Monday, February 18, 2008

Supercilious web quiz of the day!

I noticed that they were advertising something called 'The Dumb Quiz' on Facebook today. Well, thought I to myself, if they can get away with sneering at the intellectual capacity of their readers, then why can't I? That's right!

So here you go. If you want to find out how you rank on the dumb scale ('Cretinous jackanape who is not fit to wipe the little toe of a MENSA member' being the lowest, and 'Lip-curlingly superior intellectual being' being the highest), just answer the following ten questions...

THE AUTHENTICALLY OFFICIAL AND OFFICIALLY AUTHENTICWILLTYPEFORFOOD DUMB QUIZ

1. What is the opposite of hot?

2. How many buns do you get if you add one bun to three buns?

3. What do you normally open to get in or out of a house?

4. How many legs does a dog normally have?

5. Are there 24 hours in the day?

6. What one-syllable word starting with 'B' rhymes with 'Match'?

7. Is Australia a country town, a city, or a nation?

8. What one-letter word, beginning with 'I', do you sometimes use to refer to yourself?

9. My name is Tim. What is my name?

10. A particle of mass m rests upon a rough horizontal plane with a coeffiecient of kinetic friction mu=1/4 and is connected by light elastic strin, with elastic constant k, to a fixed point, P, in the plane. If the string is just taut find the initial speed, V, that the particle needs if it is projected directly away from P such that it just returns to its inititial position.

HOW YOU SCORED: 1-9 questions right.Bad luck, feller - you are officially DUMB.

10 questions right: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE SMART!

UPDATE! - This post is entitled 'Supercilious web quiz of the day'. Astute readers will have noticed that this quiz isn't very super, but it is very silious, so hey. At least I got one part right.

Facebook has no need of an official dumb quiz. It already has many covert variants whereby one proves one's dumbness quotient in one's willingness to do the test. The advertisements on Facebook are also an unofficial dumb test.

And no thanks for the unpleasant reminder of Yr 12 Physics and my Yr 12 Physics teacher, a most unpleasant man whose chief passions in life seemed to be screaming, reminding people that he had an honours degree in pure mathematics and inappropriate relationships with teenage girls.