ILLUMINATI
(to the tune of "Eleanor Rigby") updated 11-07-88
Steve Jackson, Joe Vail, Creede Lambard
Illuminati . . .
They put a thing made of tinfoil on top of my door . . .
What is it for?
Illuminati . . .
Shooting a ray at my cornflakes to make them turn green . . .
What does it mean?
The Illuminati . . . They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati . . . They're everywhere I go.
Illuminati . . .
Doing unspeakable things in the night to a cow . . .
Where are they now?
Illuminati . . .
Sent an impostor in place of the Popsicle man . . .
What is their plan?
The Illuminati . . . They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati . . . They're everywhere I go.
Illuminati . . .
They cancelled Star Trek, The Fonz, and My Mother, the Car . . .
Are they bizarre?
You can't escape them;
Even if you take a plane to Nepal or Peru . . .
They'll be there, too . . .
The Illuminati . . . They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati . . . They're everywhere I go.
I know that they know all about me . . .
They know that I know all about them . . .
Illuminati . . .
Hide their assassins' instructions in newspaper text . . .
Who will be next?
They're all around us . . .
Underline every third word in the Times and you'll see . . .
How can it be?
The Illuminati . . . They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati . . . They're everywhere I go.
They're in the attic and the cellar . . .
Bigger than Hunt or Rockefeller . . .
Illuminati . . .
Go through my garbage and count all the pop bottles there . . .
Why do they care?
They're out to get me . . .
They're fluoridating my water from their UFO . . .
What do they know?
The Illuminati . . . They're everywhere, I see.
The Illuminati . . . And no one knows but me.

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