March 7, 2010

Are you hoping for a big moment tonight? Or have you had it with Oscar grandiosity — especially in a year when nothing seemed very grand at all... except in that horrible in-your-face grand way that you have to put on special glasses for?

The last time I watched the Oscars was when The Duke won Best Actor. There was a time when everybody wanted to know who won the big three Oscars. It was like who won Miss America (which state) or the World Series.

Part of the problem is the brands have been cheapened. Too many playoffs, too many junk awards shows, but Florida also has a point. The days when Greer Garson (I think) got all weepy and wanted to remember all the little people and that was what made the show run (way) over are long gone. Now, every actor that dropped out of high school or freshman year of college wants to remake the world in the image of the Lightworker In Chief.

I recall one or two sweet moments - like when Kevin Costner brought his parents - but generally, the sanctimonious, condescending attitude of most talent, amplified by a perceived audience of billions, is just too much for me to take.

My interest in this awards show has been going down, down, down, ever since Kramer vs. Kramer beat Apocalypse Now. I will be watching Kind Hearts and Coronets, which is, though not quite a masterpiece, easily better than any of the films this awards show parasitically feeds upon.

Gawker cut out the best part of the David Niven/Streaker moment. After the man passes and the audience laughs and a bemused Niven says something like, "the only laugh that man will have in his life and it's from showing off his shortcomings."

Here's a clip from the Oscars, but the Oscar people ruin the moment too by cutting in people describing what happens in the video because, you know, we are too stupid to figure it out ourselves by watching it alone.

I'll take this opportunity to be contrary - I'll be watching, and for one reason or another, enjoying every minute. And I think there were quite a few grand cinematic moments in the past year - "Inglourious Basterds" and "The Hurt Locker" among them.

This year I'd seen 9 of the 10 best picture nominees before they were announced (one of the benefits of being empty nesters and unemployed) - usually, I have to scramble to see the top-nominated films before the awards.

A serious question to all those who said they will not be watching the Oscars tonight...

Is that because you know you can hit a few keys on your comp in the morning to find out who won, or is it because you just have no interest in movies? Maybe it's because you have no interest in celebrating anything Hollywood, because they're a bunch of leftist pigs living in their million dollar cribs?

"Is that because you know you can hit a few keys on your comp in the morning to find out who won, or is it because you just have no interest in movies? Maybe it's because you have no interest in celebrating anything Hollywood, because they're a bunch of leftist pigs living in their million dollar cribs?

In my case, probably mostly the third. Not necessarily entirely for the political implications, as you suggest, but rather also for the narcissistic ones. Watching a bunch of people yapping about themselves and patting themselves on the back, accompanied by truly bad production numbers and lame "humorous" small talk poorly delivered has no affect on whether the movies are good or bad or worth watching. I'll see the ones (eventually) that seem to stand the test of time and sound appealing. That's good enough for me. And I won't be going out of my way to check the Internet in the morning either. Much like the Olympics, I just don't care about the hype any more.