Needy Parent
I have a student who's mother wants something ALL of the time. I am friends with this parent outside of school. We attend the same church. She also had my personal phone number prior to her son being in my class. She is constantly sending me texts and calling my phone after school hours while I'm at home spending time with my family. She has questions about her son school related things. How can I tell her to please contact me through my school email, school phone, or through the behavior sheet that is sent home daily? When I get home I do not want to be bothered with school stuff.

I have been involved in a similar situation. The parent did not realize it was causing as much stress as it was once I got home with my family. I would send an email to all parents, so that she doesn't feel targeted. In the email I would just say that this is a reminder that I am available via email, school phone, or through the daily behavior sheet. Please contact me during school hours from 8-4 or whatever your school hours may be. We are have a great year so far! Please feel free to contact me!

I have been involved with parents like this, as well. When you receive a text, a plausible solution could be answering the parent's question the following day through your school email or the behavior sheet you've already created and use. Simply answer the questions without elaboration through your preferred communication means. After the text messages and phone calls during non school hours go unanswered until the following school day, the parent may realize the burden he or she is causing by contacting you elsewhere. I know several parents like to have the thread of communication in one place. Therefore, if your are replying through your preferred method, rather than what is convenient for the parent, changes will most likely occur, so that all communication may be found in one place. For example, (text message during non school hours) "Mrs. A, Johnny is confused on his math homework. Can you please explain the directions, so that I may help him?" Wait until the following school day to email a response from your work email without elaboration or apologies for not answering the text message. "Mrs B, I talked with Johnny about the confusion on his math homework. Please email me if he continues to have problems."

I think this solution would work if you kept the communication during school hours only. If the mother ever questioned why you took so long since you are friends i would think you could just be honest and tell her that school communication has to be during school hours.

If you are friends outside of school then approach this is in a friendly but serious tone. Just let her know that while you are more than happy to talk to her about her student it needs to be done through the proper channels.

I think it is important to let all of parents know your communication policies at the beginning of the year. Let everyone know that you can be contacted via school email or by phone and that you will respond within 24-48 hours. If the situation persists you can send a friendly reminder to all of your parents. You want to make sure that no one feels singled out.

Since you are friends outside of school, I feel there are many openings for you to confront her respectfully. You could send a formal letter home to her asking her for a conference and you can then talk to her about the situation in a formal setting and format. You could also approach her in a more personal setting, such as at church. After or before you could ask her to please use your teacher contact information for teacher related subjects and use your personal phone number for other matters. Don't make her feel attacked, tell her it's alright, that you just would like to have work and personal matters separate in order to keep more organized. Try to be relatable, she has a family as well, tell her you don't get to spend a lot of time with them when too many people contact you (this makes it seem like she isn't the only one to make this mistake) and that you'd just really like to focus more on your family when not at work (this will relate to her as a mother).

I would kindly let her know that you cannot discuss school things with her outside of parent conferences or your assigned planning time. You have to have your time to your self. I would also state that you have to be fair to all students. Talking with another parent and providing an extra amount of communication is not fair to others.

I think that it might be smart to send out a message to all of the parents through an email or a news letter that goes home with the kids. You can address you concerns about parents contacting you outside of school hours. This way the one parent does not feel targeted.

Just explain that after school hours you would like to focus on your family and personal life but you would be happy to talk to them during office hours/ school hours and answer any questions they had.