Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I work just as hard as everyone else out there,
I am a child that you will find really rare.
I will stand tall, and I will not drone.
I watch as others are rewarded while I sit alone.

'You, you, you, (skip me), you and you!'
That's what is said, and it feels so cruel.
I don't know what I did that was so wrong,
To be left out of every game, but I remain strong.

I don't complain, I sit and see,
Everyone else is called but me.
My hopes grow big at every game,
I just await the sound of my name.

I sit, and wait, and wait some more,
We are winning big by that score,
Would it hurt to put me in, just one single time,
I may not show it, but inside I am crying.

My insides hurt, but I sit here with a smile,
I would like to play, if just for a little while.
Players sitting on each side of me are picked,
Each time this happens, I feel like I've just been kicked.

I'm a hard worker, I do what I'm asked,
Every single thing, every little task.
Just give me a minute or even a second to shine,
I won't let you down, I will do just fine.

I thought I was placed on the team for a reason,
I've sit on this bench this whole season.
It's not a joke, I feel like it's cruel,
For me not to play because of some silly unknown rule.

I am a senior, and this is my last year,
You will see everyone in gym stand and cheer,
On senior night when my name is called,
'I' will stand with pride, and I will not fall.

Even though, throughout each and every game that I've not been called for,
I hurt like heck as I walk out that gym door.
Because no matter what, my attitude is hopeful and my mouth doesn't run,
And maybe that's the reason, God made me the chosen one.

Yes, God has placed me in this position for a reason,
I am to grow and learn something or another this season.
Even if 'I' am never played, or put out there,
This year I've learned that nothing in life is fair.

*This blog is dedicated to my daughter and to all of the other kids who are benched due to some silly reason or another.

Sometimes, life isn't fair, but God is fair. He will see to it that we are all rewarded for our good deeds. God will also open the eyes of others. If one door closes, them God will open another door just for you. Don't ever give up! You are the only one who can choose your path in life. Don't let anyone else choose it for you.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

This is a true story of one young man's struggle with life. I will call him Bear.

Bear lived with his family, had a part-time job, a car, and a fiance that he'd do anything for. Money was tight for him and he struggled to make his car and insurance payments.He and his fiance decided to move away to a bigger city in hopes of better jobs and a new life together. Things were still pretty tough there, but their love seemed to get them through some of the worst situations.

After a while, their love seemed to fail and they parted ways. Bear came back home so that he could be with his family and friends, but he had no place to stay or a job to pay any bills. He went job hunting during the day and slept in his car at night. He felt so lost and alone. Every night he prayed for some sort of light to shine his way. He went through all sorts of emotions. He didn't understand why bad things happened to him. He felt like he was being punished for some reason or another. He felt as though he was in a dark void, and those were his actual words to me.

After a couple of weeks of searching, he finally found a part time job, but still had no place to lay his head at night. He would park his car anywhere that he could whether it be in a parking garage, or beside the road and sleep all cramped up in it. Sometimes he would sleep at work if a certain supervisor was there. He would stay with friends or family some nights, but most of his nights were in that car, alone and in the dark.

Throughout this whole process, I tried my best to give him words of hope and encouragement. I just knew he would be okay. I kept telling him that there is a reason for every single thing that happens. We may or may not find out the reasons for what happens, but eventually we go down the path that we were meant to go.

He disappeared from my communications with him. I was worried that something bad may have happened. I tried getting up with him on several occasions, just to make sure he was okay. I had a bad feeling that he may have left this life due to his struggling to make it. I was wrong. I received a message that he finally got up with some family in another city, and is now attending college. I am so very proud of him!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

*Billy is a man who lives alone. His small house is falling apart. The roof is slanted and looks like it will topple off any day now. There are big cracks and holes on the outside walls. If there were any paint on the outside, it has long since peeled away. The weeds and grass grow tall enough in the Spring and Summer that the house is barely discernible. There is no electricity or running water hooked to the house. In the wintertime a kerosene heater is used for heat.

Billy is an older guy, in his early seventies, and he is very skinny and sort of tall. He walks to the store and back (2 miles away) several times a day wearing the same old work pants, a button up shirt, and a round-rimmed floppy hat (like Charles Engles's hat). You will see him walking along side the road, no matter what the weather: hot, cold, rain, snow, or sleet. He will band a shopping bag over his hat to help protect himself during inclement weather.

Any time that he is in the store along side me, I'll ask how he is doing. A couple of years ago I found out he is a Veteran of the war. He told me that he had just gotten back from the V.A. hospital. The V.A. hospital is in another state and he walked all the way there and back. I asked about his family and he told me that his wife and child were killed in a car accident a very long time ago. He also told me that he claimed the workers at the grocery store and the gas-n-go as his family now.

This man, who fought in the war and then lost his family in a tragic accident, has survived many years without the comforts that most of us have. He doesn't seem to need electricity, running water, a nice house to live in, or a vehicle to drive. He has stated that all he needed to survive were his feet and his faith.

If this man can live life without all of the comforts that most of us have, then why do we complain about the small things?

Monday, May 10, 2010

Another boy in his early twenties in my very small town, committed suicide last week. This makes two of my nephew's friends who have done so in less than a year. I am saddened by this, and I worry about how my nephew is holding up.

The day after his death I received the following Twitter message from @triciagoyer, "Thanks for the follow! So if you could do anything and know it would succeed, what would it be?"

I thought about it and replied, "I would build a center for suicidal teens. I would teach them love and show them how proud I am of what they can achieve through dedication."

Now, mind you, I didn't know who triciagoyer was at the time, I did know she was an author that I was interested in or I wouldn't be following her, and I felt pretty good that she sent a message to me in the first place.

The next message I received from her was, "That's a GREAT goal! Have you checked out the book Life, In Spite of Me?"

I did a little Googling and saw that the book was based on a girl's suicide attempt and that she amazingly survived. I replied back, "Sounds like a very good book. I will be ordering it today. Thanks!"

I ordered the E-version of the book through B&N and halfway through the book, I ordered the hard cover edition through Amazon as it touched me so much and I wanted to share the book with a few people I knew.

After reading the book, I discovered that @triciagoyer actually wrote the book with Kristen Jane Anderson.
I also received a reply, "The book just released May 4. I was honored to have written it!"

I would recommend everyone who knows anyone contemplating suicide to not only get professional help for them, but to also gift this book to them.

Now, the thing that gets to me is this: I had no idea that @triciagoyer had written this book when I sent her the reply pertaining to suicide. Coincidence? I don't think so. God works in mysterious and wonderful ways!

If anyone out there is contemplating suicide...don't. Life has its ups and downs, we all know that. There are many of us who have been through lots of issues. There is great joy to be found in life. You just need to know where to look for it. If you can't find it, if you are truly that lost, then you need to ask someone for help. There is no shame in needing help to find your way in this world. You can have anything you need just by looking for it, and working for it.

The next couple of blogs will follow a couple of people that I know who struggled to find their way in life. They lost everything, and yet they still survive. Please come back this week and read their stories.

Friday, May 7, 2010

There are some awesome auctions going on right here to help the flood victims in middle Tennessee. Included in these auctions are signed books, critiques, phone calls, and other cool stuff from authors, writers, editors and other cool people! Anyone interested in participating and winning some awesome stuff while helping flood victims, please visit http://dothewritethingfornashville.blogspot.com/

Thursday, April 29, 2010

In order to write, you need to have a goal. I'm not talking about word count goal, or anything like that. I mean a long-term goal. Why are you writing? Answer that question, and you will figure out what your goal is. If you don't aim toward your goal, you will get sidetracked and complicate the simple things.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

True Story: Being the seeker in hide & seek is not fun when while you are hiding your eyes and counting, the hiders actually leave the premises to go play ball a mile away.

True Story: If you jump from a 10 foot ledge into a coal pile and let your knees bend and give out under the force of the jump, 2 black eyes will appear.

True Story: No matter what my dad says, I was never lost in a heating duct.

True Story: If your mama tells you not to leave toys in the car while shopping because they could get stolen, listen to her because it does happen.

True Story: Doing flip flops on the A-frame roof of the garage when you are 6 years old is NOT safe, no matter what your older brother tells you.

True Story: Placing explosives in a drilled water well inside a well house WILL forcibly blow the roof off of the well house and make it land 50 feet away, not to mention the whoop of the explosives will make your ears ring for a week.

True Story: Nobody really knows how old my dad except me and a few other people because the mining industry wouldn't hire 40-year-olds years ago. There is truth in discrimination.

True Story: My mama couldn't think of a name for me when I was born, so since I was the last child of 13, she picked the last name from the baby book. Living in the 80's with the name of Zita was pretty rough. However, I recently found out that my birthday is officially Saint Zita's Day. Imagine that!

True Story: When you are 5 years old, never trust your older brothers. When they dare you to go to the altar when the preacher is calling out for sinners and say they will follow you up, they are lying, IN A CHURCH! You WILL be preached at very loudly and your mama will have an embarrassing look on her face for a long time and you will never forget it and your brothers will deny the dare completely.

True Story: Real outhouses may look cool from a distance, but they aren't at all cool when you actually have to use one.

True Story: Riding in the bucket of an en-loader (like a bulldozer with a bucket instead of a blade), is actually pretty cool! Until your dad, who is driving it, tells you to hang on and tries to dump you out.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

I am searching for a book. I do not know the title or author of it. It is a small children's book. The age range is probably 4-6 and it was a picture book with words. The story is set in the dark with several different animals. Throughout the book, one animal at a time is introduced, following the animal before it. I do remember the cat went sneaky, sneaky, sneaky.

I am thinking it has the word night, moon, or something to that effect in the title. I have searched for hours through B&N and Amazon and haven't been able to find it.

If anyone has any idea of the name of this book, I would greatly appreciate it.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Over the past year or so, I've forgotten how to write. Well, not really forgotten, I just got lost a little bit. I used to write whatever came from my imagination, no matter what it was, as long as it laid out the story. My way of writing changed because I researched the art of writing. I read posts, blogs, how-to websites, and all of that good stuff. It actually made me doubt my writing. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of great information out there and most of it helped me, but it also made me a different writer. Now, every time I write a sentence, all of that information constantly buzzes through my mind and I doubt everything that I write. I keep thinking that I need more details, or I shouldn't use that word but another synonym of the word. I even got to the point that I thought I couldn't write at all. I was confused.

I know that I am not grammatically correct at times. I can't come up with great synonyms like others can, and I don't know these huge-long words. But, I know simple words. Everyone knows simple words, so I don't understand what the problem would be if I never used a thesaurus while writing. If my readers can understand what I mean, then why would I have to change the way I write, as long it worked and the story captured them?

This morning, with the help of a blog by Jeff King and a blog by Billy Coffey, I realized that I am a writer. I just have to bring the writer in me back out and throw away the negative me.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Recently I had a major image change....I cut my hair and dyed it black.

I went from looking like this ------>

To looking like this ------->

Now, I had a very good reason for doing such a thing. Back a very long time ago, I had light brown hair which I always highlighted. Over the years, not only did I have to highlight every month, I also noticed my "roots" getting darker and darker. With this happening, I had to highlight even more frequently.

Now, as any girl knows, too many chemical treatments on the hair will damage it. The only proven way to treat damaged hair is to stop using chemicals on it, and to cut off the damage....hence, the new hair color and haircut. The lighter shade of black matched my roots, so I went with that.

I know this story has nothing to do with writing, but I didn't want to change my profile picture without explaining.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I realize that I am always stressing over my writing. I question everything that I write. Sometimes I write a sentence, and then re-read it thinking it needed to be changed. So, I change it, and then change it, and then change it….and it goes on like that until I have many versions of the same sentence. No wonder it’s taking me forever to get through this ms.

I know that I’m supposed to write a rough draft first and then go over it all again, but I just can’t seem to do that. I know that the first sentence below would have worked, but I changed it over and over because I thought that I could make it better. I want to be a better writer! I guess that is why I do these things. But, from this day forward, I will do a rough draft and revise later.

1. The space under the shrub would have been a great hiding place, if only the ground wasn't frozen. He would endure it as long as they were still out there looking for him.

2. His body protested the frozen ground under the shrub. He had to stay put as long as they were still out there.

3. Since they were still out there, his body would have to suffer the frozen ground under the shrub.

4. His hiding place on the cold ground under the bush would have to suffice, since they were still out there.

5. The bush was the best hiding place he could find. The only problem was that he had to lay on the frozen ground in order to stay hidden.

I ended up going with the last sentence. All I wanted to convey was that this guy had to hide on the frozen ground under a bush. It actually took me rewriting the sentence more than five times to get there. I didn't post all of them because I didn't want people to think I was nuts.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Over the past couple of days, two hashtags on Twitter have attracted my attention. The first one is #storystarters. There have been a couple of tweets on this hashtag that I really wanted to know how the rest of the story would end. The application that I use with Twitter is TweetDeck. I have several columns that I keep on there at all times and #storystarters has inherited its own column.

The second hashtag is #thingsishouldnotseeinaquery. @colleenlindsay posted some great stuff through this hashtag that I will try not to do. I follow @colleenlindsay, not only because she is a literary agent, but because she tells it how it is and she does make me chuckle. When I started tweeting through TweetDeck, I made a column labeled 'Favs'. This column has a few choice tweeters (including @colleenlindsay) who grabbed my attention with their inspiring tweets.

The hashtags that I posted above were placed at the end of sentences. Searching for these hashtags requires no period at the end of them.

It's Friday night and the weekend is just starting, so have a great weekend!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Every blog that I have written so far has been about my family. Without the love and support of my family, I would not be me.

I got to thinking about why someone would want to read my blogs. They probably wouldn't. They have their own family, and mine is probably not much different than anyone else's.

Today, I thought I would go ahead and explain a little about me and my journey into the world of writing.

I have several beginning stories/manuscripts on my computer, and one that is almost complete. You see, I have a very hyper mind. That's the only way I can describe it. My mind will jump from one thing to another in a split second. I try to focus on one certain thing at a time, but sometimes, it's really hard to do.

I can be writing on a manuscript when my main character meets another character. Then my mind starts coming up with plot for the secondary character for a completely different manuscript. Then I get all screwed up. So, I have to stop writing completely in order to refocus my mind.

Today was a good day. I kept my focus and wrote for a few hours without having to stop. I am proud of myself for being able to stay where I needed to be.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The weather forecast had predicted a large amount of snow to fall the night of December 18th. Of course, they have said that we would get snow many other times and then we would end up getting a flurry or two, but never the snow that they predict. The last snowstorm that we received happened a very long time ago, therefore we neglected to listen to the warnings this time.

The snow started falling soon after the bus dropped the kids off at home. When I looked out of the window, the biggest snowflakes I had ever seen were falling. They were huge, I means absolutely enormous! They were the size of my thumbnail. I knew then, that I was wrong not to listen to the warnings.

Within a couple of hours, trees were falling everywhere, weighted down by the snow. We lost power and telephone services by 8 o’clock that evening. I stood on my front porch listening to the silence; the only sounds I heard were the cracks and crashes made by the falling trees. I have never experienced these noises in my life. The snow continued to fall heavily all night.

We had a fire going in the fireplace and few candles that first night. I didn’t like the dark. I’m not scared of the dark mind you, it was the silence. I am used to noise and chaos constantly in my life, as those of you with children can understand. Actually, it really wasn’t the silence that bothered me; it was the ringing in my ears that took the place of silence that got to me.

That night, we piled mattresses in front of the fireplace in the living room to sleep on. We hung sheets and blankets around the doorways to block off this room. The following morning we all woke up chilled to the bone as the fire went out some time during the night. I looked out of the window and saw everything covered in sparkly white. I rebuilt the fire and used an old tin percolator I found in the cabinet to make coffee. The kids huddled under the blankets until the cold air in the room warmed up to a tolerable level.

My husband walked through the deep snow up to the old building and brought down the kerosene heater and a few camping items we had stored up there. I found some batteries and put them in the radio. The newscast told of power outages all over the area, and that some of the major roads were closed.

We decided to get out the 4-wheeler (a.k.a. the ATV) and ride around the hollow and see how much damage the snowstorm caused. We didn’t get very far at all as there were trees down everywhere. We saw the electrical line, cable line, and telephone line lying in the road for at least ½ a mile. We knew then that we wouldn’t have any of those services for a very long while, as those companies would work on the city lines first and we’d come last.

We heard a newscast on the radio stating that the emergency management service was giving out kerosene to those who needed it, at a couple of fire departments. We were stuck though, with no way out and only a couple of gallons of kerosene to do us. We decided to only use it if we really needed it, (which ended up being the following morning as it was so cold that we could see our breaths in the house.)

My husband got together with a couple of neighbors on their 4-wheelers and headed out with chainsaws to cut the trees out of the road. One of the neighbors had a tree fall on his house and they also removed that one. It was an all day job to clear the road out of the hollow. The hollow itself is more than a mile long, so it was a rough job considering there were trees everywhere.

With the road cleared, some of them could finally get out of the hollow in their 4 wheel drives to make kerosene and supply runs. Of course, my family was one of the unlucky few who did not have a 4-wheel drive and had to depend upon rides from others. It was okay though, at a time like this, they all pulled together and helped one another.

Our power was restored on December the 28th, phone on January 2nd, and cable/internet on January 9th. Our Christmas was a dark one, but fun. We played board games (Apples to Apples being the funnest) and read books to keep us occupied. My fifteen-year-old daughter actually read ‘Deep Storm’ by Lincoln Child.

I would like to say that the hotels did raise their prices during this time. I think it was wrong to do this, to take advantage of people during a hard time. I live in a town that has 80% poverty level and any business that takes advantage of people has no conscience, and that's all I am going to say about that.

I like living on a hollow (a.k.a. holler) and knowing all of my neighbors. I love the mountains and all of the beauty that comes with them. Most of all, I love my family. The power outage has brought us closer together and I am thankful for that part of it.