Saturday, August 6, 2011

I had been meaning to write this post for like a week now. Kept pushing it off and off and you know how that goes. I love blogging I do! I just wish I was able to write better and have better quality photos to share! That would mean I would need a new digitial camera! Hint..my 24th (ahhh!) birthday is in 14 days!!! So if any of you fellow bloggers wanna chip in and send this awesome a decent camera, Id love you forever! ;) jk! I have my Iphone which takes pretty good pictures but i have seen other peoples work and boy is it beautiful!

Speaking of birthdays-AUGUST is full of them! I have in order, my best friends mothers birthday, the 13th, my mothers the 18th, MY birthday AND besties 24th birthday on the 20th, my dear friend Laura's on the 27th, and my nephew on the 30th who will be ONE! Talk about wishing there were such a thing as money growing on tree$!!! I have lots to shop for very soon! I ALSO have a beautiful little girl named Sadie Marie's FIRST birthday to plan. Yes, I know its like a month or so away you must be thinking you plan months ahead of time. But me, I am very low on mula :(. Its embarassing. And my damn wishful thinking that some miracle will happen with me winning big on the lotto, well I mise well kiss goodbye! I have had NO money coming in since April 24, 2009. Since the unexpected emergency with my first daughter Naomi. I have babysat and cleaned here and there but thats just not enough to hold on to. I must admit, i have a VERY bad spending habit. It is so sad and scary. I can not hold on to anything for the hell of me. It is actually getting me worried. I have SO much I need to do--save up for my own car, one day SOON i hope to move the he-- out of here, and be able to support my daughter and i, be able to not worry if my account has money. Just very sad and I need to get with the program! Yes my parents help out to an extent, but cant forever. I dont want that either. I want to provide everything and do for me! Anyways--off topic here! So yes, I am thinking of maybe a get together at my house with friends and family. Dont know what theme just yet. Maybe butterflies and rainbows since she is my rainbow baby?! We shall see! I just wish I had money to go big! :( i know they dont know or remember anything but the first is the first cant get that back!

Wanna hear something mean and messed up?! One day a week or two ago I was taking a walk with my sister and our dog, and we were talking and she happened to ask me about my boyfriend. She asked if he had slept over. She is 15. Shes a bright girl. I usually would lie about that but i am 24. I laughed and said yes he did. My parents were out of town, they like him and have met him but my mother is very old school and just frowns upon that big time. But also knowing my sister is here she shouldnt see that either. But she happened to be gone that day as well. So I didnt see a problem, after all , i am of age! Right! Well my sister happened to tell me there are cameras in the house. I go what?! She said dad didnt tell you? I go UM NO?!?!. She also got me to admit to me going into her room and borrowing her clothes. She told me the camera is near my brothers room and her room and my room are in view. She started to get heated about me going in there. Well i kept saying how is that fair about a camera blah blah i am 24 and if its for me thats RIDICULOUS! well just the other day I was in kitchen and she all of a sudden goes "there are no cameras Jill". My mouth dropped. That little shit caught me made me bluff. And pointed out the little snitch about the clothing AND how my parents knew about him sleeping over was my BROTHER. my 13 yr old brother who is on the computer ALL DAY LONG or in his room playing XBox in his OWN little world. I always thought he never pays attention to stuff. Well, there goes his clean laundary I do! Ha. I have never did anything to that kid, always buy him food and do his laundary. Made me very annoyed. So when my mom texts me asking how things are going or whats going on i so badly want to say "why dont you ask your reporter, Jack?" ugh!!! She doesnt know that I know this. Just lovely. I am NOT the 15 yr old here. I am doing what i am supposed to be for once, will be attending school in 2.5 weeks, I take care of my daughter, i do housework every single day, i am very responsible, I have an amazing boyfriend, now WHY do they have to bug me for that?!

Ah! Just ONE more rant I must get off my chest! So like I said earlier my birthday and school are coming up VERY quickly. The other day I saw a commercial about Marco Island. That is about an hr and a half from me and I hear is SO beautiful, prettier than here and the keys! I know of a couple friends who have went and even have houses there. I would LOVE to go. I told my boyfriend and he suggested we go for a weekend. I told my mom thinking "yet not thinking" i should know my mom. If she would watch Sadie so I can have a nice birthday weekend before school on the 22. Well her response was "Jill, you guys are dating. Not married. i am sorry but I dont promote that." umm WTH. are you serious I was wanting to say?!

I again, am HOW OLD? I GAVE BIRTH TO TWO GIRLS, been married, yes didnt turn out so hot, but I have my girls. And I cant go away for a weekend! i KNOW it had to do with God related Catholic stuff. I cannot tell you how annoyed and upset and angry ai was and still am. Like seriously? Even my dad, offered to give us the camper. Ahh. So that is a NO go. Just thanks Mom. Ill remember this.

Boo, hope all are having a great weekend. I shall have a drink right about ..now!

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About Me

I am a friend,sister, niece, granddaughter, a daughter, and most importantly a mother of two beautiful baby girls Naomi Hope, who was born 3 months early due to severe preeclampsia, 1 lb 12 oz, surviving 35 days, passing to sepsis aurea and pnemonia, and Sadie Marie born September 16, 2010, 4 lb 15 oz, 34w,6d to severe pre E as well, who is doing very well. I know we both have our angel Naomi watching over us. I miss and love so very much.