Happy first official day of summer/summer solstice! Can you believe it's already here? And as usual, this week FLEW by! ​So let's slow it down and reflect on the past 7 days, shall we? Here are some of my favorite simple, sensory joys from the past week...

HEAR: Charlie Mae's made-up songsIs there anything better than listening to a toddler sing made-up songs loudly? Especially when they narrate what's happening at the moment while singing (ie. "I'm going to the grocery store with my mommy and my daddy and we're in the car and I'm buckled in my carseat...")? It's the CUTEST and I'll never stop being tickled by it. Gosh these toddler days are adorable (and so, so, so tough, too).

SEE:Always Be My Maybe {Netflix Original RomCom}It's been a loooooonnnggg time since I've watched a RomCom; I don't watch much TV these days and when I do it's usually a show with Ben (and he's not a huge RomCom guy). But last weekend when he was coaching basketball until rather late, I decided to watch this movie that I'd been hearing about and it did not disappoint. It was a classic RomCom in the best of ways and I really enjoyed it! I need to get back to my RomCom roots STAT. I miss them!

TASTE: Homemade Brownies We had a Father's Day get-together with Ben's extended family last weekend and one of his aunts made some *delicious* homemade brownies. I hadn't had brownies in a long time and they were melt-in-your-mouth incredible. Charlie Mae, who had never had a brownie before, agreed (lol).

SMELL:Ouidad VitalCurl Define & Shine Styling Gel-CreamI've been using this gel to style my hair in the summers (scrunch + air-dry) for quite a few years now, but this week was the first time that I'd used it in 2019 and I'd forgotten how good it smelled. I'd also forgotten how great it is to let your hair air-dry into wavy curls on a hot day! It's so much easier (and cooler).

TOUCH: Afternoon catnapsI've reached the point in my pregnancy where I'm always pretty tired and if I were to lie down--no matter the time of the day--I could fall asleep. So, for the past week or two on the days when Charlie Mae is home from daycare and I put her down for her nap, I've gotten SO tired that I've had no choice but to take a quick snooze (15-30 mins) on the couch before tackling my usual nap time to-do list. I'm normally not a great napper but I am right now and these quick naps have been life-savers.

...That's it for me this week! I hope you can find the time to reflect on your simple, sensory joys of the week today, too.

​As of today, my due date is just 25 days away. With this in mind, I figured it was about time to fill you all in {current clients + students, potential clients, blog readers, audio class takers, etc.} on what's going to be happening in Starr Struck-land while I'm out on maternity leave.

If it isn't obvious, I should mention that when you work for yourself, you don't get paid leave of any kind. When I stop working for any period of time, I stop making money. That's just the way it is. But luckily, I have a husband who gets amazing paid paternity leave (he's taking 12 weeks off!) and we've known that this time of no income was ahead of us (clearly), so we were able to save so that I can take this time off without us being super stressed about finances the whole time.

But of course it's weird to step away when you run your own business (or when you are the business). It's hard for me to hand off client projects, to get subs for my classes, to stop consulting, blogging, and teaching workshops on the regular. It's necessary and it's what I want to do to be totally present with my family, but it's really hard.

Also, I learned some valuable lessons last time around, so I'm applying them to my plan for leave with this babe: last time I went back too early {because Charlie Mae was such a good sleeper from 6-10 weeks...HAHAHAHHAHAHA}, I tried to take on too much too quickly when I did go back, and I didn't have the right child care situation figured out (but of course I didn't know that until it was too late and I was completely overwhelmed).

So, this time I'm giving myself 12 full weeks off of almost everything. I'll be handling emails twice per week (on Mondays and Thursdays) and dealing with any urgent needs as applicable. But otherwise, were's what my maternity leave will look like in the various branches of my business:

Design Clients: This is the one part of my business that will continue while I'm out because this is also the one part of my business in which I am not a solopreneur. My good friend + fellow designer Sara has been working for Starr Struck Design Studio for almost 4 years now and thankfully, will be handling all client needs while I'm out. It feels SO good to be able to continue serving our current clients and when possible, help new clients with their needs [through Sara] while I'm out.

Consulting: I will not be doing any consulting while I'm out on maternity leave. If a current consulting client needs advice on something super quickly via email, I'll be responding [quickly] during my designated email times each week, but otherwise, these services will be on hiatus for at least 12 weeks.

Custom Art: Done-zo for now! I'm happy to give referrals to other artists who might be able to meet peoples' needs while I'm out, but I'm not taking on any commissions until the end of October or later.

Etsy Shop:My Etsy shop will stay open! I'll be removing all of my custom order options, but prints, greeting cards, and apparel will still be available, since I can easily pop something in the mail on a day when Charlie Mae is at daycare and Ben is with the babe ;)

Teaching Yoga Classes: I've got "on-call" subs set up to takeover whenever I need them and then continue covering my classes for at least 12 weeks, or from early July to mid-October. I'm only teaching 3 classes per week right now as it is (all at Centerville Yoga), but will wait to resume those classes until I'm really ready.

Teaching Yoga Workshops: I taught my last workshop in May and am thinking I probably won't teach another workshop until November or December at the earliest (and January at the latest). I love teaching workshops but they take a lot more prep, time away, and energy than a regular class, so right now I'm thinking I'll probably need a longer break from them. Sigh.

Blogging: As soon as I go into labor, this blog {and my email newsletter} will be on hiatus until further notice. Of course I'll pop-in here + there to share the birth story, baby pics, and give you quick updates, but my regularly-scheduled blog programming won't return for a while and when it does return, I think it will be different (as in less frequent/less regular). TBD, I guess...

And that's about it for now! I obviously have no idea when I'll go into labor so I'll keep blogging until I do, but if you see me go quiet here and on Instagram (my main social media community these days), just stay tuned and hopefully I'll be sharing a happy, healthy baby update ASAP ;)

Thanks for your understanding as I take some time away from my business to be with my family! And fellow solopreneurs: I hope this shows you that while it is a bit more complicated and takes more planning, it is doable to go on maternity leave when you work for yourself.

SEE: Charlie Mae catching "critters" at the beachWe've had some epic June beach days lately, and since I bought Charlie Mae her first little net last weekend, she's been LOVING catching what we call "critters" at the beach. These critters are mostly shells, sea snails, and tiny hermit crabs, but she gets a huge thrill out of catching them and then putting them into a bucket. It's beyond adorable to watch how excited she gets. {Don't worry--we put them back when she's done!}

TASTE: Family ice cream nightIs it weird/annoying if I list ice cream as a #SJOTW every week for the rest of my pregnancy? Because that just might happen. We've been going once per week as a family since it got warmer and I have to say, getting ice cream together and sitting outside to eat it really is the best.

SMELL: HaircutI got a haircut this week (my last before baby!) and it felt SO good to be pampered a bit. You know that just-styled, my-hair-smells-different-because-someone-else-did-it-with-different-products scent? I love it because it's a nice reminder that I took care of myself ;)

TOUCH: Early morning walksWe went on two pre-work/pre-daycare family walks during the week this week and both were such a special way to start a regular day. Did Charlie Mae have to eat breakfast in her stroller to make it happen both mornings? Of course she did! But she loved it and so did we so it was a win all around.

...And there ya go! I hope you can find some time to reflect on your simple joys of the week today, too. ​

Another week has flown by! And I've got a toddler who is "ready to play" with me this morning (aren't they always!?) so this edition of #SJOTW will be short + sweet...

HEAR: 3 Girls, 1 KeithSeason #3 of Amy Schumer's podcast is finally out (on Spotify) and as expected, it's hilarious! I binged the whole season while I worked this week and loved it. I'm such an Amy Schumer fan.

SEE: Back porch livingIt's been a gorgeous week and because of this, we've been living on the back porch. I've been working out there every day, we've been eating all of our meals outside, we grilled out, and I've been working out and doing yoga back there, too. Now if only the pollen would go away, it would be PERFECT.

TASTE: First Four Seas Ice Cream of the season!We went to our favorite local ice cream spot, Four Seas, as a family last weekend! Charlie Mae obviously LOVED it (she finished hers and started in on mine) and so did her parents ;) Yum! I see lots more Four Seas in our future this summer...

SMELL: Chicken Pot Pie from Centerville Pie Co.This local pie shop (just a few mins from our house) is the best. We like to get a few frozen "dinner pies" from them and keep them in the freezer for nights when we have nothing on-hand for dinner. We enjoyed one this week and it was SO tasty. Plus, it smells delicious when baking in the oven!

TOUCH:Chiropractor adjustmentsThank goodness for the chiro! Adjustments from a good chiropractor are SUCH a life-saver--especially when you're pregnant and your hips and lower back and freaking out about it. If you're local, I can't recommend my chiro [Dr. Ryan Casagranda] enough. I always feel 10x better when walking out of his office.

...And that's it for today! Hope you had a wonderful first week in June and that you can find some time to reflect on your SJOTW, too...

In April, The New York Times published an article about CorePower, the country's largest yoga studio chain, and the dark side of their teacher training program and the way in which they pay and recruit their teachers. The article (which I highly recommend you read if you're in the yoga world) has brought up a lot of conversations within the yoga community about how teachers are paid and whether or not teaching yoga is a viable source of income.

This conversation has been particularly interesting to me as someone who has considered myself a full-time yoga teacher at a few different points over the past 10 years and as someone who wrote an e-book called "How to Earn a Living Teaching Yoga" in 2015.

And while I still stand by all of what I said in that book and believe that the book still holds a lot of value for new yoga teachers, I've also seen the yoga teaching landscape change a lot in the time since writing this e-book. Similarly, I've experienced shifts in my own teaching, so I have a few new thoughts that I want to add to my past sentiments.

Therefore, I wanted to share three follow-up observations and truths (or as some would say, "truth-bombs," LOL) that I think are relevant to this conversation in the hopes that these pieces of information will be helpful to some of the yoga teachers that read this blog, have read my e-book, and/or dream of turning yoga teaching into a full-time gig someday.

I don't say these things to dissuade anyone from following his or her dreams of teaching yoga for a living, but rather, to be realistic about what it takes and about what I've seen happen around me as I've observed new teachers trying to teach yoga full-time over the past few years...

--

1. In order to make a lot of money teaching yoga, you need to be a good teacher--a really good teacher. And being a good teacher takes time, work, and lots of teaching.

There are A LOT of teachers, studios, gyms, and yoga classes out there these days. If you become a yoga teacher and you want to teach a lot of classes, it's fairly easy to find classes to teach; and you can make money teaching those classes, no question! But as more + more studios have opened and more + more teachers have flooded the market, pay rates have not increased at the same rate (or in many cases, at all).

Plus, running a studio when there is a ton of competition is expensive for studio owners, so in order to make running a studio financially viable, more studios have had to switch over to a "per head" payment model, which rewards teachers who have good class times and big classes (great for seasoned teachers!), and does little for teachers who teach at non-prime-times and who have small classes.

For new teachers, it takes time to hone your skills, build your following, and get into "popular" time slots. This means that new teachers may be able to find classes to teach, but might make very, VERY little for the first couple of years that they teach. This, in turn, can often make it impossible to earn a living teaching yoga (especially at the beginning of your teaching career), no matter how many classes you teach per week.

2. Teaching yoga full-time is SUPER exhausting. [I've said this many times before but I think it's worth reiterating here.]

Take it from me: at different times in my teaching career I've taught 20 classes per week, 12 classes per week, 8 classes per week, and just 3 classes per week. And I'm here to tell you from experience that teaching 20 classes per week (what many "full-time" yoga teachers have to teach to make enough to pay their bills) is not sustainable long-term. It's just not.

Now can you teach 10 classes per week, workshops, teacher trainings, and a couple of private clients and make a good living in a more sustainable way? Yes, you can (and I've done it), but again, it's exhausting. Teaching yoga is just really tiring and I think newer teachers are often running on adrenaline, excitement, and passion, so they don't feel it right away.

But eventually, if you keep it up at a high frequency, it will wear you out. That's why I really do always recommend supplementing your yoga teaching income with something else either in the yoga world or in an entirely different industry (especially when you're starting out, but sometimes forever...).

3. Teaching yoga requires A LOT of personal time spent prepping for your classes, doing continuing education, making playlists, etc., and all of that is unpaid. ​What we do for the sheer love of it at the beginning of a yoga teaching career can become a constant drain on your time and energy when you're teaching a ton of classes per week down the line. Making good playlists takes a lot of time. Planning well-thought-out classes takes a lot of time. Keeping things fresh + interesting for yourself and your students requires time spent on the mat learning, practicing with other teachers, and taking trainings (which also cost $$$).

All of the time that you spend on these kind of tasks is unpaid, but it's a part of the job if you want to be a "good" teacher and want to be able to make a living doing this thing you love. Does that mean it's not worth it? No, I don't think so, but it's important to keep in mind.

Oh, and the commuting! Shlepping yourself all over town for a class here and a class there also eats away at your free time (and often your stress levels) and is totally unpaid.

--

I hope that this doesn't sound too negative. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm trying to discourage anyone from teaching yoga full-time. What I want it to do is add a sense of realism to the ongoing conversation about this topic that has taken place on my blog over the past 8-ish years (and while I never meant to glamorize teaching yoga, I'm afraid that at times I have because I love it so much!).

I should also point out (for anyone new to this blog and to my journey) that I am no longer teaching yoga full-time. There are many reasons for this, but one of the biggest is because it is so exhausting that I found teaching tons of classes per week to be too much after 5 or 6 years of doing so.

But do I still love teaching yoga? Yes. Do I still feel passionate about it? Absolutely. Do I still get energized from teaching? Heck yes! Do I love my students? SO much! However, that doesn't mean that I want to teach yoga full-time again any time soon. And that doesn't mean that you have to do so, either, especially if you give it a try and it feels like too much.

One last thing, on a more positive note: a really great aspect of teaching yoga as a part of how you earn a living is that you can scale up and scale down as needed over the years. You can have time periods where you teach a lot, others where you teach very little, and everything in between. But just know that no matter how much you're teaching and no matter how much you love it, it's not all sunshine + bunnies all the time in yoga-teaching-land ;)

Last day of May, oh-em-gee! I'll stop there because I don't want to become a broken record (too late for that?) but you know what I'm thinking <insert big eyes emoji here>. Also, the fact that tomorrow is June 1st means that my July 14th due date is right around the corner and that's just bananas.

So, to get our minds off of the quick passage of time, let's talk SJOTW, shall we? Here's what brought me happiness over the past 7 days...

HEAR: "What Fresh Hell" PodcastI've been looking for a good mom podcast (or #momcast as we call them in the biz, hahaha) for quite a while now. Last week, a fellow mama (shout-out Lindsay!) emailed me recommending I check out "What Fresh Hell," and I'm so glad that she did. It's funny, realistic, and down-to-earth. If you, too, are on the search for a momcast, I definitely recommend you check it out!

SEE:Alias Grace (on Netflix)Alias Grace has been one of my favorite books ever since reading it for a high school English class. I've probably read it 3 or 4 times at this point, so when I finally talked Ben into watching the Alias Grace Netflix miniseries with me last weekend, I was pumped. We're only two episodes in so far but we're both into it and I'm so glad to see that they did the novel justice with this show.

TASTE:GoodPop Organic Freezer PopsAs much as I like making our own popsicles out of 100% fruit juice, I always wish that our moulds weren't quite so big (for myself and for Charlie Mae). So last week, when I saw these 100% fruit juice freezer pops on sale at Whole Foods, I thought they would be a great, smaller popsicle option to have on hand--and they have been! They're delicious and the perfect [smaller] size. Yum :)

SMELL:First cookout of the season/year!We had our first cookout of the year on Monday and it was SO enjoyable. I had forgotten how great it is to be able to cook a bunch of delicious food on the weekend and then continue to eat it for dinner all week long. Also, the smell, the company (we had friends over), the outdoor living + eating...it's all so wonderful! Summer: we're ready for ya.

TOUCH: Family walks + hikesWe went on two big family walks last weekend (one on the sidewalk, one in the woods) and both were really fun. I've been having a lot of pregnancy-related hip and lower back pain (I'm getting old and Charlie Mae is getting heavy!), but even so, it felt great to move and be together outdoors. Warm weather changes everything!

And there you go; another week (and another month) in the books. If you haven't had a chance to reflect on your SJOTW or even your Simple Joys of the Month, now's your chance to do so!

In November 2017, I wrote a blog post about the difficulty of giving up yoga classes as my life situation has changed over the years. In the post I talked about how the way in which I defined myself (as a "yoga teacher") had changed, and how unexpectedly challenging and emotional it was to undergo these changes. I talked about my slow decrease in weekly classes from 15-20 per week, to 12 per week, to 10, then 8, and at the time of that post, down to just 4 classes per week after having Charlie Mae.

Well, here I am today, just over two years later, and once again, I'm grappling with similar emotions. I recently gave up yet another class (at the beginning of April) and am still getting used to being home on Thursday nights after so many years away. I'm now down to teaching just 3 yoga classes per week (!!!!!), which is simply mind-boggling to me. And do you know what's even crazier? That 3 classes still feels like a lot of classes! I have no idea how I ever taught 12 classes per week [for so many years].

I'm also dealing with the reality of taking maternity leave again; it's hard for me to take time off from teaching and working because these are the two things that give my weeks shape, a bigger sense of purpose, and contact with adults in the outside world (LOL).

Every decision that we make in life--especially those that we make to create time for something new--involve giving something up, either temporarily or permanently. Giving up a job, a location, a community, a role, an opportunity, a known quantity, a home, a relationship, an identity.

In a way, since I became a parent, the past 3 years have been a series of lessons in letting go. I've given up being as creative, as productive, as available, and as active as I was before becoming a mother. I've had to scale back my teaching and my business. I've had way less time to myself, time for continuing education, time for my relationship, and time for travel (because who wants to travel with a baby or toddler? Thanksbutnothanks).

And all of this letting go isn't easy. It can be really unsettling and sad. But is it worth it? I definitely think so. Which is why I've signed up to do it again and why I'm gearing up to let go of EVEN MORE, YET AGAIN with the arrival of Babe #2.

In my opinion (and in my experience), no matter what you're giving up, at the end of the day, it's the letting go that creates space for the new, the exciting, the challenging, the growth. And the good news is that in many cases, the letting go is either temporary or potentially reversible, if you want it to be (and I mean small scale here, ie. the having of the second child is not reversible, but the giving up of the yoga class is...).

So what do you have to lose? What do you need to let go of in order to create space for something better, different, or more challenging?!?!

Oh you guys, I am so tired these days! I don't know if it's Charlie Mae's earlier + earlier awakenings (all before 6am this week...), if it's just the reality of getting deeper into my third trimester while being a #toddlermom, or if I'm just getting old (lol), but something is going on and it's leaving me pooped!

That being said, this week was a really lovely one! The weather was incredible and overall, I'm feeling much better [than when I was super sick for so long]. I hope your week was beautiful, too!

​Here are a few of the simple, sensory joys that brought me pleasure over the past 7 days...

SEE: First real beach day with Charlie Mae
As I already mentioned, this week has been gorgeous weather-wise, and on Wednesday Charlie Mae and I packed up our beach stuff (while wearing pants and long-sleeves, since it wasn't *quite* warm enough for swimsuits yet), and headed to the ocean. We spent about 2 hours making sand castles, collecting shells, and enjoying the sunshine, and it was glorious. It made me SO excited for actual beach weather and reminded me just how lucky we are to live here.

TASTE:"The Yellow" smoothie from The Local Juice
If you're local and haven't had a smoothie from The Local Juice yet, you're missing out. Seriously. "The Yellow" is my favorite (I like to add kale) but they're all divine. Charlie Mae loves them, too (I also sneak some kale into hers...don't tell). Such a treat to make it there this week.

SMELL:New Rothy's Slip-On Sneaks
I am OBSESSED (and you know I don't use that word lightly, hahahahha) with my new Rothy's! I've been wanting a pair of these shoes for at least a year now, and finally decided to ask for them for Mother's Day. I got this pair of their sneakers and have basically worn them every single day since they arrived. Next up: I definitely need a pair of the The Point flats. I just can't decide on the color...

Side note: These shoes are made from recycled plastic bottles! Amazing! And I know it sounds like this is sponsored, but it's not. I'm just a really happy customer ;)

TOUCH:​ Baby kicks + movements
I can't believe I haven't mentioned this sooner! I love feeling our baby's movement inside my belly SOOOOO much. I don't think I'll ever get over how magical it feels. And this babe is a crazy mover (from what I understand, my placenta is in a different place this time which also allows me to feel way more), which I adore. Every little kick reminds me of how excited I am to meet him and how grateful I am that he's safe in there.

And that's it for this week! I hope you have an amazing Memorial Day weekend and that you're able to find some time for some serious relaxation.

You know what's been so fun about creating couple sketches for people over the years? Hearing from them again a couple of years after I create their original sketch (which is often for a wedding) when they're pregnant or have had a baby and want me to edit their sketch to include include their newest family member. It's happened a few times now and it makes me really happy :)

So today, we're revisiting an old sketch that needed this exact addition and a few others that I forgot to share here until now! I've included a bit of background about each drawing below...

Sketch #1: I did a wedding sketch for Dan + Maria back in 2015, and last month, Maria sent me an email telling me that she was pregnant with a little boy and wanted to add him to their sketch. So, that's what we did! And we actually did two versions of their new addition so that she could use them for different things--one of him as a little baby (above) and another of him a bit older (below). So sweet!

You can also see the original that I did for Dan and Maria (this version includes their dog, Moe), below:

Sketch #2: This sketch was ordered as a Father's Day gift (last year...forgot to share until now, whoops!) for a new dad. As you can tell, it wasn't digitized because it was framed and given to him as a piece of art on his very first Father's Day. I love this sweet pic of this daddy + his daughter and love that his thoughtful wife (shout-out Lindsay P!) thought to give it to him.

Sketch #3: This sketch was a gift from a daughter to her parents, who recently relocated to NYC. She's living abroad and wanted to do something extra-special for them for Christmas, so had me cobble together this sketch from a bunch of different images of them enjoying their new city. Again, so thoughtful!

Sketch #4: And last but not least, this sketch was a bit different; it was ordered extra-simple and extra-thick so that it could be embossed onto the bottom of custom (and very gorgeous) wedding invitations. Cute idea, right? I drew it from a picture of the adorable couple and they were really excited to put it to use. You can see how they used it below...

​Adorable, right? I love how creative people get with these little line drawings. Thanks to all of the wonderful clients who have hired me to make these special pieces of art for them!

It's Friyay! And I'm *finally* starting to feel better (thanks, antibiotics + steroids!)! I'm so relieved because we have quite a busy weekend ahead of us (I've got a workshop, regular class, and wedding day yoga class to teach!).

But before we jump into the weekend, let's switch gears and reflect on the past week, shall we? Here's what brought me joy over the past 7 days...
​HEAR:"Front Porch" (album) by Joy Williams
Remember how I said I went down a Civil Wars wormhole last week? Well this week I discovered that the female counterpart from that band, Joy Williams, just put out a new solo album and it's incredible, too (of course). I've been listening to it all week. Here's the amazing title track from the album:

SEE: ​Wine Country
Have you watched this Netflix movie yet? I know it didn't get the best reviews--and sure, it wasn't the best movie ever--but it made me LOL many times and it was just so nice to see my old friends Amy + Tina (plus Maya who I also ADORE) back on the screen together. Def recommend you get it on your watch list if you're a fan of these ladies'!

TASTE: Dinner outside at Baxter'sLast weekend, we had our first outdoor dinner [on the water] at local favorite, Baxter's. I'd forgotten how amazing it is to sit outside when you have a toddler--there was so much more for her to see + do and Ben and I were able to enjoy our dinners much more than we can when sitting inside. Made me very excited about summer!

SMELL: Freshly-mowed grass
To be fair, we don't really have an official "grass lawn" (haha). It's weeds, some grass, some crab grass, and some dirt/sand. It's not the prettiest, but it's the best we're going to have for now and I just keep reminding Ben of that fact (he's not happy about it). Anyway, this week he finally mowed our "lawn" for the first time this season and it made me feel like spring is really here. #itsthelittlethings

TOUCH: My Snoogle Pregnancy Pillow
Welp...it'd been a long time since I'd last used this pillow, but the time has come in this pregnancy and I'm now LOVING it again. I remember being SO sick of it by the end of my pregnancy with Charlie Mae, but this week it was a very welcome sleeping companion. Hooray for contraptions like this that make it easier to get comfy when your belly is huge ;)

And that's it for this week! I'm looking forward to seeing many of you at my *last workshop before baby* tonight (it's sold out so too late to sign up, sorry...). ​

Have a GREAT weekend and don't forget to reflect on your #SJOTW today, if you have time!

​In the picture on the right, taken almost three years ago, I didn't yet know what it meant to be bone tired. I didn't yet know what it meant to be in love--in all-encompassing love--with a tiny human being who can't even say your name [yet]. I didn't know what it meant to have your life as you know it upended + destroyed in the blink of an eye. I didn't know what it meant to put someone else's needs in front of my own every single time, every single day, forever + ever.

I didn't yet know what it meant to care for someone else without even thinking about it. I didn't know what it meant to feel blinding rage towards my husband as I got up to console our crying baby [yet again] and he continued to sleep. I also didn't know what it meant to explode internally due the emotional intensity of watching my husband and my child love one another and spend time together. I didn't know what it meant to really "play." I didn't know what it meant to sleep with one ear + one eye open, always ready to come to the rescue.

But I was excited! And I thought I had everything planned out. Because I didn't know what I didn't know.

In the picture on the left, I know all of these things and they're engrained in my being now. I'm bigger, I'm sicker (literally: I'm on steroids + antibiotics in this picture!), my body is much more sore, I'm saggier, I'm exhausted, and I'm fully aware of what I'm getting into--while also knowing that I actually have no idea what I'm getting into. I'm savvy enough now to be scared of what's to come because it's simply such a known unknown.

But again, despite all of this, I'm also really, really excited.

I can't wait to feel my heart expand again--beyond what I think is possible for one heart to feel and beyond what I think is possible for one person to experience. Every time that this second child, my son, moves inside my body, every time that my daughter kisses my belly on her way to bed, every time that she says "I'm a big sister!" I become more and more sure that this is the right thing for our family.

​Even if it leaves us more tired, more frazzled, and yes, sometimes more angry, I know it will all be worth it. And I can't wait.

It's been such a beautiful week! Exhausting, too, because Charlie Mae has been on a weird early wake-up kick for the past week or so (waking up over an hour earlier than she usually does every. single. day.), but beautiful and fun, nonetheless. How was your week?

Let's reflect by looking back on our simple joys...

HEAR: "Billie Jean" Cover by The Civil Wars
I was revisiting an album by one of my favorite [now defunct] duos this week and came across this cover that I had forgotten about. It's SO good! You can listen on Spotify or below:

​SEE: Charlie Mae in her new room!
Last weekend, we moved Charlie Mae downstairs into her new room to make room for the babe upstairs (I know, I know, this move could be related to her early wake-ups, but those started two days before we moved her so I doubt it). Before the move I was really nervous about how it would go and how she would handle being in a new room, but she's LOVED it! She was super excited and took to it immediately. It's been so sweet to observe.

TASTE:Whole Foods' 8 Grain Sandwich Bread
I know this seems lame, but let me just explain--this bread has been our household bread for the past few years. I love it. We all do. But Ben recently switched up where he does our weekly grocery trips and thus, stopped getting this bread. It was missed--sorely (mostly by me). So this week I threw in the towel and went on a special WF trip to get this bread. It's been sooo nice to have it back in the house!

SMELL: Pedicure
I got a pedicure yesterday after WAY too long! And it felt SO good. Those massage chairs, I swear. I need one at home (but I know it would never be the same...maybe I need an actual massage?). Anyway, the moral of the story is #selfcafe, ya'll, no matter how simple. It's important.

TOUCH: An actual yoga class (haha)I've done a lot of yoga on my own throughout this pregnancy, but I haven't been able to make it to many actual "regular" yoga classes (lots of BUTI classes, though) due to my schedule, sickness, etc. But yesterday I went to one! And it was divine, even if I did feel totally beat up and had to modify half of the class (lol). Nothing like slowing it down in yoga, huh? [Thanks for the great class, Molly!]

And that's it from me this week! I hope you can find some time to reflect on your #SJOTW today, too, and that all you mamas out there have a great Mother's Day. I'll catch you back here next week!

I haven't been as regular with these classes as I'd like lately (because LIFE), but here you go: a new audio class [finally]! Learn more about this month's class + listen below:

Class Description:In this 1-hour audio yoga class we focus on balancing + opening the outer hips, building up to an optional peak pose of galavasana (flying pigeon). This class is not for beginners; experienced practitioners only. Recorded live.

*Note: it might be handy to have 2 blocks available for this class! But you can definitely do it without them if you don't have access to blocks.

How to Listen: You can listen directly from this website (player below) or on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher (search "Starr Struck Yoga: Live Yoga Classes"). If you subscribe to this "podcast" wherever you listen to podcasts, you will automatically get each new class that I post in your podcast feed on your phone. ​A Note About the Audio Quality: These classes are not professional recordings, so you will hear me mess up, you'll hear students sneeze, you'll hear me whisper a specific instruction to a specific student, and at times, the audio quality might not be the best. Apologies, but hey, they're free and as authentic as you can get without being in the actual class! ;)

We've reached the end of Season 2 of Built on Cape Cod! Crazy! Here's a quick rundown of this week's episode:

I​n the final episode of Season 2, BOCC's creators (yours truly + Jen and Amanda of LoveLiveLocal) come together for one final entrepreneurship discussion, this time focused on the process of opening a new business or starting a new business endeavor on Cape Cod (and some of the ways in which doing so here is different than in other places). We also touch on the way in which the initial excitement of opening a business can wane once you’re deep into the nitty-gritty operational side of running that business.

Also, a HUGE thanks to everyone who listened, shared the show, + supported us in Season 2! We are so grateful to our local community. As we discuss at the end of the episode, we'll be taking a hiatus until 2020 (hello, baby!), but of course I'll keep you posted on any new developments when the time comes.

And just like that, it's May 3rd. Now that we're in May, I feel like we've reached the home stretch of this pregnancy, which is insane. When your due month is just 2 months away, things start feeling *very* real. So how about we slow time down by reflecting on our #SJOTW? Here's what brought me joy over the past 7 days...

HEAR:"I am Enough" by Beautiful Chorus
This is my May savasana song and I love it so much! I love almost every song put out by this group, but this is a special one. Listen below (all of my yoga class playlists are here).

​SEE:Fiiinnnaaallllyyyy cleaning out/organizing/Marie Kondo-ing the basement
I've had "clean out the basement + garage" on our household "tidying" list since January. We saved them until the end because we knew they'd be such big undertakings (and so far, the basement has been) but it has felt SO good to chip away at this big project over the past two weekends. I think we'll finish it this weekend and I'm pumped! The amount of NASTY bug-carcass-filled dustballs I've vacuumed up are scary, but we're almost there.

TASTE: Ben's birthday cake [my family's favorite homemade Sour Cream Pound Cake/our birthday tradition]
Charlie Mae and I made Ben our traditional family birthday cake last Friday (so fun) and after his small family bday party on Saturday night, enjoyed it for a few more days--well into this week. There really is NOTHING like this cake. I can't imagine a family bday without it ;)
​SMELL: Made-from-scratch chocolate chip cookies baking in the ovenI guess it's been a sweets-filled week around here--whoops! But Charlie Mae LOVES baking with me and she's been home a lot lately! And how can you tell a toddler 'no' when she looks up at you with those big eyes and says, "Mommy, can we make some chocolate chip cookies?" You can't. You just can't. So we made some yesterday and they were enjoyed by all!

TOUCH: Being cough-free for the first time since April 3rd (HALLELUJAH!)
I started coughing (from what I found out two days later was the flu) on April 3rd. Last week, I was finally put on antibiotics for what had turned into pneumonia and a sinus infection. By Sunday, my coughing was officially gone; all it took was 5 days on antibiotics and the cough that had rendered me sleepless for almost a month and left me with a pulled rib muscle was gone! I usually hate antibiotics but this time I am completely grateful. Thank goodness for feeling better again.

That's it for this week. As always, I hope you can find some time to reflect on your simple joys of the week today, too...

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