The Perfect Man

I think living in Chicago and being a single, heterosexual female is not a good combination. Walking down any given street at any given time, 70% of the passing men are going to be gay. That number jumps to 90% when you add certain conditions such as “not old enough to be your father” or “cuter than a mailbox”. The odds are not in my favor, clearly.

I like playing with Photoshop. There’s just something about cutting and splicing images that keeps the perfectionist in me entertained for hours. Plus you end up with some pretty funny pictures. I recently got the idea to craft the “perfect man.” I googled far and wide for images of male celebrities, and took certain physical features that I liked the most. Here’s what I ended up with:

I have included the resulting picture below. If you know anyone who looks like this guy (only perhaps a little less plastic surgery-esque) you must do the following:
1. Render him unconscious.
2. Tie him up.
3. Gimme.

He played Will on the first few seasons of Alias. He has some new cooking show on ABC or something. He was one of the gay guys in Wet Hot American Summer. Um… he's in Wedding Crashers, if you've seen that (he's the rich guy who is with the girl Owen Wilson's character likes). He's way cute.

I can't believe the responses to this experiment have been so negative. I think he looks pretty good. Maybe his head is slightly too wide but that's all. It's definitely better than the "If They Mated" segments on Conan O'Brien.

You know that scene in Jurassic Park where Jeff Goldblum's character is yelling at the old man for messing with nature? Replace the old man with you, and there you go.
DR. IAN MALCOM: "You spent so much time thinking if you could create a hideous he-beast that you never stopped and thought about whether or not you should."