What makes this a story: there's a beginning, middle and end. We see the characters (the unnamed person telling the story) change over time.

And that penultimate line: "Blank windows of his soul stare from his cell" require the reader to know "eyes are the window to the soul." I really like it when the story requires something from the reader as well.

This is brilliant, elegant writing.

(2) Leiilani 4:14pm

Today, I bake. Bars, cakes, especially pies.
He's on the train all
week. He’ll need to eat.
I cream the butter, fold in the way she cries -
like something’s broken deep inside. He beat
her, he says, to teach her not to lie
but I know what I saw. Pinch the crust
into a ruff. I answer yes, and smile,
when he asks if it’s for him. The dust
of Grandma’s plate that broke is sitting by.
I sprinkle hate like sugar. If he should die…
Well. It’s not a crime to bake a pie.

Notice that the rhythm of this entry is exactly what you'd get if you were mixing a cake by hand?

And the rhyme pattern probably has a name but I don't know what it is. Which proves you can appreciate the beauty of something without knowing what it's called.

This is a beautiful piece.

(3) Amy Schaefer 4:51pm

The key to good swimming is: stay steady. Stroke, stroke,
stroke, breathe. Chug along like a train.

I try to concentrate on my technique, but thoughts keep invading. Let’s face
it: this crime was a half-baked idea from the get-go. The mark was too savvy, my
back-up was more Teddy Ruxpin than Terrible Ruffian, and the score was, let’s say, impractical. Did I
expect to lug the gold bars
in my stupid clutch purse?

I gaze around in the golden sunset. The boat is long gone. That little island
doesn’t look any closer.

And my arms are so tired.

Stroke.

I like how the story is framed by swimming. The first line doesn't seem to relate to what comes next. It's not till you get to the end that you understand.It's that frame that gives the story beauty. As a minimalist you might think I'd say 'take out everything that isn't the story" but you have to know that it's both the cake and the frosting that makes a cupcake.

(4) Just Jan 6:43pm

I track my prey to the sign that reads EMERGENCY--red letters baked onto a white background like blood splattered at a crime scene. I slip into the waiting room, a ruffian on high alert for the trained assassins who would bar me permanently if they could.

My quarry rises to greet me with a tired smile. She is beautifully
disheveled--and much too young. My eyes scan the room. I could take another
instead--the croupy baby, the drug addict, the old man muttering epithets. But
as I falter, she kisses me gently, inhaling my fetid breath.

I weep.

ohman ohman ohman. This just grabs you and does not let go.

"Trained assassins who would bar me permanently" is a beautiful example of how to show character through POV. (For you literalists out there: this line refers to the EMTs and medical folk trying to save lives)

And when "she kisses me gently"...brilliant.

This is gorgeous writing, and elegant story telling. I'm in awe here.

(5) E.M.Goldsmith 11:53pm

The train was
full to bursting. Tickets were a bargain, given for the least of crimes, an accident of birth. A utopia on rails as every
man, women, and child, ruffian or respectable, were given equal accord.

Bakers, candlestick
makers, and artisans were stripped of possession as each exchanged a name for a
number. Ash fell like Hell’s snow at the destination platform.

“You get used to the stench,” the captain said.

“There are so many of them,” the boy said, clipboard ready.

The captain appraised him as he brushed yesterday’s arrivals from his uniform
jacket. “There’s room until tomorrow.”

This entry is breathtaking.

There's no emotion in the story: that's left to the reader to provide.

And there's nothing overtly horrifying, except when you get to the end and realize where this is set, and what it's about.

It requires the reader to bring something to the story much like Donnaeve's entry did.

It's subtle but has the impact of a sledgehammer.

This entry is perfection.

Each of the five entries this week could easily have won in previous contests. Each is magnificent in its own way, and worthy of recognition. Each of the finalists are terrific writers.

But much like the very great skaters who had the "misfortune" to skate against Torvill and Dean in Sarajevo in 1984, it's really hard to beat perfection.

With that, E.M. Goldsmith is the winner this week. That entry will haunt me forever.

Elise, if you'll email me with your mailing address, and what you like to read, I'll send you a prize.

Congratulations to all the amazing finalists, and thanks to all who took the time to write and enter. It's always fun to see what you think up to do with the prompts!

I knew E.M. had this when I read through the entries. I'm always searching for that one where I think, "crap, I didn't win this time" because I know that entry takes the cake. It was easy to identify this week. Congrats.

Janet, it is not lost on me that you chose Torvill and Dean’s Sarajevo performance as paying homage to EM’s winning entry. Whether it intentional, or rising from a heart which unknowingly glanced back to another tragic era of troubled differences, the connection is profound. Perfection from Bosnia and Herzegovina is like Germany’s open arms to the refugees of today.Revelative writing moments like this bond this very special community.I am so proud to call myself a writer and a Reider.

Wow! I am overwhelmed and humbled. I can't thank Janet and all the Reiders enough. This contest and blog provide such great resources to improve our skills as writers. I am a great believer in surrounding yourself with people cleverer than yourself. That is the best way to push yourself to improve, and all of you inspire me to work harder and preservere through the hurdles of bringing my work to the public eye.

So many of the entries were so clever. I always enjoy reading them. Carolynn, I really loved the story of Ruffian. I am old enough that I remember that filly. And Donna's story preys on the fears of every parent. So many great entries. Thank you each and everyone.

I'm right with you Steve. When I compose my entry the Friday the contest is announced, I think, "Yes--this is surely a finalist!" Then Contest Day rolls around, I copy, paste, and hit "Publish Your Comment" thinking, "There you go Janet--how about that?" And then I read the other entries. And suddenly I'm five years old, handing my scribbled portraits to the curator of The Louvre...

Well done, E.M.!! A great story and a well-deserved win. :)

And thank you for the "long list" shout-out, Janet. You know that means a lot. :)

Now that I've watched Torvill and Bolero skate about five times... (I remember this, but had forgotten about them)

E.M.!!! Congratulations on a superb story. There were two sentences in your piece that really hit it out of the ballpark (the one about ashes like Hell's snow and when the captain "brushes yesterday's arrivals...") QOTKU is right - perfection.

Congratulations to the special mentions, long list, and the other short listed - such an honor to be among you!

Oh EM, I knew when I read that line "The captain appraised him as he brushed yesterday’s arrivals from his uniform jacket." That your writing would be tops. I am second generation here in the states; my family is from Poland and Belarussia; I have their stories. Yours hurt to read. And thats when you know it is beautiful, haunting writing.

Janet-Thank you! These contests are wonderful to read and write. It is enlightening to see how you whittle 71 entries down to the top five. It helps me to learn craft and what some of the "wow" factors are that make great writing stand out from good writing.

E.M.-Wow. The moment I understood what your story was about I did not want to read the end because we all know the end... Then, I wondered, "Do we all know the end?" The Holocaust is not a popular topic in today's education system. I am going to have my two older children read your entry this afternoon to be sure they understand. It is a history that truly should never be repeated for any group. Thanks for sharing your writing with us.

These are inspiring pieces, that is for sure. I loved E.M's, very haunting. I also saw Just Jan's and realized I was not understanding it at first. I kept coming back to it because I could tell I was missing something good...then I had an ah-ha moment. Those images... Congrats to all.

I feel like I should apologize for my entry. It's in no way a reflection of my opinion of CrimeBake or anyone involved. I've heard nothing but great things about it. I just got an image in my head of this jaded, bitter old guy and… well.

EM, it feels wrong somehow to "congratulate" you for that story. Stunning. Powerful. Thank you for writing it and sharing it with us.

So many good ones again this time. Colin really nailed it, describing how it feels to enter: "handing my scribbled portraits to the curator of The Louvre..." Indeed.

EM, congratulations, I found your story beautiful and powerful. Perfect like Torvill & Dean and Nadia Comăneci.

Donna, your story was one of the two I was in awe of.

Susan, your story was the other one. I read it four times. The first time, I read it the way you wrote it. Then I read the story you wrote in parenthesis. After that, the one you wrote without, and lastly, I read it all the way through again. What you did with 100 words is truly amazing!

Thank you, Janet, for allowing us to say what we think here on your blog and letting us support one another freely.

Can't say enough great things about the finalists. Congratulations to all of you. EM, you should feel very good because you won over some amazing competition. And rightfully so, that was a brilliant, haunting story.

Just Jan, your story was incredible too. So visual, and so alarming coming from such a POV. Shook me.

This neighborhood has gotten so upscale it's ridiculous. I won't be able to afford to live here much longer in my shack.

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