Horror Power Ranking – February 23, 2009

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9 years ago

This is the Costume Drama Power Ranking, right? It looks that way this week, at least, what with two Pride and Prejudice adaptations taking the top spot, and you guys having a field day with other mash-up suggestions in last week’s comments (“Steppenwerewolf,” “The Clockwork Oranges of Wrath”). Friday the 13th continues to do strongly at the box office, despite being bad, and Wes Craven goes remake crazy in three of our spots. Check it out:

Pride and PredatorBest idea ever? Elton John is producing a feature film pitting Jane Austen’s heroines against the alien hunting machine in a very polite battle to the death. This idea would be even better, if it wasn’t for…

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Pride and Prejudice and Zombies…which, sadly has gotten lost in the shuffle due to Pride and Predator‘s goofier concept. I still love this idea, and it actually seems, ah, more faithful to the book, but will it feel fresh as a second horror take-off?

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Friday the 13thWhy does Friday the 13th fall below two Pride & Prejudice adaptations? Because they have a fresh take on their ideas, and Friday the 13th does not. Jason continues to clean up at the B.O., but horror fans deserve a better breed of slasher.

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Last House on the LeftLast House gets knocked down one slot this week, as it seems to be inspiring a disturbing trend: More Wes Craven remakes, including People Under the Stairs. If Last House is good, awesome. If it’s not…

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Scream 4Kevin Williamson writing… Wes Craven possibly directing… Returns diminishing… This is definitely going to get made, and I’m calling one thing now. The kill in the first scene? Lindsay Lohan. You heard it here first.

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Twilight 2: The Return of the Screaming Teen GirlsIt’s baaaaack. After one blissful month without Robert Pattinson’s ginormous hair, news has leaked about The Twilight Saga: New Moon, and the third movie hitting just seven months after that. Hooray?

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Jennifer’s BodyThis movie isn’t even close to out yet, and already writer Diablo Cody has signed on to produce another comedic horror movie, Breathers, a — wait for it — zombie comedy. We loved Juno, Cody, but one thing at a time, OK?

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Nightmare on Elm StreetSpeaking of Craven remakes, with the director in place, talk has turned to who should play Freddy. Here’s my pitch: Freddy has gotten old and paunchy, takes on a plucky, murderous kid to teach the family business. That kid? Robert Pattinson.

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Mum & DadThis UK film won’t be released until May 26, but it’s already on our radar, given the super creepy trailer. It looks like a mash-up of a million other films, including Texas Chainsaw, and, er, Unaccompanied Minors. But we’re intrigued.

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Lesbian Vampire KillersWe’ve been going back and forth for the past few months about whether this is the smartest idea ever, or the stupidest. Now, with the full trailer released, we know the answer to the question: It will be completely unspectacular either way.