Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2000 10:20:24 EST
From: FishofHappiness@aol.com
Subject: The Magnificent Journey, Part 4
Disclaimer: I know no one mentioned in this story. None of this is true.
Don't read if you're too young or too immature to handle it.
Feedback, as always, is appreciated and can be received at
FishofHappiness@aol.com.
The title for this chapter comes from the Our Lady Peace's "Waited".
The Magnificent Journey
Chapter 4: "You left, but I don't blame you."
Lance drummed his fingers on the steering wheel absently. It was midnight,
and he was fairly sure that Chris was asleep again. Lance wasn't asleep,
hadn't slept, and didn't need sleep. His thoughts were running at 1050
miles per minute and he was fairly sure that his driving was keeping up
with it. He was awake. Completely awake, and enjoying the free open road.
Or he would have been, if the lights didn't keep blending into one, and
then... disappearing... and was it just him, or did the steering wheel keep
getting closer? Whoo, but things were fine. Things were perfect. Everything
was under control.
"Lance."
Okay, maybe Chris wasn't asleep. Lance swore that someone said his name,
and he thought it was Chris, but maybe he was wrong. Everything seemed so
far away.
"Lance, pull over. Lance, you're falling asleep. Pull over, man."
He wasn't falling asleep. He wasn't. The world faded again, and he swore
out loud. Okay, maybe he was falling asleep. He shook himself awake, and
looked desperately for an exit off the highway. There was an exit just
ahead, and he took it.
"Pull over at this gas station, Lance. I wanna get some cigarettes,
anyway."
"You don't smoke."
Christ, was his voice that slurred? How long had he been awake, anyway? He
pulled over at the gas station, and parked the car. Chris sort of
half-smiled at him. "Normally I don't, but I just went through a break-up,
and I'm kind of rattled." He reached back to get the money out of Lance's
wallet. Lance really didn't mind, since they were stuck on this trip
together, he had adopted a community resources policy anyways. Just this
morning, he had borrowed Chris's travel mouthwash, so he figured it was a
fair trade. He stumbled his way over to the passenger's side, and flopped
into the seat. He was tired, but for some reason it seemed like now that he
should sleep, he couldn't. That was the way it always worked,
though. Murphy's was the law to live by in his life.
Chris returned just a few minutes later, and he took over the helm. Lance
watched him with a smile. He looked better, rested, and even more at ease
then he had been before. Somehow, even while Chris fumbled with the
cigarette and lighter, he still seemed to be relaxed. Lance wished he could
get that ease that Chris had, that calm that seemed to pervade even Chris's
most hyper moments. Chris knew where he was going, what he was doing. Lance
always felt like he was playing catch-up, trying to keep up. And, oh boy
was he ever up now. As Chris pulled the beat-up convertible out into the
street, Lance reached for the pack of cigarettes, and Chris surrendered
them without question.
"Just don't fall asleep with that in your hand, man, I don't want to have
to try to douse my band mate with... the warm remainder of a bottle of
Mountain Dew."
Lance laughed at that, and rolled down his window so that he could ash out
the window. "Don't worry about it. I'm wired now."
Chris gave him another nonchalant grin. "It always works like that, doesn't
it? When you don't want to sleep, you can, but when you want to, it
suddenly becomes impossible. It's almost like... like when you're in a
relationship a long way away from each other."
"What?" Chris was losing him now, with odd leaps of logic. Chris had an
odd, jumpy way of thinking and living life, and it always lost
Lance. Thankfully Chris usually went back to explain what he meant.
"Like, in Dani's and my relationship, it always seemed like, near the end
at least, that when we were together, we couldn't mesh right. It didn't
feel right. When we were far apart from one another, it was magic. Maybe I
should have known then that we were falling apart."
Lance took another drag off his cig. The smoke was flowing through his
body, relaxing him, but at the same time it seemed to keep his mind in that
same hyper-daze it was before. "You know, she didn't break up with me. I
think I kind of broke up with her."
"How do you kind of break up with someone?"
"I ran out on her."
Lance blinked, absorbing the information for a few seconds, and then he
chuckled. "That would probably do it, yes. Is that why you didn't have any
of your stuff?"
"Yep." Chris smiled at him almost approvingly. "She told me that I called
out someone else's name during... well, you know. She thinks I'm in love
with someone else."
"Wow. That's... shit, Chris." Lance took a long drag. He rarely smoked,
just like the rest of the guys, it was more of a
last-wits-if-I-have-to-have-something bad habit. He didn't even really like
it that much; it just felt appropriate to share this with Chris right
now. He really wanted to know Chris; he wanted to bridge the gap with this
man. He didn't know why, but it was a very persuasive drive right now. To
understand, to help, to know. "Are you?"
"I... I think I am." Chris voice had died down, to a very soft, intimate
voice then. He was staring reflectively out at the road. It was one of
those perfect moments, those moments where everything might not be good, or
even great but you somehow have the understanding, the feeling that it was
a defined, correct moment in the universe. The stars were aligned, he was
where he was supposed to be, his heart was beating in time with the
universe, and he was breathing. He was breathing.
"Well, who is she? Melinda? That girl Terry that Joey introduced you to?"
"Nah, man. You wouldn't expect this."
"If you tell me you called out Lynn Harless's name, I just might have to
get out of the car, Chris."
That one line fell flat in the silence of the car, for just a few
seconds. Then, Chris laughed. He kept laughing, almost harder then Lance
had ever seen him laugh before. It was a wonderful sound, deep and
contagious. Soon they were both laughing so hard that tears were falling
from their eyes, and Chris almost had to pull the car off into the
meridian. "That...was horrible, Lance. I loved it."
Lance loved it, too, just like he loved-- Oh, no. Oh hell no, Not
again. Lance was not going to do the pining-for-a-band-mate thing again. He
had pined for JC once, but the boy was so straight that it hurt, and it did
hurt. Unrequited love always hurt, and Lance wasn't going to do it
again. He just skirted the topic quickly. "So, do I know this girl?"
"Well... heh. Yeah."
"She nice?"
"Funny. Funny person."
"Oh yeah? Well, you're funny, so you two would probably be perfect for each
other."
Chris took one last long drag, and chucked the last of the cigarette out
the window. "We probably would, if we ever got together. Very, very shy,
though. Well, not shy really, once you're acquainted with each other. More
reserved. I don't think it could ever happen."
"How do you know if you don't ask her?"
"It's... kind of hard. I kind of... we haven't always gotten along. I
wasn't the most genial person when we first met and there's always this
tension between us, but lately, I've just wanted to go over and flip the
tension around. Like... magnets, you know?"
God, Lance could have sworn Chris was describing them. He wasn't that
lucky, though, and he knew that. "Like going from repelling each other to
attracting?"
"Yes! Exactly." Chris looked at him then, and Lance could have sworn that
Chris's gaze was even more intense then ever. He felt like he was being
searched, like Chris was looking for something in his eyes. He was probably
looking to see if Lance was laughing at him, which he wasn't -- far from
it. Lance just gave him a gentle smile and waited for him to continue. "We
could just be so perfect together if we ever got started. You know?"
Lance threw his own cigarette out of the window then, and looked once at
Chris's driving form. "Yeah, Chris. I know exactly what you mean."