January 12, 2005 (idea)

When I would sit on a bench with my friends and we would rate the guys that would go by I would never stop to think " geesh, he is a 10, I wonder if he is of my same religon. My religon was always a big part of my life and I had never dated a person that wasn't also a Mormon. When I met Eric, who is agnostic.

In my little town that I live in, in Utahyou are supposed to be the good little girl who marrys the good little boy of the same faith and I understand why it is that way. I have seen the t.v. programs" Keeping the Faith"and read books like Are you there God? It's me Margaret and they have helped me to understand part of the reason for parents wanting you to date someone of your own faith, but you can't help who you fall in love with.

So here I am, a Christian girl in love someone who isn't. So I have been sitting here thinking, Christanity teaches to love everyone and to have a Christ-like love for people and so that means to me that I can love anyone that I want to but I wish that people could see that I am happy and not pretend that since I am dating a boy of a different faith that I am miserable. I am not deaf nor am I stupid. I hear it when people ask how I am doing and the whispered response is " She is struggling". I am not struggling at all. I am a healthy person who is actually quite happy with how the things in my life are.

I actually feel slightly drawn away from chrisianity because since I have started dating Eric, I seen some of the most unchrist like things that I have ever seen before in my life. People judging Eric because he isn't Christian and assuming I am going to Hell because I love him so much.

What is love? if it isn't a unconditonal overlook of things that are unlike ourselves? I don't mean an overlook of drugs or abuse but I think it is the right thing to do to not judge someone because of their religious offliations as long as they are not apart of a scary cult but I think that if someone makes you happy and you believe that they are the one then why would any God including the Christian God want to torture a human being so much as to help someone find the perfect person for them and then rip them away because of his different religon? I can't ever believe that any God could hate a human being that much because even the thought of living without the person you love is torture within itself.

I am not sure what to believe anymore. I do know one thing, I can't believe that God would want to hate someone because of their difference of religon and the same goes for the color of skin, intelligence level or any other differnces you can come up with. God is not prejudice, he loves everyone of every belief and so do I, just one certain boy more than the rest!