The Crap We Missed – Monday 5.12.14

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed: Minderaser Edition, where not only did that pic just kick you in the brain, but it’s followed closely by something called Mr Papers about to wipe out the inside of Lil Kim‘s throat with its tongue right in front of gay Jason Bateman. This is the world we live in now. A world where Shakira covers her butt in jeans for performances and Shia LaBeouf still gets away with this type of thing without anyone causing him what would be completely justifiable head trauma.

“Hey, you girls, yeah you. Do you know who we are ? We’re famous.
Famous movie stars… me and him. You wanna go out on a date.
You two and us… both of us ? You can tell your friends you dated a
couple of Hollywood hunks….. Oh, never mind, they’re leaving.”

“Hmm, maybe everyone is right, and I am a tedious punk? Nahh, if that was true, my nana wouldn’t have made me these cool shorts from her drawing room pillowcases! Now, if I could just find my hat . . .”