Trump Condemns Shadrach, Meshach and John McCain to the Fiery Furnace

At a rally moments ago Donald Trump ordered that Shadrach, Meshach and John McCain be thrown into the fiery furnace.

Many in the GOP assumed Trump would still hope their God would save them, but Trump ordered that if they should survive miraculously they should be thrown into an alligator pit… and if that didn’t work, they should be thrown to the sharks, and if that didn’t work, they should be waterboarded for as long as possible.

Jeff Flake and Lindsey Graham couldn’t be included in this story because the title would sound weird with all their names in it.