---45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with
various funnels.---

--- 46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say
things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into
believing that the clothes are talking to them---

--- 47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and
get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is
breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this
to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl,
but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as
though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming
and having convulsions.---

--- 48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the
fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"---

--- 49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. ---

--- 50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and
relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain
that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little
umbrella in it.---

--- 51. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and
begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."---

--- 52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of
shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and
throw it in various aisles. ---

--- 53. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,
quickly make off with it without saying a word.---

--- 54. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five
feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.---

--- 55. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.---

--- 56. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the
other aisles. ---

--- 57. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume
there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start
flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle)
What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on
the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."---