Things Ewings Say (J.R. Edition)

If the first season of TNT’s “Dallas” taught us anything, it’s this: J.R. Ewing (Larry Hagman) still has a way with words. With “Revelations,” the eagerly awaited season finale two days away, here’s a look back at some of his best lines.

Comments

I can’t quite remember the new lines, but my favorite will always be the Cattlemen’s club line: “Looks like they’ll let just about anybody in here these days.” He said that to Cliff Barnes about 3 times throughout the first 5 seasons.

Oh, and in the new Dallas I love when he tells Ann, “You’re gonna have to work on that imagination.” Or something to that effect. It was classic J.R!

Here are a few from a JR-themed coffee mug I bought at the Texas State History Museum in Austin a year or two ago:

“Sue Ellen, you’re a drunk, a tramp, and an unfit mother.”
“The world is littered with the bodies of people that tried to stick it to ol’ J.R.”
“A conscience is like a boat or a car. If you feel you need one, rent it.”
“Lots of men have tried to run roughshod over me. You can visit most of them in the cemetery.”
“Saying terrible things is part of my charm.”

BTW…the line he says as he walks off after Ann runs him out of Bobby’s sickroom was an adlib of Larry’s. ‘Damn woman is out of her mind’…….

I am always reminded of an interview I read years ago by one of the Dallas producers. They used to caution writers about writing jokes for JR. They were adamant that there were to be no jokes. The said the fun of the remarks were that they were written as a straight forward serious comments…but it was Hagman’s delivery that got people. The bible for the season would be completed, but various writers would write out the dialogue. Since JR was known for the outrageous remarks…writers were tempted to be funny. Producers told them…JR is not funny and he is not a nice person. Larry’s genius with the character is that he could say those things and the viewers would be shocked but still would get a kick out of what he said.

I agree to that too. You never want forced jokes. He had some whoppers that made me bust out laughing. I love when J.R faked being near death after Sue Ellen shot him. and after he tells the doctor to set the room up with life support and machines, the doc says, “That would be wrong and cruel!”
J.R says, “Wrong and cruel. My two favorite words.” His lines just stun you into laughter.