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Just Bill Walton Rubbing Dirt On Himself On TV, Nothing To See Here

The Bill Walton – Dave Pasch booth is like that old helicopter game we all used to play. Walton is the aimless helicopter, and Pasch is the space bar that keeps Walton from crashing and burning live on air.

Nothing to see here. Just Bill being Bill. Showing up to work with a tin can full of dirt from Temecula that he’s apparently just been keeping in his car since his last Dead show. Rubbing on himself on air without a care in the world, as if that was the normal thing to do.

You know what the Bill Walton – Dave Pasch booth reminds me of? That old helicopter game we all used to play. Walton is the helicopter, and Pasch is the space bar that keeps Walton from crashing and burning live on air.

Walton is that helicopter: just kind of flying along aimlessly, capable of crashing and burning at any second. And Pasch’s job as the space bar is to prevent that crash. There are obstacles to dodge along the way – like getting sidetracked with a five minute story about Bill’s last Grateful Dead concert that probably went exactly like the last 3724 Grateful Dead concerts he’s been to, or a completely baseless rant about something going on in the world today – but Pasch usually guides the helicopter to the finish.

Occasionally though, Pasch will lose control.

You know when your fingers would cramp up or you’d get sweaty and miss the button, and the helicopter would just fly down to the bottom? 98% of the time it would crash. But 2% of the time, you’d catch it right as it went below a very low impediment and pull it right back up. It shot down so quickly and so expectedly that it actually avoided an obstacle that it probably would have hit.

This was one of those times.

Walton started rubbing that dirt on himself and Pasch just completely lost control. Yet Walton went so off the rails so quickly that he actually ducked below a very low impediment. And juuuuust at the last second, when it was ready to crash and burn, Pasch pulled it back up to avoid the ground.

Dave Pasch, professional sportscaster, overqualified babysitter, and space bar in that helicopter game we all used to play. The consummate professional.

P.S. Do you think the Warriors clown on Luke Walton for this? They have to, right? I can just see Draymond and Iggy walking into practice today with a tin can full of dirt from outside the practice facility telling Luke they brought him a special gift.

P.P.S. “This is how you use this dirt” is an incredible line. This is how you use this dirt, as opposed to all the other ways that people use dirt.