London has the London Eye. Melbourne has the unofficial "Melbourne Eye" in its Southern Star Observation Wheel (though it does seem to be a closed eye more often than not). Now Sydney will get the Sydney Tower Eye, although you may know it as Centrepoint, Sydney Tower, AMP Tower, Westfield Centrepoint or "the one with the Olympic statues made of coathanger wire on top".

Launching next month, to coincide with the oft renamed tower's 30th birthday, the new Sydney Tower Eye promises to bring "the best views in Sydney to brand new heights".

The latest name Centrepoint Tower has been burdened with. Photo: Louie Douvis

Exactly what those heights might be is open to debate. Parody potential? Misunderstanding? Shameless copycat branding?

The bizarre tourism tactics don't stop there though. As the marketing materials rightly point out "the new Sydney Tower Eye offers guests breathtaking views of one of the world's most beautiful and captivating cities" and the renovated Observation Deck and Skywalk outdoor tours on the roof of the deck are indeed spectacular.

But just look what stands between you and the view, in fact between you and even getting in the lift to the view.

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"Each visitor will begin their Sydney Tower Eye experience with a prelude to the amazing views they'll experience above - a preshow of fascinating facts and history about Sydney Tower's construction and Australia, coupled by sweeping images of iconic Sydney." A fine piece of tourist trapping, but survivable.

"Next, visitors will enter the new 4D cinema – featuring the first 4D film ever produced in Australia. The 4D cinema experience uncovers a new dimension to Sydney with spectacular footage transporting you across Sydney Harbour, its famous coastline, iconic landmarks and events that are integral to the city."

Surely we could just play tourists a megamix of Home and Away, Underbelly: Golden Mile and Number 96?

As for what makes it four dimensional, the answer thankfully isn't smell-o-vision though it is gassy.

Sydney will get the Sydney Tower Eye, although you may know it as Centrepoint, Sydney Tower, AMP Tower, Westfield Centrepoint or “the one with the Olympic statues made of coathanger wire on top”.

"The engaging film experience is taken to the fourth dimension with evocative in-theatre effects including wind, bubbles and fire - a perfect way to get to know the inspiring city of Sydney."