She thinks other folks will troll the internet looking for snippets of her patterns to put together the pattern without buying it.

I see it like this: Unless you invented the knit stitch and the purl stitch, you're building on someone else's work. There is no such thing as an "original" pattern any more, it's all been done. And no matter how unique you might think your particular combination of knits and purls is, someone else has already done it -- and very likely someone else in future will do it again.

People like that are usually a tempest in a teapot and if you call the bluff they'll fold like a cheap shirt. BUT. When you're dealing with a soulless corporation with dozens of lawyers on retainer, it gets a little dicier. That said, unless you were mass producing the item for sale, you're probably not worth their time and money to prosecute. In THAT way, you're better off dealing with McCall's than Madame Psycho Head Case.

But getting back to sharing the pattern with your pal, you could always go old school and print it out and mail it. It isn't completely untraceable, but it isn't out there in permanent archival status on a mail server either.