October 03, 2007

Well, that was quick.

A few days after I moved into my new place I discovered that the person who is living across from me is a delicious tart of a mid-20s-ish guy. Which would great, except for the fact that I then started checking my hair before going to the mailboxes, not dropping my ratty laundry in the hallway, putting on pants just to go to the storage area, etc etc. It's very taxing, and given that I'd never actually date a guy in his mid-20s, A COMPLETE WASTE OF MY TIME.

Last night I was coloring my hair, which really counts as sufficient multi-tasking in my world, but I also needed to do laundry. My hair was in mid-color, chemically slathered and shaped into a cone,
and I was wearing crocs, gym shorts, and a t-shirt with a giant hole
in the back. What to do, what to do? I waffled for a minute, but the rigors of opening the closet, selecting a sweatshirt, putting one arm through the sleeve, and then a whole different arm through a whole different sleeve seemed a bit much, so I tromped on down to the laundry room as I was.

On the way back up from the laundry room I noticed the hole in the back of my shirt had a mid-sized sibling in the armpit/side. I wasn't wearing a bra (again, too much work). Now, I'm not properly proportioned to be running around in public without support - my boob could have swung through the hole and gotten stuck. So, if the tasty little muffin had run into me I wonder what the tally would have been? She may be strangely coiffed and dressed like a hobo, but at least I can see her boob a little bit. I'm not positive, but I think most heterosexual males would consider that a win. Go me!