As you know, Internet, I usually don't write about awards given to me.

I love my awards. I really do. And I hang them proudly up over on my awards page, which you can get to from right over there in my sidebar. And I am so grateful to anyone who thinks of me and takes their precious time to award my little ole' blog.

I don't post them because number one, I get kind of embarrassed over things like that. Heck, I get embarrassed when I get a birthday present from anyone unless it's my Hubby and then I'm just thinking, "Please don't let this be another bustier. When is he going to realize no matter how much he wants me to, I am not going to dress like a prostitute. Well . . . at least not to church."

But, also I don't post them because then you're supposed to award someone else and I can never do that because I love each of my bloggy friends all so very much for so many reasons, that it would be like someone asking me to pick my favorite kid. And that choice, really, just depends on the day of the week and who's pissing me off the most and who's bringing me a glass of wine.

Shell is a great blogger. I love her because even though her blog is entitled, Things I Can't Say, she says those things with grace and charm and kindness. And in these days of blogging, way too many of them filled with harsh drama, she is a breath of sweet, lovely air.

I was at her blog yesterday and she posted an award she'd received and as soon as I saw this award, I started speed reading, praying, "Shell, please pick me, please pick ME!"

So, I was super excited when I got to the end and found out I did win.

And so did everyone else.

It's kind of like winning a People's Choice Award.

But, that's totally cool because I love this award so very much for two reasons.

It involves naked Barbies in erotic positions and it involves boys.

And those are two of my favorite things in the whole wide world. Well, and there's Doritos on my pizza, but I don't have any interesting stories about that. I just like to put Doritos on my pizza. The end.

Here's the award:

Isn't that just the best!

So, now I am supposed to name five characters that I would do the above Barbie pose with. It is not about the actors themselves, but the characters they portray.

My first thought was: Only 5?

It didn't stipulate tv or movies, but since the little tv watching I do is primarily reality shows, that wouldn't work. Although, I do find that Tom Colicchio, the head judge from Top Chef to be rather yummy.

So, here in no certain order are my character picks from the movies.

Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. I don't think there's much explanation needed here. Johnny Depp as a pirate? Hello. My first words would be after meeting him, "Do you like the lights on or off? I'll do whatever."

And then, there's Gerard Butler as Gerry in, "P.S. I Love You." Because that kissing scene, the one where he gives Hillary Swank their first kiss, made me weak in the knees and made me love him forever.

Men, take note: Kissing is EVERYTHING in girl world. And that kiss, it rates up there with one of the best of all time.

When Hillary Swank is babbling about an old boyfriend right before Gerry is about to kiss her and Gerry cuts her off, saying, "He's a boy-o. He doesn't know anything about kissing. That's a man's business" in that fine Irish accent and then swoops in for this, this just amazing kiss, I swear on the ghosts of my Irish ancestors if I could have, I would have crashed through the TV screen and grabbed the back of Hilary Swank's big old horse head, yanked her out of there and daintily hopped into her place, saying, "Okay, Gerry, where were we?"

Which by the way, I'd like to veer off subject for a moment. Hillary Swank as Holly in that movie was a case of plain awful casting. She is not romantic leading lady material. I don't mean to be rude. She's a great actress and all, but she just doesn't fit the role of beautiful, carefree girl who Harry Connick, Jr, (gorgeous New Orleans boy hunk), Gerard Butler (hunky hunk) and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (hot man hunk) all would fall head over heels in love with. I just don't buy it.

She's more of a girl boxer who gets paralyzed in a fight and then has her Clint Eastwood coach kill her, kind of actress.

No offense, but it's just the way it is.

You gotta see this kiss, Internet. Head on over here. All the videos of this scene that I could find have disabled their embedding by request, so just click the little clicky. It just takes the effort of one finger. It's worth it, trust me.

My next one would be, Mark, the photographer, in the movie, "Love Actually"—one of the best movies of all time, by the way.

Mark is in love with Juliet who has just recently married his best friend. To cover up his love, he treats Juliet with a great deal of disdain and is never very nice to her. In fact, Juliet can't understand why he doesn't like her. But then, Juliet discovers a wedding video Mark made of their wedding. As she watches it she is astonished to see the whole tape is closeups of her. Mark runs away in embarrassment. He then shows up at her door on Christmas Eve with a stack of cardboard signs and a CD player. As he plays some Christmas music, he silently holds up the signs one by one, professing her love for her. He says a bunch of stuff, but the main gist of it is, "At Christmas time you tell the truth" . . . "Without hope or agenda" . . . "To me, you are perfect."

Oh, well here. Just go over here and watch for yourself. (Embedding disabled, again.) It's like a minute.

If some gorgeous boy with an English accent showed up on my door with such a sweeping, grand, romantic gesture, I would have yelled into the house at my hubby sprawled in front of the TV, "Gotta run out for milk. If I'm not back for awhile, you know like a day or two, have a Merry Christmas . . . honey." And then I would have jumped into that boy's arms and just, well, yeah.

Aidan Quinn as Johnny Rourke in the movie, "Restless". Aidan Quinn has been one of my rrrrowww favorite actors since the day I set eyes upon his gorgeous face, which was this movie, one of his firsts. He plays the rebel boy, punk outcast who falls in love with the good girl, head cheerleader Daryl Hannah.

First, it's because I have always had a weakness for wild boys. And once again, it goes back to the kissing. When he kissed Daryl Hannah in that movie, I said, "Now there's a boy who knows how to kiss." I wanted to be the one on the back of his motorcycle and vandalizing the high school as a couple. Although, not really. I'd be too scared of committing a crime. I'd be all, "You go ahead and vent your tortured soul all over that high school. I'll just stay here and be the lookout. But wait! Kiss me first."

Robert Downey, Jr as Tony Starke the Iron Man. Umm, a hot, rich, wild powerful man who turns into a superhero at night, what else is there? A superhero with a fantastic sense of humor about the whole ridiculous fact that he's a superhero, is just my kind of man.

If I were Pepper, I'd be coming to work in my shortest skirts and push up bras, constantly looking for chances to brush up against his superhero chest. And I certainly wouldn't call Tony Starke out on sexual harassment. I'd walk into work every day and say, "I'm here! Let the harassing begin, Iron Man!"

Okay and then we have number 6, because you know there was no way I could stop at 5 men, right?

Top honors would go to Bono as Dr. Robert in "Across The Universe". When Dr. Robert asks everyone to hop aboard his magical bus, I would say, "Hey, Bono. I mean, Dr. Robert, does this bus have one of those rock and roll waterbeds in the back? You wanna show it to me?"

All right, I'm done, for now, making an ass out of myself.

Now, comes the last part of the award.

I bestow the naked Barbie award on each and everyone of you. And I want to hear your top 5's because this is more adolescent and incredibly more fun than my girlhood favorite game of mash.

So, let me hear it. And Chicken, David Thorne does not count. He's a blogger and he's real. At least, as far as we know.

So go ahead and make your own ass of yourself and let me know when you've done it, either in blog form or in the comments. I can't wait to see the fun. And don't forget to take your Copulating Barbie award with you.

Oh, and just a little bit of Blogger business. If you've posted a comment with me recently and don't see it, please don't be offended. Yesterday, I had 3 or 4 really lovely comments waiting for approval. When I hit publish, there was this error reading and then they just disappeared. So, yeah. Blogger and me, we're just not friends. I'm watchin you, Blogger. I know when I'm being jacked. And you can just bite me.Yeah Blogger, I'm talkin' to you!

ooooh fun. I can't wait. Technically, DavidThorne (that's what I'm calling him now, I've decided, DavidThorne, all one word), anyway, DavidThorne does, in fact, count Joann, because he lives in another country. Check rule 56, sub 3A of the Erotic Barbie Blog award and you will see that real live people can, in fact, be chosen if they live in another country. Now, whether or not your husband will be happy to hear about that is a decision you will all have to make on an individual basis. My husband doesn't read my blog so I'm good.

3 - Luke Perry in the original 90210 (My most embarrassing secret? I DVR the show every day from Soapnet. I know.)http://www.schoollibraryjournal.com/articles/blog/1790000379/20090116/luke-perry-20070325-230933.jpg

4 - George Clooney as Dr. Doug Ross in ER. George Clooney as anyone, actually.http://dailyblabber.ivillage.com/entertainment/georgeclooneyER.jpg

5 - Josh Holloway as Sawyer on Lost. This one needs no explanation.http://norhymeorreason.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/josh-holloway.jpg

Hi Joann - I can't do a post on this topic this week, even though it is a great one as I've committed to a few other things already but here's my list:

1. Johnny Depp as Captain Sparrow2. Johnny Depp - just pick a movie3. Johnny Depp - just pick any movie4. Johnny Depp - just pick any movie5. Orlando Bloom as Legolas in Lord Of The Rings - I somehow found him very sexy with long blond hair and a bow and arrow in hand, but otherwise not so much

Apparently rumor has it My Johnny Depp is going to star in a film version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - if that means he plays Blomqvist then that will go straight to number one on my list. Oh my, I will have to go and see that on opening night....

Oh my gosh! I love this award, this post...just everything! I am definitely gong to do this soon. I WILL have to copy Captain Jack, because...well, because it's JOHNNY DEPP! Gonna have to think about he rest....maybe Bradley Cooper in The Hangover. Love a bad boy.

OMG You had me at Gerard Butler who is sofa king fine and that accent is to do the nasty for, in anyway he might possibly want to do it. And Hillary Swank totally sucks as a leading lady but she is good at dying. And OMFG Mark from Love Actually is so adorable but the one that I really would love to shag is the writer in the movie, can't remember his name but he proposed to his maid. Also, and I hate to admit this after the whole Divine Brown thing but, Hugh Grant just does it for me. I went to London back when I was much younger and fell in love with a bloke who looked and acted just like Hugh Grant's characters. I broke it off because I had these stupid things called morals. Dumbass. He is now a bazillionaire living in TX. Did I blow that or what? I don't know how many but the last one isn't a movie but a music video. Dennis Quaid in Bonnie Riatt's video Something to Talk About. The smile on that boys face just melts me.

Oh and I so have your back with Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark. Again, dark handsome and funny.

Lastly, conflicted, Matthew Macfadyen in Pride and Prejudice. Not that I really think he's anything to look at but honey, once he gets over his starched collar silent, snooty I can't talk to you thang...the way he professes his love in actions and words...that, right there, is a major saaaawoooon.

Keep reading more of your blog as I have time and LOVE it! I tried to change my settings on my profile to show email. Did it work? I had no idea. If not I would love for you to email response as you normally do, I am still just learning the ropes of this whole blogging thing and had no idea about the settings :)

Love Actually!!!! Woot! I could easily make a list. Easily. And my husband wouldn't be surprised because I've started to subscribe to the belief that if he can moan over chicks he sees on tv, I can talk out my ogling. And that is that.

To me, You are Perfect. Swoon! That should be an Award! And it would make me cryyyy. "Oh I am what I am, I do what I want, but IIIIIIII won't cryyyy."Yeah, that's some Love Actually Mark's scene soundtrack for ya because me and the movie are close like that.

I am not good at thinking off the top of my head. I am sure that during the 5th inning of the second of Emily's double headers tonight I will just say some random actor and laugh out loud and then Tyler will look at me weird like he normally does when i think of things 7 hours after I need them.

I love that award. I love that pose and I have to say, we have done similar things over here with dolls and teddy bears. We are bad people.