Want to know why women have muffin tops? They're too busy texting and emailing to get rid of them! It's just one of the many amazing things you'll learn from Joan Collins Does Glamour. A few more of my favorites? That the former Dynasty star learned her beauty tricks from Marilyn Monroe's makeup man "a thousand years ago," and that she "doesn't mean to be rude, it's just...fleece belongs on a sheep." Yeah dolls, it's that good. Check out this highlight reel now:

What would you do if this woman stopped you in the supermarket to give you fashion advice? Are her little bits of advice hilarious or what? Did you laugh your arse off, like I did, when Joan wondered if toilet paper was something made for puppies? Are you obsessed with Joan Collins Does Glamour? Discuss!