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Chapter 3 – Things fall apart

Layha was going through a whirlwind of emotions. The why and the how could not come to her mind. As she thought about what had happened last night, tears began to roll down her cheeks. Yes, she had the dream home, the fancy car and the untold riches but what happened was unexplainable. How was she to deal with this situation? How was she supposed to move forward? She felt so lonely at that point despite having a lot of friends. She especially felt lonely because her friends always thought she led a perfect life. Maybe she should just forget about it since it only happened once. Maybe she was to be blamed for what happened. Maybe she was not good enough for him. She whispered to her self “not good enough? Look at me I AM good looking, maybe he’s trying to ruin my image so that he can cure his jealousy.”

“Hello mummy it’s me Layha.” Tears gushing down as she began to sob.

“Bethi calm down and talk to me” her mother tried to console her.
“Mummy he hit me…. I don’t know what or why he came home late last night and I asked him why so late. That’s all. He went on screaming and yelling so I told him maybe if he was home more we could have children because all he does is work late, come home odd hours and sleep. Mummy he looked at me with so much hate and so much rage. He told me he took me from a middle class home to live like a queen in his house and now I have the nerve to question him about his going and coming, who the f#*k did I think I was. I told him I’m his wife and when we got married he was working in car sales and together we sacrificed life and saved so he could open up something and make his own money. That when he looked at me and slapped me saying “you want gratitude from me, you did nothing. You are no one I made this myself.” Mummy he continued to hit me as I fell to the floor he started kicking me calling me all despicable names. Mummy how could he?”

“Bethi, he provides well for you. Every function you never have to wear the same dress over. You have a cook and a maid. He has provided you so well that you don’t have to do anything except look good for him. Bethi what he did was in anger, forgive and forget and go do something nice for him to show him how much you appreciate him. Marriage is not easy but you have to remember that he is the man of the house, his coming and going should not be your issue. Don’t go opening a box that you don’t want to know what’s inside. All man have extra hobbies outside of home, only a few don’t so don’t mention the hitting again to anyone. Aslam is well known in the community and should be respected so don’t go be a spoilt brat and mention this to anyone. Remember that you caused this, you only have yourself to blame.Have I taught you nothing my child? I’ve told you a thousand times, spend his money, dress up for him and let him do as he pleases. Tomorrow if you leave where will you go to? You are so used to the lifestyle you have now that nobody will take in a spoilt brat. Tonight let the cook take the evening off, prepare something yourself for your husband and be quiet about this whole thing. In any case what does that cook know about Indian food? Maybe your husband just misses good home cooking. I’ll send you some easy recipes that even you can’t flop. Ok my child. I have to go now, daddy’s up for breakfast.”

With the phone still in her hand, Layha sat there in disbelief, shocked about what her mother had just said to her, wondering what’s wrong with her mother. That was the worse advise any mother could give a child. She was now more confused as ever. Her world was turned upside down, about to crumble and fall apart. The question is was she about to let that happen? Was she supposed to just look pretty and bow down to this man and never know anything about his life just so that she can have her every materialistic desire? Surrounded with so many possessions she felt as if the world was now an empty black hole. This was the start to her addiction of hell.

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14 thoughts on “Chapter 3 – Things fall apart”

Parents don’t know what they are talking about, except when talking about their own lives and expectations. They don’t understand YOU at all, even though you’re of their flesh and blood. If the photo is you, you are incredibly beautiful, and you should find the man who will appreciated you, even if he doesn’t provide as well as the violent pig you have now. You can do with a lot less possessions when you are happy and your spouse is happy. Don’t stay with the asshole, because he will do more violence against you and maybe the children. Get out NOW, before beatings become habits. You are very, very beautiful and intelligent. Dump the jerk and liberate yourself to find a deserving lover. You write well enough to do it professionally. Consider becoming an advertising copywriter. You might start making a better living than he makes, so go for it and save your lovely face and children.

Not sure if my last reply came about. Typing from a cellphone.
This blog is not me or my stories but it is about real people who went through it. In south africa the indian community is a closed minded one and that the reson for this story of how simple things lead to bigger issues. Do apologize for my phone today but thank you for taking your time to reply and read means that my story and what those who sahred thier stories with me is not in vain

Also felt that some thing needed to be done that at the end when this lady gets saved people who are being abused know there is always a happy ending if they willing to take the biggest step in life in order to live

Unfortunately this is the situation in many communities! Women need to rise up,stand up against abuse no matter what they may be sacrificing. It’s really sad when a parent says just take the abuse, just to save someone else’s face!

Wow, I am a mother of 2 daughters, one married n one still at home but I will rather die than advise my daughters like that, she is basically asking her daughter to live like a “legal” prostitute n this mentality of just accepting anything from husbands sickens me.

Slmz. This is the reality of our society n community. Unfortunately. A woman can only better herself for herself. A lesson I learnt. Abuse, adultery etc is common n no woman needs to accept that by sacrificing herself worth. I am a mum of 5 (3 daughters) n this is what I teach them. Been in this situation myself n having my kids witness to it . Alhamdulillah I now use my life skills n coaching to assist other woman. Its sad how many woman are still stuck in there beliefs. Well done to an awesome blog.

There’s always two sides to story – a personal experience – about 5 years ago i married my high school sweetheart who i loved more than i loved myself or anyone else for that matter – in the 15months that i was married to her – i raised my hand once after telling her 3 times on different occasions that she should not raise her hand while fighting / arguing as it will come back to bite her someday. On the third occasion is when i retaliated by slapping her back (im not proud of this as it still haunts me 5 years later) – the point im making is that both male and female should learn to control their tongues – which is the first step – if you can control your tongue – you will be able to control your temper and by this it would not become a physical confrontation. With that said – we should keep this in mind and heart at all times – that the marriage we are in is a bond made infront of Allah between man and wife, thus forcing us to respect the command of Allah and inevitably respecting one another.

To the blogger – this is awesome read from a person who hates reading – you have got me glued to this & im pretty sure that it is because i can relate to story