Sunday, November 16, 2014

Three Little Words

Three Little Words

Here in the states the countdown to the festive season has begun in earnest. In the NY Times yesterday, I read an article about a woman in Natchez Mississippi who is expecting one hundred and forty-five people for Thanksgiving dinner. Needless to say, she has been preparing for this annually performed culinary feat since before Halloween. Everywhere I looked today I saw women with lists - checking things off, getting ready - secure in the knowledge that the majority of holiday tasks will fall to them no matter what other responsibilities they may have.

On my recent journey to the Shetland Islands, I took a Fair Isle knitting class in which I was introduced to an odd object called a “knitting belt”, a horsehair-filled leather pouch dotted with holes in which to stick one’s knitting needles. Women used to employ these, and many still do, so that they could knit whilst keeping one hand free to perform other tasks such as cooking, laundry and gardening, a triumph of dexterity that boggles the mind.

We women are remarkable creatures. Whilst our male friends may occasionally speak of “multi-tasking” as a notable skill, we know it to be a way of life. We are well acquainted with doing many things at once, and I might add, doing them pretty doggone well. We have evolved to a point where we take pride in our independence and self-reliance, comfortably confident in our intelligence and our abilities. And yet….

Last week during my knitting group, Whiskyknitters, I listened as several women debated a recent article that has been making the internet rounds. The article, written by a man, took on the topic of the three sexiest words a man can say to a woman. “I Love You”? Nope. “You look beautiful?” Not even close. No, after speaking with his women friends he had figured out that the three words that tend to make a woman swoon are, “I Got This.”

My fellow Whiskyknitters are all confident, competent women but I watched with interest as each got a faraway, wistful look in her eyes as she contemplated these three little words. Said one, “Look, I’m perfectly capable of doing whatever needs to be done, but if someone could occasionally step up and take something off my plate, well gosh.. I’d love that.”

I polled other woman this week on the same issue and watched as each took on that same wistful stare when contemplating a man who would sometimes say to them,

“Don’t worry. I got this.”

We woman can do it all. We can cook and clean, we can write and paint. We can run businesses and countries. We can care for children and aging parents. We sing. We dance. We think. We create. We discover. One of use may even be the next president. Our worth is equal to men in every way and should of course be valued as such. But, as this article points out, there is a difference in masculine and feminine and I wonder if we may have occasionally ignored this in our effort to rise to our rightful place of equality.

I would love to hear what you think.

I Got This.

Do those three little words make you swoon?

“After all, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did,

except she did it backwards and in high heels.”

Ann Richards

(Read the article for yourself, HERE, and let's talk. I promise to answer every comment on this post.)

How lovely your blog is, Pamela. Each picture or photo, each word, all is so pleasurable to the eye and ear. This post spoke to me especially today. Tracy and Hepburn's manner of interacting always amazing to watch - he always the one who she succumbed to for his chivalry/respect/teasing....obvious on the screen as well, their mutual admiration. I'm sure he said "I've got that" many times. Happy Thanksgiving to you, Edward, and the Songwriter.

Absolutely! Since Dave's death, I would seriously consider giving my left kidney to hear someone say, "I'll do that" or "I've got that" because...it just doesn't happen anymore. I am bone weary of living in this behemoth of a house and am, impatiently, waiting for the next owner to come along. In the meantime, "this" is everything and I'm the one who's got it.

I'm not sure which would make me swoon more, the idea that they offered or the fact that it would be one less item on my list leaving me only 15 more things to complete before the big day! I've recently read that scientists who study humans say that we are not designed to multi-task and that it really isn't very good for us. What's the alternative?Fun post!'Karen

I enjoy hearing those words - all three of the sets you shared. Knowing that someone is there to take certain things off my plate is huge relief. These days, though, with his increased work load, I'm finding myself saying "I got that" to him. Give and take as life swirls.

Gosh, I have to admit that at 45, I am right smack dab in a certain generation who refuses to accept the most well-meaning "I got this." I will pull along my own over-stuffed suitcase, bat away a well-meaning hand in the kitchen...it is too embarrassing to go on! And I will step into it further by saying for me...just me we are talking about...I know that I have lost a lot of my femininity because of that. There were just so many years of having to be tough, take care of everything...especially living in NYC that part of that hardened shell has stayed with me. And it can be challenging for my couple too. I live with a Frenchman, not as gallant as say a Maurice Chevalier but it is also such a part of his culture to let "the guy be the guy" sometimes. I don't always do that...thank you for giving me something to think about and have a great weekend, Pamela.

I am very fortunate. My husband frequently takes over tasks when he knows my schedule is packed. It isn't as if his schedule isn't packed, too, but he does offer me a hand before I ask. Of course, I did train him well....:)

Our marriage is teamwork. We each have our roles, but we don't defend territories, so he cooks and cleans toilets and I pull weeds and pay bills. When he finished vacuuming the carpet this morning, I told him he is the Sexiest Man Alive.

Pamela this article means so much to me. While I have been rehabbing for another hip replacement, my son has been here for me more than ever before, offering to help me and it has meant the world to me. Things in everyday life can be so overwhelming at certain times and every woman needs someone who will say and do this!

I perceive the "I got this" as a caring offering. It is something anyone can do for a friend, family member, or spouse. The article author seemed to focus on the "I got this" as "taking care of" the other. He was cautious about how today's women would react. This perception seems to be a bit old-fashioned. Showing compassion for another is a visible expression for those who seek a personal deepening. The author spoke about the phrase as the three sexiest words. I am not interested in sexy words. When we can get past what is culturally sexy in our romantic relationships, I believe we enter another dimension of caring.

Perhaps he was saying that he's found most women are not particularly interested in culturally sexy words either. Words of caring and unasked for help are much more attractive. And you are right, we should all look for ways to "get this" for each other, no matter how we are connected. xo

I too am LUCKY as I have a husband who jumps in and takes charge on many levels..........clearing dishes,cooking,cleaning up my messes in the kitchen,feeding the chickens.......making coffee on the weekend and bringing it to me in bed!I know I am VERY LUCKY as most men would just sit.I hope I have brought up two SONS that will be "I GOT THIS" type of men..........so far so good I believe it comes from EXAMPLE and being a HAPPY person.

I had never thought about those three little words that way but yes, the way you describe it, it is romantic, the old-fashioned type of romantic, the best type!I have never heard of a knitting belt, makes me smile trying to imagine one in use!Susan, x

Pamela,Have you seen the blog called "Manger"-- it's French, obviously, but in English. The author is a very beautiful Chinese/French woman who shares recipes and her enviable life in Medoc area of France. It's delightful.Also--- you know of South Street Linen company? Delish clothes.

I love to read your comments! Each and every one! Though I'm always reading your comments, I may not respond in the comment section. If you want to write me directly, you may do so at pamela@pamelaterry.net. Thank you for reading!

About Me

Writer, Interior Designer, Baker, Knitter, Gardener, devoted to Beauty.. on the journey through life along with her big white furry wonderful dog... living in the American South and dreaming of the Scottish Highlands