For all of those us who will be spending this Valentine’s Day at home watching TV and playing video games (because we totally don’t need a girlfriend to define who we are and Valentine’s Day is just a holiday made up by the corporations to take our money), we’ve compiled a list of 12 of the most awesome bitter love songs.

12. Sister Sisters | Kiss You Off

As Scissor Sisters’ vocalist Ana Matronic put it: “It’s not a love song, it’s a falling-out-of-love song… It’s about knowing you’re better than how you’re being treated in a relationship and getting the fuck out… and then telling him to kiss your ass!”

11. Reel Big Fish | All I Want Is More

This song has one of my favorite bitter-ex lines ever: “Some day, maybe you’ll come back to me and I’ll say, “Why don’t you go fuck yourself?” Pure poetry!

10. The Heavy | How You Like Me Now

The Heavy’s “How You Like Me Now” is kind of a head-scratcher when it comes to love. According to singer Kelvin Swaby, this song is about basically trying to get your lady to break it off with you (i.e. showing off that you cheated on her with another woman).

Fast Fact: These dudes get extra credit for legally ordering Newt Gingrich to stop using this song in his 2012 Presidential Campaign. Bruce Springsteen would be proud.

09. Fitz & The Tantrums | MoneyGrabber

You ever have that boyfriend or girlfriend who relies on you for everything? You have to keep gettin’ em out of trouble because they can’t do anything on their own? Imagine that as a song sung by a new-age Four Tops.

08. Alanis Morissette | You Oughta Know

This song made Alanis Morissette the poster-child for bitter, angry female rockers. When you realize the song is about Full House’s Uncle Joey, the line “Does she go down on you in a theater” just got much more awkward.

07. Mike Posner & The Brain Trust | Evil Woman

Using a sample of the ELO classic, Mike Posner throws in his signature pop/dance twist. I guess the message has transcended generations: Never trust them womens, yo.

06. Cake | I Will Survive

This is one of my all-time favorite covers. Gloria Gaynor’s original disco hit about not letting a no-good significant other come back into your life, the Cake version is much more stripped-down and subtle (as all of Cake’s songs are). They also throw a little F-bomb in there for good measure.

05. Soft Cell | Tainted Love

Sometimes you just feel so trapped in a relationship that you just have to break out, like a caged tiger or lion or some other awesome cat-like creature (Jaguar?). This is another fantastic cover of a classic soul track, but Soft Cell’s synth version is undeniably one of the most recognizable songs of the 80s.

04. J. Geils Band | Love Stinks

If you’ve ever seen The Wedding Singer (I hope you all have) then you know why this song is on the list. For the truly scorned and bitter, the thought of seeing people in love makes you want to puke.

03. Eamon | Fuck It

One of the truly great send-offs to a cheating girlfriend, Eamon is basically saying what we are all thinking when you found out your lover has found another (Spoiler: A LOT OF F-BOMBS).

02. Mark Morrison | Return of the Mack

“Return of the Mack” is what we would like to imagine our newly-single life will be like, if only to shove it in the face of our ex. In reality, we are sitting at home watching Netflix, eating ice cream, and looking through old Facebook photos.

01. The Vandals | My Girlfriend’s Dead

Let’s say your girlfriend dumps you, and people keep bugging you about it: “Where is [Insert hussie’s name here]?” “Why did you guys break up?” “Are you okay?” What if, instead of answering all of these painful questions, you just told everyone she was dead? You may not enjoy The Vandals’ party-punk sound, but “My Girlfriend’s Dead” is one of the most imaginative and hilarious post-breakup burn songs EVER.

And a few more fun videos to get you all through the lonely nights… featuring Adam Sandler. Enjoy!

This year, instead of bringing you the most crunk Christmas songs, we have decide to give you the most ridiculous. These tracks range from songs about a gathering of pimps to a murderous cowboy Santa Claus. If you’re sick of hearing “Have Yourself a Merry Christmas” and “Let It Snow” every year, spice it up with some totally insane Christmas jams!

12. Run-DMC | “Christmas In Hollis”

This has been one of my all-time favorite Christmas songs since I was a kid. Something about finding Santa’s wallet sounded like a good time to me.

11. Ludacris | “Ludacrismas”

I feel like Luda could have gone completely HAM with this track if he hadn’t recorded it specifically for the steaming pile of Christmas crap that was Fred Claus. Still, throwing a thumping beat on top of “Here Comes Santa Claus” puts this track on the list of crunk Christmas tunes.

10. No Doubt | “Oi to the World”

This song was originally written by Orange County punkers The Vandals, but the No Doubt version is more up beat, even for a song about a punk and a skinhead agreeing to fight on a rooftop on Christmas Day. (Spoiler: They end up becoming chums and spend Christmas getting drunk together… you know, because it’s Christmas and all).

9. Outkast | “Player’s Ball”

A gathering of pimps on Christmas Day sounds like a fun time to me, no? One of Outkast’s early jams, it showcases their Southern laid-back flows and g-funk style.

8. Nate Dogg & Snoop Dogg | “Santa Claus Goes Straight To The Ghetto”

Man, I miss Nate Dogg. He could make any song sound like it belonged on the Dolemite soundtrack. This is a take on James Brown’s “Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto,” albeit with a much more g-funk vibe, and Snoop’s nonsensical rhyming about Christmas stuff.

7. Dirty Boyz | “All I Want For Christmas Is To Get It Crunk”

The title says everything you need to know about this song.

6. Ying Yang Twins | “Sleigh Ride”

What’s really hilarious about this Ying Yang Twins Christmas banger is that you can tell they legitimately put thought into it. It has a nice, pop hook, and they really only ask Santa for peace on Earth (and rims for the Bentley, of course).

5. The 69 Boyz | “What You Want For Christmas”

This is exactly what you would expect from the group that did the 90s smash-hit “Tootsie Roll.” Seriously, it’s like the exact same beat and everything.

4. Pansy Division | “Homo Christmas”

Openly gay musician Jon Ginoli started Pansy Division in the early 90s because he was frustrated with a lack of openly gay indie artists. “Homo Christmas” is what I imagine Ginoli wrote to poke fun at people that didn’t understand homosexuality, especially with lines like “Licking nipples/Licking nuts/Putting candy canes/Up each other’s butts.”

3. The Killers | “Don’t Shoot Me Santa”

The idea of Santa reaping vengeance upon the wicked of the world is bad ass, if you ask me. If you really think about the lyrics, I’m pretty sure the kid in this song killed a bunch of other kids that would pick on him. I don’t know what darkness Brandon Flowers was getting into, but I’m just going to focus on the Santa being a gun-slinging hard ass.

2. Ying Yang Twins | “Deck Da Club”

A Christmas song for the strip club, you say? By the Ying Yang Twins? How could this NOT be utterly ridiculous? Take “Deck The Halls,” add banging bass, the notorious Ying Yang Twins “Ahhhh!” strung throughout, and terrible lines like “Deck the club with piles of money,” and you’ve got a Ying Yang Twins Christmas classic!

1. Eazy-E | “Merry Muthaphukkin Christmas”

A Dolemite introduction, followed by about 6 minutes of Eazy-E utterly destroying every Christmas carol with a medley about guns, hoes, money, cars, cop-killin’, and all other aspects of the gangsta lifestyle. Merry Muthafuckin’ Christmas, everyone!

To say Yeezus was an utter disappointment to me, may be a little harsh, but if you think about it, Kanye’s latest (and overly-hyped) album just sounded like a continuation of Watch The Throne and G.O.O.D. Music’s Cruel Summer. It all sounded the same to me. And this is coming from someone who has worshiped Yeezy from College Dropout. I thought he could do no wrong, musically, until Yeezus. The one stand-out track is “Bound 2,” a soulful jam that recalls Kanye’s first 3 albums.

He brings out Charlie Wilson and The Roots to play the track with him, and it’s pure hip hop beauty that reminds me why I always forget Ye’s shortcomings (except for Kanye’s outfit, I can’t forgive that).

Well, we’ve made it to the Top 20. This is where things got really difficult for me. I mean, each of these could easily be in anyone’s Top 10. Each one is a classic, in it’s own right, and you won’t be disappointed.