Cynical ramblings of a Latin girl living in Dublin

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A message to self and to my fellow spinsters : we are 30ish and we are still saying “When I get married..”. It is not even “if I get married”, it’s “when”.

Let’s face it, most women only want to get married. However, finding Mr Right is an interminable quest, so many girls would just turn any good-enough date into the ‘right’ one – as fast as possible (seize the day!). In women’s mind it pretty much goes like this:

“Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but I am already picturing out our wedding day and life together”.

Premature Marriage Commitment is to women between 25 and 40 what Premature Ejaculation is to teenage boys.

According to WikipediaPremature Ejaculation is that condition in which a man ejaculates earlier than his partner would like him to. Now, by that definition, women suffer from Premature Marriage Commitment, that condition in which a woman commits to a marriage-track relationship way earlier than her partner (date would be a more appropriate term at this stage of the relationship) would like her to.

If men manage to slow down as they age, women’s rapidity to commit to marriage gets faster and faster as they get old.

What are the causes of Premature Marriage Commitment?

Hundreds of years of programming to fear spinsterhood that feminism and modern women emancipation have not been able to erase.

During the happy first five years in their twenties, women live in the belief that there will always be quality men they want to marry and that they can save marriage for after they launch their career, only to wake up one day at the magical age of 30 and realize that their dating market power is on the decline (Ouch!!).

What are the signs of Premature Marriage Commitment?

~ You barely know her and you are instantly in a Facebook Relationship (or even better, she has deleted your Facebook profile, to create one of you two);

~ You tell her that you will call her the day after a date and she calls you as soon as you walk in your house after the date;

~ She is obsessed with your family;

~ She has her wedding day planned already, down to the colour of the bridesmaids’ dresses and flower arrangement.

How to prevent Premature Marriage Commitment?

You can’t. Any form of romantic attention is taken very seriously. Anything you say is translated into marriage-vocabulary in her mind, there is nothing you can say to her to make her think you don’t love her. Even if you stop being nice and amusing her, she will try even harder to prove how much you love her.

If you have met a narrow marriage-minded girl, you are trapped. Keep calm and say “I do”.