SIMPLE WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU ARE WITH THE WRONG PARTNER

No doubt, relationships and marriages are tough and complicated sometimes, this we all know. While there could be no one single and encompassing way to assess every relationship due to our diversities as humans, there are many ways to know if you are with the wrong partner or the right one.

Most times, situations in the course of dating someone pop up from time to time which may give some green light or indications that you could either be in a wrong relationship or with the right person, but sadly to say, most times we fail to ignore these indications.

Whenever you are trying to check if someone is good for you or not, never let your selfishness and ego judge your decision.

If or when you come to the realization that you are not in the right relationship, you do not need anyone to tell you, that’s the last thing you need because only you can figure that out. Your intuition knows for sure exactly what is right for you even when you try to disagree or fight with it for being right.

I remember vividly when one pastor while delivering his Sunday message had said that ‘’in everything you do or venture into, honesty must come play’’. This include in your business that provides your daily meal for your family and in your relationship with your partner.

In this article, I’d written where a marriage of almost 35 years came to an end just because of display of dishonesty from the part of the husband and father.

There is nothing as frustrating as coming to know you have been dating or had gotten married to the wrong person. Leaving such a relationship while dating could be better than if already married, the pain is usually ‘’out of this world’’ during such moment.

I have read many times here in Nigeria where even after a lady discovers she’d had been in the wrong relationship or marriage all this while, she usually wouldn’t want to leave that union blaming it on the already produced kids. To me, I find this absolutely so ridiculous on the part of the woman- why manage an already bad marriage?

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Mistakes are common in the lives of humans and one made in choosing a partner is one of the most painful and terrible ones. Thus, if you are in a relationship or marriage you feel, think or have come to the realization that it’s not the right one, you probably shouldn’t try so hard to make it “work”. Sometimes the right thing to do is to pull the plug and simply walk away.

I know it sounds so easy to spew out from the pen’s mouth, but you could be doing yourself a whole lot of good. Truth is, no relationship is worth sacrificing your happiness for, none!

Many times people tend to blame their partners for being the problem or the wrong one in the relationship forgetting to take some blames or even dare to self-examine themselves to know if they are actually the right person for their partners.

What I am trying to explain here is that, sometimes while you sit down thinking your partner could be the wrong one for you, don’t be shocked that you could as well be the wrong person for him or her. It’s a two way thing analyses.

Thus, while there are visible signs you’re in the right relationship and partner, there are also signs you’re with wrong the one.

Communication between partners is one ingredient that gives or adds colour to any relationship. It is the main driving force in any relationship. While the absence of it could be a problem, the presence of it could also be the solution to solving a whole lot of issues.

A relationship with low communication is a dwindling relationship waiting to pack up.

Also, in the process of communication and one partner notices that the other lacks listening ears during conversation or always the one doing most of the talking, such traits may get the other partner infuriated and ‘’thinking’’.

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When you think the $.e.x is too good and you are afraid you may not get such from another.

While listening to a radio talk show one night about 11 pm, a lady had written to the OAP/presenter of the program requesting for advice on what to do about her relationship. She was tired of it and was so confused or let me say to pull the plug due to the good $.e.x she receives from her boyfriend of 3 years.

From this lady’s point of view, I concluded that she is a $exually active person who probably had been in other relationships in which the $.e.x was not up to her standard and her current boyfriend had been very good in that department, hence the confusion and fear of not meeting someone as good as her boyfriend has consumed her person.

But like what some people would always say, ‘’where one road ends, that’s where another begins’’.

There is always better $.e.x out there and where or when you think you’ve seen it all, there are a million and one people out there with better skills.

That is the best explanation for people with this problem of fear.

When you doubt yourself of what you are doing in the relationship.

While this may sound funny or strange, many people especially women are in relationships where they keep doubting themselves if they are supposed to be in it or not. If what you want in a relationship is not what is reasonable or not what is generally acceptable, then give it up.

Anyone who is not convinced about the relationship he or she is into, definitely it’s a sign you are in the wrong relationship, with the wrong person or probably in a relationship at the wrong time.

You are with the wrong person who still thinks about the ex.

Some people find it extremely difficult to move on after their last relationship. They make it worse for themselves and their new partners when they constantly think of their ex. Truth is, they’re not over their ex, and they fail to see that.

If someone is not over with the last person they were with, you’d find them always referring to their ex in discussions that doesn’t relate to them. They are quick to bring them up. This is sickening!

When you are with this kind of person, the sad truth of the matter is most likely that you are just a rebound for such person. The right thing to do is simply walking away from that relationship.

You do not deserve to be a rebound to anyone, never!

When your partner’s phone is always locked with a password which you don’t know

Partners whose phones are always locked with a password surely have something they could be hiding from their partners. Also, those whose phone passwords are frequently changed could be up to something.

If you are dating such a person, there is a greater percentage your partner is cheating. This is one good sign to know if you are in a relationship with the wrong partner or someone who is already cheating. A clear conscience has nothing to hide.

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If your partner isn’t hiding anything from you, then it’s either the password is known by you or the phone has no password, except the essence of the password is to keep it away from the kids.

Also, going through your significant other’s email, phone, Facebook account, or journal strongly indicates that you don’t trust the person you’re with. You could be violating his or her trust in you.

Why put yourself in such situation of mistrust when you can easily walk away and put your mind at rest?

Hiding the relationship from other people that ought to know about it

When your relationship is one heading to your dream destination but your partner is so unwilling to introduce you at appropriate junctures to the most important people in their lives, then that’s usually a bright, flapping red flag.

Most of us have been in relationships that didn’t work out due to this reason. I have also read a couple of times where the ladies had written that even though the relationships were healthy, their major concerns were that their men for one reason or the other refused or either failed to define their (ladies) status while in the midst of their friends and associates, or failed to introduce them to the important people that needed to know them as an ‘’item’’, e.g. family members.

Failure to be accepted the way you’re by your partner.

No one on the face of the earth is perfectly made or created. We all have our good traits, flaws and weaknesses. That’s what make us mortal humans.

Being unable to accept one another for who you are is one of the biggest indicators that the relationship won’t work out. You shouldn’t be told that commitment into such relationship will be a white elephant project.

In situations where your partner cannot accept your flaws and only looking towards your positive side, then that could be a sign you’re with the wrong partner. Truth is, a good partner will accept all of your flaws and seek ways to assist in making you better person.

If you your partner doesn’t enjoy watching grey’s anatomy which you do, he or she should logically accept the fact that you love such soap opera and leave you to watch it. Also, if the way you dress is frowned at by your partner, it is time to move towards the exit door of that such relationship.

Remember these 15 characteristics of true love and where some may be missing in your relationship, then you should ask some questions about that relationship. They include:

Love is Kind.

Love is effortless

True love is Mutual respect and acceptance

Love is not egoistic

Love listens sincerely

Love doesn’t reward evil for evil.

Love Gives and takes unconditionally.

Love supports completely

Love is teamwork and growth

Love is companionship and held to be sacred

Love is not proud.

Love doesn’t seek its own.

Love is not selfish but selflessness.

Love is not insecure.

Love is Caring

If what you want in a relationship can’t answer to those definitions of love, then you will hardly get the best out of your relationship.

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Finally as i would love to conclude on this matter, if your partner is one that really cares about how to assist in shaping your image positively and most importantly bringing out what you’d consider the best in you, then with all sincerity you are in the right relationship with the right person.

Thank you…..

Any experience or addition? Kindly air your thoughts in the comment section.

You’ve made some great points. I was in a very bad one myself and luckily I left. I also vowed to never get into a similar relationship again. It’s sad because I have friends who are with wrong people, and they know they are wrong but they stick around regardless. What a way to live right?

I believe as human beings we were given freewill for a reason by God. It is left for us to make use of it or not. I know personally I cannot be with a person who doesn’t give me peace/rest. I treasure my peace. Nice tips.

You always hit the nail on the head. I love all the points. Lmao at not wanting to leave a relationship because sex is too good. For starters, sex shouldn’t be involved and if it eventually is, she probably doesn’t want to leave because she feels too attached to the guy. Off to read that post of the marriage of 35 years. What could have gone wrong?. Happy New Month dear Life|Hello December http://Www.laitanbee.com

Great points Brenda, I agree with all of them. Like you said most of the time we know when a relationship is no longer good for us and that we’re suppose to leave. People would stay in bad relationships, maybe because of hope, pride, a desperate need of company or maybe they don’t know any better (if their parents has a dysfunctional relationship for example).
I myself was in a relationship with a guy that lied, stole my money.. and like a fool i kept thinking there is no perfect relationship maybe we could make it work lol (i know I was an idiot at the time lol, at least I learned though). I eventually got to a point where I told myself it’s better to be happy alone than miserable with somebody.
The thing is rarely ever people listen when you try to tell them they are in the wrong relationship, a lot of time they have to take the decision to leave themselves but they’d always remember who cared enough to try and give them some advice.
Great post. thanks for sharing 🙂
xoSauniya | Find Your Bliss ♡

A dysfunctional family has so much impact in shaping the lives of its members in virtually everything, including relationship. While there is no perfect relationship, there are good ones worthy of emulation. Glad you left that relationship.