A conversation with Mum that’s not about fruit

Mum: What’s an apple?
Me: Strange question. Ask that a different way maybe.
Mum: People talk about them. Do I need one?
Me: An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Mum: Not those kind of apples.
Me: Not the fruit salad kind?
Mum: No, another kind.
Me: Are you talking about fruit?
Mum: There’s fruit ninja.
Me: Yes, there is, that’s a game. What do you want to know?
Mum: If I need an apple.
Me: No.
Mum: You’re just saying that.
Me: What do you want me to say?
Mum: I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to tell me if I need one for my phone.
Me: You have a Nokia.
Mum: Yes, do I need an apple on it?
Me: That’s a different brand. Wait, what? Why do you think you might?
Mum: Oh you know, to do different things.
Me: An app. You mean an app, not an apple.
Mum: App, apple, same thing.
Me: Not even close.
Mum: It’s all fruits salad to me.