Exactly Berni… and thanks for aleritng me to your comment, as it had gone to SPAM, and I usually delete that folder without looking at them as I get about 150 each day! Plus another 150 in my Trash folder! 99.9% of them are SPAM, so now that your comment has been accepted, it shouldn't go there again. It seemes it was essential for health care profeessionals, pushed and funded by drug compnaies, to blame the pathology of dementia, and then over medicate us or lock us up, for perfectly normal reactions. It is such an entrenched 'system' it is going to take yeaers to stop, and will need people to work TOGETHER for real change, which is also why 6 of us have started the #BanBPSD campaign.

This piece really resonated with me. My mother passed away one year ago. She was in a nursing home and I was frustrated and driven to ‘anger’ many times myself during her time there. I knew what made her unhappy or upset and her behaviour would appear ‘angry’ but she wasn’t. The problem, Kate, from my experience, is that there are not enough carers to do the job they are there for- TO CARE. My mum didn’t like television, she didn’t like background noise, she didn’t like music, but she was subjected to these things because when I wasn’t there to look after her there wasn’t enough personnel to care for her. The tv was on ALL the time. It used to drive me crazy!!! There were no activities for my mum to do- she used to love folding and ‘ironing’ with her hands so I bought lots of face cloths and tea-towels in to keep her busy but I had to keep replenishing them because they’d get lost……..there was no-one to take my mum out for a short ‘walk’’-to get some fresh air and sunshine. We treat our pets better than this. I could talk about this for ages!!

People are, in general, under-stimulated in nursing homes. We need far more carers looking after fewer residents so that the care can be more individualised and, dare I say it, caring.

Thanks for joining the conversation Carmel, and I agree with all you have said Carmel, and interesting you also said they are understimulted… that is one of the most common issues, apart from the neglect!

Carers, nurses and medical doctors also need more EDUCATION about DEMENTIA, a major issue in hospitals and residential care. Take care always.

If we can stretch the analogy even further, why not agree that this is just the way any human might react when deprived of his or her social or emotional needs? Our treatment of seniors speaks to a bigger problem in how the medical profession and its cohorts continue to ignore what basically constitutes “quality of life” for anyone, throughout the life cycle. The disconnect between how we overprotect our infants and then toss them aside as elders deserves a closer look.

Very true Kate. I would add that people with a dementia are denied some basic human rights that we give children such as the right to “walk / move to reduce their stress, boredom or because they have always been fit and enjoyed walking” instead the industry labels people with a dementia with negative labels such as wandering and pacing. Kate Lambert, CEO Daughterly Care specialising in supporting people living with a dementia

Hi Kate a very relevant reminder that when we are not getting what we want those around usually know as we verbalise what our needs are. But if we can’t be understood or no one bothers to listen then naturally we find alternative ways to communicate. We have just completed an early morning road trip here in Darwin out to Florence falls accompanied by a 15 monthly old baby. She communicated her unwillingness to be strapped in her car seat for an extended time not with words but with a dislike for every form of entertainment, food etc that we could muster. If we agree it is not ok to upset a baby for extended periods of time then why is this same restriction the go too solution for so many in residential care. When a baby cries we do our utmost to find out why and remove the cause. But often in residential care we are the cause when we restrict choice and movement then we wonder Why the disapproval occurs and even choose to ignore the resulting action. Not acceptable for any age group in my eyes.