One B

14 new songs, 17 new videos – an entire “visual” album… and not one f-cking leak. Nothing. No press, no hype, no previews, no Justin Timberlake teasers to teasers to trailers…

Just Beyonce by Beyonce.

And why?

Because Beyonce LOVES a mic drop. And she understands how to create the perfect mic drop. Ideal condition: total silence. Which is why she locks it down. I repeat: NO LEAKS, no one had any idea. It’s a f-cking master class in control and precision. She released it at midnight and overnight – not even at peak time! – iTunes crashed. All this…and she’s BEEN ON TOUR.

Come ON.

Give the Queen her due.

And now let’s jerk off over all these videos. This is my new porn. Like, how does she tell the wind what to do, to the point where even the scarf lands on her head and covers her face at exactly the right time?

I need to make my hair look like this. Totally trying it today:

Look at the expression on her face here as she turns the corner and then FALL TO YOUR KNEES:

Slow motion walking through fog… and a bob. It’s making me weak:

Warrior Beysus walking in formation, killing you with her eyeliner:

Her mouth is open and she’s gripping the sheets. So, basically, making love to herself. I would.

B throws up the rock, and then turns it into a new spasm dance move. SICK.

Generous Beyonce lets other women look good up against the wall too.

Probably the only person who can be this hot on a rollercoaster. F-ck this bitch.

LOVE the 80s vibe to it here. Aaaaaaaand…there’s Tina!

Some are saying this is an homage to Madonna.

She weeps. A goddess weeps.

Look at her face here. And you’re lying if you’re rather stare at anything else.