Beware of these imposters

If I were a computer hacker, I would sabotage the blogs of my rivals: 1. Lets Go Ride a Bike; 2. Copenhagen Cycling Chic and; 3. Bike Snob. Curse these imposters!
Nowhere does Let’s Go Ride a Bike acknowledge the input of its silent contributor, the main author’s husband/boyfriend/partner, who “Dotty” drags about Chicago photographing her as she imagines she is. In the genre of New Woman media, males are to be silenced more surely than women were even in the decades preceding the Suffrajets. Meanwhile,women are to dress with the aim of transferring esteem from males back to themselves, by baiting them into the now shameful act called “the male gaze”. In this game of esteem stealing, the bicycle has become a handbag, or a new pair of shoes, and is frequently coordinated with one or both. Comparing a Lets Go Ride a Bike Post with, say, a Get The Look segment on Behooving Moving, makes it clear that the former has no redeeming comedic dimension. No one could deny these girls their god given right to be haughty. It’s the absence of humor that will ultimately cause this fine blog to go under. Sorry Dotty, it had to be said.

Shamelessly pandering to the fragile ego of the New Women, is Mikael Colville-Andersen, the aging ogler behind the “Cycling Chic” blog franchise. Sure, I love Mikael’s unauthorized hidden cam shots of every attractive women he sees on the street. What red blooded male wouldn’t! But under any other circumstances, his photos would have found him in court. Instead, by a slight of hand maneuver all perverts must stand and applaud, he is flown around the world to speak as a keynote. Billed beside genuine thinkers, this imposter stands up and says, “Um, der, you all should be like Copenhagen, where bicycles are just taken for granted, like washing machines.” Mikael, you can keep Copenhagen, and its washing machines. The thought of having to pedal at 10km per hour in a sea of cyclists with flat tires who smoke, with you in the shadows snapping off hotties, actually makes my city look like cycling utopia. As a complete aside, this interview shows Mikael to be a pretty reasonable guy, with an eye for the ladies of course;)
The most intelligent star cycling blogger (after myself), most would say, is Bike Snob NYC. And yes, he’s hilarious. He must never stop blogging. But he does have a dirty little secret, that it’s time I revealed. The snob is not a New Yorker. His frequent references to incidents on and around the George Washington Bridge betray him to be from New Jersey. Those who live on Manhattan, would have little cause to ever cross the George Washington Bridge, and they have a name for people who do—those suburbanites trying to have the city and the big house as well. “Bridge and tunnel” they call them. During my albeit brief, semester long stint at Columbia, living on the Upper West Side, I quickly learned not to associate with “bridge and tunnel”, especially those from New Jersey, lest I forfeit my social standing with Manhattan’s in-crowd, who actually live on Manhattan. I should add they live as far South of the George Washington Bridge as they can afford to! No wonder Bike Snob doesn’t reveal his identity. He would be stoned at the off-ramp by real New Yorkers, outraged by his masquerade. When not at his computer, this imposter spends his days being snobbed by those living in the city he pretends he is from.

Worst of all, none of these imposters are independent. Ours is a consumer driven society. I don’t have exact stats, but am confident a sizable portion of google searches are in search of product reviews. From my own experience, I know product reviews generate web traffic to a bike blog. It is clear from their sites that the three bloggers mentioned are basking in gratuities and advertising payments. Even Bike Snob’s snarky reviews can be seen as a lour, bringing readers to his paid-for, very partial reviews, like this one of Elektra’s Ticino.

Maybe this is just a case of sour grapes, from someone jealous of the hits these long standing bloggers receive for having gotten in early. More likely, I would suggest, Behooving Moving will grow to receive the thousand hits daily that it deserves, in recognition of my sheer intelligence and propriety in all matters cycling related, while the above blogs will all fade into nothingsville. I thank you all for spreading the word about this authentic bike blog.