Posts Tagged ‘humility’

It has been about a month now since I moved out of Kelowna. I know it’s very hard for nonspiritual people to understand this; but it was my guides or my Angels that guided me out of Kelowna. I was told by them under the full moon light, to go north. I was shown clearly in a vision and in dreams that north was home; I was shown that I was supposed to be close to nature so that I could heal from the pain of the many rejections that I experience in Kelowna. You know the spirit works in mysterious ways, very much like the 12th Lord or the 12th house in astrology. These mysterious spiritual ways are very Neptunian, dream like, like mists of figures that you see out of the corner of your eye, or when you hear your name called out just before waking.. and so they called to me to follow the north star home. I completed my spiritual purpose or mission in Kelowna. I created my book and I did all the things I had to do to set the hands on the clock of fate.. and such is divine timing..but they haven’t let me know much about that. Somethings like divine timing are mysteries to those of us in the flesh, and that is why we have faith. But I was told to lay it all in their hands and go into obscurity, to set my ego down and let go and let God. And so I have. I pulled these runes to let them tell you and me as to why I had to do what I did.. when I moved back into the country.. were you can leave your doors unlocked and walk around naked with your drapes open because there is nobody to see.

Ansuz ~ To be with the Divine and know the true nature of my own divinity, to give my children peace and a stable home.

Inguz ~ To find harmony and balance through better personal relationships with more grounded and centered people. To clear away old relationships to bring in people into my life who are real so that I can experience the wholeness of myself by being able to be my true self around them. By being able to be my true self without other’s inhibitions being placed on to me; I will come to wholeness and then meet a mate who will love me for my true self.

Sowelu ~ My life force returning by my regeneration of not giving my energy to others who refuse to see me or respect me for who I truly am. The retreat was a retreat of strength as I no longer will be present for others to drain me of my energy because they cannot find their own light within. Many mistake the light in others as a way to drain and feed their own egos with it; by my leaving such people or such a society I am now keeping my life force to myself. I will grow stronger as I become more and more of who I am by not allowing them my time or the space to ego feed off of my light or spirit. I will regenerate and heal my aura or light body. I will develop the art of doing without doing.

Kelowna or the city life was a rat race. Kelowna’s society was highly competitive without completion; in other words all their striving was for nothing but to say ” I am the most popular.” If I would of stayed in Kelowna I would of lost my freaking mind. I just couldn’t make sense of the fake business world that was not professional or the fake spiritual world that was based on trendy clothes, popularity, ass kissing and PURE EGO. My sensitive soul simply couldn’t tolerate it.

When I fell in love with a man named Matthew Cipes upon our first meeting it was just that, it was me seeing his soul and loving him unconditionally. I still do. But even though he is apart of the spiritual community he couldn’t trust me or that love. And I forgive him because it is uncondtional. But many in the spiritual community came at me to hurt me for daring to feel that way ,to tell him about it and to write about it. That is what is maddening about Kelowna and Kelowna society. I wasn’t considered good enough or pure enough or something not enough to dare feel love for someone who was considered to be way above me by societies standards or financial standards. He and they wanted me to feel ashamed for my feelings, he and they were so intentionally mean. But so many things about Kelowna are just awfully mean.

The thing is this; the refection of how I feel about him is a projection of the love that I have inside of me…and so doesn’t it make sense that the cruelty that they showed me is a reflection of how they feel about themselves or what is inside of them? I have absolutely nothing to gain here by saying that I loved him instantly upon laying eyes on him almost 2 years ago as I have left the city. I am sure I will never see him again. I have nothing to gain but to attempt to alchemize or transmute hate into to love.. but then I am not responsible for how others react or how they behave towards me; as that is their own perceptions to take responsibility for.

He or many in the spiritual community would say to me ” How did you attract this situation into your life.” it is a spiritualistic way of not taking responsibility for how they or he treated me. I didn’t attract other’s willful ignorance they are responsible for their own humanness or shortcomings. The point is I saw through the lens of love it was their bitterness that I allowed to eventually taint me.

But now I am free of that energy and I have cleared the way to let love, love through me once again and I will open up my heart wide again to let the light shine through me .. to let love find me as I find love once again in my new life.

Through a spiritual lens again; I have 6 major planets in my 1st house. This is the house of individuality or identity and that is what I played out in Kelowna. I found my identity and I used my identity as art or expression in my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine) I used my image in the photography and I used my own life story to express the story of womanhood. My north node is in Pisces and now 6 major planets are going into the house of the 12th Lord and this is about me loosing my identity or my ego to find my pureness or higher-self. According to my chart I will be reborn spiritually by the 3rd of January. My north node was my coming home to my guides or moving north on and in this earthly reality. It is a beautiful spiritual mystery as towards what will happen. But I know this I just have to let go, let God and flow.

You can tell its a rainy stormy day because this is my second post today…

I am not a groupie fan.. even though I am a fan of some other artist and media personalities work. But I am too much of a free thinker and an artist myself, to follow someone with my head up my ass like many groupie type fans do. I don’t respect the groupie type fan because for the most part they are stupid; they live vicariously through their star of choice rather than just seeing them as a real and fallible person like the rest of us. It’s a big mistake; because the higher up you put someone and the higher up they allow themselves to be worshiped .. the harder the fall..for them and their fans.

I really have very little respect for celebs that turn their fans on to people who question their motives; I find it immature; irresponsible and cowardly.

I have come up against some celebs by questioning their motives or intentions.. to have them turn their fans onto me.. I guess it’s a lot easier than actually having to question themselves. I think the greatest fault is actually believing that your invincible or above humanity.. the universe always has away of giving a person like that sudden smack in the face.

I think the fans that question you hold the most valuable lessons for you..and that is why, when my followers question me.. I let them. It’s a very hard thing to do; because you have to weight the truth of the statement from other’s issues that they may or may not be projecting onto you… but listening and humility is the key to personal growth.

I don’t want to come off as a conceited jerk; or a shallow selfish person.. and so if anyone says to me that I am giving off that vibe I want to hear from them as to how and why. Many people have said to me ” Why don’t you block that jerk.” and I say ” Because it’s fascinating how people perceive me.. I could have something to learn here..but if they get down right abusive I will block them”

I never allow anyone to call down other people on my Facebook or on my other online profiles; I let them speak their truth and stand up for what they believe in.. but I don’t allow gay bashing, sexism or physical threats or if possible character bashing..because I am responsible for my profiles.

Of course I am not famous.. not by a long shot.. but if I was I wouldn’t have anything to hide..and I wouldn’t allow or use my fans to hide behind..

I think if your a celeb people have a right to question your motives; if you say you stand for something you damn well better stand for it.. or get off your high horse and off the red carpet.

Like Madonna says to her haters ” Bitch please your a fan.” and they are.. I feel that my haters..or what some people might call trolls; have taught me some very valuable lessons..

I think that questioning yourself; your integrity, your path, your message, your talents..and if your putting anything new or relevant out into the world is the key to true artistry ..

I am sure that’s just too fucking humble for some celebs.. but that is exactly what is going to keep them from breaking boundaries..from writing lyrics ..singing new songs or doing anything that will change society for the better.. if you keep your head up your popular ass and don’t listen to the public.. your just going to keep your same boring, plain Jane groupies.. sugar coating it for you.

DISCLAIMER: The content of this blog is not intended to create libel, defame or cause harm to anyone, thing or organization the writer has written about. This blog is solely the opinion and thoughts of the writer. The writer intends no harm to the subjects as these are the interpretations of the facts as seen by the writer; but they are not absolute.