Yours truly made it onto the stage for Hardball, and sat right behind The Governator. Arnold’s a politician all right; he was able to dodge and laugh through most of the tough questions. I was particularly disgusted with Arnold’s handling of steroids:

MATTHEWS: Are steroids bad for you?
SCHWARZENEGGER: What?
MATTHEWS: Are they bad for you?
SCHWARZENEGGER: Steroids can have side effects, if people don‘t do it under supervision with a doctor. I‘ve seen people in our own sports that have died because of it.
MATTHEWS: Yes.
SCHWARZENEGGER: That have had side effects, health side effects.
MATTHEWS: Right.

Even though he’s publicly admitted it, I’m sure he’d like to try to bury that 1977 article if possible. Steroids have plenty of side effects (note: HIV and hepatitis are on that list due to IV injections, they are not directly linked). I remember being really confused about steroids and my brother being “prescribed steroids” for his asthma, so I thought I’d take a minute to procrastinate explain what people mean by steroids.

Okay, so technically, a steroid is just any chemical with a certain structure. But the body uses 3 main types of steroids. Physicians usually prescribe one type, body builders usually use another, and while the third type is very important, you probably won’t run into it much. All three are made in the adrenal glands. And here we go:

Glucocorticoids. These are what are generally prescribed by physicians. They’re usually prescribed to lower a person’s immune system. Cortisol, hydrocortisone, prednisone. They reduce inflammation. They’re commonly used for autoimmune disorders, or transplant patients-both need to supress their immune system, because it’s either hurting them or their transplanted organ.

Sex hormones. These are the steroids you hear about all the time: testosterone, estrogen, progesterone. First, testosterone. Body builders will use testosterone to get bigger muscles. This is the “anabolic steroid”-anabolic just means metabolism that builds, like building muscle. Other chemicals can work too-either things that the body can turn into testosterone, or things that look like testosterone, so that the body thinks they’re testosterone. These have a number of scary side effects-”roid rage,” shrunken testicles, gynecomastia (male breast tissue development). Not hot. There’s also estrogen and progesterone. These are the hormones found in birth control pills and hormone replacement therapy during menopause. These are also the hormones involved in RU-486 and “the morning after pill.” These are made in the adrenal glands, but they’re also made in the ovaries and testicles. (And yes, men and women have both in their systems, just different amounts.)

Mineralocorticoids. These you probably won’t hear a whole lot about. Aldosterone is the main one, and it makes your kidney reabsorb water and sodium. If you’re getting dehydrated, your body releases this to tell your kidneys to make less urine, so you save more water and sodium. Some people’s diuretics (water pills) block aldosterone, so you pee more.