A brief-yet-ongoing journal of all things Carmi. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll reach for your mouse to click back to Google. But you'll be intrigued. And you'll feel compelled to return following your next bowl of oatmeal. With brown sugar. And milk.

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Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Statuesque

Blink and she's goneDelray Beach, December 2008 [Click to embiggen]

While we were away, I rediscovered my need to grab alone time wherever and whenever possible. I've always appreciated the soul-restoring effects of getting away for a bit, mind you, but had fallen out of practice in recent months as supposedly more serious priorities ate into my unstructured time. My loss, as it turned out.

On this warm, bright morning, I slung my camera over my shoulder and set off for a short walk through the neighborhood. I had spotted a deteriorating, formerly grand old house on a road nearby, and with thoughts of Great Expectations and Miss Havisham dancing through my head, ambled across the street.

Along the way, I passed a set of water fountains and remembered my earlier adventures with dancing liquids (see here, here and here for other entries.) Since water had always been good to me, I figured it would be worth a slight change in plans.

I sat on the edge of the pool and paused for a bit. As I set up for the shot, I wondered about the ephemeral nature of water, about how the scenes I was about to capture in the following milliseconds would likely never repeat again.

All the more reason to take the time. You never know what you'll see along the way. And what you'll miss if you stay in.

A friend taught me a long, long time ago how important it is to enjoy your own company. This didn't come naturally to me, by nature, I'm drawn to people--I like the energy and dynamic of relationship. This was a learning process to me, to BE alone by not feel lonely.

It was wise counsel. Since that time (over 20 years ago), I've learned that down time is essential. I'm smiling as I type this, but my three children returned to school Monday after the Christmas break; for the first time in weeks I exhaled.

The solitude was short lived in that I had much to do, but those quiet moments? Satisfying and then some.

Back when I didn't understand what I was doing to the environment, and gas only cost $1/gallon, I would get in my car, crank up the stereo, and drive. *cough* Sometimes too fast. The music drowned out my thoughts, the speed/movement gave me the sense that I was getting away, even though I generally drove a loop around the city and ended up right back where I started.

Carmi....I love your captured water in the moment photos. I have the same feeling when I see a picture of a sunrise or sunset because it truly represents the very concept of being aware of their unique beauty.

How do I carve out alone time? I'm up before the birds! This is my ultimate alone time....an hour or so before my family wakens.

Today, I'm on the road visiting people in their homes. Its an intense kind of day...full of stories and need. Lots of need. Its the part of my work I love the most because it is hands on help. I know I can make a difference in a small way. However, it is very draining... the times in between the visits, when I'm in my car travelling alone (often on the back roads of this beautiful province) is not only restorative, it is sometimes my most creative. the music is on, the road is mine....and the thoughts flow to form future pieces of writing.

Since I work from home at my own pace...alone time is not a problem for me. Especially now that all but one of my kids is all but out of the house and my youngest being a sophomore in high school is not very demanding of attention. The trick for me is not to allow myself to get to isolated.

When my kids were little and I was desperate for a few minutes alone, I would sneak into another room with a bowl of ice cream and a book. Now that they're older, I have quite a bit of time alone, but I find that using at least some of it to recharge is something I need to remember more often.