Kids help marriage
Do you find that you barely have enough time parenting your
children let alone enriching your marriage? The two roles don't
have to compete with each other, but can actually strengthen the
role of the other. You can be both a good partner and a good
parent.
Children enrich your marriage:

* Marriage is the basis for family. Parents must lead their
lives and marriages with their children, not for them. Never
feel guilty working on your marriage. When you are working on
your marriage, you're also working on your family.

* Children remind you that you're one. There is no denying how
a child's traits come from each parent. Compliment your
spouse, "Robbie laughs just like you do - it's contagious,"
or "Annie has your pleasant, easygoing personality." Affirm
your observations, it will encourage your mate.

* Children require team play. Childcare is not the sole job of
one parent. Brainstorm ways to lessen stressful situations
such as "morning madness" or the late afternoon "suicide
hour." (E.g. one parent could assume the responsibility for
breakfast and making lunches, while the other made sure the
children get up and get dressed.)

* Children promote appreciation. Because the responsibilities
of parenting leave less free time for the two of you, you'll
learn to appreciate each other in new ways - and in shorter
intervals.

* Children promote creativity. To be alone together is a real
treat and one worth working for. You'll think of all kinds of
ways to spend time alone. A "stroller date" will give you
time with your spouse - and give your baby a lot of fresh
air. Do errands together, plan a getaway the same weekend as
the band trip, utilize the Saturday mornings for the two of
you when your teens like to sleep in till noon.

* Children improve your communication and keep you honest.
You're the model. Think before you speak. Parents need to
have the same "line" when it comes to family rules and
policy. Make sure your talk matches your walk, and vice
versa.

* Children prevent boredom. With children around, there is
always something going on.

* Children give great rewards. Witnessing your child's first
day at kindergarten or college graduation will give your life
excitement and memories.

Marriage enriches your children:

* Parents provide security. A healthy, enriched marriage
provides children with a sense of security and love.

* Marriage models sound relationships. Your children learn how
to build healthy relationships by watching you and your
spouse relate to each other.

* Parents give guidance and leadership. When parents are
united, they send positive messages. Your children learn to
trust you. They know you aren't perfect, but know that you
are real and committed.

* Parents teach life skills. The home is the first school for
learning life skills. The marriage model is the ideal place
to teach teamwork, stewardship, responsibility, boundaries,
etc.

* Marriage passes on traditions and values. What you do in your
family will likely be passed down to generations to come. The
best way to help your children build successful marriages is
to have one - lived out before them day by day.
David and Claudia Arp are the founders and directors
of Marriage Alive International and conduct seminars
across the United States and Europe. They have
written numerous books, including The Second Half of
Marriage and The Love Book. They have three adult
sons and live in Knoxville, Tenn. This book is part
of the 10 Great Dates to Revitalize Your Marriage
video curriculum.
For more information about Marriage Alive Couple
Enrichment Resources contact: Marriage Alive
International, Inc., P.O. Box 31408, Knoxville, TN
37930. Phone: 423-691-8505 Fax: 423-691-1575.
Taken from 10 Great Dates to Revitalize Your Marriage
by David & Claudia Arp. Copyright (c) 1997 by David &
Claudia Arp. Used by permission of Zondervan
Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530,
1-800-727-3480.