7/11/09

Blog, Shmog....

I’ve been searching for something profound to say on this day, as I watched this milestone get closer and closer.

The first thing I have to say is a HUGE thank you. I am very, very humbled.

Thank you for your loyalty, your support, your friendship, your laughter, your stories and your love. It has moved me more than I can say, and I really DO feel lifted by every comment and email I receive. (I read them all- and it irritates every one in my house…)

3. If you are going to tell the bloggy word that your brother pooped his pants in second grade, you might want to check with him first. (Although it DOES serve him right for the whole "selling peeks into the bathroom keyhole" incident.)

4. Always think before commenting. Sometimes something I might think is funny might be taken the wrong way. (It was never intentional, and sometimes my humor gets the best of me. Please forgive me.)

5. If you make a mistake fess up, own it, learn from it and move forward.

Now, I would also love to give something to you. I don’t know if anyone CARES or not, but here is my little bit of advice to people who are blogging. (Take it or leave it.)

1.When posting, make it short. I have a very short attention span, and cannot POSSIBLY be the only one out there. (Oh, unless you’re Steve King in disguise, then WRITE AWAY. Right, Irish???)

2. Try to use a font that we can see. If it is too small and I have to search for Tightwad’s reading glasses, I move on.

3. Make me laugh.

4. Make me cry.

5.Make me say “HEY, that happened to ME!”

6. Link your name to your "profile" so we can respond to your comments! (Like I say in my classroom AND at home, "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT?")

7. Be good to your friends, and shout them out when you can. They deserve it!!! (I try to shout out as much as i can. I'll do more. Honestly. )

That’s all I got.

Now, perhaps a gift from you? I would love for you to let me know, in a comment, what you enjoy when you come here.

Is it the funny stories from school? Is it the letters to my frustrating, argumentative, spoiled, terrible, wonderful, amazing and talented children whom I love more than words can say?

Perhaps it's the crazy memories and thoughts I share from my childhood? Anyway....

172 comments:

Honestly - I can't belive it's only been a year for you. I assumed it was much longer. You have done so much in a year - look at all of those followers. You are amazing.

I will do my best with the advice except for the long post thing. No matter how hard I try - I just can't help myself. The words - they keep coming... I'm like the Little Dutch Boy. I try to hold them at bay, but they always end up overpowering me... Just skim to the bottom and say something about the last paragraph in comments (I'll never be the wiser...)

Well, Happy Anniversary! A whole year....can't imagine. I've only been doing this about 60 posts worth...in to 3 months now and I feel old! I read every bit of your advice and with a couple exceptions (the name thing....first only but often real) I think I'm already doing it for the same reasons you mention.

Good advice, which I am not always good at following. I can make you laugh or cry or say "wow, that happened to me, too," but I do tend to ramble on...

Congrats on the one-year anniversary. I've always assumed that with so many followers, you've been at it much longer. But no, you really are just that good!

Best wishes for your second year of blogging. I know I am looking forward to your stories.

And to answer your question, I like the variety. The school stories always bring a chuckle, but I love the personal / family stories, too. They give a glimpse of your personality and often make me laugh, or cry, or say, "yeah, I've been there, too!"

Wow, only one year old and you've got more followers than I can count. Congratulations on your one year anniversary. As to what I love when coming to your blog, it's definitely the variety AND the WAY you write about it all!

Thanks so much for your advice. I see that I haven't paid attention to the part about 'keeping the posts short' and since I'm NOT Stephen King, should start listening to you!

Happy Bloggidy Birthday!! One year old, huh? In daycare-speak that makes you a "Waddler"

*snicker*

What do I love when I visit here? The school stories. The family stories. The whatnot stories. Oh hell, let's just face it VM, you can spin one hell of a yarn no matter what it is. Just keep doing what you do. It's all good.

Happy First Anniversary! The traditional gift for a first anniversary is paper. The modern is clocks.

More money and more time...That's what I wish for you.

You had me way back when, with a funny story about Bitchy or Sassy leaving their shoes lying around...I became a follower and soon discovered that we had a lot in common... teaching, tightwad husbands...a brilliant sense of humour :), as heart as soft as a marshmallow, and the hardwired desire to make people laugh.

Aside from your amazingly funny posts and the comments that follow another thing that you bring to the blog world is community. I have met so many wonderful people from your blog. Each of them with their own story to tell. Each of them here for the stories that you tell. I also appreciated your words of encouragement and advice when I was starting out.

I know you asked us to keep our posts short but you said nothing about the comments. :)

Your most memorable post of the year was an article you did about teaching. I shared the link with my youngest son's former "first" grade teacher. You "get" teaching and so does she!Happy Blogiversary!

You suggest keeping it short, but I love your longer posts... I can get one-liners from anywhere, it's much more interesting to read something a bit more personal. Your letters to your kids are my favourite part.

Wow! Only a year? How can that be? I love your blog because you always have something interesting to say - and it's always short, sweet, and to the point - and you make me laugh. Congratulations and I look forward to the next year!

Hey Mother of All Vodka, Big Star, Supremo Laughing Machine, and dear dear friend....you make this whole thing different; blogging wouldn't be the same without you...you give it edge, take it up a notch or two, give back at a different level from everyone else, and have a heart that can hold the entire blogosphere. I love you to bits. New York awaits. Is IT big enough for us both?? We will test it----AND IT WILL FAIL :))))Happy No. 1, No. 1 :)))

congrats on the one year & thanks for the tips. why do i like coming here? you make me smile even through tears, i feel like can relate to your stories and your humor. thank you for that & for being so supportive in bloggyland.

(ok I couldn't stop in and comment - cos I normally freeload and don't actually comment but just read and leave.... oops, my bad - without saying you are so warm, so funny and SOOOOO SO SO on the money about what you've learned *nods* Ho boy, if I knew then what I know now... four years in to my blog and let's just say, I've snapped some driftwood in my time....)

Of course, like everyone else, I enjoy reading your stories. You have a unique way of cutting to the funny, or the ironic, or the touching with a surgical efficiency. Brilliant.

I started following you very early on after I started my blog; after you left a comment on something I'd written, and although I don't comment every time, I read everything you post (sorry about the run-on sentence).

But most importantly, for me, is the friendship you have shown me outside the blogs, through email. I look forward to hearing from you and always enjoy our exchanges. You have been kind and generous with your time. I appreciate it.

I love the kids comments, and I am jealous of your never ending supply of fresh material taht walks through your door every new school year! Damn, my kids had better up their funny quotient or I'll have to bring in a "blog family' to stand in for them!

Happy Blog Anniversary! I think your blog is fantastic! I enjoy reading the school stories because I have a feeling that my son will have a whole book of stories written by his teachers. It's nice to laugh when its not your kid. LOL and the letters you write to your daughters? Yeah, I've got a prissy pants of my own. She's only gonna be 7 but she's trying to take my throne away and I'm still learning how to deal with it. Love the blog! Have a great day!

I just recently found you...and you keep me coming back with your humor! I taught high school pre kid and while they are a decade older, your kindergarten stories are all too similar to my 10th grade ones! Thanks for making me laugh!

I honestly love it all. Sassy and Bitchy are my favorites. But I love the school kids. That child that would dress herself, (I know her name, but I won't say it here.) she stole my heart. and I really just love you. You are real. I like real.

about the advise, I agree with most of it. But we use real names in this blog, unless it's about a person that isn't related to us and then we ask permission. I can't be real if we don't keep it real across the board. Just saying....

What do I like it most over here at your place? Hard to say one thing. I think readers like a variety of topics and stores and YOu always provide that with your own special brand of perspective and humor.

My faves, naturally, are the kid stories. They're just too cute, and your take on it is unique and lovely, and how much you care about the kids shines through.

I come here to get a laugh. I need laughter in my life. Lots of it, and I prefer getting the good stuff from a pro. (Did that sound nasty?) You are a lovely person, and that shines through too. And you would undoubtedly be a gas to hang out with.

You have accomplished a huge thing in only a year. You have almost a thousand followers, and countless readers who prefer anonymity. It's only been a freakin' year! You rock.

I come to your blog each day because you are a "real" person, it's that simple. You live a real life that is often funny, often sad, and often chaotic. But it is REAL! There is no bs, just great writing that draws me back daily, time after time. You know I just posted my 300th post last week-end and I asked myself, "how in the hell did that happen". We all have stories to tell and some of us have that need more than others. I truly am grateful you share your stories! Take care!!

I enjoy (meaning LOVE!) EVERYTHING you blog about. However, I think it's a little embarrassing that every time I visit, you have EVEN MORE FOLLOWERS than the last time, but hey... Whatever works for you.

I enjoy your stories about school the most, mostly because I can relate so often.

Sometimes I wish you posted a bit more about YOU - your emotions, your opinions, your reactions to the vignettes that you post. But I also understand that this blog is crafted more as a funny/entertainment Erma Bombeck-ish blog (that's a compliment!), so I understand if/why you don't.

And I know your advice is "short" entries, but I often wish your entries were longer. So there. :)

happy blogesversary vm! what do i like here? mostly i like to read about sassy and bitchy. don't ask me why either. maybe i am just thankful they don't live with me! (kidding!) but somehow it's always fun here. well, that and the open bar on the side... just sayin'.

A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking around like this?'

The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff ...

I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.

We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... So I did.

Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants.... So I did.

Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts....so I did.

Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy.. '

Congrats on a year! You really have touched a lot of people in a very short period of time... amazing!

I liked your blog advice. I think blogging is so personal for everyone. We all do it for different reasons. My motivation has changed over the past 15 months, who I enjoy reading and why. I'm sure it will continue to evolve.

I enjoy anything you choose to post. I think that's the thing. You find someone you relate to or you simply like for reasons you can't even articulate... so you follow them. Some days the posts are my interesting than others [for all of us], but it's about the supporting the person writing the post. For me... You're genuine and humble. We all have an ego in this blog world, but yours is in check. I like that. I like you. :)

Well congrats on your one year anniversay. Today is my first visit to your blog...visiting from sits. Just wanted to say thanks for the lovely tips, they are very honest and thoughtful. I'm sure they will come in handy!

I found your blog last August, back when I started my first (now retired) blog, and have loved following you ever since. You were only blogging a few more weeks than I had been and you have a gazillion followers and seem to have been established forever... a testament to your talent :-)

I like all the stuff you post, but I think I like your stories about your family best, the more colorful the better.

Oh dear. I was all prepared with a funny story until I processed what you've said... I refer to myself and my family by name regularly. Everyone else gets an acronym based on whatever sort of shenanigans they're up to.

Happy day to you, VM! I personally love the letters you write to your daughters... it takes me back to my own childhood days and, many times, causes me to shoot whatever i'm drinking out of my nose. :)

And I'm also wondering how you should go from using your families' names to not using them. I've been using my husband's name for a while now - and sometimes my brother or a friend's name. How can i change it now??

You rock... love it all... I will say ditto to your list of 'learned'. How hard was it to 'start-over' when you did. I wish I had changed and not put real names and places in my blog...but don't know if I have the energy to re-do...

Happy Blogoversary and you are looking fabulous for 1 :) You are the teacher we all wish we had (or wish our kids had) - warm, funny and wise (and a lovely friend who reaches out beyond the blog to boot) *raises a martini* x

Happy Blogoversary! You can pretty far in 1 year. 10x farther than I (and I thought I was doing pretty good).Reasons why I come here:1. In hopes of getting link love to your huge audience (just kidding, but that's the funniest story I have right now).2. I love to read you. You make me laugh with stories of your class and always have a great take on things. You bring a smile to my face nearly daily and for that I am grateful. I also like your not so funny posts. They make me feel, understand or relate.3. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT ~ I come here because you are really a special person with some great things to share.

BTW, I can't wait for Blogher and hopefully a chance to meet you. You are on my ultra cool, must have a drink with list.

Happy anniversary, Vodka Mom. Great tips. I read all your posts, but sometimes don't comment. I really love your teacher stories - they usually remind me to pay attention in my classroom to record the sweeter moments of my day.

Thanks so much for being part of the bloggy community. I'm happy to know you and wish you every success.

Happy blog anniversary! My two favorite kinds of posts from you are: memories about your family and snippets your students say. Both are awesome -- even when they're not funny (family memories, I mean). I can't wait to meet you in two weeks! Woo-hoo!

(and GREAT advice...though, like Kate, it's so hard for me to keep 'em short.)

You are looking good for just a young thing. What do I like most about your blog? Hmmm....an evaluation. I simply can't choose one thing. I like the personal stories that make me cry and the hair stand up on my head (like the one about the nursery owner looking like your mother) and I adore the classroom stories. You crack me up with your children at home and I love the fact that you are real.

you know, I love it all. The classroom stories, the personal glimpses into your life, and your awesome sense of humor. It's inspiring. I don't have that humor...just a twinge of sarcasm that doesn't translate well to the blog world!

What I like most about this blog? YOU! You're like the sister I always wanted. And sometimes I think we must have a common relative somewhere...I mean really! We're both so...different, unique, special. Not to mention AWESOME!

You make me laugh out loud ... that is why I stop by.I found your blog through my mom's blog (Kathy's Kampground Kapers) and I see that she commented here and said she has her own bitchy and sassy ... I wonder which one I am, hmmm.

I love the stories you tell about the kids you work with. I've been working with young children for years and can relate. You have made me laugh out loud so many times. I even shared your blog with my daughter's kindergarten teacher (a rockin lady!) as I knew she'd get a kick out of it.

On a side note. I just moved back to my home town after 12 years. I went back to work for the early learning center I started at in 1995. My former preschoolers are now my assistant teachers. How did that happen?! I could so relate to the post you made about the child (aka 16 year old) driving.

Happy first anniversary! I came here through Braja's interview.. and well, well well.. you write fantastically. I tend to agree with what Braja says in her interview, you are known for the humor.. and in that area you are talented... but the depth in your writing is what I've become a fan of! Adding myself to the numerous followers of your blog.

Hey, Happy bloggy thingy. One year! How I look up to you when I am only nine months old. I just love your humour... doesnt matter what you are writing about, whether its letters to your kids, or hilarious tales from the classroom... love it too when you go all serious. have a happy one. Looking forward to the next year and cant wait for you to reach that 1000 followers! Wont be long now, girl...XXXX

In trying to follow your 5 rules, I have a problem... I am not funny. And I SO wish I was. And I suck at writing!I blog because for years I have been the 'ASK Yvonne' girl.People call me all the time to ask me 'how to's' I just wanted to save some time and say'it's on my blog' look it up!Any advise for me will be treasured!

With one child about to start kindergarten, I can only hope her teacher has your sense of humor. I love to hear the tales from the classroom. And the older kid stuff scares the crap out of me, but it's good to hear and begin processing. The family stuff gets me every time, too. Nice work.(long time lurker.)

Happy Anniversary/Birthday! I love to visit here for a good laugh! I don't have a funny story as I'm 37 wks. pregnant w/ my fifth child in 8 years (yes, I did this on purpose, but it doesn't make the end weeks of pg any more pleasant!), I just got rid of my FIL who lived-in with us for FIVE long months for pre-op/surgery/recovery on his back, & he's not my favorite to begin with, & I'm desperatly trying to get my house back in some semblance of order so the newest addition will have a bed & clothes in some place that I can actually find them. Sorry, this congrats turned into a "Tired&Cranky&Bitchy" sob story, but I came here for you to entertain me! ;) Seriously, I'll try to drop a funny one soon--maybe if my water breaks in the middle of school shopping with my four kids? Here's hoping!

I've spent the entire weekend chasing around the cutest pair of hellions you've ever seen. And crying. And drinking. And beating the hell out of Husband for no good reason (never is, poor dear)

I can't wait to give you a huge hug at Blogher.

Debbie, you're a phenomenon for a reason. I love your humor I love the kids stories I love your insight I love the variety I love your humility.

Great tips. I actually have the same questions lately. Do people grow tired of humor? Would they like something more in depth from me? Or is it nice to know places to go where you can hopefully/reliably laugh.

I just love you! Happy Blog Birthday. I enjoy all of it. I can picture your kids so I love their stories. I love your bad luck stories, and of course the kid stories. You are a PHENOMENAL teacher. I am so glad you are resiliant and can bounce. I cannot wait to read your blog each day. You need to follow your dream, publish a children's book, and gimme something to read to my own students year after year. Won't I be the cool teacher when I can tell them I know you?!!! xoxo -TallSkinnyB*tch

I have only been blogging for a little over a year and do it mostly to stay in touch with family (in other words, I have no real platform), but I love it so much and have enjoyed dipping my toe in the blogosphere culture. I'm still learning though.

Thank you for all your tips. I officially have broken all your rules. Is it too late to start over??

As a faithful reader, thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing a blog that is not only entertaining, but pure and genuine and amazingly inventive. I love you, Vodka Mom.

So first I will make this short, becasue long comments are as agrivating as a long post. I am a short poster myself. Not sure how I found your blog, but I can always count on you to start my day off with a short hilarious post usually involving your family!

Happy Blog-aversary!Why do I come to your blog? *because of the funny stories from school*because of your honest feelings for your kids*because sometimes your stories make me crySo I guess I can say, keep it up! You are doing a great job!

Happy Blogoversary! I didn't realize we started our blogs the same time. My anniversary passed with no fanfare on the 8th. I didn't even acknowledge it. Congrats friend! Love taking this ride with you. Can't wait to meet you at BlogHer!

OH, VODKA MOM, YOU HAD ME AT...WELL, VODKA. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE READING ALL THE FUNNIES FROM THE SCHOOL KIDS--I CAN RELATE SO WELL! IN THE TEACHER SENSE, THAT IS. I AM COMPLETELY CYBER-CHALLENGED (THERE WOULD'VE BEEN A SPECIAL CLASS FOR ME AT SCHOOL HAD WE HAD THIS TECHNOLOGY BACK WHEN GOD WAS A CHILD), AND DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HECK "LINK YOUR NAME TO YOUR PROFILE" MEANS. PLEASE EXPLAIN. PLEASE??? AND HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! MAY YOU HAVE MANY MORE YEARS IN CYBERSPACE!

Happy belated birthday...I've been a bit absent from blogging lately while I devour some teen vampire books (and yes, I DID catch that mild dig at vampire books a few days back).

As for your question, I don't think I could possibly narrow down my favorite part of your blog except to tell you that you led me down the path to be more of the blogger that I want to be (not that I actually am yet, but I least I know - unfortunately capturing our family memories and showing off my cute kids is still getting in the way).

Don't forget to tip the waitress. I really DO live on tips....

Cause I know you want to buy stuff...

About Me

I am a teacher, a writer, and the mother of three children. I've decided I'll never give up. No matter how many battles I lose; no matter how many tears I shed; no matter how many martinis I have to drink, I will continue to fight the good fight! I love to laugh, believe that every day is a new day, and thank God each morning that I am still here.