Sunday, January 6, 2013

Day 137- Assertiveness as Steadfastness as Breath

I am going to be exploring the meanings of these words: “Assertiveness as
Steadfastness as Breath”. I am doing so because, at the moment, they are only words to me, and
not a living reality that I understand and practically apply in my life. This is important because practical application of these words is required.

First I will have a look at the dictionary definition of both ‘assertive’ and
‘steadfast’:

When I look at these words, I see
that I have a reaction towards words such as ‘aggressive’, ‘bold’, ‘demands’
and ‘dogmatic’- which are words that, when I face them in others I would be
‘put off’ due to judgments
I have made about them. I would judge them as ‘abrasive’, ‘annoying’, even
‘rude’. I see that in the past I would NOT want to be in a conversation with
someone who possessed these traits, and I would in fact have the tendency to
avoid them. So now to look at Why this is so:

The reaction I ‘m having towards these words is that, if I were in conversation
with someone that possessed the qualities they describe, I would feel ‘less-than’,
I would feel like I were talking to a wall, I would feel frustrated and angry because I
judge myself as ‘not assertive’, and I would feel like the other person was
‘more valid’ simply because they were more assertive. I also see the fear of
not being able to stand up to an assertive person, which makes me feel angry
and resentful towards them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word
‘assertive’ as bad/negative/wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word
‘assertive’ with the internal experience of ‘less-than’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word
‘assertive with the internal experience of ‘less-than’ thus creating a relationship
to the word ‘assertive’ in separation of myself, because in doing this, I will
never in fact GIVE myself the opportunity to BE assertive MYSELF.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word
‘assertive’ with the word ‘abrasive’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word
‘assertive’ within the word ‘abrasive’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the
word ‘assertive’ and from the word ‘abrasive’ by defining the word ‘assertive’
within the word ‘abrasive’ in separation of myself.

Sometimes it is necessary to be assertive, and to be abrasive, for example when
I am standing up within myself and not accepting/allowing abuse
from another. In this type of situation I wouldn’t want my relationship
to the word be such that I would avoid standing up for myself for fear
of the very same judgment
I have placed on the word itself. Instead, I would give myself the opportunity
to be/become the living word, as me, in moments where such a being/becoming is
required. Where no judgment is necessary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word
‘assertive’ to ‘talking to a wall’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word
‘assertive’ within ‘talking to a wall’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the
word ‘assertive’ and from ‘talking to a wall’ by defining the word ‘assertive’
within ‘talking to a wall’ in separation of myself.
I will not separate myself from assertiveness through creating the ‘walls’ I
perceive others to become, and which I myself become. Instead I take down my
walls of separation brick by brick through equal communication, understanding
and self-honesty, so that eventually no walls exist between human beings and we
realize we are all simply Here, coming from the same source and going to the
same place. The walls we have built are walls built in self-interest due to fear and survival,
because we live in a world of fear
and survival, where we are pitted against each other, wherein the ‘other’s’
loss is our ‘gain’, and we must protect ‘our gain’ from those that have less;
when in fact there is no real gain, we are all only ever losing, and the ones
losing the most are our children
and the generations to come.

I will continue to purify the
word assertive, and then redefine it in blogs to come.

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About Me

Hi, my name is Kimberly Kline (nee Doubt). I stand for an Equal Money System- I stand for a dignified life for all beings and I will no longer accept or allow this system of human greed and self-interest that is causing suffering, starvation and abuse for the masses. Every 'solution' we have tried so far has failed- from the United Nations to the United Church. Individual self-change and leadership by example is where it's at. I humbly commit myself to this process and invite anyone who has respect for Life to join me and walk with me, beside me, as self-willed equals, until all are free from the global compromise humanity has created for itself.
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