An Attitude of Gratitude

Written By: Erin Schwiebert

Do you ever feel like you aren’t enough? Enough what?!? Good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, successful enough, happy enough, rich enough? For me, all of those things are my daily struggle. It sounds exhausting to live a life of such insecurity and doubt… but welcome to my world. We are our own worst enemies, aren’t we? People will often say to me, “Erin you are successful in your career, have a beautiful family, and project an image of beauty and grace…what could you possibly be insecure about?!” Let’s get real ladies (and maybe some gentlemen reading this)… lacking self-confidence and creating the worst case scenario in things is a daily struggle for many of us, including me. But I have found the secret recipe to overcome this. Hang with me you guys…and I’ll tell you.

For those of you that know me, you will know the response that you will get verbatim if you ask me “How are you today, Erin?” My response… (Say it with me friends) “Best Day Ever!” Most people laugh when I say that, most people don’t believe me, and most think I am being a smart-ass. But it’s true. Honestly folks….every day that God gives me above ground is a good day. But there was a time in my life where I didn’t believe that. There was a time in my life where I felt like everything was stacked against me. There was a time in my life where I felt like the weight of the world was sitting entirely on my shoulders and nothing was ever good enough. I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, successful enough, etc. The list was endless. Relentlessly endless.

About 7 years ago our youngest son had some serious health issues. Issues that no parent ever wants to deal with, and issues that I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams. Issues that pushed me to the brink of my sanity, issues that almost broke my marriage, and issues that no one could diagnose. (If you get a minute… look up Osteogenesis Imperfecta). I won’t bore you with the details, but I will tell you that every medical professional, every test, and every hospital came up with nothing to tell us about our son. The response that we did receive went something like this…. “Mr. and Mrs. Schwiebert we can’t find anything medically wrong with your son, but we do think that he is being harmed by you or someone close to you so the Police will be showing up at your house shortly”. (Imagine hearing those words as a parent). Fast forward 7 years and we have a healthy, happy, sassy, exceptionally ornery 9 year old son that plays football, basketball, baseball and can do a back handspring better than any other kid his age.

Those were the hardest days of my life. People think they have it “rough” because their kid gets a hangnail…they have no idea the real pain a parent can feel when something is truly wrong with their child. In those days and years with our son, I focused on every worse-case scenario. I dwelled on not being enough. I focused on not being a good enough parent because we couldn’t find a medical diagnosis. Not being good enough at my job because I was preoccupied with his health. Not being a good enough wife because I could barely muster up enough energy to be a mom and a career woman, let alone a spouse. Not being a good enough friend, daughter or sister. That list was relentlessly endless too. But one day it hit me. One day I woke up and realized that things could always be worse. There were a million other things that could be wrong that weren’t. I had two children; some people can’t have any. I had a career; some people don’t even have a job. I had a house to live in, dedicated friends, a supportive family, and a God to believe in. Some people don’t have any of those things. I woke up one day and realized that I had so much more than most people and it was enough! I WAS ENOUGH!

From that point forward I decided that I was going to count my blessings instead of my problems. Literally count them, one-by-one. Every single day, for an entire year, I wrote down something that I was grateful for or something that was a blessing in my life. Some days it was profound thoughts like “God has given me a healthy and happy family”, and some days, it was “They had tacos in the cafeteria at work!!” (I really love tacos you guys). It didn’t matter what it was… but every single day something went into a journal that pushed me to remember all of the things I have to be grateful for. Over time, it started to change the way I looked at the world around me. I focused on gratitude instead of grouchy, I counted my blessings instead of my problems, I noticed the sun instead of the clouds, the flowers instead of the rain, the happy instead of the sad, and the good instead of the bad. I taught myself to have an “attitude of gratitude”.

That gratitude journal saved my life. Counting my blessings saved my life. That sounds extreme and superlative… but I swear to you with 100% certainty that creating that journal was, and continues to be, the most life-changing experience that I have ever had in my 37 years on this earth. If you look around my office or my house, I have little “signs” everywhere that remind me of this saying. I even have a tattoo on my foot that reads “Count Your Blessings” and it continues to remind me every single day about gratitude and gratefulness. To that, I challenge each of you to start a gratitude journal. Try it for a week, try it for a month. Heck... go big or go home and try it for an entire year! I promise you that it will impact you in ways that you can’t even imagine. If you don’t count your blessings, who will?

How I Met The Author

Erin Schwiebert and I met when I started working in a BIG company in the little town of Findlay, Ohio. She is the true definition of a "ride or die" friend. Erin is that friend that I look to when I want to do something adventurous, scary, or even down right crazy. I can always trust that she won't just say "let's do it" but she will already have her bags packed and she'll be ready to ride. Even though we would have our girl time and complain about the things that drive us crazy about work, family and just life... Erin NEVER lets me stay there too long. Even on days that I didn't want to listen, she always reminded that no matter how bad things got there was always something to be grateful for. I honestly believe that God put Erin in my life to prepare me some very tough times ahead. Since leaving Ohio, I have gone through so many tough days that I probably wouldn't have survived without thinking of my good friend Erin. On some of my worst days, I would log into Facebook and see her smiling face and it would be a reminder to find a blessing (whatever it was) and count it for that day. I Love her more than she loves Tacos... "our friendship is one blessing that I can ALWAYS count on".