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funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

With a great deal of my family hailing from the land of milk and honey, I feel as though I can say that the people of the Utah State Fair probably wouldn’t have a great impression of fine art and how to handle it.

well then, if the people attending the Utah State Fair are not touching the art work, then the animals must be…what is that saying about the patrons? Were I the ‘people’ who have been touching the art, I’d file a discrimination suit against the curator! He is obviously calling them animals. ’0′

*stretch stretch stretching to drag the serious hat out of the far back corner of the chaos closet*

*begins violent coughing and sneezing fit*

Whew! This thing is dusty! And grimy. I’m getting hives–and at least one infection–just from holding it…

Some museums / galleries /studios will arrange special tours for the visually impaired. With the aid (and strict guidance) of staff, while wearing the same special pristine white cotton gloves said staff uses to handle the art, the VI, basically, get to grope the art. This gives them a way to share in certain types of art, like sculpture and paintings (with elaborate raised textures of detailed brushwork, which many less impaired people have to fight NOT to touch. Or maybe that’s just us art geeks.)

This does nothing for ‘modern’ ‘installations’, such as a random deliberately blurry slideshow, or an actual pile of garbage.

I stopped visiting my local museum when one of the ‘works’ was a pile of, hmmm, maybe ten or so fast food cup tops, with straws still skewering them. The info tag reported it’s name as ‘Untitled’. Of course. In my view, if you can’t / didn’t name it, you aren’t even pretending to be fucking trying. The tag also revealed it had been bought by the government for 75k.Or 100k. It might have been more. I was literally almost blacking out with rage at that point, so…

As a professional writer and artist, I have so many of my peers, who are super talented, and can’t place their work. Or sell it for almost nothing. In fact, they don’t make enough to buy the fast food to ‘make’ the scam crap, and yet they were forced to buy *taxes) this ridic garbage.

Major rage.

I did get some comfort. After making the loop of the room, I discovered someone had–surely accidentally–kicked the ‘installation’ to the four winds. And they, or perhaps the next patron, had picked up {most of) the ones near the waste bin and tossed them in.

No one appreciates litter. Or garbage.

I wonder how many times per day the twits who had bought this crap–with not-their-own-money, natch–had to scrape it out of the trash.

Whatever, it wasn’t enough. Even if the trash included diapers and worse.

Annnnnyway, clearly, they don’t make / let the blind touch that. They probably got tired of being punched afterwards.

(Note: If you made it through, this frickin essay has met your mreading quota for the day. Congrats!)

I didn’t miss the joke; I had just recently read about museums attempts to be more accessible, and I thought it was worth passing along. Especially since–and here I’ll try not to get too technical in my terms–my experience is most people go out of their way to be asshats, not to be helpful.

I identify my peers as artists, because they make art. Most of them sell it, at standard ‘professional’ rates. But most of them also hold more than one day job.

Analysts say it’s this crap economy, and use the old ‘art is a luxury’ argument. The economy has been crap my whole life. It will be crap when the earth is eaten by the sun, or the sun burns out whichever comes first.

Point: Government sponsored art is insane. Since the twits aren’t spending their own money, you get them stumbling along, thinking art is anything ‘edgy’, and you get the cup lids. The same exhibit also had another ‘installation: dollar store fake vomit glued to the floor, the ceiling, the walls.

And outside, we have government sponsored sculptures, that look like a random heap of metal fell off the recycling truck, and rather than pick it back up, they just bolted it down to rust.

So,it’s not just the insult to honed skills and creativity, it’s giving a huge whack of tax dollars to scan artists.

And those? I think most can agree it’s not the type of art they want to support…

@MD…When a cat we cared about a looongg time ago never came home,
I had no problem facing up to the likelihood that its death had been the result of a too-close encounter with a vehicle or a pack of coyotes.

In the case of your local museum, I find it easier to believe that the money figure on the info tag was part of some kind of psychological experiment.

I lived in two places where there was serious controversy about the cost of a couple outdoor art installations, so I know that the reality might be exactly as you describe…but 10 or so cup lids with straws ??

@CB…Super-talented artists sell. Undoubtedly, this is often true.
However, for a variety of reasons, in many cases they do not sell.
I’m no guru on the art scene or history, but Van Gogh comes to mind.

Sometimes people in government purchasing jobs buy inferior goods
with public funds and often they receive kickbacks from the vendors.

No, it’s more special than being awarded “Greasiest Pre-Bacon” because the ribbon for “Bestest Art” totally has glitter and bedazzling on it. I think they might’ve gotten the ribbon off Etsy. Now that shit is fucking classy.

So maybe animals haven’t figured out not to touch, but the fact that they’ve evolved enough to read AND show up to art exhibits is impressive. Do we really need to rub in the fact that we have better manners than them?

I watched a grown woman rub her hands over a oil painting at Windsor Castle. If I would’ve been closer to her in line I would’ve smacked her hand down off of the painting. And I would’ve smacked the cellphone out of the hand of the woman taking a picture, I did see someone confront her and she said “it’s not a camera it’s a phone” (you can’t take pictures, eat, or talk on your cell phone in the castle). It drives me nuts when I see people doing things like this. Let’s all go to the zoo and take pictures with the flash on at animals who are in darkened rooms. Sounds like a great idea!

that sign alone… and the dulcet tones exuded by the endless loop of Donny & Marie’s version of Hammer’s cautionary tune lulled the viewers into a bucolic state of eyes-only enthrallment that was in perfect synch with the hogs, chickens, and cows next door.

I used to work at a (very) fine art museum. One day, Tony Randall was there with the woman who eventually became his wife. He was touching the (fine) art. I was too abashed to actually tell him to stop it, so instead I went into gushing fan mode, and asked to shake his hand (you know; the one that had just been touching the painting). He was a douchebag about it all.

If I had the chance to do it all over again, I’d have just yelled at him like I should have.

I’ve actually just finished my masters dissertation on the issues of people touching stuff in museums they shouldn’t. It didn’t really include paintings specifically, but people DO and WILL touch stuff even (and sometimes especially) when asked not to. Finding the right signage to discourage this kind of interaction is tricky.

I’ve worked at a few art museums and noncommercial art galleries and have seen many, many people touch artwork. I have even witnessed people dragging their hands across paintings as though they’re stroking a cat. Despite the frequency, I’m still shocked every time I see it.

Some museums have alarms that sound when someone steps closer than arm’s length towards a work. Brilliant.

I don’t believe this here signage was generated by any genuine IA born individual. This is the work of some ‘high minded, red wine drinkin’,douchebaggery, east coast-type’. Everyone knows ‘art,fine or otherwise’ is in the eye of the beholder. Shameful.

But do they? I want to a museum with a friend’s mom where we were reminded to touch only with our eyes. And still the evening ended with about 3 security personnel approaching us exclaiming “you can’t touch anything at a museum!” I would have reminded her but I don’t like to correct my elders.

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"The thing that drives me bonkers at work is to open up the trash can drawer and see a cup half-full of water that was carefully placed into the trash can so it doesn't spill--in a trash can an arm's length away from the kitchen sink!

99% of the people in my office are college graduates, probably toward the top of their class. But some without enough common sense to pour the water in the sink before putting the cup into the trash can.