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Random thoughts with sporadically profound meaning

Self-doubt and a flamethrower

Who knew it would only take a bit of positive feedback to light the spark that had been snuffed by my lack of creativity. It’s difficult to think that a mere 6 days ago my mind was a blank. I took a huge leap of faith and gave the beginnings of my novel to a very creative girl who works at the resort. She studies language and had been very persuasive about wanting to read it. I was almost physically ill as I timidly handed her the manilla envelope containing the fruits of my labor. Wanting to do nothing but slink back into my office and rock back and forth in the fetal position, I powered through the rest of my day and headed for home.

The next day I waited patiently (who am I kidding, I was a wreck) and, after not hearing from her and stressing myself to the maximum level, I reached out via text to see if she had read it. She had and the result was remarkable. She laboriously made notes as she read through each chapter and all of her feedback was great. She loved the story line. She was intrigued by the characters and she gave helpful insight into making the lead character a little more engaging and interesting.

Her positive and insightful observations started a chain reaction. What had been an extinguished pilot light raged into a deadly flamethrower and the ideas would not stop. I immediately re-worked the first chapter and began developing new plot lines for the upcoming chapters. I was writing again. My brain was firing on all cylinders and I felt that writing mojo for the first time in a long time.

To be continued……I hear the characters calling and I have to answer that call.

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8 thoughts on “Self-doubt and a flamethrower”

I was just explaining to my husband the other day the feeling of excitement/dread when you send something you’ve written into the nether. For me sometimes there is a sense of sadness at saying good-bye (in addition to the trembling fear of course). Good luck with the novel. Get yer ass back in the chair and keep writing. ;-).