I never knew what I suffered from, I just knew I suffered. I suffered when I thought about beaches I hadn't walked on, mountains I hadn't gazed from, oceans I hadn't sailed on, food I hadn't eaten, people I hadn't met. My heart would yearn for these places, no less than you yearn for the love of your life when they aren't with you. It was an ache that was only slightly soothed when I would buckle myself in on a plane. I say "only slightly soothed" because the feeling was always there... reminding me that I was only about to meet one of those places I had been suffering for and that it could only last so long, and that I may never see them all..... Some would say I had wanderlust but that didn't seem to satisfy all the symptoms. Wanderlust is an awesome German word that means a love for travel or wandering. I knew I suffered from something more.

It's funny, but I've never been homesick, or so I thought. I always miss my husband when I'm away from him but that's not homesick, that's husband sick and I'm glad to say I get that often. Homesick was a foreign concept for me, then one day a life changing thing happened. Jason and I were in a store in Germany. We had been in Germany for a little over a week and had see a lot of amazing things but there was still so much to see and do. I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling of helplessness and actually started to cry. I hadn't seen everything yet, I hadn't been to every little village, hadn't met enough little old ladies with amazing stories to tell, hadn't gazed at enough vineyards or explored enough castles. Things were left undone, things I didn't even know about. Jason diagnosed it as being homesick which I said was crazy because the last thing I wanted to do was go home. And then he said, "No, you're already homesick for Germany."

Wanderlust is a love for travel. Fernweh (far sick) is so much more. It is a homesick yearning for places you've never been. Maybe Germany brings that out in people and that's why only the Germans have this perfect word. I'd like to believe that notion because my love for Germany is infinite but I suffer for other places too. Gladly there is no cure. Wanderlust is soothed with a vacation, but not this. That's how you know it's fernweh. You know you have it when you sob and laugh at the same time watching travel videos or you are more excited about someone's travels than they are. You travel in any way you can, even through the stories and experiences of your friends. You know you have it when you are already thinking about the next place you'd love to go before the plane leaves the ground for your current trip. This doesn't mean you're spoiled, you likely have fewer things than others because you choose to travel. It also doesn't mean you can't enjoy the moment you're in, you breathe in every inch of every place you go. It means you gladly and desperately suffer...... from fernweh.