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One of the most beautiful of this weeks offerings. I once sat on a mountain top and waited three days for it to rain. We collected rainwater in a tarp and filled our canteens and hiked out of there. Your story really brought back memories. We are left with the temporary relief granted by the rain, but the crushed ankle tells me the end has only been postponed.

Brian, this is incredibly vivid. I love all the description you threw into the piece. This picture has evoced a lot of description from many people, but you took me right into the mind of your character, his desperation and hallucinations. It’s a feast for the senses, but so easily wrought that nothing feels forced in (I often find smells in particular feel like the writer’s going “ooh, I’d better introduce smells” and this doesn’t at all).
I’m worried for him – is this rain real? And even if it it, will it make a difference to his fate?

Thanks so much, that’s a great compliment (and all the better because I know how well you know your stuff)! I think you’re right to be worried, since so much of the relief he feels seems hallucinated, but I think there’s reason to be hopeful too.

Brian,
You’re the Flash Fictioneer of the week to me. Course I haven’t read them all, but this one is impressive. It has so many things going for it. The Zuni tie-in, the downward spiral, and descriptions that just blew me away. You really show you’re a writing mofo in this one. You created something beautiful in 100 words. Thanks for reading and commenting on my story.
Ron

HI ~ Ron (Bridges) said it all. I agree…you get the FF award this week…(even though I’ve not read them all either). It’s the depth and beauty you managed to create in so few words This late bloomer learns and thanks you. Appreciate your translation.