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LPW All-Stars RESULTS!!

Fade in. A youthful, cherub-faced stocky man stands in the ring, a sole spotlight on him. The specks of camera phones illuminate an otherwise pitch black arena. The man’s head remains bowed as a quiet murmur is all that breaks the silence. His chest rises and falls calmly as the camera pans around him. He then raises his head, adjusts the frames on his face and speaks.

???: All of this began as a dream for me. A dream for all of us. Like most of you, I grew up without much to call my own. But this? Lords of Pain Wrestling? It was all a dream. Something bigger than me. Bigger than life. And so I tried to make it a reality, whether it was hitting SoL’s Hollywood Hangover off my parents’ mattress or my first ever tag partner Mr. Peepers delivering Stanman’s Afterthought spinebuster to save me from certain doom... with my help, of course. After all, he’s a stuffed animal.

A smattering of chuckles puts him at ease.

???: I’ve since grown up. But I haven’t grown out of this fandom. And then … I saw it. The last time LPW, this giant of sports entertainment … graced all of you wonderful people here in Phoenix, Arizona…

The crowd cheers the mention of their home.

???: The last time LPW was here … our dream became a nightmare. It became hell on earth. It was everything LPW wasn’t. I saw a part of my childhood die that day. And I knew then that I had to do something. I had to do anything, ANYTHING to …

His voice cracks, but he perseveres.

???: I made a vow that night that if I could do anything to salvage OUR LPW. I would. And three years later … here I stand. The new owner of Lords of Pain Wrestling. A man tasked with bringing OUR dream back to life. And I couldn’t be more excited to take that first step here in front of you: the people who most deserve the first glimpse into our vision, the excitement we have for the greatest professional wrestling on the planet.

My name is Mikhail Nabakov. I am a wild card, a maverick, a human embodiment of what LPW’s legacy is: a game-changer in a world of stagnation. You can call me the The Kid. You can call me the World Biggest Wrestling Fan. But what I’d like most … is for you to take a look at the New LPW.

Take a look at YOUR LPW!!!!

With that, Nabakov raises his hands, and a brilliant display of pyrotechnics fire off around Chase Field much to a raucous reaction, marked by the significant amount of hope and optimism swelling within the lungs of the amped Phoenix crowd.

The Kid: WELCOME TO LPW ALL-STARS! ARE YOU READY FOR THIS??

Nabakov can’t help but to show his glee as every fan tries to meet the enthusiasm dancing within his eyes.

The Kid: HELL YEAH! Now, let’s get this thing started with our first match, the --

“Karate Chop (instrumental)” by Metro Boomin’ interrupts The Kid, as LPW United States Champion and Mount Vesuvius Torch holder Chris Austin saunters out to a tsunami of boos. As the lone symbol remaining of perhaps LPW’s darkest time, Austin is clearly walking into a hornet’s nest of hatred. With the title swaying beside him, Austin continues his stroll to the ring, ignoring the spiteful barrage of insults and threats hurled at him. Nabakov looks on starry-eyed as Austin’s head remains bowed. The U.S. Champion’s body language is one of near apathy, or perhaps cold intentions.

Phoenix: Good evening all, and welcome to LPW ALL-STARS! I’m Blazing Phoenix and I am joined in the booth by Robert Lillehammer … and well, after an impassioned speech by our new leader, he’s joined by the man who probably was involved in actions that did more to cripple LPW’s foundation than anything else in Chris Austin.

Lillehammer: I wouldn’t go that far. Don’t get me wrong, excessive force was used on that infamous night. It was. But … LPW would not listen to authority. Foolishness led to that horrific display. I do wonder what Christopher has planned for this … well, I don’t trust him. Perhaps he’s the welcoming committee.

This is met with a torrential downpour of boos. Nabakov rolls his eyes at the obvious implications of Austin’s statement.

The Kid: Well, then. You know, I have to admit I was disappointed to find out that tonight’s card wasn’t going to have you on it.

Austin: Imagine that, the “World’s Biggest Wrestling Fan” acquires his favorite wrestling company, and in his first day on the job somehow forgets to place his favorite wrestling company’s best fucking wrestler on the damn card.

The Kid: All the negativity isn’t needed, man. Trying to start things off on the right foot.

Austin: It didn’t matter the last time LPW rolled into Phoenix, and it doesn’t matter now. I’m the longest-reigning United States Heavyweight Wrestling Champion in LPW history and the 24/7 number one contender to anything he damn well pleases. Simply put, we have a situation that is completely fucked up. And I’ve chosen to fix it.

Nabakov’s eyes widen, a bit surprised at what he’s heard. Meanwhile, Austin – head shrouded by a hood – has yet to look up. The crowd boos their Public Enemy No. 1 and then … shockingly, Austin extends the United States Championship toward the new CEO.

The Kid: Dude, what the hell are you doing?!?

Austin: I’ve done all I needed to do with this championship. I’ve outgrown the damn thing. It’s time I focus on things and people that are closer to my level. I vacate the United States Heavyweight Wrestling Championship.

Phoenix: WHAT?!?

Lillehammer: CHRISTOPHER! NO, THINK THIS THROUGH! WHAT IN REAGAN’S NAME ARE YOU DOING?!

The crowd cheers this announcement as Nabakov shakes his head in disbelief.

The Kid: Uh – look, I’ll give you a lot of credit. In all my years of watching Lords of Pain Wrestling, I cannot recall ever seeing anybody that is so purely gifted at this as you are. I have never seen anyone more technically sound, more effortlessly athletic with such a perfect sense of timing. These people may not like you – and they shouldn’t really – but you may very well be the best pure wrestler in LPW today. Hell, maybe ever.

That said … I cannot let you do this. Like you said, you’re the longest-reigning U.S. Champ EVER. You’ll go down as the best one in LPW history. The title deserves better than-

Austin: NO, I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS. I won this title from a decrepit piece of trash and set about running roughshod over any and all comers. I have an anytime, anywhere World or International Championship match. It’s time I started positioning myself for it. Wasting my time with people who don’t belong in my league gets me no closer to the goal. Take the damn championship. I’m done with her. I’ve had my fun. She’s no use to any other man. They couldn’t hold my jock.

The crowd boos Austin’s venomous … eerily chauvinist views on a title he defended so valiantly. Austin shows no hint of any offense being taken and Nabakov looks conflicted, nearly dismayed.

The Kid: The best wrestler in this company should be chomping at the bit for competition, should he not? For God’s sake, the International Heavyweight Champion defended his belt while he was incarcerated!! The answer is no, Chris. I will NOT acknowledge your relinquishing of the title.

LPW’s champions are fighters. Not cowards. We don’t do things your way around here. We do things the fans’ way, and I think that if you’re going to hand over the belt, it should be in a match where you go down swinging.

The crowd cheers this dressing down of the Student of the Game but a raucous chant builds, urging The Kid to reconsider.

The Kid: Is … is that really what you all want? Do you all want me to accept this vacating of the championship?

Crowd: YEAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Austin smirks.

The Kid: Then so be it. It pains me to say this, and this definitely isn’t the way I wanted to start this night off … but it’s what they want. Chris Austin … as of now, You are hereby relieved of the LPW United States Championship.

Austin nods and quickly hands over the title. Nabakov looks at Austin again, disappointed before folding the title and taking his leave. Austin stands in the ring, eyeing the crowd as Nabakov makes his way up the ramp.

Phoenix: I cannot believe what I just saw … Austin just tossed the United States Championship aside like it was nothing. I am disgusted by this man’s actions. Unbelievable and completely unbecoming of a man with his talent.

Lillehammer: This is a dark day for America …

The Kid stops at the top of the ramp, looks at the title and shakes his head. He turns back to the ring.

The Kid: CHRIS AUSTIN!

Austin whips his hooded head toward the voice, seemingly surprised that Nabakov’s tone has become so stern.

The Kid: We’re not done here. This action cannot be allowed to go as scheduled. You said that you had a top title match to prepare for, yes? With that torch you earned, yes? Well, given how you treated the last thing you’ve earned, as someone who wants to see the best competition, the best matches, the best everything … I’m concerned about you and that torch. That shot is something almost anyone in the back would kill to have, and you dangle it out here, toying with it. Much like your former friends did when PERC ruled LPW.

The crowd boos heavily at that unfortunate reminder. Austin stares a hole into Nabakov.

The Kid: Now, while I can’t in good conscience punish you for that – after all, you had your orders – I most definitely cannot allow you to treat prestigious accomplishments like they’re nothing. And if you’re not going to do your accolades the proper respects, then you don’t deserve to have them.

The crowd goes bonkers as Austin snatches off his hood, eyes incredulous. The Kid holds his ground and gaze as the fans chant “KID! KID! KID! KID!”

Austin: ON WHAT GROUNDS?

The Kid: So, I’ll leave it to the fans of Phoenix, Arizona. The same ones you and yours endangered all those years ago. If I’m going to accept this blatant disrespect of one of the great symbols of Lords of Pain wrestling … then I have to pose the question. What say you all? Does Chris Austin deserve to keep his guaranteed title shot that he won at Mount Vesuvius?

The crowd chants a unanimous “NO! NO! NO!” as Austin paces angrily in the ring.

Austin: You can’t do this! How dare you try to make an example out of me like this, when you let your World Champion off scot-free! You know, the one who basically taped himself committing sexual assault of his challenger’s wife? Why does he keep his belt? Why did the International Heavyweight Champion keep his belt when he was arrested on what appears to be a criminal fuckin’ conspiracy! You have no legitimate reason to strip me of MY torch! I beat damn near everybody in LPW to win it. It’s mine! IT’S FUCKING MINE AND ALL THAT COMES WITH IT!

With that, Austin throws down the microphone and goes to the ropes but while passing through them, he is stopped by the voice of Nabakov.

The Kid: You’re right. But LPW is theirs. And my decisions are made with their best interest in mind.

Crowd: KID! KID! KID! KID!

The Kid: So I will give them what they want. Chris Austin, that torch is yours … but the rights and privileges that come with it – meaning you're guaranteed title shot – ARE OFFICIALLY REVOKED! Now … LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!

Nabakov smiles and bids Austin adieu as the crowd blows the roof off the joint. Austin is frozen, his eyes wide and jaw slightly agape. For the first time in a while, Austin looks like he doesn’t have a solution to a situation presented to him. His hand covers his mouth and both eventually run to his hair, where he’s clearly pulling on it in absolute impotent rage. The crowd cheers as a disgraced Austin trudges from the ring, his ace in the hole having vanished. Austin, shell-shocked, eyes the crowd with death stares as his chest rapidly rises and falls.

Austin: YOU SONS OF BITCHES DID THIS… YOU FUCKING CUNTS … YOU TOOK FROM ME … YOU TOOK --- FUCK!

Phoenix: A blockbuster announcement from Mikhail Nabakov, as Chris Austin is no longer the United States Championship nor does he have his 24/7 world title match!

Lillehammer: This is despicable! Absolutely pathetic! That damn commie has –

Phoenix: Humbled a man who – despite his talent – helped architect a reign of terror that nearly destroyed every bit of good this company had!

Lillehammer: As I said, a dark day in America. That no good foreigner! A damned fool is what he is!

Phoenix: No, it’s one of the great days of LPW, and we haven’t even gotten started!

Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
The arena blacks out with only dim blue lighting glowing around the PAIN-O-TRON.

The synthesizer from "Not Gonna Die" by Skillet reverberates through the arena as the lights kick back on. Blue and white lighting floods the arena as Matthew Kazama is standing center stage with his arms thrown out wide. A huge eruption of cheers echo throughout the arena as The Last Kazama makes his way down to the ring.

Phoenix: Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, this rivalry has been brewing for so long. Caesar took out Kazama’s protege Gavin O’Connor, putting him on the shelf. Against all odds, the 2 men, forced to be a team, advanced into the finals of the Tag Team tournament, before Caeser walked out on Kazama…

Lillehammer: ...If I had to tag with the idiot I would have walked away too!

Phoenix: That’s not the only time Caeser betrayed Kazama. In Chicago, Caeser got the better of Kazama again by hitting the Hail Caeser on his own partner, allowing Bane Uzzah and Sean Jensen to snatch a win.

Lillehammer: It’s all part of Caeser’s plan of 4D chess, ya know? The man’s getting into the head of Kazama, and emotions will be high for tonight’s match.

"Never Learn Not to Love" by The Beach Boys rings through the arena as the crowd rains boos towards the titantron. Matthew Kazama climbs to the top turnbuckle before throwing his arms out, awaiting the entrance of his rival.

Phoenix: Caeser seems to be taking his time to appear… Watch out!

Caeser Osiris rushes in from the crowd where he was hiding and clubs Kazama from behind, pulling him down from the turnbuckle as the crowd boos.

Lillehammer: YES! YES!

Phoenix: Sneak attack by Caeser and the bell hasn’t rang. The crowd is not happy. How quick is Kazama! He ducks the clothesline and hit a beautiful dropkick. Caeser over the rope to the outside!

Kazama climbs to the top turnbuckle before throwing his arms out once more with a primal yell. "LET'S FUCKING GO!" as the crowd roars in approval.

Lillehammer: He seems fearless, but Caeser is going to humble the boy.

Phoenix: Caeser is taking his time, slowly walking back to the ring from the steel steps. The bell finally rings.

DING DING!

Phoenix: And here we go. A basic tie up between the two. The speedy Kazama darts behind Caeser, Caeser spins around and attempts a spinning clothesline! Oh, big miss there, and…. a drop toe hold on the advancing Caeser! Kazama runs to the ropes and hit a spinning heel kick right to the temple of Caeser! Looks like Kazama is having a slight edge over Caeser.

Lillehammer: Caeser needs to slow down the proceedings or Kazama will outpace him.

Phoenix: Kazama is relentless, running the ropes again, leaping... He hooks his legs around Caeser’s head for a hurricanrana! Caeser is in trouble! He’s holding on… and hits a powerbomb! Did you see Kazama’s head bounce off the mat?

Lillehammer: Just like that, Caeser gains back the initiative! Great aggression by the bigger star.

Phoenix: Caeser circles around Kazama like a hyena, and stomps on his ankle! His game plan is to take out the speed of Kazama. Caeser now lifts Kazama and slams him into a kneebreaker.

Lillehammer: Great strategy to prevent Kazama jumping around and using his speed advantage.

Phoenix: Kazama is holding on to his right leg. Caeser holds him up for a vertical suplex…

Kazama flips over Caeser and lands on his feet.

Lillehammer: NO!

Phoenix: What a reversal! Kazama now with a belly to back suplex! We see Kazama’s renown quickness in action. Caeser holds onto the ropes to support himself. Kazama runs towards him and is vaulted over the top rope and lands on the apron... WHAT A RIGHT HAND! Kazama’s high flying move cost him! Caeser’s punched him in mid air as he tries to springboard into the ring!

Lillehammer: He crashed and burned. That’s gonna hurt in the morning.

Phoenix: Caeser ignores the referee and steps out the ring. He grabs Kazama off the ground with evil intentions.

Lillehammer: This is great, Phoenix!

Phoenix: Caeser throws Kazama into the steel steps. Did you see his knees bouncing off the steel?

Phoenix: ROLL UP by Kazama! One, two, and… a forceful kick out by Caeser! He was caught by surprise. Both men up on their feet but Kazama’s hobbling a bit.

Lillehammer: HIT HIM WITH THAT LARIAT!

Phoenix: Kazama ducks again. Now with some stiff punches to the face of Caeser, but Caeser rakes his eyes! The referee and the crowd aren’t pleased with Caeser’s tactics here.

Lillehammer: That was a master move! Caeser is back in control, hitting Kazama with the gutbuster STO! Caeser follows up with a spinning pendulum elbow, right into the sternum of Kazama. That will teach him.

Phoenix: A quick cover, One, two, and… kickout. Caeser gets right back on his feet, stomping at Kazama’s right ankle again. Contrasting styles clashing in the ring, who will gain the upper hand?

Lillehammer: Take out Kazama’s leg and he has a good chance.

Phoenix Caeser hooks his arms around Kazama’s head. He holds Kazama up in the air! What a show of strength by Caeser!

Despite the crowd’s dislike for Caeser, they count along to 5 seconds before Caeser drops Kazama with the suplex.

Phoenix : A stalling vertical suplex!

Lillehammer: Ah ha! That will knock the wind off Kazama.

Phoenix: Caeser grips Kazama with the ankle lock! Kazama quickly hops to a single leg… A big enziguri breaks up the hold. What a counter! Kazama hobbles to his feet and holds on to the ropes...

Lillehammer: Caeser rushes, ducks down and destroys his leg with a vicious chop block! Kazama must be in agony! Caeser takes his time, mocking the crowd. He knows he has Kazama right where he wants him.

Phoenix : Caeser is getting cocky here. Never let your guard down when you’re up against a veteran like Kazama.

Lillehammer: Kazama is a veteran idiot.

Phoenix: Whatever you say. Caeser throws Kazama into the corner, and charges towards him. Kazama has his knees up! Great speed by Kazama as he leaps up to the second rope and he hits a missile drop kick! See, I told you. There’s a great chance for a comeback.

Lillehammer: Come on Caeser!

Phoenix : Kazama with a snap suplex on Caeser! Kazama runs off the ropes with a big leaping leg lariat! Kazama is on fire now, the adrenaline is helping him shake off the pain in his ankle.

Lillehammer: The guy’s like a cockroach that just won’t die!

Phoenix : Kazama has shift the momentum back in his favor. Caeser tries to hit a lariat, but Kazama grabs Caeser for a big DDT. One, two, and… kick out again by Caeser.

Lillehammer: Caeser needs to wake up. Kazama is now on the top rope! He dives with a flying cross body! Caeser rolls over! One, Two, and...

Phoenix: KICK OUT by Kazama. Both men up on their feet! Oh! Did you hear that? Caeser slaps Kazama right in the face! What a blatant show of disrespect!

Lillehammer: I wouldn’t say that, the monkey deserves that wake up call. Look, another one! Caeser is slapping him so hard, I am surprised his teeth are still intact!

The crowd roars in approval when Kazama returns a loud ringing slap on Caeser.

Lillehammer: Caeser is firmly in control now. He’s carrying Kazama up on dangerous territory. He’s signalling for the turnbuckle brainbuster! Risky move for a risky payoff… ! No! No!

Phoenix: Kazama reversed with a top rope hurricanrana into the pin! One, Two, And kick out! The action is fast and furious! Caeser is up on his feet, and a big boot to Kazama’s arm! He is setting Kazama up for the Fall of Rome Submission! PELE KICK BY KAZAMA!

Lillehammer: This show off manages to wriggle free again before the hold is locked in. He just knocked Caeser out cold!

Phoenix: He’s not going for the cover. Kazama slowly lifts himself to the top rope! The fans are roaring in anticipation for the The Last Kazama! Kazama hesitated for a second, kicking to feel his ankle. Off the top rope… NO!

Phoenix: Caeser rushes forward for the cover! One, Two…. And kick out again! I can’t believe this! Caeser quickly with the Fall of Rome locked in! Will Kazama tap out? Kazama is crawling to the rope, and… Kazama reverses! Technical reversal by Kazama, and he got it locked in! The Fall of Rome on Caeser!

Lillehammer: NO! NO!

Phoenix: Caeser rolls over on top of Kazama, pinning him! One! Two… and a kick out by Kazama!

Lillehammer: Both men are struggling to their feet…

Phoenix: Kazama rushes towards Caeser and hits an step-up enzuigiri. The crowd is chanting his name! A superkick to the face of Caeser! Can Kazama capitalize on his momentum?

The crowd boos as Caeser rolls out of the ring before Kazama has a chance to pin him.

Lillehammer:That’s the in-ring strategist demonstrating his prowess. Oh no! What is Kazama thinking?

Kazama signals to the ropes, runs across the ring and performs a suicide dive to the outside on Caeser. The crowd chants “Kazama! Kazama!”.

Lillehammer: Why do they love this man?

Phoenix: Kazama is still holding his ankle, but he’s fired up! He pushes Caeser back in the ring, and Caeser looks like he’s knocked out cold. Kazama is in a good position to win the match here. Kazama signals for the Silver Diamond! His ankle is hurting but he manages to get Caeser up on his shoulders!

As Kazama swings Caeser forward to connect with the cyclone DDT, Osiris lands on his feet.

Phoenix: Osiris has his arm raised in victory, but he looks dazed. What a back and forth match by two incredible athletes. Great showing by Kazama as well, but Caeser’s strategy to attack his ankle paid off in the end.

Lillehammer: Caeser finally put away the pesky circus monkey and he deserves every moment of victory. Both Gavin Connor and Kazama have to bow down to the King from now on.

Mourn Despana is shown taping up his hands, looking at them with a steely glare as suddenly Steven Thornridge comes into the shot. He unfolded a steel chair, sitting down on it next to Mourn with his newly won championship over his shoulder.

Thornridge: I know you told me not to disturb you until the event is over. But this will be better if I say this now.

Mourn pauses for a moment, remaining silent before he continued to tape up his hands.

Thornridge: It has been a while hasn't it? Since we've been here, in Phoenix. There has been a lot of things that have happened since. The PERCs, Mount Vesuvius, Carter, The MourThor Fuckers... it all started here. Our friendship started in Phoenix. But ever since I started getting to know you, I know you had this fire behind you. You've wanted this opportunity.

Mourn remained non-responsive, throwing the tape over his shoulder and punching his open palm.

Thornridge: I can't speak for Mr Bronx, but I didn't want you to waste that opportunity that you have worked so very hard to earn. That's why I stopped you from tearing Golden apart at the last event, no matter how much he deserved it. We are amigos, brothers, musketeers, we look out for each other. Above all else, we're Professionals damn it! Who cares about differences, you know?

Mourn turned his head, glaring at Thornridge and causing The Aussie Crusader to flinch at the sight.

Thornridge: Look, I know you don't need this permission from me right now but I feel it would help. But do it. Go ahead and dismember this fuckhead limb from limb. Force him to change his name from Golden to Crimson Red and take what belongs to you. Become world champion man. Bronx and I will be watching from the back. Kick his ass champ.

Thornridge patted Mourn on the shoulder, Kassandra coming in as Thornridge left the room.

Thornridge: You've scored yourself a keeper in him Miss Kassie.

Kassandra scoffs.

Kassandra: Damn. I guess I should marry him then. If that's okay with you.

Crotchman: So far, a great evening of action here in Phoenix, Arizona. Coming up later in the evening is the LPW World Tag Team championship match when The Professionals of Bronx and Steven Thornridge face off with Champions Justus and Damien Blaze. Joining me at this time, the team of Ozzy Crerar and THE David Maverick. Gentlemen, you here tonight to put your hat in the ring to face the winner?

Maverick: Okay, let's get this done with...

Ozzy and Maverick come into view. Maverick with a douchy smirk on his face while Ozzy laughs towards his tag partner.

Ozzy: Maverick, always the prankster… Crotchman. A very fair question. But, we haven’t earned our right to ask for that match. Our win/loss ratio isn't as great as we'd like. Maverick and I, we have is heart. This will not keep us down. We have-

Maverick grabs Ozzy by the back of the neck, and rams him into the camera lens causing the stand still devise do go tumbling. Turing to another camera, Maverick grabs the fallen camera and waits for Ozzy to stand.

Lillehammer: Exactly what he deserves. He cost them that match against the Professionals.

Phoenix: Someone stop this! Wait, MAVERICK DROVE THAT CAMERA RIGHT IN THE EYE!

Lillehammer: Good. Ozzy and his faux Americanism. I hope this helps him see the error in his ways. Anyone who insults this great country as he has should be taken to task!

Maverick grabs Ozzy and tosses him on top of an equipment card. Once on top, he tosses him on top of a higher cart. Security come running into view to talk Maverick down as the Englishman follows up top to continue his handiwork.

Phoenix: Maverick lifting up Ozzy- OZZY FIRING BACK! RIGHT HAND! ANOTHER RIGHT- RAKE OF THE BAD EYE BY MAVERICK! SO SICKENING! HE’S DIGGING THOSE FINGERS IN!

Phoenix: MAVERICK BOMBS HIM THROUGH THE EQUIPMENT CART! SECURITY CALLING FOR MEDICS!

THE David Maverick looks down from up above at his handiwork as the crowd can be heard in the background yelling "Holy shit!"

Lillehammer: He’s embedded in important stuff! Hope he pays to replace it.

Phoenix: The man just got… Lillehammer this is a serious moment. Not only did Maverick attack that eye, he may have given this man a major injury. A man who got him his first tag title opportunity! This is how he repays him?

Lillehammer: Ozzy’s been a disappointment to him. You know how this game is.

Phoenix: Still. This ain’t right. I just hope that Ozzy isn’t seriously injured.
The medics come in as Maverick hops down. He leans over with an “up yours” at his former partner as Security ushers him away.

Phoenix: Goodness… Coming up next, what has become something of a blood feud between Sean Jensen and Bane Uzzah.

Lillehammer:You’ve got that right, last week Sean and Bane were able to co-exist as tag team partners, in part thanks to Osiris turning on his partner, Kazama. But tonight they’re not partners, they’re rivals.

Phoenix: But tonight they finally settle the score.

Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, weighing in at 230 pounds, from Sacramento, California, Sean Jensen!

“Catch Fire” by Periphery starts to play as Sean Jensen enters the arena. He looks focused and collected as he makes his way down the ramp, and into the ring. The camera focuses on Sean looking out into the vastness of the crowd, as the side of one of his lips curls up into a half-smile. Sean makes his way into the ring, and stands in the corner.

Announcer: His opponent, weighing in at 230 pounds, from Jerusalem, Israel, Bane, Uzzah!

“Sapari” by Orphaned Land starts to play as Bane Uzzah enters the arena. As the song continues, he removes his stylish top hat, and jacket and begins to make his way down the ramp, and into the ring. Bane finds himself in the corner. Sean looks across to him, and shouts at him. The camera is close enough to pick up his words:

Sean: Where do we stand?

Bane doesn’t hesitate as soon as the bell rings, and moves forward with lightning quick speed. He reaches for a single leg takedown, but Sean kicks his hand away. With his head down, Sean strikes Bane across the side of the face with a kick. Sean follows it up with another, but as he does Bane ducks under the leg, and manages to strike his opponent with an elbow.

Phoenix: Fast and furious action right from the get go. Bane is on the offensive, and manages to strike hard with a massive elbow. Jensen now, down to one knee, Bane backs up, trying to get some momentum off the ropes.

Lillehammer: Bane and Jensen have been at each other's throats all cycle. It’s a wonder they were able to exist at all as a team last week, let alone pick up the victory.

Phoenix: Very true. Bane rushes past him, hits the ropes again, and connects with a dropkick to the back. Jensen goes face first into the canvas. Bane is immediately on him, and locks in a vicious neck crank!

Lillehammer: That’s the aggression of Bane Uzzah. Hell-bent on tearing the body apart, piece by piece.

Phoenix: Jensen reaches for the ropes. He stretches, and the tips of his fingers connect! He’s got the rope! The referee now telling Bane to break the hold, which he does. Bane is back up on his feet, and Jensen starts to make his way up as well.

Jensen charges at Bane with a forearm, and Bane strikes back with a forearm of his own, which sends Jensen stumbling back. Jensen gets his footing, and retaliates with a headbutt.

Phoenix: Bane now, reeling back to the corner. Here comes Jensen with the splash!

Jensen goes for a splash in the corner, but Bane sidesteps out of the way.

Lillehammer: Jensen looks like he’s dizzy. This could be the opening that Bane needs.

Phoenix: Bane on the attack once again, he lunges at him quick with a spinning back fist, and Jensen topples over. Bane is going for the pin! One! No!

Lillehammer: Jensen kicks out. It looks like Bane will have to punish him more if he wants to win. And somehow I don’t think the Israeli Assassin will mind the chance to hurt Sean a bit more.

Phoenix: As Sean starts to rise, Bane helps him up, but backs him into a corner. Bane starts slapping him over and over across the face. He lifts Jensen up onto the top rope. Jensen isn’t just sitting on the top rope, he’s managed to get into a standing position! Jensen boots Bane in the chest, Bane goes tumbling back onto the canvas! Jensen takes a leap off the top rope, and lands squarely on Banes shoulder with a double foot stomp. Sean covers him, hooking the leg. One! Two! No!

Lillehammer: Both men down on the mat. Sean gambled big on that one, but it might have cost him.

Phoenix: Bane now, grabs the ropes, trying desperately to get back to his feet. On the other side of the ring, Sean is back up too. Bane sees that Sean is up, and dashes toward him, Sean pulls down on the top rope, and Bane Uzzah is sent over.

Bane topples down to the arena floor. Sean looks out at the crowd for just a moment, hits the ropes on the other side of the ring, and dives through the middle with a suicide dive.

Phoenix: Suicide dive, taking out Bane!

Lillehammer: If you’re either one of these men, you know that your pride is on the table. Interestingly both Sean and Bane have said time and time again they actually have a lot of respect for each other. That’s part of the reason they were victorious as a team last week. But this isn’t about respect. This is about who is the better man.

Phoenix: Sean is back on his feet, and manages to roll Bane back into the ring as well. Bane tries to crawl away from Sean, back into the corner. Sean takes point in the opposite corner and charges toward Bane with a forearm smash. Bane goes down to a seated position.

Phoenix: Jensen goes back into the corner, charges toward Bane again, and strikes hard with another forearm smash. Bane has his wits about him though, follows Jensen back into the corner, and connects with a clubbing elbow. Bane hits the ropes, but Jensen is on the ball, and drops him with an STO. Both men are down in the centre of the ring.

Lillehammer: The action just hasn’t let up here. Each move has been followed by something even more explosive.

Phoenix: Indeed. Jensen is back up. He looks down at Bane, shakes his head, and starts to head to the top rope.

Lillehammer: He’s got the chance to pin his opponent, what is he doing?

Phoenix: It looks like he’s going for that foot stomp again. He knows Bane won’t go down without a fight, not with pride on the line. Jensen again with a double foot stomp, but Bane rolls out of the way, and uses the ropes to quickly scramble to his feet. Jensen is stunned for a moment, and Bane takes advantage, connecting with a desperate German suplex!

Lillehammer: The terrorist is using a Nazi move. Ronald Reagan would be rolling in his grave.

Bane sits up. He looks like he is fuming mad, and huffing heavily. His eyes are wide with a focused frenzy across his face. Jensen is down, face first on one side of the ring. Bane stands up, and looks over at his opponent, who is only now starting to stir. Bane goes over to the corner, watching Jensen carefully, gauging his movement. He clutches the ropes, and begins to pull at them, never taking his eyes off Jensen.

Lillehammer: This could be it!

Phoenix: The Final Kick! If he connects with this it could be over! Jensen shakes his head, and Bane charges at him!

As Bane runs, Jensen grabs the ring ropes and slides his body under the bottom rope. Bane connects with the turnbuckle and doesn’t see Jensen spring himself up to the top rope until it’s too late.

Phoenix: Blockbuster by Jensen! Bane is down! He avoided the final kick, but now Sean Jensen has got to be closing in on a victory. Will that give him what he needed to secure the pinfall?

Lillehammer: But he’s not going for it!

Phoenix: Jensen is going back up to the top rope!

Lillehammer: It looks like he wants to put an exclamation point on this one!

Phoenix: Sean Jensen going for the moonsault!

Jensen sails through the air, but lands hard on top of Bane’s knees. Jensen clutches his ribs as Bane gets to his feet once again.

Lillehammer: It seems like they both realized pretty early on that putting away the other would mean doing a lot of damage, all at once. They’ve both been able to get up there, but it would seem like neither man can stay in control for long enough to make the pinfall. I think this one is one or two big moves away from being over.

Phoenix: Bane lifts Jensen up, and plants him on the ground with a ragdoll suplex. To punctuate it, Bane wipes his feet over Jensen’s back.

Lillehammer: Remember, that’s the back that Bane already drove his knees into just a moment ago. You can bet Bane hasn’t forgotten it either. He’s gotta be planning something nastier than an expired matzo ball.

Phoenix: True to form, Bane drops a knee right into Jensen’s back. With one swift movement, he pulls Jensen up, and shoves him over into the corner. Bane connects with a flurry of palm strikes, and elbow smashes.

Bane grabs Jensen into a fireman’s carry. Lifting him up and over, he drops him back first on the top turnbuckle. Jensen is bent over the ring post. His feet dangle off the side, as he lay upside down over the top turnbuckle.

Phoenix: The pace of this match has changed drastically. Bane is in complete control now. Bane might have broken Sean Jensens back! Sean is scrambling to get some purchase here, he’s got some footing now, but Bane grabs him by the head, and stretches him out. Israeli Edge!

Sean crumples into a heap in the corner. Bane stands tall again, raising his hands. He looks down at Jensen, and a sinister smile crosses his face.

Lillehammer: Bane managed to get Sean exactly where he wants him, now all he needs to do is capitalize!

Phoenix: Bane is starting to back up. He missed the Final Kick last time, he could be going for it again.

Bane grabs the ropes again, and this already hot crowd is now on their feet. Sean is out cold, but Bane grips the ropes, as if he could launch himself across the ring at a moment’s notice. Sean starts to rise, getting to one elbow, and then two. Bane charges, but strikes the turnbuckle again. Jensen has rolled out of the ring the moment he saw Bane coming. Jensen rolls back in behind him, and as Bane turns to find him, connects with a Juice Box Kick!

Phoenix: Jensen LEVELS Uzzah, and now the momentum has swapped corners! Bane stumbles, trying to get to his feet, but Sean is there to meet him! Straightjacket DDT! Bane is down! Jensen covers but BANE JUST GETS THAT SHOULDER UP!

Lillehammer: Cheney as my witness, that must have been two and nine tenths!

Phoenix: I don’t think that’s lost on Jensen either, as Bane still looks out of it! The King of the Underdogs grabs Bane by the hand. Bane fires a wild elbow strike, but Jensen dodges it, and has him up! Concussion Inducer ’17!

“Catch Fire” by Periphery starts again Jensen sits up, clutching his ribs. The referee walks over to raise his hand. Sean has his hand raised as he looks over at Bane, on the floor, and nods.

Phoenix: That was as hard hitting a match as I’ve ever seen. I know pride was on the line for this one, but I think that’s a match both of them can be proud of. Jensen riding high with this PPV victory!

Jensen looks out to the crowd, and a smile crosses his face again, as he rolls out of the ring.

PA Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the LPW Hardcore Championship!

Lillehammer: Great. Garbage wrestling.

Phoenix: I thought you liked DGS.

Lillehammer: The reason I stomach it.

"Feel The Pain" by Dinosaur Jr.screams through the arena’s speakers bringing a joyous response to the entrance theme of Joe Citizen. The camera pans about looking for the masked wrestler.

Lillehammer: Where is the primadonna?

The camera scans quickly to catching Joe Citizen leap the rail.

Phoenix: There he is! Joe Citizen is on the biggest roll of his career. He’s a dangerous dangerous man. And he’s here to get at the menace that is David Gideon Smith.

Lillehammer: Nothing threatening about Citizen. He hides his face in a mask like a criminal, I hope the enjoys the pain he’s in for.

Phoenix: You’re in rare form tonight.

Lillehammer: I hate his rookie class...

The arena darkens to show white strobe lights and the tron for David Gideon Smith as The Enigma TNG’s "Black" plays.

Phoenix: He won the Deathcube lasting over a gaggle of wrestlers on the way to capturing the Hardcore Championship in Tokyo.

Lillehammer: That was a lovely evening. You think tonight will be any better?

Phoenix: I don’t see why not, why?

The music continues playing as the crowd starts to murmur.

Lillehammer: Really making us wait. His mind game level is top tier.

Phoenix: The ref as over here on a headset. Something’s up and I don’t know what it is.

Citizen starts looking about as if waiting for an attack from behind.

Lillehammer: The ref looks perplexed.

Phoenix: As with the rest of us.

The ref puts down the headset and walks back to the ring. A stage runner runs to the ring with a black bag.

Lillehammer: What is this? His new manager?

Phoenix: No. That’s Ralph. I met the young man earlier. What is he doing out here?

Once in the ring, the stagehand hands the bag to the ref. The ref goes over to PA Announcer to explain something to him. Citizen eyes grow furious after hearing something.

Lillehammer: Something pissed the-

PA Announcer: As told to me by the referee, David Gideon Smith has not made it to the area tonight. He did however leave his Championship with the LPW production crew when not at a show. Therefore, since he has failed to appear for this contest, it has been decided that the winner of the bout by forfeit, and your-

Citizen yanks the mic out of PA Announcer’s hands. He angrily takes the cloth bag from the ref.

Citizen: This isn't how I wanted to win this title!

He pulls the title out of the dark sack.

Citizen: But you have my word, I'll make it right. I will earn this!

"Feel The Pain" by Dinosaur Jr. plays as Citizen throws down the mic and leaves back through the crowd.

Lillehammer: I…

Phoenix: I don’t know either. This is a damn disgrace. DGS never cared about the championship and instead of facing a very very focused Joe Citizen, he skipped town. If I know anything about Citizen, those short words tonight are ones he meant and meant dearly.

The camera catches Citizen one last time before he heads into the concourse.

Phoenix: He's the new LPW Hardcore Champion, Joe Citizen! It feels good to say that. We'll be back!

The opening guitar riff to R.A.T.M.'s “Guerilla Radio” starts off as the audience erupts in cheers. The ring bell sounds as Bronx and Steven Thornridge walk their way onto the entrance. The duo begins their way to the front, with Bronx high-flying the fans on the way to the ring as Thornridge hands out hot dogs to the fans.

Phoenix: Will you look at this fan response! The crowd is absolutely ecstatic for The Professionals!

Lillehammer: Don't go and overstate the crowd support there, Phoenix. These fans wouldn't be standing if the “Aussie Crusader” wasn't giving out free hot dogs like the bleeding-heart socialist he is!

Phoenix: Oh I'm more that sure they're standing for more than just that! This team has been on an absolutely astonishing run as of late and seem poised to become the next LPW tag team champions!

Lillehammer: I'm not going to say that they don't deserve a little respect for what they've accomplished but they should really grow a pair and stop kissing up to these simple fans if they ever want to be respected by those whose opinions actually matter!
Phoenix: Well the opinions of the fans matter, and they're making it known that they're well behind The Professionals as they attempt to earn the championship here tonight!

The duo walks into the ring and continue waving to the fans as they take to their corner at the right side of the ring. Thornridge gets on the middle turnbuckle and throws the remaining hot dogs into the crowd.

Immediately afterward, their music cuts off as the opening vocal line to Freedom Call's “Warriors” takes over the arena – Pulsating power metal soon follows. Damien Blaze and Justus slowly step out onto the entrance ramp with the straps over their shoulders. Damien gives high-fives to the out-stretched arms on his side while Justus walks stoically towards the ring.

Phoenix: Here come the champions and I gotta tell ya, these two are showing far more focus towards the ring than I've seen them display in quite a long time.

Lillehammer: Do you see the hypocrisy of these fans here, Phoenix? The same ones who were cheering The Professionals are now cheering Damien Blaze and Justus! Absolutely sickening! I didn't know Phoenix was a liberal town!

Phoenix: I don't see the hypocrisy there, Robbie...

Lillehammer: It's Robert.

Phoenix: Just as well, the fans here are also recognizing the effort that these long-standing, long-reigning champions have displayed during the duration of their run.

Lillehammer: Look at their faces though, Phoenix. You can tell they are scared for their lives as they head to the ring!

Phoenix: Well overcoming The Professionals will not be an easy task for the duo. This will certainly be a test of their mettle to see if they can walk out of here as champions.

The duo walk into the ring and stand on the middle turnbuckles on the left side of the ring. The Professionals make no attempt to break up the entrance. Damien Blaze walks up from the neutral corner to the team's corner on the left side of the ring. The music cuts and the crowd quiets down.

Announcer: This next match is set for one fall and is for the LPW World Tag Team Championship! First, to my left, we have the challengers. At a total combined weight of 438 lbs, the team of Bronx and Steven Thornridge: The Professionals!

The audience cheers loudly for the duo.

Announcer: And to my right, at a total combined weight of 433 lbs, they are your LPW World Tag Team Champions: The team of Damien Blaze and Justus!

The audience cheers, though at a slightly lower volume.

But suddenly, LPW Owner Mikhail Nabakov appears on the PAIN-O-TRON.

The Kid: Whoa, woah, woah, woah! Hold on here! Now, with what just happened in regards to the Hardcore title, I feel compelled to try and make it up to the fans by giving them as much of the fast-paced action they came to see as I can. So, let's spice this thing up. This match will now be contested under LUCHA LIBRE RULES!!!

The members of both teams shrug but make no issue of it. The four of them make their way towards the center of the ring to shake hands before the contest.

Phoenix: Did you hear that? This match is going to be contested under lucha libre rules – The match will be two out of three falls and wrestlers can simply exit the ring to make a tag! And do you see this, Robert? All four of them are acting professional, no pun intended, and are showing great sportsmanship before doing combat in the ring!

Lillehammer: Yawn! How boring! Just get the love-fest over and start fighting already!

Phoenix: Well it looks like it's going to begin right now as Thornridge and Blaze will start this match off as the legal men… (bell sounds) and the match is underway! The two men square off at the center of the ring as it looks like Thornridge takes an early advantage with a few choice punches to the head!

Phoenix: And it looks like that may have been ill-fitting for him, as Blaze is now responding with a series of elbow strikes of his own! He's got Thornridge against the ropes and is going for an Irish whip!

Lillehammer: You know the Irish never complain about “cultural appropriation” with that move!

Phoenix: Just the same, we see that Blaze's attempt at a shoulder throw has been counter with a kick to the clavicle! Thornridge has picked up Blaze and executed a backbreaker! He's going for an elbow drop, but Blaze has moved out of the way and now responds with a diving fist drop!

Lillehammer: Quite the back and forth we're seeing here, Phoenix!

Phoenix: I'll most certainly say so, as Thornridge now gets back onto his feet and both men strike a fighting pose to the audience's delight! Listen to this pandemonium! It looks like that we're finally going to get a tie-up now, as the duo goes towards the ropes! Blaze whips Thornridge into the ropes and Thornridge ducks under Blaze's clothesline attempt, but Blaze follows him and clotheslines Thornridge to the outside!

Lillehammer: Blaze was very exuberant with that hit, he's following “Thorny” over the ropes, too!

Phoenix: This means that either Justus and Bronx enter the ring, or the referee will begin his count! That's part of lucha libre rules. The referee is motioning towards both corners... And both Bronx and Justus are going to take to the ring!

Lillehammer: I'm surprised that they have the testicular fortitude to actually enter the ring.

Phoenix: Here we go now, collar-and-elbow tie-up, Justus whips Bronx into the ropes and is going for a shoulder throw, but Bronx reverses and pulls off a headscissors takedown! Thornridge lays Blaze out with a neckbreaker on the outside and climbs back in the ring. It looks like Thornridge has picked Justus up and is set to help Bronx carry out the Super Cannon Def Sentence!

Lillehammer: It's too early for them to be pulling out the big moves!

Phoenix: It's an unorthodox strategy, but that's exactly what they're doing! Thornridge rolls back out to the ring to fight Blaze while Bronx is climbing up to the top rope... He's hit the Bronx Bomber! Bronx is now picking Justus up for A BRONX TALE ... AND THERE IT IS! He's going for the pin!

Referee: 1... 2... 3!

DING! DING!

Announcer: The winner of the first fall by pinfall, Bronx and Thornridge, The Professionals!

Phoenix: Blaze was entirely distracted by Thornridge and Bronx managed to capitalize with that absolutely scintillating flipping reverse DDT! The referee calls for the bell to start the second round! He's going to pin Justus again!

Referee: 1... 2...

Phoenix: And Blaze enters the ring to disrupt the fall! He's rolling Justus out of the ring so he can be the legal man! Such an adaptive move based on the rules of the match! Now Blaze picks up Bronx and starts hitting him with a series of rights. Bronx is against the ropes and Justus connects with a dropkick! Bronx flies over the ropes and out of the ring!

Lillehammer: Blaze is picking up some badly-needed momentum for his team here.

Phoenix He is, and with Bronx out of the ring, that means Thornridge can enter and he does! But Damien Blaze isn't losing any momentum here - He's landing a series of elbows here to the jaw and moving Thornridge into the corner!

Lillehammer: While the audience was focusing on Bronx's early pinfall, Blaze was working Thornridge over on the outside. Now's his chance to even the series!

Phoenix: Blaze just hit Thornridge in the jaw with a roundhouse! The Aussie Crusader is out on his feet but his arms are tied up against the turnbuckles! Blaze is picking Thornridge up and positioning him atop of the turnbuckles! They're going to the high rent district! Blaze has positioned Thornridge's head under his arm!

Lillehammer: For the love of Reagan, he's going to kill Thornridge with a...

Phoenix: SUPERPLEX! That was a sickening thud! His neck must be broken! Blaze is going for the pin!

Phoenix: Thornridge has become Novacain! He's rising! Blaze is hitting him in the face with elbows but it's no use! Thornridge picks Blaze up! Backbreaker! He's picking Blaze up again, another backbreaker! Thornridge is applying the West Texas Riot right in the middle of the ring! Blaze has nowhere to go!

Lillehammer: It looks like he's trying to crawl towards the ropes in a sense of desperation!

Phoenix: Well he's carried his weight in the match, we'll see if he has the energy left to grab the ropes! Thornridge is digging that knee into his back with all his might but it looks as if Blaze has managed to grab the ropes!

Referee: Alright, Thornridge, release the hold!

Lillehammer: There's no use negotiating with a madman, ref, he's going to break Blaze in half!

Phoenix: Thornridge isn't breaking the hold. The referee has no choice but to start counting for the disqualification!

Referee: 1... 2... 3... 4... 5! Ring the bell!

DING! DING! DING!

Announcer: The winner of the second fall by disqualification, Damien Blaze and Justus!

Phoenix: And with that there, the series is tied up! The referee is calling to start the third fall and “Novacain” still isn't releasing the hold. The ref has begun counting again!

Referee: 1... 2... 3...

Lillehammer: Look! Bronx just broke the hold from his own partner! He's as weak-willed as Sean Spicer!

Bronx: Thornridge! Dude... snap out of it! We ain't come this far to lose!

Phoenix: It looks like Bronx's words are working, Thornridge is starting to regain his composure. Though it looks like that Blaze has rolled out of the ring, but Justus is nowhere on the apron!

Lillehammer: He hasn't moved since the first fall! Knocked out of contention, just like Hillary in 2020!

Phoenix: The referee motions for Bronx to get back out of the ring and he does. The ref has no other choice but to start counting Blaze and Justus out! Under lucha rules, the wrestlers have up to 20 to re-enter the ring, but it's a faster count than what we're accustomed to under our regular rules. The referee is up to 5. Blaze is crawling over to Justus and trying to nudge him up – We're up to 10! It looks like Justus is starting to get up and is crawling to get back into the ring. The referee is almost to 15!

Referee: 15... 16... 17.. 18... 19...

Phoenix: Justus crawls back into the ring to break the count! But Thornridge is standing over him in wait and is ready to pounce! He's picked him up and executed a fireman's carry neckbreaker! Justus is down for the count and we have Thornridge climbing up to the top of the turnbuckles! It looks like we're going to see The Butterfly Effect!

Lillehammer: And here comes Bronx running through the ring – He just jumped over the top rope and hit Blaze with a suicide senton!

Phoenix: And THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT connects in the ring! Thornridge is going for the pinfall!

Referee: 1... 2... 3!

DING DING DING!

Announcer: The winner of the third fall by pinfall... And NEW LPW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... Bronx and Thornridge, The Professionals!

Phoenix: That was an incredible finish to an incredible match! The fans are electric over the fact that we now have new LPW Tag Team Champions!

Lillehammer: Oh boy, I'm sure that these useful idiots in the audience will continue to cheer for these fetid twerps until the next flash-in-the-pan team shows up!

Phoenix: Oh I don't think this is a flash-in-the-pan there, Robert, this is going to be a team that will define the LPW's tag division for a long time!

The referee hands both belts to Thornridge as he stands, exhausted, in the middle of the ring. A blank look is on his face for a moment, then, seemingly realizing his and Bronx's accomplishment, a smile breaks across his face. He stumbles to the ropes where he passes Bronx his championship through the ropes. As Bronx receives the reward for his hard work, the lights go out.

Phoenix: What the hell?

Lillehammer: Which one of you idiots forgot to pay the electric bill?

When the lights come back on, two men are in the ring with Thornridge.

Phoenix: Who is this?!?

Lillehammer: They... They look familiar.

Thornridge charges the man on the right, who lifts him quickly into a flapjack, dropping him face first onto a superkick from the second man.

Lillehammer: I'd know that kick anywhere. It's Sixx King!

Phoenix: And is that... [b]Steve Storme[/i]?!?

Lillehammer: It is! I thought that street dog Al had left him to rot in that Michigan prison!

Bronx, realizing what is happening, hits the ring.

Lillehammer: Bronx is going after Sixx!

Phoenix: Storme cuts him off with a vicious lariat! He has him up!

Bronx, dazed, is short-armed into another flapjack lift, where the waiting Sixx delivers his patented Superkick to the jaw.

Lillehammer: Another Flapjack Superkick! Absolutely devastating!!

Sixx and Storme survey their handiwork to a cacophony of boos, both sneering as they eye the tag team titles on the mat. The twosome each grab a title -- not unfamiliar to either man -- eyeing them before dismissively dropping the belts on the downed champions. From there, they take their leave.

Phoenix: Two of the most dastardly individuals in LPW history have returned here at All-Stars, and I think the message is quite clear! Disgusting!

Lillehammer: They are also two of the most decorated, Phoenix! And it appears it’s only a matter of time before they add to their trophy case!!

Storme reveals his infamous fork and brandishes it at LPW’s intrepid correspondent.

Storme: Get the fuck out of here, bitch.

Sixx: I think that’s your cue, sweetheart. The game has changed.

Sixx sneers confidently as Storme, who has placed the fork between his teeth, casts an ill look toward Rose, causing her to back away rather quickly. The men turn away to depart.

Phoenix: Well shifting gears, up next, the Deepnet champion, Obsidian puts his belt on the line against Chris Paradise.

“You’re the Best Around” by Joe Esposito starts to play across the speakers as Chris Paradise makes his way down to the ring, followed by his faithful caretaker, Enyo.

Lillehammer: Paradise as always has a big grin on his face. He looks mighty confident headed into this challenge for the Deepnet title.

Phoenix: Indeed he does, but I might be confident too, if I had Enyo in my corner.

Announcer: The following match is for the Deepnet championship. The title may only change hands via knockout or submission! Introducing first, the challenger, accompanied by Enyo. From Buffalo, New York. Weighing in at 215 pounds. “The Crippled Crusader” Chris Paradise!

Paradise hobbles to the ring with his cane, and rolls into the ring. A chorus of boos follow the crippled crusader as he climbs the turnbuckle, and gives the raucous crowd his thumbs up, despite their disapproval. The lights start to dim as “Stabbing the Drama” by Soilwork starts to play across the speakers, as Obsidian walks out to the stage. He raises the Serpentus staff, before letting out a massive war cry. Obsidian makes his way down the ramp, followed by Serpentus, who holds the Deepnet Championship in his hands.

Announcer: Introducing the champion, weighing in at 333 pounds, from parts unknown, he is Obsidian!

Serpentus holds the championship up high for all to see as Obsidian climbs the rope, and with one massive step, walks over the top rope. He stares into the camera, before turning his attention to Paradise.

Phoenix: To his credit, Paradise, looks ready for action.

Lillehammer: Is it confidence, or is he just stupid?

Phoenix: I’m sure we’ll find out in time. For now though, Paradise has quite an uphill battle ahead of him. Obsidian has proven to be a dominant champion, and has an obvious size advantage over The Crippled Crusader.

Lillehammer: Let’s keep in mind, Paradise is also something of a submission specialist. He’ll have to use every trick in his playbook tonight to get the job done.

Phoenix: Again the Deepnet title can only change hands through submission or knockout.
The bell rings, and the match begins, with both men circling the ring. Obsidian makes the first connection, with the two men locking up, but Paradise slips behind, going for a full nelson.

Lillehammer: It looks like he changed his mind now, he’s going from the full nelson, into a hammerlock. Obsidian sweeps the leg however, but Paradise manages to maintain the hold, and as the two men tumble to the ground, Paradise finds his footing first, and holds Obsidian in an armbar.

Phoenix: This is crucial strategy for Paradise. He’s got to wear down the body parts to go for that submission. Paradise wraps his legs around the shoulders, a Fujiwara armbar. If Obsidian were a weaker man, Paradise might actually be able to snap his elbow.

Lillehammer: What’s interesting is because of the Deepnet rules, Paradise can actually keep his shoulders on the mat, he doesn’t have to worry about being counted for a pinfall. That’s going to give him more leverage, which of course he’s going to need to maximize if he hopes to beat Obsidian here.

With his massive frame, Obsidian is able to sit up, and keep the pressure on Paradise. He manages to roll over to his stomach, as Paradise keeps the hold locked in. Obsidian is able to rise to a knee, and slips his arm out, while pinning Paradise on the mat with his upper body. He locks Paradises legs between one another, and pulls them up as high as he can.

Phoenix: Paradise’s lower body is on the mat, but his legs are entirely off the ground right now. Paradise reaches back, and it looks like Paradise’s only hope is to make his way to the bottom rope. He stretches out, and connects. The referee instructs Obsidian to break the hold. Obsidian now back on his feet, backs away.

Lillehammer: Paradise on his feet too now, Obsidian grabs him by the head, and forces him into the corner.

Phoenix: This right here is exactly why Obsidian has been so successful so far. He’s got Paradise in the corner, and has begun to strike him over and over with shoulder thrusts.

As Obsidian leans back for another shoulder thrust, Paradise ducks under, slides his body behind Obsidians legs, and delivers a drop kick to the back of his shin. Obsidian goes down to a knee, clutching at his leg. Paradise comes back strong with another drop kick to the back of the head, driving Obsidian’s head into the middle turnbuckle.

Lillehammer: Paradise has the advantage now, if he had any sense, he’d try to capitalize by locking in a submission.

Phoenix: Well it looks like he does indeed have some sense, because he’s got Obsidian by the arm, and has locked in a crossface!

Paradise moves him further away from the ropes, but Obsidian slowly tries to drag himself right back to the ropes. Just as Obsidian is right about to touch the rope, Paradise pulls himself back and drags Obsidian with him, the two men roll over top of each other, but land back in the crossface, on the opposite side of the ring.

Lillehammer: He’s going to do it! Obsidian is going to have to tap!

Once again, Obsidian reaches over for the bottom rope. Paradise fights with all his might to stop him from reaching the rope, but Obsidian stretches out his hand, and manages to connect. The referee instructs Paradise to break the hold. Paradise doesn’t break it, but instead keeps it locked in. The referee starts his count, and Paradise keeps the hold locked in until 4, before breaking it.

Lillehammer: The frustration is starting to mount on the face of the Crippled Crusader.

Phoenix: Paradise pounding the mat in frustration. He rolls out of the ring. What’s he doing here?

Paradise has rolled out of the ring. He grabs onto Obsidians arm from inside the ring, and slams it hard against the ring post.

Lillehammer: That’s using all parts of the ring! Paradise has really shown that killer instinct that he needs to win!

Lillehammer: Who can tell what that nut job is thinking!? Obsidian might not even know where he is right now, the man is an absolute lunatic.

Phoenix: I don’t think you win the Deepnet championship without having some sense. Obsidian knows exactly what he’s doing.

Lillehammer: Paradise is back in the ring now, he’s looking for an armbreaker again!

Paradise goes for the arm breaker while Obsidian is struggling to get to his feet. As Paradise grabs him by the arm, Obsidian shoves him away with a mighty thrust. Obsidian cries out in pain as he pushes Paradise away. Paradise lands across the ring, and pulls himself into the corner, but Obsidian goes back down to one knee, clutching his arm.

Lillehammer: Obsidian may have just won the battle, but lost the war. He’s left himself wide open to submission. He might be ready to tap.

Phoenix: What in the world!?

Enyo stands on the other side of the ring, holding a chair. She climbs the apron, but the referee attempts to stop her from entering the ring. Now Lord Serpentus is after her, trying to get her down too, yelling at her.

With the referee distracted by Enyo, Paradise reaches down to the corner, and pulls up his metal crutch, which had been leaning against the ring post. He lifts it high, and then using it like a kendo stick, smashes it into Obsidians arm. He pulls back, and smashes him again. The referee misses this interaction, but Serpentus is screaming at the ref about it as Enyo climbs off the ring apron, Paradise chucks the crutch back out of the ring, as the referee refocuses on the match.

Phoenix: Paradise mounts Obsidian, and wraps his arms around the arm of his opponent.

Obsidian turns his face to meet Paradises, and slowly shakes his head from side to side. The anger on the face of Obsidian is unmistakable.

Phoenix: Did you see that? Absolutely frightening.

Lillehammer: Doesn’t matter how scary Obsidian looks, he’s fading fast, and even if he won’t tap, the referee might stop this one on his behalf.

Phoenix: Obsidian reaches out for the ropes, but Paradise maintains the armbar with his hands, but instead is now able to slide his knee over the throat of Obsidian.

Lillehammer: Obsidian isn’t the only one who looks angry. Look at Paradise.

Paradise is screaming at Obsidian, his eyes bulging wide. He screams at Obsidian to tap. His eyes grow wider as, with his free hand, Obsidian wraps his hand around the neck of Chris Paradise. Paradise flails, and tries to break the grip of the giant. With the armbar released, Obsidian, picks up Paradise with both hands.

Phoenix: Look at Obsidian! He’s shrugging off that pain, as if it were nothing! As soon as Obsidian tries to stand however, his arm twitches, and he drops Paradise. Paradise lands on his feet, and tries to connect with a kick again. Obsidian gets his good hand up to block the blows.

Lillehammer: I think you spoke too soon there! Paradise has smartly neutralized a lot of the offense that Obsidian might have sought to use.

Paradise stands in front of Obsidian, taunting him. He screams in the face of his opponent.

Paradise: Just. Give. Up!

As he finishes his sentence, Obsidian launches at him with a massive headbut that knocks Paradise backward. Paradise tumbles backward over his own body. Enyo gets back onto the apron with a chair in her hands again. This time Serpentus gets up onto the apron too. He pulls back the top rope, and Enyo lands back down in the area below. Serpentus grabs the chair that she had, and throws it under the ring. Obsidian lifts Paradise up, and tosses him back-first into the turnbuckle. Paradise moves forward, right into a massive spinebuster from his opponent. Paradise struggles to get back to his feet, as the giant stands over him.

Phoenix: The tide has changed here, and changed in a hurry!

Lillehammer: All it will take is one good submission from Paradise to end this one. Can he pull it off!?

Phoenix: I’m not a betting man, but I would suspect the odds say no. Obsidian is back in control. The giant is clutching his arm, but he’s the dominant force right now.

Lillehammer: Paradise looks to get back to his feet, using the corner to help him up, but Obsidian lifts him up, onto the top turnbuckle.

Phoenix: Now Obsidian is up on the top rope with him! It’s a Superplex! Both men fall back first on the canvas!

Lillehammer: It’s Obsidian up to his feet first though! Serpentus is screaming at him, it’s time for the Serpentus Stretch!

Phoenix: Obsidian locks in the Serpentus stretch in the middle of the ring. Paradise has nowhere to go, he can’t reach for the ropes, and his feet won’t stretch. Enyo is down too! He’s going to tap!

Paradise writhes in pain, his face in agony, as he finally taps out to the Serpentus stretch.

Announcer: The winner of the match, and STILL your Deepnet Champion, Obsidian!

Lord Serpentus joins Obsidian in the ring, as “Stabbing the Drama” by Soilwork plays triumphantly over the speakers. Serpentes throws the title over his shoulder. Obsidian raises his good hand, as he stands over Paradise, looking down.

Lillehammer: What a close match! So many times we thought Paradise had it.

Phoenix: It certainly looked that way. Paradise gave it everything he had, but what’s frightening to think about is what it’s going to take to stop The Cabal.

Serpentus raises the Deepnet title, and Obsidian raises the Serpentus staff, as we take one last look at the ring.

Phoenix: IT IS TIME! The culmination of what hasn’t been the longest of feuds, wasn’t between two long-time nemesis’, but has been brutal and violent and hate-filled throughout.

Lillehammer: Both these dudes… They’re almost the antithesis of one another. And despite a decade together in the federation… this is the first time they’ve crossed paths.

Phoenix: And to top it off, it’s for the International Heavyweight Championship. The top prize in this game.

Lillehammer: And that history, or lack of it, has meant that there’s no love loss between these two. Pure hatred. Pure aggression. And nobody on the better side of right or wrong. Just two fighters who want the same thing.

Just then, the iconic opening of ”The New Shit” by Marilyn Manson hits and the crowd revolts into a cascade of boos. Bobino, stepping towards the biggest match of his life, looks focused. He ignores the boos, furls his brow, and swiftly walks towards the ring.

Phoenix: You’ve stepped into big matches, Robert. I’ve had my fair share. But I don’t think anyone can imagine what is going on in the mind of Bobino.

Lillehammer: He’s a man on a mission. He’s got a plan and he’s about to execute it.

Phoenix: Bobino is a fierce competitor. He’s a man who goes into match with an idea of how to beat his opponent.

Lillehammer: As a great man once said… everyone has a plan… until they get punched in the mouth.

Bobino is in the ring now. He raises a fist in the air, standing upon the second rope. His music stops, the crowd murmurs, the lights dim.

bunches and bunches…
punches is thrown until ya’ frontless

From the back emerges Al, billows of clear white smoke lingering around his black slacked legs. A white towel hangs from his neck, his IHC strapped firm in the place we’ve all come to expect it - around his waist.

...proved that we was fucking brutal
I’m talkin’ crazy, half past the clock is cuckoo

Phoenix: And there he is! The longest reigning International Heavyweight Champion in history. The crowd here in Phoenix, Arizona greet the man with raucous applause. Certainly due to the vicious attack he suffered on behalf of the man waiting for him in the ring.

Lillehammer: And he’s still showing the effect of that attack. Facial bruises still piercing through in red and purple hues. And when he takes off that belt, I promise you his ribs will be wrapped with tape. And that’ll be Bobino’s target tonight.

Al slowly walks down the aisle in not quite a limp. But clearly, each step brings with it the pain of ten thousand needles. He mouths the words of his theme song, saying “I do the dirty work, do the deed and then dash, ditch ‘em.”

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen this match is scheduled for one fall! And is for the International Heavyweight Championship. The challenger, from Boston, Massach-

Phoenix: OH! AL BUMRUSHES BOBINO AND TAKES THE OFFENSIVE! Bob is caught off guard! Both men tumble to the ground and Al rains down lefts and rights! Bobino attempts to cover himself but Al just crashes forearm smashes into his skull!

Lillehammer: Desperation! Al knows he has an uphill climb! The little cheat is trying to even the playing field through dastardly methods!

Phoenix: Al has been insulted, attacked, and hospitalized by Bobino! This is justified, partner! Al now being accosted by the ref! The Champion smashes the face of his challenger a few more times! He lays off Bobino and DING DING DING this match has officially began.

Al lets up, shouting down at Bobino, who rolls over and gets to his hands and knees. Al gets a running start and winds up his leg…

Lillehammer: THIS THUG RIGHT HERE!

Phoenix: Al unloads with a big kick to the side of the challenger! This crowd is loving it!

Lillehammer: They’re all idiots!

Phoenix: Al keeps on his threat. He lifts Bob up, the whole time smattering him with insults.

Al: Put ME in the Hospital?

Phoenix: Al sends a closed fist to Bob’s forehead, he stumbles backwards into the turnbuckle.

Al: Take MY Title!?

Phoenix: He lifts Bob off the ropes, who stands dazed! Al bounces off the ropes for that discus forearm!

Al: Nu-uh Mother Fu-

Phoenix: FAREWELL TO AR-

Lillehammer: HEADBUTT BY BOBINO!!!!!

Phoenix: Al stammers backwards! Bobino has shook it off! The Champion seems dazed! Bobino rushes towards the Champion and LARIAT! Al falls to the mat, but Bobino is ready for him, another! Al crashes hard to the ground, but rolls over and gets to his feet!

Lillehammer: Both seem to want to push the tempo!

Phoenix: Al swings wildly! Bobino ducks under, Al does a full 360 and Bobino grapples and SINGLE UNDERHOOK DDT!!!!!

Lillehammer: AL LOOKS LIKE A DAMN LAWNDART! Al lands right on his forehead and his body crumbled like a car crashing into a brick wall.

Phoenix: That was VICIOUS! Bobino pins! One, two, th-NO! Kickout from the Champion!

Lillehammer: Bob couldn’t have thought that was going to be the end, but it’s a good way to make the Champion spend some of his already limited energy.

Phoenix: Bobino jaws something at the referee, who assures him it was indeed a two count. Al is facedown on the mat and and and MY GOD! The blood spurts from his forehead and onto the mat! We’re not even five minutes into this match and Al has donned a crimson mask!

Phoenix: Al swings and Bob evades! The momentum turns Al, and Bob sends a straight forearm to the back of the Champions head! The referee admonishes the challenger, but Bob rolls his eyes and grapples Al from behind! German Suplex

Lillehammer: A rainbow of plasma cascades and splatters the ring mat!

Phoenix: The referee checks on Al, pulling gloves from his back pocket, he wipes blood from the eyes of the Champion.

Lillehammer: That’s not fair!

Phoenix: The man can’t see!

Lillehammer: And??? Bobino made that happen. It’s not part of his competitive advantage!

Phoenix: Bobino seems to agree with you, however, as he’s grabs the wrist of the referee and pushes him away. The challenger grabs Al by his ear and lifts him, the blood dripping from the chin of the Champ. Al stands dazed.

Bobino runs off the ropes, gains a head of steam and…

Phoenix: BIG BOOT SENDS AL SLIPPING TO THE OUTSIDE!!!!

Lillehammer: Al has nothing in the way of defense. This one is close to being done whenever Bob feels like putting it away.

Phoenix: He’ll have to get Al back in the ring first. As of now, Bobino is… no… Bobino is going to the top rope! Al on the outside, getting to his feet… Bob to the top, this capacity crowd all stand in unison! He jumps!

Chaos: #1 STUNNA ONTO THE GUARDRAIL!!!!!! Bobino crushes next first, flops backwards, and holds his neck while gasping for air!

Lillehammer: Someone perform an emergency tracheotomy!

Phoenix: Al lets out a mighty scream and goes back on the offense, his face still covered in blood! He lifts Bob off the concrete and whips him onto the corner railing! Bobino crashes back first, arms extended.

Lillehammer: There’s padding there, obviously, but it’s thin as a meth’d out street hooker and underneath is pure steel.

Phoenix: Al slowly walks towards Bob, who stands gasping for air, still clutching at his neck.

Lillehammer: And look at these ingrates. Al clamoring for a man who thinks they’re all peasants, thinks he’s above them all.

Phoenix: Al has said a lot of things about the LPW fan base, but it can’t be argued that he’s grown up, sacrificed, and continues, even right now, to fight and bleed for the LPW flag. They recognize that!

Al high fives some fans as he jumps the guardrail. A fan hands him a few napkins and Al wipes away the blood from his face. Not doing the trick, he grabs a bottle of water from a young lady and douses his face with it, gasping as the pink water drops from his face to the mat, splattering a few shoes and shirts along the way.

Lillehammer: Disgusting!

Phoenix: And Al turns his attention back to Bob, who slumps against the guardrail still! The Champion, OH GOD! Locks in a rear naked choke, and Bob’s eyes bulge from their sockets! Al is irate here! The referee breaks his ten count and heads to the outside, pleading with Al to let go!

Al: C’mon ya’ll, help me out!

Phoenix: The fans in the front row grab ahold of Al’s shoulders and mid-section and pull back, providing more torque for the Champion! Bobino is beat red, his feet damn near dangling off the ground!

Ref: AL BREAK THE HOLD, DAMNIT! ONE!

Lillehammer: This is cheating! This…

Ref: TWO!

Lillehammer: Interference, right?

Three!

Phoenix: They aren’t touching Bob! And Al has until five to break the hold…

Four!:

Phoenix: And he does just that, releasing the hold and high fiving those around him as Bobino crashes back knees first to the outside.

Lillehammer: Where are the damn PERCs when you need them?

Phoenix: That’s a great point, partner. Think about the last time we were in this town. The awful events that occurred. And now juxtapose that with a beautiful moment like what we just saw. Unreal.

Bobino crawls towards the ring, rolling in before Al or the ref, who screams at Al to get in their with him. Bobino waits, propping himself up on all fours, groggy and trying to balance with his hands planted on the canvas. Al rolls in.

Phoenix: Bobino playing possum! He goes to clothesline Al, but the Champion ducks under! Al off the ropes, FLYING SHOULDER BLOCK! Both men down, but both men right back up! Al’s left hand connects, but so does Bob’s right. Left! Right! Left! Right! This crowd is at a fever pitch! Bobino! RIGHT! RIGHT! RI-NO! Al goes under, off the ropes… HIT STICK!!!!!!!

AND THE PIN!

ONE!

TWO!

THR-KICKOUT!!!!

Lillehammer: Oh, thank Reagan!

Phoenix: Al and everyone else in this arena really did think that was it! The Champion rolls off Bob, back to the mat, and his stomach rises and falls in quick succession. Both men utterly exhausted. This match has been non-stop energy and this feud has had to have been emotionally and physically draining.

Lillehammer: No excuses now. The man who wins is the man who survives.

Phoenix: You’re right there, Robert. The referee begins his count. Both men still looking at the lights.

One!

Two!

Three!

Four!

Phoenix: Al is the first to start stirring, but Bobino isn’t far behind.

Five!

Lillehammer: This is it! The turning point! Al used all his energy on that wave.

Six!

Phoenix: Bobino up to a knee. Al as well. Both men still gasping for air.

Seven!

Eigh-

Phoenix: And they’re up! Collar and elbow tie up, we’re back to square one. Bobino gets the upper hand! He gets behind Al, German Su-No! Al clenches, lowers his weight and softens Bob’s grip. Al gets in a wrist lock, steps to the side and twists his arm. Bob slaps his shoulder blade, flips forward and reverses the wristlock! Al now in pain! Bobino reaches back for a punch, Al slaps the grip, breaking them free! Bobino cocks back, throws another wild one, Al catches it, turns under with a grip locked, slaps the shoulder of Bob to get him off balance and RUNS UP THE TURNBUCKLE!! TWISTING TORNADO DDT!

Lillehammer: What a sequence! Bob bounces off the mat, rolls through, and stands back up, leaning against the opposite turnbuckle.

Phoenix: Al flips over onto his gut. Bobino mounts him, sending forearms to the back of the Champion’s head, which bounces face first off the mat.

Lillehammer: That’s it! Keep up the pressure! Give no quarter.

Bobino stops his punishment and lifts the head of Al, grabbing a fistful of his short hair. As the Martinez Cup winners head is lifted, it’s revealed that Bob has re-opened that cut. Blood spews anew from his forehead. Acting quickly, Bob smiles and lifts Al to a standing position quickly, accurately, and with a sheer show of strength.

Phoenix: Bobino showing his quickness. He gets a grip on Al and Pumphandle Neckbreaker! The back of Al’s head cracks off Bob’s knee! But the challenger doesn’t let up! Al stops in a seated position, Bob grabs one arm and Half Nelson Suplex! Al crashes to the mat flat on his back! Bobino still going!

Lillehammer: He’s an unstoppable force!

Phoenix: RUNNING SENTON! THE PIN! ONE! TWO! WE HAVE A NEW-NO! KICK OUT!

Lillehammer: Bobino is beside himself!

With his eyes narrows and his fists clenched, Bob grits his teeth and screams at the referee utter jiberish. He looks towards Al bewildered and knows what he has to do.

Phoenix: Bob forces Al to his feet. The Champion is barely there. Unable to fight back.

Lillehammer: It’s only a matter of time. Al is shown a Champion’s spirit… but Bob just has more in the tank!

Phoenix: And he’s looking to end the journey here. The long road he’s taken for this chance… and Bob sees his destination right there on the horizon. He throws Al into the corner and gets behind him. Here it comes! Bob’s version of the Diamond Dust. He gets behind Al, seated on the top turnbuckle, the grip is locked in! Oh… no! NO!

Lillehammer: He’s taking him up!

Phoenix: Bobino stands and drags Al to the second rope. Bob transitions from the second to the third rope. Looking for a Super Darwinism! Bob has shaky knees! And…

Lillehammer: Here it comes!

Phoenix: Bobino puts a finger in the air and-- NO! Al fights back! He sends left hand to the skull of Bobino, who still doesn’t break the hold! And another! Another! Bob sits on the top rope and breaks his grip around Al’s neck.

The Champion twists his body. He faces Bobino now. Al sends in a right hand and Bobino staggers, still gripping the top turnbuckle with his clenched fist. Both men teeter on the brink of destruction. Bobino rears back and send a thudding head butt to the crown of Al, who loses one hand’s grip and barely keeps his fingers clenching on the other!

Phoenix: My God! The absolute drama of it all!! Bobino grabs Al’s head. He looks him straight in the eyes!

Bobino: It's… fucking… my… time!

Lillehammer: Finish this!

Phoenix: Bobino lays a few more shots to the skull of Al! Bob teeters in a seated position on that top rope! Al slumped against him. The Challenger is trying to turn his opponent… and he does!

Lillehammer: Diamond Dust Position!!!

Phoenix: Bobino has it clinched in! He jumps and… AL GRIPS THE ROPES! [b]BOB DOES A FULL FLIP, LANDING ON HIS FEET!!!

Lillehammer: The athleticism! Bobino, slight pain in his knees as he lands, turns on a dime, sprints back towards Al!

The Champion is left standing on the second rope. Bobino charges the turnbuckle. Al hurdles himself toward the running Bobino…

Chaos:SUPER HIT STICK OFF THE SECOND ROPE!!!! BOTH MEN CRASH TO THE CANVAS IN AN IMPACT THAT SENDS THE REFEREE JUMPING FROM THE MAT!

Lillehammer: The only question now is whether Al can take advantage! He's slow to stir, but Bob is absolutely motionless.

Al slowly, but surely, crawls the few inches of space he needs to make the cover. The camera slowly zooms into his fist, which dramatically clenches air, shaking, taking in the energy of the audience who all scream for him to close the gap.

Phoenix: Al rolls off, the referee calling for the title and readying himself to present it to the Champion. Bobino lays on his back, his hands raise and grasp his face, covering his visage as he shakes his head back and forth.

Lillehammer: Can’t imagine what Bob is feeling. He gave everything to this match, this feud. He waited a decade for this shot and… it’s… just gone.

Phoenix: Bob has nothing to be ashamed of, partner.

Lillehammer: I’m not saying he does. I’m saying… Look, I couldn’t last but a few years in this business. Bobino’s longevity, constant ability to reinvent himself… it’s admirable. That’s all.

Phoenix: Couldn’t be more right.

The crowd cheers for both men as they begin to get to their feet. The ref hands Al the IHC Title Belt and he grasps it closely, holding it against his chest like the Prodigal Son. Bobino has dragged himself to the corner turnbuckle, sitting against the bottom rung with his legs spread out in front of him. He’s still shaking his head, taking off all of his accessories, loosening his boots.

Phoenix: The Champion looks towards his challenger. He transitions the Championship from his chest to his shoulder. He reaches out a hand to Bobino who looks up with burning, piercing eyes.

Lillehammer: Give me a GD break. Al needs to know when to let well enough alone. Bobino doesn’t want sportsmanship right now. He wants-I’ll be damned.

Phoenix: Bobino accepts the hand and this crowd loves it! Al raises Bobino’s hand and the crowd gives an appreciative clap for the effort these two just put in to entertain them. LPW is the pinnacle of Sports Entertainment and as much as we love the drama and intrigue that comes from the tangle of these men's life… we also appreciate when they respect eachothers abi-BOBINO LIFTS AL UP! NO! NO! DON’T DO TH-FIRE THUNDER DRIVER!!!!!!! MY GOD!!

Lillehammer: YES! BOBINO JUST BROKE AL IN HALF!

Phoenix: He ruined a beautiful moment and might’ve just seriously injured our Champion! Bobino stands above Al, screaming and enraged and spouting venom! He goes to the outside and grabs a steel chair and this crowd has gone from joy to absolute disgust.

Lillehammer: Bobino is going to make Al pay for taking this shot from him!

Phoenix: He beat him fair and square! Bob back in the ring now, stalking Al who only now begins to stir.

From the back come a half dozen referees, all converging upon the ring and pleading with Bobino to stop.

Lillehammer: There isn’t any pleading with a man when he has that look in his eyes. The only way he’s going to be taken out of here is if somebody puts him down.

Phoenix: And Bob is now swinging the chair towards the referees! He’s a madman!

From the top of the ramp new LPW owner “The Kid” Mikhail Nabakov walks out, his hands on his head, gripping his hair tight.

Al is on his knees, looking up with his eyes closed, absolutely exhausted. He bows his head and lowers himself to hands and knees.

The Kid: Bobino. Do NOT hit him. I’m sorry you lost. But please. Let’s show a little honor in def-

With that, Bobino turns, raising the chair over his head. Just when he’s about to crush Al’s head, he’s rushed by security. The camera fades to black as Bobino is shown, still irate, being carried out by security and referees up the ramp, pass the onlooking Nabakov who just shakes his head, jaw open and hair tussled.

PA Announcer: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is a title unification match!

The slow chords of Joe Walsh's “Turn To Stone” hit the speakers. The rowdy crowd erupts to greet the Western States Heritage Champion Mourn Despana on stage with his wife Kassandra flanked to his right. She places a hand on his shoulder as they looks out to the fans. He pounds his chest, nods to Kassie, then leads her slowly down the aisle.

Phoenix: Five years ago, Gabriel Jimenez walked through the doors of LPW and crafted the persona of Mourn Despana. Gabriel Jimenez is the man here tonight. He’s a wronged man fighting for the honor of his wife. He comes here tonight with his eyes set on retribution. His eyes set on being World Heavyweight Champion!

Lillehammer: If he’s only after blood, it will cloud his judgement.

Phoenix: I know few men who would keep a cool head after what Golden did.

Once on the apron, Mourn opens the ropes for Kassandra and steps inside. After he pumps his fist to the crowd the couple turn to the aisle way. The Ronin’s eyes seething while Kassandra’s face stays stoic.

Lillehammer: I am surprised Mourn is standing by his wife, but I guess to each their own.

Once the music is cut, the chats of “DES-PA-NA” are heard in the silence. Chants that are interrupted by "The Devil Takes Care of His Own" by Band of Skulls. This immediately flips the crowd as deafening boos greet The World Heavyweight Champion Golden.

Lillehammer: Go ahead. Gush over him like you did with Mourn.

Phoenix: This man… Almost six years ago, Golden walked into LPW as a bright eyed rookie. He wasn’t a nice man. He definitely wasn’t couth.

Lillehammer: Just like Mourn. And you sing his praises.

Phoenix: Mourn never went to these lengths to get to a man. This match that should only be about who is better. Golden is a talented man. One of the best. He didn’t need to go this route.

Lillehammer: It still is about who is better. Gotta look for an edge wherever you can. Just like trash talk, you do whatever it takes to get into a man’s head. Now, I am not saying he should have done “that,” but I can see the logic behind getting into the head of The Desperado. I would.

Golden steps up onto the apron and smiles towards Kassandra. She places herself between them. Mourn this causes Mourn’s eyes to dart to her.

Kassandra: Wait for the fuckin’ bell!

Golden: Yeah. Listen to your lovely wife, Gabe!

Mourn’s eyes burn a hole through Golden.

Kassandra: Mourn!

Phoenix: Mourn’s reluctantly backing up.

Lillehammer: Yeah. Mainly because he’d have to go through the wife and well... You don’t go through the wife.

DING DING

PA Announcer: The following contest is the main event of the evening! The winner will leave here tonight as the LPW World Heavyweight Champion! Introducing first, the competitor to my left. Accompanied by his wife Kassandra. He comes here tonight from Seattle Washington. Weighing in at 245lbs. He is the current LPW Western States Heritage Champion. Ladies and gentlemen I give you, THE DESPERADO! MOURN! DEEESSPAAANAAA!

The crowd’s loud ovation causes Mourn to break focus for a brief moment and pump his fist to them in response. Golden gets the attention of the ring announcer and hands him a cue card.

Lillehammer: No surprise that Mourn has the crowd behind him.

Announcer: And his opponent to my right. He comes to us from Galway, Ireland. Weighing in at 214 lbs. He is a former award-winning tag team champion. A former Pure Champion. Former Rookie of The Year and Trash Talk king. A legend in our time! He is the current reigning and defending LPW World Heavyweight Champion! Ladies and gentlemen I introduce to you, THE MAN WITH THE MIDAS TOUCH! GOOOOOOOOOOOOLDEEEN!

Intense boos respond to the announcement of the World Heavyweight Champion. Golden smiles proudly at the crowd. The ref goes to Mourn, who kisses the Western States Heritage Championship before handing it to the ref. Golden is quick to hand the ref his belt. No pageantry, just a cocky smirk to his opponent. He winks at Kassandra who continues to stand between the two men. She returns the wink with a devilish smirk.

Lillehammer: At least she’s calmer than the last crazy one he was with. But I don’t trust that smile.

Mourn keeps his back turned. He kneels and a prays in the corner as Kassandra places a hand on his shoulder to silently join in..

Golden: God’s not gonna save you!

Phoenix: Kassandra's heading out of the ring. This place is electric The title unification match looks to be ready to get under away…

DING! DING!

Phoenix: Bell rings, AND MOURN DARTS ACROSS THE RING! Golden sprawling trying to stay away as Mourn goes for a double leg takedown! Golden off the ropes, Mourn misses a clothesline, Golden with the go behind, pushes Mourn against the ropes, O’Connor Roll! 1! Mourn kicks out, Golden off the ropes, drop down by Mourn.

As Golden bounces of the ropes, Mourn crisscrosses.

Phoenix: Misdirection! NORTHWEST LARIAT TAKES GOLDEN OFF HIS FEET! Golden rolls quickly out of the ring! That shot is causing Golden to regroup! Ref starts a slow, deliberate count.

Golden waves Mourn back as he strolls around outside the ring rubbing his neck.

Lillehammer: Golden utilizing it to his advantage. That was a dangerous swing.

Phoenix: Now some hand fighting as Golden is trying to transition the chin lock to a sleeper! Mourn blocking well. You forget Mourn is a former Pure Champion.

Lillehammer: He’s learned though. The World Champ’s wearing down the larger man like he should.

Golden says something in Mourn’s ear.

Phoenix: Mourn’s enraged! Fighting to his feet, back elbows to the midsection of Golden. Mourn sends Golden off, RUNNING EUROPEAN UPPERCUT BEATS MOURN TO THE PUNCH! Golden once again with a submission attempt, this time a sitting abdominal stretch!

With Mourn’s eyes shielded, Golden spots Kassandra stoically watching on. He licks his lips at her. She responds with a poignant middle finger.

Phoenix: I swear, Golden is treading dangerous water.

Lillehammer: Don’t swear. If Golden wants to win this match he either has to go to places that would get him arrested or stop these games. Golden wanted the crowd to side with him. He wanted to expose Mourn for the brute he is and instead they all hate him.

Phoenix: As they should. The capacity crowd is firmly behind The Desperado.

Lillehammer: Golden only told them the truth and exposed that hussie as-

Phoenix: BOBBY! Mourn’s got his feet under himself now. Up to a vertical base. High hip toss sends Golden off. Golden back up and fighting back with a few jabs! Mourn dodges underneath and nails Golden with a palm strike to the ribs that drops Golden to the knees.

Phoenix: Golden frantically to the ropes and the ref wanting a break!.

Lillehammer: Mourn has his foot! Break!

Phoenix: Mourn standing him up. Golden bouncing on one leg. Mourn with a palm strike to Golden’s face!

Lillehammer: Another disrespectful slap-

Phoenix: AN ENZIGURI BY GOLDEN!

Lillehammer: Fantastic counter!

Phoenix: Golden, STEPOVER ARM-TRAPPED CAMEL CLUTCH! A version of what Obsidian uses.

Lillehammer: Not as perfected as Obsidian’s. Mourn’s a load to hold still!

Phoenix: Mourn almost to the-

Lillehammer: Golden pulling him up!

Phoenix: Golden… COBRA CLUTCH BULLDOG!

Lillehammer: Mourn’s down! THE RONIN’S DOWN!

Phoenix: Mourn’s face first. Golden heading out to the apron. Not used to this from him. Golden, SPRINGBOARD? LEGDROP!

Lillehammer: Beautiful move! Didn’t Mourn used to use that?

Phoenix: YES! Golden not covering him! Golden with a Front Chancery pulling Mourn towards the corner. Looking to place Mourn backwards on the top... I remember this!

Lillehammer: You do?

Phoenix: In their first match, Mourn won with the Top Rope Angel-plex! He may be going for an Avalanche Tiger Suplex 85'!

Lillehammer: That move knocked Golden out! PERFECT!

Phoenix: Golden’s going for retribution!

Golden takes a second to look towards Kassie and smirks. He then blows her a kiss

Golden: For you. My angel.

Lillehammer: A kiss goodnight.

Phoenix: The World Champ is going to repay his one huge blunder!

Lillehammer: He’s got Mourn on the top-

Phoenix: Mourn drops down! Hard elbows to the back of Golden. Golden off the corner- REVERSE HEADLOCK BACKBREAKER! Golden trying to recover quick. Using the ropes to get up. Mourn measuring. Waits. Running High Knee clips Golden! He tumbles out of the ring!

Lillehammer: Despana’s chance foiled by lady luck. Good.

Mourn looks on exasperatedly before he pushes past the ref, who feebly tries to keep him in the ring.

Phoenix: The Western States Heritage Champion is out after the World champ. An elbow to the back of the head of the Irishman. Two now!

Lillehammer: Ref outside letting this go. Golden smartly using the ring post as a shield.

Phoenix: Mourn following behind. They’re now right in front of us! Left hand by Mourn, RAKE OF THE EYES BY GOLDEN!

Lillehammer: The ref’s getting on him about it...

Phoenix: Golden has him by the head, Mourn fights back with a few more left hands AND HE RAKES HIS EYES AGAIN!

Lillehammer: He’s adapting to the ref’s leniency. The mark of a true champion!

Phoenix: Golden, has Mourn set up for a reverse DDT… EYE OF THE HURRICANE! THAT SPINNING HEADLOCK ELBOW DROP ON THE UNFORGIVING FLOOR!

Lillehammer: Golden-

The sound of rumbling on the headsets come up as Golden starts clearing off the announce table while leaving a single monitor. He devilishly looks over at Mourn.

Phoenix: Ladies and gentlemen, Golden’s here and I don’t like the looks in his eyes. He’s just cleared off the table. I am afraid to think what he has planned. Has Mourn by the head. He’s dragging him onto the announce table. Once again going for a kill shot! Golden, HE’S SETTING UP FOR A GOLD RUSH... MOURN LIFTS!

Lillehammer: AHHH!

Phoenix: LIFTING FLATLINER! MOURN DROVE THEM BOTH THROUGH THE TABLE! At what lengths will he go through to be World Champ? Mourn with a kamikaze like move there.

Lillehammer: Racist.

Phoenix: ... I hate you... Ref checking on both men.

Lillehammer: This isn’t good. I may not like Mourn, but he seems to be busted open in the back of his head!

After getting the “OK” from both competitors, the ref heads back into the ring to start the count.

Phoenix: Ref now starting the count. He wanted to give them a chance to get back in the ring. But now, one or both may not make it.

Lillehammer: Idiot ref up to 2 with his slow count. He could have counted to 50.

Phoenix: Mourn looks to be the first away from the carnage at 4. Golden starting to stir.

Just as Mourn gets near the apron Golden flies into the picture and drives Mourn headfirst into the apron.

Phoenix: OH! 5? Mourn’s in danger of missing the count!

Lillehammer: BRILLIANT! GOLDEN’S A GENIUS! 7!

Phoenix: Golden slithers in. Ref to 8! This match can’t end this way!

Lillehammer: It most certainly can!

Phoenix: 9... AND MOURN LEAPS IN JUST IN TIME!

Laying on the mat, Golden looks over at Mourn in disgust.

Lillehammer: Golden can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!

Phoenix: Golden’s tried submissions, high impact grapples and even the environment; yet The Desperado keeps fighting. Fighting to be LPW World Heavyweight Champion.

Lillehammer: Golden gathering himself. He took a hallatious fall through the table!

Phoenix: Golden, slap to the neck of Mourn. Two now. A third for good measure.

Lillehammer: Even if they are disrespecting his opponent, they are doing damage to the area Mourn’s most vulnerable here tonight.

Phoenix: Now a drop down elbow.

Lillehammer: Mourn is getting-

As Mourn goes to hit him again, Mourn raises up.

Phoenix: A HUGE SHOTEI! THAT THUNDEROUS PALM THRUST JUST FLOORED THE WORLD CHAMP! NOW’S YOUR CHANCE KID! DO IT! HE’S IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!

Lillehammer: He’s been looking for a clean shot like that all match. And he’s finally found it. Barbara Bush, may your sweet essence help us all.

Phoenix: Golden first to rise… Mourn with a clinch. Muay Thai knee strikes to the midsection of the World Champ! Despana, GUTWRENCH POWERSLAM!

Lillehammer: No cover! Golden! Distance!

Phoenix: Golden sprawling and PUSHED backwards to the corner with a boot to his chest. Mourn, MASSIVE KNIFE-EDGED CHOP!

Phoenix: Mourn with a hard and decisive final chop and Golden spirals out of the corner!

Lillehammer: Golden’s tan chest is all red. I think I see blood!

Phoenix: Mourn, elbow to the spine. Pulling him in a reverse DDT lock… Mourn… LIGHTING STRIKE! That Burning Chop floored Golden! Mourn’s now using this as a time to fully clear his head. This match has officially turned!

Lillehammer: Shots like that can stop a man’s heart!

Phoenix: Shots like that can bring a man closer to a world title. Mourn circling. Mourn waiting. A sickening kick to Golden that almost caves the Irishman’s chest in!

Lillehammer: He caught him off guard and now Golden’s fighting with all his might!

Phoenix: GOLDEN’S FADING! He’s got to get free. He’s going down! Mourn’s got him in a seated position! Head of steam! Off the ropes behind him, CRACK KNEE! BASEMEN KNEE STRIKE TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!

Lillehammer: NO!

Phoenix: COVER! 1! 2!! 3- NO! DESPANA’S FIRST COVER OF THE EVENING AND GOLDEN JUST GOT FREE BEFORE A THREE!

Lillehammer: What toughness shown by the World Champion! What resolve!

Phoenix: This has turned into a war! Both men slowly moving. Mourn’s still bleeding from the back of his head and it seems to be bothering him. Golden seems to be bruised all over.

Lillehammer:Golden, even with his raw and bleeding chest... AND MOUTH!

Phoenix: From those palm- OPEN HAND CHOP BY MOURN TO GOLDEN’S CHEST!

Lillehammer: Golden fires back with a European Uppercut!

Phoenix: Mourn now with a series of short elbow strikes that send Golden back against the ropes! Mourn, irish whip, reversal by Golden. Mourn coming off, Mourn leapfrogs over a back body drop attempt, RUNNING CROSS BODY BY MOURN DESPANA!

Lillehammer: HE ALMOST CUT OUR WORLD CHAMP IN TWO!

Phoenix: Mourn moving gingerly. The Ronin headed to the corner. Up to the second rope. Golden’s slowly rising. He’s waiting for him to… DIVING DDT! Shoots the half. Into a cover! 1! 2! NO! Golden again kicks out!

Lillehammer: Golden has a mad man on the loose! This isn’t a good spot to be in. He’s got to get out of that ring to regroup!

Lillehammer: If Mourn had his ring awareness on full power, the robot could have seen that coming! And they say machines-.

Phoenix: And he would have won this contest Robert. Mourn’s neck still giving him issues. The battle taking its toll.

Lillehammer: Like in the Deathcube! His injuries caught up to him!

Phoenix; Astute observation! Mourn’s slowly changed his tactics over the last year and it seems to have paid dividends here tonight! Mourn pulling Golden up, AND THE WORLD CHAMP NOW WITH A SICKENING OPEN HAND CHOP TO MOURN’S CHEST!

In defiance Golden spits blood on Mourn before motioning him to continue.

Lillehammer: I am starting to wonder which one is suicidal…

Phoenix: Mourn now with rapid fire palm strikes. Golden’s head is rocking side to side! Golden dodges, GOLDEN NOW RETURNING FIRE WITH EUROPEAN UPPERCUTS! NOW THEY ARE TRADING SHOTS! PALM STRIKE, UPPERCUT-

Lillehammer: These two cannot continue-

Phoenix: HEADBUTT BY MOURN TO GOLDEN’S CHEST! Golden once again crumples to the mat! Mourn with a deep breath. Winds his left arm. Mourn, off the ropes-

Lillehammer: Listen to this STUPID crowd! Following THAT woman’s lead?

Phoenix: THIS PLACE IS ROCKING! They are helping her willing Mourn along. He’s pulling with all his might!

Lillehammer: Golden… their blood is causing Golden to lose his grip… repositioning!

The crowd groans.

Phoenix: GOLDEN’S GOT IT IN DEEPER! LOOK AT THAT TORQUE! This removes Mourn’s upper body strength from saving him! Mourn’s in agony! He can't reach the ropes, Golden's pulling him away! .MOURN’S FADING!

Lillehammer: GOLDEN IS ABOUT TO BECOME THE UNIFIED--

In a last gasp effort, Mourn powers with his legs and flings one foot over the bottom rope that the crowd cheers madly for.

Lillehammer: HE GOT THERE? HOW?

Phoenix: This is about pride! About honor! The fight to become World Heavyweight Champion! Mourn survived, but he’s on borrowed time! That’s a very tough submission on a man! Look at Golden, he’s spent! He put everything he had left into that! And it wasn’t enough!

Gasping, Golden looks around with wide eyes as the crowd chants in unison “DES-PA-NA!”

Phoenix: Golden slowly rising. Both men sluggish. Golden waits. He’s in position to grab him for a Gold Rush! Golden- MOURN WITH SWINGING URANAGE! Mourn with another counter to the Gold Rush! Golden is madly rising. So is Mourn- ROLLING ELBOW! MY GOD! HE HIT IT! COVER HIM GABRIEL! COVER HIM!

Lillehammer: This day isn’t happening…

As Mourn goes to cover, he sees Kassandra beyond looking on. They only look at each other as if reading the other’s thoughts. His body starts to shake as his eyes seeth.

Phoenix: MOURN! COVER!

Lillehammer: GOLDEN! GET OUT OF THERE!

Phoenix: MOURN WITH A CRAZED BATTLE CRY! Mourn with a guillotine choke on Golden. Yanking him to his feet. Mourn scoop… LEAPING NORTHERN LIGHTS BOMB!

Lillehammer: BY REAGAN!

Mourn’s feral eyes stare at his wife while leaning over Golden on all fours.

The crowd erupts into jubilation at the conclusion as Mourn crumples to the mat after the three. “Turn to Stone” by Joe Walsh serenades the Phoenix crowd that causes pockets of the crowd to sing to along to the melody. The camera shows a stunned Kassandra looking on at ringside as attendants rush to the ring to tend to the competitors

Lillehammer: The mutt actually did it… Not giving the new champ a word?

Phoenix: The crowd says it all for me! Listen to them! Mourn Despana climbed a mountain, called his shot, got his opportunity. Even went through personal hell. He found the heart of a champion to power through. He fought for someone he cares for. Not just for the chance to be World Champ. Take nothing from Golden. He ultimately went out on his shield and for that, I can respect his effort. But tonight he got just exactly what he deserved. .

Lillehammer: I tip my hat to the half-breed. The both of them. I hope they make perfectly insane kids together that continue to spiral our country into a sad and controlling liberal-

Lillehammer’s mic is cut off. The camera pans to Kassandra standing in the ring watching a bandaged Mourn stand as he is presented both titles. For a brief moment he looks over at Golden who is just now slowly leaving the ring. You can see a hint of regret. He then stares down at the world title. His eyes well up and he drops to a knee, look to the sky and he starts to cry. Kassandra walks over, sighs, and awkwardly comforts him with a hug.

Lillehammer: Great. He’s now mushy too… I’m getting sick. Where have all the real champions gone?

Phoenix: He’s always looking to make his family proud. If they are looking on, they are as proud as two parents could be. For a confused and pissed off Robbert Lillehammer. This is I, Blazing Phoenix, happily sounding off from Chase Field in Phoenix, Arizona. We’ll see you next time as The Ronin stands tall as LPW World Heavyweight Champion!

Mourn stands and gently places the Western States Heritage Championship over Kassandra’s shoulder as confetti falls from the sky. Mourn Despana climbs the corner, raising his new championship to the sky as in the background, Kassandra flashes a rare, warm, smile.

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Fade in backstage. As the murmurs of a show well done smatter about, a battered and bloodied former champion Golden sits on an equipment crate. His eyes closed in exhaustion, he can’t help but to crack a smile as he contemplates the events of the evening. His eyes flutter open and he spies the camera. He spits to the side and inhales slowly.

Golden: Guess this is where I share my obvious thoughts on losing the World Heavyweight Championship, eh? Piss off. I have nothing to say to you. But Gabe … oh Gabe … I have plenty.

First off … Congratulations, you've done it. You've made LPW great again. Isn't that what they're saying? Thing is, I am what makes you great. Without me, you’re…good. Take a breath and look at what punctuates the highlight moments in the career of Mourn Despana. Me. And you know it. You wholeheartedly accept that you need me for the world to see the ‘you’ that you want them to see. You’ve clever, I’ll give you that. Greedy…sneaky…selfish. False.

Golden runs his hands through his hair, grimacing as his palms cross over his wound.

Golden: And you know what, I’ll give it to you. Every time…every goddamn time you tempt me in to it. I can’t resist. Like putting a fucking line of coke under the nose of an addict and asking them what it smells like. I willingly walk the tightrope knowing the story – your story - won’t be complete until you push me off it. And I walk, and I walk, and I walk…and you push.

Well how about this. How about I don’t whore myself out to you anymore. Let’s see what the new World Heavyweight Champion can do without his crutch. Let’s see do you sink or swim without your Golden lifejacket. And then, let’s see how you do when I come back and take MY Championship belt back. And this time it will be my story.

Golden gingerly gets to his feet, offering a ill-intentioned glare to the lens.

The pack of cigarettes is nestled back into her inside coat pocket. Once lit, Kassandra leans back against the metal door of the loading dock. The sounds of fans in the background gone, left only the crew starting about the task of cleaning up. Out of the corner of her eye she sees a shadowy figure trying to exit quickly. She raises an eyebrow at the realization that it is Chris Austin.

Kassandra: Surprised to see you still here.

Her voice stops him in his tracks, like a bandit caught red-handed. He sneers in her direction, an obviously hateful gaze shrouded beneath his customary hoodie and newfound shame.

Austin: Fuck off.

Kassandra: If you know anything about my situation, that isn't likely tonight.

Austin: Boo-hoo. Now, like I said. Fuck. Off.

He turns away to leave, but his feet will not carry him further into the night. Kassandra pulls out the pack of cigs and flicks the pack against her wrist.

Kassandra: You could use a smoke.

Austin: If you know anything about my situation …

Austin turns to face her, removing the hoodie from his head. He gives Kassie a onceover, the intent in his pupils unmistakably carnal in nature.

Austin: Then you know that is not my vice of choice.

Kassandra: If I knew someone like Mourn was my vice of choice before I met him… He wouldn’t be my vice of choice. You never know until you try.

Austin: And yet here you stand, talking with me and having a cigarette on the greatest day of his life instead of … indulging in your “vice of choice.”

She sneers.

Kassandra: He’s having staples put in his fucking head.

She takes a drag.

Kassandra: He’s spent. There will be days ahead when we will have the time for celebration. I want him at full strength, not at half-mast.

Austin: Not like it’d matter. When’s the last time you fucked someone like you meant it? Hasn’t been recently. Otherwise … well, it’s not like he trusts you much anyway. Wouldn’t matter if you meant it. He clearly wouldn’t. It’s a shame because “betrayal” really looks good on you.

Be well, Kassandra. Tell Gabriel I said congratulations and my eye is on what he holds most dear.

Kassandra: Two things before you go. If you may indulge me. Shit. Not like you have a hot date tonight or anything.

Austin sighs exasperatedly, clearly wanting to leave. But for some reason …

Austin: Make it fast.

Kassandra: One. You misrepresent Mourn. Been a troubled time. My reasons for going elsewhere had nothing to do with dissatisfaction. Everything to do with sensitivity of what his ex really did to him. The bitch fucked with him. I am fucking shit at sensitivity bullshit and well, when you are shit at something and try really fucking hard to do it… But, like, he fought for me. He fights for those he cares for. I say, I am one good evening of games away from being out of the dog house… I have no fucking idea why my ass is telling you this.

Austin: He fought for his fractured ego and little else, Kassandra. But the reason you’re telling me this is the same reason you told Oscar what you told him… because someone was willing to hear you. So what’s the damn second thing, because you’re doing a bang-up job of keeping me away from nothing.

Kassandra: Oh.

She flicks her cigarette to the ground and digs her heel into it. She walks past him heading inside.

Kassandra: It’ll never happen.

Austin smirks.

Austin: Hrm … here’s the thing, Kassandra. When I said I have my eye on what he holds most dear? I didn’t mean you. See you around.

OOC: Great great write. Top quality show. Fucking hell on those close scores. Needless to say, a lot of people have things to walk away with for character motivation. Nice to see the DEEPNET shine with their unique style. Really interested to see how the owner plays out with the enemies he's already making.

On a personal note. I am humbled. Thank you all for your criticisms. Thank you for the friendships. Hell, thank you for simply being a part of LPW. Most importantly, thank you for helping me rekindle my love for storytelling.

OOC: HOLY SHIT. Well written show, congratulations are in order for Mourn. Sixx and Storme being back moistens my britches as well.

IC:

And just like I told ya, Bane. We're done. Skedaddle back to Loserville.

Welcome back, Storme. Don't think for a second I've forgotten about you. I still have a score to settle with you. You and I have put each other through hell, and the score cards are in your favor. Two losses on my end. Rest assured, I'm not finished with you.

But you're not on my radar right now. And you need to get reacclimated. Our paths will cross again, like it's destined to be.

What I'd like to go ahead and do right now, is to throw out a challenge to Joe Citizen. You wanna talk about how the way you won that there championship isn't how you wanted to win, eh?

OOC: Fantastic write up everyone! The show really got off on an exciting foot didn't it peeps?

Mr Bronx! Mr Mourn! We did it kiddos!!

Also, holy shit those matches, holy shit those moments, holy shit the returns!!! Top stuff LPW Staff! IC comments will be incoming later on once I have time to digest everything. This is so awesome! Amped up! Fired up! Let's go!!

Congratulations to Mourn, disappointed in myself that I couldn't capture the imagination of the readers a little better so that it wasn't such a blow out but that takes nothing away from a well earned victory nonetheless.

Great to see Sixx and Storme back. Wow. Can't wait to see what they have up their sleeves.

IC response done post show so I'll probably smoulder quietly in the corner for a while.

Maverick: Boohoo Motherfucker. You had it coming. Bullshit refereeing decisions aside you had it fucking coming. You want a fight then go and speak to that 10 year old kid dude who seems to be running the place lately. He'll probably put us near the top of the card where you will stay there for the rest of your pathetic career. Myself on the other hand will definitely beat you senseless then soon afterwards will go on to win what I came to LPW in the first place. Titles.

Thornridge groans a little, holding an ice pack to his jaw from the flapjack superkick earlier. His newly won LPW World Tag Team Championship hanging over his shoulder as he glared at Sixx.

Thornridge: I find it interesting you assume that time is on your side, veteran. Tick tock indeed.

Sixx: I don't need time. I need you and Bronx to put your names on the dotted line so Steve and I can go ahead and take those titles from you. The only reason either of you is able to walk under your own power is because you can't defend the titles if you're in a coma. Playtime is over. Good times are dead. We are mayhem. We are destruction. We are walking, talking death. We are your end. Fight it. Please. It's far more fun to maim those who make it a challenge.

Austin: So ... to fucking recap this shitshow of an injustice known as day one of the new asshat's regime:

I am unjustly stripped of a title shot that I earned because pissant fans said so.

Ozzy gets his ass beat backstage.

New Tag champs get their asses beat by returning talent.

Former Hardcore champ no shows a match he would have easily won.

Al, the convict that got to keep his belt, gets his ass beat because Bobino once again proved his worth, or lack thereof.

Mourn tries to paralyze a sexual offender in the main event.

And ... most importantly ... MY GODDAMN TITLE SHOT WAS STRIPPED FROM ME BECAUSE OF THESE FUCKBOY FANS.

And you cunts have the nerve, the UNMITIGATED GALL to say that you had it worse when Smitten ran shit. The fuck out of here. Should've burned Phoenix to the damn ground that night. Instead, now I have to assert myself the hard way. No Vaseline.

Know this. I'm going to Altered Reality and I will leave with the fucking Martinez Cup. Come hell or high water.

Austin: So ... to fucking recap this shitshow of an injustice known as day one of the new asshat's regime:

I am unjustly stripped of a title shot that I earned because pissant fans said so.

Ozzy gets his ass beat backstage.

New Tag champs get their asses beat by returning talent.

Former Hardcore champ no shows a match he would have easily won.

Al, the convict that got to keep his belt, gets his ass beat because Bobino once again proved his worth, or lack thereof.

Mourn tries to paralyze a sexual offender in the main event.

And ... most importantly ... MY GODDAMN TITLE SHOT WAS STRIPPED FROM ME BECAUSE OF THESE FUCKBOY FANS.

And you cunts have the nerve, the UNMITIGATED GALL to say that you had it worse when Smitten ran shit. The fuck out of here. Should've burned Phoenix to the damn ground that night. Instead, now I have to assert myself the hard way. No Vaseline.

Know this. I'm going to Altered Reality and I will leave with the fucking Martinez Cup. Come hell or high water.

Sixx: Chris... How are you, my friend? Still carrying that torch around? I truly hope that you DO dethrone one of these fools and win the Martinez Cup.

Sixx: I don't need time. I need you and Bronx to put your names on the dotted line so Steve and I can go ahead and take those titles from you. The only reason either of you is able to walk under your own power is because you can't defend the titles if you're in a coma. Playtime is over. Good times are dead. We are mayhem. We are destruction. We are walking, talking death. We are your end. Fight it. Please. It's far more fun to maim those who make it a challenge.

Thornridge rolled his neck in an attempt to loosen it, standing up and smiling a little while patting the title that hung over his shoulder.

Thornridge: You have a pretty killer finishing move. Not the first time I got my jaw jacked in Pheonix. It's not the first time that I have come across an All-Star team as soon as I won the LPW World Heavyweight Tag Team Championships either. It's appropriate that one would show up at an event of the same name. But I find it interesting that you mention mayhem, destruction...

If you want to talk about a similar adjective, chaos, Bronx and I have three long years of experience in that department and gutted it out. While as soon as yourself and Storme encountered a modicum of it, you decided to hide away in the shadows for a few months and lick your wounds before coming back in a Category Sixx Thunder Storme and tornado through already weakened structures. So congrats on making such an impressive impact in your return Sixxer, mate. I'm sure The Kid will grant your wish for a title shot soon enough. But until then, I'm one half of the World Heavyweight Tag Team Champions. You aren't. How does that make you feel?

Caitlin: This is bullshit because we paid for our time on the PPV and it didn't even fucking air. My client is furious because there is still no promotion of the match against Steven Thornridge, but now the new owner is overlooking my client in this company. Well after discussing it with my client, we've come to a decision and we will make our impact by forcing our way into the United States title contention. My client deserves a shot and we will get it or people will feel the wrath of my client's anger.

Silver Kazama: And where exactly is your client? We've sure heard a lot from you the last few months. Funny how I don't actually hear anything from your...client. Hell, I'm starting to believe his name is Client, because that seems to be the only way he's referenced.

Thornridge: He's getting a paycheck to sit around in a hot tub while real fighters are out there busting their asses, taking all comers and not calling their shots. Your client doesn't deserve f*** all. So how is your client going to force your way into title contention when he sits around and waits for a perfect opportunity? Reality check sunshine, perfect opportunities don't fall suddenly in people's laps. You gotta make your own, you gotta work. Sure, being a little disgruntled is a good motivator, but you still gotta get off your ass and do something.

Thornridge held his title up in the air before looking at Caitlyn.

Thornridge: This title win is testament to Bronx's and my hard work. We didn't go on a sneak attack, we didn't orchestrate the perfect match up, we earned our shot against all challengers and defeated the best to win these LPW World Heavyweight Tag Team Championships. There is a reason that Steven Thornridge was on the card at All-Stars and Jeff Watson didn't make the cut. I AM AN ALL-STAR and your client is a wannabe. Prove me wrong.

Thornridge: He's getting a paycheck to sit around in a hot tub while real fighters are out there busting their asses, taking all comers and not calling their shots. Your client doesn't deserve f*** all. So how is your client going to force your way into title contention when he sits around and waits for a perfect opportunity? Reality check sunshine, perfect opportunities don't fall suddenly in people's laps. You gotta make your own, you gotta work. Sure, being a little disgruntled is a good motivator, but you still gotta get off your ass and do something.

Thornridge held his title up in the air before looking at Caitlyn.

Thornridge: This title win is testament to Bronx's and my hard work. We didn't go on a sneak attack, we didn't orchestrate the perfect match up, we earned our shot against all challengers and defeated the best to win these LPW World Heavyweight Tag Team Championships. There is a reason that Steven Thornridge was on the card at All-Stars and Jeff Watson didn't make the cut. I AM AN ALL-STAR and your client is a wannabe. Prove me wrong.

Caitlin: Who the fuck are you to be talking not only about myself, but my client like that? We would be out there cracking skulls but it's hard to do when no worthy competition presents itself to my client. But it seems to me like your trying to back out of the ass beating that my client, Jeff Watson, has for you and that will only piss him off further. So shut the fuck up, enjoy your tag titles because it won't last long and stay the fuck out of our way. If you come at my client again, then you won't make it to your first title defense because he'll make sure that you are permanently crippled.

Sixx: Chris... How are you, my friend? Still carrying that torch around? I truly hope that you DO dethrone one of these fools and win the Martinez Cup.

Austin: ...

*eye twitches*

Did you even watch the show or did your mind fast forward to the part that involved you? It's OK if it's the latter. The latter happens a goddamn lot around here.

But to answer your sarcastic-ass question. I'm not well and I will see to it that other bitches are even worse off. An injustice was committed. Now, the torch that I rightfully earned has been rendered to nothing more than a baseball bat. I will use it as such from this point forward.

I've said for a long time I never needed the torch to get what it had guaranteed me. But it's the damn principle. So ... now I have to show them. Sucks for them. But as you like to say, the game has changed.

Did you even watch the show or did your mind fast forward to the part that involved you? It's OK if it's the latter. The latter happens a goddamn lot around here.

But to answer your sarcastic-ass question. I'm not well and I will see to it that other bitches are even worse off. An injustice was committed. Now, the torch that I rightfully earned has been rendered to nothing more than a baseball bat. I will use it as such from this point forward.

I've said for a long time I never needed the torch to get what it had guaranteed me. But it's the damn principle. So ... now I have to show them. Sucks for them. But as you like to say, the game has changed.

Sixx: You know me well enough to be certain that I'm not worried about anything that doesn't directly impact me and what I want. I do hate that you seem to be getting the shaft, however. I feel for those in your path. A pissed off Chris Austin would be at the very bottom of my Shit to Try list.

OOC: I didn't finish reading the show until right before I commented on it this morning... But the IC stuff is certainly an accurate representation of Sixx. Lol

Mourn: Cucks do not beat the fuck out of people. They have things done in front of them and do nothing about it. Like having their shit taken from them.

Austin:*sneers as he looks at the Mount Vesuvius Torch still in his possession, and thus not taken*

You were beating the fuck out of Golden in title matches long before he decided to treat your wife like a blind man does Braille. Are we supposed to be impressed by you doing something you have always done -- despite his immense talent -- just because this time it got you the admittedly impressive distinction of world champion? As I told you in Chicago. You should have beaten him. I didn't think you would, but I felt that you should. So I was half wrong. It is what it is.

But I like that fire.

Reminds me of the fire Ham started. And then, when you had that working in your favor, you and your dumb ass friends decided to "do something about" having your shit -- Allana, who is shit and should have been left to rot, as you know -- taken. And what did that get you in Phoenix, hmm? It got the fuck beaten out of you and yours by me and mine and got LPW banned from Arizona for a couple of years.

Gabriel, be honest with yourself. You, I, and everyone else here knows it's merely a matter of time before the inevitable sets in, and I become a world champion. Everyone here, even you, know I didn't really NEED the torch to become that. But you, better than anyone, knows that you don't fuck with what a man holds dear.

But above all else ... you know it was wrong.

Maybe I shouldn't be infuriated about Nabakov taking his champions' safety net. But I fucking am. And I will continue to be. Because it is mine, and all that came with it is mine.

And eventually, just like you, I will get in a position to do something about being wronged. After all, you weren't able to immediately do anything about what Golden did. But eventually ... the inevitable set in, didn't it, champ?

You and I are more alike than we wish we were. But at least I accept it.