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Small Island Nation Moves To The Left

The people of the small island nation of Aotearoa faced a daunting task this morning, as a new law forced them to move their political affiliations to the left.

The law came into effect at 6.00am local time.

As expected, there was chaos as people jostled towards the left, and with internet traffic on various left-leaning blogsites backing up.

The law change came into effect with the Prime Minister of the small idyllic nation, John Key, issuing final instructions over the radio.

“After this announcement you will all be permitted to move to the left to begin this new era in our history,” Mr Key told his people.

The law change has caused uproar in this normally sleepy island nation. Proponents of the law change argue that it will bring Aotearoa into line with other utopias, such as North Korea. But critics claim it will lead to a flood of tired and clapped-out old socialists into the island nation.

Sellers of kaftans and incense are expected to prosper under the new regime, while others have complained that the change has destroyed their livelihood.

One man, who wanted to be identified only as “David”, said the law change was likely to destroy his lucrative online forum. “I have to start singing the praises of the Left now”, said David. “There’s only so much lauding of Sue Bradford my readers will tolerate.”

David said that his community of followers would be left adrift and leaderless. “Nobody cares about the real victims here. Good honest, slightly rabid, angry white guys with issues. Who’s going to take care of them now?”

But of David’s followers have already seen the light. One, who wanted to be called “Red”, said he had opposed the law at every stage. But having tried the shift to the left, he was now in favour of it.

“This loony socialist leftist communist brainwashing is all-right by me, man,” said Red as he lit a large cannabis joint and proceeded to sing Keep the Red Flag Flying.