Guest_jekessans_*

We’ve all heard it, you know, the line where every lesbian laments “Waaaa! There aren’t any good women out there!”

Considering how Lesbians interact or I guess I should say don’t interact – it’s no wonder why “meeting the right person” is so difficult. Basically as everyone knows Lesbians are like geese; they travel in gaggles. The interactions of geese from different gaggles is identical to that of lesbians who try to interact from different group -lots of honking and goose drama is likely to ensue.

The real problem isn’t that there aren’t any good women out there, the real problem is that meeting one another is made next to impossible thanks to some archaic and tightly held female beliefs. If you’ve ever just sat back and watched, you’ve no doubt noticed that most women hang back waiting for someone else to take the initiative of introducing themselves.

But…and here is where lesbian etiquette is questionable, when someone actually musters enough courage and takes the bold step of introducing themselves, the reaction is generally one of a rude brush off. We’ve all witnessed this. It’s like the person who wanders over from their gaggle because someone from another gaggle has piqued their interest, gets rudely honked at for daring to invade the introducee’s gaggle.

As lesbians we definitely lack the art of meeting someone and certainly lack the art of properly interacting with someone who has shown some interest in meeting us. What to do? Next time someone wishes to make your acquaintance follow these 5 guidelines and see how much better meeting other Lesbians goes.

1. If someone introduces themselves to you, it means they find you interesting and would like to get to know you better – not necessarily sleep with you. Now repeat after me: meet does not mean sleep, meet does not mean sleep…

2. If someone shows interest in meeting you and her friend makes the bold move of telling you that her friend is interested in meeting you – it’s the same as number 1.

3. If someone does make such a bold move (it takes courage) to meet you and you’re not interested in her, the proper reply is one that shows an appreciation of their willingness to pay you that compliment. For those not wishing to add friends or lovers to their gaggle the proper reply is, “That’s very flattering, but I am (fill in the blank).” Replies can be things such as “partnered”, “spending special time with my friends this evening”, etc. Get it? This way you show the introducer appreciation for taking initiative and showing interest in you, but don’t come off sounding like an evil winch – which is generally common in our world. For those interested in adding to their circle of friends the proper reply is, “It’s a pleasure to meet you too, My name is (fill in the blank). Would you like to join me (my friends). We were just talking about (fill in the blank).” See? Simple.

4. Make the effort to break out of your circle and meet other women when you’re out - with or without friends. Most unattached lesbians are looking for potential long-term mates, but like you are probably always happy to make new friends. How are you ever going to really know if someone is “the one” just from first appearance impression alone? Lesbians always say they go deeper than looks, so prove it. If nothing else, meeting other gaggles of lesbians expands your gaggle.

5. Take a lesson from our gay brothers and how they make meeting others look so easy. And no, I’m not talking about that special technique they’ve mastered where they give another guy a “come hither to the bathroom and do me look” and it’s on. No, I’m talking about how they have no qualms about sauntering up to perfectly strange men and introducing themselves. Gay men definitely have meeting others down to a fine science and one we lesbians need to learn - badly.

Let’s face it, most lesbian squabbles arise over some woman acting like they have a big ol’ stick up their exit hole as perceived by another woman and the goose fighting and gaggle drama is on from there.

Making a small effort and taking a little time to create a positive interaction with another will go far in keeping the peace and could very well create new friendships. Gauche (lacking grace) behavior just isn’t appealing to anyone, least of all someone who may just be “the one”.

Excellent writing on this topic. It takes so little effort to be kind and courteous. I agree with you meet does not equal sleep! imagine the good feelings that can be shared by just acknowledging some other dyke who has mustered up the courage to say hello. I know I appreciate ti when I am treated that way, even when the interest is not mutual. I have made some lasting friends by both giving and receiving this kind of acknowledgement. And for those that I was not able to connect with be it me mustering up the courage or being approached, it just feels better to be treated kindly.