9 Celebrity Toms introduce unknown Imgurian Tom's book

It has rave reviews

All of the reviews posted to Amazon have been the result of cold-calling bloggers and book reviewers, all of whom loved it and given awesome 4- and 5-star reviews. Love from strangers is the second best kind of love.
It's a paranormal suspense novel, but don't let the category fool you—there is genuinely something for everyone here.

There are goddamn sensible characters

Nothing frustrates me more as a reader than when a character makes a dumb decision for the purpose of advancing the plot.
My characters have more than empty air in the space between their shoulders. If a situation looks like it's gonna go south, then at least one of them is likely to bring up the option of nope-ing the eff* out of there.
*Oh, and there's cursing. Because fuck censors. Not a lot of it, but its tasteful presence seasons all the right scenes.

There's a womanizing wiseass ginger

And he's one of the good guys. He's best friends with a former dream-stalking assassin and a stalwart lady-cop who he used to date, but he manages to keep the clearest head of anyone when the chips are down.

There are moments of loss for characters and readers alike

People die. It's a fact that isn't shied away from in this book, and it can be a violent end, a peaceful end, a long-awaited end, or an abrupt end. All of these and more happen in this book.

MRW I've tried this four times already and died in usersub...

Don't make the Toms sad. =(

So before you downvote...

Consider your karma. Think about it: This is my good deed of the day, giving stuff away for free that I genuinely care about. Upvote, downvote, my job is done—I just want my book in front of new readers. But the more upvotes the post gets, the more people who can benefit from the free book, and only you can make that happen! That seems like a good deed to me—and then you're done for the day. Or at least you'll have bought yourself a buffer against the negative karma you'll get from mugging that old lady at the bus stop.
Plus, free book.

"How do I get this amazing book?"

You'll have to go through a lengthy vetting procedure, including signing an NDA, swearing to sacrifice your firstborn, and pledging your allegiance to me with the coming of the new order.

JUST KIDDING!! Here it is for free!

I love the Imgur community, and I've had a blast waking up to you guys every morning. While I can't weld or paint or make my dogs do weird tricks, telling stories is something I can share with the world.
I made a Dropbox to streamline the process! Take your pick. https://www.dropbox.com/sh/9qivylvurudlv1g/AABO-9D_rUsXLybXSan9h60da?dl=0
Formats:
.mobi—Perfect for Kindle readers.
.epub—Perfect for Nook/Kobo/non-Kindle readers.
PDF—Least reader-friendly format, but you definitely have something that can open this.
If you like this book, feel free to leave a review on Amazon and I'll send you a copy of the sequel. Otherwise, enjoy your free book! I also have more free stuff coming in the future. =)