The volume of my farts has been unreal the last week! Like, I'm pretty sure yesterday once I farted and there was a visible gust of air coming from my butt via my pajama pants.And they're NASTY. Voluminous and nasty, what did I do to deserve this?!

_________________Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumblesIs this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface

i think my poot just scared the cat off the couch. :( sorry, kitty! beans and rice were all i had in the house today!

I have more than once scared my cats off my lap.

I'm farting CONSTANTLY lately. And it doesn't matter what I eat. The other day I had to take a walk down a long hallway at work, and I swear, I farted with every single step. It was un-real.

Daiya farts are the worst, though. When I eat Daiya, my husband won't allow me in the bedroom for 2 days.

_________________Yay, and verily he said unto them, "Eat this nooch for it tastes kind of like cheese, and drink this kombucha for it is awesome. And don't be a vegan hating douche because no one likes an asshat." - DancesWithTofu

My farts smelled so bad last night, that I actually work up from smelling it. In my dream state I thought there was a skunk in the room. Terrible.

_________________I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk

Ok, I have a recent story (confession?) that was just too good not to share. On Memorial Day, my fiance and I were hanging out with some of his friends when he nonchalantly let out one of his trademark loud-but-not-stinky butt blasts. I decided that would be the perfect cover for me to slip out some of my own gas that had been building (I should mention that this was shortly after I had eaten one too many tofu kebabs). Like the vast majority of my farts, it came out without the slightest sound.

Of course, that doesn't mean it was going to go unnoticed. This one was baaaad, even by my super stinky standards. We were all sent running out of the room with shirts over our noses, and naturally, my fiance was getting all the blame. It was beyond hilarious to watch him try to deny responsibility for the smell after he had so obviously and proudly ripped the audible fart. He just didn't have it in his heart to blame it on me - although he made it clear afterwards that if I ever pulled that trick again, he wouldn't be so gracious.

_________________I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk

A few weeks ago my cat farted in my face. I think as a payback for all the horrible farts I've been letting out lately, often while he's napping on me.

_________________Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumblesIs this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface