Green Room

Marines in Afghanistan Prohibited from Passing Gas

Call it “don’t fart, don’t tell.” The rule is not mentioned in the Uniform Code of Military Justice, but a report out of Afghanistan suggests that Marines there have been told not to break wind, at least not audibly, around the indigenous peoples for fear of offending them.

As The Blaze notes, the Military Times was first to document the flatulence restriction in its “Battle rAttle” section. So what else is taboo for our brave men (and, one supposes, women) in uniform?

They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).

Anything else we can do to make the Aghans’ life better in between fighting their battles against the Taliban, the murderous group that has ravaged much of their nation since the mid-1990s?