Little Lolita & Leg Lengthening

Hayden Panettiere was spotted out in West Hollywood yesterday with her dog and her boyfriend (he’s a boxer) Wladimir Klitschko. She’s on the short end of short, and he’s on the tall end of tall, and so, as you can see, you can almost stack two of her to make one of him. Tricky.

I saw these photos and it was perfect timing. Went out to dinner the other night with Duana and Michelle. Our conversation topics are always very random. Cut to the three of us standing in a 7-11 buying cat food and Duana educating me on something called Leg Lengthening Surgery. I had never met Leg Lengthening Surgery before. She described it and I felt my own legs go numb. Was queasy thinking about it. Still am.

They saw into your leg bone between the ankle and the knee and there’s up to 3 inches of steel that can be thrust into there, and just like that, after several painful weeks of recovery, you’re that much taller.

Look, I get that it’s an essential service for some people with health concerns and setbacks. But Asians are doing it routinely for vanity, not unlike the double eyelid procedure to make them look more white. It’s especially popular in China. Of course it is. Because my people are f-cked. Click here if you want to see a photo. Go to #9.