What once ensured that I sat at a table next to the teacher is now posted, Monday through Friday.

I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Now With More Bone! or Tora! Tora! Tora!

A re-post from 2012, while I struggle under the weight of expectations...

I have long suspected that I am special.

The freckles, of course, were my first clue.

“Angel kisses,” Grandma said, generously.

“Wait’ll they get wet,” Kevin would hiss into my ear. “If they get wet and you scratch ‘em, they’ll stink.”

Then there’s my ability to burn myself with a curling iron, something I do at least three times a year. And of course there’s my uncanny knack insofar as eyeballing teaspoons and tablespoons without actually owning a set myself.

And yes, whatever I’ve just cooked is supposed to taste that way.

All of this special-ness adds up to one thing: not being surprised when the dental hygienist mentioned the tora in my mouth.

Wait,I have that bony thing down the middle and I always am hurting the inside of my mouth....you mean that's weird? Why come my hygienist knows nothing about torahs? Completely beside the point, but one of my children has a geographic tongue. Does that mean it's been places?