Cutting through the hyperbole often associated with popular unpopular music.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Ela Tour Journal #3

Day Something - Monday September 23

Early ass drive back in the other direction from Spokane. It's nice to get one good show in Spokane under the belt because Heiruspecs has never had one. I often thought that Heiruspecs might have met "fuck those dudes" in local slang with how few people showed up. We are losing an hour going to Missoula but we have plenty of time. We arrived on time but soundchecks and things are running behind. The club is going to be really full and the stage looks like the puppet stage from "being john malkovich". it's just hopelessly tiny. We load our stuff in and mill around doing nothing. I helped move a ton of couches out of the way with some dudes from the club and we figured out how to make our merch as small as possible between the three bands. Minus the Bear's merch guy, Steve, is great. If I didn't have a real brother named Steve, I'd call him brother Steve. But I do. He drinks whiskey diet cokes and beers. He talks about girls. We're both chunky but super suave (that means smooth in portuguesa or something).

Both the other bands on tour have their own soundguys but we get to work with the houseguys everynight. And this house guy was just not into the deal and was arguing with the traveling sound guys but then they started broing out and talking about whatever sound guys talk about. I try to hang with jokes with these dudes but I have not a fucking clue what a crossover is or why it's called a cardiod? I don't even really know how to play bass. We had a soundcheck after doors opened but tonight it was count the 19 year olds because it was an 18+ show. Our set turned out to just be wonderful. Small stages can really help. We played our asses off and I had some very strange moments of just being so close to people and looking at each other. Not in a rock star/fan way but in a very "it's hot in here, I bet those drums are loud for you too, I like tuning my bass between songs, have you noticed?" type of way. After the show we loaded out while drunk people walked past our equipment and tried to knock it over. A sold out show in Montana is not like a sold out show elsewhere. Because the town drunk who orders a double shot of Jameson but claims he ordered a single somehow still gets in. And the dudes running shit at the fake ass digital casino next door don't give a fuck if your "fuckin' skynrd", get the fuck out of the way.

I attempted to hit on a girl that was nice to me working behind the bar after she got cut from her shift. Hitting on in this sense means talking and going "really?" when if it was a dude I would go "sure, yup, sure". She was actually super nice and dropped the boyfriend line within the third paragraph. But she added in a nice way that he is in a hardcore band and is working the door right now and is eight feet away from me. More turtle dick. But the dude was super nice and when a very drugged out dude tried to sit behind our merch the dude got even more drugged out of the club by hardcore bf and another door guy.

I ended up getting the number of a girl towards the end of the show who was staying in the area cause her and her girls didn't want to drive back to Helena (the sham capital of Montana). They picked my drunk ass up from the Ela hotel and brought me to their hotel. We sat their alcohol-less while we talked about random shit that appeared on the TV. It never materialized into a conversation and I could not figure out what these three girls that didn't go to high school together and were different ages were doing together. I was getting pre-hungover and towards out of it. They mentioned it was one of the girls' birthdays recently. Small talk me asked what they did to celebrate. Big talk them mentioned the old Jehovah's Witness deal. They were all Jehovah's Witnesses dude. Forgive my dude talk but I've never like socially ran into a Witness, just the typical knockety knock type meetings. I would like to thank the author Zadie Smith for giving me half a leg to stand on in regards to knowing what their whole deal is. I asked some acceptable questions, cracked no jokes (people deserve respect for their religion and a hang out is not a comedy routine). But, I'm plagued by that indecision when you find out an interesting fact about someone, do you ignore it, or delve deep or try to quasi natural bring shit up. Such as: "oh weird, that door's made out of wood. Do you guys knock on doors made out of wood to proselytize about the second coming and the doomsday scenarios I've read about in your pamphlets?"

A dude friend of one of the girls came over and I was downright excited to see another guy. I mean, I had no idea how to hang with three girls, all witnesses, with no liquor talking about shit on TV and everytime I want to say fuck or shit or even anus bubbles I sort of put like an extra half second before and after of considering not swearing, and then still swear. I am waiting for the dude to bring some liquor in from his car so I can remember how not to act like an idiot but he's got jack shit. But, he's not a Witness and we talk about smoking pot in high school (i feign coolness and experience) and other shit and suddenly people are talking. But, nothing is remotely popping off in any sort of coupling up mode. So they drive me back to my hotel but we stop at Denny's. I see an insane girl I remember from the show who bought about 150 dollars worth of merch total from all the bands and wanted it all signed and didn't seem totally on her rocker. She is grabbing two boxes of to-go food and heading home. I drunkenly imagine an alternate universe where I'm eating hash browns with a plastic fork in a 90s taurus listening to the new subtle CD and passing gas on the Minus the Bear tote bag I'm accidentally sitting on. But, I am actually in the form of reality where I am ordering an appetizer sampler extra ranch with two Witnesses from Helena, MT. I mean shit.

The Denny's food is decent and I'm done being annoying flirty now that it's 4:30 and the thing they most look for in a man is "faithfulness, decency and a commitment to morals". At this point something comes through my nose. But I actually get a really interesting picture of life in Helena for these girls and they are certainly not preaching anything to me, we are just sharing things and I realize that you really do learn a lot hanging out and talking to people at shows and at anywhere that's comfortable to talk. They voluntarily dis-spell a lot of rumors regarding Witnesses. They mention that a lot of people think they don't believe in Jesus. I never thought that and I tell them so. I think people think that Witnesses do these things: think the world will end sooner than most of us do, knock on doors and talk about this stuff, and count Michael Jackson amongst their faithful. I guess Michael actually is not himself a member and not everybody knocks et cetera. So, we iron out all the details, pay our bills and they drop me off.Knol lets me in after Bill doesn't answer. I sleep on the floor with a hoodie for a blanket (it's 6x, so don't feel too bad for me, plus I'm still a bit drunk). I sleep through "Blood Diamond" which I put on on my computer with my headphones on. We have to drive a lot tomorrow.-- ela on tour with minus the bear/subtle