A Juicy Idea, Part II

I hope you’re happy. Now you’ve done it, you’re helping destroy the world. The sad thing is, you’re proud of it. You’ve complained, and complained, and complained, and the powers that be have heard you. They’re pulling the O.J. special. It’s not going to air. Good for you, destroying free speech, nicely done. That’s certainly something to give thanks for this Thursday. You’re going to go around the table with your family, everyone will say what they’re thankful for, and your answer is going to be, “Through making my upset at a television program known, a television program that no one was forcing me to watch or pay any attention to in any way whatsoever, I convinced the FOX Network not to air the O.J. special. Oh, yeah, and burning books, I’m thankful that I’ve helped burn books.”

Way to go, nice to know that the First Amendment to our Constitution means absolutely nothing to you. Heck, if you personally don’t like something, it shouldn’t exist, right? Well, you’ve won. The show won’t air and all the books will be destroyed. Go you, way to pulp our freedom.

If you don’t want to watch something, don’t watch it. No one is holding a gun to your head forcing you to watch a show you don’t want to, read a book you don’t want to, listen to a news report you don’t want to. How dare you stop others from having the freedom to listen or read or watch what they want? How is that possibly hurting you?

But at least I can take some solace in the fact that you read the book before demanding its recall, that you watched the whole special instead of just seeing a commercial for it. Right? You at least performed some sort of due diligence before foaming at the mouth.

Oh. Wait. You didn’t read the book? You didn’t watch the show? The very idea that it existed without your knowing the specific content was enough for you to decide that it was wrong? Wow, you’re far smarter, far more intelligent than I. I need to actually see things before I pass judgment.

And, to top it all off – and you can argue with me all you want on this – guess what, O.J. wasn’t convicted of murder. All your complaints surrounding this TV show and book are that you don’t want to listen to a murderer talk about how he “hypothetically” would have done it had he done it. Whether or not you think the trial was a disgrace, whether or not you think O.J. bought his freedom, whether or not you think the prosecutors blew it, that the police botched the investigation, that O.J. is guilty as sin, the fact remains that he was declared not guilty by a jury of his peers.

I guess that doesn’t matter to you. I guess all that matters to you is your perception of what took place instead of the reality of it. Oh sure, you’re an expert at what happened. Have you read the transcript of the trial? Were you there in the courtroom the whole time? Or, perhaps, did you just read up on it, just see the five second news clips every night? Did you just memorize the slogans? Is that what qualifies you to make the judgment as to his guilt or innocence better than the men and women on that jury? Heck, the court of public opinion says he did it, he must have done it.

Last week I explained to you the great sort of television this special would’ve made. And, I had some fun with the idea of the special, and what O.J. might say in it, and how incredible and grotesque the whole thing could be. And, I was right. It would have been incredible and it would have been grotesque. It may have even been disgusting and horrific. It may have made you physically ill. For this last thing I’m sorry, I certainly don’t wish that upon you, but all I can do is reiterate my earlier sentiment — if you don’t want to watch it, don’t watch it, but how dare you throw up your arms and shout at the top of your lungs that it shouldn’t be aired? How dare you take it upon yourself to deny his First Amendment, and FOX’s First Amendment rights?

Thanks Big Brother, you’ve done the world a great service by destroying the principles we as a people used to believe in. As long as you’re so hard at work this holiday season how about you next go out and deny some people the right to vote? After all, they might disagree with you, they might hold a different opinion than yours, and we all know that anyone whose view of the world differs from your own should be denied the right to speak.

Like a great man once said, try reading books instead of burning them.

About Josh Lasser

Josh has deftly segued from a life of being pre-med to film school to television production to writing about the media in general. And by 'deftly' he means with agonizing second thoughts and the formation of an ulcer.