Toronto Transit Rep Explains What Not To Do If Liam Neeson Gets On Your Train IRL

(Some spoilers for the new Liam Neeson film “The Commuter” are ahead)
Brad Ross, the executive director of corporate communications for the Toronto Transit Commission, wrote a column in The Globe and Mail Thursday offering advice for how real life commuters could handle the situation should they somehow find themselves participating in the plot of “The Commuter. The advice is largely centered around the concept of “don’t do the things that people in the movie did.” This is all in good fun, of course.
The plot of “The Commuter” involves a regular guy, played by Neeson, being propositioned by some kind of criminal organization (repped by Vera Farmiga) to find an unknown passenger on the train before it reaches its last stop. What results is the same kind of thing that always happens when Neeson teams up with director Jaume Collet-Sera: copious shenanigans, conspiracies and action.
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Ross’ column is largely a list of things not to do in that specific sort of harrowing situation, with the highlight being this three-part bit of advice:
-If you somehow manage to climb under the train’s carriage from inside the car itself, then wow. Double wow if you’re 60, as Neeson’s character reminds us of on several occasions. -If you live through that stunt, then do not attempt to roll out from between the tracks as the train passes over you. You will not survive. -Congratulations, you have survived. Do not attempt, then, to jump back onto the moving train. Take a cab. Grab an Uber. Rent a bike. Thanks for riding.
Ross also manages to address a hot-button issue of the moment: sexual harassment.
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“If, after all the gun play, bare-knuckle fights, sudden poker games and broken air conditioning (hot-car alert, TTC riders), a train crew member then flirts with you, inquiring about the seriousness of you and your boyfriend’s relationship, do call us so we can investigate this wildly inappropriate behaviour.”
You can read the full column in The Globe and Mail here. “The Commuter” is out now.

“The Pelican Brief” (1993) – The oldest film on this list, Washington teamed up with a red hot Julia Roberts to bring in $101 million dollars in the U.S. and $195 million worldwide.

“Schindler’s List” (1993) – Neeson earned his only Oscar nomination for his portrayal of a businessman during the Holocaust who grows close to his Jewish workers and resolves to save as many as he can. The film resonated with audiences, earning $96 million in the U.S. and $321 million worldwide.

“Crimson Tide” (1995) – Washington starred with Gene Hackman in this nuclear suspense thriller, which pulled in $91 million domestic and $157 worldwide.

“Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace” (1999) – Neeson’s role as Qui-Gon Jinn in the continuation of the sci-fi epic soured critics but raked in a whopping $1.027 billion worldwide, $475 million domestic.

“Remember the Titans” (2000) – Washington led an integrated football team to a championship and led the film to $115 million domestic and $137 million worldwide.

“Man on Fire” (2004) – Washington’s turn as a vengeful assassin earned $78 million in the U.S. and $130 million worldwide.

“Batman Begins” (2005) – Neeson’s portrayal of Henri Ducard/Ra’s al Ghul helped define Christopher Nolan’s Batman films. His musings of masks, symbols and justice would shape many of the trilogy’s themes and helped power the film to $207 million domestic and $374 million worldwide.

“American Gangster” (2007) – Washington’s turn as the ruthless, capitalistic drug kingpin Frank Lucas drove audiences to the theaters en masse, earning $130 million in the U.S. and $266 million worldwide.

“Unstoppable” (2009) – This Tony Scott film barreled like an out-of-control train towards $82 million domestic and $168 worldwide.

“Taken” (2009) – The film that launched his action career, Neeson surprised with his ease in playing a badass and audiences turned out in droves, to the tune of $145 million in the U.S. and $227 million worldwide.

“The A-Team” (2010) – This adaptation of the hit 1970s TV show, with Neeson as Col. John “Hannibal” Smith, brought in $77 million in the U.S. and $177 million worldwide.

“The Book of Eli” (2010) – Washington is a post-apocalyptic prophet on a mission in this underrated action film, which drew in audiences to the tune of $95 million and $157 million worldwide.

“Clash of the Titans” (2010) – “Release the Kraken!” This summer blockbuster about the mythical Greek gods, with Neeson as Zeus, earned $163 million domestic and $493 million worldwide.

“Wrath of the Titans” (2012) – Neeson returns as Zeus to help save the ancient world from the Titans in this summer hit, which earned $84 million domestic and $305 million worldwide.

“Taken 2” (2012) – Neeson returns as a man with “a very particular set of skills” who must save himself and his ex-wife from vengeful kidnappers. The sequel pulled in $140 million domestic and $376 million worldwide.

“Safe House” (2012) – Washington plays a fugitive on the run with his CIA handler (Ryan Reynolds) in this spy thriller, which pulled in $126 million in the U.S. and $208 million worldwide.