Clocxit – UK Time up to two hours different for seven months of the year

1st April noon update: Hopefully those who read this article before noon soon realised that today was April Fool’s Day – sadly it could easily be true, especially when you look at the mess UK Politicians have made of Brexit.

The hour you lost at the weekend might be one you never get back – well that is unless you live in the UK. The European commission recommends that EU member states abandon the practice of changing the clocks in spring and autumn, with many people in favour of staying on summer time throughout the year.

Jean-Claude Juncker, the commission’s president, said “We carried out a survey, millions responded and believe that in future, summer time should be year-round, and that’s what will happen, I will recommend to the commission that, if you ask the citizens, then you have to do what the citizens say.”

When asked if the same citizen-voice policy applies when countries vote to leave the EU, Jean-Claude Juncker did not provide an answer.

The European commission have advised that if the UK wants to remain on ‘EU Daylight Saving Time’, they must pay the EU in the region of £35-£39 billion – many in the UK refer to this as ‘daylight robbery’.

If the UK continues with biannual time changes ‘Clocxit’, the result could be catastrophic, with millions confused as to the actual time and businesses severely impacted – especially the aviation industry.

The impact will also be felt in Ireland as the Republic could run on a different time to Northern Ireland for seven months of the year. The UK government’s draft withdrawal agreement includes a provision where the time in Northern Ireland slowly increases, minute-by-minute, as the Autumn time change date approaches, this until the time is synchronised – the so-called ‘Irish Clockstop’.

A spokesman for the UK GMT party said “British mariners historically used our time to calculate their longitude from the Greenwich meridian and we fought two World Wars to protect time from the Nazis. The EU think they can bully us into following another of their rules – well Germany will still want to sell us their cars and the French will still want to sell us their cheese and white flags”.

Jimmy Krankie, of the Scottish Knocks Party (SKP) said “Longer evenings South of the border mean darker mornings further North. In this instance we stand with England, but if it doesn’t work out, we’ll then blame England as per our manifesto.”