Can you as a woman have it all?

“A mother is the light of the house; if the light is out, everybody else is down.” – Elizabeth Nel, my mother.

I think my mother used to motivate herself with those words when she had “off days”. It’s something she used to tell me, but I never really paid attention to it …until I became a mother myself.

Let me tell you, I’ve always thought “I’ll never be as good a mom like my mother has been”. Last week though during the #SistaHoodHour Twitter chat, someone told me: “You’re the best mom for your kids.” Lit statement hey.

It made me realise that even though I won’t be as good as my mother, I will be different, unique and the best for my child. Maybe my child will feel the same about me as I do about my mother – I hope so!

Okay, so background:Phumeza Mzaidume, founder of the #SistaHoodHour and I met at a content creators workshop organised by travel blogger Katchie Nzama in February 2017. Katchie is also known as The Solo Wandera. Phumeza and I didn’t really speak at the event but later I checked out her Twitter timeline and found she was pretty LIT. [Okay, I’m going to stop using that word now.]

She in the public relations industry and is the founder of the Twitter chat #SistaHoodHour which takes place on Wednesdays during lunch time [13:00 to 14:00]. The chat is centered around women’s issues and us connecting with each other – in other words, promoting sisterhood.

So on Wednesday 5 July 2017 the topic of the day was “Can we as women have it all?” I’ve never even considered this. Who am I to have it all? My house isn’t even being spring cleaned on a daily basis – I would rather cook, take care of my child and husband and my sanity than add spring cleaning to that list. It’s just too much for me.

I view people who “have it all” as those who look super fit, smartly dressed and having having a ball on their social media timelines – like all the time. The successful businesswomen… So how I can I even think about “do I have it all?” I can’t even afford to buy a pair of boot right now.

The fact that my mother told me “a mother is the light of the house” made me want to live intentionally. I intentionally want to be a happy person in front of my child. In order for me to be happy, I have to take care of myself and empower myself.

In the last few months I have been watching webinars and listening to podcasts to learn about things like content marketing. Learning this, knowing more about the subject than my peers and teaching others about what I have learned, makes me feel confident. It makes me happy to share my knowledge.

Your post puts so much in perspective! I definitely think that the word “all” is so subjective and fluid. In my younger years, my idea of “all” meant having the right clothes and physique, significant other, material wealth, a successful career, and a robust social life. Now, it means having time for my family, time to sleep, a meaningful and fulfilling career, a cozy home, and having enough money to not have to worry about my next meal.

This was a really good post. It’s funny how the pursuit to having it all sometimes leads to being more miserable than before. My grandma told me that for a happy life we count our blessings and work hard. <3 xo. Thank you for sharing.