Chances of Patel having job by Christmas looking Priti grim

Theresa May’s office has commented on the departure from the usual policy of ministers confining themselves to work on behalf of the country, and instead making a few quid on the freelancing market.

This policy shift has seen Theresa May tarmacing drives in Epping and Jeremy Hunt moonlighting as Health Secretary.

Controversially, International Development Secretary, Priti Patel, was recently seen juggling in Tel Aviv and an investigation by the Herald has shone a light on what Prof. Gee Zer, head of Rochdale University’s Political Sciences Department called ‘a diabolical liberty’.

May’s spokesman reminded the press, “We also hire out Boris Johnson for kids’ parties and Priti Patel earning a few quid for the team by freelancing in Israel is no problem as far as we’re concerned. It’s rare to get good work abroad, but the FCO had ok’d it as it was a real earner and with Christmas, sorry Hanukkah, coming up, a few bob never goes amiss”

The government stressed that these extra curricular activities only occasionally shift policy in favour of the group or individuals buying ministers, but were equally clear that if the price is right they would be keen to offer value for money.

Number 10 pushed back even harder later in the day “Look, honours have been for sale since time immemorial. Admittedly, this is the first time government policy has explicitly been on the publicly available price list, but it’s always been on offer to media owners and people prepared to bankroll our party. This is just another example of our commitment to open government.”

Labour denounced the breach of the ministerial code, reminding correspondents that Labour ministers are appointed without fear or favour, so long as the Trade Union in question approves, and the candidate has been anointed by the supreme leader and light of the world, John McDonnell.
In the light of recent scandals and the publication of various embarassing documents, however, and with the back benches baying for blood (without a hint of self promotion I’m sure) it looks like Ms Patel might be looking for a new job soon.