Occasionally we like to go to a vanilla bar where I attempt to meet single guys as my husband watches. The goal can vary from flirting and dancing to finding a playmate. We have done this several times with varying success. I am never sure what to tell a guy when I meet him... I am here alone? I am here with a friend? I am here with my husband, he is off running around? While I do not want to lie, I do not want to scare anybody off either. Anybody else play this game? How do you set it up?

I am glad something I said to you got through. You're on dangerous ground that can backfire in ways you never conceived. Keep talking, be supportive and be patient. The LS is not for everyone, she may come around in time but I guarantee you pressuring her will work against you. Good Luck, stay honest.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL

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CLDC,

Listen carefully to Mrs. Sav. She gets it.

I would recommend you start over from scratch and open the conversation with her. Be completely up-front and honest and ask her to be the same. She may be gung-ho in theory, but hesitant or even fearful to see the fantasy become a reality once she is confronted with the imminent encounter. That's ok and may NOT indicate that she'll never do it, but the responsibility for going SLOWLY will be with you. Let her determine the pace and where her comfort zone is. She may need to continue with the overt flirting and dancing with no real action for a while as she considers if this is really what she wants. Keep talking and fantasizing together. It took us 8 years of frank open HAWT discussions and fantasizing to come to the point where we were ready for only a threesome MFM)

Brunnerville PA

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I'm glad you figured that out. A wife who needs to be intoxicated, primed with spiked punch unbeknownst to her or set up at a bar with swingers (males or couples) is not ready for the LS. In regard to bringing in a single to boost her ego.....BAD bad idea. If she ever found out it would be unforgivable and simply confirm that even you didn't think she was hot enough to get straight forward, honest attraction. In fact if she gushed how happy she was about the compliments and attention only to find out it was a set up you could never been fully trusted again in your actions and any/all future encounters would be colored by the knowledge you set her up once. Fantasies are sometimes best left there and just because someone is turned on by the idea doesn't mean they are turned on by the actuality.

Anniston AL

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WOW Racer! Some people are just crazy. Good to see that you are ok and that dumbass does not have several holes in him. Be safe.

Cincinnati OH

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Oh. Well, Nic without going into too much detail........things really got sideways for us down there and burned up about 5 days of our 10 day vacation. A road raging bully, huge sumbitch 6'11" 342 pounds basically attacked us. (Biggest guy I have ever seen, the policeman agreed.) His argument was that I was going too slow and didn't know how to drive. Well when he got out of the car to fight us (we were in a opened convertible), he was more than a little surprised to run into two CWP holders who were carrying and very ready. The police finally convinced the sheriff / judge that we did the right thing and let us go on our way . Police said the well known local bully was lucky to have learned a pain-Free lesson. So we basically just chilled out with the guitar the rest of the trip.

Bonneau SC

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Good luck tonight and please do keep us posted!

New Orleans LA

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Stood YOU up? I emailed you my phone number and when we would be arriving in KW and didn't get a call or text.

New Orleans LA

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Hah, you gotta like ole Nicatnite he's always using that likable soft sell approach. Heck, I forgive'em for standing me up in Key West.

Bonneau SC

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You shouldn't be surprised that the guys chickened out, they probably thought she was single or cheating and when they realized there would be another guy involved, well that isn't what most vanilla guys are looking for.

My advice is to screen some local single males on SLS and "plant" one of them in the bar you go to next time. Have him play the role of a chance encounter and even maybe balk at the opportunity at first then agree to joining you two. It will build her confidence and if the guy has some experience, he won't freak out when you are all naked on the bed together.

FYI, I do have some friends in NJ I hope to visit the end of summer. Just sayin'

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