Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Night Of The Living Dead

Anyone who really knows me knows I'm not easy to scare. I'm not kidding. Anyone who can drop acid and remain a Republican isn't someone you want to fuck with. So it's hard to frighten me. I can startle like anyone else but real scares just don't seem to phase me. Except one thing, zombies.

The other night I was walking past the dining room window and noticed several people milling about on our front lawn. I couldn't quite see what was going on but they looked aimless and without leadership. Exactly what I would expect from a zombie attack.

"WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE?" I snapped at Lisa. Then the doorbell rang. I calmed down. Zombies rarely ring the doorbell. Usually they just pound on the wall and occaisionally radio in for more paramedics and police officers to make a grim "home delivery." Doorbells although less complex then a police radio seem to elude even the most dexterous of the undead.

Wouldn't it be better if they were Frankenstein Monsters caroling. Imagine the singing? Like angels ripping the wings off o' flies.

(Sorry 'bout the insane repetition on the comment section for the last post. The computer I use at work likes to tweak out and sometimes I lose patience with it and overclick with zeal. Or... maybe I'm really trying to drive the point home and caps and ex-clay-mation points just wont do.)

We had to give them something. And I was not about to have 20 someodd students from Gordon College (I am guessing that is where they were from because we live close to their campus and they kept saying "God Bless" into my house. When I gave them the candy they kept singing. They were very nice and sang very well.AG, where did you grow up? Was it a place that you could comfortable welcome 20 random strangers into your home for hot chocolate? What if they were zombies dressed as carolers. Those zombies have evolved. Since when have the walking dead been able to run at top speed and have superhuman strength? In the past, they have caught up to there prey, but more recently, like in "28 Days Later" and the remake of "Dawn of the Dead" the paradigm has changed. Not as creepy, but it still works.Anyway, they scared the piss out of me when I turned the light on.