Inspired by idle daydreaming and that stupid ‘I wish I was a billionaire’ song.

If you had exactly R 1million, what would you do with it?

I’d use half to pay off the remainder of my pad (about 400,000) and car (about 60,000). Then I’d quit my job, take a couple months and the other 40 grand and go for a holiday someplace with sunny beaches and wanton, scantily clad and highly immoral women. I’d donate 10% of the total to a wildlife charity (like the Cheetah Conservation Fund – I’m not a completely selfish dick), and take the last 400 grand and use it to start up a seedy little underground metal/biker bar. I’d grow my hair (head and facial) out like fuckin zz top and get all tatted up, and I’d only play Metallica/AcDc/Iron Maiden/Led Zeppelin and serve Windhoeks and tequila. I’d spend the next 30 or 40 years gymming in the day, developing an alcohol addiction by night, beating up emo scene kids trying to ‘be cool’ in my bar, banging golddigging goth chicks and hopefully die around 65-70 looking like Mickey Rourke.