I know deep down there is gold within me. A divine quality I am yet to face. The worldly distractions need to be removed so I can really face who I am.

As such, the fears, the traumas, anything un-resolved rises to the surface. I notice extreme judgemental-ism and intolerance arising in me. It’s funny, as the more aware I become of the bigger picture of life, the more intolerant I become of anyone not ‘getting it’. And I must not judge myself about this for very little is written about ‘the void’ of the spiritual journey. It is part of the crumbling, a part of the ego’s last hold.

As the illusions drop from our eyes, at first, frustration, resentment, judgement and intolerance will arise. We are the saint and the sinner all in one body. Positive thinking and positive tools and exercises merely sugar-coat what eventually we all must face – our whole self.

The Only Way Is Through

The Buddha, Jesus, Gandhi, all went through rites of fire.

The Buddha did not sit under the Bodhi tree, close his eyes, meditate and suddenly reach enlightenment. He would have been much like Jesus, experienced judgement of the human species, pain about the unfairness and atrocities of the world (Jesus and the money changers for example) and a walk through the fire of transformation.The un-conditional love, acceptance and inner peace was not an instant enlightenment ready-made meal they would have gone through.

I sometimes feel Western society may have a more challenging time of releasing the old identity. Mainly because we have created so much ‘stuff’ and distraction. So little time for awareness, so little space for simply being with who we are. In fact we have filled our lives to complete distraction in the West. Anything to make us feel better – most of it from the outside, very little from the inside.

So I feel really blessed to have this time, this space and this aloneness. It can feel scary, lonely and painful at times. Being with ALL of me. Resistance still arises and I feel I have just entered the fire, but not fully. My ego still has been grabbing on to the familiar, the known.

If you feel like your life is crumbling and who you thought you were is dissolving, take it as the transformative effects of the spiritual cleansing fire. Your inner self is ready for change.

You are ready to meet your real self.

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Kelly Martin

Kelly Martin is the author of ‘When Everyone Shines But You’ , a passionate writer and blogger questioning life’s illusions. After what seemed like a decade of intense anxiety, feelings of failure and grief from the loss of her father she chose to take a mindfulness path and has not looked back since. Kelly encourages people to find the treasures that lie within the pain and suffering and to learn to see themselves as ‘enough’ exactly as they are, right now through her writing and You Tube channel .