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Thursday, May 5, 2011

Some Well Placed Capers

One of my favorite choices throughout this entire wedding process has been who I chose to do our ceremony. Neither Mike nor I are religious so we knew we didn't want a priest to do it. Once I'd heard that our close friend John had officiated at a wedding, I knew I had to snatch him up. Not only is he one of my favorite people on the planet, but I also knew he'd do an amazing job because of how creative, funny, and thoughtful he is. He kept what he was going to say a secret from us and I'm so glad he did. I was so surprised and touched by his words that it brought this cold little ice queen to tears during her ceremony.

I wanted to share what he said at our ceremony because it's so beautiful and I know I'm biased, but it was the best wedding ceremony I'd ever heard. Thank you so much John...we love you beyond words.

Opening Words:

I have come to believe that the marriage of two people is

neither the end of something or the beginning. I believe

that this moment marks the exact spot where both are

one in the same. The two of you have utilized truly

meandering paths and yet here you are on this day ready

to begin as one - your new life. After all, it is “The bad

things in life often open your eyes to the good things you

weren’t paying attention to before.”

I want to make clear that your future will have a great deal of; frustration, hurt, annoyance,

anger and worst of all fear--but the great news is that you don’t have to go through any of

it alone. This is why I challenge you to be very aware of what happens between the two of you

going forward - you will continue to celebrate this exciting day and monumentous step it

represents, but the real show will be when there is no one around – when it is just the two of you and possibly some well placed capers - and you realize that above being right, more important than being just, in fact greater than being popular – it is more important to love and be loved as you both do right now.

Victor Hugo once said; “The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”

Equally significant is the offering of Dr Suess, who reminds us; “You know you’re in love

when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

Now for my wise words... During an early conversation with my father in law I came

to this realization. With the countless hours we spend with co-workers, neighbors, close acquaintances how do you know when you have found “the one”? I think it is simple really. Find someone you like for who they are and if they like you back for who you are, then hold on – that may be your soul mate! After all, it has been said that, “Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.”

The Ceremony:

The weather of life can often be extreme and even dangerous. A good partnership, a

good relationship, a good marriage can be both a shelter from the stormy times and

a shining ivory tower when things are going well.

Please turn to each other.

Do you Mike take Valerie to be your wife? Do you promise above all else to be

honest with her and to communicate fully and fearlessly, to give your hand and

your heart, and create a home that is a sanctuary of warmth and understanding?

Do you pledge not just your love, but enduring devotion, faith and honor to Valerie?

Do you Valerie take Mike to be your husband? Do you promise above all else to be honest with him

and to communicate fully and fearlessly, to give your hand and your heart and create a home that

is a sanctuary of warmth and understanding? Do you pledge not just your love, but enduring

devotion, faith and honor to Mike?

The Commitment:

Mike-

By placing the traditional wedding band on Valerie’s finger you are making a loving promise to

work through the challenges, cherish the laughter and share all that you are an all that you will

be for as long as you both exist.

Valerie-

By placing the traditional wedding band on Mike’s finger you are making a

loving promise to be present for all that your life together has to offer, to be a true

counterpart and to share all that you are and all that you will be for as long as you

both exist.

As a husband and father I can say without a doubt that I truly believe the

enlightened words, “It takes a village to raise a child.” But long before this, it takes

two wonderful families and many good friends to foster a married couple.

Announcement:

Now that you have both announced your love and lifetime commitment to each other,

I therefore by the power vested in me by the Church of Spiritual Humanism, and the

State of California, and a very proud sister, pronounce you wife and husband. It is

my privilege to be the first to call you Mr. and Mrs. Giroux – you may now kiss each

other as husband and wife.

On behalf of the bride & groom I thank each of you for being here today and would