33 comments:

When I'm on a date this tedious I like to follow Howies lead and duck off to the bathroom, check that the toilet paper is one ply and use that as an excuse to finger my ass. I usually like to yell "Number 3! Number 3!" for cover if its taking me a while to get off.Thanks Howie.

The more I read these stories the more I wonder how the hell these crazy assbutt people get dates. Even my drug addled high scool drop out of an alldaylong warcraft playing brother has a girlfriend! I mean, I'm no hot shot lady lawyer but I'm pretty okay damn it.

If you're not a hot shot lady lawyer such as myself, you're not okay. You're probably some kind of blue collar worker like an architect who doesn't know legalese like me. The dumbest girl in my sorority became an architect after she failed out of dental school.

My fiancé, Art Vandelay, skipped the fifth and sixth grades. Unlike this lying bitch, he did so because he caught polio like FDR. Art calls me his Eleanor because he bangs his transsexual secretary and I have a secret lesbian relationship with my "friend" Blue Blue. Perfect Relationship!

The preponderance of evidence suggests that after escaping a human trafficking ring of tranny hookers enslaved for the whims of architects, ze joined witness relocation program. Blue's knowledge of this international cartel extended to a century old brethren of assassins, El Vez, recruited from the top ranks of celebrity in an even-grimmer-version of Scientology, making it too dangerous for hir to merely alter name and identity; it had to be removed entirely. But to navigate this essentially extra-legal state ze had to call upon the acumen of a formidable lady lawyer. Alas, said attorney was busy holding hands with a while being fingered mid-dump. Alone and frightened, Blue retreats to the virtual realm, finding solace only on a blog that delivers a window into humans still free to interface freely. A fellow devotee pieces together clues about bananas for dinner and college linguistics to suspect hir of proximity to El Vez. Determined to expose Blue's involvement if true, Shoe also offers protection if ze is in danger hirself.

Oh, and my fiancé Art Vandelay only dabbles in architecture. He's also a marine biologist and latex salesman. I made him give up architecture when he met me because it's blue collar and I do not associate with working class morons. So no "The Architect", my relationship is still perfect!!!!!!!!

P.S. - I'm starting to get a lady boner for Shoe and Fizziks. They're both probably terribly blue collar but I sometimes like to slum it when Art is visiting his tranny hookers and my lovah Blue Blue has her mensies....'Cause Blue Blue is a lady!!!!!

Devil, you didn't smoke me out because you still don't know what gender I am. You could be wrong or right about my gender. And Steve, you could be right or wrong about my gender too. Steve do you need to know my age and where I am from? Fizziks what are you talking about?

No groaning here Fiz. That was awesome. And Kez I know your pain. Men trending toward not quite sane women and women trending towards men they can fix and of course architects. So the nice ones like us well Ima try not to be bitter. And maybe blue is a trans person who was born one gender and lives hir life as the other gender. Just putting it out there.

Kitty Rose, you feel that way? what were to happen if you discovered all your findings about each of my post were completely and utterly wrong? Do not say you know something more about me. Cause you don't know my gender nor my ethnicity. and Fly, I might have a little head on my downstairs (not saying I do or don't)

You guys have it all wrong. Blue Blue is actually both genders until observed, at which point Blue Blue collapses into just one gender. This would also mean Blue Blue's assertion of being straight is technically impossible, as the gender preference would depend on which gender results from the act of observing, meaning the actual entity is bisexual.

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