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Monday, April 12, 2010

Monday, April 12, 2010

It probably started innocently enough.

"Hey, let's add a little stuffed rattle to this design, as a free bonus!'"

"We all know how much babies like cake!"

Now, despite the fact that this design requires no decorating skills whatsoever, it does have the fatal flaw of being a cupcake cake. [hawww ptooiee!] Which means, more often than not, you're going to get something like this instead:

"What the heck is it?"

"Who cares? Look, a free baby rattle!'

So, they nixed the CCCs and started putting the little stuffed toys on mini-cakes:

The vicious Venus Monkey Trapcake snares another victim.

Then they really started to mess with us.

1) Just how big is this cake?

2) Conversely, how tiny is that stuffed lamb?

3) Whichever it is, did the Wreckerator really think that lamb effectively "filled the space?"

4) Why put a baby's stuffed animal on an engagement cake, anyway? It has nothing do to with the design! It's like the cake was being wheeled past and the little guy just hopped on Bruce Willis style, riding it out to freedom while the building exploded around him.(Ok, that last bit could be wishful thinking on my part.)

Of course, just when you think a little stuffed lamb might be appropriate, like on a baby shower cake, they go and do this:

That is solid icing, y'all. "Suprise!" indeed.

(Yes, I know "suprise" is spelled wrong.)

But getting back to the stuffed animals: like goldfish, these things are growing to fill their containers:

Sensible? Sanitary? Sane?

Good questions, all.

But perhaps the most important question of all is: When future generations look back on the day the "fake fur fiber fad" began, will this be one of Wikipedia's illustrations?

"With its high levels of sugar, fat, and 'colon-cleansing synthetic fiber', the Plush & Flush Diet soon became an overnight sensation in the U.S."

Bill B., Caryn C., Becky, Lisa Z., Kristen F., Allie C., & Emily B., more on point (ballerina pun ftw!), when do they start plopping Xbox 360's on these things, with little icing borders? "That'll be $467.39, please. Oh, and if you want games, then you have to buy the cupcakes separate."

I... Why? The stuffed animal would have to be washed to get all the icing off before you could play with it. And they're never the same after a cycle in the washer and dryer--the fur gets all matted and blah. Give me a cake and a stuffed animal BESIDE it...

WV: reavise. "You didn't listen the first time, so I will reavise you to NOT PUT SOFT TOYS ON A CAKE"

The tiny lamb cake is a baby shower kit. It is possible that those are the parents names. If it's on a full sheet cake, it could look that small. nevertheless, the wreckerator could have done a better job filling the excess space.

Also, major ew that they put the fuzzy bears on the cake. We NEVER do that at my store. (Yeah, I'm a store decorator but I'm proud to say this blog has made me better...fear perhaps?) The bears come with plastic trays for them to sit on but when you put the lid on the cake and force them to fall over, what's the freaking point?!?

I've been keeping on eye on my local Safeway. They've started selling CCC's. None of them have been wrecks yet (mostly just imitating sheet cakes), but someday there'll be something hideous in there and I'll have my camera at the ready.

That last one could be titled "Funeral for a Bear". I can't imagine trying to clean the icing out of animal plush, or being the least bit tempted to eat the piece of cake upon which the fuzzy thing rested!

Some of your postings are funny; some just leave you scratching your head. I just don't get it - why would anyone put a stuffed animal on a cake? Wouldn't the fur get into everything, not to mention washing the icing out of the animal? Or maybe, since baby's put everything into their mouths anyway, this is a like one of those dog toys that you put treats in. It will keep the child busy for a long time sucking the icing off while the parents contemplate how did their lives come to this - the highlight of the weekend is a baby's birthday party.

The stuffed animal cakes are a little like the "live fish" cakes. Just wrong on several levels. I'm afraid of what "cake decorating kit" suppliers will come up with next. I tried to think of something really clever to say here, but came up with big, fat nothing.

Oh, and people need to lighten up and "get the joke." We all know what the cakes are "supposed" to look like. That's what makes them wrecks. See?

All the plastic accessories in the world cannot help that second "cake" to look like a bear! And I just love the last cake...when in doubt drop a big ol' teddy bear on it. You won't have any trouble getting frosting out of the fur!

The cake with the little lambie is perhaps both an engagement cake---and an explanation for the engagement. "yes, well...we have a, ah, tiny lamkins ah, in the oven." Clearly first timers; NEVER take home a THROAT-SIZED toy.

WV: dogg. Is that big icing creature really a frightened lamb or just a stunned poodle dogg?

This site is affecting my brain. I was decorating a cake the other day. The instructions were "Please write "Congratulations XXXX on 20 years of service, call XXX-XXXX if you have questions." I really really wanted to put the phone number on the cake!Susan

You beat me to it! I have a picture on my phone of a stuffed animal on a cake that I took the other day in Walmart up here in Ontario. Even my 3yo son can't figure it out. (but mommy...we can't EAT the toy, why is it there?)

No, there just isn't one. We decided a couple months back that we needed a day of recovery from posting and we chose Saturday because it was the lowest traffic. We actually still feel like we're slacking but Jen's eye twitch has cleared up I no longer have the nightmares so there's that.

Jen said:"... like goldfish, these things are growing to fill their containers."

I know your point wasn't really even about goldfish, but I can't let this go without refuting it. The myth that goldfish (or any fish) will "only grow to the size of their containers" has caused untold suffering for fish, because it convinces people that they can keep goldfish in a one-gallon (or even smaller) bowl. An adult goldfish is about a foot long, and the only way it stops growing before that size is if it dies, from being crammed into a tiny container, before the fish has a chance to get big. The normal lifespan of a goldfish is twenty years or more, but in bowls, most only live for a few weeks or months.

If it's on a full sheet cake, it could look that small. nevertheless, the wreckerator could have done a better job filling the excess space. Also, the first cake, while requiring no decorating skill whatsoever, is still missing one ear.

The really funny thing for me is that the Ballerina cake has a stuffed animal on it that my mom and i sell for fund raising (we donate all proceeds to the CFF so we can find a cure for Cystic Fibrosis). it might not be the same, but it sure looks like it! see for yourself: http://www.plushland.com/detail.aspx?ID=374

Not only does this trend disturb me greatly, but they won't even allow donations of stuffed animals at the childrens hospitals because of potential germs etc. You know these toys are not being washed first.... I would also like to know whats up with the piping on the side of the Venus monkeytrap cake? Talk about a lazy way to ice a cake!!!

I tried to go to this site at work today (I'm a teacher), and it was blocked. The reason? "Hate and discrimination." Is it really that wrong to "hate" and discriminate against things that are awful? I think not. :)

Okay. It IS large...for a cake.BUT. What we have here is a failure to communicake. This is actually a CRIB MATTRESS, still in the shipping box, having been just delivered to the expectant couple ("Rosette" and "Tom")--which is why they're being congratulated.Now they get to scrape about 10 pounds of frosting off the thing (eating it is optional), keep the toy for the kid, and go on to live happily ever after.~~The End~~

Oh that last one looks like someone received a dead ballerina bear on their cake. Nice. If I was the kid I would shriek my head off lol. Plus on that lamb cake is it "suprise" you will have no teeth left if you bite into this thing? Spelling must go out with your teeth on that one.

Just like the goldfish growing to fill the space (not really!) that second CCC is like a gas that is expanding to fill the space...the poor little cupcake molecules are losing their coercivity and dissolving into a sheet of entropy!

Our sweet Mr. Bear went to that teddy bear picnic in the sky early Tuesday morning in a tragic bakery accident where he suffocated after falling into a frosted cake. He lead a short life but had recently fell in love and married a loaf of bread he met while working in the bakery. He is survived in death by his wife and two bear claws. Funeral services with be held Thursday morning behind the Wrecky bakery next to the dumpster. Cake to be served after.

The small 'e' on the end of Rosette's name is properly scaled to the toy, if not to the cake.

Someone suggested that 'rosette' was a cakewreck instruction to place a rosette on the cake. I agree and add that possibly "tom" was an instruction to also place a tomb on the cake, for the little rattle.

Also... in ballet it is "pointe". Obviously you haven't paid thousands of dollars each year to have your child take dance lessons.

"... in ballet it is "pointe". Obviously you haven't paid thousands of dollars each year to have your child take dance lessons.*****Punny you should be so picky...Hey, look on the bright side: at least all that spent money is making you a stellar speller!

If you look -really- closely at the sides of the Rosette&Tom cake, it looks like it is a baby shower cake. I can see the plastic strip they stuck to the sides as part of the decoration. I hate those! They never fit right. And now you have plastic to peel off which will pull off all the icing on the sides, too. Why did the toykit-makers have to come up with this idea?

All except for the first cake, this post is spot on. The first one actually got an "awww" out of me. Every cake can't be a decorator's dream and that one would be passable for me for a kids cake if the occasion weren't too special. Maybe a teacher bringing cupcakes to class or something.

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