I made this.

I made you this. (Mainly because I need to raise some money for something ridiculous, stupid and awesome.) It’s the perfect refrigerator magnet (as you might remember from my book). It works in a multitude of ways: Scares off people stealing from your fridge. Threatens your spouse during an argument when you aren’t speaking to them. Helps you stay on your diet.

Please oh please oh please come to the Philadelphia area on your next book tour. We have cheese steak and delicious pizza and Pennsylvania Dutch Country where we have towns named Intercourse and Blue Ball. Seriously.

How do I start a blog? Basically, I love to laugh, I like to drink, I hate people and I work with people….oh wait, you already wrote the book and blog, so I guess my work here is done. THANKS! So, can you come to the Pacific Northwest on your book tour? It rains every freakin’ day up here, but that means we read alot.

I would buy this magnet and put it up at work because someone keeps stealing my Diet Peach Iced Tea Snapples, but I’m already in big trouble at work for sending a series of “inappropriate” emails to a colleague this week (which I just posted about on my blog.)

I’m also in trouble for randomly jamming my head in peoples’ offices during lunch to make sure they’re not drinking Diet Peach Iced Tea Snapple.

That magnet is so awesome, I totally must have it. And probably some for my friends, too. I wonder if I could go to hypnosis so I could forget I bought it and then completely convince myself never to eat candy again…because of the poison, of course!😉

The Open Letter to Teenagers was an awesome PSA , much better than say … TEEN MOM..
Oiy. I don’t know why that show is still on.
Buying this magnet for my house, but somehow I think it would be so much better in a work enviornment..

I will come back later to get one, love-freaking-love this. You rock and inspired me to send my ‘momblog’ to auto-pilot and start one that I can really speak my mind on, relentlessly with all the truthful, crazy pieces of bitching satire sarcasm I can possibly spit out, with out drowning in a drama pool of troll comments. Keep slapping ’em around, Lady.

Hello?? YOU are raising money for something ‘ridiculous, stupid, and awesome’ and no one asks you WHAT IT IS??? Enquiring minds want to know!!!! (Because I have a feeling your version of ridiculous, stupid, and awesome way eclipses most peoples…)

Hmmmmm….can I get licesing rights to this because I think on college campuses…have you ever had to live with 5 girls???
They eat all your stuff and then pretend you never had it in the fridge to begin with…bitches.
This would totally keep them from tampering with other people’s yogurts.

Would putting this on the work refrigerator be a bad idea? We have a food bandit. He is evil. He loves Greek yogurt, cheese, and basically everything that unsuspecting coworkers leave in the fridge. Even if it is clearly marked in Sharpie.

This thing you’re raising money for – is it a zombie rat because I think I may have seen one on eBay.

As for the magnet, I shall buy multiple quantities. Then when I visit other people’s homes, I can place a magnet on their fridge like a magnet bandit and watch the drama unfold. Thank you for providing me with a do-it-yourself soap opera.

I am SO getting this magnet. The Hubby is constantly accusing me of trying to poison him. Just because I fed him some week old pasta once because I didn’t check the expiration date. Geez…. I mean, I had JUST bought it. It’s the damn store’s fault for selling me outdated food. Okay, so he vomitted and had cramps…blah blah blah…waaahhh….so SORRRYYY! Some people are sooo touchy. So now he SMELLS everything. Opens every container and sniffs like a fucking bomb sniffing dog and makes this face…this face that can only be described as the one you’d see if someone just saw Chloris Leachman naked. Yeah. That face. So I figure the fridge magnet will save us both a lot of aggravation. Thank you!

This will not work with my spouse…she does not eat leftovers. And when she does cook, I have to eat what she cooks. As for my god-family, they would just laugh about this…they are witches (literally, witches–the hexing kind).

It’s possible my fridge (or something in it) could attack when I open it right now, which only makes me avoid cleaning it. I’m afraid I’ve started a colony of aliens/demons/creatures in there…like in Men in Black II when K was the god of the locker people.

On the bright side, I’ve lost five pounds. Effective diet trick: poor housekeeping!

So today I’m sure we spotted a feral young rooster in our street. The first thought through my head was “knock knock motherfucker” which I am glad didn’t come out since my kids and neighbors were right there too.

I think the magnets are terrific. I’d love to stash a few in my purse when I go to visit family and slap those bad boys on their fridge on my way out. Surprise! Or, when you stay in a hotel you could leave one for the maid as a tip so when she gets really annoying people with a child who poops in the tub (yes, this happened to us) on day two she can slap one on the fridge right after she finishes vaccuuming. Awesome!

I was so excited to buy this for the frig – then remembered that my whole ‘put it on there for when I’m mad and not speaking to my partner’ plan wouldn’t work since she reads your blog, too. Your popularity is kind of getting in my way. ; )

And I can’t help but ask, what is the ridiculous, stupid and awesome thing you’re trying to fund??

It is the running joke that after every disagreement, whether settled or not, my husband switches plates with me because, “You won’t be killing me tonight.” Little does he know that I make our plates at the same time and only hold the one I don’t want so that the one I wind up with has the big piece of chicken. He will lose his shit when he sees this magnet, especially if I customize it to say tiny at the bottom: switch plates all you want, motherfucker.

I just sent the open letter to teenagers to my sister, who is NOT a teenager but IS the mother of a toddler who woke up screaming last night at 12:30 and stayed up until 4 for absolutely no reason at all. My sister needed the laugh today, mostly so she won’t murder the baby later.

LOVE the open letter to teens post. As the mom of two teenage boys, I’ve embarrassed them the last few years by openly discussing condoms. When I send my oldest off to college, I’ll be sending him with a dorm fridge and a big box of Trojans. I will be finished with the baby-side of this parenting gig – I’m not raising grand babies.

I’m sure this has been pointed out to you (probably many times) before, but if it hasn’t, let me be the first to tell you that Dooce’s “Stuff I found while looking around” she started positing about 6 Months ago is a DIRECT ripoff of your “Shit I was doing when I wasn’t here…”. Just sayin’… Oh and just saying this too TheBlogess>TheDunce, oops I meant TheDooce.

LOVE that letter to teens, I’m going to print that out and give it to each of my kids on their 13th birthday with a note at the bottom that says “And look, we already have a dog!” That should guarantee NO surprises for me! Right? Tell me I’m right!

You had me at ” I’m going one last book tour in a few weeks. More info coming soon…” Please please please let there be Kansas somewhere on the list. Or even Kansas City, MO – I’d totally make the drive…

So I recommended your book today as part of my summer reading list. My husband and I literally fought over the book and there were some really touch and go times that I thought some of the strangers at the beach may stage an intervention and call the psych ward because I was laughing so loudly while reading it. I really loved the book and have been recommending it to everyone I know…well, everyone I know that is awesome. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for you when you are on your next book tour. Would love to stalk you (um, did I say that out loud), if you are in the Seattle area.

I so need one of those magnets. Except that I live alone, so it might make me worry that I have an alternate personality staging a murder-suicide. Also, the teenagers wanting babies article? I may have to distribute that at local high schools.

Have you ever made a “No Soliciting” sign? If not, would you? I really need one, and I’d prefer a funny one that would make the bastards who ring the doorbell in spite of the no soliciting sign think I’m adorable and leave me alone.

I really really reaaaally want that magnet!🙂 Let me just say that for whatever the crazy reason, I hadn’t seen your blog until only recently and have quite fallen in love with it! You’re hilarious! I could only dream to be like you.

Getting tired of Co-Workers stealing food from the Community Fridge? Post one of these bad boys on the door and see how long it takes HR to come knocking on everyone’s door asking who’s bright idea it was. Then you can blame it on the Bloggess, because if that doesn’t raise an eyebrow before you explain yourself, nothing will. (I’m pretty sure HR people don’t read The Bloggess, because it has nothing to do with work related activities or being an asshole. And by HR people, I mean, like, the higher-ups who do all the firing and general lame-ass shit)

BAUGHT IT! When it came my husband was very curious what was inside the envelope and got very annoyed when I did not open it in front of him. After he left for work I moved all the magnets around so this one was sitting in the middle of the fridge, at eye level, alone and obvious. He took a picture of it and texted it to me with a note saying “really?”. I dont think he really understand me sometimes……

I bought ten 3″x5″ magnets. Got them, words cropped off top and bottom. I email customer support and attach picture. They ask me if I want a refund and I say I’d rather have the magnets with all the words like I thought I would be getting. They say no problem. Get replacement (as in one instead of 10) magnet and it’s still “in the refrigerator / Good Luck” only. I was trying to do my bid to support the awesome Bloggess store, but I give up. ; )

I LOVE the magnet and am so getting one. I also want to thank you for finally helping me solve the problem of what I was bringing my campmates as a gift this year at Burning Man. We have losers come into camp sometimes to steal out of coolers…so I borrowed your design and went to zazzle to make stickers that say I’ve poisoned something in the cooler…my friends will love it and the thieves will hopefully think twice before messing with our camp coolers. Thank you so much! Your blog brightens my every week.

All in the Family: Courtney LeBlanc's poetry chapbook is an honest and raw look into the dynamics of family relationships, the good, the bad, and the oh-so ugly; it'll make you cringe, cry, laugh, smile, and appreciate the relationships you have with your family.