"As a deer longs for brooks of water, so does my soul long for You, O G-d"

Friday, August 24, 2007

Summer Lovin' Had Me a Blast/Summer Lovin' Happened So Fast

So it's been two full months since my last post...and all I have to say is, well, I've been busy. This past summer, though at times difficult and stressful and crazy and strange, has been one of my best summers in a while. I used to dread summers a bit. I've experienced a few very significant, very terrible occurrences in the hot months of July and August. The Three Weeks, the Nine Days, two fast days, the general aimlessness, the unwavering heat, the violent thunderstorms...(ugh, the thunderstorms -a childhood fear never quite rid of)and the overall listlessness and stickiness, do not my favorite season make. And while I am looking forward to school beginning again (my second year of law school, oh yeah, baby!), I am not thrilled to see this summer fade away.

This has been a summer of great experiences, a very fulfilling and super fun internship (which I describe in the former way in interviews, the latter way to friends), and a whole lotta quality time with my family. So much time with many members of my family -which doesn't usually occur. My family is a large, unwieldy unit, spread across great distances and prevented from coalescing into one big mass by life's realities. Like the constraints of work, school, children...you know, good reasons all, but we really only hang all together at simchas, which is great, but how often does a big deal simcha occur? A few times a year, maybe, and that's counting smaller affairs we all try to get to because we all try to get to.

The "next simcha", as my siblings and mother so sweetly inform me, will be, im yirtzah Hashem, mine. I love discussing with my brothers, sisters and in-laws a figurative timeline of my future. Discussions like, oh, Okee, you can be married by the time you have Winter break, and then we commence the argument about whether this is so. Well, first I have to meet a guy. So let's say I go on my first date with my future husband (tee hee!) next week. This week I'm just too busy. We'll require -at minimum -three-and-a-half months to date, and then three months to be engaged before the wedding takes place, at the earliest, midway through February. Hmmm. That comes more than a month too late...oh well, I guess marriage by winter break won't work out. And so the discussion ends with an optimistic, "you can totally be married by Pesach!"

Lest you think my siblings are being pushy, annoying, insensitive, or gosh-darn-it putting pressure on me, let me remind you that my sense of humor is often miraculous. Yes, I can find the concept of putting a deadline on my marriage to a person I haven't met yet utterly ridiculous in the best possible way. And it isn't even one of those cases where if you don't laugh, you cry, so you laugh. Nope. This is just laugh laugh. For although I do want to get married, it's not for the sake of getting married. I want to also be married, and that's only if it's the right guy for me. So, for now, I'm content to be patient. I'm young, having fun (in a good girl way, this is no single in the city kind of blog!), and wonderfully, challengingly, satisfyingly busy -in the summer and hopefully also in the fall, when school will provide me the lion's share of the busy-ness.

Of course, if I do meet "him" next week, I certainly, most definitely, will fit him into my busy life. After all, I could be married by Pesach.

6 comments:

It's amazing that you can have a sense of humor about this issue--so many people succumb to the pressure and let comments by well-meaning family and friends really sting. The ability to ignore outside pressures is an important skill for life. Shkoyach to you for resisting and staying positive!

sj -amen! I love hearing im yirtzah Hashem by yous! luckily I never got tired of them quite yet:) and as to my sense of humor, I am thankful for it -it's really a gift from Hashem and saves me often...

david -I'm constantly being told by my mommy to take such advantage. She keeps reminding me that "now is the time" to do everything and anything, explore my passions, work on myself, sleep in, have fun, meet friends, etc. etc...and usually I do try to! And as for not needing 3 and a half months...maybe not, but less than that? I don't know, we'll have to see. I'll keep y'all posted...get it? POSTED!! heh heh heh

Truth be told, I am kind of sick of "iy'H by yous" because most people are just saying it to say it (or because they think I'm a nebbach case b/c my younger sister is engaged) and not because they really mean it. If someone really means it, I'm more than happy to answer with a heartfelt "Amein!" And although I'm still really happy for my sister, my sense of humor is wearing thin. Why does the world have to assume I'm bitter and jealous? People are just so stupid.... [sigh]

Anyway, good luck with this upcoming school year and finding The One! :)

scraps --well, there is a limit to hearing it -at some point, you can't help thinking, yes, of course, I know I'll get married if Hashem wishes it! But that doesn't really guarantee Hashem will, and I prefer b'ezras Hashem, kind of assuming Hashem desires the outcome, and asking instead for His assitance in attaining it.

And as to the whole people thinking you're a nebach case -don't be silly, I'm sure they don't. I can't believe anyone looks at any single, special, accomplished girl and thinks nebach, or she must be bitter -I think instead they must realize Hashem is saving the super special, accomplished, wonderufl guy for her -for you! B'ezras Hashem!!