50th diaversary

December 18, 2013 is my 50th diaversary . Many years ago, I would see a story each year in Diabetes Conquest about an elderly person receiving a Kellion Medal and dismiss it, thinking “I’ll never live long enough to get one of those.”

It was a bit of a shock to realise 18 months ago that my 50th diaversary was on the horizon.

Every time I thought “50 years…” I would tear up, feelings of distress arose, before even a specific memory. There is a lot of trauma and suffering in diabetes. I had to find some positives, so I chose to commemorate this diaversary with a Gratitude List. Of course I would rather not have diabetes, but a lot has improved in 50 years, and there is a lot to be grateful for.

50 things I’m grateful for about diabetes:
I am grateful …
1. to diabetes for showing me that I am the only person who can take responsibility for my wellbeing
2. that I have the knowledge and intelligence to be able to do all the calculating and balancing to manage my diabetes.

I am grateful …
3. for access to good, fresh, healthy food.
4. that I have the knowledge and skills to prepare good, fresh, healthy food.
5. that diabetes has taught me to observe what is going on in my body.
6. that diabetes has taught me to think about and understand what is going on in my body.
7. that diabetes has caused me to learn to be very articulate (originally with health professionals).
8. to diabetes for teaching me that my body is an ecosystem; that everything I eat, drink, do and think has an effect.
9. to my first acupuncturist for introducing me to the dietary principles of TCM which give me an extra tool to fine-tune my wellness.

I am grateful …
10. that I learned early in life that I need to be active to feel good
11. that I can afford a gym membership
12. for public transport to travel to the gym
13. for my knowledge of Pilates to help maximise the effectiveness of insulin
14. for my knowledge of yoga to manage my musculo-skeletal wellbeing
15. that the side-effect of all this activity – to manage my metabolism – is that I’m in good physical shape.

I am grateful…
16. to diabetes for showing me that qualified mainstream health professionals field of expertise is illness; not wellbeing
17. to meet the occasional health professional who has a positive, supportive attitude
18. to meet the occasional health professional who can apply a constructive problem solving approach
19. I am grateful to be able to call a brilliant Diabetes Educator when I don’t know what to do anymore.
I am grateful …
20. that diabetes taught me that people who judge do so from ignorance
21. that diabetes taught me that people who blame do so from ignorance
22. that I have moved past the need to be understood
23. that diabetes taught me that controlling behaviour incites rebellion
24. that diabetes taught me that when I rebel I only hurt myself
25. that the culture of control and blame propagated in the past by doctors is gone
26. that the culture of control and blame taught to and perpetrated by parents in the past is gone.

I am grateful …
27. for the contribution of researchers to the body of knowledge of all aspects of diabetes and for the validation of experts who now accept and acknowledge
28. – things I had already learned from observing my diabetes
29. – that hormones do affect bgls
30. – that ‘complex’ carbs are not all equal
31. – that diabetes has a significant mental health impact
32. – that emotions affect diabetes
33. – that diabetes has an effect on relationships
34. to diabetes for teaching me that it is profoundly unselfish to take care of myself,
because it means I won’t be demanding or expecting a lot of services and support in the future.
I am grateful …
35. For the development of finer and sharper needles; injection pain is now rare, it was once normal.
36. for the development of shorter needles so bruising is no longer a daily occurrence
37. for the development of home blood glucose monitoring; so much more dignified and portable than urine testing
38. for the development of insulin glargine, which enabled me to attain a healthy BMI
39. that there are now organisations dedicated to finding a cure
40. I will be incredibly grateful when I experience a permanent cure for t1D.

I am grateful:
41. that all those little bits of aiming to be well ‘now’ have accumulated to a healthier and longer life than I ever imagined
42. for appropriate support, wherever it comes from
43. for non-judgemental support, wherever it comes from
44. for practical support, wherever it comes from
45. for the appropriate, non-judgemental, practical support of my close friends
46. for not having a partner to undermine my diabetes management or destabilise my health
47. to the diabetes online community (doc), for showing me I’m doing well
48. to the doc for breaking down isolation

And, finally, I am grateful:
49. to Renza Scibilia for her Diabetogenic blog
50. to Helen Edwards for her Diabetes Counselling Online blog and forums.

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