Yankee Man Candles Should Be Called Mandles And Smell Like Bacon

I must admit, in my adventures to the mall it’s rare for me to actually think about stopping in a Yankee Candle shop. The most attention I usually send its way is reserved for when I shout “Ohh dear God. Why does it smell like someone lit a rainbow on fire?” as I walk past it, devouring some sort of cinnamon flavored pretzel item.

Man Candles

So as I sit here reading that Yankee Candle has released upon the world a quartette of “manly” fragrances, I still find it difficult to just run to their stores and empty my bank account into the registers for these Yankee Man Candles.

Per their website, these concoctions of jarred manliness come in smells such as Riding Mower, First Down, 2×4, and my personal favorite name, Man Town (So many jokes……..Brain….Can’t…..Process). I might give 2×4 a try because having my wife come home to a house that smells like a Home Depot may trick her into thinking I spent the day doing home repairs instead of my usual regimen of sleeping in a pile of Doritos and playing Settlers of Catan with my imaginary friends, but I’m still on the fence about it.

I think it’s a cool idea that Yankee Candle is trying to reach out to a male demographic in a world of products that are usually catered to women but it seems like they didn’t go far enough with these first four. If they’re going to try to sell us some man candles let’s do it right, I say. Give us some buffalo wing candles or the high holy man smell of a sweet, sweet Bacon candle. That’s the type of man product I could put my money behind.

Larry Gallagher is a freelance writer from Jersey City, NJ. He can often be found across the wide expanse of the interwebs writing under his alter ego “The Writing Rambler”. He is a simple man who believes we’d all be better off if we just read more comics and shared a burrito once in a while.