Emo Incorporated

It looks too real to be a joke. But hear this now, emo kids: if www.emo-wear.com is real, it pretty much drags a broken bottle across the jugular of your scene. The LA-based website ("Your one-stop shop for all your clothing needs") offers T-shirts, Polo shirts, jackets and shoes; eventually, the site promises, there'll also be pants, belts and buckles—anything you need to complete your emo uniform, all of it scooped up from thrift stores, so you don't have to! Items for sale include emo clichés: sports team logo tees; obscure school and activity tees ("Armenian Sister Academy, 1985," "De La Salle Spring Basketball Camp," "Camp Akela 1987," "La Cañada Elementary"); and shirts with such corporate logos as Allstate, Chevron and Nestle—basically what you find everyone sporting at any Midtown, Saves the Day or Dashboard Confessional show. "Be just like your dad!" the site operators scrawl beneath a "University of Redlands, Class of 1962" tee, and we can't imagine that being an effective sales pitch to any emo punk. (Neither is their insistence on describing practically every item as "rad.") One tee has a big, fluffy Lhasa Apso dog on the front—unless there's some sort of masterful stroke of irony going on here, what exactly is "rad emo punk" about running around with a picture of a fluffy dog on your chest? Really, emo-wear.com peeps: by trying to capitalize on the scene we assume you're a part of, you're really just helping to kill it—what Bloomingdale's did when it opened up a Grunge Boutique back around 1992. But maybe you're smarter than we think—maybe killing the scene is your ingenious point. (Rich Kane)

CHAIN TURNS 5
In more emo news, we were yakking with Chain Reaction owner Tim Hill a couple of weeks back, and he let us know his Anaheim all-ages club—OC's Emo Mecca, for better or worse—will turn five in the fall. To celebrate, Hill plans a massive three-day blowout over Labor Day weekend—well, as massive as can be without going over capacity, natch. One of those nights, he says, will feature an all-Vagrant Records bill, if everything comes together right (Vagrant Records! It's enough to give the emo kids an emo-gasm!). No, we don't have any clue who's playing, but keep an eye on the Chain Reaction website at www.allages.com for further info. (RK)

DR. FREECLOUD'S CLOSES—AND OPENS

Ron D Core
Photo by Keith May In Orange County, the techno revolution was pretty hard to find. That's because Dr. Freecloud's Mixing Lab, the county's first techno/electronica record store (open since 1994) was always well-hidden—at first behind some old, faded shops and bars, and then behind a mammoth Borders bookstore that went up when the shops and bars were torn down. Either way, this very hip record mecca has been cursed with being situated at one of the most distinctly unhip corners of 19th Street in Costa Mesa. For another week or so, anyway. But come July 4, Dr. Freecloud's will be purveying its beats and new sounds at the Lab anti-mall (you, being your fabulously cool self, surely know where the Lab is, but in case someone not-cool is reading this, it's at 2930 Bristol St., Costa Mesa). The new Dr. Freecloud's (they're dropping the "mixing lab") will debut in storefront A-109, which formerly housed the Empire Skate shop, next door to Cuban restaurant Habana. Freecloud's co-owner Ron D Core says the Lab people had been beckoning him to move for the past year: "We turned them down a few times. And then they finally gave us an offer we couldn't refuse." To wit: a couple of months' worth of free rent and $10,000 in tenant improvements. Core also plans a big grand-opening party in mid-July, featuring himself and a host of DJs, such as Special E and Minatek (the date was unconfirmed by press time, so swing by the store and ask, or hassle them yourself at 949-650-0909). Also expect swag giveaways of clothes, energy drinks, and the like. Yowza! (Andrew Asch)