Comedy Central aired the roast of Roseanne Barr last night. I didn’t watch it. TOOO BLUUUUE! Nah, not really. I’m sure it was pretty nasty though. I heard there were fart jokes, fat jokes, and ex jokes. What else?

Did anybody get really mad about anything? We should talk about that because people LOVE talking about that. I do. It’s one of those things that I think we all know the fundamental truth behind but still engage in. Like that talking about the weather is boring. “They did say it was going to rain but yeah, so weird, NOT A CLOUD IN THE SKY! Let’s discuss, person who I have little else to talk about with in a casual way, but would be rude to ignore!”

For roasts, and “unapologetic” comedy in general, it’s more that we all know that the funniness of insult comedy falls on a kind of Kinsey-like sliding scale that goes Toothless –> The Right Amount Of Bite –> Ouch, Too Much. You fall on either side of that sweet spot and the joke’s no good. That’s all the roasts are: comics trying to hit the bullseye every time. Put like that it’s pretty tame sport, but oh my GOD we get so MAD about it when they miss!!

Some people are better at it than others. Some are making a career out of having that talent in spades, while others should probably hang up the towel (intended) and not climb up on a First Amendment soapbox to make excuses for an arguable miss. So how did everybody fare this time? And, perhaps most importantly, who’s voting Barr 4 Prez???