Parents face disconnect with teens when it comes to social media and online trends

Sunday

Jul 27, 2014 at 12:01 AMJul 27, 2014 at 9:13 PM

There is a disconnect between parents and their teenage kids when it comes to social media and online trends and it's a gap parents should keep an eye on and work to close, some experts say.

Benjamin Paulin The Patriot Ledger @BPaulin_Ledger

BROCKTON – When Brockton City Councilor Tim Cruise was asked about an alarming and potentially dangerous social media trend called “purging,” he didn’t know what to say. So he turned to someone who might – his 16-year-old son.

Several city officials, from the mayor’s office, police department, school committee, city council and district attorney’s office were unaware of “purging,” when asked about it this week.

“Purges” may include cyberbullying events on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and they encourage people to “say anything,” “expose any picture” and “expose anyone.” It’s a trend that young people from the Brockton area may be involved in.

Some Brockton officials said they would go to their teenage kids to find out information about “purging,” highlighting what experts say is a troubling disconnect between parents and their teenage kids when it comes to social media and online trends.

“Purges” have led to nude photographs of women, some of whom are underage, to be posted online.

News reports across the country are citing “purges” on Facebook and Twitter — where forms of online abuse are encouraged. The “purges” can have drastic consequences for victims, particularly teenagers, said Elizabeth Englander, a Bridgewater State University psychologist and author of “Understanding Violence.”

In Taunton, 14-year-old Kacie Palm took her own life July 17. Family and friends believe she may have been the victim of cyberbullying.

City officials also said they were unaware of the “Brockton Purge” Facebook and Twitter accounts.

On Twitter, @brocktonpurge had 238 Twitter followers as of Friday afternoon. On Facebook, a page called “Brockton Purge” had 1,164 friends on Wednesday. On Thursday the page had been taken down with a message from Facebook that said “Sorry, this page isn’t available. The link you followed may be broken, or the page may have been removed.”

“Teens tend to be on the front lines of hearing about these types of things and seeing them and parents are a step behind,” said Justin Patchin Co-Director of Cyberbullying Research Center. “It’s not surprising to hear that some parents are caught off guard by this.”

Kids tend to be much quicker to pick up on new trends than their parent’s generation is, said Englander.

“There is a disconnect because teens rely on social media so much for their social communication,” said Englander.

The “purging” is something Patchin said could have serious consequences.

“Sometimes it can be hard for adults to put themselves in their position,” Patchin said. “Anything involving social relationships is a big deal (to teens). So if you’re a victim you feel like these images are going to be out there for the rest of your life and in fact that may be the case. It feels like there’s no way to recover if somebody posts an explicit photo.”

“The other problem is teens now recognize the potential permanence of things posted online,” Patchin said.

While cyberbullying is not considered a cause of teen suicide, Annemarie Katulis, the director of the Bristol County Regional Coalition for Suicide, said, “it’s a major contributing factor.”

“They don’t have the life skills yet,” Katulis said. “They have the lived experience to say, ‘I actually do know this is going to pass.’”

Kacie Palm’s parents said they did not have the passwords to their daughter’s social media accounts, shutting them out of the online world their daughter lived in.

Much like in life, keeping track of every move your kids make can be hard.

“It’s very difficult and may be impossible to stay on top of it,” Englander said. “There’s no way to anticipate trends that are going to come up tomorrow.”

The best way to ensure they are safely roaming the Internet is to educate yourself as much as you can about the sites kids use and then talk to them about it.

“They need to ask their kids about it,” said Patchin. “It is important for parents to talk to kids about the potential consequences.”

Englander agrees.

“We need to have much more of a conversation around pictures. When is it OK to post pictures? When is it OK to post pictures of somebody without their permission? When is it OK to tag someone without their permission?” she said.

“Unless you’re going to follow them around looking at their screen the only thing to do about this issue is to talk to them and let them talk to you about what they think about different things,” she said.