Saturday, June 20, 2009

A Father means so many things... A understanding heart, A source of strength and of support Right from the very start. A constant readiness to help In a kind and thoughtful way. With encouragement and forgiveness No matter what comes your way. A special generosity and always affection, too A Father means so many things When he's a man like you... Father For Me...

A Dad is a personwho is loving and kind,And often he knowswhat you have on your mind.He's someone who listens,suggests, and defends.A dad can be oneof your very best friends!He's proud of your triumphs,but when things go wrong,A dad can be patientand helpful and strongIn all that you do,a dad's love plays a part.There's always a place for himdeep in your heart.And each year that passes,you're even more glad,More grateful and proudjust to call him your dad!Thank you, Dad...for listening and caring,for giving and sharing,but, especially, for just being you!Happy Father's Day

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

..... OMG..I CAN STAND HEARING THE NOISES.... For sometimes now, I've been living here with my housemates...but the people here keep renovating their houses...so noisy...for real..I can't stand it..It been almost everyday since last month, they been doing this...God..my head wanted to explode..I can't even sleep during the day.. [eventhough I have in insomnia..but come on now, if I'm really tired then I can snooze..].....

zzzzzzzzzzzzz......been so long since I haven't been taking a nap after classes..all those noises and weather...so hot here..if I'm allowed to swim in the pool..then I will jump in there every single day..God...I really wish to do that since I'm not allowed then..I couldn't..

Air-con would be nice as well...if the hostel even provide one..haha...so not true...they won't bother themselves to install one..even if living in this house feels so hot as hell...F**king hot...damn...I told myself.."be patient dear..please..it's not like you're going to die.."

Alrighty..fine...I'll be patient...just keeping myself calm that includes...having shower bout 3 times a day...then at night I still take a shower...not to mention, drinking cold water with ices...a couple of glasses...that is...erghhh...damn...so hot...

I said "whatever"....it doesn't matter now...do what you have to..to keep myself cool down...So..that's it...then the story of Noise Pollution and Hot Weather..sounds silly?? huh..ah..not really..

What exactly exam are for?? Of course to test you, how far you have reach when you do something, right?? Like so not fine for me...huhu.. i know, i know....everyone wants to tell me...get over it...!!! duh....

But the fact is I never like Exam....it made me feel soooo damn stupid...because I know the fact that someone out there is so freaking competitive...and yet they try so hard to compare themselves with everyone else....[ that is more shallow than them...urghh..so not me....]

Somehow... I guess I can accept it because they can make you more..of course push yourself to the fullest..haha..like push yourself to be more competitive..but [ in a good way] and makes you try your best to be someone that is actually smarter....and better..improved...

I admit myself that I'm not a genius or an expert to judge anyone or anything...the fact that I'm just simply ME.....no one special..duhh...anyone knows that..for sure...but I tried my best to be among THE BEST...but no luck...haha....just ordinary ME...myself...[ so..accept me for who I am ] thx...

The only reason 'why' I pushed myself to be 'THE BEST' is just because.....only because......for my parents.....the only reason....just to make my parents proud...just simply to have me as their daughter but they seems to hoping for the best out of me...That's Y...hurm...[ don't worry mum n dad, I'll try my best..the very best...believe me.. ]

I love my family..that's it...the reason...I want to make them feel happy...for having me..as who I am...but the better version of me...the one that can have a higher education, well-paid job, being a good daughter....can take care of them when they are old..being there for them..taking care of Eddy...

Exam is not just in education..but also in life...the way we live our life..simple as that..I understand now in that way..so let it be.....peace ~ ...............................................................................

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Sometimes even if I feel so happy here with my friends...but I just feel like I wasn't at home..I feel insecure here...friends sometime makes you feel excited and happy but they can also hurts your feeling unlike living with your family..having family especially my mum by my side,I feel so safe.. although I got in a fight a lot with Eddy but somehow he makes me feel full..because one thing for sure,your family will never leave you..they will always be there for you..

When I think back..for a second when I'm with my friends,I thought about 'what will happen??' When one day,they are working..getting married..having their own family...they will never get the chances to spend their time with you again..the fact is..they will leave you..trust me..THEY WILL..because you can never escape the fact and truth of life..

That why,sometimes I'm afraid to face any changes in life..growing up..having your own job..falling on love..getting married..having children..sounds so excited for some people of course...but for sure..it doesn't sound good for me..nada..duh..in fact it sounds a bit scary if you ask me..like a nightmare...erghh...

It's typical thing when you are growing up..for some might even advise me to get over it..then bla bla bla bla bla...duh..would you please STOP saying that...it's not like growing up is easy..it's easy for anyone to say this because they are already an adult !!!

Oh,Peter Pan,please take me to Never Never Land...sounds lame?? duh...of course..I would never want to escape the truth..but the truth hurts you more...is it??God...my life is damn hard...my emotions are all mixed up...what more can I say??

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Oh god...I don't know how to describe my emotion right now...it's just bloody plain...that's it...how could this happened to me??...this feeling right now is like the same feeling I had after I lost someone I loved..now don't get me wrong...I know somehow this doesn't exactly sound..well, right..but the person I lost are my cats..my beloved cat...after I put myself together,try so hard to forget everything..I felt NOTHING...it's just I'm lost..not in this world..for a minute, I thought that I was dead...because everything is blurry and empty..as if there's no soul in me...arghhhhh.....For me..the worst emotion of all is..you can't feel anything..