This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. To order presentation-ready copies of Toronto Star content for distribution to colleagues, clients or customers, or inquire about permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com

Everybody poops. But most aren’t as open about it as Toronto Twitter user Makela, aka “@_blotty,” who withheld her last name “so (she) can get a job in the future.”

“I have a story to tell. It is about my poop,” she wrote on Twitter in a series of 18 tweets that have gone viral, detailing a first-date horror story in which she retrieved offending matter from a toilet, wrapped in toilet paper and put it in her purse, and went back to kissing her date on his couch.

Some of the tweets have garnered upwards of 8,000 retweets and thousands more likes, with users calling her a “hero” and asking for her autograph.

At the time of nature’s call, 19-year-old Makela didn’t consider “holding it,” she told the Star in an exclusive interview.

“This is just something that happens. Everybody poops,” said the Calgary native, who plans to go to university for social work or psychology in September. “I don't think I realized what I was doing was completely insane until I put it in my purse and I sat down (on his couch) and he called me beautiful.”

Article Continued Below

Her story, reminiscent of an episode of Comedy Central’s Broad City in which a character removes a poop from a toilet during a power outage, has not been verified by the Star. Makela insisted that the story is true: “I didn’t make it up. If I wanted to do something for attention I wouldn’t pick something SO embarrassing.,” she wrote on Twitter.

When the toilet wouldn’t flush in her date’s bathroom, she got crafty. Makela removed the offending matter using a glove of toilet paper, and wrapped it up into a small package with more toilet paper, at which point she decided it was best to put the waste matter in her purse’s inner pocket and get back to her date.

On the couch where they kissed and he called her beautiful, all she could think was “I have a piece of my poo in my purse,” she tweeted. When she had a moment, she texted her sister for advice, who suggested she pretend she was a smoker and dispose of the dropping outdoors.

A few hours passed and her date used the bathroom. She heard a flush, and figured he had fixed the toilet, so she had to try flushing it again.

“I brought my purse up to the washroom. Unwrapped the poop, prayed to every god I know, put it in and flushed,” she wrote. Her prayers were answered: “By the grace of God, it worked. The poo flushed. I was free. I was in the clear. Everything was going to be okay. I survived.I am a survivor (sic).”

Her date, a man who asked her out while she was shopping at a grocery store, hasn't seen the tweets. “He doesn't really use social media. I think that's why I've been very lucky,” she told the Star. “He was completely oblivious. It didn't ruin the night for him.”

Though they’ve been texting back and forth since, she’s not sure she wants to go on a second date, whether he discovers the viral tweets or not.

“Poop story aside, I’m like, I don’t know if I want to see him again,” she said.

Since the story went viral, other men have reached out, so many that her direct messages on Twitter “have been a mess,” she told the Star. “A lot of men telling me I can poop in their house.”

There’s a moral to her first-date horror story too, she says: Don’t drink coffee before a date. It’s better to be tired than carrying feces in your purse. “I’d much rather have the sleepy-girl reputation,” she said. “All of the hard work I put into being a hot girl is tarnished by one teeny tiny poop story,” she wrote on Twitter. “Now I'm just the poop girl.”

But, a “confident, calm and self assured woman,” Makela will try to get more out of the unexpected Internet fame than Twitter users claiming her tweets belong in an art gallery. On Wednesday, she sent a tweet-plea to Ellen DeGeneres asking to be on her talk show. After all, “My poop is popular,” she wrote.

Makela has not received a response from DeGeneres’ camp.

Instead, she has set up a PayPal.Me account accepting contributions to her “new purse fund.”

More from the Toronto Star & Partners

LOADING

Copyright owned or licensed by Toronto Star Newspapers Limited. All rights reserved. Republication or distribution of this content is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Toronto Star Newspapers Limited and/or its licensors. To order copies of Toronto Star articles, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com

When the toilet wouldn’t flush in her date’s bathroom, she got crafty. Makela removed the offending matter using a glove of toilet paper, and wrapped it up into a small package with more toilet paper, at which point she decided it was best to put the waste matter in her purse’s inner pocket and get back to her date.

On the couch where they kissed and he called her beautiful, all she could think was “I have a piece of my poo in my purse,” she tweeted. When she had a moment, she texted her sister for advice, who suggested she pretend she was a smoker and dispose of the dropping outdoors.

A few hours passed and her date used the bathroom. She heard a flush, and figured he had fixed the toilet, so she had to try flushing it again.

“I brought my purse up to the washroom. Unwrapped the poop, prayed to every god I know, put it in and flushed,” she wrote. Her prayers were answered: “By the grace of God, it worked. The poo flushed. I was free. I was in the clear. Everything was going to be okay. I survived.I am a survivor (sic).”

Her date, a man who asked her out while she was shopping at a grocery store, hasn't seen the tweets. “He doesn't really use social media. I think that's why I've been very lucky,” she told the Star. “He was completely oblivious. It didn't ruin the night for him.”

"},{"bgColor":"","textColor":"","headColor":"","snippet":"

So, after a few hours he used the washroom and I heard it flush. I figured he fixed it. Maybe not, but I have to take the chance. I hAve to

Though they’ve been texting back and forth since, she’s not sure she wants to go on a second date, whether he discovers the viral tweets or not.

“Poop story aside, I’m like, I don’t know if I want to see him again,” she said.

Since the story went viral, other men have reached out, so many that her direct messages on Twitter “have been a mess,” she told the Star. “A lot of men telling me I can poop in their house.”

There’s a moral to her first-date horror story too, she says: Don’t drink coffee before a date. It’s better to be tired than carrying feces in your purse. “I’d much rather have the sleepy-girl reputation,” she said. “All of the hard work I put into being a hot girl is tarnished by one teeny tiny poop story,” she wrote on Twitter. “Now I'm just the poop girl.”

But, a “confident, calm and self assured woman,” Makela will try to get more out of the unexpected Internet fame than Twitter users claiming her tweets belong in an art gallery. On Wednesday, she sent a tweet-plea to Ellen DeGeneres asking to be on her talk show. After all, “My poop is popular,” she wrote.

Makela has not received a response from DeGeneres’ camp.

Instead, she has set up a PayPal.Me account accepting contributions to her “new purse fund.”