In-between preparing for next week's holiday break and organizing our game of the year lists, the Waypoint staff has been unable to shake this weird story from The New York Times that, seriously and soberly, suggests aliens are, uh, real?? With the rest of the Fake News mainstream media ignoring this important story, it was time for Austin, Danielle, Rob, and myself to weigh in. Also, machine elves. MACHINE ELVES.

Can we just get a podcast of Austin frantically reading accounts of encounters with machine elves / psychedelic trips in general? It was mesmerizing and I was bummed out that I didn’t get to hear all of it.

This was a super fun episode in general and now I kinda want an Important if True style spinoff podcast where they just talk about weird / cool garbage.

The universe is entirely too large to think we’re the only sentient beings in it. However, if there are beings intelligent enough to travel to our solar system it goes without saying they’re able to intercept all our communications. Which explains why they’ve never directly contacted us - they’ve seen Jerry Springer & his ilk!! I wouldn’t be surprised to find out they have warning beacons out there to keep spacefaring travelers safe from us!!

Dramatic readings of bonkers internet detritus is that vintage Austin Walker. Playing his old stuff from before he got signed by the big labels.

On a more serious note, I’m going to be a massive buzzkill and point out that the sourcing on the reported existence of alien alloys was unclear in that story. Did that information come out of the Defense Department’s internal documents? Were they told about the alloys by Harry Reid’s grifter friend? Did they talk to anyone who could corroborate the existence of the alloys who doesn’t own the warehouse that was paid for with taxpayer money where they’re supposedly being held?

Being the sort of person who worries about journalistic follow-through when aliens might exist is my personal burden that I must carry through this life.

Can I just say that after Austin introduced the Smushghannagah (proprietary spelling) as a massive (was it 13-volume?) tome detailing the history of this very attractive alien species Danielle was on a date with, I immediately went, “Holy s***, Waypoint spinoff of Friends at the Table!”