I hope you enjoy your stay. While you’re here, make sure to enjoy the whole host of cartoon characters. From yuppie alimony attorneys, to hungover coroners, to all chick noisewave bands (they play the local sewers!), Doom Asylum kicks you in the crotch, spits in your mouth, and then tickles you and takes your laughing as affirmation of enjoyment. Never mind the steady stream of sadness pooling at your feet.

Wanna date? Looking for some action? Need some company? Got any money?