Obama Wants Your Wedding Presents

Who Needs A Blender When You Can Help Re-elect Barack Obama?

Apparently the Obama campaign staff has gone into full panic mode after Mitt Romney beat the president in fund raising in May. The Obama campaign released what can only be deemed an act of complete silliness: a plea to people to have cash gifts from their wedding redirected to the Obama campaign.

The re-election brain-trust in Chicago decided to launch the “event registry,” asking those couples who have weddings between now and Election Day to solicit their wedding guests for donations to the Obama campaign in lieu of gifts for the happy couple. Seem like a very bad version of the Wedding Crashers movie? What kind of pathetic move is it for the President of the United States to intrude upon a private ceremony to appeal for donations to his re-election effort?

No wedding in your future? Fear not; the Obama campaign team will happily take your birthday gifts, baby shower gifts and anniversary gifts; they’d probably be more than happy to collect savings bonds from a Briss. Does the term classless come to mind?

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How long before the ACORN folks start offering to wash our windshields for a donation to Obama 2012?

This all begs the question: To what depths is the Obama campaign willing to go to scrape together a few extra bucks to sell the unsellable? In an attempt to help David Axelrod save the last few threads of hair on his head, here are some ideas the Obama campaign might want to consider:

The Girl Scouts have done quite well at raising funds through the sale of cookies. The standard Thin Mints, Samoas, Tagalongs and Do-si-dos have done well, but perhaps it’s time to break out a new variety: the Barry-O. The Barry-O can only be sold to adults as it comes laced with cocaine, costs $300 a box and instead of a UPC code includes a cut-out “Get out of deportation” card.

Nothing sells in the U.S. like a t-shirt with a snappy phrase. The president sold a lot of those cute little rainbow “Hope and Change” t-shirts in 2008; they’ll probably not sell quite as well after four years of broken promises, half his customers on unemployment and more people worried about foreclosure than a campaign wardrobe. Perhaps a more timely design, such as the “He’ll do better this time! t-shirt!” Nothing says you believe in Obama better than declaring to the world that your president’s first term was just a training mission.

Several other products worthy of review by the Obama campaign staff:

The Obama intelligent wallet: you put your cash in and it redistributes it to those more worthy

A digital watch that displays your share of the national debt and comes with a coupon you can give to your kids and grand kids to buy their own

A bumper sticker that says, “Socialism is a pre-existing condition”

The Obama golf ball of the week club

Of course this is all tongue-in-cheek, but when the President of the United States asks people to redirect wedding presents to his re-election campaign, how can you take anything seriously?