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Tuesday, March 19, 2013

My Brain is on Fire

So I'm having a baby this Friday.

Holy....

Whatever.

I'm going to be induced on Thursday, so baby will most likely come sometime Friday, unless he decides to surf that amniotic fluid into the world earlier (I start being induced around 5pm Thursday and I'm supposed to sleep overnight at the hospital and give birth Friday).

My natural reaction is not to be excited and squeal-y, but to use lots of profanity and look out the window in awe. Yep. I don't think it will really hit me until I'm in the middle of labor. The whole thing is surreal. And I get to parent? Let me rephrase that: God/The Universe somehow is allowing me to parent. With Bryan. I'm humbled, awed, and a little confused by the whole thing. Shouldn't we require permits or something for this? Seems like a pretty big deal. I have to show proof of residency to get internet hooked up. I mean. Yeah.

Moving on.

I'm on bedrest, but only for 2.5 days. Which pretty much means it's like an exxxtttraaaa weeeeeekend. I am not supposed to do stuff (like cook or clean or move much from off the bed or couch) and I'm feeling both incredibly lazy and like I should be getting shiz DONE. Which I am not.

On the other hand, I've watched Glee, eaten some cinnamon swirl crunch bread, had a cup of tea, and had four cookies. So. There's that.

Also: according to my doctors, who weigh me in full clothes/shoes/cellphonecarryingstuff mode, I've gained thirty pounds.

Lies.

According to my ridiculously weight gain graph that I use every other day or so, I'm at exactly 24 pounds. Eat it, doctor's office. No one really weighs themselves in full clothes. We do things the civilized way: you only weigh in the morning. Naked. After your morning poop. Duh.

So that means that I can gain a full pound of cookies in the next 2.5 days. Yeah. Bring it on lemon cookies. Apple cinnamon cookies. Orange cranberry cookies. UNF. So good.

Also, I should be preparing by meditating, doing my Hypnobabies course and thinking happy thoughts, or something. I'm sure. But so far I'm just playing on the internet. Lalala. I'll have a human life to contend with at the end of the week. Gotta soak up the lazy, irresponsible moments now.

In completely other news: I have a compulsion to buy any perfume/cologne sample that promises to smell like Earl Grey. It's true. I used to swear by The Morbid The Merrier's "Morton," but the shop has since closed and there was all sorts of hullabaloo with orders not being filled. It took almost a full year to get my refund back from an order I placed before they closed.

Drama.

But now... now I am back in the "I need to buy crap on Etsy that smells pretty" train. My new favorite is Alkemia Perfume's "Arcanum," perfumed oil. It's delicious. Alkemia sells really interesting and diverse perfumes, and they have an incredibly lovely habit of sending samples with your order. LOVE! Arcanum is one of the many perfumes I've sampled so far, and I love it the most. Here's the description:

YUM. It's less head-shop smelly than the "Hippy Gypsy" perfume Alkemia sells, and has less of the slightly cleaner-esque hint that "Sanguinea" carries. I am in love with it. This is the sort of patchouli blend that wouldn't make my friend Lindsay run for the hills. She sort of hated when I wore patchouli and gardenia back in college because she thought it smelled like straight up dirt. Or something worse, I'm not sure. I was in LOVE with it, but I get that each scent smells different to different people. I think Arcanum has enough spiciness and nag champa to keep it from smelling too dirty.

This blend evokes the feeling of sitting in an old library chair paging
through yellowed copies of Hemingway, Shakespeare, Fitzgerald, Poe, and
more. The Dead Writers blend makes you want to put on a kettle of black
tea and curl up with your favorite book. This bottle contains black tea, vetiver, clove, musk,
vanilla, heliotrope, and tobacco. It can be worn by either sex.

Do you wear patches on your elbows and sit in dimly lit rooms drinking
black coffee or tea smoking packs of clove cigarettes (Djarum Blacks)?
If this describes you, or you’re just the type of person who prefers a
“dirty perfume” then put some of this on before you head out to work on
that novel at the local coffee shop. Dead Writers is musky and has a
stale smoke smell. It is lightened by some vanilla and heliotrope (a
flower that in combination with the vanilla smells like a sweet milk
creamer you might add to your tea). If you’ve never had a musky perfume
and want to live dangerously without smelling homeless, go for the
Georgiana.

Now. I have an issue with wanting my perfumes dirty, and I love the scent of tea in perfumes. The issue is that I need and want and gah.

I also decided to pick up a sample of Georgiana, which is supposed to smell like this:

Are you a lady who dresses for dinner and… I can’t think of anything
clever, basically you are Dowager Countess Maggie Smith elegance.
Georgiana literally smells like a cup of Earl Grey tea.
It’s my most subtle perfume and has a soft, sultry, smokiness that is
perfect for an evening on the town. I wear this one when I want to be
fancy. If you were interested in the smokiness of Dead Writers but don’t
want to overdo it with the musk, then Georgiana is the one for you. The
bergamot really brightens it up and it smells more feminine.

1 comment:

Ah, tea perfumes. The best! Have you heard of the I Hate Perfume brand? His scents are amazing! Super expensive, but amazing. Mal bought me some samples a while back that I still have. My favorites are Russian Caravan Tea, which is a smokey tea scent, Tabacco (no need to explain that one I think), and In the Library, which surprisingly is probably my fav. ;)

CB says: "In the Library is a warm blend of English Novel*, Russian & Moroccan Leather Bindings, Worn Cloth and a hint of Wood Polish

*The main note in this scent was copied from one of my favorite novels originally published in 1927. I happened to find a signed first edition in pristine condition many years ago in London. I was more than a little excited because there were only ever a hundred of these in the first place. It had a marvelous warm woody slightly sweet smell and I set about immediately to bottle it. "

Love it! He even at one point had a perfume called Skin I think. Now he has one called Burning Leaves! Oooo. Anyhoo, enjoy your last couple days of freedom! And check out CB's site: http://www.cbihateperfume.com/home.html

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About Me

In the past five years I've lived 6 different places. The hubs and I currently live in Jackson, Wyoming. I love mango sorbet, and dried lavender. I drink about four cups of tea per day. I love Battlestar Galactica and Pride and Prejudice equally. I want a dog, preferably a Doberman-mix. I am trying to eat less meat. I read lots of blogs, and have one of my own. I do not believe in soul mates but I do believe in love. My husband is my best friend. I wish my family lived closer to me (because I am not moving back to the Midwest). I love ginger in pretty much all its forms. I'm not good at flossing. I sometimes eat too many gummy vitamin Ds because they are delicious.