Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (May 25, 2007)

RACHEL HUNTER NEEDS A SOUP CHEF
Rachel Hunter plays a lesbian! Leisha Hailey plays a heterosexual! Has the world gone mad? Former rock wife (of Rod Stewart) and supermodel Rachel Hunter will star in La Cucina (The Kitchen) as Jude, a sage lesbian who whips up a fancy meal for her lover, Celia, (Clare Carey of Jericho) while offering advice to her lovelorn heterosexual neighbor Shelly (The L Word‘s Leisha Hailey).

Here’s a recent photo of Hunter:

and one of Carey:

You already know what Leisha Hailey looks like. And if you don’t, well, you should.

Unfortunately, the Jude/Shelly/Celia storyline is not the centerpiece of the film, but one of several intertwining plots. While it’s great to know that there’s a movie with a couple of lesbian characters on the typically bleak cinematic horizon, and that Hailey is getting work that doesn’t involve hawking dairy products, it’s not clear if the lesbian couple is going to have a happy ending. According to the film’s synopsis, "Shelly finds Jude lost in her passion, preparing an elaborate Italian meal for her and long-time lover Celia who is destined not to make it home for dinner."

Is Celia working late at the office? Working late with on an office mate? Fated to suffer a tragic end? We’ll have to wait to find out.

DESPERATE SOUND BITEYou might have seen the lame attempt that was made this week to incorporate some lesbian innuendo into Desperate Housewives.

Someone should tell Eva Longoria not to tease (or feed) the lesbians. While this bit was scripted for her, Longoria herself allegedly talks about lesbianism a lot. She told GQ that she had a crush on her friend Eva Mendes (though in that case, can you blame her?), announced that she regretted not having a "full-on gay experience" before settling down with boyfriend Tony Parker, and pushed for DH to develop a lesbian romance between her character, Gabrielle, and neighbor Bree (Marcia Cross).

We get it Eva — you dig us, and we’re flattered. But we’re just not that into you.