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Saturday, January 31, 2015

There are days when i sit and wonder if any of this is worth it. Putting my whole life and emotions out there for the world to read... view... and judge ... there's been a lot of the latter.

But occasionally i get a message from someone that my blog has reached them or helped them and that helps me. It reminds me that i'm not the only person experiencing these feelings and emotions, and that my blog might be an outlet for others as well.

So i ask you this... if you read my blog, please message me or give feedback occaisonally.

I cant believe i'm saying this... but my child is five!!!
Her birthday was actually a few weeks ago, but between weddings and the plague taking over our house, i haven't been able to post. In fact shes at my parent's house right now since we are both sick.

heres a little about Langston:

Nicknames: Lani, Lady Bug, Toom Time Bears

How old are you? 5

What is your favorite color? purple, pink, and blue

What is your favorite animal? Benz (our dog)

What is your favorite book? Pete the Cat

What is your favorite TV show? Hey Jessie and Dino Thunder Power Rangers

What is your favorite movie? Frozen

What is your favorite song? Let it go and Turn Down for What

What is your favorite food? Cheese Sticks, and McDonalds

What is your favorite drink? Sprite

What is your favorite breakfast food? Hash Browns

What is your favorite snack? Fruit Snacks and Raspberries

What is your favorite outfit? My Elsa Dress

What is your favorite game? Heads Up

What is your favorite toy? My Dolls

Who is your best friend? Olivia, Addison, and Weston

What is your favorite thing to do? Watch Netflix

What is your favorite thing to do outside? play bubbles

What is your favorite holiday? Christmas
What do you like to take to bed with you at night? My Daddy Doll

Where is your favorite place to go? Monster Yogurt

What is your favorite restaurant? McDonalds

Where do you want to go on vacation? Mexico

What do you want to be when you grow up? A princess and a Doctor and a Librarian
What did you do on your birthday? we had dinner with Nini and Pappi at Chuckee Cheese, then had a power ranger party at Bounce U

Friday, January 9, 2015

After being in a relationships for almost 1/2 of my life (legitimately 17 of my 32 years), being alone is sometimes devastating. There were times i would pray for quietness and alone time, and now my life is full of it.

At night when Lani goes to sleep, or in the morning before she wakes, all thats left is the quiet....the still... and more alone time than i ever knew existed.

You look for company, friends, family to help fill void, but when it all boils down to it, the void is still there. You look around and see no one.

And suddenly the quiet that I once craved, seems so loud. Almost deafening.

Dealing with feelings and emotions that i didn't expect to experience until my 70's or at least my 60's. But here i am 32 and living the life i never imagined, and experiencing a silence that seems so loud.

People keep telling me that 2015 will be a big year for me, and I hope that is true

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the widow

The Widow

Ashley is a mother, a widow, a teacher, a photographer, a starbucks drinker, and a blogger! A sale shopper and loves a mani pedi any day of the week. Addicted to accessories and dollar bin shopping @ target. Loves a spring afternoon on a patio with a margarita or glass of wine.

the kid

The Kid...

Langston, affectionately known as L , already has a personality of her own. She is a brown eyed, makeup loving, soon to be 6 year old diva, that knows what she wants and may scream until she gets it (or guilt trip you into it lol).

She is wise beyond her years, and teaches me something new everyday.

She makes me want to be abetter woman and mother each and every day.

She has a smile that warms your heart and a frown that could melt it too. She is the center of our world and knows it!

The Angel

Sean was a father, a husband, a manager. A griller, a slim jim and meat eater, a poker player, basketball lover... ok a sports in general lover. Loved a massage and to be pampered (especially by the Ash.). A kareokee singer, a dancing machine, and a self proclaimed expert/the best at anything he did.