Question

How can I get my daughter to stop pulling her hair out?

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My 2-year-old has a habit of twisting and pulling out her hair. She used to do this only when she was tired, but when I started potty training her the habit worsened. I eased up on the toilet training once it was clear that this was stressing her out, but she continues to pull out her hair. I gently remind her not to do this, but it's gotten so bad that she now has only an inch or so of hair left (she used to be able to wear pigtails). How can I help her stop this behavior?

I have suffered with trichotillomania for years. Please speak to your pediatrician and just have her monitored. It is a form of OCD, prevelant in girls and is often triggered by stress but not always. It is often very calming. But it is very destructive, especially when you go through bouts and wind up with very little hair, as I have. Please get her checked out. Good Luck!

My daughter did the same thing, but it was NOT a serious condition. It simply seemed to comfort her and she did it mostly when tired or sitting still watching a video. Our pediatrician had few suggestions, so we came up with our own -- we gave our daughter a stuffed lion with a long-haired mane. Now she holds the lion's mane while she sucks her thumb and no longer pulls her own hair out in order to hold it. It just might work for you too!

My 27 month old daughter also pulls her hair and eats it. When we try to distract her, it only seems to give her more joy to pull it. I found a website on Trichotillomania ( www.trich.org ), which has a lot of information on this problem.

As has been pointed out by others, this behavior is called trichotillomania. While your pediatrician is a good start, I recommend that you consult with a child psychologist. There are many interventions that can be tried WITHOUT medication and your pediatrician may not be familiar with all of the tools at a psychologist's disposal. You do want to have it treated sooner rather than later so it does not become a life-long problem. Good luck!

Try to get her involved in other things that relax her when she pulls her hair, but don't point out the hair pulling to her because this can make it a battle. My daughter used to itch compulsively and I would distract her with another activity but not say anything about the itching because when I did it just made the problem worse. I also keep things in the house as calm as possible because she is to young to verbalize and deal with her stress in a healthy way and I don't want her to scratch her skin off her body. I also took her to the pediatrician and was given some good advice from her. Since the problem is so bad I would take her into a pediatrician ASAP. Her pediatrician should ask questions about home life and her activities and help you eliminate the things that are causing her the most stress. If money is an issue call your local Health and Welfare Office and they should be able to point you in the direction of a clinic that will take payment plans.

I did this when I was a kid. I specifically remember it NOT hurting at all. It kind of felt neat to feel the little hairs come out of the folicles, so the pain associated with it will not stop her. I had inch short patchy hair for at least a year. I really don't know what stopped me from doing it.

I did this as a child--I remember being old enough to lie to my mom and tell her that I wasn't doing it, so I was probably about 4, and it ended when I was maybe in first grade? I would twist it around my finger into a knot and then pull it out, on the sides mostly. My homelife was extremely stressful, and being (as an adult) someone who still tends to internalize stress and anxiety, it may be that your daughter is also super-sensitive. Also, I do remember that it became a sort of habit. It did go away eventually (and actually, my homelife got more stressful rather than less) when I had other outlets--sports, etc. I wore my hair long for years from elementary school on, so don't worry--this doesn't have to be a big deal.
This was way before the use of antidepressents, and psychiatrists were (are still are, where I was brought up) quite suspect. Before doing anything drastic, here's what I would suggest. (1) As much attention as you can heap on her while distracting her from the hair pulling as you see it happen. Don't actually mention the hair-pulling at all; you don't want to draw attention to it, as if she's getting any pleasure or relief from doing it, you don't want to reinforce that with recognition. Is there something that she absolutely loves doing? (ie for me it was animals, particularly horses). If you can fill her life with that as much as possible, the anxiety (if it is anxiety) may subside. (2) Do talk with your pediatrician--there may be a physical cause, ie itchiness or something.
As an aside, is your daughter really quick to pick up on other people's moods, does she seem to read body language really well, and does she react to what she seems to sense? These are all abilities that seem to go with that type of personality sensitivity. It's a huge plus in life, though it's hard to be that sensitive to other peoples' emotions. You have to learn to tune out somewhat, and at 2, she's not yet able to do that.

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