The problem with awards shows is that, no matter how much we talk about them and dissect them before they happen, it's hard to recall even one winner one year later. We spend a lot of time thinking about them and hardly any time remembering them. That said, I don't know that we're going to have that problem next January, since 2013's Golden Globes ceremony was full of moments that stuck out like, well, Jennifer Lawrence's boobs in that awful red dress.
First of all, we have to talk about Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, who were not only the most fetching Golden Globes hosts ever (but when your only competition is Ricky Gervais, that's a dubious distinction), but also the funniest. There's no denying their opening monologue was absolutely hilarious. There were no groaners and there were no misses — just two great comedians doing their best work. (Regarding how to distinguish the styles of the two host, Poehler delivered the punches while Fey played the part that you can't find in the fashion world: the straight man.) The jokes were edgy too – comparing the Hollywood Foreign Press Association to an STD, calling life with James Cameron "torture" (see Kathryn Bigelow's reaction here), and dissing James Franco for being a crappy Oscar host. Several of their jokes got the "Oh no they didn't" gasps that were Gervais stock in trade, but they were all accompanied by something that Gervais never got much of: laughs.
Sadly, Poehler and Fey were absent for large chunks of the show while the Golden Globes did what awards shows should do: hand out awards. The duo still delivered some great gags (see: their fake nominations for Dog President, a made-for-TV movie Animal Planet is putting into development first thing tomorrow morning), but the other presenters kept up the pace. Sacha Baron Cohen made some equally edgy jokes (one about Anne Hathaway's upskirt picture fell flatter than 12-year-old soda) and Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell's mustache did a wonderfully rehearsed gag that made it look like they were making up their introduction on the spot. Of course, Paul Rudd and Salma Hayek did have to make it up on the spot when their teleprompter went blank but, hey, it wouldn't be a live show without a snafu or two.
One of the biggest "What the hell?" moments was came courtesy of Bill Clinton, the former president of the United States, who took to the stage to introduce Lincoln. Granted, it's easy to assume he had an ulterior motive for being in the room (Hillary 2016 campaign contributions, anyone?), but why not get in on the Globes fun? And while he got a standing ovation, George W. Bush was at home watching a rerun of Swamp People.
Now, we need to talk about Jodie Foster's speech. Or should I call it a free associative ramble? Yes, as you heard on Twitter, the actress addressed her sexuality (sort of) while accepting the Lifetime Achievement Award for Humanitarian Goodness and Giving Us the National Treasure Nell. I'm not going to take umbrage with it... okay, I am. First of all, she asked for privacy from the stage of a nationally televised award show that is being watched by millions of people. That makes about as much sense as protesting people wearing fur at a rodeo. Secondly, she made us believe she was about to say the word "lesbian" in public for the first time in her life, but then pulled a bait and switch by saying, to paraphrase, "Haha, no I won't come out in public. Doing that would be disgusting, like being on a reality show. People who come out are as gross, unintelligent, and indulgent as Honey Boo Boo Child and anyone who does it is kind of a mess." Then she thanked Mel Gibson, an anti-Semetic homophobe with an alcohol problem, and sounded like she said she was going to retire but maybe she wasn't. The one thing she didn't do was apologize for The Beaver (which, like coming out, she really needs to do publicly), but otherwise she hit on just about every other topic germane to Hollywood today in her ramble. And it was amazing.
The other acceptance speech trend? Double dipping to get in a few more thank yous after stars' time at the podium was up. Ben Affleck had his wife Jennifer Garner get in a thank you for Argo producer George Clooney when she got up to present an award and Anne Hathaway used her time on the stage for Best Funny Movie or Movie With Singing when Les Misérables won to finish off her Best Supporting Actress speech. But there was a distinct difference between the two belated thank yous. When Affleck had Garner do it, it was kind of sweet, especially since Affleck won't have the opportunity to make an Oscar speech in a few months — despite his Best Director win at the Globes, Affleck was snubbed in the category by the Academy. But Hathaway? Ugh, Hathaway. Her interruption was inexcusable. It made the win about something other than the movie — it made it about her. Hathaway had already won. She had her moment! And her speech was already full of platitudes and seemingly manufactured surprise that will only fuel the inexplicable deep-seated hatred many pop culture fans have for the actress.
That said, at least she showed up. I've said it before and I'll say it again, we need to stop giving Maggie Smith awards — she'll never show up to accept them. She's gotten Emmys and Golden Globes and People's Choice Awards and Teen Choice Awards and American Music Awards and just about every honor under the sun. Why can't she make it? Was she at home with Judi Dench (another no-show nominee) drinking Crème de Menthe and talking smack about Julian Fellowes' wife? Ed Harris was also a no-show when he won for Game Change, but luckily Anne Hathaway got on stage and made another speech on his behalf. Meryl Streep also couldn't make it because she had the flu, but rumor is she was great in it.
As for the awards themselves, Argo and Les Mis taking home top honors in the film departments was slightly surprising, but the wins were hardly undeserving. On the other hand, the triumphs of Jessica Chastain, Daniel Day-Lewis, Hugh Jackman, and Jennifer Lawrence were a bit more predictable. As was the TV drama category: Anyone who watched the Emmys (or last year's Golden Globes) knew that Homeland would pick up its three awards. But Girls and Lena Dunham (who should only wear dresses that cover her tattoos) were non-traditional choices, but, then again, the HFPA has a history of rewarding eclectic comedies. (See: Extras, 30 Rock, and Glee.) A win for Don Cheadle (the only person of color to win and one of only four nominated) for House of Lies falls under the same jurisdiction.
But on Monday morning, everyone is going to be talking about the ladies of the night, Amy, Tina, and Jodie. They all made big splashes and created something that is even better than an award and will probably last even longer than a trophy. They, for once, made memories.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: Paul Drinkwater/NBC]
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If the Oscars are a time for every actor and filmmaker to put on their serious faces and bow down to Hollywood, then the Golden Globes are a time for the stars to cut loose and have a good laugh.
Over the years, the Globes have become more of a celebrity roast than an awards show, and 2013's ceremony was no exception. Here are a few of the best zingers from the night, famous faces jabbing one another for our amusement:
1. "When it comes to torture, I trust the lady who was married to James Cameron for three years." - Amy Poehler "praising" Zero Dark Thirty director Kathryn Bigelow (don't worry, Bigelow laughed).
2. "Does this say 'I beat Meryl?'" - Jennifer Lawrence reminds us that Streep can't win every year.
3. "Russell Crowe had four months of singing lessons. That was money well spent." - Sacha Baron Cohen
4. "A man so versatile, he played Iron Man in three movies." - Tina Fey introducing Robert Downey Jr., star of this summer's Iron Man 3.
5."Congratulations, Lena. I'm glad we got you through middle school." - Fey drops another one, this time ribbing her spiritual successor Lena Dunham.
6. “Are you sure there’s room for another ex-president on the stage?” - Daniel Day-Lewis, jabbing himself for winning yet another Best Actor statue for Lincoln.
7. "I have not seen someone so totally alone and abandoned like that since you were alone with James Franco at the Oscars," - Fey to Les Mis actress Anne Hathaway.
8. "Wow, what an exciting guest. That was Hillary Clinton's husband!" - Poehler, on Globes special guest Bill Clinton.
9. "Quentin Tarantino is here -- the star of all my sexual nightmares." - Fey gives us all the willies.
10. Jodie Foster to everything celebrity. Less acceptance speech, more ultimate declaration.
[Photo Credit: NBC]
Follow Matt Patches on Twitter @misterpatches
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In approaching Cougar Town 2.0, one might find him or herself a bit apprehensive. What if it’s… different? Less funny, lacking heart, straining its characters? Not the Cougar Town you once knew, loved, and quoted incessantly to the point of warranting intervention? What if its relocation to basic cable compels Cougar Town to go overboard with more adult material? What if the always-dreaded showrunner replacement transforms the program entirely into something alien and uninviting? What would become of us in the wake of such a fate?
Well, we might actually transform into normal people. But we don’t have to entertain such a dastardly concept — Cougar Town’s Season 4 premiere, its first foray with cable and a new team of behind-camera creative forces, suggests with broad shoulders that nothing, really nothing, has changed.
Okay, so maybe now they can make jokes about Bobby's hinted preference at avoiding the performance of oral sex (is there anything classier than Brian Van Holt saying "none-alingus"?), but otherwise, pretty much nothing.
The episode sets our cul-de-sac dwellers one week past our last adventure with them, wherein Jules and Grayson got married, Travis professed his love to Laurie, and Ellie/Andy/Bobby provided enjoyable side nonsense. In keeping with the always calm, pleasantly unambitious M.O. of the sitcom, the premiere kicks off with a simple “That’s how you wanna play it?” plotline (actually a piece of dialogue), matching newlyweds Jules and Grayson in their first battle of wits. Grayson wants to avoid setting any domestic precedents — e.g., fetching Jules coffee and wine — despite her and Ellie’s insistence that he is doomed to play busboy forever thanks to his rookie mistake in the form of the above described acts of beverage-related consideration during their first week as a married couple.
However, the fight and story structure escalate, er, mutate, when Jules has a dream about Grayson flirting shamelessly with a bar patron behind her back, inspiring some irrational waking life anger. In large, Jules’ insecurities about her marriage falling apart are manifesting through her dreams and behavior, making her friends (particularly Ellie) concerned for her emotional well-being. She asserts to a stubborn Grayson that Jules is the beacon of light in their social circle, and her happiness deserves preservation. The cynical Grayson sheds his icy sheath, as he always does around the 20-minute mark, and avows himself totally devoted to making Jules happy and comfortable forever. The whole thing is squeaky clean and cheesily simplistic, but that’s Cougar Town. Silly, sappy, screwy, laden with quirky banter. And there’s a dance party.
The real victory of the episode comes in its B-story: the dynamic pairing of a lonely loser long past his midlife crisis and his intellectual, perpetually disapproving son. Bobby tries to instill in Travis a few valuable life lessons, notably that running away from your problems (literally) is an acceptable solution. In an effort to defy his manchild father’s irresponsible maxim, Travis attempts to not only point out the error in evading confrontation, but to force Bobby (and Andy, Andy’s also there!) to endure their hardships respectably. In the end, Travis takes a page from his old man’s book in running away when Laurie insists they discuss his profession of love for her — and along with being genuinely funny, it’s kind of sweet. The whole Bobby/Travis relationship is, as we see highlighted this week.
Watching Bobby try to teach Travis, and Travis try to teach Bobby is at once hilarious (they are, in fact, the funniest individual performers on the program) and sad. Bobby is a tragic and pitiable, but lovable character — doomed to a life of solitude thanks to a youth of debauchery from which he has apparently grown a distance. And Travis is a young man built from the ground floor on solemnity, adorning his defensive wall with brick layers of sarcasm and self-righteousness. The pair has a great deal of weight to toss around. They might never see eye to eye, might never truly understand one another, but they do care for each other — both men strive to instill in the other lessons of self-betterment, often to little avail. No exception here.
For its sentimentality and its free spirit alike, we’re glad to have Cougar Town back — the very Cougar Town we remember. Same corny sense of humor, colorful aesthetics, and unabashed dedication to presenting the unique world in which these oddballs can sprout from every crack in the wall, feasting only on wine and hokey wordplay. Welcome back, old friend. We missed you dearly.
[Photo Credit: TBS]
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While we have been without our Floridian, ostensibly jobless friends since before the summer months, we can now thank TBS and a pair of new showrunners for reuniting us with the beloved militia of Cougar Town characters. Some might be wary of testing the waters of a non Bill Lawrence-led Cougar Town. Others might be deterred by the new cable station and 10 PM air time. Others still have never seen Cougar Town, and still think it's a show about Courteney Cox hitting on young dudes. But we know better than any of these fools. And we're ready to launch full swing into Season 4 of what has become one of the most strangely addictive comedies on television. But just in chase you're a bit rusty on your Cougar Town knowledge, here's a quick catchup to prepare you for Tuesday night's premiere...
Where We Left Off: The jarringly heartfelt Season 3 finale saw Jules marry neighbor nemesis fremesis friend boyfriend boyfremesis fiancé now husband Grayson on the beach (against Cougar Town's stringent "no beach weddings" law), with her father ordaining the ceremony, her son snapping photos, and all of her loved ones (and Tom) present for the occasion before the married couple rode off into the sunset (on a horse!) just in time to evade law enforcement. Additionally, Travis had presented his earnest feelings for Laurie in an emotional explosion fueled by wine and failing any conceivable dress code, apparently sparking some inkling of interest in Laurie despite her decision to stay with her boyfriend Wade. Ellie's still mean, Andy's still hapless, and Bobby's still vaguely brain damaged.
Best Moment of Season 3: For Scrubs fans, Cougar Town's meta acknowledgement of the extensive casting similarities between the two Bill Lawrence shows (star Christa Miller, supporting player Bob Clendenin, recurring player Ken Jenkins, and guest stars Sarah Chalke and Sam Lloyd... Zach Braff and Rob Maschio even made appearances to strengthen the joke). For Community fans, the 11th episode title card gag that read, "'I didn't know it was back on either' - Abed." For non-Scrubs/non-Community fans... well, those people don't actually watch this show, either.
Most Improved Character: All of the characters have grown substantially since the lackluster early days of the show, but the title goes to Bobby Cobb, who has evolved from a one-note dirt bag to a genuinely tragic, albeit hysterical character.
Least Improved Character: Dog Travis. We've seen almost no development with this guy.
Biggest Changes We'll See This Season: Aside from Jules' marriage and a potential relationship for Travis and Laurie subtly teased, the show has shifted networks from ABC to the cable channel TBS, and to the late hour of 10 PM. This means: more cursing! More sex jokes! More explicit alcohol abuse! Ellie can be meaner, Laurie can be more vivid in her description of her romantic escapades, and Bobby can be more inadvertently culturally insensitive. It's your call on whether these are good things or not.
5 Reasons You Should Keep Watching: To see what the show's new home, as well as its new showrunners, will bring to the flavor of Cougar Town; to win some more great Scrubs cameos (we're still waiting on you, Janitor!); to revel in the notion that someday, you can spend every single afternoon of your life relaxing in the paradise of your beachfront Florida home with your friends and family, getting drunk and shirking all conceivable responsibility; simply, to experience more Penny Canning, wine-indulging, and pop culture movie references; and of course, to see if Travis and Laurie do indeed end up together.
What We Ultimately Want to See: Cougar Town eventually turns out to be an extended Twilight Zone hypothetical, examining a human race devoid of any real drive or established code of morals or ethics.
What We'll Settle for, Since That's Absurd: More lighthearted alcoholism.
[Photo Credit: Justin Lubin/TBS]
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Jennifer Lawrence trained extensively with an archery coach in order to play Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games — the movie that took Lawrence from indie film darling to international superstar — and while her hours with a bow often left her bruised and sore, Lawrence's coach tells Hollywood.com that by the time the cameras roleld, Lawrence looked ready for the Olympics. Now, Lawrence is using her proficiency with a bow to become a real-life Katniss and protect herself from home invaders.
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“One time I actually used it for defense," Lawrence reveals in the February 2013 issue of Vanity Fair. "I pulled into my garage and I heard men in my house. And I was like, 'I'm not letting them take my stuff. I had just gotten back from training, so I had the bow and arrows in the back of my car," she says. "I went to my car and I put this quiver on me and I had my bow and I loaded it and I'm walking up the stairs. And I look, and my patio doors were open, and there were guys working right there, and I was like, 'Heyyy, how you doin'?'"
While Lawrence decided to let the workers off with a warning (this time), her friends want to put Lawrence's shooting skills to the test. "They were like, 'We've got to stage someone to break into your house and you can kill them!'" she tells Vanity Fair. "That would be the funniest news ever. Katniss Everdeen actually kills someone with a bow and arrow!" It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...
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In interview after interview, Lawrence has proved herself to be one of the most candid stars in Hollywood, and her chat with Vanity Fair is no different. When it comes to the fame her career has given her, Lawrence tells it like it is. “Not to sound rude, but [acting] is stupid,” she says. “Everybody’s like, ‘How can you remain with a level head?’ And I’m like, ‘Why would I ever get cocky? I’m not saving anybody’s life. There are doctors who save lives and firemen who run into burning buildings. I’m making movies. It’s stupid.'"
But Lawrence is still in awe of the great big-screen talents, like Meryl Streep. “Once I’m obsessed with somebody, I’m terrified of them instantly. I’m not scared of them — I’m scared of me and how I will react,” she says. “Like, for instance, one time someone was introducing me to Bill Maher, and I saw Meryl Streep walk into the room, and I literally put my hand right in Bill Maher’s face and said, ‘Not now, Bill!,’ and I just stared at Meryl Streep.”
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Lawrence may claim to be awkward, but every photo ever taken of her (including the smokin' hot shot of her with a vintage car in this month's Vanity Fair, above) begs to differ. Humble though she may be, Lawrence is one of the fiercest chicks around — with or without her bow and arrow.
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Thursday morning was a whirlwind of Golden Globes news. First came the TV and movie nomination announcements, quickly followed by a roundup of TV and movies nomination snubs (natch). The nominated TV and movie stars have even started to react to the news of their success.
Now that the metaphorical dust has settled, we can start to analyze the nominations and predict who will walk away with both the golden statuette and bragging rights come Sunday, Jan. 13 when the Globes concludes its broadcast. Now, these theories are not based solely on our opinions. We have collected hard data, numbers, and figures to accurately predict who will be called up to the stage in front of all of Hollywood and the world to accept their award (and by hard data, numbers, and figures, we mean the overall score for each movie on Rotten Tomatoes). Science! Math! Let's get to it!
Best Motion Picture, Drama
Argo 95%
Django Unchained 100%
Life of Pi 88%
Lincoln 91%
Zero Dark Thirty 100%
This is the closest race of them all. The biggest takeaway is that not only did all of these dramas get high scores (all but Life of Pi scoring above a 90%), but two -- not one but two -- films scored a perfect 100%. We're having a hard time predicting what will walk away victorious between Django Unchained and Zero Dark Thirty, but the consensus from all the Hollywood.com staff members who have seen both dramas is that ZDT will take the prize.
Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln 91%
Richard Gere, Arbitrage 85%
John Hawkes, The Sessions 93%
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master 85%
Denzel Washington, Flight 77%
While The Sessions as a whole scored the highest, Daniel Day-Lewis' performance in the historical drama Lincoln will nab him the Golden Globe. Day-Lewis completely transformed into the iconic role of the 16th president of the United States, complete with the accurate accent and mannerisms with which real-life Abraham Lincoln spoke.
Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty 100%
Marion Cotillard, Rust and Bone 82%
Helen Mirren, Hitchcock 67%
Naomi Watts, The Impossible 81%
Rachel Weisz, The Deep Blue Sea 79%
Though Jessica Chastain's Zero Dark Thirty will win the Globe for best drama, based on reviews' discussions on the actress nominees, Marion Cotillard might be the winner for her work in Rust and Bone. The actress plays a woman whose life takes a sharp turn when a horrific accident leaves her a double amputee. Cotillard is also expected to earn an Oscar nod for the same role.
Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 77%
Les Misérables 74%
Moonrise Kingdom 94%
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen 67%
Silver Linings Playbook 90%
Although Wes Anderson's Moonrise Kingdom scored the highest out of all these contenders, it is the underdog Salmon Fishing in the Yemen that we think will win the Globe. This charming, intelligent romantic comedy is such a rare gem, and was the biggest pleasant surprise of the nominations.
Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical
Jack Black, Bernie 92%
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook 90%
Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables 74%
Ewan McGregor, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen 67%
Bill Murray, Hyde Park 38%
Though Bradley Cooper is being (deservedly) applauded for his work in Silver Linings Playbook, Jack Black's greatest role of his career in Bernie will earn him the Globe. Black managed to make his alleged murderer adorable and loveable, which is no easy feat.
Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical
Emily Blunt, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen 67%
Judi Dench, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 77%
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook 90%
Maggie Smith, Quartet 92%
Meryl Streep, Hope Springs 73%
We're going with the scores on this one. Jennifer Lawrence will win thanks to her portrayal of a widow with issues to match Bradley Cooper's bipolar character.
Best Animated Feature Film
Brave 78%
Frankenweenie 89%
Hotel Transylvania 43%
Rise of the Guardians 73%
Wreck-It Ralph 87%
Based on the scores, the Globe will either go to Tim Burton's Frankenweenie or Wreck-It Ralph. Even though Frankenweenie beat Wreck-It Ralph by 2 percent, we think the nostalgia and star-studded cast behind the voices of the video-game based Wreck-It Ralph will push it to the front of the race.
Who do you think will win? Hit the comments with your thoughts, and tune in to the 70th annual Golden Globes on Sunday, Jan. 13 to see if our predictions came true!
Follow Sydney on Twitter @SydneyBucksbaum
[Photo Credit: Weinstein Company; Columbia Pictures]
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