"In the very near future, someone somewhere will purchase a chocolate bar," this sinister advert declares. As consumer predictions go, it's hardly Derren Brown stuff. But then turbo-charged idiocy kicks in: breaking the wrapper on one of these particular bars will trigger a GPS signal. The locational signal, we're told, will bounce off an orbiting satellite – in space! – back to a secret control room staffed by Kit Kat employees. A Swat team will then be despatched by helicopter to track down the mark. The advert shows the commandos – or rather, the legally vague crack team of highly trained individuals – descend on the chocoholic still unwrapping his Kit Kat. They present him with £10,000, as well as fast-tracked membership to Club Type 2 Diabetes. We don't linger on him later being arrested or shot, the likely result of being handed a briefcase full of cash by men wearing balaclavas.

Does the ad's campness play annoyingly against the otherwise straightforward juvenile fantasy? Yes. Is the process illustrated in an insultingly literal sequence? You know the answer. But this is a campaign for our times: Willy Wonka's golden ticket, where Big Willy is a military-industrial capitalist and the gold ticket is an identity-tracking microchip. As a modern slogan, "We Will Find You" is several threat-levels up from "Have A Break". But there's no need to panic: the "lucky" bar obviously won't end up in your mitts. It'll probably be bought by some braying Patrick Bateman for whom 10k means as little as a quickie with his secretary. That's just the way the world is.