Flying by the Seat of My Pants

To Catch a Thief

In the life of every parent, regardless of age, gender, socio-economic status or political beliefs, there comes the first of many moments which define you beyond the mere biology which has led you to a point non plus. When is it acceptable, nay encouraged, to reward or celebrate bad behavior? This is the cross-road at which I found myself this morning.

Nik and I had a very busy morning today. We woke before dawn —Nik’s bedtime dose of Advil having worn off around 4:30 a.m. —to greet the day with squeals and cries of delight (his, not mine) interspersed with sporadic head banging (mostly Nik). After a spot of breakfast, we packed up our gear and headed off to our morning workouts. Nik’s first —an hour spent in the delightful company of Miss D and Miss T for both OT and PT —followed by my session with my trainer at the Y.

Nik was in fine form this morning. Happy and highly interactive, he greeted Miss D with a big smile then promptly giggled and ran across the room; it’s a delightful new game he’s begun to play, called “Catch me if you can.” The adventures continued through the dual session as Nik independently climbed up the ladder (!!) to the platform above the slide and ball pit. The first time around he waited for Miss D to hold his hands and then he jumped into the ball pit.

The next time through he waited for Miss T to encourage him to do it again —then veered at the last second to slide head first down the sliding board. It is a hoot to watch; Nik points one toe straight out behind him and flexes the other foot to rub the toes along the inside of the slide as a tension-type braking mechanism. All the while he holds onto the outside of the slide with his hands. The result is a perfectly controlled, danger-free sensory delight!

Now, you may be wondering where the bad behavior comes in to play, yes? Apparently, it only happens when Mommy’s not around!

Energized and feeling fine (God bless the wonders of Advil and Tylenol to control the persistent pain and inflammation Nik is still experiencing in his right ear —but it’s not an ear infection!), we took off for the Y. Nik has been doing really well in the child care area as I work out. He pretty much keeps to himself —finding familiar toys with which to entertain himself between bouts of tipping over chairs and laughing hysterically. (Side note, the last time he did this he actually then picked the chairs back up! Progress.) I left Nik in the care of the staff and a very busy group of children. I’m not even certain Nik noticed my departure. Sigh…

Fast forward an hour. Sweaty Mommy comes to get Nik so we can go home. The supervisor begins to tell me how Nik’s been for the past hour; she knows he has autism and other delays and she’s always quick to point out when he’s either having a rough day or doing something really cool. She tells me, “Oh, he’s been having a grand old time exploring the underside of the furniture, tipping the chairs, playing with toys…and stealing snacks from other kids!”

REWIND!!…Did she say stealing snacks? From otherkids? She must not know who my child is. My happy loner who doesn’t eat a morsel of food by mouth. Obviously, she’s got him confused with some other cute little boy, right? My face must have said it all. She laughed and said, “Yes, Nik was stealing snacks. He stood and watched the other kids and, when they’d look away, he snuck right in and grabbed some off the table.” Apparently, he even made an attempt —lip service if you will —at eating one. Once he realized it was actual food and not a toy, he spit it out immediately. Apparently, licking food is OK, eating it is another matter entirely.

First I laughed at the “(mostly Nik)” comment. Then, I laughed at the shock of Nik stealing snacks. I remember, at church, when they first started telling me that he was busy hugging the kids. I was like, What? My kid, who absolutely ignores any overture of engagement from another child?! Isn’t it funny how they grow and progress? Hooray for Nik, stealing snacks. He fits right in with every other 3 year old! Before you know it, he’ll be yelling “Mine!” :-)

Woohoo! I always laugh at those leaps of development that involve sometimes inappropriate but definately “normal” behaviour. I could give many examples, but my favorite is when Patrick lied bold faced to me for the first time…blaming his brother for a mess he made. *grin*