mash and trash

Closed for refurbishment (3): Apologize

If you feel guilt or shame, if you are the one who needs forgiveness, then apologize. But it’s not as simple as saying or thinking “I’m sorry.” Grab a pen and paper and write a full-blown apology, keeping the following in mind:

There is no excuse. Do not try to think of or offer one. An apology with an excuse is not an apology. Take full responsibility for what you did.

Make it a point to avoid using the word “but”. (“I am sorry, but…” means “I am not sorry.”)

Do not say “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry if you were offended” –it makes it seem like you are blaming the other person for feeling a certain way, and is not a real apology.

Think about what caused you to make the offense. Find the underlying problem, describe it to the person (as an explanation, not an excuse), and tell them what you intend to do to rectify that problem so that you can avoid this mistake in the future.