Friday, July 30th, the day after the due date, I woke up at 5:30 feeling energetic. I decided to make David a good breakfast. I went out to the kitchen and as I gathered the ingredients for blueberry muffins, I felt some fluid leaking out of me. I wondered if my water hadn’t broken, so I ran into the bathroom. There really wasn’t that much more that came out, so I wasn’t sure. I was feeling pretty tired, as I had all that week, so I was taking it easy. I read some Bible verses that the midwife had compiled to help with fear of labor, etc. I had mild contractions once or twice every hour all morning and early afternoon. Around 1:30 I spoke with my mom about what was going on and she urged me to call my midwife. So I did. The midwife suspected that I had just lost my mucus plug that morning and that I could still be another couple weeks.

With that, I was feeling discouraged so I decided to get out of the house and run some errands to get my mind off waiting for the baby. I headed out to CVS and 2 banks around 3:30. I dropped some photos off at CVS to be lightened and headed to the first bank. I noticed that my contractions were now about every 10 minutes. However, this had happened a couple evenings before and then went away, so I wasn’t too concerned. The teller at the first bank took a really long time and I ended up having another contraction while waiting on him to deposit my cash in the drive thru. I realized sitting in the car behind the steering wheel was not all that pleasant of a place to be while having a contraction. I just wanted to go home but since I was already in town, I finished running my errands.

By the time I got back home at 5:00 I was rather uncomfortable and the contractions were occurring about every 6 minutes. Dave had made plans earlier in the day for his brother, Steve, and his family to stop by on their way home from vacation. I was beginning to think that wasn’t such a good idea. So I tried to call Dave and tell him, but he was still working and wouldn’t answer his phone. By the time he called me back, they were in our driveway. So they came on in. My contractions slowed down a little bit with this distraction, and I visited with Steve & Surena a while. Dave got home and we decided to order a pizza. He had brought me flowers for no reason…but as he handed them to me, I realized how perfect it was because I’d probably birth his baby later that night. While we were waiting on the pizza, the Kirby vacuum salesmen showed up. Dave told them I was in labor and it wasn’t a good time. When they looked skeptical, he announced we were having a home birth and showed them the birth tub. They ran away. It had to be the best excuse they’ve ever heard.

The pizza got here around 7:00. I struggled to eat a couple pieces as my contractions began to come about every 3 minutes. I kept getting up and walking to the bathroom for each contraction because I didn’t want to scare the kids and I didn’t feel like being social during those times. Finally at 8:00, I was really starting to stress out. Dave was still in the great room chatting it up with his family, and I was having trouble remaining calm thru the pain of the contractions. There just wasn’t much of a break. They seemed to be getting longer and I was barely getting a minute break in between each one. I called for him and told him that they had to leave. He said they were working on packing things up. They yelled goodbye to me a few minutes later. I probably wasn’t very nice. I told Dave that I just really needed his help. And I needed him to call the midwives. He did. They said to call again in an hour if it was progressing.

That next hour was probably the worst of the entire experience. I felt very alone. Dave went to the bathroom (since his stomach was upset from the pizza), he took a shower (since he was filthy from work and would be getting in the birth tub with me), he washed dishes, cleaned the great room, etc, etc. He had all kinds of things that needed to be done, and I just kept yelling at him to help me, to get me water, 7up, cool wash cloths, etc. At one point, he told me that I was in the worst mood he’d ever seen me in and started laughing. That didn’t really help. I was pretty angry with him. The contractions continued to occur about every 3 minutes. Anyways, the midwives checked back in with us at 9:30 and said they’d be right over. I was lying naked on the bathroom floor in misery at that point. Dave kindly got me a nightgown so I looked a little better for them.

Amy arrived first around 9:45. She is the very first person that I talked to from Believe Midwifery Services last December when I went for my initial interview. She had resigned a few weeks before to move to Africa for a missionary type thing and I thought she was long gone. Apparently, that hadn’t worked out, so it was pretty neat that she got to attend the birth after all. She checked the baby’s heartbeat as soon as she arrived. It sounded great. She continued to check it the rest of the night. About 10:15, Shelly and Penny arrived. Shelly was job shadowing Penny for June & July, I believe. She had worked as a nurse for like 10 years in Cincinnati. She brought a lot of experience and knowledge to the table. Plus, she reminded me of Monica & Michelle Riggle, that we grew up with. Penny is the main midwife, the one that we’ve met with for the majority of the time. Her presence is so calming. Although, at first I recall being shocked that they all arrived in scrubs. I felt like I was in a hospital or something. Haha! Exactly what I was trying to avoid. But it wasn’t long before I realized that this was an amazing level of care that I’m sure would not be possible in a hospital and I calmed down. I remember one of the first things Penny said was “I never would have thought…” as she shook her head. She was shocked that I was in labor, that I didn’t even call them till I was in transition, etc. Based on our conversation earlier in the day, the fact that it was my first baby and I was only 1 day overdue, and the fact that she had a couple other moms due any day, she had figured they would go before me. In the kitchen, Penny told Dave that I’d probably be pushing out the baby in a couple hours.

Anyways, back in the bathroom, Shelly was right at my side, coaching me and encouraging me, as she continued to do for the rest of the night. And Amy was getting me drinks every 30 seconds or so, as she continued to do for the rest of the night. At some point, I was beginning to feel a lot of pressure. I thought I had to have a bowel movement. So they told me to push, while laying on a chux on the floor. And the water bag broke. Ugh. What a mess! I began feeling pretty achy, my back, etc. And I was unsure what to do. I felt a little like pushing but I was terrified to do it. I was fighting all the feelings and saying things like “I don’t like this!”, “I don’t want to do this!” and I kept secretly hoping that the contractions would go away like the had a few nights before.

Around 10:30 they suggested I try getting in the birth tub. The heat felt great on my aching back and I calmed down a bit. They told me to just go with the feelings and start pushing if I felt like it. But I was pretty confused. I kept saying “I don’t know how, I don’t know what to do…” Meanwhile, I was also making little one word commands such as “drink”, “cloth”, “rub”, etc. David says I was very serious, there was no joking around with me the entire time.

The contractions seemed to slow down a bit and I wasn’t sure how to push in the water, so after a while, they suggested I maybe get out and try another position. But before, Penny suggested that Shelly check me to see how far I was dilated. I was reluctant but Dave talked me into it. I said if it hurt too badly; she’d have to stop. Turns out my pain tolerance was increasing or something. Shelly was surprised when she realized the baby’s head was only about 1 inch from coming out. With this announcement, I was encouraged. Before that, I had no idea at what point in this process I was in. Knowing the head was so close encouraged me. I got out and tried laboring on the toilet. Did not like that. So then I got on the bed about 12:30.

That is when I totally surrendered to the experience and stopped fighting it. I guess I figured that there was no getting out of it at this point, and I wanted the baby out bad enough, I didn’t care what happened to my body anymore in the process. I really began pushing effectively with the contractions. I started to understand what they meant about pushing down into the contractions and making low sounds to help me do it. I remember grunting and screaming “God!” each time, not that I was using the Lord’s name in vain, but it was kind of a one word prayer for help. And at 1:56 a.m. July 31st, our little baby was born into Shelly and David’s hands. They placed it on my stomach, as the cord was only about ½ the length of the average cord, and it couldn’t reach my chest. I watched the baby’s big eyes looking up at me and it was crying. Its body turned pink right away. Those moments were amazing. I could not believe that our baby was finally here. I had been focusing so much on getting thru the labor I had almost forgotten what it was for. I was shocked. The baby was so beautiful. It was amazing that the Creator of the entire world had made this baby just for us to raise. Dave was overwhelmed that after 8 years of it just being me and him that now this little baby was going to rely on us for everything. Shelly suggested we find out the sex. They gently lifted the baby up so David could see and he announced “It’s a boy! Levi Reuben”. We were overjoyed. Not that we did not want a girl, but both of us secretly had been wishing for a boy. I just always feel like I can relate to boys better. And we’d had his precious little name picked out since we were 17 years old kissing in the car in Dave’s parents’ driveway dreaming of getting married and having a family together.

When the cord finished pulsing, David cut it and they lifted the baby up to my chest. I kissed his head and told him “Momma loves you” over and over and over. The placenta came out just a couple minutes later.

At 2:26, 30 minutes old, Levi ate for the first time. A while later, they gave him a Vitamin K shot, weighed and measured him. We had all guessed he was 7 lbs something. We were surprised when the scale said 9 lbs 3 oz. He was 20 inches long. His head was 13.5 inches in circumference. Penny remarked later that Levi didn't completely rotate for when his shoulders came out, but it was ok, because I could have birthed an even bigger baby. So amazing! Perhaps if our next one is bigger, that is good news.

The midwives stayed until they knew we were both stable. They washed all the dirty laundry and cleaned everything up. And David fixed us all bacon egg and cheese sandwiches. They left around 4:30 a.m. David remarked later that it was amazing. There was no sign that a birth had occurred, other than the baby was here. The only thing left from all the mess was a big trash bag in the laundry room.

I also remember telling David soon after the birth, “Ok. We can have more than 1 child.” Because I’d always told him I had to go thru childbirth at least once before I’d know if I’d ever repeat it. And even though it was challenging, I would not shy away from doing it again. I am not a person who likes pain at all, but I birthed a 9 lb baby at home, with no drugs or interventions. I feel like if I can do it, anyone can. We met with a lot of opposition over the course of the pregnancy. People wondered why on earth we’d want to have a midwife and home birth. They said it was dangerous or that I was brave because I was going to be in a ton of pain. That I should go to the hospital so I could get an epidural, etc. I had to work really hard to protect my mind and my thoughts and not let their comments affect me. In the end, it was amazing. Throughout the entire labor, not once did I have a fearful thought that the baby was in danger or that I was in danger or that we should just go to the hospital or that the pain was too much for me to bear. Once the midwives were here and Dave wasn’t in the other room cleaning up, I felt very encouraged just by having people with me, waiting on me, etc.

I also recall feeling totally safe and comfortable at home and wondering how on earth I could have loaded up in the car and gone to the hospital in such a state. I had complete faith in God that He would keep us both safe and if not, that it was His will that something else would happen. I had faith that the women attending the birth knew what they were doing as well. It was an amazing experience and it was so right for us. I would recommend it to anyone. Since I was their only patient, the midwives were all able to focus totally on my needs and helping me get through this. And should anything crazy have happened they would have noticed right away. I think in the hospital, this is not always the case.

I am so thankful to God that He gave us a son and that He gave us such a good birth experience as well. To Him be all the glory!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

last night i started having contractions pretty steadily around 10:15...dave was trying to go to sleep and i was getting scared, giddy, excited all at the same time and kept waking him up. and i thought it was hilarious that the baby would probably be born this morning, on its due date...haha...and then at 11:15 they went away. i don't know if it's cuz i was just laying down and not doing much to keep them going or if they just didn't want to stick around :( anyways, i woke up this morning feeling a little contraction-y still. but not too much is going on. we have our 40 week midwife appt. at 4 today so dave will be coming home from work early for that. i'm really hoping i'll just go into labor and the midwife will come here instead. ha.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

...from the due date. yesterday i had a fleeting thought that maybe the baby is waiting to make its arrival right on the exact due date because it is going to be a perfect, precise little thing like its father. :) i hope i'm right. because the thought of like 2 more weeks of living on pins and needles waiting for it to arrive is kind of overwhelming. ...and if the child is a precise, perfectionist, its life might be easier in some ways. for example, yesterday i decided to spray paint some picture frames black and white. the 2 i did look horrible. dave came home and did 1. and it looks like a factory paint job...only like 9 more frames to go. and if the baby hurries up and arrives then maybe dave will finish them while he's off work :)

i am absolutely exhausted today. i have already taken 2 naps and all i've accomplished is reading a little in a book, eating lunch and doing half a load of laundry (i.e. it still needs to go in the dryer...) and since i woke up from my second nap i feel like vomiting up my lunch. ugh.

i'm looking forward to meeting this little baby. and i'm trying really hard to not complain. i have done a pretty good job throughout the pregnancy but it is getting hard now. i need to remain grateful and stop whining.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

...that i've been predicting the baby will be born (and both our moms too). of course, i'm not really seeing a ton of signs pointing towards that actually happening, but we still have 11 hours till midnight, so maybe...?

i have been feeling a lot more tired the past few days yet i've had trouble sleeping at night (mainly i lay there kind of panicking because i'm so tired and i'm afraid my water will break and i won't get to sleep and i'll have to face labor in a state of total exhaustion).

last night i mowed the yard hoping to put myself into labor. haha! and then there's also the fact that this evening is the full moon which many women say is a popular time to go into labor. so...here's hoping.

i am not necessarily looking forward to labor. i've heard about a billion horror stories from people to make me pretty apprehensive, but i'm trying to remain calm. there's only 1 way that we will get to meet our baby, after all. allowing it to be born...and the other night dave & i were discussing it and likened it to vomiting. you never really want to throw up, but your body just sort of takes care of it when it needs to and you have no choice but to go along with it. it might be horrible to go thru and sometimes you spend hours rolling on the floor in misery before it happens, but once it does, you feel much better. i like to think that labor will be similar and i'll be able to deal with it in a somewhat graceful way.

at church today i was bombarded by people asking how i'm doing and when the due date is, etc, etc. the best was the "you're still here?" and the "i heard you're having a midwife" followed by a look of horror and "why would you want to do that?" hhhhh....nice...but the best was "i thought you weren't due till september!"

so anyways, i think i'll go take a nap. dave already is and if today does end up being the day, then i'll be glad i did. :)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

above you can see the refinished white dresser with the changing mat and diaper supplies on top

in this pic you can see the rocker, the bookshelf and the crib (which david was finally able to find time to set up yesterday. woohoo!!) i think the bedding looks very adorable. dave says our baby is already spoiled beyond belief...i think he's right.

in this corner we have the pack n play. once we move the birth tub out of the front room, we will probably put the pack n play in there, next to our bedroom door. the baby may sleep in there at night, or they may sleep in the crib. i really haven't decided. and there you can also see the carseat which will be in our car soon. so once that stuff is moved out, i may push the crib over in front of the window. although that may be an issue when the baby is old enough to grab the curtains. oh well, then we could figure something else out. :) i love moving furniture.

i still have several pieces of artwork to put on the walls. but that's kind of the story in every room of the house. no exception in the nursery. we just hate to make holes in the walls after all the work we've done to make them smooth and blemish free. :(

we set up the birth tub friday night. we're having some issues though with our water. it is very murky and muddy looking. all the sediment has now settled to the bottom of the birth tub but it looked disgusting at first. there was no way i would have given birth in it! so, we have to figure out a way to suck out the sediment now and hopefully figure out a way to get our well fixed that's somewhat affordable :)

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

i just took this pic today, at 37 weeks and 6 days. so flattering, huh?

it is hard for me to believe that the due date is only a couple weeks away. it is very surreal. i asked dave sunday afternoon if he knew what was about to happen to our lives. he said an a-bomb is about to hit us. nice. that's kind of a good way to put into words how i'm feeling. :) i think that we've been so focused on remodeling and getting as much done as possible that we haven't been mentally preparing ourselves to become parents very much. of course i'm not sure that we can actually do that anyways, so i suppose it's good we're just keeping busy and not stressing out.

for 5 hours saturday afternoon, we had a childbirth/breastfeeding/newborn care education session at our hosue with one of the midwives. that was pretty informative. a lot of the stuff we'd heard before but it was great to have that refresher session and that time set aside just to focus on this blessed impending event...

last night we had our 38 week checkup with the midwife. my blood pressure was lower than it has been for months, so that was a blessing. i was praying that it wouldn't be high again. the midwife commented on how cheerful and joyful i am, more than when she first met me. i think that i'm just really excited that we're actually starting our family now and i'm feeling at peace with what i'm going to have to do to have a home birth, etc...we heard the baby's heartbeat again. the midwife said the baby is in LOA (left occiput anterior) position which the other midwife said Saturday is one of the most ideal positions for birth (basically it's head is down...way, way down according to the midwife, she was pretty surprised again...and the rear end is on my left side and the feet are on my right side). they also said i have lots of amniotic fluid and that the baby is "good-sized". i'm trying not to dwell on that "good-sized" thing. ugh. or i might just stop eating for the rest of the pregnancy, which probably wouldn't be good.

last week i had a couple things happen that indicate impending labor. and there was a spell of contractions happening about every 3 minutes thurdsay night that fizzled out after about 15-20 minutes. so we're getting pretty excited. now if only dave could find time to finish the baby's room. and oh yeah, set up the birth tub! or we won't have a water birth...

i have been pretty emotional lately. crying at the drop of a hat. ugh. sometimes i even laugh at myself while i'm crying. it's craziness. just uncontrollable. we have taken walks the past 2 nights. i regret that i haven't been more active this whole time but at least i'm doing something here at the end.

i'm feeling very huge these days. i never realized how challenging or near impossible it would be to do certain things with a stomach this size. trimming my toe nails and especially painting them myself is out of the question. that's now dave's job (as if he doesn't have enough to do, right?), putting on pants is a huge challenge and picking anything up off the floor is hard too. i'm looking forward to meeting the baby and being able to do this mundane stuff again for myself with ease.

our friend nick guesses the baby will be born july 19th since that's his bday. and our mom's guess the night of the full moon (the 25th/26th). so do any of you have any guesses?

Monday, June 28, 2010

this pic was taken saturday after our midwife home visit (at 35 weeks and 3 days). i was talking to emily on the phone but didn't want to miss having dave take my pic while i looked nice and he was here and i actually remembered to do it. i've been forgetting all sorts of things the past few weeks. it's driving us crazy.

it's amazing how big this baby is getting, isn't it? i think i'm really, really looking pregnant now. i still just feel fat when i look in the mirror though but this pic helped me to see that it's mostly baby. i have been feeling more and more uncomfortable i guess because of my size. ugh. it's just awkward to have all this belly. and when i roll over in bed or something, the baby feels like it kind of wants to do its own thing and not roll over but then it does, kind of like a delayed reaction. it's weird. and i've been having practice contractions off and on the past few weeks. mainly when i'm doing a bunch of stuff that i probably shouldn't be doing. haha!

last week at the 34 week midwife appt she noted that the baby was still breech (as it was at 32 weeks). and she said that 80% of babies have turned by week 32, it's a developmental milestone. so...she referred me to a chiropractor to do the webster technique and they both gave me a bunch of random things to do to encourage the baby to turn. the craziest of these was when i had to lay upside down on a door propped up on one end of our couch and dave had to burn these little cigar things next to my pinky toes for 20 minutes. of course the pyromaniac in him loved that!

as of monday the baby was transverse. then wednesday it was back to breech. but anyways, something must have worked because saturday the midwives checked the baby and said that it is now vertex (head down). woohoo! so we are praying that it stays that way till it's born. then it can move around in the real world as much as it wants :) since the baby took its time to turn, the midwife has been saying that she thinks that it won't come until mid august because it might just not be as ready developmentally to come. but then when they were checking it, they realized that its head is very far down for this stage of the game. so that tidbit of info had them second guessing when they think it will come. i of course have always felt that it would come early, so i'm sticking to that. i feel like it was just procrastinating turning but now that it has, it's ready to come meet us. :) of course i'll probably be pretty frustrated now if it is like august 10th when we finally have it. so i try to just take this all 1 day at a time and not think about it.

another thing that i realized last week, and i was talking to dave about is that since i don't know the baby's sex, i really don't feel like i've connected that well with it at this point. i don't know if it's a defense mechanism or what, but i just feel kind of like i don't want to bond too much yet because i'm still waiting to be sure that everything goes alright with the birth, etc. it's like i don't want to count my chickens before they're hatched. i won't let myself get too attached but i feel like when the baby is born and i see it with my own 2 eyes, i will truly bond with it and then i'll feel like i can let my emotional guard down. is this messed up?

also, i feel really good about the homebirth choice after the visit saturday. we gave them a tour so they know where everything is, they brought the birth tub (which we are not setting up till next weekend), and they checked to make sure that i had all my supplies in order (fun things like chux, depends, hydrogen peroxide, baggies to store the placenta for them to take for research or something, a cookie sheet in case the baby isn't breathing they can resuscitate it on that, etc, etc.) i was also able to meet 3 other ladies who may be attending the birth with the midwife (depending on who is on call i guess at the time). 1 is a nurse and 2 are also midwives. our midwife said that the other 2 midwives have probably attended more births than her, especially the one who is from the UK and worked in a hospital there. i was very glad to meet them since i had only met 2 other assistants in the practice, 1 of which is moving and the other who is expecting her baby 5 days before me. so, i feel better knowing the people who might be here for the birth. the nurse who was here will only be here thru july so she will only attend the birth if it happens in july. she reminded me a lot of the riggles that we grew up with so i felt instantly close to her. i hope that it works out for her to be here.

we feel like God is really preparing us and helping us grow up these last few days before our baby is born. we've both been a lot quicker to forgive each other, to compromise, etc. we're moving from our extreme opposite tendencies and merging more into the same person. for example, i'm becoming more anal retentive and dave is becoming less anal retentive. it's nice. i've been an emotional basketcase the last few days though so that's been a challenge for us both.

Monday, June 14, 2010

i blogged a little on our main blog about the pregnancy right now. things have been crazy lately trying to wrap up remodeling. took a belly pic about 2 weeks ago at 31 weeks and 2 days. i know...outdated now...

right now i'm 33 weeks and 5 days. feeling pretty good. just huge. sometimes i can't wait till we meet the baby. sometimes i'm scared and think it can wait as long as it wants...

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

we are in the 3rd trimester now. can you believe that? i've gained more weight so far than i wanted to the entire pregnancy so i'm a little bummed about that. but i am still getting around really well, feel great, etc.

we had our 28 week dr. appt. last night. everything went really well. my blood pressure was back down to normal (it was on the high side of normal on april 1st, the day i was frantically preparing for vacation and rushing around, and there was some concern that if it continued to be high then i'd have to transfer to an ob/gyn...and/or take meds). i also passed the diabetes test, so i don't have gestational diabetes (even after eating a bunch of sweet stuff this weekend! woohoo!) we will also have to wait and see on the results from the blood test about the hemoglobin. last time (a couple months ago) it was really, abnormally high and she attributed that to dehydration. hopefully it will be lower this time. i've really been trying to drink a lot of water (although this weekend kind of threw me off because we were travelling, etc.)
we also got to hear the heartbeat again. last few times it's been around 138 i believe, and this time it was around 130...and it was much louder and clearer. penny (the midwife) said that it sounded really good for this stage of the game. we could hear all the valves working and then we heard the baby move...that was neat. dave also got to feel it move last night when he put his hand on my belly. i think that the baby is sort of a night owl...it seems to always move more in the evenings and when we are getting ready for bed.

we had our first baby shower this past weekend in ohio. my mom and my sister threw this amazing shower. they rented out a room in a restaurant. the food was amazing. the decorations were amazing. the theme was "feather her nest" and there were little glass bird favors and little bird nests at each place with 3 handpainted (by emily) eggs inside...she painted each one a certain color then flecked dots on it with paint on a toothbrush. i think she said she painted 90 eggs. she is an amazing woman! so patient and loving!! also keeping with her amazing attention to detail, emily bought me a handmade necklace that is a birds nest with 3 pearl eggs inside it. it is so sweet and i will treasure it forever!

it was such a warm loving shower. everyone blessed us with amazing gifts for the baby, and a few things for me and david even too! and it was so much fun to see everyone that i hadn't seen for ages. my only regret is that i didn't get to talk to each one of them more.

our bedroom is coming along. we are almost ready to sand and prime the walls some more. then we can paint and get the new carpet and move back in :) at that point, we can clean out the nursery and start setting up the baby's things in there. the crib. the glider. the bookshelf. the dresser/changer (that does not exist yet). and all the beautiful blankets and toys and clothes. yay!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

my friends' little boy and i just went for a walk in our baby's new stroller/carseat combo that our other friends gave us. :) we walked 2.5 miles. woohoo! i think that he liked getting outside in the fresh air...and he gave me the biggest smile when i said, "can you say 'dadadadada'?" then he made an "mmmm" sound as if to try to say "mom". how sweet!

had a very rough night last night. woke up 4 times. went to the bathroom 2 of those times. rolled over in pain the other 2. nice...and i had been sleeping so well the past couple months! i hope that this does not continue. once around 5 i woke up with this terrible joint/nerve pain in my mid to lower back. i woke dave up to rub it. every time i took a breath and my lungs expanded i had a sharp pain. made me not want to breathe! so i said a prayer to the ultimate healer and fortunately, when i got up and walked around and went to the bathroom, the pain miraculously went away.

Monday, April 19, 2010

more than once i've received the advice to walk while pregnant. i was determined before getting pregnant that the day i found out, i'd start walking on a daily basis. unfortunately, i've spent several months in total slothful laziness. but as the weather has turned and spring has sprung, i've really turned over a new leaf.

david is somewhat onboard with this new healthy habit. in fact, for him, he's started a new exercise program to combat his inflexibility. he does exercises every night before bed now, and in just a weeks time he's gone from being 1 foot away from touching his toes, to being able to touch them. and he said that's the first time he has touched his toes in his entire life!

we've also started eating more healthy foods. tonight i made chicken chili out of a weight loss cookbook. it was very yummy!

but, anyways, back to my walking...last week i walked about 4 nights. i walked anywhere from 0.5 mile to 2 miles each night. and tonight i walked 2.5 miles. my mom says that by walking she was able to have very, very short labors that were relatively not painful. so...i'm all for that. with every step i took tonight, i promised myself that it would only help me in july (...or...whenever God says it's time to meet the baby). i feel so good when i walk.

i'm babysitting a friend's little 7 month old boy tomorrow. since i already have a stroller (!!) i think that i will take him for a walk in it. i'm sure he will enjoy the beautiful weather too.

Friday, April 16, 2010

so, apparently, we are going to have a baby in about 3 to 3 1/2 months give or take....the reality of this statement scares me a bit. i'm not sure that it will really be real to me until i see the baby for the first time. i feel it move sometimes and we've heard the heartbeat but it still just doesn't seem real i guess.

here's a pic of me holding the 3 sea shells i got at the ocean on easter morning...one for david, one for me and a little one for the baby :)

the pic below was taken at 16 weeks and 1 day...

at that point still wearing my regular clothes, but the pants were a bit tight.

the pic below was taken at 19 week and 3 days,

still in my regular jeans...feeling frumpy.

this was taken at 22 weeks and 1 day...

had just started wearing maternity clothes...

here i am right before we left for vacation...very tired that morning and sneezing a bunch...

23 weeks and 2 days.

this isn't really a maternity shirt. but you can sort of see the belly.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

As of yesterday, I'm 22 weeks pregnant. I have taken a few more pictures, but can't upload them to my computer right now. The memory is full. Will switch over all files next week onto a new computer, and then I will post the pics.

I started wearing maternity clothes last week. I can still fit in 1 pair of jeans, and fasten them, but they were really big on me to begin with...and they're pretty tight now. These maternity pants are the best! Dave was studying them yesterday as I pulled them up...he was like "They're sweat pants on the top and jeans on the bottom! Why don't you just wear those around the house?" (because he hates when I wear sweats) I said, "I never had them before! But look! I'm wearing them now..."

I've gained just over 20 lbs. I wish that I hadn't gained so much already, as I'm scared of what is yet to come. And I really, really hope that I'm able to lose all this plus more before having my next baby (IF there is another baby). I just feel so huge right now and my belly is barely sticking out yet.

Like I mentioned on my main blog, I have an uncontrollable urge to clean and organize everything in our house now. At first this kind of scared me, because I thought people usually didn't start nesting until right before the baby came. And I really don't want the baby to come yet. But I read one article online that said some women start nesting as early as 5 months. In my case, that is very good, because I have at least 4 months of work to do to get this house ready. I've spent about a week or so on the office. I went through box after box of papers that we've been keeping for no apparent reason. Threw 6 trash bags of stuff away. Eliminated the need for several pieces of junky furniture and can actually use the closet now to store things that I use rather than having a bunch of boxes piled up in there.

My next project is going to be going through about 10 tubs of clothing of mine and getting rid of some of it. None of it fits me. Especially right now. But a lot of it didn't fit me before I became pregnant. And rather than having a bunch of tubs labeled "Katie's tight clothes" in my living room, I feel I should pass them onto someone who can get some use out of them. I read a book that said the average person really only needs 9 or 10 outfits. Anything more than that just complicates your life unnecessarily. Plus, if I lose a bunch of weight in the future, then I can enjoy getting some new clothes.

I am still feeling pretty awesome (which I'm glad about). There have been a few minor things lately that make me feel kind of blah but, seriously, I was prepared for absolute hell thanks to a lot of warnings I'd received from other women over the years, and so far it's been great. I hope that I can still say that after the birth, so that I want to have more children. (I know I probably won't be saying that DURING the birth...but...at least if I can move on afterwards and still have the nerve to go thru this again, that would be great...)

We're going to go on a vacation soon. One last vacation before the baby comes and our lives change forever. Our last real vacation where we went far away was in March 2006. So this is going to be really, really special.

We're planning on going with cloth diapers. We had a rep from www.toastybaby.com come out to our house last Friday night and show us all the options available. And then we set up a registry with them. I'm very excited about this! And David is too. He's probably even more for it than I am...but it is a very mutual decision. He was so glad that he got to sit in on the demonstration. He just kept saying over and over afterward, "Thanks for including me!" It was so sweet.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

my mom & sister and my friend amie are throwing me some baby showers in the next couple months. i am so excited to get together with all my favorite women in the world and celebrate that we're having a baby!! and even though most people hate shower games, i think that if someone has one, i might actually enjoy it.

so i determined that i better get some gift registries prepared. this task is very daunting. i have been planning it out in a way since the day i was married....haha....but now that it's time to actually set it all up, i'm overwhelmed.

a couple months ago i told dave that i didn't really plan to register for that much stuff for the baby and i'd tell people that they could give gifts of $ to our child's college fund if they wanted as an alternative....he really liked that idea of course. because he hates plunder in the house and our house is already full of plunder, etc, etc. but it seems he took this a little to the extreme. because last night i was working on setting up the registries and he said...."why are you doing that? our baby doesn't need anything" i said "well, it at leasts needs a few basics like a crib mattress and some bedding." and he said, "i thought we already got a crib" i said, "yes, we got a crib, but it doesn't have a mattress. it just has bars to support the mattress." he said, "well, the baby doesn't need a mattress. don't you remember falling down as a child? it didn't even hurt. kids are tough. it can sleep on plywood." and i'm thinking...."he CAN'T be serious!" i said, "when was the last time you held a little baby? they seem so fragile"............he said the suggestions that the stores are giving me for what to register for are "Need creation." now, i can see a little bit of that....but seriously. making your baby sleep on plywood???

so, anyways, we have a little bit of work/discussion to do before dave's ready to go with me to the stores to finalize the registries, apparently. i am praying that he will come around.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

i have gained about 14 lbs so far. feeling big yet everyone says i don't even look pregnant. so i asked dave about that. he candidly said that's because my stomach is not the only thing getting bigger - my whole body is. so it just looks like i'm gaining weight (not for a baby). nice...right after he said it he realized that it was the completely WRONG thing to say and tried to take it back...fortunately, i know what he means so i wasn't too upset. but still...not fun to hear it out loud.

i hope to have dave take a picture of "us" sometime soon and post for all you curious people out there. mainly...erica :)

saturday we were looking at the pregnancy book and read that the baby is about the size of our hands now. and they had an illustration of what it probably looks like. dave was shocked because it was the first time he'd looked at the book. he thought the baby still looked like a shrimp or something, like in the very, very early pics (like 6 weeks or something). so he was pretty excited to see that it looks human now. :) i thought he was so funny!

i thought that maybe i felt the baby move on sunday, but i'm not totally sure. i think that will be very exciting when i know for sure... :)

my pregnancy book told me not to sleep on my back or i would cut off the bloodflow to the baby. so i'm sleeping on my sides constantly. except there have been a couple times i've woken up in the night on my back. and i am almost panic-stricken because i don't want to do something to hurt the little thing. ahhh

i'm thankful that i am feeling great. and that on days that i don't feel 100% i often have the freedom to take it easy. david has given me that freedom because he's willing to work harder than ever before and because he's willing to not spend money on anything extra. i love him for all that.

we go to see the midwife again in about 10 days. hopefully we will hear the heartbeat again, etc.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

well, we heard the heartbeat last night. i thought it was pretty cool and started laughing. hey, at least i didn't cry! but i was just kind of relieved to actually have some sort of proof and evidence that the baby is indeed alive in there and really exists. dave had such a sweet look of pride when he heard it. awww...like he was thinking "that's my little baby in there!!" and he called me this morning to tell me that he'd been thinking about the baby all day and telling all his coworkers about the heartbeat. makes me so happy...

he was very pleased with our midwife. last night was the first time that he met her. and he couldn't hardly stop talking about what a good decision i'd made in going with her. i felt even more at peace with the decision too after last night.

we talked a lot about diet, exercise, etc. and nailing down the due date once again. now she's saying july 29th. originally it was july 28th. there's still some question about that. but i feel confident that it's a good guess. she said again that we could do a dating ultrasound right now but we decided not to. she's not really pushing it either way. it just might result in confusion later on if we think i'm only 36 weeks but really 38 or something. but from my charting before getting pregnant, i really think that i've got a pretty good guess.

we also discussed where in our house we might put the birthing tub and a little bit about how this will all go. the tub is 6 ft in diameter. so we are thinking it will either go in the great room (biggest room in the house). or *gasp* outside. how cool would that be? especially if it were night time. i don't think it would be that comfortable in the hot summer humidity. but she said that we can control the temp of the water, so we could make it cool like a swimming pool or something.

we got some videos to watch on water birth and a book to read for our mindsets going into labor. should be interesting.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

well, i'm 15 weeks pregnant today. yay! several people at church told me that i don't even look pregnant (oh how i love them!). but i know i've gained about 8 lbs. (i first lost about 5, then gained 13, but overall have gained 8) and all my pants are getting tight.

the past few nights have been really rough. i wake up all the time with different parts of my body aching and i get up to go to the bathroom at least once every night (i don't think there's been a night since november that i haven't gotten up...) but anyways, i guess God is just training me for waking up to take care of the baby soon. and that is quite alright.

and then i woke up this morning in tears because i know that our lives are going to change so much this year. don't get me wrong. i have always wanted to be a momma. and i'm SUPER EXCITED that i'm going to be one. but, for some reason, i got all weepy and sentimental this morning. this chapter of our lives is going to come to an end. the chapter that i was prepared to be only a year long (should our birth control not work or something) when we got married, that has turned into an almost 8 year journey. the chapter of it just being me and dave with no children...it is soon to be over. and even though there have been times that i wanted nothing more than for this chapter to be over, now that it is closing, i'm sad. and i'm afraid that i'm too selfish, too set in my ways, too used to being spontaneous or independent or ...too fill-in-the-blank to be a good mom. these emotions are so weird and surprising to me.

and i want to go on one last vacation with david before we have our baby. we're talking about when we can do that. not sure if it will work out, etc. not only with time off work but financially. and even though i'm turbo saver, i want to go on this trip no matter what.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

ok. can i blame my inadequacy on the pregnancy? i'm forgetting everything. in the past week, i forgot to go to orchestra practice until hours later, i forgot sam's piano lesson (until he walked up to my front door), and...at the moment, i forget what else i forgot....but i know there were at least 3 things. oh yeah! i forgot to make dessert for sunday until sunday at church when someone reminded me (normally i would have done this on saturday)...and i forgot that i was supposed to babysit blake last tuesday (like i have for about the past 8 weeks in a row) until tamara texted me on her way saying she was almost here....i was not showered and the house was a wreck but luckily a 21 month old doesn't care. :) anyways, it has been interesting. i see i'm going to have to check my planner several times a day from now on so i don't forget things so often....

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

i'm having a day where i am just feeling yucky. i'll feel pretty good then i get hungry and no matter what i choose to eat, i regret it a few minutes later. like i just drank some orange juice. and now i feel like throwing up. i thought that most of this "all-day sickness" was behind me by now...but maybe not! so i was planning to make taco salad for supper. and now i'm just not feeling that so much...what do i do???

anyways, today marks week 13. yay! only 27 more weeks until our baby is with us. well, i say that as if it will be born RIGHT on it's due date. yeah right. only God knows. anyways, i can tell that david is getting more and more excited about it. i'm just not sure. it's like i'm still trying not to get too excited in case there's something wrong. is that weird?

a friend from church scolded me the other night for moving 2 chairs from one room to another for FPU. she said that i should make someone else do it for me since i'm pregnant. it kind of upset me. the chairs weren't even heavy! and i have done a lot more than that since i've been pregnant (like helping move the washer once, carrying half of a sheet of plywood, carrying heavy groceries, etc.). so now i'm being kinda paranoid and worrying that i'm doing too much. i figured that if i was doing too much, though, i would feel like i was in pain...hhh...am i being a terrible mother already???

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Ok. Here are 2 pics I've been promising. I won't procrastinate any longer... The one where I was wearing the orange shirt was taken at 6 1/2 weeks (Dec 6th)...I wish I was skinnier before getting pregnant, but oh well, what can I do now? And the one with the blue shirt (where my hair looks bad cuz I haven't showered and it's not as flattering of an angle since I took it myself...) was taken today, at 12 weeks. I don't think that you can see that big of a change in my belly. Maybe the shorts are slightly tighter. And I think my chest looks bigger. Because, well, it is. And now that I look at these pics side by side, maybe my face is fatter too. :(

i read that too that if your nose changes while pregnant that is a sign you're having a boy. but dave noticed it changing before i even told him about that, so maybe it's not all wishful thinking. it's not that we wouldn't want to have a girl. i've just always thought our first baby would be a boy. i will try to get dave to take a pic of me tonight when he gets home from work...or maybe i'll figure out a way to take one of myself. haha!

and, no, we will probably not get an ultrasound at all (unless i go to like 42 weeks to make sure baby is ok). dave really never wanted to find out the sex of our children until they were born. i kinda did, but since i don't have maternity insurance, we'd have to pay cash for the ultrasound so we are just going to wait since the midwife said it's not necessary.

and i think the guessing the sex is kind of fun. i personally think that the baby is a boy. dave does too. so does his dad. and cassandra, who i babysit for. and i think emily does. right, emily? but based on how many nieces we have and how few nephews we have in dave's family, and some other reasons that i won't explain since they'd be TMI about the conception, odds are we will have a girl. ...in fact, i would feel bad if when we have it, it's a girl, and i've been thinking of her as a boy this whole time. but it's hard not to...my reasoning for thinking it is a boy is based on that time that God showed me our boy name in the Bible in the middle of the night and on what i'm craving (not liking sweets like normal but a bunch of salty and greasy stuff, etc.) and on my nose changing....so i don't know if those are good reasons or not. i guess only God knows and for now, I'll just be content with that.

but if anyone wants to comment and let me know what they think it is....that might be kind of fun. we'll see how many votes we get for boy and how many for girl...and then in july, we'll find out who won!

and yeah, erica, thanks for the warning about the last trimester. :) sounds like fun!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

since erica asked and maybe others are wondering, we will probably hear the heartbeat at the next visit, which was scheduled for feb 1st. however, we now have to reschedule that since dave found out he has a meeting at the same time at church. so...it will either be the monday before or the monday after feb 1st, most likely, when we hear the heartbeat. i'm getting very, very excited about it. i think that it will help to make this whole thing more real to both of us.

tomorrow i will be 12 weeks pregnant and in the 2nd trimester. it is really hard to believe we're reaching that milestone already. wow. if the 2nd and 3rd trimesters go as quickly (which i'm sure they will) then it will really not be that long until our little baby is with us. in some ways that really scares me, and in other ways i'm really excited to meet him/her. after wanting to have a baby for so long and almost giving up hope at various times, it's unreal to me how quickly this time of being pregnant is going.

i will probably post a picture soon of my belly (not bare) just so we can compare it later. i've only gained about 4 lbs (as of the last time i weighed myself) but all my weight is re-distributing to my waist so i have a nice muffin top. and there's some added weight in my chest, too. i can still wear most of my clothes, which is nice. but i suppose it's only a matter of time until i can't do that. dave & i don't think that my face is getting that fat yet, which is nice. but he said that my nose looks different. what's up with that?

Thursday, January 7, 2010

after getting back the results from the blood test, the midwife suspects that i may have been dehydrated at the time and that i need to drink a lot more than i have been. so today i've been drinking nonstop since i got the message from her. i am praying that there is nothing wrong with the baby because of this.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

met with the midwife for the first time last night. i really wanted to meet with her about a month ago but i was waiting for a time when dave could go along since he wanted to be there. then, it turned out that he had to work late and attend his first deacon's mtg. so he didn't get to go after all. i was super emotional about this and cried all the way to the appt. and called and harrassed david for being unsupportive, which was not nice, considering he already felt really bad about the whole situation. that was lovely. i finally got it together right when i arrived.

anyways, everything went really well and i feel confident now that this is the route that i want to go. i was a little apprehensive going into yesterday because i felt like maybe i should just forget this midwife idea and go to my regular doctor. i already knew this going into last night, but going this route, i'm able to save a lot of money. one way i found out last night is that they can forego a bunch of tests that would most likely be mandatory at the doctor and are optional based on my opinion here. tests for all kinds of STDs, etc. that amounts to over $1000 savings. since i know we don't have these STDs (praise God!) then we don't have to get the tests.

all this money savings is very important because i don't have maternity benefits. however, i don't want anyone to misconstue this and think that i'm not giving my unborn child "good" care based solely on saving money. i would probably have gone to the midwife whether i had insurance or not. i just feel that it's a good choice for us based on various reasons which i will not go into since it would take a lot of time and many people probably wouldn't agree with me.... the money savings is just an added benefit.

i've also been worrying about some "pains" (i'm not sure if this can really be classified as pain...maybe discomforts would be a better word) that i've had and some other strange symptoms i had last weekend while in ohio, but was assured that it's probably all normal.

we could not hear the heartbeat last night, but she said she's only ever heard it in 2 women at this stage of their pregnancies, so i should not worry. probably when we go back in february we will be able to hear it. dave's planning to go then, so that will be good, we will both get to hear it together.

i also had a blood and urine test last night and she said that i have to have my urine checked every time that i go to be sure i don't have a bladder infection without symptoms, since i had some infections as a child and may be predisposed for that...since that can cause preterm labor.

she also confirmed what i already thought...that the due date is july 28th. she said i could get an ultrasound from a radiologist that she recommends in carmel to know the date more exactly but that if i'm ok with going with my own suspicions about the date of conception then she is too and i don't have to have the ultrasound. there's only one other time in the pregnancy that she might recommend an ultrasound...if i go all the way to 42 weeks to make sure the baby is not in distress and decide if we will continue to wait or if i would have to be induced. so....hopefully we will not get to that point.

in conversation i also found out that the midwife and her husband and children used to go to our church. they went to costa rica once and were/are friends with a lot of people that we know from church. i thought that was a really neat connection. they now go to church in lebanon with a couple people i used to work with at GRW. :)