Andy Dawson, otherwise known as Profanity Swan on Twitter , was soaking up all the action this weekend and has picked out ten things we didn't know three days ago.

Here's what he's picked up...

1) Spurs started well against Manchester City yesterday

For the first two or three seconds, they looked more than comfortable. After that, not so much.

2) Artur Boruc should be on Strictly

His improvised soft shoes shuffle with Olivier Giroud was mesmerising. Imagine how good he’d be with some proper training.

Artur Boruc Instagram (Image: Artur Boruc/Instagram)

3) West Ham are not Spain

Playing with a strikerless formation was sexy and successful for the Spanish at Euro 2012. For Sam Allardyce’s lads, it’s not working – they’ve got the third lowest scoring tally in the Premier League.

4) Andy Carroll is never coming back

Some facts. One - the Hammers’ main goal threat injured his foot in September. Two – he is being treated for the injury in Amsterdam. Three – he’s never coming back.

5) Carlton Cole is too busy fighting trolls to do the business on the pitch

6) Gunnersaurus possibly needs to be on some kind of register

MOTD2 footage of the Arsenal mascot cuddling a female fan for just a little bit longer than felt right made for a some very uncomfortable viewing.

7) Alan Shearer has finally stopped raging against the dying of the light

He’s finally admitted that hair loss has beaten him and is now sporting a ‘Geordie Ross Kemp’ look. Gone right up in our estimation as a result.

8) Paul Lambert is in getting into the trash-talking game

Ahead of tonight’s derby he’s stoked the fires with ‘I haven't been at West Brom or managed the club but Aston Villa, for me, is a bigger club. It's a club that's won a European Cup, league titles, has a massive fan-base and has a bigger stadium.’?

If that’s not sledging, we don’t know what is.

9) Tony Pulis is a culture-killer

No real surprise, given his history as Stoke boss, but he guided his incumbent Palace side to a win against a Hull City dizzy from celebrating their City of Culture win. Using only the power of his mind. And all that without having his cap on.

10) We can all learn from Gus Poyet’s anger management technique

As Wes Brown was sent off, the Sunderland boss clearly wanted to grab referee Kevin Friend and thrown him over the Britannia Stadium roof. But no – instead he just violently removed his own coat. Admirable.