Sex receives a lot of strong reactions, and hopefully at least a phone call the day after. But tattoos get a lot of strong reactions too. And since this isn't a prudish publication, we're using the following pages to have a healthy discourse about one of the most fundamentally important aspects of being a human being.

PRAISE FROM A WORLD AWAY What's up, INKED? Just wanted to say I love the magazine. I'm currently overseas in Kuwait. We don't get too many copies of INKED in, but I usually am one of the lucky ones to grab a copy when it comes to us.

Lady Gaga wears some ridiculous (and a lot of supercool) stuff, but underneath it all she's inked just like us. Her latest addition? Tattooer Becca Roach from North Star Tattoo in New York City recently put a unicorn head on the pop star's thigh.

Made from 70 percent pinot noir grapes and 30 per cent chardonnay, this brut (brut=not sweet, by the way) can stand up to any pairing. The notes are fruity, so if your date wants strawberries and whipped cream for Valentine's Day, go with this bottle ($80).

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[no value]

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IRON HORSE 2005

Object Price

$33

Object Description

Iron Horse carefully chooses the grapes that go into this bottle [$33] from Green Valley. Not until harvest do the winemakers determine the fate of each particular grape, choosing the smaller, sugary berries for still wine while reserving the larger, tart ones for this sparkling.

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[no value]

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SOFIA ROSE

Object Price

$20

Object Description

From the Francis Ford Coppola Winery-and named after Sofia Coppola-this crisp rosé is our go-to at $20. Knowledge for life: The difference between rosé and other sparkling wines isnt the color of the grapes but that the grapes used in rosés ferment for a spell with their skins on, creating the pink tint.

If you adhere—or even if you don't—to the adage that it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean, get yourself an outboard motor: the Lifestyles's Vibrating Ring (four for $13, www.lifestyles.com).

Industry

Lifestyles

Object

Marini's Chocolate Covered Bacon

Object Price

$11

Object Description

If you're dating the right girl, a Whitman's Sampler won't do. Instead, this Valentine's Day give her Marini's Chocolate Covered Bacon ($11 for half-pound box, www.mariniscandies.com).

Industry

Lifestyles

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[no value]

Object Price

$420,

Object Description

It took you a second, didn't it? This brilliant piece ($420,Ieah piepgras.com) says, "I'm not uptight" and "I enjoy visual puns. "In the wrong company you can just say, "No, you pervert, this is abstract art."

Sometimes Mother Nature can be a real mother. Tell her what you think about precipitation with the Fuck the Rain umbrella ($52, artlebedev.com).

Industry

Lifestyles

Object

Lee Hale

Object Price

$395

Object Description

These Lee Hale oxidized bronze candleholders with talons $395, eriebasin.com are the slickest candlesticks we've ever seen. The only issue? No catch for running wax means you end up with droppings.

Industry

Lifestyles

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[no value]

Object Price

$8

Object Description

Eyes on the prize: Your next piece isn't going to pay for itself, so bank your spare change in the I'm Savin' Up for a New Tattoo! bank ($8, perpetualkid.com).

Industry

Lifestyles

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Badcock

Object Price

$38

Object Description

Badcock makes some of ouf'favorite T-shirts, and they utilized the root of the romantic languages for this vintage-feeling shirt ($38, badcockapparel.com).

Industry

Lifestyles

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[no value]

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Marine Mine takes salvaged underwater mines from an abandoned Soviet military facility near Finland and fabricates them into some impactful furniture. They create fireplaces (above), armchairs, beds, and even toilets (prices available upon request, marinemine.com)

The adult film business makes their bread off shock value, and now that they have pushed the physical bar as high as humanly possible they have turned to ream our favorite programs. The porn parody is not a new idea but one that the industry has been going gangbangers-excuse me, gangbusters-with recently.

Cleaner Science Petri Dish Soap($98, etsy.com] Consider this a reminder of why you want to wash your hands after using the bathroom. The petri-dishshaped, honey-scented soap is modeled after an image of USDA enemy number one: escherichia coli.

Industry

etsy

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Lush Whoosh Shower Jelly

Object Price

$6

Object Description

Lush Whoosh Shower Jelly($6, lush.com] Not a Jell-0 Jiggler, this wobbly blue bar creates a refreshing lather with lemon, lime, and grapefruit juices packed into the formula. One caveat with this one: You will unavoidably drop the soap.

Industry

etsy

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Love Lee Soaps Doughnut Soap

Object Price

$4

Object Description

Love Lee Soaps Doughnut Soap ($4; etsy.com] With a chocolate scent and actual sprinkles, visitors might be tempted to bite into this bar. So warn them in advance-because no matter how dumb they are, no one deserves to have their mouth washed out with soap.

Industry

etsy

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Aramis Soap on a Rope

Object Price

$14

Object Description

Aramis Soap on a Rope ($14; amazon.com] Did an ex-convict invent this item? The jury's hung. We do know, however, that this iteration is no gag gift. The handy soap's moisturizing formula leaves behind an expensive-smelling patchouli and musk fragrance.

Creator

Jennifer Goldstein

Teaser

THINGS THAT ARE SURE IN LIFE: You will pay taxes, getting a tattoo will hurt, and your houseguests will examine everything in your bathroom. To have a little fun with that inevitability, you could stash bedbug spray under the sink and fill your medicine cabinet with antifungal cream, dandruff shampoo, and Zovirax (Google it), but what if the houseguest happens to be someone you'd like to impress?

Oliver Peck has been tattooing and traveling the world for the last 18 years, so he knows how to live on the road. Accordingly, we tapped him to play tour guide for his hometown, the Big D. The first place you should stop is the shop he owns with Dean Williams, Elm Street Tattoo (2811 Elm St.), in Deep Eilum.

Ever since the first Model T rolled off the assembly line, cars and love—at least its physical manifestation—have been linked. "They're a great place to be spontaneous," says adult film star Brooke Banner.

The Cold War Kids are growing up yet not growing old. The Long Beachbased soul-punk outfit began carefree and fun, but now the band—and their sound—is maturing. "I'm trying to come up with a better term for what this phase of life is all about," explains frontman, pianist, guitarist, and lyricist Nathan Willett.

A person's first job is never supposed to become their career—if that were the case, the number one profession in America would be grocery bagger. So when a 16-year-old Tre Wilcox took his work permit to a kitchen, he certainly didn't expect to discover that cooking would become the great passion of his life.

"I had always been fascinated by the ability to appear one thing and to be another," says Melissa Febos. This curiosity soon became her reality. In her revealing memoir, Whip Smart, Febos shares the realities of her double life as a dominatrix.

Pornography has done a lot of good-really, it has. The art form helped you through "the talk" with your parents. Your father, stammering: "Now, son ... when a man and a-" You: "Yeah, I know, Dad." Its stars, like Jenna Jameson and Traci Lords, were your first sex-ed instructors.

WHAT DOES THE HARD-ROCKING, HARD-LIVING LEAD OF SOCIAL DISTORTION DO IN HIS DOWNTIME? HE GOES ANTIQUING. DON'T TAKE MIKE NESS FOR GRANTED.

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[no value]

Creator

ROCKY RAKOVIC

Creator

MIKE NESS

Teaser

A MAN WITH SLICKED-BACK HAIR, A SALT-AND-PEPPER BEARD, KNUCKLE TATTOOS, neck tattoos, and an anchor tattooed on his cheek strides into GiGi's Antiques in Red Bank, NJ. One of the old women at the counter, perhaps GiGi herself, clutches her chest, and the other reaches for the cash register.

Now, Nothing here's makes an argument this Meredith against Devine the happier Atkins diet: than a carb-loaded breakfast. Whether it's peanut butter banana French toast with a side of home fries or a New York bagel, Devine starts her day off strong.

The face of electronic music is a mouse. From underneath his giant costume head, deadmau5 produces tracks that have earned him three Juno awards, a Grammy nod, and the honor of being the house LU for last year's MTV Video Music Awards. He also has a nice collection of ink.

TO CAPTURE THE ZEITGEIST OF CARNAL KNOWLEDGE IN OUR CULTURE, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER WE SURVEYED TATTOOED AMERICANS ABOUT SEX. FOLLOWING ARE THE DEFINITIVE ACTIONS AND ATTITUDES OF OUR SEXUALITY.

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[no value]

Teaser

75% OF INKED AMERICANS' SIGNIFICANT OTHERS HAVE TATTOOS When asked if they had to either give up sex for the rest of their lives or never get another tattoo, 14% said they would become celibate for more ink. 78% SAY THAT EX NORMALLY OCCURS AFTER THE THIRD DATE.

Even Seinfeld is hard at work. Rock star, porn star, reality TV star, emcee-he's doing it all. Once mar ried to porn megastar Tera Patrick, he is now dating Lupe Fuentes, the hottest new name in adult films. While the heavily inked singer and bassist first made his name fronting the socially conscious Brooklyn band Biohazard-which merged metal, hardcore, and early rap into its sonic assaults-Seinfeld has also reinvented himself as an X-rated star and nightclub impresario, recently hosting The Biggest Tattoo Show on Earth convention and parties at the King Ink Lounge at the Mirage Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

"I love kissing my boyfriend's stomach tattoo-it's so hot!" "I think hieII-done tattoos are attractive, and someone who has the guts to display one shows their confidence, which is also very attractive." "Any tattoos that flow with the natural curves of a woman are sexy to me."

Baba Austin has a lot of tattoo stories to tell, enough to fill an encyclopedia on the art. Like a tattooed Homer, he holds court at the many tattoo conventions he works, sharing epic tales of tattoo gang wars, the wisdom of old salts passed down to him, and the origins of certain tattoo traditions.

Legend has it that Ogden, UT, a stop along the first transcontinental railroad, was too wild for notorious crime boss Al Capone. A perfect example of the city's sordid past is the 25th Street location of Lost Art Tattoo & Piercing, which is believed to be the former site of a brothel and sits atop underground tunnels that transported booze and broads during the Prohibition era.

How did you get into tattooing? I was in the military for 10 years. Anyone in the military can tell you how much of a tradition tattoos tend to be for many servicemen. I got out of the military, for PTSD, so at that point in my life drawing very much became therapy for me.

NAME: Robyn Joy SHOP MANAGER AT: Naked Art Tattoos, Odenton, MD Everyone in the shop is awesome and prioritizes tattooing first and having a good time a close second. We host parties, have BBQs, attend local car shows, and hold charity events.

As part of their 50th anniversary, Sanrio-the maker of Hello Kitty-installed a pop-up shop including a retrospective of their products, a candy counter, and art from Anthony Lister, Shepard Fairey and Mark Mothersbaugh during Art Basel.

Art Basel is considered the Olympics of the art world, where the elite descend on Miami to show the best in design innovation. Surprise, surprise-the biggest artists and art fans have tattoos, and for them INKED and Jack Daniel's threw "Peep Show," a party at Louis Bar Lounge in the Gansevoort South.

"I've always drawn. Since I was a kid I've never really wanted to do anything else, and I'm very lucky that I was able to learn how to tat too," Marina Inoue says. She's tempered her artistic eye to the canvas; when she is tattooing she goes traditional or black and gray with a whip shade, but if she is designing a T-shirt she channels `80s skater culture.