Ballin, just tell her that you don't feel comfortable with it and if she really likes you/wants to be with you now that she shouldn't go. If she can't do that for you, she isn't worth it. You guys complicate things too much...yeah, your heart gets in the way of clarity sometimes, but she's ******* going on a date with an ex that she still has feelings for.......this isn't what we call a tough situation to figure out.

Ballin, just tell her that you don't feel comfortable with it and if she really likes you/wants to be with you now that she shouldn't go. If she can't do that for you, she isn't worth it. You guys complicate things too much...yeah, your heart gets in the way of clarity sometimes, but she's ******* going on a date with an ex that she still has feelings for.......this isn't what we call a tough situation to figure out.

Very true. I thought he was implying the reason she was going was because she was being guilted but no matter the reason going on it sounds like a date. I feel bad for saying it, because I'm never someone who believes in controlling anothers actions, but it really is just a matter of respect. Just like she wouldn't want him hanging out with other girls or an ex, more than likely.

Quote:

Originally Posted by draftguru151

If it was just a guy she went out with for a bit that would be one thing, but it was a long term relationship and she obviously still has feelings for him. If the dude is fine with going to a concert with her he's probably trying to bust a move. Pretty ****** up of her to go.

Ask her if she wants you to go to the concert (even if you can't go, make it seem like you attempted to). Might be worth it just to see how she responds.

Agreed. Seems pretty messed up to me. It's mainly a respect thing. You don't hang out with your ex. That's just not cool in any way shape or form. Especially not in a setting like a concert, which is date 101 material.

It's the fact that, from what he is saying, it's going to be one on one. If they had a common group of friends and a group was going to the concert then it's whatever and nothing to get worked up over. But, sorry.....if you hang out with an ex that you still have feelings for one-on-one at a concert none the less, that just doesn't work for me.

LOL this is hilarious. Apparently my ex(she dumped me few months ago) was looking at my facebook and saw that I just recently accepted a friend request from a girl. Now this girl lives around here but she was born at another state and I've known her for a while but nothing going on. Well, my ex texted me asking me who this girl was and how do I know her since she was from another state. I guess she missed the part or couldnt see that she lives around here now but whatever. The texting went on and I explained to her about it all and she said oh i thought it was a new GF. And stuff like IDC was just wondering.

So she said she doesnt care and wasnt jealous, but yet she had to text me to ask who it was and how it was "weird" that we was FB friends before I explained to her about it. Women are so strange....Dont get why they like to play games.

After commenting on this last night I just had a similar story happen. Me and my ex broke up but still hang out several times a week and suppose to go eat lunch today. I posted a pics of my UGA man cave on facebook last week which she commented on. Today another ex girlfriend comments on them. My last ex just texts me saying how she was deleting her comments from facebook and then did it. What the crap dang jelious people?

Women, even good ones, are clueless sometimes. When my wife and I were dating she accidentally went on a date with a guy that I knew liked her. She thought they were just friends hanging out. I knew I had nothing to worry about and that when nothing happened the guy would probably get the hint. We still run into him very occasionally and he still acts butthurt about it which I find hilarious considering it was years ago. He's still single btw.

That said, my adorably oblivious wife had no romantic relationship to the guy previously. This case is much different. She was in a relationship, then got out of it, and now is going on a date with him. She can't play the "I didn't know it was a date" card. It is a date. It is a romantic activity between two people romantically interested in each other.

Some of your post is confusing. Are you guys in a relationship or not? Because it seems like you both are and aren't. If you aren't, then you don't really have any reason to be annoyed with her for going to the concert with him. You have no claim on her. If you are, then your complaint is legit and this is a problem.

What really seems to be happening though is that you thought it was "pretty much" a relationship without formalizing anything, and were treating it like a relationship. And she has not committed to it like you have. She's undecided. There's a disparity in your viewpoints and I'd say solve that, one way or another, before doing anything more with this girl. She needs to make up her mind and you shouldn't wait around on a hook while she figures her **** out.

You guys are the best, thank you for responding. As far as whether it is a relationship, it is. She even said we were like boyfriend and girlfriend without the title. She is struggling, and I can tell she feels guilty because I am not investing much effort into us anymore. She slept in my room this morning as I said she wanted to do yesterday, and I put my back to her partly to honor her request to slow it down, but also because i knew she would try to be cute with me and she moved closer to me and started to wiggle her toes on me.

I went in the shower and came out and took off the towel and got dressed, and i caught her taking peeks at me. Then i left w/ her in the room, we talked a little, but i just went to class. I came back to find a note
"Thanks Again(underlined) for letting me sleep. youre too good to me. Also, sorry for sucking as a person lately. I'm tryin but this is whats best for me now. Anyway, figured youd like a little note...maybe! -(her name and a smiley)".

Forenci, Rob S, and Draftguru I think I am going to just tell her I don't want her to go with him (its a Timeflies concert). I didn't ask if it was in a group or not.

You guys are the best, thank you for responding. As far as whether it is a relationship, it is. She even said we were like boyfriend and girlfriend without the title. She is struggling, and I can tell she feels guilty because I am not investing much effort into us anymore. She slept in my room this morning as I said she wanted to do yesterday, and I put my back to her partly to honor her request to slow it down, but also because i knew she would try to be cute with me and she moved closer to me and started to wiggle her toes on me.

I went in the shower and came out and took off the towel and got dressed, and i caught her taking peeks at me. Then i left w/ her in the room, we talked a little, but i just went to class. I came back to find a note
"Thanks Again(underlined) for letting me sleep. youre too good to me. Also, sorry for sucking as a person lately. I'm tryin but this is whats best for me now. Anyway, figured youd like a little note...maybe! -(her name and a smiley)".

Forenci, Rob S, and Draftguru I think I am going to just tell her I don't want her to go with him (its a Timeflies concert). I didn't ask if it was in a group or not.

I would indeed bring it up. Just don't sound too controlling because that is off putting. Just talk about how you aren't comfortable and how she would feel if you went to dinner and hung out with an ex or something.

I would indeed bring it up. Just don't sound too controlling because that is off putting. Just talk about how you aren't comfortable and how she would feel if you went to dinner and hung out with an ex or something.

Quote:

Originally Posted by draftguru151

If you talk to her about the concert make sure the focus is on not trusting her ex and that's why you have a problem, so it doesn't seem like you don't trust her.

Im not gunna even mention trust, all I am going to say is that i realize she still has feelings for him, but going to that concert with him signifies her not making an effort to get over him, and quite frankly I am not ok with being disrespected and mislead.

yeah, i am going to do that right before. Also guys, this relationship was substantial, having sex over 10 times, meeting family, spending a lot of time together...its not like it makes sense that now she would start breaking down over her past relationship.

I know she didn't like i tried to control her actions (making her go to class, take care of herself and go to a doctor, not drink to much, etc.) and im sure there are other things i annoyed her with. But unless im completely oblivious, the overall consensus of what she told me, what her friends told me, and what her family acted like toward me, makes me feel like this relationship was very good; it just scared her i feel because he is still in her mind due to his manipulative texting.

February? I know you like her but she seems kind of dumb. Or maybe just really, really oblivious. Either way I would tell her to figure out what the hell she wants, and just ignore her until she can actually decide.

This girl that I worked with and dated this past summer left in August so we went our separate ways and haven't really talked at all since then. Now she's coming back and I have to work with her all day on Saturday. Awkward much?

This girl that I worked with and dated this past summer left in August so we went our separate ways and haven't really talked at all since then. Now she's coming back and I have to work with her all day on Saturday. Awkward much?

February? I know you like her but she seems kind of dumb. Or maybe just really, really oblivious. Either way I would tell her to figure out what the hell she wants, and just ignore her until she can actually decide.

yeah i dont really get it, coulda sworn she said philly with him, but i know the concert is not in philly and she said shes going with her friend whos obsessed with timeflies so idk where i got any of my info from.

So I've been on one official date with the girl I mentioned and we've spent the last 2 Thursdays before my night class hanging out. Things are moving a bit slow, we just getting into that early stage of holding hands and arm around the waist, kiss on the cheek type deal. I can definitely feel the rust from being out for so long but starting to trust my instincts more and more, feeling pretty good.

I know I laggin it with the pic but I swear she's so anti-pics haha

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Quote:

Originally Posted by TitanHope

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