Thursday, October 13, 2011

Floor Plan Porn: 834 Fifth Avenue

Listen chickadoodles, today is a travel day so we're a little tight on time. We decided a little last minute to fly up to San Francisco to cavort and frolic for a few drunken days with our boozy b.f.f. Fiona Trambeau as well as much-adored pals Miss Anne, Patty Cake, and Falsetta Knockers and her husband Herr Wordsmith.

Anyhoo, as short on time as we may be this morning we're loathe to leave The Children high and dry so we thought we'd quickly pass along some heavenly floor plan porn in the form of a monumental 15-room duplex spread at the insanely posh and lavishly expensive limestone-clad Rosario Candela-designed building at 834 Fifth Avenue in New York City.

The grandly-scaled 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom residence, owned by the estate of deceased concrete construction tycoon Walter C. Goldstein, was pushed on to the open market this week with an asking price of $27,500,000 and steep monthly maintenance/common charges of $9,396.

Current listing information does not include photos of the titanic apartment but based on the included floor plan there are a few highlights Your Mama would like to point out:

–the sizable service wing that contains a large with walk-in china storage closet, a fully-equipped kitchen-sized pantry, and separate breakfast room.

–the extensive staff quarters spread over two floors that total 7 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, plus a sitting room with kitchenette.

–the sweeping curved staircase in the capacious entrance gallery–the kind of magnificent architectural drama Rosario Candela is famous for–that leads to the ballroom-scaled upper landing off of which open three grand bedrooms each with large bathroom.

There have been a number of sales in the hoity-toity building the last couple of years including in July 2011 when Broadway producer Hal Prince sold his terraced, high-floor duplex for $24,900,000 to Amabel and Hamilton "Tony" James, the COO of the Blackstone Group COO James Hamilton. In January 2011 retail magnate Leslie Wexner–billionaire He-rah of of Limited Brands–sold their ThierryDespont-designed duplex to property developer Samuel J. Heyman.

Financier (and former ambassador to Belgium) Paul Cejas sold his 2 bedroom spread in May 2010 to ink heir and tycoon Maurice Amon for $15,000,000 and the previous month Charles Schwab sold his high-floor aerie for $12,500,000 to San Francisco based doyenne Miriam "Mimi" Haas, widow of Levi Strauss executive and heir Peter Haas.

The year before, in March 2009, philanthropic Loews heiress Laurie Tisch dropped $29,000,000 for a gracious 13-room residence with 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms (plus a 4-room staff suite with bathroom), 37-foot long living room, pine paneled library, 4 fireplaces, and two terraces.

Some of the other residents–or apartment owners–at 834 include Bing Crosby's son Harry, philanthropist, haute couture queen and high society doyenne Carroll McDaniel Portago Carey-Hughes PistellPetrie who once lived on the 5th floor and now lives in Pauline Pitt-designed digs on the 10th floor, and famously fat living former "King of Wall Street" John Gutfreund and his very social wife Susan whose live primarily in a plush Parisian apartment they put up for sale in 2010 but still maintain an opulent Henri Samuel-designed 16-room apartment at 834 Fifth Avenue that measures in at a hefty hefty hefty 12,000 square feet.

Seven staff, at least, to wait upon and obsequiously serve a couple (or more?). That sounds about right for ancien regime America where the super rich "nobility" lord it over the peasantry using all sort of concealed chicanery to accomplish their ends. BTW, from things I read from time to time, it would appear some of the super rich are becoming uncomfortable with this situation. They vaguely fear some kind of uprising might occur. But as long as the army and police are under control, they have little to worry about.

What a spectacular apartment. With 7 staff bedrooms, clearly the era when plans for this building were drawn up is a bygone one. I don't think any modern family would be interested in rubbing shoulders 24/7/365 with 7 non-family members. It wouldn't surprise me if most are used for offices and storage now. I'm curious as to why there is a door adjoining the smallest of the principle bedrooms with a staff bedroom - to allow for a nursery and live-in nanny arrangement perhaps?

Really enjoyed this one Mama, thank you kindly. Have a lot of fun this weekend and stay safe!

And so, the Real Estalker rolls on and on...somewhat like a garden party of overdressed aristocrats tinkling their slightly cracked crystal together, out back behind their palaces, as an unexpectedly cold autumn wind suddenly knocks over a couple of decorations and scatters them, and they hear the sounds of angry marchers and cannon fire as it roars in the distance, rudely interupting their semi-forced laughter and gossip, as a stray spark from the flames on the horizon lands unseen and burning on the shoulder of someone's gown.

4:15: I don't think Mama really intends to glorify these people. She is wisely non-commital by and large. One can take it all as in fact exposing them to public scrutiny that I think is useful. In any event, the worm may be turning just a bit in the US but we are still a long way from 1789 as yet. Anger will need to rise much more before the guillotines appear. But that day may be coming.

Momma, most of your readers have no clue how palatial this apartment is. There is enough square footage and sound deafening in these grand old buildings that one hardly needs to be concerned about "rubbing shoulders" with the help. And what employer would rest easy with their child's nanny facing a late night subway ride to the Bronx when they could just retire to their room in a building so safe people don't even lock their doors? If y'all get irratated reading about the lifestyles of the rich and famous, find something better to do than reading this blog. Momma, you keep on keeping on.

Great comments Patty and anon, thank you. Perhaps I'm a bit more privacy conscious than most, but even if I had a fortune and square footage rivaling Bill Gates', I wouldn't want more non-family members living inside my home full time than there are members in my family, and I'm pretty sure a majority of modern wealthy families feel the same way. Besides, most domestic workers have and want normal lives now - homes, families, etc.