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Not much can be written to take away your pain. Only know that you avoided a marriage that may have dissolved quickly, you did avoid that pain. Perhaps you got a break and life will be better for you and your child.

Best of luck. remember to live again, hold your head high, be a dad, be an individual and live a good life.

This ringed a bell, cuz it was on a Yahoo article yesterday - why cute guys are still single. But I think you mean "hot" women put $$$ before anything. 1 of the responses was from a guy who works as a waiter, & he said he waits on young, attractive women & their much older, rich men all the time. Then he said he doesn't want to deal with those types.

That's just sad........it gives us great gals NOT dating for money a 'bad' name.

I've never dated looking for money - wouldn't know how to act if a guy 'showered' money on me........I'd have to act differently, not be myself.

There are still some of us rare birdies out there who don't care what part of town you live in, what type of car you drive, whether you make over a certain amount in your job, or whether it's McD's, Wendy's or a nice dinner at home.

Some of us just would like to find a sweet, polite, kind, sane, loving, romantic and emotionally available man, who treats us like we're important to them.

im with you Bird o paradox.....I cant tell you how many times I have been out on a date and once the guy finds out I work at a low paying job and own a piece of crap car they never ask me out again. Hey I own my own home...I pay my bills....Im not looking for a hand out. Im looking for respect and love. I have been out with lots of guys that still live with their parents and a few who do not have jobs at all.....as long as you are not robbing a bank or dealing drugs to get money....im okay with who you are.

cant tell you how many times I have been out on a date and once the guy finds out I work at a low paying job and own a piece of crap car they never ask me out again.

Homegrown, I always admired a woman that gets her hands dirty, & drives an older vehicle (though being in Ohio makes that somewhat imposssible at times)... now the opposite to me spells High Maintenance... I would feel that I could never live up to or keep up with their high standards.

Even when I had the better job & newer vehicle, there were always women around that viewed this as not good enough either.

Amazing this thread was not deleted from the very beginning. To make such a generalization about any person or group is wrong. Amazing how the comments keep going in circles coming to the same conclusion. That being people are different and in the course of life you will meet people that act differently.

I'm sorry, but everyone here who is downplaying the importance of money in a relationship is either being willfully ignorant or just flat out lying. The OP suggests that women find money to be the most important issue in a relationship. While I find the number of women who fall into that category to be the slim minority, and thankfully so, I laugh at the idea that so many people would put themselves out there as not caring about it. What world do you live in? Because I live in one where more than half of us are one single unexpected bill away from the poor house, living paycheck to paycheck, and having a heard time at night not worrying about how in the heck am I going to afford raising a child, let alone putting her through college in 15 years. Money is THE number one extrinsic factor to any modern relationship, simply be virtue of the world we live in. That's not to say we don't have other concerns that outweigh money issues on any given day, but repeatedly, day in day out, until the day we die, money is central to who we are in life. I'm certain there are plenty of people who scoff at the idea or are insulted. I just keep thinking of the last line from Pink Floyd's song of the same name:

Money, so they say Is the root of all evil today. But if you ask for a raise its no surprise that they're Giving none away.

concerned with money. There is more, much more. The real issue is avoiding people that carry more baggage than you. Money, or the lack of money indicates the inability to take care of business, a red flag. So is it really the lack of money or the idea that someone does not take care of business? And guys get real here. As long as men project the idea that all they want is sex they better expect having to jump through Money, money, and more money. Sure there are men and women that are hoops to get there.

Everyone's situation is different. I'm not married or have any children. If there comes a time when I have to support a wife (two income households are almost commonplace right?) or children then I will need to take some measures to find work that pays more.

Right now with my situation I'm not living on Skid Row but then again I'm not on Easy Street either. At the end of the month I'm still putting money away.

My s2bx is one that has to have money. I make a fair living, but everytime I put money back she spent it. I litteraly was 2 pay checks away from not making bills. Now that my son is with me and she moved out I am getting control of my money. The only thing that is testing me now is Lawyer cost. But that too shall pass.

I don't think all women are out for Money and or a Sugar daddy. But I do know they are out there. More so than they will admit!! But there are good ones as well. The Lady I will be dating ( as soon as my divorce is finalized ) is doing very well. We are just good friends and have been for over 5 years. She actually tried helping me keep my s2bx and me together. I told her straight up that I don't have money and she offered to help me out. I told her No, I'm one of those people that prefer to pull my own weight. Raising a kid isn't cheap either, but I opted for Full Custody and could care less about child support. Money isn't everything, it does help sometimes, but I am happy being 4 paychecks away from missing bills.

"Money, or the lack of money indicates the inability to take care of business, a red flag. So is it really the lack of money or the idea that someone does not take care of business?"

You nailed it, unless a person lost a long standing job because of this economy (which is happening all too often) if you are not in a fairly good financial place by the time you are 50 it tends to say something. It might mean that a person is not that ambitious, might mean lousy money manager, living beyond your means, whatever but I do think it is a red flag, one that might be explained but then again one that might just mean a problem.

Tcboots99, Climbs, My s2bx is trying to take me for everything and then some. I will add that she was the one that had the affair ( with a guy that spent 15 in the pen for raping her oldest son ) and then dished out the abuse. My financial situation was looking pretty good until I filed. House was paid off, no credit card debt, only a car pmt. Now everything is in limbo and she wants everything plus alimony ( and she works full time ). To try and save some of it I have to pay my lawyer more than was originally expected. This all would be done and over with if she would get a lawyer and stick with them. She is on her 3rd one and each time I have to go through just about everything all over again. So it doesn't always mean a guy or gal is a lousy money manager just because someone is barely getting by. Some of us have just gotten a raw deal and have to rebuild our life in every way.

As I said Movingon, it might be explained - certainly a divorce after years of marriage and shared properties and all does change your financial status, that isn't really the kind of thing I think both Climbs and I are referring to, more about someone who really has no excuse.

In reply, I am 54 and I have been divorced for the last 4 years. I don't ever discuss money until I know if I like the PERSON first...then since, I support myself and I own my own house, I think that the man should also be able to take care of himself. Neither should want anything from the other in the way of money. So not ALL women are out for the money (but, I do understand that some women are like that.) Don't be so quick to judge.

I agree with you, the women that I have met that are into money are not even worth my time. "Real" women could care less about how much money you make as long as you can pay your bills on time. Women like to laugh and you must have self confidence, I never tell them how much money I make. You are talking to the wrong women, and the cute ones don't always care about money.

That's right greek! As long as a man can pay his bills on time and have a little left over for some entertainment, that's all that matters. I say that because if a person doesn't have a little extra money for their own fun then more than likely they are going to be bitter because they never go out. And by entertainment, I'm talking "cheap" stuff. Watching a movie here at the Palace Theater is $4 admission and $1.50 for popcorn. Grabbing a coffee or soda and talking a walk doen't cost much either. There are a lot of free and interesting things to do around where someone lives and the only cost involved is the gas to get there.

It amazes me when going on the first date how many people ask the other "So where do you work?" or "How much money do you make?". Frankly, on a first date that is inappropriate. I pay my bills each month and that's all anyone needs to know until we are headed in the long term direction.

This thread has been going on since 2004, and nothing has changed concerning this subject. You know your wants, needs and priorities, so stick to them and follow your gut feelings and your heart, then please put this thread to bed.