Who said having kids was easy?!

The Incredible Years – Week Three

I was quite looking forward to this session as it dealt with social coaching. We focused on manners, turn taking and sharing, something that I’m always keen to teach Little Man.

There are a lot of things I took for granted before I started this course. For one, I just naturally assumed that children learnt these things passively. Sure, I knew they looked at others around them and fed off their behaviour, but essential I thought that this was a journey they made on their own. What this week showed me is how important it is to support this learning, through more than just being a good role model. An example of this is when a child is playing with a friend, if their friend gives the a toy then almost giving a monologue ‘Oh look, X gave you the ball, that was very nice of him, thank you X’. By giving these examples we are showing our children how to act in certain situations.

We looked at the different types of play our children will go through, these are as follows:

Solitary Play: Child plays on their own and is oblivious to others

Parallel Play: Child will play, but not engage, next to another (from 15 months to around 3 years)

Initiating Play: Child may follow another child and start to play with them (2 years ish onwards)

Co-operative Play: Children we play together to achieve a common aim, like a game of football or building a tower (4 years ish onwards)

I found knowing these stages very reassuring. I was a bit worried that Little Man wasn’t playing with others, so was fab to know that it is perfect normal and, essential, not to rush him.

HOMEWORK

Our homework was to focus on manners, turn taking etc. It went pretty well!! I find that Little Man grunts a lot so I focused on encouraging him to say ‘yes’ and ‘thankyou’, by saying the words after he said the noise. It worked pretty well, he’s still grunting but repeating me more. Focusing on turn taking was also interesting. I find that he is very reluctant to share with me, often throwing said item in panic or frustration. I learnt that patience on my behalf could go a long way. When I thought about it logically, how on earth would I feel if someone asked if they could borrow something, as they were reaching across to get it? Peed off, that’s what!! By giving Little Man prior warning before I do things such as wash his face and tidy his toys, I have noticed a massive reduction is tantrums. This is definitely something I am keen to work and extend on!