"We can do no great things, only small things with great love."
Mother Teresa

Waiting for our baby girl

Monday, November 02, 2009

6 Months of Waiting

It’s been awhile since I relayed any adoption news. The adoption is on our hearts and minds quite often but as many other things in life, it is not demanding our immediate attention so it gets shuffled to the bottom of the pile of things that need attention. For awhile I felt like it was not going to happen. It felt surreal, like seeing our daughter’s face was so far off, but lately it seems closer. Maybe it is the realization that she most likely is born, that she is out there somewhere across the ocean. That maybe she is loved and cared for by her family or maybe she is alone and afraid. My momma’s heart aches for her whenever she comes to mind. My arms are so eager to hold her. We pray daily that God would strengthen her heart until we can come for her, that she has arms to hold her and love her, and that she has enough food. In the last few months, we have crept up into the unofficial waiting list of families to number 5, where we currently stand. We are number 4 for an infant girl. This could mean so many things. It could mean our anticipated 9-11 month wait will end sooner than that. Or it could mean things will move slowly from here on out. We are almost 6 months since our dossier was sent to Ethiopia. We are all eager to see her face. Emma is excited to meet her little sister though sometimes I wonder if she thinks she is an imaginary friend. We have talked about Emma sharing her little baby car seat with her sister, and the clothes she has outgrown. But I realized after we had this conversation that maybe she thinks her little sister is kind of like Jesus. Someone that is there but she cannot see. We had this conversation a few months ago after nighttime prayers:

Emma: Jesus is going to ride in my car seat with me.

Me: Well, yes, Jesus is with us everywhere, all the time. So He is with us when we are in the car.

Emma (after thinking a bit): Jesus is really little.

Me: Actually, Jesus is SO big, He made the mountains. He made Daddy and Mama. He made you!

Emma (thinks about that for awhile): Jesus is going to have His own car seat. A big car seat.

Me: Because He’s so big?

Emma: Yeah. He’ll have a REALLY big car seat.

This conversation revealed to me that 1) Emma thinks her sister is like Jesus, someone she knows about but cannot see and 2) the concept of Jesus being with us in the car without a car seat seems very unsafe. I loved it. And I love that girl. And I love how she is slowly beginning to learn of Him.