15 Now all the tax collectors and the sinners were coming near Him to listen to Him.2 Both the Pharisees and the scribes began to grumble, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.”

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In response to crowds coming to hear Jesus, the (narcissistic) Pharisees and scribes did not publicly reveal their jealously, but rather grumbled among themselves with a haughty and holier-than-thou attitude about His “receiving sinners”.

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Rather than directly rebuke them for their attitude, Jesus responded by telling them three parables. Jesus’ main point in each of the parables was God’s loving grace in seeking those who are “lost”, and joy when they return to Him. This was in obvious contrast with the Pharisees who did not care about the people to whom Jesus was ministering, but only about the fact that they were not the center of attention.

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In Jesus’ third story of the “prodigal son” [read the entire parable here], He also used the narcissistic older brother’s response as a mirror to point out to the narcissistic Pharisees their prideful, self-centered obstructionism (Luke 11:52), and lack of mercy. Jesus was not defensive at the Pharisees’ grumbling, but took the path of grace by gently pointing out their error via through this story – if they were willing to listen.

There is much to learn from how Jesus dealt with the narcissists of His day, the Pharisees (see here and here on how we know the Pharisees were narcissists/scoffers filled with insolent pride). It is instructive as to what He did and said in His dealings with them, but also what did not do, and did not say. It is very interesting that in some cases, rather than trying to defend against the narcissists’ actions, He put His focus on ministering to those whom the narcissists “hurt”. Here are a couple of examples: . Continue reading →

How Jesus handled His encounters with the narcissistic* Pharisees are very instructive. The following encounter is a case in point.

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Matthew 15

15 Then some Pharisees and scribes* came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said,2 “Why do Your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat bread.”3 And He answered and said to them, “Why do you yourselves transgress the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?4 For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother is tobe put to death.’5 But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, “Whatever I have that would help you has been given to God,”6 he is not to honor his father or his mother.’ And by this you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition.7 You hypocrites, rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you:

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8 ‘This people honors Me with their lips,But their heart is far away from Me.9 ‘But in vain do they worship Me,Teaching asdoctrines the precepts of men.’”

25 And a lawyer stood up and put Him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”26 And He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How does it read to you?”27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.”28 And He said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this and you will live.”

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As was made clear by his answer, the lawyer already knew the Biblical answer to his question, implying that his question was not a sincere inquiry. Luke called it a “test” – the lawyer was simply asking the question to see what kind of response he would get, with the chance perhaps that Jesus would say something that the lawyer could use against him – or possibly to show that he was somehow better than Jesus. This is a typical narcissist tactic. Continue reading →

While Jesus often taught about how to respond to life situations from a “Heavenly perspective”, He also frequently demonstrated it. One example that is relevant to our study on how to deal with narcissists is when Jesus was invited to dinner by the Pharisee, Simon.

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Luke 7:36-50

36 Now one of the Pharisees was requesting Him to dine with him, and He entered the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table.37 And there was a woman in the city who was a sinner; and when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster vial of perfume,38 and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet and anointing them with the perfume.

39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort of person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner.”