Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon has been suspended indefinitely after an altercation with general manager Ed Wade turned violent. Things got ugly when Chacon refused to go with Wade to the manager's office to discuss Chacon's move from the starting rotation to the bullpen. According to Chacon, Wade responded to the subordination by yelling at the pitcher.

“He started yelling and cussing," Chacon said of Wade. "I’m sitting there and I said to him very calmly, ‘Ed, you need to stop yelling at me. Then I stood up and said 'you better stop yelling at me.' I stood up. He continued and was basically yelling and stuff and was like, ‘You need to (expletive) look in the mirror.’ So at that point I lost my cool and I grabbed him by the neck and threw him to the ground. I jumped on top of him because at that point I wanted to beat his (butt). Words were exchanged.”

In layman's terms, Shawn Chacon choke-slammed his boss. God that must have felt good. If that's not the American dream, then I don't know what is.

I can't even count the number of times and ways I've wanted to lose my shit on my boss. But those were the old days. Now I'm my own boss. I come and go as I please. I do what I want. I make my own decisions, like what kind of Ramen should I have for dinner every night this week? Look at me, free as a bird! Free from the confines of medical and dental insurance!