Time doesn’t heal all wounds

How to find healing when the Pain has been with you a long time.

You may have stumbled across this blog by accident. Perhaps you subscribed and received an email from me that caught your attention.

Whatever your reason for being here I know one thing.

You are looking for answers.

You are reading this blog post because you are looking for healing.

So,

Here we are.

With a powerful question.

Does time heal all wounds?

I have heard it said that time heals all wounds.

But

I don’t agree with that sentiment.

Don’t get me wrong. For a good part of my life, I said this statement over and over. I was hoping that this self-imposed mantra would stick. That I would find healing to the pain I had been holding onto for most of my life.

On the one hand, you have to determine if you’re in a toxic relationship. The other hand, you have to learn how to start the healing process.

Then there is the belief that time heals your wounds.

I am going to tell you that it doesn’t.

Rose Kennedy once said, “It has been said that time heals all wounds. I don’t agree. The wounds remain. Time – the mind, protecting its sanity – covers them with some scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.”

One of the most toxic relationships in my life was my father.

There are so many stories circulating on what happened. Some say he was a drunk and smoked a lot of weed. Others say he was a liar. Then there is the possibility of abuse being there.

My memory is very spotty.

This I do know is that my father is a toxic person who left me with very deep wounds.

I started believing with time I would heal. It would only take a few years. Then I would heal.

Days became weeks. Weeks back months. Months became years. Years became decades.

34 years later I had not healed. I was worse off than before.

[bctt tweet=”All time does is remove the freshness of the wound. It does not remove the pain of it. #pain #healing” username=”jim_Burgoon”]

The only saving grace was an aunt who has a beautiful personality and has tried to bring healing.

Even though my father and I may never rectify our relationship. I still want to find healing.

Here is a thought or two if you are trying to determineif you healed or are still wrestling with the issue.

How to know if you are healed

1. You are easily triggered

34 years went by. I had not heard any word from my father. Then after all these years, I received an email. The email was nasty. It was full of anger, pain, and toxicity. I would even wager that he may have been drunk when he sent it.

34 years had gone by. When I read that email I am faced with 34 years of pain and bitterness. I had no idea where it was all coming from. It started flowing out of my as if a long dormant volcano was erupting.

You better believe I wanted to email him back with every single thing I was thinking. That would have felt good. I wanted blood.

Time didn’t heal that wound.

I went right back to a dark place. 34 years made me forget about how hurt I was. It didn’t heal anything.

Time doesn’t heal all wounds God does.

It is a process and will take some time, but in the end, you will be whole.

Learning to have joy in your life.

Isn’t that something you want?

I know I do.

Let me give you this final thought:

Some of you may not be faith-based. I use to be where you are. I share my faith in this way because I was once an emotional wreck. My emotions were so jacked up that I was the one who was toxic in my relationships.

Now?

My faith and the steps I share with you in each post has brought me to a place of healing. I am on this journey with you. I am here to support you.

My success comes when I know that you are experiencing success.

I would love for you to join the conversation! In the comments below let me know ways that have helped you heal.

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This speak so deeply into my own life and my relationships with both my parents, and the things that I went through as a child. I have a friend with a similar past as well, one who only recently found the strength to really commit to serious therapy – I’m going to share this with them.

Personally, I don’t think time heals at all. It distances us from the pain, but it doesn’t take care of the root problem. That is where we MUST focus on our emotional healing. Working through forgiveness can do wonders for the pain. Thank you for joining the conversation!

So happy with this different take on time heals all wounds because I’m not sure I believe that as well. It seems as though time just makes you forget the bad things but once you remember I don’t think it hurts less. Personally, when I’m reminded of the bad things I remember how it’s so silly to be upset and that God will help me through it.

You are so right, time makes you forget. The greater the distance between your wounds and your present time the more likely you won’t remember the pain. Then when you are reminded of the wound all the pain floods back in. It is a vicious cycle. I think it just easier to start the healing process instead of fighting the battle of time. Thank you for joining the conversation!

My baby sister dies just before my seventh birthday. I have long understood that that would become scars and will always be with you. You can choose how you will react to thee scar when it makes itself know. I choose to remember the joy she brought.

Thank you for joining the conversation. I deeply appreciate your transparency here. It isn’t easy when having to navigate through a loss. I love the perspective you have taken in this. Check out another article I did: https://www.jimburgoon.org/joy It is about learning to recapture your joy after loss hits. Know that I will send a prayer up for you and your journey! Blessings!

This week I am going to pivot. I want to focus the last part of this series on the possiblity of us being toxic. We spend so much time focusing on others that we forget we can be the problem. Then in February I am going into another series 😀 Thank you so much for your kind words!

As someone who has lived with deep trauma wounds; there is a healing in the forgiveness not of the person, but of yourself for being taught in the situation. Divine timing is always on time even if the ego says that it is not. xoxo

Even thought we feel the pain less that doesn’t mean we are infleunced by it less. The pain that isn’t healed is a pain that will subconsciously guide our decisions. So intead of feeling the pain we will experience it in other ways. Thank you for joining the conversation!

The reason that most wounds do not heal is because we don’t do the hard things to find healing. Often times, we sit on our pain and just hold onto it. That isn’t how we were meant to live! We were meant to thrive. May you find the path of healing! Thank you for joining the conversation.

Jim's mission in life is to help people taking their NEXT STEPS towards the life they truly desire. As a member of The John Maxwell Leadership Team, a military veteran, and a 15 year veteran of ministry Jim has the background and the ability to help you achieve your goals.