The Comedy of Truth Martial Arts--Part 1 in a Series

Did you ever see that movie Basket Case, about the Siamese twins? They weren't actually twins; rather, one was a fully-formed boy, healthy, somewhat normal. The other was a deformed wad of teeth and tissue, a slurring psychotic parody of human life, dangling off his brother's side. The siblings loved each other very much in spite of their condition, though their parents were less than sympathetic. It was decided to be in the best interests of Duane (the healthy one) to have Belial (the shrieking helldaemon) removed from Duane's side. Belial was supposed to have died naturally after the surgery, but a kindly aunt nursed him back to health, and raised Duane and Belial as two normal brothers until her untimely death. But being raised in isolation had not been kind to either brother, and, unequipped with the emotional tools necessary to cope with the grisly hand life had dealt them, the brothers vowed to take revenge on those they held responsible for all their problems: the doctors that split them apart. And so, Duane put Belial in a wicker basket and traveled to New York City, with the intent of wreaking havoc on all who had done them wrong.

If Bullshido is Duane, then :gay::gay::gay::gay::gay::gay::gay::gay::gay::gay: :gay::gay::gay::gay::gay::gay:.org is Belial.

Imagine, if you will, if every SERIOUS BUSINESS etc. poster, everyone who had been unofficially banned for ten-thread drama wars, everyone who whined and wept and wailed and gnashed their teeth at how brutally unfair (Internet) life was, if every universally despised poster formed some sort of Legion of Doom clubhouse where they can DO THINGS THEIR OWN WAY and NOT HAVE ANY GROWN-UPS TELL US HOW IT'S DONE. Then imagine a no-swearing rule. And you will have TMA.

Of course I don't think BS is a perfect website, nor do I think it's a good one. It's just that TMA seems dead-set on taking everything wrong with BS, and doing the opposite equally wrong. Instead of encouraging frank, raucous discussion, you have people politely sipping tea and prefacing every post with "Yesyes, valid points all, but...." as they struggle in vain to find an emoticon for "sucking so so much cock".

My point of this post, however, is not to bash TMA, because I figure once you cockdicks get ahold of it there'll be plenty of that going around. My point was to call your attention to this thread, which I cannot link you to because in the infinite wisdom of the TMA coders, you cannot link to individual threads. It's under "Traditional Training Methods", topic "The Pyungan Project."

After a lot of research, study, and deliberation, I've decided to begin a training project. This project will last five years.

For these five years, the only hyung I will train will be Pyungan, one year for each division of the form.

Given that I have known this hyung for more than a decade, I am not terribly concerned by my technical performance of them.

What I wish to learn and train is the curriculum that the form represents.

I do not merely wish to know the boonhae for these forms. I want to drill every individual technique, in order to completely understand the syllabus of Pyungan.

So what we have here is a fellow who, from the sounds of it, is going to limit his form/set/hyung training to Pyungan for the next five years. It actually reminds me of that old gag where a villian describes an improbable plan:

Step 1: Replace all the world's marshmallows with hammers.

Step 2: _______

Step 3: THE WORLD!

This guy's plan of attack is almost identical, although in his case step three probably involves not clutching at the blankets every night wondering if there will ever be joy in his life.

Example: If Combination X includes a shoulder throw, then I want to learn how to do the shoulder throw itself, not just perform the boonhae. I want to cross-reference how the throw is performed in Judo and Shiao Jiao. I want to train this throw with my Judo and BJJ and SJ training partners.

If Judo has an effective way of teaching this throw, then I want to learn that. If Shiao Jiao, then the same.

I would normally ask "Why not just train Judo in the first place?", but I have been recently told that asking that question makes me a racist.

"Aliveness"

I loathe buzzwords, but in this case, this one word represents what I want.

I do not want dead form.

I must be able to perform the syllabus of Pyungan in the spontaneous environment against a resisting and opposing combatant.

Aliveness is kind of like Jesus. It doesn't matter how many choir boys' wrists to pin out at 90 degree angles as you gasp in between sweaty thrusts I LEARNED THIS IN SEMINARY BOY! IT'S CALLED THE CRUCIFUCK!, all you have to do is call out His name and suddenly He'll come down from the Heavens and blow out the fire the Indians set to your covered wagons. Aliveness is the same way. You can practice the same kata over and over again, memorizing patterns and grabbing your friends and saying "Hey, throw a punch at me....no, lower....right foot forward....okay...does this....did that hurt? No? Okay...let me....let me....that? There? No?" and as long as you call that "Aliveness" you're in the clear, bro!.

Groundfighting.

I want to cross-reference all of the standing subs and locks with my BJJ training partners and learn how to apply my standing skills to the ground.

I know I'm supposed to be giving this guy congratulatory A+++ FOR CROSSTRAINING!! SPEEDY DELIVERY!!! WOULD BUY FROM AGAIN!!!! handjobs, but **** it. If you've done BJJ for more than a month and are still trying to use your standing techniques on the ground, you're not worth responding to since clearly I'm not talking to you, but your government-appointed retard wrangler.

BONUS POINTS IF YOU CAN GUESS WHO POSTED THIS GEM:

whats your proposal for the Archival of your Findings , and , if youre successful , your passing on of the Information that you attain to Future Students and/or others that would like to follow you in this endeavour ?

Captain's Log: Just a little update for all my TRUE and HONEST friends out there:

1) I am STRAIGHT! I am STRAIGHT! Get it through your thick skulls, numbskulls!

2) My name is not Ian Brandon Something.

3) Kacey is coming with me now. I have stolen her from the other Christian Weston Chandler.

REMINDER: I am still the one and only true creator of sonichu and rosechu electric hedgehog pokemon

whats your proposal for the Archival of your Findings , and , if youre successful , your passing on of the Information that you attain to Future Students and/or others that would like to follow you in this endeavour ?

Why don't you tell us the story of how you and shuma hacked the site by getting brandiesansoo to give you his mod clearance so you could hack sharlinters account.

And then how you basically got psuedo banned for appearances and got the major hate from people behind the scenes at BBC but yet that and so many other things went totally forgiven by phrost. and how he later banned sharlinter for being too whiney.

While you are at it anthony could tell us how he bitched and moaned about it. Yet his pleas went unattended.

Then several of the mods and other members can openly come out and reveal how much they objected to Oridsus becomeing a MOand how aesopian is hated by almost everyone.

Lets not forget of coarse that Ronin left beciuse of all this and is a memeber of said topic site along with many others.

So you enjoy your little **** brigade . Soon you'll be bitching only to yourselves,

If people are still reading this, that means the powers that be haven't deleted this yet.

Come on over. Especially if you are sick of the verbal excremenet that follows through from the likes of boyd. Whom should be banned, by the way, for hacking this site with shuma and brand.

Come on over if you are sick of feeling like the high school nerds are running the show.

Hardly censorship. Nobody's editing posts or banning people from identifying the site. We're just providing a free graphical representation of the site's name to help people quickly identify if they'd be a good member there.