Yoga Bro Opening the Fuck Out of His Chakras

Saying he was feeling especially calm and centered after Emma’s Vinyasa flow class, Yoga bro Asher Bennett noted that he was “opening the fuck” out of his chakras during today’s meditation session.

“I fuckin’ crushed that Prana mudra then busted straight into a Shavasana,” said Bennett while resting in Child’s Pose. “You pussies ever seen some shit like that?”

Bennett is known throughout his gym for the hard hours he puts in at Emma’s morning class as well as Serenity’s Hot Yoga class on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Other Yoga regulars claim he holds the gym record with a personal best 52 Sun Salutations in a row.

“Yeah, Asher’s a fucking beast,” said Yoga partner Mitchell Wees. “I’ve seen him go through a whole Ashtanga primary series and barely break a sweat. Fucking savage.”

Bennett tries to remain humble about his Yoga prowess, saying it is not a natural talent but was earned through years of hard work on the mat.

“I knew my Root and Navel chakras were feeling pretty fuckin’ good, but once I hit that Crown chakra it opened up a killer inner Light,” said Bennett. “Now it’s time to hit the juice bar with my bros and crush some lemongrass shots. I’m feeling mindful as fuck.”