Russell: Best gift for father not a material one

Published 7:58 pm, Friday, March 26, 2010

Editor's note: This Don Russell column originally ran on June 20, 2004.

A necktie or sweater were the traditional Father's Day gifts for many years. But based on the ads I see these days, it appears that wristwatches that perform many more functions than telling time are the gifts of the day: wristwatches that ring to signal the time, display your heart rate and count calories. Some are set and kept on time through an electronic chip that receives signals from an atomic clock.

They are all very useful, I'm sure, and would be a welcome gift for some. However, the timepieces are much more expensive than the traditional sweater or necktie.

When life was much more simple, we often handcrafted a gift for dad. Remember those coat hangers we all seemed to create in woodworking shop in junior high school? Or perhaps a small letter-holder for dad's desk coupled with a highly polished wooden letter opener? Some must have memories of starting those projects early in "shop" in order to carry them home on the last day of school and keep them well-hidden until Father's Day.

Perhaps some of those traditions still hold. However, the fast pace we keep today probably precludes the shaping and finishing of such gifts for practical use. So now we fathers and grandfathers usually claim that just a thought and a phone call on Father's Day are sufficient to make our day.

At my age, I set aside some time on this day to think of my father. He was a quiet man, proud of his heritage, and often spoke of arriving on America's shores when he was 14. He was almost sent back to his native Italy when a cousin who was his sponsor in this country failed to recognize him. At the last minute, the cousin finally did.

Then it was on to find the legendary "streets that were paved with gold." A rude awakening came when he was taken to his first job in New York City. He was handed a pick and shovel, and he went to work digging tunnels for the proposed subway system. Soon after that, he decided that getting an education was important if he was to come up for air from the underground tunnels. So he went to night school, learned the language and was able to pursue his boyhood dream of mechanical engineering at night while working by day at a blacksmith shop.

Through all of the ups and downs, especially during the Great Depression, our mother was also vital in keeping things together. But that is one for Mother's Day.

The point is that, although some fathers are no longer with us, we can honor them silently by reminiscing about and appreciating the thoughts of hardships and the moments of joy they experienced. We should note not only the benefits they have provided us, but the fact that this allowed us to continue the tradition by similarly helping our own sons and daughters.

On Father's Day, when I handed my dad a handcrafted gift, he would usually say, "You didn't have to do anything." And that attitude continued through life, even when we became able to do much more for him. We would buy him a necktie or more expensive gift, and he would say, "You shouldn't have spent the money."For me on this day, the timeworn phrase, "It's the thought that counts," counts. Embracing memories and thoughts of one's father is like wrapping one's arms around life.

So, sons and daughters: When you're standing around the barbecue preparing a Father's Day feast, and your dad is there with you, tell him then how you feel about him. Express appreciation for what he provided you -- a home, an education and the encouragement to succeed and prosper, and therefore the ability to pass those on to your children.

Of course, you don't have to wait until Father's Day to express those thoughts. It would be a good idea to relate them any time.

I am positive that my dad would have preferred those expressions to a high-tech wristwatch.