--- QUESTION:"I think my friend is gay. All my friends think he is too. Sometimes he jokes around and he likes to touch us. He looks at porn but we all think he pretends to like it, and I personally think watches it to look at the guys. Girls often like him, but he never does anything about it. We think it’s ‘cause he’s gay. He also pretends he’s extremely homophobic and goes crazy when we call him gay. Whenever we mention that we think one of our friends is gay, he often says “Let’s go beat him up!” I think it’s a cover-up for how he really feels inside. He’s not feminine or anything,and he acts like any other guy. Is he gay?

Joey, California"

ANSWER:

Joey,

It’s possible that your friend is gay, or bi, or confused and insecure about his sexuality. Most of what you’ve said seems to point to that, especially his touchiness about being called gay, and his homophobic overreactions. Men who have homosexual or bisexual feelings on some level, conscious or not, may act homophobic as a denial of their feelings, or because they are afraid of appearing gay. But often, as in this case, it just backfires and makes others suspect their gaynesseven more. Not all gay or bi guys effeminate or swishy, so the fact that he doesn’t “act gay” doesn’t matter. There’s definitely something up with him. He may be gay and not realize it. Or he may think that he’s gay andis having a hard time dealing with it.---

so i guess.. im sorry for you whose became gay in denial. because u're having a hard time.