This is a short video of 9-week old Fiona the hippopotamus at the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden. In the video, Fiona repeatedly sticks her tongue out to suckle while she's sleeping, presumably because, much like myself, sleeping hippos often dream of having a boob in their mouth. I guess it's just another one of those shared mammalian experiences that separates us from the birds. "Whatever, I dream of tits all the time." Donald Duck! "Meep meep!" Road Runner!

Keep going for the video while I pray for a motorboating filled daydream.

Thanks to Stephanie B, who's convinced humans evolved from hippos. Me? I'm convinced humans evolved from the original 2000 release of The Sims.

Hippos kill 655,000 people each year. Sharks kill on average one person every two years.

But sure... baby hippo is kind of cute, I guess.

Jenness

I have no idea why, but this reminds me of the time Peter Griffin on Family Guy was blindfolded but trying to feed a horse from his hand and he wondered aloud if he was actually feeling an old woman's snatch.