You might have noticed there were no FOTM Quotes last month. If you did, it's probably because you're one of those people who stops in to visit this place exactly once a month, specifically to read the FOTM Quotes.

I just didn't have many last month, and by the time I finally got around to tracking them down, it was late in the month, and I decided to just hold onto them until this month. So the bad news is, you're getting old, stale quotes mixed in with your lemon-fresh ones. The good news is, here are some Quotes:

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"That turkey looks like a pelican."

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"Your opening scene should be in a children's prison."

"Do they even have those?"

"Well you gotta put 'em somewhere when they're bad."

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"Will someone pay me for masturbating and smoking dope?"

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"I don't mean to say you're apathetic. It's just that unless you live each and every day of your life as a lie, it's kind of hard to relate."

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"Why do dogs always put their butts on you?"

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"You break me a little on the inside when you say things like that."

"I only break you with love."

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"I thought I took my empty whiskey glass into the kitchen. Turns out, it was a jar of peanut butter."

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"If I cloned myself, it would only be for threesomes. I wouldn't want any of the extra organs or any of that."

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"I've thought about this a lot and- Hey did you clean her butt?"

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"Maybe you could find a job where you...hammer...metal? That's more your level of intelligence."

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"True love is not a real thing. You know what is? When she licks the inside of your dick."

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"Everything in the world is so confusing to my eyes right now."

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"Yeah, they got a bit of bad press for Camp David."

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"I got pooped on last night. It destroyed my brain."

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"The farty dog is funny."

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"I defeated my own self, it was all right in front of me. It was all in front of us all, yeah, but you couldn't handle it. Only I could take me down."

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"What are you going to do to Rainbow Bright?!"

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"I love you so much that I will pee with the door open and yell out that I love you."