Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

OW (a stranger) trying to be my friend

It's been a year since my H disclosed his affair with a woman he met on craigslist. They had a relationship for about a year and a half. They kept the affair going for months (total lies and deception) even after he disclosed and said he wanted to rebuild our life last August.

After I thought it was finally over, I met with her for coffee. Talked for about 3 hours (had only met her before on short occasions) and thought that it was finally over though found out they still continued to see each other.

What she (and I) didn't realize was that my H was two-timing her with a woman from my office. She found out about this in March. She's decided that she feels sorry for me, as though we have a kinship in being victims of this man (my H) and has tried to develop a friendship with me ever since. Invited me to a weekend retreat for spiritual healing, wants to get together with me and my kids, emails me, invited me to her birthday party.

While I appreciate that perhaps we've both been subject to the sickness of my husband, I just feel weird about it and honestly wish she'd just leave me alone. I feel like any contact with her is just keeping the whole situation in my life somehow. I have not responded back to her at all, just thought she'd get the point that we just aren't in the same worlds. She emailed me last night...I just want her to go away. I feel like any contact will continue contact, even to tell her to go away. I feel like, "hey, wish we could be friends, but there's that sticky part about you screwing my husband..."

I would probably spell it out for her that no you do not share the same experience because you had a committment and a future with him (your H0. She had a relationship with a married man(not sure if she knew) still very different than being married. I don't mean to knit-pick but being betrayed while dating is hurtful but can not be compared to it happening during a marriage which is a lifelong committment and a whole different world all together. I would respectfully let her know that it is painful for you to have contact with her since this was you H. I would add that you appreciated her meeting with you sdo that you could get answers but that there is no viable friendship and her contacting you will only continue the pain. She should then be able to stop... just my two cents... hope it's helpful.

My OW was lied to and for a long time she truly believed she had a future with my ex. This has been proven to be true. I don't hold anything against her for that phase.

But later, when everything was revealed to both of us, she went psycho on me at first. When she realized I don't get intimidated easily, she changed her tactic and tried to befriend me. On the grounds that we're both his victims. I played along for a bit, to see what she would do. The same day that she talked friendly with me, she sent an email to my ex (he showed it to me) where she clearly plots to get him back in a sneaky way. I had to laugh.

Ohter OW might really be looking to bond. Out of guilt I would guess. Not many people are truly evil and want to destroy other lives. If she's an average person, she feels guilty and wants to ease that feeling by befriending you maybe?

Memyself1, I agree with Naive1966 that you should spell it out to her. I was thinking what would I say if it was me and came up with this hypothetical response:

&quot;Thank you for wanting to be a friend, but this has been so painful to me that I really couldn't handle yet more associations with it. I hope you respect that and hope you find your own way like i will find mine and wish you luck and happiness&quot;

I had an OW try to (adopt) me here too. She started out emailing me about my H and then it progressed into her trying to mother me and tell me she would kicked my Hs ass if she finds out he is cheating again..WTF? he was cheating with her and she continues to pursue him, and wants to be my mommy?(she is about 20yrs older than me). She kept asking me to come visit her and have coffee I repeatedly turned down her offers. Then when I told her to please leave me alone she started sending me nasty letters saying my H is her best friend and she wasn't going to give him up and she knows he is cheating on her too and will never change but she loves him. BLA BLA BLA...These letters and phone calls went on for over a year and just recently have stopped when I threatened to go to the police, but she still calls the H at work and whines about all the promises he made to her and didnt keep, and she still drives by my house slowly about once a week. I think she is just lonely and desperate for companionship. I guess its really kinda sad.

Just let her know that you are trying to move on in your marriage and your not comfortable with keeping contact. Trust no one woman. If you think you know someone you will find out that everyone makes mistakes, but you need to watch out for you... that doesn't mean be paranoid that means enjoy life the way you want to. Don't worry about everyone else's feelings.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

All content posted on this site is the responsibility of the party posting such content.
Participation on this site by a party does not imply endorsement of any other party's content,
products, or services. Content should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.