If women actually paid for these services, I'd work this job and make bank.

Just lie down next to a random woman, let her cuddle next to me, rub her back, and say nice things to her.

I wouldn't feel dirty at all - plus you get paid to take naps!

Until Rexana the Terror of the Iron Curtain walks in and grabs you by the package saying in the voice of an angry linebacker: You're gonna make me and my sister feel PRETTY, big boy! ... AT THE SAME TIME!

You look over and Gruntilda She-Bitch the Unclean is looking at you with something akin to cannibalistic hunger in her eyes.

I think at that point, I'd look back on all the choices in my life that could have possibly led up to that moment and say: Probably should write a book about this.

Until Rexana the Terror of the Iron Curtain walks in and grabs you by the package saying in the voice of an angry linebacker: You're gonna make me and my sister feel PRETTY, big boy! ... AT THE SAME TIME!

You look over and Gruntilda She-Bitch the Unclean is looking at you with something akin to cannibalistic hunger in her eyes.

I think at that point, I'd look back on all the choices in my life that could have possibly led up to that moment and say: Probably should write a book about this.

Until Rexana the Terror of the Iron Curtain walks in and grabs you by the package saying in the voice of an angry linebacker: You're gonna make me and my sister feel PRETTY, big boy! ... AT THE SAME TIME!

You look over and Gruntilda She-Bitch the Unclean is looking at you with something akin to cannibalistic hunger in her eyes.

I think at that point, I'd look back on all the choices in my life that could have possibly led up to that moment and say: Probably should write a book about this.

goddamn! Is that a banana suit? If so, your Kung Fu is better. Rexana will be pleased.