Archive for January 2017

On January 21st, just a week ago this past Saturday we got a call early in the morning that no parent wants to get. My step-daughter, Laura, called from back east to tell us that her brother, Rich Jr., had had a heart attack and died. It was sudden and quick. He was only 49 years old. What makes the news even worse is Rich, Jr had alienated some of his family members, including his father who he hadn’t talked to in over two and half years. It’s just so sad! So unnecessary. He was gone too soon.

When a death happens like this you don’t have much time to prepare. We had to quickly make travel arrangements to fly back east for the service and talk with family to coordinate plans and take care of things here at home while we were away. Needless to say this past week has been a roller coaster of emotions between grief, shock and anger.

What makes this such a timely story for me is the fact that I’m getting ready to do a workshop starting February 7th called Emotional Weight Loss For Life. I believe in my heart that Rich, Jr. died not just because he was overweight and smoked but because he held onto negative emotions that set himself up for those self-destructive behaviors. He was the type of person who could talk about anything and everything except his feelings. He lived in Long Island, NY with his wife and two sons and was an avid sports fan and also loved to cook. Food was an important part of his life as he was a GM of a restaurant. He could talk non-stop about the Yankees or the Giants or what he was fixing for dinner or changes to the restaurant’s menu but you try to get him to talk about any kind of conflict with a family member or about his feelings and he would clam up. He held those feelings close to his heart and refused to share his deepest thoughts and fears.

In the last couple of blog posts I’ve talked about how we are 90% subconscious and it is those buried emotions in our subconscious that hold us back in life and stop us from accomplishing our dreams, feeling healthy and balanced and being at peace with who we have become. It saddens me to sit back and watch people I love suffer because they don’t know how to open up and share their feelings and release their negative emotions. Having negative feelings is part of the human experience. Who hasn’t made a mistake and felt guilt or remorse? Who hasn’t had someone say hateful things about them or had to deal with rejection? Who hasn’t grieved over the loss of a loved one or faced disappointment ? Who hasn’t gone through periods of insecurity, overwhelm or felt afraid?

The average human experiences all of these feelings and many more. However, if we don’t learn how to process our life’s stressful experiences and release the negative energy that comes from those experiences we will end up burying them in our subconscious. Eventually they must be dealt with. There comes a time in life where you have to have a “come to Jesus meeting” with yourself. You have to sit yourself down and say to your higher self/soul/subconscious or whatever you want to call it, “It’s time we had a talk.” It’s time to find out what you’ve buried. It’s time to find out what makes up that 90% part of you. Scary? Of course. Who wants to go digging around in that dark place we all have? Who wants to face their demons? There are ways, however, that are gentle and easy and healing. It’s not as scary as you think. That’s what my workshop is all about. To be there with you as you go through the process. You don’t have to do it alone. You just have to be open and willing to learn how to find the negative emotions and beliefs and take the time to release them.

I’ve been watching Rich, Jr. from afar for many years and knew first hand some of the demons he faced and based on what I have learned over the past 10 years I saw this coming. I felt helpless to help him. Two days before Rich, Jr. died I actually told my husband to not be surprised if he outlived his son. I just didn’t realize my intuition was going to be right so soon.

I have many other family members who are also reluctant to share their feelings or willing to look at alternative ways to heal emotionally. It’s too “woo woo” for them, I guess, to talk about “energy” and healing at the subconscious level. The bottom line, it’s time you become willing to open up the lines of communication with the deepest part of who you are and get to crux of what you’ve buried and and find ways to release the emotional weight you’ve been carrying around. What faulty programs are running your life? What lies and limiting beliefs control your behavior? What negative emotions are you storing in your body? Keeping negative energy in the form of thoughts or emotions bottled up inside is going to only cause you pain and disease and for some even death.

If you feel you have become weighted down with your emotional baggage I’m starting an on-line workshop “Emotional Weight Loss For Life” on February 7th. You can check it out here. If that is not something you are inclined to do right now then here are a few books you might want to read to learn more – The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson, Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol K Truman, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza and The Healing Code by Dr. Alexander Loyd & Dr. Ben Johnson.

Please don’t downplay the need to have outlets for your subconscious to release the crap it carries around. Your physical, mental and emotional health depend on your willingness to let go of the negative energy you experience. If you have questions about the workshop or want to talk about what you are going through right now feel free to contact me at edie.sangiorgio@gmail.com. I’d be happy to schedule a time to visit with you.

In my last blog I posed the question “What’s Stopping You?” and I took a rather personal and humorous approach to it. If you haven’t read it you can read it here.

In this blog, however, I’m going to take a more serious viewpoint to this provocative question. Here is the answer in a nutshell. Your subconscious that’s what’s stopping you.

Your subconscious is what’s stopping you.

Your subconscious is the mysterious force that holds you back every time. Why? Because 90% of who we are is already programmed in our subconscious. We are only 10% conscious of what we do and why we do what we do.

Let’s look at this idea from a different perspective. Think about your computer. A computer is not just the CPU, monitor, keyboard, and all the internal pieces workings. What makes your computer unique and operate how it does are all the programs it has installed on the hard drive, which by the way includes all the viruses and malware its acquired along the way too.

Human beings are not that much different. We are an interfacing conglomerate of living, breathing working cells and systems that grow and die, they communicate with one another, look out for one another and work together in order for our physical body to survive. Each cell is programmed with a different job and function. And what are each of these cells made of? Energy. Unique, vibrating frequencies of particles and waves.

I hate to get too quantum physics on you when what you really wanted was for me to tell you something more concrete or logistical. Sorry to disappoint you. But the reality is you are basically nothing but a being made of pure energy that only appears solid. Yes, yes I know you can touch yourself and see yourself and hear yourself and smell yourself. That’s the same as touching the computer CPU. The truth is you are not your body. You have a body. You are not your thoughts. You have thoughts. You are not your emotions. You have emotions. And like everything else in the universe thoughts and emotions are energy too!

And similar to a computer everything is recorded, filed and leaves traces or a path, kind of like our computer cookies. Every second of our life is filed away someplace in our being, both in the brain matter between our ears via neuro-pathways but also in our body. Every thought and emotion (which remember are energy) we have ever had has the potential of being stored if it is not processed and released. You’ve undoubtedly heard the phrase, “Let it go.” Some of us are not very good at doing that. Energy is constantly running through us and if we don’t release it, it has to go somewhere, and often it gets buried in our subconscious.

I’m sure you can recall a time you had a thought that caused you to have muscle tension in your back or neck, or an experience that gave you butterflies in your stomach. Those were the emotions you actually felt in your body. How about all the thoughts you’ve had that were more subtle or ones you didn’t like so you pushed them away. You may not have wanted to consciously think about or feel something but that doesn’t mean your subconscious wasn’t taking everything in.

It has been theorized that there are only two basic emotions human feel which are love and fear and every other emotion is a derivative of those two. Love emotions power us forward, such as passion, enthusiasm, joy and compassion. Fear emotions pull us back, such as anger, rejection, grief and unworthiness.

So let’s go back to our original question as to what’s stopping you. The bottom line is you are, or more precisely the fear related emotions you’ve buried and stored in your subconscious. But don’t be disheartened by it. Be empowered by that concept. If you have everything that is stopping you stored in your subconscious than that is where you need to go to find your blockages. And there are many techniques and modalities you can learn to search through your subconscious and “clean out your files” so to speak.

So here’s the good news. You are the one you’ve been waiting for. You hold the key to removing the blockages that have been stopping you. The bad news is it’s going to take effort on your part. No one can come along and do this for you. There is no knight in shiny armor who can save you from yourself. It is an “inside out” job. And only you can do it. With a little bit of reading and studying you can learn how to connect with your subconscious and find and remove the emotional barriers to your success. Others can assist you with the process but in the end it is up to you to do the work.

The work will require your diligence and patience. You will need to give it whatever time it is going to take, whether it be a quick fix or healing a wound that is deeply rooted from childhood. You’ll need to learn how to communicate with the deeper part of you and there are many techniques you can learn that teach you how to do that. You have to be willing to ask the questions and go searching for the answers. You need to be open to new the science out there and the new alternative healing modalities. Being closed minded is only going to keep the door to your subconscious not only shut but bolted with a deadlock.

I’m not sure this blog gave you the answer to the question “What’s Stopping You?” that you were expecting or wanted. What I hope is I gave you something to think about that might inspire and empower you to go on your own scavenger hunt to answer for yourself “What’s Stopping You?” The answers are there for the finding for those willing to ask.

If you’d like to explore this question further I am having a workshop called “What’s Stopping You?” on Saturday, February 4th. Check out this workshop here. If you cannot make the workshop on the Feb 4th but are still interested in exploring this further and need some accountability I am starting a 6 week online program called “Emotional Weight Loss For Life Workshop” starting February 7th. Email me personally if you would like more information about it or check it out here. It will entail a call in session every Tuesday from 11:30-1:00 that will be recorded. You’ll have daily and weekly homework assignments to help you stick with the process. I’ll be sending out more specifics in my next post. Feel free to leave comments below or personally email me at edie.sangiorgio@gmail.com if you have any questions.

In honor of the new year I thought I’d tackle the topic of goals and what’s stopping us from achieving them. January is the month of new beginnings and fresh starts. It’s a time when we reassess our goals not just for the new year but we often recommit to a dream or aspiration or something we feel destined to do.

Have you ever felt, however, like there is some mysterious force stopping you from reaching one of these goals or dreams? You wake up every morning with good intentions but at the end of the day you’ve done nothing that get’s you even a step closer. The good news is you’re not alone so don’t feel you’re the only one. The bad news is the average person struggles to live up to their God given potential, reach their goals and fulfill their destiny. Most of us get to the end of our lives with a very long unfinished “bucket list.” If God gave out grades we would get an “I” for incomplete.

If God gave out grades we would get an “I” for incomplete.

Whether it’s losing weight, being successful in your network marketing business, finishing that degree, exercising regularly, meeting a partner and settling down, spending more time with family, volunteering for our favorite charity, climbing a fourteener, traveling abroad, writing that book, or just cleaning out the attic or putting in a garden, most of us have goals that get kicked down the road from year to year. We think big but we act small. We start out with good intentions but somehow manage to sabotage our efforts in a variety of ways. Then we find all kinds of rationalizations as to why we haven’t accomplished more and done what we said we wanted to do. Most days we go about our everyday life quietly suffering from frustration, resignation and feeling somewhat defeated. Even our closest friends may not know how unfulfilled we feel.

Now for some more not so good news. Which is, if you don’t decide to do something different you’re going to continue feeling stopped. Whether you have an immediate goal, of let’s say eating healthier and losing weight or a long term goal of building a business or saving for retirement, you’ll keep on getting what you’re getting because you keep on doing what you’re doing.

Why can’t we seem to do what we say we want to do? We know what to do.

After all we’ve read a multitude of books on the subject of our endeavor. Started programs or we’ve gone to numerous workshops and seminars. Joined organizations and support groups. Some of us have even hired a coach or a mentor and invested lots of money and time and written out a great “action plan.” And yet, for some unknown reason, we haven’t reached our goal. We haven’t stuck with it. We haven’t done what we know to do. Something thwarted our efforts. Something stole our enthusiasm. Do you ever feel like you’re pushing against an invisible wall?

Do you ever feel like you’re pushing against an invisible wall?

To be fair, there are some days you do feel motivated and so focused on the goal you can taste it. You wake up and are excited about the day and ready to tackle the short term goals that lead to a big accomplishment. You feel on purpose and on track. You feel confident and with that winning “just do it” attitude you begin your day.

Then it happens. It could be anything. An unpleasant conversation with a family member, friend, client or co-worker. You hear bad news on the radio or TV. You read a Tweet, email, a Facebook post or headline. Something you ate didn’t agree with you. You develop a headache. Or a negative thought simply pops into your head. It could be literally anything.

And suddenly, poof! That wonderful, “can do,” unstoppable, invincible feeling is gone. It vaporizes into thin air! That feeling that you could accomplish anything you set your mind to was just here a minute ago. Where did it go? You know longer feel what all the self help books you read told you – that you have seeds of greatness inside, that you are captain of your ship, master of your soul, you are the little engine that could.

A wave of anguish and despair comes over you. You can no longer focus on the task at hand. You have a heaviness in your chest so you let out a big sigh. You then feel a pit in your stomach. No matter how hard you try to keep a positive perspective and get your focus back the dark side wins out. The self doubt creeps in. It invades you not just with a annoying thought making you feel “not quite so sure anymore” but with a loud, authoritative voice in your head that says “You can’t do that. It’ll never work. You don’t know what you’re doing. You’re doing it all wrong. What were you thinking?” Then some version of the word “enough” barges into your stream of consciousness. You hear the thoughts “I’m not good enough. Smart enough. Talented enough. Brave enough. Strong enough. Confident enough. Worthy enough?” Yadda yadda yadda ya!

You’re caught in the proverbial “monkey mind” where your negative thoughts keep looping back around and cause you to literally feel the energy drain out of you. Discouragement has firmly re-established command of your being. You wallow around in this state for a while. Then when you can’t even stand to be in your head any longer you decide that you need to beat yourself up even more to snap yourself out of it. A good mental thrashing. That’ll do it. So you start in and admonish yourself for being so negative and wasting time on such pessimistic thoughts. (See how the monkey mind works?) You realize you got virtually nothing productive done, at least not where your goal is concerned. So you now decide to punish yourself further by forcing yourself to do something productive whether you like it or not.

OK, alright, alright already…

I’ll PUT on my tennies and go for a walk!

I’ll MAKE the sales calls!

I’ll OPEN my books and study!

I’ll GET back to my desk and work on my project!

And like a bratty child talking back to their parent you say to yourself “SEE. I’m doing it! Are you happy now?”

Have you ever been there? Agreeing to do what you think you “should” be doing and grumbling the whole time. Which brings me to the wonderful word “should.” Do you do things that are goal oriented because you want to do them or is it that you feel you should do them. Are you guilty of “shoulding” all over yourself?

Are you guilty of “shoulding” all over yourself?

We want to feel productive and have a sense of accomplishment but we can’t seem to decide what is the best use of our time. Confusion sets in. You feel stymied. Your head spins with “do this…no, do that.” You don’t know what to do next. The weight of the dilemma conjures up the negativity again. So what does one do?

Go online, of course. When the going gets tough the tough go surfing and shopping or binge watching. Or better yet check out our favorite social media site and make someone else feel good by “liking” the umteenth picture they posted of their kid. Yes, that feels good – superficial “liking” to show to everyone else what a positive, thoughtful, caring person I am. Oh and let’s not forget there’s always watching and laughing at the viral video of people running into poles while texting.

Yes, the internet is a great place to escape and avoid taking action. After all, laughter is the best medicine. It’s good for the soul. But like coming down from a sugar high we come crashing down from our computer generated chuckles to face the fact we haven’t made any progress toward what we said we we’re going to do earlier that morning. The realization that you just spent the last hour (or even longer as the case may be) in the black hole of the internet makes you grimace as you look at the clock. The power of procrastination got the best of you. URRRR!!

The power of procrastination got the best of you. URRRR!!

So how do you get out of your funk? What is your next step? Ah yes! You have a brilliant idea. You find your action plan (the one your coach had you create) and write the all hailed “to do list” for the day to get you back on track. You come up with five great tasks and you began with item #1 and commit to doing that “one thing.”

But, that one thing somehow has a mind of its own, doesn’t it? The “one thing” starts to take forever because since you haven’t worked on what you should be doing, you think, or better yet feel, (as you’re not thinking logically at this point) that whatever you’re going to work on you’re going to do it perfectly. Quality over quantity, right? Ah, the word perfect?! Yes, ladies and gentlemen this is now the moment when perfectionism has taken over and sabotaged your good intentions and has become even more powerful than the mighty art of internet procrastination. Drat! You have come to a screeching halt yet again.

But let’s not stop here when we’re on such a roll. You’re not finished torturing yourself quite yet. Between your negative thoughts, distractions, procrastination, and perfectionism you manage to now twist your mind into thinking the worst thought of all. “I’m lazy and can’t be held accountable. What if I never do what I say I want to do?” Oh God! NO!! That feels worse than trying, albeit lamely, and coming up short. “No!” You tell yourself. “I’m not going to give up. Quit! Never! I’m not a quitter!!!”

Quit? Never! I’m not a quitter!!!”

You vow to get back on the horse and muster up the energy to give it another try. Which you do. You pull out some motivational material and repeat the appropriate affirmations 100 times in the mirror. And you begin once more. But over time, like it has happened a million times in the past, you’re right back where you started. Face to face against the almighty, impenetrable, invisible wall. Feeling defeated, an underachiever and unfulfilled.

Want to find out how what’s stopping you and break through the invisible wall?