Friday, September 05, 2008

Canadian Beer Commercials and more of my culture

Labatt's 50 is the best Canadian beer. Thanks to Murray the Canadian Animator for alerting me to these commercials!

There was a show on Friday nights called "Kraft Theatre" This wasn't exactly the same one, but it has what I watched the show for...the recipes.

Kraft wanted you to buy every product they made and glue them together into unGodly combinations. I wish I could find some of the 60s recipes, but wait for the titles of this show to finish and then watch the commercial. The scary part is that Moms would actually make these foods!

Kraft Recipes

Canadian Wrestling on Saturday Mornings

We didn't get Saturday Morning Cartoons until years after they appeared in the United States. Instead we got "Bingo", "Curling" "Bowling For Dollars" and Canadian wrestling which had tons of beloved stars. The meanest wrestlers were a french family called "The Vachon Bros." Maurice "Mad Dog" Vachon was the meanest of the mean and we loved him.

Here was a show about a man who lived in the forest in a barricaded fort, safe from the police with a bunch of kids. The show was boring, weird and Canadian but had a theme song that I can't stop whistling to this day.

This was a show about a German Shepherd that traveled from town to town looking for homes in crisis. He would listen in outside a window while a brutish Canadian Dad was beating his wife and forcing the kids to eat puffed wheat in bags without prizes.

Then he would scamper in and settle everything with drizzling compassionate fangs.

The whole family would learn Canadian values from the dog and then all get along and sleep in the same bed together, a cured and balanced family...because a wet smelly Canadian Dog took them under his dewclaw. The he'd dump his new friends and ride a train to another town and another family in crisis and fix everything up for them.

Joni Mitchell -An Actual Canadian Super Talent and a Real Original

Boy, did she come up with a style. Her songs give me piss willies!

Here's one that'll surely raise your neck hairs:

and here's what we get now...Canada Ruined By Imitating Stupid American Fads

Oh man!! I'm pretty sure Mr Dress Up taught us all how to draw. He's a part of every Canadian's childhood. He was actually American (and a friend of Mr Rodgers), but he adopted Canada after falling in love with it.

And, of course, the Littlest Hobo is in all of our hearts. My sister and I drink and sing its theme -- which always ends in tears.

Growing up in Detroit and being so close to Windsor, I pretty much lived my youth through/and/or was raped by Mr. Dress Up's Casey and Finnegan as well as The Big Friendly Giant. Man, his lute/flute and tiny chairs by the fire still haunt me...

Yay! At the beginning of that first beer commercial we see a clip from a classic Roughriders vs. Roughriders game. Of course, the Ottawa Roughriders have since disbanded with the Ottawa Renegades eventually taking their place. The Saskatchewan Roughriders are still going strong though (Grey Cup winners of 2007 and they haven't lost a game yet this year).

I of course grew up with Mr. Dressup and The Littlest Hobo. I recently caught an old Hobo episode in-which a group of evil world leaders lead by a magician were planning to hijack a Canadian power plant and thereby TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Sadly for them, that little german shepherd spoiled their plans. When one of the evil world leaders saw him and said "we should kill that dog for what he did to us." the magician leader said something like "no, he is a worthy adversary and I respect him. Let him go." It was the best worst piece of brilliant crap I've ever seen.

About Mr. Dressup (Ernie Coombs). I heard that off the set he was a colossal jerk. His show would end with everyone saying good-bye individually. Then finally Ernie would say "...and ME" to which Casey would say "Mr. Dressup" and the credits would roll. Well, one time Casey missed his cue. While the credits rolled Mr. Dressup threw the hugest tantrum ever. I didn't see that however, I just heard about it. Although, before radio personality Peter Gzowski died, Rick Mercer got him to recite a list of people who were "a son of a bitch". Mr. Dressup was on that list.

My favorite thing about Molson beer is that each beer sticker has a different picture on it. One time when I was drunk, I made a collection of all these stupid beer stickers for some reason... I honestly can't explain everything I do, but that's my fondest and only memory of Molson beer.

In Baltimore we have a national beer guy since like the early 1920's he's known as the NANY BO guy. Here's a pic of him below.

http://www.curreri.net/IM205512.gif

and one of the beer factory

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3002/2517576992_b26e75abb6.jpg?v=0

Another weird icon in Baltimore is the Utz chip girl

http://www.eteamz.com/hscpa/images/Utzgirl2.jpg

I can't determine whether the Utz chip girl is actually a girl or not. Also I can't explain why the nany bo guy has one eye, also he kind of looks like the pringles guy. Anyways some person thought these two icons of baltimore were funny and did this campaign in baltimore.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/209/476815966_004719ce68.jpg

I think it could have been done better, but it made a funny point nevertheless.

Sorry for my rambling, but I have been really enjoying all these hilarious canadian things you have been posting on your blog. It's my other source of entertainment this week besides the republican/democratic conventions.

hahaha, Yeah I used to watch Mr. Dressup too. and I caught the live show too.It doesn't surprise me Mr. Dressup was a jerk off camera.. Probably didn't want to do kids shows, just fell into it or something and grew bitter. I think up until now however, I'd never seen him without gray hair.

Kraft and Canada: yet another great Canadian comic voice, cartoonist David Boswell (best known for his Reid Fleming the World's Toughest Milkman) notes the Kraft Dinner as some kind of social compensation among the state's delicate economic balance.

"musta been that Kraft dinner." laments a character when untimely flatulence destroys a romantic encounter.

Hey, how could you talk about Canadian television (especially stuff for kids) and not mention You Can't Do That On Television? That's one the Americans stole. To this day many USian kidlets and former kidlets think that green slime is a "Nickelodeon thing". But nope. Hey, if it weren't for Canadian TV, there probably wouldn't be a Nickelodeon to sell Ren & Stimpy to!

Oh, and I take issue with your characterization of hip-hop as a "stupid American fad". It's at least 30 years old and still going strong, has followers and practictioners from all over the world, and it has its roots in African oral traditions.

And baby Jeebus weeps a little whenever a cracker like that tries to rap -- regardless of nationality.

John - I've read your blog since the beginning and enjoy reading up on all the various subjects you tackle. That said, your recent posts on Canada might be my favorite. I'm obsessed with Canada and the subtle but significant differences your homeland has with the US.

Keep them coming, love it.

I would also like to hear a logical defense of ketchup flavored potato chips at some point.

Haha! Wow. That Canadian Hip hopster sure had a lot to say. Three strong American fads in one: suburban hip hop gangster, Youtube trash, and a pop-politics and conspiracy flunky. Annoying, yet interesting character.

So wait a minute. A rapping douche on youtube represents all modern Canadian T.V.? You have a skewed perception on what makes a valid comparison. Thats like comparing a Hollywood movie to a kindergarten play. Where is Trailer Park Boys? Where's Corner Gas? Where is Little Mosque on the Prairie? Where is The John Dore Television Show? If you are going to make a comparison, Make it Valid.