Smartest Porn Stars

These 10 Porn Stars Are Smarter Than You. Way Smarter.

Whether you're on Pornhub daily or you've never consumed a single byte of fap fuel, you more than likely have some hard and fast opinions about the brain power of folks who make and star in porno. Do people still say porno? No matter. And we're betting that your hard and fast opinions lead to snap judgments like labelling XXX actresses as vacuous dullards. We're also betting that people who make up our list have starred in movies with the words hard and fast in the title or "script". And some are very likely more wealthy than you. But mostly, we're betting that, spoiler alert, these porn stars are smarter than you. Yup. They're educated, bright and have the IQs and credentials to prove it. The real bummer is that they're probably also more attractive than you. It's okay. You can't win 'em all, buddy. Unless you're really smart and attractive and get paid to have sex with other attractive people.

Laurie Wallace

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She may look like your stereotypically vapid, shapely blonde adult entertainer, but Wallace holds a double Major in German and Political Science from Loyola College in Maryland. But before having lots of sex on camera she was accepted in Law at George Washington University. She decided to leave law school when she signed as a model and eventually moved on to porn. Landing her safely on our probably-smarter-than-you-pornstar's list. Unless you speak German, have a double major or went to law school. No? Me neither.

A.J. Bailey

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This Scottish starlet has a Master’s Degree in Anthropology. And as an Anthropologist you may as well get a Masters in Museum Studies for good measure. Which she did. Bailey admitted that being an anthropologist gives her a unique perspective as an adult star. The salient points of a succesful threesome as compared to the mating rituals of the Papuan tribes of New Guinea must be eye opening. Plus, not every sex worker could handle two Master’s. Degrees! Two Master’s Degrees. Phew. Almost awkward.

Tera Patrick

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One of the most famous adult performers of all time, Patrick jumps in as our second registered nurse on the list. But not one to rest on her laurels, she felt the need to get a degree in Microbiology as well. Are we the only ones who'll likely fantasize more about Patrick now that we know she has a solid grasp of the finer points of microbial physiology? Nope. I think we can all agree that's oddly enticing. On top of her adult career success, she’s also published a book of memoirs and owns a production company called TeraVision Inc.

Diamond Jackson

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Late to the adult film industry, Jackson only began performing in her early 40’s. Prior to that she was a runway model, a fitness instructor for a local television program and one of the first VJs on MTV. Oh, she also holds a degree in Sports Medicine Technology from Denver University so she’s the full package. Insert “full package” joke here. And maybe insert an "insert" joke here. I'll stop.

T.J. Hart

Luke Ford

A double major is impressive, but a triple major is just showing off. Which we suppose stands to reason as extrovert and exhibition likely rate high on character traits of adult entertainers. Hart graduated from the University of Colorado with a triple major in psychology, sociology and art, with a minor in early childhood education. And, not that it counts as smarts, but she was also on the 1988 US Olympic swimteam. So, long story short, she’s better than you.

Shy Love

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Finishing high school early at the age of 16, Shy Love went on to grab an undergrad in Accounting. Then a Master’s in Accounting. Then while she was working full time as a Comptroller for a multi-national pet pharmaceutical company, she got her second Master’s in Taxation. At night. All before the age of 25. She now runs her own talent agency for adult entertainers. What am I doing with my life?

Annie Sprinkle

Julian Cash

She may look like your fave zany aunt, but she's a seasoned adult performer. And you can call her Dr. Sprinkle (we sure will) because she’s also the first known porn star to earn a PhD. Yes indeed, Annie received a doctorate in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. She no longer performs as an adult film star but her work as a sexologist, educator, lecturer and author is found in university curriculums across the united states. One more thing: Dr. Sprinkle. Yup. Just checked. Still fun to say.

Sharon Mitchell

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Another doctor in our list who has more awesome sex than you. Mitchell began her work as an adult entertainer in the mid 70’s and had a twenty plus year career. She left it behind however to get her Master’s and subsequently her Doctorate in Sexology from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Mitchell (Sorry. That's Dr. Mitchell) then founded and ran the Adult Industry Medical Health Care Foundation where an average of about 1,200 adult performers were tested monthly for STIs until it’s closing in 2011.

Nina Hartley

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Almost a pornographic institution in her own right, Hartley is a highly vocal, sex-positive feminist and sex educator. She sits on the Board of Directors of the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance which fights the good fight against sexual repression. Plus, she graduated in Nursing from San Francisco State University. Yes, magna cum laude. Don’t.

Asia Carrera

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Something of a child piano prodigy, Carrera had performed at Carnegie Hall before the age of 15. Twice. At 16 she was teaching English at Tsuruga College in Tsuruga, Fukui, Japan. She was eventually awarded a full academic scholarship to Rutgers University majoring in Japanese and Business before dropping out. But as a card carrying member of Mensa who boasts an IQ of 156 I don’t think she’s sweating it. Einstein and Hawking only scored 4 points higher. And she’s one of the most successful adult stars of all time. Who is way smarter than you. In case your weren't paying attention.

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