Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag did an extensive interview with Vice’s Broadly (don’t believe me? writer Mitchell Sunderland spent five months with the couple. FIVE MONTHS. The dude deserves everything and the world), and in the article, of course Pratt and Montag come off like total imbeciles. But who knew it would be this bad? Okay, maybe most of us. But I still get like, UNCOMFORTABLE when I read interviews with these two.

“[The Hills getting canceled] was our 9/11,” Pratt said. After the couple spent years on TV presenting themselves as villains and getting paid millions for photo ops, fan interest eventually moved to MTV’s The Jersey Shore, and the couple decided to move to Costa Rica.

According to Broadly, the pair — who married in 2009 — assumed they could afford a house there, but found after arriving that the market was too expensive. So they lived at the Ritz-Carlton for six months, where they spent the very last penny of their once sizable fortune.

The couple — known collectively as Speidi — now stay out of the spotlight and live in Pratt’s father’s vacation home outside of Santa Barbara, California. When they first moved in, Pratt explained they installed an intense security system.

“Nobody wants to break into our home anymore,” Pratt laments. “They google our new worth and see we are worth $10.”

That said, the duo don’t have any regrets.

“The biggest misconception about us,” Montag added, “is that we wouldn’t do it all over again.”

Um, hate to break it to you Spencer, I don’t think anyone thinks you wouldn’t do it the same way again. It’s the only way you know HOW to do things- hamfistedly, with little thought to others or anything but your own selfish, blundering gain. We all kinda knew this would happen. And now, I’m sorry to say, they’re a depressing footnote on the late aughts.