Wannabe Satirist Struggling to Come Up With New Ideas

"That's not even satire. That's just stupid," critiqued a substitute teacher. "It's like, he thought that was funny, but the catch is, it's totally not."

"Yeah, I feel like people are on board with the whole thing. Funny stuff, right?" observed the plaid-laden buffoon in question.

"Never in my career have I read a piece of writing that I can honestly say is comparable to watching a cat slowly meow, but today, that changed." said Mrs. Corlett.

The reactions come as several teachers and students have openly expressed their dismay with the paper.

"I feel like if I can do class work and make people laugh, that's something really special," the gangly writer states with sentimentality.

"Honest to god, I feel like, after reading this article, that I just went down a water slide without water, and instead I just had to crawl down the slide until I got to the bottom," a disheartened grade 10 student says recounting their experience reading the piece.