I love avocados, sometimes (read: daily) stand on my head to get my creative juices flowing, and I could listen to The Beatles sing, “I’ve Just Seen A Face” everyday, for the rest of forever.

Wondering what goes on here? Yup, so are the rest of us.

1. I am a lifestyle photographer. I have the most remarkable clients in the world, and I share their images here to inspire us all to live life with greater love, meaning and joy.

2. I am a writer. This blog is full of many of the curious thinks I have thunk.

3. I am a speaker and life/business consultant. I post upcoming speaking engagements and consulting information here as well.

4. I am most fulfilled by my work as a wife and mother to my 4 sons, one of whom now lives in Heaven. I share bits and pieces of our journey here on this blog. Including our ongoing struggle with grief, our experiences with ADHD and SPD, and our solid faith in a God much bigger than the challenges we face.

But ultimately, I hope that this blog is about something much bigger than all of that.My dream is for this blog to be a place where real life comes to be celebrated and enthusiastically embraced. Not just the pretty stuff, with tailored hems, clean lines,and the new colors for spring . . . but everything else, too. The frazzled mornings, broken hearts, crazy dreams, messy kitchens. . . even the fear, failure, hopelessness and devastation. I want this blog to be a place for every bit of what makes us all living, breathing, feeling human beings, experiencing together this remarkable thing called life.

May this be a place of passion, purpose, laughter, tears, friendship, encouragement and inspiration for us all.

In 2010, our perfect *”Baby Gavin” returned to Heaven after losing a courageous battle with **Pertussis (whooping cough). We are eternally and profoundly grateful to the thousands upon thousands (upon thousands) of friends and strangers from all over the world, of all faiths and creeds, who united with our family in prayer during Baby Gavin’s horrific illness and who grieved with us and continued to petition God in our behalf during the dark days following his tragic death. You may read Gavin’s story as it unfolded by visiting my old blog here. I am committed to sharing my ongoing struggles with grief and our journey toward joy here on the new blog. I am always humbled and amazed by the continued outpouring of love and support. Thank you for sharing in our journey and inspiring us with your unceasing love! God is good!

*My brother Gavin passed away unexpectedly in 2007. With all these Angel Gavins, it can get a little confusing at times, so just know that when I refer to “Gavin” I’m referring to my wonderful brother. When I refer to “Baby Gavin,” it is in reference to my perfect son, both of whom I cannot wait to see in Heaven!

**You will periodically see me blog about The Sounds of Pertussis campaign. I am an unpaid spokesperson and am only compensated travel expenses where applicable for my involvement with this important cause. Join our fight against this deadly communicable disease at www.soundsofpertussis.com or like us on facebook at www.facebook.com/soundsofpertussis.

Over the last couple of weeks, as I’ve sincerely worked to achieve a higher level of overall happiness, this question has come to my mind over and over (and over) again: does it take as much work to be unhappy as it does to be happy?

I sincerely wonder.

Time is the great equalizer—we all have precisely the same number of hours in each and every day. What differentiates one of us from the next is not how much time we have at our disposal, rather it’s how we choose to invest those 24 hours every day.

I threw this design together, but the phrase is not my own.
It’s been all over Pinterest, Instagram and the www.

Let’s push pause on the discussion of happiness for 32 seconds and think about this concept in general, starting with some introspection: what is your goal? Greater happiness? Increased success? A higher level of productivity? An enhanced level of gratitude? Now think of someone who has achieved the end in mind you are anxious to achieve. Do they make different decisions with their time than you do? Perhaps? It’s definitely worth thinking about.

(Un-pause.)

My personal goal is an increased level of happiness in my life. Thus, I’m asking myself the following:

1. Do happy people invest their time more wisely than I do?
2. Assuming (as I am) that the answer to the question above is “yes,” the obvious follow up would be: How do happy people’s decisions with their time differ from my own—what, specifically, are they doing differently than I am?

Happy vs Unhappy: is the amount of work the same?

So. . . . I’ve had this line of thought running through my head (and heart) on repeat, and today, I happened “randomly” across the following quote from author Carlos Castaneda:

“The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.”

I say “randomly,” because I really don’t feel there was anything random about it. The moment I read those words, their validity fell upon my heart like a ton of bricks. It was a message I needed to receive, in a moment when I sincerely needed to receive it.

What do YOU think?

I am not an expert on happiness (clearly). I’m genuinely eager to explore this subject right along with the rest of you! So please, tell me what you think!

1. What kinds of choices with their time do you think happy people make?
2. Or perhaps a better question is: what kinds of actions, thoughts etc do happy people choose NOT to waste their time on?
3. What kinds of choices with your time tend to make you happiest?
4. If you think back on a time of sincere happiness, how were you choosing to invest your time during that period of your life?

Let me know any of your thoughts in the comments below! Don’t feel like you have to answer each of the numerical questions above! Just let me know how YOU feel as it relates to the subject of time and happiness—be as brief or as long winded as you like! As always, I promise to do my best to respond to each of your comments personally!

Here’s to greater happiness, today!

xo,

Nat

Disclaimer:

Please don’t misunderstand. I am a generally happy human being. I am. But I want to be happier. I think there is greater happiness available to me. . . to each of us, and I want to get out there and find every ounce of that joy that I possibly can! (I KNOW you want the same! Just as time is an equalizer, I’d venture to say that the pursuit of happiness is an equalizer as well. . .)

Aussie Sarah:
This is spot on Nat! Sometime, I am ashamed to admit, I can actually feel myself choosing the unhappy response because I'm feeling mad or sad and in that moment I want to wallow. It never bodes well for me so it makes no sense. I love the idea of consciously choosing happiness. Once again, thank you lovely! November 11, 2013 8:06 pm

Shannon:
Serving others, indulging in scriptures at least once a day and finding time for myself in a workout or alike fitness activity. It's finding or rather making time and disregarding the "social media" lifestyles, those I believe suck the life out of people. Remove from the negatively you start to live and breathe more positively . November 11, 2013 8:09 pm

Jennifer:
I want to sincerely thank you for this series. Your timing for my life could not have been more spot-on. Thanks! November 11, 2013 8:13 pm

Jennifer:
Natalie, thank you so much for sharing your heart and thoughts on Happiness. I was recently talking to a friend and they asked, who do you know who is truly happy. This was several weeks ago and you came to my mind, because from my limited time with you I sense your honest desire for intentional happiness. Literally that evening you posted your first blog on Happiness :)
I believe Happiness is like a tiny but very important muscle, they kind just going for a jog doesn't work, but rather you have to learn to find it, use it, stretch it, but once you do, you notice significant change in your body. Happiness doesn't focus on the result, or situation but rather the process.
Things that make me happy and remind me to chose to pursue and spend my time happy, or help me when I am not...a hug, nothing better than a hug from my hubby, or nephews, a friend. Long hot showers, and physical activity whether a walk, a barre class or yoga.
Anyways, kinda rambling, but thank you for asking these questions, initiating and continuing the conversation! WHAT IF people thought of me as Happy, and sensed and say God's love and joy in my life? WHAT IF, i stopped being consumed by the outcome and enjoyed the process? November 11, 2013 8:20 pm

Jen:
I just LOVE this!! I find if I take time to read - even for just a little bit each day, makes me so much happier! The one time in each day that I carve out a little 'me' time that I fully enjoy! November 11, 2013 8:20 pm

natalie:
Sarah! YES YES YES YES YES! I just want to shout AMEN! I will sit in a messy room all day, feeling my energy being sapped more and more with every moment that passes, but feeling as though I can't possibly stop what I'm doing to clean it up! When in reality, if I would just take the 5 minutes necessary to do some quicky tidying, my entire day would be happier and more productive. I feel you, woman. November 11, 2013 8:20 pm

Rachelle L:
Yep- I really want to read the book now. I think this is a super paradigm shift for me- November 11, 2013 8:21 pm

Heather:
I try to be in the moment with my kids each day. Play with them on the floor, appreciate all they do and say. That makes me SO much happier each day November 11, 2013 8:21 pm

natalie:
Shannon, SO MUCH TRUTH HERE! Yes! On all three counts! Scriptures, exercise, and cutting back on social media all definitely affect our overall happiness levels! The social media (while clearly not the most important of the three) is a HUGE factor in so many people's lives right now-MINE INCLUDED! I have to make a concerted effort to spend less time "plugged in." It's not easy to do in this day and age, but boy is it worth it! November 11, 2013 8:22 pm

natalie:
Jennifer, Oh my word! THANK YOU for your loving support. Sincerely. It means more than you could ever know! xoxo November 11, 2013 8:23 pm

natalie:
Heather, You are SO RIGHT! It's amazing how a quick "peek" at the computer can steal away an entire afternoon before you've even realized what happened! Making it a real priority to be present blesses our own hearts and lives and the hearts and lives of those around us (especially our children and spouse) as well! Love this! LOVE! November 11, 2013 8:25 pm

natalie:
Rachelle, It's a GREAT read. I'm not all the way through, and it's already transforming my life. xxoo! November 11, 2013 8:25 pm

natalie:
Jen, YES! Reading is an infinitely more fulfilling way to relax and unwind than television or internet. And yet. . . hulu. . .netflix. . . both just so tempting!!!! But not nearly as satisfying! Love this one! November 11, 2013 8:26 pm

Stephanie LAVIN:
Drinking green smoothies, running at 4:44 am , playing with my kids! Actually doing a load of laundry a day! Cleaning up the daily chaos in bins to help organize. Pray. Genuinely pray to God for help. Help to stay strong and smile through the shit. That's how I do it and I fail and succeed daily! November 11, 2013 8:32 pm

Taylor:
I think that a lot of what makes me happy is making deliberate choices--- when I'm deliberate, I am most happy. When I'm in charge of my life, and not just lazily going from activity to activity, I am most happiest!
I'm happiest serving not only my family as a wife and mother, but also myself!! It think that's important: taking care of MYSELF. November 11, 2013 8:35 pm

Belinda Olsen:
Natalie! I hope I meet you one day so I can give you a huge hug! I desperately needed to read this post. We recently had an adoption fall through and I've had a hard time getting out of the funk. I've been thinking about the choices happy people make that have been through the same situation. Idle time is definitely not my friend. I also have been working in setting realistic expectations of the number of things I can achieve in a day. November 11, 2013 8:36 pm

Lexington Smithson:
My husband and I have been struggling with this concept. We are always finding reasons to be down: work schedule, not making enough money, no time, our health- the list goes on. Recently I decided that I have the power to control these thoughts. Ive known this concept but applying it is a different story. Ive been trying to see the good in each day and situation and make changes that i can control. This weekend was a rough one as I could not get my husband out of the dark place he was in. It breaks my heart and I sometimes take it personal. Life is a journey and happiness is something I've said i wanted since i was little and I think I'm finally on the track I need to be on personally to achieve that. I just hope I can encourage my husband and others around me and maybe it will help me too. Thanks for the therapy session!!! :) November 11, 2013 8:40 pm

natalie:
Steph! You make me so happy. We each fail and succeed daily, right? And part of happiness, I think, is making space for ourselves: for our humanity. . . for our failures as well as our successes. I need to get on the green smoothie train, I think. . . :) xo November 11, 2013 8:55 pm

natalie:
Taylor: Y.E.S. Being deliberate. When we just move through each day wondering why we're miserable. . . it's probably because we are just responding to stimuli rather than managing ourselves deliberately. Proactive vs reactive. Love this. November 11, 2013 8:56 pm

Shelly:
As I look back at my happiest times I realize they are always when I'm serving others -- and I tend to have the will and energy to serve others when I am not isolated and thinking of myself. I tend to isolate myself when I'm not taking care with what I eat and if I'm too sedentary. It's definitely a circle for me:) I've discovered that if I force myself to do something outside of myself I tend to be happier, and then I naturally take better care of myself. I've tried it many times the other way around -- by saying I need to take care of me first. It alone never fills me with joy. The service allows me to feel the desire to change things to better myself. When the two are coupled together, well, it's wonderful! I need to get there again... November 11, 2013 8:57 pm

natalie:
Belinda, Idle time is NOT my friend either. I think that is a lesson I've been learning lately more than any other. SERIOUSLY. I'm so sorry to hear about the adoption! I'll be praying for you. We're in the process of adopting as well, and that is my biggest fear. . . hope dashed. I'd rather just wait, hearing nothing for an eternity, than have a situation fall through. I'm sincerely so so sorry. xoxo November 11, 2013 8:58 pm

natalie:
Lexington: It's so hard to move forward with a goal when your spouse isn't totally onboard with you! I think every married person on this planet would agree. BUT I also KNOW that if we can stick with our goals. . . eventually our partners really do come around—they see the change in us, and they want that for themselves too! About . . . gosh. . . like 7 years ago maybe?? haha! Richie started to work on being healthier. I wasn't really on board. It was HARD for him to eat well and exercise when I wasn't totally committed to doing the same. I didn't make the environment very supportive of his goal, let's just say that. But he stuck with it, and after a month ish, I saw the change in him and wanted it for myself! He was losing weight, yes, but more than that, his entire countenance was brighter. He was happier! It was inspiring. Our family is STILL so much healthier to this day because of the choice he made to stick with it 7 years ago! All that said, stick with it, Lady! Our thoughts are SO POWERFUL! It's worth the effort! And I just know your husband will come around too! xxoo! Natalie November 11, 2013 9:02 pm

natalie:
Shelly, I love this! You have been such a huge example to all of us in this regard! No one serves as joyfully as you do! We all see your joy, and that sincerely makes us (all of us-kids, grandkids, etc) eager to serve more as well! I love you! November 11, 2013 9:04 pm

Kristy DeGraaf:
Natalie - I've been thinking about this a LOT lately as well. I've been reading some things and following some blogs about the Law of Attraction and the concept that we are cocreaters with God and we literally can create our own reality. Whatever we believe will happen will. We will repeat the same negative patterns in our lives over and over if we believe that we are doomed to be unhappy or a failure or too busy or whatever it is. So I've been working on creating the realities that I want. And it's been a fun journey. Still working on it…. November 11, 2013 9:22 pm

Allie:
Great post! Sometimes I think we get stuck in a rut of being unhappy. Then it just becomes easier. Being happy can be the easier choice, but it takes some work to achieve it. Thanks for your great insight. November 11, 2013 9:37 pm

Valerie N:
Natalie. Thank you for exploring this topic. It's something I've been thinking about for a very long time. In response to your post, I think that happiest people probably don't think as many "what ifs" as I do. I find that when my mind gets into the act of "what if this" and "what if that," it snowballs and makes me very unhappy. It also allows me to make up unrealistic scenarios in my head that bring about fear, anxiety, jealousy, envy, and other negative emotions. I wish I could learn to live more in the moment rather than thinking about what could be or what could've been. The happiest people I know are the ones that say, "This is awesome. Right here. Right now." November 11, 2013 10:56 pm

Lizz:
My friend Brienee sent me your way. This couldn't have come at a better time. I am really struggling with being happy as a stay at home/work from home mom. Thank you for inspiring me and bringing me back to reality, that I have a choice to be happy. November 11, 2013 11:16 pm

Sarah Brown:
I've been following this series on your blog and I love it! I think, for me, comparison is a HUGE source of unhappiness. The more I compare myself to others, the more I decide that I'm lacking. And that does nobody any good.
I've noticed, conversely, the more time I spend creating, the happier and more present I feel. It can be editing photos, or drawing things, or decorating my space- but it seems to put me in a mindset of contribution over comparison. November 12, 2013 12:07 am

Annie:
As I sort through the memories of my life, I truly believe that the times I've been the very happiest were the times I wasn't focused on trying to be happy … instead, it was the times I was focused on making the people around me–from my family to random strangers–happy. For me, my own happiness has always been the wonderful side effect of forgetting myself and thinking instead of those God has given me to love. November 12, 2013 12:23 am

jill thomas:
WOW! these happiness posts are rocking my world!! JUST WOW!
I love what Annie said! i think we live in a time that we "evaluate our happiness". We analyze everything! The times i have been the happiest is when i dont think about ... i just am happy. when i evaluate anything for too long, i will think of something bad about it. i try not to evaluate my relationship with my husband, i just try to love and serve him the best i can and be happy with what we have together. if i evaluate it, i will find flaws and find reasons not to be happy!
this being said ... i can DO better! i can evaluate myself and find ways i can do better and with in this, i will be happier!
for example, what you brought up: TIME MANAGEMENT! I am a happier person when i dont feel stressed. i am horrible at managing my time wisely, i live in the moment and have a hard time looking ahead at my day and thus, create very stressful situations for myself. i am happier and my children, family are happier, when i am not stressed! i think the #1 things i need to do better to be a happier person is to manage my time more wisely. This means scheduling out my day, not wasting time texting, or instagramming (SO MUCH. its okay a little right??). you get what i am saying. prioritizing my day and sticking to it. i am a happier person and thus my home is happier!
SORRY FOR THE NOVEL! i just love this discussion! November 12, 2013 1:49 am

jill thomas:
One more thing ... i read what sarah read about comparision. i think another source of inner happiness is a grateful heart. i am a huge believer that a grateful heart with cure most anything! when i am grateful ... truly grateful ... i have a inner happiness and i am able to be happy for others around me (and not compare!) it also helps me spend less money and that make me happy, hehe! :) November 12, 2013 1:53 am

Angel:
I discovered my key to happiness in our recent trip to Fiji, a place full of happy people! Happiness erupts in the present. Busyness, and the ensuing anxiety of being busy, abduct happiness. The "work" you speak of is learning how to "Just Be." When in the present, you remember to laugh, take in, feel, connect, hold, and, oh ya.....BREATHE! :). Love you, Nat November 12, 2013 2:41 am

Marcella Cook:
Thank You so much for your inspiration all the time. We met under difficult circumstances and you've been a role model for me since that time. This gives me food for thought and I'm sincerely wonder what makes me happy. November 12, 2013 4:35 am

cam:
something my mother taught me. Let the light in. Literally let light in your house, open your blinds, let the sun shine into your living room. Go outside, breathe the air, look at the sky, feel the sun on your face, touch the grass, smell the flowers. It is an instant pick me up.
have a quiet time out
when your inner voice is telling you that you failed, tell it right back yea but I succeeded at..... fill in the blank.
smile :) November 12, 2013 7:52 am

Chelsea Prince:
When I think back to my mission for the church I truly feel overwhelmed with pure joy. When I think of when I was the most happy I think of my mission. I actually have thought a lot about why I was so happy there. The conclusion I have come up with is because I was completely selfless and obedient. When I think only of others and how to bring them joy rather than dwelling on how I can be happy is when I am the happiest. It is times when I am not worried about what people think of me, or finances, or things about me. I truly believe in the phrase we have heard over and over again that President Hinckley tells of his father writing him and saying "forget yourself and get to work". We can apply that into our everyday lives. Love thinking about this Natalie! November 12, 2013 8:58 am

Camille:
Last night I went to Barnes and Noble to hear former International Space Station Commander Chris Hadfield speak. That man was saturated in happiness. Someone asked him what he misses about being in space. His response: "Absolutely nothing!" He said he cherished and loved the rare opportunity he had but why should he miss any of it when he lived it just like he is living today and he will live out tomorrow. I thought that was such an interesting perspective. Everyday is an adventure and if we seek it out, we will live everyday fulfilled and excited for the next. November 12, 2013 10:54 am

Stacy:
This post was perfect for me today ! With my husband losing his job two months ago , getting pregnant , me working full time, my electricity being shut off yesterday and all the other woes that come from having hardly any income coming in to where there's no money to pay for bills today I was determined to have a negative day because why not I thought to myself there is nothing going good in life right now !! Then I read your post and remind myself that there are many things I have to be grateful for like the home I live in , The baby I have in my tummy, my amazing hubby, my two beautiful children and for the opportunity everyday to wake up and put my shoulder to the wheel and push along. This post and series is what I need to remind me I have more than enough to be HAPPY about. Thanks Nat for always being the Happy Pushy go lucky gal who helps get me out of my rutt ;) Timing is everything and YOURS is always the best !! November 12, 2013 11:44 am

Diana:
A family fitness challenge sort of forced me to start exercising on a daily basis, and I realized that 30-60 minutes per day is a huge investment in my health and happiness! Until then, I was exercising about four times per week, but now I fit it in every day. I've realized I feel like I can take on anything if I get a workout in each day! Cheers to health and happiness, dears. :) November 12, 2013 12:02 pm

teresa:
I have a very clear idea of the person I want to be. And yet, I often find myself spending my time doing things that aren't necessarily congruous with that image. I've found that I am infinitely more happy if I take 30 seconds to question whether an activity (mindlessly watching tv vs spending time with a friend--or even spending time with a friend while mindlessly watching tv) is something the person I want to be would do. If I follow my initial instinct to the answer of that question I am always happier. Sometimes it is as simple as adding a friend or loved one to the activity that makes the shift for me. great post! November 12, 2013 12:29 pm

alisha:
I feel like I have heard a thousand katrillion times that when you stop to think about others, instead of yourself, and serve them with genuine love, then you will be soo much happier. And you know what? I really think it is true!! November 12, 2013 1:03 pm

Sharalee:
I guess I would say that yes, I would love to be "happier", but the reality is that it isn't my goal. My goal is to serve others, to love fully and to live in a way that honors my creator. If happiness is a bi-product of that, then awesome, but I feel like what I'm looking for is fulfillment, even in the midst of trial and struggle and pain, when happiness doesn't seem near. Does that make sense? November 13, 2013 11:33 am

Tami Christian:
October through December are also sad months for me. Each year I think that I am not going to let the echos of past years where things happened that were very sad effect me. Each year I seem to fail. Like someone else mentioned I feel myself letting the sadness take over and I seem to wallow in self pity until sometime into the new year. I love your messages on a happier today. It has inspired me to try harder to just BE happy. I am often looking for step-by-step instructions on how to be happy and there isn't any. I do find joy in working with the young women in my church. Serving does bring me happiness. But all too soon it seems sadness seems to trickle back in. Having said all of this, I have found though, having lost most everything I thought was important was actually one of the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wish I could have learned the lessons a little less painfully but now I find I appreciate the small things in life again. I can do hard things. It just isn't fun all the time. I love your blog, posts on instagram and your messages. Thanks Nichole. November 15, 2013 4:16 pm

Joy Bianchi Brown:
hi! I love your posts! My friend Tamara Lackey turned me on to you, and I genuinely resonate with your reasoning! I love the idea that it takes the same amount of work to be happy as unhappy, and that how we respond to our situation has as much to do with our happiness than anything.
I think the happiest I can remember is spending time with people I love -- when I don't have a deadline and I can just enjoy people -- mostly my children -- but truly anyone in my family. Ironically I need to really focus on focusing on them, not allowing other life to get in the way as I enjoy the time with those I love.
Happiness to you! November 15, 2013 4:49 pm

Lyssa Beth:
I love this idea. I've been in the biggest slump and just kind of depressed. It never occurred to me that the effort I put into feeling crappy can be flipped the other way. It's all in the way I look at things. Thank you! November 15, 2013 9:25 pm

Bluebird143:
I am the happiest when I choose to be present in my everyday life. When I spend my time doing the things I'm doing and being present in those moments rather than doing the things I'm doing while my brain is off thinking (worrying) about tomorrow, next week, next month. If I can spend my time in the present I am a much happier me! November 21, 2013 10:07 am

Rees Phillips:
Nice post but it leaves me with a question.... Why do you assume that anybody else is living a happier life and therefore making better decisions than you...?? from a cathartic soul.. January 11, 2014 12:27 pm

natalie:
Rees, Good question. To be clear, I don't assume that about everyone, all the time. I simply want to live the happiest life I'm able. . . and as I firmly believe that happiness is a product of agency, I want to be the best steward of my life I possibly can be by working toward happiness in meaningful ways, every day. xo, N March 17, 2014 9:09 am

Serge:
Very impressive storytelling. As I am searching the internet for inspiring wedding photos I stumble on this blog. I Love It! The Bokeh on the images are just spectacular. The image feel and use of tone surely defines some good taste in style. Thank for sharing. I will surely learn a lot from these images. September 21, 2016 7:45 am