Equipping Couples To Succeed

July 01, 2015

I am a big "gospel rap" fan. I know that does not sound like something a preacher should say but it is true. As a child of the late 80's and 90's, I grew up listening to Run DMC, LL Cool J, Tupac and Biggie Smalls. However, once I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I stopped listening to those guys. The vulgar language became too much for me to handle. On the other hand, while I enjoyed listening to contemporary gospel and Christian music, I desperately missed the head bobbing beats and memorable hooks of rap music.

Several years ago, a neighbor introduced me to a consortium of artists rapping about our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ. I was instantly hooked. The beats were live. The hooks were once again memorable. And the language was both clean and inspiring.

One such song is "Say I Won't" by my favorite artists Lecrae and Andy Mineo. The hook to the song says "Say I won't (why y'all scared to be different?). Say I won't (why y'all scared to be different)".

I love this song as it dares Christians to be different. We have been called to be in the world but not of the world. We have been called to tell a dying world that the acquisition of money and power should not be the primary goal of our lives. We have been called to reject the pressure of political correctness and preach the Word in season and out of season. We have been called to illuminate the virtues of righteous living. How can we be a light in the midst of darkness if we are walking in the same darkness ourselves? How can we be the salt of the earth if we are unwilling to take a stand for our Christian beliefs? We have to live differently!!!

If the song "Say I Wont" would have existed over 2000 years ago, it could have been the theme song for John the Baptist. John was different. His clothes were made of camel's hair. His food was locusts and honey. (Matthew 3:4) And John's message was different from that of the Pharisees and Sadducees as well. He was not concerned with maintaining the status quo and traditions. He was interested in saving souls. John boldly proclaimed "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not begin to say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. 9 The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire."That does not sound like the politically correct messages that spew from many of our pulpits today. John was different.

What about you? Are you scared to be different? Are you scared to resist the pressure of political correctness for the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Are you willing to live differently for the sake of your marriage and your relationship with the Lord? The ways of the world are detrimental to our marriages. The world encourages us to be overly expressive individuals only concerned about ourselves. It is not interested in us listening to and learning one another. Instead, the world wants us to have a microwave relationship that focuses on satisfying our own individual needs. Unfortunately, microwave relationships dissolve just as fast as they are cooked. Lasting love requires patience, sacrifice, forgiveness, grace, mercy and perseverance. These biblical principles can only be slow cooked in a crock pot.

In 1 Corinthians 13, the Apostle Paul says "love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails". (1 Cor 13:4-8)You have to be different to love this way. While it takes time and effort to learn how to love this way, it is worth it. Try it and Watch Your Marriage Succeed!!!

June 13, 2015

What is salvation? That is the question we recently asked our Sunday school class. After receiving various responses, we turned to John 17:3 where the bible says "Now this is eternal life that they may know you, the only true God and Jesus Christ whom you have sent."

Did you notice the term "know you"? To know someone means you learn them, their ways, their thoughts, ideas and perspectives. Jesus is teaching that as we accept Him as our Lord and Savior, we enter into a relationship with the Father. Like a marriage, this relationship is cultivated via communication, bilateral trust and quality time. As we do these things, we learn the various nuances of our spouse which leads us into an intimate fulfilling relationship.

We see the power of relationship as we look at an interaction between Mary and the angel Gabriel. Gabriel appears to the young virgin Mary in the ill-reputed city of Nazareth. He tells her "Greetings favored one! The Lord is with you…do not be afraid Mary; for you have found favor with God". Gabriel then proceeds to tell Mary that she will give birth to the Son of the Most High God. She will name Him Jesus. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever and His kingdom will have no end. Curious, Mary asks, how can this be since I am a virgin? Gabriel responds that the Holy Spirit will come upon you and the power of the Most High God will overshadow you. Look at Mary's response "Behold, the bondservant of the Lord, may it be done to me according to your Word (v38) WOW!!! She does not ask any more questions. She does not try to talk her way out of it. She simply accepts the mission.

What enables Mary to make such a powerful statement? Her relationship. As evident in Luke 1:28 and 30, Mary already had a strong relationship with the Lord before the angel Gabriel appears. She is not some random person chosen to be the incubator of the Lord. She is a vessel of the Lord with a cultivated relationship.

It is out of this relationship that Mary considered her a bondservant. As she looked in the mirror, she did not see an individual with selfish aspirations. She saw an individual willing and able to serve the Lord in any capacity. Her life was not her own. She belonged to the Lord.

This relationship also served as the basis for her faith. Mary trusted God with her body and her future. She did not allow the potential ridicule and shame of an unexplainable pregnancy to deter her. She trusted the Lord with all of her heart. She did not lean on her understanding but in always trusted the Lord and allowed him to direct her path. This is the type of trust the author of Hebrews references in the faith Hall of Fame when he says that without faith it is impossible to please God. (Hebrews 11:3) These men and women had an unrelenting faith that allowed them to do the unimaginable for the Lord. (Hebrews 11)

In addition to an unrelenting faith, Mary was also trustworthy. The Father was trusting her with His only begotten Son. He trusted Mary enough to utilize her as the vehicle to birth and raise the Savior.

This same trust is also critical to our relationship with our spouse. How can we have a strong unbreakable bond with someone that we do not trust? Trust allows us to lower the steel plated barrier surrounding our heart so that we can love and be loved. It serves as a foundation in which we have engaging conversation and consistently scintillating sex. Trust says I love you enough to expose myself to any potential heartache you can inflict upon me.

That being said, are you trustworthy? Mary was trustworthy which allowed her to be blessed and to be a blessing. What about you? Can the Father trust you to carry out His missions? Can your spouse consistently count on you? Continuously strive to be trustworthy and Watch Your Marriage Succeed!!!

June 04, 2015

We are blessed! We are blessed with a Father who loves us and has taken action to demonstrate that love. Keenly aware of this truth, the Apostle Paul passionately challenges us to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which we have been called.(Ephesians 4:2-4)

We have been called into a saving relationship with the Lord. And this calling was not cheap. God the Father sent His only begotten Son to pay the price for our sins. Jesus did not want to do it; but He understood that it was His mission. In the Garden of Gethsemane, He agonizingly deliberated to the point that He sweat blood as He said "Father take this cup away from me, but not my will but thine will be done". (Luke 22:42) He was beaten, mocked, spit upon and crucified for our sins. Therefore, Paul implores us to live our lives in a manner worthy of the sacrifice that was made for us with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:3-4)

First, Paul challenges us to walk with HUMILITY and GENTLENESS. It is not about us but Him who died and rose again on our behalf. This is the example that Paul lays before us when he says "I Paul, the Prisoner of the Lord". (v1) As a prisoner of the Lord, it is not about you. It is about the One who has you imprisoned. It is about serving Him and lifting Him up.

Does that mean that a humble person is weak? No. It means that they are wise enough to know where their help comes from but strong enough to walk in the power and anointing that God has blessed them with. They are confident but not arrogant. They are humble but not weak.

Moses was known as the most humble (meek) man on earth. (Numbers 12:3) Through experience, he learned that he could not deliver the Children of Israel from Egyptian bondage by himself. He needed the Lord. He had to humble himself while not allowing the fear of the past to turn him into a stammering weakling. He could not approach Pharaoh as a weak apologetic leader representing an Almighty God. He had to boldly proclaim what thus saith the Lord.

In addition to humility, Paul challenges us to walk in PATIENCE, showing TOLERANCE with one another in love. I wonder if the recently converted Jews and Gentiles rolled their eyes and sucked their teeth as they read another plea for unity. (lol) They are not interested in being tolerant of one another. They are interested in themselves and their particular traditions. Therefore, Paul challenges them to shift their focus from their differences to their new found commonality – Christ Jesus. They may not fully understand one another but that does not mean that they cannot unite together as one. They have been called into One Lord, One Faith and One Baptism. (Ephesians 4:5)

Sometimes we allow silly stuff to create division in our marriage. We disagree with one another but instead of creatively finding a solution, we separate ourselves. She retreats to one side of the house and he retreats to another side. This separation is the devil's playground as we argue with our spouse in our mind. It is there fault and we do not want to hear anything different. We are not interested in their point of view or any common ground. We want them to experience our current pain and frustration.

Tolerance takes a different approach. It looks at the sin/issue not the person with the understanding that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) While this biblical truth is not an excuse, it is critical to our ability to extend grace, mercy and forgiveness in lieu of condemnation. Creative and lasting solutions are not birthed in the incubators of anger. That is the breeding ground for vengeance and divorce. Creative and lasting solutions are birthed in love. Although we are upset with our spouse, we love them enough to fight through our differences and humble enough to kick pride to the curb and trust God with the situation.

So we encourage you to employ humility and unifying tolerance in your everyday life and watch Your Marriage Succeed.

May 20, 2015

What are you passionate about? What is that one thing that invigorates you, energizes you and motivates you. What is that one thing that brings joy to your entire being?

For the Great Apostle Paul, I believe it was service unto the Lord. As we saw last week, Paul considered himself a prisoner of the Lord. Although he was in a Roman jail for preaching the Gospel, He was not their prisoner. He was a prisoner of the One who sent him to preach the Gospel. "He did not consider his life worth anything to him; his only aim was to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus had given him – the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace". (Acts 20:25)

Paul continues to express this passion in the 4th Chapter of Ephesians when he says that he IMPLORES the church at Ephesus to walk in a manner worthy of its calling. He did not merely ask the church. He begged them. He pleaded with them. Paul's usage of words demonstrates his passion for the things of God. Writing this letter was not something he was doing merely to pass time. He passionately believed in the church at Ephesus and the message he had to deliver to them.

So how about you? When was the last time you pursued your passion? When was the last time you cut the chains of safety and moved aside those barriers that were curtailing your pursuit? For many of us, it has been a long time. That raging fire which once burned on the inside of us has become luke warm and in desperate need of stoking.

That is what I had to do to my grill on Mother's Day weekend. I was trying to roast some steak and pork chops for my wife. The grill was flaming hot at the beginning but gradually started going out. I could see that the fire was still burning but it needed some help. So I found a stick and turned a few of those dormant coals over. Soon, the fire started flaming again and my food started cooking.

There are some of us that could use a little stoking. We have allowed the passion that once burned on the inside of us to flame out. From work to children to school to church, the responsibilities of life have smothered our flame. In the same manner, fear and procrastination are constantly trying to throw buckets of water on our flame. Paul challenges a timid Timothy to protect his flame from these hindrances. In 2 Timothy, he says that God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind.(2 Timothy 1:7)While a natural feeling, we cannot allow fear to turn us into perpetual feet draggers who are constantly concerned about what might go wrong and what other people might think about us.

We are children of the Most High God. We are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, and a holy nation. (1 Peter 2:9) So let's change our mindset. Let's stop focusing on what could go wrong and start focusing on the One who has sent us. Sure there will be trials and tribulations along the way but we can take refuge in Jesus who has overcome the world. (John 16:33)

Well my passion is not church related. That's okay. God is not limited to the four walls of the church nor has He limited your ministry and gifts to the four walls of the church. Ministry can take place on your job, the softball field, a dance recital, a Zumba class, etc. We are the church, not the building in which we worship.

Well, I am too old to pursue my passion. No, you are not. You have years of seasoning in which you can share. You are not prone to some of the mistakes you would have made 10, 15 or 20 years ago. You have a different perspective on life that allows you to approach situations with wisdom. You understand the difference between a calculated risk and blind ambition. You have a better understanding of people and the various quirks we all possess. You can honestly say I have been there and done that and now you are ready to share your testimony with the world.

Well, I am not talented enough to pursue my passion. Yes, you are talented enough. God equips us in every good thing to do His will. (Hebrews 13:21)

So go for it. Stoke the fire! Unleash the passion that has been lying dormant. You only have one life. Don't waste it watching "them, they and the other people" passionately pursue their mission. Stoke the fire and you will find purpose return to your life. Stoke the fire and watch You Marriage Succeed. Why? Because Happy Fulfilled People Make Happy Fulfilled Spouses.

May 06, 2015

When I was a child, there were times when I allowed the temptations of life to usher me into disobedience. Fortunately for me, my loving parents responded with an appropriate punishment. While I disliked getting a whooping, I despised being sent to my room for elongated periods of time. Hours seemed like days, days seemed like weeks and weeks seemed like months as I sat imprisoned in my room staring at the royal blue walls. I am sure that some of you can relate.

In the 4th chapter of Ephesians, Paul identifies himself as the prisoner of the Lord. (Ephesians 4:1)Now, hold up. Paul is in this Roman prison for sharing the good news of Jesus Christ. He has not committed a crime. He has not disobeyed the Lord. He was merely carrying out his God given assignment. In spite of this apparent injustice, Paul does not complain. Instead, he calls himself a prisoner of Christ Jesus.

If I can be transparent, I would have had some serious questions. Lord, why haven't you delivered me yet? Did I hear you incorrectly when you told me to preach the gospel to the gentiles? What have I done to deserve this fate? However, this was not the mindset of Paul. Even though he was in a Roman prison, he considered himself a prisoner of the Lord with a special assignment to take the gospel to Rome. He was not concerned about his circumstances. He was concerned about completing his mission.

What about you? What has you imprisoned? Are you imprisoned by the demands of life? Are you imprisoned by your inability to manage your time effectively? Are you imprisoned by the shame and guilt of your past? Are you imprisoned by procrastination? Are you imprisoned by your fear of failure? What is preventing you from being a prisoner of the Lord?

For many of us, we understand that we have been saved to serve but we are unable to free ourselves of the shackles of life. As a result, there is this tug of war taking place on the inside of us. We want to break the chains and serve freely but we do not want to forfeit the safety and predictability of that which has us imprisoned. What if we fail? What will the people say about us? What if we are hearing God incorrectly? What if people recognize that we are not all that we appear to be? What if people reject us? So we sit around making excuses while critiquing everyone else.

This is not the mindset of Paul. He says to a timid Timothy that God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind. While a natural feeling, we cannot allow fear or the circumstances of life to turn us into perpetual feet draggers. So let's change our mindset. Let's stop focusing on what could go wrong and start focusing on the One who has sent us. Sure there will be trials and tribulations along the way but we can take refuge in Jesus who has overcome the world. (John 16:33)

This was the "MORE THAN A CONQUEROR" mindset of Paul as he said "But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God." (Acts 20:25)

Paul was completely sold out to the ministry of the Lord. It was not about him. It was about serving the Lord. It was not about the inevitable trials and tribulations of life. It was about serving the Lord. It was not about the danger that accompanied preaching the gospel. It was about serving the Lord.

Paul echoed a similar sentiment in the book of Philippians when he said"not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstance I am. I know how to get along with humble means and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".(Philippians 4:11-13)

He could do all things because He was not imprisoned by the circumstances of life. He was a prisoner of the Lord with the ability to adjust to whatever situation he found himself in. The situation did not dictate his actions. Fear of the unknown did not dictate his actions. Fear of what others might think of him did not dictate his actions. His steps were ordered by the Lord (Psalms 37:23)

Once again, what about you? Are your steps being ordered by the Lord? Are you a prisoner of the Lord? As Paul and the other disciples can attest, it is not an easy thing to do but it is worth it. Sure you are going to fail along the way but at least give it a try. For, we fall down but we get back up. (Donnie McClurkin) The goal is not perfection. Instead, the goal is unfettered service unto Him. Try it and Watch Your Marriage Succeed.

April 24, 2015

He must needs go through Samaria. (John 4:4) I have always liked that passage of scripture as it embodies the passion and determination Jesus had for His ultimate mission of SALVATION.

Jesus had to go through Samaria because He had a spiritual appointment with a spiritually bankrupt lady. The woman at the well was a mess. She had been married five times and the man she was currently with was not her husband either. While Jesus was well aware of her situation, He did not come to this appointment with condemning stones in His hand. Instead, He came with Living Water. He was not concerned about her soiled past, their cultural differences or that His Jewish brethren snobbishly despised Samaritans. In the woman at the well, He had a spiritual appointment with a sinner in need of a Savior. He was concerned about quenching her spiritual thirst.

Paul provides us with a wonderful word picture of this unifying mindset of Jesus. He says "And He came and preached peace to you who were far away (Gentiles) and peace to those who were near (Jews); for through Him we both have our access in one Spirit to the Father. (Ephesians 2:17-18) While aware of the differences that have separated them, Paul is not emphasizing them. Instead, he is illuminating their commonality. They have been united together in Christ Jesus.

In marriage, it is very tempting to highlight our thorny differences. We say, he is too quite. She is too chatty. She spends too much money. He is too frugal. She is bringing the pain from previous relationships into the marriage. He is still trying to define himself as a man since he did not have a father figure in his life as a child. However, one of the keys to a successful marriage is not allowing our spouse's faults to cloud our entire view of the marriage. We cannot allow a summer rain shower to become a hurricane. Yes they hurt us; but, they are still the same person we fell in love with. Yes they hurt us; but as we take a look at the BIG PICTURE, this issue is not encompassing of the entire relationship. The pain and frustration we are currently experiencing does not define us as a couple. So we hate the sin but love the person. We do not allow Satan to use our differences and individual sins as a weapon against one another. We are not enemies living in the same house merely going through the motions. We are lovers who have issues that are not insurmountable in Christ Jesus.

So many times in a disagreement, we want to focus on the negative. He did this and she did that. This negativity muffles our chances of finding peace and resolving the disagreement. How can I hear your point of view if you have placed me in a defensive posture via your verbal attacks? How can we find creative solutions to our issues if we are constantly focusing on the negative aspects of our differences?

Now we are not suggesting that you ignore your differences and the inevitable issues they generate. This will only produce quasi peace which will eventually result in a volcanic explosion. Instead, we are advocating positive productive communication that generates effective problem resolution. We cannot find a firm sustainable resolution to the issue if we merely want to vent our frustration about the issue. Yes, we are mad! But how do we find and implement a resolution that is agreeable for both parties.

The old hymn says "there is a bright side somewhere…don't you stop until you find it, there is a bright side somewhere". In Him, we find the bright side. In Him, we can identify the issue and talk about it. In Him, we can extend the same grace and mercy to one another that God has given to us. In Him, we can overcome any obstacle placed in our past.

It's our choice. On one hand, we can accentuate our differences and verbally assault one another. On the other hand, we can identify our differences and find the strength to work through them in Him. Personally speaking, we have chosen the latter. Try it and watch Your Marriage Succeed.

April 15, 2015

In the winter of 2011, my wife and I were in search of a church home. We were attending one of the mega churches in our area but it just did not feel right. While the preaching was fantastic, we did not feel connected. Since we were both saved and nurtured in small churches where everybody knew everybody, we were looking for a more personable family style church.

So we visited several churches in the area. Unfortunately, we could not find the right one for us. Then my wife suggested that we take a look at some of the smaller churches on the outskirts of Charlotte. I hesitantly did a search on the internet for church, family and Mt. Holly. One of the results returned was Harvest Time Church. After perusing their website, I decided that it was worth a visit.

We arrived at service in the middle of praise and worship. The music was lively and the Holy Spirit was present as the people praised the Lord with vigor. My wife and I looked at each other and started smiling. This was our kind of place. Then I looked at the front of the church and saw a white man dancing arm in arm in a circle with a black man. Wow! This church was not a part of the most segregated time in America – Sunday Morning. It was a picture of what I envision heaven will be like. People were worshiping the Lord together regardless of race, nationality or financial wherewithal.

In my mind, I knew this was the place for us. But I had to control my exuberance. We had only been there for 15 minutes. We had not even heard the preacher speak.

We came back for a few more Sunday's and continued to enjoy ourselves. The praise and worship was good. The preaching was good. The children's ministry was good. The fellowship was good. Now there was one more item to check off our list – the opportunity to serve. For us, serving is vital. We cannot sit on the pew of "do-nothing". We need to be actively involved. If not, we feel like we are dying on the inside.

As we looked into the ministries of the church, we noticed that husbands and wives were serving together. In fact, it was a part of the culture. That sealed the deal for us. We joined the church and we have been there ever since.

In Ephesians 2, Paul said "for by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."(Ephesians 2:8-10).

We have been saved to serve. Jesus expects us to utilize the gifts and talents that He has blessed us with to share the grace and mercy freely given to us with others. One of the avenues by which we can do that is the local church. Through our local church, we can serve in the music ministry, children's church, usher board, elders, trustees, deacons, evangelism, transportation, etc. And you know something, we can serve together. He does not have to serve in one area of the ministry while his wife serves in another area. We can serve together as one flesh.

Serving together creates unity in the home as we join together to spread the gospel. We are no longer two blessed individuals serving separately. We are one flesh utilizing our combined gifts to defeat the enemy. We are not two individuals sitting idly by waiting on "them, they and the other people" to do everything. We are not waiting on the church to educate us, heal us, entertain us, minister unto us and create fellowshipping opportunities for us. We are not more interested in what we can get out of the church. Instead, we are interested in blessing others via the gifts by which we have been blessed.

The Great Apostle Paul challenges us to shed this self-seeking mentality and Get Busy. He says "the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf." (2 Cor 5:14) So when it comes to church, are you a giver or a taker? Are you seeking ministry opportunities or solely seeking to be ministered unto?

The late president John F. Kennedy said "ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country". I think that is appropriate for the church as well. Ask not what your church can do for you but what you can do for your church. Try it and watch Your Marriage Succeed.

Note: Harvest Time Church has changed its name to Core Church. (www.corechurch.cc)

April 02, 2015

It is my favorite time of year again. The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. The barbecue grills are sizzling. Kids are playing outside. Baseball season is near. And people are sneezing. Well, I can do without the pollen induced sneeze attacks. However, I have learned that there are times in which you have to take the good with the bad.

It is spring. The time of year in which those things which have been dormant all winter are revived. It is also that time of year in which we celebrate our risen Savior - Jesus the Christ. It is because of our sins that He was sent to this rebellious world to be our atoning sacrifice. He was beaten, mocked, ridiculed, nailed to the cross and eventually placed in a tomb. Fortunately for us, He rose again delivering us from the spiritually suffocating grip of sin.

The Great Apostle Paul put it this way in the 2nd chapter of Ephesians

"And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus." (Ephesians 2:1-6)

As we lived according to the lusts of our flesh, we were dead in our trespasses. Do you remember those days in which you felt empty and hollow on the inside as you chased some semblance of purpose in all of the wrong places? While we were in the prime of our lives chronologically; spiritually we were "dead men walking". Every day was merely another opportunity to create separation between ourselves and the Father via our sinful actions. That is why I am so thankful that God loved us enough to send His only begotten Son to pay the price for our sins.

Did we deserve it? No! That is the part that continues to baffle me. He extended us grace and mercy while we were yet still in our sins! (Romans 5:8). He demonstrated unconditional love for us knowing that some of us would reject it while others would abuse it!

There are many of us who can use this type of unconditional resurrection love in our marriages. We have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Unfortunately, our individual sins do not live on an island by themselves. As one flesh, everything we do affects our marriage. Our inability to manage our personal finances affects the marriage. The corners that we cut in an attempt to grow our career or business affect our marriage. Our stubborn resistance to take care of our physical bodies affect our marriage. Therefore, it is time to cut the umbilical cord of sin.

We are new creatures in Christ. Old things have passed away and behold all things are new. (2 Corinthians 5:17) We are no longer bound by a sinful nature. We have been made alive again in Christ Jesus!!! We can choose to surrender ourselves to the Lord and resist the devil. (James 4:7) We can choose to be prisoners of the Lord. (Ephesians 3:1, 4:1) So let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith. (Hebrews 12:1-3) Let's leave those marriage destroying sins in the winter of our past and watch Our Marriage Succeed.

March 24, 2015

In the spring of 1996, my mom called me with news that my sister was getting married soon. When I arrived home from Germany for the wedding, I noticed that there was something different about my little sister. She was no longer the smart-mouth party girl looking to have a good time. Instead, she was standing in front of the church leading devotion. I can still see her standing there singing "I'm Running for My Life". For those of you who are not familiar with the song, the chorus says "If anybody ask you what's the matter with me, you just tell them that I'm saved, sanctified, Holy Ghost filled, fire baptized. I've got Jesus on my side. I'm running for my life".

As a church novice and an extremely active member of the sinner's union at that time, I did not fully understand the magnitude of the song. Like many of us, she had some habits that were in hot pursuit. They wanted to know why they had been kicked to the curb and what they could do to be down again. If she had slowed down, the past habits would have overtaken her. If she had turned to the left or right, Satan was there with a scrumptious temptation. Therefore, she had to run for her life with the firm assurance that her victory was rooted in Him.

In Ephesians, the Great Apostle Paul says that in Him (Jesus Christ), we have been chosen before the foundations of the world, redeemed through His blood and sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise. In Him, we have obtained an inheritance and received the wisdom of the mystery of His will. (Ephesians 1:3-14) Through the cross of Calvary, the Father has given us everything we need in Him.

In Him, we find the solution to a successful marriage. As the author and finisher of our faith, he will show us how to love our spouse in ways that we could not even imagine. He will help us understand their desires while supplying us with the wisdom and resources to fulfill those desires. He will help us understand the grace we have via the blood of the Lamb as well as the importance of extending the same grace we have received to someone else.

For while we were yet in our sins, Christ died for us the ungodly. (Romans 5:8) While we were doing things we had no business doing, God the Father thought enough of us that He would send His only begotten Son to die for us. (John 3:16) As a result, the least we can do is extend the same grace to our spouse. We may not like what they have done but we love them and we can extend grace to them.

This Christ-centered grace creates an atmosphere of unparalleled liberty within the marriage. We are not pointing fingers at one another with a judgmental mentality and a berating tongue. Instead we are forgiving one another under the power of God's grace and Christ's sacrifice. In Him, we have been liberated so that we may love each other the way we deserve to be loved.

So let me ask you this question, have you placed your marriage "In Him"? Have you made the decision to unconditionally love one another with the same grace that has been extended to you? If you are like us, you have spent far too much time trying to fix your marriage on your own. After years of wondering in the wilderness, we have decided to trust Him. What about you? Have you stopped trying to fix everything in your marriage by yourself and given it to Jesus? Try it and watch Your Marriage Succeed?

March 11, 2015

My mindset this morning in God is so AWESOME. He allowed me to rejoice in 2 miracles over the past 2 days. First a church member was healed of stage 4 cancer. He asked for prayer earlier in the month of Feb. He had previously survived 2 bouts of cancer and the doctors told him it was back with a vengeance. But God does what He does best. He drove to Raleigh for surgery and when they looked again…they couldn't find one spot of cancer. They told him to go home-PRAISE THE LORD!

Second Miracle…a friend of mine received her miracle in an unexpected way…we were praying for a job but instead God did what He does best! Mortgage company lowered her monthly payment AND sent them a huge check! Come on somebody…ok if that is not enough…how about this one…I had a mass the size of a quarter pressing against my organs. It was so painful I couldn't even move and/or walk sometimes. I was scheduled for surgery on a Tuesday, the day before I went to the surgeon's office for a "looksee" and guess what? Yep go ahead and say it…God did what he does best…the mass was gone! You see folks, there is power in prayer. This is something that I know for a fact. The Lord will fight your battle, heal your body, comfort you, keep you, sustain you, protect you, guide you and love you, IF YOU LET HIM!

Wow!!! In James, the bible says that if any among you are suffering, then he must pray. James continues by stating that if any among you is sick, then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick. (James 5:13-15) For some of us, our marriages are sick. Infected with poor communication, a lack of forgiveness and a lack of trust, we have hopelessly tried various different over the counter medications and home remedies to no avail. We are still sick and growing increasingly frustrated.

Personally, I recommend prayer which has been prescribed to all of us by the ultimate Doctor. Prayer changes things. I know that is a church cliché but it is true. As the above Facebook testimony shows "the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much". (James 5:16) Prayer petitions the Doctor who has created the institution of marriage for assistance. It is an act of humility where we acknowledge our need for help and lower our pride enough to receive it.

My wife and I can personally attest to the power of prayer. Unfortunately, we have spent numerous days in the marital sick ward with a prayer based IV stuck in our veins. It has taken an extreme amount of hard work, perseverance and prayer for us to mature into a strong loving couple with a firm understanding of the gift we have in one another. We have learned to appreciate each other's strengths and extend grace to each other's weaknesses.

To do this, we had to ask the Father to unveil our individual sins and faults to us. We had to ask Him for the strength and patience to endure as He worked on us as individuals. We had to ask Him for help with our communication which has resulted in us becoming bi-lingual. I speak English and Priscilla and she speaks English and Herb. We may not always understand what each other is saying but the Father has a way of unveiling it to us.

What about you? How long are you going to sit by your pool of Bethesda waiting on someone to put you into the water? (John 5:1-15) How long are you going to try and fix your marriage yourself? How long are you going to take the advice of your "Waiting to Exhale" friends who have not truly healed from their last failed relationship? How long before you submit yourself and your relationship to the Lord? How long before you start consistently, sincerely and fervently praying for your marriage? The family that prays together, stays together. I know that is another cliché. But maybe there is something to it. Try it and watch Your Marriage Succeed!