Welcome to Super Bowl XXIV. Welcome to Super Bowl Week. Welcome to our annual compilation of mirth, madness and mischief that usually makes the seven days leading up to the game more fun than the game itself.

PARIS, WHO is listed at 295 pounds and may not be a pound over 350, was an early-week favorite, fielding such questions as "what kind of diet are you on?" and "how many pounds of food do you eat in a day?"

"You may not believe it," he said, "but playing with a lot of weight isn't something that happened overnight."

One time he looked out into the sea of reporters, spotted a huge guy with a tape recorder and said: "Me and him are so big we could sing `We Are The World' all by ourselves."

THE FINAL betting line in Las Vegas has Bud favored by two points over Bud Light in Bud Bowl II. Take Bud Light and the points. Bud won last year.

C.W. NEVIUS of the San Francisco Chronicle said he ran across television personality Merv Griffin at famous French Quarter restaurant early in the week.

"Why isn't your picture on the wall with the other famous people?," Nevius asked, jokingly.

"Because all those people are dead and I'm alive," Griffin snapped and continued eating.

"Joe's come a long way since our sandlot days, but he hasn't changed," said Dingle.

"I remember once I sent him a get-well card when he had back surgery, and he got well. Imagine. What a guy."

JESSE SAPOLU, the 49ers center, was asked to talk about Montana.

"People talk about him like he's God or something," said Sapolu. "I know he's human. I feel his hands on every play."

DENVER RECEIVER Michael Young, who joined the Broncos this season as a Plan B free agent from the Rams, said it took one pass to appreciate quarterback John Elway's arm strength.

"First day of training camp, I ran an out pattern," he said. "When I turned, the ball hit me square in the face mask and stuck between the bars. I pulled it out before anybody saw what happened, but I told the guys to watch the film that night.

"The coaches ran the film in slow motion and everybody cracked up. Man, I looked like a unicorn."

THE OFFICIAL tour guide of New Orleans doesn't list this as an attraction, but if you come here and want to have some unscheduled fun, go to the Acme Oyster House in the French Quarter and watch the tourists try to eat raw oysters (they're called "ersters" here) with Louisiana hot sauce, catsup and horseradish.

Despite earlier reports of lukewarm enthusiasm in Denver, orange-clad Broncos fans were more visible, and lively, than the seemingly up-scale, low-key crowd from San Francisco.

SUPER FACTS:

* Lem Banker, a successful Las Vegas gambler who said he bets about $250,000 every Sunday during the season, likes Denver and 13 points. He said he's already put down $50,000 on Denver and it will be more by the kickoff. "That's too many points," he said. "The 49ers should only get 13 points if they're playing the (New York) Jets at home."

* All signs point to a San Francisco victory. XVIII of the first XXIII games have been won by teams with human nicknames. IV have been won by teams with animal nicknames, and one by a team with an object nickname (Jets). XIII games have been won by teams wearing white jerseys, which the 49ers will wear today.

A JAPANESE reporter asked Broncos' receiver Vance Johnson what he would like to say to the people of Japan.

"Tell one of your rich businessmen to buy an NFL team and pay me $3 million a year," he replied.

A LOS ANGELES psychologist offered four tips to wives to help keep relationships intact this afternoon:

* Don't do household chores during the game.

* Don't balance the checkbook.

* Don't do things with the kids.

* And don't start a conversation with "You never talk to me ..."

PUT ABOUT 2,500 members of the media in a room with players for three days and you're going to hear some dumb questions.

* Reporter to Elway: "On Bourbon Street last night, two San Francisco players had a voodoo queen put blonde hair on a doll and stick it with pins. Did you feel any strange pains last night?"

Elway: "None out of the ordinary."

* Reporter to Denver's Bobby Humphrey, who has cracked ribs: "Bobby, is there any way they can make your ribs heal faster? Are they telling you to drink a lot of milk?"

Humphrey: "No."

* And then there was the reporter who somehow confused Michael Young of the Broncos with reserve quarterback Steve Young of the 49ers and asked: "How does it feel playing behind Montana?"

FROM THE COMIC pages to a federal penitentiary, the Broncos got little respect this week. Charlie Jones of NBC was the only major network announcer to pick Denver to win.