I just had to put some pictures up here for you all to see! Ben is growing bunches and doing so much!

He makes a cute little snorty sound (similar to Stacy's laugh), looks like he's smiling, is already practicing standing, has grown man sounding poots, and has developed the cutest rolls! Also, he seems to enjoy watching TV (hmmmm...where did he get that from?), stretches his arms out and wiggles his wrists, and no longer likes to sleep in his pack-n-play!

Friday, November 7, 2008

While, exhausted, we are all still alive and well! Mommy, Daddy and baby are still trying to figure out how this whole "parenthood" thing works - but we're slowly, but surely, figuring things out. We're taking things day by day, and sometimes hour by hour.

It's amazing how much you can be in love with someone you've only known for seconds, but it's true. As soon as they hand you that baby, it's love at first sight. What they don't tell you about is the worry and anxiety - how you just want to make sure he's happy and healthy at all times. How it breaks your heart to hear him cry for just a second - even when you know he's fine. And how it's hard to sleep at all because you won't be able to watch him if you're sleeping.

James and I are just so amazed that we made this little precious boy. He is so wonderful - healthy, happy, sweet, good-natured and adorable. Every minute with him is just so worth it all. The horrible labor and delivery, the slow and painful recovery, the sleepless nights and the anxiety - it's all worth it just to look at his face.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Ok, well-I first must say that I am so thrilled that little Ben waited until I was in the vicinity to make his appearance! Having been at the hospital with Stacy from the beginning-I cannot put into words how amazing she was. She was in pain, having contractions, sleep deprived, and famished-but managed to (bitch!) look beautiful, be polite to each nurse and person who entered her room, and be so brave!!

After many, many, many hours of contractions and waiting, she was given the "ok" to start pushing! I won't spill the beans about how long it took or what she went through, but I will tell you that it was so worth it! Ben is the cutest kid I've ever seen-and so sweet! He makes the cutest faces (even the little "elvis face" that Stacy made when she was a baby)! He is the perfect combination of James and Stacy--and I cannot wait to see him grow up! (Although....I don't really want him to ever get any bigger)! :)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

So, I went to vote today. The polls opened at 10:00 a.m., so I got in line at 9:15 a.m. After standing in line for 2.5 hours, I couldn't take it anymore but was also not willing to miss my chance to vote for my man Obama. So the really nice people standing around me were very adamant that I should talk to an elections board member and get to go to the front of the line, or at least get to sit inside until my turn. In fact, a sweet man went with me to find an official. You would not believe how common decency is just dead in America. No one cared that I was over 40 weeks pregnant, swollen, and having Braxton Hicks contractions. Below is my blackberry conversation with my friend, Brooke, after the debacle. I'm still so pissed!

Stacy: You will not believe how f*ng rude people are in voting!Stacy: I have been standing here 2.5 hours and the nice folks around me are like "they need to let you vote and not stand in line!"Stacy: And the election board people are like - you're not disabled, so you can't go to the front of lineStacy: I'm like "can I sit inside and then just vote when my space comes up"Stacy: And they're like "is someone standing in your place?"Brooke: Omg - I'm so sorry!!Brooke: what?! Seriously? That is ridiculous!!Stacy: Uh, no - but the people I was with are cool with me sitting until they come upStacy: And they are "letting" me do that...but they're not happy about it.Stacy: And people in line in front of me wouldn't let me passStacy: They were like "she's just using that as an excuse!" and "It ain't my problem."Stacy: I am so pissed, its all I can do not to cry and leave...but I have to vote!Brooke: Aw honey I'm sooo sorry. I can't believe how rude people are either. Do u want me to come up there?Stacy: No. I'm gonna stick it out. But I am calling the elections board to complain when I get home.Brooke: I can stand w/ u or cause a sceneStacy: No, its fineBrooke: U absolutely should!Stacy: I am sitting now. Waiting till my part of line comes up, and then I can get back in line to vote.Brooke: Any idea how much longer its suppose to take?Stacy: Like 45 minutesBrooke: R u sure u don't need anything - a snack, some thing to drink?I can get there in ab 15 min.Stacy: No. I'm fine. Serves them right if I pass outBrooke: Yeah but that shouldn't even be an issue bc they should let u go to the front! Its just ridiculous and in inexcusable.Stacy: Yeah, well they are doing the same thing to the elderlyBrooke: Well I'm calling the board of elections too!Stacy: Thanks!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Overall, I am relieved to know that I'm not going to be pregnant another 2 weeks and that Ben will be here sooner rather than later. But, I am starting to get a little anxious and the questions are starting to race in my head.

How much will contractions hurt? How long will I have to labor? Am I going to be a whiny wimp or screamy bitch? Will I pass out at my fear of the epidural needle? Will he come out? Will he be healthy and perfect and adorable? What if I have to get a c-section? C-sections freak me out! Will James pass out? OMG I'm bringing home a baby this week - are we ready?! Seriously, do we have everything we need? What if my milk doesn't come in? Similac or Enfamil? How much bigger will my boobs get when the milk does come in? Where am I going to find a bra if they get even bigger? How long will it take to get into a routine of some sort? How long will it take to decipher his cries? Am I spoiling him if I pick him up every time he cries? Will I sleep at all in the next few weeks? How much sleep do I really need to function? How long will it take to lose this baby weight? Will I be my pre-pregnancy size ever again? Will I ever want to have sex again?

Thank god for benadryl! No, I'm not doping myself to sleep! I have a legitimate reason. I have prurigo of pregnancy on my legs, arms and hands...and it is itching me like crazy! I want to literally peel my skin off! The doc says it should clear up after the baby is born...fingers crossed!

in my belly! Our visit to the doctor yesterday went well, and will be our final pre-baby visit! Wahoo!

The ultrasound showed a very healthy baby boy (still has the boy parts, whew!) who is a little chubby monkey! They are estimating that he weighs 8 pounds, 14 ounces at this point - with a margin of error +/- 1 pound. So, he's been adding on plenty of chub in the last few weeks. In fact, the tech was quiet amused at his belly, as apparently it's measuring ahead by 2 weeks in size - so he's got a little buddha belly on him. Just to see what I mean, here is a pic of his chubby face - look at those cheeks! Don't you just wanna pinch 'em!

And this is the "Woman, leave me alone because I ain't budging. I'm quite cozy in here!" grumpy face, which he gets from his father.

The doc has decided to opt for an induction since Ben's already such a big boy, who clearly doesn't need to bake anymore. We are to arrive at the hospital on Sunday morning around 10 a.m. and we'll get all hooked up to pitocin and see where it goes. I am currently only at 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced, so I have a lot of laboring to do before this little boy makes his entrance. Apparently they want me to be "mentally" prepared to still have a c-section, as the pitocin may not get me where I need to be to have this baby - and she's a wee-bit concerned at his size versus my pelvis. But, I'm staying positive that we'll get through it and not have to opt for a c-section. Either way, he's coming out, which is more important - as long as we're both healthy and happy, that's all that matters. So think happy, pushy thoughts on Sunday for me!

Still can't put on real shoes anymore, so I love wearing flip-flops now that the weather has changed.

Still need a pedicure (although thanks mom for trying!)

Still getting up 10+ times a night to pee

Gained 0 pounds for 2 weeks, then went and gained 5 pounds from Friday to Wednesday. Go figure.

Still have no idea how "big" this baby boy could be because the doctors enjoy a good mystery

Still trudging to work and trying to earn a dollar

Boobs are still growing. I wonder what comes after 42F? Any guesses? Let's all guess when my boobs will stop growing. It's like a perverted Price Is Right game...don't let the little yoddlers fall off the cliff...guess now!

Still very bitter about having no positive movement towards getting this little baby out of me (although I still love you Benjamin...mommy just doesn't always like you as much.)

So, I go back to the doc on the 30th. You know, 1 day before my official due date. The only highlight is that I get a sonogram, so that'll be neat. Of course that sonogram will help them badly guesstimate the weight of the baby, which could be scary. If I'm dilated at all, then she says she'll strip my membranes. Yeah, that sounds fun and totally not painful at all. However, if I'm not, no worries...we'll go another week and see what happens. It's really so easy-breezy, why on earth would I be upset about the prospect of another 2 weeks. Silly pregnant woman.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Dear Ben-All I have to say, is you already sound exactly like your mother and father. Smart, Witty, full of humor, and still down right stubborn. But, now that you mention decorating, we can make this work out for the both of us. However, I am not sure if your consultation with Joe the plumber was the best move. I might win, and you might just be coming out earlier than you thought!Love,Auntie Tara----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Ben,I found great humor in your statement in regards to you reading more than Palin in utero. I have mentioned moving to Canada as well so I will be more than happy to accompany you when you decide to move.As for remodeling, make sure not to take out any load-bearing walls and you should be ok.Sincerely,Uncle Chris

Auntie Tara,While I appreciate your point of view, I must say that I disagree with your assessment of my being, as you put it, unreasonable. I am sure that we can come to an understanding as to why I think it is a better option to wait things out. In fact, I may just stay in here as long as possible.

First off, I'm a bit wary of the US economy at this time. The housing market has crumbled, unemployment is at its highest, and the financial markets are just completely out of control. When mommy and daddy watch that irritating Mad Money show, I keep hearing him throw around the term "Great Depression 2." This does not make me feel excited about coming into the world. I do not want to wait on a bread line, even if I am in my super-chic stroller.

Then there's this whole impending election. I think at minimum, I should wait until afterwards to come out. I mean, if the McCain/Palin ticket wins, what kind of world am I inheriting? And honestly, while that Palin woman is hot with a capital H, she also scares the bejesus out of me. I mean, I read more than she does and I'm in utero - what's up with that? I think if they win, I may move to Canada with or without my parents.

Auntie Tara, I hope that helps you understand why I'm staying in as long as I can. Plus, and this is a secret between you and me, I had some construction workers and Joe the plumber in early this morning doing some remodeling. The womb is getting a bit tight, so we're thinking of getting rid of one of the kidneys, knocking down some ribs, and cutting out a bit of intestine. These changes will make it a lot more open. I'm going for an airy, New York loft feel. I hear you're good at decorating, and I'd love your opinion on the wallpaper options I've chosen.

Dear Ben, I really think you are being unreasonable. I mean, you can trick or treat next year. I think you are being unreasonable, that you are hell bent on being a halloween baby. I mean really, Do you want your birthday to always be on Halloween??? Then your birthday will always be smashed together with pumpkin cupcakes with orange icing and spider cupcakes. You will never be able to have any other fun birthday colors. Also, your birthday presents will end up being candy from all your friends. It is much better to come now. Auntie Tara would not lie to you.

P.S. Did I also mention that you will NEVER get a birthday party as you will have to trick or treat on EVERY BIRTHDAY- for like years!!!

So imagine you wake up at 3:00 a.m. with what feels like horrible menstrual cramps and lower back pain, you'd think it's labor too, right? Yet again I have been duped by the baby. I stayed up for 4 hours with cramps, back pain, and sore/weak legs! Drinking water didn't help, laying down didn't help, only walking helped. But did those cramps turn into real contractions, no. What is up with that!? Well, apparently Braxton Hicks contractions can get painful and an awful lot like the real thing as you get into this stage. I mean, sure, I love dealing with fake-outs at 3:00 a.m. Do I wake the husband or not? How do I time this if it's just constant pain and pressure? Do I need to poop or throw up? Wait, now I'm hungry. I decided to get up and eat toast and water and just walk around downstairs. Things finally started to subside around 6:30 a.m. and I went back to bed and passed out for a few hours. Now I am late for work, still no baby, and the normal Braxton Hicks are back. All I have to say is that I better be dilated when I go to the doctor on Wednesday. If I'm still at 0 centimeters, I am going to scream (rather than cry, which is what I did last week).

Monday, October 13, 2008

In case you were thinking, where is she? Did she go into labor? NO! I'm still pregnant and counting down the days. Everyone keeps saying "It'll fly by..." and I'd like to tell those people to bite me. These last 18 days are horrible. I'm miserable and uncomfortable, and I'm ready for this baby to make his appearance.

Let's all pray that the full moon tomorrow night makes a difference...

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

So we had our first round of fake-out contractions yesterday. What fun! Basically I was having Braxton-Hicks contractions all day at work, just lots of pressure, no biggie. So while driving home from work and drinking tons of water, all of a sudden my back started to ache along with the contractions and I started feeling nauseous. Then Mr. Benjamin starts ramming his head on my pelvic bone with tons of pressure, so needless to say I called James and made him come home from work. While I was 95% sure it was still just Braxton-Hicks, I also didn't want to be home alone. It's always nicer to suffer with someone else present who can fetch things for you! :)

James came home and made sure I was in bed, on my left side, drinking tons of water. After about a half hour they subsided. Then after dinner, they started back up. No increase in pressure or pain or consistency - so just a big bunch of fakers! James really can't stand that - he's all "WTF? What's this fake crap. How am I supposed to know when it's real?" He's such a worry-wart...so I sat him down with the book from our prepared labor class and made him re-read the differences between false labor and real labor. He's still not happy about the fact that we could do this false labor crap a few more times before the real thing. And hello, neither am I. It's really not fun - totally uncomfortable! Needless to say I didn't get much sleep last night.

So here's hoping lots of water keeps me away from the fake-outs again today.

Here's a pic of me at 36 weeks, and James pointing in fear at my belly.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Whoo-hoo, 25 days people! Are you freaking out yet? I'm so ready to get this shin-dig started! While I'm not particularly worried or nervous about labor, I am getting anxious about what happens after the baby is here. Am I ready to be a mother? Will I be a good mother? Will I mess it up within the first week? Can I handle it? I'm assuming I'll be asking myself these questions for the rest of Benjamin's life.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Flashback to the early 90's anyone? So James and I were cleaning out our closet this weekend in an attempt to make more storage room and get organized for baby. We made some headway, but there is still much more to be done! But I digress from the point of this post! While cleaning out our closet (which does 'cleaning out the closet' sound like it should be a euphemism for something to anyone else?) - anywho, he found my old Sony walkman...like tape player walkman! After mocking me for not having a CD walkman in college, I grabbed it to see if it even still worked. And to my ears' delight, it did - and there was the debut Weezer album (circa 1994). Can I just tell you how I sat in the closet with my walkman blasting Weezer and flashing back to high school? I mean, it just immediately transported me back to my old red Toyota Celica and driving down to my best friend Brandi's house with the Weezer blasting. God, I loved that tape! I still know all the words.

*Sigh* Memories.

Special call to Miss Breezy and CindyLooHoo - we are so getting the band back together ladies! Get to practicing!

The Charlotte shower this past weekend was great fun! It was so good to see so many of my friends and co-workers, some of whom I hadn't seen in over a year! There was food a plenty (yumm, pigs in a blanket!), and gifts galore. I'm sort of sad to see all the parties end. Who doesn't love parties and baby gifts?! But, I will get over it (selfish moment!) - especially when Mr. Benjamin arrives! Here is my favorite picture from the shower - Miss Mackenna Grace (and her lovely mommy Jennifer!). I can't believe she's already 2 months old - time flies!

Special thanks to Helene for letting us invade her home; Miss Brooke for entertaining us all with her gymnastic and dance abilities; Breezy for the awesome dessert (even with everything you had going on!); and, Brooke & Tara for organizing it all so seamlessly!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I am so f*ing tired. Seriously, tired. Need toothpicks for my eyelids, tired. I'm also getting the 3rd trimester "cold" that is apparently common as the baby sucks all the nutrients from your marrow. I'm so over being preggo. Ready for labor. Bring on the labor.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

There are only 7 weeks left folks, less than 50 days until B-Day! Can you believe it? I can't believe it! I don't think I'll believe any of it until I'm actually in the hospital in labor and facing down my fear of the epidural needle.

J and I have been loading up on the baby classes in the last few weeks - prepared childbirth, infant cpr, bringing home baby, and daddy bootcamp. We still have the pediatrician visit next week, the carseat safety class, and I'm wondering if I should take the breastfeeding class. The nurses suggest it, but really there are lactation specialists at the hospital so can't I just monopolize their expertise while I'm there after delivery? I mean, how do I learn to breastfeed when the baby is still in my belly? I mean, sticking a fake baby up to my nipple really isn't teaching me anything. (Not that that's what they do necessarily, I'm just saying...)

On a random note, I went to buy a new bra today because my boobs are growing (again). I just want to get one to last me these next few weeks, and then I'll buy nursing bras. Well, the stupid maternity store I went to tonight didn't have a size big enough for me. What's up with that? Do they assume everyone was small-breasted when they got preggers? I mean, we full-chested women get preggo too!

Luckily I have more exciting things to think about like the baby shower this weekend, so I don't have time to start really freaking out yet. It should be fun, and I'm sure there'll be yummy food! I got a little preview this week, when my office mates took me out to lunch for a mini-shower since they can't come to the one this weekend. However, it was the rainiest day ever and we all got drenched to the bone. Oh well, we still went into the fancy restaurant and ate lunch in our sopping wet states. Of course it stopped pouring like 15 minutes after we got seated, but then started drizzling when we were ready to leave. Go figure! I got some great gifts, and they made this adorable basket full of stuff I'll need - very cute, and a great basket!

Monday, September 8, 2008

I meant to post this last week, but forgot - preggo brain anyone? So, I had my first belly blessing last week. "Belly blessing? What is this some new-age, hippie shit?" No. It was a belly blessing from a totally random Russian woman who came in to our office to get some advertising information. While I was helping her, she looked at me and said "I hope you don't mind, but I just have to do this." And then she proceeded to pull out a gold dollar coin and make the mark of the cross on my belly, and then place her hand on my belly and say a prayer in her native language. Typically I would have found this totally creepy, but honestly it was so well-meant and sweet - especially after I learned more about her background (I think she was originally from what is now Georgia) - that I really found it endearing. I'm saving the coin for Ben's baby book.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Okay, I am cracking myself up here, so I thought I'd share. I just had my first belly-to-body issue. I was going to look out on the porch to make sure the lights were on before I locked up and headed to bed, and I totally misjudged how big my belly is and how close I was to the door. Needless to say I belly bumped the door, and I gotta admit it hurt a little. Anyway, it cracked me up and Nixon is looking at me like I'm crazy for standing at the front door laughing. But seriously, it reminded me of when people accidentally walk into a glass door...totally that "hunh?" reaction. Hehe...

My belly has definitely shifted from the sides to an all-in-front position. Let's hope I can find the ever-expanding waistline just as funny in the next few weeks, rather than feeling like a hippo (which is honestly what I'm feeling like, especially at night when I'm trying to get out of bed to run to the bathroom).

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

It's been a busy few weeks here at the "H" household. We had our first baby shower on August 23rd in my hometown. My mom and sis did such a great job, and it was so much fun! The food was yummy - the cake alone probably added 5 lbs to my frame, oh well! We actually had a huge turn-out of family and friends, so it was great to see everyone that I hadn't seen in forever! And the gifts - so many gifts, a mountain of gifts! I had the most fun opening gifts, not only because they are baby gifts (hello, super cute!), but also because our friend's 5-year-old daughter, Brooke, was my little assistant. She brought the gifts to me, helped me determine who they were from, and then we opened them together. She had such funny kid-like-yet-adult comments for everything, it just had me in stitches. To hear a 5-year old say, "Oh, you have to feel this fleece, it's so soft. The baby will love this!" is just a hoot! I love that kid! :) Here's a few of my favorite pictures from the party...and there were tons, which are all up on Ben's site...

Hello AF girls (shout out to Jen who's missing)...

My dad, me and my "tricycle". Yes, I know it's not technically a tricycle! When I was little, I loved this tricycle and rode it all the time! Until one time I left it out in the field and it sorta got run over by the tractor. Sadness! I thought it was trashed, but my dad had saved it all these years and he repaired it, repainted it, and gifted it to me for little Ben. How great is my daddy?

My parents came up this weekend to help us finish up the baby's room, and put all the gifts away. We washed all the baby clothes, finally made up the crib, hung the mobile, and organized...and we stuffed most of the gifts in the closet because I just don't want to have them out and about for the cat to lounge in until Ben gets here. I just know if I set up the pack-n-play that Nixon will be living in it and it will be covered in fur! Oh, Nixon...when will you learn that you are no longer the numero uno in this house. Here's a glimpse into Ben's Crib...all the updated room pics are on his baby site.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

"There ain't no GD in me, there ain't no GD in me! There may be GD in some of you preggos, but there ain't no GD in me! WHEE!"

I got the call today from the doc, and I am clear! No gestational diabetes here! Whew, what a load off of my mind. I'm in such a good mood, I shall share my ever burgeoning belly with you....me at 30 weeks!

Okay, so it is really hard to hold a camera, pull your dress tight, and try to take a decent self-belly portrait.

Also, where the hell did my toes go? I made my husband put lotion on my whitey, white legs this morning because I was too lazy (and too round) to bend down and do it well without sitting...and I was just in a hurry. Plus it was kinda funny to make him lather my legs up. Hee-hee.

PS - I totally riffed that song from the Advantage fleas & ticks commercial. So, if you re-read the intro in that tune, it's totally funny. And if not, hello, those singing puppies are so cute!

Monday, August 18, 2008

You know how a few months ago, I was all "kick me dammit"...remember? Okay, so I'm over that. This little boy is either playing soccer in there or training for Riverdance 2018. The kicking to my ribs and my lower abdomen is constant. The only time he doesn't kick is when I say "Hey, come watch this!" to anyone that may be around. If there's a possible audience, then he's as silent as a mouse. But if mommy needs to sleep, eat, work, drive, etc....it's prime kicking time. I know I have 10.5 more weeks to go, but I really just don't know how I can fit any more baby in this belly. I feel so full already, and like my son is part octopus. God help me when he really starts adding on the weight. It's just so crazy that a baby is in there, and my organs are all crammed into the corners as if they are unimportant. I wonder if I'll feel "empty" when he's out?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Some of you may have noticed my newer section to the right called "New Kids on the Blog." Yes, witty, I know. How do I come up with such titles?! It's a link to my friends' baby sites - you can see their baby photos, pregnancy updates, journal entries, and more!

And, I am finally getting around to building one for our son. Who, if I haven't mentioned it, will be named....drumroll please....BENJAMIN EVERETT. After many, many months of debate, we finally settled it. It's now hand-stitched in at least one item that my Great Aunt Ulla in Denmark is making for the baby, so there's no changing it now!

So, check out the baby sites. It's like a daily dose of cute!

PS - Mine will be updated soon. So far I'm just getting to moving applicable past posts over and old photos over. I will update with new photos of me and the baby room - which is almost complete - this month! :)

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

So I had the big, bad glucose test on Monday for gestational diabetes...and I failed. The docs want you to have 135 mg/dl or less, and my overachieving self was a big ole 175. I have to admit I was really shocked when the nurse told me the number. Absolutely shocked. I was all ready to head home and take a nap, but instead I had to take the walk of shame back to the OB's office. When I arrived, the receptionists were like "You're back? You failed? You get an F for the day!" I guess they thought this type of humor was funny and light-hearted, but it made me crumble inside. I held it together while I sat in the waiting room to see the head nurse, but I felt like I was sitting outside the principal's office about to get a talking to. I swear, I could feel the judgement rolling off of her. I mean, she didn't say anything bad, but she also didn't say anything good either. It just really pissed me off and made me feel like somehow I'm a bad mother already. But then I realized that it wasn't just me waiting to see her, but that 2 other women were waiting too. That's right, all 3 of us "failed" our glucose tests that morning...And that made me feel better because they were all WTF too. After finding out that I have to go back in next week for a torturous 3-hour testing session (ugh, drinking multiple sugary drinks and multiple blood draws = nightmare. Not to mention the crazy carbo-load diet and then 12-hour fast...), I had to pry out of her how often folks fail the first test and pass the second. Her response, "Oh, it's quite common." Well hello, why don't you people lead with that! Why do you let us sit out there and squirm and feel horrible about our mothering skills, when it's "quite common." Bitches.

And yes, I know gestational diabetes isn't really my fault...but you can't help but feel that if I do have it, that somehow along the last 7 months I've done something wrong.Keep your fingers crossed for my 8/19 results as a "pass." I don't want the GD!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

First, I must tell you that I have "Le Freak" by Chic playing in my head right now as I post this. If I could figure out how to add music to a post, or my site, then I'd put it on there so you could all join in. It's a fun little disco song. And, side note, 'freak out' was code for 'fuck off' in the song - so yeah, it makes sense that I like it so much. But I digress....

I am totally freaking out about the baby registry! Well, honestly, I'm freaking out about a lot of "to do" things right now - but the baby registry is top of the list. I am so overwhelmed by all of the stuff that you need for babies. Really, overwhelmed! Have any of you ever been to Babies-R-Us? Going in there still gives me a bit of a panic attack, it's just so much to try and fit into some sort of condensed list of "must haves." I am trying to attack it in my usual rational, list-making way - but then I freak out over the research. I mean, am I just buying stuff off the list that may kill my baby? Shouldn't I research all these items to find out which ones are best for my baby? I've tried to do that for the big items, but then Miss Breezy will email me about bottles - and I'm like "Fuck, I thought bottles were a gimme. I gotta research that too?" Damn you Miss Breezy (just kidding)!

Yes, I could have bigger things to freak out about - and I do. I mean, has anyone seen the news on Wachovia? Yeah, I love having a husband who works there - constant source of worry. And then there's my company, going through it's own downward spiral and continual lay-offs. Oh, and let's not mention that they're getting ready to "roll out" a new compensation plan, which is not for the better (from what I've heard on the rumor mill). And let's not forget my house, which is in disarray and seems to never be on the way to shaping up. Oh, and there's the fact that I'm 6.5 months pregnant and still haven't signed up for any of the birthing classes. So, yeah, should probably get on top of that pretty quickly too.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Here's the thing, when I leave the house in the morning, I generally feel pretty cute. I haven't really freaked out about the weight gain, and I typically think I actually look "little" to be as far along as I am. I look in the mirror and think, my belly is still pretty small to be at 6 months. I mean, I used to be able to stick my belly out like this just for fun.(Remember Beckers all the fun Breezy and I had making fat bellies in front of the dorm mirror...Good times!) But then you see yourself in photos, and it's just totally different. I see the photos and I think "OMG, I am so freakin' huge!" So, yeah, pregnancy really messes with your sense of size and proportion.

I like to call this picture "BooBelly," in which I realize pregnancy has created one big booby-belly monster. But my dad looks cute!

Oh, and I was at 23 weeks then (around 4th of July)...so it's only getting bigger from here on out! Also, all of a sudden my hair has turned to crap. I used to love my hair, but now it's all limp and lifeless. *Sigh* But knock-wood, no crazy skin tags yet.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Hola! I'm alive, just in a funk. Hope everyone had a fun 4th! We played it low-key and hung around the house. We painted the baby's room, so yay! As soon as we assemble the room I'll post pics...maybe I'll even be brave and take the dreaded belly pic.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

To the douche bags that robbed my car Sunday night/Monday morning - you suck! How dare you come on to my property and break into my car! While we're at it, what's up with the trashing of the car? Did you let a wild mongoose loose in there! And hello, you got like 15 Cd's...wahoo for you. Are Cd's even worth anything anymore? Did you earn anything from stealing from me and my neighbor? Seriously, what are you gonna get, like $40? What a profit. I'm sure it was worth the possibility of being caught and jailed.

While I thank you for not causing any permanent damage to my car, I am wishing you nothing but bad vibes for disrupting my idea of safety at my home. I want you to know that while I am a democrat, I am very republican in my view of guns. I am a proud NRA member (unless it's expired, or if it matters that I didn't change my maiden name yet...but you get the point). And I swear upon all that is holy - if you ever come on my property again and I even hear a crackle of my grass, I will shoot first and ask questions later.

And also, I will have you know that the soundtrack for the Sound of Music is a Julie Andrews and Rodgers & Hammerstein classic. I am somewhat offended that you left it behind when you rooted through my music choices. Get some culture, jack-offs!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Can I just whine for a minute? I am so stressed out! They are laying off 11% of our company right now, and that includes sales staff. In fact, it includes like 25 of us. So that's a fun waiting game to deal with...and then I just found out that I'm being shifted from my current team (whom I love) to a new team in a totally different office, which is not close to my home at all. I've been really upset about this, and overly hormonal about it. Honestly, every time I think about it, I cry. The lamest analogy I can think of is it feels like I'm a senior in high school with 4 months to go before graduation, and my parents have just told me we're moving immediately. Yeah, kinda lame, I should be happy to still have a job, but it sucks. Oh, and then we just found out today that they are probably going to be changing our compensation plan as of August (and not for the better, of course). I feel like I'm in the "home stretch" of this pregnancy, and now everything is just totally breaking down at work. The stress of it all is really just pushing me to a breaking point. Obviously I am going to do everything I can to just hang in there for 120 more days, but I can't take this type of maintained stress level for that time period.

Oh, and to top off my day, I got home from work and heard our cat, Nixon, howling upstairs. This typically means that his curiosity got him locked in a room for the day since we close most of our upstairs rooms when we leave the house. And yes, J locked the cat in the guest room today - usually not a big deal. However, I guess Nixon's bladder couldn't handle it today...so he peed all over the bed (not kidding, like 3 separate big spots). I wasn't happy about it, but what can you do. I went to get the sheets, down comforter, and blanket off and I hear a "plop"...yep, he pooped on the bed too. I broke down...I called J and told him "You locked the cat in the room. I'm pregnant. There's poop. It could kill the baby. I'm closing the door, and you're cleaning it when you get home." Nixon has since been crying and sulking all night because mommy was pissed at him and refused to pet or snuggle with him all night. Yes, my cat is not normal and must have our attention at all times. When he doesn't get this, he acts like a petulant 2-year old.

Thanks for letting me piss and moan. The point of my subject line "desserts" was that stressed spelled backwards is "desserts" - and have ya'll tried the Betty Crocker Warm Delights? OH MY GOD - so f*ing good! Seriously, I bought a few to try - and am addicted. You must try them! Today! Go now...run...buy some!

Monday, June 16, 2008

OMG, so I totally forgot the funniest thing from this weekend. After dinner Friday night, we were all driving home from the grocery and my dad and sister were all "you have to see this woman." So, my father proceeds to drive the whole shopping center parking lot to find this woman that we "had to see." Okay, she wasn't hidden, she was standing at a Wachovia in the middle of the shopping center and she was in plain sight near the bushes, not really hiding at all. Well, low and behold, the lady drops her pants and starts peeing against the wall. Totally hilarious and unexpected. Also, I'm pretty sure she had to have peed all over herself because she wasn't squatting, but standing to pee - which is pretty impossible when you're a woman.

PS - My sister and dad wanted us to see this lady because they were in shock at the size of her boobs and how gravity was treating them. Yes, we are a family that mocks random people for a good time on a Friday night. Feel free to judge us.

(Panda Bear feel free to comment on the hilarity of this sighting, since you were there and all...)

Happy belated Father's Day to all the daddies and daddies-to-be out there! We had a good Father's Day weekend here in the CLT...lots of cute onesies, fattening breakfast food, and some wedding dress shopping. An eventful weekend all in all.

My gorgeous sister found the most unique and beautiful wedding dress this weekend for her wedding next summer. I want to post pictures of the dress, but don't know if I'm allowed...since her fiance may possibly glance at this site every once in a blue moon. So, sis, let me know if I can post pics or not. It's such a pretty dress, I feel we should share!

Instead, here are fun onesies given to my wonderful husband. I went with a "things your dad loves, so you must love too" theme.

I must say, I am a very lucky person to have such wonderful men in my life - both my husband and my father. And I'm even more lucky that they will be the role models for my son. I love you both very much!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

We picked up the crib this weekend and ordered the rest of the baby room furniture. It's actually an irritating story. We were in Durham Saturday for Jennifer's baby shower (so fun, by the way!) and rushed home Sunday to get to the Babies-R-Us in time to pick up the crib before closing. It was a zillion degrees and we had to wait forever for them to find the crib in the stock room...and then when they wheel it out, it is huge! I mean, way too big to fit in the Element, let alone if we had an F150 truck. The damn box was 60" x 56" x 12" and 100 pounds. I mean, what are we buying here? Was there no other way to box this sucker? I swear, it's not that big when it's unpackaged. Anywho, the annoying part was when the stock person rolled the crib out to our car she was like "This ain't gonna fit in that car. Why didn't you bring a truck?" Hello, an Element, when emptied out, has a crapload of space. I didn't realize we were bringing home Sputnik. Also, we don't know anyone with a truck except my Dad and he lives over an hour away. Also, I think the crib would have eaten his little truck. When I asked if we could just have it delivered, which I would have scheduled when I ordered it if they had told me how big the damn box was, she was like "We don't do delivery." What freaking store that carries a huge selection of furniture doesn't offer delivery service? Seriously! Instead, they have a "guy" that they refer folks to, but he's not an employee or affiliated with the store at all. So, yeah, somewhat sketchy. However, we were desperate and we called. He was great, and was able to actually pick it up and deliver it the same day for a decent fee. So, we have the crib!

The matching dresser should be here in another 2 weeks, and the armoire will be here in 16 weeks. Yeah, 16 weeks. Crazy! Let's hope it gets here before the baby!

Saturday, June 7, 2008

So imagine it's a gorgeous, albeit overly hot, Friday morning and you are driving with one of your co-workers to a client meeting. You get to said client meeting and what do you see? A fight - yes, a fight. We pulled up to the office and see my client literally in a ghetto screaming fight with one of her customers. Needless to say, I parked the car a bit off from the scene, rolled the window down to listen, and we proceeded to "pretend" to be gathering all of our materials for the meeting so we could totally spy. It was hilarious! Honestly, I thought it was going to degenerate into fisticuffs...which would have been a sight to behold since my client is like 5' and the opponent was looking like an Amazonian in comparison. There was yelling, cursing, hand waving, neck rolling, and threats of "you don't know me," "I'm gonna sue your ass!" and my favorite, "Bring it, bitch!" Ah, what a morning! Somehow it made me feel better just knowing that my clients have whack-a-doo customers too.

After everything calmed down, we proceeded to go in for our meeting. At the beginning of which, my client looks me up and down with an odd scowl and says, "Why do you look so different?" Let me say it was not a friendly, "Damn girl, you look good!" tone. It was a "You look like a 400-lb fatty, what's going on?" kinda tone. To whit I replied, "Well, I'm pregnant, so you probably haven't seen me since I started to show." And then she says, and this takes the cake, "Your BOOBS are HUGE!" Not only does she say it, she says it loudly, and in front of the whole store - men and women alike. I am sure I turned the same shade of red as my cute little wrap dress. Then she says, "How far along are you?" As in, "How far along are you so I can judge if you have gained the appropriate amount of weight or not." I replied, "Almost 5 months" and she says, "Oh, that's it." I guess 5 months met her weight gain to pregnancy ratio?

I mean, I have been feeling really good about my weight gain and comfortable in my size. Hell, even pretty and sexy. So to have some little 5' midget appraise me was really annoying and somewhat unnerving. I have always been sensitive about my breast size. I am a girl with large boobs, always have been. Even at my skinniest of days, my boobs were always large. I am self-conscious about it. I can't stand them, in fact. A lot of people say things about wishing their boobs were larger, but when you are a double-D and then the first trimester of pregnancy makes you a triple-D, it ain't fun. Even before pregnancy and my married bliss weight gain, I was a D. Bras at a D level and higher are rarely cute and sexy. They are always functional. They don't come in pretty little lacy designs, they are all about basic colors and tons of wiring for support. Functional means huge straps, 4 to 6 hooks, and so much coverage that you have to watch the cut of your shirts or you will show off your grandma-like bra. I can't even imagine what's going to happen once my boobs have milk in them. I may actually crush people by accident.

Here's the thing that kills me about pregnancy. Everyone that has children feels entitled to have an opinion about your pregnancy. And it's not just an opinion, it's an expert opinion. From weight gain, to bottles, to exercise, to birth, to child rearing. And while sometimes it's welcome advice, more often than not it's overbearing and intrusive. So before you open your mouth and speak to a pregnant woman, remember this - hormones are a bitch, and I would sure hate to slap your ass.

We found this onesie at a cute shop in ATL when visiting with Aunt Beckers, but it was way over-priced at the boutique. So being the savvy online shopper I am, I found it online and ordered it for $10 less!

"Someday I'll Change the World" courtesy of http://www.tinyrevolutionary.com/:This onesie makes me tear up a bit because it sorta summarizes all the hope you have for your children. Or it could be the pregnancy hormones.

Sorry for the delay in posting, but I had to wait on hubby to scan the photo. It's a bit grainy - sorry - but you can see my baby's little penis. Although J and I like to think that it's not a "little" penis at all, but will be quite a large penis. I want my little man to have all the best! hee-hee

We are both so excited to be having a baby boy, and were hoping that's what the scan would show. My mom and dad went with us to the sonogram appointment, and mom was the first one to see the boy parts. She screamed out "I see a penis! I see a penis!" at the tech, and the tech confirmed. It was a lot of enthusiasm in that little room, and I'm sure the tech was a bit overwhelmed by all of our yelling and talking.

The appointment was like forever long! I totally forgot that they would be scanning the baby for all the developmental milestones - heart, brain, legs, etc. - and having to take pictures of everything to make sure all was in order. The baby was totally laid back during the first 3o minutes of poking and prodding - and was totally sleeping with one hand under his head and his legs crossed. So cute! Everything was perfect, and our little baby is developing 2 weeks ahead of schedule for his legs and arms. So, looks like he'll have freakishly long arms and legs just like his daddy. My biggest worry was his head size, and so far it's just normal. Whew - don't want that one to be developing ahead of schedule. Don't need a big head here!

Oh and side-note: I can't feel the baby kicking because the placenta is sitting in the front position. Basically if you were looking at my belly, it'd be belly button, placenta, baby. The doc said this was totally normal and in fact she was the same way through her pregnancy and didn't feel the baby kick until week 23. So, whew - it is as I suspected. During the sonogram, the baby was moving kicking and punching the placenta. It was quite funny, especially the punching with the super-long arms. J kept saying "Look, he's a future Wii boxing champ!" Ah, we're so athletic! We also got to see baby Lima Bean hiccup, blink, and drink. He looked like a little fish coming up for air when he was drinking. Totally amazing!

So now I'm sorta bummed that this is the last sonogram. No more views of little Lima Bean until he's born. Sadness. You'd think you'd get more than just the 3 sonograms, but apparently not unless needed. So now we'll just have to be imagining him and be thoroughly surprised in October!

Friday, May 23, 2008

One more thing before I head out for my Memorial Day Weekend o' Fun.I had my first baby dream last night. I mean, I've been having crazy, whacked-out dreams for weeks - but none about babies, or in particular, our baby. Most of the dreams have involved me with friends, family, co-workers, and old acquaintances in all kinds of kooky situations. But last night I had a dream with our baby in the starring role. The baby was a boy, loads of blonde hair, big blue eyes and he was huge. People, his head was massive - not scary, doesn't fit your body - but just an overall BIG BABY BOY. And all I could think when I woke up to pee was "Man, that was one super-cute, super-smart baby...He must take after my side. And holy shit, that head. I am so not passing that head through my girl parts - it must have been a C-section." Needless to say it took me awhile to go back to sleep.

Guess who finally scanned the first 2 sonograms?! Yay!The first is of my baby as an eggy-yolk sac. Breakfast anyone? The second is my baby's impression of a squirrel. I think he's pretty darn good, but I could be biased.More unrecognizable baby pictures next week, this time with genitals! Oooh, the anticipation!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

So the baby is at 17 weeks this week, Thursday to be exact. Our next sonogram is on the 28th and we will be finding out the sex of the baby. I am so excited about knowing what our little Lima Bean will be - pink or blue - not to mention to finally be able to decorate and shop for real! However, the last few weeks I have been plagued with worry. Worry that I am sure is perfectly normal for all pregnant crazies out there, which is why I haven't really brought it up.

On May 1st, my last appointment and the beginning of the 14th week, I felt the baby kick. I know, I know, you're saying "Why that's impossible! All the books say 16-20 weeks for first kicks" and I say to you "Bugger off, my baby is an over-achiever!" I also think my baby was annoyed because a few hours earlier the doctor had been all mishy-mashy on my belly and I'm sure it was more irritating for her than I. When I felt the flutter, and it really is like a flutter - literally, like a little butterfly fluttering on the inside of your belly - it made me stop and say "Oh MY GOD" out loud in the car. And then I promptly called Miss Breezy and made her google baby kicking and such. Now, while I am convinced that it was a baby kick - I am freaking out a bit because I haven't felt a thing since then. Nothing but gas bubbles and indigestion. I'm freaking out because now we're at week 17 and my baby has decided to play mute. I am sure everything is fine, and that the baby is probably moving around in there but I'm just not feeling it. However, it has me worried and consumed with all these thoughts of what happened to my baby? Is everything okay? What the hell is going on?

My thoughts are either the baby is sitting very near the placenta, which is cushioning the kicks; Or, this layer of fat on my belly is really insulating! Either way, kick me dammit!

PS - Did anyone else notice how I called the baby a "her" - weird! Especially since I usually call the baby a "him." Does my subconscious know something?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Is anyone else tired of Grey's Anatomy? I am so tired of her weak, whiny woman shtick. "I love him, I don't love him - but I just can't stop thinking, needing, wanting him. I am a better doctor when he loves me, worse when he doesn't." I mean honestly, so weak. I think I would like it more if Kate Walsh (Addison) were back, and Ellen Pompeo (Meredith) were gone. At least Addison was a semi-strong female on the show. Of course, her spin-off show, Private Practice, makes her the "Meredith Grey" of that series. So basically, Shonda Rhimes gives us Doctor Bailey as the only truly strong woman on the show. Christina used to be, but now all of a sudden she's breaking down and pulling a Meredith. I'm so over it.

So, I was at one of my favorite stores in Davidson today, Southern Bella, and I found something new to covet - Glenda Gies bags. Glenda Gies takes these swaths of gorgeous old fabric and turns them into lovely purses, baby bags, etc. Unfortunately, these bags are very pricey. Alas, I shall just covet from afar.

This just in, Ghost Whisperer and Men In Trees were cancelled. I am officially depressed about the 2009 TV line-up. For those of you that know my love of Jennifer Love Hewitt, you will understand my sadness. For those of you that don't - I love her. I think she and I would be best friends if we ever met. Seriously, she's my secret friend-crush.

I am sad. This Friday is the last episode of my beloved Ghost Whisperer. Even worse, I got no last episode of Men In Trees. Stupid television execs.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Shout out to Tammany for the super cute onesie from Austin! I came home today for lunch, and I had a little surprise from the Post Office - how fun! I love the onesie, it's so cute! So thank you missy!

Also, since you're lurking out there reading - leave a comment sometime to say hi!Miss you!Love,S

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Haha, I stole the word from you Tara!! Ha Ha!! :) Okay, back to my blog!

I got this e-vite today for a baby shower - not so odd. Here's the thing, it's from someone who does work at my company and I have talked to her a few times about business stuff, but we're not friends at all - hell, I didn't even know she was pregnant. So weird to get an e-vite from her, also weird because I'm the only person not in her division who was invited. Odd. Even weirder, the e-vite. Read below.

Join us to honor ***and the upcoming birth of baby girl ***!For those of you who can't attend, please "shower" *** with gift cards during the month of May! If your last name begins with A-H, please mail on/around May 12th, I-P, May 17th and Q-Z, May 21st.Although cards are sweet gestures, they are only read once or twice and then put aside. In lieu of a card, consider purchasing an inexpensive children's book to top off your gift. Sign your name along with a message for baby girl ***. They'll treasure it for years to come!***and *** will be in need of many odds and ends, such as diapers (any size), diaper rash ointment, teething rings, bibs, washclothes, lotions,baby wash, small bowls/cups, etc.... A Basket of Joy for the Bundle of Joy will be on display during the shower. Consider bringing along an item or two for the basket! Thank you!Gift card suggestions: Babies R Us, Target, Walmart, Burlington Coat Factory

So, odd right? I mean, so demanding of what I should or should not do as a potential guest. I've never heard of someone telling you what to get if you are unable to attend - I mean hello, it's my choice to attend and shower you with any damn thing. Needless to say, I sent back a flat "no" reply and there will be no gift card coming her way from me. What a shower-zilla!

My baby sis, my little panda bear, is engaged! Crazy, right? I feel so old knowing that my sister is getting married - so grown up! Her boyfriend surprised her with the perfect plan, and I'm so happy he was able to surprise her! She's a hard one to surprise.

He took her to Airlie Gardens in Wilmington under the guise of wanting to use his new camera & tripod. They walked along, enjoying the day and taking photos, when boom - down on one knee and popping the question. This is a photo after it happened - smart thing that timer on a tripod.

And here's the most gorgeous ring that he picked out - so shiny and blingy! Who says a school teacher can't rock a rock?!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I don't know if it's the moodiness of pregnancy or just me, but I'm just so over it. I'm so over people getting on my nerves with their bullshit. I'm so over my stupid job. I'm so over being told one thing and then another. I'm so over all the nagging and none of the praising. I'm just over it. Done. Kaput. I need a break.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Is indecision part of pregnancy? Seriously, sometimes I'm all "must have lasagna or all will perish" and other times it's "must eat, something food-related, what could it be?"Stopped by the grocery tonight in my fog of hunger. I picked up the most random items tonight.

Pickles

Cookie Dough Ice Cream

Frozen Pizza

Chicken Nuggets

Fresh Corn

Mushrooms

Grapes

Nilla Wafers

Cheerios

OJ

Chocolate Silk Milk

Mac-n-Cheese

Peanuts

Cheese Sticks

The list goes on and on, and makes no sense. And let me tell you what my baby wanted for dinner tonight...no seriously, guess!

Beanie Weenies! A small can of beanie freakin' weenies. Eaten cold, out of the can. Yep, my baby is high class fo' sho'.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

I'm so excited! I just rented a fetal doppler from http://babybeat.com. I can't wait, it should be here in a week or so. I had heard and read about the rentals, so I'm taking the plunge. It'll be neat to hear, record and share the heartbeat, especially since we have family on the other side of the US.

I decided to do it after my check-up appointment on Thursday. I was excited about the appointment because while I thought it may involve a little spelunking (no fun), it would at minimum involve hearing the heartbeat again. Nope, wrong on both counts. The doc just wanted to chat. Other than my blood pressure, urine and weight (lost 5 lbs) - they did nothing else. Odd, right? I mean, how does that teach them anything about how little 10-week old Lima Bean is doing? Apparently, I don't get to hear the heartbeat again until the 2nd trimester appointment. I'm impatient and want to hear it whenever I want - so hello doppler! I'm going to name my doppler - Lloyd (hehe, Say Anything reference. Lloyd Dobbler, Lloyd Doppler, get it? If not, you people need to rent that movie STAT!).

On the exciting front, we get to find out the sex of the baby on May 28th. Wahoo!

Just thought you should know. In case you were worried, or missed me, or something...

I'm still pregnant, sick, and tired. Yay, the fun! I have 2 sonogram photos to post, but my lazy husband won't scan them for me. He's busy, allegedly. I think he's just lazy. (love you honey!)James' mom is doing much better. She had a pacemaker installed on Monday, her feeding tube has been removed, and she's breathing on her own. They should be releasing her into a long-term care facility next week for rehab. We're hoping she'll only need to be in for a few months, and then be released to home.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

What up peeps! Long time, no blog. What's up with that? Oh, wait, that's right - I'm the blogger. Sorry! I've been a bit tired, sick, tired, sick, tired, sick....you get the pic, right?

So before the slight hiatus, I took a nice weekend trip with the girls to Chicago. It was great - loved it, loved it, loved it. Great people, good food, beautiful city, fun events - just too much for one weekend really, and yet not enough either. Great city, and I will have to go back! I would blog about it, but I still have no pics because I forgot my camera - dumb, duh, dumb, dumb. So, instead - everyone hop on over to CindyLooHoo's blog and check out her day-by-day postings of our trip, now with pictures. Seriously, it was a great time and I couldn't capture it any better.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Right now my hubby is on a plane heading from San Diego to Charlotte, and I cannot wait for him to get home. This last week and a half has been the longest and most stressful week in a while, and we've still got a ways to go.

Last Wednesday night, J's mom had a massive heart attack. The call we got was to hurry out because they didn't think she was going to make it. This is not the call you want to get when you live on the other side of the country. Living in Charlotte, you'd think it'd be easy to catch a night flight out. Not the case. In fact, we ended up packing up, calling our bosses, and jumping in the car at 2am to drive to Atlanta for a flight at 8:30am. Needless to say, staying up for over 24 hours is not fun.

Luckily when we arrived, his mom was in stable condition in the ICU. However, the word stable is really misleading. It doesn't lead you to expect a feeding tube and ventilator. And seeing someone, especially your relative, all tubed up like that really makes it hard to think that everything is going to be okay. Not to mention the horrible hospital that she was in and the fight to get her transferred (longer story).

I left San Diego on Tuesday and have been home alone and missing my man for days, and I can't wait for him to get here tonight. Unfortunately, his mom is still in hospital and will be looking at major surgeries next week so he'll be heading back out. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things go well and that she won't be in the hospital for many more weeks. All you can do is hope.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

A few of you have asked me why I haven't posted since the big announcement....I got nothing. I still really am just in shock that I'm pregnant. It's not like I look pregnant (besides the crazy sore and swollen boobs), and I think that makes it hard to comprehend and digest. It's all just so surreal still!

But, I am bloated like a champ. Seriously, I have like 2 pairs of work pants that still fit comfortably (you know, my formerly fat pants) - and I literally wore one pair of them 4 days out of 5 last week. Sorry co-workers, I'm usually stylish but I feel stupid going out to buy new clothes for this in-between stage.

I'm also paranoid that I'm going into this pregnancy too fat already. I'm like 15 (probably more) pounds heavier than I should be, so when I read all the pregnancy books I'm already in the "overweight" category. I know I shouldn't worry about this, but it does stress me out. Not to mention the fact that the OBGYN told me on the first visit that I shouldn't gain more than 20-25 pounds total. I feel like I should be eating healthier than ever right now and totally trying to exercise daily, so that I don't become a big fat pregnant monster. I mean, I shouldn't even show until like what month 4 or 5? It doesn't help to see all these pregnant hollywood types who weigh as much as I do on a skinny day when they are at full term. I know, it's silly, and I should totally not give a shit - but it is in the back of my head nagging at me.

Mostly, I have horrible heartburn and acid reflux. Oddly, I am craving salty foods and eating the heck out of chips and salsa - I know this doesn't help the reflux, but it's so yummy. I'm also nauseous and dizzy in the mornings and at night - I guess it's the beginnings of morning sickness. I threw up for the first time today - wahoo! But I think it was more from the acid reflux, than true nausea. I'm also way more tired than ever - especially in the afternoons around 3pm. I get home from work and nap, eat dinner, and then go to bed super early. So, dilemma - where to fit in the working out. See, this is why I'm slightly stressed.

I'm going to eat more chips...they're organic and have protein. Little Lima Bean needs lots of protein...also worrisome, since I'm not typically a big protein person. See, so much to worry about!!

Friday, February 22, 2008

So after the maybe-positives on the pregnancy tests, I was finally able to get an appointment at the doctor. Well, not my usual doctor, but a totally new doctor. Yep, my doctor couldn't get me in for a few weeks. A few weeks?! Hello lady, I can't wait that long. So I totally bailed on my old doc and got myself a shiny new one!

I never went back to sleep after 5:00 a.m. on Thursday. I was too anxious, nervous, excited, afraid, and a zillion other feelings. James looked like a deer caught in headlights. The headlights being fear and anxiety! We got to the doctor at 10:00 a.m., and then had to sit in the waiting room for 20 minutes. The longest 20 minutes of my life! And of course, I'm thinking - did I really see 2 lines this morning? What if I'm totally not anywhere near pregnant and this is all just me being a prego-chondriac? I mean, I have been obsessed with getting pregnant, so I could have imagined it all. Possibly. I really hope not, that would be so embarassing!

We go back to the way back, finally, and I have to pee in a cup. Of course I flip out and am like, I can't pee - I have no more pee! I am supposed to get a blood test, I already did the peeing at home. The nurse assures me that the doctors' have stronger tests than my little EPT, so I go along with it. And ya'll, I'm telling you it was like 3 seconds flat and she says "yep, it's faint but it's there...you're pregnant!" AHHH! So exciting, but lonely because James is in the exam room waiting on me and the doctor. So, we go in there and I tell him "it was right, we're pregnant." More shock and fear on his face. I have the nurse tell him we're pregnant, and after she leaves us to wait for the doctor he says, "I'm not believing any of this until the DOCTOR tells us for sure!" My little pessimist.

The doc comes in and confirms, yes I am pregnant. Four weeks and 3 days to be exact, and our due date is October 30th (but this will probably change). James is still in disbelief, and she tells him at least 3 more times that this is for real and we are pregnant. I am over the moon excited and happy and anxious and happy and anxious and happy....you get the idea.

This all still feels like a dream to me. I woke up today and was like, "Did this really happen?" I literally called James at work twice today to confirm with him that we did in fact go to the doctor and she did say we are pregnant. I am already totally in love with this baby. Seriously, I know that's weird since it's so freaking early - but I am already talking to the little bugger. I figure it's never too early to bond and train your child.

Right now our little lima bean is the size of a tiny apple seed. Isn't that crazy?

I deleted the picture since most of you thought it was gross....we'll go back to pictures when I have sonograms and such!

(or maybe gross, sorry! i'm obsessed with seeing what it looks like each week and you will get to journey with me!)

So, it's 5am and I just took ept test. Can see very faint shadow of second line which forms the plus. Is this a shadow? Am I seeing things? Does it count?

Argh! I've got 1 first response test left....do I test again @ 7:30ish when I wake up? Will that test be valid since it's less than 4 hours between pee's?

I'm peeing again then to see what it says. Email more later!!

----- Original Message -----From: Stacy

To: Miss BreezySent: Thu Feb 21 07:11:03 2008Subject: Re: ?

Second test, same as the first. Faint, but viewable, 2nd line. I made james look at both and he sees it to. Of course I'm upset though b/c his reaction was "go to the doctor. Let's not get all excited until you get official word from the doctor."

Wow, thanks for the love, support and enthusiasm honey. It's so great being married to a rational thinker. Of course the gyno isn't open, and itwon't let me leave a message for some reason.

I think I'm going to call you now b/c I need to talk to someone who will at least say "fuck yeah they're lines. You're eggo is preggo!"

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Okay, I think I have an eating disorder or something. Seriously, I'm out of control with the cravings. I just ate a whole 16-ounce jar of Kosher Dill Chips. Literally, just now, as a snack. I mean, I've always loved pickles - but a whole jar! That's like 70 dill chips, ya'll! And I cannot lie my friends, I would have drank all the pickle juice too if James hadn't come in and taken the jar away from me.

I bought a pregnancy test today to take tomorrow morning. So, either I'm pregnant or this is the worst PMS ever.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I never claimed to be a poet...plus it's really hard to find something that rhymes with label!

Have ya'll tried Silk Chocolate? If not, do - but go for the low-fat version. I literally drank a whole carton yesterday. It's so smooth and creamy, and it was the only thing making my nauseous tummy happy. Of course now I know that our love must be denied. I cannot handle your passion Silk Chocolate - you consume me. And since I cannot say 'no' to you, I have banned you from the home (until my next craving).

Friday, February 15, 2008

OMG can I just say that I feel like Oprah totally dissed us today. Breezy, CindyLooHoo, T-Ann and myself dialed like crazy today on multiple phones to get through on the Oprah Ticket line and never got further than multiple busy signals and "circuits are busy." How could you crush our dreams O? We worked our fingers to the bone dialing from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. and yet got no love from the O.

Monday, February 11, 2008

If you have a lazy weekend coming up, here are some movies I'd recommend -

The Kingdom: Okay, I refused to go see this in the theater with James because Jamie Foxx just gets on my nerves. Yes, he was phenomenal in Ray and Dreamgirls, but since then he's gotten so full of himself and just annoyed me in interviews, so I have sort of refused to see his movies. Well, James pitched a fit that we rent it this weekend since I ruined his life by not going to see it in the theater. And, I have to admit that it was really quite good. Rent it, you'll like it.

Feast of Love: I really wanted to see this when it came out, but it was too 'girly' for James. However, he was pleasantly surprised by the fact that it's sort of a indie/art house movie and there is a lot of nudity - full on T & A. Beyond that, it was a very good love story. It was full of redemption, hope and the intricacies of all relationships. I really enjoyed it - and your man will too when you tell him about all the booby scenes.

The Jane Austen Book Club: Jane Austen, 'nuff said. It's a great ensemble cast - Maria Bello & Emily Blunt to name a few - and it follows the lives of several characters as they proceed through all 6 of Jane Austen's novels. Plus, it has cutie Hugh Dancy (ella enchanted anyone? am i the only person over 25 with no kids that loves that movie?!). Definitely girly, so watch it without the boys - and then go right into Pride & Prejudice!

Deathproof: Again, evil me wouldn't go to the theaters to see this when it came out. It seemed so stupid. I'm not a 'hot rod' kind of person. James has been begging to rent it for months and I finally gave in. I love Tarantino - sure he's annoying as hell, but I always love his movies - and Deathproof was no let down. Full of gratuitous, over-the-top violence, cursing, strong women and good music - it's a total Tarantino. If you don't like violent movies, then avoid. If you're like me, enjoy!