A while ago, I wrote about two human emotions: love and fear. An opinion was shared with me belonging to someone whose wisdom I’m often confounded by. I was just getting to know this person when we engaged in a conversation in which he shared with me his idea that there are two emotions that all humans experience and, ultimately, act out of. He told me that all human behavior is dictated by either love or by fear. At the time, I think in part because this was a person whose mind I happened to greatly admire, I took his word for truth. That’s not to say that I didn’t consider the alternatives and question myself as to whether or not this made sense, or really whether or not I even greed that his theory [which was not stated as though it were a theory but rather, fact] was so. I did those things.

It’s just that… that these last few months I’ve experienced emotion fully and on a broad spectrum [perhaps broader than I have ever before experienced in my life] and have concluded that humans are much too complicated and their minds too intricate and with depth too vast to conjecture they act on one of those two emotions alone. I say ‘conjecture’ because the decision to categorize this way is just that… it’s based on a conclusion deduced by surmise or guesswork [Merriam-webster.com, you’re a peach.]

That being said, I’ve been doing some thinking of my own. A little surmising and guesswork, you could say. A lot of it is due to those far-and-wide-ranging emotions I’ve felt recently. Because I feel something then I analyze the shit out of how I feel until I recognize what and why it is and hopefully, I realize how I can alter it if I don’t see it benefiting me at that time or in the future. Hopefully I can change it into a more positive version of itself… maybe one that serves me better. {Or I meditate and try to not attach myself to any thought… so that those un-thought thoughts don’t manifest themselves in any emotion that might be trying to surface within and mix themselves with it, swirling, bringing it up from its depths within my being, poisoning it. And then, I do some thinking after the period of meditation. Because it’s nice to sit without emotion sometimes. And to not think about how I feel or why it is.}

That said, this is what I’ve concluded: if humans feel too much for all of those feelings and behaviors based on feelings to be categorized into either one of only two emotions [which I believe, wholeheartedly, is the case], then they also can experience emotions or attraction or desires for another human being, any human being, at any given time, place, or dimension. And maybe you feel these things for a person and that person happens to not be of the same gender or sex of whom you felt those things for yesterday. Because we’re humans, and we’re complex. The most complex species on Earth or something. Maybe only second to some sort weird mushroom or miniscule sea-dwelling creature. (I could have just made that up, I’m really not sure. My point is, we’re complex.) So who’s to say that one category can fit all of you in it? That just doesn’t seem fair, asking someone to choose just one category and stay in it. Like, stay in it forever. And you just get to choose one… or the other.

Is that what society wants? Being in one little box (or circle, if that’s how you tend to shape your categories) for your whole life seems like it would get sorta claustrophobic. Why is society trying to make me claustrophobic?

Silly, if you ask me.

Thought manifesting in emotion is what makes me human… and I kinda like that. What’s also sort of amazing is encountering all these people with intense, complex emotions and thoughts. And stuff. Because each of them has challenged what I might feel and believe (and manifest) at some point previously with other viewpoints and ideas and theories and I’ve taken those and stirred them around and mixed them in with what I already had… and I’ve ended up with something more beautiful than before, and much tastier.

So… this is what I have to say about it now. But ask me again in a couple months and I’m sure I’ll have more to say on the matter. Maybe sooner… depends what I feel. 😉