"Semi-Charmed Life"

"Europe"

Ian McGraw

The Lyrics

This parody is from the unedited album version. The radio version edits large portions of the song out and will make this parody not make sense.

Do do do, do-do-do-do, do do do, do-do-do-do, do do do, do-do-do-do, do do do

I've packed and I've folded, I'm smiling, I'm leaving for Europe, and I leave today, Bound for various locations, I've got reservations In hotels from Spain to Italy, And I'll travel 'round like the tourists do, Do everything they always do, Snapping photos, too, See the sights I'm told to go to, Won't stop 'til the tour guide is all through.

So I catch the Concorde, go to London, August 1st, Ride a double-decker at the airport that's the worst, Heathrow ain't the best place you can stay, But it gets you to where you wanna play.

Do do do, do-do-do-do, do do do, do-do-do-do, do do do, do-do-do-do, do do do

Now, I was told, when in Rome, Not to do what I would do if I was home, So I took a little trip there, It's the place where You can see the Pope up on his feet, And the Coliseum, it's the building falling down across the street, My gondolier Was too drunk too be driving in Venice and just couldn't stop And then we bumped up against a building on the left And then we bumped again, and we bumped again, I said, "How'd you get your license to be driving one of these fancy kayaks," And the guy just looked up and slurred, Some crap in Italian.

I believed when the odor hit my nose I'd reached Germany; but soon I would see that Smell of cheese that had caused me woes (And was so strong that it made me cry), Wasn't from dairy farms, but from some guy In Paris who waved to say hi...

And when my plane came in to Amsterdam airport, The red lights, they glowed in the city, I fought off the urge to go outside, (For all five minutes--yeah, I lied!) This girl who was wearing a see-through dress Was the most-dressed, I must confess, My buddies at home would've been impressed To see the kind of stuff that I saw at Oktoberfest

A hundred bar fights, And noses broken, And the white lederhosen legs (Just a million now!)

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