I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down in meditation with the plea, “Just tell me what the next step is! I don’t know where to go from here!”

Sometimes I get an answer. More often I get an answer I don’t want, like: Meditate more. Practice compassion. Relax. Learn to receive.

Our subconscious minds are tricky – and smart. They know that the answer usually lies less in the doing and more in the being.

But there are also some questions you can ask yourself – and use when journaling or meditating – to help you gain more clarity on where to go next.

How can I be more kind to myself?

We are our harshest critics, and when we are constantly beating ourselves up, it is difficult to relax enough to know where we actually should be rather than where we think we should be. Try this. Sit and think about the thing you’ve been giving yourself a hard time for (you know what it is), then imagine that you’re talking with the wisest, kindest person you know. What would that person tell you? How would that person help you see the situation through kinder eyes?

If I truly and completely accepted myself and my life, what would I do differently?

Again, kindness is key here. When we are striving to be or do something differently, our egos get in our way. But when we see ourselves – and our lives – through the eyes of compassion, we are able to put ego aside and gain clarity. We often imagine our lives to be the way we desire them to be when we are contemplating our next step. But what if you thought about your life as being exactly how it is…and completely accepted that? Then what would your next step be?

Where am I pushing away the very thing I am asking for?

Quite often the thing we are looking for is right in front of us. We are simply not open to receiving it. Ask yourself what it is you are looking for when you think about your next step. Then examine all areas of your life. Is it possible that what you want is already there and you simply need to move things around so that you can see it?

What am I afraid of?

This question goes along with the previous one. When we are unconsciously pushing something away, there is often a fear of something blocking us. Is it success? Is it pain? Is it failure? Getting honest about what you’re afraid of will help you to decide whether the fear is worth pushing through…and if it is, what is the next step that involves moving through that fear?