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Google Chrome vs Internet Explorer 9

I am very adverse to change. I am an old man in a 26 year old body. I have been using Internet Explorer as my default browser since I started using computers. From the days of Windows 95 to the latest beta candidate for Internet Explorer 9, I've been Microsoft's slave.

When IE9's beta was first released, I downloaded it immediately. It was sleek, fast, and easy on the eyes. It took some of the best elements from other browsers, like Chrome's popular pages appearing when you opened a new tab. The entire UI was cleaned up and simplified, making browsing a dream. I began using it at work first, and it was a wonderful first date. But then, I brought IE9 home and things got ugly.

I said to IE9, "C'mon baby, let's get you into something more comfortable." as I installed the browser on my personal machine. With a lecherous smile, I fired the browser up. I took it through a few test paces, checking my email, browsing a few of my favorite sites. It handled like a dream, moving to the rhythm of my keystrokes. Then it was time to get down and dirty with my new browser. I logged into Blogger and took a look at my page. But something was wrong, it was like I was looking at my page as a guest. I couldn't see any of my tools. In fact, at the top right of the page, there was a link saying "Sign in". What the fuck, IE9!? I took a step back and told myself, it's just a beta. They still need to work the kinks out. We'd take this nice and slow and get to know each other.

Many months later, we have the release candidate for IE9. It's due to be officially released tomorrow. I still have the same issues while working with Blogger and more. I added a Twitter stream to the page, and IE9 started to become controlling. It wouldn't display my Twitter feed or Xbox Live player card. "I know you're not trying to cross stream services with me!" it seemed to say. So I did what any man would do at this point. I smacked the bitch and disabled XSS filtering. Suddenly my Blogger page displayed the Twitter feed and player card. But I still had to view my page as a guest. And as an act of revenge, IE9 decided to block my log in attempts with Microsoft sites. No longer could I log in to my Windows mail account or even xbox.com. I even went so far as to restore the browser to default, essentially reseting the relationship. This did nothing, as I had flipped a bitch switch from which there was no return.

I loved IE, and the recent face lift made me love IE9 all over again. But the new side to IE is spiteful and mean spirited. I had put up with the abuse for months now. I had to get out and find a browser that would be gentle and take care of my needs. After months of avoiding her calls, I finally went away for the weekend with Google Chrome. Chrome may not be as pretty as IE9, but deep down she has a heart of gold. I come home, and she's waiting for me with a smile on her face, ready to take me wherever I please. And she does this quickly without any of the hangups IE9 had. As a bonus, Chrome loves to play with toys. Some, she even brought along, like the spell checker. Now, I don't want to rush things, but I believe that Chrome might be the one for me. I just have to make sure that she's in it for the right reasons. I'd hate to devote myself to one browser and find out she's only with me to mine my data or something.