Spoof news stories from Thursday 9 November 2006

Washington, D.C.- Bush 43, the 43rd president of the United States, against the better judgement and advice of Bush 41, his father and the 41st president of the United States, has decided (he is the Decider) to make a run for the White House two yea...

(Oxford, Oh) Miami University will be opening up three additional campuses in 2007, according to Dean of Student Relations, God Shamgod. "These campuses will be relatively small, compared to the main campus," Shamgod said. "But they wi...

Washington DC (AP) -- The White House found itself with only one can of Campbell's Classic Whoop Ass left in its cabinet this Tuesday night. Due to the startling lack of meal planning evinced by the administration, officials were forced to go ahe...

LOS ANGELES (AP)-- Pop princess Britney Spears is taking a break from her messy divorce proceedings by making a public offer to console any Republican member of Congress on a date for their loss of House and Senate control to the Democrats on Novembe...

London - (Associated Mess): Fundamentalist religious stink tanks are demanding that the Government caves in to their demands this weekend and replaces the traditional Remembrance Day red poppy with the more politically correct papaver somniferum albu...

Vatican City - (Associated Mess): Joseph Ratzinger is set to become the first Pope to launch his own Pirelli-style calendar which promises to show the Pontiff in a daring range of topless poses including traditional hardware accoutrements typical of...

The reactionary stance taken by religious fundamentalists is helping drive gay marriages to new heights. Same sex couples are being so shamed in their relationships that there is now a frantic rush to get down the aisle and into social respectability...

SAN FRANCISCO - Democrats will bring new life, new leadership and mauve curtains to a newly redecorated House of Representatives. As her first act as Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) plans bring in the "Fab Five&q...

NEW YORK, NEW YORK-In a move today that might remind you of the movie, "Weekend At Bernies," or corporations contracting to run school systems, clothing designer Calvin Klein has come up with a new way to "dress up an old white, dead g...

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - In a surprise move, US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, 74, has resigned "in order to look after the dogs" of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline during their messy divorce proceedings.

In response to the overwhelming Democratic victory of both houses of Congress in Tuesday's mid-term elections, U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney has decided to bury the political hatchet and seek compromise and the middle ground. Thanksgiving week...

HARRISBURG, Penn. -- Militants from Al-Qaeda, Hezbollah and Hamas advanced on Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, the Harrisburg Patriot-News reported today. A small contingent of the Pennsylvania National Guard and park rangers from the National Park Service...