I didn't really get anything from reading this. Only mild confusion as to why their memory is so flaky. The monologue doesn't give us anything more than what you would get from looking at the napoleon deer bugs. We already have these questions, answers would have made the story infinitely more interesting.

The characterization feels really forced. The conflict tries it's best to convince you this could actually happen, but it just doesn't match up with what we've seen of Pinkie Pie. Interesting concept, but the execution fell a bit flat.

The story touched me, but thats it. It's too disconnected and has so few details. You touch a tiny bit on both characters backstories, leaving us with more questions than answers. The characterization is off as well, feeling slightly forced. I don't see the need for Violet to be there, she was distracting from the plot, used a conflict generator.

It would have given a much bigger impact if we weren't trying to piece together all the left out details