KLAN OFFERS TO SPONSOR IMUS SHOW

Stollburg, SC — The Ku Klux Klan has offered to sponsor Don Imus’s TV and radio broadcasts, after many of his previous sponsors have pulled out following his racist remarks concerning the Rutger’s women basketball team.

Klan Imperial Wizard, Kenneth K. Klemm, made the offer today from his trailer home in this rural South Carolina town.

” We are surprised at the reaction to Mr. Imus’s innocent remarks. He was simply expressing what we all know as fact.” said Klemm, “The cowardly sponsors who pulled out were reacting to a small majority, mostly from up north who think they speak for everyone, even the Confederacy.” said Klemm, as hooded supporters gave high-fives and shouted, ” Ho,Ho!”

CBS account executive, Fred Perry, was cautious. “They made a nice offer, but we insist that they put some blacks, Jews, Arabs, and Mexicans in their spot, before we make a final decision.”

Klemm responded, grinning, “Yeh, we can do that, but we’ll need rope, crosses and kerosene, and Imus will have to trade in his stupid cowboy hat for a hood.”

The assembled Klansmen gave rebel yells of approval as they dispersed to resume gathering aluminum cans from the roadside in order to raise funds for their proposed advertising campaign.

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.