At the top of the mountain, and…..drop.

I have just had the biggest piece of shit happened to me, and I promise, if I tell you what it is, you could only say sorry and sigh.

It is worse when you can’t do anything about it, and no one else can.

At the same time, yesterday I was thinking when a person hiked to the top of a mountain, say, at the top of one of the planes of Grand Canyon, how should one feel.

There are normally two types of feelings, one, is like what the travel programme presenters would say, that the earth and the world, is under my feet; and the other feeling would be that in comparison to this marvellous world God has created (or however you want to interpret it), that I appear to be insignificant.

One makes you feel big and accomplished, the other one makes you feel tiny weeny.

In light of the shit incident that just happened to me I felt humble in front of the world. I am not as wise, as mature, as accomplished as I thought I was. One simply cannot know everything.

I feel small, fragile, vulnerable.

I also thought about this shit thing that happened to me, maybe it is shit, but it is afterall a first world problem. People often say think about the really life threatening problems in the third world blahblah, but what I think is that, even within the first world, there are way worse problems. Someone losing their love ones in an accident, or some gambler who cannot quit and lead himself to real troubles, people’s house got burnt down and lost their limbs and memories, along with everything else…..Loads of things can happen that’s beyond our control.

In comparison to these first world problems, I feel like my first world problem, despite it is the biggest I have ever had, can’t be as big as it seems.

That might be a comforting measure, but well I can still afford good food and drinks. I am not hurt, I am not injured, I am not dead, my heart is not broken neither.

This shit won’t beat me, and I will have a good weekend, and a very good rest of my life. And I am grateful for the support of the people around me, and God, too, you are good.

Btw, you know that my retirement year is actually 2058? Jeeez, still a long way to go.