Somewhere on the outskirts of reason... Or where good television can be found.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

The Replacements 'Tim'

Jamie and I settled in for Monday night in the early evening. Since we arrived on the Outer Banks, it had been rather chilly and with the wind… It was downright cold!

We were also there during what the locals call, the off-season. There weren’t a whole lot of things open… Like the local drinking/socializing establishments. So there wasn’t a whole lot for Jamie and I to do within walking range except for turning on the television.

There’s nothing like watching Chuck, 24, and Medium on the edge of the East Coast. Just being that much closer to the Continental Shelf made watching those shows all the more exciting.

Since we had spent our daily “mad money” at the Five Guys in Nags Head, we ate sandwiches in our room. We had packed away provisions before we left so that we could save money… After all, I don’t have a full-time job.

Before I prepared a sandwich, I opened up my cup of leftover French fries from Five Guys. Those jokers didn’t really “wow” me when they were hot and fresh, but they came alive with flavor cold and right out of the cup. They were so good, I didn’t even bother to heat them up. As a matter of fact, I ate them before I got that sandwich made.

Big mistake.

I woke up on that cold, rainy Tuesday morning with a horrible stomach ache. I begged Jamie to go out and find someone with a gun. Any kind of gun. Outdoorsy or police officer. I didn’t care as long as they were willing to put a pillow over my face and send the contents of my skull all over the floor. I just wanted to be put out of my misery.

We had planned to visit Ocracoke Island, but I didn’t leave the bed all day… That is until I broke my non-vomiting streak of over a decade.

Just when a good idea of putting something on my empty stomach popped into my head around lunch time… I got the urge to purge and made for the bathroom like a chubby and clumsy gazelle. I didn’t bother with the toilet… I pulled away the shower curtain and let those Five Guys fries loose right in the tub!

I pushed out the little bit of foul substance left in my belly, but my body wasn’t so convinced. I was dry-heaving like a mofo! My stomach had no more to give and I made noises like slaughtered animals while dry-heaving. Jamie came close to joining me just from the noise alone!

Throwing up didn’t really make me feel any better. I went back to laying on the bed to sweat or shiver or whatever my body wanted to do.

Jamie wanted to go to Pop’s for dinner, but I didn’t want to chance it. I still didn’t feel up to leaving the bed and spew chamber. I begged her to go and if I felt like eating something, I’d send her a text message.

After about an hour, I was feeling much better and asked for some grilled chicken. Little did I know that instead of going to Pop’s, she hit the Food Lion (where everyone working there now yells “WELCOME TO FOOD LION” at you when you walk through their doors… I hate that and have stopped going there) and picked up some broccoli, mashed potatoes, and rotisserie chicken. She had read my mind before I sent that message. What an angel!

I ate the delicious meal without any repercussions from the purge bugs that had apparently left my system. I was feeling better and started bitchin’ like always.

--For those new to this blog or for those confused… The title of each blog is my musical choice of day. It’s to give you a little more insight into my twisted tastes and it also shows that I have a mild OCD because of my musical rotations.