Cuprum oxydatum/Smothered in Love

de Deborah Collins

A woman in her late thirties came with muscular pains and menstrual cramps. “In fact my whole body feels cramped at times.”

When asked to go into the pains a bit more, and to experience the emotions that went with the pains, she said “I feel so cramped by my family. Everybody wants a piece of me. They can never leave me alone – my husband and my children all have their problems, and I am the one they rely on to solve things for them.”

As such this is not an unusual feeling for a wife and mother, so I asked her to go back in time to when this feeling started. She took her time, went inside herself, and said “I felt that way in my childhood. I was the third of three children, but I was treated differently from my older siblings. Most people would say I had nothing to complain about; I got everything I asked for, and more. But it didn’t feel right, it was too much. I felt almost suffocated by all the attention I got, I felt like I couldn’t just be myself. Once I even ran away from home for a day, and when I came home, instead of being berated, they gave me a bicycle! I didn’t know how to explain how I was feeling, I felt so ungrateful, but so smothered. When I came back my Grandmother took me aside and told me something that helped me to understand a bit more. She said that before me had been another child who had died shortly after childbirth, and my parents were devastated. It seemed that they put all the love that should have gone to that child onto me, but it didn’t feel “real”."

Combining the complaints of “cramp” on the one hand, and “suffocation/smothering” on the other hand, I gave Cuprum oxydatum 200C.
Cuprum is, after all, symbolised by Venus, the goddess of love. It seemed to be a case of smothering love rather than mothering love. Oxydatum, according to Jan Scholten, has to do with the feeling of being used, or in some cases, abused. In this case, the girl was being used as a substitute for her sister rather than being there in her own right, so the attention she received from her parents felt oddly abusive rather than loving.

After the remedy she reported an increase in energy and a decrease of her pains. “I am less angry with my family, and feel less bothered by their constant neediness of me. I feel that I can say “no” when I need to and “yes” when I want to. "