Thursday, September 22, 2005

Too Many Blimps (Setec Astronomy)

If you're on the west siiiide of New York City right now, look out your window: There are not one but two Goodyear blimps traversing the clear blue skies of Manhattan right now.

I hate to dig up old jokes and replay them, but really I don't at all. This is from my 2004 MLB All-Star Game post on July 14, 2004 (also contained within, Tim McCarver jokes):

"...But my real beef with the game this year was last night's aerial coverage, provided by the Ameriquest blimp. I mean, are they just fuckin' giving these things away? How many blimps are there these days? I feel like it was just five years ago when spotting a blimp over a sporting event meant seeing "Goodyear" plastered along its sides. Didn't everyone tease the fat girl in elementary school by calling her the Goodyear blimp? Do kids these days mix it up and say, "Don't pick her for kickball, that chick is fatter than the Saturn Lightship"?

I remember when MetLife broke into the market and that was acceptable to me. The Snoopy I and Snoopy II blimps were fine for a little competition. Hey, I'm no Communist, I'll welcome a challenge to the Goodyear monopoly. But when the fuck did Outback decide it was a good idea to send the Bloomin' Onion I up to the skies?

At this point, I'm flat out praying for a major blimp catastrophe, something along the lines of an 'Oh, the Humanity' Hindenburg-esque disaster. I'll even take something resembling a horrifying mid-air collision between two of these oversized douchebags. And if Tim McCarver should be the captain of such a vehicle at the time, well, that'll just be gravy."

I've ridden in a blimp. Interesting experience. The compartment with passengers is really tiny. Before we boarded they asked all the passengers to help hold the blimp down with these enormous ropes, but one thing they stressed was that if the blimp started to take off, we should all let go. It's funny to imagine some guy who refuses to let go because he's just sure he can bring it down all by himself.