Simply Be Real: A Very Marilyn Moment

I think we’ve all had at least one “Marilyn moment”. When you live in blustery Edinburgh, it tends to happen on a weekly basis, but there’s one in particular that sticks in my mind. It didn’t involve a subway grate and a white halterneck, but I’m pretty sure I could’ve given Ms Monroe a run for her money. Plus, the very talented Erica Sharp has immortalised my embarrassment in beautiful illustrated form, as part of the #SimplyBeReal campaign.

Picture the scene: an unseasonably balmy May evening, a table at Pizza Express with my name on it (I did warn you about the lack of Hollywood glamour, didn’t I?). I donned my favourite black skater dress – a little Warehouse number with a pleated skirt and a flash of jade green – and a slick of red lipstick, deciding to forgo a jacket due to the early summer sunshine. I skipped down the stairs and out onto the street, and almost immediately I realised my mistake. Sunshine doesn’t mean anything when it’s also blowing a gale. A warm breeze whipped round my ankles, dishevelled my hair and, of course, blew my skirt up around my waist. Desperately trying to hold down the pleated skirt of my dress, I slunk round the corner to the bus stop as quickly as I could. Unfortunately for me, the next bus wasn’t due for another 5 minutes and unfortunately for the rest of the bus stop queue, the clientele of the chip shop opposite, and all the post-rush hour passers-by this meant 5 minutes of me hopping around and flashing my pants to all and sundry. I tried gracefully holding down my dress with my arms by my sides, Marilyn stylee. I tried wrapping my dress tightly around my legs in a strange makeshift bodycon defence against the weather. I tried sitting on the bus shelter seat, bag firmly on lap, but even that didn’t help. I’ve never been so glad to see a number 11 bus in my entire life.

And the point of this cautionary tale? Fashion is usually a disaster. I’m sure you all have your own Marilyn moment. Or a ketchup stain on clean blouse moment. Or a toilet roll stuck to new stiletto heels moment. Or a laddering your tights as you jump in the taxi moment. But it’s fine, we’re all in this together. None of us are perfect, and you can bet your bottom dollar there’s a whole SD card filled up with outtakes from any “outfit of the day” blog post you read. These silly little mishaps just make it all the sweeter when you get it right. You know, the looking like an absolute babe whilst secretly wearing Bridget Jones pants moments? Those. Simply Be are celebrating all these real moments with their #SimplyBeReal campaign and have been matching up bloggers with talented illustrators to bring these moments to life. I’m in love with Erica’s illustration and I’d like to think I looked half as glamorous as that during my real life Marilyn moment! You can check out the other ladies over on the #SimplyBeReal page.