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Running In SoCal Is So Unfair (Columbia Station Half Recap)

After our nightof centerpiecing, Nail Salon Showdowns, and pee-pants beer, I dug my bright eyes & bushytails from my suitcase for errand-running with mom. There’s a lot of little crap you have to buy for a wedding, did you know?

Stick pony & foam sword for photobooth.

Spanx shorts for your chub rub.

Plastic cups for in-room drinking.

Ibuprofen for the morning after the aforementioned.

And anything mom finds and claims “would be so cute for __(blah blah)__!”

The big item on our to do list though : meet B’s parents for the long-awaited return of my engagement ring! Whooo it felt good to get that guy back after all the post office drama.

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Prep for the Columbia Station Half was on par with all other OUaL-sanctioned events – liquid carbs, spicy food, and too much sugar. At least this time I can blame L – She always has all my favoritejust-can’t-say-no-even-though-I-know-I-should goodies on hand.

I won’t credit that for my shitty race though, because I don’t want to have to give up my favorite parts of race prep. I’m 100% blaming the humidity. Oh and I guess the non-training. Seems like it might be about time to kick that plan to the curb…

Anyways, on to the race.

(All races are wins when the people behind you get to stare at a hot pink spandexed bum all race)

This was a teeny tiny race – only 86 runners. BUT! they had an inline skate division, which was totally awesome. And for the record, it is SO much easier to convince non-running friends into moving 13.1 miles if they get to wear wheels for it.

L & Amy joined the fun. Amy actually bladed this race last year, which was how I heard about it. She claims last year there were a lot more “amateurs” skating – as in, wearing skates you buy at a sporting goods stores and cotton. Honestly, I think she came back for the eye candy and the hope for a date.

Here’s all I’m going to say about the race itself :

The course was a boring double loop through country roads. I didn’t mind, because I was all hopped up on not being in congested Orange County anymore and enjoyed the open air (including the slight scent of manure.)

Running in 86% humidity when you’re used to 0% all the time is incredibly difficult. I bet that’s what it’s like for smokers to exercise. It was like trying to breathe through a sweatshirt and only 1/10th of my lungs were open. Not ideal.

My legs were heavy and dead most of the race, and the little roller hills seemed like mountains to my pansy, un-trained ass.

Mentally I was anywhere but the race – thinking about all wedding stuff left to do, all the people I couldn’t wait to see, and how I was going to still fit in my dress if I kept guzzling barley pops at the rate I was.

Despite the desolate course, the volunteers & spectators were friendly & fun, and the course was easy to follow.

Er, I thought at least. A surprise visit from L & Amy around mile 7 proved that wrong (or maybe them really blonde?)

S : Yeah dipshits you were supposed to go straight back there, not turn.

L & A : Hmm. Nobody told us. Maybe we should turn around? Do you think we should go a little further? Maybe somebody up here will know… (still skating along beside me)

Yeah they eventually turned around. L guesses they did an extra 2-3 miles. Good thing they weren’t trying to break any records.

Oh, and at least they didn’t get hit by a cyclist. Really, that happened. The cyclist went down and separated his shoulder. Runner man stayed standing and finished the race. Best part – afterwards he told L & A :

I was pissed because I could have finished faster if he hadn’t hit me.

A little while later, I crossed the finish with a shiny new Personal Worst – something I knew was bound to come around sooner or later. Oh well, still put the miles in, right?

UPDATE : I just checked and it turns out this whole time I thought I PW’d and I really didn’t. Turns out I’m super dumb and too lazy to check my actual times. Do I lose lots of runner points for not knowing my race times by heart? But anyways, yay!

1:56.37 was apparently good enough for 3rd division place, though. I know what you’re thinking – with only 86 runners and 20ish divisions, is it even possible NOT to place?

I’ll have you know there were actually SEVEN whole females in the 25-29 group. Upper 50 percentile, baby.

Front & back of finisher medal, Division place medal

To counteract the suckiness of my time and race though, let’s talk about how weird this is :

All three finishers in my division are named Sarah! AND, we were the ONLY Sarahs in the whole race! Creepy weird, Ohio…

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16 thoughts on “Running In SoCal Is So Unfair (Columbia Station Half Recap)”

That really is totally strange – and they are all spelled with with an “h”.

Anyway, 1:56 in crazy humidity, untrained, and wedding-stressed is good! When I saw the PW comment, I figured you were over 2 hours or something. So dramatic with your PW! Call me when you run over 2 hours and then you can bitch.

I was nervous to say anything about it because I just thought my body was all jank from being in the midwest so long. I feel much better knowing this is not normal. At least we still don’t have mosquitos in SoCal!

that is totally weird that all 3 of you were named sarah, what are the chances of that happening. I wish I wasn’t signed up for the other race and I would have came out and ran this race with you. Although not gonna lie, 13.1 miles in humidity sucks balls. oH and love the target run shirt, super cute

I want to design a race and have a ridiculously huge hill at the end of it. and tell no one. claim it’s completely flat…and then watch the runners look at me with pure hate when they realize the course elevation :).

Anyways, good job girl. I’m guessing Ohio and NoVA (where i grew up) are equally miserable in July and I think that explains only 86 people bein’ in the race ;).

Hahaha I’d make a sign with your face and “Race Director” on it real big and stand at mile 12.5. They’d be like “wtf??” and then when they hit the hill they’ll be all, “oh that’s what that crazy chick with the sign was talking about…”

This is so awesome. You’re so awesome. And hills at the end of races are NOT acceptable!!! They had a HUGEEEEE hill somewhere between mile 12.0 – 12.5 at my first half this year in Austin!!!! RIDICULOUS. It was like a freakiiiing Mountain.

Just found your blog via Run Eat Repeat – happy to find this CLE race recap! My hubby and I just got home from a great, relaxing vacation from SoCal this Wednesday. Let us know next time you’re in CLE – we’re always down for blogger meetups around here!