Category: Lessons

2 Corinthians 1:20 For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.

Have you ever wondered what it means to be “In Him”? You have heard in church sermons and teachings that there are incomparable great rewards of being in Him. “If you only believe, the flood of the glorious riches from the Lord will gush out to you,” the preacher exhorts. And you thought to yourself, “What are these glorious riches of being in Him? I want to experience it.” Amazingly apostle Paul, through the insights from the Holy Spirit, understood our need. As he penned the book of Ephesians, he focused much on the power and great riches of being in Christ. Below is a short list of verses about the glorious riches of Christ’s promises to us from this powerful book of the Bible:

In Him – we are chosen to be holy and blameless in His sight.1:4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.

In Him – we have redemption and forgiveness of sins.1:7-8 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding

In Him – we are chosen to be His.1:11-12 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.

In Him – we are marked with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.1:13-14 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession–to the praise of his glory.

In Him – we receive power, the incomparable great power of the resurrection.1:18-20 I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms,

In Him – we become the body of Christ, the holy temple in the Lord.2:21-22 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

In Him – we may approach God with freedom and confidence.3:12 In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

In Him – we will do immeasurably more3:20-21 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

In Him – we are taught the truth.4:21 Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.

A good relationship is not based on “chemistry” or infatuation or “feeling good”. Rather it is based on love put into actions. Here are three keys to a good relationship:

Learn to meet the other person’s core emotional needs according to the way the other person needs it, and not according to how we think the other person’s needs should be met. Acts 20:35 says it is more blessed to give than to receive.

Resolve all conflicts with gentleness, calmness, and love even when it is hard and painful. Anger adds on a secondary fuel to further ignite the pain of the conflict. Resolve them quickly by learning to speak the truth in love with kindness. Unresolved conflicts leave roots of bitterness, which becomes the seed of falling out of love. Ephesians 4:25-27 shows us a clue to Satan’s sword, which is bitterness. Bitterness is the tool that Satan uses to slowly poison our hearts with hidden hurts that eventually destroy loving relationships.

Deal with our own sins, schemas, fears, and guilt, which hinders us from the willingness to give love by meeting the other core emotional needs, and to resolve conflicts and hurts in our hearts. Avoidance to repent of our own issues is the all too easy way to escape from temporary pain. This avoidance, however, leads to regrets which doubles up our pain in the long run. Romans 7:14-25 says that it is so hard for us to be willing to change even when we want to. Only through Christ and obeying His words can we be truly free from this bondage of sin and shame.

“For lack of guidance a nation falls, but many advisers make victory sure.” Proverbs 11:14

Have you ever felt that your leadership does not matter? Have you ever wondered if mentoring is important? Have you questioned yourself if it is a waste of time guiding others and providing a safe group for them to talk. After all, your mind tells you that people grow by themselves. It is the individual that makes the effort to grow.

So wrong! Your presence does matter. Yes, it is up to the individual to make his own effort to grow. But every individual will eventually hit his limit. There is only so much one person can do. But when you add in a mentor, a coach, a leader, a facilitator, and a safe group, something happens. Relational energy transpires. We see it in sports: A talented athlete breaks through his personal barriers through the training of his coach. We see it in schools: an underachieving student excels through the support of his teacher. We see it in business: a company’s profit goes up with a synergised team.

Your presence and Godly leadership with your group is crucial for growth. Additionally, the participation of your members as safe advisers to each other further fuels one another’s growth.

As the scripture says, “…many advisers make victory sure.” Take it from the greatest Mentor of all. Your presence matters.

He said to David, “Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?” And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. (1 Samuel 17:43)

I started to read a book given to me, “David and Goliath” by Malcolm Gladwell. Great book with illuminative insights on how to overcome giants with sticks. Even from the beginning, chapter one is filled with insights –

Goliath is not always the giant he seems to be. He too has his weak spots. Use your strengths, exploit his weaknesses, have the courage to fight differently, forget the standardized methods, and most importantly- have attitude. Even giants can fall. People might laugh at your unorthodox methods. Using sticks to fight giants is unorthodox. Yet sticks overcame the giant, Goliath.

What are your Goliaths, standing tall and seemingly terrifyingly against your life? Remember, they are not always the giants that they seem to be. If used well, sticks can overcome giants.

Not talking about strong feelings doesn’t make them go away; in fact, they become more pronounced in our attempts to live as though they don’t exist. The two people in this kind of relationship try to get along by skirting issues, their emotions, and ultimately their deep love for each other, and they end up with a shell of a relationship. (Quote from Cloud and Townsend).

Let us learn to have caring confrontation and emphatic conversation in your marriage, parenting, and friendships, so that your relationships can heal, grow, and be even more intimate. Relationships can heal.

Youths sharing what they learned from the bible during the Dec 2016 Y2Y Changi Aloha Retreat in Singapore. Three videos – Group 1, 2, and 3. Sharing is in chinese language. I appreciate their courage. Some of them were as young as 12 years old. But they shared with convictions.

Philippians 2:12-13. Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

There is a saying, “Time heals all.” Time doesn’t heal all. It heals some but buries most. As it states in the verse above, we must actively work out our issues as in doing physical therapy for an injury. The word salvation in this verse could mean both salvation as in going to heaven or ‘salvation’ as in healing from our life’s hurts and problems. God saves us not only for our future glorious eternal life, but He also saves us in this present life on earth by healing in our minds and hearts.

When physical injuries come, to heal completely we need physical therapy. Leaving the injury alone, we will not fully heal. Instead, it will only result in stiffening the joints and muscles. When emotional injuries happen, to heal we too must have emotional growth therapy and resolve the internal conflicts. If not, our emotional “joints and muscles” will stiffen and it will be even more painful when we need to use those emotional “joints and muscles” in the future. This emotional stiffening could be a reason why some find it harder to face anxieties, worries, fears, anger, sadness, and other unpleasant emotions. By avoiding, burying, or over-controlling these feelings and emotional pains, rather than resolving them, we make them inflexible. Thus, the pain remains.

Some ideas for our emotional workout for healing:

Be willing to have the pain. Let go of the struggle to avoid or control your pain.

My thoughts about leadership (this is not my political views or about politics):

Trump won the election. Many people felt shocked and amazed. I too am amazed. The future will only tell what Trump will do in America – good or bad. But I asked myself, “Is there something to be learned from this shocking news about what people want in leadership, which could apply to us.” Why did the US people choose Trump with all his character flaws?

In the many theories that the experts put forward, one stood out the most. It speaks of the heart and emotional needs of the people.

“Trump listened to the American people, the working class.”

“He remembered the forgotten men and women of America, the working class.”

“The Democrats and the left “have given up/abandoned/lost touch with the working class.”

Is there something we can learn as we lead our churches? Are we in touch with our “working class” people and their needs in our churches? Do they feel listened to, cared for, and loved? Do we hear their pain? Or are we, like the Democrats, think we are meeting their needs, or assumed they are fine when they are actually hurting inside.

This is something to ponder – the needs of the “working class” as Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 12:21-16 – the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honourable we bestow the greater honour.

There is a danger of being too busy and not being able to hear the voice of the “working class” in our churches. If we slow down just for a moment, have a meal with them like Jesus, perhaps just perhaps we will see something different that we have never seen before.

When you feel emotional pain, it is because you care. We do not hurt about things or people that are not important to us. So when you do things to shut down or avoid your pain, you will slowly shut down what your heart desires. Take a moment, and listen to your pain. What is it telling you that you desire? Listen to it carefully or you might miss something important for you.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

John already had a bad week last week – his business project was not doing well and he had an unresolved fight with his wife.

Lay Your Burdens Down

He woke up late, didn’t want to wake up because he was moody. So he was in a rush, anxious that he will be late for work. He was afraid of being scolded by his boss again. So he decided to skip his time with God. He rationalized that he will pray later when he is free.

His wife prepared a nice breakfast to try to make up with John. But John was anxious to rush to leave. His wife felt unappreciated and became angry with him for not eating her breakfast that she specially prepared for him. They had a heated argument in the kitchen. With the conflict still unresolved, John left the house in a frustration.

He went down to his car but his car had a flat tyre. He became more frustrated and kicked the tyre. Now because of his flat tyre he is definitely going to be late to work.

He arrived at work, 30 minutes late. He tried to explain to his boss but his boss only corrected him more. He felt depressed and not understood.

At work, the whole day he couldn’t fully concentrate at his job because he was still angry towards his wife, his car, and his boss. His subordinate came to discuss the project with him. But his subordinate forgot to finish the presentation for the project that is to be presented later that afternoon. Already filled with stress and bitterness from the morning argument with his wife, flat tire, and being scolded by his boss, he lashed out and yelled at his subordinates that she is lazy and stupid. His subordinate went away crying because of his harsh criticism. Later that day, after he got his composure, he felt guilty for making his subordinate cry. He apologized but he felt shameful for what he had done.

On his way home, he stopped by a park to think and rest. Tired as he was, he then tried to pray remembering that he missed his quiet time that morning and he had to fulfil his daily commitment time with God. He had to be a good Christian. But his thoughts kept drifting away to all the burdens and troubles that he had and created. He just couldn’t feel connected with God. After less than a few minutes, he gave up trying to pray, and went away feeling even more guilty and burdened.

Little did he know, all day long, God was waiting and walking by John’s side for John to “Come to Him, give Him all John’s worries and burdens, and God will give John rest. God is gentle and humble in heart, and God wants John and you to find rest for your soul.”