Psychiatric

I had consultant review on Wednesday. As usual all that was mentioned was 'psychosis'. A psychosis that I don't even have. I told him that I was just depressed, that my main problem was depression and that I wanted help for that. Why won't they help me with that? I'm on an antidepressant but they couldn't care less about my low mood. All the mental health professionals care about is psychosis and antipsychotics. I directly told him that I wanted him to review my antidepressant medication and he didn't even reply. I told him that i'm quite happy with the seroquel yet he insisted on changing it. Fuck sake, why don't they care about mood disorders? Why do they insist on talking about schizo affective disorder, schizophrenia and other 'psychotic disorders'? I openly admit to having suicidal urges but once again they couldn't care less. What do they want to do? I tried to kill myself and ended up on life support yet they still don't help. What should I do next? Go the train to eastbourne and jump a cab to beachyhead and threaten to jump? I feel like doing that anyway. I just can't go on like this. Although I survived the overdose, nobody seemed that bothered about my after care. When I was planning it I thought that if I did survive that i'd be spending a long time in a psychiatric ward, maybe even under a section of the mental health act. What happened? I recovered medically and was sent home. I couldn't believe it. When I used to take minor overdoses (which I done for attention) I was sent to the psychiatric unit under a section. It doesn't make sense. It seems that if you make a genuine attempt to end your life they aren't too bothered, yet when you take a couple of pills as a mean of self harm rather than suicide they send you to the mental hospital. How fucked up is that? Seriously.

I dreamt about beachyhead last night actually. I'm slightly obsessed with the beauty of it. The thought of enjoying the scenery before I plunge to my death. It's a beautiful place judging from the pictures i've seen. It's definitely my ideal place to commit suicide. With an overdose there's a big chance that you'd end up in hospital, but with this there's a 99% chance that you'd die. I mean, how many people survive jumping from a 550ft cliff? I'm sure that only ONE person has survived jumping. It really is amazing. When I die, I want it to be by jumping off beachyhead.

:hug:
Yeah completely agree with you there. I hear your frustration. I could be saying I want to jump on to the train tracks(and I don't go to A+E often. I was desperate that time) and they'd look at my self harm wounds, see this young girl, think I was there for 'attention', that I was probably 'borderline', have no clue about my history, have no MH notes by their side and send me back saying they can't deal with homeless people and hospital wasn't a shelter..

I know any admission to any psychiatric place will be on complete whim, it depends on who you're seeing and on what time etc.

Anyway when it comes to 'psychosis', they should take in mind if you're hearing things that effect you badly, obviously, you'll feel scared and shitty and depressed, if you're experiencing things that frighten you it will effect your mood. Mood and 'experiences' are all linked up. people with diagnosed schizo-thisthattheother are going to have mood problems too if their life is effected badly by whatever they are going through...

and i agree with you about them being overly concerned about the 'psychotic' bit and not being bothered if you're ""just depressed."" It seems that if you're "just depressed" there's less chance of you committing suicide rather than if you're hearing a voice telling you to, oh yes, that's completely out of the ordinary, you are really very very very sick now, because that voice means you are very very very sick because normal people don't hear voices and it means you're in control of something that we have to control but if you're "just depressed" it means you are less likely to jump or kill yourself