July 15, 2009

handle with care

it makes me very happy, because it’s a compliment (right?), but it also makes me wonder – how would people expect me to handle it??

yes, we have about a month left until our wedding and we have a list a mile long on any given day of things still to be done.

yes, our house is full of stacks of wedding junk.

yes, we’ve had to spend more time than hoped separating the house into what can be packed and moved by the movers and what i need to keep here to live.

yes, the house is up for sale which means i have to leave each time i’m notified that someone will be by to look at it in 30minutes.

yes, we’re still looking for a house to move into and just hoping we can sell ours and get into our new one right about the same time.

yes, i get to see M every weekend and that’s it… we’ll only see each other about 10 more days before the wedding.

and yes, i’m still starving most of the time and cranky half of each day because i’m off the chocolate (it’s too fatty).

but honestly how would other people expect to handle it? i keep picturing Jerry McGuire where he’s saying “i bet you all expect me to flip out!” while flailing his arms in the air. what do other people think they would do? just shut down and not deal with everything because it’s too much? would they just stress out and have to take some meds?

do i wish i could get through one day without feeling like i wasn’t productive because my To Do list is still 4 pages long? do i wish we could have spread out the moving to a new city, selling the house, buying a house, and the wedding & honeymoon stuff over more than just 2 months?
yes and yes.

but i can’t. so i deal. as i believe most people would. sure, i have days where i snap at M because i’m so sick of the living situation and never seeing him, but those pass and some day soon we’ll be living together again… for the rest of our lives. i like to look at this break during the week as a second chance at living alone, getting to do all those things i had to quit cold turkey (like leaving dishes in the sink for days at a time and doing my nails in bed).

but really each time i hear someone say this i have to bit my tongue because i really want to ask “why? how would you handle it??”