With this whole process comes a lot of thoughts, with a lot of thoughts the need for an outlet arises...thus the blog.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

The need to feed, and a birthday...

For me personally there aren't too many things more fantastic than feeding people yummy food...that I made with my own two hands. I just love it. I literally spent four hours on my feet cooking in the kitchen today and not one time did I think to myself..."gee this sucks". First I should say that I'm not one those cooks who can dream up anything and make it into something fantastic. I'm strictly by the recipe kind of gal. Most of the time. And nothing too crazy because I have a cave man for a husband who barely eats anything green, freshly steamed, had a shell at one time or contains some sort of vinegar. That's not all, I'm being nice. There's something about getting all the ingredients to agree with each other and become one big happy family at the end playing nicely on the plate or bowl. It's pretty cathartic for me actually as is this blog or maybe running for some people. I pop on some tunes and begin the process of which I enjoy every last part. I guess it's the chance to really be alone with my own thoughts, make my brain work a different way than normal, problem solve and anticipate. But my need to feed really is fulfilled when I make a lot of food that people love and then send them home with leftovers. Tis my favorite. I can still remember one of the first things I learned to cook by myself, scrambled eggs. My mama taught me and I think it's awesome that I can still remember it. It wasn't any dreamy magical mother daughter moment but it was time out of her day with a million kids to focus on just me. Even if just for a few minutes. I hope to be able to make those kind of intentional moments with Emery as times she can remember. Right now this time I have with her, just us isn't going to last forever. Or at least I hope we are blessed with more children. I cooked for people I love tonight. People who prayed for my girl before she became my girl. People who financially supported my girl before she became my girl. They all came together to celebrate her turning two. My baby turned two last week. I am verklempt. I was so emotional that whole day and I kept thinking to myself, "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! She doesn't want to remember you crying on every single birthday she has!". She is turning into to such a little lady these days. Forming complete sentences and asking questions too, I simply can't get enough. She's my little sidekick and one of my dearest little friends. She does the cutest thing ever. She'll walk up to me standing or sitting doesn't matter and she'll grab my leg and hold on to me saying..."Awwwwww mama". That's it, and I love it. She's so smart! She can count to ten (occasionally she'll skip six), she'll say things like "where's daddy?", "I got it", "I go potty", "I don't want to". She's so sweet to our puppies and they both are very tolerant allowing her to climb on them and also shout "NO!" if they are in her face. I have no idea where she learned that. She copies basically everything I say which I've discovered is sometimes hilarious and also a swift kick in the pants. I just can't imagine not having her in my life. She has made me dig deep in myself to discover a very self absorbed person in need of a rescue. She has shown me humor and kindness and has made me want to be a better mama for her. This little love of mine can't be moved. She's here to stay and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't I tell her I love her, that I need her, and that I'm thankful for her. Tonight I watched people eat my food, love on my girl and leave my home with fully bellies and some leftovers.

1 comment:

Awesome. First, happy birthday to your sweet girl! Second, I can totally relate to the cooking thing, although I would rather bake than cook. I still remember the first thing I learned to bake from scratch-coffee cake. I am so thankful that I have gotten to share a bit of your journey from afar. It's been so amazing to see what God has done. :)