[Archive] Friday Challenges - Snail Bob 5: Love Story

Seeing as we have Friday Challenges now, I thought there should be an archive for them all. So, if you missed any challenge because of whatever reason, there is a way to check what it was.
Here's the spreadsheet.1. Mystery Monster Box: November 4, 2011

God, this is a fucking painful game to play. I tried again for the weekly item and remembered just why it was the worst game on here I have played this year. It is a fucking shameful and unplayable mess and I have no idea why anyone would continue to support such an awful game.

Or maybe to express annoyance at the fact that a barely playable shambles of a game got badges. But of course I could not possibly have a different opinion to you, I must just be lying in order to troll. What a fucking joke.

You realise that saying “You must suck at the game if you don’t enjoy it and find the gameplay lacking” is a terrible way to support your view. If you don’t want to discuss this properly, you don’t need to post. No need to jump at anyone who disagrees with you.

So, the actual combat rarely runs smooth due to the way that it is coded so that each segment of the body is its own object (Which is also why the game looks ugly as sin), once you factor in bullets and such, the game can lag at even lowest setting if I have other tabs open in my browser. But that’s fine, I am more than willing to make such a sacrifice if a game is fun (Hey, I do it with Megaman all the time). Occasional input lag exists too, but it is never really a problem. So the game chugs like a bitch if it has not monopolized my computer, whatever, there are far worse things than the performance.

The graphics of this game are frankly atrocious. Each sprite looks like it has been done in MS Paint by a child and the designs are lacking. Basically you have three characters in this game: People, who all look like the same ugly Halo character; Zombies, which look the best of the three, but lack anything to make them anything other than an ugly MS paint picture; and Aliens, which have the head out of an H. R. Geiger design and the body of the human sprite coloured red or orange. So the designs are a rip off and are not even good rip-offs.

The shop is a waste of time: CR takes too long to earn and items don’t make an appreciable difference to the game. Weapons are generally all the same but with minor stat-differences and no one can concievably give a fuck about them because you will only be using the heavy and the explosive weapons any way. The perks are all useless also, with little reason to use them in game (with exception of the reload one, which can give you extra ammo). So really there is no real upgrade system, just a chance for people to fap over poorly drawn images of uzis and what not.

The actual fighting isn’t that great either. Most of the modes are just kill some dudes and that can mostly be achieved by standing in a bottle-neck (which most maps have) and using your strongest weapons. The other modes where a check-point based mode, where enemies would routine spawn on top of the check-point and take it over promptly (Though they were swiftly killed, making it less of a credible threat and more dull busywork while you wait for the points to roll in) and the (admittedly somewhat fun) Capture the Flag, which was all about finding which path to the enemy’s flag was least guarded and then running through. So, all but one mode of the game are not really that fun to play, which is a bit shit when you consider that it is a game and is intended to be fun.

I was going to use this last paragraph to talk about story, but then I realised that shooters never have good stories and flash games never have good stories. So this is going to be the worst of the worst. Instead, I’ll use this last paragraph to talk about the music I listened to on my iPod while playing this game. I was listening to the album “The Gospel According to the Meninblack” by The Stranglers. It was first released in 1981 and features 10 tracks. It is generally experimental and weird, with varying musical styles played with throughout the album. I can honestly say there are no bad songs on the album and that I enjoy every minute I listen to it. It may not be my favourite album or by my fatourite band, but it is certainly up there. My recommendation: Listen to The Stranglers; skip the flash game.

Well… I would like to say that I use all of the weapons types. Each are effective in their own way. Saying the art is ugly is an opinion. Credits don’t take too long to get if you will be playing often. JuiceTin said he didn’t want people to unlock everything too fast. I agree with you on the story, I thought it was lame. But maybe that’s because I didn’t read it all. Anyway I don’t really care, I play the game for the shooter action. The abilities are not useless, they obviously all do something, not just the ammo one. The katana is extremely useful to me. The “bottle-neck” thing you talk about sounds like camping, which I don’t have a problem with, and anyway you’ll run out of ammo unless you are by a weapon spawn point or have the ammo ability. Basically it sounds as if you just don’t like the game, not that it’s poor.

Was my explanation that it was made in paint and the designs were blatantly ripped off of better works not reason enough.

Credits don’t take too long to get if you will be playing often.

Well, there’s a worthless statement. They still take too long, regardless if you play the game for 3 hours in a day, or over a week in 20 minute sessions. It takes too many matches to get enough money to buy anything.

I play the game for the shooter action.

Shame the action wasn’t great. Had it had a good story (Like Killer7 did) maybe I could have looked past that.

Basically it sounds as if you just don’t like the game, not that it’s poor.

I said what I meant, it is poor because I do not enjoy it. What is so hard to grasp about that? I also don’t see you refuting the fact that you should be listening to “Waiting for the Meninblack”. I win.

In fact, it also froze after I completed the second level. I already had an “account”, so I completed the first level before (but not the second). Now I cannot complete the first or second level. In short, I cannot get any of the badges or the challenge. Developer, fix this. Kongregate, remove the badges and challenge.

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