Chronic Pain & Life

Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful - you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.

~~Danielle Koepke~~

Do you have people in your life that are the "loving toxic" too? Like the quote says...they love us dearly but they're still toxic. It can be easy to remove ourselves from the "uncaring toxic"...but not so easy when the person involved is a loved one. Have you noticed this too? How do you handle it?

Some might tell you that you have to leave these people...again not easy to do when this person is a family member is it? No, it's not. So if we can't leave the family...how do we handle this?

I'm not the most religious person...more spiritual than anything...but I have thought and said this to myself.

It usually comes after I've been thinking of my loved ones past and I do believe they are watching and are near us. It brings me some level of comfort to know that I can talk to my Grandmom...my Buddy...and shortly after what I was talking about seems to resolve itself or I "know" the answer now.

It's odd how this happens. Some would put if off as coincidence...others would say it's divine intervention... but me? I just like to think that there is someone somewhere watching over me and looking out for me.

Today, we believe God wants you to know that it's time to start living in the present.

Letting go of the past is not easy, especially if you have wounds that have never properly healed. But, the past is past and living there may be preventing you from fully experiencing the present. Likewise fear of what may be looming around the corner can also prevent you from fully enjoying the present. Live in the moment.

Have you ever had one of those days when you just feel BLAH...there are so many other ways to describe it...but right now my brain isn't working well enough to come up with them...because as you see...that's how I'm feeling today...BLAH...

Have you ever had days like this?...it's not really a flare day and you're not really feeling any extra pain either...your thoughts are good and your emotions are smiling...but your brain and body just feels... ...BLAH...and yes I'm sticking my tongue out as I say it...BLAH...brain and body collide.

Have you ever felt like this too? It's an uncomfortable feeling isn't it? I find it hard to understand how I can feel so many things all at once and all of them are contradictory to each other. Make no wonder people living with chronic pain feel like they're going crazy some days and drives us further into the depression of our pain, chasing our rabbits down the hole.

When I first read this it made me cry actually. To give thought to the people I thought I needed, the ways I soothed and comforted my hurt...all the ways I hurt myself too when "comforting" myself. I remembered all the times I heard...

"If only you could"...

"If only you would"...

and all that fills the spaces in between...I remembered...the feelings of not being enough and the ways I ignored myself in the attempt to please others and to show them I'm worthy...like-able...dare I even say...love-able?

During my journey something snapped in me and things started to change. The tears came hard but it was a realization that I needed to come to....and then I I knew the truth.When I came across this I thought it said it better than I ever could.

It may hurt...and it may hurt a lot...but one day you will realize that the only person you have ever needed was YOU.Accept all that you are...and know that you only need your own approval...your own acceptance...and until you can give that to yourself...no one else can give it to you.

When I was in college we had an amazing nurse instructing us and I'll never forget the story she told of a patient being "bunged up".... you know ... constipated...although her story did include inserting an enema...but I won't go into that.When our diets consist of mainly unhealthy foods, our colons have a harder time doing what it does and our bodies in return pay the price for it....

bloating

gas

upset stomach

inflammation

digestion problems

are just a few things our bodies go through when we don't eat right.

Some people turn to over the counter aids like Rolaids, Tums, Zantac or the like...to help calm their bellies when really? changing some foods in our daily diets can do it healthier...it's a natural way to get regulated and stay that way.

There are many natural and alternative ways to keep our bodies "clean" or to "move things along" when we're bunged up....flax seeds are just one healthy and natural alternative...will you explore the others?

I ask these questions every weekend and this Friday is no different....

what will you do this weekend to soothe yourself?what will you do to live beyond your pain? will this weekend be the weekend you spend the time focusing on what you need to feel good instead of focusing on everyone else but you?

even if for only a little while...spend some time soothing your needs for a change...it's a feel good thing and you need this

have a great weekend and put a smile on your silly little heart will ya?Tammy