What The World Needs Now: Wooden Knives

I’m not quite sure what random winds of Internet navigation blew me to visit the website that sells these wooden fast-food knives, but I can’t resist the temptation to bring you All Things Edged. Even when it’s not terribly edgy . . .

Wooden knives are probably perfect for spreading hummus on your pita bread, but how would one of them stand up to our knife test protocol? Let me take a wild guess:

Paper cutting? No. It might be able to stab through newsprint, but then again maybe it can’t.

Rope cutting? It’s a definite possibility that you could cut through a rope with wooden knives, but you would probably use up all 3,000 wooden knives doing so.

Cardboard slicing? Once again it’s possible, but cutting performance would be measured in ‘knives per foot’ instead of ‘feet per knife.’

You won’t see me packing these as my EDC knives, but look on the bright side: they’re disposable, cheap and will sail right through metal detectors.