If you’re looking for a way to be antisocial by staring at your wrist, you found it. If you need more advice before purchasing this new antisocial device, read the following five mediocre reasons to get a phone watch (and one really good reason not to).

5 Mediocre Reasons to Get a Phone Watch

1. You suddenly become way more interesting to talk to. Seriously. I was telling someone about how my great grandfather was a freedom fighter with Mahatma Gandhi and the person replied, “Tell me more about the watch.”

2. You’ll start getting invited to rich people’s parties because people think you have money. After all, you did just spend over $100 on a watch that does everything your phone in your pocket does. Unless you’re like me and got the watch for a special deal by trading in your old phone and one of your kidneys—both of which are pretty useless.

3. Your reliability might go way up. Your wrist buzzes when you receive messages so theoretically you can message them back instantly. It’s also an easy way to let people know you’re ignoring them.

4. You could become less lazy. With the pedometer and exercise functions that track your movements and calories burned in a day, you have a constant reminder of how lazy you’ve been. The pedometer buzzes when you hit your steps goal, which you can customize. You might be slightly more active in order to meet your goal. Or you learn to reduce your steps goal so you never have to experience failure.

5. It tells you the time.

1 Really Good Reason to Not Get a Phone Watch

1. As an ambivalent owner of a phone watch, I can assure you that you will look cool and find interesting uses for the watch, but none of those functions are necessary. I once forgot my phone watch at home for two days and somehow life moved on.

Please forgive any typos and inadvertent elitist tone in this article as this message was written from Kasha’s phone watch.

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