Maybe He IS Just That Into You

“I just don’t understand what happened,” cried my friend after meeting the guy of her dreams. “We had SO much chemistry and now he's just vanished.” I told her to just forget it and move on, but what she did instead might surprise you

My friend F. met this guy while visiting family in Phoenix, and despite the distance, she felt sure that they’d keep in touch. But after a few sporadic phone calls, he stopped reaching out, and she was heartbroken.

“I hate to say it,” I said, “but maybe he’s just not that into—”

“No no!” she protested. “I know where you’re going with this and Shallon, HONESTLY, he was. He really was! I think I’m going to email him.”

Normally, I don’t think it’s a great idea to pour your guts out to a guy who isn’t calling. Boys know how phones work. If they want to reach you, they will. But she needed closure, so I gave her the green light. He already wasn’t talking to her, how much worse could it get?

She sent him a simple, straight-forward email about how she was bummed out that they weren’t still in contact because she thought he was really interesting and special.

And you know what? He wrote back gushing about how much he agreed and hadn’t called because he worried she viewed him as just a vacation fling. He also said that he didn’t want to embarrass himself by putting his feelings out there, and was so happy that she had taken the first step.

Her theory is that the whole He’s Just Not That Into You movement prompted women to throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble, when, really, guys get nervous too and it’s OK to give them some encouragement.

So happy for her!

Have you ever bared your soul like this to a guy? How did it turn out? Do you agree that sometimes we need to give guys a little push in the right direction? Or do you think that if a man wants to see you, he’ll move heaven and earth to make it happen? Tell!