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#YesAllWomen and my thoughts on it…

Okay.. So.. I am writing this while my heart is racing a thousand miles because I’m pretty sure that you won’t like what I have to say and let me be clear that my opinions and views are my own and you have every right to disagree and even discuss and maybe you’ll convince me but please, I urge you, please do your best to keep it civil and refrain from hate and flame. I am going to try to go about this as sensitively as possible, so here we go:

So, #YesAllWomen.. A social movement, a call for action, that was created and sounded against the horrible actions of Elliot Rodgers and his manifesto that spoke of what he thought of women and what he thought it took to be someone in life. Normally, I don’t concern myself with Feminism and Feminists as most of the ones I’ve met are radicals of the movement. From what I read from his manifesto, he was a misguided boy with misguided ideals. He was shy, self-conscious and a defeatist who often quits something after convincing himself that it was pointless to pursue given that there was someone else better. His hate and envy grew with him and his priorities became more blurred and confused. He lacked a true identity and any true goal in life other than ‘getting with girls and making it with the cool kids’ but this post is not about him really but more so my thoughts on t his social phenomenon that is #YesAllWomen.

I understand that women have the right to feel safe, that women shouldn’t have to suffer comments or catcalls or any other mistreatment for men, I understand and my aim here is not to belittle that. A lot of the tweets that I’ve read were sad and frightening and given my upcoming trip to the USA, it’s making me quite nervous and scared but what I also see is a condemnation of an entire gender. A lot of these women have had horrible experiences, as have I, but I would never use that as ammo to condemn an entire gender. Monsters will be monsters. Most of you would probably say that this is similar to #NotAllMen but it’s not. I am not defending men or trying to ‘derail’ the conversation but instead thought I’d introduce a new perspective. The problem with today’s western society or society in general is the adaptation of the mentality of “Freedom to ________”.

Women, you’re strong, you’re beautiful but you ask for too much sometimes. You ask for the freedom to do whatever you want, that includes dressing, acting and saying whatever you want but you refuse the idea of criticism. You refuse to acknowledge that sometimes the image you portray has a great effect on how people view you and I know some of you aren’t like that and probably don’t care but sadly this is the world we live in. In my culture, women are encouraged to be modest, to be gentle in voice and in behavior [in public] and men are strictly taught to be respectful and to always act as shields for their sisters and mothers and I never understood why that would be demeaning, how that could be oppressive in any way. I never understood why modesty was so looked down upon in the western world. Each person is responsible for their own actions.

Society and the way things are plays a huge factor. The culture plays a role. I think it’s more look at the life style, look at how it is, what it encourages, what has been made to be important and valuable. I’ll give you an extreme example; to go around fighting for the right to walk around naked but at the same time not expect negative attention to come from it. You condemn men for admiring what society has deemed appealing and ‘sexy’. Yet you yourself show no restraint in how you dress and behave while expecting the world to accommodate you. “I have the right to dress how I want” no you don’t. It’s a privilege that has been misused for ages and the result of it is a culture that is desensitized and can barely show respect for one another.

And what is this incessant need, this obsession to do everything a man does? Why do women have to do everything a man does? Don’t they understand that there are some things a man has to do that a woman shouldn’t bother with and vice versa? There’s nothing offensive about recognizing the differences between you and a man. There’s nothing offensive or demeaning or belittling about acknowledging that while men have a purpose and a role to play in this world so do women. Women these days focus on career and success and being better than men at everything but forget that they have generations to raise and children to educate. Instead the kids are left to learn about the world by other means and end up developing skewed perception and people like Elliot Rodger

I think it’s time for everyone to take responsibility for their actions. Men should stop blaming women and women should stop blaming men. Each individual is responsible for only themselves. Women, it may be hard to hear but you are as much as part of the problem as men are.