Small Acts of Kindness

Cardinal Joseph Bernardin, in his outstanding book, The Gift of Peace, wrote, “The things people are naturally attracted to and remember most are small acts of concern and thoughtfulness. Years later, that is what they tell you about their priests and other clergy.”

Saint Theresa, the Little Flower, wrote in Story of a Soul, “A word, an amiable smile, often suffice to make a sad soul bloom.”

Poet Maya Angelau summed it up when she wrote, ”I’ve learned that people forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Father John Welch, a Carmelite priest, wrote about a man who received hospitality from others at a critical time in his life. The man said, “Always show more kindness than seems necessary because the person receiving it needs it more than you will ever know.”

The above quotes were referenced in an article written by Father John Welch titled, “Small Acts of Kindness” in the March edition of the Diocese of Joliet magazine, Christ is Our Hope.

I think these small acts of kindness are something leaders may want to reflect on. Leaders carry the title of their profession with them everywhere they go. Often they are respected because of that title and the position they hold in their community. Therefore, people tend to remember their acts of kindness more than others due to their exalted position.

For the most part I really think people in athletics understand that athletics has brought them fame and when they are kind to people, that kindness can be remembered for years. We had a program called Brown & Gold Night at the University of St. Francis where we brought in a celebrity from the world of sport for a fundraising dinner. Our celebrities did not get any bigger that Hall of Famers’ Mike Ditka and John Wooden. Both of them could not have been more gracious to the hundreds of people who were in attendance. They showed no arrogance, no ego, no “I’m better than you because I’m a Hall of Famer.” Instead, they exhibited an attitude that they were genuinely grateful to meet our people and both stayed until every autograph was signed. To this day our people remember their graciousness and kindness.

When Maya Angelou wrote that people remember how you made them feel, it made me think of my mentor and coach, Gordie Gillespie, who did this better than anyone I have ever known. There could be 600 people in a room, but if he was talking to you, he made you feel like you were the only person in that room.

Our St. Francis basketball players demonstrated at Chicago clinics for some of the top coaches in the country, coaches like Bob Knight, Dean Smith, and Greg Popovich. Were you to ask our players what they remembered most about these men, I know they’d say how kind these coaches were to them. When our players were demonstrating for Coach Knight, they misunderstood his teaching on his very first drill and performed it poorly, so poorly that a good number of the 800 coaches in attendance laughed at them. Knight immediately stopped the clinic and told the coaches if he heard any more laughing from them, he’d bring ten of them out of the stands and have them demonstrate! Our players have never forgotten Coach Knight’s kindness to them.

Most leaders are in positions where they are able to do small or sometimes even big acts of kindness.

I attended St. Francis because of the way I was treated during recruiting. I chose a small NAIA school over a Division I program because the D-I coach left me with a feeling I would be a number. On the other hand, I remember Gordie Gillespie’s meeting with me in his office.

I can see Gordie in my mind as though it was yesterday. He looked at me and said it didn’t matter how well I played baseball or football, because he told me “you are going to be a senator” someday and make a huge contribution to society. I was so confident in my abilities when I left that meeting that I was sure I wanted to be a Saint.

How I was treated by the coaching staff at St. Francis after fall baseball my junior year changed my life. I was the 15th best pitcher out of 14 on the roster and had never really recovered fully from knee surgeries. Tony Delgado sat me down and explained that I could stay with the team if I chose but if not, they’d honor my scholarship and give me a job in the athletic department.

I realized at that moment how much they cared about me as a young man. Almost instantly, I resolved to work harder to recover from the injuries and regain some form as a pitcher. Because of the way they made me feel, I changed my outlook, stopped feeling sorry for myself and got myself back to the point where I could contribute as a varsity pitcher for two years.

The way Tony dealt with me has stuck with me and I’ve tried over the years to deal with employees, ballplayers and family with this type of approach (not always successfully).

“I have had the honor of listening to Pat Sullivan talk and to travel with Pat and speak with him. The one thing that is certain every time he speaks is that I learn something about leadership, honor, and how to live life properly from him. He is a remarkable speaker and man.” read more

Joe GuraTeacher, Head Basketball Coach Joliet Catholic Academy

“Coach Pat Sullivan is one of the most dynamic speakers I have heard. Coach Sullivan’s talks are always very well organized and engaging. No matter how many times I have heard Coach Sullivan talk, I always leave having learned something new. Coach Sullivan’s explains leadership in a way that all can understand and practice in everyday life. I constantly find myself applying Coach Sullivan’s concepts in teaching, coaching, and all aspects of my life.” read more

Tim TrendelHead Basketball Coach Providence Catholic High School

“Pat Sullivan is clearly one of the most interesting and engaging speakers you will hear. Pat blends personal stories of people he has either researched or met to demonstrate concrete principles we can all use to enhance our capacity to lead. There are so few authentic, selfless leaders today. Pat Sullivan is one of those and his stories and living example will motivate you toward that end.” read more

Frank PalmasaniAuthor – College Counselor

“I have known Pat Sullivan for the past 48 years. He is without question one the finest public speakers I have encountered in my 37 years in education. He has spoken at our graduations, clinics, and athletic fund raisers. As one principal who attended our most recent event and heard Pat speak stated: “Every educator in the nation needs to listen to his message.” Pat spoke at our conference leadership seminar which had 16 schools and over 300 students attending. The students were enraptured by his talk on “Leadership.” Pat is truly a phenomenal speaker, leader, and mentor.” read more

Randy StelterDirector of Athletics
Wheeler High School
Valparaiso, IN

“Pat’s enthusiasm and spirited way of getting his message across bridges many demographic groups. The care he takes to understand his audience underscores his unique ability to reach the many who come to hear him speak.”

“It is clear that when you hear Pat speak his thoughts come from the heart….sincere and genuine …sharing his life leadership experiences so that others will grow and benefit from them”. read more

Dr. Frank WyrostekProfessor of Finance University of St. Francis

“I have had the opportunity to hear from many motivational speakers in my professional career. None have spoken with the conviction and passion of Pat Sullivan. This is because he is speaking from decades of practical experience with students and athletes. He is very giving with his life’s experiences all, for the benefit of young people and fellow professionals alike.” read more

“I have had the honor of listening to Pat Sullivan talk and to travel with Pat and speak with him. The one thing that is certain every time he speaks is that I learn something about leadership, honor, and how to live life properly from him. He is a remarkable speaker and man.” read more

Joe GuraTeacher, Head Basketball Coach Joliet Catholic Academy

“Coach Pat Sullivan is one of the most dynamic speakers I have heard. Coach Sullivan’s talks are always very well organized and engaging. No matter how many times I have heard Coach Sullivan talk, I always leave having learned something new. Coach Sullivan’s explains leadership in a way that all can understand and practice in everyday life. I constantly find myself applying Coach Sullivan’s concepts in teaching, coaching, and all aspects of my life.” read more

Tim TrendelHead Basketball Coach Providence Catholic High School

“Pat Sullivan is clearly one of the most interesting and engaging speakers you will hear. Pat blends personal stories of people he has either researched or met to demonstrate concrete principles we can all use to enhance our capacity to lead. There are so few authentic, selfless leaders today. Pat Sullivan is one of those and his stories and living example will motivate you toward that end.” read more

Frank PalmasaniAuthor – College Counselor

“I have known Pat Sullivan for the past 48 years. He is without question one the finest public speakers I have encountered in my 37 years in education. He has spoken at our graduations, clinics, and athletic fund raisers. As one principal who attended our most recent event and heard Pat speak stated: “Every educator in the nation needs to listen to his message.” Pat spoke at our conference leadership seminar which had 16 schools and over 300 students attending. The students were enraptured by his talk on “Leadership.” Pat is truly a phenomenal speaker, leader, and mentor.” read more

Randy StelterDirector of Athletics
Wheeler High School
Valparaiso, IN

“Pat’s enthusiasm and spirited way of getting his message across bridges many demographic groups. The care he takes to understand his audience underscores his unique ability to reach the many who come to hear him speak.”

“It is clear that when you hear Pat speak his thoughts come from the heart….sincere and genuine …sharing his life leadership experiences so that others will grow and benefit from them”. read more

Dr. Frank WyrostekProfessor of Finance University of St. Francis

“I have had the opportunity to hear from many motivational speakers in my professional career. None have spoken with the conviction and passion of Pat Sullivan. This is because he is speaking from decades of practical experience with students and athletes. He is very giving with his life’s experiences all, for the benefit of young people and fellow professionals alike.” read more