Thursday, May 14, 2009

Wednesday is sushi night. Fiona and I have sushi every Wednesday, it's just how it is. Always at the same place, until last night. Because of terrible service, we walked an extra quarter mile down the street and it was sooo much better. They have really cushy chairs, with wrap around cushy arms, servers who speak English really well, they play old music videos on the tvs (instead of birds, birds and more birds), their sushi is a tiny bit more expensive, but their soup is better and bigger and their whole menu is more extensive. Plus, we didn't wait 20 minutes to have our order taken. No siree. Instead of waiting an entire HOUR before our rolls came, we had food in 15 min. We were HOME in an hour.

While I was sitting there, gushing about how wonderful the place was, proclaming that this was our new sushi place, Sheryl Crow came on the TV with the video for...."A change would do you good". I litterally got goosebumps.

Friday, March 27, 2009

So, things have gotten pretty strange around these parts. I think it's pretty much a done deal that two of the teachers are leaving here in a month, which is about two months earlier than their contract allows. These two teachers happen to be the two people I have lived with since I got here...Once again, things will be changing and I will feel like the helpless dimwit that I am. Hence, watching multiple episodes of Cheers from an indoor fort. Is normal.

This weekend should be pretty good, but I already feel overextended. That's not a good feeling, but hopefully the events that I overextend myself with will be enjoyable. Tomorrow I am going to the market, planning for the trip to Moscow and attending a Russkie Stol at my flat. Sunday I am going snowboarding again! That sounds exciting, but it also means a whole day where I don't get to sit at home in my pajamas doing nothing. Must get over that. I really want to run, but it is just too cold, I think. I just need a good running sweatshirt. I would just go buy one, but I know that I shouldn't anyway, since snowboarding will be enough exercise for some time and I don't want to be sore for it.

I know it's been quite a while since I posted on this blog, and yes, you probably should be concerned when I feel the need to go 'private' and post here.

Everything seems to be going fine. Just below the 'fine' surface though is this nagging anxiety and sadness and loneliness. Getting by and surviving are different than thriving. My life is so temporary. Everyone that I know now and talk to will be gone in less than four months. In 5 months I will be living in another country and leading a completely different life than I am living now and than I was living 5 months ago. Believe it or not, I don't like change. I like change that I can control, of course, but this is not that kind of change, or at least it doesn't feel like it. Being so susceptible to change means that I am not safe as far as I see it. I just don't feel protected here, basically. I am not going to pull a dooce, but I totally could, if you catch my drift.

Tonight, Elizabeth and I made a fort in our living room. That's right, folks, an old fashioned, 8 year old little girl fort, complete with blankets as walls and ceiling, and lamps, chairs and an ironing board for the structure. Pillows inside, pictures on the walls and a little lamp to read children's books in Russian. Well, Liza has gone to bed, and I don't think I want to leave. Strange, but I feel safe here. I can forget that I am in a scary, far away land where nobody speaks my language and I am generally treated like a disposable tool. The fort feels like it's my own little womb. Well, only better, cause I am pretty sure mom mom didn't have wireless internet. Too bad the floor is as hard as crap. No sleeping in here tonight....

Monday, January 12, 2009

Be happy I don't have time to write about how I am really feeling. It's not good. Hopefully by the time I write something it will be better, but at the moment I am very close to dropping $1000 and hopping the next flight home.

About Me

A 24 year old starting her second year in the 'real world'. A beginning runner, outdoor enthusiast, sports fan, knitter. Living the dream of teaching English as a 2nd language and working abroad in St. Petersburg, Russia. Watch my life unfold.