Tag Archives: self-love

Like men, women get bored too and to fill that void we occasionally use sex. It feels good (for the most part) and it’s a quick release. Let’s face it, sex takes the stress away and it can be pretty damn fun depending on who you’re vibing with. I’m 110% guilty. I find myself feeling lonely with nothing to do and it makes it easy to turn to sex for a little excitement. The bad part about it is in order to get the sex I start to rekindle old relationships with people I stopped dealing with for obvious reasons but because I loved what they had to offer in that particular area I always found my way back. I also knew if I called they weren’t going to deny me. Not to toot my own horn but *beep beep* I got that bomb that keeps the boys coming back. Anyways they may have been jerks but I knew the sex was going to be amazing. My logic was why go out and find someone new who may have the potential to disappoint me in the bedroom when I can just go for what I know?

Love has been everything to me growing up. I’ve always been in love with love. It has been something I’ve always wanted and believed I would have by 27, which I’ll be in May, and married with more kids by 30. When I think of love I always had this fairytale picture painted in my head and it has not been what I thought it would be.

The love I’ve had in my life has been somewhat a dysfunctional kind. You know the love that you start off thinking is going to be forever but then true colors start to show. In fact it’s not love at all, it’s lust and that’s why in the beginning everything seems to be picture perfect. Suddenly the love you thought you had begins to mistreat you, use you, manipulate you, disrespect you and slowly break you down. It’s nothing like what you’ve imagined it to be. It’s not as beautiful as you thought it would be but instead it was painful and took awhile to pick up the pieces that were shattered and go on with life. I came across a few people I thought had the potential to love until they also betrayed me in ways they said they wouldn’t. Yet I still believed there was a love out there made for me and only me.

Please don’t let this be you ladies; wasting 9 years on a guy who can’t commit. Whole time you’ve been thinking you’re in a relationship when really it’s a situationship. Now the both of you are standing there with a dumb ass look on your face; confused as hell. He’s wondering why you think you’re his woman and you’re mad as fuck wondering why he thinks you’re not. Jokes on you girl. Should have seen the signs and cut him off a long time ago. So now this man has you stuck contemplating if you should let him go or ride it out because you’ve invested all your time into what turned out to be nothing. Better get smart and cut ties while you still have some life to live.

Su & Tray (Stage30) gives us another great podcast about self-love and relationships.

First thing that really caught my attention was you should listen to when someone tells you that the person you are with is foul as fuck, especially when its their friend. A lot of times we won’t listen because we think their friend is trying to throw shade/plot on how they can get you. We automatically assume they’re hating on your “relationship” but they are genuinely trying to let you know to move on because this dude is running around on you. We don’t think about it until the nigga’s foul as ways start to appear. Even if a dude is trying to get with you knowing you are dating his friend is most likely because he’s doing dirt behind your back or his friend told him go for it because he’s not all about you anyway. We as women already know when a dude ain’t shit ourselves but we chose to ignore the signs. Start listening to the “hating homie” and yourself.

Another thing I loved about this podcast was the fact that they called out us women letting a relationship define who we are as women. We put all of our energy into the relationship instead of ourselves. I’ve been guilty of this in the past. You start depending on being with someone in order to be happy. We lose sight of our goals and what we currently had going on in our own lives. The moment the relationship fails you see females talking about how they’re going to get right with the Lord, go back to school and focus on themselves. You should have been doing that in the first place.

I could really go on and on about this podcast but I suggest you take a listen for yourself.

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SHE has become than a blog to me. SHE is a way of life. SHE is so much more than who I was, who I am and who I'm becoming. SHE is YOU and all of those who've found it hard to express the pain in their life, the joy and the millions of different voices floating around in your head. SHE is the woman who has become sexually liberated and not afraid of the opinions of other women and men. SHE is for all of us who have been through hell and back but still managed to move forward. SHE is all of US...