About Me

I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

On August 11 and 12, the biggest meteor shower of the year, the Perseids, will be lighting up the night sky, and this year the Perseids promise to be the best shower of the decade.The Perseids typically peak in mid-August every year, when the Earth intersects with the trail of Comet Swift-Tuttle. Debris from the comet impacts the Earth's atmosphere and streaks across the sky, creating shooting stars. >Aly Raisman's ParentsShe's a gymnast. They look possessed.>Speaking of water sports...no, not those kinds, did you know they have to have a lifeguard at each pool event?Watching the Olympics and all I can think about are all those Romanian and Greek girls with pubic hair all the way to their navel.>The stats are in. July was Columbia's hottest month ever with an average high temperature of 99.3.>There is something fishy about this story, but I don't know enough to pin-point it.

>We all need someone who speaks fluent bullshit.

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A COUPLE OF SIGNS

>There ought to be a word for when you meow at a cat and they don't meow back.

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Take this for what it's worth..."The King Of Jordan Leaked A Secret Memo: Turkey Will Spark World War III. Europe Will Be Invaded As Bible Prophecy Reveals."

You may not know (or believe) that the bible predicts that the end of it all will come from a war in and around Israel. I have heard people argue that for that reason we must arm Israel to the teeth.

>Just say the word "nipples" and a man will do this.I find it extraordinarily confusing why women take elaborate measures to hide their nipples from view......while simultaneously revealing as much of the non-nipple breast as possible. It would be like it being okay for men to show their dicks except for the hole in the end. It just doesn't make sense.And here is a beautiful woman in a movie.How non-flattering.

>Funny how all the people wanting anarchy don't contribute anything to society to begin with.

>Arrogance.That is an F-4 fighter/bomber. People who should have known better designed it without a gun of any kind, thinking that with it bristling with missiles the enemy plane would be blown out of the air far from our guy.Well, as oft times happens in war, the enemy had a plan B. To wit, get in so close to the F-4 that their missiles were useless.So they added a wing pod with a gun in it.

>This word is very quickly fading from favor...Good riddance.

>Time is a great teacher that kills all its students.

>Rule 39:"Well, Honey, I don't make up the rules," says he.

>Do you ever look around and see all the things you have to be thankful for.Like being about to see. Seeing is good.

>That awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's and you can't do it.

>And liquor sales brisk...

>Can you see any way that this license makes sense?It looks like the front of the car.

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>Drinking at home is so much better than the bar because there isn't a last call and I can be naked.

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>If no one gets called Catholic or Jewish American, why should we call people Muslim American? (Because every week or so some of them try to kill us?)

>We are being lied to every single day.Forensic psychiatrist Park Dietz: The medias responsibility of mass murders: "Do everything you can not to make the body count the lead story [...] Make it as boring as possible, because every time we have intense saturation coverage of a mass murder, we expect to see one or two more within a week."

Here are the facts:Disclaimer: If you find any of those to be wrong, I feel confident you will let me know.>A physicist, a mathematician and an engineer were each asked to establish the volume of a red rubber ball. The physicist immersed the ball in a beaker full of water and measured the volume of the displaced fluid. The mathematician measured the diameter and calculated a triple integral. The engineer looked it up in his Red Rubber Ball Volume Table.

>Just a reminder of something I once did...

Speaking of, this is a thing now.

>Germany, what's the matter with you people?!

>Is anyone else here solipsistic, or is it only me?

>Cool Hand Luke (1967)You're welcome.

>When I was seventeen years old, my mother wanted to buy me a Austin Healey very much like this one, only red.My father, the engineer, fearing high maintenance costs nixed the idea.

> If you smacked me in the balls with a whip like that I’d probably jump at least this high…

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>A man is on his first visit to Boston, and he wants to try some of that delicious New England seafood that he'd long heard about. So he gets into a cab, and asks the driver, "Can you take me to where I can get scrod?" The driver replies, "I've heard that question a thousand time, but never in the pluperfect subjunctive."

> I've talked to many people who didn't think rich people should pay a higher percentage tax than the rest of us. Their argument arose from a notion of the unfairness. But what they neglect to put in their calculations of fairness was the fact that they get way more deductions that the average guy...or gal.You know those huge yachts? Tax deductible.The airplanes? Tax deductible.That third and fourth house? Tax deductible.>[ by the way, I have no idea what that "pluperfect subjunctive" joke meant, I just thought it was a cool thing to day.]