Star Wars with occasional sarcasm

Tag Archives: wtf

The folks at Star Wars Uncut have an interesting take on the fan film – split A New Hope up into 15 second clips, and then have people claim a bit to recreate. The internet versions will be sewn back together into… What? We’ll just have to see. All the bits have been claimed, but some recreations have already begun to appear.

One big advantage of the name change, the executives say, is that Sci Fi is vague — so generic, in fact, that it could not be trademarked. Syfy, with its unusual spelling, can be, which is also why diapers are called Luvs, an online video Web site is called Joost and a toothpaste is called Gleem.

“We couldn’t own Sci Fi; it’s a genre,” said Bonnie Hammer, the former president of Sci Fi who became the president of NBC Universal Cable Entertainment and Universal Cable Productions. “But we can own Syfy.”

Another benefit of the new name is that it is not “throwing the baby away with the bath water,” she added, because it is similar enough to the Sci Fi brand to convey continuity to “the fan-boys and -girls who love the genre.”

Oh honey: No. Just no. This is not the rebooting of Battlestar Galactica: This is taking what’s already perceived as a dumbed-down term for the genre (if only among the kind of people who tend to think that Star Wars Destroyed Science Fiction With Fun) and making it even more stupid. Which, I suppose, is more or less what we’ve come to expect from the people who have found crap like Seabeast and Mansquito viable programming choices.

State patrol troopers in the Seattle area pulled over a man who claimed he was speeding (110 mph!) in order to get home in time to place a bid on an eBay item. The cherry on this fail sundae? His car was full of Star Wars merchandise.

Seattle Post-Intelligencer reporter Casey McNerthney then goes on to make the obligatory living-in-his-parent’s basement jokes, but I can’t say I blame him in this case. Is anything on eBay really worth jail time? Really?

The lesson here, geeklings: Don’t bid and drive. Or at least clean out your car before you do, lest you get publicly mocked on the internet.

“Tiberius,” in honor of James Kirk’s middle name; “Pon Far,” touted as the Klingon version of “Passion”; and “Red Shirt,” named after the poor, red-shirted souls who never survive the episode.

A Red Shirt fragance, because there’s nothing quite like the smell of fail in the morning, huh? (And pon farr is Vulcan, not Klingon.) They’re not the first media property to branch out: Twilight did get there (and sued!) first. Still, Trek does seem like a reach.

Of course, should it be successful as more than an internet laughingstock and Lucasfilm chose to peruse this new market for Star Wars, there is really only one possible choice for a theme.

There is no Christian Bale fan fiction here. We like him and all, but not that much. ClubJade.net might come up in Google for it (okay, I can’t find it, but I guess someone did) but all our fanfic is old and about the fictional people of Star Wars.

Facepalm du jour: Woolworths in the U.K. is requiring that people must be 18 or old to purchase a cheap plastic lightsaber, because it might be mistake for a gun. Meanwhile, I bet anyone can go into the hardware section and buy a working flashlight fully capable of braining a full-grown man.