The Law of Attraction tells us that in order to have the life we want, we must first break free from beliefs that contradict our desires. Some beliefs are so deep-set that they are our reality. As much as we focus our thoughts on the changes we want, we can still be a hindrance to ourselves unless we change the paradigm.

This became so very clear to me as I prepared to open my Children’s Art Camp. I was bombarded with doubt, physical ailments and depression. Just three mere days before I opened the doors, I became lethargic and felt exhausted. The thought that kept popping into my mind was, “God this schedule is going to be so tiring.” I would have to change my 4 year old’s sleep cycle. She was going to be a bear. I would have no time to myself as I was giving up my morning quiet time. I was using double gas in the car to run my husband back and forth to work. The thought of going forward became burdensome. [Read more…]

Turning 40 years old is a milestone. It is one of those birthdays where people tend to freak out, declare that they are “old”, and get super emotional. Age 40 has been described as “too old to be young, too young to be old.” People who are about to reach this particular birthday tend to feel the need to re-evaluate their lives, make “mid-life crisis” types of changes, and spend time worrying about how their lives might have turned out if only they had made a different choice at a critical moment. Many focus on what they do not have instead of all the things in their life that brings them joy.

Except for me, that is. Instead of doing the whole overly emotional “drama” thing, I will instead do something useful. Here are 40 pieces of wisdom that I have learned through the course of my life. I will happily share my knowledge with you so that you can make your life better. These are not in order of importance, or any other kind of order.

I have spent many years absorbing self-help, goal attaining, inspirational material. I have boiled my practical goal setting technique down to some pretty easy concepts. Keep in mind I said the steps were easy – as in easy to understand – not necessarily easy to accomplish, depending on what it is you want to do!

Before I get into what I do to set goals, there are a few concepts I want to cover so you can keep them in mind while setting and ATTAINING your goals.

I was barely out of my teens over twenty years ago when I went to the New and Gauley Rivers in West Virginia to train to be a whitewater rafting guide. Women were really just breaking into the scene so the entire area was heavily dominated by men. This in itself wasn’t the least bit concerning since my desire to guide had nothing at all to do with the male to female ratio. What was concerning, as I soon came to find out, was the blatant sexism displayed by some male guides, trainers, and company owners. I selected one company out of a dozen to train with and throughout most of a year with them I endured being talked down to, sardonic attitudes, and never-ending attempts to make me fail. I was repeatedly put into situations to deliberately push me past my physical and psychological limits in the hopes that I would just give up; many trainees did, after all. This kind of adversity is what I faced spring, summer, and fall while training with “Company A”. But let me tell you the outcome.

Hi guys! Here I sit…at my computer…trying to write my third installment of “My Three Goals.” I’m having a wee bit of trouble. My third Goal is going to be a tough one and it has everything to do with “Trust.”

As a young girl growing up in the Deep South during the 60’s, my life was full of wonder. I lived on the most magical street a growing mind could ever hope for. Our house was right across the street from the town baseball field where my brother played his Little League games. I would sit in the stands eating boiled peanuts from a small paper bag, laughing with my friends and cheering my brother on. Although, I think I did more boiled peanut eating than cheering…if we’re going to be honest. The city’s only Recreation Center was next to the ball field. During the day and on weekends you could find my brother and me playing board games with other kids in the area. My brother and his friends played baseball, basketball and even attempted tennis at the courts behind the rec center. At night, especially on the weekends, the local high school students would hold dances there. It was a large place with glass from floor to ceiling on our side of the building. On dance nights, you could find us sitting on the ground outside right beside where the band was playing and just dancing away. The kids even took to bringing us in to be a part of the party. Sounds like a child’s dream come true. Well, it was…for me, but there’s more.

Have you ever taken the time to consider the emotions you put into your day? How do you feel about taking your morning shower? How do you feel about that first cup of coffee? What about the last sip? What is your reaction to starting the car? Can you even remember starting the car?

Do your days zip by without you being able to remember much? What about your memories of your childhood? Do you remember the words and actions as much as the emotion? How many commercials on TV are purely fact based vs. trying to hit you where it emotionally counts?

I (like most of you that keep up with Mordant) am an adventure seeking, goal setting, self-motivated junkie. Before I even achieve ONE of my goals, I’m already marking off the next thing on my list. I currently have a list the length of the Mississippi River that just keeps growing.

It’s so important to have goals and dreams and to make plans, but something I’m sure you’ve all learned as well is that you probably can talk the talk most of the time, but end up failing when you have to walk the walk.

About a year ago I discovered that I am a GREAT talker but could barely crawl, let alone walk. The goal at the top of my list that I wanted to achieve was weight loss; I have struggled with my weight for quite some time and was sick of saying, “enough is enough” or “my diet starts tomorrow” and not really meaning it.

Last month I shared my first Goal for 2013 which was To Learn More. I’ve purchased a couple of new books to read…mostly self-helpy…and I’m eyeing a mystery or two that kinda intrigue me. It’s a start, but you’re here to find out what my next goal is. My second Goal for 2013 fits quite nicely into our February theme here on Success Freaks. My Second Goal, quite simply, is to learn to love myself more…to treat myself better than I have…to make my wants, my needs, my happiness a priority. Easier said than done…

It’s a really good quote and so very appropriate for this Goal. (Thanks Mordant) It seems like I’ve spent most of my life trying to please others. I always try to go out of my way to make sure my friends, family, and even complete strangers are happy. If someone expresses a desire for something, I try to make sure they get it. While this may be quite noble, thoughtful or whatever, it’s also allowed me to push myself into more debt than I should be swimming in. Up until recently, I’ve never said “No” to anyone that asked anything of me. Even if I knew I would have to add to my credit card debt, even if it meant I would have to sacrifice something I wanted/needed, even if it meant I would have to suck it up and do something I really wasn’t comfortable with…even if it meant that I would be cast in a dark light just to make someone else shine.

I define mental hoarding as having and continuing to amass vast amounts of information, usually on the same topic (self-help, in my case), and being unable to put it into practice, due to an overload of contradictory data or seeking more information before thinking a choice of action can be made.

I feel I have suffered from this type mental hoarding. I’ve told myself for years that I had a love of self-help information – books, TV shows, audio tapes, and podcasts, to name a few. My need to consume information would wax and wane as events in my life passed, but if a good source crossed my path, I would snatch it up immediately. I wouldn’t always consume it, but I knew I could at anytime that it was needed. However, the only times I tried to use empowering self-help information were when things were not going the way I wanted them to. For over 20 years, I consumed knowledge. But with all the information, nothing seemed to stick. I always sought out more information, more knowledge, more something that I thought would be the key to actually accomplishing something.

I’m taking a page from my fellow Success Freaks team members this year. Instead of making New Year’s Resolutions, I decided to go with Goals. Now, I have way more than three Goals for 2013, but I can’t put them all here (Well, I could, but I won’t), so I decided to go with just the top three. Want me to share?
Might as well say “yes”, because Imma gonna anyway.

This month you get my ramblings about one of them.

Goal #1Learn more!
This is important to me. I am constantly reading, researching, and trying all sorts of new things. It keeps my mind open to new ideas and concepts. It makes me feel more accomplished. And… it teaches me so much about life, other people, and myself. But wait, I don’t just want to learn about things that will help me in my work… Oh no, no, no. I want to learn about other places, other cultures…other ideals. I want to feel like a World Traveler even if I never step foot out of the US. Don’t get me wrong, I do want to become a World Traveler, but that’s a Goal for another day.

I’ve recently started watching The West Wing on Netflix.
I love Netflix with its’ lack of commercials and full seasons to watch.
When the series was running on tv, I didn’t care to watch it. I thought it was all about politics. I’m really not a political gal and figured I’d be bored with it, so I never gave it a chance. You’re probably thinking that now that I’ve started “enjoying” it I feel pretty stupid for not watching in the first place. You’d be wrong, but I get that you would think that. I just think the timing was off. The lessons I’m learning from the show now would have been lost on me had I watched it as a series way back when. Although I am kinda learning about the inner workings of the White House (I’m sure some of the content is correct), I’m learning more about human nature than anything. How people interact, that everyone makes mistakes, how to handle disappointment in yourself and others, how to succeed… and that it’s really okay to get close to people you work with. All are really good things to learn and know.

Obviously, I don’t plan to get all of my education from television. I’ve always been an avid reader and plan to continue reading everything I possibly can, but nowadays I’m more prone to pick up a biography, self-help book, or even a tutorial or two to help me with my work. That’s not to say I won’t enjoy the occasional comic book (yes, I do read them) and the latest “best seller”, I just plan to broaden my selection and interests.

So…that’s Goal #1. And…this is ME daring YOU to share YOUR goals with us on our Success Freaks facebook page.

See you next month for Goal #2.

Love and laughter to all…

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There are perfect days, when the sun is shining, birds are singing, and babies giggle in joy at the site of you. Then, there are those dark days When Things Don’t Go Your Way. You know, the ones where you lose your keys, drop your phone in the toilet, and the dog uses the remote […]