Town Square

Underage Drinking Halloween Parties this weekend

Original post made
by raven, Amador Valley High School,
on Oct 30, 2008

Halloween Parties by teens this weekend in Pleasanton is a hot topic on the MySpace pages and FaceBook pages today. Chatter such as what parent is buying the alcohol is very scary to me. Pleasanton parents who are either hosting parties for your teens and their friends and will have alcohol there, IT IS ILLEGAL. Despite the social ordinance in Pleasanton, you should think about the teen that sits in prison and her best friend who died because of this issue. You are responsible for your underage teens drinking. If anyone hears of a party or knows of a party where underage teens will attend and there will be alcohol, do the right thing. Don't be a cool parent be a good parent. Keep our kids and community safe.

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Posted by Another Gatetree Resident
a resident of Amador Valley High School
on Oct 30, 2008 at 10:18 am

If this is a hot topic on MySpace and Facebook, how about sharing some links so that concerned parents can review what is being posted and discussed?

In addition, neighbors can be aware and call the Pleasanton PD the minute something surfaces and BEFORE someone is injured or killed.

Posted by No More Sleepless Nights
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Oct 30, 2008 at 10:42 am

That's a great post -- thank you for taking the time to bring it to light. There are few major problems here.

1) Parents are indeed providing booze for high school parties, some with the lame excuse of, ``well, they are going to get it somewhere, I might as well have them at my house where they are not driving.'' That doesn't fly, it only makes the problem worse. There are regular parties in Pleasanton, where there is always booze available, always supplied by the parents, yet amazingly enough, they never get busted. It's usually in the higher end areas of Pleasanton where these parties take place, be it Ruby Hill, Golden Eagle or Laguna Oaks...

2)Parents continually stick their heads in the sand about their precious little children, never thinking they would do anything wrong. The refuse to think their perfect little child would party, so into the sand their heads go.

3) How about these parents who have parties and say, ``There will be no alcohol allowed, but what you do before hand is your own business.'' That's nice, really helpful.

4) The lack of diligence from high school administrators. The senior class at Foothill is out of control this year. There's a house which backs up to the campus where students are permitted by the parents to sneak on and off the campus and even party in their backyard during school. Yet time and time again, campus administrators do nothing about it. They are too concerned about hurting someone's feelings, rather than keeping our kids alive. I am not bashing Foothill, as I hear the same things about Amador Valley. And Village, well, there's a whole other story.

5) How is it, we can find all the parties in town and where the alcohol parites are, yet the Police Department can't figure it out. Amazing. We need the police to step up and step up in a big way. Parents can find things out that the police see to gloss right over.

The bottom line is, we are doing nothing more than counting the days until another tragic accident happens where a drunk teenager is involved driving in a fatal crash. It's not if it's going to happen, but rather when. Be honest, every time you hear a siren on a Friday or Saturday night, doesn't your heart skip beat as you reach for your cell phone, trying to get hold of your son or daughter..

Posted by raven
a resident of Amador Valley High School
on Oct 30, 2008 at 11:19 am

You should go to myspace.com, sign in. If you don't already have an account, join. You can join the forums and go through the threads or be part of the a "friends" group. This is how I keep track of what is going on. If you have kids in the high schools, just ask them, they probably know where the parties are going to be whether or not they are going. There will be some great parties where there won't be underage drinking, and that is great. I just wanted to remind parents and kids that they are responsible for their behavior during this Halloween weekend.

Interesting to point out that the parties are in the "higer end areas". While parties certainly take place it is much easier to tell/know in a gated community. There are only 2 ways in or out.

There was recently a 17th birthday party in Ruby Hill where an "estimated" 800 kids showed up. Police were present, but because they saw no "physical evidence" of alcohol at the residence (they were allowed in to take a look), they simply allowed the gathering to occur. Their justification was that the resident had requested an "all access" at the front gate and there was nothing they could do. When I questioned that upon checking at the house myself, there were several drunk teenage girls that tripped over my feet, I was told, "sorry, but we haven't seen that". I was completely blown away that the Pleasanton Police said they were literally "powerless" to do anything. Maybe the most interesting part of this "party" was that the mom and her friends sat outside at the curb and collected $10 to enter for the Amador kids, and $15 for anyone else. If you take 800 kids at $12 per kid that around $10,000 collected for that party!

My guess is that parties occur in Ruby because no one gets busted.....

I do understand the frustration of thinking parents are buying or making it easy for their kids to get booze, but I also know it is very simple for any kid to get just about anything they want in this town. I would rather have a parent ackowledge that kids are drinking an take action to keep them safe, rather than bury their heads in the sand and say "not my son/daughter", other simply ignore or deny what is taking place and have another tragedy such as the one mentioned above.

Posted by No More Sleepless Nights
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Oct 30, 2008 at 5:11 pm

Party,

Thank you for the insight. I did not mean the parties solely take place in the high end areas, but certainly the bigger ones do. My son was at that party and he told me half the kids there we drunk, but the parents kept taking the money and letting them in. I have also been told this is not the first party those people have had, nor will it be the last.

There are parties every where in the town -- I have heard of no less than four -- and that's not counting the pre-parties, where the kids go to get wasted before moving on to the bigger, ``alcohol free parties''.

While I get frustrated at times with what appears to be a lack of enforcement by the police, I do know many officers who are equally frustrated as they feel their hands are tied. What really gets to me is the brutal lack of respect by teenagers towards the police. When I was in high school, I was terrified by the police, but nowadays, there's no fear, but rather disrespect by many teens.

It is my understanding that Ruby Hill was annexed to Pleasanton, because Pleasanton agreed to provide public services, water, garbage, police, fire etc.... and Livermore would not. Big mistake by Livermore in hindsight?......... Then again I don't know that prices would have escalated like they had nor would the development have taken off if it had a Livermore zipcode.

BTW, interesting enough it looks like the very same household had planned to have a big Halloween party, but it was shut down by the owners association. Maybe they do have some power after all......

Posted by sane parent
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Oct 31, 2008 at 11:12 am

Since "party" knows the person who did this, why not call the IRS and let them know about the $10,000 in taxable income that has not been claimed? Remember that Al Capone was not jailed for other crimes, the Feds got him for tax evasion. Or you could just tell them that next time they get reported and shut down all of their future parties as well. People like that do not deserve to roam free anyhow. With so little common sense or responsibility they need to be locked up for the good of the community. Brains and money seem to be mutually exclusive at Ruby Hills.

Posted by Ruby Resident
a resident of Ruby Hill
on Oct 31, 2008 at 11:51 am

I live in Ruby Hill and on my block there are homes with 8 teenagers and I've never seen or heard a bad party - just parent/team parties that are very quiet. We don't serve alcohol at my house and are very much opposed to it so that's probably why we don't have hoards of kids here all the time although we are perfectly willing to have them hang out here. My kids in college have fessed-up about their past partying and they went to friends' houses in the Mohr area and Birdland. I have a suspicion that things are going on now in the Mohr area but no proof. When the kids always want to go to one friend's house...I think that's a tip-off. The problem is that the hosting parents won't admit serving alcohol to other parents and if you ask them, they say they're not.

The party in Ruby Hill with 800 kids got the neighbors pretty mad so I think that may be over with...

Posted by Susan Sasek
a resident of Ruby Hill
on Oct 31, 2008 at 4:49 pm

The party was at the 1857 Spumante Place, just down the street from where I live. It was the second party to take place there. The morning after the first party, I called and left a message on the machine and asked the young man to come to my home and clean up the beer cans, liquor bottles and condoms from my front yard. He came that very day with 2 friends, apologized for the mess and inconvenience. He explained that everything got way out of control and I thanked him.

Prior to the second party, a flyer was circulated. It was from the boy's mother. She said that she had addressed the parking issues, stated that there would be a security service and a very strict guest list. Well, none of her "fixes" worked and it was only when my husband walked down the street to ask for a car to be moved from our driveway that we found out they were charging for admittance. The mother's flyer billed it as a 17th birthday party for her son.

I have been told by a neighborhood teen that there will be no more parties at this house. The mother asked to hold one tonight and was told no. The front gate has assured me that anyone that is not on a guest list will be turned away and that they are watching for parties to form.

I have raised 3 teenage boys in Pleasanton. I have lived in 4 different neighborhoods. ALL the neighborhoods are plagued by the same things, and ALL the neighborhoods also have wonderful caring people doing their best. There is no "worse" or "better" area for this.

The only thing I would caution you about-if you forbid your child to go to anything permanently, depending on the child, if may or may not keep them away. It will certainly keep them from telling you about things that are sensitive and that would rob you of some valuable teaching time.

Posted by Susan Oops
a resident of Ruby Hill
on Oct 31, 2008 at 10:55 pm

So-I guess I did not need to use my real name, but I have never posted before. I felt that in posting an address, it was important to let the readers of the forum know who I am. This address was all over facebook and myspace this summer for the party that took place in August.

People can say what they want about the parties, but the family that lives in the house are great neighbors and the boys are kind and respectful to me each and every time I talk with them. Overall my street was very mellow tonight.

Posted by Shocked & Disturbed
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Nov 1, 2008 at 9:38 am

I agree with S.S. Oops that this is happening in all neighborhoods of Pleasanton. The shocking thing is that there aren't more accidents and deaths with all the "partying" these kids are doing. The disturbing thing is that it only accelerates and becomes worse when the kids go off to college. Those same parents with their heads stuck in the sand will then pay astronomical tuition prices for their kids to participate in reckless and wasteful behaviors on a daily basis. And the cycle continues..............

Posted by Ghetto Resident
a resident of Valley Trails
on Nov 3, 2008 at 11:14 am

These parties are all over. However, I don't understand the parents that allow it. Yes, if they keep this up, it is just a matter of time before another teen dies from a drunk driving related accident. The sad part about it all are those left behind, or those that are injured due to the stupidity of those thinking they are providing a "safe place" for these kids to do what they are going to do anyway. I have raised two teens in this community and have been fortunate to have an open line of communication with them both. I was aware of the parties and that my kids attended, however when they got home we stayed up and talked about the party and who was drunk and who wasn't and how silly girls and boys are when they are drinking and how they will regret their behavior some day, whether it be from promiscuos behavior or just acting stupid, and throwing up in front of everyone.

My family has been involved in sports as well and yes parents bury their heads in the sand when approached with information about their precious children, either that or they immediately tell you if their kid is doing it, so is "so and so's kid". Not the point, the point is you are trying to bring it to their attention so you can address it in your own home.

Don't get me started about Foothill's administration.....they are so worried about addressing an issue, no matter what it is. I am not sure if they think they are protecting their reputation by their actions or what, but I am glad my kids are out of that school!

Posted by Facts
a resident of Amador Valley High School
on Nov 3, 2008 at 12:40 pm

It was clearly stated that the police saw no alcohol being "served" at the aforementioned party, so the ABC has no jurisidiction. I AM shocked that a party can be held and attendee's charged admission without some kind of business permit though.

The ABC is severely limited in its resources. I believe the have less than a handful of people responsible for all of Alameda County. The resources tend to be put toward problem businesses in problem areas, and selling of liquor to underage minors by retail businesses. Police are responsible for alcohol related crimes for the rest of the public.

Posted by No More Sleepless Nights
a resident of Highland Oaks
on Nov 3, 2008 at 1:29 pm

Ghetto Resident,

Thank you for the post. Congrats on the great job with your kids...Hopefully in 5-6 years I will be making the same claim looking back on my kids high school years. I agree with your take on the Foothill administration. They worry more about what shirts kids wear to school than how many kids show up daily to school stoned, or how many kids leave school each day to get stoned at lunch. Oh, but don't wear that shirt or those pants to school -- oh no. The worse part is, parents repeatedly tell then about the transgressions of the kids at the school and they go and bury their heads...

Posted by Ghetto Resident
a resident of Valley Trails
on Nov 3, 2008 at 7:37 pm

No More Sleepless Nights -

Don't get me wrong, my kids are not "precious" we had our problems, but for the most part, we kept lines of communication open and I was aware of where they were going and who they were going with, and my kids had no doubt that I would check up on them to make sure I was getting the correct information......randomly. Teaching your kids morals in this day and age is extremely hard, especially where we live. Teaching them to work hard for what they want out of life, that things are not going to be given to you is really difficult when 16 year olds get BMW's the day they get their licenses. The parents that try to be "cool" scare me to death. Like I said in my previous post, it is probably most difficult for those left behind in the wreckage of a drunk driving accident. I know if something happens to my kids, due to the selfishness of one of these parents who allow under age drinking in their homes they will have hell to pay. We need more parents in Pleasanton that will stand up and say "NO THIS IS NOT OKAY, IT IS AGAINST THE LAW TO SERVE ALCOHOL TO A MINOR!"

I had a rule when my kids were in high school. You don't go to a party until I can verify that there would be an adult there. Most of their friends we knew. Did that mean that they never went somewhere else? Of course not, but they knew we did not approve of adult sanctioned drinking parties. In addition, when they came home at night, I always insisted on a hug no matter what time it was. It reassured me they were safely home and it got me close enough to know if I needed to be concerned. They both say now they always knew we loved them and cared where they were. We also told them better safe than sorry and if they made a bad choice DO NOT GET INTO A CAR themselves or with anyone else who was drinking. We would pick them up.

Again, were they perfect? NO. Did they make mistakes? Yes But we did the best we could to make sure they knew what we valued and it was them more than anything else. It takes work and even then it doesn't always come out the way one would hope.

Posted by Parent
a resident of Valley Trails
on Nov 5, 2008 at 2:36 pm

How are under- age drinking parties at Ruby Hill or any other neighborhood somehow the responsibility of Foothill or any other schools? Aren't they parental issues? Schools make for an easy scapegoat when things go wrong- put the blame where it belongs!

Posted by Katie
a resident of Amador Valley High School
on Feb 5, 2009 at 7:45 pm

Yeah, i have hear about these parties. And i think I know who you are talking about. Ruby Hill... its crazy. I live there, and there have been no disruptions for me, (probally because I live on teh oppsite side) on the numerous parties. I have many people at my school, openly talk about drinking, and not being able to remember anything, sex... etc. And that is totally disctusting to me. You are friggin 15-16 years old!!! It's horrible. I am annoyed with these ( im gonna say it) spoiled, arrogant, teenagers. They need to learn to grow up, and not drink.