beachy vibes and “the power of now”

Today I am eating breakfast on the shores of Tulum, smooth Spanish jazzy voices comes from my speaker, the coffee slowly wakes my bones, and the smell of the ocean intoxicates me.

I start to think about all the times in Tennessee when I would put on this music in the morning, make myself some coffee, and fantasize about being in a place like this doing this exact thing.

Then the thought of Tennessee and those beautiful fall trees come to mind.

Then I start to reminisce about all the memories from that chapter in my life: the gorgeous mountains, our cozy apartment, the lovely people.

Then I start to miss Tennessee. On the beaches of Tulum.

WHAT.

Okay okay okay. I catch myself and bring my sight back to where I actually am: looking at the Caribbean Sea!

We finish breakfast and head to a day bed to just chillax (my favorite.) I lay with my book in hand, ocean for miles and take and take a deep breath. This is exactly right.

Then Matt says to me: Do you want to get in the water? We should walk up and down the beach. Do you want to eat? Let’s plan tomorrow; we can do x, y, z. We should get up at (some dreadful hour) and head into town. That’ll set us up so we can do a, b, c on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Then once we get home, we can focus on getting all the other little tasks we need to do to get to the next place we need to go.

GAH.

I recently read (listened to) “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. Points that hit many many nails for me:

Most of us live in the past or in the future with little moments spent in the now. It should be the opposite: spend the most time living in the now, with little moments in the past and in the future.

We use time as a means to an end. I did this at work a lot. Only 4 more hours til it’s 2 more hours til I’m out of here. This is a black hole and the mentality will bleed into other aspects of life. Drop it; breathe and cherish every moment (or find something to cherish, even if it’s as small as the color of your pen .)

Any complaining of events (out of your control) is a resistance to the entire workings of the universe. Why resist so much? Why not use that energy to embrace instead?

The mind and you are separate entities. The mind is a tool to be used, it shouldn’t use you. Don’t let it.

You must die to who you were each moment. This ones kind of heavy, but it’s useful in the right situations.

All we have is now. The present is like a flashlight beam in the fog: future and past lies all around us, foggy and out of our control. The light beam is clarity, it is the now, it is all we have.

The ego plays a much bigger role in day to day operations than I realized. Insecurities? That’s my ego. Fears and dreads? Also likely related to the ego. Ready to dive into this read? You’ve got a treat ahead of you.

When I really ponder if it would be useful for me to live in the now (because it seems so much more efficient to be future oriented like Matt, or just lovely and nostalgic to reminisce on the past) I realize that being present is the only way to take my circumstances and exalt them. This big beautiful messy set of cards I’ve been dealt...how may I cherish you more? In a handful of decades, I will look back on my years (but only for a moment) and will be at peace with how much time I spent savoring every minute.