A TEESSIDE transgender patient has revealed his frustration over NHS waiting times for chest surgery, which will enable him to realise a life-long dream of joining the Army as a man. Nicholas Darroch, 21, was born a little girl called Siobhan but suffers from gender dysphoria, a condition where a person feels they are trapped within a body of the wrong sex. Now on hormone treatment as a major part of his transition to become a man, Nicholas told Sarah Judd he feels like his life is on hold as his transition to his true gender drags on.

AS LITTLE Siobhan Darroch toddled around in pretty pink dresses, she was every inch a princess to her loving dad Alexander, 50.

Now 21, Siobhan is a man named Nicholas, who is desperate for chest surgery to remove his breasts so he can join the British Army as a man.

“My dad calls me crazy, but I want to be with all the other lads and lasses fighting for the country I was born into,” said Nicholas.

Nicholas, who now lives in Grangetown after moving to Teesside with his family at the age of 14, faces a long battle to achieve his dream of becoming a hero.

Despite having 10 top GCSEs, Ayrshire-born Nicholas, who resembles a boy in his late teens with his Celtic strip and beanie hat, has already been through more than most to realise his aspirations.

When he first contacted the British Army, he thought his “life was over” after receiving misleading information on the Army’s transgender policy.

At that time, Nicholas was known as Adrian MacKinnon, but changed his name a second time after escaping what he describes as an “abusive relationship”.

“I wasn’t getting anywhere with my transgender treatment and believed I wasn’t going to have a career at all,” said Nicholas.

“My life was shattered.”

Nicholas received a written apology from the Army and remains undeterred by the experience.

But now, Nicholas, who still hides his breasts with an uncomfortable chest minimiser, despite dropping from a D size bra to an A through exercise, faces a year-long wait for breast surgery before he can join the Army.

He said: “After that it can take months to get back to full fitness, then I’ll need an extensive medical before they could even consider me as fit enough to join the Army.

“It will now be January or February before they even start talking to me about surgery when initially I was expecting it to be December.”

In the meantime, Nicholas has lost hope of finding a job and feels his life is on hold until his transition is complete.

“I’ve been looking for jobs but I’ve been through so much in the last few years, if I get rejected I think it would just floor me,” he said.

Nicholas attempted suicide three times as he struggled to come to terms with his identity in his late teens.

The first attempt was a cry for help for Nicholas, who had never heard of gender dysphoria and “didn’t know what a transsexual was”.

“Where I grew up, that was just a bad name to call someone,” he said. “I didn’t know the name of the problem I had and said ‘I feel as though I’m living the life of someone else’.

“I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, but then they delved deeper into what was going on.”

Nicholas thought he was sure to lose his family after finally telling his parents.

“But over the past few years they’ve started to accept it, especially now my voice is deep and my face and body have started to change. My dad has started to see it’s not a phase. He realises it’s hard for me as well.”

So hard in fact, that Nicholas views himself as “unlucky” and “very unfortunate to have been born deformed”.

He also has a girlfriend called Sara, who he grew up with in Kilbirnie, Ayrshire, before moving to Teesside. The pair would often climb trees, play football and ‘commandos’ with sticks for guns.

But while Nicholas believes Sara was going through a “Tomboy” stage, Nicholas cringed at the word when it was used to describe him.

When he had to join the girls’ football team, Nicholas would stand on the sidelines thinking: “I should be over there with the boys.”

“I was about 11 when I realised, ‘I’m a boy,’ he said. “I began to hate myself. I started taking drugs which I’m ashamed of now.

“But Sara made me feel comfortable because I thought I was a freak.”

During difficult teenage years, Nicholas often starved to prevent himself developing curves like his mum and sister.

He also resorted to contraceptive implants and pills to stop his periods.

Now, with the support of his parents and Sara and the recognition of his gender dysphoria, Nicholas is frustrated at the length of time the transition process is taking.

He has paid more than £1,000 for hormone treatment which began in June, but is now relying on the NHS.

Nicholas, who is in the care of Northumberland Tyne and Wear NHS Trust’s gender clinic in Sunderland, said: “I feel like I’m wasting time when I could be in the Army making myself successful. It hurts me so much and it does make you very bitter.

“I feel as though I’m losing the battle to get my body sorted so I can get on with my life.”

However, Nicholas’ Catholic faith is keeping him strong.

“This is my test,” he said.

“I spoke to a priest about it not long ago and told him my beliefs. He said ‘you’re obviously so strong and I believe this is your test, so pass it’. It made my day having a priest say that to me.”

A spokesman for Northumberland Tyne and Wear NHS Trust said gender transition is a “lengthy process” as everyone needs to be sure this is the right direction for a patient.

He said: “Our gender dysphoria service is one of only seven in the country and while we fully sympathise with Mr MacKinnon’s frustrations, the level of demand for such a highly specialist service means patients often have to wait some time.”

The service was commissioned to treat 30 patients per year, but demand has been 40% greater. The Trust is working with commissioners to see how it can meet the higher demand.

A spokesman for the Ministry of Defence said: “Applications to join the Armed Forces from transsexual people are processed in the same way as any other application. It would be unlawful to reject an applicant on the grounds that he or she was a transsexual person.

“Transsexual people wishing to join the Armed Forces have to fulfil and achieve the same physical and mental entry requirements as any other eligible applicant.”