It wasn't as though the house at 12 Grimmauld Place was small. In fact, it was quite huge. But most of it was empty rooms, and it was only the front part, with its central staircase and many landings, that was used for lodgings and, in one or two cases, laboratories. Not many people actually lived there; really just Harry and Sirius, and Remus most of the time.

It was like living at school, or in a small town; sooner or later you found out everything.

Harry was just glad Hermione wasn't there. After all, he knew she nursed something of a small crush on Professor Lupi -- on Remus. And although Harry would have loved someone to be there, so that they could discuss just how shocked they were, he felt as though having Ron or Moody or anyone else with him would have disturbed Sirius' privacy.

"Harry," Remus said, pushing Sirius away from him quite suddenly. Both men looked flushed, and Remus' hair was touseled, not at all in its usual neat state. "Did you ah..."

Sirius, Harry noted, was breathing heavily.

"...did you need something?" the brown-haired man continued.

Harry, eyes wide, shook his head slowly.

"Harry, this isn't what you think it is," Sirius said slowly.

"You're shagging," Harry blurted.

Remus rubbed the back of his head. "Not at the moment," he murmured. Harry saw Sirius stifle a grin.

"It's okay," Harry continued. "I mean I know all about this stuff..."

"Do you now?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow. Harry blushed.

"Not personally," he muttered. "I mean, I'm fine with it."

"That's...good," Sirius said slowly. "Erm."

"I'll....just be going then..." Harry backed out of the kitchen, wondering if he would ever blink again. When he was out of sight, he heard Sirius' low voice, and Remus' in reply, and a quiet, affectionate laugh that could have come from either man.

He was a little more disturbed the second time.

He wouldn't have been, if it'd still been Sirius. But it wasn't. He could quite clearly hear, through the shelves in the library, that Tonks was saying something, and Remus was replying, and then Tonks was, well, was moaning something, and Remus wasn't saying much of anything...

Still, he reckoned Sirius probably knew, since Tonks was his cousin, and if Sirius knew and was okay with it, well, it wasn't any of Harry's business, was it?

Harry decided, when he went to ask Remus if he could borrow a book and found Severus Snape asleep in his bed, with the werewolf wrapped comfortably around him, that it was time to make it his business. For Sirius' sake.

It was ironic, really, that his constant vigilance resulted in the discovery of Remus Lupin doing obscene things to Mad-Eye Moody in the sun-room. He didn't say anything -- he was trying too hard to repress the sight.

And he was, although vigilant his Remus Watch, not expecting that if he walked in on the middle of an Order meeting between Remus and the twins, that he would find, well, Remus...and the twins.

He didn't think he'd be able to look Ron in the face for a long, long time.

"Hermione," he said, over the third or fourth butterbeer he had downed in a row, the afternoon he intruded on Remus and the twins, "I want you to do something for me."

"Yes, Harry?" she asked, looking up from her summer homework.

"If you ever see me open a door without knocking again, even if it's a bloody sliding-glass-door, I want you to say 'twins' to me, okay?"

Hermione lifted an eyebrow delicately. "Twins?"

"Yes," Harry said firmly. "Twins. And if I curl up in a foetal position, just let me lie there and shiver for a while."

Poor Hermione. After that she really should have been clued-in to the need to lock the door before asking Professor Lupin for some private tutoring.

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Ha. Hahaha! I think I'm going to go off and send this link to everyone in my address book. But in the second to last paragraph, is that meant to be 'fatal' posistion? Or do you really spell it 'foetal'? I don't think so, anyway.

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"foetus" is actually a prescriptive hypercorrection. The Classical Latin word is "fetus". In the Middle Ages, Latin spellings were simplified, and many cases of ae or oe were reduced to e. Occasionally, these were reversed, and sometimes words were "reversed" that had never had the dipthong in the first place. Because it occurred so long ago, "foetus" is considered the standard British spelling - but it's only so because of a medieval error. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypercorrection#Latin

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Just re-read it ... I missed this the last time:Poor Hermione. After that she really should have been clued-in to the need to lock the door before asking Professor Lupin for some private tutoring.*snerk* But why is Remus with everyone? I mean, Moody??

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It was ironic, really, that his constant vigilance resulted in the discovery of Remus Lupin doing obscene things to Mad-Eye Moody in the sun-room. He didn't say anything -- he was trying too hard to repress the sight.

I thought I would die. No, really. Especially at the end. I'm still rolling.

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good lord, that made me giggle :Premus, what a sex beast. you never would have thought it!lollll. thanks for this, cheered me right up!i should probably get a livejournal account so that when i comment all your stories, you can tell it's me. atm they're all just anonymous. i feel like an anonymous stalker now. o.O oh dear.when i do get an account, i'm going to pretend these comments weren.t mine :Panyway.funnyyy! :D