The journey is longer than I had expected, but hopefully I'll reach the destination.

Menu

TTC from the beginning

For those who aren’t obsessed with baby forums, TTC means Trying to Conceive. My husband and I decided to start trying in September 2011, although it basically got pushed back to October. I went off my birth control pill in September. I had been on the same pill since I was 16 (12 years). I was warned that it might take my body a few months to rebound, but I also read about how there really shouldn’t be any lag. My first period was later than I was used to when it was like clockwork while on the pill. At first I got a little hopeful, but then I thought to myself that it would almost be a shame because then J (husband) and I couldn’t enjoy a bit of trying.

In October I used an ovulation calculator to estimate our best chance and we made sure to make the most of that time. I refrained from drinking at a friend’s stagette because I could be pregnant. I think deep down I assumed I would be, especially because my friends and my own mother got pregnant right away. But I wasn’t and it was hard when I saw the negative home pregnancy test. The next month was a very stressful month and baby making did not take priority. December was a shot in the dark and unlikely, but I still made sure not to drink, including at my friend’s wedding. All worth it, just in case. Again, I hoped, but no. We had a trip to an all-inclusive resort planned for February and I didn’t want to drink if there was a chance I’d be pregnant, but I also didn’t want to return from the trip to find out that I wasn’t pregnant and didn’t enjoy the full experience of the trip. So we decided not to try in January. Once my ovulation window came around in February I was sure that now that we were really serious about trying and not going to take any more breaks that it had to happen! I even used an Ovulation Prediction Kit (OPK). I have used many more in the months that have passed.

One month I was convinced that I must be pregnant because I was dizzy, had headaches, felt somewhat nauseous, and my nipples were sensitive. Now I believe that it was just the progesterone that stays high until your period because I get these symptoms, to some degree, every month, but every month it’s a negative pregnancy test. Each time I see that I’ve started a new cycle or get a negative test result, my heart sinks. It started off as devastating and I cried (even sobbed) a lot. Now, I hope less so that my disappointment will be less. Regardless, it remains hard.

A few months ago, I started measuring my basal body temperature (BBT). I noticed a trend – I ovulate on cycle day 20 and then only have a 8-10 day luteal phase (the time between ovulation and your period). A normal luteal phase is 12-16 days and mine is too short to support implantation even if an egg is fertilized. So I thought there must be an issue with my progesterone; however, coupled with the late in cycle ovulation, it seems like maybe I have a problem with the follicular phase (time leading up to ovulation). I went to my doctor and thankfully she sent me for blood tests instead of waiting until after we’ve tried for a year.

I am happy to be moving forward! I tend to take a proactive approach to life’s biggest problems so I need to be making progress toward my goals to feel better. My test results should have reached my doctor by the end of the week, but due to a problem with the telecommunications company that transfers the results, they didn’t arrive. I plan on calling tomorrow (Monday) to see if they have them yet. I am anxious to hear the results and find out what the next steps are. Hopefully I’ll be prepared for whatever it is and we’ll find a way to be parents!