Thursday, January 18, 2007

I love to smell my baby. I love to smell her baby-breath, her "bad" breath, her after-bath J&J shampoo smell, even her morning wake-up "awful" breath. The only smell I don't like of course is her "change my diaper now" smell. With my other two "grown" kids ... 6 and 9... the smell-factor is no longer the same. I mean their bad breath in the morning, for example, is not something I enjoy anymore.

So, what is it about little babies that make them smell SOOOO good? Why is it that I find myself taking deep whiffs with my little girl's face next to mine? SubhanAllah, Allah plants the love of these children right from the bat. In their BIG cheeks, in their cuddling, in their smiles, in their laughter, in their little fingers holding your thumb, in their super-fast crawling motions, and their stumbling all over the place. Those moments are so special, that when these little babies, who added so much to your work, and took away from your sleep, when they grow up... you miss it, you want it all over again! Of course fathers can't really compete with the mothers. Ever wonder why the mother wakes up to the crying sounds of the baby only to plant a big kiss on her, not that she didn't just wake her up for the tenth time in the night. And God forbid, if I wake up my wife one time in the night, I probably will be hearing about it for many days! (wife: if you read this, I am just kidding!). Well, lets not go into the mother-child lovey dovey stuff... let's stick to this fatherly instincts. Yes, REAL fathers also love their children... REAL fathers especially love their little girls... and REAL fathers usually love to smell their children. Did you know that the Prophet (S) used to smell and kiss Hussein (RD), his grand-child?

Forget about the Eternity for Men perfume, can't I bottle up that baby-smell and take it with me to work??? Any inventors out there???

Well, there is something special indeed about odors. Here is a nice article from Islamonline. Allah has indeed made our noses and our sense of smell quite a forensic tool! Interestingly, mothers find their own kid's poop less revolting than other kid's, no kidding, see for yourself here. And babies too can locate their food-source with their smell, read here.

13 comments:

ummhaarith
said...

salams alhamdullilah i have one of those husbands that loves hanging out with the kids playing soccer or just taking them to the masjid shootin the breeze. i adore watching him kiss the baby's fat little toes or him laughing because she did something notty like pull his beard then smiled. I admire dads like this because i see children who are not fortunate to have a father at all, or if they do, their dad is so self involved that he neglects them. if men only knew the role that they play in their kids life im sure more of them would be involved. alhamdullilah my kids (sons and daughter) love to go to the masjid with their father, and inshallah i hope they stay that way.

Assalamu'alaikumVery nice when a father is very compassionate caring person likes very much to smell his babies but how come we can hardly find many Muslim fathers out there to help baby sit while the mothers go out to attend some religious Halaqas or learn Qur’an and Sunnah so that they be able to pass on some Islamic tarbeeyah and train her children properly?

And mothers said they cannot go to Halaqa, I have my kids to look after and many other excuses about her kids or her husband is busy watching sports or just hanging out with the brothers.

The children are in need of education and knowledge too and they need to know how to spend their time in useful things. The Prophet, blessings and peace be upon him, said,

“Whoever teaches a child, the reward is equivalent to giving in charity.”

How will a mother be able to teach her children which hand to use when eating and what du’aa to say and as well as other basic etiquette in Islam? They don’t know it themselves. Most Muslim mothers I have noticed, failed to encourage youngsters to join the prayer line by kept on saying they were not at the age of praying yet, and they let them stayed on watching silly cartoon on television for hours instead of the pillars of Islam. When her 6 year old child sneezed, she didn’t even know what to say but her mother boasted that she is a very gifted child at school because she can play the flute recorder, read musical notes and selected to join her school band club. Mothers let their girls and boys wearing skimpy clothes of the Kuffar tight jeans, revealing tops and hot pants. Teenagers grew up hating Islamic clothing because they were different from their peer’s Levi hipsters and Tommy Hilfiger’s trash. So strange that, the same phenomenon is also already happening in the so called Muslim countries!!!

I recalled a conversation with a mother recently on the prospect of attending Islamic Halaqas. The fact that I cannot concentrate during the class because there would be so many children of different ages from a few months old to 10, 12 years old running and screaming around or somebody cried, got kicked or hit by some other children or toys snatched. It was so chaotic that it was like a cattle market or something. I said how come their fathers will not consider relieving these mothers for a little quality time of seeking knowledge like 2 hours or something minus one hour getting organized plus travel time, for just once a week? The mother’s answer was that some men think that the women’s job is to always be with her kids. If she is going to attend Halaqas, she has to take them along with her. This is so true and very sad too. It is understandable that some of the mothers just want to show off their beautiful smelling and screaming babies. Most of the time, their presence with their broods upset other sisters who took the time to leaving theirs with the dads or even with paid Muslim baby sitters. Are they not serious in seeking knowledge? Reading the Qur’an? When will she ever learn anything of Islam so she can pass it on to her kids? But when they had official appointments with their Kuffar dentists, doctors, beauty salon or attend their University classes and exams, do they bring their kids along too? It looks like a catch-22 situation: selfish parents ended raising rude plus ignorant children. No wonder our Ummah is weak.

Therefore it would be nice if all fathers also like to baby sit and not just like smelling them when they are nice and clean only.

anonymous: I must say that baby-sitting is the hardest job any man can do. That is why I believe that mothers have nerves of steel to keep up with just one kid, let alone more. I am not excusing men from not doing it, I am just praising how women do it so well. It is just so natural for them that they can multi-task and get stuff done. When I baby-sit for like few hours a week for my wife to go give her halaqa (ok I use my older daughter to babysit quite a lot I must admit, while my wife is gone :)), I find it so incredibly hard.

When kids get older, it is a lot easier. I suggest that dads take their kids to parks, amusement centers, or whatever; this way they dont have to do too much baby-sitting and the moms get a break as well. With infants, its a constant watch, and I like to keep it to just smelling them than watching them :)

great comments everyone...

exex: Well i guess we have to help you solve your problem so u can also have the baby-smell thing worked out!

I'm not a parent... just a child myself... so I dunno if I should even respond to this post. But I want to, so I will! :P

I don't have any kids of my own, obviously, and as a matter of fact I'm actually not that fond of kids in general, not even babies. There are only TWO kids whom I really love, a boy and a girl, both children of my mom's friends. I'm not a touchy-feely kind of person, but I absolutely ADORE holding these two kids and hugging them and, yes, sniffing them! Ibraheem is 2 years old now and is starting to have little patience with me, but Sumayyah is still small enough that she can't really do anything about it, lol.

I think it's funny and cute if guys like doing that too (hugging, sniffing their kids)... my dad doesn't like kids much either (I guess I've inherited it from him, eh?), but he doesn't mind babies, and funnily enough he loves the same babies I do... it's really funny to see him bouncing a little kid on his knee and then yelp in pain when the kid grabs his beard! :P

Insha'Allah my future hubby will be one of those guys who has infinite patience with kids (I don't, unfortunately) and will very happily take over and babysit when I need my space... :D

yeah babies have this awesome smell. i agree. its like takin a whiff of jannah subhanAllah.

some of the comemnts mention how important it is for a dad to spend time with the kids. real quality time. i cannot emphasize how important that is. you wonder why kids tell theirmoms everything(well some kids) and tell the dad nothing. its because the moms always there for them whenever they need them.

ok, heres an ex i just thought of. when a kid scrapes their knee. who do they go to to kiss it and make it all better. who puts some magical ointment on the scratch, wipes away the tears, and covers it with a bandaid. the mom right?

point is, whenever a kid gets hurt, most kids atleast, they run to their mother. or whenever siblings get into a fight, somebody pulled the others hair, or took the others stuff. they yell out for MOOMMMM to come to teh rescue and retrive their stolen belongings...or stolen hair.

i'm sure its not like that with all families. but i've seen it happen like that most of the time. Allahu A'lam.

just wanted to add, itd be good if the dads took teh kids out, especially when they're little for a breath of fresh air, to the park, and actually played sports with them. for two reasons. one, most importantly for the benefit of the kids. so they can be close to their dad and the dad will actually be apart of their life instead of just the moneymaker.(in most situations)

2)to give the mom a break. they need time of from kids, especially the little ones. why do you think they spend so much time cleaning? because, by the time they clean up one room and go to the next. they come back to the first room and it looks like atornado hit...and all you see is an innocent 2 year old staring up at you with the cutest most innocent smile ontheir face.

Assalamu'alaikumAnonyMouse: Do not worry about not being “touchy feeling” kind of person. Everybody is different and no body can force anyone to feel something that is not there, however you will grow to learn “how”. But some grown up old people (grandma like myself) are still not a “touchy feeling” person. So, you are not a stranger.

But then, what right with some who claimed to be “touchy feeling” and yet, mean and rude to others?