Friday, March 24, 2017

Three Lessons

By Sr. Annie Klapheke

Some of my greatest
spiritual lessons over this past year have come from some unlikely
teachers:women in recovery from drug
and alcohol addiction.

About a year ago I become
involved with the Ignatian
Spirituality Project (ISP).The
mission of ISP is to offer retreats for men and women experiencing homelessness
and/or in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction.These retreats integrate the Spiritual
Exercises of St. Ignatius with the 12-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).Since becoming involved with this ministry, I
have received far more than I have
given.As I reflect on my past year as
an ISP team member, here are three important lessons I’ve learned.

Lesson 1:We
have more in common than we think

The first step to becoming
an ISP team member is to first participate in a retreat, as a retreatant.I remember feeling nervous as I prepared for
this initial experience.I was a novice
at the time, and I remember wondering, ‘What will I, a nun-in-training, have in
common with women in recovery from drug addiction?Will they think I’m self-righteous or too
naïve to relate to them?’God answered
my question in the first hour of the retreat.The opening activity was to find a partner and spend five minutes each
sharing about our lives.My partner
shared first.She was currently living
in an all women’s residential recovery center.She talked about how much she enjoyed the bond with the other women in
the program, how they lived together like a family, sharing duties and
responsibilities and how they all supported each other in living their common
mission to stay sober.A group of women,
living in intentional community, with a mission driven-purpose – it sounded
awfully similar to religious life.As I
shared about my own experience of living in community with my sisters, and
supporting each other in our mission to live the Gospel, my partner commented,
‘Wow, I never thought I’d have something in common with a nun.’

This lesson can be applied
in so many areas of life.Often we look
at the ‘other’’, focusing on the obvious external differences, and these felt
differences can lead to resistance or even fear.But when we take the time to share our
stories with one another, we often find we have more in common than we think,
simply by our shared human experiences.Imagine how this lesson could transform hearts around issues such as
racism and anti-immigrant sentiments?

Lesson 2:The
true meaning of poverty

I’m not talking about
material poverty here.I’m talking about
poverty of spirit – the kind of poverty that Jesus blessed, “blessed are the
poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3); and the
kind of poverty I have vowed to live as a woman religious.In this type of poverty, a person admits they
are nothing on their own, but instead completely dependent on God.These women know what it feels like to hit
rock bottom, and it is from this place of complete emptiness and desolation
that they begin their journey in recovery.The first three steps of the 12-step program are 1) admitting your
powerlessness over your addiction, 2) coming to believe that only a higher
power can restore you to sanity, and 3) making the decision to turn your will
over to a higher power.These three
steps also align with the first week of the Spiritual Exercises, which is also
called the “Principle and Foundation”.The goal of this first week is to recognize that the total purpose of
one’s life is union with God, and everything in one’s life should be ordered to
God’s plan.One of the women on the ISP
team has been in recovery for three years, and she often gives the witness talk
on retreats.One of her most compelling
lines is, “I wake up every morning and as soon as my feet hit the floor, my
prayer is, “God, today I’m doing your will, your way; your will, your
way.”She relies 100% on God to maintain
her sobriety.

As a healthy, well-educated,
white, middle class US citizen; it can be easy for me, from my privileged
vantage point, to fall into a pattern of self-sufficiency and independence – ‘I
have it all together, and I can go it on my own’.This mindset is the antithesis to my vow of
poverty as a woman religious.The women
in the ISP program have taught me what it looks like to admit total
helplessness, and to live a life totally reliant on God.

Lesson 3:Gratitude

On the most recent retreat I
led, I spent Saturday evening hanging out in the kitchen chatting with one of
the retreatants.She amazed me with her
attitude.“Every morning my alarm goes
off and I just pop right out of bed with a big smile on my face.I go bounding down the hall saying good
morning to everyone I pass,” she said, “I am just so happy to be alive and to
be where I’m at.”These women’s lives
are not easy.The recovery programs are
often very rigid and structured, and the women have very little autonomy or
privacy in their day to day lives.Even
once they are living on their own again, many of them work exhaustingly long
hours, with long commutes via bus or walking, making just enough money to make
ends meet.Not to mention that many of
them bare the wounds of trauma and carry burdens of guilt and shame from their
past.Yet they live each day with such
gratitude; grateful simply to be alive, to be sober and to wake up each morning
in a clean, safe, warm bed.

After making an ISP retreat,
the women can continue attending monthly reflection nights for support and
sustained spiritual nourishment.So many
times I have arrived at these Monday evening meetings feeling stressed or
cranky about something petty going on my in my own small world.But after two hours with these women, I’m
reminded that the only acceptable attitude for the gift of life is complete
gratitude, every day.

Maybe one day these three
important lessons will take root in me, and I’ll finally learn to be like one
of my new role models.