How To Choose a Matchmaker

If you are looking for love and want to be more proactive about the process, many people these days will hire a matchmaker. Matchmaking is the very old and time-tested art of matching: one who arranges marriages.

But these days so many matchmaking services have sprung up—it’s hard to know which company to hire. And it’s very unfortunate that many matchmaking services aren’t as reputable and caring as it might seem. Well, they care….but they care more about your wallet and less about your heart. Based on my own experience as a matchmaker, I can tell you how to make the best decision.

Ask questions! But, not just the standard questions, standard questions will get you standard answers. Here is a list of questions you MUST ask any potential matchmaker:

1) How do they find prospective dates or matches for their clients? You want to know that they have many ways to access the type of people that you want to meet. Trust me--you don't want to only be set up with their paying clients. And you want a better answer than: we have a large databse, we go to a lot of events or that they host events. You want to hear that they have many resources to constantly find new women—and ask what those resources are?

2) How many clients do they have or work with at a time? The lower their fee--obviously the more clients they have to work with in order to stay in business. The more clients they work with--the less personal attention they will be able to give you. It's simple math.

3) How many people work in the office or work for them and who really runs the day to day? If it is a large company with a staff, then it's likley that they will be delegating the "matchmaking" to lower paid employees. Ask specifically how they decide if someone is a good match for you, who makes that descision and ask them if they meet all of the women in person before setting you up? Who meets them in person? The owner? Or a staff member? Whoever is setting you up should be meeting EVERY woman personally before you ever meet her. Unfortunately a lot of matchmakers I hear about either never meet the girl in person (more common than you think) or they only meet her through Skype. That is NOT personal matchmaking.

4) Who will be matching you and setting up your dates? You want it to only be the owner because in my experience, NO ONE other than the owner of the matchmaking service will care as much or know as much. How will they set up the date? Do they send you profiles to review or photos?

5) How will they "pitch" you to prospective dates? You want to make sure they really understand who you are--this will help with who they find for you as well.

6) Are they wiling to give you a significant break on the price? If they say “yes” then they REALLY need clients AND your money—which is not a good sign.

7) Finally, this will really throw them for a loop: Ask them what strategy would they use in order to access the type of person you would want to meet? Where will they go? What will they do for you?

Then after your questions have been answered clearly--really what it comes down to is, who you trust and feel most comfortable with and you will know that very easily after asking the right questions. Remember, matchmaking while it is a business, it is a business based on heart, intuition and integirty. And the best matchmakers have all of those qualities.

And finally--once you have decided who to hire, you MUST trust their judgment. It is your responsibilty and your duty to go and meet the people they have thought would be a good match for you. Do not over think it, do not rule someone out before meeting them----if you do this, then you do not trust your matchmaker and you should have not hired them in the first place. The cleitns I've worked with you have had the most success with this process are the ones who are willing to go out and meet anyone I suggest, because they trust me and they never reget it. Because at the end of the day, it's a numbers game and the more qualified and appropriate matches they can put in front of you--the better your chances are at finding the right match. So if your matchmaker feels it is a good match, go and meet her!