Me: “Clearly. Would you like me to help you purchase tickets to a specific show?”

Customer: “Yes. I guess.”

Me: “What play?”

Customer: “Belleville.”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. The entire run of Belleville is sold-out.”

Customer: “No it isn’t.”

Me: “Yes. It is.”

Customer: “Says who?”

Me: “Says me.”

Customer: “I WANT THOSE TICKETS! I WANT THEM NOW!”

Me: “Ma’am, there’s nothing I can do. The play is sold-out, and I would suggest that you calm down as tickets to an off-Broadway play aren’t nearly as important as things like a roof over one’s head or food on one’s table.”