Repaying The Blessing

Okay, well, it’s been far too long since I even logged on here, and I’ll admit, my goal of blogging here twice a week has been overshadowed by the judge search I am forced to undertake since being laid off with no warning. It’s funny how some people will lay you off or fire you and want to act like it’s just business and everything should be friendly and fun despite that. Maybe if I understand the foggy reasons, but if I ask what I did wrong and you can’t tell me, then I think we’re not going to be talking very friendly from that point on. Especially when my wife and I are struggling to stay financially afloat after some medical treatment last year messed up our credit (it’s what happens when you put medical bills first and credit cards second). They knew our finances were on the edge and yet they act like firing/laying me off is no big deal. For them maybe, for me, it was a blindside of the cruelest kind.

We are not bankrupt. At least not yet. And as long as I find employment again by the time severance runs out and can make comparable wages, we’ll be just fine, but I must admit that forcing me to sign a termination agreement to get severance and being unable to justify my dismissal don’t make me a fan. Of course, I’m forbidden by said termination agreement to say anything bad about the company. I certainly won’t have anything nice to say, so I suppose I won’t mention them by name at all.

In any case, that’s why my writing muse has been a little cloudy lately. I am thankful for the encouragement of friends like Jay Lake, Ken Scholes, and others locally who have taken the time to encourage me with a few words. Lake and Scholes are writer friends I met online. We’ve never met face to face despite having many conversations through PM and chat and FB comments, yet they took the time to encourage and support me at a most difficult time. And they and others who did speak, came up with the right words, too. Those words mean more than people may realize. Words of sympathy but encouragement. Nothing patronizing. Nothing condescending. Some people just don’t know what to say to another in times like these. Thankfully, in my life, those people mostly found the strength to just not say anything at all. But for those who did say something, what they said was well chosen and well received.

I appreciate that support and friendship. And although I wish them no ill will, I hope I can be as gracious with my words in the future when they or others hit rough spots as I am now. If so, I will know I’ve repaid the blessing.