"The Supreme Court heard arguments on the constitutionality of same-sex
marriage. It could be a major blow for those who believe that marriage
should be between two bitter and eventually overweight people of the
opposite sex."

-- Jimmy Kimmel

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: You're saying there are two kinds of marriages: the full marriage and then this sort of skim-milk marriage.

Stephen Colbert: Yes -- skim milk marriage. I have always
suspected that skim milk was gay. I mean, for god's sake, it's got
"homogenized" right on the carton. And please: don’t call me a bigot
just because I'm lactose intolerant!