Martial Arts

If you were a child in 1990, then you wanted to be a ninja. I actually suspect that this is true for literally every child of every era who has known what a ninja was, but I can really only speak from my own experience, and that experience had a lot to do with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There were other ninjas of course, but while Snake-Eyes never really did much on TV and Sho Kusugi required a trip to the video store, the TMNT were swinging katanas and nunchuks around everywhere you looked. They were everything my eight year-old self wanted to be, and since growing a shell proved difficult, ninja training was obviously the next step.

Sadly, I never had a copy of 1986's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Authorized Martial Arts Training Manual, or else I probably would've grown up into a life of silent assassination and smoke-bomb escapes, rather than just sitting in my office making jokes about comic books. But with a new theatrical movie and ninja interest returning to an all-time high, it's worth looking back now, to see if we can't find out a few ninja tricks to apply to our day-to-day lives. Spoiler warning: Unless your day-to-day life involves the proper handling of a sai, we will not.

It's been a while, but one of ComicsAlliance's primary goals has always been to chronicle the many ways in which our world is becoming more like the work visionary comic book creator/prophet Rob Liefeld. It's happening, folks, and the sooner we all accept that, the better off we're all going to be. I'm not sure if anything will ever top the bayonet attachment that lets you mount a gun on another gun, but if anything comes close, it's going to be a high tech, lightweight suit of armor designed for the exclusive purpose of letting people hit each other with sticks.

This, my friends, is exactly what we're getting from Sydney, Astralia's Chiron Global and their latest innovation, the Unified Weapons Master armor. Meant for full-contact martial arts and weaponry battles, the armor can take a punch from a Muay Thai master or shatter an Eskrima stick upside the head with no ill effect to the wearer. It's actually pretty cool, as evidenced by the video below.

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