Darren Lynn Bousman directed Saw II, III, and IV, as well as Repo! The Genetic Opera, guaranteeing that he would be the butt of jokes on this site more than a few times, and probably for years to come. Truthfully, a Paris Hilton goth musical is easily number two on my list of things I never want to watch, just behind puppy snuff. That said, he was a guest on the Adam Carolla podcast this week, and not only was he quite candid, he had a hell of a story to tell about how he broke into the business.

After making some short films that all his friends in Florida told him were great, he moved to Hollywood, only to find out his shorts were actually quite sh*tty and get laughed out the office of everyone he showed them to. He spent the next eight years as a lowly production assistant, culminating in a stint as Tara Reid’s assistant on Van Wilder. That’s where this block quote picks up…

“So I became Tara Reid’s assistant. And it was always like “Darrell, Devin, Derrick” — she never knew my name, and my job was to like hold her cigarettes and Pepsi at all times. Eventually I was fired from that job. So finally I was like, ‘I’m going to write a script and I’m not going to stop until this thing gets made.’ And so I wrote this script, called The Desperate. I sent it out, no one would read it. Because you get in that Catch 22 in Hollywood, where you have to have [a script to get an agent, and you have to have] an agent or else no one will read the script.

“My way to circumvent that catch 22 was, I made up a fake management company. I even had letterhead made, and I had a friend of mine answer the phones. And so, I was an assistant at the time at an agency, and my job was to read the scripts that came in. And so I changed the title of my screenplay and made it by a different person. Then I had it come through this fake agency that I had created and I put a message out to all the other assistants, “This is the best f*cking thing I’ve ever read, have you guys read this?”

“And by that point, I had heat, because all the other people were like, “Oh, Darren read this thing, he thinks it’s great.” And long story short, this screenplay ended up getting bought by the people who made the Saw films.” [Check out the whole podcast here]

From there, through a combination of begging and promising to take a lower salary than anyone else, he managed to convince the people to let him direct the second Saw movie. It’s sad that it had to culminate in Repo! the Genetic Opera, because excluding that part, it’s a pretty awesome story. It’s kind of like telling how you won the state championship on a last-second, game-winning hail mary pass. But the quarterback of the opposing team had earlier dedicated the game to his little brother with cancer, who ending up dying distraught and confused just a few hours later. And all the doctors said it was the game that did it. But, you know, congrats, dude, you won.

Join The Discussion

Yes, to answer your question, I am still laughing at Burrito Vaughn every time.

05.06.10 at 2:34 pm

Morton Salt

I’m actually pretty uncritical with movies. Except for shitty rom-coms (Heigl) and “Tween” movies, I find something I enjoy in most flicks. What I find endlessly fascinating about the SAW movies is that with both of my wife’s pregnancies, she got addicted to watching these. Otherwise she doesn’t even watch horror, let alone gore. But when a fetus is growing inside her, she gets a craving for people gouging their own eyes out.

/serious

05.06.10 at 2:35 pm

Burnsy

He could have saved a lot of time by just sending a Koosh Ball to Paramount with a card that read: “MOVIE!”

05.06.10 at 2:43 pm

Jirish

Anyone else turned on?

05.06.10 at 2:46 pm

B.K.

I seriously just pontificated on Twitter today about how it would super suck to work really hard and be a decent enough person and then realize you’d just directed “Couples Retreat”. I mean, c’mon, Ralphie.

05.06.10 at 2:46 pm

Jacktion!

A Hollywood story would have ended with him directing The Desperate.

A story in Hollywood ends with him directing Repo! The Genetic Opera.

05.06.10 at 2:51 pm

B.K.

It honestly makes me wonder how people like Quentin Tarantino happen. Somehow Reservoir Dogs got made without “Drew Barrymore as Mr. Pink!”

05.06.10 at 3:03 pm

Donkey Hodey

I said it earlier, I’ll say it again now. ‘Saw’ is ‘Home Alone’ for assholes.

05.06.10 at 3:07 pm

Johns Little Dick

Too much effort Mr.Lynn. Everyone knows the way to a movie exec’s heart is cocaine hidden under your yamaka.

L’chaim faggot!

05.06.10 at 3:07 pm

Stone Soup

Yes, to answer your question, I am still laughing at Burrito Vaughn every time.

This.

05.06.10 at 3:11 pm

Donkey Hodey

Hey guys, I just got back from Wal-Mart and found this awesome 2-for-1 DVD combo pack! It has ‘Repo! The Genetic Opera’ and ‘Puppy Snuff Vol. 6′, for only five bucks. Somebody make some fucking popcorn; we’re staying in tonight!

05.06.10 at 3:13 pm

Crapbasket

I like how Frank Whaley’s character broke into the biz in Swimming with Sharks.

05.06.10 at 3:14 pm

Donkey Hodey

I tried lying my way into a Planet Hollywood once. I told them I was a very important food critic, but they said they didn’t give a shit because everybody already knows their food sucks.

05.06.10 at 3:14 pm

Crapbasket

Bullshit, I saw this very plot on an episode of iCarly.

05.06.10 at 3:15 pm

Moose

Hey Lance, you need to photoshop the food out of Vaughn’s hand and replace it with a smaller Vaughn. You’ll double your Vaughn output.

You could also replace it with Polanski or C-Tates.

05.06.10 at 3:16 pm

Johns Little Dick

Chicks have it easy. They just gotta show their boobs and spit wash some dudes Ferrari and they’re in.

05.06.10 at 3:20 pm

Crapbasket

This is kind of the same way Gilligan scammed his way into Ginger’s two hole.

05.06.10 at 3:24 pm

Stone Soup

This is how I got my Atari Trilogy script produced.

05.06.10 at 3:27 pm

Johns Little Dick

I was going to lie my way into Bollywood but it turns out all you need is a sack of curry and 2 goats.

05.06.10 at 3:31 pm

Crapbasket

Catch 22?! Was this guy reading Allan Wiesenheimer’s books or something? Did he get weary? Did he treaten a PA?