(for those who don’t know, brandy melville is a teen clothing retailer catering to the more wealthy and known for their ‘one size fits most’ policy.)

Hey, Brandy Melville.

Let me start off by saying that I am not a Brandy girl. I am Asian-American, 5’3″, with a waist the same size as the models on the website (only they’re at least five inches taller). My hair is long, but it’s also wavy and not blonde. My eyes are not blue, and my teeth are far from perfect and straight. However, I do love Brandy’s style, I’ll commend you on that. The long cardigans, Valencia-washed Instagram, the careful assosiation with teen idols – all American girls such as Taylor Swift, the latest photo on your Instagram feed – it’s some remarkable branding.

Along with that branding, of course, is your typical Brandy girl. 5’7″ or 5’8″, with waist-length blonde hair, blue or green eyes, and one of those bodies that only years and years of green dieting and exercise can get you. After scrolling through your website, I found exactly one model of color, and not on the front page. She was buried in the ‘graphics’ section. Granted, she also had the body of the stereotypical Brandy girl.

Remember Maggie Todd? She’s one of your most popular models, with 77.8 k Instagram followers, and also the only brunette in a 4:47 video of a 2013 Brandy shoot. Still white, still green-eyed, but different none-the-less. If that teeny bit of diversity earned Maggie and your brand thousands of fans, imagine what models of every body type and every race and different nuances of life could earn you.

I get it, you can do whatever you want, but just think about it. Think about the 50% or so of girls who can’t wear your clothes. You’re taking the body of potential customers and slashing it in half right off the bat. Isn’t that bad for business? Think about fashion giants H&M and Forever 21, who are currently mooching off your customers with their newly launched plus-size lines. And for heaven’s sake, think of the thousands of gorgeous, equally Cali-chic girls who aren’t getting hired by your brand because they aren’t white enough or tiny enough.

My point is, yeah, there are lots of girls who can wear your clothes and will. But there are even more girls who can’t wear your clothes, and I bet some of them would want to if you expanded your size range and got models that they could relate to. Blonde sun-kissed beach babes are great, but what about the bubbly Brazilians with jet-black hair and cutting eyes? The young Liu Wen’s with creamy complexions and deep, caramel-toned eyes? Brandy Melville, you’re even forgetting the New York socialite whose city you slathered on the back of your bomber jackets. Love the inside. Embrace differences. Travel the world.

12.07.14

You’re probably thinking this won’t end well. It won’t. Well, by some wayward chance of fate (I was looking up hobbies that teenage girls can do easily, okay), I stumbled upon this gold mine. Like, literally, gold mine. What I mean is GOLD MINE for GOLD DIGGERS looking to find a sugar daddy, plus such genius titles as “Vulnerable Craving Hearts Attract Devoted and Trustworthy Men“. I’m being serious. This is a direct quote. So, without further ado, I present:

How To Be Feminine!!!! A Guide 2 Bringin Out UR TRUE VALUE…harness UR unique feminine Energy!?!?!?! I x-puh-lain the quotes U should live by! (srry for the baad speling, im too busy cooking&cleaning to go to skool!!!)

“If we are born more feminine than we are masculine in our DNA…our hearts and souls are actually suffering from not having that freedom to be in our feminine.”

Yeah, right!!! Because not being treated like a human being because of your gender is totally justified and our souls are suffering from the lack of freedom…to be treated like sh!t by men. Toooootes.

“There’s an opportunity cost of being in control of our career, finances and lives.”

Well, sure dodged a bullet there. I would not want to have the chance to make a living for myself, to be independent. If I had gone to college, earned my Ph.D, and worked my a$$ off, I would have sacrificed my totally existent “feminine karma” to have something to fall back on. Not worth it at all. Whew!

“So, the more we reject different parts of ourselves that are dying to be expressed inside, the less whole we really are, and the less High Value we are in relationship to men, generally speaking.”

Omigosh, you’re really right! Your Value is 168% based on what a Man thinks of you. Praise Man!!!! We can’t live without him. We’re perfectly happy with being treated like an animal, up for sale. ‘This girl has stocky shoulders, she’s only worth a little’ ‘wow, this girl is a beauty and she’s harnessed her feminine energy. let’s keep her and give her the greatest gift of her life’.

“We can then go and practice embodying different energies such as surrendering to our softer, flowing, feminine energy and letting ourselves be open to the strong direction of a masculine man.”

I’m starting to realize now. We need to let men boss us around. They should tell us what to do!!! We’re inferior to them. Oh, Heavenly Masculine Man, please be my guide to the hardships of the world. Let me follow your every command, do everything you say. We’re not bo$$y, or bo$$es. Why be either when you have the great MAN.

“I feel these men as a gift – mainly because it IS a gift.”

MEN ARE GOD’S GREATEST GIFT TO THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Women are not a gift to the world when they do more.They are less of a gift when they do more.”

i !! cannot !! do !! this !! anymore !!

After about five minutes, I literally could not do it anymore. Why do people think they have no value without a man? A gender is basically just determining if you’re bigger or smaller, and if you have something dangling from somewhere. Gender doesn’t define you. You define Gender

You’re amazing. You’re talented. You don’t need no man. You’re not bossy, you’re a boss. Say it out loud three times. C’mon. Do it. I’m not talking to you until you do.

I will be using my own pictures in the future, but I didn’t have time to take any today so here’s a Tumblr pic for you!

10.26.14

For anyone who doesn’t know me, here’s a warning – I’m absolutely random, and I’m not a good writer. Proceed with caution.

Anyway, my name is Jenna. I’m old enough to have seen Justin Bieber turn from adorable child pop star to petty criminal who hasn’t even been able to crack the Top 100. WordPress has been my second home for almost a year now, and I’ve enjoyed every moment – painstakingly adjusting pictures, adding borders, and of course, writing stories that make you laugh or cry or cough or do a mixture of both. I wish I had a polaroid camera, but I take photos anyway of things like Starbucks cups and my Kate Spade agenda. Too much cake makes me barf, but I blow out the candles anyway on April 2nd. And I love Europe, Leslie Knope, strawberries, Gemma Ward, mint, Sour Patch Kids, erasers, scented candles, Italian soda, and you. ♥

As for my blog, Swallowed In Serendipity is going to be a feminist mismash of challenges, tags, thinking, advice, personal blogs, and trying to avoid stalkers. Love you, Bell!