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TRIBEWORK is about consuming the process of life, the journey, together.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

When Betrayal Is Bitter Satisfaction

With some sort of sadistic annoyance we take that chalice of pain, embodied by betrayal, and we turn it into a vengeful path toward action intended to teach lessons; the person bitterly satisfied in their betrayal is one not to cross. They wield a power of gross malevolence.

So much of love that started in the best vein ends in the vitriolic state; the rancorous partner, until this time pleasantly dormant, when wronged, becomes Mount Vesuvius.

When betrayal is bitter satisfaction, and we reside anywhere close, we could expect things to end shoddily.

Dealing With The Bitter Betrayed

There is much counsel for trepidation when dealing with a person that has the potential to become antagonistically bitter. And such trepidation should breed within that person the will and wisdom to pray for the constant counsel of the Holy Spirit.

This will be no easy period to get through. It may be marked with deferential levels of soul-aching anxiety and purposeless pain.

One thing we can disconnect, most of the time, is the sequence of activators that led to the feelings of betrayal; the bitter betrayed are, by their admission, more hurt than anyone, and more undeservedly hurt—disregarding what has actually occurred. Their record of wrongs toward other people is rendered null in comparison with what has been done to them. They do not see straight.

Seeing the situation from this vantage point allows us the cherished understanding: this period is to be endured patiently, without thought of winning, but thought is necessarily given to managing the risks implicit in dealing with the irrevocably hurt.

When It Is Us That Has Been Betrayed

Perhaps life as we know it has been shattered; the image held closely to our hearts has been, by somebody else, destroyed. There is no coming back, apparently.

There may be thought to the amount we’ve invested; what has been given to the relationship. Maybe the action of such a betrayal was totally unpredicted, sweepingly unjust, and so completely beyond the character of the betrayer we’ve lost all hope for trust. Our entire world has let us down.

Now it is worse; feelings of bitterness rise up from within and we have no way of stopping them. Any feelings of remorse are quickly replaced by thought for vengeance or ill-will toward their well-being.

This, as we might suppose now, is a mistake; a trick of pride against the formation of reality; it is quite completely a sinkhole syndrome. Whatever will occur we can know it will be bad if we don’t reconcile the bitterness that is contorting our very lives. We need perspective, and quickly.

The reliable people we trust will bring us to perspective if only we’ll listen. They will bring a moment’s sense to our chaotic minds and bleeding hearts.

***

Bitterness is the nasty stain that the spilling of betrayal leaves. There should be no satisfaction in betrayal, only pain. But with pain and its expression, and time and grace, bitterness can be relieved and restoration found. And life can start over.