originally created to promote my unique handcrafted jewelry and awareness of the "handmade" movement, i'm also hoping to use this blog as a way to record my thoughts and experiences as an artist, and to share something of myself with the world...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Spring is here...

It's been over a month since I posted- I don't know why I haven't- I'm always composing something in my mind. It's just an entirely different matter to actually commit something to paper. Er, computer, that is- the typed word. And cyberspace. Anyway, it's finally starting to feel like Spring here on the East Coast, and it seems like the miserable gloom of Winter has been chased off for good. I begin to feel like a different person in the Springtime- like I'm coming out of hibernation. Especially this year, because it hasn't been a good one. Spring gives me hope- it's like a chance to start over. My birthday is also in March, and I promised myself it would be my best year since 26 is my favorite number (silly, I know- but it's a good promise, right?)

I'll be posting photos occasionally, because although I do consider myself a photographer, I don't really do anything with it right now and so this is at least one small way to share my work. My mother and I recently visited a butterfly conservatory in Deerfield, MA. I took about a million pictures so it was hard to choose just one. (I went for the artsy shot).

I also have some pretty pictures of Lake Champlain which I hope to post soon, from my visit to Burlington, Vermont a couple weeks ago. I lived there last year and I'm hoping to move back this summer, so I go up for interviews and to visit friends now and then. Spring is a little slower to arrive in northern Vermont... but once it does, it really is wonderful. And if you spent the Winter there, you feel like you've earned it!

I'm feeling a strange sensation of nostalgia lately for some reason I can't figure out. I keep having flashes of memories from last year around this time, and even the year before. I'm one of those people that hates for things to change, even though I know it's good for me and I'm usually grateful in the end- especially if it's about a risk I took myself, knowing it would result in personal growth. I think the nostalgic feeling is partially a reaction to the knowledge that things are about to change, and I need to start preparing myself for that to happen. Letting go of old stuff and making space in my consciousness for new experiences.

Except I have trouble letting things go (unless we're talking about cleaning my closet- I love getting rid of clothes). I'm always afraid I'll lose the memory of it, forget things- and it feels so final. Leaving a place- an apartment, a city- leaving a job, leaving friends- and knowing you have to start all over again, is overwhelming. But it's more than that- what I mean to say is, I always have this intense anxiety that the things I've left are somehow completely 'gone' now, and I just wish I had a better way to keep them with me. Maybe I just have to make peace with the way things turn out and realize that certain things are outside of my control. Also, circumstances unfold in particular ways for their own mysterious reasons, and it's sometimes okay not to understand why.

So, my blog has apparenty taken a little leap from the professional to the personal, but that's sort of what I suspected would happen, and it's alright with me. I will still use it to talk about my jewelry though- I'll also be posting information soon about my next giveaway, which (since I didn't do it in time for St. Patrick's Day) will be Spring-themed and hopefully more creative than the last.