Cat Jokes

We've got lots of funny Cat jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you call a cat that eats lemons? A. A sourpuss.

Q. How do you spell mousetrap with ONLY three letters?A. C-A-T!

Q. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a caterpillar? A. A walkie talkie.

Q. Why did the cat sit on the computer?A. To keep an eye on the mouse.

Q. What money do dogs and cats have? A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat's name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat's name was One Two Three. Both cats think they're better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why?A. The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (Un Deux Trois cat sank)

Q. What has the fur of a cat, the whiskers of a cat, ears of a car, a tail of a cat, but is not a cat?A. A kitten.

Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay? A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.

Q. Which pillar is not used in a building?A. A caterpillar.

Q. What's a cat's favourite magazine? A. A CAT-alogue.

Q. What is smaller then a talking cat?A. A spelling bee.

Q. There are ten cats on a boat. One jumps off, how many are left?A. None, they were all copy cats!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ball and a cat? A. A fur ball.

Q. What is a cat's favorite color?A. PURRple!

Q. There are 10 cats in a boat. One cat jumped out of the boat. How many cats were left? A. None, they were all copycats.

Q. What animal has more lives than a cat?A. A frog because it croaks every night!

Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?A. For his litter!

Q. What is the cat's favorite button on the remote? A. Paws.

Q. What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass?A. A lawn MEOW-er!

Jokes

There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow."
Second cat said, "Meow."
Third cat said, "Meow, meow."
The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."

A cat died in a house. The servant started crying badly.
Master: It is only a cat that has died, why are you crying so much?
Servant: Master, when the cat was there I used to drink the milk and put the blame on it. Now on whom will I put the blame?

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"

There were 2 cats looking into a green canary's cage. The first cat said to the second cat, "That's not a canary, it's green!"
The second cat said, "I don't know, maybe it's not ripe yet!"

A boy walked into his classroom late. "Why are you late?" the teacher asked.
"Because I saw a dead cat on the way to school," he said.
"How did you know it was dead?"
"I PSST in its ear."
"YOU DID WHAT!?"
"Yeah, I bent down and went PSST in its ear and it didn't move."