Table@Home: Can the holidays be peaceful?

I’m Dreaming of a Calm Christmas

By Caroline Barrett/Life@Home

I want to like the holiday season more than I do. I’d like to be the person who carries big shopping bags full of gifts through the shops with a big smile on her face. The one who sits in traffic, singing Christmas tunes. Or the lady who navigates through the crowded grocery store with plenty of time to spare, saying, “No, no, after you” when her cart bumps into another.

I’m not that lady. I never have been. I do carry shopping bags full of presents, but it’s likely I’m cranky and scowling. My feet ache. The mall gives me a headache. It’s too crowded and hot.

And the traffic! My father is the same way and I remember being in his car a long time ago and listening to him grumble something like this: “Everyone and their uncle is trying to find a parking spot at this store!” He might have inserted a few more descriptive words I won’t repeat here. It didn’t matter that it was Dec. 23. There was a ton of traffic, and he was cranky about it. I don’t blame him.

The grocery store might possibly be the worst of all places for people who aren’t in the holiday spirit. I forget my list, which is long, and have to zig-zag through the store avoiding other people who are tired and cranky and who also forgot their lists. We smile politely at each other, but don’t bother with any holiday cheer.

In anticipation of all this crankiness and busyness and bah-humbug spirit, I proposed a different kind of Christmas celebration to my family. I waited until we were eating dinner together, one cold and quiet night.

We talked about the usual things: Zoe told us a long story about her science partner. We talked about skiing, about ice skating and sledding. And then, before the conversation could turn to what gifts were on each child’s wish list, I threw it out there.

What if we did something completely and totally different for Christmas? Instead of running around, part of a pack of crazed holiday shoppers, we could have a totally quiet and peaceful Christmas. We could rent a little cabin in the Adirondacks. All eyes were on me as I described a sweet and precious holiday together. We would stock up on food, lots of it. Wine and cakes and cookies and chips and nuts. We’d build fires and sit in front of them, reading and eating and snoozing. Then we’d take long walks through the frosty woods. After, we would stoke up the fire again and go back to playing games and eating.

There, I said it. Sounds awesome, right? I laid out the whole plan, put the entire Barretts’ Peaceful Holiday Plan on the table. Four pairs of eyes stared at me from across the dinner table. No one said a word.

“Well?” I said. “Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?”

“Um,” Zoe said.

“Is there cell phone service there?” Lucy asked.

“Wait.” Elliot got right down to business and asked what they were all wondering, “You mean instead of Christmas?”

Zoe thought about it, not saying much. I knew what she was thinking: three days, no friends, no television, lots and lots of family time.

“Can we bring a friend,” was all she said.

“Wait,” Elliot said again, pointing his fork at me.

“Hiking? In the cold? Seriously?”

Paul, smart as ever, just scratched his chin and didn’t say a word.

Yes, I told them, still hopeful. A quiet, peaceful Christmas. Just us. Their looks ranged from shock to horror and I realized that I wasn’t going to get my family into a rustic little cabin in the woods.

It’s all right, I told myself. Instead of going out to create a peaceful little Christmas in the woods, I would have a peaceful little Christmas here in our own house.

I vowed to find joy in small, precious moments. I’ll bask in the glow of the usual holiday cheer: the cookies made together, the ornaments hung on the tree. But also just moments we spend together, like putting stamps on Christmas cards. And listing all the naughty things our dog has done over the year.

Taking time to do things together takes the stress from the days leading up to Christmas. So I leaned forward and pointed my own fork at my family, striking a deal. No cabin in the woods, I told them. No hours and hours of family time in a little cabin. Cell phone reception, all the time. But, what I get is this: time. Time spent walking the dog on dark, shivery nights. Long, lounging afternoons in front of our fireplace. Just a little time, I asked.

The truth is I knew they wouldn’t want to spend the holiday in a small cabin in the woods. My chances of getting my family of five to enjoy three days together in front of a fire were about as good as Zoe getting the iPhone for Christmas: it just wasn’t going to happen.

But I did get a little leverage. Lucy knew that a stroll through the farmers market was better than being disconnected from her friends for three days. Elliot bundled right up to walk the dog on a starry night. And Zoe, still hopeful for the new iPhone, was sweet to everyone, even her brother.

So I got my holiday wish. And while rambling slowly through the farmers market one Saturday, I added beets to my basket. Lucy, with her hair messy and wishing she was still in bed, held the eggs and beets and a big loaf of bread and did it all with a bit of holiday cheer. I looked at her and loved her so in that moment.

This dish is one we’ve made a few times on Christmas Eve, when we gather with friends for a seafood feast and plenty of good cheer. It’s hard for even me not to be joyous on this evening. The fish is simply prepared, leaving plenty of time for merry-making. It’s delicious too, with just a touch of spice and the sweet, earthy tones of locally-grown beets.

This holiday, I didn’t get the cabin in the woods. But I did get my family. And that was enough to keep the Christmas crankiness away.

Curry Salmon with Gingered Beets

Curry Salmon with Gingered Beets

serves 6-7

This recipe is at its most beautiful when prepared with an entire side of salmon. You can still find plenty of local beets this time of year. They’ll be trimmed of their leafy green tops. Find small, firm beets and, if you can, purchase a few in different colors. The dish will look even prettier.

Heat oven to 425 degrees. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil. Lay the salmon on top and brush lightly with olive oil. Mix the curry with the salt and pepper and spread evenly over the fish. Slice the beets in half, and each half into 4 pieces. Slice the shallots into the same size wedges. In a small bowl, toss the beets and shallots with a bit of olive oil, and then the ginger.

Pour the vegetables evenly around the fish. Roast for 15 minutes, until cooked through but still moist.

Line a serving platter with the spinach leaves. Use a spatula to carefully lift the salmon onto the platter. Arrange the beets and shallots around the fish and serve hot.