In the Meantime

The paper chase is finished. There are no more adoption documents to sign or forms to fill out or fingerprints appointments to attend. All of our paperwork is submitted and everything on our end is done and out of our hands. It is freeing and scary and beautiful and hopeful. It’s a sweet place to be to know I am completely dependent upon God for His timing and the child He has planned for us to parent.

I don’t yet have a file or a picture. I don’t know our child’s age or gender. I don’t know what makes him smile or how she likes to be comforted when she cries. I don’t know if he is shy or she lights up a room. I don’t know his favorite color or if she sucks her thumb to soothe herself to sleep. There are more questions than answers in this spot so in the meantime . . . I pray.

I pray for our child’s caregivers. I ask God that someone will hold our child today instead of letting him or her wait in the crib hour after hour craving human touch. I ask God to make the caregivers’ hearts compassionate toward our child. I ask that when our son or daughter is sick or has a need that the need will be met with tenderness.

I pray that our child would have a healthy attachment to one of his or her caregivers so that one day our child will learn to attach to us. I pray that our son or daughter receives love the first few years of his or her life so that our child will one day understand the love of a family. I pray that God begins to prepare our son or daughter for the beautiful but hard transition that is about to take place.

I pray for our children at home as they make room physically and emotionally for a new brother or sister to enter our family. I ask God that He would make them feel safe and secure in our love. I pray He would help their hearts welcome a stranger and that He would create a strong bond between them. I pray that God would break their hearts for what breaks His and that they would be forever changed in the most wonderful way and thankful that adopting a brother or sister is a part of their story.

I pray for my husband and me. We know weary days are ahead. We know the exhaustion that is coming with jet lag and sleepless nights and an anxious toddler who doesn’t speak our language and is frightened by every noise and movement we make. I pray and ask God to fight on our behalf so that we can care for our new child and give him or her the patience, grace, love, and strength our son or daughter deserves.

I pray for the doctors and specialists to have wisdom to help us with our child’s special need. I pray that God would help us make the appointments we need when we need them and that He would guide our steps to know how to best help our child.

I pray that God would use our family to shine a light on the millions of children who need a home. I pray that He would use the conversations that come up with others in grocery stores and restaurants and on the playground and through social media to open others’ eyes to the need of more forever families.

I thank God that He is working to answer these prayers even though I can’t see how right now. He has not forgotten me and He has not forgotten our child as we wait in the meantime . . .

I ran across this email today in my inbox. It was so what my heart needed to hear. We are waiting to be matched…it is hard to live in the moment as a family of 4 soon to be 5 when your heart longs for your other kiddo. The waiting is a strange place filled with lots of emotions.