A: Two years ago I fell in love with a legendary superstar when he walked into an exhibition I was having in New York City. He's 20 years older than me, a creative genius, and busier than anyone I've ever known. I see him at best three times a month and, at worst, once a month. He has an army of gorgeous, vivacious models/celebrities at his beck and call. This has been the cause of conflict in his past marriages. For me, "the model issue" has been obscured because we share the same artistic ambitions and he inspires me in my work. When I ventured (once!) to define us, he disappeared for two months. Should I pack it in? I guess my fear is turning on the news and seeing he's engaged to someone more special and less difficult than me.

B: Forcing him to see you or stopping him from becoming engaged to "someone more special" is impossible. You can't control what he does any more than Frida Kahlo could control Diego Rivera. Thus, you may do anything you like with the old codger—love him, leave him, paint his buttocks green. You're an artist; you're supposed to be "difficult."

- Hi everybody! I apologize because this post is rather long. I guess "paint his buttocks green" has a figurative meaning in this case. If it is correct, what does it mean?

Steve, I don't think there is any specific meaning to the painting part. It's not a set phrase or an idiom. I think it is just an exaggerated indication of how useless any of her actions would be towards making him change his ways. Standing on her head, reciting the alphabet backwards, lighting her hair on fire, painting his arse, crying and begging, would all have the same impact...none.