London has been battered by 50mph winds that have felled trees and caused travel chaos. Powerful gusts swept across the capital as the Met Office issued a yellow "be aware" weather alert for most of the country.

The conviction of a woman for sexually assaulting a baby and allowing her boyfriend to take photographs of the abuse has brought an end to "one of the most sickening paedophile rings this country has seen", prosecutors have said.

Rule! Britannia. Rude Britannia, crude and lewd Britannia, Britannia skirts up and trousers down, Britannia groped and poked, Britannia with her arse and fanny under the magnifying glass, Britannia farting, belching, vomiting — this is the omnium gatherum of British Comic Art assembled for us by Tate Britain as a summer treat — Brighton Beach is come to Pimlico. The pricks, dicks, bums and bosoms of the saucy postcard mingle with the riotous rumpy-pumpy episodes of Rowlandson; the silken elegance of Beardsley’s tumescent penises puts to shame Grayson Perry’s monstrous strutting phalluses, veinous with over-use, masquerading as Hans Andersen. Beryl Cook offers the hired Chippendale at a hen night and the invitation of the jolly dominatrix, sycophants kiss the prime ministerial buttocks and a chamber pot has built into it a bust of Napoleon so that we may piss on him — an amusement that should have been brought up to date with Blair and Brown. Sarah Lucas lowers the tone still further with her wanking forearm.

The first time I catch sight of the American photographer and artist David LaChapelle, he is deep in conversation with a smart-looking man wearing a dark blue velvet jacket and a dog collar. Has the wicked religious imagery and nudity of LaChapelle's work offended the church? We are, after all, at the opening of his London exhibition, Rape of Africa, and Naomi Campbell's naked breast (an inescapable feature of the show's title work, inspired by Botticelli's Venus and Mars) is pointing directly at us.

The musical continues the contagious, fun-filled, frolic-fuelled adventure that has captured the hearts of theatre-goers everywhere and was described as "witty, catchy and damn charming" Evening Standard in July 2009.