LOVE WARRIOR NOW AVAILABLE IN PAPERBACK!

LOVE WARRIOR NOW AVAILABLE IN PAPERBACK!

I need to tell you something

August 1, 2016

I’m staring at this blank page and thinking: This is one of the most important things you’ll ever write. Be kind and brave, Glennon. Steady. Clear. Shameless. Gentle. True.

Pretend it’s just the two of us here in my kitchen. I’m making us chamomile tea. I pass a mug to you and ask you to sit down on the couch with me. You follow me into my family room and and we sit down and I look at you. I can see that you’re nervous because you’ve figured out I’m about to tell you something important. I quickly say: It’s okay. Everyone is healthy. All is well. We are all okay.

We are. And yet.

Craig and I are separating.

What happened? I am still looking for the words. While I am smack dab in the middle of the unfolding, here is my best explanation: As you’ll read in Love Warrior, Craig and I endured serious trauma a few years ago. We suffered. My God, we suffered. I was broken, just completely shattered. And then we healed. It was beautiful.

And this is what I learned: You can be shattered and then you can put yourself back together piece by piece.

But what can happen over time is this: You wake up one day and realize that you have put yourself back together completely differently. That you are whole, finally, and strong – but you are now a different shape, a different size. This sort of change — the change that occurs when you sit inside your own pain — it’s revolutionary. When you let yourself die, there is suddenly one day: new life. You are Different. New. And no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot fit into your old life anymore. You are like a snake trying to fit into old, dead skin, or a butterfly trying to crawl back into the cocoon, or new wine trying to pour itself back into an old wineskin. This new you is equal parts undeniable and terrifying.

Because you just do not fit. And suddenly you know that. And you have become a woman who doesn’t ignore her knowing. Who doesn’t pretend she doesn’t know. Because pretending makes you sick. And because you never promised yourself an easy life, but you did promise yourself a true one. You did promise – back when you were putting yourself back together – that you’d never betray you again.

And so one day you sit down with your beloved, wonderful, kind, brave, warrior husband and you look at him and you say: Honey. We have worked so hard, for so long. We have been warriors for each other and for our children and for this marriage. And yet. I don’t fit here anymore.

And your husband looks at you and, eventually through his tears, he says: Four years ago you gave me the most selfless love I’ve ever received. It healed me. And now I’m going to return that kind of love to you. The kind of love that only wants truth and wholeness and peace for each other.

For the next several weeks, you do nothing but cry and talk. Sometimes it feels like that’s all you ever do—because, it turns out, you have been grieving your marriage for years. But still, you cry and talk more. You close the bedroom door and sit on that bed and you talk. You talk about how hard you’ve worked together, how you stayed on your mats and didn’t run from each other. Since you didn’t run, you discovered together that fight or flight aren’t the only options. There is a third way: heal.

You talk about how broken you each were when you met, and how whole each of you is now. You say to him: You’ve been my healing partner. He says: And you have been mine. You talk about how you can forgive someone and love someone and at the very same time know that you cannot be with them anymore. You get more honest than you have ever, ever been before. You talk about how hard, how very brutal it’s all been for the two of you. Since day one. And you talk about how beautiful it’s been for the two of you. Since day one. There is a moment in every conversation when one of you says: My God, the kids – and neither of you can go on. That’s the black hole. Still is. I can’t write more about that right now. Someday. Not today.

You sit in a therapist’s waiting room to discuss how to handle this with as much peace as possible for the kids.

You sit with your children and you create a new family mission statement:

Then you help your soon-to-be-ex-husband-forever-life-partner move into a rented house a few doors down. You have family dinners, plan your family summer vacation together, and you look at each other and realize you’ve never loved each other more, bigger, truer.

And then you tell your team. You tell the people who are invested in your career. And hot damn, this is bad timing. There is fear and panic. Because you are about to launch the biggest project of your career, the book you finished a year ago, and so many have been working so hard for its release. And it’s all about your marriage. And the advice from many is: Wait, G. Just wait till after the book has launched to reveal this. This is a MARRIAGE book – you can’t break up before it even comes out! Glennon – it will affect sales. It will affect your career, your success.

And you will listen to this advice. And you will decide: No.

Like Mama T said: I was not called to be successful. I was called to be faithful.

I was called to be faithful to truth and vulnerability and to YOU. I never promised anybody I’d get it all right; I promised I’d keep showing up forever. Today. Whether I’m in the valley or on the mountaintop.

Please come close when I say this next part, it’s important: This next step is not a departure from the path of the Love Warrior. This next step is the fulfillment of it – for me, for my particular journey. Love Warrior is a book about self-trust. It’s a book about a woman who has painstakingly learned that there is a still, small voice guiding her through this brutiful life one next right thing at a time. And that the only thing she cannot do – not ever again – is betray that voice. Self-betrayal is allowing the fear voices to drown out the still, small voice that knows what to do and is always leading us home to ourselves and to truth and to love. Love is the boss of me, not fear, and certainly not “success.”

And by the way, success to me is not staying in a marriage — it’s staying in my own peace. At all costs. And so, even when it’s highly inconvenient – even when it feels CRAZY – I will listen to the voice, and I will obey it. And I will be messy and complicated – and I will show up anyway. Because I’ve fought too hard for my sobriety, sanity, integrity—and for your trust—to give it up now.

So I said to the team: We tell our people now.

And they said: Okay. Should we clear your schedule then? Revealing yourself in your writing about this is one thing, but do you want to be on stages with it? Won’t that feel too vulnerable?

And I thought about that for a while. Lord have mercy, cancelling the tour sounded good.

And I decided: No.

My family is here, now in two houses. But my family is also you.
I will not hide from you, not now. I will show up in your cities, in your churches and theaters and on stages and I will say: HERE I AM. A little busted up, but not destroyed. I will be at my weakest, but when we are weak, then we are strong. If I’m this weak, can you imagine how strong I’ll be? Damn.

Listen: Love is not a victory march. It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah. So I might be cold and I might be broken but I am still gonna scream HALLELUJAH all over this country. I am going to stand in front of you with my medicated little head held high and I am going to be so busted up and broken that the light is going to pour out of me like stained glass. I know this.

Here’s what else I know: Some loves are perennials—they survive the winter and bloom again. Other loves are annuals—beautiful and lush and full for a season and then back to the earth to die and create richer soil for new life to grow. The eventual result of both types of plants is New Life.

New life. Nothing wasted. No failure. Love never fails. Never, never. Love is messy and beautiful and brutal – and Love is the whole point. So, I am not afraid, I was born to do this.

I’m asking you, please love me through this. Be my people. The world will have opinions and I need this Love Warrior Army. Please stay close.

Sister On, my beloveds. We can do hard things. We belong to each other. And LOVE WINS.

G

P.S. Since I publicly announced the trauma in my marriage four years ago, I have become a soft place to land for women in marriage trauma. I have listened to what kind of responses from people are helpful and which are hurtful. So many of us want to say and do the loving and supportive thing, but we sometimes don’t know what that looks like. So, with humility, love (and a healthy dose of defensiveness on behalf of my heart and the hearts of my warrior sisters), I offer the following thoughts:

If I don’t mention something, it’s not because I forgot to. It’s because I desperately have to find the balance here between honesty and a tell-all. Between transparency and responsibility. What I owe you and what I owe myself. There will be parts of this story I (try to) keep for myself and Craig and the kids. If you can, please resist assumptions, gossip, or asking for details I haven’t provided. I can tell you this: I feel defensive of Craig here. No one could have worked harder. There is no better father or man on earth. Craig is a hero. He is a Love Warrior. I am fiercely proud of him.

Try to avoid lamenting how sad it is that people “throw away their marriages these days.” Try not to generalize. I have met hundreds of divorced women who didn’t throw their marriages away. Most of us fight like hell for our marriages until we realize that we can either save our marriages or save our souls. So please, I’m not looking for advice. Just love and support.

Please don’t pretend to know what God thinks of us. Please think deeply about the chasm-wide difference between leaving a man and leaving God. Please remember that when a woman leaves, she just brings God with her. Nothing separates a woman or a family from God’s love. Not death, and certainly not divorce. Jesus taught us that sometimes death is necessary for there to be new life. And that God loves us far more than any institution God made for us. When someone suggests otherwise, it brings shame to us. But we won’t let that in. We are women who have become far too wise to believe in shame.

Sometimes, when people make decisions about marriage, it evokes strong feelings in others. If my news does that to you today, please look inside and get curious about whether those feelings have more to do with you and your life than they do about me and mine.

I will repeat this last one: Please stay close. I need you more than I’ve ever needed you.

1,439 Comments

Thank you for sharing your gift of words in this post. You have described my current scenario and life. It is good to know that I am not alone in the very crazy confusing thoughts. These words have grounded me for today and contributed to another miracle day where I could stay sober, talk about my feelings, honor what is in my heart.

I am 3/4 of the way through Love Warrior. I love the advice you give about sitting with someone in crisis and witnessing it with them. However, like everyone I have an opinion…I am very glad you decided not the listen to them about not breaking up before the “book about marriage” was released. I have seen the growth you made throughout your book. In love stories, I often do root for the couples to make it, but in your story, I am rooting for you 2 to make healthy choices for yourselves. I think your readers can understand not all love stories end with the boy getting the girl. Some end with empowerment and a hopeful future.
(As a side note, I get very scared talking about religion with people because so many use it in hateful ways. Thank you for letting me see that talk about God can be talk about LOVE.)
I look forward to reading more of your story.

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I read your book, Love Warrior, and I was undone. The part about self-betrayal gripped me. Wrestled with me. It still holds my heart at attention. I have been searching that heart so that I can find my truest identity. The truth is that I have changed. When that change occurred, and I began to voice my heart, my marriage started to become emotionally tumultuous. through counseling, it’s gotten better now. Yet, your words about no longer “fitting” still resonate deeply. Am I still betraying myself? We moved for a new start. Things are more peaceful. But I went to church for 3 weeks in a row recently and I came home and I wept deeply in my bedroom. The message given was on submission, specifically women submitting to a doctrine of “divine order.,” which is “God, Men, and then women and children.” I haven’t gone back to that church because it’s painful.

Eight years ago I survived a spiritually abusive church that left me and my brain in what felt like a million pieces. I planned to end my life because of the shame. It’s wild, but there are times I click on your Instagram, FB, or this Blog and it is like we are sitting across from each other in synchronicity..And I cry. I read your book, Love Warrior. And I cried again. I am getting braver every day. Telling a little more of my truth. Every. Single. Day. Some days are harder than others. But I say yes to that day. Then I say yes to the next day. So “yes” has been my mantra. Yes, I will keep moving forward. Yes, I will do this thing called, Life, especially when it is hard. Yes.

All of this is to say thank you. Whether you read this or not, thank you. If I could hug you, I would. I would cry on your shoulder and say a silent, Thank you. From the deepest part of me. Because “there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story” (Maya Angelou). Your story inspires me to believe better things, to be truer tot myself. I know I’m not the only one. There is a cultural shift and you are a captain.

Holy God I love you! I love your heart. I love your courage. I love your vulnerability. I love your Truth. I love your love of Craig. I love your love of Abby. I love your new marriage. I love your love of your family.
I am just now reading Love Warrior and I am so grateful! Thank you!
Thank you for say “Yes!” to your Truth and to your Soul. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for giving me and others the permission and courage to do the same.
May God always watch over you, protect you, comfort you, support you, and abundantly bless you always and forever!
With so much love and gratitude!
Amy Marzluff

Glennon, I just finished reading “Love Warrior” and wanted to tell you how incredible it was! Your raw honesty and vulnerability were so refreshing! So, I came here to tell you that and what do I see but this post.

All I could think of were your words, “Warrior on”! This is why people love you so much I am sure – it’s why I do! Okay, not everyone, because there are many who still want to fix you so their own mess can look normal…whatever)

Please stay true to yourself so we can.

Life sucks – often – but God is always there to pick up the pieces and make us whole again.

thank you very good
When you talked about being hugged from behind, about eating, about breathing. I just felt so understood.
I will continue to open up to my husband and continue to speak my truth.
I’m happy that you found yourself? I’m glad you will move on from this marriage if it’s not right for you.

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I disagree with you, not infrequently, and sometimes fiercely. I neither agree with nor support some of the decisions you make. However, I respect your honesty and your willingness to always remember others.

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I just read your book and think you are so strong and amazing. Thank you for being so transparent and real and authentic, we need more voices like yours!! I wish you nothing but the very best for you and your family and only you can know what is best for you.

After browsing very lightly through the comments, I imagine few will actually see this one, especially Glennon as I cannot imagine anyone would have the superhuman strength required to be bashed the way she has been even when also enveloped in love as well. I will admit, I read Love Warrior in two days after reading in O Magazine that she was divorcing. I was somewhere towards the end of Carry On… And was intrigued by this turn so I skipped ahead to Love Warrior.

I agree with some others…this is SO much more than a book on marriage. For context, I took nothing romantic relationship based out of this for me presently but WOW, were there absolutely incredible insights that do apply to my current life situation which involves a newly forged family of two (myself and my daughter recently adopted from India) facing a truly unbelievable medical crisis that has sent our worlds into a tailspin. While so much of the book spoke to me, the piece about the Shover, the Comparer, the Fixer and th Reporter was so absolutely dead on that I found myself in awe of her insight.

Many other places in the book did this as well so truly…whole there is the curiosity of what has happened in the story laid before us, it really DOES NOT MATTER. The insights and the pure love lured and purged are what speak to us. Anyone looking for a complete answer or message of hope or condemnation in either one book or one person is way too stuck in their ego.

I honor your journey and hope that someday soon, my own will start to make sense as well.

You all ready are very courageous and wonderful person. You story should all ready make sense, adoption is a gift and you are the blessed among men for God to have chose you, no matter what sickness has hold on that child you and your family call on His name and believe with no doubt standing firmly and delivery will come!Jesus is the answer!

Dr Mack helped me recently to reunite my relationship with my Ex Lover who dumped me, When i contacted Dr.Mack, he did a love spell for me and my Ex boyfriend who said he doesn’t want me again called me and started begging me that he wants me back.To anyone who is reading this article and needs any help from Dr.Mack should Email;[email protected] com I’m very happy he brought my boyfriend back to me and my boyfriend promise that he will never and ever leave me again.

I love the P. S. That is the most important part. We don’t know the whole story, we don’t need to know the whole story, and we do not have enough information to judge. The Lord does not call us to be judges over one another, but to be witnesses of His love for us. The best assumptions require us to trust the people we have come to know and love, to assume they had good reasons. Glennon, I admire you and appreciate the gift of your authentic voice. God bless.

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Hi Glennon,
I have two graduate degrees and extensive experience and education in psychology, sociology, family and childhood development, as well as biblical study and interpretation,

In the sake of brevity let me quickly get to the point. You are a flake. You are a tragic human drowning in a sea of existential anxiety looking frantically for something or someone who will ameliorate your very clear affliction of cognitive dissonance.

Your logic progression is incredibly flawed no matter how much you attempt to wall paper it with floral and illustrative verbiage.

You are spiritually drowning. I am heartbroken for your poor children who are forced to endure your psychotic grasping for something spiritually tangible. It shakes my faith in a loving God because I question, why would a loving God allow beautiful children to be born into such a quagmire of spiritual perversion.

Let me be real clear…whatever faith you’re talking about…is not Christianity. For those of us who actually study the Bible in context of other writings and historical guideposts who walk with Christ daily, who fight the battles against temptations of the spirit…who live,eat, sleep, the Holy Spirit..who battle daily against the enemy…YOU are not amongst our ranks.

You are diseased in your thinking, and I highly encourage you to stop writing and using the influence of your words, because as I’m sure your interpretation of the Bible says, you will be held to a different level of accountability. Think on that a while.

Your words, and your very existence at this point are nothing more than a grain of sand in a hurricane. You will be forgotten, your story, your “struggle” are so phenomenally insignificant.

My wife is a true love warrior, you are a pathetic coward compared to what this true Christian woman has weathered and endured. I only know about you because of the hours away from our marriage, our kids, and our story that she spent reading about yours.

My wife and I would like a refund for the cost of your book.

And I would like you, and your readers who are all posting support for your diseased thought progression to hear and understand: regardless of how much you “feel” the gospel supports your decisions and your “path”…it does not.

This post is a perfect example of everything Jesus taught on how not to treat others. The judgement and profound absence of love is blatantly evident! No amount of education or intellectualization or impressive vocabulary trumps LOVE! Love always wins!

I just read your book this weekend. You wrote it for me and my children. How did you know I needed it? Ahh that Holy Spirit is always on the move! Love and gratitude to you and your family!

Let me guess, D Steele–you cheated on your wife and expected her to stay with you because that is what you think God “tells” you is right? No matter how badly you treat and devalue her, your wife’s place is by your side, eh?

I’m not even a fan of Love Warrior; in my view, infidelity is an immediate cause for ending a marriage because there is no way to repair the trust, and the betrayed partner ends up broken if he/she stays in the marriage. But I had to comment on your even more insane viewpoint, and the arrogance of your thinking you know God’s plan.

I’m with cynical. Get a grip D. Steele. That was a transparent attempt at a vicious attack, to defend your own position, not God’s. Looking deeply into your own heart is the most courageous act, not wagging a finger at another fallible human. God judges. Not you. If you have so many degrees in the field then you know you can’t possibly diagnose anyone without having a clinical relationship. That’s exactly what the experts are saying with regard to our new president: Democrats and Republicans alike. May you know Peace.

The issue is that by looking at your own heart and relying on it’s thoughts, you put yourself in the position of God. It’s not a courageous act, but a standard act that’s important when considering life, but not the end all be all of understanding God’s heart.

The real end all be all:
You have to read the Bible to understand his heart and the Holy Spirit guides in that process.

@DSteel, No matter how many degrees you have, it clearly didn’t make you wise or compassionate. Using religion to justify your own judgments and stupidity is centuries old style manipulation. I hope most of us have evolved beyond this type of blaming and shaming.

My my my! May God have mercy on YOUR soul D Steel. Whatever G has triggered in your soul, boy, it’s TOXIC. Take MORE time and study the life of Jesus more closely, ‘the difference between Jesus and each one of us is not one of inherent spiritual capacity, but the demonstration of it. Every person is a spiritual being. Every person is innately good. Every person is a potential Christ.’

Hey there friend,
Just a note. The bible that you’ve studied so well is a promotion of love for your fellow (wo)man, and a reminder that we leave any judgments to the Lord. So, maybe take it back notch and find something that makes you happy, so that you don’t feel the need to attack others on their journey. I hope you have a beautiful week!

Wow…… your words and arrogance are disturbing. I can’t even imagine what you have put your wife through. If you had really learned something from your education and experience, you never would have posted such a horrendous comment.

I have several degrees as well. I will also be brief. You’re a jerk who sounds like you are more interested in controlling your wife’s time than supporting her decisions to follow someone else’s story. Your misogynistic misgivings, disguised as Christian superiority, are exactly what is wron with the Christian community today. Take a page from your own sermon and stop being a judgemental prick. It’s unbecoming of a disco of Christ.

As I sit staring at my phone for quite a while, pondering whether to verbally tear your “testament,” to shreds, I’ve decided, instead, to say this: for someone who claims to be a devoted Christian, you are damaging any and every good thing that God gave to us in his deliverance of Jesus, to someone who isn’t a believer. As a Christian myself, I constantly remind myself that people aren’t led to Christ through the Bible, but by the actions of Christians (being Christ like). And you, at this point in your journey, aren’t being Christ like. You can have an opinion. And it can be hateful, disrespectful and altogether cruel. But don’t advise it in the name of my Father. Don’t pretend to be holier than thou, after writing such a malicious comment. I sin. And I fall short of living up to what God deserves for me to be every single day. But I try. I try to be loving, caring, respectful and kind. My opinion to you, in response to your opinion to her, is that maybe you should try that. Because your actions, by the hateful words you spewed, are not indicitative of the choice you made to be a Christian.

And I should add the comment I made was in response to D Steele, as I thought it would appear directly under it, or I would have addressed it appropriately.

Glennon, I understand this to be a while ago and from my following you have moved on to find compassion and love with another partner. I applaud how brave you are to follow your heart and to live your life accordingly. Especially for your voice in the past few months, with the uncertainty our country has shown. Thank you for being such a strong voice in a scary world.

Who and what the holy fuck is your problem buddy? Wow, sounds like you need to go back to school and learn something, like how to be less judgemental? Did your wife try to learn something and that pissed you off? Did she try to find herself after you destroyed her? Yeah, suck on that for awhile. You are NO Christian. It’s people JUST LIKE YOU that keep me out of church. You are an abomination.

From reading your post my assumption is that you are a man who lied and cheated on his wife as well? Assuming that is why she needed the book? As a “scholar” I assume you also know that lying and cheating are sins in the Bible? Philippians 2:4 says: “Do not merely look out for your own interests, but also for the interest of others.” Not here to have a virtual cage fight with you on the Bible. However you should not throw stones in glass houses nor should you cast judgement if you have not walked in the other person’s shoes. Just because a spouse lost their integrity should not require we lose ours. Bottom line….get a life and stop judging others. That is God’s job, clearly not yours.

Wauw. Shame on you D steele. Are you afraid all women will decide to leave their husbands because of this? You judge and state things out of fear I can read. I suggest you take all this negative energy and turn it, flip it, and use the newly created possitive energy to make yourself happy. To keep your wife happy. To ensure you both can grow. As you are now, there is no growing, only standing in the shade of your own tormented ego.

May God Bless you and keep you. If only you used His word to build up the church Not condemn it!Just because your walk and her walk be different, doesn’t mean that you should bash her. Remember what Jesus wrote in the dirt. So unless you have something nice to say in the Name of Jesus and his church please keep it to yourself!

So agree with you. The Word of God says we will be held to a higher accountability with the words we speak if we walk in a place where people look to us for help and guidance. It’s not just Pastors who are in this place, people. Bloggers and book authors will be held accountable as well! Thank you D Steele for speaking up!

So, I’m just now seeing this post after reading Love Warrior months ago. For me, Love Warrior was about learning to love yourself and how that knowledge/self awareness enabled you to truly love others.
I applauded you and Craig for making it work! I too have experienced infidelity, self doubt, self medication… I remember thinking when I finished the book, can it really work? I’ve lived the years since the affair in a continuous cycle of blame, guilt, anger, sadness and ok we’re ok again. I’ve learned to love me again but in doing so, I realize, I no longer fit either. The age old question my friends and I debate: Do you stay for the kids even when you’re unhappy? Or do you leave and disrupt their lives while trying to find your own happiness? I am in no way judging on either side, this is a true dilemma.

Namastetou,
I’m not sure there’s ever a good answer to the age-old question, but as the adult child of a couple that is very unhappy and has been for several years… I wish my parents had pursued their own happiness. It would’ve caused a lot of disruption at the time, but it’s not like I wasn’t already in therapy for watching the pain they inflicted on each other. It’s been almost ten years since I left for college. Things have gone downhill since then. At this point, my mother is waiting it out until my dad passes. (He is elderly; she is not.) She has friends who support her, but still, her grief is poured onto me. As a newlywed, I bear witness to the ways in which her pain causes damage to my budding marriage. Hopefully I (and my husband) can continue to compartmentalize “us” versus “them” and do things our way. Anyway — I did not mean to make this entirely about me — but I wanted to share the “kid’s” perspective. I send you my most positive wishes.

As the son of parents who did separate, I can tell you that you will be throwing your children and husband into a whirlpool of chaos. You will expose them to potential sexual or physical abuse by yours or your husbands “partners” and create a wholly unstable environment.

I’m 24, and I’m already preparing to pack my bags for greener pastures. I will never marry a woman in my country because of how many lives I’ve seen wrecked by the divorce nuclear option.

Thank you, Reede, for your report from the “front line.” I wholeheartedly agree with you about the “divorce nuclear option,” the tendency for people to cut their losses, self-actualize, and go in search of themselves. American women have achieved so much, yet so many of them are angry, vitriolic, and, as the comments to D Steele illustrate, completely intolerant of opposing opinions. (Ironically, they do not see this in themselves…) What happened to sacrifice for the greater good, a good beyond the self? The question that continues to haunt me is: What about the children brought into the world? Are they expected to suck it up because mommy and/or daddy need to find themselves? And, please understand, I’m NOT advocating staying in an abusive relationship. As I look over my life, I think that men, women, children, and the institution of marriage are all worse off than they were in the past. With these kinds of attitudes, how will our society look in the future? Does anyone care?

Yes, I am divorced and spent 33+ years in a very troubled marriage–the decision to leave was agonizing and I did everything I could to hold on until that was no longer an option. What I was not prepared for was the reaction of my 2 grown children–it continues to haunt me. Both of my children are now married and my ex and I have a beautiful grandson–I am saddened that we are unable to share these joys because our family no longer exists.

The bottom line is that the more people divorce, the easier it becomes. It leaves destruction in its wake.

Just five months ago my husband admitted to an affair that happened 17 years ago. In fact he went as far as having me babysit for the woman’s daughter for her so he could go into work and have sex with her. They had sex while I played cards with both their kids. He brought her back into my home after they were intimate so she could pick up her daugher. They were both married and their affair lasted over a year and took place during the day at work while I was at home with our then 3 year old son. I read Love Warrior and try to remain hopeful but I get it…being betrayed changes you. Being the betrayer changes you too I’m sure. What kids need are happy parents. I have decided whether I stay with my cheating spouse or not cannot be based on my kids but in me being happy in life with my decision so I can be a better mother to them. They will benefit far more from that, even if it means we don’t live together and end up separating, then living with two unhappy parents.

Dear Glennon,
Thank you for your raw honesty. While I have only been following you for a few months, thanks to the Brene’ Brown course on writing our own story, I have to say that you are someone I’ve come to respect and appreciate. I know first hand what happens when you give up the old rules of life, become completely exposed and vulnerable, discovering who those true friends and family are, listening to your inner song, and then running with it through the grace of God. You and I have many similarities, in terms of life circumstances experienced, but have taken different paths and sought different remedies to work through them.

I love that you gave your all, and discovered what that looked like through this brutiful journey. I wish you much peace, love, joy, and serenity as you begin this new life chapter. I’ve been down that road, and let me tell you, it’s far more beautiful than you can imagine. One day at a time, letting go, keeping things in perspective, gratitude for ALL that life has give, eyes on the power greater than ourselves, BEING YOU, and the belief that it will all work out for our highest good. Those tenets are solid foundation.

I found out my husband cheated on me March 4, 2016. Since then, as the life and world I knew unraveled, I’ve completely lost myself in survivor mode. I lost everything that made me me. I loved to read, write, knit, etc. I was not capable of doing any of those things, as my sole energy, my only focus could be spent on getting through each day – for myself and for my kids. I have lived in a fog since hearing the News, (as Glennon called it) a fog that is just now beginning to clear.

On a whim, I picked up this book before my Thanksgiving vacation. To be honest, I didn’t think I was ready for something that would hit this close to home. I began reading Love Warrior Tuesday and finished it Saturday morning. This book took me through so many emotions, which at times was hard. At the same time, Glennon helped me put words to my feelings that until now, I haven’t been able to express.

Every now and then, I find a book that impacts my life; this was definitely one of them.

I don’t understand how one can talk about deeply loving another person and admiring him and yet wanting a divorce. Adultery is a horrible betrayal, and for a marriage to recover the unfaithful partner must truly repent. It sounds as though Craig did this. When that doesn’t happen, the marriage is ultimately doomed–as are marriages when one spouse engages in unrepentant activities that are a type of unfaithfulness, such as viewing pornography or abusing the other spouse. But if there is repentance and forgiveness and healing, then what is this about becoming a different person and excusing divorce on those grounds? How does this comport with any Biblical teaching on marriage? People who do not claim to be Christians aren’t held to Biblical standards, but Christians are. What about giving up your right to yourself to follow Jesus? What about denying yourself and taking up your cross? It’s hard to see how leaving a loving and loved husband and starting a same-sex relationship is about anything but you.

Your feelings and views on G’s relationship are valid, but they are your feelings and opinions, not Glendon’s, Craig’s or Abby’s. I have known this beautiful family for a long time. They are a pure, wonderful example of grace and love. We all owe it to ourselves to live our own true authentic lives without judgement. God daughter the Bible say “Do not judge”. Gish, Amma and Chase (G’s and Craig’s children) will grow in 2 loving homes understanding that grace is one of the kindest things you can give people. I wish you much happiness!

When I divorced my husband (after staying with him far too long because my Calvary Chapel community told me I had to stay the Bible says so) I basically told them “excuse me, I’m an adult and I am going to make an adult decision”. And I did. I divorced him and my life immediately improved. He was a sick mofo, that I met AT THAT SAME CHURCH!! I refused to put my kids through any more abuses Bible or no Bible.

The moral of the story is this: don’t allow groupthink to infant-ize you. You CAN love God and still be an adult. Easy breezy….

Kay — how sad, ignorant and judgmental you are. You are obviously incapable of true vulnerability, unconditional love and forgiveness. Glennon is courageous – she fought hard for her marriage… and unless both individuals in a marriage know how to be vulnerable and fight, you must honor your own soul. Glennon is an inspiration.
BJK

Thanks for following her request not to judge. I think God can handle her relationship with Him without your input. How about just taking care of your soul and let G take care of hers……with all due respect.

Biblically, Glennon has a right to leave her husband because he broke the marriage vows when he committed adultery. I get it – infidelity is really, really hard to get past in a marriage – I have personal experience. So go ahead – leave the marriage. But, I would have a whole lot more respect for Glennon and her view of love if she didn’t jump right into another relationship. This just seems self serving and not loving at all. I am so disappointed. I really bought into the whole Love Warrior thing.

And there’s nothing wrong with it being about her. She goes her way, you go yours. Instead of wasting energy on questioning the actions and path of someone else– focus on your own happiness. Follow your Jesus. He would not spend his time belittling or misunderstanding them. Find some peace, and move along. Happy week to you!

Spot on Kay. I was married for 13 years and was in a similar situation to Glennon’s. My husband decided to leave the marriage. Shortly after the divorce, I met a woman who seemed to be everything I had ever wanted/needed. My needs were being met and at that time, it was all I could see… my happiness trumped everything (misgivings, friendships, my relationship with God, etc.) I tried to mold my family into the perfect modern family too at the expense of my young children. Family counseling, you name it, I was going to make it work. I continued hammering the square peg into the round hole for almost 10 years. When things finally fell apart, it was very sad, but thank God, he put the pieces back together again and I am more whole than I have ever been. Sadly, I believe I was put in the path of this woman to share the gospel with her and impact her life, instead of what transpired. I believe the same for Glennon and Abby. I cannot change what I have done, but I wish I could. I have apologized to my children and even my ex husband. For those using the “judge not, because you will be judged” defense… Christians are to absolutely to judge those claiming to be their brothers and sisters, and call them on their errant behavior/beliefs. We are not called to mediocrity/lukewarmness. If Glennon no longer believes the Bible is the ultimate instruction guide on how to live this life, and/or does not believe that Jesus is unique in his claim to be God’s son/divine (and the only way to God), then she should say so. Then her Christian audience can make up their own minds about what they want to do. For me, I will be praying for Glennon, Abby, Craig, and the kids. I realize my post will not be popular here, but felt that I should share anyway.

Well said, Kay. To those who say we should not judge Glennon: It is perfectly fair to be critical of Glennon’s choice to get divorced; to do this is not the same as to condemn her as a person, which would be unjust. It is especially fair given that she is a Christian public figure.

I’m not a Christian, but from my years of Bible study growing up, it is my understanding that the Christian church regards marriage as a sacred covenant and that, according to Scripture, under only two circumstances does God release a couple from this covenant: 1) when one partner behaves in a consistently immoral/evil manner, and 2) when an unbelieving partner deserts a believer. Glennon has essentially told us that neither of these is true of her marriage; in fact, in this very post where she is announcing her separation from her husband, she describes her husband as her kind and brave “forever life partner.”

What bothers me is when Christians like Glennon are unreflectively hypocritical. I think Glennon seems like a lovely person, but there is more to being a Christian than being kind. Familial obligation is very central to Christian notions of morality. If you are not a Christian, just say so. If you are being a hypocrite, own it.

Emily, either you mean well, or you’re trolling. I am givng you the benefit of the doubt.

I really don’t understand why someone who professes at the beginning of her comment not to be a Christian is so concerned about the hypocrisy of a Christian. Do you see the incongruency here?

Family obligation is very central to Christian notions of morality. Yes. And? How is she not being responsible for her family and for her children?

You’re right. There is more to being a Christian than being kind. One thing that being a Christian requires is, strangely enough, being a Christian. She apparently is one and you avowedly are not. Why is that?

I wish I had your bravery, I too am a mom of 3, stuck with a man that was not the boy I met 20 years ago. My happiness means nothing. I live on day to day solely on the duties of motherhood. The best days of my life are days my kids are playing soccer.
I stay and portray myself as perfect wife to fit in.

Marriage vows state for better or worse,.richer or poorer, sickness and in health, quit trying to rationalize behaviors that
are destructive for children and families. . Now you’re supposedly in love with another woman. get real, is that really the role model that you want for Tish, Amanda and Chase?
Forgot Hollywood’s value system and go back to the Judeo Christian values that most of us uphold. Craig doesn’t need the embarassment that your “‘outing”” has caused. Think of others besides yourself. It’s sad that you don’T see the bigger picture.

What you are doing is called spiritual abuse. The truth is God loves gay people. He created them, right? Science proves this, right? Since God does not lie, nor make mistakes, gay people are completely and irrevocably loved by Him. So they share their love as a couple. Guess what? It’s ok when they love in a committed relationship and arenot merely “fornicating” which straight people do too!). The Bible has been so tampered with over the centuries, and the old laws were fulfilled by Jesus’ laws of love. The black and white view of the scriptures is a form of spiritual autsim.

The Bible was never meant to be taken as literal otherwise there would be no Monday night football (the old law tell us not to touch the skin of a pig). See what I mean???

So, Melton, enjoy Abby for as long as you two are meant to be together. She’s quite a woman!!

Martha, how dare you JUDGE!! Two women loving each other IS NOT damaging to the children. And you stated “the Judeo Christian values that most of us uphold”. MOST of us don’t uphold the archaic beliefs of 2 thousand years ago. God loves us all, and teaches us to love all….so why don’t you do that and stop judging. That’s God’s job.

You’re not upholding said “judeo christian values” by attacking someone you don’t even know and criticizing a situation that is not yours to criticize… Perhaps try to find kindness and gentleness in your days to help avoid such bile. I hope you have a good week!

I’m sitting here sobbing, a mix of relief and grief, and want to Thank you for your courage. I’ve followed you off and on sporadically for years. I do not identify as Christian, but I do believe in an all-loving and peaceful and joyful source energy that is fueled by empathy and expansion.

Your Example — your way of Being — is so INCREDIBLE. To watch you unfold into who you are with such a clear, direct and unwavering commitment to speaking your Truth is life shifting. It makes me incredibly hopeful that there are people like you who exist within communities and help to expand awareness and understanding that this Life, this Universe is not either/or.. and that there are shades of grey.. and not only shades of grey, but Wild Beauty in that grey scale.

So why am I sitting here crying? Because your message here is so universal to every aspect of our lives and your Little Voice just spoke directly to my Little Voice.. the one who knows that if I don’t shift away from my career and move full force into the work I was BORN to do, I will continue to feel the pain of separation from Source Love.

Your thoughts on “success” especially strike me.. “I was not called to be successful.. I was called to be faithful.”

Glennon,
My Sister introduced me to your first book and I Loved it, thank you. I ordered your second book and it sat around on my night stand for a few weeks (sadly). I finally picked up three days ago and I finished it this morning. Yes I dreamed the dream and was totally wishing that it would all work out for you. May God bless you and your entire family in the future. Thank you for sharing your real You with me, I did not have near the trials that you have experienced, but I can however relate. I have sent my representative out for me for years and even thought people tell me I look great, I am still fighting that battle to this day. Your story has given me encouragement to persevere and over come. For I to believe that I am a Warrior.
Your Brother In Christ,
Mike
P.S. Yes there are a few guys out there that needed your story to be told also, Thank You !!!

Glennon,
As someone who has been working over the last year and a half to carefully reshape my family in the process of divorce, I can assure you that the best is yet to come. While some may say that you are harming your children, I can assure you that mine are happier and healthier in every way, than they were in the years before their Dad moved out. That is not to say that it hasn’t impacted them, and that we haven’t struggled. No one plans divorce and few with children enter into it lightly. Certainly, all children have to deal with burdens inherited from their parents — our divorce is theirs. For others, it is the pressure to appear perfect, or blind faith, or fear of emotional intimacy. You will all be better for living in the light.

As for the critics, it’s hard to hear and much of what they say is coming from their own fears and insecurities. However, you may hear a criticism or two that really stings and it will make you angry. When your defenses go up, consider that a red flag warning for deeper truth. Someone hit a nerve. Take some deep breaths, center yourself, open your mind and confront the pain. I promise, you will learn something new about yourself.

Listening to the Love Warrior audio book. I totally identify. I was the boyfriend who left my first love to go to a party after the abortion. She said it was ok to go, but I knew it wasn’t. I felt horrible about it for a long time and was never able to make amends as she was a foreign exchange student and I lost touch with her. That was when I was 20, I wouldn’t get sober for 14 more years but I still felt bad about it for many years in sobriety. Finally got some peace in last few years by realizing that that we were both crazy addicted kids doing the best we could with the tools we had at the time.
Thanks for the book and all you do. Keep on keeping on!

I want a fairy tale ending! The Love Warrior gave me that. But real life is not always as we dream. Love Warrior gave me that truth too. Thank you Glennon. Christians sometimes believe all relationships stay healthy because we are taught forgiveness heals. But sometimes forgiveness heals the bitter soul but not the relationship. All my love. …

The fairy tale part is that she and Craig love each other enough to transition into another form of relationship while parenting in a loving way. How many divorces destroy the children? This will not be one of them and that’s magical.

Thank you so very much. I am on my third reading of Love Warrior. I finished my first go round on a Thursday then discovered my husband of 30 years had been unfaithful on Saturday. Total brick wall moment. I am so very great full that I had read your book. I don’t feel so alone or lost in my walk as a warrior. Thank you. Love wins.

THANK YOU for your honesty, your story. I will be at one of your events this week. I am excited, nervous, scared. I know I’ll cry. We feel what you feel as I am sure you realize. You reflect what I need to say and I hope God gives me the strength to do it. Standing strong after the words are said, is that harder than saying them out loud? I am grateful to you showing us the Warrior way.

OK, a perspective from the “other side,” despite your warning and obvious fear of judgment.
I mean, how “real” is it when you drop a bomb and tell everyone “now, don’t react.” You claim to want truth, and “transparency” and “honesty” so here’s mine:

Badly done.

Just because you are a talented writer does not make you a wise woman. Just because you have an amazing gift in this area does not make you a good wife or a good mother.

In fact, in light of your impending divorce (because we all know where this is going and as Martin Luther said, “Call a thing a thing”) it’s hard to imagine that you believe half the things you write.

And that “signed” Family Contract is one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe someone would do that to their children. “Hey look! Doesn’t matter how you feel—it’s right here in black and white.” Looking at your children’s signatures, and imagining you taking a picture of it for your readers is truly heartbreaking.

I feel for you that you “need” your readers “now more than ever.” Do you have any real people in your life that you might lean on? Or are you just saying “Hey, agree with me here. I don’t want anyone to disagree! But yet, I still want to spill my guts to you and get 100% affirmation.”
And I feel for all of the people who are trying to prop you up and give you “atta girls” about this supposedly courageous decision. They are in awe of your gift for writing, not in the content. Style over substance. Don’t believe it.

Because, YES you ARE one of those people who is just throwing a marriage away, but more than that, you are causing incalculable damage to your kids. Nesflash: NO ONE’S MARRIAGE IS ANYTHING BUT TWO SINFUL PEOPLE TRYING TO SPEND LIFE TOGETHER AND SOMETIMES RAISE CHILDREN. No matter how it looks from the outside. That is not a grim thought: it is a joyous one. You are not that other person’s savior, and neither are they yours. You have to look WAAAY beyond that person for your salvation and so do they.

People who need to “follow their own Truth” and “be true to themselves” without consideration of other people are called narcissists. In the process of being true to onesself and following one’s inner voice or whatever mumbo jumbo you want to call it, these people end up lonely.

I know this will not be appreciated, and I realize you waved the “no judgment” banner super hard in this big revelation, but if you claim to follow God, he’s pretty clear on divorce. Enough said on that. Either you agree or you don’t, (and of course His big caveat is adultery, so you got that going for you.) And yes, that sort of betrayal in a marriage is a huge one, but to you and all of your readers, one thing that can be VERY helpful in forgiving another person of a huge sin, is to look at your very own… all the ways in which we have all betrayed our marriages, our children, our friends etc, and get a “right-sized” view of ourselves. Sort of put things in perspective. Adultery is only a “biggy” in the same way that “being gay” or “being a drug addict or alcoholic” is a biggy. It’s a biggy if we personally don’t have it. People love to point at and hate sins that are not their own. “Well, at least I didn’t x,y,z. ” Or at least I’m not a x,y or z.” But sin is not relative.

Seriously, one should try it. Just think about something really wrong with yourself– the big scary thing or the dark secret thing you don’t want people to know– and imagine it being known. ( In fact, for kicks, just imagine if your spouse was a blogger, and put it on the internet for everyone to read! Badoom–shhh)
And also, if you can’t think of anything in the above category– dark scary, bad, about yourself– guess what? You’re probably a narcissist. Or at least, are not very self-aware. We humans are all in the same boat down here. We’ve all got “something.”

That is the beauty (for anyone still reading my obviously very unpopular opinion) of actually working a 12 step program when you have issues with substance abuse.
In real recovery, you actually deal with real people working out their real and messy lives in a pretty miraculous way. And it’s free, and there are principles to guide you (none of which is “follow your bliss” and “find your own truth”) Instead we learn that as addicts, our “truths” are ever-changing and can lead us down many wrong paths and it’s necessary to find a True North which is unchanging

For some, that higher power is God, for others, it is the group, or simply a “God of their understanding” but in all cases, that power comes from outside of onesself. People who are their own God have a not-so-powerful God. And in fact, it’s a pretty disappointing one.

Glennon, I honestly will pray for you and your family. I don’t say that lightly and I don’t want to sound in any way condescending (as it almost always does when someone offers to pray for someone else–sorry). Your true recovery depends on truth. I sincerely hope you find it.

Wow. Way to blow through very clearly stated boundaries and pass judgement on someone else’s life. You both had the choice of not reading or commenting — yet you chose to be cruel. May both of you know more kindness than you’ve shown here.

I came here to thank you. Sorry to see some ugly comments. Especially from people who are not God (can you hear my eyes roll?!)

Your book changed my life. I am not married. My boyfriend, friend, fiance, somehow stumbled on this book and he finally understood me. But most importantly, I feel like I finally understand myself. I have been bawling my eyes out reading this book screaming inside my head YES! YES!

The profound way your words and experience have flipped my world upside down is so valuable. I’m so grateful. I feel so lucky that this book came across my path.

Good for you and your relationship. Sounds like your bond and understanding and commitment is stronger and more real than so many marriages.

What is the definition of “troll”? I have always associated it with hate speech. When a reader disagrees with what a blogger puts out there for the wide world to see–is that hate speech? I think when someone decides to live out-loud, then she and her people need to also understand that because we readers are not of one mold, reactions will be many and varied. You open yourself up to discourse when you blog your life’s intimacies. If you invite only those comments that cement rather than question your position, it seems disingenuous.

Also it needs to be said that when someone writes “I will pray for you” in this context, it is very condescending. This seems to me to be the worst “troll” of all.

This comment is amazingly hypocritical.. “God is pretty clear about divorce..” and then “people love to point at sins that aren’t their own.” You are definitely pointing at someone else. “I don’t want to sound condescending”… but then your whole comment is condescending and cruel. These kinds of insults and judgments paraded as “transparency” do not make you a better person in God’s eyes. I would argue that perhaps you should pray for freedom from your bitterness and judgment, instead of praying for someone else’s family.

Thank you Eve … You echoed my thoughts as I was reading this post. I think it is sobering to that nowhere in the Bible do we read that we are entitled to “be happy.” Jesus certainly didn’t teach that, at least not that I can find. But for many that is the life goal—to finally find happiness. I agree this was about the most heartbreaking post ever. Your courage to speak the truth here in the midst of such hostility (funny how those who preach tolerance are themselves tolerant of of everything imangineable EXCEPT thought. Why is it OK to mock fundamentalists as “fundies” or to speak with such disdain of evangilcalism? Why is that acceptable? Just know you are not alone in your thoughts and response.

That’s true that nowhere in the Bible does it say we are entitled to be happy. Which is yet another reason I for one don’t believe a word of it.

For me the Divine is nature, and the inherent glory of being born a human being, and a female one at that. The family started as a mechanism for survival, and as survival became more reasonably assured, we branched out into relations and feelings and promises, etc.

But all of that is incredibly messy, and more often than not, we get it wrong.

I think Glennon, and every woman, is entitled to do what is right for her situation. Divorce is hard, and in this case, especially, I think she buckled down and did the work and tried very hard to put everything back together and save her marriage. It didn’t work. But it seems that her family unit can stay intact, even if the marriage can’t. This isn’t a poverty stricken woman who needs to stay in a bad situation. This is a wealthy, worldly, articulate woman who can support herself and her children, and make sure they still have both parents in their life in the process.

Kudos to her for being honest with everyone, including herself. And boo to all of you hiding behind your bibles. The Bible is a book written by men, for men, or at least it has been translated that way. The woman’s role in that archaic work is to sacrifice herself in every way imaginable. You must see, though, that this is NOT woman’s role in nature.

I praise God for the gift of Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection that even in the midst of that sin continues to forgive and redeem me every day.

I thank God that He promised me that He can cause all things to work together for good no matter the mess I make.

I thank God that I choose to see Him revealed through the pages of his Word, that is alive, and that by looking to God and not “religion” the comments of others who want to shame and destroy and pass judgment have no effect.

I will neve get into Heaven living a perfect life as dictated by this world. I will only get to heaven by a repentant heart, a servant’s heart, a forgiven daughter of my Jesus.

I’m going to take my chances with divorce and a loving, grace-filled, forgiving God than a destructive marriage and a whole heap of judgment.

AA teaches some alcoholics that they have a right to be happy in their new independant life. Don’t look back at the damage you did or at least forgive yourself and start your new life. You have a sponser that in no way can identify with your whole family but play the role of marriage counselor. It is a flawed program. No accountability for a sponser who sometimes steps outside the program and gives advice without knowing the family or the other side of the story. God is very clear about divorce, very, and never says we have a right to be happy. I feel sorry for you because you have totally contradicted your book. I am willing to bet you didn’t make this decision on your own. I think you have probably caused more damage to other marriages going public with this. You need to get your bible and find the many, many verses and chapters about what Christ says about divorce, even separation. Look at your marriage vows, the covenant you made with God. If you are a Christian that should mean something to you. After you do all of that, go back and read your own book. Love is a feeling that can come and go. Christ did not think about himself when he suffered for you and me. Too many people think the marriage vow is just a license to live together, until they are over come with their own feelings and happiness. Really feel for you..if we all act on our feelings there would be more divorces and separations. Adultry is truly a sin, a forgiveable one. Not blaming you because I don’t know the circumstances but have you wondered what made your husband have an affair? Have you really worked hard on steps 4&5? Is the letter, that should have been confidential and sacred for your children’s sake a way to make this easier for your family or for your own justification? I feel for you and family but your book, your decision and your self cleansing blog do seem to make you look narsasistic. Have you sought good spiritual counseling for yourself. If not, you owe it to yourself and your family. What is your view of happiness? Do you think your husband will be your available down the street neighbor for long? I pray that you will put yourself aside, for a while and consider the BIG picture.

Thank you for confirming why I, as well as so many others, run in the opposite direction of institutionalized religion, despite having been raised in Christianity myself. What you have written was not from love, but from self-righteous bigotry.

There is a way to express your opinion or disagreement without judgement and I would seriously suggest you take a look at your own sin before throwing stones. It seems to me that there is a lot of soul-searching of your own that needs to be done, preferably before you post your thoughts on topics that are occurring in someone else’s life.

** And as an extra double-whammy, she’s now in a relationship with a woman. However, I beg you: please spare us your insight on this decision – I fear there’s enough of your approach to disagreement being expressed around the world as of late. The world’s reached its limit for intolerance.

Sophie- I’m curious what expressing a differing opinion/disagreement without judging looks like to you. I didn’t see Eve call names or ‘hate’ which has become a catch all phrase for anyone who disagrees with people nowadays. It’s very sad that we aren’t allowed to have our own opinions now unless they match someone else’s.

If you grew up in the Christian faith, then you should know that there are many passages about restoring another Christian’s faith gently while still remaining firm in the truth that is God’s Word. The Bible is pretty clear on marriage, along with homosexuality, and a variety of topics. If someone professes to be one of us, meaning a Christ follower, it is important that they are living a life that reflects Christ. Not only his love, but the daily choices made that reflect what God wants for our lives, not decisions made out of human selfishness. I’m sure you will disagree with everything I said & that’s okay. I don’t hate you, I don’t hate her, but I feel sadness that she’s professing to be something she clearly isn’t. Thanks for your thoughtful response eve. I too will be unpopular now:)

Thank you so much for everything you said. “Call a thing a thing.” My heart is aching for the kids, too. I was feeling so alone (and sad!) about all the affirming comments and then I read yours and breathed a sigh of relief (through the tears for our fellow women and men) that someone at least still understands what marriage is about.
And to anyone who thinks this is judgment… There is a chasm-sized difference between judgment and discernment. We all need each other to help point us back to Christ, we can’t only listen to our own voice… Or we will surely lose our way.

Dear Eve, your comment is spot on!! The bible should be our guiding light in what we choose in life, being a christian. Not our feelings or desires or society’s standard, or something else which is temporary. Yahweh is forever and His Word is forever and will stand the test of all times! Hope Glennon will reconsider what’s most important …. 🙂

Eve, I also wonder how you feel about the newest update from Glennon…. ? Very, very sad, I’d say…. 🙁

There’s a book titled, “The Year of Living Biblically” and it makes me wonder whether you or anyone else on this thread that believes we should follow the bible as a “guiding light in what we choose in life”, has actually lived in such a way. Are you avoiding wearing clothes of mixed fibers? Are you stoning adulterers? Do you obey the bible in its entirety or do you pick and choose what applies to you? Maybe you should read that text you hold so sacred a little more closely, get to living biblically yourself, and worry less about others.

Thank you for being brave enough to say this.
I too have been through a fight for my marriage, and I lost. My husband had no interest in repairing it. I know Glennon is in pain, and it is understandable that she would leave. I am sure most would defend her for leaving. However, pretending like divorce, separation, and infidelity (on both sides in this case) are not sinful and wrong just isn’t truth.
I read Love Warrior because I wanted to about how two broken people rebuilt their marriage, or at least how they recovered from its ending. I am divorced, although not by choice. I cannot begin to tell you the parallels between my marriage and what I read in Love Warrior. It was very painful to read and moving. In fact, it was truer to my story than most other stories I’ve read. Glennon explained in ways I hadn’t been able to put into words what went wrong in my marriage. I would have given anything for my husband to choose to stay and fight for our marriage, but he was weak. Truly. He didn’t try. The saddest part is when people tell you that it is going to be better than before. No. Divorce destroys families (as does infidelity), and the scars are permanent. It will not be the same again. The best I can do as a divorced women is to let people know that it sucks, that there isn’t a way to completely heal because it isn’t what God intended. We were permanently joined, and losing part of you doesn’t heal.
My biggest fear has been that my children have virtually no chance of staying married given the model they have seen. To believe that you should leave when you aren’t happy or aren’t in love is so tragic. It is accepted as the truth, but it isn’t. No one will be “in love” forever. No one will be happy throughout their whole marriage. Those who tell you differently are lying or just haven’t realized where their spouse is. Marriage is not in any way about being happy. (Neither is life.) It is about living out love in the truest way possible. It is a model of how we all are to love each other. Wanting to be free of the pain of marriage and to be happy is normal. But upholding such choices as honorable or noble isn’t “truth.” Choosing to stay and fight is hard. I tried for 3+ years. It was miserable. I get that, and I honestly ache for Glennon. Those who haven’t been through infidelity and the damage it does in places deep down you don’t even know are there have no idea how difficult it is. Yes, deciding to leave to relieve the pain is a release, but isn’t a happy ending. Sometimes not sharing the truth with someone is more cruel than to let them continue as if what they are doing is okay. It is painful when someone calls me on ways I am wrong in my relationships, but it is better than them to pretend it is okay and let me continue.
Yes, I know you will all pray for me. I need it. I am a sinner, and I know most people do not think staying with a cheater is an honorable thing to do. Fine. I just wanted to thank Eve for sharing a dissenting opinion. I do believe that we all hear the voice of God in the midst of the pain. Most of us have been through something similar or we wouldn’t be here. Sometimes we actively choose not to listen because it is just too painful. God is telling me to work through pain I don’t want to face. I know He will eventually win. I am confident that He will eventually win in Glennon’s life as well. May she and so the many who come here be blessed in that.

Best commentary ever … I just finished the book …. I was taken by it ….. I related to her not the addition but the self awareness about the true and representative we all protray and I loved the book … and now minutes after reading all about her – realized she was divorcing ..: yes shocked bc of all the work they put in for their family and kids ..yet now reading these posts wondering if fame didn’t get in her head – or maybe the eating disorder / alcoholism / wild life and bad decisions with men didn’t play a role in a hidden fear of her always being gay …. not sure .. don’t care …. the book was a great read .. I related to most of the basic messages and that’s a good read but her own “truth” or journey or spirituality isn’t mine beliefs so it’s her judgement day ….: and her sword to carry …. and her kids will suffer through this mess but all our children suffer and … we all learn to be resilient ..yet I am disappointed bc it could of been such a beautiful story end but is there ever a fairy tail ending … I always am cautious about books and truths ever since s million little pieces came out as a lie …. also promoted by Oprah … but I agree with your post 100% yet enjoyed the book and now feel sad that her true and journey seem to have a deeper lie beneath and most girls I know who had life styles considerable to hers with men usually end up leading alternative lifestyle later on in life … it’s the rob Lowe syndrome ….. but anyway .. great read … truthful reaction in your post and I guess I am not shocked now that I know she is gay ….. no wonder his affections and hugs seemed foreign to her – I guess but I can’t judge I got my own shit

I understand the commenters that don’t agree with Glennon’s statement. I know they hold dear and fierce to their beliefs about marriage. Is leaving Craig the right choice? I’d like to think not. To feel safer and more confident in MY OWN choices, I hope Glennon is totally fucking up here. But what the hell do I know? What I do know is that none of us have any right to expect perfection of her. Or to hold her to some high spiritual and maturity standard that exists for no human. She’s on a path of growth. And she’s doing the next best thing she knows to do. Is she caught up in her brand and media? I think she might be. Does she deserve this success after the incredible display of talent and extent to which she has led others to a higher level of understanding? Yes. Are all of her choices perfect? Absolutely not.

I read Love Warrior. It was real. The person I came to know in that book doesn’t always jive with the one I see on social media. But there is no doubt in my mind that what I read is real. Here is what I do know. She has a gift. And she has delivered that gift to us in the almost perfect articulation of a journey so many of us have either endured or will endure in our future. Her words in Love Warrior are unprecedented and have given many of us the means to understand the complicated turns our lives have taken. Can we not just be grateful for that? Can we accept the gift that Love Warrior is and stop demanding perfection from its human author?

Love your way of stating a possibly different opinion to the author, yet being respectful and unjudging. There is a tone here which is very different from the black and white-ness of most of the other ones, especially people talking about the Bible. Interestingly, these people do not seem to hear their own tone, they seem to believe they are simply stating an opinion.
I wish they will read your comment and maybe learn something.
It’s understandable that people who need to have an objective, categorical truth, a true North that is outside of themselves and their own intuition, it’s understandable they will take offense but that does not give them the right to project that feeling onto others in an invasive way. That is a sort of violence in my world. So thanks for showing another way of disagreeing- even though it doesn’t reflect my thoughts and feelings.

Oh, the comment I loved and replied to was from Emmy!
Glendon’s post strikes me as very real and brave, but it’s hard for me to have an opinion on what really happened, if she managed to follow her truth or not. But., it is clear she does her best and that’s all you can do.
If there was no other, person involved at all, just two people outgrowing eachother, it is such a gift in my eyes, when two people manage to resolve their relationship as a team, with no third person involved..it would be much clearer…as it is nor I can only applaud her bravery and strong effort to do what seems true. Who am I to know if she managed to do this fully, I am an outsider without the needed insight or information….but I get very inspired to read her book, and I deeply feel for her in her quest to be a warrior of love to the best of her ability.

I’d like to say that I feel so sorry for the women who responded. Most of your lives have been tragic. I just finished reading Glennon’s latest book. After finishing it, I immediately Googled to see what happened between her and Craig. I wasn’t surprised that their marriage hasn’t lasted. I’m no marriage therapist, just a 68 year old woman who just celebrated 47 years of marriage (yes, to the same man!).

After reading the stories of some of the women who responded, I feel so blessed to have (1) chosen the person who loved me more than I did him, when we married, he’s treats me like a queen our whole life; (2) realized that marriage wasn’t going to be the perfect fantasy life inked into our imagination, (3) never uttered the “D” word when we argued… and too many more observations to list here that have kept our marriage strong all these years. Don’t be discouraged ladies, long lasting do exist.

Thank you, Jean. I am young (only 20) and so scared. I have been dating my boyfriend for only a year and a half, but I want to make forever work. G’s divorce has definitely shaken me; its hard to not rely on one story.

Glennon – Wish I could take a GIANT THICK BLACK sharpie to my computer screen right now and cross out “This is a marriage book”. It may be that to some people, but it is so much more than that to me. I caught myself getting a little defensive and offended by that! It is not just a marriage book. This book helped me look inward to times that I buried so deeply that opening the box was tough, but so damn necessary and freeing. This box helped me to start living and being OK with messy. This is not a marriage book and you are way more to me than your marriage. Thank you for courage.

Yes. This is so much more than a marriage book. I imagine marketing requires branding, strategy, etc. but there is something viscerally honest in Love Warrior that will set people free. Freedom is a beautiful responsibility. G, you are deeply loved. And Ultimately, not responsible for a single one of us. We belong to each other, yes, but we must own our stories or we are in danger of devoting our belonging to myths. Glennon, you are brave. You are broken. You are beautiful. I hope I am all of the above. Thank you for lifting the blinds of the glass house. You allowed us each the opportunity to see what vulnerable looks like and what LOVE can do to fear. Warrior on.

I just finished “Love Warrior,” and I want to thank you. The book articulated things I have found to be true, and so I resonated with many aspects of your story. I wanted my step daughter to read about beauty, my husband to read about your husband’s infidelity because he’d been cheated on, and the chasm between his ex and him has left scars. Understanding what it is to be a mother, to birth children and have that physicality isn’t something I could help him with, but it is something you can.

I am divorced, too, and it was the most difficult thing I have ever done. I also found hot yoga and crying the most healing salve to my process, asking myself “Where are you?” all practice long. I felt so disjointed, so raw and safe on my mat. It’s where I let the tears and sweat flow through my hands, where I tried no to hold on too tightly to what was ‘supposed’ to happen, where I was able to wring out my hurt and make room for manifesting the life I have now.

God wants us to be happy, and we are God, too. We can make our lives heaven or hell. We are co-creators, powerful and sentient, able to feel the next right thing, just like you said. I want to bless your process, Sister, and reassure you that your happy is possible. You know this, though: your little voice has said it’s so, and she knows the Truth.

The fears you described about a possible step-mom are heart-ache, and mirror opposites the fears I felt before I signed up for the job. But Craig sounds smart enough to pick a woman who won’t try to take your place, who will struggle to find what the blobby, ever-boundary-shifting role of a step-mom means, who will respect yours. I’m sure she will make mistakes. I’m sure you can help her, too, by speaking your truth and giving her grace. Step mom is not a role anyone aspires to when they are little girls, after learning that ‘wicked’ usually precedes the word. Try to remember that.

Truth … I am a step mom … my husband has a nightmare of an ex and all I can do is survive their ugliness their kids are wonderful I have my own .. so I love the 2 girls like little sisters but her hate for me is almost destroying my soul

I was 26 years old, had been drunk the night before and was certain that, although it was faint, the line on my pregnancy test was enough to confirm my greatest fear. And the fear didn’t disappear, but it was challenged by a love that I didn’t even know I was capable of. A love that nothing could compete with for long. I got sober- cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, disordered eating. It all had to go. Not because I couldn’t find room for it in my life anymore, but because my life was no longer just my own. And just like you said, I finally wanted to be something MORE than I wanted a drink or a smoke or a number on the scale (mostly just the empowerment those things gave me).
I committed to marrying my son’s father, too. And I did. We have a young marriage, and two young boys, 2 and 1.
In the midst of our sons being born, I experienced the catastrophic loss of my best friend, my only sibling, my brother. Having been in a whirlwind of suddenly being catapulted from the life of an alone workaholic, alcoholic, disordered eater to someone desirable enough to be married, worthy enough to be financially supported so that my focus could be my sons, and sober enough to really believe that I could live a whole life this way. And THEN a haze of suddenly mourning the loss of my baby brother and becoming the only living child of my parents I have struggled to make my days count and not waste them away with regret and mourning.
Through all of this the reality of who my husband is, the direction his life is heading, has been somewhat of a mystery to me. The distraction of two young sons who NEED me, two parents who NEED me, has left me unclear even on the direction my life is heading. I was so totally shattered at the point that my son came to me. I had so many scars in need of healing and no time to heal – with a new baby and wedding to plan, and trying to decide how this man was going to fit into my life FOREVER. And then the pieces took on a whole new level of shattered when Alex left me here to figure it all out without his physical form here with me. He was the first person I called when I found out I was pregnant. I made him promise me that he would be all in with me on this. I couldn’t do it without him. And here I am with a brand new husband and a nine month old son and my brother has taken the greatest promotion he can get and left me here in this life alone.
I am still scrambling to put all of this back together, to create a consistent and nurturing home for my sons to grow up in, and not certain that my shards are being reassembled in a way that can include my husband as MY HUSBAND. I can’t say that I am fiercely proud of him. The work he has put in is not enough. Dishonesty of one of his drugs of choice. The others he gets away with using by way of his dishonesty. I have been desperately trying to work through my strong confidence in my husband as a father, but my remaining desire to separate from him. He will always be my strong, beautiful, intelligent sons’ father, and for that he will always be a part of my life. But does he need to be my husband? And does my relatively newfound fierce sense of morality, love, and self-respect need to be compromised in an effort to keep my sons’ mother and father in the same house?
Much like the honesty just pouring out of you that you described in your interview with Oprah, I apparently hit the same stride you did. I certainly didn’t need to spill all of that to say what I am here to say: Thank you. It is such a relief to know that I am not alone. And that judgment doesn’t need to be a part of the equation. Just support. Love. Confidence in our fellow women to do the right thing. To keep God close to them no matter who that forces us to distance ourselves from. Thank you.

Thank you. Sending lots of light and love to you and your tribe. Thank you for sending your light and love to me and everyone else through your work- it’s changing my life and my relationship with myself.

You are the bravest woman on this planet. I think the honesty and bravery you and your family are offering and living speaks volumes. You, your children and your (ex) husband should be very proud of how you are working through this, to bring the best forward and keeping souls intact. Who knows what will happen in the long run. I can’t tell you how much your story and your bravery has brought to my life, stirring things up. No one gets to judge you……and you covered all the bases. Carry on!!! God bless you and your family!!

I haven’t even finished listening to your conversation with Elizbeth Gilbert and I had to google you. I realize that I am not part of your community, (30 minutes ago I had no idea who you were) but thanks to Liz I now do and I feel pretty lucky about it. So even though I am a newbie, I’m just going to say, I’m close, I will stay close and keep you in my thoughts and prayers, all of you (husband. kids). We are all on our own journeys, in our own ways, our own paths, no two alike (so hopefully people won’t compare). You obviously are beautiful inside and that shines outward. Stay YOU! You worked hard for it!
I’m really glad I have found you. You’re doing awesome!

Thank you for this. It made me feel a little tearful. I offer somewhat of a different perspective here: Being the child of parents who had needed to have this type of honest conversation with each other some 30 years ago, I can honestly say that no one does their children any favors by living in the hell of pretense. For the child in this marriage, it is unbearable and leaves life-long scars. Naturally I love and appreciate my parents dearly, but this experience can and will distort your perception of reality, truth and love if you let it. It has taken me many years to heal from this and I am still working toward healing everyday. God has however blessed me with a husband who everyday teaches me love, kindness and patience. I am grateful.
Thank you for your honestly, it confirms my reality.
Much love

I completely understand your decision. I too have been going through the same things you did. I put up with it for 21 years, 21 years and he’s still not better. I don’t think he will ever be. You know you can never trust them again once they have betrayed you in this way. I have let myself be totally taken over by this in the past. I have been admitted to a mental hospital 2 times for this. My children are now grown and scarred by what they have been through. You are right to leave now. Your children still have a chance for a normal life. I’m not saying my children aren’t successful adults, they are. I know this has effected them in so many ways. I don’t have time to go into it all. I just think you should know I think you are right. What you are doing is right. You deserve a relationship where your spouse has never betrayed you. Where you are the only woman he lusts for. Where you are the only woman he wants to make love to. Once they betray you it’s never better. I have tried to trust my husband over and over again and it’s always the same in the end. I feel like I am dying inside. I have a happy face on the outside for everyone else. You are doing the right thing!

Cynthia, are you still hanging in there with a smile only on the outside? You are a warrior of your own kind. No one can determine what works best for you but you and trust that. If you can’t trust him again learn to trust yourself. You are young enough to move in any direction you need. Be strong within yourself and let some of your smile shine within!

I only discovered who you were a few days ago when my boss told me I should read your new book. So, I read it. I couldn’t put it down. I felt like I knew you, like someone finally understood me.
I didn’t see you when you were in Portland, and I wish I could have.
You’ve changed me in a way and have made me realize that I can’t run from the pain, I have to feel it.
After a year of fighting so hard to save my marriage, I realized I’m not being true to me and that I have to put me first because if I don’t then I will tear down more than just myself. So, on Monday, after months apart I told my husband I wanted a divorce. I love him a lot, but I can’t fight his battle and my own to make it work and I’m tired of trying to fight both, I’ve realized I can only fight my own.
Truthfully, Glennon, I need you. You’re my role model because after reading what you wrote I finally feel like I’m really going to be okay and that I’m not a terrible person and that I am my own hero.

OMG are you for real! “the most important thing you’ve ever written? Really? I never fault someone for building a brand and making a living- but please people see this for what it is. There are better places to get support, real life support from real friends and professionals. All we are doing is feeding her machine, her ego. And yes women can be Narcissistic too, and that is not always a negative thing. This lady is so early in her recovery process. I read very little in the book about what she learned about her part in the demise of her marriage. There are always two sides and lessons to be learned. If folks want healing better to do it with living breathing folks you can find every day in the recovery community for free.

Are YOU for real? Seems like you must have read a different book than the rest of us, as a huge part of it deals with her personal journey through marriage and relationship. That is the entire premise of the book! Stop tearing someone down who is obviously just being real and vulnerable here, and who is helping so many people on their own journeys.

I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this must be for you and your family these days. Carry on, head held high, heart filled with love, knowing that if nothing else, you’re being true to yourself. Hugs from Minnesota!

Thank you Glennon. After a year healing from my husband of 27 years infidelity I am having difficulty feeling the way I used to. He is trying so hard and I feel so horrible for feeling the way I do. I know it’s about time to be intimate again as I’ve been putting it off and I feel as though I am selling myself out. Where these new “platonic” feelings are coming from, I don’t know. Why would it take a year to fall out of love? I know he would spend the rest of our lives making it up to me but I’m just not sure that is even what it’s all about. I have lost myself again. God bless you, Glennon. I get it.

I am currently separated with my husband and painfully decided to get a divorce. He revealed to me that he is a sex addict. I knew about his alcoholism but his sex addiction was a total secret for 17 years. I fought so our family can e together. I love your choice of words and please feel free to reach out to me. What helped me is al Anon program and my therapist of all the trauma I endured during our marriage. At 36- I’m growing up and surrendering to Gods will. You and your family are in my prayers. One day ata time and listen to your God consciousness which is your intuition.

I am obsessed with Love Warrior right now. I have it on audio and I will buy it in hardcover because there is so much valuable and amazing content there I want to go over and over again. The other thing I am doing is encouraging my daughter who is amazing to read it. She just became a mother to my lovely granddaughter, and I think your book should be required reading. I found so much in there that I related to, that I know my daughter will relate to, and I know if my mother was still alive she would have loved it too. I am currently going through a difficult period with menopause. Had no idea how profoundly this would change my world. But I found lots of comfort in reading how you responded to your life’s challenges. I just bought tickets to see you in L.A. at the Architects of Change event so know that you have another one of your “people” there to cheer you on. Thank you so much for your writing!

Someone once gave me a vision about marriage. In the distance you can see a mountain with many colorful Orange spots, getting closer you can see that they are flags. These flags are scattered everywhere. Many are at the bottom, some farther up, some within two feet of the top. Others are placed at the top. I see Glennons flag now, placed on the mountain now- just three feet from the top. This is her journey, this is her flag.

I have been where you have been — fighting hard, fighting relentlessly to save a marriage that I believed in, a marriage that I thought God wanted me to stay in, a marriage that I thought needed to be held together for the sake of our beautiful, kind, loving children. I feel like I have done everything I can — prayed, conversed, cried, shared, explained, asked. It got better — the marriage. And the love-making seemed redemptive, at times. And it also made the relationship seem worthy of holding on to. However, bad behavioral habits tend to keep repeating themselves and it sucks the happiness out of me. I know, I really do know, that caring for my own soul and listening to God’s direction is the only way to go. Yet, it is so hard. So hard to walk away from a decades-long relationship. So hard to walk away from what you feel you were portraying to the world as a good, strong and healthy marriage. But, I feel that I can’t do it anymore. The fight, the struggle has zapped my energy. I find myself, lately, turning to alcohol to relieve the stress. Not good! I don’t even like alcohol. Thank you, Glennon. Thank you for your honesty and transparency. Thank you for letting God speak through you to reach the many readers that you have. God bless you! Keep on shining and bringing honesty into this world.

I have done hardly anything but read your books for the past couple of weeks. This is a bit difficult with two toddlers but I couldn’t help myself. Your words, my God, your words. I was supposed to read your words. Thank you for your honesty, thank you for your vulnerability, thank you for laying it all out there because I am healed just a little bit, in some places I have buried down deep and I can’t thank you enough. I sent Carry On to my closest friends and told them to get their highlighter ready. You are a shining light in my life right now. I will see you in Denver!

I loved your book! I could feel your devastation, and pain, I could feel the love you and your husband have for each other. I am just amazed at your strength!! I want to learn how to be true to myself!!!!!

Read the book in one afternoon. I heard you on Marie Forleo, Linda Sivertsen’s Beautiful Writers Group. This book, this post-publishing revelation is such a gift to the world. This is not my story as I have been blessed with a sense of myself as beautiful, whole somehow. I chose the path of singledom until I found the right man, and married at 43. The huge gift of your book for me is to articulate what’s going on for those who don’t see themselves as beautiful. I see my friends, my sisters and I better understand them. All behaviour has a positive intent, even the seemingly destructive. Soul, marriage, no competition. Amen and thank you Soul Sister.

I haven’t finished your book but I saw your episode with Oprah and then I came here to read your post about the news. How brave you are and yes how did you do it??!! My goodness I am in the midst of something similar to what you’ve been through yet I identify with the part of you that says you no longer fit and we haven’t even gone to therapy yet…idk whats going to happen but I appreciate your courage for sharing your story. blessings to you & your family.

One of the things that rarely seems to come up in these conversations about divorce and infidelity is narcissistic personality disorder. If you have been cheated on, and your partner isn’t able to show genuine remorse, or he is able to present a flawless image to others, but something has always seemed “off” to you, I strongly recommend that you google narcissistic personality disorder. The bottom line is that this disorder usually does not get better and is very, very difficult to treat, since most narcissists do not believe that they have a problem.

Not all cheaters are narcissists. Sometimes cheating is simply an all too human mistake. But most narcissists cheat and emotionally abuse their partners. If you think you might be involved with a narcissist, please educate yourself. And formulate an exit strategy. These people are so good at manipulation, you don’t even realize it’s happening.

With all due respect, while he may be somewhere on the spectrum, I doubt seriously that her husband has full blown npd. If he did, her current relationship with him would probably resemble a war zone. Narcissists burn it to the ground.

Glennon, I saw your interview on Super Soul Sunday, and I ordered your books the next day. They arrived today, and I was so excited – I have read Brene Brown and Cheryl Strayed and Liz Gilbert so many times I can hear the echo of their voices when my life gets too crazy. I recently left a relationship I had been in for almost 15 years and I have been struggling with how to remain ‘friends’ and keep my soul safe…. and I have been looking forward to adding your voice to the chorus – thank goodness for cheerleaders!! Please realize what an amazing community you have here, and remember all the cheerleaders you have also (even if we are not quite so articulate!!) Sending good thoughts to you….

I found you through Marie Forleo’s interview the other week and since then have scrambled to buy your book online and proceeded to gulp it down in two days. I feel similar to you in so many ways – I don’t think a piece of writing has ever described me so accurately, even the experiences that I haven’t physically endured. Your honesty and authenticity is a sweet balm for my soul.

This past year has been one of three personal rock bottoms I’ve experienced in my life. My husband and I married quite young, 20/21 – both so very broken and looking for a safe place to land. Now, after almost eight years of marriage, we have decided to separate. We went the third “route” and healed together and are intent on being “life-partners” in the unexpected sense. We are about to announce our separation next week, after a year of soul-searching and finding inner peace about our decision first, and your words were exactly what I needed to hear to make me stand a little taller at the thought of sharing the news.

The word “warrior” has been stuck with me the past while. I have always disliked my middle name. Then one day last year, I decided to look up the meaning and lo and behold the words “renowned warrior” appeared on the screen. All of a sudden I felt fierce. I took new strength from this meaning and combined with my first name, Sophie, I saw the beauty in being a “wise warrior.” Naturally, when I saw the title of your book I was completely elated.

So thank you for your honesty and bravery with where you are at right now, despite the initial intent of the book. Good God, it is so refreshing to see truth instead of cover-ups and “right timing.” Thank you for looking at your hurt as best you can and trying to learn and “unbecome” from it and then sharing your heart with the world. So much love to you!

Having “chosen” to leave my marriage almost 20 years ago to the day, I know a little bit the pain, the confusion, the deep beauty and the quiet, rebellious self-love that such a journey can bring. Leaving my marriage when my kids were young was perhaps the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I believe it saved my life. the years that followed my divorce were the truest and hardest of my life and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

And despite all my fears, my kids turned out just fine. Kids are so resilient. They know when they are loved. They are wise little souls themselves. Your children are so lucky to have you.

As a sister who has walked in similar shoes, and survived, and thrived, and learned to love again, I send you all my love and hope for your beautiful future.

I just ordered the book and I am waiting by my mailbox! I discovered my husband’s infidelity exactly one year ago. For that entire year (and many years before actually) I fought like hell for my marriage. We tried to put it all back together. Months of talking, therapy, moving out, moving back in and more therapy, we concluded it was over. It was a year of highest highs and lowest lows but I learned a lot. Being honest with yourself is key in any relationship. It took me a year to figure that part out, but I finally learned I need to be true to myself. Your bravery is an inspiration to me!

A few days ago I saw you on Super Soul Sunday with Oprah. I was not familiar with you or your work. I was very impressed with your openness so I came to read your blog. I landed on this post where you told your husband you no longer “fit”. That is exactly how I feel and for many of the same reasons as you.
I’ve struggled for several years with no longer “fitting” in my skin due to serious illness, menopause, and my husband’s infidelity. I’ve been a recovering bulimic for over 20 years as well. I grew up in a home full of tension due to parents who stayed together for the child (please never ever do this) but did nothing to hide their disgust and disdain for each other from me.
I read more of your blog and suddenly it hit me: God loves me. And if God loves me unconditionally, why can’t I love myself? Who am I to say I’m unworthy? I AM WORTHY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!
I saw in my mind’s eye, my inner child dancing around saying “I love me, I love me!”. Within a day I had forgiven myself. Not for anything…just forgiven. Unconditionally.
Then a couple days later I realized I’ve forgiven my husband. I never knew if I could. And I have. I can breathe again.
God Bless you. I’ll hold you and your family in my prayers. Thank you.

Girl-I am a warrior who fought breast cancer like a Viking. I didn’t survive-I warriored my way through it. And then, I was a warrior when I decided to save my soul and protect my children’s souls, which meant ending my marriage. You will be judged. I have been judged. When you have breast cancer, everyone wants to help. When you get a divorce, no one wants to talk to you except for the women who whisper and ask, “How did you do it?” I am grateful for you, for your bravery. Take good care of yourself while on tour and remember you have a tribe of warriors with you everywhere you go.

I’m now some 14 years out of an inauthentic marriage that was based on so many lies we were taught to tell ourselves and others (the worst one? that being “NICE” is the ultimate modern Christian virtue).

It felt like swallowing glass when it inevitably folded, but the outrageous blessings all around have been God, Grace, and groOOOWTH.

Painful?? Excruciatingly.

“Easy way out”?? Hells NO!!!!!!

Worth it?? Every scrap. Every tear. Every tearing.

WORTH. IT.

Because God does redeem pain and turns it into something beautiful, if we choose to let Him!!

People love the way you speak TRUTH Glennon…because it’s EVERYONE’s TRUTH!

Glennon, I finished your book earlier this week. As a woman who has been through trauma in my marriage, I appreciated your honesty about the News, how it felt to you, and what you did to heal. From my own experience, I believe the ups and downs in your feelings and affection for him during that time were normal and the roller coaster lasts a long time. Its very hard to earn trust back even if you want to.
Most women are not so open about these thing (understandably so.) When I read your book, it brought up some hard feelings that I’ve been working through and I also knew I am not alone. My “News” was a little different, but your book reminded me that I am not alone in my feelings in the wake of betrayal. Its interesting how the world and sometimes the family, the spouse, the church, etc, will squash your feelings as if they are part of the problem. They tell you to put them away so their system can keep working the way it always has.
As hard as it is to open up our lives, I believe its important to share these feelings because we are not alone. Sometimes we need to know that in order to allow those feelings to surface so we can address them and heal.

My marriage is still in tact and we are both working hard. However, the comments about you quitting when your husband did everything to change… those people must not understand the knife of this type of betrayal- the way a bomb goes off in your head that scatters the reality and memories you thought you had- the way you have to piece it all back together and it’s different- its something you didn’t agree to and it hurts so much.
Its not as simple as one person changes and the other forgives. Living in a marriage where there is no trust or not enough trust is frightening and exhausting and it lasts a long time. Its a lot to ask from a partner- sometimes its too much. Its not the plan for everybody.

Most of us are doing the best we can with the life we’ve been given and the tools we have. You are right that God never leaves us on that journey no matter where we go and he never gives up on us.

“the way a bomb goes off in your head that scatters the reality and memories you thought you had- the way you have to piece it all back together and it’s different- its something you didn’t agree to and it hurts so much.” This so perfectly sums up what I am feeling nearly 3 months after learning of my husband’s affair. He is doing all of the “right” things to recommit to our relationship, but I am having so much trouble remembering what that relationship was. Everything is colored by his betrayal. I am trying to piece my life, our life, back together but it is so, so exhausting emotionally. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am no longer working toward reconciliation, but toward peace. Maybe reconciliation will be the end result, but it is too much to expect of myself right now.

You are brave. I’m trying to let your braveness rub off on me. My marriage is not honest. My husband is a sex addict and I am so miserable. This is marriage number three and I just think what’s wrong with me? Sometime it’s a lonely, scary place in this world but I feel so much better because of your honesty. Thank you. It’s hard sooo hard. Now where to go from here….

I too read this blog again after reading the book. I thought there was something missing but as I read your last comments I understand there is exactly what there is suppose to be. Your writing is a breath of fresh air, and tho I’ve not experienced anything you have, I’ve started to realize that I am a warrior of my own kind. Even with different experiences and paths I appreciate you speaking truth and in a way teaching all of us to speak truth and doing it with love or learning how to let love rule thru truth. Thank you for that, Glennon!! Thank you and blessings to you and yours!!
p.s. I’ve been trying to find a way to msg you privately or through one of your peeps as I have a request.
My best friend has been thru a journey slightly similar to yours (in the marriage part) and she has been listening to the small voice. A love warrior indeed is she! When I received the tattoos, she was the one I was going to share it with and post pics of us sporting them. We got mine on o.k. but thru fuzzy, sleep deprived minds, we messed up hers and forgot to take off the paper. Wanted to see if there was a way to purchase a couple of more so we could try again? Those were a stroke of genius by the way!!

In reading and then scanning through the comments on this piece, it seems more honest you are, the more ammunition you give to others. We all feel so much safer with our representatives standing in for us, don’t we? Thank you for standing in front of us yourself, Glennon – for being a Truth Teller. Your journey is your journey, and the details you choose to tell or not tell, are yours alone … just as your perceptions are yours alone. All I can say is that I am learning not to judge myself or others so harshly through reading your work. Thank you for helping me learn this. May we all learn to find the peace that non-judgment brings.

Glennon, in finishing Love Warrior, I thought, “of course.” I wish your book could offer a “happily ever after” in relation to your journey – but what is the “ever after,” anyway? I think we would all get bored brushing our long hair and picking out dresses for the ball. You told your story, and your journey, in a way that felt incredibly honest to me – Love Warrior is one of the most honest books I have ever read. Thank you for that, and thank you for maintaining your honestly in sharing the news of your divorce. I am so glad to know the ways in which you are mending. Keep up the lovingkindness, sister. You are an inspiration.

Just finished your book (signed copy w/artwork = winning! 🙂 ) last night, and had to come back to reread this post in light of all that you shared there.

I am just in awe at the jaw-dropping gorgeousness of you both, as a married couple, as individuals, as life partners. So many could only wish for the kind of love and friendship that you and Craig have now, as separated, yet connected, friends, in their own marriages.

You did the hard work. He did the hard work. And it paid off. So much depth in honesty and love. Congratulations. <3

I have been reading your book and am almost done. While I am sad for the hard parts that you and your family will go through in the next period, I am also happy to see this result. Staying with your husband seems almost impossible to me if you were traumatized and have changed as much as it appears that you have. Its a big step but there are others of us out here doing it and leading amazing lives. Best wishes for the future.

Divorce is not the end of the world. Not even for most kids. Seriously, the people who act as though life ends for children of divorce need to look around, there are tons of kids who are completely ok with divorced parents. Even the most dire studies show that the vast majority of kids from divorced families actually do pretty damn well. Sure, maybe we have some trepidation about relationships but maybe more of us should! There are so many things parents can do to help lessen the possibility of negative effects of divorce and if they do those things and kids don’t have increased trauma due to active addiction, violence or poverty guess what? Kids actually do incredibly well, some studies even show things like certain kids do much better. Painting divorce with this giant brush negates so many experiences that people have had, people like me for example. I wish people would grow up and stop using divorce screwing up kids as a fear tactic. Yes, it also can be traumatizing to live life. Now breathe and stop freaking out so much. Some of us grow up and actually function, heck Brene Brown has divorced parents and look at the awesomeness we all have learned from her. Trauma can create resilience and understanding or it can create fear and panic and I am dismayed at the number of Christians who choose fear and panic the moment divorce comes up.

So honest and true. Just finished your book. I ordered it a bit blind, just thinking it was going to be your spiritual journey–not knowing it would be your WHOLE journey. The writing was brave. The post-book telling of truth of your letting go of your marriage is just…love. You are a brave woman. Keep showing up, Glennon, you are a gift.

Hi Glennon
I’ve been following you for years. I read this post before your book was released, honestly I felt so many things but mostly curiosity.
So I just purchased your book last night and finished it in one day!
I am not as eloquent as you by any means but I can’t get over how real you are. You said things in this book that made me feel so real, so connected.
I felt so sad for the younger version of yourself and could relate a little to your body image issues but mostly to the loosing yourself in what a woman or girl is supposed to be. It feels so unfair!! I feel like I raised my daughter to love herself and she does she is so much better than I was.
When you started talking about sex and being hugged when you didn’t want to, and the sex that men seem to need from us. I just felt so understood! I started marriage counseling last December, for us there has been no infedelity just a workaholic. But therapy has moved us closer and changed us. My husband cries almost every time we go. He begs for my honesty, it’s been the hardest thing to do for me. To expose myself.
When you talked about being hugged from behind, about eating, about breathing. I just felt so understood.
I will continue to open up to my husband and continue to speak my truth.
I’m happy that you found yourself? I’m glad you will move on from this marriage if it’s not right for you.
Anyway I just wanted to thank you, I can’t even explain how I feel right now.
I feel so completely moved to tears and I don’t know why.
God bless you and your honesty!
I wish we were friends, I hope this encourages others to share. I will make sure all my friends read this book.
I’m taking my husband to yoga with me now!!
Thank you!!

I read your book last night cover to cover. Pretty much devoured it. It was as if you were inside my mind. It was so beautiful and raw. I cried a lot. I needed to I suppose. Crying means pain or feeling. And I try to stuff that away. Thank you for sharing your truth and pain with me. Your leap of bravery makes me braver. ❤️

I wish I’d had your book many, many moons ago. I’ve been divorced twice to the same “type” man, perpetual cheater with cruel streak. During those years of abuse and two stupid relationships, I opted to be alone raising my son because he deserved peace. I spent many a year learning who I was, what I wanted and deserved, and that I was not going to ever marry again unless God wrote it in the sky. Twelve years later, He did. And he (little H) helped me finish healing (sometimes I felt “poor guy”). I just saw your latest interview with Oprah (FB) and came here to say how much I like your transparency and honesty! God will take you far and you are going to enjoy every step of the way!! He’ll sustain you.