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You haven't "driven" H to drink - that was her own choices to make.
Your son, well that's just rude tbh.
TBH your illness will have affected them, the same as mine and Marc's have affected our kids, but that's no excuse for rudeness or not helping or to drink excessively...

The fact you need more magnets should say something to you?

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,Courage to change the things I can,And wisdom to know the difference.