Angry Business Man

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Assuming that they’re trying to draw a parallel to Angry Birds, the title Angry Business Man is a bit misleading. Angry Business Man isn’t a physics puzzler– it’s an endless running game. But even calling it that is a stretch, because there’s nothing endless about it. In fact, every time you give it a shot, it will probably end very, very quickly.

But first let’s accentuate the positive: the game looks great. It takes place in a stylized shadow world that seems inspired by Mad Men’s title sequence. At the start of each run, an unlucky business man misses his bus and must sprint to catch it, or to get to work, or to do whatever it is characters in endless running games hope to do. But good looks are about the only thing going for this game.

Watch your step.

The rest of the experience is all questionable controls and teeth-grinding frustration. After the bus takes off without our hero, the screen moves forward at automatically at a set pace, which is somewhere in between how fast and how slow the angry business man (ABM) can run. Your job is to use tilt to control his speed so that he stays on the screen as it moves forward. The difficulty comes in when the ground starts to rise and fall and curl around, shaping itself into all manner of impossible formations.

And, really, it might be fun if the controls responded how you would expect them to. But they don’t. They’re horrible. Miscalculating a tilt will send the ABM careening off the screen, with no time to speed up or slow down. And since it’s all you can do to keep ABM on the screen, when they start throwing traffic cones in your path, you’re pretty much guaranteed to trip over them and end your run.

The final nail in the coffin is that the game has no leaderboards. Your high scores, no matter how impressive, are trapped on your device, viewable only by you and people nearby. Angry Business Man has style, but unless they smooth out the controls and add some much-needed leaderboards, stay away. Stay far, far away.

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