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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Since today is about our military, though, try to keep the focus on those great men and women who have served in our armed forces.

See how the focal point here is the cookie soldier being run down and fired on by the chocolate tank?

That's NOT what I had in mind.And finally, you know that feeling of satisfaction you get when a hoity-toity grammar snob corrects your grammar, but s/he's WRONG?

This feels kind of like that.

Quick grammar tip: if you can substitute the word "him," use "whom." But if "he" works, use "who." Ergo, "HE paid," not "HIM paid."Thanks to Margaret D., Amy W., Andrea P., Holly Anne, Andrea P., Lyndi R., & Becky D., for whom [eyebrow waggle] I will be forever grateful. Or at least until tomorrow.

*John's Disclaimer: This was Jen's attempt at a French accent. See, 'cause the dog is a poodle, and poodles speak French. Although he also looks a bit English with the mustache and goatee. Or maybe a bit like Colonel Sanders. Oh! Who was a Colonel!** In the military!

So, in conclusion, eating KFC today is patriotic, and all poodles speak French.Thank you. That is all.

** John's Disclaimer to the Disclaimer: Actually, he was only a private but was given the honorary title of Kentucky Colonel later in life. Man! You guys*** are picky!

*** John's Disclaimer to the Disclaimer to the Disclaimer: By "guys" I mean people, and not necessarily one gender over another. I could have just as easily used "folks." though that would imply that you live in the country. Which you may not. Okay, I'm done.

Reader Comments (98)

My local Mars had a patriotic poodle cake too, with red and blue whiskers. It didn't look as scary as this one though. The other Memorial Day goodies were the standard cupcakes (no CCC's) and little white frosted sheet cakes with red and blue sprinkles...nothing that would make you want to rip out your hair.

When I heard the french accent I immediately thought of the French soldiers in Monty Phython's Quest for the Holy Grail. It fit much better than an Americanized poodle - but then again, I'm Canadian :)

Loved the humour of the post... and the disclaimer was almost as funny! And thanks for the great grammar lesson.

STILL do not see "poodle" in the clown. Maybe this was one of those highly clipped poodles, so looks as silly as a clown?

(And this is aside from the obvious question of what does a poodle have to do with Memorial Day? A double-wreck?).

Wow, my mind must've really been in the gutter: I saw a male 'apparatus' for the bell/Uncle Sam hat (cake #2), a saggy topless woman with amputated arms for #3, an excited version of #2 for cake #4... and then they saw fireworks (#5). Just what was in my coffee today?!?!?!

Learning that #6 featured a tank, the lounging gingerbread soldiers NOT supporting that poor victim is rather disturbing... and definitely sends the wrong message.

At least the last cake had dignity, if not spelling. Which made it only a semi-wreck IMHO.

I KNEW I liked your site for a reason! I've used that "he/who" "him/whom" grammar trick all my life and taught it to hundreds of other people ... you could almost SEE the lightbulbs blinking on above their heads!

The LIBERTY Bell??I thought it was suppsoed to be an outfit consisting of an ugly shirt and bell-bottom jeans! Though I was wondering how that would connect to Memorial Day...It really helps to read the comments!

Although on first glance some might mistake it for a Liberty Bell wannabe cake, I just love the headless, topless girl with the handless Popeye arms and the sagging (albeit somewhat undersized) breasts, who(m) is wearing the bell bottom pants!

It's late, I spent all dang day buying a new car I had no intention of purchasing today, and the neurotic dachshund we've been babysitting for 12 days finally went home about half an hour ago. But since my WV is ricap (to ricap, it's been a very long and exhausting day), I'll sum up: Thanks for Cake Wrecks, even late at night. maybe especially late at night--that Liberty Belle was one scary sight. My husband and I agree, it's a half-nekkid woman with saggy boobs and a tear in her skirt. Wow!

And if you look closely at the tank cake, you'll see the "soldier" it's mowing down has an orange sailor's hat on. Maybe that's why he didn't know to get out of the way?

Jen & John, are you dudes aware of the book "The Deluxe Transitive Vampire"? It's a great reference for all things grammatical. And funny too. BTW, my goddaughter uses dude not only in a non-gender-specific way, but as both plural and singular. AARRGG!

Ohhh where do I begin?? The saggy boob cake.. the evil cookie cake that is either a firework gone anatomically wrong.. or a perverted mind lol. Now that poop tank running over the gingerbread man is just disturbing but it took my mind off the boob cake for a second anyways lol.

Have you recently been kidnapped by "40 specially trained Ecuadoran Mountain Llamas 26 Red Llama, and 142 Whooping Mexican Llamas?" I'm just waiting for the mariachi music and the flashing neon yellow background...

All we need are the Insult Yelling "French" soilders to go with that "French" poodle. Run away!

So the blue thing is either a palm tree with a bow? Or is it an octopus with one tentacle much longer than the others wearing a bow? And this honors the U.S.'s fallen soldiers because military personnel really dig octopus or perhaps palm fruits various and sundry? I REALLY need a drink now.

that "support the troops" cake reminds me of my discomfort with tank shaped pinatas. I mean, nothing screams patriotism like handing 12 7 year old boys a baseball bat and letting them go ape on a US Army tank, right? (I also feel the same discomfort at pinatas in the form of people...something just isn't right about that.)

OMG! Thank you for the great who/whom tip! I was just thinking yesterday that I really needed a good tip for that one. I think I've got its and it's down... it's hard sometimes to be sure of your grammar when its basic tenets are ignored so widely!

My rule of thumb is that you should use "whom" whenever the word "to" could be added to the sentence. For example, you could say, "Whom did I pay the money TO?" You use "whom" when something is done TO someone, whereas you use "who" when you're discussing who actually did the thing being done. I.e., it's a question of subject versus object.