As Irrelevant As A Manufacturing Based Economy

There’s a primary of some kind in Michigan. I forget which day. So have most of the candidates. Hell, the Michigan Democrats shot themselves in the foot over the kind of asinine thing that only complete ninnies and the sort of people who can name all of the characters in the Lord of the Rings care about. They don’t even get to have a real primary. Instead, they get to watch anyone with half a functioning cerebral cortex load up the U-Haul and get the fuck out of Michigan in order to go where it is warm and the jobs are plentiful.

One State Recession? Maybe it’s just you. The rest of us aren’t spending three or four generations on an assembly line. Most folks work hard at a shitty job so their children can have a better life. Thanks to the UAW and houses full of lead paint chips, you booger-eaters have all been replaced by robots and, well, Southerners. By way of metaphor, your vaunted Michigan football team got beat in the Big House by little Appalachian State. See a pattern here? Even Ted Nugent moved to Texas. If that tells you anything.

So have your little primary. It is meaningless and sad. Like a car that runs on ethanol.

Win–Romney: If not, you are done sir. Better hope all the delegates don’t move somewhere warm between now and the convention.

Place–McCain: Focused on South Carolina. Spending money here in anticipation of November.

Show–Huckabee: The Michigan Militia Welcomes You!

As for the Nevada caucuses, when they have more than five electoral college votes, then maybe someone will give a shit.