Halloween Costumes Guys Should Never Wear

A mascot

Although the thought of dressing up like the Easter Bunny or Frosty the Snowman at Halloween may at first seem amusing, keep in mind that these poorly constructed mascot costumes are generally cumbersome and difficult to communicate through. They’re also inadequately ventilated, which means that you’re going to be hotter than a snake’s ass in a wagon rut within minutes of fastening your head into place. If you thought your cologne could be off-putting, just wait until women catch a whiff of the three gallons of sweat that has collected in your crappy Halloween costume.

Captain Jack Sparrow

There’s nothing worse than arriving at the tail end of a popular trend, which is precisely what will happen if you dress up in this jaunty pirate’s outfit, and it's precisely why it makes our list of Halloween costumes guys should never wear. Although Captain Jack was something of a novelty when Pirates of the Caribbean first hit theaters in 2003, it’s now more played out than a Village People record at a gay disco. If you’re looking to emulate a more contemporary cinematic icon this Halloween, we recommend one of the Spartan warriors from 300, McLovin from Superbad or the unforgettable breached baby head from Knocked Up. Come on, everyone loves babies!

Charles Manson

If you thought it was difficult to attract women when you were dressed in a floral blouse, try doing it with a swastika temporarily tattooed on your forehead. You’ll quickly discover that most Halloween partygoers aren’t interested in mingling with someone whose idea of a good time involves mass murder and consensual homicide. Manson is an especially creepy Halloween costume choice because he’s still alive and kicking at California’s Corcoran State Prison, where he is known as inmate # B33920. If you still insist on dressing like a serial killer, stick with fictional characters like Norman Bates, Freddy Krueger or Michael Myers instead. After all, everyone likes to be scared, but not by someone who is eligible for parole in 2012, which makes this one a Halloween costume guys should never wear.

dressed to kill

Your Halloween will be off to a good start if you adhere to our list of Halloween costumes guys should never wear. Without these crappy ideas, you’re sure to produce screams of delight rather than shrieks of horror. Now get out there and enjoy the festivities. And for crying out loud, put on a mask — you don’t want to scare the children! Resourcehttp://en.wikipedia.org