Monday, September 12, 2005

Shock exclusive Brash in deal with the Devil!

Got forwarded this from a friend of mine and it did give me a wee chuckle or three ;)

From SNAP! Radio
Interviewer: SNAP! Radio can reveal with great pleasure that Don Brash's call for help to rid New Zealand of this wretched government has gone far and wide. In fact rather wider than he expected. I would like to welcome to the show the Corruptor of Souls, Bringer of Destruction, the Adversary, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, and Lord of Darkness. The Devil himself. Well, Mr Devil, can you explain why you have recently been sighted around the Wellington electorate helping deliver National leaflets, putting up their billboards, and generally bringing a smile to Mark Blumsky's face.
The Devil: Well, you know, I am a private individual and I don't like to talk about my forays in to politics. As you might be aware, I like to consider myself a very morals based creature. And I think right now that Don Brash is the figure in national politics who currently most fits with my view of the world. You know Christ threw the money-changers out of the temple, Don Brash would have told them to keep up the good work, invited them round for lunch and asked their advice on
policy. I guess you would say I have sympathy for him.
Interviewer: As opposed to Labour?
The Devil: It is often better to go with the devil you know, but I feel it is now a time for change. It's been a good run with Labour - I still wear the red suit sometimes - I just couldn't handle the level of deceit. With Brash you know what you're getting,
Interviewer: You mean usually the opposite of what he said yesterday and whatever Gerry Brownlee is currently denying?
The Devil: Well, I don't think that's the issue right now, what we should be talking about is that I can really identify with Don Brash's 'my way or the highway' management style. Also, I've had enough of this fiddling around with capitalism trying to pretend its nice, no one wants to talk about the 500 pound lair-daemon in the room – capitalism is not nice it's about screwing people for as much as you possible can.
Interviewer: So you support capitalism?
The Devil: Indeed. It's certainly been around a while and can be relied on to deliver the goods in terms of evil. Feudalism had great opportunities. But you know times change. We move on.
Interviewer: As you are aware, National has recently accepted the help of Closed Brethren to put out fliers and billboards. Do you feel comfortable with working with them on their campaign?
The Devil: I'm completely relaxed about it. As I always like to remind people, the road to hell might be paved with good intentions, but the little paths to hell are often made by religious fanatics who hate humanity.
Interviewer: So, any final words for our viewers
The Devil: It doesn't matter who is in the Beehive, under capitalism, I'm always on the throne