Mueller, the Real Story!

Patriot’s Heart has been investigating Mueller’s investigation into President Trump. Now that Mueller has finished, we can report what really happened.

Mueller was told to find the collusion with Russia by President Trump.

Mueller started drilling for collusion by President Trump with the Russians. After a month he found nothing. He was told to keep drilling. It is down there. It just has to be.

After three months and nothing, Mueller reported that. Rep. Maxine Waters told him to keep drilling. You must be so close. You can’t stop now. We must impeach 45!

After six months and nothing, Mueller again reported nothing found. Senator Schumer told him to keep drilling. You must be right on top of it. We just have to remove President Trump.

After 9 months of drilling and still nothing he reported nothing found. CNN told him to keep drilling. We have just got to have the greatest news story in our history.

After 12 months of hitting nothing, Mueller reported that it just doesn’t seem to be there. Rachel Maddow told Mueller that he just has to be so close. This is the story that will destroy Fox News. We must have that story!

After 15 months and nothing, Mueller wanted to finally quit drilling. Hillary Clinton told him to keep drilling. There is no way I could have lost to that idiot Trump. The Russians had to have helped Trump cheat. Cheating is what I do best. So I know a cheater when I see one and Trump is a cheater!

After 18 months and still nothing, Mueller was growing ever more frustrated. There isn’t anything to be found. The DNC told him to keep going. We must have the power to undo all the good that President Trump has done. We just can’t have happy prosperous Americans. We can’t win that way.

Finally, Mueller hit something. All were so happy that it just has to be the collusion they have been drilling and drilling for. The left wing media started to report that President Trump is guilty of collusion and treason. Then the truth came out.

What they had hit wasn’t collusion. They had just goosed old Mick Dundee! We all know you just can’t goose Crocodile Dundee and get away with it!