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I’ve had my first troll on my YouTube channel. I have to say, when I opened this up my first thought was to burst out crying! This is horrible!! But now I can see it for what it is and I’m ok, albeit a little shocked that someone I’ve never met could have such a strong reaction to me!

I’ve reported it but thought I’d publish it on here. There really are some horrible people out there 😦

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You may have noticed my incredibly nervous demeanour in my last 3 minute memoir. Or, like most people you won’t have seen the hurricane going on inside of me that I was trying to hide behind a ‘calm’ exterior.

People are astonished when I tell them that I suffer with anxiety. They have no idea the turmoil going on inside and how much energy is spent on fighting the instinct of running away and hiding! I can only explain it as being on a high energy frequency – a very nervous and unsettling one. It’s like I’m vibrating. I feel vulnerable and exposed like everyone will see how transparent I am. The fear of not knowing what to say or how to act, dominates my behaviour.

I’m sorry for my rather dishevelled appearance and my rather slow speech in this video. You can see the physical side effects that social anxiety has on me. People don’t realise how much energy the body is using up when in a state of anxiousness, but I hope there’s some comfort in knowing that there are many of us out there that suffer. We are not alone. xx

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I’ve been doing loads of work on the site today! My new home page has been edited and takes the majority of its information from my previous about page. But I felt it wasn’t really about me, it was more about the site. As the blog as grown, the direction it’s taken has changed slightly so I wanted this to be shown.

Now the fun bit!

My new about me page now has some fun facts about me. I’ve published 15 things you may not have known about me!

I’d love to know what you think in the comment section, either below here or on the actual pages.

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A new week, a new category in the A-Z! Bullying; a cause, rather than a symptom. Something that we often carry into our adult lives, be it low self-esteem or social anxieties. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who hasn’t had some form of bullying and it remains a serious issue both in our children’s lives as well as for us as adults.

Back in the early 90s, mental health was still in its diagnostic infancy. I was what was described back then as a ‘worrier’. Anxiety wasn’t something I or my family had ever really heard of in terms of happening to every-day people like us. I wasn’t suffering from panic-attacks, and there was still an overriding trust of doctors’ diagnoses back then. A time before the internet and Daily Mail health scare tactics.

I have never felt ‘normal’. Having always been naturally very shy (who would have thought this loud mouth was shy!), I would always turn bright red whenever anyone talked to me – something I still suffer from to this day! This made me too embarrassed to speak up in class, and meeting new people was distressing. A vicious circle ensued, where the more I became aware of my social awkwardness, the worse it got.

I hated myself for not measuring up to what appeared to be societies expectations of me.

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Edit: I made a mistake! I’ve only been nominated for 1 Liebster! I promise this is a genuine error (I even started writing the blog referencing it weeks ago!) The person who didn’t nominate and is still awesome, would have been a blog I’d nominated so I’m not going to change the post but urge everyone to check all blogs referenced in this post! Thank you 😀

Let me explain…

I have been nominated for three awards. Two Liebster Awards, one by the awesome Karin who’s blog, Spiritual Awakening you need to visit for some really cool insights, and the other by AnneMarie who’s blog Annemarie and Life is a real fun and uplifting read!

Then I was nominated for a Daydreamer Award by the gorgeous Janet, or The Storyteller as her blog is called. Again I urge you to pay her a visit 🙂

Firstly I want to apologise to the there of you for it taking me so long to respond to these, but please be assured I am very honoured! One reason was that I couldn’t figure out how to tell who’s got below a certain number of followers in order to nominate them and I got fed up.

But from what I understand these awards are meant to bring awareness of other blogs, so I have decided to do my own little nominations of ‘Blogs I think Are Awesome’. It’s not just the blogs that are awesome. These are people with whom I interact often, and many have been with me from very early on. Thank you for your loyalty.

I want to thank all those I’ve who have taken the time to not just read but comment on my posts. I’m incredibly grateful. I wish I could nominate all of you!