So, to help you (and okay, ourselves) determine when it's a good time to care and when you can just roll your eyes and walk away, we've broken down some common situations and the amount of f*cks you should actually give.

MISPLACED YOUR F*CK:You’re not getting enough face time with the boss. So what? Sure, it’s important that the big cheese knows who you are, but quantity ain’t got nothin’ on quality. Kicking butt at your job is a better way to get noticed than kissing it.

FRIENDSHIP

GIVE A F*CK:Your pal joked that you look like Sabrina the Teenage Witch in your ‘90s-style choker (dude, they’re so back in!). Don’t brush it off; tell her she kicked you in the feels. Good friendships are based on honesty, and she likely didn’t mean to hurt you.

SAVE YOUR F*CK: Your squad is doing weekly girls’ night out, but all you hear is the siren call of your couch. Bail with impunity. Your friends might get a little bent out of shape, but they can suck it up and get turnt without you, just this once.

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MISPLACED YOUR F*CK:You’re invited to a friend’s baby shower—ugh. Stop feeling put out and ask yourself, “Do I hate the chocolate-in-the-diaper game more than I love this person?” Skipping her big event could damage your relationship, which you should give a f*ck about.

PARENTING

GIVE A F*CK: You get a call from the teacher that your child was teasing her classmate. “This isn’t about other adults thinking badly of you because of your kid’s behavior,” says Knight. “It’s about stopping little Susie from growing up to be a bully.”

SAVE YOUR F*CK:The breastfeeding police have come for you. Consider and choose the best course for your family. Then don’t sweat it. “Having your kid on the teat—or not—isn’t going to guarantee him the presidency or turn him into a serial killer,” says Knight.

MISPLACED YOUR F*CK:Junior needs a zillion extracurriculars (archery! Mandarin lessons!) to get into a good college. Nope. He needs a balance of activities, family time, and downtime to be well rounded, college-bound or not.

THE DAILY GRIND

GIVE A F*CK:Your morning commute is deadly. It’s okay for that to be a deal breaker. When Knight’s Brooklyn-to-Manhattan subway slog became brutal, she went freelance to avoid it. Finding something closer (or working remotely) may be your fix.

SAVE YOUR F*CK:All your friends are joining the latest $40-a-pop boutique fitness class, but it seems too expensive and trendy for you. Repeat after us: "Nah, I'm good." If an old-school step class gets you to move your ass, who cares if some consider it passe?

MISPLACED YOUR F*CK: You feel guilty about not dusting. Ever. Lamenting your (lack of) housekeeping skills won’t get your house any cleaner. “Figure out what you can do,” says Knight. Delegate the task to your roommate or kid? Hire a cleaning service every other week?

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FOOD

GIVE A F*CK:Your organic obsession has started feeling like a chore. Sorry. Organic meat has fewer harmful antibiotics, and fruits and veggies have fewer pesticides. Get thee back to the farmers’ market.

SAVE YOUR F*CK: Your vegan yoga instructor catches you eating Greek yogurt before class and launches into a speech on how dairy will interfere with your practice. Take a deep breath and call upon this mantra: She’s my yoga teacher, not my yogurt teacher.

MISPLACED YOUR F*CK: You can’t decide between an artisanal, locally sourced, conflict-free tartine and a paleo gluten-free seaweed wrap. You probably don’t want either one; you just want to be—or want to appear to be—virtuous. Order the dang falafel you were craving.

SEX

GIVE A F*CK: You haven’t masturbated since Dubya was in office. Not cool, girl. Giving yourself a big O floods the body with oxytocin and mood-boosting endorphins. (The chemical release can soothe menstrual cramps too. And it’s more fun than Motrin.)

SAVE YOUR F*CK: There’s been no sexy-lingerie-wearing since your honeymoon. How is that a problem? If your spouse isn’t a bra designer, he probably doesn’t care about what you wear to bed as much as what you do once you get there.

MISPLACED YOUR F*CK: You don’t understand why you’re not getting laid as often as your best friend. (Three times a week? Really?) “Don’t be distracted by a pleasure competition derby,” says Michael Bennett, M.D. “Instead, focus on getting the amount and type of action that’s right for you.”

This article was originally published in the January/February 2016 issue of Women's Health.

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