I had this album but don't remember this tune. I think some of the lyrics are pretty much on the mark though:

'Bald' by The Darkness

It would appear that male patternbaldness has set inhis hair, at an alarming pacerunning away from his facehe's losing his virilityand now his masculinityhas been compromisedand his libido down-sized

Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uhnot for me, not for me, heaven forbidit's not for me you understand

Bald, slap headed and hairlessbald he is destined to bebald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.

From what I have been readinghis scalp needs kneadingto stimulate each follicleand reverse this diabolicalcondition that's afflicted hefor years and has cruellyrepulsed each potential mateand left him with a balding pate

Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uhnot for me, not for me, heaven forbidit's not for me you understand

Bald, slap headed and hairlessbald he is destined to bebald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.

Sock it to me baby, yeah!

Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uhnot for me, not for me, heaven forbidit's not for me you understand

Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uhnot for me, not for me, heaven forbidit's not for me you understand

Bald, slap headed and hairlessbald he is destined to bebald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.Thank God!

Bald, slap headed and hairlessbald he is destined to bebald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.How?

That's what I once thought, but it's actually about the guitarist, who got a frontal hair transplant a few years later and now has a huge bald crown (his dad went very bald).

I watched The Darkness in a streamed concert last fall and thought the singer looked good and young for his age. I think I would have noticed if the band played that song. My educated guess is that it's rarely performed.