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Strategies for managing people

The secret to getting better results out of others is about managing yourself better – and I realise this works in all aspects of life

A course participant left me this feedback recently after completing the “MANTRA – manage well” course. It is such a perfect summary of what managing people is all about, that I now use it frequently to get across what we cover on the course.

Having coached so many people, from managers, business founders, directors and CEOs, one thing I heard more than anything was the frustration at the challenges they faced managing others. What I noticed over time, was that by working out how to best manage their own time, communication, workload and behaviour, they found managing others so much more straightforward.

This got me thinking that this knowledge needed to be shared, to make life easier (and more enjoyable) for others. I gathered all the observations and learning I had from working with coaching clients and from my own experience of managing people, and designed a course which enables participants to be clear about what works for them and gain an awareness of how this can be used to successfully work with others.

There are many courses in delegation, time management, communication skills, planning, that are all helpful for honing management skills. But I saw that they just scratch the surface. If the individual is feeling overwhelmed, stressed, unclear on aims, unable to prioritise, then no amount of time management tools will help. It’s deeper than that, and yet simpler.

If we can find a way to be clear about what we want to achieve and be authentic and honest in delivering the message, priorities then become clear and engaging others to work with us less of a slog. If we can develop resilience and a positive mentality, the potentially stressful parts of managing become more manageable.

So before you look at how to manager others, ask yourself if there is any way you can improve the way you manage yourself.

….we see them as we are”

So much of my work as a coach comes back to this. When clients struggle to understand the reaction of others, why relationships are difficult, why there might be disagreement at meetings, in teams. It’s so often because we are all seeings things differently.

The assumption that we all interpret things in a similar way is so mistaken. Everything we hear, see, feel is affected by our thoughts, beliefs and values, which in turn have been created over many years of experience. From childhood, learning from peers, adults, parents and teachers to adulthood where we surround ourselves much of the time by people who have similar beliefs, values and opinions to us. We develop a view of the world which is very different to others’.

Our interpretation of events and conversations are so coloured by our own prejudices and bias that we very often will disregard hard facts if they don’t fit in with our own ideas and stories that we unconsciously tell ourselves. Many studies have been carried out proving this; Claudia Cohen showed people a video of a woman speaking to her husband about her day at work. Some were told she was a librarian, others were told she was a waitress. Those who believed she was a waitress remembered facts consistent with her day job, and disregarded those facts that were inconsistent. The same happened for those that understood she was a librarian. This shows us that we choose information that fits in with our expectations and assumptions, to the detriment of other facts that could perhaps be useful in giving us a clearer picture.

If we choose to do something, we can also choose to do something else. We can choose to question our tendency to see things as we are, and start looking a little further.

Through coaching, our perception of the world and of others can be challenged and we can find ways of being more open minded, which in turn opens the door to more opportunity and the possibility of doing things differently. Giving people we might not have previously chosen an opportunity, overcoming our previous prejudice or beliefs has multiple benefits. It is good for you, your work, those around you and the business.

For more information about coaching, email info@catrinmacdonnell.co.uk.

http://catrinmacdonnell.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Catrin_Logo2.png00Catrin Macdonnellhttp://catrinmacdonnell.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Catrin_Logo2.pngCatrin Macdonnell2017-05-03 13:44:142017-05-03 13:45:43"We do not see things as they are....

Of course we’re listening!

But not always to what others are saying to us. We’re very often listening to our own thoughts and just tuning in when a response is needed.

We’ve all experienced conversations, where we are talking and the other person nods or responds with an “uh huh” or “yup” occasionally (but not always in the right place) and their eyes are just not with us. It’s pretty deflating to be talking to someone who’s so wrapped up in their thoughts or whatever they are doing. Especially if it’s a meeting where you’re agreeing to do something or make changes and you leave half heartedly, knowing that what they agreed upon is unlikely to happen. Or worse, if you get on and do what you agreed, they will question it at a later date, claiming to know nothing about it.

I’m not talking about having a conversation with someone who is clearly not listening as they are checking their emails or texts or browsing a news site. Those situations are easy to spot and you know for a fact they’re not tuned in to what you’re saying. The ones that aren’t so clear as so much more of a frustration and challenge. When “the lights are one but there’s no one home”, or when you realise someone is physically present, but not taking in what’s being said, there is little point in continuing. So there goes a wasted conversation or meeting. And it doesn’t make you feel great, either. It shows little regard for you and demonstrates the fact that you and your opinions are not valued.

Or does it?

Have you ever been stressed? Too much to do, not enough time. Staff or colleagues asking constant questions. emails streaming in, meetings scheduled. No time to actually follow up with actions. Perhaps something is going wrong and you’ve got lots on your mind.

Sound familiar?

When all this is going on, are you good at listening to others? I mean really listening. Or does your mind wander off to attend to all the stressful and worrying stuff, meaning that you’re unable to hear anything that’s being said. You’re just willing them to go away so you can get on with all the other things on your long list. It’s not actually that you don’t respect them or don’t value their opinions, it’s just that you can’t focus on what they’re saying because you have other things on your mind.

You will probably agree that such a meeting is not going to be productive.

If you’re in this situation, the first thing to do is ask yourself if you’re going to be able to find a way of focusing on what’s being said. If this is impossible at that moment in time, don’t carry on with the meeting. This is not always possible, so ask yourself what is important at that moment in time. Realise the impact you have on someone if you’re not listening to them. If you’re very busy, agree to a set length of meeting, agree to a clear purpose or aim and make a commitment to being completely present for them for this set time. They deserve that much, surely? (You might find this article on sticking to the AIM useful).

By being clear about how long you’ve got and what exactly you will discuss, and by listening carefully, less time will be wasted and all parties will feel more valued and clearer about what they need to do.

See if you can be more aware about how well you listen to others notice the impact on your time and relationships when you are better tuned in.

If you’d like to know more about how working with a coach can increase self awareness or if you’re interested in training your staff to listen better, get in touch.

Resilience is something that can be learnt

Learning how to be resilient is so important. Whether at work or at home, we face all sorts of challenges that can get us down and make picking ourselves up again difficult. The more techniques we have, the better chance we stand of being able to strengthen ourselves and face the world again.

Stress, conflict, illness, lack of control. Factors that when we’re feeling resilient, don’t cause too much damage. However, if we’re feeling less than, these factors can mean that we start missing work, getting down, losing direction. Being able to call on techniques to build resilience mean that we can take the knocks and get back up again.

So many workplaces face problems with absenteeism and stress as we get so busy. Increasing numbers find it a challenge to manage the everyday knocks. We start getting upset at the little things, experience difficulty with relationships and start feeling that we just can’t cope. By spending some time learning about resilience techniques, we can find the inner strength to not let the small things get at us, and find ways of handling the bigger things with a healthier perspective.

I studied resilience techniques with the College of Wellbeing and am now a certified Resilience Practitioner. I have designed courses on resilience as well as included resilience techniques in my Managing Mantra course for confident managers. Everyone I work with as a coach and trainer, find that learning resilience techniques, and then putting them in to practise, is one of the most valuable aspects of coaching. Once they are able to put these techniques into practise regularly, they find they can go on and share with colleagues, so that working together becomes so much more pleasurable and productive.

If you’d like to chat about coaching and training in resilience techniques, please get in touch.