Garbage

If my mail is any indicator, A.J. Weberman is not the only noted American garbologist. For example, The Night Lurker robs his mark’s mailbox, removes only the junk mail, mixes with various items of trash and garbage, then tosses them onto other people’s lawns.

We can thank Stoney Dale for dragging out this tidbit of garbage. He had yet another grouchy neighbor who was hated by one and all. The man left for work at seven in the morning, while Stoney departed several hours later. In the meantime, the garbage truck made its rounds of the neighborhood stop by his house on garbage day, and here’s what happened.

“Just as the garbage men pulled up in front the Grinch’s house, my friend would stroll down the mark’s driveway like he lived there. He told the men that his wife had misplaced her watch and that he was going to search the garbage for it. He told them not to worry about pickup,” Stoney relates. “They didn’t and soon left.”

Stoney says the Grinch didn’t say anything about his garbage bags being the only ones in evidence in the neighborhood that night. But when the following week rolled around, Grinch put out another set of bags. Stoney’s pal pulled the same stunt. This time, when he got home from work, Grinch hit the ceiling. He asked Stoney what was going on, and Stoney played dumb. Grinch called the garbage people and raised hell with the dispatcher, who raised hell back. Result – it took another two weeks for Grinch to get another garbage removal company to come to his home and at a premium price. In the meantime, dogs had ripped open the huge pile of bags and crap was scattered all over the neighborhood. Stoney had another friend report Grinch to the police for littering. See the section on *Neighbors*, and if you live near Stoney Dale, be a good, friendly neighbor!