Monday, December 29, 2008

Tea room tirade

One of the most pernicious lies MSM has been spreading since Barack Hussein Obama eked out an electoral victory through the usual liberal chicanery is that America is no longer a center-right nation. The very idea is preposterous, as only a nation truly secure in its center-rightness would elect a negroid Muslim Marxist to be president, and give congressional majorities to a bunch of baby-killing homosexuals. If you needed further proof of Our Nation's committment to Traditional Values, consider the following:

Officials in Minnesota say that interest in the airport men's room where Senator Larry Craig (R-MN) was arrested for sexual solicitation in June 2007 has finally waned. ...

The restroom briefly became a tourist attraction after news came out that Craig had been arrested and pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct. One fan of the story even attempted to buy the stall for $5000, but according to Hogan, the airport does not "sell fixtures for novelty purposes."

Nothing could possibly prove the center-left fallacy more. If Americans were truly as enthusiastic about the liberals' agenda of raising taxes, negotiating with terrorists, and fornicating in public restrooms, will.i.am would have released a paean to sex in toilet stalls on Youtube, poor Elisabeth Hasselbeck would have been reduced to tears over the new urinal cake-scented potpourri Joy Behar put in her dressing room, and our fellow citizens would still be lining up to take a gander where having a wide stance is a crime. That none of these things have come to pass shows that Americans remain firmly committed to Our President's agenda of tax cuts, deregulation, and shoving glowsticks up enemy combatants' buttholes. Praise Him!

6 Comments:

It would be better to convert the stall in question to a dual purpose crapper and confessional. A kneeler would eliminate the possibility of the wide stance, and a member of the clergy could establish residence in the handicapped stall next door.

The stall could thus be purified, and a way station for weary and troubled travelers established.