Movie Review | 'The Sweetest Thing'

Building a Movie on the Bad Taste of the Mating Game

By ELVIS MITCHELL

Published: April 12, 2002

For those who think that movies by the Farrelly brothers or Todd Solondz are the Mount Kilimanjaro of bad taste, it's time to grab your parka and goggles — there's a new peak to climb. It's the cold, dreary oxygen-deprived wastes of "The Sweetest Thing." Whatever you say about the pictures made by the Farrellys and Mr. Solondz, they aren't cynical. Roger Kumble's "Thing," which opens nationally today, wears its contempt proudly, like a Prada badge.

Cameron Diaz stars as Christina and, like "There's Something About Mary," this movie plays on the reaction men have to her insane beauty. "She's a player," says one of her victims, who tries to smile through his anguish and somehow ends up pedaling an exercise bike into a wall. After about 20 minutes of "Thing," a concussion begins to look enormously appealing. You see, Christina can't commit to men. She's a tease, and when she and her best friend, Courtney (Christina Applegate), go clubbing one night, the fellas hit the floor to impress the girls with their moves.

The girls are out driving the boys crazy because they've taken their sobbing pal Jane (Selma Blair) out to dance away her heartache: she's just been dumped by her fiancé. And that's when Christina meets Peter (Thomas Jane), whom she tries to set up with Jane. Peter doesn't bite — he sarcastically calls Christina's ham-handed attempt to match him up with Jane "the sweetest thing." But they end up striking up a conversation anyway — it's a meet-cute scenario.

Subsequently, Christina finds she's developed a crush on Peter, and she and Courtney do their best to track him down. They find him at a white-bread wedding that they disrupt, which causes an unlikely, agonizing reappraisal by Christina of her affections.

There are a few dopey laughs in the film, most from the unsinkable Selma Blair with her slender gamine face, dark eyes and heavy lids. Watching this talented actress give a real performance here — she never plays to the camera as almost everyone else does — is like watching Louise Brooks turn up in a sitcom on the WB channel (where Ms. Blair served time for a while). Parker Posey shows up briefly as a distraught bride, and her sharp timing is so good I found myself wishing that she and Ms. Blair were starring in a movie together.

"The Sweetest Thing" has an unusually crummy look: it's quite an achievement to make Ms. Diaz, Ms. Applegate and Ms. Blair look bad, but "Thing" manages it. The movie also proves that the Farrellys and Mr. Solondz aside, not everyone can make a movie built on bad taste and succeed.

Straining at being a girl-power version of "There's Something About Mary," it slathers on dumb jokes like mayonnaise at a cheap sub shop. There are so many scenes "inspired" by "Mary" that the only people sitting in the theater not laughing at this film will be the Farrelly brothers' lawyers, who may be scanning the picture frame by frame.

"The Sweetest Thing" is a copycat version of Ms. Diaz's greatest hits; her dance floor flailing reminds us of her hapless, charming funklessness in "Charlie's Angels." Tacky and smug, "Thing" seems to exist because someone must feel every generation needs its own "Booty Call," though the cast of that movie — which included Jamie Foxx and Bernie Mac — seemed comfortable using hip-hop slang. Witnessing Ms. Diaz and Ms. Applegate trying it here is like watching a reverse affirmative-action version of "Girlfriends" on UPN.

"The Sweetest Thing" even takes a shot at LaToya Jackson's wardrobes. Hold your head up high, Ms. Jackson. Having "The Sweetest Thing" ridicule you is like having Ronald McDonald criticize your taste in clothes.

Directed by Roger Kumble; written by Nancy M. Pimental; director of photography, Anthony B. Richmond; edited by Wendy Greene Bricmont and David Rennie; music by Edward Shearmur; production designer, Jon Gary Steele; produced by Cathy Konrad; released by Columbia Pictures. Running time: 84 minutes. This film is rated R.