Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Insert Coin: Street Fighter 2

Street Fighter 2 is one of the top five games of all time to me. I first played it at a bowling alley. I had a bowling class (yeah, that happened) and didn’t give a damn about bowling. I just knew they had an arcade and Street Fighter 2 was there. When I first started playing my favorite character was E. Honda because of his Hundred Hand Slap. People liked to use Dhalsim, since he stretched but that shit didn’t work against Honda.

"Damned handicap parking!"

Eventually my joy moved over to Ryu. Oh, he is my shit! I’m known for “Hadoken-ing” the shit out of people. Yeah, I’m that guy. Why bloody my knuckles when I can launch magic fireballs at someone? He is the best all around player in the game. He’s strong, fast, and can do a great dropkick/trip combo which always pissed people off. I didn’t care. Have an issue? Here. Hadoken!!!Ken was just a faster version of Ryu with lame ass hair. I never understood why people chose Ken over Ryu to play with. That’s like drinking Diet Coke when a big delicious can of Coke is right next to it.

"I can do this all day..."

One of the worst characters to fight was Guile. This fucker would launch Sonic Boom’s like he got them on sale. If you used him there was a three second window in which you had to hold down the back button and then press forward and punch. But not if you were the computer. This sumbitch was like “S-S-S-S-Sonic Boom!” Best way to beat him and shame his punk ass? Beat him with M. Bison (aka Vega in Japan) the guy who killed his friend. There is nothing better than whipping some flat-top’d ass with a healthy flying foot stomp followed by a Psycho Crasher.

What ya mama say?! Stomp!

The fighters in this game were from all around the world. Pretty ass Vega from Spain. Lame Balrog from Las Vegas. Ginourmos Zangiff from Russia…or USSR. Whatever. Then there was Blanka. A green monster man that is from Brazil. I don’t know what Brazil is actually like but I can only assume that from watching Fast 5, City Of God, and playing this game that it is a terrifying ass place!

They call this "Wednesday" in Brazil.

Another cool thing about Street Fighter 2? Cosplay! People dress like the characters from the game. Like Chun Li. Mmm. Chicks be dressing like her and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Ever. If you Goggle her name with the word cosplay and you will see some great examples and some fucking terrible ones of Chun Li in real life. I have said that my obsession with big thighs came from her. I will not blame you for touching yourself now. Seriously. I doubt she would mind. Chicks love when you touch themselves to pictures of them. Especially when you let them know.