Today we learned about Cellulaze, a very expensive laser treatment that is being heralded as a possible "cure" for cellulite — as if cellulite were an illness, a plague of the thighs, a disease of the ass. Cellulaze was covered in the New York Times and the Today Show, which conveniently demonstrated the procedure.…

Cellulaze! Cellulaze is a revolution. A revelation. The procedure, which requires only one doctor's visit, has been approved by the FDA for treating cellulite — an actual long-lasting "fix" for the problem. Except, of course, if we're being completely honest, we have to admit: Cellulite isn't actually a problem.