Today we celebrate International Bereaved Mother’s Day. We honor precious children that have died and their Mothers whose love and bravery are to be respected and commended. The loss of a child is one of the most painful experiences a person can endure. At the same time, speaking for myself, I would never erase my pain. It is evidence of love. It speaks to the short but meaningful life of my first son, Zachary. Yes, my memories are tinged with sadness, but more so they are shrouded with love. Do you notice my theme here? LOVE Love is what binds us. Love sustains us. Love is the answer to the heart’s longings. Love is what keeps our loved ones alive. My Mom is a wise lady. I respect and admire her, as much as we butt heads many days. Mom always tells...

One thing I have noticed since losing my son, Zachary, is how I appreciate milestones more deeply. I love celebrating the birthdays, and other special days, of my two rainbow babies and my daughter, who was one-year-old when Zach passed away. So too am I grateful to wish my “book baby” a very happy birthday. One year ago today, I published my memoir, called Expecting Sunshine: A Journey of Grief, Healing and Pregnancy After Loss (She Writes Press, April 18, 2017). When I look back on this past year, I realize there are many important lessons that I have learned. These revelations grew out of my challenging season of grief, the newness of slow-earned healing, and the process of writing, editing, and publishing my story. Five Lessons on the Birthday...

I am thrilled to welcome back to Wanted Chosen Planned Jenny Albers! She is graciously giving us what I might call PART 2 to her initial guest post about losing her baby, called “Grateful Despite the Grief” (click here to read it). I appreciate the vantage point Jenny takes when viewing life. With no further delay, here we go. Healing, But Not Whole Healed. A word that, according to Merriam-Webster, means to “make free from injury or disease: to make sound or whole.” After three years of missing my baby, Micah, I don’t believe I will ever be completely healed. My heart has a permanent injury, a hole that will never be filled. And our family is missing one, making wholeness an impossibility. But time has allowed for healing,...

Today I share a special guest post by Jenny Albers here on Wanted Chosen Planned. Welcome Jenny – and welcome everyone reading this! We are just a few days into the new year and it is a perfect time to share powerful stories of the “new normal” lives we find ourselves in after loss – and a perfect time to celebrate the children who are not with us. Grateful Despite the Grief: I found out I was pregnant in October 2014, after experiencing an ectopic pregnancy earlier in the year. As much as I would like to say that I immediately began plans for bringing a baby home, something just didn’t feel right. Despite a number of ultrasounds that confirmed all was well, I remained skeptical. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that...

Today I welcome Elizabeth Thoma on Wanted Chosen Planned for a special guest post. The power of storytelling is this: We realize we are not alone. We see that other people have survived what seems insurmountable. We learn how to cope and even thrive after loss. I am grateful for all the vulnerable guest stories shared on WCP. I am grateful – today specifically – for Oberon and his short but precious life. Oberon’s Story: Three years ago at this time, my son Oberon was home in hospice care. We knew he was going to die, but we didn’t know when. If you saw our home now, decorated for the holidays, you’d probably think everything was OK. It isn’t. Yes, there is joy in our house, but there is still heavy sadness and grief. We have “two...

I welcome Julie Bindeman here on Wanted Chosen Planned for a special guest post today. All stories shared on WCP may prove to be triggers for other grievers. I want to preface this post by saying that everyone’s experiences of loss are different; we all make different choices and grieve in our own unique ways. Termination is a sensitive topic for many. A controversial topic. I welcome Julie’s story here – and the stories of others – because this is a safe place and I believe that there is power in breaking the taboo around the conversation of loss, weather we agree or not. Wanted Chosen Planned is “no-judgement” zone. Here is Julie’s story: When my son was about 18 months old, my husband and I decided that it was time to...

Alexis Marie Chute

My name is Alexis Marie. Thank you for visiting Wanted Chosen Planned.
My son Zachary died in my arms moments after his birth. His short life transformed every part of who I am. As an artist, photographer and writer I have found healing through creative expression. Wanted, Chosen, Planned is my legacy for Zach.

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Expecting Sunshine is a story about love, loss, and the enduring bond between parent and child, all framed within the 40 weeks of the subsequent pregnancy.