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I looked around, we were all doing that, smiling & laughing at each other, young single ladies embarking on our grand adventure – leaving smoggy overcrowded earth to arrive at the place of our dreams. Arkadia, pure and unsullied, where valuable ores & ematters could be picked up at will, beautiful vegetation & friendly animals abound.

Mind you, there was still some remaining disturbances by a nasty shambling race of ugly beings called Orotans? But they were being neutralised even as we speak.

Some of us were going to take up high paying jobs as AuPairs & companions, others going as Mail Order Brides, to finally meet the rich handsome men they had been corresponding with.

We were all lucky & fortunate, because we had taken the time to organise our adventure legally, not like other young girls lured by the promises of people smugglers to a rich & rewarding lives here.

I considered myself the most fortunate of them all – I know exactly who I was going to meet.

My Darling Slack, I took out his last letter, much creased and soggy with my kisses.

He has such great dreams, but fate had time & time again cruelly ensured they came to nothing. It was never his fault.

This time things are different – I had given him the last of my money to enable him to set ourselves up here in Arkadia. We would both get a Land Grant & high paying jobs, we would be rich & be invited to the Balls & Soirees held by Arkadian high society. Slack would look so handsome & I would look so beautiful in my expensive gowns – we would be rich and envied. I would have come so far from my humble Trailer Park beginnings on Earth.

We were all warned time & again “Do Not Bring Stackables into Space” as that would attract pirates. As if I had any, I barely had the clothes I could stand up in.

Yet we were all advised to carry a kilo of dung so that if we happened to meet any Pirates, when they cried “Yaagh give us yer Shite”, we could give them that – As to why none of us had any idea, there was idle speculation that it was a cultural/religious thing – that pirates were originally made from shite & so revered it, or that they somehow just liked the taste & feel of it?? Who knows or cares.

As our ship came to a bumpy landing, and the airlocks opened we tossed our ziplock bags of shite in the disposal, picked up our meagre belongings and disembarked, skipping gladly down the gangplank with barely a glance at all the soldiers with their armour & crowd killing guns. Hurriedly hugging & kissing our goodbyes to each other & following the glowing signs to immigration. Our wonderful adventure had begun.................