Premier League to introduce nailguns for referees

The start of the new season will see FA Premier League officials better equipped to handle encroachment at free kicks, announced Chief Executive Richard Scudamore.

Following extensive trials at St George's Park the FA has decided that vanishing spray is not as effective as issuing referees with nailguns which they will use to mark out a line ten yards from the ball.

"If anyone's toes get in the way it's their own stupid fault," said Scudamore.

Meanwhile an experimental scheme to discourage diving by allowing referees to taser errant forwards has been discontinued. "The equipment is just too bulky for referees to carry," said Scudamore, "so we've given it to the assistants."