My rescued King Charles Cavalier just summoned me yesterday with his "Quick! Something is terribly wrong!" bark. I had to track him down, he was in my Mothers bathroom (not used when she isn't here) The bathroom rug was turned up and he led me to look behind the door, gave me his "See,here!" look and then boinged the door stop springs, making it flip flop around. I had to close off the whole room and calm him down.
He cannot stand anything out of place either. A paper bag sitting on the kitchen counter drives him nuts!

I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

I have a cat now that NEVER. STOPS. MEOWING. I am meaning CONSTANT meowing. Especially if I am on the phone, he gets louder then. Constantly follows me and wherever I go, he goes. Lays on whatever I am working on, paper work or laptop- doesn't care. Meows at my kids' doors 10 minutes before their alarms go off every morning. The only time he doesn't stay up my ass is if I am in the shower. He lays on my bed until I get out.

(276): Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuckOK, I can't sing, I can't act, I'm dumb, I'm a hillbilly, but I can twerk, so whatever.-Miley Cyrus

He has Issues. If I close the bathroom door to soak cleaner in the toilet, he barks while down flat on his tummy trying to see what monster is hiding in there.
My standard poodle is a gentleman dog.
He is calm and quiet and a cat burglar.He can reach the coutertops & island easily. I have told this on here before, but once I took out 3 frozen biscuits (the U.S. bread kind) to have for dinner. I put them on a cookie sheet up on the counter, turned away a minute and when I turned back there were only 2 frozen biscuits. I whirled around and there was my poodle, innocently sitting bolt upright. He is velvet black & I could clearly see frosty steam coming out of both sides of his mouth. Guilty!

I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

one of my cats used to steal socks from the laundry of most of our neighbors. she also had a little troll doll and carried it around in her mouth, and would growl if you took it from her.

The cat we have now, Frito, comes in the house, and meows over and over until we open the fridge. She will put her paw on the block of cheese. Hub will grate the cheese,and she has her own cheese plate. Odd cat.

It is not that weird but it is annoying. My kitten steals my coffee. I cannot leave a cup unattended, she will jump wherever I have put it and start drinking the coffee. I'm afraid that a couple of times before I realised she was doing this we might have shared a few cups. FML

One of my cats used to take a dirty sock, drop it in the toilet, pull it out, and drag the soaking wet sock around the apartment. Sometimes she'd have problems getting it out, and when I'd get home, I'd find a sock in the toilet.

Another cat used to turn light switches on and off. I'd come home, look up at my apartment, and there was always one light switching on and off over and over.

It is not that weird but it is annoying. My kitten steals my coffee. I cannot leave a cup unattended, she will jump wherever I have put it and start drinking the coffee. I'm afraid that a couple of times before I realised she was doing this we might have shared a few cups. FML

My poodle is just like that. I have to watch him-he does not like my coffee with cream. He never touches my husband's black coffee.
But he LOVES my Mother's coffee with 2 sugars.

I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

I have one cat that is the King of Dumb. Kinda cross-eyed, shy (I've had him for 3 years and he runs away from me constantly; I bribe him with bits of chicken and fish that I hand feed him). He steals candy - only the wrapped kind. I buy several varieties of wrapped candy (mostly chocolates, but some hard candies) and eat a few pieces during the day. If I turn my back or get distracted, he'll sneak up, take one in his mouth and run like hell. I'll find it later - he doesn't eat it, just wants to play with it. And, he won't take just a wrapper - it has to have the candy in it.

My dog Chili used to eat everything when she was a puppy. Once she ate a whole package of 24 (!) frozen (!!!) fishfingers. Another time she stole a whole wheel of parmesan cheese. It was maybe 5kg. She ate half of it in one day. And she used to drink my glasses Martini when I didn't look.

My mom's cat steals donuts. No donut in the house was safe. He would find them no matter where you hid them. He knew when you brought them in the house, knew when you ate them...it was just crazy. The very first time we found that he had a fetish for donuts was when my mom brought home this huge pack of donuts you get from like Costo or Sam's. We all went to be and woke up the next morning and every donut had a bite out of them until we found that he found his favorite. Dragged that one down the hall and left one little piece. Funniest damn thing ever.

I had this dog once, that I didn't keep long because it was CRAZY! Chesapake Bay Retreiver, and it did some crazy shit, tore my house apart. The craziest thing this dog did, and I have never heard of anyone else doing this....she would hang out on the doof of our house. She'd go to the second floor, push the screen off my son's bedroom window, walk out onto the roof and just hang out. She freakin loved it up there. Imagine a 100lb dog running at top speed across the roof, then short stopping when she got to the edge. Crazy freakin dog. Here's photographic evidence.

I am so glad I don't have this dog anymore.....

RELIGION: Treat it like it's your genitalia. Don't show it off in public, and don't shove it down your children's throats.

I had a couple of goats for a hot minute. Didn't take long before they started getting on my car. One day, they shit on the hood. Got rid of them that weekend. (to a good home, btw)

We also had a cat that would steal jewelry, even from house guests, which was very embarrassing. Finally, when we were moving, we found a fuckload of jewelry hidden inside the pool table. Never could figure out how that fat bitch managed that.