If a statue were to be erected in your honor, what would it be sculpted to look like?

Would it stand nobly, squared shoulders, strong, facing the elements or would it be nervously slouched as though hiding in the shadows of taller monuments?

Would the statue be holding a pen, a ball, a child or lifting a fallen stranger from the ground? Or would it be clutching a TV remote and a bag of chips in its stony hand with the look of boredom dully etched onto its granite face?

What would be inscribed on its base? Would it say, “Here sat …” or “Here slept …” or “Here shrugged …”? Or would it instead proclaim “Here stood …”

What Do You Stand For?

What do you say, “No more!” to? Where do you draw a line in the sand of your life? What are you totally committed to? To what are you willing to dedicate your time and effort, heart and soul? For what are you ready to stand and be counted?

History is filled with pages of people giving everything they had for a cause much bigger than they were, devoting their lives to principles, holding to something higher than their own self-interest. And so we have the Gandhis and Mother Teresas and Martin Luther King Jrs and Nelson Mandelas of the world and countless others who stand or stood for something grand and noble.

“Until you know what you are willing to die for, you have not yet begun to live.” ~ Rabbi Noah Weinberg

Whether we heroically stand alone against evil or join a movement or whether we simply live everyday far away from the spotlight, but deep in the trenches of life, how we stand determines, in part, who we end up becoming. And who we are, deep at the core, determines if and when we stand.

So if you haven’t yet mustered the courage to stand and stand tall, standing up for what’s right, then perhaps by the end of this series of posts, you will be inspired to stretch your moral legs and pull yourself to a full upright position, the position, by the way, men and women were meant to live their lives.

This series of posts will deal with 7 areas of life where we may have spent too much time sitting on the sidelines, afraid to get off the bench.

Here’s the first …

Are you sitting on the sidelines of your own life?

Are you in your own game, or have you benched yourself indefinitely? Too many people never quite get out of their proverbial pajamas and get dressed for life.

They sleep too long and watch too much TV and hang out too often and spend too much time with social media and Youtube or playing computer games, observing life as though through a window as a Peeping Tom would observe people from behind the safety of a bush in the dark. They watch life more than live it.

They have no goals, no plans, no aspirations. They go nowhere because they never decide where to go. Some are lazy. Others fear failure or public ridicule. Some put off the hard things in life because they never learned to delay some immediate gratification for future greatness.

It’s Time To Stand And Be Counted

It’s your life. No one else will ever live it for you. It will be what you make of it. So get out of the bushes of life. Get out of bed and turn off the TV and get doing something. Anything.

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

So pick up a book and learn something you didn’t know before. Pick up a musical instrument and start learning how to play it. Join a club. Volunteer at a hospital. Get outside and climb something or run somewhere or build something. Break a bad habit. Work to improve a character trait. Challenge a fear. Set some goals for yourself and start to be and do things you never thought possible.

Stand now and be counted among the living! Get up and truly come alive with passion and purpose, with meaning and direction, and start being what you were always meant to be …

… the master of your own destiny.

Your Turn

Please share your thoughts in the comments below and share this post with your friends and followers if you found it of value. It would mean a lot to me.

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54 Comments

I read your post and did a quick survey of four opinions (well, they were online) about the kind of statue they’d erect when I am gone (oh, I like that Eminem song “When I am gone”). Here’s what I was told: There’d be a statue of me:
a. Laughing, holding out my arms as if to hug
b. Laughing, with my arms full of stuff to give away
b. Smiling, serving food to a large group of needy people (hey I like that!)
d. Happy, playing with a group of children in a park

I tell you, I cried. This, from the close friends I usually banter with – we tease each other all the time – and when I asked my question, they did not hesitate to say this. Very overwhelming. Obviously I am pleased to death, pun intended.

Giving without expecting returns is very hard for most people to do because in general brains are trained to think “reciprocal”. So it is such a novelty to actually do something, feel good about it and move on. It is a good thing we have so many examples to choose from – i was lucky to grow up with elders who insisted that we practice giving something every day – and I follow it to this day – be it food or clothes or something else that is useful. It is easy for me to do.

One of my bosses (when I worked in sales and marketing) was a very dynamic and motivating individual. Each time we returned to the office, happy about some achievement, he would encourage us to talk about it, asking questions and building up the excitement – he knew the importance of listening. And then – he’d offer us a personal development tip. Among the several tips, one that stayed in my head was this: “When you go to bed, think of the good things and the not so good things you did today. Weigh them. If you sleep with a smile on your face – great. If not, remember tomorrow is a better day and you can make up, consciously” I am happy to say I usually sleep with a smile on my face. I’ve taught my son this. The lesson is: one does not have to wait until the end of the day to take stock. One can start the day consciously and have significant good things to think about at the end of the day.

This is a wonderful post and again, I can imagine what a fantastic teacher you must be (the movie-star looks being an added bonus :-P)

Wow Vidya! That’s exactly how I see you too! You have always struck me as a deeply loving and compassionate person with a great sense of humor. I love that image of you: arms open, love pouring out all over everyone who gets anywhere near you, blessing and serving all!

I love your former boss! He sounds like a man after my heart, a kindred spirit. I try to do the same with my students, sprinkling life lessons around other lessons on economics and government.

I love that saying you share with your son! “Tomorrow will be a better day” goes a long way to helping us endure the difficulties associated with the challenges of the moment. The power of example and early training is so powerful. Just think of the number of people your elders indirectly impacted just by influencing you that way. Add to that the impact you have on your son and others and the impact they’ll have on still others and the degree to which your elders affected so much good becomes absolutely mind-blowing!

Well, that brings me to your last couple comments, and, well, hmmm. Not sure what to say here other than thanks. You’re so sweet. Let’s just say that I have a bunch of students who do a very good job at keeping me humble and very aware of my fading youth!

Great post Ken! It was this kind of thinking that got me to jump ship from Corporate America about 15 years ago. I was on the fast track to making partner at a big firm. When I got about a year away from my goal, I looked at my life and the lives of the partners whose ranks I was trying to join. I thought, “Is this all there is to life?” I certainly hoped not so I left and started my amazing journey. With all my experiences since then, I know that there’s nothing I can’t do and I pack my days full doing things I love and helping as many people as I can along the way.

I agree with your message here: Get off your @#!*% and DO something with your life! The world is waiting to experience your greatness!!Paige | simple mindfulness recently posted … Your Attitude Determines Your Outcome

I LOVE knowing this about you, Paige! Wow! I so admire people who step back away from the power, prestige and pay and look for something more rewarding and meaningful to do with their lives. Don’t get me wrong, I think there is huge amounts of meaning in the corporate world, producing products people want, making jobs, benefiting stockholders and the like. It is a blessing to the economy generally. But for a person who doesn’t find meaning there, for THAT person, I have nothing but admiration because of the courage and passion needed to make such dramatic life-altering changes. You’re an inspiration!

And yes, life is too short to sit around everyday wishing for a life we’re not working to create. I like what you said here: “The world is waiting to experience your greatness!!”

This is a really great post on making decisions in your life. Making sure you know where you are going, and not letting others decide your future. Why would you want someone else to tell you where you’re going in life. The right attitude will move you forward. Life is just too short to let your life float by and some people need a real kick up the ……

This mindset should be taught in schools to give the kids the right start in life.

Awesome comments, Suzie! I love you thinking! And I agree, it does need to be taught in school. I’m a high school teacher and start each semester asking my kids to think about what they want from life, how to get it and that they have the power to shape that life in very significant ways.

I like the way you worded that, Suzie: “Life is just too short to let your life float by …” That’s exactly how a life unrealized slips away: it floats, drifting day after day further out of reach because we never choose to start the engine and go upstream.

Sad to admit my statue would be watching, reading, learning, but not making the hard choices to create a great life. Time for me to make some choices, get going, be willing to step, fall, learn & keep going. I stepped out of the fast track many years ago like Paige, but haven’t found the next thing to fill my days & heart with purpose. Since I don’t seem to know, I’ll have to experiment.

thanks for your great reminders about choices, character, and action.Brad recently posted … Pause and Refresh

What’s so awesome about life is that we can make course changes anytime, all the time, in hundreds of large and small ways. As I see it, it really doesn’t matter so much where we’ve been or even where we are right now as much as where we’re headed. So don’t regret the past. Just aim your ship in the direction you want it pointing, and set off! Think of all the reading and thinking, watching and learning as the necessary precursor for the next steps you’ll take in life, because, in fact, it is! It’s been an investment is you knowledge base that can now be drawn on to move forward.

Another joy to living (even if sometimes frustrating) is the process of discovery. We wanted to open our daughter up to all kind of opportunities to discover what made her blood flow. So we introduced her to dance and sports and music and travel and let her gravitate to what she was passionate about. It happened to be piano. But maybe you could do the same. Get out and explore. See what makes your heart race.

One last word: Greatness can be defined in so many ways. There are billionaires wielding influence. There are politicians wielding power. There are movement leaders changing culture. And then there are quiet lives of decency and responsibility and devotion to loved ones. So don’t be too quick to throw yourself under the bus of non-greatness. You very well could be living a life of integrity, of high character, of compassion and love for others. And that, my friend, would be a great life indeed. Greatness doesn’t have to be displayed in loud and media-worthy ways. I’m convinced there are millions and millions of great people living quiet but exemplary lives of kindness and faith and dedication to family and friends.

So glad you stopped by and shared your thoughts with us here, Brad. Have a great weekend!

This is such a powerful post – and I’m glad I got to read it on a Friday when I’m ready to race out of the office and get stuck into the weekend.

For me, my writing is what keeps me pulsating. It moves me, it furthers me and it’s how I hope to help change the world. I really believe words have power. This year I’ve been working tirelessly on my blog and my writing business, because I woke up and realised no one was going to do this for me. I hope my statue would read, ‘Here stands Kat Tate, an honest writer who used the written world to help others live their very best lives.’

You’re so right that many of us see life as sleep — work — TV — sleep — work — TV — sleep…and this routine saps our soul. Getting off the couch and throwing ourselves into life might be scary, but with that comes exhilaration and being something truly special.

Thanks so much, Kat! I know what you mean about writing. It drives me. I’m passionate about. It is such an outlet for me as well. I’m on board for changing the world with the pen (er, the keyboard!!)! (Hey, that gives me an idea for a future post! Thanks!)

Ideas have consequences and words are the conveyors of those ideas. They breath life into them and lift them or bury them according to the strength of the words used to convey them. Words truly do, as you say, have power.

Thank you so much for your wise and insightful words here, Kat. Loved your thoughts the words on the base of the statue of your life: “Here stands Kat Tate, an honest writer who used the written world to help others live their very best lives.” Just awesome!

Stand up to your full height Ken, don’t walk around crouched over.
During my Game of Life I have found myself playing, being substituted(benched) and being left out of the team altogether.
Now that was in my earlier Life. I have rewitten my rules(of life) and now play to full capacity(and height)…..thankyou for this
be good to yourself
DavidDavid Stevens recently posted … Just saying it as it is…..Part 1

Sure, we’ve all been on the bench of life before! But your life is the perfect example of what we can do with present realities. Pick them up, tweak a few things, reset the course, and set of for new shores!

I like the idea of you rewriting new rules, unstuck from familial or cultural status quoism. We can all learn from you that we are not bound to our pasts or shackled to past outcomes or past methods or past mindsets.

That’s been a perennial debate, Evan. So interesting. Is a quiet life of contemplation as noble as a life of service? Preference and beauty is, to some extent, in the eye of the beholder. But putting preference aside more a moment, is a life devoted to improving others lives inherently more meaningful than one of internal contemplation?

I personally tend to be an introvert. I’m as happy as a peach with a laptop, my thoughts, and the creativity of writing in front of me. But without reaching out to make a difference, I also recognize that I’m living a relatively self-indulgent life of much less meaning and significance than it otherwise would be.

Still, you make a great point that we do have preferences and these preferences can go far in determining how our lives play out. There is, after all, more than one way to live a significant life. But I would say while taking a stand can be very different than ambition, by taking a stand, we very well could be making a huge impact on others, if for no other reason than by force of our example.

This post really promotes personal reflection on many levels for me. It made me think of what I would ideally want the statue to be of, what I honestly think it should be of, what I think others think it’d be of, and how that might be different according to different relationships (what my husband, brother, parents, friends, teachers, students, etc. would think).

Ideally, I would want the statue to be of someone who is serving or helping another, or doing some sort of kind gesture. I think of Christ and how He was all about love and service, how he gave of himself fully without any self reserves.
–I say this is ideal, because I’m definitely not 100% selfless. In fact, I can be pretty selfish sometimes I know that it can get the best of me. I think this persona is something I strive for because I want to honestly say to myself that I am a very selfless person and constantly work at it.

Honestly, I would see a statue of myself with lots of children around me laughing and playing. Not all of them would be mine either, I just love kids and they are just the most joyful beings on earth! But being honest with myself also brings to my attention qualities I posses that may not be so positive and wonder, is this who I really am at the core of my being? Or are these traits that kind of make me rough around the edges, but don’t determine the whole picture? I would like to think of it like that and try to smooth them out throughout life.

As for what I think others close to me would think the statue would be is probably a range of ideas: a pianist, a listener, a homemaker, a playmate, one who laughs a lot, or whatever it may be. I just think it might be different than what I would personally from my point of view think the statue would be of.

Anyway, this is really an insightful post and I appreciate the thought process it offers to the reader. Thank you!

Wow! Let’s see. First of all, thank you so much for taking what I wrote so much to heart. I love following your thought process. You are a thinker, for sure. I love that about you too. It really means a lot to have my thoughts taken so seriously. You’re certainly invited back to this party any time you’d like to stop by!

You present some very fascinating (and insightful) ways of looking at the stature question. It’s true that for most of us, our statue may look very different depending on whether we, our spouses, parents, children, work associates, best friend or children are designing the statue.

But in the end, we are a mix of strengths and weaknesses, character traits and flaws and personality quirks. We are the sum total of these characteristics. Sometimes we can get into the habit of taking one or two negatives, holding them up so close to the mirror that all we see reflected is through the prism of that weakness. But that’s not us. We are the whole package, including our potential selves as well who haven’t yet fully materialized. And what’s so wonderful about “statue building” is that the chisel is on our hands to slowly carve out of the rock the person we choose to be, smoothing off those rough edges you spoke of a little at a time.

I’m glad that you opened this article with the question, ‘What do you stand for’? This is the first step in standing up and being counted. Without an answer to this question we can never advance to anything, much less advancing toward achieving our goals.

It is indeed the first step. If we don’t know what we stand for, how will we know what to stand up for? I love Alexander Hamilton’s quote that says, “Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.” Then we’re left to drift on currents of different people’s making. Not a fair trade, if you ask me!

I followed Vidya’s example and asked people. The two people I asked were my two daughters because they are just in the next room. After the initial confusion (“You are going to get a statue of yourself?” “NO!”), one daughter said I would be reading a book. The other daughter said I would be teaching, standing up with my hands moving around!Galen Pearl recently posted … Radical Forgiveness

Haha! I LOVE that! Mine might be reading too, or at the keyboard these days. I’m assuming you talk with your hands too? I’m always gesticulating while I teach. My students sometimes tease me about it.

I wonder what kinds of responses others would get from people they ask about their personal statues. I wonder if (as BJW pointed out) they would get different responses from different people in their lives.

What a wonderful post, Ken! I love thinking about what I stand for. So many things! My statue would be holding a child in one arm, a book under my arm and a globe in my other hand. I would have a shovel leaning up against me and a big cooking spoon behind my ear (it’s a statue so it won’t fall out!).Betsy at Zen Mama recently posted … Live Life In Reverse

That’s great, Chris! Thinking through what we stand for and how that applies to how we live our lives is such an important exercise. So many people, I suspect, go through life without much thought given to their character, what they stand for, or on what issues their values compel them to stand.

Still, you make a critical point about courage. It’s one thing to consider character and values and what we SHOULD stand for and another thing to actually stand. Maybe it’s as much the lack of courage as it is the lack of much thought about values that is the culprit to society’s failure to stand up for what we ought to be standing for.

It feels like I need to break not only one, but several bad habits. Right now I just stand on the pavement and watch my and other people’s lives passing by…it is tough. Ibelievet hat finding a new goal would help me start. Thanks for this inspiration!Anna recently posted … A great place to go to: a cosmetic dentist london

Welcome to the club, Anna! Most everyone has a bundle of habits holding us back. Nothing unique about that!

But Getting clear about our values, setting goals in areas of life that reflect and reinforce those values, then taking steps, even if only baby ones, toward those goals can awaken our lives to new possibilities like little else. That way we can feel like we’re moving THROUGH life rather than life passing us by.

So I certainly advocate taking some time and setting some goals and taking those steps. Either way, in 5 years, you’ll still be 5 years older. Why not 5 years further down a road you start today?

A statue of me. Got to think about that one. I would have s a statue standing tall, maybe not to tall since I am on the short side. Any way one hand would be up in the air with the elbow bent just a bit like I was staying “YES”. At the bottom it would say, “The lady that did it her way and it finally worked.”

Some days I can be a little slow in figure out my direction, but I do figure it out. I am always moving forward even when my knees get a little dirty. (Good at falling forward)

I love the thought of your statue standing tallish (:)), arm to the square, saying, “Yes!” I especially like the dirty knees from “falling forward.” That, as I always tell me kids, is what life is all about. Falling is inevitable. How we fall, how long we stay down, and what we do thereafter and what we learn from the fall that determines the rest of our lives after the inevitable fall.

You have a great life philosophy, Debbie. Very inspiring! Thanks for sharing it.

ah – i have been thinking similar things this week: how do I want to brand myself? What do I want to be known for? what is my game?
a mentor once said to me, to visualize what would be written about me in my obituary and start living it. it’s similar to what you said here, albeit more morbid :p
but yes, we need to stop sitting on the side and thinking “if only, if i could, maybe”
just do it!
Noch NochNoch Noch | be me. be natural. recently posted … apologies for my arrogance

I’ve done that exercise. Stephen R. Covey (in one of his books. Don’t remember if it was 7 Habits or not) uses the concept of writing our obituary to help us see the end from the beginning. Then we can better plan our lives around those values and priorities that will produce the end we envisioned in the activity.

Morbid, yes, but also very powerful. Puts things in perspective, laser-like honing in on those things that matter most.

We certainly are plagued with limitations, aren’t we! One of life’s great challenges and rewards is that process of discovering, exploring, then overcoming those limitations. With each discovery and elimination, we become increasingly free. Not a bad way to live life, Ben.

The statue was meant to get us thinking about what most symbolizes and reflects our lives, not to get us to go do something worthy of having a statue erected in our name necessarily. That was not the point at all. But as we think about what a statue would look like and what would be written on its base IF it was erected, we can take a look into ourselves from a perspective we may not have considered before.

Besides, my major point wasn’t on accomplishing something great, but on becoming someone great. There are people today, right now, perhaps reading this post who don’t much like themselves because of the guilt they feel for abusing their kids or losing their tempers with their spouses or using illicit drugs or living the life of a prostitute or any number of values-based character-based challenges.

For such people in these and similar circumstances, the ONLY road to happiness is not in self-acceptance, but in growth. A self-accepting drug dealer who beats his wife and ignores his children is not a good thing, or a happy way to live. The kinder, more patient, more forgiving, more loving, better able to overlook others’ weaknesses, and able to persevere in the face of trial and tragedy, the happier the person will be. That requires change, personal growth, becoming something we aren’t quite yet.

So I do think happiness at its highest potential does require something out of us that makes us better than we were.

I deeply appreciate your point of view and am glad you shared it here and would love to get know what you think about my response.

Glad to clarify, Betty the Hippo. Thank you for challenging me so I could unmuddy some muddy waters. There were likely many others thinking the same thing, so you did us all a favor and, again, I thank you for that.

Great question, Ken. Makes me think of Shelley’s Ozymandias poem. When I imagine my statue I see the great lions outside of the New York Public Library. I like to visualize having some of my writing housed within. To me that would be the greatest honor. To know I’m leaving behind a conversation that will continue to live on after I’m gone. In a sense, my own statue will be the books I’ve authored.rob white recently posted … Stage 3 of Creation – Give Yourself Permission to Fail

Hi Rob! I love it! Your published books are certainly a monument to you, to your thoughts, to your ideas, to your passion, to your values, to your compassion. I also love the idea of a conversation lingering after we’re gone, instigated, or at least fanned, by the words we leave behind.

In the past, I was relying on outside help, looking for a savior. Looking for something external to fix all my problems. Now I’m taking full responsibility for my life. It’s daunting, because its so new to me. I’m really concentrating on becoming financially independent and sharing my journey through my blog. It’s a huge step outside my comfort zone, but I know I won’t live the life of my dreams sitting at home watching TV all dayRad recently posted … Ground Zero

Hello Rad! I think that’s pretty darned awesome that you took the plunge into the wonderful world of self-responsibility! Congratulations. I have to say, it sure is easier to blame everyone and everything for how we feel at any given moment, but it sure is powerless and frustrating and not conducive to much happiness, is it!

And along those same lines, welcome to a life with the TV off and the heart open and the mind awake and the conscience tuned and the comfort zone stretched and a life truly amazing waiting to be discovered, explored and created! Welcome to what life was meant to be!

“Get out of bed and turn off the TV and get doing something. Anything.”

I agree with this. Some people have just become comfortable doing only trivial things, not knowing that they can achieve more if they go out and to what they really have to do.Andre recently posted … blu smokeless cigarettes

There is just so tremendously much humanity can do. We are endowed with such incredible power for doing good. And yet, as you say, so many of us sit on our hands, doing little, not only NOT taking steps into our potential, but taking steps AWAY from it, frittering away the precious moments we have.

Thanks so much for sharing some of your time with me here. It truly means a lot to me.

I totally agree with the article, some people really stands on these sidelines. But sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zones to reach our goals. We have to live our life, not only exist. Create, plan, do, act are the impressive activities in life. The success never comes without hard work.Julie recently posted … dental implants

Hi Julie! I have to say it’s been nice getting to know you as you’ve been stopping by and sharing your thoughts here lately. It’s been a pleasure.

Yes, “create, plan, do, act” such sexy words full of action and movement, building and growing and overcoming and producing. We can do so much to improve our lives and the lives of others and society in general. We just have to want it bad enough and go for it. You’re also right that success doesn’t come without hard work. But that extra difficult work also makes the successes we experience so much sweeter!

Excellent post. Yes, it is time to stand and be counted. I like how you phrase that. This is how I look at life and it may be different than others, but I choose to live 😉 Thanks for sharing! -DeborahDeborah E recently posted … 4 Things My Grandpa Taught Me

Hi Deborah! Thanks so much for stopping by and saying hi! “I choose to live.” What an awesome motto to live by! I suppose every crossroads has that question poised above the two paths. Which one will lead to more life and which one leads downhill, into sameness and stagnation? I too choose to live, Deborah! Thanks for sharing those motivating words!

I love it, Wendy! H.O.P.E. is such a great motto to live by and the statue would be so inspiring too. Excellence in any form (sports, music, art, industry, whatever) is something that excites me and inspires me. Thank you for devoting yourself to its cause!

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Hi! I’m Ken Wert, founder of M2bH. My purpose here is to inspire you to live a richer life of greater purpose and meaning, of mind-blowing possibility and deeper, more soul-satisfying happiness than you ever dreamt was possible. Join us on this adventure of unlocking hidden potential to enjoy the rewards of a life well lived. Read more ...

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