Wednesday, August 31, 2016

I
received my water / sewer bill from Newton today. In the upper right hand
corner is a helpful box:

FOR
METER REPAIRS

CALL
(617) 796-1640

FOR
PAYMENT QUESTIONS

CALL
(617) 796-1330

FOR
IMPERVIOUS QUESTIONS

CALL
(617) 796-1661

I
tell you, I spent a good two minutes considering what "impervious
questions" might mean.

Do
my city really give me access to a help line for key philosophical queries?
("What is the meaning of life, the universe and everything if it's *not*
42?")

Was
"impervious" a typo? If so, for what?

I
was mightily tempted to pick up the phone and call for an explanation. Then I
remembered that God had invented the interwebs, and I Googled "Newton
impervious questions", which led me to this page:

http://www.newtonma.gov/gov/dpw/impervious_rates.asp

Alas.
It appears that water rates are, in some cases, related to "impervious
surfaces."

Now
I'm sorry I researched this. I would like to have continued through the day
warm in the thought that my city had a truly extraordinary hotline.

Nathaniel
Hellerstein:

Impervious
questions? I love it!

This
reminds me of a Lewis Carroll autobiographical tale. He was walking down the
road, and saw a sign saying "ROMANCEMENTS". Amazed, he entered the
store, and saw (to his greater amazement) a working-class man all covered with
grime and dust. Lewis Carroll soon learned that the shop was selling Roman
Cements.

Impervious
questions; questions about water-impervious soil. Romancements; Roman cements.
I see in this the meeting of earth and sky. Impervious questions about
romancements!

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

I
once read an online comment that went in part, “I am in and out...” This was
written by a human being, so it meant that the human was in part of the time,
and out part of the time. The human can be reached online with complete
certainty part of the time, and is completely unreachable the rest of the time.

But
if this had been written by an electron, then it would have meant that the
electron was both in and out, all of the time. The electron is equally
available at all times, by random chance.