Years ago, while watching MTV on a family vacation, one of my younger cousins asked me in a fearful voice: “Could that really happen, Jason?” We’d just seen the video for Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun,” and, as the resident nerd of my entire clan, they turned to me for reassurance.

I told them that the sun wasn’t massive enough to collapse into a black hole, but that it would eventually die, long after we (perhaps even “we” as a species) were gone from the earth. They were about 12 years old, and I about 14, so they mostly just stared at me puzzled and asked again, “So it could happen?”

I didn’t quite know what to say then, but now I could at least point them to Discover Magazine‘s piece on “Ten Ways the World Will End.” I’ve seen run-downs like this in science magazines and websites before, but this one has a handy table (and some reassuring words about meteorite impacts), so I’ve decided to share it here. Please enjoy responsibly.

If you’re like me you’ve got a lot of hate and anger to share with the world, and nothing throws up a road block on that hatred like a dearth of derogatory term for the people that anger you. One such group that I don’tÂ particularlyÂ hate, but that I see as a prime target as we transition into a dystopian future, is scientists. Sure you can call them eggheads or lab monkey but I need something I can say with a bit more vitriol, somethingÂ monosyllabicÂ you can kinda say while spitting.Â

Thus, after extensive testing in the field I suggest we popularize the term “squint.” Examples: “My plasma rifle is on the fritz again, good for nothing squints can’t keep anything running.” “Hey squint, get back in your lab and fix this global warming.”Â

I’d like to think thatÂ supplyingÂ you with derogatory terms you didn’t even know you needed is the kind of Â blue sky solutioneering you can count on from the Doombot brand.

They were out of my standard taco kit at the supermarket so I selected the “Stand ‘n Stuff” alternative taco shells. As I was preparing these I quickly noticed that though these hold more taco materials, perhaps they were not the best shape for eating. They looked aestheticallyÂ pleasing standing there filled with meat, beans, cheese and lettuce, but would they function well for the primary task tacos are charged with? Was this the future or simply the taco as designed by a committee?

In the end it all worked out and tacos were eaten but I’m not sure I’d buy them again. It is unclear if the world is really crying out forÂ innovation in taco cartridge formats.

It is hard to get precise matches for some features in the manga face generator everybody on Twitter seems so excited about. Hair is troublesome, and the female presets seem glitchy, with items missing. Nevertheless, my girlfriend seems confident that this image accurately represents the vastness of my nose (and the little lines around it).

I enjoyed [this *New York Times* essay by David Brooks](http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/08/opinion/08brooks.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin) about showing off your cultural superiority via one-upmanship. Most importantly:

> “…in order to cement your status in the cultural elite, you want to be already sick of everything no one else has even heard of.”

Somehow I can never quite manage this, but I vow to work harder in the future. In unrelated news: I am so sick of that little kid next door—her paintings are derivative and her singing is *uninspired*. Lame.

*(I just don’t know…does eating cats give you cancer? Cure your cancer? Who clicks on a link about eating cats? Don’t they know Steve Jobs is a [pescetarian](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pescetarian)? What does this have to do with the iPhone? Anything?)*