8.02.2011

Hey Augustana!

Augustana College

Does anyone else get constantly hounded by their college alma mater to donate money? I get something in the mail at least once a week. I find that excessive.I went to Augustana College in Rock Island, Illinois.The “Harvard of the Midwest” is what they call themselves. Which is not true for a lot of reasons. One being that I got in.

Augustana really needs to rethink their fundraising efforts. For example – know your audience Isn’t that what they teach in their business classes? I wouldn’t know. I switched my business major to the highly regarded major of “Communication.” – A classic major. What intrigued me was I could learn different types of communication styles. That, and I had recently failed Accounting.

Why are you hounding me to donate Augustana?!!! Know your audience! My profession consists of writing about very dumb things on a very dumb blog.How much $ do you think that makes? Surely, I have more successful classmates that you can be reaching out to. Like the engineering people – I’d try them. They sound rich. Or even the religion majors. They’re probably poor too but much more charitable.

Even if I had money to donate to Augustana, I’d still have a hard time writing a check to the current President, Mr. Balls. No joke! President Steven C. Balls is his name. It’s actually spelled “Bahls” but still! I’m not making out a check to someone with the last name of Balls. Which, being a Communication major, I know is a “passive” style of communication.

See? Can you read that? It says "Balls."

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This is a picture of me while a student at Augustana College. My friends decided to put written communication on my forehead which I did not appreciate.

THE END

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