The Friendship Experience

By: Andrea Gagliano, Foster Undergraduate

When I first got to Manchester, I was meeting so many great people every day. You start off continually meeting so many great people. Then everything settles in. People get into their routine. The British resort back to their long-time friends. The weather gets kind of dreary and rainy. You hear what your friends back home are doing, and you wonder why you left this great life you had at home. I really began to question how I ever made close friends. Not just friends to do activities with, but close, comfortable friendships that make a place feel like home. I was really missing this piece of life and wanted to go back to it. I was homesick.

I was really good at asking someone their name, having a small talk conversation with them, and going to a football game with them, but I was struggling with how to take that next step to being comfortable with them. How to avoid the awkward dinner parties, or pauses in conversation on walks to class? And the truth is, there is no magic trick or strategy. The only thing that helps with this is time and persistence. It took continually hanging out with people until you break that barrier.

Although the friend making experience was a bit of a roller coaster and quite frustrating at times, the rewards in the end were so worthwhile. My heart has been heavy this week, two months after returning to Seattle, because I miss the great friendships I made. In the process, I learned that I don’t need to have super close friends near to me at all times. I’ve realized that I don’t need to hold back in moving to a new location or going someplace where I don’t know anyone because those friendships will come. Going through this process of knowing no one to finding close ones is absolutely invaluable.