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Monday, May 21, 2018

Last Friday will definitely
go down in our family’s history as one of the most amazing and exciting days of
our lives. I woke up last Friday and felt I needed to write a bit about this pregnancy
and what I was going through. I always feel so much support from those of you
out there who read my blog and I needed some loving arms around me. I spent the
morning writing and it felt validating. Writing helped me clarify my thoughts
even more and I felt capable in this pregnancy journey. I was having a boy, I
was half way through and I was overcoming some difficult emotional, physical
and spiritual tests. Life was good.

I published my blog post (you can read that post here) and
later that afternoon, headed down to Phoenix
for my first ultrasound. At 20 weeks, I knew they could and would determine the
gender, but through a blood test at 12 weeks, I already knew it was a boy. My
friend Chandra was in town, so along with Eden
and Canyon there with me, the ultrasound tech lead us to the room and we got
started. She checked measurements, we listened to the heartbeat and then she
started checking to confirm gender. Now, when I took the blood test from a
company called SneakPeak, there was a
stipulation in the set of instructions. It said the test, which I could conduct
from the comfort of my own home, would be 99% accurate. The instructions also
said to not have the packaging handled by a male, not to conduct the blood test
in a bathroom that a male had recently used and to scrub your hands, including
underneath your fingernails to prevent any contamination. Wanting an accurate
read, I left my house, my five boys, my boy-dominated bathrooms and went down
to my parents with the test. My sister Anna was in town for Easter and she helped
me follow the instructions perfectly and conduct the test. After washing my
hands with hot water and soup, scrubbing my fingernails and drying my hands on
paper towels just out the package, I went into the bedroom where Anna was
staying, pricked my finger with a little contraption in the Sneak Peak box, and
slowly watched as little drops of my blood filled a small vile. When finished,
we snapped the lid on the container, placed the blood sample in a box, sealed
it and off it went to the post office. I couldn’t wait for the results
confirming I was having a girl. As you all know, that wasn’t the case. Just a
few days later, it was confirmed in an email that my blood work, as the email
stated showed with “100% accuracy” I was having a boy. Signed, sealed, delivered
– a little boy was on his way.

I know very few people put so
much emphasis on the gender of their baby, but I have a story about this baby
and it just wasn’t fitting the narrative I had been feeling and quite frankly,
witnessing.

After I had Canyon, I was
done having babies. Six children, five boys and one girl was great and Canyon
was healthy and strong. Eden
was a trooper and loved having a baby brother. Through intermittent fasting (you can read about that here), I
got my health back, I was moving along in my writing goals, I’d published 3 very
personal books and a coloring book in 2 years, I opened a publishing house, was
traveling, speaking, working with Rising Star India and I passionately
wanted to travel there to meet the girls I cared so deeply about. Canyon turned
two and potty-trained himself, he was more and more independent each day and
life had returned to a lovely routine. I’d made it out alive, so to speak when
on Thanksgiving day, I found out a dear friend of mine had suffered a heart
attack, fallen and had a brain bleed. His chances of survival were practically
zero. Derek and I committed to fasting the next day for him and so powerful was
that fasting experience I decided to do another 30-day fast in which I would
fast 16-18 hours a day. This meant I would fast every day until Christmas. The
experience immediately took on a very spiritual purpose. I couldn’t wait to
feel closer to my Savior and Heavenly Father, especially over the holidays.

On the third day of my fast,
I prayed for my friend in the hospital when a feeling overcame me. “Pray for a
baby,” the prompting said. What? I wasn’t even thinking about having another
baby. Was this about adopting a little girl? “Pray to have a baby,” I felt
again. Wow, I knew enough about how God speaks to me to understand I needed to
obey this prompting, so I did. In that quiet moment, I opened my mouth and
prayed for a baby. What happened left me speechless. A love came over me so
strong, so powerful that not only did I pray for a baby, I plead for her. And I
knew it was her. I could feel this wonderful opportunity that this was a gift I
was asking for, even pleading for. Derek and I had tried adopting a girl from India a year
earlier, but because of our age (we were too old), we didn’t quality. Did God
have something else in mind? My prayer became fervent and when I was finished,
I wondered what had just happened. I carried on with my day, checked in with my
friend’s husband and he was slowly making progress. He wasn’t out of the woods
yet, but he was stable. The next day, as I neared the end of my fast, I went
into pray. Again, the feeling came strongly over me, “Pray you will have a
baby.” Again, I opened my mouth and spoke to Heavenly Father, “Please grant me
this baby,” I plead. The love that poured over me left me in tears, like
sobbing. I knew who she was. I wanted her so bad. I'd seen her in a dream and so had Eden. Would God really grant her to me, to our family? This experience
happened one more time, the next day and I finally told Derek. This wonderful
husband of mine, who has loved and nurtured me since the day we meet,
completely was on board, but was I? Logic set in. This was crazy. I was 45
years old. Could I even get pregnant? And would I have a girl? After having
five boys, it certainly didn’t seem possible. I did some research and found at
my age, there’s about a 4% chance of becoming pregnant without some sort of
fertility help. There were ways to "try to have a girl", timing ovulation, changing the bodies alkalinity, etc., but I was skeptical. And yes, I was doing well, but things were still challenging in
my home. I had two particular boys who seemed to be “testing” most of the time,
a son graduating and preparing to leave on a mission, a cherished daughter who
I was eager to spend as much time with as possible and a two year old who still
wanted to be carried, cuddled and well, be the baby. Before all this happened,
I was thinking of going back to school for a master’s degree and really pushing
through on some of my career goals. Publishing books, working, traveling,
volunteering, and so on. Did a baby really fit into the equation? No, but deep
down I knew she was there and I wanted her more then anything else. God had
told me if I asked, she could be mine.

This is why the results I was
having a boy completely through me off kilter. Not only had I prayed for a
girl, not only did I get pregnant right away, but I had been told a girl was coming to me. It’s one thing to ask God
for a particular blessing, it’s another to be told by the spirit to prayer for
a special blessing God has in store for you. I was instructed to pray for a
baby, for her. I can’t think when I’ve ever been told by the spirit to pray for
a specific purpose. Usually, when I pray for something, those desires come from
my own heart.

So, there I lay at this
ultrasound last Friday knowing the test originally said 99% accuracy, but my
email confirming the blood work said male DNA was 100% detected in my blood
stream. In my mind, I didn’t even have the 1% chance the test was inaccurate
and I’d let that ship sail months ago any way.There was no way I was having this girl, EVER and I'd accepted that, but the technician was
having a difficult time finding the gender, “I think the baby’s legs are
crossed,” she said. She had me get up, drink some more water, wait about 10
minutes and this time, she had me lay on my side. I wasn’t sure if all this was
to determine the gender, or for more measurements and I’d learned since having
six babies, just let the ultrasound tech do her job. Don’t ask a ton of questions,
she can’t say anything until a doctor looks at the results anyway.

“Tell me about this blood
test you took? How accurate are the results?” she asked. My heart skipped a
bit. What was she asking? Why?

Don’t even go there, Laura, I said to myself, but my heart was practically
beating out of my chest.

I told her the results were
99%, well according to my test, 100% accurate, and she continued her search.
“I’m just not finding any male parts on this baby and I’ve been looking,” and
she sounded determined. “I’m about 99% this baby isn’t a boy. This looks like a girl, but let me get my supervisor.”

The supervisor came in and
started searching. My eyes were glued to the screen.There was a little bum, two legs, but where
was the boy part? I’d seen enough ultrasounds confirming it’s a boy to know
what to look for, but nothing.

“Why don’t you turn and lay
on your other side,” the supervisor suggested. Like a beached whale (I’m
already that big), and now in a third different position, I rolled myself and that giant belly over, more searching
when she typed on the screen, “It’s a girl.”

“This is a little girl,” she
said and showed me the proof. I gasped. I practically choked. Chandra just
stared. I don’t think Eden
had a clue what was going on. “You’re having a girl,” the supervisor said enthusiastically
and at this point, there were about five other employees in the room. By now,
everyone in the clinic knew what was going on. I was speechless.

How could I say, “I knew it!
I’ve been told all along this is a girl. I have had signs every where, in
nature, in impressions, in dreams, she was a girl. I'd been told her name. I’ve
seen her. I know her. She’s mine. She’s always been mine. I’ve been searching
around the world and into eternity for her. God granted her to me. He told me
she was mine if only I asked. Of course she’s a girl!”

And physically, I’d felt so
different with this pregnancy. I wasn’t gaining crazy weight, like I had with
my boys. My nose wasn’t fat, my face wasn’t puffy. I wasn’t getting wide, but
instead my belly was sticking straight out. My hair was crazy thick and growing
so fast, my skin was nourished, my cravings were healthy and sugar made me sick.
This was way different then when I carried my boys.

But, I just quietly took it
all in – her warmth, her presence, her gift, her female spirit. She was real
and she was really coming. She was mine forever.

I feel like a princess. I
wake up and say out loud, “It’s a girl.” I say her name. I’m starting to open
up to my impressions again, to have faith in how God speaks to me, to be
vulnerable to whatever the spirit wants to tell me, to trust myself again.

I’m not ready to look
backwards, to consider how much this trial hurt my ability to understand my
impressions, to hope I handled it the best way possible, to know I would have
loved another boy with all my heart. This was a tough one and my sister-in-law
Sasha, who gifted me the gender reveal test feels awful. “Will you ever forgive
me,” she pleads and we just hugged and laughed. She’d used SneakPeak
for her recent pregnancy and it had been accurate. She has a precious 8-week
old baby boy to prove it. Now that I've done a bit more research into this type of blood test, I must have had some "boy" DNA on my hair, or perhaps my shirt that contaminated the blood work. I guess even leaving my home didn't clean out all the boys I have around me. “We’ll always have SneakPeak,”
I said to Sasha. She's already been to Target and cleaned out the girl section
for this baby. When I called my sister Becky, she cheered on in her usual fashion, always supporting me, always cheering me on. "I knew it," she said! On our date night, Derek and I stopped to pick up some of her
first outfits too.

(On our date Saturday night.)

It’s so surreal. Just last week at Goodwill, I found some
darling little boy clothes and there they are, sitting in a box in my closet. I’ve
already told Sasha I have a box of clothes and shoes for her little baby boy.

I’m so thankful I followed
through on what God told me to do. I am 45, pregnant, sick as a dog, some days
barely getting by, loving on my kids, preparing wholesome food when I can,
thankful beyond words, closer to my husband then I’ve ever been, living in a
state of gratitude and grace, and leaning on friends and family. I just marvel
at this life.

(My oldest and my youngest at church on Sunday.)

People keep reminding me I’ll be pregnant through an Arizona summer, but I’m
all in, praying for this little girl to be healthy and to know she’s loved from
here to heaven and back.

Friday, May 18, 2018

I have been very guarded with
my feelings during this pregnancy. Partially, because I was so very open and
vulnerable with how I felt during my pregnancy and delivery with Canyon.

Anyone
who has followed my blog would probably wonder why after such a difficult
pregnancy and delivery, many emotional breakdowns, health problems and most
likely a midlife crisis, why would I even consider getting pregnant again? Six
children is enough, plus I had Canyon at the ripe old age of 42, which was
already pushing the biological clock. Why take it all on again? The answer is
simple. Canyon has literally been the glue of our family, the constant joy and
laughter. He’s everyone’s best friend.

We all love seeing the world through his
eyes, through his language and laughter. He’s such a light in our family that I
have had love literally overflowing in my heart and I wondered, “Could I do it
again?” This ride is just too good. Let’s
bring on another little bundle of joy and see the blessings he or she can
bring.

Of course, I was certain I’d get
a she. After five boys, a girl can
slip through, right? Timing is everything. It was my time to have a girl. God
knows my heart, He hears my prayers. Let’s get Eden’s sister here after all. I went all in,
full faith, full on prayer, full on power of positive thinking and bam, she was
coming!

From the start, I’ve tried to be very positive.

(after getting my hair done last week)

Even when the morning sickness came and my bedroom started
spinning, because most days getting out of bed still is a major accomplishment.
Finally at around 10 weeks, the morning sickness was so bad I had to start on
medication, which left me even more tired, but I could do it. I know how great
the reward. I am a very driven person with many personal and professional
goals, but they could wait. I have physical fitness goals, but they could wait
too.

I knew what I was getting
myself into, but everyday, I do have to pick myself up. I can do this. I’m
strong enough. This was the right decision. I have so much support. My husband is
amazing.

I spent a lot of time outside, taking long walks and spending time
with my kids at the park. I found so much comfort in nature, in the wind, in
the sun, with birds. I felt like everything around me was there to comfort me,
to be my friend and send me encouragement. I would call my sister or mom and
tell them about my experiences, how the world around me was lifting me up and
validating what I was going through. It was amazing and magical.

(This painting really spoke to me.)

This little
girl I was carrying was full of love and the world was already celebrating her
arrival. Everybody, even the cashier at the store told me “You’re having a
girl. Oh, it’s obvious by how you’re carrying her.” My dad’s friend, a gentle
kind man who is very quiet spoke up one day and confirmed what he'd been feeling, “It’s a girl.” Everyone around me seemed
to be having the same impressions as I was.

When I found out I was having
a boy through a blood test at 12 weeks, it really shock my faith. You’d think
by now, I’d keep that window open, perhaps I could be having a boy, but no,
this was really tough for me. What happened? Why was this very special request to
have a girl denied? I immediately pushed away my intuition. It had failed me.
It was difficult not to become cynical. I didn’t want to see anymore birds,
especially humming birds which at the start of my pregnancy were around me all
the time. If you’ve read my book Starving Girl, you know I have had very special experiences with nature. I feel God
everywhere. I listen to my heart and follow promptings. Finding out this next
baby was a boy, it was like my personal inner guide had been completely wrong.
Would I ever learn to trust in my instincts again? Not trusting my intuition,
questioning my ability to read into the experiences around me, wondering why I
keep dreaming about this little girl and
I was told her name – I had to say good bye to her – forever, because this is the
last time I’ll be pregnant.

Boy. Hello, little boy. I want to know you. Who are
you? Are you alright? Do you know I love you? Even though I’m having a really difficult
time, I really do want you? I know your patient with me. I love you.

I’ve had a whole lot going on
emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, but I’ve stayed close to my
mom, my sister Becky, my husband, several close friends and when the days are
too tough, I reach out to them (or most of the time, they’re already there
reaching out to me). One very difficult day, I was very sick and could not get
out of bed when a neighbor came over. She recently returned from a mission in Africa and came to check in on me. She sat at my side and
poured out her heart, how she made it through nine pregnancies, how she relied
on God as a mother, how everything works out even during the difficult times.
Her visit felt like a gift from God and her faith still lifts me when the difficulties
of pregnancy take over everything. I’ve had visits, texts, encouraging
messages, food, love, support and more. I ran into a friend at the grocery
store who didn’t know I was pregnant yet and when I told her, she wrapped her
arms around me, offering encouragement and love. “I’m so proud of you,” she
said. I felt her love and support to the core.

(I'm wearing my feelings on my shirt. I love this guy so much.)

I’ve never been so sick, so
tired, so worn out, but not
overwhelmed. No, I’m very focused on my children right now, on loving those
around me, on taking long walks and reconnecting with nature and birds, water,
sun and wind.

I’m slowing trusting myself, trusting God knows what’s best for
me and trusting I’m strong enough to do this. I would do this again. I want
this precious boy and he knows that. I feel the baby moving and I tell him “I
love you.” He’s already brought joyful anticipation into our home. The kids can’t
wait to hold him, play with him and love him. Life is a beautiful path, not always
the path we thought we’d be on, but nonetheless, it’s simply beautiful.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

A few weeks ago, I spent most
of the week writing about the joys and challenges of raising boys.You see, we’ve overcome some pretty big
hurtles as a family and I was feeling somewhat confident in my boy-raising
skills. I don’t like to share personal details, but let’s just say boys have a
way of humbling a mother, making her decide if she’s going to fall apart or
become stronger.I’ve had my days of
falling apart, but more and more, I feel like I’m getting stronger.My boys and I are communicating better, they
all have amazing friendships with each other and the rewards are
plentiful.There’s a lot of laughter in
our home, good food, lots of exercise, weight lifting, completing homework successfully,
I’m mean, where on our way.I love
teenagers and I feel we’ve grown a lot as a family.My oldest son Chandler just received his
mission call to the Philippines,
he’s graduating from high school and has some great opportunities that await
him at ASU when he returns from his mission.

So, this blog post about
raising boys was just about finished. I wrote my tips and secrets to surviving
a house full of boys, when we had a major episode that reminded me, “No, Laura,
you are not out of the trenches.Who are
you to share how to raise boys when most days you are drowning in laundry,
tardy slips and sibling bickering?” I have high expectations and when they are not met, I take it very personally.

That blog post has been
deleted until further notice.

But the truth is, I’m so
proud of my boys.Each one is such an
incredible person, I want to share their successes, their personal victories,
their own “best” moments because I see these moments more and more.I am so thankful to be their mother and many
of these victories, I hold tenderly in my heart and ponder the grace of God,
the blessings of having such a wonderful and committed husband and the freedoms
of living in a land where the opportunities for success are
plentiful.

I’m expecting my 7th
child, a little boy due end of September. I spent the entire month of December
praying and fasting for a little girl.I’ve spent nearly two years of my life practicing daily intermittent fasting.I’ve read in the scriptures about how God
hears the prayers of mothers and can grant a child to a willing mother. Was I
willing? Had I done enough to petition the Lord for a daughter? Was I
deserving? And what about Eden, my little girl who had prayed countless prayers
for a little sister? I knew God would grant me my hearts desire.Isn’t belief faith? Aren’t we told to have
faith? I did. I knew she was coming this time.

Even at my age, I conceived a
child without a glitch and I couldn’t wait to tell the world the power of
prayer and fasting. I couldn’t wait to testify that dreams come true, to share
the light of my new baby daughter with others. It was the perfect ending to my story of
trying to adopt from India, how at our age, my husband and I didn't qualify to adopt,
how I cried for her until finally, I accepted she’s not coming from India,
maybe I could have another little girl on my own.My pregnancy with Canyon just about did me
in, but I’m stronger now, I knew I could do it.For her, I would go through another pregnancy.

Right away, I became sick with morning sickness. Some days, I didn't know how I was going to make it. The fatigue has been difficult, but I take long walks outside and spend lots of time at the park with Eden and Canyon. Spring in Arizona has been so beautiful and being outside helps. If I lay down, I feel worse, so I keep going and moving my body. I've been doing yoga almost every day and it helps with body aches.

And then, through a blood
test at 12 weeks we found out we are having a boy, our 6th boy.

I
was alone with my husband when we read the results of the blood test.Silence, breathless, shocked, he just held me
while I sorted out my feelings.Finally
he fell asleep, but I was up all night. Didn’t God know the plan?How much I needed this girl?Didn’t he hear all my prayers?What had I done wrong? Why wasn’t I worthy?
Through my tears, I asked many questions until finally I fell asleep.I woke up with swollen eyes. I returned the girl
clothes I’d been collecting.I didn’t
want to see any pictures of my friend’s beautiful little girls all dressed up,
doing summersaults, wearing flowers in their hair – no thank you.Just line me up for more trucks and
dinosaurs. I would be fine. But, for weeks, I wasn’t fine. It made me wonder, "When did I fall under the assumption that God answers every righteous prayer?" There are countless examples of prayers that are good and holy that are not answered. As I listened to General Conference, a leader of our church talked about our new prophet President Nelson. President Nelson's daughter Emily passed away from cancer in 1995 at the age of 37. Heartbreaking, President Nelson felt helpless not only as her father, but he was a medical doctor and an apostle. He still couldn't save her and his prayers to save his daughter's life went unanswered. This example really helped me to put things into perspective. God has His own plan and His own timing. It's up to us to trust in Him.

I didn’t know it was happening at first, but
it was like my “boy sensors” went on high alert.My five amazing sons, all wanted, darling, affectionate, funny, successful people, they
just take my breath away.I know their
not perfect, but they are mine and I will always fight for them. Their tall
stature and strong muscles, dedication to the gospel, passion for sports and exercise,
desire to do well in school, their fun friendships, their darling girlfriends, how
everyday they become more and more like their dad who I love and adore – I just
observed, completely humbled I am their mother. Yes, I’m here cooking food
(most days unless I'm too nautious), running them around to sports and school activities, friend’s
houses, church events, and on and on, but they are doing this too. Despite my
weaknesses, they are doing all they can to become the men God needs them to
be.My insecurities and mistakes haven’t messed them up.They are going to make it.Not only can I do this, I am doing this.

How do I feel about having
another son?I am in awe.I can’t believe it.

I am so thankful he is healthy and strong. I
am going to have some amazing daughter-in-laws some day.As a family, we continue to sponsors three
little girls in India.We love and pray for them.There are ways to support little girls
without giving birth to one.Hopefully
one day, Eden and I will sponsor 100 girls of India.That’s our goal, and if you’d like to
purchase our coloring book My 100 Daughters

Available on Amazon

or donate to Rising Star Outreach, that will help us
get there. Eden was thrilled to find out she's having another brother. She will be the little mommy helper to two darling baby brothers.

We have a name for our
son.I think about it and smile.I already feel very close to him. He came to
us and we love him with all our heart.I
can’t wait to hold him. He’s coming to a home ready to love and support
him. My friends and family are so supportive.

He has a daddy, a sister, brothers and a mother who
will hold him tenderly, attend to his needs and show him the way.I’ve worked things out with God. I trust He
knows what He’s doing and I’m so grateful to be having this little boy.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

On my way home from Utah this summer, I asked
a stranger at the airport to take a picture of me with my kids.

This was me, off the plane, pulling luggage,
dragging a car seat, baby on my head (stroller lost in baggage department and
was never found) waiting for my ride home.
This is the part of mothering that makes me feel like a circus
performer. I mean I had to do all this down an escalator.

I’ve had many of these moment
where multi-tasking is like an 8-course meal you cook, serve, eat and clean up
after, where there aren’t enough hands, not enough hours in the day and it
could either break me or make me. More and more, I see the humor in these
moments of utter chaos, the love, the commitment, the craziness. I think of my ancestors, the sacrifices they
made. I think of those who go without or
who carry babies on their backs while they work in a field and I’m like “Keep
it in perspective, girl. You’re just fine.”

In this picture, my muscles
were burning, my head pounding, my shoes hurt, I needed to pee, but I was a mom
so I kept it together.

Mothers are amazing work
horses. We get the job done. We don’t complain. We’re strong, fierce and determined. And yes,
occasionally, we ask for help.

A few days ago, my two year old Canyon came like a race horse out of the bathroom. Buck naked, he ran to the open door where I was talking to my neighbor. Canyon loves watering our flowers in the front yard and as fast as a whip, he ran out ahead of me. I had at least a minute to grab him, didn't I? But no, he decided to start running, those little buns just staring back at me. I was in flip flops people, but I could catch a two year old, I mean really, how fast could he run. HE MADE IT FIVE HOUSE DOWN THE STREET BEFORE I GOT TO HIM. We looked like a scene out of the book NO DAVID, where, you guessed, David is running down the street naked (this is my kids favorite page). Half way down the street, I just started laughing and thanking God I've been running at the track lately because I was in a full on sprint! When I finally tackled him, we just laughed and I tickled his tummy. Oh, it was good times, but in my early years of mothering, I probably would have been a wreck, all bent out of shape and yelling.

I’m starting another blog on intermittent fasting. Not sure if it will be here or on another
site, but please let me know the questions you may have about starting
intermittent fasting, the benefits and more?
Message me on my facebook page (My Dear Trash) or leave a comment below.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

I
started intermittent fasting the day after Thanksgiving because a friend of mine had a heart attack and was in the intensive care unit. It was very likely he would die and his wife, whom I adore was beside herself with grief. You know when someone you love is suffering and you feel helpless. Fasting for him helped me feel like there was something I could do. It was a small act, yet empowering. Then, I found out my friend was going blind, so I fasted for her. All of a sudden my eyes opened up to so many of my friends and loved ones who are in need of God's divine intervention, so I committed to 30 days of daily intermittent fasting. Everyday, I fast for a new person. The beauty is my fasting will take me up to Christmas day. I'm so excited to feel the joy of this experience on Christmas. I'm already teary eyed.

Daily 16-hour
intermittent fast are helping me pray and think of others during the Christmas
season, but I’ve also dropped a dress size. I have an 8-hour eating window,
usually 10:00 am to 6:00pm and then I fast in the evening (on a full stomach
mind you) and while I sleep. I feel so much love and compassion for those in need.
Intermittent fasting helps me improve my health and drop weight while
spiritually, it’s an amazing tool to help others and draw closer to God and
Jesus Christ.

What an amazing benefit to the law of the fast - weight loss and improved health.

I
can’t remember a time where so many I love are in need. Not just family and loved ones, but the world
needs healing. While fasting, prayer can be like an empowering and transforming
meditation. I know God honors the law of
the fast and personally, I feel fasting is an untapped tool I never really understood. Before last year, I hadn’t fasted
for almost 20 years. Sure, I’d tried,
but I didn’t understand the purpose of fasting.
I thought it was only about being hungry and feeling deprived. Now I know fasting is an energy, a momentum
and a channel to help others.

Did you know the 2016 Nobel Peace Prize winner studied the benefits of fasting? Read about his amazing research here and here.

Saturday, November 11, 2017

I’ve been writing books for
two decades and since last October, I’ve published 4 books including Starving Girl – My 30-Day Experience with
the Miracles of Intermittent Fasting and Prayer, What Has Your Sister Done – True
Stories of Unplanned Pregnancy, The Stolen Bible(historical YA) and My 100 Daughters of India Coloring Book.It’s been amazing to be involved in projects
that feel so purposeful and passionate to me. Never have I been so focused on
my work.Funny how having a 6th
baby in your early forties can do that to a gal, but it’s just the miracle that
my sonCanyon has brought me.He is nearly the perfect baby and happily
plays in my lap while I work on my projects. His love motivates me on so many
levels.

I also had the opportunity to
help write and The Memory Catcher
with my mom author Sarah Hinze. In all
this time, I’ve never had a book launch, an open house or even a celebration
(other then the happy dance I do in my office while still in my pajamas).

Last month, I published My 100 Daughters of India Coloring Book and
while I was out on a run in September, I had the idea to do an open house. Considering my kitchen flooded and is
currently just a cement floor waiting to be renovated, I didn’t know what to do
with an impression like that? An open
house certainly couldn’t be at my home.
Suddenly, my amazing friend’s name came to mind – Karen Cox. I had
recently been to her new home and there was such a feeling of peace, creativity
and love, I knew where I wanted it to be. I immediately called her, told her my
idea and she said “Yes, have it at my house.” (Thank you Karen, I love you with
all my heart.)

Since setting the date of the
open house, I’ve been planning events and sharing My 100 Daughters of India Coloring Book at schools and even hosted
a birthday party.

It’s amazing how comfortable it is for me to talk about,
especially in front of kids. Kids are my
people!! I start with sharing my first sketch I drew of a girl from India. The
drawing is awful, but I share it to prove with lots of practice, determination
and patience, hard work pays off, even when you’re drawing 100 beautiful girls
from India.

Way off in the distance was
this date for the open house. I knew it
was the right things to do, but it wouldn’t be in front of kids and this was
what started to frighten me the most.

Yesterday, I was a jumble of
nerves. To think I’d inflicted this
public speaking event onto myself, whoa, I guess I was all in, but once
everyone arrived, all people I knew who loved and supported me, I straightened
up and did what I felt I needed to do – I talked about the girls of India. When I read the poem My 100 Daughters, I cried (like usual).

Afterwards, there were a
few questions, I shared my goal to sponsor 100 girls through Rising Star
Outreach with either the sales of the coloring book or donations and everyone
left. I was so glad I’d done it.

Karen and I were in the
kitchen with my red-headed neighbor’s two daughters

(who had been helping me
all day with babysitting and preparing refreshments) and I went to grab my bag
when I was stopped in my tracks! Inside that bag, were 10 crisp $100 dollar
bills!! Somebody has anonymously donated
$1,000.

Oh My Gosh!!! I was stunned,
shocked and immediately realized I had no idea who had done it. Oh, I wanted to say thank you, thank you so
much. How many girls would that sponsor?
Almost three, and I have nearly $100 ready to donate from coloring book
sales. With the three girls our family already helps and now these three more,
our momentum is really taking off. Six
girls will have their lives forever changed.
Did you know at Rising Star, they teach the kids English? Do you know what it means for a child in India to speak
English? Already, these kids are standing out and Rising Star is the top school
in the area. They will change India. Keep in
mind, Rising Star schools kids from the leprosy colonies. Without Rising Star,
these children don’t have a chance. They
will be left to beg and will live in extreme poverty there entire life, but now,
their destiny is forever changed.

Yes, there is a lot of work
to reach the goal of sponsoring 100 girls, but after last night, I feel so much
support. I know this project is bigger
then me, it is in God’s hands and through out the year there will be mighty
miracles as He, through the help of others, helps these girls. Did you know in India there is
a wedding tradition to bless a bride to have 100 sons? That’s right, because girls are not wanted.
To think God named this project My 100
Daughters is a miracle. These girls desperately need our help. These girls are all of our daughters.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Staring
into the eyes of the girls in the beautiful photographs I’ve seen from Rising
Star Outreach India, researching the cultures, customs and traditions of India,
trying to understand the lives, joys and needs of these girls by drawing 100 of
them – it’s been a life-changing experience. I hope you'll join me tomorrow as
I share more about my experience with Rising Star. The open house is in the
community of Mahogany (Brown Rd./Val Vista) on Friday, November 10th from 7:00
to 9:00pm.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

I was at the grocery store a
few nights ago and after the cashier rang up my total, she called me “Honey.”

“That will be $85 dollar,
Honey.” I don’t remember the total, but it was something like that.

While she’d been ringing up
my groceries, we’d had a pleasant conversation about my kids and she’d been
very kind. When she called me “Honey,” I
definitely felt like her friend.

Honey – a term that when a
strange man says it, I feel creped out, but when a woman says it, I want to
give her a giant hug and kiss.

Throughout the last few
weeks, I’ve been called “Honey” a couple of times by a few different women.

I think I like it.

Hugging my little honey!!

I like it so much that a
couple of times now, I’ve tried it. “Thanks, Honey.” And it can’t just be to
anybody, it has to be with someone who I’ve had some sort of kind interaction
with, but I don’t know her name. Like
the waitress who has helped me clean up my kids spilled water, or even a
stranger who speaks to me while I’m in line.
I just might call either one of them “Honey,” when we part ways.

Yeah, “Honey,” seems like a
good fit. When I call another woman “Honey,” I feel in a way like I’m a big
sister to her and that I’d help her any time, that I appreciate her kindness
and think she’s pretty great. There is an affection attached to it. When shared properly, the word has a twinkle
to it.

I just love this beautiful sister of mine.

Too many creepy men have used
the world “Honey,” with an ulterior motive. The term is most often sexually
motivated, because coy, attention-seeking men exploit it, but when I say it
kindly to another woman or when she says it to me, it’s like we’re talking the
word back.

When a woman calls me honey,
I feel a connection, a sisterhood, a friendship, even a sort of protection from
her. It’s like the cumulative burden we as woman carry is now being shared and
validated. I feel her strength and a nurturing vibe from her that makes me feel
like I have an instant friend.

Ladies, I mean Honey, let’s
take our word back!

I
will be speaking in Mesa
at an open house in the community of Mahogany (Brown Rd./Val Vista) in Karen
Cox's home this Friday, November 10th from 7:00 to 9:00pm. Please join me as I
share my spiritual and creative journey and my heart's passion to help the impoverished
girls of India.
I hope you can attend. Please message or text me for the address to the event.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Staring into the eyes of the girls
in the beautiful photographs I’ve seen from Rising Star Outreach India,
researching the cultures, customs and traditions of India, trying to understand
the lives, joys and needs of these girls – it’s been a life-changing
experience.

I’m so thankful for people
like Becky Douglas and Amy Humphrey, and others from Rising Star Outreach, who
are working effortlessly to make a difference in the leprosy colonies. I know their efforts are making a world of
difference.

So, what is
it I hope to accomplish by publishing a coloring book of girls from India?

1)I know my daughter Eden loves to color. She gets lost in the art of coloring. I remember as a little girl I would color for
hours. I want the girls of India to have images of them so they can dream in
their artwork. I want them to know they
are seen, loved and prayed for. I want them to feel strong and powerful in
their culture.

2) Not only do Eden and I want to raise
enough money to sponsor 100 daughters of India, but we want to raise awareness
of who these girls are, how they live and help others understand what they
need. The coloring book has a three-page introduction of interesting facts
about Rising Star, India and the culture of these girls. I also share how Eden and I got involved in
helping them and the poem we wrote called My 100 Daughters.

I hope you’ll purchase a coloring book for the little girls
in your life. I hope you’ll purchase a coloring book for the adults in your
life. Coloring is such a wonderful form
or therapy, no matter what your age. I was on a hike this weekend in Colorado
and I met a woman on the trail. We
started talking about our lives and I told her I just published a coloring
book. She told me, “Adult coloring books are
the #1 selling books on Amazon.” I
really feel in my heart with Rising Star’s help and through the sales of this
coloring book, we can help sponsor 100 girls and more.

Costs to sponsor: It costs a dollar a day to sponsor a child
through Rising Star. These funds pay for
a child’s schooling, food, dental, medical, clothing and shelter. It’s amazing how far these donations can
stretch.

You can donate in many ways including purchasing the coloring book or sponsoring a child. Either way, please know you are making a difference.

I received a letter a few months ago from one of the little
girls we sponsor. She said her favorite
food is rice, her favorite color is red and her favorite game is skip. Oh, my
heart just burst at her innocence. I’m
so thankful to know she’s being taken care of.

I’ve decided to continue drawing the girls of India in
another My 100 Daughters coloring
book. This next series will be Mermaid,
Princesses and Fairies.

I will also be
drawing My 100 Daughters travel
throughout India. Thank you for
supporting this project. There are over
a billion people in India and Rising Star is willing and capable of helping so
many children. Click here and the link will send you to Amazon to order your coloring book,

What is My Dear Trash?

After I was sexually abused, I felt like trash. Through God's love, I was able to find my worth again. My Dear Trash is about finding value where others may not see it, in ourselves, in our world, in our unborn and in our relationships and with God.

View the book trailer for my memoir Starving Girl by clicking on the image below.