My name is She who,
walks with animals
and talks like a hyena laughing-
non stop fast paced flutter.

My other name is Girl Trapped beneath mirror.
She seems backwards and semi-self-conscious
this shadow like a plus size diva.

My secret name is spoken best in
murmurs and whispers
as I make it up as I go along,
flying by the seat of my pants.

My last name is merely Poet.
A common and often forgotten word,
once it carried so much weight
but now its barely to be heard…Poet,Poet,Poet

She who walks with animals, and Girl Trapped beneath mirror
are both one and the same, then there lies a secret name always changing and evolving never to remind the same
my last name is common enough, Poet. There that is everything about me you will ever need to know,
oh that plus the small imperfect fact that sometimes , some days, I am nearly insane.

Before shot, to the left. Lucky for me, I have a niece who went to Paul Mitchel beauty school. She takes care of my mop. I give her small pieces of art in return, since I am not working, as of yet. Book sales are also very slow.I’m still looking for a job in my field, but it has yet to manifest.

Some women, chart their cycles religiously, take their basal temps each and every-day, using ovulation predictor kits, or invest in high cost treatments like IVF. I cannot afford things like ovulation kits or IVF treatments, or alternative therapies.

I can barely afford the one thing I’ve got:

a thing called Hope.

That’s all i got, and sometimes it does not feel enough,

as if, i am just mere inches away, from touching the sky.

Last month, pain was horrible. I wound up in the ER and diagnosed with 2 cm Ovarian cyst.

This month not only my mind, but my body has been playing tricks on me.

I swear, I’m having pregnancy symptoms despite my monthly bleed.

My period just was not heavy enough to be normal-even for me-and the PMS still has not gone away,

yet the bleeding did. It came 2 days early, I usually count day 1 as any spotting-but technically they say to start count from the first day of true blood. Which would mean i really only had a sort of period bleeding for only 2 days the other 3 were brown spots and inconsistent. I’m still having bad cramps, and i keep getting sick to my stomach, and my boobs hurt so badly when my hubby bite my nipple 2 days ago it still hurt 3 hours later. Food bores me-i have loss all interest. Even stuff i like fails to excite. Hate to say it-been pregnant before-feel that way again.

I have not gotten any more tattoos since my last major mania in summer 2007.

I have one, in mind, i have wanted a really long time. It’s of a tarot card from the very first tarot deck i ever owned. My husband is against this because he claims that the Tarot freaks some people out AND while i know he is right, the inner gypsy in me cannot stop longer for this tattoo. His other argument is invalid-it concerns my ability to get a job. The reason that that argument is completely invalid is i already have tattoos all over my arms which when and if employed i will have to cover anyways-so one more on my arm, will not make a difference to anybody but me, and i feel it would make me happy. Because I have wanted this tattoo for a very long time now.

My loving hubby has no room to critque, argue, or talk anyways. The guy has an entire sleeve tattoo on his right arm and an entire back piece too. Part of why i fell heads over heels for him was all his tattoos-he has way more than i do, and it makes me feel left out.

My sister-in law, does tattoos-she did my last one in fact. I just do not know if she would be willing to do another, because i have no job, i cannot pay her anything. I offered to “barter” a painting in exchange-we’ll see-she probably will say no. But its worth a shot. Geez, its been 6 years since i got any new ink.