One of the messed up concepts my perp engrained in me was competition and related it to how I related to others. As a kid this was devasting. My family all had this kinda of "hold the kid" behavior. It was a game.

Today it is still devasting. I always relent and stay isolated and but i am trying to get out.

I hated sports. I never dated in HS. I was home taking care of the big ones.

I am not real sure what you were experiencing about competition. Would you mind explaining what was going on in a bit more detail as I would like to respond to you. Iknow that I hate competition and would like to talk more to you about it

omg it sounds like you never really got to bond with your parents. That you were kind of bounced around from pillar to post, never feeling secure at all that you were loved and most importantly, accepted.

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