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Thursday, July 25, 2013

So, Kids?

Subtitle of this post: No, I am NOT pregnant.

"So, when are you guys going to start having kids?"

Josh and I get this question ALL THE TIME! I hate that question. Personally, I think it's rude, insensitive, and none of your damn business. But we're at the age where a lot of friends/coworkers/acquaintances are having kids. So people ask.

Our usual answer? Not anytime soon.

We're not willing to say we won't ever have kids, but that's definitely not what's right for us right now. Maybe we'll change our minds in a few years. Maybe we won't. Time will tell. Good grief, I'm not THAT old yet.

The only good thing about people asking this question? An opportunity to educate, whether I want to or not. If the people asking know I have Type 1, they often assume that means I can't have kids. So the question turns into a chance to set the record straight.

Diabetes has absolutely NOTHING to do with my lack of desire for a child. I really just don't want any kids right now. That's it, I promise.

I know way too many fantastic, amazing women with diabetes who have children to be afraid. So many beautiful children and beautiful mommies. Healthy kids and healthy pregnancies. Women with diabetes can most definitely have kids.

18 comments:

Congratulations on not revealing your hand to anybody! It takes a lot of restraint to address the question without getting deeply engrossed in a conversation you don't want to have. When my wife and I decided to have our first child, nobody knew we were trying. Not even our parents. After we revealed she was pregnant, some admitted they had expected it, but after giving terse answers like "Maybe, someday..." or "not right now...", they'd stopped asking.

Nobody, and I mean NOBODY expected the second (except for us - he was totally planned). Our philosophy is that when there's news to share on the topic, we'll share it. Until then, you'll get nothing.

Nice post. I was doing research on medical tubes such as FEP tubing for an article that I am writing when I came across your post. I am so glad I did, because I thought me and my boyfriend were the only ones getting asked when we are having kids all the time. I agree with you, I think that is a very rude question to ask. I honestly don't think that is anyone's business but mine and my boyfriend. We are also not ready for that huge change in our lives. Maybe we will someday but maybe we wont. Great comment Scott!

I commend you on writing this out loud!So many people think it's just "no big deal" to ask a very personal question like that.Ryan and I...we don't EVER plan on having kids and I'm not shy about being vocal about that. no one said we HAVE to have kids. "we" meaning the general population. People can still be together without procreating.and not choosing to have kids shouldn't be an opinion other people can get mad at.I'm going on a tangent here......You aren't old, you're right. But really, that's such a crazy personal question.

I've been married to Matt for almost 7 years now, and we've been together since high school, so that's FIFTEEN years of being together. That's literally half my life, holy crap.

But kids? My answer is also "not right now". Ever? I don't know. Seems like all my friends are starting families (now that most of them are married or life-partnered), and the thing I'd like most to give birth to right now is a big ol' manuscript for some kind of book.

Also, my A1C is awful and my finances are meh. I'll do things when I'm good and ready. Or at least ready enough. How many times have people told me that you're never really to have a kid, so I "shouldn't wait too long"? Butt out, people. My body; my decisions.

The spouse and I (married almost 20 years) were asked that a lot too. We wanted to wait until we could afford it (truth is, you can never really afford it). In the end, we didn't have any kids, but our life turned out just great anyway. I think you're smart for doing things in your own time.

Fabulous post! I get asked this a lot and since being diagnosed people ask even more, some even telling me it will be more difficult. Umm, maybe I don't actually want any! I also find it an incredibly personal question. I have told people that having kids is not in my plans and then I get lectured on what I am missing out on! No win situation sometimes.

Even if you do have a kid, people have no problem asking, "So, when are you having another one." Great post. Rude questions annoy me too. If you choose to have children or not is no one else's business. Know what I want for you? Whatever makes you happy.

I know exactly how you feel and get asked that all the time. If we do decide we want children, we don't want them soon, but that was a decision made long before diabetes was a part of my life. After I was diagnosed, a family member told me that people will probably leave us alone about having kids now that I have diabetes. I was floored. Taking it as an opportunity to educate is a fantastic approach.In another avenue, I was talking with my OB about diabetes and some of my personal goals and she took my goal for my a1c to mean that I was wanting to get pregnant and assured me that I would need an a1c that low for a healthy pregnancy... I said, "I know, I want it for my health."