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After feeling deflated and unloved I was on a mission to find a girlie film that would make me laugh! I flicked threw the free movies on my Amazon Fire Stick and came across this film, For A Good Time, Call..

It was awesome! Completely what I needed to pick me up and make myself feel better.

In a nut shell it’s about two women living in New York that find themselves setting up their owns phone sex line! It’s hilariously funny and a definite must watch!

All day I have looked forward to the five minutes it takes my youngest daughters dad to drop her off..

The problem with me and her dad is that we didn’t end on bad terms, if we had it would be so much easier to get over him. When she was born, she was ill. Really ill. She spent months in hospital and it tore us apart we just couldn’t cope with the strain and stress put on our relationship and when she came home from hospital things didn’t change she was still ill and we didn’t have time for ‘us’. So we split up.

As time went on I was still concentrating fully on our daughter, he on the other hand had met someone else. I felt hurt and deflated, I guess I always thought we’d just one day end up back together.

After a year or so they broke up and suddenly he started to show an interest in me again, we were texting, going out and behaving like we were together. But it was a secret, nobody knew. After six months I said enough was enough. I needed clarity. I was madly in love with him again! I told him I needed to be a couple officailaly or we needed to end whatever we were. I explained my feelings and he simply walked away. Again I was left heartbroken. He didn’t want a relationship at the time and he didn’t walk away because he was an arse he just wasn’t ready for what I wanted and I respected that. I just wish I’d have none this six months prior.

A few months later I discovered he had another girlfriend. I was furious!! I hated him, but I loved him. He was with her for just over a year before they eventually ended.

Which brings me to today.. we’ll kind of.

For the past few weeks he has been acting different. Talking, hanging around when he’s dropping our daughter off, texting me. Which isn’t normal. He even complimented me!

So of course I get the attention from him once again and the feeling of hope comes back!

When he arrived to drop our daughter of this afternoon I made sure I looked good and secretly hoped he would want to stay for a bit and give me some attention. Which he did! We sat in the sun and watched our daughter playing in the hot tub whilst we chatted. After about thirty minutes he left as he had made plans to meet his friend at the pub. It drives me crazy that I can’t get him out of my head! Even after he left he was all I could think about!

..Why does he make me feel like this! I love him but clearly we aren’t meant to be together! I wish I could get over him and move on but I can’t. He never hurt me, ok he hurt me by being with other people but he didn’t do it to spite me.. It sometimes would have been easier I think if he had done something awful to end our relationship.

But still, even though I know this will never become what I want, I’ll reply to every text he sends with hope. Hoping this could be the right time for us?

So at midnight last night everyone got their email to tell them which school their child had got into. I waited up to check , midnight came and so did the email.. Thankfully Daisy got into her first choice! I was relived, I had half expected her to be accepted anyway as her older sister goes to the school and we live just over the road, had Lily not already been there the outcome could have been not so pleasant.

The second thing I did was stalk the other mums awaiting their yes or no answer on Facebook. The first parent wrote that her child hadn’t got in, the second also wrote that their child hadn’t got in, then third parent wrote that their child hadn’t got in.. I must have seen several disappointed Facebook status before seeing one parent posting that their child had got in.

I quickly realised that one of the parents lives on the same estate I live on, two streets behind my house to be exact and their daughter hadn’t got in! This most certainly meant Daisys best friend at nursery hadn’t got in either, she lived further away. I was heartbroken. I wrote a private message to her mum and said if she wanted any help with the appeal I’m here to help! I could see she hadn’t been active on Facebook for a few hours so didn’t await a response.

I laid in bed, I couldn’t sleep! I was so upset for all the parents that I’d seen hadn’t had their childs place offered to them. These were my daughters friends! Friends that she has such good close relationships with, they would be now be taken away from her. I guess I shouldn’t moan really, this could have been us without a place!

Eventually I fell asleep. I woke to a reply to the message I had sent. It was worse than I thought! Not only had she not been offered her first place, but she hadn’t been offered any of the choices she had requested. She had been offered a place at a school in a complete different post code! She was devastated. Heartbroken. Confused. Surly the point in the system is that you get at least one of the chosen choices. She had expected to possibly not get into her first choice. She didn’t live next door, she didn’t have any other children already attending the school but she did expect her second choice. Her second choice is a 5 minute walk from her house, it would be classed as her local school. She can see the school from her garden! It seems strange. We discussed her options over messages then I set of to school

Arriving at nursery with Daisy was just awful. So many sad faced parents. It seems that only children that had been offered their first choice were children with a sibling already in the school. I then learned that nobody had received their second, third or forth choice! I find that so strange! Has an error been made?

I believe the system needs to change, new builds are built with no additional schooling in our area on what seems like a regular basis. Since my eldest daughter Lily was offered her place 5 years ago, 3 estates have been built surrounding the estate in which I live. Where on earth are all those children supposed to go?

I hope for all the parents that were disappointed this morning either grow to love their given schools, find alternatives or win on their appeals!

I used to love books, but after having children I found the only books I read were ones aimed at the children. If I were lucky Id read a few pages of a magazine I just never had the time to read anymore!

So for my birthday (Which was in August) the girls were pestering me for ideas of what to get me, so I asked for Khloe Kardashian’s book. Strong looks better naked. A few months previous to them asking I had started to watch the TV series of Keeping Up With The Kardashians and at the point of them asking I was up to the series in which Khloe was writing her book. I had fallen in love with the TV series, after years of listening to others saying the Kardashians were a load of crap.. so I thought if her book was anything like she was on screen id love it.

8 months later, I have finished the book! It took a while to read, not because it was dull or hard to get into but because that’s how hard I find it to get some free time to just sit and read.

It was an amazing read! I read it from start to finish constantly nodding my head, relating to the words she was writing. This book gave me the kick I needed to go join weight watchers, buy myself a fit bit and flush out the negativity in my life.

As I read through the book it changed my perception on a lot of things. Before I had joined other weight loss classes and stuck at them for the first few weeks then give up! The book made me see that changing my diet was a life change not just a quick fix. If I wanted to seriously become ‘strong’ in mind body and soul I would need to change my mind set. I needed to incorporate exercise and structure. I needed to eat mindfully! Its all good and well telling me I can eat as much pasta as I want but the old me would sit there and eat the full packet! I knew subconsciously that I was cheating myself but my mind set was not on becoming a different person. The old me was still grasping at the binge eating and hopes that I would just wake up one day and be skinny. Khloe made me realise the old me isn’t going to help create the healthier, strong me. She made me see that to feel better in myself I would need to make change to the way in which other people have an impact on my life. The negative people around me were only making me feel negative. The moaning and bitching was completely irrelevant to my life and was so draining. I removed myself from the situations. I cut my ties and I feel so much better for doing so.

I am far from where I want to be, but I have taken the steps to begin the journey. The steps I wouldn’t have taken had I not read this book.

Khloe Kardashian is an inspiration to! Before I watched the TV series and read her book I didn’t understand what she was about. I thought like many others do she was simply famous for being famous. How very wrong that was! She is a very strong and clever lady! She certainly has impacted my life and made me want to change for the better. We all deal with crap! We all struggle with certain things! But ultimately its down to us to pave our path.

Anyone that needs a bit of inspiration in relation to weight loss, fitness, inner strength, mindfulness, soul searching or anyone that’s after a good read! I would recommend Khloe Kardashian, Strong looks better naked!

I love the girls been at home, I love spending time with them.. it was only yesterday I was writing about how sad I were that they hadn’t spent the Easter Sunday with me.. but I can not wait for tomorrow!

Tomorrow Daisy goes back to nursery and Lily goes back to school!

Back to school for us means we get our routine back! Yay! & as an added bonus I also have the week off work! Which I am very much looking forward to as I can get so many jobs done around the house.. Or at the very least ill get to watch more Mr Robot without any interruptions from the girls.

As I am writing this post I have just noticed the time! Already past 6pm which means the routine of get the kids to bed can begin!

The only downside to back to school tomorrow is that as soon as the girls are in their beds I have to get the ironing board out and iron the uniforms that have been screwed up in the bottom of their wardrobe for the past fortnight. At least I can do it whilst watching KUWTK in peace!

As a child Easter was a family occasion where we celebrated Easter together. We were either away on holiday together or spent it at home with a big family dinner.

Today I found myself alone for the majority of the day. Which, as lovely as that was getting to sit down and watch some TV, it was so sad.

(Daisy was at her dads & Lily was at home but then left at 11am to go to her dads.)

I would have loved to have both girls here at home! Going to Sunday Service this morning, hunting for Easter Eggs, eating a family dinner before snuggling up to watch a film and stuffing our faces with chocolate!

As much as I would never stop the girls visiting their dads I do wish that for certain celebrations they were home with me. A mid-week Egg hunt is just not the same! It kind of takes the Easter aspect out of Easter. It just becomes an Egg hunt.