[What this is: Every year as a public service to those who write about bowl games, I update the same column to help you make sense of all the bowl games, offering comprehensible names and brand-free logos. I’ve now been at it so long that I’ve used up all of the Subsidized Time names]

unchanged

: Hey Carol-Sue, I’ve got a question for you.

: What’s that, April?

: Well you know that last year Lewis and I discovered COMMON LANGUAGE™ for our annual bowl conversations.

: Oh, that’s great! Steve and I use COMMON LANGUAGE™ too. We find their patented, one-of-a-kind Talking Like a Human Being™ technology allows us to share ideas that represent the names of bowl games by assigning comprehensible meanings to sounds instead of letting advertisers choose them!

: Right, well lately Lewis has been wanting to go to the “Hall of Fame Bowl.” But I had to look up what that was on the Internet to know he meant the Outback Bowl.

: Oh. I see.

: Yeah. Like, on one hand, I know what the Outback Bowl is, and Lewis knows what the Outback Bowl is. Even my little brother Mork knows the Outback is that #3 Big Ten vs #3ish SEC game in Florida, even if he’s never heard of the Holiday Bowl.

: So what’s the problem?

: The problem is I feel like if I use the sponsor’s name like that it’ll just encourage bowl game operators to try to get me to stop using COMMON LANGUAGE™.

: Oh, no, you’ve got it all wrong Mary-Sue. You see, the great thing about COMMON LANGUAGE™ is you only have to use whatever works. COMMON LANGUAGE™ is specially formulated to prevent companies from intrusive marketing practices like interjecting themselves into private conversations. But the first rule of marketing is it’s only bad if it’s annoying. If it hinders communication it’s annoying. If it doesn’t, it’s good marketing.

: Also Ryan Nanni is going to be the Bloomin’ Onion for a quarter.

: Also that.

: Okay, you’re off the hook Outback Bowl, presented by OH FLIBBITY!

[Hit THE JUMP for a helpful schedule of all 40 bowl games, when they’re on, why they exist, and where they’re played, with sponsorless logos for all!]

I put out a call for mailbag questions and got enough good ones for a two-parter. I'm still taking them, too: @ me (really!) on Twitter @aceanbender or email me at [email protected] if you've got a basketball question. Heck, let's see if we can make this a three-parter.

Jaaron Simmons must play better defense to see the floor. [James Coller]

My friends and I are baffled by Jaaron Simmons and his lack of PT. IIRC, we went after him. I think coaches even did an in-home visit. Is running Beilein’s offense just too difficult to pick up in a summer of practices?

While the complicated offense is certainly part of the issue, I think the main reason Simmons is on the bench is actually his play on the other end of the floor. In retrospect, John Beilein gave a revealing answer when asked about what adjustments Simmons had to make going from Ohio to Michigan. The first issue to come up wasn't the offensive scheme, but the defensive.

“Oh, boy. First of all, they’re playing man to man," said Beilein. "It’s a very good man to man at Ohio U, but some of the principles are different. He’s trying to learn some of those principles."

Michigan's top priority on defense, part a significant shift in approach over the last two seasons, is to limit opponent three-point attempts. They've been excellent at it, ranking ninth nationally in 3PA/FGA last season and 13th so far this year. The Wolverines are willing to expose their post defense in order to prevent open three-point looks; this forces opponents to try to keep up with M's offense while theoretically playing a far less efficient brand of basketball.

That approach places a major emphasis on sound off-ball defense. In his limited time on the court, Simmons hasn't impressed in that regard. He has a habit of cheating off his man for steals, leading to exactly the kind of shots Michigan doesn't want to allow. On this play, Michigan has two players taking care of OSU's Keita Bates-Diop, but Simmons gambles for a steal anyway and gives up an open three to one of their sharpshooters:

When Simmons is making plays like that, Beilein can't afford to keep him on the floor long enough for him to get settled into the offense. Eli Brooks and Zavier Simpson have both been more assertive and effective on offense of late, too, and Simpson's defense stands out. If Simmons isn't going to separate himself, Beilein doesn't have much reason to play him over the guys who'll still be in the program next year.

[Hit THE JUMP for a look at Moe Wagner's rebounding and the Big Ten outlook.]

A source told Sporting News that Kevin Tolbert, who had served as the team’s strength and conditioning coach the past three seasons, won’t be returning to the Wolverines’ football program in 2018.

A replacement was not immediately known.

Last time around Harbaugh went after Stanford's Shannon Turley but was rebuffed as Turley picked up a nice new contract; he's probably off the table as a result. No other names have been kicked around, really, except the occasional message-boarder bringing up Ol' Gravel Voice Mike Barwis. That seems unlikely, to say the least.

Looking forward to the brief, thrilling window when some guy gets hired and half the lifters on the internet say he's a genius and the other half say he's Mike Gittleson in a Scooby Doo mask. A tradition on par with Flight Aware.

It was perhaps the greatest Heisman field in the history of that award. It included a generational quarterback and a guy everyone thought would be. It had the most talented receiver the game had ever seen. It had the most productive rusher college football had ever seen. And Twenty years ago today the award for the “most outstanding player in college football” finally went to a primarily defensive player. He was just that good.

In 1997, two-way stars like Tom Harmon were a thing of the past or it was something “cute” that guys like Gordie Lockbaum did in D2 football. As Warren Sapp correctly pointed out a few years earlier, the bronzed Heisman statue has a player carrying the ball, not swatting it down.

Charles Woodson challenged that paradigm. You didn’t need to be a senior anymore to win the award. You didn’t need to be a quarterback or a running back, either. The trophy is engraved thusly: “The outstanding College Football Player In The United States.” The instructions given to voters are to choose…

The outstanding college football player whose performance best exhibits the pursuit of excellence with integrity. Winners epitomize great ability combined with diligence, perseverance, and hard work.

It doesn’t say anything about being an offensive MVP; but that was the paradigm. Paradigms had changed before in the history of this award—it used to be so Domer biased that QB Paul Hornung won it in 1956 while going 2-8 and throwing 13 INTs to 3 TDs (Jim Brown finished third). It says outstanding.

Woodson was. Leave aside the highlight reel and look at the effect he had on that defense. Michigan’s D spent most of that season in a Cover 1 with the free safety either shaded over the side opposite Woodson, or running around in a robber. Students made a shirt (now available on the MGoBlogStore) that noted “75% of the Earth is covered by water, the rest is covered by Woodson.” They weren’t far off. Ask any coach if he thinks he could get away with this:

Back in 1997, few in America believed the 1,000 voters had finally figured out what that truly meant, especially when they had a nice, easy senior career candidate who “deserved” it for turning down the NFL and virtually repeating his 1996 performance.

It may have been ugly. Texas may have been shorthanded. For Michigan, though, tonight's 59-52 road victory over the Longhorns capped a huge week for their tournament chances.

While a defensive slugfest wasn't the unlikeliest scenario, I don't think anybody expected this game to play out the way it did. Both teams struggled to hit from beyond the arc, but Michigan scored more efficiently than a tall Texas squad on two-pointers, especially as they built a 12-point halftime lead. The Longhorns led 2-0 at the under-16 timeout; they wouldn't lead again. Facing five-star skyscraper Mo Bamba, Michigan won the battle of the boards.

After the achingly slow start, Muhammad-Ali Abdur-Rahkman got the team rolling with a corner three and never looked back. The Wolverines, especially MAAR, got more confident attacking the basket even with Bamba protecting the rim, and they were able to hit a surprising number of tough shots. Of Michigan's 14 first-half field goals, 12 were two-pointers.

The lead didn't remain comfortable for long as Texas made multiple second-half surges. Duncan Robinson and Isaiah Livers both had trouble slowing down Dylan Osetkowski, who led the way for Texas with 17 points on 6-for-11 shooting. He was the only Texas player who could maintain any sort of effeciency on offense, however; the rest of the team went 10-for-25 on twos and 3-for-16 from downtown.

After Osetkowski went on an early second-half tear, Michigan answered with an 11-0 run spearheaded by Charles Matthews and Moe Wagner. Shortly after the run ended, however, Wagner rolled his right ankle over Bamba's foot, and he was quickly ruled out of the game. Seemingly given new life, Texas went on a 7-0 run of their own to close the gap to seven.

As he had all night, MAAR came up big, though perhaps a tad lucky; his banked-in three-pointer ended the run and all but ended the game with 4:53 remaining. He'd add one more tough bucket and a free throw to keep UT at bay, finishing with team-highs of 17 points and ten rebounds.

After beating UCLA and Texas in back-to-back games, Michigan gets a few tune-up contests before conference play starts in January, beginning with a matchup against Detroit on Saturday. While the schedule would allow Michigan to avoid rushing Moe Wagner back, his injury thankfully doesn't sound too serious anyway:

Jon Teske played 18 minutes because of Wagner's injury and early foul; he was a defensive presence, blocking two shots and adding a steal. While he failed to make an offensive impact, he covered much of the gap with his defense, continuing an encouraging run of play for him. Zavier Simpson had another solid performance, getting into the lane for a couple tough buckets, dishing out four assists, and once again earning John Beilein's trust to handle crunch-time minutes. Jordan Poole only played eight minutes but made both of his shots, a tough transition bucket and a step-in jumper off a nifty move at the arc.

So long as Wagner's injury doesn't have a significant impact, this was a huge night for the boys in blue. The victory has already moved Michigan up five spots on KenPom, and for now they should be on the right side of the bubble in early tourney projections. Even if Texas collapses without leading scorer Andrew Jones, which looks like a distinct possibility, the Wolverines just came through a tough five-game stretch with a 3-2 record, strengthened their resumé, and got a better idea of the rotation going forward. Now Beilein gets a few games to tinker before Big Ten play resumes.

THE US

While UCLA put a quality win feather in Michigan's tournament resumé cap, there's still work to be done, especially since the Big Ten, uh, kinda sucks? The B1G is currently projected as a three-bid league by stat guru Bart Torvik—and that's with Maryland as one of the last four teams in the field. Michigan State and Purdue are the only locks.

In such a conference down year, it'd be very nice to add another resumé-boosting victory in non-conference play, and Texas represents M's final chance at doing so. According to Torvik's team forecast tool, a victory tonight would take Michigan from the projected sixth team out of tournament to in the field, albeit as a First Four team. That's a huge jump from one game.

Given the short turnaround (and a flight to Texas) from Saturday's UCLA game, I wouldn't expect to see major changes to the rotation yet. After this game, however, the team has a few tune-ups before conference play, and that's when we could see some major experimentation. I'll have much more on how that could shake out later this week; tonight's game will provide a critical extra data point for guys like Jordan Poole and Isaiah Livers.

THE LINEUP CARD

Projected starters are in bold. Hover over headers for stat explanations. The "Should I Be Mad If He Hits A Three" methodology: we're mad if a guy who's not good at shooting somehow hits one. Yes, you're still allowed to be unhappy if a proven shooter is left open. It's a free country.

If anyone knows what to do with their hands after seeing this please let me know.

Peters transfer: nope. The lingering concern about Shea Patterson's transfer is that it would cause Brandon Peters to transfer out, thus leaving Michigan just as thin at quarterback and reliant on an NCAA waiver for their presumed starter. That does not appear to be happening. Sam Webb talked to Peters's father; you can listen to a WTKA segment on that conversation—helpfully summarized here—or read his take on The Michigan Insider:

“Coach Harbaugh said it’s going to be a competition and we believe him.”

Webb also cleared up the strange yes-no-yes Patterson saga: Michigan was content to go into 2018 with three quarterbacks, but once Speight decided to grad transfer they wanted to add a guy and Patterson wanted to come, so... yeah.

The grad transfer rule might also be helping Michigan keep Peters around, BTW. He will compete for the job this year. If he doesn't get it he will be the backup; if Patterson's one and done then he's in line for the job again in 2018. If he's not, Peters can almost certainly graduate in 3.5 years and have two to play two, a la Alex Malzone. He doesn't lose anything by staying, and he will be a serious candidate for the job. I'd tentatively give him the edge given his familiarity with the offense.

Not quite crootin' visits of note. JaRaymond Hall took a visit to CMU this weekend, which seems like a significant step towards a transfer. Hall is on the fence after receiving his release earlier this month.

Also: potential Ole Miss transfer Van Jefferson visited Louisville yesterday. As of Monday, Jefferson was the only one of the three guys who had not told a recruiting reporter that he was at least virtually committed, and it appears that there is a genuine race on for his services. Louisville is closer to home since Shawn Jefferson is the Titans' WR coach. If this is a backup plan because of transcripts thing expect that to get resolved almost immediately—all three guys want to be on someone else's campus for the winter semester.

Doesn't sound great for Newsome. This is reading between the lines, admittedly, but that's all we've got here. And if Grant Newsome isn't cleared for spring it's probably not good news for his career:

Michigan left tackle Grant Newsome still holds the goal of being medically cleared to return to football by the start of the 2018 season.

"Trying to get back on the field as soon as possible," said Newsome, who was honored with the Pete Schmidt Courage Award at the National Football Foundation/Free Press All-State Dream Team banquet in Dearborn on Sunday. "I want to play right now. But it's up to the doctors when they'll let me go."

Not being cleared more than a year removed from his injury is fairly ominous.

Shooter. Adrien Nunez is the who-dat afterthought in Michigan's 2018 basketball recruiting class, at least if you go by rankings. If you go by the ability to make threes off the dribble, though:

That's one game and thus fairly representative. Nunez ventured inside the three point line once; he makes multiple off the dribble threes; he also catches and shoots. Nunez doesn't look like the kind of athlete who gets the shiny rankings, but he looks like a guy who can get his shot in a variety of ways. That shot is always a three pointer. Beilein kind of kid.

A disastrous nonconference schedule. Michigan isn't the only Big Ten team to suffer through a disappointing basketball stretch here. The conference has imploded:

This looks like a four bid league. Northwestern, Indiana, Iowa, Michigan, Maryland, and Wisconsin have all badly undershot preseason expectations. Michigan really needs this game against Texas tonight and then will have to go... uh... 11-7 in conference play to be on the bubble? Is it that bad? I think it might be.

Michigan 4, Michigan State 0

1st period

No scoring

2nd period

UM 1 MSU 0 PPG 7:38 Norris from Cecconi & Slaker

Slaker tries to take away the pass down low but the State skater hangs on and hands on and hangs on and eventually forces the pass low. Cecconi reads this and steps in front to pick it off. He proceeds to flip the puck out of the zone and to Becker, who’s waiting for it at the edge of the neutral zone.

Becker carries in and avoids a cursory stick sweep, which he counters by dropping the puck back for Norris to retrieve upon entering the offensive zone.

Norris reads the depth of the defensemen and sees that there might be a stick in his passing lane, but there’s a good chance a saucer pass would get the puck to a very open Slaker. He lifts it, but Slaker loses the puck and has to reset. It takes a fraction of a second; the shot is now a writer instead of a one-timer, and the fraction of a second is enough time for Lethemon to read it and safely steer the shot to the corner.

The puck-side defenseman turns to block the shot and then steps in to clear the rebound. He has Slaker in his face and can’t afford to turn and try to carry it out without taking a gamble; there’s a good chance Slaker strips the puck from him if he does anything but fling it out of the zone. The pressure results in a weak clear, and the puck bounces off the boards about halfway up the zone.

Becker comes over to get the puck and thinks twice, instead pointing at it for Cecconi to take it. Allowing a defenseman an unimpeded slap shot from the blue line is, at the very least, a good way to get the puck into traffic and maybe deflected. That’s not needed here, though, as Cecconi shoots a top-corner laser over Lethemon’s glove.

[After THE JUMP: one night Calderone’s putting up a hat trick, the next night the offense stalls and the defense forgets what a backside skater is]

Since he's a transfer in a hello post is sort of beside the point when we can look at his 12 games starting for Ole Miss; over the course of the offseason I'll break those down in passing UFRs, like I did for Jake Rudock a couple years back.

The high level view is this: Patterson is a former five star QB who moved into the starting lineup late in his true freshman season after Chad Kelly was injured. He started for the bowl-banned Rebels for nine games this year, whereupon an injury knocked him out.

He spearheaded S&P+'s #15 passing offense, averaging 7.6 YPC with 17 TDs and 9 interceptions and a 64% completion rate. I've already gone over four or five of his games from last year and those stats should be taken in context: Ole Miss's offensive line was prone to Michigan-like stunt busts, so their offense had a ton of screens in it. Patterson and backup Jordan Ta'amu's mobility helped the Rebels avoid a very bad sack rate. Even with large chunks of the offense built around avoiding sacks, Ole Miss was still 59th in that department.

That said, Patterson did not seem like a five-star guy on an initial viewing. The name that leapt immediately and repeatedly to mind was Tate Forcier. Patterson's got the same level of mobility and size; he's very much a MAKE PLAYS gunslinger; his accuracy left something to be desired.

Here's his 34/51, 346 yard, 6.8 YPC day against Auburn. This was a 44-23 loss against the #5 S&P+ defense in the country in which Ole Miss was down 35-3 halfway through the second quarter:

That's fairly representative. High ceiling; inconsistent with his throws and reads. For what it's worth, PFF rated Patterson the third-best QB in the SEC this year. If that's now Michigan's QB floor in 2018, woo hah.

Patterson believes he'll be eligible immediately, which would give him two more years of eligibility starting in 2018. If he is not he would still have two, but they would start in 2019. More details on that stuff can be found in an earlier post on Patterson.

Rather thought we'd have a hello post by now

The watched pot in which three potential Ole Miss transfers has failed to come to a boil and boy do I regret this metaphor right now but not as much as the people slowly cooking to death. What?

Anyway: QB Shea Patterson, WR Van Jefferson, and S Deontay Anderson all took in Michigan's comeback win over UCLA. All are expected to end up at Michigan, per Sam Webb and the rest of humanity with an opinion. You should be "amazingly optimistic" about Patterson per Webb; he also has a gut feeling about the other two but "red tape" is going to hold things up a little bit. Anderson will commit to Michigan, per Andrew Vailliencourt, but is waiting to announce until Michigan gets his transcripts and officially admits him. Vailliencourt tracked Anderson down for an interview; he remains optimistic that he and his cohort will be immediately cleared:

Although not officially declared eligible yet for next season, Anderson is highly confident that he will be cleared for next season — as well as both Patterson and Jefferson. The three share a lawyer.

“I’m very optimistic about it,” Anderson said. “We’re still waiting to hear from the NCAA, but they’ve been on our side the last couple weeks about it, so I don’t have any doubt in my mind.”

Jefferson is the only Ole Miss guy who made it up who has not been the subject of a direct assertion he is coming, pending transcripts. He is definitely gone from Ole Miss, per 247 Rebel guy Ben Garrett. And Webb is asserting that you should be optimistic. He's probably in; just not official.

BTW, Garrett is asserting that seven guys are absolutely gone from Oxford with another four on the fence. Greg Little is not one of them. Alas. He's just going to play out his last year and head to the draft posthaste, it appears, and doesn't want to muck around with maybe being eligible or maybe not.

Dual commit Thursday?

Thursday will be big for headline writers covering M and ND

GA TE Tommy Tremble has set an announce date. Folks who read the header will be unsurprised to find that it is Thursday. Tremble's coming off a visit to UCLA. The Bruins, UGA, Michigan, and Notre Dame are the finalists. Michigan is confident, per Lorenz. Tom Loy says he thinks it's Notre Dame, but it's close. Georgia is just a hat on the table; Tremble's dad was a UGA safety who had a cup of coffee in the NFL. It doesn't seem like UGA has a spot for him.

An enthusiastic gent like Loy thinking it's close is a good sign for Michigan. Meanwhile on the podcast I asked Steve if Michigan might sacrifice a third TE in this class to make room for the Ole Miss transfers. He shot that down, noting that Michigan is going after Tremble very hard. He didn't tip his hand as all in an interview with Rivals.

Also committing Thursday—maybe—is GA ATH Michael Barrett. Per Josh Newkirk, Barrett wants to commit on the 14th, his birthday. Wiltfong has a CB in for Michigan; Barrett is apparently deciding between an ATH offer from Michigan and a QB offer from Georgia Tech. Because he's a GT QB, man:

Michigan's been pursuing Barrett for most of the recruiting cycle—here's an early June post from Lorenz that asserts he's at the top of Michigan's board at RB. Barrett shouldn't be looked at as a late sleeper Michigan is forced into taking because of misses elsewhere. They've got two backs in the class, they've been after this kid for months. They just like him. He could end up at RB, as a Jaylen Samuels-style H-back, viper, linebacker, or even safety.

Other uncommitted officials

Michigan also hosted two OL over the weekend. Barrett's teammate and GA OL Jalen Goss came up and geared up...

...and still kept everyone in the dark. Nobody's talked to him since. Or before, really. He's a ninja.

What we do know: at 6'7", 275, Goss is in the Frey mold as a big, rangy, athletic tackle. He decommitted from Florida in June. (Prescient.) Since he's been to Auburn multiple times and just set a late January official to Miami. Just based on his visit itinerary—nothing outside of the South except Michigan—this one seems like an uphill battle. If Barrett does commit his pull might be Michigan's best shot with him.

ASU decommit and CA OL Jarrett Patterson is a more likely bet. He's more or less down to UCLA and Michigan. Brandon Huffman caught up with him after his visit, which he said the usual positive things about when not implying that Arizona State players live in a cloud castle with bouncers:

"What stood out most was the football players even spend time with regular students," said Patterson. "Everyone is interconnected and the players are all laid back guys."

UCLA is this weekend and Patterson will decide between the two schools in January. Patterson sounds like a late riser and possibly a candidate to play early:

Sun Devil Source’s Chris Karpman called Patterson “one of the polished performers at this stage of development,” and added, “the coaching that Patterson is getting at the high school level leaps off the film and is going to make for an easier transition to college football than the vast majority of his peers.”

I'd imagine Michigan would take both him and Petit-Frere.

""They're going to need a bigger boat" –Ace Anbender" –Brian Cook

I promised Ace that I would Michael Scott him about this development, the biggest Happy Trails of all time.

The impossible dream has died and committed to Minnesota, where he will team up with Vic Viramontes as PJ Fleck tries to assemble a team comprised entirely of weird MGoBlog recruiting obsessions. No doubt he's trying to arrange a LEVITICUS PAYNE transfer as we speak.

Etc.

Name alert: 2021(!) instate OL Rocco Spindler. You may remember Marc Spindler from his Lions days; that's his dad.

FL QB commit Joe Milton dropped almost 100 spots in the latest Rivals revamp; he now sits 189th. Can't argue with that given his stats. Happy trails to CA S Bryan Addison, who picked UCLA. At least now when someone picks UCLA over Michigan it makes some level of sense. Losing guys to Jim Freakin' Mora was a drag.

Michigan will practice at Berkeley Prep in preparation for the Outback Bowl. Berkeley Prep is the home of former Michigan kicker Garrett Rivas... and five star FL OL Nicholas Petit-Frere.