2007-01-04T13:50:28ZPunBBhttps://www.bobafettfanclub.com/boards/topic/1025/friends-of-the-trade-enemys-of-the-jedi-a-fanfic/thanks- I'll try that]]>https://www.bobafettfanclub.com/boards/user/705/2007-01-04T13:50:28Zhttps://www.bobafettfanclub.com/boards/post/26834/#p26834Not bad but you need to divide it into paragraphs (makes it much easier for the reader to follow).

You should also start a new paragraph when someone else speaks etc. Hope this helps. I look forward to reading more

]]>https://www.bobafettfanclub.com/boards/user/5/2007-01-04T07:34:59Zhttps://www.bobafettfanclub.com/boards/post/26826/#p26826ok well I'm sorta new to this whole fanfiction bit but I do write so heres goes nothing..... (ps: any feed back on this and wether it should continue is greatly appreticated.

FRIENDS OF THE TRADE ENEMYS OF THE JEDI CHAPTER 1

A young Boba Fett stood beside his father Jango, eyeing the village nervously. He was only nine, but his father had brought him along on a hunt, he had been excited at first and still quivered with energy as they stood amidst the small gathering of seemingly deserted straw huts. They hadn't seen anyone for an hour and Jango seemed on edge that's what made boba nervous. Not only as a perfect replica of Jango , but as son did Boba know that when his father was nervous he ought to be nervous too and probably even had the right to be scared. But he refused to look frightened in the eyes of his father, as a bounty hunter's son he could show no fear. Jango pressed a button on his gauntlet and the mechanics in his helmet flashed to life,"no one here" he said into the com, "they're there" said a grisly voice on the otherside "and remember...DEAD!" the words chilled Boba adding to the wipping winter wind across his face, his father didn't usually take bountys concerning killing people, it was above Jango Fett. Boba still found it interesting, he had been told nothing, nothing except that for his safety he had to come along...."the death watch" stated Jango uneasily "I knew it" a starship and then another and another landed just behond a ridge and out of their veiw and warriors doning the same armour a his father climbed out and began firering from the hill. Boba got caught in the excitment and drew up his blaster from near his hip, copying his fathers actions , he fired ,but missed "Boba get behind me!" Boba took another shot and started to move, but he was obviously being to slow for jango's taste. His father shoved him back. Dodging between the huts they took down the four warriors and though Boba only provided distraction he felt proud to be somewhere so dangerous. "we're going to need to leave" his father hurriedly ordered "why whats wrong?" asked Boba unable to understand, they had just won. Hadn't they? "It's just as I suspected, the deathwatch wants me outa the picture" Boba gasped."I was hired to kill a man who inturn has been hired to kill me, someones playing jokes and I don't like it" Boba looked frantically up to his father, the mighty jango fett, best bounty hunter ever, chosen template for an entire clone army and he had a price on his head? "No" he breathed stepping back"no...it's not true" His father turned to him"it is son, and your going to have to be very careful, don't get caught anywhere without me around" Boba nodded, shifting uneasily, maybe dangerous situations weren't always somting to be proud of. "Quick back to the ship, we have some questions to answer" Boba on his fathers comand started back as obdiantly as if he were one of the thousands of altered and trained clone troopers that were brought into being along with him. slave 1 waited behind some brush, the modified firespray class sat menacinling under the cloud cover, not even the imperials messed with slave 1. Boba started for the ramp only for his path to be crossed with laser fire. "Boba into the trees!" yelled Jango from somwhere behind him. Boba ran as fast as he could thick intto the tangle of furs. An explosion lit up the ground behind him and he was thrown to his knees, he got up twisting his right ankle and took off again. He ran on, explosions seemed to burst from everyspcae availible, this must be a motions sensor mine trap, thought Boba, the forest blazed and smoke stung his lungs and eyes, he grew light headed. A sudden snap caught him off gaurd and he was hit with a burning branch, it caught his shoulder and nearly took him down, just as he caught sight of the end of the dense forest. Oh, he though I'm gonna die... he tried not to cry, he'd disappointed his dad. He couldn't, his coat caught fire and tha warm fur spread the small blaze quickly, Boba jumped and dove off a hill of snow rolling down to a heap in the bottom. His shoulder numbed with cold and pain his eyes stung, blurring with tears, he fough out of his smoldering soggy coat. Now he was cold and his throught dry, his head light from smoke inhalation. Somwhere in his ming he regstered the unike sound of Slave 1's engines "now I'm alone" he muttered,"atleast I'm alive " The wound on his shoulder started throbbing soon after and he weezed with every breath, he ad a bad head ache he felt dizzy and he was cold. His vision got darker until everything appeared in fuzzy blurs and the sun set, He would be eaten after dark, he knew it, who knew what kind of monsters lurked in this god forsaken place. A Dark human shaped blur appeared infront of him he curled up afraid, but couldn't hold the fear, he just wanted help. "Hello there" Exclaimed a voice that could have been female or belonging to younger boy or off course of some other species. "help, burnt, cold" Boba managed to utter helplessly."Well I might think so" It said, obviously female if human at all. "here' it moved, boba felt threatened at first and curlud defensivly, but a strong warmth closed around him and unconciousness took him.I must be dead he though, but he slept easy know some how that he wasn't.

ok I'm gonna have to cut you off there people, but have no fear its just cause meeting a new chaacter deserves a fresh chapter.