From my self-reported anecdotes over the decades, only one MW reported being from what she described as a healthy home life by the OP's standards. However, she had, not by parental example, her own battle with the bottle which she ultimately lost at a young age, under 50. After nearly 20 years, apparently her H had tired of the behaviors, and especially the boozing, and they divorced. She died a few years later.

IMO, as we're all individuals, it's an individual thing. Nature and nurture may play some role, sure, but it comes down to the individual.

Myself, any proclivities I may have had came from immersion in it as an adult. Without that peer experience, based solely on nature (genetics) and nurture (parenting and parental example), infidelity was an anathema. My goal was one and done like my parents. Shocker once out there in the real world. Oh, my.

I'm just asking if it's significantly more likely for a spouse from a divorced family to get divorced themselves vs spouse who didn't. Also wondering how much infidelity of parents impacts child's behavior when married. Also abuse, neglect..

Oh, and I want to say is the other part that was cut out was that my title was awful. You should never say "all"!So sorry about that and sorry if I offended anyone . Everyone is an individual. Just wondering others@ experiences. Thank you

Oh, and I want to say is the other part that was cut out was that my title was awful. You should never say "all"!So sorry about that and sorry if I offended anyone . Everyone is an individual. Just wondering others@ experiences. Thank you

Moderators note that I took the liberty of clarifying the title after reading this post. ~T

lt is def' a huge thing and part in WS, not all of it but a huge part. Doesn't mean if we are from a broken family or bad child hood we'll take off but it is def' a huge part of many.
Found out about all that in the divorce forum l was in.
Nearly every WS in there and there were 1,000s , did come from a broken childhood , divorced parents and all kinds of stuff like that.
Make of that what you like but it was def' a huge thing.
They also specialized in MLC in that forum too and nearly all the spouses male or female that MLC'd in their late 30s to 50s , also nearly all came from troubled childhoods or divorced families.

lt's a no brainer , we're meant to be raised in a happy solid family unit. That's just the natural foundation and preparation for a kid and for adulthood.
Still doesn't mean we don't go wrong later but it's the best start we can have.

I'm just asking if it's significantly more likely for a spouse from a divorced family to get divorced themselves vs spouse who didn't.

My siblings and I are all D (though I have since remarried). Our parents “stayed together for the kids” but split immediately the youngest had left home. Interestingly, two of us had already D by then. So I’d say D or not, but also whether or not they _should_. It benefits no one to “stay together for the kids”. Either you have a good M, a good family life and provide a good loving home for kids, or you separate and each provide a good loving home for kids, separately. Bring up kids in a do,estic war zone is infinitely worse than D, IME.

How many people can you find who don't have some form of sadness in their childhoods, though? And just as we talk about people rewriting history to make their marriages bad and forget the good, people in some sad circumstances will look back at their pasts and pick out the bad parts that might have somehow led them to where they are. You need a very broad statistical sample and rigorous sampling tools to get accurate data.

Also, being more likely to get divorced is a different question than being more likely to cheat. I believe there is solid data showing that kids from divorced families are more likely to divorce, but that does not necessarily mean that they cheat and it does not necessarily mean that those divorces are bad. Knowing that divorce is possible could make it easier to get out of a bad marriage that you need to get out of, where being raised to believe that divorce is always 100% wrong could make people feel more trapped in terrible marriages that they really ought to leave.

As for personal anecdotes and not meaningful data:

My parents divorced, it sucked, and it meant I grew up being afraid to get married because I don't want to be disappointed or to disappoint anyone else. But there was no abuse, no alcoholism, no misery, no neglect, I think we were pretty normal. I'm still a little bitter about it all and kind of estranged from the parent who left.

My MM's parents divorced, and it meant he grew up afraid to ever end a relationship, because he doesn't want to abandon anyone so he's always the one who gets dumped, over and over again. Again, no abuse or alcoholism or neglect. And he's very conciliatory towards the parent who left.

We have similar circumstances but our reactions to them are very different.

Personally I think you'd be really limiting your dating pool sticking to only those who had a 2 parent family their whole life. Well unless you are dating mostly guys who grew up in other parts of the world.

My parents married 56yrs before we lost em.
but it was no picnic through a lot of that and they went full circle by their 80s.
Strange though , l just remembered ,when l was 16 and they were so miserable around then, l wanted them to get a divorce so that they might be happy.
But , a zillion yrs later and they were doting on each other again, just goes to show , they don't makem like they use to right,

And yes I have cheated. Now I usually try hard to never point fingers. It's not my parents fault, it's not my husbands fault.

But if he hadn't cheated first (his parents were married till death, but it was an abusive home) I don't know if I would have ever crossed that line - 14 years faithful, and I remember thinking, well if I took him back, I expect the same.

My older siblings had an even tougher childhood, my mom was married and divorced 4 times before my dad came along.

And my brother just celebrated his 25 year anniversary (no infidelity) and my sister has been married for 20.

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