Hello my children,
My name is God, and I created every single one of you. All of you are intelligently designed, sinful, images of myself who spend every second of their day worshipping sins of the flesh. Sin and the Devil are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any spiritual comfort? I mean, I guess it’s fun sinning because of your own human nature, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than drawing mustaches on pictures in the Bible.
Don’t be an atheist. Just pray to me with your best repentance. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the universe, and starter on my religion. What sports do you play, other than “go bomb naked sand people”? I also get straight praise, and have a resurrected son (He just died for your sins; **** was SO cash). You are all lost souls who should just give your life to me in worship. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my son.