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Tag: Coping

It’s now November. As soon as Halloween finished everyone started to advertise Christmas, which I wholeheartedly approve. =)

General News

I don’t really celebrate Halloween as passionately with Birthdays and Christmasses but I did try to get into the spirit when I played board games at my Brother’s Halloween Party. It’s always good fun but I do find myself confused with the rules. At one point I was so focused reading the rules that I accidentally knocked over my J2O all over my Brother’s cards. Whoops!

It was my Mum’s Birthday last Saturday and for her Birthday I got her Disney Crochet Patterns book and a Beauty and the Beast picture that I painted for her personally. I’m thankful that she likes it because it took me a long time to draw and colour it. It was especially difficult because Disney is not my style so it was tough to adapt, but with great fortune I managed it. =)

I watched Kingsmen: The Golden Circle at the cinema with my Brother and afterwards visited the Hard Rock Café to have drinks. That evening did take a toll on me because it was very busy with lots of people, both inside the café and around it because of the Little Mix concert.

I did embarrass myself at the bar by asking for a marshmallow J2O. Why I did this is still a mystery. Putting that aside indulging in that calming yet active atmosphere was a good experience. I wouldn’t want to go out every week but I would certainly like to come back one time to the Hard Rock Café. =)

Fun News

During my breaks of writing, drawing and looking after my niece I’ve been indulging on my Nights of Azure game, the second instalment, Bride of the New Moon. I’m really enjoying it. It feels a tad weird not seeing Arnice or Lilysse in it but it’s still good nonetheless.

Thanks to the previous games of the Atelier Series and the first Nights of Azure I have a firm grasp how to play the game. I have good idea the location of the plot, how to strengthen weapons, how to enhance specific items and so on. This time I bought the normal edition for the Nintendo Switch so the efforts it’s probably not as rewarding as it might be for the PlayStation 4, trophy wise, but I find it more rewarding that I’m able to progress through the storylines without online tutorials. I’m figuring everything out for myself and I can enjoy the story and gameplay without worrying about achieving the trophies in the process.

Playing it for the Switch is beneficial as I can play it anywhere. I know there’s the Vita but with Nights of Azure I’d rather play it on the Switch with a controller than on a handheld like the Vita.

In hindsight I probably should have bought the limited edition which comes with extra goods, like the DLC, but that’s not really important. What’s important is my enjoyment of the game which I’m enjoying very much.

I’m doing other things besides Nights of Azure. I’m playing Senran Kagura PBS for the PS4 and New Game! for the Vita. I practice Yoga every day and I’m reading manga/light novels before bed. I’m currently reading How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom volume 4 and just made it to chapter 5. As soon as I’ve finished reading that I’m going to read In Another World with my Smartphone volume 5. I considered reviewing all volumes from 1 to 5 in one swoop but that would be too much of a hassle so I may settle to just reviewing the newest volume if the mood strikes me. =)

Art News

I’m taking some time from my schedule to study some art books. I have confidence in my ability right now but studying fantastic art and artists will not only help me improve but it will inspire me more and give me clearer ideas for my future illustrations. Luckily I have ideas I’m already working on but I really want to take my time with them.

I feel I get better with every picture I draw. I can visualise the content of my pictures much clearer, and that makes me very happy.

I’m going to attend the Doki Doki Festival over the weekend. This will be quite a big event for me as I arranged the trip to go there with my brother. It’s the complete unknown and I am somewhat apprehensive about it but ultimately I think we will enjoy it. =)

This morning was a very unique experience. To celebrate my Brother’s 30th birthday he has hired a Cinema venue for a couple of hours to play Wii U games on one of the gigantic screens. =D Apparently this was the first ever time that someone has hired a Cinema screening to play Wii U games on.

The anticipation did get to me and that resulted in me losing some sleep last night wondering what was going to happen and over-analysing. Because I was nervous I started to think irrationally but eventually I managed to tell myself “pull yourself together.” Nothing has happened yet so it’s pointless to imagine scenes and picture the worst case scenario. Just go in there with a positive mind, and that’s what happened.

I went there with a small group of friends and family and we started to play the Wii U. I noticed the huge difference playing games on a small TV than playing games on a huge screen. Cinema screenings are usually filled with people but on this occasion there were only the 7 of us so I’m willing to go as far as say that this was the best filming experience ever… except, we were playing games rather than watching a film. Haha.

I tried to be a little more chatty this time around but sometimes I stayed quiet, unsure what to say so I just played the games. We played Nintendo Land and Mario Kart. I was very rusty. I wasn’t so good to begin with but I was even worse today. Not that I mind though, it was good fun and a brilliant experience.

I keep mentioning about my epiphany from months ago but it’s proving to be diffidence in my current positive way of thinking. Plus, I didn’t get trapped in the toilet this time so that’s a big bonus!

We played for two hours and it was a very good change of pace, but even so I did somewhat reached my limit because I started to get some blankess in my head. The blankness in my head usually indicates where I’ve been out for too long but it had nothing to do with the event itself. My enjoyment for the event was slightly greater so I tried to ignore the headache and just try to make the most of it.

After having fun whilst being somewhat out of my comfort zone I can relax with a nice hot chocolate. =)

Speaking of comfort zones, something completely off topic, I babysat my young niece the other day which was a bit spur of the moment. Usually I do struggle with “last minute” situations as I like routine but luckily this time around I managed to gather my thoughts and babysat her with Mum until my Brother came home.^^/

Positive thinking really does help a bundle and it’s a bonus when you go out for the sake of having fun. =)

It has been a good couple of weeks for me, especially with my summer projects.

I got one story pretty much sorted but my fantasy story and my other project will remain a secret until I’m ready to reveal them publicly. =)

Art wise I decided to change my approach. Initially I decided to give myself a summer themed project where I will draw a group of girls depicting their hair colour. One picture will be the Summer Girls: Blonde Beauties where it depicts anime girls who have blonde hair and the Summer Girls: Blue Beauties showing girls with blue hair.

I had 6 or 7 of these planned but the idea eventually overwhelmed me so I decided to limit myself to the Blonde Beauties and Blue Beauties. At this moment I have much more enthusiasm to draw the girls from New Game! rather than self-forced projects.

Speaking of New Game! I’m enjoying the anime much more than I thought I would and I would go as far to say that it’s my favourite from this season. I’m in the midst of illustrating a rather colourful picture of the protagonist, Aoba Suzukaze. It’s important for me to capture the same cuteness of Aoba in this picture as she is seen in both the anime and the manga. So far, I’m on the right tracks.

Finally, before I stop type-talking, I took the opportunity yesterday to go shopping as I needed some new clothes. It’s not often that I go shopping and only planned to stay the morning but I got a good haul of bargains and a new pair of trainers, which was especially important.

I did well to cope with the crowds of people but the longer that I was out, the more that I wanted to go home. I felt lethargic and uncomfortable but I was rewarded with good and important purchases. Some of the clothes I can’t wear until winter season but it gives me another reason to look forward to Christmas. =)

Usually when I’m under the weather I get the odd cold here and there, especially around Christmas. However, I’ve recently been under the curse of both a throat infection and a chest infection.

I’ve felt rather sick to the point where I felt dizzy when I was reading text and walking around the house. I’ve been chilling these last few weeks by watching stuff on TV. I’ve been watching Disney Films, White Chicks, Football, Marvel films, Jessica Jones, Only Fools and Horses and anime.

I do think I am on the mend as my appetite for food is gradually coming back and I can read text for longer periods. I can even draw on my tablet now a little bit which I’m very happy about. Not being able to draw or write did make me rather unhappy. To compromise I drew on paper for a couple of days, and I spent half an hour last night drawing Alice Nakiri from Food Wars! on the tablet. It turned out really good and I intend to use that Alice picture to be my profile picture on websites like MyAnimeList and Pixiv.

I still do have a few dizzy spells and coughing fits here and there but I just need to remember to take it easy. I’m not the type who likes to just chill out as I like to keep myself busy. Sometimes though you have to adapt to situations and in my case I had to do nothing in order to get better, and as of right now, I’m still recovering.

Right now I’m going to go and watch the latest episode of Dagashi Kashi and then watch Non Non Biyori back to back. =)

2016 has been good to me. I already like it more than 2015. I have lots of exciting things planned and I’m currently in the midst of doing those exciting things too.

My Story

My ultimate goal this year is to publish my story on Kindle. I’ve been reading a few children’s stories recently as part of my research and it has helped me a lot. I’ve completed many drafts but now it’s nearly finished. I’m nervous but excited about the prospect of self-publishing my very own story. =)

I also have a fantasy story in the pipeline but that is a humongous project and I won’t complete it anytime soon. I’m especially excited about that.

My Art

I’m continuing to upload my works on Deviant Art but I recently created an account at Pixiv.net. Pixiv, as far as I can tell, is like Japan’s version of Deviant Art but it seems that all the art on there is anime and manga orientated, where Deviant Art is all styles of art.

I’ve joined Pixiv around the New Year and so far my art has been very well received. I’ve been getting plenty of nice and encouraging ratings, bookmarks and even sticker comments. I’ve gained 5 followers in the process too. It makes me happy knowing that people like what I draw. =)

Speaking of drawing, I have a few drawing ideas. I’m planning to draw and create my own avatar/profile picture and/or a banner/wallpaper for my profiles for my Twitter page[1], my DeviantArt[2], my Pixiv[3], my MyAnimeList[4] and potentially for my Instagram[5].

I have a Tumblr too but I’m considering of deactivating that account as I’ve never really been on it.

I’m planning on drawing a simple face portrait of Alice Nakiri from Food Wars! for my Avatars. I can’t decide if I should use Alice Nakiri for all of my Social Media Avatars or if I should use just use it for a selected.

For my banner I’m planning on including a few characters; Cerea from Monster Musume, the four girls from Non Non Biyori, Ouka Ohtori from Anti-Magic Academy 35th Test Platoon, Mai Kawakami from Myriad Colors Phantom World and Kyouka Kagamin from Dragons Rioting. I have a good idea how the picture will look.

I recently practiced sketching Mai Kawakami so I can get used to drawing her. It took me a day but it was worth it as drawing her was a lot of fun. You can find the link just below if you’re interested to have a look. =)

My first Yoga session this year was with a lady called Becky. It was the first time that I participated in her yoga class but I very much enjoyed it. I usually struggle with sudden new faces but I really enjoyed it as the session was calm and relaxing.

I tried Pilates for the first time the other week after hearing that it’s very similar to Yoga. The Pilates class that I attended was not really enjoyable. There were lots of people around and the atmosphere was energetic, which I didn’t like. I was in agony a few days after the class to the point where it hurt to move. Haha.

I think after practising Yoga for many years I’ve come to appreciate the philosophy behind Yoga. I now prefer the quiet relaxing atmosphere and the calming of the mind rather than fast determined workouts. I can’t say that I’ve disliked Pilates as I’ve only tried it once, but I will try another class next week and see how I feel about it afterwards.

I may even try Rock Climbing, but I will see how I feel!

Kitacon 2016

I have bought a VIP ticket to attend Kitacon 2016. =) Kitacon 2015 was one of the biggest experiences in my life and I think this year’s Kitacon will be just as important.

I’m a bit nervous about it as it will mean spending time away from home again and potentially socialising with people who I’ve never met before in a very big building. I do have experience what it’s like and there will be things that I will do and won’t do again.

I intend to take lots of photos of Cosplayers as last year’s Cosplayers were awesome. I have no doubt they will be just as awesome this year. I even have plans of cosplaying as a certain person that went down well with a group of friends last year. Can you guess who I’m considering dressing up as? 🙂

I will worry and get anxious about this so the best thing for me to do right now is to not think about it and deal with it when April comes.

Anime Winter 2016

There was plenty of Anime for me to look forward to in 2015 but at this moment in time there hasn’t really been an Anime this year that has captured my interest.

I am watching two anime from this season’s line-up.

Myriad Colors Phantom World: I’m enjoying this so far. I think it’s funny and entertaining. All the girls are cute and have cool abilities. I especially like it how Reina eats up the rogue spirit people and how the battles conclude. The limbo challenge was fun to watch but it also shows that you don’t need to beat people up to win a battle. I thought that was rather cool and I will definitely watch this on a weekly basis. =)

Dagashi Kashi: What I liked about this show is that the background art and atmosphere reminds me a lot of Non Non Biyori, especially as Coconuts own a Candy Shop. =D I find it to be very eccentric and funny, especially Hotaru’s antics. Dagashi Kashi is completely different than Non Non Biyori plot wise, but like Non Non I think it will be very easy to watch and I think I will grow to like it. =)

THANKS FOR READING

I’ve been really enjoying myself so far and I’m especially proud as I’ve recently completed the illustration of Kirin Toudou, which you can see right at the top of the page. I feel that it’s definitely one of my best recent ones as it’s vibrant and colourful. I think I’m getting better at drawing as times goes by. For now, I will take a somewhat rest from drawing. It won’t be a long rest though. =)

I will now take it easy as unfortunately I caught a bug again after recovering after Christmas. I feel a bit dizzy and I have been coughing quite a lot but I’m not feeling sorry for myself as I am just watching Non Non Biyori and other anime that I’m catching up on. =)

It’s no secret that I have my problems, especially when it comes to socialising with people and in groups. However, even though I do struggle in social situations I find that no matter how awful I feel I always manage to cope and adapt to other people’s needs.

I think this trend started when I was at my SEN school so in a way it became a way of life and I grew accustomed to thinking about others. In a way I found this rewarding as through those 15 years in the SEN school and college I never once lost my patience. =)

Being autistic you would assume that people would take my needs into consideration. However, I actually think that it’s quite often the opposite. I always adapt to other people and their needs as I think it’s in my nature to think about others before myself. I think my family folks bear my needs in mind and accommodate them if necessary.

I also consider my friends and their personalities. There are some things that I can say to certain friends that I know I can’t to others. That’s because some of my friends are more sensitive about certain subjects so it’s necessary for me to avoid them.

However, in my case, I feel that I’m rather approachable and that anyone can say what they like to me without restraint (within reason of course). In a way I think that does fill my chest with pride as I feel like I can talk to anyone without worries. However there have been times where I do get aggravated but I either grin and bear it or I just focus on the positive and make the most of it.

I’m autistic but that doesn’t mean that I can’t adapt to others because autism doesn’t limit me as a person.

It will seem very strange to say this but at this moment in timeI feel like a social butterfly.

For the past two or three weeks I’ve been outdoors, a lot. Most of my time is spent working on the garden and building the foundation for the summer house. However, I have actually been spending some time socialising with people. I’ve been doing a bit of DIY with my brother as well, something which I have never done before in my life.

Before going to Kitacon I went to watch Ant Man with a few close family members. It was somewhat impromptu, from my point of view. I had good warning but I got it in my head that I wasn’t going to watch this film until I had been to Kitacon so it did catch me off guard. I was ok watching the actual film and in a way it was a nice distraction from thinking about Kitacon. We talked about the film.

Some of you may already know that I go to yoga. I go to yoga every Wednesday mornings as it’s the class that has the fewest numbers which is my ideal class. It’s also the same class that do tea and biscuits afterwards. I was always kindly offered to stay but I always said no. I said no namely because I have to go back home to wait for parcels or avon and because I had a driver waiting, aka, Dad. One of the main reasons is because I do get very nervous in social situations and I never felt like staying.

My confidence coming back from Kitacon was fairly strong at that point so I decided to stay behind and socialise with my fellow yogis. My yogi instructor was most surprised and happy. Haha. It’s a nice group so I always thought about staying behind. I’m glad I did stay behind but I was nervous because I didn’t know what to say or do so I just listening mostly to what everyone else was saying. Will I stay behind this week? I won’t plan to. I’ll just see how I feel.

I was actually invited to a friend’s birthday party but my Bro didn’t ask me to come. He was aware that I was going through a big head-mush at that point in time and didn’t want to make it worse for me.

It doesn’t seem like I interacted that much by what I said in this blog but from my point of view I’ve done much more than my fair share or socialising with different people whether they’re family, friends or strangers. I’m in the frame of mind that I could easily talk to anyone, even if I do get a head mush or I do get dizzy from interacting with people in unfamiliar environments.

I managed to share my photography Kitacon gallery on the Kitacon Facebook page. That was also very brave of me as I don’t like standing out in crowds and I never speak to anyone publicly on social media pages. I might like posts on Facebook but I have never uploaded a galley or something to that extent… until now. The reaction was quite positive, to my relief and surprise, and one lady asked for an original photo so I facebook messaged a photo of her. I never thought I would do that!

Kitacon still seems like a very long dream. It just doesn’t seem real for some reason. I digress as this is about me being a social butterfly rather than Kitacon. Haha.

Socialising doesn’t require a skill or magical powers all you have to do is be confident and be who you are. Sometimes it will work out, other times, it won’t. It’s never easy or straightforward for me but people are just people. =)

I felt that the morning was quite uneasy. We checked out at 11 O’clock. I felt insecure as this meant that I was hanging around until the closing ceremony. I didn’t have anywhere to go to relax. When I read manga or chill out I like absolute silence with no one around. Unfortunately for me there was no quietness or peace.

In the end I decided to try and be brave and read in the lounge. A lady came over and asked if I minded if she sat next to me. I responded that I didn’t mind but in truth I really did mind. I couldn’t fully relax but I was still able to enjoy reading a few pages of Non Non Biyori.

More Photo-Taking Cosplayers

I did keep an eye out for more photo opportunities, and I’m glad I did as I got a few more photos of cosplayers. I felt that my confidence had grown the more I talked to different people. There were at times that I said a few quirky quips that thought “oh no, why did I say that?” The things I said weren’t necessarily inappropriate but I sort of wished I had chosen a different way to say things.

Some of you may already know that I do struggle in social situations and sometimes I tend to say things without realising what I just said. Sometimes, if I want to find a meaning but don’t know the word, I would make up a word and say it. Haha… people find it funny but it can get me into trouble even though some of the things I say are not meant to be mean or nasty.

I managed to get the One Piece crew together. I asked a lady, Robin, if I could get a photo. She asked if I wanted the whole gang together, so I said yes… with subdued excitement. I waited for a good while for the whole gang to round up but it was most certainly worth the wait. I was really happy that I managed to get them together. I managed to get someone dressed as Iron Man too. My Mum likes Iron Man so I really went out of my own way to get a picture of him dressed in the Iron Man suit.

I had a lot of pleasant small talks with quite a lot of people really, Vegeta, Super Sonico, Kotori from Love Live, the One Piece crew, Tifa, I could literally go on. There were so many people that I talked to. Because I interacted with different people I found that I was able to form my words more coherently.

I also learned something interesting when I got back home. I had posed for a photo in my Batman outfit with Harley Quinn. I then discovered when I got home that she is actually Rayi, an infamous cosplayer. She has her own Facebook page and DeviantArt Page. I did feel daft for not knowing who she was. However, I’m really happy because I can say to my friends and family that I actually spoken to and had a photo with Rayi. =)

How to Draw a Manga with Sonia Leong

The event panel that I was looking forward to was the drawing workshop with Sonia Leong. I came to learn during the workshop that Sonia is actually an infamous manga artist in the UK. Her works spreads throughout the UK and she has been drawing for many years.

I really enjoyed her workshop and I felt really relaxed. The atmosphere was really chilled and positive. It reminded me of the yoga class that I attend on a weekly basis. I think it’s because drawing was the only thing that I can relate to and that I am interested in. There were quite a few tips that I already knew but I still learnt a lot by watching her draw first hand. She’s a very good artist. Not only that, she’s a very nice down-to-earth person who is a social butterfly. Her workshop was very detailed, but not complicated. That’s my kind of learning. =)

I was determined to speak with her but there were a good number of people who were speaking with her so it was hard to get a word in. In the end, I decided to go off and come back later to see if I could. I managed to speak with her in the end and she really is a nice person. We spoke about the relationship of characters and how we implement real life into a fantasy story. I never planned to say more than a few words but I felt encouraged to say more. I was confident that I could speak without being judged.

In the end more people came and kept on finding pauses in our conversation to say their bit. I’m too polite for my own good so it was easy for people to talk over me and interrupt.

I wanted to say goodbye to Sonia and shake her hand, but it looked like that I had to wait longer. So, I decided to be bold and found a pause when the lady next to me stopped talking and asked Sonia if I could shake her hand. She obliged and I shook her hand and walked away. I felt that it was rude of me to do that but Sonia is a very popular lady so I had to be a little bold and a little rude otherwise there might not have been another good opportunity.

I don’t usually shake people’s hands as it’s not my style but for some reason it felt appropriate, so I did. =)

Closing Ceremony

Day 3 was generally chilled as Days 1 and 2 were more active.

I didn’t really fancy going to the closing ceremony as I wanted to go home at that point. I did appreciate the positive atmosphere in the air but in truth I wanted to go home and I didn’t want to get involved in any more big crowded situations.

I found that the journey home was much better than the journey to Birmingham. I went to Kitacon with plenty of anxious thoughts and not really knowing what I was getting myself in to. However, I knew exactly what to expect when I travelled home.

My Overall Thoughts

If I were to describe my time at Kitacon I would say that it was a surreal experience. It was like I was dreaming for many days and then one day I woke up and I was back in my own bed. Haha.

I have never experienced anything like it in my life. If you were to tell me that I was going to rave, in a night club, amongst a humongous live crowd with extremely loud music, I wouldn’t believe you. I thought that was actually ok to do as I mostly hung out with Bro and my new friends in the corner, out of the way of the big crowd.

I did think that my confidence in talking to people did grow, bit by bit, especially when I was taking photos. I always told myself that I was going to take photos but when I arrived at the hotel I felt somewhat scared that I was going to do it. I got over the barrier by taking my first photo of Hestia. It became easier after that. Everyone there was approachable and friendly and chatty and I really do appreciate the fact that they took their time to pose for my photos. I also appreciate getting to know my friends more and in the process gaining new friends. Of course, I also appreciate my Bro and Sarah for trying to make my time at Kitacon as comfortable as possible.

My social skills were shaky at times but I think I outdid myself.

I’m always mindful to catch the cosplayers at good moments. I was sure not to ask to take their photos if they were part of a cue or if they were running to a certain destination. I would have liked to be more creative and have more creative shots and backgrounds but in those moments it was wise to do it there and then. My most creative shot was Vegeta because I caught this nice chap at a good moment.

By what I’ve observed I get the sense that everyone generally preferred to stay in their own social circles rather than branch out and talk to new people. However, that didn’t stop them from being friendly towards me and I got the sense that they were generally appreciative of me taking their pictures.

I went through many mixed emotions, but my headaches and dizziness were the most prominent as I literally had a headache since I got there. That’s mostly because of the loud noise of the music and crowd and from the over-whelming experience of being in an unfamiliar environment.

5.1. My Personal Highlights

Mario Kart Tournament

Dealers room

Interacting with Bro, Sarah and all my current and new friends

All the friendly cosplayers

Drawing Workshop with Sonia Leong

Listening and watching Non Non Biyori… Non Non never fails to cheer me up and it may seem strange to say this, but Non Non Biyori always somehow reminds me of home.

Eating food

My Hotel Room

What I learned about myself

I learnt, as I always do, that things are not as bad as I imagined them to be, like that time when I went to London. No matter how irrational or how sick or how dizzy I get I can always cope. I never allow myself to be broken no matter how down I feel about myself. I can always cheer myself up. I never feel sorry for myself. In conclusion, I’m probably much stronger than I realise.

I also learned that I’m much better at talking to people than I realised, all I needed was a bit of a confidence. I also found that by not planning conversations in advance I can actually talk to people better. It’s all about talking in the present moment and that tactic worked very well in my favour.

Would I Go Again?

I don’t even want to think about that right now. I just want to spend some time to myself, chill out with my family and get back into my normal routine.

At this moment I don’t know if I would go again. As soon as I got back I thought “I won’t necessarily go again” and in some ways I’m sort of sticking with that rule.

But, after digesting the whole experience after a couple of days it was actually a fun convention. I have a rough idea as to what will happen next year and I have a good idea at what I will do the next time that I go/if I go.

Next time I would probably come down on Friday and leave on a Sunday morning. I would also extend the time for my room so I am able to go up there to get my own space. Chill out more as I feel that I tried too hard to talk to people and participate in the Kitacon experience. I put too much pressure on myself and I was already under-going many anxious feelings, so next time I would plan my time better and not put myself under so much pressure.

I also may buy a VIP badge for next time as I like the sound of being a Very Important Person. Haha.

One thing I would definitely change though… my I.D. name! Honestly, being called “SirRyanFalstaff” was really embarrassing. What identity should I be? If you have a suggestion please do share.

THANKS FOR READING

There were at times where I just wanted to run away and call home but I sort of willed myself to try and look on the bright side. The first time I slept away from home was last year in London but this was the first time that I spent three days away from home. I was also surrounded by many, many people who I have never met before. It’s all a completely new experience to me.

Even though I don’t think rational in new and unfamiliar situations I prove to myself time and time again that I can cope. That in itself is the biggest achievement of my Kitacon Experience.

I didn’t really get much sleep. I set my alarm for the breakfast time as I was aware that I was taking part in the Build a Mecha Challenge. However, I thought that I was going to participate in that straight away and that the “breakfast time” was a guideline rather than the act of having breakfast. Haha.

From that point on I was over-whelmed. I was extremely confused and everything that my brother told me completely went over my head. I wasn’t being rude I just could not digest what he was saying. I think I’m honest when I say that I didn’t really fancy building a mecha but it was an opportunity to socialise and get in with the action more so I decided to continue to be brave in socialising.

I thought we were going to build a Mecha with a certain group of friends, but I learnt, that we were building a Mecha with another group of friends. That isn’t really a problem but when something unexpected happens or something changes from my point of view, it really catches me off guard and throws me off. Just before we started to build a Mecha three of four other people joined and started to crack on with the crafting.

I honestly had no idea what was happening. Do I hold the sellotape so that anyone can cut at any time? How do I help out? Just stand back out of the way? Strangely enough I felt uncomfortable when those pro photographers were taking snaps of us building a mecha. I found it distracting. I was also surrounded by people who I never met before. Being crafty was not my thing and I felt inclined to let everyone else get on with it.

In the end I decided to rely on my own strengths, drawing. I drew a bell for the collar, I drew a banana wearing a British flag and I drew a gigantic face of a bull. One of my newest chums, Mat, provided the orange eyes to place on the bull face. =) In the process I managed to take a few good photos and managed to have a little talk with a few of my fellow team mates. The theme was the letter B so we had to attach parts to the mecha that began with b.

I do tend to be biased towards my own team but my personal favourite mecha was the orange neko mecha. It was cool and cute.

Embarrassing Incidents

Unfortunate there were two. The first one involved room service.

I was in my room when I decided to chill out for a bit. Then, I heard footsteps and someone opening a door. I thought, “That sounded like my door. Perhaps it’s a lady coming into my room?” I laughed to myself. Then, I heard “Room service.” And then I thought. “Hmm, that sounded very loud actually.”

Then, I turned around and there was an actual lady walking into my room and as soon as she saw me she literally shrieked in surprise. I think she felt very awkward after that. It was a good job that I wasn’t getting changed!

Second incident… this one is especially embarrassing.

I needed to draw out some money from the cash machine so I asked my bro for directions. He pointed to where the cash machine was, which was on the wall on the other side of the room. We were sat in the lounge at the time.

Now, this is the perfect example of me not thinking rationally… I was looking in the direction that he was pointing but all I saw in front of me was a lady in front of a till. In my head, I just needed to go up to her and ask her to draw the money out. “Odd,” I thought, “I have never known to draw money out like that before.” …so I went up and asked.

The lady gave me such a frowning when I asked. When she understood what I was trying to ask she then directed to the actual cash machine on the wall. I apologised many, many times. I held my face in my hands after I walked away. I could not believe what had transpired.

I did manage to recover from that embarrassment afterwards.

Name that Anime Tune

I had a headache already but I had high hopes for this competition. I was really confident in my knowledge of the anime genre… me, bro and Chris were not very… we didn’t do well. Overall we must have gotten something like 10 out of 120. Haha. That will teach us for not getting into bigger groups.

We were mostly silly with our answers but I personally did get a few answers right. It was really fun but at times mind-baffling. I recognised the tunes but couldn’t match them up with the anime shows. Haha.

Cheering Up

There were other things that cheered me up apart from listening to and watching Non Non Biyori.

My confidence in photo-taking and socialising did grow, bit by bit. There were a few times when I posed with someone for a photo. I managed to pose for a photo with someone dressed as the Green Arrow. That was appropriate as I was dressed as Superman at that time.

At some point I got dressed as the Dark Knight and I had a photo with Harley Quinn. She was really cool and I enjoyed talking to her. I did get nervous when she slightly touched my arm to get into a pose. I used to dislike hugs or physical contact but now I’m not so bad. I can handle hugs and physical touches much better now as I bear in mind that a lot of people are tactile.

It was a really good photo in the end.

I enjoyed having small talks with a lot of people really. I didn’t realise that I was capable of having small talks, usually I talk in depth as I struggle to generalise conversations. I especially enjoyed talking to the lady dressed as Yuna. We were talking about the overall experience of Kitacon and I think she said that this was her first convention as well.

I bought a few DVDs and manga from the dealer’s room and I was definitely happy with my purchases, especially the No Game No Life novels and the Super Sonico figure. I spent about 20 minutes talking to this really nice chap about his costume and about helmets and gauntlets. I never planned to have a conversation with him, it just happened and I felt much better after that. I did feel a bit uneasy because it was the first time that I met him but the flow of the conversation felt natural because I didn’t plan what I was going to say, I just responded to what he was saying. =)

Hentai Panel

Aha, the Hentai Panel… I wasn’t planning to attend this but I was somehow persuaded to go. Haha. I was sceptical. Was this going to be as rude as I imagined it to be? However, I was reassured that this was going to be more humorous and daft than showing erotic films.

I wore a jumper. Big mistake. I was really, really hot. Plus, the cue was humongous and we had to wait a good while in the corridor. When we got in I was guided to seat right bang in the middle of the right row of chairs. I sat between Sarah and a new person I’ve never met before. I usually like to sit on the ends so when I needed to go out to clear my head I could do that. However, I was stuck right in the middle and couldn’t move if it got too much.

There were quite a few moments that I found funny, like that girl who shot the rockets from her boobs and knees. It was rather cringing to watch but it was still humorous.

I did clench my teeth when the option of showing a rude Thomas picture did show. I was like “Oh no! They’re going to de-face Thomas!” Luckily, Thomas was never shown just other pictures of trains… I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. Haha.

If I’m honest I must say that this was probably my least favourite part of my Kitacon experience. I was uncomfortable to begin with, I had a slight headache and I didn’t really understand what was going on. I felt that the atmosphere was very rowdy and very loud and it got to the point when I felt dizzy and sick and I couldn’t really think straight. I had to leave in the end as according to eyewitnesses (my bro and friends) the colour drained from my face. Haha. I decided that that was the opportune time to get an early night, and so I did.

I was already over-whelmed by the whole Kitacon Experience and the Hentai Panel took it to another level. Haha. Of course I appreciate those who enjoyed the Hentai Panel but it wasn’t for me.

I didn’t really get much sleep to tell you the truth, I was extremely nervous and the anticipation did get the better of me at times, especially during the car travel. I felt sick. It was a mixture of lack of sleep, the long car drive to Birmingham and not knowing what to expect. I heard the hotel of Hilton was very well established but when I got there I was completely blown away.

I walked into the hotel and immediately the place was full of vibrant cosplayers and convention enthusiasts talking amongst themselves happily. I did feel claustrophobic as I didn’t know where to walk or what to do, so I just followed Bro and his partner, Sarah and trusted them. I don’t take lifts unless it’s very necessary so I took the stairs… it took me five minutes to find them so I had to ask someone for directions. It’s not often I talk to random people so that’s good for me. I tend to struggle a lot in social situations, most specifically in big crowds. I tend to feel squashed and get headaches and feel dizzy. Day one was especially quite troubling.

I really liked my room. I got the disabled room as I wanted to feel as comfortable as possible as really this was the first time that I was undergoing this kind of experience. The bed and room were exquisite and it did meet my needs and made me feel more relaxed, but it’s nothing compared to my own bed.

Photo-Taking

What made me especially nervous was the thought of photo-taking cosplayers. I was incredibly anxious on a big scale. Usually I take pictures of landscapes and objects to distract myself from being scared in an unfamiliar environment. However, I’m always careful as to not take pictures of people as I don’t want to be seen as being inappropriate. However, I came to this convention with the intention of taking pictures of cosplayers. If I was really not up for it then I could at least try and pluck up the courage to take a photo of a person dressing up as Hestia if someone came as Hestia.

I was making my way to the lounge area with Bro and Sarah when the site of long black pigtails and blue ribbon caught my attention. Someone was dressing up as Hestia! In that sudden moment of not over-thinking I decided to be brave and ask her for a photo. So I did… my words was mumbled and jumbled up. Haha. She gave her approval and I took a picture of her. I felt scared but very relieved afterwards. I told her that I was uploading my photos on my blog site in case she wanted to look at her pictures online.

Once I got over that barrier I felt more confident to ask more cosplayers for their photos. I asked the two ladies who were dressed as the Mizukage and Hinata characters for their photos and I actually ended up having a little conversation with them. They were impeccably nice and I actually regret not keeping the conversation going as I was enjoying talking to them. I never anticipated that I was going to talk to them, it sort of came naturally. It seems like I can hold a conversation better when I let the words flow as oppose to planning a conversation.

Everyone was approachable and I actually gained more confidence as I spoke to more people. In some ways I don’t really know why I was worried about starting conversations to begin with. Everyone was friendly to talk to and I didn’t feel intimidated or uncomfortable at all. Well, I did feel uncomfortable but more due to the humongous amount of people and unfamiliar environment rather than the individuals themselves. =)

I did change my wording a little bit when I spoke to them. Instead of saying that I was uploading them on my site I told them that I would upload them onto Kitacon Facebook page. Its easy access and they would all be able to find their photos easier on Facebook then to try and remember my name. In hindsight I wonder if I should have made cards but realistically speaking it was probably for the best that I didn’t.

I’m not really a pro at photography. I just wanted to take photos for fun and to show off everyone and their amazing cosplay outfits. After all, everyone had worked really hard on their outfits.

Mario Kart 8 Tournament

I was intrigued with the tournament but it never entered my mind to enter the competition. In the end I decided to compete. I was in the first round along with Bro, Sarah and another girl who joined later on. The first two would advance to the semi-finals. I like games but I’m not good as I’m not an avid gamer. In my mind, I was going to come last so I just sat back and tried to enjoy the experience.

To my surprise I actually went through to the semi-finals and in the process knocked out my brother! How the heck did that happen? I was really over the moon. Whatever happened after that was a bonus.

In the semi-finals I was actually on par with the elite gamers. In some of the races I was actually first. I was really out-doing myself. I couldn’t believe that I was doing so well. I was casually talking to my competitors in the process. That was fun because we were competing against each other but it was far from fierce.

My lack of experience in gaming did catch up to me as at times I kept on mistiming shell dodges and kept on flying off edges… I would have finished second overall but I did absolutely terrible on Rainbow Road. I think everyone does. Haha. In the end, I came third.

I think I did so well because I was the most chilled. Everyone else was more competitive and they were leaning forward whereas I was casually sitting at the back of my chair.

Sarah got through to the final and came third. The Splatoon man, who was racing as Wario, is very, very good. He’s also a very nice chap and I’m glad I had the opportunity to speak with him and had a photo taken with him. =)

I got a few good responses dressed as Superman. I didn’t get asked for photos but I don’t really mind that as this is an anime convention not a comic book convention. =)

Raving

For those who know me well will know that raving, at night, in a crowd of people with extremely loud music is most definitely not my thing. However, I did have a bogey with Bro. Me and Bro took to the dancefloor. I showed off some of my own unique dance moves and at one point we were right bang in the middle of the crowd… strangely enough I felt ok-ish and I enjoyed interacting with a few peeps. They seemed like very nice people and I will look forward to speaking to them more if the opportunity arises. =)

If you were to tell me five years ago that I was going to rave at a party and stay in a hotel for three days I wouldn’t believe you. That was a very unique experience and I certainly will not forget that experience any time soon. That was probably the first and last ever time that I will rave. XD

Evening

For some reason, I felt rather down as soon as I got to my room. I felt tired, jaded, confused, stressed, and anxious. I also realised at that point that I had a really bad headache. I think that was probably the only time that I had time to myself. I think if I’m honest, deep down, I wanted more time to myself. However, I was conflicted with my own thoughts. In one respect I wanted to make the most of the experience at Kitacon but on the other hand there were at times when I wanted to be completely alone.

It really is such a surreal experience. Being in this hotel, at this event, sleeping in my own room, it’s very weird. I had no idea what I was expecting and to be honest I still don’t really know what’s happening. I feel that it’s all too face paced and in some ways I probably exhausted myself and pushed myself too hard to socialise. The whole day was basically just catching up with me…

I felt much better when I started to watch Non Non Biyori Repeat on my laptop. I just kept on re-watching the opening song and I gradually felt my spirits lifted. Non Non always make me feel better whenever I am down. It cheered me up on the car journey to Birmingham and it cheered me up at this precise moment. Not only is it a therapeutic and cute story but it actually reminds me of home.

It was that moment that I felt comfortable for the first time since arriving at Kitacon. To begin with, Kitacon is what you make it, even if I do choose to spend the entire weekend chilling in my room as long as I have fun, what does it matter?