Many television viewers worldwide have been confused by the vast amount of military terminology, slogans, and acronyms being utilized in reporting on the ongoing war against Iraq being waged by the United States and Britain. As a service to these news watchers, the following Iraq War Dictionary has been compiled.

"Shock and Awe"–Title of Iraqi resistance strategy, intended to "shock" invading American and British troops and "awe" them with their unexpected ferocity

Operation Iraqi Liberation–alternative name of US military action, but dropped from consideration because of obvious implication of acronym (OIL)

"Imbedded with"–term used to describe primarily Western reporters traveling with American and British troops; can be used interchangeably with "in bed with"

Decapitation strike–term used to describe how Iraqi civilians are being liberated (refer to very graphic pictures at al-jazeera)

Enemy Combatants: Term used by Iraqi Information Minister Muhammad Al-Sahaf to describe American POWs in attempt to justify their (mis)treatment by comparing them to Johnny Walker Lindh and Guantanamo Bay prisoners, thereby relieving Iraq of need to abide by Geneva Convention

Dud–informal nickname of CNN anchor Paula Zahn; synonym–empty shell

MIA–new acronym for the Arab Leaque

"Between Iraq and a Hard Place"–Term used to describe current position of Coalition troops in the Middle East

CNN–Controlled News Network

Air Jordan–Pentagon’s term for available airspace corridors provided by this kingdom

Food for Oil Program–What American troops are offering starving residents of Basra and southern Iraq: "We’ll give you food if you give us your oil."

Drone–Pentagon code word for CNN anchors Aaron Brown and Wolf Blitzer

Fratricide–military term used for soldiers killing other soldiers; also applicable to official Arab stance on the war on Iraq

AWOL–another acronym for the Arab League (Arabs WithOut Leadership)

Fictitious–(1) Michael Moore’s description of US presidency; (2) In the Middle East, term used to describe "Arab unity"

Sandstorm–obstacle in US forces’ attempt to defeat "sand niggers" in Iraq; alternatively, according to US Central Command, "heinous act of terrorism by God" MRE–(1) formally, military term used to describe soldiers’ rations (Meals Ready-to-Eat); (2) informally, military term used to describe coalition enemies (Muslims Ready for Extermination)

Al-Fallah (translation-"the peasant")-crude Iraqi anti-aircraft weapon-used to down Apache helicopters; not to be confused with Al-Samud missiles; Al-Fallah was not declared to UN Weapons Inspector Hans Blix by Iraqi leadership)

Irregulars-Pentagon term for constipated recruits

Objective Reporting-term used to describe over-dramatic reporting of flak-jacket and gas-mask-clad, gleeful correspondents when US bombs strike their "objectives"