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One Thing….

What is your one thing? One thing that keeps bothering you, one thing that you do not think about much, but you know deep down it is there. A sound, a face, a word, a smell triggers the feelings that were so difficult to deal with so you decided to bury them deep down. What is one thing in your life that you feel “stuck”. What is one thing in your life that feels like a hole in your heart. What is one thing in your life that is so tender and vulnerable that it hurts too much. What is one thing in your life, whenever it is triggered you feel as if you are 5, 8, 10, 20 years old? Sometimes you feel like a 50 year old 5 year old. No matter what you do or don’t do, you cannot move? What is one thing that you just cannot …cannot let be, let go, move on, leave behind, forgive? For some reason it does not seem possible.

How does it affect you? This one thing that you just cannot seem to get yourself unstuck….how does it keep you in your place? How does it define you? What does it mean to you to have this one thing? What have you learned about yourself to have this one thing? How have you sustained yourself, became who you are because of your thing?

What is your one thing? If it was someone’s thing, lets say your friend’s, partner’s , a family member’s you would know what to do and how to help, how to get unstuck, but when it is your thing, you are just powerless. You know in your mind, -cognitively as us counselors say-, that you should just let go, and think you can….but emotionally it seems impossible, you do not even look at your thing. The mere idea of thinking about it, feels scary. Like opening the Pandora box. You do not know what will happen, or how you will deal with the pouring emotions or even if you can…

What is your thing? That you do not want to think or feel but it is always there. What is it about? Is it about forgiving someone for not being perfect? Is it about forgiving yourself for not being perfect? Is it a combination of little things or is it one big thing that keeps you stuck?

How would you describe it? Is it a soft, warm, fuzzy thing or is it hard, cold, scratchy? Can you draw it? Let’s draw it and see what will happen? If the emotions are coming together, if it finally makes sense when you draw it.

my one thing

If you could change something in your drawing, what would it be? How would you change it? How would you make yourself unstuck?

Here is another perspective to your one thing.

Can you think of a name to call this thing? What is it like? Imagine you are holding your thing in your hands, or it is sitting in front of you. What would you tell to this one thing? How does this thing robbed of you what you wanted? What you needed? How does your one thing trick you “getting the best of you”? what has the thing promised you? In other words,

how does your thing get in the way?…. How does it help you to get what you want and need?

Is it surprising to hear that the thing helps you in some way? Yes, there is a reason it is still your thing, there is a reason you are still holding onto it, it has a purpose. What is the purpose of your one thing?

When I say “one thing”, to some of you it does not make sense. You stare with a blank face. This seems like a bunch of meaningless words, a poetry that you have no idea “what the poet is trying to say here”. But for those of you…you know what I am talking about. You just know….

For my one thing in my life, yes it is there, I know it, I feel it, now I can name it…I am working on it.

I wish strength, perspective, creativity, open mindedness, perseverance, bravery, and hope for those of you in your journeys with your one thing…