I Passed....but The Bar Exam is Still a Bitch: As God as my Witness.....I'll never fear the Bar Again!!!!!!

I Passed....but The Bar Exam is Still a Bitch

I took the Bar Exam more than once, several times actually, and lived to tell the tale....retakers take heart...the bar is a bitch...but not impossible...

Sunday, July 09, 2006

As God as my Witness.....I'll never fear the Bar Again!!!!!!

Is anxiety starting to set in? For me not so much.....I'm ready to face this thing down again.....I need to.....it's for sure like getting back on the horse.....that doesn't mean I don't have jitters.....everybody probably does.....but I'm determined to not let them get in my way this time....

Signs that I'm not coming so unglued this test.....I'm showing vast improvement.....even since my last sitting.....I am singing in the car, instead of white knuckling from point A to point B....I'm making jokes about how many times I've failed the bar....and saying that I've become damn good at it....so either way I'm prepared.....and the truth is I mean it....I'm ok with either outcome....which is not to say I have not worked exceptionally hard for a better outcome this go round.....I just realize that even the best laid plans sometimes go awry.......

I want this licence.....is it because I have a burning desire to practice law? Probably not so much at this point.....that very well may change.....but I am certainly not pleased that so far....I simply cannot practice.....that just doesn't comport with who I am....and what I know myself to be capable of....this has really become a personal journey for me.....and I'm not especially thrilled that it had to happen but at the same time I think I'm glad it did....because I'll never be afraid again.....I will never worry, what if I don't make it.....because I know now.....you pick up....you keep going.....and you are so much stronger, more determined and should I even admit it? ....humbled for the experience......I know, enough already...... I have more cards to memorize too......

I want to wish you luck on the upcoming exam! I too am a repeat taker – we are a unique group. I failed the Ohio bar for the first time last July. I was in the top of my class, had a great job lined up – studied my a** off, never went out, did everything right, etc. Honestly, I just choked… I was scared sh*tless and I choked. When I found out I failed (and I think deep down I knew) it was the most humbling/humiliating time of my life. I took it again in February and found my results out in April. Luckily I passed, but I can tell you that the 6 months between finding my results out for the first time and finding my results out for the second time were the most excruciating of my life. You can’t put it into words, and you can’t understand it unless you have been through it yourself. I will be honest - failing the bar exam took a lot out of me – I still don’t have all of my energy, heart, motivation back…I didn’t learn more about myself, it didn’t make me a better person and I didn’t learn some big life lesson. I feel like I was a good person before I failed and I didn’t need to be “knocked down”. What I have learned is that I am lucky… I have been as low as you can get – 100 grand of debt and I couldn’t even get an interview in a non-legal field. I was scared to death. However, thank God I passed and landed a good job. I pray to God that once I get my feet on the ground and I get my stability and heart back that I can help others who are down on their luck – because I know how it feels. I don’t want to take anything for granted and I don’t want anyone else to feel as low as I did. There is no rhyme or reason as to who fails and who passes – but for those of us who have failed we should never forget the struggles that we have been through and remember to help others when we can. You too will pass – you know you will – and once you do take time to enjoy it – take a lot of time to enjoy it, because you will have earned it, and then don’t forget to give back. Good luck – take a deep breath and you will be fine!!!

Love and smoochies to you guys!!! I am thankful for all the good wishes....and even more thankful that people are interested enough to read about my struggles here....it has been huge for me while I've been getting ready so thanks for just being here.....