My daughter is 12 and we had this conversation this morning. She has 3b hair which I am so jealous of (I have to work at getting to 2b/c), but she is not happy with it. She has been confining it to low ponytails and side braids lately. This morning she was tired of the braids so I got her to leave it down and I put some leave-in in it. She says when it frizzes her friends ask "What's wrong with your hair?"

I told her she needs to say nothing's wrong with it, but the problem is she doesn't believe it. She has been allowed to straighten it at a friend's house 3 times now, and of course all the kids at school or at the dance fuss over it and tell her they like it straight. I tell her it's just because it's different. If she had straight hair every day and curled it for the dance, they would like that too (I note that for school concerts, plays, and dances, many of her peers curl their hair...) Ugh, even her grandma said she liked it that way (my mom on the other hand knows better than to say that). Personally I can hardly stand to see her hair straight. It's just not right!

She has put a straightener on her Christmas list. She knows how I feel about the heat damage and says it would be just for special occasions. But I am still thinking of emailing family not to get her one, because as she becomes a teen I have a feeling those special occasions will be more and more often.

I switched her to sulfate free a year ago. She has been co-washing the last couple weeks with Tresemme Naturals because I told her it seemed to make my hair flatter. She hasn't been leaving it down long enough to see if it's helping (though I have noticed it being less poofy). Hopefully over time she will be able to see a difference.

I am going to continue to encourage her, but she already knows my preference for curls. My 15 year old daughter is 3A and loves her hair. She is my easy child Granted, her hair is easier to manage so that helps her like it.

On the other hand I think back to my childhood (in the 80's!) and how my mom allowed me to get perms instead of "being natural". Flat and thin was not in!

Sorry no help for the OP...I just came here to vent today and saw this thread!