Not two years ago, when I was wandering the Himalaya, I was lucky enough to save the life of a bloke a bit like Morgan Freeman in the film Robin Hood. He swore to stay by my side until he had returned the favour of saving my life.

However, I convinced him to forget all that rubbish and instead got him to run the newly formed TLP shop. He stands for truth, justice, patience, kindness, postage and packaging. Ladies, gentlemen and youngsters of all ilks, I give you the man they call “The Monk”.

Featuring the ‘skinny bridge’ as seen in the hit James Bond film ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ from 1971. The film is based on Ian Fleming’s 1956 novel of the same name. Diamonds Are Forever was a commercial success but received criticism for its humorous camp tone.

To purchase please contact The Monk at themonk@thelondonpolice.com, tell him what your interested in and where you are from and he will respond with a price plus postage*. The Monk listens to James Blunt and is a master of