NASA's Hansen Admits Calculation Errors In Global Warming Research

NASA scientist and Global Warming alarmist Dr. James E. Hansen shocked the Republican members of the Senate Environment and Pubic Works Committee, chaired by Senator Barbara Boxer (Democrat: Peoples Republic of California), by admitting that all of the calculations supporting the findings in his latest paper are wrong.

"About two weeks after my article was published in nature (A leading science journal.), my assistant thought there might be a problem with my hand calculator. She noticed that regardless of the numbers I punched in, the answer always came out to be 88888888.88" said Dr. Hansen. "She changed the batteries and I haven't gotten one answer of 8888888888.88 since, so my calculations must be right."

Dr. Hansensaid he didn't remember when his hand calculator had started to behave strangely or how many of his articles were invalid because of this. When asked by Senator James Inhofe (Republican-Oklahoma) if this meant that most of his research was invalid, DR. Hansen defended himself by stating "Of course not. The findings came out the way I wanted them to, so I know they must be right."

Senator Inhofe closed his allotted time by noting that he was considering starting a "Jimmy Whichard" award for scientists, and that Dr. Hansen would be the first recipient.

However, Senator Inhofe stared dumbfounded at Senator Boxer when she replied "... such an award is a great idea. I support Dr. HANSEN as the first recipient in honor of his great research in Global Warming."

In her closing remarks, Senator Boxer said: "Although the debate on Global Warming is over and closed, much research still needs to be done. That is why I will introduce a bill tomorrow to provide $15,000,000,000 to fund research in Global Warming. This appropriation will have a set-aside of $7,000,000,000 specifically for the purchase of new calculator batteries; and, $1,500,000,000 for instituting the 'Jimmy Whcihard' for science. I nominate Dr. Hansen to be the first recipient in honor of his research in global warming."

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