you have to be a little bit crazy to survive

Entries tagged with thief

I'd just watched the movie Inside Man before falling asleep, and this is clearly influenced by that. Logic was messed up the whole time, but I think I was part of a news crew who was trying to interview a preteen male kid who had caught home-video footage of the start of the bank robbery, except this time it was one guy on the side of the street who started telling people to get down and pushing them down on the ground. If he was supposed to be a distraction or what, I have no idea.

The bank robber didn't seem to mind the kid taking video and it's almost like he found the boy amusing. I vaguely remember more footage the kid shot for fun later of his footage going viral over news networks, but the only channel he'd been able to find on a random TV was something like Faux News so the content there was obviously biased and obnoxious.

Then the dream rewound and I was the kid. This must have been after the initial recording was completed and uploaded, because I was in an inside room in a location that dream logic couldn't decide on: sometimes it was on a higher floor of the bank building and sometimes it was in a building nearby. For the bank version, I almost got the feeling the initial robber guy just let me chill there while he moved off elsewhere to do bank-robber things, and it was later established as a safe zone that police and media could move through in the building.

But right now I was still alone. I was watching the random television I'd found and waiting to see what news show caught on first to the robbery footage. I decided to change channels until I found ABC's main network and saw a notice saying the news hour was coming up within moments. As it started, they had a bit of an intro sequence but the cameras stayed dark. Hmmm were they picking up late-breaking news and scrambling to get it running?

Yep, the next thing to play on the screen was my video surrounded by a graphic that was branded with the ABC logo and whatnot, and the voice of a news-lady could be heard talking about my video and the robbery. The weird thing is, dream logic failed badly and the video actually looked like some kind of oldschool Duke Nukem-ish game's gameplay (in fact I remember thinking that's exactly what it was, and somehow that made sense while in the dream). I held up the tablet I'd apparently filmed the original video on, and started filming the news show for posterity.

It was around this time the news crew from the first part of the dream appeared, and someone said, "Are we going to get a mic on this kid?" and someone else was like, "Yeah." At this point it was hard to focus, and my point of view kept changing around various characters. I remember some issue trying to figure out what the kid's name was, and from the kid's perspective, I was having trouble figuring out what name to use. I vaguely remember "Ned" being a possibility, though at one point I wanted to say "Nev" (pronounced NEEV) but I realized that would probably get mixed up with the guy who hosts the MTV show based on the movie Catfish.

This started as a roleplay at the forum I've been playing at lately, and the RP in question was a Dungeons & Dragons style thing. You could navigate around the dungeon by following links to different threads, and each thread had a small picture in it (in shades of light blue and white) that showed what sort of area the passage looked like. Mostly it was just maze parts, passages, choices for corners, stuff like that.

We (the other players and I) got to a point where we knew the next area was important, and I think we must have been chatting via AIM because we said we better wait for the person who was in charge of the RP (Beastiewolf, apparently) to get online because we'd need her around to run the next bit.

Then it was like I was actually in the dungeon, transformed into my character for the RP, a human version of Shane who I think was supposed to be set up like a 4th Edition D&D rogue. (The problem with that is that I made her a Tiefling for that version, with some multiclass plans in the warlock direction, but dreams don't require logic anyways.) It was like we had gone ahead without the RP-running person (logic fails again) and decided to explore the area anyways. We found one area that extended over a large pit, and in the center of the room was a round area we could get to over a flat bridge. There was something really nasty out there, possibly a minotaur but I'm not sure now. We managed to upset it and it chased the warrior (who's perspective I had for a moment as he went after it with his kickass 2-handed sword) and then it chased him down the hall and I was now on the far side of it.

I decided to keep exploring since I wasn't entirely sure where the monster or my partymate had gotten to being as it was oddly foggy in the dungeon and a bit on the dark side (hmm, weren't there more people in my party?). Elsewhere in another cave I found a bunch of kobolds and evil dwarves guarding some chests. One of the chests happened to be partly behind a rock, and I snuck over and picked the lock and managed to loot the contents (clear gems) without anyone noticing me. I even walked right straight back through the bad guys and ran off, thinking in my head "Hide In Plain Sight FTW!" (4e rogue skill lol.)

I think I managed to find my party again but I'm not sure, logic was failing so badly by that point that things were starting to merge together into subconscious soup.

(In the previous dream, the criminal activities were jeapordized by my own incompetence. But in this dream, the incompetence was on the part of others.)

I was part of a team planning to steal a ton of money. It seemed to be some sort of ransom, I remember police putting lots of money in a large, bright orange trash can in the middle of a city intersection like we instructed them to. I knew they were expecting to catch us and also keep the money. What they didn't know was that the trash can could move...

A distraction closeby gave the trash can the time it needed. Or more precisely, the person hidden inside the trash can who could pilot the thing. I became that person in the dream at this point, and managed to get the trash can at least a block or two away, behind a building. There was a wide open expanse of grass here for some reason, but I got out of the trash can by the side of the building and got out a can of silver spray paint. It was fast-drying, I coated the trashcan with it turning it grey (silver in my mind, in the dream, but upon waking I know it was non-metallic grey). Now the cops would have no clue where their orange trash can went.

I got back in and "drove" the trash can along the side of the building back to the street. There was an embankment of grass up to the road, and I tipped the trash can so it fell on it's side, somewhat diagonal on the slope. Now the can just looked like so much junk someone hadn't bothered to clean up. The lid was open a crack, and I watched the street for the getaway car that was supposed to be coming. Time was important even with my trash can being grey now... but the car wasn't showing. Someone was screwing up their end of the job.

There was a plan B, so I got out of the trash can dressed in a big blue fluffy bunny suit (when did I change into this thing?? lol). The money went into a trash bag, but I noticed that the wads of money could be identified because of how they pressed into the sides of the garbage bag. There was another bag made of a blue tarp and I put this over the first bag. Now I looked like some weird Easter Bunny meets Santa Clause concept.

I started walking along the road and for a moment stuck my thumb out thinking maybe I should just hitch my way outa this mess and meet up with the gang later. An RV with a family drove by and started to slow... I noticed that the woman in the passenger seat had a very cop-looking shirt on (without the rest of the uniform doodads) and figured I'd just wave them on and keep walking. Something told me she really was a cop. That was a chance I couldn't take.

I decided to hoof it and along the way someone asked me what was in the bag. I said something like, "Presents for the kiddies!" and I knew there were some stuffed animals and toys in the top of the bag to help with the disguise if someone actually called my bluff.

My (real) parents were on a car trip, but it was like we all in the Great Depression era. We even had a car from then, one of those mobster looking things (the hit-man car that the modern PT Cruiser is modelled after). We stopped at a place to stay for the night, and I remember it being cold outside but still daylight. Inside the hotel was a line, a very long line. Everyone was sorta hunkered down along a hallway, with a blanket around them if they were lucky enough to have one. Then this lady who musta been the manager/owner scurried by, saying to herself quite audibly, "At least I have the alimony payment" over and over. I think she said something before that too, as she came in, like, "I can't do this I can't deal with this anymore."

I turned to Dad, who was crammed in an alcove behind me with other people, and I said, "That's not smart, she shouldn't talk like she's got money around a bunch of strangers, she's putting herself in danger. I guess she could have meant that she'd just successfully made an alimony payment, but the odds are entirely greater that she's the one with the cash." Dad said something in agreement.

I decided to follow her, worried she was gonna get in trouble. I managed to stop her outside the hotel, and asked if there was something I could do to help. At this point I was morphing into a sort of freelance detective character (still female, still kinda with my real personality). The lady said that the hotel's reputation was on the line, that someone had stolen a diamond necklace from one of the tenants. I asked who'd been in and out of the place lately, and the lady said there was one black kid named Scamp who hung around a lot (at least I think that's his name... something like that... Scat? Scraps? not sure).

Suddenly I knew he'd done it, call it gut feeling or whatever. I just had to find him and see what he'd done with it. I told the lady not to worry, that I'd take care of this, and asked if the tenant had reported the theft to the police yet. The lady said no, and I said "good" because Scamp would be less likely to be nervous if the cops weren't crawling all over the town looking for a thief.

I had no car and no driver's license, so I walked. I checked my pocket for coins and realized that in Great Depression standards I had a small fortune in coins in my pocket, even though it was just a little bit of change by today's standards. I knew I could use a taxi for a penny to get anywhere in town, and for two pennies I was certain any cabby would drive me all over for however long it took. I walked past my Dad who was bicycling down the main street for some reason (like he belonged in this town?) and then I got a taxi.

I stopped at a jewelry store and asked if anyone had sold or tried to sell a diamond necklace here recently. "No." Had anyone seen Scamp around? "Yes, he's over at the laundromat a lot." So I went there and saw him across this big room of washers and dryers. He was talking to himself, working out his own code of holes in the wall, and by pressing the right one he openned a secret compartment in the wall. He hid something in a small box that came out of it (like a CD player ejecting it's tray, but the box came out completely) and then closed it again.

I went up to him, pretending I hadn't seen the secrets (there were three compartments total). First I talked to him, making him trust me and feel safe with me. Then I convinced him to give up the goods, and I openned the third compartment (I knew which one probably had jewelry from watching earlier). I asked him if one necklace was the diamond one missing from the hotel, but I had guessed wrong and he pointed out the correct one. It was a diamond set in a open heart shape made of gold, and the chain was gold too. I put that necklace in my right front pocket of my shirt so I wouldn't get it mixed up again. I said I'd help him return the rest of the stolen jewelry too. One of the other compartments had stuff that was actually his, just little odds and ends like pieces of ribbon. He started to tell me about his sister. He said, "You know my sister's depressed, right?" She was poor too, and spent all her time in her room. She seemed to be getting sicker and sicker. Everone expected her to just sorta pine away and die, like there was no way to help her.

I went to visit the sister and saw her room was awfully decorated in puke green and a color I like to call "grandma orange." I guess she liked green and orange together, but I knew just the decor alone had to be making her depression worse. I found a pillow that had a pattern of orange flowers on green leaves, and I said, "How would you like to see your room completely made over in this green" and I pointed to an almost lime-green, "and this orange" and I pointed to a matching neon orange. (Very Target/Ikea-like, or fairly typical "Bed In A Bag" bedding color options.) I was already thinking of patterns for the bedding and accessories. The girl seemed interested, and I knew this makeover would be a huge breath of fresh air for her. Plus, we'd be getting her all new clothes and a hair makeover too. This was starting to feel like one of those extreme makeover shows, and the Great Depression era was fading into modern times.

And then that's exactly what it was. I was the host of a makeover show, and I'd become a black lady. I was standing on the porch of the house the following morning talking to the girl's mother and aunt or someone like that (they were all black too, of course, since Scamp was black in the first place and this was his family). The women were sitting around on the patio furniture. I said, "Now, we've got a lot to do, lots of shopping to get done, so I better get started." And I was going to go in and get the girl.