05:50 Yes! Caroline Lucas elected for the Green Party in Brighton Pavillion! The UK's first Green MP!

05:54 FUCK FUCK FUCK. Richmond Park taken by that smug, smarmy, little git Zac Goldsmith. 29,461 for him vs 25,370 for Susan Kramer :( *cries*. I've just asked Richard if we can move house to a couple of streets away so we can have Ed Davey as our MP instead.

I'm so upset about this. It's one thing losing our seat to the Tories, but another losing it to a GIT. There are perfectly nice and acceptable members of the Conservative Party! (e.g. Helen Whatley, the candidate in Kingston & Surbiton). Zac Goldsmith is a slimy prick who bought his seat with Daddy's money. Gah.

Though I am very, very slightly cheered up by the discovery that Kingston & Surbiton had a Monster Raving Loony candidate called Monkey the Drummer. Awesome!

06:11 LibDems hold Portsmouth South, and St Austell & Newquay. We're still waiting for Nick Clegg's result! Apparently counting in the six Sheffield constituencies has been A Mess.

06:24 A few more LibDem declarations: we hold Cornwall North, Orkney & Shetland, and Hornsey.

It's okay. I'm stuck with Obama, who promised things the president really can't even do. Luckily for me, the nature of the position was designed to limit his power. He seems good at public relations, which is a good chunk of his job.