11/22/2011

No Niece Is Good Niece

Story Sent in by Sarah:

Seth invited me out to dinner for a Friday night. The day of, he called to ask me if, in addition to dinner, I'd be interested in seeing his little niece's third-grade recital at her elementary school.

"It won't take long," he promised, "And I'll take you out to dessert wherever you want afterward." It didn't sound like a bad deal, so I told him that I'd do it.

That night, he rushed us through dinner to get to the recital early. We were among the first ones there. It filled up while we sat there, and about five minutes before it began, he stood up and told me, "I'll be right back."

The recital began without him. Ten minutes in, I texted him. Twenty minutes in, I excused myself to the lobby, where I gave him a call. No answer. I waited for another few minutes, tried him again, left another voicemail, and then left the recital completely.

I didn't hear from him until over a year later. He wrote to me, a classic email: "You're in my contact list, but I have no idea who you are. How do we know each other?"

I wrote back a terse response: "I'm Sarah, the girl you left at your niece's recital last year."

This is what happened: Seth found a random elementary school girl to pose as his niece hoping to charm Sarah, but at the last minute the little girl got cold feet so Seth had to bail. The (partial) truth came out a year later.

wow I thought this was going to turn out to be one of those where his "niece" is really his daughter and he just wanted her to come to show off this hot new girl in front of his ex, but this story is even more bizarre.

It's pretty clear what happened. His niece gave him the wrong elementary school, which he only realized after looking at the program. Knowing that his niece had played him for a fool, he stormed out in a huff. He proceeded to disown his cockblocking niece forever. Thus "I have no niece." Occam's Razor.

I think what happened is that he decided to go to the recital after so he would have an easy way to ditch her if he didn't like her. If he did like her, she would think it was sweet that he was there for his niece, and if not... easy way out.

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