I thank everyone for their support. I still believe that in America, we can make fun of incompetent general managers in song, and that we ought to put more time and energy toward that pursuit. If I could have done anything differently, I would have made it clear that attempting to look like a badass on an NYC street corner was my backup picture, and that the teddy bear pose was my primary photograph. I concede the Brown Boy Primary to Jon Pyle and pledge to support him in his race through the bracket.

David- You can feel good about your performance. I pulled out every dirty trick that I knew, including lowering your credit score by signing you up for every credit card imaginable. So, when American Express calls you’ll know why. I may have won this round, but I needed to sacrifice my dignity to do it.