How I thanked my Dad before he died.

Someone once told me that if you get the chance to say goodbye – don’t be afraid to do it. I have a lot to write about this process and my new normal … but I’m still a bit raw. So, my post today is the email I sent to my dad and his response, about two weeks before we said I love you for the last time – an event we knew was around the corner ….

Dear Dad,

Thank you for being my partner for these last seven years, helping me raise these three kids and get them off to college. I never could had done that without you. Every day I bounced ideas and thoughts off you and you always took time for me. While we didn’t always agree, you were thoughtful in your responses, infinitely out of love, and it greatly helped me. I’m serious when I say I could not have done it all (college choices, new law practice, kid surgeries, and the million miscellaneous kid issues) without your guidance, counsel and humor about the complicated nature of these decisions and the (sometimes) stupidity of what was happening! These crazy kids turned out pretty well, right?

Dad you made me a better parent and person. You have been my champion and I love and thank you for that. I’m sorry that I wasn’t a great daughter for so many years. It was a mistake and I hope you don’t hold it against me! 🙂 I’m sorry I wasted all those years. My loss for sure. Please forgive me.

I’m grateful for that “nudge” to leave my hospice volunteering and spend time having coffee with you at the Purple Onion. I believe there was a reason for that nudge, which brought us all closer together. Thanks for being open to me and allowing me to wiggle my way back into your life.

I don’t know what the world will look like when you are not here for our Thanksgiving and Christmas “Chinese and a movie” or my daily calls about politics, work or the kids, but I know you will be helping me then as you do now, just in a different form. I’m really certain you will see that as well. Look, when have I ever steered you wrong? 🙂

I love you Dad. You’ve been the best father I could ever have hoped for. Now if only I could dance …

All my love,

Jessica

Dear Jessica,

You have it backwards. It is I who am in debt to you and have been recently regretting what I have missed in not being closer to you for all of these past years. I am surprised , but delighted that you continue to remain so close to me. You are truly an amazing woman, even without dancing skills and even perhaps not quite as liberal as I would prefer. But as I mentioned yesterday, your energy , and intelligence, your ambitions, and empathy are a pleasure to experience. I am proud to be your father.

You have done a fantastic job with the kids. Of course, I do not have to tell you that…it is so obvious. Your mother and my parents must now, and will be forever, smiling on you.

So thanks for your presence and all of your help and for forgiving me for any past stupid neglects of your life. I love you so much.

3 responses to “How I thanked my Dad before he died.”

I didn’t know that your dad had passed. I’m so sorry and truly understand the void his lack of presence creates. How lucky to have had that love and support in your life. You both gave each other priceless gifts. Sending a huge hug my friend.