Sunday, June 26, 2011

President Clinton, the Secret Service, and Me

One of my very favorite people of the famous variety is Bill Clinton. I know, I know, I can just hear my feminist friends screaming "But what about the Monica scandal?" Well, the way I look at it, he's not the first man who couldn't keep it in his pants, and he certainly won't be the last, but I digress from my story--which is about the time when I actually got to meet the former President.Let me say from the start that this is a true story. I have told some of you parts of this story, but I have never actually told the complete story to anyone, so here it is for the first time for you, my lucky reader.It began one day when I heard that the former President was on the campaign trail for his wife Hillary when she was trying to obtain the Democratic nomination for President. I realized that Bill was going to be in my very own county that very day. Quickly I began plotting how I could make my escape from work and go see him. I realized it was probably a once in a lifetime chance for me to meet one of the people I most admired.I managed to finagle my way out of work for a half day, debated about wearing my "Bill Clinton for First Lady" tee-shirt, and went straight to the Ag Center. I knew I would be early, but I was hoping that I could get a good viewing location. As it happened, I was one of the first people there and I got to stand in the FRONT ROW! Eventually President Clinton came on to the stage and spoke. I was mesmerized. I was within spitting distance of one of my idols! I was certain that he was staring directly at me at times as he spoke. And then, he was done. He walked off the stage and started going around the front row shaking hands. He was getting closer, closer, and finally, he was right in front of me. I gave him my biggest smile and shook his hand. I was so star-struck that I couldn't think of anything to say.When he finished greeting people, the Secret Service came around to gather items for Mr. C. to autograph. They explained that they would take the items backstage, he would sign it all, and then they would bring everything back to us. Since I was in the front row, a couple of people asked me to hand stuff to the Secret Service guys for them. "Sure," I said, being my usual courteous and kind self. So I had in my hands my Hillary for President campaign button, a book, and a tee-shirt. Before I knew what was happening, other people from the back of the crowd began piling stuff up into my arms . . . more books, a magazine, and even a motorcycle helmet ended up in my arms. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a voice barked, "Is all of that your stuff?" I jumped, peeked around the pile of items, and there he was again, one of the most powerful men in the country, President Clinton. I was going to say "No sir", but when I opened my mouth, somehow the word "Yes" came out. Oh shit, I just lied to the President! a voice inside my head screamed. "I'm not signing all of that stuff for an autograph hound!" he barked. The people behind me meekly stepped up and took all of their stuff back. In the meantime, 3 Secret Service guys (who were extremely hot, by the way) were standing around giving me the hairy eyeball. "Um, could you sign my campaign button please?" I managed to squeak out. He graciously agreed, I guess realizing that I wasn't an autograph hound after all.After it was all over, I went back to my car and couldn't stop grinning. I had actually shook Bill Clinton's hand! And I had taken tons of pictures and even got his autograph! And he talked to me! Well, actually he yelled at me, and maybe I'm on some Secret Service watch list now, but it was sure worth it, and I would definitely do it again if I ever had the chance.Oh, and President Clinton, if you're reading this, I forgive you for yelling at me. I still love you and think you would have been an awesome First Lady!