Teen Advice: How to Tell if Someone Likes You

By Kathryn Rateliff Barr

When someone likes you, you find ways to have fun together.

Sometimes you wonder whether someone really likes you, especially if the words you hear and the actions you see don’t send the same message. Actions are more truthful and reliable than words, writes relationship coach Janet Ong Zimmerman, in “7 Undeniable Signs He Loves You.” Body language is also a reliable indicator that someone likes you. Look for the signs mankind has used for centuries.

Humor Leads the Way

When someone likes you, he responds to your humor, suggests psychology professor Norman Li in “Want to Know If Someone Likes You?” Your jokes will get an appreciative chuckle, even if your comments lack real humor. Sharing humor indicates that you are on the same page. When your jokes fall flat, it may indicate that the person you told the joke to doesn't like you.

The Signs Are There

Your gut could give you clues. If that that special someone gets in touch, spends time with you and pays attention when you are together, she probably likes you. If you linger when your friends scamper off and she hangs back to stay with you, there’s a good chance that she is attracted to you. If she becomes shy when she isn't shy around others, she probably likes you, asserts KidsHealth.

Actions Count

Some people, especially guys, could have difficulty expressing their feelings verbally, so you will need to pay more attention to actions than words. Someone who likes you treats you with kindness, consideration, affection and interest, asserts Zimmerman. He makes excuses to be around you. He offers to carry your books or get a drink for you. He helps you with a difficult homework problem or asks for your help. He talks to his friend about you and might ask your friend about you.

His Body Language

Watch a guy to see if he stands up straighter, squares his shoulder and plants his feet firmly on the ground when you're around, writes behavioral researcher Vanessa Van Edwards in “The Body Language of Attraction,” as these are signs of attraction. He may watch to see if you notice him, casually swagger over and lean in when you are talking or responding to him. If he likes you, his body is pointed in your direction; he may get flustered when you talk to him, have difficulty getting his words out or blush.

Her Body Language

A girl demonstrates she likes you by flirting, tossing her hair, tilting her head and gazing at you when you talk, according to Van Edwards. Other signs include a wide-eyed gaze when she catches your eye, smoothing her clothes to call attention to her body, smiling, licking her lips and fiddling with her hair or makeup, writes anthropologist Helen Fisher in “The Biology of Attraction.” If she likes you, you are the focus of her attention, not someone else.

About the Author

Rev. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994. She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children. She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana. Studies include midwifery, naturopathy and other alternative therapies.