Trust Issues

Before ya’ll get to thinking that this post is going to be a really deep, philosophical look at my relationship with Mr. U, I’ll go ahead and let you know that my trust issues are of the superficial, hairstyling variety. As in, I don’t trust hairstylists.

I don’t know where this distrust began, but I’m convinced that hairstylists will tell you what you want to hear, regardless of how you actually look. Before any hairstylists get their knickers in a twist, I’ll go ahead and explain why I don’t trust hair people.

Example A: My mother allowed her hairdresser to HACK OFF ALL HER HAIR!!! The hairdresser said she looked fabulous. We just stared, slack-jawed and wide-eyed, too shocked to say a word.

Example B: I volunteered to be a hair show model for a renowned, Belgian hairstylist that was doing a demonstration here in Atlanta. I came out with a MULLET. A PURPLE MULLET!!!! It was hideous, but every last hairdresser in the place oohed and ahhed over my hair massacre like it was a work of art. Mr. Unicorn gently told me that it looked as awful as I suspected. Below is the photographic evidence, should you be daring enough to view it. And before you get on to me about the fugly dress, I’ll have you know that they MADE me wear that for the show.

Photo by Paul Mitchell Esani School.

Example C: One salon made me sign a WAIVER before doing my hair. I went ahead with the haircut, even though that was a total red flag. About five minutes into the haircut, my hairdresser sliced his hand open on thinning shears and bled all over me like it was going out of style. Not necessarily an example of a hairstylist lying about how I looked, but not exactly the best way to earn my trust either.

Needless to say, I’m a little nervous about getting my hair done for the wedding. I’ve been tossing around the idea of just straightening it myself and slapping the veil on, but everyone else seems to think I should step outta my comfort zone and get my hair professionally done. With much trepidation, I scheduled a hair trial at The Hair Artists, right across the street from our venue. The lady on the phone assured me that she had the perfect person for the job, and that all I had to do was show up with my veil.

I showed up to my trial fifteen minutes early with my grandma. It wasn’t long before a tiny blonde woman came bouncing up to introduce herself as my hairdresser, and I did my best to put aside my completely irrational fears. I whipped out my handy dandy phone to show her my “Wedding Hair” board on Pinterest, and she got to work right away.

Now, you may recall that I have crazy, two-tone hair at the moment thanks to a bout of temporary insanity. As it turns out, I am completely on trend with my ombre hairstyle—which my hairdresser refused to believe was entirely accidental—and the up-do I chose for the wedding is PERFECT for this kind of color treatment. Who knew?

Alas, I have LOTS of thick, wavy, unmanageable hair. The hairstylist did her best to wrestle it into submission, but I could tell she was getting frustrated.

Personal photo. Only for you, hive.

Once she was finished, this is what it looked like.

Personal photo. What it looks like with the veil.

Personal photo. This is what it looks like without the veil. The red braid looks really cool against the darker hair, no?

At first, I was thrilled with it. After I left, I wasn’t as thrilled.

For starters, you can totally see the rubber bands holding the braid together. There’s gotta be a way to make them less visible.

Personal photo. See the ugly bands?

I also feel that I need more volume on the top, or the whole thing will look flat and sad halfway through the wedding. As for the back, it looks like a rat’s nest.

Personal photo of the rat’s nest that is the back of my head.

What do you think, hive? Should I start panicking? Or do you think she’ll do a better job on the day of the wedding? Should I abandon my pretty up-do with the braid idea and just wear my hair straight?

comments

Lol–I think the dress and hair match well. But I agree–it’s the kind of look you see in Vogue, not in real life. I like your updike. You should be able to let the hairdresser know to tease your hair more for some volume on top and to keep the rubber bands hidden. Or use the clear silicone ones-they disappear in your hair. Good luck!

If you decide to stick with the hairstyle I’d use the clear hair bands for the braid. I think that could fix the braid issue — because in the pictures you can tell there’s rubber bands and you def don’t want that. And, I’d have her tease it some more.

With that said, I think your hair would look beautiful down and straightened. And, it’d save you money because you can do it yourself. I wanted an updo at first but then my future hubby said he loves my hair down and now I’m doing half up/half down straightened. Everyone seems to think I should add curl or whatever…but the day before my dress fitting I had my hair trimmed and did a recovery treatment on it. My hair was light and bouncy (I also have very thick hair) and I pulled some on top of my head when I was looking at myself in the dress. Done. My hair will be half up/half down and simply straight. That’s how I wear my hair anyways =)

I have to disagree with Mis Iris on the clear silicone rubber bands – they do not disappear in your hair. Not enough for your wedding day. I would definitely ask the stylist if she has another technique for securing the braids. They’re showing right above your forehead! Not acceptable.

Try a different salon? That’s probably not what you want to hear, but between the rubber bands and your dismay with the “rat’s nest” I’m not so sure this stylist understands the importance of your wedding hair.

I do love the style, it looks fabulous with your hair color. I hope you find someone who can create it properly for you!

Well, I’m proud of you for putting your fears aside; I do believe that the braid could be done in a better way. One of my friends is a hair stylist, she is awesome. She lives in Buckhead. If you want to maybe she can do a trial for you. Let me know.

I really like the hair style!! I think it could use a little bit more volume (especially after the veil and everyone hugging you), however the color contract in your hair looks awesome and you should definitely accentuate that.

I love ombre’ hair I am currently rocking a blonde version myself. That being said it does have a tendancy to look like you haven’t gotten your roots done. With an updo ombre’ look can look horrible because your roots are dark and then the bun or nest of curls is lighter. If can look like a mismatched hair piece in pictures. I think ombre’ hair looks best when is is down and tousled like beach waves, this allows the difference in color to look more gradual and not a stark contrast. Good luck with whatever you decide to do on your wedding day.

honestly I would try a different stylist. I would get recommendations from friends and websites. I like the hairstyle I feel like the execution was poor and you deserve better.

Guest

AT,
Guest
08/15/12 @ 7:07 am

I would definitely try another salon! That is not a finished look. You are too pretty to have so-so hair. And if you felt she was getting frustrated with something that simple…can you imagine her on your wedding day? Go with your gut!

As an aside, I had to forfeit a deposit on my first stylist because after much internal debate I knew I wasn’t comfortable with her. I chose to sign with her because I had already spent money on the trial and if I signed it would go toward my styling on the wedding day. I was trying to be frugal. I totally understand charging for a trial, but my advice is not to fall for the trap that it is “free” if you sign them for your wedding. Consider the trial a separate cost on your budget line and go home before committing. Live with your hair, see how it lasts, get a second opinion…

If all you loved about the hair style was the braid, they sell little headbands (@ Sephora or Sally’s Beauty Supply, etc) that look like your hair is braided. So you could get the best of both worlds – straighten your hair yourself and slap on an $8 headband to give it that extra *something something*

@april2499: Oh I LOVE this idea! I agree that the style looks nice with your GORGEOUS veil (so jealous) but it could use a but more polish, and the back needs some work. But I think a little braid-like headband nestled right along your hairline behind your bangs and soft, flowy waves would be beautiful as well, and totaly DIY-able if having someone else do your hair will provide more unneccessary stress on your wedding day.

I am with some of the comments on having the braid, but the rest of the hair down. Either straightened, or with some soft waves would look great, I believe. Even if you pin a bit of the top back, just to get the volume and separation from the braid at the front of your hairline. But it is ultimately up to you if you want your hair down on your shoulders all day, while you are dancing and having a rockin’ time. I can understand wanting it pinned up and out of the way.

Guest

Stellahh,
Guest
08/15/12 @ 7:32 am

I had a TERRIBLE experience with a basic trim/color when I ventured away from my normal salon one time. I have thick dark hair and the girl had thin blonde. I decided that from then on I would try to only work with people whose hair is similar to mine. They just seem to work more naturally with it. So maybe when you call around you can ask for that?

Some hairstylist do an unpolished job the day of the trial, so that might be the issue. The execution’s definetley sloppy, so either try another stylist or go back with this lady and make sure she can do it right.

The one time I went for a perm as a teenager (seemed like a good idea at the time) she went on and on about how thick my hair was and how she was going to have to use 2 bottles of solution and almost ran out of rollers, etc.

I’d gone in for a loose-curl perm, more like a wave, and came out with a poodle perm that was still there a year later–had to chop off half my hair to finally get rid of it.

So I hear ya on the hairstylist trust issues & I generally do all my own hair maintenance.

I think I’d talk to her and see what she says. If she keeps assuring you that oh, no, it’ll be fine the day of? I’d probably keep looking.

I think that your hair show photo and dress look great, but it’s not a ready to wear look really so I get your panic over it! LOL

I have the same hairstylist distrust. It developed over the years and exploded when I started wearing my hair in its naturally curly way rather than getting a relaxer. Now I am totally panicked over my wedding hair, and to make it worse, all 3 of my BMs have the exact same issue (and AMAZING, long, thick, gorgeous, curls)! We all religiously do our own hair for that reason. My solution is to take the risk for myself and have my hair styled but have a hair stylist show up on the day to do as needed “touch ups” on my BMs hair.

I am going to go with what some others said and suggest you go somewhere else. You are very lovely but the hairstyle is not wedding-worthy. Not neat or finished at all.

I enjoy the updo with the wraparound braid but might I recommend you have your bangs incorporated into the braid. The bangs as is look like you’re trying to hide half of your pretty face and kind of takes away from the elegance of an updo.

Also, the color is great but the ombre color doesn’t work for an updo. If you’re sticking with the ombre then try the hair down or if you are set on the updo, then have the color evened out.

Your hairstyle is very similar to what I want but I am wearing it down with the braid. Maybe suggest to the hairstylist that for the updo they do a simple chignong (or however you spell it) instead of a bun?

Guest

Asia,
Guest
08/16/12 @ 7:42 am

I would find a different hairstylist. No one should EVER have to put elastic bands partway through a braid to make it hold up. As pretty as your hair is, your stylist just is not skilled enough. Have you considered going to a stylist who deals primarily with african hair textures? If your stylist feels put out by a few (very pretty!) waves, maybe someone with a bit more experience with textured hair (and braids, and updo’s) could help.

I have no suggestions. I just want to agree with you. I hate hairdressers, all hairdressers, and everything they do to my hair. From when I was a bridesmaid when I was twelve and they made me sit in rollers for two hours for curls that fell out in ten minutes, to the first time I got my hair styled properly for my leaver’s ball and instead of the loose curls I wanted I got stiff, sprayed-to-death ringlets, to every.single.time I go for a haircut and say “I want to keep the length. Trim off the split ends and no more. No more than two inches. I like it long” and they take off six inches without fail, all the while telling me my hair is in crappy condition (which it isn’t) because I don’t have time to get it cut every six weeks (who the hell does?).

Yeah, I’m doing my own hair. It’s actually a bit of a thing now. My mum and aunties and bridesmaid are going to get their hair done before the wedding and my cousin asked if I was coming and my mum just laughed.

I love the hair style but I agree that it’s not so professional in the back and could use some volume on the top. And those elastics have to go. I think you should maybe try there again or just go try at another place. Bring the original pics of the style you want as well as the pics of the trial you’ve done. Explain your concerns and see if they can do better.

As a hairstylist, I’ve never seen anyone use any hair elastics right on top of the head. If she french braids it, and secures it with bobby pins hidden in the braid, it will look great, and hold while looking like it’s holding itself together. The mark of a good updo is to not see what’s holding it up. I would find a new one. Ask for the most senior stylist in the shop. It may cost more, but if you have trust issues with stylists (I get clients all the time that I have to persuade that I won’t hack their hair off.) it’s worth it to pay for someone with more experience.