Nudity can't dress up iffy reality TV

Nudists Tina and Chris, stars of TLCâs âBuying Naked,â go shopping for real estate in the nude. The show is part of a trend of naked shows that includes the Discovery Channelâs âNaked and Afraidâ and VH-1âs âDating Naked.â

The devil may be in the details. But while he’s into all those details, at least he’s wearing Prada — something reality television might consider.

Reality TV has taken an ugly left turn, one bereft of cute, pink high-heeled shoes and skinny jeans, with its latest trend: naked shows.

They’re naked shows, by the way, that are paying a little too close attention to all their reality stars’ details, if you ask me.

As if it isn’t enough to watch Khloe Kardashian ask, befuddled, about how anyone could steal from her (Hint: You have money and nice things, the robbers don’t). And if it isn’t enough to watch doctors’ wives or housewives get into hair-pulling, all-out fistfights (“Married to Medicine” and any “Real Housewives” show; pick one), or to watch a group of little friends bicker and deal with all sorts of jealousies (“Little Women: L.A.”).

The Naked Chef aside — despite the nickname, Jamie Oliver doesn’t cook in the nude — the clothing-free trend has titillated the Discovery Channel, which in 2013 launched “Naked Castaway.” It followed former British Army Capt. Ed Stafford on an uninhabited island with no tools, no food, no people around and, yes, no clothing.

The Discovery Channel also is the home of “Naked and Afraid,” which chronicles two survivalists, a man and a woman, who have never met each other and must survive for 21 days after being dropped off in a remote locale.

Yes, they’re naked, of course.

TLC has introduced “Buying Naked,” a real estate show with a twist: The homebuyers, who are naturists, do their house hunting while naked (the real estate agent, however, is clothed).

And then there’s the latest, VH-1’s “Dating Naked,” which debuted a little more than a week ago. In each episode, a man and a woman date two different suitors. Pretty much everyone is naked.

I get the idea behind the premise in some of these shows — see if you can survive with absolutely nothing, even without a basic necessity such as clothing, or see if you can fall in love with someone stripped of any preconceived notions you may otherwise develop based on the clothing he or she might wear.

By the way, I’m still not sure how nudity plays into the search for the perfect home. That one is baffling.

I also understand that reality shows need some kind of hook to draw viewers in, and a viewer’s curiosity likely will be piqued by shows like these.

I actually love “Naked and Afraid” and the idea of humans struggling for survival with nothing to help them, not even the shirt on their back. On that show, at least, surviving the wilderness far outweighs the little detail of these poor people being nude. The nudity becomes something you overlook as the show goes on.

And I agree with show producers that puritanical Americans — much more puritanical than our European counterparts — tend to view nudity as something sexual, when being naked is natural, so we should all just get over it.

Still, all this nakedness smells of desperation to grab viewers with the promise of something as naughty as nudity.

The idea, frankly, is starting to wear thin.

Reality TV producers have grossly miscalculated my desire to see a bunch of naked people running around. It’s just something I really don’t want to see.

I don’t know who said the human body is beautiful, but they’re wrong.

Certain jiggly bits and iffy-looking parts just need to be covered up. I’m sorry. That’s why humans invented clothing — well, that and protection from the elements, of course.