Forgiveness

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is found in Mark Chapter 2. Jesus has been preaching and teaching for some time and He goes to the little town of Capernaum. There a huge multitude follows Him. He enters a building and there is standing room only and there He preaches the Word of God. But there are others that want to see Jesus but there is no room. They have brought their sick friend because they believe Jesus can heal him. So they climb on the roof and uncover it and let their sick friend down right in the middle of Jesus' sermon!

One of the most important words in the English language is forgive. It certainly is a central concept in many faith traditions. Well, a concept, if not a common practice. Read a daily paper, listen to the evening news, or just consider family dynamics and it's rare to find a crisis that doesn't have a few roots in our human reluctance to forgive. Forgiving a transgression, an insult, a bodily injury is not easy, maybe not even a natural instinct. If you count the number of instances in the Hebrew and Greek biblical texts where we are admonished to "forgive," it appears that God thinks that we have to learn to forgive.

One of the most important words in the English language is forgive. It certainly is a central concept in many faith traditions. Well, a concept, if not a common practice. Read a daily paper, listen to the evening news, or just consider family dynamics and it's rare to find a crisis that doesn't have a few roots in our human reluctance to forgive. Forgiving a transgression, an insult, a bodily injury is not easy, maybe not even a natural instinct. If you count the number of instances in the Hebrew and Greek biblical texts where we are admonished to "forgive," it appears that God thinks that we have to learn to forgive.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is found in Mark Chapter 2. Jesus has been preaching and teaching for some time and He goes to the little town of Capernaum. There a huge multitude follows Him. He enters a building and there is standing room only and there He preaches the Word of God. But there are others that want to see Jesus but there is no room. They have brought their sick friend because they believe Jesus can heal him. So they climb on the roof and uncover it and let their sick friend down right in the middle of Jesus' sermon!

Forgiveness isn't always easy, but it's simple, right? Not really, as it turns out. A number of psychotherapists and academic psychologists have championed the healing power of forgiveness. But the trend also has bred a group of unrepentant critics. On one side is the "forgiveness movement," a two-decade effort to study the health effects of forgiving. Proponents of forgiveness, especially psychologist Robert D. Enright of the University of Wisconsin, have proposed that injured parties can learn to forgive their offenders.

HAMPTON - Before a crowd of football players at Bethel High School, Khalil R. Shareef opened up his heart, his life, his wounded past. He gave it to them straight. "When I was 3 years old, my father shot my mother five times in her head right in front of me," he told the students gathered in the school's cafeteria. "My dad said 'If I can't have you, nobody else will.' " His mother survived, but ended up in a wheelchair. "To this day, a bullet is still stuck in her spine. " The students listened to Shareef in rapt silence.

I have found myself thinking a lot about forgiveness lately. It may be because we, in the Christian tradition, have entered into the season of Lent - a time for reflection, repentance, and renewal. It may be that I have become more aware of pastoral concerns or headline news stories for which to forgive or not to forgive is the question - the betrayal of a spouse; the hurt feelings and angry words between family members, co-workers, or friends; the brutal dragging death of James Byrd Jr. in Jasper, Texas.

Forgiveness is central to Christian faith. At its heart is the God who welcomes the prodigal home and receives him as a son, not as a hired servant. Moreover, the grace which brings reconciliation also brings obligation. The obligation of the forgiven is to forgive. (Matthew 18:21-22,35) Nowhere is that better expressed than in the Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors." (Matthew 6:12) In short, the extension of forgiveness is proof positive of the reception of God's forgiveness.

An Indian was riding the range when he met an angry young cowboy. As they sat down by the campfire that evening the Indian asked, "Why you angry, cowboy?" The cowboy muttered, "Some no-good-dirty-rotten-jerk stole my saddle." Forty years later the now-elderly Indian was riding the range and saw his cowboy friend. He rode over to the campfire of the shriveled old cowboy and greeted him, "How!" "The no-good-dirty-rotten-jerk took it while I was sleeping. ... That's how!"

Today, of all days, is a good day to talk about forgiveness. Not as a means to better mental health. Not as a character exercise. But forgiveness of the sort that comes from a deeper well. Deeper than muscle and sinew, bone and marrow. Deeper than DNA and atomic structures. I'm talking forgiveness surfacing from the bottomless place where souls live and Creation itself was written. Forgiveness so deep I can't begin to fathom it. A son is slain. A mother weeps.

HAMPTON - Before a crowd of football players at Bethel High School, Khalil R. Shareef opened up his heart, his life, his wounded past. He gave it to them straight. "When I was 3 years old, my father shot my mother five times in her head right in front of me," he told the students gathered in the school's cafeteria. "My dad said 'If I can't have you, nobody else will.' " His mother survived, but ended up in a wheelchair. "To this day, a bullet is still stuck in her spine. " The students listened to Shareef in rapt silence.

Today is Yom Kippur, the highest of Jewish holidays and the most solemn of the year. It is a day of atonement: an opportunity to reflect on the past year's sins, request forgiveness and reconcile with our God. During the time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the days of repentance, observers take time to make amends with others. Leviticus 16:30 provides the message for Yom Kippur: "For on this day he will forgive you, to purify you, that you be cleansed from all your sins before God. " Jews observe the holiday with certain rituals: fasting, abstaining from sexual relations, refraining from bathing, and avoiding leather shoes, makeup or perfume.

There are a few words that are hard to define - love, forgiveness, argue. Sure, Webster tells us that love is "a strong affection arising out of kinship or personal ties. " It gets a little less clear with forgiveness: "The act of forgiving. " Argue. That's a real problem. According to Webster, to argue is "to give reasons for or against something. " Hmmm. OK, that sounds right. Now that we've all been schooled in basic English, try explaining these concepts to a 3-year-old.

I once kept track of all the promises I made in the course of a week. There were a lot of them! Of course, none of them were major promises of the order of, say, wedding vows, but I was still surprised at how many promises I made during one ordinary week. At home, I made promises about errands and cleaning, whether picking up a quart of milk or running a load of laundry. At work, I made promises about attending particular meetings and submitting reports on specific topics.

Let's face it. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. As hard as we may try to avoid conflict and challenges, eventually every relationship will face difficult situations. Dating couples may disagree about the direction of their relationship or about the timing of their wedding. Married couples may argue about a financial decision or about who should be responsible for a particular chore. Parents may battle about how to handle a disrespectful child or about whether or not their teenager is ready to date.

From promise sealed to promise delivered: That is the leap Christians have made in just a few months. With the compact timing of the church calendar, they have come from the birth of a Savior at Christmas to the sacrifice of a Savior — and the glorious demonstration, in his resurrection, of God's promise to his people fulfilled. The annual remembrance of that is both joyful and sobering. Joyful because it celebrates the ultimate gift of sinful slates wiped clean and reservations affirmed in eternity.

Today, millions of people are celebrating Easter, the holiest day on the Christian calendar. Easter marks the resurrection of Jesus, the promise of salvation, the restoration of life. The story of the crucifixion and resurrection is one of the Bible's most familiar and perhaps its most powerful. Above all else, it is a story of triumph brought by faith, forgiveness and sacrifice. How the world suffers today because of the lack of those qualities. Although Americans celebrate Easter in a variety of ways, some secular as well as religious, the day remains largely and blessedly free of the gross commercialization associated with Christmas.

President Clinton has disgraced himself by his faithless conduct: faithless to his family, faithless to his friends, faithless to his office, faithless, finally, to the American people. He has no moral standing any longer to lead, and no crisis, foreign or domestic, argues that the nation needs continuity more than integrity in its highest office. He should resign. And if he does not, the Starr Report, regardless of its unnecessarily tawdry detail, provides ample grounds for Congress to begin the process of impeachment.

NEWPORT NEWS — The city is moving toward forgiving two loans totaling $785,000 for the Warwick SRO building, the former Warwick Hotel in downtown. The building currently houses people who used to be homeless, in hotel rooms that have been converted into efficiency apartments. The Warwick SRO, which stands for single room occupancy, at 2410 West Ave., houses 88 people. It has operated since 1995 from a formerly vacant hotel building. The Warwick Hotel was originally built in 1883, but a fire destroyed the property in 1960.

Nothing provokes an intense verbal exchange like the subjects of religion or politics. Or Michael Vick. It's been an interesting NFL season, observing the reaction of fans to Vick's performance as quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles. The city has for the most part embraced him — and, believe me, it's a tough town. Yet, here in his hometown of Newport News and the surrounding cities, there is a visceral response at the mere mention of his name. A predictable number of people will remind us that he was convicted of operating a dog-fighting ring responsible for killing animals for sport.