March 21, 2015

snippets of grace

"Good means I never mess up. Good means I weigh the perfect amount. Good means I can handle everything. I don't look like a foll and I never lose my patience...Good means I am enough. My goodness is all about me." - Emily Freeman

Do you ever get tired of trying to be good? I do. Of living with checkmarks and rules that you measure by?

My goodness is all about me - ouch that hurts! When I try to be good, it's me. It's my measure up. Not about God.

"When we believe that God expects us to try hard to become who Jesus wants us to be, we will live in that blurry, frustrating land of Should Be rather than trust the One Who Is."

For years, I lived as a "try hard good girl". I believed in Jesus, I loved Jesus. But I had an image I created (by the standards, opinions and thoughts of others) that made me work hard. Mistakes were not included. I wanted to live in God's grace but I worked for it.

I longed to live in the freedom and joy that Jesus speaks of. But I still clamored on seeking to live this life perfectly. I still strove to be a good Christian girl. (to be honest, I strove to be a perfect Christian girl cause that's what others wanted, right?)

This was not God's desire for my life...

"But Jesus is calling us to a deeper, truer, freer identity. All he wants is simply you - minus your good works, minus your perfect attendance, minus your politeness. When you really believe that, you may discover that all you want is Jesus, simply Jesus. Not just to get to heaven or to help you be a good person or do the right thing, but to simply love and be loved by Him."
To love and be loved by Him. Love. Rest. Trust.

Jesus had a lovely, freeing picture that He was offering to me....and the journey to be fully alive in His grace continues. It's a long journey but these beginnings give hope of a beautiful picture.

The thoughts were inspired by quotes from the book Grace for the Good Girl (Emily Freeman) - read it!