Category: writing

I knew what to recite today. It was his favourite song. A hymn from my school almanac. Every time I sang it brought a smile and a tiny tear to his eye. Maybe he liked it as much as I did. The high notes of this hymn did agree with me ,without my voice going into a shiver. So we waited , me and my sister for the evening and for him to return from work. A daily competition between me and my sister of who will sing the best tonite. And the judge being my Papa .

We waited for him to change and settle. For him to finish his dinner with the daily dose of his news at 9 took 30 minutes.

We never recited together. Our voices never matched and still don’t . She wanted to go first and I would always let her. Thinking the last song I sang would garner more praises and would have a good recall value. Or so I thought !

She sang, she was good today and It was my turn now.

I sang with all my heart, I sang to take his tiredness away so his day would end on a sweet happy note. I sang with reverence in my heart for the one who was out for 12 hours a day. Never took a day off . He who had 3 shirts and 6 days of work. He who never shouted on us a single day. He who had no demands . He who was and is still a pillar of strenght. He must smile throughout my song today and a tiny tear in his eye would mean he is touched, and that would be my medal for tonite.

The song ended. He called us both to hug us and pat us on our back. We were hoping for his verdict on who was the best amongst us. But like each day he said“ How lovely you two sing , Very good, very beautiful songs, thank you for singing for me.”

We both wanted to know who was the best singer from papa but he never said , never compared. As we both lay in bed she said “ I think I was better today” and I argued “ No, I was”. As I closed my eyes I thought which song would I recite tomorrow for my dad to be the best. But the verdict till date remains the same and He still is the best dad.

It’s 6 am as the alarm goes off and I struggling to get 5 more minutes of my time on the bed. Snooze it man! It’s now 6:15 and I hear my husband cajoling my kids to get up. It’s a signal for me too to get out of bed before he roars on all 3 of us.Me finally out of the bed and into the kitchen now feel a bit of stiffness around my waist, a bit twisting and turning helps and I begin the process of making 4 tiffins for the day. Each day a new struggle what to cook and then to convince them to please finish their tiffins or else….!

So while I am at it my hubby has already ushered them into the bathroom for their morning ablutions and rushes back in the kitchen for a quick hug. Boys are now at the table and me trying to recollect what went into the sandwiches yesterday as my boys don’t like a repeat in their tiffins. Gaurav my hubby serves them each a banana and 7 almonds to munch and comes back to the kitchen again,no not for a second hug but to warm their milk. “I need the microwave so hurry up with the milk please”, I sprout. Today they want cheese on toast which needs me to pre heat the oven. The milk is done but the boys still focusing too hard on the banana. My hubby’s ‘Late ho Jayega, c’mon fast be fast’ is still making no difference to their speed. I serve the boys some butter toast to go with the milk and the younger one declares its potty time for him. So while I am laying the breads in the oven Gaurav takes him to the loo. Now since my younger brat wants someone always around as he sits on that throne, his father uses this time to re-iron and straighten the folding lines from their school uniform while listening to the younger one yank about what this boy did to him and what that teacher told him and why and how he lost his pencil yesterday yet again. Meanwhile the elder one who has finished his breakfast declares that he wants to use the bathroom. FYI, we have 3 bathroom but my boys are in love with this one alone coz the other 2 has imaginary spiders in them which are always visible to them but always invisible to me.

A war like situation near the bathroom, my 2 tiffins are done yet 2 more to go . It’s 6:50 and the younger one still has to finish his food.He is brought back to the table by his papa and he is non stop chattering about this girl who troubles him in the bus.Morning is the only time he remembers the past future and present and wants all his answers too. My husband now sits down with him to help him finish his toast while checking his office mails in between replying him with a wow yes and no . The elder one my accha bachcha is almost ready and so is their second tiffin . Today they have pasta for lunch in white sauce as requested by them last night. What an accomplishment , but the water bottle still needs to be filled and I call out for my assistant to help and my knight in shining armour appears back in the kitchen to have them filled as I pack up their lunch boxes into their bags. It’s 7:10 I rush in my room to change my clothes as it’s time to drop the boys. As I comb my hair to look civilised I see my husband struggling to get my younger one wear his shoes while the elder one is out of the house and threatens to leave as the lift arrives and the little one hopping on one legs shouts ‘Bhiya wait na’.. We are finally at the bus stop and I exchange my greetings with the moms around while reminding my boys that I want their tiffin boxes empty. As the school bus rolls in and I kiss them goodbye I say a short prayer as they alight to keep them safe while they are away.

Back home and its time I always look forward to for my morning cup of chai (tea) with my husband just the way he makes it ekdum kadak masala chai. This tea just makes my day as we to sit down with the newspaper and the hot cuppa and our usual chit chat.

So this is like what happens every morning. Things go a little berserk when he is travelling. I have to do everything on my own. Not that I can’t but he has certainly spoilt me in these 16 years. And NO, I haven’t trained him at all , he has been like this since I have known him. Once I even told my MIL this “ If your man treats you like a princess its a proof that he has been born and raised in the arms of a queen”. She was so delighted and happy to hear this.

I am blessed to have a companion in him who helps me day in day out. Gives me my freedom. Supports me and guides me as a mentor. He is all practical and I am emotional and so I rely on his advice and decisions many times. He is the best dad my boys could have, one who reads them stories at night, attends all the PTM’s with me , takes them for their games and classes over the weekends , shops with them while keeping a tab on their academics as well.A hands-on-dad for sure. Touchwood.

I am secretly hoping that my boys too will turn out like their father when they grow up. But just hoping won’t help here . How do I make them responsible and humane ? I am sure there is an indirect learning as they see their Papa take on house work with so much ease each day. Very often my elder one pitches in to help. On other days I call out to him for small chores he can manage. Some simple ones like –

Help me prepare the table for dinner

Help me clear the table post dinner

Folding his comforters as he step out from his bed

Using the wiper to clean and dry the bathroom after his bath

Fill the empty bottles for the fridge in summers

Water the plants

Help me in the simple task of the kitchen at times

Clean his study table and organise his drawers.

Keep his shoes back in the shoe rack. Et al…

Some simple rules. Small steps – one at a time. Won’t be long before I create thorough gentlemen out of my boys. It is very important they understand and realise that it’s not a women job alone to run the house.

So, Don’t hesitate to delegate and ask for help whether you have a girl child or a even a boy.

I have two boys. The elder one is almost touching 14 and the younger one is rolling towards being an 8. Of course motherhood has changed me completely and it has been an overwhelming experience till now . I have been a hands-on mom from the day they were born.With no help around, I juggled my postpartum, diaper saga, baby food, vomits their massages & baths and every milestone alone. I believe that I have evolved and grown beautifully as a Mom and as human being more so after becoming a Mother.

All was well and I thought I was doing pretty well as a mom as I continued to nurture them in my own sweet ways, till about recently when my teenaged son threw a few bombs at me. This happened – one fine day while I was serving him lunch, he asked me nonchalantly “Why can’t you be and behave like the other moms ?” Me under the shock of his statement had no clue what he meant, as till now I felt I was good at my craft and was doing well, but suddenly I felt like a failure !

So I sat down next to him focusing not to lose my cool and asked him to elaborate so I could decipher the hidden meaning of his statement. He rattled off like a road runner as if he has been waiting to ask / tell me all this.

He started by saying “I don’t thing other moms behave or do stuff like you do mom” !and I was like Okaaaay ! NO ? Really ? LIKE WHAT ?? And then came out a long list of the things which me as a mom should not be doing at all.

Not -to -do -list as per my elder son !

Why can’t you stop giving us these weird lovey dovey names which make no sense and just call us with our real names instead?

Why do you also need to have fun with the bubble wrap that we lay hands on ?

Why do you keep dancing around the house with your iPod and don’t care about what if someone is watching you?

Why do you steal our chocolates and candies ?

Why do you pounce on us in bed and cuddle and tickle us whenever you fancy?

Why do you sing for us loudly using all those weird names ?

Why do you have to be so friendly with my friends when you meet them? That’s why I don’t get my friends home often.

Why do you call my name and wave good bye and throw flying kisses as I board the school bus?

Why do you come to the bus stop at all? I am big boy and don’t need an escort.

Why do u keep putting ghee in my Rajma-Chawal,Dal-Chawal ? Though it tastes yummy but I don’t want to turn fat like you ! Ouch ..

Why do u make funny faces and make me laugh while my tuition class is on?

Why do you keep checking my phone?

Why do you pretend you know nothing and ask me help you to download something for you when I know you know it all ?

Why can’t you be serious like other moms?

Why are you fat and short and not slim like the other Moms around. I am embarrassed to get my friends home. Double Ouch! That did hurt.

Hmm time to ponder . My boy wants me to change me and my ways of showing love. I gave him a tight hug and said that I am going to seriously think on these points . Contended he went back to his room and left me reeling under the thunderous effect of his TED Talk ! He doesn’t like me doing all this ? Really ? I am fat ? so fat that he is now embarrassed ? ?

And So, it was time for some real thinking and a glass of chilled wine .

The wine did good to my serotonin and I understood his point of view. He was growing and having his own tussle of being called my baby and a young boy now… Of course he doesn’t appreciate my PDA (Public Display of Affection) anymore ..He doesn’t like me pulling his cheeks anymore .. How I wish I could tell him to soak in this love of mine for a little more time before he leaves my abode in pursuit of higher education and knowledge to far away lands.. Sigh ! We never know what destiny holds for us. So why don’t we stop rushing and slow down and live each day to its fullest today. Any which ways one day he will have to move away from me for the sake of learning or earning. Wish I could change/edit the list on his mind and excuse myself.

So do you think I should abide by all his rules and surrender and change my ways …?

Nah ! I don’t think so.. So I sat down to explain a few things to him. The name tags given to you originate from the deepest love and affection I have for you..Your chocolate that I share is because i want to prepare you to pay Income Tax in the future. The extra ghee in your food is so that you grow healthy and strong. I check your phone as I need to know what are you upto. I make funny faces to cheer you up during your tiring and sometimes boring tuition classes and it sure does bring a smile to your face. I wish to make your friends feel at home and so the little chat with them is important at times.The goodbyes will keep happening till you make it a point to say a polite bye on your own as you board the bus. So basically things are going to be stay pretty much the same but one thing that is going to change in that list is your concern on the way your mom looks. Though I know what a lazy procrastinator I can be when it comes to working out but I understood your outlook on this and I promise to be a fitter-slimmer mom for you so that you don’t feel embarrassed any more.

But till that time let’s make more wonderful memories for you. Let me keep sharing more stories with you about my childhood and growing up years and my amazing episodes of success & failure and tales of my childhood masti and legend adventures. These things which I do is to only make you smile and I hope you will fondly remember all my silly tactics that made you smile as you were growing up. Please remember how cool and chilled out your mom was . My only endeavour now is to be a friend to you that just being a mom so you could confide in me anytime.

I think he understood that cause that night as I was tucking him in bed with his favourite comforter he asked me to sit beside him and share one more incident from my childhood and he also did let me stroke his hair that night. And as I watched him slip into a sweet slumber I smiled at his innocence and love for me . And tomorrow it’s time to keep up the promise and hit the gym with a vengeance.