Tuesday, June 30, 2009

"Genius is not a generous thingIn return it charges more interest than any amount of royalties can cover"-Jim Carroll

Remember when you were a kid? When this was all for fun? Doing that dance singing that song, it brought so much joy to so many people. To see a kid like that without a care in the world, saying those words that everyone knew deep down in their heart to be true, but when you get to that certain age with the kids and the mortgage and the wife. The truth of those songs gets crowded out. But you, you are able to live those songs forever.

And the songs and the dance, they look so easy, so effortless. One foot in front of the other. Over and over again, every movement analyzed and rehearsed. 10, 12, 14 hours. Focused, precise. One foot in front of the other is all that matters, over and over again. Not just better than anyone else can do it. Better than anyone else could imagine doing it. Everything you have, everything that most hold dear is traded.

Every move, timed to perfection, every twitch of every muscle is watched, examined, obsessed by millions of people. But it's so simple, don't they know anyone could do this dance, if they take the time. Right?

But it gets you there, to the top. The very top. But what you find out is it's lonely up there. You're no longer a person, but an opportunity. A revenue stream. They're not 'friends' anymore, they're 'partners' with opportunities. Just cut them in for a little bit, they'll return more, maybe do lunch. But it's all there. Anything you ever wanted and more. And there was so much more.

And they keep you there. Slow getting up in the morning, there's something for that, trouble sleeping, there's something for that. Need help getting through the show...maybe THIS doctor can help you with that. Because good doesn't make this much money. Great doesn't make this much money, But being the best, the best ever........

But then it stops, and it has to stop. Because this game is not sane. But, you can't be insane, can you? Nobody ever said we went too far, nobody said this was too much. Not while it was happening, anyways.

But once the show stops, the money stops. The phone calls taper off. And maybe, maybe the rehearsals, the training was a bit much. It's nice to spend some time with the family, but they don't understand. Maybe go on vacation, take a break. But the eyes, the looks. Hey, it's him, who did that thing, but now doesn't....what does he do?.......what did?

Now there's new guys, with new songs and new dances. A new generation. Their names in the headlines. And they're good, but not THAT good. Do people even remember what good is? Do they know what it takes to be good? Don't they remember what I did? Do they even remember who I was?

Do they know what you have to give? Your health. Your family. Your life. They aren't giving that.

I know, I'll get the coach back. Get the Doctors back. The sponsors. The money makers, the money takers. The friends start calling again, ONE MORE TOUR!

Maybe, maybe I could do it again. Just one more time. Make damn well sure, that everyone knows just how good I was.