Sunday, 11 May 2014

Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | May 11 2014 | DonInLondon

Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | May 11 2014 | DonInLondon

May 11 Video

May 11 Video

Truth is my spiritual touchstone. And when I veer away from the truth, life is difficult. I ran out of steam about a month ago, full of cold, extreme back pain and the usual stuff dealing with type I diabetes. And even though life was very painful, I did have a lot of gratitude to be sober one day at a time. And then the washing machine packed in as well.

Life is funny, you never know where the next laugh is going to come from. And although I might have lost my muse for writing, it did not stop me having a zest for living. After all, I have been writing for a long time, and if you did not need a break from it, I certainly did. And May is step five month in my refresher of the steps. On a personal level, I concentrate on one step a month, and try live the principles of all the steps every day. Again I have to say, life is difficult, even when it's funny. When I was trying to get my old washing machine which was broken out of my apartment, at one in the morning, in nearly toppled down the stairs. And loud clatters probably unnerved my neighbours. And the next day my new washing machine arrived at 8 AM and the old one was taken away.

The new washing machine is wonderful. Once I had taken the door off the kitchen, I thought it would go through nicely. I had thought, having checked the dimensions before buying, that the washing machine would glide through into the kitchen without having to remove the door. But having unpacked the washing machine, the old dimensions had been amended to new dimensions, which meant the washing machine ought not go through at all, even with the door off. Undeterred, I gave it a lot of thought and then got the fucking thing through the gap and then left it to the next day to set it up. It works perfectly, although there are a few scratches on the back. Don't tell anyone!

So my cold is better, and even though I got the new washing machine into the kitchen and it works perfectly, I cannot say it was an easy insertion into its place amongst the hotch potch of appliances in a very small space. And my back is okay as well, having used a bit of science, leverage and cuss words to get things straight. Clean bedding, clean shirts, and a bit more clarity about physics, leverage and vocabulary not fit for the BBC. How washing machine's work has improved over the last 15 years is another revelation.

Practising all the principles of the 12 step program has helped to keep me sober over the last few weeks. A cold, a cough, agitated slipped discs, unpredictable blood sugar levels and the use of many rude words is all part of life. Step one has remained constant and 100%. There have been many moments of being restored to sanity. Letting go and asking for help is very helpful. A reminder to myself of how it used to be, and a self-appraisal is a reminder to self about how easy it would be to slip backwards. Sharing my situation on a daily basis has kept me honest. I have enjoyed my defects of foul language and modest amounts of indulgence in sinful thoughts. And then clarity through courage, faith and confidence in doing the next right thing. I'm reminded of the amends I still need to make, and hopefully I will win the lottery one of these days. No harm to be done with other possible amends. I have forgiven myself for my lack of foresight, and I have forgiven the washing machine for being too big to get into the kitchen. A lot of meditation has been going on I can assure you. And I hope to be carrying the message with better clarity, one day at a time.