Fans of Sesame Street have long speculated that roomies Bert and Ernie are gay but those rumors have been put to bed. In response to an online petition by Change.org to let Bert and Ernie get married, Sesame Workshop issued the following statement, “Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most Sesame Street Muppets™ do), they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.”

Apparently this statement was brought to you by the letters B & S because Miss Piggy is practically a sexual predator. She’s constantly stalking Kermit the Frog and smothering him in unwanted smooches. And let’s not even delve into the relationship between Gonzo and Camilla the Chicken.

Comedian Jimmy Kimmel got on his high horse to point out Bert and Ernie aren’t fashionable enough to be gay.