We can get so comfortable with our family that we let down our guards to be who we want to be. It’s easier that way. But it’s not always better that way. There is a way that is better, every single time. The number one person you need to protect your spouse from is you.

There are a lot of marriage statistics out there. Stats are great for providing a big picture context. But they can also misrepresent marriages. Because each individual marriage is more than just another number. Every marriage is unique. Every marriage is a story.

Often, I don’t want things for my wife and kids as much as I want things from my wife and kids. And there is a huge difference. If we do chores around the house because we want something for our spouse, that’s different. We’re not doing it because we want to feel validated; we’re doing it because we want something FOR them.

Have you been there before? A fight in public, or maybe in front of family or friends in someone else’s home? We have . . . dozens of times. It makes you feel frustrated and restricted because you can’t completely lose it in front of others even though you feel like you want to pull your hair out and kill your spouse. It can also make the people around you feel very awkward and nervous.