The Art of the Dodge

Because sometimes, giving a straight answer isn't the best option.

One way to control the information you dole out is to deflect. The key is to provide substance, a level of information that serves you without delivering exactly what the person is looking for. Below, three handy scripts for common scenarios.

YOUR PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYER ASKS: "What were you making at your last job?"

WHAT HE WANTS: A starting point, preferably below what he wants to pay.

WHAT YOU WANT: A clearer sense that the job is yours before you start haggling over numbers.

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YOUR ANSWER: "Well, you should know that money has nothing to do with why I'm looking for a new job. It's more about getting a better one where I can be more useful. Do you think this could be that job?"

LYING IN BED, A WOMAN ASKS: "So, how many women have you been with?"

WHAT SHE WANTS: Who knows why women ask this? But they do. They want to feel seen. Truth is, women do not want to be put into perspective. It's a classic no-win.

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WHAT YOU WANT: To give a sense that you don't care about numbers, conquests, or lists, that you know what you are doing and why.

YOUR ANSWER: "Enough to know that I'm where I want to be right now."

THE FLAT-SCREEN-TV SALESMAN ASKS: "What price did you have in mind?"

WHAT HE WANTS: A sense of how he can fill up that dollar figure with as much product as he thinks you can bear, perhaps even slipping the number upward in the process.

WHAT YOU WANT: The price you had in mind. Turn the tables. You are willing to learn more, so get him started with the techno-jabber; meanwhile, work the number.

YOUR ANSWER: "I want to learn about the technology. Let's start at the absolute middle and work up or down from there."