Immediately after
you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make
it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon

Beef Curtain

The skanked out
remains of the labia after being stretched like Play-Doh from an hour of
jimmy-jam. (see also BEEF DRAPES or MEAT TARP)

Beetle Clip

You insert your
thumb into the snatch and forefinger into the poop shoot and try your
damnedest to make them touch each other

Bismarck

This is another one
involving oral sex. Right before you are about to cum, you pull out,
shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear
the blood and cum together

Blumpkin

You need to find a
real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while
you are on the shitter

Boston Cooler

Any form of oral
stimulation in which you cleverly conceal ice cubes in you mouth to
surprise your partner

Bronco

When you're taking a
girl doggy-style and just at the moment of climax you reach around, grab
her tits as tightly as you can, scream out another girl's name, and enjoy
the sensation as she tries to buck you off

Bucking Bronco

An all time classic.
You start by going doggy style on a girl and then just when she is really
enjoying it, you grab onto her tits or hips as tightly as possible and
call her a big fat no-good worthless slob. More than likely, she will try
to escape. This will give you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries
to buck you off

Bullwinkle

When you're entering
your partner from the rear and you reach up front, wrench her nipples as
hard as you can, put your hands up to the sides of your head like antlers,
and wiggle your fingers and stick out your tongue while emitting a high
pitched turkey gobble

Camel Clutch

When she's lying on
her stomach with you giving it to her from behind and you decide to
emulate the Iron Sheik through his signature move, grabbing her underneath
the chin and pulling straight back with both hands

Chili Dog

You take a shit on a
girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her

Clean Sweep

Any four of these
performed upon the same person over the course of a single evening

Code of Silence

Anytime you fuck a
girl that's so dirty or ugly that you rip off the used condom, gag her
with it, and tell her that you'll kill her if she tells a soul what just
happened between the two of you

Coyote

This occurs when you
wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her
the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her.
Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can
be very painful

Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch

The once in a
lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the back of a girl's throat
and then proceeding to give her a large cold bottle of your favorite
carbonated drink, making her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head
vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping
effect. A great way to impress your friends

Davy Crockett

A sexual maneuver in
which you slip a muscle relaxant into your gal's snizzpod, then slide your
head in, thus wearing your partner's now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin
cap

Dirty Sanchez

A time honored event
in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert Your finger into
said woman's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across her upper lip leaving a
thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name would be
Dirty Sanchez. AKA Filthy Sanchez

Divot

A must for golfers!
When you've got your hand below the belt on some girl with a fair amount
of bush, you grab on to as much of it as you can, scream "Fore!" and rip
every last pube out of her

Dog in a Bathtub

This is a proper
name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so
named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while
giving it a bath

Dolphin

When you're giving
it to a girl from behind and you pull out to stuff it in her butt when she
turns her head around and whimpers, "Uh Uh, Uh Uh," sounding exactly like
a dolphin

Donkey Punch

Banging a girl doggy
style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and
then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous
sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so
that her asshole tightens up

Dutch Oven

Rather simple.
Whenever you bust ass while in the sack pull the covers over both of your
head so she can enjoy your pork and beans as well

Dutch Oven

Entrapping an
unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the
covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into
that sort of thing)

Dutch Treat

The unexpected
result of a DUTCH OVEN gone terribly awry. Very messy. (see GAMBLING AND
LOSING)

Eiffel Tower

When you and a
friend decide to work a girl over together. You get her down on all fours
with one of you in her mouth and the other going at it doggy style. From
this position you give one another a mighty, two-handed high five, making
the entire structure resemble the Eiffel tower

Felching

A homosexual
activity in which one guy fucks another and proceeds to suck his own
splooge out of his partner's asshole with a straw. This one's not even
popular in prison

Fish Eye

From behind, you
shove your finger in her ass (or his if you are in prison). Thereupon she
turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are
doing

Fishhook

This is a variation
of the shocker in which you pull back towards the pussy after you stick
your finger up her anus

Flaming Amazon

This one's for all
you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some chick, right when
your about to cum, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set
her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!

Flying Camel

As she is lying on
her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance
yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to
flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote.
Strictly a high class move

Fortune Cookie

After you're done
banging some chick, you slip the condom off as you pull out, leaving it in
there for the next customer

Fountain of You

While sitting on her
face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much
pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all
over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)

Free Willy

When you've worked
up such a throbber that when some girl unzips your pants to give you a
hummer, you spring forth and poke her eye out harpoon style

Frothy Walrus

When a man is
getting a blow job. At the point of orgasm (assuming that the performer
swallows) the blowee punches the blower in the stomach, causing the semen
to shoot out their nose. If punching is too violent (but who are you
kidding after you just did a donkey punch?) tell a very funny joke

Fur Ball

You're chomping away
at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel
Richie's Afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and
causes you to beat the piss out of her

Gaylord Perry

Going to only one
knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle ball
pitcher proud and use multiple knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A
minimum of two knuckles required (either on one finger or on multiple)

Glass Bottom Boat

Putting saran wrap
over your partners face and proceeding to lay a hot shit there

Glazed Doughnut

The act of taking a
girl in the ass, pulling out, and spoo-ing all over her "pastry buns",
thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering
glazed donut. (see also COP'S DELIGHT)

Gobstopper

When you're
receiving a hand job and just as you're about to come, the girl decides to
squeeze your unit with all of her might and cap you off with her thumb

Golden Shower

Any form of pissing
all over a chick (a.k.a.- water sports)

Grand Slam

Any four of these
performed upon the same person over the course of a single evening

Greek

The act of using
your "glue stick" and gluing your gal's eyes closed with your man seed.
eg. "Hey guys, check it out, I just greeked her!" or "Sorry honey, but you
asked for the greek salad"

Hat Trick

Any two of these
performed over the course of a single evening

High Dive

The skill of pulling
your Johnson all the way out of your partner's hole, and in one motion
jamming it home again. Best used in the CORN HOLE technique, but can be
very dangerous

Hot Karl

The act in which a
woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments earlier was balls deep in
her can. (see also CORN HOLE)

Hot Karl Candy Cane

A variation of the
above in which the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning gives the
woman a reach around. (See also SHOCKER)

Hot Lunch

While receiving head
from a woman, you proceed to shit on her chest. (A.k.a. the Cleveland
Steamer)

Houdini

Going at it
doggy-style until you are just about to come, then pull out and spit on
her back so she thinks that you have. When she turns around a blast is
unleashed into her face and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering how
you managed it

Hummer

While sucking on
your rod, she emits a low humming noise. The vibrations from her throat
make it all too easy to bring her concert to a quick end

Jelly Doughnut

A derivation of the
Bismark. All you have to do is punch her in the nose while you are getting
head

Kennebunkport Surprise

The act of covertly
filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England clam chowder, and
screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partners legs while
chewing box

Moose

The sign given to a
friend in hiding while in doggie style behind some chick. It is performed
by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving
wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky" (see also BULLWINKLE)

Mudslide

After convincing
some girl to give you a little ass munching action, you proceed to unleash
a massive flow of diarrhea and sit there and laugh as it runs down her
face and body

New York Style Taco

Anytime when you are
so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. Happy trails

Nixon

A variation of the
MOOSE in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance. May
enhance the act by shaking jowls and yelling "I'm not a crook". This is
considered very bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of
decorum

One in the Fridge, One in the Freezer

Another one that
requires a partner, this simply refers to you and a buddy putting one in
her pussy and another in her butt, and simultaneously trying to reach her
uterus and large intestine

Oven Stuffed Roaster

The unusual method
of inserting one's finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her,
and feeling her cervix. This procedure is most effective from behind. (see
also NEW JERSEY MEAT HOOK)

Pasadena Mudslide

The act of leaving a
windy shit between the breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for
a blow job. (A close cousin to the CLEVELAND STEAMER)

Paying The Rent

A position in which
the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds
the balk of her calves and bangs ferociously

Pearl Necklace

Well known. Whenever
you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of
beautiful jewelry

Pink glove

This frequently
happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to
give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink
glove

Purple Mushroom

This occurs when a
woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke
it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to
purple mushroom

Ram

Again, you're
attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in
a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper
penetration. This is very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity

Rape and Pillage

Any four of these
performed upon the same person over the course of a single evening

Rapunzel

When no amount of
suggestion, persuasion, or begging will get a girl to go down on you and
you're forced to resort to simply pulling her head down there by the hair

Ray-Bans

Put your testicles
over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on fore head) It
may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try

Rear Admiral

An absolute blast.
When getting a chic from behind (while both partners standing), make sure
you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive
your hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forward. The
goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun to have
her trip on her face on the floor. You become an Admiral when you can push
her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your
hands to grab onto her hips

Rim Job

Another name for
tossing salad. Focuses on the use of the tongue

Rodeo

A variation of the
Bronco where a bunch of your closest friends are hidden in a bedroom
closet prior to the sexual encounter. At some type of a prompt, they all
run out with a video camera and you try and see how long you can stay on
as she tries to get away

Roscoe

Can't achieve an
erection when your partner is fellating you? pull that chubby
one-eyed-charmer out of her mouth and give her a few whacks. For more fun
have Roscoe contests with your buddies!

Rumpledforeskin

When some girl makes
you stop fucking her because she somehow realizes that you don't remember
her name, causing you to go limp (like the fairy tale)

Samoan Pile Driver

A sexual position
that occurs when the woman's back and bed are perpendicular, but she is
upside down (see also FLOAT VALVE). The practitioner of the PILE DRIVER
stands above the woman and points his shit due south, simply bending his
knees for repeated bludgeoning. This process is repeated while screaming,
"ABDAY ABDAY ABDAY, HA!" Repeat and Rinse

Screwnicorn

When a dyke puts her
strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a
crazed unicorn

Skull Fuck

The act of removing
a person's eye (unless you really luck out and find someone who's already
lost one) and fucking the gaping hole left in its place

Six Pack

When performing the
above and you attempt to carry the girl around (similar to the way you
would a six pack)

Shocker

When you're
fingering a girl and decide to give her a surprise so you insert a digit
or two into her asshole

Shop-Vac

The act of making a
chick inhale your hog from behind while you're "pulling the V". (see FRUIT
BASKET, SILENCE OF THE LAMBS)

Snow Balling

Occurs when some
chick takes your load in her mouth and has the audacity come up and kiss
you while it's still in there

Snowmobile

Always a blast. When
getting a girl while she's on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls
on her face

Stinky Pinky

When you're going at
it from the back and you insert a pinky finger in along side your member,
reach around front, and plunge it so far into her nostril that it tilts
her head back

Stranger

Sitting on your hand
until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a
hand job from someone else

Tea Bagging

The all time classic
maneuver of tapping your cock on a chick's forehead whilst she is sucking
on your balls, and uttering the timeless phrase "Who's Your daddy?"

Technical Knockout (TKO)

Any three of these
performed upon the same person over the course of a single evening

Topeka Destroyer

The act of vomiting
directly onto some chick's head while she's performing fellatio (See also
COLD LUNCH)

Tossing Salad

Another prison act
where one person is forced to basically chow asshole with the help of
whatever condiments are available, i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never
going to prison

Triple Crown

Any three of these
performed upon the same person over the course of a single evening

Trombone

This is when the
female lies on the deck, face up. You then squat over her face facing her
feet. You lower your ass down so that your hoop rests on her lips. She
then blows up your hoop, feeds her hand between your legs and wanks you
off at the same time

Tuna Melt

You're down on a
chick lapping away and discover that it just happens to be the time of the
month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce
with a hint of raspberry smothers your face

V-Plow

When you're muff
diving and in order to look up at the girl you drag your whole face
through her snatch, nose proudly leading the way, parting that nasty labia

Vegetarian Hot Lunch

A variation of the
HOT LUNCH in which the "diner" stretches a piece of saran wrap over her
mouth such that chewing (for texture) is possible, but no actual contact
with waste product occurs (see DENTAL DAM)

Western Grip

When jerking off,
turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the
same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western

Wet Burrito

Similar to the Dirty
Sanchez, only performed with your own ball sweat

Wolf Bagging

The beginners
maneuver of waiting until your lover (or wife I suppose) is beginning to
orgasm, punch her repeatedly in the stomach. This will induce vomit and
screaming. The vomiting will create convulsing, which intensifies her
orgasm. The punching and screaming will satisfy your violent rape
fantasies. and reinforce your feelings of superiority. Chanting 'I'm the
Master, I'm the Master' will add to this feeling. The important thing is
your doing it for HER pleasure, which will strengthen her respect for you,
and, if she's gobby, will increase your chances of getting a ride from one
of her mates

Woody Woodpecker

When a girl is
sucking on your balls, tap the head of your cock on her forehead

Zombie Mask

While getting head
from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want
her to look right up at you with those "pretty little eyes" when you blow
your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo,
blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will
produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms
outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead