Vanity Fair has published a sensational piece on Tom Cruise about his wife hunting; everyone’s been talking about it all week. According to US Weekly at no point in the article is Lohan’s name mentioned. And you know this - if it were mentioned, you would have already heard about it because no outlet could have resisted turning that into a headline. But here she is, pure Lohan styles, jamming her sh-t into a party that she wasn’t invited to.

I just want everyone & @TomCruise to know, that I have/had NO part in the VF story.. Nor has anyone in my life, personal and work related.

Thanks, asshole. Since it doesn’t involve speeding cokeheads down the Pacific Coast Highway or jewellery that’s gone missing or volunteer truancy at women’s shelters, we actually didn’t suspect you this time. But, you know, the Toronto and Venice Film Festivals are happening and the MTV VMAs and New York Fashion Week and many, many other high profile opportunities for A list celebrities, and, well, your name isn’t on the list anywhere so, I guess, this is what you do when you’re Lindsay Lohan, a f-cking loser.