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Peytyn Willborn, celebrity hair dresser (key stylist to Academy Award winning actress Mo’Nique among others) turned serial entrepreneur, has been officially divorced from popular Chicago comedian George Willborn (The Michael Baisden Show, The Doug Banks Show) for more than a few years now.

Married for more than 15 years, the coupling was filled with infidelity, and career envy among other things, and that ultimately led to the separation, according to Peytyn Willborn.

I recently sat down with Peytyn to discuss the tumultuous marriage, how it changed her outlook on business, and her advice for surviving life post-divorce. Here are a few of the gems I took away from our conversation.

1. Leave the “pity party.”

Everyone knows that divorce is some bullsh*t. Most divorcees will agree that it’s undoubtedly one of the worst times in their lives. But, and I say this with the most empathy as possible, so what?

Peytyn said that she set a statute of limitations on feeling sorry for herself, even when she was still clashing with her ex-husband.

She stressed that the first year should be your throwaway; that it’s normal to vent about the loss, grieve the relationship, and to talk to loved ones about every minute detail. But after that, it’s imperative to make a deliberate effort to stop victimizing yourself. Regardless of what your spouse has done–is still doing or will do–you CANNOT make the pain and embarrassment of your split become your identity.

2. Accept your new financial climate

Peytyn said that this was one of the most important revelations she had during the divorce. Although she has been financially independent all of her adult life, Peytyn realized that she had to reaffirm her priorities and be prepared to spend money as a single person.

“I refused to rely on my ex-husband as my long-term financial solution, nor did I EVER allow myself to think that ‘finding another man’ will affect my finances in a positive way,” she said.

Although the self-made millionaire did receive emotional support from her ex during the beginning stages of building one of her three 24-hour daycare centers a few years ago, she still credits her independent streak as the catalyst for her success post-divorce.

“Although I lived my married days with the mindset of ‘forever,’ I didn’t treat my purse like that,” she said. “I ALWAYS made sure I had my own, and made sure I kept my own once we parted because I knew that I needed to maintain the life I became accustomed to.”

This notion, along with Peytyn’s business savvy, led her to launch her latest business venture, an upscale Italian restaurant on Chicago’s south side.

George and Peytyn Willborn

3. Don’t blame yourself

“No good marriage ends in divorce.” -Louis C.K.

Peytyn said that one of the biggest lessons she learned during her divorce was not taking her ex’s missteps personally.

“I know that I was a good partner, not perfect by any means, but nothing I did or didn’t do should have garnered the type of treatment I received,” she said.

During the divorce, she said she learned to pick her battles, to let go of issues that don’t really matter or can’t be changed and to accept with grace and maturity the general pain of an ongoing end of a marriage — acknowledging this just makes life a little bit easier.

4. Allow happy to happen

Peytyn said she could remember a time when she was often in the shadows while working with her ex-husband.

“As George’s manager, he often told me that I was too bashful to do certain things, and sometimes would laugh at me when I tried to step out of my shell–for a long time, I believed him,” she said. “Now that that period of my life is over, it’s all about Peytyn and the ones that love me.”

5. One last thing: Post-divorce, #PeytynSays said that she learned to channel her energies into evaluating her life, her dreams and how to move forward. Also, although jumping into another serious relationship too soon is ill-advised, there is “nothing wrong with having companionship, and not feeling guilty about it,” she said.
Relish in your joys.

From huge pasta shells stuffed with gorgonzola to braised lamb shank with creamy polenta, Peytyn Willborn promises her new American/Italian restaurant will offer both creative and healthy cuisine not normally found in Bronzeville.

Truth Restaurant , 56 E. Pershing Rd, opened to the public last month. Willborn, who also owns three 24-hour daycare centers and formerly a hair stylist to Monique’ among other celebs, said she wanted to give the community an alternative to the food chains that are spread throughout Bronzeville.

“Only the freshest of the fresh is served from our kitchen,” Willborn said, referring to the home grown ingredients all three of her chefs use to prepare Truth’s dishes.

Willborn, a Bronzeville resident, knows firsthand how challenging it is to find fresh and healthy food options in the community. When she found herself starting to travel up to 40 minutes away from home to find a meal to fit within her vegetarian lifestyle, she decided to do something about it.

“Being a vegetarian for more than 20 years, I was tired of having to eat mediocre food when dining out on the south side of Chicago,” Willborn said.

Although Truth is not solely vegetarian, it has options that satisfy all palettes. The restaurant’s menu include sandwiches with grilled chicken and appetizers including roasted tomatoes and goat cheese. There are salads that are made up of nutrient rich, marinated kale instead and eggplant parmesan. You can also substitute whole wheat pasta for the white.

Willborn said although she wants southsiders to feel at home, she wanted to keep her menu as authentically Italian as possible to offer her patrons a dining experience outside of what they’re used to.

“I’ve had customers come in that have visited Italy and praised my food for closely resembling what they had there, and other customers that have never even heard of bruschetta,” Willborn.

This neighborhood, until fairly recently, has been known as a food desert, where healthy and affordable healthy food options are few and far between.

“A lot of the things you’re stuck with getting within minutes of your home around here are chicken wings and McDoubles,” Willborn said.

The former hair stylist to the stars said she wanted to offer the Bronzeville neighborhood the LA treatment.

“While I was working on the set of The Parkers, the craft services table would be filled with food from local restaurants that served multi-ethnic cuisine and would be located right in the backyard,” Willborn said. “I wanted that for my city,” Willborn said.

Willborn said she became fed up of not having the same options as most north and central Chicago residents when dining.

“I am humbled to know that I am the black ONLY owner of an Italian restaurant on the south side that could rival those that are located in the parts of Chicago that usually ‘matter,’” Willborn said, referring to the heavily favored north and central sides of the Windy City.

The serial entrepreneur said she plans to turn the restaurant into a chain with locations dotting more southside neighborhoods like Englewood and Auburn Gresham.

Although she is vehement about the locations of the restaurants, she has been met with reservations from friends and concerned family members due to the neighborhoods’ violent history.

“Chicago is no media darling, let’s be clear about that,” WIllborn said. “The entire country is afraid to come to our neck of the woods because of the reportings of violence, but I don’t care about that.”

Willborn said that despite the rampant violence, there are more people willing to improve the communities than destroy them. She said she believes those same people will patronize her business.

“I want Truth to be a household name when they think of healthy, accessible and delicious food,” Willborn.

Truth is well on its way to becoming a popular destination with visits from such celebs as Judge Greg Mathis and Kenny Lattimore.

“I want to bring out the best of Chicago–no, the best of the country, to enjoy what Truth has to offer.”

I managed to wipe enough drool from my jaw and have a conversation with the trailblazer about journey from model to mogul. Here’s a few of the gems she dropped on me.

1. Always have an endgame in mind.

As we all know, Beverly said that a career in modeling is usually a short lived one, a fact that she realized at the young age of 21. “I was on magazine covers thinking to myself, I have to find a way out of this–I have to be able to take care of myself when they don’t want me anymore,” she said. She decided that she would turn her name into a brand and she branched out to other business ventures, including her latest, hair extensions.

2. Own it.

Before launching her latest line of hair extensions and pieces, Beverly said she was under contract with a company that required her to exclude Black-owned stores.

“I couldn’t even, in good faith, be the face of the brand anymore because I was not ALLOWED to sell to my fellow business owners,” she said. “So I stepped out on faith and did it my own way.”

3. Be the dumbest person on your team.

Ok maybe she didn’t use those semantics, but you get the point. Surround yourself with experts in their prospective fields. “It is so much easier to focus on what you want to accomplish when everyone around you really knows what they’re doing,’’ Beverly said.

4. Keep your day job.

“One day I was a student, the very next I was model–just like that,” Beverly said, “but I knew that I needed to support myself if the modeling thing didn’t work out–I’m STILL like that.” If your dream has not come to fruition, it is okay to still fund it with the day job in the meantime. If you step out on faith, be sure that you have a plan, or be prepared to have some challenges.

5. Embrace your past.

Beverly mentioned that she is in midst of releasing a memoir with Simon and Schuster, revealing some of the most pivotal moments in her life.

“While writing my book, I remembered things that I forgot happened,” she said. When speaking about the romantic chapter in the memoir, she joked “I kept asking myself, ‘dang girl, you did him too?’” She spoke on the fact that although there were some questionable moments, she wouldn’t trade them.

Two Illinois lawmakers on Wednesday called for more trauma centers on Chicago’s South and West Sides, saying a key new study shows that if ambulance rides are more than five miles away, victims are more likely to die.

State Sen. Mattie Hunter, chair of the subcommittee on special issues, said the city should have addressed the needs of the communities a long time ago.

A recent study at the Finberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University showed that of 11,744 gunshot woundpatient, 4,782 were shot more than five miles from a trauma center. The average transport time and unadjusted mortality were higher for these patients. Victims suffering from gunshot wounds for more than five miles from a trauma center were associated with an increased risk of death.

The city currently has six trauma centers. Trauma centers are highly specialized medical facilities equipped with the resources and staff needed to treat life-threatening injuries. Without a trauma center in close proximity to the victim, they have a greater chance of dying.

Trauma centers are categorized in two ways. Level I centers have 24-hour, on-site trauma surgeons and the appropriate medicine needed to treat the patients. Level II centers have the medicines available with fewer trauma surgeons on the premises.

“My friend was shot right under the 47th Street Green Line train station and was taken across town to Stroger Hospital as opposed to one that was closer, and died because of it,” said Michael Dunn, a 19-year-old Harold Washington Collegestudent.

Veronica Moore has lived on the South Side for more than 21 years and has seen an increase in violence within her community. Morris said the lack of trauma centers on the city’s South Side reflects discrimination and social injustice.

“This is a direct attack on poor people,” said Moore, who is a member of Fearless Leading by the Youth, an advocacy group that is pushing for more trauma facilities in undeserved areas of the city.

Crandall and her associates at Northwestern said the study’s findings show that there is a great need for the centers.

“The study doesn’t negate the costliness of the centers, which could be between $5 – $40 million,” she said. “Approximately seven to eight more lives would be saved if trauma centers proximity didn’t exceed five miles.”

However, the need for trauma centers within close range to individuals most susceptible to traumatic incidents is very high.

Flowers equated the need for trauma centers in the most violent areas of the South Side to those in battlefields used by military personnel.

“When soldiers are in the battlefield, they have trauma centers in the trenches,” said Flowers. “That’s why our troops are able to come home.”

Dr. Philip Verhoef, 38, is a physician at the University of Chicago Intensive Care Unit and said everyone deserves that level of care. He has held this position for four and a half years. He works in the adult and pediatric intensive care units.

He said this is not only a gun violence issue, but also a public health issue.

“If the patient is more than five miles from a trauma center, they are 21 percent more likely to die,” Verhoef said.

Singer and natural hair maven Chrisette Michele, 31, is no stranger to adapting to change. Her style has evolved in the past few years, she’s dropped major weight and signed on for reality stardom. And we can’t forget how much of an impact her natural hair has made on herself and fans alike.

“I just always liked my hair–I don’t know what it is, but there’s just something about wearing your own, it’s so freeing,” Chrisette told CurlyNikki in February 2013.

The “Better” singer sat down with UPTOWN during the first anniversary celebration of beauty blog Natural Hair Bride in Chicago last week. Chrisette shared some intimate details about her new album, The Lyricist’s Opus; trying not to slap any of the “R&B Divas” and her impression of Black women on TV. Founder of Natural Hair Bride Ro’Shunda Russell also shared her thoughts on the freeing experience natural hair affords most women.

“I don’t know what it is [either] but I just know that natural hair is not a trend–it is here to stay,” Russell said.

Chrisette isn’t only concerned with her outer appearance, as you can’t have healthy hair without a healthy body. She revealed that she switched up her eating habits after she watched Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead, which explores the effects of an unhealthy diet. Her healthy eating has helped her vocal talent.

“I have five new notes [in my vocal range] that I didn’t have before, which is very strange, but I think it’s because of ridding myself from dairy,” she said.

When asked about how she got along with her new cast mates of the TVOne reality show “R&B Divas: LA,” Chrisette said that she was pleasantly surprised.

Catch up with the singer on the upcoming season of “R&B Divas: LA” this fall.

“I actually like them,” she said. “I was very afraid, because I would be the one to smack somebody.”

She says she even urged the other singers (Leela James, Chante Moore, Lil’ Mo, Claudette Ortiz, and Michel’le Toussaint) to seek counseling with her.

“I took them to get therapy, because I was like ‘if we are going to be in this place together, we need to see a therapist,’” Chrisette said.

She also talked about why she decided to support Russell with Natural Hair Bride.

“I have to support any of my sisters that I see out doing something positive with their life,” Chrisette explained.

Russell also mentioned that it was a dream come true to have the singer partake in the blog’s celebration.

“I spoke this into existence over a year ago that I wanted Chrisette to be here,” said Russell, when speaking about the bridal fashion show that featured models with various natural hair styles, during the blog anniversary.

The singer also let us know some exclusive details about her new self-funded album, The Lyricist’s Opus, which will include live instrumentation and ballet performances to accompany Chrisette’s sublime vocals.

“It’s in production right now, and it is the most excitement I have had so far,” she gushed. “This is the first time that I am getting able to compose with arrangers and composers.”

Although Chrisette is on reality TV, the popular scripted shows “Scandal” and “Being Mary Jane” are on her radar. And she takes no issue with their depiction of Black women, saying that it’s all entertainment.

“I have such a hard time with the phrase ‘a good depiction of Black women’ because we are all so different,” she said. “On one end, I’m happy to see my sistas on television, but on the other hand, the shows are freakin’ awesome, so that’s a dichotomy that I live with.”

Check out video of the interview with Chrisette Michele here. And catch Chrisette while on tour, and pick up her hit album Better in stores now.

Mandela not only offered his South African citizens governmental guidance, but also provided his global admirers and supporters with unparalleled wisdom. As the world reflects on his lifetime of achievements and celebrates his life, we’re taking a look at some of Nelson Mandela’s best quotes for inspiration on how to lead our best lives:

1. “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Best Life Tip: After every failure, think about every possible factor that led up to you not succeeding and do the opposite. For example, if a particular interview garnered a rejection, think about what methods of preparation you did not take, and implement them in your next interview.

2. “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

Translation: There is absolutely no excuse nowadays to not be informed about as much as you possibly can. With mini intelligence centers disguised as phones at our fingertips, there is no reason to not know about the world outside your sphere.

Best Life Tip: In your downtime, try picking up a book about a subject that is out of your comfort zone, yet completely informative. For example, I have absolutely no interest in beingmarried at this point in my fabulous, young life, but I found myself stepping outside of my norm, and picking up You Can Be Right, OR You Can Be Married by Dana Adams Shapiro. The texttaught me lessons on acknowledging my full-self, nurturing my assets, and embracing my flaws. Ah-ha moment indeed.

3. “A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special.”

Translation: Part of being a self-actualized individual is being able to express coherent and inspiring notions with others, thus aiding in their self-actualization as well. In layman’s terms, being able to be well-spoken/well-written is a beautiful thing.

Best Life Tip: Start a journal. This enables all of those fleeting thoughts to be forever chronicled, and ultimately, better organized–and its cathartic. Then read them aloud. Gage how fluent your words are, and practice speaking that way while conversing with others.

4. “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Translation: Don’t be a hater. Whether it’s making a snarky, unsolicited comment about that person you’re secretly jealous of, or holding a long standing grudge against that one friend that still owes you money. I recall a powerful tidbit that Oprah shared on “The Oprah Show,” in which she discussed a decade-long grudge against a woman she once considered a friend–after seeing her out, laughing and smiling, Oprah realized “that laughing and smiling woman wasn’t thinking about me at all.”

Best Life Tip: Actively work on letting it go. Think about the Oprah incident. The person that you are allowing to get you upset, is more than likely not giving you a second thought. Sounds cliché, but think about all of the blessings you’ve received, and how trivial your resentment really is compared to them.

5. “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

8th January 1993: Headshot portrait of African-American author Maya Angelou wearing black sweater with a pearl necklace, smiling and holding flowers in one hand. (Photo by Stephen Matteson Jr/New York Times Co./Getty Images)

With words that both shook and caressed, Maya Angelou was one of the world’s most belovedliterary figures. Yesterday morning, we all felt the blow that the 86 year old’s passing dealt. Most took to Instagram to express their gratitude for the poet’s wisdom, brilliance, candor, and her ability to just “be.”

Maya Angelou on Haters: The term “hater,” although overused, is ambiguous. Ms. Angelou, however, left no doubt about what she thought of those who hate. Read carefully!

Maya Angelou on Love: Angelou, having had her fair share of great loves, knows a thing or two about the big-little four letter word. She often spoke of how important it is to tell the person that you love, that very thing.

Maya Angelou on Self-Acceptance: One of the most infallibly confident women of our time, she overcame, rape, bigotry, and a brief stint as an exotic dancer in her lifetime. Angelou told us to love ourselves, no matter what.

Maya Angelou on Individuality: Normalcy. What’s that? Angelou always believed in stepping outside of the box. She spent time as a singer and a calypso dancer before turning her talents to the written word.

Maya Angelou on Learning to Wear “Big Person Pants”: Not one to take kindly to excuses, Dr. Angelou believed in making the life you created, no exceptions.

Maya Angelou on Making an Impact and Connecting with People: Without a doubt, she practiced what she preached. Angelou’s massive following can attest to the overwhelming emotion her work evoked. Every poem, novel, or line was intentional — purposeful. And for that, we are grateful.

While attending the first anniversary celebration of beauty/bridal blo gNatrualHairBride.com, I was able to interview Grammy nominated singer Chrisette Michele, who was surprisingly warm and open about anything from her “naps” in her head to her learning to feel worthy of love again.

When asked what prompted her bout with juicing and subsequent vegan diet, she said that initially she was afraid to try it.

“I was in the studio with Ruben Studdard and fellow musician Howard Lily, when he offered me some of this thick, green juice,” she said. “The only thing that’s usually offered in the studio is either weed or money, so I wasn’t into it.”

However, she tried a hand at juice fast for 30 days after setting aside her fears–and that turned into 60.

“I wanted to continue past the 60 days, but I didn’t feel right eating the things that I ate before the fast–so I made a change.”

Re-invent yourself

Chrisette kept her fans pleased with back-to-back hits and successful albums, she said her hair cut truly left her feeling the most joyful.

“I don’t know what it is, but it’s just something about rocking your natural hair,” she said. “It’s just beautiful.”

She also said that her recent performance in Jamaica reaffirmed that her closely cropped textured look was the way to go.

“My performance in Jamaica was insane because all of my family is from there–so it was like a homecoming/a sea of all of these beautiful brown people with all of these different beautiful hair textures.”

Let yourself know that you’re worthy of love

When speaking about her latest hit, A Couple of Forevers, she said that she was inspired by the fact that she felt like love was available to her again.

“I wanted to open myself to love and let ‘me’ know that I am worthy of good love,” she said.

She also revealed that she has a beau that helped her realize that.

“Yeah he’s been around for awhile and I still like him, so that’s always a good sign,” she joked.

Support sisterhood

NaturalHairBride.com founder Ro’Shunda Russell revealed that she prayed for Chrisette to join her at the blog’s first year anniversary celebration long before it came to fruition. She also stressed her gratitude, because she had doubts that the songstress would feel compelled to support.

Chrisette quickly replied, “I had to come because whenever I see another young sister doing something positive, I have to help.”

She also mentioned that she doesn’t agree with the backlash that the “side chick” characters from hit shows Scandal and Being Mary Janehave received due to their depiction of black women.

“I have such an issue with the phrase ‘good depiction of black women,’ because we all come in different flavors, shapes and do so many different things,” she said.

She also said that although it is difficult to choose a stance on the issue, it’s all entertainment.

“On the one hand, I’m just glad to see my sisters on primetime television,” she said. “But on the other hand, the shows are freakin’ awesome–it’s my dichotomy as an entertainer….”

Invest in yourself–think of yourself as a small business.

The “Better” singer said that as a musician, she is a walking billboard for her worth.

“I always have thought of myself as a small business,” she said. “I spend hours in the morning daily in front of my computer doing research on how to better myself.” She says that she is humble enough to acknowledge that she needs bright minds to help her expand, just like Fortune 500 companies. “I think the hardest part of running a small business is to feel comfortable to ask others for advice and actually apply it,” she said.

Seek therapy when needed

The new reality tv star talked about her rapport with her fellow cast mates on the upcoming season of the hit TVOne show, R&B Divas:LA, and how she was able to refrain from slapping them.

“I actually like them,” she said. “But at first I was really afraid because I would be the one to slap one of them–so I told them, ‘if we are going to be doing this together, we need to seek therapy.”

She said that filming has gone really well, and the ladies are currently in Puerto Rico taping.

Saudi Arabian Princess Meshael Alayban has been arrested for slavery in Orange County, Calif. because Alayban allegedly held a Kenyan woman, who was in her employ, against her will.

“It’s been 150 years since the Emancipation Proclamation, so slavery has been illegal in the United States and certainly in California all this time,” said Orange County District AttorneyTony Rackauckas. “It’s disappointing to see it in use here,” he added.

Alayban, who is a wife of Prince Abdulrahman bin Nasser bin Abdulaziz al-Saud, allegedly held a 30-year-old Kenyan woman captive as a domestic servant against her will under false pretenses. The servant was promised, under contract, to be compensated approximately $1,600 per month for eight hours of work, five days out of the week. According to her claim, she workedupwards of 16 hours per day, seven days a week for $250 a month. The servant also claims that Alayban confiscated her passport, and she was prohibited to venture outside of the mansion wall without permission.

The Kenyan woman was only able to escape after flagging down a California bus driver and informing him of her predicament and pending escape plan. After contacting authorities, 42-year-old Alayban was arrested last Wednesday and held on $5 million-bond; her bail was posted on July 13th, subsequently releasing her. As a result, the princess is required to wear aGPS tracking system because she is considered a flight risk. Alayban faces up to 12 years in prison if convicted of the human trafficking charges.

So what I really want to know is, was this just a gross breach of contract, or modern day slaving?

We have all had those moments where a deep breath, a prayer to your maker, and a step back prevents a bout of anger from turning into one really detrimental situation. Well, these individualstook none of the aforementioned steps, and let their anger get the best of them. Word of advice: Do the exact opposite of everything mentioned below, and save yourself a world of trouble.

Tina Campbell (of Mary Mary) and Teddy Campbell: Who saw this coming? I surely didn’t. One-half of the hit gospel duo Mary Mary told Ebony that once she learned of her husband Teddy Campbell’s infidelity, she tried to stab him several times–and contemplated reconfiguring the terms of her will in case one of them died. Whew! Since then, the two have reconciled, and had added a fifth child to their large family. Her newest season of the hit WeTV reality show “Mary Mary” is set debut in the coming weeks.

Naomi Campbell Vs. Ana Scolavino: Naomi Campbell has certainly earned her reputation of being a super bitch model over the years, with her fierce demeanor and devil may care attitude. Nothing made this more evident than when claims from her former maid, Ana Scolavino, revealed that in a fit of rage, Naomi hit the her in the head with her cell phone. Ms. Campbell pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor charge and was sentenced to probation and community service. Since then, the model has continued to make waves in the media with her hit reality show, “The Face,” and her blatantly inappropriate relationship with a married billionaire whom she supposedly, just recently split with.

Britney Spears Vs. an SUV: It seems like it’s been a lifetime since Britney Spears’ existential crisis–a.k.a. her head shaving-paps attack. Back in 2007, Britney seemed like she had had enough of the world that made her a teenage millionaire. After a bevy of bizarre behavior, she finally reached her boiling point when she took an umbrella, and attacked a photog’s SUV with it. After unsuccessfully trying to destroy the vehicle, she then turned her violent tantrum onto the photographer himself. That, again was unsuccessful. Eventually she was taken away by some friends. Of course, years later, the “Scream and Shout” singer is on top of the world again, and plans to embark on another tour.

Keke Wyatt and Ex-Husband Rahmat Morton: The R&B diva was indicted in 2002 on charges of assault and battery for stabbing her then-husband and manager Rahmat Morton with a steak knife. She has since moved on with her life–remarried and letting her life unfold in front of TVOne’s cameras on the hit reality show “R&B Divas:Atlanta.”

Lionel Richie and Brenda Richie: The singer who made the phrase “hello, is it me you’re looking for” famous was found alright–by his ex wife, Brenda Richie in the apartment of 22-year-old (lord have mercy) Diane Alexander back in 1988. Allegedly, the former Mrs. Richie broke into the apartment in the wee hours of the morning, found the lovebirds together, kicked Lionel in the stomach and then went H.A.M. sandwich on the mistress, leaving her with multiple bruises. The married couple have since been divorced, and are reportedly now the “best of friends.”

Jennifer Freeman and Earl Watson: Former “My Wife and Kids” actress Jennifer Freeman decided to allegedly take a bite out of her former husband, Earl Watson, according to TMZ back in 2010. The couple had a disagreement over a text received by Ms. Freeman, things quickly escalated to a violent scuffle, whereby Jennifer bit Earl on the wrist and chest so hard, that it drew blood. Immediately afterwards, the NBA player filed for a divorce, quickly recanted, but decided to go through with it a few months later. They have one daughter together.

Gabriel Aubry Vs. Olivier Martinez: Last year, according to reports model and father of Halle Berry’s child visited the actress’s home to drop his daughter Nahla off, and somehow ended up in fisticuffs with her current fiance, fellow actor and former boxer Olivier Martinez. And let’s just say, Mr. Aubry should leave the boxing to Money Mayweather. Afterwards, the charges were made and settled, and Halle and Olivier had time to make a baby. All’s well that ends well.

Sean Penn and Madonna: The ever-evolving singer and the outstandingly talented actor were married from 1985 to 1989–admittedly, the most volatile years of their lives. With reports of infidelity swirling, Penn would often antagonize Madonna, and have violent fits of rage. After reports that the actor left Madonna bruised, bound, and gagged in her home for two hours after an intense argument, the entertainer was finally able to escape, call the authorities, and immediately file for divorce. The two icons have gone on to see tremendous success both privately and publicly.

We all have that one uncle that we diligently hide the spirits from at all family gatherings, as aresult of his inconveniently-timed rants, disguised as walks down memory lane right? Fortunately for many for us, our families’ misgivings normally aren’t flashing headlines. On the contrary, these celebrities have not been so lucky. Take a look at some of the most dysfunctional celebrity families in Hollyweird.

The Jacksons: There is no denying that this famous musical family has been the butt of many jokes over the past several decades. From tales of brothers having relations and ultimately impregnating the same woman MORE THAN ONCE to Janet Jackson getting married secretly not once, BUT TWICE to tales of their disappearing matriarch Katherine Jackson, albeit for one day; it’s safe to say that this family keeps their therapists’ pockets quite fat. Unfortunately, the latest chapter in the neverending Jacksons saga has been a rather sad one. Famed singer Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris Jackson was recently hospitalized after an apparent suicide attempt. Currently, she is being treated for injuries caused by the attempt, and undergoing psychiatric evaluation. Let’s pray for them y’all.

The Houstons: America’s songbird left a hole in our hearts when she left this plane for a higher one back on February 11, 2012. Heartbroken and shell-shocked, her family did the only thing they could to get through their grieving process — agree to a reality show. Wait, what?! The “uncomfortable, intrusive watch” premeired in October 2012 on the Lifetime Network under the aptly titled moniker “The Houstons: On Our Own.” During the months following Whitney Houston’s death and subsequent release of the show, we heard rumors of her only daughter Bobby Khristina’s self-destructive behavior, but we had no idea that the girl’s squirm-inducing actions were going to be filmed … and exploited. The family’s less than healthy interaction with each other had us all scratching our heads in wonder of why they would agree to let cameras catch them at their most pained moments — moments including an under-aged Bobby Kristina downing cocktails, chain-smoking, detailing her slightly inappropriate relationship with her informally adoptive brother, strained relationship with her equally-troubled father Bobby Brown, and her disrespectful spats with her aunt and maternal grandmother.

The Phillips: Mackenzine Phillips, daughter of uber-famous singer John Phillips of the ’70s folk group The Mamas and the Papas made a mind-blowing confession about her family to Oprah Winfrey during an interview back in 2009. According to the “One Day at a Time” actress, she was involved in a “consensual sexual relationship” with her father. In the interview, she stated that the abuse began at the age of 18 after a drug-induced blackout occurred, where she woke up to find that she was having sex with her father. After trying to confront him about the rape brought no avail, she “consented” to the relationship–a pregnancy was the product of the relationship and was promptly aborted. Not surprisingly, her confession sparked a passionate debate among her famous family members, which include fellow member of The Mamas and The Papas and mother Michelle Phillips, who vehemently denies the claims and blames them on the fact that Mackenzie has had a “needle in her arm for 35 years.” Since the bombshell dropped, Mackenzie’s book about the ordeal, High on Arrival, was declared a bestseller and the former drug addict is reportedly working on her recovery, as well as future projects.

Hogans: Famed-wrestler Hulk Hogan put his family in the limelight when VH1 greenlit a reality show featuring the Hogans back in 2005. “Hogan Knows Best” ran for two seasons and spurned a spinoff starring the eldest daughter Brooke Hogan. This is when the proverbial shit hit the fan, and we all tuned in to watch. Around the time of the series’ premiere in the summer of 2008, Terry “Hulk” Hogan and his wife of 24 years Linda Hogan split. The divorce, which was filed unbeknownst to Terry, cited irreconcilable differences. It was later revealed that the reason behind the separation stemmed from Hulk allegedly cheating on Linda with a woman over 20 years his junior, who also happened to be his daughter Brooke’s best friend. Linda did him one better by dating her son Nick’s friend, who was 19-years-old, 40 years her junior and one year younger than Brooke. SMH. While all of this was happening, Nick was in jail for underage drinking, which led to an auto collision that caused permanent brain damage to his best friend. Hulk Hogan has since been remarried and Linda’s May-December romance fizzled out last year.

The Haileys/The DeGrates: Two sets of brothers, Cedric Hailey/Joel Hailey and Donald Degrate/Dalvin Degrate, made up the quintessential ’90s boy band Jodeci, who are arguably to blame for the conception of many of the teenager bands walking around today. The outrageously successful R&B group cranked out hit after hit for more than a decade, amassed legions of fans, and permanently etched their names in our own personal “baby-making music hall of fame.” As of late though, the southern-bred bad boys have been making quite a stir in the worst possible way imaginable. Allegations of both K-Ci and JoJo being dead-beat fathers and substance abusers have surfaced. The problems allegedly became so serious that the two talented singers took to reality television to remedy their many issues. TVOne produced their short lived series “Jodeci:Come Clean,” in which the men sought therapy and rehab for their addiction to alcohol — among other things. The Degates, which provided many of the sexy speaking parts of the songs we all know and love, have been playing with an even worse hand. The last that we heard of DeVante Swing née Donald Degrate, was when he was found on tape making the patrons of a local Subway restaurant very uncomfortable, as he was clearly high out of his mind. This came off of a series of run-ins with the law for the same reason. Rumors have swirled alluding that Mr. Dalvin has been dibbling and dabbling in substance abuse himself — which would probably explain why he launched himself off a stage and onto the ground mid-performance back in March.

The Baldwins: The Baldwin brothers were the toast of Hollywood in the ’80s and early ’90s with success in their respective roles. Yet as time crept on, they were knocked from their golden perch. “30 Rock” star Alec Baldwin‘s famous tirades made his divorce from Kim Basinger and his insanely inappropriate phone call to his daughter, in which he called her a “thoughtless pig,” front page news. Daniel Baldwin, who was deemed a has-been and has had issues with substance abuse and his weight gain, found fame again with the reality TV show “Celebrity Fit Club.” Stephen Baldwin has publicly battled drug addiction and struggled with relevancy, so he too turned to reality TV to keep his star shining bright. He has spent nearly a decade on NBC’s “Celebrity Apprentice.” However, the brothers have all managed to find some semblance of stability — they all have steady work, seemingly happy marriages, and clean noses — now.

The Knowles: I know I’m pushing it with this one but hear me out first! Our favorite naturalista Solange first gave the family a taste of “solacious-ness” with her unexpected teen pregnancy and subsequent quickie and …ahem… forced marriage/divorce from her child’s father Daniel Smith. The then-17 year old gave her secretive and seemingly squeaky clean family’s image quite a blemish. For years, the over-exposed products of patriarch Mathew Knowles, Destiny’s Child and Beyoncé, managed to avoid any drama, until recently that is. The very-married Mathew managed to land in hot water when reports of an illegitimate love child surfaced. When the paternity test proved the child was indeed his, Miss Tina swiftly filed for divorce and sent him about his merry way. This led to an obviously tense relationships between him and his golden child client Beyoncé and eventually led to her firing him as her long time manager. As of late though, it seems like the two have put their differences aside for little Blue Ivy, and of course Solo, aka Solange, has moved all the way on with a new man and a new style.

Last month, we were all inundated with the news of singer Ciara’s engagement to chart topping rapper, Future.

Along with their happy announcement of future (pun intended) wedded bliss, came the rumblings of less than flattering coverage of Future’sbaby mama drama.

The rapper has three young children (an 11, 4, and 1 year old) allegedly mothered by three different women but has managed to reconcile his differences with them–so much so, that his wife-to-be was seen on her Instagram account posing it up with two of the young women during her fiancee’s most recent ‘Would You Like a Tour?’ performance, headlined by fellow rapper Drake.

This, my friends, is how you are supposed to do it.

I have never been one to readily compliment Ciara on anything, but I have to give her the utmost kudos for her stellar maturity. She and her beau get it. Marriage is the ultimate merging of two separate lives, and all that they entail, including the messy exes.

Building a positive relationship with an open line of communication is a must not only between your future life partner, but also between the people that will always be in their life: family, best friends and even messy ‘baby mamas and daddies.’

On that note, here are five things that should be taken care of before jumping the broom:

1. If there are children involved, get to know them: This should go without saying, but Ill say it anyway, children are supposed to come before anyone else when it comes to a parent. Therefore, it would behoove you to meet the kids, and try to build a relationship before going into a marriage. Usually, one of the tests that a single parent has for their potential soul mate is whether or not their children will mesh well with them. Act accordingly.

2. If there are children involved, meet their father/mother: The person who helped create your mate’s children will forever be an extension of your life by default. That is just how it is. Take Ciara’s lead and meet them bearing a smile void of malicious intent, and look fabulous while doing it.

3. Understand your partner’s religion–and determine if you’re equally yoked:When in love, it is a given that compromises will be made about virtually everything–except whom you worship. More often than not, when there are differing religious practices in a marriage, it brings about quite a few difficulties that could have been addressed during the courting stage if the lovebirds were paying attention. Know what higher being (if any) your partner serves before agreeing to holy matrimony.

4. Meet the Parents: Granted, meeting the matriarch and/or patriarch of your boo’s life can be a nerve-wrecking experience, but it is necessary. We all have roots, some are strong and well grounded, others are rotten and easily removable. Either way, you have to investigate those roots yourself.

5. Know their financial status and work out a plan on how assets are to be allocated throughout the marriage: No one wants a scrub; especially one for a spouse. Have a serious talk, no scratch that, have a SERIES of serious talks with your mate about their current financial situation, their plans for the future and their current spending and earning habits. Please do not think that this makes you shallow. It makes you prepared.

Earlier this week, The Singer’s Room ran a story touting the headline “Keyshia Cole Recording Next Album, Themed Around the “Fight for a Good Man.”’

The upcoming project is to be a “woman’s guide to keeping a good man.” I guess. Besides the obvious eye roll that the aforementioned statement garners due to not only the well publicized romantic hardships she has had with her husbandDaniel Gibson but also because of the the fact that she has made a career of singing about perpetual heartache and “male-bashery.”

Ironically though, I can see why she would feel like she has a proverbial soapbox to stand on seeing that at the end of the day, she does still have a ring on her finger and a beautiful son to call her own. So how did she make the transition from the independent-I should’ve cheated- daughter of Frankie to Mrs.-I’s married now-Gibson? I came up with a few ideas of what themes Keyshia will include on her album, her version of “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.”

1. Be confident no matter what.

Be sure to carry yourself the same way you would a Birkin bag–with extreme care and pride. No man wants to have the tedious and impossible task of building a woman’s self-esteem. With confidence, security is ushered into the relationship, therefore, you will have no problem with–dare I utter it–submissiveness. Now hear me out! This merely means that you will have no qualms about catering to your mate, because you know that he can and WILL do the same for you.

2. Humble Yourself (a little).

There is a fine line between confidence and condescension. Be sure to treat this man how you would want to be treated. Nix the unnecessary judgement and unhelpful nagging–yes nagging. Also, know that there is no weakness in apologies. If anything, when needed, an apology strengthens the foundation of the union, and fosters a healthier environment for the both of you.

But don’t go overboard on the Humble Train. Stand your ground when you must.

3. Be supportive.

In relationships, men need support even more than we do. Lend a shoulder, ear or hand when he needs it, because a little encouragement from his love goes a long way.

4. Be sensitive to his needs: Listen. Don’t talk. Just listen.

5. Reciprocate the respect.

We all know that what Aunt Re-Re taught us was the God’s honest truth. A little respect makes a world of a difference in every aspect of life, especially in matters of the heart. Often, independent women become desensitized to certain chivalrous acts (sometimes without being cognizant of it) and we rebuff his show of appreciation–simply because we are used to being able to do for ourselves.

Take the time to think about what you desire in a loving relationship, demand respect and kindly return the favor.

Lord knows Hollyweird is full of morally-corrupt individuals who will sell most of anything for fame and fortune. This statement is especially true when it comes to entertainers who made big money performing for corrupt leaders. Take a look at some of the most notoriously infamous incidents in which an entertainer found themselves smack dab in the middle of a stage performing for some of the world’s most hated leaders.

Jennifer Lopez: By now we have become privy to the predicament Jenny from the block has found herself in as of late. Jennifer recently came under fire when she performed for Turkmenistan President Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow, a well known dictator who is routinely accused of leading one of most brutally oppressive regimes. Since the performance on June 29, Jenny’s camp released an official statement of apology on July 2, saying that J.Lo was hired by China National Petroleum Corporation to perform for local executives in Turkmenistan and “(It) was not a government-sponsored​ event or political in nature.” Of course, Jennifer made sure to wish Pres. Berdimuhamedow a happy birthday. This is not the first time the curvaceous star has found herself on the receiving end of backlash for performing for a controversial world leader.

Beyoncé: Mrs. Carter left $1 million richer after reportedly being paid to sing at a New Year’s Eve party in 2010. The host? One of Muammar Gaddafi’s sons, Muttassim Gadaffi. After being inundated with unfavorable press and complaints, Beyoncé’s camp finally released a statement over a year later claiming that the proceeds were donated to Haiti earthquake relief efforts, after the singer’s affiliates learned of the performance promoter having ties to the corrupt leader.

Mariah Carey: A year before Queen Bey performed at a Gaddafi extravaganza, Mariah received a similar payment for another New Year’s party for the Libyan dictator’s kin. The singer, however, immediately came out with a statement, and very humbly expressed her regret: “I was naive and unaware of who I was booked to perform for. I feel horrible and embarrassed to have participated in this mess. Going forward, this is a lesson for all artists to learn from. We need to be more aware and take more responsibility regardless of who books our shows. Ultimately we as artists are to be held accountable.”

Nelly Furtado: The Canadian beauty took to Twitter to voice her displeasure and ignorance of her gig for the Gaddafis. Nelly was hired for $1 million to sing a 45-minute set for Gaddafi family members at a hotel in Italy back in 2007. In a brief statement via her Twitter account, she stated that she was going to give away the payment to an undisclosed charity.

Sting: In 2009, The Police star held a concert for Gulnara Karimova, daughter of Uzbekistan’s brutal leader of the Islam Regime, Islam Karimov – the same man who has reportedly boiled his enemies alive and has had innocent citizens shot at point-blank range in the streets of his home country. The concert made many scratch their heads in confusion, since the rocker has long been an activist for equal rights, what with his tireless efforts with Amnesty International for over 30 years.

Michael Jackson: Michael spent six months in Bahrain after he was acquitted of child abuse in 2005, when he became friends with Sheikh Abdullah. During the stay, the Sheikh built Jackson a recording studio, paid him a $4.7 million advance for two albums, a stage show, and an autobiography, and gave him a $180,000 Rolls Royce. Michael ended up infringing on the agreement, resulting in a lawsuit that settled out of court with the Sheikh. This was during the time that turmoil was broiling between Saudi Arabia, Iran, and Iraq, all under the watchful eye of the leader’s family.

Kelly Rowland aired her dirty laundry when she released the aptly titled single, “Dirty Laundry,” which was produced by The Dream. The song laid all her burdens bare when she alluded to being jealous of her “sister,” best friend, and fellow Destiny’s Child member Beyoncé, as well as being the victim of an abusive relationship that would make even K.Michelle squeamish. Just like Kelly, the following six artists felt the need to let their circumstances be heard loud and clear … in rhythmic form of course and they allowed their art to imitate their lives.

Alicia Keys – “Unthinkable”

Alicia has caught all types of hell for the supposed home wrecking she displayed while in pursuit of happiness with her producer husband, Swizz Beatz. Their courtship started when the producer was still very married to singer Mashonda, who even went on to write an open letter in which she explained her efforts to keep her marriage intact and asked Ms. Keys to step aside. Welp, shortly after, Alicia sang about her difficult circumstances with her lover man in the song “Im Ready (Unthinkable),” which was penned by Drake:

“I was wondering baby
Could I make you my baby
If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy?
If you ask me I’m ready”

Never the less, Swizz and Alicia’s relationship survived — thrived even — with a beautiful son and perhaps another child on the way.

Usher/Jermaine Dupri – “Confessions Part II”

We all remember what an adorable couple R&B singer Usher and former TLC member Chillimade way back, but we never really knew why they went their sudden separate ways. We finally got our answer, sort of, in the wildly successful album Confessions, particularly in the song, “Confessions Part II.” In it, Usher sings of his foolish and lustful proclivities, causing the loss of his true love, and an unwanted baby by his unwanted side chick:

“Now this gon’ be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do.
Got me talkin’ to myself askin’ how I’m gon’ tell you
‘Bout that chick on part 1 I told ya’ll I was creepin’ with, creepin’ with.
Said she’s three months pregnant and she’s keepin’ it.”

After that, Chilli named infidelity as the reason for the couple’s breakup, and it was only a matter of time before we started searching for the aforementioned love child.

However, there were also rumors swirling that the song depicted Usher’s mentor Jermaine Dupri’s predicament with a pregnant stripper, causing his and then-girlfriend Janet Jackson‘s breakup.

Since then, Usher has been married, divorced, and supposedly in love again with his current girlfriend.

Justin Timberlake – “Cry Me a River”

In the late ’90s, our blue-eyed boyfriend (in our head) had the pop world in the palm of his hands, with chart-topping singles, fresh dance moves, and then-reigning pop queen Britney Spears as his lady.

After an abrupt breakup, with no explanation other than “we grew apart,” fans were forced to come to their own conclusions. Then, “Cry Me a River” was released:

“You don’t have to say, what you did, I already know,
I found out from him. Now there’s just no chance, for you and me,
There’ll never be. And don’t it make you sad about it?”

The Scott Storch-produced track depicted a vengeful man in love with a cheating woman; the creative visual accompaniment featured a Britney lookalike, right down to the bad hair extensions, thus causing cheating rumors to run rampant. Although the “Suit and Tie” singer denied Britney’sconnection to the thinly-veiled song at first, he later admitted it in 2012.

Since then, the talented singer has moved on to marry actress Jessica Biel.

Nas – “Goodbye (Bye Baby)”

Nasir Jones is never one to hold his tongue about the intricacies of his multi-layered life. His love life is no exception. His latest Grammy-nominated album, Life is Good, was basically a journal set to music, with tracks depicting his relationship with ex-wife Kelis from the honeymoon phase to divorce court. Besides “Daughters,” arguably, no other song was as personal as “Bye Baby”:

“Bye baby, I guess you know why I walked away.
When we walked to the altar that was an awesome day.
Did counseling, couldn’t force me to stay.
Something happens when you say I do, we go astray.
Why do we mess it up, we was friends we had it all.
Reason you don’t trust men, that was your daddy fault.”

Since the release of the long-awaited album in 2012, the pair have been spotted looking quitefriendly while co-parenting their adorable son. The rapper even went on to say in an interviewthat he wanted to make love to his ex “one more time.” OK, Nasty Nas!

Lauryn Hill – “Ex Factor”

The fiercely private singer may have had her tax troubles recently plastered all over the web, but her former relationship with fellow Fugee Wyclef Jean, who was married at the time, were subtly woven into the song “Ex Factor” years ago.

“But you’d rather make it hard.
Loving you is like a battle. And we both end up with scars.
Tell me, who I have to be? To get some reciprocity.
No one loves you more than me. And no one ever will.

Is this just a silly game.
That forces you to act this way.
Forces you to scream my name.
Then pretend that you can’t stay.
Tell me, who I have to be. To get some reciprocity.
No one loves you more than me. And no one ever will.”

Unfortunately, there wasn’t a happy ending for Lauryn and Wyclef. She hooked up with Bob Marley’s son Rohan and was left with a tribe of kids, a pile of debt, and news of Rohan’s marriage to Brazilian modelIsabeli Fontana. Womp, womp.

Marvin Gaye – “I Want You”

Upon first listen, I Want You bore a stark contrast to Marvin’s other work. The album could easily be equated to a soundtrack for the life of a man obsessed with love, lust, and sex. Around the time of its 1976 release, a married Marvin was immersed in a longtime passionate affair with the young and beautiful Janis Harper, who later became his second wife.

While his previous work could be classified as “classic doo wop, sweet and soulful,” I Want Youcan be summed up in one word: Erotic.

The album, a direct reflection of Marvin’s mental state, depicted deeply intimate occurrences of love, obsession, passion, and fear. One of the songs, “Come Live With Me Angel,” highlights Marvin’s aspirations to please his muse:

Let me explore all your treasures.
I’ll turn you on to all of those freakish pleasures.
Good experienced company.
Like me who knows all the ways
Is what you need baby.
Just you and me locked up for days.
After we eat breakfast in bed.
Turn on the music for our head.”

Janis was reportedly in the studio for the entire production of the sexy album.
After the project was released and met with mixed reviews, years passed and he went on to write a few more masterpieces, have two children with Janis, and eventually get divorced before his untimely death at the hands of his father, Marvin Gay, Sr.