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Serving Mothers and FamiliesFri, 10 Jan 2014 12:19:37 +0000en-UShourly1http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.1Comics to the Rescue!http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/04/comics-to-the-rescue/
http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/04/comics-to-the-rescue/#commentsMon, 11 Apr 2011 20:57:13 +0000http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/?p=4599Have a reluctant reader at your house? Is it more likely to be a boy? (No, I’m not talking about your husband…although I have an answer for that too, towards the end!) Ever hear a teacher recommend that you give your child whatever they are interested in, just get them to READ? It’s true! I […]

]]>Have a reluctant reader at your house? Is it more likely to be a boy? (No, I’m not talking about your husband…although I have an answer for that too, towards the end!)

Ever hear a teacher recommend that you give your child whatever they are interested in, just get them to READ? It’s true! I know my mom wasn’t a fan of anything with violence, profanity or gore (plus there were 5 of us kids!) so she wasn’t too big into buying comics for us. But when I hit about 10 or 11, she was amenable to buying me Archie comics, which are good clean fun.

Been to a comic store lately? We took the kids a few months ago to Comics Store West over on Industrial Hwy to look for something for my husband but I was pleased to find a whole wall rack (right up by the front door, unless they’ve rearranged!) of kids comics. Archie caught my eye but my boys LOVE Sonic the Hedgehog and that is what they begged for. Paper comics are cheap—less then $3 definitely, some as low as $1.50— but what if you could get them for $.99? Keep a whole library of them?

Well, if you have an iOS (for those of us moms who are not terribly technologically savvy, that means “i operating system,” like an iPad, iTouch or iPhone) you can download a FREE app from comiXology and get comics4kids for as little as $.99 each. Available in the iTunes store, keyword search, comics4kids.

I know that sometimes taking kids places can be…stressful shall we say? Difficult, anyone? How about challenging? What if you had something on hand they could read, where they’d be practicing learning skills from school as well as giving you some peace and quiet at a restaurant, while waiting at the theater for a movie to start, on a long car trip or when you are trying to relax with another adult during a play date or visit?

See, this is one of those awesome things about kids growing up: my six and a half year old can now read, so I can actually give him things and say, “here, read this for a while” and he will! That’s not terrible, that is encouraging a healthy habit my friend. Not to mention saving your sanity!

Once you download some comics (say you give yourself or them a $10 or $15 limit) they will have some titles they can read over and over. You will have your own little library to tote around with you! I would encourage you to peruse the library yourself of course, and make sure the titles meet with your approval. There are 175 titles available for download from 15 different publishers at this time. Some titles included are Archie, Sonic Universe, Raising Amy, Growing Up Enchanted, Clockwork Girl and G-Man (if you’ve never heard of these, don’t worry, there are plenty more to choose from!)

AND if you or your hubby like comics, there are tons to choose from on comiXology’s home site or by going directly to the comiXology library, where there are hundreds of freebies and free previews. Plus, you can use your Android at this site, download onto your computer or any iOS as well as transferring your purchases between them. So if you download initially on your computer, you can then go back and put it on your iPad so you can take it with you on the train or wherever! It has gotten me all interested in comics again!

I am a gadget lover, so I am psyched to hear about this! I love things that are portable and that make my life easier. I’m already envisioning using this when we drive to Disney again with the six year old reading quietly and then later, the hubby or I using it.

While I didn’t get reimbursed in any way for talking about this great technology, I did have a cheerful email conversation with a rep from comiXology and wrote an article for Technorati about titles intended for adults being downloadable here. I also read a lot of comics online. In the interest of research you understand.

]]>http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/04/comics-to-the-rescue/feed/0Technology Seminar for Parentshttp://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/03/technology-seminar-for-parents/
http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/03/technology-seminar-for-parents/#commentsThu, 17 Mar 2011 18:00:33 +0000http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/?p=4562The topic of internet predators, the safety of Facebook, picture posting, children on the internet and how to keep them safe are all hot topics. I am now so paranoid, my kids aren’t allowed on the internet (at ages 6 and 4 ½ y.o.) even though they are technologically savvy (surprisingly so!). We are constantly […]

]]>The topic of internet predators, the safety of Facebook, picture posting, children on the internet and how to keep them safe are all hot topics. I am now so paranoid, my kids aren’t allowed on the internet (at ages 6 and 4 ½ y.o.) even though they are technologically savvy (surprisingly so!). We are constantly telling them, ok, you can play on the computer….but only go to these 5 websites….and don’t click on anything else….don’t talk to anyone….don’t “friend” anyone…and don’t tell anyone your name!! Or where you live!!

That sounds like great fun, doesn’t it? Play the game, don’t interact with anyone!

And the paranoia doesn’t stop there!

Not only do I rarely post any kind of pictures of my kids online, I get fully irritated with people who post pictures of them (otherwise adored family members who post without my permission!).

What do I think is going to happen?

I don’t know! Maybe some perv will become so enamored with my child, they’ll stalk us with their keen intellect and computer skill so they can kidnap them!… Hey! It could happen! Stop snickering!

But I don’t know, is that possible? Can people do that??

Well, one way to find out is to take a class! And it just so happens that St. Joseph’s of York on Kingston Rd does just that but get this: it’s FREE! Yes, you read that right! F-R-E-E.

So I contacted the St.Joe’s IT team and Thomas Steele was kind enough to respond. I asked him a few questions so you wouldn’t have to! Here’s the deal:The seminar is on Tuesday, March 22, 2011 from 7:00pm to 9:00pm at St.Joseph’s Catholic Church. The address is 2935 Kingston Road, York, PA 17402 so you can get your online directions and whatnot! Once there, you’ll look for the St.Francis Meeting Room. Again, this is FREE to whoever would like to come, as a ministry the church is offering. Now Mr. Steele said the most they had ever had was 30 people and that internet safety is the most popular topic, so the potential is there for it to be crowded. You’ll need to RSVP so they know how many people are coming! That you can do at: it@sjy.org

When I asked Mr. Steele what the seminar included, he said, “…our feedback has been that parents are looking for specifics and day-to-day application such as a tutorial of Facebook itself, its dangers, and many traps and loopholes children use to circumvent settings (willingly and unwillingly) put in place for their protection. We will be going as in-depth as possible as long as time permits and it is relevant to the audience.”

Every year, they choose a theme, so this year it will be “Supporting a Positive Online Presence.” I asked Mr. Steele what would be covered that was specific to the theme and he responded, “We are trying to put a positive spin on this topic. ‘Internet Safety’ has a very negative connotation to it and, while it is important and sometimes necessary to know the dangers and horror stories, it tends to fall on deaf ears. This new approach talks about the TO DO instead of what NOT to do.”

The goal, Mr. Steele says, is to help parents learn of the things they need to help their children avoid the evils of the Internet while benefitting and growing from the good.

Isn’t that what I said? Earlier, about letting my children use the internet? Huh, well, that’s what I meant. Obviously, the IT team at St. Joe’s has a better grip on this than I do, so you might want to go to them for more techy-type info relating to your kids!

]]>http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/03/technology-seminar-for-parents/feed/0Getting Kids to Bed the Quick and Painless Wayhttp://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/02/getting-kids-to-bed-the-quick-and-painless-way/
http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/02/getting-kids-to-bed-the-quick-and-painless-way/#commentsSat, 05 Feb 2011 08:00:02 +0000http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/?p=4468Ha! Sucked you right in didn’t I? There IS no quick and painless way to, well, to do anything in parenting–let’s be honest! Right now, someone is going to be feeling the pain if they don’t stop running up and down the stairs, but that’s another post. It’s especially painful and excruciating when you’ve already […]

]]>Ha! Sucked you right in didn’t I? There IS no quick and painless way to, well, to do anything in parenting–let’s be honest! Right now, someone is going to be feeling the pain if they don’t stop running up and down the stairs, but that’s another post. It’s especially painful and excruciating when you’ve already created a bad habit(s). But not to fear! Read on!

Bedtime routines should be started at birth. Truly. Turn the lights off. Only use a night-light when doing night-time check-ups and diaper changes. Play soft music or a white noise machine. These things all help a baby or child’s body recognize that there is a transition happening: No lights. Soft music. Bedtime story. Night after night.

I highly recommend putting both babies and children down while still awake, not after they have fallen asleep on your lap in the rocking chair (we got ours pretty cheaply from the local Burlington!) or you’ve rubbed their backs until you’ve both fallen asleep. I can tell you, it wastes a lot of your time!! I finally got sick of lying down with my 3 year old at 7:45pm only to wake up sore and contorted 2 hours later! And all I could think was: I was going to take a hot bath! There was going to be a snack and reading! I have laundry to fold!! I’m missing my only TV time that I’ve waited ALL DAY for!! And how does this benefit your child, this falling asleep together? They become reliant on you to sleep. They are now dreadfully difficult for someone else to put to sleep. You’ve lost 2 hours and they weren’t quality hours: the kid was asleep! OR you have a tremendous mess to clean up because once you fell asleep, said toddler slipped out of bed and trashed their bedroom. Any way you look at it, not a good scenario!

Remember the key words of parenting that I will be reiterating until you are mumbling them in your sleep: Consistency. Modeling. Training for Independence. Good Habit Routines.

This is how we roll at night: baths first. As soon as baths are done, I (or more likely my hubby, I’m usually taking care of the baby) follow them into their rooms and turn on their bedtime music while they are dressing. They are then told, one to brush teeth, one to pick a bedtime story, then they switch. We cuddle on the bottom bunk and read their 2 stories and then they are off to bed! At this point, we get no arguing. The only time we have issues is when we have been trapped inside all day and Gabe, who’s four, wins the award for Most Likely to Act Up! Luckily, we have a spare room. They get one warning and then I will sweep in like Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty and haul the offender away to fall asleep in the spare room; mommy don’t play that. I need my peace at night!

However, please, please, please, do not make this crazy complicated long bedtime routine that you and only you can do properly to get your child to fall asleep! Babysitters cannot follow it. Your husband cannot follow it. If you try to skip a step, the child freaks out. This is not good for anyone! I do what I can to wear my boys out (and so does my hubby: if they are rambunctious throughout the bedtime routine, he often stages a wrestling match to help them get rid of extra energy!). That’s really the first step in getting kids to go to bed: wear them out first! If they are exhausted, there’s not going to be a lot of fooling around or protesting!

The other thing I do is if my boys, who sleep in a bunk bed, are not settling well, I encourage them to close their eyes, listen to their music and visualize their favorite place (suggestions: the beach… Disney… the Lego store!). Visualization is an actual tool (no I didn’t make this up!) to help adults relax, so why shouldn’t we be encouraging our children to do so? I’d say 8 out of 10 times, this works and I don’t hear a peep out of them!

Again, having your kids be dependent on you in order to fall asleep makes no sense and I’ll tell ya why! Some kids are so wrapped up in their unhealthy sleep patterns, it becomes very disruptive to your life. Ever been out at someone else’s house and had your child freaking out because they’re over-tired but won’t sleep unless……(fill in the blank)? Ever had a sitter call you while on your date night because your child is screaming bloody murder and won’t settle down, they keep asking for…….(fill in the blank)? Ever hear a mom say, almost apologetically, “S/He won’t go to sleep unless I……(fill in the blank)” ? Ever realized you were out of or lost something critical to the bedtime routine and now your spouse has to go out and get it or your child won’t sleep? What a pain! Make things easier on yourself! (I feel like an infomercial!) Get a bedtime routine! Start immediately if you don’t have one. It will take some time, so be patient, but behavior CAN be changed! (yours and theirs!) Good luck!

]]>http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/02/getting-kids-to-bed-the-quick-and-painless-way/feed/7Why Celebrating Valentine’s Day is a GOOD Idea!http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/01/why-celebrating-valentines-day-is-a-good-idea/
http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/01/why-celebrating-valentines-day-is-a-good-idea/#commentsFri, 28 Jan 2011 10:00:22 +0000http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/?p=4447Many people (ok, men….and people who are alone and bitter….) say Valentine’s Day is a commercialized day. And in a lot of ways, it is. But so is every other holiday. Valentine’s Day is about love. We are all so busy nowadays, it is nice to have a day dedicated to pausing and expressing your […]

]]>Many people (ok, men….and people who are alone and bitter….) say Valentine’s Day is a commercialized day. And in a lot of ways, it is. But so is every other holiday. Valentine’s Day is about love. We are all so busy nowadays, it is nice to have a day dedicated to pausing and expressing your love.

When I was a kid, my father, who worked an insane number of hours a week, was the one who went out and got each of the 5 of us kids a small heart-shaped box of candy. He of course got my mother a nice big box of candy, which we oooh’d and ahhhh’d over. In the mornings, we woke up and rushed downstairs to find those boxes of candy and a card on the kitchen table. It felt special because it was hard to connect with my father on a daily basis because he was gone so much. This was one way he showed us he was thinking of us. My mother showed us every day she loved us, but this was a day we all came together and we were reminded of how our parents loved each other as well as us.

My wreath stand!

This Valentine’s Day, no matter the configuration of your family, no matter how unusual your home life, show each other that you care. Demand everyone come home and have dinner together even if that’s not what you usually do. Decorate and prepare for it, because it is a real holiday! I don’t have a lot, just one small box of things, but we put a few things out and talk about it. Buy the little candy hearts and leave them where your family members can find them. Encourage your kids to do valentines for not only their classmates, but for your immediate family, for family that need their valentines mailed to them and for people you have to drive to visit. Make heart-shaped baked goods of your choice. We have a heart-shaped pan and my hubby isn’t big on cake so we make him brownies or a cheesecake. Here’s how to cut out a heart garland. Research St. Valentine. Create a new tradition, which are so important to kids, who like to anticipate things and find comfort in knowing what’s coming. Even using only one of these ideas on a yearly basis helps to mark the day. I actually steer clear of candy (so we’re not on a candy binge from Halloween right on through to Easter!!) and we often get them books instead (and by “we” I mean “me”!). We have a nice collection of holiday themed books now from Halloween through Easter (I have a sense of déjà vu…).

Show your kids how much you think of them; pause and show them how you care for your significant other (studies show it positively impacts kids from a very early age to see their parents showing affection; go ahead! Give each other a hug!)

If, however, you aren’t crafty, head over to Michaels on Pleasant Valley Rd. They have all kinds of kid-geared workshops and craft sessions.

Don’t focus on the commercialism if that’s your excuse….um, if that puts you off. Make it your own. Make it about home, family and love.

]]>http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/01/why-celebrating-valentines-day-is-a-good-idea/feed/3How to Get Kids to Do What You Wanthttp://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/01/how-to-get-kids-to-do-what-you-want/
http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2011/01/how-to-get-kids-to-do-what-you-want/#commentsFri, 14 Jan 2011 16:27:41 +0000http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/?p=4349A parent’s eternal struggle: getting our kids to do what we want! Bribe? Take away privileges? Spank? Generally speaking, children respond better to positive reinforcement (rather than punishment). This means putting a behavior modification system in place in your home. I know, sounds totally exciting right?? In addition, in order to make this work, you […]

Generally speaking, children respond better to positive reinforcement (rather than punishment). This means putting a behavior modification system in place in your home. I know, sounds totally exciting right?? In addition, in order to make this work, you must also have Consistency (with a capital “C”!). Consistency sucks. It is the bane of my existence as a parent, the thorn in my side, the niggle I try to ignore.

Ever hear of Pavlov’s dogs? Pavlov set up this sadistic experiment in which dogs were placed in a box that had a lever and a chute. Some dogs had chutes that always dispensed treats when they hit the lever with their nose. Some dogs had treats dispensed sporadically. This meant that maybe 4 times out of 10, they’d get a treat. And the last group of dogs had a whole lot of nothin’ coming out of their chutes. The dogs who always got treats began eagerly hitting that lever until they were totally full on treats. They got it: do this, get that. Cause, effect. I am the cause, the treat follows. After a while though, they got bored and lazy because it was so predictable. The last group of course, ceased hitting the lever after just a few tries cuz hey, they weren’t getting anything out of it! But the second group, they hit the lever more than anyone because they never knew when they’d get rewarded for their appropriate behavior. They would obsessively hit the lever, probably thinking, “It gives me a treat sometimes, I know it does!! Three hits ago, I got a treat. This DOES work. One more time, just one more time….” Pavlov created canine gambling addicts basically.

What does this mean for us as parents? I have no idea, I just thought it was a cool story.

No, really, it means we must be consistent if we want quick results AND positive reinforcement is the best way to go about this. Will our kids become lazy about their appropriate behaviors (i.e. manners, doing chores without asking, etc). Yep. Then we start the system over again, give them new “treats” to be excited about to get them back on track. But we also remind them as they are winding down on a particular chart or almost finished filling a marble jar, that they should be doing these things because it is good for them and good for their family and that the incentive was just to get them into a good habit. Otherwise the incentive becomes, well, habit-forming.

Now, some people don’t like this idea, as it reminds them too much of dog training (I wonder why…) but think of it this way: you are reinforcing a behavior until it becomes a good habit so you don’t have to nag them so much and ….there was another reason…oh right, so they become good productive adults when they are older who can take care of themselves. Got it.

Game Token designed by Lara T. Permission to reproduce for private/home use ONLY.

I find the best way to do this is to take something they really love to do (for our boys it is hands down playing the Wii) and only let them have it when they’ve earned it. For Gabe, for a while, it was using the potty. I created little paper tokens for one hour of game playing. Every time he went on the potty, he got a token. He was fully potty trained in a week after months, looooonnngg months I tell you, of near daily accidents and crying fits (although I stopped doing that after a while).

For Ian, it has been an arduous struggle with his school behavior. They have a green, yellow, red system in place. If he comes home in the yellow or red, no games. If he comes home in the green, he gets a token. Here’s where consistency comes in: I have to remember to give him the token, set the timer when he wants to play, and collect a token when he’s “spent” it.

Once you get kids into a routine, they are pretty insistent on it, so do something simple and manageable. Also, and this is key, only tackle one behavior at a time! Ignore the other behavior you are having issues with or tie them all together: your biggest pet peeve is cleaning their room but your child isn’t so keen on brushing teeth or setting the table either? Do a chart for the day, with a list of behaviors that have to be accomplished in order to receive a token. Otherwise, if you have multiple systems set up for multiple issues, it will be confusing, complicated, harder to maintain and ultimately less effective because there is no focus. This idea can be applied to even the scariest behaviors, such as hitting or biting or not staying in bed.

However, the system will always succeed or fail based on the behavior of you the parent, not the child. Don’t deviate from the system midway. Don’t change up the rules or add on behaviors before you’ve gotten the first one under control. Focus focus focus people! And be patient. Be ready to do this for as long as it takes. And for those of you tackling a behavior you’ve been struggling with for a long time, it will take an equally long time to instill the new behavior! But you can do it!!

A great book to help you set up your system is Rewards for Kids! Ready-to-Use Charts & Activies for Positive Parenting by Virginia M Shiller, PhD. It is available at BarnesandNoble.com, but apparently, it is out of stock in every Barnes and Noble store from here to Virginia—no lie! When I tried to look for other local stores selling it, I get nothing but websites for the book but several have free shipping! This book includes a slew of charts as well as lots of anecdotes about how to use them. The book is set up to discuss particular behavior issues, with several different stories about the same or similar issues, followed by which chart was used and how. I found it incredibly helpful and we’ve used charts from this several times now!

Responsibility

Your other option, depending on the behavior, is using a responsibility chart and you can buy those ready to go! Melissa and Doug make a great wooden one! I buy my Melissa and Doug stuff at Kids Klothes Consignment nowadays. They have a great selection and seem to be always running sales!

All in all, you, as the parent, you need to get creative, utilizing what your child loves, keep it positive and simple, keep it consistent and you will do well!

Used positive reinforcement yourself? Share what works for you in the comments section!

“Got it,” I told her, smiling at how similar this was to my pep talk to her when she started. I remembered her flushed face and jumbled nerves. Now, my stomach was clenching.

Doubt flooded me. What was I doing here? I’ve never been athletic. Never been one to join in a sport. I almost turned around.

But then I saw Benny smiling at me from the bench. Jon already was on the mat. And Emma was beside me.

“Ready, Mama?” Emma asked. This was a Saturday family lesson, so we would take this class together. She grinned again, and I knew she loved being the one who knew what to do. I could see that she was proud of me, too.

So I swallowed my nerves, bowed with my daughter, stepped onto the mat, and practiced what I preached.

Beth Vrabel lives in West Manchester Township with her daughter, Emma, 7, and son, Benny, 4.

From our Facebook fan page

What we posted: Think back: What was the best gift you got as a child, the one that kept you up all night with your fingers crossed that Santa (or Mom and Dad) got the message?

What you posted:

Erica Hamilton: Rub-a-Dub Dolly! I was so bummed when Santa didn’t bring it. Then my grandma came over later in the day and brought it! There’s a picture of me with my mouth wide open in happy surprise!

Alexandra Knaub: There were these dolls that, when you made their cheek wet, showed a kiss. When you opened the box there was the possibility that a note would be in there telling you that your doll had a twin. I wanted the doll AND a twin so bad and thought I would die when I found her under the wrapping paper and then saw the twin card!!

Kathleen Cunningham Smith: April Showers! She was a doll that came with her own tub/shower and you could use real water. Then, of course, she would go to the bathroom and you had to change her diaper. Oh, and a play kitchen!

]]>http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2010/12/smart-mama-kung-fu-mama/feed/2Smart Mama: Who’s the (real) boss?http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2010/12/smart-mama-whos-the-real-boss/
http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2010/12/smart-mama-whos-the-real-boss/#commentsFri, 03 Dec 2010 19:15:01 +0000http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/?p=4154By LAURA BURKEY Smart Mama I’m a first-time mom. My daughter, Amelia — Mia for short — was born during a record-breaking heat wave July 24. I returned to work when she was 10 weeks old. Now, I’m a sleep-deprived full-time editor stumbling through meetings and production deadlines on a weekly basis. But Amelia is […]

At home, dismantled baby bottles now fill the drying rack, where wine glasses once sat.

And those pleading eyes on our beagle, Lucy, look even more forlorn as laps to snuggle on are few and far between.

My husband, Brent, and I thought we had the 411 on our newest addition. We took the classes — infant CPR, baby massage, breastfeeding, labor — and we fixed up the nursery, complete with a hanging monkey decal.

And now that she’s here, all of the advice has flown out the window with my mascara. It’s now Amelia’s world, and I’m just along for the ride.

My goal in life? To keep her happy.

I spend hours rocking, feeding, shushing, playing, diapering. I run through the gamut of what-could-it-be when tears spill from her hazel eyes.

And I finally receive my paycheck when a coy little smile spreads across her face.

]]>http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2010/12/smart-mama-whos-the-real-boss/feed/0Catastrophe avoidedhttp://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2010/11/catastrophe-avoided/
http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/2010/11/catastrophe-avoided/#commentsWed, 24 Nov 2010 15:18:03 +0000http://smartmamapa.todaysmama.com/?p=4064Six ways to know that an in-home day care provider isn't going to work out. (Plus, bonus info on how to do an at-home background check)

Noah’s first day of preschool yesterday went swimmingly: no biting, no tantrums, plenty of lunch- and snack-eating.

Let’s talk about how much more worried I could have been yesterday, and why.

Our first try at finding new day care for Noah was to visit another in-home day care provider. She was nice; not Linda — not even close — but nice. And the hour we spent at her home talking with her wasn’t unpleasant.

But things started to stack up against her.

First, she wasn’t licensed. Which meant my ability to claim what I paid her for child care on my taxes was limited, if not nonexistent.

Second, she had an unneutered male dog who looked slightly malnourished and wasn’t vaccinated (and, according to this woman, had fleas she couldn’t seem to get rid of).

Third, she had gotten toys out for Noah and Sam to play with while we talked, and all of them were much too babyish. They were bored in fewer than 20 minutes.

Fourth, she didn’t have reliable transportation. Her SUV had been at some guy’s shop for two months, and he never fixed it, so they took it back and her husband was gonna work on it that weekend and it was probably the fuel pump but he wasn’t 100 percent sure so he was gonna just put one in and see if that fixed it, although he’d never put in a fuel pump before but it shouldn’t be that hard and in the meantime she hadn’t been out of the house in three weeks and boy, haha, was she starting to go a little stir-crazy, and if putting in the fuel pump didn’t work then they were gonna hafta shop around for another car but that could take a few weeks to find one, so she wasn’t sure if she’d have any transportation for at least a few more weeks.

Fifth, I ran the couple’s names through UJSPortal, an online, searchable database of Pennsylvania criminal records. I discovered she hadn’t filed taxes in two years, had a problem with repeated bad checks and had, for some unexplainable reason, gotten the same weird parking ticket four days in a row in 2008.

And then, the final ax: Her husband had been convicted of simple assault in 1991.

Vincent Dellinger, 6, wants his independence. His mama wants some piece of mind.

By SAMANTHA DELLINGER
Smart Mama

My 6-year-old son, Vincent, is growing faster than I like sometimes.

I will admit it’s nice that he can climb into his car seat and fasten the buckle.

He helps set the table at mealtime. And, if you can believe this, he keeps his room cleaner than his 17-year-old sister keeps hers.

But, along with his newfound grown-up responsibilities, he’s also requesting more independence. And it’s a little bittersweet.

“I want to walk home by myself,” Vincent announced to the family recently.

My immediate response was a flat “No.“

“Why?”

My next immediate response — and not a good one — was the “Because I said so” bit.

Vincent whined another “why” and turned toward his dad. That’s what kids do. If they don’t get the response they want from one parent, they move on to the other one.

“We’ll see,” William said.

I gave William my silent death stare.

Vincent flashed a smile and left the room.

I protested to William that there was no way we were letting our 6-year-old son walk several yards from the bus stop to our house alone. Of course, when I was about Vincent’s age I walked much farther on my own from school to home, but Vincent doesn’t need to know that.

“We can’t always protect him all the time,” William said.

“Why not?”

“Don’t worry. I won’t let him walk home alone,” he said.

When I came home from work the next night, Vincent greeted me with a big smile.

“Mom, I walked home from the bus by myself!” he said.

“You did?” Trying my best not to sound too aggravated.

“Yeah!”

“OK, well, go play,” I told him, thinking that I was going to find my husband and have a few choice words with him.
“How could you let Vincent walk home alone?” I asked William.

“I didn’t,” he said. “ I drove the car to the bus stop. I followed him in the car a couple of paces behind and let him walk to the house on his own.”

“Oh.” I said.

“See, I told you I wouldn’t let him walk home alone. And I should tell you, at one point he stopped and asked me which way to go.”

It turned out to be a good compromise for both son and mom.

Vincent got his independence, and I got my peace of mind back.

Samantha Dellinger is the graphic designer for Smart. For more Smart Mama columns, visit www.smartmamapa.com.

From our Facebook fan page

What we posted: What’s the best children’s cough medicine for kids? I gave my 7-year-old Delsum last night and it didn’t seem to help.

What you posted:

Staci Wise: Just a spoonful of honey (assuming the child is over 1 year) is the best thing we’ve found, as well as warm liquids like decaf tea with a little added honey. The honey coats their throats and helps with the coughing. A bonus is it tastes good, and you don’t have to worry about drug interactions or spacing dosing!

Megan Couch Southwel: Vicks VapoRub on feet and put socks over that.Carol Shafer: Are they coughing because of postnasal drip? If so, you may want to try something that will dry up the nose or sinuses and use a humidifier in their bedroom. Oh, and also check the organic section in Giant. They have a good selection of organic teas for all sorts of cold symptoms. We love “throat coat” for sore throats

Shannon Faircloth: Honey! My son just got over a cough, and I was giving him cough medicine, and it wasn’t working. I gave him a teaspoon of honey and *poof* it stopped til a few hours later and then I just gave him more!