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talking to another man

Posted by Anonymous

37 Replies

ive recently been contemplating talking to another man other than dh. I know if dh ever.found out he would leave me (or so he says) I dont want to ruin my marriage or hurt dh I just miss male attention and for some reason dh's attention just isnt cutting it, anyone else go through this or have any advice?

I felt the same way when I was married. I did start talking to another man, just online. It turned into texting and then phone calls. I told my husband about it, but he said he didn't care because "he trusted me." It never went past phone calls, but it made me realize we weren't happy in our marriage anymore. We split 4 months later.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
on Feb. 22, 2013 at 3:37 AM

I was thinking about just online as well thanks for sharing

Quoting Anonymous:

I felt the same way when I was married. I did start talking to another man, just online. It turned into texting and then phone calls. I told my husband about it, but he said he didn't care because "he trusted me." It never went past phone calls, but it made me realize we weren't happy in our marriage anymore. We split 4 months later.

Of course many women have been thru this - well, 'this' being, feeling a little neglected and wanting some attention and/or being attracted to some one else. My advice? Honor your vows. Talk to your husband, tell him your unhappy - go to counselng. Cut this other guy out've your life. Marriage is a commitment, not a 'plan A'

Talking and working things out can help in some situations. Sometimes, though, its not meant to be and vows or no vows, its time to walk away.

Quoting tharealty2:

Of course many women have been thru this - well, 'this' being, feeling a little neglected and wanting some attention and/or being attracted to some one else. My advice? Honor your vows. Talk to your husband, tell him your unhappy - go to counselng. Cut this other guy out've your life. Marriage is a commitment, not a 'plan A'

sometimes I debate if ive fallen out of love but the thought of not being with him or seeing him everyday makes me sad and I feel like if I leave or end it im going to regret it.

Quoting Emmakins84:

Talking and working things out can help in some situations. Sometimes, though, its not meant to be and vows or no vows, its time to walk away.

Quoting tharealty2:

Of course many women have been thru this - well, 'this' being, feeling a little neglected and wanting some attention and/or being attracted to some one else. My advice? Honor your vows. Talk to your husband, tell him your unhappy - go to counselng. Cut this other guy out've your life. Marriage is a commitment, not a 'plan A'

by Anonymous 3
on Feb. 22, 2013 at 4:08 AM

1 mom liked this

I had an emotional affair with a long-term male friend. We spent a lot of time together. I told him everything. This lasted for 2 years, I fell in love with him and he said he was in love with me. My dh kinda thought we were too close, but it wasn't physical while I was married. It did become so after I left. I realized that if I was lonely enough to fall in love with someone else, that may e it was time to go. We did counseling, but the counselor said my dh had checked out and didn't care anymore. I would say leave first, but good luck with whatever you choose. It's kinda. Lose/ lose situation:(

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
on Feb. 22, 2013 at 4:13 AM

we have been to counseling but dh quit going because he didnt want to relive things and hear abt how he was always wrong and fucking up

Quoting Anonymous:

I had an emotional affair with a long-term male friend. We spent a lot of time together. I told him everything. This lasted for 2 years, I fell in love with him and he said he was in love with me. My dh kinda thought we were too close, but it wasn't physical while I was married. It did become so after I left. I realized that if I was lonely enough to fall in love with someone else, that may e it was time to go. We did counseling, but the counselor said my dh had checked out and didn't care anymore. I would say leave first, but good luck with whatever you choose. It's kinda. Lose/ lose situation:(

No. Have more respect for yourself than to step outside of your marriage like that. Talk to your spouse and tell him you need more attention and or affection. Don't sell yourself short and risk losing your family over talking to someone else. Having attention isn't worth losing it all, is it?

Marriage is a commitment and responsibility. It's not about just about getting attention. We often start with passionate love and then evolve into companionate love. Passionate love only lasts a few months to a year and then we start to learn to love our spouse with a deeper love that goes beyond selfish desires. Do you have children with this man? If so, it's not about attention it's about taking care of your responsibilities. Have you told him how you feel? Maybe he feels the same way. Try bringing back passion with him first. Being a two-timer is not smart. Is he faithful to you?

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