To amuse and enlighten

Ruby Explains the Health Care Bill

Confused by the frenetic last-minute deal-making and Pelosi and Reid’s incessant grandstanding? A three-year-old clears up what’s going on with health care in Washington.

Sunny: “Ruby, there’s been a lot of confusion about this health care bill that passed. Can you just briefly explain the newest version?”

I got your little bird right here.

Ruby: “Help Care! Did you know that I have a baby sister in my tummy? She swims around like a fish.”

Sunny: “That’s a good point–the abortion issue has been divisive. Were you concerned that it might prevent the passage of the bill?”

Ruby: “Sometimes there is a rainbow hawk outside my house, he has magic powers to kill mean dinosaurs! They say ROAR!”

Sunny: “You’re right, it really is hard to reconcile how people support war, yet they claim to value the ‘sanctity of life’. Let’s switch gears. How are doctors responding to the passage of the bill?”

Ruby: “I don’t want a shot! I went to the doctor and only got one sticker. Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! I want to buy a princess doll! And a candy house! A new candy house!”

Sunny: “So you think doctors might cut back on what they can give? Interesting. You bring up homeowners; there should be a dramatic decrease in bankruptcies filed because of a medical crisis. Have you yourself ever had any issues with your own coverage?”

Ruby: “I went poop in my pull-up. I need to change my pants.”

Sunny: “So true, we all need help sometimes. It’s important to remember that. Thank you for your insightful opinions tonight, Ruby.”