Wow.....feeling a bit offended!!!

Hi ladies
So after months of trying to make a decision about the method of delivery for this baby I eventually decided on an elective c section.
I don't like the decision but after my last birth and weighing it all up I feel it's best for me.
My best pal knows how hard I've found this decision making and yesterday sent me a text saying I shouldn't feel ashamed of my choice it's just one of those things.
At no point do I feel ashamed! A c section isn't the easy option!!!
Now I'm really put out that she clearly thinks I'm taking the easy option!

Yeah her wording is a bit thoughtless... there was no “easy” option eithe...

Posted
10/04/2018

Yeah her wording is a bit thoughtless... there was no “easy” option either way for you.
Good luck for tomorrow- apart from this hiccup this morning how’ve you been feeling?x

Morning hun
Thank you! I just think people who don't have kids or have never been pregnant think they can literally say anything to us!
I'm utterly terrified for tomorrow but can't wait to meet our team yellow.

Has she had children? As your bestie she won’t have wanted it come out like that, but she may have never been in the same situation so doesn’t know how it’s come across. She won’t have wanted to hurt you xxx

Has she had children? As your bestie she won’t have wanted it come out like...

Posted
10/04/2018

Has she had children? As your bestie she won’t have wanted it come out like that, but she may have never been in the same situation so doesn’t know how it’s come across. She won’t have wanted to hurt you xxx

Hi, no she doesn't have children.

You are totally right she wouldn't ever mean to offend, think I'm being slightly over dramatic today worrying about tomorrow!xxx

There is no easy option.. wish there was but there isnt!!
Would people say the same about any other major surgery? No.
I dreaded needing a c section with both my births. My DD (dear daughter) almost ended up being an emergency c section and I was terrified at the prospect.
Don’t be put out, you’ve made the right decision for you and that’s all that matters.

Yes I'm a FTM, but I personally would NEVER JUDGE someone for going for an elective c-section - the wording of her message is probably more based on the way sections are often shamed in society and not at all what she would personally think... I think that often ppl do feel 'ashamed' because of all the judgey people out there, which it sooo shouldn't be! Like look at all the posts from worried women who feel they have to justify their choice when they absolutely shouldn't have to!

Without causing more offence to you, I'm pretty sure you taking offence for something which was most likely said with no mal-intent may be a little overreaction 🙈

Now I'm sat here thinking oh shit! What did I say to my SIL (sister-in-law) when she went for elective cos of health and necessity 😨 Hope I didn't offend her with trying to being nice....

I genuinely don't think she means she thinks section is the easy option, if she knows you have made a decision after deliberating long and hard over it it reads more to me like she is trying to be supportive and let you know that even if you are disappointed for whatever reasons that you have had to go down the surgical route she doesn't think you have any reason to feel low about it. I have seen loads of stuff lately about mums who feels shame or upset that their body couldn't do it "naturally", whose entire postnatal period was affected by feeling like their body had let them down, maybe she has seen some of those same articles or done some research to see how you may feel afterwards and is pre-emptively trying to reassure you that you have made the best decision and needn't second guess yourself? Xxxx

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