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Perks of Getting Older

A real good and older friend of mine forwarded this to me and thought someone out there in pain, dealing with garbage, has an in-law, or co-worker that has pushed all the right buttons could really use a laugh or two right now.
Someone had to remind me, so I’m reminding you too. Don’t laugh…..it is all true…

Perks of reaching 60 or being over 70 and heading towards 80!

01. Kidnappers are not interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run–anywhere.
04. People call at 9 pm and ask,”Did I wake you?”
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won’t wear out
08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can’t remember who sent you this list.
20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Forward this to every one you can remember right now!
Most importantly, never, ever, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.