Friday, 17 February 2012

i should've knew it. i'll nver forgive u bitch. u know how hard for me to see u with my boy shitt?!!! if ure in my condition u'll know how's the feeling to be a "death living"? im just hated u very much! u just can't leave us alone don't u. thre's must to be decide who's among us will go on. but i choose to go away.i can't barely feel im alive now. shiit! damn hurt!! he don't even inform me first & just let me see the truth. okay. if that wht u wishing for. i understood. no need explanation k? im tired of it.it can't cure my sickness anyway. it's me who always making plenty of reason to take u back again:) wish u guys happy:)

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

haishh. too much things happened to me made me learn to let evrything just be in it's way.. no hard feelings appear. i've forgot how to feel =0 i even don't care about him. y? b'cause he nver try to change no matter how hard i try to help him. haiyo.. nvm,just be it. benjamin issac sunam my future husband,u nvr try to feel wht i feel. u says u love me but u nver see how u always treated me. LIKE A MESS! i love you too darling,i hope u'll change for me. for our future together kay? muah! please,i hope ur mission end very soon!

Sunday, 12 February 2012

tQ so much Jessice Grace:) althought u dnt know the real story,but u gve me advises. actually i really dnt knw should i try it or not? cause the real story isn't like tht.i want to let u know about it but i can't :( tht's y i think thres no one i could share with. ure a very caring friend & i know it. althought i've plenty of bad thoughts towards u before. im so sowre about the past. im still feeling guilty with u. huhu jess,i hope the solution re as simple as u thought. but it ain't it tht way. but u give me inspiration which i should find some solution & not just turning away like tht. thanks very much sis,lov u :)

i realize i've been more evil now.i shouldn't said tht. but i just hated when it happened to me so sudden. hey grl,i hope u know wht's ur uncle up to. if anything ever happen to ben. i'll find u for explanation.& sowre about how i talk about ur father. he's a good man & i shouln't say tht. hey uncle in the heaven near to God now,i know u can hear me.forgive my rudeness but i hope u understand how i felt.i know i shouldn't say so but please bless ben,he's innocent tht hve to work over crime in his young ages.tht's all wht i hope frm u.u can curse me frm up thre but all i wanted is a solution. i hope evrything end so soon.i can't hold it now already.

hey,what's up with the mission tht u up to? protecting me? the reason u gave me? i told u so i don't care if i die now if u want to know. okay,u insisted to protect her so y don't u just go for it?! go to protect her for the rest of ur life! she's the innocent & i understood im not. y would u want to protect me? my safe is most important & u asking me to remember u when u die? hey hey hey. ure selfish enough. u thought u gnna be my hero by doing it? no no no. ure just a total coward. i don't care how dangerous is the criminal man tht ure catching now.stupid.i know those in ppd must be laughing seeing me writing thse. but i don't care. ure too stupid but u don't know it.& now u want to protect ur innocent gf that is his niece. hey,y don't u just let him killed his own niece? man like him would regret? haha.just let her meet her father in the heaven if that case.shiit.

here i go again. alone. whre is he? idkw.i never know.he promised to accompany me hre but he's disappearing again.haha,he told me he hve a friendly basketball match at smt. so? hve he forgot about me hre? when we promised someone,it is very important for us to keep it.but hve he ever realize he had broke almost thousands of my promises? ohh yeah,y he care isn't it? now he hve a new one so im not important anymore.mayb a burden for him.it was a very stressfull moment just now bfore i reach hre. i've cried loudly like im going to dead.i can't even feel myself. haha.im going crazy if u keep doing thse.mayb we should not be together anyway.

Thursday, 9 February 2012

i waited evry night for ur calls & message.if i don't started to call u,u won't care about me. i understood,it is more easier to treat her than me. im just a total loser.see,i forgot to tell u to reload me. now im out of credit. but it's gonna be fine isn't it? u won't be missing me when thre's a pretty grl with u. when i tried to ignore u,u'll totally mad with me. so what do you want frm me? it's easy to ignore me than seeing me ignoring u? please lahh. not all attention re urs. please think about how i feel(but u nver did).

u used ur mum as ur excuse to avoid me & meet her? alalah. if u just need a short time to take some thing from her,y it's hard for u to meet me after that? ohh i know. i would apparently wasting ur time isn't it? ur time is too expensive for me. but when u asked me to do anything u wished for,thre is no doubt for u to use ur time for it. please don't treat me like a chick. i might be okay infront of u but it is not deeply in my heart. hve u ever think about how i feel ? im still wondering y u need me. just to prepare anything u want ? haishh.i also thinking how would anything tht u told me be the truth. it's like too fantasy.haha. but i always ignore how i feel believing u. hve u ever realise that ?!!!

Sunday, 5 February 2012

If you ever leave me baby,
Leave some morphine at my door
‘Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don’t have it anymore.

There’s no religion that could save me
No matter how long my knees are on the floor
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I’m makin’
Will keep you by my side
Will keep you from walkin’ out the door.

[Chorus]
Cause there’ll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There’ll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...

I’ll never be your mother’s favorite
Your daddy can’t even look me in the eye
Oooh if I was in their shoes, I’d be doing the same thing
Sayin there goes my little girl
Walkin’ with that troublesome guy

[Chorus]
Cause there’ll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There’ll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...

[Bridge]
Don’t just say, goodbye
Don’t just say, goodbye
I’ll pick up these broken pieces ’til I’m bleeding
If that’ll make it right

[Chorus]
Cause there’ll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There’ll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...

ure the sunshine in my heart. u've brought big changes in my life. no other guy had through evrything like we did. it would be hard to find someone like u. if i did,it won't be the same. y? b'cause he hasn't hve the sweetest memories like we've.if u walk away,it would rain eveyday in my heart. i won't believe tht it would happen to me.just like having trauma for my whole life.evrytime some other guy try to tackle me,the first thing tht comes in mind is about u,concerned tht u'll pissed off. althought u treated evry girl in the same way like u did tome(mayb just some of it re different), but i kept reminded myself thre won't be another one tht more special than me.but sometimes im puzzling,re u make fun of me? but i tried to think positively. i should be grateful for evrything tht God had gave to me. great family,good friends & pals,& him :) but if thre would be some changes in the future. i had prepared myself for it. b'cause it's all up to us to through evrything for the future.if we failed,then we had to receive the fact tht we 're not for each other. but mostly im counting on u boy :) please don't let me down,i've gave u too much hope than i've ever realize. i believe u more than anyone else. if u choose to leave me, the big injury in heart would nver cure. i can find another one, but i can't throw our memories tht easily.they couln't ever replace u. evrything would come back to me no matter how hard i refuse.

overall,
i love you deeply in heart which no one could ever dig it out. *muah*

u took almost all of my time with my bf.even with mt teammates.who'd u think u re? u already hve one at ur school,also one of ur bro's friend. u want to conquer all of ur bro's friend? treated them like fools? u think eveyone can be ur's? don't be silly. if not b'cause of some reason,i would find u for explanation. but unfortunately,i can't.nvm,i'll wait till it over. then i'll show u tht he chose me rather than u. but it's all up to him. if he won't,then let it be. for the remaining time,i'll use it wisely to show u tht ure nt even close to cmpare wit me girl.ure just as tiny as an microrganisms.ure almost not even exist infront of me.

pissed me off. sometime i thought im nothing for u. im concerned when u treated me like a fools. everything goes slow.u asked other's favour while im sitting thre beside u thinking tht i've nver heard u talk about it to me.then u offer me to do something tht i thought im ur servant.im not jealous but it seem like too different. we've been together for a very long time,i might used to be when u always treated me like tht.u said im ur wife but don't wife should be treated specially? i would like to tell u but i think better don'y change somthing tht belong to us. just dnt want u to feel uncomfortable wit me. mayb it's ur way to treat me.just be it:)