FIBRE ARTIST, KNITWEAR DESIGNER, BREEDER AND EXHIBITOR OF LHASA APSO, MEDIUM, PHYSICALLY HANDICAPPED, SURVIVOR OF CHILDHOOD ABUSE. NO RELIGION OR SET POLITICAL VIEWS. STUDENT OF LIFE. FEEL WELCOME TO COMMENT. DISSENTING VIEWS NOT REASON TO CENSOR. ABUSIVE OR THREATENING COMMENTS WILL NOT BE PUBLISHED. YOU MAY CONTACT ME AT :
APSO AT TANTRA-APSO DOT COM

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

I think there are going to be a few changes around here and that I will be getting back to the original purpose of this blog the sharing of my knitting and dyeing adventures but also sharing the journey of recovering from childhood abuse and I have come to realise that many of my readers were victims of other forms of abuse and may still found solace here.I have had to stop showing my dogs. This has been what has kept me from being able to knit and dye like I used to which I missed terribly.The decision to quit showing dogs has been a very painful and difficult decision to come to but an absolutely necessary one. Before my last doctor left which if you didn't read it on Facebook left me feeling bereft and emotionally a mess. I was not expecting it and I later learned that the whole practice had been told that they were not to tell me and that she would tell me herself at our very last appointment because she knew how I would react. At first I pretended she hadn't said it and I carried on talking about how I was. She had arranged a future meeting between me and her and my new Dr and my husband because he is also going to be her patient. By that time I had worked through enough to see the situation in an adult way and that I was not being abandoned and that my doctor was a human being who had advised to live and decisions to make for which he did not need my permission. I also found out because I asked if she had received the letter I wrote her telling her how much of a different she had made to my life that she too found it very difficult to leave me.So give me a little bit of time and this blog will return more to its original purpose but bear in mind I have changed as a person, I have grown, and I fully intend sharing that which I find will be helpful to others and not just myself. There will be staff I will not share because despite my openness I do not share everything because I have other people to think about. I really do apologise to those survivors who came regularly to my blog only to be disappointed that yet again I had not written anything. I would not change what I did because I have grown a great deal in the last few years and I have learned much more which I can share.And for the fibre- artist people among you you will definitely be seeing more of that. I believe I have made the right decision now to stop showing my dogs. I fulfilled the dream that that 12 year old boy had in that I owned a top winning dog and I also bred a top winning dog and the dogs I have around me at home are all top-quality dogs.I am not making any promises because I don't know where I am headed healthwise nor life wise.