[Rogue One] Un'altra possibilità

Jyn wakes up sweating.As always, her sleep has been restless and filled with nightmares.She saw her mother in her dream, she was smiling and singing, backing for her and Galen. She died in a pool of blood, once again.She inhales deeply, trying not to wake the boy in the bunkbed above her; with a silent and swift sequence of steps she rushes towards the door and exits the room.The corridor is dark and empty, the dim light of the fireplace downstairs crates a sequence of shadows and waves of both the floor and the walls: it looks to Jyn as they are dancing, lost in the same trail of nostalgic thoughts as she is.As she slowly comes down the stairs she come to the realization that the living room is empty, Saw must have forgotten to put out the fire before going to bed, thinking it would go out by itself. For once she’s okay with it.Jyn Erso is a complicate teenager, her youth has been filled with grieve and loss and, often, misunderstanding.The words of her friend – if that’s how she can define Cassian – echoes through her ears, as she watches the flames slowly dwindling: “It’s your father, Jyn, I’m not saying you have to forgive him, I’m not saying you have to forget, nor I’m saying you should just pretend he never left. But for god’s sake, just give him a chance, just one”.Galen Erso, the proudest and most clever scientist of the state, universal genius, brilliant professor, excellent guide, and, probably, the worst father that ever existed. The only thing she remembers about him was his soft smile; he used to have a kind heart, she thinks, yet he went away. She clearly recalls his back, his large shoulders getting farer away as she kept crying, sitting next to her mother corpse. Saw took pity on her, he arrived with the cavalry – as he used to call his field team – and took her away, raised her like a child, like she was his very own daughter.Jyn knows he feels threatened by Galen Erso sudden reappearance, yet she has no intention of leaving him, even if she has to admit that the idea of meeting her father, of having the possibility to talk to him, just for once, is appealing.“He just wants to explain himself to you” says a quiet timid voice from the bottom of the stair.“Bodhi… I didn’t mean to wake you up” she mutters, looking at him with soft eyes.“I was already awake, you know what I am sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude or anything. It’s just, give him a chance”.Bodhi is her father’s adoptive child. Well, not that Galen had really adopted him, like in a proper legal way, but he had taken the boy in when his family had died, and he had grown him and kept him with him; the complete opposite of what he had done with Jyn. She’s not angry with Bodhi, though, maybe a little jealous, but not angry. Bodhi is too pure, too caring and too kind for anyone to dislike him.“He had a chance, he had the chance to stay with me, to bring me with him, to save me from a life of recurring nightmare, he had the chance to save my mother. He chose to leave”.Bodhi sighs.“I’m sorry, Jyn. Just give him the possibility to explain himself to you. Another chance. Just one”.She snaps her tongue, holding a pillow.“It’s our action, it’s our choices that defines us. You hate him, or at least you have hated him for the longest time, and I know, and I understand that you are still angry, but please, consider this: this may be the last opportunity you have to talk to him. Don’t be like me, Jyn, don’t be too angry and to proud to accept his explanation,” Cassian voice resonates once again in her mind.He is right, he is always right, but she also knows his situation was completely different as both his parents had died when he was just a kid. She wishes she can call him, but it’s the middle of the night and she doesn’t want to bother him. Technically, she’s supposed to be an independent young woman, almost at the end of her teenage years; she’ll turn nineteen soon, she can afford behaving like a grown up for once.“Just think about it, Jyn, please” Bodhi waves as he turns his back and returns to his bed.The girl nods silently.“I will” she mutters, talking to the dying fire.For once, she knows she will.