Friday, October 08, 2004

A little push is all you need.

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, Yeah
-------------------------
I haven't really been slacking off with the studying, but I haven't been doing it full force as I should be (especially with my Social Work class)...but after today, i'm going full steam ahead. I need to get out of this place, this office to be exact. I hate it here, it depresses me, and it ruins my happy friday mood. I know i've been thinking of applying to a school at home, and two out east...but when push comes to shove, I think i'm going to end up out east. It's too appealing, it's been calling my name since the first time I visited. It's different, and it's not in Cali.
It's not that I don't like home, it's just that I need a change (or I will lose my mind). I know some people don't understand why I feel this need (that's okay--it's my life remember), but I need something different, something that gives me a purpose, makes me happy. I hate being mad all the time. I'm not going towards something (well, I am), it's not what everyone thinks. I need a different lifestyle, I need a change. This is all for me, and I know some of my people won't understand (and maybe even resent me for it), but at this point...I don't care.
If things start poppin' before I leave, well, i'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
But this place, LA, my job. It sickens me. Depressed mofo's who have no life, gotta be mean to their support staff. It's not right. I moved out here to be on my own, and I've done just that. Figured out a few things. Now i'm ready to move on. Yeah, i'll be poor for a couple of years after I get into a program...but that won't be a big deal (I think). I just need to get out of here, before they take over my mind and bring me over to their world. Sometimes I wish it was back in the day, and I can just pick up and leave...