Do you expect special treatment?

Gold Member

micro: First of all I am gay. A few years ago I went to bed with a guy who was extermely large. I honestly didn't know that he would be so large, never suspected a thing. Actually, even during sex I didn't think twice, just took things as they came. I just thought he was cute over all.

THEN... he wanted to have sex again, and so Did I. But, he wanted me to leave my current boyfriend. He told me that I loved him more than my boyfriend. He also distinctly stated that he had a big penis. He said it so proud and arrogantly, as if he expected special treatment and privilages. I actually didn't know what he wanted, but that tone of voice he used really, really turned me off. To compound things, I have issues about how I am NOT hung, and how gay culture tends to place such high value on a big tool. I told him that he better leave.

I didn't see him for several weeks, and when I finally did he seemed extremely hurt, but at the same time he didn't seem to understand what he said or did. I didn't see him after that until just two months ago. (Over Ten years later) I said hello to him on the bus. But as soon as he recognized me, he immediately put up a defensive wall. He was on his way to a concert with his current boyfriend. His body language and tone of voice indicated to me that he had something against me. I honestly forgot about the original event until I saw his reaction. I still think he is totally clueless as to how I saw things. And truthfully, I am not sure how he sees things.

Were you dating the boyfriend while you went on the romp with the hung guy? If that's the case, I can't say I'm all gung-ho about that tryst.

That's beside the point, though. I have to admit from the start that I'm glad for your "nonchalance" about his size initially. Hmmm, perhaps in a sick way, because you didn't respond with "Whoa, that's huge!" the first time around, that might have prompted the arrogance. You're not to blame, of course; if this guy's convinced you are swayed by his fuckstick... well, he obviously didn't have much between the ears to marvel over, is that not so?

We've talked about arrogance and the ego and the big schlong, and thankfully, more than most of the members here are pretty grounded about their endowments. I think it's because dick size is quite the "crap shoot" as someone put it, that we can't get too overly proud. You can like your size and not be such a fuckwit about it, you know?

Your issues and his... issues... didn't seem to click, to say the very least, and you don't seem too bad off without him.

I can't say I've had that luck. Of course, I have only seen maybe a couple of "sizeable" dudes in real life, but I'm sure the dynamics were strikingly different. That jackass mistakenly thought he had a "power" over you because of the differences between your dick sizes. In my own situations, I was in his shoes, but I didn't seek to belittle the other guy if he came up an inch or two shorter than me. If we were roughly equivalent, it make the jack-off session even better; we both celebrated in having a nice size and bonded by shooting off together.

The nice proverb:
There's quite a difference between having a big dick and acting like one.

Gold Member

micro: No, having sex outside of the relationship was NOT a good thing for me or my partner. It caused a lot of problems.

After I made the post I think I experienced quite a bit of healing. This morning I found a whole new take on the situation. I never before thought that he might have been trying to use the 'big dick' thing to win me over, or try to make me think that he would be a more ideal partner. Well, that wasn't the case. I stayed with my partner for another 9 years after that. I still see him, and I still love him very much. But we are more like really good friends that sometimes get together for sex from time to time. It certainly takes more then a penis to keep two people together.

I would also add that my issues about my own body have become much less of an issue. Some people might expect a well endowed man for an ideal partner and seek them out, but thats not the case for everyone. I will probably always be turned off by anyone who is constantly remarking about his size, but at least I can view things in a different light.

Gold Member

awellhungboi: Micro, reading your last post makes me feel good. Because, ultimately, that's what this site does best. Allows people to communicate issues they may not be able to express anywhere else, and by doing so, coming to some understanding. I'm glad that posting made you look at your situation in a new light--and, I'll bet that your post probably could help someone in a similar situation as well.

Any guy who feels like the only thing he has to offer in life is a big dick is the person who really needs help. From the way you describe it it sounds like this guy was shocked that you didn't make a big deal about his size. Believe it or not, guys with big dicks can have self-esteem and body issues too-- trying to compensate for a perceived inner lack by excessively bragging about one's endowment would be the most common symptom.

Gold Member

micro: That was going to be my next question. I often wondered if guys with endowments could have self-esteem problems. Personally I haven't noticed it, as most well hung men seem to have confidence, or at least seem to project that they do. I have met a few men who are constantly bringing it up, and who knock other people down for being smaller. I guess that trying to put others down really isn't confidence.

[quote author=micro link=board=relationships;num=1063248030;start=0#4 date=09/13/03 at 18:36:04] I often wondered if guys with endowments could have self-esteem problems.[/quote]

Anyone can have self-esteem problems. In some cases, a big cock can account for such an issue to some extent. There are men out there who have been objectified for their endowments. They have been led to believe that their penes are all they have to offer, and if that fails to impress, they feel they have nothing else that anyone could possibly be looking for. Obsession about a single trait is often a symptom of low self-esteem.