The Effect of Other “Women”…

In case you hadn’t heard, June is Dairy Month. At my house, it’s Dairy Year…every year. Why? Because the hubby works for an agricultural company that sells to dairy farmers. Early on in my relationship with said husband, I figured out that I had some competition for his affections…the four-legged kind. I did emphatically state that I wanted me to be at the top of his affection list, but I have always known that, after me (and now our daughter), bovine female creatures are his next love…mooing and all. Here’s what I’ve endured after 31 years of such competition:

1. An over proliferation of cow-themed mugs. So much so that I’ve had to send the less significant ones to garage sales twice just to make room for more.

2. Cow-themed birthday, anniversary, and Mother’s Days cards. I tend to forgive this provided I haven’t already seen one 14 times and if they’re pretty humorous.

3. Giving out cow-themed thank you and Christmas cards, complete with the company logo.

4. Extra amounts of Febreze to counteract the bovine smell emanating from the hubby’s clothing. Lysol also works when it manages to infiltrate the washer and dryer.

5. When noting the above, hearing my hubby’s response of “Smells like money to me.”

6. A higher water bill because the hubby has to get the bovine smell off of his body as well.

7. A large collection of dairy boots in assorted sizes outside my garage door, usually with remnants of bovine manure still encrusted on them.

30. Realizing that dairy farmers don’t usually live next door to IHOP, Ikea, and Pier 1 Imports.

31. Empathetic smiling while my hubby explains why restaurants should serve butter as opposed to margarine to a very irritated waiter or waitress.

Despite all of the above, there have been multitudinous benefits to being married to “Dairy Boy,” so most of these things seem rather trivial after trips overseas and to Alaska, steaks every night for dinner, and a beautiful home, so I’ll keep on enduring the above for all the “perks” that come with it. Just don’t send me another cow mug.