Should i be ashamed?

I drive a BMW X3. I am 17. I didn't work for it, I dont pay for the gas, insurance or upkeep. I ended up being the sole driver because the old car I had broke down so i got my mom's car. I see people taking the bus who've worked their whole lives and i'm just handed this nice car. i feel embarrassed when kids ask me what kind of car i drive. It doesn't even get good mileage. sometimes i wish i just had a camry or something. can anyone relate? i don't want to start a class war, just want to hear some opinions.

As far as your question, I think life is a lot like a card game. Everyone gets a hand of cards and it's up to you how you play it. Some folks are born with a great hand, sometimes they win and sometimes they lose. Then there are folks who are born with a crappy hand but they play the hell out of it and come out on top, of course there are some folks who don't know how to play the game and they stay with the same crappy hand. The point is play the hell out of your hand good or bad and try to come out on top. Not sure if that helps but that is my 2 cents.

haha, not going to lie, people are going to be envious of, and resent people like you, just look at the "post your setup 18 and under" forum, things get heated over a few thousand dollars of computers. Don't flaunt it, i think that'd be the worse thing you can do would be to shove it in people's faces. Offer people rides, don't be that over-protective guy, and don't act aloof or anything. Enjoy it, just don't be arrogant about it.

Hey, you know, as long as you don't flaunt it, you're good. There's no reason why you shouldn't enjoy what you've got out of life, ya know? Whether or not you worked for it doesn't matter, as long as you recognize that not everyone's so lucky - something you clearly do. So, ya know - enjoy it, you lucky bastard!

just be grateful. certainly don't flaunt it, though it seems you aren't the type anyway.

you'll undoubtedly encounter those who may think you're cool for it, or that you're a deadbeat for it. whatever, it isn't any of their business and who cares what they think.

if you feel guilty about it on a personal level, an admirable thing to do would be to work to pay for some of the car at least. in this way you also gain a sense of responsibility for your vehicle. if that doesn't seem to be enough, you could always buy your very own used camry or civic by working for it.

Yea I think if you just don't flaunt and brag about it it's cool. True not many kids your age are as fortunate as you. Yea you might feel a bit "odd", but that's probably all in your head. Just try not to act spoiled or arrogant.

well I don't think you "should" or "shouldn't" feel guilty about it. I'll assume you didn't exploit or murder anyone to get it?

As long as you have no problem driving it then you have nothing to worry about.

As for people on the bus, not all of us are there because we're poor. I could easily afford a car (hey, I just paid cash for a 2.16ghz MBP) but I choose to spend my money on other things.

Now if you do feel really guilty about driving it then go ahead and get rid of it and get something you won't feel guilty about. But at the end of the day it's what how YOU feel about the car, not how others do.

Sometimes, I feel the same way too. I got a BMW 325Ci, and drive it everday to school. When I park in my spot in the morning, I see envious kids who want to sit inside or go out for a ride. But I also see kids who probably work at Ralphs or Vons everyday after school, or whose parents could never afford a BMW in their lifetimes.

However, instead of feeling ashamed or embarrased, I (this is going to sound SO cliche...) became grateful to my parents, whose hard work allowed me to drive such a car. There's certainly no need for embarassment or shame.

I guess the only time I've ever felt "embarassed" was when my frugal principal and teacher saw me pull in (and I just waxed it the day before!)

I don't think you feel "guilty." I think you feel "embarrassed" whenever someone asks you what you drive.

Personally, I would as well. I'd feel rather embarrassed, although I don't really think you should. You have done nothing wrong.

If I were you, I'd either enjoy it, or I'd sell it and get another type of car (if you don't like it, or don't mind). It's not that you NEED to because of some moral or other reasons, but it'll make you feel more comfortable at the end of the day, and how much is that worth to you? Taking a stand and sticking with your BMW is one option, because you've done nothing wrong by receiving this car from your parents. But are you really going to win at the end? Are you going to feel comfortable owning it even though you haven't worked hard? I don't think so. Some people may feel ok with it by being thankful to their parents, but some people are naturally more inclined to work for everything they get, regardless of their parents' financial situation, and I think you're that type of person.

By your reaction to this you are actually showing the correct feeling for being a "truly good" person. You certaintly shouldn't be ashamed, you didn't beg for this, it was fortune that came upon you. You don't flaunt it, (and shouldn't) and understand the true magnitude of the circumstances. You deserve what you were given for you humility. Enjoy it and bless.

don't feel ashamed. be glad you have a car. its very useful for school.

but as you have a very very nice auto, be prepared to take care of it. get the required maintenence!!

also, make sure you help out friends. usually at that age, having a car comes in very useful. So when going out, be nice and offer to drive. Hey if you are that friend who helps out, drives the friends for the night. it goes a long way to make friends realize you are not materialistic. just lucky.

Life is not going to always go your way. Like the other guy said, it is like poker; you are going to get dealt some real crappy hands too.

There was a guy I went through school with. He had it all; looks, intelligence and athleticism. He also came from a wealthy family. He also drew people to him like a magnet. He always had a smile and time to talk to everyone. It did not matter whether you were part of the top social clique, Dan knew your name and treated you like an equal and a friend. His parents bought him a brand new Corvette as soon as a kid could own a car. He dated the most beautiful girl (Mary Jo) in town, since they were 13. I read Dan's obituary a few years later.

So, be a good person, be thankful for what you have. But, do not feel regret.

By your reaction to this you are actually showing the correct feeling for being a "truly good" person. You certaintly shouldn't be ashamed, you didn't beg for this, it was fortune that came upon you. You don't flaunt it, (and shouldn't) and understand the true magnitude of the circumstances. You deserve what you were given for you humility. Enjoy it and bless.

wow i feel vindicated. thanks for all the great posts (and so soon) i give people rides a lot because many of my friends dont have cars at all. i think some of my guilt stems from the fact that it doesnt get very good mileage and i'm very energy conscious. i cant wait to be car-free and have a bike at college.

I drive a BMW X3. I am 17. I didn't work for it, I dont pay for the gas, insurance or upkeep. I ended up being the sole driver because the old car I had broke down so i got my mom's car. I see people taking the bus who've worked their whole lives and i'm just handed this nice car. i feel embarrassed when kids ask me what kind of car i drive. It doesn't even get good mileage. sometimes i wish i just had a camry or something. can anyone relate? i don't want to start a class war, just want to hear some opinions.

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I feel for you brother.... I'm writing this on a beautiful PowerBook G4 that my brother gave me.... and I'm ashamed of myself something terrible....

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