The Job Ad

Bored with retirement, Barney went into the Job Center in downtown Denver and saw a card advertising for a “Gynecologist’s Assistant”. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.

The clerk pulled up the file and read, “The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they’re ready for the gynecologist’s examination. The annual salary is $65,000, and you’ll have to go to Billings, Montana.”

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Pathos in the Plumbing

I'm starting to believe the biggest threat to humanity is our regular exposure to weapons-grade propaganda. It's only a matter of time before the real shit hits the fan though. At the end of the day, when Maslow's hierarchy of needs implodes like a poorly made souffle, whatever it is that you "believe" about the world around you just won't matter.

If the reality is that you can't get clean drinking water for a week, the reality is that you will die. If the reality is that sea levels are rising, then your beachfront property is gone. If the reality is that CO2 levels have increased to a point that the ecosystem no longer works, then it doesn't matter who you voted for, because you're fucked! If the reality is that someone uses the nuclear option, then all the posturing in the world isn't going to save us.

Of course this is all just your typical fourteen year old "deep thoughts" bullshit even if it is right. About all we can do is just sit back and watch as the trainwreck unfolds.

Pax,
-f2x

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Sunday’s Rant

I just wanted to sort of illustrate what I'm using to connect to the internet these days. Since "Sputum" was so kind as to make me despise everything about them, I've had to find an alternative form of home internet.

Make no mistake: This shit sucks. The typical internet user goes through about 60 GB per month. I have to seriously budget every bit that I download. Still, it's better than the bad taste left in my mouth from the "Sputum".

Oh, in case you're wondering how I get 20GB for $50/month, I use two separate sim cards from "Mint sim". Each is 10GB for $25/month. I just swap them out as I use up the data. I also have one for my cell phone, so technically I get 30GB for $75/month. If anyone knows of a cheaper/better plan, please let me know. Their throttled speeds are basically crap, and I really miss binging on Netflix.

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GET THE PLUNGER!

This is another JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic that occasionally gets posted on the weekend.

Most of the jokes are offensive. This site publishes offensive jokes because offensive jokes make the reader feel uncomfortable with the taboo subject and thus enhances the underlying humor that would simply not be as funny without it.

So what makes a joke funny? Well, it boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn't overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.