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Friday, 20 April 2018

How to Survive The Apocalypse.

It has finally happened, the apocalypse is here and you're sat thinking, "OK, What do I do now? How am I going to survive this"?

Lets cut to the chase shall we, the first thing you are going to have to come to terms with is that it has happened, this is not a video game, there are going to be no cashes of ammunition and guns lying round in random places and no, there will not be a fully stocked first aid kit in every other house you go into, your survival depends on you and you alone, there will be no respawn and no do over.

What ever the reason for this total shit storm of an apocalypse, whether it be a man-made nuclear winter we have just walked into, Zombies, Monkeys, Alien invasion, what ever it is, we need to get the mind-set that we need to Just Survive Somehow and we need to get it as a matter of priority.

Luckily I am here to give some advise on getting through the first few days. So here we go..

The Basics.
First thing we need to do is gather a few things together, Water, Caned food, blankets, medical supplies or a first aid kit if you just happen to have one, Sun glasses (No honestly, there is nothing worse than the sun being out and you not being able to see because the sun is in your eyes, there could be anything coming over that hill, and you wont be able to see it and you need to be prepared for that, even if it is not sunny, even if there is 25 gazillion feet of snow outside, snow blind. Sun glasses could be a life saver, they are not just to make you look good.

Weapons.
Your going to need some kind of weapon, personally I would go for a weapon that is light and will make no noise what so ever, a hammer with a good solid metal shaft, a hatchet with a metal shaft and handle or a machete.

baseball bats are OK but the wooden ones will tend to break in a pretty short amount of time if it is used often and an aluminium one will bend. Guns are out of the question because of the noise they make, even if you were to fit them with a silencer, ammo is finite and will run out. Adding to that, I live in England which means I don't have hunting stores on every other street corner.

A bow and arrows or a Cross bow, yes they are cool, and yes we could go all Daryl Dixon, they are quiet and we could make our own bolts or arrows but, you would have to be a bloody good shot to hit your target in the head and you will have to hope that the bolt does not break on impact. This is real life baby not an episode of The walking Dead.

Clothing.
I personally would go for a good strong pair of boots and clothes with pockets, lots of pockets, cargo pants, and a combat jacket or sorts, yes, you might end up looking like an Action man but it will be well worth it as you need to carry stuff around with you and you need to get to this stuff fast.
If you get that nasty booboo or paper cut on your finger you are going to have to get a band-aid as soon as possible, so what better place to have a small first aid kit or a couple of nastyplasts than in your pocket.
The next thing you are going to need is a bag to carry your gubbings around in, at this point I feel I should point out that the more stuff you put in your bag, the more stuff you will need to carry so Travel light!

Misc Items.

A wind up torch, having the best battery-powered torch in the world will be useless once the batteries run out and even a solar-powered torch requires sun light to charge, what happens if your stuck underground for days on end? Your super torch wont last more than a day or two. I would recommend this torch its tough, waterproof and can be either solar or crank charged.

Dont laugh but one of the most basic items you will need is a tin opener, you have no idea how important this little beastie will be, imagine a few weeks into the apocalypse, you're hungry and you happen across a tin of food but you don't have a tin opener, damn it. this affiliate link you can get two can openers like the ones in the picture for £5.50 inc postage and I get a nice little kick back as well).

I would highly 100% recommend getting a few of these tin openers pictured on the right, you can get them from any Army surplice stores as well as most decent camping shops, they are also available to order on line, they are small, light and can easily fit in your pocket or on a key chain (Heads up, if you click

It would also be advisable to make sure you have a sewing kit and fishing wire with you. You never know what you will need to repair and when. The last thing you will want is for one of the straps on your bag to give way.

Mobile phones. Chances are that the mobile phone networks will either be flooded with people trying to contact loved ones and family or they will be down so a mobile phone is your choice. If you feel that being able to play that last game of snake will keep you from giving up on everything then yes, go for it but, once again your phone battery will die at some point and you cant guarantee that your charging block will last for ever. You should also remember that carrying a dozen charging blocks for your phone will take up space which could be used for a more important item.

Shelter.
Finally we should talk about shelter. If said apocalypse is not a man-made one (Nuclear) then your next priority is shelter, you are gong to need somewhere safe to come back to, somewhere safe where you can hide until the crap blows over or those Aliens or zombies have moved a couple of blocks down the street.

The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks advises that your own home is the first best place to stay. If you do choose this option then you should disregard staying down stairs, gut the ground floor, barricade the doors and windows and stay on the 2nd floor, he also advises to destroy the stair case to make it harder for anything to get up to you This I would leave to you, its your choice, me personally, I would leave the stairs as is.

My priority would be shelter, food and weapons but not necessarily in that order.