4Legend

I like to read FMLs off my iPhone when i'm bored as Furk, so dont expect me to reply or cuss out on you on the internet. I make a lot of random references, and have a sarcastic sense of humour. I'm very sorry if my grammer isn't up to your standards, but I'm only human.
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My Favorite Commenters -
-perdix
-DocBastard
-TheWindowLicker
-GoW_Chick
-DjeePee
-Susieee_Q
-TheMaster15
-The Drifter
-Pentium_4
-Buttsexpirate
&
-ihasbrainsh

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML