Friday, July 29, 2011

I am hereby officially missing my gidi nights~the occassional jazz n blues at the Muson center, oooh that suya spot we hang out on Gerald after work, MotherLan+lagbaja=Konko below!, the crew at Terra, Ikoyi club nights, roasted fish at country club, that african restaurant in yaba behind CCC (jeez,i am forgetting names already!)Finicky,or something like that!Forget all that silverbird and whats the name of its counterpart in lekki??!!...I can't believe i am forgetting names of places and streets already!!!Noooo,i cannot forget!!!Meen, i am ditching this place and going home for christmas!!!

But for the moment, sisi eko is rocking the airways in Brum, in preparation for our after dissertation naija party at Edgaston!!!!Ooooohhh!!Gidi sha, for all the sufferring and smiling!!!!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Dear me...This is for that day you will wake up at 40 and wonder why i brought us to this place...(well if we didn't hit the delete on this blog somewhere along the way).

Sometime towards the end of our M.Sc programme,life happened, and i was brought to a cross road, faced with a decision to continue down a certain road,or change direction. This was the place (for most parts) that brought us to where we stand today. And standing i did,dear me. (If indeed Heaven gave me the grace to stand)

For some reason,i think back to the childhood story of PeterPan and his fascination with Never land...Incase,you have forgotten,something happened to us long time back,where we fought hard till we almost bleed to death...we fought for an idea,a suppossed ideal,and we came out with the goal. That is fine. Battles make you stronger,and they sure did. But like PeterPan,when something traumatises your whole being,you tend to subsequently lock it away in a far closet and choose to forget,wanting to be child forever along with the part of you that survived the wars....That is why i have always laughed the loudest,because i treasure the simplicity of predictable everyday joys and quietness.

But somewhere towards the tail end of Business School,those old doors got jarred open again and i remembered the reality of what it means to go to war. But you know,when you grow older, if you ever have to fight again,you pick your fights. You are no longer fighting for an ideal or a vague idea...you have now understood life better,so you know what idea makes sense and what doesn't...but still dear me,there is the bit of justice and principles that may constrain you. It is on the basis of this, that i am forced to stand up, forget Never land, and be a man once again...even though scarred as hell. But should i have run away dear me - because i was afraid?...Wouldn't you have mocked me as a fool? But what if being a fool brought you quieter days at 40? Do you see the tyranny of choices..you just never ever know. You only do your best, i did my best i swear i did.

I am not sure what choice i will make right now,but i know it will radically determine the course of our days,- heck more your days than mine! You wonder why i am so cynical and irrational,may this little piece answer your questions. The apostle Paul once quoted saying...'even if my life is being poured out as a drink offering..'Those are the words of a man who knew the implications of his decisions before he made them,yet he made them still...that is where i stand today dear me.. I know what this might lead to,yet i might continue...

I really hope your life turned out more beautiful than mine. I hope i did not put you in a place of regret and turmoil...I hope i made the right choice, and even for all the stress you might have to endure, that your days are still laced with plenty silver linnings- the fruit of the ideal that i choose to believe in. Dear me...there aren't alot from which you can base your decisions in life. There is God, principles, and the rest is just flakes from which you hope luck plays you a good card. I've found that God many atimes goes quiet when you have to make a choice..because choice is a gift He's given to us and will not take back. He gives you an idea and waits for you to decide. The best one can do maybe,is to take that idea,and mix with the best intentions-in justice and faith, then let life churn the rest out....Nobody can make a choice for you,nobody did...so i take unflinching responsibility.

You know all i am talking about...heck i wish it just turned out that i was being over dramatic here - if wishes were horses,i'd sure as hell ride out of here right now. And that's the crux of the whole matter, to ride this horse, or get off whilst i still can...that was the choice as the doors the NeverLand got closed forever. Behold i set before you this day, Life and Death, choose...what?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

This note is borne out of being awake at one p.m due to a wandering mind that will not let be. Hence, it may have no structure – as typical of many other t.notes. The crux of my question is, when does a man get married? As in seriously.

I have realized alot of things during this past one year. One of them is the plain fact that i spent the whole of my previous years in lagos cooking up excuses to fleet away from the whole cabal of marital life. It was, after i get a better job, after i finish my professional exams, after i get a bigger appartment, up until the best and last one – “after i’ve gotten a masters from an FT ranked Business school.” Well it all worked so far until this moment where i am tidying up my dissertation to submit, and the question is coming back to bite me in the ass. Only that this time, i have clearly run out of bright ideas. When does a guy get married anyways?

I accept the fact that the audacity of this post and my obviously underlying reticence from the institution of marriage might maybe be ironic, even a seeming spit on the face to many women who are doing best to deal with the depression imposed by parents and peers who keep badgering them with the opposite end of the question in their own right of ‘when will you find a man and settle down?!” Dunno, maybe in my own honesty, i might provide a hint of clue to the other side of the coin from the man’s perspective. Or maybe all of this will still not make sense...All of that withstanding, frankly,as per this subject,i would admitt that life may not be so fair to female liberty there. The thought of waiting for some man to make himself as some chivalric heroe that deems himself fit to come and sweep me off my feet and whisk me away from the endless badgering into his two-bit home as his wife & property...make me shudder!#justsaying.

As i have said earlier, the past one year has been a pandora’s box of learning curves for me, as day in day out, i faced up to the worst of me, like i many times poured out into these pages. I do not reject any of my experiences, even as of the ones i repent of. I point this out to highlight my most recent excuse to the question of this post, which i coined thus: I will get married after i have tasted the company of as many and as diverse of women as possibly can! I justified it as some kind of King Solomon’s irony (read your Bible if unaware). So as i did best to fleet away from the question that will not let be, i spent countless hours indulging countless, many times meaningless chats with some amazing women(giving kudos where it is due). Hopped buses and trains for dates in the weirdest of places we could think of...Enjoyed the wonder of starting off blind chats to the exciting trepidation of finally meeting the other person at the end of the screen...Been in beds with some...(rather ahemm interesting) women, and in this particular process, earning myself a funny reputation of being that guy who gets a woman half naked, then hops off the bed with some mumbled excuse before hurrying out of the room. As i recall many of these instances, i can only SMH, with a tinge of LOL, and evil smirk. I point out non-regret, because my intentions in all have remained noble, i have not put anybody in any compromising position (fact), no durex satchets were harmed during any of these escapades, and have neither broken any willing hearts. Still all part of the learning, i told myself...but still i have not answered the underlying question. And as a friend of mine quoted recently on FB...it is no use investing your hard spent life in someone you are not going to commit too—it is bad investment. Is it?

The question bit harder over this weekend as i headed out to a reunion resort trip with a bunch of old friends. On my way i passed by musco’s town, called him up as usual, (See i am ever so faithful to that man) but as usual, he didn’t pick up his phone. (Later he’ll be preaching to me. I wonder what he’s always doing sef!). Anyways, the jarring point of the weekend shinding was me finding myself the centerpoint of same ole ruddy question- since i was apparently the last of the pack still purposefully riding the crest of bachelorhood with no seeming indication of nearing any formal commitment. T.Notes man, what are you waiting for?! When are gonna get married?! I replied every of the question with xteristic humour, cynic cut-backs, sarcasms and many a evil winks. I thought i did pretty well as i caught the train back to base at the end of it all, except that their evil deed was already done, leaving the seed of the question properly sold and spawning within me – badgering throughout the three hour train trip.

I will continue the rest of these meandering thoughts back in bed. Trip was long and i am tired, but i will leave with these final thoughts....I know that i hate the idea of allowing my life to become normal and predictable, hence i refuse to make a commitment. I know that i selfishly covert my freedom too much to want to give it away to the bounds of marital commitment. I know that i am scarred of getting old and i hold a thought that once i get married and one kid pops, then i am on the fast track to retirement. I know that i struggle way too hard with too many of my evil devices, so i wonder how i will ever forever remain faithfull to one person. I know that i despice all of the paparazzi that Nigerians have made the whole of marriage become. I hate the jamboree, the attention, the glitz...please let be! I just see it as, if i am going to give in and do this, i know it might be a hard road ahead when i consider all of my devices, but i know that i would want to give the best to the person i commit to, i know that i have my moral wits around me. So i would opt for a quiet union in London, and face the rest of the ordeal in quietness and help from God! I fear that when they make a big deal out of the whole wedding thing, two weeks afterwards, i might decide that, babe, ehmm,this thing ain’t working ooo!!!So all that said, when and how could i possibly get married?!!When will i wake up and finally ‘get it’! Will that ‘moment’ ever come?

Musco asked me recently that, what’s so special about Tz anyways, is she so breathtaking such that i am stupidly willing to risk all of the common sense of all i have spent years of lives building?! The answer to that question may be relevant here. I can’t get married to Tz, (lol) she’s too wild at heart. But recently, we sat down and casually discussed marriage and as i guessed, i found her listing for herself every one of my own mis-inclinations/reasons not to get married. She wasn’t being callous or racey...instead she had the similar distant reflective look that i have right now casually typing these words, as she finished off finally looking my way and concluding...why should i get married T—however ways we consider it, it’s not going to end well - someone will just end of getting hurt. Give me good reason that stands, and i will get married.

In as much as this is a personal reflection...if you are reading (as i would be sometime in the near future), understand that I do not conclude out of arrogance, but out of frank wonder and quietness.

Good night...jeez i am tired!

P.S: Arike, i cannot seem to be able to access you blog URL. if you could paste it into a reply,would love to hop into your soup soon!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Musco and inStilettos are crazy nutters!!!If you want to laugh out loud on a lazy friday night,i recommend that you conference call with those two!(P.S, where in heaven is YN?!I miss her like crazy!)Anyways,I will use this note to drop the requested details about Tz which i could not answer then due to ahem...external circumstances. And also...this business of SHINING THE CONGO!(SMH).

About Tz,i have a question(which should answer your question).I.e What really goes on in the powder room when you're having a home-date and the girl excuses herself and briefly enters the bathroom?!Like really?!#perplexed.

I have always always been curious!And i wondered yet again when Tz took that infamous powder room excuse, then returned with her top blouse flying loose,low cut jeans riding dangerously low,looking so uber hawt,i didn't need a soothsayer to let me know something wrong was about to go down. So i did the sensible thing...of which you'd best use your imagination to handle the rest jare! But i will use that cue to treat Mena's fuckup here about this shinning your congo/kondo business.

Here's the great mystery explained:

Once upon a time,musco tried to chance Mena from T.notes, but unfortunately he was unable to last very long before he would orgasm during s$%x.Musco was concerned that he was disappointing his newlover, so he called his ever reliable friend T.Notes for advice. T.Notes gave musco the old age advice that shinning the congo before s$#x often helped men last longer during the act. Musco decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn'tdo it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open.He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his toyota truckover on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath asif he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to shine his congo.

He closed his eyes and thought of mena. As he grew closer to a congo eruption,he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied "What?" He heard, "This is the police. What the hell are you doing?" Musco replied,"I'm checking out the rear silencer/axle, it's busted." The cop says, "Well,you better check your brakes too, because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago." (A true not-so-old folktale retold!)

And that my friends,is how Musco lost Mena,and T.Notes got his game back on- currently cuddling, being a darling and nursing our vixen angel-blogger back to health!Lol!

P.P.S: Oh,about post title...At first i used to believe it was just because i have this compulsion for excessive buyings of new brief,boxers and things,but what do you think, maybe i should get braces for my big mouth!!lol!

Monday, July 4, 2011

It's 12.24am. I just called musco a few minutes ago and he didn't pick up his phone!I don't know the kain sleep the guy dey sleep sef!I mean,what sort of conscience goes to bed when you need him at 12.24am!(Pls,I am looking for a new friend in the U.K.If you do not mind idle chitchats that will involve 911 confessions,drop your digits here abeg!)

To keep this short...i called musco as i hurried out of Tz's bedroom. (Don't crucify me yet,pls!).The annoying thing about Tz (which formed the title of this short post...24hours after i became a LBB),is i've been trying to get to the girl for the past 10months.And this evening,i mention to her, that, Oh,i got the job with XyZ Bank,and less than two hours afterwards,i was in her room (for the 1st time),staring at her amazing chocolatey hips a few centimeters away from me on a tiny bed and watching her twirl her hair about her fingers.....SMH...even i would be utterly stupid if too much had happened therein.(Is that not the kind Kanye called a gold digger?)

But it doesn't beat the fact that she suggested and i accepted....and i don't know sef...this U.K dey tire me...i need to talk to someone,i'm a serious confusionist mess!I'll be back,i need to give Rs a call. The problem with all these my other friends is they'll start preaching exodus and genesis to me, when what i need is NIV/the message.

7.53am...after a bit of night's sleep.You see the problem is not so much the individual episodes,but the frequency and intensity of them,and the fact that each time i only make it through as of the thin foreskin of an unused condom(even though yes i went looking for trouble myself in the 1st instance). And moreso,it isnt so much the acts itself,but the principle behind it is what ruffles me. Its like how Paul explains that the lawcode starts out as an excellent piece of work,then my sins find a way to pervert my intentions and soon the lawcode instead of being used to guide me,now becomes the devil that seduces me-using good as a cover to tempt me. So i don't understand myself, i decide one way then i act out another way,toying with the things that i absolutely despice. And its not once again the acts that gall me,but the fact that if i soon give it all up and abandon to my most tipid self,i become "common". Just the same as any common flaunderer...and i hate the prospect of being...common.

I need to start work.Bury myself and become a workaholic,that has always helped.Oh, N P.S, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, HOT-in-STILETOES is back on blogsville!P.P.S: Ignore the seeming egoism in post title,it's only a naija slang.