BREAKING NEWS: Creature Crisis Confounds Coders

Cashew Collector Could be Carrying Catalogue of Classified Corporate Cah-secrets

Edmonton Alberta 12:57pm CST – THE INFLUENCIER can now confirm that Sir Rudiger Esquirel (e)SQRL and his horde of hazelnut-hoarding hoodlums have indeed infiltrated the Empire Avenue core code through a previously unknown security flaw. Empire Avenue CEO Duleepa Wijayawardhana (e)DUPS has made the following statement:

“Sir Rudiger is slightly unstable and we implore people to not buy him. He will tell you that it is our policy to discredit him. but truly We are just his friends and want him back with us.

We are worried as Sir Rudiger Esquirel has been party to many corporate secrets. We implore the folks of EAv to catch as many squirrels this weekend as possible lest they fall into the wrong hands.”

When pressed about the source of the security flaw, DUPS explained,
“It was a SQRL Injection Exploit where they INSERTed a ‘nut’ into a MySQL Database Query. We have prevented any further SQRL Exploits. But there are still squirrels in the system, please click on these squirrels!”

It would appear that individual shareholders and their portfolios are safe at this time. Although, this recent security breach has caused many investors to question whether additional safeguards are needed for protection of their more valuable holdings. We here at THE INFLUENCIER feel entirely at ease with the current crisis and it’s implications on stock security, as we have been previously proactive in protecting our priceless prize purchases by placing them in THE VAULT.

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