Newly discovered fossilized remains from Argentina are a bizarre new species that can only be…
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What we're watching (all times EDT, unless noted): Blackhawks-Lightning is on the NHL Network at 7:30. NASCAR's Truck Series WinStar World Casino 350 is on the Speed Network at 8. Central Michigan-Kent State college football is on ESPN2 at 8. USC-Colorado college football is on ESPN at 9. The third round of the HSBC Championship is on the Golf Channel at 11. And a Canadian Football League game featuring Saskatchewan and Edmonton is on tape-delay on the NFL Network at 3 a.m.

Read Me

A boxing bet that leads to so much more: "I've got history with this guy. I've been losing money on Floyd Mayweather, Jr. for years. I am a phenomenal sucker who bets against Floyd every chance I get. I've never once believed that he will lose a fight, and on that score this upcoming bout with Victor Ortiz is no different. But I always hope he will lose. My reasons why are embarrassing and have nothing to do with boxing, this sport that I consider myself a fan of.
Floyd is a villain, a contemptible person. He changed his nickname from 'Pretty Boy Floyd' to 'Money Mayweather' and he takes great pride in flaunting his wealth. He burns hundred dollar bills. He belittles his opponents as homosexuals even long after he has beaten them. In the run-up to all of his fights he goes to great lengths to play the bad guy, and that's truly what it is-playing. He is a promoter and an entertainer and admits as much. But I fall for it anyway. Despite the fact that Money Mayweather is as skilled a tactician in the ring as anyone fighting today I still root for his defeat. A sucker play, sure, but in betting with my heart and not my head, I am at least in good company." [McSweeney's]

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in …
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Elsewhere

So that's what happened to Jon Scheyer: "This isn't the first time Scheyer has combined Judaism and basketball. Before he joined Duke's legendary team, Scheyer guided Glenbrook North High School to the 2005 Illinois state championship, the first title for a North Shore suburban school in 27 years. The feat was all the more remarkable for another reason: All five of Glenbrook North's starters (plus the first player off the bench) were at least half-Jewish. It's hard to imagine another championship basketball team with a starting lineup that knows the difference between a chest pass and Passover." [Tablet]

Shaq suit: "Shaq filed his own lawsuit in Miami-Dade Civil court, accusing Darling of interception and disclosure of electronic communications, breach of fiduciary duty, invasion of privacy, and fraud. In September, we told the epic tale of how in the world Shaq got in this deep against his freakin' computer guy. Darling has accused Shaq, a police groupie who's worked in several departments including Miami Beach's, of attempting to use his cop connections to frame him with child porn." [Miami New Times]

Your Israeli Commercial Interlude:

This isn't really surprising, is it? "One of the big news stories from the NFL that is circulating today comes from a Dayton Daily News report, in which former NFL defensive lineman Chad Eaton claims Belichick used to pay him to start fights during Cleveland Browns practices in the 1990s." [Larry Brown Sports]

He also went to Harvard, from what we've heard: "Ryan Fitzpatrick, married for nearly five and a half years, says he never removes his wedding band. Not when he clips his nails. Not when he changes diapers. Not when he slings footballs around the field on Sundays for the Buffalo Bills." [New York Times]

Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Futurehere, and Magary's The Postmortalhere. Now do it.