Fast opinions come and go. Here are the slow facts.

Can You be Our President?

We’ve had our fill of Washington politicians. If you doubt me, then watch the number of us shouting at our TVs, radios and newspapers. You might think anyone could do a better job than the people we put in office, but that isn’t true. I’ve studied the situation, and you’re probably not ready to be president. Let’s take the Presidential test and see.

President Obama claimed the evil Republicans caused the government slowdown and put our economy in the toilet. That statement certainly sounded good to the news media. The facts say something else. In fact, the House passed a budget this year and sent almost a dozen spending bills on to the Senate. On the other side of the aisle, the Democrat controlled Senate hasn’t passed a budget in five years. You might not have heard that pesky fact mentioned by the main stream media. A Democrat politician can lie about the government slow down and most of us won’t hear a skeptical question or even a snort from the DC press corps. That’s a sad situation for our democracy and for you personally. Yes, for you! I mean really, can you lie in public like that if you were our President?

You were taught not to lie, cheat or steal, so I don’t think you’re ready for public office just yet.

The Obama administration has to make the government slowdown hurt. You see why, don’t you? If the slowdown is accepted, or worse yet embraced by the American people, then the Republicans will have cut the size of government by 13 to 17 percent. That could be the end of ever larger government, and the administration can’t allow that! Instead, the administration will spend extra money to block remote sections of obscure highway in order to prove that the National Park Service is essential. Federal employees will arrest rogue World War II veterans who are looking at unguarded monuments from their walkers. At the same time, the National Park Service has reopening the Washington mall for an open borders rally. The park service also strategically stationed park rangers along remote bike paths in order to keep the paths closed to the public, but they left the paths open near Democrat Senators’ houses.

This federal slowdown was never put in place to save the people’s money. Instead, it is a chance for our political masters to punish the citizens who question the government. Let me prove it to you. During the slowdown, the Department of Defense refused to pay survivors benefits to the families of military service members who died in the line of duty. At the same time, the US Treasury paid half a billion dollars to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, National Public Radio and the Public Broadcasting Service.

So I ask you, are you ready to be that politically corrupt and partisan?

Sigh. I told you that you’re not ready for DC politics!

We were told Obamacare is now the law of the land and “the rest of the country” should simply accept it. I say “the rest of the country” because most of DC is exempt from Obamacare. The point of view that laws are permanent rules to be obeyed conflicts head on with other “laws of the land” we were told not to accept.. laws like the federal debt limit. We’re told the debt limit should be raised.. to Saturn or higher. Our President, the “constitutional scholar”, had no trouble violating other “laws of the land” like our immigration laws and the Defense of Marriage Act. It’s obvious you and I lack the refined perception that reveals which laws of the land are more equal than others.

Maybe. Perhaps there are only laws our president wants to follow and laws he doesn’t. Laws are such a hindrance once you’re king. Are you ready to violate the law like that, you political want-to-be?

Scoff. I thought not.

Money talks in politics, so let’s cut to the heart of the matter and talk about money and the top elected office in the United States. We currently borrow about 30 percent of our federal budget. If you were in the White House, what would you do if Congress wanted to slow the rate at which debt is accumulating? Will you boldly threaten to stop Social Security payments to old people and threaten Wall Street with default on our debts? Don’t worry. You’ll be out of elected office by the time the dollar crashes anyway, so screw the kids who were too young to vote for you! Better yet, will you threaten to shut down the government unless you get a budget increase?

If you said, “Hehl Yeah!” then you’re finally catching on. Now we’re talking real politics! The patronage and kickbacks must go “FORWARD”.

Some of you are shaking your head. I think I understand what is holding you back. Perhaps you’ve actually run a business or worked in community organizations. I bet YOU managed to avoid bankruptcy. That honest and ethical behavior disqualifies you from being President of the United States, and probably from being a Senator. Maybe, in order to blend in with our betters in Washington, you could go get a law degree and be disbarred before you run for office.

You’ve taken the test, and it looks like you’re not welcome in Washington. That is a shame. Government service was supposed to be for the part-time citizen legislator who wanted to serve his community. Our government was supposed to be simple, accessible and small. It could be so again, if we elected honest people like you to office. People like you are our only hope to trim government back to a more human size.

I like the idea of my fellow citizens running our government. I like it a lot. Start by running for your local school board or city council. I’ll even make a small donation to your campaign. You have my vote, and I ask only one thing.