Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Sinus Infection Beckett Theft Ice Cream President Butler Read PSA

Okay, sinus infection over. A nasty one it was. Haven't had a fun one yet. Maybe next time. Thanks for the tips and understanding everyone.

Worstward Ho.

That's a story by Samuel Beckett. I've been reading Beckett lately. And behold I am enjoying it. The bleakness gets me most times. Bleakness does not feel bleak to me, though. Feels like normal. I don't know what I'm saying. I know what I'm saying.

Fair enough. Fair enough.

I watched my dad on TV today. He was on the news telling the reporter about how the AC unit got ripped off at the office over the weekend and probably sold for scrap to support someone's crack or argyle sock habit. I think he did a good job talking and saying things and motioning with his hands in a way that said, What the hell! Ah, what can you do? I have a jar here for the testicles in case someone catches them. Seeing that made me proud of him.

Today I am declaring my candidacy for the presidency of the United States of America, wherever that is. I am going to make everyone's dreams come true. My fellow Americans and inhabitants of the world, the other candidates are never going to satisfy you. But I will. I will begin by making sure that every person on earth has a lifetime supply of ice cream sandwiches. All you can eat. Universal ice cream sandwiches will create the common ground necessary to settle ancient political and religious conflicts and ease all forms of economic woe. I am not talking about Klondike bars. Klondike bars have a chocolate coating that is in conflict with the soft ice cream inside. The eating experience is confusing. Plus, with everyone outdoing each other for a Klondike bar, that particular ice cream treat turns people into college frat party whores. Join me on my platform of universal ice cream sandwiches and we will bring much needed change to the White House.

In better news, Blake Butler has a new story now living at the New Ohio Review website. I reviewed the first issue of /nor for NewPages, and you'll see I was excited about the work they published then. This issue makes me even more excited about /nor. Also read Blake's story "Exponential" at Willow Springs. And everything everywhere else on that staggering column of publications on his blog. Blake Butler is a force of nature.

And if you're in New York City, CM Evans's art is on display at apexart, where an amazing collection of art is on display in an exhibition entitled "Lots of Things Like This." The event, open now through May 10, was put together by Dave Eggers and has apparently been a huge success. Hard to believe, I know. If you can't make it to NYC, then make it to CM Evans's site and consume a couple hundred cartoons. Be sure to finish your coffee and maybe visit the water closet beforehand, though.

thanks for your support. the grand inquisitor said that if you give people bread they will believe and do anything you tell them. well, i believe times have changed and that hankering for bread has become a craving for ice cream sandwiches. you have to give the people what they want. or make them want what you're going to give them. something.

extreme medical practice will be enforced as well. your doctor will have to perform your gall bladder surgery while intoxicated and driving his 40 foot scarab through very choppy waters.

public roads. yes. they may be closed, but only during the application of pepperoni slices.

About Me

My writing has been published or is forthcoming in New York Tyrant, elimae, Phoebe, Apostrophe Cast, Keyhole Magazine, Lamination Colony, Action Yes, Word Riot, Barrelhouse, Opium, and elsewhere.
I review books and literary magazines and am a member of the National Book Critics Circle.
I can be contacted at joshmaday [at] gmail.com.