(Two notes: 1. yes, this post is about shoes, but I’ll mostly be talking about how we spent Sunday afternoon, because that’s what’s in the forefront of my mind. 2. mattress manufacturer names have been changed to obvious, cute versions of themselves. Because who cares.)

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The fiancé and I spent the whole afternoon in Bloomingdale’s today, and it was heavenly. They were having a sale, and we were on a mission: to find the perfect mattress for our future. What does “the perfect mattress” mean to us? It means no back pain and a good, rhythmic bounce. Yep, wherever your mind just went with that, that’s what is meant by rhythmic bounce. And let’s just say we didn’t reject those Schmemperschmedics because they sleep hot; it was the complete, immobilizing absorption of movement that canned them for us. Because one thing I know for sure is that I don’t want to have to work out excessively just to be strong enough to counteract the quick-sand that is my foam mattress.

Anyway, crazy turn of events; somehow we entered the store through the shoe section. Oops! I didn’t side-track us for too long, but I definitely came across some numba one stunnas as I combed the rows and tables of designer shoe land (while he patiently waited). So, as you search for that perfect shoe for your wedding day, – whether it’s for you or for your bridesmaids – consider these, my top picks for that long, graceful (and hopefully not too painful) walk down the aisle!

… But, if you’ll indulge me, I’m going to get back to sharing this story from yesterday…

Ok, so if you Tweet with me, or if you’re one of my real-life friends to whom I bitch about how shittay our mattress is, then you already know that the boy and I have been on an odyssey for a half-way decent mattress for the last, say, entire length of our relationship. Let me start off by saying that we made the biggest mistake possible in the art of mattress buying when we went with “a connection” we thought we had at Schmeepy’s. This was a wrong assumption, and I still can’t believe we actually went and purchased something without first googling the company. We were morons back then – or as a therapist would say, we behaved moronically. (By the way, I’m shocked that the word “Googling” hasn’t reached WordPress dictionary status yet, according to my spell checker. Wow, I am also shocked that “WordPress” isn’t in my WordPress dictionary according to my spell checker. FAIL.) Long story short, be sure to google a company before you purchase a horrible mattress from them. And then have to stay home from work all day to have one of their independent contractors come to your apartment at her leisure and measure if the sagging is deep enough to warrant a replacement mattress. Which, by the way, is totally a matter of winning the independent contractor over, which we (I) did. But we got another shittay mattress to replace the first, so another fail. More shoes!

Moral of the story: unless you’re flat broke and there aren’t any available mattresses on the curb in or around the Lower East Side area of New York City, do not purchase a mattress from Cheapy’s. While we’ve all heard the occasional success story with that company, the Better Business Bureau has all the answers you’d ever need to prove it’s a doomsday scenario. More shoes!

A final note: we did leave having purchased a high quality mattress (yippee!!!). Once it arrives and I feel good enough about the purchase to spread the word about it, I will update you with the deets. But, given our previous record insofar as mattress selection, I can’t in good faith share the name before I feel confident we’ve got a winner. Cross your fingers, please! Last shoe!