i am a FF writter i have writtin 'Trials and Tribulations'and 'Fixed By An Angel, and Only The Angel Knows. i try to update often the only thing to keep me from updateing would be writters block.

i am however a huge twilight fan, before anyone askes i am team edward.i love reading so i read ALOT of fics. i have a Wild imagination, however my spelling and punctuation suck...:).my favorite fics are B/E but i also enjoy Jasper/B for some odd reason. i write all week long and read none stop friday through sunday.

i am a 27 year old single mom with 2 boys who i love with my whole heart. i write all day while they are in school, then play with them when they come home.

ok i think thats enugh about me. if you want to know more... i have a little saying~ you can always ask.-just PM me.

things i have found: other author's pages.

╔══╦══╦══╗ I have been diagnosed║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you have it too

My FB friend had this:

*a friend will stick up for you and calm you down when you're mad, but a best friend will skip alongside you with a shovel giggling "someones gonna get it! "*

Thanks exm15 for letting me have these on here.

26 Things My Mother Taught Me...

1. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle ofnext week!"

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to thestore with me."

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don'thave wonderful parents like you do."

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze thatway."

18. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.

"You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more.”

25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.

"If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay."

26. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finishedcleaning."

'Never Argue With A Woman'

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could startat any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

~Boys are like Slinky's. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

~A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a Best Friend will be sitting next to you saying "Let's do it again!"

~Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity got framed.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we fucked up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

So, I'm a little crazy.You're a little dead, but I don't keep throwing that up in your face."I had to admit she made a valid point. I was still wary, but we out numbered her at least. After all, how much trouble could one small human possibly be. OOC/AU

Jasper is a surf bum trying to escape his past, Bella is a graduate student trying to find her future. Will a chance meeting during a surf tournament pull them under for the last time? AH/AU/non-Canon/ rated M for lemons, language, themes

Bella Swan has moved to Seattle to start a new job and hopefully a new life. There she meets Dr. Edward Cullen. Will she be able to keep this strictly a work relationship or will she let her feelings for him show.

AU/AH: Bella, Edward and the usual suspects are adults living in Seattle. They hit it off after a klutzy accident and E awakens B's ovaries, who never hesitate to voice their pervy opinion in B's head. Rated M for language and lemons.

Since she was seven, Bella has been abused, and tortured. After her parents were murdered and she taken. A police force found her chained to a wall. What happens when a family of vampires become her foster family? ExB Canon pairs! ABUSE RAPE! CAUTION

After the Cullens leave Forks, a twist of fate lands Bella in Chicago in 1918. She thinks it's a second chance to build a life with Edward, but when she finds him, he's not quite what she expected. Can Bella create the future she's hoping for?

What was the real story behind Jasper's almost-attack on Bella at the birthday party? And what does it have to do with a mysterious history project? Bella & Jasper eventually, with plenty of Darkward thrown in for good measure. M for language.

Peter and Char find Bella…they know she is the Major's mate… When the time comes for them to finally meet…will they fall in love or will he stay devoted to a family that doesn't seem him in the same light? Twist turns and Volturi!

Part One of The Whitlock Saga. Decisions change lives. What happens when a series of decisions set you on the path to become a completely different person? When Edward decides to return life has already moved on.

Bella Swan, 18,virgin, learns about lust in a dark cinema with a beautiful stranger.What does she teach him? Varied lemons acted or reminisced t suitable for the faint hearted. There is a plot!Warning Jasper and Alice very OOC. Not cookie cutter.ta'd by Mandee,from Utah. I'd have no idea how far is not too far for American readers if not for her guidelines.

After a disastrous blind date, a issue with a chocolate cake & a annoyed Alice! The girls & guys start something with an out come none of them saw coming! featuring- sleep talking, pranking wars, water park fun & a Xmas never to be Forgotten. COMPLETE!

A botched rescue attempt leaves Bella knowing too much. She ends up kidnapped, unable to return to her life because of an odd boy who has what everyone calls 'episodes' around her. She thinks of him as her innocent captor.

Jasper Hale...A lowly English Barman gets more than he could ever have imagined in his quiet uninteresting life when he stumbles upon a bloody, bruised and unconcious woman in the woods on his way home one night...What will she be like when she awakens?

Bella wants Edward...the only problem is, he's a counselor at her summer camp. And although Bella has always been one of Edward's favorite campers, that's all she'll ever be to him...right? When Bella returns as a counselor, can she change his mind? AH.

Edward Masen was brought up in a world where responsibility to your family and class was everything. Tired of the endless pursuits of women he becomes more and more jaded. That is until, he meets his match…..

Bella has now moved to Forks, Washington to hide. She lives with the Cullens for protection. Edward, the adopted son who she shares a room with becomes her only true friend, and feelings start to form but will either be able to accept the feeling of love?

Sequel to Bella's Revenge. Bella has been abducted. Edward is determined to find her before she's killed, changed...or falls in love. How can he ever forgive the one who did it? The one he trusts. The one known as...Jasper. Rated M for lemons.

E&B strangers who lie to each other to spend an amazing sex filled week together, but their real lives are more connected than imaginable and not everyone likes that. E&B AH/AU. Story full TTS characters, love, lust, lemons, and laughs. Gets suspenseful.

Bella met Edward in Junior year at Forks High. Seven years later, and they are blissfully happy, married, ready for a family. Edward went for cigarettes and never came home. He now lives in a coven of vampires, the Cullens. Can he ever return to Bella?M

Sequel to An Absent Pulse. Their happily ever after was in their reach, until a family secret that nobody saw coming intercedes. One secret can change everything. Can Bella and Edward still have their happy after or will the new change ruin everything?

By pretending she is falling for Edward, Bella is fulfilling Esme's dying wish. But sexy, possessive Edward can read her mind. Will she ever get into his? Can Bella forget the pain of her teenage years, and can she resist his relentless seduction? AH.

COMPLETE. Preternaturally irresistible, devastatingly charming Edward Cullen seems to have some strange power over the females in Forks…and Bella is scared she might know just what it is.M for language & naughty fun. Part mystery, part drama, all Edward.

Edward and Bella meet one cloudy May morning at their neighborhood coffee bar. Little do they know that they have actually been conversing for several months under assumed names. Collaboration between CPW and FLB11. M for language and lemony goodness.

How could one night of drunk, unexpected, unprotected, steamy passion with your best friend's brother, who is taken, who took your virginity, lead to a pregnancy at 16 years of age? Everything changed with just one break of a barrier. All Human B/E A/J

Edward and Bella were once high school sweethearts. Years later, their lives converge unexpectedly, forcing Bella to deal with and accept things she's long since tried to move past. This story started with "Trampoline", once a WitFit prompt.

Edward Cullen is in desperate need of a nanny after his wife walks out on him and their five-year-old son. Bella Swan is a teacher with no job prospects. Can she find her true place in the world while helping father and son overcome their pain? AH

Edward,once a geek, and Bella secretly crushed on each other since high school. Can their 10 year reunion bring them together? Is one night enough to squelch a decade old passion or will it fan the flames into an unquenchable fire. Lemmony/AU/AH/B&E

Isabella Swan is sent to live in France with a distant cousin after being kicked out of her English home by her closest family...However when the cousin she stays with dies unexpectedly after a week she has to find a way to survive on her own.

Bella and her son move to Forks for a fresh start. Emmett is a widower with three daughters of his own. Their lives intertwine when Emmett becomes her son's peewee football coach. How will their new relationship affect the children? AH. Rated M.

Womanizing Edward has been told to stay away from his band's new lead singer, Bella. But with their instant attraction and obvious chemistry, how can he adhere to that? OOC. AU-H. Rated M for naughty humor, intensely bad behavior, language, and sexing.

After four years in a bad relationship, and two years of depressed seclusion, Alice and Rosalie drag best friend Bella on a tropical vacation designed by fate. AH OOC. B/E, R/Em, A/J. Rated M for future lemony goodness and occasional strong lang.PLS R&R

AU/AH: Seven years have passed since Edward and Bella last saw each other. Now, with Edward's return to Seattle, Bella wonders what drove away her brother's best friend all those years ago. *More detailed summary included with chapter 1.

Bella, a fifteen year old only-child ends up in a Phsyciatric hospital after she is taken from her mother, until she is adopted by Dr Cullen to join his family...What will Bella think of her new family? Are they all as perfect as they seem to be?

Valentine's Day approaches, but Bella chooses to hang out with her best friend Alice. They decide to boycott Valentine's Day. Non-Valentine's Day activites are planned, including no boys. But, Alice's brothers, Edward and Emmett, don't count, right?

Bella Swan is homeless in one of the worst winters Seattle has seen. When hope is gone, and things take a turn for the worst a mysterious stranger steps in to help, turning her life upside down. Changing her life forever. AH/AU

Two years after her marriage to Jacob Black ends, 37-year-old single mom Bella buys a house. Will the handsome single dad next door help her learn to love again? Or will Edward’s presence in their life only reinforce Renee’s trauma-induced silence?

Teddy's secret and magical childhood is lost when a family heirloom is destroyed, changing his life forever. Now an adult, can Edward open himself back up to magic and love when he meets a beautiful - and hauntingly familiar - woman in real life?

Edward is an exotic male dancer. Bella is a college student studying psychology and needs a subject to do her thesis on. Bella pays Edward to belong to her for 2 weeks so she can study him. Things soon get very interesting between them.

This story starts off after Edward rebuffs Bella's modest advances in their newly acquired bed in Edward's room. But things take a turn for the better for these two lovesick kids when Alice takes things into her own hands. Never bet against Alice!