(Quote)ED-20630 said: My guess is that if a person thinks that they might be "deman...

(Quote)ED-20630 said:

My guess is that if a person thinks that they might be "demanding", then they are likely underestimating that aspect of their personality. Perhaps that person should discuss it with a couple of trusted friends who know him/her well. Like adding a spoonful of pepper to a stew, unreasonable demands can make a relationship very unpalatable.

Give me a man with a spine, a mind of his own and equal measures of reasonableness, patience, empathy and a willingness & ability toward constructive communication.

I will not tolerate bossy or dominiering controlers. While I am a capable, fairly self-sufficient woman - I do not mind, in fact would welcome, someone to gently guide and lead. The man should be the head of his family and lead them toward a holy existence - but he shouldn't let it 'go to his head'. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.

(Quote)Lynea-297530 said:
Mr. Demeanor over Mr. Demanding. I think one can catch more flies with honey, as the saying goes....

(Quote)Lynea-297530 said:

Mr. Demeanor over Mr. Demanding. I think one can catch more flies with honey, as the saying goes. A person with a disciplined demeanor is more attractive. There really shouldn't be a need to demand something from your spouse or girlfriend if you know how to communicate and are respectful of ine another.

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Hi Lynea,

Some versions of Mr. Demanding, not the most extreme of forms but a sort higher than most on the demand scale, may employ demanding tones only after the softer approaches fail, which eventuality might never occur in your personal world. Maybe this more lyneant type would be acceptable to someone named Lynea.

I think the word "demanding" rightly has a negative connotation in relationships. In a real sense, we can't "demand" something from another person. They are other than us (separate and out of our control) and that is a good thing (we can't be in a relationship if there is not an "other" person to be in relationship with.)

Relationships are a free gift of self to an other. That can't be "demanded" or forced if it is genuine and freely given. Even "demanding" respect is pointless since we can't "make" the other person do something which requires freedom in the giving. Somehow the demanding negates the freedom.

I liked the distinction made between "demands" and "expectations". Expectations are good especially when they are shared! Expressed needs are also good. It gives the other person the opportunity to respond in freedom and express love. Demands? Not a fan. It implies one person is above/better/stronger/etc. than the other. And it introduces "force" into love . . . which is freely given.