#6 EV(al)S: We’ve built us a monument

Finally. I am here. I am sitting by my laptop to write a few words concluding the adventure of my life. The end of the year? Yeah, too. But what gave me the real impact and inspiration was… another me. Almost 40 clones of me that I met at the EVS evaluation meeting in Konstancin-Jeziorna (can a Polish city sound more Polish than this?). Seriously, these folks were so alike! Same mindset, same vibe, same hearts. You know, somehow my EVS in Berlin was almost flawless. Both my seminars/trainings (Hamburg and Munich) were amazing, all the people I met there were fantastic. And this EVS eval weekend for Polish volunteers now? It was the best icing on the cake one can imagine (“truskawka na torcie” hehe).

I dedicate this last article to all the lovely, warm, awesome, inspiring, energetic, smart, creative, good people I met during my entire EVS journey – both in Germany and Poland, including foreign volunteers I met before EVS, who inspired me to take this step. You know who you are.

As I looove music and it was/is a very important part of my life (not only) during my EVS, I will write this post referring to lyrics of German songs I got to know over the last year. For the purpose of this text, I will interpret them my way. Normally, I don’t pay attention to lyrics, but this time it is different. As the whole EVS experience was so different. It was all just something totally else.

Although it was dark, gloomy, a bit rainy and cold already when I came to Berlin for my project in November, although my room was tiny and shabby (and my organisation’s office a bit too haha), my life was all kinda fresh and shiny. It was all cool and exciting. On my birthday I went to IKEA and bought myself the cheapest desk for my room. Brand new piece of furniture for 9,90 euro.

Time. I have a different perspective on time now. During my EVS I could gather my thoughts and understand better myself and the world I live in alike. The notion of time was always present in my thinking. Fascinating, but also terrifying thing. I was very motivated to learn German. I wanted to learn it as quick as possible. Time. Traditional learning from books, grammar and stuff, ok, too, but apps, websites, TV as well. I thought I could watch a German series. I found 'Dark' on Netflix. The purpose was to learn and listen to a bit of German. Now it is my favourite show and I cannot wait too watch the second season.

We listened to this song in my office million times as Didier Awadi is connected with my organization, which organized a concert in Berlin in the past, before I came to my project. I also interpret it here as a musical symbol of a mental, very positive revolution I experienced during my EVS.

Damit ich wieder bisschen atmen kann / So I can breathe a little bit again

Wenn was endet, fängt was Neues an / When something ends, something new begins

Muss nur dran glauben und dann wird alles gut / Just got to believe it and then everything will be fine

One more ‘office’ song. This time from 104,6 RTL Berlin Radio. A bit cheesy, but hence pretty funny. We were singing it sometimes with my awesome colleagues. Metaphoric. Also in the context of my own change. A change in an emotional and thinking being.

It was cold, snowy March morning and I was walking to my 'Intensiv Deutschkurs' (4 hours a day, 5 times a week for the whole month). The streets of Berlin were then just ugly and dirty. Like in the song. Berlin is sometimes like this.

Bewahr ich alle diese Bilder im Kopf / I save all of these photos in my head

Ich weiß noch, als wir das erste Mal gechillt haben im Loft / I remember the first time we chilled in the loft

Ich bewahr mir diese Bilder im Kopf / I saved all these photos in my head

I have so many memories in my head. I was listening to this song while walking on the streets of Berlin and thinking about evanescence, that my time there would probably eventually end one day and I would just save these moments of wandering through this fantastic city in my head.

Die Party ist gelungen wir sind taub und blind / The party is a success, we are deaf and blind

I came back to Berlin after Easter break in Poland in the beginning of April. The city was something totally else than when I left it couple of days earlier. Spring has come. It was light, warm and full of people drinking coffee on the streets. Ida joined me as a second EVS volunteer in my organization. She brought a lot of energy and creativity with her. Next months were very active and a lot of fun. A plenty of outdoor events and activities. And A CRAZY PARTY TIME IN A CRAZY PARTY CITY.

An Tagen wie diesen, wünscht man sich Unendlichkeit / On days like these, you wish for infinity

An Tagen wie diesen, haben wir noch ewig Zeit / On days like these, we still have everlasting time

In dieser Nacht der Nächte, die uns so viel verspricht / In this night of nights that promises us so much

Erleben wir das Beste, kein Ende ist in Sicht / We're experiencing the best, no end is in sight

Great days. My EVS in Berlin was fantastic and I was realising it while being there. I was thinking about it – how beautiful these days were. And I knew that they would be gone. Even if I stay in Berlin or in Germany, it wouldn't be the same. It would be different me as every minute of passing time makes us different people. The global circumstances change. Everything changes. Time. We get older. Our family members and our friends get older. Death is drawing a bit nearer. The world is different every minute. Notion of time again. All the time. Everywhere. Time.

BUT THE VALUES ARE REAL. There is no correlation between these lyrics and my experiences, but I like it musically very much (although I know that this band allegedly had some intolerant and unfriendly statements in their lyrics in the past). Only the title of the song is EVS-ish to me. All the materials from Erasmus+, things, gadgets we get during trainings, small bags, badges etc. have some ‘big’, bombastic, effusive slogans and texts printed on them. I am looking right now at a bag we were given on our Eval meeting – it says: Erasmus+ zmienia życie, otwiera umysły (changes life, opens minds). Sounds very much like a commercial’s slogan (these bug me so much!). Untrue and artificial. But…

…after my EVS, somehow I BELIEVE IN IDEALS AGAIN. At least in some of them. These slogans ‘happened’ to me. Things we were talking about during trainings, things we were working on in my organization, all the beautiful feelings and states of mind and relationships, freedom, satisfaction, friendship, tolerance, open-mindedness, self-development, fulfilment, mindfulness, pride of oneself, positive thinking. All these fantastic people I met. THESE WERE NOT ONLY EMPTY WORDS. In this difficult times, I needed it. I wanted to be good and true and free. Now, after my EVS I feel so much stronger. So fresh and inspired. And I believe in good and empathy. I know that there's good and empathy. That there are good people. I know there are people like me. With almost exactly same thinking as mine. And there’s a lot of them. Even here, on this statistically pretty sad, boring, negative Polish soil. I’ve just met 40 of them! They gave me the reason to believe. THESE ARE NOT EMPTY WORDS.

I think of this song 'collectively'. I think of all the EVS volunteers I know. WE ALL DID SOMETHING GREAT. For ourselves and for others, for those we’ve worked, played, just talked with, whom we’ve helped. For all the people we’ve met on our path. I guess we’ve all learnt so much about other people, other cultures, but also, I guess most importantly, about ourselves.

I did a lot of volunteering in the past, but this was something one of a kind, something absolutely unique and I cannot imagine something could beat that ever. There is no need for this however. I feel I can use this potential and positiveness I gained till the very end of myself. Even if I would get somehow a bit lost, I won’t be afraid. I have ideas, tools and techniques to cope with every situation. I have places to come back to. And most importantly, I have plenty of amazing, emphatic, responsible, full of love and good friends I can always count on. Friends who would always save me from evil and misery.

In the song they sing Sie haben uns ein Denkmal gebaut (They’ve built us a monument/memorial), but I would also change it slightly.

My fantastic friends, WE’VE BUILT US MONUMENTS. I guess eternal monuments. Not only left we traces on lives of others, we’ve changed them, we’ve become heroes to some of them. Some got from us all the best we have in us. We’ve built us monuments in themselves. And it was often mutual. We got the same from them. They helped us. Thanks to them too, we’ve managed. We’ve built us monuments. In our hearts and minds. We’ve changed ourselves. We’ve become our own heroes. We've gained eternal pride. We had to make decisions, we had to overcome obstacles, we had to put effort. And we did it. We could think of us as separate cases. And it would still be awesome and totally fantastic. However I’d rather think of it for a second as of a whole thing. Whole thing. Because then it is one of the most beautiful and amazing things I can imagine.

During my EVS I’ve learnt to change perspective (Perspektiven wechseln – check my first post). Sometimes I was observing myself as if there was a camera in the top corner of my room or a drone over my head when I was walking through Berlin (and damn, I’ve walked a lot through the whole city, I loved those walks). I felt like a character in a book or a movie, all these emotions and new situations, new people and friendships, travelling, falling from a bike, drinking too much beer and mulled wine, beating running records in the park, dancing like insane in crazy techno clubs till mornings, doing successfully bookkeeping in German (ich habe Erfahrung!), buying a Druckertoner and post stamps, getting a spare key to the office, printing in the copy shop, buying Schinken und Käse croissants in Lidl, eating Lammkopfsuppe and Shakalaka mit Hünchen, video recording the conferences and symposiums, understanding at least a little bit the concept of white supremacy, telling spontaneous jokes in German that actually made people laugh, having extraordinary conversations with strangers, all the moments, all the big and small adventures. Really. It was a wonderful life. It is now a wonderful life. And a WONDERFUL LIFE will it be.