You Need a Rich Fantasy Life When You Live With Chronic Pain

No, I’m not referring to Disney World; my thoughts are more specific than that, although Disney does have some beautiful, noble and humorous characters. We could all use a few twittering birds, comical owls and of course, a fairy godmother. I think all of us who suffer everyday can benefit greatly from a wild imagination, recognizing the power of imagery. We can also have a lot of fun and relief by developing a rich fantasy life. Let me list a few of the helpful images that are rolling around in my mind today.

Instead of seeing yourself as the wicked witch of the north, south, east or west, put someone else into that role. Oh, come on, there’s always someone in our lives who looks good wearing a sour face and a pointy hat; just don’t let it be you.

You’re the hero or heroine in your own life…you must be. You are not the evil doer. Actually, in most cases we try to blame ourselves, but our health just fell apart when we weren’t looking. Pretend a large bolder rolled off a thatched roof and landed directly on you and the horse you rode in on.

Take time each day to envision yourself pain free, active, and happy. If you will continue to do this, it will come closer to reality than always seeing yourself in a dark, dank cave being attacked by flying bats or werewolves.

Don’t let your mind dwell on your loss of dignity. If you deal with a limp, it’s undoubtedly affecting your self-image more than it is affecting the opinion of someone else. Place a smile on your face and they will respect you and try to understand. If you have to wear a pad for incontinence of bowel or bladder, you can still be a prince or princess. Who knows what went on under their pantaloons or jodhpurs? If you fall down by tripping or fainting, try to do it gracefully and always with dignity. Rebound the best way possible; never apologize. Always leave them guessing. Being a mystery is always more exciting than being pitied.

It’s always okay to laugh at yourself. Humor is in all things, including pain and suffering as well as death. I know that’s a strange reaction, but it really helps the family, the one who is passing, and others. You can’t cry all the time. You can, but it makes you look awful, it uses up energy you need for other things, and depletes you of fluids.

Always do it with panache. I used to think of myself as a classy chick with style. I then went through a period of time when I was defined by bathrobes, crying and yes, bitching. I finally gave that ratty old bathrobe to Goodwill, cut my hair, shaved my legs (or face for you guys..no legs, please) and used deodorant and a fresh scent every day. I did it for me and for my husband. It didn’t matter if I was going out or staying home. It just made me feel better about myself.

Never underestimate the power of glitter. If you’re wearing a cast, think of all the opportunities you have to adorn it with glitter, sequins, buttons, used gun shells, fluorescent markers, duct tape, and best of all, a zipper glued onto it. That will really make them wonder about it and you.

Connect to others with a smile. Look them in the eyes and sincerely try to relate. Such an act will help you defeat the ugly troll of self-centeredness. There are other lives being lived in this big world other than yours and mine. Others are suffering, divorcing, marrying, falling in love, and yes, some are dying while others are giving birth. Life is abuzz all around us. This is it. Don’t isolate yourself too much because life will go on without you. Children grow and develop lives of their own. Pups and kitties give and receive love, and the flowers will fade but they will come back again next year. Flowers, trees, and plants may appear dormant, but life is still there. Kids and animals are rarely dormant and need what we have to give to them.

Try to enjoy each season as it rolls around. This is one of those “Oh heck, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” moments. Why do we complain when we should be opening our eyes and reflecting on the consistency of life, its cyclic beauty as it takes place right outside our windows? I can hear the sleet hitting the windows as I write this, and I say thank you for a warm furnace, long johns, and a backup generator.

Be thankful for something every day. Some days you and I really have to pull out our imaginations and find something to be thankful for. It can be a new child, grandchild, or someone we love recovering from surgery. We can be thankful for the fragrant lavender scent of soap. We can be thankful for a load of freshly dried towels; go ahead bury your face in them and feel the warmth. We can be thankful for friends and family, for a car that starts on a cold morning, for a full refrigerator and cupboard. Get the idea? Just open your eyes and look. Don’t forget to say thank you. It can be a wonderfully transforming act.

Mental imagery can be amazing. It can also take us to a better place when we need the trip. It’s a natural high without drugs or alcohol. It can restore hope to a wounded spirit and can help us approach new ideas which will make our bodies feel better. Before you decide I’m crazy, give it a try.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sue Falkner-Wood

Sue Falkner-Wood is a retired registered nurse living in Astoria, Ore., with her husband, who is also an R.N. Sue left nursing in 1990 due to chronic pain and other symptoms related to what was eventually...read more