Sunday, September 25, 2011

This photo in the right was taken about when we were 4 or 5, I
forgot when. But as you can see, there are a lot of striking differences. That’s
me in the left. I was fat and had pale skin; he was really thin and tan. I
liked to wear really casual clothes, while he was “swaggy.” His hair was almost
emo-like while mine was just plain straight—no modifiers or anything. You might
not know this but my teeth developed more slowly than his. Also, he was very
outgoing—he had a lot of friends when he was really young (he still has a lot
of them); I was very tranquil, reserved, laid-back, and friendless. I was very
narcissistic that the only photos of me were photos with ONLY me. My twin
brother was fonder of our grandparents than I was. I was and am still smarter
than him, though.

We were born on June 22, 1995, and I was 6 minutes earlier
than he was. I wish I was born after him. But at least I always get to be the boss
of him. We’re great brothers. We hate each other; but we consider each other
best friends and best brothers. It’s fun having a brother—twin brothers, for
the win! Oh, by the way, here we are now:

At age 16, Joshua and I are still the persons we were at 4
or 5. He’s still very stylish and formal (my only complaint is his sandals). I
am still very casual and simplistic. There’s not much difference. We’re still
living in the same bedroom.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

It was ironic that two nights ago (or the last time I posted something) that I was saying that in a stream of consciousness blog it doesn't have to be separated into paragraphs. Well, it just happened that yesterday, I read about clarity and understanding, which is essential especially if you're discovering yourself. We are reading Socrates for philosophy, btw. And I was just learning about Socratic Irony. I don't understand it--does sarcasm count, because these are some of the examples: a professor commenting on a bad paper: "Beautiful job. You've done better" and an aerophobic person who died in a plane crash saying "Isn't this nice?" which are his last words. Those are sarcasm, aren't they?

Also, I totally forgot to post some stream-of-consciousness blog posts last night, only realizing when I am already ready to sleep. I am still going to post this here as an update--meaning no SOC blog post tonight, and I will also post this in my other blog.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Two days ago, I did a stream of consciousness post, and I had an idea last night to put a blog of these posts--I am not promising any schedule of posts. And I will not expect you to read every post-- I mean, who does? It's just a blog/journal about my thoughts. I might like to come later or something like that. How it works though is I will write a blog post for a limited amount of time of 10 minutes. If I choose to edit it I will, but most of the time I will not (because it's supposed to be like that); the posts would not seem like a stream of consciousness post if I edited them. So, there you go. Explore: lestreamofconsciousness.tumblr.com! Enjoy (or not).

Friday, September 2, 2011

Hi. I was just listening to "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter. I clicked on a video of it because it was feature in a video of a friend. I have had actually bad days. And I've been having the most bad days so far in school. My grades are not that bad as last two years' but I feel kind of different--I feel that everyday is just a bad day; I feel I need to do more. I feel. I don't know what I even feel, to be honest. And I try, I do try. This afternoon we were watching a film about quantum physics in philosophy class, pertaining to Democritus' atomistic theory.I kinda feel that it was a mistake taking that class because my goal of taking that class is to freely explore and express myself in a way that will make me different and encourage me to be different. I feel that I'm really a Cancer now, although I don't believe much in horoscopes yet I know a lot about them, because I feel--I don't think. In my journal entries, I often use "feel" instead of "think". I think it's because the former is used more. I believe that journal entries are for feelings but it's also for ideas--that's why there's an "I think" phrase. Anyway, I felt more sunny today, no pun intended with the really hot day. But I feel relaxed and refreshed during the whole day. The only thing that worried me was my incomplete homework. I chose to not do my philosophy homework supposedly due today because I planned to do it today, but I couldn't and my homework is reflections, meaning long answers, one page or some more. I did work with my school newspaper instead since it's more urgent and important. I could do my homework for two percent grade below--so 100 to 80. By the way, I excelled in doing my homework for philosophy on the first assignment. (I am not even going to correct my grammar here). I put analysis, in-depth answers, and current examples. They were very long answers passing 5 pages. Anyway, I feel accomplished. I feel really accomplished at that time. In that same move we watched this afternoon, the whole emotional routine reminded me of some thing I actually learned in the past--the way you think is affected by your routines. If your depressed, for example, if you succumb to the depression, then you're just going to be depressed longer. You must go for new things. That's one of the messages of the story. But the main idea was that reality consists of things that we can't see and our mind reacts the way it lets us do it. The narrator constantly thought about her past and it was really bad how it affected her. When she was asked to go to a wedding, she was reminded of her wedding, her divorce, her husband cheating on her. Finally someone sees her and makes connection with her and they both do the things a couple use to do at receptions--get drunk. The next day, the narrator finds herself breaking down, hating herself to a degree that the peptides in her mind were actually rearranging themselves and letting her create a new self. One creates his or her own reality is also a message of the film. Anyway, this is a stream of consciousness and this is actually my journal for tonight. My family is here now from a Labor Day feast just near our house. So I guess I'm going out now. Good night! And good luck reading this because you really don't want to. But read anyway.