Monthly Archives: June 2013

Here is another RW that you might be interested in from Elena’s Models. Her name is Svetlana and she’s a 20 year old student from Kiev, Ukraine:

Svetlana has beautiful eyes, but that isn’t the most amazing thing about her. She writes in her profile:

I want to meet a man for a marriage. I want to create a relationship based on honesty, kindness, attention, trust, love and tenderness. The most important thing in my life are a family, children and parents. If you want to get to know more, e-mail me!

She’s only 20 years old and thinking about marriage already! This is the quality about RW that blow American women out of competition. RW are very marriage oriented and seek stable and trustworthy men at an early age. American women simply don’t have marriage as a priority and certainly won’t admit it in their profile on Match or eHarmony. If you’re a marriage-minded man you should really consider Russia or other countries in the former Soviet Union for their women. And if you think Svetlana is an unusual case of a RW seeking marriages so early in life, then stop by Elena’s Models and see for yourself how many RW have the same dreams as Svetlana!

So the idea of having a beautiful woman on your arm to grow old with has enticed you enough to visit an international dating site and start writing to women from Russia or other countries of the former Soviet Union. You’re off to a good start and your response rate has been better than you can possibly hope for on Match or eHarmony. You’re exchanging pictures, hopes and dreams. You’re also convinced that you are talking to a real woman. Maybe you’ve even had some live video chats on Skype. She’s real for sure. She even likes you. You can’t believe your luck.

Then she stops writing to you and refuses all future inquires from you.

“What happened? We were getting along so well!”

Answer: She didn’t think you were serious. You’re a keyboard romeo.

Keyboard romeos are what Russian women (RW) call foreigners that write and write and write, but never visit. Any RW who has any value on the dating market has already encountered hundreds of men like this, or if she’s just started to step into the international dating market, she’s definitely heard about such men.

You see, Russia has internet service also, but they are often charged by the minute. The concept of flat rates hasn’t reached them yet for some reason. So you’re not just wasting their time, you’re wasting their money. Making contact and writing letters is the easy part in this pursuit. But you must commit to visiting a RW within a reasonable time frame; no excuses. RW share all sorts of stories about men who write sweet and loving letters, but when it comes time to plan a visit to her home country, something always comes up. It could be work schedules, family emergencies, etc. It doesn’t matter. Don’t be one of those men.

How do you know if you’re a keyboard romeo? Easy. You haven’t gotten on the plane yet. That’s how you know. It doesn’t matter if you have good intentions. All women respect a man of action and RW are no different in this regard. In fact, their culture is more of a patriarchy than in the west where men are expected to lead and make decisions. Delaying or procrastinating your visit, and your Russian sweetheart doesn’t see you as a real man who can follow through and goes after what he wants.

That’s why the RW you felt you had such good chemistry with stopped writing. She doesn’t see you as a real man. Does it upset you? It should. Now get on that plane and prove her wrong!

Krystyna has a unique blog that is relevant to the international, mail order bride (MOB) scene and has interesting perspectives on international relationships and marriages. She’s actively maintained and updated her blog for the past two years so there is much content on a wide range of topics that include marriage agencies, customs and even insight into the hearts and minds of Ukrainian women.

I’m often skeptical when it comes to women offering dating advice. In my experiences in the USA, women’s advice about dating women has never been helpful to me, and often flat-out wrong. But when it comes to international relationships, knowledge of Ukrainian culture and customs is critical and could prevent a man from making some silly and costly mistakes.

So before you make your first trip (or next trip), head over to UkrainianDatingBlog.com and browse around. You can find the link on my blog roll.

It’s no big secret that physical attraction are what motivates a man to pursue a woman, at least initially. If you don’t believe me, take this survey:

Which of these two women is more attractive?

The second girl is more attractive in my opinion. How about you guys?

Guess which of the women is from Russia?

You probably selected the same picture. Russia has fast become the place where supermodels are born according to elites in the fashion industry. One of the primary reasons is the difference in obesity rates between Russia and the USA and the differences in perceptions of people with excess weight.

The funny thing is I wasn’t trying to make the survey a blowout between those two women in the pictures. It was difficult to find pictures of two women with similar attractiveness but simply one of them being a little overweight, even with a search engine. Type in “fat women” or “overweight women” into Google and you’ll get pictures of beached land whales that need to be placed on a flatbed trailer in order to be driven anywhere. Ironically, the one I settled on as an example of an overweight woman was a picture being sent around Facebook asking members to click “like” it if they think she’s beautiful! Huh? She isn’t even wearing any makeup!

Next I try entering “skinny women” or “thin women” into Google and the pictures it pulled up were anorexic women that would be a great stand-in as a holocaust victim for the next World War II movie. To get a decently looking woman of a normal weight range I had to enter into Google “Russian women“. Even then, it wasn’t easy. There were too many supermodel pictures and studio produced pictures to sort through before I can find one that wouldn’t have put the fat American woman (AW) to shame.

Many of you reading this might think that I failed and that it is still a blow out between those two girls and that I manipulated the survey by selecting a RW to compete against the AW I chose. That’s the point!

I didn’t want to spend so much time looking for just the right pictures, but my brief search convinced me that we in the US have a screwed up perspective about weight ranges that are considered attractive, or even healthy. Why is it that when we discuss thin women, we start thinking about anorexics, and that we don’t consider someone truly fat unless they can’t fit through a door or can’t get around town without a scooter? Everyone else is considered to be within a normal weight range? It might be the average American but it isn’t normal!

Health authorities define an obese person as having a body mass index (BMI) of 30 or more. That means for the average woman (height=5’4″), she needs to weigh only 175 lbs to be considered obese. I’ve met several women, like the one in the picture, who weigh much more than that who would put on their dating profile that they are “a few extra pounds” but she’s not. She’s fat! That AW is obese along with about 35% of her sisters in this country according to a CDC report. If that isn’t bad enough news for a man’s dating prospects in this country, the same report is that the percentage goes up as AW get older to about 42% when they get to their 60’s. So a man might get lucky to marry a woman in a normal weight range in this country only to find her ballooning up as she ages. A man might be lucky to marry such a woman, period. Despite the male/female ratio being about equal in this country, a 35+% obesity rating creates a scarcity of desirable partners for a man. So competition for the thinner girls go up and the women take full advantage of this by raising their standards to absurd levels.

The normal BMI range is 18.5-24.9. This means that the average woman can weigh no more than 145 lbs to be at her most attractive and healthy weight. To be frank it’s difficult to find a RW that weighs even that much. Most of the profiles I see, and the RW I’ve met weigh in about 110-120 lbs or so. Some even go as high as about 130 lbs but they are usually quite tall or exercise regularly enough to build some good muscle tone (note: muscle adds weight without adding much volume). I would have to look long and hard to find a young woman that weighs 145 lbs in Russia.

It’s not just the fact that a man can encircle a woman in his arms and easily carry her over the threshold if she has a normal BMI. Clothes actually fit better and she can wear more sexy fashions if she’s in the right weight range. That’s a fact that RW can exploit to the fullest, much to the benefit of us men 😉

What about the men? There’s fat men everywhere in the US? Who are they to demand a woman keep her weight under control?

Good questions:

First, men are more attracted physically to women than women are to men. I know feminism may scoff at that statement, but a multibillion dollar fashion industry catered to women supports this claim.

Second, insisting that a partner is within a healthy weight range is not bad advice. There’s health issues to consider and those habits of eating and exercise that she is likely to pass on to her children.

Third, a thin woman will likely be happier in her marriage if a study from the University of Tennessee is to be believed. The study (conducted by a woman!) assessed couple’s marital satisfaction over four years and concluded that the women in those relationships were happier if their BMI was lower than her husband’s. This isn’t to say that a woman needed to be at the normal, healthy BMI; simply that her BMI must be lower than her husband’s. Buuuttt, if you’re a man of means, why not go for the best BMI in your partner that you can… Why not look in Russia!

If you decide to seek a wife in the former Soviet Union (FSU), you might be interested in somebody like Maria:

Maria is a 28 year old journalist that lives in Odessa, Ukraine. She speaks fluent English, Russian and Ukrainian. She has a unique perspective on love. In her profile she writes,

Love is something eternal and something temporary, to love someone for a lifetime you need to meet someone special who is not static, who’s moving, adventurous, changing and ready to challenge. It’s a caleidoscope [sic] of two characters, interests, personalities, dreams, experiences. There is no love where guarantees are, love is a flower, should not be dissected like a frog in biology classroom. NO masks, no games, pure you, pure me.

Maria is actively looking for a man and you can write to her right now and get to know her better. Or browse the online catalog at Elena’s Models for another RW you can connect with.

So why on Earth would a man want to marry a Russian Woman (RW) while there are so many good American Women (AW) to choose from?…Would be the most common question a man would hear when declaring that he’s looking to marry an RW.

Most people would ask that question thinking of somebody like Tracy McMillan.

Tracy wrote an interesting article for the Huffington Post entitled Why You’re Not Married. In the article she uses a clever mix of humor and hyperbole for her reasons why women that want to find Mr Right have yet to succeed:

You’re a bitch

You’re shallow

You’re a slut

You’re a liar

You’re selfish

You’re not good enough

If you think that this advice was well received by her female readers, then you haven’t been on the internet that long.

Tracy, is a woman that most men would be considered a rare find. She knows what guys like in women and is willing to use her gifts as a writer to help other women improve themselves so that a good man would be interested in her. Her suggestions would be effective because they are something another woman would have control over and the power to change. Tracy, lives an introspective life and is all the wiser for it. But her article drew heavy criticism from many women, many who claim they don’t even want to get married. Frankly, none of the criticism makes any sense. The six points Tracy made in the article could be interpreted as advice on how to be a decent human being so that other people (man or woman) will like you. So what the hell are they arguing about?

Unfortunately, AW like Tracy are rare. An AW that could have used her advice is Alyssa Bereznak.

As an intern writing for Gizmodo, she registers for the dating site OkCupid after coming home drunk from a late night of partying, makes contact with a guy through the site, goes out with him (twice) and publicly bashes him, even calling him out by name, on Gizmodo.

I know what you’re thinking. Another creepy internet dating horror story. No. You know what Alyssa’s only beef about him was? He plays the card game Magic: The Gathering and he didn’t declare it in his online profile! He apparently plays it very well. He makes money at it and is a world champion, but that wasn’t enough for this entitlement princess. She requires the very best like a hedge fund manager (which he was!). Wow! A hedge fund manager and she still slammed him? He must look like a troll? Again, no. This is what he looks like:

If a guy that looks like this can’t score a mediocre date on OkCupid with a blond trainwreck without getting chastised publicly, what chance do the rest of us have? Dating is much better in Russia.

Our next diva that should have followed Tracy’s advice is Rebbecca Watson:

If you were standing alone with a RW in a hotel elevator and asked her to your room for drinks and conversation, she might turn you down (hopefully not 😉 ). You would then return to your separate rooms for the night and that would be the end of it.

Only if you propositioned a woman like Rebecca Watson would you be reminded and shamed of the incident for almost two years now (probably longer). You’d think that the man who offended Rebecca had grabbed her ass or grinded against her on the dance floor. But the mundane incident happened as I described it: He asked her to his room while in an elevator with her, she said no and that was it.

Unfortunately for the man in question, Rebecca is a vocal pseudo-intellectual feminist that’s trying to make a name for herself in the atheist and skeptics organizations that she circulates by blaming the apparent lack of women in atheist and skeptic circles as sexist, and threw the match on the tinderbox that is the internet. She posted a videoblog describing the incident and instructed guys who might be watching to “never do this” because it made her feel creepy to occupy the same hotel elevator with such a man at a relatively safe venue of an atheist and skeptics conference.

Never do what? Ask out a girl for drinks and conversation? Are you serious?

Of course people responded that Rebecca was over-reacting and she responded by slamming one of her critics at a keynote speech at another conference. Rebecca was once again criticized that that was in bad taste and Rebecca lashes out once again. The flames spill out over the internet on the blogosphere and grows to epic proportions. Some prominent skeptics such as PZ Myers, Phil Plait et al side with Rebecca. Maybe they were hoping that playing the white knight card would get them laid. Or maybe they were just helping. In any case they made the situation worse by giving Rebecca the green light to shoot her mouth off about every random topic that came into her head and blame it on a “sexist patriarchy with white privilege” in the skeptical and atheist community. Now she could say anything without any worry of being sanctioned.

I follow the skeptic community often and have much respect for some of their big thinkers. With any luck they may eventually recognize that their own actions leading to “elevatorgate” were a self-punishing sin by giving this spoiled brat with barely an education (which is helpful to skeptics) a forum to inflate her own perceived self-importance. The best thing they could do is show Rebecca the door.

All three of these AW broke onto the scene in about the same year, and the shocking thing about it is if it were a beauty contest, Tracy would win on looks alone. That’s how most men would vote. Then once all three opened their mouths, it would be Tracy winning by light years. And yet, Tracy has some humility and is willing to give practical advice. Rebecca and Alyssa have turned rejection and criticism of men into a spectator sport worthy of a Roman colosseum. How do they get dates with attitudes like this?

Does this clear up why I want to go to Russia and find a RW? Go to Russia and see how well RW put their best foot forward in terms of looks and attitude. If you ever asked a RW to your place for drinks and conversation, she may turn you down if she doesn’t know you well enough, but she would consider the advance a compliment. She wouldn’t rant about it on the internet and try and control the men that would dare proposition her. There are some gold diggers in Russia but most RW are happy that their man makes enough money to support a family. They wouldn’t care if he had a geeky hobby like being a champion at Magic: The Gathering.

By far the most shocking thing is that Alyssa and Rebecca smugly think they are in the right and have some wisdom to bestow on the rest of us uncivilized men. They need Tracy’s advice badly, but they wouldn’t take. Even some women recognize bad behavior when they see it and have called them out on it, but they do the written equivalent of putting their fingers in their ears and humming la-la-la-la!

The American woman who I married was not the first woman I fell in love with, nor the first girl I ever had sex with. Those might be stories for another post.

She was my college sweetheart. We lived in a coed dormitory on the same floor and didn’t immediately connect. I found her to be a bit of a plain Jane and she found me to be obnoxious so there wasn’t a lot of initial chemistry. I was never too successful with women in my younger years. I had no game and my looks weren’t helping me much. I had no status and never owned my own car in high school. I wouldn’t realize until later that these were critical times in my development in how I would relate to women. Unfortunately, I had no role models to show me how it was done nor did I have any solid or usable advice. The internet didn’t exist yet so I had no idea about game or pick-up artists. I was indoctrinated by main stream media that preached that I should be nice, be myself and treat women like equals. It obviously ended in disaster. I made more (girl) friends than girlfriends. Many men will know what that’s like: being so sexually attracted to a girl that you are willing to do anything in the hope to be her boyfriend while realizing that you could pluck a feather from a griffin before you even get a full lip kiss from her. She was willing to kiss and even have sex with other boys, just not with you. For a boy that’s having a sexual awakening from the concoction of hormones surging through his veins, this was hell on Earth!

But some time between those dark ages of high school and when I met my first wife as a senior in college, I at least learned to manage my expectations and realize that whatever relationships I did have with women often started slowly without a lot of initial chemistry, but grew into something meaningful. I also learned that the more sexually attracted I was to a woman, the least likely I was going to be with her in any romantic sense. So that ruled out women that ranked and 8 – 10 on the looks scale for sure; perhaps even 6’s and 7’s. So despite no initial attraction between me and my plain Jane, we had enough contact with each other that things progressed romantically over a couple of semesters. I graduated and started working while she finished her degree. When she graduated, we married in a small, humble outdoor wedding with close family and friends.

Many people will say that we fell in love with each other because we took things slow and didn’t try so hard. We allowed things to happen spontaneously. I wanted to believe that but it was nonsense. Only woman believe that garbage! According the women, romance and love is spontaneous. It only appears that way because she is being pursued. The romantic interest is incoming. So it doesn’t matter if she meets a guy at church, a nightclub or a train station. It will always appear spontaneous or preordained. You know why? Because her male love interest is doing all the heavy lifting! I’m sure you here all the clichés about men going back to seed after he marries. It’s because he’s tired! He’s chased a woman for a very long time. The more attractive and hotter she is, the more he had to chase. It’s exhausting.

The fact that remained was that both of us had a similar value on the dating market and knew on some level that we couldn’t obtain better and we certainly didn’t want to do worse. Generally speaking, on the looks scale, 10’s end up with other 10’s, 5’s with 5’s and 2’s with 2’s. This doesn’t mean that we weren’t in love at the time. We were. She was very kind to me, genuinely appreciative of what I did, and she was a virgin when we met. So I never felt judged by her and I felt like I was somebody special. This was a very sharp contrast to the dating culture I experienced up until this point. So if you are a woman reading this and want to know how you can attract a good man to marry you before he decides to try his luck overseas or tries being an asshole, simply be nice to him. Men get treated like shit on the dating market while they watch callous jerks get more tail than they can handle. Being nice will take his breath away and he’ll respect you for it. Such an attitude from a woman compelled me to overlook her plain features and few extra pounds and be seduced by her good and generous nature.

My first wife and I were idealistic in our love and thought that it would overcome all odds. It didn’t. Love isn’t enough because with nothing to sustain it, you will fall out of love. I had issues with her over time. I never expected a maid, but she was terrible with housework and was a slob. I was interested in having kids but she changed her mind. She stopped having sex and was gaining weight. We discovered that we had different goals and philosophies in life and when we made an effort to reconcile them, it would make one of us unhappy. We endured this aggravation for the better part of five and a half years until I realized that we would probably be our happiest with different people and we should divorce now before we become bitter with each other. I filed for divorce under irreconcilable differences and had a drama-free divorce process.

I learned a lot from my first marriage and I think I’m in a good mental state to give another marriage a try, this time to a woman from the former Soviet Union (FSU). I wasn’t perfect in my marriage. I did a lot of soul-searching to discover what I could have done differently. Men who start this journey–and it is a very long journey– should really do some soul-searching before they decide to go any further. I wrote about my issues with my first wife but my marriage’s failure was still my fault. I was the man, I should have done things differently, I should have made better decisions. If you are a divorced man thinking of finding a wife in the FSU you need to realize something: It was your fault. I don’t care if you married the biggest bitch on the planet. You decided to marry her! Why? She never cared about what was important to you? It’s still your fault! She cheated on you with a goat farmer? Your fault! I’m not trying to be cruel, you need this emotional catharsis. I’ve been to the FSU several times with many high hopes and dreams and had many disappointments. I learned enough so far to know that you won’t be successful in your search for a FSU bride without getting your head straight and knowing exactly what went wrong in your previous relationships.