No one is coming to Arsenal, ever

I think that we may have reached the nadir (or maybe we’ve reached the Samir) of the transfer “season.” We’ve hit rock bottom, folks, there’s no way from here but up. The press are now literally linking anyone who scores a goal in Euro 2008 to Arsenal. The latest player-to-be-linked-to-Arsenal-who-will-tomorrow-deny-the-link-because
as-it-turns-out-he-just-wanted-an-improved-contract is Andrei Arshavin. In that link, the Telegraph is going so far as to claim that they know that Wenger has contacted Dick Advoccat. They don’t offer any evidence, just that they know it! I’m absolutely certain that this story will turn out to be another Aquilani, Kompany, Albiol, Gervinho, Yaya Toure, and Torsten Frings.

In fact, look at the last three players linked to Arsenal: Albiol, Aquilani, Arshavin. Notice anything? What are they doing? Going down the Euro 2008 player list and alphabetically listing every player as “linked to Arsenal?”

Meanwhile, the Beeb, not wanting to get sucked in to this insanity, has instead, opted for another insanity: breaking the news that Samir Nasri has signed for Arsenal. You’ll pardon me if I wait for an official announcement.

The negotiations on Hleb are ongoing and although he is a player with some special qualities, if there is difficulties with his club, there are other options we have in mind.

Arsenal have other options in mind too: “keeping him,” or “not selling him too cheap,” and “shut up Barcelona do you want him or not?”

And finally…

It’s looking a lot like Arsenal told Milan to “get lost” when they asked if they could negotiate with Adebayor. Milan are now scrambling to save face and the club’s vice-President went so far as to say

We have received an answer from Arsenal, which says they are not prepared to sell the player. Anything can happen, but for now we are not authorised to negotiate with the player.

Yes, ANYTHING could happen. You know, Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June… I’m just saying, you know, ANYTHING could happen.

Meanwhile, International Injury season is in full swing with Anderson and Ribery picking up substantial knocks. I don’t generally care about those guys but I am urging all Arsenal supporters to knock on wood (“touch wood” if you’re English) because Arsenal haven’t suffered any significant injuries yet. In fact, it’s looking like van Persie’s constant Winter injuries have cleared up just in time for Euro 2008 and due to the extended rest he was given at the end of the season he’s now able to claim that he’s “fresh.”