Zombie Tupac and Nate Dogg to rise from the dead at Coachella Festival!

ONE of the best ways to maximise the money you make from your music is to die. John Lennon, Elvis and Janis Joplin all sold a million more records as soon as they snuffed the lid. Of course, it didn’t work out that way for Scatman John, but there’s always exceptions to a rule.

Another of entertainment’s hardest working corpses is Tupac, who despite being almost entirely devoid of talent, managed to become a poster boy for white, middle class kids who like straight peaked caps, all typing ‘THUG LIFE’ and #SWAG on each other’s social media networks.

So hard working is ‘Pac’s cadaver, that it’ll be making an appearance, alongside Nate Dogg at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in California this weekend. And supreme musical voodoo spirit riser, Dr Dre, will be rattling his beats and bringing Tupac Shakur and Nate Dogg on-stage with him via hologram.

A source told KROQ Radio that 2Pac will appear during Dre’s performance of ‘California Love’ and Nate will be reanimated when Dre wheels out ‘The Next Episode’. On top of that, the barely alive Eminem is rumoured to be joined Dre, as well as Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa and Warren G.

Of course, Warren G and Nate Dogg’s excellent ‘Regulate’ has been the subject of many humorous faux-academic essays (including likening Warren G to an ibis, and another essay which points out how Nate Dogg is rock-solid and Warren is a massive bitch), but nothing compares to the simple, zen majesty of the twitter account which holds the Nate Dogg name, simply stating “I’m talking to my African wife”.

And now, he’ll be appearing as part of Dr Dre’s living dead show at Coachella!

Image: Tupac Shakur spits in the direction of reporters as he leaves state Supreme Court in New York July 5, 1994.