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Friday, November 02, 2012

hate

i have tried
to turn over a new leaf; i am trying to cut down on the number of people or
groups i hate. i am trying to be a calmer nicer person. i am counting to ten
and being reasonable, being empathic, trying to see things from other people’s
point of view rather than just jumping to conclusions and just hating.

by cutting
down on my personal parade of hatred i will be making the world a slightly
better place for everyone. i know, i know – but there is no need to thank me.
you just need to follow my example.

however like
any major undertaking you have to start slowly.

so i am not
trying to expunge my hatred of the conservative party, or people who stand in
doorways and get sniffy when you ask them , politely, to move, or those people
who use umbrellas but have no regard for other users of the pavement. this also
holds for cyclists who not only ride on the pavement but seem to think that
pedestrians are the ones who are the hindrance.

also i am
not trying to soothe old personal hatreds of people i have known. call me petty
but some fires smoulder on.

for all of
that i have managed to find a new group of people to hate.

to hate with
a burning passion.

i give you
the supermarket bargain hunters.

as you
probably know after a certain time supermarkets reduce the price of some of
their food. tesco’s are the best for dropping their prices – they often slash
their prices, for some odd reason sainsbury’s just knock a bit off. every now
and then you can get a tasty bargain or two. it is always worth a look.

or it would
be if it wasn’t for the fucktards who hover around the area while the staff are
pricing the goods up and putting them on the shelves. they stand like an
impenetrable wall – saddam could have learnt lessons from them when he was
erecting his human shields, there are coaches of premiership football teams who
wish their ‘walls’ at free kicks were as disciplined.

they stand
there and they wait.

and wait.

they stare
at the shop assistant, giving the evil eye and geeing them on, lips moving
telling them to get a move on.the stare
at the pile of produce thinking about what they want from the pile, like wild
west gunslingers they are ready to draw their prized produce from the shelf
before it has left the assistants hand.

there is a
mix of fear and loathing in the eyes of the assistant – this is punishment
duty. the waiters can smell the fear and that just spurs them on. hands shaking
the new price tags are printed up and placed on the food and put on the
shelves.

some food is
snatched up right away. fair enough they have been staring at it long enough
while they wait for it to be priced up.

then comes
the second phase – where my real hatred begins to kick in.

the
assistant has gone back to the safety of giving wrong directions to where the
processed peas are being stocked this week.

now begins
the phase where the bargain hunters loiter and check everything, and then check
it again, and one more time to be sure. they remain an impenetrable wall.
sometimes there will a couple there and they will discuss if they really want that
ready meal that has had 75p knocked off its original price. or maybe they will
wonder about the calorie content of the cold meats they have picked up. do they
need that box of yogurt that is going for half price?

items are
picked up – contents are read – items are put back – picked up again, as if
they had never seen a sainsbury’s cheese sandwich before, or if the concept of
a cottage pie ready meal is really the latest thing in food technology.

surely to
all they hold dear it can’t be that hard to work out whether or not you want
the food on offer at the price they are offering it. it really can’t be
something that needs to be discussed that much or mulled over as if it were the
purchase of a new family car.

it’s food on
sale you arsewipes – do you want it or not?

shit or get
off the pot.

simple.

or should be
– for this breed of people it is not – they can’t make that choice; they have
to dwell, mull, meditate and ponder. just buy it already.

then there
is the person who will just buy it all because it is a bargain and then at the
checkout complain that have been charged 20p too much when they have just
bought £30 worth of food for £2.40.

so these
bargain prevaricators are my current hate group.

they are on
a par with all those people who always seem surprised that they need a ticket
to go through the barriers at tube stations or to get on buses and wait until
they are right there before they start to look through their bags to find their
tickets. yeah i hate you lot as well.

look i never
said turning over a new leaf was going to be easy – but i think you will agree
that at least i am keeping my hate groups to deserving groups.