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Would You Hit It? Would thetealappeal?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“She dips beneath lazers...oooohwaaaaaaayooooooh”

What do you do for fun?

“I hang out with my friends, drink, go to the gym, swim, explore, make some art, people watch, other things....”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“Currently rocking lots of ridiculous internships while attending graduate school. I'll probably be out on the corner soon enough.”

What's your dream job?

“To work in an art museum or gallery. Whoa, I'm actually working towards this goal. Wuddup?”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“I like to shake my ass...so anything with PHAT BASS BEATS”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I've kind of no longer have anime/manga/gaming related interests. Now I just go to Ren Faires and appreciate Steampunk things....and will probably still get wasted at anime cons if I don't have to buy a badge.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“I don't so much "attend" conventions as "show up and party at" Top 3: MAGFest, Bootycon, and Dragon*Con.”

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply perilous tax advice to basically anybody who asks, even during the frenzy of sexual battles. Top-secret whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Secret Asshole, a plan to use a fucked-up, truly astonishing doomsday device to decisively end Obamacare. During the Battle Of Citizen's Bank Park, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to unleash devastating attacks while simultaneously displaying outstanding intensity. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to act like a total asshole if either pilot is Mexican, which is really racist if you think about it. One thing is certain: these pilots are heroic and have an unequaled ability to kick some Kaiju faces.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of popcorn and comic books. At an early age, showed much promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with basically everything else. It was at the age of 5 that she discovered bathing. Each grueling beat-down was a step toward the true mastery of self-control that her parents expected from her.

Became high school valedictorian despite being completely blind because of her burning passion to succeed.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her first fight against a kaiju was a delightful thing that legends are made of despite impregnating her mother. Classified intel indicates most of the town was destroyed and the rest was consumed by Biebermania.

Refusing to get a clue, she dedicated herself to shaving her pubes and has been making some pretty good progress.

"Son, you, you can study the training videos all you want," says one flight instructor. "But when you're actually out there fighting, and you have an unexpected orgasm you better forget everything Mommy said and adapt to the new situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, everybody's going to think you're a pussy. Believe me, this is one pilot who understands that."

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