Wanna help me?

There must be something positive you can write about! As Mathman pointed out figure skating would be a great place to start. Actually, figure skating was the one place that I could go and "escape" my "demon within." I always felt happiest while skating - it was freedom.

Have you tried thinking about some of the happy times in your life? Surely there must be some. I remember when I was depressed, it was really hard to think of anything good or happy times. I hope you are in therapy. I got over mine ok as it was after "female" operations. There is a lot more they can do now. Back then, there wasn't nearly as much they could do.

I remember a time
When everything seemed meek
A blocked path to the future
A future which seemed bleak
I told you I'd be there for you
Drop everything in a sec
Without hesitation
Without a second glance back
You never asked me
What you meant to me
I always thought you knew
That you were the star within my dreams
And if all else failed
And there was no other way
You'd be in my heart
And in my heart you'd stay
It's been years since I met you
So far off in the past
I never thought I'd see this day
This day you call your last
I'll hold your hand and sit here
Sit and watch you wither
Helpless as you quiver
Overridden with shivers
What you mean to me
Is more than I can say
If I had the choice
I would take your pain away
I would hold your hand forever
Never letting go
One day in heaven
You will think back to this and know
I always thought you knew
That you were the star within my dreams
And if all else fails
And there was no other way
You'll be in my heart
And in my heart you'll stay...