1618 Go Ahead and Get Mad!

Today we’re talking about why it’s perfectly OK for you to go ahead and get mad – at yourself, at other people, at the world, at the Universe at large.

When you’re in my line of work, and what you do is focused to a large extent on positivity and mindset and such, one of the questions that sometimes crops up is “How the heck are you so freaking happy all the time?”

People sometimes assume that anyone who is so focused on this stuff has never dealt with real suffering or hardship, because otherwise, they wouldn’t be so gosh-darned positive.

Everyone gets angry

It’s all based of course on this mistaken belief that people sometimes have that people who are in my line of work are ALWAYS happy and positive. Which is just not true.

So I’m going to put this out there right now and say point blank that despite all the optimistic, positivity-focused, motivational, inspirational stuff that I do on my blog and in my books, I’m NOT always happy and positive. Like anyone else, I get mad, and I get upset, and I get sad, and sometimes I get downright unpleasant to be around at all. Just like anyone else.

It’s OK to be angry

But you know what? That’s OK. It’s OK when we get mad. It’s OK when any of us have those “moments” or those just plain bad days. They happen to all of us, and it’s OK.

And here’s why: as I’ve said before, emotions, in and of themselves, are never good or bad, right or wrong. Emotions are feedback. They’re part of a built-in guidance system that you were born with. And what they do best is let you know where your current alignment or energetic state happens to be focused.

The more you’re feeling what we like to think of as “positive emotions”, the better aligned you are with what you want in life and the higher your vibrational or energetic state happens to be. Likewise, the more you’re feeling what we like to think of as “negative emotions”, the less aligned you are with what you want in life, and the lower your vibrational or energetic state.

What anger is

Your feelings are your signal markers, letting you know what’s currently going on inside of you.

When you’re feeling angry, it’s a signal to you that your alignment has slipped and you’ve dropped into a lower vibrational mode.

Nothing in the world is as soft and yielding as water. Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible, nothing can surpass it. ~Tao Te Ching #78

But wait a minute, you’re saying – I just told you that it’s OK to get mad. But if angry shifts you out of your alignment, then how the hell can it be OK? Shouldn’t you be doing everything you can in order to stop being angry and start seeing bluebirds and unicorns right away?

What you resist, persists

Remember that central Law of Attraction tenet: What we resist persists. And the corollary to that: What we focus on increases.

This means that if you try to resist being angry, then you’re actually going to work against yourself. What’s going to happen is that the anger will build. It will draw in resentment. And it will build into fury and rage. And you’re going to get stuck in it. And it will eventually drop you even further down into helplessness and depression.

Feel it… and let it go

Far better it is to let yourself feel the anger. To express is safely (without hurting yourself or others) and to let it flow through you so that you can get rid of it and work your way back to a better-feeling emotion and shift yourself back into alignment with what you want.

Sometimes bad things happen in life. Sometimes really bad things happen in life. And when you’re dealing with something like that, trying to pretend that everything is OK, and that you’re looking on the bright side and grasping for the silver lining in the situation is not only unhelpful, it is harmful. And it won’t work.

Fighting your feelings won’t work

When you’re feeling angry or devastated or victimized, telling yourself that you’re not working hard enough to be positive and stay optimistic is just about the worst thing that you can do to yourself. And trying to force yourself to “just feel better” when you just don’t will only prolong the time that you spend in this horrible-feeling state.

Let yourself feel whatever “negative” emotion it is that is flooding through you. Let it wash over you. Let yourself rage and curse at the Universe for allowing this to happen to you. Call it names. Write a furious, blistering letter filled with everything it is that you are feeling.

Let it all out. Just hand it all over to the Universe.

Because the Universe can handle it.

It’s OK to vent to the Universe

Whatever you want to call it – God/Source/Spirit/Universe, whatever – the consciousness that is everything, All That Is – it is capable of catching everything you’re feeling and channeling it into something better.

You are loved so much that you are forgiven before you even start shouting or writing. The Universe understands you, and is always there for you, even when you need to vent.

So get it out and feel whatever it is that you need to feel.

When the anger runs its course

And when it’s done, you’re going to be exhausted. And you’ll feel a void, or numbness, within. Let yourself rest and recover.

You will discover a calmness in you that wasn’t there before. And this is when you will know that it’s time to move on. To find ways of coping that will help you shift yourself back up the emotional scale and out of the anger.

Moving back up the scale

You could run, or dance, or do some kind of physical activity that helps your mind and body reset itself. You could spend some time in your favourite outdoor space and reconnect with Nature and the heartbeat of the planet. You could listen to some vibe-shifting music and find your centre again.

You could take some time to sit in silence and reconnect with your own soul; to listen for the inner guidance that never stops whispering its wisdom into your heart.

The nature of emotions

Emotions flow like a river and shift like the sky; always changing and never still.

When you can understand and accept this, you realize that you don’t need to fear your “negative” emotions. They are a part of you and always will be. That’s just part and parcel of being human.

But they change. Even the ones that are hardest to deal with. And they all have a place and a purpose.

See your emotions for what they are and let yourself feel them. Just don’t get stuck in the ones you don’t want by trying to fight them, and don’t push yourself away from the ones that you do want by trying to grab onto them too tightly (remember, it is in the nature of all emotions to constantly ripple and change).