So this is genuinely bizarre: Katie Couric and New York police commissioner Ray Kelly are investigating a series of 911 calls placed in the early hours of the morning—Tuesdays at 2 AM—from a number registered to Couric's dead husband Jay Monahan, who passed away of colon cancer in 1998. Because it is highly unlikely that Katie Couric has a ghost husband, no matter how big of a crush you had on Devon Sawa in Casper when you were a kid, Kelly and the NYPD suspect that it's a phone hijack known as spoofing. More like... SPOOKING. Right? Because I'm a professional writer.

Doesn't the Couric/Kelly teamwork sound like the premise of an odd-couple USA show? All they need is a punny title, some B-list actors and a smallish but devoted fanbase. Happy Valentine's day. Ghost husband. [NYDN]

Singing, dancing Wolverine Valjean Hugh Jackman finally (sort of) addresses the gay rumors that have been sticking in his wife Deborra Lee Furness's craw. "Just recently, it bugs her. She goes, ‘It's big. It's everywhere!'" An X-Men producer chimes in: "I have seen him with Deborra since the beginning of their trip to Hollywood, and I've been on five movie sets with him and have never seen him stray, have never seen him eye anyone." Ah, yes, a neutral statement and an overzealous denier friend. That should get rid of all the speculation. [ABC News]

Average blah couple-next-door Javier Bardem
and Penelope Cruz
are "tremendously happy and excited" to announce that they're having their second baby, a little sibling to their 2-year-old Leonardo
, their rep told Hola!
Magazine. The progeny is sure to be boring and average and will definitely not emerge smoldering with enough sex appeal to send the delivery doctor flying across the room. [NYDN
, Parade
]

Liza Minnelli explains the improved quality of Cabaret's new release on Blu-Ray. "The colour's more vibrant, the experience is heightened, glitches were fixed, stuff has been added and frankly I don't know what the hell Blu-ray is!" A+ [Express]

The charming gherkins of One Direction made a Spotify Valentine's Day playlist that includes a Taylor Swift jam. No hard feelings! [The Sun]

Terry "Covered With a Thin Film of Grease and How Are YOU?" Richardson snapped Snoop Lion for Better Homes & Gardens. JK, for Vice. [Vice]

Jenny McCarthy took a break from fucking a tree to succinctly stick up for cousin Melissa McCarthy: she tells movie critic/weight troll Rex Reed to "go to hell." [Us Weekly]

As gritty, mopy supercouple Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson weather the storms of infidelity and distance, Kristen finds that wearing Rob's dirty underwear is a slightly unhygienic bridge over troubled water. [Hollywood Life]

Naomie Harris was proud to be the first black Miss Moneypenny in Skyfall. [Express]

Chrissy Teigen gave John Legend 10 months to marry her or she's peacing. [NYDN]

Alec Baldwin's pregnant wife Gigglemirth Thomas roamed the streets of New York in search of THE PERFECT CHURRO. (That last part is conjecture but how good are churros?) [Us Weekly]

In 2000 Chris Noth and Winona Ryder dated? Who knew? Did you know? Why didn't you tell me? [ET Online]

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West set off a TSA security breach when an airline staffer fan helped them bypass a screening; the plane was held for an additional hour as the two were given a private stop-n-frisk. [NYDN]

Jenna Dewan-Tatum did a spread for Esquire in which she is not wearing many of The Clothings. [NYDN]

Meredith Viera ripped off her Spanx in public and waved it around like a FIERCE WARRIOR. [Page Six]

Kate Upton takes the criticism about her "curves" in stride. [Page Six]

Bruce Willis can change a baby in under seven seconds. (The next Die Hard should be about that.) [Femalefirst.co.uk]

Daryl Hannah was arrested at a protest against an oil pipeline. [NYDN]

Will Ferrell dressed up as a Lakers security guard named "Ted Vagina" and escorted Shaquille O'Neal off the court. [NYDN]

This ridiculous woman Tierra from The Bachelor is engaged to someone other than the bachelor. There's a Twitter account devoted to her eyebrows. Seacrest out. [People]