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Synopsis

Warwick visits a "spiritual counselor" to try to put his chaotic life back in order. The questionable psychic, Bryan, channels advice from beyond, and a "spirit" named Stewart says Warwick will meet a new woman, though the ghost refuses to give any bankruptcy recommendations. Afterward, Warwick does meet a young lady at the supermarket, but a condom snafu at the cash register quickly kills the prospect.

Feeling newly spiritual, Warwick shops around for a new religion. Unfortunately the Catholic Church's moratorium on masturbation is a deal-breaker for him, and his meeting doesn't go well at the Scientology center after he leads with, "Now if I was to join your cult ..." In the end, Warwick decides to stick with the Church of England because it provides an easy ticket to heaven with very few rules attached.

Warwick uses a dating service to meet another woman, named Amy, but when he shows up, he's angry to find that she's a dwarf who didn't include a full-body photo in her profile. Despite starting off on the wrong foot, they get along well and agree to another date. When Warwick arrives for the second outing, however, he's insulted when the maître d' assumes that he's there to meet Amy, rather than a tall attractive woman waiting alone. He takes his seat and grills Amy on whether she thinks he's attractive enough to pull the other woman. He tries to lean back in his chair rakishly to get the stranger's attention, but his chair tips and he falls into the middle of the dining room. Amy runs off, mortified, while Warwick does a terrible job of trying to coolly play off whole the situation.