Anna Nicole Smith: Academy Award Winning Cow

Once poor and lovely, now rich and cow-like, Anna Nicole Smith is obviously a big fan of prescription drugs. Holy shit. The editors of this movie had such a hard time getting any half-decent footage from her cavalcade of unintelligible stonededness that they decided to splice the worst of it together into one of the best things you’ve ever seen. Not only does she act like someone just startled her out of a deep sleep, but she cannot remember any lines whatsoever. Even three-word sentences spoken directly into her ear come out of her mouth sounding like a catatonic fish. HIGHLIGHTS: You can hear the director saying to her face, “The line is ‘We’ve gotta get out of here,’” which she turns into “We gotta get shit...we gotta...fuck, man”