The Hands-Free Orgasm: It's Real

We're all about orgasms, so when we heard theres a chance you can have an O by using your mind, well we were all over it. Sex therapist Tanja Diamond, author of Beyond Sex: Tantra, clues us in on deets of the hands-free orgasm and how to

These hand-free orgasms can be just like the other ones you have—sometimes they'll be just a tiny thrill, while other times you'll get the volcanic eruption and everything in between.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

2 of 6

You Have to Practice…

You can't achieve anything without practice—hands-free orgasms included. Carve out some me time—say 10 minutes a day—to focus on your own pleasure.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

3 of 6

Once you've scheduled some "O" time, find a non-distracting place to calm your mind and concentrate. Bring all of your mental focus to your vagina (it'll help stimulate blood flow down there).

Can't seem to focus? Do a few Kegel exercises until you feel connected with your sexual center. Eventually, you won't need to do the Kegels—your body will automatically focus as soon as you start. That's why the practice is so important.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

4 of 6

After you've focused, add deep abdominal breaths that expand your belly and open your pelvis up to energy and blood flow. Inhale through your nose and focus your mind on your clitoris, vaginal canal, and perineum (the spot between your vagina and anus). Fill your body up with breath—like a water balloon expanding all the way down. You should start to feel warmth and some pleasurable feelings.

Relax into the breathing, and go deeper and deeper—the more relaxed and focused you are, the better.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

5 of 6

Once you're in the right frame of mind, think about your best orgasm ever. Soon, you'll start feeling the tingly pleasure sensations rising up through your body. They may seem disappointingly tiny at first, but they'll get bigger and stronger with more practice.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

6 of 6

Keep Trying

Yeah, it's not going to happen overnight. But so much of orgasming is mental, which has a big part in the hands-free option. Eventually, you won't need to remember your best O ever. Instead, you'll be able to focus on what is happening in the now as you breathe, focus, and relax. With time, this should allow you to have an orgasm any time, anywhere with the right frame of mind and deep breathing.