On a good day, parenting will test the integrity of your character. On a bad day, parenting will test your will to live. Parenting children with trauma histories will cause you to test the integrity of everything and everyone you thought you knew, for the rest of your life.~J. Skrobisz

Sunday, August 18, 2013

We got this

In July, when I called the school to ask where Sissy's CCETS [1] referral was, the assistant principal has asked how her summer had been. I answered cryptically because I am keen to read between the lines of questions that educators ask. "If you're asking if Sissy's matured any and changed her behaviors so she will be more successful than last year, the answer is, no."

Nine school days ticked off the 181 day calendar and they still haven't finished her referral. Nine school days and ten emails later, it is clear to everyone that she is truly not capable of this level of education. Nine days of school later and she hasn't had a suspension... yet. So if your bet was she would be in trouble before this, you're a loser and Sissy is the winner.

:D

Actually, a long time friend of mine who is also parenting adopted children with challenges, works in the CCETS program for K-3. She has suggested that should the school need to discipline Sissy for her shenanigans, that I deny they meter out said discipline on the grounds that I was honest and fair with the county, requesting the referral. At this point, it is the SCHOOL that is dropping the ball, not me.

Which is what I tell Sissy.

She is quite frustrated and vocal about her frustration. Her anxiety is sky high and she has already made herself physically ill because of it. She knows she is smart but she simply can not handle the stress of the mainstream classroom. Every time the phone rings she wants to know if it's the school and I tell her, "my dear, I've done MY job as your mom. The rest is up to the school. No single person makes this decision - it is a team effort."

Then I repeat and repeat and repeat. It would help if I had a parrot to repeat these statements for me because my tongue gets tired saying it over and over.

And as such, with her anxiety, Sissy's at-home behaviors are of the charts. *sigh*

This morning, AB, WG and I chilled while she slept late. It was really nice. Then she got up and within twenty minutes was awarded the privilege or being sent back to her room for her behavior. lol

In the meantime, we got AB's EEG results back - they were normal. HOORAY! I'm hoping his cardiology appointment next Monday goes equally spectacular. If not, then his pdoc and I go back to the drawing board with his meds. One day at a time. The med adjustments we made this summer have really brought him back to a positive baseline for his mood but potentially at the cost of stressing his heart. Healthy heart vs. healthy mood? Seems like there are never easy answers.

Still, all of this is petty compared to the Kilimanjaro's we've scaled that last four years. We can handle it. No biggie - we got this.

Be good. Don't hurt anyone.

[1] CCETS is the name of our county's emotional behavioral disability program

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About me

About Me

Mom to an adopted sibling group. The oldest, Sissy, suffers from severe mental health issues and autism spectral disorder compounded by reactive attachment disorder as a result of her first year with her biological mother, abused, neglected and deprived. AB or affectionately, Autism Boy, also suffers from mental health illness in addition to a genetic disorder called F-G syndrome. WG or Wonder Girl, battles anxiety and anger as a result of living with two older disabled siblings and all of the nuances of this unique family dynamic.

We live in a subdivision in a bustling community fifteen miles outside of a major metropolitan area in Georgia. As the caregiver, bread winner, and custodial parent, my challenge is to keep the peace in the puzzles my children tend to be.

Jennie 42

Sissy 17

AB 16

WG 12

Carbon the dog 3

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