This is a continuation of our series looking at the different types of unhealthy parental messages described in the book Cutting Loose, by Dr. Howard M. Halpern. Today we will look at “unloviing parents.”

All of us have had experiences in life where we have felt unloved, misunderstood or uncared for at times. Which, as long as we live in a fallen world will be a universal experience. But, there are those who have experienced parents who seem to have a deficiency in either their ability or desire to be basically loving and caring. It is of these that we speak today.

Euphoric emotions can become addictive

It's not just sex or pornography that some crave compulsively.

Love, too, can be its own addiction.
"Most people don't recognize it. It's just like sexual addiction 15 to 20 years ago," said Stuart Hook, a private practice therapist with the Life Connection Counseling.
Few may have heard of the term, "but it happens," Hook said, adding, "I think maybe more so with women than men, but both ways."
Hook described it as people chasing one relationship after another, with people not recognizing addictive behavior but sometimes recognizing "commitment issues."

If a marriage doesn’t work, what happens after divorce? Divorce is a common occurrence in our culture. A person is left with loneliness, lowered self-esteem, anxiety about the unknowns, and difficulty forming new intimate relationships. The way you chose to handle and recover from your divorce will set the course for the rest of your life. Research has shown that there are 6 common pathways in exiting divorce.

Stress and anxiety comes in various ways and in various amounts. Stress can come in the form of children arguing in the car or a boss wanting a deadline for a project sooner than later. Stress can debilitate individuals and cause a variety of problems. Stress can even come with good changes in life, such as having a baby or getting promoted at work.

Children caught in the middle of a divorce or separation many times feel they are being juggled between homes, schedules and different expectations from each parent. This can lead to feelings of being a burden or inconvenience. Parents can help their children through this difficult time by avoiding some of the common traps in learning to parent together successfully. Parents need to realize they cannot assume a child understands expectations or rules or anything about a divorce or separation situation.

As parents, we want our children and adolescents to behave appropriately and be responsible for their behaviors. When our children and adolescents misbehave, we want them to understand why those behaviors are unacceptable. So, we want to give consequences, but it is important to make sure we are imposing consequences that will alter behaviors. If parents are going to use consequences, they have to realize why they are using consequences and understand the significance of making the consequence “fit the behaviors” if you will.

February 14, Valentine’s Day, is the time of year where we consider romance and its impact on our world. Recently, Janis and I went to a romantic comedy and found, once again, the entire story about the on again off again stumblings of a couple falling in love. It always seems it is not until the last scene that they know the “magic” has struck and as the scene fades the obvious message is, now that we are “in love” the rest of life is “happily ever after”.

If you or your spouse is experiencing extreme ups and downs in your marriage despite constant commitments towards changed behaviors, you may be dealing with an underlying condition called ADHD. ADHD is a neurological disorder that affects the way a person thinks and behaves. The good news! ADHD can be successfully treated when one combines education about the disorder with medication and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Symptoms can be effectively managed, therefore decreasing stressors in the home.

It’s been said that art reflects the culture. If that is true, there seems to be a very interesting trend occurring. Two of the women nominated for a Golden Globe Award for best actress in musical or comedy are women that are 58 years of age. And the interesting part is that the primary role of the character they play is not as someone’s mother. These women are portrayed as vibrant, beautiful women who are interesting both intellectually and physically. While I am not necessarily endorsing either movie, this idea of older women being interesting and attractive is a bit bizarre for a business who considers aging fatal for women.