Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Crestfallen

Based on the highly logical reasoning found in the most important
text of 1979 A.D. - Douglas Adams' “The
Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy” (Ch.6, p52), the following theological
argument can surely now be made:

“I refuse to prove that I exist,”
says God, “for proof denies Faith and without Faith I am nothing.”

“But,” says Man, “the recent
removal of the Bible from the crest of T.C.D. is a dead giveaway isn't it?”

“For,” continues Man, “the symbolic
removal of the Bible from the very institution which has been vouchsafed
custody of the ancient and wondrously illuminated gospels, know as the Book of Kells, simply must involve
levels of irony vastly in excess of those that can possibly be generated even by the most senior management of an
institution determined to become notorious as Ireland's foremost TCD -
Third-level College of Dunce-craft.”

“Oh, that little 're-branding'
matter,” says God nonchalantly, “but they are also changing their crest's
colour scheme and, since it is well-known that I am the Cork team's most
fanatical supporter, I can admit to naughtily feeling secretly pleased that on
the playing fields of my beloved Ireland the letters “TCD” shall henceforth
stand for “Tipperary Colours Denied.”

“We demand!” says Man, “that You
maintain our discourse at a suitably serious level!...so less of the enthusiasm
for mere sporting matters if You please!...Now, it is in fact quite clear that
the irony levels involved in the TCD (Trinity Crest Debacle) are so
mind-blisteringly high as to conclusively indicate the existence of infinite irony.”

“Furthermore, since we now know
from observation that the Universe, while expanding, is finite, any infinite quality (even ironically, irony itself) must
have an infinite source and, if we are to take our monotheism seriously, that
Source can only be You, God.”

“Therefore,” says Man, “we must
inform You that your existence has now been officially TCD'ed – Theologically
Completely Determined. For, by tapping into vast and infinite irony, TCD (Those
Complete Duffers) have, quite accidentally it seems, managed to prove that You
exist , and so therefore, by Your own arguments, You don't. QED.”

“Oh, that was easy,” says Man who
then, for an encore, (having removed the text upon which western civilisation's
moral and economic limitation is based -i.e. the manual of its governance),
continues to unwittingly install and happily practice quite the opposite -i.e.
anti-governance.

And the rest is, as they say, likely merely prefaced by our recent
history.

Clickworthy...

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