The Best Abraham "Grampa" Simpson Quotes

Abraham "Grampa" Simpson is one of those characters who is the perfect cartoon depiction of the elderly. He yells, complains endlessly, and often has important life lessons to say just when you think he's no longer useful.

From classic lines describing how he feels about his son Homer, like "They say the greatest tragedy is when a father outlives his son. I have never fully understood why. Frankly, I can see an upside to it" to less meaningful quips like "'I'm Santa!? Oh, now I'll never die," let's take a look at the greatest Abe Simpson quotes in Simpsons history, ranked by your votes.

Whatever your favorite Grampa quotes are, vote them up on the list below so they will climb closer to the top. You can also vote on the list of the best characters on The Simpsons.

Grampa Simpson: Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say "dickety" cause that Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty." I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles…

Grampa Simpson: In 1957 I saw him turn the Secretary of Agriculture into the Secretary of the Interior. It was hell on their wives, but it sure brought down corn prices. Built a house out of corn. It was the worst home I ever owned. When it got really hot it smelled like Frito's.