Month: December 2017

I thought it was only fair to include this at the end of the list as its a re-release. But, if it was included in the list it would have been Number 1 and by some margin.

Lady Divine has a travelling Cavalcade of Perversion- a kind of circus including acts that are meant to attract yet repulse spectators. Acts such as The Puke Eater, The Bicycle Seat Sniffer and ‘two queers actually kissing on the lips!’ (this makes the paying viewers repulsed to the bottom of their stomach as much as the other spectacles they have witnessed. All except one guest who says “I know a couple of queers. In fact, I think my hairdresser’s a queer”).

But Lady Divine’s travelling sideshow is really a rouse to rob and kill the punters.

It was so amazing that Criterion/Janus Films chose to restore and remaster this early Waters’ masterpiece. Hopefully they’ll do the same with Waters’ other films (Pink Flamingos, Female Trouble and Polyester were all released by Criterion on Laserdisc in the 90s. I hope they are all released by Criterion on Blu ray).

It was great watching Divine get raped by a giant lobster and then go on a mad rampage like a very glamorous version of Godzilla- all on the big screen.

And the religious scene with Divine’s voiceover is one of the most wondrous visions I’ve ever experienced in a cinema- rosary job and all. Multiple Maniacs is the best religious movie this side of Pasolini’s The Gospel According to St. Matthew.

Even though Waters shot this classic on a cheap (and apparently stolen) camera in the late 60’s its a joy to look at. It looks beautiful in much the same way that Night of the Living Dead does in its restored and remastered form.

This year I also saw 4K rereleases of Taxi Driver, GoodFellas, Predator and Close Encounters of the Third Kind at the cinema. All these films are masterpieces and seeing them at the cinema looking and sounding great was a privilege.

9. Blade Runner 2049(Denis Villeneuve)

Its so difficult to make a sequel to a film that its a bona fide cult classic. Its almost like a suicide mission that is bound to fail.

But this film was amazing. A visual feast (and not just neon and noodles), a screenplay that warrants repeated viewings (a pleasure, not a chore) and a cast who got to grips with the material admirably. Ryan Gosling and Jared Leto were both amazing and seeing Harrison Ford again as Deckard was like meeting up with an old friend.

Oh, and a special mention goes to Dave Batista. Is this the greatest movie venture by an ex-WWE wrestler? He was one of the best things about a great movie.

8. Get Out(Jordan Peele)

In this film black men are being brainwashed into becoming a stereotype that is acceptable for affluent white people to either show off or have work as their housekeepers and gardeners.

Jordan Peele’s horror film is neither a reboot or remake and is that rarest of beasts- an original horror film. It also contained visuals and concepts that officially blew my mind. Check out the hypnosis/brainwashing scenes. Seriously mind-expanding stuff.

Black Lives Matter echoes loudly into this film with elements of inspiration from The Stepford Wives, Invasion of the Bodysnatchers and The Manchurian Candidate. But whilst all of these films ended on a sombre, pessimistic note (and were all the more powerful for it), Get Out ends positively. When I saw the film I found this to be a bit too twee by having everything tied with a great big bow. But now I like the ending. Everything in Horrorland doesn’t have be wall to wall misery and pessimism. Especially when we have enough of that in the news.

Apparently the Blu ray of Get Out contains an alternate, downbeat ending.

7. Diana: In Her Own Words(David Tillman)

I include this as whilst it was broadcast on TV in the UK its now on Netflix and is well worth watching.

As an anti-Royalist I had no respect for any of the Royals, Diana included. But on the day of this film being shown The Terrence Higgins Trust posted this picture on their Instagram profile and how Diana had changed the world’s stigma regarding HIV and AIDS with just a handshake and a photographer being present. My opinion quickly changed.

Prior to its airing there were reports that this documentary which was meant to be commemorating the 20th anniversary of Princess Diana’s death would be using videotapes of her speaking about her life which had been made for private use with her psychiatrist. Hence, before anyone had seen this film there were cries that was to be a tabloid style hatchet job of the princess and the Royals. There were also protestations from the Royal Family that this shouldn’t be aired.

After watching the programme its easy to see why they didn’t want it to be televised. The documentary was a sensitive examination of the torment of someone thrown feet first into an archaic system where outdated practices have been clung onto and encouraged. One of which was that mistresses were accepted within Royal relationships- the one Prince Charles had was Camilla Parker-Bowles. As Diana said in one of her taped interviews ‘Three people makes a relationship very crowded’.

The film brilliantly and poignantly showed how lonely and isolated Diana was and how she suffered for it. It was heartbreaking to watch.

After this programme was televised the public’s opinion was quickly reversed. There were questions in the papers as to whether a Royal Family was actually still valid and still needed especially after the revelations of this documentary. The power of filmmaking.

6. Tom of Finland(Thomas “Dome” Karukoski)

When I heard about a film being made about the life of Tom of Finland I was moist with anticipation. I love Tom’s art but knew nothing about the man himself.

I wasn’t disappointed. This film is funny, just as subversive as the man’s art and is also very sad in places. A revolution can happen through the creation of art and it’s distribution between friends and like-minded people especially when most people view the homoerotic content as sick and immoral. The film depicts this brilliantly and sensitively and pays Tom the respect he fully deserves.

Homophobia is quickly becoming a thing of the past. Tom of Finland is now regarded an artist and gay pioneer. As the final scene shows Tom appearing at a leathermans gathering. With his introduction the assembled crowd erupts into applause. Richly deserved.

5. Wonder Woman(Patty Jenkins)

I wasn’t going to go and see this film as I had seen the big budget mess that was Fatman (‘You’re racist!’) vs Superman and thought it was a massive mess that badly needed a new edit. But then the reviews for Wonder Woman were so glowing that I decided to give it a whirl.

I saw the film in IMAX. And I’m so glad I did. The film was an uplifting journey which espoused that nothing was impossible.

There has been much made of the ‘No Mans Land’ sequence and I can see why. Not only was it an amazing accomplishment but also a filmmaking tour de force. The sound alone in this scene was awe-inspiring with every step through the mud and gravel being heard as is every piece of exploding sharpnel and every bullet.

The frankly incredible No Man’s Land scene.

But whilst this was a scene that was a highlight of the film, the rest of the movie was absolutely joyous also. Other highlights for me were the young Wonder Woman learning her craft on the Amazonian island (including Robin Wright inhabiting her role amazingly), the voyage on the boat, the sequence in which Wonder Woman goes to an East End pub after going shopping in Selfridges, the Nazi characters especially the female Dr Mengeles, the scene in which Steve Prince is shown as a kind of suicide bomber to save lives rather than destroy them…in fact there are far too many scenes to mention here. The film was consistently brilliant from start to finish.

Wonder Woman goes shopping in Selfridges for, y’know, ladies things

Gal Gadot was perfectly cast as was Chris Pine and Lucy David as Steve Prince’s Maranda Hart-like funny secretary (who shows that you don’t have to be an Amazonian to be a plucky woman on more than one occasion). It was also great to see acting heavyweight David Thewlis as a baddie.

Patty Jenkins’ vision was amazing- the legend of Wonder Woman was brought to the big screen effortlessly which is no mean feat when a comic book character is so established and has been examined both in print and on the television screen extensively. Jenkins’ film felt fresh, invigorating and abounded with energy.

A female director and a female leading lady. There was a strong sense of (healthy) feminism about the film and also a strong sense of inclusion with the members of Wonder Woman’s team all being made to feel fully included and valued. But don’t worry- this is no social justice warrior hysteria-fest. If only feminism and inclusion in real life could be like they are depicted in this glorious film.

This film was a joy from start to finish. It also made megabucks at the box office. And thats the best thing that can happen in film terms- a brilliant film deserving the acclaim and huge box office receipts it gets.

4. Long Shot(Jacob LaMendola)

This is a Netflix exclusive. And its a cracker.

Juan Catalan is falsely accused of a murder. But he was actually at a baseball game. He sets out to prove his innocence with the help of his solicitor. And then things get surreal. And I mean REAL surreal! They say truth is stranger than fiction. And this documentary just compounds that theory. Theres also a lot of unexpected humour attached to this twist- and no, I’m not going to say what it is! You’ll need to watch Long Shot to find out.

A twisted series of events told brilliantly. This is a jewel in the crown of Netflix’s original productions that of course holds Making A Murderer. And just think- at some film festivals where screenings had the Netflix logo at the start some audience members started booing. Hows that for snobbery.

3. Detroit(Kathryn Bigelow)

A reenactment of the 12th Street Riot in Detroit, 1967, this film is a powder keg just like the events its captures. The film feels authentic and realistic (some films depicting events from the past feel like faux or post-ironic tellings that look completely fake and feel just as phony).

Police brutality fuelled by blatant and socially accepted racism are depicted without any kind of sugar coating or gloss. And to that extent theres one scene in this film that really pulls no punches- a sadistic, ‘Good Ol Boy’ police officer and his goons line up the suspects of a gun shot that was heard (ironically from a started pistol) in a motel and a kangaroo court is put into play- with horrific results.

This episode in the film reminded me of the more intensely shocking sequences from Last House on the Left or The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Uncompromising, close to the bone and all the more brilliant for showing this vile incident without censor or dilution.

Everything about this film was near perfect- Bigelow’s authentic vision and confident direction needs to be applauded. John Boyega was amazing (hes rapidly becoming one of the best actors working today) and Will Poulter as the sadistic cop was just as impressive.

In these times of division and Black Lives Matter, this film is a very important lesson from history for us to learn from. Or we can just needlessly repeat events.

2. Shin Godzilla(Hideaki Anno and Shinji Higuchi)

A Japanese reboot of the Godzilla legend- but with a major twist.

Yes, theres a huge monster reaping havoc through the streets of Japan. But the film also depicts the authorities reaction to such a disaster as bureaucratic wheels start to spin and we get to see every decision made, every reason why they has been made and the result of each decision with regards to Godzilla.

The story is told amazingly with the film building to a last resort having to be employed that may or may not work but really is a final solution as the clock is ticking, human lives are mounting up and whole areas are being destroyed.

And whats more- Godzilla himself looks fantastic and is aesthetically pleasing to the eye (like everything in the film). It must be hard to retell a story in a fresh way thats been done time and time before. But Shin Godzilla does it wonderfully.

If you want a silly, action packed monster movie akin to a Hollywood multiplex no-brainer then you’ll hate this.

But if you want an intelligent, thought provoking film that is well directed, looks beautiful and feels like nothing that has come before then this is your film.

1 Moonlight(Barry Jenkins)

I knew nothing about this film before I went to see it at the cinema. A tale of a boy’s early years and coming of age. Three different periods- three different actors.

I couldn’t believe that a film could be courageous enough to cover an issue that is still not spoken about- people of colour who are also gay. Being gay in the black community is still a huge taboo.

Moonlight is about exploring the world, finding answers, notions of what it means to be a man and examining masculinity in general, realisation of your identity not just to yourself but to those around you, fighting back, coming out and how people come to inhabit their respective roles in their world. And thats just the tip of the iceberg. This film has many, many layers but never feels contrived or forced.

The movie has a look I’ve never seen in a film before- like the feel and colour scheme of the film has been electrically charged. The look of the film as well as the events depicted within feel heightened and larger than life. This suits the film to a tee.

The diner scene near the end of the film was extraordinary- a rollercoaster of a scene that made me beam with joy by the end of it. A groundbreaking scene in a groundbreaking film.

Great direction, great acting by all involved but especially the three actors who tell the story of the central character. The film sears itself into your brain- and you feel like your life is richer for having seen it. Glorious.

In fact before the plot twist that occurs I thought this was a film about the most unlikable and privileged kids I’d ever seen on screen. In fact they’re so privileged that when they got to college they would be the biggest social justice warriors, I thought as I drifted away from the dull film.

In fact the only tension or frisson in the first half hour was more centred around the couple next to me who kept talking throughout the film. They stopped after I suddenly shrieked ‘For fucks sake! Shut the fuck up!’

But then the film has a huge volte face regarding its plot and it touches upon something that is still taboo in real life and on film- killers who are children. In fact, as soon as the film started to touch upon this film I instantly thought of the case of James Bulger. I was genuinely shocked to see the use of a can of paint in the film. Anyone who knows about the proceedings of Bulger’s death will know that paint figures predominantly. Was this coincidental or intentional?

The film could have now developed into something much darker, brutal and savage. It doesn’t exploit this brilliant plot twist and is a bit too obsessed with gloss rather than grit. The last 15 minutes are extremely contrived and more Hollywood than horrorshow. This is a shame. The very end of the film is funny but this should have been a vivid display of gallows humour rather than a jokey conclusion to a good but not great movie.

A wasted opportunity. But not a failure- in this era of reboots and reboots (the curse of modern film), any trace of originality and innovation should be cherished.

If you want to see a much better ‘killer kids’ film watch Bloody Birthday. The best Christmas horror films are still Black Christmas, Silent Night, Deadly Night and Christmas Evil. If you want to watch a movie about vapid, overprivileged kids, you’re asking the wrong person.

My local cinema, The Hyde Park Picturehouse here in Leeds regularly shows cult films. I was looking forward to seeing The Room as it had regularly played at a lot of the cult film cinemas like The Prince Charles Cinema and so I thought it must be some kind of newly discovered classic.

The screening I went to was almost sold out. I noticed that the rest of the audience were at least 20 years younger than me. Millennials. Not a good sign. I wondered if they could stay off social media on their mobile phones for the duration of the movie. Or if the concession stand would double up as a safe space for the evening.

And then it started.

Lets get the film’s plot out of the way first. Man is engaged to woman. Woman finds man boring and sleeps with his best friend. Fiancee confides to her mother that she doesn’t want to marry man. Woman tells friends that hubby-to-be got drunk and beat her. This continues until the end of the film where at the man’s birthday party he finds out about the affair and later blows his brains out.

The Room is a movie that shouldn’t be getting any attention of ANY kind. It makes your average straight to video film feel inspired. Is it a cult because of the depths the film plummets in terms of acting? Is it the wafer-thin plot that is almost non-existant? The cheap production standards? No- The Room doesn’t deserve any attention because its what a cult film should never be. Its boring.

Anyway- back to the cinema that I’m watching the movie in. The audience then starts to indulge in something that I think should be heavily penalised in a cinema. I feel like gagging just typing these two words- audience participation. This is the reason why I don’t go to see one of my favourite films, The Rocky Horror Picture Show when its showing on the big screen. Don’t get me wrong- I love the fact that a heterosexual man finds a legitimate reason to wear suspenders and heels in public rather than just in private. But when assholes in the audience start shouting lines at the screen and stand up to do dance moves so you can’t even see the friggin’ film then I start to get all punchy.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show- one of the best films ever made. Do I wanna see fans try to outperform Tim Curry? No.

And this is what happened with The Room- attention whore audience members trying to outdo each other by shouting out lines, laughing at moments that weren’t funny either intentionally or unintentionally (not that you could tell a lot of the time as you couldn’t hear over the noise being made) and throwing plastic spoons at the screen (just don’t ask). It was all so contrived- ‘I read on Facebook that you do that kind of thing at this movie!’ Then in that case have a screening for your friends in your halls of residence TV room. Imagine the poor cinema usher having to pick up all of the plastic spoons that some privileged student arsewipes threw at the screen- and all in the name of mediocre cinema supported by those trying to be ‘ironic’ *gag*.

My favourite scene from ‘The Room’- the end is in sight.

I have no problem with audience participation for some cult movies- as long as the cinema warns people beforehand that this is going to happen. This could be a trigger warning for non-millennials and people who just actually want to sit through the movie and be able to fucking hear it.

I think there should also be some screenings of films that have a tradition of ghastly audience participation where this kind of behaviour isn’t permitted. These screenings should be clearly advertised in advance. Cinema ushers should patrol the aisles with electric cattle prods or tasers so that one whiff of a plastic spoon and the perpetrator could be zapped and then ejected (into the care of the local police who would charge them with disorderly conduct no less).

Going to see a film doesn’t always have to be a case of buy your ticket, buy your snacks, find a seat, watch the film. It can also be a feat of showmanship where the fun isn’t confined to what goes on just on the screen. Think of William Castle and the genius gimmicks he used to to elevate an already brilliant film into a unique experience. John Waters was a Castle fan and used a gimmick himself- the Odorama card for his masterpiece Polyester. A number would appear on the screen in a certain scene and you’d scratch off the number on the Odorama scratch n sniff card you got when buying your ticket. Number 2 was exactly that- shit! This kind of showmanship was inspired, in most cases wasn’t done to detract from a dud of a film and the director was still calling the shots rather than some douchbag audience members trying to steal the limelight.

‘Emergo’: A skeleton that flies above the audience unexpectedly during House on Haunted Hill (1959)

But whilst I love cult cinema and midnight movies, many of the legitimate examples of this genre have a quality in common that The Room will never possess- in many cases they’re brilliant movies that really are worthy of adoration by those touched by their genius.

The people who go to screenings of The Room and profess to be fans of the film are adherers to the adage that some films are ‘so bad they’re good’. I’ve written about that HERE. Why celebrate bad cinema? A cult film should be so good, its brilliant and so you feel the need to tell all and sundry about why thats so.

A couple of years ago the same cinema showed Pink Flamingos. The audience were the same as any other going to see a cult film at The Hyde Park Picturehouse- keen cineasts who know about the film being shown, fans of the film already but also that strong minority (usually students) who have heard about Pink Flamingos being a ‘cult’ film so it must be ‘really bad, right?!’ I’m a huge John Waters fan and was ready to stab anyone who dared to laugh at the film instead of with it. And you know what? There was not one titter, guffaw or groan at the film’s expense from the peanut gallery. The audience was united in being won over by this cinematice masterpiece. They laughed at all the right places and gagged at the appropriate scenes of filth too. The power of Pink Flamingos- it was shocking in the 70s and if anything, in these times of the youngsters of today being offended by everything and being of an ultra-sensitive disposition, its even more shocking. But its also riproariously funny- a quality which has converted even the most staunch cinema snob to Waters’ genius. ‘Jesus! That was actually brilliant!’ said one student to her friend on leaving the screening. Praise indeed.

Pink Flamingos. Still the cult movie motherlode.

Please don’t resurrect any old piece of mediocre crap resplendent with bad acting and no plot and elevate it to cult status. Theres enough beige fare in popular culture as it is.

If you’re a fan of The Room you need to see more cult films- and good ones. If you’re a fan and go to screenings, throw plastic spoons at the screen, shout ‘Meanwhile, in San Francisco’ and try to dazzle fellow audience members with your wit, you’re a fucking tool.

The Room- 1 star out of 5- because its something any film should never be- fucking boring.