Hellions is easily one of the worst films I’ve come across in the past few years, and only a smidge above the truly hellish Muck. I’m sure the filmmakers had the best intentions in giving a Troll-like film but unlike that one, which was bad but fun, this one is just plain bad, in spite of a decent enough performance by lead actress Chloe Rose.

THE MOVIE – ZERO/5

Two questions entered my mind upon the ending of Hellions:

What the hell did I just watch?

Why the hell did I just watch it?

Hellions was an entry in the Sundance Film Festival among many others around the world but failed to get a theatrical distributor and it’s not hard to see why. This Canadian production is bizarre and off-the-wall for sure yet for all of its weirdness the movie was incredibly tedious and confusing.

The thin story centers around 17-year-old Dora Vogel (CHLOE ROSE) who has just found out she is pregnant by her longtime boyfriend. Unsure what to do, she attempts to take her mind off of her problem, to be dealt with later, and spend Halloween at home. Although the town thrives off of the holiday, with a number of pumpkin farms in the area, something far sinister lurks.

Dora’s night goes haywire with the ring of the doorbell. What was presumably a kid in a creepy costume is instead some sort of demonic entity that places its hand on her belly thus, I guess, marking her with a bloody handprint. As the time progressed, a few other of these freaky little bastards show up and torment Dora and eventually showing her a grisly something in their trick-or-treat bag. She also begins experiencing random hallucinations or perhaps visions of her dark future.

Meanwhile, as she begins experiencing pains, with the help of her doctor, who barely escapes from the demons, discovers she is far further along than when she initially started and we get a glimpse of what is growing inside of her: a demonic baby.

Later, Dora does receive some help in the form of town sheriff Corman (ROBERT PATRICK) who jumps in to provide the audience with some clunky exposition as a similar thing happened to him and his wife a year prior. It’s at best thin and doesn’t make the movie any creepier.

It’s not very often a movie causes me pain but Hellions did. Despite a short 80-minute running time (sans credits), it felt so much longer. You add in some odd choices with the visuals with the outside world with overly stylized colors, or lack thereof, that I was a bit confused as to why, was this supposed to be hell? If so, not entirely sure why Dora, or the other two characters we see, don’t take notice or are affected by this environment. It was strange but ineffective.

On the plus side, and even then it’s a stretch, Chloe Rose (“Degrassi: The Next Generation”) wasn’t too bad, and it doesn’t hurt she’s a cutie (superficial, I know) considering what she was given to work with but Robert Patrick, making more or less a cameo, has maybe 10-minutes of screen time and has very little to offer, so even his normal gruff charisma was futile.

Hellions was helmed by Bruce McDonald, a Canadian filmmaker who has directed a variety of projects from his home country. The script was written by Pascal Trottier, a fellow Canadian himself and I really don’t know how this project even got off the ground. It’s a half of a movie and frankly, that half is so random with what I assume was a committee making decisions on what they thought would look cool, plot be damned.

SPECIAL FEATURES – 0.5/5

This release comes with a matted slip cover. The only feature included is the Trailer.

VIDEO – 3.0/5

Shout unleashes Hellions via their Scream Factory line. Presented with a 1.85 widescreen aspect ratio and a 1080p high-definition transfer, the movie is a mixed bag where there is some good detail and when the filter isn’t applied, colors generally are bright. However, when the weird reddish filter is switched on, I could see some artifacts throughout those scenes. So, on the whole, it’s not terrible but thanks to the filmmakers’ “creative” choices, it doesn’t make for the most brilliant looking picture.

AUDIO – 3.25/5

The movie comes with the standard but very average 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio track. While dialogue levels were clear enough the other elements, such as when the Hellions wreck havoc upon the home, is a bit limited and on the whole it just wasn’t a very dynamic lossless track. Even the score, which was more amusing rather than scary, isn’t entirely effective.

OVERALL – 1.0/5

Overall, Hellions is easily one of the worst films I’ve come across in the past few years, and only a smidge above the truly hellish Muck. I’m sure the filmmakers had the best intentions in giving a Troll-like film but unlike that one, which was bad but fun, this one is just plain bad, in spite of a decent enough performance by lead actress Chloe Rose. The Blu-ray released through Shout’s Scream Factory line offers so-so video and audio and thin amount of bonus material.

Check out some more screen caps by going to page 2. Please note, these do contain spoilers.

2 Responses to “Review: Hellions BD + Screen Caps”

My ex gf did the makeup on this movie in 2013 when it was shot. At the time I got to read the script, and it gave me a headache just trying to get to the end. And she told me the DOP and Director were trying to do this “cool new thing and shoot a bunch in infrared”, and I’ve seem the trailers, and it looks like shit. I can’t believe it’s taken this long to finally see the light of day.