Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Guest Post | The Best Advice You Will Ever Read... Maybe!

Before we begin, I should introduce myself a little bit. My
name is Kirsty and I write the blog Effortlessly Excessive – (http://effortlesslyexcessive.blogspot.fi/)
You could say it’s a blogging soup with a little bit of everything thrown in.
Some days I review beauty products, post fashion pieces, write about what I get
up to living in sunny old Finland or pretty much just waffle on about anything
that springs to mind.

I am absolutely honoured to be writing for Stacey’s blog and
I think that the hard work other girls have put in to help out around here is
utterly admirable. The bravery and good-spirited nature of Stacey is, I’m sure,
an inspiration to many and I wish her the world of luck in her battle.

Moving on to the situation at hand, when I saw Gemma from
Miss Makeup Magpie posting on Twitter for people to help out, I jumped at the
chance to do my bit; but then almost immediately I was hit with a bit of, ‘holy
crap, what do I write?!’ I don’t feel
like I fully fit in to the cool beauty crowd. I own a MAC CC cream that I don’t
entirely know how to use. It’s
purple, which is a pretty colour, and there ends my understanding.

Even though I probably own enough lipsticks to recreate the
paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, I thought I would stray away
from the whole ‘make up’ game if I may, and write what I feel most comfortable
with; which in this case today is plucking some words of wisdom from the weird
and wonderful place that is my head.

So here goes:

My key pieces of advice

1.Never microwave a Jaffa Cake. Ever. The smell is
unholy and as good as gooey, orange chocolatey sponge sounds, it just doesn’t
work.

2.Don’t trust a man to do laundry. You know the
saying, ‘If you want something doing right, do it yourself’? Yea… this applies.

3.Never, ever risk a cheeky dry shave of the legs,
regardless of how much of a rush you are in. That is unless you are totally
cool with them feeling like they are burning in seven levels of hell.

4.Don’t play ‘Chicken’ with your phone to see who
will crack first when the battery is low. You won’t win. Seriously. Just go and
put it on charge. (I’m working on this one)

5.As Autumn is drawing in, be wary when picking
conkers up off the floor. Not every circular, brown object in the grass is the
seed of a horse chestnut tree.

6.If you’re on a deadline or you need to get
something done, do NOT turn on Netflix. Your wardrobe will last another day without
being tidied and for heaven’s sake stay away from ASOS.

7.Don’t snooze your alarm. Chances are, you’re
going to sleep in too late and end up spending your morning running around your
house trying to get ready whilst going batshit crazy.

8.If you’re sad, buy a guinea pig. If you’re
happy, buy a guinea pig. If you’ve just recently moved to Finland, buy a guinea
pig. There isn’t any moment in life where you should not buy a guinea pig. If
you need any more convincing, check out my ‘children’ right here – (http://effortlesslyexcessive.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/pig-post.html)

9.Don’t go, ‘window shopping’ in Sephora or Boots
or any other place like it for that matter. You will buy something, it goes without saying. If you’re on a spending
ban or trying to be careful with your pennies, avoid at all costs!

10.Finally, there is absolutely no such thing as
the, ’10 second rule.’ Answer
me this, if you touched a poop for under 10 seconds, would your hands be dirty?
If you answered anything other than yes, then I’m doubtful that we can be
friends.

There we have it guys and girls, my ultimate snippets of
advice and words of wisdom to live by. If you had one piece of advice to give
to people, what would it be?

I really hope you enjoyed today’s dose of waffle and thanks
again to Stacey and Gemma for letting me post here.