Build Strengths That Complement Your Weaknesses

We all have strengths that simultaneously work for us and against us. For example, you may be detail-oriented in a way that causes you to spend too much time checking others’ work. Or you may ask questions that are important — but so incisive that they intimidate people. In these cases, the answer isn’t to play down the strength or not use it. (If you do, you might lose its benefits.) Instead, build a complementary skill that compensates for the strength’s downside. For example, if you tend to ask incisive questions, you can balance that out by increasing your warmth — maybe by acknowledging the speaker’s insights before asking your questions. Or you could thank the person for bringing the topic to your attention, or add a few words of support. On the flip side, if you’re so friendly and supportive that you don’t sufficiently challenge people’s thinking, push yourself to ask more difficult questions — without losing your natural friendliness.