Date: Sat, 13 Mar 2010 16:57:48 -0600
From: Keith Yates
Subject: Devyn's Struggle 6
This is a fictional story involving sexual acts between two or more men.
If this offends you, why are you here? If you are under the legal age to
read sexually explicit material then do not read any further. This story
in no way represents any person living or dead. Any resemblance to any
real person is purely coincidental.
For those of you who have read my previous stories The Coach's Office
(Athletic section), Jake's Tale (College Section) and Rick's Barn (Rural
section) you will find this story a bit different than those. I hope you
will give it a chance and if it isn't what you are use to from me then
don't worry as there will be additions to Jake's Tale and Rick's Barn that
you might find more interesting.
Character List
Devyn Roberts -- Main character
Judy Roberts -- Devyn's Mom
Frank Roberts -- Devyn's Dad
Brent Watson -- The boy across the street and Devyn's new friend
Linda Watson -- Brent's Mom
Richard Watson -- Brent's dad
Sue -- Devyn's Girl Friend
Tracy -- Brent's Girlfriend
Matt -- Architect at Devyn's father's construction site who Frank tried to
fire because he is gay.
Devyn's Struggle
Chapter 6
Devyn wasn't sure how things went between Brent and Tracy. He didn't ask
him about it nor has Brent volunteered any information. Devyn had thought
about asking Sue as to whether Tracy had said anything, but he didn't want
to appear to be interested in the other guys business. He just continued
to wonder if Brent and Tracy had even gone as far as he and Sue had and had
been able to climax with Tracy.
Devyn hoped that maybe Brent had gone as far with Tracy as he had with Sue.
But then, there was a part of him that just hoped his friend hadn't. There
was a small part of him that he was jealous that Tracy could have what he
couldn't. Devyn pulled his mind away from his thoughts of Brent and sex,
and back to his father who was sitting in the truck next to him. His Dad
was telling him something about the construction site they were going to
visit. It was the same one they had been to several weeks ago, where Devyn
had met Matt for the first time.
Devyn would have liked to run into the guy again, but his Dad had fired him
the last time Devyn was there. He would probably never see this gay man
again. But Devyn wondered why his Dad hated Matt so much. How could
Matt's being gay have any effect on his work?
They pulled into the parking lot next to another truck. As he pushed the
truck's gear into park, Devyn heard his Dad swear.
"What's wrong?" Devyn asked.
"Oh that fucking faggot is here. Why the hell he has to be here on a
Saturday...the pervert seems to be here all the damn time. No matter what
we do we cannot get rid of the queer."
"You mean that guy you fired is still working here?"
Devyn was surprised. He knew that his Dad had fired the guy. Devyn
remembered what he had said to him at the time, so what could have happened
to keep him here.
"The fucker has a signed contract. We cannot get rid of is faggot ass. We
are stuck with the little queen."
"Well, he seemed okay to me," Devyn said bravely.
"What!" Frank barked with sudden shock in his tone.
"I um, well, he seemed nice when we talked."
"He seemed nice. He seemed nice. Fuck Devyn he wanted in your pants.
Don't you understand that? He is sick. He is a pervert. You need to just
stay away from his kind. You don't want to have anything to do with him."
"I don't think he is like that. I mean, he seemed fairly normal."
"Don't give me that shit. He is a queer. You don't want to have anything
to do with someone like that."
"Dad he is still a person whether he is gay or not. I don't understand..."
"You don't have to understand. It is not normal for a guy to want...what
he does. Just put him out of your mind he is not worth thinking about.
Now come on and I will show you what I want you to do while I do that
paperwork."
Devyn had been working on the tasks his father assigned him for about
thirty minutes. He was lost in all of his thoughts about Matt and Brent
and his own sexuality. He wondered if his father would hate him as much as
his father seemed to hate Matt if he knew Devyn too might be gay.
Devyn jumped when he heard a voice from behind him.
"Hello!" Matt said. "I'm sorry didn't mean to startle you,"
"Oh um, I was just um..." Devyn was glancing around nervously hoping his
Dad wouldn't see him talking to Matt.
"Don't worry about your Dad. He's in his office. He can't see us from
here, but I will go if you want me to go."
"Um, no, that is okay. I um need a break anyway. I um hope it won't get
you into any trouble though."
"Don't worry about it Devyn. I can handle anything any of the guys here
can dish out."
There was a long silence and Matt could tell that Devyn wanted to talk, but
he was not sure how to get the young man to open up to him. He decided to
just ask him questions and see if maybe Devyn would take the conversation
in the direction he wanted when he was ready.
"So how have you been? Have you been thinking about going into
architecture when you graduate from high school?"
"I don't really know what I want to do. I um, just need to graduate first.
I will think about it when I get out of high school."
"It is never too early to start thinking about where you want to go in
life," Matt said.
"Um, sure," Devyn said. Then he decided to ask Matt about a couple of
things that were on his mind. "Um, Matt, can I ask you something?"
"Sure." Matt responded.
"Um, what's it like being gay?" Devyn asked and felt his face grow warm.
"Oh wow man, you ask the hard questions don't you?"
"You don't have to answer if you don't' want to answer."
Matt moved closer to Devyn and took a seat next to the teenager on the pile
of wood that Devyn has been sorting through for his Dad.
"I don't mind answering, but it is different for every gay guy or gay
woman. I mean it is about as unique as each person is."
"Does everyone treat you the way my Dad does. Is everyone as..." Devyn's
voice trailed off not putting into words the way his father treated Matt.
"A lot of people are closed minded about being gay. A great deal of them
doesn't want to even try to understand and tolerate anything that doesn't
fit into their definition of normal."
"So it is rough not being normal?"
"Devyn," Matt's voice took a serious tone. "I am normal. I am still just
as much of a person as you are as your Dad is. I have the same feelings,
the same hopes, the same dreams as most other men."
"Sorry. I didn't mean..."
"It's okay," Matt said reaching over and giving Devyn's shoulder a squeeze.
"I'm just curious about what it is like. I mean I don't know much about
being gay or anything. Just by what I've seen on TV."
"Well, TV tends to take everything to the extreme. I mean some gay guys do
act as flaming as they portray on TV, but just as many if not more act
pretty much like I do. Some gay guys like to watch sports, play sports and
generally kick back and relax and have a beer just like straight guys do.
Of course, there are those gay guys that like to dress up in drag and put
on a show."
"See, I don't understand why a guy wants to do that. I don't have any
desire to dress up like a girl."
"Oh, does that mean you have some other gay tendencies?"
"What! No, no I aint. I mean no I didn't mean that the way it sounded.
Shit no!" Devyn flamed up while trying to avoid this awkward moment.
"Hey calm down," Matt said evenly. "I didn't mean to accuse you of
anything."
"Sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that. I um, just don't want you to get
the wrong idea."
Matt looked directly into Devyn's soft brown eyes. He looked deep into
Devyn's soul before he began speaking again.
"Devyn, it;s okay to be gay. It isn't something you have to hide from.
For me, being gay is part of me, but it doesn't define me. It's a small
part that helps to make up the whole person. It doesn't control your life
or your future."
"Have you tried to be . . . nor . . ." Devyn almost used the word normal
again, but caught himself and used, "straight?"
"When I was younger, I dated a couple of girls, but I never felt for them
what I seemed to feel for guys. I was probably about your age when I gave
up trying to be something I wasn't and became myself."
"But how did you know you were gay? What was it that made you realize that
you weren't straight?"
"Well, the big thing was that when I was around girls I didn't have any
real sexual attraction to them. Plus there were some guys I knew that I
did have a great deal of sexual attraction for. I seemed to connect with
guys on a different level than girls. I wanted to touch them and kiss them
and well do a lot more with them than I ever did with any girl.
"If I tell you something, can you keep it just between . . . the two of us?
I mean not tell my Dad."
"Yes, anything you tell me will stay right here, but I have one
stipulation. If I believe that telling your Dad might keep you from harm,
then I will tell him. I won't let something happen to you because I kept
quiet when I shouldn't have."
Devyn thought about Matt's stipulation for a long moment before he began
speaking again.
"I have been dating this girl for a while now. The other night we um, we
um..."
"You had sex," Matt supplied.
"Yeah. She thought it was great. She thought I was great."
Matt watched the kid's face grow more red as he talked. He understood how
embarrassing it could be to talk to someone about sex. He kept quiet and
let Devyn proceed at his own pace.
"I um didn't enjoy it as much as she did. I um, I didn't um, you know."
"You didn't cum." Matt supplied.
"Yeah."
Matt's large strong hand moved to the back of Devyn's neck. He felt the
soft hair and then soft skin as he gently massage the tension he found in
Devyn's neck.
"Don't be embarrassed Devyn. All guys need someone to talk to about this
stuff. It can be pretty much impossible to talk to a parent about sex and
sometimes friends don't always have the experience to help when it comes to
some of these things."
"Do you think there is something wrong with me. I mean what kind of guy
can't cum?"
"It could've been nerves. Was it your first time?" Matt asked.
"Yeah, it was."
"Then it was probably nerves. Normally at your age guys could hump a tree
and shoot a load."
Devyn was shocked by Matt's bluntness, but he also felt good that this guy
was being straight with him about this topic.
"Do you think I might be, that I could be, that maybe I am..." Devyn was
afraid to say the word. He was afraid that using the term gay would make
it true about himself.
"Gay," Matt said filling in the blank for the struggling teenager. "Only
you can answer that question. Only you can look into your heart and see
what is there."
"I have a friend, a really good friend. We do just about everything
together and sometimes when I am around him, when we are around each
other..."
"Yes," Matt prompted.
"We um, we get hard and um, we have um..."
"You can say whatever it is you want Devyn. I will not be shocked.
Remember I am gay and have done just about everything you can imagine with
my partner."
"What have you done?" Devyn asked wanting to move the topic off of him and
Brent and onto Matt.
Matt smiled down at the boldness.
"That's a very personal question. I'm not sure it would be appropriate of
me to answer it. I mean what we do in our bedroom or our bathroom or our
kitchen or our...well you get the idea."
Matt's eyes were grinning when Devyn looked up into them. He could tell
the other guy was teasing him and that Matt wasn't offended by what Devyn
had asked.
"Well, Brent, that's my friend's name, we have um kind of shot with each
other. The first time it was completely accidental...or well unexpected.
But we both liked it so much and we have um...we um...gawd you can't tell
anyone this, but we kissed."
"Oh, I see. Well, you and Brent must be very close if you are working
through these feelings together."
"So am I? Am I like you?" Devyn asked struggling.
"Do you mean gay?" Matt asked for clarification.
"Yes," Devyn said softly
"I think you probably are, but I could be wrong. You might just be
experimenting, which is completely normal for a guy your age." Matt's
voice was steady as he spoke. He understood that Devyn was struggling with
his sexuality and had no one else to turn too for help with it.
"I don't want to be gay...I don't want to be." Devyn's voice was firm but
there was confusion in his eyes.
"I know you don't. I didn't want to be either, but now I wouldn't change
if I could."
"You wouldn't?" Devyn was more than a bit surprised.
"Nope."
"Why not?" Devyn asked Matt.
Devyn couldn't understand a reason why Matt would not change to be straight
to be like the other guys.
"Because if I wasn't gay, then I wouldn't have Bryan, and I love him. I
wouldn't give him up for anything. He is my other half. He has completed
me like no one else could. He is my soul mate."
"Wow! But wouldn't it be easier for you if you weren't gay? Wouldn't it
make life more simple if Bryan was a woman and you could have children and
a family?"
"If Bryan was a woman, then he wouldn't be Bryan. I love Bryan as he is.
I love him with all my heart flaws and all. As far as the family, well
Bryan is my family and if we want children, then we will find a way to have
them."
"Really?"
"Yelp, if we decide we want to expand our family, then we will. We can
either find someone willing to carry one of our babies or we can adopt.
There are lots of ways to have children and family."
"I guess so." Devyn's voice was soft as he tried to compile all of the
information he was getting.
"Family is more than just blood you know. It is more than just a man and a
woman. Family is having people around you that you love. It is letting
those people into your heart and letting them love you."
"I guess so. I um, just don't know. I don't know what I feel. I don't
know how I am supposed to feel."
"Devyn, you are supposed to feel exactly how you feel."
Matt grasped Devyn's shoulder firmly. He squeezed as he spoke to the teen.
His heart was going out to this young man who was feeling so many things
that Matt himself had once felt. He wanted to help him, but he knew that
Only Devyn could figure out his heart. Only Devyn could find the path that
would lead him to his true heart's desire.
"You are young Devyn. You have plenty of time to figure out who you are
and where you want to go. I know your body is sending surges into your
brain, but you don't have to act upon them until you are ready. Take it
just one day at a time for now. Give yourself time to come to terms with
your own sexual orientation."
"You are a great guy Matt. I really appreciate you taking the time to talk
to me. I, um, don't know how to thank you."
"You just did."
On an impulse, Devyn moved close to Matt and slid his arms around the man.
His face was against Matt as he hugged the caring man.
Matt returned Devyn's hug and felt a warm sensation of caring slide through
his body. He was glad he had met Devyn. He was glad they had found each
other and that maybe Matt had been able to help Devyn understand himself
better.
"Just what the fuck is going on here?" Frank bellowed from behind them.
"Dad, I um, we um, were, um," Devyn didn't know how to explain what they
had been doing. He could only see the fury on Frank's face.
Matt released Devyn and turned to face Frank. He saw the red face, the
vane on Frank's forehead pulsing with the man's anger. There was no doubt
in Matt's mind that if Frank had a gun, he would have shot Matt.
"Your son and I were just talking," Matt said.
"That didn't fucking look like talking to me. That looked like you were
trying to rape my son. I think you're fucking trying to use my kid to
satisfy your perverted needs."
"Dad, that isn't..."
Frank didn't hear Devyn or let him finish speaking. His eyes were filled
with what he thought of as an un-natural sight. His blood was rapidly
pulsing through is vanes and his blood pressure was through the roof.
"I want you off my fucking job site. I want your queer ass off my site
right now."
"Okay, Okay, I don't want to cause Devyn any problems. Just relax Frank."
"Get out of here. Get the fuck out of here."
Matt began to leave. He hesitated only a moment or two to look Devyn in
the eyes. If the kid was scared of his father's rage, he wasn't showing
it. Matt didn't want to leave Devyn alone with Frank. He was scared for
the kid, but his presence would only enraged Frank more.
Devyn tried to pretend that everything was okay. He was worried for matt.
His father seemed to be a completely different person right then. It was a
person Devyn did not know and had never suspected even existed. He could
not believe that Frank took the moment when Matt and he were hugging to
come across them.
Frank moved closer to Devyn. He seemed to loom feet above his son. His
eyes were blazing with a mixture of disgust and hatred.
"I told you. I fucking told you to keep away from that pervert. I warned
you about what he is and then I find you like that. My son will not be
some fucking faggot. You will not talk to him ever again. You will not
ever see him again. Am I making myself clear?
Devyn wasn't exactly afraid of his father. He didn't believe that his
father would hit him. Devyn could see something in Frank's eyes, though,
something that he didn't understand. He knew that if his father believe
Devyn was gay, their father and son relationship would be over. Devyn knew
he would lose his father's love and that was the thing that scared Devyn.
"Okay Dad. There was really nothing going on you know."Devyn's voice was
soft and mild and it helped calm down his father.
"I just don't want you turning out like that, that, person."
"Do you really think being gay is a choice he made?" Devyn asked although
he suspected the answer.
"Of course it is. He isn't normal. He is a freak. He will burn in hell
one day for the things he has done." Frank's voice showed that the man had
no doubt about the fate of Matt's soul.
Devyn wondered if his father was right. He wondered if Matt and people
like him would be punished for being the way they were. He wondered if he
would be punished for having done the things he had done with Brent.
Copyright 2010 by Farmerboykeith@hotmail.com
Okay guys, there is another chapter in Devyn's struggle. I hope you
enjoyued this chapter. Thanks again Matt F for your help. Thanks Steve
for your encouragement.
Your thoughts and comments are always welcome. Please send them to
farmerboykeith@hotmail.com
K Y