This week Sammy helps a worried parent

Monday, October 23, 2006

Written by Samartha Gamble

Dear Sammy

The hottest new pop culture topic is "young teen" sex. I am a parent of a beautiful 13-year-old girl. I am so worried that she will not have a healthy relationship with one male and any future of having a family, since the current trend of teenagers is to engage in these so-called "friends with benefits" relationships, where the "guys get the pleasure" without commitment and the girls are “willing” to give them that. After listening to your show on toxic people, I see most of her friends as toxic. Dear Sammy, what can I do to protect my daughter from this unhealthy path?

Worried Parent

Dear Worried Parent,

You have every right to be concerned, but I wouldn’t worry about the situation too much. Worrying forces us into a constant negative mindset and being concerned enables us to consider the problems, while looking for positive ways to deal with them and find productive answers. You are obviously a concerned and caring parent, who doesn’t need the additional stress that worrying brings. Instead you need to remain mentally healthy; use the energy of worrying to give your daughter the gift of awareness, so that she can focus on building her heart and her mind. Teach her first about respecting herself and her family, and then teach her of the psychological and emotional problems associated with early sexual activity. It may even be a good idea to tell your daughter about some of the pressures you may have faced when you were her age; if she sees that you are comfortable telling her your personal stories, then she may open up to you as well. The message you want to try to get across is the value of self-respect.
Keep in mind that self respect is essential for today’s teen in their fight against peer pressure.

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