Android is the sex OS

iPhones carry the Jobsian puritan ethic – no bikinis and especially what’s underneath them. What if a child sees [and not, by the way, what if a child is working for you at a Shenzhen plant]!? Android phones are the right OS for the discerning pervert, and everyone knows there are more perverts than puritans in this world. Heck, puritans are just closet perverts anyway.

There’s a special kind of app store you can download for Android, though not through the official Android Market. You’ve got to browse through the seedier territory of the web to find it. It’s called Mikandi and it’s boasting what we think is the first ever live sex chat app for Android.

It sends feeds from a British Brothe– err, sex chat business. It’s free to download and free to view profiles which show a video loop of the girls which is surprisingly lag-free. Then you can have a “one on one chat” for the low low price of just £2.00 per minute.

Jason Perlow’s Tech Broiler blog over on ZDNet made an interesting point late last year with a post titled “Will the adult industry drive Android adoption?” We can’t help but think, er, “no”.

While sexy apps are banned from Apple’s walled garden of puritan delights, browsers are still perfectly capable of bringing up all the sort of filth Apple fans definitely do not look at because they have families and stuff.

It’s worth considering the security angle, too – Mikandi is a completely independent piece of software that runs through Android and may soon work with RIM and Windows Mobile. But with it comes a long list of T&C’s that basically says, if you download anything dodgy through us, it’s your own fault, you sick pervert. With many apps requesting private information — billing, network status, essentially your entire phone — we think you’d be a desperate kind of geek to bother.

Not to mention a total mug for paying £2.00 a minute. That’s only slightly less money than you’d pay for a Crazy Frog ringtone at Jamster.

Still, we’re serious investigative journalists at TechEye so we’ve had a look so you don’t have to. We checked out Sex Chat Live and it looks seedy and rubbish. The women all have an air of sadness about them – their faces are crying out: “I can’t believe this is what my Drama degree came to” – and the app seems misleading anyway. There’s a huge CHAT NOW FOR JUST TWO QUID button on every page whether they’re online or not.

We guess Jobs has a point. These apps look seedy and dodgy, but then we suppose that’s the market they’re going for. TechEye recommends simply “going outside” and “meeting people” instead. There’s not an app for that just yet and we suspect that is what makes it a good idea.