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Thursday, January 12, 2012

Queen, Please

I haven't watched very much of Toddlers & Tiaras since my last blog about the episode where Eden and MaKenzie battled it out (read it here). But when I heard my girl MaKenzie was coming back, I set my DVR and got ready for some pageantry. Not much has changed - still glitz, still big hair, still a little creepy.

MaKenzie is 6 years old now, and she's still sassy and funny. She's got a cat now, who apparently hasn't been declawed (ouch!). MaKenzie didn't win anything last time she competed, but that hasn't slowed down her career. She gets recognized everywhere and Funny or Die did a hilarious spoof on her (watch it here). MaKenzie's mom, Juana, just hopes she wins something this time around.

We meet Brooke and Kaylie, two sisters who are extremely competitive. Like, it hurts to watch, that's how competitive they are. Kaylie is the younger sister, and she's super vicious with her older sister. She brings Brooke to tears at one point. Ugh, I can't with this. The parents seem to be alright, there's no blatant favoritism going on. But these girls are not playing around.

Our next contestant is Hailey, a super sweet stunner, whose godfather is none other than ... Shangela from RuPaul's Drag Race and RuPaul's Drag U! Werk! Hailey and Shangela (DJ when he's not in drag) are so cute together. He coaches her along with Hailey's mom, who seems super nice as well. I really like Hailey. She's confident without being arrogant. And she seems to be having fun with the whole pageant thing, which is always nice to see. I loved the walk-off between Hailey and Shangela, so cute!

It's competition time, and the pageant is called "Lollipops and Gumdrops", and can I just say the pageant director scares me. Seriously. Anyway, the pageant begins, and beauty is first. MaKenzie has a tough time in beauty because her dress is a little discombobulated, but her face and dress are flawless. Then, she stumbles a couple of times - one judge determines that her shoes are too big for her, and she says she has to take away points for the stumbling. Hailey does great in beauty, although she's afraid she messed up - she almost trips, too. But it's really not noticeable. They had to slow down the tape to show the misstep. But it's so minor, the judges don't even catch it. Brooke performs extremely well, and the judges love everything about her.

It turns out, MaKenzie has groupies, and they've shown up in full force to support her. They have t-shirts, signs, and a Fatal Attraction level of determination for staying close to their idol. I should mention these groupies are children. But let's be real, they didn't drive themselves to the Ramada where this thing is being held. MaKenzie is super nice and gracious with them, taking pictures, hugging, and laughing. One of them slips and says "We're going to be best friends!" Hold up, honey, that's not how this works.

Next, we have Candy Wear, which is like the talent portion of the pageant, but with a candy theme (hence the name of the pageant, Lollipops and Gumdrops). MaKenzie choreographed her own routine, dressed in a Minnie Mouse costume - complete with Minnie ears - and she does great! Kaylie does a fun routine with a killer sequin dress, and Brooke does a routine inspired by candy fireballs. Hailey does an amazing job with her candy routine - where she's pushing a candy cart with her picture on it "like a homeless lady in New York", just like Shangela taught her.

The judges make their decisions and all of our girls have "pulled" for big titles, meaning they didn't win in their age group, so they have a chance to win the bigger crowns. The Ultimate Grand Supreme prize is a play house. Kaylie wins for her theme routine, Brooke also wins one of the bigger crowns. Hailey gets a big crown for her performance, and MaKenzie wins for beauty. This was a relief, especially for Juana, MaKenzie's mom. Some other girl we don't know won the play house.

I have to say, the funniest part was when MaKenzie begs her mom to get the groupies away from her because she wants to play with the other pageant girls in the play house. Juana says to go and play because the groupies (not in the pageant) aren't allowed in that area. MaKenzie whines, "But they go in the windows!" And then we see one of them actually do it. STALKER!! But seriously, that has to be annoying. MaKenzie was nice to them at first, but now she just wants them to go away. She's a celebrity, alright.