Being In A Wheelchair

‘I was very nervous and didn’t have the usual teenage experience of growing up and being aware of myself as a sexual person. All the emphasis on “the perfect body” doesn’t help, especially since there’s no way I could ever aspire to what is seen as ideal. Being in a wheelchair limits my ability to move in what you would consider the standard sexual ways. It can be hard enough discussing sex with an established partner, never mind having to be upfront from the start and really spell out the realities – for example, telling someone it hurts when he does that, I have no feeling there or I physically cannot manage to do that. That takes a lot of confidence, especially when you compare it to the popular media images where couples just melt into each others’ arms and the sex is instantly wonderful.’

Struggling With My Body

‘When I was younger I really struggled with issues related to my disability, sexuality, and especially incontinence. I remember having a relationship with someone who had never been with someone with a disability – it was new for both of us. I was so fearful about telling him that occasionally when I get sexually excited, I pee. I felt badly about my body and that I couldn’t always ‘control’ it. He kept telling me it was okay and that I didn’t need to worry. But it took a long time before I believed him.’