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May 18, 2017

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It came! It finally came! No, not the limited-edition Infowars Beer Bong I ordered… even better - my “Make America Great Again” RompHim finally came in the mail today! Other RompHims just weren’t really giving out the right vibes to people. It’s like, yeah, I have a lot of money and enjoy wearing ridiculously preppy fluorescent-colored onesies, but I’m also a staunch supporter of the Republican Party.

Look, I’m just like everyone else, I put my RompHim on one leg at a time. But with my MAGA RompHim, I’m able to set myself apart from my white, upper-class counterparts by making a political statement. You see, Donald Trump wants to make America great again by giving guys like me the same opportunities as everyone else. The idea that only chicks get to wear rompers is the least American thing I’ve seen since Obama wore that khaki colored suit.What was he thinking!? Anyway, the RompHim is breaking down doors for the marginalized American male in ways I could have never dreamed of.

You’re probably thinking to yourself, “I really want to make a political statement with my RompHim, but ‘Make America Great Again’ is so overplayed.” Have no fear! Other available RompHim slogans include: “James Comey is a GDI”, “Both My Parents are Doctors and All I Got Was This Stupid RompHim”, and “My Other RompHim is Getting Washed by a Soon-To-Be Deported Illegal Immigrant”.

Alright,I’m gonna have to split – the boys at Lambda Alpha are throwin’ a U.S.- RUSSIAN INTERFERENCE themed kegger in the front lawn. Oh, that reminds me…. ATTENTION ANY POTENTIAL FUTURE EMPLOYERS: If any crazy pictures end up on the internet from this rager, I’m totally NOT the dude chugging White Russians from a giant ice luge shaped like Donald Trump’s head.