Confusion: Its Sources and Remedies

Some travelers claim they don't mind getting lost on the highways; they even enjoy it. It's a way of discovering new places, they say, of finding new paths. No one, however, enjoys getting lost when she's reading. And the possibilities for getting lost, the potential sources of confusion, are in every sentence, every turn of phrase. There is the large scale to consider: an essay's organization and the transitions from one idea to the next, the way ideas are introduced and matters concluded. (See the section on Coherence for help with such matters.) Within the sentence itself, however, there are many places where our readers can get lost.

The problem is thatunlike rereading our own essays for misplaced commas and misspelled wordswe often can't see where a reader can get lost. We know where our sentence was headed, we know what we had in mind, so we're not apt to understand someone else's confusion. This section of the Guide to Grammar and Writing addresses the sources of and remedies for confusion at the level of sentence structure. (At the level of individual wordswords that we often confuse because they sound like other wordsplease review another section, the Notorious Confusables.)

Although the season has not yet begun has caused the public to get over anxious for information about the team.

Repair Work

Although the season has not yet begun, the public is overly anxious for information about the team.

This sentence begins with an adverb clause, which is a legitimate way to begin a sentence, but an adverb clause can't act as a noun; it can't be a subject. In the repaired sentence, we've allowed the adverb clause to do its normal modifying work and made "public" the subject of the independent clause. This can happen with structures other than adverb clauseslike prepositional phrases.

Confusion

In its attempt to spark sales of season tickets broke several rules about pre-season publicity.

Repair Work

In its attempt to spark sales of season tickets, the basketball program broke several rules about pre-season publicity.

Repair Work

The basketball program's attempt to spark sales of season tickets broke several rules about pre-season publicity.

It is not impossible for a prepositional phrase to serve as the subject, but it's quite rare in formal prose, and quite unlikely for this sentence. We can either allow the prepositional phrase to modify the independent clause or allow a new subject, the "basketball program," to own the information in the prepositional phrase.

It is sometimes tempting to allow what we could call a "double start," a sentence which actually has two subjects in a situation that calls for one.

Confusion

The new system of student registration, we began to use it in the fall.

Repair Work

We began to use the new system of student registration in the fall.

A similar source of confusion occurs with another kind of mixed construction, when we allow a complete sentence to act as the subject of another sentence.

Confusion

Beginning in the fall of 1997, we began to use the system called Banner, was the responsibility of the registrar's office.

Repair Work

Beginning in the fall of 1997, we began to use the system called Banner. The Registrar's office was responsible for this initial project.

Another mixed construction is the result of an adverbial phrase (frequently the combination of a preposition and a gerund) acting as the subject of a sentence.

Confusion

By devising carefully worded forms ahead of time made the registrar's job much easier.

Repair Work

Devising carefully worded forms ahead of time made the Registrar's job much easier.

Adverbial clauses cannot be allowed to act as subjects, either.

Confusion

Even if students' records are lost in the shuffle of registration does not mean they will have to start the process over.

Repair Work

Even if students' records are lost in the shuffle of registration, they will not necessarily have to start the process over.

Repair Work

Students do not have to start the process over if their records are lost in the registration shuffle.

If the subject-predicate equation hinges on a to be verb, we must be careful that the elements on either side of the verb are equal in kind and that they can, in fact, be equated.

Confusion

Those who want the new fieldhouse on campus and those who want it in the city would be an unlikely place at this time.

Repair Work

Those who want the new fieldhouse on campus and those who want it in the city will have to agree on the best place for it to be built.

The phrases "the reason is because" and "the reason why is because" have crept into our language in spite of their inherent redundancy. The word reasonmeanswhy or because, so to create a subject-predicate equation in which the subject means the same thing as itself is redundant. Think "the reason that" and the problem is solved.

Confusion

The reason they were so eager to sell tickets is because they're trying to refurbish the old fieldhouse.

Repair Work

They reason they were so eager to sell tickets is that they're trying to refurbish the old fieldhouse.

Repair Work

They were so eager to sell tickets because they're trying to refurbish the old fieldhouse.

Two more phrases that create subject-predicate difficulty are is when and is where, especially when we're trying to create our own definitions. A definition must consist of nouns on both sides of the equation represented by the to be verb, not a noun and an adverb clause.

Confusion

Libel is when you print something that can ruin someone else's reputation.

Confusion

Libel is where you've printed something that can ruin someone else's reputation.

Repair Work

Libel is the publication of material that can ruin someone else's reputation.

When pronouns do not agree with their antecedents or when it is not clear what the pronouns refer to, confusion will follow. Do not allow a pronoun to refer to more than one thing at once. In the sentence below, does "them" refer to the recruits or the veteran players or both?

Confusion

To encourage the recruits to blend in with veteran players, the coaches let them play in summer leagues.

Repair Work

The coaches let the recruits play in summer leagues so they'd be able to blend in with veteran players.

Be careful not to allow too much text between a pronoun and its antecedent; your reader will have difficulty, again, figuring out what the pronoun is supposed to refer to. Does the "who" below refer to the recruits, the friends, the team?

Confusion

The recruits seemed to blend in with the team's master strategies and make friends on the team who played during the summer months.

Repair Work

The recruits who played during the summer months seemed to blend in with the team's master strategies and make friends on the team.

Be careful of clauses beginning with which, that, it and this as relative pronouns or demonstrative pronouns. Make sure it is perfectly clear what these pronouns refer to. In certain situations, a pronoun might refer to a specific word in a preceding clause or the entire preceding clause. In the sentence below, does the "which clause" (the adjective clause) tell you that the reporters knew about the team's history or that they discovered that the coach was ignorant?

Confusion

The new coach seemed to know nothing about his team's recent history, which reporters seem to pick up on quickly.

Repair Work

Reporters quickly picked up on the fact that the new coach knew nothing about his team's recent history.

In the next sentence, does "it" refer to spending extra hours or to the strategy?

It wasn't necessary for the coaching staff to spend those extra hours devising strategy.

And what does "this" refer to?

Confusion

The assistant coaches and the head coach seemed to know nothing about drawing up plays, and they couldn't agree on what their master strategy should be. This seemed to bother the press more than the players.

Repair Work

The fact that the assistant coaches and the head coach seemed to know nothing about drawing up plays and couldn't agree on a master strategy bothered the press more than the players.

Make sure that "it" always has a clearly defined, sensible antecedent.

Confusion

Coach Espinoza made several recruiting trips around the country, but it came to no avail.

Repair Work

Coach Espinoza made several recruiting trips around the country, but her efforts were not successful.

Coach Calhoun tends to analyze games more than his assistant coaches do.

At the risk of exploiting a cliché, compare oranges to oranges, apples to apples.

Confusion

The stress of getting ready for a big basketball game is worse than a wedding.

Repair Work

The stress of getting ready for a big basketball game is worse than the stress of getting ready for a wedding.

Repair Work

The stress of getting ready for a big basketball game is worse than that of getting ready for a wedding.

Be careful when you're comparing things of the same class. We can't say that Michael Jordan was better than any basketball player because Michael Jordan was a basketball player. To make such a comparison logical, we'd have to say that Michael Jordan was better than any other basketball player. And, finally, finish your comparisons. We're all aware of automobile advertisements claiming that "Car X is better and faster!" Better and faster than what?

Be careful, also, not to mix metaphors. We often use metaphors or analogies to make things more vivid for our readers:

Students were sprawled across the sun-drenched quadrangle like fat seals on a California beach.

Students lined up at the bookstore cash register like ants.

If you refer to the students as "ants," however, don't turn them into penguins in the next sentence. The manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers, Davey Johnson, was quoted as saying this about a temperamental player: "He's probably got a lot on his plate. We've turned the page. I don't have a doghouse." (Hartford Courant: 8/13/99) Any one of those metaphorical phrases might be fine, in informal speech at least, but to mix them this way creates confusion.

Review the section on Consistency of Verb Tense and Pronoun Reference. Shifts in verb tense and pronoun reference can be a major, if temporary, cause of confusion. If there's anything worse than not knowing where you are, it's not knowing when you are. Paragraphs that begin with a dominant present tense should stay in the present; paragraphs that begin with a dominant past should stay in the past. It's that simple. When logic demands, you can shift tense, and your reader will stay with you; when you shift tense without reason, however, you're going to lose your reader.

Shifts in pronoun reference often leave readers wondering whether you're clear about whom you are addressing. An abrupt shift from third-person reference or first-person reference to "you" can leave a reader wondering, "Hey, how'd I get dragged into this?"

Review the section on Using Concise Language for tips on avoiding redundancies and clichés. Although these writing pitfalls will not necessarily lead to confusion, they will eventually annoy your readersor, worse yet, bore them. One further item: in our section on Vocabulary Building, we have a section on Using Five Dollar Words (where a fifty-cent word will do) that warrants your attention. Eschew obfuscation.

Proofreading for Confusion

The best advice we can give on proofreading for sources of confusion is that you shouldn't undertake this task yourself. If time allowsand after you've given your text some time to "cool" a bit, so you have a bit more objectivity about your precious wordsgive the text to a friend or understanding relative (parents and significant others are notoriously bad proofreaders). Have them read it out loud to you. When they look confused (a stumbling in the voice, a glazing of the eyes, a "Huh?"), it's time to highlight that sentence to return to it later, looking for the patterns and applying the remedies we've suggested on this page. If a friend is not available, try reading your text into a tape recorder and then play it back while you read along, stopping the tape and fixing things as you go along. What's important here is that more than one facultyboth eyes and ears are at work. And if someone else's mind is also at work, four faculties are at work. Those little glitches that trip up readers and cause confusion won't stand a chance.

If your school or college has an Honor Code in place, make sure you are not in violation of that code by asking a colleague to help proofread your paper. If seeking that kind of help is a violation of the Honor Code, then your school's Honor Code needs to be revised. Ask faculty members if they would ever dream of sending out an article for publication without having a colleague look it over in an editing mode.