Oks, well, I've had some bad news and thought I would post on here for advice on alternative therapies.

I've had a look through the existing threads (nice search system Malcolm!!) but didn't find what I was looking for, so I hope this is ok.

So then...

Just over a month ago my mother turned yellow. It was two days before my parents were due to go on holiday, and instead she ended up in hospital.

They discovered it was a blockage near her bile duct, and after sticking a camera down her throat, found out she had a tumour on her pancreas.

She was eventually sent home for a few weeks to recuperate, then brought back in for an operation last Friday.

We discovered then that the tumour on her pancreas is too big - 6 cms - to operate on, and parts of it have spread to nearby glands.

The prognosis isn't good. They've told her between 6 months and a year, but any reseach I've done shows people with pancreatic cancer lasting between 4 - 6 months.

Our family is coping well, considering, so far.

(Personally, I feel like I'm constantly going to cry.I try not to think about her leaving us as much as possible. My mother is the strongest person in the world... She is kind and lovely and despite having pissed me off often, has done a splendid job and has had a splendid life (she's travelled all over the place - took a boat to Australia from Ireland 40 years ago to work as a nanny on a cattle ranch!! She came home, by boat, via NZ, Fiji and the Panama Canal - in a time when tourism wasn't Lonely Planet travel-by-numbers).

At the minute, I'm coping. I'm finding myself running about my parent's house 'doing stuff' for them while also trying to keep a performance business afloat. That's been a barrel of laughs in itself... anyone setting up a business in the arts - prepare yourself now for the bitchiness, competition, jealousy and lack of support.

Jesus... that was a bitter and twisted rant... humblest apologies for that...

Anyways... I have posted this for a reason

The doctors are still deciding whether mum should have chemo. None of us are very happy with that idea... don't want her last few months to be spent throwing up.

She's got a very strong Christian faith, which keeps her bouncing through each day (lol, and she keeps emotionally blackmailing me to convert!!! Lol... I've told her it won't happen, but thanks anyway )

But I want info on alternative therapies... things that might reduce it, or just prolong her life for a bit. Does anyone here have any advice on where I could look?

I know not to accept intershnet advice as gospel, but it's good to get a guideline - or a point in the right direction.

Posted:29th May 2007I haven't had the chance to read this whole thread through in its entirety yet, it has suddenly taken a much more personal twist.

On thursday we found out that my mother had inoperable cancer. They are estimating at 9 months. Clare, your posts echo what keeps running through my mind, its comforting to know that you aren't alone and that people can bond together to make us all stronger. Topics like this show the true integrity of the people on this forum that I have yet to see matched anywhere else on the web. I never expected to find solace for a topic like this on hop.

Posted:29th May 2007Indeed, Clare, if your mum says that she is happy for you to visit less often, it is loving to listen to her. When people are very sick, they do sometimes find that time on their own, being able to 'zone out' to some extent is what they want. As well as company at other times of course! And as they LOVE their children, seeing their children thriving and well is the best comfort they can have.

So from over here we wish you an immensity of thriving and wellness! And your mum, all peace and comfort...

Much as I miss you all very much, I think visits and things like that should wait for a wee while (so there is time to save!!)

I don't want to be doing anything that takes me away from visiting mum at the minute... just do what I have to for work, then be round there.

I wasn't planning on being a distraction to you visiting your mum, you silly ninny . I was kind of hoping I could do all the day to day stuff for you to free you up to have more time to do the things you need to.

I understand totally that you might prefer to not have visitors around right now though. Remember the offer always stands and just call when you need us.

Jon and I hold you very close to our hearts and think of you all the time... yes to be honest most of Jon's thoughts about you are a bit naughty , but we do talk about you a lot and send you lots of positive vibes.

We are always here... remember to shout when you need us.

Basstones, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum too. I hope she is not in pain. Remember you have friends that want to help and support you. Don't be afraid to let them. Ask for help when you need it. That's what friendship is all about

Posted:30th May 2007Clare, reading through this thread is an eye opening experience in so many ways. You are truly on a journey and the strength you have shown along the way is phenomenal. I am only starting on my path now but my support is with you the whole way.

I have been blown away by how experiences like this can bring people together though. It really is incredible how many people are out there for you when you need it. Prior to my last post I had only told a relatively few friends, every single one of them had done more for me than I ever could have imagined. Yet the people who were complete strangers to me have shown such love,caring, compassion and support that have bounced my spirits so much. The feeling that someone on the other side of the world who you have never met nor spoken to has taken the time to give you support is overwhelming. Its a shame it can take the bad to show the best of people but the things you can see as a result are a great sign for humanity

Sorry if that went a bit off-topic but this experience has really made me appreciate just how amazing and special everyone really is.

Many people here have been through or are going though experiences close to yours.This thread enables people to open up and connect with each other in ways that's sometimes hard with people that are close to you.

Claire has been through a hard journey here, she's shared both good and bad times, but it means that she's not totally bottling everything up inside (which is easily done).

It hard for carers as they are trying to stay strong for the sake of others - often putting their own emotions to one side. This thread is a safe place to let everything spill out, let others care for you for once.

HOP really is a huge family

Love and respect to all

Lisaxx

A kiss blown is a kiss wasted, the only kind of kiss is a kiss tasted.

I'm a woman. We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to be pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating and not just a LITTLE bit scary.

I could probably witter on for hours about my fragile emotional state... but it's even boring me at this stage.

To say it's 'not good' isn't really news to anyone.

As for mum and dad... she continues to get slower, and is having good days and bad (yesterday was good, today is shaky). She's still in good spirits, though.

He is still being great.. and is finally taking time to himself by doing the garden. He does seem exhausted, though.

Instead... I thought I'd point out some of the amusing physical things that have happened to me on the journey...

These are all a result of being run down, sad and not really looking after myself as well as possible...

* Hair loss... goddamit, my hair is falling out. It's become really thin and even more fuzzy than usual! My hairdresser says it's due to stress and a bad diet. I'm taking vitamins

* Spots in strange places... Probably due to 'stress' and bad diet too. I don't often get spots, but I have some itchy ones on my shoulders and occasional lurkers around my mouth. They're not really spots though... more like kindof red lumps. Urgh.

* Dry lips... I always get this anyways, but it's through not drinking enough water or looking after myself.

* Sore shoulders... I'm guessing through keeping tension in my shoulders. If I was more disciplined, I'd stretch every night, but I'm not, so instead I have sore shoulders.

* Brittle nails... as with dry lips and thining hair.

* Losing weight... I'm still eating something, so not really sure how this is happening.

* Physical symptoms of exhaustion (bags under eyes, general paleness)... because I'm not sleeping properly, or crying myself to sleep which leads to a restless sleep.

Hmmm... when you stand back and look at it with a bit of perspective and distance, it's interesting to think of the effect the mind and heart can have on the body...

Posted:1st Jun 2007But seriously Clare, all those symptoms go with extreme stress. Take the time for yourself like everyone keeps telling you. Walk around with a water bottle if nothing else - that's pretty easy (can you drink the tap water in your neck of the woods like we can here?? if so, should be easy to refill it as you walk past the tap).

I could go on but you've heard it all before! It's time for you to start touching your nose instead of just trying to do it...

It's such a versatile and helpful item, it should be called "black gold"! You can use it to zesty up soup's or casseroles, but of course it's at it's best when mixed with approx equal parts marg/butter & spread on toast. If that's burnt slime, then I better start bottling and selling slime before someone else twigs to it!

Now if you'd said "Vegemite is burnt slime" well THEN I might have understood...