Moving to America, the road to American Citizenship, Green Card, Dating, travel and marriage to an American amongst others; are what this blog is about. Living abroad - Georgia, Eastern Europe, near Russia, teaching English Second Language and other adventure filled experiences. Please, take a moment and indulge, if not live vicariously!

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Saturday, September 28, 2013

After the punch in the head, more than I had before, I know that was not the relationship I wanted to be in. If that wasn't a red RED flag, I don't know what is or could be. We never talked about it, he never apologised, I never confronted him, it just went right under the rug. And trust me! There's a lot under that carpet!

Sister would tell me how he would beat her up until she turned black and blue and then offer to take her out to a concert or something, HE enjoyed. Like the one concert he took her to, she took pictures of him which he in turn sent them to me before we met. I asked who he went to the concert with, he told me, by himself! He asked a random person who was sitting next to him to take the pictures. He liked the band so much (some band which was featuring Johnny Depp), he went to see them again with a friend. Sister told me he only went to see the show once with her. He never told me that! She told me he is so ashamed of her, even when they are together, he walks right ahead and tells her not to talk to her, he didn't want anybody to see him with a lady who was using a cane/crutch. That was just one of the stories they had slightly different versions of.

One day, around the end of January (OMG, I'm really behind, so much has happened since January, I should pull up my socks. Fa reel! )), it was time to pay month end bills. He took me along (Elvis). We drove across town to pay rent first. They had roadside parking at the place we went to pay. He left me in the car. Probably ashamed to be seen with me too, who knows? Who cares! It was a beautiful sunny day in LA, I could care less. While he was in, a car that was parked in front of us, Ford Focus, backed up into El's car. She reversed too far, good thing it was slow because she didn't cause noticeable damage. What amazed me was that we made eye contact and she just drove off. What! Who does that! It was a lady too! I took down her registration plate number just in case. By then I didn't know how much damage was caused to the car.

Of course, I couldn't call El because, as we all know by now, he doesn't have a cell phone! I had to wait until he came back. When he did, I told him about it, he told me to get out of the car, ugh, I wanna puke just telling you this story, so nauseating! "Ok, uhm, (with hands on his wast), take a picture of the front of the car! Stand here, now stand over there, stake a picture of the car with that on the background. Did you get that? Are you sure? (YES, FCK!). Now Stand over here, take a picture of that building, make sure you blah blah blah blah blah" It literally got to the point where I regretted having told him about that lady at all, so not worth it. When we were done, he was like, I don't even know why I made you take the pictures because you probably won't let me have them when I need them. Who says that to someone? Ugh.

From there, we headed to Beverly Hills 99 cents store. Yup! You read right! He told me they have the best stuff at that 99 cents store. We got what we needed, then I remembered I needed earphones which would double up as ear plugs for his snoring. He didn't care that I needed those because he knew it was to block him out. Be it when I wanted to watch something else on my laptop while he watched something else on the TV he bought "for me" in the bedroom or when he was snoring at night. I told him I would be right back, when I got back, I couldn't find him. What do you think I did? You guessed right! I called him on the cell! NOT! that's what a normal person would have done, if they were dealing with another normal person. I walked all round the store looking for him, I couldn't find him anywhere. I mean, El is tall, it shouldn't have been that hard to spot him! I even left the store and went to the car, he wasn't there either! I waited by the car just in case he decided to look for me there. After a while, I went back, well to return one of the two sets of ear phones because it was fault. You get what you pay for, right?

On my way out, I saw him! Right where I left him the first time. He was fuming! His eyes went a weird shade of blank, he stomped on the ground, I got scared to even go back to the car with him, or anywhere for that matter. I was thinking, come on Brook, there's got to be somewhere else you can go today! I had no other choice! When we left the store, he stood by the parking lot, gave me the most murderous look ever and breathed really deeply, he was ready to fck me up! I didn't say a word! We got in the car, I quickly sent my sister a message that the Sht was about to hit the fan. There wasn't anything he could do all the way from South Africa, but I just wanted to let someone know. He knows I don't have family here, he could do whatever he wanted to me and nobody would ever know. He locked the doors and told me we were not leaving until I told him where I went. I put my ear phones on and played music on my new phone! I knew nothing I could say would give him the satisfaction he wanted, that of beating the shit out of me. If he had tried, I'd have run the flip out of that car, I am not even ashamed to say that.

He was mad, the tension in the car was so thick, you could chop it with an axe. He went on and on about how he is doing the best he can to make everybody happy blah blah blah, yada, yada, yada. I recorded his long speech. You know how those men who emotionally abuse women sound when they are convinced they are right about everything and the women just don't know how to act and therefore need their guidance? How they talk with a very low, calm voice but really it's a load of crap! That's how he was talking, hopefully, I will be able to upload those recording so you can hear for your self.

We sat in the car for a while until he made peace with the fact that I wasn't speaking. He sped off. I was like, great, we are going to die! On our way back to his place, I received a call from an agent, regarding my application.I told her I would call her back when I got home. I was annoyed because he was totally listening to my conversation. We got home, I helped offload the car, while trying to unpack groceries, he stood in my way and stretched out his arms, yuck! I looked the other way and was ready to walk the heck out of there. There was no space for me to move, he gave me a hug and said, "you know daddy loves you, but you can be bad sometimes. Daddy just wants you to be good" I don't know if that was his failed attempt at apologising or what, I didn't care, soon as he was done with his crap, I went for a walk. I never hugged him back. I called the agent back, turned out to be a joke. They wanted me to pay them for compulsory training, after which they were going to see if they could help placing me. I was like, nah thanks!

I was somewhat relieved that "Daddy" wasn't in a fowl mood after all, I think the call did it because he did ask me about it. He was excited that I was going to get a job. Sister wasn't home when we got home, nor when I got back from my long walk. I saw a few places to let, made a few phone calls, they were too expensive for ugly rooms, in ugly houses in a not cute neighbourhood, close to Daddy.

When I got home, El was on the computer, I went straight to bed. It had been a long day. Plus I didn't feel like interacting with him in any way, shape or form.

Sister got home, they hung out in the living room watching some tv. I must have gone to sleep around 7/8pm. Around 10pm, Elvis came in, turned the light on and woke me up. He wanted to know if I was asleep! Then he had a long conversation with himself about himself, just thinking out loud OUT LOUD, with me trying to sleep in the same room. He went to the toilet, pooped with the door open. Mind you, the bathroom is en suite! He would then go, "did you hear that?" I was like, I AM TRYING TO SLEEP, DO YOU FCKING MIND! He told me how I was the most negative person he ever met, he is just trying to make conversation, ABOUT POO WHILE I AM TRYING TO SLEEP! ARE YOU SHTTING ME? (pun intended haha). He went on and on, whining. Then the whining became threats, he was telling me how I was sponging off him, I didn't even want to spend any time with him or be intimate with him, "YOU'RE A COUCH SURFER! YOU ARE A COUCH SURFER!" I told him about couchsurfing! He didn't even know there was such a thing. He panicked every time he saw me on their website, I think he was afraid I was looking for my next home. I didn't meet him on CS, nor did I meet Perry there, so I don't know what he was talking about. If you want to hurt my feelings, calling me a couchsurfer is the last thing you should call me. In fact, I stopped caring a long time ago, very little hurts my feeling. Plus consider the source, nuff said!

He went on and on and on and omg ON! I got up, got dressed and got the fck out of his place, it was between 11pm and midnight by then, he had been giving it to me for more than an hour. I walked up and down the neighbourhood. I took my cellphone and some money with me cos I didn't know where I was going to end up. I looked for a hotel, motel, hostel, whatever, there was nothing in close proximity. I went and stood outside the police station and just stood there for hours. I was chatting to a friend of mine who lives in The Netherlands, who told me to find a restaurant close by and find out if they would let me sit there rather than standing my the street lamp outside the police station.

There is a Subway up the road from Elvis'. I went there and asked if I could hang out therefor an hour or two. They let me. I crashed there, but never really fell asleep. It was between 2 and 3 in the morning. By 5 in the morning, people started coming in and my cell battery was dead. I did the walk of shame back to his place. Sister was there when I left, she was awake on her love seat in the living room.I got back after 5, El was sound asleep and snoring. That's when I realised how truly mean a person he is! Your girlfriend, is wandering the streets of Los Angeles in the middle of the night and you're sleeping like a baby! Really! And That man can snore! You have never heard anybody snore as loud as that man, trust me on that! You know when people say, how do you sleep at night? His answer would probably be, "like a baby!"

When I got back in, Sister was like, where the heck did you go? She told me she was worried about me. I was thinking to myself, " prove it!". Again, whatever, no fcks given! I hung out with her for about an hour or so. We talked about everything. Everything El had ever told me about...well, everything was a lie. The incident when Sister snapped at me and was telling me she was going to fck me up, she wasn't scared of me blah blah blah, with El watching, and not intervening? Well, the whole thing was orchestrated by Elvis! He told Sister he was going to tell me to beat her up (I know! ME! Like who have I ever beaten up?), knowing I had told him I was about to go to the kitchen to get some water, so when I came out of the bedroom, Sister thought I was going to beat her up, that's why she went on the defense. The list of stories is endless.

The apartment they live in, is their mom's. Basically El still lives at home, AT 55! Their father was in the army, when he died, the widowed wife started getting a certain amount of money, she also gets her grant/pension or whatever, that pays all the bills of the house. El only buys car parts with his money from Sears. His mom doesn't live with him, he lives at home, with his mom. The sister's case is understandable, she could care less about that stanky s place, she has her van. She was there to take care of her mom. She has her cats, she's fine. I couldn't ask the sister about abusing El when he was young, which I strongly believe is all a lie on account of, I didn't want to hurt her feelings. We talked and talked and she hugged me and cried and apologised for what she did that day. It was all her brother, my boyfriend's doing. I went to bed just before he got up, cos I didn't want to talk. He tried to talk to me, I pretended to be sleeping. Never slept a wink that day. Unlike him, I don't always sleep like a baby.

He got up in a good mood, as if nothing happened, I stayed in bed until he left for work around 10am. soon as he left, I got up and made more calls.

El had a very old computer that he didn't want to replace. He kept telling me he was going to take it in for repairs which he never did. I offered to have a look at it. One day, while he was at work, I worked on it. One of the issues was that the memory was full, he kept getting the Low Disc pop up. It still baffles me why, because he literally has nothing save in the hard drive. The mouse was also old and faulty, probably more dirty than anything else. He had to wiggle it every time he needed to use it.I lent him my own mouse which I got from my mom, so it had sentimental value.

He seemed happy to come home to a working computer to do his facebooking (read:Stalk his exes on Facebook) and to shop for car parts for his Challenger. He has two friends on Facebook, and goes by the name John Smith. He told me that when Facebook suggests a friend to you, it's always someone who has looked you up on FB. If that particular person's name goes to the top of the list, it means that person has been frequently looking you up. Okay, Mr. 2 FB Friends! I'll take your word for it! Especially seeing as you're going by a pseudonym. I'm sure people know exactly what that is! #RollEyes

He was so happy I fixed his computer, he offered to take me to his favorite burger place to buy us his favorite burger! Basically, he was so grateful to me, he wanted to show it by treating himself. I politely declined the offer. It wasn't for me anyway #Narcissism. A few days thereafter, he complained about something with regards to the pc. I explained to him that it had nothing to do with what I had done to the PC. When he brought it up the second time, I knew he was going to be a pain in the neck about it, so I quietly went to the PC and undid all that I had done to fix it. While working on it, in the living room, he got on a call on his Magic Jack phones (landline which works through the internet). When I was done, I restarted the computer unaware that he was on the phone. Next thing I knew, he came out of the bedroom, walk towards me ever so calmly and hit me in the head saying, "you disconnected my call"! He proceeded calmly towards the kitchen and drank Diet Pepsi from the bottle, as if he didn't just hit someone in the head. Or hit someone period. I was stunned! I literally froze!

Sunday, September 01, 2013

One night, daddy decided to take me out. He told me to dress up, it was going to be a romantic surprise. I got excited! It was a cool winter night, as wintery as a Southern Californian night can be. He wore his usual; blue Levi's, a t-shirt and the leather jacket. We drove off into the night. The atmosphere was neither here nor there. We drove through LA, he showed me the Hustler Casino, and the house he and his brother owned; for the umpteenth time! I just went with it.
We had Tommy's burgers and fries, in the parking lot. Soon thereafter, we drove off. It was late, nine-ish. I did wonder, quietly inside, if he wasn't going to kill me, whether I should alert someone. You never know!

We drove past another one of his old places, a house, he used to rent an apartment upstairs. He told me that was when he was his brokest ('that a word?) The neighbourhood is different, didn't look that scary. He had shown me that before too, but who's counting? We soon arrived in Long Beach. Speaking of long, the drive seemed looooong, El's driving! No comment! Yay, the beach! The parking was packed! There was a hotel, or two, and a restaurant... or two! I was wondering where he was going to take me.

We found parking. He opened the back door and told me to get my sweater, as I'd mentioned, it was a bit cool. While getting something to drink at the back, he found a packet of Bounce, coconut and dark choc bars. He loves that stuff! I hate that stuff! He was so excited. You should see the back of that car. It can't be healthy eating anything coming from there, but okay. He locked the car, grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye and breathed deeply, "What do you think?" about? (that's what I thought) but of course, I went with it, and was like, 'wow! It's pretty out here!'. I mean, I was still waiting for the main event.

We walked all the way across the parking. To our left, was the beach, we could see the lights from the ships, ugh, love it! And there was The Queen Mary, google it, if you will. I saw it on one of the Housewives' shows thereafter, and it was weird that I know where that is now and I have seen it. Anyway, I thought to myself, is he taking me there? Are we going to the hotel? The restaurant?

I tried to take pictures, he did tell me to take the camera along. Thing is, the pictures didn't come out that great, it was dark after all. He pointed at The Queen Mary and told me to take a picture of that. You know there's one thing about me, I don't know about you, but I hate it when someone tells me what to take a picture of with my own camera that I spent so much money on, making my own memories! Why should someone care which pictures I will have as my memories? I don't get it, #ControlFreaks! Perry used to do the same thing. I don't know if it's men of a certain age or what.

We walked towards the beach, away from the Buildings. It became evident that I was not going to a restaurant nor a hotel, at least not that night. We walked further away from everything really. I began to wonder. He seemed excited that he was making my day. That he was giving me something to tell my family about on Skype, next time we talked. That's another thing! Do things; for me; because you want to not to impress my family! You should try to impress me, why do you care about my family at this point in the game?

We found a bench, a lonely worn out, sad bench! Next to which was a lonely, sad bicycle! He told me to have a seat, with a big, satisfied smile on his face. My expression inside couldn't me farther from his. Talk about polar opposites. On the outside, I was all smiles, just like him. #Happiness #NOT

He couldn't wait to unwrap his chocolates and munch away, in no time, he was dark brown all around his mouth. Bleh! He put his arm around my neck, "So, tell me! Is this not the most romantic date you have ever been on?"