When Your Call Feels Far ::: Meet Christiana

Being a single missionary has long been a part of my identity. I rarely know exactly where or what I am being led to, and have often resonated with John 3:8, “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” That is, until three years ago. Three years ago the Lord put a specific place on my heart, and I cannot tell you how excited I was. I had just come home from the most amazing year overseas with the Lord. Prayer, worship, community, and evangelism were part of my daily life, and had strengthened my walk with the Lord in a way I still have a hard time fathoming. I thought my feet were firm, my faith unshakable… I was wrong.

For two years I struggled. Instead of trusting in the Lord’s provision, His call on my life was starting to feel like an impossible goal, and my spiritual walk became stagnate. I was desperate for something, anything, to rekindle the fire that I felt slowly dying inside of me. The Lord heard my cry and as the unbelievably loving Father He is, intervened. One Sunday, Chrystan approached me about joining a Monday morning prayer group with a few women in the church; I grabbed onto the idea like it was a lifeline. The 6:30 time frame was daunting, as I have always struggled with mornings, but I knew I had to go.

Let me just tell you that there is something so beautiful about God’s daughters being vulnerable with each other and humbling themselves before Him. There is a softness to the presence of the Spirit when it fills the room, but one not lacking in power or fierceness. For after all, “our God is a consuming fire.” (Heb. 12:29), but also, as the Psalmist writes, “Has His unfailing love vanished forever? Has His promise failed for all time?” Never. Never. Never. In the last year God has shown His unfailing love and promises to be true in ways that have left me shaken and on my knees.Through these beautiful women, God has been reminding me that He never fails. His call is never void, and His provision is always abundant… He loves me, and He will fight for me, just as He is fighting for these amazing women He has put in my life.

The strength to win this battle begins and ends in prayer. When the beautiful women of God come together to bear each other’s burdens and place them at the feet of Jesus, we can begin to walk into the victory that the Lord says is already ours… we begin to believe it… to hear His voice, to see where He is moving, and to fight for one another when we feel like we are drowning and alone. You aren’t, but the enemy will succeed at convincing you that you are if you don’t have the support of other godly women around you. If that is you, pray, pray that the Lord brings women into your life, or shows you those that are already there, to fight together in prayer with. Faith really does move mountains, but that mustard seed grows from our faces on the floor and our voices raised to the One who died so that we might live and know Him. What an amazing privilege.