How to Have an Amicable Relationship With Your Ex

It’s easier, legally speaking, for two people to become a couple, compared to a couple breaking apart in a divorce. Whatever the circumstances leading up to the split, even under the best of circumstances, there’s always emotional pain—even some lingering feelings of regret, uncertainty or heartache.

Some use this pain as a way to say “never again” to future legal unions. Others try to be more selective in choosing future spouses. The big question is what kind of relationship you’ll now have with your ex. This is easier said than done, especially if one was the wronged party.

But circumstances may come up where you’ll be encouraged to call a truce and appear unified. For instance, sharing joint custody will require mutual decision-making, or potentially attending parent-teacher conferences together.

Some experts say the boundaries can go even further and exes serve useful roles, while others say the break needs to be clean and swift otherwise it may prevent either person from moving on. Here are some ways we suggest to keep things civil and promote an amicable relationship between you and your ex.

Do: Get honest advice. Who better to give you a reality check than someone who knows you well and can “tell it like is.”

Do: Plan for your children’s future. Sharing joint-decision making will require collaboration on costs, discipline, and scheduling of school events.

Don’t: Be a buddy. Inviting them to social gatherings may be confusing to them and your peers—even though people will likely remark how nicely things are going.

Don’t: Discuss romance. If they’re still tender, they may not be delighted to learn that you found someone new. They also won’t want to hear about romantic failures.

Keep in mind individual circumstances may vary, and time can heal many wounds. I do hope these tips are helpful to you in your new family dynamic. If you or a loved one are in need of a fresh start, our legal team is here for you. Contact us at 888-228-1098 to schedule a confidential consultation today.

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I did my own divorce last year by using a do-it-yourself divorce service. It was the biggest mistake I made. I thought I was saving money but in the end it cost a lot more: less custody of my child and no support. I contacted Ms. Sahnan and she fought for more time with my son and got my my car back. Thank you!!
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