Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML

Sell your car and Uber everywhere you need to go. I’d recommend a bicycle, but I think you’re too stupid to operate one.

Even the most modest tap into a pole with cause more damage than the cost of a speeding ticket (unless you were close to breaking the sound barrier.) Plus, the cop could give you a hefty ticket for crashing into the pole.

You wrecked your car to try to get out of a ticket? You *willingly* damaged your property which will definitely cost you time and money to fix to *try* to avoid paying a ticket that would only cost money and leave you with a perfectly usable car? YDI many times over.

You don't do so well in math do you? Repainting one panel on your car is already more than your ticket, not to mention the other damages that you may caused. It's amazing you survived this long without seriously injuring yourself.