I guess you could call me a Holy Thursday Virgin. I have never went to the actual celebration before tonight. I am kind of glad that I didn't because I don't think it would have moved me as much prior to tonight.

As usual the Navy Brat in me made sure I arrived at the church with ample time to get a good seat. The church was bare, dark and quiet. Parishioners arrived quietly and reverently. I had brought a dear friend with me tonight which made the celebration even more moving. I was not expecting to be moved like I was but I am so happy that I was. The friend is someone that gave me the gift of forgiveness. Something that I can truly learn from.

As the procession started I had no clue what I was getting myself into. As they brought all the alter decorations and oils and food and scriptures I thought hum interesting but ok. But then when all 8 priest & 2 deacons came in and laid themselves at the Alter, I knew I was going to be moved. Tears welled up in my eyes. I thought to myself "oh no! am I going to start this ball baby thing again every time I went to church?". Just the shear sight of 10 people laying down with total love for the Lord.

As the night went on I found myself setting on the edge of the pew so as to not miss a single thing. It was so strange to not see the crucifix above the Alter nor to see all the paintings, statues or dressed Alter. But it put into prospective of just what was going on. The words meant so much more to me then they ever had. As the celebration continued I realized that I had not noticed anyone around other then the few parishiners around me. At the time of the part of the mass where we shake each others hands a new friend came over to me and made me feel welcome. It was really so nice to see he and his wife how I have become friends with recently. It was nice to actually share this with others. None of my family member attended the service with me other then the dear friend that sat next to me.

The final procession of the Knights of Columbus guarding and leading our Monsignor with the Eucharist to its new location was so regal. To walk silently with the entire church over to the parish Hall for the Adoration was completely mind blowing. I don't think I can put into words to explain how humbling, moving, enlightening, scared, fantastic, monumental this experience was.

One by One we made our way into the hall silently and so reverently. I sat for a moment and then said the rosary a few times praying for my family & friends. As the crowd died down I made my way up to the make shift Alter to make my moment of Adoration. This is where I was so AMAZED. As I knelt there for a moment and started to pray. I felt tears fall from my eyes. Tears that I had never really experienced. These were not Tears of Fear but Tears of Excitement, Tears of Total Rejoicing. I was home. I had opened my heart and I was listening. I for this moment realized that I do know how to pray. I realized at this moment what I was so afraid of all this time was gone. Gone was the fear of making a mistake. Gone was the fear of being judged for doing it wrong. In it's place was a calm clean excited new chapter in my life with the church. I was home!

What a fantastic experience I had never expected.Thank you God for allowing me to be open to receiving your messages.To be available to listen with an open heart!Thank you! I can't say that enough.

Stay tuned for more exciting chapters of my life with the Catholic Church.Sneak Preview: My Triduum Journey of 2009 - Part 2 Stations of the Cross & Good Friday Service - Coming Soon to my Blog

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Footprints...

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.