Monday, June 6, 2011

Oh yeah. Didn't take long for me to totally F A I L. But, of course, I took a deep breath, shook it off, and I'm starting O V E R. This weight loss HAS to HAPPEN!!! I feel disgusting...repulsive, and downright GROSS. I'm not looking for compliments, or a pity-party...honest. It's just how I feel. I feel like I'm letting myself, my husband, and most of all, my children DOWN. It sucks! How am I supposed to be a good Mommy if I can't run and play with my girls? I also have Hypothyroid, and me sitting on my f(l)at ass doing nothing, is NOT helping one bit. I honestly think finding out that I had the disease caused me to mentally give up. I feel like all the work I put into weight loss will be in vain, and I will be trapped in this fat-suit for the rest of my life! I know that's not true...I know I really just have to work HARDER. I just don't want to. I want to curl up in a ball and cry. (Redonkulous...I know.) I am the Dictionary Definition of a WUSS. :P

To solve this "problem" I am having staying motivated, I'm joining Weight Watchers with my Mommy. (She's the best...) She totally doesn't need to go, can I just say! The woman is 61 (No, she doesn't care the I said that...) 5'1 and, like, maybe 120lbs? It's insane. She is healthier than I will ever be! I want to be JUST like my Mommy when I grow up! Such a true Proverbs 31 woman. (Grab a Bible, and read Proverbs 31 if you don't know what I'm talking about). Anyhoo. We start next week. Wednesday. I'm SUPER excited. I really think with her help, Weight Watcher's professional help, I can kick this weight to the curb, and REALLY make some lifestyle changes. I want the best for MYSELF, and for my family. This world is so full of JUNK, and I don't want ANY part of it! So friends...it's ON. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COMMENT and help me get my BUTT in gear!!! I don't want to fail again...I really don't. Oh yeah, if I don't blog every day, it's because I'm taking care of my 3 beautiful girls and I'm just too busy/tired. Orrrr, I could be elbow deep in poop, and macaroni and cheese...:P

Friday, May 6, 2011

this day has been redonkulus. :P i haven't even been able to work out. all 3 of my children are being insane! i'm hoping to at least get in a short walk. i was really hoping to get at least 4 to 5 good days in a row. oh well i guess. i can start fresh next week.

and i have to admit my flaws...i gave in a drank 2 jones sodas :( i regret the 2nd one. i don't feel like going cold turkey works for me...but i def didn't need to over do it! :P i will just work out an extra 15 minutes to make up for it. you can hold me to that!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

So today was pretty much the same as yesterday...But it is H O T outside. I started to feel lightheaded and dizzy, and then felt like I was going to puke. :X But I kept going...I just made sure to drink lots of water when I got home.

...I have to say it's pretty awkward walking/jogging/biking through my neighborhood! I guess no one on my block works, because EVERYONE is sitting outside and they stare at me as I pass by. I know they can hear me panting...and I'm sure seeing my fat butt jiggle in my leggings is a sight and a half... :P Oh well, one of these days I will pass by and nothing will be jiggling that they can see from their P.O.V.!!! :) That is the goal! I'm just a little concerned I won't be able to take the heat... Going to have to find something else to do or somewhere to work out.

Well Josh has a graduation from a class he was taking with church tonight. Wish me luck on not eating all the carb and sugar loaded food! I'm hoping there are lots of veggies or salad!!! :)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The quest to end my being the "Fat Bridesmaid"...I have a friends wedding coming up in June and need to lose at least 10 to 15lbs to fit into my already purchased dress. Yep...I bought a smaller size. Hoping it would motivate me. Yet, for whatever reason...I continued to sit on my ass and do nothing. I true fat girl! Hahaha. Anyway. Wedding aside...I really do want to lose 50lbs for MYSELF. I have always been small...but for the past 5 years I "let myself go"(and had 3 babies in the last 3 years) and well, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I know I can be small again. I am 5'3"...and yes, I'm going to tell you how much I weigh...167lbs. I used to weigh 120lbs. I'm only 27. I should be able to bounce back. So, I figured posting all the dirty details, and letting you readers bug me would motivate me more. :) Today was Day 2 of my quest, so far so good! I have done power walking with sprints, and riding my bike for 30 minutes. Plus, cutting out ALL SODA (eeek!) ALL FRIED FOOD(double-eeek!) and ALL UNNECESSARY JUNK(Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!). Sigh...what the heck and I getting myself into? 8/

So here is the plan:

Workout walking/jogging/biking Monday-Friday(Saturday if I can) for at LEAST 30 minutes. Add strength training when the first 10 or 15lbs are OFF.

Lose 10lbs by June 19th. If not 15...

Lose 40lbs by December 19th. (Yes, that is a HUGE amount of time...)

Lose 50lbs total and KEEP IT OFF.

This is a lifestyle change. I want to be HEALTHY, TRIM, and a better Mom and Wife because of it. I deserve this. I don't have to be a fat bridesmaid, or that Mom who gives up just because she has kids. It's NOT an excuse. Nope. It's ON!!

Thoughts on today: I am TIRED...but I feel good! It's amazing how quickly the body responds to MOVEMENT. (lol) The hard thing is waking up at 6:30, going to work where I do physical things...then coming home and having to ignore my babies and husband to work out. All in all...today was good. If I can do 2 days in a row...I can do 3, and 4, and 5, and so on...just need to KEEP MOTIVATED!!!

Oh, a word of advice for anyone who is planning on or in the midst of starting a new work out regimen...GET A REALLY GOOD DEODORANT...learned that one the hard way...

Sunday, February 27, 2011

so many challenges. today was one of those "i don't know if i can do this" days. then to top it off, i got on here and realized i can't even blog without there being a challenge. i'm either "saying too much", "not enough", or i'm being hurtful and judgmental.

THAT'S NOT WHY I'M HERE.

i started a blog to share my life, and to GET REAL. so, i guess i just have to apologize in advance for everything i'm going to say. i'm not going to "tip-toe" around. i just want to be able to share what i'm feeling and either help someone in the process who might be going through the same things, or i just want people to get a good laugh and say to themselves "thank goodness it's her and not me!".

anyhoo.

i honestly never really know what to say when i get on here. :P

here's a story of one of my challenges for the day, and a "thank goodness it's her and not me" moment.

all my girls can generally nap at the same time. which is nice. it's usually only a matter of minutes before at least one of them wakes up, so i do what i can to either relax, or get things done. today i opted for car searching on line. at this point, macie, my 3 year old was asleep...about 40 minutes later i heard her get up and start playing. i decided i would wait 20 more minutes and then get her up. should have just gotten her up...it got really quiet, so i went in to check on her and oh. em. gee.

POOP. everywhere.

she stripped, pooped, finger-painted, and made poop pies. yep. now hear me! i take pride in the fact that my girls really don't do stuff life this. it's the occasional crayon on the wall, or sippycup spills...but not POOP on the wall and toys!!! i was LIVID. i flew off the handle. scared the crap out of macie. and spent the next 2 hours cleaning while the poor kid cried and said i'm sorry over and over.

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

challenges.

for reals. life got ugly today. life looked me in the face and said "POW! you're a MOM! now, SUCK on THAT!".

everything settled down...and macie and i had a LONG talk, and we worked it out. (i still have a lot of stains to scrub...:P) all in all...i'm tired. :)

all this to say. even though life can REALLY be poopy(pun intended) i wouldn't give it up for anything. i love my life. i love my girls. to the end and beyond. poop and all. :)

About Me

i am a wife. mother. birth doula. gold canyon candle consultant. i have 3 wonderful daughters: Macie Valentine, 3.5, Odessa Mae, 1.5, Lillian Norah-Grey , 8.2 months. my life is a whirl-wind. i am hopelessly flawed, but living life the best way i know how. my life is a blank, open book. each day fills the pages.