Question

My MIL is driving me crazy!

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I am about to have my first child. Everything's been going smoothly until now. Ever since I found out a week ago that my MIL is having my husband set up a crib and a baby room at HER house, I have been constantly stressed and annoyed at the fact that she is nesting at her house and asking my partner to nest when it isn't her baby to nest for. I feel extremely territorial now and I am dying to tell her to back off but it's her first grandchild and my husband thinks she isn't doing anything wrong. Both of her kids were forced to grow up around drugs, and in an unstable/unsafe home due to the way she lives her life. I never intend on letting my child stay overnight over at her house. I resent her so much for the kind of mother she was to my husband, that I don't like the thought of my kid ever going over to that house. In the end, I'm going to do things the way I want. I should be happy and excited about our new baby, but I feel annoyed and angry at everything she does. Am I overreacting?

Mom Answers

If she is an unsafe person to be around I wouldn't want her around my kid PERIOD! Babysitting a baby when you do drugs? Uhhmmm, guests or not, your still high. Nope! I will say you and your husband need to set up these boundaries ASAP! I'd say "oh it's nice that when we're over for dinner we can put the baby down!" That is nice, but also shows that no, this isn't where it'll sleep. Also, I agree, set up your own little nest! You're child is your job though, whatever you do to keep it safe is YOUR job and YOUR choice. Make sure to discuss with your husband!

P.S. If you are upset because you don't have anything prepared at your house, ask your hubby to go ahead and set up your crib. That should take care of any jealousy in that aspect. You are right that it is your child, and your husband should be putting you and your baby first.

You might be overreacting a little about the nesting part. She just wants to be prepared for when the baby will come to visit. The baby will more than likely want to take naps while you are over at the house visiting. As for the baby not staying the night, I don't think you are overreacting. I would feel the same about my child being in an environment like that. Don't feel like you should deny her access to her grandchild, but maybe do so with supervision by yourself or your husband. If she wants to babysit, let her, but do it at your house and specify that there should be no visitors while she is watching your child. Keep in mind that people do change, but you should be vigilant still.

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