What was New York City up to from 2000-2010? Just the exact same old shit as ever, if you believe the U.S. Census. The calculator-wielding census nerds have tabulated all the latest numbers, and guess what? NYC barely grew a bit in the past ten years. A measly 167,000 new people. What a waste of time.

What have New Yorkers all been doing this past decade? Just sitting around conforming to all of the major population trends, no big surprise. Black people are fleeing the city (NYC's black population falls to 23%)! Mexicans are taking over our country (NYC's Hispanic population rises to 29%)! Asians are, like, everywhere now (up to 13% of NYC)! And white people are totally making a "hip" new urban comeback ("Non-Hispanic whites registered a 3 percent decline, the smallest in decades")! We're all a bunch of trend-following sheep, sitting here in our fancy New York City bubble thinking we're special, while America's official center of power shifts to Plato, Missouri. God, we disgust me.