San Francisco – At a recent concert stop at the “City by the Bay”, pop nuisance Miley Cyrus whined that it’s getting too hard to shock audiences at her shows these days and that Madonna and Lady Gaga have racked up most of the good shock value over the years. Miley feels cheated.

“It’s so hard y’all! I mean, yeah, I’m a freak and all, but I’m running out of ideas that will leave my fans shaking their heads in disgust when they leave my concerts!”

The former Disney airhead went on to say she couldn’t outdo Gaga on outfits so she’s headed the other direction, thinking the less she wears, the better.

“I mean, like, I may have come in like a wrecking ball, but now that I’m here, how the hell do I hold your attention? You know what I’m saying? We’re kicking around some awesome ideas for upcoming shows though.”

“My agent was thinking I could have sex with a penguin or maybe they might launch me out of a cannon and I’ll fly over the audience right into a giant replica of my own vagina! How awesome would that be?!” An excited Miley exclaimed. “One of my friends said I am such a great role model to young girls out there and I don’t want to let them down.”

We jokingly suggested maybe she could try catching flies in midair like a lizard with that tongue she’s so proud of, or possibly getting a personality transplant. Miley smiled, focused, and snatched a moth right off of a nearby lampshade with her tongue. “I’m way ahead of ya! But I’ll have my agent look into that personality thingy!”

Just a smart ass by nature who uses humor as a defense mechanism to get through this wonderfully confusing thing we call life. Trying to make people laugh is pretty cool. Succeeding at it is the very best! That's it. What more do you people want from me?!

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