Friday, February 20

Sitting here trying to decide if I want to write a blog post (obviously that was my first thought), write in my journal (something positive for today), or just continue doing what I have been doing all afternoon (reading Facebook & myMSteam posts, checking for email on my phone. Or going to the kitchen for food or a drink). I usually don't write in my blog unless I have *something* that I think won't make me sound utterly boring. Still thinking. Lol. By writing "lol" it may be assumed that I actually laughed out loud, meaning that I must be fun. Or does it mean that I hope that you'll laugh because you'll find what I said amusing? That's it right there. Kind of like when Larry, The Cable Guy says, "I don't care who you are, that right there is just funny!" Writing something positive in my journal that was accomplished today would be good too. I would write that we now have enough food to get us through until payday, which will hopefully be next Friday, because I went and picked it up this afternoon. The last choice of writing nothing, too late for that one.

Thursday, February 19

Went to my appointment with the neuro, just like I said I had an appointment for when I wrote to you on my last post on the 17th. Well, as expected, nothing new to report. That's not completely true, as I did find out that the paperwork that he faxed to the company that'll set-up my receiving of the Ampyra didn't get received by the company like he thought. He talked to the representative at the company while I was there and she said that they didn't get anything, or at least there was no record of it, so she gave him different fax # to send it to. Upon looking the paperwork, he noticed that it was missing some of my insurance info, so he surmised that may have been a problem; perhaps the reason that I had not heard anything from said company. But, he did make sure that all the lines for info on me were filled-out, faxed it (again?), and once again we wait. I was going to talk with him about possibly upping the dosage of my antidepressant, but he was insanely distracted with phone calls from other patients in crisis mode, so I just let it go. Same thing about the med I don't think is doing shit. Basically, he was crazy busy, so I didn't add to the craziness. I did get one prescription refilled though; the one I have to be seen first before he can refill it.

Then we went to visit with my daughter and her boyfriend. We watched some TV, I got a haircut (really just buzz cut), had some pizza that they ordered from Domino's Pizza, watched TV and talked, then came home.

I was *certain* before I got out of bed this morning that I would be returning to bed for a couple of hours after I got home from taking my son to class. Once I had been up for a while though, driving and such, I decided not to go back to bed. Why? I'm not real sure. Just felt that I had already been in bed for 10 hours, so it probably wouldn't be good (healthy?) to add more. There was a time just a few years ago when 8 hours was enough bed time, but since then it has increased because I just don't have that much important shit to do. It's not like I have my own property to improve, nor do I have the motivation or money to do much tinkering on things around this rental. So, when I'm not on the computer, phone, grocery shopping, driving my son back and forth to class, or going to the Y for exercise class, I don't have a lot to do. Oh sure, I could read, but haven't gotten back into that since Xmas. Last week I tried, I really did, to get into crocheting, but I just don't seem to have the dexterity or motivation to do it. The needles and yarn aren't going anywhere, so there is always the chance I'll 'get er done' one of these days. Thinking of hobbies the other day though, I remembered that as a young lad, very young (early teen), I used to build auto models. Been thinking about trying that again, for a couple of years, but haven't. Seems my procrastination has become quite engrained. Well, I should eat something, like a bowl on instant oatmeal. Talk to ya later! Todd

Tuesday, February 17

I am cold. Or maybe I should amend that to say, "I *feel* like I am cold although it is pretty damn close to 70 degrees Fahrenheit in this room (living room), I have on a hoody, I am wearing fingerless mittens, long pants (jeans), calf high socks, and my shoes." Need I mention that I am also drinking hot coffee? Probably not, huh? I just did though. :-D

Anyway, I'm struggling for things to say. I have an appointment scheduled with my neurologist for tomorrow. Oh, it's not for anything that's wrong. It's so he can see how the medications that I'm on are working. That's one reason. Another is that I need a refill prescription for a medication that requires, by federal law that he sees me in person first. He doesn't know that I need the refill yet. I will talk to him about it when I see him. Also, there's a drug named "Ampyra", also known as "The walking drug' that I have asked to try again, to see if I give it more than 30 days if it will help me walk better than it did when I tried it about 5-6 years ago for only 30 days, that he is trying to get a free 60 day trial of through the manufacturer. I want to talk to him about that because according to the book of drugs that my prescription D drug company will cover, that's one of them. I also want to talk to him about a drug I feel isn't doing a damn thing, so the discussion of discontinuing it for a while is on my mind as well. As I write all of this down, the thought of "why?" the sharing of medical information is being broadcast to the WWW has crossed my mind.

That brings me to the question that my son asked me last week, after I asked him a question about a question that someone asked me. See, we were at a place in the town we live in when a person who seemed to know all the about this town asked me a question. I had never met this person before, but because he seemed to know so much about the town, I got the impression that he lived here. That was after he asked me, "What do people do around this small town?" I told him that there isn't a whole lot TO do, except go to the YMCA or out to eat. Then he said (paraphrasing), "People must like it here of they are 'just waiting to die'." OK, given that at the time I thought by previous knowledge of the town that he lived either in or close by, I said to my son, "If he knows so much about the place, why is he asking me what there is to do?" To which my son asked, "Why does anyone ask people questions?" I responded by saying, "I guess that people just feel the need to talk to other people." I read a quote that said, "Words are meant to be shared." a couple of weeks ago, and I've thought about how true that is (most of the time).

I just downloaded this application so that I can write a blog post on my phone. Since this is the very first day with the application, I have no idea what or how to change any settings. Like an auto-save. Do the settings made on the PC at the site apply? Let's hope so.

Read a few reviews while the download was in process. One was that there was no separation of paragraphs once posted to blogger. This is another paragraph.

This is another one. It's now 25 minutes after 2 PM. I should probably eat some food. More than likely it'll be a packet of instant, flavored oatmeal that I'll cook in the microwave for one minute and thirty seconds.

Thursday, February 12

When the alarm went off this morning I was not a person wanting to hear it. Despite being certain that I would be returning to bed after getting home from my morning delivery of my son to class, I have managed to avoid doing so. I've had a bowl of oatmeal (instant, for what it matters), cleaned the litter box, did a few dishes, brewed a pot of coffee, and as you can see, written a little bit. As for the rest of the day? No clue.

A few of my friends are having bad times with life right now. A couple dealing with pain, a couple dealing with legal issues, and even more from my support group with MS who're struggling some as well. And though I have my own issues, somehow they don't seem as important as my friends and theirs. So, if any of you are reading this, know that I am sending you my heartfelt wishes that your difficult times be brief and the outcome be even better than you could've imagined.

Thursday, February 5

So here I am again writing. Ever hear a song on the radio
that for some reason brings, or almost brings a tear to your eyes? Well, just a
thing happened while I was driving home this morning. And that’s all I have to
say about that. OK, fine, the song was, “Torn between two lovers,” sang by Mary MacGregor. It
reached #1 on the pop charts in 1977. One reason I think it hit me was because
she just has a beautiful voice. Another reason might be because it reminded me
of a woman I was deeply in love with, my late wife Renee’. We talked about it
being possible to love two people at the same time. Not that either of us did,
just that neither of us saw a reason why it shouldn’t be possible. And thirdly
it might’ve panged my heart because I miss the feeling of being in love.
Ironically enough I just decided within the last couple of days not to
worry/think about that as much anymore. To just let it happen, or not, when/if
it does or doesn’t.

When I first arose out of bed this
morning I thought that I’d probably bed returning back to bed once I returned
back home, like I did on Tuesday morning, but I did not. On the way home I was
debating on whether or not to stop and get a cup of cappuccino at 7-11. That’s
when the gas gauge dropped to two lines, meaning I should probably get gas
either before or after picking-up my son this afternoon. However, taking the
eventual need to get gas soon into mind, I stopped at the aforementioned store,
went inside, filled a coffee cup, and told the attendant that I also needed
gas; using 2 stones to kill one bird, or the other way around. Now I’m debating
on whether or not to brew a pot of coffee. Decisions!