Kate Beckinsale Going ‘Back and Forth’ on Having Another Child

Will she, or won’t she? That’s the question Kate Beckinsale — and her ovaries — are wondering these days when it comes to having another child.

“At some point the decision will be made for me, when my ovaries dry up and die,” the actress, who turns 39 later this month, tells Glamour UK. “We’ll see. There’s nothing that makes me go, ‘And now I must have triplets.'”

“I got back and forth on it,” she says. “I feel very lucky in that we navigated a pretty bumpy situation and that Lily’s OK. So my resistance is along the lines of, ‘Do I want to upset the apple cart?'”
She adds: “There’s absolutely part of me that goes, ‘I’d love to have a baby in the relationship I’m in, and have that experience when the relationship’s really good and exclusive,’ but I’m just not sure.”

She’s happy she had Lily when she did. “I was gigantic after I had Lily,” she says. “I put on a good [50 lbs.], and it didn’t go until I stopped breastfeeding … I was lucky that Britain wasn’t so paparazzi-orientated then.”

But while her biological clock may determine whether or not she becomes a mom again, Beckinsale is otherwise completely fine with getting older.

“Aging is going to happen and it should,” she says. “My father died at 31 [when Kate was just 5], so to me, aging is extremely preferable to the alternative, which is not aging. Every year I get past 31, I think, ‘Thank God.’ It’s a gift to be able to go, ‘I look different, that means I’m not dead!'”

Besides, she feels young at heart.

“I’m so much happier in myself these days. I wouldn’t like to be 23. I prefer what I look like now; I prefer what I feel like now,” she says. “I’m not having a hip replacement or a face lift or hot flashes. The only thing that’s different is I’ve got a child who isn’t dying to hold my hand on the way into school.”

selfish woman… to say she won’t get pregnant because of weight!! it’s like she’s saying that having a good body is more important than being a mother… Kate you have money, you can go back to the old body if you pay for it!

Shannon
on July 6th, 2012

She probably won’t have any more children. It seems she would’ve done it by now.

Cinder Lou
on July 6th, 2012

Maybe this is a decision best made with her husband, instead of sharing her indecision with the rest of the world. Is she really expecting us to help her decide?

Ashley
on July 6th, 2012

@Elisa

She said no such thing. She simply said she’s glad she had a baby when she did (12 years ago) when people weren’t so celebrity obsessed & celebs weren’t pressured to lose the baby weight they gained over 9 months in a period of 4 weeks… Please read the article.

LAURA
on July 6th, 2012

She should not have another child unless she is 100% sure it’s right for her family. At her age the chance of a problem is increased so she should make up her mind soon.

LM
on July 6th, 2012

Elisa – I dont’ think it’s fair to call her selfish. She makes a living off of how she looks, and pregnancy can be brutal on the body. It was to mine. I run 5x a week and still don’t have my pre-pregnancy body.

Anyway, this woman is stunning. Isn’t Michael Sheen with Kath Bosworth now? If so, he went downhill. I think she’s one of the most beautiful women in the industry.

donna
on July 6th, 2012

Elisa, she didn’t say she wouldn’t get pregnant because of weight..she said she wouldn’t get pregnant because of the difficult time she had during her last pregnancy…i can understand not wanting to risk it, at her age especially

LoveKate
on July 6th, 2012

Elisa, I strongly disagree with you. You connected weight and another child — not Kate Beckinsale. If you read the article, she states that she’s happy her daughter adjusted to her parents separating and introducing a stepdad. Beckinsale is an intelligent, honest person and you have misinterpreted her quotes. She sounds like a grounded woman in Hollywood that’s thoughtful about her choices.

Leslie
on July 6th, 2012

Elisa, nowhere in this article does she say her decision has anything to do with gaining weight… she only said that she felt lucky because when she was pregnant 13 years ago there wasn’t as much paparazzi.

I got the impression she’s hesitant because her life is good and stable right now, and she isn’t sure if a new baby would upset things.

4coconuttymonkeys
on July 6th, 2012

You are putting words in her mouth, Elisa. She didn’t say that was why she isn’t having another, just that she had her at the right time. Sheesh! Wait until you read the WHOLE interview since that was probably taken out of context.

As far as what Kate said, I can get it. There can be so many issues with kids out of divorce. They are very blessed to not have to deal with the “typical” broken family issues from Lily. It is understandable that it would feel like rocking the boat with a major life change.

-BUT- I can say that it is totally worth it. I’ve never met a person that looks back and says, “Man! We never should have had that other kid.” You take the good, you take the change and you ride the waves that might come your way. I really hope she has another and hope that she will see that all the blessings outweigh the ‘what ifs’.

Jennifer
on July 6th, 2012

Elisa- Go eat a doughnut yourself and bask in your lovely rolls and perfect life.

K.
on July 6th, 2012

Elisa–It’s not selfish to not want another child, whatever the reason. I don’t care if it’s weight gain or maybe the fact her dad died at 31 from a massive heart attack, so maybe she’s afraid of leaving a baby behind–her reasons are her reasons and it’s nobody’s place to judge her. Believe it or not, to some people, some things ARE more important than being a mother. Like living and being there for a child you already have.

She’s 39 now & pregnancy at any age, but especially when you’re older, takes a toll. A potential 50lb. weight gain is a big deal at that age. My mom had 2 kids after 38 and ended up gaining weight with each that she never dropped in her lifetime. That led to high blood pressure (diagnosed immediately after the 2nd kid) and a stroke at 49. The pregnancies also led to hernias, one of which strangulated her intestines and almost killed her. The health problems my mom had with those late pregnancies cut her life short by probably 15 years (my mom is dead now in case you hadn’t guessed) I don’t know why people act like having babies is like nothing. It’s a big deal.

Kate Beckinsale listed a few different reasons for why she would or wouldn’t want a child and I’m imagine has even more reasons she didn’t reveal in an interview with a stranger. That means she’s put a great deal of thought into it, which is more than most people having children do. Leave her alone.

liz
on July 6th, 2012

@ LM, I think Michael Sheen is with Rachel McAdams. I think Beckinsale sounds fine here; you gotta pity the celebs when they speak freely enough to be judged so harshly. You gotta pity us all.

fancypants
on July 6th, 2012

I think it’s weird when women talk about being/feeling old when they’re in their 30s or 40s. That’s not old! 60+ is old. I’m 24 and these are my thoughts, anyhow.

kvaughn75
on July 6th, 2012

I think she’ll regret it if she doesn’t have another child. But they should ask her daughter first how she’d feel being a bigger sister at her age. Middle school is rough enough. She could resent the new baby if they expect her to pitch in and help, and all the attention is on the baby. So that all needs to be out in the open. But I see no reason why they can’t try if Lily’s ok with it. i like Kate, she seems pretty grounded and I like her glass-half-full view on aging.

robby
on July 6th, 2012

What interesting timing – I just read another article on People.com titled ” Len Wiseman Going ‘In and Out’ on Having Another Child “

shel5
on July 6th, 2012

For some reason, I thought she was older than 40 already. She is a beautiful actress and I agree with many of the others. She didn’t say she wasn’t getting pregnant because of the weight. She said she was glad paparazzi wasn’t as bad back then when she was pregnant because as you all see regularly, people get picked apart re: if they lose/don’t lose their baby weight in a short amount of time. Kate did seem to be relieved that her daughter is doing well, despite Kate’s split from her biological dad and going through the death of her father. Hopefully, the real serious discussion about having another child is with her husband because really, our opinions are not the important ones to consider.

Gina
on July 6th, 2012

By far, the most beautiful woman I have seen. Don’t wait too long Kate!

L.B.
on July 6th, 2012

I love her comments, I think it is really refreshing how candid she is. It drives me nuts when people complain about getting older, some people die way too early (like Kate’s father) and I think this has given her a great perspective on not taking things for granted. You get old or you die trying. Her comments about aging say the exact opposite to what some people inferred about her not wanting to have another child due to weight gain, she’s happy with her life now and not wishing for something else be it younger or thinner.

bostgal02
on July 6th, 2012

She is absolutely beautiful, and I love she isn’t 22 to be considered so. she’s in a solid marriage, so hopefully they’ll consider it. Her husband is gorgeous, so it would be one beautiful baby.

Athina
on July 6th, 2012

She’ll soon get used to another baby. Plus she has resources a lot of mothers don’t have. Go ahead. Have another one. If you don’t, you will live forever with the guilt that you didn’t.

Lina
on July 6th, 2012

She is beautiful and I had to laugh at her comment that her 13 year old doesn’t want to hold her hand anymore, I can relate. I had a baby at 38 with my new husband after being a single mom for 9 years because like Kate, I wanted to know what it was like to raise a baby in a stable relationship. I am so glad I did because my son brings us so much joy — but I can totally understand her hesitation not to upset the apple cart. Having a baby at 40 is tough, and its a big commitment when your other kids are almost grown.

heather
on July 6th, 2012

kvaughn75, there is no way it should be the 13 year old’s decision. that is absurd.

yasemina
on July 6th, 2012

I feel sorry for her husband. He has the right to at least one child…I\’m honestly not sure how this marriage has lasted so long with her attitude about having more kids. Then again, I see Kate\’s side. She doesn\’t want her daughter Lily to suffer when the second child becomes the apple of her husband\’s eye. Lily is at that awkward age when acne and puberty start to hit like a freight train and she\’s going to need a lot of support. Kate would definitely have to take her eyes off Lily to focus on the baby. The best thing would have been for Kate to wait until Lily was 18 and up and out before re-marrying. Sad situation for everyone in my opinion. I can only imagine the days of courting when Kate was dating her current hubby in which Lily was left alone with a sitter.

Awwwshucks
on July 6th, 2012

As soon as I read the article I thought Oh,oh I wonder what kind of back-lash Kate Beckinsale is going to get for being honest, insightful and openly indecisive about expanding her family, as so many women place their moral judgment and paternal values on one another when it comes to ‘birth n’ babies’. It seems everyone has an opinion. None of us will provide, nurture, or be responsible for Ms. Beckinsale’s child should she decide to have another one. If she is not certain she feels a maternal instinct ‘strong enough’ to raise another child besides the one she’s already given birth to, that’s her choice.

I am a mother of an ONLY child ( a personal choice, no medical problem) who’s grown-up to be a productive, forthright adult I’m very proud of. I’ve asked my daughter if she’s felt slighted being an ONLY child. She says she’s glad we knew our limits financially and emotionally as she would not have benefited from ‘a possible’ negative outcome had I not been sure of my maternal instincts and caved under pressures to have another child I was not sure I wanted to have. My husband and I knew our financial limitations. We talked it over extensively. I knew my emotional limitations in raising more than one child. We talked that over extensively. You can call it ‘selfish’ if you like – I call it being responsible for yourself and the life of another you chose to bring into the world. I wanted to raise a child to the best of our abilities, so in that process we decided not to have more children and I’ve never regretted the decision.

Its because Ms. Beckinsale allowed us(the general public) the privilege of knowing her thoughts and feelings that were having this discussion. Its none of our business what fulfills Ms. Beckinsale in her life’s journey. I wish her the best in what makes her and her family happy.

Sophia
on July 6th, 2012

As usual, we as women show some of us cannot show a sisterhood for one another..having a baby is a serious decision and the feelings associated with the decision are varied, but we as women should refrain from being judgemental of one another. Sad.

Southern Belle
on July 6th, 2012

Kate, have another baby!!!! You are beautiful and your husband is gorgeous! You have been with this man for 8 years, so don’t wait any longer. Besides, you can get rid of the excess weight. Please don’t let that stop you from having a baby! You will regret it. When Lily is out of the house, you’ll be glad you have another one. I say this from experience. I only had one child and wish I would have had another. I’m too old now….in my fifties!

LC
on July 6th, 2012

That’s not what she’s saying, Elisa. That is just one factor. If you are not absolutely sure you want another child, you probably shouldn’t have one anyway – she is being smart about it and is concerned for how it would affect the family dynamic. The people you should deem “selfish” are the ones who have babies and don’t bother taking care of them after the fact.

Elisa
on July 6th, 2012

she is selfish for not having any more children… at least that’s what’s implied on what she said… what’s really her excuse then? little money to provide enough for the other child? is her health in danger? oh poor she will get fat because she did last time! Didn’t Jennifer Garner said she had issues with weight too? and yet she had 3! they’re both in the SAME industry, and both of them chose to be there, it’s not like they were born into it like many celebrity babies are… if having her daughter is so great then what is the problem in having other children? I think she’s a good actress and is a beautiful woman, so please stop worry about these stuff! besides people nowadays say it’s too hard to have children, because they’re demanding… of course is not easy, I never said it was, but that’s the great thing about being an adul: to get priorities in life… some people put family in first place, some other other put other things like money, career, having a nice body… you may say I’m wrong, but you all know someone who gave up having children for one of the motives I mentioned… isn’t it be selfish?

meghan
on July 6th, 2012

Oh my yasemina! Not a babysitter! He has the right to at least one child? Why? Does he need an heir or something? If he has a problem with not having another kid, that’s his problem to deal with. It’s not her duty to breed if she doesn’t want to.

Elisa, why do people have children? Usually for selfish reasons if you think about it. So don’t act like people who choose not have kids (or more than one) to are selfish and people who have kids are selflessly giving of themselves. Bottom line is, maybe she just doesn’t want more kids. That is her choice. Why would you want a child to be born to a parent who is indifferent to them? That sounds like a worse scenerio to me than selfishness.

@ fancypants – thank you for your comment! When I was in my 20s I didn’t think being in your 30s or 40s was old either! I’m 40 almost 41 and when I hear 20somethings call someone in their 40s old it’s so disheartening!! SoyYour comment really made my day – and gives me hope that there are other 20somethings out there like you! :)

Melissa
on July 6th, 2012

Wow, I feel like I just read some of her diary. How personal!

KO
on July 6th, 2012

Elisa, I think there are two opposite views on this issue. I personally believe bearing a child for any reason is inherently selfish. And I am a mother. To bring into being a helpless creature who has no choice in the matter to eventually labor, ail, and die (in addition to the good things) is selfish. To forgo child bearing is not selfish at all. Yes, one ought to value relationships and family over posessions but that has nothing to do with having/not having/having more children.

afriend
on July 6th, 2012

wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to stop the clock at 39 and live to be 139 years old and have a little boy to make life easier , for me ,,,,,after loosing Lindsey then a Kate who is a mirror image to this Kate then to loose Sally now to have a possiblity of a new Kate, which is much to do about nothing , again in my own life ,life is mad-den-ning So for the famous Kate I say when all are asleep pray to God and ask for wisdom as to what to do

Stella Bella
on July 6th, 2012

Man, people are ready to jump on her with both feet!

It sounds like she knows how to appreciate what she has. Good for her.

Danni
on July 6th, 2012

Why is it selfish to not want more kids? Should she have a kid she doesn’t want just to appease the masses? Not everyone wants kids.

Alexandra
on July 6th, 2012

@kvaughn75 Why would she regret it if she didn’t have a second child? She already has one daughter that she clearly loves and her and her husband have been more than okay with not adding in another child to their family. Nothing wrong with that.

Indira
on July 6th, 2012

Being a sibling isn’t such a big responsibility that it warrants incorporating your child into you reproductive choices. Especially a 13 year old that is well on there way to being an adult. If she’s in a loving strong relationship having a baby should be a great addition. I wonder how Mr. Wiseman feels about not having any children of his own.

ddsfg
on July 6th, 2012

Elisa, just because she has money doesn’t mean she should have another child. Not wanting to have another child is in no way selfish . . . it’s not like there’s a population crisis. In general, most people get purposely pregnant for selfish reasons.

Cat
on July 6th, 2012

So glad that Kate could be honest about her feelings about having another baby. The part that irritates me is that people assumed (were we reading the same article) that it’s because she doesn’t want to gain weight. I don’t recall seeing that. And just because she remarried does not mean she OWES her husband a baby. No one know what their situation is and maybe Len is as happy as Kate with the way things are. And if not that is between them to discuss but no woman should feel she OWES anyone a child.

I would love to see them have a baby because I’m sure that child would be gorgeous but ultimately they are a happy family of three and that is their choice. Thank you Kate for sharing with us and I’m sorry women are not more supportive of eachother. And for those who say who cares…why did you read the story to start with if you don’t care?

Katie
on July 6th, 2012

Maybe we’ll find out soon she’s expecting. Seems when celebs say this stuff they become pregnant which would be nice for her and her family! I bet her daughter would be thrilled!! I say go for it, Kate! Do it before time runs out.

Anonymous
on July 6th, 2012

meghan- I agree! Kate should not have another child simply because her husband wants one (and we don’t know that he does. If I’m remembering correctly, he’s expressed the same laid-back attitude toward having kids in interviews as Kate has). Having a child “for” your spouse rarely works out well.

That being said, if Kate’s considering another baby, then I guess Lily’s calmed down about the possibility about being an big sister. I know a few years back Kate mentioned (albiet it an obviously joking manner) that one of the reasons she was holding off on having more kids back then was because Lily “was threatening to run away from home” if she even considered it. :)

Kris
on July 7th, 2012

I dont get why she even said these things- she is 39 and has been (allegedly) happily married since 2004 and still no child with her husband- you would think she would want to give Lily a sibling. She needs to make her mind up fast-conception after 40 gets even harder and the risk of chromosomal abnormmalties increases. But based on the fact she doesn’t appear to actually want to give birth to any more children, she should really adopt and then atleast Lily won’t be an only child. Time to think of someone other than yourself and your looks Kate.

lovely123
on July 7th, 2012

Not everyone thinks about,”Oh, we have to have another for a brother or sister”. Some people are very happy having one child or none. Not everyone is on the sibling ban-wagon.

Marky
on July 7th, 2012

Not everyone feels the burning need to have more than one child. I have 4 and I will be honest; my sister had one child at the age of 39 and that child really seems to have grown up just fine; not concerned about being an only child; there are cousins and many close friends, as well as a lovely spouse. I had 4 close together and some have turned out very well, but one has real issues that have nothing to do with parenting skills on our part. That child appears to be a life-long responsibility for us, that, in spite of our deep love for that child, is difficult to imagine at times.

No one knows whether their child will be okay or not, they don’t know whether they will be able to adequately meet the needs of a child who has serious issues, and only they can make the decision about how many children they feel as if they can parent to the best of their ability. Children are for a lifetime, and some never really grow up due to issues such as Down’s, fragile X, autism, and many others, not all of which you can be prepared for.

Only the couple can make the decision as to whether or not to have another child, and unless you are taking care of an adult child with any of the many issues which can happen, don’t call someone else selfish for not choosing to risk that, or because they consider that something could happen to themselves, as it has to my husband and myself– he’s in a wheelchair, and I’ve had cancer; or surprise! they only want one child of any kind, and are happy with him or her. Not everyone is upset at not having a biological child, you know.

Sarah K,
on July 7th, 2012

Kate’s talked about this before. From what I recall, Lily likes being an only child and Len is more than happy to have Lily be his only child. He has been in her life since she was really small and she considers her to be her other dad. It sounds like Kate is the one going back and forth on this, which is perfectly natural.

Elisa, what you are saying makes no sense. Not having a child is selfish? That’s some backwards logic. People (usually) have kids because it’s what they want, not what the unborn baby needs. Choosing to have kids is a “selfish” decision (not bad/wrong, but inherently selfish). Instead of impulsively doing what she wants, she’s carefully considering her situation. That is the opposite of selfish.

Catca
on July 7th, 2012

This is a strange article to post on a section that allows comments. Kate is talking about a very personal decision of her and her husband. It’s really not for any of us to judge and post comments about.

Melody
on July 7th, 2012

She never said that weight gain was even a factor in her indecision about having/not having another child.

It is not selfish to choose not to have another child. Having a child, as other commenters have mentioned, is actually the more selfish of the two. By choosing to have a child, you are saying “I am going to bring this small human being into the world because I want the warm and fuzzy feeling of having and raising a child.” The child isn’t asked about it (it can’t be, of course) and instead it happens anyway. Having a child is wonderful, but it is ultimately a decision entrenched in selfish purposes.

She does not owe Len a baby. He may not necessarily mind not having another child. I think I have read articles where it says that he is very close to Lily as a stepfather, so perhaps his fatherhood role is already quite fulfilled.

She is not saying that 30/40 is old but rather criticising those who think it is. She is saying that each year is a gift and that ageing is a process to be embraced, not bemoaned.

Finally, I think some of you need to ramp up your reading comprehension, because some of you have really missed the point here.

Ihavetothrowthisoutthere
on July 8th, 2012

I would like to throw it out there that I was raised as a single child (my parents divorced when I was 2) and I grew up just fine. My mother was a single mom until I was nine and my step-father already had two grown children. Having a sibling was out of the picture (for numerous reasons) and I was never upset about it. It makes me sad to see people saying that her daughter is going to grow up lonely or that she’s selfish for not wanting another child. Having a child is a very personal decision and it’s nothing to take lightly. If she doesn’t want another child, then who are we to judge? I seriously doubt that her and her husband haven’t talked about it and decided what was best for them. We aren’t privy to what goes on behind closed doors. And as for her daughter feeling deprived of a sibling and upset about it- I’m sure she has other children that she’s close to that take on that role. That’s how I was, no siblings, but lots of extended family and friends to run around with. I definitely didn’t want for anything.

@yasemina- as the child of a mother who remarried, how dare you assume that she neglected her child to go on dates with her now husband. I’m sure that he knew from the very beginning that she had a child and that her daughter was not left at home with a sitter while she was dating. While my mother and step-father (who is more of a dad to me that my biological father ever was) were dating, I was still included. I was left with grandma while they went on dates (I didn’t even meet him until my mother was sure that they had a future together, she didn’t want me getting unnecessarily attached) but we did do “family dates”- trips to the zoo, movies, any way for all of us to bond together. I’m sure she was included. There’s no reason that Kate should’ve waited for her daughter to turn 18, children are extremely resourceful at a young age when it comes to change. Marriages are life changing events, but there’s no need for them to “end of the world” emotionally damaging.

Like I said, unless we’re the couple in question, what Kate decides to do with her uterus is NONE of our business. I’m sure that whatever decision gets made will be made with the input of the family and will be well thought out.

Sorry for the rant, guys. I had to get this off my chest from the child’s point of view.

Shannon
on July 8th, 2012

She will have another one when her ex has another one. Until then it’s all good.

Hea
on July 8th, 2012

@ – yasemina – Whaaaat? What century do you live in? Nobody has the right to have a child. It is a privilege to be able to have a child and that is only something that should happen if you want it to.

Marky
on July 8th, 2012

What I’m wondering is this: why is it that other people believe they have a right to tell someone they should have children at all, or have another one? It just is NOT selfish to have no children at all (if that’s your choice), have one or a dozen. It should just be your choice. No matter what choice any celeb makes, people criticize them for being selfish and not wanting to gain weight, or being selfish and overpopulating the world!

DawnMiller
on July 9th, 2012

Does anyone else find the statement‘I’d love to have a baby in the relationship I’m in, and have that experience when the relationship’s really good and exclusive,’ weird? Makes it sound like “As long as we’re not cheating on each other, I think I kid would be a good idea”. She is an idiot.

Lauren
on July 9th, 2012

@LM Michael Sheen is with Rachel McAdams now.

Courtney
on July 10th, 2012

Kate, I have one who will be our only and it’s terrific. In this overpopulated world you are doing the planet, your fellow man, and your existing child a favor by stopping at one. Your only will enjoy your undivided resources, attention, and love. You can’t go wrong having an only, despite the revolting myths that linger about both only children and the parents who choose to parent an only. Study after study shows only children are generally smarter, more well-balanced, confident, and driven than those with siblings yet so many still think you have to ‘give’ your child a playmate and friend for life by way of sibling, or ‘give’ your new husband a child of his own if you’re in a situation like Kate’s. Have another if you truly want another child, not to please someone else because – as a woman – you will be the primary caregiver. A mother should want that second child as much as she longed for the first. Unfortunately, more than half the time the pregnancy is a surprise so that element isn’t part of the landscape. Just because others have multiple children, or children period, doesn’t mean you have to. To each her own. But I’m tossing in my opinion that only children are fantastic and you are no less a family when you are a family of three. In years, this will be the new normal :)