This is going to sound weird. I have, for the first time in my life, a tomato plant. It's a topsy turvy one, but it was beautiful to watch grow from a small plant to a huge one. I didn't anticipate much, as I don't have a green thumb like my mother. But, I did… Continue reading Removing the Negative

The most part of releasing yourself of the whole psychotic love issue is to meet someone real. Someone who is not going to judge you. Someone you can find that fits proper in your life. Now this is intesting. MY PETER PAN ME SYNDROME THAT I LOVE AFTER THE MONEY FOCUS MAN 🙂 Two years… Continue reading Peter Pan and honesty

I love poems. I have written many. But this weekend going through some papers I wrote while I was married to the man I can't hate, but feel there was a great deal of healing after I left, this was truly a reason. I wrote this for him to read. I was hoping he would… Continue reading How Can Someone Make You Feel Like Writing This?

Yikes. I know it's Christmas and I should have better thoughts. But to me Christmas hasn't been Christmas for many years. And even more so less when I lost my eldest nephew who was so wonderful and still always so missed and was so the rock that kept us together. I hate to say this,… Continue reading First Borns Genocide

Psychotic love. What does it entail really? Too much love for family, for you children, for your parents. Funny enough Psychotic Love doesn't seem to me to transfer to all of my siblings. I have one sister that you can deny, hurt her, almost kill her, treat her like she is a nobody, but still… Continue reading How can someone who hates me be forgiven?

I have played this conversation with you Mom for years. For approximately 15 years. Since you told me I should have stayed with him. No matter what. Tonight I need purge in words why I have not been able to talk to you, nor speak my speech which will follow. Mom, I can’t talk to… Continue reading Mom, Why Can’t You Hear Me? I love you so much!!

There is a time in your life when you think you should have shunned all the sensitivity from your life. It appears that this is not so. I think that I really resent my mother for not having made me a stronger person and to learn how to not feel the pain of someone being… Continue reading Sensitivity Sucks

I've been divorced for 13 years now to my first love. 13 years and I still have dreams about him. I have dated a couple of times, and one was very special to me. He's still my best friend. Another passed away. But I don't dream about them at all. I only dream about my… Continue reading When do the dreams end?