Fangirls, don’t overreact too much please. It just goes to show how much you loathe gays. Heechul can swing both ways, so just let him. You can’t blame people if they’re doubting Heechul. It’s hard to be convinced that he’s straight when he kisses guys and gets their numbers for meet-ups.

Whether he’s gay or not, he can do whatever he wants. He can like whatever he wants. I just prefer his feminine side, though. hehe.

Mithra and Heechul… at least we know who the bottom in that relationship is.

It’s sad that artists that actually are gay are never able to come out because of the ignorance and the stigma in Korea. In the end, it’s all about business, and being gay is bad business when you have hundreds of thousands of screaming [delusional] little fan girls that dream of marrying you.

My eyes popped open upon hearing Bom’s heavy feet. Woah! I have never been this close to Chaerin’s face. Two inches is so CLOSE! Awkward! Well, for me it is awkward. Chaerin is still asleep, dead to the world around her. I quickly pulled my face a few inches away, afraid to be so close with Chaerin. We are close friends, almost like sisters, but this physical closeness is just too uncomfortable for me. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, too close also means too distressing for me. I guess I have subconsciously built walls around me. Not a lot of people can ever penetrate those walls. But there are just some people who can see right through those walls and they can find their way to see the real me.

I can’t let go of what’s in front of me here.

I’m still recovering from the shock of getting to close to Chaerin. It slip off my mind that she has invaded my territory a few hours ago. It’s starting to get bright outside, just enough to illuminate Chaerin’s lovely face. Wow, she doesn’t look so fierce right now while in a deep slumber. Seeing her gentle side right now, I just can’t believe that I was once intimidated by her mere presence. I’m sure guys and girls, too would love to trade places with me right now. I’m just here lying beside C to the L. I can’t help but be curious if anyone has been in her heart. We don’t talk about our love life in much detail. I also don’t want to be too invading. We do have a very comfortable relationship. However, just when I think that I know her really well, she comes up with something that surprises me.

I’d never sing of love, if it doesn’t exist.

I never thought any person can feel devoid of love. I’m not looking for love and I’m certainly not looking for a man to love. These days, men just don’t appeal too much to me. Sure, I love boy-watching but nothing more than that. I don’t know. I always get awkward around guys. It’s like my so-called natural charm turns off when there’s a guy around. Well, not for CL. She’s charming as always whether or not there are boys around. I will forever wonder where her confidence and charisma are coming from.

I had sworn to myself that I’m content with loneliness.

I lay on my back. I don’t think it’s wise to psychoanalyze CL while she’s this close and I’m facing her. I might just end up falling in love with her. ha. ha. ha. Like it’s even possible. Honestly, I don’t take the three year ban of no boyfriend seriously. If I fall in love, it will just happen and there’s no stopping it. I have to admit it does get lonely. It’s always nice to have a security blanket of love. It’s always nice to be sweet and intimate with someone. But these days, the most intimate moments I have is with Chaerin. Weird, right? But I am actually happy about it.

And I’m on my way to believing.

I close my eyes again. I did not actually have a good rest. It’s the big night tonight. This is the night we’ve all been preparing for. It’s MAMA night, I’m not actually expecting much. I’m already glad that 2NE1 is nominated for various categories. I do hope that everything will go well tonight.

Five minutes, I just need five minutes to calm my mind.

“Ow!” I shrieked as Chaerin shifted her weight almost on top of me. She’s hugging me and her face is near my right shoulder and neck. Here we go again. Her sweetness attacks me again.

“Unnie, get up now and take a shower,” she said in a really low voice.

“How is that possible when you’re almost pinning me down?”

Chaerin is shifting her position. She turns to face me. Her face is so close to mine again. I find it odd that I’m actually okay with it. I am actually comfortable after feeling that she’s very much comfortable this way.

I’m surprised that she actually has no morning breath. Why oh why doesn’t she have morning breath? Why does she have to be perfect all the time?

She hugs me again and burried her face in my chest this time. I can’t hide my awkwardness. But somehow it feels right this way. I hug her back. The feeling of being protective rushes inside me. I just want to protect her.

“Yeah, I hope everything goes well tonight.” She doesn’t respond. Baby Rin seems asleep again. This time she’s asleep on my chest while hugging me. I close my eyes as well. This feels right. This is right.

Leave me with some kind of proof that it’s not a dream.

*******************************************************************

Author’s notes

The words in italic are lyrics from Paramore’s “Only Exception.” This is still from Dara’s point of view. Do you want more action? haha. I will get to that. For now, I’m still developing what Dara actually feels. I’m still trying to get you guys inside Dara’s head and heart.

I’ll try to write from CL’s perception. But I think it’s going to be hard for me. She’s crazy unpredictable, right? hehe. That’s why I end up writing from someone’s point of view. There’s no better person than Dara. Chaera love is always obvious. No doubt!

Do you have any suggestions? Go ahead and leave a comment. It will be greatly appreciated.

I so love this video made by TheRen214. The song is perfect! I know some of you are not SkyDragon shippers. I really understand you guys, especially Daragon shippers. Before MAMA, I was more of a Daragon supporter because I think it’s ridiculous to pair up two people like CL and GD who are so similar in so many ways. CL is like a female GD. I thought that Dara and GD had more chemistry. In fact they’re perfect together! However, when I saw the closeness of CL and GD in MAMA, somehow it left a deep impression on me. I mean, their closeness was not staged, it wasn’t even for a performance. It was oh so spontaneous.

Now, I’m not going to argue if they’re really a couple or not. I actually don’t give a damn if they are. What makes me happy is seeing them getting along well with each other. Of course, their so-called public display of affection (ehem, I can’t count the number of times they hugged and the camera caught it) never fails to make my heart melt.

Whether they’re a couple or not, their closeness is really priceless. As a girl, I somehow envy CL for having a close relationship with a guy like GD. From what I can see, their relationship is not something malicious. It seems that they’re just there for each other, supporting each other. They’re close and there is no doubt about that.

P.S.

I sort of fell in love with CL first before I fell in love with GD. haha. Her personality and her looks captivated me. I don’t “love” her just because she’s hot. I’m actually not impressed by physical beauty. God knows there are a lot of beauties out there with no substance, talent, and personality at all! I’m talking about local showbiz here. They’re just shallow and superficial bitches.

I said to myself that if there’s ever a guy like CL, I will not even think twice and offer myself to him. HAHA. So I realized later on, that CL is actually a female version of GD. I used to hate guys like GD. I absolutely don’t like skinny and androgynous guys. Everything has changed though. GD is an exception to my rule of no skinny guys. I prefer guys like Taeyang. He’s soooo masculine. I love that! But then again, at the end of the day, looks will not matter at all. It’s always the personality that makes you stay.