Come away with me now, to enchantment beyond. Let us dance in the memories of days past, thrive for those yet to come, and relish in the present day.

Category Archives: Babysitting Life

I have been lectured by both of my (younger) brother’s for giving a homeless 20-year old boy a ride from the Taco Bell to the local diner down the street. I am a girl, I was alone (well, I had the dog with me), and I didn’t know the kid.

First, yes, I am a girl, but that is irrelevant. This kid needed a ride and that’s it. He didn’t look dangerous (and, yes, you can spout all of the “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” stuff, but I just had this vibe that he wasn’t going to be a bad guy, and you know what? He wasn’t). This poor kid is the same age as my youngest brother. Of course I’m going to give him a ride because it was freezing cold the other day thanks to all of the rain we’d been getting, and all he had was a tank-top and torn jeans. He even had the politeness of manners to introduce himself (his name was Ed) and ask if we could put the radio on because he missed listening to music (instead of just changing what I was listening to from my phone, which was movie soundtracks, by the way, haha!). Anyway, it was two miles down the road, and it was a cold and miserable day, so I gave him a ride to his destination and made it home alive.

I think it’s really sad that because of a lot of bad things that go on in the world, when people are confronted with something like this in their daily lives, they’d rather look the other way and pretend they don’t see these homeless people. That we make excuses that a majority of homeless people aren’t really homeless, but pretending. But what if that ONE kid or person that you turn away really IS HOMELESS? How would you feel then, if you really knew that and that when they asked for your help, you turned them away?

All I know is that if I was homeless, or if that kid had been my youngest brother, I would want help. If it was cold and all I wanted was a ride to somewhere I could go inside and sit to warm up for a bit, that’s all I’d like.

So, I helped the kid. I wasn’t murdered. I didn’t die. I dropped him off and gave him $3 so he could get a coffee or a soup from inside, and then I went on with the rest of my day. Heck, I even checked in the back of my car to see if I had a sweater I could give him! I didn’t and I wish I had. I went to the local Goodwill this week and bought two sweaters. If I see Ed again, I’m going to give them to him so he has something as the weather is getting colder, especially at night.

I have a feeling I’ll see him around town again. He’s the same person I gave those waters and granola bars to back in the summer. He was wearing the same clothes then as he was last week. I doubt he’s pretending. Even if he is, and you can call me gullible, at least my conscious feels satisfied that I helped another human being who asked for a favor and needed the assistance. I feel good about what I did and that is all I care about.

That is all…on that topic, anyway.

On to my second topic of the night!

As an art major, I find myself worrying more and more, as graduation from my university looms ever closer, that I will have great difficulty in finding work in my field of study. Despite this, I have no regret for choosing art, because it is what I love and I know that in time, I will get a job in this field, doing what I want to do.

However, after much discussion with my parents, I have decided that perhaps a “fall-back plan” would be essential, so that if I cannot find work immediately in my field, I can have something to do so I can pay back my college loans until I can get an art job. Because, let’s face it, I can’t keep doing odd-jobs for the rest of my life, and I certainly won’t be able to make enough money to pay off my college loans by doing said odd-jobs.

That being said, I have decided to become a Certified Massage Therapist because I have always been interested in natural medicine and remedies and I can help people with relieving their stress and sports/related injuries at the same time. The only problem is that the program to become certified is expensive. $5,500 expensive! So, I have set up a GoFundMe account. I’m not here to beg for you to give me money. All I want to say is that if you have a penny to spare, could you spare it to me? Benjamin Franklin said: “A penny saved is a penny earned” and I’d like to earn the use of this penny to stabilize myself after school.

I have a link below that will take you to my GoFundMe account page if you want to help:

(Because P.S.: At this point, you should know that my real name is Tara, because that’s the name I have on my GoFundMe. I chose to use the name Soleil for my blogging life because it’s the name my parents almost gave me and I think it’s adorable.)

I am secretly insecure. About a lot of things. Sure, I’m the chipper, go-to gal amongst all of my friends and family, too. I’m always ready to lend a helping hand, whether it be running your errands for you, to babysitting your kid, to helping out with homework or housework or yardwork. Optimism is my middle name, mostly. I always have a ready smile and I always have something to laugh about.

But deep down, WAY deep down the darkness known as fear weaves me in a tighter web. I think this is the source my anxiety feeds on. This internal fear that I hide away so well from so many people that they don’t even know I have this problem until someone I’m close to (like my mother, for instance) tells them.

What am I insecure about? Many things. I’ve touched on them briefly in previous posts. Like how I’m 25, have only ever had one “serious” relationship (which only lasted 6 months), fear that I’ll never find “the one”, and I’ll die old and alone. That I’m still a student at university and already owe up to 16,000$+ in student loan debt and I still have, at least, 3 more semesters to study through in order to get my degree. How I currently have no “actual” job, but rather a variety of odd-end side jobs that don’t offer 401K’s, or retirement plans, or insurance and health plans. I’m not on a payroll!

I am a 25 year old university student working odd jobs that don’t offer steady payroll or benefits, making at least $1.50 more than New Jersey’s current minimum wage per hour, have 6 student loans, 2 credit card bills, and 1 car payment (plus $300 for insurance every 2.5 months), a cell phone bill, and only $40 in my savings account.

I’m afraid I’ll never be financially secure and that I’ll have to live with my parents for the rest of my life. It’s such a frightening idea, not because I don’t like them (because I do) but because I know they can’t afford to support me now, let alone for the rest of their lives! Besides, guys tend to shy away when I say I still live with my parents due to my financial situation.

I’m afraid I won’t find a good job after college. (I mean, who wants to hire an art major nowadays? I think I picked a crappy major). I’m afraid that I’ll only find mediocre jobs that don’t pay well and don’t offer the benefits necessary to live in today’s world. I’m afraid that I’ll never make enough money to pay off my debts. I’m afraid that I’ll never make enough to get a house, to get married, to start a family. I can’t even try to travel because that’stoo expensive!!!

Every day I hear on the news about America’s economy and how people are struggling. How the middle class is shrinking and the lower class is growing in size. How it costs a middle-class family over $105,000 to support a family of 4 per year! How one 19 year old student in North Jersey already owes $60,000+ in student debt and still has 2 more years of college to go. That’s ridiculous!

I know my situation could be worse so for the fact that it is not so horrible is a blessing and a slight relief, but that fear still grips me. It’s always there, a dim, nibbling presence in my mind and it’s scary!

So now you know a bit more about me. And what I’m afraid of. I feel like we’ve bonded. Thanks for listening….

Guys! I have totally failed in my upkeeping this “daily entry” thing for you on my blog here. It’s just…I’ve had a busy few past couple of days.

With school starting next week (-gasp!-), I’ve had to get my school supplies and text books. I’m taking some pretty interesting classes, yay!

Anatomy for the Artist

Elementary Japanese

Public Speaking

Intro to Astronomy (Online!)

I’m still trying to figure out how I’m supposed to take an Astronomy class online, but I did sign up for it myself, and it is a college course (since I’m in University and all), but I’m curious how they’re going to structure it. For example, will I have to meet on campus some nights to go to the observatory and look at certain stars and planets and such? I don’t mind, I’m just curious if that will be a thing.

Ah…DW quotes…and Van Gogh! -sigh-

Oh, um, also, I hurt my ankle.

Yeah…. You see, I was babysitting a 4-year old. Well, I let the family dog outside and when I heard him barking, I thought maybe there was a gate in the fence in the backyard that might have been open, so I went to check while the 4-year old watched “Spiderman”! So, I ran after the dog, and there was apparently this hole in the yard…that I didn’t see, and my foot went into it…and my ankle went POP! Yeah…it hurt a lot after that. So to the ER I went (after babysitting of course), dun dun daa! I was there until 2AM!

This was my result:

My poor ankle and leg, all wrapped up and held together with a stirrup splint. Woe is me! Well, I mean, it could have been way worse! The good news is that it’s not broken and there were no fractures in the bones. The bad news is that I may have torn a ligament, tendon, or muscle. The doctor at the ER told me to keep off my foot for the next week, use the crutches they gave to me, and keep my foot wrapped. Keep it elevated, stay off of it, nurse it, be kind to it. Basically, (don’t) run. -wink wink there, Whovians-

Look for my words again soon!

-Soleil

P.S. This has secretly really been a big Doctor Who-themed post, hahaha!

I have to be up in roughly four hours. This always happens. Whenever I have to wake up extremely early like this, I get so nervous that I won’t wake up on time, or sleep through my alarm, that I have a hard time falling asleep. Then I get less sleep than I wanted, despite going to bed more than early enough. Sometimes, I wish I was like those people who can fall asleep as soon as their head hits their pillow. Must be a nice superpower to have, hm?

So, I’ve prepped a glass of warm milk to try and calm me down. I’m 3/4 through the glass and decided to write my little lament here before finishing the rest of it up.

Babysitting is going well and I’m proud to say I have been on time every day so far. Yay! This is a big accomplishment, as I’m not usually a morning person. Recently, I found out that I’m borderline anemic, so that could explain why I’m always tired and have trouble waking up in the morning (even after 8+ hours of sleep!).

Oh, a change in my babysitting schedule today, though! My hours have been extended to 4 AM until 4 PM due to the youngest ended up getting sick this morning. So, after cleaning up the mess…(I almost got sick myself, and the smell…yuck! I must say, I might be scarred for life and I haven’t even had kids of my own, yet!), I texted his mother and she asked if I would mind staying here with him, instead of sending him to school. I said that it was not a problem, so, here I am at their house still, taking care of him. I think he’s feeling better. He’s up and about now and hasn’t thrown up in a few hours now. He’s wandering around the house trying to find the cat, Asher.

I still have yet to make rice porridge. Our rice cooker does not have a porridge setting, so I have to use stove top directions, instead. I’ve never been a fan of stove-top-cooked rice, but for the sake of trying something new, I’ll give it a try.

Also, I need to keep working on my commission painting. I planned to do some painting today, but now my schedule is a bit changed up. Ah…I had planned on sending some updated in-progress pictures to the client today, too….

I’m still waiting to hear back from Disney about my job request. According to the Dashboard on http://www.disneycareers.com, my submission is still pending. I hope to hear back soon, though. I really do want this job. It’s my dream job. Well, it’s in God’s hands now. I can just hope and pray in the meantime.

I think, since we can’t find a controller to operate the Xbox with to put Netflix on, I’ll let him watch Netflix through his phone, and I’ll try to do some writing. Or, I’ll read. I’ve started a new book. It’s the third in the “Wide Awake Princess” series by E.D. Baker. I love E.D. Baker’s books! She mainly focuses in fractured fairytales, which are my favorite. Anyway, the third book is “The Bravest Princess”. Since I liked the previous two, I’m sure this one will meet my standards for the story-line.

Good morning one and all! Look, I did it! I got up early. My schedule may be on its way to being fixed. Haha! I am very proud of myself. I went to bed at 8 PM last night so I could get up at 4 AM today. Babysitting for the week has started, as I’m in the living room of our family friend’s house. It’s very cozy and I lke the couch. It’s soft. The kind that you can sort of sink into and get comfortable. I like it.

Outside, rain is pattering against the windows and thunder keeps rumbling lowly. Thunderstorms are expected off and on all day today, with no stop to the rain. Ah, but that’s been said before these past few weeks and then it doesn’t happen. I don’t like rainy day after rainy day until it becomes almost a week of constant rain, but I do like the occasional summer thunderstorm and rainy day. It’s refreshing.

I have an hour and a half to myself before I have to wake the first two kids up. The youngest, I have to wake up in 2 hours, though since he shares a room with his older brother, he may get up at the same time as him. Anyway, since I have some quiet time (and brought my laptop along), I figured I’d type up a nice morning post. So, hi!

Yesterday, I did not make rice porridge. I didn’t have the time. Well, I did, but I filled that with other tasks. I thinned out my Netflix list in the morning, took a sledgehammer to an old brick fireplace in our backyard (demolishing half of it. Jae finished the other half. We’ll try to take the bricks to the dump later this afternoon…weather depending and if the truck feels like starting. It’s been having battery issues lately, apparently, and is going into the shop tomorrow.), and then went to the Apple Store (45 minutes away) with my parents to have my Mac checked out. It’s a first generation MacBook Pro and the Genius at the Genius Bar was very impressed on the smoothness and speed that my Mac still runs with. I felt pretty proud when he said that. They fixed the minor problem I was having by shutting off the infared eye (The Apple TV remote my Dad bought for our TV was also controlling the sound and volume and playing and stopping and muting of my iTunes on my computer and it was driving me crazy!), removing several programs I could not get rid of myself, and removed some malware. He also ran a diagnositics test (I asked him if that were possible, since I was already there) and my Mac is in perfect health! Yay!

I’ll be leaving here around 9 AM this morning to go back home. The youngest catches his bus at about 8:45 AM. I’m not quite sure what my plans for today will be. I wanted to paint, but depending on the rain, I might not be able to open the windows to keep the room nice and airy while I paint.

Oh, also, I always find it a bit unsettling to drive so early in the morning. Since I live in a very rural area (where plots of land that don’t have a house on them are either acres upon acres of trees or open farmland), there is never anyone else on the road. While this may be safer (maybe), I find it creepy. It’s like I’m the only one. It’s a weird feeling. Luckily, I only live about 10 minutes from where I have to babysit. But, still, that 10 minutes feels awfully long at 4 AM on the dark county roads….