Should I make a big deal out of my teenage boy's room being a mess?

A teenager's room often looks more like a pigsty than a bedroom. What should you do if your teenager's room is always a complete mess?

40 Answers

By Inez Hollmann
- Posted on Aug 31, 2011

410

I like Ginger's theory. This is how we handled it with 3 kids in the house all in Jr. Hi or High School: You get X amount of time to clean it. Whatever is left on the floor after that time gets thrown out. No food in the rooms overnight. One time it got so bad... We took the door off of his room so he had no privacy until he cleaned it up. That was the most effective solution ever!

42

By Pat Nickerson
- commented on Sep 16, 2011

964

I am not sure you can legally take their door off eliminating their privacy, as well as throwing out their belongings. It's good to get a professional's advice on this, first. The schools have us in their radar as parents, don't forget. (I worked in them). I had to actually tape up a box with plumbers tape all of his NINTENTO when he refused to do his homework, but it wasn't thrown out. It was done with the advice of a counselor. I like your toughness though. Really. My son who was almost 20, got literally thrown out of his room finally and got relegated to the basement playroom (which was soundproofed and which he loved, anyway) because we found a box of pizza about 3 months old under his bed. It had been an ongoing battle to keep the place livable. Done. The next step was, "see ya later, and don't let the door hit you in the behin_". He laughs about it now, and thanks us for being strict with him. Go figure. :) Pat Nickerson (ECE)

By Amy Goff
- commented on Sep 24, 2011

1017

This is exactly what is WRONG with our society. We bought them the stuff in the first place and if they dso not take care of it and WE as parents decide to get rid of it...so be it. I also work in the schools and leagally all you are responsible for it a roof over their head , clothes and food. Period. Kids do not and should not have more rights or say than parents do.

By Cindy Claflin
- commented on Oct 15, 2011

016

You are so right. We do have a right to take the door off the hinges as well as throwing away anything that is in their room, Their room is in my house, I pay the bills, It will be kept up to my standards. We need to remember we are the PARENTS they are the children and we have the authority to run our homes as we see best. As long as no physical or mentlal harm is being caused. WE as PARENTS do not need an attorney to tell us our rights.

By Caroline
- commented on Oct 18, 2011

430

@ Pat Nickerson---what??!?!? That's definitely not true. There are no privacy violations when it's dealing with your own house. That's the craziest thing I've heard. The entire house could be without doors, and no one has any privacy and you practice nudist family rules, and it still wouldn't be against any laws.

By Lindsay J
- commented on Nov 21, 2011

67

my room was usually pretty messy, and having my parents badger me about cleaning it, did NOT make me want to clean it, it would make me resent them more and it would continue to stay a mess
they took my door off once (not because of the mess, because I slammed the door alot) and i stopped cleaning my room completely to try to embarrass them when they had company over, and it worked, i eventually got my door back
one day i found a bug in my room, and i freaked out, and i cleaned it, i KNOW when my room needs to be cleaned now, and i do it ON MY OWN. one thing i know for sure is when someone is nagging you to do something (even if they have every right to) it will usually cause them to do the complete opposite

I guess I'm in the minority because I feel to an extent you should make a big deal out of a messy room. I think it's a respect issue and not just towards you but for your kids. I think it's a habit that is learned and will follow them on in the future. I agree with allowing expression for your kids, decorate your room how you want it, but keep it clean.

31

By Amy Goff
- commented on Sep 24, 2011

1017

I agree with you 100%. What we teach our children is what they will take into adulthood...good or bad.

By Dawn Schneider
- Posted on Sep 6, 2011

011

When my kids ask me if they can go out, my answer to that question is the same answer to..."IS YOUR ROOM CLEAN?" 5 minutes a day is all it takes! I'm to the point now where they don't even ask to go somewhere until their rooms are clean. I don't ask for much but that's the least they can do is clean their rooms! And...NO FOOD EVER! We as parents are supposed to be training our children into being responsible adults! That's all part of parenting...right?

30

By Michele
- commented on Sep 7, 2011

486

I agree. No food ever... because one thing leads to another. If you keep that rule, you never need to worry about things spoiling and smelling bad and no dirty dishes piling up.

By cathy brady
- commented on Sep 12, 2011

57

O.K., but do you check to make sure everything isn't thrown under the bed and in the closet??? Just wondering. Do they put their own clothes away? Do you do their laundry? Curious.
cathy

By Pat Nickerson
- commented on Sep 16, 2011

964

You know, I never spied on my kids, read their mail, or listened to their conversations. I would have if I suspected they were really in trouble. Nevertheless, I did inspect their rooms once a week, but only with them in attendance. This was done to make sure they put their cloths away, found lost cloths and helped them if they wanted me to---while they helped also. A lot of children-as well as adults- have trouble organizing themselves. It doesn't hurt to help them if they ask for it. Showing them how to do it daily is way smarter and what I would have done over if I knew better at the time. I recently worked in schools with children with ADHD as well as other special needs. The school teachers show our kids how to organize. They are already doing it in school. GUESS WHAT? THEY CAN DO IT. We just don't give them enough credit. I would also talk less, yell less, give more "ultimatums" and be more organized myself by example. Parenting...the toughest job. Don't worry ladies, it will all be clear by the time they are in their 30's. :)

and a big Amen to that, I do want my son to keep his room somewhat clean bring up dirty dishes and dirty clothes, I have to tell him about 5 times, but then he does it. He has not been any trouble, no drinking or drugs and is into computers and marching band. So I am with you Alfreda count your blessings.

By Donna Williams
- commented on Sep 8, 2011

16

@Teresa...We have parallel lives! You just described my son to a "T".

By Amy Goff
- commented on Sep 24, 2011

1017

My kids were also taught at a young age ( from friends that are fire fighters) that it is also VERY important to keep your room clean and organized because if there is a fire and they have to go in and look for you ( if they cannot see) they have to sweep the room. They stop and check everything they hit and if your room is a mess it is going to keep them from finding you!

I just shut the door. I'm on my second and third teenagers and it's not worth the fight.

21

By Sue Lawrence
- commented on Sep 7, 2011

01

I'm with you, Lisa. I close the doors. If the clothes don't make it to the laundry room, they don't get washed. When they finally run out of clean underwear, the clothes manage to find their way to the laundry. Food has never really been an issue. When I ask them why they don't make their beds, the answer is always "why bother when I have to unmake it when I get into it." My response, "I guess that could be the same with dishes, clothes, etc. Why should I wash them if you're planning on wearing or eating off of them." It usually gets the point across. But I agree it's not worth the fight, and they're pretty good when they know there will be company.

By Tanette Clegg
- commented on Sep 8, 2011

00

I'm only on my first teenager and have been at since she was able to clean it herself. She is 13 and refuses to keep her room clean. I shut the door so that I don't holler or harass her EVERYTIME I go by. However, when I do finally open it to just check to make sure nothing is growing, is when we the fight begins.

By Tracy Sutphin
- commented on Sep 8, 2011

04

I understand the closed door thing and I quit doing his laundry a few years ago he has to do it himself unless he puts it in the hamper. Then I will do it with my weekly loads.

A teenager is about themselves. Their hair, their clothes, their car, their phone, their room... the rest of the house belongs to everyone but their room is theirs. I simply have a few rules and the room remains their domain- break them and I get to come in and dictate : No food left in the room beyond pass out time because it stinks! No trickle down - as long as it doesnt trickle out the door and into 'regular' living space Im good! And odoriferous skunkiness are to kept at a bare minimum! If I can smell your room with the door closed you have some cleanin' ta do! Other than that it's all good.

17

By Crystal Parker
- Posted on Sep 7, 2011

613

My step daughter's room and bathroom were so nasty when she lived at home that I wouldn't even use her bathroom. But when she moved into a dorm, she became this neat freak and came home and complained to the younger two teenagers how messy their rooms were. So, I think cleaning will come naturally when it is their own "home". My kids wash their own clothes and I will fold them and put them on the bed for them to out up, but otherwise, I think that there are bigger battles and if they want to live with stuff every where then I just shut the door. And about once a month, I make them really clean it. Otherwise, it's not worth fighting over on a continual basis.

12

By Terri Silva
- commented on Sep 7, 2011

00

I agree "most" will come naturally when they leave home. My oldest was the WORST for keeping her room clean....but you go to her home now it is very neatly clean and everything in its place....I just hope that my youngest follows! Always the rule...eat in the dining room or kitchen, bedrooms off limits!

By Shannon Garrett
- commented on Sep 7, 2011

014

This is funny because I was the same way. I was always a slob as a teen and once I went out on my own I was a total neat freak. :)

By deborah rubendra
- commented on Oct 16, 2011

17

This is so true my now 23year old daughter was a little pig at home now she is married with a 18 month old and bubba on the way, she is over the top clean,She mops twice a day vacums 3 times a day and constantley ajusts the tap in the kitchen to make sure it it perfectly straight, Who would of thought now with my 16 yr old son I just let him be hopefully he turns out as good.Well maybe not lol

I have two teenagers, one boy and one girl and a 10 year old boy,. They are like Oscar and Felix from The Odd Couple. The 10 year old is a combination of the two. My son is very messy and my daughter is extremely neat. All three of them wash their own clothes. I bought the hampers that are divided into 3 sections. They take their clothes off and sort them for washing when they put them in the hamper. My older son got lazy and decided to rush while clean up and put a red t-shirt in with his whites so he ended up with pink undershirt and underwear. He learned his lesson because I made him wear them. I told them Mommy is NOT the maid. I do not make a big deal out of his room being messy until it spills all over every other room. I give him a week to clean it and then I put everything in a Big Trash bag. He gets the point then!

9

By Samantha Griffiths
- Posted on Aug 31, 2011

019

I don't have a son, I have a daughter. She's a good kid, gets excellent grades, is involved in soccer, theatre and orchestra. She's responsible in most aspects of her life, including finances. But around the house, that's another story.

When it came to her bedroom I thought, it's about picking your battles, and this one is not worth the hassle. She has to live in it. I absolutely agree about the food - there have been times when we've had to say, no food in the room for a week, so she's pretty good about that now.. And, if she needs clothes, she can pick them up off her floor and clean them herself.

Now, the hard part is when the "I don't feel like picking up after myself" attitude trickles out into the living room. No matter how hard I try, I can not get her to clean up her things on her own without being asked.

8

By Katie Morgan
- Posted on Sep 8, 2011

121

I have 13, 16, and 18 year old sons. I have never allowed food in their rooms, eliminating mold or dishes being lost. As far as their own belongings all over, I close the door. When they complain that they can't find their own stuff? "Honey, that's your problem, clean your room and it will be found." Bottom line with teens is don't, do not, never ever, fight battles that don't matter and won't amount to much. If you're fighting for respect by making them clean their room then you lost their respect long ago. There are far bigger issues they're dealing with than a messy room. Peer pressure, dating, mean people, bullying, zits, body odor, braces, headaches, growing pains, lack of sleep because their circadian clocks are different than ours, all add up to an inner nightmare that, if you remember right, were FAR more important than whether our socks were on the floor. I also laid out that they were to do their own laundry so if they weren't prepared for school then natural consequences bit their own butts.

6

By Claudia Mikicich
- Posted on Sep 7, 2011

09

If you really want the room clean, you can threaten to post pictures of the messy room on facebook!
seriously tho, it's not such a big deal, just shut the door, and never ever go in there.

6

By Michele
- Posted on Sep 7, 2011

486

Obviously, it's up to you but I have made my children clean their rooms and help with household chores as soon as they were able to walk and pick up their own toys. Eventually, adding more responsibilties as they were capable. My teenager rarely has a messy room, my 8 yr old is starting to stay tidier too. Both of my kids have clothes hampers in their room and when it's laundry day, they bring their clothes to the laundry room. If their rooms get out of control, I hand them a few trash bags and tell them to get rid of anything they don't need or want. Then we donate what's not trash to the once around shop.

6

By Kristen Coleman
- Posted on Jun 28, 2011

524

If your kid is a good kid ie: Good grades, nice friends, helps with the house work, respects you and his siblings.... who really cares what his room looks like? If you dont like it you can always close the door.

6

By Kim Atkinson
- commented on Aug 31, 2011

014

I just make them keep their doors shut.

By renee
- Posted on Sep 7, 2011

1020

My one daughter when she was a teen was like that.. i told her to clean it and she refused so next day i did.. i went in loaded w a huge box of 39 gallon garbage bags.. anything and evrything on the floor went in them.. n out the back door it went.. when she realized she didnt have any underwear socks n shoes she begged to get them back.. i gave her one bag at a time.. she was to wash what was dirty.. put away anything clean n clean her room.. next time it got that bad again i would do the same but.. on garbage nite.. it worked she didnt wanna lose all her stuff again

I have 2 teenagers. Repeating my self on the same issue did not make any changes. What ever mess i found in the room,i just pack them in a bag and put them outside. Its working slowly, They have to go out side to search for their things ,which they don't like ,and i told them i will never stop it unless they change their bad habit .

I think that parents should make consequences for kids not keeping their rooms clean. The world will require them to be self sufficient and home is the training ground for that. It may sound old school but, they don't need us to give them the freedom a friendship would provide they need the guidance a parent should provide. Keeping a clean room shows that they appreciate what they have.

3

By Rochelle Wingfield
- Posted on Sep 7, 2011

012

I agree with Samantha, pick and chose your battles...They have to live in that mess. The only time I get involved is if it affects the house as a whole.

3

By Barbara Wagner Abrams
- Posted on Sep 7, 2011

01

I leave it be, I shut the door. If they have friends over I tell them to clean it.. If they don't they are the ones that are embarrassed by it not me. I do stand by one rule too, no food in the room what so ever.

3

By Elaine Huirama
- commented on Sep 10, 2011

025

thats a good idea and I agree no food in the bedroom either and yep they would be the one embarrassed after all they want to be a slob let them it wont last for long but I'm sure their friends will think twice visiting again unless their own rooms are a pigsty

By Vickie Inglis
- Posted on Sep 6, 2011

1550

I have 2 teenage sons. They are allowed to have their room anyway they want as long as there is no food in there (mice issue). Sometimes they leave their mess in other parts of the house and I just pick it up and throw it back into their rooms. I am pretty lucky that when the rooms get to a certain point the boys clean it themselves. That is fun to watch and listen to. "Oh my Goooodddd, where did that come from" etc. :-)) I feel there are more serious issues to deal with as a parent of teenagers and their bedrooms are at the bottom of the list.

3

By leah milligan
- Posted on Oct 6, 2011

1972

Does said teen pay the mortgage? If not, then yes, taking care of YOUR house should be expected and a minimum expectation. Of course, this skill should be taught starting at age 1 not at age 16.

2

By Kay Milam
- Posted on Sep 11, 2011

117

The messy room drives me crazy. This past Friday one of my son's best friends killed himself. I know a messy room is the lest of his mothers concerns and what she would give for a messy teenboys room in the coming days. Somehow I do not think I am going to mind it so much from now on.

2

By Laurie McCrillis
- Posted on Sep 8, 2011

00

I have 5 kids, now 27, 26, 25, 25 and 18. Their rooms were never that bad. But my attitude was there is a door keep it close LOL. While they were younger: middle school age and under it was part of their chore list.

There are more important battles, keeping a bedroom clean with a teenager is very low on the warpath.

2

By Christin Wuensche
- Posted on Sep 8, 2011

00

My son is 16. His room used to be unbearable. When he was 13 I decorated a room just for him...his den. I know this is not practical for all, but think of it as a playroom...just for teens. Anyway he keeps this room SPOTLESS. I only have to remind him occasionally to bring dishes back to the kitchen. I let him take the lead on decorating the room. Paint color, furniture, everything. He is PROUD of this room (and it IS really cool)!

His bedroom was still a DISASTER!!! You could not see the floor most of the time. We had many battles over his bedroom. I've tried ignoring it. I've tried giving him an allotted time to clean (from 1 hour to 1 week). I've tried getting rid of everything. Last Christmas I decided to try decorating his room...like we did with the den. I let HIM choose his colors & style. He surprised me by choosing a very mature & calming color palette. HE wanted a paint effect on one wall, we even painted his closet!! (he stores MOST of his clothes in a dresser so his closet is a 'part' of his room. As part of this redecoration he had to agree to let me help him organize & cull the clutter. I had to agree that there were things that he held dear & I could not MAKE him get rid of.

For a while his room was as spotless as his den. NOW...well, his room is not spotless, but it is tolerable. He takes pride in his space. Yes he does have laundry all over...the floor, the furniture, etc. He does not make his bed. He does not dust...& I don't have to harp on him. For a VERY small investment of paint, a new comforter & a couple of weekends I got a happy teen that loves his rooms & keeps them clean-ish...AND I had a really good excuse to spend time with me kid...and he wanted to spend that time with me too!

AS for food, dishes & laundry - If he wants clean clothes he either does his own laundry or gets his clothes to the laundry room. Food is not an issue...we had pest problems years ago while living in a apartment...Dishes, a friendly reminder when there are no glasses left in the kitchen always gets a positive response.

2

By Jen Jen
- Posted on Sep 7, 2011

90

There are so many issues that I feel are very important--being honest, loving and respecting yourself, others and God and following rules--I honestly just let the bedroom issue go most of the time. My girls will usually clean it up on their own. It might not be to my standards, but I can just shut the door.

2

By Nicole Elias
- Posted on Sep 6, 2011

06

I have explained it to my 16 year old son like this... he is in the age where standards and habits are formed. He needs to understand where his goals line up with his standard of living. He talks about going to a University and living in a dorm, or going into the Air Force which will have dorm room inspections. If he makes the right habits now, he will struggle less later. He also knows what MY standard is... and should he decide he needs some extra time before going to College or AF, he will live by my standards and keep my house clean.
I guess I should maybe mention, I was raised by a VERY clean housewife, and am completing a 22 year career in the Air Force.

2

By Katrina Burton
- Posted on Sep 6, 2011

110

I think the bigger question is, should I continue to make a big deal out o f my teenage girl's room being a mess! I stopped cleaning her room two years ago, and I've had a hard time dealing with her efforts. I thought high school would change her attitude, but it hasn't. The clutter and disorganization drives me bananas!

2

By Michele
- commented on Sep 7, 2011

486

I think that parents should start early and make their kids clean their own rooms by the time they know how to pick up toys and put them in a toy box. Eventually, they can make their own beds (maybe with a little help) by the time they are 5-7 yrs old. But if you wait until they are pre-teens or teenagers, why would they want to clean? They never had to before.

By Lisa Tanguay
- Posted on Jan 2, 2012

396

I was that teenager. It wasn't so much a case of me being lazy as feeling overwhelmed when things weren't organized. I would try and try but just couldn't do it. I still struggle with it today. My house has clutter everywhere and I do my best but I am not good at getting organized. I have a system now that works to help me. My house isn't dirty, just has clutter in various places.
My mom let me keep my room how I wanted it. I couldn't make a mess in the rest of the house and I had to help with weekly cleaning around the rest of the house. But my room was mine to with as I pleased. It worked in our house with some ground rules: no food left over night in our rooms, wash your clothes and put them in your room, no wet towels left on the floor and vacum and dust once a week.
There are biger fights to pick, than if a room is clean or not. I only have a 3 year old, but she already helps with cleaning around the house. As she gets older it will be her job to keep her playrooom and bedroom clean. If her room isn't neat then it is her cross to bear. So long as she is a good kid, I don't care what her room looks like.

1

By Angela Mazzilli
- Posted on Sep 29, 2011

01

It has been my experience that one of the most important things to a teenager is their privacy/own space. Whether their room is messy or clean to them doesn't matter. We have a schedule in our home. Once everyone arrives home from school, activities & work, both kids (16 & 11) have to clean their rooms and bathrooms while I get dinner ready. Cleaning would consist of picking up dirty clothes, making beds, no clutter on nightstands/dresser tops, etc. (Vacuuming, dusting, and their laundry is all done by the kids on Saturday morning before I commit to birthday parties, sleep-overs, etc). After dinner, they do homework at the bar while my husband cleans up the dinner mess, so he is available for any help they may need. Once all responsibilites (homework & chores) are done, I give them their electronics, which go with me to work daily in a laptop bag. At bedtime, they have to return them, and the routine starts over the next day. If they are being defiant, they not only forfeit their priveledges, but their spaces are taken away, and they are "evicted". We have a pull-out "cuddle-chair" in our room, and one night sleeping with the folks will straighten any kid into cleaning their room!! The reasoning behind this is that if they are right next to me, I can ensure that the clothes are hitting the hamper, the bed gets made right away in the morning, and the towels are hung neatly after showering. For the people that want to be critical of my parenting...Growing up, I didn't have my own room or bathroom. I didn't have laptops or cell phones. My parents didn't drive me to and from my extras after school, and I certainly wasn't "asked" to clean up after myself. I was raised in the South, where a good old-fashioned "butt-whoopin'" kept any unruly teenager in check!
I'm not an expert with any credentials at all, but in my house, this has always been the expectation, so my kids know how to get their rewards. The biggest challenge for me as a parent, is becoming overwhelmed with my own career and life at times, and not staying consistent. Consistency really is key!
My goal in parenting is to raise responsible, loving, contributing members of society. I don't think I'll know if I did anything correctly as a parent until my kids are grown with children and families of their own. But I will know that I always tried and did the best I could with the information that I had.
A word of advice from my father..."Don't fur-line the pigpen"... take from it what you will, but my interpretation is that if I want the piglets to leave at some point, I can't make it too comfie here!
Good luck to all of you.. this whole "mom-gig" isn't easy!! : )

1

By Tysie Davis
- Posted on Sep 23, 2011

64

Reading this question makes me think of my son. Someone commented and said that you can't "legally" take their door off the hinges and I don't know where they were raised but as long as I am the parent and I am the one paying the bills and buying the clothes they have no legal rights in my home so the door can completely come off but I have learned that as a teenage boy that they have their own way of doing things they are not girls, my son is 16 years of age and I have fussed at him since he was about 12 about keeping his room cleaned and its to a point now where I just don't care anymore he makes good grades in school, he stays out of trouble, and all he wants and loves to do is talk to his girlfriend and skateboard and go the mall with his friends on the weekend, so as long as he continue to do those things and take out the trash when I tell him to then I dont care how his room looks as long as he keeps the door shut, for he does his own laundry here where we live he is learning to be his own man by me, for his father is incarcerated so being a single mother I can't fuss about every little thing so hey the room is as is there are just somethings about boys you can't win with, I have a hard enough time making him keep his own body clean so as long as he is good on that and the grades are good I am satisfied besides in just a few years he will be off to college and his room will become my office/guess room....
Good Luck!

1

By Pat Nickerson
- Posted on Sep 16, 2011

964

Almost every child goes through this stage. Mine did. However, every Saturday morning, they didn't budge outside the house until they cleaned their room totally, did their chores (laundry, dishes, etc.) and then they got to go out, got a ride, and/or got their allowances. They didn't like that, the choice was not "gastapo", just do it more often. :)

1

By mary branham
- Posted on Sep 13, 2011

680

I don't know if anything will work , My Son and I quarled about this all the time . Nothing ever worked . The only thing to do was several times a year I went in and cleaned it up myself . He was good to help with the house work if I asked but not his room . So several times a year when I was doing heavy cleaning I had him help me he was great at windows and mirrors . SO it was a trade off . But he never knew it . Sometimes you just have to work it out .

1

By Ruth Yonkin
- Posted on Sep 10, 2011

08

my son lives like a pig - I have cleaned his room and his sister has cleaned his room but it goes right back to a pigsty. I have decided that must be how he wants to live so I shut the door!!!! I bought an airfreshener and make sure I get the wet towels off the rug. My husband and I have already accepted the fact that we are going to have to redo the room when he moved out - new sheetrock, floors, doors - he has trashed it. We told him when he gets his first house we are coming over to do the same to his place........payback baby!!!! LMAO

1

By Viola Register
- Posted on Sep 9, 2011

08

I have five children, two still live at home. My son who still lives at home is 17 and all of his friends come to our house to eat dinner and many nights to spend the night. One of his friends couldnt get along with his stepmom so he moved in. Their room when everybody hangs out is a total mess, which is almost every night. But I am the type of mom who cleans it evry morning after they leave for school.. I do make them pick up their room, put clothes in the dirty clothes hamper and I don't allow food in the room, but I do straighten the room every morning so that it looks presentable to whoever visits and it also makes the boys feel good when they come home from school. They're still kids!!

1

By Rhonda Johnstone
- Posted on Sep 8, 2011

18

I have this problem, my son is 16 and can't find his hamper or trash can. His window screen has been taken out of the window. When his floor becomes covered with clothes, whether they are clean or dirty, out the window they go. Everyone in my house does their own wash, so he has more to wash. As far as the trash on the floor, under his blankets and onto his bed. Before he gets in his bed at night, he has to clean it off and find a trash can. If he doesn't, He knows the trash can will find a way onto his bed the following morning. Sure the trash on his sheets is nasty, but it gets clean sheets on the bed too.

1

By Aretha McCroskey
- Posted on Sep 7, 2011

29

I would tell mine that I would come in and clean your room after that I wouldn't have any problems because they knew if I had to come in they're room then what I found on the floor under the bed or on the floor in they're bathroom I would throw it in the trash and yes I would because I had other rooms in the house to clean and they're two rooms was off the list. After that it wasn't a big problem

1

By Elizabeth Bergeron
- Posted on Sep 7, 2011

134

Interesting thoughts. I'm on my 6th teenager and all but the first is a girl. Now girls are just messy. Boys spill out more, at least that is my experience. Those still living at home are expected to keep their rooms clean, vacumed and picked up. They do their own laundry on an assigned day and if they miss they have to wait until the following week to get it done. That has kept them on their toes! My 20 year old is the worst!! She leaves food, plates and cups in her room which is against the rules. It's a challenge to get her on track! My kids make their beds each morning and pick up clothes before heading off to work or school. No friends if the room is not clean. Those who have left home and set up their own homes are very neat and clean although they were not so at home which means they will take pride in their own places at some point! Don't give up! Stay on it! Try to enjoy your teen inspite of themselves!! :)

Before you start punishing him you might consider helping him clean it the first time. Sometimes it is hard for kids/teens to figure out how to organize their stuff. I know that I was bad at it my whole life. My parents would tell me to clean my room and I would stare at it baffled, without any clue where to start or what to do. I have had to read and watch videos to figure out how to organize my stuff in order to keep it clean. If your son is like me he may just not know how to keep his room clean. If you help him organize it so that everything has a home then he will probably have a much easier time keeping it clean.

I don't mind if he has things all over the place as long as it's "clean" I don't want dishes left in there or trash. If he takes care of those things, he can keep his room a mess.

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By Marsha Sinclair
- Posted on Oct 7, 2012

112

I am guilty of not being consistent with my 14 year old in getting him to clean his bedroom, but starting today this changes. So in answer to the question I'll say "yes, to an extent". Dirty clothes on the floor and an unmade bed isn't really a big deal. But, an extreme pigsty is a different story.

If my son expects to use my laptop to game online, watch my tv, play video games, have friends over etc, then he can clean his room. Keeping his door closed and ignoring the mess is not an option.There's no reason not to keep the room presentable.

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By Sara Modec
- Posted on Aug 31, 2012

210

Mine too, and incidentally mine was as a teen as well. If I ask him to clean it it is like pulling teeth, and on top of that it appears in the same state of disarray by the next evening.

My strategy is this: He must DO HIS OWN LAUNDRY WEEKLY; if any food items/dishes are found in his room (not taken care of immediately after use) he is responsible for washing the dinner dishes that night ON HIS OWN; he may not go anywhere with friends if his bed is not made, the room is clear of garbage/food stuffs/dishes and his laundry in his hamper or dresser according to filth rating...

his room is still a mess much of the time, but let me tell you, being responsible for your own laundry, and potentially having to wash up dishes (not only his--everyone's) is a motivator in keeping things minimally chaotic in there. :) good luck!

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