The greatest country in the world: Bacon milkshake now available

posted at 8:45 pm on February 3, 2012 by Allahpundit

I’d call it a palate cleanser but ain’t nothing clean about this. Let me tell you something, though. We may have more debt than any nation in the history of the world. Our president may be a failed messiah whom nobody takes seriously anymore. Our Supreme Court justices may think our Constitution is eh. And our flagship car companies may churn out flaming bags of crapola. But as our country lurches towards the grave, take comfort in this: We’re going with our bellies full of the most insanely gluttonous treats that mentally ill chefs can come up with. This is what decadence tastes like, my friends. Like … bacon syrup.

Alternate headline: “Maybe that sugar tax isn’t such a bad idea after all.”

Jack in the Box is now serving a Bacon Milkshake. Yes, it’s real, and yes, they are hoping it will cause some sort of bacon-fueled mass hysteria, so it’s “as limited as limited can be.” Denny’s produced a Maple Bacon Sundae for their Baconalia promotion, so it’s not unheard of for a chain to add bacon to dessert, although word on the street is the Jack in the Box shake uses bacon-flavored syrup and not actual porky goodness.

There are no Jack in the Boxes (Jacks in the Box?) in New York so I’m forced to rely on the HA faithful who live near one of these things to go out this weekend, take one for the team, and report back. Someone on Twitter tells me she sampled it and that it was “the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted,” replete with an aftertaste that lingered for an hour. This guy, however, pronounced it “delicious” and said the crew was noticeably excited to make it. I’ll bet. Follow the last link for sweet, savory photos of America’s decline in a cup.

The exit question I never thought I’d ask: Have we gone too far with bacon?

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Why do people love bacon but fairly neutral on ham? They taste alike to me.

Imagine a milkshake that tastes like ham.

Dr. Tesla on February 3, 2012 at 9:51 PM

.
Nope. To me, fried bacon and fried ham taste distinctly different. I love both but they come from a different part of the pig. Sorry you cannot differentiate, you are missing one of gastronmy’s little pleasures.
.
In fact, I could eat some of each for you and show you that they taste completely different. How would that be?

I’m guessing you are trying to say that the very liberal, probably most liberal Republican ever, is the best candidate this year, and if I could discern things like you can, like how awesome bacon is compared to it’s ugly cousin ham, I would know just how awesome Romney is. Right? :)

The morons over @ ACE’s FB group will be in ecstasy.
I don’t eat bacon. I claim it’s out of respect for my birth faith-though my parents never kept kosher.
Husband thinks that I’m really doing it because I think pigs are cute.

Dude, go to rehab, back away from the thin mints. The libs have been indoctrinating those unsuspecting Girl Scouts. They’re now handing out award patches for reading Algore’s ‘Inconvenient Truth’. Find out if the ‘Heritage Girls’ sell cookies. Conservative treats without the global warming guilt.

I was going to be a killjoy and slam such a frivolous post from AP. Until I saw it was from Jack!

Jack in the Box is my hometown (San Diego) burger joint. All my cruisin’ American Graffiti moments revolved around Jack’s Bonus Burger, fries, hot apple turnover and chocolate shake. Back in the day I could eat all that and still look damn good.

I’m busting with SoCal pride in Foodmaker Corp for rising to the Bacon Shake. I’m heading home from Baghdad by the Bay at 5:00 AM Saturday after over a year of exile. First stop, the Broadway Jack’s in El Cajon and a BLT Cheeseburger with a Bacon Shake.

Allah, I shall report in as requested. No Jack’s, no In-n-Out… I weep for you.

PS: for you poor folks who can’t eat In-n-Out locally, when in Tejas or California or Nevaaada or OOtah be sure to order
“ANIMAL STYLE”. It’s not on the menu. Shh. Don’t tell Allahp.

Dude, go to rehab, back away from the thin mints. The libs have been indoctrinating those unsuspecting Girl Scouts. They’re now handing out award patches for reading Algore’s ‘Inconvenient Truth’. Find out if the ‘Heritage Girls’ sell cookies. Conservative treats without the global warming guilt.

trish333 on February 4, 2012 at 2:22 AM

uhmmm, trish – did you click on the Thin Mints link?

I get my Thin Mints from a G.S. pack that I can guarantee you will never get THAT award patch. Their den mothers would sooner drink battery acid.

I love visiting California but the value system some folks have out in California … I was at a business dinner in San Francisco a few years ago. The topic that I had been married for 30 years came up and there was kind of a stunned silence at my end of the table. I asked the woman to my right “What was that about?”

She replied, “Well, around here if you had said that you were married to a lovely 23 year old who is your third wife – that would have fit in better.”

ANYTHING that causes “addiction” will be banned or taxed under ObamaCare.

You name it…….Motorcycles, skateboards, you could see pony rides for the kids be banned, public swimming pools, skydiving, scuba diving, outdoor fire pits, candles for sale indoors, George Foreman cooking grilles, horseshoe sets, football, baseball, etc.

You don’t think so?
They already mandate what kind of Gas cans can be manufactured in the US because of the environment, shower heads, working on banning garbage disposals, going after the Amish over milk, won’t let you watch children in your home without a state license, and on and on and on…..

Welcome to Progressive America…….where it’s “always winter, and never Spring”.

Combining the two however is downright Vomitus Maximus.
Back in the day, Jack-in-the-Box was a great snack after a long night:
0200 hours (2 a.m.) Deep fried burrito and a strawberry shake!
Jack always advertised their excellent burgers with “secret sauce” which one could make jokes about for years … Mayonnaise, Ketchup, Relish … (nudge nudge, wink wink)

Bacon and eggs, a BLT, burgers, bread, whatever, just NOT a milk product!blech

They already mandate what kind of Gas cans can be manufactured in the US because of the environment…

Welcome to Progressive America…….where it’s “always winter, and never Spring”.

PappyD61 on February 4, 2012 at 7:58 AM

I have fugitivly released more gas on the ground with those spring loaded nozzles than I ever did with the the old flexible ones with a cap. Once busted off a plastic tank by pressing down to make the dang thing let gas flow and then noticed the nozzle didn’t close itself when I set the can down. Useless.

I took my wife out for an afternoon drive and a Bacon Shake at Jack in the Box! Boy do I know how to show a girl a good time. I didn’t care for it. Too much bacony aftertaste. She liked it better than I did, but she’s from Oklahoma so go figure.

Allahpundit – ok, I took one for the HA team. and you OWE me. Here’s what happened.

It wasn’t on the order menu so I asked if they had the bacon flavored shake.
“silence” then a covert ‘yes’
I’ll have a small.
I’ll also have a small chocolate shake and a large ice tea unsweetened extra ice
(figured I needed those as PALATE cleansers)
“Is that all?”
(I had the feeling this was a trick question – like was I a secret spy sent only FOR the bacon shake and the other drinks hadn’t fooled them – and I figured since I was going to probably barf I needed something to absorb the bacon shake and starch did that but I needed it plain)
“No, I’ll have your terriyaki bowl” (thinking I could get to the rice at the bottom).
Normally they repeat the order to you but this time the man merely asked if everything was correct on the viewscreen.
“Yes”
‘$13.62″

Pulled around and I saw them as they were about to put whipped cream on TOP of the shake and I said through the drive through window – “NO! No whip cream”
“On either?”
“Right. No whip cream on both”
I noticed a dark spot in the bacon shake as he handed it to me and I asked “Is that real bacon?”
“No, the syrup is just really thick. Would you like me to mix it more?”
“No. That’s ok” (I figured I would point my straw at that Jupiter size bacon storm floating in my ice cream shake and try and suck it out)
I looked at the clock: 12:42

The first thing you notice is the car starts to SMELL in an unpleasant odor. Its neither cooked meat nor a pastry. Its definitely a bacon smell though but its sweet and makes you open all the windows.

I put the straws into the 3 drinks figuring I would need the chasers quickly if this went south in a hurry.

I took 3 pulls from the bacon shake – the first one tasted like ice cream and butter. I moved the straw and got a good taste of bacon flavored ice cream which didn’t taste bad the first time (no after taste) and the third taste was when the stomach/gag factor suddenly kicked in. So I switched to the ice tea and drank that for a while, then switched to the chocolate shake.

Drove around for 10 minutes as I wanted to see if there would be a difference in taste as the ice cream melted and the flavor became stronger.

I got another 3 pulls of bacon flavored ice cream shake down my gullet before I couldn’t take it anymore, had to pull over, and go for the ice tea/rice in the terriyaki bowl or I knew I was going to heave it all out in about 2 minutes.

Those last 3 warmer flavored ones really WERE bacon flavored. When it was cold you couldn’t taste the bacon as much. When it warmed up? The thickness of the syrup had integrated into the melting of the ice cream and formed that scene from the Simpsons where Homer is having a thought bubble where he’s slobbering and saying “bacon” as he’s looking at the pig. It was definitely bacon plus smokey plus sweet.

I used the garbage dumpster at the parking facility where I had pulled into to throw the whole thing away except for the ice tea because of the smells – smokey, sweet, bacon, terriyaki (which I didn’t have – just the white rice at the bottom w/out the sauce and none of the chicken or veggies).

After about a mile the car smelled better, my stomach felt better, I was forgetting about the whole thing as long as I had my JITB ice tea which is the best next to star bucks passion fruit non-sweetened. As soon as I got home I wrote this for you so I wouldn’t forget any of the experience

As promised when I got back to San Diego County I swung by a local Jack’s and had a BLT Cheeseburger, fries and a Bacon Shake.

Most web posts whine about it being obnoxious or something. These aren’t bacon eaters obviously. It’s quite good actually. Torani makes darn good syrup. It’s bacon for sure.

The flavor is more familiar for breakfast than lunch. How you eat breakfast is probably the best indicator whether you’d like the Bacon Shake. Imagine you’ve got a short stack, two eggs sunny-side-up and a side of bacon on a plate. If like me you’d set the eggs and bacon on the pancakes and put maple syrup on the whole stack, well, you’ll like that shake.