They should not display their beauty

A handful of other girls in hijab and jeans or hijab and long skirts dot the playground, some laughing out loud, some whispering quietly among friends. They are free. It’s recess time.

∗ ∗ ∗

The five teenage girls gathered around the oval table in a conference room at Hoover High represent a range of Muslimah (female Muslim) styles. Habiba (the only one of the five who chooses not to reveal her real name) wears a lavender masar, a black long-sleeved shirt, and a full lavender skirt. She says there’s no real reason her scarf isn’t tucked under her chin like Safiya’s across the table, except that, without a pin to hold in place, it’s annoying to keep tucking and retucking it all day long.

The sleeves of Safiyah’s brown (and slightly snug) button-up top reach only to her elbows. By most standards, she’s covered and clearly modest, but when I ask if her bare forearms are considered risqué, she grins with embarrassment and pulls at the sleeves, as if to will them longer. Only Hanifo, the quiet freshman in the dusky-blue waist-length hijab and the pale-blue skirt, would likely meet with the full approval of her mother.

Amina is the one girl in the room whose head is not covered. She’s the dramatic type, dominating most of the conversation with stories about her sisters and various cousins and occasional attempts to one-up Safiya’s clear intellectualism with confusing explanations of the hows and whys of Islam for girls. Though she claims to love answering the questions of strangers about why Muslim women wear hijab, she struggles with that answer here and now.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” she says after a fumbled attempt at clarity. “It’s because of my religion.” This confusion might explain why so much of what she says she’s “supposed” to do is exactly the opposite of what she’s doing now.

“I’m not supposed to dress like this,” she says, indicating the plaid shirt with the top button secured just above her cleavage and the almost form-fitting, long, satiny skirt. “I’m supposed to wear clothes that don’t show my body shape. Because of the guys. So I don’t get the guys’ attention. That’s what we believe.”

Later, she remembers a play she saw at San Diego State University where a woman made the point that covering one’s head is not mandatory for Muslim women.

“She said it’s a choice,” Amina says incredulously. “But I believe it’s a ‘have-to’ even though I’m not wearing it.”

Safiya agrees. “It is a ‘have-to.’”

“Yeah,” says Habiba at the same time that Fadumo says, “It is.”

Although these girls believe that covering their hair is mandatory, each of the five remembers making the decision to wear the hijab on their own. Habiba wanted to wear one because her friends at Birney Elementary did. Fadumo said she was envious that her big sister wore one, so she asked her mother to buy her one too.

Safiya says she was proud to wear hers “because it’s part of who I am.” The only problem she had with other children at school was once when two girls ganged up on her, and one told the other to pull off Safiyah’s hijab. Neither girl dared to.

Amina pipes in, “When I was seven years old, people used to say, ‘Why do you have that?’ They used to question me. They’d say, ‘Take that towel off your head’ and stuff like that.”

The girls agree that despite a minor incident or insult here and there, kids in elementary school were mostly curious. In middle school, however, they became cruel.

“Middle-schoolers are the worst,” says Safiya.

“Ignorant,” says Habiba.

“Middle school was definitely the hardest,” confirms Fadumo.

The worst of it, they say, was the daily questions they had to answer, such as “Do you wear that in the shower?” and “Is that a tablecloth on your head?” Insults disguised as ignorance.

And then there was “Aren’t you hot?” mocks Safiya.

Every one of them groans. Two roll their eyes.

“It’s super thin,” says Habiba, clearly over the whole thing. Duh.

I don’t tell them that nearly every non-Muslim I’ve spoken to about hijab has wondered the same thing.

Not always, though. During freshman year, a friend pulled off Fadumo’s hijab in the middle of class, in front of a bunch of boys.

“They were, like, ‘Can I see your hair?’ and I was, like, ‘No, you can’t see it. It’s against my religion to show you my hair.’ And there were a lot of guys in the class,” Fadumo says. “I was, like, ‘I can’t show you my hair,’ so she came behind my back and she pulled [my hijab] off.”

The rest of the girls give their full attention to this story, and when Fadumo stops there, Amina asks, “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do nothing because she was my friend.”

The teacher called Fadumo out of the class and said she could have the girl suspended. Fadumo said not to worry about it and accepted an apology from the friend instead.

Somewhere in the middle of our discussion, Fadumo and Habiba begin a side conversation about celebrities who are rumored to have converted to Islam. Chris Tucker’s name comes up. Former bad-boy rapper Loon is mentioned as well.

And this takes us off into a new direction. From this point on, they don’t care so much for my questions about hijab. There are more pressing matters at hand, such as why it’s supposed to be a sin to talk or text with a member of the opposite sex. None of these girls like the idea of arranged marriage, and they can’t comprehend how they’re supposed to fall in love when they can’t even get to know someone first.

They break down some of the rules they’re supposed to follow: no sex before marriage and no alcohol; no nail polish unless you have your period because you can’t pray then anyway; no perfume, at least not so much that boys will be attracted to you; no holding a grudge for more than three days.

Comments

You reduce this to female competition. Shame on you. And I do realize that this was the point of your story. To show that women dress for women. To use the hijab as you weapon of choice is conceited and shallow and EASY. You want to get stared at? Try something less exposing. Hubba hubba my ass.

Having spent some time in the MiddleEast, I asked a number of Arab women if they resented wearing the Hijab. Their reply? A hardy laugh followed by this answer "Why should we resent it? Look at our sun. Because of the hijab, our skin is flawless, beautiful. Why should we want to have wrinkly skin like you American women?" They also pointed out that their "husbands can take a second, third or fourth wife, so it is important to stay lovely for as long as possible."

They also pointed out that their "husbands can take a second, third or fourth wife, so it is important to stay lovely for as long as possible

i don't consider it foreign dress but cultural and religious dress so i would have no right to judge it in any way...it does make the curious take notice... as far as i'm concerned it's singularly unattractive and i would think uncomfortable as well

so many of the rituals of dress and behavior of middle eastern women seem suppressive to me...meant not always to protect but to envelope their bodies as well as their minds in a kind of hidden state that makes them unapproachable and therefore always separate and unable to assimilate into a new culture

perhaps that's what is meant to occur...that separateness even tho these women live here in America...it saddened me somehow

If I was a female (I'm not), then I'd be worried that sooner, rather than later, more women World-Wide will be "urged" to conform as more and more men decide that women should again, be hidden away, especially as the job market gets much tighter...

Any woman that does not want to show any part of their body is OK by me
but
to be required or allowed to "hide" from the outside "public" World (by being completely covered) is a security issue that should not be allowed... Do what you wish in your own home, but in public be visible like everyone else.
+
I would not want veiled people driving and think that anyone driving should be required to not wear any "headgear" that limits their peripheral vision...

Let me point out that here in the West, we are also required to "cover up". It too is rooted in religious beliefs. Why else did our Americans missionaries insist that the Hawaiians cover their bodies? And, if today the citizens of those beautiful islands chose to return to walking around bare breasted and surfing nude, would we allow it?I think not. As for equal rights...please, how many women here, receive the same amount of money for the same amount of work. Be it Muslim or Christian, we women are still struggling for equal rights.
Note to Elizabeth Salaam. Thanks for a wonderful story, it was so insightful.

"Equal pay and bikinis have nothing to do with it" sounds like a judgment to me. One I respectfully disagree with. But my point was that different cultures come from different histories, and mostly, Middle Eastern, Asian and African countries have been on the receiving end of our wealth-backed values, whether it's short skirts or the consumer society's excesses. Maybe it's time we looked to them with respect to see what we can learn, rather than assuming we have all the answers. I learned a lot from Ms. Salaam's excellent story.

"Maybe it's time we looked to them with respect to see what we can learn, rather than assuming we have all the answers."

France has banned the wearing of the hijab in their country. What the French have said is that this is not out of disrespect toward Middle-Eastern countries, but more out of respect for France and French culture. Should French culture offend the just-under 10% Muslim population in France, the French recommend that the Muslim population repatriate at their convenience.

I do not find this as a judgement, I find it as a reality that many Americans are afraid to broach.

I believe that the USA will follow the French rather than cave in like the British!

Can you imagine some group starting a religion where folks "must" wear giant "hoop" skirts or "bio-garb" type outfits because it "insulates" them and then they demand that everyone redesign everything to accept them in their own expanded personal space?

Public Safety for all, trumps individual freedom in public!

I think it is ironic that the religious garb from the Middle East has also been used to "hide" by the very folks that terrorize the public.

Do what you wish in your own home, but don't expect the Public to adopt or approve of your dress code in Public; especially if it allows you to hide your identity!

This story, sadly, never seemed to get below the surface. I am amazed the writer did not ask the most simple, obvious question to the women she spent time with: "How do you feel about following ancient religious rules that were written entirely by men, for the benifit of men, and to ensure that women are treated as less than human?" Also, full covering one's face, or even partially, robs you of your most human trait, expressiveness. Why women willingly keep themselves in servitude like this is fairly clear: fear.

"How do you feel about following ancient religious rules that were written entirely by men, for the benifit of men, and to ensure that women are treated as less than human?"

Actually, the hijab and veil and so on were tribal traditions. The Quran only recommends modesty, that women keep their bodies covered in public so as not to be harassed. It uses a word that translates to "veil" for covering the breats, and a word that translates to "cloak" in another passage. No where in the Quran does it order that women keep their faces covered in public.

Taken in the context it was written in the Quran, it appears as a message that women should avoid being harassed or ridiculed in public by the way they dress. There is a similar passage concerning men. Then, in many countries, wearing the hijab would certainly accomplish that mission because so many women dress in that manner. However, in the United States, the wearing of a hijab would have the exact opposite intent of any religious pretext it is meant to enforce.

"If I was a female (I'm not), then I'd be worried that sooner, rather than later, more women World-Wide will be "urged" to conform as more and more men decide that women should again, be hidden away, especially as the job market gets much tighter..."

Founder, it ain't gonna happen. There is no way that women in the world-wide work-force are just going to throw up their hands and say "gee, the men are deciding for us that we should all be unemployed and wearing burqas, so I guess I'm in". What are they going to do? Declare war on women? Wishful thinking on some parts, but women are only gaining power, not losing it. It's a constant struggle, but one that will eventually be won. I am not the least bit worried.

Refried, its original intent may have been somewhat benign, but as women began to get educations, own property, etc., it was perverted to satisfy threatened males and continues to be so to this day. If I lived in a society that had the authority to throw acid in my face if I left the house in a state not appropriate according to my male relatives, I would arm myself.

I can't believe my "breasts" typo. You're sort of making my point, Ms. Grant. In other words, it seems to have become a perversion, especially in the West. One comment hinted that it was a religious thing, and even the story comments thusly:

"Say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof." (Qur’an 24.31)

Now let's make it more contextual, and examine the verse before it:

"Say to the believing man that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that will make for greater purity for them; and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do." (Qur’an 24.30)

And while we're at it, let's not leave out the tail-end of verse 24.31 which does not end with "thereof":

"; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands..."

Basically, it is instructing men not to be perverts and women not to provoke such behavior and to save their "beauty" (which is ambiguous in context) for their husbands.

In another verse, this is mentioned:

"Those who harass believing men and believing women undeservedly, bear (on themselves) a calumny and a grievous sin. O Prophet! Enjoin your wives, your daughters, and the wives of true believers that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad). That is most convenient, that they be distinguished and not be harassed..." (Qur’an 33.58-59)

Basically, it is instructing Muslims to wear clothing that will not subject themselves to harassment by non-believers. There's one more passage that reads similar to the first that uses the word "cape" but I can't find it at the moment. Anyway, that's the idea.

Here's a bit of info inspired by Mrs. Salaam's story and refriedgringo's interesting additions.

The tradition of veiling and seclusion (known together as hijab) was introduced into Arabia long before Muhammad, primarily through Arab contacts with Syria and Iran ,where the hijab was a sign of social status. Only a woman who need not work in the fields could afford to remain secluded and veiled.

There was no tradition of veiling until around 627 C.E., when the so-called “verse of hijab” suddenly descended upon the community. That verse, however, was addressed not to women in general, but exclusively to Muhammad’s many wives:
“Believers, do not enter the Prophet’s house…unless asked. And if you are invited…do not linger. And when you ask something from the Prophet’s wives, do so from behind a hijab. This will assure the purity of your hearts as well as theirs”
When Muhammad become the supreme leader of an increasingly expanding community, some kind of segregation had to be enforced to maintain the inviolability of his wives. For this reason, during the Prophet’s lifetime, no other women observed hijab.

No one knows for sure when the veil was adopted after the Prophet's death, but most Muslim women began wearing it as a way to emulate the Prophet’s wives, who were revered as “the Mothers of the Ummah.” And the veil was not compulsory until a large body of male scriptural and legal scholars began using their religious and political authority to regain the dominance they had lost in society as a result of the Prophet’s egalitarian reforms.

Muppy (and really, anyone), another interesting read concerning the hijab and Muslim tradition in general and what is perceived as Western culture's attempt to ban it, can be uncovered in the Turkish revolution. It was one of the steps that Mustafa Atatürk took in order to attempt to seperate a system of Islamic judiciary rule in order to promote a secular Turkey. Obviously, he encountered much difficulty with this attempt, as Muslim chieftains enjoyed great autonomy and influence and wealth and, well, many wives under the Caliphate.

Atatürk eventually managed to abolish the Caliphate in Turkey but the sons and grandsons of the chieftains and their tribal influences in Turkey remain to this day.

Thanks, refried and muppy. It really is an interesting subject. I can understand how it became symbolic of status, and even as a fashion statement (most Muslim women began wearing it as a way to emulate the Prophet’s wives), and also as a protective device to ward against the unwanted attention of non-believers. I am still left questioning its value in today's world. I'll go back and re-read the article with a more open mind.

16...Muppycat u brought up equal pay and bikinis...not me...i said no religious or cultural judgements

ur intentions here seem to be to do battle with the opinions of others who don't agree with yours...which is a shame because u r derailing the comments into the "tit for tat" area out of the shades of grey into black or white only

I think it has negative value in parts of the world where the vast majority do not wear such clothing. And I certainly don't think it's unfair to consider that in parts of the world where the vast majority wear such clothing that this is mandated by forces wishing to control society.

Nan, I thought we were having a discussion. Isn't that what sharing opinions is all about? Thesis, antithesis, synthesis. Mrs. Salaam wrote a fascinating story, stimulating discussion and comments from the READER's readers. Let's just enjoy the to and fro.

everyone that is an American citizen should go out and learn the history and the current social issues in these middle eastern Countries. These women go though old 12th century torture. Truely sad.

I dont mind some of these head dresses but i do have a problem when some women say that they will not take if off for drivers license pics and etc. To me it is a matter of safety.
If a women walks in a store and is wearing something that covers her face isnt it just like a bank robber that would wear a mask.?
So i see it as a security issue.

Founder is spot on re travel and religious doctrine. However, if a woman must travel alone into a conservative Arab country, then wear a pashima or wide & long silk scarf. It's the only answer, as for clothes like bathing suits (Nan, no where in my texts did I write "bikinis")two piece ones should be left at home. Adding on to Founder's info, watch the film CAIRO TIME starring Patricia Clarkson. Gives you a clear idea what a woman might expect if visiting a more liberal country like Egypt or Qatar.

Female repression in the name of Mohammad. Wonderful. Going to the beach must be fun while their male companions run around in marble bag swimsuits and strut their stuff. You can tell how bad certain religions are by how badly they repress their females. Islam definitely pegs the "Suck-o-meter".

I guess bikinis with drawings of Mohammad would be a definite fashion no-no, and would probably result in beheading.....

He was wearing a bright white Thobe under his Bisht, with a red & white checkered Ghutra as he discussed what he considered appropriate dress for one his wive's, when she was allowed outside the home. For some reason, he was not happy with her Chador/Hijab combination or perhaps it was because she was wearing the Burqa instead of the Abaya; but who knows what she really thought, because sadly, her response was hidden from all.

I think that anybody who even thinks that there is a beautiful face hiding behind that veil would probably also fall for the Nigerian 419 Scan. That is why the martyrs get 72 virgins. Out of 72, you might find one you can look at without the veil. Maybe not.

this is so strange...i was at hospital yesterday in the Emergency Room and saw two woman with veils...someone asked me what i thought of it and i just answered that in this country covered faces have nearly always signified some kind of criminal activity would be soon occurring

"like the hold up guys covering their faces with kerchiefs"

i guess our culture has been indoctrinated for years with that picture of "badness is about to happen"...it's an instant knee jerk reaction

As a muslim-American, I find this string rather interesting.. I did not know much about Islam as I grew up in a Methodist (and Lutheran) household and chose Taoism and went to a Quaker school, so I used to know nothing of the women "behind the veil". Now, I choose to cover my hair - but not my face - and little old ladies are scared of me at the bus stop!

Egad. Did I really change so much? Is my surfer-girl accent or outgoing personality not coming accross in my bright blue 'cover' or jean skirt? Well I am sorry if this country based on freedom (of religion - hello!) says that I should not dress how I want - if there is a safety concern, then I go through the same process as everyone else. You can pat me down (carefully) or walk me through a metal-detector - if you are scared of me still, then someone is winning; not you, not me.

Virtue is bold, and goodness never fearful. - William Shakespeare, 1564 - 1616

try walking around in Egypt, turkey, morocco , the Arab Muslim part of the globe. it's bloody hot, sunburnt heads, men and women in long robes with head scarves or pieces, Easter day in alexandria families at the beach, strolling along the boardwalk, young people in traditional dress holding hands sitting on the sea wall. my friends dress for the occasion- also wear traditional dress, I actually see it as charming sorry. passing judgement on other cultures using western values is like someone hiring me to build their house, I don't believe for a second I have the right to tell anyone, anywhere how to believe, how to dress, how to think. I always try very hard not to shoot my mouth off about things that I really have no knowledge of, particularly sine I'm a traveler and the reason I love travel embraces and is fascinated by the unique features of different cultures. it's bad enough seeing McDonald's in every country - I say if you haven't lived it, seen it, touched it, then get on with your life.