From Take That to Ukip: Top 10 best - or worst - Christmas cracker jokes revealed

THEY may be one member down, but Take That have topped the list of best - or worst - Christmas cracker jokes of 2014.

Take That and Ukip appear in a list of best Christmas cracker jokes of 2014

The daft pun about Take That missing the 'Orange' from their stocking, in reference to former member Jason Orange who quit the band this year, has topped a list of the funniest festive jokes.

A staggering 2,000 Britons voted for their favourite jest, with 20 per cent of people crowning the Take That pun as the best.

The top ten list also included jibes about footballer Luis Suarez, Prime Minister David Cameron, the royal family and anti-Brussels party Ukip.

Just missing out on the top spots were jokes about Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow, naked 'Elfies' and dating app Tinder.

The contest was organised by television channel Gold.

It challenged amateur comedians to once again write their own festive funnies after the results of a poll last year inspired their first Christmas cracker joke competition.

GETTY

Luis Suarez also made the list

Their poll revealed that 72 per cent of the nation believe cracker jokes are outdated, while 70 per cent were left cringing rather than giggling as they shared their puns around the dinner table.

The jokes were entered through Twitter and a panel of judges, led by comedy expert Bruce Dessau, went on to shortlist the best jokes, which were then voted on by festive-loving Britons.

The top jokes will be included in boxes of Gold crackers, presented to this year's winners.

Mr Dessau, chairman of the judging panel, said: "This year's top ten confirmed what I always suspected - that there are comedians everywhere.

What will be missing from Take That's Christmas stocking this year?

An Orange

"The entrants came up with quips that were cheeky, smart and snappy, the perfect combination for the perfect Christmas cracker joke.

"It was good to see lots of topical humour in there too, with Luis Suarez, Nigel Farage and The Great British Bake Off featuring prominently.

"And with this year's winner, Take That can now add yet another number one hit to their CV!"

The "delighted" author of the winning joke, Lynne Newton, received £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of Gold Crackers, one of which will contain her own joke.

Ms Netwon said: "I am so delighted to have my joke chosen as the winner and can't wait to see it in a Christmas cracker this year.

"I tried to think of a joke for which all age groups would enjoy the punch line, I hope it gets a great reaction from all who see it.

"My husband is 50 at the end of the year, so I'm planning to use the prize to surprise him with a holiday."

GETTY

A joke was also made about U2 frontman BonoTHE TOP 10 FUNNIEST CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES OF 2014

1. What will be missing from Take That's Christmas stocking this year? An Orange. (20 per cent)2. How does Luis Suarez like his Christmas dinner? Bite-sized. (18 per cent) 3. What do the royal family play at Christmas instead of musical chairs? Game of Thrones. (18 per cent) 4. What did the Snowman say to the aggressive carrot? 'Get out of my face.' (17 per cent) 5. Why is Christmas a busy time for David Cameron? He's got two parties to organise. (17 per cent) 6. What's the difference between Bono and Santa? Santa gives you things you want. (16 per cent) 7. Why won't Santa visit Nigel Farage? Because he only comes if you sleep, not if UKIP. (16 per cent) 8. Why are snowmen rubbish at cricket? They're always bowling snow-balls. (16 per cent) 9. I got a UKIP advent calendar. It's rubbish, all the doors keep slamming shut. (14 per cent) 10. Why is The Great British Bake Off like the nativity? Because the Star is in the Yeast. (14 per cent)

Others that missed out on the top 10 include:

Why were Santa's helpers in hiding this year? Their naked Elfies were leaked.Why won't Santa leave Chris and Gwyneth with his reindeer and sleigh? In case they consciously uncouple.Why does Santa put chimneys on Tinder? Because he wants them to be swept right.What girl band sells the cheapest variety of Christmas food? Lidl Mix.