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Not the Madison I’d like ..

It has probably been close to a month and a half we’ve spent nearly every weekend together if not some of the week too. Some of it at the ranch north of Sioux Falls. Some of it on the road where he’s had clinics. Much of it together with the kids .. and the rest of it in Madison. Wisconsin.

We had been taking full advantage, as best we could, of a couple months where there were good opportunities to spend time together as much as possible.

Because summer is about to hit.

“Wish it were this Madison,” I told him, knowing he’s got a lot of work to get to yet today and the kids this weekend .. I’m back to pretty packed weekends at home myself.

“Which one today?” I ask. I never know if it’s Madison, Minnesota? Or the one closer to home. (Madison, South Dakota is just down the road.)

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“There is the positive side and the negative side and at every moment I decide.” – William James

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Posting this now two days later as life has taken precedent over writing as of late and I’ve decided that’s ok (as long as I don’t let years go by as I have on past journals) ..

Regardless I am still feeling the same – sad we can’t all be together this weekend. I would love nothing more than for us all to be together.

But I have also, always tried to appreciate the gift of time apart, or of time alone. And quite honestly, for a few moments each day, I need time alone. That’s been tough for some in my life or in the past to understand. But the Cowboy needs it too. So we’re good like that.

So this is the ‘positive side’ of not being together this weekend. The part where we both get to decide to make the most of it.

Time alone this weekend for the Cowboy has meant doing a whole lot of nothing with the kids at the ranch. Bonding time they all needed. The Cowboy keeps telling me he’s offered to take them here or there and the response all weekend has been the same: “Can’t we just stay here and play, daddy?”

Time alone for us: I usually use it to slow down .. breathe. Deep. Pray. Go for a run. Take time to think about how I’m living my life and be conscious about how I spend my day. That way when it seems the world is disappointed you’re not doing enough or doing it right, you can hold your head high and say you thoughtfully did your best, did what was most important in your life and day with the time given and gave it all you had.

As a society I’m not sure we’re all that good at that anymore. But I might be wrong.

Besides some wonderful deep breaths ..

For us the down time has meant some wonderful q-t with my own daughter, not as much as I’d like because of obligations we both had this weekend but today is still ahead .. repotting plants that are now well established into a bigger pot or the garden ..

Laundry .. going through mail .. catching up with friends I haven’t seen in a very long time .. dusting recently strewn cobwebs out of the corners of the ceiling .. time with our horse later today .. more laundry .. and fresh bedding on all the beds .. cooking a wonderful dinner at home with the asparagus, tomatoes and rhubarb we gathered at the Farmers Market yesterday.

All things I would much rather do together .. with both of our families .. but in the meantime, we’re enjoying a beautiful weekend in Madison, WI.

About Carleen Wild

Journalist. Communications consultant. Photographer. Helping you share your story in a way that is meaningful to you as a person or for your business. Wife. Mom. Wisconsin transplant to South Dakota trying not to get swept away in crazy massive winds of Great Plains. Missing delicious cheese and great local brews.