Friday, June 06, 2008

CARTOON VS MAN or FUN VS NONE

Which one is evil?

Remember your evil aunt or uncle who would give you socks and underwear for Christmas instead of a toy? What causes someone to do such an awful thing?There is a certain type of human that doesn't understand kids and fun. The same kind of problem applies to coloring books.Here is a great one from the 40s. It looks like a Clampett cartoon. Porky even has an ass-head! Whoever made this book understands kids.

When I was a kid, I would only color in coloring books that starred cartoon characters. Any other kind of coloring book was a lie, created by monsters who hated kids.

I especially loved the coloring books that had beautifully painted covers, as these would inspire us to color carefully within the lines and have high standards in all things in life.This kid grew up to become an animation critic, because he couldn't quite cut it.

But then....there came the ugliest of inventions: MAN coloring books!This kind of thing had to be invented by the same weirdo who gave kids socks and underwear and called them presents. "Here kids! Color your Dad!"Color the Man and his hairy baby.Color seed of Man.Here's fish with man face to color.Here is man with Mammoth Chipmunk. Who will win?I can't imagine anything being more fun for a kid to color than a blind man, can you?

I remember as a kid wondering about how this kind of stuff ever got made and what kind of retard would think a kid would like it? I thought "Thank God, the animated cartoons aren't like this!" Then came Scooby Doo, the 70s and my life and all my beliefs about fun were shattered.

Whole empires have been built around the socks and underwear entertainment theory: Filmation, Dic, Dreamworks.You can bet 99% of the executives in cartoons give their kids socks, underwear and tax forms for their birthdays!

61 comments:

It's bad enough they made it about "Boring-Man", but then the drawings are awful too, just to make sure it was no fun. Can you imagine what happened to the poor kids who had to look at that junk? Any coloring book that is not a cartoon should be burned.

Hilarious post! I completely agree. I often see stuff like the man coloring books in stores and on kids menus in restaurants. I think, who in the world would buy this crap and fall for it? But unfortunately, kids don't know better. Whenever I end up stuck with this crap as my only avenue of entertainment, I just draw all the characters smoking cigars.

How sad for the children who got socks and underwear cartoons growing up. I actually would watch pretty much anything and everything so at least I wasn't completely brainwashed. Thanks, John, for writing this blog...it's one of the most valuable resources in the vast online cartoon world. I wish there were more great guys like you around.

I fully support man coloring books. Coloring books should teach kids important life lessons and prepare them for their future, they shouldn't be brainless time wasters used to sell my kid some Saturday morning cartoon show.

I'm working tirelessly to mold my son into the man I am so he can one day buy a luxury home, fill it with the finest furnishings, and marry the girl who will make him the envy of his friends.

Besides kids are going to color anyway! Just put crayons in their hands and make them sit at their miniature desks. I figure while they're scribbling wax everywhere they may as well learn about physical disabilities and botany too. You're killing two birds with one stone with those coloring books. You get a moments peace and they're learning something USEFUL for once. What could possibly be wrong with that?

You don't even have a child of your own so how can you possibly understand!

The last thing I saw that remotely resembled that was a Mister Rogers coloring book. Although, to his credit, there was only one picture of Rogers himself to colour; the rest were the Make Believe characters in a nice, cartoony style.

But yeah, who want's to colour a trolley?

And that colour scheme on the Hound pages suggests to me that guy later worked for Tiny Toons ( no offense, Eddie ).

- trevor.

PS: Man, Clampett and McKimson-penned drawings! What a rarity! Betcha Dave Feiss didn't do the drawings for the Cow and Chicken books!

Coloring a blind man with a seeing eye dog? OH JOY!Today it would be color the gay wedding scene!I remember seeing a bunch of P.C. coloring books in the late 80's.I always hated it when adults market stuff towards kids with an agenda.Even cartoon tv commercials like the ones for Breakfast cereals like Lucky Charms,etc had to have the obligitory handicapped kid in a wheelchair and of course a token black or asian kid!

Any parent that would buy a boring coloring book like that for a kid,obviously couldnt remember what it was like to be one.

Hey John, at Millie's Pancake House in Tucson, they have TONS of these Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig and Hanna-Barbera coloring books for the kids to play with while you wait for your food. It's incredible! Another reason why that place is so cool!

I think every kid shared your exact feelings on that one. I tried to be a thoughtful kid so I really tried to find things to like about Man coloring books when someone gave me one. I would give it a sporting effort but the drawings seemed engineered to be boring! And this kind of coloring book even smelled different from normal coloring books.

I liked the concept of coloring dinosaurs and horses, but somehow these artists managed to mess that whole idea up, so I'd do maybe two pages and give up on it. And go draw my own pictures instead.

My family used to have a lot of fun with coloring books. Even my mom and older sister would take a crack at a couple pages, injecting their own color schemes. (I still remember my mom coloring Pinocchio with GREEN pants.)

This de-evolution kinda reminds me of what's happening to cereal these days:

I want to tell you how profound an effect your blog has on me. I'm 17 and I love drawing, but I don't really know much about it. Like any good kid, I used to collect comics, and though I don't have the space or money right now to really pursue drawing, I like to think that it plays a big part in my life. I grew up watching Looney Tunes and enjoying Richard Elson's Sonic the Hedgehog, and though I never identified any deep, almost ideological reasons for these feelings, I began to notice differences between what I knew and loved as vibrant cartoons and... well, insults to children like Scooby Doo.

I remember Scooby Doo always being boring, and it wasn't just because of the subject matter, though the writing was poor. It was the animation style. Nothing unexpected happened to these robotic, lifeless characters. I don't even understand why the colours are so dull! I always thought that they could at least try to make up for lazy animation with primary colours. Apparently not.

As someone without your experience, reading and understanding of this industry, it pleases me that there are 'professionals' who share my opinions. In fact, it looks as though I might be justified for thinking these things!

As I said, I can't claim to understand many of these issues in detail, but your blog posts always seem to strike a chord with me. Thank you for writing.

I was weird, I liked those colouring books with geometric tessellating shapes. They encouraged creativity, abstract shit, oh yes, and an understanding of trippy geometric formations. My parents were hippies you see.

with the serious boring man things, I imagine perpetrating rude satiric mockery on every page. There's no other way.

I actually remember the horror of realistic coloring books. I also hated coloring books featuring no-name characters that were just stylishly ugly. That man coloring book is just horrendous. Look at all of those lines that discontinue and not close together. Kids would know to color within the lines, but what do they do with trash like this?

I know you don't care for Star Wars and all, but I think showing a live action example doesn't really support your point very well. It would be better to use images from the upcoming "animated" feature .

The guys who wrote and designed that give their kids gonorrhoea for Christmas and birthdays. >:P

I just wanted to add that the Quickdraw coloring book is probably the best in the bunch. Each one of those pages imply some fun backstory to it. With very few lines you get a whole lot of food for your kid's imagination.

Wow, this took me back. I remember those MAN coloring books - horribly boring to look at, read, AND color - not the least of which was because it was impossible to color in the lines with crayons because the drawings were already overly detailed. It's pretty freakin' hard to color something drawn by some guy who doesn't give a crap if you can color it or not. Did I mention boring? Why would anyone think this is a good idea? Aghh.

Jinkies, this post was funny. I laughed out loud over my zinfnadel! However...Joohnnnn, why can't you appreciate different styles and genres? This world would be so boring if everything was the same or just a slight variant of a set ideal. Shame on yououuu.I love 40's cartoons as much as you do, but I also love action adventure cartoons like Josie and the Pussycats, Superfriends, Bruce Timm, Transformers, G.I. Joe, Jem and anime.

I feel the same way about my sentences on Futurama and Dilbert John. However, Futurama is like some cult cartoon now. Go fig. Kids like what they like.Hey, are the Man coloring books text books? That's what they seem like to me. I think I had books like those in elementary school. I liked them, because I got to learn kiddie science as I colored. Yeah, I know. I'm on my way to being an unfun exec. Draw a picture of Sody shooting me if you need to vent.

Man, those "Man" coloring books sucked. "Oh look, a crappy horrible looking detailed man. I don't want to color him, but the book says I must." Those color books are turning out kids into midget accountants. I have no idea what I just said, either.

peggy- "I fully expect one day to see a George Liquor coloring book someday."

I'm not a big Star Wars fan, but I think those movies are enjoyable. They are life-action stuff that can't really be compared with the other things you're talking about. The old trilogy is actually kind of funny, new one is overly serious, but I don't hate it either.

Hmm... the name of that "Beany" colouring book, when combined with its logo's yellow and red colour scheme, reminds me of something...

Speaking of which, I was wondering how familiar you are with British comics like The Beano and Buster? It'd be interesting to see you recommend some British cartoonists' artwork as good examples to follow, for a change. :)