it was a quiet saturday and i was lazing on the couch enjoying my rarely peaceful home when the phone rang.

TROY
hello

NEW NEIGHBOR LADY
hi troy

TROY
oh, hi new neighbor lady.

NEW NEIGHBOR LADY
i just wanted you to know that bella is over here.

TROY
ok

NEW NEIGHBOR LADY
and ... i just found our cat dead in the basement.

TROY
ok.

NEW NEIGHBOR LADY
and bella was down there.

TROY
in the basement?

NEW NEIGHBOR LADY
yes.

TROY
ok.

NEW NEIGHBOR LADY
and ...

TROY
yeah.

NEW NEIGHBOR LADY
and, well ....

TROY
are you trying to tell me you think my daughter killed your cat?

NEW NEIGHBOR LADY
oh! god no. the cat was old. it should have died months ago. i just wanted you to know bella and molly found it and she may have touched it. i washed her hands but know how you are and thought you'd want to know, and you know, maybe wash them again. that's all.

what do you think's harder; telling someone you feel their child is a potential kill-animals-with-their-bare-hands kind of kid or that you, yourself, are an uptight prig so concerned with microbes and what-nots that it warrants a precautionary call if anything out of the norm happens. i know my new neighbor lady's answer.