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Monday, December 22, 2008

Disengagement...can be very educational and entertaining

Yes my Daniel has been hit with the retard stick again. That's being generous in the very least. Couple of weeks ago it was his daughter giving him the proverbial finger when told to start packing to move into her new room, and now she's done it again...not once but TWICE! This week it's because she wanted to go spend the weekend with some boy or his family in a major city 5 hrs away from home, in a rather shitty suburb. Now the girl just turned 17 less than a month ago and to say she's immature and lacks common sense is a gross understatement. I had been told she had *asked* to go and then was told that he wasn't going to let her. Four days later he told me he had went ahead and let her go...and yes he was met with a WTF where YOU smoking and/or drinking at the time, and asked if he'd sustained a head injury I needed to be aware of...and the obligatory head shake in disappointment at his piss poor judgement as well as me voicing my opinion on the matter. Then I shrugged my shoulders and reminded him I had disengaged, I'd keep my mouth shut, it was between him and the Sponge. I was met with a blank stare then a weak explanation of how he'd initially told her she couldn't go, and then something about her being 17 and there was no way he could really stop her, and her and her friend were going to go anyways, he'd rather have her in her car where he knew they wouldn't break down, followed with mutter, mutter, mutter. Where he comes up with his line of thinking, I have no clue. I told him the only reason I cared is because while it reflected poorly on him, it also reflected poorly on me and we have a court hearing over custody coming up sometime. I also reminded him of the shitty decisions that the Sponge had made with their oldest daughter and how she had turned out and he was acting just like the Sponge now in an attempt to keep Katie at our house. Oh and that this WOULD be brought up in a court of law and he'd have some SERIOUS explaining to do. He got kind of a funny look on his face, but didn't say a word. I was tempted to tell him I wasn't going to go to the court hearings with him, but I didn't. The reason for that is that I know me, and I'm way to nosey not to go.

Oh he also said something about her wanting the perks of being an adult, she can have the responsibility for it as well. That was too much for me to resist...and he was stuck in the pickup with me so I informed him I'm handing her the electric bill for next door AND her car insurance bill in January... *Wicked grin* and I'm NOT paying them. Ya I'm a bitch that way. I really don't care either way what they say about it either. What they gonna do? Give me dirty looks? Throw me out? GROUND ME? BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Well nothing further was said until today when he asked me to look up the weather and street/road conditions for that particular suburb today. I IM'd a good friend of mine that lives in that area and was informed that the roads were clear and while cold, weather was fine. While I was pulling up the info and texting my friend, he told me Katie was telling him that the streets were bad and she couldn't come home today blah blah blah. Well he dickered with her back and forth via texts for a good 2 hrs and I was getting pissed so I just called the local PD for that suburb. What do you know? Streets and weather were fine...so he texted her back telling her to have their happy asses home by 5 tonight or she's loosing her car for a month. Of course, she wasn't home by 5 (I'm not surprised considering his lack of spine and her ignorance). I don't know whether she's home now at 19:30 either since I had to come in to work because 2 of our dispatchers have the flu and maybe another one. That leaves me and one part time guy and he's scheduled to work tomorrow for the guy that's going to relieve me at midnight provided he's not sick as a dog by then (he was sick today I guess, heaving everything he'd eaten). Oh well, more OT for me :D. Tis the season.

Anyways, at this point, I'm kicking back enjoying my Daniel squirm like he's in a sniper's sight and he knows it. I have absolutely NO sympathy for him at this point, as he's let her spiral out of control and brought this on himself. The Sponge tried calling him today and wanted to talk to him and he turned his cell off. He had 3 unread text messages and he said he wasn't going to read them. Maybe he's taking clue from me about how I deal with his daughter...I ignore her. Oh I'll speak to her, and if there is something she needs to do, I'll tell her to do it, and if she doesn't, I deal with that. Other than that, nada. I reserve that right being a lowly disengaged stepparent though...he doesn't have that option since he's the "parent". She doesn't give me the shit she gives her Dad for the mere fact that she doesn't ask me anything. If she did, the answer would be no, and she knows that from experience.

I can't help but wonder if he doesn't WANT to loose this custody case. He's told me numerous times that he's too old for this bullshit and he doesn't want to deal with it. Of course this was a couple of years ago and he repeats it intermittently to the present time. I know I'm to the point where I want him to loose this case. I'm tired of watching him let her use him as a doormat. On the other hand, hopefully he's learning from it although it will be 10 years before he needs this knowledge again...well maybe it will. In a mere 10 years OUR Evie will be 15 and I'll rot in hell before I let him raise OUR daughter this way. I do believe he knows that and is relieved. I have no problem being Billy Bad Ass with the teenagers, where he just wants to throw money (and car keys apparently) and for them to get out of his hair. Screw that noise, I was raised like that and I know how it feels. I guess he's imagining that she likes it, and truth be known...she doesn't. She wants attention from her Dad and probably from me, but I can't give her mine with her acting this way. I would be the wicked stepmother from Cinderella at this point as disgusted with her as I am right now. Personally I think she needs that at this point in time, but I'm not taking the fall for being the "bad guy" with one of his kids yet again. I've tried telling him this, but he's not comprehending it as when he tries to reign her in and spend time with her, she retreats into a whining bitching "your so mean to me" fit. Oh well, least this is his last child he spawned with the Sponge and like I said, she's 17. Eleven short months and she'll be 18, and the following May she will graduate high school. YAY. I'm not going to say she'll be out of my life, but she will be no longer deemed in any way partially my responsibility. That just tickles the shit out of me.

Like I said, this is very educational for me. A first rate education/example of what NOT to do with my kids (even though I might be tempted at times). Now all I need is an example of what to do with/to him if he should get bold enough to attempt to allow my children to act this way.

1 comment:

Hmm. Looks like a couple wheels are going to be removed from that car and she can sit and LOOK at it in the yard for a month. If he doesn't do what he's said he's going to do, she's going to keep going further till she hits a wall of some kind or another. That wall could be anything from Dad pulling the emergency brake, to trickier stuff involving outside forces that Dad can't rescue her from either. And if your name is on that car title, then YOU take the wheels off the blasted car and let her look at it for a month. She doesn't have to know you did it. She's gotta sleep sometime right?