The Importance of Romance

Romance has got to be one of the most fun and least executed activities in many relationships. With all the distractions we have in our busy lives, it seems many couples never find the time to be romantic, and that can lead to love’s demise.

Romance has got to be one of the most fun and least executed activities in many relationships. With all the distractions we have in our busy lives, it seems many couples never find the time to be romantic, and that can lead to love’s demise.

Romance is about getting closer, and there is a big difference between sex and romance. In most relationships, if you want the former to be great, you have to fully engage in the latter.

Romance needs to be a constant in your universe. Being romantic is not much work, and savoring romantic moments will actually strengthen your bond.

Most people don't try romantic activities because they simply don't know how. Here’s a hint: there are no secrets to romance. Most of the time, everything we need to know is right under our noses. Anyone who has ever watched a romantic movie knows enough to get the ball rolling.

Through a little trial and error and lots of conversation, the two of you can create the kind of romance that would put Romeo and Juliet to shame. In many cases, all it takes is some encouragement to take a risk and a little appreciation for your partner's efforts (even if they fall a little short). Romance, like life, is seldom perfect, but it can be fulfilling no matter how it differs from what you've seen on the silver screen.

The real truth is that romance needs to be a normal part of your lives, and though it's not possible to live life like a Victorian novel, you can have a pretty hot twenty-first century relationship. One of the tricks is to take advantage of any opportunity to learn more about romance and, most importantly, what it is that your partner perceives as romantic.

There are some wonderful books on romance, like Laura Corn's "101 Nights of Grrreat Romance," which has separate sections for his eyes only and for her eyes only. There's also "1001 Ways to Be Romantic" by Greg Godek, which has lots of little things you can do to make your partner feel wonderful and be inspired to return the favor.

Getting tips from a book is good, but having a loving conversation with your mate about what it is that turns him or her on is really the best way to make your relationship romantically enduring.

What works for you may or may not work for the one you love. Remember, it's a gift of trust when your partner takes the risk of revealing his or her preferences to you. You may be surprised at how easy it is to create more sizzle and less static with a simple gesture or action.

Real-life romance is something I encourage you to engage in every day. Just give it a try. Many times it's all about the little things and just going with your heart. Trust that your desire to create romance is enough to get things started, and give it your own spin. The results will have you making your friends very jealous.

One thing I noticed in my brief foray into romance, is that often what gets defined as romance is simply "spending money". The book you noted, 1001 Ways to be Romantic, is one such. I recall reading the book and noting that I didn't personally know anyone that could afford be romantic by his definition. Alongside that, ways of being romantic that don't involve a load of cash aren't always recognized as romance by the intended recipient.

Romance doesn't always have to entail spending money. My boyfriend routinely does things which are romantic and warm my heart and just make me feel so much tenderness for him. Some recent examples are me waking up to find him doing the dishes unprompted, kissing the top of my hand, and the biggest romantic gesture - and admittedly, he spent SOME money on it - buying a USB flash drive that he then proceeded to fill with a 115 song playlist customized for me, as well as folders full of funny and interesting charts, videos, GIFs, movies, video shorts he made of himself on his iPhone (in one he declared his love for me in a tongue-and-cheek way, it was very cute), a funny folder that opened into a million subfolders that finally culminated in a collection of 10 bonus tracks, all of them clocking in at over 10 minutes (including a six-hour Flaming Lips song!)... everything about this flash drive was customized to amuse me and make me think. Everything on it (with the exception of the new homemade videos he'd taken on his iPhone) were pre-existing on his computer or he had come across it before and simply Google-searched it to find the image or GIF again to upload onto the flash drive. The cost was really just that of the flash drive itself, and many people have those lying around the house anyway. What was so romantic about it was the utter obvious investment of time and thought he put into it, into customizing it for me. He has bought me flowers before but this was truly the most romantic thing anyway had ever done and I was so very touched. "High Fidelity" conveyed it so very well; true romance need not be an expensive gesture. It can be as simple and as beautiful as a mixtape:)

Romance isn't about the amount of money that you spend on someone, it's about the thoughts and making them feel like the most special person in the world to you. So just showing up with a floral bouquet or a small gift to let them know that you were thinking about them is a part of being truly romantic. Even just a random text message, email, or card can do wonders.

That's exactly what I'm talking about...romance is about focusing on the other person and showing that you care about them, and some commercialized prat like you comes along with a blatant advertisement and tries to make it be about how much $money$ a person spends. I'd rather a boyfriend brought me a freaking dandelion than pay you for a "bouquet".