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It's the perfect time of year for gingerbread cookies, but what do you do with all that excess ginger? Well, maybe put it in a horse's butt? No, no, don't do that. But some people do. All that and more on this week's history of ginger. Show notes

It's our first episode as all dads, and it's kind of a club banger? Like, you can probably chalk that up to the sleepless delirium that two of the three of us are undergoing, but maybe it's just a manifestation of that good, good lifelong responsibility.

Well, now Griffin had a baby too. Listen, we've heard all the jokes already, so let us just save you some time: The McElroy Brothers can't stop procreating. We get it. Ha-ha. Anyway, here's another greatest hits episode, we hope you like it half as much as we like MAKING BABIES.

"Hey, you! Come over here! Wanna tell you about something important. One time, about ten years back, I did play a Street Fighter. And it filled me with a terrible rage. A real fury. Went outside, sun blinding my eyes -- and I'll be damned if I didn't start doing a Street Fight, right then and there. Got this scar, right here, above my nose. See it? Anyways, here's my homemade Kingdom Hearts fan zine."

During these frightening times, most of us are probably looking for a place where we can be free from oppression and worry altogether. In today's episode, we believe we've discovered that very place: The Honorable Laser Tag Arena.

We know tensions are high right now, and the last thing we want is for our weekly goof parade to add to that. So, this week, we've charted a course to chill-ass waters as part of the MBMBaM Anxiety-Free Cruise. Come on board! There's plenty of cabins available.

We're one brother short this week, because -- get this -- Travis is a dad! He's on a break for a bit, so we're keeping the good ship MBMBaM afloat in his absence with this best-of episode. There's some good stuff in the 20 episodes included, although "consistent audio quality" is unfortunately not one of them.

It is time that we throw off the tyranny of our fast food oppressors and begin to truly, finally Have It Our Way. Our campaign will be a brutal one, but once our liberty is secure, well -- bah dah bah-bah-bah, We're Lovin' It.

This episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me is so dang educational, you will feel like you just completed a full two year college-level program by the time we reach the Final Yahoo. Listen with a hungry mind, but also, with a thirsty soul.

Now that we're technically television experts, we're going to spend a lot more time talking about how that delicious TV sausage gets made. Did you know most characters you see on television shows are just famous people who are reading their words off of a script? Sorry to pull the rug out from under you like that.

We're very happy to be back in the loving embrace of our Original Broadcasting Medium, Podcasts -- mostly because making television is, scientifically speaking, the most difficult job that a person can have. See, in podcasts, you can just talk about Kazaam for like 20 minutes, and boy, that's an episode. Cut and print.

Suggested talking points: TV Exhaustion, AirBnBuddies, The Secret of the Bees, Never Been Pineapple'd, Shaq Beverages

This is the last episode the three of us had to record all in the same room, and boy, you can just hear the elation in our voices. Gaze into the mirror with us, as we peer into the Equestriverse and see which celebrities are trapped within!

The TV Business has all of us feeling about as tired of each other and ourselves as we can get — which is why this episode is mostly us eschewing comedy altogether in favor of the development of the BEST GAME EVER MADE. Grab your friends and put the kids to bed: It’s time for Which One Vapes?!

We’re all together in Huntington, making a television show, which is pretty great. One caveat: One of us is dissolving at the molecular level, which has thrown a REAL MONKEY WRENCH into production. A real “Snafu,” as we like to say in the showbiz industry.

Everyone loves the song "The Gambler," by songsmith Kenny Rogers -- and if anyone says otherwise, they're a LIAR -- but did you know how many advanced poker strategies are tucked away in the lyrical folds and grooves of that tune? Well, you will know, by the end of this episode. Oh boy, do we make sure of that.

Another summer has come and gone without receiving the Once and Future Summer Jam, which is, of course, the sequel to Bob Carlisle's "Butterfly Kisses." WHERE'S THE HEAT, CARLISLE? We're ready, Bob, for the heat.

Suggested talking points: Drop That BK2, Sandwich Guy's Gift, The Karate Dog, A Bonanza in My Can, My Favorite Star Wars, The Three Radio Voices That There Are

This is not the episode you want to listen to if you're hoping to renew your faith in humanity. Each of the boys lost something dear in the week leading up to this recording, but none so much as Justin, who lost the act of love itself.

Hey everybody! Get your parents to fill out this form, and pay the one-time $1,100 application fee, and you too can join the MBMBaM Summer Club! We've got all the amenities and classes you could ever need to fully squeeze all the enjoyment out of this hot, hot season. So do our special guestperts for this episode, Jake and Amir!

We're back from Boston and ready to answer some old, stale-ass questions we left lying around the studio. Seriously, this joint would be haunted by the stench of our neglected egg-mess, if not for the positive spiritual energy projected by our own personal Craig T. Nelson.

Here's our live show from the Wilbur Theater in beautiful Boston, MA! We talk a lot about Pokemon Go in this episode, which is only appropriate, because one out of the three of us was also playing Pokemon Go basically the whole time we were on stage.

Welcome to the 311th episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me! We're going to celebrate this special occasion by talking about our favorite Reggae-Nu Metal fusion band, and also by chatting with LEGENDARY AUTHOR AND MASTER OF THE QUILL Patrick Rothfuss about dad stuff! It's quite a mish-mash of conversation topics.

Happy Birthday, America! We got you another episode, but you have to share it with everyone. Also, you should not enjoy the last 10 minutes at a family bar-b-q without headphones. It gets pretty blue America! Enjoy!

Our RSS news feed is an absolute garbage pile right now, so we spent most of this episode talking about the one shining, brilliant light in the darkness: Ray Donovan. Welcome back, Ray: You're here right when we needed you most.

We're back after our post-live show recording hiatus, which explains why we spend the first, oh, six minutes of this podcast just saying the word "Daddies" over and over again. Celebrate some dads with us! All those good daddies.

We're coming to you live from the Playstation Theatre in New York, NY! We assume that you, like our live audience, are "horny for this"! Along with being a great episode, it features a big announcement and special guest John Hodgman with a very special presentation!

Here's a live performance from The Lincoln Theatre, in beautiful, humid Washington D.C.! Join us for a lengthy discussion on soupy gooses, a perplexing audience question about random acts of tap shoes and, of course, the live debut of MUNCH SQUAD.

This episode's just full of heapin' helpin's of that good old down-home wisdom -- the kind that just warms up yer bones and renews your spirit, right when you need it. It's sagely as heck. Dig on into a plateful of grateful.

We're excited to announce that we are going to win next year's Eurovision Song Contest! Our triumph is written in the stars. Our plan of attack is undefeatable: Opulent Gowns, Key Changes and So, So Much Spinning. Prepare to be DAZZLED.

This may be a difficult transition for y'all, but we need you to scoop up all your old DVDs of Kung Fu Panda 3, and throw them right into the incinerator. We're on to Captain America: Civil War-Watch, y'all.

This is it: The end of an era. In this episode, we put the opening chapter of the MBMBaM experience behind us. Join us for a deep gaze into the TIME PORTAL, where all possible podcast futures will be revealed.

Happy belated April Fools' Day everyone! That's when we recorded this episode, and hoo boy, apparently our prank on you is that we have prepared an episode that discusses, to an obsessive degree, Julius Caesar's ancient gastrointestinal distress.

THANKS FOR THE MONEY CHUMPS. You thought all that was going to help support the podcast you're about to listen to? No way - we just needed some seed money to launch our heart's true passion: A Podcast about renovating people's showers against their will. Welcome to: Shower Boys: Episode One.

It's the second week of the MaxFunDrive, and our second week of reviving some of your favorite classic bits from MBMBaMs past. One small problem: We kind of ran out of bits. We're getting more conceptual this time around, meaning: It's time for some serious pony chat.

AWWWW DUNK. It's MaxFunDrive time! We're kicking off a two-week celebration of your generosity with this an episode that's just, like, chock-full of pandering. By which we mean we revive all of our classic bits, some of which were dead for very good reasons.

After a rocky, inscrutable start, this episode starts to tackle some heady subjects. Like, for instance, whether or not it's possible to cook and safely consume dorm furniture. Also, how sick it would be to kick it in the 11th century.

Bliss Delight returns to the studio after a few weeks spent traveling the Ethersphere and kicking it on Earth Jr. for a bit. We've only got about an hour of studio time before the next metamorphosis, so let's get this thing on wax.

Everybody said it would never happen -- that America hadn't done anything good enough to deserve a third installment in the Kung Fu Panda saga. And they're all right: We don' t deserve Kung Fu Panda 3, but we got it anyway. And because of this gift, we have something to talk about for the first ten minutes of our podcast.

We're glad that the subject matters addressed in this episode are coming at this point in our careers, because we're not sure we would have been equipped to handle them four years ago. Like: Sleep Jeans? SLEEP JEANS? JEANS FOR SLEEPING?

It's really hard for the three of us to get together and record a solid hour-or-so of comedy audio without our robotic assistants barging into the studio. We apologize for their automated, synthetic rudeness.

Listen, it's our own fault, really. We teased that coyote with the promise of warmth and familial love, which are a coyote's two most favorite things. Feeding him that sweet 'ched probably didn't help things, either.

Suggested talking points: Bliss Delight, Get That Surprise, Meme Scene, Elderly Bank Robbery, Kyle: A Movie About Being a Good Dad and Good Human

There's a lot more to the Home Alone series than slapstick home defense and Tim Curry's pronunciation of the word "pizza." Like, a lot more. Some dark stuff, too -- and it all exists within the confines of Justin's pseudo-canonical thriller fiction.

We're kicking off 20-Fixteen: Building Bridges by providing bespoke advice for some very specific groups of people: Former members of ska bands, grandma pill vendors, sleepyheads and the 12 slimy duplicates of Michael Jordan. All of you: You're welcome.

We are absolutely, undeniably on that Christmas Creep -- but who's gonna be the lucky individual who gets to reverse-burglarize our homes this December the 25th? Find out in our exciting, fresh new reality series.

We think that we've got our finger on the pulse of the wants and needs our audience has for the show. At least, we hope we do, because we took a good look at y'all and said, "This, this is an audience that wants to hear us argue about horses in Quantum Leap for 20 minutes."

Sorry this one's a bit late, but the first few minutes should shed some light onto the circumstances that kept you waiting. Um ... if you're not into DIGESTIVE BODY HORROR, maybe skip those few minutes, and take our word for it.

The Podcast Krampus done got us again, but good. We lost half an episode to his insatiable maw, but we managed to produce another half-episode to make up for it. Better luck next time, Podcast Krampus, you absolute dingleberry.

This episode is the spookpocalypse. You can listen to it if you want, but we can’t be held responsible for the frights, chills and spills that come next. We will tap into fear-centers that you didn’t even know you had up in your brain. We’re the kings of Halloween, and your timid hearts are our domain.

We're so excited to be back in the MBMBaM saddle, but before we get started with the goofs, we want to talk to you about an exciting cosmetic business opportunity. Tell us, how skilled are you at working that hallway like a runway?

Oh no! All the hosts of all the podcasts on Maximum Fun done got ate up by a twister, and ended up landing in each other's podcasts this week! We didn't let inclement weather slow us down, though -- we're just going to go on ahead and do the podcasts where we ended up. That means this episode of MBMBaM features MaxFun proprietor Jesse Thorn, Wham Bam Pow co-host Rhea Butcher and International Waters host Dave Holmes, who are here to talk about corn mazes, blood moon demon babies and, naturally, ghosts.

If you're looking for the McElroy brothers this week, it looks like the tornado set them gently down into the studio of Jordan, Jesse Go!

This week, Middlest Brother Travis is flying solo so it’s time once again for another Bro’s Better, Bro’s Best! We’ve got some real humdingers in here including Dworp, Forever Pope, Cake Boss and a bunch more! Enjoy!

Wake us up when September ends, y'all. We've gone done overbooked ourselves a bit, leading to the careful crafting of this dog-tired episode. It gets a bit bleak at times, but just keep on chewing. We'll get through this thing together!

In our first-ever international performance, we give the fine denizens of Vancouver our very best. We also detail the many, many ways that we've screwed up the baseline level stuff you need to know to be in Canada, because we are idiot children.

In our first-ever international performance, we give the fine denizens of Vancouver our very best. We also detail the many, many ways that we've screwed up the baseline level stuff you need to know to be in Canada, because we are idiot children.

Take up your enchanted blade and wooden boxing gloves, and come with us on a dangerous voyage into the untouched corners of the internet. We can't guarantee your safety, but we can guarantee your horror.

Multi-platinum, GRAMMY-nominated singer-songwriter Carly Rae Jepsen will release her new album, E·MO·TION via Schoolboy Records/Interscope on August 21st in the U.S. The album will be available for pre-order from all retailers beginning June 23rd. Those who pre-order will receive instant downloads of "I Really Like You," "All That," and the title track, "Emotion." Fans will also be able to purchase the album as part of exclusive bundles that include special art prints, t-shirt designs and more.

Suggested talking points: Best single's from Carley Rae Jepsen's new album, E·MO·TION, ka is like a wheel, risk it for the biscuit, speakcheesy

We'll be the first ones to admit that the title of this episode is pretty unpleasing to the senses. But you need to listen to it, because it's also our most franchisable episode to date, and you don't want to get left behind.

Apologies in advance: We recorded this episode in a hurry, thanks to some chaotic McElroy family travel adventures -- as a result, Travis recorded with the wrong mic. Now, as for the 10 minutes of vamping on the theme song for Wings: We have no excuse for that.

After a long day of toiling for Mr. Bossman, there's one name in the world of entertainment you can count on to chase away the blues: McELROY! The world's favorite chuckle brothers are back with some of their dearest friends with an all new special sure to brighten your day and turn that frown upside down.

This veritable galaxy of stars has been brought to you by the first name in pizza-based snacking: Totino's, so the brothers thought it only fair to spend 45 minutes talking exclusively about their products.

With the J-Man living in Island Time, we've gone back to the future - and then past again I guess? - to dig up some of our favorite goofs and pranks from the early years of our show. You better watch out, because Crocoswine's a-coming.

So, look. Here's the thing. We prepped all our questions for this episode, but about 10 minutes in, we realized that we just weren't going to do them. So, in this bizarre installment of MBMBaM, we share advice that we wish we could have given our past selves -- important instructions like: Hey, put that bottle of frosted tip gel down. Put it in the garbage, actually.

We started recording this episode moments after the Supreme Court's ruling on gay marriage, which made for some strangely earnest introductory banter. But don't worry: Eventually we get to talking about Pizza Hut wizards.

Happy belated Father's Day to you and yours! Assuming that you and yours are all dads, that is. If that's the case -- do you want to set up a super chill group hang for Swag Dads? We'll take our answer off the air.

We had a really great run, America -- or should we say America 1: Vanilla Edition -- but it's time to spice things up. It's time to be reborn into something more beautiful, more powerful. It's time to Do the Bartman.

We hope you enjoyed the format of the first 250 episodes of My Brother, My Brother and Me, because we just threw that format right in the garbage. Are you ready for the next generation of comedy-advice fusion?

We're done skipping the celebrations of our major podcast moments, like our five-year anniversary, or the hundredth time Justin did a Chilean Miners goof. Join us for a particularly introspective journey this week, and also for a frank discussion about Jackie Chan's romantic potency.

Here's our live episode from Milwaukee, recorded earlier this month. You've probably heard of this episode, because it's the one where everyone in the audience got married to each other. Enjoy listening to us lose our minds!

Please, while you're listening to (and hopefully enjoying) this episode, spare a thought - a prayer, even - for Justin's dry, dry mouth. He's going through a lot right now, specifically with regards to his soda deficiency.

Here's our live show from this past weekend in beautiful Minneapolis! We discussed a lot of important topics, made a lot of really great friends and absolutely, completely fell apart there, towards the end.

With Justin moving to an entirely new residence this week, we've compiled another best-of episode for you to reminisce over. Remember the good times? Remember Skulljockeying? Because, like, we don't remember saying this stuff at all.

We're wrapping up the MaxFunDrive the only way we know how: By talking about Garfield, urinal footwear and sexual reactions to The Flash. If that doesn't deserve your hard-earned dollars, we don't know what will.

Happy MaxFunDrive, everybody! This is our first of two pledge drive episodes, and it's extra-long, meaning we have way more time to talk about haunted dolls and Travis' unhealthy relationship with food. Also: Lenny Kravitz Marinara Breast Milk.

This is an episode you should really tell your friends about! Because, otherwise, in seven days, an otherworldly Ancient God will climb out of your podcasting platform of choice and pull you into a dimension of unimaginable horror.

We hope you've enjoyed our podcast, because during today's episode, the three of us become too insanely rich to continue doing anything that could be considered "work." It's really hard to record a show when you're making it rain 24/7 -- the money keeps hitting the mic.

What an emotional rollercoaster this episode is! From anger about Dude-spread, to inner peace about Wallace Shawn's bedside manner, and then back to anger over Justin's haunted dolls, and then even deeper anger about Beef Nugs, we explore every facet of the human condition.

We're wrapping 20-Forward up RIGHT. Which is to say, we are forgetting the theme of the year completely, because honestly, we didn't do a great job of fulfilling it. Ah, well - onward and upward, into The Grift!

Well, we're here again with our family-friendly episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me, a celebration of our pan-religious, pan-sexual, personal pan holiday, Candlenights. This one was even more special because we recorded it live in Huntington, WV. Enjoy!

Next week, we'll be doing our live Candlenights spectacular from our hometown of Huntington, WV -- our cleanest episode of the year. That means this episode, we're getting real dirty, which is uncomfortable for all of us, especially for special guestspert Bill Corbett.

You can't afford this Nana. I'm sorry - it's just way out of your price range. But with patience, hard work and a little luck, we can turn this busted Nana into the Nana of your dreams! Believe in the brothers.

We're officially on that Christmas Creep, but it looks like the road to this year's festivities is going to be a bumpy one. It's already taken our middlest brother from us - what will Hollywood take next?

This episode isn't exactly a Halloween Spooktacular, but that doesn't mean it's not terrifying. We dip into unconventional horrors, like flushing food down the toilet, as well as the intimate grooming habits of mythological creatures.

We're back! And better than ever! Arguably. Well, okay; we're batting about average. Well, maybe Justin's a little rusty, and Griffin's a bit down, and maybe Travis recorded using an old-timey gramophone. But still - we're back!

Okay, so. Justin's on paternity leave. (Yay, Justin!) That means we're going to be doing some ... experimental stuff up in MBMBaM. Like, for instance, instead of doing the whole advice thing, we played Dungeons and Dragons and recorded it.

We're delighted to welcome author, goat-nurturer and all-around swell human being Elizabeth Gilbert to the show this week. Join us for an erudite discussion on creativity, followed by an even more erudite discussion of Mecha-Alan Rickman's battle capabilities.

Suggested talking points: Car Seats, From the Diaphragm, Wanged on that Nude, Grappling Hook Fitness, B-Sides, A Wax-Covered Rat, Business Pajamas, Life Critic, The Ultimate Battle

We're back with another round up of our "best" bits from the early years. 15 hours of show condensed to an hour of worthwhile material! That's a bargain. Also, get all the details on our upcoming LA show!

Gang, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're the wind beneath our wings, and also the wings themselves. You're also the rest of the plane, or the bird, depending on what kind of wings we're talking about, here.

This episode features a higher-than-average amount of discussion of today's hit television shows, like Mad Men, Game of Thrones and Family Matters. Did you guys know Family Matters lost its GD mind there, towards the end? Because it did, in a big, big way.

Do you know how much we love you? We love you enough to get interested in what you're interested in, assuming that you're interested in Applebee's gift cards, because that's really about as far as we're willing to go.

We know you're probably plum tuckered after the harrowing events of last night's Wrestlemania, which we can all agree was some full-blown BS. As you lick your Brock Lesnar-borne wounds (gross, don't do that), come relax to the chill vibes of our advisings.

What a multimedia extravaganza this episode is: It's our second bonus-length MaxFunDrive 2014 episode, it features an extensive discussion about musical theater with a new guestspert, and it has three part harmonies about ghost horses.

This week features a very special guest: Sick Travis. He's filling in for regular Travis, who's out sick. You might know Sick Travis from his work on the hit podcast My Sick Brother, My Brother and Me, and also from Home Improvement, where he played a series-long recurring character.

Hope you're having a great Monday, everyone! On the off chance that you aren't, we're here to boost your spirits with talk of inevitable death, Christmas shoes and then, for good measure, we ruin a Pixar classic.

This episode finds you, the wasteland survivors, after the ravages of the Big Game have already -- excuse the pun -- touched down. We pray you took the necessary precautions, and that our transmission might bring you some comfort in these trying times.

Just read those suggested talking points. Are you brave enough to face off against this episode? Gird your loins, because it goes off the rails in like, minute two, and it never really gets back on them.

Heartfelt apologies about the audio quality on this week's episode; Griffin's mic was obviously hacked by some sort of anti-advice internet forum. Next week, he'll make sure to 'cast straight from the throatputer, which should prevent these kinds of issues.

We sure hope you've been diligent in your dirt-digging, because 2013 is hours away from being behind us. Don't be scared -- we're here to guide you through the new year with a new, highly brand-able slogan.

It's the most wonderful time of the year as the McElroys bring you their annual pan-faith, no cursing holiday spectacular. Share it with someone you love, share it with someone you want to unnerve, just share it. After all, it's Candlenights.

We know we're a bit late in telling you this, but the McElroy brothers are here for all your turkey-cooking advice needs. Step one: Visualize the turkey. See it in your mind's eye. Taste it with your mind-mouth.

Happy birthday to all three brothers, because all three of them definitely have the same birthday, because really, what kind of parent would give two of their kids the same birthday and then leave the third one out in the cold? CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE PARENTS THAT CRUEL?

Can we just think of Episode 171 as non-canonical? Maybe like, a part of the extended Brotherverse? Between Justin's Tandy 12 and Travis recording inside of an enormous actor's mouth, things are rough, tumble and raw.

Our celebration for the arrival of our Earth's crispest, most autumnal season continues. Grab a pumpkin, a pile of leaves and a pint of cider, and join us as -- Oh, man, that cider's just full of leaves, now. Go ahead and toss that out.

We've got the biggest product announcement of the week for a product that is a phone but is also a tiny dead human. Also, we find a new former celebrity to inexplicably assault because we are broken inside.

Suggested Talking Points: The Legend of Baggy Pants, GuyPhone Stephen, Things We Fucked Up Through History, Don't Ever Touch The Butt, The Mask of Sean Paul

This week's episode is a return to form for MBMBaM, as we explore in-depth the exploits of our favorite TGIF actors, and then talk about Pokemon for 15 straight minutes. (Pokemon is the new Horses/Ghosts.)

Fair warning: This week's episode contains more esoteric references than usual, so we'd recommend Wikipediaing the following subjects before wading in: A Boy and His Blob, Metal Gear, Rick Moranis' Poutine Addiction. (Also, apologies for the audio quality. Travis had to record during a tech rehearsal, meaning he literally is inside a Shop-Vac for the duration of the episode.)

On this week's MBMBaM, Travis incepts a new mammal and we provide some unsolicited dancing tips. Also, we've been drinking, which we never do, but we did it this time, so you get to take that journey with us. Oh! Special guest question!

Suggested talking points: A basement teddy bear that tries to kill you, Lil' Judge Lance Ito, wedding proposal must see like share subscribe with friends, Jeremy the Jackal, David Bowie's butthole, an EMP for boners.

To those of you about to re-enter your educational institutions for another nine months of grueling brain-work: We salute you. We also provide you with a new episode of our podcast, to help get you through those long, sweaty study sessions.

We're rarely correct about most things on this podcast, but we're not sure there's ever been a single episode packed with so many un-truths as the one you're about to listen to. We apologize to all Gluten-sensitive humans and leprosy-infused reindeer in advance.

Our erratic summer schedules made recording impossible this week, but don't fret: We've compiled our favorite bits from the earliest episodes into a one-hour nugget for you to listen to instead. Come, relive the origins of dad-lips-kissing. Take a trip back to the days of the ABBA intro. Remember the headset microphone recording quality, and then try to remember why you started listening to this show in the first place.

We return, refreshed from a week of mixed drinks and dolphin kisses. This episode benefits from that refreshment, as we spend no small amount of time talking about dolphin kisses, which are probably the best kisses imaginable.

We always ask that you share each new episode with a friend, but maybe don't do that for this one if your friend works for the government. Let's just say we've got a very special, very ... manhunted guest.

We're all about forgiveness, this week. Say some bogus stuff about your racist restaurant ideas? Name your child after a cardinal direction? Are you Dog the Bounty Hunter? Come home, prodigal children.

We're sorry for missing last week's episode, but we think you'll agree that the show has improved with one week's rest. Like, this week, we talk enthusiastically about horses. When was the last time we had the energy to do that?

Can you guys even imagine how psyched we were for the Kentucky Derby? This is a day about honoring the best that horsekind has to offer. It's about the cream of the crop among a species that is already cream of the animal crop. Yes, please.

Halfway to 300! Thanks for sticking by us through all the years, gang. We appreciate your unswerving listenership, even when things got kind of hairy. Speaking of which, today we're talking about Randy Quaid sex tips.

It's our first Max Fun Drive 2013 episode! We've got an extra long episode for you this week, featuring a showdown between the McElroys and their longtime rival-in-advice, Dan Savage. Four podcasters enter! All four leave, the best of friends.

Is this episode a day late? Yes. Is it a dollar short? Absolutely not. We'd say it's a dollar richer, since we had an extra day to ruminate on your questions, providing even more potent measures of sweet, sweet wisdom.

It may be Daylight Savings Time, but we wouldn't recommend skipping this particular hour of comedy. Also, we are very tired, and are going back to bed. Enjoy the show.

Suggested talking points: How Was the Dick For You?, A Falcon Attack at Your Wedding, America's Serious Home Videos, Daniel Day Nutchuckles, Get out of here Columbo, A Penis Pump that Plays Chris Gaines, You're the man now dog, Dude, you're getting Adele tickets.

They said it couldn't be done! Who said it? We did. Because two-thirds of us were pretty sick all week, which makes recording a podcast (or sitting upright) a harrowing task. But we love you too much to quit. It's our biggest fault.

Suggested talking points: Throwing DJ Jazzy Jeff, Netflix with John Wayne Gacy, The Rest of the Story, A quiver of dildos, the shenannies, the documentary Jack Frost

After a two-week absence which we assume was as horrifying for you as it was for us, we return with an episode chock-full of pope jokes and doin' it humor. Sometimes in the same breath. It's good to be back.

Did you know that zinc can absolutely wreck you? Did you know that? Zinc will send you to the moon. You will know that by the end of this, our most chemically-altered episode to date. Buckle the hell up.

We apologize for the audio in this week's episode -- not because we all sound bad, but because Justin sounds so good that it makes the other two sound like chumps. Also, we talk about Wienerville for about ten minutes, which probably also constitutes "bad audio."

We're closing out this year with a thorough discussion of what Tom Hanks looks like down there, because we love you, and frankly, we think we're spending a little too much time together. A little separation in 20-Bakers-Doz is just what the doctor ordered.

As with past installments in our annual Candlenights spectacular, we've managed to talk to one another for an entire hour without cursing, so it's good to share with the fam. Well, we actually cursed a lot. But we edited that out.

Suggested talking points: Holiday MagiQuest, A Collander of DVDs, The Buckiverse, Frosty the Homunculus I Made Out of Wet Sand, Book in a Sock, Two Turntables, Tim Curry's Pokemon Treats

We know that this particular episode may seem directionless, even more so than the typical MBMBaM experience. To that criticism, we would respond: Not all who wander are lost. Yeah? Think about that, critic guy.

We suggest you take the proper precautionary measures to fend off the unseasonal chill that's swept this country of ours. Maybe wrap yourself in a Sheetz quilt, or just let us whisper into your ears for 10 uninterrupted minutes.

It is the grandest tradition of all time that, should a new Beverly Hills Chihuahua visit itself upon the world, MBMBaM shall celebrate its arrival. Come to us, brothers and sisters. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Which football team has the best ball-runners? Which quarterback's arm is the hottest? Which catcher's got the stickiest hands? Who's got the drive, the hunger for touchdowns? Tune in for our sage-like Fantasy Footbal Tips.

Summer's coming to a close, but we're still riding high aboard the SS MBMBaM. The boat drinks are flowing, we've got a no-limit charge card at Extreme Restraints and the Republicans are one step closer to realizing our nation's long-held dream of getting a rich dude elected president. These, friends, are the golden years. But can they last?

Suggested talking points: If You Like Romneycoladas, Griffin literally forgets the vice president's name for like five minutes, Slammo Jammo'd, "We've helped literally no one," "Game of Thrones, I finally get it."

Griffin has returned from beautiful Germany and his once luminescent innocence has been replaced by a gnarled core of schnitzel. This week, watch as older brothers Justin and Travis attempt to delve into his psyche and wrest the last spark of humanity buried beneath the thick chitin of jet lag that surrounds his heart. Also: Fart jokes.

Hello, oldest brother Justin McElroy here. I've taken over posting duties from Griffin this week, but I don't really know the things he normally writes. Does he just try to get you excited about it? Cause man, this episode ... it's got, you know, jokes. Jokes for miles. Oh man, the goof to not goof ratio, she's just dizzying.

Suggested talking points: Oh shit, what goes here? Like, the things we talked about? Umm, there was the thing about John Candy and the Jamaican Running Team, Griffin said "straight up Christmas crazy" and then we did the Womenade thing that I mentioned before and ... I don't know, it had lots of jokes.

Things get awfully real in this week's episode. There's really not a plethora of questions, actually: Just a few deep, deep dives into matters of the heart that will likely touch you. Right on the heart.

For this week's episode, we suggest gathering all your loved ones in a room, and then running away from and locking that room, and then listening to the episode as far away from them as you can possibly get.

After a one-week forced sabbatical (thanks, derecho!), we're back and wetter than ever, ready to dole out all manner of advice on subjects we know little to nothing about. Except for derecho survival. We're basically experts on that, now.

What dark forces could have possibly conspired to bring you this episode of MBMBaM? Jetlag likely played an important role, but some of the content is so heinous, Chtulhu's intervention seems like the only likely cause.

This episode probably sports our worst audio quality to date, which we apologize for. We figured that an episode that made it sound like we were screaming at you while covered in bees would be better than no episode at all.

In a continued effort to synergize our product to its maximum potential, we've teamed up with The Avengers this week to bring you the super-est episode of MBMBaM yet. Just don't forget, dear listeners: With terrible advice comes little to no responsibility.

As you spend an hour with us this week, we ask you to reflect about all the hours you've spent with us, and then think about all the partying that you haven't done yet, and then, just, wow, what are you doing?