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Wednesday, 29 August 2007

a deserved reminder/punishment

I have learnt an important lesson today, it is easy to forget sometimes that i am a slave to Him and even though i am allowed to express my opinion it is not a right and should He choose to He could take that from me. I questioned His judgement and was initially when we spoke on the phone adamant i was in the right and was not going to back down and indeed resented being told different, on reflection after we had spoken i realised how wrong i was and that i had crossed a line and felt that i needed punishment as well as a reminder of what i am.

So hence as i am writing this im not at all comfortable, i have nettles in my bra and knickers as well as a butt plug inserted, my nipples are not that bad they are stinging yes but my pussy is burning and i think that having to cum earlier has intensified the burning. As for the plug it is more uncomfortable as i sit as it is pushed deeper and im not a fan of butt blugs at all, but i will admit that i think i am ready to have a larger one inserted as the one i have is not as uncomfortable as i used to find it.

I take comfort in the fact that my physical discomfort is deserved, it is a reminder of what i am and therefore i would endure it for as long as He specified, emotionally i need it to feel better to pay penance for my behaviour, to put things right again. I think its harder to endure when its a punishment as mentally i beat myself up for behaving the way i do, whereas when its simply for His pleasure as much as the effects are the same i find it easier to deal with as i would be behaving as i should ie. putting His needs and desires before mine, whereas now im suffering because i dissapointed Him and behaved inappropriatley.