March, 2012

Episode four opens with Team Cruz’ Myles Jury and Team Faber’s Al Iaqunita walking into the training center for their fight, set to take place in 42. Cruz chose this matchup, putting Jury, who he had trained with in San Diego, against Faber’s first pick, Al Iaqunita.

Cruz looks to be using a strategy of trying to take out some of Faber’s toughest guys early in the competition.

“There’s a strategy to everything that I’m doing,” he says. “I want to go straight for the jugular on these guys, take out every guy that could give them hope.”

That he says it in his typical little boy voice makes Cruz’ ruthlessness even more eerie.

Faber , for his part, seems to like the match up as well. “Thank you! Yes,” he says of Cruz’ matchup.

We’ve discussed this season’s new format of live fights and related changes, but the season’s new theme music might be the best change of all. Invoking a lil Stevie Wonder and Red Hot Chili Peppers with their rendition of “Higher Ground,” is a step up from typical MMA-related music and also hits the right thematic note for a bunch of fighters trying to reach the next level.

As dangerous as Cleveland can be as a city, it has struggled to field decent sports teams and produce champions (not to mention keeping them). Last night at Bellator 63, which gave viewers the Quarterfinal round of this season’s welterweight tournament, “The Cleveland Assassin” Chris Lozano looked to break the cycle and make a run at Bellator’s welterweight title. Ifyou’vebeenpayinganyattention, you already know what to expect.

Perhaps no one in MMA other than Chael Sonnen embraces his alter-ego more than Lozano’s opponent, “Psycho” Karl Amoussou, who had Lozano uncharacteristically angered with his psycho routine before the fight. While that didn’t translate to either man swinging for the fences at the bell, it did lead to an early finish for the French judoka. After Amoussou cut Lozano with a head kick, “The Cleveland Assassin” took Amoussou down and landed in his guard, which would be Lozano’s only offense for the fight. From there, Amoussou swept Lozano, mounted him and took his back to sink in the rear-naked choke. Karl Amoussou improves to 14-4-2 in his welterweight debut.

The fight doesn’t show too much damage. That’s waiting for you after the jump. (Video: Our boy Zombie Prophet)

While Zuffa takes a load off, smaller organizations world ’round are stepping out from big brother’s shadow. In addition to last night’s stateside action, One FC 3 “War of the Lions” brought us an evening of duels straight out of Singapore. Originally slated to take on Renato Babalu, Melvin Manhoef didn’t let a change of opponents deter his game plan: maim everything in sight. Though he only threw down with Deep Light Heavyweight Champion Yoshiyuki Nakanishi for two minutes, he managed to deliver an impressive amount of damage to both of their legs before his gaping shin injury resulted in the bout being ruled a no-contest.

A bevy of unappetizing pictures and a slow-mo video of the injury await you after the jump.

We may be in the midst of a Zuffa drought, but that doesn’t mean we must thirst for knockouts. Last night Resurrection Fighting Alliance hooked up with Sherdog to bring you a live stream of their second card, which featured a pair of heavy hitters and a pioneer of the sport. Jens Pulver also returned to action for the promotion, though thankfully it was in the announcer’s booth this time.

The evening’s main event promised brain damage, and it lived up to our expectations. Houston Alexander displayed the one-strike power that launched his UFC-career, stammering Gilbert Yvel with an overhand right before knocking him down with a leg kick all in the opening thirty seconds of the bout. Yvel looked reserved in his second bout as a light-heavyweight, though against a brawler like Alexander pretty much everyone looks passive. “The Hurricane” started to open up in the latter half of the first round, and with just over a minute remaining on the clock he connected with a left hook that rocked Alexander followed by a big right hand that dropped him face first to the canvas–time to update our planking homage. That’s two straight wins for the recently re-invented 205′er and the second consecutive knockout loss for “The Assassin”.

Join us after the jump for videos and recaps of the Maurice Smith-Jorge Cordoba and Tara LaRosa-Kelly Warren bouts.

As with anything featuring Kimbo Slice nowadays, the video of his “suspicious” fourth round KO of Brian Green last weekend has blown up thanks to a mix of controversy and street certified swagger (but mainly controversy), receiving over one million hits in just a few days (that’s good, right?). As many of you noticed when we originally reported on the fight, Slice’s last second knockout seemed a little too convenient to stomach. The punch didn’t seem to have much behind it, and Green’s reaction seemed like it was a poor bit of acting. Like Nicolas Cage in The Wicker Man remake poor.

When it comes down to it, no one but those involved can truly know whether the fight was fixed or not, but we all know the Internet has never needed a shred of evidence to start lobbing accusations at a public figure. For nearly five days, Green has had to endure the relentless mockery of keyboard warriors nationwide, and anyone from Dana White to well, myself, can attest to the lengths that a pissed off troll with a computer in his hands will go.

Brian Green, however, has enough of this shit. According to him, everyone just needs to step the hell back, because he ain’t no flopper. Matter of fact, Green says, if everyone wants validation, a rematch will certainly satisfy the naysayers.

We could be wrong, but it appears that Green, fueled by his own mix of disdain and Jagermeister, typed the following message for the entire world (ie. Facebook) to see at some point Wednesday night:

On the heels of two straight submission via rear-naked choke losses courtesy of Joe Lauzon and Jim Miller, former “top contender” Melvin Guillard’s stock is probably at an all time low. The UFC, likely recognizing Melvin’s need to step up his ground game or GTFO, are not cutting him any slack, as they have paired him against 3rd degree (uh-oh) BJJ black belt (not good) under Royler Gracie (dear God) Fabricio Camoes. The worst part: Camoes is coming off a submission by rear-naked choke victory at UFC on FX: Guillard vs. Miller.

Matter of fact, it looks to us like the UFC is trying to punish each and every member of The Blackzilians for Anthony Johnson’s colossal mistake. Have the Zuffa attorneys not informed DW and Joe Silva that judging a certain group of people based on one isolated incident is considered profiling, and could lead to a huge backlash from said group? If we could think of any examples from American history, say from around the 1960′s, that could possibly help prove this point, we would. Unfortunately, no such example exists. Perhaps we’re just lucky.

“Dan Henderson will get the winner of that fight or the winner of the Anderson Silva [vs. Chael Sonnen] fight. Dan Henderson just wants a title shot. There’s been a lot of talk about the stuff that I said. Here’s the thing: I offered Dan Henderson two fights. Dan Henderson wants this fight. Normally I don’t do that. Guys don’t sit around and pick their fights. There’s been very specific cases where that’s happened and it’s guys who have earned it or deserve it, and Dan Henderson is one of those guys. Listen, if Dan Henderson, Henderson has been around forever. He’s forty-something years old, he’s been knocking guys out left and right. If he wants to sit around and wait for this title shot, he can do it.”

(This will teach that animal shelter to let Rousimar Palhares adopt one of their strays.)

Remember the video of that horrifying leg injury we posted earlier this month? Meet the complete opposite of that. In fact, this injury maiming is easily more traumatizing, because the poor bastard, who we will now refer to as…Timmy, had his leg bent in the opposite direction of that other chap.

Ninety degrees in the opposite direction.

You see, Timmy partook in a wrestling tournament a few days ago, and mere seconds into the match, his opponent shot in for a double leg, utterly destroying Tim’s leg in the process. We were told that Timmy’s cries of pain, like the mighty conch that signals the KVWN-TV Channel 4 Evening News team, resonated all the way Williamsburg, Virginia, where Lawrence Taylor, as if under some form of mind control, immediately stood up and applauded in the dirty, empty alleyway he had fallen asleep in.

Check out the video after the jump. Just have your therapist on hold while you do so.

“Captain Butt Chin” by Bobby [who's misidentified in the vid, but whatevs]vs.“Urologist Faber” by Toby N.

As you’ll see in the video, both Stephan and Urijah fail to recognize Nazi pedophile Brandon Saling on the Captain Butt Chin shirt. We’re not sure if that affected Bobby’s chances, but it’s worth mentioning. Still, I think they made the right choice, simply based on Toby’s chin-placement.

The competition is only going to get tougher next week as we enter the quarterfinals. Catch up on our previous t-shirt tournament videos here, follow Punch Buddies on Twitter and Facebook, and let us know who you think is going all the way!