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Kumail Nanjiani, Actor & Comedian

Kumail Nanjiani can squeeze laughter out of anything from start-up culture in HBO’s “Silicon Valley,” to his future wife’s coma — the true story that inspired “The Big Sick,” one of the standout films of 2017. But behind the laughs, he also has a sharp take on gender and race in America.

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Kumail Nanjiani

Actor & Comedian

Kumail Nanjiani can squeeze laughter out of anything from start-up culture in HBO’s “Silicon Valley,” to his future wife’s coma — the true story that inspired “The Big Sick,” one of the standout films of 2017. But behind the laughs, he also has a sharp take on gender and race in America.

Why he’s a MAKER: He listens to women. He respects women. He’ll never be the guy who says women aren’t as funny as men. He gets how challenging it is for women to break into comedy’s bro culture and he’s worked with is wife Emily V. Gordon to create inclusive comedy shows and “The Big Sick.” Also, seeing him gush about Emily’s talents is totally adorable.

From Pakistan to America: Nanjiani decided to come to America for his college years. It wasn’t the easiest transition. “I was super shy in Karachi, I never felt confident in myself. It wasn’t until I came to America, and was on my own and was forced to interact with people that I started coming out of my shell and being funny.”

Comedy Culture: After college, Nanjiani moved to Comedy’s capital city. “I think of how scary it was for me starting comedy in Chicago. And then how much scarier it would have been if I’d been a woman because it really was such a boys’ club, and it was very aggressive, it was very locker room.”

Husband-Wife Team: Nanjiani started writing the script for “The Big Sick” on his own. Then he gave it to his wife Emily to review. “Her notes weren’t just notes. It was another perspective. And I was like, ‘Oh, this is not my story, this is our story.’ She’s such a great writer and her perspective as a woman completely changed the movie.”

Equality and Quality: Nanjiani wants more women in comedy for two reasons. “Here’s the big thing—having more women writers, more women directors, more women executives, more women in positions in power, you don’t just do that to make an equal society, you do that because the product will be better.”

KUMAIL NANJIANI: I think the most important thing that we could do right now is to listen to women. We've been talking for fucking centuries. I think it's time for us to shut up and listen.

I grew up in Karachi, Pakistan. Pretty typical family. Mom, dad, and one brother. I watched a lot of Indian movies as a kid, Bollywood movies, but also a lot of Hollywood movies, a lot of them. I really loved "Ghostbusters", and I was like, that's a pretty good job if you can get it, saving New York from ghosts.

The transition was very difficult initially. I was super shy in Karachi, so I never really felt confident in myself or anything. And it wasn't until I came to America and was sort of on my own, and was forced to interact with people and be genuinely social, that I started coming out of my shell and being funny and kind of feeling like a person.

I mean, the hardest part of doing standup is going up on stage. It's so, so scary in the beginning. I remember I'd go and sign up for these open mics and then kind of, before I went up, be like, should I just leave? I should just leave.

You know, when I was younger, I had this list of, like, the perfect woman will have these qualities. And then you grow up and you realize that stuff doesn't matter. What matters is a real connection and all of that. And then with Emily, got the real connection, but also all that stuff that was on shallow teenage Jumail's list. She has that too. So really kind of perfect.

We found this place perfect for a comedy show behind this comic book store called The Meltdown. We kind of hit the ground running. Like the first show we did, I think we had 30 or 40 people there, which is huge. Then eventually we sold out every single week.

I think of how scary it was for me starting comedy in Chicago, and then how much scarier it would have been if I was a woman starting comedy there because it really was such a boys club. And it was very aggressive. It was very locker room.

We wanted Meltdown to feel very inclusive. Emily focused on having a diverse lineup. She wanted to have different points of view on the show, and she wanted to have a lot of female comics on the show, too. We wanted it to be a good comedy show, but also a good place to just hang out for comedians, and that's sort of what it became.

At no point did it feel like here's the big break, because it went from doing standup with these people to then writing for a show, then to being on a small show in a small part, then having a small part in a slightly bigger show. I was lucky that I was ready for each little step. And it wasn't until I went back and looked, and I was like, oh, I guess that show was kind of a big deal.

The movie is called "The Big Sick", and it's based on the real life experience that Emily and I had when we were first dating, and she got really sick and went into a coma for eight days.

Hi, I'm looking for Emily Gardner.

- She's checked in. We need to put her in a medically induced coma.

KUMAIL NANJIANI: Coma.

It's sort of a love story about these two characters meeting, but it's centered on that chunk of time at the hospital. And it's a comedy.

Her notes weren't just notes. It was like another perspective on the whole thing. And I was like, oh, this is not my story, this is our story. I think it would be a very incomplete story if Emily wasn't writing this movie. Her perspective as a woman completely changed the movie.

There's a scene in the movie where Emily and I are first dating and she has to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. And so she's trying to leave to go to a diner nearby to use the bathroom.

EMILY GARDNER: You're being so weird.

KUMAIL NANJIANI: How am I weird? I want to sleep while it's sleep time.

EMILY GARDNER: This is normal. Girls go to get coffee in the middle of the night. Have you never had a girlfriend before? This is what it's like.

KUMAIL NANJIANI: Are you OK?

We've had so many women point out that scene, like, all the time, being like, oh my god, that exactly is what happened to me. I've never seen that in a movie.

Even though rom coms are generally seen as targeted towards females, most of them are still from the guy's perspective. It's a bunch of dudes trying to guess what a woman would do. Well, then get a few women writers in there.

Here's the big thing. Having more women writers, more women directors, more women executives, more women in positions of power, you don't just do that to make a more equal society. You do that because the product will be better.

KUMAIL NANJIANI: Be yourself. Understand yourself and what it is about you that makes you different or unique or special, and be aware of that.

Especially kids coming into this business. It's a very, very difficult business, and a lot of it is dependent on other people's approval, unfortunately.

And so I think what you have to do is understand your self-worth and focus on it, and believe in yourself, and know that what you have is worth pursuing.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KUMAIL NANJIANI: Yeah, I think wherever you're raised you're sort of fed these ideas about how boys should be and how girls should be.

I remember when I was a teenager trying to learn how to walk like a man, I remember practicing and being like, I have to figure out how to walk, because I can't just walk. I have to walk like a man.

In my head, it was like, walk with the minimal amount of flair. You just have to like, get from one place to the other. That's how men walk.

You don't realize how much of that comes from messaging you've gotten from TV shows and movies and just the people around you and just the way that society is set up and all of that.

It's a little surprising, you know, when you sort of start thinking about this stuff and you realize how insidious. It can be.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KUMAIL NANJIANI: There's so many, like, TV writer's rooms, where it's just a bunch of dudes trying to guess what a woman would do. Well, then get a few women writers in there. It's so helpful. I told Emily, I was like, I think you have a superpower in this industry, in that you can write complicated, realistic, funny female characters. I mean, that's like a superpower.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KUMAIL NANJIANI: The hardest part of doing stand-up is going up on stage. It's so, so scary in the beginning. I remember I'd go and sign up for these open mics and then kind of-- before I went up-- be like, should I just leave? I should just leave. I should just leave.

And it's very intimidating, you know? Entering stand-up's very, very scary because there's a click already of all the people who know each other-- mostly dudes-- and they're all friends, and they all know each other. And so you really have to win over this group.

And I think that's pretty similar probably in every stand-up scene. When you go up, you kind of have to win over every crowd from zero.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KUMAIL NANJIANI: Obviously, there are certain things that have happened in our industry that have come to light, that are very obvious bad things. But this is stuff that had been happening, that hadn't been talked about. Now it's being talked about. And these conversations are difficult, but I hope that it leads us ultimately, to a place where people are more aware of what they're doing and more cognizant of other people.

So I hope these are growing pains. That this leads to some sort of breakthrough.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KUMAIL NANJIANI: Seeing social media through Emily's eyes, right? How different it is for her than it is for me.

We had a podcast about video games, which is considered traditionally a nerdy guy's realm, right? And there's this sense that geek girls have to justify their fan-- have to defend and have to prove that they're legit.

If Emily misspeaks, she hears about it on Twitter. If I misspeak, Emily hears about it on Twitter. If she says something wrong, people will correct her. Like, "Um, actually--" and if I say something wrong, people will remember it as Emily having said something wrong, and they would correct her. So she'd be like, I didn't say that. Kumail said that.

It was so mind-blowing to me. The stuff the women have to deal with constantly, all day, every day. It's-- it's overwhelming and it's like heroic to have to put up with this stuff. Sucks.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KUMAIL NANJIANI: I don't think it's my job to represent my people well. I think it's my job to represent my people as being complicated and as being people.

And I think that's the only way that we can have this massive population feel represented. There's no one story that can do the job of encapsulating a-- such a width of experience.

That's what our job is-- is to portray the complications. Not try and smooth them over for some sort of perceived societal good.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KUMAIL NANJIANI: I've just noticed a lot more ways in which women are discounted in this industry, you know?

Like Emily and I will play this game. If we have a meeting or we're working on something, she'll say an idea. It won't get a reaction. I'll repeat what she said. It will get a positive reaction.

So there are just a lot of different quiet ways in which I feel like women are treated unfairly in our business, and if I had to guess, I would guess in every business.

I think women get interrupted more. I think women get talked over more. I think women get shouted down more.

But I think we're sort of taught to be a certain way, and it's very hard to put a magnifying glass on yourself and understand the ways in which you perpetuate the problem.