The Aliyah Chronicles: Saying Good-Bye

You can't transport to Israel all the piles of stuff that have defined your life for so long. What stays and what goes?

"Arriba! Garbage!" Our two Spanish helpers wobbled as they carried an 18-gallon Rubbermaid container stuffed with books down two flights of stairs in the New Jersey heat wave.

"Gracias! Gracias!" It was the only word we knew, but it came in handy. They smiled politely, wiping the droplets of sweat dripping down their faces.

It had to be done. The sorting. The choosing. The keepers. The losers. We have a 10-suitcase allotment for the Aliyah flight to Israel and a section of a 40-foot shipping container to transport the rest of our belongings. When you move from say, Manhattan to Queens, you can afford to transport your junk. But at $5.55/cubic foot, my 5th grade sticker collection and my husband's public speaking notebook from freshman year of college would not make it into the keeper pile.

"We have no room for sentimentality right now. Is this an object you want to pass down to your son?"

"We have no room for sentimentality right now," I shook my head. "You don't really need this. Where will you put it in Israel? Is this an object you want to pass down to your son?" He loosened his grip.

He carefully placed the helmet on the arm of the couch and stepped away officially disowning it. "Put it on Ebay along with your candy dish."

I grabbed my glass candy dish out of the box. "Wait a minute. My professor gave this to me in graduate school. My name is engraved on it. Nobody on Ebay would want it."

"Sweetheart," my husband smiled, crossing his arms calmly, "put it in the garbage. It's been in a box for ten years."

"So what? Who knew it had been in a box until now? I thought it was lost!" This candy dish represented a time period in my life. It reminded me of Soho and the noisy jazz club below that apartment where I stayed for a week while I was looking for a room. And when I was little, my grandmother used to leave out hard candy in a colorful dish on her coffee table. It reminded me suddenly of my grandmother who was in a nursing home. This candy dish was loaded with meaning.

"I'll have to think about it," I muttered, turning my face away from his.

And so it went. Wants vs. needs.

We have no room or money for the Wants in Israel. The room sizes are smaller. There will be no large cellars, sprawling backyards with huge sheds or walk-in closets to hold our junk. Beds, dishes, clothing -- those were our needs. We had to dig ourselves out of the extraneous piles that had defined our life for so long.

Our "Aliyah Sale" brought us to the next level of this exercise. As the goods were placed on the front lawn, the neighborhood children began to wander closer and closer, eyeing the trucks and dolls, jiggling the quarters in their pockets, held back only by our children standing guard over their toys (that they hadn't seen in three years).

But neither the looming clouds in the distance nor the children upsetting the order of our sale items, caused the air to thicken. It was the finality of it all.

"Look, honey." My husband held up a green container. "Peek inside and guess what this is." I opened the container with some trepidation. Who knows what kind of thing a guy gets sentimental over and saves to show his wife. It could've been a cat's tail for all I knew. Fortunately, what I found was a lump of dry dirt.

"Is this Israel, honey?" I glowed, feeling proud of his long time connection to the holy land.

"No. This, my dear, is Flemington." Ah yes, the last remnants of Flemington Fair Speedway's dirt racing track. It made sense. There was no Israel connection back then.

The dirt was discarded, along with a box of racing magazines, and racecar technology books. With his arm at his side, his fingers pointed up and down, waving in a gesture of good-bye to an era of his life defined by a different passion. In a dark corner of the house, he may have even shed a tear or two.

It was sad. But not that sad.

Not as sad as the fact that my six boxes of college and graduate school books sat lonely on the grass with little fanfare, soon finding their way to the recycling pile after a flash thunderstorm rained on everything, causing the pages of my books to stick together and the ink to bleed...

I flipped through the soggy pages, reading some of my notes in the margins. I once sought the meaning of life in these drama and music books. And now, I was bored.

Certainly, the demise of my poor books was sad.

But not that sad. What a revelation.

And so the day went on: rain, sun, dusk, thunder, mosquitoes, until a good portion of our stuff had found new homes and we were left standing on the porch watching the children chase the fireflies.

"Everything is free! Come one, come all!" My husband proclaimed, his voice bellowing across our dead end street, his arms raised high in the air.

The neighborhood children quickly emptied the containers while our children jumped around claiming a few toys for themselves, a few items of their own yesteryear to cling to.

My husband and I exchanged a smile -- on to the next step as we prepare our move to Eretz Yisrael. Our shipment of "keepers" departs on a boat to Israel in a week.

We will live for a month without the clutter and without the piles, as we transition from our American childhoods into our Israeli adolescence.

P.S.: The candy dish was stuffed into the racing helmet, which was squeezed into a toy box that will meet us in Israel.

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About the Author

Tara Eliwatt has an MFA in Playwriting from Columbia University. She has written and directed plays in the Jewish community for the last six years as well as taught drama to elementary and high school-aged girls. Her story, "Racing for My Father," was recently published in Ruchama K. Feuerman''s book, "Everyone Has a Story," published by Judaica Press. She made Aliyah with her family this August 2008.

Visitor Comments: 19

(19)
Luz Magaly Vasquez,
July 24, 2008 1:15 PM

Trip to Israel to stay

My daughter is thinking of moving to Israel.She wants to find a job at one of the water treatment facilities. What does she need to stay there as a resident? What cultural shock did you go through, if any? How is it where you live? How expensive is it there compared to the U.S. and how about transportation and the religious side? I have heard that there are strict laws concerning Shabbat and that if you walk with a purse or backpack on, you may be spit on or done something to because of the day of rest.
Thank you.

(18)
Anonymous,
July 16, 2008 4:42 AM

Moving from one city to another in South Africa, without having where to stay, my wife and I decided to sell off all the items we had inherited from parents, previous mariages etc (We are both widowed), that we did not need. We raised enough money to more than pay for our move. We are intending to make aliyah at the end of 2009, so we are starting to sell off items that we cannot fit into an apartment, sentimental or not, we just cannot afford to shlep extra. We are making aliyah because we want live in Israel, not because we want to leave South Africa. We wish hatzlochah with the move, may it all go well.

(17)
Baruch Miller,
July 16, 2008 1:15 AM

Impossible to do what's right

No matter how much U plan, you arrive in Israel w/things U will never need or use, & leave behind a fortune in junk you have to buy @ inflated Israeli prices. A lose-lose situation.

(16)
Sharon,
July 15, 2008 1:27 PM

accumulation is a global problem

The problem of accumulating junk is not limited to the aliyah experience. I made aliyah after my studies while still single, so I only had to take a few suitcases. But over the years I've accumulated so much "stuff". I use pre-Pesah to sort it. This point was brought home to me after one of my sons spent 24 hours helping a family whose grandparents had passed away, pack dozens of boxes labeled "etc.". Of course no one wants to throw this stuff away after the parents are gone, but we should all do our kids a favor and regularly get rid of what's not needed. This is not the legacy we wish to leave.

(15)
Anonymous,
July 15, 2008 12:08 PM

Looking forward to hearing more

We also are hoping to make aliyah in the near future. We really want to know what to bring, what not to bring, and about the problems that arise. We rarely hear about the difficulties in a realistic light. Thanks and best wishes.

(14)
Anonymous,
July 14, 2008 9:31 PM

MY COMMENT

You have to be objective & not have a one-sided view, *or* people won''t know what to expect here & be very disappointed like I am. Many families return to the U.S. because they are not told the whole truth & become very disappointed.

(13)
Anonymous,
July 14, 2008 1:00 PM

One day hope to make Aliyah too!!

My husband and I talk about making Aliyah one day in the future. So, in the interim, please, keep sharing your transition story because it will help so many who are also planning Aliyah. I would also like to know more about what kind of home you found to live in, and what the adjustments are as a new Oleh. Looking forward to more!! L'hitraot!!

(12)
Yvonne,
July 14, 2008 2:03 AM

Good luck!

Hi, I am enjoying reading your thoughts as you prepare for aliyah. I hope to make aliyah in two years, so it is really interesting to read someone who is 2 years ahead of me. Hope all goes well.

(11)
Franklin F,
July 13, 2008 8:01 PM

We understand the trauma

The issue of shedding is painful, we sometimes feel the discomfort of giving up the attachments we've accumulated even though they are useless to our current circumsatnces. Mirror the issue with shedding the physical for the spiritual we all claim to want, but invariably need. But take heart for it's a question of dimension or paradigm, how we look at things and what is really important, only take what you can carry to the next level, those are the important things

(10)
lynn finson,
July 13, 2008 2:48 PM

Thanks for the article and welcome home.

Tara, I always enjoy your writing so much. Am thrilled you will be back here. I still have the candy dish you gave me when you left MRC. I use it all the time. Come visit us soon!!

(9)
Beverly Kurtin,
July 13, 2008 2:37 PM

Fire!

I seriously doubt that I will ever move to Israel. It isn't so much that I wouldn't like to, I would, but what would I DO? How would I live? I think it's better for all that I remain behind.

But if I did go, I'd have a fire. Not a real one, of course, but a fire anyway. Give me some clothes, my laptop and other computer goodies, like a printer, etc., a few bucks and NOTHING ELSE.

When a person's home burns to the ground, what do they have left? Ashes. In the end, what will we be (our bodies, at least)? Dust and ash.

But push comes to shove, I could put all of my necessary (to me) belongings into two suitcases, hope the plane, and start learning Hebrew.

I can't afford to do that, so for now I'll sit in my office that is filled with the garbage we all carry (physically and emotionally) and pray for the peace of Jerusalem and Khal Yisrael.

Shalom, I wish you a joyous return.

(8)
Sarah,
July 13, 2008 1:33 PM

welcome home!

All changes are difficult. But the fact that you're coming to live in Israel overshadows the difficulties. Bruchim habaim!

(7)
Daniel,
July 13, 2008 12:03 PM

Memories, Stuff, & Leaving the Unnecessary in the Galut

Thanks for sharing your story about your aliyah process, and getting rid of memorabilia. G-d Willing, I plan to move to Ha Eretz in June 2012. And after reading your story, I had better get started with the sorting process now. I have too much stuff as well.

(6)
Lynne,
July 13, 2008 11:58 AM

How heart warming and true!

One realizes the genuine importance of priorities and that which actually matters and does not, upon reading this.
Glad that the candy dish and helmet eventually find their way to Israel!

(5)
Diane Hartman Cudo,
July 13, 2008 10:36 AM

Aliyah Bound

As I make my own way toward aliyah, this was a "must read"! Best of luck to this family as you settle in Eretz Yisrael!!

(4)
raye,
July 13, 2008 9:13 AM

Shades of my Aliyah - Dec.2004

Ublike Tara, I still feel bad at the loss of my college and graduate texts and notebooks that I left with friends during a much earlier trip to Israel because they were created during my thirties and forties and were considered my "blood, sweat and tears". I packed all the wrong things for my Aliyah, junk so to speak, having to request friends to bring the Judaica I left behind for them to sort through.

(3)
Kira,
July 13, 2008 8:40 AM

There's room to be sentimental!

You'll wind up throwing stuff out when you get here, also. But you'll have room for plenty of things that matter to you. Good luck, especially with the very stressful - but very exciting - transition stage!

(2)
chava,
July 13, 2008 8:32 AM

what to bring??

I brought a bunch of stuff I shouldn't have. And I didn't bring a bunch of stuff I should have. The only ones who get it right are those who come when they're just beginning their independent life and don't have much stuff. (They get the timing right as well.) When I was packing, someone said to throw everything away. I couldn't do it. Someone else said to just bring everything and sort it all out later. The important thing is to GO. So I'm here. With lots of boxes filled with stuff I don't need. And thoughts of things I didn't bring that I can't replace here. But none of that matters. The important thing is that I'm HERE. B"H.

(1)
renee azoulay,
July 13, 2008 8:26 AM

Saying Good-Buye!

What a nice way to put the debate on moving belongings to smaller quarters?
As a real estate agent, I have access to numerous homes and it is one of the situation I witnessed: People tend to accumulate all their lives a lot of stuff, for sentimental value or some thing else (rat-pack, collectors, etc...) and then comes the time to move to smaller quarters, to downsize or even to the end of ones life, and all the content is thrown in garage sales. It is hardly the case that children take part of parents' belongings, as themselves are already established, have their own belongings.
We should all learn the detachment from materialistic belongings, like the Succah taught us for the dwelling which is not of permanent nature, and store in our hearts, in our minds, learn and it is what really counts.