Most superheroes have secret identities and a civilian life. Clark Kent, for instance, is a journalist. Hawkman is an archeologist. Daredevil is a lawyer. Hulk is a scientist. Doctor Strange is a surgeon. And so on. Throughout many decades, we’ve become familiar with the fact that superheroes have normal, decent jobs. But isn’t it slightly baffling that out of the thousands of characters from Marvel or DC none of them has a controversial career, so to speak? Well, Irish writer Garth Ennis probably asked himself the same question. Why do all superheroes must have a decent and respectable job? Why can’t they be something else? The answer comes unapologetically in the pages of “The Pro”, a tale about “a superpowered prostitute with a lousy attitude”.The story begins with a street whore, a woman who tries to make a few bucks to feed her baby and pay the rent. A woman without hope, without joy, with nothing but the searing certainty that all she can do in life is suck cocks or bend down to get penetrated by stingy men who always try to pay her less than they should.That’s how her life goes until the Viewer (AKA the Voyeur), a merciless parody of Marvel’s the Watcher, decides to intervene and grants her amazing superpowers. Suddenly she can fly, she has super-strength and superhuman endurance.

The Pro punishes the enemy / la Pro castiga al enemigo

Of course, even with powers she is still a bitch. She swears, she smokes and she has no problems in accusing the members of the League of Honor of being the greatest perverts she’s ever met. Even so, she’s welcomed into the ranks of the world’s premiere superhero team. Once again, Ennis satirical approach dissects the classic superhero archetypes and turns the Justice League of America into a group of do-gooders with a holier-than-thou behavior. Although their perversions are hidden under this peaceful and respectable façade.When the League tries to save the UN, The Pro points out how all those ambassadors pay for the weirdest and kinkiest sexual encounters one could possibly imagine. Her “golden shower” moment can’t compare with the depravities she has seen in the past. Obviously, the vulgarity, the wild sexuality and profanity of The Pro scandalizes all members of the League. Especially the Saint, a Superman parody, who eventually is seduced by the prostitute and agrees to a blow job proposal that will have major repercussions for his sanctimonious reputation.The Lady, a Wonder Woman parody, exhibits certain lesbian tendencies, while Speedo, a Flash parody, can’t stop masturbating in the presence of the Pro. At super-speed, of course, he’s able to ejaculate and wipe out his dick without anyone taking notice of his actions…

The Saint gets a blow job / el Santo recibe sexo oral

Of course, no satire would be complete without rubbing in a little bit of Wertham’s fears. As suggested by the psychiatrist, Batman and Robin are the ultimate gay couple, although they’ve never been as obviously out of the closet as Knight and Squire (parodies of the Dynamic Duo). Finally, the Lime is the typical black character that exists only to act like a black man, in the most stereotyped manner (similar, certainly, to the way in which minorities were inappropriately portrayed in the 50s and 60s), reaffirming the inherent racism in a world populated by white superheroes. Surely, as a reader you won’t be able to stop laughing as the absurd adventures of the Pro go on, but the humor doesn’t take away the social criticism. In the end, there is a bitter affirmation about this wonderful and colorful universe of escapism. Superheroes don’t matter, nothing they do has real consequences, they claim to save humanity but they are unable help regular people, they can’t change our society so that impoverished women like the Pro won’t have to sell their bodies in order to survive. Perhaps, for Ennis, the real prostitution lies in corporate trademarks and franchises disguised as cultural icons, and in the greedy nature of editors and businessmen who want only to squeeze every dollar out of the pockets of mindless fanboys that will endlessly consume the latest iteration of their favorite childhood heroes.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!

Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Arion

Arion, who is either from Chile or New York (it’s not really clear) writes a blog that the Outhouse steals on a regular basis. Arion is by far the nicest of all the staff writers and the most well behaved only having been banned from one country. One thing we really appreciate about Aroin is that he writes his reviews in English and Spanish and we hope someday he’ll translate this blurb for us. We’re not so good at languages, just look at how well we write in English if you need proof. You should bookmark Arion’s blog - http://artbyarion.blogspot.com – and actually look at it. There will be a quiz at the end of every month.