and all is well.

I grow jealous of the writers who have their offices featured in Entertainment Weekly. Streamlined desks, non-post-it-covered laptops, organized pendaflex filing system, and a regal horse statue (always the horse).

Yes, I look at it and say, "Oh, her name is Matilda Rose! She has red braids and a dimple on her left cheek and Xavier Roberts' signature on her heiny. In purple. She is you-nique! She is a special, special flower."

But in my heart of hearts, I'm terrified that you would look at it and see a molded plastic head, stitched-on fingers, and a nubbin for a bellybutton.

I had a great weekend, creativity-wise. That was helped in large part by meeting with my critique group: Kate, Kristin, and Mandy. Those ladies inspire me, encourage me, and give me a good swift kick in the pants when needed.

Went to see Wicked Saturday night. It blew my mind grapes...again.

On a side note, I lurvvv when a story comes to me in one fell swoop. It's ever-so annoying when it comes in one fell swoop minus the ending. I'm in that boat right now. What I should do: put it away for a week or two and look at it with fresh eyes. What I'm going to do: eat a bunch of Starbursts and hope that the sugar rush triggers a lightning bolt of inspiration.

My Books

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Welcome!

Hi! My name's Karen Akins. My YA time travel novel LOOP is available now with St. Martin's Press. The sequel TWIST releases March 31, 2015. I'm a self-professed geek--also a wife to Hubbykins, a mom to the Pea and Boo, and a follower of Jesus. And, occasionally, I find time to vacuum. I'm repped by the marvelous Victoria Marini at Gelfman Schneider Literary Agency/ICM Partners. All are welcome here.