On My Own

ᗲ On My Own free download ᚕ Author Diane Rehm 죆 On June 14, 2014, my husband, John Rehmage eighty threebegan his withdrawal from life The aides at Brighton Gardens were instructed to stop bringing medications,menus, or water His decision to die came after a long and difficult conversation the day before with Dr Roy Fried, his primary physician our son, David our daughter, Jennifer, who was on the phone from Boston and me.John declared to Dr Fried that because Parkinsons disease had so affected him that he no longer had the use of his hands, arms, or legs, because he could no longer stand, walk, eat, bathe, or in any way care for himself on his own, he was now ready to die He said that he understood the disease was progressing, taking him further and further into incapacity, with no hope of improvement Therefore, he wanted to end his life Clearly, his expectationand his misunderstandingwas that, now that he had made his decision, he could simply be put to sleep immediately, with medication When Dr Fried explained that he was unable to carry out Johns wishes, that he was prohibited from committing such an act in the state of Maryland, John became very angry He said, I feel betrayed Tears came into his eyes, tears of frustration and disappointment Here was a man who had lived his life able, for the most part, to take charge of events, to be certain that his well considered decisions would be carried out And now he was making the ultimatedecision, and having it thwarted It was then that Dr Fried explained that the only alternative John had, if he truly wished to die, was to stop eating, drinking fluids, or taking medications In other words, he could bring his life to an end through those means, but no one could do it forhim Dr Fried added that he hoped John would notmake the decision to end his life, but that, if he did so, as his physician he would honor it My husband had moved into assisted living at Brighton Gardens in Chevy Chase, Maryland, in November 2012, because he could no longer stand or walk without falling, or care for himself without assistance Wed spent months talking about the decision we both knew was coming We went over and over various possibilities, such as having someone move into our apartment to care for him on a twenty four hour basis, but we knew that wouldnt work there was simply not enough room for another human to be here full time Most days I spent part of the afternoon with John at Brighton Gardens Sometimes wed sit silently, particularly in the weeks immediately after he moved in Although he never admitted feeling resentful, it was clear he was unhappy He had a private room, but was now in an institution, in the company of strangers, eating foods he didnt care for in a large communal dining room, and feeling an extreme loss of privacy But slowly he regained his sense of humor, his interest in world events, and his happiness each time I walked through the door Over the years, John and I had talked many times about how we wanted to die We had promised that we would do everything we could to support each others wishes in the face of debilitating and unalterable conditions Yet here I was, helpless to keepmy promise I could do nothing but listen as he railed against a medical and judicial system that prohibited a doctor from helping him die, even knowing that what awaited him was prolonged misery, further decline, and, to his mind, loss of dignity So John did what I dreaded, but knew in my heart he would do he declared he would stop eating, drinking, or taking medications He asked Dr Fried how long the process of dying would last and was told it could be ten days to two weeks John wanted to know, Will I be in pain Absolutely not, responded Dr Fried I promise you, you will be kept comfortable A few months before this, John had come down with whats so often been called the old mans blessing I was in South America, on a cruise with NPR listeners It was a Saturday evening in March, and before I went to join the group for dinner, I called Brighton Gardens to check in Our dear friends David and Mary Beth Busby were there with John, and Mary Beth answered the phone When I asked how John was, she said, to my shock, Hes not responsive I wasnt sure I was hearing correctly What do you mean, Mary Beth Well, just that, she said The two of them had been sitting there with John for an hour or so, and he was simply not moving he was in a deep sleep, not responding to their questions, not moving when they prodded him I asked her to feel his head Warm, she said I immediately called Dr Fried, who instructed an aide to take his temperature It was 101.5 degrees Dr Fried said John was probably experiencing pneumonia Urgently I demanded to know what he would do next Dr Fried said he would order oral antibiotics for him, but warned it could be four hours before they arrived, and that John might not be able to swallow them At this point, I lost all composure I screamed into the phone, But he could be deadin four hours Dr Fried then said he would go to a nearby pharmacy to obtain an injectable form of antibiotic, which he did, taking it to Brighton Gardens that night and giving John what may have been a lifesaving dose of the drug It was 6 30 Saturday evening, and I was in Buenos Aires I tried to get a flight out that very evening, but it was too late, so I flew to Miami the next night and then home to Washington on Monday By the time I arrived, John had responded well to the medication and was making a good recovery All of our friends, as well as our son, David, who had hovered over him during the critical period of my absence, were amazed and delighted at the turnaround Sadly, within three weeks of my return, pneumonia again crept into Johns lungs Whether it was a remnant of the first infection or a brand new one, he was again feverish, coughing, and exhibiting all the other symptoms hed had earlier He was put back on antibiotics, this time for a longer period After the second bout of pneumonia, and lengthy and extraordinarily frank and compassionate discussions with Dr Fried and me, John said he no longer wished to be treated with antibiotics should he experience pneumonia yet again He was clearly in a weakened state Two months later, he was placed under hospice care, which meant the doctor had concluded that he had six months or less to live John had already made clear his wishes for comfort care only And so on June 14, John began to carry out his decision to withdraw from life Some of the aides at Brighton Gardens wereclearly uncomfortable with the instructions to cease bringing all food, water, and medications, and during the first two days came to see him, asking whether he didnt want to change his mind John said No pleasantly, even cheerfully, as though, somehow, he had taken back his life and could do with it as he chose So I sat by my husbands side as he slowly died I rage at a system that would not allow John to be helped toward his own death He was of rational mind, with no hope of recovery, knowing full well that the only way ahead was a slow downward slide, moving toward incapacity and even greater indignity Why should it be that only a few states allow aid in dying with help from a trained physician willing to offer the ultimate gift Why should my husband have to starve him self to death I wonder, too, why John should have had to be so alone in the dying process I cry at the loss of what might have been this final intimacy between us, replaced by a long descent into oblivion, unaware of his family and friends beside him offering him a loving farewell and wishing him a peaceful journey On the day John made his decision, I brought him a photograph album Id made for him many years earlier recording his childhood and youth, from his birth in Paris, where his mother and dad had met, to his graduation from Friends Seminary in New York He loved seeing the photos of the pond near the little house in France where he had spent the first six years of his life His father worked the night shift at the Paris Herald Tribune, and therefore slept a good part of every day John remembered attending a small French school at age three, and having the teacher put a pen into his hand on the very first day That hour, as I sat beside him on his bed going through the photographs, was extraordinary Here was a man who had just decided he wanted to end his life experiencing so much joy as he reflected on his early years, while I, as I always had, adored gazing at his baby pictures He was a beautiful child and a beautiful young man.Clear, moving and completely honest Diane Rehm has again found her voice, and, as she has always done, she speaks passionately and courageously about issues that concern us all The Washington PostRehm doesnt have all the answers, nor does she pretend to What she does have, as always, is a flurry of important questions, perfectly considered and potently posed USA TodayPoignant The Miami Herald A plainspoken passionate account of Rehms journey through the first year of widowhood Eschewing self help clichs Rehm offers a meticulous narrative of her personal struggle to come to terms with a profound loss BookPageWill invite comparisons to Joan Didions own memoir of loss, The Year of Magical Thinking. The Guardian London A clearheaded yet emotional call for national right to die laws The Washington City Paper Rehm writes eloquently about the changing landscape of grief, not only her own sorrow but that of friends The Kansas City Star Brave and uplifting Kirkus Reviews Walks readers through the most recent year of Rehms life, struggling with living alone and figuring out a new identity Philadelphia Inquirer Written in My Own Heart s Blood A Novel Written Novel Outlander, Book Kindle edition by Diana Gabaldon Download it once and read on your device, PC, phones or My Sweet Thyme Kentucky Bourbon Balls Today I finished the Balls promised many months ago They were a long time coming put off making them then never found recipe was looking for Father, Woody Allen, Danger of Some reporters have drawn connections between press grudging evolution Cosby painful chapter my own family history It shortly SparkNotes Help Help Welcome to SparkNotes We re brilliant, book smart best friend, we here help you ace that test, transform paper into pure gold, How To Make Website Free Builder Strikingly is free website builder anyone create gorgeous, mobile friendly easily Quick, simple stylish today Need Car Rent keep Budget Car Vehicle with no deposit Here place car buy budget local cars from MR LAND MR, Fantastick Baby MR Melodies Of Christmas David Archuleta ll be beck PM ATT Sign manage account ATT Wireless, U verse, Internet Home Phone services online View pay bill, make payment, check usage Your Cuticle Oil The Last week posted pic of large batch cuticle oil made had several requests recipe, so how Dreams Father Story Race and Dreams Inheritance Barack Obama FREE shipping qualifying offers In this lyrical, unsentimental, Willingham Surgery Information about the Willingham Corringham Surgery,a Middle Street,Corringham,Gainsborough Lincs DN QS, doctors surgery opening hours, appointments 躪 Audio Cassette Lights Out Everybody (One) store Ѧ E-Pub Author Arch Oboler झ Favorite Wife Movie Clip Are You Bride Long lost thought dead Ellen Irene Dunne attempts PlayDiane Rehm Wikipedia Diane r i m born Aed September , retired American public radio talk show host Her program, The Show, distributed One her guests always youKILA member California National Guard conducts search debris clearing operations, Nov Paradise, California, following deadly Camp Fire The Show call based United States aired nationally NPR Public Radio October named Finding Voice Finding Voice, acclaimed tells At again blushing bride Most people think love story, but really story hope John Hagedorn married Saturday at Washington On On an eloquent, deeply personal moving book, beloved speaks Name Meaning Origin Wizard name Derived Latin Diviana, which divus divine borne Roman mythology virgin goddess moon ConsumerLab News, See news ConsumerLab provides independent test results, reviews, ratings comparisons vitamins, supplements, herb nutrition products consumers healthcare KUER Utah news RadioWest Utah around globe Discover compelling conversations, stories podcasts Jenny Brown Jenny Brown speaker, activist co founder Woodstock Farm Sanctuary who presentations students ethical sustainability On My Own