While putting together last week’s Friday Feets, I found so many cool things on Etsy that I decided the gift guide had to be a two part series. Last week’s post was all about wearable items (including a totally awesome triceratops hat). This week’s is about the stuff you can’t wear. Yes, there’s stuff you can’t wear in this world. I know, it blew my mind too.

Also known as:

As with last week’s gift guide, I can’t vouch for the quality of any of these items, but they sure look cool.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that butter is freaking delicious. Give the gift of creamy, melty joy with this antique butter churn. Remember: buy a butter, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a person how to make butter and they’ll probably give you a jar of homemade honey butter. Everybody wins.

I love baking and am pretty good at it, but try as I might, I can’t master the art of the macaron. This is terribly disappointing given how pretty macarons are (and how good they taste). They’re the perfect gift for when you don’t want to put that much thought into a gift but want to make it look like you did. Also, did I mention that they’re really pretty?

When I was a kid, I thought hollowed-out books were the coolest thing ever. I was a simple child. But book safes are really cool, and since I don’t know anyone who even owns one, I doubt a robber would ever think to ransack your bookcase. Unless they’re the famed Literary Robber, who breaks into houses and steals that one book you know you have and absolutely need to find immediately.

It’s rare that a flask actually catches my attention. There’s something about most flasks that feels so forced. I think it’s because you can buy them at Urban Outfitters. Either way, I wouldn’t normally post one, but I loved that this flask had a map of Paris on it. If you’re going to get someone a flask, get them a non-ironic, visually interesting one.

The decals available for MacBooks are the only reason I would ever consider making the switch from Dell. Who wouldn’t want Pedobear keeping a watchful eye over the room from the back of their laptop? And while I’m not one to make generalizations – okay, yeah, no one’s buying that. I’m totally one to make generalizations, so: if you know a guy who has a MacBook, odds are he’ll like this Street Fighter decal.

I think these are so cool. Ignoring, for a moment, the creepiness of Alice and Wonderland’s origins, the illustrations are really visually appealing to me. My favorite, hands down, is the Great Wave print. The text background makes this feel just different enough from the standard copies hanging on dorm walls around the country.

There are also drawings of animals, skeletons, corsets … all sorts of neat, old-timey things.

I’ve spent a lot of time staring in awe at Tiffany glass windows and lamps. If you’re ever in Santa Fe, go to the Staab House, they have an original Tiffany window. It’s gorgeous and at eye level so you can stand nose-to-nose with the damn thing.

The fact that people can just … make this … it’s kind of mind-boggling to me. I picked this piece because it’s got all the different colors, but there are more classic designs to choose from. I don’t know if a stained glass window makes a great gift, but I think stained glass is the most remarkably cool craft work ever.

This wool art is the reason I made these gift guides. I don’t know why I like it so much – maybe because I really love green? – but I think it’s really pretty. If I lived in an apartment with more than one room, this would definitely go on the wall of my office. It’s soothing and looks like something out of an Anthropologie catalog, but in the best way possible.

I don’t know exactly what my dog is, but I’m convinced he’s at least part-Chupacabra (you can see some pics of him over at my rarely-posted on blog Continental Canine). His fangs don’t actually fit in his mouth – the tips poke out and rest on this bottom lip. He can chew through a leash in seconds, he’s left puncture marks in his Kong chew toys (which, if you’re familiar with Kong toys, is really hard to do). In other words, this dog has some strong jaws. I haven’t actually used Elk antler chews with him yet but have heard nothing but good things about them. They’ll probably be a purchase in the near future, given that he can’t have cooked beef bones because he splinters them.

I love that it’s perfectly acceptable to get your cat high as a freaking kite. No joke, when I was looking for items for this entry the other day, the following items showed up – in this order – on Etsy’s “Recently Listed” page.

A catnip toy ensconced between three pipes. So fitting.

Thanks for reading! I’m going to be posting another giveaway soon, so keep an eye out on the fanpage for more information. I promise I won’t make it so hard to find the winner this time.

The highlight of the show, however — making the Samsung Galaxy S6 the undisputed best Android phone — is the improved fingerprint reader. Unlocking your phone with a pin or password is simply archaic by comparison