The thoughts and experiences of a person in the BDSM scene

My first munch…

The Wednesday after Dungeon 101, I went to a restaurant in Rockville, Maryland for my first munch.

For those not familiar, a munch is a social gathering in a restaurant or bar or something similar where people go to eat and socialize. If it sounds like something that vanilla (i.e. non-kinky) groups do, it is. People dress in vanilla clothing, many wearing the same clothes that they wore to work. The only way that you would know that the group is kinky is by getting into the conversation. And even that is not necessarily kinky. We talk about anything.

I got to the munch fashionably late. Some folks remembered me from having attended Dungeon 101 the Friday before, and welcomed me in. I found a spot at a table with a group of folks, and introduced myself. When I introduce myself at scene events, I usually give my real first name and my FetLife handle. The others at the table did likewise.

At my first munch, I got to reconnect with a few folks that I met at Dungeon 101, got to know quite a few new people, and got to talk about so many different things – more vanilla topics than kinky topics. I was at ease. And I had a great time. My only complaint is that the restaurant was a little pricier than I would have liked (I am a major cheapskate), but the company and the conversation made it well worth it.

One bit of advice to others going to their first munch is to just be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Munches are great places to make contacts and become friends with like minded individuals. Don’t put on a show and try to impress everyone. Relax and enjoy the ride. For others like me just starting out in the public scene, I highly recommend finding out about and attending a munch in your local area. You will most likely find information about when and where your local munch will be held on FetLife.

On the subject of FetLife, having a picture of yourself on your profile is very helpful. Prior to my first munch, I had a photo that I took of inanimate objects as my profile picture, and I discovered that no one recognized me. When I got home from the munch, I immediately changed my profile picture to a vanilla photo of me. Now fellow kinksters can more easily associate the face they saw at a scene event with the FetLife profile that they see on the computer, and vice versa.