I actually like those Dr Karg things, but only the one with insane amounts of (I think it's pamersan) cheese in it. And then with more cheese added on top. It makes me feel less bad about eating cheese. Ditto Ryvita, which is far more cardboard-y on the palette.

But there is also David Mitchell, who is the anti-Jordan! On the Beeb (telly+R4), he reaches Jordan levels of ubiquity, but he doesn't make me feel homicidal OR suicidal, which is nice.I secretly love Ryvita, but it has the same effect on me as on Magpie, making me feel better about eating shedloads of cheese. The seedy ones are particularly nice and not so cardboardy.Best wishes for ongoing productivity!