4st 7lb

"I eat too much to live and not enough to stay alive.
I'm just sitting in the middle, waiting."

Days since I last pissed ·
cheeks sunken and despaired ·
so gorgeous sunk to six stone ·
lose my only remaining home ·
see my third rib appear ·
a week later all my flesh disappear ·
stretching taut, cling-film on bone ·
I'm getting better ·

I wanna be so skinny that I rot from view ·
I want to walk in the snow ·
and not leave a footprint ·
I want to walk in the snow ·
and not soil its purity ·

stomach collapsed at five ·
lift up my skirt my sex is gone ·
naked and lovely and 5st. 2 ·
may I bud and never flower ·
my vision's getting blurred ·
but I can see my rib's and I feel fine ·
my hands are trembling stalks ·
and I can feel my breasts are sinking ·
mother tries to choke me with roast beef ·
and sits savouring her sole Ryvitta ·
that's the way your built my father said ·
but I can change, my cocoon shedding ·

I want to walk in the snow ·
and not leave a footprint ·
I want to walk in the snow ·
and not soil its purity ·

Kate and Kristin and Kit Kat ·
all things I like looking at ·
too weak to fuss, too weak to die ·
choice is skeletal in everybody's life ·

I choose, my choice, I starve to frenzy ·
hunger soon passes and sickness soon tires ·
legs bend, stockinged I am Twiggy ·
and I don't mind the horror that surrounds me ·
self-worth scatters, self esteem's a bore ·
I long since moved to a higher plateau ·
this discipline's so rare so please applaud ·
just look at the fat scum who pamper me so ·