Our PS time was 1.30pm but it looked like 50s Prime Time was the place to eat on this day so we had a wait before we were called through. Ellie and Harry used the time to fight over who would sit in the big armchair, and the rest of us used the time to roll our eyes at Ellie and Harry. We were called through at around 1.50pm and escorted to two booth type tables on either side to a kitchen entrance. As we got ourselves settled I became aware of someone standing behind me and looked round to see another guest standing with their nose to the wall in the doorway. I enquired as to the transgression that warranted this and she admitted that she had failed to eat her green beans and watch out for our server.

Our server appeared with a, “Hi guys, remember me, your Uncle Tim.” We bid hello to Uncle Tim. “So you guys living in England these days then?” We reply in the positive. “So what, you don’t write or call anymore? Mom doesn’t know how the kids are doing, she worries you know.” We all sit looking sheepish. Uncle Tim goes over the daily specials and recommendations with us and then asks, “did you all wash your hands before sitting down?” Adrian and myself are despatched to rectify this while everyone else in the area mocks us mercifully. I return at the exact moment that Big Steve yells out, “Uncle Tim!” The lady who was in my doorway had been allowed to sit down but had now spilt her chocolate milkshake all over the table. Uncle Tim returned to take our order and spotted the mess. There was much rolling of eyes and muttered comments about how he always gets left to clear up the mess after the kids go out to play.

Uncle Tim started with me and I ordered a vanilla milkshake and looked expectantly at the others thinking this was the drinks ordering. “Well, do you want anything to eat, or what?” I sheepishly order the fried chicken. Adrian orders chicken pot pie, Nanny Lesley I believe had a laa-dee-daa chicken Caesar salad, Big Steve also had fried chicken, I have no idea what Lisa had, and Ellie and Harry both had the kids chicken strips and fries. I’d told everyone that the milkshakes here were really good but Lisa got a bit confused with the menu description and ordered a malted shake. Uncle Tim played with this for a bit before announcing, “You don’t actually know what you are ordering, do you?” Lisa looks sheepish and she ends up ordering a chocolate shake. More on this in a second.

Our drinks arrive and Uncle Tim goes to great pains to explain the correct method of transferring milkshake from mixing thing into glass, all the while casting disparaging glances in the direction of the table covered with chocolate shake. While we wait for our food Uncle Tim goes back and forth and every time he passes our way he catches Lisa with her elbows on the table. Then he notices that she’s not drinking her milkshake and asks why. Lisa informs him that she doesn’t like it. “What’s wrong with it?” Lisa replies, “I don’t like chocolate.” Yes it’s true: Lisa is the only person I know on the entire planet who does not like chocolate. So why if she doesn’t like chocolate did she order a chocolate milkshake? Well to this day, no one has been able to answer that question, especially not Lisa. Of course Uncle Tim loved this, and told every other CM who passed through that the lady who didn’t like chocolate had ordered a chocolate shake. And when another group were seated in his section when he was going through the menu he gave them a tip very loudly: “If you don’t like chocolate, do not order a chocolate milkshake.”

Shortly after this, these huge plates of food are delivered and we set about eating our green beans first to get them out of the way. Apparently it’s cheating to give your green beans to Steven but I got away with that one. There were 3 pieces of chicken on my plate. It took a heck of a lot of eating but we were all so scared of what might happen that we all cleared our plates; even Harry, whom Uncle Tim had renamed Scooter. The name stuck and he was Scooter for the rest of the trip.

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Once we had finished Uncle Tim took away our plates and while we waited to order dessert I used the time to refill my milkshake glass. I did everything exactly as had been instructed – tap the jug gently on the edge of the glass and left the shake just drop in. My shake had a large lump of ice cream in the centre that I did not spot until it was too late. Straight out, over the edge of the glass, landing in a heap in the middle of the table. I was aghast. Everyone else in our group yelled simultaneously, “Uncle Tim!” A voice nearby replies, “I already seen it.” The horror, the horror: Uncle Tim was seated at an adjacent table watching me spill my milkshake. I froze with fear. Luckily he sensed my fear and let me off with just a pile of napkins and instructions to clean my own mess up for once. Then he went off to get our dessert orders. I had Smores, Adrian had Dad’s sundae, Nanny Lesley had banana split, Ellie had ice cream, Harry had Worms in Dirt of course, and I can’t remember what Big Steve and Lisa had. Here’s a tip with the Smores: share it. It’s very tasty, but huge.

Uncle Tim bought our check, and we checked that the gratuity had been added, and then added a bit more on top because we liked Uncle Tim a lot. We asked him if it was alright if we went out to play, and we said our goodbyes and made our way slowly (big full bellies) outside.