Q: What do the Jacksonville Jaguars and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Jaguars fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: What did the Jaguars fan say after his team won the Super Bowl?
A: "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"

Q. How are the Jaguars like my neighbors?
A. They can't pick up a single yard!

Q: What do the Jacksonville Jaguars and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?
A: Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.

Q: Want to hear a Jaguars joke?
A: Chris Ivory!

Q: Why is Blake Bortles like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall he goes into hibernation.

Q: Why does President Obama want to send Jaguars QB Chad Henne to Syria?
A: The CIA are convinced Chad is the only American who can overthrow Bashir Assad.

Q: How do you know the Jacksonville Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Jacksonville.
A: For the first offense, they give you two Jaguars tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Q: How many Jaguars fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in Houstons shadow!

Q: What do the Jaguars and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sundays!

Q: How many Jacksonville Jaguars does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Jacksonville Jaguars.

Q: What do the Jacksonville Jaguars and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep an Jacksonville Jaguars out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Why are so many Jacksonville Jaguars players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!

Q: Why doesn't Orlando have a professional football team?
A: Because then Jacksonville would want one.

Q: Why are Jacksonville Jaguars jokes getting dumber and dumber??
A: Because Jaguars fans have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What's the difference between Jacksonville Jaguars fans and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

Did you hear that Everbank Field had to be resodded?
Thats really sad when you cant even get your own grass to root for you!

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Jacksonville Jaguars fans.

Can a Jacksonville Jaguar player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.

Son: What's a touchdown?
Dad: I'm not sure son, we're Jaguars fans.

My wife was about to put my son in a Jacksonville Jaguars jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Jaguars jersey on it and now it sucks again.

I put a Jaguars logo on an airplane and now it can't touchdown.

The only thing worse than a Jaguars fan is a Jaguars quarterback.

Are you scared of catching the flu? Just hang in the Jaguars end zone, they don't catch anything there.

Why did the Jacksonville Jaguars fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.

Jaguars fans don't always eat pastries, but when they do it's usually a turnover.

Child Welfare

A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Fulton County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. \
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Jacksonville Jaguars, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Colts Fan
On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Jaguars fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Jaguars fans.
Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?'
Because I'm not a Jaguars fan,' she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Jaguars fan, then who are you a fan of?'
'I am a Colts fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a Colts fan?'
"Because my mom is a Colts fan, and my dad is Colts fan, so I'm a Colts fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Colts fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?'
"Then," Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Jaguars fan.'

4 Football Fans
A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Jaguars fan, and a Colts fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Redskins! ' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, 'This is for the Eagles!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The Colts fan is next to profess his love for his team.
He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Jaguars fan off the mountain.

3 Football Players
There were three football players Blake Bortles, Cecil Shorts and Denard Robinson.
They were on plane but suddenly transported
To 3 pools with a fairy standing next to them.
She granted them one wish each
But it was a transformation wish for the pool.
So the Blake Bortles ran jumped
And wished for the the pool to be transformed into wine and it did
Then it was the Cecil Shorts turn. And he wished for the pool to be transformed into money and it did.
But when it was Denard Robinsons turn. He ran with untied shoelaces
Tripped
And said "SHIT"