Most of us have something—or a list of somethings—we don’t feel like doing.

Here’s mine:

Dishes

Laundry

Cleaning the house

Scooping the cat’s litterbox

Cleaning up cat barf

Getting a mammogram

Going to any doctor

Dealing with my PMS mood-swings

Running in the cold weather

I could go on.

(Notice that working isn’t on my list. That’s because I love what I do. Thank you, Waylon!)

Many would agree on the laundry, dishes and house cleaning—mundane tasks that never seem to disappear from our lives, unless we’re fortunate enough to have a daily housekeeper. I do splurge on a monthly cleaning service (all green products) because a) I work and b) the very idea of cleaning stresses me out. But there’s still upkeep in between—spills, cat hair tumbleweed… I don’t have to tell you. You’re alive, so you know.

There are days that I could do nothing at all. Days that I feel like an absolute vegetable. And being the task master that I am, I like to give myself a hard time on those days. Life is short! Make the most of every minute! Be productive! Move around a bit, it will get the blood moving.

It’s also a requirement that I figure out why I feel like a vegetable (or if I’m feeling kinda sick, why am I sick? Am I really sick or is it in my head?) and retrace my steps over the last 24 to 48 hours. Did I miss a meal? Did I not eat enough vegetables? Should I be eating more fish? Did I eat something spoiled? Did I exercise too much/too little?

Yes, I’m a tad quirky. But at least I admit it. I’m working on just accepting those days of lethargy that crop up out of nowhere and the moments I’m faced having to do something I really don’t want to do.

An exercise I just made up (although I probably subconsciously picked it up from one of the elephant articles I edited) is to take all the things I don’t feel like doing and turn them into a positive.

Dishes. I’m alive and have a full life with people I love and nurture (one thing I enjoy to a fault) with the food I make. The sound of running water is calming and I’m fortunate to have running water!

Laundry. I’m the world’s worst folder. See above for the positives. Plus… I can fold while watching Colbert or Conan on my computer. And think how much worse it would be if I had to hand wash everything!

Cleaning the house. If our house was always immaculate (and it never is) it would seem like nobody lived here. A bit of clutter—an open book, a stray shoe, a LEGO—is a sign of life. I’m fortunate to have a roof over my head so the added task in my life of having to keeping us out of squalor is a gift.

Scooping the cat’s litterbox. Gross, yes. But our cats are part of the family. Wouldn’t give it up for the world.

Cleaning up cat barf. See above.

Getting a mammogram. These hurt like H-E-L-L. But it really doesn’t take too long. I could drink a martini (note to self: schedule the next one in the afternoon). And getting a mammogram will catch breast cancer early enough that something could be done about it, therefore potentially saving my life.

Going to any doctor. I could write a book about this. I abhor a person poking and prodding my body parts. It’s invasive. I dread it. (Dentists? Not a problem.) But I’m fortunate to live in an area that offers high quality physicians so if something goes wrong, I’m in good hands.

Dealing with my PMS mood-swings. As I approach the menopause years (I’m 48) these mood-swings are more like Full Metal Jacket, but less predictable. I’m not sure if they’re worse for me or the unfortunate bystanders. I’m able to fake my way through it and appear non-psychotic to the naked eye, but inside I’m angst-ridden and trying to claw my way out of my body and mind. Yes, it can be that bad. The upside? Ummmm. I’m stumped. Oh, I know! As long as I have PMS it means I’m not old enough to have gone through menopause.

Running in the cold weather. “Perfect” running weather is a dry 60 or 70. I can handle the cooler temperatures, but it’s harder to motivate myself. As soon as I’m out there—even if it’s 10 below—I’m happy I ran. It’s exhilarating and meditative all at once. (When it’s nice out and I don’t feel like running, I torture myself with thoughts like, “Enjoy this weather! Get out there! What are you thinking? Life is too short! It could rain tomorrow! Winter is coming!”)

Bottom line. Deal with it. I know, easier said than done. The things we enjoy the least aren’t going away. Until we die.

During any of these tasks or bad days, we can be mindful of how we feel and then allow the time to be an opportunity to be grateful and breathe.

I, personally, will work on being kinder to myself and allowing the days of just wanting to read a book by the fire become just that (as soon as I’ve taken care of my responsibilities).

Cheers!

P.S. Please leave some tips on dealing with things you don’t like doing! I can use all the help I can get!

It is surprisingly not that hard to make a chore into a treat. I love listening to audiobooks. I am also a workaholic and rarely give myself time to just listen. Also, I hate doing dishes. But, if I crank up my itunes while doing dishes and put on a book I am really excited about… Suddenly doing the dishes actually feels like a guilty pleasure! Whoa.

That cartoon was me yesterday about 2 hours before the Bilram class I go to on Thursdays. I did not want to move, seriously. The only reason I did go was the realization that the easiest thing in the world would be to stay home and slug out, and if I did, just for the sake of slugging, I would be, well, a slug. So, I went to class. When I got back I threw myself down on our sofa and told my wife the last thing I wanted to do for the foreseeable future was move.

Things I don't l feel like doing. Ever. I agree deal with it. But do you really want to work on the feelings? Is this a chronic pattern that you want to get rid of? Or are just complaining to get some attention, because this is limiting your life in some way? If so, it is a goldmine. Some suggestions. How often were you allowed to openly feel bad growing up about things you didn't like. My guess is you were raised catholic? I was. Lot's of guilt about feeling bad, not obeying your parents, and them saying " what do you have to feel bad about..etc." So now, how does it make you feel when your children or anyone else complains? Do you want to say the same thing as your parents, are you pleased with them, what is your reaction?

Are you patient, relaxed, loving, irritated, tense, tired, bored. etc..? Get a non-family member to listen to you. Tell them to not interrupt or say anything. Have them just smile, look relaxed and pleased with you. Work early with any memory you have connected to these feelings. They are old. Make sure your listening partner doesn't bring up what you said during your time. Give her a turn. Split time evenly. Humor really helps! You might have trash a lot of people to get at these feelings. Never ever repeat something someone said in confidence. That is why we feel bad in the first place. A violation of trust. Those feeling have nothing to do with reality. We just need to release them. You are fine. Life goes much easier, when we don't feel to carry those feelings around. But we need someone to pay attention. Good luck!

Quite insightful, Joe! I wrote this more as humor/aren't I neurotic piece, not as a complaining poor me piece. But if that's how you read it… maybe you feel guilty! Ha! Not raised Catholic, but Christian Scientist (I'm not one now) but definitely was never viewed as a good thing if we kids felt bad about something (or sick). I've gotten better with these "mundane" chores (I used to hide when it was chore time as a kid—but those chores included loading heavy bales and cleaning manure out of pens) but many times joke around that I was born to be a princess. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Thanks! Humor is a great way to deal with feelings! I feel less guilty as I work on my feelings. It helps that I have set my life up to have the space to feel stuff. Just a suggestion, try reading your piece to someone very slowly and notice if any feelings come up. Stay and discharge those feelings. You are a powerful person, who has a message that most everyone can relate to. Can you notice that? Your significance, your goodness, brilliance? It is time you faced what a huge difference you make in people's lives. I think you were born to have it all!

This came at the perfect time for me. I'm finishing my last year of my undergrad and the past two days I have been torturing myself over a final paper that needs to be written. Its been lingering around in my mind for about a week, annoying me because I know I should be writing it, but I just cant bring myself to do it. I'm now writing on a post-it why I am grateful I have this assignment at all (I have the privilege of going to college!) and I'm sticking it to my lap top. THANK YOU

I totally relate to the turn lemons into lemonade part. It’s actually fun for me to try to find the hidden good and focus on it. Also, breaking every task up into the smallest bits possible is a huge help. That’s why I don’t mind doing the laundry, because I put in a load, do something else, take out the load, do something else, hang the load etc. Cleaning, I only do in timed 15 minute increments spread through the day while I’m working. Huge help for me. Everyone copes as we can, but it’s important to me to respect the fact that I’m alive, I have a great family, I have access to water, food etc. and it’s in appreciation that I find relief.

[…] Lynn: It was reading time in kindergarten and John, who I had a crush on, was sitting cross-legged in front of me, to my right. He kept rocking back and forth and every time he rocked back, I gave him a smooch on his cheek. The teacher (who reported that I had “self-will” and fought me when I tried to write left-handed) scolded me but I wouldn’t stop. And John kept rocking back, so I guess he enjoyed it. […]

Very good timing! I just had the discussion with my preteen about how there are always things we have to do that are not our first choice…homework, chores, sitting through boring classes (hers) or paperwork,difficult conversations, laundry (mine). This reminds me to approach those difficult things with gratitude…glad I have a job, I like my clothes, etc. and to model and verbalize this attitude for her.