This Week's Leaders

Happy and Nervous

Can't believe we have a month to go til married...but I am the one getting scared, not to say I Do but that my disability will make me ill from the stress. Would it be appropriate to have a private vow exchange for us before our planned ceremony? The ceremony will still take place, but just him and I would be there the first time.

Can't believe we have a month to go til married...but I am the one getting scared, not to say I Do but that my disability will make me ill from the stress. Would it be appropriate to have a private vow exchange for us before our planned ceremony? The ceremony will still take place, but just him and I would be there the first time.

Why don't the two of you have a "first look"? That should calm you down and alleviate any fear or stress you have prior to the ceremony.

When you say you want to have a private exchange before the planned ceremony, do you mean immediately before the ceremony, or on a different day? If you want to do it on a different day, it would NOT be appropriate. It doesn't make sense to have a private exchange immediately prior to your ceremony, as I would assume you would still have some sort of vows said during the ceremony.

Because I wanted a hand fasting, and DH's mom is uber uber religious (like church every day religious) and no one really knows I'm pagan anyway, I was going to do a private pagan ceremony/hand fasting beforehand. Like RIGHT before the ceremony. As it turns out, we didn't have the time for it anyway and had a ceremony with 'pagan undertones' instead and did a hand fasting but mentioned it was a celtic tradition (it was celtic themed).

I wasn't really nervous per say but I will say the first look helped tremendously. We also did a dry run 1/2 hour beforehand and were out in the open near the ceremony site as guests arrived. Everyone pretty much saw me before my walk down the aisle and I talked to people and chatted with everyone before the ceremony. nbd. Do first look!

My H and I read private vows to each other the day before our ceremony. It was just the two of us, and in no way legally binding. Just things we wanted to say to each other in private. The next day we had our ceremony and said "I do" to traditional vows.

I think you should do a first look, and read your vows to each other. I bet that will help.

H and I got ready together and then drove ourselves to the ceremony/ reception site. I saw all of my guests before hand and I wasn't the least bit nervous. I have a generalized anxiety disorder and was quite worried about how I would do. I still felt special walking down the aisle and got extra time with my guests. We also kept our vows to the standard as I didn't feel I could handle anything else. I would recommend seeing each other and/or your guests ahead of time.

I have ANXIETY and a Traumatic Brain Injury from my time in the military so i am scared that it's going to 'act up' and cause headaches and a blackout. FH and his mom know about them and told me everything is going to be OK, but I still worry. My best friend is my Matron of Honor and a former Deputy Sheriff and loves us both so she's volunteered to keep me calm and get me laughing...plus the VA maybe getting me a Therapy Dog before the wedding, so that will be the BIGGEST help of all and gift from Uncle Sam;compounded with the 'Snow White' photo shoot with our furbabies and feather baby-and all the advice you have given...I know I am going to make it through and be a 'Princess Bride' as my dressmaker said in his last email telling me gown is coming as of last night.

Totally agree with everything that's been said. You should really what makes you feel most comfortable. I know lots of couples who have done this sort of thing, getting "officially" married at city hall and then doing the big party later on. You should do whatever you feel most comfortable with I know it can be a stressful time.

Totally agree with everything that's been said. You should really what makes you feel most comfortable. I know lots of couples who have done this sort of thing, getting "officially" married at city hall and then doing the big party later on. You should do whatever you feel most comfortable with I know it can be a stressful time.

No. And quotes do not belong around officially - because that is the wedding. The "big party later on" is a reenactment.

Totally agree with everything that's been said. You should really what makes you feel most comfortable. I know lots of couples who have done this sort of thing, getting "officially" married at city hall and then doing the big party later on. You should do whatever you feel most comfortable with I know it can be a stressful time.