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Topic: Not Your Coasters (Read 6774 times)

I didn't actually say "I'm afraid that won't be possible", but it boiled down to the same thing.

A family member dropped by for a surprise visit, and I had been cleaning up a bit. Things that aren't normally lying around were out in plain view, one of which being a small tin of four drink coasters with cartoon characters on them.

This family member had his kids with him, one almost three and one a baby, and the toddler was playing with the coasters. I was fine with that; it kept her entertained, and there isn't much she could do to hurt those. When it was time for them to go, I told the toddler that it was "time to clean up", and she happily complied, putting the coasters back in the tin, one-by-one. Her father then said, "These are a little cartoony for you, aren't they? Why don't you let my kids have them?" He was serious.

I told him, "Because they're a collector's item, and I still use them." By this time the toddler was messing around with something else, and hadn't been paying attention to the conversation, so she wasn't upset by this. He let the matter drop, but he seemed annoyed. I was rather annoyed that he would ask for them, but nothing else came of it. My mom, who had been present the whole time but said nothing, thought I handled it well.

He'd have to go to ebay. I bought these eight or ten years ago. I'm not super stingy, and I don't care if kids play with my stuff as long as they're careful, but the stuff I've collected has sentimental value (part of my childhood, don'tcha know) and stays with me.

Him: "These are a little cartoony for you, aren't they? Why don't you let my kids have them?" He was serious.

You: "Did you really just ask me to GIVE you something I own? Does that work for you a lot? Because I would not dream of doing it, and the only reason I figure you are doing it is that it has paid off for you in the past."

(I cannot STAND the "it never hurts to ask" theory. It is stupid and juvenile and, like all generalizations, is untrue on its face.)

I used to have a neighbor whose maiden name had been that of one of the major cartoon companies (using a real name but not the exact same one). - we'll call her Jean KingStudios-Smythe. Her parents had collected vintage KingStudios memorabilia since she could remember.

Her kitchen had cartoon coffee cups, plaques & posters on the wall, floor mats, and dishes - her daughter's bedroom & bathroom were the same (different characters to reflect daughter's favorites) - cartoon character posters, bed spread, towels, and even house slippers. Living room had a lamp, a throw to go over the feet on chilly days, and a couple of framed & matted cels from the original cartoons.

Her Christmas tree had to be seen to be believed....

If her husband's brother had tried that line on her, she'd have roared with laughter because these were "family heirlooms" (I have no idea if the founder of the company was an uncle, great uncle, second cousin twice removed, or a coincidence that the names were the same....but the stuff was HERS and she loved it).

I don't understand this mindset of people who always need to "have, have, have". Can't they just say: "Hey, cool, person X has item Y. They even let me look at it/ let my kids play with it / etc. That's pretty neat for them that they have that."Why do they have to have everything for themselves.

And if they have to have it, well work for it and search for it and buy it. Don't just expect everyone else to hand out their property to you. What the heck?

(I cannot STAND the "it never hurts to ask" theory. It is stupid and juvenile and, like all generalizations, is untrue on its face.)

POD, POD, POD! I don't know where the idea that "it never hurts to ask" came from but it's just so.out.there for me to even think that you can ask almost any question and so long as you accept 'no', it's okay. Wha??

I don't get it, either. I might make a "This is neat" comment about something, but I wouldn't ask if I could have it, and would demur if it was offered. The coasters are back in my room now. I've never known this relative to be a thief, but we've had a few tiffs over the past couple years, and I'm having visions of the tin "accidentally" falling into the diaper bag sometime. But I know I'm being unfair and paranoid here.

(I cannot STAND the "it never hurts to ask" theory. It is stupid and juvenile and, like all generalizations, is untrue on its face.)

POD, POD, POD! I don't know where the idea that "it never hurts to ask" came from but it's just so.out.there for me to even think that you can ask almost any question and so long as you accept 'no', it's okay. Wha??

Agreed. There are things it's just not right to ask. "Can I have your stuff?" is typically one of them.