Favorite Martian Quotes

2. "If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it."Author: Andy Weir

3. "I think space exploration is very important. I think there is very intelligent life on Mars. I believe that Martians are spying on us from the bottom of the ocean."Author: Annabella Sciorra

4. "You ever wonder what a Martian might think if he happened to land near an emergency room? He'd see an ambulance whizzing in and everybody running out to meet it, tearing the doors open, grabbing up the stretcher, scurrying along with it. ‘Why,' he'd say, ‘what a helpful planet, what kind and helpful creatures.' He'd never guess we're not always that way; that we had to, oh, put aside our natural selves to do it. ‘What a helpful race of beings,' a Martian would say. Don't you think so?"Author: Anne Tyler

5. "The only word in the Martian language is written phonetically: Kay-ray-kh-kuh-ko-kex.It means whatever you want it to mean."Author: Blaise Cendrars

6. "My family would be supportive if I said I wanted to be a Martian, wear only banana skins, make love to ashtrays, and eat tree bark."Author: Casey Affleck

7. "Wait, go back to that Southern Baptist part," Julia said, interrupting, as she does. "Are you a born-again?" articulating her question as if she were asking me if I were really a headhunter or a Martian. "Yes," I said, "but I'm not an asshole. At least not theologically speaking."Author: Cathleen Falsani

8. "You stumble upon an unhappy Martian sentry on a mission and shoot ineffectually at his powersuit a few times before he pulps you with his laserbeam eyes and hideous poisonous-gas breath. Glory!"Author: Daniel Keidl

9. "What I wish is that people would look beyond the tribbles and see I've written some other books that I really would like people to notice. There's 'The Man Who Folded Himself,' there's 'The Martian Child,' which is about my son and the adoption. There's 'The War Against The Chtorr,' which is my magnum opus, my great epic story."Author: David Gerrold

10. "In one respect at least the Martians are a happy people, they have no lawyers."Author: Edgar Rice Burroughs

11. "Early the next morning I was astir. Considerable freedom was allowed me, as Sola had informed me that so long as I did not attempt to leave the city I was free to go and come as I pleased. She had warned me, however, against venturing forth unarmed, as this city, like all other deserted metropolises of an ancient Martian civilization, was peopled by the great white apes of my second day's adventure."Author: Edgar Rice Burroughs

12. "Or did a Martian sit within each, ruling, directing, using, much as a man's brain sits and rules in his body? I began to compare the things to human machines, to ask myself for the first time in my life how an ironclad or a steam engine would seem to an intelligent lower animal."Author: H.G. Wells

13. "For that moment I touched an emotion beyond the common range of men, yet one the poor brutes we dominate know only too well. I felt as a rabbit might feel returning to his burrow, and suddenly confronted by the work of a dozen busy navvies digging the foundations of a house. I felt the first inkling of a thing that presently grew quite clear in my mind, that oppressed me for many days, a sense of dethronement, a persuasion that I was no longer master, but an animal among animals; under the Martian heel."Author: H.G. Wells

14. "By the toll of a billion deaths man has bought his birthright of the earth, and it is his against all comers; it would still be his were the Martians ten times as mighty as they are. For neither do men live nor die in vain."Author: H.G. Wells

15. "And before we judge them too harsly we must remember what ruthless and utter destruction our own species has wrought, not only upon animals, such as the vanished bison and the dodo, but upon its inferior races....Are we such apostles of mercy as to complain if the Martians warred in the same spirit?"Author: H.G. Wells

16. "I'm at a little loss in terms of my Leave It To Beaver expertise, since I never watched an episode of the show - so the cast in the pilot could have been Martians or they could have been the regular cast for all I know."Author: Harry Shearer

17. "Isn't it sad that you can tell people that the ozone layer is being depleted, the forests are being cut down, the deserts are advancing steadily, that the greenhouse effect will raise the sea level 200 feet, that overpopulation is choking us, that pollution is killing us, that nuclear war may destroy us - and they yawn and settle back for a comfortable nap. But tell them that the Martians are landing, and they scream and run."Author: Isaac Asimov

18. "In these cases, the mind knows what it's doing better than the guile, because the mind flows, the guile dams up, that is, the mind stride but the guile limps. And that's no guileless statement, however, and that's no Harvard like, as MIT will measure soon with computers and docks of Martian data."Author: Jack Kerouac

20. "I grunted. It's something I picked up over a fifteen-year career in law enforcement. Men have managed to create a complex and utterly impenetrable secret language consisting of monosyllabic sounds and partial words—and they are apparently too thick to realize it exists. Maybe they really are from Mars. I'd been able to learn a few Martian phrases over time, and one of the useful ones was the grunt that meant "I acknowledge that I've heard what you said; please continue."Author: Jim Butcher

21. "Our lives are part of a unique adventure... Nevertheless, most of us think the world is 'normal' and are constantly hunting for something abnormal--like angels or Martians. But that is just because we don't realize the world is a mystery. As for myself, I felt completely different. I saw the world as an amazing dream. I was hunting for some kind of explanation of how everything fit together."Author: Jostein Gaarder

22. "The only controls available to those on board were two push-buttons on the center post of the cabin -- one labeled on and one labeled off. The on button simply started a flight from Mars. The off button connected to nothing. It was installed at the insistence of the Martian mental-health experts, who said that human beings were always happier with machinery they thought they could turn off."Author: Kurt Vonnegut

23. "I myself feel that our country, for whose Constitution I foughtin a just war, might as well have been invaded by Martians andbody snatchers. Sometimes I wish it had been. What has happened,though, is that it has been taken over by means of the sleaziest,low-comedy, Keystone Cops-style coup d'etat imaginable."Author: Kurt Vonnegut

24. "I was in Kansas for about a month, and we worked most of the time in a very small town, so it felt like the production basically took the whole town over. In a way, we were the Martians in Kansas."Author: Lukas Haas

25. "I shall sit down,' replied the cat, sitting down, 'but I shall enter an objection with regard to your last. My speeches in no way resemble verbal muck, as you have been pleased to put it in the presence of a lady, but rather a sequence of tightly packed syllogisms, the merit of which would be appreciated by such connoisseurs as Sextus Empiricus, Martianus Capella, and, for all I know, Aristotle himself.'Your king is in check,' said Woland.Very well, very well,' responded the cat, and he began studying the chessboard through his opera glasses.And so, donna,' Woland addressed Margarita, 'I present to you my retinue. This one who is playing the fool is the cat Behemoth..."Author: Mikhail Bulgakov

26. "Long ago Mars was an oasis of running water.Today the Martiansurfaceis a sterile,barren desert. Here on Earth, who knows what climactic knobs we unwittingly turn,which might one day render Earth as dry and lifeless as Mars. (From the cover of Old Poison by Joan Francis)"Author: Neil DeGrasse Tyson

27. "If Mars formed life, then life on Earth could have been seeded by life on Mars, making every life form on Earth descended from Martians."Author: Neil DeGrasse Tyson

28. "During the season, fans tend to observe, in as many complicated ways and with as much detail as we can come up with, only that a winning team is very good, and a losing team is hopeless. My mother or Prince Charles or probably a Martian could make the same observation, but their views would be discounted on the grounds of ignorance."Author: Nick Hornby

29. "Johnny Depp is so special that he is like a Martian. In fact, that's what I call him, Martian."Author: Penelope Cruz

30. "I became educated to the fact that the greatest pain does not come zooming down from a distant planet, but from the depths of the heart. Of course, both could happen; your wife and child could leave you, and you could be sitting alone in your empty house with nothing to live for, and in addition the Martians could bore through the roof and get you."Author: Philip K. Dick

31. "Well, once again we are invaded. And, humiliatingly, by a lifeform which is absurd. My colleague Tim Powers once said that Martians could invade us simply by putting on funny hats, and we'd never notice. It's a sort of low-budget invasion. I guess we're at the point where we can be amused by the idea of Earth being invaded. (And this is when they really zap you."Author: Philip K. Dick

32. "Dad just stared at me like I'd started speaking Greek. Of course, Dad probably spoke Greek, so maybe it was more like I was talking Martian."Author: Rachel Hawkins

33. "During the next few years I wrote a series of Martian pensées, Shakespearean "asides," wandering thoughts, long night visions, predawn half-dreams. The French, like St. John Perce, practice this to perfection. It is the half-poem, half-prose paragraph that runs as little as one hundred words or as long as a full page on any subject, summoned by weather, time, architectural facade, fine wine, good victuals, a view of the sea, quick sunsets, or a long sunrise. From these elements one upchucks rare hairballs or a maundering Hamlet-like soliloquy."Author: Ray Bradbury

34. "The Martians were there—in the canal—reflected in the water.... The Martians stared back up at them for a long, long silent time from the rippling water...."Author: Ray Bradbury

35. "All the things which had uses. All the mountains which had names. We'll give them new names, but the old names are there, somewhere in time..." -Bradbury, The Martian Chronicles"Author: Ray Bradbury

36. "Afternoons, when the fossil sea was warm and motionless, and the wine trees stood stiff in the yard, and the little distant Martian bone town was all enclosed, and no one drifted out their doors, you could see Mr. K himself in his room, reading from a metal book with raised hieroglyphs over which he brushed his hand, as one might play a harp. And from the book, as his fingers stroked, a voice sang, a soft ancient voice, which told tales of when the sea was red steam on the shore and ancient men had carried clouds of metal insects and electric spiders into battle."Author: Ray Bradbury

37. "No-one ever even came close to Deimos. It was the ginger stepchild of Martian moons."Author: Ray Daley

38. "I didn't think he was a very 'nice' person,' says Chichilnisky [about Jeff Bezos]. 'I liked him, but he was not warm. I'm not criticising him, not a bit. It was like he could be a Martian for all I knew. A well-meaning, nice Martian."Author: Richard L. Brandt

39. "If a Martian (who, we'll imagine, never dies except by accident) came to Earth and saw this peculiar race of creatures - these humans who live about seventy or eighty years, knowing that death is going to come - it would look to him like a terrible problem of psychology to live under those circumstances, knowing that life is only temporary. Well, we humans somehow figure out how to live despite this problem: we laugh, we joke, we live."Author: Richard P. Feynman

40. "Talking with a Martian is something like talking with an echo. You don't get any argument but you don't get results either."Author: Robert A. Heinlein

41. "I'd move to Los Angeles if New Zealand and Australia were swallowed up by a tidal wave, if there was a bubonic plague in England and if the continent of Africa disappeared from some Martian attack."Author: Russell Crowe

42. "Scientists at first were skeptical that a kitten-type being could exist in the rare Martian atmosphere. As a test, two Earth kittens were put in a chamber that simulated the Martian air. The diary of this experiment is fascinating:6:00 A.M.: Kittens appear to sleep.7:02 A.M.: Kitten wakes, darts from one end of cage to another for no apparent reason.7:14 A.M.: Kitten runs up wall of cage, leaps onto other kitten for no apparent reason.7:22 A.M.: Kitten lies on back and punches other kitten for no apparent reason.7:30 A.M.: Kitten leaps, stops, darts left, abruptly stops, climbs wall, clings for two seconds, falls on head, darts right for no apparent reason.7:51 A.M.: Kitten parses first sentence of daily newspaper that is at bottom of chamber.With the exception of the parsing, all behavior is typical of Earth kitten behavior. The parsing activity, which was done with a small ball-point pen, was an anomaly."Author: Steve Martin