Gallery 93

Gallery 93

The LUST issue of Jersey's Style Magazine to kick off 2013. Get stuck in.

Jersey’s Style Magazine | no. 93 | February 2013 | the
[LUST]
issue
£ priceless
# 93
the LUST issue
FEATURING
Bad romance Idiot’s guide to dating Alternative Paris Rosie Barrett
BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS
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GALLERY
CONTENTS
HIGHLIGHTS
ANIMAL
BAD ROMANCE
WORDS | GRACE RYAN ILLUSTRATION | BEN ROBERTSON
t’s the month of February and love is in the air. Cupid’s arrows are ﬂying, sexy underwear is being furtively purchased and secret plans are being hatched for proposals, honeymoons and the occasional swingers’ party. For those of you lucky enough to share your life with that special somebody, the next two weeks will be ﬁlled with anticipation as you prepare to reveal your romantic masterstroke to your saucy soulmate.
Sweet partners, tender lovers, please turn the page, because this article is not for you. If your serotonin buzz doesn’t already steer you in the right direction, you can go to any paper or website and ﬁnd lists of romantic things you can do for your other half, and you’ll probably end up spending most of the next day rutting in the boudoir - assuming you even make it that far. When you’re ﬁnished with that, spare a moment’s thought for all the people out there trapped in relationships of convenience, hookups that happened because they were bored, marriages where the only spark comes from a Rampant Rabbit with some faulty wiring. Those people don’t need a guide to romantic gestures, they need a guide to the romantic get-out clause. Trapped, miserable people - do not despair. Follow the tips in this article and you too will be separated, alone, free to cuddle and spank whoever you choose. Your lawyer might be a few grand richer, but it’s a small price to pay for naughty freedom.
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in Wales, where you’ll wish you packed a gimp mask if only to o er an evening’s respite from the connubial loathing of vindictive draughts games and ﬁghts over the Jumbo Book of Travel Puzzles.
TATS ENTERTAINMENT
ON BENDED KNEE
I’ve personally never seen the appeal of having a person’s name etched into my epidermis forever, but then again I’ve been around the block so many times that my buttocks would probably resemble the toilet wall at an especially grotty youth-club. Nonetheless, some people seem to think an inky doodle commemorating SHARON LUVS DARREN is the ultimate statement of lifelong adoration. For a real passion killer, take a lesson from washed-up caucasian rap sensation Eminem, who expressed his feelings to the estranged mother of his child by decorating one arm with a gory mural entitled ‘Kim… rot in pieces’. What’s worse is that Slim Shady subsequently married the lovely Kim not once but twice, which must have made for a hell of a wedding day speech from his father-in-law.
Somehow, despite all the many subtle messages you try and send them, some people just don’t get that your relationship is going nowhere. If you’re too polite to tell them or simply move away to Finland, this only leaves the nuclear option: play relationship Russian roulette and propose even more commitment. If you’re lucky they’ll realise they hate you and run o with hairy Maria who works in the supermarket. The obvious disaster deal breaker is to propose marriage, preferably in a place so awful that the absurdity of ﬁve more minutes in your company would be obvious to any human with more emotional awareness than a pile of broken toasters. A betting shop might work, or maybe the lobby of the G.U.M clinic, or amidst the polystyrene rubbish and dead pigeons clogging the musty stairwell of a forgotten car park. If you’re already married, but hate each other, start discussing baby names, and within a matter of months one of you will be living it up with smooth boys in Bangkok, whilst the other is shopping for prams with a controlling geography teacher named Clive. If you’ve already got kids, try and have another, but absolutely insist that you raise it in darkness and name it after the stage name of your favourite heavy metal musician, Iranian ayatollah and/or preferred model of typewriter. If all that still doesn’t work, and you have a partner who’s honestly happy to spend the next eighteen years holidaying in dutch brothels and mutually nurturing young Abbath Khomeini Olivetti Lettera 32, then perhaps you’re luckier than you think. If they’ll put up with all that; alongside your snores and farts; your terrible jokes; your crusty eyelids; your bad dancing and lazy cooking; then grab that person and hold them tight, because I do declare that you have found true love at last.
ROMANTIC GETAWAYS FOR ONE
BLOOMS OF DOOM
Flowers are a sweet, charming gesture for most lovers. They’re symbolic of life, with a delicate scent that evokes freshness and growth, combined with the unmistakable erotic message of their transient beauty. Basically, ﬂowers are nature’s way of saying you should boink like billy-o when you’re young, fresh, and smell lovely, before your juices dry up and you wither on the vine like yesterday’s da odils. So what to do if your relationship has already withered away, like the folds of skin beneath a bitter spinster’s neck? Well, I ﬁnd that nothing says “It’s over, Dave” like a tattered plastic bouquet, stolen from a graveyard or roadside tribute to a deceased celebrity. A bunch of ﬂowers from the garage is also good, but should really be reserved to give the speciﬁc message that you worked late because you’re sleeping with your accountant.
The O ce of Quotable Statistics reports than 36% of relationships ﬂounder whilst on holiday, probably because there’s nothing like a bit of distance from your shared, mundane routine to lay bare the hideous lie that is your life together. The undeniable truth that you’re just as ready to poison each other in paradise (or more commonly the Costa Del Sol) makes it very di cult not to consider hopping over the villa wall in the dead of night and starting a new life as Juan Mysterioso, secretive man of great regrets and professional weaver of straw donkeys. To up the odds of a Euro-funded bustup, may I recommend a weekend at a depraved bordello in Amsterdam’s red light district, where you’re likely to discover things about your partner that will make Sunday lunch and a repeat of the Vicar of Dibley impossible to endure with a straight face. A suitably awful alternative for the small minority adverse to drug-fuelled heavy bondage would be some winter caravanning
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POST APOCALYSE RESOLUTIONS
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SPORT
BAD ROMANCE
SPORT
72 LET’S GET MASHED
LEONIS GET READY TO ROAR.
BOYD MUNROE WELTERWEIGHT Age: 26 Number of bouts: 32 contests Started boxing: South Hill in 2000
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allery recently became fundraising and marketing partners with Jersey Leonis Amateur Boxing Club, who take on Bristol Select on the 9th February at the Radisson Hotel, with Shane Goggin, James Walton, Ryan Hodgson and Ben Cairney amongst a strong bill of ﬁghters that will be looking to help Leonis to a strong start to 2013. We caught up with welterweight Boyd Munroe, one of the club’s longest-serving ﬁghters, to ﬁnd out more about the sweet science.
Who are the best boxers you’ve seen come through the club, and who’s looking good there at the moment? It would be hard to mention just one boxer over the years as there has been so many skilful boxers! But everyone training for this up and coming show February 9th is looking great and there is a few youngsters having there ﬁrst contest so I wish them luck. Which boxers have provided your greatest inspiration? My 3 favourite boxers of all time have to be Muhammad Ali, sugar ray Leonard, ﬂoyd mayweather. But I could list a lot more. What advice would you give to someone who wants to take up boxing? I would say come to up to south hill gym, it's a great sport and jersey Leonis is such a friendly place to learn. With a great team of boxers and trainers! Cheers Chris feel free to alter any of my poor English!
LEONIS ABC TAKE ON BRISTOL SELECT AT THE RADISSON ON SATURDAY 9TH FEBRUARY. TICKETS ARE £25 BUT NOW SOLD OUT, ALTHOUGH THERE IS A WAITING LIST FOR RETURNS, AND A SHOW IS PLANNED FOR APRIL 13TH. Leonis train at South Hill Gym every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday and are open to beginners and seasoned boxers alike. Prices are £5 per session or £35 per month for adults, and £3 per sessions or £25 per month for students. For more information contact info@jerseyleonis.com.
How did you ﬁrst get into boxing? I ﬁrst got into boxing when some friends started at South Hill Gym and told me about how good the training was, and I was a skinny kid so I wanted to learn how to look after myself, and boxing gave me conﬁdence. What does a typical training session consist of? First we start with a steady warm up running around the gym with some exercises, then some shadow boxing, which involves working on your technique, then moving onto bag work. And usually we will do six rounds [three minutes each with one minute rest inbetween] of sparring, and then a ﬁtness circuit to ﬁnish o . What’s been your most memorable bout so far? My most memorable contest would be boxing in front of an all time great in Sugar Ray Leonard at the Hotel de France, and to top it o he presented me with the boxer of the evening trophy! You’ve been at Leonis for some time now – what have you seen change over the years? And has the club changed with the likes of coaches Miguel, Tony and Gerry in charge now that Dave Thompson’s sadly no longer with us? Firstly, Dave was a truly inspirational man, a great coach and he would really know how to bring the best out of me! Miguel, Gerry and head coach Tony are doing a great job now. They always worked well with Dave and they also learned a lot from him. You left boxing to concentrate on football for a while – how do the two sports compare in terms of the regime and in terms of the actual competition, and what was it that drew you back to boxing? Boxing for me is the best complete body training and you have to be so dedicated; we train for weeks on a strict diet. I never had the same passion for football as I do for boxing! Boxing certainly polarizes opinion and most people involved are used to hearing people that say it’s a barbaric sport which has no place in modern society – I’m sure you get the same thing from time to time. What’s your response to people that are set against boxing? Yes, I suppose I usually get this from older women that possibly have never tried the sport. Boxing is a very skillful sport and takes many years to get to a high standard, and for me, as a teenager it gave me both self-conﬁdence and something to focus on! It's a very safe sport these days and I don't see it as barbaric. If more youngsters took part I'm sure there would less on trouble on the streets!
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VILLA RAYSON: BOSH.
100 LEONIS ROAR
40 ALTERNATIVE PARIS
CONTENTS
Edito .................................................................. 6 Contributors ................................................ 8 New Year’s Resolution .......................... 10 Listings ........................................................... 14 Mr & Mrs At The Club Spa .................. 16 Animal Corner ........................................... 18 Bad Romance .............................................. 20 Misc .................................................................. 22 Idiots Guide To Dating ......................... 24 News In Numbers .................................... 26 EVENTS .......................................... Stanley Gibbons ....................................... 28 Andrew Baird Cookbook Launch ... 28 Wine Club Dinner ................................... 30 Barclays Community Awards ........... 30 JIBS Symposium ...................................... 32 Mike Gatting Event ................................ 32 GIVE ............................................... Kick Start The Local Economy ......... 34 Our Community ......................................... 36 TRAVEL .......................................... Alternative Parisian Trip ..................... 40 Ski Paradiski ................................................ 44 CULTURE ........................................ My Name Is Michele Horwood......... 46 Culture Listings ........................................ 48 The Monthly Upload ............................... 50 Culture News ............................................... 52 FASHION ........................................ Trend News ................................................... 54 Brand News ................................................... 56 Style Stalker .................................................. 57 Gallery Fashion Shoot ............................ 58 BEAUTY .......................................... Health And Beauty News ..................... 68 2013 Product Lust List ............................ 70 APPETITE ....................................... Let’s Get Mashed ....................................... 72 Appetite News............................................. 75 BUSINESS....................................... On The Sofa.................................................. 90 Bourne House .............................................. 94 Movers & Shakers ...................................... 96 Job Stickies ................................................... 98 SPORT............................................. Boyd Munroe: Boxer ................................ 100 Local Sporting News ............................... 102 Ladies’ Rugby Match Report .............. 104 HARDWARE ................................... Firing On All Cylinders......................... 106 Three’s A Crowd: Dream Drives ...... 108 Gallery Gadgets ......................................... 110 Phone Home ................................................. 112 NIGHTLIFE .................................... Introducing: Rosie Barrett ................... 114 Hotlist ............................................................... 115 The Badlabecques..................................... 116 Roger Sanchez ............................................. 118 Sark Folk Festival....................................... 119 Paparazzi ....................................................... 120 DIRECTORY ................................... Boardom.......................................................... 128
Jersey’s only specialist property magazine & portal | no. 74 | February 1st 2012
The best place to find a new place in Jersey
view all properties from all quality agents at www.places.je
The island’s No1 property magazine Now available in Gallery from page 93
THIS EDITION:
ON THE COVER: Villa Rayson on the market with Choice Properties GET THE LOOK: We show you how to achieve a Feminine Vintage interior
Jersey’s most comprehensive property platform for home buyers and sellers. Use one of these brands and get your property advertised in the right Places, in print and online.
EDGE COX PEEL WILSON
ESTATE AGENTS
PLACES........................................... Property Proﬁle........................................... 78 Finishing Touches ................................... 82 Le Gallais ........................................................ 84 Red Properties ............................................. 85 Interiors News ............................................. 86 Featured Selection .................................... 88
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JERSEY’S STYLE MAGAZINE
EDITO
Jersey’s Style Magazine | no. 93 | February 2013 | the [LUST] issue
£ priceless
# 93
the LUST issue
FEATURING
Gallery’s Gorgeous Gift Guide Secret Santa Survival Tips 25 Worst White Things Ever White Cocktails
edito
he seven deadly sins; a system of learning that was designed to stop Christians straying wayward and ending up in a place that warm, rather than one that’s ﬂu y. I’m sure you know them* but, now that we have the internet instead of religion and a society of excess it’s proving di cult to maintain their status as a deterrent rather than a lifestyle choice.
This month’s theme is ‘lust’; the darker side of Valentine chocolate, underwear and overnight stay and hotel a little out of the way buying. It’s deﬁned as an ‘intense desire’ and doesn’t need to be exclusively sexual. You could lust after a person, fame, power, an iPhone 5 or louboutins. In any case, you’re sinning. Shame on you. The church divides sin into two categories: venial sins, where guilt is minor, and mortal sins; those really go against everything God’s after from you, the facets of which destroy your ‘grace and charity’. We’re deﬁnitely deﬁning lust as the former. I mean, c’mon, what’s a lustful thought now and again. It gets you through the day sometimes, right? Whilst looking up comments on Wikipedia over the deadly sins I found this, which someone had originally entered as part of the ‘sins’ entry; “The devil is in German also called “Die Apfelteufel des alten Sauerkraut*”, and it is judged by the international committee of Wienermärchen** that it derives from the southern part of Germany around Munich. In the fairytales the devil usually scares away small children and afterwards sprays white powder in their eyes, making them instantly fall asleep. When the child is asleep, the devil picks up the kid and wanders around with it in the local town, meanwhile singing the local south-german song “Ich lieben die Wienerbrachwursten**”. This fairytale has been commonly accepted in southern Germany and Austria as true and disturbing.” For those of you that can make out the hilarity from your GCSE German, you get the joke. We’ve annotated below for the rest. Proof that a: people have too much time on their hands, b: you can add anything to Wikipedia pre edit and c: that guys is deﬁnitely going warm rather than ﬂu y. Whatever you lust after, be it carnal desires or Vienna sausages, try to keep those sins venial and I hope you ﬁnd something you like in our ﬁrst edition of 2013. BD
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Publisher Ben Davies DD : 870185 ben@gallery.je Sales Director Ceri Milner DD : 870082 M : 07700 811102 ceri@gallery.je Design Director Russ Atkinson DD : 870268 russ@gallery.je Accounts Melody Lakeman DD : 870237 melody@gallery.je Distribution Adam Lescop 07700 811104 adam@gallery.je Other contacts are on the contributors page
Gallery is published eleven times a year as a fresh yet discerning guide to all that happens on the Island and beyond. With quality and style in mind, our tone is not too superior or too serious, written by the people of Jersey for people everywhere.
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CONTRIBUTORS
#92
EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTORS Chris Bell Rick Jones Grant Runyon Lucy Sanderson Dierdre Shirre s Grace Ryan Russ Atkinson Tom Innes Taylor Jones Laura Costard
[LUST]
ILLUSTRATION / DESIGN Russ Atkinson Ben Robertson Oli Nightingale
FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS
PHOTOGRAPHERS Danny Evans Alicja Ludwikowska Russ Atkinson and all the Uploaders
CONTRIBUTE
contribute@gallery.je Rip it, scrap it, comment, critique, research, report. Opinions wanted on politics, business, news, home, property, music, gadgets, sports and culture. Something annoyed you and you want to tell the island? We’re here for you baby. If you’d like to see your name in... er... print, get in touch.
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ad@gallery.je We understand that the medium is the message. The quality of a magazine reﬂects on the businesses that advertise within it. Gallery is Jersey’s highest quality magazine and premium print media option for stylish and progressive brands. If you have a business or strategy to promote to Jersey’s forward thinking consumer, get in touch. Call us on 811100 or drop us an email...
JOIN OUR EXTENDED FAMILY IN 2013
Write for us in 2013 using these two new conduits. If we publish your story on our website you’ll receive £15. If it gets into the print edition you’ll get £15 more.
YOUNEWS
We’re a small island where everyone has an opinion on society, business, customer service, politics and, well, just about everything. If you’ve ever trawled the murky depths of thisisjersey you’ll have seen the range of submitted social commentary in the form of comments on news stories. The vary from the sublime to the ridiculous. We enjoy both ends of the spectrum but would like to attract the former to our hallowed pages and new website.As such, we’re establishing younews. Think of youtube but with gallery news created by you, our readers, rather than youtube’s...er...tubes?
WE’VE ALWAYS ENCOURAGED NEW WRITERS BUT WE’RE GOING TO BE EMBRACING OUR MILDLY NEGLECTED WEBSITE AS THE CONDUIT WITH WHICH TO ACHIEVE OUR GOALS. BE PART OF IT AT YOUNEWS@GALLERY.JE
EMAILS TO MONKEY
Sometimes we get answer phone messages from our readers telling us how much they’ve enjoyed something in the magazine. Sometimes we get messages from little old ladies using language little old ladies shouldn’t use. We even had a heavy breather once who either has a magazine fetish or dialed the wrong number. That’s another story. We love feedback. It’s the way we improve and maintain our goal of connecting with our audience. We thought that this year we’d document this feedback in a ‘letters to the editor’ style page. Whether tweets, emails, website comments or answer phone messages, we’ll be picking the best one each month and buying that reader lunch.
HAVE YOU GOT FEEDBACK FOR US? DID WE DO SOMETHING RIGHT? SOMETHING WRONG? LET US KNOW GET US ON @ GALLERYMAG OR EMAIL MONKEY@GALLERY.JE
features@gallery.je If you are an artist with work to exhibit, an event or entertainment organiser with an event coming up or a business with some exciting news or a new product to feature, get in touch. We’re keen to feature anything of interest that will entertain our readers.
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Gallery recycles all its storage and packing materials, boxes and any old magazines that are returned. We don’t get that many fortunately. We love to know our readers hang on to previous copies but when you move or ﬁnd that they’re taking up too much space, drop them down to the recycling bins in the car park o the Esplanade. If you want to ﬁnd out more about recycling, call 01534 448586. We put this on the green strip to look eco innit... That’s smart!
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Disclaimer. All rights reserved. Any form of reproduction of Gallery Magazine, in part or whole is strictly prohibited without the written consent of the publisher. Any views expressed by advertisers or contributors may not be those of the publisher. Unsolicited artwork, manuscripts and copy are accepted by Gallery Magazine, but the publisher cannot be held responsible for any loss or damage. All material, copy and artwork supplied is assumed to be copyright free unless otherwise advised. Contributions for Gallery should be emailed to editorial@ gallery.je. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and no penguins were harmed in the manufacture of this magazine, you can’t prove nu ng. Why are you still reading the small print? How about researching what really makes the best paper aeroplane? Test them with your friends or colleagues, add a picture to our Facebook and we’ll send you some doughnuts...
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ANIMAL
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
S ’ R A A R E O Y F W S N NE O I T E U S L P Y O L S A E C R O P A T S PO R E V O G N HA
nyon nt Ru a r G rtson DS | Robe WOR n e B ION | TRAT ILLUS
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OURNALISTS ARE LAZY, AWFUL PEOPLE, AND MOST OF US COMPOSE OUR ARTICLES FOR THE NEW YEAR VIA THE AUTHORIAL EQUIVALENT OF RECYCLING THE CHRISTMAS LEFTOVERS.
Depending on the publisher this sandwich of verbal gristle and congealed opinions might be about table tennis or quantum theory, but whatever the subject you can bet it will be last year’s meat, whacked in the microwave and warmed up. An old fallback is to rabbit on about your hastilyadopted new year’s resolutions, broken up with trite reﬂections about the event highlights of the previous annus bloggabillis. This ritual was designed to cope with a godawful NYE hangover that renders the ﬁrst week of January a creative write-o for most scribblers, and the high possibility that we’ve used up all of our best material trying to blag promotional freebies in December.
This year I’m going to have to break with that tradition. Not because I’ve belatedly developed any creative integrity, but because I thoroughly convinced myself that 2013 would usher in a hideous end-cycle of war, plagues and planet-shaking natural disasters, and so spent the latter end of 2012 reinforcing a survival bunker and stocking up on tinned foods. I’m therefore running a little short of opinion pieces about the Olympics, Gangnam Style and the Diamond Jubilee, but am positively overﬂowing with advice about storing shotgun ammo and constructing home-made booby traps. Channel 4 haven’t got back to me about my spin-o idea for Grand Designs (“Insane Survivalist Schemes”) but I have managed to convince the editor of Gallery that Jersey’s premier lifestyle magazine is crying out for a quirky, upbeat article on what to do when the central feature of your home is now a decontamination chamber and a rota of which family members are going to get eaten ﬁrst. I suppose it’s not often that an editorial submission is delivered by a man with a matted beard who crawled up from the sewer with a hunting knife held between his teeth. Maybe two or three times a month at most.
DETOX YOUR LIFE: HEALTHY EATING & DRINKING
If there’s one thing most of us have in common, it’s that we probably overindulged over the festive period. For many people this
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A freezer with a time-lock means that I ﬁnally don’t need to lose any weight, but if you do I can start by recommending a gym membership, a gentle detox with a wheat and dairy-fee diet or perhaps 14 hours on a treadmill hooked up to the emergency generator in my basement
means a lot of rich food and a few glasses of port heading straight to the tummy - in my case my spare tyre is an actual spare tyre that I cut up to use as fuel, and I toasted the new year with a beaker of my own urine and a few cans of Pedigree Chum. A freezer with a time-lock means that I ﬁnally don’t need to lose any weight, but if you do I can start by recommending a gym membership, a gentle detox with a wheat and dairy-fee diet or perhaps 14 hours on a treadmill hooked up to the emergency generator in my basement. It certainly worked for my kids, who are looking better than ever, if a bit pale and twitchy. Now’s also the time to catch up with those annoying tasks you’ve been putting o for most of last year. Why not hit the ground
running by washing your windows or organising your DVD collection? Having a car boot sale with all those unused items in your attic could be a great way to start 2013, unless you’re like me and have already burned them to make space for a hydroponic greenhouse and a series of portholes for your sniper riﬂe.
hearty Christmas it doesn’t mean you can’t use a bit of imagination and some elbow grease to give your home a little sparkle. We’ve all got a bit of space about the place we’re not using very well, whether it be a few shelves in the lounge, a garage full of boxes or a corner of the garden that’s turned into the amazon jungle. It’s a fab new year’s project to spritz up that space, so here’s a few suggestions to get you started: * Box up everything in your shed and garage, and spend a day working out when it last got used. If it’s longer than a year, get rid of it. You’ll wonder where all that space came from!
HOME & GARDEN: LIVEN UP YOUR LIVING SPACE
Some readers will be lucky enough to enter the new year with the time and resources to do something really spectacular with their homes. Extensions, stables, swimming pools; there’s a lot you can do if you’ve got funds and planning permission, but just because you’re pinching pennies after a
* If your garden has fallen to the weeds, admit defeat, raze everything to the ground and start again from scratch. You can even pave it over for a low-maintenance garden space that’s just perfect for summer BBQs * A pressurised nuclear bunker can make charming guest accommodation, providing your friends and family don’t mind being woken by an air raid siren and don’t mistake the emergency cyanide capsules for pillow mints. Remember not to seal the automatic fallout door, or it will pop open in 2018 and you’ll do your back a mischief hauling three skeletons to the tip at Belozanne.
BEAT THOSE JANUARY BACK TO WORK BLUES
It can be tough heading back to the o ce after a few weeks o and the freedom to stay in bed as long as you want. It’s hard to face those early morning meetings, especially if everybody there saw the demented Youtube manifesto you made with your new friends from the hippy doomsday cult. It’s tough to explain what you meant by shrieking quotes from the Book of Revelations whilst stood in front of a burning ﬂag, naked as the day you were born, holding a machine gun. Best bet is to
hold your head up high, and pretend that nothing happened, because sooner or later everybody gets a bit tipsy at a Christmas party and says something they regret. It’s true that not everybody says things that put them on the CIA most-wanted list, but if you’ve made it as far as February without a SEAL team dropping into your compound in a daring night raid, you’re probably okay. Stay positive! There’s always next year.
If your garden has fallen to the weeds, admit defeat, raze everything to the ground and start again from scratch. You can even pave it over for a low-maintenance garden space that’s just perfect for summer BBQ
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UPFRONT
LISTINGS: WHAT TO DO IN DECEMBER
EVENTS
FEBRUARY 2013
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08-10.02.13
DURRELL
JILL AND THE BEANSTALK
£4.50-£9.50/ / 860036 / / 7PM (FRI & SAT) 3PM(SUN) / / PADDY.HAMMERSLEY@DURRELL.ORG
Don’t you fancy a laugh to liven up your February? Durrell’s pantomime guaranteed to entertain an audience of all ages, Jill and the Beanstalk will feature appearances from familiar and some of your favourite panto characters. Will Jack be able to sell Daisy the cow?
Come to the show to ﬁnd out! With all proceeds going towards saving species from extinction, why not do your part and head to Durrell Wildlife Park to buy your tickets - and whilst you’re there why don’t you pop around the zoo as well?
27.02.13
BOLLYWOOD BALL
£45 / / 19.30 / / 702414
02.02.13
DODOLINGS
12-14.02.13
DURRELL
THE ROYAL HOTEL
Have fun at this Bollywood Ball, all in aid of Jersey Cheshire Holmes. You’ll be treated to authentic Bollywood dancing and who knows, you may even pick up some moves? Not to mention the tasty Indian food and entertainment provided brace yourselves for a little slice of India in Jersey, for one night only!
DURRELL
£7 / / 10.30AM-12.30PM / / 860000
CONSERVATION SCIENCE SCHOOL
860000 NAOMI.WEBSTER@DURRELL.ORG
Every Saturday until Easter, these animalthemed workshops are a great way for parents to spend time with their 3-6 year olds. Not only are these workshops fun and creative, but you will also learn about a di erent animal each week! Grab this opportunity to touch bugs, make food parcels, ask questions and do some arts and crafts to take home and keep. (Tickets are £7 per child. Non-members will have to pay the entrance fee or take out their own membership and come in for free.)
With lectures from the conservation experts at Durrell, the chance to look ‘behind the scenes’ and the opportunity to try your hand at some of the challenges the Durrell sta have to face on a daily basis. This 3 day course is ideal for GCSE and A-levels students interested in wildlife and conservation.
03.02.13
FREE TENNIS TASTER SESSIONS
02.02.13
LES MIELLES TENNIS CLUB
£FREE / / 10.00-12.00 / / 747271 / / MEMBERSHIP@LMTC.JE
THEOLOGY PRESENTS ROGER SANCHEZ: QUINTESSENTIAL
GRAND JERSEY
Corporate Sundays at Les Mielles Tennis Club, in partnership with ABN AMRO Private Banking. If you are interested in playing tennis but have never had the opportunity, come along to Les Mielles Tennis Club for free taster sessions starting February 3rd, weekly! You’ll have the chance of joining in with a club session, viewing the facilities and can even take the advantage of joining the club, paying only half-price for the joining fee!
£27.50 / / 19.00-02.00 / / 887786 / / WARRENLS@JERSEYLIVE.ORG.UK
Based at Grand Jersey, ‘Quintessential’ is a unique five star event that delivers some of the world’s finest DJs to Jersey. Theology are proud to be hosting the event that includes one of the most prolific, highly regarded global superstar DJ and Producer
Roger Sanchez! This over 18s event will be a spectacular night out, not to be missed! ID is essential, with tickets on sale from White Label, Colomberie and also online. Why don’t you also grab an accommodation package from the Grand Jersey on 722301.
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UPFRONT
BUSINESS&RECRUITMENT
14-16.02.13
CAMRA JERSEY WINTER ALES FESTIVAL
ST JAMES’ CENTRE
£4-6 / / 727285 / / BRANCH@CAMRAJERSEY.ORG.JE
Try over 40 di erent Real Ales served direct from the cask, including the famous delicious Liberation Brewery Beers and even a little something cheeky brewed especially for the event! If you fancy some food it will be available on site. For those rugby fans out there there will be a big screen showing the 6-Nations on the Saturday and there will also be live music!
15.02.13
NIGHT RIDER
01.02.13
MERTON HOTEL
£4-6 / / 18.00-19.30 / / 767774 / / ENQUIRIES@ MERTONHOTEL.COM
POMME D’OR
POMME D’OR OPEN DAY
£FREE / / 12.00-19.00 / / 751372 / / VSPECKLETON@POMMEDORHOTEL.COM
15-16.02.13
EMBROIDERY WORKSHOPS THE HARBOUR GALLERY
£16-£25 / / 10.00-17.00 / / 853395 / / PARTINTHEFRAME@YAHOO.CO.UK
With pumping music, intense lighting e ects and award winner Flowrider experts on hand the thrill of the Flowrider, for the ﬁrst time at night, is not to be missed! If you get a little peckish or slightly thirsty, the poolside café will be open throughout and the use of the pool and other facilities is included!
Visit the Pomme D’Or Hotel and have a chance of winning a car from Jackson’s CI! The Hotel will be showing all of their facilities and will be joined by their sister hotel representatives to ensure you have a great time at their open day.
Bella Lane, a graduate of the Royal School of Needlework, is making a visit to Jersey to teach two days of Valentine Embroidery Workshops this February. Beginners to dedicated stitchers are invited to enjoy many techniques ranging from Peruvian applique to Jacobean crewelwork in these 1 to 2.5 hour long sessions, with all materials provided.
23.02.13
07.02.13
YEEHA! CHARITY LINE DANCING
THE CADILLACS
THE TOWN HOUSE
£12 / / 19.00-01.00 / / 07829709853
AIRPORT SOCIAL CLUB (OPPOSITE RUBIS GARAGE)
£5.00/ /18.15-20.00/ / 07797 862874
Head on down to the Town House to join in with a country line dancing night in aid of Autism Jersey. Fancy dress is optional, but the best dressed will be in with a chance of winning a prize! Guaranteed to be a fantastic night out, you can even learn how to dance like a Texan! A DJ, bu et and ra e will also be at the funﬁlled night.
Entertaining people every Thursday, the Cadillacs are an amazing live Rock ‘n’ Roll band worth a listen to. The 3 piece band provides high energy live music for dance enthusiasts to jive, lindy hop and rock ‘n’ roll to. Whether you are a beginner who wants to practice your new moves or a seasoned dancer who wants somewhere to let your hair down, you will receive a warm welcome at this new weekly social event. For more info visit their Facebook page – The Cadillacs Jersey.
MUSIC&NIGHTLIFE
SPORT&FITNESS
HARDWARE
FEATURES
UPFRONT
APPETITE
CULTURE
FASHION
BEAUTY
EVENTS
TRAVEL
PLACES
BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS
15
UPFRONT
MR & MRS SMITH
MR & MRS SMITH VISIT THE CLUB
here’s something deliciously decadent about a ‘weekend away’ that’s just a few minutes down the road. Mr & Mrs Smith join The Club ...and discover they don’t want to go home.
‘Glass of champagne Madam?’ If only all check-ins were this civilized. Half an hour ago, we’d still been at home, my husband oblivious to his surprise treat, and now here we were, sipping champagne and soaking up the atmosphere of calm sophistication that The Club seems to be cocooned in. It’s only ﬁve minutes away from town, but it feels like a di erent world. Our luggage whisked away, we were free to stroll around the hotel as the receptionist gave us a leisurely tour. The library-style honesty bar where you can mix your own nightcaps, the sleek spa downstairs, the restaurant where we’d booked a table for dinner and Bohemia’s cool bar, and then up to our room. A masterclass of immaculate contemporary design, all rich tones of charcoal and crème brulée, our deluxe suite had a corner sofa and striking artwork in the living room, and in the bedroom, a huge feather bed with plump pillows and crisp Frette sheets. Our receptionist explained the room’s features; one-touch heating, Bang & Olufsen designer phones, plasma TVs, tea and co ee, and the not-so-minibar with everything from single malt miniatures to a cheeky mile-high kit… I on the other hand
T
had been distracted by the bathroom – a luxury vision in marble and mirrors – and couldn’t help letting out a squeal of delight. A walk-in shower with two showers so noone gets left out in the cold, heaps of Elemis toiletries and a gorgeous bath big enough for two. In no time at all I was lounging in a deep bubble bath, with a perfect view of the bedroom TV. Hotel room heaven. Meanwhile Mr S (any excuse to use those Bang & Olufsen phones) had called down for a DVD from the hotel’s impressive library and was stretched out in the living room with a beer and snacks from the minibar and the Bourne Ultimatum to watch while I got ready. It felt like home that is, if we had an exquisitely furnished, ultra luxurious home at our disposal. We could quite happily have stayed in our room, mixing drinks and ordering room service (Massaman curry and crème brulee on 24-hour speed dial are enticing options) but we had a Michelin-starred supper waiting for us downstairs. Staying at the hotel – or ‘living upstairs’ as we’d already come to think of it – lends a certain swagger to your step as you enter the lounge bar through the special hotel entrance, and stroll straight to your reserved seats, set out with menus to browse over cocktails and amuse-bouches. Bohemia’s menu is mouthwatering, and Mr S insisted on reading all the options out loud, and making appreciative noises afterwards. It’s certainly Michelin-starred dining with extra ‘Mmm’, but I was still glad the bar’s cool Hôtel Costes-style soundtrack was buzzy enough to cover it all. It is a rare thing to come across a restaurant that so whole-heartedly works
JERSEY’S STYLE MAGAZINE
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to impress. We were informed of the recent change in Head Chef, to new arrival Steve Smith who is clearly setting out to make his mark; using the best of Jersey seafood and European classics, creating meals with fresh thinking and impeccable taste. You can imagine my pride as I inferred he must be a relative. The menu has moved away from reams of à la carte dishes and inevitable indecision, and instead places you in the safe hands of the chef and ever attentive waiting sta as they guide you through one of ﬁve fantastic tasting menus, they even o er a vegetarian tasting menu! The amuse-bouche of barbequed pork shoulder, then fresh crab meat served on apple and cucumber jelly with a touch of fresh wasabi and horseradish, set the tone for what was to be a truly world-class meal. Favourites from the Pescatorian tasting menu (that’s a ﬁsh tasting menu to you and me…) were the haddock, with a rich hens yolk, and mustard ice cream drizzled with a creamy potato sauce (so good I could have drank it alone). Also the scallop with celeriac, apple, smoked eel and tru e grated generously at the table was spectacular. My Mr Smith paired his meal with the suggested drinks tasting menu which was an inspired touch, as well as combining crisp whites with the lobster and turbot, there was ice cold Grey Goose Vodka with the buttermilk oyster and chilled Hawkes Bay Gamay Noir with the scallops. We tucked gleefully into the cheese trolley and saw o their devilishly gooey Chocolate Mayhem dessert. The night ﬂew by in a culinary spectacular. Then it was just a stroll upstairs, via the honesty bar for a mix-it-ourselves nightcap, to our perfectly turned-down room, with a
glass jar of homemade shortbread biscuits placed beside the bed. I’d like to say we partied into the small hours, draining the minibar dry over a few games of drunken Scrabble but it was hard to resist sinking into the wide feather bed for the most comfortable night’s sleep ever. We surfaced to a tough morning decision. Which should we do ﬁrst – swim and a sauna or Bohemia’s legendary breakfast? Too lazy for early morning lengths, we spent a delicious few hours over breakfast, reading the papers and grazing on a superb bu et of croissants, brioche, ham, cheese, fruit,
towels to allow the treatment to penetrate, your therapist begins a blissful facial and head massage. Next, after showering o the body mask, you’re treated to an expert full body oil massage with all your knots kneaded out, a balancing Ayurvedic foot massage and then just as you’re drifting o , the ﬁnishing touch, a spine-tingling shirodhara – warm oil drizzled onto the forehead and massaged through the hair. You’re left feeling light as a feather, refreshed and totally Shankara Blissed out… I was relieved we’d opted for a late checkout, so I could just head back to our room in
It is a rare thing to come across a restaurant that so wholeheartedly works to impress. We were informed of the recent change in Head Chef, to new arrival Steve Smith who is clearly setting out to make his mark; using the best of Jersey seafood and European classics, creating meals with fresh thinking and impeccable taste.
cereals and yoghurt. If you’ve got space, don’t miss the American breakfast with sausages, eggs, bacon and mini pancakes, it’s the perfect Sunday morning treat. The Club Spa is a must-visit with its up-tothe-minute facilities including a spacious salt water pool, sauna, salt cabin, steam room and luxury relaxation room. But if you really want to be spoilt when it comes to spa treatments, book yourself in for the ultimate indulgent treatment: Shankara Bliss. A calm, softly lit treatment room is yours for nearly two hours for this amazing top-to-toe Ayurvedic treat which begins with dry body brushing, followed by a warm herbal mask smoothed onto your body. After swiftly cocooning you from top to toe in warm my bathrobe, stretch out and relax. Glowing smooth skin, gorgeously revitalised – this is a treatment I’d have again and again. It was hard to say goodbye to The Club. It’s so delightfully boutique and bijou that it’s easy to feel at home - and who wouldn’t want a home with a cool bar, amazing spa and incredible restaurant downstairs? Now, what excuse can I ﬁnd for another night’s stay…
MR AND MRS SMITH STAYED IN A DELUXE SUITE AT THE CLUB HOTEL BOHEMIA’S CLASSIC MENU IS £59 FOR THREE COURSES USE OF THE SPA FACILITIES IS FREE SHANKARA BLISS, £140 (ALLOW 1 HOUR 50 MINUTES)
ANIMAL
ANIMAL WORLD
CATHERINE
POTM
PET OF THE MONTH
Breed: Human Age: 36 Likes: Hollyoaks (I know!), salt and vinegar crisps, holidays Hates: Poor organisation, bad manners If animal would be: A duck Wants: A good old fashioned bit of peace and quiet Interesting facts: I speak really good Spanish Most impressive thing I’ve done: Lived and worked in South America
MISTY THE WONDERHOUND
Breed: Dog – Belgian collie ridgebacked grey sheep hound (total mixture) Age: 1 (my birthday is New Year’s Day!) Likes: Balls, frisbees, shoes, valuables, sneaking onto the bed at night, your dinner Hates: The doorbell If human would be: A nosey neighbour Wants: Your food (anything will do) Interesting facts: I’m named after a French ﬁshing boat! Most impressive thing I’ve done: Destroying the phonebook – Geo Capes would have been proud
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ANIMAL
FAST LOVE?
A hot summer night, two slippery bodies entwined together, their passion enflamed by love darts - no it's not the latest steamy novel but two garden snails mating! Snails are hermaphrodite, each snail being both male and female. The love dart is made of a chalky substance and each snail shoots one into the body of the other. Sperm is then exchanged and, unfortunately for gardeners, both snails will then lay up to forty eggs.
HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL
Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right foreﬁnger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Retrieve pill from ﬂoor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take a new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right foreﬁnger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Retrieve pill from goldﬁsh bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. Kneel on ﬂoor with cat wedged ﬁrmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head ﬁrmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered ﬁgurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. Check label to make sure pill not harmful
to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. Call ﬁre department to retrieve the cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. Tie the cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, ﬁnd heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of ﬁlet steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches ﬁngers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. Arrange for vet to make a house call.
After about a month these hatch into tiny miniature snails. As they grow their shells enlarge by material being added at the lip. Calcium is needed to make the shells so snails can only live in areas where the soil is alkaline. Snails are nocturnal as their soft bodies would dry out in the heat of the sun. During the day they hide in shady places, curled into their shells. Like most snails the garden snail is vegetarian, making short work of the gardener's prize plants with its rasplike tongue. As it moves along on its muscular foot slimy mucus helps to protect the foot from sharp stones and so the snail leaves a shiny trail of slime as it crawls along. The snail has two pairs of tentacles on its head which can be drawn inside the head. The back pair can detect light and act as the snail's eyes. Snails hibernate in winter, often in groups. They close the mouth of their shells with a plug of mucus so that they don't dry out. Their shells protect them from many predators but thrushes are able to eat them by smashing their shells on a rock. Each thrush has a preferred stone, known as its anvil, and will eat many snails. They are also edible to humans and apparently taste like the edible snail but are not often used in cooking. It is thought that the idea of Cupid and his love darts may have arisen from observing the mating habits of snails.
HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL
Wrap it in bacon. Toss it in the air.
DATES FOR THE DIARY;
21 FEBRUARY – LOVE YOUR PET DAY GIVE YOUR PETS EXTRA LOVING AND EXTRA PAMPERING TODAY. 23 FEBRUARY – INTERNATIONAL DOG BISCUIT APPRECIATION DAY (HONESTLY!) CONSIDER MAKING YOUR DOG SOME HOME-MADE DOG BISCUITS OR TREATS FROM ONLINE RECIPES.
BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS
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ANIMAL
BAD ROMANCE
WORDS | GRACE RYAN ILLUSTRATION | BEN ROBERTSON
t’s the month of February and love is in the air. Cupid’s arrows are ﬂying, sexy underwear is being furtively purchased and secret plans are being hatched for proposals, honeymoons and the occasional swingers’ party. For those of you lucky enough to share your life with that special somebody, the next two weeks will be ﬁlled with anticipation as you prepare to reveal your romantic masterstroke to your saucy soulmate.
Sweet partners, tender lovers, please turn the page, because this article is not for you. If your serotonin buzz doesn’t already steer you in the right direction, you can go to any paper or website and ﬁnd lists of romantic things you can do for your other half, and you’ll probably end up spending most of the next day rutting in the boudoir - assuming you even make it that far. When you’re ﬁnished with that, spare a moment’s thought for all the people out there trapped in relationships of convenience, hookups that happened because they were bored, marriages where the only spark comes from a Rampant Rabbit with some faulty wiring. Those people don’t need a guide to romantic gestures, they need a guide to the romantic get-out clause. Trapped, miserable people - do not despair. Follow the tips in this article and you too will be separated, alone, free to cuddle and spank whoever you choose. Your lawyer might be a few grand richer, but it’s a small price to pay for naughty freedom.
I
in Wales, where you’ll wish you packed a gimp mask if only to o er an evening’s respite from the connubial loathing of vindictive draughts games and ﬁghts over the Jumbo Book of Travel Puzzles.
TATS ENTERTAINMENT
ON BENDED KNEE
I’ve personally never seen the appeal of having a person’s name etched into my epidermis forever, but then again I’ve been around the block so many times that my buttocks would probably resemble the toilet wall at an especially grotty youth-club. Nonetheless, some people seem to think an inky doodle commemorating SHARON LUVS DARREN is the ultimate statement of lifelong adoration. For a real passion killer, take a lesson from washed-up caucasian rap sensation Eminem, who expressed his feelings to the estranged mother of his child by decorating one arm with a gory mural entitled ‘Kim… rot in pieces’. What’s worse is that Slim Shady subsequently married the lovely Kim not once but twice, which must have made for a hell of a wedding day speech from his father-in-law.
Somehow, despite all the many subtle messages you try and send them, some people just don’t get that your relationship is going nowhere. If you’re too polite to tell them or simply move away to Finland, this only leaves the nuclear option: play relationship Russian roulette and propose even more commitment. If you’re lucky they’ll realise they hate you and run o with hairy Maria who works in the supermarket. The obvious disaster deal breaker is to propose marriage, preferably in a place so awful that the absurdity of ﬁve more minutes in your company would be obvious to any human with more emotional awareness than a pile of broken toasters. A betting shop might work, or maybe the lobby of the G.U.M clinic, or amidst the polystyrene rubbish and dead pigeons clogging the musty stairwell of a forgotten car park. If you’re already married, but hate each other, start discussing baby names, and within a matter of months one of you will be living it up with smooth boys in Bangkok, whilst the other is shopping for prams with a controlling geography teacher named Clive. If you’ve already got kids, try and have another, but absolutely insist that you raise it in darkness and name it after the stage name of your favourite heavy metal musician, Iranian ayatollah and/or preferred model of typewriter. If all that still doesn’t work, and you have a partner who’s honestly happy to spend the next eighteen years holidaying in dutch brothels and mutually nurturing young Abbath Khomeini Olivetti Lettera 32, then perhaps you’re luckier than you think. If they’ll put up with all that; alongside your snores and farts; your terrible jokes; your crusty eyelids; your bad dancing and lazy cooking; then grab that person and hold them tight, because I do declare that you have found true love at last.
ROMANTIC GETAWAYS FOR ONE
BLOOMS OF DOOM
Flowers are a sweet, charming gesture for most lovers. They’re symbolic of life, with a delicate scent that evokes freshness and growth, combined with the unmistakable erotic message of their transient beauty. Basically, ﬂowers are nature’s way of saying you should boink like billy-o when you’re young, fresh, and smell lovely, before your juices dry up and you wither on the vine like yesterday’s da odils. So what to do if your relationship has already withered away, like the folds of skin beneath a bitter spinster’s neck? Well, I ﬁnd that nothing says “It’s over, Dave” like a tattered plastic bouquet, stolen from a graveyard or roadside tribute to a deceased celebrity. A bunch of ﬂowers from the garage is also good, but should really be reserved to give the speciﬁc message that you worked late because you’re sleeping with your accountant.
The O ce of Quotable Statistics reports than 36% of relationships ﬂounder whilst on holiday, probably because there’s nothing like a bit of distance from your shared, mundane routine to lay bare the hideous lie that is your life together. The undeniable truth that you’re just as ready to poison each other in paradise (or more commonly the Costa Del Sol) makes it very di cult not to consider hopping over the villa wall in the dead of night and starting a new life as Juan Mysterioso, secretive man of great regrets and professional weaver of straw donkeys. To up the odds of a Euro-funded bustup, may I recommend a weekend at a depraved bordello in Amsterdam’s red light district, where you’re likely to discover things about your partner that will make Sunday lunch and a repeat of the Vicar of Dibley impossible to endure with a straight face. A suitably awful alternative for the small minority adverse to drug-fuelled heavy bondage would be some winter caravanning
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GALLERY
MISC
MISCELLANEOUS
THE PAGE WHERE WE SHARE ALL OF THE THINGS THAT WE’VE FOUND THIS MONTH THAT JUST DON’T HAVE A HOME ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE MAGAZINE
TOUJOURS TINGO
Ba ona (Italian)
An attractive moustachioed woman
WHALE OF A TIME
Hauntingly beautiful photos of models posing with whale sharks have been taken in the Philippines in the hope to raise awareness about the poaching of the world’s biggest ﬁsh. The whale sharks are often fed by local ﬁshermen with handfuls of shrimp which enabled them to attract the ﬁsh to the location of the photo-shoot. The extraordinary images, starring 30ft whale sharks and models Hannah Fraser and Roberta Manico took four months in the planning, with photographer Kristian Schmidt having to take the photos underwater to achieve the breath-taking photos.
FLYING FISH!
At a shopping mall in Shanghai, a local landmark – the 34 ton aquarium – suddenly shattered, injuring 15 passers-by as they ﬂed in panic. The 10 inch thick glass of the aquarium unexpectedly gave way, sending sharks skywards, ﬁsh ﬂying and glass hurling into passers-by. The freak accident unfortunately resulted in the deaths of 3 lemon sharks and dozens of smaller ﬁsh and turtles. "There was no warning. Just a loud crack and it went. I've never been so scared," said one worker.
Kati-kehar
(Hindi)
Having the waist of an elegant lion
Conk (Hindi)
The imprint of a kiss
DOPED DRINK
Many of us have curfews and can get a little annoyed at them. However, with the help of her friend, a Californian teenager took things to the extreme, drugging her parents’ milkshakes after they banned her from surﬁng the net after 10pm. Though the parents only consumed a quarter of the milkshakes after ﬁnding that they had a ‘crunchy texture’ and left a ‘bad taste’ in their mouths, they promptly fell asleep after the sleeping drug, supplied by a friend, kicked in. They didn't wake up until the next morning and couldn’t remember exactly what happened but suspected something was up and so took a drug test, the police said. "Drugging your parents so you can use the internet, never heard of that," neighbour Earl Carson said, "That's crazy." The girl and her friend were both arrested and charged with conspiracy and wilfully drugging her parents.
JUST A TAD POTTY?
More than a quarter of a million people have watched a video of an Irish man, Liam Keane taking a dip in the middle of the road in County Cork. After being alerted to the country’s ‘deepest pothole’, or his personal swimming pool, by a friend, Keane donned the appropriate swimwear and after testing the depth, took the plunge. “When I saw it I said I wouldn't get a chance like it again. It was fresh water from a water main, so it wasn't dirty, I didn't mind doing it," he told RTE News.
A CHOCOHOLIC’S NIGHTMARE?
If you’re looking to buy chocolates for your valentine this February, then look no further, these baby head shaped chocolates are the perfect gift! Sure. Why not? I have to question what artist Annabel de Vetten was thinking when she created these 5000 calorie white chocolate treats(?). Originally commissioned for a pilot episode of a UK TV show, de Vetten has been ‘swamped with orders’ for the creepy chocolate. Costing £35 and weighing one kilogram, de Vetten says that “The look is quite controversial but if everybody liked them they wouldn't be as fun to make”, however I’m not too sure if I’ll be placing my order any time soon!
If you are in need of a job, have no fear, our dear Queen is in need of a ‘general catering assistant’ (washer-upper to you and me). An advertisement on the royal website o ers an annual pay check of £14,200 and states that the successful candidate needs to be 'punctual, reliable, able to work well in a team and have a ﬂexible and willing attitude'. Though they will be based at Buckingham Palace, the ‘general catering assistant’ must also "be happy to travel and work at other royal residences in the UK and at weekends", which means frequent trips to Windsor, Sandringham, Balmoral and the Palace of Holyroodhouse. So, what are you waiting for – buy those Marigolds now and you might just qualify to become part of the Royal dishwashing team!
WANTED: ROYAL WASHER-UPPER
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COLUMN
AN IDIOT’S GUIDE TO DATING
AN IDIOT’S GUIDE TO DATING
WORDS | RO$$ KEMP ILLUSTRATION | OLI NIGHTINGALE to be a secret agent, and it’s only Arnold Schwarznegger’s intervention that stops him. You can rest assured that you won’t get caught out because in real life, there is no Arnold Schwarznegger. He’s made up. Get ﬁbbing gents.”
O
ur resident misogynist Ro$$ Kemp has no time for niceties when it comes to engaging with the opposite sex. With Valentines Day coming up, he’ll be employing every trick in the book in order to impress the ladies, and here, he shares with you the secrets of how he plans to do it.
dead cheap on Ebay) and if you have the letter ‘S’ in your name anywhere, swap it for a dollar sign (e.g. ‘Ro$$ Kemp’, ‘Paul Bi$$on’ etc). In keeping with your gangster approach, don’t take her on a traditional date. Take her street drinking and introduce her to the scalliest mates you know. If you don’t have any scally mates, ask your own pals to come along dressed in tracksuits combined with Rockport shoes.”
USE CHAT UP LINES
BE A BIT GANGSTER
“Chicks dig tough guys; it’s a proven fact, and seen all throughout nature. The lady baboon doesn’t shack up with the meek little baboon chap hiding in the corner; she goes for the 200lb maniac who’s just torn the limbs o his own mother and smashed a coconut over his own head. In fact, the only animals on earth that woo the female by being nice guys are peacocks, and we all know that they’re total pussies. This general rule of nature applies to humans too. Wear plenty of clunking jewellery, if possible turn up in a Ford Escort RS Cosworth (these are
LIE, LIE, AND LIE SOME MORE
“Your date doesn’t want to hear about your job at the call centre or bank, and doesn’t want to know that you still live at home with your mum and that you dropped out of uni after your ﬁrst year because you spent your entire student overdraft on gin. Create a web of deceit, a story so exciting and so alluring that even you’ll learn to love yourself (or the self that you’ve just invented). For inspiration, look no further than True Lies; used car salesman Bill Paxton more or less seduces Jamie Lee Curtis by pretending
“You’re a witty guy, and the chat up line gives you the perfect format with which to demonstrate it. In a scientiﬁc study involving laboratory mice, chat up lines were shown to work 87% of the time (Source – The Internet). You’ve just spied a girl on the danceﬂoor. Check your breath for traces of your last meal (important), slick back your hair and turn up your collar (optional), and make a beeline for her. When you have her attention, open with something like: “Do you want to come back to mine and play Call of Duty?” “You don’t know me, but can I borrow a tenner?”
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“What are you staring at?” “There’s a party in my pants, there will be cake and a clown.”
PLANT A STOOGE
“You’ve done the hard part and convinced a woman to go out for a romantic meal with you. It’s time to get creative. Ask a couple of good friends to pose as would-be muggers and instruct them to pinch her bag before letting you catch them and retrieve it. Or get someone to approach you in the street and ask for your autograph – tell them you used to play for a mid-table football team, someone she likely wouldn’t have heard of anyway. Admittedly, you’re unlikely to get a second date once she Googles your name, but it’s up to you.”
ing. If you are, hi John, Graeme, skip this bit), but the association with celebrity is usually enough. It works for the Kardashians and that sort anyway. A good bet is to pretend you know dead celebrities who will never be able to contradict your story. Tell your date that Roy Castle taught you to play trumpet, or that you once went hang-gliding with Brian Clough. They’ll be suitably impressed and it’s unlikely you’ll ever get caught out. Admittedly, using the sadly deceased to improve your romantic chances reeks of exploitation, so use this method at your own risk.”
ply dig a hole. Or go metal detecting – you might ﬁnd her a ring on the beach!!! If you do have a couple of quid, buy her a Fanta or some crisps.”
JUST BE YOURSELF
“But only if you’re an ABSOLUTE legend. If you’re not sure whether this applies to you, ask yourself the following questions: “Am I wearing sunglasses indoors?” “Have I downed a beer in one, in the past 24 hours?” “Can I do more than 100 keep-ups with a football?” If the answer is ‘Yes’ to the above, then you are indeed an absolute legend. Dude, just be yourself.
KEEP IT CHEAP
BIG UP YOUR CELEBRITY CONTACTS
“Nothing says ‘glamour’ like celebrity. Unfortunately, you’re not a celebrity (unless John Nettles or Graeme Le Saux are read-
“Dating can be an expensive pursuit, and if you’re the type that likes to cast their net wide, you could do yourself out of house and home going on multiple romantic liaisons. In these times of austerity, try and keep your sexy expenses to a minimum. Fly a kite, test drive a car that you have no intention of buying, laugh at a duck or sim-
DISCLAIMER:
Gallery does not endorse the practicing of any of the above dating methods. Please don’t try these at home.
UPFRONT
NEWS IN NUMBERS
500,000
earnt by Magistrate-designate Ian Christmas during the four year wait for trial in which he was found guilty of fraud. He recently resigned.
60 125,000
bill for ‘Rocketman’ forces him to sell his home as his appeals are rejected
Years of age or older? A new scheme for free bowel screenings has been launched
2
million pound cost of Curtis Warren trial has been announced by the Attorney General
3,000,000
pounds plus is to be spent on resurfacing major roads around the island in 2013
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EVENTS
EVENTS
STANLEY GIBBONS -
The Grand Hotel Park Suite : Monday 3rd December
The Directors of Stanley Gibbons hosted an evening of champagne and canapés at The Grand, providing an opportunity to learn more about investing in rare stamps and coins. Guests enjoyed a champagne reception in the
Park Suite, whilst viewing a range of valuable, rare collectibles prior to a brief presentation by Keith Heddle, Stanley Gibbons Global Investment Director, in the Leopold Suite. The evening closed with a ra e o ering a
framed Penny Black, a Charles I shilling, a signed picture of the actress Berenice Gejo and dinner for two in Victoria’s kindly donated by The Grand.
ANDREW BAIRD’S COOKBOOK LAUNCH - Longueville: Wednesday 28th November
A hugely popular event, attended by over 150 guests, was held at Longueville Manor to celebrate the launch of Executive Head Chef, Andrew Baird’s ﬁrst book, “Recipes from the Sea”. Kindly supported by Coutts, guests enjoyed
Champagne from Duval-Leroy and beautiful canapés inspired by recipes from the book. Durrell, Blue Islands and James Doran-Webb also played a part in this very successful evening. Malcolm Lewis, owner of Longueville Manor,
said: “The writing of this book was a wonderful new experience for Andrew and the perfect medium to showcase the best of Jersey seafood. People can now experience his passion for it in the comfort of their own home!”
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EVENTS
THE BOAT HOUSE GROUP’S WINE CLUB DINNER - The Beach House: Thursday 19th December
Wine expert, Martin Flaguel hosted the ﬁrst Wine Club dinner. Guests were treated to an array of white wines from in house Wine Merchant, The Grape House. Served alongside a carefully chosen menu designed by The
Boat House Group’s Head of Catering, David Cameron. The evening began with a beautiful sparkling wine and went into a tasty full bodied selection to match the delicious food. Dishes such as local turbot with artichoke puree and
mussels, Organically sourced ﬁllet of veal and morel sauce... A mouth-watering menu indeed. The Boat House Group are looking forward to hosting another Wine Club Dinner on 6th March at The Beach House.
BARCLAYS COMMUNITY AWARDS
-Pomme d’Or
Eight local charities were awarded a share of £30,000 at the 2012 Barclays Community Awards event. However, as a surprise on the night, Barclays presented two additional awards. These were given to the Community Sports Programme and
to Spencer Davies from Channel 103 for the radio station’s partner charity, Help a Jersey Child. Paul Brannan, Community Sports Development O cer for the Community Sports Programme, was presented with a cheque for £9,000 to help
with the continued support of the 2012/2013 Barclays late night leagues and Spencer Davies was presented with a cheque for £500 to help local families supported by Help a Jersey Child.
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EVENTS
JERSEY INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS SCHOOL SYMPOSIUM - Hotel de France 29th November
The 8th Annual Compliance and Economic Crime Symposium, held late last year, was very well attended with a full room eager to hear the prestigious speakers.
Chairman Stephen Platt from Stephen Platt & Associates LLP started o the event and was followed by John Harris, Director General of JFSC who discussed whether the island has found the right balance when meeting
international standards on ﬁnancial crime. The keynote Speaker Robert Mazur, Federal Agent on Operation C-Chase told his fascinating story about inﬁltrating the Medellin Drug Cartel and busting BCCI.
AN EVENING WITH MIKE GATTING OBE - Rathbones’ O
ce 7th December
On Friday 7th December more than 50 people enjoyed the opportunity to meet Mike Gatting OBE at the launch of The Jersey Cricket Annual 2012 and The Jersey Young Cricketers Foundation. Mike was arguably one of the most proliﬁc batsmen that England has produced and so it was a real delight for all guests on the night to spend time in his company and have the
chance to ask him questions about his career. Chairman of the Jersey Cricket Board, Ward Jenner, welcomed the guests and an impressive £2,484 was raised on the night for The Young Cricketers’ Foundation from the sale of signed copies of The Jersey Cricket Annual. Only 500 Annuals were produced and the ﬁrst 100 copies were gifted to local schools. The event
was held in the o ces of Rathbones Investment Management International, who kindly sponsored the launch. Recently celebrating 10 years in Jersey, and its 270th birthday, Rathbones is proud to have assisted in the development of sport at primary and secondary schools through a range of coaching events and sponsorships covering cricket, rugby, hockey, sailing and orienteering.
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UPFRONT
COMMENT
We sent the email below to our Island Senators to guage their opinion on the subject matter of our new monthly comment cartoon. Now we realise that some may have writers, PRs, consultants, assistants and suchlike but we were disappointed that we didn’t get a ﬂood of response.
We did only give them 48 hours though. However, one came through for us and it’s interesting to see what she has to say. Hopefully we’ll have more responses to next month. In the mean time we’ll be adding it on social media and gallery.je so get on and add your own comments. This month’s question is;
How can we kick start the local economy?
“We have a government and o cers which appear to be unable to restrain spending. We have grandiose schemes - such as a proposed hospital which will apparently cater for a population of 300,000 people - we have plans for even more chiefs in the executive at a time when we are unlikely to have su cient bodies to cover scrutiny adequately, we have a growing social security burden and an executive who are frightened to speak without spin”.
Sarah Ferguson Senator
Dear Senators,
ive cartoon producer. They by Kartoon Factory, a local creat work We have recently been approached a number of topics. Some of the on ons carto ing amus and produce a variety of witty and looking to marry the of their cartoons each month content. We will be running one the wider serious issue. with on carto the of e natur humorous be more insightful. Rather ent from you and your peers would consideration, thought comm t be easier to communicate via migh it ht thoug I ing build s than collar you outside the State email. I realise the subject matter may included in our digital media. print with all received responses few on the question posed. Just a t 300 words if possible based it to a snappy response of abou
economy? How can we kick start the local
let us know your thoughs @gallerymag
The excellent cartoon is the work of Kartoon Faktory, a Jersey cartoon studio. See their work in an exhibition at the Arts Centre this month.
it fully you see this as a worth condu ht back with a response. Hope Please feel free to reply straig g your response. seein to rd forwa look I rate. electo with which to connect with your Many thanks,
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UPFRONT
OUR COMMUNITY
Sunday clearing scrub, erecting posts and nailing in rails at Warren Farm, as part of RBC’s Community Challenge to mark the company’s 50th year in Jersey. Even younger members of the group were able to do their bit with children involved with sign painting and helping to muck out some of the farm animals. Stuart Rutledge, Head of Global Trust at RBC Wealth Management, who participated with his young family commented: ‘The simple aim of the Community Challenge was to recognize, in a meaningful way, how important the local community has been to the development and growth of our business over the past 50 years. Given farming is an important part of this Island’s heritage, an initiative like Warren Farm that is aiming to educate and involve the community is an invaluable asset for us all to enjoy.
MANY HANDS MAKE LIGHT WORK AT WARREN FARM
11 December 2012 - Warren Farm in St Brelade is one step closer to becoming a working farm o ering educational visits and produce for sale thanks to an enthusiastic group of volunteers. Over 60 RBC Wealth Management employees, family and friends spent their
‘SEEN SOMETHING . . . HEARD SOMETHING . . . SAID NOTHING?’
A NEW CAMPAIGN HAS BEEN LAUNCHED TO ENCOURAGE MORE ISLANDERS TO JOIN THE FIGHT AGAINST CRIME IN JERSEY.
Crime-ﬁghting charity Crimestoppers is calling the initiative ‘Seen something . . . Heard something . . . Said nothing?’ and hopes that it will remind people that they can help bring lawbreakers to justice while being guaranteed complete anonymity. ‘The charity fundamentally believes that people and communities should live free from crime and the fear of crime, and if you witness a crime or know one has been committed, the charity’s preference is that you go to the police,’ said Mr McClure. ‘However, lots of people don’t want to, or cannot, go to the police, and that is where we come in. They want to remain anonymous. They might be connected to the person who has committed the crime or it might be domestic abuse. ‘The key to Crimestoppers is anonymity. We want to know what you know, not who you are. That is the big sell. We guarantee anonymity. You can do the right thing for yourself, your family and your community.’ Calls made to Crimestoppers are answered by sta at a call centre in the UK and so there is no chance that callers’ voices will be recognised locally. Information can also be submitted anonymously online using Crimestoppers’ secure Online Giving Information Form at www.crimestoppers-uk.org
CONSTRUCTION OF NEW SOUTHAMPTON TEENAGE CANCER UNIT WHICH WILL BENEFIT JERSEY YOUNG PEOPLE BEGINS
Local chairman of the Teenage Cancer Trust Jersey committee, Liz Barlow and vice chair Irene Haycock ﬂew in to Southampton to witness the turf cutting ceremony alongside other donors and former young cancer patients, who are helping with the design of the unit. Updated architect plans and artist impressions of the state-of-the-art unit were revealed alongside the announcement that Teenage Cancer Trust’s Southampton fundraising appeal has now raised a staggering £2million with £630,000 of this donated by Jersey residents. To lend your fundraising support and help Teenage Cancer Trust raise a further £400,000 email beth.bartlam@ teenagecancertrust.org or call 07943 923549. For more information visit www.teenagecancertrust.org or call 020 7612 0370.
EIGHT CHARITIES SHARE £30,000 AT BARCLAYS COMMUNITY AWARDS
Eight local charities have been awarded a share of £30,000 at this year’s Barclays Community Awards event, held at the Pomme d’Or Hotel. £1,000 was awarded to the Young Enterprise Company Programme which sets year 12 students to work in groups to run their own companies for nine months. Centre Point Trust was awarded £2,075 to support their ‘Funky Monkey’s Grow Their Own’ project. £6,900 was presented to Brighter Futures to fund its ‘making changes’ programme. Duke of Edinburgh’s Award Jersey received £4,000 for the charity’s ‘special fund’ programme which supports young people who may otherwise be unable to complete the award. £2,205 was awarded to Headway Jersey for their weekly brain injury survivor swimming therapy sessions.
ST MICHAEL'S SCHOOL PUPILS STRIKE GOLD
St Michael's school has achieved outstanding success with a total of ten pupils winning awards in the 2012 Commonwealth Essay Competition.
As well as achieving ten awards in total in the international competition, organised by the Royal Commonwealth Society, four pupils at the school received Gold Awards – only six Gold Awards in total were presented to pupils in the whole of the UK and Channel Islands, representing a truly remarkable achievement. The Awards presented to the St Michael’s School pupils included four Gold Awards, three Silver Awards and three Bronze Awards. Head of English Chris Hicks commented that she was delighted with the success of the children.
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UPFRONT
LADIES ONLY CHARITY LUNCHEON RAISING MONEY FOR ‘JERSEY TEENAGE CANCER TRUST’ AND ‘JERSEY HOSPICE CARE’
SATURDAY 9TH MARCH 2013 AT 'THE ROYAL YACHT', ST. HELIER. FROM 12.30 Jersey 'By Invitation Only' (BIO) is a registered non-proﬁt organisation which holds a ladies only charity luncheon on the second Saturday of March each year to help raise greatly needed funds for two fantastic charities: ‘Jersey Teenage Cancer Trust’ and ‘Jersey Hospice Care’.
The luncheon is about to embark on its ﬁfth year and has already been incredibly successful raising over £26,000! The ticket costs just £50.00 which includes a delicious 3 course lunch and a drink on entry. 50% of every ticket sold will automatically go towards the total raised on the day. There will also be a ra e and merchandise to purchase, so with this and the 50% of ticket sales, we always make a healthy donation. The money will then be split equally between ‘Jersey Hospice Care’ and ‘Jersey Teenage Cancer Trust’. The success of Jersey BIO has been overwhelming and we hope to continue this for many years to come so if you would like more information about BIO or to purchase your ticket please contact Emma-Louise Nash - 07829 801144, emma@biojersey.co.uk or visit our website: www.jerseybio.co.uk
FEBRUARY IS THE NEW JANUARY FOR FINANCIAL RESOLUTIONS WITH CLOSE FINANCE
When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, high on the list of priorities for many of us is getting our house in order from a ﬁnancial perspective.
Close Finance has coined the phrase, ‘February is the new January.’ As we reach the second month of the new year, we’ve all had time to take stock after the festive break and it’s now time to think seriously about ﬁnance related resolutions. The dreaded December credit card statements have already arrived and it’s important they are settled quickly. By February many of us are well and truly back into the swing of our daily routines. One thing we don’t want to become routine however, is juggling ﬁnances in order to stay on top of things. If this sounds familiar then now could be a good time to consider a consolidation loan. With the Close Finance ‘Big Loan Sale’ returning this month, you can get the perfect kick start to make sure your ﬁnances are back on track once again. Close Finance has more than £5 million to lend at unbelievable rates. This limited o er, which closes on 28 February and is open to anyone eligible for a personal loan, so that includes new as well as existing customers. For an instant no obligation quote with an amazingly low-rate, call Close Finance on 758888 or apply online at www.closeﬁnanceci.com
Did you know that it could take you more than 20 years to clear debts if you are making just the minimum repayments! If you ﬁnd that you only ever pay the minimum payment on credit cards and store cards, perhaps you have a bank loan and an overdraft that you can’t seem to clear; then you may well be paying more in interest that you need to. Paying a variety of di erent lenders means that you are likely to be paying di erent rates of interest. If you transfer all your debts into one consolidation loan, you’ll stop paying interest to several lenders and instead, pay just one, lower rate of interest, which could save you thousands! What’s more, Close Finance will work with you, looking carefully at your budget and your current commitments, to ﬁnd an a ordable solution that allows you to manage your money more e ectively and stay on top of things. Along with peace of mind, a Close Finance consolidation loan o ers many beneﬁts: ƌɄ' -Ʉ4*0-Ʉ /.Ʉ$)Ʉ)Ʉ$)./)/ ƌɄ 0 Ʉ4*0-Ʉ(*)/#'4Ʉ- +4( )/. ƌɄ4Ʉ%0./Ʉ*) Ʉ$)./'( )/Ʉ #Ʉ(*)/# ƌɄ'.#Ʉ4*0-Ʉ$)/ - ./Ʉ#-" . ƌɄ /Ʉ /Ʉ!- Ʉ.**) To ﬁnd out more about the Close Finance Big Loan Sale and to talk to a member of the team about the best ways to get on top of your ﬁnances this year, call Close Finance on 758888 or apply online at: www.closeﬁnanceci.com To keep up to date with our special o ers and promotions follow Close Finance on Facebook www.facebook.com/closeﬁnance and Twitter @closeﬁnanceci
MADE OVER AND MADE UP
The Close Finance Home Makeover competition proved to be a heart warming celebration of Islanders’ respect and friendship towards each other. In the end three winners had a lifechanging building meakeover sponsored by Romerils, Pentagon and The Fencing Centre. No 36 – Le Squez Youth Club – assistant youth club worker Jackie de Almeida. They will receive a new co ee zone from Pentagon Jersey, pictured Paul Elson, with Adam Dawson of Close Finance.. No 40 – Linda Lock receives a lounge/sitting room makeover courtesy of Romerils. No 46 – The Scothern’s receive new garden fencing panels courtesy of The Fencing Centre. Pictured: Kevin and Shirley Scothern, Adam Dawson of Close Finance and Annette Cabot.
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TRAVEL
TRAVEL
WORDS | CHRIS BELL
It’s February, which means it’s the time to start thinking about how you’re going to treat your better half. Flowers and chocolates are always a safe bet, but you might want to go that little bit further and treat your gal or guy to something a bit more special. It’s timely then, that Blue Islands have recently opened up a route between Jersey and Charles De Gaulle airports. With fares starting at just £89, you can bypass Gatwick and whisk your loved one straight to the City of Love. You could spend a romantic weekend checking out the Louvre, Champs Elysee, the Ei el Tower or Disneyland, or you could get a bit creative and make it a right ruddy Valentines getaway to remember.
HERE’S OUR GUIDE TO STUFF GOING ON IN PARIS THIS MONTH. GO FORTH AND WOO. PARIS CARNIVAL
involves an actual REAL LIVE COW being paraded through the streets and followed by a procession of ﬂoats, performers and puppets. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like pointing at a cow. WWW.CARNAVAL-PARIS.ORG
Taking place annually since the 16th Century, the Paris Carnival is one of the oldest celebrations of its kind in the world and allegedly inspired the famous Rio Carnival. After taking a 50-year break, it returned to the city in 1997 and has been going strong in its modern incarnation ever since, attracting up to 40,000 spectators and employing 15,000 participants. With street performers, musicians, dancers, circus acts and actors taking to the streets of Paris on February 10th, this year’s theme is ‘the world of toys’ and men and women are encouraged ‘to dress as queens.’ The highlight of the carnival is the Promenade de Bouef Gras (Fat Cow Parade), which
PARIS SEX MUSEUM
MONTMARTRE WALL OF LOVE
Located in the artists’ mecca that is Montmartre is the Wall of Love. Created by artists Frederic Baron and Claire Kito, the wall measures 40 square metres and is made up of blocks of enamelled lava with 311 enscriptions of the words “I love you” in 250 di erent languages. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like ‘jag alskar dig.’ WWW.LESJETAIME.COM
Located in the Pigalle district, home to the Moulin Rouge and many a sex shop, is the Musee de l’Erotisme, a veritable Aladdin’s cave of ancient phallic statues, paintings depicting absolute rudeness throughout the ages, religious artefacts from various cultures, and ﬁlms and photography exhibitions dedicated to pornography – all for cultural and educational purposes of course. There’s even a ﬂoor devoted to the legal brothels of the 19th and 20th Century. So why not connect with your sensual inner self and learn a thing or two about the birds and the bees that you might not have already known? WWW.MUSEE-EROTISME.COM
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LA PAGODE CINEMA
Built in 1896 as a gift from Monsieur Morin, the owner of La Bon Marche, to his wife, La Pagode is a Japanese pagoda which was in the year 2000 converted to a tiny art house cinema. Retaining its beautiful antique exterior and interior, including stained glass windows, chandeliers and paintings, La Pagode also boasts a tea house and serene oriental garden and is nestled in the quiet Rue de Babylone. Frequently showing independent English and European cinemas, it’s the ideal place to take a date to cosy up with on the back row. WWW.ETOILE-CINEMAS.COM
whole week. With special ﬁlm and music events planned for the celebrations as well, there’s an awful lot to sink your teeth into.
PARIS SG VS BASTIA 40€
CHINESE NEW YEAR
Not many places outside of China celebrate New Year quite like the Parisians. With a large Chinese community, the city will be pulling out all the stops to ring in the Year of the Water Serpent, with a huge opening procession on February 10th (coinciding with the Paris Carnival, so take your pick: cow or snake), and an even bigger parade on the 17th, with dragons, drummers, dancers, actors and musicians decorating the streets. There’ll also be countless street vendors with Chinese food aplenty to choose from, lanterns lighting up the skies, ﬁrecrackers going o left, right and centre, and general commotion, in the best way possible, for the
Valentine’s Day isn’t all about treating the ladies y’know, and indeed, many women like a bit of footy, so please don’t think us unromantic for including a Paris Saint Germain match. The Parisian club are sitting pretty at the top of Ligue One and have a whole host of A-list football superstars in their team after being bought by absolute billionaires from Qatar; their opponents Bastia sitting closer to the bottom of the table. Thus, this could be an opportunity to see the likes of Ibrahimovic and Javier Pastore bang in goals aplenty. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like watching a 40-yard screamer ﬂy into the top corner. WWW.PSG.FR
the streets of Paris and along the Seine, and skaters are accompanied by a team of police escorts both on scooters and on skates (not at the same time), a medical team and a number of stewards. The Pari Roller is intended for people that have had some experience on skates before – you don’t have to know how to Misty Flip through a ﬂaming hoop, but they do ask that you at least know how to brake, and don’t mind going down the odd hill or two. Falling ﬂat on your face and chipping a tooth, or skinning your knees, isn’t so romantic – you’ve been warned. WWW.PARI-ROLLER.COM
PARI ROLLER
Every Friday, up to 35,000 roller skaters and bladers unite for the world’s largest regular gathering of skaters. What better way to check out the city than to join 35,000 people who know the streets like the backs of their hands? Skaters travel a 30km route (although you’re not expected to complete the entire circuit, rather you can pick wherever you get on or o ) through
BLUE ISLANDS OPERATE FLIGHTS BETWEEN JERSEY AND CHARLES DE GAULLE AIRPORTS, WITH FLIGHTS STARTING AT £89. FOR MORE INFORMATION, VISIT WWW.BLUEISLANDS.COM
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TRAVEL
REAL, ACTUAL TRAVEL REPORTS FROM VISITORS TO PARIS
EURO DISNEY
“I took my girlfriend to Disneyland Paris, and it was magical. We went on the Big Thunder Mountain, the Star Wars thing and then on the Pirates of the Caribbean one. She was sick and we had an argument about the praonunciation of Caribbean – she insisted on the American ‘ribby-an’, when it’s obviously ‘rib-beyan’ – but apart from that it was absolutely top notch. It gets at least two thumbs up from me!”
Alexander Bagpipes, 23, sca older www.disneylandparis.co.uk
THE TITANIC BELFAST
JET2 THE FUTURE... OR THE DALES
Travelling across Africa, maybe, but when it comes to travelling from Jersey to Gatwick to catch a connecting ﬂight, the journey is most deﬁnitely not the destination.
v om .. .i s t h at ? et e f on my
THE EIFFEL TOWER
“Absolutely smashing. From the top of the Ei el Tower, the view’s a bit like standing at Fort Regent and looking at St Helier, except its MASSIVE. Which in my book, is no bad thing. The missus was well chu ed.”
Luckily, for those looking to enjoy a citybreak but a soggy hop over the Channel Jet2 o er direct ﬂights from Jersey to destinations including Belfast and Leeds Bradford. You won’t have to turn up at the airport three days early and push to the front of the queue to get half decent seats as you would with a certain predominantly orange low-cost airline but will still beneﬁt from their ‘friendly low fares’ and 22kg baggage allowance. With the Yorkshire Dales on its doorstep, Leeds Bradford has much more to o er than just the vibrant city life of Leeds with its art galleries, theatres, boutiques and nightclubs but also the vast outside life that Yorkshire has to o er. If you’re into Medieval history be sure to pass by York to admire the York Minster and York Castle. If they’ve been good enough for Kings of ages gone by, they’re certainly good enough for you, Duck. If slightly more modern history is more your thing, then why not try Belfast instead? Streets lined with Edwardian architecture and 18th century saloons pale into insigniﬁcance in stark contrast to ‘The Titanic Belfast’, a futuristic structure built on the very site where the Titaic was built. Much like the Titanic, its vast, bold elevations project into the sky like the bow of a boat faced entirely in reﬂective glass panels, which I should think would work a treat at melting any surrounding ice. Or your face, so don’t forget your sunglasses, a hat and some factor 40. Of course, there’s plenty of picturesque countryside to roam outside of the city itself too, so choose wisely. Or choose both, without the hassle of connections, confusing baggage rules and unexpectedly escalating prices online. TAKE A LOOK AT JET2.COM TO FIND OUT MORE THE SHEEP IN THE YORKSHIRE DALES
Humphrey Waltzer, 34, IT consultant www.tour-ei el.fr
MOULIN ROUGE
“I’m all about the Belle Epoque era. For me, visiting the birthplace of the can-can was positively spiritual. Jewish people have the wailing wall, hippies have got Stone Henge, I’ve got the Moulin Rouge. My boyfriend took me here and it was well good. It was literally like being in a Baz Luhrmann ﬁlm. I kept expecting Nicole Kidman or Ewan McGregor to jump out! Or Missy Elliott and Christina Aguilera in their knickers! Lol!! Lovely stu .”
Jemima Puddleduck, 41,radiographer m.moulinrouge.fr
“No matter that a two hour treatment set my back 350 Euros, this chocolate massage impressed my ladyfriend no end. First she had a chocolate mint body scrub, then a Swiss chocolate and to ee body wrap, and then a massage with cocoa butter. Since we got back to Jersey, we’ve been recreating the experience all the time, using melted Mint Aeros, Twixes and Stork, but it’s nowhere near as good as the real thing.”
CHOCOLATE MASSAGE AT THE FOUR SEASONS
Simon Phoenix, 20, stuntman www.fourseasons.com
THE LOUVRE
“Last Valentine’s Day, me and my man went to the Louvre and queued up for almost two hours to get in, but it was well worth the wait. The Mona Lisa’s really good; I’ve always thought Rolf Harris was the best painter, but it turns out it’s actually Leonardo Di Caprio. I don’t know art but I know what I like!”
Samantha Jones-Balls, 30, ﬁreﬁghter www.louvre.fr
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TRAVEL
BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS
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TRAVEL
SKI PARADISKI & THE 3 VALLEYS VIA CHAMBERY
WORDS | GEOFF SPENCER-TUCKER OF JERSEYSKI.COM
ur winter ﬂight connections to the Alps for skiers and snowboarders have improved again this winter with the introduction of Blue Islands Saturday to Saturday ﬂights to Chambery. At JerseySki. com we have been sending people to Geneva and Zurich, and then mostly to resorts with no more than a 90 minute transfer time, so the new route opens up the possibilities of going to Paradiski and the 3 Valleys, and getting there sooner!
In mid December I went to see, and stay in, some of the resorts and properties that we are o ering with the new route, and just like our reconnaissance trip of the previous December, it bucketed down with over a metre and a half of snow. The previous trip had been a little fraught as I had hired a ﬁat 500 which, after the ﬁrst night, took nearly 2 hours to dig out and ﬁt the snow chains; this year I had booked a seat Ibiza hire car, but was astonished when Europcar upgraded me to a brand new Skoda Yeti 4x4 with winter tyres, this is the car that Jeremy Clarkson has called “the best car in the world.” Result! Our ﬁrst stop was in Plagne Montalbert, which is small, compact and picturesque, but with access by chairlift into the massive linked areas of Paradiski. We stayed at Chalet Anniek, which is a premium service catered chalet, with sauna and hot tub, run by Ski Amis, who were nominated for the British Travel Awards "Best Ski and Winter Sports Tour Operator 2012". After 2 very pleasant days and nights exploring the 10 interlinked villages spread over several sides of a mountain that make up the La Plagne area, it was time to move across to the 3 valleys, once the snowplough cleared the road! Courchevel 1850 has an airstrip, ritzy hotels and six Michelin starred restaurants, but its possible to do” Courchevel without the Courchevel price tag “ by staying at the Hotel Olympic which is in a central position just 200 metres from the slopes. The sky cleared for a time while I was there so I hired some of the biggest, fattest,
O
rockered skis I could ﬁnd, (Rossignol S 7’s) and dropped in to the fresh powder! Courchevel links up with Meribel and then over to Les Menuires and Val Thorens to make up the 3 valleys, the worlds biggest linked ski area with over 600 kilometres of pistes. Ski Amis also have some catered chalets with sauna and hot tub in Les Menuires which I was hoping to ski down to from Meribel Mottaret, but heavy snow closed in again with absolute zero visibility, and a high avalanche risk, so I decided to put it o for another time. Meribel Mottaret is above Meribel and is a compact ski in ski out resort with interlinked galleries of shops bars and restaurants at it’s centre. We stayed at the Hotel Mottaret which is unusual in the 3 valleys as it is all inclusive. There is a well equipped ski hire shop right next door to the hotel, and the pistes are 10 metres in front of the hotel, so it’s all very convenient. I hope you can join us on the slopes this winter!
JERSEYSKI.COM OFFER SNOWSPORT WEEKEND BREAKS, AND LONGER TRIPS BY AIR, TO SPECIALLY SELECTED RESORTS WHICH GEOFF HAS VISITED BLUEISLANDS FLIES DIRECT TO CHAMBERY DIRECT FROM JERSEY. WWW.BLUEISLANDS.COM
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CULTURE
MY NAME IS...
MY NAME IS...
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THE HARBOUR GALLERY RE-LAUNCH
The sad news of Elizabeth Le Gal’s retirement from The Harbour Gallery this March comes with a ray of hope as Pat Robson will be taking on another 5 year lease. Let’s start at the beginning: the re-launch. Taking place on the 7th February with the ‘Shine Exhibition’, which features work by Helena Mundy, Katherine Cadin, Clare Ormsby, Pink Willow, Linda Ranji and Lisa Le Brocq. Professor Edward Sallis, OBE, will be there to open the Harbour Gallery & the evening is free of charge. The whole gallery will be open for viewing! Next in line is ‘Up cycle Your Life’, taking the spotlight from 2nd to 10th March. Sponsored by Jersey Tourism, with the children’s workshops sponsored by Royal Bank of Canada, this event will feature exhibitions from both adults and children, as well as various talks from special guests in the evenings. There will also be a ‘work evening’, if anybody fancies tapping into their more artistic side. This event ends with a fashion show and there will be an exhibition and an auction to top it all o . There will be private tutorial sections, and larger workspaces. The Gallery as a whole will be introducing 10% student discount cards, a larger selection of art supplies, and will also be getting a makeover. It will be available for hire for evening events, corporate events, and civil celebrant events. They’re introducing a ‘Friend’s Membership’ discount, they’re o ering more work for local tutors, and a fair-trade yarn shop…. Basically anything and everything your artistic mind can imagine. They’ll be open 7 days a week, and I found myself wondering where she’ll ﬁnd the time to eat and sleep…
BBOYING WORKSHOPS
Having developed his skills on the ‘mean streets’ of St.Helier for the past three years, Scott Mills, aka Bboy Shadow from Total Mayhem Crew, is a local, self-taught Bboy who will teach you the moves in this series of Breakin’ workshops. By the end of the course you will be able to ‘throw down’ your own Breakin’ routine, using fundamental Top Rock, Floorwork, Freezes and Power Moves. ALL YOU NEED IS THE RIGHT ATTITUDE... VISIT ARTSCENTRE.JE FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE WORKSHOPS FOR ADULTS AND CHILDREN
LOVE THE ARTS
Jersey Arts Centre exists to foster the development and celebration of the arts. This year they have an even wider range of fantastic courses and they have searched the length and breath of Britain to bring us some wild, wonderful and unusual plays and performances.
One of the main aims of the Jersey Arts Centre is to “encourage participation in the performing, visual and literary arts” so why not help them achieve this goal by visiting artscentre.je and seeing if any of their courses tempt you into something new for the year ahead.
BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS
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CULTURAL FEAST
CULTURE VULTURE
AC OH JM FR
ARTS CENTRE OPERA HOUSE JERSEY MUSE FORT REGENT
: 700444 : 511115 : FACEBOOK: JERSEYMUSE : 449 600
OH 12TH & 13TH HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE
Come along to this magical show full of songs, laughter and audience participation – perfect for all ages. With an exciting and hilarious storyline that is bound to capture any child’s imagination: It’s the annual Jumping Over the Moon contest and competition is ﬁerce! However, with the two judges scared away by Wee Willie Winkie, the competition might have to be cancelled! Will they be found in time or will the event be ruined forever?
TICKETS £8.50-£10.50 // FAMILY TICKETS (2 ADULTS 2 CHILDREN/1 ADULT 3 CHILDREN) £33 // TUE 12TH 11AM // WED 13TH 11AM & 2PM // VISIT WWW. THEPANTOCOMPANY.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION.
15TH SING-A-LONG-A-GREASE
OH
With fancy dress strongly encouraged, will you be a Pink Lady or T-Bird for this sing-along night? After an initial vocal warm up with your show host, you’ll get a lesson in how to ‘hand jive’ and when to use the contents of your goody bag. The actual ﬁlm will have you boogeying in your seats and is guaranteed to get you singing at the top of your voice to John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John.
TICKETS £13.50-£15.50 // 8PM
22ND & 23RD PAM ANN – AROUND THE WORLD 2013
OH
Pam Ann is the BRAND NEW face of London Heathrow Sky Team’s Terminal 4 and is touching down in her favourite terminals across the UK. Direct from sell-out tours in Europe, USA and Australia, Pam Ann: ‘Around the World’ is set to take o in February 2013 for, 4 week only! Pam Ann takes passengers on a raucous journey from security check-in, to boarding, to hopefully, landing. Fasten your seatbelts, stow your designer hand luggage and prepare to be ﬂown like you’ve never been ﬂown before.
TICKETS £20-£26 // 8PM // AGES 16+ // FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT: WWW.PAMANN.COM
2ND & 3RD BEDELL DANCE WORKSHOPS
OH
Two Artistic Directors from the leading dance company ‘Replica Dance Company’ will be visiting the island to o er islanders the chance to learn about bespoke choreography and movements in workshops at the Jersey Opera House Studio Theatre as part of the Bedell Creative Arts Programme. The collective work will even be showcased at a unique concert at the Opera House on 7th September and is a great chance for anyone over the age of 14 to enhance their dance skills.
TICKETS £10-£15 // SAT 2ND 2-6PM // SUN 3RD 10AM-2PM
16TH MET OPERA: VERDI’S RIGOLETTO
OH
Based on Victor Hugo’s play Le roi s’amuse, Rigoletto is an opera in three acts by Guiseppe Verdi. Piotr Beczala sings the womanizing Duke, Željko Lucic is his tragic sidekick, Rigoletto, and Diana Damrau is Rigoletto’s daughter, Gilda. This new Met Opera production of the towering tragedy is set in 1960s Las Vegas. For all of you Opera fanatics out there, this is deﬁnitely a night you won’t forget!
TICKETS £15-£17.50 // 6PM // FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT WWW.METOPERAFAMILY.ORG
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14TH DIRTY DANCING
AC
Have the time of your life this St. Valentine’s Day by joining us for a romantic meal at caféjac, followed by a screening of the all-time favourite ‘Dirty Dancing’ which, last year, celebrated 25 years since its release date.
FOR TICKETS, MENU OPTIONS AND OTHER INFORMATION PLEASE VISIT ARTSCENTRE.JE // MEAL 6PM // FILM 8PM
2ND BLUE COUPE & STRAY
OH
Three iconic rock stars from Alice Cooper Group and Blue Oyster Cult make up Blue Coupe. Join the talented band for a note for note, full-throttle experience that will wow you! Cumulatively the trio have sold over 15 million albums and been awarded over 30 gold and platinum records wirld wide! So what are you waiting for? Grab your chance to witness this stunning band, guaranteed to blow you mind!
£20 // 20.00-22.00 // 511115 // BOXOFFICE@JERSEYOPERAHOUSE.CO.UK
12TH SALSA AND MERENGUE WORKSHOP
TICKETS £8.50 (MEMBERS) £10 (NON-MEMBERS) // 7-8.30PM
OH
If you’re struggling to look elegant and soulful on the dance ﬂoor then this is the course for you. You’ll be taken through the steps of these two extremely popular dances and learn a routine that is sure to impress everyone!
ODDSOCKS:
DOUBLE BILL
AC
THE GUFFIN
26TH - 28TH
AC BY HOWARD BRENTON / PRESENTED BY DRAMA LAB
R.O.G.E.R. Radio / Oddsocks Productions. Oddsocks follow up their hugely well received R.O.G.E.R. Radio The Mighty Beast production of 2012 with this evening of live radio interpretations of Jules Verne’s Journey To The Centre Of The Earth and Bram Stoker’s The Lair Of The White Worm – a night not to be missed!
TICKETS £10.20-£17 // 8PM
20TH - 23RD
Drama Lab’s young actors premiere this intriguing one act play about a strange object that changes the lives of those who touch it, forever. In March, this production will transfer to the Bristol Old Vic as part of the highly acclaimed National Theatre New Connections youth theatre festival.
TICKETS £5-£10 // 20TH – 22ND 7.30PM // 23RD 2PM & 7.30PM
CULTURE
UPLOAD
THE MONTHLY UPLOAD
WANT TO WIN £100? EMAIL YOUR PHOTOS (AROUND 4MB IS A GOOD SIZE) WITH THE SUBJECT ‘UPLOAD’ TO: UPLOAD@GALLERY.JE BEFORE THE DEADLINE OF 15TH FEBRUARY AND YOU’LL BE IN WITH A CHANCE. NEXT MONTH’S UPLOAD THEME IS ‘GROWTH’ SO GET THOSE CAMERAS READY AND GET SNAPPING FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN £100! IF YOU’RE THIS MONTH’S WINNER JUST GIVE GALLERY HQ A CALL ON 811100 TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE.
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BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS
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ORIGINALITY
ORIGINALITY
George Bush famously complained that one of America’s biggest problems was that ‘Too many of our imports come from overseas’. Being a small island nation it’s reasonable to assume that we may require the services and goods o ered elsewhere but wait, what about the amazing things we’re proud to say are home grown or crafted? As a mark of local provenance, Genuine Jersey ﬁght to unite and leverage the talents of our local producers. In a quest to help local business we feel it’s our duty to share some of these producers’ talents with you. For this month’s ‘lust’ theme we’ve selected some producers worth considering for Valentines’ day. Yes, you’re not going to get a Jersey made playstation but you could have some lovely home grown valentines goodness.
LOVE SEATS
LOVE BITES
LOVE BEADS
Evie. One of the latest additions to the LCC’s ‘Dressed and redy to go’ range. A small two seater Victorian Chesterﬁeld drop arm settee, she’s ready to be part of your family.
Moist Macarons. Nancy’s specialities are the classic French patisserie favourites; fraisier, bavarois, croquembouche, macarons and tarte au chocolat to name but a few.
The Petrushka Bracelet. With 72 carnelian beads and set with 51 white, brilliant cut diamonds, 0.37ct. Carnelian beads, named after the kornel cherry after the reddish, orange colour have been used in jewellery since ancient egyptian times.
There’s something beautiful about a family business. The Loving Chair Company is driven by the talent and vision of a three generation family team who together design fabrics, transform antique and vintage pieces of furniture into modern statement pieces and hand make soft furnishing accessories ‘through a revival of traditional craft skill and old-fashioned personal service that puts the customer ﬁrst’. The family also undertake curtain making and re-upholstering. The company has a made.com / threadless vibe with each item or piece they produce branded and named. You could ﬁnd yourself the keeper of an Evie, an Ellie or an Oscar Wilde. Sort of like owning a dog. That you can sit on. Without being reported to the JSPCA. The branding is fresh and they using local web developers to embrace and exploit online marketing to get their name known out there in the real world beyond our shores. They’ve even been on ‘Big Brother’. Approval indeed. If you’re looking for somewhere to, er, sit this Valentine’s day, check them out.
www.thelovingchaircompany.com
You know the story; successful career person throws it all in to pursue their passion. But... surely the Holy Grail is to maintain your career and also fulﬁl your creative dreams? The Hungry Lawyer’s Patisserie sees Nancy Chein doing exactly that, creating ‘the home of elegant, bespoke and fun patisserie products’. An experienced commercial lawyer, the Hungry Lawyer is hungry to share her passion for the sweet things in life with others. After 10 years of legal practice, she decided to leave the glass tower to immerse herself in the patisserie capital of the world, Paris, where she acquired the diplome in Patisserie at the prestigious Le Cordon Bleu School. She uses her culinary skills, knowledge of ﬂavours gathered by her travels around the world and slightly eccentric imagination to create extraordinary sweet delights, including tarts, entremets, cakes, macarons and chocolate tru es. All her products are made with the freshest Jersey ingredients, where possible, and she crafts her products so as to make the Jersey ingredients sing!
www.hungrylawyer.co.uk
Aurum Jewellers has been creating handmade bespoke jewellery and objets d’art since 1968, the year that Jerseyman and newly qualiﬁed goldsmith Richard Blampied established a small workshop in St Helier. You’ll no doubt have seen the windows at Charing Cross but you may not realise that a team of 7 goldsmiths now occupy more spacious workshop premises above the shop. They skillfully interpret and create private commissions and Alexa Blampied’s award winning collections and designs, many inspired by Jersey’s natural beauty. Aurum are Jersey through and through. Several of the silver items on view, which have been handmade in the workshop have a Jersey inspiration- for example the replica ‘bachins’, a copy of the traditional shallow cooking pot used in Jersey kitchens many years ago, and the striking and more contemporary parish tea or serving spoons depicting either the 12 parish crests, or corporate emblems. Silver items made in the workshop bear Richard Blampied’s registered silver hallmark, and also the Jersey crest, continuing the long standing tradition of Jersey silversmithing.
www.aurumjewellers.co.uk
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FASHION
FASHION
TREND NEWS
BANG ON TREND
OUR LUST LIST REVEALS WHAT IS GOING TO BE BIG IN 2013
SOPHIE HULME BAGS
RA I
Mulberry has been reigning the bag world for years now and many new designers have fallen by the wayside. But this year will see the rise of the rather fabulous Sophie Hulme whose stunning leather bags (complete with collectable gold charms) have been seen on every cool cat from here to timbuktu in the last few months.
NI
AVAILABLE FROM MANNA
NG AP O
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LY P
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J BRAND JEANS
BA LL S O F FI
They’re so comfy and ﬁt like a dream.
AVAILABLE FROM MANNA
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/L O
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RE
IN
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SK
IC
CUT OUT BRAS
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/G
Suggestive cut out bras look suitably sexy under straight laced shirts.
HD
HA
HO T
IR
CH
DR
IE
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MADE JEWELLERY
LA TE
W
IT
This fair trade accessories brand does collaborations with top jewellery designers and then has the work produced in Nairobi to support trade in Africa. We love their rings and easy-to-wear bracelets.
H
CR
EA
M
AN
We’ve always had a love a air with converse, and this year the ﬂame has been re-lit.
D
CONVERSE TRAINERS
AVAILABLE FROM JEFFS
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AR
AVAILABLE FROM ECLECTIC, LIBERTY WHARF
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AL
LO W S
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SELECTED T-SHIRTS
It’s what we have been asking for; a lovable well ﬁtting everyday tshirt but dressed up a bit.
SELECTED T-SHIRTS ARE AVAILABLE FROM PEBBLE
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SU
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Y
BE
AC H
ES
WIDE BRIMMED HATS
They frame your face perfectly for pics, and instantly make any outﬁt look styled.
BLACK & WHITE
2013 is all about the simple life. Which means a very muted colour palette. stick to monocrome to be bang on trend. Also stripes will be big again this summer!
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KIDS CORNER
WE HEART ROMEO!
Forget David and Victoria, we have a new favourite Beckham. This handsome cheeky chap steals the show in the latest Burberry campaigns. The latest shoot has made us fall back in love with this cult classic brit label.
BURBERRY CHILDRENS WEAR IS AVAILABLE FROM AXLEJUNIOR
TIMELESS
Time and time again Ralph Lauren come up with the most wonderful children’s ranges. Their winter wear was perfectly prim and pretty and their Spring Summer collections are some of the best we’ve seen yet. These are clothes that kids treasure. Start getting excited now!
RALPH LAUREN CHILDRENS WEAR IS AVAILABLE FROM AXLEJUNIOR
PSST...
We’ve just heard that the o-so-gorgeous Olive & Moss childrens wear will be available at Fashion Mum Boutique on The Parade. Pop in and get some to make your little monster look like butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths.
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BRAND NEWS
BRAND NEWS
LETTING YOU KNOW WHAT’S NEW AND EXCITING THIS MONTH...
IT’S BACK AND IT’S SET TO BE BIGGER
The Kenzo retro green tiger sweater was seen on every blogger and off duty model in cities across the world towards the end of 2012. This iconic brand, which started in the 70s is set to be huge this year.
SINCE IT IS THE MONTH OF LOVE...
RISING FASHION STAR
The new G-Star Raw campaign, shot by legendary photographer Anton Corbijn, features the Actor, Director, Musician and genral all round coolcat Vincent Gallo who is rocking the double denim look in a way that Bewitched could only dream of.
G-STAR JEANS ARE AVAILABLE FROM AXLEMAN.
Diamondology are now closer at hand then ever as they have moved into their elegant 1st ﬂoor Viewing O ce in the heart of St. Helier. The o ce is spacious, private and ready to o er their personal and sublime service to clients old and new. Pop in for a look and a piece of jewellery cleaned, any time in February and there’ll be a complimentary tea or co ee with your name on it, as well as their stunning diamonds of course.
FIRST FLOOR, 24-26 BROAD STREET, T 869927
Cover Star
TED BAKER
This iconic British brand’s 2013 offerings are awesome. Amazingly cut, super feminie and perfectly edgy. So watch the space up stairs at Voisins for exciting things to come.
Candice Swanepoel has landed the coveted cover shot for the Victoria’s Secret swimwear catalogue this year setting the path for her to become a world renowned supermodel. your girlfriends, we highly recommend ﬁrst popping to Fashion Mum Boutique and treating yourself to something that is going to enhance your new assets and cleverly hide your burgeoning bump; because, lets face it, if you’re looking good, you’re going to feel great - which is what you need to aim for with all the joyful ailments that pregnancy inﬂicts on you. Flattering day dresses, lush slouchy jumpers and even wow-factor floor length gowns fit for Miss Middleton, Fashion Mum has it all. As well as a brilliant array of wonderful bits for the soon-to-be bundle of joy.
ALL CLOTHING PICTURED AVAILABLE FROM FASHION MUM, THE PARADE, JUST DOWN FROM THE HOSPITAL.
EVERYONE’S AT IT
It may just be our age but there are baby bumps cropping up all over the place (not to mention the palace!). Kate Middleton, so far, hasn’t put a fashion-foot wrong, so the world is watching in anticipation eager to see how she’ll cope with styling a bump on board (or rather, how her team of fashion advisers will cope). It can be very tricky to summon the energy during pregnancy to give two hoots about what you’re wearing, after all, you are rather pre occupied growing another human, so more trivial things seem to fall a little by the wayside. However, no doubt there are inevitably going to be times where you have to pull it all together and venture out. Whether it is to a smart a air, or just a lunch with
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STYLE STALKER
FASHION
StyleStalker
words | Laura Costard
We sent our Style Stalker out to the street of St Helier, camera in hand, to ﬁnd some fashionable folk who are ahead of the trends and working their own style.
Paige, 19, Student
“I had a casual job interview” Paige has such a fashionable-without-trying vibe going on I love her casual laid back style - the khaki leather mix coat being contrasted with the knitted scarf to set it o perfectly
Nadia, 33, Bartender
“It was cold so I layered up my jeans” I’m in love with Nadia’s wool mix coat - with a slight masculine feel and oversized look it gives a nod to both trends simultaneously!
Martha, 15, Student
“It’s my Dad’s coat and I quite like it!” Martha’s look is deﬁnitely shabby-chic with a slight vintage feel and I absolutely love it! I’m jealous of the way she’s been able to style up her Dad’s coat and her tan coloured satchel breaks up the darker colours, emphasising her outiﬁt choice.
Patricia, 40, Hairdresser at Hartley’s
“You can wear converse with anything! I think that something designer always works well with vintage” Patricia has contrasted her gorgeous glamourous fur coat (very in this season) with classic converse, which makes each item stand out extremely well, while at the same time being stylish yet practical.
BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS
India, 22, Sales Advisor
“I just styled up my work clothes a bit!” A stylish coat is key to any successful outﬁt this winter and India’s got the perfect one! Kahki is a big yes this season and the fur collar is the perfect little extra. I also love how she’s givena nod to the sports luxe trend by wearing high tops.
Linda, 21+, Homemaker
“I wanted a casual yet smart outﬁt and absolutly adore my cashmere scarf!” Neons are back in, so watch out! However, if they’re just not your thing, yet you still want to brighten up your outﬁt, take advice from Linda - she’s taken a classic combo, added a beautiful vibrant scarf and some fur to stay bang on trend!
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GALLERY FASHION FEBRUARY 2013
PHOTOGRAPHY & STYLING | DANNY EVANS HAIR AND MAKEUP | DECIA AT KISS AND MAKE UP MODEL | SARAH ALL BEDDING FROM WHITE COMPANY CUSHION COVERS £54 EACH, LARGE COVER £270
AUBADE SILK CREAM SHORTS £65 AND CREAM SILK TOP £95 FROM ADORNE FUR JACKET £979 FROM MARC CAIN
CLEO NATASHA CAMO PRINT THONG £10.50 FROM CLEO NATASHA CAMO PRINT BRA £22 FROM MISS LELEC SWAROVSKI SALOME PENDANT JET £89.95, SALOME RING £118.95, SWAROVSKI INTERVALLE BANGLE THIN BLUE £93.95 ALL FROM SWAROVSKI
PLAYFUL PROMISEN VAMP BLACK CORSELETTE £55.95 FROM PLUMS SWAROVSKI RELOAD NECKLACE £223.95 FROM SWAROVSKI
WHITE LABEL CRIMSON PLEASURE STATE TEDDY £65 FROM ADORNE SWAROVSKI SWAIN NECKLACE REDUCED TO £158 FROM £236.95 AVAILABLE FROM SWAROVSKI
CLEO MEG BIRD PRINT BRIEF £10 CLEO MEG BIRD PRINT BRA £22 FROM MISS LELEC SWAROVSKI INTERVALLE BANGLE BLACK AND GOLD £93.90, SWAROVSKI STYLE NECKLACE £69 REDUCED FROM £109.95 FROM SWAROVSKI
HEALTH&BEAUTY
BEAUTY HEALTH AND BEAUTY NEWS
BEAUTY NEWS
PERFECT FOR VALENTINE’S DAY!
DETOX YOUR MIND, BODY AND SOUL AT THE L’HORIZON HEALTH CLUB & SPA
The perfect present for your over worked partner is a Detox Spa Day where they’ll get to enjoy the use of the Spa facilities then have a detox back, neck and shoulder massage and a full body salt scrub. £69 per person Monday - Thursday £85 per person Friday - Sunday. Or if you want to have a wonderful escape then their Detox spa break for two could be perfect! Enjoy one night bed and breakfast in the Hotel, use of the facilities, towel, robe and slippers plus a detox back, neck and shoulder massage and a full body salt scrub. £130 per person Sunday - Friday £140 per person Saturday (prices based on two people sharing)
CALL L’HORIZON HEALTH CLUB & SPA ON 494433 FOR INFORMATION OR TO BOOK
STUDENT HAIRDRESSING SUCCESS AT AVALON HAIR & BEAUTY
Apprentice Hairdresser Claudia Pinto has recently been awarded ‘Student of the year for the International Vocational Certiﬁcate in Hairdressing 2012’. 18 year old Claudia has just completed the one year programme at Highlands College, which included 2 days a week in the placement scheme at Avalon. Claudia’s placement was so successful she was o ered an Apprenticeship in September 2012. Student of the year is awarded on attendance, motivation and the completion of high quality written work/ examination results, which Claudia met all of the desired criteria. Ellie Johnson of Highlands College said “Claudia is a highly motivated student who started with us on Level 1 Hair & Beauty and is now on her way to achieving her ambition to become a hairdresser.” Claudia joined the day release programme in September and is currently studying the NVQ Level 2 Hairdressing programme, which will enable her to progress to Level 3. Tania Moyse and Steve Maguire, Directors of Avalon commented: “We are both exceptionally proud and delighted Claudia has been awarded ‘Student of the year for the International Vocational Certiﬁcate in Hairdressing’. Her enthusiasm in hairdressing has shone through and we are extremely pleased with her development progress. Claudia has become an integral member of our team at Avalon”.
MOMO
THIS BRILLIANT FISH SPA OFFERS SO MUCH MORE THAN THEIR WONDERFUL GARRA RUFA SIGNATURE FISH PEDICURES
Also with Valentine’s Day on the horizon if you spend £25 on gifts (excluding vouchers) you receive a free voucher for a free ﬁsh spa - this is the ideal gift for the girl who has everything!
FAB FEB OFFER
With your feet all wrapped up under layers of tights, socks and boots they can get a bit neglected over the winter months so why not treat them to a bit of TLC and try out one of Momo’s Hot Stone Foot Massages and have your tootsies glammed up with an Orly or Gelani Gel polish? Or even better, get a few of the girls together and have a fun Momo Party.
For every Pedicure you have you will receive a Manicure half price or if you have a Manicure you can have a Shape n’ Polish on your toes for FREE!
*not in conjunction with any other o ers - not valid for 14th / 15th / 16th February MOMO IS LOCATED IN LIBERTY WHARF - CALL 880890 TO BOOK
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OPEN THE DOOR TO A BEAUTIFUL NEW PLACE THIS YEAR
Places is published fortnightly in print and includes properties from Jersey’s quality estate agents Also available online, Places.je is Jersey’s online property portal Visit today to search for your next place
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PRODUCTS TO LUST AFTER FOR 2013
A GIRL’S GOTTA HAVE THE RIGHT TOOLS
The new Ted Baker beauty tools are oh so pretty and are not only practical but will look gorgeous in your beauty bag.
AVAILABLE FROM WWW.TEDBAKER.COM
THE LOOK OF LOVE
This gorgeous gold packaged mascara is designed to evenly coat your lashes for impeccable uniformity. The clever criss-cross brush separates lashes and spreads the long lasting formula without clumping.
THE GUERLAIN MAXI LASH MASCARA IS AVAILABLE FROM VOISINS
BUY A BUNNY BAG! FACIAL IN A BOTTLE
Accumulation of fatigue, everyday stress, hectic lifestyle, pollution... Skin is overworked, it becomes clogged, and sometimes loses the ability to rid itself of the toxins that dull its radiance. Skin needs a break, an “instant boost” to purify itself, recharge its batteries and ﬁnd renewed energy. And that is what the team at Sisley have come up with their new Botanical D-Tox acts on all three major levels of the skin’s detoxiﬁcation chain leaving you with plump glowing skin.
SISLEY PRODUCTS ARE AVAILABLE IN VOISINS
Leap, bounce or maybe even bunny hop into spring with a clear conscience and beautiful hair with a limited edition Cruelty Free Paul Mitchell Bunny Bonus Bag! There are lots of di erent options all for di erent hair type containing the perfect selection of products to allow you to recreate that ‘just stepped out of the salon look’ at home. Purchasing one will help the organisation Cruelty Free International who Paul Mitchell are big supporters of. They have never tested their products of animals and never will. So you’ll have a clear conscience and fabulous hair; ready to go out and cause some trouble!
PAUL MITCHELL PRODUCTS ARE AVAILABLE FROM RIO HAIR & BEAUTY
SEXY NEW SCENT
Guerlain’s La Petite Robe Noire smells good enough to eat! Made with rich apple, blackcurrant and juicy cherries notes it is a fresh and sparkling scent and it’s delicate silky musk notes last subtly all day. This is a wonderful girly fragrance that would make a lovely Valentine’s gift.
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APPETITE
APPETITE
LET’S GET MASHED
(THAT’S A BREWING PUN, RATHER THAN ADVOCATION OF IRRESPONSIBLE DRINKING)
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JO’S SIZE-FIVE BOOTS ARE REJECTED BECAUSE THEY STILL HAVE JERSEY LIVE MUD ON THEM, SO SHE GETS A REPLACEMENT PAIR OF SIZE-NINES, AND WE’RE GOOD TO GO
WORDS | Tom Innes
It’s 8am on a freezing morning on the Longueville Industrial Estate. Tatty old clothes are the order of the day, and you can still see your breath in front of your face even having walked inside. No o ence to my fellow brewers, but lust is about the last thing that springs to mind. I’ve been signed up on a one-day apprenticeship at the Liberation Brewery with fellow novice Jo Reed, whose day-job is marketing for Liberation Group. Both of us have been on our fair share of brewery tours before, but have never previously rolled our sleeves up and donned our wellies. Jo’s sizeﬁve boots are rejected because they still have Jersey Live mud on them, so she gets a replacement pair of size-nines, and we’re good to go. Ready, steady, brew! We’re not helping brewer Pat Dean with any old ale, but a batch of Liberation Rouge that is to be submitted for the biennial Brewing Industry International Awards. Liberation won two gold and a silver last time around, in 2011, and hopes are high for further success. No pressure then… Many breweries are automated these days, including the larger of Liberation’s two
B
EARING IN MIND THAT IT’S ALL ABOUT LUST IN THE FEBRUARY ISSUE, THE BREWING FEATURE DOESN’T NECESSARILY GET OFF TO THE BEST OF STARTS.
plants, but Pat’s ‘o ce’ is a more bijou a air, and that means being hands-on, whether or not your wellies ﬁt. We kick o by heaving half a dozen 50kilo bags of malted barley into an outsize (4-foot-high) saucepan, known as a mash tun, and adding hot water to give a big batch of porridge. After an hour or so the liquid part of the mix, known as ‘wort’, is drained o . The solids are shovelled out into dustbins by yours truly to be sold o as animal feed – their journey across the Island will be chronicled in a future issue of Gallery, although I’m washing my hair that day. The wort is transferred to a copper kettle, twice the height of the mash tun, and boiled with hops, which are the main source of ﬂavour for beer. As with the barley, there’s a speciﬁc recipe of di erent amounts of various hops for each di erent beer. Hops can cost as much as £17 per kilo, and are sourced from around the globe, with England, New Zealand and the USA being major growers.
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APPETITE
Further hop ﬂavour is imparted in another vessel, known as a hop back, after which the wort is transferred into a fermenting vessel. It has been as high as 70C during the process, but now is down to about 20C, a suitable mark to pour in a couple of gallons of gloopy light-brown yeast, which will start to work on the sugars in the wort and, by turning them into alcohol and carbon dioxide, making wort into a more appetising four-letter word – beer! Once the yeast is added, which would typically be around seven or eight hours after getting started, it’s necessary to sit back and wait. Fermentation times vary, but this batch of Rouge – about 300 gallons in all – will be ready in about four days, by which time thirst levels, and perhaps even lust levels, will be at bursting point. Jo and I are thanked for our hard work by Pat, even though we are setting o without helping him ﬁnish o the clearing-up. We pledge to come back for another brew on another day, although if ‘our’ beer wins an award, we may get signed up by a Premier League brewer on a mega-bucks deal. Who knows, it might even involve a lucrative Wellington boot endorsement clause – if that’s not something to lust after, then what is?
KNOW YOUR BREWING
THE INTERNATIONAL BEER AWARDS (IBA) HAVE TAKEN PLACE, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A HIATUS IN THE LATE ‘NOUGHTIES’, EVERY TWO YEARS SINCE 1984 JUDGING IS A MAMMOTH PROCESS, TAKING PLACE ACROSS THREE DAYS WITH A TEAM OF 30 JUDGES FROM ACROSS THE WORLD. THIS YEAR’S JUDGING IS IN BURTON-ON-TRENT IN MID-FEBRUARY LIBERATION’S HEAD BREWER IS PAUL HURLEY, WHO IS APPROACHING 30 YEARS OF SERVICE AND HAS BEEN AN IBA JUDGE ON FOUR OCCASIONS. HE ADMITS TO BEING SICK WITH NERVES BEFORE HIS FIRST JUDGING SESSION IN 2000. JUDGES ARE NEVER GIVEN THEIR OWN BEERS TO TASTE, INSTEAD BEING ALLOCATED TO OTHER CATEGORIES. BUT IN 2011 PAUL WAS ABLE TO WITNESS THE AWARDS THAT PUT JERSEY ON THE BREWING MAP: A GOLD FOR LIBERATION ALE, AND BOTH SILVER AND GOLD (IN SEPARATE CATEGORIES) FOR MARY ANN BEST AS WELL AS THE JERSEY BREWERY AT LONGUEVILLE, THE LIBERATION GROUP HAS 69 PUBS ACROSS THE CHANNEL ISLANDS, 44 OF THEM IN JERSEY AS WELL AS DISTRIBUTION, RETAIL AND WHOLESALE ARMS THE SIX BREWERS WHO MAKE ALL THE BEERS HAVE A COMBINED TOTAL OF 160 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE.
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APPETITE
APPETITE NEWS
JERSEY CHESHIRE HOME ‘30’ MINUTE TEA PARTY
As a nation of tea and cake lovers, we challenge you to all dig deep in those kitchen cupboards and pockets to take part in a 30 Minute Tea Party at your club, o ce, home or even your street. Bake a cake and brew some tea (or co ee!) and help raise money for an inspirational cause. FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT WWW.JERSEYCHESHIREHOME.JE OR FACEBOOK/JERSEYCHESHIREHOME
A COCKTAIL FOR VALENTINE’S DAY
THE BAR TEAM AT THE RADISSON BLU HAVE COME UP WITH A TASTY TREAT FOR THE MONTH OF LURRRVE... INGREDIENTS: Vodka Peach Schnapps Passion fruit liquor Strawberry Syrup Sugar Syrup 25ml 25ml 5ml 5ml 5ml METHOD: • Shake, and pour into Martini Glass then leave to settle • Top up with Tonic • Add a dash of Grenadine • Garnish: 2 ‘hugging’ cocktail cherries and a frozen heart shaped strawberry
“ LOVE FIZZ ”
A WINTER WARMER
From the turning of the leaves, covered up knees and naked trees to warm boots and chunky knits - it is clear that winter is well and truly upon us. But this season mulled wine and roaring ﬁres aren’t the only things to keep people toasty. Rekorderlig, the premium cider from Sweden, are ensuring drinkers can warm up with their Winter Cider. This Winter treat is best enjoyed warm with a slice of orange to create the perfect cinnamon infused, mulled cider experience on a chilly winter day. When drank the traditional way, served cold over ice, strong vanilla tones emerge leaving an intensely crisp and refreshing cider. Made with a blend of ﬁnest apples infused with the essence of vanilla and cinnamon; the spicy aromas make it the perfect drink to bring cheer and warmth on a cold winter day. This limited edition o ering makes its second appearance to Jersey shores and is now available from a liated Rekorderlig stockists*. Other ciders in the Rekorderlig range include Pear, Apple, Wild Berries, Mango and Raspberry, Apple and Blackcurrant and Strawberry and Lime.
*Available though Victor Hugo Shop, Grande March, Coops, Wine Warehouse, Corkscrews, Checkers, Benests, Dunells, and now at Spar and other a liated stores.
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APPETITE
WE HAVE A
WINNER!
Congratulations to the winner of our Radisson Blu competition Adrien Sadowski who won a one-on-one cooking lesson with their award winning head chef Robert Cauchio and an overnight stay. HERE ARE A FEW PHOTOS OF ADRIEN IN ACTION PRACTISING HIS CRAFT - WELL DONE!
WARM POTATO PANCAKE WITH SMOKED SALMON & SCRAMBLED EGGS
SHAUN RANKIN SAYS: “THIS DISH MANAGES TO BE BOTH DELICIOUS AND ELEGANT SO IT’S PERFECT FOR IMPRESSING YOUR PARTNER ON VALENTINE’S DAY – YOU COULD EVEN MAKE THE PANCAKE HEART SHAPED! IF YOU DON’T GO IN FOR THE WHOLE ROMANCE THING THOUGH THIS WOULD ALSO MAKE A NICE BIRTHDAY TREAT.”
SPECIAL EQUIPMENT 2 non-stick blini pans or similar moulds INGREDIENTS 1 tbsp sea salt 1 large Marfona potato 6 eggs 1/2 tbsp chives Salt and cracked black pepper Olive oil 1 tbsp milk 10g unsalted butter 100g smoked salmon METHOD Preheat the oven to 160°C (325°F/Gas 3). Sprinkle the sea salt on a small baking tray, place the potato on top and bake in the oven for 50 minutes. When the potato comes out, put the blini pans/moulds on a roasting tray and into the oven to get hot. Cut the potato in half and scoop out the middle into a bowl. Discard the skins. Weigh out 125g of potato and discard any excess. It is important at this stage that the potato is still warm. Separate 2 of the eggs and add the yolks and half of the chives to the potato and whisk in well. Season with salt and black pepper. In a clean bowl, whisk the egg whites to ﬁrm peaks. Using a metal spoon, carefully fold the whisked egg whites into the potato mix, taking care not to knock the air out of the whites. Lift the blini pans/moulds out of the oven and add a drizzle of olive oil to each. Using a spoon, divide the potato mixture equally between the pans/moulds. Put back into the oven and bake for 15 minutes until cooked and golden brown. Allow to cool slightly before removing them from their pans/moulds. Keep warm. Crack the remaining eggs into a bowl add the milk and whisk. Heat the butter in a saucepan, add the egg mix and then turn the heat down to low. Using a wooden spoon, move the egg mix in the pan until the eggs are just cooked. Finish with the remaining chives and remove from the heat. To serve, place the pancakes in the middle of the plate, curl the smoked salmon on top and then add the creamy scrambled eggs.
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Jerseyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only specialist property magazine & portal | no. 74 | February 1st 2012
The best place to find a new place in Jersey
view all properties from all quality agents at www.places.je
THIS EDITION:
ON THE COVER: Villa Rayson on the market with Choice Properties GET THE LOOK: We show you how to achieve a Feminine Vintage interior
Jerseyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most comprehensive property platform for home buyers and sellers. Use one of these brands and get your property advertised in the right Places, in print and online.
EDGE COX PEEL WILSON
ESTATE AGENTS
PLACES
PROPERTY PROFILE
£725,000
ST LAWRENCE 3 BEDROOMS 3 BATHROOMS PARKING FOR 4 CATEGORY A-H
VILLA RAYSON
V
illa Rayson wouldn’t be a bad place to live if it was dropped into the middle of a housing estate surrounded by tower blocks; you could always just draw the blinds and enjoy the great indoors. Throw in its actual location, a hundred or so steps from the beach and with stunning views across St Aubin’s Bay, and it becomes a property that demands, at the very least, a second glance.
in St Lawrence and has been refurbished to a high standard over the past ﬁve years by the owner, a property designer who collaborated with a London-based interior designer on the project. Ascending a low-lit staircase from the front door, there’s an immediate wow-factor on entering the drawing room, which has a high (2.7 metre) ceiling, Chesney stone ﬁreplace, recessed shelves and cupboards and a Lutron lighting system that allows for a range of pre-set ‘moods.’ There are views directly out to the east, but the eye’s more likely to be caught by the south-facing vista: the room drops away to a sunken dining area with a bespoke table
and huge windows on three sides, opening up the panoramic views stretching from Fort Regent to Noirmont Point. Doors open onto a huge balcony, which comes with the same views, surround sound system and LED lighting as the interior. The ﬁrst-ﬂoor also contains the kitchen, with granite work surfaces, under-ﬂoor heating and a large ceramic sink with a view. To the rear lies a small amenities room, keeping some of the household appliances accessible but out-of-sight, the stone-ﬂoored ‘house’ bathroom, and the master bedroom. The high ceilings in the bedroom are accentuated by a raised custom-designed headboard, while the room also features Victorian radiators, an
The three-bedroom, three-bathroom duplex apartment lies just back from The Avenue
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“ Villa Rayson is a home that most owners would want to show off, and is perfectly-equipped for entertaining ”
airing cupboard and an en suite showerroom with atmospheric lighting, doublewidth shower and sink and under-heated slate ﬂooring. Stairs – featuring a Victorian-style Mahogany balustrade – lead to the upper ﬂoor, which has two good-sized bedrooms, one of which has recently seen service as an o ce, with a small but well-appointed shower room in between. Other features of the property, which is available through Choice Properties at an asking price of £725,000, include a private garden area with lawn and patio and four parking spaces. Villa Rayson is a home that most owners would want to show o , and is perfectlyequipped for entertaining. The kitchen has a freestanding range cooker with six rings and a double oven, with dinner guests accommodated either on the balcony, or inside in the dining area, which seats 12 people (the table is one of several pieces of custom-built furniture that would potentially be available to a purchaser). The pressure to cook and entertain need not be overwhelming however: if it’s an impromptu gathering, or you’re just feeling lazy, stroll 99 of the 100 or so metres to the beach, and catering courtesy of Pizza Quarter is right there. What you might call a win-win scenario.
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PLACES
B. A. N. J. O.
80
B
anjo opened in late 2012 following an extensive refurbishment of the 10,000 sq ft former Victorian Gentlemen’s Club at 8 Beresford Street next to St Helier’s historic market. It has rapidly become one of St Helier’s most popular venues, regularly welcoming over three hundred daily diners to its two European-style “grand-brasserie” restaurants and all-day Banjo Bar-Café. Discretely located on the ﬁrst ﬂoor above the bustle of the ground ﬂoor Dining Room, Brasserie and Bar-Café, there are three private dining and event rooms for up to 150 with their own dedicated kitchen and pantry. The second ﬂoor contains its own urban oasis with four individually decorated bedrooms named after Ernest Jones, Banjoist and inspiration behind the venue’s name, and his band members Percy, Edith and Leslie.
beds with Naturalmat organic and nonallergenic mattresses made with luxurious materials including cashmere, British lambswool and mohair. The mini-bars are stocked with complimentary drinks and snacks and rooms have Nespresso co ee machines, BOSE music centres with iPod docks, ﬂat screen T.V.’s and phones enabling guests to receive direct dial calls and make free local calls. In keeping with Banjo’s aim of providing a “Five Star” private guest house experience for overnight guests, Banjo does not provide in-room dining, laundry, fax machines, a gym or a 24 hour concierge but most services are available nearby in St Helier and their team will be delighted to help you locate anything you need if they can’t provide it in Banjo. And of course there are always the wonderful facilities of Banjo on the ﬂoors below to enjoy whether you are a business visitor, on holiday or just want a short trip to a wonderful bed after dinner!
The rooms, which range from a luxurious 45m2 two-bedroom suite to a 20m2 boutique hotel room, are individually decorated by the Jersey Pottery design team and all have beautiful en suite bathrooms and king-size
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION VISIT WWW.BANJOJERSEY.COM AND FACEBOOK/BANJOJERSEY
JERSEY’S STYLE MAGAZINE
We’re aware there are other food guides, food ‘festivals’ and other lesser quality magazines out there. What appetite o ers is a targeted, all encompassing marketing campaign that is food focused and draws on a network of promotion.
2013 sees added value, including an advertisement and exposure in Gallery and marketing through our new ‘Savour’ premium online marketing site. If you’re a restaurant looking to reach locals and tourists alike call Charlie Smith on 07700 811104
FB APPETITEJERSEY
TW APPETITEJERSEY
WWW.APPETITEJE
PLACES
FINISHING TOUCHES
This month we’ve rounded up a fab selection of brilliant products to complete your perfect love nest...
1. Small Love Jug De Gruchy £6.49 2 Heart Ice Tray De Gruchy £3.99 3. Live Laugh Love De Gruchy £14.99 4. Cookie Cutters Le Lievres £3.80 5. Food Pod Le Lievres £12.99
6. Floral Apron Pebble £24.00 7. Tea Cosy Pebble £16.50 8. Oven Glove Pebble £10.00 9. Print and Frame Pebble £16.50 10. Cake Stand Voisins £62.00
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Charles Le Maistre Legal Assistant | Collas Crill
Homebuyers’ FAQs
Collas Crill property expert Charles Le Maistre answers some of your most common homebuying questions.
1) Am I a ﬁrst time buyer?
There is often confusion over who a 1st time buyer is in Jersey and how this e ects Stamp Duty. Quite simply, a 1st time buyer is anyone who has housing qualiﬁcations and has never owned, or had an interest in any property anywhere. A 1st time buyer can purchase by share transfer, ﬂying freehold or freehold and assuming that the value of the property is less than £450,000 then they are entitled to a reduction in Stamp Duty or Land Transaction Tax (in the case of share transfer properties). 1st time buyers also beneﬁt from reduced Stamp Duty in respect of any loan.
2) How is stamp duty calculated?
Stamp duty and Land Transaction Tax (LTT) is calculated on a ﬁxed tari based on the value of the property being purchased (but not including the value of any contents). Your lawyer can advise you of the total cost. Any borrowing which you use to ﬁnance your purchase will incur additional Stamp Duty or LTT, which is currently calculated at 0.5% of the borrowed amount plus an additional £80 registration fee.
3) What will my legal fees be and what other costs need to be considered?
11. Cashmere Socks Voisins £28.00 12. Chopping Board Voisins £35.00 13. Candles ‘The Collection’ Voisins £40.00 14. Wild Mint Hand Lotion Voisins £12.60 15. Milk or Water Jug Voisins £27.50
Unfortunately, although they are the most signiﬁcant, the consideration and stamp duty are not the only costs that need to be considered when buying a property. Fees associated with any purchase start with conveyancing fees, which vary according to the complexity of the transaction and the type of property being purchased. Don’t be scared to pick up the phone, we o er free quotations and are more then happy to discuss the fees speciﬁc to your transaction. It is worth bearing in mind that cheap quotes often mean cheap service and any issues missed when purchasing, can result in expensive issues when you come to sell, so choose your lawyers carefully!
If you have a property question that you would like to ask Charles please email him at: charles.lemaistre@collascrill.com quoting ‘Gallery – Ask the expert’. Alternatively, make a free half hour advice appointment with Charles for a more detailed chat about your requirements.
www.collascrill.com t: +44 (0)1534 601777 charles.lemaistre@collascrill.com
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ESTATE AGENTS
1 3 2 3 2 3
1 3 2 3 2 3
£355,000
SHARE TRANSFER A-J
£479,000
FREEHOLD A-H
3 2 3 2 3
3 4 3 3
£585,000
FREEHOLD A - J
£649,950
FREEHOLD A-J
Detached property
3 3 2 3
4 3 5 3 3
£695,000
FREEHOLD A-J
£1,295,000
FREEHOLD A-J
www.legallais.co.uk
Snuggle up to your loved one in front of this amazing replace in this beautiful country house...
1 10 Rf
4:
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2 s, om
8 Esplanade. St Helier. www.redproperties.je
01534 710710
ba th ro om
sÂŁ
59
5k
PLACES
Interiors Update
I should coco
This is a shop which is very easy to get carried away in. Rococo is a treasure trove of art and unique gifts. They have a fantastic range of products by local Jersey artists as well as some truly wonderful recycled and fair-trade products. If you are ever stuck for gift ideas then this is the place to go, they have things for all ages, from cute fairies and stunning jewellery to rubber ducks! There is a risk though, as you head in there with all the good intentions to get a present for a loved one, that as you exit with bags full of fabulous goodies you’ll have to aboutturn and head back in remembering to get something for that loved one! ROCOCO IS IN LIBERTY WHARF
Get the look
Throughout 2013 we will be seeing a big resurgence of the ‘feminine vintage’ trend which started in 2001 as a back lash to all the hundreds of beech-wood-and-shinystainless-steel soulless interiors that were cropping up at the time. What’s fab about this trend is that it is easily achievable on a budget. Simply search antiques shops for good furniture, get some key items from your favourite boutique shops and add pastle coloured paints and ﬂowers.
CLEAR CHANDELIER FROM ROCOCO IN LIBERTY WHARF U ART BOARD £14.90, TABLET OR LAPTOP CASE £39 & BUTTERFLY TRAY £42 ALL FROM ECLAT IN GOREY VILLAGE VINTAGE CHANDELIER FROM WWW.HANSENWHOLESALE.COM
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Love notes
We are lusting after pieces of word art which will be a big theme of interiors this year. Here is a little selection of our favourite ‘love’ ones which could make fab original Valentine’s gifts. ALL AVAILABLE FROM PEBBLE
A kitchen to lust after with all its sexy ﬂawless details revealed
THE BULTHAUP B3 APPLEWOOD, WHITE LAMINATE AND STAINLESS STEEL The incredibly neat Bulthaup laser welded integrated sink and drainer, with wall mounted Bulthaup tap, counter mounted Zip tap, and 4 Bulthaup ‘function boxes for totally neat storage at the back of the worktop. Superb run of two 900mm wide Gaggenau fridge freezers, oven, steam oven, warming drawer and zone controlled wine fridge.
Bread board, knife block and utensil dividers, all made from steamed maple with smooth rounded metal corners
Detail of the applewood island with its 10mm slim stainless steel worktop beveled to perfection
BULTHAUP KITCHENS ARE AVAILABLE FROM BULTHAUP WINCHESTER. CALL 01962 849000 OR VISIT: WWW.BULTHAUP-WINCHESTER.CO.UK
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FEATUREDSELECTION
St Ouen
£569,000
St Clement
£695,000
St Saviour
£595,000
3
2
A-K A-J
4
2
A-H
4
2
A-K A-J
• Playroom • Detached Property • Lawned Garden And Decked Area • Garage & Ample Parking • St Ouen Village Location
• Beautiful New Build • Great Location • Modern Fixtures And Fittings • Spacious Accommodation • Garage And Additional Parking
• Detached Bungalow On Large Plot • Spacious Kitchen / Diner • Large Garden With Rural Views • Single Garage And Ample Parking • Available Immediately
01534 639955
St Saviour £649,000
01534 766689
St Brelade
ESTATE AGENTS
01534 710710 730341
St Martin £875,000
£425,000
4
3
A-J
3
2
A-K A-J
5
3
A-K A-J
• Select, Sought After Development • Convenient Yet Rural Location • In Excellent Condition Throughout • Allocated Parking And Garden • Sensibly Priced To Sell - A Must View!
• Delightful Cottage • Period Features • Contemporary Bathrooms • Sunroom • South Facing Garden
• Family Home • Fantastic Vaulted Glazed • Possible 2 Generation • Stylish Modern Fixtures Throughout • Underﬂoor Heating + Centrevac System
01534 710710
01534 639955
01534 710710
BUSINESS
BUSINESS
JERSEY ENTREPRENEURS
ON THE SOFA
NICKY HOLGATE SMITH & JOHN RICHARDS
LOVE2SWIM
SO, TELL US WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO GET THIS OFF THE GROUND? Having both clocked up many years working as Swimming Teachers and Squad Coaches we learnt our trade and gained valuable experience both good and bad that we believed would stand us in good stead, to start our own business. We have always wanted to run our own swim school. We are both Dyslexic and so we used each other’s strengths and realised very early on each of our weaknesses which was important to get Love-2-Swim o the ground. WHAT DID YOU DO PRIOR TO STARTING THIS BUSINESS? Nicky- I’ve worked full time in the Leisure Industry as a Fitness Instructor/Lifeguard, Trainer Assessor and Swim Teacher/Coach for 20 years. John- I’ve been a full time Gardener for many years alongside working as a part-time Lifeguard and Swimming Teacher, for a number of Swim Schools and Swim Clubs based in Jersey. DID THAT TEACH YOU ANY LESSONS THAT HELPED YOU SUCCEED? Teaching swimming has always been a way of life for us, it’s what makes us tick, we both love what we do hence the name Love-2Swim. We have always worked in a customer focused environment and love helping others, setting up our business was a natural progression for us to take. We both wished we’d had the courage to have done it earlier! WHAT’S THE HARDEST LESSON YOU’VE LEARNT SINCE STARTING THE BUSINESS? Working 12 hour days and working 7 days a week was a bit of a shock to the system! Also coping with all the paperwork is a bit of a struggle for us, so we thank God for John’s wife Alison who does all our book keeping! ANY FUNNY STORIES THAT YOU HAVE ABOUT THE BUSINESS STARTING OUT?! Trying to convince John that we need to spend to accumulate! It’s still a work in progress, bribing him with copious amounts of chocolate is working right now, but I’m going to have to ﬁnd a new trick. WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE FUTURE? We would like to expand the business further and open up a Love-2-swim Training Centre which is in the pipeline for this year. WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO WOULD-BE ENTREPRENEURS? Don’t be afraid to take the leap of going out on your own as it is not that scary once you do it. Just make sure you have a good family support network in place as working long hours is tough on everyone. Keep your sense of humour at all times even when things don’t go according to plan! Enjoy being your own boss and most importantly treat others the way you would like to be treated. Word of Mouth is vital to a successful business, especially on a small Island.
Marital Status Born Nicky Holgate-Smith Married 6 December 1975 Liverpool John Moores University, studied Sports & Exercise Science Lifeguard Peugeot 206 convertible Restless by William Boyd I’m a Rock Chick so anything from Guns & Roses/ Bon Jovi; I’m still stuck in the 90’s! Deﬁance Kindle, I can’t live without it! Christmas in Tenerife with my Mum and my Husband Netball, rollerblading and of course swimming John Richards Married 18 December 1965 Hurn Court School Christchurch Dorset
Education
First job Car Book
Gardener Bentley (I wish!!) Ian Thorpe Autobiography
Music
Meatloaf
Film Gadget Last holiday
A Bridge Too Far The X-Box my daughter brought me for my birthday! England
Enjoys
Walking
ABOUT THE BUSINESS Love-2-swim was originally set up by Nicky at the Mayfair Hotel Health Club, o ering bespoke one on one swimming lessons for children and adults; many of who were fearful of water and had found that group classes did not work for them. As the client base has grown and the children have progressed it was an ideal time to ﬁnd another venue to expand the business and bring on board her best friend John. They now o er swimming lessons at Cheshire Homes for children who are non-swimmers and beginners only; o ering a smaller class environment enables each child to have more contact time to help enhance their swimming ability and help them to make quicker progress. The company are also big supporters of the Jersey Dyslexic Association which is a charity close to both their hearts. JERSEY’S STYLE MAGAZINE
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BUSINESS
InterGlobal launches Private Medical Insurance Plan designed exclusively for the Channel Islands
Channel Islands UltraCare o ers high levels of protection for travel to receive medical treatment plus full cover for GP visits and treatment. International private medical insurer InterGlobal has launched a dedicated Channel Islands Private Medical Insurance Plan (PMI) designed exclusively for Channel Islands residents and businesses. The plan includes an extensive range of medical beneﬁts, complemented by a number of optional plans which can be added to meet members’ requirements. It also o ers members inclusive cover for private medical treatment received throughout Europe at an unlimited selection of hospitals or clinics. Channel Islands UltraCare covers all the costs of emergency evacuation to another Channel Island, the UK or France when adequate treatment cannot be provided locally. It also includes up to £1,500 cover for travel to receive non-emergency treatment on another Channel Island. This evacuation and travel beneﬁt is believed to be one of the most generous and ﬂexible in the current market.
LOVE YOUR JOB:
Confessions of a
workaholic!
WORDS : MARIE-CLARA THAUREUX – RECRUITMENT DIRECTOR AT LAYTONANDREWS
In todays’ society where work/life balance is the constant ﬂavour of the month this kind of thinking can be frowned upon. Don’t get me wrong, I spend an extraordinary amount of time with my family and love every minute; my 9 year old has perfected the art of hole punching – an indisputably needed life skill! But the reason my brain is a constant whirlwind of work-related activity, well, that’s simple: I love my job. For many, the nine-to-ﬁve has become little more than a necessary evil, undertaken through a work to live philosophy. In the currently less than perfect economic climate can anyone really be blamed for the ‘any job will do’ mentality? Have we lost our way? Spending on average a whopping 1/3 of your life working it makes sense to get a fair amount of enjoyment out of your career. So how do you ensure that each morning you jump from your bed with a frenzied desire to get to work. At LaytonAndrews we take pride in, in fact we love, hearing about you, we want to know what drives you, what gives you a buzz and what shapes your ambitions for the future. I’m a workaholic and proud of it! I love that there are so many interesting people to meet, I love the di erence LaytonAndrews can make, but ﬁrst and foremost I love the daily challenge of reproducing what I feel for my career for my candidates in theirs. If a new career is on your agenda for 2013 engage a consultant that understands your market and more importantly understands you. To coin a great quote from Confucius ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life’.
BIG IN LINGERIE!
The team at Adorne were delighted when they received a letter in the post telling them they had been nominated for the Stars Best Independent Lingerie Shop Award, and not only that, but they had made it to the ﬁnals; so were invited to a glamorous champagne reception at The Cumberland Hotel in London. On the night it was announced that out of the 470 entrants they were overall winners! Penny Clarke, Owner of Adorne, commented “We were so surprised that we won, we weren’t expecting it as there were so many other strong entrants from all over the UK. It is such a great testament to how fantastic our sta , Chris and Emily, are.”
OGIER ADVISES GOLDMAN SACHS AND JONES LANG LASALLE ON TWO MULTIMILLION POUND PROPERTY TRANSACTIONS
Ogier in Jersey acted for Goldman Sachs as arranger and lender in connection with the £15,000,000 reﬁnancing of a facility made available to Barchester Healthcare Homes Limited, the UK care homes provider. The Barchester property portfolio includes a number of properties located in Jersey, including the Lakeside residential care home in St Peter. The property team in Ogier’s Jersey o ce has also acted for Jones Lang LaSalle as receivers in connection with the enforcement over and sale of units in the Procession House Unit Trust, a Jersey property unit trust (administered by Ogier Real Estate) and its asset, a long-term leasehold in Procession House, Ludgate Hill in the City of London. The consideration for the sale to a UK based property company was in the region of US$100,000,000. Speaking about the two transactions, Chris Byrne, lead partner, commented: “we are delighted to have advised on these signiﬁcant transactions. These form part of a growing number of complex cross service line transactions that the team has been involved in. The Goldman Sachs reﬁnancing in particular required complex, cross service line capabilities.
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lessismoreislessismore
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join at www.savourjersey.com
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ADVERTORIAL
Modern o ce space with suspended ceilings and raised ﬂoors, natural light and relaxing and spacious communal facilitites and surrounds
tartups sometimes end up in back alleys, up ten ﬂights of stairs or in the back of a nameless, faceless o ce building. We often wondered why, as we huddled around our heaters in Gallery HQ no.1, no-one had started a better option for serviced o ces. It took a few years but then, three years ago, Spencer Bourne’s Wharf Street gave small businesses an alternative. With ﬂexible monthly leases available and clean, newly developed o ce space it gave a professional edge to a sector that had been under-represented.
The 4 Wharf Street development created 40 o ces for small businesses wih smart surroundings, meeting areas and a positive, buzzing working environment. It’s great to see the people that use it as a base interacting and growing their businesses without a sense of shame at having to have a meeting in a shody back room or in the cafe at De Gruchy. Other serviced o ces have been opened since but Wharf Street remains at 100% occupancy and, as its tennants begin to see business growth, more space is required. Now Spencer has put his name where his mouth is with the new Bourne House o ce suite development, a sister development at Don Road and also a new development at 5/6 Esplanade.
S
We have natural light, air conditioning and a kitchen area for o ce suites large and small in a variety of shapes and sizes with o ces starting from just £350 a month for people that sign up in February
The Don Road site is a ﬂoor formerly occupied by Mourant above CDP Sigma. The ﬂoor is being completely redeveloped to o er brand new modern o ces, most with windows to view the world and car parking near by at Green Street. Rents start from under £400 a month. The location o ers an alternative to Wharf Street and Spencer points out that some clients are keen on the alterantive location 23 o ces will be created, most with windows and natural light and all with air con, toilets and kitchen areas. Some of the bigger o ces are also available with car parking within the building. The Esplanade building is already half rented with clients having seen the plans and nabbed some o ces already. With both new buildings, it takes the total number of businesses able to rent from 40 to 75. That’s 75 new small businesses able to ﬁnd a new, clean, decent o ce at a good rent. That’s got to be a good thing.
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BOURNE HOUSE: THE FACTS
Located at Don Road, St Helier close to Green Street Car Park 23 Newly ﬁtted o ce suites, 20 of which beneﬁt from natural light Sizes between 12 square metres and 60 square metres available 3 o ce suites available with parking spaces New ﬁtout including raised ﬂoors & suspended ceilings Communal kitchen and meeting facilities Free Internet across the building
FLEXIBLE LEASES FROM £350 PCM*
* usually £400 PCM. Discount applies to leases taken in February
INTERESTED?
Contact Palladium group on 01534 888554 or email enquiries@palladiumgroup.co.uk
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MOVERS AND SHAKERS
movers&shakers
‘DREAM JOB’ FOR NEW FINANCIAL CONTROLLER AT JERSEY DAIRY NEW DIGITAL MARKETING DIRECTOR APPOINTED AT IMAGE GROUP
Chartered Marketer, Christopher Journeaux has joined Image Group as Director of Communications and Digital Strategy. Christopher, who has worked in the marketing industry for 16 years, joins the pan-Channel Island marketing and communications agency at a time when companies are looking towards digital marketing as the way forward. After completing his Masters Degree at Exeter University, Christopher joined Jersey Heritage where he worked in marketing for ten years. Christopher continued his career path by moving to Jersey Dairy where he took on the role of Head of Marketing and Sales. During his time at the Dairy, he was instrumental in developing the company’s export market, forging links around the world, including markets in the UK and Japan. “Christopher’s experience in both traditional and digital marketing ﬁts perfectly with Image Group’s strategic focus”, says Andrew Lewis, Managing Director of Image Group. “There has been an important shift in our sector towards digital marketing and Christopher’s knowledge and expertise means that he is well equipped to deliver for our clients in this core area”. Christopher, who lives in St Helier with his wife Louise, is looking forward to the challenge of leading the combined marketing and PR teams at Image. “I am looking forward to working with a variety of clients” he commented. “Image Group is one of the most well established marketing agencies in the Channel Islands and the team has a vast amount of expertise that brings real beneﬁts to our clients. Marketing has changed hugely over the last few years with a strong knowledge of the digital element now crucial to many clients. I am looking forward to ensuring that Image continues to meet the demands of its clients in an ever changing environment.”
A NEW Financial Controller with a strong background in commercial and manufacturing ﬁnance has been appointed at Jersey Dairy. Kirsty McGregor (33) will play a key role in assessing new business propositions as the Dairy expands production at its Trinity-based processing plant to supply dairy products to the UK and other export markets. ‘It’s a particularly interesting time to be with the company,’ said Kirsty. ‘They have settled into their new processing plant and are pushing forward, exploring new export markets and developing exciting new products. A civil engineering Masters graduate opting to pursue an interest in numeracy, she began her career in management accounting with Tata Steel (formerly British Steel) in Scunthorpe, where she qualiﬁed as an Associate Chartered Management Accountant. She has also held positions at Magnet Kitchens and with Danish-owned tugboat operator Svitzer in Middlesbrough, gaining a valuable overview of the manufacturing and service industries.
INVESTEC COMPLIANCE OFFICER GAINS DISTINCTION FOR ANTI MONEY LAUNDERING DIPLOMA
INVESTEC Specialist Bank compliance o cer, Theresa Coombs, has gained a distinction for the International Compliance Association diploma in anti money laundering.
The nine-month course is designed to help individuals develop best practice initiatives and prepare them for present and future challenges in the area of compliance, therefore reducing overall business risk. Ms Coombs joined Investec Specialist Bank in Jersey in September 2010 and after completing the international diploma in compliance in January 2011 with merit, chose to do the anti money laundering diploma. ‘Her willingness and enthusiasm to increase her knowledge has continued to engender a compliance culture within the branch through the implementation of e ective training programmes,’ said Mr Allen, head of Investec Bank in Jersey. The anti money laundering diploma requires students to complete two assignments and a three-hour exam.
half full
2013. We’re feeling
Optimistic.
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Promoted and managing well...
One person. Five costumes. One timeless shot.
Same shot, di erent displays.
GROWTH AND PROMOTION AT KPMG IN THE CHANNEL ISLANDS
KPMG Channel Islands’ Jersey o ce continues to invest in its sta , with several recent promotions, exam successes and the recruitment of six new trainees. Seven promotions have been made across KPMG’s specialist areas with the appointment of Kerry Emblem as tax senior manager, Ben Hewitt as tax manager, Matthew Christensen as advisory manager, Caroline Johnstone, Dino Vicente and Hugh Williams each as audit manager and Shaun Farley as audit associate manager. Seven students have also progressed to assistant manager and senior tax consultant levels following the successful completion of their ACA qualiﬁcations through the ICAEW (Institute of Chartered Accountants in England and Wales). The ﬁrm has also taken on six new recruits, within its audit and tax departments. Christopher Van Neste joins the ﬁrm after completing his A-levels while Edward Muhlemann, Emily Curtis, James Murray, Nika Nykyforova and Harry Malet De Carteret each join the ﬁrm after graduating from University.
CHANNEL ISLANDS’ COMMUNICATIONS CONSULTANCY SHORTLISTED FOR FIVE NATIONAL AWARDS
CHANNEL Islands’ communications consultancy, Liquid, has been shortlisted six times in ﬁve categories for the national Golden Hedgehog PR Awards. It is the only ﬁrm from the islands to have made the shortlist, of which Gallery can’t conﬁrm the number of applicants. Liquid is one of eight businesses in the frame for Small Agency of the Year and PR director Lisa Gutcher is one of seven young professionals under consideration in the outstanding young professional category for PR agency consultants. Four of Liquid’s communications campaigns have also been shortlisted against others from London, the south of England, Wales and the Midlands. The multiple award-winning Love Sweet Potatoes campaign, created for UK-based Scott Farms International by teams in Guernsey, Jersey and Birmingham has been shortlisted for business to business campaign of the year.
BEDELL CRISTIN STRENGTHENS ITS BANKING AND CORPORATE TEAM AND MOVES INTO TOP TIER IN CHAMBERS AND PARTNERS
BEDELL Cristin has further strengthened its banking and corporate group through a series of recent appointments of lawyers and "ascends to the top tier for corporate and ﬁnance matters after receiving outstanding feedback from the market." (Chambers and Partners 2013) Stephen Ferguson, an experienced corporate and funds lawyer, has joined the Jersey o ce. He has seven years’ experience in corporate and funds work in Jersey and has particular experience in corporate real estate. Amy Fairfoull, an experienced corporate lawyer, has joined the Jersey o ce from Eversheds LLP. She has six years' experience in a wide range of banking, corporate ﬁnance and commercial transactions. Two further hires in the Jersey o ce are qualiﬁed solicitors Chloe Vaughan and Louise Hassell. Chloe trained with a large regional ﬁrm in the UK and prior to that worked in ﬁnance with PwC. Louise trained at another top tier ﬁrm in Jersey and has a range of experience in banking, corporate and commercial transactions.
LEADING THE WAY
HANSON Renouf is delighted to announce the inclusion of two Partners in the CityWealth Leaders List 2013. Advocate Barbara Corbett, Partner and Head of Family Law at Hanson Renouf, is listed as a ‘Leading Lawyer’. Advocate
Corbett is the only Family Lawyer from the Channel Islands to be included in the List. Advocate Timothy Hanson, Partner at Hanson Renouf, is included as a ‘Leading Lawyer’ with regards to Contentious Trusts. Advocate Hanson’s inclusion in the List is testament to his already well established reputation as a leading litigator in Jersey.
At Optimus we pride ourselves on a positive outlook and, when it comes to helping you and your career, we’d like to share that approach. We are have extensive professional experience within our key sectors and would be
Talk to us on 832660 or visit www.optimus.je
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PRIME POSITIONS
primepositions
Gallery brings you the pick of the job market from Jersey’s leading agencies.
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Have with you rec e relat a 2:2 or a ntly grad e talk t d degre bove in a uated e wouldo outstan ? We’re busines with be inte ding Gra keen to s r an in duat ested es de in Com pany pendent training who Fidu . Wh c at ca n you iary o ff e r ?
(with and a minim u w Trus ould like m 2:1 de t or F unds a career gree) in envir onm a oppo ent, rtunit ies.
Our client who has one of the best graduate trainee schemes in the Island is looking to recruit for their 2013 intake. Applicants must have 5 years residency, be willing to study towards either the ACCA or ICSA qualiﬁcation and have / obtain a minimum of 300 UCAS points. If you are seeking to pursue a stimulating career in ﬁnancial services and are in your ﬁnal year of studying towards a business related degree.
Graduate Trainee Scheme - ACCA & ICSA
We’re paving the way with an innovative and service driven approach to recruitment solutions and we’re on the lookout for a like-minded individual. If you think you have what it takes to give it your all in a dedicated team, where attitude is everything, what are you waiting for?
Recruitment Consultant
Our client is seeking a Company Secretarial Administrator to work as part of a team on a range of matters, providing company secretarial services for established and new funds, and corporate entities. If you have previous co sec experience and are ICSA qualiﬁed.
Company Secretarial Administrator
Can you design, install, administer and optimise Global servers, participate in planning and implementation of policies whilst managing IT infrastructure and operations? If your highly technical and get a buzz out of Server architecture this Global Company o ers a fantastic opportunity.
Senior Server Engineer
New opportunity for a qualiﬁed accountant (CIMA/ACCA / ACA) with a strong academic background and a good understanding of IFRS and UK GAAP. The successful candidate will be responsible for undertaking accounting and reporting services to a range of entities as well as assisting in the year end audit and statutory reporting cycle.
Financial Accountant
We currently have various opportunities within Trust and Funds for dynamic and enthusiastic part and/or fully ICSA / STEP qualiﬁed applicants. Previous Trust or Funds experience is essential.
Trust and Funds Vacancies
Qualiﬁed Accountant required with at least 2 years PQE. Practical experience working in a Fund Administration environment preparing audited ﬁnancial statements for Private Equity and/or Hedge Funds under both IFRS and UK GAAP is a must.
Fund Accountant
Our client, a growing Trust company, is looking for individuals with 2 years or more relevant experience, preferable in employee beneﬁt solutions / trust administration, hold or working towards a Table 5 qualiﬁcation with a good understanding of company and trust law, due diligence procedures and the regulatory environment and an understanding of book-keeping and accounts
EBT Client O cer
A vacancy has become available for a Senior Trust Administrator with one of our most respected clients. This privately owned trust company requires a senior administrator to carry out day to day administration on a portfolio of trusts and companies. The ideal applicant must be able to hit the ground running and hold or be studying towards a relevant professional qualiﬁcation.
Senior Trust Administrator – Private Clients
Trust O cer sought to provide administrative support to both the Funds Administration team and an allocated portfolio of Structures. A minimum of two years relevant corporate administration experience is preferred and you will hold or be studying for a relevant professional qualiﬁcation.
Trust Officer
Urgent need for ambitious administrators with private client experience to join a dynamic, thriving Trust company. The desired applicants will have 5 years experience and will have completed or be studying towards a professional qualiﬁcation.
Senior Administrator – Private Wealth
Large, global Trust & Funds company requires someone who is currently working towards their ACCA/ ACA qualiﬁcation and has previous experience within the ﬁnancial services industry to undertake a portfolio of accounts preparation / bespoke reporting work.
Associate Accountant
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Select Recruitment 2nd Floor, York Chambers, York Street, St Helier, JE2 3RQ info@selectrecruitment.je www.selectrecruitment.je
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Layton Andrews Search and selection consultants Contact us on letstalk@laytonandrews.com www.laytonandrews.com
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St Helier, JE2 3RU info@optimus.je
www.optimus.je
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BOYD MUNROE WELTERWEIGHT Age: 26 Number of bouts: 32 contests Started boxing: South Hill in 2000
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LEONIS GET READY TO ROAR.
G
allery recently became fundraising and marketing partners with Jersey Leonis Amateur Boxing Club, who take on Bristol Select on the 9th February at the Radisson Hotel, with Shane Goggin, James Walton, Ryan Hodgson and Ben Cairney amongst a strong bill of ﬁghters that will be looking to help Leonis to a strong start to 2013. We caught up with welterweight Boyd Munroe, one of the club’s longest-serving ﬁghters, to ﬁnd out more about the sweet science.
Who are the best boxers you’ve seen come through the club, and who’s looking good there at the moment? It would be hard to mention just one boxer over the years as there has been so many skilful boxers! But everyone training for this up and coming show February 9th is looking great and there is a few youngsters having there ﬁrst contest so I wish them luck. Which boxers have provided your greatest inspiration? My 3 favourite boxers of all time have to be Muhammad Ali, sugar ray Leonard, ﬂoyd mayweather. But I could list a lot more. What advice would you give to someone who wants to take up boxing? I would say come to up to south hill gym, it's a great sport and jersey Leonis is such a friendly place to learn. With a great team of boxers and trainers! Cheers Chris feel free to alter any of my poor English!
LEONIS ABC TAKE ON BRISTOL SELECT AT THE RADISSON ON SATURDAY 9TH FEBRUARY. TICKETS ARE £25 BUT NOW SOLD OUT, ALTHOUGH THERE IS A WAITING LIST FOR RETURNS, AND A SHOW IS PLANNED FOR APRIL 13TH. Leonis train at South Hill Gym every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday and are open to beginners and seasoned boxers alike. Prices are £5 per session or £35 per month for adults, and £3 per sessions or £25 per month for students. For more information contact info@jerseyleonis.com.
How did you ﬁrst get into boxing? I ﬁrst got into boxing when some friends started at South Hill Gym and told me about how good the training was, and I was a skinny kid so I wanted to learn how to look after myself, and boxing gave me conﬁdence. What does a typical training session consist of? First we start with a steady warm up running around the gym with some exercises, then some shadow boxing, which involves working on your technique, then moving onto bag work. And usually we will do six rounds [three minutes each with one minute rest inbetween] of sparring, and then a ﬁtness circuit to ﬁnish o . What’s been your most memorable bout so far? My most memorable contest would be boxing in front of an all time great in Sugar Ray Leonard at the Hotel de France, and to top it o he presented me with the boxer of the evening trophy! You’ve been at Leonis for some time now – what have you seen change over the years? And has the club changed with the likes of coaches Miguel, Tony and Gerry in charge now that Dave Thompson’s sadly no longer with us? Firstly, Dave was a truly inspirational man, a great coach and he would really know how to bring the best out of me! Miguel, Gerry and head coach Tony are doing a great job now. They always worked well with Dave and they also learned a lot from him. You left boxing to concentrate on football for a while – how do the two sports compare in terms of the regime and in terms of the actual competition, and what was it that drew you back to boxing? Boxing for me is the best complete body training and you have to be so dedicated; we train for weeks on a strict diet. I never had the same passion for football as I do for boxing! Boxing certainly polarizes opinion and most people involved are used to hearing people that say it’s a barbaric sport which has no place in modern society – I’m sure you get the same thing from time to time. What’s your response to people that are set against boxing? Yes, I suppose I usually get this from older women that possibly have never tried the sport. Boxing is a very skillful sport and takes many years to get to a high standard, and for me, as a teenager it gave me both self-conﬁdence and something to focus on! It's a very safe sport these days and I don't see it as barbaric. If more youngsters took part I'm sure there would less on trouble on the streets!
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TIME TO TRAIN (AND THEN RELAX)
Chateau Vermont Gym and Spa is an exclusive, boutique facility launching early March within easy reach of Jersey’s major schools and CentralEastern parishes.
After parking in the large free on site car park you make your way through the beautiful Chateau grounds to their open plan reception area where you will ﬁnd welcoming sta , a spacious lounge area dressed by local artists; and as a member you can relax here and enjoy the complimentary tea, co ee and Wi-Fi.
I LIKE TO RIDE MY (TINY) BICYCLE
The rain, almost, held o for the ﬁnal race of the JCAYA Autumn Mountain Bike Series. Conditions were treacherous in some areas and parts of the course looked more like a mud bath than a bike course. Several riders came a cropper, many times, slipping in the mud, but all did well to re-mount and carry on.
The under 6 age group raced ﬁrst. Olivia Messervey-Gross and Oliver Hamon got o to a great start with Monty Cudlipp close behind. The two boys soon pulled away and pushed each other the whole way with Oliver holding on to 1st position, Monty in 2nd and Luke Holmes in 3rd. Maya Berner took the lead for the girls at the end of the ﬁrst lap to take her ﬁrst win of the series. Olivia Messervey-Gross held on to 2nd place with Emily Le Gros in 3rd. Dylan Evans maintained his 100% winning record to secure the overall series win. He did however have competition in the form of Charlie Hart who impressed everyone with his incredible performance to take 2nd place. Owen Graham, Taylor Harrison and Freddie Pollard all battled it out for 3rd place with Owen holding o the others to take the podium place. Katie Le Rougetel was in ﬁne form again to take the girls win and the overall series title with a very muddy Katie Le Gros in 2nd and Lilly Scott in 3rd. In the under 10’s age group Brittany Stead had an impressive ride to take her second win of the series with Aimee Lutz putting on the pressure behind taking 2nd. Aimee Hugh rode well ﬁnishing in 3rd place, still managing a big smile despite being covered in mud. The boys race saw MaloMonpetit-Le Brun 1st, Cole Graham 2nd and Will Masterman 3rd. The ﬁnal race of the day saw the under 12’s and under 14’s combined. Michael McGinley, Jack Lutz and Luc Monpetit-Le Brun got away quickly. By the end of the ﬁrst lap Jack had taken the lead. Tom Le Rougetel, Elliott Stead and Tom Pollard were all battling it out for 4th position with Elliott coming through on the last lap by a bike length. Indi Malzard knew that she had to win today to take the series title and didn’t disappoint. She rode hard from start to ﬁnish to take pole position with Adele Maher 2nd. Evie Le Breton put in another consistently good performance to complete her series in 3rd position. The race was followed by the AGM and prizegiving where trophies and medals were presented by Kevin Gilley of The Moore Group. Ryan O’Shea picked up trophies for the JCA 5, 10 & 25 mile time trials, hill climb and the Tuesday evening TT series; Ben Le Brocq for the JCA road race and Oliver Lowthorpe for the Evening Circuit Series. The Patricia Hamon Trophy for Best Overseas Performance was awarded to Oliver Lowthorpe for his outstanding performances in UK races. TheJCAYA would like to thank the Moore Group and the land-owners without whom these events would not be possible.
Membership includes access to a naturally lit, indoor heated swimming pool where Aqua Aerobics and Aqua Zumba will be held. There is also a counter swim unit, waterfall and state of the art underwater training machines which are unique to Jersey. The pool and surrounding area will also be set up for ultimate relaxation; featuring a sauna, jacuzzi, steam room, heated ‘love seat’ and a ‘chill out’ room.
This is a gym, which is what Chateau Vermont might look like when it’s ready
The French doors surrounding the swimming pool can be opened onto the beautiful gardens allowing you to relax in the sun on your own private lounging area. Not only is the outside area perfect for socialising, it will also be used for pilates and yoga class overlooking the Chateau’s tranquil grounds. Contrasting to this they also have a separate area dedicated to the latest TRX and freestyle training equipment for those of you who are serious about strength training. Moving back indoors, you will ﬁnd a well equipped gym with brand new, fully commercial weight machines and an extensive range of free weights to complement their cardio room and modern studio which o ers a comprehensive range of classes. For those needing that little something extra, their on site ‘Lifestyle Team’ can arrange for Personal Training, Nutrition Consultancy and Beauty Therapies. Members and non-members can enjoy their three relaxing Spa treatment rooms, which are well equipped and o er a wide range of therapies where you will be spoiled.
MEMBERSHIP NUMBERS FOR CHATEAU VERMONT GYM AND SPA WILL BE STRICTLY LIMITED, FOR MORE INFORMATION AND TO DOWNLOAD A MEMBERSHIP ENQUIRY FORM, VISIT THEIR FACEBOOK PAGE; ‘CHATEAU VERMONT GYM’ WHERE YOU CAN ALSO FOLLOW THEIR PROGRESS LEADING TO THE GRAND OPENING.
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RUGBY ROUND UP
MATCH REPORT
HARLEQUINS LADIES VS BANKS LADIES
T
he less well known Islands ladies rugby contingent, Jersey United Banks Ladies, returned to National Challenge 1 SE S league action, earlier last month.
a catch and drive from the front. The half time score was 41-0 but Banks weren’t ﬁnished there. The second half began with Harlequins showing great determination and Banks were held at bay until Corbett again broke through the Harlequins defence to score. Quick hands led to a try for Laura Poingdestre (who converted 3 of the tries), followed by Corbett running in her fourth try of the match. Substitute Julia Williams took the ball over to score following a strong run just minutes after entering the ﬁeld of play for the injured Corbett. The Banks Ladies played with great passing freedom and were given an excellent base from set plays with the forwards dominating in the scrums, winning several against the head, and line out. Despite a strongly fought game that saw Quins valiantly ﬁght through until the ﬁnal whistle, few handling errors from Banks left the ﬁnal score at 61-0 to the home side, who will now want to carry this form into the second half of the league season and continue to improve. Their next home ﬁxture is on February 3rd. Jersey United Banks Ladies are kindly supported by the One Foundation.
JERSEY’S STYLE MAGAZINE
Whilst most people were sitting back and contemplating their newly made resolutions the Banks ladies team were consolidating sixth position in their eight team table, with a resounding victory over visiting side Harlequins Ladies. The match was played up at ‘Fortress’ Grainville, some consider it hallowed ground, in muddy but otherwise favourable conditions. Being the ﬁrst rugby ﬁxture of 2013 meant they played to a strong supporting crowd, this coupled with the ladies increasing proﬁle in the Island and the JRFC Men’s team playing an away ﬁxture...
The Banks Ladies played with great passing freedom and were given an excellent base from set plays with the forwards dominating in the scrums, winning several against the head, and line out.
Banks Ladies started the game smartly, putting Harlequins under pressure from kick-o . Following a well worked line out the ball passed through the backs for Rosie Corbett to show good footwork to score the ﬁrst try of the game. Banks then continued to pressure the Harlequins and following excellent passing play tries quickly followed for Rena Nelson, Krystle Matthews, Ann Brien, Roxanne Rice and Corbett again. A lineout on the 5 metre line was utilised excellently for Beth Rosser to score with
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HARDWARE
HARDWARE
FIRING ON ALL CYLINDERS
RUSS ATKINSON
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JERSEY’S STYLE MAGAZINE
HARDWARE
FOLLOWING AN ELECTRICAL FIRE THAT DESTROYED THEIR WORKSHOP AREA AND REFUSED TO RELENT BEFORE SMOKE DAMAGING PART OF THE SHOWROOM AREA LAST YEAR, JERSEY HYUNDAI AT CHEAPSIDE EMBRACED THE HYUNDAI BRAND’S ETHOS OF ‘NEW THINKING, NEW POSSIBILITIES’ AND IT’S THANKS TO THIS POSITIVE OUTLOOK AND A LITTLE HELP FROM THEIR FRIENDS (LC PALLOT IN PARTICULAR, WHO PROVIDED THEM WITH WORKSHOP SPACE IN WHICH TO CONTINUE PROVIDING CUSTOMERS WITH THE HIGH LEVEL OF SERVICE THEY’VE BECOME ACCUSTOMED TO OVER THE YEARS WHILST THE REPAIR WORK WAS CARRIED OUT) THEY’VE MANAGED TO BOUNCE BACK FROM THE DISASTER AS IF IT WERE BUT A MINOR SETBACK. In the workshop, the layout inherited from the previous occupiers has been improved no end, with brand new equipment fitted all round in a properly thought out manner that now allows all four ramps to be accessed both concurrently and with ease. It’s this line of thought that has brought greater efficiency to the operation – something that is ultimately passed on to the customer. On the subject of ‘new thinking’, more good news recently arrived at Jersey Hyundai when apprentice Luke Brocq-Morris was awarded the accolade of apprentice of the year from Highlands College. There’s also a strong focus on recycling hidden away behind the workshop doors with all manner of things ﬁnding a new purpose in di erent ways. Car batteries and catalytic converters are all recycled as you might expect, but there are some rather interesting and unexpected recycling practices taking place here too. For example, used engine oil is used to heat the workshop and they’ve even invested in equipment that removes, cleans and restores air conditioning gas before topping the system up to ensure your air conditioning is icy cold right when you need it. This has the e ect of not only making the system more e cient, but also reduces the amount of refrigerant released into the Earth’s atmosphere and the amount required to top the system up, in turn saving not only the environment but your money too - there are those new possibilities mentioned earlier. Incidentally, the dehumidiﬁed air blast produced by air conditioning is great for clearing foggy windscreens during winter as well as for chilling your skin during the summer months, so don’t be afraid to press that AC button just because the summer hasn’t quite arrived yet. Other clever technology that has been rolled out during the reﬁt includes a headlight alignment machine, perfect for remedying squi y head and quelling those angry ﬂashes from other road users during the drive home after work at this time of year. If you work in town, there’s the added convenience of being able to drop your car o on your way past Cheapside during the morning commute and collecting it on your way home. All vehicles serviced are treated to a valet, so not only do you save money and time queuing using the car park but also get to take home a sparkling clean car. You’re not going to get that kind of service from a ‘Parking Control O cer’ as they’re slapping a ﬁxed penalty on your car now, are you?
There’s also the risk of avoidable damage to the car or potential safety issues surfacing if a professional hasn’t been given the opportunity to diagnose and rectify worn, damaged or incorrectly ﬁtted parts before they have a chance to fail. This isn’t scaremongering, more like independent food for thought – and when the pricing and workmanship is this good, why risk it? On the car sales side of the business, it’s worth noting that Hyundai are the 4th largest vehicle manufacturer globally with a market share in the UK that has risen around 20% in the past year with over 74,000 vehicles sold within the UK alone. That amount of people can’t be wrong – they even outsold Honda, the Japanese auto giant acclaimed for their incredible reliability. Word travels fast, and with an entirely new range having been introduced over the past few years it’s evident that
IF, LIKE ME, YOU SUFFER FROM TERRIBLE ALLERGIES TO CAR CLEANING, THEY CAN ALSO PROVIDE A HIGH QUALITY VALETING SERVICE AND ARE CURRENTLY RUNNING AN OFFER THAT’LL SEE YOUR PRIDE AND JOY BEING TREATED TO A VALET INCLUDING A HAND WAX AND POLISH FOR JUST £65 COMPARED TO THE USUAL PRICE OF £180.
people are getting onboard. If, like me, you su er from terrible allergies to car cleaning, Jersey Hyundai can also provide a high quality valeting service and are currently running an o er that’ll see your pride and joy being treated to a valet including a hand wax and polish for just £65 compared to the usual price of £180. They’re well versed in taking care of servicing and repairs on all makes and models with a basic service costing around £130 on average to include a valet, collection service should it be required and a free courtesy car by request you shouldn’t have to remortgage your house. Think of it like this; it might be tempting to skip a service but missing stamps in the service book can not only result in a manufacturer refusing to honour the vehicle warranty in some cases but can also harm the resale value when you decide it’s time for a change. Main dealer stamps are a bonus too, regardless of the manufacturer as having had a well known and reputable name take care of the vehicle comes as a relief when you’re thinking of purchasing a car, wouldn’t you agree? Forget three, because ﬁve is the magic number here; a 5 year fully comprehensive warranty that covers absolutely everything, 5 years of RAC breakdown cover and Hyundai’s 5 year Triple Care cover which includes free checks, free electronic system updates and repair of manufacturer defects on the incredibly small o chance that any surface as owners rack up the miles. If you have trouble sleeping at night, a warranty package like that deﬁnitely isn’t going to keep you up any later. You can currently treat yourself to a Hyundai i10 classic for just £6,495 as part of Hyundai’s ‘trade and upgrade’ scheme, saving you £1,515 over the usual price of £8,010. To qualify for the scheme, all you have to do is turn up with a vehicle to trade in. It can be any vehicle at all but must be roadworthy, and will see you both saving a healthy amount of your hard earned and driving away in a brand new car. Of course, if it transpires your choice of trade-in can’t be saved they’ll do their best to recycle it too.
TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE HYUNDAI RANGE, SERVICING OR VALETING DROP IN AT THE JERSEY HYUNDAI SHOWROOM AND WORKSHOP AT 16 CHEAPSIDE, CALL 745911 OR VISIT: WWW.PRESTIGECARSJERSEY.COM
BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS
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THREE’S A CROWD
(BUT I ONLY HAVE TWO GARAGES)
RUSS ATKINSON
C
lose your eyes and imagine an incredible stretch of road. You’re travelling along it at whatever pace suits your mood, behind the wheel of the one vehicle that you truly desire. It’s nothing short of lustful indulgence. My hands are gripped around a wooden rimmed wheel, my hair is being rapidly diminished by the escalating breeze, the deep howl of over seven litres of V8 resonates through my bones and I couldn’t lift my torso forward for the forces of physics even if I wanted to. There are probably leather driving gloves involved too, you know, just to look the part. The one car I know I’ve always wanted to own since childhood despite never having even met anyone in a position to enable me a vain attempt at convincing them that they should let me drive theirs? An AC Cobra, and I’d probably drive it around just like I was in the ﬁlm Twin Town, too. I used to think that any self-respecting motoring enthusiast had to posess a fantasy collection list of biblical proportions, but I’ve managed to whittle it down to three, and now you’ve made it this far I might as well bore you with details of the other two and exactly why they’re so special.
They say that everything’s big in America, and so god bless Carroll Shelby, a Texan chicken farmer with a desire for racing. Taking what has since become a widely imitated and instantly reocgnisable British design and shoehorning in a selection of Ford V8 engines from the admirably sized 289cu up to an incredibly impressive 427cu (that’s 7.2 litres this side of the Atlantic), the Shelby Cobra was famously demonstrated to prospective buyers with the use of a $100 bill tucked behind the windscreen. If the passenger could lean forward and take it as Mr Shelby demonstrated his Cobra’s absurd acceleration it was theirs to keep. Not only did he always win the bet, he won a hell of a lot of customers too. Those of you in the know will likely have noticed a theme running here, one that involves British marques sporting large capacity V8 engines imported from the US. Jensen’s Interceptor showcased British engineering along with Italian coachwork and American muscle and frankly, just looks fantastic. The long, sweeping bonnet, that ﬁshbowl rear windscreen, acres of slaughtered cow tastefully and comfortably engulﬁng the interior, and of course, the noise. Who needs more that 3 gears anyway?
The ﬁnal contender in my top three is even more of a mongrel than the occupier of the number two spot. A British design for a subsiduary of an American manufacturer who were bought by a French company, built in Scotland, reﬁned in England and became the underdog and unidsputed champion of world rallying at the start of the eighties in the hands of Henri Toivonen. It can only be the Talbot Sunbeam Lotus. I had one as a student at art college in the UK. Children pointed and people stopped to regale me with their tales of ownership or how one of their mates had one and it used to absolutely destroy their Escort RS2000, a once dominant force in rallying. One gent even went to far as to shout ‘sad f*ckers like me get hard-ons over cars like this’ as he walked by, and assuming that he meant it in a metaphorical sense, I too have become one of those people. Yet you never see one. Ever. Its recipe for success? Take a lightweight, rear wheel drive hatchback with a compact wheelbase and add the canted over twin cam engine from a Lotus Esprit. The result? Incredible fun, incredibly hard to keep in a straight line and with an even more incredible risk of losing your driving license.
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WHITE GADGETS
2013’S BEST GADGETS
G
uess what everyone, it’s 2013, which means a. we survived December’s scheduled apocalypse, and b. it’s the future. If the people making the predictions in the 20th Century were correct, we should now either have hover boards, time machines and laser guns at our disposal,
or be living in a nightmarish Orwellian dystopia. Well, they were half right. If it’s any consolation, living in ‘the future’ means that there are some rather nifty gadgets available. Here’s our pick of the best that 2013 has to o er.
GOOGLE GLASS
Why was Google co-founder Sergey Brin spotted recently riding the New York subway, when he could deﬁnitely a ord a taxi? Answer: to test out and show o Glass, the new invention from the Google X Lab. Ladies and gentlemen, ‘augmented reality’ is about to become a very real part of our lives. Essentially, it’s a computer built into a pair of glasses. By looking up and to the right, you can take photos, connect to the web, chat with friends and probably even play solitaire. If you get freaked out by people seemingly talking to themselves when they’re on Bluetooth, imagine how it’ll look when they’re watching a Youtube video of the world’s weirdest cats on their Google Glasses. GOOGLE GLASS IS EXPECTED THIS SUMMER, RETAILING AT £750 APPROX
XBOX 720 / PLAYSTATION 4
This year’s big gaming console battle will be fought out between the new upcoming machines from Microsoft and Playstation. With a rumoured eight core CPU measuring 1.6GHz, 8GB of RAM and an 800MHz graphics card (up from the current model’s 500), the new Xbox is certain to be getting gamers hot under the collar. Microsoft also recently ﬁled a patent for technology allowing augmented reality 3D images to be projected on to your walls, giving users a fully immersive experience. The Playstation will be hoping to trump the Xbox with even more power (1.83 terraﬂops to Microsoft’s 1.23, tech fans), a brand new controller featuring an LCD touchscreen and biometric sensors on the grips, and 4K resolution, meaning images will be crisper, clearer and sharper than ever before, and compatible with 4K televisions, another gadget set to storm the market this year. If HMV can make it through the year, these two new consoles are likely to have people queuing at their doors in their masses. XBOX 720 AND PLAYSTATION 4 ARE EXPECTED IN LATE 2013, PRICE TBA
MUSE HEADBAND
The Muse headband is proper futuristic. Pop it on your bonce and it measures your brainwaves in real-time, and sends those to your iOS or Android device, allowing you to see how well your brain is performing, giving you the ability to control application and games with your mind, as well as purportedly being able to help you improve your memory and concentration, and reduce stress. Using sensors to detect electrical outputs generated by your brain and algorithms to detect the changes in activity, Muse is able to show what your brain is doing, in the same way as a heart monitor does with your heart. It also comes with an ‘Integrated Brain Health System’ – a series of exercises designed to “help you build better brain health habits.’ But, how can we be sure they haven’t put a sneaky ‘exercise’ on their designed to give you Tourette’s or make you vote UKIP? MUSE IS AVAILABLE TO PRE-ORDER FROM WWW.INTERAXON.CA FOR $199
APEX HD SKI GOGGLES
Ever wanted to make your own version of Cli anger or The Spy Who Loved Me? Well, now you can with this nifty pair of ski goggles which feature a video camera positioned just above your eyes to give a true point-of-view moving image as you hoon it down the slopes. It boasts a 135-degree wide angle camera lens and a 12 Megapixel image; it’s pretty high end stu , and also features Wiﬁ so you can live stream in real time to a tablet or smartphone. It even has a 30-degree camera tilt, which can be dialled in remotely so you can adjust to get the best angle. You ski and ﬁlm, someone sits behind an iPad directing. Good or, indeed, what? APEX HD IS AVAILABLE FROM WWW.LIQUIDIMAGECO.COM AT $399.99
OCULUS RIFT
Demoed recently at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, the Oculus Rift has been getting gamers and tech bloggers in something of a tizz, and is expected to be one of the biggest-selling new gadgets on the market in 2013. A virtual reality headset and one of three items on this list that were paid for by crowd-funding, in this case via the crowd-funding site Kickstarter. After raising $2.4million to develop the hardware, the Rift is now on the market and o ers a 110 degree ﬁeld of vision, more than double that of any competing devices. Uniquely, it tracks the wearer’s head movements, allowing them to turn their head 360 degrees and creating a world to get completely lost in. For those who like long walks but hate leaving the house – problem solved. AVAILABLE TO PREORDER FOR £185 FROM WWW.OCULUSVR.COM
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YELLOW JACKET STUN GUN IPHONE CASE
This invention is not only probably illegal in the UK and Jersey, but also surely invented by a complete madman. However, about 1,000 people didn’t seem to think so and clubbed together to fund the product to the tune of $100,000 via the crowd-funding website Indiegogo. The Yellow Jacket is like a regular smartphone case, except it contains a 650V battery and a switch that allows you to turn your phone into a stun gun to fend o any would-be attackers. The design has a safeguard against the risk of accidentally ﬂipping the switch and electrocuting yourself, and has its own external battery which is able to add an extra 20 hours to your smartphone battery. Probably best to remember not to take it with you on a plane though. VISIT WWW.YELLOWJACKETCASE.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION
SPIRIT ONE HEADPHONES
APPLE iTV
Another product making a splash at the recent Consumer Electronics Show in the US is the Spirit One. They’re created by French company Focal, who up until now have specialized in high end speakers for home cinemas and recording studios, so they know a thing or two about sound quality. By all accounts they’ve carried that know-how over to the headphone market, with superb noise isolation, and are designed to be used with your smartphone, with a remote control on the cable and an in-built mic allowing you to make and take calls. SPIRIT ONE HEADPHONES ARE £180 FROM WWW.FOCAL.COM
Slated for release in October 2013 (although perhaps later in the UK while licensing deals with British TV channels are negotiated), the iTV sees Apple ﬁnally make its move into the television market. If it’s able to revolutionise the industry in the way that it has for telecommunications, this could be truly huge. Integrating Mac systems with your regular television features, an added bonus of owning one of these could be the ability to use your iPhone as a remote control, as well as voice and facial recognition capabilities. Which raises the question, when you say ‘iTV’ to it, will it turn to ITV or simply reply with, “Yes?” THE APPLE ITV IS EXPECTED LATER THIS YEAR.
MONSTER INSPIRATION OVER EAR HEADPHONES
“Noise cancelling” is a term that you can ﬁnd on nearly all over-ear headphones nowadays. However, it doesn’t take long before you realise that most companies lie. Monster are the exception to this rule. With active noise cancelling that doesn’t diminish the sound of your music, these headphones have interchangeable headbands so that you can personally style them to your taste. They are available in three colours, White, Titanium and Silver, so your headwear is truly adaptable to whatever style you want. The Control-Talk™ inline remote and microphone allow you to play, pause and fully control your music and phone calls easily and quickly. PRICE £220
GRIFFIN IPAD MINI SURVIVOR CASE
The iPad mini may have been a questionable release, asking just how much Apple can milk out of the tablet range, but one company’s odd choice is another company’s gain. That’s where Gri n Technology come in. After the success of their iPad survivor case (watch the videos of drop-tests on YouTube), they have decided to release a similar model for the newer iPad. It’s not just the inevitable drops that this case will protect from, it’s specially designed to prevent damage from dirt, sand, rain, shocks and just about anything nature can throw at it. The mini case has a clip-on stand that folds out for landscape viewing, and you can be sure that if Gri n can protect the iPad senior, it will have no problem with the younger model. PRICE £30.50
SENNHEISER ADIDAS PX 685I SPORTS
It’s February. For those of us still clinging onto the resolution wagon, the gym has become a second home. The treadmill is practically an extension of your body, and the other sweaty gym-goers are closer than family. However, we all know that family are nothing but a nuisance, so drown them out with these new exercise-inspired earphones. With soft grip, custom ﬁt and sweat and water-resistance, you can also avoid the infuriating moment when your earphones fall out and you have to fumble like a fool for the falling earpiece. These earpieces also allow natural sound in, to keep you aware of your surroundings when running. They also include a microphone and control on the cable, so changing from one inspirational song to the next is e ortless. PRICE £39.50
BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS
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PHONE HOME
PHONE HOME
OUR TOP FIVE GADGETS…
Zero1 is a new company and Jersey’s sole dealers of a new and revolutionary Home Automation solution by Savant Systems. An Apple-based system, Savant allows complete control of your property, home or away, from your iPad, iPhone or iPod Touch. It’s one of many ‘Smart Home’ products available from Zero1, who also deal in IP Security/Surveillance systems, IP Networking, Lighting and heating control and lots more. We chatted to Zero1’s co-directors and certiﬁed tech heads Paul and David about the gadgets, old and new, which have inspired them over the years.
1. COMMODORE 64
NOKIA ASHA 311
HANDSET ONLY £101 OR FREE ON YELLOW 18 MONTH PLAN (AVAILABLE IN BLACK) FROM JT
The smart Nokia Browser will see you accessing data services up to ﬁve times faster and whilst using up to 90% less data when compared with other smartphones which will save you both time AND money, be that via wi-ﬁ or 3G. Combined with a 1Ghz processor you won’t be waiting around for anything. A contemporary prerequisite for telephones it seems, all of your favourite communicative tools are right there at your ﬁnger tips, be that making calls, messaging or social network services - no excuses to miss that latest update or invite, but be careful you don’t develop clubbed thumbs from all of that tap-tap-tapping. The screen is manufactured out of Gorilla Glass, so no matter how clumsy you are it’s going to be pretty hard to destroy. Vital statistic wise, you’ll get 14 hours talk time using 2G services, 6 hours using 3G services, music playback to the tune of 40 hours and a maximum 3G standby time of a staggering 744 hours!
Paul: “My ﬁrst ever computer; without this there’s a good chance I wouldn’t be writing this. A cult classic now, and a big deal for home computing back in the day. It began my fascination for getting inside the box. I can still hear the tape squeal now!”
4. CASIO TV REMOTE CONTROL WATCH
David: “You had one or k new someone who did! Endless tomfoolery was had turning o the TV or muting the volume during riveting videos of brownian motion or the like during science lessons. In this day of modern technology you can’t surpass it for childish enjoyment.”
5. SONY MINIDISC PLAYER 2. NINTENDO GAMEBOY
Paul: “A computer game, in the palm of your hand! My ﬁrst “I’ve GOT to have one of those” moments. It kicked o mobile gaming along with Atari Lynx and Sega GameGear but will always be the public’s favourite.”
David: “No need for a pencil to reign in the tape, smaller than a CD and re-writable. It could have been so good but propriety wrangles and the emergence of (not to be named) digital music storage media put an end to this short-lived wonder of technology. Still in the cupboard, never to be resigned to the rubbish.”
3. IPHONE / IPAD
Paul: “Revolutionary in every way, changed the face of the mobile handset forever and even ﬁve years later the competition are STILL playing catch up. Truly iconic design in both hardware and software - good old Apple!”
ZERO1 LTD CAN BE FOUND AT THE SHOWROOM, UPSTAIRS AT BASE SOUND & VISION, 35 HILGROVE STREET, ST. HELIER. TEL: 888003
ANOTHER FIRST FROM JT
INTRODUCING THE CHANNEL ISLANDS BEST VALUE SMARTPHONE, THE NEW JT SMART!
Last year we saw the launch of more innovative products and services from JT, such as their Friends & Family service, which allows JT customers to add a FREE UK number to their SIM so that Friends & Family abroad can call you at their local rates, genius! Along with the JT Travel SIM which thanks to their global connections provides JT customers with access to some of the most competitive roaming rates in the Channel Islands. This year JT have taken it one step further by launching the Channel Islands ﬁrst, own brand smartphone, the NEW JT Smart. It’s got all the great features you’d expect from a Smartphone including an Android operating system, built-in Apps, camera, video recording, along with instant access to the Internet and all your favourite social media sites. What makes it stand out from the crowd is its Dual SIM capability, which means it can hold TWO SIM cards – perfect for if you’re at university in the UK, or when you’re travelling as you can have your JT SIM and either your UK, or JT Travel SIM operating in your JT Smart at the same time. That
means you’ll never have to worry about which one you’re using, or ﬁddle around and swap them over thanks to JT’s design innovation. What’s more think all this functionality and high tech beneﬁts makes it pricey – think again. Not only does it retail as the least expensive Smartphone on the market but what’s more JT are giving away not one, but TWO JT Smarts absolutely FREE. All you need to do is sign up to a great value £25.99 per month MyMobile plan during their great value Valentines promotion, and you’ll get two free phones and also UNLIMITED texts and data. Or pick up the JT Smart for only £79 on JT Pay as you go.
SO TO GET YOUR HANDS ON THE CHANNEL ISLANDS BEST VALUE SMARTPHONE, HURRY DOWN TO THE JT STORE TODAY.
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Gadget of the month
Beyond Computers
THE DYNAMIC DUO
WHY CHOOSE BETWEEN A SMARTPHONE OR TABLET WHEN YOU CAN HAVE BOTH?
Buy a Samsung Galaxy S3 Mini and Sure will give you a Samsung Galaxy Tab2 for free! Make sure you have the right technology at your ﬁngertips whether you are out and about or enjoying an evening at home and with this o er, you won’t be paying through the nose to do so! The Samsung Galaxy S3 Mini is, as the name suggests, a smaller version of the incredibly popular and global favourite, Samsung Galaxy S3. Operating on the Android 4.1 Jellybean system, the Mini comes packed with many of the same features as its big brother and although more petite, still has an impressive 4 inch screen, making it the same size as the iPhone 5. Although smaller, the Mini has the same design as the full size version and with its 1GHz dual core processor, it is very capable of running games and applications without delays or bu ering problems. The Samsung Galaxy S3 Mini comes with a 5 megapixel camera and a Super AMOLED display for superb colour reproduction, giving you the opportunity to really enjoy and then share your latest photos, music and videos.
Fill the empty space
SONOS PLAY:5 is the original, bigger room, all-in-one Sonos player that’s a powerhouse of sound. With ﬁve integrated speakers and ﬁve digital amps, PLAY:5 streams all the music on earth wirelessly in any room. Control with free apps for your Android™, iPhone® or iPad®. With ﬁve integrated speakers powered by ﬁve dedicated digital ampliﬁers (two tweeters, two mid range drivers and 1 subwoofer driver), it provides crystal-clear, roomﬁlling sound that rivals much larger, more complicated audio equipment. The all-digital sound architecture provides precise sound reproduction, just as the artist intended. All ﬁlter settings, active equalization and time-alignment are done in the digital domain so there’s no loss of audio quality or energy. You can add as many Sonos players as you want throughout your home. Wirelessly. Play di erent songs in every room or the same song everywhere, in perfect sync. Enjoy a universe of music everyday— your iTunes® library, your favorite music services, and more than 100,000 free Internet radio stations, shows and podcasts. Music service availability varies by region.
FROM MINI TO MASSIVE (AND IT’S FREE)!
In the world of mobile devices, massive means anything bigger than a smartphone handset. This is true of the Samsung Galaxy Tab2 but crucially this powerful tablet, comes in a size that’s easy to carry and use. The Tab2 is half the weight of the iPad and, with a 7inch screen, it is also signiﬁcantly smaller giving you a fantastic viewing experience whilst remaining easily portable. Running on Android 4.0, that’s the Ice-Cream Sandwich version of the operating system, the Tab2 gives you an incredible multimedia experience that is made even better with Samsung Hub which gives you access to thousands of music, video, books and game titles. Full HD video enhances your viewing experience and the playback quality of your own videos, which of course, you can record on either your Samsung Galaxy S3 Mini or the Tab2 because sharing between the two devices is so easy.
SONOS Play:5 £299.99 Available with 24 months interest free credit as an introductory o er
So, why settle for one when you can have two? Pop into the Sure store today to get your Mini and free Tab2 when you choose the £36/month Sure smartplan.
Jersey Electricity Powerhouse : 505460 Don Street : 510010
BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS
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NIGHTLIFE
ROSIE BARRETT
ROSIE BARRETT CERTAINLY EXPLODED ONTO THE JERSEY MUSIC SCENE, LANDING SOME COVETED SPOTS AT TOP GIGS AND EVENTS WITHIN A PRETTY SHORT TIME ON THE CIRCUIT.
There’s really no wonder though, as Rosie’s friends will tell you (she played to them without much hesitation or fear for years before playing her ﬁrst public gig at The Bridge only a year or so ago), Rosie’s style was lapped up by her ﬁrst Jersey audience and word quickly spread about this new fresh talent on the block. Within no time, she was playing Jersey Live and opening the ﬁrst ever Folklore Festival! If you’ve yet to hear Rosie (eherm, where the heck ‘ave you been?), then perhaps we can assume you’ve been in watching the dire straits of musicians on TV, like X-Factor... Likened to X Factor ﬁnalist, Lucy Spraggan - Rosie is a tad like that... But she started it. Rosie’s songs are beautifully simplistic, lyrically they’re super clever and her stage presence is unlike any other female performer over here... She’s recently taken to roving round Manchester where she’s been making some serious noise. Check her out, watch this space and have a read of this. people but at the same time I could just see a stranger and it could spark a mood in my mind for a song. Musically it’s a giant mixed bag of my old favourites like John Martyn, Sting, Joan Jett and more recently Robyn, Michael Jackson and Jessie Ware for sure. There are so many though! I listen to everything I can.
GALLERY INTRODUCING, SINGER/SONGWRITER:
IF YOU HAD TO PICK 3 ALBUMS TO LISTEN TO WHILST STUCK ON AN ISLAND, WHAT WOULD THEY BE?
TLC - Fanmail, John Martyn - May you never aaand can I cheat* and say my ipod? No my guitar! Then I could play forever! (*Yeah Rosie, you can cheat…)
YOU’RE IN MANCHESTER LATELY, HOW DOES IT COMPARE TO THE LOCAL SCENE? WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON JERSEY’S MUSIC SCENE?
Compared to the local scene there’s a lot more going on music wise, the events aren’t as slick as Jersey folk tend to run them but they’re exciting all the same! The Jersey scene feels to me like it could grow so much and lately it has been more and more, I think there’s a realistic chance that Jersey can become a cool and relevant place to come to see the best and biggest music as well as up and coming acts, it has so much potential.
WHO’S YOUR FAVOURITE JERSEY MUSICIAN?
It has to be Frankie Davies, she’s mesmerizing to watch and you can tell she writes from the heart, which is something I admire.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO ANYONE COMPARING YOU TO THE LIKES OF LUCY SPRAGGAN?
Aaah Spraggers... how can I put this? I think it’s nice people have someone to compare me to. A guitar and brown hair, yes we do have those in common... I can always dye my hair though.
WOULD YOU GO ON X FACTOR?
WHAT’S BEEN YOUR FAVOURITE GIG SO FAR?
WHERE DO YOUR SONGS COME FROM, ROSIE?
My songs come mostly from my own life experiences, situations around me, sometimes the clever things people say or sometimes the silly things I think. It helps to be a sponge!
Can I have two? Jersey Live was a special day for me, I was pretty overwhelmed with how many people came to support me! And it was a goal I’d set myself the year before. And The Foresters Arms just before Christmas, that place has so much charm, I was surrounded by good people and good music…
It’s not in my plans, obviously the networking and exposure is unmeasurable but I think I owe myself the opportunity to be taken as a credible musician ﬁrst. A few people said I’d be selling out by going on X Factor but to what?! I love pop, I write it, I buy it - To make money from something you love isn’t selling out, it’s clever. Never say never but not for now.
WHAT ARE YOUR HOPES FOR THE FUTURE?
WHEN & WHERE CAN JERSEY AUDIENCES SEE & HEAR YOU...?
WHO INFLUENCES/INSPIRES YOU - BOTH GENERALLY AND MUSICALLY?
Generally I’d say everyone, my closest
I’ve always set my goals pretty high, I’ll spare you the details but to have music written all over my life story would be a dream... It would be nice to buy a street for my friends and family too!
While I’m out here in Manchester you can check out my Facebook page YouTube me, I’ll be back to play within the next couple of months and it’ll be splattered all over social media, so keep up with me by liking my fan page, www.facebook.com/rosiebarrettmusic see you soon Gallery readers!
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NIGHTLIFE
HOTLIST
MUSIC & NIGHTLIFE: SIX OF THE BEST
ROCKSTEADY PRESENTS: TREVINO / MARCUS INTALEX
JANUARY’S OVER, AND IT CAN MEAN ONLY ONE THING: PARTY TIME. AGAIN.
TOP BUZZER/ LIZZARD CHANNEL LIVE
If you like your gigs shouty, sweaty and a little bit lively, then get yourself along to the Star for the live return of London-based band Top Buzzer. Kerrang suggest that ‘you might just love them’ and punk legend Marky Ramone has publicly endorsed them. They’ve toured the US alongside Goldﬁnger and generally made a rather good ﬁst of being a damn ﬁne pop punk band. With support from Jersey’s favourite trumpet-wielding ska-punk gang Lizzard Channel, the entry fee of ‘absolutely nowt’ seems incredibly good value for money in these times of austerity.
The Star, St Peter, Friday 8th February, 8 – 11pm Free Entry
The news that Pure is to close its doors after a decade of providing sanctuary to the island’s electroheads was, understandably, met with a very vocal outpouring of grief. However, the news that they’re to remain open until March was met with much rejoicing, and few would have been happier than promoters Rocksteady, who have enjoyed many a ﬁne evening in the venue. Following on from a stellar night headlined by Boddika in December, they return to serve up yet another night of cutting edge electronica headlined by Trevino, the alternate monicker of inﬂuential drum & bass man Marcus Intalex. One of the UK’s most intriguing and artistically intrepid producers, his blend of liquid and ambient drum & bass genres has seen releases through the Hospital and Metalheadz labels. Trevino sees him dipping his toe into the world of techno, and his ‘Klockwork’ and ‘Tactical Manouvres EP’ releases have already been met with some acclaim.
Pure, Saturday 16th February, 9pm – 2am £7 OTD (£4 Before 11pm)
THEOLOGY PRESENTS SKREAM & SGT POKES
Following local appearances in recent years by dubstep heavyweights Caspa, Nero and Benga, amongst others, the Watersplash ﬁnally welcomes arguably the greatest of them all, in the shape of dubstep pioneer Skream. Before there was Skrillex and the like on the other side of the pond, Oliver ‘Skream’ Jones was dragging the genre kicking and screaming into the mainstream, ﬁrst with the crossover remix of La Roux’s ‘In For The Kill’ and then alongside Benga and Artwork with supergroup Magnetic Man. Now with his own weekly show on Radio One and three albums under his belt, he’s undoubtedly one of the biggest names in all electronic music. He’s known to mix up his sets with a dash of techno, grime and garage alongside the bone-rattling dubstep you’d expect, making this one for electronic aﬁcionados across the board. Support comes from Rocksteady residents Ben Newman, Tharindu and John O’Connell, plus DJs Spim and Nightshift in Room Two.
HOUSETRAP/ VANGUARD PRESENT A DRUM & BASS SPECTACULAR WITH ED RUSH
The Watersplash, Saturday 23rd February, 10pm – 2am Tickets £15 from White Label, St Helier, Carob, St Brelade, The Watersplash
Two of island’s biggest dance music promoters team up for a special charity fundraiser in aid of Jersey Hospice and MacMillan Cancer Support. Having raised over £11,000 for charity in recent times, Housetrap have brought in Vanguard to give this event a d&b-ﬂavoured twist. The night starts with local DJs Terminal State and Nightshift (with more TBA) and is headlined by drum & bass legend Ed Rush. A pioneer in the ‘techstep’ sub genre, Ed’s releases through Grooverider’s Prototype label and Goldie’s Metalheadz imprint, as well as muchcelebrated collaborations with Optical, have made him one of the world’s most highly-regarded drum & bass producers around. With huge visuals, Co2 blasters and crowd entertainers promised, it looks to be a big one.
The Radisson, Friday 15th February, 9pm – 2am Tickets £15 from White Label, St Helier
ANY GIVEN SUNDAY LIVE
Following a busy summer which saw them appear at Jersey Live and grace the Main Stage at Guernsey Festival, AGS have been working away on a new album, which is ready for completion any moment now. They’ll be making their ﬁrst live appearance of the year at the Blue Note, where they’ll be unveiling new tracks and airing old ones alike. If funk-tinged live hip-hop (with a drop of folk and rock chucked into the mix) sounds like your cup of tea, don’t miss this. Support comes by way of a solo set from Any Given Sunday guitarist Matt McManus.
Blue Note Bar, Saturday 16th February, 8pm – 11pm Free Entry
THEOLOGY ‘QUINTESSENTIAL’ PRESENTS: ROGER SANCHEZ
Following last year’s ﬁrst ‘Quintessential’ night with John Digweed, the Theology team return with another opulent evening in the opulent surrounds of the Grand Hotel, in partnership with Gallery and this time headlined by international superstar DJ, the proliﬁc and Grammy Award-winning Roger Sanchez. For connoisseurs of dance music, this is sure to be one of the biggest events of the year, and you can expect to hear an eclectic array of house, disco, soul and latin inﬂuences picked up on the globetrotting Sanchez’s travels. The event is in support of local charity Brighter Futures, and features local DJs Warrens Le Sueur and Holt as well as Craig Alder and Gri , and Fuzzbox Inc in the Champagne Lounge.
The Grand Jersey, Saturday 2nd February, 7pm – 2am Tickets £27.50 from White Label, St Helier Check out our interview with Roger Sanchez in this edition of Gallery
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A 9 PERSON FOLK FEST
GALLERY MEETS THE BADLABECQUES
HOW WOULD YOU BEST DESCRIBE YOUR MUSIC?
We’re the folk music equivalent of a 9 person orgy! We all bring our particular talents to the party - hopefully creating a busy, exciting sound that falls somewhere between pop, folk, and danceable ‘World’ music. We’re also the sexiest Jèrriais- singing pop band ever. OK, we’re the only Jèrriais- singing pop band ever, but if there were others (unless they were Gallery models) we’d still be the sexiest. people including Sir Paul McCartney and Mercury Prize nominee Thomas White, but as a band we’d love to share a stage with the brilliant Quebecois band La Volée d'Castors, or The Folksmen from ‘A Mighty Wind’ – that would be some jam session.
WHAT MAKES A GOOD GIG?
A good gig is all about the magic. The crowd, the venue, the sound, the band, the banter, the body chemistry… When you get those things right you can’t help but have a good time. We have a song called ‘Rigodon d'Chorchel'lie’ (‘The Sorcerer’s Rigadoon’) which features various bits of Jersey folklore, magical beings, faeries, ghosts and of course the Black Dog of Bouley Bay. It starts o with a spell and by the middle of the song we always get the crowd to shout out as they dance – it’s usually pretty magical, evoking the time when local witches and wizards used to gather down at Rocqueberg on a Friday night, consume a bit too much home-made cider and some of those special mushrooms you ﬁnd up at Noirmont and generally have a good time… Allons, vé-t-en!
WHO/WHAT INSPIRES YOU MUSICALLY?
Most of our music is taken from traditional Jèrriais folk songs which we then put our own twist on, generally by giving it a new beat and spicing it up a bit… The Badlabecques sound has been very much inspired by the Paul Simon album ‘Graceland’, anything by Fairport Convention, ‘new’ folk groups like the Lloyd Yates Band, and Quebecois bands like La Bottine Souriante and La Volée d'Castors. Culturally, it’s all about the Jèrriais – we started the band to help promote the language and Jersey culture (commissioned by L’O ce Du Jèrriais), so it’s inspiring to know our album is being used in schools to help teach Jèrriais. We also like to have a good time – quite a few of the traditional songs are drinking songs so with 9 of us in the band it’s a party everywhere we go, and we’re inspired by the idea of getting people up and dancing to a language they can barely understand! V'là tch'est bien!
WHERE CAN THE JERSEY PUBLIC CATCH YOU PLAY? CAN THEY BUY YOUR MUSIC?
We’re exited to be headlining at the Jersey Arts Centre on 9th February as part of their ‘Festival 30’, and shortly after that we’ll be doing a mini ‘tour swop’ with an all-girl ukulele band from Guernsey, called Ukuladeez, so keep an eye on our website for details on that. Our debut album ‘Hèque Badlabecques!’ is out now and available from SeeDee Johns, White Label Records, Jersey Tourism, and various other places, as well as online.
WHICH LOCAL ACTS DO YOU ADMIRE?
We’re pretty good buddies with the Lloyd Yates Band as we share our percussionist, Polo, with them. We also had the privilege of having a guest slot on our album from Giles Robson (from the Dirty Aces) – he’s just been voted the UK’s top harmonica player. There’s a bunch of great local artists in Jersey and we admire anyone who’s ready to get up and have a go at making music…
We’re proud to say 50% of the proceeds from the sale of the album will go to local community projects: (25% to the Société Jersiaise , for the promotion and development of the Jèrriais language, and 25% to La Motte Street Studios, to help support local young musicians). So we’re not just the sexiest Jèrriais pop band – we’re also the nicest.
IF YOU COULD PLAY ALONGSIDE ANYONE, WHO WOULD IT BE?
Well our lead singer, Kit, has already played with some pretty cool
FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT WWW.BADLABECQUES.NET OR FIND BADLABECQUES ON FACEBOOK AT WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/BADLABECQUES
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ROGER SANCHEZ:
SUPERSTAR DJ… HERE WE GO!
Grammy-Award winning international DJ Roger Sanchez headlines Theology’s second ‘Quintessential’ night at the Grand Jersey this month (February 2nd), in what is sure to be one of the highlights of Jersey’s busy nightlife calendar. One of the most highlyregarded DJs on the planet, New York-born Sanchez has scored numerous hits with his own singles (2001’s ‘Another Chance’ being his most widely known commercial success) and remixes of such A-list artists as Michael Jackson, Kylie Minogue, Madonna, Daft Punk and Jamiroquai, and is renowned as one of the slickest live DJs you’ll ever see. Born to Dominican parents, his inﬂuences are a melting pot of global sounds, and his Quintessential set is sure to o er an eclectic mix of house, rock, techno and Latin ﬂavours. Gallery had an intercontinental chinwag with Roger as he kicked back at his Los Angeles home. Here’s what he had to say about New York, EDM, HMV and lots, lots more… Hi Roger, where are you, how are, and what have you been doing with your day today? Hi, I’m at home taking a short break from touring & writing in my studio. You’re coming to Jersey for the ﬁrst time in February – what can people expect from your set? Does a lot of planning go into your sets or do you prefer to gauge the vibe as you play? I deﬁnitely prepare the music but I don’t format my sets - I do prefer to feel out the vibe of the crowd. Every crowd is di erent! What’s your musical background, who were your early musical influences and how did you first get into DJing? I started out with Disco, Latin, Hip Hop & Jazz and got into House Music when it first emerged from Chicago. I used to be a breakdancer in High School & had friends who were DJs that inspired me to want to be doing what they were doing. As a New Yorker, you must appreciate the rich musical history the city has. What do you think it is that breeds such musical diversity there? The diversity of the people that live in New York is truly reflected in the musical heritage each group brings and that, in turn, blends into an amazing musical tapestry.
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This is a free-pronged question concerning the American ‘EDM’ explosion of the last 12 months… …Firstly, in Europe a lot has been made of how Americans don’t ‘get’ rave culture. Considering house music has its roots in the Chicago and Detroit scenes, do you think that’s just European snobbery at work, or is there something in that assertion? I think the current ‘EDM’ scene in the US is very commercialised at the moment but also very young – there are pros and cons, but I think there is some validity in the feeling that the US doesn’t understand the roots of dance culture – this is new to the current audience and it’s co-mingled with major artists and labels wanting to cash in on the latest popular craze. There’s also been a lot made of the suggestion that the amount of pop acts hiring in producers like David Guetta and Deadmau5 – or cheaper versions – has homogenized pop music in some way, and that as a result, there’s less diversity in the pop charts. Would you agree? I think there is A LOT of sameness in pop music now; everyone uses the same synth sounds and patterns, but that is true of any style of music that becomes popular- it breeds replication! The ﬁnal of those three prongs is – is it okay for DJs to be held up as ‘rock stars’, or do you feel it should be the music that does the talking, with no frills? I think that if a DJ is an ARTIST – performing with creativity and engaging the audience – they should be treated accordingly. However, the music should ALWAYS do the talking! Recently it’s been big news in the UK that HMV, Britain’s biggest chain of record shops, is to go into administration, which many are seeing as a ﬁnal nail in the co n for music in physical formats. Do you think it has a future, or do you think it’s time we embraced the digital age and got on with it? I think the digital age has come quite some time ago
and we should always look forward but learn from the past. To me it isn’t about the format – it’s about the music! Other than yourself of course, who’s the greatest DJ out there, in your opinion? There are too many truly great and talented DJs in various genres to truly name one ‘the greatest’. What would be the criteria? Mixing skills? Popularity? Fee Amount? And which new up-and-coming DJs and producers that we might not have heard of, would you recommend people check out? Some of the new guys making noise are Mike Vale, DJ PP, Electronic Youth and Maya Jane Coles. Finally, what are your plans for 2013? Putting family ﬁrst, getting ready to release a ton of new music this year and focus even more on my label, Stealth. Actually, ﬁnally, ﬁnally – what’s the best joke someone’s told you recently? I couldn’t repeat it – it’s FAR too dirty! Roger Sanchez headlines Theology ‘Quintessential’ at the Grand Jersey on Saturday 2nd February (7pm – 2am), in partnership with Gallery Magazine and in support of local charity Brighter Futures. Also performing on the night are DJs Warren Le Sueur, Warren Holt, Craig Alder, Gri , Ross Hunter, Steve Ferbrache and Fuzzbox Inc. Tickets are £27.50 from White Label and online from Eventbrite.com, with VIP booths and overnight packages also available direct from Theology and the Grand Jersey respectively.
SETH LAKEMAN CONFIRMED FOR SARK FOLK FESTIVAL 2013
Sark Folk Festival organisers have announced the ﬁrst major act for the 2013 festival: Mercury-nominated singer-songwriter, and virtuoso ﬁddler, Seth Lakeman. This news is announced as Sark Folk Festival is nominated for a national award. The festival, which is already a sell-out, will take place on 5-7 July 2013. Seth Lakeman, who will be performing with his band, is a world-renowned musician from Devon. He has released six albums to date, appeared on TV and at major festivals around the world. Before he comes to Sark his 2013 tour will take him to Australia, Germany, Holland and the UK. Seth’s brother, Sean Lakeman, appeared at the 2012 Sark Folk Festival and was one of the highlights, performing with his wife Kathryn Roberts. The festival, which is just three years old, is one of four nominees for the Best Festival category of the Spiral Awards 2013. It is competing against Cambridge Folk Festival, Beautiful Days and the Maverick festivals. The winner will be decided by a public vote. Anyone can vote via the Spiral Earth website at http://www.spiralearth. co.uk/spiralawards2013/. Voting closes on 14 March 2013. Festival founder, Simon Harvey, said “Its been a phenomenal start to the planning for 2013’s festival. First we sold all our weekend tickets within three days, which was unprecedented – last year it took three months to do that. Secondly we are really excited to conﬁrm Seth for this year’s festival. To have a world-renowned musician like Seth wanting to come to our little festival is absolutely fantastic. And then being nominated for the Spiral Earth Best Festival Award is the icing on the cake.”
FOR MORE INFORMATION CHECK OUT THEOLOGYEVENTS.ORG.UK AND ROGERSANCHEZ.COM
SARK FOLK FESTIVAL ISLE OF SARK, CHANNEL ISLANDS FRIDAY 5 JULY - SUNDAY 7 JULY WWW.SARKFOLKFESTIVAL.COM TICKETS ARE NOW SOLD OUT
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PAPARAZZI
GALLERY PRESENTS: BOHEMIAN MONOCHROME
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GALLERY PRESENTS: BOHEMIAN MONOCHROME
PAPARAZZI
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PAPARAZZI FACES OF 2012
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WHY STOP JUST BECAUSE THE NEIGHBOURS SAY SO?
SILENT DISCO HEAPHONE RENTAL FROM £1.75 PER PAIR (BASED ON 400 PAIRS) SEE GALLERY.JE FOR DETAILS OR CALL 811100 TO MAKE A RESERVATION
DEFINE YOUR OWN LIMITS
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VOTE FOR THE FACE OF 2012 AT GALLERY.JE/PAPARAZZI NOW OR THE GOOD LOOKING PEOPLE GET IT! 122
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PAPARAZZI FACES OF 2012
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SILENT |sīlənt| DISCO |diskō|
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adjective • not making or accompanied by any sound
noun (pl. discos) • a club or party at which people dance to pop music
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We’ve plunged into Jersey’s nocturnal underbelly and plucked out the very ﬁttest and sexiest girls and guys from our Paparazzi pics of 2012. But who’s the hottest? It’s not down to us to decide, but you, our gorgeous Gallery readers. So, cast your vote on our website www.gallery.je/paparazzi and help us pick The Face of 2012!
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DIRECTORY
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FULL COLOUR ANNUAL ADVERTISING FROM £46 PER MONTH
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Avalon Hair & Beauty
Avalon offers a complete portfolio of cutting edge hair and beauty services personalised for the individual. Experienced stylists and therapists deliver a friendly, high quality service making your visit a truly memorable experience. We also exclusively sell Sassoon hair products.
Pebble Boutique & Home
Two hidden gems, always packed full of beautiful things you want, Pebble Boutique, Home & Baby are located across two stores. You’ll ﬁnd our homeware, furniture, gifts & baby clothes in one store & ladies clothes & accessories just across the street. Open Mon - Sat.
RIO • HAIR • BEAUTY
Rio conveniently situated in the heart of St Helier, this dynamic salon has something for everyone, quality hairdressing and beauty services in modern contemporary surroundings. A great retail shop for all your hair/skin cleansing and conditioning needs, our knowledgeable staff have the answers.
Avalon Hair & Beauty 15 Burrard Street St Helier Tel: 888178
Tel: 769333 or 736449 www.ilovepebble.com 5, & 12-14 Market Street, St Helier Follow us on Facebook & Twitter
RIO • HAIR • BEAUTY Tel 734458 55 Halkett Place, St Helier
Fashion Mum’s Boutique
Fashion Mum’s Boutique is a fashion paradise for every mum, mum-to be and children up to age 5. We stock Isabella Oliver, Storksak, Olive and Moss, Lilly and Sid, Frugi and more. We have lots to choose from for very special gifts for a newborn baby to hampers and nappy cakes for baby showers. Like us on: facebook.com/fashionmum
Harbour Gallery
Bellezza
The largest contemporary art and craft gallery in the Channel Islands: exhibiting and selling work of over 800 local exhibitors. Stockists of art and craft materials, textile materials in the shop “Sew and Sew” and knitting yarns and accessories in “Knit Wits”. The Harbour Gallery is home to “Evolve” showcasing one off fashion designs from Jersey.
A stunning new salon situated in the recently renovated St Brelade’s Bay Hotel. We offer a wide range of treatments from essential beauty maintenance to more indulgent body treatments. Indulge yourself with our professional team in luxurious surroundings. Open 7 days a week (including 4 evenings).
Fashion Mum’s Boutique Unit 1 Parade Arcade, The Parade, St. Helier (by the General Hospital) www.fashionmum.co.uk
Harbour Gallery Open 7 days a week 10.30am – 5.30pm Tel: 743044
T: 01534 723333 E: www.bellezzajersey.co.uk
Manna
Manna is a relaxed laid back store that stocks the hard to ﬁnd fresh designer labels that have been selected for their individuality and fashion forward design including: By Malene Birger, American American Retro, Ba &Sh, American Vintage, 360, Ganni, Velvet and new for 2012: By Zoe, Stop Staring! And Bastyan.
IQ
Your local Apple experts. Get the full Apple experience right here in Jersey. All the latest Apple computers, iPods and iPads now with training in store! Join the revolution and test drive one today.
Providing robust credible business education for your success
JIBS has a reputation for excellence in meeting the island’s learning and development needs for all sectors of the business community. 3 Degrees • 28 Professional Qualifications • 10 Certificated Awareness Programmes • CPD Plus • 40 Short Courses • e-Learning • In-company Training Solutions
Manna
Tel: 619985
7 West’s Centre
10-14 Beresford Street St Helier, Jersey Tel: 01534 769320 www.IQJersey.com
tel: 816338 www.jerseyibs.com 12/13 Caledonia Place, The Weighbridge, St Helier
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fashion beauty
appetite culture
business travel
hardware sport
St Ouen’s school of dancing
Deveau Commercials
St Ouen’s school of dancing offer children’s dance classes in St Ouens and St Clements for ages 3-18 years. NEW CLASSES STARTING IN SEPTEMBER ST OUENS: Beginners Modern and Tap from 5 years Baby Ballet from 3 years ST CLEMENTS: Baby Ballet from 3 years
Deveau Commercials Ltd are the sole Channel Island agent for Toyota Materials Handling equipment. All types of forklift trucks, pallet trucks and attachments for sale or hire. Spare parts stocked for Toyota Forklifts, and an all makes forklift spare parts service is available.
Broken Screen!!?
iPod, tablet, laptop & smartphone repairs and modiﬁcations. Our main focus is to provide all of our customers with a truly satisfying customer service. We take pride in our high level of customer service and repair experience - therefore we provide same day turnaround and even free collection and drop off to your work place. Give us a call, email or visit us online.
Phone Doctor Phone 01534 527999 Email AandE@phonedoctor.je www.PhoneDoctor.je
St Ouen’s School of Dancing Tel: 01534 485218 Contact Carol Hurry dancing@stouens.com
Deveau Commercials Limited, La Rue de Bechet, Trinity 865940 | 07797 726639 deveauworkshop@gmail.com
Éclat
Creme
The cold snap is here... We are well prepared at Éclat with our winter warmers... Beautiful hats, knits and scarves but very soon Spring silk scarves, a new vintage stationary range and some cool new bits for the man who has everything.
Welcome to Creme the exclusive ladies’ boutique in the heart of St John’s village. Creme is the out of town established boutique with plenty of parking. Creme have exclusivity on many brands such as Elisa Cavaletti, Joseph Ribtoff, as well as stocking well known designers such as Gerry Webber, Basler and many more. Our hours of opening are as follows:
Creme 01534 862603 Mon - Saturday 9.30am-5.00pm Wednesday 10.00am-5.00pm
Open New Horizons
Why not take full advantage of the outdoor space you have. Don’t be shut in! Don’t be closed off! Folding sliding doors can be used in a whole range of applications, from Terraces to Orangeries. Modern Living at its best.
Éclat Open: Mon - Sat 10 - 5pm Gorey Village t. 840511
Affordable Windows Tel: 01534 747858 info@affordablejersey.co.uk www.affordablejersey.co.uk
AFFORDABLE JERSEY
We are now also stocking the complete uniforms for De La Salle and De la Salle Prep, Le Rocquier, St Saviour, Rouge Bouillon and Janvrin, along with JCG, JCG Prep,.Bel Royal, D’Auvergne, First Tower, Grands Vaux, Haute Vallee, Hautlieu, Helvitia, St George’s, St John, St Lawrence, St Martins and Trinity. Visit our web site www.lyndalesports.com for all your uniforms, accessories and embroidery at your leisure. The only dedicated uniform specialist in the Islands.
Lyndale Sports tel: 862411 Open: Mon – Sat 9am – 5pm Follow the signs on Trinity Hill (A8)
Need school uniforms
Belldrains - The Drainage Specialists
Sewage and Efﬂuent Systems
(Formerly Dyno-Rod) We have been clearing drains in the island since 1968 and are able to undertake all of you’re requirement with regard to drainage including DRAIN CLEARANCE, HIGH PRESSURE WATER JETTING, C.C.T.V. INSPECTION SURVEYS DRAIN REPAIR AND REPLACEMENT, ADVANCED (NO-DIG) DRAIN LINING TECHNOLOGY, REROUNDING AND LINING OF PITCH FIBRE PIPES JET-VAC TANKER SERVICES
Le Petit Fosse St Ouen, 01534 485000 enquiries@belldrains.com
Bellpumps are Jerseys leading Specialist Water, Waste Pumping and Treatment Engineers with over 30 years experience with all types of systems around the Island. The Company designs both commercial and domestic systems speciﬁcally for the clients individual requirements. All Installations systems can be complete with fully automatic controls where required.
Le Petit Fosse St Ouen, 01534 485555 enquiries@bellpumps.com
belldrains
bellpumps
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DIRECTORY
FULL COLOUR ANNUAL ADVERTISING FROM £46 PER MONTH
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Alternative Motorcycles
We are the only motorcycle shop for the Sinnis bikes in Jersey, and we sell both new and secondhand bikes of all makes and models, we are also able to offer a restoration service. We have a breakdown/recovery service and our shop in St Quen caters for both parts,accessories,helmets, clothing and luggage. We are opposite the St Quen village car park so plenty of free parking available. For all your needs just pop in and see us or give us a call.
Alternative Motorcycles La Route du Marais, St Ouen 01534 482261 altmcs@hotmail.co.uk
REAL Professional Tools
L.C. Pallot & Sons Ltd. carries an extensive range of hand, power and air tools, air drills, sanders, blow guns, spray guns, impact wrenches and sockets, spanner, plier and screwdriver sets, cordless drills, angle and bench grinders and cut off saws! If L.C. Pallot & Sons Ltd. does not have your desired tool in stock, our staff will happily do what it takes to order it in as soon as possible.
Unit 6, Clos du Marais Rue de Bechet, Trinity 01534 863888 www.lcpallot.je
Daghorn Motors
Established in 1957, Daghorn Motors is a company with a deserved reputation for supplying quality used and new cars at realistic prices. Being based in the Channel Island of Jersey and the U.K. we are in the envyable position of having a constant source and supply of low milage used cars, from Fiats to Ferraries, available to us.
Daghorn Motors 9 Great Union Road, St Helier 01534 870393 077977 15820 enquiries@daghornmotors.co.uk
Roger Baudin Upholsterers & Curtain Makers
Looking for something a bit different...?
For Beautiful Gardens...
We design and re-upholster furniture including chairs, sofas, headboards and more. These can be made to your design and speciﬁcation. Our skills also include making loose covers, cushions and arm caps. A long established company with a professional, customer friendly service. Whatever your needs we will try our very best from; loose covers, foam cut to size and curtain poles supplied and ﬁtted.
Roger Baudin Tel: 861756
The Gooseberry Bush - your one-stop Clothing & Lifestyle store! Clothing collections from Lauren Vidal, Gabrielle Parker with Jewellery, shoes and accessories to compliment. Gifts and Interiors from all over the world. Gorgeous babywear, comforters and keepsakes, including the popular East of India gifts.
The Gooseberry Bush @Rondel’s
La Rue du Haut de l’Orme, Trinity. Bus Route 25
Speak to Andrew Le Maistre. Also stocking a wide range of sheds and outbuildings as well as offering every aspect of garden clearance, creation and care. A family run company, all work is professionally undertaken to meet the highest standards and guarantee longevity of the ﬁnished product whether it be for domestic, commercial or retail premises.
Andrew Le Maistre Landscapes T: 01534 867021 T: 07797 729123
Andrew Le Maistre
L A n d s c A p e s
Tel: 726224
Complete groundwork solutions
Teresa Hughes - Counsellor
JB offer all aspects of ground works including; drainage, excavation, landscaping, slab formation, concrete foundations, brick paving & concrete works. We offer reliable, efﬁcient and affordable machinery hire using the most up to date equipment. For free estimates and competitive rates, call James to discuss your requirements.
JB Groundworks Ltd 01534 482108 07797 818032 james@jbgroundworks.com
• Advanced Diploma in Counselling • Member of The British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy An opportunity to verbalise your feelings and anxieties in a private and conﬁdential setting Learn to live in a more resourceful and contented way.
Soundwave Surf Shop
Jersey’s Core Surf Shop, run by dedicated Jersey Surfers since 1978. With street parking on the main road to the beach, pop in for last minute wax and check out the latest from Hurley, Dephect, Da Kine, Astrodeck, FCS, Body Glove, LSD Surfboards, JS Surfboards, Glen D’Arcy Surfboards, VS & NMD Bodyboards!
Teresa Hughes
treehughes@live.com
Tel: 734751
Soundwave Surf Shop La Rue De L’eglise, St. Peter 01534 485799 www.soundwavesurfshop.com
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Hey beautiful!
Brand stockists
Estate Agent Directory
YSL FEELUNIQUE @ AU CAPRICE 732380 SISLEY VOISINS CREME DE LA MER DEGRUCHY TOM FORD DEGRUCHY ORIGINS VOISINS L’OCCITANE VOISINS LANCOME FEELUNIQUE @ AU CAPRICE 732380 PHYTOMER SPA SIRENE SWAROVSKI SWAROVSKI DERMALOGICA RIO HAIR AND BEAUTY BELLEZZA ESTEE LAUDER DEGRUCHY THALGO LES ROCHES SPA 615425
EDGE COX PEEL WILSON
Jersey’s annual foodie directory
Choice Properties
www.choicejersey.com
620620 625569
Crespel Properties
www.crespel.co.uk
Dandara
www.dandara.com
789900 877977
Edge Cox Peel & Wilson
www.ecpw.co.uk
Le Gallais
ESTATE AGENTS
www.legallais.co.uk
766689 730341
Appetite began when we couldn’t ﬁnd a local restaurant guide that would tell us when all our favourite places were open, and what was on the menu. So we decided to write one ourselves.
The fourth edition of Appetite is out now and has all the key features you love about your food annual – easy to navigate sections, sample menus and clear contact details as well as a few extra tasty tidbits like interviews, features and special o ers and giveaways for Appetite readers.
Gaudin & Company
www.gaudin.je
Indigo Estates
www.indigo.je
639955
ND Estates
www.ndestates.com
629009 737293 710710
Maillards
www.maillardsestates.com
Red Properties
www.redproperties.je
Don’t forget to tell them you saw them in Gallery! They may give you something extra...
Fancy winning a meal for two at a restaurant of your choice? Just join our facebook page.
www.facebook.com/appetitejersey
Savills
www.savills.je
722227
fee.je
Self-Service Property Sales
Flat Fee
www.ﬂatfee.je
766667
NEXT MONTH’S THEME IS
GROWTH
BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS
127
GOODBYE
boardom
WHAT DO YOU LUST AFTER?
A HOLIDAY IN SPAIN EVERY YEAR THE PERFECT WOMAN
CULFY!
Paige / 19 / Student
Naomi / 15 / Student
THE PERFECT WOMAN
NOEL KELLY
THE PERFEC TT THE PERFEC WOMAN WOMAN
Jasmine / 15 / Student
A SURF HOLIDAY IN FRANCE
Ben / 22 / Student at Chichester
ZACH ELAM AND SAUSAGE ROLLS!
Harrison / 19 / Student
A HOLIDAY IN BRAZIL
Charlotte / 23 / Social Worker
A HOLIDAY IN HAWAII WITH A BEAUTIFUL GIRL
Stephen / 28 / Bricklayer
CHOCOLATE!
Katie / 52 / Pet Carer
128
JERSEY’S STYLE MAGAZINE