TheCrunchyBrit- Awwwww how sweet would a little sister be for BabyBoyBrit!! But you're right either way would be absolutely adorable. A brother close in age is so sweet for boys, too.

It is a good thing you'll have these 2 months to really get a handle on your chart and trends. I have read a lot about gender swaying. I know the diet doesn't sound fun! Hmmmm....I think if you can target your O date, and it is fairly consistent, then I would imagine BDing 5,4,3,and maybe even 2 days before it should work! But abstain the day before, day of, and day after just in case. I am pretty sure it isn't THAt easy of course or everyone would have their choice! But fun to try anyway! I will look forward to celebrating a baby girl for you and your family (hopefully), or a healthy baby boy....soon!! :-)

AFM- I am 12 dpo and took a FMU test this AM and got BFN. Uggghhhhh....but I will try again tomorrow!! Last night I went to a girls night in (played games and brought food over to a friends house) and I had been running errands all afternoon and really had to pee. So I am standing in the grocery store picking up a fruit tray, realizing I hadn't gone pee in like 5 hours!! And I ran over to the feminine products section and compulsively almost paid $12 for a silly test to take in the store bathroom...even though I had 4 of them at home that I paid less than $1.00 for...I was just like a crazy crack head needing a POAS fix!! I talked myself off the ledge and calmly paid for my fruit tray, then I waited until this morning and tested with FMU and got a BFN......so of course I am SO glad I didn't waste money because I had a temporary lapse of sanity!

Oh wengrin - been there before! Its hard not to test constantly when you so want it.

Interestingly enough, I got the links to the gender swaying site from posting about the Shettles/timing before O method not working. Inadvertently, we were the perfect example of using the Shettles method to get a girl when we got DS!

We never tried for either gender when we were TTC DS but the month we conceived, we BDed a whole 5 days before I ovulated. The next day, DH picked up a nasty sports injury so BDing for the rest of the month was totally out of the question. Being 5 days before O I wrote off that month but of course, 2 weeks later I got my BFP. Everyone, especially me, was convinced DS would be the first girl because we all thought there's no way boy sperm could survive a 5 day wait for an egg but DS proves they certainly did!

Apparently when Shettles stated that boy sperm were smaller, faster and died quickly than the big, slow girl sperm he was totally wrong. What he was actually looking at were sperm that were small and fast because they'd shed their protective 'cap' and were ready to fertilize an egg and sperm that were big and slow because they still had their cap on so weren't ready to fight for that egg yet. It is impossible to see the difference between X and Y sperm with a microscope.

The diet idea comes from a study showing that other female mammals can sway the gender of their children based on their condition. Females in poorer conditions will 'choose' girl sperm to fertilize their eggs because having a girl is a less risky strategy for making grandchildren in poor environments than boys - ie. only the fittest, strongest males breed but all females tend to breed no matter what their circumstances in the wild. Hence the 'low calorie, low everything' diet is used to induce a poorer condition in the mother and therefore make her more favourable to girls. Well, that's the theory anyway....

Here's a link to get you started. They have methods for swaying for both girls and boys but even though I'm going to give it a good go, I'm not to hopeful of outwitting our strong boy gene history! My mum always says though 'a tribe of boys is so much fun'! (She should know, she got 4)

That is so interesting about the Shettles debunking. How amazing that even 5 days before you ovulated your hubbies super-sperm managed to swim and make a baby boy!! Boys really are fun....much less maintenance. But of course girls are so special. I would love for you to have that experience of mothering a girl because it is totally different. Especially when they are grown. Ever notice how grandmothers always seem to favor and are more close to their daughter's children than the sons? I know that is a stereotype. But it sure fits my DH's family as well as my ex husband's...and lots of my friends. A girl is yours forever but boys grow up and tend to be more independent.

You have obviously researched the diet study well. Makes sense!! Not fun....but hey, if you are skinny as a result from it, that never hurts. I'm all for living the body that God gave us, but I sure enjoyed being tall and thin in my late 20's early 30's. I also conceived a girl during that very low-calorie, super thin time of my life. Hmmmm....and I remember specifically that my ex husband and I DTD on my O date. So that would also debunk Shettles! Very interesting.....you are obviously a researcher and a smart cookie- TheCrunchyBrit.

Cheers everyone- hope you are all having a great weekend.

By the way- DS is weaning beautifully!! No tears at all...he has taken to it so easily. I really spent a lot of time talking to him about it beforehand. I guess that helped! He has asked a couple of times to nurse and I remind him, and he says "oh okay" and snuggles up next to my chest and falls asleep! Last night he kissed the side of my boob and said "bye-bye". I almost cried...had to fight tears to be strong for him and let him know this is a healthy and good thing. Still it breaks my heart that I will never nurse him again or see that sweet milk-coma look on his face while we are nuzzled up to one another. But we can just enjoy snuggling now....he is on his way to being a big boy!! :-)

TCB - If i understand correctly, the low-calorie diet must be low enough to trigger your body to interpret the environment as a time of scarcity. This means you'd have to feed yourself less than your body needs (a caloric deficit, aka a negative energy imbalance). While I doubt there has been experimentation on the gender theory, there has been a good deal of research on infertility and calorie deficits. A negative energy imbalance disrupts normal LH pulsatility, which negatively affects ovulation.

Are there specific guidelines for caloric intake on the gender selection diet? If so, we could compare them to the very specific calorie levels (according to ones individual lean body mass and individual energy expenditure) shown to disrupt fertility.

If i had to guess I would surmise that trying this method is more likely to result in no baby than a girl baby.

(If you look up Anne Louke's research or my posts from March there's more detail. You don't have to be really skinny for this to be a concern.)

Married to my favorite man in '07. Our firstborn came along in April 2012 (HBC), and our second is on the way, due sometime in May 2014 (planning an HBAC).

Im in shock.... I will say the best cure for the dreaded 2 week wait is to go camping, no Internet, no phone, no thermometer (it was cold & I knew it would throw my temps off). Got home today & tested first thing.
And, after never having a positive OPK...! I'm even more shocked. Now, I'm debating on continuing to temp vs. letting it go. I know myself, if I see one low temp I'll worry....praying for a healthy, sticky bean.
Fingers crossed for you too wengrin.

Sierra, wife to DH , Mama to DD (2012) and DS(2014). In love with my family and hoping for inner .

AFM Today was rough day. Both of my older sister-in-laws are pregnant and due this winter only 1 week apart! Naturally any time spent with them is all about being pregnant which is fine. I love sharing in their excitement and I'm so happy for each of them. It just get old when they all ask every time we see each other (doesn't matter if it's been 2 days or 2 weeks) if we're pregnant yet. I've been wanting my cycle back for months, finally have it, and now no sticky baby yet. Seriously not cool.

Jesus lover, World's luckiest wife for the last 6 years, and Blessed beyond measure to be mom to three energetic little guys 5, 3.5, & 2 + our new little princess!

Oh my goodness SierraMtnGirl!!! That is wonderful news!!!!! What a nice surprise to greet you when you got home! That is a big fat positive. I have read those tests (Answer) pick up higher levels of HCG so you are good and knocked up!! Happy for you :-) Praying for a sticky bean and a healthy and smooth 8 months!

Hugs Berrypavlova...I know that must drive you nuts. It is so hard....people don't realize that by repeatedly asking they are putting a big weight on your shoulders.

Well I am definitely out- The witch has arrived :-(

This morning I took my temp and it had fallen over 1 whole degree...way low. And flow is heavy enough I know it isn't spotting. So no sense wasting a FRER.....I will just start over and try again!

I wanted to do a little more digging into this issue of gender selection by maternal diet. It looks like this is a reasonably well-established phenomenon in other animal studies, at least that it happens but not necessarily the mechanism by which it does. Here is a summary of the paper that established the link in humans for the first time: http://biosciences.exeter.ac.uk/news/research/title_626_en.html The conclusions here are absolutely interesting, but it's a *first* paper to establish this connection. Much like many other first papers, it has a really poor design. Moms in the middle of their pregnancy were asked to try and recall their diets around the time of conception. It is extremely hard for people to do this. Even if they recalled perfectly, the result was very slight - about a 5% difference in likelihood for a girl in a low-calorie context. They also found some associations with cereal and bananas, which I'm guessing are spurious correlations as a result of running lots of tests and coming up with false positives (very common in this type of early work). Indeed, a published rebuttal of the paper posits the same: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18430648

Whoa...I just downloaded and read the actual paper. The calorie levels in their study are *not* very low. The average kcal intake for the female group (estimated retrospectively) is 2283, versus 2413 for the male group. For most women, this wouldn't even be diet-level calories. When I was trying to slowly *gain* muscle without gaining too much fat this winter, and nursing, I was at 2350kcals (5'8", bodyfat percentage at 26%, measured by a bod pod scan). I was actually at a deficit at that point, and needed to consume more calories *just to become fertile*. So going on a caloric deficit (a diet), is probably overkill according to this gender selection study, and couple be quite harmful.

This is ridiculously interesting to me. Thanks for sparking the conversation! (Sorry I kind of went crazy on it.)

Married to my favorite man in '07. Our firstborn came along in April 2012 (HBC), and our second is on the way, due sometime in May 2014 (planning an HBAC).

Missmagoo- I hope your temp goes back up. I have heard you can have a temp dip around 7-10 dpo because of implantation (but it is more of a myth they say than a fact). I have seen it though with friends so don't lose out hope. And if the witch arrives....then there is always next cycle. I am almost glad when it comes so I know I can move forward. It stinks when I am late and it lingers on....

I actually am wondering if I have had another chemical because I was 3 days late and kept seeing the faintest of a line (although I could have been imagining or wishful thinking). But this cycle has been soooo crampy and I have had clots like my last miscarriage/chemical whatever. It is actually more cramping this time than last. Which is odd..:anyway just moving forward.

I went ahead and scheduled a consult with my OB /GYN. He is a high risk specialist and fertility as well. Insurance won't cover treatments. (IUI/IVF) but at least he can give me a game plan. I really feel like weaning is going to make a big difference. (Hopefully )

If we don't get pregnant in the next few months then I will likely take a break. This is rough and it seems my marriage has been strained ( maybe other factors) but the stress of ttc might be affecting it, too. Who knows.

I hope everyone is doing well and congrats again SierraMtnGirl!! Obviously unplugging and relaxing works!!!!

Well, I'm out. I had two more days of low temps, and AF arrived this morning. In some ways, I'm actually relieved. DD is only 16 months, but I felt pressure to TTC because of my teaching schedule (not wanting our kids to be as far apart as three years, so we started trying so they would be only two years apart), but I honestly did not feel totally ready. I feel like I am just starting to get bits of myself back: not pumping at work this year is so freeing, DD does not nurse at night anymore, just being more comfortable with her at daycare for half days, and just nursing less. I think I'm scared that if I don't just right back on the baby train I'm not going to want to go through it all again, even though I know I want at least one more child.

So, while I am sad (and nervous that TTC will be hard for us next time), I also think it is for the best. DD will get more time to be my baby, and I can enjoy a few months of having a little more freedom before we start it all over again.

We'll probably wait until January to start talking about it again. Hopefully all you mamas won't be around here then because you'll be pg!!

Congrats, sierramtngirl! I am sure you still can't believe it!
We are on a 2WW!
My opk was actually at it's darkest last night, and we dtd yesterday afternoon and the night before that... He is on shift (24 on 48 off-type) today, so I think one more time tomorrow during ydd's nap should be a great effort for this month.
I do have a Dr appt coming up since it has been 6 months, so I am hopeful either way.
I haven't been temping or anything, but I did night wean my 2 year old ydd about a week ago, so maybe this dramatic change will be what helps stretch that luteal phase out.... We will see.

Hi ladies, turns out I'm back to join you. I started bleeding last night and went to an ultrasound this morning. It was confirmed that the pregnancy wasn't viable. I'm waiting for the miscarriage to happen now, I guess. I'm sure glad I have my nursing babe to carry me through...

So, please move me to waiting to be ready.

"Well behaved women seldom make history." Laurel Ulrich To make my mark I , among other things, and try to live a sustainable, natural life. My brood includes DD1, DS1 2 and 3, and expecting another in Aug 2014.

Aww Piratemere.....my heart goes out to you. I had a chemical last month. I hope you have some support around you and yes hug into your little nursing!

I also wanted to tell Jenandadee I actually got a UTI/bladder infection before I knew I was pregnant with my son. So maybe it is a good sign?? I know all the baby dancing and then holding on to the "goods" for a while is not good for our urinary tract.

Sorry to hear that, piratemere. How comforting for you to still have a little nurser to keep you company while you get back on your feet and prepare yourself for another one. Hugs.
Wengrin, that sounds fine with me;).
Won't know for two weeks or sooner if AF shows up early...but we certainly did give it our best this month. I felt a little better

Missmagoo- sounds like you are at peace with the fact that you didn't conceive this go-round. I hope you enjoy your ttc hiatus. There is certainly something to be said for relaxing and not obsessing about it. I have mentally checked out for the last week and just this short amount of time has been really, really nice.

I think for me, because I have anxiety and tend to fixate on things....when I am actively ttc it can become not fun anymore. I know my DH is feeling the pressure. I just kept feeling like- if not now, then will I be too old?? I felt like my egg quality was going down with every cycle. So I'm just going to try and relax and see what happens. If it is in God's plan for me, then it will happen. (I hope I don't offend anyone who has other beliefs. That is just mine)

I hope everyone has had a relaxing weekend.

I have been thinking about you, Piratemere....I sort of know what you are experiencing. I am sorry :-( Take care

I am around O time but can't determine if it is happening, happened, or about to happen. I only chart and temp....no ov predictor strips so far. Thought about ordering some. Has anyone had good results using them?

Wengrin I'm in the same boat. It doesn't help either that I fell asleep on the couch last night and overslept so I couldn't get a valid temp. (Thermometer was too far away). If this month doesn't work out I may try the strips next month. GL!

AFM does anyone else stop checking CM when TTC? I'm worried checking around O I could dislodge some fertile CM that is needed or semen. Am I crazy? lol TIA for the shared insight!

Jesus lover, World's luckiest wife for the last 6 years, and Blessed beyond measure to be mom to three energetic little guys 5, 3.5, & 2 + our new little princess!

BerryPavlova- yes I am weary about poking around up there...but I do check my cervix. I have CM at the outer area when I wipe....so I go by that. But when I reach up to check CP I try to ease in and out just to see if high and soft or closed again...just to confirm I O'd.

Thanks Ladies...

Yes Jenandadee pls let me know how they worked! I will try them next month if this try doesn't work.

Can you add me to Waiting to be Ready? I'll post a full intro and a strange "coincidental" conversation and I had the other night when the new thread is started, or next Wednesday, whatever comes first.

Okay, I have a smidgen of time, so I'm going to go ahead and post that intro now, and might copy it into the new thread as well, whenever that happens. I'll pick up personals from here and try to start getting to know people.

I've been on Mothering for a long time now. I got on here back when I first started charting, back when I got off the pill in anticipation of TTCing for our first. Came and went over the years, but usually been somewhat active. In the past couple of years, I mostly kept to the TTC and Pregnancy After Loss groups, but I'm feeling ready to join a "real" TTC group. DH and I have tentative plans to TTC in November. Since it's still September, I'm all, "Yeah, we're going to TTC in a couple of months." But then when October hits, I'll be all, "AAAAHHH!!! We're going to TTC NEXT MONTH!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

It could all be a moot point, though, since DS3 is going to be 9 months tomorrow and my cycles are still MIA. They came back at 7 and 7.5 months with DD and DS1. Neither of those babies had any solids until after my cycles returned, but both were sleeping through the night at a crazy early age (3 weeks for DD and 6 weeks for DS1). DD started waking again from 7-10 months to eat at night, but she just needed a little extra food at that time, so I obliged, and then she stopped on her own again. Current baby DS, though, still wakes once a night, anywhere from 11:00 to 6:00, to eat. So I'm pretty sure that it's the nighttime nursing that's keeping my cycles away this time.

The odd thing, though, is that when my cycles came back with the other two, I had AWFUL nipple pain (even while not nursing) right around that first postpartum ovulation. AF came about a week and a half after that nipple pain, both times. When I got the nipple pain THIS time (a couple of times in July and then again, more significantly, in late August), I thought for sure that AF was going to be right around the corner, like she was the previous times. But, nothing happened. I've also had a day or two here and there with fertile-quality CM, so I took note of that and then thought AF might come after that, but again, nothing. I've been wearing some of my mama cloth for almost a month straight now since I don't want to be caught unawares while I'm away from the house.

Anyway. As each day passed, and as November started to loom closer, I started wondering to myself if it would be possible to catch the first postpartum egg this time. It hadn't been an option in the past because I wanted to delay a pregnancy to make sure that my current baby could get milk until a minimum age, and I'd heard that women dry up during pregnancy. I managed to nurse through my third pregnancy, though, and found out that the super-painful part was only a week or two for me. Extenuating circumstances and mother-baby separation weaned DS1, though. But, with November so close now, it's starting to look more and more like I might be able to try and catch the first egg.

I didn't share this with DH. I shared on a few small online groups, but not with DH, which makes what he said to me the other night so weird and "coincidental." He kept noticing that I continued on my mama cloth regime, and the other night, he asked me if it were possible to get pregnant without me having a period. (He didn't use those exact words, but that was his meaning). So funny that for the first time in my fertile life, I've been thinking it could apply to me, and then DH just brings it up to me "out of the blue" lol. So I wonder if it "means" anything.

Anyway, that's the latest with me. Looking forward to being a cheerleader for October and then a participant in November!