Wednesday, November 2, 2016

When you love you wish to do things for. You wish to sacrifice for. You wish to serve.

i got up to get breakfast and lunch ready; you travel back again; the pick up is at 6.30am; you will call me then; you did; on time; again; not really relax; as your usual self coz of the long way; i shrug and smile; we talked about some fun stories; a mouse stealing cheese; random stuff; my hangover weekend and lost pool games and my meet up with J and how he wasnt too worried; even his gf; i have to say i will not be so calm; i would properly yell at people or you; you said again you and i are similar; you were glad someone asked about your presence after few weeks of away; you feel pleased; i would too; that means that someone remembers you; you were telling me about your trip back home; easy going and you want to socialise more; i talk briefly about my class; about some ethic and non sexual relationship; we are different; thats how i feel; you listen to my problem and i also listen to yours; we still want to meet; i want you to pick some place near that centralise so that it does not trouble us too much; so you can justify it; i ask you to think about it more but on the other hand i already want to prepare for it; you said it is easy to talk to me but perhaps deep down i want to create chaos; so that you know that it is not all that great with me; so you find a reason to walk away; so that you realise in the long run this will not work; i cant help but think that we are romanticizing our relationship too much and both want us to become this ideal projection of the one we want to be with; which we have lost in the middle of the way or perhaps that someone that we long for but unable to reach and get.

in the end -

I want to say something is missing.... then i think maybe it's more like someone... But in actual perhaps maybe its not even someone... Its a feeling with someone; but in this case the someone happens to be you.