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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

Preamble

IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

Introduction

WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

Manifesto Demands

THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

Feature running back, Jerome Harrison vs. second-round pick Montario Hardesty: Despite smashing two franchise records, posting the third-highest rushing game in NFL history and totaling 561 yards in his last three games of 2009, the slightly built Harrison probably begins camp as the No. 2 back behind the impressive, if injury-prone, University of Tennessee rusher.

I just had to laugh when I read this. I figured the Browns penciled in Harrison immediately after his outstanding season ending string of performances (which, as we shall see, should have surprised no one). Nope. From Football Outsiders:

Browns unsigned restricted free agent Jerome Harrison only skipped a few OTAs this offseason, but he may have lost his spot on the depth chart in the process.

Rookie running back Montario Hardesty ran with the first team offense at Browns practices when the media were allowed to watch Thursday. Harrison, who rushed for 561 yards in the final three games last season, is seeking a new contract.

I don't know the details all that well, maybe Jerome is asking for way too much. But at this point his production on the field should be undeniable. Well to everyone except Cleveland I guess. From Football Outsiders last year:

How can an anonymous halfback run for 286 yards and three touchdowns? The idea just doesn't apply to other single-game records in sports. No spot starter strikes out 18 guys in a game. Reserve shooting guards don't go off for 83 points.

The answer is that Jerome Harrison simply shouldn't be an anonymous halfback. The fact that he was one until Sunday owes much more to the myopia that envelops football organizations than the weaknesses in his game.

And a little more:

The easy knock on a player like Harrison is that he's too small (5-foot-9, 205 pounds) to carry the full-time workload for an NFL team, and that teams need a back like Lewis to carry the heavy load while Harrison serves as a change of pace. That logic doesn't hold up to the light of day; fellow 5-foot-9 backs include Warrick Dunn (180 pounds), Frank Gore (215), Priest Holmes (213), Steve Slaton (197), and yes, even Emmitt Smith (210).

It's not strictly a running back thing, either -- both the league's top quarterback (Drew Brees) and most active wideout (Wes Welker) are far smaller than the prototypical player at their position. Bad organizations, like the Browns, find what's wrong with their players and use that as a reason to avoid giving them an opportunity.

Maybe the Browns will cease being terrible under Holmgren, but moves like this make the Bengals fan in me a) pleased to know for now at least we still have a doormat in the division and b) perplexed that a franchise in our own division can be run worse than one owned by Mike Brown.

Anyway, if the Browns don't want to give Harrison a contract, I'll take some Benson insurance in the event we cannot agree to terms with him after this year.

I'm starting to turn over to the camp that Ced is not going to get suspended, but then again, I could be wrong. The Commish seems to have other issues on his plate, and his MO is to make a media event out of punishments. Short of, if I can't send a hard message, then there is no reason to be punitive. At least, that's what I'm hoping...

In other news, Afghanistan is very hot, and it is staring to look like I might be able to catch some of the games this season. Thanks goodness for AFN Sports (Armed Forces Network).

Oh, Cleveland! What a mess! Is it any wonder that the talent wants to get away from that team? I tried to warn their fans after the 2007 season that this was coming. More than one spit on their screen in a Mistake-On-The-Lake rendition of The Chin in their fuming and swearing back at me. But look who's laughing now!

I think guys like Harrison are a good argument for the NFL to establish a developmental league. Or Kyle Cook, who went undrafted but runs circles around Eric Girlcheck. For every first round bust, maybe there's a guy who could have been a solid player but never got the shot at it. With the current success of minor league baseball and the American appetite for football, it could work. And it could very well further improve the NFL product.

I believe I have the answer. Paul Brown, with all his football IQ and wisdom, became such a force in the professional football scene because he made a deal with the devil. "Make me a football genius and a legend," Paul requested. Satan in return cursed Brown by saying "Your wish is granted, but as payment your first son will be incompetent beyond comprehension." Paul agreed.

Flash forward to the present day and we see the devil's plan. Paul's first football child, his namesake, are terrible without signs of life. Paul's actual male progeny wants to convert defensive linemen to tight ends.

Moral of the story: don't make deals with the devil. He'll always get you somehow.

Girlcheck! How could I have overlooked that nickname for two years! Kudos. Yes, the Browns (team and family) are stupid beyond comprehension. I would have drafted Harrison in my fantasy league last year (I tried him on waivers a few times too, but mistimed both attempts) but I suspected they would waste him. Vangini will waste him again this year to "send a message" about his power to the team, and they will reap the consequences, hardesty is hardly a lock to be even close to performing at Harrison's level this year. Would love to have Harrison and/or Cribbs, I couldn't believe Cribbs wanted an extension with that team after his neck got broken because Vaginia wanted to "play the game out." Guy's a grade A pompous moron ass. Selfishly glad for the reasons Bienemy pointed out though, so thanks Vagini!