Thursday, November 29, 2007

Introducing... Wobble, Bobble, Lee

So I was just messing around, digging through the web when I came across this blog called WobbleLee BobbleLee Lee and it had a title of, "Random Musings of a Literate Under Achiever." I stared at this and thought, "Crap. Someone out there is exactly like me, but has already created a witty blog." It took some investigation but I was finally able to discern that it was in fact me who created this thing several months ago. I honestly did not (and still do not) have any recollection of creating this thing.

Well, this really chaps my ass. To think that my brain was so busy and forgetful that I could create something like this, totally forget doing it, and then not even recognize it when I read it. This makes me wonder what other events I was involved in that I may have forgotten. To that end however, I believe I will take this newfound blog spot as a decent venue for airing these thoughts that may otherwise drift off into the ether. This is also an opportunity to further my goal of being relevant, and I can think of no better way for me to become relevant, than to write to all of you.

I should probably introduce myself. I wrote this a while back, while I was laid up with an injury and will serve as your introduction to the world of Wobble Lee. It is not entirely true anymore, as I do not currently have a mohawk, and I did not spend part of today, (November 29, 2007) reading about Aldous Huxley. However, the rest remains relevant. Please enjoy.

May 3, 2007 - Thursday

Writing can be about anything... right? Current mood: Painfully pillful

Alright, I have been sitting, well lying here on my floor for an entire day, renovating my page and messing around online, oh and taking a bunch of pills. For the record, the mixture of Ibuprofen 800's, Percocet and Methocarbamol muscle relaxers should work, but doesn't. It just makes me kinda sleepy, but that's it. Perhaps there is something in the combo of Mike 'N Ikes and Diet Dr. Pepper that neutralizes the effects of such drugs.

Whatever. Anyway, aside from being kinda broken and horribly bored today, I have at least been able to work on writing a little. It has led to a discovery that writing can be about anything. Now good writing may be different, but I needed to write something so I started with something I know... me. Here is a 35 sentence self-portrait. Maybe it's dumb but I am bored. Perhaps you are as well.

This is all entirely true.

I have a Mohawk right now. I like listening to yodeling polka. I spent part of today reading about Aldous Huxley. I have appeared in TIME magazine. I have jumped from airplanes.

I don't really like my job, yet I attend (almost) every day simply out of spite. I enjoy writing. I love witty conversations with sarcastic people. I hate assholes and pussies, the figurative ones, not the literal. I have owned a rock 'n roll nightclub.

I have played in rock bands. I have raced motorcycles. I have been in street brawls. I volunteer my time to help others. I have never taken any illegal drugs.

I only drink socially. I support your right to do… whatever. I have a Picasso print on my desk but I never sit there. I have taken a few for the team. I once bought thirty boxes of candy to give to all the strangers in a theater.

I am often pissed off by geo-political nonsense. I do not watch much TV but will always own one. I like flipping people off. I can look very intimidating. I am remarkably hard to offend.

I am articulate and well educated, yet hold pure disdain for most institutions of higher learning. 55,000 people once gave me a standing ovation… for falling on my head. I desire a new direction. I have never dated anyone for as long as a year. I have only cheated in a relationship once and it was to help a buddy out.

I pick all my battles and rarely lose the ones I pick. I have never let women or money destroy my friendships. I believe in treating people well, even if it is not often reciprocated. I just repeated the song "Boot Camp" by Soundgarden on my iTunes 9 times. Your parents would like me, but probably not know why.

There you have it. 35 sentences about me. I don't seem boring if you build your opinions based on things like this. I think I should go try to add new things to the list. For example, I would like to say that I have saved a life or written a novel, or won a pie eating contest or...