'At the end of this show, Paris Hilton comes out during the song Wish I Was Born In Beverly Hills. She has a little chihuahua, which is actually a hand puppet. The dog rips her throat out and there is blood everywhere. She is on the ground beating the dog as it continues to grab her throat.

'Everyone who sees the show dies laughing because everyone wants to see that dog attack her. The absurdity of it makes it so funny.

'The paparazzi are taking pictures of her as she is bleeding over the audience. They aren't helping her.

'From what I understand, Paris would think it was funny because it is such a caricature of her. We are making fun not of her but of the slice of society she represents.'

We do love that careful "from what I understand" there - how did you come to this 'understanding', Alice? Computer modelling? Testing on animals? Did ou run the sketch past The Dim Socialite Unit at the University of Emotional Reaction in Berne, with perhaps a professor producing a pie chart - "As you can see, Mr. Cooper, coupling Paris' low intellect with her desperate desire to pretend she enjoys being the butt of a joke, there is a 73% chance that Hilton won't object to watching herself be mauled to death. At least in public."