I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

I’m not sure where this statement originated but I’ve heard it many times and have even used it myself without considering what it really means. Dictionaries tell us that it refers to gift giving and that it isn’t really important how much a gift costs; the importance is found in the feeling or thought from the giver.

However, I’m not sure I totally agree with this idea. I do believe that cost is unimportant when it comes to gift-giving and that someone can give me a gift that is right from their heart. People spend way too much money on stuff they don’t need today and I certainly don’t like when someone spends a lot of money on me. Yet, when I get a gift from someone, how do I know how much thought is behind it. Unless someone shows me how they feel through their actions or words, I certainly can’t read their mind, so I obviously have no idea how they feel. Maybe they did think a lot about the gift or maybe they didn’t. People can easily pick up items without much thought or effort.

What we truly care about another person we need to express what we are feeling. Just assuming that they know we love and care for them is not enough. Our thoughts are just our thoughts and nobody will even know what is going on in our minds unless we express ourselves. Children especially need to be reminded of our love or they will not build confidence or see their value.

So next time you give someone a gift make sure they know how you feel. The thought doesn’t count – people do.

Many of us spend our entire lives trying to impress other people. We spend money on things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like or even know. We want to look good so we can be well received by others at work, school or anywhere we go in the community. There is certainly nothing wrong with wanting to do good job and get positive feedback from other people but when we place our value on what other people think, we are never going to feel good about ourselves. Trying to impress others is giving our power to them and will ultimately lead to stress and frustration.

Our value does NOT come from what we have or what we do. Our value comes from who we are! Getting validation or acknowledgment from others is nice but this should never replace how we feel about ourselves. Instead of wasting time and energy trying to impress others, we should be trying to impress ourselves. This means we should just try to be a better person than we were yesterday. Be authentic to yourself and work on improving your character and building confidence. When you accomplish something, give yourself a big pat on the back and tell yourself what a great job you did. Don’t wait for others make you feel valuable – do it yourself! You are worth it!