Manchester City Stuff Norwich - Expert's Health In Danger

A top football pundit was under doctor's orders this afternoon following Manchester City's demolition of Norwich City.

The Manchester outfit walloped the Canaries 6-1 at Carrow Road, with former outcast, Carlos Tevez, netting a hat-trick.

But that's all we have on the match, since EIF News & Features sports editor Thelonious Adidas was ordered to bed by doctors soon after the final whistle.

Adidas's wife, Flick, told us: "He was already short of breath after laughing so much at something he saw on Football Focus earlier.

"But while he was watching the Norwich game it started to get worse, and it was when that funny-looking man from Argentina - Tevez something, I think - scored his hat-trick, he started laughing uncontrollably.

"When he managed to catch his breath, he was saying something about 'hero and a bastard one minute... now they all love him...'"

Flick said she called the doctor when Thelonious started to turn red and seemed to have difficulty breathing.

"He was told to go to bed and rest - and sorry, but he's not allowed to watch any football tomorrow, especially some game in Scotland... Celtic in the cup is it?"

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