An Epic Journey into Holy Relationships

There have been some enormous shifts and changes in my perception, in my relationships and in my living circumstances at the time of writing this. I needed to process, waiting for the dust to settle somewhat before I could see clear of the fog. And now it feels right to share some of the recent lessons and miracles that have graced my experience and increased my trust in Spirit’s perfect Love.

I will recap here for those who don’t know about my journey so far in the area of Holy Relationships. My initial soul buddy Tomas Vieira, began the Course’s path with me in 1990. By then we were married and into the 6th year of our very special and highly dysfunctional relationship.

We were hypnotized by the world’s (ego) form of “love” and entirely new to the concept of conscious Love, of Holy Relationship; therefore it took quite a cosmic slap to break us out of the old. And that initial jolt, 25 years ago, came in the form of a courageous realtor who touched both our hearts. His name is Daniel Boissevain and I will share part two of this astounding story later in this article.

By 1997 Tomas and I were guided to let go of our marriage in order to save the relationship, the real content being unconditional Love. It was a monumental decision yet we chose to stay deeply connected during and after it. In fact we co-authored a bestselling book titled Take Me to Truth, and we travelled the world teaching together for 4 years.

In 2000 I was strongly guided to move from Australia to the Santa Fe NM, USA and it was there that I met Nick. He was the perfect teacher for me at the time. He had a gigantic heart but no interest whatsoever in undoing his false-self, the ego. He helped me consolidate my learning by teaching me that it only takes ONE to initiate a Holy Relationship. He was instrumental in helping me to identify and release my emotional pain body (ego) by seeing that it all came from me, from my own unconscious ego desire for self-attack.

After the first 4 years of my endless attempts to get Nick to change (as the ego does), specifically to join me on my Spiritual path with no success, we hit a wall in our relationship. In August of 2004, alone after yet another conflict with Nick, I dropped to my knees and asked Spirit to help me. I was convinced the problem was with my partner. What happened next completely changed my relationship and my life.

Weeping and on my knees, I heard a Voice boom out, “there is no Nick!” This statement ripped right through to the core of my being. I got it. Spirit meant LITERALLY there was no Nick! So who exactly was I angry with? Who had betrayed and abandoned me? Who was constantly judging me? Who was unwilling to completely embody these Spiritual teachings and take them all the way? It all came from me! And Nick was simply mirroring my own unrecognized choice for judgment and self-attack.

This was where I learned that all seeming conflict, judgment and attack, while appearing to come from others, the body or the world, was without exception, coming from myself. This is the ego using others to project unconscious guilt as self-attack. To the degree that I’m emotionally triggered tells me the extent to which I unknowingly harbor guilt as self-hatred. And it is this that needs to be forgiven because this and only this is the single cause of all suffering. That is why there is never anyone else to forgive except myself. It’s all an inside job.

The miracle that transpired from my astounding epiphany that day was that Nick and I never again had another conflict. The instant I silently took full responsibility for my projections was the same instant that Nick dropped his seeming criticism of me.

While married to Nick, Tomas and I continued to work, teach and grow together. Our bond grew in leaps and bounds although there was no romantic involvement. And Tomas and Nick were best of buddies.

In June 2009, Tomas manifested the illusion of cancer and this precipitated a huge period of un-learning the ego’s pseudo laws for me. As you probably know, he eventually passed from his body in December of 2010. Tomas’ passing provided me the perfect catalyst for a necessary breakdown and monumental breakthrough in January 2011. It initiated my opening to receive Jesus’ deeper teachings as transmissions in The End of Death trilogy. It was the beginning of my intensive 4-year period of quarantine, listening to Jesus and taking notes.

Eighteen months into my quarantine period, it became obvious and necessary for me to move out of our home and to live on my own as I dropped ever more deeply into transcribing and learning to embody these end of death teachings.

Lust and Love are Mutually Exclusive

Yet there was much more for me to learn. Eight years ago in 2006, I felt undeniable inner guidance to become celibate. This posed a challenge for Nick however he accepted my decision. Although I made it clear to him that he was entirely free to enter a sexual relationship with someone else if he so desired…just as long as we both continued to remain joined at the heart.

Over the next 8-year period I received part of a teaching on how the ego uses sexual desire as an unconscious block to the miracle impulse. In short, lust and Love cannot coexist. They are mutually exclusive. The presence of lust excludes True Love and is the ego’s substitute for it. While lust is not bad in itself, the desire for it does increase guilt as unconscious self-attack.

Whatever we use the body for, it will become to us. And lust, like any other body appetite that we might prioritize above God’s Love, will be used by the ego for self-attack because it glorifies the body and not the Holy Self. Lust is a form of separation to be healed and forgiven.

This is just a small part of a profound teaching, however until recently I mistakenly believed that this fragment was all of it. And I threw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. I judged and rejected all expressions of physical intimacy outright. It wasn’t until recently that the full teaching began to make itself known to me.

As a result of my confusion over this, I fell into great self-doubt and prayed for divine clarification. Then recently, in November 2014, Spirit delivered a wonderful opportunity to heal my fragmented perception in this area. For me, this began a pivotal learning on Sacred Union and Divine intimacy. And it was nothing like I had imagined.

Divine intimacy is not body-centered but heart-centered and is a celebration of True heart communion. While the body may be the vehicle through which this joining is expressed, it is in no way the goal. This subject is discussed in The End of Death (Vol. Three).

Where Two or More are Gathered

Well it seems this is the perfect time to share more about Daniel, the realtor and ACIM student who, 25 years ago, was the original catalyst for the mega shift and healing in my relationship with Tomas. In 1990 when Daniel and I first met, there was an immediate karmic connection. We knew each other and recognized in each other, an immense willingness and devotion to Truth. Needless to say, there was a great reverence between us.

I really wish I could share that profound experience we all had back then with you now, however I just couldn’t do it justice in a few short paragraphs. If you’d like to know more, you can either listen to an interview I did with Ken Bok, here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnaPeJ5haPo

I feel Daniel and I were brought together by Spirit back then to accomplish that crucial shift in my relationship with Tomas (in myself). Once accomplished, Daniel and I gradually lost touch with each other and while he remained present in my heart, I didn’t hear from him again until just six months ago on November 11, 2014.

Months before Daniel reappeared, I had asked Jesus to help me rise to the next step in my development of trust in only God’s Love. I specifically requested that He bring to me a being who would match me in my 100% devotion to these teachings; someone who would be as close to 100% vertical at all times, someone who would constantly “call me out” to be vigilant only for God no matter what. I also asked Jesus to help me heal my confusion about physical intimacy. Was I missing something? Was I in denial? And if I was, then I asked Him to please bring me Divine insights in this area.

Then Daniel suddenly re-appeared in my life on 11/11/14. And it quickly became undeniable that I had met my match. Our reunion initiated yet another stage of great un-learning and undoing for me, amidst much joy and many miracles.

It was during this initial period that I was given a powerful insight. It only takes one to awaken IN the ego’s dream. However it takes two to agree they are one in Christ in order to awaken FROM it. In other words, it takes complete forgiveness of the illusory gap that appears to separate two people. Once that gap is healed then all our relationships become (remembered as) Holy. This of course, includes the very last of our special relationships to be healed; the most revered of all the ego’s idols, the body and our unconscious attraction to death as an escape from Love as our Holy Self. Note: A Holy Relationship is CONSCIOUS and not necessarily romantic. However it is always inclusive, whereas the special relationship is exclusive.

Earlier, I mentioned that with Nick I had learned phase one which was that it only takes one (me) to initiate a Holy Relationship. Now with Daniel, I welcome this second phase, which requires two to be equally willing to fulfill the Holy Relationship (close the gap completely). And this is the magnificent gift of being able to relate with another who shares an equal commitment to Truth.

To be more specific, two commit together to undo every block to their awareness of Love’s presence. Contrary to the ego’s obsession with retaining its special identity, this level of commitment entails the demolition of our false identity along with its beliefs and values. And that…is very frightening to many.

There are seven essential keys to Holy Relationships. The willingness to consistently embrace and demonstrate the following qualities is crucial to collapsing the seeming “gap” that separates us from others and from our Holy Self. Those keys are: 1) Willingness 2) Accountability 3) Emotional Vulnerability/transparency 4) Defenselessness 5) Radical self-honesty 6) Gratitude 7) Trust. You can read more about these here: https://takemetotruth.org/nouks-blog/the-seven-powerful-keys-to-holy-relationships/

At a practical level, Daniel and I have joined with Jesus in a powerful commitment to take this Holy Relationship to its fullest expression. What we have learned in just 6 short months together has been absolutely staggering. I look forward to sharing what we have learned with you soon.

I am so humbled by this rare opportunity to enter yet a deeper phase of Sacred Union, this time at a level that I would have previously resisted. And with all my heart, I thank every one of my relationship teachers for the abundant lessons and Love they have shared with me. I am so incredibly blessed.

In joyful conclusion, although it’s been a radical ride lately, I feel that I am now back and in my God-groove, ready to celebrate with you all. I am so happy to be back!

PS. Volume Two of The End of Death is underway. Stay tuned for more updates!

19 Comments

Triskana
on June 3, 2015 at 10:52 am

“Think not you can Direct the course of Love, for Love, if it finds you worthy, will direct Your Course” Kahlil Gibran 1923 The Prophet So over the top happy for you Nouk! I feel like your energy has returned! I knew you were missing something, but not what ( or whom). How will you conquer the travel distance? Who will be moving? What year is he born? I want to see your love planets combining! *tee hee* congrats on your announcement and all of its glory! You rock, Sister!

Nouk, this is wonderful news. So interesting to watch you transform and adjust and receive new inspiration and support. It’s interesting that your opening photo is of you alone, and your final photo is of you together. 🙂 … I trust your hearts will melt into each other and be filled with the total joy of mutual awakening.

Darling Nouk, something told me to check up on you today and here you are all awashed in divine love’s glory as originally intended. Beauty and perfect expressions you both present and extend to us all. Blessings unbound.

The night after reading Nouk’s post about why she has been out of contact with us and in particular her relationship with Daniel a poem came to me which I wish to share. I woke that night at 5 AM and as I lay in bed these words came to me, “Heaven Sings.” Some of you may know that poems come to me in this manner so I was not surprised and I know Spirit had a teaching for me and a message for Nouk (and I think us all). As I lay with the notion of Heaven Sings I gently waited for clarification and what came next was Nouk had found a Love relationship without boundaries Well I got up. Went to me computer and the below poem came forward. I have shared this with Nouk and asked her permission to share it with all of you. We both new that there we deep teachings for us all that spring form the poem and she gave her permission She also asked that I share the link to my book, “Wisdom Rising – Poems and Writings for Heart Directed Living” which I have also included below.

I hope you find meaning for yourself in the following words:

Heaven Sings

Heaven Sings
for you have found Love
that knows no boundaries

It is a Love that is at it’s
heart a State of Being.

It is a relationship
with unlimited expression
and no form
other than that
which spontaneously appears
in the moment.

It is a total yielding
to the Heart’s desire.

There is no past
other than the the memory
of contentment.

For all things of value
now rest
in the full experience
of the moment.

Yes, Heaven sings
for you have yielded to
your inheritance

You have found Love
and it will now become
part of your experience
in all things
within the dream.

What an amazing, continually unfolding journey you are on Nouk. John Mark’s talks at the last retreat blew me away, and I guess that he had an impact on you too. Blessings upon you, and keep writing. We need our teacher, our Nouky!! And lets hear it for Brother J – always very patient, and very persistent. LOL!!! Jim – thank you for sharing your beautiful poem with us too.

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About Nouk

Nouk Sanchez is a beacon of Light among the many wonderful teachers of A Course in Miracles. Her unconditional Love and depth of wisdom awaken a safe and uncompromising space for students to safely explore hidden fears and blocks to God’s Love.

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Our aim is to help people recognize and undo the one cause of all suffering: the ego (aka – fear). By providing resources, education and mentoring, our intent is to empower individuals with the means to trust in their Divine Teacher within.

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