Larry Cohen sits in an odd place in cinema. He’s a bit like Roger Corman, a guy who churns out better than average B-Movie fare that sometimes rises above its origins. Unlike Corman he’s not responsible for a generation of film-makers. But he did write Phone Booth which was a massive hit for Joel Schumacher. He also gave us the excellent Q: The Winged Serpent in which Shaft and the guy from Kung-Fu battle an ancient Aztec bird-god, and The Stuff, in which killer yogurt tries to take over the world. It’s a satire. I think.

Anyway some crazy old men find white goo bubbling up out of the earth and instead of running away they taste it. Turns out it’s addictive, low in calories and makes a hell of a profit. Soon all of America is chowing down on The Stuff, all except young Jason and the admirably laconic Michael Moriarty. Soon The Stuff is taking over Jason’s family in a creepy body-snatchers sort of a way. It seems to rot you from the inside, leaving a breakable shell which leaks Stuff. A Paramilitary group turn up to save the day. It’s all quite mad, but fun in an undemanding sort of a way. Nothing quite lives up to the poster though.

I think it’s best that I level with you. This film is terrible. I mean really shocking. It’s edited very badly, performances range from the wildly overacted to the so underplayed you can hardly tell the character exists. The plot makes some sense in the end but proceeds in such a ludicrous manner than it feels like an afterthought. In short I was thoroughly entertained.

In a distant sci-fi fantasy world there is a man called the Master. He’s mystical (you can tell because his voice is deep and booming and his face is obscured by a special effect). He likes to play crappy sci-fi chess with a crone (who has a voice-over at the beginning but disappears after the first scene). Anyway a ship has gone missing and the Master wants some people to go and investigate. To do this he chooses the biggest bunch of idiots from across the galaxy, puts them on a ship piloted by a nervous wreck, and fails to tell them what it’s all about. After some dodgy model work (by James Cameron no less!) they arrive at the planet to investigate. Low and behold they are slowly picked off one by one. But wait – what’s attacking them is their own id! This is surely what justifies the stupefying moment when a woman is raped to death by a giant worm. Really. Apparently Roger Corman, the producer, promised some nudity in the film. And that’s what they came up with. Anyway other than this poor woman being bounced upon by a giant, and rather sticky, piece of latex a variety of bizarre deaths ensue until only one crew member is left. Turns out it’s all a big cosmic game so the Master can choose his successor. It then ends. However if you want to watch a movie where Joanie from Happy Days has her face crushed to bits and Robert Englund looks bizarrely like Kenny Everett then this is for you. There are however some nice mattes. I like mattes. And look at the poster – it’s awesome. Nothing like the film, but awesome none the less.