Why Men Ask Why are You Still Single

It’s really a simple question. Why are you still single? Men ask it all the time to single ladies. For such a simple question it sure gets a lot of attention. A lot of women analyze how to to answer this question. It’s asked in Katarina’s group at least weekly, if not more.

So let’s analyze it shall we? First if you are on a date with him, apparently he is “still single” too. I mean we hope so right? Is this some kind of test? Why does he ask this question and what answer does he expect?

It’s just a rhetorical question ladies, an icebreaker, a question that about every guy is going to ask you. It’s an indirect compliment. If they don’t ask it on the first date to make conversation, then they ask it on the third or 4th when they are trying to woe the pants off of you. Something like, wow I can’t believe you are still single. It sort of sounds like “I can’t believe I got so lucky” doesn’t it?

Three Ways not to Answer Why are you still single?

Some are offended by this question. They think wow what is he implying. Is he asking if I am a bitch? Is he thinking I am hard to live with? What magical answer is he looking for?

1.Do Not go on the defense. If you feel like you have to justify yourself and the reason you are still single. If you feel this, stop right here and go look in the mirror. That’s may be how you view yourself. In other words you ask yourself the same thing if you are honest with yourself. Maybe this question is a trigger for you. Maybe you are projecting how you feel about self onto him if you feel you have to defend.

2. It’s a qualifying question. The pick up artists teach these kind of questions. A qualifying question is one where the man asks the woman a question that causes her to sell herself to him. If you find yourself going into pitch about how you are over qualified, because you are not going to settle, because you have high standards as so forth and so on, is you jumping into the role of the seller.

3.The fairy tale answer. I haven’t met my prince or Mr. Right has not come along yet. Just don’t go there. Most men when qualifying you as mentioned above may think you are high maintenance or unrealistic. I mean life is good and all but it ain’t Disney.

Living up to a fairy tale or high expectations of romance is not at the forefront of the minds of most men. You don’t really want to paint that picture with your reply.

Men are visual ladies and your words paint pictures in their heads. Seriously. Usually not the pictures you or I would imagine. He doesn’t get excited visualizing himself as Prince Charming though he does want appreciation.

Best Way to Answer Why are You Still Single

You flip it back on him. This is an opportunity to create a common bond and flirt at the same time. How do you do that. Something like below:

Oh I don’t know, probably about the same reason you are still single.

Well aren’t you still single too?

I guess we have that in common

*always smile delivering these answers. You can tilt your head slightly, or playfully touch his arm if you want more impact but only if this feels natural to you. He will know the difference.

It’s human nature that we people just love people who are like us. There is evidence of this on Facebook constantly. Watch someone post about their ailment and watch how many people comment with the same ailment comparing remedies.

These types of answers paint the picture of “hey, this woman is like me”. It’s not an obvious thing that he will be thinking but it will register in his subconscious. Women with Feminine Mystique just do this sort of thing naturally. They don’t even have to think about it. When men are asked why they fell for such a woman, they often can’t put it into words.

9 comments

I stumbled across this somehow, but if I were to ask a woman this, it’s always a compliment. How did this beautiful woman reject the masses of dudes that hit on her constantly? Honestly any answer is ok, just don’t get defensive or that gives me the answer why.

But my question still remains what would you answer someone that asks why you still single? Especially when that person is NOT single. Can be someone you just met, or someone you work with. I really do not know what to answer.