Now comes word that Stukeholtz failed in his attempt to have his victim pay for the legal costs associated with the October settlement. In a two-page ruling, Orange County Superior Court Judge Gail Andler wrote Stukenholtz filed his case too late for her consideration. No pithy joke here: we're just too disgusted at a creep who dares make a young woman pay for his lawyer bills after getting fired twice for his pawing.

Gustavo Arellano is the editor of OC Weekly, author of the syndicated column "¡Ask a Mexican!", and Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America. He started at the paper with an angry, fake letter to the editor and went from there—only in Anacrime!