Jewish desserts on the other hand, not so much. Gelt are more foil than chocolate. Macaroons taste like they were made with sand. Rugelach, the best of a sorry bunch, are made with fig and apricot in them. Seriously, that's the best we can do? Fig cookies?

So we can't blame super-chunk-super-Jew-ice-creamers Ben & Jerry for stepping out of the milieu to bring us their tasty frozen treats (Cherry Garcia, FTW!). What can we blame them for? How about the lack of Jewish-themed flavors?

Rabbi Raisin Delight doesn't sound half bad. Or what about a frozen yogurt called No-Guilt Gelt? And who wouldn't enjoy a couple of scoops of Chocolate Chanukah Chrunch?

Yeah, not so much. Instead we get cone after cone of semi-cleverly named goyishe flavors. Delicious, delicious goyishe flavors...

Normally this is the point where we would threaten our fellow frozen landsmen with boycott if they don't step up to the plate, er, bowl. But it's all an empty threat. They could make Jesus' Jellybean Journey and we'd still choose it over a box of rugelach.