Thursday, June 21, 2012

You feel neglected. Unloved. Unworthy. Much like Wayne and Garth when discussing any type of rock band. Or Bill and Ted of Wylde Stallions.

Okay, maybe not Bill & Ted…

There’s been alligators (of the airboat tour variety), a trip to PA which would have involved two weddings, but only involved one, a journey to South Beach, billboards galore about turning to Jesus (mostly during the PA trip through West Virginia, Virginia, and all points west of Allentown in Pennsylvania), and a crap load of other things mostly not involving drunk elephants or crazed chipmunks… Homemade wine did make an appearance, but being as I am mostly of the Irish and Welsh persuasion, it didn’t stick around long (excepting that one encore appearance behind the car after-hours…)

I did learn, upon investigation, that there are two different types of skunks in Florida, however. The striped Pepe Le Pue variety, and the lesser-known yet just as pungent spotted variety which I had never encountered before running one over in cold blood on I-95. (No worries, it was very cold blood—he was already dead, yet no less stinky for that fact…)

Cute little fuckers, though… When they aren’t dead and still spraying bits of musk onto the underside of your car which someone else (the Blue-Eyed Devil himself) claimed he could still smell hours later. I count myself lucky I have been blessed with my father’s smelling skills (or lack thereof…)

Needless to say, life is progressing nicely, what with the sweet little raise I got at work, the integrating more fully my life with aforementioned devil of the pretty blue eyes, and the catching up of some bills. And while a certain tuxedoed Chihuahua continues to be genetically- and potty-challenged, I have full faith and hope in the certainty that, while he’ll never be a particularly bright dog, we will get him potty trained…

On to ol’ Blue-Eyes…

He doesn’t play mind games (a nice change), gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, gets along with his parents quite nicely, gets along with mine even better, wears his heart on his sleeve (i.e., doesn’t hide it although he has been hurt in the past), and can read me like a book even when I say nothing… A very nice change, truth be told. And while I need to work on my “romantic” side (again, thanks for that, sister-in-law mine, LOL!) having a score of “7 out of 10” (hey, at least it’s a C!), and while I’m quite sure this is still that “honeymoon stage” people go on about at length, and being that I’m ultimately sure that neither of us are perfect individuals (although I do give him a score of “9 out of 10” for romanticism), I can say that he’s going to be around for quite some time… And happily so…

And, and how he makes me laugh! I think I love that more than anything. I’ve missed laughing like that these past years. I realize we both made mistakes in the last relationship, things I’m trying hard to change about myself for my part at least, and while I know I’ll never be perfect, at least I can say I’m trying…

The ex has asked me (again) to call him, and I’ve decided to go ahead and do so, realizing that if I can always hang up if the conversation drifts in ways I’m uncomfortable with. While there is still much “unresolved” (for lack of a better term, as I don’t think some things can be resolved), most of it isn’t within my power to resolve. I admit to being a bit of a control freak about certain things, but there are other things I never had control over and shouldn’t feel guilty about or make excuses for. We are who we are, we control what we can, and everything else just needs to be blown away by the winds of time and change.