Population growth down to migrants brought in to carry torch

Britain's population boom is solely down to the train loads of migrants brought from Eastern Europe to haul a fire round the highways and byeways of the UK.
"To be fair, who in their right mind wants to get up at stupid o'clock in the morning, don a tracksuit then go and stand in the teeming rain on a bye pass, just to carry the torch a hundred yards" a LOCOG official explained.