Chuck Norris Fighting For Everyone Who Can't Fight Back

COLUMBUS, OH—According to a local television announcer, at 11:30 p.m. this Sunday on WPZH channel 27, Chuck Norris will fight for everyone who can't fight back. "Chuck Norris is a renegade cop on a deadly one-way mission for revenge," the announcer said. "His assignment? Action." The announcer added that Norris, whose designated mission code name is Lone Wolf McQuade, will not come back until he gets what's his. Norris plans to repeat the highly dangerous, covert mission again at 2 a.m. Monday on the same channel.