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~~~ EXCERPT REVEAL~~~ Stoned by Mandi Beck

Head swimming, hands clammy, and
with cold sweat trickling down my spine, I stand on the stage with the lights
beaming down on me, hotter than the fucking sun. With the music humming through
my body, I let the deafening roar of the crowd wash over me like a balm to my
toxic soul. I would kill for a fucking line of blow right now.

This should be more important than
any high. Then again, so should she. I
shake my head to rid myself of that shit and the world of hurt that goes along
with it. There’s no time to waste on things I can’t change, not on this stage
anyway.

I smile at them, raise my arms, and
motion with my hands for them to give me more, and they do. I feed off their
energy; the stadium is alive with it and I need it to breathe life back into
me. Not that I fucking deserve it.

Reaching for my mic stand, I bring it to my
mouth and give them my “rock star” smirk. The one that says I’m the guy your mama warned you about and
the one that your daddy has dreaded since the day you were born.

“Hello New York!” I yell into the
mic, making them go even crazier. “Are you guys ready to rock?” Behind the
drums, I give Lawson the cue to start the countdown and the show begins despite
the fact that my heart isn’t really in it tonight. She isn’t waiting in the wings for me.

Two hours later we head off stage
toward the dressing rooms and the after parties that I love a little too much.
Wiping the sweat from my face, I almost miss her standing there with her back
against the wall, that sad damn look on her face that I put there. Willow was
here. I was crazy to think she wouldn’t be. With new- found confidence I watch
as she gives the guys a wave as they greet her. Knowing that something isn’t
right with us, the boys are smart enough not to linger.

“Willow.” Her name leaves my mouth
on a strained breath. I was sure that I would have to hunt her down and beg for
forgiveness after the shit I said to her. The accusations I hurled all while
tears streamed down her face. Shit I can barely remember because I was so
fucking high. Words that I thought I’d said in a dream, only when I woke up to
find her gone, I knew it wasn’t a dream. More like a goddamn nightmare, and I was
living it.

“I need to get my things out of the
hotel room, and I don’t have my key. My name isn’t on the reservation so they
won’t give me one at the front desk. I wasn’t sure if you were planning to
leave right after the show or not, so…” She trails off. “I won’t take long, and
I’ll leave it at the front desk for you, for when you get back.”

All of this is said in a cold,
detached ramble that I’m not used to hearing from my Wills. Her face looks
drawn, her eyes red-rimmed. I broke her and that kills me. We’ve been together
for years, and in one night, I threw it all away. And for what? I can’t even
remember right now. No, that’s not true. It wasn’t just one night. I’ve been
throwing her away every damn night for months. Chasing that high, letting the paranoia
seep in where it didn’t belong.

“I just need to grab my stuff and
then I have a flight to catch.” She’s so…empty. Void and despondent. It stabs
at my insides. Bile churning with the knowledge that I snuffed out her light.

“You—you’re leaving Wills?” The pain
I feel at that rocks me.

Shaking her head at me, I see the
tears glistening in her hollowed out eyes.

“Don’t. Don’t call me that! The only
reason that I’m even still here is because my purse is in the room with my
phone and ID in it. Otherwise, I would be home by now.” There’s an underlying
thread of hysteria and damning heard in her words.

It hits me then just how big of a
bastard I really am. I hurt her, forced her to walk out on me last night, all
because of my insecurities, my need to occupy that place of numbness, my heaven
and her hell. And now she tells me that she had no phone, no money, no clothes.
Nothing.

“Where did you stay last night,
Wills? Where did you go without your purse?”

She flinches mildly and then shuts
down again. “Don’t worry about it, Stone. I’m not your concern anymore. You
don’t have to take care of my ‘needy ass.’ I can take care of myself.”

I can see the anger flaring, red
creeping across her beautiful face, but I can also see her lip quivering as she
recounts the hurtful things I said to her last night. Words meant to hurt but
that were in no way true. I was a dick, I screwed up, and I know in my heart
she won’t give me a chance to make it right. I pushed her too far for too long,
and now she’s done.

“Willow, I didn’t mean that. I
didn’t mean any of it. I was drunk and stupid. Please, baby, let’s talk about
it. As soon as the tour is over we can go away just you and me.” There’s
desperation in my voice, fear lacing my words. I can’t lose her. I’m not me
without her.

“I’m finished talking. I am sick of
being accused of things I would never do. I am over walking on eggshells with
you, afraid to upset you. Worrying that I’ll end up alone in our room again, in
another strange city that I followed you to, wondering where you are and who
you’re with and what you’re doing. Hoping this high won’t be the one that you
take too far. I’m done with all of it. I love you and I have stood by you,
putting up with all of it because I wanted to support you. To be there for you
because I know that you are under a lot of pressure, but now I’m done. I’m
going home. I see now that I never should have left.”

This is all said with such finality
that I feel panic bubbling up inside me. I open my mouth to beg her to stay and
talk when a trashy-looking blonde walks up and slides her hand up my arm.

“Stone, I thought you were going to
call me,” she whines as she strokes her fingers back and forth over the tattoo
on my arm, the willow tree that I got as a surprise for my girl long ago. I
snatch my arm away from the blonde and look up at Wills, my eyes wild.

“Baby, it’s not what you think. I
swear to you, Wills, it isn’t.” I have no clue if that’s the truth.

“Save it, Stone. I heard you loud
and clear last night. You’re not made for one woman. I was stupid to think that
you were. Can you please just give me the key so I don’t miss my flight?” Her
voice is laced with the anger and pain that she’s feeling, that we’re both
feeling.

“Will—”

“Please!” she cries out, stomping
her foot. I’ve never seen her this way. So emotional yet detached at the same
time.

The blonde still standing there,
watching it all.

I shake my head, imploring her with
my eyes, since my words don’t mean anything right now, begging for her to not
do this. Taking in a painful breath, I pull out my wallet and take out the room
key.

Handing it over to her, I try one
more time.

“Willow, please don’t leave. Not
like this,” I plead with her.

She takes the key card from me with
a trembling hand, careful not to touch me when she does.

“I’ll be out of the house by the
time you get back into town. I’ll leave my keys over at the studio with Addy,”
she says, looking right through me.

She flicks a glance over at the girl
who still hasn’t moved and then back to me.

“You got what you wanted, Stone.
You’re single and free to do whatever and whoever you want without having to
worry about sneaking around. Don’t keep her waiting — she looks like a sure
thing.”

With that little parting remark, I
watch the woman of my dreams walk away and out of my life. There isn’t enough
music in the world that could make the pain of losing her go away. This isn’t
where our song ends; I won’t let it. Only I’m not sure I have much of a choice.
And just like that, my heart stops beating in rhythm.

Come get Wrecked with Stone and Willow in this second
chance Rock Star Romance releasing on July 13th!

As the lead singer of one of the hottest
bands to hit the rock scene, fucks are free, drugs come easy, and music is
life.

For as long as Stone can remember, Willow
has been his music – the notes that weave his soul together.

His rhythm.

Until he threw her away.

All he has left is a handful of pills and
a few lines of powder to make him forget her.

And he tries, over and over.

Clean and ready to make things right,
he’s faced with the fact that Willow’s moved on. She’s not the same girl he
cast aside. Willow’s a woman sure about her purpose in life. Sure about who
she’s meant to love.

Stone may be lost without his rhythm, but
Willow has found so much more.

Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. And all that fucking shit. I had killed. I had sacrificed. The innocent and the corrupt. I knew blood and I knew
violence. Never imagining I could know love too. Mia Ryder was a woman to love. To cherish. To fucking claim.
Now, forever, and every day in between. If there was anyone I’d go to Hell and back for, it was her.
Even if meant, going to war with… My fucking brother.

“Don’t fuck with me, Noah. I gotta enough fuckin’ bullshit
to deal with. Don’t need your shit, too.” “Tell me, Creed… she’s yours right?” he questioned,
narrowing his eyes at me. “Then what’s her favorite color?” I jerked back like he had hit me. Knowing exactly where he
was going with this. “Time’s up. It’s pink. How about her middle name? Don’t
remember?” he mocked, cocking his head to the side. “They wanted to name her
Savannah after h…

BlurbYou’ve heard the rumors. Yes, they’re all true. The women…the bank account…the really big… Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m just saying, there’s a reason some
call me Mr. Big. But none of it will matter to her. I’ve known her since we
were kids. And she’s just as off limits now as she was then. She’s my best friend’s little sister and when he asked me to give her the
grand tour, he did not mean of my bedroom. So Mr. Big has to stay under wraps… One problem, she’s the only woman
I’ve ever truly loved. But with the secret I’m keeping, she’ll never love me
back.

Cover Design by Cassy Roop at Pink Ink DesignsPhotography by Wander Aguiar PhotographyModels: Jamie Walker and Tiffany MarieBlurb Cooper Cruz knows what it means to be
surrounded and bound by family. Loyalty, brotherhood, and protection are all
learned, earned, and respected by him and the Ravage Motorcycle Club family he
grew up in. At the same, he’s a man, having fun and living the life he has
always envisioned, until a trip to Florida changes everything. Bristyl Daniels knows what it means to be
smothered and bound by family. Bonds run deep with her father and all the
members of the Sinister Sons Motorcycle Club she has grown up in. But now she’s
all woman and wishes the…