In one of my latest writings, I came up with several new definitions of what it means to be a single servant of the true and living God. S_____ IN G_____ L_____ E_____... And, since we're only one week from Single Awareness Day (a/k/a Valentines Day) let’s take a look at some of these new definitions over the next few days:

Situated IN God’s Learning Experience – Matthew 11:28-30We often learn lessons and then just want to take off and run with the lessons, which is what I did after Pray While You’re Prey. But not long after, I felt empty again. I submit that I was so focused on fixing other people that I didn’t take the time to find rest for my soul. I was just looking to make some sort of restitution for my past sins, so that God could bless me with the love of my life. Instead, I should have taken the time to rest in Him and be sure that I was ready for a new relationship. Now, I am relearning some of the same lessons, but this time my focus isn’t on finding a new man; it is on sustaining my relationship with Christ and trusting in God’s plan for me. He has me in this place for a reason, which leads to the next definition.Standing still IN Great and Limitless Expectation – Psalm 46:10One of the hardest things for any human being to do is waiting. Now, if you magnify how hard it is for normal people by about one million, you get how hard it is for me. “Be still and know that I am God…” Sometimes, I read that and think, Has God met me? I mean, He created me, so He knows how hard it is for me to sit still and not try to make things happen. But, here’s the cool thing about God, He gives me the chance to let Him handle it and then, He puts in a situation where I have no choice, but to let Him handle it. I don’t mean that He takes away my free will, but God has a way of making it abundantly clear that if I want things to work out in the best way possible that I have to let Him do His job. And, I have come to learn --usually the hard way --that God always exceeds my expectations when I stop limiting Him to what I want and submit to His will for my life. Ms. EV

I’m sitting here watching our high school’s biggest rival play a football game on national television. As I watch, I see four of the guys that my nephews played sports with in middle school being featured on national television. Now, our team, the team for which my nephews play, beat this rival and got beat by the team that they are playing, but they are on national television and my boys are at my parents’ house watching the game. They are great kids and they are awesome athletes. When the oldest was getting ready to leave middle school, I played a pretty big part in convincing their mom that they should go to our alma mater for academic and athletic reasons. It gave me the opportunity to keep an eye on them and their progress and to watch out for their best interests because I teach there. But, as I look at this game ad these other players on national television getting exposure to colleges, I feel that I owe the biggest of apologies to my nephews. My need to be in control possibly got in the way of their futures in athletics because their current coaches could care less about getting them national attention or even into college; all they care about is winning. One of my favorite quotes is, “We plan; God laughs.” Yet, I still have this inane need to feel in control; to interject myself in situations where God is telling me to just stay out of it. I know that God is able to rectify the situation. I know that not I (as in control as I think I am) can get in the way of his plans for those boys’ futures, or for that matter in the way of my own future. I can wish all day long that I had stayed out of it, but I didn’t, so at this point, all I can do is ask the boys’ forgiveness, ask God’s forgiveness, pray, and trust Him to chart out the best course for all of my nephews and my niece, and for me and everyone I care about. As for me, I will stay out of it. Ms. EV

Yesterday, I talked about Job and the challenges he faced in being tested by God. One thing about Job that I liked was that he was a real human, and even though he endured and did not give up his faith, he did ask questions. God’s response was that He created all and knows all, but I do not believe that He responded in anger; He just wanted to be sure that Job knew that God does everything on purpose. I know why God does not reveal everything about His plan for our lives to us, but that does not make it any less frustrating at times. In faith, I still depend on Him, but in the flesh, I am discouraged when circumstances don’t go the way I feel they should be or don’t happen when I think they should. And then…

Then, there are the times when God speaks so clearly to my heart that all I can do is sigh a deeply heartfelt, “Thank You.” As you may have figured out, I am bothered at times by the fact that I am 34 and I do not have a husband (or a boyfriend for that matter) or any children of my own. Like the judgment of Job’s friends, I have experienced people looking at me with the side-eye, likely wondering what I did or what is wrong with me that I am now a “consecrated spinster.” Surely, I must have made some mistake or I must have made God mad at me. I know enough to know that is not the case, and so did Job. I watched a show last night that showed me that having a family might make my aspirations in life difficult, not impossible, but difficult. And, I don’t know that I will have the particular career that these women have (though, it would be nice), but as I saw a mother struggle to say goodbye to her husband and children in pursuit of furthering her career, I felt peace about my situation.

Perhaps, God is has not given you what you desire because He has a plan that you cannot imagine. And, for that plan to work for His Kingdom, He needs you to be where you are. I have separation anxiety just saying goodbye to my parents and my nephews and niece; it would be heart-wrenching to be torn from my own husband and children. I am not ready for that. And, God knows it; now, He has allowed me to know it and it gives me a sense of peace. I still do not know the “what” in particular, but I feel that I got a glimpse at the “why.” Ms. EV

If you are ever wondering if God is talking to you, take a moment to reflect on messages that you have received on a particular subject. For example, about a week and a half ago I had a conversation with one of my uncle’s about God’s amazing provision. Last week, I was informed about a possible bonus at work. Yesterday, a friend texted me about my music ministry’s movement and I replied that nothing was really happening. Within minutes, I was composing a new song. Today, I received a payment from my day job that I was supposed to get a while back, but that I need right now. This morning, one of the devotions I read was about God’s provision. Another was about being content with what we have. This afternoon, I saw a post of Facebook about getting support from those around you. Each of these instances had to do with provision in one form or another. As I reflected on them, I could hear God’s message loud and clear saying, “I am your Provider. I am your Source. I know exactly what you need and when you need it. As long as you have trusted Me, you have never been alone or lacking anything. In fact, you have had more than have needed, even when it seemed impossible. While you may not have those things that you desire at this time, I know the perfect time. I know the perfect people to use to help you. Keep trusting Me. I have your best interests in mind and I have a plan that will blow your mind.” Provision is not always about money. Sometimes it is; however, other times provision can come in the form of comforting communication from God through others. It can come in the form of a friend who gives you a God-prompted push. It can come in the form of eating for months and suddenly realizing that you haven’t bought any groceries in months. It can come in many forms, but its Source is always the same, Jehovah Jireh; God, my Provider. He will not share the glory with anyone, which means He will not let just anyone help you in your times of need because you may be tempted to give that person or profession glory, or, because that person may take the glory for himself or herself. God’s way is perfect, not easy, but perfect. He has promised to give you exactly what you need. And, I have learned that He knows my every need and He can and will provide it when I jeep Him first in my life. Ms. EV

I truly believe that God places dreams within each of us, so that we can fulfill His purpose for our lives. What we do with our God-given dreams is up to us. But know, you were created for a purpose. We can turn the dream into ministry and reach to seek the lost. Or, we can devote our time to making the dream profitable. Is it possible to do both? Well, the Bible says that we cannot serve two masters. Still, I have faith that if I submit to God’s Will for my life and use the dreams He has placed in me for the building of His Kingdom and to glorify His Name, I will have riches untold. Those riches may be spiritual, material or both. And, whatever He provides will be enough and more than enough.

I have had several dreams. Some have always been present in my life; some have been present for a season. Some have been used to honor God, but honestly, most times, I got swept up in how the dream to uplift me. I have realized, the hard way, that God’s purpose for my life is for others to see Him through me and to feel His love through my love. All the good deeds and good intentions in the world are worthless if I am not seeking His Kingdom. At times, the dreams placed in our hearts may seem strange or even risky, but God knows what He is doing and He knows who He can use. My dream may not fit your life and yours may not fit mine. What God has for me is for me and what He has for you is for you. Once we know the gift He has given us, we must make the choice to live it out for His glory. We must choose to walk it out daily. You may not be able to see what is coming, but if you could, you might not take the leap of faith. So, trust in Him, lean on Him, let Him direct and guide you into the dream He has placed in your heart. Ms. EV

As I was scrolling through Facebook statuses, I saw that one friend posted about pushing through adversity. Then, a few hours later, I noticed some posts from my oldest nephew about being disappointed and working harder, essentially pushing through rather than giving up. Though, I don’t know the situation my friend referred to and I do know the situation that my nephew referred to, both messages were inspiring. When, I combine that with the last few chapters of Acts that I have been reading and look at Paul’s perseverance through persecution, I am motivated to push through rather than lay down (even though laying down seems so much easier to do right now). Many times in life we work very hard towards a goal and are then met with some sort of adversity. For example, I have been writing music for about eighteen years. This past summer, I decided, after a lot of pushing and prodding by others and prayers, to record some of my original music and make my first single available for sale online. I had gotten so much positive feedback about the message, the quality of my voice and the gifts that God with which God has blessed me, so I expected that “Worth Dying For” would touch hearts worldwide. I also expected that I would be able to raise the money to complete my debut CD. And, I had hoped that it would open doors for me to write music for other artists or have the opportunity to pay back my parents and record more music. Well, my Kickstarter project was not successful and I figured that it just was not the route that God had designed for me with my music. Then, when I got my first sales report two months after “Worth Dying For” was released internationally for sale through Amazon and iTunes, I discovered that ten copies of the song had been purchased (and I knew who had purchased four of the ten). No, that was not a typo…ten copies. I was crushed. Once again, I felt like I had listened to God’s prompting to go after my dream, yet the result felt like I had failed again. So, I decided to take a step back and just wait for God to show me what to do next. I am still in that waiting place and every day has not been pretty, but days like today, when communicates to me in so many ways and through so many people, I know that He is looking out for me and that He has my best interests in mind. Through my friend, God has assured me that I am not alone in facing adversity and that I need to keep pressing through it. Through my nephew, God has taught me to evaluate what I am doing and step up my game. I need to continue to work hard, but still have fun and just expect God’s best for me. Through Paul in Acts, God is teaching me that though I may face trials, though I may feel trapped or held captive, there is a purpose and a plan behind every trial. I am not giving up, but I am looking up…to the God with whom anything is possible. Ms. EV

This week’s Sunday school lesson came from Hebrews 12:1-13. The focus of the lesson was how God trains us to live the life He has planned for us through discipline. The verses use the example of parents disciplining their children and how we respect parents who discipline their young and teach them the right way to go. So, if we respect earthly parents who punish their children, then how much more respect and admiration should we give our Heavenly Father when He chastens us. As the lesson began and I read the verses, I first felt guilty for complaining to God, and my mom and my best friend about my current struggles because, as the verses say, I may be struggling in some areas of my life, but I have not “suffered unto death” as Christ did. No matter how bad it feels that my circumstances are getting, there is nothing that I can go through that Jesus did not face. And, I can look to Him as an example of how to face difficulties. When I feel lonely, I can see that He also felt lonely, especially just before He died. When, I feel like my friends don’t understand what I am going through, I know that Jesus felt the same way, as His disciples could not understand anything He was trying to tell them and His closest allies could not even stay awake long enough to pray with Him. When we got to the verses about God chastening those He loves, I sat and wondered, “God, I know I am not perfect, but I cannot think of what I did to be in this state where I feel like I am being punished. I know I have done things in the past, but I trust and believe Your Word that I have been forgiven. I know I will have to face some consequences from past actions, but I feel like I am living in a perpetual state of punishment. And, if you will show me what I am being punished for, I will repent and fix it.” I remember when I was little and I would get in trouble. I always wanted my parents to just spank me, so we could move past the punishment. The worst feeling was when my parents did not spank me or even yell at me, but just simply said, “I am really disappointed in you because you know better.” And, lately, I have been feeling like God is saying He is disappointed in me. I have been feeling that there is something I am supposed to be doing or a lesson that I am not learning and I just want to get my punishment, so we (God and I) can move forward from here. Then, one of the members of the class pointed out that discipline from God is not punishment for things that we do. It is not God’s way of calling attention to our wrongdoings, so we can beat ourselves up about them. God uses discipline to train us; to prepare us for the things that He has reserved for us. I would be lying if I said that I immediately felt better because I did not. I thought, “Ok, Lord, if it’s not something that I did wrong and I am being prepared and not punished, then what part of this preparation am I not getting because this process is painful.” Nevertheless, I know that everything I am going through and every feeling that I feel is something that my Lord and Savior is familiar with, so I just need to seek Him and ask for His comfort and peace through these growing pains. There is something that is going to happen in my life for which I need preparation. God loves me enough to allow me to feel uncomfortable right now, so that when the time comes to reveal the next step on my path, I will not stray and I will be able to fully enjoy what God has for me. He promises that it is all working out for my good and for His glory. If you have experienced something similar or are experiencing something similar, hang in there. God is not punishing you; He is preparing you, so that you can live an abundant life on earth, and then, an eternal life in Heaven. Listen, obey and walk in His Word. He has your best interests in mind. Ms. EV

Back in the day, before it skipped five years and got weird, I watched the show Desperate Housewives. It followed the paths of four friends who lived on the same street and were all experiencing varying degrees of marital dysfunction. It, and many other shows like it, portrays issues that might cause one to consider never getting married; they make the institutions of marriage and family seem like some cruel joke. I know that each family faces its own set of difficulties, but it does not stop me from wanting a family of my own.

One morning on the radio, the topic of the day was, “When I graduated from high school, I thought I would be a _____________, but I ended up being a ___________.” So, of course, I talked back to the radio. When I graduated from high school I thought I would be a high-powered attorney, wife and mother to three or four children, but I ended up being a divorced high school teacher with a very spoiled cat. The good news is that I have recently discovered that, despite my life not being how I envisioned that it would be, I am no longer desperately seeking the things that are out of my control. There was a time when I wanted a husband and children so badly that I married the wrong person because I feared he would be the last one to ever ask. There was a time when I was willing to compromise my morals and do what I knew was wrong in the sight of God just to feel loved because I felt I had to give in to temptation to keep a man in my life. There was a time when I was willing to look past what I desire in a mate for the sake of going on a date because I did not know if I would ever date again.

But now, I am so filled with Love from the inside that the desperation has dissipated. I am willing to wait for the person that I have asked God to provide for me. I am willing to live alone, sleep alone, and eat alone because I know that God has me right where I need to be. I also know from reading the Bible that God never refused to provide, for people who followed His Word, after a famine was over. Does it hurt some nights? Absolutely; it hurts some days, too, but I know my role in how I got where I am, so I know it could be much worse and I praise God for His mercy. Desperation can lead to life-changing decisions, and not in a good way. It can lead to infidelity, violence, promiscuity. It can lead to behaviors that have hazardous results. Desperate is not cute on a woman (or a man). The only thing any of us should be desperate for is more of God; more time in His presence and more intimacy with Him. Ms. EV

How can you put a timetable on the Father of time? When I was younger, I had my whole life planned out. I would finish high school, and then go to college, hopefully graduating early, so that I could go to law school and be finished before I was 24. Then, I would get married and have my first child by 25, so that I could have the other one or two before I turned 30 and there would be at least two years in between them. I would, of course, be doing all of this, while becoming a highly sought-after corporate attorney and the best wife ever. Well, I graduated from high school on time and from college a year early. But, I filled both experiences with so much pressure to be perfect and so many extra activities that, by the time I graduated from college, I was EXHAUSTED.

I told my parents that I wanted to come back home and work for a year before I went back to school and they were very receptive to the idea. That still would allow me to graduate law school by 24 and continue on my timetable. Then, I met my ex-husband. I had already been accepted to law school, but the relationship was going so well, and he wanted to marry me, so I didn’t want to leave for law school until after we had a proper courtship and marriage. This was not exactly part of my plan, but still fit in the plan. You see, by getting married, I was ensuring that I would have a husband, so we could start having babies as soon as I graduated. Actually, as time went on, we planned that we would start trying to get pregnant during my third year, so that I could have the baby as close to my graduation date as possible, so, I could stay home until they were old enough for daycare, and then find a job.

That didn’t exactly go as planned since I got divorced after my first year of law school. Then, I realized I didn’t want to be a lawyer. My whole plan and my timetable went out the window. So, for the next five years, I tried to figure out what I was supposed to do and who I was supposed to be. All the while, I was thinking that I had to have a child by the time I was 30. Then, I turned 30, and while I found a career that I love and had a boyfriend, I still felt pressured to be married and have a child. Then, in the last few years, I have been single and dateless and my job has become less satisfying, so once again, I started searching for or what I am supposed to be. Now, though, I know that I can only find that answer by seeking God’s face.

When I think about my crazy timetables and the pressure that I brought on myself, it all feels so ridiculous. I was accomplishing and achieving, and even, envied, but I was also anxious, aggravated and exhausted. All God wants me to be is His forever, and since He has forever, who am I to try to plan a good time for things in my life? He has a reason for every season. The old fable of the tortoise and the hare teaches that, “Slow and steady wins the race.” So even, when my life seems to be moving in slow motion, I have to know that if am obedient and walk in His Will and His Way, everything that happens in my life is on time. Ms. EV

I have a ring that says, “If God brings you to it…He will bring you through it.” I thoroughly believe that. We live in a world that is not our home. It is a world that is sinful by nature, so life is not always easy. On this side of heaven, there will be disappointment, depression, disease and even, death. This doesn’t mean that God is any less in control. And when those situations come into our lives, it is just another opportunity for God to show His awesome power and His abundant love.

For example, last year, my grandmother, who was one of my best friends, passed away. I sat with her and talked with her while she was sick for months, hoping and praying for a miracle, but God did what was best for her and eased her pain. My pain from that loss was unlike anything I had ever gone through. So much so, that I didn’t think that I would ever heal. Then one day, a few months later, I woke up and no longer felt the hurt that had been pulling me down. I still have times of mourning, but God brought me through the rough part.

Then, there are other times when I have to wonder if God brought me to “it” or if I got there on my own. I have been analyzing decisions left and right lately on every issue under the sun. There are times that I know I made a good, God-led choice initially, and then veered onto my own path and there are times that I just left God out completely. So, when we bring ourselves to it, will God still bring us through it? I believe He will because He knew the path we would take before we took it. It may not be the path He chose for us, but He has a way of working everything out because He sees all and He knows all and best of all, He loves His children. So, if God brings me to it, He will bring me through it and if I bring me to it, He can still bring me through it. Satan would have us dwell on everything we made crooked, but God wants us to watch Him make it straight. We just have to truly want to live and walk in His path. Ms. EV