Or, welcome to my low-maintenance heck.

Pictured: The beatdown that results from failing to heed the above advice.

The Iranian regime absolutely loves protests that have a destabilizing effect on the West. They love it so much that they've been known to set up their own officially-sanctioned (notice the beginning of the captions) little protests inside of Iran -- and, we've argued in the past, beyond its borders -- at times hand-picked by the Mullahs to be convenient to their continued aim of destroying the rest of the world.

Don't think for a second, though, that such protests illustrate a legitimate opinion of the regime, because whenever Iran's citizens get it in their mind that they'll carry the official mantle into areas not preapproved by the regime, such as this soccer match today, the regime responds with showers of flowers and beatdowns (but mostly, beatdowns).

An Iranian riot policeman beats a militia Basij hardliner during the AFC Champions League group C match between Iran's Persepolis and Saudi's Al Ittihad during their AFC Champions League group C match at Azadi stadium in Tehran on May 3, 2011. Some 300 hardliners protest at the stadium against the Saudi Arabia policies on the Bahrain Shiites uprising by chanting anti Saudi slogans AFP PHOTO/BEHROUZ MEHRI (Photo credit should read BEHROUZ MEHRI/AFP/Getty Images)