NFL Pants Leave Little To The Imagination

Nike's new gear exposes the public to the dirty underside of the NFL in the ultimate tech fail.

The goal of technology, specifically for our viewing pleasure, is to bring the image of what we are watching as real and detailed as possible. They want it to be as good, or even better than if we were actually there. For most cases, that's awesome; but this past weekend while watching the NFL, I can't say that having an awesome amount of clarity was an all around good thing.

During the offseason, the NFL struck a billion dollar deal with Nike that affected every franchise in the league. Bye bye Reebok — who had been providing the NFL their uniforms for a decade — and hello, Nike. To speak generally of their changes — because change is a must when you switch companies — most of it was under the radar that helped with staying cool and feeling comfortable on the field. While there were some cosmetic changes, with the Seattle Seahawks being the main recipient, most of Nike's media push centered on the functionality of their products, including the use of roughly a dozen different fabrics on a single uniform to maximize ventilation, durability and comfort.'

"Designed and engineered from the inside out, the new uniform focuses on creating a system where the baselayer, padding, jersey and pant work in concert," Nike notes in its press release.

Unfortunately, especially for those with big-screen HD tv's, there was an unfortunate side effect of these new fabrics that Nike never considered, they become see-thru when wet.

That's right, this weekend we were forced to witness the practically bare behinds of a number of sweaty oversized men, specially viewers of the Detroit Lions-St. Louis Rams game. Those viewers were traumatized with the spectacle of Detroit's left tackle, Jeff Backsus, or more specifically, HIS Backus-endis.

While Nike or the NFL has not officially commented on this, you can expect some alterations to be made swiftly, if only for the sake of potential future lawsuits containing traumatized men and women seeking restitution for therapy bills.