Wellness Reinterpreted.

Airing My Dirty Laundry {& other quips that tell my love story}

Writing in a blog is a release: like exposing yourself to the entire world, revealing what usually remains hidden underneath. A lot of people in the cyber world don’t like blogs, for the same reasons people don’t like Twitter: Why do you think people care what you think? Do you consider your universe that important as to broadcast your thoughts into cyberspace? And I’m sure there are more reasons out there for not liking them. But, I don’t think blog authors (or “Tweeters”…I guess I’ll include you guys) write for the sake of pushing their ideas onto others, nor do I think they blog what they view to be an “elite” opinion. I think bloggers blog –and Tweeters tweet– to expand the realm of thoughts, ideas, and ponderings circulating through our cyber universe. So the question of, Then why don’t you just keep a journal? becomes irrelevant. Because, although I am writing for me, I’m also blogging with hopes that I’m contributing something (a unique perspective, challenging opinion, or just weird, funny story) to the cyber world: something different than what’s already out there, that will actually contribute to people’s thoughts, and not just build upon the already-existing massive media mountain our times have created.

Now onto the good stuff…

I’ve written three different blog posts on my experience being in love –and have published none.

I felt something with someone for the first time, and don’t really know how to put into words the experience, nor how it ended. I’ve been having those days recently where you’re sitting by yourself, just staring out at the world around you, and so inside your own head that you’re oblivious to everything else. I’m sure I’d make a great candidate to fulfill some role in a Nicholas Sparks movie: a young, 20-something-year-old female, sitting at a café in a foreign country, staring out at the passing pedestrians with misty, perplexed eyes, wondering about her former latin love.

The experience really opened me up to a lot more emotions then I’ve been in touch with before. Simply put, I thought couples were stupid –now, I don’t. Love exists. I get it. And although I’ve tried hundreds of times to write down my emotions –even just for myself– I can’t figure out how to put them into words. So to convey this big big BIG part of my life, I’ve resorted to a collection of quotes {all posted below} to help express what I have to say and thus, air my dirty laundry. Cuz this is all a part of the journey of leaving my comfortable life, traveling South America, falling in love with people and places, and finding myself. And I’m ready to move on and keep experiencing more …but first it helps to completely wring out your other emotions first.

There ain’t no way you can hold onto something that wants to go, you understand? You can only love what you got while you got it. ~Kate DiCamillo, Because of Winn-Dixie

So we’ll just let things take their course, and never be sorry. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Benediction

Most days I wish I never met you because then I could sleep at night and I wouldn’t have to walk around with the knowledge there was someone like you out there. ~ Good Will Hunting

Do you ever think about all the people who you might have fallen in love with if only you’d taken a different way home or stood a little longer in the bread aisle at the supermarket? All the people who might have been an integral part of your life but instead you’ll never know them. The unimaginable impact that our mundane choices have on our lives really gets to me. Think of how many times I might have died if I’d made different choices. Maybe I’d be homeless. Maybe I’d be famous. Maybe I’d be rich. Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed by the impact of my choices that I can’t choose anything at all because I’m afraid today will be the day that I make the choice that changes everything. ~Anon.

You’ll ache. And you’re going to love it. It will crush you. And you’re still going to love all of it. Doesn’t it sound lovely beyond belief ~Ernest Hemingway, from The Garden of Eden

What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything. ~Pedro Arrupe

We’re not the same person we were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago. We’re constantly changing. Experiences don’t stop. That’s life. ~Anon

The great love is gone. There are still little loves – friend to friend, brother to sister, student to teacher. Will you deny yourself comfort at the hearthfire of a cottage because you may no longer sit by the fireplace of a palace? Will you deny yourself to those who reach out to you in hopes of warming themselves at your hearthfire? ~Mercedes Lackey, Magic’s Pawn

I keep thinking you already know. I keep thinking I’ve sent you letters that were only ever written in my mind. ~Anon

I know this feeling. I was a cynic too and used to wonder how in the world these couples could go on as if nothing in the world existed. I mean, sure, you meet someone you’re compatible with and you make it work, it’s hard work. There’s no such thing as magic, right? It’s just something that science will eventually find an explanation for. What a dull way to think of things and I was that person till earlier this year when I felt something for someone too. There’s no going back now for you huh?