Douchebaggery overload, conceited at a supreme level. A natural-born show-off with dangerous narcissistic and condescending tendencies. His mouth is an assault rifle filled with self-praises as ammunition. He's the best man alive in his own book. An annoying raconteur who loves spreading the good news about why his life is so great that you owe it to yourself to hear it and pass his stories of success down to your grandchildren. He can talk about himself and his "remarkable" achievements all day until your ear bleeds and you die of exsanguination.

Everyone has this guy in his circle, right? In a society governed by the norms of modesty, you can't help but be nice and let him kill every cell in your body with his toxic genre of storytelling. You summon all of your strength and pray for God to take you out of your misery in the company of this egotistical maniac.

Truth be told, it's impossible to deal with these people, let alone shut them up. But this doesn't mean your soul is damned whenever he's within a two-feet radius of you.

Bite Your Tongue
First and foremost, never one-up this guy - don't go there. No matter how tempting it is to fire back, it's best to resist that urge and zip your lips. Don't fall prey into the trap of challenging him in a bragging contest; he may have invented this game for all we know. It'll definitely do more harm than good. You might even offend him by stating evidence that you're more superior. This may beget conflicts and create cracks in your relationship, which is especially bad when you work together. What you want is not to make your world smaller, but to find the best approach toward his boastful behavior.

Pay No Attention
Psychology tells us that people who made bragging their sport actually have insecurity issues. Drawing your attention directly to their great qualities and achievements is their strategy to get your approval. Giving them what they want would accomplish nothing but keep fanning his flame.

Change the Subject
This part is critical: you have to be fast and smooth in grabbing the wheel and take the conversation in a different direction. No research can say how much time you have to pull this off, but you've got to do it in an abrupt and efficient fashion, like how Quiapo snatchers do.

Ask him for an advice, his comment about the news, or basically anything just to steer the chat away from his favorite topic.

Distance Yourself
If that still won't work and you can no longer tolerate the situation, you got to give yourself some space. This may bear fruit because if many people, who share your sentiment, do the same thing to him, then he might realize that his approach to make talks won't work.

Boastful people are monsters that'll continue growing if you keep on feeding. Take the high road, and never stoop down to their level.