Tuesday, September 11, 2012

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I
recently finished reading Elijah Wald’s book called The Dozens: A
History of Rap’s Mama. The dozens is a game of trading insult wordplay,
sometimes it rhymes, sometimes it doesn’t, it often involves talking
about your opponent’s mama. The book covers the pre-blues period to
recent hip-hop and a lot of things beyond the world of music. But there
are some prewar blues songs that are great examples of the game and at
least one that really affected it’s evolution. So, we’ll start there
with Speckled Red’s very funny hit from 1929, The Dirty Dozen.

Now, I want all you womenfolks to fall in lineShake your shimmy like I’m shaking mineYou shake your shimmy and you shake it fastYou can’t shake your shimmy, shake your yes, yes, yesNow you’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozen, your pappy is your cousinYour mama do the lordy-lordYonder go your mama going out across the fieldRunning and shaking like an automobileI hollered at your mama and I told her to waitShe slipped away from me like a Cadillac EightNow she’s a running mistreater, robber and a cheaterPappy is your cousin, slip you in the dozenYour mama do the lordy-lordI like your mama and like your sister tooI did like your daddy, but your daddy wouldn’t doI met your daddy on the corner the other dayYou know by that that he was funny that waySo now he’s a funny mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozen, your papa is your cousinYour mama do the lordy-lordGod made him an elephant and he made him stoutHe wasn’t satisfied until he made him a snoutMade his snout just as long as a railHe wasn’t satisfied until he made him a tailHe made his tail just to fan the fliesHe wasn’t satisfied until he made some eyesHe made his eyes to look over the grassWasn’t satisfied until he made his yes, yes, yesMade his yes, yes, yes and didn’t get it fixedWasn’t satisfied until it made him sickIt made him sick, Lord, it made him wellYou know by that the elephant caught hellNow he’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozen, your pappy is your cousinYour mama do the lordy-lord

Six months later Speckled Red still had more dozens verses to lay down when he recorded The Dirty Dozen Part Two.

Now, now boys, say you ain’t acting fairYou know by that you got real bad hairYour face is all hid, now your back’s all bareIf you ain’t doing the bobo, what’s your head doing down there?You’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozen, now your papa is your cousinAnd your mama do the lordy-lordNow, your little sister, why she asked me to kiss herI told her to wait until she got a little biggerShe got a little bigger, said now I did kiss herYou know by that, boy, I did miss herNow she’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozen, and your papa is your cousinYour mama do the lordy-lordNow the first three months said she did very wellNext three months she began to raise a little hellNext three months said she got real roughYou know by that, that she was strutting her stuffNow you’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozen, now your papa is your cousinAnd your mama do the lordy-lordNow I like your mama, but she wouldn’t do thisI hit her cross the head with my great big fistThe clock’s on the shelf going tick tick tickYour mama’s out on the street doing I don’t know whichFour, five, six, seven, eight, nine and tenI like your mama but she got too many menAshes to ashes, now it’s sand to sandEvery time I see her, she’s got a brand new manNow she’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozen, now your papa is your cousinAnd your mama do the lordy-lord

Speckled
Red with two versions of the dirty dozen singing about your family, how
your mama’s got too many men,implying he got your little sister
pregnant, and your papa’s funny that way. Also, singing about how god
made an elephant in what would become a widely imitated rhyme.The
recorded version of this song is clearly a cleaned-up version of what
Red was singing in the bars and brothels where he played in the
twenties. In the sixties he did end up recording a far dirtier version. Kokomo
arnold recorded his own version of Speckled Red’s hit featuring his own
slide guitar style. He called it The Twelves when he recorded it in
1935:

Says I want everybody, fall in lineShake your shimmy like I'm shaking mineYou shake your shimmy, shake it fastIf you can't shake your shimmy shake your yas yas yasCause you a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozen, your pappy is your cousinYour mama do the lordy-lordSays yonder gp your mama out across the fieldSlipping and a‑sliding just like an automobileI hollered at your mama I told her to waitShe slipped away from me just like a Cadillac EightCause she’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozen, your pappy is your cousinLet your mama do the lordy-lordSay I like your mama, sister tooI did like your papa, but your papa wouldn't doI met your papa around the corner the other dayI soon found out that he was funny that a‑wayCause he’s a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozen, your pappy is your cousinLet your mama do the lordy-lordSays I went out yonder, New OrleansThe wildcat jumped on the sewing machineThe sewing machine sewed so fastSewed ninety‑nine stitches up his yes yes yesCause you a dirty mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozen, your pappy is your cousinYour mama do the lordy-lordSays God made elephant, made him stoutHe wasn't satisfied until he made him a snoutHe made him a snout just as long as a railHe wasn't satisfied until he made him a tailHe made him a tail just to fan the fliesHe wasn't satisfied until he made him some eyesHe made him some eyes just to look on the grassHe wasn't satisfied then he made his yes yes yesHe made his yes yes yes and he didn’t get it fixedHe wasn't satisfied until he made him sickHe made him sick and then made him wellYou know by that the big boy's coughing in hell

Luke
Jordan’s Pick Poor Robin Clean ranges across a few subjects, but it’s
got one great verse in classics dozens style where he tells his
theoretical dozens opponent that if he comes after Jordan’s girls, he’s
gonna have your ma, aunt, sister, and great granny:

You better pick poor robin clean, poor robin cleanI picked his head, I picked his feetI picked his body, but it wasn't fit to eatYou'd better pick poor robin cleanPick poor robin cleanBut I'll be satisfied having your familyGet off my money and don't get funny'Cause I'm a nigger, don't cut no figureGambling for Sadie, she is my ladyI'm a hustling coon that's just what I amYou better pick poor robin clean, poor robin cleanI picked his head, I picked his feetI picked his body, but it wasn't fit to eatI picked his head, I picked his feetI picked his body, but it wasn't fit to eatYou'd better pick poor robin cleanPick poor robin cleanBut I'll be satisfied having your familyWell didn't that jaybird laughWhen he picked poor robin cleanPicked poor robin clean, poor robin cleanDidn't that jaybird laughWhen he picked poor robin cleanWell I'll be satisfied having your familyWell if you have that girl of mineGonna have your ma, your sister tooYour auntie threeIf your great-grandmammy do the shivaree I'm gonna have 'em allI'll be satisfied keeping up your familyYou better pick poor robin clean, poor robin cleanI picked his head, I picked his feetI picked his body, but it wasn't fit to eatI picked his head, I picked his feetI picked his body, but it wasn't fit to eat

Charley Jordan recorded a song with some similarities to both Luke Jordan's and Speckled Red's songs in 1930. Keep it Clean:

I went to the river, I couldn't get acrossI jumped on your papa because I thought he was a horse noRode him over, give him a coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice creamtakes soap and water for to keep it cleanUp she jumped, down she fell, her mouth flew open like a mussel shellNow get him over, give him coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice creamtakes soap and water for to keep it cleanYou sister was a tabby, your daddy was a bearPut a muzzle on your mama, because she had bad hairGot him over, give him coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice creamtakes soap and water for to keep it cleanIf you want to hear that elephant laughTake him down to the river and wash his yes yes yesGot him over, give him coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice creamtakes soap and water for to keep it cleanIf you want to go to heaven when you D-I-EYou got to put on your collar and your T-I-E nowGot him over, give him coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice creamtakes soap and water for to keep it cleanIf you want to get the rabbits out the L-O-GYou got to put on the stump like a D-O-GNow ride him over, give him coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice creamtakes soap and water for to keep it cleanRun here doctor, run here fastSee what's the matter with his yes yes yesNow ride him over, give him a coca-cola lemon soda, saucer of ice creamsoap and water for to keep it clean

Leroy
carr recorded a whole series of "Papa" songs. Papa Wants to Knock a Jug
is the most clearly in the dozens tradition from 1931, the lyrics are
mostly about the mama:

I saw your mama in Kansas CityThe way she was looking was a doggone pity

Feet on the ground, clothes wasn't cleanDirtiest old stuff I’ve ever seen

Oh kind mama, Papa wants to knock a jug

Now I got a gal she is big as a bullShe never stops drinking till her belly gets fullGets full of liquor and tries to singTight like that and shake that thingOh kind mama, Papa wants to knock a jug

I ask her about it she said before longLet's get together because your water's onLet's get started, be long goneLet's get together what you waiting onOh kind mama, Papa wants to knock a jug

I saw you mama way last spring, eyeballs shining like a diamond ringStaggered down the street hollering and a‑fussingI tried to stop her and I got a good cussingOh kind mama, Papa wants to knock a jug

I saw your mama, your papa too What they was doing just won't doI slipped up on them and took one lookWhat they was doing wasn't in the bookOh kind mama, Papa wants to knock a jug

If you want some loving, you want it cheapGo down on Ellsworth about the middle of the weekShow them girls a quarter, they won't let you goIt's four or five times and then some moreOh kind mama, Papa wants to knock a jug

Ben Curry recorded New Dirty Dozen in 1932:

Emma went fishing, she went with LouLou threw down her other shoeEmma sit down up on the grass Brother came and pushed on her yes yes yes

Now he’s a pushing mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozenYour father is your cousinMama doing the lordy lord

Papa killed a turkey, he thought he was a thiefTook him a long time to get a little peaceBrother tried to show her, she was so fastDrove her all over from his yes yes yes

Now she’s a digging mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozensFather is your cousinMama doing the lordy lord

Bill and Oz were shooting dice the other nightOz threw in the money and he started a fightBill tried to hit him a little too fasttook his knife and juked him on his yes yes yes

Now he’s a juking mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip them in the dozensFather is your cousinMama doing the lordy lordCharles and Zeke come to our townTeaching everbody how to get it downOld woman got down a little too fastCaught the room and threw him on his yes yes yes

Now he’s a catching mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip them in the dozensFather is your cousinMama doing the lordy lord

She was fishing forty years, she never broke a plateShe cooked forty years, she never burned a steakWe got her from the box, bottom to the top (?)Cutting forty years said she should know her stuff

Now she’s a cutting mistreater, robber and a cheaterSlip you in the dozensFather is your cousinMama doing the lordy lord