Just Leave Home Without It

A Sukkot perspective.

I hate packing. You never really know what to take, which bag to use, and how to stuff it all in. And you never get it right.

There is, however, one thing worse than packing -- packing to go home. Ugh.

And so, there I was engaging in my annual grim chore of 'closing up' the summer bungalow and packing to go home.

It's such a familiar scene. Valises and garbage bags strewn all over the cabin, the usual confusion between laundry just washed and laundry not yet washed, six or seven very lonely, widowed socks, and the occasional whine and whimper, "I just can't believe it's over!"

This year was no different -- except for one observation. I was tossing some shirts into my bag when I realized just how many of them I had actually never worn the entire summer. I remembered when I had brought them thinking how essential they would be.

"Can't leave this one home."
"Oh, this one is perfect for paddle ball in the scorching sun."
"I'll wear it to the pool."

As it turns out, I wore something else to the pool... and to the paddle ball court.

Next to my bag lay a small open box with a few books awaiting transport. I gingerly squeezed in a few more hardcovers and paused. Most of them would be returning as they arrived, untouched and undisturbed.

And then there's the ultimate experience of over-preparation -- the plane ride.

"It's a four hour flight? Finally, I'll get some work done. Folders, files, laptop, correspondence, editing, review, old statements, home renovation plans etc. That's good for the first hour. Then there's that fat, old novel that's been sleeping comfortably under my bed for six years, and oh -- my ethical will -- perfect time to sink my teeth into that. And with the time remaining I'll study the weekly Torah portion and recite a few dozen Psalms."

Need I reveal the truth of what I actually accomplish on that trip? I'm lucky if I return home not leaving the novel on the plane. But we are creatures of habit. I know the routine all too well, and I'll probably continue to plan... and to fail.

Which brings us to the trip we call life. The more serious among us utilize the final days and weeks of the year to pack our belongings for the journey into the New Year. What shall we take along and what shall we leave behind? Which actions, relationships, and thought processes are honestly essential to our growth and which habits are just getting in the way?

Why are we still lugging around the same burdens and empty resolutions?

Some of us never 'find the time' to take this inventory -- how tragic. But those who do are often the creatures of habit. This year's list looks oddly familiar to last year's... and the year's before. Indeed, at year's end, when we unpack our suitcase, we find that so many of the contents have remained untouched. They are stale, dusty, and sadly, quite familiar.

We stare down at our luggage and shake our heads. We become despondent, frustrated, and downcast. What happened to all of our good intentions from last year? Why are we still lugging around the same burdens and empty resolutions?

The problem is that we don't know how to pack. Instead of just transferring our entire wardrobes from closet to suitcase, we need to carefully select just a few essentials that will realistically be utilized. When we plan to change everything, we often change nothing. In other words, if the luggage is overweight, a penalty is assessed. Everything needs to fit into your 'carry on.'

The Sukkot Solution

But God, of course, understands. He knows how we're wired. (After all, He wired us.) So He provides a solution. It's called Sukkot. The High Holy Days' Express has hardly come to a full stop when the Sukkot journey begins. He didn't have to make it that way. He could have waited a few weeks and then given us Sukkot. But no, He wanted to give us a chance to act on our resolutions immediately.

As most of us know, Sukkot is the time of year when we leave our sturdy, secure homes and transfer our dwelling to a structure that is insubstantial and frail. Many of us leave 6 or 7 room apartments or homes to spend significant time in huts that are no larger than 8' by 10'. We cast our ever-present need for protection to the heavens and demonstrate our belief in God by placing our bodies and souls in His purview and domain.

But no matter how physically elaborate our actual sukkah may be, there are obvious limitations on what we can bring along. We endeavor to create an atmosphere that is radiant and cozy -- but most of our comforts must be left behind. So we must choose carefully, weighing our decisions and defining what is truly indispensable.

When we bring too much, most of the stuff never really gets used. And when we try to change too much, it just doesn't work.

We need to separate out the myriad gadgets that distract us and strip life down to the essentials.

It is an exercise that is designed to help us prioritize.

"Do we really need that stemware in the sukkah?"
"Will one sweater suffice? Which one?"
"Which chairs are best suited for a meal of two hours?"

Sukkot teaches us that unlike the American Express card, we must leave home without it. When we bring too much, most of the stuff never really gets used. And when we try to change too much, it just doesn't work. It is a recipe for disappointment and frustration.

Most prudent is to choose wisely and realistically. Plan to complete one task, or perhaps, two and then feel really good about it. That great feeling of accomplishment gives us the fuel for future and greater journeys.

That is the beauty of Sukkot. We move out, but we don't take everything along.

Then we can sit in our smaller but simpler Sukkot, peer out between the delicate bamboos, see the vast heavens and bask in His love -- endless and supreme. We do so with the prayer that this year will be different. That we will truly tap into our potential.

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About the Author

Rabbi Yaakov Salomon, C.S.W. is a noted psychotherapist, in private practice in Brooklyn, N.Y. for over 25 years. He is a Senior Lecturer and the Creative Director of Aish Hatorah's Discovery Productions. He is also an editor and author for the Artscroll Publishing Series and a member of the Kollel of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath.

In these marvelous stories -- brimming with wit, understanding, a touch of irony and a large helping of authentic Torah perspective -- we will walk with a renowned and experienced psychotherapist and popular author through the pathways of contemporary life: its crowded sidewalks, its pedestrian malls, and the occasional dead end street. This is a walk through our lives that will be fun, entertaining -- and eye-opening. In our full -- sometimes overfull -- and complex lives, Yaakov Salomon is a welcome and much-needed voice of sanity and reason.

His speaking, writing and musical talents have delighted audiences from Harvard to Broadway and everything in between. Rabbi Salomon shares his life with his wife, Temmy, and their unpredictable family.

Visitor Comments: 8

(8)
SusanE,
October 9, 2009 5:35 PM

Everything We Need Comes from G-d.

We can sit in our homes or in our Succas and wait for G-d to enlighten us about living in the new year. Or we can make it easy for ourselves to leave the baggage behind in any situation. It's not wrong to be prepared for emergencies while planning our lives. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Keep a small case with essentials near your door to easily grab in a hurry. Fill it with 3 days of high nurtition snack bars, a small container of Clorox, a sealed water bottle, CURRENT list of Physicians and medications, A CD of family photos, a radio, a cell phone charger, Paper Copies of Passport and drivers license, and Credit cards. Cash enought for several days. Fresh batteries, flashlight, heavy socks, matches, a candle and waterproof baggies. A couple garbage bags, and a mylar blanket. Always have first aid supplies. All fit easily into a backpack and isn't heavy. One for each member of your family. These make great gifts and the kids can help with stocking them.
He has given the rest of us Gentiles something that we love to do all during the year, leaving our homes behind for a time. It's called camping out under the stars.

(7)
,
October 5, 2009 10:35 PM

the BAGGAGE MASHAL IS APRROPIATE TO BAD MIDOT! IN MODERN PSYCHOLOGY, IT'S USED SO FREQUENTLY FOR BAD CHARACTERISATICS...BUT KLAL YISRAEL HAS THE BEAUTIFUL GIFT OF TESHUVAH, RETURNING EVEN FULL CIRCLE TO BEING CLOSE TO GOD ,AS WE WERE!

(6)
Mindy,
October 5, 2009 2:33 PM

Thank you for helping me pack!

I am getting ready for a vacation after Simchat Torah, and I have been frantically trying to get everything I "need". You article reminded me that when our ancestors left Egypt, they didn't need an extra extension cord or a special travelling vest with pockets, and somehow got through the desert just fine. I will now pack with a new outlook, and take time to enjoy the holiday.

(5)
Iris Moskovitz,
October 1, 2009 8:34 PM

Once again, I am totally in awe of your genious words of wisdom.

I really enjoy reading and absorbing your words of wisdom. Everything makes so much sence to me. Have a wonderful and meaningful Sukkot .

(4)
Joshua,
September 30, 2009 2:27 PM

Good description

Thanks for this little reminder.Now i know im living my life correctly.Take only what you need and live humbly.Much easier than all the baggage i see others carrying.

(3)
Rabbi Yudie Fogel,
September 30, 2009 3:36 AM

We are enjoined to leave our houses and "live" in our Succos.

The author seems to have forgotten that we are asked to actually live in our Succos, as we live in our houses. A Succah is a place for Kedushah and if it is not appropriate in our Succos it does not belong in our houses, either. We are to bring our best into the Succah and only in case of physical danger such as from fire are we told to place our "menorah" outside of the Succah, to provide light. A good Yom Tov to all.

(2)
SusanE,
September 29, 2009 4:48 PM

Great Analogy - Thank You

Thank you for the Timely article today. Baggage is the correct word for something stuffed into a bag. Vacations are to refresh us, not bog us down with stuff.
Same goes for what we take into the new year with us. If we carry last years baggage along with us, we'll have twice as much at the end of next year. There will be no room for all the good stuff we might find along the way. Go light on the baggage. Fill yourself up this year with only the necessities.

(1)
ruth housman,
September 29, 2009 4:27 PM

Sweet Sukkot!

We all need to celebrate the magic of this holiday. I so agree with your beautiful story, about baggage that is so true, to all of our lives, if we just stop to think! Hag Sameach!