Jeff the Older Boyfriend From Princesses: Long Island Is the New Best Worst Person on Reality TV

At first glance, I thought Princesses: Long Island was just your typical Bravo one-off: a bunch of girls making up nicknames for themselves, drunken grunting, a title with puzzling syntax. But it turns out that Princesses: Long Island is so much more, because Princesses: Long Island has Jeff, Amanda's Older Boyfriend. I think Jeff, Amanda's Older Boyfriend should be on all shows from now on, reality and otherwise, because he brings a lot to the table. He points out obvious things and labels them as obvious—"she's crying, obviously," he announced last night, as everyone watched a person cry—while drinking from a small silver chalice I get the distinct feeling he brought for himself. He patronizes waiters—"Listen to me, we definitely would like to take a Bento Box if you have that. What's your name? Juan? Juan, nice to meet you." Oh, I'm sure the pleasure is all Juan's. Especially if he happened to catch the dis-gusting make-out sesh that immediately followed. (Somewhere, a former Bravo cameraperson is googling new career options, and probably still vomiting.) But my favorite thing about Jeff, Amanda's Older Boyfriend is that he is always places he shouldn't be. He's there for mother-daughter bikini sprees and

At first glance, I thought Princesses: Long Island was just your typical Bravo one-off: a bunch of girls making up nicknames for themselves, drunken grunting, a title with puzzling syntax. But it turns out that Princesses: Long Island is so much more, because Princesses: Long Island has Jeff, Amanda's Older Boyfriend.

I think Jeff, Amanda's Older Boyfriend should be on all shows from now on, reality and otherwise, because he brings a lot to the table. He points out obvious things and labels them as obvious—"she's crying, obviously," he announced last night, as everyone watched a person cry—while drinking from a small silver chalice I get the distinct feeling he brought for himself. He patronizes waiters—"Listen to me, we definitely would like to take a Bento Box if you have that. What's your name? Juan? Juan, nice to meet you." Oh, I'm sure the pleasure is all Juan's. Especially if he happened to catch the dis-gusting make-out sesh that immediately followed. (Somewhere, a former Bravo cameraperson is googling new career options, and probably still vomiting.)

But my favorite thing about Jeff, Amanda's Older Boyfriend is that he is always places he shouldn't be. He's there for mother-daughter bikini sprees and girls' weekends in the Hamptons. (To be fair, I think he's actually sewn to Amanda—his right pec to her left shoulder blade, which always puts him in the perfect position to look totally scandalized behind her as someone who used to be prom queen or something drinks too much—or something.) He likes to recharge during pregaming time—did anyone else catch that he was napping after the pool?—so that later, he can be sharp enough to never miss a single catty comment that passes between the girls. "Who are you yelling at?" he whined, waddling after one of the girls in his trendy jeans. "Why did you tell her to shut up?"

Nobody answers him. I'm pretty sure at least two of the girls still think he's somebody's dad. But Jeff, Amanda's Older Boyfriend: You are the sketchy heart and frayed-denim soul of this show, and I would encourage you to keep doing you, buddy. Not so much the low-impact John Travolta impression. Just you.

Has anyone else noticed Jeff—and who else do you think are some of the craziest supporting players in reality TV?