Joanne Mackarey Coyne isn’t able to say how much she loves being a mom in a way that most people can understand, but the evidence speaks for itself.

It’s easy to see and hear the poise and indomitable spirit she’s passed down to her four children as they tell her inspirational story.

Mrs. Coyne, 54, suffers from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), more commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. ALS is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. Since her diagnosis five years ago, ALS has rendered Mrs. Coyne unable to move freely or speak without assistance, though she’s an excellent text-messager.

Despite her affliction, Mrs. Coyne functions as well as any other mother in terms of the love and guidance she bestows on her kids, Rosemarie, 24, an accountant who lives in Dunmore; Sadie, 22, a senior majoring in rehab human services at Penn State University in State College; Gabriel, 20, a sophomore psychology major at the Penn State Worthington Scranton campus; and Brianna, 16, a sophomore and cheerleader at Scranton Preparatory School who just got her learner’s permit to drive.
‘Incredible spirit’Rosemarie wrote the winning essay about her mom, in which she described her “incredible spirit ... grace and strength,” making the Coynes the cover story for the 2011 Mother’s Day edition of The Sunday Times.

What all of the Coyne children find most remarkable about their mother is her selflessness, even in the face of her own adversity.

“She’s always there for me. She gets excited about everything I do, like passing my CPA exam, getting into Penn State,” Rosemarie said. “A lot of times, though she can’t talk, I feel like I know what she’s thinking. We can finish each other’s sentences.”

“She can’t do a lot, but whatever you need, she makes sure it gets done,” Sadie added. “She never gave up. So many other people would complain every day. She finds a way to do what she needs and she doesn’t want help, unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

For the youngest members of the household, having a supportive mom has been key to their own survival.

“She never does anything for herself, not even before she was sick,” Gabriel explained. “She’s just selfless in every way. She always kept me motivated in the right direction, giving me the freedom to make my own decisions.

“She always knows some sort of solution,” he continued. “She finds a way, even though she doesn’t really have the means. She’s never judgmental. She doesn’t expect us to be perfect. She understands life’s hard.”

This generous and compassionate nature is what has drawn so much support from others during her illness, Gabriel explained.

“Everybody feeds off her radiance and the positive energy she has. That’s why everyone’s here now,” he added.

“She impacts everyone she meets,” his sister Sadie agreed. “Even friends tell me they have so much more respect for their own parents after they meet her.

“I couldn’t ask for anything more,” she added. “She’s still a better mom than anyone I know.”
Many want to helpIndeed, Mrs. Coyne, who is one of eight children, and her husband of 25 years, Brian, one of 13, are surrounded by family, friends and neighbors (most of whom are all three) who are always happy to lend a hand to the family.

“We truly are blessed,” Mr. Coyne said of their Taylor home’s proximity to their extended families.

Among the most frequent visitors is family friend Cathy McGloin, who acts as primary caretaker when the family is at work and school. Mrs. McGloin picks up the slack with the cleaning and laundry, appointments, calls to the school and more.

“That girl’s an angel,” Mr. Coyne said emphatically.

Mrs. Coyne also gives credit to her niece, Natasha Lee, the daughter of her late sister, Linda, who passed away unexpectedly almost two years ago. Natasha, Mrs. Coyne said, follows in her mother’s footsteps.

But it’s Mrs. Coyne’s children that have stepped up to the plate in a major way as the ALS progressed. Rosemarie, the oldest, was just 18 when her mom was officially diagnosed in 2006; Brianna, the baby, was an 11-year-old sixth-grader at the time.

“I felt bad because I wasn’t home,” said Rosemarie, who was a freshman at Penn State when the news came. “I took a bunch of extra classes to graduate early to help and spend time with her.”

Before the final diagnosis, there had been multiple misleading others; but by the time the kids were told it was ALS, they had already come to terms with the fact that their mother was not going to get better.

“You never think it could happen to you. You think you’re separate from it and immune,” admitted Gabriel, who was 15 at the time.

Since then, caring for their mother has become second nature. Brianna keeps her bed next to her mother’s, so that when their father leaves for work while it’s still dark most mornings, she’s there to make sure her mother isn’t alone. It might seem like a huge sacrifice for a teenage girl, but Brianna insisted, “She’s just my best friend.”

New routines have emerged since the ALS took hold. Brianna helps her mother in the shower, and Rosemarie dresses her, while Sadie does her hair and makeup.

“Doing it all brought us together,” Sadie said. “It’s easier when we each have our own part.”

“We’ve had to grow up a little faster, but I’m thankful to have a different maturity level,” Gabriel added.

Going out into the world, and looking presentable when she does so, is still important to Mrs. Coyne. It’s a trait she’s always been known for, according to her son.

“I feel like she taught me a lot of things about how to hold myself and present myself. She made me realize it’s important to leave a good impression,” he said. “I’ve never heard her curse. I’ve never seen her use a paper cup or plate. She’s the most elegant person I’ve ever met.”

Mrs. Coyne said she draws inspiration from her children and her own mother when she needs a reminder of how “lucky” she is.

“My mom was a great lady. She taught me how important family is,” Mrs. Coyne said via text. “I realized my children have the same respect for each other.

“I don’t know what I would do without my children, they are what keeps me going,” she added. “They are the sunshine of my life.”

One of the other important lessons the Coyne children say their mother has taught them is the importance of their education. Mrs. Coyne attended St. Patrick’s High School until it closed. She completed her senior year and graduated from West Scranton High School before continuing on to Lackawanna Junior College, and each of her children has gone to Scranton Preparatory School.

“Our future in education was also important to her. Sending us to Catholic private school and Penn State was a priority before having a nice TV or material things,” Gabriel explained.

“My mom worked really hard, and she didn’t work hard for a nice house or a car,” Sadie added.

“We didn’t have cell phones or cars. I’ve been working since I was 15 years old,” Rosemarie recalled.

“Because of that, we took school more serious,” Sadie affirmed.

Mrs. Coyne was a longtime waitress at Cooper’s Seafood House in Scranton, and held various other jobs on the side to help put her kids through school.

The kids recall going for sundaes at Perkins late at night sometimes after Mrs. Coyne finished a shift, just because she missed her children and wanted to spend a few fun extra minutes with them.

She continued to work two jobs until she couldn’t anymore, Gabriel said. In fact, it was at Cooper’s that Mrs. Coyne first noticed the early signs of her ALS. It started as a leg pain which caused her to limp, and then she had trouble carrying trays.

After numerous tests locally and in Danville and Philadelphia, the ALS diagnosis came about through the process of elimination.

Reinforcing the claim that she’s entirely selfless, Mr. Coyne recounted her reaction to hearing the devastating news about her health.

“The first question she asked as soon as she was diagnosed was, ‘Is it hereditary?’” According to the ALS Association, the disease has shown hereditary tendencies in less than 10 percent of known cases.

Five months passed between her first symptoms and diagnosis. For a while, though walking became increasingly difficult, Mrs. Coyne was still able to drive a car just fine.

Her family said the changes over the last few years has been a slow progression, and they don’t really notice the variances day-to-day too much. Mrs. Coyne uses a wheelchair or sometimes a walker apparatus to get around, and though she’s been fitted for eye-sensor technology and computers that are supposed to aid in her communication, they have proven largely impractical.

Instead, the children have fine-tuned their hearing and charades skills. They also have a system of naming letters and spelling words or commands out as Mrs. Coyne blinks yes at them. Their mother’s mind and senses are as sharp as ever, she is just trapped by her body.

And if that makes you feel pity for her, you can stop right there.

“She always tells people not to feel sorry for her,” Sadie said adamantly. “She never lost her faith in God. She always makes sure she keeps God in her life, and as long as we have faith, that’s all she wants for us.”

While the kids do everything they can to take care of their mom, and while she keeps her eye on them (Sadie said Mrs. Coyne sends her a text every night when she’s away at school that says “Love you”), Mr. Coyne continues to work hard to support them all.

“He’s a very dedicated husband. He still works seven days a week. He doesn’t go out or have friends,” Gabriel said of his father, who works as a pressman in Hughestown. “Everything’s dedicated to this family and keeping us afloat.”

Mr. Coyne, who says it was “Love at first sight” when he first met his wife, happily recalled what she was like when they first met.

“It was a hunt, a pursuit. She was taller and prettier than everybody else. I had a lot of nerve.”

To him, Mrs. Coyne is still that same stunning woman, and a whole lot more.

“You could write a Mother’s Day story,” he said of his wife’s tale. “Or you want a courage story? A beautiful story? A style story?

“And she’s a good driver, too,” he added proudly, which cracked the rest of the family up.

Rosemarie’s winning essayMy mother is the most patient, caring and strong person I know. She’s always pushed me to be the best that I can be, and I wouldn’t be who I am without her.
Despite suffering from a debilitating disease that has left her barely able to move and communicate, she has an incredible spirit. She faces all the challenges in her life with grace and strength that inspires our whole family. She is my best friend and I see more of her qualities in me every day. I couldn’t ask for a better role model.

Write your comment here

Your name

Word verification

Type in the characters you see in the picture below. If you have trouble reading the characters in the picture, click it to see a new one.