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LONG BLOG

I'm not gay.
Now that we've got that straightened out, let me give you a little context! As you know, the always delightful Jonathan "Funktastic" Lee went on a little trip to Japan recently, and I gave him a bit of a hand with some of the language he would need to get around and some recommendations about where to go. He said he would repay me some way, but I had no idea how he was going to go about it.
One fateful day a large Amazon.ca (that hilarious mockery of Amazon.com that only sells books and music, HA!) package showed up at my house...
OH SNAP
Let's open it up, shall we?

THOSE USPS BASTARDS. (although I think everything was fine in the long run)
Enclosed was the above letter (still not gay, by the way), as well as a veritable treasure trove of excitement!

I immediately removed the first five items and laid them on the table!
Awesome.
While you may recognize Wolfenstein and Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter from ChillyBilly's haul, Funktastic was kind enough to replace my copy of God Hand that was stolen at PAX 2009! Also, Resident Evil CODE: Veronica and Bomberman Online are both awesome DC games that were not in my collection. This is my first Resident Evil game ever!
But, my friends, that was far from the entire package.

We also had some Nintendo console lovin'!
Aww yeah. I played a ton of Super Star Wars at friends' houses in my youth, but never owned my own copy. Thanks Funktastic!

Two GC games I've always wanted to play, and Killer7 was still wrapped! Funktastic's generosity springs eternal! However, my excitement over these two titles was nothing compared to the nonstop glee that followed.

Oh... my... god.
TWO SQUARESOFT PS1 CLASSICS!
Final Fantasy Tactics is awesome, but I was blown away by the fact that Funktastic sent me Legend of Mana as well! I love this game, I must have rented it ten times as a kid. I've been eyeing Funktastic's copy for a while, but never had anything worthwhile to trade him. Out of the kindness of his heart, he sent it to me for the minimal Japanese assistance I offered him. I've told you before that he's the nicest person ever, but if you still had any doubts (I don't know why you would), I hope this can put them to rest.

But wait! You thought that was the end, didn't you? Never underestimate our favorite Canadian's kindness. He packed one more thing into that box, and even gave it a fancy wrap job! It was...

A MYSTERIOUS ITEM FROM JAPAN
Whatever could it be?

I tore through that packaging faster than a kid on Christmas day. This, ladies and gentlemen? This was special.

In case you're one of the (admittedly numerous) fools who didn't play Nier, you may not be aware that the soundtrack is one of the best damn things mankind has ever created. Don't believe me? Listen for yourself!

Done? Anyway, this is the Nier 15 Nightmares & Arrange Tracks soundtrack. It has all the music from the one piece of Nier DLC as well as a number of arranged tracks, which are all incredible and includes this little number:

Nier is better than Zelda, confirmed,

Funktastic knows how much I love Nier and picked this up for me out of the kindness of his heart. It also goes perfectly with my Nier Original Soundtrack!
Bad. Ass.

Anyway, much (not gay, I swear!) love to Funktastic: the most generous person I've ever met. I'm beyond grateful to you. I'll see you at PAX 2011! Also, if you ever need any more Japanese help, you know where to find me!
<3 + 100
-TheCleaningGuy
PS: I'll see what I can do about that Shenmue Forklift!
PPS: Sorry about the poor picture quality, I'm using an iPhone 3G.