Monthly Archives: December 2011

I cannot stop smiling. I know the hour is late and I should be in bed if I’m supposed to perform tomorrow the way that the business demands. The things I have to do are very taxing, and I don’t mean that in a self-congratulatory way. Technically speaking, anyone can do it, but for those who know me well, they know I really am not being an egotist when I say that it just takes a special drive to give the kind of performance this job demands. I mean its taxing. Anyone who’s done it before knows it. It is never easy. And you can lose the people’s confidence in just a single second and next thing you know you’re rolling around in your own, and possibly your colleague’s shit, in a manner of speaking.

But I just saw this documentary, and right now, in that state you are in after you see or experience something that touches you, I cannot stop smiling – I loved it. I may be able to come up with a more nuanced, far more constructive review of the movie and the subject, but for now, I feel the need to let out this raw, fundamental reaction. It had most of all of my favorite comedians, some I had only heard of, and some I had seen but whose names I hadn’t known, and they were all just delightful.

I don’t remember when I first heard the joke. Or when first I read it. Or when I first saw it being told. I do remember I thought it was a hoot. I didn’t shit my pants laughing, but I was told the tame version. And the movie. Well, The Aristocrats is the dirtiest thing you can ever see if you have an imagination. It doesn’t have any violence, and there are no nude people. But boy, if you thought you had a stomach for the rough stuff, this is it. The dirtiest, sickest joke ever created, told by arguably the funniest people in show business. And it’s not the versions you heard on TV or the ones that your friends ever told you, because unless you have that weird understanding these men and women had between them, none of your friends would ever think about making up a version that will not be allowed on TV.

I can personally think of two, maybe three people I can make one up for and tell it to. I wouldn’t dare with anyone else. And I am a little ashamed of that. I long for the day when I can let one rip right here on the WWW, where eventually, boredom will bring all of my acquaintances and friends over, over a long, long period of time, and then I wouldn’t give an incestuous family about what people thought of it.

I have mentioned recently, I have rediscovered my love of comedy, and if there was anything left that could drive me further into that beautiful, beautiful pit, it would have been this. I will not deign to tell the joke as told by someone else. I swear I will only tell it if I ever have the guts to make one up. And I won’t give the outline because if you haven’t already heard a version of it, you need to Youtube it. Do not Google it and read about it, because that would just be adding to the sins here. And you need to find a video that has something along the lines of “Broke my penis laughing at this” as description, within the search results you get. I recommend Bob Saget though I’m not such a huge fan of the guy. Also, he was one of the worst/best in the movie, so it may not be good for some folks. The Sarah Silverman one is also very good.

It is recommended. So recommended. So highly.

That’s all. I’m going to try and go to sleep.

– Billy

P.S. – for those who may know of this – yes, I found out about the movie in the most obvious manner if one considers my recent posts. Guilty as charged.

Isn’t it sad/ strange that no matter how hard you try you can never find proper reasons for what you feel about things until you spend too much time researching it, or looking into it, or thinking about it.

For example, at age 13 or 14, the main reason I stopped going to church, before I read enough and learnt enough, was simply that I was bored beyond belief with sitting in Church. I didn’t want to wake up early on my one free day and go do something that I did not feel the need for. There were a few priests who would give interesting sermons that wasn’t full of scripture, but largely, it was dull crap, told in very bad grammar because the priests were generally newly converted transfers from somewhere in nowhere. I don’t want to sound snooty but if I am to wake up on a Sunday and go somewhere, whatever’s happening there better be interesting and well-spoken. And once the two priests who were sort of good at talking left the church my mother was taking us to, I really got bored. It was only much later that I came up with proper reasons like God Doesn’t Care or God Doesn’t Exist. And even today,I would actually still go to church only to make my mother happy (we’d both know it wasn’t sincere but she’s still prefer that), if only it wasn’t so boring.

Moving on, I was talking about how I feel or believe things first and then see if they can be justified. If they are, I start thinking it instead of believing, which is far more fun. If not, I stop believing. I really believed John Lennon was akin to a messiah/mahatma type figure before I realized he wasn’t. Damn reading – never leaves you believing.

Anyway, I was watching Jon Stewart on Youtube (again) before I finally understood why I adore him. Firstly, he is surprisingly smart, and very cute. Second, that stuff I was talking about in the last post, about hype being created about a lot of stuff that doesn’t really matter, eventually that’s what he was talking about – misinformed public. About people just joining in a protest with no knowledge of what the hell they’re doing. I hate to sound like I’m quoting people I dislike, but it’s way too much like cows being herded. I would have no problem with the entire population of this country joining in the lasher’s protest if they KNEW what they were protesting for. Right now, I can give an educated guess that less than ten percent of the people who are so keen to join in actually knew what the Lokpal Bill said, what the Jan Lokpal Bill said, and why they prefer the latter. Then it would be possible to have a debate, or an intelligent conversation about it. Right now, it’s just all of them screaming without any basis.

Stewart simply speaks against the basis on which so many people decide to belong to one side or the other on an issue. I’m generally of the opinion that the media has to be appreciated in many ways. It is important to have a free press. But the way in which it has reported on this thing is a little blasé. I’m not asking for editorializing on everything, but isn’t the reason people study journalism so that you can do research beyond what someone is saying and looking like? All I’ve read is ‘This I what Team Anna says’ and ‘This is what the Government says’, and even worse ‘Anna seen tearing up’ or ‘Anna beats Katrina’ (that last one was about him getting more Google searches. I was initially scared he’d recommended lashing her too. And it’s a scary situation when people want to know more about this from the internet of all places than they want to masturbate).

No effort is made by the media to confirm either of these opinions, to base them on facts, i.e. look at the Lokpal Bill, the Jan Lokpal Bill, assessing how they’re working in different states, finding out for themselves about the CBI, NGOs, different classes of employees, and most importantly, since this protest is all about the common man, how much it would actually help the common man? I have my own opinions on the latter, but I wouldn’t mind at all if it were disproved by facts – not by the collective anger of the masses, and not by beliefs, but facts. Edward R. Murrow practiced a more responsible journalism on the basis that if digging a little deeper than just the surface in order to bring the truth to light is editorializing, then so be it. Only Murrow did it responsibly – actually bothering to go places and find facts instead of sensationalizing the smallest things to fill up the time slots. Stewart says it over and over – the media is not going to give you any of the important information you need before you make up your mind. Just go to the source, understand it, and then take your stance so you can defend it properly.

And while I can understand how someone with an empty stomach and a family to feed can only express anger at how a government has failed him, the people using Google are not hungry, angry people. These days I don’t like to endorse most of my dad’s quips, but they’re just rebels looking for a cause. And while they are allowed to be silly in this way if they want – the gift of freedom of expression – it is ridiculous that the Parliament or the Government should feel threatened or blackmailed simply because of the numbers, when most of the ‘numbers’ don’t have a clue.

In the end, what with BJP endorsements and the strange appeal an old vegetarian teetotaler seems to have for the youth, and all that goes with it, this whole movement just seems like an easy piece of meat for the media and for people who like to shout, to sink their teeth into, ignoring almost everything else. You really don’t have to do much work when you simply stick to holding debates that cover the same points day after day, do you? Laziness.

Now that I think about it, that’s probably what I’m doing too, although I’m a blogger with very little attention and zero responsibility. I can say Gandhi was gay and I still don’t have to defend it. Regardless, I will try my utmost to write about something else next time.

Have spent the entire day looking over newspaper clippings and clippings and clippings about the bloody Lokpal bullshit from the last 2 months. I may be displaying my ignorance and simple-mindedness when I say that at this point, I don’t see what the fuss is about. Then again, I may just be brain dead right now.

Why would I write in this state? Because if I don’t do it now, I wont do it later. I’m very poignant at this moment, eh?

Seriously, whenever I see something that catches the attention of the media for this long, I eventually reach this point. There doesn’t seem to be a point. I mean I’m all for anti-corruption and what not, but I have lived in Delhi for 18 years, 7 of them with a passable brain, and while I appreciate the effort here, I really don’t think one law is going to do the job.

I have never seen a single law ever having any phenomenal effect, especially if it’s a law governing the government, especially the Executive. All this aam-aadmi stuff is nice PR but seriously, how much of it is going to make a difference to the aam-aadmi. Don’t tell me people are going to start complaining to the authorities under the Act, if it’s ever passed, as soon as some off-white shirt wearing government official seems to be reluctant about getting off the old gluteus maximus unless there is sufficient reward.

I don’t know what Anna wants in life, maybe by some weird twist of the space time continuum he is someone who’s on TV and not an asshole at the same time, (though I highly doubt it – anyone who gets misty eyed over the ‘atmosphere’ or ‘energy’ of some place with sufficient numbers of the press around to record that fact is at least a bit suspect) but I happen to agree with Celine here. The only people who actually make a difference to people’s lives are those who do something small but utterly meaningful and helpful without the attention of the media or the internet. Anyone who actually gives two shits, enough to want to do something, would hardly ever have the ego or the ambition to want power or even influence as is the case with this guy.

Don’t get me wrong, I get the point of a gay pride parade or a rally about providing contraception, or healthcare, or education. That is likely to effect the lives of people in a substantial manner, at least more so than this. But such a huge circus about a law regarding the functioning of a body of the government…. I appreciate the effort, I do, but if I had the time, I wouldn’t devote it to this. In my very amateur, pretentious, probably-not-worth-a-jhaat opinion, if I really wanted to help someone, I could get a B.Ed. of some sort, go to a village somewhere and talk myself hoarse till I get parents to send their kids to my class where I’d teach them the Rs and disillusion them about the BS of the universe. But I won’t because I’ll admit that I don’t care that much, and I don’t like kids.

That’s about all.

BTW, what is it with men and odor? Sometimes I walk to the men’s compartment in the Metro because the doors are closer to the stairs in the station, and there is ALWAYS a bad BO smell there. It couldn’t be a poor people thing. Poor women travel in the metro too, and the ladies compartment doesn’t smell like that unless its packed like cattle carts. So men, if you think nobody will notice when you’re not bathing, just remember – drops in the ocean.

On this day, the narrator decided to take a different route to work. This decision was based on this day being one of the few when the imposing boss-man is not in town and also, that this route afforded the narrator more time in which she could watch stuff on the laptop while in the Metro, since she has recently found herself in the unprecedented and astounding position where she is too tired after work, and is falling behind on her TV. While the first part of the Metro ride was indeed satisfying in that the latter mission was successful; due to increased population, and the terrible time that is 8 o clock to 10 o clock in the morning, the latter part of the narrator’s journey in the city’s widely successful Metro was not conducive to seating or laptop… placing on lap and watching funny stuff. However, reading of The World According To Garp was caught up on by our pioneering, adventurous and brave narrator during this time, which is not time wasted, if it pleaseth thee.

However, if bravery be a state of mind, then upon embarking from the comfort of the foremost cabin of the illustrious Metro, onto the exterior of the Kalkaji Mandir Station, our narrator was lacking in bravery since her endless learning had not prepared her to know which path to take in order to arrive at the Main Road; from whence she would journey on in one of the latest Buses that the City provided upon which the denizens of Delhi have endeavored mightily to leave their marks through modern art in many forms – arrangement of crushed peanut shells, patterned dried heavings of the Delhi belly, as well as through the post modern olfactory formulations of increased, compounded Odors By The Masses. Another reason for this uncharacteristic dearth in valor was one that that is the subject of the day’s musings.

On emerging from the Station, the wrong path was erroneously chosen by the narrator, leading her not to the destination she was seeking, but to the wide gates of the Temple for which the Station was named. In light of the musical haven provided by Willie Nelson singing “The Little Dealer Boy”, which our narrator was grinning upon, it is not unpardonable that this mistake was not corrected at a sooner stage. Upon beholding the sight of the temple gates, through which, it was indeed a sight to hark upon – young men garbed in the Delhi fashion of bright, chintz-esque-ness removing their footwear to enter upon them hallowed grounds. Our narrator felt fear take hold of her heart in a vice-like grip for a split second. She had unknowingly wandered upon a sight wherein just the past morrow, there had been conducted rituals of a pandering and ‘spiritual’ nature, that is to say, if it pleaseth thee, a conclave of ‘spiritual’ leaders of the pagan culture or religion of ‘Hinduism’ had gathered and had been bestowed much attention and admiration by their ardent followers. Our narrator was not certain as to why such fear gripped her, even for a second, but adhering to the urges her flight-flight-don’t-even-think-about-staying-let-alone-fighting response was making on her person, she turned tail, and with all the dignified speed becoming such an experienced and graceful personage as our narrator, glided away.

She walked down the road, away from where her valiance and spirit had faced such challenges and soon realized that mistakes in taking the correct path had been committed yet again. Opportunities were presented to her to seek counsel from various men who were also travelling along the same path; however, for some reason, a reason she was slowly beginning to comprehend, she desisted to ask them, most particularly a man garbed in Denims and a sweater that was near the color of the sky at sun-down. Upon admitting the nature of her predicament, she sought the counsel of a wizened, elderly man seated upon a mat by the road, upon whose features it was written clearly that his humble abode consisted of that very mat. The kind gentleman assisted our regaling narrator by pointing his wise finger towards the direction and path which would lead her to her destination. Grateful beyond compare, our narrator thanked the man and went along the path that was directed to her, which the future has confirmed, was the right path.

As our narrator forged along the path, she was quick to note with her lightning sharp mind that firstly, the path towards the Bus-Stop was of a greater length than what she had anticipated; and further that the thrift shops selling religious artifacts that sprung around the grounds upon which she had just previously chanced upon, were present in great numbers. But it was upon noting that there were some men ambling alongside the road which she took, who had the red marks upon their foreheads characteristic of pilgrims and followers of the Hindu gods, that our narrator stumbled metaphorically upon the knowledge which perplexed and saddened her greatly.

She feared the fellowship that was the religious peoples who followed the Hindu gods. She did not fear individuals following the faith. Not even groups. She merely feared collectives of such people, whom she was not acquainted with personally, around their Temple of worship. Being of only one and twenty years, in which she had not seen not felt the brutality waged upon reason by the armies of fear and stereotype, the knowledge of such a deadly force existing within her person was startling to the narrator. There was no reason, no thought, no basis for this fear that choked her of her common-sense. She did not fear the gods, she did not fear the people, yet she feared them when they were one, even if it was only for a moment.

With the self-awareness that years of adolescent and post-adolescent watching of television had bestowed upon her, she noted that she was unafraid and unconscious of the few ladies amongst this collective. This too was curious. She did not fear the men for her virtue, no; she feared for nothing that could be described. She feared. Such pure and unadulterated, although not paralyzing fear, that any reason or subject would only weaken the mix. And thus, our narrator, who being of young years, and having been raised in a tradition of unawareness of such ideas, for the first time faced the creature called prejudice. It gave the deluge of benignity, but our narrator was not fooled. It walked alongside her in the few moments before which reason collected itself.

On realizing the nature of her predicament, the narrator was ashamed, at the same time, could only be comforted at the thought that at the least she had experienced the creature with regard to a group that could defend itself mightily under the majesty of its prominence in the country. For some moments, she fancied herself Michael Moore, who in his testaments in Dude Where’s My Country? had remarked merrily upon his fear of the Caucasian race as they passed him by in the streets. However, upon this day, the narrator vows to attempt to rid herself of her fears of men on their way out of temples.

I apologize in advance to people who don’t want to hear a rambling rant.

I’ve had fucking enough of this religion bullshit. I may be taking The God Delusion too far, but seriously, the utter fuckery that takes place because of god-damned faith is too much. Maybe it’s because I watch the news a bit more and read the newspaper more regularly, but how, HOW is it possible that people who have been doing that for longer than me don’t want to choke almost everyone you see?

Just finished reading the latest Outlook. There was an article about some random ass ritual in a fucked up obscure temple in Karnataka (BTW what is with that State? I loved Bangalore for the limited time I spent there, but everything else in that State seems like the worst parts of ‘Indian culture’ on crack). The Brahmins eat their fill and then the dalits roll around in their spittoon-like leftovers on the floor. It’s called maade snana. Apparently when an NGO worker tried to ask questions he was beat up. By dalits. And the fucked up ass-faces got congratulated by their bloody Brahmin priest, who I suspect did not let their shadows touch him as he said some religious crap, probably along the lines of ‘You still were dog-poop in your past life, but now, you can be a dog in your next life instead of elephant poop.’ And I know that’s not exactly how the mythology goes, but that doesn’t mean this particular version of rationale for casteism is any worse than the ‘real one’.

And it is one thing for the assholes at VHP and Co. to not say anything, probably (let’s face it) because they don’t see anything wrong with it. After all, if the dalits are dumb enough to take a dip in waste left over by the bastard Brahmins, they’re probably too stupid to vote, right? So why bother? Of course, the I-Can’t-Make-Up-My-Mind-About-Anything Congress decides to say they don’t want to hurt sentiments. Well, fuck you too. If there’s one this as unbelievably shitty as a collective irrational belief in weird-ass and degrading shit like this, by the degraders and the degraded, it’s the stupidity in ignoring it for the sake of sentiments.

Whoever asked ‘Why reason?’ – THIS is why, motherfucker. When you have people doing stuff like volunteering for rolling around in other people’s spittle, jumping into fires, cutting off their sexual organs, and committing murder-suicides, if you don’t see the need for reason, you’re a freak of nature who needs to be locked up. And possibly have all that shit done to you. You’re already a raving lunatic, more torture won’t have any overly damaging effects, right? And no, I don’t really mean that last bit. I’m ranting.

Then there was Jon Stewart coming out and declaring war on Christmas last week. Funny as shit. And more power to you man. Every day I see more reason for the American version of secularism. People really need to start hiding their religion like homosexuals had to hide their homosexuality. And they had no reason to be ashamed. Religious people really need to be a bit sorry for being gullible if nothing more. But my point is, after that, the ass-faced bigot who has caused me to challenge my previously held belief that I could at least listen to the bakwaas spewed by a Class-A twerp, i.e. Bill O’Reilly, commented on said declaration of war by saying, “Now, there is no question that Mr. Stewart is going to hell.”

And while that stuff said with such ardent belief was funnier than Jon Stewart could ever hope to be, and I still giggle at Stewart’s reaction, it’s still such fucked-up tosh. Yeah, people should be allowed to say whatever they want and believe whatever they want, even if its mentally deranged. But torture and spit bathing is not something should be allowed to do based on belief. And even if they are, the freedom of speech goes both ways buddy. I should be able to say that the Brahmins here are assholes, the Dalits are gullible idiots, the BJP and Congress are scramble brained ’fraidy cats and Bill O’Reilly will always retain his smug, self-important pee-brain that will provide endless ire and amusement to normal-brained people everywhere. But I won’t because if I do, I’d offend too many people.

BTW, Colbert made 2 guys dressed as Santa kiss on his show. Brilliance!

And then the Ramdev shit. Yeah, it looks like the Congress really fucked up there. The least they could have done when trying to take away someone’s free speech (which in this case was used for what prima facie looks like mindless argle-bargle), is not leave a paper trail about how that was exactly their plan. And by paper trail, I mean newspaper trail. I am no supporter of the yoga dude. The whole seeing people’s heart beating thing freaks me out. And it’s one thing to say ‘I don’t like what you’re doing’ in a protest and offering suggestions, and quite another to say, ‘Do what I say, even though I have no expertise on the concerned subject or I will fast unto death, and convince my minions to also commit slow mass-suicide.’ Kool-Aid, anyone? (I may be a bit too into finding out about serial killers and the like.) And the guy’s an idiot for his personal actions. I repeat myself when I say, why didn’t you just sit there and refuse to budge instead of making a clown out of yourself? Sad that what seems like the only good idea Gandhi had is adapted sufficiently into the public consciousness of people everywhere but in India.

And WHAT THE FUCK is up with this censorship bullshit? I really don’t like what the BJP gets up to when it gets in office, but someone needs to tell the Congress that in order maintain a façade of mediocrity in a country where there’s BJP on the one end and CPI on the other, and mediocrity seems to be the selling card of the Congress for a long time, they need to stop prancing around getting scared of everything written about them. The BJP had much worse shit written about them (with good reason) and all they did about it was say, ‘You lie!’ rather unconvincingly. If you have a basis for doing the stuff you do, then drum-roll and speak. If you don’t, be like politicians and say that you did not have sex with that woman. Don’t try to get people to shut up. The internet has too many loopholes for that to actually work.

I mean come on! Before this, you only had sections of middle and lower class up in arms about stuff that the rich and the upper middle class couldn’t really care less about. But now you have to go and alienate possibly the only demographic left to you – i.e. the sort of tolerant, upper middle class and rich young folk who need the internet to breathe, by taking away one of the few things they care about- pornography. Get your act together, or you will force them to actually get off their asses come election day and, having no other options, vote for the CPI. Which may not be a very bad thing, but they do have some fucked-up tendencies also. But then again, which one of you assholes don’t?

Anyway, that’s about all. Wow, I’m so pretentious right now. I would not post this but i spent about half an hour on it, so waste not.

Read title. I’m going to try and make the infinite number of segues here sort of blend in. Bear with me.

First, I just finished reading Richard Dawkins’ “The God Delusion”. I can’t really say I’m a staunch atheist in the way most people say it. Let me put it this way – I don’t think it is at all true that God exists, but I like to think about one as if it exists. But that aside, the book surpasses the high expectations I had of it. The sheer logic with which the guy takes away any and all of our assumptions about the guy in the sky is pretty awesome. It would take a special kind of pig-headedness for someone to read it and not have to think about some of the stuff they’ve believed. I’m not saying lose faith, but at least have doubts.

Belief is crap, but thinking is good. ‘Dogma’ (underrated Affleck-Damon flick) got that one right, (although there was some unbelievable stuff about the Christian god being fair) – Don’t believe, just have a good idea about stuff. Then you won’t feel the need to take lives, cut off clitorises, stone people, ‘convert’ homosexuals, set fire to widows….

And speaking of books (anyone noticing the smooth segue? And yes, I did just find out how to spell that word), I went to Daryaganj this Sunday. Found “The World According To Garp” for TWENTY BUCKS. That’s right. Twenty bucks. And its turning out to be really good. Also, one of the reasons I love it when people appreciate the places in Delhi I take them to – I get to see how awesome the city can be all over again. I know, you can wax eloquent about how a lot of delhiites are dumb, blah blah; but speaking as someone who just spent a night out with a group of Punjabi and Assamese people (yes, together), I defy you to find people elsewhere who are so accepting of fun at such gargantuan proportions, while still being smart. And despite such fun, this city has history coming out of its buttocks (Word refused to accept ‘butt’ – but here, weirdly, it does…) if you look for it, and places to hang out other than South Delhi, like Hauz Khas Fort. I have been telling people about that place since 1st year, but it is only now, at the behest of others, that its awesomeness has been acknowledged. In the spirit of Khushwant Singh, this city isn’t appealing at first, but the moment it spots your weakness, it makes you its bitch and never lets you go.

So I’m reading Irving now, but before that I finished Thud! By Terry Pratchett who is an unsung genius. I know, people know him enough, but I really think he’s underrated. And I bring up Thud! because it’s a City Watch book and there was a very interesting scene where they stop a riot from happening between two cultural groups by getting them both drunk. It’s weird how there’s always a cycle going on from things you read or saw in TV to things that actually happened and back on to things you read or watch. I’ve seen a lot of the coverage on the Occupy Wall Street Movement and also have been reading about the Ramdev incident from last summer – the latter for the internship (BTW – yeah, that case is fuck interesting – I like going to the Supreme Court for the first time). Got me thinking about Gandhi.

I personally have mixed feelings about the guy. I don’t like most of the personal morals he espoused. They’re too interfering. And basing any movement even a tiny bit on a religion, even if it started out with good intentions, is bound to go off track at some point. But what a lot of people forget was that he was a lawyer, and just to look at the whole idea of non-violent protest from a lawyers perspective, and even a political perspective – it is genius. And I don’t mean that in the fighting-is-bad-passivism-is-based-on-strength way.

Think about it, non-violent protest of the kind Gandhi organized got so much attention because of the fact that when two sides fight, eventually both of them will do something they will regret later. In a political/public arena as well as a Court of law, there would be too many doubts raised from both sides. And while you can win in Court, it will be by a margin, with criticisms; and you can definitely never win in the media circus. But if you appear to be as innocent as the pure driven snow, if you don’t raise a finger while people beat on you in a public arena, politically and legally, you have it made as soon as its on record. I mean, I’m supposed to be thinking from one perspective as far as the whole Ramdev thing is concerned, but because the guy decided to do weird stuff like get women to create a barricade around him instead of just being zen, you can’t defend him without taking valid considerations from the other side.

On the other hand, with footage of protests I’ve seen of the Occupy movement in the U.S., especially one where students are just sitting in rows and not making a move other than screaming with pain, while policemen bathe them in pepper spray, is it possible for you to take the police’s side without reasonably being accused of also eating babies? Which is why, I recommend passivism in social movements. Not because it’s the right thing to do and not because it’s the cowards way out, but because it is logically and legally, the best thing you can do towards garnering support, getting attention, and screwing over whatever authority you’re defying.

On another note, the reason I am finding the news interesting again is all thanks to Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. I discovered them in the middle of last semester, and I kept quiet about them because I had thought that like all of my fads, they would wither away, or disappoint me. Not yet. I remember the first time I watched the White House Correspondents Dinner with Colbert. I swear to god, I did not know what to think for a while. I have never seen anybody be so obviously rude to the leader of a nation, and I have never loved such blatant honesty before. This whole experience has given me a new appreciation for comedy – Tina Fey, Steve Carell, Russel Peters, the endless number of sitcoms I watch. How genius is it to be able to bring something to the table that would make people laugh. I agree with Colbert (the real one) on that – it is physiologically impossible to really laugh and be afraid at the same time. It’s not possible to be negative while you’re laughing.

And now that I have declared my love for Jon and Stephen in a forum where technically, anyone can read it, I will also say that if and when the dirt comes out on either of these people, I would be even more lost than I was when I finally found out that Muhammad Ali and John Lennon were not perfect people, and I was 13 and a lot more wet behind the ears when that happened. Although, with an optimistic bent of mind, I will say that comedians almost never have shit about them. If they did, they’d use it for jokes. Or survive it either way because they’re able to live unconventionally to the point of public discomfort. Like Woody Allen.

And last, but far from least, Nikkie died. I missed her a lot, especially when I got in the car after work every day and thought about getting through the door. I always started to think about her jumping all over me before remembering that she died. But now, we have Jane Doe, JD for short [And again, please nobody mention namesakes other than those played by Zach Braff] whom I adore utterly. Yes, I still miss Nikkie. Dogs are irreplaceable, but at the same time, the amazing thing about them is that almost every single one of them can inspire so much fuzziness of the heart.