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Lots of women send their boyfriends off to compete for the title of ULTIMATE LAD but oh no. They're not really competing for ULTIMATE LAD, their girlfriends all think they're dicks and want to change them.

One girl has been with her boyfriend for four months. If you were with someone for four months and thought they were a dick.....BREAK UP WITH THEM. Anyway, he boyfriend got caught fingering a girl in a toilet. Brilliant stuff.

They showed the guys going to a bar/club and one of them kept going "I'm officially single! I'm single now!" and then went off into the loo with a lady.

Yeah. I really like the way they've got rid of the rubbish ones and are keeping the biggest tools in. The angry guy was nuts but I loved it when all the other guys found out he'd "kicked the girls back door in" and they all made him apologise JUST IN CASE he scared their girl.

When that girl said he went to see his female friend at quarter to twelve in the morning, I thought "Nothing wrong with that. It's better to see your pals in the morning, then you'll have the whole day ahead to do stuff."

It was the only way I could prove my worth as the ULTIMATE LAD so that I could win this competition. Which, as it all transpires, isn't even a real competition at all, but an intervention to prevent me being a tool because I've been philandering with some other floozey, which I did to become the ULTIMATE LAD... Oh! What a horrible vortex of emotional pain I exist in! I'm torn! I'm on a downward spiral and there's no prevention for my ultimate doom!"

I can't wait till about halfway through the series when everyone suddenly realises that the girls are the ones who are as equally fucked up and in need of help, the girl who checked her lads phone gave us a brief glimpse of that, heh.

Woulda watched it through in a so-bad-it's-good way, but QT was on. Plenty of TEH LOLZ & SHABS & BANTS & OMGs & WTFs etc, but I've had my fill so I'm not sure if I can be arsed with it again. Can't imagine how they can turn it into a series worth keeping tabs on (or even a full 1hr+ prog for that matter). Felt a bit like a souped up/drawn out Beadle sketch (mega low budget) crossed with some MTV jobber (draaaaaawn out and multi-repeated clips spelling. out. the. 'plot').

Why the fuck is that guy going out with her. He actually seems like a nice guy who would treat his girlfriend well.

In fact...it really, really fucked me off that she spent the whole time saying the reason she entered him is because he's gay and cries too much and is a mummy's boy. And then when it came to the reveal she pulled out some story about him going round to see a female friend when she finishes work or something. WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING BITCH. So you're boyfriend is either a "gay pussy-boy" or "true playa for real". WHICH IS IT YOU DISGUSTING CUNT BAG?

The other thing that got me was the way they spoke about their boyfriends when they were doing that cat walk. She was all "gay prick" and it wasn't like she said it in a jokey way, you could tell she meant it and it was horrible.

"We've actually been playing you all. The girls were the tools of this shows title. While all these men have changed their former ways - gay one's manned up, stoner one's laid off the weed, angry one has stopped killing - the girls continue to be malicious harpies who have revealed themselves as such to the nation. Men, you are now free to dump these disgusting broads and, with the new positive changes to your lives, go forth and find new, less horrendous girlfriends."

I was at uni with him, he was in the Footlights. Very good friends with the Inbetweeners I seem to remember. And his name is Luke Roberts, not Robert Lucas - maybe he's scared the tools are going to hunt him down.

I think they're just making it up as they're going along. Surely the ones who stay in are "just tools", ergo having to continue their residence at the academy to stop being tools. Joe should've gone home in the first episode for being so completely un-tooly.

Did you not see that coming though? Imagine if they just whittled away all the tools to start with and leave all the nice guys. It would be extremely dull. Its complete trash TV....you have to take these things on the chin really.

Of course not. It was a joke. Its car crash TV. What other reason would you have for watching this show? Its not for educational purposes, its not because you're hoping the tools will change, its just a crap tv show thats so bad, its good.

like stoner tool. He seems nice but he's had too much weed and can't really talk at a normal rate. He seems sweet and wants to marry her and stuff. There are some others who aren't really tools, they're just a bit lazy but thats normal, isn't it?

That angry guy is angry. "You're lucky that table isn't over your head right now."
Also, what did that shaven-headed guy get angry about when he was trying to leave and was saying "I can't believe you said that on TV and embarrassed me" to his 'girlfriend'?

I felt a bit sick before at the thought of the poor girl finding out. But she is a complete plank and I don't care anymore. The more times they show her going "I know my man loves me etc" I just want her to SHUT UP. The editors of this programme need to win an oscar.

However you do seem to be hammering home the fact that they're horrible people as a reason for watching the show. I used to watch Big Brother back in the day, mostly cos of the hateful people. I'm bored of that 'reality' shit now though. It's a bit like that Liz Jones article on the lovely girl who is now a thumbnail and how a machine will only accept the correct change but not protect us from murders. Pure car crash trash that's only there to pull in the viewers and make us go - "God that person is awful!"

-Hus and Liam as identical testical-heads.
-The insane expulsion process - if a guy hit his girlfriend then he'd probably be kept in because of his attempts to build trust. a great boyfriend would be out in week one.
-The girlfriend who roundly assassinated the 'gay' one's confidence.
-The fact I have a friend who acts and looks identical to the lie detector guy
-Jake

I talk to a few generally quite a lot - Lyndsey (Massive Tool gf), Kirsty (Stoner Tool gf), Toni (Randy Tool ex-gf) and Jade (Lazy Tool gf) the others I talk to occasionally over twitter or when we have photo days etc...

"evictool" love it!! No because that was in the class room so the back row had to fit a set of those school chair things in it! Hahaha but someone did fall of the back when it was the reveal - can't remember who its was....maybe Toni?

Becky, I assume this show has already been filmed yonks ago, but you should definitely try and sneak the words 'drowned in sound' into an interview or something. For example, 'Everyone was shocked at the nightclub footage, but to be fair, the film was drowned in sound and it was impossible to make out what might have been said.'

We'll make sure meowington scans all your interviews. It'll probably make a lot of pale, twenty-something, anti-social music geeks very happy.

yesterday. They put a tweet "I am going to see if I can get temper tool to loose his temper with me" then about 2 hours later he put "erm well that backfired I am now friends with temper tool".....Dan and me found that pretty funny.

most of them are normal. A fair amount of them are genuinely fit. Becky M looks a bit like meowington and they should probably be friends. The guys are all fucking weird. That's all i've got for my review really.

I got an excited text from a mate, apparently he works with one of the tools and his toolette in the admin section of a poorly performaing finance company.
They were kicked off in the first week though, which makes them quite low in the tool heirarchy. Max and Kim, which I think is vain tool? Anyway, apparently his knowledge of power tools is rubbish.

In fact I don't think I really dislike any of the blokes left in now. I mean, some of them would probably be annoying to hang around with irl, but they've all grown on my a bit - especially as they all seem willing to send themselves up a bit etc.

Hus comes out with some absolutely pearls, Like when he was trying to console Liam a bit, but was just saying things like 'You're lucky you only got hit a couple of times....I'll be honest I felt for the girl....you fackin arshole ahaha'

just wasn't that good. More could have been made of the fingering etc, I wanted LOADS of tears and madness. She didn't seem that arsed in the end, and fair enough she split with him after - but that should have happened on it.

meh, my brief delve into tv like that is now more than likely over.......unless Becky convinces me to stick with it of course!?

I'm pretty sure I heard the teaser correctly.
'how can I make it good, up the bum?'. Not sure which toolette this was. I mean, I know this is channel 4, but that's a bit near the mark right?
I'm still going to watch it obvs.

Felt a bit sorry for Pete - when she kept asking him 'why are you talking like that? That's not my Pete etc' when he was acting like a gentleman I kept thinking 'but you put him up for this programme to help him change his ways, and he's making the effort?' strange.

Amazingly, a guy who wants to be a pro wrestler got beaten in a wresting match by a lesbian, prompting him to quit the show.
The people on the US show are a bit special. The majority actually admitted to camera that they cheated on their partners often. They have girl tools too, but the partners are a bit less mental than on the UK version.

Danny and Becky have blatantly won and she was just keeping it quiet. She tweeted that she forgot her password a little while ago but I bet she'll remember it when they win and she comes on bragging about how her boyfriend is really sexy and...yeah. He's pretty hot actually.