Monday, April 27, 2015

I was raised in Southern California, surrounded by a large Spanish-speaking
family. I later attended Brigham Young University and married my high school
sweetheart, my Marine, in 2008. We have grown up together in more ways than
one.I wouldn’t change a minute of that
wild ride that brought us to this point in our life. We have since been blessed with 3 beautiful
children in our own little imperfectly perfect paradise.

I am currently certifying as a birth doula with New
Beginnings Doula Training. I am a founding member of the North Utah County Birth Connection and assist with community outreach events like our popular Birth Stories Night. I have also taken a breastfeeding class taught by the talented Julie Johnson BA, RLC, IBCLC.

I never would’ve pegged myself for someone who was interested
in the birthing process.In fact, I can
tell you that the thought of the pain usually associated with childbirth scared
the living daylight out of me. For that reason, I did everything I could to
avoid the subject.

Then, it happened. I was pregnant. With twins.

Yikes.

The OBGYN took one look at my ultrasound and told me I’d be
having a cesarean. Breech babies were not to be birthed vaginally. It didn’t
even occur to me to ask about ways to turn a breech baby or if he knew of any
OBs who felt comfortable birthing a breech baby. But if I’m being honest with
myself, I was grateful for the opportunity to bypass the pain I’d been told
about my whole life. A surgery would be a piece of cake! Right?

Ok, disclaimer time. I know that some people love cesareans.
I know others can only have cesareans. I even know that some people heal quite
quickly from cesareans.

I didn’t. And that’s ok. My story doesn’t mean that yours
was wrong or vice versa. It’s just my story. That’s it.

I’ll spare you all the details, but my cesarean left me
feeling scared, alone, drugged, and disconnected from my husband and newborn
twins. I buried those feelings as best as I could since I had “healthy babies”
and there was nothing else I was entitled to worry about.

3 years later I was pregnant again and in search of a very
different birth experience. I swept entire rows of birthing books into my cart
at the library and feasted on research. Each page I turned filled me with
wonder and slowly, the embers of a fire I didn’t even know I had, began to
burn.

I got my VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). But you know,
I would’ve been ok if an emergency had put me back on that operating table.
Why? Because I was empowered. I trusted my mind, heart, body, and medical team.
I had taken the time to prepare myself and I felt like the universe itself
stood still to stand as a witness of my power in that pivotal moment.

In the coming weeks, I would realize that I would have to
return to that birthing room again someday. But this time, it would be to support
another.

I am a doula

As a doula, this is the care that I pledge to provide.

I pledge my heart, that you may feel loved.

I pledge my hands, that you may feel comforted.

I pledge my ears that you may feel heard.

I pledge my voice that you may feel empowered.

This is your right, and my honor. By giving
ourselves the grace to be women, we help to give birth to not just children,
but mothers as well.

Welcome to our little corner of the internet! My name is Kasaundra Trout and I am a birth doula with Eden's Roots LLC. I have a husband, 3 children, and a passion for helping women in one of the most pivotal moments of their lives.