Tuesday, November 09, 2004

ROAD RAGE

Please kindly get the fuck off my road. You drive like a complete asshole. Let me enlighten you on a few rules to road ettiquette as you clearly have never been taught them.

Scenerio #1: There is a car in the middle lane going significantly slower than all of traffic around. Yes, he is the moron, however, it does not mean that if you ride his ass 3 inches from his bumper he will miraculously find his gas pedal. This is only going to cause an accident, in which case I no longer think it should be called an "accident", but an instigated wreck.

Scenario #2: I am merging onto the highway. YOU are in the far right lane that I WILL be coming into. You see me, I know you do b/c you have now decided to speed up so that I cannot get onto your road? Let me tell you something, I AM coming onto your road and you need to be aware of this and get over into one of the many other 5 lanes available so that I may safely enter the highway without having to force you into the other lane.

Let me preface this one with this: I drive a 4 cylinder big 'ol jeep that goes fast on the downhill and slow on the uphill. I cannot help it, that's how it drives.
Scenario#3: I am in the fast lane trying to pass someone and I am on the down hill but there is an uphill approaching rapidly. I KNOW that I must get over as soon as I pass pokey to allow speedy "small cock" porche behind me b/c he is about to become my own personal enema if I don't. As soon as I have passed pokey and have given a sufficient amount of room so that I can get over in his lane without cutting him off, impatient little dicked porshe guy passes me on the right!