The food at Verizon Center

Dueling Verizon Center food stories over the past few day. First Ted Leonsis posted a blog item about changes to the VIP seating sections at the Phonebooth, which included a mailing that went out advertising VIP full season ticket packages.

Among the benefits (which also include VIP parking and in-seat waitservice) are a premium food menu that features Artisan and Farmstead Cheeses with Lavash Flatbread and Crackers. So yeah, we're finally mixing artisan cheese with Wizards basketball.

(There are also 16 courtside Owner's Seats, which include way more benefits and cost $1,500 per game.)

Then, over the weekend, ESPN.com released a comprehensive review of the food-safety records at NBA, NHL, MLB and NFL venues in the U.S. and Canada. A full 100 percent of Verizon Center's vendors were found to have critical violations, with mouse droppings at at least 10 sites. Funny, since I often sit back and reflect on the Wizards, and think "such waste." Also, Sports By Brooks pointed out that Verizon Center recently prohibited outside food in an effort to protect food-safety standards.

I'm sure this is just terrible, though I'd probably keep eating all the same foods I ate before. Though can you imagine the sort of stuff I'd write if the Nats had a 100 percent mouse dropping policy, or, heaven forbid, the Redskins? My head would definitely explode.

And listen, due to some unimaginably unfortunate scheduling, I'm out of town at the beach right now. I'm going to try my hardest not to blog about anything, at least until Albert Haynesworth shows up on Thursday and tosses the entire Redskins operation into a fiery pit of doom. I've had very very poor luck boycotting this blog in the past, but I'd ask for your patience and understanding. This is gonna be way worse for me than for you. Before I leave, a zillion things I was meaning to link to:

* Rolling Stone's much-loved Matt Taibbi goes insane while writing about Clinton Portis, arguing that as he went from a superstar to someone insignificant, he "turned into a less coherent cross of Flavor Flav and Dennis Rodman, regaling the D.C. sports press with an interminable and pre-adolescent Halloween costume act" and saying Portis is "often speaking via characters." Except he hasn't done that in years, and when he did it, he was still awesome. Plus, it was fun. Chill out. (Extreme Skins)

* Speaking of Portis, he had an all-white party over the weekend. In honor of Taibbi's rant, I'll go ahead and support Portis's right to party. (D.C. Fab)

Pollin family failed to continue making the payoffs after Abe's death. Jsut take a look at the records from previously years.

Fedex has the worse food sanitation I have ever seen. Worse than anything I ever when deployed overseas at forward fire bases or on a ship. Obviously someone is taking care of the PG County food inspectors there. I had collateral duty once as the food safety and sanitation officer. Danny is losing big money by not charging extra for snot dogs!

I'm failing to see what banning outside food has to do with food safety standards. I thought (see also Redskins) it had everything to do with increasing revenues at the fan's expense. Do people take their outside food behind the counter of the concession stand and contaminate the hot dogs?