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Saturday, September 17, 2011

My Fire has been LIT- Praise GOD!

I have a really hard week/weeks since school started. I was floundering, I didn't feel a "purpose"??? I was almost just stunned into complete comotose state during the day for the first couple of weeks... I can't believe I am admitting this, but there is a point I wanna share... Those first couple of weeks all I did was sleep and watch Netflix "24" Episodes... I did NOTHING else... Oh, well I ATE, and ATE, and ATE... this is what I do when I am depressed. I needed help, but where did I turn? Inward, to SELF, and then some other major things have come up...I won't go into that....but I got so upset and who did I look to ME? I blamed me, I said things about myself that are not true, and I wallowed in it...

But guess what happened, in the midst of this the Lord God has lit a fire under me suddenly. He is whispering truths in my ear... You are beautiful, You are Created in MY image, You are LOVED!
and with this fire, I just cannot seem to learn enough about HIM, about his Truth, and His Grace, and Prayer, and I almost cannot decide what to read, or what to listen to..... I know always THE BOOK first, and PRAYER, but I want to read others stuff, and listen to podcasts and audiobooks as I do stuff....
As he has brought all this to me he has also brought PEACE and JOY.None of my problems have changed, all is at this moment still as it was... But what has changed is I am looking upward, rather than looking at the "mountains" in front of me.

Now I am getting things done around the house, I am getting organized, I am even beginning to exersize again-- again all from HIM.
I won't say I never flounder, I know I will continue to, but it is my earnest desire that through DISCIPLINE, which will come from HIS strength, that I will continue to grow in both Spiritual and Physical DISCIPLINE, in my prayer life especially, and that I will continue to seek out the TRUTHS about him, and that he says about me..NO MORE GIVING IN TO THE LIES( well this is my prayer, I know I will falter, but I know MY GOD LOVES ME, every little hair on my head, and he will pick me up and by GRACE keep me going despite ME)

The Lord says,
Your Body is not Your Own (1 Cor. 6:19(, Your body is bought at a price, Your body is to be my Temple (1 Cor 3:16)
Elizabeth Elliot said, "Discipline, for a christian, begins with the BODY"

We are to commit to a lifelong pursuit of DISCIPLINE - 2 Timothy 4:7, 1 Corinthians 15:58, Phillipians 3:14

Also, another blessing came to me in the form of lyrics to some songs... I had loaded a CD from ITUNES because some of the blips has sounded good. I was listening to it for the first time in the car line and tears just started streaming.
It was Mandisa- The Truth about YOU
&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;THis&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;
YOu say lovely, I say broken, I say guilty, you say forgiven......
It would change everything if only I knew the truth about me!!!!

and then came this one
JUST CRY

take some time, let those PRAYERS roll down your cheek!!!!! WOW, not just feeling bad for yourself, but talking to GOD through tears...He wants us to come to him when we are broken!!!

JUST CRY

Why you gotta act so strong?
Go ahead and take off your brave face
Why you telling me that nothing's wrong
It's obvious your not in a good place
Who's telling you to keep it all inside
And never let those feelings
Get past the corner of your eye

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
Just cry

I know you know your Sunday songs
A dozen verses by memory
Yeah they're good but life is hard
And days get longYou gotta know God can handle your honesty
So feel the things your feeling
Name your fears and doubts
Don't stuff your shame and sadness, loneliness and anger
Let it out, let it out

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright

Just cry
Just cry

It doesn't mean you don't trust him
It doesn't mean you don't believe
It doesn't mean you don't know
He's redeeming everything.

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
But tonight it's alright