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The same reason I despise Ellen. I would never trust someone who comes off as "too good". Without any apparent character flaws (being gay is not a character flaw, sorry republicans) I feel like they are hiding something or even worse the fall into the "do as I say, not as I do" category. I've met a few in my life like that and I distance myself from them ASAP.

This is not gunna end well. (but I am going to take this thread at face value)

...but I don't buy the whole "man born in a woman's body/vice versa" argument for sex change.

That doesn't mean I don't support rights, and if you want to have a sex change then more power to you. Logically it just sounds absurd to me to use THAT specific argument since gender identity is almost exclusive nurture...not nature.

(on that topic I don't really believe being gay is genetic either.....however that doesn't make it a "choice".)

man... i never thought i would say this but... even though i'm going to jerk off in a minute or two since i'm feeling horny right now but damn i need some ass.

i'm contemplating on having a hookup. i've been browsing okcupid and pof and all the hotties have me seriously thinking about just saying fuck it, i want to come out so i can start going on a manhunt. the only thing that has me kind of scared is if i end up with a damn top which wants me to be the fucking bottom. like i haven't started loosening up my anal cavity yet, ya dig? i just want a guy i can get horny with for the moment. i was about to actually write in the connections for a hook up.

with that said, i'm going to to keep these horny feelings in check. if i'm going to get so action when i'm in the closet, i want to do so with another guy that is also closeted where we have an understanding. i actually want to fuck someone who's around my age range though.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

My pussy woke me as she is a nocturnal attention whore (I leave the bedroom door open a crack so my pets can sneak in at night) and I can't fall back asleep, so I'm in the guest bedroom. My Sammy is happy I'm in bed with him but this silly arrangement needs alterations as I am only so malleable in compromise.

i think i have a rape fantasy because i want a guy to creep up on me from behind, throw me in a chokehold, force me onto the ground, tear my clothes off and fuck me into submission. while fucking me, i would love it if he was kissing on my ear, my cheek or my neck and feel him breathing on me. i want to feel violated. i would also like for him to skeet all over my asshole or all over my face. oh yeah.. handcuffs too and ducktape over my mouth for extra pleasure.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

I am spending $350 on a PS3 which I thought would piss off my BF. I told him that thinking he is gonna be upset. Turns out, hes going out today to buy a new bike for $1600. I sense our vacation to Napa for my B-day will be an interesting experience next month.

trill talk, i get so sad sometimes being in my room that i sometimes feel going on a drinking/drug binge or killing myself. whenever i get like that, i pretty much try to snap some sense into me. i'm really trying hard not to wind up at a shrink and end up on pills. i'm really trying my hardest yo.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

in the past 24 hours, i've jerked off to the same autofellatio clip three times over. that guy that is sucking himself off. oh damn... i love when i see his tounge push against his cheek when he rings his tounge around his dick. i feel so good right now jerking off to that. when i was about to bust my nut, i felt my face getting hot and then when i busted a nut, i felt a tingling ticklish sensation all over my body. i still feel it a bit now but oh damn... i am smiling hard as hell right now. i wonder if sex feels the same way or even better.

but yeah.. anybody that wants to see that clip. i'll toss you a link. i think i need to switch up next time though.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

in the past 24 hours, i've jerked off to the same autofellatio clip three times over. that guy that is sucking himself off. oh damn... i love when i see his tounge push against his cheek when he rings his tounge around his dick. i feel so good right now jerking off to that. when i was about to bust my nut, i felt my face getting hot and then when i busted a nut, i felt a tingling ticklish sensation all over my body. i still feel it a bit now but oh damn... i am smiling hard as hell right now. i wonder if sex feels the same way or even better.

but yeah.. anybody that wants to see that clip. i'll toss you a link. i think i need to switch up next time though.

I'm dreadfully bored that my BF as out at work every weekend and I play house lord in suburbia. I feel like a matron because I want to tell my BF to quit his second job to spend time with me but I also know it gives him some extra disposable income. How I long for my city apartment again. It least felt special when we would meet up on Sundays for a light lunch and a stroll through Boston.

How auto-fellatio appeals greatly to the viewer is something I don't understand. Perhaps some of you can enlighten me as to why it's such a turn on.

I will occasionally partake in an auto-fellatio session, but not because the thought of the act is arousing, but because the feeling is. I'm gay, and therefore I enjoy the feeling of a cock, whether it's mine or not, sliding between my lips. I enjoy licking and sucking it - because it feels good.

However, I don't understand the appeal of watching one man do it by himself rather than two individuals partaking in oral sex together. Personally, I find the thought of one man being excited and enticed by the other more arousing, because there is that level of interaction or connection. You get to see the lips sliding up and down the cock just the same, but you also get to see his hands caressing his partner, to hear the unrestricted moans of his partner, and to see both of their bodies on total display rather than a single man balled up like a pretzel straining to get as far down his own shaft as possible.

Is the fact that I am able to do it myself detracting from the possible arousal of seeing another do it? Is the "I wish I could do that" mentality part of the appeal? I honestly don't understand why it's so great.

he looks some dude in the army around his early or mid 30s (could be wrong about his age), average build, with an average sized dick, that basically put his arms underneath his legs and started sucking himself dry. i'm about to post a link.

How auto-fellatio appeals greatly to the viewer is something I don't understand. Perhaps some of you can enlighten me as to why it's such a turn on.

I will occasionally partake in an auto-fellatio session, but not because the thought of the act is arousing, but because the feeling is. I'm gay, and therefore I enjoy the feeling of a cock, whether it's mine or not, sliding between my lips. I enjoy licking and sucking it - because it feels good.

However, I don't understand the appeal of watching one man do it by himself rather than two individuals partaking in oral sex together. Personally, I find the thought of one man being excited and enticed by the other more arousing, because there is that level of interaction or connection. You get to see the lips sliding up and down the cock just the same, but you also get to see his hands caressing his partner, to hear the unrestricted moans of his partner, and to see both of their bodies on total display rather than a single man balled up like a pretzel straining to get as far down his own shaft as possible.

Is the fact that I am able to do it myself detracting from the possible arousal of seeing another do it? Is the "I wish I could do that" mentality part of the appeal? I honestly don't understand why it's so great.

the next time you do it, if you have a webcam, can you please do it live so i can jerk off to you? j/k but if you want to.. let me know.

but as for your question. it's just one of those things that i've heard about but never seen done so when i saw a video with a dude getting down with himself like that. i was like dayum. i think the best part is watching him basically him controlling his own bj. he's basically pleasuring himself at his pace. it's different than watching someone give a blowjob. you don't know if the person giving or receiving it is enjoying it but you know that guy is really enjoying his own bj. just talking about it is getting me hard. i want to jerk off to that again but i'll do that before i go to work tomorrow.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

i will be the first gay president of the united states and my boyfriend or husband will be the first husband. i am a part of the illuminati network. it would be best to befriend me than to be my enemy because i have power to get you dealt with. there's some very powerful people that watch over me. in fact, they're watching me right now. i have those mutant genes.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

watching the bad girls club and boy is this sad. this is what happens when people do not use their freedom constructively. you end up exploiting yourself on a reality show where you sign a contract in which you authorize them to control your life during and after the show and blacklist you from profitting off of it in the process. these dumb ass women are busy dancing around, acting like sex workers to sex workers and are only getting compensated 2,000 dollars in the process of the whole entire production and publicity that will give them a bad reputation for 15 minutes. sad.

and to think that i wanted to be a part of the real world. about 2 years ago, i signed up to join the real world. i sent two emails so i got disqualified. the contract really is that bad yo. you basically are a slave to the production company and get compensated 5,000 dollars. if i would have made it, my black ass would have been a part of that bullshit ass las vegas season. that season was terrible anyway. the only thing worth talking about was dustin and his gay porn past. i need to get the avatars of him shaking his ass and grinding his ass in the shower on his fellow fratpad costars.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

i don't know why but i'm worried, i'm unconfident, and i don't think too highly of myself. i'm also scared to be around in public. somehow people don't seem to think anything's wrong with me because they talk to me like i'm cool and stuff. there's other moments like at my job where some people treat me like shit judging by their attitudes, the way they look at me and stuff. they apparently see something in me that i at that moment don't realize or see in myself.

and another thing that fucks me up is how my mom and other people will say that i look mad, i make up my face when i disapprove of somebody and shit. they say i should mirror myself but the thing is i don't know that i'm actually making those facial expressions and shit. i'm not aware of that. they are basically not making me feel any better about myself than i already do. in fact, they make me feel worse. have they ever wondered if something might be wrong with me without me knowing it? sometimes i wonder if i have something that i don't know about or maybe somebody knows but just won't tell me. it would make my life a whole lot easier if i knew. no, i don't understand myself.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

@fujie= Have you ever consider body swap to someone and wonder if you'll be treated differently?

no but then again, that brings back the whole thing where it could be my attitude or personality that rubs people the wrong way. i've been a bit self conscious with myself for a long while and i can understand why people would get ticked off with me. i know i have my issues but at the same time, i don't know if that's all me responsible for that or if the ball is out of my court in regards to that. i guess you can say that i have a bit of a hard time reading and understanding people's responses, body language or whatever half of the time at least, it's like i think that they're mad with me by how they act or look at me but they're not. one of my coworkers who's also a buddy of mine jokes around and says that i have autism or whatever the hell which i doubt i have. i can look people in their eyes and stuff. if i don't, it's because of nervousness and anxiety. i basically worry if people like me, want to kick my ass and stuff by how i act around them since i don't know what they're thinking and can only assume. i'm just confused about it all really.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

there's nothing really interesting to me at all, man. i'm very similar to you, man with the exception of a few things here and there. all you're going to see an awkward short black guy in glasses in need of new clothes, that talks through the left corner of his mouth that talks low and softly especially to strangers. i also talk like a uneducated street thug not making any sense along with a whole bunch of curse words too. trust me, it's not something you would want to see. you would be very disappointed. you would have to a lot of patience.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

>>>an actual demon? hmmm .. must be well disguised .. looked like a regular guy.

Hush you. Or you get a gargoyle tail thump over the head.

>>>the way they look at me and stuff. they apparently see something in me that i at that moment don't realize or see in myself.

Yes yes yes. But the thing isn't "what am I missing?" It's that they may be seeing something that isn't even there. Don't work on "seeing the problem that they're seeing". Work on not noticing the way they look at you and stuff.

>>>another thing that fucks me up is how my mom and other people will say that i look mad

I have this. Totally. My default "not thinking about anything" face often causes people to come up and ask if anything's wrong. Once I was waiting at a furniture store for a guy to check on stock, and I was literally just sitting there wondering what to have for dinner or something...but when I looked up at him, he was mouthing the words "I'm really sorry" to me while he was on the phone to the stock room. He thought I was pissed as hell with him, and I wasn't thinking anything at all.

But I don't have unresolved anger issues or anything. That's just how my face arranges itself during "downtime". Weird, but there it is.

>>>there's nothing really interesting to me at all, man.

You think all my friends have millions of dollars in the bank, twelve-inch cocks, PhDs, and bionic arms? It's their personalities that are interesting and intriguing to me.

sometimes, i wonder based off my feelings and thoughts involving people such as me being mad with such person over some dumb shit where i feel like hurting them or hurting somebody over that if i'm a sociopath/psychopath. i have a conscience, anxiety issues and whatever. i wouldn't hurt anybody but i have to admit, sometimes i get so mad, so upset, so paranoid where i think certain people are out to get me where they're an enemy where i want to hurt them. i don't know why. i know how to act nice to people even though i don't mean to be. i act a certain way at my job which differs from the way i really am. i basically am a social charmeleon where i know how to blend in with people. i can be a nice guy around this person, i can be a loud asshole around my boys, and then i could completely show i don't give a fuck. i don't know why. i swear on my life that i'm not a psychopath though. it would kill me if i was though. i'm NOT that.

another thing too. i actually laugh when i see other people in pain. i actually cracked up when my mom was crying about knee hurting her like two weeks ago when i was helping her exercise. i thought it was funny. i love my mother though. i also wanted to punch my therapist in the face at the end of the session yesterday because i wasn't appreciating how blunt he was coming across to me. he was helping me out, giving me advice or whatever but at the same time, i could tell from the way he looked at me that he didn't like me. maybe because i'm gay or something.

like what blackbeltninja said, i tend to find fault with others so i can find a reason to get over on them.

but seriously, i want to be a good, happy person but i don't know if i've been fucking cursed.

i'm just saying though. i believe my father is a sociopath and i HOPE like hell, i didn't inherit that from him. i know that sociopathy is genetic.

maybe i'm just thinking too hard. maybe i need to go outside and head to the LGBT center right now. i'm out.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

>>>another thing too. i actually laugh when i see other people in pain. i actually cracked up when my mom was crying about knee hurting her like two weeks ago when i was helping her exercise. i thought it was funny. i love my mother though. i also wanted to punch my therapist in the face at the end of the session yesterday because i wasn't appreciating how blunt he was coming across to me. he was helping me out, giving me advice or whatever but at the same time, i could tell from the way he looked at me that he didn't like me. maybe because i'm gay or something.

Or, possibly, because you were laughing at your mother's pain? I mean, that'd make me look askance at somebody. Not hate them or anything, but at least think "Well, that's a weird reaction."

>>>Its rare that I feel anything more than 'just ok' .. Not often would I say something like 'good' .. and I deff would never use a word like 'great'.

No offense meant, but from what you've told me, your life is pretty (self-)regimented. You go to work, you go home, you maybe futz around on line, you go to bed. If you want to break out of "just OK", maybe you need to work on that...

he's an old romantic interest, but it's not like he's in my life or I'm pursuing it or anything... I'm just saying, if he were to show up at my doorstep one night out of the blue, I'm not sure I'd be able to turn him away.

TBH I would not be surprised if many people had "flames" like that. Even my first guy I "loved" who was bi and is now married to a woman, if he came crawling back, I would probably take him despite the circumstances of our departure. My current BF knows about him too (airing the skeletons in my closet if you will).

>>>Its rare that I feel anything more than 'just ok' .. Not often would I say something like 'good' .. and I deff would never use a word like 'great'.

No offense meant, but from what you've told me, your life is pretty (self-)regimented. You go to work, you go home, you maybe futz around on line, you go to bed. If you want to break out of "just OK", maybe you need to work on that...

Lex

no offense taken as that pretty much is my (boring) life LOL I do 'waste' way too much time online & should probably ban myself from a few certain websites for awhile (this being one of them) ... instead of internet-time I should be getting more bed-time
Might be slightly less tired, but I'd still feel just ok since thats more of a thing with the fact that I'm getting old.....

i'm a bit annoyed right now. i'm going to say it's because i went to bed at 6 o clock in the morning and woke up at 12 noon after listening to music trying to escape away the worries, anxieties, and thoughts on my head.

i'm angry with myself. i feel like a fucking failure. i have no job. i'm job hunting but not hard enough. i don't think i'm going to get that job that i took a test for on monday. i'm thinking about joining police department out of state but it's in another state (pennsylvania). my father's home and i don't feel like running into him because he irks me. he decided that he felt like staying home today and didn't even bother to tell his boss that he was taking the day off. you know, i was feeling a little jealous of somebody thinking about myself and where i am in life.

i seriously feel like saying fuck it, doing some dumb shit to get locked up or whatever because i feel like giving up with this fucking boring existence.

you know, i'm also annoyed by the therapist who i chose to stop seeing because he reminds me of my mother or the people around me who seem to act like they know what's best for me instead of fucking listening to me. i'm so glad my insurance didn't accept that therapy. apparently, he's not a therapist. more like a cold ass drill sergeant who talks to me in a cold ass way. i knew something wasn't right with that dude when he said "you like feeling sad. that's why you have those thoughts in your head". excuse me. maybe i should punch him in the face so he knows how annoyed i feel with him right now or how tired i am of dealing with fucking assholes like him. for real, i should be locked up right now because i swear on my life, i'm going to flip on one of these godawful annoying pricks around my way. i need somebody to take my frustrations out on, for real.

either that or if i drop dead or somebody fucking kills me. i don't really want to die but i really can't stand this shit. i could give a fuck about what somebody else is going through where i should be thankful for what i have. that doesn't take change how i feel about my life and myself right now.

if anybody happens to read this and wants to respond, please don't. i'm not interested in hearing anybody elses input right now. i'm feeling a bit too pissed right now.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

i don't give a fuck what anybody says. i'm quitting my job over the summertime whether i have job lined up for me or not. i'll job hunt, file application after application until i get something but i have to get out of this job. i'm not getting paid enough and this shit fucking sucks. i'm going to go about it my way.

no more of this customer service shit. no more.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

i'm no drug addict, messed with any other drugs besides weed. i only smoked it about 11 times my whole life since 2007-2011. i haven't smoked since june 6th of last year. i'm going to try my hardest to refrain from messing with weed and even alcohol. i'm going to avoid all that shit. not because of the profession that i chose to do which is criminal justice/legal work but because i want to be able to handle life for what it is.

i realize yesterday that i'm not all that confident with being gay still. i thought that i was close to accepting my sexuality for what it is but i guess i'm not completely there yet. i jerked off three times yesterday to some gay porn, images of men. i felt weird to the point where i was scared to leave the house because i felt like i was exposed. i was ashamed of myself. then hanging around my brother and my homeboy made me feel a bit worse too because here they are talking about women, women that they've dated and i had nothing to say. they don't know my secret. it felt uncomfortable just knowing to myself that i'm gay and them not knowing. i also felt like i was outnumbered without support. i also felt weird at the gym. here are these guys working out and i pretty much felt uncomfortable thinking that they just knew i was gay even though they didn't know me at all.

geez....

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

i would like to thank cj from the real world cancun for helping me get off to the point where my sperm shot out my dick and hit the wall next to me. my dick had gone soft for a second after beating off for a good while. i was jerking off to these hot bod strippers, then scott mline's pec dancing in some tv show and then i went back to the naked cj clip from the realworlddailies. then YES!!!!!! i would say it lasted for about 30 to 40 minutes. the only prob was that when i was stretching my legs out while jerking off in this chair, i felt my leg muscles pulling. that was because i had exercised them earlier.

r minus 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... okay start our engines and then..... bbblllllaaaasssssssstttttttttt offfffffff. my rocket is so full of fuel. yes it is. damn, i'm checking to see if my sperm happened to get on the water bottle that's right next to me.

i have the urge to smell a guy right now. i feel good. was going to play the video game but now it's bedtime.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry