If you are receiving this email, then one or more of the following things is true: A) you are a kazoo ninja; B) you have already expressed interest in joining the PKO; C) you have the makings of a revolutionary leader. Trust me, this is not a generic email blast... You have been chosen. I'm only sending this first email out to a select list of the 25 or so people who I believe have what it takes to begin... a kazoo movement.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, visit this link, and then return to this email:

We're starting a kazoo orchestra. And we need you. Yes, YOU. (See below for details on how to join.)

I'm not kidding.It's going to be named The People's Kazoo Orchestra(PKO).

Why? WHY? We're doing it for several reasons:

1) I'm putting together a new band and I believe it won't be complete unless and until we leverage the untapped, mysterious beauty and indescribable power of kazoo. I need a kazoo section in my band dammit.

2) The kazoo has the shortest learning curve of any instrument other than perhaps clapping. It is the instrument OF the people, BY the people, and FOR the people. The sound of kazoo is the sound of freedom. And we need to let freedom ring. We can take this country back... Kazoo is our drum and fife.

3) I giggle and smile when I think of us all playing a show together.

4) This is your chance to rock out on stage. Don't bother learning guitar or drums. That's a waste -- the world has enough of those, frankly.

5) Clearly... This is an idea whose time has come.

MANIFESTO FOR THE PEOPLE'S KAZOO ORCHESTRA

Rule 1) There will be as little rehearsing as possible. Probably, out in the alley right before the gig.

Rule 2) No prior music experience is required. You must only be capable of humming a tune.

Rule 3) You must be committed, fully, to the pursuit and development of a career in music as a kazooist.

Rule 4) Drinking is recommended at all PKO functions.

Rule 5) You can provide your own kazoo. They are available at local music stores.

Rule 6) Remember, there is no "I" in kazoo. This is about building kommunity and sharing love through the magic and mystery of kazoo. It's called a kazoo, not a kaYou.

Rule 7) There is no Rule 7.

HOW TO JOIN -- WE NEED YOU!

Contact John Common at letters@johncommon.com. Express your interest in joining the PKO in a manner befitting your personality and unique style. If you're really good, you might get first chair!

The first rehearsal is Wed, January 28th at the Oriental Theater -- an invitation only event.