France announces plans for affordable coffee on the Champs-Elysees by 2049

Following his plans to make France carbon-neutral by banning all petrol and diesel by the middle of the century, Newly-elected French President Macron has vowed to make a cup of coffee and a light snack affordable again in Paris within the same timescale.

The French President said all things are possible now that the French people had the wisdom to elect him President.

Mr. Macron, who has been seen in Vienna, Austria looking to buy a white horse, said it was a scandal that Paris was seen to be an expensive rip-off by tourists from around the world. “This is not good for the planet that France should been seen in this way, so I will fix the problem even though it may take some time,” he said.

President Macron told The Rochdale Herald that once his newly-elected majority made him President-for-life everything would change for the better in the republic and the world. We can have world peace,an end to bigotry and hatred, and clean air within 30,40 or 50 years…as long as I am President, Macron said.