On the side wall of the Delsea Regional High School wrestling room hangs an unframed, 22-by-28 print of the team’s celebration of last year’s state title.

In the photo, the Crusaders are in complete jubilation huddled around the Group III championship trophy.

Not pictured is Lorenzo Ruggiero – the grappler who clinched the crown. He was in tears lying on the mat behind his teammates, inconsolable.

Ruggiero sealed Delsea’s 28-27 victory over Paramus when he dropped a 4-3 decision to Kyle Cochran in the match’s final bout. Ruggiero understood his performance won the program its first championship since 1991, but the loss still devastated him.

As the Crusaders soaked in their triumph, Ruggiero ran back to the weigh-in room and hid under a table, punching anything in sight. He couldn’t stop crying.

“I knew even though I lost, the team won, but at that point, already knowing that we won, it still killed me I lost the match,” he recalled. “Every single team was already done and they were around our match. … I see Bergen Catholic, Don Bosco, all these teams are there, just watching this one match, Brick is there, and everyone is going crazy because it’s a good match, and then I just lost.

“That was probably the worst loss I ever took in my life. I was bawling my eyes out. The next day, I didn’t get out of my bed. It killed me I lost.”

After nearly a full year, Ruggiero still can’t smile about that championship. All the senior has done is hope for another opportunity, a shot at redemption.

He’ll get his chance Sunday at the Pine Belt Arena at Toms River North as Delsea goes for its second straight title. The Crusaders will take on Paramus in the state semifinals, and would face the winner of South Plainfield-Passaic Valley for the trophy if they prevail.

“When it really comes down to it, I won’t be excited, I won’t be happy until we get back to the state finals,” he said. “Hopefully I’ll win my match and hopefully we’ll win a state championship.”

Dealing with despair

Ruggiero is more prepared for the moment than he was last year, and that stems from all the struggles he had following his setback to Cochran.

Ruggiero’s résumé following that loss was strong. He finished first at District 31 and took third at Region 8 to qualify for the individual state tournament in Atlantic City. However, he was never the same wrestler.

“My coaches had been trying to get me mentally prepared and were like dude, forget about the loss, and I don’t know what it was, but it really, really broke my heart that I lost that match (to Cochran),” Ruggiero said. “That’s why I performed the way I did in regions. I didn’t wrestle good. That’s why I performed the way I did in states when I went 0-2. … I just felt like I didn’t only let myself down, I let my team down, even though we won. I was heartbroken.”

It was a feeling he couldn’t shake. Days, weeks, even months went by, he just couldn’t get over that loss.

“The kid is not a scrub, he’s a great wrestler,” said sophomore Billy Janzer, Ruggiero’s teammate and friend of more than a decade. “There was no reason to be upset.”

“It was tough seeing him suffer like that,” added Delsea coach Greg Sawyer. “But at the same time, I felt empathetic towards him, because as a true competitor, you’re going to do everything you can to get your team the win, sacrifice for your team. But it still doesn’t feel very good to lose, and I could relate to that. I never handled losses great myself, and when you invest in it and you put yourself into the sport the way he does, a loss, even though your team wins, a loss, you still feel it.”

Sawyer and Ruggiero’s other current and former coaches spent a long time trying to break him out of his funk.

“There’s been very few wrestlers that have gone undefeated their whole life, if any,” Sawyer said. “There’s none that have gone without ever losing, so it’s going to happen, and when it does, it’s about how you handle it. Are you basing all your confidence on one loss, one match? Or are you able to rebound and come back, look at your portfolio and the consistency and the average of what you do.”

The comeback

Ruggiero was clearly motivated, as he spent five days a week in the wrestling room after the season. But it wasn’t until the summer that the light finally clicked on.

“It kind of hit me like, if I want to have a good senior year, if I want to have the senior year I dreamed of having, make it a reality, this is what I need to do,” Ruggerio said. “I need that loss to have me perform better. Sometime that summer, I stopped doubting myself and started really motivating myself.

"... I would have my wrestling bag with me (at all times). If (coach) Johnny (Johnson) called or I had private or regular practice, I would go. It wasn’t my dad pushing me or my mom or my brother. I was pushing myself to the point where I’m grown up, no one can do this for me anymore. It’s not Little League.”

The fruits of that revelation appeared during the Mustang Classic in December, where Ruggiero finished first at 152 pounds.

“Once I won that, that’s when I really knew (that the loss to Cochran) didn’t hurt me anymore,” he said. “It had actually become a part of me and helped me.”

Ruggiero passed another test on Jan. 30, during the Crusaders’ tri-match with Holy Cross and St. Augustine.

Ruggiero lost his first bout that day when, against the Lancers’ Avery DiNardi, he went for a “sloppy” double-leg late and got taken down himself, suffering a disheartening 3-2 defeat. Ruggiero had beaten DiNardi earlier in the year, and it was the type of moment he would’ve struggled bouncing back from before.

This day was different. Ruggiero picked himself right back up and delivered a clutch 1-0 triumph over fellow state qualifier Nick Clark during Delsea’s 31-23 triumph over the Hermits.

“He was able to find a way to tough out that win and not be affected by that other loss, not let it affect his confidence,” Sawyer said. “We’ve seen growth there, and if he keeps doing that, he’ll find himself high on the podium (at states).”

Atlantic City is still weeks away though. All Ruggiero wants is to prove himself in Toms River.

“This is a new year, new day, new me,” Ruggiero said. “That’s how I always think. I’m just very excited. ... If we beat Paramus, and in the finals beat (either South Plainfield or Passaic Valley), this is the best team in Delsea history. That’s a goal we plan on getting.”