Today I want to talk about expression. Most of us tend to keep everything locked up, either thinking it’s not important, being scared of talking or not having anyone to talk to. It’s so important to expres your feelings, don’t keep them in, it’s toxic. I know it’s scary and overwhelming and you might think you’re not gonna be able to handle it, but if you express how you feel, it’s gonna be easier. I’m a proof today that by expressing yourself your mind is clearer, your chest is lighter and your mind is a bit more free.

You might also not know how to express yourself or using bad coping methods (such as self-harm, which I understand, it was my way to let go of feelings). So here are five ways, you can choose 1 or 5 or 2, but please try at least one of them, and if the one you tried didn’t work, try another one. Don’t give up!!!

Talk it out (talk to someone you trust, or record yourself talking, but SAY IT OUT LOUD)

Draw, dance, sing, write…art is always a good way to express your emotions. We don’t care if you’re good at it or not, just express what’s weighing you down!

Read. While reading we forget our own world. Read a relatable story, express yourself through the characters.

Run, workout, ride your bike…sport is a good way to let it all go, and it helps get in shape and stay healthy!

Learn a new skill through which you could express yourself in some way or another! Be creative!

Valentine’s day was just a few days ago and the world was filled with love.

Whether you’re single or not, I’m sure you felt love by someone, if you didn’t, I love you!

It’s important to love people but it’s even more important to love yourself! Cause yes, if you love yourself you can love others properly! Self love contributes to your happiness and to your well-being. if you love yourself, you start focusing on the outter world and you start loving the world surrounding you, everything becomes easier.

Here are five litte tips to treat yourself. you are precious, so take care of your body and your mind!

Look yourself if the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful

Buy yourself a gift after achieving something

Make sure to ask for help when needed, it’s hard but it’s the right thing to do!

Today is a sad day. Yes, indeed, I’m depressed. I have an exam tomorrow and I can’t seem to get myself to study cause I can’t focus, cause my mind is too busy to be able to concentrate on the lesson I should know for tomorrow, cause I can’t breathe, cause my head aches from all those thoughts, cause I feel worthless, cause I’m a failure and I’m failing, so why fight? why carry on fighting for something that won’t ever work? It doesn’t make anysense to me right now..

I know this isn’t how I’m supposed to think, and my thoughts/mood/mindset doesn’t define my capacity to succeed in life or anything, it’s not my fault. But I can’t convince myself of that.

Depression is a hot mess, it’s a vicious cycle to the abyss of chaos, dragging you down a bit more everyday, and you see yourself slowly getting worse, but you’re powerless against that demon inside you.

How do we fight against our own mind? Is that even possible.

I don’t even know. I’m not motivated today. This blog is about motivation but I have no motivation today. But this blog is also about being honest. So here you go, a sneak peek into my current life (also explains the lack of posts lately). I’m sorry.

Even if I’m not doing good, I can still cheer you up: Don’t give up when it gets hard. It’s so hard, believe me I know, I’m therre too, right now while writing this, but it’s really important to not give up!!!!

Today I’m not feeling good. I feel gross and I don’t feel okay with food lately. I want to give up. I feel trapped. I feel lost. One part of me says “give up”, another says “fight”. But what is giving up? I don’t know anymore. What is fighting? fight for what? I’m done fighting…

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HOLD ON!

That’s not what I should focus on. That’s not what I should think. I shouldn’t let myself feel this or let myself get trapped by the negativity that is surrounding me.

As I said, I’m not in the best shape lately. But that’s not a reason to give up!!! we should never give up, no matter how hard it can get!

Put on some music, breathe, clear your mind, think about something peaceful, close your eyes, relax, feel your body and acknowledge it, let it be, don’t try to control it, let it be and let if feel.

I always want to control what I do, what I think or what I eat, but I can’t do that. i can only deal with them.

When it becomes hard, remember why you began to fight, remember what you fight for, remember it’s for a good reason, it’s for your health.

You are okay! It gets better.

Short article today, but sometimes words aren’t as important as actions. So now I’m gonna remember why instead of thinking about the negative crap.

Stay strong everyone, NEVER give up! You’re a warrior. I believe in you!

First of all, sorry for the lack of content lately, I have exams coming up so I’m really busy but I’m gonna fix this, I promise!!!

So, today I want to talk about health, food, and delicious good stuff life gives us every single day.

As I already mentionned I suffer from an eating disorder, and lately it’s been harder than usual, long story short, i lost weight. That is bad and I don’t want it to be that way. So I’m taking one day at a time and try to make the most of it. Food is part of my daily life and I’ll have to deal with it pretty much until I leave this Earth, so might as well have a good relationship with it right? Yet, it’s not my case. It’s been a while I do research on veganism and stuff and I’m really thinking to go vegan. With the eating disorder, I’m not healthy, whether I eat or not, the main point in an eating disorder is self-destruction so, whether I eat “healthy” or binge, either ways, it’s not good for my body. And, to be honest, all I’m looking for is a healthy eating habit. So now, why vegan? I went on Youtube these last couple days and watched videos of vegan youtubers and their “What I eat in a day” (checkout the channel of bonnyrebecca) and as I looked at their meals, and the food they eat, not only was it pretty, but I was craving one of those. So since I’m not a big meat lover and I love animals and I want to protect them (and honestly, meat and fish and eggs kind of digust me in the first place, but as the majority of the Earth’s population, I have been raised on this kind of diet.) why not go vegan?

You might wonder what’s the link between going on a vegan lifestyle and the eating disorder, well let me tell you…

I was watching a video from the channel “bonnyrebecca” and she said that as a vegan person, in order to feel full throughout the whole day and not starveand stuff, she has to eat more (she eats daily around 2500 kcal). vegan food is burnt by the body faster, and it’s all healthy products, either from vegetables, fruits or seeds, so I don’t know if you get my point here, but what I mean is, binging on a vegan pasta bowl isn’t the same as binging on a regular past bowl, does that make sense to you?

Well, anyways, besides the eating disorder, I truly believe that veganism is great and I’m definitely turn towards that diet.

So to finish this little explanation (is it an explanation? I don’t know) I’m gonna list 5 reasons to go vegan (those are personal reasons, feel free of course (and I encourage you) to make your own!

Animal protection!!! very important!!!

Healthier for the body and for the mind

No meat, no problems. More vegetables, more happiness!

It’s good for the environment

The food is pretty!! (is that a reason?) and you can create recipes as much as you want, it’s always new, it never gets old!!

Thank you for reading, Take care of yourself, Stay strong and don’t give up

p.s: Find balance. A healthy life is, before anything else, about balance!!

I just came back home after spending a week in London. Oxford street, Buckingham, Camden town, Covent garden, LOTS of museums, and food…

I make mistakes. I have an eating disorder. I said I wanted to start this new year positively, which I did the wrong way, I admit it. I Lost weight which is a huge trigger for me.

Friday we went to the restaurant in London to eat fish’n'chips…bad idea right? I had a panic attack. I couldn’t breathe, felt dizzy, a lot of thoughts went through my mind, I was feeling really hot, long story short, I was really bad. So i went outside to breathe some fresh air. it helped a bit but the thoughts were still here. After on, once on the bus to head back home, it was back, the anxiety hit me again and I couldn’t breathe properly, I started to feel hot, really worried and I was about to break down in tears, but I tried to calm down. I think it took me about half an hour to actually be able to breathe better and feel less overwhelmed. Right now, I’m home, writing this article and I can feel the anxiety inside of me. It’s time for lunch and I don’t want to go get it cause I’m convinced something could happen (panic attack, binge, etc…). I’m struggling lately and I’ll be honest I don’t really know what to do, I’m sorry I’m not a professional helper, just one of many who struggle with depression, eating disorder and anxiety unfortunately. That’s why I created this blog, not only to help you, but to help myself as well and also to go through this beautiful (yes, BEAUTIFUL) journey.

This being said, here’s what I want to get to:

5 things to do when you feel overwhelmed:

Breathe

Talk to someone you trust, don’t stay alone with your thoughts

Write down what you feel, try to find some reasons. That way you’ll understand, therefore you’ll be able to solve the problem.

Take a bath, a shower, go for a swim, go for a run, dance…let it go through your body.

Take one thing at a time, don’t rush everything is okay and you’ll be okay.

Have you ever noticed how our day gets better and brighter when something good happens to you or when you get results from something you fought for for a long time? feels good right? I think that’s what peple call joy, or happiness? Whetever it’s called, we have to keep this feeling in mind and always look for it when we feel like it’s going away, never let it go!

Sometimes we feel good, all joyful and stuff and the next day we feel like crap. Don’t worry, I guess it’s normal. At least, it is okay. If you feel that way don’t give up, carry on fighting and looking for that spark that brightens your day.

When we suffer from depression, we easily lose hope and all sorts of optimism, especially when things are slightly. We must find it back! Take step by step, one at a time, don’t hurry, it’s not a race, it’s a journey, a travel with few obstacles (which aren’t impossible to overcome). Learn to have faith before learning how to do things. BELIEVE BEFORE TRYING. Life isn’t that bad, it’s seems awful, a total mess, hell, seems like it won’t ever get better, but it will. Just keep believeing in yourself.

Today I want to talk to you about eating disorders, depression, anxiety, self-harm. These are serious problems people tend to not take seriously and there’s a lot of stigma around it still today, even though there is progress.

Myself, I’m dealing with all these above to this day. Christmas is hard cause of the amount of food which brings anxiety. Panic attacks hit me more and more often, sometimes for no reason. Self-harm has been my way to cope for three years, it destroyed everything in me and today, everything is a trigger and the urg to harm myself is beyond bearable. Sometimes, most of the time, I don’t want to get out of bed, breathing is hard, eating is hard, listening to people or to sounds around me is hard, doing my homework is hard, living is hard.

People don’t always understand those problem. They think it’s just for attention, or I don’t know, to victimize ourselves. But they don’t know we actually can’t help it… it’s in us, it’s us, our shadow, our thoughts, our oxygen. It’s part of us and always will be. We don’t get rid of it, we just get better at dealing with it. it’s like going in a city we’ve never been to before. We got lost several times, by time, we know where we’re going.

What I want to insist on is the recovery process. Recovery is beyond hard cause you go against yourself, or what you think is yourself. It’s easy to punish yourself, it’s easy to skip a meal and it’s easy stay in bed. But it’s so difficult to keep yourself from cutting, it’s so difficult to eat after several months of self manipulation, it’s so difficult to force yourself to basically live when all you want is to disappear. And yet, that’s the best thing to do. The “easy way” as I call it, isn’t the good one, it’s a trap, it’s toxic. It’s gonna lead to rock bottom, if not lower. Recovery is hard, it’s beyond hard, it’s hell sometimes, but SO worth it!!

As long as we want to succeed, we will. All you need to do is want it. You have to want to get better if you actually want to get better.

Please don’t give up. It gets better, trust me. i know it because i’m not far from being good again, even if I still struggle today. But it’s a daily battle. Take one day at the time, don’t focus on the future while you didn’t even step in the present yet.

STAY STRONG

It’s never easy and it’s never over, and it will be a fight renewed each morning, but it’s possible.

Here are some books I’ve read more than once. They helped me calm down, think less, they made me laugh as well as they made me cry, they helped me see clearer in my own life. They’re little treasures we tend to forget while they’re so precious. Nowadays people don’t want to read, they either don’t have the time or can’t be bothered. But, the thing is, we always have the time. Take a moment everyday to read, it won’t kill you and you won’t waste your time, believe me!

Read at least one book per week, I’m sure your life will get a bit lighter, easier. Try it and you’ll see it by yourself.