Monday, December 08, 2008

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd how way ya'lls Sunday??? Hmmmm?? Any Homeless infiltrating the Public Library?? Any Pimps?? An Accident? No? PWASH! and you guys call yourselves bloggers! Shall I tell you about my Sunday?? Okay!

It all started on a dark and stormy night....BWAHAHAHA just kidding. It all started relatively innocent. Wanted to take ma gurls to the library so we could stock up on books. We got all dressed, perfumed, the girls fought over shotgun. It was a day like any other. Then we got to the library. When it is cold outside the total homeless population of Dayton goes in the library to keep warm. There was a crowd at the door waiting out the 20 minutes til opening. As one of the guys we will call Red Ski Mask Man was licking his chops checking out my 16 year old I decided that the safest thing to do would be to go back and wait in the van. I didn't want to have to use my Seriously Powerful Ninja Moves on him so we sat in the van, doors locked, and decided to people watch. First up were The Barely Dressed Even Though It's Wicked Cold Out Girls. They were soon joined by Man Who Could Be Their Pimp. How do we know this?? Well I was talking to the 16 year old about how he walked up to them and asked ever so sweetly "Where the h#$% you bin!!" The 16 year old says "Maybe he's their pimp." This is when The Boo Bear piped up and said "But he doesn't have a cane and he's not wearing purple." My girls? Totally take after me. I am so proud.

Finally the library opened. We got a tote bag full of books and headed out to get our read on at Starbucks. A cold Sunday always calls for partaking of a caramel macchiato while reading free books.

We hit the highway with visions of coffee dancing in our heads. I turn left at our green light and things took a decided turn......not for the better. A lady ran a red light and plowed right into us. She hit the passenger side door (where our Boo Bear was sitting) then she slid and almost took off the front bumper. We all sat for a minute to get our bearing and then I pulled over. This is when the cop pulled up as he was right behind us. He saw the whole thing. I got out of the van to inspect the damage and he ran over to me to see if anyone needed any help. I asked him if he had a Xanex. He realised I was okay and went back to where his partner was talking to the lady in the red car. Come to find out it isn't the lady's car....she has no drivers license on her and no proof of insurance in the car....AND she tried to blame me! The cops got a kick out of that one and told her, again, that they were right behind us and saw the whole thing. I was given a case number and told I could go and get my Starbucks now and they were very sorry that they were unable to give me any drugs.

This?? This is why my husband should not leave me to my own devices people!! Remember last summer when he had to go away and I ran over the little ole' Ajimah???? Even though neither accident was my fault I still think he should stay here at all times so we could be better safe then sorry.

You sure get yourself into scrapes! Literally! LOL! I hope no library books were harmed in the making of this blogable day! At least you didn't have any coffee yet to spill! Is everyone okay? Usually the aches and pains are much worse a couple days after an accident. (Oh, and have you considered the lady may have been trying to out race her pimp?!)

Looks like you forgot the rules of driving there. Ladies in borrowed red cars with no driver's license or insurance have the right of way, no matter what the traffic signals say. Rules apparently don't apply to them.