An Oregon man was definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time and is suffering a series of bad consequences because of it. Matthew Keegan, 27, states that he was“bored and lonely”when he decided to take a walk in the woods. According to his statement to police, Keegan said at one point he got the urge to“massage up the helmet”when he came across a sap oozing maple tree.

Rather than going into the details of Keegan’s encounter with the maple tree, let’s just say he was “corking the tree hole” – as Keegan described it in his statement to police. Although it had been raining, Keegan said the tree “comforted and protected him with her giant leaves above.” That was, until, the tree he was smashing was struck with one billion volts of lightning from above. At that moment, Keegan was thrown nearly 100 feet in the other direction as the tree went up in a blaze of fire.

It wasn’t until emergency medical responders and the fire department arrived at the scene that they found Keegan unconscious in a pile of leaves with his pants around his ankles. As Keegan awoke from his daze, first responders said he began to fight and attack them with a stick he found on the ground. After five firemen finally restrained Keegan, he was transported to a nearby hospital where he underwent treatment for internal injuries and burns. Hospital personnel reported that they found several baggies of methamphetamines as well as a small bag of marijuana.

Although it is not illegal to‘hook up’with a maple tree, it is illegal to possess methamphetamines and attack emergency medical responders. Keegan was treated at the hospital and released into the custody of Oregon State Police where he is being charged with drug possession and assault. Keegan is being held on a $2,000 bond.