TREE OF LIFE – won the equivalent of Best Picture at the Cannes Fim Festival this weekend, but experts don’t think that will help much at the box office. But how can that be? Everyone loves the French. If those socialist pussies liked the movie, it should do great here in America. (la times)

KIRSTEN DUNST – was the winner of the Best Actress award at Cannes for her work in ‘Melancholia’. As you now know, Cannes selects winners by randomly choosing a name out of a hat. (ew)

GWYENETH PALTROW – was supposed to be all set to sign a record deal with Atlantic six weeks ago, but talks have stalled, perhaps because she wanted too much money upfront ($1M). Wait, Paltrow is being an unreasonable pain in the ass? Well this is the fist I’ve heard of anything like that. (ny post)

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 4 – made $90M in its opening weekend, which means there will no doubt be a number 5. If it stars Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz again, they should call it ‘Voyage of the Mumblers’. (mojo)

MICHELLE HUNZIKER – is a Swiss model, and this weekend she was on the beach in Italy. That’s her in the purple bikini, in case you weren’t putting the pieces together yet. (splash news)