THE Tories are promising a Wysiwyg government if we are daft enough to send Michael Howard to Downing Street.

For those who don't know this means What You See Is What You Get. Eleven million leaflets are being sent out to promote the Conservatives' wizzywig strategy.

Every household will hear what he intends to do on day one, in week one and month one on the six key issues of the day: schools, Europe, crime, immigration, tax and hospitals.

As I never tire of saying, old Dracula can promise the earth because he will never inherit it.

This colossal mail shot is doomed to failure - the memories of Black Wednesday, the poll tax and sleaze are just too much to overcome. I do not share the fashionable view that the Tories are finished for ever. A party with such deep roots in the British way of life cannot be written off just like that. And they still command 30 per cent of the national vote.

But fundamental attitudes are shifting. The Tories have adapted infinitely more slowly to change than New Labour. They will never win back power under the leadership of men from the Thatcher-Major years. Only when they choose a leader from the younger generation will they resonate with the wider public.

File these names away: David Cameron, George Osborne and Andrew Lansley. My bet is that one of these three Tory MPs will succeed when Dracula finally retires to his castle.

He should listen to the old song: "Fangs Ain't What They Used Ter Be!".