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Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I don't usually do requests, but...

In the words of Lisa, "Oh deer..."

Anyhoo, I've woken up this morning to reports of heavy snowfall, travel chaos, stranded motorists and school closures. But not around here. While Brighton has ground to a halt under a blanket of snow, we've barely seen a flake in Devizes. I'm looking out of the window at green grass, blue skies and sunshine. Even snow is too exciting for Wiltshire.

It has been very cold though. Which is annoying as Lisa went with fashion over practicality, and only packed a light jacket for Amelie. She's currently modelling her Spring collection in sub-zero temperatures. But that didn't stop us getting out and about yesterday. A friend of Big Sis has lent us a buggy, which means we're not limited by how far I can walk in the baby harness without developing permanent curvature of the spine.

So we hit Devizes yesterday. Shortly after Amelie had hit the floor at the bottom of the stairs. Staying at Big Sis's house is a lot like reading 'The Thirty-Nine Steps' whilst listening to 'Stairway to Heaven' performed by Steps. We were taking bets on who would be the first to impersonate Mr Tumble, and my money was on Lisa, but at 10am yesterday it was Amelie who hit the deck with a loud thud. She only fell down three steps, which is about 1% of the total, but she managed to chin the wood flooring and burst into tears.

Fortunately, if there's one thing that can cheer up a four-year-old, it's an afternoon in Devizes. Mainly because it makes you appreciate how much worse things could be. We spent a couple of hours sheltering from the bitterly cold wind in a branch of Pizza Express, where Amelie did her best to look sophisticated with a hot Bambinoccino...

Naturally she oozed class, refinement and maturity beyond her years. Right up until the moment she put the chocolate-sprinkled drink back on the table...

If I'd been this age in the seventies, that's the look I would have gone for. Possibly minus the headband.

Anyhoo, we finished our afternoon by popping into Sainsbury's for one or two essentials, and coming out with a full weekly shop, after which we spent the evening trying to eat as much of it as we could. I think I've put on three stone in the past week, which is a problem as I'm about to get my kit off in front of another woman.

For reasons I haven't yet fully established, Big Sis has booked a visiting masseur to come round and give me and Lisa a rub down. Sis doesn't know her personally, but claims she's the daughter of a friend of hers. I'm a little bit apprehensive though. Bearing in mind how uncomfortable I felt the last time I was pummelled by a beautician, I'm a bit concerned that Sis may have found her in the personal ads at the back of the Wiltshire Gazette, and it won't be that kind of massage...