He's not the boss of you: just say no to hubby

Hey there, time traveller!This article was published 12/6/2013 (1275 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband wants me to decamp to our Lake of the Woods cabin for the entire summer, with him visiting me on the weekends. I want to stay in Winnipeg so I can see my lover and just go out on the weekends with my husband (more like platonic friends). How do I explain I don't want be at the lake, when it is well-known I love lake life? My two kids are going to university down east and staying there for summer jobs. I'd be all alone five days a week and couldn't have my other man up, because lake neighbours drop in liberally. Don't waste your breath lecturing me about having a lover, as I'm far too old to listen. My husband has been uninterested in sex and affection with me for 10 years. He refers to it as "all that stupid stuff." My lover is married, too, and not happy. What can I do to keep him in my world this summer? -- Not Dead Yet, Winnipeg

Dear Not Dead: If you're asking how to convince your husband to "let" you stay in the city, you haven't learned the power of saying, "No, I don't feel like it." You can't argue with those words. He will still ask for the reason why, and you say, "It bores me when the kids aren't there and, frankly, I just don't want to, so I'm staying in the city." You might try to find out why he's so anxious for you to go to the lake, leaving him alone in the city. Do you really think he's been doing nothing sexually for 10 years? If you can fool him, he can fool you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was out eating lunch in a nearby park with a young woman from my workplace, at her invitation, as a change to eating in the sterile old building. She suddenly touched my hand and then leaned over and kissed me. After a few seconds, I started kissing her back and we ended up in a clinch in the grass. I'm a single guy in my late 30s, with a professional career and good money. She is 23. I thought we were just friends because of the age difference. Not many chances come my way because I'm kind of plain. I know it's dangerous for my career, but what should I do? -- Wanting Her Badly, Industrial Park

Dear Wanting: Immature girls that you work with are not the ones you want to get with romantically. They have a tendency to confide in their best pals at work and suddenly it's all over the building. It's understandable you want some love and affection when not much comes your way, but it'd be better to use this experience as proof you are actually appealing. Use it as a catalyst to get yourself in shape, buy some cool clothes, modern eyewear, a convertible and rent a cabin to host weekend parties. Get back into the world socially and don't start up with young employees from work. If you got mixed up with this particular little babe, you could mess up the part of your world that is working right already.

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