All observations made at bigfuck.blogspot.com are entirely fictional. Some characters may be real, but you can assume they are fictional as well. The views expressed here do not reflect the opinions of the author, or anyone at all. If you are upset by anything you read here, please do not sue us. Instead, you can send email, and we can go Geylang Lorong 1 and settle (parangs optional).

Sunday, April 24, 2005

You know something's wrong when I type more than one serious entry a week. Seriously, what is wrong with me?

When I was 13 or 14, I'd spend sundays with my friends from church, most of whom were older than me; all the kids my age had to go home, and I'd be loitering around town with people in their late teens, wandering the streets of Orchard.

Anyway, being the older people that they were, some of my friends had cars. One day, I was trying to irritate one of my friends into driving his car from point A to point B (I was 13, ok? Try and convince me that YOU weren't irritating at 13) and he replied, 'aiyah, here are my keys, you go drive, lah!'

Now, at this point, I had two options - I could either back down and walk (the sensible option) or I could actually take his keys, go off and look for his car (note that I didn't even know where his car was parked) and, presumably, try to drive it somewhere. This would most definitely be the stupid, dumb-ass, makes no sense, what-the-hell were you thinking option.

Two hours later, I found myself wondering what the hell I was thinking. Why the hell couldn't I back down and say, 'ok, fine, I lose,' and get on with it? The problem is, more often than not, I really don't know when to back down, don't know when to say I'm sorry, and don't know when to say enough's enough.

Today I was woken up by a phone call from a concerned friend about an entry that he felt could trigger a Chengzhan-esque wave of shit directed against your humble electronic correspondent. He even wrote a blog entry about it, in which he figures I have 3 days to act before things go to hell. I suppose the gist of his message is that it isn't worth it. In a way, he's right - if the shit really hits the fan, it won't be worth it - it's not worth having your family shamed, having your blog live in infamy, possibly being forced to shut down, all of that - that would royally suck.

Somehow, though, there's a big part of me that just doesn't want to take the entry down.

Maybe it's because I'm the sort of guy who hates being told off, maybe it's hubris, or maybe it's just my firm belief in the fact that things like this shouldn't matter. It's really distressing that people should care when you draw a moustache on a picture. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't hurt anyone. It doesn't say anything - or maybe it does, maybe it just questions what exactly we hold sacred, what we hold inviolable, and questions, just for a second, whether these things are worth keeping sacred, whether any many can be held in such high regard that even his image should be revered.

You see, there's a reason why I don't draw moustaches on Jesus. Any politician, though, no matter how wonderful he is, is still just a man. I can't help feeling that, if I take down my entry, I'm tacitly admitting that he's more than he is, that the man is sacred and inviolate. While I respect all that he's done for my country, and think he's truly a pretty formidable man, I don't think he's a demi-god. I think he's a man who should be able to tell that, in the end, some jokes are, in the end, harmless, regardless of whether or not they are funny.

If you guys think otherwise, and if anyone is really deeply offended, email me, and I figure I'll reconsider taking down the post. For now, though, here's my graphic response:

I found this picture when I was searching google for 'tan ah beng'; what a cute baby!

I wonder if people will think I hate babies if I draw a moustache on this baby.

Anyone who knows me will tell you I love Arsenal, and I think Mssr. Wenger is awesome:

Nobody told me he was actually a pirate!

Here's Mr. Mao:

Why does Mao rhyme with cow? It's a sign!

I have absolutely nothing against Tony Blair:

But his drag queen tendencies alarm me:

So, in conclusion, I'm sorry, everyone:

...sorry I forgot to shave.

Oh yes, sorry for not telling you that I am an evil lizard demon from hell, too. I forget to mention that from time to time.

Today's Blog Babe: Asking for the Sky; I'd actually been reading her blog for a while (i.e. ever since she linked me), but it took an extra recommendation from suspicious bastard before I realized she was linkworthy. Ok, I'm out.

People need to get a sense of humor man! dude, don't you dare freaking pull down that uncle lee pic post. if you do you little chicken shit, I will disown you and not read you anymore. People here seriously need to lighten up, so what if we are infentile? crap Monty Phyton can be considered infentile, but they are some of the most intelligent guys out there.

Being serious is easy, being serious AND funny at the same times is what is difficult.

Well, the more successful a person peceives himself, the more likely that he's going to become a tightass. That's probably the reason why most of us are a bit uneasy about seeing him altered on this site, and not because we actually think that he's on par with Jesus. Tightasses are dangerous. Oh, and you probably won't like my sister. She's attached, and besides, she's a b*tch sometimes. Though she's recently lent me a digital camera, so I shouldn't really say that....

christina: i wouldn't say i can challenge warhol, but hey, thanks for the compliment.

starry: haha, the problem is that most people with half a brain somehow still manage to navigate the interweb. what to do?

sugarrush: yeah lor. i like the baby pic too. i think it's funny.

poisonlady: good job doing what? typing html code? picking the colours for my background, or drawing pictures? ah well, thanks anyway. I live for the approval of strangers.

claris: why don't you send me pictures of yourself first and see how i feel? more scandalous pictures will elicit better feeling. NOT THAT I AM FLIRTING. for all flirting, please refer to my honorary hot babes manager, makanguru.

sb: you have a pretty good point, it's true, but i guess i have to stay true to my principles. what principles, you might ask? this is my point exactly. as for your sister, aiyah, at least send pictures, mah!

gabrielle: haha, try primary school. which is the point. it's damn fun to draw funny faces, just because, what the hell, why not?

Man, I can't believe you did that shit to my picture. I'm going to sue your fucking ass off. Because that's what I do, I read blogs all day long, looking for people who deface my pictures or take my name in vain, and use all my considerable influence to put them in jail. So what if they are just undergraduates playing childish pranks who really respect me despite making fun of my pictures and who openly say they respect me? I just can't get past the fact that they drew moustaches on my picture because I am just that petty, so sue me (heheh, just a little joke, your lawyers ain't shit). So, Mr. Big Fuck, prepare to get your ass fucked big time in the big house, asshole.

aheruihurieahrueri J, you damn funny la! Poor baby man...... You make the baby look from damn cute to damn ugly.LoL, is that a picture of Queen of somewhere in UK, topless? with titties censored??IRENE

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