Parent Hacks2015-07-26T12:31:17Zhttp://www.parenthacks.com/feed/atomAsha Dornfesthttp://www.parenthacks.com/?p=130442015-07-26T01:27:37Z2015-07-26T12:31:17ZThis story ends with an invitation: to sign the ONE Campaign petition to support the Electrify Africa Act. Ready now? Scroll to the bottom of this post. Want to know more? Read on.

When I travel, my assumptions get blown wide open. Observing the habits and realities of people living in different circumstances changes my definition of “normal” and “necessary.”

My daughter in Mykonos, Greece, a few weeks ago. Look at that light!

We just got back from a visit to Greece. We happened to be there as the Greek financial crisis came to a head. To watch people anxiously waiting in ATM lines to withdraw whatever cash they could made me realize how I take the security of and access to my money for granted.

Something else I take for granted: electricity. I barely notice its constant availability. The lights always turn on, the appliances always work. When they don’t, it’s a fun occasion to light candles and play hide-and-seek. I know the lights will come on again soon enough.

589 million people in sub-Saharan Africa — 68% of the population — have no electricity.

Reliable access to electricity is a huge part of reducing extreme poverty. With electricity:

Food stays refrigerated that would otherwise rot in the heat.

Vaccines and medications remain viable that would otherwise spoil without temperature control.

Hospital equipment operates.

Lighting enables children to study, businesses to run, and doctors to treat patients after sundown.

At no cost to US taxpayers, the Electrify Africa Act will bring electricity to 50 million Africans for the first time – with a focus on rural and under-served areas.

The thing is…the act needs to pass both the House and the Senate. This is far from guaranteed, so it’s time to speak up NOW.

Sign the ONE petition by filling in the yellow box below. You’ll add your voice to the tens of thousands who’ve already signed…and you’ll have done your part to bring light to those who need it most.

ONE will never ask for your money — only your voice. Want to know more about #ElectrifyAfrica? Visit ONE.org. Want to DO more? Share this post, or post your own light-filled image on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook with the tag #ElectrifyAfrica and #LightForLight, along with this link to the ONE petition:

I’m home! It has been such a mind-altering month of travel and conversation — I’ve come home thinking very differently about the year ahead.

I’m pulling together notes about my family trip to Greece (we left the morning of the referendum), speaking at the World Domination Summit, visiting Workman Publishing (publisher of the forthcoming Parent Hacks book), and pitching in at an internal charity:water “hackathon” NOT TO MENTION what it’s like to go through summer camp radio silence with one kid (my son was out of touch at camp the entire time we were away) while traveling with the other (my daughter was with us in Greece, the UK, and New York).

So much to tell you about what has happened and what’s happening next. Till then, I’ll leave you with something I said to friends on Facebook:

For the last month I’ve been in close proximity to people and events that have changed my thinking and moved my heart. We limit ourselves by what we think we can achieve, when it reality we have no IDEA what’s possible.

Ours is starting big with a family trip to Europe. We’re traveling to Greece for a friend’s wedding. I haven’t been to Greece since 1989, and I’ve wanted to go back ever since. The wedding is in Thessaloniki, and then we’re onto the island of Mykonos, and then Athens. Join me on Instagram if you like vacation pictures. Have you been to any of these spots? I’d love to hear your must-visit recommendations.

The next leg of my adventure is back home in Portland. I’m speaking at the World Domination Summit — a gathering I can best describe as “kindling for the soul.” The loose theme is “living an unconventional life,” and 3000 people come to Portland to be inspired by a combination of talks, activities, workshops and impromptu meetups. I’m incredibly honored that WDS founder (and fellow Portlander) Chris Guillebeau has invited me to do this.

I’ve been gathering notes for this talk for months. As the themes have settled and coalesced, I’ve been surprised to discover that the lessons I’ve learned as a parent and as a writer are pretty much the same.

If you’d like to follow along, I’ll be tweeting and Instagramming at #WDS2015 during the conference July 13-15, and I’ll post my talk as soon as it’s available.

After WDS, I head to New York to meet back up with my family. We’re pitching in at an internal charity:water “hackathon” Rael is helping organize. (In case you’re not familiar with charity:water, check out the short video above. They’re doing the crucial work of making clean drinking water available to communities in developing countries.)

While I’m in New York, I’m also going to visit with my editor and the publicity team at Workman Publishing to talk about the Parent Hacks book. This will be the second time I’ve visited the Workman offices. I’ll share my visit on Instagram so you can meet some of the talented people there.

And then: home. Our big plans for the rest of the summer are…hanging out at the local pool, spending time with family and friends, walking to the frozen yogurt shop, and letting our feet and imaginations take us where they will.

]]>0Asha Dornfesthttp://www.parenthacks.com/?p=129102015-06-23T23:52:57Z2015-06-22T12:16:34ZI’m documenting my daughter’s and my experience with Invisalign clear aligners. I’m a member of the Invisalign Mom Advisory Board, and we are receiving complimentary treatment as part of the program.

Our mother-daughter adventure in orthodontia has begun. Mimi and I have started Invisalign are dutifully wearing our aligners and adjusting to new eating and tooth-brushing routines. I’ve waited a few weeks to write this so I could give you a full picture of what it’s really like at the beginning of Invisalign treatment: the initial appointments, getting our aligners, and the all-important answer to does Invisalign hurt?

First Appointment: Evaluation

The first step was to make sure we were good candidates for Invisalign. Not everyone is — but it’s not obvious without an examination by an experienced orthodontist or dentist.

I found our orthodontist, Dr. Doleac, using the Invisalign doctor locator. I wanted someone nearby with lots of experience treating both teens and adults with Invisalign. (The locator indicates experience levels with the labels Elite, Premier and Preferred.)

Dr. Doleac gave us each thorough examinations, including x-rays. Mimi and I have different issues — she has a crossbite and wide tooth spacing, and I have crowding. He determined that Mimi would need rubber bands between her top and bottom jaws to correct her crossbite. We’d also need to have attachments bonded to our teeth to help the aligners do their jobs (more about attachments later in the post). But he was confident that Invisalign would work well for us.

We also got an in-depth talking to about the responsibilities that come with Invisalign. Unlike braces, Invisalign aligners can be taken out and lost, and the doctor wanted our side of the bargain to be clear.

We’d have to wear our aligners at least 22 hours per day.

We’d have to clean the aligners and our teeth after every meal, in addition to our usual brushing.

We’d have to keep track of our aligners. (This is one of my biggest concerns: Mimi losing her aligners at school.)

We each agreed we could handle the responsibilities. In fact, Mimi and I were pretty excited about the process. She said, “for some reason this makes me feel special.”

Second Appointment: Getting Our Teeth Scanned

Invisalign needs either a 3-D scan of your teeth or physical impressions to construct the aligners. Dr. Doleac’s office uses the iTero scanner — a big plus, in my opinion. It’s a hand-held scanner that produces an image of each tooth. The scans are quick and clean — unlike having impressions, which involves biting down on a goopy tray of molding compound. (I remember that well from middle school. Hurl.)

The scanning took about 30 minutes and was painless. Pretty cool to watch the 3-D images of Mimi’s teeth pop up on the screen. Even cooler: once the scan was complete, the computer projected a before-and-after image so we could see an approximation of what Mimi’s teeth will look like when she’s done.

Third Appointment: Getting Our Aligners

Our aligners took about three weeks to arrive. As the fitting appointment approached, Mimi was relaxed (as is her way), but I was nervous. What had I gotten us into? Was this going to complicate our lives? Was this going to hurt?

My worries were for naught. The fitting process was easy, painless, and (actually) pretty interesting.

First, we had to have attachments bonded to our teeth. These tooth-colored “buttons” help the aligners stay in place. It’s a simple matter of dabbing bonding material onto the teeth, and then molding them into shape with a plastic mold. It took about 30 minutes, and was painless.

The doctor had to lightly file between a few of my teeth to create space for movement. This was annoying (the tool he used was loud and a little bumpy) but painless.

Finally, they popped in our aligners. I could hardly see them! But I didn’t anticipate how weird they’d feel. They were thicker than I had expected, and it felt like having a mouth full of plastic (which it is, I guess). The aligners also gave me quite a lisp, which worried me. I envied Mimi, who sounded fine.

The staff showed us how to take the aligners on and off (it’s tricky in the beginning, but they assured us it would get easier with practice). They also reminded us about how to care for our aligners, how to keep them clean, and all the rest.

We left our appointment giddy, excited, and a little stunned.

Our First 72 Hours With Invisalign

Eight hours later, the honeymoon was over.

Our teeth and cheeks were sore

Our teeth ached. No surprise — you can’t expect your teeth to move without some discomfort — but it was a bummer. We both took some Tylenol, which helped a lot. But the ache persisted for about 72 hours.

The edges of the aligners also roughed up the inside of our cheeks and lips. When we took our aligners out to eat, the attachment buttons felt sharp and pinched our cheeks. Our doctor had prepared us for this and said it was temporary, but it was really uncomfortable.

Tylenol and lip balm: my two new best friends

I had a lisp

My biggest hangup was my lisp! I was really self-conscious about it. It was as if my tongue had no idea how to deal with all of this new stuff in my mouth. My son had plenty of fun at my expense, and we all laughed about my “thpeech,” but I was worried the lisp wouldn’t go away.

It was hard to adjust to a new routine

Mimi and I found ourselves avoiding food because we didn’t want to have to go through removing our aligners and brushing. But we got over that pretty quickly.

I was concerned that dealing with Invisalign at school would be a huge hassle for Mimi, but she got the hang of it right away. (I’ll share details about how Invisalign works at school in a future post.)

A Week Later: All Is Well

A week later, we were back to our former happy selves. We can now take our aligners in and out with no problem. We settled into a new, simple hygiene routine, and the tooth, cheek and lip soreness is gone. My lisp is less pronounced, and my friends swear they can’t hear anything, but I still can. Fortunately, I’m no longer too self-conscious about it.

The horrific events in Charleston, South Carolina. I struggle with what to say, what to do. But I can’t wait for clarity before saying something. My heart goes to those families. To the members of that church. To every person who lives in fear, unprotected. Without sanctuary.

Not long ago my family watched the movie Selma together. My kids were incredulous, amazed that people could hate as they did. But the “period piece” nature of the film gave it enough historical distance that they moved on to “well, at least that doesn’t happen today.”

They react the same way to stories of the Holocaust, even though members of our family died in the camps. And to stories of Apartheid, even though their father is a white South African whose family resisted Apartheid and ultimately left the country because of it.

It’s too easy to look away. But hate is happening right now, and we must do something. Even if it’s not eloquent, perfect, or profound.

Say something. Condolences, calls to action…let your voice be heard on your Facebook profile or blog, and in your conversations with friends and family. Let those who are afraid and mourning not feel alone.

Support the victims’ families. The Mother Emanuel Hope fund will help family members pay for funerals, counseling and other financial needs. Donations can be made online, by texting ‘prayforcharleston‘ to 843-606-5995, or by sending a check here:

We spent Spring Break on the road in Arizona, visiting the Grand Canyon and surroundings with my parents. It was a fabulous trip, full of great memories, but it also brought me back to the road trips of my youth.

I remembered, with painful clarity, how boring those long stretches of road can be for a kid. (My parents oohed and ahhed over the scenery back then, but I found it dull. Now I’m at the age my parents were when we went on those trips, and my kids and I have fallen into the same pattern.)

I’m a fan of boredom as a way to spark creativity, and I also believe in long stretches of nothing (a prerequisite for day-dreaming). But my kids are old enough that an outright electronics ban on a long road trip seems like overkill. Even so, I don’t want to spend the entire trip in separate, plugged-in worlds.

If conversation doesn’t naturally flow, here are a few fun ways for the whole family to enjoy together time in the car.

1. Listen to podcasts and audiobooks.

We download a few all-ages podcasts and audiobooks before we leave so we can listen to them together (try your local library). If your car radio has an auxiliary plug-in port, you can pipe audio from your phone or computer through the car stereo speakers.

2. Make a road trip music playlist.

Before you leave, collaborate with your kids on a road trip playlist. Have everyone add a few favorite songs, then shuffle it so everyone gets airtime and exposure to each others’ favorites. Don’t forget about movie soundtracks…they bring back fun memories of favorite scenes.

3. Play road trip games.

The classic road trip games — I Spy, the Alphabet Game, looking for out-of-state license plates — are classics for a reason. Here are some more fun ideas for road trip games from Parent Hacks readers.

4. Follow a paper roadmap.

Don’t underestimate the fun of a good, old-fashioned paper roadmap. Kids will get a kick out of how “old-fashioned” they are (at least my kids think they’re old-fashioned). Highlight the day’s route on the map so they can follow along. They might stumble on an interesting side-trip.

Bonus: if you’re using your cell phone’s GPS, you’ll have a navigational backup in case you lose signal.

5. Fill in Mad Libs, then read them out loud.

A book of Mad Libs is a secret weapon for road trips — fun, educational, and totally engaging for the whole family.

6. Research attractions and restaurants at your destination

This involves electronics, but keeps older kids invested in the journey. Ask your kids to pull out their phones and research things to do and places to eat at your destination. Point them to Yelp reviews, TripAdvisor, or a local tourism site. The more kids have a hand in the travel planning, the more fun the trip will be for everyone.

I’d love to hear some more ideas for road trip entertainment. Post them in the comments or on your social profile tagged with #parenthacks.

My thanks to Embassy Suites for sponsoring this post. All Embassy Suites rooms are two-room suites equipped with a refrigerator, microwave, and coffeemaker. Also included: a free hot, cooked-to-order breakfast, and a nightly reception with snacks, drinks, and fun activities for the kids.

One of the highlights of my week was Lindsey Mead’s post Everything Is Changing. It’s a beautiful post (she’s an incredible writer) but it also brought to mind what happens when we talk honestly about parenting online. A post and a conversation leads to another post and more conversation, and we feel less alone.

The other highlight: I had the honor of being part Karen Walrond’s Thrive Portrait Project. Karen is celebrating, with images and words, “women who are over the age of 40…who rage against the idea that they should fade.” DAMN. How amazing is that?

About two years ago, at the end of my daughter’s dental checkup, my dentist gave me a sympathetic look and said the word I’d been expecting for a while: braces.

I wasn’t surprised. We all knew she’d eventually need them. But memories of my own braces made me tired just thinking about it…for Mimi, and for Rael and me. Orthodontics are a major undertaking for the entire family.

I also had a chip on my shoulder because my middle school orthodontist cheerfully told me to throw my retainers away at the end of my treatment. So, as an adult, my teeth are crooked again.

Me, in all my middle school glory.

We visited a local orthodontist who told us my daughter should wait till middle school to begin treatment, so we filed the paperwork away and made plans to get back in touch when she was ready.

Then, about nine months ago, Invisalign contacted me to discuss a partnership. Needless to say my ears perked up because my daughter is now in middle school and the time to make a decision had come.

(If you’re not familiar with Invisalign, it’s an alternative to traditional braces that uses a series of clear, removable plastic aligners to gradually reposition and straighten teeth.)

After much back-and-forth discussion and an updated orthodontic evaluation, we determined that not only is Mimi a good candidate for Invisalign, so am I. So this month, we embark on a mother-daughter adventure in orthodontia!

The opportunity to work with Invisalign is a fantastic one for my family (given that our dental insurance doesn’t cover orthodontic treatment). But that’s not enough to get me to sign on with a sponsor. It wouldn’t be helpful if all I did were to subject you to pictures of Mimi’s and my open mouths followed by shiny, happy stories about our experience.

I’ll be documenting our treatment over the next year or so to share what Invisalign is really like (warts and all). When I was researching treatment options for my daughter, I pored over personal accounts of treatment online. Many people love Invisalign, and others don’t like it at all. My goal is to provide an honest, balanced appraisal of how (or if) Invisalign works for us — the difficulties as well as the benefits.

I’ve also heard there’s quite a difference between the teen and adult Invisalign experience. According to our orthodontist, adults can be harder to treat than teens because they’re less reliable about wearing their aligners! I’m a rule-follower, so I don’t expect that will be a problem, but time will tell.

I’m excited to be able to do this with my daughter and to share it here with you. If you’ve got orthodontic treatment in your future, I hope you’ll follow along.

I read a lot every week, and have been sharing links I like on Twitter and Facebook for years. Before social media, I used to do a regular blog post full of links I’d saved in Delicious. Who remembers Delicious?? #oldschool

For me (community junkie that I am) one of the perks of writing online is that it’s part of an ecosystem. You get to share your stuff, but you also get to share other people’s stuff.

Parent Hacks has always celebrated collective wisdom, and what is the Internet if not that? I know, there’s plenty of crap to wade through, which is why I like sharing the gems when I find them.

It’s time to resurrect the weekly link roundup post so you don’t have to follow me somewhere else to see what I’m reading, and so the folks whose work I appreciate get some good, old-fashioned link love.

I’m aiming to publish a Links I Like roundup here most Fridays. Let me know what you think!

If your kid’s going to overnight summer camp for the first time, you’ve both got an adventure ahead of you. Summer camp can do wonders for kids’ self-confidence and independence, not to mention being a blast for both of you (hello kid-free time!).

But before you can kick back with your lemonade, you’ve got some preparation to do. If you’ve already seen the summer camp’s packing list, you know what I’m talking about. But it’s all doable — all you need is a basic plan and a couple relaxed weeks to carry it out.

Note: This post contains affiliate links to the products I mention. For more about how (and why) I work with sponsors and affiliates, see my Sponsored Content FAQ.

Preparing for your kid’s first time at summer camp: the big picture

The keys to getting your kid ready for summer camp without driving yourself nuts are to start early and stay calm.

1. Now is not too early to start packing.

Most summer camps publish a camp packing list months in advance. The earlier you begin tossing supplies into a big box or the corner of your kid’s room, the less last-minute scrambling you’ll have to do. Now is not too soon to begin the search for the sunglasses and bandanas.

2. Stay as calm as you can.

That probably sounds like “don’t worry” — the most useless advice ever. Consider this a gentle, no-guilt reminder that the more worked up you get about packing, the more likely your kid will pick up on your tension.

Look, nobody’s perfect. Packing for summer camp is a big job, and expecting yourself to do it with a smile on your face the entire time is unrealistic. All the more reason to spread the job out over a long time, and break it into manageable 15-minute chunks. Plus, anything you forget can probably be borrowed or procured at the camp store.

Packing tips for first-time summer campers

There’s not much I can add to the packing list your summer camp has already provided you. But I can offer you some advice that will make the process go easier (and cheaper).

3. Pack old clothes and gear.

Any summer camp worth its salt is tough on clothes and gear. When my son came home from his first time away at summer camp, his stuff was trashed. Much of it was unsalvageable. As I like to say, “Good! It meant you had fun!”

Bottom line: pack old, worn clothes. Pack towels, sheets and pillowcases you don’t mind throwing away. If the cabins are rustic, I might make an exception for a good-quality sleeping bag (staying warm and comfortable at night is crucial to one’s happiness at camp), but otherwise, head to Goodwill.

4. Involve your kid in every step of the packing.

Your kid will be in charge of her stuff after you drop her off at camp, so she needs to know exactly what’s in her bag(s) and where it’s packed.

She’ll also be in charge of packing it all up when it’s time to come home, so give her some practice now — you need the help, anyway.

I learned about Mabel’s Labels from an old friend who’s a professional organizer. She swore by the quality and durability of these labels (especially when washed). I pretty much do what she says when it comes to getting organized, so I went ahead and bought a pack for each kid. I’m glad I did…the quality is fabulous. I still find labels in some of my kids’ things a year later.

6. Pack extra underwear, socks, and t-shirts.

Kids get dirtier and wetter at camp than anyone expects, and you never know what the laundry situation will be.

7. Double up on hats and sunglasses.

Sun protection is a must, and replacements from the camp store might be cheesy and/or expensive.

8. Make sure your kid can handle the bag himself.

Choose a bag your kid can carry, roll or drag by himself. I’m not saying he won’t have any help, but he needs to get into the mindset that his stuff is his responsibility. A lightweight duffel is simple, roomy, and squashable under a bunk.

Helping kids emotionally prepare for overnight camp

There’s the packing, and then there’s the preparing. Overnight summer camp is a big step up from a weekend sleepover. Here are some tips for helping your kid feel ready:

9. Practice independence skills before camp starts.

Your kid’s going to be managing her basic hygiene and gear by herself. If she needs practice combing her long hair or handling basic cleanup chores, give her the time to learn.

10. When talking about camp, follow your kid’s lead.

I’m famously overenthusiastic. People have made fun of me for years because I get excited to the point of goofiness. I had to put a lid on it during the weeks before camp.

Constantly hearing IT’S GONNA BE SOOOOO FUUUUUUN!!!! from me wouldn’t exactly leave room for my kids to have their own feelings and reactions. I’m lucky that neither of them were particularly anxious about going, but raising their expectations sky-high wouldn’t have helped anyone.

11. Go to the camp preview day if there is one.

I know it’s a hassle, but it’s worth it. Having a concrete picture in mind when your kid thinks “camp” helps with the jitters.

12. Get the drop-off logistics down.

Your kid will feel better on drop-off day if you are 100% clear on the details. Is she arriving at camp on a bus or are you driving? Are you walking her to her cabin or passing her off to the counselors at the entrance? Will there be lunch? Do you need to fill in a bunch of forms at arrival or can you do that ahead of time?

13. Find out the camp’s mail and care package policy.

Campers may forget to send mail, but they love to receive it. Drop a postcard or two in the mail starting the day camp begins.

Care packages are optional (seriously). If you do send one, include an inexpensive favor your kid can share with cabinmates. (I sent my son a package of mustache straws.)

14. If the camp has a no cell phone policy, trust it.

This one’s a toughie, because you want your kid to be able to reach you in an emergency. But there’s a good reason most camps ask kids to leave cell phones behind. The obvious electronic distraction would take away from the camp experience, and the direct line home makes homesickness last longer.

15. Once your kid’s away at camp, remember that no news is good news.

You did the research. You trusted the camp enough to send your kid there. You filled in all the medical and contact forms. Know that the camp staff are professionals when it comes to keeping kids safe, and at communicating when there’s a problem.

I’m not gonna lie. It was hard to be out of contact with my kid. Way harder than I expected. But the distance was so good for all of us.