Posts Tagged ‘Funeral’

I know it sounds like a strange question, but so often I sit with people who, when asked about funeral arrangements and what would their loved one want, have no ideas at all. Then they have the extra hassle, in the midst of a challenging time, of so many decisions to make about these issues. Such as buried or cremated, what type of coffin, music, type of service, songs? Why can't we plan for such a significant event? It will be the final expression of who you are and what you stood for in your life, so maybe that warrants putting in some time and thought about what you want. Everyone says to me, "well I don't care, I won't be there … its really about the people who are left behind".

Well, if it is about them, then make it easier on them and let them know what you would prefer.

For example, you might be the one person who is left with the decision about whether your friend, sibling, or mother/father would prefer to be cremated or buried? Do they want a religious service or not? What songs would best suit them or the one they would most like? We are so often left with these questions, at a time when we are vulnerable and grieving, to make in a rather quick fashion, during a rather busy time. Those of you who have been through this know what I mean, I suspect.

What would you like to be wearing when you go to your rest? I think I would like to be wearing the clothes that best typify who I am. I think this is important. If someone put me in a black dress in my coffin I wouldn't be very happy. A funeral service, and other related matters, require a considered congruency with who that person is/was. I get told that the reason people want to access my services as a funeral celebrant is because I had met and gotten to know the person who had died. I knew them and this is what is often so important. Rather than some impersonal service that doesn't match or honour the person who has died.

So make it easy on your friends and family. Go to my web page under funerals and down load the funeral planning sheet and fill it out, either alone or with a loved one.

Have fun with it. People often don't realise what can be included these days. You have many options and possibilities for creativity. Lots of people now are doing much of it themselves, and this is possible. Your friend or family member can be cremated straight away, and then you could have a personalised, quiet, or fun, and creative ceremony of your choice (with the ashes present). These ceremonies are so important to us and can hold much symbolism and meaning, and potential for healing our grief and finding new meaning in life.

And if you would like an informal, out in nature perhaps, type of ceremony or something a bit different, or a ceremony that really fits who you are, then give me a call/email.

As sure as we are living and breathing, so too we will die and stop breathing. There is nothing more surer than that.