SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

SYLVIA: So, what happened?

WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive.

He willnae tak' a drink! I think he's deid! , on the other hand though A Midgie in yir hand is worth twa up yir kilt.

It was fun being a baby boomer... until now. Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby Boomers. They include:

Herman's Hermits--- Mrs.. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.Ringo Starr--- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now.Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your LiverThe Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair.Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.The Temptations--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.Abba--- Denture Queen.Tony Orlando--- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.Willie Nelson--- On the Commode Again