Thursday, July 31, 2008

"A bastard will always be a bastard, and a whore will always be a whore".

Everyone wants to be happy in life. However, everyone has a different idea of what happiness means to them. Similarly, when deciding whom to marry, people do it for different reasons. Men and women have different basic criteria for selecting a mate to marry.

Guys generally look for girls who are attractive, and girls will prefer for guys who are materially well off. This of course may not the main consideration, but I've never met a guy who complained that his wife is "too attractive", or a girl who complained that her husband is "too rich".

A close second criterion will be intelligence. I've not met either guy or girl who complained that their other half is "too intelligent".

So, whilst, beauty, wealth and intelligence may not be the main criteria in selecting a mate, they are definitely not disadvantages.

Other criteria would be social status, parental approval, academic qualifications, race and religion. Some people select their mate on these criteria alone.

In terms of character of a person, the most I've heard is that "good personality" is important. But as "good personality" is subjective, thus "good personality" usually means "similar wavelength", in other words it could mean fcuking anything under the sun !

And everyone will hasten to add that, "he / she loves me very much etc etc..thats why I agree to marry him/ her bla bla bla..."

However, very little is considered about the true character of a person i.e what kind of person he / she really is ?

I've never however heard anyone discuss the true character of their potential life partner. It appears that once the criteria above is agreed or negotiated upon, the true character of a person is of little significance.

When a guy talks about his future wife, he will be happy to receive complements that she is attractive, have good academic qualifications, social status etc...and maybe "good personality" - whatever that means.

I know a guy who is married a girl who is only interested in his money and status. Everyone know this, and they pity him, because if he loses his money and status...he will lose his wife too - she will leave him.

Similarly, when a girl speaks about her husband to be, she will be pleased to point out that he is "rich" or having a high paying job, good academic qualifications or coming from a rich family etc...and also, sometimes add, that he has a "good personality" - again, this can mean anything.

A friend of mine is a single mom. She married a guy who looked "cool" and had a good job etc. but he was a womaniser. He continued being a womaniser after marrying her and he left her for "other women". Now she has to bring up 2 kids all by herself.

We all know that character of a person is difficult to change. Some people, however, would insist that a person's true character cannotchange. A liar will always be a liar. A whore will always be a whore. A scoundrel will always be one. A bitch will always remain one.

After the wedding dust settles, you'll have to deal with the real person for the rest of your life, or file for divorce. Save yourself the trouble and decide wisely.

Its true, when people say you can't have everything. Thats why you'll have to choose the important qualities.

The true character of a person should be the main criterion and non negotiable part of the consideration when selecting someone to marry.

We know that some girls are not wife material. They may make a good mistress but not a wife. So guys, don't kid yourself; you cannot change someone to became wife material. Select wisely. Marry someone who will be a good wife and mother to your kids. If she is not wife material, just keep her as a mistress or girlfriend - DO NOT marry her; no matter how attractive she is, no matter how much she impresses your friends, no matter how much your parents like her.

Similarly, some guys are just not husband material. They make good "sugar daddys" or "Fcuk Buddies" but not husbands. No matter how rich they are, no matter how rich their parents are, no matter how high his status, no matter how "cool" he looks - you must not marry him.

One girl tells why she chose her husband despite him not being good looking or wealthy, she says, "because he has the character to face and handle life's challenges, I know I won't be hungry should I marry him".

Read a related post from the Colour Of Life (http://coolku.blogspot.com - what kind of man should female marry)

P/S: When considering a wife or husband, I think of Dr. Mahathir & Siti Hasmah, Anwar Ibrahim & Dr. Wan Azizah, Bill Clinton and Hilary Clinton, Lee Kuan Yew & Kwa Geok Choo, Tan Koon Suan and Penny Chang. They are willing to stand by their mates during good times and bad.