Fear (Part 3)

<OTHER PEOPLES STUFF>

From the group of assignments two weeks ago, I have to agree that Brian’s assignment is the one that I felt was closest to the way that I felt (or used to feel) about my fears and anxieties. Very few of the other projects quite got me the way that one did. There were a few that made me uncomfortable and a few that I thought were sad, but not frightening but in the end after I left the class I cleared my mind of just about everything so I wouldn’t overthink it. I don’t like to dwell on things and since I tend to be a really empathetic person I found myself trying really hard to not think about it.

From the group of assignments last week, I was really affected by Colby’s talk, but it wasn’t really about fear so much as just feeling a since of helplessness that made me uncomfortable (it’s none of my business) and yet wanting to help also (I would take the responsibility of making it my business if I had to). The other one that really got me was Monica’s and it’s not just because of her “mental breakdown”- I really identified with her. I mean, that’s exactly how I felt in high school and when I started college, except that I was a loser and decided that I didn’t care enough about my writing to finish it, let alone show it off to people. And now I have a horrible habit of not doing things when I think people won’t like them–or worse, when I convince myself that it’ll be a waste of my time to try.

In retrospect, it’s not that other people’s assignments didn’t effect me at all, it’s just that these rung-out as being the ones to catch my attention the most, probably because I identified with them the best- or because the subject matter and presentation were so powerful. The other projects sort of blend into groups of “this is my phobia” or “here’s a project that sort of abstractly demonstrates my fear, maybe”. Most of them either made me feel ill or made me laugh for some reason. Like I said, I’m an empathetic person so whatever most of the room was feeling I pretty much reflected that at the time.