Kathym12 wrote in asking how to stop depression. We’ll Kathy people who find themselves in a state of prolonged depression should seek the help of professionals. I will however cover what the professionals say to do in this article.

Depression is just one of many psychological states a person can experience. You may prefer to look at depression as just one of the attitudes that shapes how we experience the world.

What normally compounds depression is the feeling that you have no control over it. That’s wrong! There are very specific steps you can take to quickly change your attitude.

Remove Depression Immediately

You become depressed in a similar way to how you become happy. If you think it’s impossible to stop depression, I guarantee you will no longer be depressed after you go sky diving. So, if this act of jumping out of a plane, being terrified, landing and surviving eliminates depression instantly, why would there not be less extreme solutions.

Most people try to get rid of depression by listing why they are depressed. This is not only not helpful, but may compound the depression. You need to instead ask, “how do you create the feeling of depression?” Continue asking:

What does it feel like to become depressed?

If you where going to tell someone how to become depressed, what would you say?

Think about what you see, feel, and hear, not about specific issues that depress you!

I wrote a lot about Neuro Linguistic Programming in a previous article. It’s probably better to read that first, so you understand some of the jargon I’ll be using.

The Mind and the Reverse Idea

You have to think about what you want, and not what you don’t want. The mind finds it impossible to understand a statement such as, I want to stop being depressed. The reason why, is that to think about not being depressed the mind must first think about depression.

Don’t believe me? You probably have not thought of a turtle all day, so don’t think about turtles now. You definitely don’t want to picture a turtle in your mind. While not thinking about a turtle, don’t imagine a monkey on the turtle’s back. Don’t imagine the monkey is waving at you. And definitely don’t imagine the monkey has a sombrero on it’s head. Get the point?

By suggesting that you don’t imagine something you do just that. You need to instead find what you want and move toward that. Not away from depression.

Becoming Congruent

When you decide what you want, make sure it is what you want and not what you should want. These incongruent thoughts defeat many a well laid plan. If you don’t define exactly what you want you will find it hard not to procrastinate toward that goal.

Why Do People Behave the Way they Do

People behave the way they do based off of their values, beliefs, needs and habits. These things create our own personal view of reality. What is amazing is that our realities can change instantly. Here is an example:

You wake up after not sleeping well

You have to stop at a supply shop before work and your running late

You get stuck in traffic

Just as you pull into the parking lot a man speeds infront of your car cutting you off

As you spot a parking space, he pulls into it ahead of you

You are forced to park far from the store, and carry everything the whole way across the parking lot

How do you feel about this man?

As you get out of your car the man rushes toward you

He is covered in blood and carrying a badly injured boy in his arms

“Please call 911, this boy was just hit by a car”, he says

Now how do you feel about this man? Your whole reality switched in a second, with just a bit more information.

Imagine a Great Day

Since we create our own reality and our reality is based off of what we imagine is going own, does it work the other way? Yes, but like learning anything new you have to be prepared for mistakes, or feedback as I prefer to call it.

Like my baby learning to walk, anything worth doing, is worth doing badly. If you learn from mistakes, falling short of your goals doesn’t make you a failure. It just makes you able to avoid those mistakes in the future.

You are In Charge of your Life

Never let others take control of how you want to feel. How differently would you have reacted to the man above, if you knew he had an injured child in the car. So, if someone spouts off at you, just assume they have their reasons and move on having your good day.

You can’t let any unpleasant experience or crazy person ruin your day. They are not in charge, you are!

You Have the Tools

If you have ever felt happy, empowered, or on top of the world, you have the tools to change your state of mind at will. If not, you should probably try sky diving 🙂 Most people get stuck in an unresourceful state when they feel they are running out of option’s. So, we are going to now get you to remember a resourceful happy you.

Why Does My Brain Allow Me to Feel Bad?

We enter and store information in our brains based off of what we:

See

Hear

Feel

Smell

Taste

When we are asked a question, or we pose a question to ourselves, our brain retrieves these remembered experiences. If I ask you what you ate for dinner last night, you remember through your senses. If I then ask, “what are you eating tonight”, a similar pattern occurs.

People get stuck in a negative pattern when they constantly ask themselves negative questions:

Why do I always fail (Now imagining a past failure)

Why does everyone rip me off (Now imagining being ripped off)

Why does everything always go wrong (You get the point)

Many studies have found that the one difference between people that consistently succeed versus others is found here. Highly successful people think mainly about succeeding. They expect success! They are shocked temporarily by a setback. They then expect success they next time. Why?

Our Brains Follow the Consistency Principle

I wrote a lot about this in a previous article Bargaining for Advantage. The Consistency Principle basically states that we will always strive to remain consistent with any statement we make out load, or in our own head. If we are feeling overall negative, our brains will not except positive thoughts. We do this with three filters:

Selective Recall: We remember selectively based off of our current feelings.

This is how a person feeling negative only sees, remembers and exposes themselves to bad things. You have to change your whole way of thinking and believe it. Have you ever performed so beyond the normal you that you noticed and stated in your head that this is not normal. Did you then start to perform less spectacular? That was your brain keeping you consistent.

You must develop a new pattern of learning and practice being the new successful you. And now we are going to do just that.

Remember what you saw, heard and felt. Go to this time and experience it fully

Take this feeling, and start listing all of those things you are certain of.

Think about the fact that:

You can take a deep breath

The sun will rise tomorrow

You will learn something new

You can do a good deed anytime you want

You will meet kind people

There are people who care for you

People care for you, because you are a good person

You have done great things in the past

Continue on for as long as you want. Imagine all of these things happening.

Who do you know that seems to be able to accomplish anything?

How would they accomplish, what you want to accomplish?

Think about the phrase, “What would it be like if you could accomplishment?”

Think about the phrase, “What do you see as you accomplishment?”

When you are as confident as you can be, set an anchor. (Ear lobe, back of knee, etc.)

Now if you feel a non-resourceful state coming on, touch that anchor point and feel invigorated.

You are the only person that controls how you feel. You alone decide how anything effects you. Remember, you have an infinite variety of choices you can make. Always keep your options open, and you then will be in charge of your own destiny.

That’s All Folk’s

I hope that helps you. People also find great enjoyment in yoga, meditation, working out, etc. Whatever it is do it. The last thing you want to do is sit alone and do nothing.

If you have a question, leave it in the comment section below. I love to talk with you.

Here to Serve

Think Tank

10 Responses to “How to Stop Depression Now”

Something else that a teacher once told me, look up. When we’re feeling depressed we tend to look down. It is forcing the body to do in hopes that the mind will follow. Holding a pencil in your lips will help you be less sad too. It activates the same muscles in your mouth as smiling. I learned that from the same teacher.

I am sure you can find the article that discusses the study where people find comics funnier when they are holding a pen or pencil in their lips. It’s the concept of let you body do and your mind will follow.

It should be noted that some people actually have chemical imbalances in there brains and it makes this sort of work to eliminate depression less likely to succeed. Sometimes, some people need to take medication to help the process along.

I absolutely agree and that is why the first sentence in the article is “people who find themselves in a state of prolonged depression should seek the help of professionals.” This article is more for people that cannot afford to seek the help of professionals. Thanks for pointing that out though, because it is best to seek professional help always.

Thank you for posting such an insightful and thought provoking article. Although I have to say I take an issue with a point or two with it. I have a little insight into this “depression illness”. You see I’ve suffered with BP/ADHD (that chemical imbalance thing) and other strangeness for a very long time.

First I would like to suggest; you change this posts title to, “How to live after you start receiving treated for depression.”

In response to your suggestion to seek professional help if you find yourself in prolonged depression, I agree however don’t wait! The longer a person exists in an depressive emotional state the harder it is to come back form it. The damage done to one’s self and those around themselves is real and everlasting.

The second and third paragraphs of this post are just offensive. (IMHO) You couldn’t be more wrong if you misspelled every word.

For clarity being depressed is not the same as being in a state of depression. Also being manic is not the same and being happy. Happy and sad are both emotions while being manic or in a “depressive state” are symptoms of a treatable illness.

My answer to Kathym12 or anyone else who is dealing with mood disorders is to get capable help right away. That is much easier to say than to do.

Here is a short list of a few steps I took to help me “stop depression” for myself.

I educated myself using the resources readily available on the internet. I realized that my depression was a symptom of an illness. At that pointed I stopped trying to fix myself by force of will. All the self help books and videos never worked for me. Like so many times before I failed every attempt and felt worse afterword. Finally I changed tactics and I began to seek effective treatment.

Next I enlisted the help of my family to form a support system for this purpose. I did this by insisting that THEY get counseling! This is not very easy to do either because it meant they needed to accept my behavior was symptomatic and not that I was a rotten person. Needless to say there was more than a little resistance to that. There are support groups and other resources available in most communities for the family’s of those who suffer from mood disorders.

I had my support system(family) locate support groups in my community. This turned out to be a very important step. I insisted a family member accompany me to the group meetings. By having a family member accompany me they where able to identify with others who have similar coping problems. This is where things really began to turn around.

Get competent professional help. Go shopping for a therapist. Your therapist should be someone whom you can relate to and who will take an interest in your welfare. Do not see your family doctor for the treatment of mood disorders unless they have the proper training, education, experience, which is not very likely. Your therapist should have a working relationship psychologist. If not you might want to consider finding one who does.

One of the difficulties people who suffer from mood disorders have to deal with is, they don’t even know how to ask for help. Out of desperation they will seek advice and assistance from unlikely sources. This is because they have been failed by those who are closest to them. Often when someone asks “How do I stop depression?” What they are really saying is… please help me.

Thank you for writing this article which is full of substantive advice for anyone who wishes to thrive in a complex world.

I agree with you 100%. Getting professional help as quickly as possible is what everyone should do!

What you have to understand is that I often write articles that I wish I had available in the past when I was having issues. At one point I knew that I couldn’t depend on anyone and knew my life was in danger on top of that. I was young and couldn’t support myself on top of that. The only thing that got me through it was self help books. I read and decided to take control of my life no matter what.

I threw myself into work and reading. I was 14 and had to lie to get a job 🙂 The fact that I didn’t dwell on my issues and lack of options, but instead worked to create new options was enough to get me back on track.

I know I didn’t have anything wrong physically and wasn’t put through enough abuse to cause a serious mental problem. I know many people also have it way better than me. This tribulation at such a young age has actually made me a better person to day in many ways.

I thank you for taking the time to set me straight on what you disagreed with. I love to learn from others. I also appreciate the fact that you showed how you solved your issue step-by-step.