Best Road to Avoid (2007)

I-595 westbound around 5 p.m.

Don't have anywhere to be for a while? A long, long while? Then go ahead and make a late-afternoon appointment somewhere in Weston or Southwest Ranches. Try to get on any westbound 595 on-ramp  go ahead, just try it  and see how long it takes before you've ripped hair from your scalp by the fistful. Once you finally gain entrance to the crowded east-west artery, you'll watch as time seems to literally stand still. It's just an illusion, though, since that's actually you standing still, along with the rest of the cars littering this godforsaken road. Tempers flare like trousers on That '70s Show, because creeping ahead at 2 mph like cattle approaching the blood-letting room apparently brings out the very worst in people. In the time it takes to get from University to Pine Island, some drivers actually have two or even three birthdays; some get married and divorced; babies are born in back seats as their parents' cars trundle upon this westerly wasteland. Oh, and that 5:30 appointment? You'd better reschedule, bub.