Movie Review: Fifty Shades Freed

This movie should be called “Fifty Shades of Fake” if you ask me. Nothing about this film portrayed the reality of actual love, except for the fact that romance is sometimes a complete waste of time, money and energy.

I went into this film as unbiased as possible, as I had attempted to read the first novel and had to stop due to the dullness of tone and character development. Needless to say, as the theater grew dark and the Valentines couples and rowdy chick groupies settled in, I hoped for something like a worthwhile experience. I mean hey, the previews of this installment of the “50 Shades” saga looked somewhat suspenseful, as well as less explicit and sexually charged than the previous two. But no, the experience was less than satisfying, to say the least.

The plot line was all over the place, over-packed with events. Everything happened way too quickly, and, like the cherry on top of an already melted sundae, even the slow jams playing continuously throughout the film were substandard and mediocre (talk about a bummer).Beginning and ending in dramatic “get down” tunes, this tale had a “Twilight” level cheesy soap opera storyline (you know, except that there were whole lot less vampiricism and much more of a slippery X-rated undertone.) The ever bubbly Anastasia Steele (or should I say Mrs. Grey?), played by Dakota Johnson, had a nice little personality throughout the film. However, I think that because she is a comedian in real life, that quirky spirit showed through a little too much and didn’t quite fit in this character. Christian Grey, played by Jack Hyde, was just as controlling and chiseled as ever, which is cool, if you’re into stories with no character development.Marriage in reality is a beautiful and messy concept which is portrayed in dramatized truth throughout this dragging two hour long production. But the level to which domination, control, and unequal spousal rights were celebrated is somewhat inexcusable. Disobedience the way punishment is portrayed in this movie is something that quite utterly pissed me off. A man and wife need to respect one another and their boundaries, but subjecting control over your significant other is wrong. To punish your spouse in childish and unnecessary. This disrespects the embodiment of marriage, and for a film to portray control and abuse as otherwise is promoting an abusive culture where violence towards women in deemed as justifiable.