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If you're looking for glass-half-full affirmations, you're in luck. The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.

With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top ten funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC, and Mashable.

"Tim Siedell clearly has no life, but he's extremely funny while not having one." Rob Reiner; Actor, Director, Writer, Producer

From Oxford University Press:

At some point, I think we've all asked ourselves, "When is the best time to start training a kitten to hold a knife?"

That question-written by Tim Siedell, a.k.a Twitter's badbanana - is one of the expertly crafted one-liners you can find in his new book Marching Bands Are Just Homeless Orchestras: Half-empty Thoughts Vol 1. It's the funnest/funniest book I've picked up in donkey's years, and it's also pretty and shiny and full of cool illustrations by Brian Andreas. Unless you hate puppies and America, you should give yourself and your minions this tremendous book... -by Mark Peters

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

I must admit the title attracted me in the first place having been a former marching band member. Do I need to say much about this book? It is worth every penny (including the shipping). There is much anticipation on this end for Vol. 2. I can't help but think the world should just stop and take time to read this book. Perhaps the world would be a little bit better place. Needless to say, it is extremely enjoyable for the whole family and allows for a different perspective on life...and that isn't a bad thing.

I just got the book in the mail and now I can't pry it from the domineering hands of my two roommates who have no idea who badbanana is. I showed them a snippet and told them how awesome my next two days were gonna be and they've sat on the couch tittering like a couple of babies on nitrous oxide for the past hour. So, uh, well done!

I tweet, Well, I don't actually tweet a lot but I have a Twitter account because I love to follow certain people on there.By far, my favorite person to follow is Bad Banana, aka Tim Seidell. I have been looking forward to and laughing at his comments for the last year.And, now he has a book, a wonderful, terse, hysterical, pithy, amazing little book of his musings. AND, to make it even better, Brian Andreas, he of StoryPeople fame and fabulousness, had contributed lots of funny drawings to go along with the quotes.

This guy makes me laugh. Hard and Long. Loud and Lusty. This book is wonderful and I cannot wait for more, many more. But, for now, a lot of stockings I know will have this gem sticking out from them this Christmas

I can't wait for them all to "get" the title of my review! (You all too....HUGE laugh!)

Very few books in this world entice immediate action. But this book was so hilarious and so "share-worthy" that I wanted to be sure all my house guests would see it, pick it up and read it. Hence, I bought a coffee table. Albiet, it was a cheap coffee table.

From beginning to end this book will make you crack a smile on every page. And on most pages, I laughed out loud. The humor is an odd but very truthful perspective on the world. The author's slant on life is very similar to mine, but he makes it much, much funnier. And I want to share all this funny with people who don't know Badbanana from the twitter world.

Flip & glibby but oh so smart & funny. If you appreciate the word candy of @badbanana or maybe just are a fan of sarcasm and irony, this is the book of the season for you and your irreverent friends. Purchased 2 copies and came back for more because how many times do we get to laugh out loud in bed, while reading anyway? Everyone needs one of these, or two to share...