Friday, December 9, 2011

Picture Day...

"Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts

is to make males stupid." ~Dave Barry

Today was Picture Day!!!

I got all dressed up and took "the girls" to get their annual picture taken. I thought the red bows I attached made them look particularly festive! :)

I told the mammography techician to make sure that the pictures turned out nice because this was going to be our Christmas card picture this year! She thought the idea of this being our Christmas card picture was funny and commented that some people might get more than they bargained for when they opened up the envelope! LOL

For those young'uns of you who haven't had a mammogram, yet, here is a list of exercises that you can work on to prepare you for when you have to have the actual test:

How to Prepare for a Mammogram

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally
prepared for the test.

And best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in your home.

EXERCISE ONE:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO:

Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:

Freeze two metal bookends over night. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

YOU ARE NOW TOTALLY PREPARED!!!

Though I'm not sure one is ever "totally prepared" for this type of torture, I am thankful that we have the technology to diagnose breast cancer early! So please, Ladies, get your mammograms! :)