Sexual-abuse victim refused to stay silent; Took uncle to court in bid for closure and to highlight violence in South Asian families

Susan Lazaruk, The Province01.08.2014

Victoria Waters was sexually abused by her uncle for years from around the age of nine. She is still waitingto collect more than $400,000 in damages after successfully suing him and her aunt.Colin Payne
/ Special to the Province

Victoria Waters was sexually abused by her uncle for years from around the age of nine. She is still waitingto collect more than $400,000 in damages after successfully suing him and her aunt.Colin Payne
/ Special to the Province

Victoria Waters knew the decision to go public about the years of sexual abuse she endured at the hands of her guardian uncle was going to be difficult, especially since he was a prominent businessman in the East Indian community in Chilliwack.

But she knew she would have to endure the public scrutiny of her life as a childhood victim of sexual abuse to shine a light on her family's dark secret and move past the pain.

"You really have to leave your dignity at the door of the courtroom," said Waters, 54, who lives in Nelson with her husband and two daughters. "I turned myself inside out."

How she was able to cope with her abusive past, and to show others they can do the same, has earned Waters the Courage to Come Back Award in the social-adversity category. Her story, sadly, isn't finished. Waters is still fighting to collect more than $400,000, which the courts awarded her three years ago.

Waters was discouraged to learn it was up to her to pursue collection in the civil court system.

"Victims shouldn't be left to try to collect from their abusers," she said.

Waters, who was given the name Victoria at birth by hospital nurses before receiving her Sikh name, Karamjeet Kour Singh, lost her mother in a car accident when she was young.

She and a younger brother were sent by their father to live with Bains, a prominent Sikh leader in the Fraser Valley, when she was nine. The abuse, which included beatings and oral and anal sex, lasted until she left the home after graduating high school.

When, as a 12-year-old, she begged her aunt not to leave her alone with her uncle because of his abuse, the aunt, aided by the girl's grandmother, responded by taking her to have a contraceptive device fitted.

Waters said she made the decision to sue her uncle and aunt because she realized she wasn't alone and hoped her example would inspire others to do the same. "My lawyer's been contacted by South Asian women," she said. "He told me he still gets calls because of my case."

Waters said she supports a proposal to pass the Uniform Civil Enforcement of Money Judgments Act by the B.C. Law Reform Group, which calls the system for enforcing money judgments in B.C. "archaic, fragmentary and inefficient." She also has publicly spoken about her case.

Her daughter, Kaitlind Waters, who nominated her mother for the award, said, "[My mother is a] woman who courageously stood up to her family in the name of justice . . . and who has devoted her time, energy and heart and soul to being the voice of others who have suffered from childhood sexual abuse.

"This subject is not only taboo in her South Asian background, it is a difficult subject for most victims to talk about," she added.

When Waters spoke at a forum on the issue of violence against women in the South Asian community, despite several Sikh elders from trying to stop her, she received a standing ovation. There was a long lineup of women who wanted to share their stories with her afterwards.

"As my mother took the patience and time to chat with them privately, I could see the look on their faces of relief," said Kaitlind.

Waters said she needs to collect on the judgment to have closure because winning a public case against her uncle and aunt wasn't enough.

"The only thing that hurts them is the money," she said.

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Sexual-abuse victim refused to stay silent; Took uncle to court in bid for closure and to highlight violence in South Asian families

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