April 25, 2011

Something that we thought of immediately that the author didn't pick up on (or perhaps chose to not explicitly state) was the importance of niche porn. Who among us would proudly state that we really enjoy "mainstream porn"?

Can you imagine how that pillow talk would go?

"Hey, that sex was really good and I'm feeling ready for another round. You know what gets me really hot? Watching some missionary"

This probably comes from a truism of porn and fetishes, which goes something like, 'if it gets the players playing..." The idea being that people who make niche, fetish porn are often more likely into it themselves, or at least the people involved in its production are more likely to be excited about it, and that excitement will translate directly from the lens to the screen to your pants. (Either that or the money is better.)

This is as much a statement about pornography, as it is about filmmaking in general. Both have fallen on hard times since their artistic zenith of the 70s. Yet, because of the lowest-common-denominator style film making that we have been exposed to for so long, we have seen a new class of artists rise from the ashes like a smegma encrusted phoenix. Where grandiose films like Ben Hurr and Deep Throat have left off, projects like Made in Secret have stepped in with new production and distribution methods.

People have consistently defined ourselves by what separates us from others, by our uniqueness. More and more people are looking to be enticed by something they can feel is special. Something possibly dirty, taboo. Where will this desire end?

A better question is, when will it get you started? One of our goals in producing and touring with this program of self-propelled, DIY erotica is our belief that a individual's recognition and understanding of their sexuality will lead to an improved quality of life. The available alternative is learning to fuck just by watching standard porn. Which, due to porn's omnipresence, is becoming the de facto reality for many adolescents.

Even if bikes don't turn you on* (AHEM, WHAT!?!) you should know, and possibly have been steadfastly avoiding, the strange bits of life that make you sexually interesting. Meat and potatoes are fine, but avoiding fetish, or casting others off for being "weird" is generally a good indicator of sexual repression, or worse.

Move your ass and make some niche porn! If you wanna make some for us, the deadline for Bike Smut 5: SPEED is less than a month away!

*(we reluctantly accept that Bike Porn is not for everyone, and to that end we have already have developed a cunning, curiously NSFW plan to remedy this situation)

Image credit to Bike Smut Romania... WOW! We opened our 2nd international office without even knowing it!! Go us!!!

April 24, 2011

Happy Easter, bike fuckers. This Sunday celebration of fertile springing could be your opportunity to score some bunny love in the bushes.Love could be right around the corner. Then again, we could say the same thing about death, so be careful what you stick where.

photo credit to Pagans and Christians whose combined forces make for one hella crazy holiday!

April 21, 2011

After a couple weeks of stressful freak outs with international, finical, and bureaucratic nonsense we finally have a proper show to display the world premiere of our new Bike Smut Euro Tour program! (Gawd, we hope there are no more bureaucratic hoops)

April 20, 2011

We recently were given some modest signs of approval from Cindy Gallop, creator of Make Love, Not Porn. We still think the idea of defining your own sexuality, and not letting others define it for you is pretty fucking great.

In this TED talk she does a fabulous job of explaining the real world consequences of a society that allows hardcore porn to be the primary form of sexual education.

We pimped her website almost a year before TED got around to posting this vid. That makes us practically bleeding edge! Plus this is a joyous bit of verbal engagement.

So then, are you an aspiring Cougar? Do you feel like going on the prowl? Have you thought about the conversations you might have with a young lover? Don't fret, the world needs your thoughtful hands to guide the future away from the sexual abyss!

Take heed, you have a lot of fresh meat on your plate... and plenty of young aspiring prey in the field! Go get em tigress!

April 19, 2011

In the past fourSIX eight (!) years we have shared our program of erotic bicycle movies quite a few times, in quite a few places. Hundreds of screenings later we still have never had any leaks!

"How can that be?" you ask.

Great follow up question, thank you for helping us illuminate this idea further.

We do not make DVDs (generally), we do not send screeners to the media. The filmmakers privacy is sacred and we shall not violate that trust and even though selling DVDs would make this a financially viable institution, and sending copies to the media would get us a butt load of press, we say "nay!" (often with a stuffy, British voice). "Nay, we shalt cheapen the experience of gathering as a community together!" For once we see in each other these ideals we can't help from recognizing that freedom of movement via human powered transportation and sexual liberation not only come from similar origins but also deliver you to a beautiful future!
But we are cleaning up things around here, so this ever expanding list of shows that used to be available on the sidebar and caused much confusion is going to live in this dark corner of the Bike Smut blog from now on.

Bike Smut 3 CYCLE BOUND

.. THE BACKLASH TOUR ..
February - June 2010Imagine a DIY porn caravan heading south to Baja, East to the Atlantic, North to Canada, and all the way home to Cascadia. 50 cities in 100 days... yes, you may crap yourself on our behalf.

We have an old Facebook page that will also have more great bikesexual content soon

But now we need your help. Every stupid, vapid, jerkface begs you to befriend them. Many are totally worth your time. The problem is we are adrift in a super highway sea of lame sexual content. We can't even count the number of times that we have been shut down before we could explain how sweet our goals are. This is where YOU come in. If you believe in our mission to improve people's lives through better sex and transportation than you must connect us with others, because no one believes us when we say how awesome our politics are.

Do your part to pass these ideals on! Your friends will be glad you did.

**NOTE: persistent rubbing up against your computer can result in chafing, or worse. Consult an IT physician.**

April 17, 2011

Back in the day you had to steal a half dozen bikes to get enough tubes to build your own flogger. But those days are over! Our friends at Tool Shed in Milwaukee, WI have done the leg work for you. Just look at these colorful ways to make the pneumatic slap!Of course you can still get all DIY and build your own, but if time is short and you got a whole lotta ass to beat, you could save some time and potential embarrassment (if your braiding skills are not stellar).Whup that biker ass!

April 16, 2011

We were still able to buy tickets to Europe the day of our travel after the airline cancelled them and sent the "you can fly on our plane" message in German.

We were able to convince the ticket lady to kick some bureaucratic ass for us and hold the flight and escort us through security checkpoint allowing us to jump onto the plane moments before the gates closed.

We were unable to get our bikes on the same plane, but because we got lost walking to our Berlin host we didn't have to drag heavy boxes all over and instead got them delivered.

We found a great place to show bike porn in Berlin, but the show was already cancelled, but we have a number of people lining up for more bike on biker action.

We now have a van and are about to start traveling all over the continent.

April 14, 2011

There are some things that help make porn even more delectable than normal. In sex, as with bikes the proper lubrication is necessary, so be sure to stock up on useful items. Here are some bribes presented to our friends at Filmed By Bike are having their ninth annual festival in Portland, Oregon.

Bike parties are generally the best parties, get down there and enjoy the awesome.

April 13, 2011

We have arrived in the lions den and are getting ready to share the wonderful world of inspiring bicycle smut with the Fatherland! What a fabulous way to start off an epic six-month tour of Europe! This is by far the most ambitious adventure of bikesexuality we have ever taken on! Yes! We do exclaim!

We are fortunate to have a great team of happy-go-fucky bike punks who will be keeping us moving and grooving across the Euro landscape. Expect dossiers on us all soon, as well as an updated tour schedule. But until then, we are ecstatic that we made it (and hope that our luggage and bikes find their way to us soon).

April 7, 2011

Behold, submitted imagery from our friends in Chapel Hill. Not all porn has to be explicit. Engaging the brain as well as the junk is a fine way to flex some muscles. In this case the image suggests blooming ideas and getting shit done. Pretty sexy. Of course we wouldn't mind

This kind of hot weather sensation gives us pause for leaving the United States. We have found fantastic people everywhere we have gone in North Amand we are looking forward to returning someday. Until then its Europe (and/)orBUST!

There are only a scant few days until we jet out to Berlin! If you find us at a show, in a gutter or your bed just remember we are training for our future rockstar status please so give us a kiss for good luck!

April 6, 2011

New York is the end of the road for our smutty bike team in North America. If you didn't see 4:PLAY by now you might not get a chance. We don't sell DVDs, its not online and we don't get to play the same city twice. But if you are in New York this Saturday, and you consider yourself mature enough to watch porn with friends and strangers than you have a chance for EPIC BIKE LOVE! For not only do we have the final Northern Exposure Tour screening of Bike Porn 4: PLAY but also a chance to see the hottest new bicycle dance troop, Heelz on Wheelz!

“The goals have always been to showcase work that is under-represented. Sometimes it’s queer, sometimes it’s women, and sometimes it’s straight men. Regardless, it’s all work that nurtures me and my communities and makes Boston a little more bearable” CineMental founder Aliza Shapiro.============We now return to our regularly scheduled self love.============WE IS SO LOVED!

Boston really loves Bike Porn. Last year the bikesexuals of Boston made it clear, these people love bikes and sex. Approximately 450 fine-ass-fuck lovers of cycles packed the Brattle to the gills.

Bike Smut is...

At first you may not see the connections between sex and cycling. Some are attracted to the sleek designs, some champion the liberation of women, (eg how bikes put pants on women) while others think bikers are hot and want to fuck them.

We can help.

Our program of short, DIY bike pornography is specially designed to provide you the tools to meet, converse and potentially reach orgasm with bikers in your area!

We endorse:

joyful exploration,

shameless flirtation,

and radical honesty.

Movies are a powerful medium, but even more impressive is what creative ideas come from a community gathering to appreciate the cause of better sex and better transportation! Workshops, dance parties, lectures and discussion groups, potlucks, craft nights, naked/underwear bike rides, and more take part in bettering your community by helping to define obscenity for yourself...