Michael Garret: Ok, Jamie, let’s just jump on this couch. [Jamie Lee and Michael sit on the couch. Jamie Lee is barefoot on the couch] Ah, you know, make yourself comfortable. Because this is all about you being you.

Jamie Lee Curtis: Ok, do you want my top on or off?

Crystal Sprigg:[confused] You can keep your top on.

Michael Garret: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Its just a yogurt commercial, so we’re good.

Jamie Lee Curtis: ‘Cause when I was on the cover of AARP magazine they were like “are you sure you don’t mind putting on a bathing suit?” and I was like “hell, I’ll take my top off and I’ll take my bottoms off” and I did. And they said “good for you, Jamie Lee” and I said “damn right good for me! I’m getting older and I look good and proud of it!

Michael Garret: Ok, Jamie Lee. Should we….should we try one?

Jamie Lee Curtis:[eating yogurt] Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, if I was 21 and doing this commercial I would have been all about what I look like. Now I’m like, hell yeah! I’ll sit on this couch and eat this yogurt that makes you crap.

Michael Garret: Ok,ok. Here we go. Let’s roll camera.

Jamie Lee Curtis: Ok, I killed this one, guys. Can I get another Activia?

Michael Garret: Oh, yes. Absolutely, let’s make that happen.

Crystal Sprigg: We love your enthusiasm, Jamie Lee!

Jamie Lee Curtis: I love your product!

[She gets another yogurt]

Michael Garret: Great.

[A.D appears ready to set the scene and shoot it]

A.D.: Jamie Lee, Activia. Take one. [clack!]

Michael Garret: And, action!

[Gentle theme music plays. On the top bottom of the screen there is the Dannon logo. On the bottom the Activia logo. Jamie Lee sits casually on the couch, feet up, barefoot]

Jamie Lee Curtis: First, the bad news. 87% of women suffer from digestive issues like ocassional irregularity. Now the good news–

Jamie Lee Curtis: Why, why would I do that? And make all these good people wait around? No way! When I was younger, a poop in my pants in a commercial shoot would have been embarrassing. But not now! I’m proud of it! Let’s go!

A.D.: Jamie Lee. Activia, take two.[clack!]

Michael Garret: Ok, uh, action!

Jamie Lee Curtis: First the bad news. 87% of women—I’m sorry, can we cut?

Michael Garret: Cut, cut!

Jamie Lee Curtis: You know what? I made mistake. I think I need to go to my trailer.

Michael Garret: Ok, all right, everybody. That’s it. Let’s take 10.

Jingle: Activia!

[Michael helps Jamie Lee stand up from the couch. She puts a hand on her butt and walks away from the set] [fade] [Cheers and applause]

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn View all posts by Don Roy King