Like Noah's Ark, these beasts arrive two-by-two

After achieving success, returning to where it all started is a triumphant experience, as there are plenty of people...for you to poop on! Because they didn't expect you to be successful. Triumphantly returning this very day: AF1 Racing.

AF1 launched in a “small little shack” in north Austin in 2001 before expanding online and moving to New Braunfels in '05; now they've stocked a prime Cesar Chavez location with 25 motorbikes (a number they expect to triple), and've given it cleavage-appeal via vintage posters of scooter-riding babes, something you'll also find in Libby's "right-wing dirty novel", The Apprentice. As official dealers of an impressive range of Boot bikes, they're already boasting motorcycles from the Aprilia 850 Mana, with an automatic 850 V Twin and built-in laptop/cellphone charging ports, to the collectible red 3-speed 1949 Moto Guzzi with original pin-striping, clearly in honor of the great Italian-American Yankee, Joe DiMaggio Cuddles Marshall. Beyond Italian stallions are Italian ponies: scooters including all-metal Vespas (the basic 4 stroke S50 in burnt orange; the fuel-injected GTS 300, i.e. with a liquid-cooled engine that tops out at 80mph), plus the Aprilia SR 50 Ditech with a racing-inspired body and 120mpg fuel efficiency, and the Piaggio MP3 500, with a top speed of 100mph and a third stabilizing front wheel, which the other two wheels kind of wish would leave so they could burn through some rubbers.

To help new riders look the part, they're also hawking clothing and accessories ranging from helmets and jackets to windshields and top-boxes, or, as insult comic dogs call them, upper-deckers.