Controversial piece number 318 – Saaaara Aalto

This song ... well ... it really does need some words to describe it, I guess.

The first set of words I'm going to use are "It ain't winning". She may be the almighty Saaaara who can do no wrong in some people's eyes, but I think she's over-egged the pudding with the stage show.

She starts tied to a wheel and spun around (without knife throwers). She got stuck on it on the second run-through. There are dancers who look like the 'screws' from "Prisoner Cell Block H" ... or the local SS.

They then proceed to Vogue in true 80s style in front of a pyramid contraption. Chuck in a costume change and pyrotechnics ... and then - as if there wasn't enough going on already - a the end, Saara falls back to be caught by Joan Ferguson and another one of the 'screws'.

AND finally, as if it wasn't silly enough, the stage manager announced a waterfall and extra pyrotechnics for the third rehearsal.

The waterfall turned out to be a pyro curtain - as if things could get any more cliched. I'm left thinking 'seen it all before'.

As a song, 'Monsters' isn't all that and there's a strong whiff of desperation about things for me ... but many others will see 'the second coming'.