When football star Peter Crouch made a self-­deprecating joke about his looks, he did not expect it to still be talked about years later.

As well as his 200-plus goals in a long career, the former England striker is loved for his hilarious response when asked in an interview what he would be if he wasn’t a ­footballer. He replied: “A virgin.”

“That quote has followed me around like the robot,” jokes Stoke City player Peter, referencing his famed dancing goal celebration.

“People ask me about it every day but it was a funny line.”

And despite jibes that he is punching seriously above his weight with his Liverpudlian model wife Abbey Clancy, he now wants to qualify his original answer a little.

He reckons that even without the fame and immense riches that ­football has given him he would not have been a loser in love.

Footballer Peter Crouch and model Abbey Clancy on their wedding day (Image: Unknown)

England's Peter Crouch celebrates after scoring during their international friendly soccer match against Hungary at Old Trafford, Manchester, on May 30, 2006 (Image: Reuters)

“Would I have ended up with a wife as attractive as Abbey? I’d like to think I’d have done OK. Maybe not that well, but I’d have done all right.”

Stooping into the appropriately high-ceilinged bar in London’s Renaissance Hotel, the 6ft 7in ex-Liverpool and Spurs player looks like he could change a light bulb in a cathedral without a stepladder.

But compared with the multi-millionaire prima donnas and mollycoddled divas he has shared a pitch with during his 20 years as a pro, he is remarkably down to earth.

In a world of £250 haircuts and £250,000 supercars, the 37-year-old forward who holds the record for most headed goals in Premier League history, is now older and – most of the time – much wiser.

“I made so many mistakes when I was younger,” admits Peter, who won 42 caps for England, scoring 22 goals, and is now sharing his insight into his rollercoaster career in his tongue-in-cheek book How to be a Footballer.

The couple on a night out (Image: WENN)

He says: “I used to pretend I was into speed garage when I hated it. I once bought an ill-advised half cashmere, half camel hair jumper for £800 then ruined it by spilling a pint of Guinness all over it.

“And when I first signed for Liverpool aged 24 I bought an Aston Martin, only to sell it for a £25,000 loss almost immediately after Roy Keane clocked me at some traffic lights looking like I’d won the World Cup. The problem is that having a few quid gives you the ability to make really ridiculous decisions.

“Normally you’d learn these rites of passage in a quiet place but Premier League footballers do it in front of millions of people.”

He was born in Cheshire but he and his family moved to Singapore when he was a baby and they settled in West London after returning from Asia a few years later.

Today, in charcoal jeans and a grey jersey, he is happy to admit his days of clubbing in Ayia Napa are behind him. “When you get to my age you feel comfortable to be able to say, ‘actually, lads, this is me’,” says Peter, who has three children – Sophia, seven, Liberty, three, and eight-month-old Johnny – with wife of seven years Abbey, 32.

And despite being surrounded by more tattooed colleagues than a Royal Navy admiral, the former Queens Park Rangers, Southampton, Portsmouth and Aston Villa player is adamant his skin will remain uninked.

“It’s just not for me. Abbey hasn’t got any either, but each to their own.”

With his gangly frame it’s a testament to his talent that he overcame his doubters and forged a top career in football. “The jokes about how I look have actually made me stronger.

“The crowd laughed and groaned when I came on for QPR. I was booed on my England debut and I’ve heard every insult under the sun but it’s made me a more resilient character and it’s given me the ability to take the p*** out of myself, which has become my most powerful weapon.”

It came to the fore with his amusing robot celebration, seemingly recently revived by the Prime Minister while dancing on her recent trip to Africa.

“I thought Theresa May wasn’t bad,” says Peter. “It was funny as it actually did look like the robot.”

One venue yet to witness his moves is the Strictly Come Dancing ­ballroom – so, could things become ­glittery in the years to come?

“I’m still enjoying playing football,” he says. “But in the future, I don’t know. I don’t want to take the shine off Abbey. She won it and I don’t want to win it and steal her thunder.”

How to be a Footballer by Peter Crouch, published by Ebury Press, is available to buy now.