Thursday, October 20, 2011

We have nothing to fear but....how does that go again?

As I mentioned a few days ago, we are in the middle of The Remodel. Now before any of you hunt off to search for free p0rn, I promise this post will not consist of any before and after photos. I do not intend to give a daily play-by-play of what is happening in my home.

Though I could.

But I'd be the only one left reading this blog inside of two hours, I am sure.

No, this story only relates to The Remodel as it is the reason my children are now sleeping in the basement.

Which, according to them, is evil, dark, spooky, and/or haunted.

It's been a bit of a battle, most especially with Hannah, to get them to willingly fall asleep down there.

You know, in our fully finished, well-lit, not haunted or evil, basement.

Last night, I sat down to watch a little television in the family room in the basement. It was like a moth to the flame - instantly, all three kids were at my side, attempting to snuggle on the couch. They simultaneously all pretended that I was beautiful and began petting me on the head while cooing words of love.

It was like a flash mob of sudden and really weird affection.

Not actually minding that much Being a total pushover, I told them they could have 30 minutes with me, and then it was time for bed. We put on an old Seinfeld re-run and settled in for a few laughs together.

In the middle of the show, a commercial came on. For this movie. When the "Bloody Mary" scene appeared (watch at the 57-second mark, if you're very, very brave) they all three crushed me in a vice grip of fear. I peeled their fingers and bodies off me and told them it was just a stupid commercial for a very stupid movie. I explained who Bloody Mary really was and that it was just a superstitious joke about a terrible Queen in British history.

I even went so far as to say her name three times in the mirror, just to show them the stupidity of it all.

Fortunately, she did not appear. That could have been awkward.

But later that night, I was upstairs getting ready to crawl into bed myself. I heard the sniffles before I saw the feet shuffle in sheepishly. His eyes wide with fear, Chase begged to sleep in my room. Eight seconds later, McKay was at his side making the same request. Before I could weigh a judgement, I looked down to find Hannah tucking herself and five stuffed animals into my bed.

With a sigh, I caved again -- threatening that it would only be this one time. After all, the Husband was out of town and it seemed harmless.

And it was.

Until Bloody Mary appeared and killed us all. Until about 11:30 p.m., when we were all still WIDE awake. And feeling very, very unhappy.

McKay was coughing.Hannah was yelling at McKay because he was coughing.I was yelling at Hannah because she was yelling at McKay.Chase was apologizing for everyone because he was afraid I'd send them back downstairs to their graves.

It was a disaster.

In hindsight, it might have been better if Mary had appeared.

At 11:30 p.m. on a school night, my children would probably have had less to fear from her.

Ok, I just convinced my Maddie that Bloody Mary doesn't exist because her cousins told her the story this summer. Now I have make sure she NEVER watches TV for a few weeks. I had several of my own sleepless nights. I hate movies like that.

This is hilarious on so many levels. The petting of the head and being told how beautiful we are sounds so familiar. And three grown kids in your bed? I don't know how you all managed. Thanks for the laugh. Here's to hoping tonight went much better :)

You seriously have the BEST stories!!! I literally Laughed Out Loud when you showed them that saying it into the mirror 3 times would not make it really happen because "that could have been awkward"!!! OMG, I am just imagining where this story would have gone had it appeared!! Sorry to laugh at your late night pain, I hope you all get some restful sleep soon!!

I'm sorry that I am laughing at your predicament. It's your own fault though...you make me laugh when you say such hilarious things like, "Fortunately, she did not appear. That could have been awkward." and Chase was worried that they'd all be sent back downstairs, "to their graves."

Oh, yeah, I'd be the same. Freakin' Bloody Mary couldn't hold a candle to my scariness with 3 kids up until nearly midnight on a school night.

I'm totally afraid of the commercial too and so I sympathize with your kiddos on this one. I refuse to even look in the mirror when I get up in the middle of night because of poor bladder control. I'm so afraid I'm going to see SOMETHING! Make sure you tell your kids how awesome you are for letting them sleep with you even though it was a nightmare - I've never - nor will I ever - let my kids do that. I can barely sleep in the same room as my husband - Bloody Mary or not!

This story is so awesome...not for you of course. But I am such a push over when my kids want to snuggle too that I can see this totally happening to me. You gotta love that your big kids still find you so brave and comforting...