Last night, just like many other nights, I was thinking about things that are out of my reach.

Example: the kidnapped and tortured child whose face I see in the newspaper and try to spot in my surroundings hoping that I can be of help in finding this child. Then a few days later, the child is found...only to be recognized by it's clothing. I couldn't do anything to stop what had taken place.

Then the homeless person to whom I gave five bucks for a sandwich and soda. Why can't/won't he come back to that place of 'having' a home, a job, a life.

------Why did I make reference to 'church' in the topic of this thread?---------

Because since I was a little girl, I thought that 'church' meant everything that was NOT criminal, evil, hateful, crooked/distracting, controlling.

You see, I never really thought that 'church' was for one to only to go around saying: "Jesus loves you", "Jesus is the son of God", "Jesus this and that" "If you don't believe, you're going to hell". "Satan, blah, blah, blah".

No. That's NOT what I thought was the true meaning of 'church'.

So as I began to grow into adulthood, I would often ponder the thought, why don't we get it?

Do we want to? Or are we all part of the spots on a leopard?

Are we not as guilty as the 'illuminati' we speak of. Have we not indulged in our own 'conspiracy' against someone?

Have we not condemned/rejected someone for stupid, stupid reasons?

So I thought that the 'church' would help us remember where we should be with our interaction and treatment of our fellow human. And this would be for all people.

So really, what has the 'church' been doing for 2,000 years??

It seems against me. Against alot of people.
It's not my friend. It's not my mentor, teacher, protector, or even 'wake-up call'. It doesn't alert me when someone is taking advantage of me and well-being.

I can't talk to it. Just follow what it says.
But following it only gives me a controlled feeling. A feeling that I am only for the moment, if given that.

There is a new 'church' coming. Very soon.
It will call itself Christian. But not the Christian that is 'truth'. The truth that dwells in our hearts.