Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Little boxes - and those of us who don't fit in them.

I read (well, skimmed) an article the other day: pensionsers should learn to go online, as it will combat loneliness. Underneath it lay three assumptions: pensioners are lonely, they need specific encouragement to join in with digital playing, and that younger people know what is best for them.

What springs to mind when you read the word 'pensioners'? Grannies by the fireside? Granddads with zimmer frames? Grandmas dribbling into their cocoa? Grandpas with holes in their slippers? The woman next door who helps in the charity shop on Monday, meals on wheels on Tuesday (she has to finish early to fetch grandchildren from school), does a language class on Wednesday, yoga on Thursday and organises transport for the local Day Centre on Friday? (She relaxes with wine at the weekend!)

Last time you had to fill in a form that gave you boxes for your age - did you notice the divisions - under 25, 26-35, 36-45, 46-55, 56-65 - and over 65.

This presumes that men and women over 65 have needs and ideas in common. I'm not quite there yet - but am preparing for the scrap.

I accept that ideas, interests, abilities and energy changes over a lifetime. Thank goodness it does - it means we can continue to surprise ourselves. But the implication that all that stops at 65 is so obviously false that such short-cut-boxes serve only to infuriate rather than to clarify the glorious differences of people at various stages of their lives.

So, going back to the article that set me off, how about acknowledging that loneliness is not the prerogative of the over 65s but can happen at any stage of life. That individuals can, unless seriously ill or with disabilities that make thinking impossible, make their own decisions about what they need - which may or may not involve computers.

And - vitally - to realise that pensioners come in as many shapes, sizes, colours and abilities as the rest of the population. And we can - and do - think for ourselves!

11 comments:

Here! Here! I was very pleased to apply for my bus pass but am reluctant to let people see it as I'm not really that old... am I! As for the tick boxes, the same thing applies to the other end. 0 to 25 years is one heck of a group to be bundled up in.

I have to add that some of us 'slightly older' ladies are more/less active than others. Which is a clumsy way of me saying that I think you're amazing.

I think the media should realise that people are staying younger for longer and women into their seventies are providing free child care looking after grandchildren for all those " younger" ones out there and that is a far harder job than turning up to work everyday. I for one will be dragged kicking and screaming into old age I will not give into it,now where's my mini skirt and platform shoes.

I am with all you ladies here, and I also get irritated by the assumptions those that believe they know what's good for us make. Since I joined the 56-65 group, Jo, I've received endless brochures about how I can fill my time at the cost (or is it mercy?) of the local council. In fact, I want to go and shove their well-meaning flyers right back in their well-meaning boxes and tell them I could give them a few tips about how to fill their time too - rather than sending me what amounts to junk mail. I won't of course, because there may well be people who appreciate everything they have to offer, but like you, Jo, I don't really like being categorised into a specific area of need. I'm going sky-diving in May, so I wonder where they would put that piece of information.

I love Anne's approach here, and Ros's too. I agree people are staying younger longer, and that maybe the statisticians should do some research to find out what the more mature among us are really up to these days. I happen to know of one who goes backpacking in Thailand and Laos, rides elephants and gets chased by tigers just for fun.

Our ideas of what is old are changing. I have a bound magazine from the 1850s which has a long essay in it about a wonderful old lady that the writer knows. She has lovely skin, is active, kind, wise, takes care of herself, is always well dressed and keeps very busy. One of the things she does is look after her father, who is now 70! gulp.

I totally understand what you are saying and agree with you for the most part.Marketers use crowd maths (for want of a better name) when they design surveys and plan services. Of course, there will be many who don't fit in with their models, but there will more who do. I may not like it, but I do understand why.Great post, Jo. xxx