Malka is now in love with Dean Martin and his ilk. This was discovered when she and my husband walked past an Italian restaurant and she heard the music, stopped, and signed more frantically. Now we have to listen to the Dean Martin Pandora station and as each song fades out, frantic more signing. Now my husband can never deny she is his.

Nate leaves today for London and this will be the first time I have been all alone with Grey overnight. Tomorrow night we fly to Michigan. I normally get anxious a few hours before the flight, but man, I have been a ball of nerves all week. I wish we were flying to night because I know I'm not going to sleep and then no sleep tomorrow on the red eye. Eek!im also not sure how I will get a shower in tomorrow, maybe once grey goes to bed I can shower.

Shae's back & forth, kind of the same way we are. My in-laws are visiting with their 4 shelties, so we think we hear him or catch a glimpse from the corners of our eyes and that is just the worst. Silas seemed oblivious, but actually seems to understand pretty well. He keeps breaking our hearts by saying things like "we don't get to have him anymore.". Sigh. So hard.

We've had a lot of deaths in the past few years (5 of their great grandparents, 2 cats and 1 dog), so Shae knows the drill by now. Which is sad in it's on right, but it does seem to help a little. He's been wanting to look at old pictures of Three Three and talk about the cute things he did, that always helps him a bit.

I don't really know where to put this, so I'm putting it here. Peter and I went to a friend's house tonight for a laid-back roll your own sushi/birthday party. There was another friend there who brought her 3 year old daughter who we have occasional playdates with, so they had a great time and played, blah blah blah. The friend whose house we were at has two dogs and six cats, but all the animals were locked away except the older dog, who's always been friendly and good with kids. He had a new bone, and I made sure to constantly remind Peter to leave his bone alone and not put his hands near the dog's mouth.

Anyway, it's getting late, I change Peter's nappy and put his jacket on and say goodbye, then walk down the hall to get my bag and by the time I get back down the hall I hear Peter scream and he comes running. It was chaos for a couple of minutes, but we finally figured out that the dog had bitten his hand, and when I asked him he said he put his hand in the dog's mouth (WHY). Anyway, the bite isn't terrible, only one major puncture and it didn't bleed for long, so I opted out of taking him to the ER or minor med. I plan to call our ped tomorrow and see if they'll call in some antibiotics, because the last thing we need is him getting an infection in his hand.

Anyway, does anyone have advice for minimizing the trauma? He was pretty shaken up (I had to whip my boob out to get him to let us even look at his hand), and it took a long time to calm him. After the fact he kept talking about it and suddenly breaking out in sobs. I'm weirdly calm in situations like this, so I don't think I added to his panic, but I'm afraid he's going to be afraid of all dogs now, and I really don't want him to be. We talked about how the dog didn't mean to hurt him, it was an accident, and that he has to give animals space and not touch their mouths or their food/toys etc. Ugh, I'm mad at myself for letting him out of my sight for the 20 seconds this took.

Don't blame yourself poopie! FWIW, Leela puts her hands in Cuddles' mouth all the time and actually pulls food out of it (gross) and I would never allow him to be around another kid unsupervised. I think that its pretty negligent of a dog-owner not to oversee and manage all contact with kids.

And holy hell, 1 puncture wound? That is f'ed up. The worst any dog should do is give a bit of a snap or a nip and not break skin. Cuddles has never even nipped anyone. He'll give the cats a warning snap, but he is not allowed to do that to Leela. We have trained him that he has to tolerate her and no matter what she does, if he snaps he gets a consequence (he has a timeout space that he has to go to that is safe to calm down- we are not cruel, we just remove him from the situation for 10 mins and he gets the message).

If it were me, I'd let him be tonight and then do what you are doing. I would focus on that it wasn't his fault and that this was one bad dog and that you are sorry it happened and it is an accident. Listen to his story and his fears, talk about it without a lot of drama, talk about accidents (they're no one's fault!), read books featuring puppies, drawing dogs and spend supervised time with someone with a safe dog and talk about dog safety (no pulling ears, stay away from dogs that aren't with their owners, no tail pulling, no petting any dog or going near unless mummy is there). I'm sure others will have better advice. I personally would not feel safe taking L back to anyone's home if they had a dog that wasn't safe with kids.

I am really sorry you had to go through that- it sounds very traumatizing for you and for poor Peter. Does the ER have to report the dog for biting a human? What is going to happen to the owners and the dog?

Sending you all lots of good and healing thoughts.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

Thanks, Tofulish. I still feel like it's my fault, but I know that's pointless. Honestly, the dog is older and has never so much as nipped before, so it surprised all of us. It goes without saying that I'll never take Peter over there again - I'm not sure I even want to go again. I don't think the owners will do anything about the dog, but I will make sure they tell everyone from now on that the dog can't be around kids because he's bitten before.

I actually got pretty pissed off (but didn't act on it) toward another party-attender who'd had a few drinks and said (loudly) to Peter after I'd finally calmed him down: "Well, that's why you don't stick your hands in a dog's mouth! I guess you won't ever do that again, will you?" and my poor baby's lip started quivering and he started sobbing again. Ooooh, I could have hurt someone at that point.

Aw Poopie. How sad and scary for Peter! E has had 2 run ins with cats scratching him, one of which was when he was about that age... And the big thing for him was talking about it. For a LONG time. We talked a lot about why animals bite/scratch-- the idea that animals can't talk with words and so need to talk with their bodies, and if they feel scared or upset etc, they might do something like that-- and that it doesn't mean that ALL cats scratch, or that cats usually scratch, and on and on.

(The second scratch was semi-recently from a cat who was being super friendly and then just scratched out of the blue. I didn't even know what the hell to tell him about that. We are STILL talking about it like four months later.)

Anyway, I hope Peter has a smooth recovery and isn't too freaked out about the whole thing. And I admire you for not putting a shiv in the person who was snotty to him.

I am also weirdly calm when things go bad, and I think you handled everything really well (including not tearing that idiot a new one), but that would make me so upset. You don't blame a kid while they are hurting!

I feel like if you have a dog, it is incumbent on you to keep him/her safe. I still remember the heartbreaking case of a two year old whose face was mauled by a golden retriever that he knew who had never bitten before. The are animals and get triggered by stuff we can't always predict. I love my dog and I have trained him to be non-reactive (his nature anyway) and I still wouldn't trust him with kids unsupervised. Especially at a party, and where he had a new bone because its just too overwhelming for a dog- all the new smells, sounds and needing to guard a treat. Seriously, this is on the hosts, not you.

I want to hug Peter and you. I'm so sorry this happened.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

C&S, cats are so weird! L gets scratched all the time by our guys. They put up with tail pulling etc, but sometimes its just too much or they think its a game and they swat her. She still goes back for more, and I'm not fussed anymore because they can't really hurt her like a dog could. I don't even think she thinks its a big deal- apart from the 2x she's been scratched in the face (1x by a friend's cat) she doesn't even cry. I just find scratch marks on her later.

When she gets hurt, I comfort her and I separate the cats from the situation for a bit. I don't feel like you can ever train reactiveness out of a cat- its basically their nature. If people come over with kids, the cats get locked away.

Also, my cat terrorized poor Choirqueer.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

Okay, I grew up with a psycho chihuahua dog, who bit everybody (or tried to) pretty regularly, except my mom and grandmother, so I am maybe coming at this from a different angle (the angle of someone who does not 100% trust dogs, no matter what the owners say). Our dog was pretty much at her most psycho when she had a bone and would come running out of the kitchen trying to kill you if you just walked by. It was worse if you made eye contact and don't even think about saying her name. WHO THE HELL GIVES A DOG A BONE WHEN THEY ARE HAVING GUESTS?!! I don't care how nice a dog is, bones make dogs crazy -- they think everybody is gettin' all up in their territory and wants to nick their bone, even though nobody really gives a shiitake. And, like Tofulish said, parties can make dogs more excitable, too, just with all the people and strange activity and smells and such.

poopiebitch wrote:

I actually got pretty pissed off (but didn't act on it) toward another party-attender who'd had a few drinks and said (loudly) to Peter after I'd finally calmed him down: "Well, that's why you don't stick your hands in a dog's mouth! I guess you won't ever do that again, will you?" and my poor baby's lip started quivering and he started sobbing again. Ooooh, I could have hurt someone at that point.

I'm sorry that happened to little Peter! I want to give you some great advice about avoiding doggie phobias but I have none. I was nipped as a child and refused to be around dogs until I was a teenager (and even then I was scared of them but didn't want everyone to SEE that I was). It really took me sitting down and playing with a number of nice pooches before I got over it (mostly - I still can't be comfortable with those little yappy snappers since that was the kind that bit me). I think if I had been reintroduced to some nice doggies as a child I would have gotten over it a lot quicker but I don't really know.

[quote="TheCrabbyCrafter" WHO THE HELL GIVES A DOG A BONE WHEN THEY ARE HAVING GUESTS?!! I don't care how nice a dog is, bones make dogs crazy -- [/quote]this.

looks like you handled it as well as can be handled. if it were me i'd follow tofulish's suggestion- read about dogs, talk about dogs, playing with puppy stuff and visit with dogs. i think if you expect he'll be traumatized he's more likely to be.

Poor Peter, I hope he is feeling better today. I think you did the right thing, poopie.

We survived the night nd it went well. We got up around 5:30 and have been dancing, eating and paying with trains. It's only 7:15... We are going to run errands as soon as things start opening, then nap, then babysitter (I'm so smart to plan a break for myself, haha). I also think this is almost easier without Nate here. I am being very productive, funny how we fall back into our old ways when our partner is gone.

I find that when husband's gone, I can get back on My Schedule much faster and stay on it better. In some ways I dread weekends sometimes because nap and sleep gets so messed up. I'm used to planning my day around naptimes and B isn't. I am dreading deployment in a lot of ways but parts of if will also be easier.

And poor Peter, I hope he's feeling better soon!! What an unfortunate situation.

Oh, I'm so glad I'm not the only one! We always get nap times screwed up on the weekends.

pb, I hope Peter's feeling better. I can't believe that person was such a jerk, saying those things. (sometimes I pacifism is hard, eh?)

Baby G was bitten by a dog when she was just turned 3, and even though she's lived with dogs her whole life, she still gets spooked (now age 5 1/2) when a dog is too close to her, even her own dogs. She's not petrified or anything, but the experience definitely changed her. She got bitten on the face too, so I think it was especially scary. Like c&s mentioned with E, I and her family spent LOTS of time recalling the incident, talking about how her dogs loved her, how to treat dogs, not to mess with their food, asking before you pet strange dogs, etc. etc. etc. (etc.!) Talking is the primary way of coping for many children, it seems. Over and over Baby G and Baby K would say "tell me about when I fell on the roundabout" or "remember when Milly (dog) got hit by the car" or "one time I fell on the stairs". Gradually, it seems that the retelling of the stories became less dramatic and more of a factual retelling, but not always. Anyway, I'm rambling as this is something that's long interested me about children. I hope that Peter's hand is healing well. Give him lots of extra hugs for us in the PPK.

Last night, Karl sits down to the kitchen table to draw with freya,while I make dinner. As I turn to give him the markers, I see that the bean has taken a knife that was on the table from earlier and us now sorta waving it around saying "cut! cut!" Oh my.

We've been filled with that toddler amazingness lately too. Plus, Freya is just really weird so that makes it even funnier. I thought about starting a thread here called something like "my freak baby", explaining about her obsession with buttcracks or thinking that the word "damn" is super hilarious or gosh, I can't think of any more now.