From mud huts, umqomboti and straightback to penthouses, expensive weaves and moet!

Memoirs – Chapter Ninety Eight

What would you do if you woke up one morning to discover that you are HIV positive and the person who gave it to you is lying right next to you? Fair question right! Fine I was not positive but her recklessness had exposed us to this situation. Again here I was beating up a pregnant woman and I really wanted to stop but I could not. I was not going to hit him again for I dealt with him the last time. Now it was her turn. I don’t and will never condone any violence on a woman yet here I was. I was angry and I was beating her as though she was a child. She was jumping from one end of the room to the other to try stay out of the reach of my belt. Eventually the wimp of a boyfriend she had came to stop me. He pushed me back and protected her from the last few blows.

“That’s enough man! You will kill her or induce a miscarriage of your child!”

He said holding his nerve! It was not my child it was hers and his! I stumbled back and sat on the couch. All I could think of was HIV positive. That’s all. Everything was forgotten. I did not want to die. Some of us are old enough to say ARVS have not always been there so I have lost friends to this disease. I wanted to cry but I was too angry.

Eventually the commotion died down. Funny enough it was a knock at the door that caused. Keeping up appearances my wife immediately ran upstairs so as not to be seen. I went to open the door. Thank God it was no one of importance just Zimasa. She immediately hugged me and said thank you bhut’wam for taking us back. I had forgotten that when Asthandile left she had left with Zimasa. Marriage just has too much baggage.

“Go upstairs I have guests. We will talk later!”

She walked in and did her molweni to her friends father. I noted that she had no recognition in her eyes towards him meaning that she haad actually never met him. He just said hello and looked the other way. He had not moved from where he stood but once she went upstairs he sat down and started.

“I met Asthandile a few months ago at the gym. It started off as just talking and teasing the gym instructor who takes for the classes until one day we decided to have coffee. I don’t know whose idea it was but it happened!”

I am not sure I wanted to hear this but I also had no energy to stop him. He continued,

“There was one day it rained a lot. You were supposed to pick her up but you said you got delayed at work. I dropped her at your place. It was that day she kissed me! She was crying because she was convinced you were having an affair because I think the first month after that coffee she called you so often and you always had an excuse!”

He stopped again I think hoping I would intervene but to my credit I did not. He must finish!

“From then on things developed faster than I thought. I might have taken advantage of her loneliness I don’t know but she loves you. Yes she made a mistake but there is very little that woman won’t do for you. I am sorry that I played this role in your marriage but I hope that somewhere somehow you will forgive her!”

He said. Was this man for real. Did he really think I was going to forgive her? I wanted her to suffer! He stood up, took out a piece of paper and put it on the table before he walked out. I was too tired to pursue him. I sat there for an hour staring into space. I did not move. I did not sleep I just stared into space. I was lost in thought when someone shook me and startled me in the process,
“I know you said I must not come down but am hungry. Must I make you food?”

It was Zimasa. I had forgotten that part. I told her yes even though I was not hungry. I looked at the paper on the table, the one he had on the table. It was a doctor’s report which proved that he had a vasectomy. This means that the doctors had surgically stopped him from reproducing meaning he was not physically capable of having a child. Asthandile really was having my baby unless she had another man I was yet to discover! I took the doctors report and put it in my study because I was going to follow up to see if it was legitimate. These people had played me for so long no more taking chances.

“I know now is a bad time but may you please go with me to school. I have to bring a professional to school and you being a lawyer will make me sound cool!”

Zimasa said in the background. I think I said yes but my mind was so far away unfortunately. I was not thinking about her or anything other than Asthandile, baby, pregnancy and obviously HIV. This was too much to take in.

I then went upstairs to the bedroom. The door was not locked. I opened the door at the very moment I had a chair fall in the room. As soon as I opened, I saw the chair actually still bounce once on the ground as above it, with two of my expensive ties, Asthandile was dangling by her neck, feet twitching like a finger on the trigger of a gun but most importantly in midair!

AAHHHH!

I screamed running towards her!

****The End****

@diaryofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
Mike Nkululeko Maphoto

Hello Mike and Fellow readers,

I must say Mike you are brilliant at what you do,keep at it and God Bless.

(Please keep me anonymous)

I’m from a small family of 3 (Mom, big sister and me). My parents have since separated but that’s not an issue. My mother is such a strong woman and her faith is amazing, there’s nothing she wouldn’t for us, she makes ends meet through her small business and thank God for her. I am 22 years of age, doing my final year at Varsity and working (I don’t earn much though, just entry level position). Now the problem is with my sister sigh, don’t get me wrong I love her she’s my only sister but her life choices are affecting me. First of all she didn’t finish matric and never tried to fix it regardless of the countless times my mother tried to convinced her, she parties literally every weekend and she spends her piece job wages on hairstyles, clothes and alcohol in that order but wouldn’t even buy herself toiletry. Her ex boyfriend tried to burn my house with me and my mother inside 3 times (she was still out partying), she moved on with yet another unemployed boyfriend who my mother didn’t approve of at first, they party together and that’s their life. My sister is 30 by the way….she’s started getting sick a few weeks back and we later found out that she’s pregnant mind you both her and the current boyfriend are still unemployed,both have kids from previous relationships and the guy’s family hate my sister as they still love his first baby mama, Now my mother and I will have to support my sister and the baby financially coz my mother spends her last cash taking her to the doctors already. She told us the doctors said she had low blood and that was that, recently she told me privately that she’s HIV positive and asked me not to tell my mother and she’s certain that she was infected by her current Boyfriend (I have never cried so much in my life) my mother has been nursing her from day one and she’s also losing weight from all this stress it really breaks my heart to see my mother like this. I am bitter and angry. I feel like my sister could’ve prevented all this. Should I tell my mother about her status? Is it my business to do so? Am I wrong to not want to help her financially? Am I judging her?

First I would like to applaud you for being a stand up woman and trying to make something of yourself. I can tell from your letter that you appreciate your mothers efforts and coming from a house headed by a single mom myself, I wish most of us could be more like you. The sad reality of the matter is that not all people think alike. We all have different levels of reasoning and unfortunately, your sister, old as she may be, is at the lowest end of the reasoning scale.

It is not your place to disclose your sisters status. What she told you was in the strictest confidence and telling her secret will just push her further away. She will never change unless she herself decides that its time for her to be a true mom to her kids. Your mother will never stop helping her, even when she makes the worst decisions because thats what moms do.

What I would urge you to do is to get your mom to ask your sister about her status or insist on going to the doctor with her to hear for herself what the proposed solution for her “low blood” is. Mothers are blinded by love and to that effect, they become oblivious of the truth, even wen it is staring them in the face. Your sister should take a page or two out of your moms book and learn how to be a good parent to her children.

With respect to the issue regarding you not wanting to help her financially, well, it is your money and how you use it is purely at your discretion but what I would advice you to do is to take care of your nieces or nephews. No child has to suffer for their parents mistakes. Where you can, help with their fees, buy them clothes, treat them to a life that your sister has deprived them of. They did not choose their mother so they shouldn’t suffer for what they don’t know.

Asthandile is such a drama queen really she waited till he arrived to pull her stunt mxm

@Heartbroken my dear I know its hard keeping up with sisters who can’t think for themselves yet they succeed in ruining their lives and dragging everyone down with them. Its tough u gotta stay strong for ur mom and take care of her I’m not sure if u telling her will help that part depends on ur moms relationship with ur sis if they are too close she might think u wanna ruin what they have so decide carefully.

I wish she doesn’t die, she must leave to experience what hubby has in store for her in payment of her cheating.

@Heartbroken yho its so sad, I am sorry fr what u going through but my dear u dnt choose family so yah my best advice irrespective of all de things ur sis has done forgive her, dis is not de time to get angry for her as it will affect her badly since u are de only person she entrusted with her status. Pls forget all dat, give her as much support as she needs, take her to de clinic to get de relevant help n give her luv, it will help her to pull back from de sickness n come back to her feet again. Remember one thing HIV is stressful enough as it is scary to digest it in one’s mind. Most importantly talk to her about telling ur mother, she needs to know since she is the one taking care of her so that she can be careful not to be infected in de process, u cannot hide dis from ur mom, ur sis needs both ur support n prayers since ur mom is a praying women. But as soon as her CD4 count is up n she is healthy again, sit her down n make her open her eyes. I wish ur sister well n u n mom all de strength u need, God be with u.

Thanks Mikeesto, took me a while to find this chapter, sortment not according to date anymore? 🙂

A2Q
Similar situation, my cousin is causing grief at my gran’s house. 28 with 3kids, sleeping around, drinking like there is no tomorrow. We tried to kick her out but eventually she moves back as Gran complains she is lonely. Its got to a point where we have realised no amount of intervention will remedy this chickita, she is beyond repairs. Now we patiently wait for her to die of a disease or better yet, much quicker so we can bury her and move on.

It seems cruel they say. Cruelty is what the family goes through because of a skank of a girl who sleeps with anything that’s hanging, bring trophies back home and not even take care of those little bastards. Your letter hit home hard and I’m honestly done trying to help someone who doesn’t appreciate life.. Let God take his creation nje and ask for peace to move on, proly will be better of anyway.

Fn Jack is an angry person… Always has been.. If you check his comments tsa kgale you will get an idea of what kind of a person this Xhosa man. He gives sound advices most of the time but I believe he needs to deal with his demons as well for anger like that can never be good for anyone.

@ Q&A my concern is that you say your mom is nursing your sister cause she is now sick and losing weight and she doesn’t know that your sister is Hiv/Aids The danger in this is that your mother might end up accidentally infecting herself life while nursing her like touching her blood. All this can be avoided if your mom knows the truth . I think you should tell your mum you can’t risk her getting infected. And if she knows she can take the necessary precautions while nursing her.

Q & A my brother you must not feel guilty for feeling the way you are. You are not obliged to help your sister, she made her choices so she must live with them. Despite all your hardships, you managed to go through your final year at varsity and still working, someone who never went to varsity will not understand when I say jugling the two is one of the most difficult things in life. God gave us liberty to choosr between right and wrong. All your life you had a dream and you are close to achieving it. The only challenge os your mother for she is a parent. Telling herbis not ur place but she will find out eventualy. On the other hand, things happen and as a parent she doesnt have boundries when it comes to nursing her. What if something happens and she is exposed to being infected, will you be able to live with it? Do the right thing and tell her. But on your sisters side, she dug her grave let her sleep in it, you dont owe her nothing

@heartbroken the worst thing that could happen if you don’t tell your mom is her infecting herself unknowingly. You need to tell her the truth so that she can take precaution when nursing your sister. She deserves that much..

i dont know if i’m cruel, or if i’m the only one but i wish that Mxo culd have arrived and hour or two later in that room, i think Mike u turning me into a terrible person, the amount of anger i have towards Asthandile is just too much… Eish Lord 4give me…

Astha planned it, people who kill themselves lock themselves in, conveniently the chair drops when Mxo walks in hai, I am certain Mxo is thinking about the money perhaps but surely that little girl in the next room might know where the money is.

People who decide to take their own lives, should not even be stopped hai maan.

Thanks Mike. Mxo could be the one that brought the virus home, and ppl think it might be Asthandile; not that I like her either. Too bad Mxo had already screamed; I would have just given her one long look to make sure she’s properly fastened and closed the door on my way out, had supper, sent for Zimasa to go call her and she’ll make the startling discovery; hhahhhha… am very cruel for a Friday, nnnx!
A to Q: your sister is being selfish for all the nonsense she’s done and brought to your home. Most of us have those black sheep in the family, and as Jackzorro said; we wait for that day when their creator calls them, coz they really are not adding any value to your lives instead they drain you emotionally, physically and financially. Good luck.

Ae this witch aint dead! If she wanted to kill herself she would have locked the door. Entlik Mxo I have an idea why dont you cook for her omotshelle alephiri akgwe klaar. Jrrr I used to be sympathetic towards her but girl is dramatic. I simply dont want her on this blog no more. You need to kill her Character mike.

Ay Asithandile can fool mi too she’s too cleva,nd yoo some pple can talk,I dnt thnk I can be able to call my sister a skank nd her kids bastards nomatter what she does or what she’s done rather f@#k whoever tht call her names like tht.

Wow thanks mike for the nice read. Asthandile is a coward, trying to commit suicide after what she did. She doesn’t even know if her husband is the one who infected her. Q & A da Queen you said it all. Nothing beats the love of a Mom. Ngwana hao le ha e kaba nyaope hosalang ke ngwana hao.

Ay suka both these ppl are cheats…asthandile’s sins r catching up wt her bcoz she startd her wickedness way b4 mxo bt mxo’s skeletons will also crawl out of hz closet at some stage….bayizinja bobabili ahhh mxm…