Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.

Month: June 2014

Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. If you don’t have any problems, you don’t get any seeds. – Norman Vincent Peale

Yesterday I attended a meeting that is the catalyst of what is going to be an amazing transforming time in my life, and many lives in the Kalamazoo area. It is inspiring to see what a little love in a lot of people can accomplish.

I heard a message that stuck with me as I went home and I’m still thinking about today. The message was that “no matter where you are, who you are or what circumstances you are facing in life, you can be a help to others around you”. We are all equipped to help, we have all the necessary components to come along side one another and life them up from the issues they are facing. We have the ability, we simply lack the will to move!

I am capable of being anything, I have what it takes to become what I want in life; I simply lack the will to go after it. Sometimes it’s due to fear of failure, sometimes it’s due to lack of confidence that I can do it and sometimes it’s that I never take the time to begin the process of “moving in action”.

We all want change, change in our homes, change in our government, change in the streets, in our schools, in our families… We all desire change in something in our lives, well what if we are that change? What if we embraced the calling to be the change in our community, to stand up and be the father or mother in our homes, or the calm in the storm of life to those around us?

I want change; it’s time I do something about something! I want our children to see who I am not hear who I tell them I am; I want my wife to feel the husband for what I am, not see “how much I can do for you”. I want my family to know who I am and what I stand for not guess about what I stand for.

We are all equipped to meet the desires in our hearts, we are the answers to the sleepless nights and the longing prayers that we continue to prey over and over and see no actions, we are the actions!

We are the answers to our prayers; all we have to do is move!

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Learning to live life to the fullest and stop the constant “cutting myself short” is becoming more and more apparent as I age. The dreams I had as a child, to have a family, to be successful at what I do and to have a wife have all been accomplished.. thinking to myself “great the race has been won” and sailing off into the future with these achievements couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Now come the REAL challenges! Holding it all together when you feel you have everything you have ever wanted, learning how to interact with a woman you have known most of your life over and over again, guiding your children into their future as they become adults themselves.

I am 33 years old, have been with my wife for 16 years, 2 beautiful girls together 9 and 13 and I have never felt the least bit scared until now. life has a way of sneaking up on you with issues that you never imagined.

I was once told if you keep doing what you’re doing and expect a different results, that’s insanity! Yet I do it on a daily basis, I continue down the same old worn out roads time and time again.

I am putting my faith in God that his word in Jeremiah is true, “I have plans for you, plans not to harm you” (not word for word).

My faith has been tested in the last few years more than ever in my life, how will I show up to that? When life’s storms come, what do you do? Where do you turn? Who do you run to? I am for the first time in my life falling to my knees and saying I cannot do this…

I am not made to hold all the weight of the world on my shoulders! God I am putting my faith in you that you are, and as uncertain as that sounds it’s all I have at this point.

Just Love and when you want to let go, love more. Love has always won in my experiences. Today all I can do is hope that love is enough.

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The world is not only broken, it is also very aggressive, looking to consume anyone not willing to put up a fight. But what are we fighting for, gun rights, freedom, love, oil, faith, land… Does anyone really know what we are even fighting for anymore?

I fight myself; I fight the anxious feelings of being alone that stems from my childhood. Carrying these feelings into my life as an adult, father and husband constantly doing a checks and balance to find and maintain the peace in life.

When the battle is so personal and deep inside that at times it consumes your thoughts and emotions it is hard to even care about the price of gas, who I should vote for or even the big topics we face today.

I simply want a happy home, happy children and love and respect between us all. Knowing we are on our way to becoming just that! I know there will be bad times; I know the days of stormy weather will come. As important as it is to me to have faith at time it seems irrelevant, taking the back seat to the changes our children are facing and the changes we are facing. Maintaining a balance between having faith that everything is ok when my feelings are that everything is falling apart is exhausting and learning that life is not “black and white or 0 or 100” has became a great tool to accomplish day to day functions.

Yet I have seen what faith can do, both in a positive way and in a negative way. I have felt the spirit lead me out of some of the biggest messes “most self created” and I have also seen loved ones give into temptations and get lost along the way.

We all talk about being followers of Jesus in our own ways, as of today I feel like standing here, right where I am and looking at what I have done good and bad, to help and to hinder, to love and to hate. What are we doing brothers and sisters? Ask the questions, seek the answers and don’t stop until you find peace in whatever you are looking for.

I had a dream last night that shook me to my core, I saw my life from the outside, I saw my life as being totally different, different family, different loved ones, and everything was changed. My children didn’t know me, my wife had never met me and I was alone. Something had changed in my path to meeting up with my wife. One of the many seemingly little things at the time like where I chose to eat ice-cream that night or if I went north or south on Westnedge could have changed everything! I see how fragile every action we make is, I see that something as small as that can impact your life in such a huge way. I hope to never see that again. I saw it, I felt it and I remember everything from my dream like it was a part of a life I had lived before we met. In many ways it is and still do not feel good as of right now, a bit in a fog about it all.

I thank God right now for who I am, who I am becoming and who I will become.

Yes, life could be different, yes life could be better, life could also be worse and life can be amazing right where I am today! The choice is simple, love unconditional, live intentional and be honest with yourself and everyone around you about your expectations and what your needs are. Our dreams play out our reality eventually….. and this is one I never want to see again!