11.06.2008

Although his grandmother has disowned him, and his professional life will no doubt be jeopardized, this man still has the strength, and yes, dignity, to permanently change his name from George Garratt to Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined.

Apparently his name will join the ranks of individuals such as Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii and Rhoshandiatellyneshiaunneveshenk Koyaanisquatsiuth Williams, but with the notable exception of his name being friggin awesome. I mean, who could be faster than the Hulk? This guy, that's who. It's a real shame he's not a child because I bet there are a lot of elementary school teachers who need a little pick-me-up during roll call each morning. Oh well. At least he still gets to look forward to one day meeting a Mrs. Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined...