Thursday, 12 May 2016

Blame Someone Else Day

Dearest honey buns,

Did you know that on the first Friday 13th of the year (and tomorrow's Friday 13th is actually the first and last Friday 13th of this year ;) just so you know...) there is a celebration of "Blame Someone Else Day"? Imagine that tomorrow you can blame all your worries and troubles on anyone else. Think well upon whom you wish to place the blame. You can do it only once a year!... oh, wait, but don't we actually do this on a daily basis in our life? Don't we usually like to shift the blame so we are never on the "dark side", in trouble? I think we have become very good at this; so good that we do not even agree/accept/admit that we do this on a daily basis. We started to lie to ourselves and the people around us. It is never our fault... the fault is always out there but never with or within us.

There isn't a certain point in time when "Blame Someone Else Day" started to take place but the blame sometimes falls on Anne Moeller of Clio, Michigan for creating this day. On the very first Friday 13th in 1982, Anne's alarm clock did not go off and she overslept; being late for all the appointments in that particular day. According to the legend she spent all day shifting the blame from herself to others - kind girl this Anne ;) right?! What would you have done in her stead? Would you have shifted the blame or tell the truth - be sincere! But why do we blame others? Why is it easier for us to shift the blame and point the finger at others?

1. People are mean. We tend to shift the blame to people that we visualise as being "bad" in one way or another. This badness comes from the way we see people and the way we reflect our philosophy of life (values and all) upon the person we project it to. But think about it when you do that as none is without blame and the visions of life almost never match between 2 persons. Are you without any blame? Are you without any fault? Are you without any sin? Are you sure you can cast that stone you are holding in your hand? ;)

2. People lose control and get scared. That's when they usually panic and start shifting the blame on the first person they see or the first person that comes to their mind. You know you saw this often... losing control is scary and especially frightening to the people that feel the need to control everything in their life. It's like doing a parachute jump... you are up there, in the air, free falling with several hundred kilometres per hour and you know the only thing that will save you is your parachute. And you pray all goes well... but you never know... it's the feeling that you no longer have control, that life slips away and in that moment adrenaline kicks in - some like it and some don't. They find it frightening to let yourself go like that, without having any strings attached... that's when blame comes in... you blame things on the instructor, the friends who came with you, the weather - anything! Except yourself for accepting to do it - it was your choice ;) you could have said no!

3. People learn about blame - sometimes at a very early age, sadly mostly from their parents. Shifting blame is something I see in most families, no matter the country! And it's a sad sight to behold... instead of teaching children about the truth and how life works, teaching them to be responsible grown-ups/adults I see more and more cases of blame being placed on grandparents, aunts, uncles, relatives, friends and sadly upon teachers. I remember the reverence and the high status teachers had when I was small. I remember how children would always look up to them and they would always have the right answer and right thing to say... Now, it feels as if parents and children alike place the blame of the failures of the small ones only on the teacher and school and way of life... how do you want your child to be happy and grow and develop if you don't speak to them at home and you consider it as normal if you leave them in front of the pc/tablet/TV for the whole day, while "you do your thing"?!

4. People have issues accepting life/facts/actions. They have problems accepting things and letting some stuff go, not clinging to the same issue all over again. We love to come back to some fact that occurred a long time ago and put it back to the spotlight when time suits us... when we wish to blame someone. We do not accept the reality that exists and we develop our own alternative. We hold on tight to it until that lie (the false reality) becomes the truth. It is sad and some people do that on a daily basis and they forget the real truth. It may be ugly, it may be not according to the worlds standards, but I truly believe one should keep a firm grip on the real facts of ones life. There is no way to move on unless one accepts whom one is and its background.

5. People forget that by pointing a finger to someone it already incriminates your own person: there is only one (maybe 2) fingers pointing toward the person you point the finger to, but the rest of the fingers (the rest of the hand) will always point to you! There is always a way to retrace a lie and uncover the truth and the truth, somehow, always has a way to make it to the surface. Blaming someone for your own actions never works out in the end. It is better to be true to yourself and your conscience and tell the truth, no matter the costs! I always feel better when telling the truth, even when the truth hurts. You may lose people by telling the truth, that can also happen, but you need not worry; on the long run you will know that you did things the right way.

Be strong and don't be afraid to set an example: tell the truth and dont shift the blame! Have courage and take responsibility! Tomorrow s "Blame Someone Else Day" but let's change that together: let it be the first day you tell the truth from the second you wake up to the moment when you go to sleep! Let's do that and see where the day takes us. Let me know how your #tellthetruthday went :) Sharing is caring so I will await for your stories ;)

Yours sincerly,
The Twisted Red LadyBug That Prefers To Tell The Truth