We have three amazing objects to look at this week. The first is one of those treasures that enables me to understand why wealthy collectors commission thefts from museums. If I had the means and lacked the morals, I might be tempted. To have this treasure and enjoy it--who cares if you can't show it to anyone else? That is what true collecting is all about. So what is the gem that might drag me off my moral cliff? Well it is a teeny tortoise in the Victoria and Albert Museum.

(c) Victoria & Albert Museum, London

The tortoise that is the winner of this week's Wondrous Award serves as a flask. The head removes because it is the stopper. The tortoise is just shy of 6" long and the enamel colors are simply delicious. I know of no other tortoise. John Wood's order book for 9 July 1785 records the sale of "16 Tortoises & pairs." These may have been color-glazed rather than enameled, but the point is that the molds existed. I wonder what the "& pairs" looked like.

The tortoise was given to the V& A in the 1800s by Lady Schreiber. So sad to think that it has not been loved by a collector since. But I applaud the V&A for sharing its treasures on the Internet. Yay! If I ruled the world, I would require all museums to either share their collections on the Internet or release them onto the market. That being said, I know building digital records takes money, and I remain ever grateful to museums that simply allow me to visit and photograph their treasures to share with you. As for those that want a fee for access...well, don't get me started on that!

While the tortoise is the winner of the Wondrous Award this week, the Weird Award goes to this watch stand.

(C) Bearnes Hampton and Littlewood.

This watchstand is coming up at Bearne's shortly. It is 12" tall and a figure group of Romulus and Remus sits atop. The top section looks like a lid but it does not remove. Instead, the whole object is open from beneath. Interestingly, the opposite side is made with a watch in the opening. Someone went to a lot of trouble to make the back every bit as decorative as the front. The only problem is that if you turn the watch stand around, you have the reverse view of Romulus and Remus. This could have been rectified if only the top did indeed detach, but alas no. Anyway, I do think this is a weirdly impressive object. Unlike the tortoise, it is not unique but it is rare as I have seen only two others, both in private collections.

I am not quite sure what to call the award for the third object, but it too is remarkable in its own way. This has to be the very, very worst idea for a reproduction ever. Two pigs. Doing what? I prefer not to think. Yes, your eyes do not deceive you! I am not sure 'reproduction' is the correct word, because our potters did not make anything resembling this cozy couple. One of these objects is currently on eBay described as an "Early Staffordshire Figure of Two Pigs" and "This is a very charming Staffordshire group of two pigs in very good condition. There is no damage of any kind and the colours are most beautiful as are the pigs. Any one that wins them will fall in love with them." My friend Stephen Smith and I agree that this has to be amongst the worst reproductions of all time. Definitely worthy of an award, but as to its title....words simply fail me.

On another note:

You can't have enough reference books. I often buy fairly obscure books or too-costly books, but each has proved invaluable. In short, I have never regretted a purchase. The very best source for reference books is Reference Works in the UK. Wherever in the world you live, Barry Lamb will get your book to you. Barry could not be more well informed or helpful. And the on-line store is fun to browse.