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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

Preamble

IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

Introduction

WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

Manifesto Demands

THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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Honorary Member of the Who Dey Revolution

February 17, 2011

As pointed out in the comments, add boy bander and Cincinnatian Nick Lachey as another fed up Bengals fan. What isn't clear is if he actually gave up his tickets/suite? Let's hope so. Here is what Nick said in an interview with ESPN's James Walker:

"As Bengal fans, we have endured so much over the past 20-plus seasons, with little in the way of satisfaction. We have paid for a new stadium, signed up for public seat licenses and continued to sell out a stadium for a team that has seldom performed to expectations. I have leased a suite for the past five seasons and commuted back and forth from Los Angeles to watch the team I love, many times flying back feeling as if the joke were on me. My message to the fans in Cincinnati would be this — the power is in our hands. It’s time that, as a fan base, we demand more from the team we so passionately love and support. Cincinnati is a rabid football town and we deserve to have a team that cares about winning as much as we do. As hard as it is, the only way we can show our resolve is to quit blindly supporting the same old dysfunctional, losing cycle that is the Mike Brown Bengals."

That makes all these men Honorary Members of the Who Dey Revolution. If only Al Gore had invented blogging earlier so that La Revolucion could have basked in the warm glow of these letters' warming glow in real time.

Update: Great line from Solomon Wilcots, "Hamilton County has given the Bengals a palatial stadium, representing, in its fullness, the financial windfall and state-of-the-art technology befitting a new-millennium palace. In return, the mega-million dollar investment has been repaid with old-school practices and stubborn ideologies. What is clear to everyone is this formula simply isn’t working. Its tried-and-true failure is made evident by 12 consistent years of fractured hopes and broken dreams."

August 30, 2010

the Bengals clearly misdiagnosed the condition of their centerpiece offseason acquisition

the Bengals didn't really go all out to win for the fans this year and surround Carson Palmer with the weapons he needs by getting TO - they just tried to cover their ass

the Bengals can still be criminally inept with their decision making, allowing Antonio Bryant to practice the first day of training camp and preventing them from using the PUP exemption for his roster spot

Bryant's knee is still so bad and the Bengals are so cheap, they won't even hang onto him to see if he can be a long term solution at WR

Antonio Bryant’s signing ended up being one of the most expensive decisions in the team’s 43 seasons of existence. Without playing a down, Bryant made $6.95 million via a $3.6 million roster bonus, $3.1 million roster bonus which was paid on March 21 and $250,000 for taking part in the team’s offseason workout program.

He could be making even more. Bryant’s agent, Lamont Smith, said that the team did not approach him about an injury settlement and that they would file a grievance to get the $1.55 million in base salary he was slated to make.

That. Is. Fucking. Awesome.

Antonio Bryant took Mike Brown's ass to the bank. For that alone, Antonio Bryant earns himself a spot in the pantheon of Great Revolutionaries. For showing up at a one-day workout and fooling the Bengals Bryant cost Mike Brown and his heirs the equivalent of:

August 25, 2009

Who Dey Josh is a lifelong Bengals fan who like many of us, is sick and tired of the Bengals continous losing, excuses and failure to change. Josh's way to fight back was to get a Bengals Personalized Liscense Plate that reads "HIREGM." Who Dey Josh is a WhoDey Revolution Hero.

Originally from Austin, IN, Who Dey Josh told WDR that his "support, love and admiration for the Cincinnnati Bengals will never change, but I understand that the organization will never get more than 'lucky' every few years until there is change at the top...that is why I purchased the HIREGM license plate, affixed with the Bengals Logo. I wanted to do my small part to let everyone know, not just the people of Cincinnati and its fans, that it is time for a change. Look for me in the Orange Eclipse (go figure right?) and lend your support to me and the great people at the WHODEYREVOLUTION website."

If we all could just be a little more like Josh and fight back against the Brown's ruthless control of the Bengals, maybe, someday, we can all support a winning franchise. But if Bengals fans keep buying tickets and merchandise, nothing will change.

March 04, 2009

Regular commenter Delta5243 brings a wonderful article to our attention. Dayton Daily News staff writer, Sean McClelland, tells it like it is on Bengals' free agency, laying into both the Browns and Bengals in their free agency "moves". While you should read the entire article, here are some of our favorite parts:

Stop the presses! Running back Cedric Benson has re-signed with the Cincinnati Bengals!

WDR commentary: Love the sarcasm. Sure, it'd be worse if Benson was not signed but let's not pretend he wasn't on a team last year that went 4-11-1 and rejoice in the fact that the 2 year, $7 million dollar contract that retained a player (and no, not that one) is our biggest move in free agency.

While it's unfair at this early date to say the Bengals and/or Browns won't be manifestly improved over last season, let's just say it's good that tickets generally sell themselves in NFL cities, because only a buffoon could like what's been taking place with either of these teams.

WDR commentary: Losing our best Wide Receiver, a starting Offensive Tackle and making no new additions sure makes me glad I adhered to Project Mayhem Task #8 and let my season ticket expire. Julius Norman has also amended his jersey rules so you can continue to comply with PM Task #3. I personally will go with a rotation of (a) no Bengals gear, (b) a white Peter Warrick jersey, or (c) a Housh jersey.

January 28, 2009

Do I really have to tell you to make sure you read Paul Daugherty's column in the Enquirer? Go ahead and read it. Read it everytime it graces the pages of the Enquirer and shines light on this pathetic organization.

During the season I heard Doc being interviewed by Dan Patrick and he said that he needs the Bengals to start winning because he is running out of jokes for the Bengals losing. Somehow, he keeps banging out stellar columns, Keep it up Comrade.

January 01, 2009

Dustin Dow from the Enquirer continues to impress, and it's not just because of the feature he wrote on WhoDey Revolution before Christmas. Dow continues to write columns and ask questions, to the ire of Marvin Lewis, that real fans are thinking about. His article on December 28th, titled "Ticket Plight: Renew of Reject?" sheds light on an issue that many fans are facing: Do I continue to blindly throw money at a team that is clearly not prepared to do whatever it takes to win?

As WDR has discussed previously, a confluence of factors mean that Brown is in for a rough offseason, as fans rethink their season tickets and financial support of this team in a struggling economy. Throw in the fact that 2010 could be an uncapped year, the Bengals are in trouble.

This brings us to Rick Brunsman, a suite owner who has an ingenuous idea for how the Bengals can retain their indispensable luxury box owners: make luxury box payments tied to wins. Brunsman wants to pay the Bengals a lower introductory amount and then pay the team a certain amount when they hit specific milestones - a number of wins, a playoff game, etc.

To WDR, this idea is a win-win: season tickets and luxury boxes fail to be a complete sunk cost as fans are forced to pay only when they are satisfied with the product. No longer will fans be blindly throwing money at the team hoping they get lucky and win a few games.

In addition, this idea finally ties the revenue stream for the Bengals directly with the teams performance on the field. Putting in a good effort to try and be competitive will no longer the measuring stick for success. Wins=revenue. You think you would see some big changes if this were the case?

December 22, 2008

WDR has long called TJ Houshmandzadeh "the hardest man in football" because of his attitude and tough play on the field. He plays every Sunday with a fire rarely seen in other Bengals and he doesn't take no jack from any punk CB. And WDR has also been on the record endorsing the Bengals dropping the franchise tag on TJ (and trading Chad for a box of footballs and some ace bandages). And because of the money tied up with Chad, the money that TJ will be
worth on the free agent market and TJ's fearlessness to speak the
truth, it is likely that this Sunday is the last time we will ever see
TJ in a Bengals uniform.

But the reason that TJ is now a proud honorary member of WDR is because he is consistently the only Bengal to speak up about the plight of the Bengals and not do so in a way that is completly self-serving (see above).

According to an article written today by previous WDR member honoree Paul Daugherty, TJ was asked about the significance of winning the Bengals final three games. TJ's response? "'Nothing,' except the satisfaction of knowing hard work had finally paid off."

"Is this team one or two players away from contending?" someone asked.

"Not one or two," Houshmandzadeh said. "Maybe a few, at a few different positions, might be accurate."

God bless you TJ. God bless your deadly rat-tail. Barack Obama's strategy for dealing with Iran is to send TJ Houshmandzadeh (who is part Persian) to speak directly with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. A little TJ smack talk will lead to an immediate surredner.

Just think of we had an owner or a coach (or a GM!) who was actually honest about how far the Bengals are from being a winning team. But instead we will hear about the momentum and how we will be able to draft our way into the Super Bowl. What we need are a few more TJs...

December 15, 2008

An honorary WDR membership is not something that we take lightly. This distinction is only given to the greatest of Americans who display the qualities of heroes, and those that do their part to further the cause of Who Dey Revolution. That being said, two companies deserve the honor for working with WDR to promote Project Mayhem Tasks #5 and #6.

For Task #5, the signs at the Colts game, Centullo Signs, a Fairfield based company, despite a packed production schedule, was able to turn around 30 professional signs with than 24 hours lead time.

For Task #6, the "98-186-1: Get Pissed" urinal cakes, WDR was honored to have worked with Rob at Revenge Products, Inc. Rob's graphics team designed the cake, and it was actually Rob's girlfriend who had the idea to put "Get Pissed" on the cakes.

Revenge Products specializes in "passive revenge." Founded to serve the ex boyfriend/girlfriend market, they work with customers to develop creative ways to deliver a message - from dartboards to Voodo Dools to shooting targets to urinal cakes.