The true story of four North Perth residents and their quest to dine in every restaurant on Beaufort Street.

24 July 2008

Inglewood Pizza Bar

Firstly, we'd like to again thank Lazy Aussie of the Worst of Perth for allowing us to use this picture (posted here and tagged 'worst advertising', 'worst graphic design' and 'worst sign' - all of which sum it up better than we ever could). This worst can be seen on the front window of the Inglewood Pizza Bar.

So, as you may have gathered, the Beaufort Street Bloggers made the commitment to finally tick Inglewood Pizza off the list. We’re not sure why it took us so long, it may have been the terrible pizza experiences we encountered on our way down the Inglewood part of the strip, it may have been that we generally leave pizza for impromptu Friday night house parties, or it may have simply been a result of passing by this picture time after time. Anyway, we didn’t need to put it off for so long, because in the end the pizza was pretty damn good.

The Brains rang the order through. Once again, with no menu, she was left floundering – and she was not helped by the less-than-friendly guy at the other end of the phone. The Brains first asked whether Inglewood Pizza Bar did a special. This caused some confusion with the order taker, and he asked what she meant by ‘special’. ‘Umm, do you have, like, an “Inglewood Pizza Special” on your menu or something like that?’ queried the Brains. ‘We’ve got a pizza called the Inglewood Special if that’s what you mean?’. Bingo.

Having crossed that bridge, the Brains didn’t know where to go next – having never been to Inglewood Pizza Bar, she was unsure as to whether they had gourmet treats on offer, or whether the standard Hawaiian & meatlovers were the go (looking back, it is obvious really). So, getting herself into a bit of a panic because the fellow on the phone was getting fairly impatient, the Brains caved and asked for one with the lot, as that is as far as her imagination could take her under the stressed state she was in. When we picked up the pizzas and read the menu we found that the ‘Inglewood Special’ and ‘the Lot’ were largely identical, except that the Lot had pineapple and bacon on it too. This would have been something that would have been good to know at the time of order.

To the ambience. Interestingly, Inglewood Pizza calls itself a ‘Pizza Bar’. This conjured up images of a casual pizza joint, complete with high tables and bar stools on which punters could sit on and dine in, perhaps some cheerful Italian music and the availability of something to drink (being Perth, we certainly didn’t expect alcoholic drink, but perhaps a few softies would have been on hand). In fact, the Inglewood Pizza Bar is an enormous barren space, with no decoration, no music, no life, no charm, no stools, no chairs - but with 2 leatherette couches (which looked like they were borrowed from a student who had found them on the side of the road) facing a fuzzy tv and an enormous magazine rack. Weird. We also counted 3 drinks fridges, but together they housed exactly 2 bottles of soft drink (and even those appeared to be the employees’ drinks). Not that it mattered, we didn’t plan to dine in.

The fellow who the Brians spoke to on the phone took about 5 minutes to come out to the shop front after we arrived. But, once he was there, he was reasonably friendly and the Brains realised he wasn’t a bad sort at all, perhaps just not great with people.

The pizzas themselves were super. The bases were thin and crispy. The toppings on both pizzas consisted of capsicum, fresh tomato, olives, salami, anchovies & mushrooms. As mentioned earlier, the Lot also came with bacon and pineapple. All the toppings were generously portioned, and seemed to be of reasonably good quality. The anchovies in particular were liberally applied – they were nice chunky bits of fish, as opposed to the tiny stringy things that often appear on takeaway pizza. If you don’t love anchovies, we’d suggest you specifically ask for a small amount.

We also liked the good sized pieces of fresh tomato, and of course, the fact that at Inglewood Pizza, they’re not afraid to be heavy handed with the salami. We all love processed meat, and lots of it. All in all, the pizzas were fresh, tasty and unlike those from Magic Pizza or the Civic Hotel, very edible. We do note that the menu is fairly limited, and that customers should be aware that Inglewood Pizza does not sell gourmet pizza like Stones Pizza in North Perth, it is more along the lines of good solid Friday night takeaway pizza, perhaps more akin to Marco’s Pizza in Tuart Hill.

In summary:

Service: Pretty gruff over the phone, but we suspect there’s a softie underneath.

Food: Fresh toppings and crispy bases make good pizza.

Ambience: Urgh. Although there was an incredible selection of back issues of Who and OK! Magazines.

Highlight: The anchovies.

Lowlight: The failure to mention we had ordered 2 practically identical pizzas.

Rating: 3.5 shabby couches out of 5.

Will we be back? Possibly, but we’d be more likely to continue buying takeaway pizzas from venues with a more varied menu.Details: Call them on (08) 9271 3196 – there’s no website which makes over the phone ordering a little difficult. It was a low low $36 for 2 massive family sized pizzas which (almost) satisfied the 4 of us. We don’t think they deliver, or at least, they have declined to deliver when we tried to order from them in the past.

Coming up: Well, we just discovered that Chicken Treat in Inglewood has a Beaufort Street address, as does Mt Lawley Fish and Chips – and we’re pretty keen to finalise everything north of Walcott Street before we cross the road. Even though we’re pretty much over takweay, we might knock one of those off next week. The week after that we may finally make it to Da Bruno’s as Stinky’s eastern-states based grandma may be available for babysitting. Thanks Mother of BOOTO!

12 comments:

Good question david, and the answer is no. Interestingly, not one of the Beaufort Street Bloggers was on the invitation list, and nor did any of us appear in STM's 'Perth A List' article over the weeked. Amazing but true.

The Brains did check out the opening though. When she tried to casually stroll through the opening breakfast like she belonged, she was quickly and quietly told to turn around and go back.

Yes, the vast space is a mystery. Why isn't it chockers with pinballs, with perhaps a cocktail cabinet Defender or Galaxian?I'd be recommending perhaps a 1978Playboy, although slightly too easy to play, or perhaps a Ted Nugent from the same year.http://www.shootagainpinball.com/pinball/images/Nugent%201.JPG

Is that guy's guitar doubling as a gun? Amazing. What's coming off his forehead, empty shells? Or butts from a few rolly fags? It's quite hard to tell.

Another thing - is putting a couch and a wood panelled tv in a pizza store the done thing these days? We've noticed that World Gourmet Pizza and Cafe that's just moved to Walcott Street in North Perth has a similar set up. Who would prefer sit on a fourth hand couch and watch NCIS in black and white in pizza store than sit on their own couch and see it in colour at home?

As rents rise on the Beaufort street arrondisement, they will need to think of something better to do with all the space.

Ted Nugent is now some kind of pro hunting and guns redneck. A deaf redneck, since he destroyed his ears with his own music. An influence on Henry Rollins and heavy metal fans who like to kill and skin their own meals.

It sounds like procurement of a menu is a must before dining at Inglewood Pizza. However I may just pop down and bring a camping chair, hell maybe even pitch a dome tent if there is that much space, and peruse the range of pizzas.

Terrifying to hear that you will be visiting Chicken Treat Inglewood. I can honestly say it is the worst rotisserie chicken takeaway establishment in Perth. Much different to its heyday of 1997, and note the awards certificates from that era are still proudly displayed on the walls. A true test is for a customer to order some sort of ¼ chicken “with a wing”. I am not sure what sort of hormones Chicken Treat feed their birds but each time I have done so their wings come out looking like legs. With the rising cost of fuel I'd advise to check the order before leaving the store, or find out once and for all whether Chicken Treat do actually farm 4 legged birds.

That's a bloody scary review of the Inglewood Chicken Treat. We have not yet crossed that bridge but will do very soon. We actually like Chicken Treat, and now that the Charles Street North Perth one has closed we're left with little options other than to go to the Inglewood store. We're quite upset about what a bad substitute it looks like being.

went to Inglewood Pizza for the 1st time in a decade tonight. Got a gourmet vegetarian takeaway. After reading the review I popped in a got a menu on the way home. Rang up , ordered and 30 mins later had the pizza.The couch wasn't there 10 years ago, nor were I think the most strange blinds on the windows, which say to the passing traffic- don't come in here'.There was one person in the shop who was making use of the couch,slunk down in it having an intense conversation on her mobile, glancing at me every now and then. Perhaps she thought I was an off duty police officer.

Pizza was good, though next time I'll go a normal vegetarian as there were a few too many spicy little green things on this one. But on the whole it was promising- not overly fatty and dripping with cheese for one.Back there next Friday - pizza night at my house.

Beaufort Street Bloggers

It has been a long held tradition for the Beaufort Street Bloggers to eat together on a Thursday night. After all, Thursday is the new Friday. To spice up Thursday night dining in 2008, a unanimous decision was made to eat at every restaurant on Beaufort Street, starting from the top of Inglewood and working our way down to the city. There will undoubtedly be some lowlights (think Dial-A-Chop-Stix and the Civic Hotel), but there is a whole bunch of good food around this part of town. The rules are simple, to qualify, a restaurant must have room for us to sit in and be open on Thursday nights. This blog documents the results of this lofty challenge. If you want to contact the bloggers, please email beaufortstreetbloggers [at] gmail [dot] com

So who are the Beaufort Street Bloggers?

The Deliberator

World renowned (he has excessively deliberated over menus the world over, to the chagrin of many a waiter), the Deliberator takes pride in his ability to frustrate even the most tolerant of wait staff, let alone his long suffering fellow Beaufort Street Bloggers.

Reflecting on himself (in a positive light as always), the Deliberator lists his favourite past times as pork belly, champagne cocktails and falling asleep on other people’s couches. Upon review of what lies ahead of him in the 2008 Beaufort Street Challenge, the Deliberator remained focussed on the year ahead, stating only that he was glad there were going to be a few budget Thursday nights ahead, as he has already committed 3 months wages to the purchase of a ring from Tiffanys for a certain pixie haired blonde within the team.

Despite still harbouring a love of vegemite on toast from his university days, the Deliberator prides himself on his culinary prowess and exacting standards. He has declared 2008 the year he not only finally drives a waiter to suicide and/or mass murder, but also establishes himself as the West’s answer to the Lygon Street gangster, tipping that before the year is out the name “Deliberator” will be spoken with hushed reverence in cafes and restaurants the length and breadth of Beaufort St.

The Brains

Aptly named because she is indeed the “brains" behind the 2008 Beaufort Street Challenge and also, because sometimes she just seems so smart the entire team prefers that she orders for them, the Brains is a complex character – lawyer by day, avid restaurant reviewer by night and frustrated interior decorator for pretty much all of the time in between.

The 2008 Beaufort Street Challenge came to the Brains whilst on her 7th glass of champagne just after Christmas 2007. Throwing caution to the wind, she drained her glass, slammed the table and declared to all and sundry in a rather agitated voice “2008….2008 we’re doing it. We’re starting at the top and we’re not stopping til the end!” Upon seeing the puzzled stares of those around her , the Brains went on to explain in more detail that what she meant was that 2008 was the year she and her fellow diners would begin at the top of Beaufort Street and eat at every eating establishment before the year was out. Needless to say her fellow team members were yet again left reeling at the sheer genius that is “The Brains”.

The Brains is also the long suffering partner of the Deliberator, having accompanied him on his most recent overseas expeditions to restaurants throughout Europe and Asia. Amenable in nature and blessed with the patience of a saint, the Brains only has to see a Tiffany & Co. advertisement to remind herself that one day, one day very soon, it will all be worthwhile….

Bito (Bun in the Oven)

Reformed party girl whose previous mantra was “Thursday is the new Friday”, BITO is currently at the 24 week mark of an alcohol free sentence known to most as pregnancy. Whilst BYO and corkage are no longer of concern to BITO, it is testament to her spirit and commitment to the team that she has committed herself to the 2008 Beaufort Street challenge in the role of designated driver.

Even before eating for 2, BITO was a committed fan of various Beaufort Street establishments and did not have to be asked twice when contacted by the Brains with regards to the 2008 Beaufort Street Challenge, stating only that there was no bloody way she was doing Jackson’s degustation menu sans alcohol.

Married to “The Sponge”, Bito is renowned in the team for her new found patience and tolerance of drunkards in her automobile.

The Sponge

Standing at the immodest height of 6 foot 4”, with size 14 feet, the Sponge has an appetite known to send many a kitchen into a flurry and a capacity for alcohol that has seen more than the odd sommelier rubbing his hands in delight.

Responsible for BITO’s current plight, the Sponge sees 2008 as the year he becomes a first time father yes, but more importantly, the year in which finally establishes himself as force to be reckoned within the Beaufort Street precinct.

When asked what unique attributes he thought he brought to the 2008 Beaufort Street Challenge, the Sponge declared that whilst he preferred to think of himself as a bit of an “all rounder”, he did think his world class background in spaghetti marinara and a capacity to calculate corkage in the blink of an eyelid were going to prove invaluable to the team in the year ahead.