Mom died suddenly last night.

My mom died last night. She's had dementia for about 6 or so years and has been in a AFH since January. I'm just in shock. My mom was manipulative and controlling and always looking for a way out of the home, but I thought she was a long ways from laying down and dying. I'm a mixture of a little relieved for her that she doesn't have to suffer anymore anxiety and loss of dignity. But I just can't believe it's true. I can't believe she's gone, she been the middle my sisters and I have been circulating around forever, our bottom just dropped out. I'm not sure where she is, but it has to be better and she doesn't have to drag around that broken down 88 year old body. I'm so confused and sad and don't know what to do with myself. I've been laying here like a plank since last night. Don't want to talk, nothing. Just lay here and think. I wish I could cry. Thanks for listening.

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Lookingup, I am very sorry for your loss. No matter what the relationship, death is final and a shock. Please be kind to yourself and allow your feelings to flow no matter what they are. Praying for peace! Hugs!

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lookingup, I am so sorry. Please take care of yourself and your sisters over the next few weeks. I hope that all of you can pull together and comfort each other. I know that everyone will be in shock, since your mother had been so alive.

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While you are going over all of this in your mind, please remember how lucky your mum was to have you in her life. She is at peace now, hopefully you will find some peace for yourself as well. I wish you all the very best. Xo

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Thank you so much, getting feedback is releasing the tears which feels a bit better (at least more seemingly normal, but what is normal in this situation, something I've thought about all my life and now it is right here). Mildrednewark - my mom's name was Mildred. Mildred Marcella and this is so surreal. Thanks again.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. As others have said, allow yourself time to feel the feelings and let them flow through you. Then you can take some time to take care of yourself and your new normal. {{Hugs}}

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I'm so sorry, lookingup. I can tell from what you wrote that your mom's death has come as a great shock to you. That's a normal reaction. I didn't cry either the night I found out my dad died. The tears will come eventually.

Your mom's mind and body are at peace now. Eventually you'll make your peace with her death as well.

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Looking up, My condolences, I will keep you and her in my prayers tonight. Take a deep breath, cry whenit comes, or don't, either way is ok. Our mom knew you loved her, you were there for her, that is all that counts, let that comfort you. Allow your self to relax, spend some time tending to you, take a walk, chat with a friend or your sisters. Eventualy you will complete your grieving and be in your new reality. I wish you a joyful life. Regards L

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