Klingenschmitt: Obamacare Causes Cancer!

Gordon Klingenschmitt once again displays his disregard for the truth and complete inability to think rationally with this bizarre rant where he bluntly claims that Obamacare causes cancer because a woman with cancer lost her health insurance, which had nothing at all to do with Obamacare. I’ll take Things That Make Me Scratch My Head for $1000, Alex.

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

Baktru

I… I just don’t get it? How does more healthcare cause more disease. How can anyone be stupid enough to actually believe that?

colnago80

Re Bakktru @ #1

It’s very simple, Klingenschmuck is a whackjob.

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

Baktru“I… I just don’t get it? How does more healthcare cause more disease. How can anyone be stupid enough to actually believe that?”

The Observer Effect. When a Unelected Government Bureaucrat looks at it, it’s cancer. True story.

macallan

Easy – without access to health care lots of people die of cancer without ever being diagnosed and that way never show up in any statistic. Therefore more health care -> higher number of cancer patients.

blf

“Socialized” medicine causes death, pestilence, and disease because yer forced, forced, to things like visit MDs, have scans, and be assigned a time-to-die by the death panels. That’s a lot of stress and means you can’t ignore problems, you get injected and pushed and probed with lots of nasty khemekills and even worse things, so of course, of course, you’re sick and dying. It’s clearly all “socialized” Big Pharma’s fault.

Therefore, Obama.

QED.

John Pieret

Wait a minute! She “couldn’t get help from the government because of Obamacare”? So he’s in favor of a single-payer system instead of the mandatory private insurance system Obama adopted from the conservative Heritage Foundation?

exdrone

Look, if her case had a fair hearing before the Death Panel, what more could she ask for? Some people are never satisfied.

kantalope

Don’t these people understand, if we don’t get Obamacare instituted with the necessary death panels we will never be able to get the Soylent Green factories running at peak efficiency. Why can’t they think of the future and the children?

lorn

In the backward of eight-wing cranks it kind of makes sense.

I ran into this the other day when a right-wing loon brought up the deplorable fact, his figure, that 32 million people were in food stamps. I didn’t catch the connection. I sort of assume that it is evidence of the poverty and the suffering of the poor in this nation and how the numbers of poor have grown even as corporate profits, and the fortunes of the wealthy have grown. I saw it as a failure of the system to make work pay and figure that given half a chance that most of those people could get into a better situation and get off food stamps.

He, on the other hand, saw it as a failure of the poor to work hard enough.

My solution was to adjust the system so that there were jobs, jobs that pay a living wage, so that these people could make enough so that they would no longer need food stamps. His solution was to cut funding to food stamps so that the poor would work harder.

Same fact, two completely different set of assumptions, and two diametrically opposed solutions.

But back to the issue at hand.

Well … of course the right would assume Obamacare causes cancer. How do you know anyone has cancer? You go to a doctor, have some tests done, and the doctor says you have cancer. Before the doctor makes the call, as far as you know, and most importantly, as far as your insurer knows, you don’t have cancer.

You have to remember that the GOP is the party of business, they are not concerned with individual citizens who may suffer and die from cancer. They are interested in limiting exposure of potential insurance company profits, and shareholder value, to the massive financial sink of cancer. As far as the insurance company is concerned the cancer appeared on their radar screen after the doctor tested for it. If you don’t look for it you don’t find it. If the person dies and cancer is determined to have killed them it isn’t something the insurance company has to deal with. Pain, suffering, and individual disability don’t really figure into the bottom line, or show up on the corporate board. The purpose of all business is to show a profit. You can’t let helping sick people get in the way of shareholder value. From the shareholder perspective the key to limiting their exposure to unprofitable cancer cases is to limit testing.

So yes, Obamacare will cause cancer [to interfere with corporate profits and shareholder value]. So it must be avoided.

It all makes sense once you know their point of reference.

felidae

…and burning coal, oil production and refining, and chemical plants definitely do not cause cancer !

laurentweppe

How can anyone be stupid enough to actually believe that?

No one.

See: that’s where the real strenght of the wingnut legions lies: the propagandists do not believe their own bullshit… and neither do their audience. If the wingnuts were sincere and openly said “We want the state to be dedicated to forfecully maintain the dark skinned plebs in a subservient position, especially those who are smarter and more hardworking than us” everyone else would be up in arms. By playacting the village idiots whith wild fantasies about public healthcare making people sick, the wingnuts managed to greatly diminish the hostility aimed at them: case in point: you’re not furiously shouting “Kill the parasitic bastards!“, you’re scratching your head wondering “how can anyone be stupid enough to…”

The Chewbacca defense: It Fucking Works.

savagemutt

Don’t these people understand, if we don’t get Obamacare instituted with the necessary death panels we will never be able to get the Soylent Green factories running at peak efficiency. Why can’t they think of the future and the children?

And I, for one, am counting on a good government job as a Sandman.

kevo

Did anybody else read the full text of the email in the background? It reads “She is the reason why we need the Affordable Health Care Act”. The entire email was probably written condemning the old system and the treatment caps, but in their rush to attack Obamacare, they simply missed embarrassing themselves. Hilarious.

StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

Klingenschmitt: Obamacare Causes Cancer!

Meh, what doesn’t cause cancer these days?

Klingenschmitt probably causes it as much as Obama does.

GET PATHEOS NEWSLETTERS

Sign up for free newsletters and special offers

Get the Best of Patheos Newsletter Get the Atheist Newsletter Get the Dispatches From the Culture Wars Newsletter

Follow Dispatches From the Culture Wars

About the Author

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. Read More...