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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

We've all been there: six weeks of rigorous dieting, all ruined by the sugar-paste encrusted morsels at cousin Jill's wedding. But what is today's bride to do? Is it possible to have the wedding cake of your dreams while still showing consideration to your dieting guests?

Yes, it is!

Introducing the Cake Head Diet Aid!

That's right, folks, just place the professionally decorated Cake Head Diet Aid alongside your wedding cake. It's that easy! In addition to being a delicious red velvet groom's cake, the Cake Head Diet Aid will effectively dissuade all but your most ravenous and/or non-squeamish of guests from indulging in the gut-busting baked goods. Guaranteed!

Here's what our happy customers are saying about the Cake Head Diet Aid:

"The children ran screaming - no sugar buzzed hellions at the reception! Thank you, Cake Head Diet Aid!"

"Never have I wanted to eat cake less. Just the thought of your product has kept me up nights, and I've lost over 15 pounds!"

"When my husband said the wrong name at the altar, I was ready to kill him. Slicing into the Cake Head Diet Aid, however, helped me vent enough of that murderous rage to make it to the annulment. And the jam filling - oh, that was the best part!"

As a bonus, your Cake Head Diet Aid is completely customizable! From football helmets to sunglasses, iPodearbuds to nose rings, you can make your Cake Head Diet Aid the spitting image of your husband-to-be while incorporating his favorite hobbies!

So girls, be kind to your guests waistlines while giving your guy his just desserts: order the Cake Head Diet Aid today!

UPDATE: Alright, all you PhotoShop nay-sayers: there IS such a thing as edible image printing, mkay? I also verified that this came off a professional bakery's portfolio site, so chill wit' dahatin' , yo.

Oh Cripes on Toast! That is awful, disquieting, unsettling, disgusting, eerie, ghoulish, macabre, nasty, ominous, scary, sinister, spooky, and down right icky. (Thanks thesaurus.com) But the decorator haz some mad skillz! I think this is worse than the baby cake...only because the eyes are following me around the room!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the CakeWrecks...Seriously, like most disturbing cake yet.

Worst part? The sort of forlorn expression on the guy's face. 'Oh, sure, go on, eat my head, it's just my lot in life.' It'd be like eating Eeyore, or Marvin the Paranoid Android. Though I'm not sure using a cheerful photo would have been better, actually. "Sure! Eat my head! Cool! This'll be so fun!!!"

I'm disturbed. The face on the cake looks so real, as if some guy is actually sticking his head up through the table into the helmet. It's probably one of those edible sugar sheets that you can print a picture on to.

It must be an edible image. I don't have any idea how someone would make the eyes that real, otherwise. I think edible images of people are creepy anyway, this one goes the extra mile. Why would it be so bad just to do a plain helmet. Would people not understand that it was the type of helmet that the groom wore without seeing an actual representation of his face in it? Ick.

OMG poor football head man, he's looking at all from behind his helmet cage, pleading with eyes to please not be eaten. And to have red velvet cake in there, only appropriate I guess, if you're gonna go disturbing, might as well go all the way.

I feel like I've been transported to another period in time, where decapitation is still a jusitfiable form of punishment and the King orders the head of the theif to be displayed on the table for all to see and remember!

Most of this site is just amusing beyond belief. Although--until now--you hadn't posted a cake that I wouldn't eat. I would have taken delight in carving up and munching those creepier than crap clowns a few posts ago. I'd have even nibbled at the sushi cake. But this? No freaking way.

Also, I agree with the first anonymous poster. Decorator needs a career change! STAT!

Wow. And the weird thing is, the helmet clearly looks like frosting, but the face is creepily realistic. It's like a real severed head with a frosting helmet. Kudos to the decorator. I wonder how much therapy he or she needs now as a result.

Are we sure this isn't Photoshop? If not, can the person who originally submitted this clarify what was used for the face? I'm guessing photo transfer...but that looks a little too neat to be real. --hep

I am convinced that the face is either photoshopped in or is simply an 8x10 photo trimmed to fit. That would explain the odd angle at the jawline as well as the fact that something is indeed odd about the lower left corner. (As if the whole thing were not odd enough.) The helmet is pretty neat looking though!

I have to say that the first thought that came to mind was the monkey scene from "Faces of Death," that has been forever burned into my brain after my older brother made me watch it as a kid. So this cake as a diet aid? ABSOLUTELY!!

This is one of those things where you have to ask yourself just what part of some person's brain thought this was a good idea.

And like a couple others, I can vouch for the existance of edible transfers for cakes. I've seen them used in challenges on the Food Network, on an episode or two of Ace of Cakes, and heard them referenced in the cake design/ordering segment of several wedding planning shows. They can look surprisingly clear.

I just can't imagine why anyone would think the groom's mournful face would be an appetizing image.

I just have to say this is the first time a blog has ever scared the you know what out of me. I've had this *thing* about severed heads ever since I saw The Omen when I was a kid. I don't do decapitation. Period.I swear if someone served me that I probably would have screamed and ran.Blah...I still have goosebumps after looking at it.

What I want to know is what the hell is on the cake platter behind the head? Another body part?

You know what REALLY grosses me out about this cake? Eyebrows. Man, I get totally put off by hairs in my food, but the thought of eating an eyebrow, even one made of edible ink, just...er...ummmm... 'scuse me...!

Sadly, I agree with the above poster that this blog has definitely jumped the shark. This is so boviously photoshopped.

Yes, there are such things as edible printed images, but if you look at the edges of the "image" they don't line up properly with the planes of the cake. Also, if you look at the nostrils, you can definitely tell something is up.

Just because it is decent photoshop, doesn't change the fact that it is still photoshop.

Now hang on - there's no way that's not a real head. His eyes are glinting in the camera flash! It's got to be one of those pranks where somebody sits under the table and sticks his head up through a hole. Maybe the cake decorator posted the photo to show that she could even ice real heads?

but i can't believe all of you who are making such rude comments to our blog owner. she has proven herself already by researching as much as she can about each cake post so we have no reason to believe that she has done any less with THIS one. take thumper's advice...and if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all :)

We would not find it hard to believe that someone could paint a sculpted piece of clay to look like this, so why is is so unbelievable that someone brushed edible ink onto fondant laid onto a well-sculpted cake? The "glint" in the eyes could easily be a bit of white paint. The cartoon characters on the back of my cereal box have a "glint" in their eyes, but I'm pretty sure there isn't an actual cartoon character sticking his head through the box.

Wow! And Wow! That looks so realistic that it's creepy. Hats off to the decorator for the real life head....thing, but to eat a piece of it? I don't know, it's just too weird. Why would someone commission something so not edible? Oh, I forgot. It's the DIET cake. You are so hilarious!!(Maybe photoshop ought to have some regulations- no using it on cakes! The public gross out factor is enough reason.

Like someone said in an earlier comment. It is amazing how many people do not actually read the other comments or even your notes at the bottom of the blog.

http://www.photofrost.com/

The above link is for the Photo Frost which allowed you to print a photograph onto an edible surface to use in cake decorating. The cake designer took the picture, placed it at the side of the cake, and sculpted the icing for the helmet around the photo to make it looks like he was wearing the helmet.

Keep up the great work with the blog and don't get the others get you down. I hate when people try to tell blogger how or what they should blog. It is your blog and you can blog as you wish with it.

That's seriously creepy and tasteless (ha). Am I the only person more interested in the apparently skunk-like object in the background? A previous poster called it a possible "skunk bum cake". Glad I wasn't at this wedding. What the heck was the theme? Redneck fantasy?

I love your blog and appreciate the fact that you take your personal time to find ways to make us laugh. If people don't like it, well, they could quit paying you- oh wait, they don't pay you!(you don't have to publish this, i just wanted to encourage you!)

first off, does anybody rememer the sculpted baby with the eye looking at you? there was a video of it being made. i would never have believe that such a realistic cake could be real. but, it was. so why can't this one be real? (yes, i thought head sticking through table too at first) but, wouldn't it have been better to use grey cake with red filling ....so much more realistic... ewwwwwwww!

I'm always impressed with the research that goes into these posts to verify their authenticity. And, frankly, even if they WEREN'T researched, who cares? It's her blog! And the cakes are funny! We're just here for the entertainment value. It's not prime time TV! Unhappy Neilsen families should go watch something else.

Makes me wonder: if you cut it up, will you find some kind of "sweet chestnut spaghetti"-type brain inside? Note to all the Salome commenters: According to a couple of archaeologists I know John the Baptist in all likelihood did not wear football gear.

This is the place I come for laughs...serious belly shaking laughs. Thank you!

I LOVE your blog (thus the reason for the comment - I've left an "I love your blog" link to you from mine, since you've got my friends laughing now too...)

Oh - I did one of these "rice paper" photos once when they were first offered at my local bakery back in early 2000 - it was disturbing to slice through the family...but not NEARLY this disturbing... Not RED VELVET disturbing...

I saw a pool table cake, a fish cake (now that's a contender for this blog),and a couple of nice to huh (?) cakes, but nope not a grooms head cake to be found.So if it exists,And sooo many people think it does and who really cares it's still funny though,It's not at sweetcreationsbysharon.comas far as I could see.But hey, jen should definitly show the fish cake next.Fondant Guy are you with me on that one? Come on write in vote with me.

P.SI've never sd that I've haven't enjoyed this blog. I would'nt have put it on my blog as one of the blogs I follow if I did. Via Va la Jen! Via Va, Via Va!

I must be getting old because I have no idea what the "shark" comments are about. But from the context, you are clearly insulting our wonderful Jen, and I don't appreciate it. We come here for a laugh, not to read about how you are too closed minded to accept that a phototransfer might look photoshopped. The point of Jen's post is that this is a wrecktastic concept! Even if it is too well executed, and therefore hard to believe. Get a sense of humor people!! We come here to laugh. Not to listen to you complain about Jen's choices!

Nathalie - if clueuin's browser was acting like mine, the "Next" button is hard to find. That site's HTML is kind of messed up. I only found the Next button because you said it was there, so I tabbed around through the hotlinks on the page. If you don't do that, it's invisible and unreachable off the bottom of the screen.

Anonymous (Alex), or anyone else wondering about the "shark": check jumptheshark.com. Briefly, "jumping the shark" refers to the moment when a TV show has something so absurd that you realize it has passed its peak and it's all downhill from here. Named after an incident on Happy Days when Fonzie actually jumped a shark (I think while waterskiing).

Oh, and whoever said "skunk bum cake": I was enjoying that part up to now, because it just looked like good dark chocolate cake with either white cake or a super thick layer of filling or frosting in between. Plus it was better than looking at scary head cake. But now I can't see it without thinking "skunk bum." So thanks a WHOLE bunch. ;) Though I guess skunk bum is still probably better than looking at scary head cake.

The process for putting a photo transfer onto the cake did not properly capture the warm glow of a living face. It is creepy because it looks like a drained of blood decapitated head rather than just a cake that looks too much like a living person's ruddy head.

Couldn't the customer have come up with a better picture? Could have at least been a bad picture of him making a nice face, instead it is a decent quality photo of a "Life sucks" face. Or maybe that is just what he wanted on a football helmet cake at his weddig reception: "Life as I knew it is over. Waaah". Other than that, I would be delighted to participate in the amusement of hacking into this head, just like on the 1007 crime dramas we are bombarded with every night ( the only kind of tv show anymore besides "reality" shows'). We see so much stabing and gore on tv, what fun it would be to DO IT!!! And have all the lovely red velvet innards gush out! I am cracking myself up I am so deranged. Better than the prospect of cutting into the perfect baby cakes or the twin towers. THOSE would be macabre. Chopping this guy up would be fun and funny.

Another thought: Set up a motion sensor. Every time you go near it with a knife the head barks "Don't do it!" "I'll get you for this!" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" "It wasn't my fault!" "I wasn't even there!", or growls menacingly "I'll haunt you for the rest of your days, you will never sleep peacefully again!".

I went to a funeral for a priest who was in a particularly gruesome car wreck but they had an open casket anyway, I remember thinking how he looked like he was made of wax, but really, that is what he looked like!

Wow - what a creepy cake - cover the head with red piping gel to remind Halloween revelers about their appearances and health!

The Cake Head Diet Head can be custom-made for kids' birthday parties! Just ask the decorator to fashion it into the heads of 215 pound Connor McCreaddie, 420-pound Jessica Leonard, or 555 pound Alexander Draper! Serve that at your child's next birthday party and watch the childhood obesity rates plunge right before your eyes - amazing! It can be customized for Christmas time to help your guests stick to their New Year's resolutions!

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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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