As you may know, I’m a big fan of learning, since the more you learn, the more value you can offer to others. I read a lot, and also listen to audio books. I recall Wayne Dyer telling this story; it relates to what happened to me recently.

After writing a book, Wayne was reading through some “fan” mail, and found two letters with opposing viewpoints. One said his book was well written and helpful, and the other said he hated it and that Wayne should give up on being an author.

Events such as this might have inspired this quote:

What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of other people. ~ Wayne Dyer

Shot through the heart?

I recently received this comment on one of my sales blogs, here’s a copy of it via screenshot. It’s in the black box directly above the blue button that says “approve.”

Scamming? By offering a free blog?

If I was a scammer, wouldn’t I be over exposed as such, or even penalized in some way? Wouldn’t I have had to find another line of work after all these years? Would I have tons of credible references and positive testimonials if this accusation were true? Or did I selectively scam, in that I rip some people off but deal fairly with others in order to stay afloat?

It should be noted that this person created a vulgar (and fake) website address to post this comment. Would it be wise to take criticism from someone with such poor character seriously?

Why would I ever approve this? And to find out why this didn’t bother me at all, read this.

This type of juvenile behavior occurred while I was a number-one salesperson, a professional drummer, and now as a sales strategist & life coach. Coincidentally, it has happened every time I was successful. That says something doesn’t it?
Instead of knocking others for their success, such people should work on themselves or try to make a more positive contribution to society.

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
~ Wayne Dyer

Hater-ade

Such people are incapable of offering constructive feedback as to how they think I might improve, or even any critique of the actual blog article. They’re so hurt by past disappointments in their life, that they can only spew negativity.
Should I give up all the positive I accomplish, all because of one hater? Should I question my career path? Of course not.

Their Actions Reflect Them; They Do Not Have to Affect Me

This person is obviously discontent about something, causing this ill-mannered behavior. Incidentally, I easily discovered the identity of the person who made this remark. They were never a client nor have they ever paid me a dime.

Oh, and I should also mention that this happens to be the very same person who spoke to me about wanting to be a sales trainer in the insurance field, exactly where I made my mark and was a featured speaker on a sales & marketing tour. This is why, in all things, I always consider someone’s motive before reacting.

Conflict cannot survive without your participation.
~ Wayne Dyer

Success Comes in Cans, Failure in Cant’s

The more successful you become, the more this jealous negativity might rear its ugly head, so when this occurs, what do we do? I’ll tell you what you shouldn’t do, don’t get mad or get even. That’s only lowering yourself to their level. Instead, we can choose how we’ll respond if this type of situation arises.

Here are three positive ways of dealing with negativity:

1: You can show

Use this as an opportunity to be the better person. Don’t hate or hurt back. These types of people are already hurting, similar to bullies. Show compassion and don’t let them get to you. Lead by the right example.

2: You can grow

Try to find something in negative criticism that will empower you to learn and grow. Sometimes if we’re offended, it means that deep down in our heart and soul, these harsh words have some truth to them.

3: You can know

You can decide in advance how to respond. You can ignore it. You can offer advice so they might grow, if their willing. You can be humble and say that you are sorry they feel that way, and that you’ll strive to do better in the future.

Let it inspire you to do better or prove them wrong entirely. Hey, if not for that post, I wouldn’t have written this blog.

Love > Hate

Can you please everyone? Never. And those who dislike you may never come around to your way of thinking, but that’s on them, not you. That is, as long as you are leading by a worthy example.

If you can positively impact one person, that’s more than many others try to do, so keep doing it!

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
~ Wayne Dyer

3 Responses to Embrace the Hate! 3 ways to deal with negative energy

Hey Rob,must say a truly interesting blog.So many issues point to specific incidences in my life and different small business undertakings I have been part of.You have a strength of or resolve that is remarkable,when the immediate reaction,or my reaction would be anger.But your points are well taken aand carry weight with others like myself,if not with the actual accuser,who I would have to say he is left totally shaken and unsure of his next attack strategy.Topnotch Rob!Buddy Sal