Behind Rush Limbaugh's reddened face, his brain muscles are flexing, throbbing, pulsing, his cranial peristalsis ever-pushing forth a stream of thoughts designed to bring a certain segment of the American population closer to the version of truth that will most perfectly complement their middle aged white guy persecution complex. Today's trollariffic conspiracy theory? Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is a member of a secret sisterhood of Muslim ladies with Huma Abedin and the new First Lady of Egypt. Sort of like The Babysitter's Club, but instead of taking care of Stony Brook children, they get together and hate America.

The "Ergo, Hillary Clinton is a Muslim" theory was borne from comments Clinton made after the election of Egypt's new President Mohammed Morsi. Speaking from a secret Muslim lair in Finland, Clinton told reporters that she hoped Morsi would include women, Christians, and young people in his new government.

But, as Think Progress points out, Limbaugh took Clinton's innocuous, diplomatically banal statement as a sign that she's definitely in cahoots with Morsi's Muslim Brotherhood political party. He said,

Huma Abedin, Mrs. Anthony Weiner, Mrs. Huma Weiner, she is Hillary Clinton's number one aide. And Huma's mother is best friends with the new First Lady of Egypt, the wife of the new Muslim Brotherhood guy, Morsi. That's really all you need to know. But there's much more to know. That's why Hillary is out celebrating the brotherhood. That's why Hillary is joining Obama in telling the military to give it up for the Brotherhood guy. Because Huma's mom, there's actually a group, the Muslim Sisterhood, essentially, that is an offshoot of the Brotherhood. And Huma's mom is best friends with the new so-called First Lady of Egypt, who is also a member of the Sisterhood.

So what does Rush Limbaugh think that Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin and Huma Abedin's mom and the President of Egypt's wife do during their secret club meetings? Bake exploding suicide cookies? Knit guns for people to smuggle onto airplanes? Sit around and gossip about how Ryan Gosling is a super hot infidel? Get pedicures in the colors of, uh, Islam?

At least he didn't call her a slut that owed the taxpayers on-camera sex.