Mums today: the global story

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What are the best things about being a mum today? And the worst? What keeps you awake at night or makes you wince with guilt? How has the current economic crisis hit mums around the world? And, on a lighter note, which celebrity mums rock?

We wanted to find out so we asked the experts – you! In our biggest-ever survey we heard from over 21,000 mums in 10 countries. And this is what you had to say…

Dads making a difference

In nine out of 10 BabyCentre countries around the world, mums think that parenting has got easier since their mothers' and grandmothers' day. Though it's not difficult to imagine how our grandmothers struggled without all the mod cons we take for granted today, what's changed more recently?

In a word, dads! From Austria to Australia, the US to the UK, mums believe that fathers getting involved in childcare is the main improvement in being a mother today. And you rated your menfolk’s contribution ahead of electronic appliances, access to better information and a wider range of activities.

"Mums are really rejoicing in the increased input that their partners are having with their children,” says Danielle Townsend, editor of BabyCenter Australia. “In Australia, dads today are obviously more involved in their children’s lives. More men attend their children’s births than ever before and most women expect their partners to contribute."

But before we declare the global battle of the sexes won, she adds a word of caution. "Dads may be more involved but women are still doing the bulk of the childcare. So we've got a way to go."

In Germany, the hands-on dad has become the norm. "A father who won’t change nappies is seen as quite unusual," says Cordula Zastera, editor of BabyCentre Germany.

In some parts of the world, there are economic reasons why fatherhood is changing. "The reality of today is that most Hispanic mums have to work. This has forced more dads to participate in childcare and household chores," says Isidra Mencos, editor of the US Hispanic site, BabyCenter Espanol.

Hispanic dads are showing their softer side, too. "They are much more emotionally and physically involved with their babies than they used to be,” says Mencos. “Many celebrity Hispanic dads make a point of saying that they change nappies, for instance. It’s become almost ‘fashionable’. Dads today show their love openly, instead of being the reserved, distant authority figures of times past."

Only in China is the picture very different. Here the role of dads was the least popular answer in our poll of how things have changed in the last generation.

"Traditionally, we don't really think that men are suited to childcare," says Doris Zhang, editor of BabyCenter China. "Besides, in China it’s assumed that grandparents will take care of the grandchildren, as most families have only one grandchild. So men aren’t really needed when it comes to childcare. Instead, money worries mean that they are expected to work even harder to earn more after they have a baby."

One of the biggest changes to child-rearing in China, according to mums, is having access to information from a range of reputable sources. Other changes include having more activity options, such as playgrounds and music classes, and increased openness to different parenting styles.

And which was the country that didn't believe parenting has got easier? It was the US, where mums thought their role had got somewhat harder (42 per cent) or much harder (11 per cent).

Baby boom and bust

It’s not only in China where economic pressures are weighing heavily on the minds of parents. Money, or lack of it, tops the worry list for many mums around the world. In fact, offered the chance to have more of just one thing, mums in the UK, China, Australia, Canada and Germany all chose money. And cash triumphed over time, energy, sleep, love and beauty.

"Mums believe having more money means having more choices," says Ann Elisabeth Samson, editor of BabyCenter Canada. "Thirty-six per cent of mums said they would stay at home if they could afford to. Having more money would give them the power to make that change."

When we asked mums around the world what the worst thing is about being a mum today, "increased money worries" was the top answer in China (63 per cent) and Australia (59 per cent). It also scored highly in the UK (44 per cent). In the US, money worries came out in a different form. "Trying to afford a good education for my kids" was mentioned by 44 per cent of mums as the worst thing about being a mother.

Money worries can affect family life in many ways. In the UK, Germany and China, money is the number-one factor in determining whether or not a couple will have another child. In China, there’s a clear link between the need for money and the desire for a second child. Couples who break the one-child policy face heavy fines.

But what about the UK? "I was surprised to see money having such a powerful effect on families in the UK," says Jenny Leach, editor of BabyCentre UK. "I think it shows just how financially stretched families are. If both parents are working and there's still not enough to make ends meet then having another baby becomes an unaffordable luxury."

Mummy guilt

Sometimes it feels like guilt comes with the job description when you’re a mum. Around the world mums are beating themselves up about a whole range of issues. In China, Australia and Canada mums feel terrible about not stimulating their children's development enough.

"There’s a lot of pressure to prove that you’re fully engaged with your child,” says Canadian editor Ann Elisabeth Samson. “There’s a feeling you should be going to music and gym classes and doing other things to boost your child's development. In Canada, many mums have a year of maternity leave. I think they feel that they have to have achieved something in that time."

In other countries, different concerns come to the fore. Indian mums feel bad about not spending enough time with their children. American mums fret about letting their children watch too much TV. British mums worry about shouting at their children and not breastfeeding for long enough. And as for German mums, not being able to afford enough for their children is the prime cause of a mummy guilt trip.

Number-one celebrity mum

We asked BabyCentre mums around the world which celebrity best represents the 21st-century mum. There was a definite pattern to their replies. Right around the world BabyCentre mums voted for real mums over celebrities. "I find reading about celebrity mums interesting but I don't seek it out," was the most common response.

When pushed, BabyCentre mums are most impressed by women who approach motherhood in their own individual way. Perhaps it's not surprising, then, that actress and mum-of-six Angelina Jolie’s name kept cropping up. She made it into the top three in countries throughout the world, including China, Germany, Canada and across Latin America.

"I think Latin American mums probably appreciate the fact that she has a big family that includes adopted kids," says Isidra Mencos. "She does a lot of non-profit work, too. And it doesn't hurt that she and Brad Pitt make a gorgeous couple!"

In India, BabyCentre mums placed former Miss Universe and Bollywood star Sushmita Sen in the top celebrity mum spot. She raised eyebrows in her home country when she adopted a baby girl, Renee, as a single mother.

Australian mums chose Cate Blanchett. "Of course, she's a hugely successful actress," says Danielle Townsend. “But I think she came top because of her down-to-earth parenting style and her interest in environmental issues."

Wide awake and worrying

All parents worry, but what they worry about depends on where in the world they live. "My child's health" is at the top of the list in Germany. In the US, India and China, it’s "Making sure my child gets the education and opportunities to meet his or her potential". And in the UK and Canada, mums lose sleep over the "fear that someone will hurt or attack my child".

Many of these concerns are groundless. Serious childhood illness or attacks on children are extremely rare. But perhaps worrying about your children is hard-wired into the parental brain.

Above all else, our global survey shows that parents care passionately about their children's lives now and in the future. So next time you’re fretting, perhaps the fact that mums the world over are worrying about the same things will offer a little comfort.

Last reviewed: February 2014

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