Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I've been all over the place in the past few weeks. Sometimes I feel fine! Thank you! Sometimes I feel certifiable. Let me tell you about one of the latter times.

So there's this normal-seeming guy at work. He's one of those people who got married recently and had a baby right away. Pretty much every time I've run into him in the last year he has asked the same question:

"So.... are you guys thinking about having kids soon?"

I've demurred several times. Finally after my second miscarriage I said something like:

"I just had a miscarriage."

So he's like, "Oh. I have a book for you to read."

Weeks and months went by and I never heard any more about the book. I figured I had already read it, since there are approximately 2.7 books about miscarriage in the world.

God doesn't want you to have miscarriages, and if you're having them it's Satan, and you haven't prayed enough

you can pray for AND God will grant you a pain-free delivery

all birth defects are caused by Satan, and you just didn't pray enough

women are cursed by Satan from back in the Garden of Eden

you can select the gender, eye color, and hair color of your future child with prayer

Seriously, the author claims she prayed for a 7-pound baby girl with red/blonde hair and blue eyes and guess what? She got what she wanted. Just like the drive-thru at In N Out burger.

The author claims that she was once declared infertile and then she prayed her way out of it. Now she has 4 healthy children! (Of course she gave no actual details of her supposed infertility.)

The book is full of testimonials about people who read her book and listened to her tape. They are like, "I had two miscarriages and then I started listening to your tape EVERY DAY. Now I have a beautiful baby boy!"

I wanted to shred the book to bits (might still do) and scream at this Jackie Mize for espousing complete bull shit (might still do).

But on the whole, it just makes me sad. I'm deeply saddened by this book and for the women who are desperately trying to pray their way out of tragic fertility problems that are completely out of their control.

It makes me sad that stereotypes about woman and infertility persist because of books like this one.

It makes me sad that my coworker would own and PASS ON a book like this.

It's sad and pathetic that this woman looks at her 4 healthy children and says, "I did this. Me and my amazing faith."

Friday, June 3, 2011

Anyone following the Casey Anthony trial? Her web of lies is just despicable, and the evidence clearly shows that she did it. In addition to whatever sentence is handed down, I think she should be put in a room with a group of infertiles, who will then have the opportunity to say whatever they want to her for a few hours. I would have a string of profanities for sure....

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About Me

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 2.5 years. After 2 miscarriages and 2 chemical pregnancies, I need to vent. The facts show that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, yet we rarely talk about it. Instead of funerals and flowers, the grieving parents typically receive stupid comments from even well-intentioned folks. Let's laugh about it as we cry. If you need to talk to someone, please know I am here for you. Email me at thingspeoplesaid@gmail.com.
love,
ed