There's an Entire Book on Dating and Bathroom Etiquette, in Case You Were Confused About That

Coming on the heels of yesterday's "Worst Date Ever" story, I guess it should come as no surprise that some people are a little confused on the etiquette of, um, relieving yourself while on a date.

But I had no idea it was such a popular issue until I kept coming across stories about the book How to Poo on a Date: The Lovers' Guide to Toilet Etiquette. I think you get what it's about, but here are a few key tips from "The 9 Golden Rules" in the book that are meant to apply from the first date through the course of the relationship:

#1 — Secret: Never talk about what you are going to do. (The Mr. Phelps rule). Example — Do not say: "Darling, I'm off to recycle that lovely meal you cooked for lunch."

FYI: I once dated a guy whose code words were "Hey babe, I'm just gonna step into my office for a few minutes. Hold my calls."

#2 — Intimacy: Always go alone. (The Loner rule). Example — Do not say: "Would you like to come with me to the toilet, honey?"

This is not a relationship rule, people. This is a life rule. Unless you are three years old and potty training.

# 6 — Security: Do not leave any clues as to the purpose of your mission. (The Columbo rule). Example — Do not walk casually towards the toilets with a copy of the Daily Mail under your arm.

This seems like a rule from the '90s. Doesn't everybody now just take their cellphone to the bathroom with them? (I'm not saying this isn't gross. I'm just saying, you all do it. See photo.)

Anyway, I wasn't aware that this was a subject so confusing it needed an entire book to explain it, but the book is actually sold out on Amazon, so it's clearly a popular topic. Or else we all still have our sixth-grade sense of humor and just think that anything discussing "poo" is hilarious. I'm thinking that's the more logical explanation.

Do you still feel shy about bathroom stuff with a guy you're dating? Or are you the enlightened type who doesn't freak out about bodily functions?