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I feel completely hopeless trying to meet gay women for friendship and dating. I've looked into meet-ups, but most of them are either an advertisement for the above-mentioned club events with no actual structured meet-up planned, or are attended by mostly middle-aged lesbians, which is not really what I'm looking for. Make a diverse group of friends I know there are a lot of issues packed into this letter, but any advice you could give would be appreciated. Dating, regardless of your orientation, is a pretty universal process. Even if they had that kind of group in school, they most likely had to create a new social circle for themselves after graduation.

And you know what, those middle-age lesbians still can be good friends. And for the record, what you described about dating confusion is pretty universal. Get The Weekender in your inbox: The Globe's top picks for what to see and do each weekend, in Boston and beyond. A loud club environment doesn't lend itself to even introducing myself to someone I find attractive, and I don't really have the confidence to just start dancing up on somebody. I've looked into meet-ups, but most of them are either an advertisement for the above-mentioned club events with no actual structured meet-up planned, or are attended by mostly middle-aged lesbians, which is not really what I'm looking for. It does sound like your best bet is to skip the bar nights and check out Queer Tango, gay sports leagues, or other ongoing activities that are less about one night at a club, and more about making weekly connections. I'm generally a very independent person and have been to some of these events on my own, but I always feel very uncomfortable, unless I get drunk, which is not too cute. And they probably know some cool young lesbians, too. Tumbl Looking for lesbians in all the wrong places I'm a year-old woman and I came out as gay relatively recently. Because of that, I never established a group of lesbian friends while in college. Make a diverse group of friends Props on coming out and being your authentic self! I feel completely hopeless trying to meet gay women for friendship and dating. They might be the best people to turn to as you have these experiences. The happier you are at an event, the more likely you are to make friends. That way you can have the kinds of get-togethers that you would want to go to and specify the age group that you are targeting. The happier you are at an event, the more likely you are to make friends. Sign Up Thank you for signing up! Even if they had that kind of group in school, they most likely had to create a new social circle for themselves after graduation. You have to keep putting yourself out there in various ways. I know there are a lot of issues packed into this letter, but any advice you could give would be appreciated. If you don't know what kind of relationship a person wants, just ask. Because of that, I never established a group of lesbian friends while in college. I know there are a lot of issues packed into this letter, but any advice you could give would be appreciated. Maybe community theater, maybe something else. That will get you in a circle of new, like-minded people.

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