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Unwanted feelings of attachment could lead to feeling rejected if a hook-up doesn’t lead to anything more, one reason why you might mistake your hook-up as a negative experience.Katie*, a senior at Vassar College who hooks up frequently, says that college girls should keep this biological reaction in mind and not let it color their perceptions.That may sound boring – who wants to do homework before getting down and dirty?– but there are important factors that can make or break a hook-up before even, well, hooking up. Zhana Vrangalova, sex researcher and creator of The Casual Sex Project, knowing yourself is key.Speaking up for your pleasure has its place in hook-ups, not just long-term relationships. Ask for what feels good and speak up about what doesn’t—and don’t forget that you’re never too far into a hook-up to change your mind if you decide it’s not working for you.We get it—a lot of the time, the point of a hook-up is to have a random, one-time fling, but not all hook-up candidates are created equal.“I had to learn to give myself a few days after hooking up to cool it,” she says.“After a good experience, I’d have to remind myself what it was I really wanted from the hook-up, and that wasn’t for the guy to call me the next day.” Dr.

The biggest key to ensuring a hook-up that will leave you feeling good is to self-assess.During sexual intercourse, the female brain releases a hormone called oxytocin.Sometimes known as the attachment hormone, oxytocin can induce feelings of love and closeness, so even if you had no romantic interest in your hook-up, your body might trick you into thinking that you do.How can a girl expect to feel happy after a hook-up if it wasn’t any good during, either?And unfortunately, dissatisfaction from hook-ups is all too common for women.

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A larger conversation about the racist, fat-phobic, and misogynist language of gay dating apps has also begun, which has allowed me to see that my dating prospects may also be a result of problematic societal messaging.