THE HEART OF MADNESS: We could never have dreamed how hard it can be to activate a dormant dial-up option. (While our DSL is being restored. Dont ask. We dont understand that one either.) Today, though, our ISP has convinced us. The analysts have been wonderfully brave, trying to buck up their comrades. But well postpone until the morrow, assuming well be functioning then.

Youll note that we dont name the ISP. Yes, theyve pretty much driven us mad. But no—we arent totally crazy.