BLW - when do they eat?

I really wanted to do BLW with my first DD but it didn't work out. I tried for 2 weeks but she did not put one item of food anywhere near her mouth and started to refuse to even touch the food. My back was against the wall as I was returning to work and she was a breast fed bottle refuser so I switched to purée weaning (mashed food really)which she loved. It all worked out ok in the end and at 2.5 she eats a v good range of food.

I am just starting to wean my 2nd DD. I'm keen to try BLW again. Today for the first time I gave her a bit of ciabatta we were having and she scrunched it into pieces but didn't put it near her mouth. Very early days I appreciate and I will carry on like this for now. However the reason for this post is that both girls seem unusual in that they don't seem to have much instinct to explore objects with their mouths as babies. DD2 will chew on a muslin if she gets the opportunity but otherwise doesn't put toys in her mouth at all. Is BLW possible in this situation? Do I just need to be very patient?

I'm not worried from a calorie view point as she is thriving on milk. However surely it is important she is getting tiny tastes even if not swallowing much? Do some babies just take a long time to get going?

My DC 3 (now 9m) has only just got going. I wanted to BLW from the start but she gagged so much she was sick every time, so I spoon fed her. She now has both, 2 spoon fed meals and bits and bobs herself. She does put everything in her mouth though, always has!

We started when DS was 6 months but he hardly ate anything for the first month. Then he started trying more foods but not in any great quantity. Around 9 months, it was like a switch flicked in him and he started eating much more and cutting down quite a bit on milk.

They go through stages. Some things like mango dd put straight in her mouth but most others she would touch it, wave it about, squish it, smear it around, over different time periods and then would try it. Think of it as messy play, not dinner and make sure they have a full tummy so they don't get distressed, and don't make they anything special so you don't want to cry when they won't taste it (I speak after spending £20 on organic vegetables in Waitrose to make ratatouille and my child screamed in horror and I had to throw it straight in the bin)

For example a puree main course and slices of soft fruit pudding. Or 'something on toast' followed by a spoon fed yoghurt. Or what you are having for dinner first, followed by puree if needed, followed by the pudding you are having.

My DD was a bit of a poster-girl for BLE by the time she was 9-12 months or so. She would eat exactly the same as the rest of the family, as we were having it. I used to feel very smug going around the supermarket, because from about 8-9m I'd always give her a whole peeled apple to chew on as we shopped.

But, she actually wasn't BLW. Well not fully in the true sence. I still bought those smooth 4-6m jars and she has 2 a day from 6-9 months. But the thing was, I didn't only offer mushy stuff. She had mushy stuff for the nutrients and tastes, milk for calories, then loads of "proper food" to do as she liked with, as we sat around the table for each meal.

By the time she was 9 months, she only ever ate what we had, how we had it. It was a gradual change though.

DS didn't really eat more than a few mouthfuls till he was 8.5 months and got some teeth, he'd put the food in his mouth, was obviously enjoying himself but most of it came back out again. It's like he didn't get the hang of chewing till he got teeth. He'd eat soft stuff like formage frais or soup off a loaded spoon no problems and would happily lick things like hummus off of toast fingers.

I was pretty chilled about it though as I was bf on demand, he was gaining weight, meeting milestones, and the HV where I am are really pro blw and say don't worry if he doesn't eat much at the beginning.

Now at 11 months he's a fab eater who really seems to enjoy food and is happily trying to master cutlery.

I think you're right Fate - that sounds like the approach we ended up taking with my DD1 and she is a good eater, not at all fussy. We are in a lovely easy state of breastfeeding and pretty good sleeping currently so it feels like weaning is rocking the boat but she'll get there in the end.