"I'm sorry to hear that the truth insults you." – Edward Snowden is a FUCKING HERO

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Oh God, No…

I’m jumping up and down while biting my fingernails here in my office like a young school girl on crack. I’m fucking panicking and honest to God, I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do. I’ve just got an email (thanks) with information that the coming update to the Nikon D700 (D800?) will actually come very close to the specs in my 5D Mark III petition, and in most areas even better. I’m told an announcement is weeks away, not months. I don’t know why I’m panicking, it’s like this came as a surprise to me, but we all knew this all along. The D700 already has most of the features listed in my petition, so it’s a no-brainer that the update will at the very least have the same features, and most likely better. Remember, it’s Nikon we’re talking about, not Canon. Updates to camera models only get better, not worse, like in the case of the fucking EOS 60D. But still, the prospect of a D800 with those features and a 24MP sensor with D700 like image quality is very scary for us here at Canon USA.

Especially since we all know how Canon Inc. keeps holding back. Just look at what happened recently with the 60D. It got completely trashed by the Nikon D7000, and quite frankly, I’m afraid we’re going to see the same thing happening again this year with the D800 and the 5D Mark III. The 5D Mark II is a sorry piece of shit compared to the D700 and the only thing it has going for it right now is the 21 megapixels and even that comes with shadow noise and banding. To be honest, I think all Nikon has to do for the D700 to go up against the 5D Mark III is put in the 24MP sensor from the D3x and they’re set. The exact same camera, just a new sensor. After 3 years it’ll still be considered state of the art compared to what Canon Inc. has to offer. Yes, we’re that fucking behind. Nikon is already getting rid of left over D700 stock right now which means Armageddon will be upon us soon.

I need to call Maeda again to discuss this with him. But just remember that if the 5D Mark III gets owned by the D800, all of you who have failed to sign my 5D Mark III petition have absolutely no right to complain! You have your chance now to complain, so when the D800 is out it’ll be too late. I can’t believe just 170 of you signed the petition, it’s fucking pathetic. I could have better spent the time it took me to make that petition trying to find hot girls on Facebook for TFP shoots. You’re fucking hypocrites, all ‘o ya!!! Except for those of you who signed the petition ofcourse, you’re cool.

Now let me go see if I can contact Frankie and Berend so we can call Maeda again.

I’m saying that in a few weeks, you may decide to just dump all of your Canon gear in the trash and get Nikon gear. I would tell you to donate your Canon gear to a homeless guy nearby, but if he heard about the new Nikon announcement he’ll just give you the finger and walk away. So spare yourself the trouble and just trash everything right away.

Read on CanonRumors the plan may be for a 27MP sensor with the 7D’s autofocus module. Which is an improvement , but quite why they need to risk 27MP is beyond me – when they could just fix the banding issues and add another stop on the 20MP sensor and have something very good.

Not sure if I should sign out of pity being a Nikonian – such a camera you’re describing would make life difficult for Nikon for probably the first time since the original EOS 5D ;P