(I am in the middle of a closing shift. It’s already been a long day and I’m exhausted, but it’s the day before Easter and I’m trying to be as cheerful and accommodating as possible. A man comes up to my register with a large transaction, including three fairly expensive dresses; one is half off, but the other two are full price, and different styles and colors. This happens as the receipt is printing.)

Customer: (on his phone) Uh, Miss, my wife says these two dresses are supposed to be fifty percent off.

Me: (inwardly I am groaning, because the transaction is already complete and I think I know what’s going on, but I ask for a price check anyway) No, sir, these prices are correct. Those dresses are full price.

Customer: Then how come this one is half off?

Me: It’s a different style and brand than the other two, so it’s on a different sale.

Customer: My wife says that when she put these on hold last night, they were half price. You guys didn’t even keep the hold, I had to find them all again myself!

Me: (it is clear the customer is becoming agitated, but at this point I am feeling sorry for his wife because it seems like he is directing his anger at her) Oh, I think that might be because they were on our Power Hour special, which ended at 1 this afternoon.

Customer: My wife was told that the sale would be good today.

Me: Well, it was. But it was the power hour. I apologize if the associate she talked with didn’t make that clear, but-

Me: Ok, I am sorry about that. Unfortunately, the transaction was already completed and I can’t process returns at the register, but if you’ll just go back to Customer Service, they’ll-

Customer: (now visibly angry) Whatever, we’re keeping this f****** dresses! (ends his phone call) I hope you have a f***** up night! (grabs the dresses and receipt and storms out of the store)

(I am frozen for several moments, but the customer isn’t even out of the building before my face crumples and I start to cry. It is late and I am tired and not at all emotionally ready to handle being treated like that)

Next customer in line: Why, if I was ten years younger, I’d punch that sucker in the mouth!

(My manager sent me to my break then. Later I find out that the wife called back, and evidently my manager found the hold itself at customer service. I still don’t know what that customer’s deal was, let alone where he’d been looking for the hold!)

(I’m a customer in this story, though I am currently a retail associate at a department store and have been there for many years. It is nearly 2:30in the morning, and I am with a group of my friends at [Well Known Diner], and we have our checks in hand and are in the process of cashing out individually. A customer (who is clearly quite stoned) walks up, cuts right through the middle of us, and interrupts the cashier who was about to take my check and cash me out.)

Stoned Customer: Can I get a [very cheap meal platter] only with [substitution] instead?

Cashier #1: Hang on. *he calls to one of his coworkers to come over and take the guy’s order, as he is in the cash out process and can’t easily ring someone else up*

Cashier #2: What can I get you? *the customer repeats his request* Oh, actually we don’t make substitutions for any of our [low-priced meals].

Stoned Customer: *he takes a moment to respond, and when he does his speech is slow and just short of slurred; he is also blocking the card reader machine I need to get to, and doesn’t seem to notice my attempts to get to it* I’ve never had a problem with you people doing this before.

Cashier #1: *picks up a menu* He’s right, actually. See, it says right here that ‘no substitutions are allowed’.

Cashier #2: Yeah, I don’t know how they do it at [other diners in the franchise] but we can’t do that.

Stoned Customer: But I never had a problem getting this before, why can’t you just give me [substitution]?

Cashier #1: Because we can’t, it’s not allowed. We can give you [other meal at a slightly higher price] as it’s a ‘build your own’, but we can’t make a substitution on this one.

Stoned Customer: I don’t understand. All I want is this meal with [substitution], why is this so hard? I’ve never had a problem before.

(the conversation goes on for another minute in a similarly circular fashion, with both cashiers telling him they can’t make substitutions, and him insisting he’s never had a problem. finally, something occurs to me, and i speak up.)

Me: You know, they obviously just can’t make substitutions here, it’s that simple. So if you want your [substitution], you’d better just go some place else.

Stoner Customer: *stares hard at me without blinking for several seconds; i’m almost worried he’s about to get violent, when he turns away, mumbling* Fine, I guess I will then.

Cashier #2: Thank you so much, I couldn’t say anything but I’m so glad you did.

Cashier #1: That was f***ing AWESOME. *gives me a high five and my friends, who witnessed the exchange, follow suit*

Me: *laughing* God, that was such a rush. I could NEVER do that at my job, but I suddenly realized I’m not at work! I don’t f***ing work here, I can say whatever the h*** I want! That felt so damn good!