"Ianto?" Jack called. Ianto came jogging down. "Did you...
help the bonding in any way?"

Ianto smiled. "I did get a bit of messy stuff from the Doctor
to insert. Xander said it only had to be present and that way you're
not alone after I'm gone." He took a kiss. "Is it his?"

"Dawn's lactating but that's not conclusive," Owen said.

"We can run paternity."

"We'll probably run into Doc and the little Doc soon," Jack decided.
He stared at him. "I...."

"I looked it over. If I hadn't, you'd be more miserable when I
died," he said quietly. "Plus he needed it as well. He won't
have more than a rudimentary link but it's still something to help you
when I die after a wonderful night in bed sometime soon." His eyes
pled with Jack to understand.

Jack huffed. "Stupid hormone, I almost sniffled." Ianto
gave him a quick hug then went back to his desk. He looked at Owen,
who pulled out the needle he'd need. Jack took off his shirt and
let Owen fire back up the ultrasound machine. It was something they
needed to know. Though why Dawn lactated for the Doctor's kid he
wasn't sure. Maybe it was the Key or something.

Who knew sometimes with Dawn. Things were weird around the magic
stuff.

***

Xander paused, looking up from what he was working on. "That's
the protections I have around him," he muttered.

"What?" one of the other linguists asked.

"Some protections I have around someone just went off." The other
linguist gave him an odd look. He found his cellphone on the messy
desk and called. "Are you all right?" He listened to the voice
he hadn't heard in years. "How in the hell, Doc?" He blinked
a few times. "Yes, please. No, I'm on Nila. Come here.
We might need the stabilizing effects."

He hung up and called Dawn, who was still walking botanists around.
"It's me. My protections on Doc just went off. Well, he sounded
like Ten," he admitted. He hung up on her complaining. She
wasn't happy. "She must be lactating again so that means Ianto did
slip something into their bonding, like Evan thought," he muttered.

He got back to work. It could take hours for Doc to get here.
He did text Radek since he was on Atlantis. That way Rodney would
be warned if they needed the medical facilities. He looked over at
the whirring, magically moving things out of the Tardis' way. The
Doctor leaned out. It was Ten. "How in the hell?"

"I don't know. I remember a pounding headache and then suddenly
I reverted."

"No, it was an act against you. My protections went off, Doc."
He walked over to do a sensing. He saw the flashes. "Looks
like you're going to go back further too. So let's work to stop this."
He walked him into the Tardis. Evan and Cam walked in.

"Guys, take the baby for a few?" he asked, sounding calm. He looked
him over again then worked to counter the magic. Donna's spirit,
who was still inside him, was helping. "Thank you, Donna Noble,"
he murmured as he worked. The baby squealed and grabbed Evan to hold.
"Hey, precious. You stay there." He saw the flickering and
worked against the spell. It snapped.

He was still Nine again. Then he was Ten, then back to Nine.
Xander added more power and energy to the spell to stop it. That
settled him. He read him again, letting Cam get him a bottle of water.
"Well," he said, looking at Ten. "You're not quite you."

"Am I going to change again?" he asked, sounding tired.

"Yeah, you might go backward or forward at the moment. I think
it's so you can access the strengths of all three."

"Who?" Evan asked.

"Not the coven's head."

"The other guardian?" the Doctor demanded.

"Yup." He concentrated. "Yeah, they so did that," he muttered.
He fixed something else and it was eased. "There, now it should be
when you want to change you will." He stared at him. "Think
really hard about Nine for a second?"

"It does ache to do that," he complained.

"That's because he was more bulky and had more muscle mass, Doc."
He looked him over. "I can't do a healing spell. It might hurt
you unintentionally." The Doctor concentrated and switched then to
Eleven then back to Ten, frowning. Xander grinned. "Easier?"

"Much. Why did he do this?"

"I don't know but you weren't going to have any memories of the later
ones. He was going to revert you all the way back to the first one
and let you live another set of lives. You might not have regenerated
into the same form. It could be that he didn't want to lose you.
It might be that he was hoping to do something that you wouldn't have memories
of. Donna stopped that."

"Yes, I can hear her complaining about him," he said, rubbing his forehead.
The baby was staring at him, not quite sure what to make of all this.
He took the baby to hold. "It's all right. I'm the same father
I was before." The baby grabbed his nose and glasses. "No,
I rather need those." He took them off and put them into his pocket
with a smile. "There." The baby cooed and put his head down,
waving at Evan with a grin.

"Hi, Little Doc," he said with a grin back. "We should scan him,"
he told Xander.

"I called Dawn. She's on Ever with the wandering botanists."

Cam went to the house to yell for her. She came jogging and got
the Doctor there to scan him for Owen and Jack's help. While she
played with the baby. The botanists were stunned but oh well.

Xander looked at Evan and shrugged. "No clue but I think you won
that bet."

"I know I won that bet. Ianto had a used condom," he said dryly.
He took a kiss. "Tardis, we'll bring him back in a bit, okay?
He's on Ever." They walked out together. "You really need to
expand this office," he said dryly.

"I can't. It's cold iron."

"I know." He patted him and left him to consider what was going
on.

Xander found his phone again and called someone. "Clorisma, it's
Xander. Can you please ask your husband what the hell his counterpart
was thinking?" He listened. "Yeah, that's why.
No, I stopped it at Nine but I can't guarantee he can't get back to them
too." He listened to her tell him that. He groaned and said
'good job' but that was probably just a bad plan. "We sure?"
He nodded. "Okay then. I'll let him know. Thanks."
He hung up and went to his house to blip to Ever. "The old guy of
the coven said it might've been a bad plan but I still think feel non-malevolent
feelings."

"I don't know. Think about one of the early ones. See if
you can get back to them." He gave him a horrified look and did that
then came back to Ten with a groan. Xander grinned. "That may
make things easier sometimes."

"It may," he agreed dryly. "But it's not making my head hurt any
less."

Xander gave him a hug. "It's possible that it was meant so you
couldn't get a final incarnation."

The Doctor stared at him. "It might," he sighed. He looked
at his son, who was sucking up to Dawn. "Is Jack pregnant?"
She nodded with a smirk. "Is that why you're...." He waved
a hand.

"I'm pretty sure it is."

"Why?" the Doctor asked casually.

Evan coughed as he walked into the medical center. "Because we
caught Ianto with a used condom," he said quietly. "That way Jack
doesn't go batshit crazy when he finally dies."

The Doctor considered that. "That's most ...odd."

Xander smirked. "Nine would've sworn."

"I am mentally but I try not to in front of my son." He took him
to hold. "Well, what shall we do about this?"

"Take a few days and think," Xander said with a shrug. "I can't
find a way to undo it." The Doctor stared at him. "If I hadn't
stopped it, you'd be back in Five or Six right now. Quickly moving
back to One."

The Doctor shook his head. "No thank you. Though we will
have to work out this whole clothing issue. My former incarnations
weren't all splendid dressers like I am or Eleven is."

Xander smirked. "Why did you wear that celery stick pinned to
your lapel?"

"You know, I don't remember right off," he admitted with a smirk.

Xander stared at him. "We can work on something so the size and
height changes don't ruin your clothes."

"That may help, yes. What am I going to do about this?"

"I don't know. But if you have to show up somewhere that had seen
you before, you can switch back."

"Will he get stuck if someone tries to do something?" Dawn asked.

"No. The spell going on completely killed the barriers between
incarnations." He looked at the Doctor again. "So sometimes
you can be One if you want to be or you can be Eleven and go drive Amy
insane again."

"Amy will be insane about my son," he admitted. "Rose would be
cackling about all this." Xander smiled. "I know, those two
would clash badly."

"At least Amy doesn't have a real crush on you."

"No, thankfully." He looked at his staring son. "I don't
know, it's not how things usually happen."

Xander's phone beeped. He looked at the message. "Shit,
another one?" He waved and disappeared, going to Atlantis to find
another former 'pet Xander' owner. This one actually a female.
"Did we have a temporal breach?" he asked casually.

"Well, yes. But you predicted that one." She smiled.

Xander stared at her. "Radek, this is Helate. This is Radek,
the husband."

She smiled at him and held out her hand. He shook it. "Well
met, Radek. I know I couldn't keep his interest in the long term.
Xander, can you help me get home?"

"Yup." He summoned his wardrobe and got her into it, taking her
home. Then he came back. A few of the new people were giving
him odd looks. He smirked. "Radek helped with my precision."
He looked at Radek. "Doc's having a problem. The other guardian
let him switch between numbers," he said quietly. "He's on Ever with
Dawn."

"I will go calm him down." He took the wardrobe with him.
Xander flashed back to his office to get back to work. The Doctor
would show up when he wanted to talk. Right then he had looked like
he wanted to cuddle his son. Xander was going over what had happened
and the spell at the moment to find something new he could do to help.
Though it was nice to have the old Doctors back sometimes. Eleven
was a bit...odd now and then.

The other linguists were all staring at him. "Xander, is that
something we're working on?" one asked finally.

"No, I'm looking up a reference for someone," he admitted. "Why?"
He looked over at them.

"Is it for that same being that just showed up?"

"Yup. Someone screwed with him and is upsetting his son."

"He has a son?" that linguist asked.

"Yeah. He's a cute baby." He handed over the picture with
a grin. "Likes to puke on Rodney." He went back to his research
then sent the book, once he had put a sticky note in place, to Dawn.
Then he got back to his real job.

"Xander, was that maybe a Tardis that appeared?" another one asked quietly.

Xander smirked. "No comment." They all groaned. "How
far along are we on these new parts?"

"About sixty percent," one sighed, getting back to it. Xander
wasn't a slave driver but they were suddenly getting a lot of work from
another source. They weren't sure who Eterna was but she wasn't an
AI they knew.

***

The Ninth Doctor showed up for dinner, sitting down next to Xander and
Evan. Evan took the baby since he was reaching for him and cooing.
"Hey, Little Doc." He let him grab some of his vegetables to eat.

"That's freaky, I never wanted veggies," Xander quipped.

"Not everyone can thrive on twinkies," the Doctor said with a smirk.

"True." They shared a smirk. "Did it help?"

"Quite a lot actually. I feel much more settled yet still
very creeped out." He took his son back. "You can eat your
own food, not his. Evan needs to eat so Xander can keep him up all
night."

Evan snorted, shaking his head. "I have military drills in the
morning. There's no squealing for me tonight." John, Rodney,
and Radek walked in together. "We're all here," he quipped.

"I thought that bit of quietness I have now was him," the Doctor said
quietly.

Xander looked at him. "You're only partially linked in to them,
Doc. I promise it's not the full thing."

"I realize that."

"That's the other reason you're not back at the beginning."

"Which is a nice thought. I dress much better now." The
baby fussed, staring at Rodney.

"As long as you don't vomit on me this time," he sighed, taking the
baby to hold. "How did this happen?"

"The Black Guardian," Xander said quietly. "So far no one's talked
to him yet. Thankfully Donna and Ianto's little helpful thing both
made sure that he kept all his memories."

"Interesting," Radek said, taking the baby to hold as he sat down.
The baby beamed at him and tried for his glasses. "No, must not have.
I need them to see." He kissed the fingers then held them.
The baby fussed but stared at Mira when she climbed up. "Yes, it
is your nest and cribmate." He let the baby sit on the table with
the dragons. They cooed and petted the baby, making him happy.

"Some day I'll have to see if he wants a sacred egg of his own," the
Doctor quipped. They all smirked. "What are we going to do
about this?"

Xander shrugged. "I couldn't see a way to undo it. Maybe
if I was there, but not without causing a massive paradox."

"No, I'd rather not see another of those," he decided. He petted
the two dragons, earning happy snuffles, though Armand stared. "It
was one of the higher beings," he told him. The dragon seemed happy
enough with that explanation and went back to playing with the baby.

Rodney shook his head at Mira's antics. "Don't anticipate one
of those for our own for years yet, Mira." She huffed but ignored
him. He looked at the Doctor, who smirked. "We did put that
quilt safely away, Xander?"

"Yeah." He grinned. "Though, Nila said if more spores happened
on Atlantis, she'd put it in a nice gathering area so her daughter city
could have more family."

"Keller would kill us all," John said with a smirk.

"I wasn't too thrilled myself for a day but he's worth all the heartburn,
gas, and stomach cramps I had," the Doctor sighed. Cam walked in
and stared. Xander waved him over. "You lot should be eating."
They went to get food, and seconds for Xander, then came back with an extra
tray for him and the baby. The cooks had seen the baby and chopped
up some vegetables for him. "Ah, thank you," he called with a smile
and a wave. He settled in to feed the baby, ignoring the begging
dragons. "You have human feeding slaves," he reminded them when Mira
tried to capture the spoon.

Rodney waved his fork and she shifted over to eat half his dinner for
him. "Now I see why I've lost ten pounds."

"Pants fit again?" John quipped.

"Yes." He huffed.

Armand looked at his human, who grinned and gave him half the stuff
on his plate and Evan's. "Hey!" Evan complained. A few of the
biologists brought them food to nibble on. "Thanks for saving my
dinner, guys."

"I would've fed you more," Xander said with a wink.

"I still have military drills tomorrow." He stuffed his mouth.

John snickered. "Don't remind me." He finished his and Mira
leaned over to eat his plate on him. "Thanks, Mira, very helpful."

Armand scarfed the other plates once they were clean, and the trays.
"Are we starved?" Xander asked dryly. "Are you two growing again?"
They both purred at him. "That explains why you've been so hungry
tonight." He shook his head.

"The only thing they won't try to eat is a dirty diaper," Rodney reminded
him.

"Yeah, that was funny when they ran from the first one." He petted
Armand.

The Doctor looked at him. "They are very fun and unique beings."
He petted Armand then Mira when she pouted at him. "You're both horribly
spoiled." They meeped and cuddled in better. The baby was napping
so it was fine.

Cam stared at the baby, then at the Doctor. "He seems like he's
a nice boy."

"He is a very nice boy. Hardly ever gets cranky with me.
When he does, we watch time stream past us and it's soothing."

"Just wait until the terrible twos," John joked with a smirk.

"Would that be two's, twenties, or two hundreds?" Rodney quipped back.

"I remember spending most of my two hundreds in pleasurable pursuits,"
the Doctor admitted, thinking back. "If I remember right, I had a
lot of fun."

Xander snickered. "No need for a fake ID?" he teased.

"No, I looked particularly old at that time," he agreed dryly.
"Though I do remember being a child. I didn't have many tantrums."
He shook his head quickly. "Do we have any idea why Dawn did what
she did spontaneously?"

"Owen dropped her down under hypnosis," Xander said quietly. "It
was the Key welcoming the new race of Time Lords. They're meant to
be her foil in power levels." The Doctor stared at him. "You
have control of time and space and it would have control of dimensional
time and space."

"Good point. I hadn't considered that." He patted his son's
stomach since he was curled up between the plates. "So she's
nurturing the new race?" Xander smiled and nodded. "There's
only two of us."

Radek shook his head. "I heard what she said. 'Not all that
travel through time are Time Lords but for this it is the same' to quote
her."

The Doctor gaped then looked at Xander. "That's almost a quote
I told your heads when they showed up in London," he said calmly.

"Well." He cleared his throat. "That's... odd."

"She was also counting Rose," Radek told him, earning a small smile.
"She said something about it not being totally the same but it was better
anyway."

"True, it is." He relaxed. "What about you two?" he asked
Rodney.

"Apparently in the future you sent me to stop France in this time zone,
a few times," Rodney said. "We've heard a hint that someone does
fulfill his vision about the temporal displacement issue on Atlantis."

The Doctor blinked. "That would be a powerful engine."

"Unless someone like me intervened and created a fake border," Xander
countered. "Which would still leave it but it would be shrunk some
to anyone outside the city. Like the Tardis' space encompassing spells."

"Yeah, the guy was basically using magic without realizing it.
There's a book on it at the coven's library. How do you think I made
mine?" They all stared at him so he smirked back. "I had a
broken ankle. I couldn't even weed the garden. Armand hadn't
hatched yet. I got *real* bored and Clorisma sent me a bunch of esoteric
works to look through to see if anything like that interested me for a
major working I'd have to prove myself with."

"I would like to look that book over," the Doctor said casually.

"I copied it. It's in my library. On the west shelf."
That got a smirk. "By the way, I saw the Time Lord's version of the
Ori freakish bitch again."

"The Rani?" the Doctor asked.

"Yup. River Song was around here somewhere yesterday and I kicked
her off. She just smirked and left when I spotted her. I checked,
she didn't get near Nila, just stared at the docked labs."

"Did we do a systems check?" Rodney asked. "I remember running
into her that once and there was something odd about her."

"I'm pretty sure the Rani and the Time Lords were originally the same
people," Xander said. "So they're like the Ori for the Doc."

"She was cast out, like the Master," the Doctor admitted. "The
last I knew she wasn't River Song however. I have forward hints that
I traveled with Doctor Song."

Xander stared at him. "That didn't make her good."

"I gave her my old screwdriver."

Xander stared at him. "What did you tell me? Always watch
out for the Rani, she'd want to keep me...."

"And watch out for the Toymaker, he's a bit of a twisted being who'd
definitely want to keep you," he finished. "Are you certain?"

"She was wearing a time dilation crystal." The Doctor gave him
an odd look. "Which could've only come from two spots in the universe.
Both of which you have hidden."

"She knew my original name."

Xander nodded. "She's about your age too," he said dryly.
"Did we perhaps go to school with her?"

"Not that I remember." He thought back then shook his head.
"She was before my time. I don't see how she and River Song can be
the same."

"How would a mere Companion get into a place that's trapped in a time
vortex?" Xander countered.

"Time vortex?" Rodney asked.

"Yes, they're all over the time stream and they make me Tardis-sick,"
Xander said with a grin. "I calmed a few down before I puked."
He looked at the Doctor. "Not even *I* can get into those two without
you knowing."

He considered that. "The Sontarans were supposed to have four
somewhere in a museum but they were lost to time supposedly when someone
realized how much problems they could bring. The Daleks supposedly
had one on their home world as well." He frowned. "How would
she get back that far to get one? I'd never visit either of those
places."

"Neither would the Tardis, or mine," Xander said. "I made sure
I blocked out the Sontaran homeworld as a 'no-go' place. By the way,
caught a Weeping Angel the other day and blew it to hell. Someone
shipped it to the Mountain as a diplomatic present."

The Doctor smiled. "Excellent. Any others?"

"Not yet but I am hearing rumors or a single Sontaran down here somewhere.
I haven't been able to track it and neither has Ianto."

"Do let me know."

Xander pointed at the baby. "Hell no. A single one we can
handle." He stared at him. "I will be able to if Jack can't
because his stomach gets in the way."

"True. You did handle most of a battle troupe that once."
He gave him a dirty look.

"You had the flu," Xander reminded him with a grin. "Not like
I was going to take Rose to the ambush."

"How accurate was the show?" one of the chemists said as he sat down
with his tray next to Radek.

Xander smirked. "It was Jack's idea so some people realized when
they showed up. That way anytime a floating art deco trashcan with
weapons shows up you can go 'Dalek' and blow it to hell."

"Why?" the chemist asked. "I realize why we needed to know but
why do that over so long?"

"So it wouldn't be forgotten when the next big bad thing comes," Xander
said simply. The Doctor glared at him. "We've had two this
century."

"True. I'm hoping I never have to run into another Dalek again."

"I've built him a safety pod," Radek said quietly. The Doctor
beamed at him for that. "It will take him from anywhere to Dawn or
one of us."

"Thank you, Radek."

"It is no problem but we know you, like Xander, cannot stay out of trouble."
Dawn strolled in wearing leather pants and a halter top. "Going home
to tempt your boyfriend?" he teased with a smile.

"Yuppers." She kissed Xander on the cheek. "They're behaving
and Eterna will call. I need nookie."

"Sure, I'll pop around tonight," he promised. She beamed and kissed
the Doctor on the cheek before strolling off. "I think her sister
taught her that move," he sighed.

"That was almost exactly like Jack's swagger," Rodney countered with
an evil smirk. "Especially when he wanted Ianto's attention on his
ass."

"True. So maybe she does get it naturally." The Doctor snickered.
"She's going to be a wonderful sister."

"She will, yes." He relaxed. "Do we think this was meant
to drive me insane?"

"No, I think he wanted you without memories of your past interactions
so he could have you do something for him," Xander admitted. "Though
it would extend your life a lot if you can't get into a twelfth incarnation."
The Doctor gave him a dirty look. "Most likely you'd just go to another
one."

"Oh." He nodded. "Hmm." He looked at his son, who
was now snoring. "You must get that from your father, son.
I've never snored."

"Amy said that was a lie," Xander said dryly. The Doctor pinched
him on the arm. "She did!"

"He mate did too." He smiled at them. "It'll be fine."
They all smirked. "Though I have no idea how to babyproof the Tardis."

"She won't let him get into anything he shouldn't. She's already
kept him out of the garden I put in."

"True, which is nice. Though we do go in and play among the plants.
All your little protective vines adore him. They pat him on the diaper
and even tried to change him once." Xander smirked. "It was
quite odd to walk in with his bottle and find your vines stripping my poor
son down. Though they did appreciate being peed on."

"Probably needed watered," Xander said dryly.

"Probably, yes." He grinned. Xander grinned back.
"What am I going to do if Jack's is mine?"

"Take him and Ianto with you until they're mouthy teenagers? Then
let them decide to either build their own Tardis or go rescue one of the
lost ones, or even steal the one from the Rani?" Xander suggested.

"And that damnable quilt before Atlantis decides she wants children
on the city," Rodney said quickly.

"It's safely stored," Xander assured him.

"Can she get to it? She's promised to put it out if we ever get
spored again," John told him.

"Nila promised to help," Radek said, shaking his head. "As long
as it does not end up on our bed."

"Doc, before the war started, they banished a few people that didn't
agree with the Council's methodology," Xander said. He summoned that
book to hand him. "Plus any that the Paradox Faction had. I'm
guessing there's probably about twenty out there somewhere."

"I've never run into another one, Xander." Xander flipped in the
book to that section, pointing at something. "Oh, dear, they set
them adrift after making sure they could not counteract the will of the
Council."

"Now, having seen one, which was being destroyed by gamma radiation,"
Xander said dryly. The Doctor gaped at him. "I couldn't save
it. I did do the merciful thing. Her master was dead.
She was dying." The Doctor slumped but nodded. "I let mine
interface with hers and she sent out a lot of information. They were
poisoned before being sent off through the void portal."

The Doctor swallowed. "So they are out there, alone."

"I think a few dying are what caused some of the time vortex's," Xander
said.

"I hadn't thought about why some formed." He tapped his fingers
a few times. "How would we recall them?"

"Dawn."

The Doctor stared at him then smirked. "I'll do what I can."
Xander smiled and nodded. "Though, I agree, that quilt had better
be safely stored where no one else can get to it. That way I don't
have to do that again. Not that I minded but I probably would not
have chosen that manner of having a child."

"I'm not the one who put the quilt down," Xander reminded him dryly.
"Eterna did."

The Doctor and Rodney moaned, shaking their heads. "It figures,"
John decided. "The AI's all mother hen us when we need them to.
She probably decided you needed him to be happy."

"Perhaps," the Doctor sighed. He looked at the book. "When
did you get this one?"

"During the trial I confiscated a few helpful things." He smirked.
"They weren't going to need them. Better not to have them wasted."

The Doctor stared at him. "You looted the main library?"

"Yeah, especially the forbidden section." He pointed with a smirk.
"That was something they didn't want to get out."

"I can see why." He went back to reading. He hadn't known
some of this about his own people's history.

"I'm guessing they gave you the edited version, like the pilgrims story
all American children learn," John said.

"Probably," the Doctor agreed.

The new general appeared. "Xander, I think we need you...."
He stared at the Doctor. "We have a strange alien that's burbling
at us? Big head, looks like a Japanese cartoon?"

"Slitheen," the Doctor and Xander said together. "Shoot them."

"Okay, we can do that. Will a zat or a staff weapon work?"

Xander stood up. "I'll be right back." He took the general
with him, letting him catch his breath. "Sorry, it can make you dizzy
traveling by blippy." He walked into the heavily guarded area.
All the soldiers pointed. Xander stared at them. "The Doctor's
too busy to deal with you today. What did you want?" It babbled
at him. "Hell no." He snorted. "I'd leave before I call
Jack Harkness at Torchwood." The aliens babbled faster. Xander
stared at them. They squeaked and left. "And stay off Earth!"
he called. "I'm in a damn good mood today!" He left, shaking
his head. "They wanted us to send all of them to a new homeworld."

"Fat chance of that happening," John muttered.

"How likely is it that we'll have a major problem this year from something
alien?" Cam asked Rodney. "Without pushing for forward knowledge
or anything?"

Rodney, the Doctor, and Xander all shared a look. "A few years
on the wraith," Xander said quietly. "They'd stop at intervening
solar systems for rest breaks and food stops."

"I'd say they'd get here about when the doomsday cults would start to
get hyper," Rodney agreed. "We theorized about three years so 2012."

"Don't you dare," the Doctor ordered, staring at Rodney.

Rodney shook his head. "We'll be ready in time," he told Cam.
"But it won't be this year for anything but a semi-bad demon apocalypse
attempt again. At least that's what Xander's biography said."

"When did you get that?" the Doctor demanded.

"The same time." Xander smirked and summoned it, looking at that
section. "They got the time code wrong on that. That'll be
a few years. We'll have to warn Buffy when the thing start to stir."
He let him see it.

"I beat that a few years back," the Doctor complained.

"The rest of this decade, we'll have two major alien incursions," he
told them. "Neither this year." They all nodded. "But..."
He held up a finger. "Only one for UNIT or the SG to be involved
in."

"So, you guys will have one and we'll have one?" Cam asked.

"Something like that," the Doctor agreed, giving Xander a dirty look.

"Rodney, Radek, and I need to build some bigger weapons," Xander pointed
out.

"True. What did you do with that star destroyer?"

"I used it on a wraith hive."

"Huh. Good. Yes, the others won't be involved because someone
will want to do a last ditch 'we won't be taken' move," the Doctor said.

"Which I might end up in jail for after I kick his ass," Xander said.
"Jack already knows."

"He should, it was a history lesson to him."

"But... we can possibly avert that one before it gets here to make it
easier," Xander said.

The Doctor nodded. "That might help some, yes. Usually I
don't get to stop problems before they start." Xander drew out the
probabilities for him, showing him the curve. He figured out the
other options that Xander didn't usually take into account, nodding finally.
"Yes, we can do that. It might change the timeline but in a very
tiny way."

"Which won't really impact much," Xander said. "Though we will
have to unmask a politician."

"Who?" Rodney asked.

Xander smirked. "One of ours."

"Oooh. Alien?"

"Yup. Shape changer." That got a mass nod. "So we'll
do what we can to stop that one cold. Which means we'll need some
ship time," he told John and Cam, getting dual nods back. "The other
one they're going to cause a problem and UNIT will throw a fit. An
absolutely hissy, it's not your job it's ours, fit."

"The normal UNIT people will do what they have to do while the higher
ups fight," John said. "Same as the SG does."

"Yeah but they're going to be in England," Xander said dryly.
"So we'd have to be tapped to step in by UNIT or Torchwood. I was
going to remind Jack of that tomorrow actually when I had a few free hours."
He closed the book, letting the Doctor take it. He shrank them to
put in his pocket.

"Thank you. How many have read yours?" Evan and Radek raised
their hands.

"I read a few sections," Cam admitted. "It appeared on his desk
when he was in the bed after surgery on his hip."

"It's how we busted him with some of the stuff he didn't want to admit
to doing," Evan said.

"Cam thought I belonged to an Ancient Book of the Month club," Xander
quipped with a hand wave.

"Really?" he asked with a grin. "Including .... say.... that semi-bridal
present?"

The Doctor stared at him. "Why did he give you a present when
he wanted to kidnap and own me?"

"Because he thought I was your family or concubine."

"Oh. Well that's just wrong."

Xander grinned. "It's still in its storage area. Along with
the others and that would help that one situation."

The Doctor stared at him. "That would be much too future of tech
and they should not see it."

"You know, I'm privy to much future tech that I shouldn't see," Rodney
said dryly. Radek nodded. "Even without his storage areas.
Especially since, with the hints the future me has given, Atlantis will
be a Tardis someday soon."

The Doctor stared at him. "Can't we stop that?"

"No, it'll be too future changing," Xander sighed. "I can make
sure they get back. I've given them both clues in how to drive mine."

"Good!" He smirked. "Do try to hurry back."

"We'd try," John agreed.

"You'd overshoot too," Xander assured him. "I looked ahead at
what that one was saying and it's bad. We have *got* to stop the
French."

"You are not Special Forces," Radek reminded him. Xander stared
at him. "We can stop them and you will not have to act like you did
with the Trust's board." Xander beamed at him.

"We can't use the same sort of explosive anyway, it would react poorly
with the one they're trying to build," Rodney said. He sighed.
"We know who's going to do it." He pointed subtly up the table.
"He's working on his own theories."

Xander got up and walked up there, sitting next to him, but facing him.
"We have an issue we're foreseeing."

"How?" he asked.

"I've been known to do some temporal traveling."

The man nodded slowly. "What sort of issue?"

"The sort where some of your research ends the earth for good."
The man blanched. "You're working on a ZPM formula. The French
dearly want it. The French aren't going to do any better at it than
Rodney did when he had a problem with his initial calculations. That
destroyed most of a solar system." The man shook his head slowly.
"Yeah. They're wanting ZPM weapons."

"Oh, shit," he murmured. "When?"

"Within fifteen years. By the way, some of them are kinda off
in the math department. Ancient math isn't the same as ours."
He stared at him.

"I will not let that get out, Harris. Not by any means!"

"Good!" He smiled. "I'm warning you now so we can fight
it then."

"Definitely! I don't want to be responsible for it!"

"Good." Xander smiled. "Just make sure of it."

"I will. When did they get it?"

"When someone discredited part of your work here, you went there to
work with them. Basically you pulled a Daniel Jackson in the scientific
community."

"Shit!" He got up. "I'll fix them both at the same time.
Thank you for the warning, Harris."

"It's nothing we want to see, Dr. Imaran." The man walked off
shaking his head. Xander went back to his seat, looking at them.
"He'll make sure the French don't and that whatever reason got him discredited
won't."

"That may solve the most of it. They have some bits and pieces
the IOA handed over," Rodney said.

"Shit. We never told them that part." He went to call Ferretti
so he could pas that on.

Xander smiled at the Doctor. "That might help a lot."

"That probably will help a great deal. You did something similar
in Hyath."

"Yeah, I did. I went right to him and played soothsayer.
He decided he could not let that happen and made sure of it." He
stared at him. "He did the honorable thing," he finished quietly.

"That did solve it and caused another problem but it was solved with
his letter," the Doctor agreed with a small smile. "Thank you."

"Not a problem, Doc. Really." He looked at the baby.
"You're awake again?" he teased with a smile, taking him to cuddle.
"Were we too loud?" The baby played with his hair, sucking his first
two fingers for now. "Such a good baby Doctor." The baby smiled
at him. "I'm glad you're a happy baby. A fussy one would drive
Doc nuts."

"So would a daughter," the Doctor admitted dryly. "Want to sit
with me?"

"Thank your Goddess." He took his son back, earning a babbling,
happy baby. "We'll pick you up a few new toys soon, son. Martha
will help us tons."

"Yes she will. Are you going to tell Amy?"

"Quite." He smiled. "She'll dote on the little one.
The same as Sarah Jane will."

"She's got a son," Xander said with a smug look. "We can call
a Companion's conference at Torchwood if you want."

"Please. I'd like to introduce him to them." Xander got
into his cellphone to text everyone. The rest of them followed.
They were Xander's companions and Xander had been his so they wanted to
talk. Rodney did show up with his own band, which got snatched by
Ianto.

***

Xander landed in Scotland, looking at the modest little house.
"That's sweet," he said, walking up to the door to knock. "Amy."

"Do I know you?" she asked dryly.

"I'm Xander. Doc sent me to pick you up. The other Companions
are meeting tonight." He grinned. "C'mon." She grabbed
her jacket and followed him to his wardrobe.

"Why isn't yours a phone box?"

"Mine fits in better even back in ancient times," he said dryly.
"They gave phone boxes a really odd look back in Ancient Rome and things."
He opened the door.

She walked in and looked around. "Purple sparkles?"

"I was recovering after something and I decorated then." He shut
the door and took off with her.

***

Jack looked at his phone, smiling. "Doc's showing off the little
one to everyone in a bit," he told Ianto, taking a kiss. "They're
all coming here."

"That's fine." He got things ready for the invasion of people.
A few got beamed in by Martha and one got gathered by Xander himself.

They landed at Torchwood and he let her out. "Here we are."
He smirked at the others.

"You built your own?" Martha demanded.

"Yeah, a while back, Martha." He smirked. "Thought I only
had my blippy bands?"

"Yes! You're dangerous, Xander!"

"Only if you piss me off," he shot back with an evil smirk. "Just
for that, I won't show you the gift someone gave me because they wanted
to kidnap and marry Doc."

"Oh, please, no stories like that," Sarah Jane Smith complained.

Xander grinned. "Probably not." He pointed. "Amy Pond,
this is Sarah Jane, this is Martha Jones. That is Mickey, I can't
remember his last name. He's hitched to Martha. That is Jack
Harkness and his helpful mate Ianto Jones."

"Pleasure," she said, smiling and shaking hands. "Did you all
travel with him?" They all smirked and nodded. "With the same
one I have?"

"No, I did mostly Nine and Ten," Jack said.

"I did get to meet a few of them," Sarah Jane admitted.

"Yes, I seemed to see a lot of Ten," Martha said with a grin.

"I got Nine and Ten," Mickey said. "How is Eleven?"

"A bit odd. Always going odd in the head and off on tangents.
When he showed up he didn't know what he wanted to eat but I cooked him
a ton of things and then he kept spitting them out. It was like he
wasn't used to normal food."

"He's not," they all agreed.

"Xander made him eat coffee flavored slugs," Jack said with a grin at
Xander.

"They were good slugs," Xander said with a shrug. The others showed
up with the Doctor. "These are part-time companions who have also
traveled with me. This is Colonel John Sheppard, Dr. Rodney McKay,
Colonel Evan Lorne and Dr. Radek Zelenka, who are mine, and that is Dr.
Kusangi. Hi, Miko. I didn't expect you."

"I needed to talk to Owen about something," she said with a blush.

"He should be wobbling back to complain that Dawn jumped him soon,"
Jack said with a grin. "You were on Ever with us, you can wait, Miko."

"Thank you." She smiled at the baby. "May I?"

"Of course." He handed him over. "He does adore you, Miko."
He smiled at the shocked looks on everyone but the new one's faces.
"Xander has a quilt that can get anyone who has relations on it pregnant."

"Yes he does," Jack said dryly.

Martha stared at him. "You're clearly showing now."

"Yes I am," he sighed. He sat down. "She weighs a ton too."

"She?" the Doctor asked with a smile. Jack nodded. "Hmm.
Dawn will be pleased to have someone to shop with."

"Yes she will," Xander agreed. "Guys, this is the Little Doc."
They all crowded around to coo at him, even Martha and Mickey.

Amy looked at him. "You changed already?"

"No, someone kindly sent me back to a prior incarnation. I can
change a bit now and then when I want to." He went back to Nine,
getting a punch on the arm from Martha. "Xander had to stop the Black
Guardian's idea."

Martha looked at Xander. "Can't we help him stick in one?"
He shook his head. "So he can change?"

"Yup, and thanks to Donna being sucked into him when he regenerated
from Ten to Eleven, he has all his memories still. So it's like Doctor
MPD."

"Well, at least they're not lost," she decided, giving him a hug.
"The baby's still quite adorable."

"I'm thinking about how to baby proof the Tardis," he admitted.
He sat down and let them fuss over the baby and him. It was a companion's
right to fuss.

Amy looked at him. "Does that mean you'll be settling down for
a bit?"

"No, but I'll be handling less dangerous things until he's older.
Can't get into a situation where we could all die with him around."

"I built a pod to take him to one of us in case of emergency," Radek
told them. They all smiled at him for that. He and Evan were
fluttering over Xander.

"Xander, why did you make such a quilt?" Sarah Jane asked. "Were
you going to use it?"

"No, someone else who wanted me in that special way made it. I
just stole it when I escaped her plans for a little Xander." She
and Amy gaped. "Yeah. When I was traveling on my own, a lot
of people thought I'd look wonderfully cute as slave girl Xander.
Just like Princess Leia."

"We burned all those outfits that reminded us of her slavegirl outfit,"
Evan assured him. Xander smiled and kissed him.

"So, how did he get knocked up then?" Mickey asked. Jack gave
him a pointed look. Mickey blushed and ducked his head. "I
didn't know he did that!"

"Not very often at my age," the Doctor quipped sarcastically.
"When you get older you'll realize that happens less and less."

"That's why humans created viagra," Amy quipped with a grin.

"And why Owen took that spore plant and put it into a sexual lubricant,"
Radek assured them.

Martha gaped. "*The* spore plant?" They all smirked and
nodded. "Well, hell, I know people who'd pay a mint for that."

"The SGC needs funding," Evan quipped.

"Clearly," she decided. She shook her head quickly.

"Spore?" Mickey asked.

"It's a pretty silver flower that vomits a spore every six months.
The spore's whole purpose is to make people screw and have babies," Xander
said. "It'll encourage you to find the most fertile person you can
and do that. That's how the spores get onto the ground with enough
biological contributions to plant itself." Mickey shivered.
"For many days after you get hit."

"Four of them," the Doctor said with a nod.

"It sounds dangerous," Sarah Jane said.

"It's found all over the universe," Jack told her. "A lot of people
like it because it encourages population growth. It's also started
a few wars about whose baby it was. I've seen whole marketplaces
fall down to screw because of that plant."

"I saw a whole city do it," John said dryly. "Twice."

Amy gaped. "Why would you need something like that?"

"It's an alternative to viagra and will make their project a lot of
money," Mickey told her with a shrug. "Being their project is expensive,
just like being in UNIT is."

"Especially with the new ship building," Rodney said smugly.

Martha pouted. "You're building more than the new ones?"
He smirked and nodded. "Are we getting one?"

"We'll see. Talk to O'Neill."

"I'll do that tomorrow." She cooed at the baby. "You're
so adorable!"

"We are not ready for one of those," Mickey complained. She hit
him on the arm. "Ow!"

Sarah Jane snickered. "He's sweet enough to make me want another
one and mine's a teenager." She took the baby to hold. "Hello
there, young man." She got cuddled and cooed at. "You're very
friendly."

"Dawn fed him," Jack told her with a grin.

"She's had one?" she demanded. "At her age? I know Owen
knows what birth control is!"

"She spontaneously started to produce milk," Ianto told her.

"Awww. That's sweet of her." She cooed at the baby, making
him babble back at her. The others cooed at that.

The Doctor sat down next to Jack. "So, should we be talking perhaps?"
he asked.

Jack looked at him. "Who's his father?" he asked quietly.

"Ianto as it turns out." Ianto blushed but smiled. "He'll
definitely dress very well." He winked at him then looked at Jack,
who sighed and nodded. "Xander suggested we travel together for the
safety of the children until they're teenagers and ready to learn to build
their own."

"It would be much safer." He rubbed his stomach. The Doctor
rubbed it as well. Martha smiled at them. Amy gave them an
odd look. "The quilt," Jack told her.

"It can really do that to human males?" Xander smirked and nodded.
"Oh, dear."

"He's the only American companion outside of Jack," Ianto said with
a smile for him.

"I'm only part American so he can have that honor." Xander walked
into his wardrobe and came back with a bag, handing it over. "Oh,
I adore you," he moaned, eating one of the candies. He let Ianto
have one with a smile. "I crave these things now and then."

He tasted it. "Made with those figs you like?" he asked.

"And some special seaweed," Xander said with a grin. "Another
pet-keeping Xander ex made them and I got him hooked." He smirked.
"I did plant some of that seaweed on Ever in the pond. The greenhouse
has a tree of those figs too."

"Don't tempt me," Jack ordered, eating another one. "I'll get
too fat to waddle." He handed the bag to Ianto to put up for him.
"That way I'm not too fat to walk later either."
Ianto smirked at him but put the bag in his pocket. "Do you think
ours will be that sweet?"

"No, she'll be an unearthly tease," Xander told him dryly, giving him
a look. "The same as the other one is."

"True, Dawn does live up to my standards there." Dawn and Owen
walked in and she cooed. The baby squealed and reached for her so
she cuddled him.

"As long as we don't bring one of those home," Owen complained, shaking
his head. He looked at Ianto and Jack. "Tired?" he taunted
with a smirk.

"A little bit. You?" Jack shot back with an evil smirk of his
own.

"Very. Your daughter is still barmy."

"Dear, for that, you don't get blown tonight," Dawn quipped with a look
at him.

"I doubt I could be after earlier," he shot back, making Martha cackle.
"She's clearly her father's daughter."

"I don't know, she looks more like her mother," Martha teased.

"Well, Mom did teach me how to dress," Dawn quipped. The baby
patted her so she smiled at him. "Yes, Little Doc?" He beamed
and babbled some more. "I think Xander infected you with wanting
to be the center of attention," she teased.

Sarah Jane took him to hold. "Most boys do." He cooed at
her, getting a kiss on the forehead. "There's days I almost wished
my son was still your age. He was fun then. Not like now as
a teenager."

"Just don't make a real wish," Jack cautioned. Owen snickered.
Gwen and Tosh came in from a problem call. "Ladies."

Gwen stared. "Who's that then?" she asked. "My baby's about
your size." She smiled. The baby howled and screamed.
"Sorry!" She backed off.

Xander looked at her then shrugged. "That's the baby Doctor."

"Oh!" She looked at the Doctor, who smiled and nodded. The
ladies got him calmed down and cooing again. "He's gorgeous."

"Yes he is," he said proudly. "Much like his other father is."
He smirked at Ianto, who could only blush at that. "Ladies, it was
suggested we travel lightly until he's a teenager and able to decide for
himself if he wants to build his own tardis."

"Don't take him yet," Amy said, taking the baby back. "Such a
little darling! My husband would crap houses if I wanted one of you
already." Sarah Jane snickered. "We've only been married a
year."

"Then yes, it's much too early," she assured her with a smile.
"They're fun at that age. All the cute clothes, the playing, the
teaching them things. Then they turn into teenagers who sulk and
pout because the girl they want to stalk isn't into them."

Xander snickered. "He'll grow into dating instead of following
her around with the mop and drool bucket, Sarah Jane."

"I hope so. It's almost distressing. I had to consider what
he might do with one."

"Do we need help giving him the sex talk?" Jack asked her.

"Oh, dear lord no. We've had a good one with him that included
a chastity belt discussion. Too bad I can't find one." Xander
went into his wardrobe, horrifying her. He handed her one when he
came back. "You have one?"

"It was a gift from a past boyfriend," Evan assured her with a smug
look. "Please take it."

She smiled. "Thank you, boys. I like you two more than I
do anything I've heard about the past ones." She pinched Xander on
the cheek. "Though you're still a naughty boy."

"Yes he is," Martha said dryly.

"If I make your husband jealous, then he'll pounce you more," Xander
quipped.

Mickey nodded. "Yes I did." Martha swatted him but he smiled.
"I know I can compete against him even if I can't compete against any other
fantasy men." She smiled at him. "We're still not having one
of those. The Generals would throw a bloody fit."

"Let 'em, it's good for their blood pressure," John said with a shrug.
"Ours do and feel better for it."

"Is that usually Xander's fault?" Martha teased with a smirk for Xander.
Xander shook his head.

"A few of his former lovers but not present ones," Rodney assured her
dryly. She cackled at that. "Two have shown up recently."
She shook her head. He looked at the baby, who was staring at him.
"If I take you, would you not vomit on me this time?" The baby cooed.
"I see." He patted him and the baby was happy, wanting Xander again.
Xander set him in his lap. That let him see all the human cooing
slaves he had. "We need to get you some new clothes and things."

Xander stood up with a moan, dragging Doc, the baby, and Jack, plus
Ianto following, into his wardrobe. "Be right back. I have
toys for him at home." The door was shut and they took off.

John shook his head. "Which storage area this time?" he asked
Rodney.

"I doubt he's going to give up any of his slinky or lego sets," Evan
said.

"No, I doubt it too," Rodney said dryly. He sighed, shaking his
head. "They'll be right back." They all smirked and nodded.
"Radek made Xander's more precise."

Radek nodded. "It now has minute accuracy." They all beamed
at him for that.

"Can you do that to the Doctor's Tardis?" Amy asked. "He said
he'd be back in five minutes and it was twelve years. The next time
it was two years."

Radek laughed. "I have fiddled a bit with that broken panel."

"Me too," Rodney agreed. "He, of course, complained, so we let
Xander feed him into another nap." They all laughed at that.
Xander was known to fuss. The wardrobe landed and Xander walked out
looking happier. "What happened?"

"Well, I kinda hit a pocket of temporal disturbance back around London,"
he said dryly, flopping down. "Then my Tardis decided to adopt Ianto
for a few minutes when I got some toys."

"All your aunts are waiting," the Doctor called. "Come along."

"Coming," a male voice called. Then a female squeal.

"So that's where I get it from," Dawn quipped. Owen pinched her
hard on the butt. "Ow!" She swatted him. "Mean shit!"

The Doctor leaned out. "We're having clothing trauma."

"I can help," Dawn offered with a smile.

"She didn't want to wear yours, Dawn." He leaned back in then
came back out. "There." The two teenagers, plus an eleven-year-old
boy came out, he was pouting. Jack and Ianto followed.

"Did we pick up more?" Amy teased.

"No," the pouty one said. "I'm growing."

"Into your uncle's smooth style of attracting attention," Jack said
dryly, fussing with his hair. "What did you do this time?"

"Braids," Xander said with a grin. "And that is why I'm the favorite
godparent." He smirked at Ianto, who laughed and nodded. "I
told you that marketplace was a bad idea for them to visit for clothes."

"Well, yes, but my sister's clothes are a bit short on me," the female
said with a grimace at her sister. "You're short."

"I'm fashionable but cute." She stared at her. "So you're
my sister." The others all gasped, looking at Jack, who nodded quickly.
"Huh. Well, hey, I don't have to feed you." She gave her a
hug. "Welcome to the family. We can shop for you tomorrow."

"Sure." She smiled. "Then can you go over my Ancient?"

"Not a problem," she assured her with a hand-wave. "We can do
that all you need to." They smirked at each other.

"I'm having visions of pulling them both out of the clubs with the bad
boys," Owen said, pinching his nose closed for a second. "Ladies?"

Dawn smirked at him. "Mine," she said with a head nod at Owen.

"I heard. Hi, brother-in-law." She smiled and waved.
Then she bounced over to talk to the other women.

"Did you bounce when you were that young?" Xander teased.

"Ianto cures that for me," he shot back with a smug grin.

"That's why he doesn't get chocolate coffee any longer," Ianto said
smugly.

The other two were staring around. Dawn pulled the older one over
to hug. "If you're scared of us I get to beat you to death sparring,
Little Doc."

He grinned. "I wouldn't say that would happen. Xander did
teach me some."

"Good! Maybe it'll keep you out of trouble." She gave him
a hug. "There, go fuss at the women you made want to have a baby."
He got pulled over by Sarah Jane for a hug. She looked at the other
one. "It's all right, I can help you shop too."

He smirked. "I need leather pants when I'm older."

"You sure do and thankfully you can't steal mine." He laughed
and punched her on the arm. She walked them both over to talk to
Amy since she was looking a bit left out.

The Doctor looked at Ianto and Jack. Then at Xander. "We
made sure that quilt is still locked up, right?"

"Yup. It's still very locked up." He gave him a smug look.
"Even from Nila and Atlantis, who wanted it so they had kids on board them
again."

"Thank God so I don't have any," John said, looking up. "Thanks!"
Fortunately the ceiling didn't answer. The others relaxed and got
comfortable with the older Little Doc and Destiny. Ianto had won
the coin toss about her name. Alex, who was a little troublesome
snot who wanted to prank, got along just fine with the big sister and the
others.

Xander winked at Evan and Radek, who smiled back. They all relaxed
because it was good for them to see normal families. Though they
would be making sure that quilt was put away safely in case Nila or Atlantis,
or the other AI's, decided that Xander needed one too. Because that
might be a disaster in the making.