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If Chuck Norris had been in charge of EU competition law in the past, he would have introduced a very succesful self-incrimination programme that stipulates treble fines for breaches of the competition rules.

What’s the difference between Chuck Norris and the Commission? None, they both prosecute and adjudicate the villains, normally showing little mercy for them. And, they would eventually seek to obtain compensation from them, if they are still around and not gone bankrupt!

In a revolving-door scenario, if Google had retained Chuck Norris to deal with the Commission, Mr. Almunia would have stated: “On a second thought, we see no real problems so far. We took issues because our products (read decisions) did not show up among the first ten results in Google’s search engine. But our Chief Economist told us it was our fault. We are going to improve the product, so that our customers are satisfied. Our competitors (read NCAs) are making our life hard these days… But hei! Summertime is at the door!”