Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Well I've got a blog. A forum to talk about whatever I want but this wasn't ever a topic I intended on. And I'm addressing it because I have an opportunity (although it be through unfortunate circumstances) to increase awareness.

I was groped at Target by a strange man.

I was by myself (no kids with me), down the greeting card aisle, looking through cards. No one else was in the aisle. Out of nowhere, a hand full on grabs my butt. My immediate thought was that it was any one of my friends trying to be funny, and I probably would have thought it was funny too. I've been working on my glutes, it's come up in conversation, so it's kind of a joke.

I turn around, expecting to see a familiar face, and instead I see a middle-aged man turning the corner.

And all of a sudden I felt disgusted and horrified and angry. I actually yelled at him, "excuse me?!"
He disappeared and kind of in a daze, I make it to the checkout and find the first Target employee I can and tell her what just happened. I explain what the guy looked like- dark hair and beard, wearing all red. I saw enough of the back of him to identify him, and she called up the manager.

I was really shaken up, and explained it all to him, and then actually saw the bearded man from a distance and pointed him out. He was by himself, no shopping cart, just perusing the freaking store. Who knows if or how long he had followed me around.

Target took down my info and said they'd notify the police department.

As soon as I got in my car, I just started crying. K you guys- it's just a butt grab.. it's really not a big deal, and I've told myself that, but here's the reality: it is a sickening feeling that some stranger was watching you and thought it was okay to violate you. It's not okay, it's disconcerting and it's wrong.

I had barely been home 5 minutes when Target called me back and had the police there. They wanted me to come back to the store to get my statement, and they had the bearded man in custody. He denied it, of course, but later admitted that he had indeed had contact with me, but had maybe brushed me on accident. Nice try.

I couldn't leave my kids, so the cop came to my house instead and I wrote everything up. He gave me the option of whether to press charges. I'm a forgiving person, and I wanted to downplay this whole thing, but the officer said if it were him, he'd press charges but not to be persuaded by his opinion. So I pressed charges. The bearded man in red was booked into jail. The officer said originally he thought it'd be a misdemeanor but after hearing my story, he's being charged with sexual battery, which is a step down from a felony.

The perpetrator does not live close to here, so the officer assured me that he wouldn't know where I live or anything. He does not have any past history of sexual assault but his sister said he might have some mental health issues. Awesome.

Well, here's a few things I've learned from this:
Thank you Target for acting appropriately and taking this seriously, and not downplaying what some random girl is claiming happened. Loss prevention is going to be looking through video footage for further evidence of him being in my aisle, but my statement is what they go by regardless. I am grateful they believed me.

American Fork PD were really quick and also took this seriously. I had no idea grabbing someone's butt would lead to jail time.

I am okay- disturbed a bit, more than I feel like I should be. This isn't life altering, but I guess you don't really realize how it feels to be violated until it happens to you, and I'm lucky that it wasn't worse. And while it was just a stupid butt grab, I couldn't help but think what else he's done or what he's capable of. Does he hang out in the Target parking lot at night, preying on all sorts of women?? What could he do in the future, especially with signs of mental illness?

I've told a few friends (well, now all of facebook haha) what happened, and some have said they didn't know how they'd react in that situation- that they probably wouldn't even report a perpetrator like that. They wouldn't know what to do.

You guys- you women- You have to report those kinds of things that make you uncomfortable or violated. Teach your children what's okay and what's not, and to tell people if something happens. Unwanted touch is sexual harassment. There's so many worse things that happen to people that goes unreported because of shame or embarrassment or lack of support from those close to them.

And just because someone has a nice butt- or boobs- or whatever.. keep your freaking hands off! We'll put you in jail where you belong.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

I am engaged in a hobby/sport/passion.. whatever you call it, in which your body is pushed to its limits. Intense exercise is hard, strict dieting is hard, and your body might just fight it. Your brain fights it. But I feel like with proper knowledge and coaching, it can be done safely and in a way that maximizes the benefits while keeping your body healthy, and mind sane. That's pretty much what I'm doing, for the next 5 weeks which is a challenge but also very exciting. I'm looking forward to seeing my body change and lean out and take the shape it needs to for Nationals! I'm ready.

And will be comin out with an even better physique ;)

I hear really crazy stories in the fitness industry of way too low-calorie diets and crazy amounts of cardio, all for a sprint to the finish line- the competition- and then the sad aftermath. But I've already addressed that.

I guess what still irks me with current fitness trends is the idea and encouragement that PAIN=GAIN.
Maybe you've seen, heard, or been motivated by the following quotes:

First off, let it be known that I'm not messing around when I'm at the gym. I'm not there to socialize, and half the time I don't even have headphones in because they get in the way. I'm focused on my lifts and I push it hard. I've at times felt a little lightheaded, or feel discomfort- maybe even pain when I'm lifting heavy. That's often an indicator that you're working intensely.

But the idea (originated from Jillian Michaels) that you need to keep going until you are puking, passed out or dead is disconcerting to me. What exactly are you training for that requires you to be on the verge of a blackout? Does the fact that you vomited mean you're a badass? I've never passed out or thrown up during a workout session, I must be going at it way too easy...

I like to think that I get results by normal but intense workouts. And if I were to feel pain, that means I should stop, and stretch, or rest and get a drink... not "keep going til you're done."What happened to common sense?

I know certain training programs that are super popular, and I've done them and they're great. It motivates people and gets them to the gym, and I am all about encouraging new ways to train and having support groups to cheer you on. Maybe it's the old-fashioned bodybuilder-type mentality that I have, but proper form and execution will always trump time in my opinion. Yes these programs will get you in great shape- it's been proven. But injuries due to speed and improper form are not totally uncommon. There are immense benefits of doing similar exercises slowly, and with a mind-muscle connection which hones in on specific muscle groups. Just offering my alternate opinion. (I still love you CrossFitters!)

Moving on..
Sometimes I notice friends or clients or relatives who get up at 5 every morning to work out. Now, I don't do that. I'm not really a morning person, and only recently have I been prescribed fasted cardio in the mornings, so I get to the gym by 6:30 and that's a struggle. The thought sometimes crosses my mind, "wow, so-and-so must really be intense and committed. She's up at the crack of dawn to get her workout in. I'm not that cool ."
I think it's so awesome that people create the time slot to get their workouts in before they head to work, or before their kids wake up. Sometimes that's just what you gotta do! I'm lucky in that I don't need to, but it doesn't make me any less committed. I just have to manage my time differently.

BUT I do want to emphasize:
If you are sacrificing proper sleep in order to go get your workout in, that can really backfire. Adequate sleep helps your brain and body rejuvenate and helps regulate healthy body composition.
When your body is sleep deprived, it messes with two appetite-regulating hormones: leptin and ghrelin. To summarize, you will feel abnormally hungry and crave sugary and high-carb foods and are more likely to sabatoge your diet. Get 8+ hours!!!

I saw someone post on Facebook last year that they had gotten up at 4 am Thanksgiving morning to do a 4-hour workout. Are you planning on eating the entire turkey yourself?!! Unless you're training for a freaking Ironman, I don't see any reason for 4 hours of exercise, ever. I don't idolize people like that, I honestly just think they're crazy. Besides, it's Thanksgiving, one day of enjoying food is not going to kill you.

Bottom line, I think training should be fun, it should be challenging, but it should be conducted with common sense. Don't train when you're sick, take rest days. Get enough sleep. And don't compare with others. I'm a person that rarely sweats when I workout. Am I not working out hard enough or am I just so fit that I don't sweat anymore? lol.. Neither. But my methods are working ;)

I feel a little "fluffy" because I'm not super lean right now. But I've been hitting shoulders and glutes pretty hard these past few weeks. Operation lean-out commences NOW!