AUSTIN, TX—Shoppers used to waiting in long lines at a local Target store’s three open checkout lanes were baffled this Saturday when a fourth register was opened. “We all just stood there, staring at each other,” said Nina Martin, a mom of three who was fifth in line at Lane 26 in the Parmer/I-35 North location when the light for Lane 27 suddenly flashed on. “There were at least three people behind me and we all wanted to rush over there, but none of us did because we just couldn’t believe it.”

Store manager Nicholas Strong made the unprecedented decision to open a fourth register when the three lanes already in use became overrun by long lines of shoppers. “Of course we see a lot of back-up on a daily basis – with only three registers open every day, that’s a given. But today, it felt more congested,” Strong explained. “The lines were so long that carts were blocking other shoppers from getting through, and when two separate customers pulled out their old-timey checkbooks to pay, I knew I had to do something.”

The decision to open an additional register wasn’t implemented right away; it took Strong and his subordinates some time to select one lane from the 42 available. “It was hard to narrow it down,” says one staff member. “We all debated for a while before we finally agreed on the best lane to open.” Ultimately, they settled on Lane 27 because of its convenient place in sequence after Lanes 24, 25, and 26, which were already open per the store’s usual procedure. “Lane 27 just made the most sense, you know?” says Strong. “I mean, why make people walk all the way down to Lane 1 or Lane 45 when there’s a perfectly good register right next to them?”

Once the extra register’s light came on, it took stunned shoppers several minutes to understand that the lane was actually open, and the light’s activation hadn’t been some kind of electronic glitch. “It was mass confusion at first,” said another customer, who wished to remain anonymous. “Some people thought it was a mistake, but I just thought it was some kind of practical joke. I was all, ‘FOUR lanes open at Target? Come on! Where are the reality show cameras?’”

Even some staff members were slightly bewildered by the new situation. Lana Boucher, an employee in the store’s meat department, said, “There was a buzz around the place, for sure. I didn’t even think those other registers worked if it wasn’t Christmastime.”

Despite their initial mistrust, shoppers did eventually grasp the concept of an additional available register; and a new line gradually formed with relatively minimal disruption to business. “There was a little shoving at first, sure, but overall the results were really good,” Strong reports. “Once they understood that the lane was really open and we weren’t messing with their heads, almost all of our customers responded in a very positive way. I’m glad we took a chance and tried it.”

Still, Strong knows he might face some consequences for his decision. “I don’t know what will happen once corporate gets wind of this,” he admits. “New and progressive ideas are always a little scary to some of the higher-ups.”

Calls to Target corporate headquarters requesting a statement were not returned.

The following terrible crimes and terrible people are real. And that is a shame. Here’s to hoping God whips up a hefty helping of bad karma and flings it their way.

Man Drops Trou and Flashes Pink Panties atTarget

In January 2013, 18-year-old Jason Tyler Stuart revealed his cute new thong to aghast shoppers in the women’s section. Witnesses say he made comments about his underwear, presumably asking whether it made his penis look fat. Police later found a backpack full of women’s panties in his car.Man Drives Around Walmart Parking Lot with Dong Exposed

Travis Keen, 28, of Louisiana pulled up next to female shoppers and offered an eyeful of wang in August 2011. With no criminal history, he entered the books with a bang. According to the police report, “Keen stated when he comes to Walmart he gets aroused.” You should see him on Black Friday.Totally Meth-ed Up: Woman Cooks Poor Man’s Cocaine at Walmart
In 2011, an Oklahoma woman, who could’ve been very attractive if not for biker’s coffee, spent six hours making meth in a Walmart. Alisha Halfmoon, 45, claims she couldn’t afford the ingredients, and employees found her mixing sulfuric acid and lighter fluid in a water bottle. Side note: “meth Walmart” yields 1.8 million search results.Woman Gets Superglued to Home Depot Toilet Seat

It took paramedics an hour to free Illyanna De La Keur from this precarious (and hilarious) predicament. Pranksters allegedly tampered with the bowls. Using WD-40, they were able to loosen her, and she suffered ripped skin and wounds. Video footage shows a cool lady who found it humorous.

Woman Pulls Gun After Walmart Denies $1 Coupon

In yet another tale in the virtual encyclopedia that is Walmart hijinks, Mary Frances Alday, 61, of Crawfordville, Florida, tried to use a printed $1 coupon. The clerk refused, explaining printed coupons are invalid. Then she brandished a gun. Calling the clerk a bitch and threatening murder, Alday waved around her Smith & Wesson .38 until she was tasered by the police.

Man Lives In Toys ‘R’ Us for Six Months

Fugitive Jeffrey Manchester hid in a Charlotte Toys ‘R’ Us for half a year in 2004. The church-goer and seasonal Easter bunny built a 4-by-10 cell out of sheetrock behind the bike display. He dined on baby food, and even put posters and a basketball hoop in his quarters. Police rearrested him after they found his fingerprint on a spray can. Five points for carpentry skills.

Woman Steals Python and Drunkenly Crashes Into Firehouse
A Long Island woman wandered hammered into a Petco and stole a snake. A little later, firefighters found Sarah Espinosa, 22, with the boa around her neck after she collided into the fire station. Police booked her on reckless endangerment, DUI, possession of marijuana and petit larceny.

Grown Men Rob Girl Scouts and Face Brownie Wrath

Two men stole $200 from Girl Scouts outside of a Texas Walmart in early 2012. However, the little vendors sprung into action, punching and slapping and clawing at one thief in the getaway car. This definitely deserves a badge.Woman Peppersprays 20 Shoppers on Black FridayA Porter Ranch woman incited pandemonium when she spritzed a crowd in Walmart during the notorious shopping day, injuring 20. She reportedly wanted an advantage in acquiring an Xbox. OK, I’m done: I despise Black Friday and the hysterical apes who worship it. There, I said it.