Can you get back with your ex?

Although the adage ‘Never look back’ was coined for a reason, sometimes, even after you break up with an ex, you find yourself wanting to work things out. But how do deal with an ex? Do you ignore them, make a cordial acquaintance of them or stay friends? Or is there scope to renew the relationship and start dating again? Let’s take a look at whether it’s a good idea to get back together with your ex.

Why did you break up? A lot of the decision hinges on why the two of you decided to call it off. If he’s been cheating on you, or if he’s been abusive, then obviously you did the best thing ever by calling it off, and it’s a terrible idea to return! However, if the two of you were just at a place and time where you wanted different things from life, and are willing to revisit change, then perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start connecting platonically, and figuring out if the relationship is worth a second shot.

What are the upsides? Familiarity is an obvious upside. You have a certain degree of comfort with an ex, which will take you a while to reach with anyone else. Also, you know what to expect, what his quirks are, and you’ve probably seen the best and the worst of each other. So in all likelihood, you’re getting into this relationship with your eyes open.

What are the downsides? The fact that you have broken up earlier is an obvious downside! Who broke up with whom and for what reasons (this could lead to one person playing victim and the other feeling guilty), what skeletons exist in your relationship closet, and if nothing has changed, leading you down the same heartache again... all of these are issues that you may need to tackle. You may also be running back to your ex out of loneliness or lack of physical contact. Figure all this out before you take the plunge.

What should I keep in mind? Once you’ve decided to put the past behind you, and if a resolution to your previous breakup has been reached, don’t bring it up again in future arguments. Learn to forgive and forget. You will also need to focus on why you decided to give the relationship another try, and nurture it without taking each other for granted. Lastly, keep lines of communication open, and if something is bothering you, discuss it in a calm, rational and logical way. Remember, your relationship may not survive a second breakup!