A very helpful police department

The Salem, Oregon Police Department reports finding a man’s body in the Willamette River, just west of the Marion Bridge. The dead man’s name will not be released until his family has been notified. The victim apparently drowned due to excessive intoxication. He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a strap-on sexual device, and an Obama T-shirt. The police removed the Obama T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.