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Thursday, 25 February 2010

Don't now what it is, probably a combination of alot of things. The children have reluctantly returned to school after half term, each with an ailment of some kind. So there has not been as much stuff to do, other than consoling them, and then mediating between the lot of them as they are so cranky at the moment.

The garden is looking awful with the combination of meltwater, chickens and mud. The grass is pretty non-existant now, and whilst I love the chickens dearly, I wish they weren't so destructive. Some fencing may well be in order once I don't slide down the garden in mud! We also still have our resident rat, who is showing no interest whatsoever in the humane rat trap!

The allotment has been out-of-bounds due to the ground either being frozen, or bog like.

Sophie is completely off her food again, how I wish I had a child that enjoyed food. She will not even attempt to eat anything, spits it out and wants a breastfeed. You would have thought out of four children, I would get one that enjoyed food, perhaps it's my cooking! I see pictures of toddlers with food all around their mouths, obviously enjoying themselves, and then there is my lot, who either eat ridiculously fast, so they can get on with what they were doing; push food around their plate and take hours; or just climb down from the table without attempting to eat anything!

And to top it all off. It is Fairtrade Fortnight at the moment, and I can't be bothered to organise anything, how crap am I!

The only thing I am proud of is I cleaned the fish out! So now they can see out, and we can see in. They look alot happier!

Friday, 19 February 2010

Wow what a week! I have discovered alot about myself this last week, and who would have thought a change in hair style could do all that.

From the initial excitement of getting them done, to the fear of the boys reactions on their return home from school. To the horror of "What have I done" followed by the slow acceptance of this new me. It really has been quite a rollercoaster!

I loved wearing my new hairstyle out and about, the statement it made, and perhaps the assumptions people made about me. I had lots of lovely comments from people who know me, saying that actually they were very "me!" But, in those quiet times, the times where I am alone with myself, I knew it wasn't me.

It would seem my confidence is very variable, and at my times of feeling vulnerable, my hair hides me, but that is not possible with dreads. It would also seem that I hold peoples opinions quite highly, and if I am doing something that is upsetting them, then that is a situation I cannot tolerate.

I would love to be able to make a statement with my hair, but I'm afraid that my comfort zone will not allow that. I would love to be able to make a stand for the alternative, and the creative, but I will have to find other avenues for this.

I am pleased I took this path, I have discovered more about me, and a new found respect for my hair, which has been severely neglected in the last few years. Thank you for all the lovely comments on my hair, but normal service has been resumed!

Just thought I would share some of my creations with my sewing machine. Still very much a novice, but I like messing about with it, and seeing what happens!

This was my first attempt at dress-making, around this time last year. A little pinafore dress for Sophie. I drew around a dress she already had, and then did my own thing with it. The main fabric is some curtains I got for a fiver from a charity shop. They have made a PE bag, a book bag, a peg bag, and this dress. With more fabric left for perhaps some trousers! The lining material I bought especially, and the mother of pearl buttons were from my late Nan's button collection. The great thing with pinafore dresses is that they can become tunics as she grows.

I made some aprons for Christmas presents, but only photo'd one. Poor Alec thought I had cut up his curtains, but really it was just some leftover fabric, along with some curtain lining as the backing. So only had to buy the webbing for the straps.

This is going to be my next project. Some gorgeous material my Mum bought me for Christmas, will be turned into a long flowing skirt for me. Hopefully in time for a wedding in the summer. However, this will be my first attempt at following a pattern, I'm not very good at following instructions, so we'll see what happens! I'm hoping there may be some material left for bits and bobs, as it really is stunning.

Saturday, 13 February 2010

For the last year or so I have fancied dreads. And after putting it off during the summer (read "chickening out") I finally took the plunge. 2 friends and my Mum did the dreads for me, and they do look quite cool. But, and here's the big but, I'm not sure it is me. I have had the same hairstyle for the last 20 years, and have had a major wibble about what I have done. Last night I was going to get up at about 3am and try combing them out, but tiredness got the better of me. In my less wibbly moments I like them, but then I wonder, what have I done to my lovely curly hair? Even though it used to drive me up the wall with its frizziness, and knots! Oh the knots!

I wonder whether I should have just accepted myself for me, and not try to give the impression I am someone else. Anyway, here's how I look at the moment. Whether it will stay or not only time will tell.

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

This last week four of us have been fighting off a stinker of a head cold. You would think there would be much whinging and whining, and granted there has been a fair share of that, but it has also given us all space to just "be", and to find blessings in the quiet.

Organising the larder, so things can be seen, and making meal plans, which is wonderfully liberating.

Finishing books that have sat for too long, untouched. And finding inspiration in their pages.

Finding beautiful words written by Luke, now displayed for all to see, rather than languishing in a pile of paper.