Recently, I was lucky enough to be awarded Best Horror Short Story for "Baby's Breath" in the 2014 P&E Readers' Poll. I'm so grateful for everyone who took the time to read the story and vote for me, and especially appreciative for those of you who took the time to leave feedback. It meant a great deal. This award means a great deal.

Yesterday I found out that "Baby's Breath" also made the 2014 Bram Stoker Preliminary Ballot in the category for Superior Achievement in Short Fiction. What an honor. Just last month I upgraded from Affiliate to Active Status in the HWA, and feel truly blessed to be part of such a talented, gracious community of writers, artists, and professionals in the horror industry.

I mentioned recently on Facebook that "Baby's Breath" carried a substantial amount of personal significance to me for a few reasons. In a nutshell, it's a tribute to someone I never met, but have learned to love through the eyes of another. I've come to know this woman from someone who has become a stronger person for all of her weaknesses and the tragedies she faced throughout her short, sad, and pained life. And despite her weaknesses, she also had many strengths.

That said, the Diane in my story is not the same Diane about whom I am speaking. Though based on some fact, I took her story to the extreme--as we often do in horror--and in my own way, sought some vindication for her that she was unable to find on her own.

In addition to basing this story on the real-life story of someone else, an astute friend pointed out that a lot of "Baby's Breath" seems to be an unveiling of some of the emotional, physical, and psychological horrors I faced in the many years following the accident which retired me from teaching at 36 years of age. That friend was right.

There's quite a bit of symbolism in "Baby's Breath" that dwells beneath the uncomfortable, unpleasant, and often unbearable surface of the narrative. Those years following my accident were long, lonely, and excruciating--and coming to terms with the grief of losing a career I had worked and fought so hard to secure was not easy. I had a lot of support from my family and friends, and can't imagine what it must be like for someone to endure such an ordeal without that--so relatively speaking, I always tried to consider myself extremely lucky.

Writing the story was hard. It was only the second I wrote start to finish after emerging from the black hole into which I had fallen after the accident. Years of pain, post-concussive symptoms, surgeries, fighting the nightmare that is worker's compensation, depression . . . there was a time I never thought I would read again, let alone write. Diane's descent into madness, insecurity, paranoia, and reclusivity was likely an exaggerated depiction of what I experienced during that time, though while writing it I'm not altogether sure I was aware of this. I think it takes a step back--or even someone else pointing it out after the fact--to recognize something like this happening in our writing.

Do you ever find yourself unintentionally writing about your own experiences in your work? Writing yourself into your characters?

Like King said, "Fiction is the truth inside the lie."

My "write nights" with Tracy were instrumental in my recovery--as both a functioning human being and writer. I wrote the first paragraph of "Baby's Breath" and had it published as a hundred word piece called "Transference" on Hellnotesin January of last year, and at the prodding of Ann K. Boyer, another good friend, fleshed it out into a short story for the BUGS anthology.

Simon Rumley's praise for "Baby's Breath" in the Foreword did more for me than I can describe in words. But I will say that reading what he said about my work was one of those once-in-a-lifetime moments I will never forget. I'd be remiss not to thank the great Daniel Knauf for his invaluable support both as a friend and professional, as well.

And to all of you who have offered help and assistance along the way--be it through friendship or support of this story and/or other work--thank you. You can't possibly know how much it means to me.

My first "professional" experience assimilating back into the industry was negative and unpleasant to say the least, and if it weren't for the kindness and actual professionalism so many of you showed to outweigh that, it would have been easy to just give up.

But if an accident like the one I had can't keep me down, and cancer can't beat me, one bad apple in the barrel sure isn't going to make me toss the whole thing out. It just makes me appreciate the goodness of the others that much more.

These are some of the kind things readers and peers have said about it:

“The narrator's slow unhinging is perfectly paced and the author pushes against the border of the grotesque just enough to make the story as viscerally disturbing as it is psychologically unsettling . . . A supremely skilled tale of the decomposition of a relationship and the horrifying consequences of failed parenthood.”

“I was in pain the entire time I read this story. A fantastic piece of horror that burrows deep into the psyche as well as the skin.”

“exquisitely grotesque”

“A visceral story that gets right under your skin.”

“The writing is tight and spare . . . The non-sequential narrative is handled effectively, allowing the story to open with a strong hook before rewinding to fill in the details of the germinating horror.”

“engrossing from the first page until the last, and deliciously horrific throughout.”

“short, sharp, emotional and uncomfortable”

“An exquisitely dreadful story.”

“The most chilling short I read all year.”

Of course I am *beyond* thrilled that both "Dandelion Clocks" and Inkblots and Blood Spotsappear on the ballot, as well. We at Villipede are very proud of that collection and honored to be representing Michael Bailey's stellar work. I simply can't say enough about the collection, except that I believe with every fiber of my being that it fully deserves to be on the ballot. You've all heard me rave about it for some time now, and I am pleased to see it among such fine company in its category.

As far as "Dandelion Clocks" goes, well . . . Michael seems surprised it made it through, but I'm not. Again, he's in really good company! But I fell head over heels in love with that novelette and think he deserves a place on the ballot as much as anybody. And the fact that Douglas E. Winter guest-edited that piece makes it even more special to me.

Huge congratulations to everyone on this list. I am so incredibly honored to be included in such company!

Voting for works on the Preliminary Ballot will take place between February 1st and 15th, and the Final Ballot will be announced on February 23rd. Anyone who appears on the Final Ballot will be a Bram Stoker Nominated Author or Artist.

Voting HWA Members: For copies of "Baby's Breath," "Dandelion Clocks," or Inkblots and Blood Spots, feel free to shoot me an email or PM via my contact page. They are also available to download on the HWA Forum.

The lucky winners of the Bram Stoker Awards will be announced on May 9th at the awards ceremony during the 2015 World Horror Convention in Atlanta.

Author & Editor

﻿Sydney Leigh is the evil literary double of a mostly sane writer, editor, photographer, artist, English teacher, and native of the North Shore. Her poetry, short fiction, and reviews have appeared in numerous publications.

Her best friend is a Border Collie, and despite holding degrees in English, Psychology, and Graphic Design, she spends most of her free time doing her teenage son’s laundry and playing rock-paper-scissors with her imaginary roommate, Ted.