Because knowing myself is harder than I expected.

How Good is God?

This is a long-ish story, but here goes. When Elijah House ended, I felt like God was telling me that I needed to start a post-abortion ministry at my church. HELLOOOOOOO. So. Not. Ready. For. That. But at the same time, I told one of my Elijah House prayer team about it, and she recommended talking to a missionary returning after a decade on the field who ran such a ministry abroad for quite a few years. It was a 100% confirmation of what I felt the Lord told me to do. Isn’t He good?

They came home about a month ago, and I was afraid to talk with her, we’ll call her Ransomed Grace. We all know that I’m not all that great at talking to strangers, but I felt like I had to do it. God told me clearly that I was supposed to see if she’d prayerfully consider counseling me through the abortion issue, given her experience in the field. That was 2 weeks ago. Sunday, she said yes, and that we should meet today. Isn’t He good?

I was nervous about tonight. RG is a virtual stranger. She lives an hour away. I left my house at 4 and, because of the rain in the Atlanta area and afternoon traffic, got to her house 5:20, 20 minutes past our appointed time. To quote Olympia Dukakis in “Mr. Holland’s Opus”, “What an auspicious beginning”.

RG challenged me. She challenged me in my relationship with my mother, with my relationship with God, my husband, myself. She gave me homework (LOVE), called me on my crap (double love). She let me know that she’s in this with me for the long haul, even said that we’re not in a hurry and was talking in periods of months.

Now, my heart isn’t accustomed to being accepted like that, and certainly not used to someone who doesn’t know me inviting me into her home, sharing her story, walking me through something so hard and making it clear that she was not going to leave me alone. I feel safe, loved, and important. Isn’t He good?