Admittance

My girlfriend is a nurse. I never ask her how her day is. I used to. Until one day she told me she had to stuff someone’s uterus back inside them. Not only do I not want to hear about that, there’s no way I can top it in the bad work day sweepstakes.

> Lemme guess: drunken fireworks malfunction?
I don’t think so. That would only explain one of them. I mean, come on! He only has two hands!

> I’d want details every day with stories like those!
But they get SO mundane. “Then I had to reach into her gaping abscess because that’s where she THINKS she lost the remote. After rummaging around for a while it turns out she’d dropped it in her bed pan!”

It’s not that either of us are squeamish (we have friends who see/do the most disgusting things for work and sit there howling over stories – oftentimes to the utter disgust of all others within ear shot) but I’ve found the end result (no ass/no dick/no bathroom break) is more than enough.

I recently read a book named EMERGENCY! about the best ER stories in the country. It was so great. One woman had a vine coming out of her vagina — her stuff was falling out, like that story you described — so she put a potato up there. In the dark it began to take root, I guess, thus the vine:)

I do get the thing about the sweepstakes, however. You want to win occasionally.