Have you ever wondered who actually listens to those songs they play on pop country radio? Here are the six primary Archetypes, or as Music Row refers to them, the “target demographics” that make up the audience of the pop country world.

Affliction T-Shirt “New Outlaw” Doucher

Affliction T-shirt, designer jeans with embroidery on the ass pockets, he is the bulls-eye on Music Row’s “New Outlaw” target demographic. Those rips in his jeans didn’t come from running barbed wire, but a 70-year-old Laotian woman working at an Armani factory making .36 cents an hour. On UFC stats and Brantley Gilbert lyrics, he’s a expert. He thinks Blackberry Smoke is an underground country band, and he shaves his testicles so his panty-cut underwear won’t chafe. He likes to listen to laundry list country songs about dirt roads and old pickup trucks, but his idea of “roughing it” is not dousing himself in Axe body spray before hitting his suburb’s corporate country bar. If he was a woman, then yes, he would douche. No effort is spared to prove how tough he is, but in an actual physical confrontation, he’ll fold like a paper tiger. He wants to show you his tribal tattoo.

Bored Suburban Soccer Mom

The wacky morning crew at her Top 40 Clear Channel country radio station feels like family. She volunteers at the megachurch. She nicknamed her 2010 Mercury Mountaineer “Betsy”, her vibrator “Trace Adkins”, and thinks her life is perfect (though her cocktail of anti-depressents tell a different story). She thinks Tim McGraw’s plastic hat is sexy, and cries every single time that sappy Martina McBride cancer song comes on the air. Her kids are named “Hannah” and “Bryson”. She wished her daughter was more receptive to Taylor Swift’s message, but instead her daughter is obsessed with Jason Aldean’s butt. This year is going to be the year she’s finally going to figure out how to make some money on Etsy from her scrapbooking ideas. She posts pictures of her feet on Facebook.

Glitter-Faced Pop Country Girl

Oh my God she SO likes all of country music, including Lady Antebellum, The Band Perry, AND Thompson Square! She even likes classic country… like Tim McGraw. “Oh my God that song he has about that girl and guy and someone’s trying to kill them and the guy is all ‘Don’t take the girl’ and I’m all ‘That’s so sweet!!!'”. Her mom wishes she was more receptive to Taylor Swift, but she’s more obsessed with Jason Aldean’s butt. She wants to be a pop star, but her dad is just hoping he can keep her off the pole come her 18th birthday. She likes to put on glitterface and lip sync Carrie Underwood into a shampoo bottle in front of the bathroom mirror in her jammies. Her and her mom are Music Row’s last source of revenue because they’re too ditsy to understand how to steal music.

Red-Blooded ‘Merican

He can’t wait for Armageddon to come so he can start mowing down brown skins unilaterally, and justify that $5,000 purchase of a 10,ooo-watt generator last summer. You’re damn right he likes Toby Keith, and you know what, that Aaron Lewis guy from Stained ain’t bad neither. He truly believes Al-Queda could invade at any time, and that Abu down at the dry cleaners in town probably did time at Gitmo. He swears he knew the Dixie Chicks were commies way before everyone else did, but he had the plump one sign his Stetson in Sharpie in 2001 (he keeps it hidden in the bottom shelf of his gun safe). He’ll shoot at you if any portion of your tire touches his property line when you’re making a U-turn out on the highway, and if you’re one of them towel-heads, he’ll shoot to kill. He still thinks Garth-era printed button up collared shirts are hip, and that if you have more than 2 inches of hair growth anywhere on your head, you’re clearly a homosexual.

Priestly Pop Country Porcupine

Hair highlights, frosted tips, hyper image conscious, he’ll prove to you just how cool Christianity can be by getting the 10 Commandments tramp stamped on the small of his back. His idol is Keith Urban, and he so wants Gary LeVox’s hair. Similar to the “New Outlaw Doucher”, but he trades in the tribal designs for Gothic crosses, and doesn’t limit the manscaping to just the crotch region. He broke his chastity pledge once, but that’s OK because Jesus loves him. He doesn’t know how it is to go to a church that isn’t conducted in an auditorium and has a Starbucks and Chili’s Too in the east wing. He has every subtle change to all three members of Rascal Flatt’s hair designs saved on a thumb drive just in case his computer crashes. The embroidery on his designer pearl snap shirts incorporates glitter. He’s thanks God he doesn’t have to interface with ugly people very often.

Overweight Country Rapper

Morbidly obese, woefully unemployed, and draped in whatever his local Wal-Mart stocks in XXXL, he thinks he’s a gangster, but instead he’s just a fat loser land locked in a small town in America’s breadbasket. Colt Ford is his hero, and Yelawolf is the only one who really understands him. He got a title loan on his 1992 Grand Am so he could get a tattoo of an alien smoking a joint on his neck. He would move to a bigger city, but he doesn’t have the gas money to even make it to the county seat, and besides, the real gangsters would kick his ass within 5 minutes. He likes to snort Dr. Scholls foot powder and pretend it’s cocaine because he can’t afford meth. He knows a guy in LA that he sent his demo to, and once he hits it big, he’s getting the hell out of this town and buying a set of spinning rims for his mom. He knocked up some girl that works at Dairy Queen just so he could bitch to his friends about his baby mama drama. His problems are everyone else’s fault.

UPDATE****UPDATE****UPDATE****

OK, I would contend that this 7th Archetype is actually a subset or derivative of the “Red Blooded ‘Merican” or the “Affliction T-Shirt ‘New Outlaw’ Doucher”, but I am bowing to public pressure and adding one more. I hope you approve.

The Windshield Cowboy

Sporting an always brand spanking new 1 ton pickup truck with a diesel engine and dually tires, he needs this heavy equipment as a middle management quality control paper pusher in a cubicle farm located in white flight Suburbia. He’d like you to think he owns a farm, but a farmers wage wouldn’t even pay his truck’s interest. His yearly gas bill equals the gross domestic product of Myanmar. He’s shining his chrome rims while his children and wife are ignored. He listens to songs about dirt roads, but’ll be damned if he takes his baby off the blacktop and gets a brush scratch in the paint. He wants you to think he’s country, but Nickelback comes up as “Most Played” on his iTouch. He once hauled a 10 lb bag of potting soil in his truck. Afterwards he immediately sprayed down the beadliner and buffed the paint for 3 hours. He’ll never do that again, but he will haul his equally pristine bass boat, four wheeler, and fifth wheel travel trailer with it, all that he bought to offset his misery. He works 60 hours a week to pay for it all, but is two months from bankruptcy. Deep inside he feels trapped and desperate, but that’s OK because his truck kicks ass. He’s under the impression you can take your material possessions with you to Heaven and tried to write that stipulation into his truck’s two year lease. No, he will not help you move next weekend, he has to wash his truck.

HAHAHA! Thanks for spreading holiday cheer! And for making me grateful that there’s no country music radio station up here (they”™d only play this crap anyway). We definitely have our share of freaks and weirdos, but we”™re blissfully spared of those above.

good stuff, mang. merry christmas. i’m hoping santa brings me one of those ‘merican shirts and a 1,000 rounds of ammo. hopefully, some of it belted. dr. scholl’s foot powder you say? hmmmm. see ya at wally’s mart.

Last night I was shopping at Kohl’s and this awful whiny sound started up on the speakers and it was Rascal Flatts trying to sing “I’ll be home for Christmas.” Couldn’t hear it clearly enough to know who it was but my daughter knew it was them. Some songs should be left alone.

307- your mom has to answer for that, keep your head up and just control what you can, i.e. steer clear of Affliction shirts and pre-ripped bill of cap hats.

Affliction shirts- get a the fucking tatoos if you wanna look that way.
Ripped/distressed jeans- work for a living, don’t just look like you work for a living. Of course some of those jeans are $300, so unless you work for a real good living, you’re not buying them anyway.

Aldeans ripped wranglers…what a fucking joke. Funny, didn’t see any of those being worn at the NFR or PBR.

Lol this is perfect. The “New Outlaw Affliction Doucher” describes about every Brantley Gilbert and Justin Moore fan I’ve ever met. I think one you could add for the Red Blooded ‘Merican (the younger ones at least) is that he posts a picture of everything he shoots or catches on Facebook so the whole world knows how country he is. Great work.

You forgot the “wannabe redneck”- One who thinks he’s redneck who comes from a middle upper class suburban family, drives a brand new 2011 Ford f-150 with a Browning decal, has 1000s of dollars worth of hunting gear and hunts on an expensive hunting lease, wears carhart even though they clearly arn’t blue collar and most of them end up going to expensive universities, they wear hollister/abercrombie, and wear diamond earings with their cowboy boots.

In addition I don’t think the new underground country like Hank III is really country either. How is satanism and heavy drug use country? Those aren’t traditional country values.

I would put that as a subset of the “Affliction T-Shirt “New Outlaw” Doucher” or maybe even the “Red Blooded ‘Merican” but you’re right, there’s a lot of those folks as well.

Hank3 has said many times he’s not a Satanist and that he doesn’t use as many drugs as people think, or that his music implies. He also said himself his last album wasn’t very country. But turn about is fair play, and you might see another list like this in the coming weeks if inspiration hits me. This is more about “pop” country archetypes, not “not” country archetypes.

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed this much while reading one of your articles, it’s so funny because it’s SO TRUE! I’m a 20 year old woman and I see so many “glitter faced pop country girls” that it’s disgusting! I’m proud to know what REAL country is. So glad I found your website a few months ago! It gives me hope that people will realize the truth about “country” music! Keep up the great work Triggerman!

This list is great. You wanna know where “Pop-Country Music City” is, just come up to MN sometime, between the new “Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar” that opened last year in Minneapolis, which I haven’t set foot in, and (take your pick) Chesney, Urban, Rascal Flatts, Paisley coming through on tour every other week followed by Sugarland, Lady A-wful, and Aldean on the other weeks…

you forgot about one group.

The reitred male that doesn’t know what to do nor care.
He was a fan of true country. Ray Price, Geroge Jones, Loretta,…
Doesn’t matter where he grew up or where he has retired to, he still has a favorite local band that is getting up there in years, so gigs are limited, but still sees them once or twice a year at a local bar not overrun by a corporate chain.
He watches local cable run country music shows, where Bobby Bare might stop in and The Marty Stuart Show is broadcast.
He doesn’t frequent the internet, so underground is non-exsistant to him, but does have satellite radio…it doesn’t leave the station “Willie’s Place”, ever.

But when he turns the radio on in the car he is lost? When he watches the CMA/ACM’s you can see a yearning in his face for the past, but he some how fits his musical enjoyment into Zac Brown… and can at least tell his grandkids, I like that band, although he isn’t sure why.

He road trips every 2-4 years to Branson and with that trip will catch a George Strait show somewhere in the middle of the country. His wife would kill their 4 adult children and 8 grandkids to be with Strait.

He watches American Idol with the wife, that just loves the Scotty McCreary types, but deep down he vomits in his stomach and prays he never has to go to a Scotty show.
However, Easton Corbin is playing at the casino next weekend, they got free tickets, and are going. He heard an Easton song in the car once, kind of sounds like George Strait… right???

Rather than put up a fuss, at his age he has learned there is no reason to fuss…he swallows dignity and doesn’t mind a Sugarland and Lady A. They are “entertaining” for his grandkids.

BUT also at his age, he has seen cycles. This pop country has had what seems like a long endless run, but it is part of a cycle. He knows it will end…after all, when he was at the Merle show last month, Merle had a new guy with him…name was ?????

funny stuff. i’m an old retired guy. i don’t care either. i know what to do but my imagination is limited by my bank account. only thing playing on my car radio is the current old CD i’m obsessing over. some of which get a 3 or 4 month run. don’t listen to any radio other than sports talk on occasion. never been to branson and have no intention of ever going. american idol? what’s that? there’s a country music TV channel? really? last concert i went to was a couple of years ago. etta james and tower of power. not name dropping just a fact. my next concert? fuck if i know. wouldn’t surprise me if i never went to another. yeah, old retired guy. ain’t life grand?

Duluke, you’re correct, I mis-spoke, I meant that there is a country music theatre/show on RFD TV out of rurual MN. That is kind of how I stumbled on it.
Generally the commercials are all local too, and the channel it is on, is out of rural MN town. RFD TV as a whole, is not based out of that small MN town.

I think you forgot the Country Hipster who thinks he is real country and nobody else is unless they like the same artists as him. He also puts down everything popular but still holds onto his favorite bands as being underground when they were signed to major labels. He follows Hank III blindly and thinks that everything he says is gospel, much to the dismay of Hank himself.

1) The ex-metal head: Used to be in a struggling punk or metal band, and Hank Sr. and Johnny Cash have always been some of his biggest influences. He picked up a mandolin, and never looked back. Usually will be seen at shows wearing ripped black jeans, and a leather vest, both covered in patches from bands like Hank3, Slayer, and the Misfits. Will also be wearing either duct taped cowboy boots with jeans tucked inside of them. Look for the guy trying to start a mosh pit during Hank3’s Country Heroes.
2) The Real Country Fan: Only listens to real country music, and he is not afraid to tell you about it. He like Hank Sr and Hank3, but considers Jr a sell out and a hack. He talks about liking the old stuff, but probably can’t list more than 3 Willie Nelson or Waylon Jennings songs. He only listens to new underground bands that you’ve probably never heard of (they’re pretty obscure). He will quickly dismiss anything and everything that gets radio play, so Jamey Johnson is out. Will be seen frequently slugging warm PBRs at concerts.

-Thinks anyone that has gotten a college education (is going to college, went to college a few years, thinking of going to college, lives by a college, or has looked at a college building) can’t possibly understand what true country music is.

A happy homelife, career and relationships are something that a true country music fan can’t experience and balance.

Finally, if you have ever tapped your toe to a country song played on top 40 radio, post Garth, or God forbid you actually penned a tune that didn’t shake the country music world and change the landscape but was just a song to make people laugh and it screamed up the charts, you are the satan of country music and can never live it down.

That should be a good read and I look forward to it. You are right it is not a pop country archetype, but it is grown out of a deep disdain for pop country so they are connected in my eyes. They spend so much time complaining about pop country and how they hate everything about it that you never know what they actually DO like.

Hahahaha, country hipsters are hilarious! Never thought of them that way, but come to think of it in that terminology, there are a fuck ton of them. At least they’re not as shitty as the assholes on this list.

One reason there is a list like this is not only country music, but other music, has become 100% image, not the music.

Guys like Aldean and Gilbert have to have the image and drop names in their songs cause they don’t have any real grasp on the history of country music. I don’t know them, but I have no problem saying that, as it is clear by their image and songs they sing, how they sing them.
I am actually surprsied Gilbert dropped Chris LeDoux’s name in the song, because I bet my life 99% of his fans don’t have a clue who LeDoux is/was before he name dropped it.

It just is a “spoon feed me” image and lyrics fan base. They don’t want to think about anything or look deep into anything. That is not all of society, but that is the fan base of 15-25yr. olds focus…. tell me what to wear, what to listen to, who you think is cool and I will think they are cool.

Take for example a song like Vince Gill wrote about Merle Haggard. And Vince may not be all that popular on this site (most likely for lack of knowledge of Vince, it works both ways), but he has serious country music credit, knows his history, and is extremely talented, and has been shut out by mainstream because he isn’t a pretty face and is more clever than candy coated songs.

Anyway, one of many songs that is shoved aside, Vince’s song “Real Mean Bottle” is about Merle. It is a kick ass song about Merle. Cleverly written, good music, etc… But Vince doesn’t name drop Merle in the song, ever. Vince didn’t try to act or dress like Merle when he wrote and cut the song. He wrote it out of true tribute. There is depth to it and you have to do more than listen to the first 30seconds of it to learn it is about Merle.
There are many songs that pay this type of classy tribute without the name drop, I just chose this one since I was listening to it the other day.

This name dropping shit is just the music that has to fill the space between photo shoots for these “Affliction” and “True Religion” jean models that call themselves country singers.

You’re right. Other problem is they all want to be Waylon, but they don’t much about Waylon. They just know he was voted #1 Outlaw on some CMT list and they have this somewhat mis-understood idea of him being a law breaking bad ass. It is somewhat sad Waylon is not around to set some things straight, but in other ways an immortal tribute to him that shows how timeless he was with his approach.

When you listen to them, they all “grew up” on Waylon … you’re right, they truly don’t know much about him. I guess if you dress like him and take his stance on stage .. maybe buy a guitar that looks like his … that’s all it takes to be a #1 Outlaw … Waylon will ALWAYS be #1 … and his passing still makes me sad after all these years.

I know what you mean about still sad at his passing. I myself never was lucky enough to see Waylon live, but I was at Willie’s July 4th Picnic this past July and seeing Willie, Ray Price, Coe, Shaver, Ray Benson, Ray Wylie, just made me think how Waylon should still be here. But in some sense he is, but not in the sense of I wanted to enjoy a cold beer on a bar stool watching Waylon on stage.

*** I’ll tell you though, watching Jamey Johnson at the picnic, I’m not going to say its like watching a ghost of Waylon, but there is something different going on there. Hard to pinpoint it, but it’s the ghosts like Hank and Waylon coming through as well as living legends like Jones and Merle, all in one.

im reading alot about 17-25 age base im 20 and i know who johnny cash is i know who DAC is i know who waylon jennings is i know who johnny paycheck is and i know who willie nelson is i can list more then 3 songs for all of them and i know the lyrics what i dont understand is why do you think all teens are about there image of the music is , i do kinow there are tons of people like that but there are a few who just like the old outlaw music like me. now i understand if u think o hes just a rich brat that mommy and daddy pay for everything but thats not the case with the people i chill with and me .

Bushy, you are correct, people certainly shouldn’t paint every 17-25 yr. old with the same brush, but that is how it is. That is a stereotype/archetype. Generalizing, which I think Trigger was trying to do here.

That is how big business, not just music business, does things. They try to figure out the “stereotype/archetype” of the population and give them what they want hoping to attract the majority.

I don’t think it is wrong for Trigger to have put up these archetypes. They are probably very similar to what heads of the big record labels look at when they decide who to put the money behind.

I never try to stereotype people based on how much money they have or don’t have because we all want a more and a lot of money. Some have it some don’t, but we generally all want more, how we get it and what we do with it is to each his own. I am yet to meet someone that accuses someone of doing something for money, that wouldn’t want to have more money themself. Again, how you get it, is different, but the goal is the same… wanting more money. How much is enough, again, a different discussion.
So whether you have money or don’t, I think you can still like music like Waylon, Paycheck, etc…
I don’t think money has anything to do with the pop-country archetype.

Good article. You described the pop country archetypes accurately with one exception. The sentence “Her mom wishes she was more receptive to Taylor Swift” in your description of the glitter-faced pop country girl is off the mark. The glitter-faced pop country girl wears a Taylor Swift T-shirt, has a Taylor Swift poster in her bedroom, has all her albums, knows the words to all her songs, and keeps a sparkly dress around to wear to Taylor’s next show. I can’t believe you left out the Swifties in a list of six pop country fan types. Most pop country fans are female. I think the glitter-faced pop country girl and the bored suburban soccer mom account for about 70% of pop country’s audience.

Dude, you nailed it! I work at a country bar and I see these people all the time. Except, you forgot about the crazy college girl, or country girl who is ready to destroy cars, kill Earl, and participate in random acts of arson all because her boyfriend dumped her ass. And they really do believe Miranda Lambert wrote that song about them and their torturous love affairs,and that it speaks to them.

Have you ever thought that some, well actually the majority, of country music fans and listeners actually like the sounds of modern country? I enjoy all country from classic traditional to the soul/rock/pop infusions of country we hear today. It just seems so arrogant for you to say that because people don’t like your kind of country sound that they are wrong or somehow less intelligent. While your stereo types are funny and do describe many country fans today ( my 25 year old self included in a few of those ) they are also a very surface look. Why try and blame us for not growing up in a holler, or not coming from a struggling farm or actually letting the sounds of country grow? Anyone who passes the age of 5 can relate to a song about hardship or trials of life. The songs today are relatable to us. I enjoy listening to old country to see how life was for them, how they felt and wrote and sang about it. That is all current artists and songwriters are doing today, but because they look a certain way that you don’t like they are wrong? I am sure that some of the people you worship in country were once called too “new” or different from what was played before them by older people who couldn’t let go of the past. Would you fit in one of “our” stereo type lists of another ” know it all, anti anything popular, I define country and what it should be for all people, spend way too much time online and probably not enough on hygiene and I only shave every leap year” stereo type? Please don’t thnk I am saying you are not personally hygenic, but it’s just the type of person I meet usually accompanied by your views. All I am saying is why try and define what country is for us all, and bash the people that are keeping it alive on the charts and not just in a bar somewhere. You certainly have a right to listen to and believe what you like, but so do I. Yes me, a 25 year old Christian who likes her Carrie and Miranda and Taylors concerts in my cowboy boots and dress, can like whoever I do and feel no shame. Because I don’t think people like Patsy or Loretta or Kitty or June would have felt bad either. Also last note, are you aware of the melting pot that even began country/folk/western music? Between the British and Irish immigrants and the African-Americans of the day where it started, country has grown to many sounds. And I like them all. And I, along with millions of others I am sure, see not a thing wrong with it.

Katie, I understand many of your concerns, and believe it or not, agree with most of them. And believe it or not, this article was really not meant to be a shot at anyone, it was just a way to create a chuckle. And to prove it was all in good fun, and that I don’t think I or anyone else is better than any of the Archetypes presented here, I made a follow up list of 6 “Other” country archetypes, where folks more likely to frequent a site like this, and specifically myself, were lampooned. People who can’t let go of the past, or hate anything immediately because it is popular were specifically singled out. You should read it:

Ha! That is too funny. I appreciate the humor and level playing field that the new list provides. Coming from a huge fan of country music today and someone hoping to break in to that scene, your alter stereo types are spot on! I will say after reading more of your stuff that it seems you do try and give credit where you feel it’s due. And after seeing some new names on this site I have some new people to check out and listen too. I think we all just want good music, it’s just our definitions of “good” that make the difference I suppose. Very funny follow up though. Now it’s time for some Carrie Underwood to enter my ears 🙂

you forgot another archetypes, the hick that knows two johnny cash songs and thinks he knows classic country, real country, he says he wouldn’t be caught dead listening to lady a or keith urban or rascal flatts but when hes alone he can sing every word to every song, his hero is eric church who thinks he is not mainstream pop country, hes never herd of hank, and thinks he him self is an outlaw

Thank u Triggerman….well said …I just turned 60 yesterday..and yes an old fart…I am not a country music fan persay but I am a major Muddy roots fan…..always liked bluegrass all my life …then I accidently saw 357 life sting band play at a car show years ago and it was a life changing event….now I live on roots playlists and silent storm radio….IBWIP brings a list of hosts to the table…Its all about the disrespect of “old farts and geezers”…totaly stolen and disrespect….It is so hard for these starving artist to git there talent out with things the way they are….anyway Thanks again Trigger…well done