Hidden Awake

I took a stroll, or better said, an awkward stroll with me limping on crutches and wrapped in a head bandage, but in general, a stroll. Just a stroll down the tree covered nature trails spreaded with puddles and gravel and mushrooms in Opalan park for the third time that day, in the rain, without an umbrella.

This wasn't unusual for me this past 2 weeks, but it was unusual for it to rain nonstop for those 2 weeks and thank god for the thick canopy of trees around me or I would be drenched like everything else around me. Yet, it is a beautiful sight to see in Opalan county. But I didn't mind the rain.

I just wanted to remember her voice, her laugh, her giggles. I wanted to remember her stomping in puddles, her getting covered in mud and water, her gleaming face as the light burst through the trees and fog and rain and into her eyes. I wanted to see the girl that made the sun come on command and make it rain at will. But I couldn't remember. All I remember Is seeing her back, her golden hair going down to her shoulders, her hand-me-down lady bug boots from her mother, and her knapsack she always carried when we went to the park.

But I do remember Ann, and Kate looked just like Ann, who had hazel eyes, and a beautiful smile. But Ann wasn't the 5 year old girl I raised. Ever since, I couldn't picture Kate's face, just Ann's, and I don't know why. I need to remember Kate...before I forget...forever. I just couldn't because of the accident. I'm sorry Kate.

Oh god, i can't stop thinking about it. I kept seeing the car, the screech, the scream, the ambulance. I took some rights and some lefts down the tree filled trail and tried to shake it out of my head. Think before, just think back. I couldn't think. My mind spun again. Suddenly, i noticed that i wasn't on top of the trail no more. I looked up. Oh no. I found myself in front of the street where the accident was, Where the nightmare began.

Oh... Oh... I didn't feel good. I took a seat at the nearest bench and put my dripping head in my hands and cried.

Daddy! Come on! We got to get there before the ice cream truck is gonna leave!

Alright, alright. I'm going as fast as I can.

Daddy, come on! *steps off curb*

Hey, wait! Don't cross the street yet!

Sorry daddy. *giggle*

I feel someone touching my shoulder. What just happened? Did I fall asleep? I look up and it's Mike, my friend and the ice cream truck driver that holds my precious daughters favorite ice-cream. "Hey man, how is Kate holding up?" Mike asks. "She still is in the hospital," I reply. "Mike..."

"yeah?" "I'm scared, the doctors said they don't know when" "I'm so sorry Val. I feel like its my fault. I mean, I was the reason why she was near the busy street." "Mike, it's not your fault. It's that purse snatcher who shoved her." I felt another wave of dizziness coming, so Mike helped me into the ice-cream truck. "Val, you feel ok? You keep doing this. Val?". I couldn't hear Mike anymore because another vision came.

"Val, can you here me? Val?". I lurch up in fright as i relive the scene in my head, my heart beating faster than the last vision. "Val! Are you ok? This is the second time you spaced out. What's going on?"

"It's Kate. I keep picturing that morning with her. I can't stop the visions. I can't remember her face. I need to remember what she looked like!"

"Val, I'm sorry, but she got smashed pretty bad, I don't think she will look the same."

"Will she at least wake up?"

"Nobody can tell yet, Val, It may take weeks, months, years, or... Or..." Mike begins to choke up.

"Or never" I whisper. I begin to choke up too. "But I can't let Kate die, I promised I'll protect her... I promised Ann." I begin to drift off again.

As I ran down the empty hall towards the reception desk, I hear the beeping of machines and see empty stretchers lined up against the wall. Half way down the hallway is the receptionist at her desk, pale and quite, looked old, yet young at the same time.

She's taking notes, typing records of visitors on the computer, and taking an occasional phone call, with the same answer, Thank you for calling Natriview hospital, how may I help you? I run up to her and she slowly lifts her head

I dash down the rest of the hall and then enter Ann's room. She is lying in bed, connected to a heart monitor. The room is pale white and empty. I try to close the door quietly so I don't wake her, but she does anyway.

" V-V-Val, c-come here."

She sounds horrible and dry with a crackle in her throat.

"W-W-ater, so dry."

I take a mouth swab, moisten it, and lightly swirl it on the inside of her mouth.

" Thank you, that's better."

"Ann, the doctors called me to come right away. What's happening?"

" Val, the doctors think I'm not going to-*cough*- to make it through the next 10 hours, or maybe sooner. Depending on the stress *cough cough* I feel so weak now and I can't keep fighting."

" Oh god, oh god. This can't happen. You've been fighting cancer for years, you can't die. You've worked hard, all those years. You gave it your all. Please, you can't give up!"

"I'm sorry Val, but we all knew it was coming. After giving birth to Kate, the stress was to much and weakened me."

" No... Kate needs a mother, she can't just have a dad."

" Val, listen to me-*cough cough*- very carefully. *heart beat quickens* This is my last wish, and you need to promise you will work hard on keeping it. *heart beat quickens more*"

" -ooooo! I wake up screaming on my couch at home. Huh? How did I get here? As I scan the living room, I see Mike sitting across from me.

"Val, you are not all right. You just blacked out in my truck, and kids seeing an unconscious man in an ice cream truck is not good for business, so I brought you home. This is getting serious. Every day, you black out. I think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I know, I already called one. I'm planned to see her tomorrow. Her name is Dr. Munary, and she has an office in north Opalan." "So she is a high class psychiatrist, Working in north Opalan and all." "Yeah, I just hope she can help me."

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