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First, you probably go to work each day, wondering what the heck your job actually is because your department sorta sounds made up as if it's some sort of slush fund for other departments or VIPs. But let's get past that for now.

You're nearing the end of the year and you've got quite a bit of money left in your entertainment (or wellness) account. You know that if you finish up the year without having spent it, it's not going to look good and you might lose that money next year.

You also know that you've got some employees -- say, about 40 -- that you'd like to reward for their good work in unifying communication (or whatever the heck it is that they do).

So what's one way a city official could decide to spend $900 of the taxpayer's money?

Massages. Yes, massages.

D.C. recently paid for $900 of massages for about 40 employees, reports the Examiner. They were given as a reward for good work, and Mayor Fenty's spokesman, while calling the expense inappropriate, said that the "purchases were part of OUC's Employee Appreciation and Wellness Program activities."

Depending on the type of massage, that could be one heck of an "appreciation." The manager who signed off on the massages, no doubt, is not receiving a happy ending today.