Aerosmith Can’t Figure Out if Aerosmith is Still a Band or Not

I’ve been sitting here for a good three or four minutes trying to come up with an opening sentence that’s better than the one from ArtsBeat, but I can’t. So here:

The sweet emotions that the members of Aerosmith once felt towards each other have apparently come to an end.

That’s right, everyone. Aerosmith has called it quits. Or, um, they may have?. No one seems to know for sure, not even the band. Perpetually shirtless and creepy guitarist Joe Perry says Steven Tyler quit after a show in Abu Dhabi, when he told a reporter he was planning to focus on his solo career. The actual quote, believe it or not, was, “I’m working on the brand of myself — Brand Tyler.”

But it turns out Perry can’t get a hold of Tyler to confirm any of this, because the singer is bad at returning phone calls, apparently? It’s all possible, though, that Tyler accidentally turned the volume down on his hearing aid and totally didn’t even know the phone was ringing in the first place.