You’re on American Idol. You’ve made the top 12. What scandal gets you kicked off the show?
They find out I’m lip-synching, and it’s actually Milli Vanilli that’s doing the real singing this time. They’re trying to make a comeback, so I would just be a cover for them, and if that got blown, it would suck. I figure I could get away if I didn’t have the braids and everything.

If we’re not supposed to look at the sun, how do we know it’s really there?
You’re not supposed to look at it, but if you put sunglasses on, everybody looks at the sun. That’s the first thing you do. That’s how we get the saying “What’s up, sun?” People never knew it was there until they put on sunglasses.

So how did they know they needed to wear sunglasses?
No one ever thought that you would need to wear sunglasses to look up at the sun, because as a kid, you never saw anybody with bandages over their eyes because they had looked at the sun. You never saw anyone scream out, like, “Oh my God, my eyes are torn up because I looked at the sun!” You never once saw that. Sunglasses were invented for people that wanted to get high, and they didn’t want anybody to see their red eyes. So they put on sunglasses to block their eyes. And then one day, an urban kid happened to look up, and he was surprised, and he was like, “What’s up, sun?” That’s where it came from.

Flanagan’s empire Once a staple of the pages of The NewPaper (original incarnation of The Providence Phoenix ), Warwick-born Bill Flanagan went on to become a prominent rock journalist whose credits include U2: At the End of the World , the definitive portrait of one of the world's biggest bands.

DANCE, MONKEY: STEVE HOFSTETTER | August 27, 2008 Do you think we as a nation will ever be prepared to grant Dave Coulier immunity for his involvement with Alanis?

DANCE, MONKEY: COREY RODRIGUES | August 20, 2008 They find out I’m lip-synching, and it’s actually Milli Vanilli that’s doing the real singing this time. They’re trying to make a comeback, so I would just be a cover for them, and if that got blown, it would suck.