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How to teach kids to stand up for themselves?

How can I teach my kids to know how to stand up for themselves? When someone makes fun of them, for example, in school? How do you teach kids that sometimes it's just a joke and they should just ignore them and know the difference if it's not good and they have to tell a teacher or person of authority?

I would have to say that, in this case, we should teach by example. The way that we parent our children (for example; listening to their concerns, helping them to achieve their goals, caring for them) shows them how to interact with others in the world. In particular, how our children view us as parenting their siblings when there is a conflict situation between them models to them how them should deal with other conflict situations (such as at school).

You sound like a very caring mum who has an excellent attachment with her children and I am sure that you teach your children a lot from the way you naturally act without even realising it

I think it is wise to teach our children 'ground rules' i.e. what sort of behaviour is unacceptable for them or anyone to exhibit. This would include physically hurting another person, a bullying situation where a child is made to be a victim and undermining someone's well-being.

You can read books with your children that tell stories of such unacceptable situations and talk about how the characters might be feeling and what your children should do in that situation.

Similarly, we can teach our children to have a sense of humour (again through our own attitudes) and laugh off comments which are not meant harshly.

If you feel that your children are unsure of what is 'just a joke' and what is 'unacceptable behaviour' then you might want to start by getting them to talk through the situations they are in each day and how they felt at the time. It is important that our children know that their emotions matter and that we are listening to them. You can work with your children's class teacher to do this.

If you want to let me know any further specific examples then I could comment further with some more practical ideas.