A vacant mind and lost thoughts

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These Moments We Call Ours

As we grow, our lives seem to with ever increasing complexity and various forms of control. At least, mine does. Started out life with my parents controlling things for a bit but they eventually gave up on that. As long as I didn’t drop out of high school, smoke weed around my mom or get arrested(even that wasn’t exactly strictly enforced), I was free to float through my life as I pleased.

It looked, for quite some time, that I would turn out like my father and I’m sure, in many ways, I am. Thing is, he and I had a bit of a falling out some years back, I quit smoking weed and became more like my mother. Hard working, going out of my way for others, being, in general, a damn good stand up person. Problem with that.

We can’t live our lives making sure others are happy, that includes our significant others. I’m not going into details but lets just say that much of I was has been outlawed by partner. Our relationship has gone from crazy passion to responsible parents and with that, a lot of who I am was kicked by the wayside.

How is that we see that as acceptable? That forcing people to change is ok. What happened to falling in love with the person and being content with them? I don’t have answers for these questions. Maybe some of you do.

As I type this, I am on the verge of some mid life crises(hopefully not) and if this is my mid-life then I will be dying in my mid sixties, which I guess would be ok though I was hoping to live long enough to sit around in my underwear on my front porch shouting obscenities at people passing by and smoking a long curled pipe.

With that, I wonder also: Are our moments ours, or are they just on loan to us?