Thomas Sutherland (England)

Thomas Sutherland - England

I am English but lived in Norway till I was 14. My parents got divorced in Norway. My mother was treated extremely unfairly (mainly as she had not assimilated to the culture as much as my father) during the custody battles and my father won custody of me. I was then kept from seeing my mother from 6-14. My father remarried a Norwegian lady shortly after the custody battle, and I was then forced to be as Norwegian as possible. I was not allowed to talk about my mother, speak English to my father etc. I rebelled against this and was physically abused at home and labeled a problem child by the school. They even told me I was going to grow up to be a criminal at one point. Either way, when I was 14 I got told to come home early one Friday evening and had to make a decision there and then on weather to be sent to a "special" school in the other side of the country or go to live with my estranged mother who I had not seen in since I was 6. I was flown out of the country first thing the following morning. All of this caused a hell of a lot of trauma to both me and my mother and it's only recently through going to therapy that I've been able to think back at those times (hence why I found this group )I would love to help in this cause and I wonder if my story could help in this battle to ensure other families don't have to go through the same thing. It baffles me how the state can be so incentive as to take away a child from a loving parent/s and family, rather than supporting them instead. I know from first hand experience how these children most feel; unwanted, confused and alone.

There is so much I could say about this, it's just baffling! There are many good Norwegians but I think many of them find it hard to to see things from another cultures perspective. Though they are treating their own people the same. On an NRK documentary I saw yesterday, the state reasoned that the grandparents were unable to take care of their grandchild, not because they had bad parenting skills but because they disagreed with the court ruling that the child's mother was unfit to take care of the little girl?? If things are the same as they used to be, then it's worrying that they will rather see a child suffer then admit to their mistakes. I've attached bellow the report the teacher wrote to my UK school,who said it's the most disgusting and unprofessional report they have ever seen a teacher write and couldn't understand why they hadn't tried to find out the reasons for my behaviour. Oh and to put the icing on the cake, the government attempted to take my mother to court in England for not paying child benefits,even though I was living back with mother. I've also attached the response what the clerks in the UK wrote to the Norwegian courts.

about school report

The school report is nonsense. No evaluation, no subject related strengths and weaknesses, just more of a "this child is bad and is a complete lost cause". Though,thankfully someone here managed to find some hope in me, and I was able to complete my education and get a university degree. Either way, I would love to help in anyway possible. There must be many other people who have been failed by the child welfare system. Hopefully by sharing our stories we can put some form of pressure on the government. It really breaks my heart to read about all these families, and to see other kids being failed due to an ethnocentric ideology. There are so many good things about Norway! But here the state is doing a lot of damage, and frankly they should know a lot better.