PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."

I still want to see Lyn & Karlyn fight to the death when they realize they're not getting a million each and can't stand to split it. Last one breathing gets the check. So I guess I'm rooting for them. That way, nothing that can possibly happen during All-Stars can even lightly twinge.

(We call that a Landru bold.) Courtesy of the Jets getting their green rears comprehensibly kicked in near-record time, we now join this fiasco, already in complete lack of progress. Possibly even regress.

Find clue in one of two parks near church. Clue has a picture of the Eiffel Tower, so we're going all the way back to TAR1. Flights out at 6:00, 7:05, and 7:25. R&K get the last seats on the earliest flight. L&K immediately seek out the latest one. T&J have a fight about not booking seats with nowhere near enough advance time for an Internet hit. The word 'dude' is repeatedly invoked.

All you really need to know about this segment is that the show is trying to give L&K the fastest redemption edit in history. We can feel the importance oozing from them. Or maybe that's the slime. Go to the Tower, get a clue, go to Caen by train (everyone on the same one), skydive Roadblock, take the train back (everyone on the same one after a bit of Bolo & Lori confusion with ticket sellers forgetting the first part of the connection arrived earlier), and then find a square in Paris. So what was the point of going to Caen? There wasn't one. Thank you for asking. Couldn't they just have skydived into a pillbox? 'cause this finale is putting people to sleep.

Paris detour: haul a painting through the streets (no one) or make a jacket with pattern and pins (everyone). T&J, our fashionistas, complete it first and learn we're finishing up in NYC, so we really are back at TAR1. This is followed by a airport scramble: L&K come up empty at Orly, and the earliest flight is out of De Gaulle at 8:25 the next morning -- and completely booked. R&K manage to get past the waiting list with the million-dollar code phrase and board the flight. As we go to commercial, the other two teams are in the waiting area, hoping for a miracle. A patented Uchenna & Joyce miracle.

Unless it's a new rule for this season, I seem to remember hearing racers mention the million a LOT to taxi drivers or airport staff. Maybe it's just you can't mention TAR- although I wonder if the Cho's Phil shirts break that rule.

Apparently L&K blew their Jesus Minutes earlier in the course. T&J make the flight from the standby list: they don't. So we've got two teams in the usual taxi race, with one jogging interruption: the globe in the Daily News building, run to the Alamo sculpture in the East Village (Astor), and then convince a taxi to take you the 56 miles to St. Basil Academy. Who's got the best directions? Who has the better driver? Who's saved enough money to pay for all this? And can L&K buy a miracle flight?

No. But Tyler & James can win a million dollars.

And thus, we can now sit back and await the next edition in February, which I'll be calling TAR-Stars in the hopes that it catches on. We can also await the flood of 'The Race is racist!' threads which will start as soon as people come up with a conspiracy theory that keeps Lyn & Karlyn off that flight.

Me too! I was expecting a 'name the countries/flags/capitals' contest at the end. On the 'Early Show' the models said there were about ten minutes ahead of R&K but as the last TAR finished showed a little mental task at the can cause a lot of delay.

Of-course there is the possibility that there was such a task but the models did it so fast that R&K still had not caught up so they did not bother to show it.

All logos and trademarks presented are property of their respective owner. This website has been solely developed and presented by Reality TV World, and is in no way authorized or connected with any network, station affiliate, or broadcasting sponsor.