it's just not going to be the same without you around....you have deeply touched so many people, and that was so very apparent over the weekend. may your journeys take you to places unimaginable...be well my friend...

I can't stop wondering where you are right now. Where are you? How does a beautiful life, like yours just POOF, disapear in a second flat? I don't think it does. It can't.

I believe you're all around us. Watching us. Watching our day-to-day routines and interactions with others. Watching us make mistakes and wanting so badly to let us know about them, as you did so well. Watching us have joyful times and smiling along, that wonderful smile that would light a room. Watching us have not-so-joyful times and being there for us, though we might not know you're there. Watching us grow as people, as parents, as individuals. Watching us in the shower......I had to throw that in, don't think I haven't wondered about that one Cha-wee.

You were so special to so many people, Charlie. So special to me, though I may not have always shown it. I have terrible guilt that so much time went by without seeing you. Why did you have to leave so suddenly? It's not fair. There were so many good times left for you to have.

So many "Charlie" moments have happened to me since you left. I just wish you were here for me to share them with. My heart tells me that you are.

Oh Charlie...it feels like the sadness will last forever. There are so many things to remind me of you. So many things I want to say to you. So many of my dreams that will never be fulfilled. The empty space in the fabric of our lives seems endless. The fact that that you are gone from our lives seems impossible. My only comfort is the belief that your spirit, the essence of Charlie, lives on - in each of our hearts, and in spaces we can only begin to imagine.