Monday, 25 March 2013

Endless Strife for the Housewife

(This article of mine was published in The New Indian Express - Youth Express on Friday, Dec 12, 2003).

Bidding goodbye to her dear ones, she rushes to the kitchen
to start on the unwashed dishes heaped in the sink. As she nonchalantly goes
about her seemingly endless chores, she wonders if this is all she was meant to
do with her life.

Once she does away with her domestic work, she plonks in
front of the TV, watching all the soaps, all the other nonsense they show on
TV. Weeping with the sob stories, laughing her way with the so called comedies,
she is unaware of the punishment her mind is being subjected to.

After a while, she goes to gossip with the neighbors about
the working women in the building. Or she sleeps thorough the afternoon, until
one day, she wakes up and realizes she has turned into an obese woman, looking
twice her age with diabetes and other ailments that plague her for the rest of
her life.

This is the plight of the average housewife in India.
In her bid to add that much needed zing into her drab, joyless world which
mainly revolves around mundane tasks of cooking, washing, cleaning, (all of
which we hate to think about) she finds refuge in mindless chatter, gossip and
TV programmes. How does a housewife put up with her dreary existence. The
unchanging monotony, the sameness of everyday life.

Indeed a housewife deserves kudos for the ritualistic acts
she performs day after day – serving her in-laws, taking care of the kids, and
attending to her husband’s needs while she herself is in desperate need for
some attention. The spontaneous smile that a housewife wears everyday as she
welcomes her husband and children home has to be given credit. Perhaps it is
not really spontaneous though, and has become perfect after years of practice.

Housewives fall into two categories. The first one hasn’t
had much education and is given away in marriage at an early age. This woman
finds contentment by being a dutiful daughter-in-law, loyal wife and caring
mother. She is blissfully unaware of her identity, individuality and a mind
that is truly her own. In the other category are the degree holders who become
housewives out of compulsion or ignorance. Compulsion and objection in the form
of in-laws and husbands who choose to be archaic in their thoughts and outlook,
yet want to live in a modern world with all its comforts and luxuries. For
them, a married woman earning and supporting the family is unthinkable. Why
should she, when the man gets a fat pay cheque? What they fail to understand is
that a woman goes out to work not for the money but for the satisfaction she
gets when her work is recognized. To carve a niche for herself, stand on her
own feet, feeling secure in the knowledge that her identity and individuality
are still intact, that’s why a woman needs to work.

Both categories of woman surrender to their fate, suffering
in silent isolation. She takes care of the family’s smallest needs, offering
comfort at the slightest sign of tension on their faces. An unemployed mother
expects her children to lend an ear, so she can confide in them and share the
joys in her life.

They have to understand their mother is a person like them,
who probably has the same problems and takes joy in the same things as them.
Children can be cruelly insensitive. Grappling with adolescent and teenage
problems, trying to come to terms with their sexuality and busy as they are
with their parties, dates and pubbing, they do not have time for their mothers.

As for the husband, the less said the better. His paunch is
rapidly growing, and the frown has become a permanent fixture on his once loveable
face as he is busy worrying over his promotion, bonus, arrears that are long
overdue, and the care loan that has not yet been sanctioned. He pays no
attention to her graying hair, the unpleasant dark circles, the extra pounds
let alone the menopausal blues she is experiencing.

Left in the cold, a housewife becomes a non-entity for her
children and husband. She doesn’t have a say. She slinks away, knowing her
views and thoughts do not matter to them.

But they do exist. And she is waiting to be heard. So the
next time you find your mother lounging in a chair, staring into nothingness,
just put an arm around her and let her spill her thoughts to you.

About Me

I enjoy reading, writing, travelling and listening to music. Having worked for most part of my life, I now look forward to embark on my passion - blogging. I intend to explore topics from parenting, spirituality and culture, art, women's issues to societal issues. Hopefully the blog is insightful, informative and entertaining!

About Me

I enjoy reading, writing, travelling and listening to music. Having worked for most part of my life, I now look forward to embark on my passion - blogging. I intend to explore topics from parenting, spirituality and culture, art, women's issues to societal issues. Hopefully the blog is insightful, informative and entertaining!