Is your life completely devoid of meaning? Are you so unable to motivate yourself that you require some quotation from a famous person that was taken out of context to sound more general and vague, therefore more relatable to weak-brained schlubs such as yourself? You make me sick. Oh, and here's a gadget for you: the secrets of Life and Words of Wisdom button. Yes, it's a button that farts out motivational phrases for you. Yes, with quotes from such visionary thinkers as Benjamin Franklin, Conrad Hilton and Vince Lombardi, there's just no way you'll miss out on a single one of the lofty achievements promised by the button's website:

Boy, who knew that hearing a gadget say "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" would help me learn a foreign language or not be annoying. Yeah, because there's nothing less annoying than someone with no original thoughts that just spouts out quotations. Or someone who spends all their money on gimmicky garbage and then complains about not having enough money. Only $30! Buy today, you moron! [Product Page]