Hollywood is just so much more fabulous than real life. In real life, regular Joes can’t walk and chew gum at the same time – in Hollywood stars can’t pack heat, eat and park at the same time. First there was Robert Blake, whose murder alibi was that he’d gone to get his gun at a restaurant when his wife was shot to death in the car.

Then last week it was Sean Penn who stopped protesting the war long enough to leave his loaded 9mm Glock handgun in the car and go into a restaurant. Unfortunately, his car, a 1987 Buick, was then stolen.

More pressing than the question of why the newly pacifistic Penn, whose next movie is called “The Assassination of Richard Nixon,” was packing heat, are the questions of why he was driving a 1987 muscle car worth about $9,000, and why the heck anyone would bother to steal it.

From looking at Web sites advertising this kind of car, cops should have no trouble finding the thief. How tough can it be to find a man sporting a mullet and a wife-beater shirt in California? Those fashion faux pas alone are enough to get a guy arrested there.