I have known for several months that I would be writing this column, and dreading the thought of it.

A few months ago, I wrote about Alissa, a friend of my 7-year-old daughter, who had been battling brain cancer. After fighting for seventeen months, Alissa lost that battle last week.

With Allyson being my fourth child, it often feels like there are very few things we haven't experienced on some level with one of the other kids. But, nothing could prepare us as a family for the loss of a 7-year-old friend, as, thankfully, we had not experienced this before.

Of course, every child is a blessing, but even before she was sick, Alissa had that “something special” about her. Her smile, her sweet nature, her outlook on life will never be forgotten.

We have been preparing Allyson for Alissa’s passing for months. Several months ago, a friend told me about a service offered by Hospice of San Angelo, called anticipatory grief therapy. I had never heard of this before, but I am so glad my friend recommended it, and we followed through.

Every few weeks for the past several months, Allyson has been spending time with a grief therapist.

They played, talked about Alissa, talked about cancer, talked about Allyson’s fears. It was wonderful, because it got us talking about things I might not have thought to talk about.

Allyson has looked forward to meeting with “Ms. Melissa” on the dates we marked on the calendar. Ms. Melissa is a friend that Allyson can trust, and a “safe place” to talk about Alissa.

A few days before Alissa passed, Allyson had finished working on a picture for her, and Ms. Melissa brought it to Alissa’s house.

It brought Allyson great joy to know that Alissa got her picture. At that last session, before Alissa passed away, Ms. Melissa was able to talk to Allyson about what we all knew was happening.

While I don’t know that anything could prepare a child for the death of a friend — and Allyson was still surprised when the time came — she had a greater understanding of death, and we were able to have a deeper conversation as a result of the therapy she received from HOSA.

Now, the therapy changes, as starting this week, Allyson’s sessions with Ms. Melissa will consist of a more traditional grief therapy.

Losing a child in our community is always sad, but it has been heartwarming to see San Angelo come together in honor of Alissa.

The teachers and staff at Bowie Elementary have been especially impressive, attending events, making Alissa feel special, and just being there for her and her family.

They are in the process of raising money to place a “Buddy Bench” in memory of Alissa on the playground, where kids who feel lonely can sit, and other kids will know they need a friend.

Bowie students came home with a note saying they can bring spare change to contribute, so it can be “their” bench. This is the perfect memorial to Alissa, as she would have been the first child to go to someone who was lonely on the playground.

Hopefully that bench will help kids at Bowie remember their special friend. Perhaps they will come back to visit Bowie as a senior in high school, or maybe later, see a child sitting on that bench, sit down with them, and tell them about a special little girl named Alissa.