Here is the draft for my entry for the Cliche Con '19. I would appreciate some feedback. This also happens to be the first 'serious' draft that I've finished for an article.

There is a hidden collapsible at the very bottom. Highlight the page to see it.

I wanted to write an SCP that wasn't just a containment log, but rather told a story about the happenings in the Foundation, and how the changes within the foundation over the long years it had existed ultimately introduced unforeseen problems.

There's a lot of ambition here, but my main problem with it is that it is way too long, and way too muddled to get through. Here are some key points:

The second paragraph of the description needs to be moved down later to preserve the flow.

This sentence:

Entrances to SCP-XXXX is capable of materializing in multiple locations simultaneously in the form of a passenger train with the doors leading to the interior of the train leading to the same space.

Took me five read-throughs to figure out what you meant by it.

The interview's dialog tags are unncessarily complex; just "Absko" and "Thabiti" would suffice after the first two.

The bit about the Amistar Massacre doesn't sit right with me; while the rest of the things have a theme of setting things in motion to be congruent with actual history, that one rewrites history entirely, since Col. Dyer didn't die until 1927, and you have him killed in 1919 under entirely fictional circumstances. Considering that Dyer's actions as the Butcher of Amistar helped India free itself from Britain, this seems to imply that the Silent Crusade's intent would be to make it so that India is still under British rule. If that is their intent, it's not made clear up until that point.

The crosslink to 3241 is offputting, because that's another long SCP I need to read in order to get the full context for this.

I like the overall idea, but not the execution. There'es a lot of extraneous information in here, and the way it's presented makes it intimidating to read— if I were you, I'd do some ListPages magic(it's easier than you think it might be) and isolate large chunks of it and put it on different fragment pages— you can submit it all as one thing for the contest.

Then tehre are some things that just bug me— Why did the Silent Crusade change history to be a different version from what it actually is? And in the ending section, I feel like the intent is for me to sympathize with the squire, but I just… can't, because the document kind of has a fanatical bent to it, and the O5s have a good point; messing with time, especially recent history, isn't a great idea.

For instance, if the Chernobyl Disaster never happened, more people would be alive and Pripyat would he habitable, but we also wouldn't have safer nuclear reactors and stricter regulations on nuclear energy, and a disaster of that scale, or something greater, would have happened later on.