Judging Yourself Like a Romance Novel Heroine

Last Sunday, I was standing in line at a local drugstore waiting to pay. It was pouring outside and all I could think about was going home where I could enjoy my iced tea which was sitting in my car and write.

There were two employees working at the cash registers and they each had a customer. I was the next person in line. As soon as the customers paid it was my turn. So, I assumed I had about a five-minute wait. I was wrong. Twenty minutes later, I was still waiting. The problem was, both the customers had a ton of coupons. When one of the coupons didn’t work, they’d run back and get let’s say, a different brand of toothpaste, that took the coupon.
Needless to say, I had no idea when I’d get out of the store. Has that ever happened to you?

So, I was standing there stuck in my head, obsessing about what I wanted to tell the employees who were ringing up the customers, while simultaneously judging myself the entire time. I knew it wasn’t the employees’ fault and I had no idea what the customers’ situation was like at home. I felt bad for wanting to speak up. On the other hand, I just wanted to ask the employees to ask if someone else who worked there could come up front.

I sighed and the woman behind me laughed. She started talking to me saying that she wanted to go home. The rain was supposed to get worse. I looked behind her and saw at least fifteen other customers in line.

But then I took a deep breath and thought about what the heroines I write about in my romance novels would do.

They judged themselves all the time in their heads. Usually, in the first few chapters they’d obsess over everything. They over think and over analyze. It stopped when they begin to think differently.

And thinking differently changed how they lived their lives. They became more confident, more bold in their choices, so they could get what they wanted out of life, whether that be a healthy loving relationship, or their dream career.

So, when it was my turn to pay, I turned around once more to look at the other fifteen customers behind me. And I knew what the heroines I write about would do.

I walked up to the employee, took the things I was buying out of my basket, and very nicely said that I felt bad there were only two employees working the register and if there was anyone in the back that could help them. The employee smiled and called his manager to help. I was so relieved when the manager showed up at the register next to mine and helped the next customer.

The employee then added that they needed to come up with a system when it was busy like now and customers had a ton of coupons. I smiled, thanked him, and took my bags. I left feeling as if I helped the other customers waiting while speaking my truth and taking care of my own needs. And I did it nicely, because I had no idea what the employee’s life was like and I always believe in kindness.

And that’s what one of the heroines in my novels would do.

Do you want to live like a heroine?

Here’s an exercise to live like one.

Exercise

It’s not easy speaking your truth and making sure your needs are met. But my heroines do both. Here’s how I can help you:

Stand in front of a mirror. Look at yourself. I know sometimes this isn’t always easy, but trust me.

While you’re looking at yourself, think of one person in your life that you have unresolved issues with. When you have that person in mind, imagine them in front of you and tell them what you’ve been wanting to tell them, but for whatever reason you haven’t. Maybe it hasn’t been easy for you or maybe you just need a little push to have the courage and speak your truth and have your needs met.

Now’s your chance!

In the mirror, tell that person everything you want to tell them. Everything you’ve held back telling them.

When you feel you’ve said everything, inhale deeply and then exhale. Then thank them.

How do you feel? Do you feel lighter? Better? Take out a piece of paper or journal and write your experience. You can do this exercise whenever you feel you need to speak your truth to someone, but you’re not quite ready to help them.

I hope this helped you! If you need more guidance, please contact me. I’d love to help you further.