Archive for October, 2010

“Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.”Francois-Marie Arouet Voltaire

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What do you do when you don’t know how things will turn out?

Uncertainty is such a normal part of our life. On the other hand, there are situations where it effects us so profoundly, it either overwhelms us, motivates us or gives us hope.

In some situations you might thrive on that feeling of not knowing. Maybe you decide to strengthen your relationship with family and friends, or learn to live more consciously, maybe want to learn more about what you don’t know.

However, in other situations, uncertainty can invite anxiety and worry. It is in those times to remind yourself that you happily live with it in many other situations in your life.

Instead of fighting this particular uncertainty, maybe it is time to sit with it and allow it into your life.

Ask yourself these questions:
Can I think of a situation in my life where I was confronted with the reality of uncertainty?
How did I manage this uncertainty? How did I manage the anxiety and worry that came with it?
Can I think of a situation in my life where not-knowing showed me other possibilities of doing?
Can I think of an example where I experienced uncertainty as a gift?

++++To see how others have learned to look at uncertainty, watch this remarkable talk:
Stacey Kramer offers a moving, personal, 3-minute parable that shows how an unwanted experience — frightening, traumatic, costly — can turn out to be a priceless gift.

If you ever watched The Simpsons, you know that Homer loves sitting on his couch, wriggling into the “grooves” that have never failed to support him.

Feeling comfortable is a great thing and something we naturally strive for. However, there is also the other side of that coin. Staying with what you already know, can hold you back from growing or challenging yourself. From doing things differently. From trying something that you don’t know yet.

Think of something you would like to change in your life. It can be something really small. Do you put yourself out there, do you step out of your comfort zone? Or do you stay where it feels comfortable for you?

Doing something new is about taking a risk. However small, it often comes with that nagging feeling of unease. Though, if you never try, how will you be able to change anything?

Ask yourself:
Where do I comfortably sink into? Am I ok with that?
Would I be willing to stretch my comfort zone?
What would be different if I would step out of my comfort zone?

“There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range risks of comfortable inaction.”

Small actions often seem to be the way out of situations that overwhelm us. This is my experience in working with people who find themselves in dark spaces or in the grip of a strong hold.

Sometimes you might think big gestures are the only way forward. However, when you feel overwhelmed, small actions are really your ticket to change.

Small steps only take a minimum of energy and are easier to maintain. When you are already overwhelmed could you imagine having to do something really big?
All those small changes that you create will spread out and build your path forward.

Years ago, I learned to use my breath in order to reduce stress. Back then, I had days where I would wake up and didn’t know where to begin. Breathing only took a few minutes at a time and I practiced daily. Those few minutes a day seemed small and insignificant, but after a few weeks I saw improvements in how I handled stress. Now, using my breath is normal for me and it turned out it was only the beginning of making many small changes that helped me reducing my stress and move forward.

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You, too, can start taking a small step today.
Think of one thing what you would like to change or improve in your life.
Now write down the smallest action that you could take on a daily basis.
Start today and do it. Give yourself a couple of weeks and see what is happening.