Hello, I'm Suzy and I'm in my late twenties.I got up and had breakfast around 10:30am but then went back to bed not long after and stayed there until almost 4pm today...I napped a bit but mostly read comics on my phone and cuddled with my dog. Today I was supposed to go to quilting group with my grandma and run some errands on my own after that but I didn't...again. Since I got up I've been wanting to just go lay back down but I haven't.

Last week I went into the doctor and explained a bit about what's going on and got a prescription for an emotional support animal for my dog. I was really hesitant but my husband encouraged me to go ahead and see about having her as my emotional support animal "just in case". I don't plan to be taking her anywhere with me that I wouldn't normally but that's a bit of my problem...I don't leave my house. Honestly if it weren't for my pets I probably wouldn't go outside much in general. I'm not working right now and honestly thinking about applying for jobs makes me very overwhelmed and results in days like today basically. I've been training her to be my service dog, not that I have a professional saying I need one...I still need to see one of those. So far she does pressure therapy, redirection when I start to stress/panic, and she can handle some serious cuddles, like today, just hours of me just curled up around her and she never pulls away. We're still working on a few things when we're in public since she can get a bit distracted with people wanting to pet her. I only take her to places that are dog friendly, usually just the local thrift store or home improvement store. I finally got out of bed today because my dog told me to when I realized how long I'd been in bed and started to stress so she did pressure therapy combined with nose nudging to motivate me, I'm so proud she's learned to do this independently already.

Hoarding, that's a big thing. I've gotten a lot better and I recognized it when I was still a teen and have slowly worked to let things go enough that I'm down to a more manageable amount of stuff. It's mainly specific collections of things, many different collections of things. I think most of my anxiety stuff can track back to realizing I was a hoarder and trying to get that under control or managed somehow. Now I mostly hoard digital creatures and items in online pet sims like FlightRising.com, I'm super into my dragons on there. There are a bunch of pet sim sites I rarely or don't really use anymore but I know my hoard of creatures/stuff isn't going anywhere so it's like I have a bunch of stashes tucked away.

I did finally start seeing a counselor but they were like 15 minute appointments once a month where she would ask how I've been, I admit I didn't do most of what she suggested and her just making other suggestions...so I guess I wasn't really being that helpful but I was all for sharing feelings and stuff. I still have the list of books she suggested and podcasts...I should probably look into those at some point.

I tend to talk a lot (I cut so much out of this post already) and overshare, my mom's like that too. My husband it baffled by it because I talk when nervous and all the while my mouth keeps talking while I'm just yelling at myself in my head to shut up already.

So yeah, there's A LOT about me. I decided I should find some place where I could talk to similar people, I have some friends who have anxiety and depression but I don't want to put that burden on our friendships. I figured in a place like this I'd find other people who are actually looking to help and share in that support with others.I've never self-harmed or thought of it so I think because of that I tried to convince myself I don't really need help but I've realized that I really do need to get something figured out because I'm just hiding all the time.

I am so sorry and I do understand to some level. I have had seasons just like you describe. I am glad you are able to see a therapist. I personally dig deeper into my relationship with Jesus in these seasons of mine. I use all the tips the therapists have given me as far as deep breathing, relaxation, supplements, medicines and diet restrictions ect. I do follow them all, but mostly what helps me is worship music and prayer. I find myself spiraling down when I get lazy or too busy for that.I am finding with anxiety and depression it is a journey to wellness. We find what works for us and steps at a time work towards a better life. I think it would be great if your pup can be trained! All we want to do is cover our head and hide, but that is not life-giving for us. It robs us and the world of the impact we were created for. I am praying that you find what works for you, that you find relief and a new vision and hope for your days. Best wishes to you!!

Hi Suzy! First of all, the quilting class sounds like a blast. I have always wanted to take one. Hopefully, you will have the opportunity to go again. I am sure at least having the option to take your dog places will be nice to consider. Some days you may need him and most days, you probably won't. I think you made a great choice. Take the job process slowly, maybe even just part time would give you something to look forward to doing, but it would not consume your day and take away the time that you are needing/wanting to be at home. You are making great changes in your life and moving at your own pace. You are so brave and it sounds like you have a great support system!

Get a full medical- they're unlikely to find a cause (especially in the UK) but you might be lucky for instance: fibromylagia/hyperuricaemia

Is there a cause? Bereavement? Ugliness? Low self-worth? Childhood abuse?

Once you have the cause then address it. You have to. This Life is not a practice whether there is Heaven or Hell (I can show you a picture of Hell), you have to.

Life is not about being happy; understand that.

Life is about struggle 'n' strife; how you deal with it and how the energy you control is thus improved. Try to understand this statement with all its inherent ramifications, lateral nuances & implications.