So I am writing this Blog to share what I am learning while going to college about the Family.
There are a million different types of families and we all have our joys, quirks, and fiascos, but I think there is enough commanalities that we can all learn from one another.
So I am on my quest to start fresh and find out "What is a family?", "Why we have them?", and "How we can be happy in them?" Because if you don't have family, what do you have?

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Intimacy in Marriage

Something really interesting that I learned and it makes a lot of sense is how men and women view intimacy differently. Men typically are physically intimate to feel more emotionally closer while woman are the opposite and need to feel emotionally secure in order to be fully physically intimate. This is awesome because this is makes it so as a couple you need to take care of your companion's needs before your own can be fulfilled. This can also cause problems because if a woman doesn't feel emotionally fulfilled (she might feel her husband holding back is selfish) then she might hold back physically and hence he won't give more emotionally. This is a common vicious cycle in a marriage.
There is more to it then sex with intimacy. How many peoples' marriages have emotional affairs? We need to be really careful of our relationships we have outside of our marriage. We need to have our independence, but many don't recognize the potential trouble of creating strong relationships with others outside of the marriage relationship. Innocent conversations sharing about your day, dreams, and feelings creates bonding. Also, spending a lot of time together creates that connection. What happens when you have had multiple experiences of this emotional intimacy? You start to think, "I must be in love." When in reality that bond just happened because of the experience, you aren't meant to be true loves. You have just had your thoughts and emotions validated and now are physically entertaining the idea. We need to be careful even with sharing a lot of our everyday experiences with others more than our spouse. If you tell everyone else about your life you'll be less likely to share with our spouse and miss out on that bonding. Is having a million relationships with many people worth losing out on the relationship with your spouse? I think you do need to have a full well-rounded life but I also think the priority for relationships should be with 1. God 2. Spouse 3. children