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About Me

I am an ordinary gal, who likes dark chocolate, red wine, sorghum beer, matcha lattes, a lunatic cat, a comfy bed, soul music, a good book, an interesting man with a great sense of humor and a canvas bag of yarn to make her day. I call my hobby CrippleMeCrochet. Yet, I do it anyway. Heck, I will need something to keep me busy in later years, even if it is complaining about my joints aching. I just keep getting older.
My biological clock is ticking because I put a rechargeable battery in it. I laugh so hard I need an inhaler. And finally, they do not call me the Frizzyhooker because I like having sex on shag rugs. It is just my usual *state of being.
For 2011, all of my blog titles will be taken from the subject lines of junkmail and spam messages. You are welcome. In 2012, I am going to use the episode titles for North American reality TV shows as blog entry titles.
*If you are one of those people who cringe when you read typos or grammar errors on a blog, then you need more wine in your life. Relax and keep reading.
Thanks to Mel for the banner. You can contact her at http://crazycatladymel.blogspot.com.

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Friday, August 1, 2008

So, I had an interesting visit from my neighbor last night.I was on the phone with my satellite dish company. If you have read my blogs you know that I have a hate-hate relationship with my communication services. I endure their outages, and they gouge me with late payments for being short three dollars.I try to call them when I am relaxed but it never fails, I lose my temper.My neighbor, Anarchy calls it “Polite Outrage.”According to her, I do not really raise my voice and I say things like “ridiculous” and “unacceptable”when other people scream and curse.I guess i am known for having a low voice. So when I think I am raising it, I am not really raising it at all. She knows all of this because she overheard me yesterday.

She had come to the house while I was in the midst of being curtly informed that I ‘would have to wait until Tuesday for a service appointment for the malfunctioning replacement DVR for which he will gladly waive the fee, even though he would be delighted to schedule an appointment sooner, but other customers have already set-up service calls meaning that I would be without dish service for five days that will be credited to my account and I should be sure to return the original defective DVR as soon as possible despite that I will not be able to watch any programming until my service call because I do not want to have any more problems.’ Arghhh. I was not able to finish my girlfriend's shawl because I was so angry about the malfunctioning DVR. I needed it ready for my Friday night shows.

Yeah, all of that. Once I ended my call on a high note.If you can call waiting five days for a service appointment and trying to live like it is 2003 and I do not have a DVR, a high note.

She told me that there were no lights on at her home, all the cars were gone, the children (her cousins) were missing, and she heard noises.She appeared quite frightened.She had entered the dark house and was unable to turn on the lights because the switches had been moved.The TV looked as if someone had tried to move it by placing a blanket under it and she heard sounds from the second floor.No one was home.

I could not tell if she were more frightened about the missing children or the darkened house.It was her job to watch the children and make their dinner.She and I began calling members of her family.No one answered but messages were left for the parents.She asked me when was the last time I “saw anyone at the house?” I saw the kids playing around the house when I arrived home from the gym at 7 p.m. It was not almost 10 p.m.

As we spoke in whispers while nervously glancing at the house, the children emerged, slowly one by one.The eldest asked, “Why did you leave?”

Anarchy asked, “Where the hell were you?”The kids said, “We were playing Hide And Seek.”

That was when she absolutely lost her mind…..

And I had front row seats.

I can’t tell anymore because I still have to live there.

She had left a message with the mother who, in turn, had called the kids. The kids told her that Anarchy had entered the house during their game, tried to turn on the lights, looked at the TV and then rushed out while leaving the door wide open.The mother told them to go to my house and gather their older cousin who was going nuts looking for them.

They watched Anarchy the entire time and said nothing to her.The kids had been sitting on the couch in the dark, very quietly to avoid detection from the Seeker.

She was so angry with the kids she stayed at my house until she calmed down.

I don’t blame her, if that had been me someone would have had to hold me down and forget about Polite Outrage.