Fresh off his stellar performance on “Dancing with the Stars,” Jason Taylor is here to tell you he did NOT demand a trade from the Dolphins.

But he also hasn’t spoken to Bill Parcells and did say he wants to play just one more season before moving on to what is sure to be an awesome acting career. I mean, he’s following in the the footsteps of former football players like Howie Long and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (so many lame movies it’s hard to know where to start). So I’m sure greatness beckons in Hollywood.

Aside: This is why I hate the NFL offseason. I understand that as a sporting culture we Americans as a whole are obsessed with our version of football in a way only rivaled by the European version of football. That’s fine.

This, however, is a fucking joke. He called a press conference to clear the air about, uh, nothing? HE CALLED A PRESS CONFERENCE? And of course we had to suckle at the teet of his information dispenser.

I mean, for the love of God. Why should anyone care if he’s having a spat with management and isn’t going to show up to some meaningless (to fans) offseason workouts?