2 April 2019

If you are looking for a therapist you have taken a courageous first step. Life can be hard for us all at times. I love the work I do; helping people to explore what's troubling them in order to live more fulfilling lives.

I work privately from beautiful premises on Southernhay, right in the centre of Exeter, Devon, with a wide spectrum of people with many differing presenting issues. Professional, approachable, open-minded and non-judgmental, I have the utmost respect for your individuality and life circumstances.

I draw from several reputable theories of practice enabling me to work effectively, progressively and collaboratively with individuals and couples.Offering a fully professional service I am fortunate enough to be able to work full-time at my dedicated Exeter practice, seeing clients five days a week. I do short, medium and long term therapeutic and supportive work.I am committed to facilitating the exploration of the issues you bring. If you are serious about committing the time and energy required I invite you to make contact to arrange an initial appointment.

Click here for Contact and Cost DetailsPLEASE NOTE : No evening sessions are available for the foreseeable future. I continue to be exceptionally busy. I no longer operate a waiting list but please feel free to make contact and see if a space has become available.

This site is where you can find out information about counselling and how it can help you, my personal approach and services offered, and some details about my background, by clicking on the information tabs above. This is also a blogsite which I use to make regular posts about my work and continuing professional development as a counsellor. Click here for my Articles.I would be very happy to discuss your requirements should you be interested in coming along for counselling. Embarking on a course of counselling can be daunting and I aim to help you feel relaxed and confident that you make the choice that is right for you.

Regulation

Please, whoever you decide to have counselling with, whether individual or agency, ensure that they are registered with an adequate professional body. The BACP is the largest professional body and have a robust complaints procedure which is why I choose to be registered with them. BACP Accredited status is an established, recognised and accepted assurance of experience and maturity as a practitioner.
Without membership of a self-regulating professional body then clients have no recourse should they feel that they are being treated unethically. At the moment, there is nothing to stop people practising as counsellors without this protection for their clients. Following the dreadful scandal involving the Exeter based Palace Gate Counselling Service I researched and wrote about this topicon this post about the regulation of counselling and psychotherapy. I spent several years campaiging for the regulation of counselling and psychotherapy along with Phil Dore via the website Unsafe Spaces. I have taken a step back from this to focus on my practice (March 2018).

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but in the case of therapists lifting content directly from other therapists' websites I reckon that this is not good for our clients and does not reflect well on either ourselves as practitioners with integrity nor the profession as a whole. We all take inspiration from other professionals but please at least change some of the words and sentences around. I am proud of the content of my website which has been carefully constructed over many years of practice and have been concerned to see some of my site lifted almost word for word on other therapist sites.

2 January 2019

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me"I remember thinking about this when I was about 8 years old. I recall where I was at the time, standing on the bars on the swing inside the climbing frame we had in the garden. I don't know who it was that had called me names, but I distinctly remember thinking "what a load of rubbish, course it hurts". It does hurt when people are verbally abusive. We feel emotional pain and whilst it doesn't break our bones it can leave us feeling broken-hearted. So what does it mean if somebody close to us verbally abuses us? Well yes, it hurts, and it can be damaging to the relationship.I sometimes see clients with anger issues that are affecting their relationships. Often there's something underlying the anger; usually unmet childhood needs and unhealed wounds springing forth and highjacking their rational thinking. Something is said in anger, and it causes damage. We might not have consciously wanted to cause damage in that moment but maybe subconsciously we are trying to lash out and hurt because of the pain (from the past) that has been triggered within us. When we are feeling vulnerable and distressed we can revert to infantile responses but ultimately they often do us more harm than good. It can take a lot of courage to really do the soul-searching required to heal from those deep childhood wounds, but the consequences of not doing so may sabotage our close relationships and therefore our own happiness.I have huge respect for those that choose to allow themselves to be vulnerable enough within a therapeutic relationship to learn how to regulate their emotions, allow a healthy functional relationship to develop with their therapist and to find ways of truly changing those patterns. This is not usually brief work. This relational work, where early unmet needs are being addressed, requires commitment and consistency. The therapist needs to have very clear boundaries to provide the containment required. The client needs to be ready and willing to go and look where that pain resides.I'm not entirely sure if everybody so afflicted has the choice to engage at this level or not, but that leads to a whole philosophical debate about freewill/choice. All I do know is that I have been privileged enough to witness this profound growth in some.This article, about the damaging effects of threateningdivorce in relationships, prompted me to write this short post:https://www.verywellmind.com/threatening-divorce-during-an-argument-4088210