* Job seekers are removing their tattoos. "One 34-year-old pharmaceutical salesman said the Irish flag and the wizard that decorate his calves were costing him clients." You know, some drug sellers would gain street cred from a calf wizard.

* NBC comes in 4th in the 2008-2009 ratings race. It's like we don't even care about viewers anymore. Other than "The Office," "30 Rock" and "Sunday Night Football," I never watch NBC. Why would I? Have you looked at our schedule lately? It's just 8 hours of Howie Mandel and Jay Leno on a constant loop. Last night, we aired a special about the Top 50 Catchphrases. I wish I were making that up. Weep for the peacock, my children.

* Doctor: "I'd like to remove your gallbladder."Woman: "Okay."Doctor:"Through your vagina."Woman: "Ummmmm..."Doctor: "Also, I'll be using my penis."Woman: "No."Doctor: "It was worth a shot. Anyway, I really do want to take it out through your vagina."

* Finally, someone writes an article on how to survive a robot uprising. But how can we trust it, since we're reading it on a computer. And how do you know a human is typing this blog, and it's not an elaborate hoax by a robot attempting to overthrow humanity? Stop clicking these links immediately. Flee! Hoard food! Stockpile weapons!