Rebounds – we’ve all had them. A rebound relationship can be a great (but unfair) way to move on from someone, particularly if that breakup really messed with us. However, a rebound relationship can backfire and leave you in a worse place than before on so many levels. First, you’re leading on someone who might be perfectly decent, loving, and really into you. You’re using an innocent for selfish means, whether it’s trying to make your ex jealous, show your ex that you’re “winning” by moving on so fast, or trying to soothe your own loneliness without true emotional investment. How would you feel if you found out that the person you’re dating and really like is only with you to show up his ex? Maybe he even likes you as a person, not just as an end to his means, but he thinks about his ex when he takes you out to dinner, he wishes it was his ex’s hand that he’s holding when he holds yours, and he wants it to be her that he’s falling asleep with – not you.

If you haven’t gotten over someone yet, your new relationship won’t be able to thrive. How could it thrive if you’re constantly keeping tabs on your ex? You’re kissing your new beau but your mind is fixated on the picture your ex got tagged in with someone attractive. If your body is here, but your heart is elsewhere, this relationship can’t work. You’ve got one foot on the train but the other foot is still on the platform – decide where you want to go.

2. “Playing the game”

This is one of the most pervasive, blatant, obnoxious, destructive, annoying, stupid, and hindering aspects of dating today. Playing the game. So many pointless rules that only frustrate yourself, your potential partner, and serve no purpose. Everyone is caught up in a vain and self-defeating contest to see who can care less – if he takes X minutes to response to your text, you have to wait X+10 minutes to reply to him; you can’t call her until at least two days after your date to show that you’re not desperate and that you have a life; you can’t double text even if you really want to talk because then you look clingy and like you have nothing better to do; you’re “talking/hanging out/a thing.” It’s an endless contest to “win” by showing that you care less than them. And you wonder why you can’t find and hold a good, strong relationship?

It’s a frustrating cycle that leaves both of you dry and waiting – if you waited 10 minutes to respond, he’s going to take 15, so then you take 20, and on and on – so ask yourself, what is the point? Does it really matter it you respond right away instead of staring at your phone and waiting for the minutes to pass until it’s “okay” to respond? Maybe you’ll actually have a real conversation with good back-and-forth if you just respond when you see his messages. Sure doesn’t seem like “winning” if you’re losing the opportunity to create and explore a meaningful relationship because you’re busy following the rules of today’s inane dating game.Continue reading >

The gentle sensation of soft lips pressing against your sleepy neck and trailing down your shoulder, the warm feeling of your partner’s mouth embracing yours. Comfort, closeness, and care in the form of kisses to ease a sleepy partner awake. No jarring alarms to begin the day with a twinge of annoyance. Start the day instead by stirring your sweetie to consciousness tenderly and lovingly, letting them wake up slowly to a feast of attention, affection, and love.

2. Tuck them in again

Many of us have the sorry situation of needing to wake up earlier than our partners – the groggy, unwilling lift of the comforter and the cold march to the shower. Meanwhile, our partners may or may not wake up when we get out of bed, sleepily blink a “good morning” to us, and spend a lucky extra hour back in dreamland. For those of us that need to wake up earlier than our sleeping beauties, give them a dose of affection when you wake up. Before you go shower, take some time to make them more comfortable – make their extra hour of sleep even more enjoyable. Wrap the blankets around them and cover the ankle that crept outside the comforter while they slept. Stroke their cheek and fluff their pillow. Make a blanket burrito out of them if they enjoy being wrapped up in warm, cozy blankets. It’ll warm up both of you emotionally and give you something to feel good about as you start your early day.Continue reading >

It is a deeply moving thing to hear – you meant so much to them and were such a positive influence that you pushed them to become a better person. They wanted to become a better person for you, and they became a better person because they met you. You gave their life new meaning and purpose. When they hear these words, they’ll have a sense of responsibility for loving you that gets validated and a feeling of humble honor as they think about all the ways you’ve improved their lives, too.

2. “I have never loved you more and I will never love you less than I do in today.”

This is a classic love quote, but take a moment to really consider what it signifies. My love for you grows each day. I love you more than yesterday, but less than I will love you tomorrow. Every day, I fall more and more in love with you. It lets them know that every day, they make you happier and happier and you find new things about them that make you love them even more. The more time you spend together, the more reasons you find to be grateful for having them as your partner. Your love deepens as time go by.

3. “The moment that I realized I loved you was when….”

You know you love each other, and you know that you fell in love somewhere along the way. Take some time to tell your sweetie when it was that you realized that you fell in love. It doesn’t have to a specific moment – for many people, it was a sudden realization one day that it had already happened. Tell them about that day. If there was a specific moment, your partner will feel touched to hear it and you’ll both reflect fondly to the beginning of your love.Continue reading >

This gift is quick and simple. Cut up a pretty sheet of paper into many strips. Write down your favorite memories as a couple and reasons why you love them. Roll those babies up into tight little scrolls and get to your nearest party supply store. Go to the balloon counter and choose a bunch of balloons, but before you fill them up with helium, slide in a love note inside each balloon. Either let them loose inside your living room or give the balloon bouquet to your sweetie and make sure they bring them inside at the end of the night. Give them a pin and tell them to pop the balloons for a shower of love notes.

2. Sexy selfie collection

Go to the drugstore and get a disposable camera. You know, the Kodak kind that you took on your 5th grade trip to the zoo. Doll yourself up, throw on something scandalous, and have yourself a sultry photo shoot. These pictures can range from seductive to all-out XXX – your choice! Get them developed at a 1-hour photo place and put them in an innocuous manila envelope. Slide it over to your lover at dinner.Continue reading >

Ladies, it’s time to treat yourself and your man. The silky satins and the luxurious laces that make you feel beautiful have the benefit of making your lover very aware of what a goddess he is with. Treat yourself to an indulgent little shopping spree at your favorite lingerie shop. On Valentine’s Day, perhaps before you go out for dinner, treat your man to a spectacular one-woman fashion show. Throw on the heels you feel most confident in and sit your fella down on the bed. Put on some sexy diva music to get you feeling like a vixen. Watch his jaw drop as you keep emerging from the closet or bathroom in a scandalous negligee that highlights your elegant décolletage or a matching set that emphasizes your ample curves. On second thought, maybe you should postpone this show until after dinner – otherwise, you might miss your reservation.

2. Make like teenagers and go make out

It’s time to throw it back to the days of yore. The hormonal teenage days of frenzied kisses before your dad opened the door, the eager nights of scouting for a dark parking lot in which you’d release your adolescent amorousness – oh, the memories of being young and in lust. Drive around. Be sixteen again and look for a parking spot that’s dark and discreet enough for you to go fool around in the backseat. As adults, we tend to go on autopilot and get right down to the entrée. Be teenagers again and feel the thrill of locking lips and letting hands roam. Feel free to let things go further. After all, there’s no curfew to worry about this time.Continue reading >

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