Last night I was leaving darts and as I was walking to my car I all of a sudden really, really had to shit. I thought my bowels were going to explode as I sat in my car and decided I would drive to my work which was only a few blocks away. Well, when I started to drive away it crawled back in and I decided I could just make it home.

It's about a 20 minute drive and I got halfway down the expressway and it hit me again. I had to take off my seatbelt, loosen my belt, and eventually even unbutton my pants to alleviate the pressure on my bowels. I was clenching my cheeks and practically standing to drive, trying to hold back the storm.

I get off the highway and get down to the end of Quincy Shore Drive which means I have about 3 miles left to get home. But instead of just taking a left and taking the last leg of my journey in the most direct way...there was fucking night construction going on and I had to take a detour. I thought I was going to cry when I saw the flashing road signs directing me away from my home, and my toilet.