Sunday, June 26, 2011

The little ways my dear friend Kelsey [at least, that's who I think it's from] shows me what she thinks of our friendship warm my heart and make me smile. Take a moment and share in the happiness that you have friends that care about you like I doubtlessly do.

Anyway. . .

I decided I will write something similar to what I wrote last year. I thought I'd tell all y'all in case you ever wanted to ask me if you could read it. The differences will definitely be great-for instance, I doubt this one will mainly be about blaze and how he made last summer a soap opera. We'll see what happens.

My aspirations to write every night quickly pummelled into the ground. Ehhh. So did my hopes of not sleeping past ten this summer. I think it's justifiable to sleep till noon if you can't get to sleep until three, though...right?

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Unfortunately, I still try, just in case we end up having a great and lengthy conversation that actually ends.But as always...

The shocking truth that if I don't text anyone during the day, no one is going to text me. Tested and proven. Should it matter? No. Does it? Unfortunately... I'm rather insecure.

Right now, I can't stop thinking about how I love my friends so much and how much they mean to me.Except with that, I can't stop thinking about how many times I've felt excluded by them, whether it be not inviting me to party at Pizza Pie or go on some ridiculous hike that I probably would've died on anyway...But still... I know that I miss out on a lot of funny things because I don't see them all every Sunday or Wednesday. I know there are some things that a lot of my friends aren't comfortable talking about with me because I have such a different view on them then they do.We've had some amazing times. I've felt so loved and so happy to be with such people. There are a few people that I feel a rush of affection for whenever I hear their names or whenever I talk to them-a tall boy I lovingly call Sunshine comes to mind-that I can always count on.I just wish there were more of them, and that they were able to talk more than they can.

I'll stop being ungrateful and unhappy. I promise.

White teeth, round eyes

a perfect pink half circle.

An automative going through the motions.

A soul aching to step out of it's prison

and not worry.

A heart buried away in the recesses

of the mind, the mind

functioning in monotone.

Is there any expression that goes

noticed?

Doesn't desperation bleed through

the translucent veil under which

it hides?

and yet--

the syllables that someone made of words

reveal a footstep,

a handprint of a child,

of innocence,

and it is reminded that it is not all alone,

not always.

Oh, these times are hard,They're making us crazy, don't give upon me, baby

With a beautiful, antique, opal/diamond ring rested on my finger and the warmth of a director's praise still spread throughout me, I feel happy and content with Summer. I've sent/received a couple letters, I've made [and spent] some money, I've seen some movies, I've sung a bit and acted a bit more, I've danced and my healing blisters didn't even crack open again, my hair is being cooperative and I'm slightly tan, I've started and finished a few amazing books... Life is good.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

"However, Ron did not appear on the map, and after a while Harry found himself taking it out simply to stare at Ginny's name in the girls' dormitory, wondering whether the intensity with which he gazed at it might break into her sleep, that she would somehow know he was thinking about her, hoping that she was all right."

So... Where exactly is my Harry Potter?Yes, I realize I get emotional about weird stuff. Like a fictional snowy owl's deathor the realization that boys in fictional stories often don't exist in real life.

However, after hearing something from a very good friend of mineabout his growing love life,and hearing about how sweet he is[of course, I always knew that]and thinking about some of my other friends-"Eugene" for example-I know these boys exist.

So again... Where's mine?

I want to sit at the public library, reading a book next to a boy I love. I want to meet with this boy everyday and go on wonderful adventures. I want a boy I love to show me that my only kisses in my life aren't only going to be from a jerk. I want to sit next to a boy I love while he plays me the piano [hopefully he'll possess this talent]. I want to go to a Bee's game with this boy I love [because, from some odd quirk, I absolutely love watching baseball]. I want to watch chick flicks and go on car rides and play on playgrounds and go to movies with a boy I'll love and who'll truly love me. I want another summer romance, but not one tempered with lies, like last year's.

With all my hopes and dreams laid out plainly on my sleeves,Laura.

PS. To those who believe my whole blog is about me wishing for a boy, get over yourselves. This is one post. And hello, I'm a teenage girl. Every teenage girl [and probably the boys, too--though I wouldn't know] think about this occasionally.

P.S. I was at the park and saw the darlingest little boy. The dad walked up with an equally cute little baby, and I told him, "They are soooo cute!" He replied, "I may've screwed up with a lot of things, but they did turn out great" [or something to that extent]. The vulnerability shocked me, as did the truth. We will all be redeemed in the form of the next generation.