However, this post is not about him. Instead it is about me. It has happened to me, many a times, that I respond and react in a manner in certain situations just as my parents did. Those responses were such, at that time, which I disliked and even despised.

My mother would always tell me “jab padhni nahin hoti to kitaabein khareedti kyun ho.” (why do you buy books when you don’t read them). This statement irked me because there was the reference that I was wasting money in buying books.

My father’s reaction was slightly positive but still had this reference to spending money. He would say “ab books khareedi hain to padh bhi lo” (Now that you have bought books, so read them).

And how about my reaction? I saw the Level 3 Songbirds book lying on the table. I had been asking Dhruv for 2 weeks to read it but he would keep postponing reading it to the bed time and, later, at bed time he used to get very sleepy that he was falling asleep instantly. Then there was the busy Diwali week which meant fun without the reading part. On Saturday, I picked up the book and made my own statement in a heated state – ” I spend Rs 1000 every month on getting each of these books so that you can practice reading and you don’t care”.

The moment I blurted out I realised what had I done. I had reacted in the same manner which I used to despise. Dhruv is only 4.5 years old and I want him to develop reading skills for the love of it and not for the money spent (less or more) on buying books. Henceforth, I am going to keep a watch on my responses.

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15 comments

I think most parents have that moment of hearing their mother or father’s voice coming out of their mouths. It’s disconcerting, but I think that since you’re so aware, you’ll have no problem watching out for those responses, and communicating with your son if you slip up. Happy reading to both of you!

Rightly said Anamika.. Sometimes we blurt out few things before kids and later realize. Money angle shouldn’t come while investing on children development. This happens many times with me too with my son who is around 5 years old.

It’s good that you recognized your parents’ voices and maybe that it’s okay for a 4.5 year old not to read every book that comes along. Letting children read for fun at this age is so much more important than forcing them to read books that they end up resenting. Good luck!

Ah! Just the other day I read a quote that said, “I open my mouth and hear my mother’s voice” or words to that effect. I guess we all do this unconsciously. The trick is to catch ourselves in the act as you did. Awareness is 90% of change in my book!

It happens to the best of us, Anamika. Good thing is that you realized it. All of us makes mistakes, what makes us better is when we accept our mistake and stop doing it again. And yeah, I have a lot of books I need to read. 🙂

So true, I buy books for future reference. My husband does not understand my love of books. I tell him he should have known! I was working as a school librarian when he married me. I am retired now. Thanks for stopping by. Please be sure to link up with us at Literacy Musing Mondays. This post is perfect for our linkup. 😉 PS thanks for stopping by and leaving your encouraging comment.

Its always better to introspect and many a times at various junctures life does give us that feeling of deja vu. Best part remains the realization, which happened to you. Many times when we are grown ups, we realize that our parents weren’t exactly wrong in the reactions they gave or things they said…on the contrary, we were (perhaps) way too naive to understand their point of view. Great write up Anamika 🙂

You have given a new perspective to the whole thing. You are right my parents were not wrong in saying what they used to say. Both of them were not readers and they toiled hard to earn and save money. And the case with me is I give more value to books and reading, money still not being in plenty.

Your reaction is normal, and not really wrong. It is a matter of perspective. As we become parents ourselves, we do tend to empathize with our parents more, and see their POV. Having said that, while our intention might be correct, we do need to mind how we get the message across. That is what I struggle with myself.