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Saturday, 10 July 2010

Afternote - Comment of the Day

Dear readers,

Thank you for leaving your comments on my previous post. I really appreciate the kind understanding from all or you. Thanks for cheering me on!

My purpose of putting up that post was not to highlight the negative comment, but to use it as a platform to express my appreciations to Cassie, someone I do not know, and yet took time to read my blog and hear me out.

I have no issues with the way the negative comment is worded. I was from the corporate world, I am well trained to brace myself against those comments. Life is not a bed of roses! The only thing is, right from the start, I believe the person is living at another side of the world. No mothers will feed their children to see them growing up to suffer from diabetes or heart problems. However, due to the differences in our culture, the person may not know that rice, noodles, wheat (flour) is our main staple. The majority of our population (hope I am not wrong?) have rice almost every day. It was only these recent years that we get to see more varieties of commercially made wholemeal or multi-grain bread available at the supermarket shelves. During my short-term stay in the states 10 years ago, I was really amazed at the range of delicious multigrain loaves available, I even thought of bringing loaves of bread home. For those of you living in the western part of the world, you will be surprised that most of the local bakery stores here are selling bread and buns made with white flour, you can hardly find a bun that is made with wholemeal flour at the neighbourhood store. If you were to walk along the baking supply shelves in our local supermarket, don't be shock that sometimes you don't even see wholemeal flour on the shelves. Most of the time, I have to make special trips to the baking supply store just to get it.

To increase the intake of complex carbohydrates, I compensate by cooking a mixture of white and brown rice, and I was lucky that my kids have no problem eating it for the past year. We switched to soft multi-grain bread once they acquire the taste. I have also started tweaking recipes to introduce wholemeal flour or oats in the bakes I made. I don't follow recipes that call for a whole block of butter, and if a whole cup of sugar is required in the recipe, I'll either stay away or reduce the amount. I make muffins instead of cupcakes laden with buttercream or icing and till now, I could not bring myself to frost a cake with fondant. I baked bread more than cakes and cookies, yes, even though the bread and buns I made consisted mainly of white flour, but if we were not to eat this, I don't know what else to feed my children for breakfast. What's the point of giving them cereals if they would rather choose those 'kids-friendly' cereals which is hidden with sugar, over muesli?

I am not trying to make any justifications as there is no need to do so. However, I have to highlight this fact that my blog posts are just snap shots of what we had at that point in time...my kids diet changes as they grow older, what I have written almost 3 years ago may not give a fair representation of the present.

I'm the sort of person who usually leaves things as it is, just like the Chinese saying 清者自清 (meaning: it is not necessary to explain or clear things up if one has not done anything wrong). However, I just felt so compelled to voice this:

Blogging makes our world smaller...it makes the world bordlerless, bringing us closer, and yet, everyone needs to understand that we are still physically apart, some of us are living thousands of miles away. We have to try to understand there is always differences in our cultures, not everyone on earth speaks the same language, eat the same food. So, instead of giving one's views based solely on one's perspectives, we have to take a step back...look at things from a macro point of view and try to understand the differences before making any judgmental comments. Seek first to understand then to be understood.

Ok, that's all I have to say, thanks for reading, and I hope this won't offend anyone.

37 comments:

HHB, I totally disagree. Life IS a bed of roses, but we have to remember that roses have thorns too. Don't be discourage by those comments. I actually try out your recipes because I think they are lower fat and great alternatives than the classic western cakes filled with heavy heavy cream and pounds of butter, which I find disgusting now. We eat more carbs, because we consume less fat and sugar compared to them. I must say you're right about culture difference. For instance, my mum really loved your mango pudding cake, which I don't think I can find the recipe on any other sites. Plus, you always consider the amount of butter in your cakes.

Hhb 你这篇写得太好了。i fully agree with u. Sometimes when j bake cake for my parents I actually think twice as these sweet treats don't do any good to their health but when I see them enjoying the cake and even requested me to make again I change my mind. Besides eating heathy, living happily is equally important.

HHB, my passion for baking and cooking were inspired by many, and one of them is you.

Nothing beats home baking and home cooked food as the freshest and best are chosen for our loved ones. Its baking and cooking from the heart and that plays a major part to even healthier wholesome well being for one and all.

Do continue with your delish sharings and follow your heart in the passion where you bring joy, satisfaction and contentment to those you love.

Dear HHB, 2 posts dedicated to this negative comment, I guess it must have really hurt you. It is really hurting to see someone comment that you are not feeding your kids well when those are only part of your meals.

Ignore this silly comment and I'm on the same side as all your other supporters. :)

HHB, Well said! I have lived in both north and south of the globe for a long time. I fully understand the culture differences. I also wanted to add that people from Asia don't get obese easily mainly because they walk most of the time when they leave home, but the people here in the U.S. drive to everywhere, even a couple of blocks away. It's also true that the desserts here in the U.S. are so much sweeter and contain much more sugar than the Asian desserts. I usually have to cut down 1/4 to 1/3 cup of the sugar on most of the western dessert recipes. I also notice people here always add extra calories by doing something to the fruit (pie,ice cream,sugar,whip cream)instead of eating simply raw like Asian do.

I am also a SAHM and I don't see anything wrong with what you are doing as I am doing the samething, less salt, less fat, kids don't even like whip cream or topping on cake and cupcakes. Noodle, pasta, rice or bread are served at home everyday, and my kids are tall and not obese at all. Most important is they are happy and healthy.

As a blogger myself, I can understand the comments we receive help make our days. Just ignore those harsh comments and continue with your passion on bringing joy and happiness to your family. I always enjoy reading your blog and inspired by it a lot. Looking forward to more wonderful sharing from you.

Commenting from the states! I really love your blog. Your blog was the first food blog I ever followed. I've always wanted to tell you how much you've changed my life, thank you!

I always noticed how your recipes use alternatives like whole wheat or oats when possible. I agree, even if things like bread and rice have carbs, they're just a staple in our culture. Also, making wholesome, homemade food like yours will always be a better choice than buying pre-made food and snacks that are full of chemicals you would never want to feed your children! Your blog showed me that I'm capable of making my own treats that taste even better than store-bought food, without using loads of chemicals and unbelievable amounts of sugar!

But most of all, your blog inspired me because of your dedication and love you showed your children through food. I could tell you really love them, simply from reading your blog and seeing all of the cute, kid-sized meals you worked so hard to prepare! Your children should be very happy to have such a loving mother. Even if it sounds strange, love is the key ingredient to any recipe. Thank you for doing all of this, I look forward to more spectacular years of your blog!

HHB, you are an amazing mum! Your children are very lucky to have you as their mother. I always read about how you want to reduce sugar etc. and that just shows me that you're very caring about the nutrition you're providing your children with. Most baked goods in stores, while very delicious, are laden with butter, sugar and other unhealthy products, I should know, I work for a gourmet patisserie.

Hi HHB,I totally agree with you that no mums would cause harm to their children, and it doesn't make any sense of what the person is trying to insinuate especially home-cooked/baked food are prepared so painstakingly. Of course, everyone has their right of opinions, but we have to know our stuff before commenting in order not to make a fool of ourselves, or else incur wrath amongst the community. We should keep going with what we know is best for our children and family ;-)

And we all eat carbs be it rice, noodles or bread everyday - in the chart that my doctor gave me for my children, these foods form the bottom of the food pyramid meaning that we should be eating alot of them. We should also eat protein, but very much lesser, for example.

Fibre anyway can be integrated into the diet through fruits and vegetables and via the same carbs of rice, bread and noodles, using whole grain for example, though not too often or in too huge quantities or you'll scare the kids off their food. Everything in life is about moderation. And important thing when we make an effort to cook for our children is that they enjoy the value of home-cooked food, of eating in. In these days when it's so much easier to eat out, to have it easy.

You serve a nice variety of food to your family which should be applauded. And even if you didn't, it's your own business. If you choose to share what you eat with the rest of the world, it doesn't mean that you have also asked for any lessons from your public.

That anonymous comment reminded me of good intentions from other people gone bad. Like I was in a supermarket looking at baby products and this woman came to me and spent 30 minutes lecturing about the negative chemicals in this or that product - and I was too polite to move away. I appreciated her concern, but couldn't she see that she was imposing on my time and good humour? If she felt strongly about that, she should have written a flyer and distributed it to everyone instead.

Same thing, you queue up at the post office in a small town in the USA and 2 women before you suddenly turned around and told you that you were lucky to be living in the States and not in China anymore...Ironically, it's because of people and attitudes like that that made us decide to return to Western Europe and not remain in the States. These people lack EQ.

A friend of mine gave me the link to your blog and I drop by once in awhile to get some inspiration to pamper my boyfriend! It's amazing being a mum (I know children can be a handful cos I'm a teacher) and more amazing of your effort in doing your best to share your knowledge with everyone out here. As for the negative post, oh well... I think he/she must be just feeling sore see your lovely photos and *mean words to whoever wrote the negative comment* ;) Anyway, keep up your wonderful work here and you are a great mum no matter what others say!

Writing as someone from USA I must say that I do not agree with that person's nasty comment. Asian foods are highly regarded as healthy, compared to the typical american meal. In america, unless you are very rich, your typical meal has many items considered unhealthy. We typically have noodles, potatoes, or breads with every meal. Ground beef is the standard meat consumed in the US. Nearly everyone drinks a "sweetened" beverage. The reason for this is that these foods are much lower in cost than the high nutrition foods that person was referencing.

America is like any other country when it comes to the average diet. A persons larder is stocked with what can be readily found and afforded. From my understanding most meats are very expensive in most of the tightly populated Asian cities. Not everyone can afforrd to go out and purchase such things on a daily basis.

As a last comment I would like to add that I do not think you have ever poorly fed your family. I see countless dishes full of fresh fruits and vegitables. Your recipes very ingredience and add variety as well as nutrition to every meal. I will admit to spending hours and hours reading your blog and not once have I considered it a blog on unhealthy foods. Actually, I always considered your recipes to be very healthly, yet affordable and realistic.

Please keep doing as you have been and not let people with poor manners, and poorer judgement, have a negative effect on you in any way.

I'm a silent reader of your blog, like it very much and I do get some inspiration looking at the lovely pics. I know I can rely on your recipes too. Just ingore those harsh negative comments. These ppl lack something up there! When I first started blogging I also receieved a harsh comment that questioned me why must I put the Copyscape on my blog when I want to share out my recipes. I replied and gave her a piece of my mind, subtly!

Such comments are very irritating. They don't understand the blogger's thoughts and expect you to conform to the way they or other blogger's blogs. And worse is once you try to clarify, it never stop.

Believe it or not I recently got a negative comment just because I do not own a camera. What the hell right? And now I'm having problem clearing up that mess. You are right bout the net. People tend to judge first before they try to analyze.

Since my comments are abit late and alot of what I want to say has already been said by other readers who have stood up for HHB, so I will just go straight to the point and this message is for that small-minded person who left that un-called for comment earlier, the one who started it all and U KNOW WHO U ARE! Have u heard of the saying "Frog in the well?" It won't surprise me if you are TOTALLY CLUELESS!!! Based on your uncalled-for comment, it is no doubt that you have probably not travelled beyond the borders of your little town, nor hv access to cable TV and needless to say, I am inclined to think that u must hv had minimal schooling. Gosh, I am surprised u hv Internet!!! I hate to bring your family into this but I am sure if your parents knew how nasty a person you hv turned out to be, they would be questioning their parenting skills. I sure hope your children will not choose u to be their role model in their lives. Learn a little courtesy and graciousness, especially in the cyber world, just coz u think nobody can see u or know who u are, u can act in any brazen manner as u like. If u don't like what u hv read, just leave, nobody is making you read/comment on that blog post, and definately nobody is asking for your wise opinion. It is NOT APPRECIATED! Have a good life!For all other readers, pls know that HHB DID NOT SOLICIT me for my comments as a revengeful act. if anything else, I worry HHB will not show my comments for the world to see/read.

Hey, I won't give a Dxxx with what others say(negative things) .This is my life! As long as I feel good and want to do it, I DO IT! So long it's not harmful to others! BAking and cooking are a form of art as what I see. When talk about arts, it is all up to us what we wanna do.

Today I may give my son all the goodness in the food of my cooking, but tomorrow I may give him something that has less nutrients. I don't cook with a ruler or carrying a measurement tool everywhere we go to eat. So just do what you feel like, If you are happy, your family members will be happy too!!

As an Asian, we can't avoid refined food. Its there everywhere. Which mother wouldn't want to feed their family with nutritious food? It's not easy to do so, especially, in my family, as my husband doesn't like all these so called "wholesome" items, though I would prepare occasionally with some adjustments to my dish.

Well, with a strong"ARMY" of supporters (including me), hope you've gotten over this unhappy incident.

dear all, thanks for the assurance that I am not doing anything wrong.

Many people may not understand what's this fuss about, what's so big deal about it. But, to someone whose life revolves round her children, it hurts. Anyway, I have put this incident behind, and do keep a look out for my next post :)

I've with everyone here in saying that you're definitely feeding your kids proper home cooked food. Even though you may post more cakes and treats, I'm sure you don't post every meal you cook, so we the readers don't see the daily diet your family enjoy. So no one can make judgement like "anonymous" that your kids are not getting any nutrition. So please keep your posts coming as we look forward to them always!

Hope you are feeling better today. We are all humans and I feel the hurt for you. We are all mothers, wanting our best for our families. Do know that the anonymous' nasty comments are unfounded. If they are from another part of the world, hope they seek to understand before speaking.

To ALL food bloggers out there, 3 cheers for you, you all have been so generous like hhb to share your colorful baking journey with everyone, despite knowing there'll be unkind comments by "cyber bullies".

I have baked your blueberry oatmeal muffins and they are delicious, even my 1nhalf yr old baby enjoys it:)

Well said! Seek first to understand. Although there is freedom of speech and everyone has a right to give their comments or their 2-cents worth, that person has definitely not done the right thing... writing to hurt or to criticize...This is your blog and your life! You're doing great and who has the right to criticize.

I have only chanced upon your blog last month in June and really loved your blog. Your recipes are good and reliable. Already, I have made the blueberries muffins and pizza using your recipes and both are successful attempts. Please keep up with your good work.

Thanks Cassie! I am glad to hear that you and you children likes the blueberries oatmeal muffins!

Edith, I am glad that your hubby did the right thing to encourage you to go on! Even though it hurts, we should not quit blogging because of such comments. All the more we should show them they are wrong.

Fong, thanks for visiting and trying out the recipes. I am sure you have a great time baking the muffins and making the pizza. Baking makes me happy :):)

For goodness' sake. You shouldn't have to explain yourself like this. Truly baffling that some 'Anonymous' would post such a self-righteous comment. Most readers of food blogs have the common sense to know that the authors don't post every breakfast, lunch, and dinner that they ever make, every single day. You, for example, only post the special ones: birthdays, spectacular failures, favorites, holidays, and so forth. Of course no one eats like that every day for every meal, regardless of where they live!!

I'm glad you're not letting it discourage you. I really like your photos and stories...and the recipes, of course. :)

Hhb, I hope no one has been giving you a hard time! I just recently started reading your blog, I came across it when looking for a sponge cake recipe. I saw the piano cake you made and it inspired me to try baking from scratch :) I'm only 18 and I have very little experience with baking that isn't from a premade box. I love your blog and I try to find time to make one item a week (Since I'm still a full time college student). I think the way you cook your breads is actually healthier because there are not any preservatives like shelf bread. Thank you for the beautiful recipes and inspiration, I look forward to reading a lot of more of them! :) Alyssa Marie

Dear Happy Homebaker, I discovered your blog just two days ago and since today I read this post and the previous one, I just wanted to add my own 2 cents to the whole question (maybe someone else did before me, I didn't read all the comments, sorry :-). Besides the fact that negative comments do happen, internet is a free place and a big one too, so all kinds of persons can read and comment one's blog, that's just the way it is, as a blogger I'm affraid you just need to learn not to care (it's easy said, I know, I know :-)) The other thing is: I'd definitely say that particular comment was written by an american (for that's about the only part of the world where people are actually obsessed by proteins anyway :-). For me, as e european, I have always been told that healthy proportions would be 40 carbs, 30 proteins and 10 fats. And most of all, you have carbs and carbs, sugar is a carb, sure, but you burn it quickly and you just get a boost of empty calories from it (and the excess of sugar is one of the reasons of america's obesity issues) , flour and rice are complex carbs, it takes you way more time to burn them, so, unlike simple sugars, they will give you energy for, let's say, a whole afternoon. So not only carbs are important, but they are actually good for you (as long as you chooses the right carbs, and you seem to do so :-). As for proteins, well, you don't find those only in steaks - I guess you also eat tofu and that's for instance a great protein source , just like fish. So, you're perfectly right saying that's the way people eat in your part of the world since ages, there is so much truth in 'traditionnal diets' and again, really, you just shouldnt care for badly informed people criticizing your lovely work! :-)