Saturday, August 28, 2010

An old friend of mine got married this summer. Not that that's unusually big news, but this friend has had quite the journey. We've been friends a long time - high school, college roommates. Years later we even ended up getting married within weeks of each other, had our first babies within months of each other - and then things changed drastically for her. Her first husband was diagnosed with severe mental health issues. She was pregnant with her second baby and no longer in a safe situation. Tragedy of the cruelest kind.

As I get older and find out about more people I knew in my adolescence who have grown into serious mental health issues, it breaks my heart. Because there's so much stigma, and so many helpless feelings there. I have another friend who's husband has cancer. While equally tragic, it's socially normal to rally around someone battling something like cancer, but how to help someone who is battling their own brain turning them into a different person is daunting. It's not like you can just bring them a casserole and hope they get better. Mental health issues are not for sissies, I tell you.

Anyway, after years of being a single mom, putting herself through graduate school, and supporting her girls all alone, my friend married the greatest guy this summer. If anyone deserved a big dose of happiness, it's her. And so, to celebrate a new family, I wanted to give them a quilt.

The inspiration for this quilt came from a picture of a throw-pillow I saw in a magazine. (Don't you find that sometimes you find quilt inspiration everywhere?) Everything came from the stash, including the back and binding. I love that feeling. My only regret is the binding. I don't love it, but it was too late by the time I finished to change it. These pictures were hastily taken 10 minutes before I had to leave for the wedding. (Such is the life of our crazy summer.)

I'm thinking about publishing a pattern for this quilt. But I'm still looking for the perfect name. If you have a great suggestion, let me know. If I pick yours, you can have the pattern for free!

YOU are so sweet!! when i read the story and looked at the quilt... i only thought of { building blocks }... it's tough to rebuild one's life and you gotta do it one block at a time! Congrats to your friend!

I am happy that your friend is finally happy and has found a wonderful husband to love her.

The quilt is beautiful! Taking into account the whole story I was thinking "Sticks & Stones" I know how cruel people can be when you are going through something they don't understand, even if they are not trying to be. I am sure it wasn't easy for her!

dang - i love it - and what a story, huh? we just never know, do we? i can't stop looking at the quilt - it reminds of ying/yang b/c one is the opposite of the other - that of course, reminds me of seinfeld and the black and white cookie. i like some of the other suggestions, though... something about the way life works - blocks...

Love your quilt, and the story that inspired you to make it. Mental illness is all to often hidden because people are ashamed. However it is no different than any other illness one faces. You are a great friend, and obviously very understanding. Not sure for a name but when I look at your quilt I see windows. Maybe something along the lines of "windows to your soul".

Gorgeous quilt. Sad story with a great happy ending. I've got the perfect name for your quilt. The Modern Honeycomb. I hope you like-y because I would love that pattern. It reminds me a lot of a honeycomb pattern, but with the more modern touch of squares subbing in for the traditional hexagons. In LOVE! =)

I love this pattern. I like how the dark brown is the focal point yet the light brown mirrors the same pattern. I think Yin and Yang Squared would be a good name. Two basic blocks working together in different color combinations to make something greater than either could be separately.

I suffer from depression and hit rock bottom soon after our first daughter was born. Thankfully I was able to realize (after a long while) that I needed help and got it but it has been a long hard journey. Not for the faint in heart - bless my husband. Mental health issues often show up in the early 20's. The stresses of school, missions, marriage and being out on ones own don't help the trend either. I hope we can all keep an eye out on our young adult friends and family and not be afraid to speak out and talk to them if we think there is an issue.

your quilt is really amazing (equally impressed that it came all from the stash too), I think i saw that inspirational magazine photo too because something like this has been floating around my "i'll make it when i have time" pile too. It would be great if you wrote up a pattern. Maybe you could call it "stash chain" or something..I agree with your assessment that mental illness has a stigma that causes people to avoid it in conversation, even when the family members affected need open support more than anything. I don't know any family that is free of this type of trouble, but a whole lot of them pretend it isn't there.. I'm glad your friend was able to safely move on.

That is a beautiful quilt. I like the binding and I'm sure she loves it! I think a pattern would be great. I would call it something with the word "connect" or "connections". I see some previous posters had the same thought.

I think we're all thinking alike! I came up with connections and time after time (can anyone say that without thinking of Cyndi Lauper?) How about Time Traveler, or Stone's Throw/Skipping Stones (the way that when you throw a stone it skips across the water) I like the idea of nature because the quilt has such an organic feel to it. Whatever you name it, I'm ready to buy the pattern! ♥

What about calling it "Plinko"? It reminds me of that game on The Price is Right where the person stands at the top of the board and drops the plinko chip and watches it bounce on the pegs before it lands on the big money at the bottom! Love this look, and I can picture it in colors for my son's bed.

I've seen a similar quilt called Charm Bracelet, but this one is almost a double charm bracelet. It reminds me of those bead curtains you can buy for doors and windows, and it also looks a bit psychedellic because the eyes can shift focus from dark to light, so "Bead Curtain Mirage" would be a supercool name!

I think the quilt is beautiful, I look to it and think in life's crossroads: you know, life is a road with crossroads, and you go and make choices (so in away you turn right or left) and sometimes when you look back you can see the pattern, why you are where you are.

You're also right in mental diseases reaction: it's not easy fo the patiente and to the surrounder people, much have to do yet. All the happiness in the world to your family.

I married into a family that has multi-generations of mental history. Not only is mental illness hard on the person suffering from it but also on the families and friends. And you're right about the social stigma attached to mental illness and the reluctance for people to talk about it.

As for the quilt...I love the pattern and design! The name 'stepping stones' comes to mind. Kind of like life. We must step on each stone to learn something about ourselves, our strength, faith, etc. And each stone makes a path that leads us to happiness. Such as a wonderful husband for your friend!

A beautiful quilt, with a beautiful story (with a happy ending). I cried when I read it because it resonated with me - when my husband was diagnosed with cancer, we had so much support from friends and family and complete strangers. However, when he was battling depression a year later it was very isolating and we both felt like we couldn't go to people as we had a year earlier. Our story does have a happy ending in that he is in remission from both the cancer and the depression!

Anyway - I think a name for this beauty would be "Love's Links" - you and your friend have been linked together for a long time, and as we grow and evolve, we just add links to our own chain...

I am so happy for your friend. And I love the way you wrote about 'mental illness'. It couldn't have been said better!I was a single mom raising 4 kids all on my own for many years, and started my own interior design business...which eventually led me into the quilting industry. So when I say 'kudos' to your friend...it goes out with admiration.Beauty of a quilt you made her. I'm sure it will touch her heart.

Thank you for sharing the very personal story behind your gorgeous quilt. I love all the quilt-names that have been suggested. Here's a couple more - Goodbye Hello or Rhythm of Life - to honour your friend's past and to embrace her future. Catherine

It looks like pictures frames to me, so I would probably just call it the picture frame pattern. Maybe since you made it for your friend & her first husband had such bad mental illness, you could give a portion to an org. that benefits those with mental illness or research of the diseases?

I work as an art therapist with the mentally ill. I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes it is very hard to deal, & I get to go home at night. I can't imagine what it would be like to live with it myself... it brings a completely different level of compassion to the plate. One that many are not familiar with because of fear. Which is too bad, there is so much to learn from everyone on this earth. Everyone has some impact and connection to another... no escaping that.

This story of your friend is very moving to say the least. I totally agree with you about the whole mental health thing. In my life, I have know several individuals who battle with this type of thing on a daily basis. Tough to say the least. I hope that your find has truly found her pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I know she sure found that in you!

Here from Get Your Craft On. So true about society not accepting mental disorders as a real serious issue. You should like a very compassionate friend and your friend is lucky to have you. Beautiful quilt!! I love the pattern.

Oooooh, I really love this quilt! PLEASE print the pattern. For a name: how about "Grecian Link" if you want sophisticated or "In and Out" if you don't. It would be an honor to name such a lovely thing!

Love the story. I would call it "finding the way out" because it made me think of all those puzzles where you "start here" and then go through all these funny little trails and backtracks, trying to find the way to the end, where you get out. Sounds like that was sort of her story, too.My family deals with lots of depression and alcoholism, so I know about mental health issues. A day at a time.Joyce

very touching story, very beautiful quilt. Amazing how the human mind/body & soul affect so many lives through the years. I immediately thought of the stories your friend will be able to tell her grandchildren some day. How even in the most difficult situations she pressed on & has been blessed. To me she has a real 'legacy' to share with her family. Good work, good story, good friend.

I've been thinking about this since your post came up in my reader a whole week ago. And my best suggestion is "chocolate squares" which has nothing to do with friendship, or finding one another, or love, or new hope and marriage. Of course it may or may not have everything to do with my current craving of those little Dove squares...

A fantastic quilt and I can appreciate your story behind it. I have seen too many dealing with PTSD through their life experiences in the military or other events and even though it's common knowledge it happens, passint the stigma point is very difficult. I am glad your friend has found happiness with a new partner.

And that makes me think the title should reflect that... "There's no blocking happiness"

I LOVE this quilt! The story that goes with it makes me call this pattern . . . "Life is like a box of chocolates" because ya just never know what your going to get! And the pattern looks like a box of very fancy decorated chocolates.

Beautiful quilt, touching story. For a name, how about "The bonds that bind us". Too heavy maybe? Just seems to fit all around with the story past and present, and the pattern.

"Mental illness" runs in our family too, and I agree that it's a horrible taboo stigmatizing experience for all involved. So much is being learned though. I prefer to call it more of a "neurological disorder". I'm SOOO happy for your friend, and hope that the wedding was wonderful!!

I'm way late posting on this post but I was attracted by the beatiful quilt and touched by the story behind it. I also have mental illness in my family. It's not severe, but nonetheless, unsettling.

The blocks remind me of a road wrapping around each colored/focus block. Maybe "No Roadblocks" would be an appropriate tribute to your friend. It sounds like she had many "roadblocks" in her life that she didn't let get in her way. Glad that she's now in a good place - and lucky to have a friend like you!

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