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Protecting your kids from online dangerSun, 18 Feb 2018 04:06:45 +0000en-UShourly1https://protectyoungeyes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/ProtectYoungEyes-Icon-CMYK-150x150.jpgProtect Young Eyeshttps://protectyoungeyes.com
3232No Social Media Until High School #waitingislovinghttps://protectyoungeyes.com/no-social-media-until-high-school-waitingisloving/
https://protectyoungeyes.com/no-social-media-until-high-school-waitingisloving/#respondThu, 15 Feb 2018 07:52:09 +0000https://protectyoungeyes.com/?p=20959The Protect Young Eyes team is confused. Our speaking team has over six decades working with families in various teaching and ministry roles. None of us has ever met a parent who flat-out didn’t care about the safety of their children. Not one. We’ve met...

Our speaking team has over six decades working with families in various teaching and ministry roles. None of us has ever met a parent who flat-out didn’t care about the safety of their children. Not one. We’ve met parents who weren’t very good at parenting. But if you were to ask them, “do you care about the safety of your children?” even bad parents will typically say yes.

Too Many Young People with Too Much Social Media

Three weeks ago, I spoke to around 900 total students at a public middle school in a typical rural community. This is a strong community with a strong faith foundation. As is our preference, I was able to speak to each grade separately, which afforded me the opportunity to tailor the message to each grade and hone in on issues specific to each grade. For example, with the eighth grade students, I could link internet permanence to their future college applications, athletic scholarships, and jobs.

For sixth grade, I began by asking all 300 of them to raise their hands if they had at least one social media account of their own. I’m pretty decent with numbers and estimate that 70% of the gym raised their hands.

Most kids were 11. A handful were 12. None were 13.

This is common in our talks. No matter what type of school (public or private) or what type of community (urban or rural) or what part of the country, the results of our informal polls of kids in grades 3-6 are the same.

Too many kids have access to too many digital spaces that they just aren’t ready for.

The Perplexing Gap in our Digital Parenting

So, back to our confusion. We’re left wondering “why?”

Why do parents who are concerned about the safety of their children make consistently reckless digital parenting choices?

What we’ve found is that there’s this perplexing gap that exists between what parents tell us (“I’m concerned about the safety of my child”) and the decisions these same parents are making (“We gave our sixth grade son an iPhone for Christmas”).

This means:

Either they’re lying when they tell us they’re concerned about safety (unlikely), or

They don’t know that what they’re doing is risky. They have no context for the risk because they grew up “analog” and they simply don’t know what they don’t know (likely).

The Grace Period for Ignorant Parenting is Over

The Internet as we know it (ignoring its military infancy) is 28 years old.

The iPhone is now a decade old.

We have enough peer reviewed science to know that glowing screens are impacting the brains of our precious young people.

We know with certainty that teens are acquiring a distorted view of love through pornography and are becoming exposed early and often, hopelessly hooked to the dopamine rush, and are abusing each other.

We know through individuals like Sean Parker in the video below that social media giants have been knowingly exploiting the psychological weakness in most human beings that craves purpose and significance.

Listen – middle school doesn’t need more drama! It’s a stage of life when kids are searching for identity and their place in the pack. It’s an unfortunate coincidence that this is often the time we open up their precious hearts to the unrelenting, immoral, and distorted messages that come with open access to YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat, and Google.

The grace period for parental ignorance is over. It’s time to stop the madness. It’s time to parent differently. It’s time to say “no” more often. Your kid won’t die or become a social outcast without a smartphone. It’s time to get together with other parents and collectively decide that kids don’t need a screen to survive (we love the Wait Until 8th Movement). It’s time to call out Snapchat and Instagram for what they really are.

Snapchat was never intended for kids – let’s not forget Snapchat’s roots. It was created as a college sexting platform. It now boasts features that admittedly prey on vulnerable teenage anxiety tendencies (the Snapstreak) and a Discover section rife with sex, explicit words, and edgy cultural trends, with no ability to turn it off. This is an app for kids who are at least 15 years old. I took screenshots of miscellaneous articles from Sunday, February 11, 2018, and this is what we found:

Instagram has a massive pornography problem – Instagram has zero filters and zero parental controls. You can now follow hashtags full of filth. Quick searches provide instant access to XXX content. And, if you’re a parent, there’s no way to stop it or know that it has happened. In fact, we can get to hardcore, streaming sex, masturbation, and more in around six seconds, and then erase the evidence. Don’t believe me? Then watch the video below. Kids know all about this. Parents need to wake up (this is one of the many reasons why we believe Instagram is also at least an age 15+ app).

2018 is the year of the parent. It’s time to be one.

#waitingisloving

Most of what parents hate about technology is our fault. Too many screens. Too many accounts. Too busy to notice. Too tired to say no. Too many principals cleaning up messes that started at home. And, then too many parents complaining that the principals aren’t doing enough.

This isn’t a principal problem (although some could do more).

This isn’t a Snapchat problem (although the app could give us parental controls).

This isn’t an iPhone problem (although Apple could give us more parental controls).

This isn’t a teenager problem (although they could certainly make better choices).

What we have is primarily a parenting problem. #waitingisloving

Let’s get back to basics. Checkers. Dinnertime together. Device-free car rides. Face-to-face. Monopoly. Solitaire. Yes, some screens. I’m not telling everyone to join an Amish community and disconnect completely. But, put off access to social media as long as possible and seriously take stock and ask yourself if based on the evidence, your parenting decisions line up with your concerns.

#waitingisloving. 2018 is the year of the parent. Protect Young Eyes is here to help.

Frequently Asked Question:

Q: Chris, so, do we just wait until high school to teach them everything? That doesn’t seem right either?

A: This is a great objection, and it was raised in a Facebook comment. If I said, “I don’t think kids should drive until age 16,” that wouldn’t mean I’m also against putting kids through a rigorous training program before putting them behind the wheel. The same holds true with social media! Our motto is:

Tell them no, but train them as if you’ll eventually say “yes.”

This means we absolutely place them in well-controlled digital environments long before they navigate solo, so we can see how they respond. We provide practical examples of how this training might look in our popular post, What’s the Right Age to Give my Kid Social Media?

Thank you, Heather, for asking this question!

Now What? Do this in the next 24 hours!

Are you ready to have awesome conversations with your kids about how to use their technology well? Please visit our Protect Young Eyes Parent University, where you’ll find videos to watch with your kids, creating common vocabulary and awesome chats. Sometimes, when kids hear someone else talk about awkward things, it helps them really hear it for the first time. Please visit the PYE Parent University today!

]]>https://protectyoungeyes.com/no-social-media-until-high-school-waitingisloving/feed/0Google Quits Chromebook Supervised Usershttps://protectyoungeyes.com/google-quits-chromebook-supervised-users/
https://protectyoungeyes.com/google-quits-chromebook-supervised-users/#commentsSat, 13 Jan 2018 05:00:16 +0000https://protectyoungeyes.com/?p=20651Supervised Users Were an Awesome Google Feature In a dumbfounding move, on January 12, 2018, Google froze its Supervised User functionality. For many families, this move renders their Chromebooks as unsafe. Google Chromebooks have been sold by the millions, used by schools and families as...

In a dumbfounding move, on January 12, 2018, Google froze its Supervised User functionality. For many families, this move renders their Chromebooks as unsafe.

Google Chromebooks have been sold by the millions, used by schools and families as an inexpensive, fast, and uncomplicated way to get online. Although the Chrome OS made these devices difficult to monitor and filter through traditional parental control software methods, Google had a feature called Supervised Users, giving parents extensive control over a child’s web activity.

But, on January 8, 2018, many parents like me received the following e-mail from Google:

Here’s a summary:

We’re taking Supervised Users away. You can still enjoy the Supervised Users you created before January 12, but as a parent, you can’t review the sites they’ve visited, adjust a black/white list, or really do anything other have Google Safe Search.

It really is a shocking move. And, parents are extremely upset. In one Google Forum, parents were relentless and punishing toward Google, as exemplified with this comment:

“[Google] can we have the real scoop here – what’s going on, why would Google do this, and why the rush to deprecate? Did you discover some major security flaw in supervised users or something? I can’t believe Google is in such financial straits that it needed to fire the team working on this immediately, especially since it barely changed in years. Nor can I believe that its advertising revenue was so negatively impacted by children not being able to click around. What is happening and why should parents ever invest in Google products or commit to using its services again?”

How do Parents Monitor Chromebooks without Supervised Users?

There are a few, but limited options. If the Chromebook is school-issued, and the school is monitoring browsing activity even when the Chromebook is outside of its network, then the deprecation of Supervised Users isn’t as big of a parental concern. But, if you own the Chromebook and/or a school-issued Chromebook is not monitored outside of the school’s network, then parents will need to take some action.

[PS. If you’re not sure if your school-issued Chromebook is monitored outside of the school’s network, then ask questions until you find out. This is important to know. And, if it is monitored, does the school have a reporting process back to parents if inappropriate sites are visited? Again, dig until you find an answer.]

1. Use OpenDNS to monitor the home network.

OpenDNS is a free domain-blocking service to block web sites or non-Web servers visited based upon categories, allowing control over the type of sites that may be accessed. For families, this is a must, so that you can have greater assurance that visitors aren’t using your wireless signal inappropriately.

3. Make the parent the Chromebook Administrator.

4. Turn off Chromebook guest browsing.

5. Limit other Chromebook users.

We explain how to make the Parent the Administrator (and how to perform a factory reset so that the parent can make him/herself the Administrator), turn off guest browsing, and limit unauthorized logins in the Device section of Protect Young Eyes.

If you choose not to do these things, then please treat the Chromebook like a high-risk device.

This means being hyper vigilant about when and where it’s used. No bedrooms. Never at night. Only used public places. Homework use only (and clearly communicate the consequences if these restrictions are abused). Parents, the unfiltered internet is never a place for kids (or parents) to be wandering through unattended.

Our Conclusion: Google Doesn’t Understand Parents

The Protect Young Eyes team is shocked by this move. But, based on Google’s lack of consistent YouTube parental controls, recent revelations about inadequate monitoring of YouTube Kids video content, undetected pedophile activity in comments on videos containing children, and now, the extinction of their best parent feature without a replacement, we have less and less faith in the digital giants who control our online interactions (Facebook, Google, Snapchat, etc.).

**We have an Exciting Announcement!!

For our faith-based followers, we are on the verge of releasing a streaming curriculum that teaches media savvy kids and their families how to honor God with technology. It’s called Virtue in Media, and it will include videos for schools, church youth groups, home educators, and parents to use with kids about relevant digital topics (pornography, predators, bullies, image, etc.). Want to be the first to know when Virtue in Media is ready? Leave your email on the landing page by clicking here.

]]>https://protectyoungeyes.com/google-quits-chromebook-supervised-users/feed/7Set Parental Controls on Christmas Presentshttps://protectyoungeyes.com/parental-controls-christmas-devices/
https://protectyoungeyes.com/parental-controls-christmas-devices/#commentsSun, 10 Dec 2017 06:36:12 +0000https://protectyoungeyes.com/?p=19161Parental Controls for Every Tech Gift Christmas is just weeks away! Which means you might have a child who is receiving a new Internet-ready device this year. If that’s true, have you considered how to enable parental controls or what filtering and monitoring service will...

Christmas is just weeks away! Which means you might have a child who is receiving a new Internet-ready device this year. If that’s true, have you considered how to enable parental controls or what filtering and monitoring service will work best?

If not, no worries. We want to help!

Here is a list of popular internet-ready gadgets, and explanations and videos explaining the parental controls that exist for each device, updated for 2017. If any of these items are showing up under your Christmas tree this year, then please spend at least a few minutes understanding how to protect your precious young people from online dangers:

Our hope is that these write-ups answer many of your questions or at least get you started in the right direction. It’s our dual goal at Protect Young Eyes to not only educate parents, but also protect kids.

Bottom Line: Do Something about Parental Controls

In its unfiltered state, the Internet is a black hole of risk. No child (or adult for that matter) should be left to navigate the unfiltered Internet alone. With well over one billion websites, and some estimates putting the amount of pornographic content at over 20%, parents must be observant, engaged, and informed when giving their children Internet-ready devices.

If Santa is in the mood for gadgets this year, then our hope is that he’s also in the mood to protect the little ones in your home.

Now What? Do this in the next 24 hours!

Now that your devices are protected, are you ready to have awesome conversations with your kids about how to use their technology well? Please visit our Protect Young Eyes Parent University, where you’ll find videos to watch with your kids, creating common vocabulary, and awesome chats. Sometimes, when kids hear someone else talk about awkward things, it helps them really hear it for the first time. Please visit the PYE Parent University today!

]]>https://protectyoungeyes.com/parental-controls-christmas-devices/feed/1Screen Time and Kids – 5 Recommendationshttps://protectyoungeyes.com/screen-time-kids-parental-control-5-recommendations/
https://protectyoungeyes.com/screen-time-kids-parental-control-5-recommendations/#commentsMon, 06 Nov 2017 10:30:44 +0000https://protectyoungeyes.com/?p=20298Screen Time – How Much is Too Much? [2600 words – in-depth – 8 minute read] “Chris, how much screen time should I give my kid?” This is the burning question for many parents and educators today, and we hear it often. No one seems...

“Chris, how much screen time should I give my kid?” This is the burning question for many parents and educators today, and we hear it often. No one seems to know exactly the right screen time answer, but everyone feels like kids spend too much time on screens.

Some say that glowing screens may be good for kids – an interactive educational tool. Others are skeptical.

I recently met with the Curriculum Coordinator for a large public school near Grand Rapids. We were creating a strategy for informing parents in the district about digital risks and solutions for protecting their kids. At the end of our meeting, he asked:

“Chris, have other educators talked to you about their younger grades? Kindergarten, first, and second grade? It’s almost impossible to get them to sit still. The teachers are saying it’s getting more and more difficult to keep their attention. These are teachers with decades of experience. They know kids. Is it the technology? Are they getting too much at home? What are you seeing?”

I had to admit that other educators had expressed similar concerns to me during in-class presentations that we do around the country.

Recently, I decided to read the book Glow Kids by Dr. Nicholas Kardaras. It turns out that Dr. Kardaras has been counseling kids with troubling digital behaviors for years and has discovered screen time patterns worth sharing.

Kids and Screens – Why is the Glow So Addictive?

The simple answer is neurology. We were wired to respond favorably to actions that have a feel-good result, like sex, finding water, or finding food. These actions cause a feel-good neurochemical called dopamine to be released, which causes the brain to repeat whatever action just caused it to be released.

Certain behaviors cause different levels of dopamine to be released.

Eating chocolate – can raise dopamine levels 50%

Sex – can raise dopamine levels 100%

Snorting cocaine – can raise dopamine levels 350% [1]

Brain-imaging research is showing that glowing screens – iPads, iPhones, Kindles – are as stimulating to the brain’s pleasure center and dopamine release as sex. Therefore, when a parent puts a glowing iPhone in the hands of a crying child, it’s as if a brain orgasm is being released. Which is the reason why kids and adults can’t put them down.

Have you ever just watched a young child who is fixated on a screen? They are zeroed in. Engrossed. You might have to call their name 2-3 times to get their attention. Their eyes are dilated. This is due to dopamine.

Science shows us that dopamine:

Focuses our attention

Motivates us forward; and

Activates and enhances rewards circuitry that make you feel good.

Keep in mind that adults have a fully-developed frontal cortex, which controls impulsivity and decision-making. And yet, just after a couple hours of your favorite fast-paced, action movie, even you have a hard time focusing on reading a book and sitting still.

In the still-developing, 3-year-old brain, this level of impulsivity control is not present. Therefore, the flashing glitter of screens starts to create an attention template (more on templates later) that no kindergarten teacher can compete with.

Virtual Reality is Replacing Morphine

The orgasm-like neurological impact of screens on brains is so profound that the University of Washington Medical Center is now using virtual reality video games instead of addiction-forming narcotic painkillers as part of its pain-management program for severe burn victims. By playing the game SnowWorld through a set of VR goggles and using a joystick to throw snowballs at cute penguins, severe burn patients find that their sensation of pain decreases greatly while playing the game.

In other words, virtual reality is taking the place of morphine.

Whether you believe it was creation or evolution, human beings have brains that are wired for rewards.

And, the creators of today’s video games are knowledgeable about our neurochemistry, using techniques like a “variable ratio reward schedule” to keep kids playing. Slot machines use this technique – rewards are distributed randomly, which keeps the player hopeful and putting in quarter after quarter. Minecraft uses a variable ratio reward schedule, by hiding ores randomly throughout the digital earth.

In Glow Kids, Commander Dr. Doan of the U.S. Navy has harsh words for the gaming industry. He was hopelessly addicted as an adult to World of Warcraft (WoW), and so he has no love for game creators.

“Gaming companies will hire the best neurobiologists and neuroscientists to hook up electrodes to the test-gamer. If they don’t elicit the blood pressure that they shoot for – typically 180 over 120 or 140 within a few minutes of playing, and if they don’t show sweating and an increase in their galvanic skin response [a change in the electrical resistance of the skin caused by emotional stress] they go back and tweak the game to get that maximum addicting and arousing response that they’re looking for.” [Glow Kids, page 22]

Internet Addiction Disorder – Is That a Thing?

Dr. Victoria Dunckley is a child psychiatrist who is connecting the dots between the massive increase in childhood bipolar disorder and ADHD, and fast-paced screens.

She found that visits for kids diagnosed with pediatric bipolar disorder had increased 40-fold from 1994 to 2003; that between 1980 and 2007 the diagnosis of ADHD had increased by nearly 800 percent [2].

She started to ask the question, “is this simply due to advances in diagnosis or something else?”

Eventually, Dr. Dunckley started using the label electronic screen disorder (ESS) to describe the reason for the enormous increase in attention- and mood-related diagnoses in children. She theorized that ESS was disrupting the formation of a child’s attention template. Templates are simply patterns of thinking that are established during our formative years.

But, because it’s unethical to test her theory on children by feeding them copious levels of screen time, she’s relying on the old principle in medicine that if the cure works, you probably have the disease.

By removing screens through a prescription of tech fasting from over 500 kids that have visited her practice with varying levels of psychiatric disorders, Dr. Dunckley has found a reduction in symptoms in 80% of her patients. [3]

Steve Jobs and Montessori – Low-tech to the Extreme

In 2010, when a reporter asked Steve Jobs about how much his kids must love the new iPad Apple had just invented, his response was, “They haven’t used it. We limit how much technology our kids use at home.”

Later in life, when asked about technology in the classroom, Steve said, “I’ve probably spearheaded giving away more computer equipment to schools than anybody on the planet. But, I’ve come to the conclusion that the problem is not one that technology can hope to solve. What’s wrong with education cannot be fixed with technology. No amount of technology will make a dent.” [4]

Interestingly, some of Silicon Valley’s brightest were educated in very low-tech environments. Google founders Sergei Brin and Larry Page, along with Amazon founder and richest man in the world Jeff Bezos, and Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales all went to low-tech Montessori schools.

Pierre Laurent, a former Microsoft executive and father of two teenage boys who attended the Wardorf school said this:

“I love computers…they can do wonderful things…But, you can overuse technology and become a slave to it…Then I read a book called The Growth of the Mind, by Stanley Greenspan, which explains how we learn when we are small through our interactions with the world…We decided that there’s no harm in not exposing children to screens until they’re big enough. It can only be beneficial.” [5]

Video Game Addiction – Screen Time to the Extreme

In Glow Kids, Dr. Kardaras shares the following story about an extreme gamer named Dan who was referred for therapy.

“As he walked into my office, he looked dazed and disoriented…and terrified. He slowly sat down, nervously fidgeting in the chair…constantly jerking his head as he kept fearfully looking around my office.

‘Dan, do you know where you are?’

No answer. He blinked once more. Then, finally, he looked straight at me and stammered in a tone of genuine confusion: “Are…are…we still in the game?”

Dr. Kardaras goes on to describe Dan’s condition as a form of gaming-induced psychosis, also called Game Transfer Phenomena or the “Tetris Effect.” [6] Dan had been playing World of Warcraft for 10-12 hours a day. He was so attached, that he would pee in a Mason jar next to his computer. WoW is the world’s most popular massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG).

At the end of the session, Dan started to cry. “I’m scared. I don’t know what’s happening…am I going crazy?”

According to Dr. Kardaras, Dan fit a specific stereotype of kid that typically walked into his office. Many, like Dan, “were looking for some sort of deeper connection and sense of purpose. Alienated and adrift in soulless and institutional high schools, the meaning-starved kid finds purpose in a digital fantasy realm of adventure where there are monsters to slay, competitors to vanquish and prizes to attain; there is a soul-satisfying sense of purpose – and, if the games are played with others, a shared sense of purpose.” [page 12]

This story and its meaning blew my mind. Purpose. Togetherness. These are basic desires of the human heart. All hijacked by excessive use of technology.

Social media has a similar pull, but more frequently with teen girls and for kids who are socially more adept. It’s their playground for popularity, flaunting images of their wonderful life, their beautiful bodies; a resting place for harsh words and subtle but significant emojis [A completely separate blog post about girls and social media is forthcoming].

For the gamer and for the social media elite, the problem of digital addiction seems to be an equal opportunity destroyer. According to Dr. Kardaras, “with every burst of virtual gunfire, every text and tweet, there is a release – a little squirt of dopamine, just as surely as cocaine tickles our dopamine neurotransmitters.” [page 14]

Is My Child Addicted to Screen Time?

Signs of screen time addiction to look for according to Glow Kids include:

Is your child staying up later and later to use devices?

Does your child get fidgety, anxious and/or angry if they don’t have their device?

Is their tech usage negatively impacting their relationships at home, school work, or other activities?

Is your child deceptive about device usage?

Does your child seem perpetually tired yet also wired?

Has a teacher ever complained that your kid has fallen asleep in class?

Is your child indicating that he/she can’t get digital imagery out of his/her head?

If this describes your child, just Google “technology addiction centers USA” for a screen time solution.

5 Screen Time Recommendations for Parents:

Whether your child is 2 or 12, we believe these principles apply based on what we’re learning from the neuroscience and addiction recovery communities:

Less is more when it comes to infant screen time. We don’t know exact answers, but everything is pointing toward keeping screens away from our little ones. A May 2017 study found that 18-month-olds who did not use screens had significantly better language skills than those who used screens. SANITY CHECK: hey, stay-at-home-parent, if you need to shove a screen in your kid’s hands just so you can take a shower, we get it. We do it, too. Our son Grant has Down Syndrome, and ZERO attention span. Sometimes a screen, in limited doses, is the only way for Andrea to get anything done. No judgment here, but this is the exception and not the norm.

Make them go outside and play. A kid who has healthy human connections and healthy hobbies and outlets is less likely to fall into addiction in general. Nothing beats going outside and soaking up the green. We were created in nature and it seems that we learn best in nature. Green spaces. Bugs. Mud. Sunshine on the skin (except for us Michiganders!). According to Tim Drake, founder of Primitive Pursuits, a nonprofit nature-based program in New York, “Nature is where we come from. It brought us to where we are today. The reason we’re successful as a species is because of our original relationship with nature. Exposing a child to that touches the hardwiring of being human—they become ‘activated.’” [Glow Kids page 241]

Let them be bored. Read that last sentence again. Riding in the car without a screen is good. Staring at the power wires and pondering where the wires go or came from is like mental fitness. Counting the cows in the field and then wishing that your parents would buy you a farm animal named Curtis is great mental exercise. Let them be bored.Teach them to be still. Teach them to imagine. It’s in those quiet, seemingly boring moments that real imagination and creativity are allowed to take root. According to Dr. Kardaras, “there is nothing healthier for a child than to learn how to use their own interior resources to work through the challenges of being bored. This then acts as the fertile ground for developing an active imagination…” [Glow Kids page 127]

Let them cry it out. When our kids cry or whine in public, and we hand them a screen to quiet them, we are promoting a quick fix mentality to treating their uncomfortable feelings. A flashing screen teaches the still-developing neurology of a 4-year-old that the dopamine rush from mom’s iPhone is the antidote when I’m upset. Screen time becomes the learned solution. Showing our children how to find other ways to alleviate these emotions will possibly save them in the long run from using unhealthy, quick-fix remedies in emotionally charged situations. Even if you’re the mom with the screaming kid in aisle 10, find another way.

Let them see YOU doing the same. Parents, you need to model the behaviors you want to see in your child. Are you curious to know the amount of time you spend on your device? There’s an app for that!

Note – we haven’t touched two additional topics, including the impact of violent video games on boys and the impact of social media on girls. Both will be covered in upcoming blog posts.

Screen Time and Education – A Special Note

Educators, I’ll just leave you with one quote from Glow Kids: “When the stimulation becomes preferable to the real, there arises a real question of the stimulation’s true educational value.” I fully support a balanced educational use of technology. The point of this post and of Glow Kids is to challenge the idea that screens are necessary and substitutionary to actual experience. The primary problem is the age of exposure. Young kids (under 8) really should have as little screen time as possible. The studies are starting to prove that learning is actually worse in front of a screen. Did we jump onto the tech wagon too quickly?

Call to Action

Now What? Do this in the next 24 hours!

Now that you understand more about the impact of technology on your family, are you ready to have awesome conversations with your kids about how to use their technology well? Please visit our Protect Young Eyes Parent University, where you’ll find videos to watch with your kids, creating common vocabulary, and awesome chats. Sometimes, when kids hear someone else talk about awkward things, it helps them really hear it for the first time. Please visit the PYE Parent University today!

]]>https://protectyoungeyes.com/screen-time-kids-parental-control-5-recommendations/feed/3Tricky People – Stranger Danger in the Digital Agehttps://protectyoungeyes.com/tricky-people-stranger-danger-in-the-digital-age/
https://protectyoungeyes.com/tricky-people-stranger-danger-in-the-digital-age/#commentsMon, 30 Oct 2017 07:10:26 +0000https://protectyoungeyes.com/?p=20322Where the Kids Are is Where the Predators Are Tricky people are everywhere. An unfortunate reality in the digital age is that the doorways to our children are everywhere. We no longer just need to lock the front door and windows in our physical home,...

An unfortunate reality in the digital age is that the doorways to our children are everywhere. We no longer just need to lock the front door and windows in our physical home, but we also need to be vigilant and guard digital doorways. Have you ever made a list of all of the ways that your child can get online? It’s a sobering exercise.

And, a digital reality is that wherever there are kids spending time online, those are the exact places where predators are also spending time. Today’s digital predators are savvier than ever, and so as parents, we need to be observant, engaged, and informed. Daily.

Stranger Danger Doesn’t Work

When I was a kid, we were outside constantly. During the summer Michigan months, from the moment breakfast was done to when the streetlights went on, I bounced between three different houses in my comfortable, suburban neighborhood in East Lansing. Patriarch Park was a common destination where we played 4-person baseball for endless hours.

We knew not to talk to strangers. I was five when Etan Patz was abducted in 1979, signaling a kind of “end of innocence” for children. Parents like mine told us to avoid people we didn’t know who had puppies and candy, driving white Chevy vans with few windows.

In other words, we identified strangers based on what we saw. The little hairs on the back of my neck would surely stand up in the presence of a person with bad intent. At least, this was the theory.

Fast-forward to 2017. Kids are physically safer than ever because they don’t ever leave the house. Patriarch Park is a distant memory – today’s digital parks are infinite in number and kids spend time in them from the comfort of their bedroom. Consider these three popular digital parks for elementary, middle, and high school students. Can you name them?

In order from left to right, they are Roblox, Kik Messenger, and Musical.ly. All three known for their predatory activity. If you were to open an account on one of these apps, you would see an endless stream of good-looking, clean-cut, hipster-perfect selfies for profile pictures. Who’s a stranger on Musical.ly? Everyone looks nice based on the profile picture I see. No hoodies or white vans. How can a kid tell?

Tricky People – The New Stranger Danger

In the digital age, we need to teach our kids to identify strangers not by what they look like, but rather, by what they say. Since everyone looks normal and friendly online, looks are no longer sufficient. Instead, we tell our kids about tricky people.

Tricky people are those that ask a lot of questions. Seemingly nice questions about what we like, where we are, or anything about us. Since most kids are nice kids, we actually need to give our kids permission to not be nice to everyone they meet online.

This is a revelation to the elementary school kids that we speak to in schools around the country at Protect Young Eyes. We teach kids in grades K-8 about tricky people, saying, “I know you’re a nice kid, but I’m telling you not to be nice to people you don’t know on the computer. Don’t be mean, but don’t tell them a thing. Don’t answer any questions. These are tricky people and we never talk to tricky people.”

We then go on to describe tricky people which are people who ask questions through Roblox or Musical.ly or anything connected to the Internet. Tricky people sound really nice. And, because social media causes us to share little details about us to the outside world, tricky people pick up on clues and use those clues to groom kids with nice questions.

For example – “I see you like soccer, too. What team do you play for?”

That’s a tricky question. We don’t ever answer tricky questions. It sounds like a nice question, doesn’t it? I know. But, we don’t every answer nice questions from tricky people.

How to Handle Tricky People?

At Protect Young Eyes, we then go on to teach kids that just like with scary pictures or pornography, we do two things – PUT IT DOWN. TELL SOMEONE. Two steps! It’s that simple. New tools for kids in a new age. Have you talked to your kids about tricky people? Have you given them examples of tricky questions? If they use social media, where kids often share way too much, is your kid ready to handle tricky questions about their photos or videos? Here are a few:

“When I’m mad at my parents, I go to my room. What do you like to do in your bedroom?”

“I love Lake Michigan, too. How long does it take you to get there from home?”

“I love dogs, too. What’s the name of your dog?”

“Birthdays are the best! When’s yours?”

“What’s your school like? Where is it? Who’s your favorite teacher?”

“Where does your family live?”

“Can you keep a secret? (there are no good Internet secrets)”

And, endless others. Remember, put it down, tell someone. A new tool for a new age.

CALL TO ACTION

Now What? Do this in the next 24 hours!

Watch the video below with your child. This is just one of many that we’ve created to be watched WITH kids. Are you ready to have awesome conversations about all of the digital topics that matter? Tricky people – bullies – pornography – screens – Snapchat – more! Please visit our Protect Young Eyes Parent University, where you’ll find videos to watch with your kids, creating common vocabulary, and awesome chats. Sometimes, when kids hear someone else talk about awkward things, it helps them really hear it for the first time. Please visit the PYE Parent University today!

In their words, “Bark is an online safety solution powered by advanced algorithms that proactively alerts parents to potential dangers, including cyberbullying, sexting, drug use, internet predators, depression and suicidal thoughts – and provides expert recommendations on how to talk about issues as a family.”

What Makes Bark Different from Other Solutions?

Other than the obvious value that comes from knowing the words, comments, and pictures being used and shared in popular apps, it also advocates for a collaborative approach to technology usage between parents and kids.

At Protect Young Eyes, we love this. We are not advocates of the “bubble-wrap” approach to parenting in the digital age. Instead, parents who are observant, engaged, and informed, often have kids who learn to use technology responsibly. These three steps explain their value nicely:

Take Positive Action: Parents get recommended actions and ways to talk about issues as a family.

Remember, parental controls don’t ever take the place of parents. Bark agrees.

Is Bark Easy to Install? What’s the Cost?

Bark is available for both iOS (iPod Touch, iPad, and iPhone) and Android devices, and can be found in the iTunes App Store and Google Play Stores, respectively. From there, it’s a simple app install, follow the prompts, and connect your child’s accounts.

The cost is $9/month or $99 if paid annually. So, basically, three trips to the gas station to protect your child from digital risk. We believe the pricing is very reasonable.

]]>https://protectyoungeyes.com/parents-love-bark-parental-controls/feed/0Kids and Tech: Smart Homes, Smart Toys (Infographic)https://protectyoungeyes.com/children-technology-smart-homes-smart-toys-infographic/
Thu, 21 Sep 2017 05:08:38 +0000https://protectyoungeyes.com/?p=20140Guest Author Post: Scott Reddler has provided this content, along with as awesome info. graphic at the bottom that so clearly shows how digital our kids’ world has become. Scott can be reached via Twitter @Scottreddler Children interact with technology on a daily basis, and the...

]]>Guest Author Post: Scott Reddler has provided this content, along with as awesome info. graphic at the bottom that so clearly shows how digital our kids’ world has become. Scott can be reached via Twitter @Scottreddler

Children interact with technology on a daily basis, and the average child starts to surf the internet by the age of three years old. Whether glued to the TV screen while playing video games on their consoles, seated on the sofa while watching YouTube videos, or reclining on their beds while chatting on smartphones, children are immersed in technology.

How Kids Use Technology at Home

Parents need to be mindful of how and when their children use technology, especially since technology that accesses the Internet not only connects their children to the world, but also the world to their children. And what this means is that parents must be vigilant in researching the privacy policies of the manufacturers of any smart home or smart toy products they purchase.

It’s important for parents to realize that the world they grew up in is definitely not the world their children are growing up in. From the World Wide Web, to mobile devices, to smart tech, children in this digital age are living at a technologically advanced time and therefore face certain potential problems — among them predators cloaked in the anonymity of the web — that their parents didn’t.

Smart Home Example

Examples of how tech happens in smart homes are smart baby monitors. Parents can use these wireless-enabled devices to keep an eye on their little ones from a another location in the home. However, radio frequency radiation that is emitted by wireless tech can boost brain activity and get in the way of non-REM sleep. So, parents should keep these devices away from their children’s heads at night.

Smart Toy Example

Toys like Hello Barbie and CogniToys Dino are definitely smart toys since they actually get smarter and smarter the more children play with them. So, playtime can become a more engaging and rewarding experience for children.

Ways to Parent Well in Smart Homes

One way for parents to parent well in a smart home is for them to implement some screen-free time. Used in moderation, technology can bring great benefits, but children should not be spending too much of their time staring at a screen. Even if it involves actually taking away their children’s mobile devices at times, parents must get their kids to untether from tech from time to time. They cannot be ful

Parents could learn a thing or two from the likes of Bill Gates, who refused to give his children smartphones until they were 14, and the late Steve Jobs, who did not allow his young children to use iPads. These two tech leaders demonstrated that parents should not permit their children to access technology before their children are old enough to do so responsibly.

]]>3 Reasons to Turn off (Disable) the App Storehttps://protectyoungeyes.com/3-reasons-turn-off-disable-app-store/
https://protectyoungeyes.com/3-reasons-turn-off-disable-app-store/#commentsSun, 13 Aug 2017 11:47:18 +0000https://protectyoungeyes.com/?p=20031In this blog post about the App Store, I want to share the #1 step parents can take to protect their kids who have a smartphone. It’s so simple (yet, too many parents don’t do this). The App Store Revolutionized the Smartphone Both Apple and...

]]>In this blog post about the App Store, I want to share the #1 step parents can take to protect their kids who have a smartphone. It’s so simple (yet, too many parents don’t do this).

The App Store Revolutionized the Smartphone

Both Apple and Android devices have their own “store” where users can download applications (apps) that have a specific, typically narrow, function.

Some interesting history: The Apple App Store launched in July 2008, a year after the first iPhone was released. It had 500 apps and, to many, was a revelation. 10 million apps were downloaded in the first weekend.

The #1 Way to Make a Smartphone Safer

Easy, right? Still not convinced you need to do this? Here are three reasons why this is a good idea.

3 Reasons to Turn off the App Store

Your kids can circumvent your parental controls – if you download a filtered browser like Mobicip or Covenant Eyes for your child’s smartphone, then he/she can simply download another browser (Chrome, Google, Opera, Dolphin, etc.) in order to circumvent the monitored browser. Another popular circumvention technique is to download what’s called a Virtual Private Network app (VPN), which allows your child to punch through any network controls you have in your home (i.e., on the router) and surf the internet unfiltered.

Your kids will see things you don’t want them to – although we’ve not found outright pornography in the app store, there are very sexually charged apps that young kids should not see. These include apps showing sexual positions, “gay hook-up” apps, one-night stand apps, “how to make her orgasm,” Kamasutra, and others. The app descriptions just contain a lot of inappropriate words and phrases that I don’t need my child learning before he/she is ready. Here are screenshots of some of the apps we discovered.

Your kids might spend a lot of your money – in-app purchases can cause a lot of trouble. I frequently receive messages from moms who are receiving monthly charges on their credit cards for apps their kids have downloaded and now they want to stop the charges. There are multiple issues with this situation that are very easy to prevent. The primary issue is that the child has access to the app store and “in-app purchases” are turned on. Keep reading to learn how to turn off in-app purchases.

Covenant Eyes also has an App Block feature to go along with its internet filter and phenomenal accountability reporting which prevents access to Google Play. It has time of day controls for the overall device, but does not have individual app control. A family account (with unlimited users and devices) is $14.99/month.

OurPact has some of the best individual app control we’ve seen, along with some pretty innovative ways to help teach kids how to use apps well (“app allowance”). OurPact does not have an internet filter, unlike both Mobicip and Covenant Eyes, but it far exceeds the other platforms in the level of control it gives parents over apps. This is a situation where sometimes a combination of solutions provides the best overall device control (Mobicip + OurPact). The premium version of OurPact is only $6.99/month.

Like most protection steps, parents might need to set aside a few hours to make sure they find the right solution for their family. We hope these summaries will help get you started!

What’s Our Home’s App Store Rule?

In our home, no one will have unmonitored access to the iTunes App Store or Google Play Store until age 16. I’ve already told our daughter, “Once you get your driver’s license, then you can have access to browse the app store without mom or dad being closely involved.” [BTW – we now have the same rule for most social media, including Snapchat and Instagram – guess what? Kids just aren’t ready for the pressures, porn, and problems that are present in these popular apps – have you heard of Instaporn?What about the explicit content in Snapchat’s Discover section?].

CALL TO ACTION – Now What?

Now that you’ve protected your devices, are you ready to give your kids the tools they need to use technology well? Are you ready to have awesome conversations about all of the digital topics that matter? Please visit our Protect Young Eyes Parent University, where you’ll find videos to watch with your kids, creating common vocabulary, and awesome chats. Sometimes, when kids hear someone else talk about awkward things, it helps them really hear it for the first time. Please visit the PYE Parent University today!

]]>https://protectyoungeyes.com/3-reasons-turn-off-disable-app-store/feed/5A Book Review of Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.https://protectyoungeyes.com/book-review-good-pictures-bad-pictures-jr/
https://protectyoungeyes.com/book-review-good-pictures-bad-pictures-jr/#commentsMon, 07 Aug 2017 09:59:53 +0000https://protectyoungeyes.com/?p=19997Here’s a common objection among parents: “But, if I talk to my son about pornography, I’m afraid it will make him curious about it.” But, is it true? Is it better to wait until kids are older, maybe in middle school, to talk to them...

“But, if I talk to my son about pornography, I’m afraid it will make him curious about it.”

But, is it true? Is it better to wait until kids are older, maybe in middle school, to talk to them about a sensitive topic like pornography? I recently read a new book, Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. that helps parents answer these questions.

She never thought about talking to him about pornography as a young boy. She wasn’t ready for that [and she didn’t think he was either]. But, now it was too late. As a result, her son didn’t know what to do when he saw porn. Curiosity and shame took over. He felt trapped. He held onto this secret for over two years. She wondered, “could it have been prevented?”

Kids are Naturally Curious

It is said that “curiosity killed the cat.” But, there is not a more curious species on planet earth than a young, pre- or elementary school human child. I have three of them at home right now and they are constantly investigating the world around them and pummeling the adults in their life with a barrage of “why’s?” and “how’s?” and “show me!” from morning until night.

No, Blake, I do not know why it’s called a fart or how to say it in Spanish. (Yes, an actual conversation with my son!)

When it comes to the digital age, this natural curiosity creates great risk, especially when it comes to inappropriate pictures that are just one click away. If they see one, they might decide to keep on clicking if they don’t know what it is they’re looking at.

At the same time, kids are often quick to believe what they are told by trusted adults. Parents. Grandparents. Kindergarten teachers. These foundation figures all have immense influence over the young people in their lives [Yes, Mrs. Carlson, I still remember you!]. These adults have an amazing opportunity to speak openly and truthfully to their precious little ones.

Say the Right Things in the Right Way

Kristen Jenson’s newest book, Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. gives parents a step-by-step guide for having an open and truthful conversation with little people on the important and often awkward topic of pornography.

This is the prequel to her Amazon #1 best-selling book, Good Pictures Bad Pictures, which I have recommended to parents for years (perfect for ages 7-12). The Junior edition is appropriate to use with kids ages 3-6. For many parents, this seems too young to have a conversation with a child about pornography.

But, it’s all in how you do it.

For my own boys (ages 7, 7, and 5), I’ve talked to them for years about their private parts. They know what they are and what it means to keep them “private.” It was an easy transition to say to my boys, “if you are using the tablet or dad’s phone, and you ever see someone else’s private parts in a picture, here’s what I want you to do….”

Natural. Open. Honest.

That’s exactly what Kristen has given us in Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. A natural, open, honest, and beautifully simple way to invite our little ones into a pivotal conversation about pornography. When Kristen was asked why she wrote it and how it’s different than her original Good Pictures Bad Pictures, she stated:

“Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. is much simpler with even more beautiful watercolor illustrations. It’s a hardcover book designed to be more durable for younger kids. And my illustrator, Debbie Fox, added a fun feature into it—19 hidden cameras for kids to find! The Jr. book is much less complex—I don’t go into the brain science like the one for older children. The book begins with lots of examples of good pictures and then simply states: “Some pictures are good. But some pictures are not good. They’re bad for you.” From that point, the book gives kids a simple definition of “bad pictures,” explains the importance of keeping private parts private, makes the analogy that bad pictures are “picture poison” and then provides a simple 3-step “Turn, Run and Tell” plan that prepares kids to deal with accidental exposure to inappropriate content.

My new book also includes 5 safety rules which help children stay safe from sexting and sextortion, a growing threat among kids according to the FBI. And they help parents know how to coach their kids to “forget” the bad pictures they might see.

Basically, Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. is a comfortable, effective way for proactive parents to empower their kids with their first internal filter —the only filter that goes with them wherever they go.”

Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. is a Curiosity Eraser

I ascribe to the idea that when we talk openly and honestly about topics, it’s those topics that often have the least control over us. I’ve found this to be abundantly true in my own life, as I speak with my accountability partner and as I’ve counseled many young people during my time as a junior high youth director. In the secret, quiet, dark places, our thoughts often get the best of us. And, if no one has ever told me or guided me on the particular topic I’m confronted with, I’m like a boat in a stormy sea – tossed and turned with every wave, subject to the wind of the day.

Will talking to my young son about pornography make him more curious about pornography?

When parents talk to their kids openly, honestly, directly, persistently, and consistently, I think they’ll find that the exact opposite of this fear will be true. By talking about pornography, I think parents will find that they actually erase curiosity instead of plant it. Parents are giving their kids a tool in their digital tool belt so that when their child sees porn (it’s only a matter of time), the child has a tool for that situation. “Hey, I know that that is! And, mom told me exactly what to do!”

Thank you, Kristen for giving parents an amazing tool for their parenting tool belt. I sincerely hope it helps parents raise a generation of children who are better equipped for the realities of the digital age.

]]>https://protectyoungeyes.com/book-review-good-pictures-bad-pictures-jr/feed/3Snapchat Suicide: Is Social Media Killing Our Kids?https://protectyoungeyes.com/snapchat-suicide-social-media-killing-our-kids/
https://protectyoungeyes.com/snapchat-suicide-social-media-killing-our-kids/#respondThu, 06 Jul 2017 10:52:43 +0000https://protectyoungeyes.com/?p=19868There have been a rash of young teens committing suicide over the past few months. Snapchat seems to be the social media app most often mentioned as a key player in the suicide, giving rise to the phrase Snapchat Suicide. The ephemeral nature of Snapchat...

]]>There have been a rash of young teens committing suicide over the past few months. Snapchat seems to be the social media app most often mentioned as a key player in the suicide, giving rise to the phrase Snapchat Suicide. The ephemeral nature of Snapchat often leads to more spontaneous behavior (e.g., filming a situation in a bathroom) giving the false impression that whatever is posted will quickly disappear and no one will be caught. Unfortunately, it seems that too many of these spontaneous moments are leading to teens feeling distraught and hopeless due to extreme embarrassment or endless bullying.

As a former middle school youth pastor, there was a very short list of teen issues that just crushed me, and teen suicide was one of them. I’m such an advocate for life and taking full advantage of every moment. Therefore, to consider that a child was so beaten down by life to think that death was the only option was difficult for me to comprehend and simply broke my heart.

But, a harsh reality in our 24/7, always online, viral world, is that kids no longer have safe places. Meaning, once the bullying snowball starts to roll in the digital age, it continues to roll and build up speed even when the kids involved are separated by physical space. It used to be that once I stepped off the bus, there were very limited ways a bully could continue to torment me, without going through some kind of physical barrier, like calling a phone attached to my kitchen wall, which was probably answered by my mom. Ask.fm never shuts off. Snapchat never shuts off. The comments on Instagram never turn off. In the digital age, kids no longer have safe places. Internet permanence is real.

It’s harder to parent in the digital age but it’s also harder to be a kid. And, the statistics seem to prove it.

Snapchat Suicide in the News

Most recently, the hanging death of 15-year-old Sadie Riggs went viral due to the gut-wrenching obituary posted by her maternal aunt. It read:

“In an effort to debunk the rumors about Sadie’s death we would like to share this information. Yes, Sadie took her own life, she hung herself. It is hard to fathom that someone so young could be so troubled. Sadie was seeking help, she was in counseling and taking medication, but it was all too much for such a young soul to live with….Sadie had a tough life and until a recent incident at school she handled everything life served her. For a young lady so excited about going to the High School things sure went terribly wrong for her. For the bullies involved, please know you were effective in making her feel worthless. That is all between you and God now, but please know that it is not too late to change your ways. Sadie’s death has taken us to dark places, we will stick together and protect one another as we try to make sense of this tragic loss. To all the bullies out there, I just want you to know that as much as we despise your actions never, ever do we wish for you to feel the paralyzing pain that engulfs our bodies, a pain so severe that it makes the simple act of breathing difficult or the guilt that leaves us wondering what we could have done differently-or that struggle to remember the last words we spoke…Our hearts are beyond broken. Sadie, it was a privilege to have you in our lives and we will always love you. May you find peace in the arms of God and may we all be kind to one another.”

In San Diego, California, a high school boy committed suicide after a 10-second video of him in a school bathroom stall emerged on Snapchat with the caption, “I think this dude is jacking off.” The young boy, identified in court documents as Matthew B, killed himself, leaving a suicide note that read: “I can’t handle school anymore and I have no friends.”

A 14-year-old girl from the UK committed suicide after being attacked by cyberbullies through Snapchat. Her mother has started speaking out publicly in order to warn other parents. “Unfortunately, there’s no getting away from it now – they have their phones 24/7. [Kids] Be careful what you say, words can’t be taken back.”

Teen Suicide by the Numbers

Although based on a small number of suicides compared with other age groups, the suicide rate for females aged 10–14 had the largest percent increase (200%) during the time period, tripling from 0.5 per 100,000 in 1999 (50 deaths) to 1.5 in 2014 (150 deaths).

And girls ages 15-24, the rate increased 53% from 3.0 per 100,000 in 1999 (300 deaths) to 4.6 in 2014 (460 deaths).

According to the National Center for Injury Prevention, suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10-24 and more teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza, and chronic lung disease, combined.

Is social media to blame?

In 2012, Dr. David Luxton, et. al, published Social Media and Suicide: A Public Health Perspective, which gathered information from studies performed globally that looked for evidence supporting the assertion that social media contributes to an increased rate of suicide among adolescents. Dr. Sameer Hinduja and Justin W. Patchin, Ph.D. published Bullying, Cyberbullying, and Suicide, where they reported results from a survey given to approximately 2000 middle school children that indicated that victims of cyberbullying were almost 2 times as likely to attempt suicide than those who were not. This study was completed before the rise of Snapchat. This study was completed long before Instagram was rated the worst social media app for mental health. Not every kid who uses Snapchat is a suicide risk. But, social media is most certainly having some impact on our kids.

Know the signs – look for changes in WORDS (“I’m a burden” or “I have no purpose”), changes inBEHAVIOR (withdrawal from normal activities, isolation from family and friends, sleeping too much or too little, aggression), and/or changes inMOOD (depression loss of interest, rage, irritability, anxiety). 4 out of 5 teens who attempt suicide have given clear warning signs (2017 Jason Foundation Inc)

Know the risks – consider whether your child has HEALTH FACTORS (mental health issues, chronic pain, or substance abuse), has ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS (exposure to another person’s suicide, prolonged stress, triggering event like divorce or family death, access to lethal means) or HISTORICAL FACTORS (previous suicide attempts, family history of suicide). Sadie sounded as if she was already very fragile to begin with – social media exposure only seems to have exasperated her struggles.

Is Snapchat causing suicide? There has not been a scientific study conducted in order to answer this question definitively. But, it would seem that the constant pressures of social media combined with its viral, oppressive, permanent nature create a perfect recipe for kids to feel stuck, overwhelmed, and hopeless. Parents are the answer. We believe parents who are observant, engaged, and informed often have kids who learn to use social media well. Does that describe you? If not, what are you waiting for?