Masturbation Breaks At Work Might Be In Your Future

Typical office perks include free coffee or complimentary lunches now and then. It might seem simple and silly, but these are the little things that keep us sane throughout the work week. But, what if your boss asked you what other perks would be helpful for your productivity? Your first thought probably wouldn’t be designated masturbation breaks; however, it turns out that actually wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.

British newspaper Metro, was curious to know if office policies on workplace masturbation would have a positive effect, so they asked a few science experts what they thought. According to Mark Sergeant, a senior lecturer in psychology at Nottingham Trent University, masturbation breaks would be “very effective” in the office. He even described it as a “great way to relieve tension and stress”.

Psychologist and life coach Dr Cliff Arnall, seemed to have the same thought and told Metro, “I would expect a masturbation policy to result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling.”

Imagine how peaceful your office environment would be if everyone snuck away to rub one out here and there. Maybe that bitchy coworker (you know who we’re talking about) just needs a little time to herself in order to adjust her attitude.

Arnall also made a good point that being under pressure to reach climax within your break may be stressful in itself and could ruin the experience entirely. He also noted that it wouldn’t be wise to fantasize about a colleague, so make sure you save some good porn on your smartphone to keep yourself in check.

Next time you’re feeling a little stressed out, walk up to your boss and propose a new policy change to allow time for masturbation. We definitely don’t encourage spending a majority of your shift hiding in the bathroom, but next time coffee doesn’t seem to hit the spot, take a break and remember that psychologists confirmed that a little “you” time will make your day so much better.