Living life one day at a time…

I don’t know how I agreed to it, but somehow I said I would stay and work an extra four hours (which turned into five hours) at the hospital this morning. They were pretty desperate because they were a nurse short. Normally I NEVER would say yes. I’m the queen of saying no. But it was the one night supervisor who I really like and she was asking me face-to-face and I really wasn’t feeling too bad at that point (having already worked 12 hours).

But believe me, it went downhill fast. Because it was so last minute, I had to get a whole new group of patients. Bye-bye patients that I knew all about…hello all new patients that I had to get to know in a hurry. Hello breakfast on the floor by 7:30 am, giving insulin, listening to lungs and bellies while people are trying to feed their bellies. Hello going to morning rounds and not really knowing a damn thing about what the “plan” is for these patients…pretty much “when can they leave” and “why are they on this floor?” Hello patient’s families! Did you know that I actually have a ton of stuff to do in between trying to answer your questions…my assessments in the computer, morning meds at 8 am and 10 am, notes in the charts. Helping when your pod-mate’s patient is crashing and has to be transferred to ICU. Talking to family members on the phone who don’t live in this state but want to help their father make a decision about his mother who is 94 and had a major stroke and is pretty much non-responsive…should they put in a PEG tube? Talking to the father who is torn–he is the health care proxy…he knows what his mother wanted–no more surgeries…to die peacefully if something like this happened–but being torn by the thought of his daughters hating him and never talking to him again if he let’s their grandmother die. Oh the stress.

I was SO READY to go home. My eyes were burning. I couldn’t think straight. And I didn’t want to see another patient or family member in a long time.

Please…if you are someone’s health proxy…that person chose you for a reason. They choose you to speak for them when they couldn’t. You have to be strong, even if people will hate you. You will have to live with yourself. And remember, it is about quality of life, not quantity. I can’t begin to say how many patients I have cared for where there is no more quality. You can’t hold on for yourself.

Somehow I think this is the part of medicine that I hate the most. Always doing everything for everyone, just because we can.

Gosh, what a depressing day.

At least when I got home we joined the gym. It was absolute TORTURE sitting there while she changed our membership from trial to actual…just because I was so tired. Then we headed to Subway, picked up a sub to share and I ate and hit the sack.

Just got up at 8 pm. What a day off. This is the only one. Back again tomorrow.

Can I just say I SO PREFER working nights to days. I think I would have a nervous breakdown if I had to work days. I really think that the night nurses have more time to pick up all that doesn’t get done on days and they definitely have more time to spend talking and caring for a patient. I’m stressful just thinking about days now. I can’t wait to go back to my beloved nights 🙂

Since I ran out of time to post anything yesterday, I wanted to make sure my mom knows how much I love her. Even though we may not always agree on everything, I know that if I need someone to listen to me, she is right there for me and that is such a comfort to me. I love you mom and miss you more than you know.

It was a nice (but rushed!) Mother’s Day in MA. We headed over to Kimm’s parents house where we feasted on our first grill out of the year–thanks Mom June! Veggie burgers, potato salad, fresh raw veggies, chips and mmmmm strawberry shortcake!!

Then of course it was work. It seems like all the holidays, no matter how big or small I’m rushing off to leave everyone and work. It kind of sucks. But I guess that’s why it’s called work and not something else. At least I get paid.

About Me

Hello and welcome to my blog. My name is Kaye, and I live in the New England state of Massachusetts. This blog follows my life, day by day. You are SURE to read about my partner Kimm, our cats, Charlie (aka Mr. Man) and Madeline (or as we call her, The Queen), our newly adopted 3-year-old lab, Izzy, my nursing career, the food we eat, and our endeavors in fixing up our newly purchased home (yep, we finally bought a house in 2008 after dreaming about it for MANY years!). A few of my interests include...cooking, reading, trying to live frugally, health and nutrition, watching movies, listening to tunes, and catching up on other blogs. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoy my random postings...