View Message

while i'm not new I am returning. I was wondering what you think of this prolouge that I wrote in like 30 mins. be honest please............................................................

Amy sat on her living room couch out in the middle of her soon to be old front yard. Her feet were slipped out of a pair of plastic flip flops resting on the fresh green grass. She took in a deep breath smelling the salty, sweet warm air of southern Florida. She was sad because soon her parents and siblings were moving to Denver Colorado. In a few hours, she would be leaving the only home she had ever known. She could hear the men moving the heavy furniture, and her two younger siblings roller blading in the street who unlike Amy they were excited about the move. In her hand she was fingering a necklace with a silver pendent which was engraved in a design of an eye. This was her favorite necklace, it was hung on a simple leather string and symbolized many things for her. As the warm breeze blew the palm tree above her head, shading some parts of her face that were once in the sun Amy rubbed the tweed fabric on the couch noting its lines. She was beginning to grow impatient and worried that he wasn’t coming. Suddenly she here’s him “Amy! He yelled as he was walking up the sidewalk. She smiles and searches with her feet for her flip flops. Once she found them and had slip both of them on she stood up to great her best childhood friend. “sorry I’m late, my mom wouldn’t let me go until the dishes were done” Amy was a little ticked off, not a Gabe but at his mother which always seemed to be gone, and left Gabe with a long list of chores and too look after his three younger brothers. “Okay Henry, go play with Aaron” as she heard the sound of a seven year old running towards the streets leaving Gabe and Amy alone. “So uh, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about? Inquired Gabe “I want to give you something, Can we go somewhere more privet?” she could feel Gabe starring at her “uh where exactly?” he asked “I don’t know how about the tree house?” Amy asked “yeah that would be nice to go up there one more time.” Gabe said nostalgically Gabe took her hand and together the navigated the obstacle course of her front yard, walked into the backyard, and found the one and only tree and began to climb. Once safely in inside the warped, slightly damp tree house. Amy could feel the twin to her necklace glowing with warmth inside the her right jean pocket. She was about to share the biggest secret of her life. ...............................................

Amy is blind her family is moving, what's specail about Amy is that there is this alternate universe where people with disbility have specail powers. the necklace is the key and every person who has these powers can bring one person into this world with them they are called a messager. Gabe doesn't beleive her because she doesn't have time to show him before they have to part ways. and yes she is in love with him. So what do you think of the idea. Idealy i would wright a series of books one of which would focus on one character with the disability and the struggles they face both in this world and in the alternet universe

This message was edited by the author on May 29, 2012 at 5:44:40 PM

Because this message is archived you cannot respond to it.

Messages in this thread:

what do you think of this prolouge of a story? - tazzz May 29 2012, 5:43:32 PM