Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I admit it. I don't have regular television and thus, only see the commercials on Hulu or in my magazines. As I was flipping through one of my fave mags the other day, I came across an ad that made me think, "What the hell?!" There were so many thoughts going through my head, that I just had to share them.

I realize this ad has been out for a while, but since this is the first time I've seen it, I'm weighing in.
Neon colored tampons and patterned pads, are you serious, Kotex?! First of all, you know what this stuff is for right? And second, who the hell is going to see it? I'm sure every teenage girl is dying to compare tampon colors during polite conversation. "Gee Morganthenia, what color are you wearing today?"

I love that Kotex is advertising this as, "new colors and designs to banish boredom." Really? Boredom? I don't know about you, but when I'm writhing in pain, the last thing I'm feeling is bored, let alone bemoaning my boring white tampon. "OMG, this would be so much better if I had a freakin' blue colored tampon!! Curse you Tampax for your lack of vision!!!"

Am I the only one wondering who the hell thought up this genius idea? Since absurd is the new tampon, I have a couple of ideas too. Might I suggest a glow-in-the-dark tampon? How fun would that be to tell someone, "You wouldn't know this to look at me, but I'm totally glowing on the inside." Or days-of-the-week labeled tampons. "Damn it, I'm all out of Tuesday tampons, I hope no one notices I'm wearing a Friday." Or my personal fave, fortune cookie tampons! Look forward to your period while you look to your future and maybe include lucky lotto numbers too. Have a truly "happy period" with inspirational sayings like, "You will have a bloody good day" and "You will experience relief, in about 5-7 days" or my new favorite, "Congratulations, you're not pregnant!!" Now I'm just waiting for a phone call from the Kotex product development team.
PS, don't even get me started on the new Summer's Eve ad "Power to the V."

HAHAHAHAHA, the first time I saw those commercials I totally went off on a major rant and my hubs was like, WOAH, calm down. But SERIOUSLY. I'm about to start my 'happy time' which means, even if I had neon tampons, which I refuse to own, I'll be punching everyone I meet in the face. Or at least wanting to.

I hope they don't make mood tampons next. Or maybe they should so that they can see that periods are not freaking happy (except for that first second when we're all like, YES, I'm not pregnant this month!) after all.

Wanted to say thanks for the laughs, ladies! Found your blog through a search for "TEEN KOTEX PRODUCTS", in my quest to help my DD-she's insistent that there is a new line of pads that are like "a memory foam pillow or something....", she says ROFL!!! Wish me luck ladies. lol