Brunch: A love/hate story

For professional chefs, brunch might be the most divisive meal. Just ask these two local toques.

Brunch is the worst

“There’s a particular terror that comes with opening for brunch. It starts at the hour I realize that none of the staff who I saw at the bar the night before (shouldering off a hard-won Saturday night, the busiest night of the week) are there on time. Then the calling starts and the panic that no one will get there before the guests arrive. One guy I had to call 45 times before he would even wake up and answer his phone. There’s also the surreal fact that you have to turn on a dime and prep your kitchen for a totally different restaurant concept.”- Nick Rancone, owner, Corner Table and Revival (pictured above, left)

Brunch is the best

“I love brunch service. It’s totally exciting and demands an incredible pace. . . . You learn quickly to be disciplined and obsessive about mise en place, timing, quality, everything. It’s like a chess match first then a 15-round boxing match. How great is that!? I love how people spend way too much of their day off relaxing at the bar with friends, drinking cocktails, and eating rich, heavy foods. It’s like slowing down and living in the moment.” - Chris Uhrich, chef de cuisine and king of donuts, The Strip Club Meat & Fish (pictured above, right)

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Brunch buffets by the numbers

The all-you-can-eat smorgasbord is the brunch-iest of all brunches—it’ll stretch your dollars and your waistline. Here are five local spreads we love, along with some (mostly) hard data that shows how each restaurant gets ’r done.

6smith

Average amout of meat consumed during brunch, in pounds: 90Percentage of that number attributed to bacon: 30Average number of minutes after opening that the bacon dish will be refilled: 156smith.com, Buffet runs Sundays, 10 am–2 pm Adults $24.95, 5–12 $9.95, 4 and under FREE

Tavern on France

Portion of tables that have kids on an average Sunday: 1/3Chances that a kid at one of those tables makes a fifth trip to the pancake bar: 2 in 7Percentage of those tables that also sport bloodies/mimosas: 99tavernonfrance.com, Buffet runs Sundays, 10 am–2 pm, Adult $16, 12 and under $7

Al Vento

Average number of Sunday brunchers: 250Percentage of those brunchers who hit the chocolate fountain at the end of the meal: 100Average number of brunchers who dip a pepperoni into the chocolate fountain: 2alventorestaurant.com, Sunday 10 am–2 pm, Boozy Brunch $26, Regular brunch $18, 10 and under $7

Pinstripes

Average number of guests during a given brunch: 281Average number of brunchers who partake in some post-eating bocce: 42Chances that one’s bocce skills will improve after downing a well-poured mimosa: Pretty Goodpinstripes.com/minneapolis, Sunday 10 am–2 pm, Adults $20, 6–12 $12, 5 and under FREE

Lake Elmo Inn

Average number of people attending Sunday brunch: 325Change in that number for Mother’s Day brunch: +600Change in that number during a Vikings home game: –25lakeelmoinn.com, Buffet runs Sundays 10 am–2 pm, Adults $24.95, 3–11 $12.50, 3 and under FREE

Dim sum for dummies

China’s answer to brunch is a parade of small plates and steam baskets containing all manner of Cantonese delights. Servers at dim sum restaurants wheel carts from table to table, and diners point to what they want—everything from dumplings to meatballs to rolled rice noodles. Need a primer? Here’s a localized guide to the glorious Sunday ritual.

• Don’t fear the line. There will be one at Yangtze in St. Louis Park, but you will be rewarded for your time. And bring friends, because dim sum is a sharing event.

• Drink tea. Even if you never drink tea, you should drink it at dim sum. It’s hot and revitalizing and will help fill in the spaces between all the dumplings you are about to put in your belly. When you’ve emptied the pot, turn the lid upside-down or leave it ajar to signal that you need a refill.

• If you don’t know what it is, eat it. When the carts show up, all you have to do is say “yes” or “no,” then the item will be checked off on your tableside list. This isn’t the time or place to ask which farm the meat came from or if there’s wheat in the dumplings. There is. Just eat it.

• No hoarding. Don’t empty the first cart that comes by. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Carts at Mandarin Kitchen in south Minneapolis will be stacked with fresh buns before coming out of the kitchen again, so you will be able to find another round of pork shumai if you need it.

• Chicken feet are a choice, not a dare. If you order them at, say, Pagoda in Dinkytown, eat them. Don’t play with them on your table in an attempt to recreate that Charlie Chaplin bread scene.

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Dara Moskowitz Grumdahl was born in New York City little aware of her destiny—to eat out a lot in Minnesota. Dara is the other half of our star food and dining team, working side by side with Stephanie March.

Chris has been with our organization for five years. Before joining the Mpls.St.Paul team, Chris was deputy editor for DeltaSky, published by MSP Communications. As editor-at-large, Chris is a contributing writer and frequent editor for stories.

Food and Dining editor Stephanie March writes and edits Mpls.St.Paul Magazine’s Eat + Drink section. She can also be heard Saturdays on her myTalk107.1 radio show, Weekly Dish, where she talks about the Twin Cities food scene.