M. X. Kelly

Ok, yes. I know what you might think as you start watching this. Mr. Jiang is a person in the business world. Talking about his attempts at becoming a successful entrepenuer. But his talk should also resonate with many writers who experience the "no gift, no compliment" version of rejection (in a form email that indicated the editor maybe read a couple words of your piece and that was enough for them). We know whatof he speaks. We feel those feels. Regularly.

Jiang's talk is funny and inspiring. I hope it gives anyone watching here the courage to keep building up that thick skin, keep pushing past the "no's," and keep chuggling full steam ahead with their dreams. The sin is not rejection. The sin is never trying, and/or never trying again.

A shorter clip of this was posted on Facebook earlier in the year, and it resonated with me. So I decided to watch the longer version of the YouTube clip of a commencement speech given by J.K. Rowling on the subject of the unexpected benefits of failure.

The beginning of the New Year is typically the time we begin to re-evaluate the past year and make up our minds to better ourselves in the future. But we often have difficulty admitting defeat, even to ourselves, because in our modern society failure carries a negative connotation rather than a positive one. But perhpas it should be different. It's normal to feel some negativity and self-loathing after failing, but that should not last long. It should be soon followed by positive re-focusing of one's energies to strive to be better next time. Joanne nails these points in her own brilliant way.

It's a little longer than the clip posted on Facebook, but well worth watching. The author of the famous Harry Potter series talks about the most valuable lesson she ever learned in one of the best commencement speeches I've ever heard.

I've been meaning to post this talk of Joanne's for awhile now, but today it hits home more, so I'm finishing this post and sharing it with the world. Because sometimes you need silver linings when the rainbow fades to pale.

​May we shoulder onward through our defeats and come out victorious in the end!

Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of "Eat, Pray, Love" gave an interesting TED Talk on creativity and failure that we watched in our Senior Portfolio class this past semester.

I just went through an ordeal of having a big rejection lately. I had submitted 3 poems to the Sigma Tau Delta journal, "The Rectangle." I was hoping that at least one of the poems would be good enough to earn a spot in the journal, so I could use that publication as leverage to get into the grad school program I have my heart set on. I got the blessing of one of my professors, Dr. Hallock, who was acting as our advisor for Sigma Tau Delta and praised the poems.

I waited with anxiety mounting every day for the news. Then, it finally came a few weeks ago. I did not get in. The form rejection email stated that they had over 500 submissions. While it was a little reassuring to know that there was so much competition, that thought alone did nothing to assuage the feelings of unworthiness that every writer feels when they get a rejection.

As usual, I moped around about it for a few days. Then, I said to myself: "Maria, stiffen that upper lip, buttercup. You got a rejection? Big deal. You've gotten them before. Stop throwing yourself a goddamn pity party, get writing some new stuff, and submit those poems again somewhere else!" I resubmitted the best one to another poetry journal, which also earned me a rejection, albeit a nicer one. They actually told me my poem was well received by the editors of the journal, but it did not fit with what they wanted to do in their current issue. Hey, as a publisher/editor myself, I can identify with that. Plus, a personal and encouraging "No" is better than a computer-processed form "No" any day of the week. So, I'm going to toughen up once again and resubmit it somewhere else. And on and on it goes.

Keep trying. That's all we can do. I've been writing since I could walk. I'm sure as hell not going to stop now.

I am a writer, and I must write...or die in misery, with all my angst piled over my bones like brittle dead leaves.