Looking at Ronnie O’Sullivan to cost £1,000 per glance

Money-motivated snooker player Ronnie O’Sullivan has today announced a new tariff system to cover every aspect of his life.

The former World Champion, who recently refused to complete a 147 break as he wasn’t going to paid enough to do so, told a press conference that he had decided that everything he did would now cost money. ‘You want to look at me, it’ll cost ya’ he announced. He went on to explain that breathing the same air as him will now cost £100 per inhale, mentioning his name down the pub will cost £50 per time and thinking about him will cost the thinker £10 per brain-cell utilised.

However, journalists were left wondering how much he was going to charge for actually playing snooker, as no-one was prepared to cough up the £5,000 it now costs to ask him a question.