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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

A Real Chuck Norris Fact

Like Uberbrian, I think that the whole "Chuck Norris Facts" thing has gone a little too far. You know an internet joke/pop-culture game has gone too far when it gets an article in the oh so topical Los Angeles Times. But unlike Uberbrian, I refuse to hide my legitimate love of things Chuck Norris. I just watched The Octagon dammit and I will be vindicated!

So in the spirit of genuine, rather than hipster poseur, Chuck Norris fandom, I announce the first real Chuck Norris fact. It appears that the ultra-action star has found a way to prolong his status as action hero into the infinite. It began with his "writing" of the official version of how he himself became so legendary. Chuck Norris fans proudly own this book in their bookselves, right between Shatner's Star Trek Memories and Heidegger's Being and Time.

No true Chuck fan can be without their first edition copy of Against All Odds. By the way, I am not kidding.

Following his memoir, Chuck seems to have acquired the writing bug. After all, as a literary character Chuck (or his literary counterpart) can live heroically into perpetuity. So Chuck fans need to rush out and buy The Justice Riders written by Ken Abraham, Aaron Norris, Tim Grayem, and Chuck Norris. With four authors and 295 pages, you know this is the great American novel.

Ezra Justice's orders from General Sherman are simple. Form a small, elite team of soldiers and make things difficult for the Confederacy. If caught, no one will claim knowledge of Justice, his men, or their orders. The Justice Riders are off and disrupting the Confederate's supply lines as best they can. But the team attracts the attention of Mordecai Slate and his "Death Raiders," and the battle becomes a far more personal one.