Food, Nature, and the Supernatural... Oh My!

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Her birth didn't turn out the way I had
planned and wanted, but it turned out great either way.

Back in the beginning of the pregnancy
with her, I had a dream that she was going to be born on 10/17. I
noted the date in my calendar so I didn't forget as the time
approached.

The last week of September, at 35
weeks, I knew the countdown was on. I was achy and the braxton hicks
had ramped up immensely, where positional change created a
contraction throughout the day. I was also pretty stressed out at
work, which created stress induced contractions as well as Quorra
squirming at the adrenaline jump from the stress. I was exhausted...
I had 2 days that week of contractions every 15 minutes... made me so
sore. I was heavily using magnesium to keep the contractions at bay.

It was at this week I decided to do
some muscle testing (applied kinesiology) on the baby to see if she
could give me a date on when she was going to arrive. I had tried
this months before and she wasn't able to provide a good time at that
time, but since the time was getting closer, I thought I'd try again,
just to see if it works.

Quorra confirmed she would show October
17... and I believed her.

At 36 weeks, first week of October, I
withdrew from employment for the sake of my sanity as well as health
and health of Quorra. I wanted her to come when she was ready... not
because my body was kicking her out due to a stress response. I
continued to have regular braxton hicks along with lightning crotch
as she would engage. I sat back and rested to calm down my system
and let it do it's thing.

The first part of 37 weeks was calmer.
So much calmer that I mentioned to David and other friends that this
was likely “the calm before the storm” on Wednesday 10/15. No
braxton hicks... I felt the urge to get some things ready, like my
padsicles and pack up other random things.

That night, I had some braxton hicks
contractions that got down to about 8 minutes apart... I moved around
a bit and it stopped.

Quorra was posterior head down... and
my body kept trying to move her around and she was just not having
it.

The next couple days were similar in
behavior... quiet in the morning, and then contractions would start
up around 5pm and quit around 9pm after I would get up and move
around to either get them to be productive or stop them.

October 17 came and went... and boy was
I disappointed. I was convinced it would be another couple weeks of
these contractions and discomfort while sleeping. My hips, suffering
with SPD, ramped up into another level of pain that day. I had a
chiropractic appointment that day that I missed (David was late from
work) and I was just dying... could hardly walk at all.

Saturday 10/18 was a day of laying
around because 1) I couldn't walk, and 2) I was annoyed that I
couldn't sleep. Contractions were pretty constant that day, but
nothing painful and nothing productive. I was surfing around on the
internet and found where someone had suggested the Spinning BabiesPelvic Floor release for SPD and hip pain. DEAL. I was willing to try
anything and the position was easy enough... and I was not about to
go possibly another 2 weeks in this much pain.

David came home from work and we
performed the pelvic floor release around 8:30pm that night. I heard
this nice pop... and I noticed an immediate relief from pain. Hoping
it wasn't just psychosomatic, we went to bed that night and I prayed
it would move into the next day and swore I'd do it every day if I
needed to.

I woke to a nasty contraction at 315am
that night that felt like an IBS attack. I've had these throughout
the pregnancy, so I really didn't think much of it... just went to
the restroom, and then as I went back to the bed, another contraction
hit me. Fearing that I ate something that was going to irritate my
stomach (had GF homemade pizza) I stayed up and waited the
contraction out to see if I was going to need to return to the
restroom. I climbed back into bed and dozed until I was woken up
again at 350am by another contraction.

By this point, I was like “really...?
come on stomach.” I got up again, returned to the restroom, where
nothing was happening in there. Started to leave, and got another
contraction. By this point, I had figured out it had nothing to do
with my stomach. :) I stood next to the bed and waited for the next
one, watching the clock... and in 5 minutes I got another.

So I decided to get up... went out to
the living room and sat in the dark on my recliner/rocker, rocking
and reading FB and whatnot. Turned on my contraction timer...
contractions were anywhere between 8 min apart down to 4 and were a
solid 45 seconds to about min and a half long.

From 4am to 5am, there was a break in
pain between the contractions and I just waited through it. Toward
5am I had to start focusing through them, as they intensified... and
the pain never quite disappeared between contractions at this point.
I was starting to feel it in my back, so I changed positions to try
and relieve this, and it just made it worse. Leaning forward did
nothing... being on hands and knees was very uncomfortable.

By this point, the time between was
shortening down to 2-3 min between contractions. I still felt like
there was a bowel problem, so of course my brain starts coming up
with reasons why it would be my bowel and not labor. I had issues
with my bowels for the last week... so of course I was like “Maybe
it's a blockage!” and combining that with the fact that there was
constant pain and no break like I was taught between contractions, I
was thinking it was a medical emergency and not just having a baby.

I wait until 5:30 to wake up David.
Things were getting more and more intense and the pain between
contractions were getting worse. Having planned on a home birth, no
hospital bag had been packed... so I threw some things together...
and included a couple of baby things because if I was going to have
surgery, the baby was coming too.

Things were calm... there was no
scramble or anything like that. I really didn't want to go to the
hospital, but I was getting more and more concerned that there was a
problem that might affect the baby and I wasn't taking that risk.

We drove to the hospital... we were in
by 6am.

First thing they said: “Not a
blockage... you are likely in labor.”

Wonderful. I fell for the first time
mom newbie trick... blamed my pain on something else and ended up in
the hospital when that wasn't what I intended.

So they took me to a room, checked me,
and I was at 3.5cm. Went through all their questions... told them I
didn't want an epidural... but maybe
some pain meds to take the edge off. They told me that they would be
back in 45 min to check again... if there is progression, they will
check me in to labor and delivery. In the meantime, I was to lay on
the bed on my left side and see if the contractions would slow down.

Yeah... no. It made the contractions SO
MUCH WORSE. I tried so hard to tolerate it... and finally I was
allowed to get up and move.

Unfortunately, at this point, I was
unable to even THINK about walking down that hallway. I was in
constant pain... and when the contractions hit, they were sharp and
intense, causing me to tighten up, feeling like everything from my
ribs down to my knees was going to just explode into one hot mess in
that room. I couldn't even make my way off the bed. I just stood
there, shaking... thinking I was going to vomit from the pain. I am
NOT a puker... and this was purely a pain response. I had no nausea,
just a pure body reaction to the intense pain.

Finally they came back and checked me
again... I was at 5cm. It seemed like forever... even though it was
just the 45 minutes they said. They agreed that I was in labor and
started the process to get me wheeled up.

I told them an epidural was needed...
and soon. I told David to keep that trash can handy because I don't
know what my stomach is going to do.

So we get up there... all I can see is
the light at the end of the tunnel. The nurse was saying the
anesthesiologist was on his way to get this done right away for me
and they were going to start my IV and get me on some antibiotics
because I never had GBS testing. They had to do two rounds of
antibiotics I guess.

I just didn't really care... I wanted
relief... just some sort of SOMETHING to take the edge off.

Anesthesiologist showed up... real nice
guy. I liked him even more because he was salvation for me. Haha

We got the epidural done and done
quick. I barely felt the needle go in... for either my IV or the
epidural. Within 5 minutes, the roar of pain in my head dimmed enough
for me to think and take in my surroundings.

And boy was I thankful.

In another 10 minutes, the nurse
checked me again... this was maybe 45 minutes to an hour after the
last check... I was at 9cm! Looking back now, it's a good thing they
got that epidural in me when they did, otherwise they wouldn't have
been able to do it... I was too far along, and it was only like
830am. I'm pretty sure if I hadn't gotten the epidural, Quorra would
have easily been born by 10am.

However, I got the epidural... and that
took more than just the edge off. I couldn't feel CRAP. Most people
talk about having some sort of measure of muscle control... yeah, not
me.

The nurse and the doc came in... the
nurse was the best ever, named Mary Kay. She was so close to a
midwife... she was all about breastfeeding and skin on skin and all
about bonding with the baby.

Speaking of... I had researched this
hospital. I had a little inkling that this exact situation might
happen so I wanted to make sure I went with the right hospital. This
hospital has the 2 hour bonding process for the baby and they were
all about avoiding c-sections... I was very happy with it.

Both nurse and doc mentioned that my
body was just powering through heavy duty contractions every 1.5 to 2
min... “cranking them out”. Quorra was doing well... her heart
rate was remaining normal with the normal fluctuations. In fact, she
was kicking me and moving around the whole time. Earlier in the
process, I was convinced she was “hiding” under my ribs like
“hell no, I'm not leaving!”

About 11am, I started feeling the
contractions more. I mentioned it to the nurse, in case it meant
something. Come to find out, at about 1245 when she checked me again
to get ready to push, my water had broken on it's own... which is
likely why I started feeling the contractions again. No more cushion!

So we started the process of pushing...
and wow. I didn't realize I could push so hard. Hahaha I swear I blew
a few veins in my head... talk about a star burst each time that took
my breath away.

I ended up pushing for about an hour...
Quorra was still posterior and locked behind my pubic bone. She
unfortunately bears the mark of my pubic bone on her nose... poor
baby.

Toward the end, her cord came up near
her head, and got locked in the cervix, and it caused a massive
deceleration of her heart rate... down to 50. The nurse kicked into
gear, called in the doc, got oxygen on me, and the room was then
flooded with people ready to get the baby out NOW. The nurse was
good... she didn't express any urgency or tell me really what was
going on... I finally figured out what was happening and I started my
inner dialogue with Quorra, telling her to hang on, she will be out
in a bit. Right after telling her this, her heart rate returned back
to the 140's, where it had been normally.

I pushed maybe 2-3 more times after
this, and she finally came through with a loud garbled cry.

My reaction: “BABY!!” and burst
into tears.

They cleaned out her air ways and
placed her on my chest/belly in a towel... they kept rubbing her with
this terry towel, which I know was way too rough for her sensitive
newborn skin, so she kept crying because they kept rubbing at her.
She would quiet and look around when they would stop.

David got some video... I talked to her
a bit... held on to her for a bit while the placenta was being
birthed. They delayed the cord cutting at my request and they were
able to provide me my placenta for encapsulation without issue. David
cut the cord... and when we were ready, they took her away to weigh
and measure and whatnot.

At 7lbs 15oz and 21.25 inches long, she
was set and ready to be a 10lb baby if she had gone to 40 weeks. She
was born at 143pm at exactly 38 weeks. Her head thick dark LONG hair
was crazy... at almost 2 weeks old, she has lost a minor amount but
still definitely has it. :)

She didn't quite show on the October 17 like she had intended, but I think my pelvic floor was holding her back... if I hadn't done that release, it could have been even later.

She is the most amazing blessing and I am thankful for her presence every day. :)

Saturday, February 8, 2014

My adrenals are more damaged than I realized. Starting the iodine, with the detox and not normal reactions I'm getting, I started thinking they needed more support. So I grabbed this stuff called Rhodiola Recharge by Rainbow Light. Good stuff... excellent herbal blend.

Yeah my body liked it for about 12 hours.

My body started a reaction involving the gut and pain in my back and dizziness and crashing on energy and hypoglycemia... it's a severe version of what I deal with on a regular basis. So today I looked up odd reactions to adrenal supps... found Dr. Lam's site referencing something called "paradoxical reactions". These are reactions that even he has no idea why the body rejects things that will help it.

It's such a great site... he thinks like I do. Very methodical and his articles are ridiculously wordy but so informative and make sense.

Anyway... based on what I go through on a damn daily basis... I have Stage 3C damage. That is me. And he preaches that people need to not "self-navigate" when at this stage and a professional specialist is needed.

*ahem* Guilty! Hahaha

Because of this and how bad I crashed (its been rough) I actually contacted Dr. Lam and he actually wrote back this BOOK of explanation and asked me questions.. I think I'll use him to fix me up. I was reading thru his articles and it's crazy how bad it is, especially when that article is "talking about you".

So I ordered his book called Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome. It's a HUGE book... 500+ pages. It goes over almost every single aspect of adrenal problems that you could possibly think of.

Come to find out, my adrenals may be why I continue to miscarry.

So... I have stopped the majority of my vitamins. I'm letting my body rest for a bit and attempt to return back to normalcy. I do still take my betaine hcl with each meal, hoping to get my vitamins from my paleo diet, take some b vitamins, vitamin d and only 100% RDA of iodine. I do take the occasional selenium... every now and then.

I have started to build what I need to support the adrenals... I do see what I was missing throughout this time. I do wish that a doctor would guide me since I appear to be pretty hard core into the damage. I don't want to cause more damage, but nobody else seems to really understand how the adrenals work and what exactly they do for you.

To put it in layman's terms, the adrenals are like the timing chain/belt in a car (your body). If things aren't just right, the car isn't going to run properly. The computer (your brain) can try all it wants to correct issues in the system, or you can give it awesome fuel and oil (diet and vitamins), but without the timing belt being on the proper pegs or at the proper location, it's just going to be an inefficient system that eventually leads to the car breaking down. Sometimes you just have to take it apart, and put it back together... so this is why I have stopped the vitamins and I am attempting to stop stress.

For those who are aware that stress causes disease... the adrenals are what control your stress response. I have found how PTSD severely damages the adrenals, due to the constant fight or flight response. Autoimmune issues cause damage. Trauma causes damage. Parasite infection causes damage.

Pardon my french, but no fucking wonder my adrenals are in a shit state. I have had 3 of the 4 things I just listed above in the last 4 years!!

Time to correct it... and only time will tell how well this works. I'm hoping Dr. Lam helps me out with this.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

You know how we have to make sure they are de-wormed yearly or every 6 months?

Why don't humans think that we need to be de-wormed too?

Sure... it is the most disgusting thing to have to deal with.... but you could die if you don't.

How many of us have been feeling chronically sick, just to have the doctor tell us that we are perfectly healthy?

*raises hand*

I have tried almost everything to calm my system down... figure out why I have suddenly acquired food allergies... why I have gained a ton of weight and I am physically unable to lose it, even though my hormones, CBC, nutrient status, and metabolic panel shows that I'm perfectly healthy.

Why my lymphatic system is so touchy.

One of the reasons why I can't carry a baby and lose them within days.

This is one thing I haven't tried, and let me tell you why: because I believed that as an American in this "sanitary" society, it wasn't possible for me to get a parasite. I must be somewhere in the jungle in Africa to get a parasite. None of that stuff ever happens here in this country. We are immune.

Wrong.

If dogs and cats can get them, so can we. Especially when you have an autoimmune disease which naturally gives you a weakened system.

Anybody who has any sort of autoimmune issue, walks around barefoot, has sushi, swims in public waters... you could have a parasite living within, and NOT KNOW IT.

So lemme give you the quick and dirty rundown of this whole parasite thing:

It's gross. I cannot believe how HORRIFIED I was (and still am) that I had FUCKING WORMS inside me!!

Yeah, you know those twitchy muscles you get? It's probably not your muscle... it's probably a worm in your leg.

How do I know this?

Because I've had a lot of twitchy muscles for the past few years... random twitches... the occasional repeated "thumping". I started this parasite cleanse, and every single twitch, cramp, and bit of numbness came to life within a day. I was twitching and things were VERY CLEARLY moving.

I was so horrified that I went through a couple brief "Alien" moments where I wanted to stab my leg and pull out the worm physically. But, I got past it... kept going. But oh, I knew that Wormwood was working when my leg would tweak all day because I took a double dose.

There are many different parasites. People with fatty livers may have liver flukes; one of the easiest to remove. Then there are the big guys... the ones the size of your finger that's hanging out in your gut. *shiver*

So to keep things pretty simple, this is what I did:

I got a hold of a box of Parastroy. So inexpensive at maybe $20 a box... and this stuff is so easy... two pills from each bottle in the morning and in the evening, totalling 8 pills a day.

Parastroy has two different bottles in it. One is ParaSweep, and the other is ParaRid. ParaRid is the one that actually kills them. Most of the time it's a minor nervine reaction to the green black walnut hulls, cloves, garlic, which causes them to convulse and die, which is the reason why I could feel them wriggling around after starting this. ParaSweep is to help keep your intestines moving, which equals getting bugs OUT.

Better out than in right?

It was so easy... and scary enough, it got results. I didn't want to see the results, but I'm a well known poop inspector, thanks to my Celiac issues, and well... I saw things that I've never ever EVER seen in that toilet before that came from me.

So disgusting.

So my husband had less of a problem than I did. He doesn't have the crazy autoimmune problems I do, but like I said earlier, everybody needs to do this at least yearly. He would have been just fine with just a round of Parastroy, which lasts about 20 days.

Not me.

So, when I was done with the first round, I knew there were still some things left over, so I waited 4 days or so, and then started on ginger pills and beet root as well as wormwood drops. My husband joined me for a bit, but he wasn't so into it... it wasn't really necessary for him.

The ginger pills and beet root did ok. Parastroy was better, but I needed to hit it at another angle. Wormwood was the most effective and I got results as well.

In 3 weeks of starting the ginger/beetroot/wormwood, I was feeling even better and I'm comfortable with waiting for 6 months to do another round of Parastroy.

All in all, I am very happy that I did this. I learned a lot during the time... did a lot of research regarding parasites and how you get them and what other ailments are associated. For example, heavy metal toxicity, candida, and parasites all go hand in hand. If you have parasites, you likely have candida and heavy metal toxicity. I can confirm this for myself. If you have heavy metal toxicity, you may have parasites, but you definitely have candida. If you have candida, you may or may not have heavy metal toxicity or parasites... so you can see the waterfall effect.

If you have candida, you need to keep an eye out. Candida is the canary in the coal mine signalling a major problem that you need to address.

Sadly... this is not the answer to all my prayers... there is still an issue for me to handle. But, I will go over that in another post a bit later, once I confirm my next finding's (iodine) ability to change everything about my body.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

"According to The Centers for Disease Control’s Assisted Reproductive Technology Report, low levels of zinc have been directly linked to miscarriage in the early stages of a pregnancy due to an inability for cells to divide properly, making maintaining the level of this important mineral essential to a healthy pregnancy."

http://hethir.hubpages.com/hub/How-Essential-is-Zinc-to-Fertility

So, as you know, I regularly have chemical pregnancies.

I have had problems with my zinc levels for a long time. I've tried different types and as of a couple days ago, I was taking an amino acid chelated zinc with copper for the past few months. I couldn't seem to get my stretch marks to heal (they are 2 years old!) And have very slow wound healing as well as my hair comes out in handfuls.

So, I had found out how to properly muscle test, which is basically getting answers from your subconscious about the status of your body, and I found out I'm taking the wrong kind of zinc as well as not taking in enough magnesium and biotin. So I went out Thursday and got me some new vitamins that my body claims to be able to absorb better. The biotin one surprised me... very interesting.

As of Thursday, I was CD16 and thinking it would be an anov cycle because of the detox I was doing. My opks were stark white.

Took my new vitamins that evening and did a second dose the next morning to immediately up my levels. I've been having problems with parasthesias in my mouth and I want it gone.

Friday, October 25, 2013

So I'm currently in the middle of a pretty heavy detoxification protocol, using the super antioxidant alpha lipoic acid and chlorella.

Yes yes... they have warnings that chlorella should not be used for those with autoimmune diseases, I get it.

But... the fact that I am completely cavewoman paleolithic in my diet (no grains, no dairy, very little sugar) as well as no nightshades and no FODMAPs... I have removed from my diet anything that may set off my system and compete with the chlorella.

In fact, I've been doing this for 2 months now... and guess who has two thumbs and HASN'T lost weight?

This girl. - _ -

NOT acceptable. I don't work my ass off eating the way that I do to get nothing out of it except an immune system that isn't being set off like the fire alarm all the time.

So I did some research... found that alpha lipoic acid does go through cell walls and also through the blood brain barrier, helping you FULLY detoxify, as well as re-energizing your mitochondria, which are responsible for your metabolism.

So while the alpha lipoic acid is washing out my cells that appear to be completely full of crap, the chlorella runs through my blood stream and picks up what was tossed out of the cells, binds to it, and sends it to the exit down south.

I have been on this for a week. I am on the weakest dosage possible of both... and holy crap, my system started right back up running, but I have the hugest hangover from it. I am drinking a ton of water and eating as much fiber as I can to keep the system running smoothly.

Anyway... so the full reason of this post (because I don't have real time for an update at this time) is that I had noticed, just this week while doing this detox, that my lip numbness, faintness, and anxiety returned after lunch for some reason, within an hour.

I have determined that my b12 levels weren't doing so good... it was immediately remedied by my sublingual b12 tablets.... I'm talking within 5 minutes.

So I wanted to see what the full role that b12 had in the whole detoxification process, and if my already limited stores are being used up quicker and I need to up my dosage for the time.

Found a wonderful link for those who like to get into the full science of the whole process like me:

Friday, July 5, 2013

While I did ask for a life change... I didn't ask for my life to be ripped up out of the ground and torn to shreds.

As of my last update post, I had left my previous job and had just accepted a new one, which has turned out wonderfully. I'm not stressed at work... and I think they may actually use my capabilities better than any corporate job would.

Also ovulated on my own for the first time in a reasonable amount of time, showing the release of work related stress.

That was just the start.

Not a week later, on June 10, my husband totaled his 2000 Corolla in a freak incident involving hay bales that fell out of someone's truck, causing chain reaction chaos that unfortunately David was involved in.

You can see one of the other vehicles in this pic and their crunched up front end, as well as the hay bale on the freeway.

So we go from paid off Corolla... to new-to-us Toyota Matrix (basically a Corolla with a hatchback) with a payment. Wonderful, after I've taken a massive pay cut with my job change.

So that was Monday.

That same Friday, we found out that my sister, who was 24 weeks pregnant with my niece, Emily, had stopped feeling movement... and Emily had passed away. My sister had the heartbreaking experience of a second trimester loss... which dredged up all kinds of hell within me with all my losses, mostly my January loss.

Two days later... I got a positive pregnancy test.

It was so faint, it almost wasn't there, and that's 14dpo, so I had the feeling it was going to be yet another chemical pregnancy... and it was. The tests were negative by that evening after a long hold. I tried the next morning with my first morning pee, and still negative.

The next day, my sister was induced and she birthed baby Emily at 6:05pm. The baby was so tiny... Feeling my sister's anguish over losing her first born and her sobbing and apologizing... absolutely heart wrenching.

My bleeding from my chemical pregnancy started as my sister birthed Emily. That was truly strange.

Then we had a week of nothing happening... everything was going ok.

And then more hell broke loose...

Our dog, 1 year old Banner, who had been struggling with epileptic grand mal seizures, was killed by a cluster of seizures that went for too long on July 3rd.

This was such a shock... we didn't think he'd die from it. We only had the puppy for 6 months... he was found as a stray. He was so frickin adorable too... the cutest boxer/pitbull mix I've ever seen, known as a bullboxer pit. This picture was taken a week before he passed. We were showing off his new Batman collar and his personalized tag we just got for him.

So that happened two days ago... yesterday was Emily's memorial where we released balloons with notes attached to them, written to Emily. Mine was written to Emily and Banner... I'm sure my husband's was also. We both put our notes on the same balloon... it weighed it down more than the others, so it took longer to take off... but then finally a wind gust caught it and pulled it up and away.

So today I sit at my computer... feeling pretty sorry for myself. This past month has sucked ASS. The only good things were that I ovulated on my own and I have a new wonderful job that doesn't drive me insane.

I don't think I can handle anymore heartache... with the loss in January, now a new one which almost wasn't there to up my tally of lost pregnancies to 11 since December 2010... losing my puppy who was well trained and smart and just so happy... losing my niece... knowing my sister is now a member of the stillbirth club...

I can't do it anymore.

Universe... please please please give me/us a break.

I really hope that this death cycle is over... death of my baby, death of my grandpa by suicide in March, death of my sister's baby, death of my puppy... all in 6 months.

This seriously tests my limits of acceptance... I typically will accept things and move on relatively easily. I have the belief that I wrote all of my life path... so I take comfort in that I wrote this in so I can experience it and accept it. Appeals to my need to control my life I think.

But this is going far... I'm having a hard time accepting that so much has been taken from me lately, while I continue to give and give all I can with educating people and helping them feel better...

Spectracell Labs posted a very informative blog post regarding vitamins and weight management here that flipped on the light bulb for me today.

I was so thrilled I almost cried.

So let me start from the beginning with a bit of background.

I have expressed in prior posts how I had been overweight, went thru the hcg diet a few times, got down to my ideal weight, and then I gained weight like no other in the next year, unable to control my weight gain with my strict immense willpower when it comes to food. I gained some 90lbs and would have kept going if I hadn't found my Celiac at the end of 2011. Went gluten free and weight gain stopped... but no weight loss ever happened on its own.

Found out last September that I had a severe vitamin B5 deficiency after being tested by Spectracell Labs. Come to find out, this is normal for celiacs, as I think I mentioned in my post back then.

So... I started supplementing B5 after finishing yet another round of hcg dieting that was absolutely fruitless. (No weight loss at all)

Got pregnant in November... and I actually lost a size while pregnant. No crazy food issues either. No major morning sickness that prevented me from eating or anything.

Lost the baby in January... and ran out of my huge bottles of pantothenic acid then. Thinking I didn't need it anymore, I didn't bother to replace them.

I gained 10lbs in the following two months... realized I felt like crap again so I started up the b5 again at half the dose, and realized I'll probably have to supplement for the rest of my life... I just don't absorb it properly.

Ok so now that you have the short and sweet story... the reason for this whole post.

Spectracell mentioned in their blog that B5 is the precursor to the enzyme lipase, which is the FAT BURNING ENZYME.

Holy mother of god... I found the reason why I gained so much weight uncontrollably and now I know how to reverse it.

I've been all about the enzymes lately... I knew I was lacking in lipase but I couldn't figure out why nor how to fix it, other than to supplement with digestive enzymes.

If I look back at my history it all makes sense.

Fasted with the hcg diet a number of times in 2009, likely depleting cellularly stored pantothenic acid. Since I don't absorb it properly, I wasn't able to replenish it. With each hcg round, my ability to lose weight decreased and the weight loss would slow. I notoriously lost less weight than others doing the same diet and even with them cheating on it and me being very strict.

So I gained after I was done with those. A lot. No lipase available to burn fat as energy.

Fast forward to October last year... didn't lose at all... my stores were empty, as referenced by my nutrition report.

November thru January supplementing 1g a day and lost a pant size (didn't lose scale weight, but didn't gain either).

Bottle ends and I gain weight back.

I get a new bottle and flip from taking 500mg to 1g a day... mostly 500mg a day. I fluctuate in size... I don't know my smaller days are related to the 1g or not.

SO... I took 2g today of pantothenic acid. My normal 500 this morning and 1500mg this evening.

I so can't wait to see if this is going to work for me.

I will check in with this later.

As of this morning, I am 225.2 lbs.

In the meantime, check out this wonderfully written article about pantothenic acid: