The Robot Revolution

The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) brought us the vertical-takeoff X-Plane and the guided bullet. They have some great new research underway and appear to have finally built an army of terrifying robot warriors that will now rule over us in a dystopian hellscape where government authority is absolute and all-pervasive.

I, for one, welcome our new terminator overlords. It would be foolish to do otherwise.

For example… there’s nowhere to hide from Pet-Proto, who will navigate any obstacle to serve your arrest warrant:

Pet-Proto was just the beginning… his more advanced cousin, ATLAS, will likely lead the machine armies.

The overlords will, of course, have four-legged minions, such as “Big Dog,” who will hunt you down like small game and even perform a little dressage-like victory dance when you’ve been dispatched. Your only hope for escape is that you can hear him coming from (several) miles away, thanks to his two-stroke, weed-whacker motor.

DARPA’s “Cheetah” can run 28 mph. If you are perchance a cyborg yourself and can outrun it, it will probably be equipped with short-range ballistic missiles to finish the job.

DARPA states that the robots will carry equipment and supplies to soldiers in a tough spot in the field. A worthy goal, but it’s tough to swallow that all this amazing new technology will be used to such a limited extent. For now, the robots are being tested in an intra-agency “Robotics Challenge” competition in order to improve their functionality in real space.