I wish I knew more than I did when I decided to take my life after many years of battling depression. Yes, I died from asphyxiation. A lot of people do not seem to understand why I did it because nobody gets it…I was only 22, a popular blogger who was already making such impact on people and teaching them the most important lesson in this world; self-love. Karyn Washington was the name on the lips of many bloggers in the blogosphere, especially in the black community. I loved myself, I really did but…the battle with depression…this terrifying mental illness that makes you feel locked up…caged in your mind made me see life very differently…no matter how hard I tried.

My reality was only what my mind told me. I wish I knew…I wish I understood fully what I was going through. I didn’t think I needed help…I didn’t think I needed medical attention. Besides, I thought I wasn’t sick. Why would I need a doctor if I am sad. I threw all the potential joy, fulfillment, love and blessing that was yet to come my way for nothing. I didn’t understand my depression…all I knew was my mum was dead and that was the end of my chapter too. Only if someone was there and someone could talk about it. Only if someone could speak up! I did not even give thought to what there could be after death…

My story

Karyn Washington is probably thinking this right now or thought of this few minutes before she passed away. We are still making the same mistakes by not talking about it…we are still killing more people. We are still being concerned about worthless things and forgetting what really matters; LOVE.

I have suffered depression before but I cannot begin to imagine how it feels like waking up every day and being depressed…not wanting to live anymore. A very close friend who suffers from S.A.D has been my inspiration for delving into issues relating to mental illness for a few months now. He inspired me to write the best novel ever; The Brainy Retard. He is the warmest person on the planet and I love him. Our ignorance of mental illness is the reason for the stigma. If only we took the time to learn more about this, we could help others understand, ourselves and realize that we are no different from anybody who’s facing any type of mental illness at all. Because one of the most difficult things, is to accept that you cannot help someone whom you love when he is suffering right before your eyes.

Suicides seem to skyrocket each passing day all around the globe. Developing countries suffer the most from suicides so it is expected that poverty is the reason for the high rates of suicides in these parts of the world.Happiness is directly related to how much money we make. We’ve known that for a while. So it shouldn’t be surprising that our earnings also correlate with suicide rates. Sadly, that is not true at all. It will surprise you to know, that the top ten reasons why people, including those in the developing countries, kill themselves does not include poverty at all. Developing countries are hardly vocal about issues such as this and THAT could be the biggest cause for the increase in suicides.

A new paper from the San Francisco Federal Reserve shows that, all else being equal, suicide risks are higher in wealthier neighborhoods, a morbid demonstration of the folly of trying to “keep up with the Joneses.” According to Psychological research journal 2005, suicides are higher in wealthier neighbourhoods when minority in that community earns a vastly lower income. This relatively reduces the possiblity of money being the direct cause of the high suicides in developing countries.

Mental Illness is the main cause for suicides all around the world. In West Africa and many parts of the world, people know little about mental illness and are surprisingly not willing to explore this deficiency. Some time ago I wrote an article entitled, “Mental illnesses you may ignorantly have”. I paid facebook to promote it in Ghana so that people out of sheer curiosity would read it and learn. However, after many days of this advertisement, I realized that people in Ghana did not seem to care about thier mental health.

This ignorance relating to mental health is massive and we need to eradicate it. ‘When your mind tells you that nobody loves you and that you are not worth it, know there and then that it is a lie because someone whom you might not know or even seen before cares enough to do something about it. As I said in the video, hold your breath for as long as you can, and when your will breaks free gasping for breath…gasping for life and a chance, believe your will and not your mind.

The least you can do is to share this post to as many social media platforms as possible. Thank you.

TOP 10 CAUSES OF SUICIDE

1. Mental illness

2. Traumatic Experience

3. Bullying

4. Personality Disorders

5. Drug Addiction / Substance Abuse

6. Eating Disorders

7. Unemployment

8. Social Isolation / Loneliness

9. Relationship problems

10. Genetics / Family History

Okay, so I uploaded this video on my facebook page less than a week ago. This is not the first time I am talking about Human trafficking. You can check it out by clicking here. In that post, you will realise that people are trafficked into many other nations to act pornographic movies. Men also fall victim of this, as a man called Sunday Bekunde shared his story.

The first woman in this video is a graduate; Sunday Bekunde is also a student. Others were gainfully employed but ended up in this situation.

Do not trust ‘connection men’ as they are AFFECTIONATELY called in Ghana and Nigeria. If you are not travelling the right way, then you are probably not going to live the right way abroad. So please if you weave rasta in Ghana, weave it harder till you get money to travel, I beg.

The graduates, I understand how tough it is to get a job in many parts of Africa but there is ALWAYS something to do. Think outside the box, sitting in someone’s office and building someone else’s dream is not the AFRICAN DREAM. While you search for the right job, you can try to build your own. Build your own dream…build something for yourself so that you can also hire people to help build yours.

You are only 23 years old or 28 years old and you are already looking to settle for a life of a 50years old man. Biko!

This is not the time to settle for someone’s dream. While you search, take risks, build the business you want to build, sing the song you want to sing, write the book you want to write, invest in your dream. This is the time of your life that you can afford to dream..

Now, social media has become such a powerful tool to do anything. If you have a talent, don’t be afraid to put it on display. If people love it, that is your break through!

Your dream is not in a place…your dream is not in someone…YOUR dream is in YOU. Be it!

The question, ” Does God Really Exist? ” has been on the lips and minds of human beings for centuries. Whether or not we have come to an answer still remains a mystery. As human as we are, it is hard for us to believe something especially when we cannot see it. Belief has always been associated with the intangible; hence, the believe in God will always be a mystery for many. There is hardly an answer that will be satisfactory enough to the whole world but there can only be an experience, a reason and a story…

Do I believe that God exist? I can only tell from my experience…click the video(awesomerichy.tv) below to watch as I share mine.

He was virtually invisible throughout high school, you know? High school was for the cool and it gave no room for losers. Apenteng seemed okay with his invisibility which I found awkward because its either you want to be cool or you cant. He cared less about the Kasper shirts and altered trousers that was in vogue in High school. Apenteng stuck to the school uniform which was so uncool and everybody hated it.

Walking alone was impossible in High school but Apenteng proved us wrong each time we went on break. Oh, he sometimes walked to the cafeteria with the new “ugly” girl that just transferred to the school and most often the “fat” girl he was never able to ask out;…oh and he had a bunch of uncool friends too; uncool friends who sometimes kept their distance for fear of being DOUBLE uncool. Hehe such losers! Apenteng was the epitome for disaster and an infection of being uncool in High school nobody wanted to catch.

We loved sports! Sports players were like gods in High school. Apenteng is definitely an oxymoron to sports. He hated it and never turned up for games nor sports tutoring sessions of any kind. “Doesn’t this guy want to be cool at all?” we wondered. He would rather stay in class or hide in the music classroom to write…..to write stupid stories and articles nobody read.

The cool guys spoke the language that sent chills down the spine of ladies, it simply gave off cool vibes; pidgin as it’s called is adulterated english…Africanized english you may call it. It has the worst form of litotes and inversion ever to be uttered in the name of english. Students itched to say sentences like,” This guy be jon waaa” which means “This guy is a loser” also sentences like,” This guy no chop woman before” vulgarly means, “This guy has never had sex before(virgin)” which was often teasingly said to Apenteng. Trust me, it was cool to be able to say sentences like that and saying them in pidgin meant you were soooo cool. Apenteng stuck with the normal english language which was so uncool.such a girl

Apenteng was bullied all the time by other students including his mates; even when he had juniors, they hated him. Why? Because he is Apenteng. He was too skinny to defend himself and his glasses were too thick to risk breaking. Everyone treated Apenteng like crap…it is simply what everybody did. Apenteng would never enter a class during class or prep hours because he knew what would befall him; he would be teased filling the class with an uproar, “BO-HOO”. He hardly smiled, said little and moved about less.

Nobody really paid attention to him which was in fact what he wanted, he was simply a high school experience for us. It was a daily phenomenon for Apenteng to come back from break to see an inscription pasted on his table like, “ HELP! I am nasty!” “Help! I am smelly”. He would only tear the inscription off his table and sit down without looking back which was usually followed by a teasing laughter by the cool dudes and cool ‘wanna-be’s.

Lest I forget, Apenteng was in the band. It may sound cool to you but it was only a group of Bible thumpers who loved to sing; just another set of losers I may add. Although we enjoyed their performances because of the beautiful girls that led the group, we still made fun of him anyways.

This was all I saw and felt about Apenteng then…. But now, I know that Apenteng is one of the strongest and bravest people to ever walk on the surface of the earth. In the face of Apenteng’s personal and family issues like his father’s admission at the hospital for kidney failure, his own health issues and his inner struggles and inferiority complex, he remained whom he was and was not willing to conform to the ideas people thought was ‘THE LIFE’. Apenteng would pray every night not always sure what he wanted from God. I am still amazed at Apenteng’s strength today when I look back. I was the only one that paid attention to Apenteng because Apenteng was me; this is my story.

It does not matter whom the world wants you to be. You are awesome, if you stay true to whom you are against all odds. That’s the bravest thing! I applaud those who have similar stories to share.

For those who are still experiencing these, I want you to know that you will come out stronger and much better than you were. Want to know why there are bullies? I rumbled about this in another post called “use a good mirror”

I stood in front of the mirror gasping in fear of what I just realized; a bulging throat just like Mr. Quartey had described last week in class. The only thing that rung in my grade six ears were,” I have goiter!” “Goiter is an enormous bulging of the thyroid which is found in the neck area”, Mr. Quartey, our grade six teacher explained. I was so sure I was having this disease. So worried and scared, I kept telling my mum about this horrendous disease I had gotten.

My mother kept telling me there was no chance I could contract that disease because it is only caused by a deficiency of iodine and I had a lot of that in my diet. There was a house my parents marked as a ‘No-go area’ for my siblings and me. We were prohibited from going to that house because the family that lived in the house were cunning, evil and dangerous. Although I was scared at the stern faces the couple in that house put on whenever I saw them, their son was the very opposite. Their son was lively, cheery and seemingly friendly from a distance, he was about my age and I wasn’t afraid of him at all.

On a sunny afternoon, I sat under a tree on our street as I played games on my Gameboy advance which I held tight without a brow raised. I felt a tap on my shoulder, ” What game are you playing?”, an excited voice asked. When I looked up, it was the boy from the prohibited neighbor’s house. He introduced himself as George and we had a very lengthy chat about games.

He invited me over to his house to play some of the games he spoke about which he had on his computer. I REALLY wanted to go but I could not help but think about the warning my parents had given me about that family. I said to myself,” He is cool. My parents might be wrong about the family after all”. Besides, I really wanted to see the games.

Moments later, I found myself drooling as I anxiously moved my hands over my new friends keyboard playing these games I had just discovered. Yep! I had gone against my parents warning and I was in that house. Soon, we were so famished after hours of playing the games. Apparently, it was also time for dinner when George was called to the table. I sat in his room and stared at him hesitantly.

He run to his door and called,” Come on, let us go. It’s dinner time!” All I could think of was the rumor about the poisoned child in the neighborhood, he was alleged to have been poisoned when he visited the house. I was horrified, I didn’t want to be the next victim. I sat at the dining table with my new friend as his mother served us with a face I hoped I would not see; It was stern as ever.

She served me too and said,” Enjoy boys!” as she walked out of the room. My stomach wouldn’t stop growling, my friend wouldn’t stop smiling at me as he ate, the aroma of the food only lured me to take a bite. By the time I realized, I was swallowing the last morsel of the banku and okro stew we were served.

I was very satisfied but fear was all I felt growling in my belly then. As we sat at the living room chatting, I felt drowsy….really drowsy. Almost beyond my control, I just could not stay awake so I thought to myself,” The poison is taking effect. I have to report to my parents. Otherwise, I will die here!” . I quickly stood up running out of the house,” I have to go!”, was all I said to George as I left. “I have been poisoned mum!”, I kept calling out to my mother as I laid on the floor crying. Alarmed, she held me tight picked up her phone and repeatedly asked,” What happened!”. Upon saying, ” I ate at the no-go area’s house”. Her anxiety drastically reduced when she asked,” what happened” the last time.

I sat down and told her that I was poisoned from eating with George at his house. She laughed so hard with tears in her eyes. That laughter although was teasing meant the world to me because I was literally relieved. I did not even feel drowsy anymore, she walked me to my room and after seconds of watching television, I slept off. Now, when I think about it, I realize that i was only tired from the hours of playing the video games and eating a lot after that, was just the recipe for a good sleep which I could not resist. I thought I had goiter but all was developing was an Adam’s apple. I bet you have instances in your life where you felt a strong intuition of your fear coming into reality.

Do you have that belief so strong that it makes you see the signs everywhere, so strong that you could bet your life on it? If we can believe in things so strongly that it changes the entire chemistry and biology of our bodies and minds, then we can choose to believe in positive things that will change our bodies and minds as well. Direct that power of belief; your mind power towards the right direction and you can be all that you want to be!

It has been a while since I last posted anything. I was running dry of inspiration. Considering the turbulent economy, lack of power and my busy schedule in school;working on a project, writing has become like plucking a strand of hair from my nostrils lately (OUCH!). Well, a wonderful thing happened to me in the midst of all this; I had an email from a visitor of my blog. Sharing her story reminded me of the main reason why i started this blog in the first place; being the voice that tells the truth no matter how silenced it may be. I am glad she trusts me to give her truthful answers.

Her main question was, “Does he love me?” This is a question that runs through the mind of a lot of girls. You sometimes wonder if your boyfriend, husband or just any guy is inlove with you. The context of love is extremely dicey and complicated especially when it is taken from an African’s perspective. I believe Africans know what it means to be in love but what we don’t know is what it means to say it. People all around the world, usually confuses sexual attraction with love. Therefore in Africa, we find people say,” I love you” the first day they set eyes on a girl. This makes it even more difficult to know if someone is really in love with you. I made few ramblings of this in my blog post, THE HEAVIEST THREE WORDS ON THE LIPS OF AN AFRICAN and LOVE IS OVERRATED.

For a lady to know whether a man truly loves her, she needs to understand ‘THE SEX WIRE OF GUYS’ because the fact is many men are either deceived by sex or they become deceptive because of sex. Either way, sex is the deceiver. Let me give you few tips to this truth;

1. Time does not mean love. The guy may stick around for years but that is NOT reason enough to say he loves you. “I know he loves me because he is always around”. Sex can also be a good reason enough for a man to stick around that long. Unless of course he has forsaken every opportunity to be with anyone else. Fact is, usually if a man sticks around that long he is usually playing around with someone else. Don’t trip!

2. Where does he often invite you to?. If the only place a guy likes to invite you to is his house, the likelihood of it being true love is thin. Count the number of times he only wants to have your company and the number of times he wants to have sex with you. It could be confusing for you…but it is definitely more confusing for him. Try to draw the line between the two. How interested is he in knowing about you. Listening to you just to have a glimpse of who you really are. If he still knows little about you over the years…hmmm

Love is patient, love is kind, love is…..blah blah blah. The most important part of, ” I LOVE YOU” is “YOU”. Love is an affection towards you. Love cant be because you are of convenience, not because you are a tool to show off, not because of what you can offer but it is because you are YOU.

Being YOU includes your appearance, your laughter even if its wierd like mine, and even when you being silly…everything YOU is what love is about.

We have all been fed with the notion,” Knowledge is power!”. We have therefore grown prying, snooping and doing all things possible to acquire the knowledge requisite for our nourishment. We believe the broader our knowledge, the better we are as individuals.

However, have you ever wondered how your life would be if you didn’t know about certain things you know now? Do you consider people in remote areas with little knowledge about the world to be any less happier than you are?. Ironically, when you visit remote areas where there are no schools and avenues to acquire knowledge, you realize they are happy people; happier than a lot of Professors, magistrates and doctors around the world.

A mad man is able to walk on the streets and smile; In fact burst into laughter every now and then because he has no knowledge of his situation. Isn’t the half naked insane person happier than a lot of men and women who bypass him to work everyday in suits? Atleast the insane affords to smile as he walks.

Knowledge has a way of stealing ones innocence. A happy couple breaks apart when KNOWLEDGE of infertility or infidelity comes to light. A person glows with respect and confidence until KNOWLEDGE of his filthy past is unraveled. You sleep and eat well until you are told you are about to die; that is when you actually die.

The educated person who is aware of hygiene tends to get sick more often than people in the villages with no aorta of knowledge on hygiene. Have you ever wondered why mad people roaming the streets in Africa always seem healthy and happy?

Joy is the main element of a good life. Would you not rather live doing something you love that makes you happy than prying into matters that may end up destroying you?. Gossips spend their time prying into peoples lives to bring news that may cause unrest amongst people that hear it. Journalist find news that makes us live in fear while there may be no cause to.

Hi guys, its been a while since I last posted. This is due to quite a number of reasons. But the biggest of them all was that I was caught up in thoughts for days about the complexity of life and the world as a whole.

It had been a while since I last heard from Jim Kazynski; one of my earliest fans and subscribers who loved my work and would like and comment on every new post. For a while now, I knew that Jim Kazynski had been ill. So not hearing from him after quite a number of posts worried me. I therefore sent him a mail one morning to find out how he was doing. In the afternoon when I visited Facebook, I saw an update that he had died. He was such a fresh and pure spirit that never took life for granted. He was always thankful and saw the positive side of life even on bad days when he could not walk. The great thing about Jim is when he gets the strength, he never took it for granted; he was so optimistic. Am glad he made the best of life.

However, his death got me thinking about life. One minute someone is around and the next he is gone…. I just finished watching a movie called ‘The fault in our stars’. It was such a sad story about two young love birds in love who lived with cancer…a cancer they had by no fault of theirs. Death stole their first and only chance to be in love. That movie reminded me of ‘letter to God’ which simply brought me to tears as i watched a little boy struggle with cancer yet had such an optimistic view of life. He affected so many lives around him so positively till his very last breath. Mind you, I am not a crier. I only cried when I saw the most detested statement ever written at the end of a sad story, ‘inspired by a true story’. Although I could not hold it somewhere in the middle of the movie. It was too SAD!

I heard a story of a woman who saved her virginity for her future husband but ended up being infected with AIDS by her ‘future husband’ and then dies. A promiscuous person may enjoy life to the fullest and sometimes gets the opportunity to change and make the best of life.When you think about it…life is such a strange place that should be qualified with all the bad adjectives in the world; Cruel, scary and unfair ….

One thing I know is that life is driven by a supreme power and force that is greater than all of us. People believe in chances, opportunities and luck but I believe in purpose and destiny. This life is scripted and directed by that supreme force; God and we are only actors designed to play a role. God always seeks to tell a positive story to the audience that watches. The story can only be told his way if we stop and pay attention to the director; God. He makes good out of every bad if you listen to the director of this movie called life. It is never too late to pay attention to the director to turn your story around. You can always be nominated for the Grammys of life; simply listen to the director.

A fact is that the most important ingredient in life is HOPE. It is funny how we are able to maintain a smile and move on despite our pain, our hurt and the HUGE inevitable, DEATH. We all know we are going to die someday but we still move on because there is HOPE to make the best of life whilst we live. People give up in life and even commit suicide when they lose that very important ingredient; HOPE. We choose to have hope in so many things but the truth is, everything can fail but God. Hope in him is limitless, it can not be restricted…. that is the hope we all need in a world such as this. We need HOPE that never wavers to make it in this life.