The Real Story

Hungover man regrets spending half his salary on Champagne

A city centre man was today feeling very empty after spending almost half his salary on 2 bottles of Champagne.

The man spent most of the night in an expensive city centre discotheque where he was befriended by 2 women who “seemed to be really into” him at the start of the night.

Immediately counting his blessings, he ordered an expensive bottle of Champagne to be delivered with a sparkler across the room to where they were standing.

“We were getting on great! We had a long talk about politics and about my job in a bank doing fund accountancy,” he said. “The club was getting busier, and after a while the girls started to seem less interested, I don’t know why, so I ordered another bottle of Champagne with a sparkler on top, so that everyone in the club would notice me with the girls. But nobody seemed to care or notice, the girls disappeared and now I’m broke.”

With 3 weeks to go until pay day and rent on the apartment due, it’s going to be a long month for this man.