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Please refer the the DvSa matters of testing site under horror stories

Kiltox likes this

One of the funniest things ive read on here - RIP Dave

Quote

Brilliant... late in for lunch I fired up an off-brand pot noodle and while carrying it to the lounge successfully spilled it all over myself, burned the piss out of my hand, soaked my phone with the juice, soaked a load of expense receipts I was also carrying and it hit the hall floor and just fucking exploded....it was literally dripping from the ceiling in my newly decorated hallway. The obvious and considered reaction was to throw an immediate, massive paddy and boot the fucker down the hall while screaming, which has made the whole scenario about 18 times worse.

But personally I had a Honda customer whose crv failed on a dog chewed seat belt . He turned up for a re test with the damaged bit cut out and the rest hand stitched back around the anchor. Conveniently tucked under the seat . Did wonder why it wouldn’t fasten around me . ( quiet at the back )

Got quite shitty when I failed it and told him that was his free retest and the next time it’s a full test again . Petty I know but who the fuck does that to a seat belt

Brilliant... late in for lunch I fired up an off-brand pot noodle and while carrying it to the lounge successfully spilled it all over myself, burned the piss out of my hand, soaked my phone with the juice, soaked a load of expense receipts I was also carrying and it hit the hall floor and just fucking exploded....it was literally dripping from the ceiling in my newly decorated hallway. The obvious and considered reaction was to throw an immediate, massive paddy and boot the fucker down the hall while screaming, which has made the whole scenario about 18 times worse.

But personally I had a Honda customer whose crv failed on a dog chewed seat belt . He turned up for a re test with the damaged bit cut out and the rest hand stitched back around the anchor. Conveniently tucked under the seat . Did wonder why it wouldn’t fasten around me . ( quiet at the back )

Got quite shitty when I failed it and told him that was his free retest and the next time it’s a full test again . Petty I know but who the fuck does that to a seat belt

And anyway you can’t seriously be defending that !
What if they sold the car or just forgot the bodge and have a mate a lift .

overrun and timolloyd like this

One of the funniest things ive read on here - RIP Dave

Quote

Brilliant... late in for lunch I fired up an off-brand pot noodle and while carrying it to the lounge successfully spilled it all over myself, burned the piss out of my hand, soaked my phone with the juice, soaked a load of expense receipts I was also carrying and it hit the hall floor and just fucking exploded....it was literally dripping from the ceiling in my newly decorated hallway. The obvious and considered reaction was to throw an immediate, massive paddy and boot the fucker down the hall while screaming, which has made the whole scenario about 18 times worse.

Brilliant... late in for lunch I fired up an off-brand pot noodle and while carrying it to the lounge successfully spilled it all over myself, burned the piss out of my hand, soaked my phone with the juice, soaked a load of expense receipts I was also carrying and it hit the hall floor and just fucking exploded....it was literally dripping from the ceiling in my newly decorated hallway. The obvious and considered reaction was to throw an immediate, massive paddy and boot the fucker down the hall while screaming, which has made the whole scenario about 18 times worse.

And anyway you can’t seriously be defending that !
What if they sold the car or just forgot the bodge and have a mate a lift .

to be fair i don't think ive ever had anyone in the back of any of my cars, the real issue for me is that stitching up a seat belt probably took more effort than just going to a scrappers and getting a replacement part.

I had a look at the mot horrors - it makes you realise how shit some modern cars are in terms of quality - 10 year old cars failing with rotten subframes and suspension components. I noticed the subframe on our vectra was starting to suffer and if left unattended would have gone eventually.
The wooden brake pads made me smile - probably better than some cheapo ones.

I had no control over the heater in my senator (big grille model). In 1988 it was quite advanced as it had electronic controls - mine were fucked and I had continuous hot air great in summer when it's 25 degrees and the occupants are sweating like a traveller in a spelling test.
Job jobbed. It's not a bodge if it works.
Fixed with above for a couple of quid. Turn on in winter, off in summer.

The pinch bolt holding the dizzy in my Mk2 Escort snapped while driving, I know it snapped as half of it was still there when I stopped. Half a roll on insulation tape later the dizzy stayed in place enough to run for two days until I fixed it.

Nibblet likes this

Opinions expressed are those of this cunt, not any other cunt. They do not represent the views of those responsible for this forum.
Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was my intention.

My brother had an Avenger where the tops of the wings turned out to be made from asphalt.

Also, seeing the comments about seatbelts above: my (5 door) Range Rover had rot near the rear seatbelt mounts so I chucked both the seatbelts and the rear seat out rather than weld it up. It was much more useful for carting stuff about once I'd done that.

ETA: thought of another. A motor trader friend 'repaired' a viscous fan belonging to an ill-mannered customer by encasing the whole thing in a huge blob of body filler and giving the whole thing a coat of satin black spraypaint. It sounded like a low flying bomber afterwards, which pleased us greatly.

...and another! We repaired a bashed in rear door by applying a dustbin-lid sized amount of filler. It actually looked quite convincing, but whilst we were all sitting in the office congratulating ourselves on a job well done we heard an ominous clonk from the workshop. Our repair had fallen out in a single lump leaving the door looking just as it had when we started.

I bought an Anglia years ago and the guy had it parked right up against the side of his garage on the left. Didn't think much of it at the time until I noticed the swage lines were a bit squiffy - it had over an inch of filler in the rear quarter where it had been hit, and the panel was actually torn/split from the impact. Just loaded up with plop and painted. I dug it all out, beat the panel back into about the right shape and welded the splits up before skimming and painting. During the sanding for paint I discovered the rear of the car from the bottom of the C pillars back was a different car...

The Sierra I bought as a donor for a kit car had plastic milk bottles covered in underseal in several structural areas. I could even date the bodges as one still had the label with a best before date on the other side.

Opinions expressed are those of this cunt, not any other cunt. They do not represent the views of those responsible for this forum.
Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was my intention.

my first stag had front outriggers made entirely from filler. nope not me.

My brother austin 1100 took a tap up the arse on Kingston bridge and a 2 kilo lump of filler fell out of the back wing. again not me

worst bodge I ever did for an MOT, I had a Triumph 1500TC, it was a shed but it was also free. lobbed it in for an MOT and it failed on a missing dust cap on the front nearside hub. tester pointed out - good luck finding one and had I fitted the hubcap then he wouldnt have noticed. somewhat pissed off at the tester taking the piss I retired to atkinsons in collyers wood, loads of dollies and toledos but none had the right dust cap. down to uniprat where the humourless Albert on the parts counter told me NLA,

I thought about swapping the front drivers hub cap over but figured the tester would smell a rat, so I swapped the dustcaps over and refitted the hub cap on the drivers side. pass was issued

What was that thread on Retro Rides where some maniac was welding up an old motor (Fiat???) and he was going hell for leather wanging bizzarely shaped plates all over the place, then doing welding that a blind man riding past on a galloping horse would wince at.

I've tried searching but had no luck.

It really was terrifyingly bad and the guy was really getting stuck in, replaced about half of the chassis legs with washing machine sides just tacked on one of the corners and then leathered with a hammer til it touched most of the way round then snotted on, you could have pulled most of it off with your bare hands no problem. It was like that video where they gave spiders LSD and watched the shape of webs they made.