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Good day, denizens of OC.net! Per our tradition, the forum will shut down for Clean Monday, beginning around 9pm Sunday evening (2/18) and ending around 9pm Monday evening (2/19). In the spirit of the coming Forgiveness Sunday, I ask you to forgive me for the sins I have committed against you. At the end of Great and Holy Week, the Forum will also shut down for Holy Friday and Holy Saturday (times TBA).

Well the thing I need advice with is how to get over someone. Like two years ago, there was this one girl that I absolutely loved. She was like my best friend and we both had romantic feelings for each other. We would literally talk to each other 24/7, spend as much time together as we could and when we could not be together we would be on the phone all of the time or text messaging each other. We knew everything about each other; our deepest fears, embarassing things, ambitions etc. No one knew me better than she did and no one knew her better than I did. But, for some reason I cannot remember, we got into a bad fight, and so, we stopped talking to each other for like a year. But then after that year went by, we finally started talking again and saw each other a couple times. But, now it feels like we are absolute strangers. That special bond we had is entirely gone and destroyed; it is like we've separated into two absolutely different people like strangers that can barely hold a conversation with each other now. Oftentimes I find myself scolding myself for allowing us to have that fight and screwing this all up.

Actually, this IS something I have a lot of experience with and have sound advice for. Unfortunately, all the advice for this sucks. That's just the breaks.

Strong emotional attachments trigger pleasure centers in your brain and release chemicals. The closer you are to having gone through puberty the stronger these chemicals will be. There is one surefire cure for this...time. Sorry bro, but time is the only cure. If I calculate correctly this happened when you were 14. The first girl ever to shoot me down was when I was 15. That hurt horribly for months and I would have the pain resurface YEARS after the fact. But it will go away. 12 years and 30 days have passed since then (yeah, I know it's pathetic that I know that...) and I honestly can tell you I feel nothing. Actually, I probably haven't felt the pain from this particular instance in seven or eight years, but you get my point. This girl of yours will probably never be forgotten, nor will the pain be forgotten, but there will come a point where you WILL NOT feel the pain anymore.

As for future occurrences, you probably have a good number of them ahead of you. Two things make the pain lessen each time. First is age. As you get older the chemicals become weaker. The hormones die down. I still get depressed but it is a bit less painful each time, and none of the recent rejections have felt as bad for as long as that first girl. Second - experience. The more times you get hurt by a girl the more you get deadened to it. You will emotionally invest less and less quickly and rejections will soften in their effect.

So keep your chin up. Life will always suck, but you will get used to it and won't let it affect you!

(BTW, none of this will probably do you any good, but that's how it goes. Plenty of people gave me this info when I was your age and it didn't help a damn bit. But now being older, I am thankful that I received the advice, so now I am paying them back through you, and in eleven years I expect you to do the same! )

Your prize is that I will change my avatar to which ever Irish Saint that starts with a 'P' and has a feast day in March that you would like, and I will donate $10 to the terrorist organization of your choosing...(not really)!

I tried to find a Saint that matched those criteria, other than St. Patrick, but came up empty I really wanted that prize! (some came close though, like St. Piran, who was maybe from Ireland, and maybe has a feast day in March, but I'm not sure if he is glorified by any Orthodox; another one was St. Psalmodius, who was from Ireland and also possibly has a feast day in March, and again I'm not sure if the Orthodox glorify him).

You want me to change my avatar to St. Patrick? Fair enough. It's a bit overdone now, seeing as like four or five other people all have the same avatar, but oh well. It's the rules of the game!

+ good looks (whatever *that* means), intelligence, wit, wisdom, gracefulness, lots of $$, fast muscle cars ( ), humility (but not *too* much), pride (but not *too* much), not farting in public (at least not when you're with or near a woman you want to attract), a willingness to watch "chick flicks"....need I go on?

+ good looks (whatever *that* means), intelligence, wit, wisdom, gracefulness, lots of $$, fast muscle cars ( ), humility (but not *too* much), pride (but not *too* much), not farting in public (at least not when you're with or near a woman you want to attract), a willingness to watch "chick flicks"....need I go on?

So what J Michael is saying here is you basically have to be me to get women.

Logged

“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

+ good looks (whatever *that* means), intelligence, wit, wisdom, gracefulness, lots of $$, fast muscle cars ( ), humility (but not *too* much), pride (but not *too* much), not farting in public (at least not when you're with or near a woman you want to attract), a willingness to watch "chick flicks"....need I go on?

So what J Michael is saying here is you basically have to be me to get women.

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life. We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals. She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off. "Nope. Probably not." I said. We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends." She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures. Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier. I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life. We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals. She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off. "Nope. Probably not." I said. We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends." She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures. Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier. I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Let's see the photos.

Glad to hear it went good besides the religious differences.

Logged

“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life. We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals. She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off. "Nope. Probably not." I said. We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends." She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures. Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier. I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Fwiw I've always had a man-crush on you! But glad the date didn't sink like the titanic>>>

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life. We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals. She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off. "Nope. Probably not." I said. We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends." She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures. Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier. I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Fwiw I've always had a man-crush on you! But glad the date didn't sink like the titanic>>>

If it was as small as the ark maybe.

Logged

“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

Only pray for me, that God would give me both inward and outward strength, that I may not only speak, but truly will; and that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one. St.Ignatius of Antioch.Epistle to the Romans.

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life. We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals. She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off. "Nope. Probably not." I said. We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends." She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures. Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier. I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life. We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals. She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off. "Nope. Probably not." I said. We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends." She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures. Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier. I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Vamrat thats wonderful and a great start , you guys took out the stress factor and just focused on having fun , that made it possible to enjoy your time together. very cool!

Logged

To God be the Glory in all things! Amen!

Only pray for me, that God would give me both inward and outward strength, that I may not only speak, but truly will; and that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one. St.Ignatius of Antioch.Epistle to the Romans.

Only pray for me, that God would give me both inward and outward strength, that I may not only speak, but truly will; and that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one. St.Ignatius of Antioch.Epistle to the Romans.

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life. We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals. She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off. "Nope. Probably not." I said. We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends." She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures. Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier. I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Vamrat thats wonderful and a great start , you guys took out the stress factor and just focused on having fun , that made it possible to enjoy your time together. very cool!

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life. We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals. She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off. "Nope. Probably not." I said. We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends." She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures. Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier. I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Let's see the photos.

Glad to hear it went good besides the religious differences.

Are you and I friends on Facebook?

PM me your link.

I may have tried to add you.

Logged

“There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.”

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures. Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier. I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Conquer evil men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of legality to shame by your compassion. With the afflicted be afflicted in mind. Love all men, but keep distant from all men.—St. Isaac of Syria

Oh, and she said that I need to update my dating site pictures. Most people put their good ones up and are a few points uglier. I, on the other hand am much hotter in real life than in my outdated pictures!

Conquer evil men by your gentle kindness, and make zealous men wonder at your goodness. Put the lover of legality to shame by your compassion. With the afflicted be afflicted in mind. Love all men, but keep distant from all men.—St. Isaac of Syria

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life. We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals. She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off. "Nope. Probably not." I said. We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends." She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life. We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals. She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off. "Nope. Probably not." I said. We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends." She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

To all my well wishers, I've just had one of the best dates of my life. We got about half an hour in and discovered a major difference in religious principals. She said, "So, yeah, this probably isn't..." and trailed off. "Nope. Probably not." I said. We sat in awkward silence for a moment or two and I said, "Well, we can go our separate ways and never talk again or we can make the most of dinner and get to know one another a little more and become friends." She perked up immediately and we talked for almost an hour more.

#'s 1 and 2 I've actually dated. I don't consider movie stars or whathaveyou as proper full blown lust. To properly lust you have to really want to complete the action, as it were. I don't concentrate on impossibilities (i.e. me and Sandra Bullock...not happening. Ever.) Thus, it's not really lust. It's still sinful, but I'm not sure if it's lust.

Also note that the prettiest woman I've ever seen is not one that I have lusted after. She was married and Orthodox. I have some boundaries.

Also note that the prettiest woman I've ever seen is not one that I have lusted after. She was married and Orthodox. I have some boundaries.

This is good. The world needs men like you. Men of conscience. Men of principle. Men who can sleep at night.* The world also needs men like me, who would lust after such a woman with the fury of a thousand gods. If there were no wicked men like me, how would anyone discern the goodness of men like you? You're welcome.

(I stole this phrasing from somewhere else, but men like me don't give credit to those who deserve it)

I found my #1 for me (just wish she wasn't married, had several kids, lived quite a distance from me, wasn't a former tharapist of mine, and... er... wait... I've said too much already ). I mean vamrat's...

I found my #1 for me (just wish she wasn't married, had several kids, lived quite a distance from me, wasn't a former tharapist of mine, and... er... wait... I've said too much already ). I mean vamrat's...

I don't even want to know which sea monster you intend to dredge up to defame my choice in women...

I found my #1 for me (just wish she wasn't married, had several kids, lived quite a distance from me, wasn't a former tharapist of mine, and... er... wait... I've said too much already ). I mean vamrat's...

In that case, I refer you back to my reply #706 above . If I'm not mistaken (who, me??) I'm pretty sure the pic is amartin's. Dead-ringer for Rosie O.