Museum notes: Cracking the da Vinci code

Folks try their hand at arch-building in Leonardo’s Workshop. These efforts often ended with a resounding crash.

The are lots of oddball gadgets that you can crank and flap at the Witte Museum’s exhibit “The Genius of Leonardo: Machines in Motion.” But the most impressive thing I gleaned during a Labor Day visit was a factoid in the continuously running movie about Leonardo da Vinci’s life.

In the 10-minute flick, some Leo expert is heard praising his ability to think outside the box. Amazing! Especially since Leo died in 1519, which is some 50 years before the box was even invented by the famous French intellectual and scholar, Vicomte Claude DuBacques.

Think about that. Leo was such a genius, he recognized the necessity for man to transcend the physical and metaphysical limitations of an item that hadn’t even been invented yet. Comedian/math instructor Tom Lehrer’s comment about Mozart, “It’s people like that who make you realize how little you’ve accomplished,” certainly applies to Mr. da Vinci as well. And he even invented that whole code thing, too.

Plus, the actor playing the young da Vinci in the movie was boy-band hot. This suggests that had Leo come along now, he could have been the next Justin Timberlake  if he could have found a way to concentrate on singing while simultaneously calculating the mathematical formulas necessary for pop-chart success.

Anyway, if your self-esteem can handle it (for me, it was a close call), the Leo exhibit at the Witte is worth catching. You’d best hurry, since it goes away after Sunday.

(Photo by Robert Johnson)

Look out, mister! Fortunately, the man looking at Leo’s drawings was not injured by this barrage of catapult fire.

Unlike some traveling exhibits, “The Genius of Leonardo” is relentlessly kid-friendly. If you were bummed out that your youngsters weren’t allowed to fondle the plasticized cadavers at “Our Bodies: The Universe Within,” you’ll have no such worries here. Most of the widgets created from Leo’s drawings couldn’t be broken if you tried. And there’s Leonardo’s Workshop, where kids can build bridges and arches, play with paper flying things and use a catapult to fire ping-pong balls at a painting of a castle (which had a certain Monty Python-esque quality).

Since writing is easier when you make lists instead of attempt to construct coherent paragraphs (a point I’ve proven beyound a shadow of a doubt by this point), here are some other miscellaneous observations:

 For a guy who invented the term “Renaissance Man,” Leo sure dreamed up a lot of novel ways to kill people  early versions of cannons, machine guns and a war-wagon thingy that looks like a spacecraft but which is the ancestor of the modern tank.

 A video presentation about his famous drawing, “The Vitruvian Man” (more commonly known as “Penis Dude”) makes the following statement: “Like nature and the universe, the proportions and measurements of the human body are perfect and correct.” Leo might have had to rethink the whole perfection thing had he ever gone to Schlitterbahn on a holiday weekend.

 And though Vitruvian Man may have been considered perfect in his day, he does have some little love handles. His sixpack, however, suggests that Leo may well have seen the “Core Secrets” infomercial, which back then was performed live by a traveling theater troupe.

 As famous as Vitruvian Man is, he would had been even more famous had this not been a rare instance of Leo’s impeccable timing failing him. He drew it in 1492, the year another Italian got all the press.

 If the Mona Lisa is said to represent artistic perfection, why isn’t she hotter? Just wondering.

 Also, I wonder if the unwashed 16th-century masses ever snickered at terms like “worm screw.” I wouldn’t, of course.

 Imagine the confusion that would wrack modern society if we were all named according to the da Vinci Code  first name/hometown. Although I think Leonardo da Von Ormy has a certain ring to it.

(Photo by Robert Johnson/hand model, J.T. Washam-Morgan)

Take the glory of Leo home with you in the form of an action figure!

 The most exciting stuff I found was in the gift shop. For a mere $10.50, you can have your very own Leonardo action figure! The plastic Leo comes equipped with an easel and some interchangeable paintings, including the Mona Lisa, of course. Made by fine Italian craftsmen? Nope. Made in China.

 The other gift-shop item that caught my eye was an art kit that purports to inspire you to draw like Leo. It had a tiny image of Vitruvian Man on the front. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that a key, uh, element of one of Leo’s most famous creations had been airbrushed out. Which element? Well, let’s just say the “Penis Man” label no longer fits.