Being 20something- Surviving the quarter life crisis

If you are currently 20something you are invariably a child of the 80’s (go ahead, do the math), which in my opinion already leaves you ill-equipped to deal with what has come to be known as the “quarter life crisis”… Super Mario screwed all of us up royally in my opinion with all those mushrooms and secret dimensions accessed through exposed plumbing.

When one finally gets out of school and onto the path of study/work etc you’re supposed to become an adult and start doing adult type things. Often before you realise it you are pursuing the perfect picture of what you are SUPPOSED to be as painted by your parents, friends and the media. This is where the problem begins…

Because of unrealistic ideals, most of us suffer from what I like to call the “give me more” disease- never satisfied with what we have already and the rate that we are getting it at. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have ambition, but rather that we should as 20somethings shift our focus away from what we think we SHOULD be doing to find out exactly what we ARE doing and what this says about us. Often using this perfect idea of who we should be dating, what we should be drinking and where we should be working as a yardstick to measure success in our lives leads to disappointment. For example if I were to take the views of the media to heart, I would be left feeling that if I was not the mirror image of Jeremy Piven from Entourage, I’d be failing as a 20something male.

Most of you are probably at the stage in your life where you are beginning to find out which friends you really do have things in common with & will continue to see outside of the weekly school/varsity house and digs parties. That friend from school who was always such a legend might not still be so nice to have a drink with now that he’s a mechanic and registered as a known sex offender.

It’s also very likely that if you are 20something you are going to be entering into your first SERIOUS relationship with similar high expectations as in other areas of your life, which is unfortunate especially for us guys. If you are not lucky enough to have your own scriptwriter whispering your next romantic line into your earpiece and a personal special effects guy responsible for letting off a few gratuitous fireworks into the night sky each time that you and your lady of choice embraced- you haven’t got much hope of competing with McDreamy or whoever the current Hollywood heartthrob of choice is at the time. In my opinion it becomes slightly dangerous when we as individuals pursue a relationship that we feel will somehow complete a piece of our perfect picture of life as it SHOULD be.

Coming out of a long term relationship myself I may be slightly cynical of the rush to move in and share the toothpaste with your significant other during a period that you are likely to change the most as a person- what you want from a boyfriend or girlfriend now might be very different to 2 years down the line. It’s extremely important to find out who you are and what is important to you before even thinking about co-habituation. If you ARE currently in a SERIOUS (caps because its serious) relationship, this can be a rewarding experience too provided that above all else you remember to continue developing your own sense of identity while still compromising enough to actually make the relationship work. Its really important to do things without your significant other every now and again as long as those “things” aren’t other people.

Please please please do not ever compare yourself to others or the media, it’s your life and only you should decide how to live it. Take the path less followed if this is what you think will make you the happiest… You are only 20something once- ok ok 9 times if I have to be exact so make most of it.

Here are 3 quick tips that may or may not help you get through the mine-field of the quarter life crisis:

1. Put it on paper– If you are feeling confused or troubled about life put it down on paper or in a blog, haha. By making a list of what you want it might just help you to understand how to get there.
2. Make your own definition of happiness and success– Happiness is not always a bank balance with loads of zeros and a new date for each night. Everyone has different ideas of happiness, get your own.
3. Get going– Is there something/someone you are interested in doing??? Get a move on, time is a wasting and you’ll more than likely regret not following through and enjoying your youth to the maximum one day when you’re old & wrinkled.

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