A bunch of senators have rallied together to sponsor a new bill that would legally protect fashion designers from having their shit copied by H&M and Forever 21. Can someone explain to us why a thousand dollar, I dunno, military jacket (directly copied from, like, the military) is worthy of intellectual property protection? Chuck Schumer says it's because of all the tax revenue the state would make if only people just bought the real shit, which could vie with "watching reality television is actually a good mental exercise" in the delusional assertion hall of fame.

Anyway, here's what would create tax revenue: if fashion was an engine of jobs that could actually be reasonably held by people whose parents aren't real estate moguls.

Which brings us to another point: to manufacture knockoffs as quickly as they do these days, copycat corporations like Forever 21 and Steve Madden have gone so far as to open factories in the United States. Where when they employ people under sweatshop conditions, they actually get sued over it! This is more than we can say for fucking Ralph Lauren.