Are you interested in using my jokes in your monologues? I am available to write jokes for anybody who needs a monologue joke or two. If you need me, contact me by my email, which is alexschubs@gmail.com. Serious inquiries only! Thank you for reading my blog, and happy laughing!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

"Relaxed And Smart"

Oscar’s co-host actress Anne Hathaway described her evening as “an amazing experience”. Viewers of the Oscars will certainly beg to differ.

Google has confirmed they’ve had experienced missing emails from some Gmail accounts. And at least three of them didn't say that we had a hard time getting erections.

Entertainment Weekly said Anne Hathaway and James Franco were "marvelous" calling them "funny, poised, relaxed, and smart." Five things people have never called me.

Charlie Sheen, who is the highest paid actor in television, wants a raise. Well who could blame him?

Former coach Bobby Knight will be inducted into the National Collegiate Basketball Hall of Fame. Someone better check out that speech of his.

Baron Davis will wear number 85 on his jersey with the Cleveland Cavaliers. He better not change his name to Ochocinco.

Bernard Madoff says the government’s financial reform is a joke and that the government is just a Ponzi scheme. And then he said, "But enough about my business strategy".

Charlie Sheen’s publicity agent has resigned. His reason for quitting: his workload was too much.

A sociologist says that hookers are going to Facebook to find clients since the crackdown on Craigslist. When speaking of their methodology, he said, "It's complicated".

An Alabama man accidentally shot himself, and then his wife was shot by their small child who picked up the gun. And they were still Alabama's "Family of the Year".

Charlie Sheen says he is tired of pretending he isn’t a rock star from Mars. Maybe it was a bad idea for his publicist to resign.