Happy Unbirthday

I mean. I'm thankful that the end of the week is here, don't get me wrong.

But.

Today is my birthday.

I have officially turned a year older.

And. I'm coping.... A little regretfully, but here I am.

:)

No, actually, it's been a fantastic birthday so far! All hour and a half of it. Zach, who was out until two in the morning last night with snow, still got up with the kids this morning and let me sleep in! And then, whilst I was oblivious to ALL of this, him and the children made me breakfast.

And brought it to me in bed!

And for the first time in my life, I turned on the Today Show, and ate Steak and Eggs in relative peace!

It's not the first time I've either watched the Today Show or eaten Steak and Eggs. But it is the first time I've ever stayed in bed while doing it.

Zach has made me breakfast in bed before, for like Mothers Day or other occasions, but I've never been able to sit still and just relax there. I've always crawled out, and joined the family in the dining room, feeling left out! :)

But not this morning. I enjoyed my breakfast, under the warmth of my comforters and watched some expose about a murdering husband. It was weird.

The story that is.

I was hoping for fashion tips and recipes. Instead I got weird videos of a 60 year old man pretending to strip tease in front of his daughter during a prison visit.

Like I said. It was weird.

But it was still a fantastic morning. And one by one the kidlets crawled into bed with me, snuggled and were the sweetest little rugrats just ever!

And today I have big big plans. Super big plans.

There are of course the dishes to do. And the laundry that is finished and folded but still needs to be put away. And then on to the main event! I've finally reached the City of Glass, in the Mortal Instruments Series. So I'm pretty sure I will be convincing Zach to get a fire going so I can curl up on the couch and get to the bottom of Jace and Clary's whole relationship thing.

I feel very wrong rooting for a brother and sister to be in love. Very. Very. Wrong.

Actually there is more to my day than all that! I am meeting two of my closest friends for lunch! At my favorite Mexican restaurant. And really, I couldn't be more excited!!! Plus, Zach is staying home with the kiddos and I get to go ALL by myself!!!!

So. Between my wonderful husband and dear friends. I can get through this day, right? Right. I hope so. I think so...

Of course I can!

But. I've decided to make it easier on myself.

I need goals. A five year plan. Something to make this transition of getting older and growing up easier!

In college I made a set of five goals that I wanted to accomplish in my life time. They were lofty. And extreme. And I thought they would take me a lifetime to accomplish.

I'm not kidding. I really thought, I would be lucky to see any of them come true.

They were. Ahem.

1. Travel Europe.

2. Get Married.

3. Have Children.

4. Write a book.

And.

5. Have a career that I adore.

Well, although the career thing is just NOW happening. The rest of it, by complete flukes and only the will of God, I accomplished before I was 23....

That was a shock. No, not just a shock, a complete, and utter surprise. In fact, I was so surprised, I spent most of the next several years without any kind of life plan because I had no idea what else to do with my life!

I spent a semester in Europe during college. The best six months of my college career. Hands down. I somehow convinced Zach to marry me at 21... Although, what we were thinking, I have no idea! I look at our siblings who are either just now 21 or older and I'm like, there is no way you should get married!! :) And our good old we're-going-to-wait-at-least-five-years-to-have-kids-thing completely failed us, when instead of waiting five years, we waited a whole 9 months of marriage to get pregnant.

Literally, I graduated college. And found out a week later I was pregnant.

Yep.

And then I wrote my first book right after Stella was born! (Although, that one didn't quite pan out for me...!)

It kind of felt like.... Ok, what's next.

Well, for all of ten minutes, and then we were moving on to having more kids and I still wasn't published. But... You get the idea!

So. Now what?

Yes, the career part, took me a bit longer. But thank God for that. Because it was so worth working hard for. And I think the best things in life are!

But that was a lifetime list! And when I wrote it, I imagined marriage at 30 and kids shortly after. A career as soon as I left college, preferably somewhere overseas working in a third world country, in the heat, and with the poor. A book later, after I retired, maybe about my experiences. Maybe not. I didn't really think that part through because I had a good forty to fifty years ahead of me to think about it!

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm complaining... I'm not, I promise! I know that I have been blessed. And I am so thankful for everything in my life.

But, like I said, all this came as a HUGE surprise.

In Proverbs, Solomon says, "Man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his paths."

How true is that??? I had plans. I had goals. And yet here I am, in a place only God Himself could have brought me to.

So learning this valuable lesson, I think I'll fall right back onto my flawed human ways and set the next five goals I want to accomplish.

Yep. I'm going to plan, and plot and map out my future and then I'll sit back and let God take over. Because, after all, His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways.

Lots of Scripture today, huh???

A Top Five List of Things I Would Like to Accomplish in the Next Five Years:

1. I want to take a vacation with Zach. Just Zach. Somewhere warm. Hot even. With a beach and an ocean and unlimited margaritas whilst I am not pregnant. Or nursing. And far outside this country.

2. Buy a house. And not just buy a house. Be Ok with buying a house. Ok, even if we don't own our house in the next five years, I want to be Ok with buying a house. No panic attacks. No hives. No hyperventilating. I want to be able to call up a real estate agent and look at houses without the fear of a ginormous mortgage physically attacking me. This might take lots of therapy. Lots and lots and lots of therapy....

3. Accomplish my upcoming writing goals, which is three different series already in development and an Avalon book or two. Oh good grief! What am I doing blogging?? I definitely need to be writing right now!!!! If you don't see me for the next five years, know that I'm just trying to accomplish goal number 3.

4.Go to Canada. Take the whole family. I've always wanted to go. Always. And its really, not that far away, I mean, as far as other countries go. Last summer, when we were in Rugby, we were soooo.... close! So close! And we didn't have our passports! I don't care if its for a fishing trip, or cheap prescription medicine. I need to get over that border! :)

5. And finally. Well, maybe not finally, I have all kinds of goals and aspirations. But these are my top five. My most important. The goals that will take the most work and most dedication. And so rounding out the list, with a goal so personal, so close to my heart that I don't even want to say the words out loud or even think them for fear they won't come true.... I want to be published.

Ok. I feel like I have purpose again. Whew.

:)

I'll be turning 33 when all of these need to have little check marks next to them. Oh my. In some ways this list is not so intimidating... Not so unattainable.

And in other ways, it feels like Mount Everest, daring me to climb it, laughing in my face and reminding me that I can plan all I want, but I cannot control tomorrow, let alone the next five years.

In fact, I better make a second list. Just to ease my breathing and stop the sweat trickling from my forehead. :)

This is a Top Five of Things I Can Control. Or at least have an easier time controlling....

1. I want to learn to be on time for things! Have the kids ready, get out the door, and into the car with time to spare. Not just once, not just twice, but every time we need to go somewhere. (This goal actually feels more difficult than getting published.... Yikes.)

2. I want to learn to spend money on hair care products. Yep. Not that I mind my LA Looks. But yesterday I got three compliments on my hair whilst out and about! I think there is a difference... Even if I don't see it! And apparently bargain bin shampoo and $2 hair gel is trumped by all the fancy hair care stuff I got for my birthday. It's a sad day for my pocket book, and my less than rational ideals. But. I'm a grown up now. Maybe it's time I have grown up hair... Or at the very least, less frizzy, more quaffed, healthy looking hair.

3. I am going to learn to garden. Yes. I am. Last summer, I killed everything in my backyard. Somehow, it all died. I rarely touched it, and let Zach do all the planting, but I am CONVINCED the sight of me is enough to whither any living thing. So. I will learn to Plant. Garden. And Harvest. I'm a country girl now, this is what we do!

4. I also think it's time for me to learn how to change a tire and check the oil. The oil of a car and me have had our... ups and downs. I could tell you a few story that usually has boys dropping their jaw in shock of my ignorance over the whole thing. So it's probably time I learn. Granted, I don't really want to... But. I have Five Years to put this off. And I plan on doing exactly that! :)

Who is Rachel?!?

Rachel Higginson is the author of The Five Stages of Falling in Love, Every Wrong Reason, The Star-Crossed Series, Love & Decay Novella Series and much more!
She was born and raised in Nebraska, and spent her college years traveling the world. She fell in love with Eastern Europe, Paris, Indian Food and the beautiful beaches of Sri Lanka, but came back home to marry her high school sweetheart. Now she spends her days writing stories and raising five amazing kids.