Sunday, May 9, 2010

Yesterday, at my dance studio, I saw the most unbelievable thing. Absolutely couldn't comprehend my luck.I was in the upstairs studio, taking a break for a second. I was looking out the open window at the leaves on the trees as they blew in the wind, the cars passing the Blue Plate Cafe.... etc. When I saw a little old Chinese man wearing a white apron holding something and walking out to the parking lot. I didn't really see what he was holding, but I assumed he was from the Chineserestaurant next to us. I hadn't acknowledged him conciously at all pretty much until he reached the dumpster. There I saw him fiddling around with something, trying to fit something else in---something cardboard. For some reason that I don't even want to think about, I was able to zero in on him from 60+ feet away, and what he was holding.It was a cardboard cutout of someone.And I was 90% sure I knew exactly who it was.That's the part that slightly disgusts me.Anyway, I called my sister."Caroline-- I'm pretty sure I just some short, old Chinese man holding a Taylor Lautner life-size cardboard cutout. He just put it in the dumpster.""WHAT? You better get that or I'll kill you.""Carrie, I thought you got over the whole Twilight fetish four years ago or something when people actually started to know what it was.""I did. But can you not imagine the possibilities we would have with that thing?!""Fair point.""Go get it."I didn't want to look like a complete idiot by myself (dumpster diving around fried eggs and rice to get Taylor Lautner's torso) so when Caroline came to pick me up I had her help me out. We whistled extremely subtley and ran nonchalantly to the dumpster. Graciously, the cut-out was at the top.So... now we have this thing in our house. It is actually REALLY FREAKY. You keep thinking it's really someone (he looks like a stalker!) Surprisingly, my mom has been approving of it--yeah she still screams when she sees at first, like we all do (FREAKY.) but today she actually suggested that we put it on the front lawn to welcome my sister, uncle, and step-dad home from church. It's been non-stop pranking for the past 24 hours. This morning Caroline went in to take a shower, but when she drew back the curtains, there HE was, glaring at us with his 'scorching, fierce eyes.'I'm pretty sure I'm going to now:(A) Ask someone to the dance with it.(B) Put it in a friend's house with help from their family.or (C) Continue to frighten my family with it.So friends. Beware.Family, it gets even scarier with time.If you see a shadow looming over your bed.... Hey, that's actually a really good idea! Yes.... sleep with one eye open.I'll get you a picture of it.You know, the thing I'm STILL wondering is why did the wrinkled old man have it in the first place?!