I’m kind of an idiot, so when I hear “Les Mis,” my first thought is of a porn parody about a straight-laced librarian called “Lays Ms.,” or possibly “Lezz Ms.” But apparently it’s a famous novel by Victor Hugo! Which became a famous play! And now that play is a movie! What a world. Directed by The King’s Speech‘s Tom Hooper, Les Miserables stars Anne Hathaway, Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Eddie Redmayne, and supposedly Sacha Baron Cohen, though he’s nowhere to be found in the trailer. Anyway, I’m torn on this one, because while I love few things so much as period pieces with cannons and ships, I mostly hate musicals. As a general rule, I don’t want to watch people sing, unless the people are pirates, and the song is about rum and loose women.

I predict this will become the year’s second most critically-acclaimed movie musical, behind Adam Shankman’s Rock of Ages.

Opens February 8th.

Russell Crowe plays General Jean Poutine, credited for being the first man to eat french fries with gravy. He also designed his own collar, featuring a bundle of delicious sage.
Eddie Redmayne really doesn’t look like an “Eddie Redmayne.” He seems more like a “Cornelius Van Der Sloot,” or a “Reginald Hobblebottom.”
“I would’ve tugged that rope way less gay.” -Glenn Danzig.
Look at those pupils! I’m pretty sure this chick’s on ecstasy. I bet she’s asking if she can touch that guy’s hair.
Oh quit your crying, the queen needs merkins. This is a great honor.

As a general rule, I don’t want to watch people sing, unless they’re Lannister henchmen, accompanied by a former member of the delightful 90s Britpop duo, Robson & Jerome, and are singing about Lord Tywin’s famous victory over the rebellious Reynes of Castamere. (*wedgies himself*)