Posts Tagged ‘graduation’

About a year ago, I finally painted a long-bare canvas. I inscribed on it a poem I’d written. This art piece was in memory of our heaven-dwelling babies. I’ve had this canvas in my office at school all year. It’s precariously balanced on an electrical outlet, waiting to be more securely attached to the wall.

Today, that canvas fell, not for the first time, but this time, it met the corner of my desk, resulting in a gash. I was meeting with a student at the time. At first I was bewildered, then angry, then deaf to all that Beka was saying. And then I started crying. I don’t think poor Beka quite knew what to do. I wanted to show my broken canvas to Mari Ellen—she’d appreciated this piece of memorial lament—but she wasn’t there to sorrow with me.

That canvas is the most personally significant memorial I have of my kids. Seeing it abruptly torn, jerked to the surface my hibernating sorrow. For the rest of the day, I was exhausted and slow-moving. It’s funny how such a small thing can summon the heavy, familiar weight of grief. I didn’t expect this small incident to cause such a strong reaction.

Tomorrow, I’ll be participating in the Senior Transition Seminar. It’s a time for Seniors to process saying goodbye to BFA and transitioning to college life. I’ll be talking to the girls about relationships in college. Tonight, while thinking over what to say, my thoughts turned to all of the girls who I’ll be interacting with.

I like these 30 girls. A lot.

I have one month left with them. One more month to enjoy their smiles. One more month to hear their thoughts. One more month to laugh until I cry at their quirky humor. One more month to hug them. One more month share their lives while I can touch and see and smell and hold them. And then they’ll be gone. Off to places all across the world. I may never see them again. And that makes me so very sad. I don’t want BFA sans them.

I was thinking, just before writing this post, about that torn canvas and how sad it made me, how it affected my day. And I rather surprised myself by saying, “Thank you God that I’m sad about that canvas.” I had to consider why I was thankful.

Thank you, God, that I loved, and love, my children. Thank you, God, that I remember them through art. Thank you that these things are meaningful to me because these people are meaningful to me. Thank you that my life is filled with people I love. Thank you, God, that I care about these senior girls, who will soon be moving on to bigger and better things. Thank you that I will miss them. Thank you, God, that my hurt comes from deep love. Thank you for filling my life with things so good, people so good, that I miss them when they’re gone.

In two days, 60-something seniors will graduate from Black Forest Academy. This is a big deal. It’s a big deal because it’s a milestone they’ve been working towards for 12-plus years, but it’s also a big deal because graduation will usher in what will probably be the biggest change of their lives.

Senior Transition Day

In April, I had the privilege of participating in Senior Transition Day. It was a day meant to help prepare them for transitioning to their passport countries. The day covered topics like building community, what it’s like to go to college as a Third Culture Kid, how to say goodbye to BFA, and how to say hello to America. The Seniors even received practical information about opening a bank account, what documents they need to take, and what to consider when getting a phone plan. I spoke on a panel just for the girls. We talked about managing your time and money, The Freshman 15, drinking, dating, boundaries, sex, extracurriculars and more. I was very excited to participate and greatly enjoyed my time with the girls. I hope the Seniors learned from this day; I certainly did. I walked away from Senior Transition Day with a greater appreciation for the immensity of the change these kids are about to encounter.

College is a big transition for everyone. For most people it means moving away from home, being on your own for the first time, learning to manage your money, your time, your weight, and a whole slew of other things. But BFA kids aren’t your average American teens. These are kids who’ve spent more of their time speaking French than English, who grew up using the British Pound instead of the America Dollar, who know their shoe size as 41 rather than 9. The majority of the BFA Seniors have no bank account, no driver’s license and no idea how to pay their bills. For most Third Culture Kids, college is a HUGE transition.

Simple Question, Difficult Answer

For example, one of the questions I got asked most often during my first few weeks of college was, “Where are you from?” With BFA kids, I make a point not to ask this question. When I do, I get blank stares and then a slew of questions. “Do you mean in America? Where I’ve lived the longest? Where I live now? Where my parents are from?” Instead, I ask, “Where is your family now?” Can you imagine how challenging this seemingly simple question will be when they encounter it 500 times during their first week of college? Should they even try to explain?

Some TCKs have spent no more than a few months at a time in their passport country. They may speak the language, be an American (or Canadian, or Korean, or Australian) citizen, and look the part, but inside, they don’t feel American. They feel Turkish, or Italian, or probably a combination of all three. Finding out who you are is a difficult task for anyone, but for TCKs, there are whole other arenas of identity to figure out.

These students have rich, diverse, and distinctive histories, backgrounds and experiences. These aren’t your average American kids (I recently heard one student list off the seven languages that he speaks), they’re going to face more challenges than the average college freshman. But underneath all of the challenges are the same basic questions: Who am I? Where do I fit? What is my purpose?

Pray for Seniors

Could you pray for these seniors as they embark on the journey of adulthood?

Pray for courage. Pray for grace. Pray for patience.

Pray that they will be willing to ask for help, would be gracious with their fellow countrymen who might not understand, and would run to Jesus in their distress. Pray that they would know the nearness of God in the midst of what might seem like a vast loneliness. Pray that they would learn that He is their identity; He is their home.

Yes, I know. Christmas was five weeks ago. Today is February. It’s a little late to be posting about the holidays, but at least we’re not posting this in May. So, here’s a little summary of our holiday travels.

On Friday, December 18th, we got up bright and early and headed to my sister’s apartment in Denton, TX. We got in shortly after lunch and met Jude, the epileptic Schnoodle. Jude was a pillow of curly goodness, who happened to twitch occasionally. Israel and I have realized that we’re not really dog people. We don’t like the drooling and shedding and stinking and poop picking-up. But Jude doesn’t stink, doesn’t shed, and doesn’t officially drool (although he does have a beard). Unfortunately, as all living creatures do, he poops. Anyway, we liked him. If we ever get a dog, I think it might need to be a schnoodle.

So, after meeting Jude, we headed to the University of North Texas to watch my younger sister, Amy, become officially Smart. She’s always been smart, but now she can make sure everyone knows how smart she is by telling them that she has a Masters Degree in Library Science. This not only lets them know that she’s smart, but also incredibly nerdy. I’m quite sure that she and her husband Luke will have the smartest children in my family. Israel and I will have the best looking. Just kidding. Although I do think Israel was the cutest little boy I’ve ever seen. Don’t you agree? I mean really, what little boy stands with his hand in his pocket like that? He’s the older one in the second photo.

So anyway, after the graduation festivities, we hung out at Amy and Luke’s house for several days. We mostly tested out a few new board games: Munchkin Fu (okay), Munchkin Quest (the worst game ever, unless you ask a boy), and Dominion (from the title, you would think I’d hate this game, but no, it’s great). After days of playing games and teaching Jude new tricks, we headed to Telephone to see my family.

My mom had the family over for the first Christmas in her own home in over 10 years. We had a lovely table setting and ate Mexican food, because Christmas food is boring. My mom is also a master present wrapper. Not only does she make presents beautiful, but she makes them fun. When we were little, she’d wrap small presents in HUGE boxes and put rocks, or cans of food, or beans (dried, of course) in with the gift. That way, we’d have no idea what was actually in the gift when we shook it around and felt the edges and tried to peek under the paper. This year, Mom wrapped 20 gifts. 20. For four people. Who don’t really expect presents anymore. So, we each got to open five gifts. They each had a $20 bill stashed somewhere inside. So, $100 each! Woo hoo! After this Christmas, Israel has a better understanding of why it’s vitally important to me that gifts be pretty.

An amazing thing happened while we were in Telephone—Jude got groomed. But he didn’t just get groomed, he got shaved. All the way down. Until he looked like a plush little lamb. And that same day, he got a shot at the vet. And he got nicked while being groomed, nicked in a very uncomfortable place. Let me tell you, a shot, plus a shaving, plus a seriously painful injury that prevents one from sitting down, equals one insane schnoodle. Jude ran around like a dog on speed for about two hours. He was flipping and running in tiny circles and jumping all over things. And then he crashed. And his little head drooped all the way to the floor because he was so exhausted. Please enjoy these lovely before and after photos of Jude.

So, after Christmas, we headed to the Jernigan home where we basically played games the whole time (our favorite thing). By the way, the Jernigans have graciously taken on The Best Cat Ever, Felin. And let me tell you, after one month there, she is a different cat. I blame it on Cricket, the rat-dog. Shortly after Felin arrived, Cricket did too. And they do not get along. Poor Felin.

Cricket – The Instigator

Felin – The Victim

Look at that poor cat. Alas.

Moving on, after Muskogee we drove 12 hours to Colorado through the wasteland that is Kansas. Kansas is normally not the most exciting place to drive through, but on both the way there and back, Kansas was shrouded in fog. Cold, freezing, fog. It was like we were in a bubble of grey. The land was gray, the sky was gray and the mist-walls were gray. Kansas in December, the perfect setting for horror films. Anyway, we arrived at my Dad’s house in Colorado, after I nearly slid our car backwards off the driveway, which happens to be a cliff. We spent four lovely days there. My Dad’s house is awesome. It’s in this lovely little canyon with red-rock formations and mountains. The whole back wall of their house is windows. It’s great. I highly recommend visiting. While we were there, we got MORE Christmas/my-26th-birthday money, and what do you think we did with all of that cash?

Guess.

We bought Rosetta Stone. And it’s awesome. I recommend Rosetta Stone just as much as visiting my Dad’s house.

Then, after 17 days of being away, we returned to good ol’ Arkansas. Whew.

Oh yes, while we were gone, the couple we’re living with bought a house, packed up, moved all of their stuff and ours to the new house, and cleaned the old one. And we weren’t even there to help. We have good friends.

Now enjoy the myriad of photos that we felt needed to accompany this post.