Breadcrumbs

Taken or taking for granted? Permission not granted…

The human tendency to value something only before one gets it or after one loses it can be extremely detrimental to a relationship. The feeling of being taken for granted or taking someone for granted can be really unnerving. The fairy-tale romance is out of the window after the initial euphoria. Whether married, cohabiting or just in a relationship, the monotony sets in with time. The pining for each other wanes. And this is not gender specific. Both men and women can show this kind of an approach towards their relationships.

The forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. Similarly anything new is exciting. It is more about one’s imagination rather than the real. It takes one into the unknown – abound with mystery and mystique. Attraction at its optimum high.

The big question – why the ‘new’ becomes the ‘normal new’? Novelty of anything wears off with time. But then that doesn’t justify a change in one’s behaviour as far as dealing with one’s partner is concerned. As much as it is natural and normal for the newness to fade over a period of time, it doesn’t have to lead to negativity or indifference. This doesn’t apply to other relationships like with one’s parents, siblings or children. Do we ever get bored of them? Then why with our partners? Why does this association have to bear the brunt of a relationship turning mundane?

One of the reasons for a relationship going downhill is the demystification which follows the first phase of exhilaration. A major reason for people hopping relationships. Don’t they realize they will meet the same fate every time? Can one afford to keep changing partners in the hope of fanning the fumes of initial excitement? A very common reaction of most of the wives on learning about their husbands’ extra marital escapades is that “if she isn’t the first one, she won’t be the last one”. They are so confident about their husband’s passing fancies that they remain unruffled.

Any relationship starts with romance when physical and emotional attractions are at its peak, followed by love and dependence on each other. This culminates into a beautiful bond shared by two individuals. And finally it becomes a habit and both get used to each other. Here there may not be any obsessive longing, but they can’t do without each other. Instead of going through a full cycle of beautiful stages, why do the partners leave half way? Instead of treading an unknown territory, why not remain in one’s familiar vista to explore more? Such leaps don’t always get better. Remember it can get from better to worse. From frying pan into the fire.

There are ways and means to keep the relationship stimulating and alive. By injecting the right ingredients, it can prove to be magical. It’s up to us to create our own recipe. The cost it too high to let it go. After all nothing is permanent in this world including the transitory nature of the initial period. And taking or taken for granted is like a time bomb ticking to burst any time, to destroy our relationships.