This in from Kingsport, Tennessee: A senior VP at Eastman Chemical
Company worries that there are not enough skilled workers to
replace a looming wave of retirees. Similar sentiments have been
expressed elsewhere in the US, and across Western Europe.

And this, from Brighton, England:
The Vice-Chancellor, or VC, at the University of Sussex has announced
a plan to axe most of the chemistry faculty, and cease their
world-renowned chemistry program. Similar actions have already
been taken at the University of Exeter and in Wales at Swansea.

In response to these facts,
a logical question might be "What's wrong with this picture?"
But that's too cliché for me. My question is "Where's
Waldo?"

Credit: morgefile.com

Waldo, it seems, doesn't like
hunkering down with his thermodynamics or multivariate calculus
textbooks. Too many equations and graphs, not enough colorful
pictures.

After all, he doesn't want
to be a "research scientist". He just wants to get
a high-tech job that pays well - like the guys on CSI: Miami.
They have all this cool technology to solve cases. You
never see them solving equations. That's what computers
are for.

So where is Waldo? Is
he among the hooligans who are rampaging before, during, and
after UEFA soccer matches? Has anyone seen him since he took
a month off from classes to deal with a bout of March Madness?

Perhaps Waldo is into Schadenfreude,
and was among the swollen gallery at the House of Commons Science
and Technology Committee's meeting, which was held on March 27
in London. They were holding hearings on the proposed closure,
and the Head of the Chemistry Department was to appear, along
with the VC at Sussex.

They really know how to dish
it out in British Parliament. It's sort of like The Daily
Show, but with lots of Jon Stewarts and Stephen Colberts
trying to skewer each other - Hear, hear!

If Waldo was hoping to watch
the Head of Chemistry get a tongue-lashing, he would have been
sorely disappointed. Quite the opposite happened, as can be read
in the transcript
of public evidence taken by the House, which comes up with
a Google search of the phrase "Save
Chemistry at Sussex."

The Badger, which is the Sussex Student Union's
newspaper, reported some other facts about Chemistry at Sussex
that might have escaped the VC's attention. For instance, Chemistry
generates over half of the university's patent income, and the
faculty brings in more than 1 million pounds per year (which
is almost $2 million) in "third stream income." I don't
know exactly what "third stream income" is, but the
VC should; Alasdair Smith is also a Professor of Economics.

On the face of it, it might
seem that this is just another case of Economics justifying its
nickname - the dismal science. Again, that would be too cliché.
For me, as well as for many worldwide observers who have voiced
their opinions, there are deeper implications: a divergence between
what a university is for, and how a university is managed.

Traditionally, universities
exist to create and share knowledge. They also, increasingly,
play public service roles, such as hosting regional Science Olympiads
or providing a venue for traveling art exhibits. Training students
so that they will secure a particular job when they graduate
is not a traditional role of a university. That is what big-time
political campaign contributions are for - and you can get a
heckuva job that way.

Yes, a university education
is essential for many professions, such as medicine, chemistry,
or medicinal chemistry. But since ever fewer people's lives are
occupied by a single profession, a university must provide a
universal education. To this end, healthy programs in all of
the unhyphenated core branches of knowledge should exist.

I see the VC's job as making
sure that all of these programs excite and embrace the scholarly
Waldos and Wandas who have a hungering for any of the many varieties
of apples that can grow on any primary branch.

Chemistry is universally regarded
as "the central science." So having a college of basic
and/or applied sciences without a chemistry department is like
having a college of liberal arts without an art department. It
wouldn't make any sense, economically or pedagogically.

It is never too cliché
to say that a university is a marketplace of ideas. My market
prediction is that, during the next academic year at Sussex,
the question that will be on everyone's mind is "Where's
Alasdair?"

Preston MacDougall
is a chemistry professor at Middle Tennessee State University.
His "Chemical Eye" commentaries are featured in the
Arts and Public Affairs portion of the Nashville/Murfreesboro
NPR station WMOT (www.wmot.org).