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I just wanted to say to Vodkafan that I'd gone to another site before coming here too and found it unproductive. Then I found the site you originally went to and saw your post. Glad I saw you post before trying that site because I'd have gotten more of the same. I came here because of the links someone had provided you.

I think that the NRE confuses a lot of peeps too...is it love, lust, newness, whatever? As mentioned in my Intimacy versus Intenseness thread, it is the ENERGY that fuels the intense feelings....and I do think that people mistake this for intimacy. Just a 'deep thought' as a sidenote.
P2

__________________
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. ~ Oscar Wilde

I just wanted to say to Vodkafan that I'd gone to another site before coming here too and found it unproductive. Then I found the site you originally went to and saw your post. Glad I saw you post before trying that site because I'd have gotten more of the same. I came here because of the links someone had provided you.

I think that the NRE confuses a lot of peeps too...is it love, lust, newness, whatever? As mentioned in my Intimacy versus Intenseness thread, it is the ENERGY that fuels the intense feelings....and I do think that people mistake this for intimacy. Just a 'deep thought' as a sidenote.
P2

Very good point. Its the same rush of endorphins one gets when they have exercised too. Its almost like our bodies wake up.

I read a lot on here about NRE. I wonder how long it lasts. It does seem to be responsible for a lot of problems in itself, causing lots of bad new feelings for a mono partner when their partner is in the grip of NRE.

If a poly relationship runs into problems when the NRE starts to run out, does that indicate that the relationship was really just an affair posing as a poly?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magdlyn

I know NRE makes you idealize your love object

Yep. That pedestal falls. But I think it's only at this point, when you see your partner there, wallowing in their flaws, oddities, and quirks (when you see them at their worst), that if you're still compelled to reach for them and whisper, "I love you. I want you in my life," that your relationship is transformed into the stuff "true love" is made of. It may not be terribly romantic, but it's enduring.

Yep. That pedestal falls. But I think it's only at this point, when you see your partner there, wallowing in their flaws, oddities, and quirks (when you see them at their worst), that if you're still compelled to reach for them and whisper, "I love you. I want you in my life," that your relationship is transformed into the stuff "true love" is made of. It may not be terribly romantic, but it's enduring.

There is a thread somewhere, that discusses the potential to be addicted to NRE. While some will argue over whether hopping from NRE to NRE is poly, I don't understand how this is infidelity, unless the poly partners were not aware of each other.

I think a few poly people are indeed addicted to NRE. I still think that it is polyamory if they are open and honest about their involvements with others. It sure isn't cheating or infidelity if everyone is totally informed and also consents.

I think a few poly people are indeed addicted to NRE. I still think that it is polyamory if they are open and honest about their involvements with others. It sure isn't cheating or infidelity if everyone is totally informed and also consents.

I suppose the danger is that the NRE addict might not be aware that they are such?

I`m going to read this thread with interest. Obviously 'we' are in it, but I seem to be experiencing a opposite phenomenon.

With all the talks, and worries over being swept away by NRE, I find I am overly cautious.

Sometimes worrying to much about others feelings, and not enough about my own wants.

The thing that surprised me the most, was my feeling of transparency. Its been difficult for me to wrap my brain around the fact that I feel like everyone can tell by looking at me, how I feel about my new relationship. Not a feeling I am yet comfortable with, as I am usually a fairly private person.