The Relationship Thread

Howdy!

Valentine's Day is coming up! Figuring what to get my girl.. we're traveling but I want to do something extra special. Also, while communication is important, sometimes I feel she wants to talk TOO much and that kind of annoys me but I don't know how to tell her that without hurting her feelings, but she thinks I dont think about her or care for her if dont talk to her for at least 2 hours a day. If we can meet up in person that is fine, but I'm not much of a phone person.

The problem with the internet is parallel to its greatest achievement: it has given the little man an outlet where he can be heard. Most of the time however, the little man is a little man because he is not worth hearing.
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I'm a big fan of honest communication, but it's how you handle it. Say to her "I feel overwhelmed at times with the amount of communication we have" instead of saying "you talk too much". The rest of it, be just as honest. Make it clear you value some personal time; my partner said the same to me years ago and I've made it a point to have nights here and there where I do things with friends so he can relax at home, alone, and do what he wants to do.

Valentine's Day is coming up! Figuring what to get my girl.. we're traveling but I want to do something extra special. Also, while communication is important, sometimes I feel she wants to talk TOO much and that kind of annoys me but I don't know how to tell her that without hurting her feelings, but she thinks I dont think about her or care for her if dont talk to her for at least 2 hours a day. If we can meet up in person that is fine, but I'm not much of a phone person.

How should I handle this situation?

Talk on Skype not on the phone, be playing games or doing other stuff at the same time, learn to half listen and make appropriate comments. If she's the type of person who just likes to talk and feel as though she's sharing stuff with you, she won't mind the fact that you're playing a game or reading websites/forums etc. at the same time. Multitasking is awesome :P

Talk on Skype not on the phone, be playing games or doing other stuff at the same time, learn to half listen and make appropriate comments. If she's the type of person who just likes to talk and feel as though she's sharing stuff with you, she won't mind the fact that you're playing a game or reading websites/forums etc. at the same time. Multitasking is awesome :P

I don't mind it when my boyfriend does this to me. At least he tries to be there when I need him to be. As long as you don't do anything uber distracting like play a computer game super loud, you're safe. But if he catches me on a bad day, he better turn that game off and listen to me. LOL.

Talk on Skype not on the phone, be playing games or doing other stuff at the same time, learn to half listen and make appropriate comments. If she's the type of person who just likes to talk and feel as though she's sharing stuff with you, she won't mind the fact that you're playing a game or reading websites/forums etc. at the same time. Multitasking is awesome :P

Talk on Skype not on the phone, be playing games or doing other stuff at the same time, learn to half listen and make appropriate comments. If she's the type of person who just likes to talk and feel as though she's sharing stuff with you, she won't mind the fact that you're playing a game or reading websites/forums etc. at the same time. Multitasking is awesome :P

I must be the luckiest guy in the world. My girlfriend isn't picky about me and we don't care about the concept of "space". It's more like a, "Want to do something/hang out today or something. I see a lot of guys with girls that are so obnoxious that they honestly must still date them for the sex or as a badge of honor. Since this is in the chat zone, we can branch this thread out right?

I guess its nice to have someone who isn't a dunce and doesn't view a relationship as a set of rules etc. She doesn't mind if I ramble about anything completely irrelevant and in return I'll listen to whatever she wants to talk about and add tk the conversation. I don't believe in just saying, "yeah that's cool", thats depressing... Though seeing some guys with their girlfriends, I wouldn't blame them for having a half hearted conversation.

Howdy!
But she thinks I dont think about her or care for her if dont talk to her for at least 2 hours a day. If we can meet up in person that is fine, but I'm not much of a phone person.

How should I handle this situation?

I've had the same problem before. You have to tell her up front. "Honey I love you (or whatever stage you're at in your relationship) but I'm not a phone person. I can't talk/text on the phone all the time. I don't want you to think I don't care about you, it's just how I am. I love spending time with you..." yada yada fluff it up

You'll probably get one of two answers:

A quiet "ok" and it'll get awkward for a moment or she'll get immediately jealous. Not many girls take to this kindly. But you have to tell them and give them time to see what you mean by "not all the time" before its too late and stuff hits the fan. Happened to me when I went out to Afghanistan.