4 Jan 2013

First, I want to thank everyone who commented or wrote to me over the past few months. I appreciate the notes. You're all dollies. I also apologize for the fact that I basically responded to no one like the ungrateful slob I am. I guess I mostly didn't know what to say.

Perhaps I haven't written back or updated this blog because I didn't want this place to rival the depressing vibe of a departing gate in the Las Vegas airport. Don't get me wrong, my life really isn't that bad (in fact, I'm a lucky person in a million, zillion ways) but I just didn't have it in me to put on a brave, smiling digital face for everyone. It's tiring enough to do that in real life.

I was also worried that if I turned to the ol' blog during this time, I'd use it to vent and lay out some dirty, dirty forklift-foot-level dirty laundry about a certain someone and that would interfere with this whole 'taking the high road' facade I'm trying to keep up.

With the exception of some very recent paper signing and key-handing-overs, I haven't seen Patrick since he moved out in May. Well, that's not quite true. I was out one day and spotted him with his girlfriend downtown. (It is taking a fair bit of willpower not to add adjectives and a different use of nouns to that sentence. *HighRoadHighRoadHighRoadHighRoad...*)

This GIF perfectly demonstrates how that encounter went:

Yep. I hid. It was either that or ... I don't even know. A million savage / glorious / humiliating / underwhelming / regretful things come to mind.

We've essentially only been communicating through very civil e-mails and lawyers. And I'm totally, totally cool with that. I probably should be bothered that I haven't had any real contact with the person I spent eight years with, but ... I'm not. I guess that's what happens when you don't want someone in your life anymore.

Besides the super-fun annihilation of my marriage, the agency I worked at and really enjoyed working at all but closed its doors. Despite having an amazing team that was doing great work, some shit happened behind the scenes that was beyond our control and the bulk of us - including yours truly - wound up without a job. This, as I was paying lawyer fees out my ass and buying Patrick out of the house.

Oh, and just as tragic, I found my first white hair. Not grey. White. Like a fucking piece of dental floss sprouting out of my scalp.

But 2012 wasn't all a shit show. A year never is. You especially realize how small and stupid your complaints are when, sadly, other people in the world and your community have faced truly horrible things that we can't even wrap our heads and hearts around.

So, some of the good stuff that happened included:

I got to see my friends and family at their very, stellar best. I am so tear-jerkingly lucky to have some really solid, wonderful, beautiful people in my corner and in my life. They're basically the best humans on earth. Fact.

I had a job that I really loved (well, most of the time) that gave me the chance to work on cool projects while paying me well enough that I was able to save a bunch of money to ...

... keep my lovelyhome and buy it from Patrick. Part of the buy-out is done which means the deed (and mortgage, hurrah) is transferring solely into my name (maiden name, y'all!) now.

I met some amazing people when I was with the agency, including someone who is now a really good friend. He's happily married (to a woman I'm pleased to also now call my friend) and Brazilian which makes him almost exactly like a gay BFF. I also now know more random facts about Brasil than any Canadian who ever existed and have consumed more Caipirinhas in 2012 than in all my previous years combined. My liver is not amused.

I listened to a fuck-tonne of music, discovered new bands and have basically become one with Tina Turner. I made a playlist of what I've been listening to on repeat if you're interested in hearing what the soundtrack of my life is like (but the song I've been listening to ad nauseam is at the bottom of this post).

I enjoyed some nice walks home and stops in the park during a beautiful summer and even got myself a bicycle. Now if only I had the courage to ride it on streets containing cars.

I obviously have to get my career back on track. Or not. There are days when I seriously consider applying to the neighbourhood grocery store, becoming a checkout girl, and not giving a flying fuck about having career aspirations. And then there are days when I really want to afford HBO again.

I might have an opportunity to take a totally different spin in the 50s Housewife Experiment thing (clearly different, what with that whole lack of being a wife technicality and all. Heh.). I don't want to say too much about it as it might not happen, but it could be pretty funny. Or get me sued. We'll see. (And no, some of you have asked, I had nothing to do with Wives in Beehives. I caught the show, though. It had potential but I was disappointed that the producers decided to take it in the tired 'lady dramz' direction. Boo.).

I'll probably get a dog. (!!!) I've wanted one forever and now that I don't live with someone with allergies, I'm free to make that happen. The idea of this makes me really, really, really happy.

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comments:

What a great way to start my morning. It was so great to see a post on my favorite blog!

I saw the Beehives crap on TLC - what a mess they made of something that could have been really cool. I wish they had consulted with you instead - it would have been so much better than it was! Of that I'm sure.

So glad you are back Jenn, I enjoy your writing immensely - and in the past few months found myself re-reading your Blogs... my all time favorite post - the one about the pantyhose. Your sense of humor never left, and yes, you have taken the high road! Well Done!

Glad to see you back in action. You're a terrific writer, always hilarious and insightful. I'm so sorry about all the setbacks 2012 brought, and I hope 2013 treats you infinitely better. Keep your chin up!

Well said. Of course we are super proud of you (and always have been) and of course you are right to lead us all on that high road with you. Celebrate the progress you are making and know that we will ALWAYS be in your corner!

Oh, and your hair isn't going grey if the strand you found is pure white. Grey is that color when you combine black and white. Pure white is closer to platinum blonde. So, you aren't going grey. You are slowing turning blonde.

When I saw you had written a new post, my heart jumped like it used to when I got an email from a crush. So either I've gone totally gay for you or I need to go see my doctor about my super-high cholesterol.

Whether you're ready to share your life regularly with us or not, we love you and I'm glad you've got people (real people) in your corner.

Also, as a girl sharing her home with two big ass dogs: Yes. Do it. Especially if you can get one with a permanent expression of "You ain't shit" on its face. Hilarious photo opportunities.

I almost gave up on checking your blog for new postings. So glad I didn't, actually! Happy to see you back. You'll be fine, Jen. I promise. I've been through an abortion, divorce, losing a house, brain surgery (all in this exact order) in less than 2 years. Happy to report I'm just fine :)

Yay your finally back!! I actually was going to type another website starting with j in my browser but because your website is bookmarked in my browser it came up directly..and I was like..mmhhhmm the last 100 times or so when I checked if you had written anything there was nothing so I'll probably just be disappointed again but I thought I'd try it anyways :) And then I saw that you had indeed posted something!! Soooooo exciting to have you back!! I'm sorry to hear that 2012 has been such a bad year for you, but you know what that means right? It can only go up! Looking forward to reading your blogs again every week!!

OMG I am so happy you're back!! And thrilled you can keep the house; I actually came back to see decorating photos for inspiration. Also, that is the song I listened to while writing 2 25 page papers in one week. It rocks.

I'VE MISSED YOU! So happy to see a new post, but really bummed about all the the crappiness that's been happening to you. argh. I totally would have hid, too. And the high road has it's good points. Later, when karma bites him on his giant butt, you can smugly say that you took the high road and wish him well. hee hee hee (rubbing hands with glee)I can't wait to see what amazing things 2013 has in store for you. And as delicious as hearing some of the dirty laundry would have been, I have to say that it's really adult of you not to put it out there. Wishing you a glorious 2013 and can't wait to read what happens next. :)

Sooooo glad I didn't delete your blog from my RSS feed (thinking you would not come back to it after everything). Was great to see a little bold "(1)" next to it! Welcome back! Looking forward to your new adventures.

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Who's Smashing The Keyboard?

My name is Jen and I look like that picture at all times. I enjoy appetizers as entrees, fountains choreographed to music and television shows intended for teenage girls. Oh - and I really dislike it when people spell it "Jenn"; it's practically a phobia.