Market Counter

Sunday, October 21, 2012

The Side Effects of Voting Republicrat

I made this list of side effects when I was bored. I added to it so many different times that I had to delete half of them, narrow down to the best and funniest and it still took me over 10 minutes to read them. I had to speed up the video 125% and even faster in some sections, just to keep the video watchable. People generally do not have a very long attention span, so I tried to make this as entertaining as possible. Below I will include a full transcript (I added some extras in the video), but here is about 95% of it:

200 SIDE EFFECTS WHEN VOTING REPUBLICRAT

Acute Amnesia

Dehydration

Hypersensitivity

Stroke

Heart Attack

Migraine

Deja Vu

Getting fooled

Stock market crash

Money printing

Rediculous interest rates on your savings

Not having a savings

$6 a gallon gas

Nanny-State

Playing the kazoo

Accepting debt as enslavement

Leaching off of the system

Your neighbors kicking your ass for voting away their
livelihoods

Fear

Panic

Something to actually ‘panic’ about

Threats

Smoking reefer

Wishing you had reefer

Giving up alcohol due to the incredible tax hike

Needing everything; having nothing

Delusions of grandeur

Playing the violin in the streets because it pays more than minimum wage

Spontaneous growth of nose hair

Cat food cravings

Ability to attain Buddha-hood while bypassing the steps to Nirvana

Inability to breathe

Temporary tooth loss

Permanent money loss

Severe bleeding of the anus

Redundancy

Redundancy

Redundancy

Ignorance

Complete collapse of civilization

Puppy kicking

Did I already mention Redundancy?

Nausea

Learning every blues song on harmonic

Irritability

Short temperament

Hostility

Homicidal impulses

Rapid loss of mental clarity

Amnesia

Kidney failure

Diarrhea

Basing your vote on lies

Weaken or absent critical thinking skills

Realization that the two political parties began as ONE -
Split in 2 - Are now 1 again

Muscle aching and weakness

Tingling or cramping in the legs

Inability to walk due to medicare being slaughtered like a
little lamb

Problems sleeping

Constipation (Because you can’t afford food)

Being Poor

Being Po (can’t afford the other two letters)

Impaired ability to understand logic and reasoning

Shouting at your television and not during a sports game…

Demolishing your t.v. (Shouting wasn’t enough)

Buying a television the day after you broke one because your
wife is nagging

Giving up on hopes and dreams

Death of autonomy and the honest American vote which is our
own fault

Reality checks

Penalties

Bahhh-ing like a sheep

Fines

Getting fleeced

Incompetence

Idiocy

Failure to observe and separate reality from fiction

Blaming everyone but the ones who created this shit-storm

Finger pointing

Misery

Failure

Chronic smoking

Police brutality

Looking like a fool when ‘Your” president does worse stuff
than the guy you bitched about for the last term(s).

Name-calling

More congressional dysfunction if it’s even possible

Increased dysfunction of government programs

Lack of goals and motivation

Nerve damage from watching a rigged election every 4 years

Mental confusion

Trouble buying your b*tch that Louis handbag (Even
Knock-offs)

Sexism

Racism

Hating your own race

Disliking white folks

Decrease in pay

Increase in pay because a $100 bill only gets a gallon of
gas

Loss of wages

I.D.G.A.F. syndrome (I don’t give a f*ck)

Liver damage and abnormalities

Neuropathy

Shortage of mailbox money

Severe “blow-back” from foreign nations

Whimpering

Weeping

Crying

Sobbing

Bitching

Complaining

Blaming rich people for the government stealing your money
through inflation

Whistle-blowing

Occupy welfare movement

Complete loss of faith in government

Civil unrest

Loss of personal liberties

Dollar devaluation

Total destruction of currency

Loss of assets

Foreclosure

Theft

Fraud

Distress

Turmoil

Decay

Erosion of autonomy, rights, freedoms, middle class

Loss of employment incentives and wages

Insufficient job growth

Exponential National Debt Growth

Paper money to the moon

Every tree cut down to make 999 Quadrillion dollars for the
paper-fetish-bankers

Rising commodity prices

Lack of consumer spending

Money vortex

Black-hole-Investments at every bank

Planetary upheaval

Fast-food employing 80% of youth in America

More Pawn Shops than gas stations

Debt…

More debt…

Even more debt…

And even more debt than ever before!

Trillions of virtual dollars

Cow fart tax increase of 50% from the current cow fart tax

Less agriculture

Less productivity

Less job availability

Shitty job availability

Un-payable sums of student loan debt outstanding

People going to college to get free money...Wait that
already started.

Pooping in your pants

Pooping in other people’s pants

Breaking glass

Breaking wind

Relentless, hot, stinky, wind gusts from your backside

Fried chicken becomes unpalatable

Paying bills using wampum

Starting fires

Thinking your are free, but soon after figuring out that you
aren’t

Going to Prison

Going back to prison

Questioning beliefs

Questioning Authority *Note (one good side effect)

Quitting your job

Getting Fired

Layoffs

Closing down and merging of companies and corporations

Capital gains tax requiring first born child and/or blood
rights

Falling

Tripping

Climbing the fence back to Mexico

WWIII commencement

Death of the ‘almighty’ dollar

Arguing caused by misleading publications and propaganda

Realization that your president isn’t who you thought he
was.

Realizing that your food stamps are slimming

Realizing that half black guy doesn’t give two shits about
black people