Toothless Hubby Drives Wife Crazy

June 09, 1988|By Abigail Van Buren.

Dear Abby: For years my husband neglected his teeth because he was afraid of dentists. Of course, he lost all his teeth, and now he has dentures, which he never wears unless he has to appear in public.

Abby, looking at him without teeth is offensive, and watching him eat is unbearable! He is 60 years old and still goes to work every day, but I dread the day he retires because he never wears his dentures at home.

His father was the same way-he refused to put his teeth in around the house. His mother finally gave up nagging him because they had a fight every time she mentioned how terrible he looked without his teeth.

My husband`s dentures are beautiful, and he says they fit fine, so that`s no excuse for not wearing them. I sometimes wonder if he goes without teeth just to irritate me.

I hope you have some good advice for me because this problem is making me crazy. Thank you.

Revolted in Maine

Dear Revolted: I think your husband is lying through his toothless mouth when he tells you that his dentures fit fine. (If they did, he`d wear them when he eats because eating without teeth is no pleasure.)

Why is he lying to you? Because he`s still afraid of dentists and doesn`t want to go back to have his dentures adjusted-which is exactly what he should do.

Dear Abby: A woman wrote in with a serious concern about her boss`s computer addiction, and you pointed out how useful computers are and brushed aside her complaint. One of the most destructive forces in the workplace today is addictive computer hobbying. Computers are essential tools in the workplace, but much time and money are wasted when ``working`` with the computer becomes an end in itself.

The reason that computer hobbying is so dangerous is that it is difficult to distinguish from real work. If I spent 80 percent of my time at work carving decoys or playing cards, I would be fired. However, I can spend 80 percent of my time on our computer just for the sheer joy of it and be highly valued, even if I never produce anything really worthwhile.

The boss of the woman who wrote to you has discovered that ``working`` on the computer is more fun than any other part of his job (or life?). He will not simply computerize the operation and back off. He will continue to spend all his time reading about computers, talking about computers, studying and buying new hardware and software, programming, reprogramming, running off unnecessary memos and statistics, and visiting other people`s computers.

When you give a 4-year-old a hammer, suddenly a lot of things need hammering. When you give a burned-out worker or administrator a computer, a lot of things need computerization.

Hal

Dear Hal: There is no denying that computers have become the ``in`` toys for those who can afford (and understand) them. In fact, they are so ``hot``

that next year a more sophisticated model will come out and make the latest obsolete. Readers?

``How to Be Popular`` is for everyone who feels left out and wants an improved social life. It`s an excellent guide to becoming a better