Telegraph revision to false claim on Palestinian refugees is still misleading

On Aug. 20 we postedabout an article published at The Telegraph by their Middle East correspondent, Robert Tait, which grossly inflated the number of Palestinian Arab refugees from the 1948-49 Arab-Israeli war.

Here’s the passage in question:

On the table are the familiar sticking points that have defied several previous peace-making attempts — namely borders, Jewish settlements in occupied Palestinian lands, the fate of almost five million Arab refugees expelled to neighbouring countries during Israel’s 1948 war of independence, and the status of Jerusalem, which both sides claim as their capital.

We complained to Telegraph editors, explaining that the number of refugees from the ’48 war was actually 711,000 (of whom only 30,000 remain today), while the 5 million figure represents those who qualify for “refugee” benefits (which includes the descendants of actual refugees) under UNRWA’s bizarre rules.

On the table are the familiar sticking points that have defied several previous peace-making attempts — namely borders, Jewish settlements in occupied Palestinian lands, the fate of almost five million Arab refugees and their descendants expelled to neighbouring countries during Israel’s 1948 war of independence, and the status of Jerusalem, which both sides claim as their capital.

However, the new passage is still extremely misleading, as it could easily be understood to mean that there were 5 million refugees from the ’48 war plus an additional number of their descendents.

We will continue communicating with Telegraph editors until the passage clearly conveys the correct number of refugees.

Its not that it, “COULD easily be understood to mean that there were 5 million refugees from the ’48 war plus an additional number of their descendents.” But that iT DOES mean just that. Therefore the second version is even more misleading than the first.

That is still unacceptable and anyone who uses the English language professionally would recognize the intent of deliberate distortion. It still sounds like the original number is 5 million and that descendants comprise additional numbers.

It could very easily be reworded as “a total of five million people, consisting of refugees and their descendants.” Even that isn’t clear as it doesn’t reflect the comparatively small number of refugees. If Tait were honest, he would write something like “711,000 original refugees and approximately 4.3 million descendants,” but that wouldn’t service his agenda.

How dare the Palestinians claim to be refugees from our lands that is what their rulers did to us when they had the chance. We are not doing any different. Jusr demolishing their houses and knocking their doors in the middle of the night to question their stone throwing children –
The greatest influx of Jews into Asia Minor and the Ottoman Empire, occurred during the reign of Mehmed the Conquerors’s successor, Beyazid II (1481–1512), after the expulsion of the Jews from Spain and Portugal. The Sultan issued a formal invitation to Jews expelled from Spain and Portugal and they started arriving in the empire in great numbers. A key moment in Judeo-Turkic relations occurred in 1492, when more than 150,000 Spanish Jews fled the Spanish Inquisition, many to the Ottoman Empire. At that point in time, Constantinople’s population was a mere 70,000 due to the various sieges of the city during the Crusades, the so-called Black Death of the 14th century, and the Ottoman’s military conquest of Constantinople, so this historical event was also significant for repopulation of the city. These Sephardic Jews settled in Constantinople as well as Salonika. The Sultan is said to have mocked the Spanish monarch’s lack of wisdom: “Ye call Ferdinand a wise king he who makes his land poor and ours rich!”.[16][17] The Spanish Jews were allowed to settle in the wealthier cities of the empire, especially in the European provinces (cities such as: Istanbul, Sarajevo, Salonica, Adrianople and Nicopolis), Western and NorthernAnatolia (Bursa, Aydın, Tokat and Amasya), but also in the Mediterranean coastal regions (for example:Jerusalem, Safed, Damascus, Egypt). Izmir was not settled by Spanish Jews until later. The Jewish population at Jerusalem increased from 70 families in 1488 to 1,500 at the beginning of the 16th century. That of Safed increased from 300 to 2,000 families and almost surpassed Jerusalem in importance. Damascus had a Sephardic congregation of 500 families. Istanbul had a Jewish community of 30,000 individuals with 44 synagogues. Bayezid allowed the Jews to live on the banks of the Golden Horn. Egypt, especially Cairo, received a large number of the exiles, who soon out-numbered the native Jews. Gradually, the chief center of the Sephardic Jews became Salonica, where the Spanish Jews soon outnumbered their co-religionists of other nationalities and, at one time, the original native inhabitants.
The Jews satisfied various needs in the Ottoman Empire: the Muslim Turks were largely uninterested in business enterprises and accordingly left commercial occupations to members of minority religions. They also distrusted the Christian subjects whose countries had only recently been conquered by the Ottomans and therefore it was natural to prefer Jewish subjects to which this consideration did not apply.[5]

Tell us Kumar, what makes Palestinian “refugees” so special? If a Darfurian couple flee the war and settles in Paris, children born to them are not considered refugees. The same goes for those fled Rwanda, Cuba, Nicaragua, Colombia, China, Russia, Belarus, Myanmar, North Korea, Zimbabwe, shall I go on? Only “Palestinians” have that status.

The greatest influx of Jews into Israel occurred when we arrived from Egypt and claimed our land.

The rest of your diatribe is irrelevant history. “Palestinians” also arrived in large numbers just over the past few hundred years from Iraq, Egypt, and Saudi Arabia.

Oh, and by the way, in case you think that it tickles, try bashing yourself on the head with one of those stones.

So we just suddenly appeared in the Eretz Yisrael? Do you doubt that there were Jewish kingdoms here until the Roman explusion? No one doubts Josephus or Herodutus and they could just as well made up everything.

Being non-religious is one thing. Being anti-religious is something else.

Itsik when you write “.. there is no evidence of the exodus ever taking place.”
I’m sorry my friend but I have to disagree with you.
There is evidence, but whether you accept it or not is another matter.
And I’m not talking about Biblical evidence but archaeological evidence.

Rather than me posting one scholar and their view and you posting a different scholar who contradicts their view, why don’t you pop along to The British Museum and ask the experts in there.

One racist state in the Arab world? Could that be Saudi Arabia, which forbids the practice of any religion besides Islam? Or maybe Sudan which has massacred over a million Darfurians. Maybe it could be Yemen where Jews have been forced to flee under threat of murder. Maybe it could be Lebanon, where Palestinians are forbidden from holding professional jobs. Maybe it could be a future “Palestine” whose President has stated that no Jews can live there.

It certainly couldn’t be Israel, where Arabs vote, hold political office, form political parties, and have those professional jobs. Except, of course, in the demented Arabist mind.

I agree with what Adam Levick said to the Telegraph and that he obtained a correction.

Needless to say, that still did not satisfy some of the commenters to this blog.

Indeed, most of them seem to me to be simple contrarians.

Whatever anyone says, they will – as a matter of routine – just disagree with it, regardless of the actual truth of the matter.

To see some of them acting as apologists for a proven criminal corporate entity – Veolia – indicates to me that it is pointless trying to reason with people who are just basically unreasonable in nature and temperament.

Consequently, this is definitely my last posting to CiF Watch.

I would like to thank Adam Levick for having been a gentleman and a scholar in permitting people like myself to post comments on his web site.

He – at least – has always been open to any reasonable comments.

It is just a pity that his good work is undermined by the rabid defenders of the indefensible and spewers of coarse invective.

it is also a pity that Adam’s blog will now be dominated by a group of people who all exist inside a restricted bubble of understanding. It impoverishes his good efforts.

I will now concentrate on promoting the BDS strategy and will commit myself even more to the achievement of fairness and social justice for the unfortunate and largely innocent people of Palestine.

Veolia is a criminal entity because it refuses to kowtow to the libero-fascist agenda.

Many of us wish that you would keep your word, but I personally doubt that to be the case.

Hopefully, you’ll just go back to your bubble where you can rabidly defend an egregious, racist vendetta. At least there you can perpetuate your refusal to understand anything outside your limited frame of mind.

Go on failing with your BdS. However, why don’t you incorporate a slight amount of integrity and boycott things made in Israel which you exploit like the computer chip in your computer.

reasonable comments? By someone who is going to promote the BDS strategy? LOL
BDS strategy is to eliminate Israel didn;t you hear. even the great Israel hater Finkelstine admitted that. I guess you do know and probalby support the one big Palestinian state.

I hope that you will be self-consistent, won’t use and won’t allow to use for your beloved ones (I doubt you have any but anyway) any Intel/Microsoft based computing power, you will throw away your smartphone (if a retired psychopath can allow himself having one) and naturally won’t use any medicament or medical procedure patented/produced/distributed by Israeli firms. It goes without saying that you are forbidden to read even the English language Israeli websites any media so giving you the almost impossible task: being more ignorant about the problem than you are now. Congratulations to join the cult (called this by N. Finkelstein) and I hope you’ll follow the great traditions of the European Nazi past with boycotting Jews.

Sorry the intelligent people who post here don’t see eye-to-eye with your BDS perspective. Best wishes on whatever you do, glad you’ll no longer be wasting everyone’s time here, and if you would stay gone that’d be nice.

The greatest influx of Jews into Asia Minor and the Ottoman Empire, occurred during the reign of Mehmed the Conquerors’s successor, Beyazid II (1481–1512), after the expulsion of the Jews from Spain , Portugal , South Italy and Sicily. The Sultan issued a formal invitation to Jews expelled from Spain and Portugal and they started arriving in the empire in great numbers.
A key moment in Judeo-Turkic relations occurred in 1492, when more than 150,000 Spanish Jews fled the Spanish Inquisition, many to the Ottoman Empire. At that point in time, Constantinople’s population was a mere 70,000 due to the various sieges of the city during the Crusades and the so-called Black Death of the 14th century, so this historical event was also significant for repopulation of the city. These Sephardic Jews settled in Constantinople as well as Salonika.
The Sultan is said to have exclaimed thus at the Spanish monarch’s lack of wisdom: “Ye call Ferdinand a wise king he who makes his land poor and ours rich!”.[17][18] The Jews satisfied various needs in the Ottoman Empire: the Muslim Turks were largely uninterested in business enterprises and accordingly left commercial occupations to members of minority religions. They also distrusted the Christian subjects whose countries had only recently been conquered by the Ottomans and therefore it was natural to prefer Jewish subjects to which this consideration did not apply.[19]

Reading Kumar’s comments, I can’t but think of the following joke. I’m sorry if this violates TOS Adam, I just can’t resist.
What happens when a fly falls into a cup of coffee?

The Italian throws the cup against the wall in anger and storms off.
The German removes the fly, pours the coffee down the drain, sterilizes the cup, and then makes a new cup of coffee.
The Frenchman removes the fly and drinks the coffee.
The Russian drinks the coffee with the fly since it’s free.
The Chinese removes the fly, throws away the coffee, and the eats the fly.
The Israeli pours the coffee down the drain, makes a cup of tea, sells cups of coffee to the Italian, Frenchman, German, Russian, and Chinese, uses the proceeds from the sales to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.
The Palestinian complains that it was really the Israeli’s fault that the fly fell into the coffee into the first place, cries at the UN for a loan to make another cup of coffee, and uses the money from the loan to make bomb which he sets off in the cafe where the Italian, Frenchman, German, Russian, and Chinese are all trying to explain to the Israeli why he should just give his cup of tea to the Palestinian.

I suppose Golda Meir laid down the rules and that should apply f the rest of the world –

During the Palestinian exodus, Israeli leaders decided against the return of the refugees. During her visit at Haïfa on May 1, 1948, Golda Meir declared: “The Jews should treat the remaining Arabs ‘with civil and human equality’, but ‘it is not our job to worry about the return [of those who have fled]”.[34] A group consisting of “local authorities, the kibbutz movements, the settlement departments of the National institutions, Haganah commanders and influential figures such as Yosef Weitz and Ezra Danin started lobbying against repatriation.[35] A Transfer Committee and a policy of faits accomplis were set up to prevent a refugee return.[36] In July, it had become an official policy:[37] “Absentees’ property” was managed by Israeli government and numerous Palestinian villages were leveled.
A parallel has been drawn by some commentators between the state and private restitutions made from Germany to Israel over Holocaust thefts and the compensation due to Palestinians evicted in the formation of Israel.[38] Others have compared Palestinians’ claims for compensation to the claims of ethnic Germans who were expelled from eastern Europe in the aftermath of the Holocaust and World War II.
In 1945, of 26.4 million dunams of land in Mandate Palestine, 12.8 million was owned by Arabs, 1.5 million by Jews, 1.5 million was public land and 10.6 millions constituted the desertic Beersheba district (Negev).[39][40] By 1949, Israel controlled 20.5 million dunams (approx. 20,500 km²) or 78% of lands in what had been Mandate Palestine: 8% (approx. 1,650 km²) were privately controlled by Jews, 6% (approx. 1,300 km²) by Arabs, with the remaining 86% was public land.[41]

The Zionists Michael kicked the Palestinians out of their houses – the zionists think the Palestinians deserve it because they belong to an inferior race and the Palestinian think FU I will get it back one day – guess who I think is right – not the Zionist.
YOur joke is a typical racist joke did you hear it during the Third Reich in Germany or did you hear it in South Africa during the Apartheid period or in Israel now?

Kumar – I realise it is a fool’s errand to try to reason with you, but I’ll give it one go.

“The Zionists kicked the Palestinians out of their houses”: i) some, undoubtedly were “forced” out under threat, others, undoubtedly chose to leave to clear the way for the invading Arab armies. Both are inevitable in a war zone, and are common to all war zones that have existed anywhere in the world throughout history. Sad, but true.

“The Zionists think the Palestinians deserve it”: Really? Where is your evidence? Would that be why Israel offered citizenship and equality under the law to anyone that remained of whatever faith and ethnicity? Surveys in modern day Israel demonstrate that large numbers of Israelis are extremely sympathetic to the Palestinian people’s plight (but not of the aims of their leaders and Arab “brethren” who keep them subjugated with the ultimate aim of destroying the Israeli state.

“because they belong to an inferior race”: Again – where is your evidence? I have no doubt that there are racist Zionists, just as there are racists in any sub-division of humanity you may choose. But to project this to all Zionists as you do is blatantly ridiculous. In any event, I would propose that if “the Palestinians deserve it” as you propose, it is simply because the 1948 war was only fought because the Arabs REJECTED the Partition Plan and immediately sought the destruction by military means of the Jewish state. You start a war, and you loose. It’s a bit rich to come back afterwards to say that you should not suffer any consequences for doing so.

MIchael of course it is very well documented but because, as you say, hidden it is not known and we have got your word for it. A word of a Zionist racist. If something smells like a rat it is a rat. Those who support ethnic cleansing are racists just like the fascists of the Third Reich.

The Israeli Ambassador at the U.N. began, “Ladies and gentlemen before I commence with my speech, I want to relay an old Passover story.

“When Moses was leading the Jews out of Egypt toward the Promised Land, he had to go through the nearly endless Sinai desert.

“When they reached the Promised Land, the people had become very thirsty and needed water. So Moses struck the side of a mountain with his staff and a pond appeared with crystal clean, cool water. The people rejoiced and drank to their hearts’ content.

“Moses put down his staff and went to a solitary corner of the pond to drink, and meditate in prayer. But once Moses returned, he found that his staff had been stolen.

“I have reason to believe ladies and gentlemen that the Palestinians stole the staff of our great Prophet Moses.'”

The Palestinian delegate to the UN, hearing this accusation, jumps from his seat and screams out, “This is a travesty. It is widely known that there were no such thing as ‘Palestinians’ at that time!”

“And with that in mind,” said the Israeli Ambassador, “let me now begin my speech.”

I have seen in some sites that pro Palestinian change the name of Israelis with Plaestinians as usual they need to steal someone else history.

The way I heard it is that the Ambassador went on to say – now have to make sure all those associated with the original theft must now be expelled and ethnically cleansed. – As you know there are no Palestinians and there were no Palestinian delegates in the UN as they just do not exist. I pity the people whose houses are being demolished because someone som many thousands of years ago stole something. I am not sure if Moses did not drop it in the pond and could not find it afterwards. Even more tragic consequence of an absent minded Prophet.

Palestinian man:
“This picture of me was taken a week before we left Ein-Kerem [near Jerusalem], in June 1948, in front of our house. The radio stations of the Arab regimes kept repeating to us: ‘Get away from the frontline. It’s a matter of ten days or at most two weeks, and we’ll bring you back to Ein-Kerem.’ And we said to ourselves, ‘That’s a very long time. Two weeks is too much.’ That’s what we thought [then]. And now 50 years have gone by.”

The fantastic world of
RObert Alright/Kumar Chaudry/Rebuttal/Jim Chance, Frederick, Richard
NSIsmail/NSIsmael/Jason Helper/John Walsh/ranamirza/Rafi Mirza, from NSIsmail to Antisemite Rana the antisemitic member of the Diane Shame Group of aliases like Mondoweiss Chris/Isac/ liar/Peter Ounce/Islamabadi/diane/dianeshammes/Angel/Rafi aka Sharon/Jane/Catherine/Samantha/HarpalSingh/AaronPatel/AnrewBird/Jeremy Bowles/AlanThornton/Jabal/Alan/Deborah/Jim/Jason/Dirk/Nick/Natzie/Rob, amended by Gerald with Dopey/Grumpy/Sneezy/Sleazy/Tosser/Dorothy/Straw Man/Dick Head/Drek

They tower over the natives: martial torsos; arms with coiled-wire sinews and a combat-hardened stare. Goliath hands clutch nervously at the tote bags. These are ex-Israeli soldiers and they are in India. Haggard and weather-beaten, fresh from military conscription they come to Delhi, Goa and the Himalayas to party and regale each other with stories of past.

It is a rite of passage for many young Israelis to visit India after finishing their compulsory military service.

The shekel goes a long way, the locals are friendly, drinks cheap and hashish and ecstasy circulated freely. While interactions between the Indians and Israelis are largely genial, there is a growing concern among certain rabbis that many are straying from the righteous path. When I say genial, I mean there aren’t any obvious tiffs but there is a hint of uneasiness luring around the corner.

Imagine your young military conscript − patrolling check-points, a gun slung over their shoulder and on perpetual alert – let loose in a funfair of a country where there they might go about unmolested. According to the Jewish Post, around 90 per cent take drugs in India with up to 2,000 ex-soldiers “flipping out” each year.

Last year, I was trekking north of New Delhi in MacLeodganj at the foothills of the Himalayas. The roads snaked around bulging soft turf hills. Trucks, cars and tuk-tuk carcasses rusted on the wayside. All was moss and lichen and fluorescent green. As I trudged along in a foggy February, rain, ferns and wildflowers led to a lone stone cottage on a knoll overlooking a sheer thousand-foot drop, festooned in Hebrew signs and mosiach flags.

Why do such an enormous number of ex-Israeli soldiers go to India, I remember asking the rabbi at the makeshift Chabad. He just shrugged.

Later on I met Moshe, a fresh-off-the boat IDF soldier from the West Bank, and asked him how he saw the natives. He told me that Indians were childlike and uncomprehending, “like a flock of sheep”.

One of the largest Jewish movements in the world has set up chabads or religious outreach centres to ensure that the young do not lose their way. These have been set up in places like the hashish-rich Manali in the Himalayan north and by the ecstasy-popping beach-towns of Goa.

Meanwhile, beach shacks have been known not to serve Indians. Whole parts of Goa are being bought up surreptitiously by Russians and Israelis. The Indian government is concerned. Chief Minister of Goa, Manohar Parrikar, was emphatic about not tolerating Russian and Israeli enclaves in his state and accused them of concealing drug dens. An Indian MP Shantaram Naik, accused the Israelis of “occupying Goa” and indulging in shady business activities.

An exasperated branch of the Catholic Church in Goa issued a statement accusing young ex-Israeli soldiers in Goa of being “dehumanised” after their compulsory stint in the army.

Authored by 11 seminarians and totalling some 96 pages, the investigative Catholic Church publication titled Claiming the Right to Say No: A Study of Israeli Tourist Behavior and Patterns in Goa accused the ex-soldiers of “unbecoming” behaviour incompatible with local beliefs and customs including drug trafficking, prostitution, all-night rave parties and crime sprees. In my own conversations with dodgy beach shack owners, the best way to get a chillum filled with weed was to follow the Hebrew signs.

India has had synagogues for a long time and I have always felt a tinge of pride at the absence of any anti-Semitism. As India’s stock rises in the world, her people travel outside and see the sights, many will start questioning our pill-popping guests.

For the moment India and Israel are consorts, co-operating on things like space programmes, defence and trade. But the Israeli government needs to get its act together. India is no longer the docile nation of yesteryear, to be taken for granted by the west. Given the large number of ex-military Israelis in India, the country has the potential to become the next proxy-war playground, as was clear from the early 2012 incident. It would be a pity if a resurgent confident India were to start cracking down on these ex-IDF soldiers. A whole millennia of accrued reputation would be lost, although some might say that it has started already. In August this year, the Indian Central Bureau of Investigation arrested five Goan police officers for planting drugs on an Israeli citizen and claiming that he was a big time “drug dealer”.

Meanwhile, the sheer spectacle of an orthodox Jewish rabbi, clad in black, walking through the bustling bazaars, makes for a striking scene.

What a strange contribution that is, Kumar. I have several questions for you:

1. What on earth does it have to do with the Telegraph egregiously exaggerating the number of Palestinians who were displaced in the 1947-8 war?

2. Did you write this? If not, please credit the author and provide the source.

3. Is it an offence for foreign residents to buy property in India? If not, are you similarly concerned by the amount of property being bought in Central London by citizens of Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain and other Arab states? If not, why not?

4. If some Israelis are committing crimes in India, such as drug trafficking, then I hope the Indian authorities prosecute the perpetrators according to Indian law, just as I hope the British authorities prosecute people (of whatever nationality) guilty of similar (or any) offences in Britain. What’s your point, though? Are you suggesting that Israelis are uniquely evil? Surely not.

They tower over the natives: martial torsos; arms with coiled-wire sinews and a combat-hardened stare. Goliath hands clutch nervously at the tote bags. These are ex-Israeli soldiers and they are in India.

Although there are SOME Israelis who are tall and who have large hands, on average Israelis tend to be somewhat on the short side. I’d be surprised if most of the Israelis on their post-army trips to India “tower over the natives” and have “Goliath hands.”

Note also the writer’s definition of “chabad” [lower-case in the original]:

One of the largest Jewish movements in the world has set up chabads or religious outreach centres to ensure that the young do not lose their way.

ItsikDeWembley said –
AUGUST 22, 2013 @ 3:58 PM
I have reason to believe that Kumar has smoked more than his fair share of dope.

labenal – you have a nasty habit of interfering – is this a habit you have acquired becaused of your Zionist ideology that everything is mine God gave it to me – but if you had read who the comment was addressed to and why – may be you should have resisted – I hear Israel attacked Lebanon yesterday on some trumped up charge of being an exitential threat to the Zionist entity in the Middle East.

Did you enjoy your hashish trip to India and did you read the article – Why do you lot have to go to India for hashish why not just import it to your own democracy.

Hey Kumar, you insufferable fool. This is an open blog, and anyone is free to comment on any thread they wish. Your response begs an additional set of questions:

– What evidence do you have that a) Itsik is Israeli, b) he has ever been to India, c) he ever took drugs of any kind, wheteher in India or at all? Or are you just assuming t all Jews are the same? Isn’t that a little bit … racist?

You just happaned to forget that it was a retaliation to 4 rockets which were being fired from Lebanon. As for your Indian story. This is too funny I must say.
We just go where every one in the world go to get Hasis where it is cheap. LOL

The fantastic, but antisemitic world of
RObert Alright/Kumar Chaudry/Rebuttal/Jim Chance, Frederick, Richard
NSIsmail/NSIsmael/Jason Helper/John Walsh/ranamirza/Rafi Mirza, from NSIsmail to Antisemite Rana the antisemitic member of the Diane Shame Group of aliases like Mondoweiss Chris/Isac/ liar/Peter Ounce/Islamabadi/diane/dianeshammes/Angel/Rafi aka Sharon/Jane/Catherine/Samantha/HarpalSingh/AaronPatel/AnrewBird/Jeremy Bowles/AlanThornton/Jabal/Alan/Deborah/Jim/Jason/Dirk/Nick/Natzie/Rob, amended by Gerald with Dopey/Grumpy/Sneezy/Sleazy/Tosser/Dorothy/Straw Man/Dick Head/Drek

Labenal you do know the difference between the publisher and the writer I assume – generally you are very clever – but I think you play the fool as a means of mocking people or am I just being paranoid.

The antisemitic world of
RObert Alright/Kumar Chaudry/Rebuttal/Jim Chance, Frederick, Richard
NSIsmail/NSIsmael/Jason Helper/John Walsh/ranamirza/Rafi Mirza, from NSIsmail to Antisemite Rana the antisemitic member of the Diane Shame Group of aliases like Mondoweiss Chris/Isac/ liar/Peter Ounce/Islamabadi/diane/dianeshammes/Angel/Rafi aka Sharon/Jane/Catherine/Samantha/HarpalSingh/AaronPatel/AnrewBird/Jeremy Bowles/AlanThornton/Jabal/Alan/Deborah/Jim/Jason/Dirk/Nick/Natzie/Rob, amended by Gerald with Dopey/Grumpy/Sneezy/Sleazy/Tosser/Dorothy/Straw Man/Dick Head/Drek