A Self Assessment

A simple, dark backdrop. Two chairs facing each other. In one sits Chris Long. A man who works five days a week, occasionally spends too much on comics and can happily talk about movies for hours. In the other chair is Christopher Long. He's an author.

Chris:How’ve you been?

Christopher:Do you really want to put this out into the world for everyone to see? No one wants to read about the arguments we have in your head.

Chris:I wouldn’t say everyone will read this. It’s a bit of an epic. Besides, have you seen the numbers for this site?

Christopher:Alright, let’s put it another way. Do you really think we should be doing this when we’re meant to be writing a novel?

Chris:The new novel. Let’s focus on that.

Christopher:Ah, you mean the novel you’re afraid of?

Chris:I’m not afraid of it.

Christopher:Please. What do you think this is?

Chris:A blog.

Christopher:It’s avoidance.

Chris:I wanted to share the process.

Christopher:The process of avoidance?

Chris:If you’re not going to play nicely…

Christopher:Fine, here’s a question. Why did you try and start a new idea last week?

Chris:You noticed that?

Christopher:Of course, I noticed. You wasted a whole morning on it.

Chris:It was a moment of weakness.

Christopher:It wasn’t even a good idea!

Chris:I was panicking. We needed to get something finished.

Christopher:Silly me, I keep forgetting all the great books are written in a blind rush for the finish.

Chris:Don’t start that again. It’s our second novel. It’s not going to one of the great books.

Christopher:It could be. Any novel could be. You just need to trust it. Which means it might take a little longer.

Chris:But everyone else is getting stuff released.

Christopher:Good for them.

Chris:But it’s all really good stuff and we’ve not released a novel in over a year. We’re falling behind.

Christopher:It’s not a race.

Chris:…it feels like a race sometimes.

Christopher:Listen, even if every other writer we know wins the Nobel prize for literature, it has nothing to do with us or our novel. Think of all the work you’ve put into it. Do you really want to throw that away just because it’s hard work?

Chris:I don’t know. Maybe.

Christopher:You’ve never had the stomach for novels.

Chris:That’s not true. We wrote one.

Christopher:And that was like getting blood from a stone. At least the title was appropriate in the end.

Chris:I thought you liked our first novel.

Christopher:I do, but I prefer the second one.

Chris:The one we can’t finish?

Christopher:If you’d commit to it, we’d have finished it by now.

Chris:I am committed to it.

Christopher:Then what’s this?

Chris:It’s a chance to discuss where we are.

Christopher:Look, a novel has the chance to be something more than just a story. It can be an experience, greater than the sum of its parts. You remember that night we got obsessed with Picasso, don’t you? We heard how he’d changed the way he worked because the camera let everyone else capture the world perfectly. He decided to try and paint in a way no camera could never replicate. Novels can do the same thing. Think about movies and television. Think about how they tell their stories. If our novel is going to compete with them then it needs to be an artistic endeavour and that takes time.

Chris:Are you about to lecture me about not finishing Infinite Jest again?

Christopher:I’m serious. You need to decide. Do you want to put in the work to create something artistic or do you want to phone in some tacky page turner?

Chris:Would you stop talking like that? People are going to think we’re pretentious.

Christopher:Have you seen the beard and glasses?

Chris:There’s nothing wrong the mainstream. Look at any bestseller list.

Christopher:Most of which have movie or TV deals.

Chris:Not all of them.

Christopher:The most successful writers make a lot of money, but they do it by writing a brand. By following a formula. Is that what you want?

Chris:Well, money sounds good…

Christopher:When you started writing as a boy, did you do it for the money?

Chris:I liked the attention.

Christopher:But you didn’t ask for a fee.

Chris:I didn’t have any bills back then.

Christopher:So, we’re selling out?

Chris:I never said that. Besides, I’m not entirely sure that’s an option.

Christopher:We’re an indie writer. That’s not a bad thing. We have an understanding publisher, some people who like us and a job to pay the bills. That gives us the room to try and create something of our own. Doesn’t that sound good to you?

Chris:I think someone else’s beard and glasses are showing now.

Christopher:You’re a child.

Christopher gets up and walks away. His chair falls to the ground. Chris quickly scribbles some notes and sprints for his laptop. He has a blog to write.