Undoing the Ego

It is from our peace of mind that a peaceful perception of the world arises.

This is a first taste of true perception–using what the ego made for the Holy Spirit’s purpose of Love.

Lesson 34 works with our fear thoughts, anxiety, depression, “offending” personalities, events, or situations, and has us become more aware of what they are … and then replace them with peace of mind.

Willingness: I could see peace instead of this.

Practice: I could see peace instead of this.

Results: A great spreading through the upper-back of my head … a relaxing of my breath, neck and shoulders … a sense of internal spaciousness … a letting go of fixing situations … a giggle of relief, a trusting in God, in the Holy Spirit as Comforter …

I could see peace instead of this … instead of what? For a moment, nothing but peace, a vast spreading … no words …

LESSON 34

I could see peace instead of this.

The idea for today begins to describe the conditions that prevail in the other way of seeing. Peace of mind is clearly an internal matter. It must begin with your own thoughts, and then extend outward. It is from your peace of mind that a peaceful perception of the world arises.

Three longer practice periods are required for today’s exercises. One in the morning and one in the evening are advised, with an additional one to be undertaken at any time in between that seems most conducive to readiness. All applications should be done with your eyes closed. It is your inner world to which the applications of today’s idea should be made.

Some five minutes of mind searching are required for each of the longer practice periods. Search your mind for fear thoughts, anxiety-provoking situations, “offending” personalities or events, or anything else about which you are harboring unloving thoughts. Note them all casually, repeating the idea for today slowly as you watch them arise in your mind, and let each one go, to be replaced by the next.

If you begin to experience difficulty in thinking of specific subjects, continue to repeat the idea to yourself in an unhurried manner, without applying it to anything in particular. Be sure, however, not to make any specific exclusions.

The shorter applications are to be frequent, and made whenever you feel your peace of mind is threatened in any way. The purpose is to protect yourself from temptation throughout the day. If a specific form of temptation arises in your awareness, the exercise should take this form:

I could see peace in this situation instead of what I now see in it.

If the inroads on your peace of mind take the form of more generalized adverse emotions, such as depression, anxiety or worry, use the idea in its original form. If you find you need more than one application of today’s idea to help you change your mind in any specific context, try to take several minutes and devote them to repeating the idea until you feel some sense of relief. It will help you if you tell yourself specifically:

I can replace my feelings of depression, anxiety or worry [or my thoughts about this situation, personality or event] with peace.

There is another way of looking at the world. There is another way of looking at my outer world. There is another way of looking at my inner world. Inside out. Upside down. Reversed. Unraveled.

What are words? A bunch of letters woven together into meanings. What are images? Pictures of thoughts. Words and pictures express thoughts. What are thoughts? Ideas and interpretations. Ideas about what? Life. Interpretations of what? No things.

The ego has spun an imaginary web of no things and made them seem like some things. Allowing another way of looking at the world goes far beyond new ideas about planet earth and the cosmos. It releases all attachment, completely. Mind is still. Peace and freedom abide harmoniously and expansively. Happy sigh.

LESSON 33

There is another way of looking at the world.

Today’s idea is an attempt to recognize that you can shift your perception of the world in both its outer and inner aspects. A full five minutes should be devoted to the morning and evening applications. In these practice periods, the idea should be repeated as often as you find comfortable, though unhurried applications are essential. Alternate between surveying your outer and inner perceptions, but without an abrupt sense of shifting.

Merely glance casually around the world you perceive as outside yourself, then close your eyes and survey your inner thoughts with equal casualness. Try to remain equally uninvolved in both, and to maintain this detachment as you repeat the idea throughout the day. The shorter exercise periods should be as frequent as possible. Specific applications of today’s idea should also be made immediately, when any situation arises which tempts you to become disturbed. For these applications, say:

There is another way of looking at this.

Remember to apply today’s idea the instant you are aware of distress. It may be necessary to take a minute or so to sit quietly and repeat the idea to yourself several times. Closing your eyes will probably help in this form of application.

Jesus says that I am the inventor of the world I see. He is not speaking to me, Amy. Amy is just a fragment of the one ego mind. Ego does not listen to what Jesus has to say. Ego sticks its fingers in its ears and says, “I don’t hear you! I don’t hear you!”

Jesus is addressing all of us as One Brother, that is, Christ-consciousness, the Sonship, Pure Awareness. Jesus is explaining that ego is an image-maker.

The outer world is a visual-figment of “my” imagination. The inner world is a thought-figment of “my” imagination. Who does this “my” belong to? The one ego mind. Who does the one ego mind belong to? Christ-consciousness. Who does Christ-consciousness belong to? God.

The ego is a mad scientist mixing concoctions of guilt, fear and death; of past and future; of images and form. Ego causes separation and the effect is separation. God causes Love and the effect is Love. Cause and effect are the same, but the ego makes them seem different.

Jesus tells us to apply the idea for today to any situation that may distress, such as, “I have invented this upset stomach as I see it. I have invented these despotic murders throughout the world as I see them. I have invented my longing to rescue that stray dog as I see it.” As I practice, something zooms out and I see that there is no stomach to hurt, there is no political tragedy, and there is no dog to stray. Light shines forms away …

It becomes clear that there is a sense of “me” drawing pictures that “I” get sucked into and forget were drawn by “me.” All pain melts away and is replaced by pure faith.

Then come the oscillations between pure faith and the heavy ego-gravity pull of compulsively reviewing the past and projecting into the future … the vise of ego identity insisting on its own existence although there is nothing between its jaws.

This is only to be expected as sleep melts away and the spiritual eye of the Soul blinks open. Do not be concerned with the final turns of the ceiling fan after the power has been cut off.

LESSON 32

I have invented the world I see.

Today we are continuing to develop the theme of cause and effect. You are not the victim of the world you see because you invented it. You can give it up as easily as you made it up. You will see it or not see it, as you wish. While you want it you will see it; when you no longer want it, it will not be there for you to see.

The idea for today, like the preceding ones, applies to your inner and outer worlds, which are actually the same. However, since you see them as different, the practice periods for today will again include two phases, one involving the world you see outside you, and the other the world you see in your mind. In today’s exercises, try to introduce the thought that both are in your own imagination.

Again we will begin the practice periods for the morning and evening by repeating the idea for today two or three times while looking around at the world you see as outside yourself. Then close your eyes and look around your inner world. Try to treat them both as equally as possible. Repeat the idea for today unhurriedly as often as you wish, as you watch the images your imagination presents to your awareness.

For the two longer practice periods three to five minutes are recommended, with not less than three required. More than five can be utilized, if you find the exercise restful. To facilitate this, select a time when few distractions are anticipated, and when you yourself feel reasonably ready.

These exercises are also to be continued during the day, as often as possible. The shorter applications consist of repeating the idea slowly, as you survey either your inner or outer world. It does not matter which you choose.

The idea for today should also be applied immediately to any situation that may distress you. Apply the idea by telling yourself:

Q: As a boy, I was sexually abused by a priest, and it has crippled me as an adult in many ways. The Course has helped me to forgive him, but I feel like Jesus is blaming me when he tells us to say, “I am responsible for what I see. I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve. And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked.” (T-21.II) How could I be responsible for this priest’s actions, especially since I was so young at the time?

A: Thank you for your courage in sharing this devastating situation. Your question is shared by so many people who were betrayed as children. There are several layers here, so let’s peel them away together.

First, you reveal that due to the abuse you are crippled as an adult. As realistic as this seems to you, please consider that no matter what your circumstances, feelings, or state of mind, Jesus clearly states in Chapter 1, “You are the work of God, and His work is wholly lovable and wholly loving.” Somewhere deep inside we all know this is true. Allow yourself to be a sponge and soak up this loving testament to who you really are, and always will be, God’s perfect child.

Second, you say the Course has helped you forgive the priest. In the ACIM Preface, Jesus explains that each special relationship holds the “chance to forgive oneself by forgiving the other.” This could be taken to mean that one person forgives another, but the Course clarifies that forgiveness occurs when you invite the Holy Spirit to take charge and work through you. The Holy Spirit truly empowers us by undoing projections of victimization no matter how justified they appear.

In the process, guilt may seem to move from “other” back to “self” until it evaporates entirely. Eventually, we discover forgiveness undoes the identification you have as a person and reveals there is no one to be forgiven. You don’t have to figure this out. ACIM is like a Zen koan — it boggles the mind in order to open the mind to its true Identity.

Third, you feel Jesus is blaming you, which reveals you are still carrying guilt. Not to worry. Guilt is the glue that holds the ego together. When you catch yourself feeling as if Jesus is blaming you, be aware that ego-thinking has taken over. Let this become an ongoing reminder to “choose again.” Simply say, “Holy Spirit, I choose your guidance. Remind me of my innocence.” Miracles are guaranteed.

Last, you ask, “How could I be responsible for the priest’s actions, especially since I was so young at the time?” Notice within your question is the inherent assumption that you are a person. Don’t fall for this ego trick. “A pseudo-question has no answer. It dictates the answer even as it asks.” (T-27.IV.5) The ego lures us to speculate endlessly about human affairs. Dismiss this temptation.

The prayer you cite is about a higher power of decision. There are only two choices: God or ego. You are responsible for choosing to see with the Holy Spirit’s unifying vision or the ego’s divisive eyesight. This prayer is neither an accusation nor a law of attraction mantra. Jesus is not concerned with people improving their personal lives, which only strengthens belief in ego illusions. Happily, the part of you that reads the Course understands this because it is the memory of God within you, awakening to its true Self.

Try this: “I, the One Son of God, am responsible for what I see.” Choose peace, make peace your goal, and you will come to feel peace, receive peace, give peace, and know you are peace. “Everything looked upon with vision is healed and holy.” (T-21.Intro)

This Q&A appears in the Ask Amy column from the March-April 2015 issue of Miracles magazine. Miracles is a well-loved staple in the ACIM community. To get a subscription, email Jon@miraclesmagazine.org or call 845-496-9089. To ask Amy a question, email miracles (at) amytorresacim (dot) com

Detachment. Neutral observation. These qualities will allow us to separate from the ego thought system rather than separating from God.

We are advised to “let the stream [of thought] move on evenly and calmly, without any special investment on your part.” This is the mind training: watching our thoughts as if they are figures on a ticker tape; figures in which, contrary to ego thinking, we now have no investment.

We are beginning to recognize that the world we picture is the results of the thoughts we think. “You will escape from both together, for the inner is the cause of the outer.” As we learn this we “are making a declaration of independence in the name of your own freedom. And in your freedom lies the freedom of the world.”

As we rewind our thoughts and discover everything is really and truly happening in the mind, we become free of feeling that we can be the victim of anything that happens in the world. Our freedom frees everyone because there is only one mind to change and then the whole illusion unravels.

“The idea for today is also a particularly useful one to use as a response to any form of temptation that may arise. It is a declaration that you will not yield to it, and put yourself in bondage.” Hmmmm. Well, that’s gonna take some more practice.

LESSON 31

I am not the victim of the world I see.

Today’s idea is the introduction to your declaration of release. Again, the idea should be applied to both the world you see without and the world you see within. In applying the idea, we will use a form of practice which will be used more and more, with changes as indicated. Generally speaking, the form includes two aspects, one in which you apply the idea on a more sustained basis, and the other consisting of frequent applications of the idea throughout the day.

Two longer periods of practice with the idea for today are needed, one in the morning and one at night. Three to five minutes for each of these are recommended. During that time, look about you slowly while repeating the idea two or three times. Then close your eyes, and apply the same idea to your inner world. You will escape from both together, for the inner is the cause of the outer.

As you survey your inner world, merely let whatever thoughts cross your mind come into your awareness, each to be considered for a moment, and then replaced by the next. Try not to establish any kind of hierarchy among them. Watch them come and go as dispassionately as possible. Do not dwell on any one in particular, but try to let the stream move on evenly and calmly, without any special investment on your part. As you sit and quietly watch your thoughts, repeat today’s idea to yourself as often as you care to, but with no sense of hurry.

In addition, repeat the idea for today as often as possible during the day. Remind yourself that you are making a declaration of independence in the name of your own freedom. And in your freedom lies the freedom of the world.

The idea for today is also a particularly useful one to use as a response to any form of temptation that may arise. It is a declaration that you will not yield to it, and put yourself in bondage.

Real vision is unlimited by space and time. Real vision does not depend on the body’s eyes at all. Real vision comes from “within,” that is, from God’s mind. Today we use “projection” as a way of seeing the All in all.

God is in everything I see … because God is in my mind. God is in my mind, and so everything I see is infused with God.

If God is Light, then Light is shining through my mind, and illuminating all that I see.

Darkness cannot exist in Light. Who am I? That Light which is Shining.

LESSON 30

God is in everything I see because God is in my mind.

The idea for today is the springboard for vision. From this idea will the world open up before you, and you will look upon it and see in it what you have never seen before. Nor will what you saw before be even faintly visible to you.

Today we are trying to use a new kind of “projection.” We are not attempting to get rid of what we do not like by seeing it outside. Instead, we are trying to see in the world what is in our minds, and what we want to recognize is there. Thus, we are trying to join with what we see, rather than keeping it apart from us. That is the fundamental difference between vision and the way you see.

Today’s idea should be applied as often as possible throughout the day. Whenever you have a moment or so, repeat it to yourself slowly, looking about you, and trying to realize that the idea applies to everything you do see now, or could see now if it were within the range of your sight.

Real vision is not limited to concepts such as “near” or “far.” To help you begin to get used to this idea, try to think of things beyond your present range as well as those you can actually see, as you apply today’s idea.

Real vision is not only unlimited by space and distance, but it does not depend on the body’s eyes at all. The mind is its only source. To aid in helping you to become more accustomed to this idea as well, devote several practice periods to applying today’s idea with your eyes closed, using whatever subjects come to mind, and looking within rather than without. Today’s idea applies equally to both.

Let’s practice together! Watch and listen to Amy reading each ACIM Lesson on Youtube. Also, check out Workin’ the Workbook, her online class which supports the ACIM Workbook practice.

“Would you not have the instruments of separation reinterpreted as means for salvation, and used for purposes of love?” (T-18.VI.5:1)

I was raised with the understanding that love is measured by how devastated you feel when someone dies. Inconsolable grief was a demonstration of depth of feeling and loyalty to the departed.

In fact, pain was a tie that kept the relationship between the deceased and the living “alive.” To stop feeling pain was to be a callous monster.

Guilt turned out to be an intrinsic part of all love relationships, whether dead or living. Guilt was an ongoing barometer of how often I fell short of loving well, and the punishing consequences of my inadequacy and/or selfishness.

Such is the nature of human love. There are always conditions and loss.

However, after studying A Course in Miracles for a while (along with 12-step work and psychotherapy), I began to realize that giving on human terms was supporting conditional love rather than unconditional love. It was also enabling me to maintain ego control rather than developing faith in relying on my Inner Teacher.

What a relief to discover my true purpose, “Everyone has a special part to play in the Atonement, but the message given to each one is always the same; God’s Son is guiltless.” (T-14.V.2:1)

Ego tempted me with the idea that accepting innocence (when I was convinced I had done something wrong) would be the equivalent of not having a conscience. Or that if I forgave someone when he had clearly done something wrong that I would be encouraging or enabling cruelty and its results.

But Jesus so clearly explains in A Course in Miracles that our original state is Innocence and Innocence can only beget Love, that he changed my mind. My attention moved from ego madness to Jesus sanity, as he explained, “Your only calling here is to devote yourself, with active willingness, to the denial of guilt in all its forms.” (T-14.V.3:4)

I embraced this “active willingness” and it removed the deep-seated guilt that plagued me, gently excised the judgment that condemned me, and in the process released all my brothers as well. People make mistakes and mistakes deserve Correction. Turning to the Holy Spirit always provides a loving Answer.

For almost 20 years now, rather than using relationships as instruments of separation, I have used them for the purpose of love. My new measurement of Love has withstood the test of time and experimentation with real humans. Love inevitably leads to Timelessness and shifts the human to the Being.

It should be no surprise God’s Love turns out to be Innocent, non-judgmental, non-obligatory, non-expectant, bargain-free, no contracts, freely given and received, easy and natural, overflowing with generosity, and always alive. For God’s Love can never die, nor betray, nor harm. And we are an extension of God’s Love.

We are used to attributing the grandeur and beauty of nature to God. We are not used to the idea that God is in the mundane and the revolting as well.

God is in everything we see because we are within God’s Mind. Seen correctly, every “thing” is not a thing at all, but an extension of One Formless Source.

Therefore, God is in this and God is in this

God is in everything I see … because I am within God’s Mind.

Pantheism regards the universe as a manifestation of God; pantheism is a doctrine that equates God with the forces and laws of the universe.* Today’s lesson is not saying that God created the physical universe. It is saying that what the ego mis-created can be used for God’s Loving Purpose which will help us see differently. The word “universe” is used to mean different things depending on its context in ACIM. In W-29, universe is used to mean Oneness.

Lesson 29 could also be titled, “The Whole Basis for Vision.” The alternate title I proposed for yesterday’s lesson was, “The Purpose of the Universe.” When we want to see things differently, the purpose of the universe is revealed: to see with God’s Unified Vision, not with the ego’s divisive dream-mind.

Your Inner Teacher, the Holy Spirit, provides a Vision bridge for you to cross.

The manifestation of the Holy Spirit, Jesus, holds out his hand for you to help you cross that golden bridge.

Since we are equals with Jesus, we are also manifestations of the Holy Spirit.

Cross the bridge and find out for yourself.

LESSON 29

God is in everything I see.

The idea for today explains why you can see all purpose in everything. It explains why nothing is separate, by itself or in itself. And it explains why nothing you see means anything. In fact, it explains every idea we have used thus far, and all subsequent ones as well. Today’s idea is the whole basis for vision.

You will probably find this idea very difficult to grasp at this point. You may find it silly, irreverent, senseless, funny and even objectionable. Certainly God is not in a table, for example, as you see it. Yet we emphasized yesterday that a table shares the purpose of the universe. And what shares the purpose of the universe shares the purpose of its Creator.

Try then, today, to begin to learn how to look on all things with love, appreciation and open-mindedness. You do not see them now. Would you know what is in them? Nothing is as it appears to you. Its holy purpose stands beyond your little range. When vision has shown you the holiness that lights up the world, you will understand today’s idea perfectly. And you will not understand how you could ever have found it difficult.

Our six two-minute practice periods for today should follow a now familiar pattern: Begin with repeating the idea to yourself, and then apply it to randomly chosen subjects about you, naming each one specifically. Try to avoid the tendency toward self-directed selection, which may be particularly tempting in connection with today’s idea because of its wholly alien nature. Remember that any order you impose is equally alien to reality.

Your list of subjects should therefore be as free of self-selection as possible. For example, a suitable list might include:

God is in this coat hanger.
God is in this magazine.
God is in this finger.
God is in this lamp.
God is in that body.
God is in that door.
God is in that waste basket.

In addition to the assigned practice periods, repeat the idea for today at least once an hour, looking slowly about you as you say the words unhurriedly to yourself. At least once or twice, you should experience a sense of restfulness as you do this.

This lesson helps us to stop referencing the past entirely, to open our minds completely, and to see truly. The title could just as well be, “The Purpose of the Universe.”

When we look at the image to the left, we have already defined it in our minds. If we withdraw everything we think we know about this table, and commit to seeing it differently, we could gain vision from this simple exercise right now.

Jesus is not messing around. He tells us, “In using the table as a subject for applying the idea for today, you are therefore really asking to see the purpose of the universe.” and “You are asking it what it is, rather than telling it what it is.” In doing so, “You are not binding its meaning to your tiny experience of tables, nor are you limiting its purpose to your little personal thoughts.”

Withdrawing all ideas from the table (or anything else) leaves your mind open to “something beautiful and clean and of infinite value, full of happiness and hope.” When above all else you really want to see things differently, God’s purpose is revealed.

LESSON 28

Above all else I want to see things differently.

Today we are really giving specific application to the idea for yesterday. In these practice periods, you will be making a series of definite commitments. The question of whether you will keep them in the future is not our concern here. If you are willing at least to make them now, you have started on the way to keeping them. And we are still at the beginning.

You may wonder why it is important to say, for example, “Above all else I want to see this table differently.” In itself it is not important at all. Yet what is by itself? And what does “in itself” mean? You see a lot of separate things about you, which really means you are not seeing at all. You either see or not. When you have seen one thing differently, you will see all things differently. The light you will see in any one of them is the same light you will see in them all.

When you say, “Above all else I want to see this table differently,” you are making a commitment to withdraw your preconceived ideas about the table, and open your mind to what it is, and what it is for. You are not defining it in past terms. You are asking what it is, rather than telling it what it is. You are not binding its meaning to your tiny experience of tables, nor are you limiting its purpose to your little personal thoughts.

You will not question what you have already defined. And the purpose of these exercises is to ask questions and receive the answers. In saying, “Above all else I want to see this table differently,” you are committing yourself to seeing. It is not an exclusive commitment. It is a commitment that applies to the table just as much as to anything else, neither more nor less.

You could, in fact, gain vision from just that table, if you would withdraw all your own ideas from it, and look upon it with a completely open mind. It has something to show you; something beautiful and clean and of infinite value, full of happiness and hope. Hidden under all your ideas about it is its real purpose, the purpose it shares with all the universe.

In using the table as a subject for applying the idea for today, you are therefore really asking to see the purpose of the universe. You will be making this same request of each subject that you use in the practice periods. And you are making a commitment to each of them to let its purpose be revealed to you, instead of placing your own judgment upon it.

We will have six two-minute practice periods today, in which the idea for the day is stated first, and then applied to whatever you see about you. Not only should the subjects be chosen randomly, but each one should be accorded equal sincerity as today’s idea is applied to it, in an attempt to acknowledge the equal value of them all in their contribution to your seeing.

As usual, the applications should include the name of the subject your eyes happen to light on, and you should rest your eyes on it while saying:

Above all else I want to see this __________ differently.

Each application should be made quite slowly, and as thoughtfully as possible. There is no hurry.

It’s interesting how today’s lesson says it expresses something stronger than “mere determination.” Lesson 20 was “I am determined to see.” Now, we graduate to “Above all else I want to see.” In Lesson 27, Jesus tells us that determination is not very strong at all–no surprise there, ha ha! But although the ego tries to undermine us, be comforted by knowing that if you are practicing A Course in Miracles, grace is working with you; grace is guiding you already.

In the law of attraction the word “want” indicates lack. But in A Course in Miracles, “want” simply means desire. The word “above” conjures up a heavenly light beckoning. The lesson is clearly stating the only sensible priority: before everything else, every ego concern and desire we have, there must be commitment to True Vision. This is the only road to love, peace and joy.

We are warned that to the ego this will feel like we’re inviting loss. So we’re given two phrases to assuage this fear: “Vision has no cost to anyone” and “It can only bless.” If I become afraid that on rising to Heaven (which is not about the death of the body) I’ve left behind my loved ones and they can’t get on without me, I can remind myself that no one pays a price for Vision and it blesses us all.

This kind of lesson is compatible with my nature. I enjoy making it a mindful mantra. “Above all else I want to see. Above all else I want to see. Above all else I want to see. Aummmmmmmmmmm.” It was in my sleep with me last night. The words jumbled around (“Beyond all things I want to see”) but the meaning was retained–specific words don’t matter when we are sincere and allow the Holy Spirit to take over and work within us.

LESSON 27

Above all else I want to see.

Today’s idea expresses something stronger than mere determination. It gives vision priority among your desires. You may feel hesitant about using the idea, on the grounds that you are not sure you really mean it. This does not matter. The purpose of today’s exercises is to bring the time when the idea will be wholly true a little nearer.

There may be a great temptation to believe that some sort of sacrifice is being asked of you when you say you want to see above all else. If you become uneasy about the lack of reservation involved, add:

Vision has no cost to anyone.

If fear of loss still persists, add further:

It can only bless.

The idea for today needs many repetitions for maximum benefit. It should be used at least every half hour, and more if possible. You might try for every fifteen or twenty minutes. It is recommended that you set a definite time interval for using the idea when you wake or shortly afterwards, and attempt to adhere to it throughout the day. It will not be difficult to do this, even if you are engaged in conversation, or otherwise occupied at the time. You can still repeat one short sentence to yourself without disturbing anything.

The real question is, how often will you remember? How much do you want today’s idea to be true? Answer one of these questions, and you have answered the other. You will probably miss several applications, and perhaps quite a number. Do not be disturbed by this, but do try to keep on your schedule from then on. If only once during the day you feel that you were perfectly sincere while you were repeating today’s idea, you can be sure that you have saved yourself many years of effort.