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Making good decisions is a big part of being alive, and has an even bigger role for the self-employed. Wouldn’t you love to know that you can easily improve your decision making skills while also improving your health, reducing your stress, and having more fun?!?

Sounds amazing, right. It is!

Relax Into It

As I’ve written before, there is tremendous power in relaxing on a regular basis. Research is showing us that when we’re relaxed, we think clearer. Solutions come to us quicker when we’re not stressed. Our DNA relaxes, too, opening up access to receptors that allow us to heal our body. The list of benefits goes on. Plus, we’re also a lot more fun to be around when we aren’t stressed out of our mind.

Decisions Come with Ease

Marc Allen is a successful composer and the multi-millionaire founder of publishing house, New World Library. (He originally founded Whatever Publishing with Shakti Gawain, which later became New World Library). In this wonderful 2011 interview with Lilou Mace, Marc candidly and humorously shares his personal journey to creating and sustaining his successful business.

If you haven’t watched this before, grab your favorite drink and enjoy this inspiring conversation. (Even if you have watched it before, it’s fun to watch each time.)

Marc has thrived the most when he made regular time for relaxation, with his attention on appreciation and hiscustom affirmations…and struggled when he forgot his practice. As a result, he’s learned to build some serious relaxation time into his business, beginning with his unique work schedule. Marc works Tuesday through Friday, after 1pm only, and part of Saturday. The rest of the time he reserves to ensure he has plenty of time to rest, relax, and watch clouds float by. His business flourishes when he makes time for this important practice.

His examples shows that you can start a great business with little money, and grow it successfully with ease. Here’s his favorite affirmation:

After watching this video, and learning how relaxation, appreciation, and affirmations can improve your business decision-making, what are you inspired to do next?Please share your thoughts below in the comments.

What does the term “getting into agreement” make you think as a Conscious Creator of your business?

I must admit that when I first read that term, I got the impression of agreeing to disagree and forcing oneself to agree even when we don’t want to (or it doesn’t feel good). The idea, itself, was not appealing.

Getting into Agreement

Several days ago, I was looking in my library for a particular book that remained elusive as I came across Catherine Ponder’s classic Open Your Mind to Receive. Flipping it open, I came to the chapter entitled, “Your Gift of Agreement”, where the author references the ancient saying…

“When you agree with life, then life agrees with you. Always there is ground for agreement. Agree and withdraw in peace.”

Even that quote left me wondering if she intends for us to ‘stuff our feelings’ and go along to get along. If you don’t dig deeper, though, you could also be left with that incomplete impression.

All of those posts were based on some profound personal and professional experiences that showed me how we *morph* the energy field around us in real-time as we shift our own energy and allow ourselves to see/feel good, no matter what is happening around us. I’ve literally experienced very dark experiences shift AS I made a conscious choice to see the good in the experience, then watched circumstances shift to reflect the good I was consciously choosing to see. Some would even call them miracles, although Conscious Creators would recognize Law of Attraction in action.

Agreement in Your Business

At some point in every business, you’ll have an experience with another person (vendor, employee, client, customer, etc.) or situation where this idea could not only make it much easier to navigate, but allow the outcome to be pleasant for all involved.

Many who are not Conscious Creators are unaware of how the simple act of deciding we have a problem keeps the “problem” locked in place. The moment we begin to decide we are blessed, and that this situation is proof of such blessings, we’re opening the door to experience the blessings embedded in the problem—and to watch the solutions reveal themselves!

We have the power to free ourselves almost from the moment of acknowledging our belief that a problem exists.

Ponder encourages her readers to agree with the good in an adverse situation, even when it’s in the past: “When you agree with a situation by pronouncing it good—whether it seems to be good for you or not—you are agreeing with the unseen good in the situation.You are opening the way for it to appear.”

Your Business Is Listening

As you open the way for good to appear, you will notice opportunities, people, and solutions that elude those who are focused on the problem(s). This is the Law of Attraction revealing itself to us in every part of our life and business! Decide you have a problem, and you do.

The more you decide your problem cannot be solved, the less likely you’ll become aware of solutions. Decide that you are blessed, that there is good abounding in your situation(s), that everything and everyone is serving your highest good, and likewise you’ll be proven right!

Ponder shares a number of stories where people came together in agreement for the benefit of all involved, but she also reminds us that we can do this on our own by ‘speaking our agreement in our own heart’.

I’ve experienced this firsthand on many occasions. One time, I was dealing with a very difficult and abusive client. She was quarrelsome and constantly changing the specifications and scope, although she seemed unaware.

In the middle of her project, when I was not about to quit, this client called me and began insulting me over the phone. Instead of responding in kind (which anyone would have said I was justified in doing), I let her speak as I opened my mind to the idea that she was a blessing. I silently spoke Ho’oponopono to myself, and she began to calm down then excused herself from the call.

Although I was shaken from the experience, I also knew that if I didn’t clear my own energy, the difficult situation with this client would prevail. Then, completing the project would be even more difficult!

I stopped where I was in my office, put my hand on my heart, and took several deep breaths as though I was breathing through my heart. (This is the way HeartMath teaches first responders to calm themselves in the middle of crisis.)

From this centered place I thanked this woman for being a blessing in my life and business. I asked for white light and angels to support this woman in whatever crisis she was facing, and I gave thanks for the unseen support I was receiving. In just a few moments, I felt calm and clear, and ready to finish the project for this client.

From that point on, every time I dealt with this client she was congenial and easy going as if she was a different person! Yet…I had not said a word to her about her abusive behavior toward me. We had not experienced any of the drama that is normally involved in confrontations. The project was completed successfully, and everyone was happy.

Difficult clients can be declared a blessing, and frustrating business scenarios can be named a success. By opening the door to seeing our most difficult business issues as a blessing, we take our focus off problems and the universe responds. Even if you don’t know what the future holds for your business, you can start now by labeling your business a total success. Today, and every day.

Ponder also shares a story of a business woman who found herself in the presence of a man who talked lack, poverty, and limitation which left her feeling impoverished. This negative focus affected her own finances, and soon she was blaming this man for her failing business. Can you relate?

At some point, she remembered the power of agreement and chose to reverse her thinking, look past his negative attitude, and agree with the well-being in her situation.

She said to herself: “This man is in my life for my good and for my prosperity.” Soon after, through this man, she received a lucrative business referral. Then, he faded out of her life by moving to a distant city. Nothing changed for her until she changed her own attitude, and declared the good in this man and her situation.

Recognizing our power to agree with the current circumstances, imagining it working for our benefit, we soon realize there is no such thing as failure. Even the most difficult experiences teach us something about ourselves and others.

Where can your business benefit from declaring success, and seeing the good?

One of the questions on the call was, “How do we find value in the work we do?”

Since their work comes so easily to them, many creatives struggle to find the value in their art, music, dance, etc. They fail to see how much non-creatives value their fresh perspectives. Creatives open minds as well as hearts, inspiring and uplifting others.

Likewise, healers struggle to articulate the value of their offerings. Healers help those who cannot help themselves, often teaching new ideas about well-being along the way.

Just because what you do feels ‘easy’ for you doesn’t mean it has no value.In fact, the ease you feel is more likely an indication of your calling, and therefore, an even greater value to others.

If we’re unaware of our own value, it’s time to cultivate it…

Focus on past successes – One of the ways I was able to find value was to remember all the successes I had experienced in the past, from school, college, and all the jobs I held prior to starting my business. The last job I had before I started my design business was very similar, so I was able to find many examples. Make a list of the ways you’ve been of value to others, whether as an employee, self-employed, or as a volunteer.

Track appreciation – If you haven’t already started a warm-fuzzy file of positive remarks from bosses, co-workers, or clients, this is a good time to start one. You could also add it to your daily work journal. Find a way to start tracking the positive comments and responses all around you. What you focus on will expand, including the positive comments from others. In the process, you’ll begin to see your own value.

Go within and FEEL it – Whether you’re just starting out or have been in business for decades, one thing all of us can do is…get quiet, go within, connect with Source, and FEEL our intrinsic value. All of us have a unique gift that only we can offer the world, which means we ALL have value, if we’re willing to see and feel it. For some it’s how they interact with people or objects, while others are exceptionally good at communicating, or creating something new from scratch. By going within and dwelling on what makes us unique, we prime ourselves to become more aware of and capable of expressing our value.

Affirm it every day – You’ve heard me say that EVERYTHING we think, speak, and write is an affirmation. We are either affirming what we want, or the opposite. (HINT: If you don’t want what you are thinking, speaking, or writing to be true, then it’s a clue that you’re creating what you don’t want.) Create your own unique and powerful affirmations. Affirm your value, affirm your skills, affirm your uniqueness, affirm your capabilities, affirm what you like about yourself. The more you affirm about yourself, the more your subconscious is impressed with the message and begins finding ways to mirror the affirmations back to you.

Affirmations work really well for right-brain dominant creatives. However, left-brain dominant analytical thinkers often struggle with affirmations. For the latter group, I recommend Afformations – affirmative questions, such as: “Why do my clients find me/my services so valuable?” “Why am I so unique and capable?” Why am I so skilled and appreciated?”

Keep your ‘Value Pipeline’ filled – The Universe is a BIG YES MACHINE, mirroring back whatever we believe about ourselves. Any of the tools mentioned above can help you get in touch with your own value. When you look for proof of past successes, track your existing successes, cultivate the feeling of value within, and affirm it (and/or afform it) regularly, your value will be mirrored back to you.

Once your pipeline is primed, and you are feeling your value, a lot of people stop…they get sidetracked…their connection to their value dips, and they have to start all over again. Prime your Value Pipeline and keep adding successes, meditating on your intrinsic value, and affirming. When contrast comes along, you’ll find the primed pipeline helps support you emotionally, and makes you mentally stronger.

Are there other ways that you have been able to feel the value in the work you do? Share them with us below in the comments…

[This article was previously published on AffirmingSpirit.com. It has been revised and updated for the enjoyment of blog-readers.]

Recently, I wrote an article about the incredible power of decision, about how just deciding what you want can create the opportunities for that creation to appear in your life. Our decisions, whether conscious or unconscious, align us with the vibrational equivalents for opportunities and actions. In this post, I’m inviting you to consider whether you’ve made, or are ready to make, the decision to change what isn’t working in your life.

To Decide or Not to Decide: Is CHANGE the Question?

A few months ago, during a coaching session, the client brought up three experiences that were upsetting her. To her, these experiences were unrelated, but they all frustrated her. As I listened, I could hear the common thread in what she was saying: All three of her experiences reflected that she felt unappreciated for her hard work, and in some cases, disrespected by people around her.

When I brought this to her attention, she was surprised as she had not seen the commonality in her experience until that moment. I told her the good news is that she could decide to change right there, right that minute while we were talking. All she had to do was embrace the decision to change. She could begin by creating positive self-talk affirmations such as

I am respected and appreciated by everyone around me, and I respect and appreciate myself!

I allow others to respect me, and show it in positive ways!

Everyone I interact with treats me with respect and appreciation!

It’s Easier to Change Than Remain Suffering

The gal I was coaching was ready to make a change. She had reached a point where she no longer wanted to experience those same frustrations, and she recognized a long-standing pattern in her life that needed to change if she was going to move forward.

So, she embraced these new affirmations immediately, saying them with conviction and belief that she was already creating what she wanted. Within 24 hours, she reported noticing respectful and appreciative behavior all around her…particularly from the people she previously felt were not behaving that way!

Her discovery? What she wanted was all around her as soon as she was open to seeing it. While she was convinced that others were disrespectful, that is how she perceived others’ behavior and that is what showed up for her. As soon as she changed her focus, what she perceived and experienced changed as well.

When we talked afterward, she shared that making this shift in perception helped her to appreciate life so much more than before she had reached out for help during coaching. That comment made it clear to me that choosing to make positive changes is far more rewarding than staying in suffering. Our egos will convince us that change is not possible…it’s too difficult…it can’t be done…it’s better to stay where you are. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Changing is really easier than most people think, and it starts by making the decision to change.

Are You Ready for Change?

In the above example, if she had not been ready to change, she wouldn’t have been able to do the affirmations with feeling and would not have seen any changes. She may even have found excuses why she didn’t have time or energy to say the affirmations…or kept forgetting to say them. This is just resistance to change. Most people think change will be too painful, but the truth is NOT changing is often more painful.

How do you know you are ready for change? You can feel it. You know you are ready when you realize what you are experiencing is not working for you, when you are open to suggestions for shifting (like saying affirmations), when you can feel your life could be better and you are no longer willing to repeat the same mistakes. You can feel it inside yourself that it’s time…and, if you aren’t sure you can do it by yourself, you begin considering reaching out for help.

Likewise, when you aren’t ready, you’ll find all kinds of excuses to not reach out for help. Suddenly, you’ll create tons of reasons that tell you, “now isn’t the right time”. Follow what feels best to you, and you will take action when it’s the right time for you.

This is Your Life: There’s No Wrong Answer

Keep in mind that there is no wrong answer when it comes to your life. If you are choosing to stay where you are, that is because it is right for what you need to experience in this moment. As soon as you are ready to embrace change, you will find the help you need and begin taking appropriate steps.

In the meantime, love and accept yourself for who you are and how wonderful your life really is!

[This article about the ultimate commitment was previously published on AffirmingSpirit.com. It has been revised and updated for the enjoyment of blog-readers.]
The Ultimate Commitment is the most important commitment you will make in your lifetime.

When we think about important commitments in our lives, we usually think of things like marriage, children, career, family, and so forth. No doubt, all of those are important, but what is the value of these commitments when one isn’t living well, not eating healthy or exercising, have no time for yourself or your thoughts, and are in a constant state of stress and/or survival mode?

The Ultimate Commitment

The ultimate commitment is the one most often forgotten: Commitment to Self. When I use the word Self, I am not talking about mindless selfishness or the-world-revolves-around-me narcissism. I am talking about the commitment to all of you: Your body, mind, and spirit, and the on-going well-being of all three. Another term for this is self-care.

Making the Time
Women, particularly, often find it easier to commit to helping others than to helping themselves. The irony is that we are really failing those we love and want to help when we haven’t taken care of our own needs first. The woman who makes certain she has regular self-care is not only happier, but also the one who then has the most to give others.

Your overall well-being, including mental attitude, nutrition, exercise, relaxation, and good sleep are the foundation for creating success in other areas of your life. A small amount of time each day invested in taking care of all of you, body-mind-spirit, will pay rich dividends. When you nurture these aspects of who you are, you will feel a deeper sense of gratitude that connects you better to those around you and to your passions. Your commitments to marriage, children, career, and family will feel like less of a burden, and more of a blessing. Everyone around you benefits.

Taking care of oneself is actually one of the least selfish things you can do.

Change the World
Looking for a way to build a better world? Begin where you are by focusing on making yourself happy. The ripple effect will transform those around you, and those around them, and so on!

When I was a newly-single mother trying to juggle a full-time job with motherhood, I was fortunate enough to participate in a single-parenting support group. The first session, the counselors told us that we each needed to find time for ourselves everyday to fill up our ‘Mommy’ bank—that never-ending source of unconditional love and support that our children need and draw upon.

At first, this made no sense to me and even seemed selfish. But, then I started noticing…on the days that I had a chance to exercise or have quiet time to myself, I was much happier around my son and his behavior seemed more manageable. What appeared as better behavior was, in part, due to my calmness around him coupled with an enhanced ability to cope when issues arose. Both of us benefited when I committed to my own self-care.

Since that time, I have made a commitment to take care of myself, and have watched my son grow into a happy, motivated, high school junior. There were ups and downs along the way, but what kept me sane and grounded was the time I took to take care of my body, mind, and spirit. I’ve never regretted the time I took to take care of myself so I could be a better parent, but I can’t say the same about other activities.

The Self-Care Secret
Recently, the Oprah Winfrey show featured women who looked young for their age. All of them had these things in common: They had positive mental attitudes, exercised regularly, took good care of their skin, and spent their days doing things that they truly loved. The show was incredibly inspiring, and proved that taking care of yourself not only makes life more enjoyable, it keeps you looking younger, and makes you more healthy!

If you are feeling resentful of the demands on your time, this is your wake-up call to make a shift. Take time to notice what’s working, and what’s not. Release what is no longer working for you, and make a plan to do more of what is working for you! I can’t make this change for you. Your neighbor can’t make any changes. It’s all up to you.

Your current and future health and well-being rest on your commitment to self. Regardless of how much you have to change, the good news is that you don’t have to do it all at once. Start by making one change a week. You can easily change one aspect of your life this week, and get the ball rolling.

Affirming Your Best
One of the best ways to nurture a positive attitude is by creating and using positive affirmations. Feeding your mind a steady diet of positive thoughts is a very powerful and effective way of building your self-esteem and creating positive change for your life. The brain does not know the difference between reality and perceived reality, so as you read and say affirmations repeatedly, the brain begins to see it as reality.

Even more important is the emotion behind those words and thoughts. Heart science has proven that positive thoughts combined with emotion causes our heart, and the electro-magnetic field it generates, to vibrate in coherence. This coherent state causes all the organs of the body to function better as well as the release of beneficial hormones in the brain. Our body literally *shifts* energetically to embrace positive change!

Change, in itself, is neither good nor bad. Change is what we make of the experience. For example, underweight people might be happy for weight gain, whereas overweight people would not be so enthusiastic. How you feel about the change in your life is key to how you will experience it.

Change can be daunting unless you prepare your mind for the process, which is precisely what affirmations can do for you. When you say your affirmations, do you feel uplifted and happy? If so, you know that you are ready for that change to take place. If not, either the wording of the affirmation or it’s intention, the meaning behind the affirmation, is not aligned with what you really want.

For instance, if you say you want to lose weight, but sub-consciously feel it’s too difficult, then no amount of affirmations will allow you to experience weight reduction. The counter-intention (that it’s too difficult) is too strong!

When you are able to recognize the need for change(s) and feel motivated to experience them, you are at a place where affirmations will be most effective in helping you make the change. The good news is that you can’t really make a mistake, so it’s worth reaching for the experiences (and affirmations) that make your heart sing.

Not motivated, yet? Don’t beat up on yourself.

Procrastinating—or not feeling motivated to take action—is just a sign that your vision and your reality are not quite aligned. Relax and think about what you really want. When you are ready, inspiration and motivation will be effortless, as will be taking the appropriate actions. We’ll be there for you when you are ready to make the Ultimate Commitment.

[This article about affirmations first appeared in the AffirmingSpirit Newsletter in 2004. It has been revised and updated for the enjoyment of blog-readers.]

Regardless of what we want to accomplish or experience in our lifetimes, we need to have, and know how to use, the right tools. The proper tool not only assists you in doing the job right, it makes the process much easier. So it is with daily affirmations—a powerful tool to shift your attitude, energy level, and motivate you to make life changes.

The Origin of Affirmations

The exact origin of affirmations is unclear, although only the priests and elite members of ancient societies had the ability to read and write. It is believed that illiterate masses were taught snippets of scripture or prayer to repeat while doing their chores throughout the work day.

We can affirm a positive or a negative, so for the sake of this post, I’m referring to positive affirmations. What we focus upon, we expand…and affirmations allow us to consciously choose our focus.

In the 1800s, Émile Coué (French psychologist and pharmacist) became famous worldwide for his life-changing ‘auto-suggestions’. He was noticing that, despite being given the same medications, some of his patients were healing more quickly than others. As he talked to his patients he discovered that those who healed the quickest were very positive about their health and had very positive self-talk. Those patients in poor health spoke mostly about their problems and disappointments. Noticing this discrepancy, he wondered if he could teach his patients with poor health to have better self-talk.

Coué developed one simple affirmation, that he called an auto-suggestion, which he gave to all his ill patients along with their prescriptions:

Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better and better!

It soon became very clear which patients were using that affirmation, as they were the ones who quickly recovered! This is one reason that this one affirmation has become one of the most famous and often quoted. Mr. Coué went on to write and share his idea of auto-suggestion, which today we call affirmations.

Like any tool, affirmations work best when used properly and regularly.

The Most Powerful Affirmations Are:
1. Written in the present tense as if what you desire has already appeared in your life.2. Contain positive wording and do not contain words like no, not, don’t, can’t, won’t, etc., or words relating to what you are choosing to leave behind.3. Evoke joy or an uplifting emotion when you read them. If they make you smile or giggle, that’s good, too!

Every human being is unique, so I have found that the best affirmations are those that are customized for each person’s interests and emotions. Are there some generic affirmations that feel good to read? Sure. But, they easily become ineffective because they stop producing a positive emotional response. If you have been doing affirmations without seeing a result, check to see if they adhere to the three guidelines above.

Here are the 5 ways that daily affirmations can be most effective:

1. Focusing/refocusing your attention
You attract into your life what you think about, and yet life in the 21st century is so fast-paced that we are constantly bombarded with conflicting messages. This is why so many people have chaotic lives. How can anyone stay focused on positive thoughts? Properly crafted affirmations help you stay focused upon, or refocus your attention upon, your consciously-chosen subject(s). Saying, reading, or thinking your affirmations every day will keep you on track, or get you back on track, with ease.

2. Shifting your attitude/energy
Scientists tell us that the world is made up entirely of energy, and that we can impact that energy with our thoughts. The energy you carry in your body can either be stressful and unhappy, or it can be joyful and uplifting. These thoughts that evoke emotions trigger the release of hormones that alter the chemical make-up of your body. The good news is that we get to choose which energy we want to carry, and we get to choose how we respond to external stimuli. Affirmations that evoke a positive or uplifting feeling are the perfect tool to ensure that you are carrying the kind of energy that makes you happy. The longer you use such affirmations, the more your body and mind will become accustomed to that energy. Over time, being joyful and happy will become a habit you won’t want to break! The next time you are feeling blue, start saying some of your favorite affirmations and you will see how quickly your energy shifts!

3. Releasing old thoughts that no longer serve you
All of us have, at one time or another, experienced something we’d rather not have experienced. As a result, we may have developed some thoughts or attitudes that keep us stuck in that past experience. For instance, someone who was not popular in high school may have convinced themselves that they don’t deserve appreciation or admiration from others. Of course, this is not true, but a past belief—so embedded into your mind that you don’t consciously think about it—can be dictating your present choices and attitudes. Such a person could begin with affirmations like… I naturally attract relationships with people who appreciate me…Everyone I know and meet loves to interact with me…People naturally enjoy my company and I enjoy being myself!

4. Creating new possibilities for happinessAbraham, as seen in The Secret, has said that when you focus on what’s wrong in your life you only create more of what’s wrong in your life. However, if you momentarily ignore what you see around you and consciously focus on what you’d prefer to experience, you will, in that moment, begin opening the door for the new possibility of your preference. The mind does not know the difference between reality, a past experience, or imagination. Affirmations allow you to use the power of your imagination to create new possibilities for your future happiness. Some people consider this praying, and in fact, it is believed that affirmations were first created when simple prayers were memorized by illiterate churchgoers. Worry and anger is praying for what you don’t want. Positive affirmations are praying for something you do want.

5. Attracting consciously rather than by default
Most people are taught that life is hard and everyone has to struggle for everything from happiness to money. This is just a past thought that has been passed along through the generations. As a result, most people expect to be miserable and have problems, and they attract just that. When you write your own affirmations, you get to choose how you want to feel and experience your life. That conscious choice, and the effort you make to say your affirmations regularly, means you are no longer living your life by default—tolerating whatever comes your way. Instead, your attention, energy, and thoughts are all focused in the same direction toward what you have consciously chosen to experience. That is a powerful and effective way to create a life you really want to live!

6. Establishing a Daily Affirmations PracticeLike any exercise for the body, affirmations are most effective when used daily. Most people cringe at this thought—until they put it into action and experience the results. Initially, you may need to read your Affirmations. But, soon, you will begin to know them by heart. At that point, you can say them while you are driving to or from work, during quiet times throughout the day, and while you are exercising.

It is not uncommon that when we first say an affirmation, it might feel awkward. Some people resist affirmations because they sound like a lie. We might not feel well, or be struggling, so affirming that we’re doing well in that moment can be a stretch. But as we continue to repeat an affirmation that lights us up, our consciousness will expand to include the idea the affirmation evokes. Repetition is important for this reason.

Author and speaker Chellie Campbell likes to do hers while she brushes her teeth. That way, she’s sure to have time to do her affirmations every day! I say them throughout the day, while exercising, driving, cleaning/tidying, and whenever else I feel inspired.

Find a time that works for you, and begin your daily practice. You may be surprised how easy—and effective— doing daily affirmations can be!

7. Taking Baby Steps Versus Quantum LeapsIf you are struggling from paycheck to paycheck, it may seem strange to say affirmations like I am a joyous multi-millionaire! While it absolutely is possible to make a quantum leap from being broke to being flush with money, if such an affirmation feels wrong to you on every level, then it won’t work. It’s very important, as Abraham constantly points out, to pay attention to how you feel. Affirmations are most powerful when they make you feel happy and uplifted, or at the very least: expansive.

It is important to note here that affirmations help us expand our consciousness, and that process often does FEEL awkward at the beginning. By the time an affirmation feels like it is already happening, that is an indication that your consciousness has expanded to incorporate the new idea. So, when you commit to an affirmation every day for a few weeks, and it still feels awkward, you might be trying to take a quantum leap in consciousness before you are ready.

For those who don’t quite feel ready for a quantum leap, their best approach to affirmations might be to make baby steps using ‘bridge’ affirmations that move you incrementally toward your desire. Instead of I am a joyous multi-millionaire!, start with a baby step—from where you are to where you want to go—that feels better and more doable. In this example, imagine yourself living comfortably off your current income, having money left over, and receiving raises that allow you to live even more comfortably. Good affirmations might be…Every day I am feeling better about my income!…My paychecks are lasting longer and longer!…My income is growing every day…Money flows easily to me, and I enjoy receiving extra money! Soon, you will find your mind can easily expand to accept ideas that previously seemed too extreme.

Afformations, made well known by Noah St. John’s book by the same name, are also helpful for people who struggle with using traditional affirmations. Afformations are affirmations in question form, often starting with ‘Why’. They work because they bypass the conscious thinking mind while triggering the subconscious mind to find the answers. Examples might be…Why am I feeling better about my income? Why are my paychecks lasting longer and longer? Why is my income growing every day? Why is money flowing easily to me?

Also, repeating a single word or a few words, rather than a phrase, can also help you tap into a higher vibration while bypassing your conscious thinking mind. For instance, you might take the words ‘health, love, prosperity’ and repeat them slowly, mindfully for a few minutes several times a day, or during a meditation or while doing chores. When I do this, I find myself becoming aware of the health, love, and prosperity already present in my life.

Follow Your Intuition
The bottom line is that YOU know which affirmations feel best for YOU. Yes, you really do! When something is right for you, it feels good…joyous…oh-so-right! Focus on the choices that feel really good, let Source speak to you, and follow your intuition to your perfect path. Whether they are quantum leaps or baby steps, customizing your affirmations to your level of joy is key to their effectiveness!

Need more help with your affirmations?
Trust your own feelings, as they are your personal guide to what is best for you. If you still feel you need help, download my free Six Steps to Powerful Affirmations eCourse which will guide you to write your most powerful affirmations. Feel free to share the link with your friends, too!

Today, I have a Q&A to share. The question is long and the response is, too, but bear with me if you are in a similar situation. My intention is that it helps the questioner and many others.

As many of you know, while I support many people with my AffirmingSpirit teaching and mentoring, those who are most likely to hire me are creative and healing business professionals. I field questions on an on-going basis, and like to share those that could apply to a wide range of business owners.

Today’s question is this:

I don’t know how to manifest a positive outcome. I’m trying to reframe this situation in my mind and I am having such a hard time, so here it is unfiltered:

– my husband became 50/50 partners with what we now consider to be a bad person (I honestly tried to hold a vibration that he was a good, logical and reasonable person and truly feel that I was creating resistance by not accepting “what is” at the time…)

– In an ill-attempt to save money, they never hired a lawyer to formally draw up their contract, so the only thing that proves they were 50/50 owners is how they have run the business the last 8 years (which I do feel adequately proves that)

– in January, they verbally agreed on a buyout settlement amount where his business partner would pay my husband for his 50% of the business (this was an incredibly conservative and reasonable number that a trusted 3rd party came to based on company valuations that we agreed to because we wanted to get the hell away from him and his bad vibes).

– After this buyout settlement, we sold our home and moved 3hrs away, going into significant debt to make it all happen…all while waiting for the buyout to complete (it was never expected to not be settled by March-April timeframe)

– Since then, his business partner has dropped the amount and keeps adding bills/fees to the equation (which of course even further lowers the amount)

– As of last night, he now literally wants us to PAY HIM to take full ownership of the company. I literally can’t think straight because I cannot even begin to comprehend what is going on in his mind. This was a thriving business mind you, and my husband already transitioned his clients over to the business partner in good faith.

I just feel all the wrong things right now. I’m angry, I’m frustrated, I feel like he is trying to royally screw us and I guess I am just wondering…if this were you, if you found yourself in this situation, how would you manifest a positive outcome?

Most business owners will admit that, at one time or another, they’ve had an experience where they “trusted someone” in relation to their business and the situation did not work out as they thought it would. Now in my 21st year in business, I am no exception to this.

However, as a business teacher and mentor, my job is not to commiserate with you, but to help you gain a new, more helpful, perspective. So here is my take on this question, which could apply to many business owners who have an on-going issue with business partners or vendors or clients, or all of the above.

• First, I’d like to invite you to imagine that this situation, in all its drama and he-said/she said, is actually a HUGE BLESSING in your life and your business. Are you willing to open the door to that possibility, even if you don’t exactly see how to get there right now? If not, then go relax and come back when you can.

As someone who has been through this process many times, I can guarantee you this situation (and this person who is involved) is a wonderful gift—even if you cannot see that right now. When you’re ready, let’s see how that could be so…

• Secondly, it’s good in these red-hot moments to remember: Nothing is ever set in stone. Whatever we’ve created, we can re-create, because energy is always responding to our intentions. This is true for everything, including our businesses. We can conjure new emotions, new attitudes, new perspectives that replace the old ones, and we can practice the new long enough that the old begins to fade away from our experience.

If you and your husband are willing to take the time to heal the underlying issue that created this and work together to create a new, more empowering outcome for all involved, this could be one of the experiences that improves both your relationship and your financials moving forward.

• Let’s begin looking at the question itself: The first point that stood out for me is the mention of the business partner long being considered a ‘bad person’.

Conscious business owners understand that everything is energy, and that the Universe is always mirroring back what we send out via people, situations, and events. We call this mirroring effect “The Law of Attraction”. Catherine Ponder calls it the Law of Radiation and Attraction, to explain the energetic round trip.

Situations like this are the way a business owner shifts from the mainstream business of “us against them” world, to being a conscious business owner who understands the role of energy in creating results.

Whenever we observe something we don’t like, and label it (in this case: business partner is a ‘bad person’), that label and the energy behind it becomes the *signal* that we are sending out to the Universe. The label is, itself, a repetitive affirmation!!! The Universe can only mirror back to us what we send out.

What kind of mirror can Universe provide if you’ve decided that the other party is a ‘bad person’? That’s right:Universe will show you ALL the ways that it’s possible for the other party to behave badly! Sounds to me like your affirmation of ‘bad person’ has been working like a dream! (And to think people tell me they can’t get affirmations to work for them…yet they forget about all the negative affirmations they are using that overpower the positive ones!)

Remember, the Law of Attraction always makes us *right* by mirroring back to us energetically what we are sending out. Is now the time to begin sending out a different signal?

This is also how a conscious business owner discovers what energy they are REALLY sending out. Issues with business partners, vendors, and/or clients is just *information*…letting you know where your energy is coming from on this subject. Change your energy, and the world around you must shift. By law (of attraction), it must.

Ignoring this information, or blaming the other party, makes you a victim and shuts down your ability to take control and create something different. You’ll remain in deadlock until you energetically regain your power by taking ownership and taking the next-steps.

In my experience with this, the initial *sting* of taking responsibility is soon followed by a deeper understanding of why I created this experience (usually to heal a previous trauma) and then, surprisingly (!) a deep appreciation for the other parties involved for helping me *see and heal* the previous trauma. In the end, taking responsibility is freeing and leads to many good things.

• The Questioner wrote: I honestly tried to hold a vibration that he was a good, logical and reasonable person and truly feel that I was creating resistance by not accepting “what is” at the time…

Is it possible that the real source of the resistance was labeling and affirming this business partner as a ‘bad person’ while simultaneously choosing to feel good about them?

This is not about ignoring what is…as ‘what is’ is only an energetic reflection of what you’re sending out. What you are describing is actually a great real-life example of counter-intentions: Affirming one thing (‘bad person’) while simultaneously trying to force yourself to feel good about this business partner. The energies are at cross-purposes, splitting your energy, leaving you feeling the resistance. Until you pick a side and commit to that, your split energy will create a feeling of resistance within.

• The next few segments of the question focus around the legal issues. I won’t comment directly on those, except to ask a question…

What would cause us to choose to put ourselves and our businesses in a situation that could make us vulnerable in the future?

This is an important question because it might actually help us understand how this situation is really a blessing! If you cannot answer this question immediately, then just hold it lightly, as we continue to move forward. The answer will come to you, when you are ready.

As I see it, both you and your husband have an opportunity to heal yourselves, improve the situation, and strengthen your own partnership through this situation. Are you beginning to see how, then, this situation is really a gift for both of you?

• The Questioner wrote: …all while waiting for the buyout to complete (it was never expected to not be settled by March-April timeframe)

In this next part of the question, it sounds to me as if you and your husband took some calculated risks based on the decisions you had made with your business partner…aka the ‘bad person’. Calculated risks are common for business owners. The energy behind calculated risks is more important than the actions themselves. Like any part of life, if you are more vibrationally aligned with your intentions, the actions taken will likely result in a positive outcome.

The good news is that it’s never too late to become vibrationally aligned!!!

So, now that you’ve created and repetitively affirmed the ‘bad person’ business partner, and the Universe is lovingly mirroring that back to you, showing you how many ways they can be bad…was the risk of moving and starting over calculated from a place of empowerment…or from fear and ‘we’ve got to get away from this bad person?

I don’t know about you, but having my entire financial future resting on the completion of the buyout, that I never set up legally, could potentially put me in a place of desperation, victimization, with a strong attachment to the outcome in a specific timeframe.

• The Questioner wrote: I literally can’t think straight -and- I just feel all the wrong things right now. I’m angry, I’m frustrated, I feel like he is trying to royally screw us

These statements (affirmations) are another clue about your vibe…and of course, when your vibe is low, you will NOT be able to think straight. No one can. It’s physically impossible for the brain to function clearly when our vibration is that low. So, when you feel this way, don’t even try to find solutions because you are not vibrationally in the vicinity to receive them.

Go find a way to relax. Take a walk. Take a nap. Take a hot, aromatherapy bath. Cuddle with your pet(s) or children. Call a friend and get your mind off the ‘problem’ for a while. Do whatever it takes for you to find a better feeling place on this subject.

For what it’s worth, when I feel like this, a nap is often the fastest and most efficient way of releasing the energetic kink. Before I drift off to sleep, I’ll invoke ‘Easy World’ by stating, “I live in Easy World where everything is easy, including creating the best possible outcome for (fill in the blank).” Many times, when I wake up after doing this prior to a nap, I am in a much more clear space to think how I’d prefer to experience this outcome.

If this were me, this is how I would re-create this situation:

I’d start reframing this situation by having my husband and myself acknowledge our individual roles in creating the situation, because that is the place where your power to shift the energy resides. Until you do, you remain victims.

I’d remind myself that…

Abraham tells us that the greater part of us, our Inner Being, will only side with the viewpoint of Source Energy. Source sees love and appreciation in every situation. Source know the blessings abound, even in the midst of what we perceive as contrast. So anytime we are focusing in a way that Source Energy would not perceive a situation, it leaves us feeling the negative discord between our viewpoint and that of Source Energy.

…and ask myself how Source might view this situation, and how I might be able to see it the same, someday soon.

Healing Past Traumas
To heal whatever allowed us to set up a situation like this, I’d have my husband and I do the following exercise on our own…and compare notes afterward.

This is experiential, so don’t just read it. Do the following in this order…

1. Put your hand on your heart, and take your conscious, thinking energy (hovering around your brain) inside your body to the area around your heart.

2. Ask yourself how this entire situation feels emotionally to you. The descriptive words are less important than the actual physical feeling. Fully allow yourself to feel that feeling in your body.

3. With the feeling in your body, ask: “When was the first time that I felt this feeling?”

4. Usually, an immediate answer will come to you. If it doesn’t, stay with the feeling and the question until you know. Don’t be surprised if tears of relief show up upon realizing the emotional connection.

5. Once you remember the situation that felt the same, ask yourself: Based on what I know now, how could I *see this previous trauma differently*?

Allow yourself to acknowledge that you previously did not have the skills or strength to heal this trauma until now, feel the emotional charge release, let yourself cry if tears want to flow, and internally know how you would handle it differently.

This does take some self-awareness, but any adult can do this. Often, we are only provoked into healing a past trauma when a crisis makes it necessary.

6. Know that this whole situation and the person(s) involved are here to help you heal THAT situation. Without them, you would not have had the opportunity to review this previous trauma from a more adult point of view!

(If either of you are like me, the original situation happened earlier in your life when you were either too young or too inexperienced to know how to fully process your feelings. So, those feelings became energetically stuck in your unconscious for healing at a later time. Like right now!)

7. When you feel the charge lifted, appreciation is often the result. Silently surround the situation and parties involved with white light and love, then thank all involved for showing up ‘as the bad guy’ so that you could review this earlier life trauma from a more enlightened, conscious point of view. Feel the appreciation in your heart and stay with it as long as it feels good.

(This is the point where I often feel DEEP appreciation and am humbled that someone would be willing to play the ‘bad guy’ role in order for me to heal. Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage,” and I see us as the writer, director, and primary actor of our whole life, with others playing the supporting roles. Also, I see this as a HUGE blessing…how about you?)

Now is a good time for you and your husband to share your discoveries with each other. You may each be surprised that the emotional trauma was different for each of you, but they still *brought up emotions that needed to be healed* in relation to this situation.

In the past, when I’ve done this process, I’ve discovered parts of me that felt unheard or unappreciated or unsafe. The moment that I was able to connect emotionally to a past trauma, I realized that the current ‘crisis’ was not about the other person, it’s ENTIRELY about me recreating past trauma!

Nothing ‘out there’ can ever hurt us. Our true source of suffering is our faulty beliefs we have going on inside of us. A Course In Miracles (ACIM) tells us that the outside world is an illusion, just a reflection of the meaning we’ve applied in our inner world. When we shift our inner world, the outside illusion will also shift.

After taking responsibility and healing my past trauma, my energy becomes remarkably clear. From this space, I’d begin re-imagining the preferred outcome. (If you have not read Neville Goddard’s approach to changing the past through ‘re-visioning’, check it out in Chapter 3 of The Law and the Promise.)

This ‘re-visioning’ is an exercise that you and your husband can work on together. (Hint: If you’re stuck, start by writing everything you don’t like on separate lines, then next to each write the opposite of each item. The ‘opposite’ of contrast is pointing you toward what you prefer. Take the bounce!)

I’d also begin making a list of how this experience was a blessing, starting with:

1. The situation allowed me to acknowledge a past trauma I had forgotten2. A chance to heal that past trauma and see it with new eyes3. An opportunity to create something better through transformation4. (keep adding to the list, as the blessings show up)5. …

I’d call upon the ancient Hawaiian technique of Ho’oponopono to further clear my energy around the subject, and infuse it with love and appreciation. Not only have I found this to work, but I find that it is very pleasant to experience.

Florence Scovel Shinn said something like, Divine Love is the most powerful chemical in the Universe, dissolving everything that is not of it. Wow, that’s powerful. For that reason alone, I’d find reasons to energetically flood all parties involved with Divine Love, including myself!

In my experience, when I felt that I needed to deliver a message to someone but knew they would not be open to hearing it from me, I envision them receiving the message from someone else from whom they would be able to receive the message. I don’t need to be the one to deliver it, and I don’t need to dictate who will deliver the message, as long as the message is received.

Or, I’d visualize my higher self speaking to their higher self, sharing the message from a loving and kind place.

So, I might see my business partner receiving the message that assets and liabilities are always divided equally, and that there can be no charges (liabilities) added where there are no assets also added. I’d envision that, despite the lack of a legal agreement, everyone involved chooses to be treated fairly. I’d envision this partner receiving and acknowledging that is how they would also wish to be treated, feeling encouraged to take the first steps toward correcting this situation.

Despite past appearances, or actions, I’d envision an outcome where all involved are treated fairly and honestly.

I’d envision everyone walking away with a smile and a good feeling in their heart.

I’d see the checks to pay off all debt easily being written, placed into envelopes, and mailed (or see myself paying off the debt online).

I’d feel and milk the relief of having all the debt paid off, and knowing that the energy is cleared between myself and the other parties.

I’d revisit these visions and feelings every day, perhaps several times a day, and every time I thought about this person or situation, I’d review my list of blessings until I felt an emotional shift. Then, in this better-feeling place, I’d revisit the positive outcome visions again.

I’d milk all the positive emotions in other aspects of life and business. Despite how we might feel like everything is going to hell in a hand-basket, the truth is that often 80-90% of our life is going really well. We’ve just been focusing on the 10-20% that’s off and letting that define our life and business! Crazy-making, huh?!?

In my experience, when I’ve taken the steps above, positive shifts take place first within me, and then they are mirrored in the world outside. How long it takes depends on me, and how committed I am to the ‘new story’ and ready to let go of the old one (including those old affirmations).

Thank you very much to today’s questioner for being vulnerable enough to ask the question, and willing to let me share this publicly on the blog. I can easily imagine that this is helping them as well as many others!

Is there anything else that you would say to this questioner?If so, please take a moment to share it below in the comments…

Do you find yourself observing life and labeling what you see as good, bad, or otherwise?

When most people think of affirmations, they think of POSITIVE affirmations. However, we can affirm a negative as easily as a positive. Whatever we focus upon and tell ourselves, or others, is a form of affirmation. How we FEEL inside when we say an affirmation gives us a clue whether it was a positive or a negative affirmation.

If a statement feels light and good to say, it qualifies as a positive affirmation. If a statement feels heavy and low vibration, then that would be a negative affirmation.

In fact, if you are often depressed or struggling to think positive, it is very likely you affirm more negatives than positives. Try reminding yourself to state more positives than negatives, and you will find yourself feeling better. Positive psychology research shows that a 3 to 1 positive to negative ratio is the tipping point for feeling happier¹.
We also affirm, either negatively or positively, when we apply labels to our situation. This matters because our sub-conscious is ALWAYS listening and acting on what we are saying (aloud or to ourselves). The good news is that we can change what we affirm and change the outcome!

For instance, recently I arranged for a friend to take me to the airport so I could attend my mother’s funeral back East. I scheduled him to pick me up so we would arrive at the airport 90 minutes before takeoff, and I set my alarm 3.25 hrs before the pickup time. Through a series of events about which I will not elaborate (I’ve learned not to expound on the frustrating stories), I managed to oversleep my alarm AND not hear the phone calls my friend repeatedly made when he came to pick me up. With the time to leave for the airport passing, I suddenly heard my phone ringing downstairs and it finally woke me up.

As you can imagine, I was in a state of panic and very vulnerable to labeling this situation a disaster when I realized I had overslept by 3 hours and could miss the plane if we didn’t leave as soon as possible. My friend is a Veteran, so his military training kicked in when he finally got me on the phone and realized I had only just woken up. To the degree that I was losing it, he was calm and collected.

He quickly parked his car in the culd-a-sac, and reassured me over the phone that we would take it one step at a time. My friend came in to help me take out the garbage, and lock up the suitcase before taking it out to the car. In my panic, shoving things in the suitcase, he suggested I postpone all non-essential actions, and put on my makeup while he drove to the airport.

When he took my suitcase out to his car, the local police were giving him a ticket for his back tire being more than 18 inches from the curved curb of the culd-a-sac (it didn’t look that far away, but I was still freaking out, in a hurry to get to the airport). This was just an unbelievable series of setbacks. My friend wouldn’t even had to park if I had been on time, so I made sure I gave him the money for the ticket.

Between my lateness and my friend dealing with the police, we were running 35 minutes behind getting to the airport.

As a side note, I am so *blessed* that I had opted for my friend to pick me up rather than a commercial car service! The latter would have called me once and left when I didn’t answer the phone the first time. My friend had patiently and repeatedly called and emailed over a 20 minute period. He even tried contacting me through Facebook, hoping to reach me. So, my best decision by far, in this scenario, was having the forethought to ask my friend if I could pay him (a single Dad) to take me there.

I hope you can imagine how frantic I was feeling, knowing how important it was for me to catch this flight. Fortunately, my friend was newly introduced to the teachings of Abraham. So, as we drove off toward the airport, he picked up on my efforts to positively label and affirm the situation.

Our conversation went something like this:

Me:(as my friend hands me the keys to my locked suitcase and starts his car) OK, we are going to get to the airport on time! (positive affirmation)

Me: Yeah, I did everything I could do in advance last night. Of course, I expected to have 3 hours to leisurely take care of the rest this morning. (based on the emotion I was feeling while saying this, it qualifies as a negative affirmation…this would have been better left unsaid)

Me: Time is malleable…it changes according to our beliefs about it. (determined positive affirmation reminding me why this was going to work out)

Friend: That’s right, it is! (supportive affirmation)

Me: I’m going to make this flight! (positive affirmation)

Friend: When is it your plane is taking off?

Me: 90 minutes from now.

Friend: Oh, then we’ll be fine! (positive affirmation) I’ve caught flights before with only 30 minutes to takeoff! (supportive affirmation)

Me: You have?!? Wow…ok, then I can relax! (supportive positive affirmation)

I must admit that as soon as he affirmed that he’d made flights with less time, I immediately felt the relief…and regained my ability to breathe normal.

And, indeed, I did get to the airport in time!

As I checked my bag, Security was to the left and past that, my gate was the first one on the right…and they were already boarding. I caught the flight, despite waking up so late, and I know that our positive focus is part of the reason why.

In my panic at the realization of how late I was, my brain wanted to label this a hopelessly BAD disaster. I was very vulnerable to falling into a trap of believing that all hope was lost, and letting my ‘label’ override other thoughts and drive other actions. It would have been easy to agree with ‘what is’ …after all, I *did* woke up 3.25 hours late.

But I am savvy enough to know the power of labels and affirming what I prefer rather than what is. I know that situations morph in seconds when we affirm with true feeling and conviction, and hold that truth in our hearts even when ‘what is’ is contradicting.

Keep in mind that I didn’t develop this skill overnight…I’ve been practicing affirming new stories for decades, and I’ve had many experiences where the seemingly *impossible* came together for me after I committed to affirming my preference.

Since our labels become affirmations for our life experiences, it’s good to pay attention to what you have been labeling good, bad, right, wrong, solution or problem in your life. There’s good news here, as labels and affirmations are not set in stone.

If you notice where your labeling has been holding you back, make the decision to change the label and begin affirming your preference over the appearance of “what is”. You’ll be amazed how quickly things morph when you recognize the need for a label change and consciously choose to affirm what feels better to you!

Do you have stories of where you changed your label of a situation, and things worked out well? I’d love it if you shared it below for others to enjoy.

P.S. While I was on the trip, I found myself telling the *story* of what went wrong with oversleeping and the police. After feeling the negative energy of that, I made the decision to drop the ‘what is’ negative story and refocus my attention on what went right.

When I returned from the trip, my friend confided that he really thought I had missed the flight, but he didn’t want to say that to me. Despite his *doubts*, he was willing to play along with my positive affirmations and even added comments that brought relief. I didn’t know he had doubts, though, so his support bolstered my own belief and alignment. Just goes to show, only one person really has to *believe* it’s possible!

Footnote:
¹Barbara Frederickson, PhD. coined this the Positivity Ratio. Learn more at http://www.positivityratio.com/

If you have been reading my blog for a while or following me on social media, you know that I am a proponent of making affirmations *your own*. If you like a generic affirmation, great. However, most people get bored with them really fast, then blame affirmations for ‘not working’. That is a lot like throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Affirmations that are customized to you are not only going to be more enjoyable to say and think (so you’ll do so more often), but they are more likely to positively shift your energy.

Alexandra used the bridging technique with affirmations, where you find a baby step or middle step from where you are to where you want to go. She graciously agreed to let me share it with you here..see my bolding below for emphasis.

Inspired by a call about identity shifting, I played around with „I am“ statements.

First I found a central one for me which felt good to think and say out loudly. As I am in the process of leveling up my business, it is „I am a very successful coach“.

Then I took some time to focus on „successful“ and define exactly, what this means to me. I wrote a long list of things that are part of being a successful coach for me – like being „well paid“ or „in high demand“. And while writing them down it felt really good and I didn’t feel any discord.

What was very interesting to me, was: When I started to make „I am“ statements with the single points of the list, I realized it felt uneasy to say something like „I am well payed“. It just felt wrong. As long, as it was „Success is – being well paid“ it worked… but „I am well paid“…

But then I found a solution, very fast. I was inspired to change the statement, by adding „this means“ to it. And suddenly it felt REALLY GREAT to say it! „I am a successful coach – this means I am well paid“ has no wobble in it for me at all. This way I can use it as an absolutely good feeling affirmation!

I went through the whole list like this and it was so much fun!! Afterwards I felt absolutely magnificent!!!

Isn’t grandiose? Sooo easy

AND: Evidences of my vibe shift showed up the same day! I randomly met two old friends of mine who both are very successful at their job and whom I didn’t see for quite a while. One just tapped on my shoulder while I was waiting in a line. The other one passed by on the sidewalk when I drove by and waved.

It’s easy for me to love this example — Alexandra started with a basic generic affirmation and followed what felt good for her until she was INSPIRED to find a solution that works really well for her.

I wish this for everyone who is just starting out with affirmations and wonders how to make affirmations that are truly powerful and life changing. Start with something basic that catches your attention, then play with it until it becomes *yours*, and evidence of your shift in energy will come swiftly. If you could use a little bit of help, download my free Six Steps to Powerful Affirmations eCourse and audios.

Thank you, Alexandra, for sharing your example with us!

Do you have some great examples of how you made generic affirmations your own? Share them with us below…

Recently, a deliberate creator asked for advice on shutting down gremlin thoughts (aka the inner critic) in an effort to “control” the vibe.

Gremlins?

Often when we talk about releasing gremlins, those yucky mean and nasty thoughts that seem to run rampant in our brain, in order to get to a better feeling place, we are talking about getting OUT of our brain and into our heart space. As you feel better, your vibration naturally increases and it’s easier to connect with better feeling thoughts. That is very helpful, when you can do it.

What about those who are finding it hard to even FIND a better feeling thought?

I just listened to Joan Borysenko, Ph.D in the HayHouse Summit explaining that the frontal lobe of our brains is not only the executive center but also the center of our awareness. That awareness, for example, is the part of your brain that ‘notices’ the emotional patterns…

‘hey, why is it that I keep thinking negative thoughts? Why do I keep doing that, even though I keep pivoting to a better feeling thought? Hmmm (silence, during which a thought from the past comes to the surface)…wow, where did THAT thought come from? I haven’t thought about that in ages! (feels a twinge in the body).’

Pay attention to the thoughts that surface with a physical feeling in the body! Those thoughts were stored in your cells, from a previous time in your life, waiting for a time when you could consciously be aware of them. Once you give your full attention to those thoughts, the physical tension associated with them will release. As you release more, you’ll notice your body feeling lighter and it is easier to navigate toward better feeling thoughts.

What I also found interesting is that Joan said our AWARENESS function in our brain’s frontal lobe has the ability to activate a hormonal drip onto the amygdala (the old fight or flight ‘lizard’ brain, center of fearful thoughts) that actually quiets and deactivates our gremlin thoughts!

How COOL is that?!? Love it! We really do have everything we need to thrive.

According to Joan, here are 3 ways to trigger awareness:1. Regular meditation – even 20 min 3x a week for 3 weeks can rewire the brain!

2.Affirmations– that tap into the deep emotional meaning behind the words, (not just the words alone, but something that feels GREAT to say it). Even a SINGLE WORD that has a deep meaning for us can work as a shortcut ‘slogan’.
3. Mindful Breathing – breathe in slowly through the nose, out slowly through persed lips as IF you are breathing out through a straw. This slows the breathing way down to 4-6 breaths a minute, and I noticed that after I release all the air, there is a delay before the next natural breath. (Men might find that they hold between the intake and exhale.) One to two minutes of this breathing is enough to trigger the hormonal drip that calms your fear circuits as you become more present. Joan calls this Gear-Shift Breathing because it short circuits the negative thoughts and puts us in a mindful space that opens us to Divine Guidance. (To me, this is also a form of meditation – similar to Vipassana Meditation.)

In my experience, the more you are used to consciously choosing and thinking supportive thoughts, the more likely you notice the not-helpful thoughts – they stick out like sore thumbs. Of course, when you are feeling good, it becomes more obvious when you are NOT feeling good! Be self-compassionate as you release the unsupportive thoughts and make room for new more supportive thoughts. After a while, you’ll see much more of the supportive thoughts and less of the unhelpful ones.

What do you think about this? Share your questions, comments, and examples of shutting down your gremlin thoughts below.