Fine, shootouts are bad at determining the outcomes of games, but let's shelf that argument for another time and instead watch Patrick Kane punk Marc-Andre Fleury with the same effort required to put together a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Actually, you probably exert more effort making a peanut butter and jelly… »2/15/15 5:28pm 2/15/15 5:28pm

T.J. Oshie's four shootout goals proved the difference as the United States beat Russia 3-2 (4-3). It took eight rounds of penalty shots before the right combination of Jonathan Quick save and Oshie goal could be properly paired up. »2/15/14 10:27am 2/15/14 10:27am

Just before taking the ice for last night's game against the Kings, Patrick Kane learned that his grandfather had died. Kane played in the game, finishing with two goals and one assist. After scoring his first goal, seen above, Kane kissed his fingers and pointed skyward. »2/04/14 1:11pm 2/04/14 1:11pm

A tipster, just now: "I was about 1-2 ft away from Patty Kane last night here in his stomping grounds of Buffalo. He was of course in classic Kaner, shit-face form eating the face off a blonde." This is just a reminder to be vigilant, and follow the shitshow. You know where to find us. »7/03/13 3:57pm 7/03/13 3:57pm

The Chicago Blackhawks, the first two-time champions in the NHL's salary-cap era, could tell you better than anyone: It takes an entire team to win a Stanley Cup, but nothing is possible without the right core. »6/25/13 9:21am 6/25/13 9:21am

Rest easy, Blackhawks fans. The Stanley Cup playoffs begin tonight, and Patrick Kane looks like for all the world like he's back to behaving like Patrick Kane, which is to say he and his middle finger were spotted at a bar in Lincoln Park the other night. »4/30/13 10:40am 4/30/13 10:40am

A few days out from the playoffs (and a possible first-round matchup with Detroit), Patrick Kane is doing some shilling for Uber, a startup that allows you to order a car service via smartphone app. But perhaps more importantly for the Blackhawks forward, it doesn't require him or the driver to carry change.»4/25/13 9:35am 4/25/13 9:35am

We already knew that Patrick Kane was playing hockey in Switzerland during the NHL lockout, thanks to his appearance in this Swiss hellscape. But what we didn't know is that Kane, the notorious party boy, is currently living in Switzerland with his mom. His real-life mom! »12/12/12 10:30am 12/12/12 10:30am

In the wake of the lockout, NHL stars Tyler Seguin and Patrick Kane signed on with Switzerland's EHC Biel. They arrived too late for player photo day, however, which was apparently "no shirts, battle axe optional." »11/27/12 5:10pm 11/27/12 5:10pm

The NHL has foolishly locked out Chicago Blackhawks right wing and frequent Deadspin subject Patrick Kane, in addition to 719 other players. Once the lockout became official in September, many of those players signed in Russia and elsewhere in Europe. Others decided they'd cool their heels and wait it out. A break… »10/23/12 3:25pm 10/23/12 3:25pm