Yes, folks -- the circus has come to town! But instead of lion tamers, bearded ladies and fire-eaters, we've got a sheep-herding Perfect Stranger from Mypos, a notorious reality diva, a pair of exotic beauty queens, a spicy hip-hop songstress, a fearless Motorcross freestyler, and a "juiced-up" baseball legend...

The ultimate TV sideshow is about to begin -- on SURREAL LIFE 5!

Season Five of The Surreal Life takes a wildly mismatched group of celebrities and sticks them in a twisted sociological lab experiment in communal living. That's right, these pampered celebs must now share bathrooms, bedrooms, chores, and their private lives, all in front of the ever-present cameras.

This season's surreal adventures include an outrageous burlesque show that puts Moulin Rouge to shame, a bowling competition with some very "special" league players, a gnarly Motorcross race, a swingin' trip to Las Vegas, a freaky softball game with celebrity look-alikes, and a memorable encounter with demented SL security guard Andy Dick!

There's also a little cross-dressing, some heart wrenching revelations, plenty of cat fights including the ultimate diva showdown, and a shocking "last supper" that has to be seen to be believed!

Surreal Life is not your average reality show. Their incredible life stories, career baggage, and strong points of view make for intense moments that take the viewer from laughing to crying, disappointment to hope, and anger to joy, all in the same episode.

Andy Dick, Surreal Life Security, greets the cast and conducts a security check on each person before allowing them entrance into the house. Andy breaks from the pressure and quits before the last cast member is revealed. Six cast members have arrived and wonder who number seven will be. The Surreal Times reveals that Jose Canseco will be the 7th cast member and has a long wrap sheet including domestic violence and aggravated assault charges. Upon arrival into the house, Jose is greeted by side glances and a slew of questions from Omarosa. After the interrogation Pepa cooks a Jamaican dinner so the cast can eat together and bond, but Janice doesn't let anyone else talk. The cast begins to get annoyed with her behavior, except for Bronson who gets a little turned on. After dinner the cast gathers in the kitchen where Bronson showers Janice with affection, but Janice doesn't appreciate being groped and threatens to quit if Bronson touches her again. She storms off, but Pepa convinces her to rejoin the rest of the cast because she is the "star."

I ned to finish watching the show, only saw 10 - 15 minutes then recorded the rest. This cast is going to be fighting and there is definetly be some drama. AFter I watch the rest I will give my own recap.

Okay, I finished watching the show and have determined I will set the DVR for this show each week. There is going to be lots of drama and fights on this show!

Okay they all come in one by one and pick their beds. One room has a bed to it's self, Bronson was first to arrive so he picked this room ~ smart boy. Next was Omarosa she picks the room with 2 beds and Janice is next and Omarosa tells her she is sleeping with her. Janice is already b!tching about Omarosa telling her what to do. The last bedroom has a bunk bed and 2 full size beds ~ so this leaves Pepa, Caprice, Carey hart and Hose Canseco in the same room. Jose chooses to sleep on the couch as she snores and the bed it little.

Fist off the house is decorated like a circus ~ stripes, games, LOUD colors, crazy plastic lights and a 3 legged dog. You read that right a 3 legged dog, he was hurt in a carnival accident. I would hate to stay in this house that long I think I would get a headache.

Omarosa arrives in capree pants and HIGH heels and attitude, says she does not like sharing or sleeping around other people. UUMM Hello have you seen this show? Did you think they were going to build you your own house?. Bronson was like where did she think she was going? And shortly you see her with her house slippers on, guess the high heels were for looks. She is saying how she did not know who any of the people were, except for Pepa. Janice comes in and well she is Janice obnoxious and loud. Then we have Caprice who was born in the USA and raised in CA and then became a British model. UUHHH OOOHH you think Janice will critic her, well of course the first chance she got. Pepa shows up and is like I have to sleep with 4 other people? She is by far the most normal person there. Carey Hart ~ motorcycle guy from X games shows up and the ladies are like oh hello here is where you are staying. Pepa asks about his tattoos and how many and he says 1 it is all one scene ~ you have to see the boy to appreciate the comment.

They do not know who the other house guest is, then they get the Surreal life newspaper...it tells them it is Jose and inside the paper is his rap sheet. Every thing that he has done bad, every arrest, fight you name it. The ladies are FREAKING out. Jose finally shows up and they are glaring at him, stand offish and look scared. They show him the house and he talks and they are not real friendly. Then Omarosa "Ms I am the greatest" starts interrogating Jose ~ Have you taking Steroids, did you hit your wife all kinds of SH!T. He answered all the questions and kept his cool. He said he does not have a temper and Omarosa said I DO.

They had Dinner and Janice is wasted ~ I know this surprised you that a Surreal life person is drunk. She asked Pepa how she was discovered and then interrupted or started talking about other things like 4 times and then told her to get to the point. Well after dinner Bronson came up behind Janice and put his arm around her waste and she freaked out saying he groped her and wanted to quit. She is going to be something else on this show. Pepa convinces her to stay.

The end of the show has the 3 legged dog, Lucky peeing in the house. They only took him out for like 5 minutes and then came in. Put the leash on him to go in the back yard. I am sure the Surreal life could afford a fence let him out and he will do his business and come back.

Next week they will be bowling against a special league team. Shows a comment from Omarosa saying I just do not like people making fun of special needs people.

Omarosa and Bronson start an all day tiff based on Bronson's belief that she is one of the fakest people he has ever met. Jose recruits the cast to assist him with his book signing. He impresses his roommates with the way he handles some inappropriate fans and Janice deems him worthy of her attention. And later, the cast learns they will bowl for charity but are unprepared for the talents of the Sunshine Strikers. The cast discovers it will be playing against a professional bowling team of Special Ed. young adults -- and just to make things more interesting, the winning team will be rewarded with a pizza party, while the losers will be stuck cleaning bowling shoes! Janice crosses the line over and over again, revealing her wild child side to the rest of the cast and the Sunshine Strikers prove to be formidable opponents.

First off Jose has a book signing at the house and Omarosa wants to charge double to make money and Jose says no. Then she said let's at least add $5 to make some profit it is all about the profit. Okay for anyone that was not an Apprentice fan ~ One of the challenges Omarosa was in charge of the money and they came up short $150. So her being in charge of the money was a laugh. Then she decides to take charge she is going to be keeping the traffic flowing and then she starts ordering the other house guests around. Even asked Bronson if he knew how to count.

Book signing people make all kinds of comments to Jose...nothing phases him. Smiles, calm cool and collective, even eating at one point. I guy asked him to sign...To Bob sorry I ruined baseball...Jose said no so the guys says then right Mark McGuire is innocent. Jose said you know he is guilty. Jose said he has gotten death threats because of his book. **my opinion, there are some professional athletes that have not taken steroids, but I believe there are allot more then the average person thinks. Now that there are more drug screening I think there are less. And if Mark did not take them that is a fight he has with Jose not for the fans to try and start a fight with Jose**

Then they have to go bowling against a professional bowling team, but one will have to be on the other team. Janice immediately says I will do it. I can not bowl and I will mess up the other team. They get to the bowling alley and Janice says I am not bowling with the other team he is, pointing to Bronson. Of course this becomes and argument and Omorosa steps up to be the on the other team. They are playing people with special needs. Omorosa is great with the team, if you did not know her from before she would have been your favorite. She says in a confessional that she has special needs people in her family. This team have been bowling for a while are are really good. They are mouthing off to the Surreal life team. OF course Janice starts yelling in their face and then kept calling them a retard. The rest of the surreal lifers were shocked as she said this many times. Finally Bronson said do not say that their parents can hear you. Surreal lifers lost by 2 points, thanks to Omorosa and had to clean the shoes at the bowling alley.

The show ends with Janice trying to flirt with Jose saying she wants him( in the confessional) and the way she talks every man wants her...I do not see this but that is my opinion. Then she flashes part of her booty to him.

OMG!!! I almost forgot the best part...Janice's hair and make up guys had to come to do her hair and make up for her. She says she does not work without them and is not going to walk around with out her hair and make up. This means she took over the bathroom that her and Omorossa have and made Omorosa go the other bathroom that 4 of the other house mates share. Janice said she does not care what anyone else thinks she needs her people.

Previews for next week they have to strip for a show. Let's see who will freak out the most.......JANICE

The Surreal Lifers learn that today they're putting on a burlesque show at a Hollywood Night-club! Jose jumps right in and even takes time to alter his costume to meet his specifications for his big show-stopping number. While, Miss Been-Around-The-Block-And-Seen-Everything Janice Dickenson takes a prudish attitude toward the whole scene; "I can't do this. I'm a PTA mom!" She threatens to leave the show again, leaving the rest of her team scrambling to either alter their routine or lose the competition. Finally, a heroic Pepa takes Janice aside and convinces her just in time to stick with it.

It's showtime! Bronson steps out onstage and improvs some appropriately off-color jokes, then intros the first act: "America The Booty-ful." The crowd cheers and applauds -- perhaps out of shock and terror -- at the sight of a hulking Jose Conseco dressed as an ersatz George Washington.

Okay this cast is definitely not bonding like other casts. Janice is such a drama queen, and the scary things is some of the things that come out of her mouth and then she says I am a mom I can not do that. WHAT??!?!

They got a note that they had to do a burles show. And even had a lady come and show them the moves. While they practiced, when Pepa pulled off Omarosa's top her under garment was not on well and her boobies shoed. She said she was embarrassed. Funny seeing Jose get dressed up in these little underwear....ladies if you are a Jose fan, you must tune in. He looks pretty good in the little undies.

We see in the beginning of the show at 6:30 am Janice's make up and hair people come in to start getting her ready. And yet again take over the bathroom. Omorosa just pushes past and starts to spray out mouse and they all freak out and Janice almost fell out of her chair. WHAT is that!?!? Omarosa looked at her and said it is mouse. After she walks out Janice told the guys I did not know what that was I thought it was a long, nasty poopy fart coming out. Give me a break MS I AM A SUPERMODEL has never heard mouse coming out of a can???

They all joke and rehearse and have to be at the show in like 1 hour. They get there and had time to rehearse, 15 minutes...Omorosa complaining about Pepa taking the whole time. Janice goes out and then start going on about how she is a Supermodel and she does not need to rehearse and that she NEVER rehearses twice ....blah blah blah I am a super model blah blah blah I am a super model....Hey did any of you know that Janice is a super model? Well if you did not she told you like 15 times and then you guessed it she quit. Also I have news for Janice...she WAS a supermodel....maybe it is just me but I do not want to see her in a bathing suit or on the front of a magazine anymore. She was leaving she could not do this as she was a mom...PEPA to the rescue boy this lady is good. So Janice comes back 1 minute before show and barely does anything. And then was not happy that they did not win. Pepa, Carey, Omarosa on one team Janice, Jose, caprice on the other and Bronson was MC.

That night they got home and the phone was ringing...It was for Omorosa she had a death in the family. So she started to call her mom and talk. Janice came in and said I need to call my kids how long are you going to be? Not nicely I might add. Omarosa snapped back 2 F$%^$ hours, I am on the phone. Janice called her a B!#$#$ and something else and walked off. Omarosa went and said something to the rest of the group. Janice came in and apologizes ~ I think to look good in front of Jose.

Then Omarosa and Bronson confront her about the hair and make up guys....they show she has her own make up room set up just for her since she had to have her guys there. She said someone will have to vacuum it as she tried to use it and the micro fiber cut her eyes!!! OMG give me a break. She said the make up room is not an option. Bronson and Omorosa walk off and Janice tries to say something but they left.

Show ends with them looking at Josť's' toe nails...My DVR cut off there so not sure the finally or what next week is about. These people are too funny!!

I'm watching the show and enjoying myself doing it. I totally agree with you regarding Janice Dickinson. She looks like somebody who partied just a little bit too hard in her prime. Her brain seems a little fried. I did a character breakdown of the show on the news page. Here is a link to it.

The cast heads off to a Battered Women's Shelter to build a new backyard. Janice makes it clear that the only heavy lifting Supermodels do is with their lip-gloss applicator. Chaos overcomes the Cast as bossy Foreman Omarosa doesn't seem to have a clue. Then, Jose decides it would be easier to just write a check and hire someone else to complete the project.

When Carey offers to take over foreman duties for Omarosa to keep things rolling, Omarosa gets defensive and says he's getting bossy. Carey says he just wants to get the job done. Omarosa finally relents and reluctantly allows Carey to lead. Janice, meanwhile, re-applies her make-up. will they ever finish by 5:00 p.m.?

The Surreal Lifers awake to what they hope will be a laid back day. Jose appreciates the finer points of a bikini-clad Caprice and even offers advice on how she can improve her model-perfect body. The paper reveals that the cast will be traveling to Gorman where they'll learn to ride dirt bikes, Carey Hart style! Janice, big surprise, gets huffy; "I can't ride a motorcycle! I'm a PTA mom! I'm quitting this show!" Jose admits he has a life long fear of motorcycles as they suit up, rev up and compete for the title of "Biker of the Day."

Later, an impromptu sexy, cross-dressing slumber party reveals Jose's feminine side. The party begins with the first special guest arriving, Pepa's friend and former "Salt N Pepa" DJ, SPINDERELLA. Then comes a head-turning announcement from Caprice: "It's underwear time!" Determined to out-burlesque Thursday's burlesque show, the British beauty rounds up Jose and Carey and takes them into her bedroom. and dresses them up in her best lingerie. "Jesus, how did I get myself into this?" bemoans studly dirt bike hero Carey. "We've gone from bad-ass dudes to drag queens" says Jose.

Today the cast learns they're taking an overnight trip to the City Of Sin! Omarosa talks from the moment the rock star bus pulls away from the Surreal Life Mansion till the celebs arrive at The Strip, but they are disappointed when they're driven right past the casinos. Then they learn they'll be playing a high-stakes game of softball! The winners will be treated to a special "V.I.P. package" that includes a stay at The Palms, in-room massages, and $5000 for gambling. But our heroes aren't playing against just any team - they're squaring off against celebrity look-alikes! It's Jose Canseco vs. Jose Canseco? And later, Janice makes a move on Jose. Wait, which Jose?

For their second eventful day in swinging Las Vegas, the celebs participate in a SURVIVOR-style pool game called the "Vegas Castaway Challenge," hosted by TIM STACK playing a poor man's Jeff Probst! But this competition is serious business, because before the day is done, one of the Surreal cast members will be voted out of Las Vegas! Whoever wins the game will have immunity from being "casted out". So everyone's gotta swim, rub, drink and kiss their hearts out! And not to be outdone by Janice, Omarosa makes a play for Jose. Later, while the loser drives alone back from Vegas, the rest of the cast relaxes on their rock star bus and Bronson tries to push the sexual boundaries with one of his cast mates.

The Surreal Lifers learn that today is Press Day - reporters and photographers from various media will be visiting the mansion for interviews and photo shoots. Janice and Omarosa butt heads immediately and often in-front of the press. Janice's son and Omarosa's mother visit the house, defusing the tension for a short period. Then it's time for their Dysfunctional-Family portait, Janice is asked to pose with a knife near Omarosa, who freaks out! Caprice and Pepa admit that it was a bad scene, but no one gets as melodramatic about it as Omarosa; she starts calling her agents and attorneys, crying lawsuit and threatening to leave the show. Bronson, Caprice and Pepa agree that Janice is wild and unpredictable, but beseech Omarosa to stay. "We're family! You can't leave!" It's The Apprentice vs. The Supermodel in the ultimate battle of the Reality Divas! Who will survive?