First off: “Obama’s Atrocities Prevention Board?” Really? I thought it was going to called the “I Hate Israel” Board, since it’s principle function is going to be preventing Israel from defending itself attacking Iran. I guess the new guy hired to allocate names and acronyms didn’t get the memo. And furthermore, if we were going to assign somebody to handle all of Big Guy’s atrocities, shouldn’t we have thought about staffing this position a whole lot sooner?

Secondly, Samantha Power? Really? Samantha Power!!? It’s not that she isn’t brilliant. Or at least brilliantly well educated (Yale AND Harvard). And it’s not that she isn’t a Pulitzer Prize winner (she is). No, it’s that she hates Israel – you know, our former greatest ally in the Mideast? And she thinks they might well be the perpetrators of said atrocities. Which I guess is why she suggested invading Israel in order to “enforce a peace accord.” Or something. It’s hard to tell with these people for whom words no longer mean anything.

Samantha the Red

You might recall my previously filed report, “Sam I am,” re-posted here in part as it seems somehow relevant again. Also, I’ve invented a brand new twitter hashtag for Sam to help her sniff out Atrocities: #PreventAutrocities. (file under “Know Your Enemies”):

Samantha is Irish, as you probably know. Born in Dublin. Red (headed) as the day is long.

Butt let’s talk other qualifications for taking over the second most powerful position in the world:

Graduate of Yale and Harvard, which is almost as good as Columbia and Harvard, or Princeton and Harvard. So that makes her like, what, the 3rd smartest person on earth?

She began her career as a journalist (200 bonus points), wrote a book about genocide (150 points), is anti-Israel (500 points) worked on Big Guy’s campaign (250 points) where she met and married one of Big Guy’s favorite fellow radicals, Cass Sunstein (250 points),

and currently works as special assistant to Big Guy’s National Security Council and head of the Office of Multilateral Affairs and Human Rights; aka the office of pro-Palestinian/anti-Israeli affairs.

Men’s Vogue (and they would certainly know) called her a "Harvard brainiac who can boast both a Pulitzer Prize and a mean jump shot.” Replace “Pulitzer” with “Nobel” and we’ve got ourselves a female Big Guy! Except with a paper trail.

And I’ve heard many people commenting on how historic it would be if Big Guy does appoint Sam to take Hil’s job, (who may be leaving to spend more time with her campaign): it will mark the first time that both the the President and the Secretary of State are graduates of Harvard Law School, and, neither of them were born in the USA. (although I heard that last part from Donald Trump)

Sam is credited with being one of Big Guy’s Hen Hawks who talked him into intervening in Libya on humanitarian grounds (based on Sam’s book, which basically says that every act of genocide in the 20th century was America’s fault, due to our failure to intervene in a timely fashion). It’s probably a bit too soon to say for sure how that Libyan humanitarian KMA thing is working out. Although technically, it’s no longer our concern. We did what we could.

All I can tell you is that with all that experience under her (boob) belt, she had her heart set on playing Elizabeth Taylor in the upcoming flick “Liz and Dick.” Butt now that it’s been announced that the role has gone to Lindsay Lohan, Lady M is having Ricky’s DOJ investigate this suspicious appointment.

It surely isn’t merit based, as Lady M’s acting skills are far superior to Lindsay Ho-han’s. So it appears to be an open and shut case of racism from where I’m sitting.

And speaking of wearing underwear in public: it’s not as if Lady M hasn’t already channeled Liz Taylor in one of her most famous roles:

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, take 2

And I think we all know how Lady M identifies with that all-American theme of a girl and her horse:

National Velvet: every young girl’s dream

Oh yeah, I forgot: that’s one of those secret trap doors that wasn’t opened for us.

So I’m going to have to go along with Lady M on this one: the only reason she didn’t land the Liz role was racism. That and the fact she doesn’t have violet eyes.

Green, maybe. Violet, never.

So I guess the moral of all this could be summed up thusly:

Always stick with the horse you rode in on. (h/t for the reminder to UpNorthLurkin)