Looking for the Inner Beauty - Tales from 100# Down

Friday, October 11, 2013

I want to share something from my heart with you today. I've touched on it before in a blog but want to share more openly with you because maybe it will make a difference to at least one person.

I think most of you know that I began this journey somewhere over 350 pounds and I don't know where that somewhere was because my scales didn't go any further. I have NO pictures of me at that stage of my life because frankly I was very ill and my DH didn't take pictures because he was being kind so I just have to say 350+ as my starting weight. I do know that after I had been "dieting" for awhile we bought some new scales and by then I was down to 345 (still no pictures).

I thought I was doing great by then but I see my calves were huge, my arms were huge and my belly took up my lap not to mention my many chins.

Now you may be wondering why I'm dredging up these old pictures. I'm doing so because I want to make a point. The person in those pictures and the person writing this to you right now are the SAME person. Oh sure, things have changed, what I eat, how I move, my self-confidence, but I'm still the same person that loves holidays, old movies, animals, flowers, birds, music, the smell a fire burning in autumn, the first snowflake, the first crocus of spring and a great college basketball game.

Why am I telling you this? Because society often doesn't give us a chance. They see only the exterior and they miss out on the "great people" that make up the "interior". I have been watching people for a long time. I worked for years in women's retreats where strangers from many towns would come together for a long weekend. That first meet and greet time at the beginning of the weekend I would see the same thing happen over and over. People do not choose the large person to sit by, talk to, be the "buddy" for the icebreaker exercise, etc.

Now I can't speak for everyone of size but I can tell you that I plastered a smile on my face and pretended like everything was OK but inside it hurt. I never want ANYONE to feel that kind of hurt... so here is my little challenge for you.

When you are out and about and a person of size is in line next to you or coming up that aisle in the grocery - give them a nice smile. You don't know what battles they may be facing in their health, home, relationships etc. You just don't know the "why" behind their obesity. It's not as simple as too many french fries. It might be anything from sexual abuse as a child, to domestic abuse by a partner, to financial ruins to tragic death in a family. Treat everyone like you wish to be treated. Look for INNER beauty!

Now lest you think I'm promoting "fat acceptance" I'm not. I'm promoting the INNER beauty of the person because when we value them then they can value themselves and that's the first step to making and FINISHING this journey to "Health & Fitness".

Hope you make someone's day today by just giving them a genuine smile or a kind word.

Thank you for a very well written and important point. We are still the same person for the most part - whether we loose 10-100 to whatever. I know that for me, Society judges people too much, and makes it harder for us to stay strong.

We all need to be reminded, from time to time, to be kind to others. Sometimes, a smile can make all the difference in the day of the person you are smiling at. And it makes you feel better, too! Thanks so much for this.

I try not to judge anyone by how he/she looks, and I would hope I would be friendly to everyone, though I know if I were in a bad mood, I would probably be friendly to no one. :-( But you have motivated me to make a conscious effort, and I thank you for that.

Perhaps the beauty that was inside can also be reflected on the outside, when we feel better about ourselves. Sometimes poor posture, facial expressions, and baggy clothes, might mean how we feel, not always.

In a way the overweight suffer from bullying. It's awful I remember meeting a girl who hid behind her weight and was treated badly by others. All she was wanting was for people to accept her for herself but she went about it the wrong way. I hope she's alright and someone has been able to reach her & she's found love in the world.Thank you for this blog.!

I can't imagine being 316# since when I joined Spark six years ago I was at my worst weight of 214# and thought that was horrible. But if I hadn't stayed here at Sparks these past six years, I'm sure by now I'd be at 316# as it is so easy to keep gaining.Glad u have done SO well.

Unfortunately it's true, our looks are almost always the first filter we are judged by. And what 's also true is that appearances are almost always deceiving because we don't know the underlying circumstances.

I've always said, 'Treat others as you which others to treat you'. I taught my kids not to judge others because of their looks, race, religion etc. I've always said judge the individual by how they treat you. I know what it's like to feel 'discriminated' or 'judged'. Thank you for posting this blog!