[The Listserve] Toasties Assemble

Since November 9, I've felt like I'm in a bad dream from which I can't wake. I'm so afraid of what will happen over the next few years. I have found some comfort in doing small things - sending mail, setting aside little bits of money to be able to help people.

My wife and I belong to the United Church of Christ - we were married there 5 years ago. If you’re ever in the Miami area and want to check out a church that takes action to make the world a better place, encourages you to think and examine your beliefs, and celebrates EVERYONE, regardless of age, race, language spoken, gender identity, sexual orientation, or theistic (or non-) inclination, I invite you to visit Coral Gables Congregational United Church of Christ. (We also have a really good choir.)

If you enjoy data and details, you might be interested in being a digital volunteer. Basically, you take handwritten (or other non-machine-readable) documents and transcribe them. There are many organizations that need this – the Smithsonian is one. The documents could be diaries, archaeological excavation records, birdwatching journals, maps, sounds, old menus, or geological images. Do a search for “digital volunteer transcription” or email me.

Here’s a bit of relationship (marriage, partnership, friendship) advice*
Part 1: You can endure anything for one second at a time - literally. Put your hand in a fire, step on a nail, hit yourself in the face; you can take it all for one second. Sometimes you just have to keep choosing to love your person for one second at a time, and that’s OK.
Part 2: Ask for acknowledgement, even for little things, even if they are your job, even if you feel like you shouldn’t need it. Examples: “I would like to be acknowledged for putting the dishes away…cleaning up the cat vomit…being impatient in the car but not yelling at you.” Better than a gold star.
*the above advice applies only to good relationships that you WANT to be in.

Shout out to my amazing wife Cristina, the love and light of my life for the past 11 years – I love you and can’t wait for the next 60 or so (70! 80! 90! who knows?). Thank you to the Toasties on Twitter and Slack for giving me a place to rage, cry, shout in all caps, gif like the world is ending, and celebrate; to drew for being awesome and giving me Joy and Rowan; to Hillary, for trying so hard, and never stopping raising your hand. #ImStillWithHer

Some places I love:
Lagusta's Luscious - in New Paltz, NYC, and online (best chocolate I've ever tasted)
Those Great Little Books - tiny bookbinders in Alberta, Canada, and online
Bluestockings Boutique - online (lingerie for everyone!)
The General Society of Mechanics and Tradesmen - in NYC

Books:
The Good Earth, by Pearl S. Buck (my favorite book of all time)
Lagoon, by Nnedi Okorafor
The Mezuzah in the Madonna's Foot, by Trudi Alexy
Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands, by Jorge Amado
The Royal We, by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan
Cry, Heart, But Never Break, by Glenn Ringtved
The Discworld series, by Terry Pratchett