Right-Wing Suburban Mum Easily Mistaken For An Inner City Lesbian

While her fashion sense and hairstyle seem completely heterosexual amongst her social circle, 46-year-old Northern Beaches mum Sandra Spacey is often mistaken for a lesbian from Sydney’s inner-west – every time she crosses the Harbour bridge.

The mother of three, and die-hard member of the Newport Surf Club, is unaware of the fact that most people on the CBD side of Sydney Harbour immediately assume she works in the restaurant game and campaigns for animal cruelty charities in her spare time.

Speaking from the hill at Brookvale oval yesterday afternoon, Mr Spacey says she is often puzzled why she is always handed marriage equality pamphlets when shopping for new cargo jeans in King street.

“I don’t go down to Newtown much, but people always act like they know me,” she says.

“There’s a few too many of the platinum blonde bimbos doing the foil and curl thing up at home,” she says.

“I need to go down to Newtown to get a bit of oompf. Those girls at Lick ‘n’ Flick barbershop really now what they are doing,”

With her son about to run on for under 16’s and her friend Stacy just returning back from the canteen with a bottle of Yellow Glen, the multimillionaire wife of a roofing magnate says the only thing wrong with Newtown is all the freaks.

“There’s a bit too much going on there” she says while taking off her birkenstocks.