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If you have managed to brave the crowds and cleared away shelves at Carrollton’s new cheap-ass heaven, Daiso Japan, you should be commended for your efforts. Since those lines that wrapped around the building on the scorcher that was opening day, Daiso has stayed busy. Even a few days later, some shelves were still empty. The selection of some of the cult fave's cult faves might have been low, but there were still plenty of oddities at Daiso Japan for adventurous shoppers just a few days after its grand opening.

You probably never realized that you needed a dusting mitt shaped like a hedgehog, or a kitchen tool that is specifically for the “crushing” of onions, but you do. Forget all that bullshit about “minimal lifestyles” and “saving the environment,” and head to Daiso for these five (largely plasticine) oddities that you absolutely need in your life. Even if they don’t work out and end up in the garbage, you only spent $1.50 on it, right?

Dried fish is totally delicious, assuming that we’re talking about the tiny bit of bonito flavor in my miso soup. These packages of dried fishes and squid and god knows what else are probably only useful if you have an intricate understanding of Japanese cuisine, but maybe you also need to get revenge on someone you hate. In this heat, a package of whatever the hell sweet filefish is under the seat is lethal.

These absolutely not-creepy-at-all masks are perfect for scaring small children and avoiding conversations with strangers in public. The convenient eye-holes are perfect for walking around and not looking like a total lunatic. Or, perhaps even better, you could put them on your children to put the correct amount of the fear of God into your nosy neighbors.

Your eyelids are (probably) really ugly, and this tape could probably help them. The box literally promises to “make your eyes attractive,” which is more than we can say for all that expensive eyeshadow you’ve been buying. If your eyes are still ugly after applying the tape, then it’s (probably) you, and not your eyelids. Maybe some of Daiso’s impressive selection of falsies will be able to help you.

Normally, bells are made out of metal, but like everything at Daiso, these are tinkly plastic and will add the perfect amount of tackiness wackiness to your patio or lawn for less than two dollars. How could any rational human being turn that down? This wind bell has the added bonus of being able to trap in every weird bug that flies around your yard, so ready those science projects post-haste. Someone’s finally going to get their first A.

So cute, maybe dusting won't make you want to punch yourself in the face.

Amy McCarthy

Cleaning accessories designed to look like woodland creatures

If anything could use a little more twee, it is the drudgery that is dusting, mopping, or any other household chore. These adorable microfiber mitts are a way for you to pretend like you’re still a child when you’re swiping away the actual pounds of dust that are currently settled atop every surface in your house. It’s going to be hard to choose between the bunny and the cat, so just go ahead and get both. Because you’re a goddamn adult, one who can have an entire bottle of wine after that dusting is done.