Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Client: I guess Other Client (OC) disagrees with your opinion, so she's going to call you for some clarification. [read: She thinks she knows more than you and is calling to argue with you because you told her "no" and she really wants to hear "yes."]

Me: I can't rewrite my opinion. I issued my opinion...what is there to clarify?

Client: I can send you a copy of Revised Code 505.60, which is what OC thinks supports us...though I'm sure you're aware of it...and I don't know...maybe the Constitution is more restrictive than the statute...but it says...and I don't have it in front of me, so I don't have the exact language...it says something like as long as there isn't an increase in actual dollars spent, then we're ok. [read: I didn't go to law school and I haven't practiced law in this state for the last three years, but I slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night]

Me: I don't think it's necessary for you to send me the statutes...I have multiple methods of accessing Ohio law.

Client: Oh, yeah, I'm sure you do... [read: I forget you're an actual lawyer and you do things like...I don't know...READ THE LAW before issuing an opinion]

Me: I can assure you I have researched this area thoroughly and I stand by my opinion...unless there has been some change in the law since I issued the opinion last week?