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Pam owns a small company and she’s preparing for her next round of job interviews. She feels like she spends a lot of time hiring new employees because she has a revolving door as employees bail out for bigger companies that offer more fringe benefits or higher pay.

She approaches the interviewing and hiring process with a mixture of dread and anticipation. She gets excited when she thinks she may actually find that perfect match of personality and skill set to fit her company. But more often her anticipation evaporates into dread or even fascinated horror.

One recent job applicant, Stuart, earnestly explained that he would not be able to provide identification if he’s hired because the CIA might find him and then his life would be in danger. Sam listed his probation officer as a character reference since that was the only person who saw him on a regular basis. Tamara said her mother was forcing her to look for a job and how long would the interview take anyway.

Pam went home that night to pour a stiff triple shot of single malt scotch. As she sipped her scotch, she thought that finding a good employee is as difficult as finding Prince Charming. No one ever looks as good in person as they do on paper.

The next day, Pam is back in the office shuffling through a new stack of resumes. She weeds out the ones with typos and scary details. Then she sets up a new batch of interviews. The first interviewee, Kim, has a nose ring but says “yes, ma’am” and “no, ma’am” when responding to questions. Annie, the next contestant is covered in neck and arm tattoos and wears a metal-studded dog collar. Sam sits bolt upright and barely utters a complete sentence.

Pam is getting desperate. She needs employees to keep her business afloat.

What are Pam’s options?

She can accept the fact that her employees won’t stay long and adapt her business model to reflect the reality of the revolving door.

She can outsource much of the hiring process which will save her time. Of course, a staffing agency may not have any better luck than her at finding appropriate job applicants for her company.

She can close her business and go work for a distillery since her single malt scotch is the only thing bringing her happiness at the moment.

The above examples of job applicants are taken from actual interviews, although names have been changed to protect the innocent, the scary, and the downright weird.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

It’s been a long day and Mary is catching up on her emails. As she deletes all the unsolicited introductions from sales people trying to sell her stuff she either doesn’t want or can’t afford, she wonders again if she was completely nuts to open her own business.

When she’s not avoiding obnoxious sales pitches, she’s dealing with job seekers. She can track the college graduation season simply by the number of unsolicited emails she receives. She rarely reads the attached resumes because of the first impressions created by the emails. The smart graduates use proper grammar and complete sentences in their emails. The smartest graduates actually look at her company website to see what kind of business she runs.

She sighs and clicks on the next email. Its contents strike her so forcibly that she takes a big swig of her single malt scotch. She glances out the window to see if it’s a full moon; it’s not. It’s also too early for the solar eclipse. No natural phenomenon explains the email she’s reading.

The email says, “Hey, y’all, I just graduated from college and I’d love to come work for you if you’ve got an opening. If you don’t have any jobs right now, please keep me in mind when you do. Thx, Candace.”

Mary’s received some strange introductions from job-seekers. She was once chased two city blocks until she realized the crazy man running after her wasn’t a stalker; he was trying to hand deliver his resume. She’s had friends ask her to hire their college-aged children because some of those young people are otherwise unemployable.

Mary knows that millennials are much more informal than her generation of workers. But Candace’s email introduction surely takes the prize. This clueless waif graduated from college without ever learning how to present herself to a potential employer.

What should Mary do next?

She can hit delete and ignore Candace because it’s not her responsibility to teach millennials how to apply for a job.

She can drink more scotch and save the email for the bad days when she needs a quick laugh.

She can remember her own job-hunting mistakes and email Candace some kind advice on how the power of first impressions affects gainful employment.

Informality is preferable to the strict workplace hierarchies of the past that stifled innovation and creativity. However, informality should never cross the line into disrespect. HR can help by encouraging college placement offices to teach soon-to-be-graduates how to properly approach prospective employers.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

Another update from the Jungle…
Renee owns a small bakery that is growing rapidly but still needs to plow the profits back into the business to ensure its long term success. She knows the long term success of the bakery depends on the quality of the employees.

She learned through trial and error that she needed to be clear about what she was looking for in a new employee. One early hire, Debra, was great at baking muffins but seemed to hate people. Customers would dash out the door if they saw Debra at the counter waiting to serve them. Renee eased Debra out the door so that she could go be successful with a different employer. Then Renee revised her job descriptions to focus on all the skills, not just baking, that she needs.

Renee also realized that hiring the right employee is not enough. New hire Marta didn’t know how to use a convection heat oven and her first batch of cookies were harder than hockey pucks. Afterthe smoke cleared and the hockey pucks were trashed, Renee decided to assign an experienced employee as a mentor to train Marta on using equipment. Marta now bakes cookies using her grandmother’s recipes that are the hottest sales items in the store.

Of course, assigning a mentor was not enough either. Cherie had a mentor but wasn’t making progress in learning how to use kitchen equipment or the cash register. A quick investigation revealed that Cherie was intimated by her mentor and never asked questions. The mentor admitted that she is a perfectionist and isn’t comfortable trying to teach new hires.

This mismatch taught Renee that she needed to more closely monitor the progress of each employee. So every week she meets with each employee to answer questions and to ask for suggestions on improving the business. It’s a huge time commitment for Renee but in the past year, turnover among all employees has dropped dramatically and would-be bakers now beg her to hire them.

What are Renee’s 3 keys to hiring the right employee?

Know what you want and clearly state it in the job description so that you hire the right person for the job.

Have a good “onboarding” process to integrate the new employee into the workforce that includes training the new person on equipment and business processes.

Monitor progress of all employees to match skills to opportunities to increase job satisfaction and the chance of retaining each employee.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.

Another update from the Jungle….Wanda owns a small company and she’s preparing for her next round of job interviews. She hates the interviewing and hiring process. It takes a lot of time away from running her business and the results can be iffy.

The last few batches of job applicants she interviewed left much to be desired. One job applicant said that if he was hired, he would need to take time off to fix a “mix up” about his probation. Another asked if a job offer was contingent on passing a drug test. Another applicant candidly admitted he didn’t want the job but had to perform a job hunt in order to keep his unemployment benefits. After that interview, Wanda tottered home and had an extra-large glass of wine with her dinner.

In the last batch of job applicants the only one showing real promise was a biker dude with prison tattoos. Heshowed up on time, was polite and actually asked relevant questions about the job duties. Even though the biker dude lacked many of the job skills she was seeking, she immediately offered him the job because he seemed willing to learn.

But Wanda knows that she can’t continue such a hit or miss process. She needs to find a better method for hiring new employees.

What are Wanda’s options?

She can reconsider what she’s looking for by ensuring the job description accurately reflects the job duties. It’s difficult to hire the “right” employee with the wrong job description.

She can outsource much of the hiring process which will save her time. Of course, the staffing agency will need an accurate description of the job duties in order to find appropriate applicants for the job.

She can rely more on referrals from friends, family and current employees as they understand her business are more likely to refer suitable candidates for job openings.

If your company is struggling with HR issues, Corporate Compliance Risk Advisor can help you create HR policies that are appropriate for your company’s size and then serve as a resource to your staff as the policies are implemented.