Kicking the F out of LiFe

I am a perfectly imperfect author, Mum to two fabulous boys & Meniere's slave. Changing the world in my own way to make it a better place for everyone.
These are MY opinions. Don't worry if you don't agree. You choose how you interpret the words. Just remember "at the end of a storm, there's a golden sky..." YNWA. Be kind, caring and compassionate.
Shortlisted 2 consecutive years for a UK Blog Award

Sunday, 4 March 2018

On the 15th June
2014 I wrote a blog named Swimming against the tide. This is an extract from
it:

“I decided I wanted my
children to understand the importance of struggle, of community, of what is
right and wrong and most of all about respect. Most days I am swimming against
the tide but nevertheless I still swim. I still swim because I would like my boys
to be strong individual men that respect themselves and have respect for all
others. I hope their greatest attributes will be respect, honesty,
integrity, justice, decent morals and tolerance. Just imagine what sort of a
world we would have then. If you don’t invest the time in children, how on
earth can you expect them to turn into decent human beings? I can’t be doing
too bad a job when my son is giving my advice out and asking if I would help
his friends if they need it!!” (full blog here).

For too many years I have
received criticism for the way I have raised the boys, but I knew my plan and I
was sticking to it, not out of arrogance but because I knew that my way of
raising them would allow them to develop their own skills in many areas they
need to have a successful life. These skills include communication, problem
solving and the key skill of all critical analysis. I have taught them politics
from any early age… all spectrums…for them to be armed with the tools to think
for themselves and not be easily influenced by ignorance and bigotry. They can
make their own minds up and if they make a mistake they have problem solving
skills to put things right. Despite the criticism, it has been the best thing I
have ever done… by a mile. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not a perfect parent and
often gets things wrong. I do, however, own my mistakes, admit to the boys when
I am wrong and apologise to them. They know we are all only human and all make
mistakes.

I am so pleased I stood my
ground because these invaluable skills are being denied to our children in the English
school system. The World Economic Forum,
UNESCO and OECD have all published reports into what skills our children will
need to be successful in the changing world of work. These are:

Critical thinking and problem
solving

Collaboration across networks
and leading by influence

Agility and adaptability

Initiative and entrepreneurialism

Effective oral and written
communication

Accessing and analysing
information

Curiosity and imagination.

Yet, the English education
system, under the Tories, has been turned into an examination factory where the
only concern is to teach children to pass examinations. The system is sucking
the life, the imagination, the creativity and independent thinking out of our
children. Teachers are powerless to prevent it. This is solely down to this
horrendous Government. You would have thought; the Education policy would
centre around these seven essential skills. The reality is, it is having the
opposite effect on our children. Add to that the draconian disciplinary regimes
and we are heading for a generation of adults who have had opinions oppressed
and been denied a voice on top of being denied the skills required to succeed
in a changing world. It is time we faced up to it… Education is NOT educating
our children.

Changes in the Computer
Science curriculum and the withdrawal of ICT this year will result in some of
our children not being provided with any digital skills. This is a subject very
close to my heart and I am furious the Government refuse to address the skills
deficit. There are pockets of good practice, but this is outweighed by the vast
number of children being deprived of essential skills training. WE SHOULD ALL
BE CONCERNED.

Therefore, my PhD is so important
to me. It focuses on the delivery of Computer Science in the secondary schools.
I believe our children deserve so much better than is being delivered but the
system requires a radical change including substantial investment. I am doing
my bit. We need a Government committed to providing skills for our children to
truly succeed in life.

Writing

Today I finally submitted
the manuscript of Beyond the Lies to the publishers. I apologise to everyone
who is waiting for it but in true self-doubt style, I can not submit it until I
am 99.9999% happy with it. I’ll keep you updated.

Meniere’s Disease

Finally, an update on the dreaded
M word… Meniere’s of course. Last week, during the storm, was horrendous. I
lost four days to vertigo, sickness, tinnitus and the dreaded brain fog. Today,
I still have the same symptoms, but they are bearable although the boys have
laughed at me mixing my words up… I’m sure Yoda was based upon a Meniere’s
sufferer.

Have a fun week. I intend
to. I am fighting and will continue to fight. Keep the faith

Tuesday, 6 February 2018

Today, in the UK, we celebrate one hundred years since the passing of
the Representation of the People's Act 1918.
This act gave a limited number of women the vote! Equality in voting did not occur
for another ten years… TEN YEARS in 1928.

We may have the right to vote today but we have a hell of a
way to go before we see true equality.
I have no interest in the notion of women being superior to men or vice versa.
We are all human beings, only separated by genetics. What concerns me more is
the artificially made inequality within our society.

The hypocrisy of the Prime Minister and Home Secretary this
morning is sickening. They are lauding the Suffragettes, their actions and their
fight yet these two women are responsible for Parliamentary Acts specifically designed
to stifle democracy and freedom of speech. In addition, their Conservative
Party has orchestrated poverty, WASPI women loss of pensions, working mothers
being disproportionately hit by austerity and our young girls suffering period
poverty.

Cameron was even worse. His ignorance was permanently and
clearly on show when he referred to female colleagues as "she". This
disdain for women MPs continues, a glaring example was the during last week's
Prime Ministers Question Time, when Tory MPs did their best to bray at and
shout down Emily Thornberry. How do we really expect to convince our girls to
voice their opinions and take public office?

I admit, I have no desire to serve in public office due to
the negative media attention and the biased bullish behaviour some men display.
I would much prefer to work with books and use research and education to influence
future policy. I should not feel that way… but I do.

I faced sexism and misogyny all my life especially in a
male dominated industry but even today, some recent events within my own local
party, only demonstrated misogyny is alive and thriving in 2018.

The whole system, Government and commerce, is endemically
against mothers yet being a Mum is a vital role within our communities. As a
single Mum, I was constantly told my growing boys needed a male role model. They
did NOT. They needed a strong role model who could teach them the importance
and significance of equality and being respectful to ALL human beings.

All these calls for more women MPs, business leaders, role
models, etc, etc will never be achieved without a total change in attitude and ethos
within our whole society. It must start with education of both boys and girls.
We must get away from this divisive language and rhetoric. As soon as a child
enters the education system, they are labelled and collectivised based upon
gender which immediately hinders their opportunities in certain subjects because
of societal stereotypes. This is prevalent in STEM subjects. The fact that Wes
is helping me write this, demonstrates how far we can develop mutual
understanding without gender bias.

What I would like to see going forward, amongst many other
ideas:

A conscious effort within education to eradicate divisive,
restrictive labels and stereotyping

An education curriculum that truly represents equality. The
curriculum is weighted towards men's achievements – Bletchley Park is known for
Alan Turing's codebreakers yet actually 8,000 women worked there and were
instrumental in the war effort. They made up 75% of the workforce but rarely
get the recognition they so richly deserve.

I want issues not to be "women's" issues. Period
poverty should concern everyone in society as should sexual harassment. Men and
Women should stand together to fight for these issues. My boys know how to
treat men and women respectfully, more importantly equally.

Anyone who believes in equality, regardless of gender, should
unite and fight for true equality. I don't want to set in women's groups. I
want to take the fight to the main platform!!

Let us promote behaving as equal human beings.

Let us unite and fight for true equality against economic
and political systems that are specifically and inherently designed to divide
us. Let us also fight to ensure every human being has their right to vote across the world.

I can't write this post without mentioning… today would
have been Annie Williams' birthday. Annie fought tirelessly for the truth and
justice for Kevin AND all the victims and survivors of Hillsborough. A Mum,
through no choice of her own, fought with love, great resolve and dignity. She
took the fight to the establishment at such great personal cost to herself and
her amazing family and WON!!

Thursday, 25 January 2018

The more I deal with this ticking time bomb, the more I
realise it is essential to keep raising awareness. Over 13 million people in
the world suffer from it yet the reaction I get when I speak about it is one of
“what is that?” and “well you don’t look ill”. Only my boys see me on the bad
days. Time is so precious.

Everyday, I spend
50-60% of my energy disguising the symptoms and fighting the disease so people
don’t see its true effects. That only leaves between 40-50% of my energy to
raise the boys, run the house, sort the finances, study, write and keep everything
together. The hardest part of it is not knowing from one day to the next, what
symptoms, what attacks, what the hell is going to happen. It is really a
ticking time bomb. On a recent visit to the doctors, the doctor was talking to
me and all I could think of was the old loony tunes
cartoons (appropriate!) When they used to have one of those round black bombs
lit and were running around with it and you knew it was going to explode.
Lol... that's Meniere’s... a ticking time bomb. Also this gives you an insight
to how my warped mind works... the boys understand me lol 😎😎

Some days are easier than others. Today was one of the days
when Meniere’s beat me…

zero energy to fight it. The daily inner fight is the
part people do not understand or appreciate about invisible illnesses. I did
not until I was diagnosed, and it progressed further. You think you are
invincible. The effort it takes to live a “normal” life should never be
underestimated, especially when you consider the Meniere’s is only the tip of
the iceberg and other symptoms include dizziness, the room spinning at bedtime, the trips and falls, nausea, jaw pain, anxiety, depression,
self-doubt, tinnitus, fluctuations in hearing, sensory overload (patterns, lights,
noise), the panic attacks when you think you are going to start with an attack and then concentrate on not having an attack so forget what you are supposed to be doing, not knowing if the right words are coming out of your mouth and the
damned brain fog. We deal with all this through laughter especially the brain
fog. I will forget a word or get the words the wrong way around – a bit like Yoda
but unintentionally.

All this, goes on behind the scenes. Very few see it and
even less understand it. I don’t want sympathy or understanding. I would love
more research and a cure. As a family, we have learned to live with it. The
boys know the not so good days and adjust their behaviour accordingly. I feel
sometimes that society and this wretched Government have written me and others
like me, off. I won’t get a job and be able to keep it unless there is a full
appreciation of the unpredictability of this illness. I need flexibility and
the ability to self-manage the symptoms and life. Ironically, it is a balancing
act!

I refuse to be written off and wither away without leaving
my legacy. That is why my PhD work and my writing means so much to me. It is
personal. My political fight continues, now more than ever. I want to fight for
people who can’t fight for themselves. So, I am not “normal”. Normal is
overrated. My illness drives and motivates me. I am a fighter and always will
be.

Sunday, 14 January 2018

Enough is enough. Are we really regressing into the past
world of segregation and inhumanity? I make no apology in saying that unless these
attacks are directed at you, you do not personally know what it feels like.

My eldest son is mixed race. His Dad is British like me yet
since Brexit, my son has suffered racism and a change in attitude towards him.
I see it too when we are walking around the supermarket – the looks he gets,
the disdain, the women who suddenly clutch their bags tighter, not to mention
the under the breath comments. It is
repulsive and disgusting and legitimised by world leaders and politicians. He
tells me how it makes him feel but I can't imagine it, just as he can't imagine
how demoralising it is for me to be treated with contempt because I am female.
I don't want tokenism, I want fairness and equality based upon my experience
and hard work just as my son wants to be treated as the good, British citizen
that he is. His patriotism is far stronger than any one flying a flag on a
Britain First march. He cares about this country and exercises his right to question
the cruel, inequality of this Tory Government, not for him but for his fellow citizens.

Freedom of speech does not include allowing hate speech. I
certainly feel that we are going backwards and if we do not get a grip of it,
there will be irreversible damage. Equality is NOT political correctness. It is
common decency and well, humanity.

If we really want to address inequality, we must stop
treating people differently and sticking labels on each and everyone of us.
Forget the information based on gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. We are ALL human beings. I have never approved
of equal opportunity monitoring forms. They do not help equality, nor do they
serve any purpose other than to provide statistical analysis for employers and
Government agencies. Let's face it…in the current climate, it is more than
likely, the information will be used to discriminate. Flouting equality laws has
become the new norm legitimised by changes in the legal systems making it
impossible for any legal redress due to the cuts in legal aid and spiralling
tribunal fees. The changes in the legal system was no coincidence. The Tories
have planned this divide and rule strategy, systematically singling out
sections of our communities for derision and attack.

Then there is our "special relationship" partner.
Trump is a racist and was a racist before he was elected. His popularity
repulsed me and to have even socialists, telling me he was a better choice than
the Democrats, only demonstrated how little regard some people have for
equality. There is no excuse at all for racism, bigotry and misogyny yet,
during both Brexit and the USA presidential campaign, they were not only
brushed off, they were actively incorporated into the campaigns. This is not ignorance, this is
a calculated act of pure evil. Have we forgotten what our previous generations
fought for? The fact that Trump made his "shithole" comments then could
dishonour Martin Luther King just shows how ignorant we are becoming. This
ignorance MUST be stamped out NOW. We must use our voices to educate our children
and make sure they understand the struggles of the past do not become their new
fights of the future. We need to arm future generations with the tools to promote
true equality, to eradicate the world of labels, categories and types. We are
ALL human beings.

Now, more than ever, anyone who truly believes in equality,
should be fighting together to stop any attempts of Governments and world
leaders to try and divide our communities based upon gender, ethnicity,
religious beliefs and sexual preferences.