Monday, February 8, 2016

Is Rare Species Worth Saving?

Reported by F. Russell Grumman

ITITY Science Correspondent

The Department of the Interior has opened a public comment period regarding
its consideration of placing Dingbatus Palinensis on the endangered
species list. Discovered in 2006 by
naturalists studying the habits of Alaskan grizzly bears, this variety of brown
bat is characterized by its luxurious fur, large vacant eyes, and an incredibly
shrill vocalization sounding like a high pitched "ubetcha,
ubetcha".

Initial observation proved difficult due to the creature’s habit
of constantly flying off in the dark in no predictable direction; however researchers
finally located its home in the belfry of the Wasilla town hall. After
climbing the tower stairs, they found the door almost impossible to open as it had
been nearly blocked by a prodigious quantity of solidified guano. This led them
to hypothesize that the belfry was a roost for many more individuals than the
nuclear family they found.

However, after two years of observation they concluded it
was only the female they had originally observed, and to a lesser degree
the other members of her brood, that produced a more guano per specimen that
any other known species of bat. It is this characteristic that suggested Palinensis
should be protected, as further research might identify a sufficient number of
examples to have value as a source of natural fertilizer.

Opponents argue that if there were more, they would have already been
found. They further contend that this small group does not merit protection,
but is merely an aberrational mutation that simply stinks up any place it
appears. Moreover, they site evidence indicating that Palinensis’ droppings
are responsible for a diminution of reasoning abilities in those exposed to it
for any length of time

A decision is expected in late 2016 after all comments are
collected and considered, according to a spokesperson for the panel considering
the action. She added that if a threat to public mental health and physical
safety can be demonstrated, it may eventually trump the uniqueness and
entertainment value of the of the species.