Yahoo! TV 2012 Soap Awards

Our resident soap expert Jon Horsley dons his best suit as he dishes out the 2012 Yahoo! TV soap awards…Unhappy new year: EastEnders started 2012 with a death (Credit: BBC)

The Cheers! Award for the Happiest New Year!

Nominees: Becky's lonely drunken vigil in ‘Corrie’ still resounds with us. How good was Becky? How good is Katherine Kelly? We will not see her like again. Not for her the sad return after a failed career, we're certain. ‘Emmerdale’ had the slightly sad sight of Cain revealing his own dad beat his head in – but it was Cain so you, know, who wouldn't.

The winner: Easiest one of the year. On the very first show of the New Year, 'Enders' knocked off Pat Butcher. Her last words were: “I'm scared.” Start the year as you mean to go on, 'Enders'. Start as you mean to go on. Here's to 2013 beginning with the slow decline of baby Lexi into drug abuse.

The Vicki Fowler Award for Most Loveable Child Actor

Nominees: Let’s cut to the chase, there’s only one clear champ in this category…

The winner: Alex Bain, 'Corrie's Simon Barlow.

Blast from the past: Wendy Crozier returned to Corrie (Credit: ITV)

The Trevor Jordache Award for Longest Running Storyline

Nominees: A weak category for 'Emmerdale', which only really stretched out the “saviour sibling” business because of the awkward gestation period. Normally, they fire through plot lines quicker than Carla goes through a bottle of red. 'EastEnders' had a strong year, dragging out Heather's murderer plotline out until it became a combination of both wildly ridiculous and dull and keeping Kat's lover a secret for so long, we think it might have been Dirty Den, when he was alive.

The winner: The return after years of Wendy Crozier to 'Corrie'. Still, as Roberta Kerr said when she left in 1678 (approx): “Verily, I am looking forward unto new projects – but the door shall remaineth open.”

The Phil Mitchell on Crack Award for Most Believable Storyline

Nominations: Always a strong runner in this category, 'Hollyoaks' had serial killer Silas manipulating a victim's sister from hospital before escaping easily and going on the run again. 'Enders' had Ben's whole holding on to the murder weapon around the killing of Heather. 'Emmerdale' had a saviour sibling, about four complex love triangles or squares and of course a sell-out pop festival on the Dales in late October.

The winner: As every year, everything to do with Cain Dingle on 'Emmerdale'. Kicking off 2013 with an affair with a woman who hates him and whose dalliance last time indirectly led to the death of her husband. Hurrah!

The Car Safety Award

The nominees: 'Enders' Joey and Lauren smashing in relatively slow motion into a shop in Derek's Daimler. Which then exploded as if the shop was selling semtex. In fairness it was around fireworks night in East London, so this is not totally out of the question. The Bartons on 'Emmerdale' had a Landrover (or similar make), which seemed designed to roll sideways over and over again.

The winner: 'Hollyoaks' highly explosive minibus-cum F1 car which veered out of control, blew up a building and killed four people including Maddie in one of the most unfortunate (cough, hilarious) “door falling from the sky” scenes ever filmed.

Riches to rags: Ian Beale turned tramp in EastEnders (Credit: BBC)

The Best Dressed Man in Soapland Award

Nominees: Peter “Rebel Without A Cause (but with a Primark)” Barlow. Enders' Alfie “Shirts” Moon and Zak “You can smell the Manure” Dingle.

The winner: Ian Beale as a tramp. Perhaps not best dressed but certainly the funniest.

The Match Made in Heaven Award

The nominees: Cameron and Chas on 'Emmerdale'. Cracking onto your niece's fella, while she's pregnant? Top aunting. Tracy and Ryan on 'Corrie' – unlikely in the extreme but marks off for being hilarious and somehow more believable than Sunita and Karl.

The winner: Michael “Schemer” Moon and Janine “Insane” Butcher. So, you're rich, cunning and going to marry someone who is out for nothing but money. Right? Sounds totally in character.

“She Just Sat Up, Broke Wind and Died” Funniest Moment Award

The nominees: Peter Barlow grabbing Norris in a headlock and kissing his head. Terry: “Dad would be turning in his grave”. Tommy: “He was cremated.” A lot of Carla's one liners. Marlon and Paddy getting back together at the spa on 'Emmerdale'. Billy's whole Olympic torch episode on Enders.

The winner: 'EastEnders' brilliant bar brawl scene. Makes it all the more sad that they don't go for comedy more often.