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Eulogy to my BFF, Sandra

HELLO…..MY NAME IS LINDA, AND I HAVE HAD THE PRIVALAGE OF KNOWING AND LOVING SANDRA FOR OVER 18 YEARS.

TODAY, I NOT ONLY GRIEVE FOR MY BEST FRIEND, BUT I ALSO GRIEVE FOR EVERY PERSON HERE, WHOSE LIFE HAS BEEN TOUCHED BY SANDRA. SO MANY PEOPLE LOVED HER…..YOUR LOVE, PRAYERS AND VISITS OF ENCOURAGEMENT MEANT THE WORLD TO SANDRA……… AS SHE OFTEN TOLD ME….SHE SOMETIMES FELT OVERWHELMED TO HAVE SO MANY WONDERFUL PEOPLE IN HER LIFE…SURROUNDING HER WITH THEIR LOVE.

I MET SANDRA WHEN HER SON, SHAMIR, AND MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER, DANA WERE CLASSMATES IN A 3 YEAR OLD PROGRAM AT WELLINGTON CHRISTIAN SCHOOL. THE TEACHER HAD TOLD SANDRA HOW SHAMIR PLAYED WITH A LITTLE GIRL, NAMED DANA, ALL THE TIME….. SO SHE SOUGHT ME OUT, AND, AFTER GIVING ME A BIG HUG AND KISS, ONLY THEN DID SHE INTRODUCE HERSELF TO ME AS SHAMIR’S MOTHER…... I THOUGHT TO MYSELF…. “WHO IS THIS WOMAN, WHO HUGS AND KISSES, BEFORE EVEN INTRODUCING THEMSELVES?”……THAT WAS SANDRA, AND THE BEGINNING OF OUR FRIENDSHIP.

THOUGHOUT THE YEARS, I HAVE ALWAYS TOLD SANDRA, AND OTHERS, THAT IN LIFE, YOU ARE BLESSED IF YOU HAVE BUT ONE GOOD FRIEND, NO LESS, A BEST FRIEND, AND THAT IS WHAT SANDRA WAS TO ME…..MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER. “YOUR BFF”…THIS IS THE WAY WE WOULD END EVERY CARD AND EMAIL. WE NEVER ENDED A CONVERSATION WTHOUT SAYING “I LOVE YOU” TO EACH OTHER. SANDRA WAS MORE THAN A SISTER TO ME.

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT I LOVED ABOUT SANDRA..

HER FAITH IN GOD WAS FIRST AND FOREMOST, WHICH ONLY GOT STRONGER OVER THE PAST 3 YEARS OF HER ILLNESS.

NEXT, SANDRA WAS THE BEST MOTHER EVER. SHE WAS TOTALLY DEVOTED TO MAKING SURE HER SONS WOULD GROW INTO THE WONDERFUL MEN THEY ARE TODAY. OUR DAILY CONVERSATIONS ALWAYS INCLUDED TALKING ABOUT OUR CHILDREN….. SANDRA WAS SO PROUD OF HER SONS, SHAWN AND SHAMIR AND WHAT THEY HAVE ACCOMPLISHED IN THEIR LIVES SO FAR.

IT HAS BEEN A PRIVALEGE FOR ME TO WATCH YOU BOTH GROW AND MATURE INTO THE WONDERFUL MEN YOU HAVE BECOME. AND, I KNOW YOU WILL CONTINUE TO DO YOUR MOTHER PROUD. REMEMBER WHAT SHE ALWAYS TAUGHT YOU ABOUT HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN…..”THE WAY TO A WOMAN’S HEART IS WITH CANDY AND CREDIT CARDS.”

SANDRA WAS A DEVOTED WIFE AND PARTNER…..SO IN LOVE WITH YOU, BEN. YOUR LIVES WERE ONE BIG ADVENTURE, TRAVELING THE WORLD WITH SHAWN AND SHAMIR DURING EVERY SCHOOL BREAK AND HOLIDAY.

SANDRA WAS ALWAYS MAKING SURE YOU SPENT QUALITY TIME TOGETHER, AS A FAMILY. THAT WAS SO IMPORTANT TO HER. WHEN ONE TRIP ENDED…I WOULD JOKINGLY SAY “SO, WHERE IS THE NEXT TRIP?” AND SHE WOULD ALREADY HAVE THE NEXT TRIP PLANNED TO YET ANOTHER EXOTIC DESTINATION, WITH THE ITINERARY COMPLETE.

BEN, I CAN’T COUNT HOW MANY TIMES YOU HAVE SAID TO ME OVER THE YEARS “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS WOMAN?”…..MY ANSWER TODAY IS “YES”…I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN…AND, ANYONE WHO KNEW YOU BOTH COULD ALWAYS SEE THE LOVE AND DEVOTION THAT YOU HAD FOR SANDRA…… EVERY TIME YOU LOOKED AT HER.

OVER THESE PAST MONTHS, SANDRA SPOKE TO ME ABOUT HER MOM, RUTH, AND ESPECIALLY HER BROTHER, BOBBY, FOR ALL THE LOVE AND HELP THEY GAVE HER AND HER FAMILY THROUGHOUT THESE DIFFICULT TIMES. BOBBY…. SANDRA OFTEN TOLD ME WHAT A GOD SEND YOU HAVE BEEN TO HER….. YOU BECAME AN EXTENSION OF SANDRA, HER RIGHT HAND. HOW SHE LOVED THE EVENINGS WHEN THE TWO OF YOU WOULD RELAX AND RUB EACH OTHER’S FEET. I KNOW YOU WILL MISS HER AS THE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER AND SISTER SHE WAS.

ANYONE WHO KNOWS SANDRA, KNOWS THAT ONE OF THE MANY THINGS THAT MADE HER SO SPECIAL WAS THE FACT THAT SHE WAS ALWAYS THINKING OF OTHERS BEFORE HERSELF. IF ANYONE EVER NEEDED ANYTHING….. OR JUST A PERSON TO TALK TO…. SHE WAS ALWAYS RIGHT THERE TO HELP. IT DIDN’T MATTER WHAT SANDRA HAD GOING ON IN HER LIFE…. IF SHE FELT SHE COULD HELP ANOTHER PERSON, IN ANY WAY…..HER OWN NEEDS BECAME SECONDARY. WHETHER IT WAS TAKING HER CHILDREN TO A SOUP KITCHEN TO DISH OUT FOOD ON THANKSGIVING, WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE, OR HELPING OUT A NEIGHBOR OR EVEN A STRANGER IN ANY WAY……..SHE WOULD NEVER SAY “NO”….IT WAS ALWAYS, I’LL BE RIGHT THERE….WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP YOU”

IN ALL THE YEARS I HAVE KNOW SANDRA….. I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER BE JUDGEMENTAL, OR KNOWN HER TO HAVE AN UNKIND THOUGHT TOWARDS ANYONE. BUT, INSTEAD, SHE ALWAYS ACCEPTED PEOPLE FOR EXACTLY WHO THEY WERE. THAT IS THE EPITOMY OF BEING A RIGHTEOUS PERSON.

WHAT ELSE MADE SANDRA HAPPY….HER GARDENS OF COURSE. SANDRA COULD MAKE ANYTHING GROW…. BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS TENDED HER GARDENS WITH LOVE. GARDENING ALWAYS GAVE SANDRA PEACE AND TRANQUILITY. SHE WOULD WORK OUTSIDE FOR HOURS IN THE HEAT OF THE DAY….. IT MADE HER SO HAPPY, GETTING HER HANDS DIRTY AND KNOWING THE GRASS, TREES AND FLOWERS WERE FED, HAPPY AND THRIVING.

SANDRA LOVED HER DAUGHTER, SHEILA…. THAT’S WHAT SHE CALLED HER LITTLE DOG…… AND CACO, HER PARROT. SHE HAD A SPECIAL CONNECTION WITH HER PETS….THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT THEY GRIEVE AS WELL.

I WOULD LIKE TO MENTION A SPECIAL PERSON WHO CAME INTO SANDRA’S LIFE….KATIE. SANDRA ALWAYS SAID HOW MUCH SHE WOULD HAVE LOVED HAVING A DAUGHTER. YOU GAVE HER THAT OPORTUNITY TO KNOW WHAT HAVING A DAUGHTER IS LIKE, KATIE, WITH THE LOVE YOU BOTH HAD FOR EACH OTHER…. AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT.

SANDRA, I HAVE SO MANY WONDERFUL MEMORIES AND STORIES SPANNING MY FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU, OVER THE PAST 18 YEARS. I WILL CHERISH THEM ALL.

I WILL SO MISS OUR DAILY PHONE CONVERSATIONS…. WHEN WE WOULD TALK ABOUT WHAT’S GOING ON IN OUR LIVES. I WILL MISS HAVING YOU CALL ME, AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY AND NIGHT, JUST TO ASK ME HOW TO SPELL A WORD. I WILL MISS RUNNING ERRANDS WITH YOU, OR JUST SITTING ON THE COUCH WITH YOU WHILE WE RUBBED EACH OTHERS FEET. SANDRA GAVE THE BEST FOOT RUBS…AGAIN, BECAUSE EVERYTHING SHE DID WAS WITH LOVE. I WILL MISS HOW YOU ALWAYS PRAYED FOR ME AND MY FAMILY THROUGHOUT THE YEARS.

I WILL MISS HOW FUNNY YOU WERE AND ALWAYS LOVED TO MAKE ME LAUGH BY TRANSITIONING INTO A RASTAFARIAN WOMAN AT A MOMENTS NOTICE, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU WOULD HEAR SOMEONE TALKING, WHO WAS FROM THE ISLANDS….NO MATTER WHERE IT WAS.

I AM SO LUCKY TO HAVE HAD YOU IN MY LIFE, SANDRA….MY NORMAL, EVERYDAY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME WITH OUT YOU. SOMEHOW, I HAVE TO FIND MY NEW “NORMAL”

BUT, I KNOW YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WITH US ALL, IN SPIRIT AND IN OUR HEARTS, AND, YOU WILL NOW BE WATCHING OVER EVERYONE YOU LOVE, YOUR MANY FRIENDS…. AND ESPECIALLY YOUR FAMILY….. AS AN ANGEL.

I THINK OF YOU NOW WITH YOUR DAD…. SINGING YELLOWBIRD TO YOU.

SANDRA…..YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY BFF….I LOVE YOU NOW AND FOREVER…..TILL WE MEET AGAIN.