hooking up on the ethers

Category Archives: internet dating

It’s been some time since I wrote about my guy friend, and
there are several reasons for this rather long gap…
When I last was recounting our time together, I had just
arrived in Rio for the second visit, to be a lengthy one, and
re-entry was becoming difficult for many reasons.
I stopped mid story, because frankly it was so completely
depressing me, and it was confusing, and draining, to be
taken back to such an emotional six months stay.

Rio has such romance and magic, and particularly for me in
the last 28 years, because of a Brasilian I met waaaay back
in the Eighties…. ah yes, the party decade!
He was diving for Urchins, I was a local, a friend brought him
to dinner, and the rest just unfolded as it did. Great chemistry,
great romance, excitement, charm and mystery.
Then he vanished, as he used to love to do, and then two years
later, called me from Rio, to tell me that he loved me.
Then more years…. and then finding eachother on the internet,
making plans to meet, a month long visit, crazy mad love,
plans to return….. a painful year, at least for me…. and then
at last an extended stay. We planned to marry… or at least
be together in a new way.

So there we are… we have some context as to the ‘picking up
where we left off’ part. But see, there’s a catch… during this
interum, while I put away the turmoil, the ugliness, the long
and terrible confusions of to stay or not to stay…. and trying
hard to figure out this very convoluted man…. a completely
unforseen thing happened.
He emailed me…………..
Yes……. out of the Blue….. and here he is, briefly touching
in, with deep and sincere apologies, and wishes to perhaps
be able to converse. I soon agreed, and we began what is still
going on today… long and heartfelt conversations via SKYPE,
with the most delightful videos, the most touching shares.
And that was Nine months ago…. hmmm? rebirth?
He is living on his boat in Norway, soon to throw himself to
the wind, literally and as he is fond of doing. And so there’s
more stories to tell, videos to enjoy, and a new blog site
in the future.

The true miracle of all of this is…. we have become real friends.
When you are ‘in love’ with someone, you know it will change
and turn into something else…. but to move from all of that
to Being Friends, and sharing things that really mean something…
Well, that my friends is an impossible Wish Granted.

Long ago in a far away land there was a girl. She was a rather pretty girl, but she wasn’t so sure about that.
Still, as time went by, she became more pretty to herself,
and things started paying off.

Boys flocked for miles around, just for the chance to kneel at her feet and
buy her popcorn.

Years went by. Lots of years.

Then one day, she realized she was old. Not just older…. Old.

She remembered those things she’d read, the ones about being an older woman, and how you suddenly become invisible to men.
So she decided to try it out.

She’s at a bar. She walks up and stands there. And stands there. …
and stands some more……Hmmmmm
She raises her eyebrows as she lightly lifts her hand in the air…
(make it soft… non demanding… I know older women can be known as bitches to some).. . and she IS short, after all. Maybe…..maybe their scans didn’t reach below 5’5….. Hmm..nope. Nothin…..
She leans on her elbow, mildly irritated, broadcasting a Toe Tappin’ – Hair Pullin sorta feeling…..
….a ‘bring that bad boy over to me Now’ sort of look …..nope, not the ticket.

Hair toss. Tilt head and softly smile. “Um….Helllloooo!? Can I get a drink?” …. Twirl hair, wishing there was gum to pop right now….

How ‘Bout Lean Waaaay in, stick out arm and Grab the Barboy by
one of his appendages …..?

Am I here? she asks herself, squinting in the mirror through the bottles….

Hmmmm…guess so. … Guess they were right. I can see me, but something has happened to those guys’ eyes….

Strange… it wasn’t that long ago that they tripped over eachother to
do her bidding. It wasn’t that long that there would come knocks at the door with no warning…

Across the crowded room moments…. The Sparkletts water man going into trance over my face moments. Oh yes, and the time some mysterious fellow sent drinks over….. while sitting at the far end of the bar….. with his wife….!

What to do? Not that I’m desperate, not nearly as much as I was when it was so easy.

But it would be nice to have someone to go to the movies with…..
…eat dinner with, cuddle with.
So what does this place offer for someone like me, at this point in life….

Senior Dating! That’s the ticket. Oh ya… must be a ton of other oldies but goodies,

And I’m so damned clever, I’m bound to attract a few keepers….

So I’ll tell ya…. If nothing else, it’s good for some story telling.

And so began this little blog of mine…. The one about the Ones that Got Away, Won’t Go away, Got it Going, or Wished they could.

I admit it. I am putting off going into my storage, my deep dark pile of the past, and retrieving those journals that strip me bare, and tell me word for word just what transpired, long time past.

Yes, I wrote them for myself. Yes, I am curious. Yes, I wonder how my memories stack up against what I wrote in the moment. I also want really badly to put aside such deep and emotional touchings right now. Why… ? because I have armored myself against the hurt. Yes, Me…. The one always ready for feeling… I have just reached some sort of limit in my life, and have finally become protective of Myself.

And this is not a bad thing. No, indeed. I have just now learned the lesson that I might have well learned long time past, when I was young and full of so much…

So do not despair, those of you who await the next chapter, the next word, the next Phase… they will come…..but…. frankly, it’s All a phase, Dear Reader…. and it will come, but….

Just accept the fact…. It’s All a phase, every single day, every single chapter, every single decade………it will pass, and something new and unknown will come along, something you never even dreamed of, and it will overtake your being, your heart, your spirit, and you will say in retrospect…. Damn! That was the Best!

Well my dears, another year has passed, and here we are at this festive family day. I am waiting for my grandchildren to knock at my door, to lead me back to the family tree, piles of presents, and cappuccino…

This afternoon we travel to my brother’s where his girlfriend is holding an open house, and we all sit down to a grand dinner they have planned… we are bringing Caesar Salad, to go with the Steak and Potatoes and Green Beans with Almonds……and there will be how many of us? Shana and her family…. 4…. Tod and his family….4…. Chris and Cynthia and Me…. that makes 11. Add a few of their close friends, and what a gathering!

I send you all Dear and Merry Thoughts of Times of Yore, and also of the New Year soon to be upon us. May it bring Joy and Light to this wonderful Planet, and to all who sit upon it. We are so blessed with so many Creatures of Delight, waterways and skies, forests and woodlands, canyons and deserts, and our own little nests and homes that hold what is dear to us.

May there be Peace…. Love…. and Light… Enfolding this Miracle that is Life.

So where the heck has she been, they ask. Or at least she hopes they ask… well, for one thing I was semi coma-ed under the influence of turkey… but you were too, so likely never noticed. But there are other things I’ve been tending to…

Last time we talked, I was expounding on the virtues of Options. And I decided that talk was cheap, and actions were what was needed. For me, options have to do with flow…. and the flow of the month is Cash. And it’s working! The universe has provided me with some flow options, and believe me, it feels great!

I’ve been selling things on ebay for other people, and I like it. I have interesting people to relate with, fun things to look at and learn about, and interesting cash to play with. Me Likey. What has been coming to mind is an old quote from May West. I once did a sexy song that a friend of mine wrote, and amidst beaded dress and feathers, I was known as May Zest. Great fun…

Anywayzzzz… on to her quote, her quote aimed at Women:

“In your Teens, you need good parents…. In your Twenties, you need good looks…. In your Thirties you need a good personality…. and in your Forties and beyond, you need Good Hard Cash.”

Now, since that was a long time ago, and we live longer and stay younger, I would like to insert minor changes…. Perhaps in your Thirties, you would need Good Friends… and then move the Good Personality to the Forties, and leave the Hard Cash to your Fifties and beyond. But however it plays out, you get the idea. Women, after a certain age, are much more respected if they have a house and lots of money. Period. They can get a young lover, even move him in, and they have Options.

See? aren’t I clever? It all leads back to the subject at hand, which not only has to do with Options, but also Women in this culture, and …. here we go…. getting older, age, and the differences between men and women.

More in a bit. I promise… no really. Stay warm, and hold on to the light.

….oh, and one more thing: I Quit that Stupid Dating Site…. more later. There are lots of stories to come of things I learned while virtually dating.