The first thing Katara realized was that Zuko had almost drowned. The second thing she realized was that almost drowned people typically needed CPR. As in mouth to mouth. As in the 'kiss of life.' Zutara CrackFic

Summary: The first thing Katara realized was that Zuko had almost drowned. The second thing she realized was that almost-drowned people typically needed CPR. As in mouth to mouth. As in the 'kiss of life.' Zutara CrackFic

A/N: I always wanted to write something like this for a Zutara fic. I'm worried that the writing style is a bit inconsistent...please tell me if you think so. Also, I made Katara a bit OOC and melodramatic on purpose. Katara seems to hate Zuko so much, though, I figured that she WOULD freak out a little (or, okay, a lot). Besides that, please--enjoy!

Four hours into a spontaneous trip at a small Fire Nation beach (that Aang had suggested, and, she decided, would except a thorough butt-kicking for later), Katara found herself gazing down at the limp body of one exiled Fire Nation Prince.

As she watched him, still unmoving, Katara came to establish two facts.

Fact one: From what she had just seen (Zuko flapping around in the water like a decapitated penguin; being dragged to shore by Aang, and ceasing to wake up in the thirty seconds she had been staring at him already) it was pretty certain that Zuko had almost drowned.

And almost drowned people, as far as Katara knew, typically needed CPR.

Mouth-to-mouth. And somehow, Katara didn't think Aang, Toph or Sokka would be compensating for the extra pair of lips within the near future.

So. This was fact one.

Fact two: From what she could conclude from Fact One, this was not a good.

This was not good at all.

Not good. AT ALL.

Katara contemplated a number of things. Pulling out her hair, for example, and then running to the nearest hair salon as an excuse. Feigning sudden blindness and rushing off for an 'Introduction to Seeing with Your Feet' class with Toph. Claiming that she was, in fact, lesbian, and that kissing Zuko would be betraying her oath of forever faithfulness to her secret lover, Azula.

Katara established yet another thing to add to her list of 'Stuff that has Already Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong Since We Got Here.'

So. Fact three: Katara was seriously getting desperate.

Seriously desperate.

"Hey, is he gonna die any time soon, Katara? 'Cause if he is, we need to go looking for another Firebending teacher." She whipped around her head to face Sokka, a gleeful expression on her face. In fact, Katara shrewdly suspected that her brother was secretly happier than he had been in months.

"Yeah, Sugar Queen. Shouldn't you start performing the, hem, kiss of life?" Toph pointed out, smirking. Katara vehemently decided that she, too, would be getting a butt-kicking in the near future, if only for the fact that, at this point, Katara would need to beat up an entire village to compensate for the entire thing.

Aang looked rather nervous. "Um, Katara, you should probably do something. He's been lying there for a minute. I really think…you know…" he cleared his throat in a way that seemed to imply he'd rather jump head on into a tank of alligator-possums then go on. Nevertheless, Aang persevered. "I think you should, err, breathe into him…now…?" He ended in a terrified squeak at Katara expression, her face locked in an angry and indecisive snarl.

She took a deep breath. Although she hated to admit it (yes, really, honestly, hated to admit it) it would really be far too much of a hassle to find another teacher for Aang. It would mean traveling around the Fire Nation and wasting time they didn't have, all while knowing they could have avoided the entire thing.

Thus, the waterbender decided that it was time to (gulp) sacrifice.

Katara silently prepared a eulogy for the rapidly approaching disaster that she dubbed 'Death of my Honor.'

Katara closed the five-inch gap between her mouth and Zuko's. Blowing in a breath of her air, she tried with all her might not to think about what she was doing, and only to focus on the doing itself.

Breathe in.

Kiss Zuko (EW he had cabbage stuck in his teeth).

Breathe in.

Kiss Zuko (Katara was a merry mermaid, singing a merry song of merriness).

Breathe in.

Kiss Zuko (boy this was getting old).

Breath in.

Kiss Zuko(Katara was considering joining one of those convents for Earth Kingdom nuns).

BREATHE IN.

KISS ZUKO (oh, the god's better love her for this).

Just when Katara was about to swear chastity for life, Zuko let out a hacking cough—unfortunately just as she pressed her mouth against his once more.

He was delusional, Zuko swore later. And the sun in his eyes really gave her striking resemblance to Mai. Come on, couldn't she just let it go?

Either way, for some reason, just when Katara was sure the torment was over.

Zuko pulled her back down.

Zuko pulled her back down.

Oh, the horror, the horror, the horror Katara felt when Zuko actually started kissing her (and it involved much, much more then just touching lips).

It was disgusting. It was sick. It was wrong. It was—

Well, actually it was kind of nice. Seriously, if this was what Zuko could do, imagine what Aang was capable of with a little instructing! And he was the avatar! He was super-skilled at everything! Although she really doubted the naïve little airbender could ever make it up to this level of skill.

And, Katara admitted grudgingly, on the fireworks scale? This was SO much better. It made her feel all warm and tingly and on fire and explode-y (was that a word?) and passionate and erupting and fuzzy and steamy and down there it was all—

She cut herself off their. Because seriously, other body parts (and Katara was not talking about the kind that participated in hugs.)? With Zuko? Ew, ew, ew.

So, deciding she was way too imaginative for her own good, Katara focused back on the kiss. The tongue action was pretty great, she decided. And, for the sake of her future kissing-partner, maybe she should get a little practice in now.

Yeah. Right. For the sake of her future kissing partner.

Katara began hesitantly kissing him back, only to have the firebender respond with even more enthusiasm than before. She returned in part, running her fingers through his hair and deciding that wow this was awesome.

It figured that just as it was getting good, Zuko had to pull away. He broke the kiss with one great jerk of his neck, and Katara slowly raised her head, only now noticing his fingers tangled in her hair. Slowly, slowly, Zuko withdrew his hand from her dark brown locks, flushing when he saw her watching him.

They stared at each other, gasping. Katara noticed that the firebender's cheeks were oddly flushed.

In a flash, the two realized the compromising position that they were in. Somewhere during her Zuko's original revival attempt, Katara had found it necessary to straddle Zuko, in order to further reach his mouth, and, perhaps, get him to wake the hell up sooner than he would have otherwise.

Well. She was certainly straddling him now.

Zuko shoved Katara off him and scrambled away, cheeks dark red. "I—I—" he stammered, for once at a loss for words.

Katara stared at him, still mulling over events in her overly-lethargic mind. It would not be good to admit what she had felt during that kiss, she decided. In fact, it was probably best to act absolutely outraged, in order to sway Sokka and Zuko as far from the truth as possible. Now, if only she could get over the initial shock and say something.

At last, she found her voice. "You—you pervert!" she screeched, trying to sound as furious as possible without giving away her secret pleasure. "You kissed me! You kissed me! What happened to honor, hm? And, I mean, you kissed me! Kissed me?" Feigning frantic incredulity, Katara turned to a stunned Sokka, Aang, and Toph. "Did you see that? He kissed me! Well, say something!"

She paused, satisfied. Modesty be damned, she was pretty good at this acting stuff.

Just to make sure, Katara added another outraged, "Kissed me!"

Zuko looked absolutely terrified as his gaze darted from her, to Sokka, to Aang, to Toph; then back at Katara. "I'm sorry," he yelped, before sprinting for the ocean and diving into the waves.

"You better be!" Sokka screamed after a dumbfounded moment, rushing after the Firebender and wielding his ever-present boomerang. "Come back here, you coward!"

Wow. She really had done a good job.

Katara bounced back on her heels and watched as Aang and Sokka chased after Zuko, the former looking scandalized yet embarrassed at such a show of affection, while the latter seemed determined to hunt Zuko down and fight him to the death. She suppressed laughter. Leave it to Sokka to be way over-protective.

And damn right, too. She was not going to go around letting everyday normal boys make out with her as they pleased.

"I could tell, ya know," she said abruptly, absently drawing a few shaky lines in the hard packed sand.

"Tell what?" Katara asked, although she had a pretty good idea.

Toph smirked. "You really liked that, huh?"
Katara felt the heat rising to her cheeks. Just when she was about to go on another round, of crap, crap, crap this can't be happening, Toph spoke up.

"It's alright, Sugar Queen." Smiling, the twelve year old slowly headed towards the camp. Katara could nearly picture her grin as she shot back, "Guess there is someone for everyone, eh, Katara?"

"Maybe there is, Toph; maybe there is," Katara responded, beaming as she settled herself back on the sand. Glancing out at Zuko, still frantically being chased by Sokka and Aang, albeit with less vigor then before, she smiled.

Maybe it hadn't been such a bad day after all.

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.