I, too have unresolved issues from my Mother's death. She died in 1977. She was never sick. Young. Beautiful and in every way. She was my Mother. My friend. The babysitter for my children. She was everything to me. And, right now I am feeling so much sadness and grieving for, not only my Father but for all of my losses.

Take the word 'crazy' and delete it from your vocabulary because a severe emotional response and reactions to loss causes a chemical imbalance in our brains and though they refer to this as a 'mental disorder'....it's simply because what's going on up there is not in the natural order of how they perceive the grieving process to be according to their 'all too famous, stages of grief' and when it causes us to become stuck, we cease to thrive normally. I have OCD, but I'm not crazy. We all have something that doesn't work perfectly so understanding this first and foremost will allow us to move forward in a positive way, without the labels that so many attach to us.

Painful grieving is a normal response to loss. It's when we continue to experience the same intensity and inability to accept the loss, over a long period of time that causes it to become complicated and prevents us from living our lives and ever finding joy or happiness again.

Share about your Dad, as much as you are able. Telling our story over and over again is how we work through our grief in a healthy manner. I would like to hear about the relationship you had with your Dad.

Grief can be exhausting and grieving with unresolved issues can feel never-ending as we see no hope in sight. It's a problem like any other that needs to be resolved if we're ever going to move forward in our lives.

Thanks for sharing this, Helene.

I'm going to also post this response under complicated grief so feel free to add to it, if you like.

((((((((Helene))))))))

Always here for you.

Love,Terry

Logged

"I'm thankful I have my writing to turn to. And reading and my pets. It is at times like these, I remind myself to think of gratitude and things I am thankful for." -Wally (Wally49er/Spouse Loss)

Thank you for all your support and encouragement adn sharing so openly with me memories and feelings about the loss of your father and then your mother. I will share more about my own memories of my Dad. Again I cannot help worrying that I am posting too much all over the place! I have never experienced any place like this to share my pent-up and repressed memories and feelings with such caring and understanding people! I think so many of us have a terrible load bottled up in side with no place to share, no one to talk with. There is also a desperation in people to be HEARD to the point of being unable to LISTEN. This is a kind of sickness in our modern society that I have observed time and time again (and I have been one of those who did not really listen as well!) Compound this lack of being able to listen/desperation to be heard with our modern society's denial of death and repression of grief where there is no-where for the grief-stricken to go to openly moarn our dead - (unlke other cultures - like, say, in Mexico where they have a 'Day-of-the-Dead' - or is it a week) in which people en mass visit the graves of their dead and leave offerings, visit with each other, have special ceremonies, music, food, costumes, etc. Where is anything like that in North American I ask?