Readers' Letters ‘Antrocentric’ Haines gets dolphin death threat

It seems that Lester Haines has offended some of the more marine-sensitive members of the Register readership with his comments on the shortcomings of dolphins. One reader, who asked to be identified only as "Chicken of the Sea", took it upon himself to gently point this out:

You IDIOT!

You wrote:

"What dolphins know about the Internet can be written on the back of a very small piece of kelp".

What kind of antrocentric comment is that! If a dolphin was reading this (and I assure you that they can read if they have to) they would be writing this message instead of me and they would be outraged about this slam against their intellectual abilities.

Just because dolphins have not developed a written language (due to the physical configuration of their fins) doesn't mean they don't know anything. Their oral history is filled with historical events stretching past our human history and including events where the historical record has been lost such as the disappearance of Atlantis and several of the stories of Titanic victims which were recounted to dolphins on the way down.

I suggest you retract this statement before you hit the beach next time. This is not a threat, but some dolphins are not the cuddly creatures that one might imagine.

Indeed. And, although Mr Haines has not retracted the statement, it has been whispered to the Letters Desk that he will be staying away from salt water expanses for the foreseeable future.