Greenwell confessed to the egregious crime during the brief period after being discharged and before being reenlisted, when many falsely believe they are not subject to the Uniform Code of Military Justice or the laws of human decency.

“I’ve heard a few staff sergeants and gunnies call their company commanders by their first names, and one time a master guns whistled at an attractive female captain — she put him in a chokehold — but this was a first for me,” said Lt. Col. Jason Lopez, Greenwell’s battalion commander.

The train wreck that was Greenwell’s reenlistment ceremony continued after the initial bomb was dropped, when he added, “Also, sometimes I walk around in my office with my hands in my pockets, and … I … haven’t actually memorized the Staff NCO creed.”

Following that admission, the battalion sergeant major had to be rushed to the hospital with a ruptured aneurysm. As he was whisked away by paramedics, he could be heard gasping out, “General Luhjurn … rolling over in his grave.”

1st Lt. Mike Marshall, the battalion adjutant, put an end to the horror by calling attention to orders and reading the certificate of reenlistment.

Not all were equally traumatized by the revelations of the ceremony, however, and an inspired lance corporal could be heard quietly rehearsing his own speech about not wearing his cover while walking out to his car that one time.