A network of worthy institutions and people sustains our exciting arts scene -
but every one of them is being squeezed by austerity.

There is rejoicing up and down the land! The shortlist drawn up by the Arts Fund for Museum of the Year covers as broad a reach of the country as you could wish: Scotland, Devon, Surrey and Yorkshire. How’s that to counter the allegations by local whingers that “it all happens in London”? This is so clearly not the case and hasn’t been for a long time.

The Watts Gallery near Guildford, the Royal Albert Memorial Museum in Exeter, the Scottish National Portrait Gallery in Edinburgh and the Hepworth Wakefield Gallery in Yorkshire have all embraced innovation, adventurous programming and resourceful marketing.

There’s something else they have in common, too: each has recently enjoyed a well-funded overhaul, or, in the case of the Hepworth, set-up funds. Examine the small print and you’ll see honourable mentions of the Heritage Lottery Fund, the city council, the Arts Council, Renaissance, Museums and Libraries Association, as well as other sponsors. And of course the wonderful Arts Fund, which takes in private donations and gives out money to ensure that outstanding art goes to places where it can be seen by everyone.

It’s a network of these worthy institutions and people that sustains the exciting arts scene we have today. The problem is that every one of them is suffering badly from the austerity squeeze. If not just one, but all of your donors are reducing their giving, think how precarious the future is. That’s the predicament facing every arts institution in this country.

So the Chinese want to be more like us. That’s the implication of the news that rich Chinese parents are shelling out good money to have their children brought up with English ways. The project is being reported as something of a “charm offensive”. So no, they won’t be studying our crowd behaviour at football matches, nor the moment they open the doors at the Harrods sale. They won’t be piling onto the buses at rush hour or making a dash for the deckchairs the moment the sun comes out in the park.

BE Education is a company that offers to enhance the chances of foreign students when they come to Britain, helping to ease them into small talk and casual kindnesses. It was set up in 2003 by someone who comes from that hothouse of charm, Eton College.

I fancy I can tell an Old Etonian at 20 paces by the sheer power and style of their charm. They all have it: it exudes from them, a heady mix of copious good manners, attentive but not intrusive interest in other people, and a relaxed grace that makes the rest of us feel like bumbling idiots. The problem is, it is always the same sort of charm, an Identikit quality which makes telling the nice guys from the villains something of a dilemma. Compare and contrast Guy Burgess, Lord Lucan, the mercenary Simon Mann, Hugh Laurie, George Orwell and eight members of the Government. Probably charmers every one!

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Getting older means that suddenly, certain concerns come together. Earlier this week I was at the Royal Free having a hearing test. Later, I had an appointment at the hairdressers. They come together in the way I decide to deal with my failing ability to hear properly. My hearing is getting worse: at the hit show Matilda, the high-pitched singing of its 12-year-old stars was quite beyond my range of audibility. At the quick-fire farce Noises Off, which was full of shrieking exclamations and squeals, I was missing half the jokes.

Something must be done. Small but inconspicuous technological aid is needed, and that’s where the hairdressing comes in. Pony tails and cropped cuts are things of the past anyway, but I realise I will never again wear my hair in a chignon.