StumblingMummy

All about Moi

Sunday, 21 October 2012

I'm looking for a new self help book, 'A guide to Mumdom' or more specifically 'A guide to 2 year old boys'.

Girls I have just about got to grips with, I just suggest/expect what I would like/have done and 50% of the time I'm right, 50% of the time its the exact opposite. No great surprises. Boys on the other hand (or to be exact, my one) have me flummoxed.

The type to book I want is direct. Not the kind which offers help, advice and hope on every continuing page only to completely wimp out at the very end with teeny tiny print on the final page with something completely annoying like "well, hee hee, of course these past 12 chapters are all just based on my experience, every child is different, so just go with what you think best".

No! I want a no holds barred, THIS is what you should do to get THESE results in the style of Paul Hollywood, Henry VIII and Jesus Christ where if you don't follow their rules you are a fool only to yourself and will receive a very withering "What do you expect?!?!?" look along with your rubbish result (e.g. dry bake, getting your block knocked off or a rather too warm eternity).

So the chapters I really want to read about are how to deal with/put an end to:

1. A constant need to whack (his words) everything that moves (primarily his sister)
2. A constant need to hold an iPhone/ipad
3. A constant need to snack
4. A constant need to watch Peppa Pig
5. A constant need to whine when none of the above are readily possible

Now I know what your thinking, this guy needs to get out more, do some sticking and painting, tramp in some leaves and read some books. This sounds like we don't do much, we do! We walk, have adventures, we play, we attend groups and we have quiet time but the above is normally taking place at the same time.

So please please please please (recurring with a dot on top) if you know the existence of this holy tome, can you just quietly tell me?

Sunday, 30 September 2012

The last few weeks have been tough, and there's not a sign of it lulling soon. Husband is so busy with work at the moment I barely see him, just an evening here or there and when he's here, he's not etc etc blah blah. Also its pretty normal for us to spend the evening watching tv, both on iPads or laptops or phones, texting, emailing, tweeting and the odd sentence or banal piece of information passed between us here or there. So, in a spark of inspiration I decided we needed a 'no technology' date at home this week.

It was nothing special but was very much so. We didn't pick up a phone or touch a computer, had dinner at the table (as opposed to our laps on the sofa) and we didn't stop talking. It was lovely. It all went back to normal the next day but dems da breaks. It'll happen again soon.

But this week has had other little sparks of magic in it too. A mummy at school I've never really spoken to stopped me in the street to introduce herself and say hi, another from toddler group made a beeline to speak to me and then requested me as a friend on Facebook. I had an amazing conversation with a lady at toddler group about her faith which really focussed me and I had an invitation to an evening out with other mums.

All these events may seem small but felt like such a huge gift to me this week, even though I've never found it hard to make conversation with strangers (part of the job) and have a certain amount of confidence, moving away from where you grew up is tough. Yes most of the people in my village have known each other for years but Ive realised it doesn't matter, people (most of them anyway) are naturally interested and want to like and be liked by other people and it just takes someone to make the first move, say hi and there you go, a relationship starts and a friendship can blossom from there.

Even though Husband is away working today, the picture below captures my (however brief) feeling of contentment this afternoon with the little ones bonding have a cosy time (with the cat) watching Annie.*

* This didn't last long, it descending into CHAOS when he then started pummelling her with cushions, me shouting and he got put on the naughty step

BUT I've decided to start blogging again. Things feel a bit different; I've changed (well I've lost just over a stone), I'm no longer new to my village, my kiddiwicks are older (obvs), I've made fantastic new friends, joined the PTA, moved (mentally) away from some not so good friends, I've just taken part in my first 5K with army obstacles type run, joined twitter (I was opposed to it before, don't ask) and have some great things to look forward to.

However, I'm still very much stumbling and in a moment of realisation this morning thought perhaps this is what I need. A place to outpour my happiness and frustration, inspiration and questions. I'm also on instagram and have taken some quite arty shots of squirrels so I can show them off here too.

To get me going I thought I'd write a quick fire list of aims for the coming year in order to inspire me to post as much as possible:

1. Write the children's book I keep starting and send it to someone, somewhere to have a peek
2. Win the fight on limescale in my kitchen (its a hard water area)
3. Continue my ignoring approach of my 5 year olds' sudden vocal skills equal to a surly teenager (every other tactic has just resulted in my demise)
4. Be kinder to Husband and not resent his every moment away from the home
5. Build up my followers
6. Watch TV less (though obvious exceptions to the rule are XFactor, Easties, anything with Nigella and Kirsty, anything to do with real life A&E/Midwifery and Celebrity Jungle/Big Brother when they return)
7. Link up my blog with twitter
8. Be more patient (this is just one to make the number of aims even, I don't like odd numbers)

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

I did it - I have braved my first baby and toddler morning in the village. I woke up with a weird feeling this morning until I remembered what I was about to embark on. Now, I used to be quite a responsible/organised person regularly take hundreds of total strangers to foreign lands after only just briefly introducing myself to them at airports but never the less I was nervous about walking into a room of mothers and children this morning.

It was freezing but in my bid to get a bit fitter (e.g. not getting out of breath running up and down the stairs) I walked to the village hall. It was bitter and as my nose runs at the slightest drop in temperature and I have another cold (ta Gorgeous Girl!) it was streaming. Disgusting, sorry, but trying to create a cool and composed aura whilst constantly and noisily blowing my bright red honk, barking like a 50 cigs a dayer and my hair all frizzed from the drizzly wind was not the "Ooooh she looks nice I want to be friends with her" entrance I was after. I'd even taken time over my outfit, aiming for trendy but not too trendy and approachable but not too mumsy and had asked Husband what he thought Beautiful Boy should wear for his 'debut' appearance (he humoured me). But after triple checking the sign to say I'd come to the right place and wasn't about to walk into to a private childrens birthday party or AA meeting or something I took a deep breath (literally) and went in........

......And BB was fast asleep in his pram. I thought he'd been a bit quiet but we've recently taken to letting him view outwards in the pram and in my selfish state forgot that this was actually about making him some friends and that it would be beneficial if he was actually awake and able to interact! Arriving at a mother and baby group with kind of no baby to pretend to talk to or show off or help you make conversations with is a bit awkward to say the least.

I fussed around my pram for a bit, taking off my layers, blowing my nose and trying to plan where to sit when I luckily recognised one person there who has also moved here and she introduced to the 'leader' and I got a coffee. I then met a great mum who has got 22 month old triplets and a 7 year old. It made me feel a bit guilty that I'd come with GG at nursery and only a sleeping 10 month old to look after! Luckily BB woke up after a while (I hadn't prodded him honest) and he happily crawled about, got bashed on the nose by a big girl with a wooden cot and ate a few crumbs off the floor before he got his own biscuit and had a lovely sing song at the end - he seemed to love every second.

It was fab and I feel a bit proud of myself silly as that seems even to myself and I can't wait for next week, I will probably work out our outfits the night before again though and if it's cold I might drive.....

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

I've had blog block lately and I've found it hard to find inspiration. Think I've just been settling into the house but also had a lot of emotional, rubbish, relationship (not of the husband variety thank goodness - he and me are all good) blurgh to deal with. In short, arranging to Baptise our BB and choosing Godparents = upset (to put it mildly) within Husband's family. I've therefore been a bit (!) grumpy and intolerant of anyone who seems to be being rude to me.

GG is unwell which has been a rubbish start to halfterm, she has a huge mouth ulcer which she's never had before and means she is eating even more like a sparrow and in addition to a normal sniffle I think maybe the stress of moving and trying to go without night time pullups (a short lived venture last week) might have had it's toll. BB is teething again and so once everyone was seated breakfast began today with a pre-meal cocktail of Calpol for all (I would have had a G&T but it was a bit early so put up with a lick of the spoons).

I've been fantasising about lounging around in pj'd bliss this week but everyday so far GG wants to get up and go and the crack of dawn (regardless of being unwell), begging me to get her dressed and asking what we're doing today and being the grumpiest troll on earth when it's not exactly what she wants to do. I can't wait to remind her of this in about 10 years time when I'll be dragging her out of her pit on a Saturday (or just hoovering her room to wake her up just like my mum did to us!). I'm exhausted already and shouting far too much.

I've not managed to go to any groups in the village yet as they've coincided with visits from my friends and I'm a bit nervous but aiming to go for it next week - BB is in desperate need of an alternative role model to a dress and princess obsessed, grumpy, flame haired girl. The trouble is he loves her so much already and crawls around after her even kissing her feet (I kid you not!) when standing up at her on the sofa.

We're going to attempt the farm this afternoon, even though they're both a bit under the weather being amongst other people might make me and GG a bit less inclined to strop and I'm also going to try and have a hair cut tomorrow (whit whoo - steady on I hear you cry!).

Oh I nearly forgot! I am now officially unemployed as I handed in my notice (I was on maternity leave). It feels weird but a huuuge weight of my shoulders as I was dreading doing it but knew the time would come once we'd moved house. Husband has been brill and not outwardly panicking at the responsibility of solely financing the family. So I am now officially a Stay At Home Mummy..........GULP.

Sunday, 6 February 2011

We're in! All settled into our new home and I love it....let the villagey life commence.....

In honour of our new abode here are my top 4 tips on moving home:

1. Ply the removal men with tea and coffee and a tin of cadbury biscuits (cleverly squirrelled away from Christmas) so that even though you have bombarded them with nonsense, girly wittering anxious phonecalls during the previous week they will still collect, transport and deposit your cherished belongings with care.

2. Have the fizzy orange multivitamin tablets to hand in your 'emergency pack' so that by the end of a week of fast food (Pizza, McDonalds, Pizza again and then an Indian constituted my evening dining Weds - Fri last week) you can at least feel that you have had something healthy.

3. When your cats arrive home from the Cat Hotel make sure they go out exploring together so that even though you have day dreamed of them 'going awol' you aren't jumping at the sound of the newly installed cat flap waiting for one of them to return and calling to Husband "is that him???" every 5 minutes (this is what my mum must have felt like waiting for me to come home from the pub back in the day).

4. Fight the urge to drive past your old home to see how New Owner is doing and knock on the door to say "How do you like it? Have you changed anything yet? Didn't my Mum and I clean it so well for you? This is where we brought our babies home from the hospital to and I laboured in that bath. This is where Husband's Dad helped us board the loft and he's not here anymore so won't know our new house. Please don't rip down the beautiful rose printed Cath Kidston wallpaper from GG's bedroom without a second thought. Finally please take care of our house and love it like we did (except the noisy gangs outside in the summer either snogging or fighting almost on our front garden, the fact that our pizza delivery man got attacked down the road on his way to us one day and the not so good school catchment area)*".

* I wouldn't say this bit as he doesn't have children yet anyway to worry about catchment areas.

Friday, 28 January 2011

Here is my week 4 post for Reasons to be Cheerful as hosted by the lovely Mich at Mummy from the Heart:

A biiiit of a stretch for me after my GRUMP post yesterday but am deffo feeling a mite chirpier so heregoes:

1. We move in 6 days (gulp) but envisaging my furniture, lovely new sofa cushions and GG and BB running around in the new house is keeping me going!

2. I had a wonderful lunch with a friend today which stretched into more of a day (albeit with 3 children in tow between us). It entailed a lovely combination of baby talk (she is wonderfully pregnant), food (scampi, chips and mushy peas followed by a taster dessert of eton mess, lemon tart and profiteroles - who could ever not be cheerful about eating out?) plus the planning of a trip to London and talking about everything else under the sun. I haven't done any housework (my bed is still unmade - oops better do that at least before Husband comes home) or packing! Plus I think Husband and I are having a take away tonight - RESULT.

3. I heard Adele on the Radio1 Live Lounge yesterday and last night downloaded her new album 21. If you have not yet got this album please get it - it is amazing. The track 'Do you Remember' made me cry at breakfast time this morning - it's a masterpiece. I love getting new music.