Wow. You're a good writer. I have acne too and that's exactly how I feel. It's not bad though. But never mind. Good job. It's very realistic and I like how you wrote about someone other than Harry Potter and his friends.

Author's Response: Yeay another review for this story! I really like this story because it truly comes from the inside (hence the title) and from what I've experienced. I don't have too much acne but in my life I've often had doubts about my appearance in the past and I've gotten over it. I think we can really connect with Eloise here. Thanks for the review Anon!

Thats cute! The only thing I'd suggest is that you switched back and forth between third and first person a few times (In one line you used me and the paragraph later, you were using "her") so that made it a bit choppy at those parts, but its a cute story! I loved the ending.

Author's Response: Yeah, I noticed that but I haven't gone back and changed it. Thank you so much for reviewing!

You've also managed to express an array of very human characteristics, not just the insecurity and the thrill of discovering you are more to others than you previously had thought, but also the doubt of one's true identity. I think everyone questions that at least once in their life, and you summed it up perfectly in this line:

I didn’t actually know if I had anything to show in the inside when I really thought about it.

Simple and direct, so of course it is perfect!

Author's Response: Thank you thank you thank you so much for these lovely reviews! I will treasure them forever, and whenever I'm having aa bad writing day I'll just go back and reread them. You have no idea what these mean to me!

Also, I was reading some of the other reviews and recognized Grit as having flamed others on the site. It's a shame I cannot remember who else they flamed, but I would say do not give much credence or thought to their comments. Your grammar and style were definitely not that of an 8th grader, and you did show and not tell for quite a good portion of it. There is a thing called dialogue that moves a story along, and honestly Grit must be a mute if they do not appreciate that. ;)

Author's Response: Oh I know, I got over that as soon as I posted the flame at the forums and got full support for it. I think she was a bit right about the show, not tell thing but the rest was really offensive. Thank you for confiding in my writing!

Wow this story was extremely well written. As someone who had acne as a kid (*thanks goodness it abandoned me*) I can really relate to this story, even at the age of 23, years later. I think it is very hard for people to understand the level of emphasis that people put upon facial beauty. Someone could have the most beautiful face, however if they have acne of any sort, scaring, etc. it is as if they are marked. Parents will tell their children that they are over-exaggerating the impact it has on their lives, when in reality they are not. Children are cruel, it's a fact of life, and long after the acne is gone, the cruel remarks, blatant staring, and feeling of inferiority remain. Self-conciousness is something that children suffering from that develop early on to a level most can not even begin to fathom, and even after that clears up and their faces are as they are meant to be, no longer painful or insane to look at, they still freak out internally if they have so much as a single pimple. The memory of what the world thinks of acne remains, and I think you truly captured the psychological effects of what having it can do to a child in their teens, even after their face is no longer as bad as it once was. And I am truly impressed by yoru ability to delve that deep into someone's psyche, because it cannot be easy to do. So kudos to you on achieving that. I also think that you showed her progression as a person well. She became comfortable with herself and realized that:

One) Her appearance is no longer what matters the most.

Two) People are no longer cruel like they are as children.

Three) She regains her confidence back.

You did a great thing with this story, so great work.

Author's Response: Oh my, I almost fainted when I saw I got three long reviews from you. I'm getting a lot of acne these days and I learn from my mistakes, because when I put more makeup to cover it up, it just gets worse, so I stopped doing that and started taking care of my face. I do know that beauty is inside and if someone is hinting that I am ugly I don't take the least offense because whatever I am outside doesn't matter. You don't move ahead in life with just your looks (at least not if you're a model) because you need brains for everything. I wrote this because I kind of had a message to get to the readers. My teacher once told me that with every page I write, I have wisdom, and I guess it's true. Thank you so much for the input!

ooo, i liked it. i never really payed attention to eloise midgen before...i just got a zit...sight...right in the middle of my face. first one since last school year. the stress is already showing. lol. loved your story, you rock at writing!

Author's Response: I didn't either, but I thought of a shadowed character and I thought of her and her pimples. Poor you...but I have zits all over my nose which is the worst and also near my lip. Ah well, it's what's inside that counts! :) Thank you for reviewing!

Sorry, but that was horrible. It was a nice idea, but your grammar and style are that of an eighth grader's. Show, DON'T tell!!!! Please! Save the world the agony of reading this junk and just pick up a grammar book!! Nice effort though.

Author's Response: Grammar, eh? Well, thank you for your advice and harsh criticism but I'm sorry you had to read it.

Hehe, if only EVERYONE knew that beauty does come from the inside. I'm 16 and never been kissed, so I should know how Eloise felt! Just a suggestion: keep to one tense. You're using third person but at the same time you're not. Keep it to one tone and then it's easier to read. Good job!

Author's Response: Am I? I must check into that. Thanks for pointing it out! And so what if you haven't been kissed? Everything is different for each person, so don't feel down :) Thanks so much for reviewing Monochrome!

Aww, that was so sweet! What a great story about growing up and being happy with yourself. I especially liked the line: “You look...” He eyed me up and down, “Horrible.”
It made me smile :-) Great work! (I always enjoy reading stories about characters that have only been mentioned once or twice)

Author's Response: I was thinking about one of my friends complaining about acne, so I decided to write a story about it, and the first character that came to my mind was Eloise Midgen. I enjoyed writing this one shot very much and I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing :)

Awww, what a nice story. I really like how Eloise comes into her own sense of self at the end, it was really sweet. You wrote her to be such an easily liked character, I enjoyed reading about her a lot. She's going through things many girls these days do, and sadly a lot of them don't have people telling them they don't need makeup. *sigh* Ah, well. Nice story, well written. =D

Author's Response: Yes, I got the idea of the story from my friend who constantly complained about her acne (I told her to shut up constantly). Yes, many girls relate to this and I wish more people thought they didn't need makeup. THanks so much for reviewing!