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My son got his heart broken yesterday

My son is 4 and he saw these 2 little girls playing in their pool. He went over to play with them and they said he couldn't play so he came back over crying. I went out and bought him one. He was playing in his pool and the girls came over. I told him to tell them they cant play in his pool and to go away. I encouraged him to be mean because they were mean to him. I know it was wrong but I was mad they hurt his feelings.

So,2 little girls were in a pool they didn't want him to play. You decide they are mean,evil girls. So,you run buy him a pool(this is fine),he should have his own pool. But,you missed out big,when you told him to be mean,spiteful,rude,and selfish. The correct thing to do,"tell your son to share your pool,while I go fix all of you a snack". One thing about kids,they have a heart of gold,until an adult fill it up with pure dirt. To be these little girls weren't trying to hurt him,who knows they probably had a little crush on him. I was watching "Leave it to Beaver",Beaver told the girl in his class,you have cooties,the girl invited him to her party he was the only boy invited. Beaver didn't realize he lliked the girl,until his brother "Wally" explained boys and girls feelings. I do hope you talk to your son,but most of all I hope you these little girls differently.

I see it differently than most of the other moms here. I don't think it's good to teach your child to be mean, but I don't see anything wrong with teaching him that he doesn't have to be anyone's doormat. You don't have to be nice to people who aren't nice to you. Mean people are counting on others to be too afraid of being called out by people like the disagreeing moms here.

This post really bothers me. My son has adhd and is in a special program called Teaching Appropriate Behaviors. There are children in there far more worse off than he is and they pick on him daily. I always tell him though that maybe they don't know yet how to behave and to remember that just because someone treats you that way it is not ok in any way to treat them badly just to get back at them. You taught your child today to do the exact opposite. You taught him that when someone does you wrong then you do them wrong as well. Two wrongs never make a right. I know that it bothered you to see your son get his feelings hurt, that is understandable as a mother.

Here is my thing. My daughter was having problems with a little girl in school. The little girl was always mean to her and picked on her and constantly screamed at her. My daughter and I were having our day together and as we went into Hobby Lobby we saw this little girl with her mother. The little girl was nothing like she was at school. She stood in that parking lot and got screamed at and cussed at and berated for a good five minutes. I told my daughter that she needed to remember that moment because that said alot about why the little girl acted the way that she did. My daughter to this day is nice to the little girl despite her meaness. She knows that there are people who sometimes just do what they know. Maybe those two children would have always remembered your little boy saying it was ok for them to play despite how they acted. Maybe it would have taught them something. Instead, you taught your son to be just as mean as the rest of the world.

I always want my children to remember what Ghandi said: Be the change you want to see in the world.

These girls weren't 4 they are 6 and 8 which to me seems like a bit of a difference and makes more sense why they didn't want to play with a 4 year old boy.

Quoting gemikris82:

i feel sorry for your son, butg you should of let him made his own decision if he wanted them to play with him them or not. i would of told them to stick it....yea even at four. and explained to them in detail what that meant lol

couldnt have been that much of a problem if they wanted to play with him when he had the pool

It just breaks YOUR heart when they get their feelings hurt or feel rejected. I know I did. Thing to remember is that as much as it pain you to see his pain, you have to set a good example. Always be the bigger person my mother would tell me. So next time your baby is in the pool, invite those `mean girls' and set a good example and promote a friendship. If you still don't like the way your son is being treated don't invite them back, but you tried and showed your son how to handle rejection in a positive way.

I agree with what you did especially were I live.young kids r very mean now a days from an early age and it grows with them she need to teach her son dat its ok to bealone sometimes than be in bad company. My mother alwaya told me u was born by yourself n u will die by yourself so don't follow other kids around. I also think that at that young age girls will more likely wana play wit girls n vice versa they're still in that boys hav cooties stage so start takin ur kid to a park or sumthing or cary him on play dates?

He's 4!!! He is still a baby and needs his mother to protect him. Damn right OP I would have done the same thing. at that age we are still teaching them that no matter what the big bad word says, as your momma I will always have your back and protect you. As it should be, good job.

Quoting TaralynnStewart:

I got my feelings hurt time from time growning up and I turned out just fine. My girls (10 and 2) get their feelings hurt from time to time but it's LIFE don't hold his hand. He's 4 time to grow a back bone.

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