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Archive for May, 2011

There is a tyranny of the ‘real’ similar to the tyranny of the thoughts. Thoughts become tyrants when they, instead of serving the master, usurp his throne and make their master a prisoner. The master loses his space, freedom, peace and autonomy and suffer. Fortunately we don’t suffer this indignity always; normally we retain some wit and presence to recover our autonomy before it is too late. The constant static noise of thought running in the background of our mind is our normal misery. It is the tyrant to which we all are familiar. But there is a tyranny of the ‘real’ whose scope, power , operations and activities we have not sufficiently awakened to. This article tries to map its activities by beginning with an example.

A few days ago I read a story in a newspaper which sort of triggered this article to be written. The story ran like this:
In a small town in India, a young man of twenty committed suicide by jumping before a running train. The suicide was mysterious because there were no causes known even to his parents for his taking this extreme step. But police investigation led to the discovery of his diary which unearthed, may be partially, the mystery behind his suicide. The boy was courting a girl over the net. After some months of chats, where both expressed their longing for each other, the boy invited the girl to his town so that they could meet each other for an hour. The girl agreed to the proposal. They met for some time at the railway station. But there the boy got the shock of his life. He found to his horror that the girl was ‘homely’ which may be translated as just ‘ plain ’. Thereafter they both parted and went their separate ways. The boy was determined, almost viscerally, that he would have no further truck with the girl. Had he made this discovery known to the girl, then probably this tragedy won’t have happened. But he kept his discovery to himself. How could the girl know that her lover had serious reservations regarding her beauty? She kept on trying to chat with him but as he stopped being available on chat, she began to phone him. Even over phone he couldn’t tell her the reason for his change of mind. So the girl continued to ‘pester’ him over phone. The day he committed suicide was the day the girl had informed him that she would be coming again to meet him, this time at his home with his parents, to discuss about their marriage. The boy got panicked because he had kept everyone in the dark about his amorous activities over net. In a state of confusion and panic he jumped before the train. Nobody in the small town had ever seen the shy boy with any girl; so the discovery of the truth was a surprise for all.

In the story above we find an example of the tyranny of the ‘real’ over our lives. What the imagination and affection had brought together, the ‘real’ was allowed to ride rough shod over it. I am reminded of one of Keats’ most famous letters to his publisher wherein he stated, ” I am certain of nothing except the holiness of heart’s affection and the truth of imagination”. Had the boy believed in the holiness of his heart’s affection and the truth of his imagination, instead of lending his power to the tyranny of the ‘real’, he would have lived on and most probably would have led a happy conjugal life with the girl who was so deeply in love with him. How I wish that the boy had told to himself, after his discovery of the girl’s plainness, ” I refuse to be cowed down by the rude jolts of the ‘real’. Whatever my heart feels a kinship to or develop an affection for must be holy and true. Why should I give preference to my eyes over the matters of heart ? If I have imagined her to be beautiful and lovable she must be really so, notwithstanding what she appears to my eyes. Eyes can’t know the real, but the heart knows.” It is one of those scenes in the theatre of life where one is impelled from within to rise up from the spectator’s seat to shout, “ Don’t do that, young man, to yourself, do this instead.”

This tyranny of the ‘real’, the tyranny of what appears to be infallibly true to our senses has made this world a graveyard of relationships and marriages . People court the other passionately, declaring themselves to be in love from the top of the roofs and marry or begin to live with each other with high hopes and expectations but soon surrender their power, their freedom, their autonomy to a tyrant named the ‘real’ or ’reality’. They forget that the “real” is to be found nowhere except in their imagination. If the beloved didn’t look attractive any more, didn’t seem as lovable as before then the cause might be with their perceptions rather than with the ones in whom they had felt the vibrations of their hearts’ affection, in whom they had seen their truth of imagination revealed. But living a life with reference to a centre placed outside of our selves, how can we see the holiness of heart’s affection and the truth of our imagination? No wonder the appearance is taken as reality. When men and women will begin to live authentically, convinced of what Keats had been deeply convinced about, living from a centre within, dropping into their essence more and more and surfacing only as situations dictated, then this tyrant will be dislodged of its seat which has outlived its reign. Then when confronted with pieces of evidences of ‘reality,’ men and women would shout in their actions, ” Fie with you ‘reality’! Get out from my life. My beloved has nothing to do with the evidences you produced. To you she may be fat, short tempered or unfaithful or he may be bald, limping or impotent but that has nothing to do with what I have felt in him or her with the holiness of my heart’s affection and the truth of imagination. She or he is me, there is no other over there. I have heard or seen your evidences from outside but I know the truth from within.”

The name of the game is a sense of lack. It is an important part of the theatre of life. Through this device the master illusionist creates dissatisfaction, discord and disharmony. Where we lack nothing, we are constantly prompted in the ear, “There must be more to life and living. It feels imperfect and incomplete. I must get something to make myself more complete, more perfect. I must find a better partner who will fulfill me, make me happy.” It becomes a major tool in the hands of the tyrant to crumble all our relationships and happiness under its weight. But living life from the centre, from a space deep within us, dropping more often into our essence at ease will again redeem us from this fallen, mired and sorry state. Then all the challenges will only make us more present, more alive and more attuned to the truly real in us. As someone said,” What is precious in us doesn’t come, doesn’t go, and it does not depend on performance.”

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Sex is a wonderful gift God gave to each man(and to each woman, I hope so). His only instruction was to keep it in the head, in the mind only; to keep its potency, its mystery and miraculous power everlasting. His only warning was, if you bring it down to a lower plain, below the belt as they say it, into its active Avatar, it couldn’t last beyond ten minutes. There it could relax you but you also run the risk of being addicted to it. So the warning on the wrapper clearly states “use judiciously, even better,use it only if you must or if you feel the urge uncontrollably. Injudicious or immoderate usage may make you experimenting, crave for more and more, and may produce in you the itch to experiment it with new partners at regular intervals which in turn may make you lose the one partner you may have already got. She may start to be experimenting and exploring with new partners herself, being infected by the bug,may be from you. So, much heart burn may ensue. If all partners abandon you after discovering your truth, you may experience withdrawal symptoms of the most severe type, bordering on suicidal or homicidal inclinations, either way you may end as a cropper. So though a blessing, a gift, nonetheless, constant vigilance and awareness is warranted “.

After reading all this on the wrapper, which most didn’t read before use, I decided to let it stay on the mental level, in my head only. Because I knew maintaining balance on such a heady matter was not my forte and I tended to go to the extreme in all matters that interested me or sounded interesting to me. But from there too, it began to affect me in so many ways. Yes, I will confess it all before you, friends (again I hope you all are). First the negative effects or side effects. One, it has made me a voyeur. Two, it has made me keep count of who sees whom,who loves whom,who is who’s lover/beloved etc.Three, I can never utter ten sentences without bringing sex into it. Four, I judge all saints by the amount of revelations they had brought into open about their sexual lives.So Gandhiji is one of my favorites while Shankara is not,for instance. While Osho is one of my most favorites while his more illustrious contemporaries Muktananda, Sivananda and Sathya Sai Baba are not. Among my Facebook friends, I consider Julia Day and Carmen Penteck as modern day saints while Karen Richards is not, inspite of her so many brilliant qualities and considerable charm. I may be accused of being judgemental here, but, I am sure Karen won’t mind. She would just say “that too is seen,” in her usual Adwaitin lingo and let it go at that. She won’t even remember it ever. Moreover, I may be paying Karen an underhand compliment here because only a saint can let go someone scotfree after her sainthood had been trifled with. Otherwise, woe be on that man who messes with someone’s sainthood.Try, any one of you, to meddle with my sainthood and see how I curse and swear at you ! Lol !

Now the positive side effects. In fact,not side effects but just one only. Everything has become sexy to me. Men,women, beasts, birds, reptiles, insects, rivers, ocean, trees and stones, just everything in the universe has become sexy, attractive, beautiful and lovable in my eyes. As if the entire universe is my beloved and everything present before my eyes is God in one of His myriad veiled forms. He also has pitched His tent in me as Love. I know Love from within. How else to know It ?

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When you live life with reference to a point outside of you, you begin to speak sentences such as “nothing ever really happened” or “nothing matters in any way” or “it just apparently happened.” You begin to see this “apparent” apparitions everywhere. In other words you become an “alien” to yourself. Of course, you won’t admit this. You would much prefer to call yourself, after a recent trend, “a non-dualist,” “a Adwaitin”. If you just copy a few lines daily from The Buddha, Ramana, Rumi or Shankara on a social network medium like Facebook, you would be read and ‘liked” by many “aliens” like you, who have never read, except may be very cursorily, any of these or even other authors like Osho, Papaji, Eckhert tolle, SriAurobindo, Wayne Dyer or Gina Lake in any depth. I don’t really hold it against you for not having read a great deal. I know very few people read beyond the today’s newspapers. But living life with reference to a point or centre outside of yourself will likely to give rise in you the characteristic symptoms of being an “alien”. You will be an alien even to your inmost emotions and feelings. Then you will begin to see the “apparent” apparitions everywhere.

When hungry, instead of saying “I feel hungry” you will say “apparent hunger has apparently effected the apparent me.” When sexual thoughts, desires or sensations arise in you and demand their fulfillment, you will say “apparent sexual desires have apparently arisen in the apparent me”. In other words, you will have become an ‘alien’ to yourself, masquerading as a great non-dualist thinker. Of course, you will have a coterie of friends and acquaintances, all ‘aliens’ and “jombies” like you; you all will “like” each others’ “apparent” regurgitations. Anyone from outside of your coterie who shares his/her own “lived experiences” will be branded by all of you as “a person with a big ego,” or “another ego speaking,” whereas the real egoists are you and your “alien” friends.

These “aliens” masquerading as non-dualists or Adwaitins, have some other things in common. One, they have nothing to share of their own, their own “lived experiences”. Osho, probably keeping in mind these “aliens” or their tribes, these seers of “apparent” apparitions everywhere, said,”Borrowed truths are dead truths. Buddha’s truths were living truths for him, they are not living ones for you. Since when have you made them your own? Since when have you lived them? If you have loved someone, then you can call that experience your own. If you have not loved anybody but have hated someone, then even you can call that hate as your own. That becomes your truth. Then I want to listen to your experiencing and sharing of that hatred because that is the only authentic truth you know. Don’t tell me of your borrowed wisdoms. They are all there in the books, dead and powerless. No need of parroting them to me, or anyone else.” Of course, these “aliens” won’t admit that even “experienced” hatred can be true and powerful and unlived truth can be dead and useless.

Truth can be messy and not beautiful, according to your notion of beauty. For instance, sex is a beautiful emotion, but it may not conform to your notion of beauty. So when you see it outside, you may call it ugly. You disown the guru who has sex and venerate the one who poses as if he has conquered it. The spiritual men who admitted that they had sex gave you the most problems, because they went against your idea of spirituality. Osho gave you the most problems. When Wayne Dyer in a lecture, referring jokingly to his having eight children, said,” What am I ? A solar powered (putting one of his hands lightly on his bald head) sex machine?” He probably gave many of you the same kind of problems. When Marianne Williamsons was asked why being a woman she was not going to vote for Mrs Clinton but for Mr Obama, she replied, “ I am not going to vote with my vagina..” She probably put many of you in the same kind of problems. Because how to adjust this messiness of truth with your idea of beauty and truth ? How can a spiritual person name certain bodily parts and functions? So also when some new facts come to your notice regarding Gandhiji you feel disturbed. All challenge your cherished notion that saints should be sexless. But how can you fit truth into a mould of your own?

This topsy-turvy of value happens when your reference point for experiencing things is placed outside of you. But your heart or true self or the inner Guru sitting within you never tells you a lie. In every situation, at every moment, if you can sense what your inner being whispers to you, if you can take heed to its prompts, you will find all truths residing in you. Then if you feel hungry, obeying the inner prompts, you eat; when sleepy you sleep; and when you feel the urge for sex you have sex. Then you don’t ever have to say,”I am apparently feeling an apparent hunger.” Instead you take your meal and say,”I have taken my meal and I feel satisfied”. You never say, after having had sex that “After all, it never really happened” or “ It just apparently happened”. Instead you say,” I have had sex and I feel relaxed and happy.” In short, living even a few minutes only with reference to the centre in you, you have once again reclaimed your own self, your own treasure house of wisdom, truth, beauty, peace and joy and have unknowingly dropped your “alien” status which you had egoistically thought and clutched to your heart as your nondualistic Mahatmahood. But are you willing to shed your “alien” status? Are you willing to say good bye to your “apparent” apparitions ?

Carolyn Wind thank you, Paresh~~♥
April 20 at 10:15pm · Unlike · 2 people
Amal Gupta ‎@ Paresh:// Are You Willing To Shed Your “Alien” Status? // No I am not 🙂 …. I gave my views as a comment in your previous Note….. I just returned from India… had wonderful 3 days at the Bandavgarh Tiger Sanctuary….. saw one ti…See More
April 20 at 11:28pm · Like · 1 person
Steven Steensels Wonderful essay, again, Paresh. You have a real gift to put people’s noses (not to use another word) back at the right place, even if most of your commentators seem to believe you’re only promoting libertine sex. Excellent note, my friend, about the real tragedy which is the way we have thrown out the universe and ourselves…
April 21 at 1:13am · Unlike · 2 people
Carmen Pentek Simply brilliant, Paresh! Thank you so much for such a wonderful and clear wording of what I was feeling over the past couple of months and trying to express in my statuses…

As I said earlier people who are important and close to me as wel…See More
April 21 at 2:35am · Unlike · 2 people
Carmen Pentek ‎(BTW what a beautiful ping pong of notes between you and me in these days… must be the full moon, I guess…;)
April 21 at 2:54am · Unlike · 1 person
Tim Hartman Paresh, thank you for this note. Very well said. We haven’t spoken much recently, but I see your posts, even though I don’t always comment on them. I can’t wait until I have (a few) breaks this summer…I’ve had a lot on my mind, but not…See More
April 21 at 3:16am · Unlike · 4 people
Grace Ana Kenealy Pareshiji, my dear friend who is ‘Employed by the Self for enacting in this bodymind role’, not only are you a healer with observations & a magician with words, but you are a trend-setter too! :). I love it all xo
April 21 at 6:04am · Unlike · 2 people
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Love you Grace, dear friend.You are one of my inspirations,my teachers too. Your whiplashes too are enlightening. Thank you for being with me always and doing all these publicly and privately too.
April 21 at 6:13am · Like
Grace Ana Kenealy ♥♥♥♥♥ i can only see what’s inside of me ♥♥♥♥♥♥
April 21 at 6:17am · Unlike · 1 person
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Grace, I can also see those lovely bare feet walking on a beach towards sunset, full of the spirit of adventurer and out on a mission to explore the world for herself. I too walked with those bare feet and experienced the world with those wonder-struck eyes.Please do continue sharing with me all your adventures and “lived experiences” with me. I would love them because I love you. Thank you for all things.
April 21 at 6:30am · Like
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Thank you,Donna J.Brooks,Donna Marble and Carolyn for liking/ commenting on this note so spontaneously. Thank you Daniel and Tim for your extremely encouraging and appreciating words. Thanks Bill for calling this an important note and also for a most vital observation which many have liked with me.
April 21 at 6:46am · Like
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Dear Carmen, playing ping- pong with you has been a daily booster and energizer for me.Connecting with you in any way is like connecting with a live wire, it gets all my motors running. It also keeps me young by associating with a child like playful,curios and lively mind. In your words it keeps all the needs of all my electrons fulfilled. Thank you for what you are, a blessing for mankind, dear friend.
April 21 at 6:55am · Like · 1 person
Carmen Pentek Oh, wow, just when I thought that everything that you could possibly say positive was already said you managed to find new words of praise! I am again and again impressed by your eloquence and kindness. Thank you, dear Paresh. Yes, when we …See More
April 21 at 12:06pm · Unlike · 1 person
Sudhir Jain Dear Paresh I have some different opinion about your beautiful note being truthful about your own experiences and sharing them is definitely a virtue but judging others that too without meeting them and just by reading their posts is in my …See More
April 21 at 12:40pm · Unlike · 1 person
Sudhir Jain what are borrowed experiences? those that you do not experience but can’t I feel the depth of your experience by listening to your experience and share that with others is it wrong ? what is compassion it is feeling the pain of other though not going actually through pain himself so being compassionate is wrong?
April 21 at 12:45pm · Unlike · 2 people
Sudhir Jain I think very few people will share some quote or statement by others just to get a high it is like when you are full of love you overflow and you need to share I think that’s when people share thoughts and sayings of great persons.
April 21 at 12:49pm · Unlike · 2 people
Sudhir Jain just my honest thoughts Paresh about how “I” understood your post please correct me if I understood in a wrong sense.
April 21 at 12:57pm · Unlike · 1 person
Sharon Samtur PEOPLE write books and tell of their Experiences..just as people here do.
April 21 at 1:08pm · Unlike · 2 people
Sharon Samtur Do you have to touch a hot stove to learn by EXPERIENCE not to do it or can you learn that from the experience of someone else and be wise and not hurt yourself on the hot stove to learn. The wisdom is in the discrimination of whose experience can teach wisdom. If one cannot learn from others, one is self-centered and without wisdom. Sounds, Carmen, like a teenage rebellion…
April 21 at 1:13pm · Like · 1 person
Robin Harger Hi Paresh, we have not conversed much at all but I take the opportunity to do so now because I think we may have something to say to each other. I very much like the tenor of this post of yours because for one thing it emphasizes that all w…See More
April 21 at 2:11pm · Unlike · 2 people
Julia Day Hello my luminous Brother ♥ inside a medium of beautifully articulated words and images upon a screen, the intimate Being/Paresh cries out for authenticity, Presence & honesty through direct experience of the True Teacher within ♥ …. but…See More
April 21 at 7:34pm · Unlike · 3 people
Alyce Walker Paresh, I simply love this. And you for speaking and sharing your heart so clearly. Much love. ♥
April 21 at 7:54pm · Unlike · 2 people
Alyce Walker PS– still catching up on your other notes, as I’ve been mostly off-line for a week. (Living my non-alien life) 🙂
April 21 at 7:55pm · Unlike · 1 person
Carmen Pentek Writing authentically comes directly from the heart. Considerations like “am I judgmental?” “am I politically correct?” “am I sounding mature or like a teenager?” just destroy the spontaneity and authenticity, it slows us down and already p…See More
April 21 at 9:58pm · Unlike · 1 person
Julia Day dear Carmen, to clarify where i am coming from, metaphysically, its not about what others think or social convention, etc ~ In truth, there are no others, only my projection of a “them” … so what i think about others comes right back at m…See More
April 21 at 10:43pm · Unlike · 4 people
Carmen Pentek Oh, yes, Julia. Agree with you. Had other comments in mind, not specifically yours 😉
April 21 at 10:44pm · Unlike · 2 people
Carmen Pentek One more thought came up when re-reading Julia’s comment where she said that judgment would lead to suffering…

I can not speak for Paresh, just speaking for myself now, because I very much agree to Paresh’s note and feel that he perfectly …See More
April 21 at 11:29pm · Unlike · 2 people
Julia Day ‎(( ♥ )) yes, it was a rung in the ladder for me too 🙂
April 21 at 11:35pm · Unlike · 3 people
Aly McDonnell ‎” Buddha’s truths were living truths for him, they are not living ones for you. Since when have you made them your own? Since when have you lived them?” Nicely said, Paresh. I enjoy some reading, but a living, breathing, flowing truth is not just old words.
April 22 at 5:10am · Unlike · 3 people
Sharon Samtur Learning, growing, fully living is the path..whether one learns from a book, another’s experience, one’s own.from a child or a wise elder or a tree or leaf or bird or Holy Book .. the key is the learning .. and learning made real is made vi…See More
April 22 at 12:30pm · Unlike · 2 people
Sudhir Jain instead of encouraging a child to learn walking if we keep telling him why are you imitating me and why are you borrowing my walk then he’ll be confused about how to develop my own way of walking or for that matter speech, don’t we help a c…See More
April 22 at 12:31pm · Unlike · 2 people
Carmen Pentek I think it is always a mix of both, Sudhir. Of what we learned from others and what we have made out of it. Even such a simple thing like walking is different from person to person, you will not find two identical walks. I understood it mor…See More
April 22 at 1:29pm · Unlike · 3 people
Sharon Samtur There is diplomacy and then there is respect. Diplomacy can be a masking of truth – not good. To be respectful is always good.
April 22 at 1:33pm · Like · 2 people
Aly McDonnell I think, maybe, the point is: Do the words kindle some spark of life, some recognition, resonance or real experience… so that one is not just spitting them back out as “wisdom” but seeing something for oneself? Then the words begin to breathe.
April 22 at 5:50pm · Unlike · 5 people
Aly McDonnell PS: Then one can use one’s own words…or rest in the silence 😉
April 22 at 5:51pm · Unlike · 5 people
Irene Harvey i think what you are saying is that there are those who quickly jump from perception to conceptualization without allowing the perception to flower & flow. it’s a tricky area. very difficult for people to truly, authentically be themselves & this becomes obvious in every spiritual/religious group because seekers attempt to live through concepts, ideas & beliefs.
April 23 at 4:15am · Unlike · 4 people
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Thank you Irene, for liking and commenting on this article.I see you rarely on my page these days,even though I tag you in most of my articles. Do you have any problems in resonating with them ? If so, I would love your criticism of them.Yo…See More
April 23 at 7:11am · Like
Sudhir Jain I really liked the statement made by Sharon Samtur filled with enlightening wisdom “There is diplomacy and then there is respect. Diplomacy can be a masking of truth – not good. To be respectful is always good.”
April 23 at 10:54am · Like
Carmen Pentek One point was not clearly uttered, yet. I don’t know about other people’s experience, but I have many times experienced quite arrogant reactions from the so-called non-dualistic people. There was no dialogue possible unless I take over thei…See More
April 23 at 3:26pm · Unlike · 1 person
Sudhir Jain opinions should not be taken as arrogance Carmen your opinion about me can be anything but is it true or not that I have to decide if it is true then it helps me to improve myself and if it is not then it does not matter at all and about ego yes there cannot be any existence or this worldly play without ego, show me an ego less person, me, you or for that matter anyone.
April 23 at 3:54pm · Like · 1 person
Sudhir Jain It is the greatest challenge for human beings to conquer or eradicate ego because we cannot find it’s roots so where will we put the treatment and if we put the treatment at wrong place then it is useless.
April 23 at 3:59pm · Like
Sudhir Jain accepting the above fact can somehow mellow down the ego i.e. ego can be turned in to positive ego( helpful for the society) if practiced correctly continuously for a long time.
April 23 at 4:04pm · Like · 1 person
Carmen Pentek Dear Sudhir, my comment was not a reaction to yours. It was a reaction to my experience with people who think they own the truth. It does not matter whether they are Catholics, claiming that “only through Jesus” one can find the truth or no…See More
April 23 at 6:14pm · Unlike · 1 person
Aly McDonnell Well, you certainly started a conversation, here, Paresh!
April 23 at 7:28pm · Unlike · 1 person
Sudhir Jain I was talking in general Carmen it was not “I” whom I was talking about, different religions are made because of different notions and paths for finding the ultimate truth so there is no need for questioning anybody’s belief because there a…See More
April 23 at 7:29pm · Like · 2 people
Irene Harvey dear paresh: it is a luxury for me to have time for facebook. the busy weeks fly by. whenever i do go on, i try to respond to all the notes, & i know i fall short quite often. your notes are always intriguing & i hope that you do not stop tagging me. it is simply a question of time, not resonance.
April 23 at 8:01pm · Unlike · 3 people
Carmen Pentek Dear Sudhir, I was indeed talking about the attitude of “I found the truth and know how to reach it. All other paths are wrong.” I encountered this attitude among many Christians, many Muslims and many Non-dualists. One more thing that anno…See More
April 24 at 4:08am · Unlike · 3 people
Sudhir Jain You are very correct Carmen in stating the above fact but point I was making was little different carmen i said the definition and understanding of the truth with each person is different so why become irritated or perturbed by their reaction to WHAT IS and let them be and we keep moving on our desired path.
April 24 at 4:26pm · Like
Carmen Pentek Yes, at the end I just move on on my own path, you are right. Maybe a little disappointed that dialogue was not possible and that I could not make myself understood. You inspired me to write a note about that topic, why we can sometimes simply not make ourselves understood, why communication at times simply fails, thanks for the inspiration, dear friend.
April 25

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Last night I achieved something impossible. I was working on my computer, editing an article while being on the Facebook page. My chat window popped open and I was invited for a chat by a woman of my country, India. Suddenly out of confusion as to what to do, whether I should continue with my editing of the article or should I participate in the chat, I pressed a wrong key that took my article out of sight and her page came up on my screen. I panicked, lest my labor for the last hour or so get wiped out as I had not saved them. So immediately I brought my page back and saw to my relief that my labors at editing have not been washed away. I admit I am almost a computer illiterate. Now I was sure, I knew what I should do first. As if this little drama was enacted for me to make my priorities clear for me. I minimized the popped open chat window to a corner of the screen and went on doing the job of editing my article. I thought If she stayed on the chat at the other end till I finished editing, then it would be fine to have a chat with her, but if she left while I was not through with the job, then, well, it would be fine for me too. After about twenty minutes I was finished and finding her still in wait I took up to chatting. To her “Hi” of twenty minutes ago I replied with a “Hi” of mine. I thought she might have forgotten me by then and she might not notice my reply. Any way I was prepared for anything. A few seconds later she replied, “ After so long ?” With a smiley sign at the end of the sentence, which I cannot reproduce here though at least four friends have instructed, at various times, how to create these various kinds of interesting signs for all occasions. I have already admitted that I am an incorrigible computer illiterate. Lol. Now it was my time to explain or beg excuses.
I replied,” I was held up in editing one of my articles. So I couldn’t immediately respond.So please forgive me.”
She wrote,” I know from the article you wrote yesterday that you don’t like chatting, so I am also having some uneasy feelings to make you do something you don’t like.”
I replied,”It is not that I don’t like to chat ever or I am against chatting. But you saw how I kept you waiting till my job was finished. I too was feeling guilty all the while as I was conscious that you were in wait. If I had left my job at hand and chatted with you, I would have lost the ideas that I wanted to write. So very few people would understand my dilemma…”
She replied,” I do.”
I wrote,”Thank you. That is nice.”
Then she came to the topic straightaway. She wrote,” Your article “Sex and The pity’’ was great. Every woman would internally agree with what you wrote there, would agree 100 per cent with the woman who dared to open her intimate experiences with you. I say that is the inmost feelings of everywoman though very few would come forward to speak it in public.”
I replied,” Why don’t you write as much as a comment under the article itself so that many others would see and be benefited by your insights? Seeing you come forward some more may get emboldened and follow you. ”
She wrote,” Because that would mean I am publicly declaring that that is what I believe in, I don’t have that much courage to own up such things in public.”
I replied,” When you feel it to be true inside you, then why fear to express it? Why be part of a hypocritical system, feeling deeply for something and expressing quite the opposite in public or just remaining silent. Why not be a voice of truth, instead, like the woman who dared to bare it all in my article?”
She wrote,” Because, as I said, I don’t have the courage. I have to live in a society which I agree hypocritical to the extreme. There will be much shame heaped on her who dares to speak the truth. I don’t have that much courage to endure criticisms.”
I wrote,”Maybe within the next twenty or thirty years at the most, both you and I would have turned into two small mounds of earth. When death is so certain and so near, what is the use of all this fear for criticism or condemnation?”
She wrote,”After death surely no harm can come in my way. But at the moment much can, when I am living. I want to leave in peace also”.
I replied,”O.k. As you wish”.
Suddenly she asked me a question out of nowhere, as it were,” What makes you happy?”
I replied,”Writing what deeply moves me as truth or what I deeply feel as truth inside.”
She then praised me for my courage to write what I deeply felt as truth, in some superlative terms which I would for the sake of modesty would not like to mention here. Then we ended the chat and said good night to each other.

But one thing I became certain of, due to this chat. That Indian women too, deep in themselves, do feel the urge to express their sexuality. There is a groundswell building imperceptibly which the hypocritical society at large one day will find hard to contain. The voices that now get suppressed or repressed for fearing reprisal and punishment would one day unite and cast off this final chain to their inviolable self to the Bay of Bengal and unite with their liberated and free sisters abroad in full expressions of their sexuality. The hypocritical attitude that talks of India as the land Of Vatsyayan’s Kamasutra and the graphic portrayal of copulating couples on the body of Khajuraho and Konark temples and parades them as its symbols of sensuality, liberality and tolerance while at the same time keeps the womens’ sexuality shackled and subjugated through draconian measures and practices will one day be forced to kiss the dust. Thereafter no Taslima Nasreen will be hounded from country to country for shelter and no fatwa for her head will be tolerated. No books will be burned or banned for expressing human sexuality. No lovers will be killed in the name of honor killings. Nor no man or woman will be allowed to be stoned to death or whipped in public places, as in some other neighboring countries, for loving each other, after giving them a bad name of committing adultery. Adultery, the name itself, will be considered as a relic of our barbarous past and hence will be thrown into oblivion like many such words have already been. No widow will be under tremendous social pressure to conform to the expectation that she should lead an asexual life.

My effort in that direction is just a beginning. Many abler writers and shapers of public opinions will surely be coming after. Some brave women too will emerge and lead their voiceless sisters like the one that talked to me. It will be a new dawn for a new era. Since when have we lived so far, without fear?

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Sometimes the curiosity in me gets the better of me and takes me into acts and directions that often get me into deep waters and then matters begin to slip out of my hands. On the throes of one such binges I decided to ask some of my virtual women friends about their past loves. I knew the risks involved, I might be immediately defriended which happened with a few to my misfortune. But the real risk was how to face the much dreaded question “ What is that to you, how is my past love(s) is ever going to be of any use to you?” I really had no answer to that, knowing quite well that “ I am just curios ” was not at all a satisfactory answer. But curiosity always got the better of me, this time too, rejecting all the checks and warnings of good sense, it prevailed. I was whirled into one of the most dangerous ventures of my life, dangerous because I am probably the only human being in the universe of Facebook who has 2400 or more virtual friends and none of them I have ever seen personally and not a single friend or acquaintance in my personal life is there among my list of friends because none of them is interested in whiling away his/her time in a non-remunerative medium as Facebook. Yes, this venture, or to be accurate mission, was dangerous to me because I loathe to lose a single friend of mine for any of my foolish or silly act. So I set sail for this dangerous expedition not without considerable trepidations and misgivings.

Two things, I decided at the outset, were no no for me. The first, I would never ask any female friend of mine from my own country, India. My earlier experiences with some of them regarding such trivial questions as “ What did her husband did for a living?” or “ Which state from India she came from ?”or “ Which state of US of A she had been living in?” only resulted in my getting defriended instaneously. I have already dealt with such experiences in my article “Two hundred days in the wonder world of Facebook and my experiences in it,” so I desist here from going into it in more detail. As I have a feeling that India could be taken as a representative nation for Asia, so no questions regarding this intimate matter was to be asked to any Asian woman either. This was from the start a clear no. Another realm of no was also there, it was my personal predilection. That was no chatting to be had with anyone. I am a bit hesitant to chat unless it is something urgent, or somebody whom I consider so respectable or so loving and wise that interaction of any sort with him/her is a privilege. Otherwise I consider chatting a waste of time, a burning of time whereas the same things could be conveyed in a relaxed manner through messaging to the inbox. Yes, invitations for chatting that pop open chat windows, like shrill phone calls, have a way of intruding into my privacies, my silences, my rapt attentiveness while reading some beautiful passages in Facebook and they upset or unnerve me unless of course some urgencies, some important messages have to be passed or received. So what I myself don’t like why should I inflict that on others? So chatting was out. Instead I chose messaging. Messages don’t pop open a window while you are working raptly at something else, they just wait there patiently and silently till you open and receive them into your silent loving space. You can also ignore them, you may even not open them and you can, of course, always delete them after or without reading them. They are the least intrusive of all communications and precisely for this I have rarely let go of any of my friend’s messages unanswered. I take time but I have always replied to all messages from friends where messages were not meant to sell me something but to know of something personally or mutually important.

Another thing. While going through the posts of friends in Facebook daily, I always kept a mental note of things people themselves wrote about themselves, their inmost private lives. That also helped me in getting facts almost free. If I had requested them to open themselves a little about their love lives, private lives, they might not have chosen to comply. Even those who discussed their private love lives in Facebook wrote as much as they only intended others to know, nothing more than that. Certainly, they had the right to divulge or not, as much as they wished. Here also my curiosity put me in dangers. One instance comes to mind. One day a western woman was discussing about something extremely private in her posts and about ten others were sympathizing and expressing their support and solidarity with her. I read minutely about what they were talking about but other than the fact that she got her divorce that day or the day before, I could understand nothing. These discussions were flashing on my screen as she was a friend. She had also very favourably commented on some of my stories and I had thanked her for it. So I took up the courage to ask her what was she talking of. She replied that she was date raped and in her confused state she had agreed to marry the one who had raped her. Afterwards, she had rethought the matter over and sought for a divorce on the ground that the man had raped her and she got the divorce. I asked her, “Why none was talking of the date-rape and only sympathizing you for the divorce ?”. She replied, “Because everyone except yourself already knew of that”. So far everything went well. Then my curiosity compelled me to ask a question which fell like a bomb shell on her and I was immediately defriended. To this day I am not sure if my question was an inappropriate or too nosy one or she was just over- reactive unlike the generally tolerant, liberal and open responses of the women of the west. My question was, “ I don’t understand you. Living with a man a decade long as man and wife after the date-rape incident, he having fathered your two children in the meanwhile and then one day after all these years you hulled him over to the court and sought divorce, pressing charges of date-rape against him ! Your excuse is that you had accepted marriage in a state of confusion. Is that fair and just?” Her reply, as I have already said, was not in words but a severance of all connection with me by defriending me. I miss her sometimes, she was otherwise a good friend; beautiful, vivacious, witty and charming. May be some cultural gap was there between us for me to understand her motive and issues involved in that action of hers that culminated in divorce, otherwise so many of her friends won’t be sympathizing and supporting her. Any way this risk of being defriended is what I have to accept as an occupational hazard; I don’t know how to control a curious mind that just wants to know everything, other than succumbing to it. Some good also ensues out of this inquisitive mind. I will give some such instances too.

One day I addressed to a western female friend my usual request for a summary, a story or a history of her past love life and the lovers that featured in it, if any. I profusely apologiged myself for harboring such a curious mind. I even held God responsible for giving me such a mind that loved to brood on love, loving and lovers instead of dwelling on Him only. She probably sympathized with me, for in her words I didn’t find any condemnation of me, my curiosity or my character. She only replied that she no longer was interested in her past lovers, neither they were in her. When I asked her how many lovers she had had in all, her frank answer left me flabbergasted, “ My lovers are strewn around in seven countries in Europe and one in Israel too. When I finally married a couple of years back, of course you know to whom, after having lived with him for almost a decade, he was not one of them. When I joined Facebook I invited all my past lovers to be my friends but none of them accepted. They all chickened out. So I have lost all touch with them. Now my concern is only with my husband and my children. They are my present and I don’t live in the past.” But my inquisitiveness got emboldened by her frankness and goaded me to ask for more and more. I knew the threat of being defriended was hanging over my head like Damocle’s sword and I loathed getting chopped. Yet I persisted. I asked,” If you had so many lovers in so many countries, you must have been quite wild in your youth? Won’t you tell me something about your wildness? ”
She replied,” What do you want to know ? Did I have sex with any of my past lovers? ”
I replied, “yes”.
She said, ” Yes, sex was part of the game. I had sex with most of my past lovers. You Indians are obsessed with sex in your thoughts, as you have very little opportunities or outlets. We Europeans and Americans are far freeer in that respect. We had sex as the situations both internal and external demanded it and as often as we wished. So I was as wild as any woman could be. But now that I am married and I have lovely children of my own, I have been constant with my husband only. No more wildness for me. I have told all these things to my husband after we began living together. He always thanks me for my wild past because as he says I could not have been so constant and loyal to him without my wild past. Now I feel as if all my wildness has been drained out of me. I will tell you one more thing, Paresh. Do you know why prostitutes become old so soon ? Why do they look so haggard in their old age ? It is because when a woman opens her womb (it is her word, though I am tempted to substitute it with another) to a man during sex, not only much seminal fluids flow out of her but also lot of emotions too; emotions of love, tenderness, pity, guilt etc. Those drain her out. Imagine that happening daily with her, with various partners and won’t she one day feel completely drained out? That was happening with me. I felt drained out after those years of sex with all my past lovers. I have put a firm stop to that. Now I have sex with my husband only and I feel that is adequate. I have no sense of lack”.

I had just one more question to ask thereafter. This time all my fears of being defriended had vanished like mist on the rising of the sun. The Damocle’s sword had receded to the farthest corner of my mind. So by the time I was preparing to ask my last question, an idea was beginning to crystallize in my mind that at last I have found my match, my competitor, my rival in her; as wild, as inquisitive, as experimenting as myself to the extent of jeopardizing her health, beauty, reputation everything to find out what was truth, what worked for her and what didn’t.

I asked my last question, “ If you could be content with one husband, as you said that after marrying you have never had sex with anyone else other than your husband, why couldn’t you be satisfied with one lover, I mean any one of those eight lovers “strewn around those seven European countries and one in Israel?”
She replied, to me now she appeared as a woman who is candor itself, no the Truth Itself, for if the Truth could speak in human tongue how else could it be speaking other than what she was speaking,”Paresh, I must clarify one thing first before I address your question. It is not that I have never fallen in love with anyone else after I began living with my husband. In fact I have fallen in love with one or two men after my husband and myself began to live together. But as the love in me arose for somebody else I became aware of it and before it could gather much force threatening my family, our domestic peace etc. I confessed it all to my husband without fail and together he and myself talked and sorted this matter among ourselves to both of our satisfaction. It never went out of hand and so these loves didn’t culminate into sex with those men. My husband has firm faith in me and has never blamed or condemned me for having these amorous thoughts about others. He is highly understanding and well-versed about the psyche of human mind that knows no bounds and rules. He is efficient and confident in his company work, he is mature in handling interpersonal issues, he is a good provider for us and fixer of all kinds of domestic things and appliances. I am lucky I have got such a gem of a husband. He is so sure of my loyalty to him and also he is so sure of his own worth. It never leaves me with any reason to go astray. With an unsure, suspicious husband things could have been different. I tell you I would have then shown him the wild side of me. Ha ha ha. Now let’s come to your question. Why didn’t I stick to any of my past lovers? I had tried to. In fact with one I had a live-in-relationship for a year. But it didn’t work like it hadn’t for two others. All my relationships failed. All for just one reason. All my ex-lovers were Mamas’ boys. You know you were always competing with their Mamas in everything. You will be always unfavorably compared with their Mamas. When you finally wanted to have your man to yourself he was mentally not available to you. In their minds they were always with their Mamas. My husband is not a Mama’s boy and he is always available to me. Just a couple of years back I did something that put him back by a quarter of a million Euros. Do you know when I was mortally sorry for what I did, he took it so casually by saying “ Forget that, that was just some money, nothing more. ” That is my husband and I am fortunate to have him and serve him in all ways”.

Thereafter I just needed one minor clarification. I asked,” Do you think only the Mamas’ boys are responsible for breakdown of relationships?” She replied,” No, in some cases Daddys’ girls too are equally responsible, equally disruptive and dysfunctional in relationships. I would never allow my daughters to get that close to their father, though he is a very good Dad to them. Girls are better when their Moms become their role models.That way few complexities will arise in future in their relationships.” To that I interjected, “Then this is a tough world for men. Both boys and girls get attached to their mothers due to the deep connection through breastfeeding and motherly care,affection and protections. But when they are grown up, girls continue that attachment and yet, as you say, they have got their Moms as good role models with no stigmas attached to them as Mama’s girls. While the boys, if they continue that bond and attachment earn the stigmas as Mama’s boys which tell on their relationship with their future spouses. It is a tough world for men surely. No wonder most of them are torn apart and succumb to the pressure and fail. I wonder what would have happened to you if the right man for you didn’t turn up at the last moment when one after another of your relationships had failed and you had almost reached at the end of your tether. Not all are so fortunate and almost none is ever so tenacious”. She replied,” God provides. The guru appears when the disciple is ready.Ha ha ha.”
I have to draw this episode to a close here. It was a wonderful experience for me in all, entertaining and educative as well. My love and respect for this remarkable woman now just fell short of worshipping her as the voice of Truth Itself. My friendship with her became even deeper than before. But I shall remain ever grateful to her for her frank,forthright, honest and straight answers on a topic into which millions would have feared to tread. It was a mark of her courage that she never requested me to keep her name out of it, or to keep it a secret or even to change it, should her messages to me ever found themselves in print for public consumption. It is only my sense of responsibility that forbids me to let her name out. I only wish the best for her. I would never want to see her suffer in any way in life. May God keep her and her family in peace and joy for ever. I hope her nonchallant and fearless attitude to life remains in tact through all the vicissitudes in life.

My encounters with some remarkable western women, who in spite of my so many obvious drawbacks received me as one of their own, will continue to be told and retold in these pages. God, please keep your merciful hands on their heads always because they are the best of all your creations.

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Elizabeth Wescott, Vanessa Hecker, Bisma Pandawa and 11 others like this.
Steven Steensels Nice reading you, Paresh. Besides the admiration I have for the lady you’re talking about, I also love your honesty, especially : “I don’t know how to control a curious mind that just wants to know everything, other than succumbing to it.” Makes me feel we must be brothers…
April 16 at 3:35pm · Unlike · 2 people
Caitlin Johnstone thank you for a lovely read. i believe i know why the lady who divorced her husband de-friended you. to a western mind that like to blame others for all of our problems (and, if possible, sue them 🙂 ), your curiosity sounds like an attack… she may not have known how to answer your question without sounding a bit silly, so she’d rather not answer it at all.
April 16 at 4:35pm · Unlike · 3 people
Gopalakrishnan Aum Pareshji I quite admire your writing, your candidness is quite refreshing. The Indian mind is quite confounded about the subject, probably because the social milieu so makes it. The majority of us hide behind a sanctimonious mask, while pri…See More
April 16 at 4:56pm · Unlike · 2 people
Elizabeth Patrick I am glad that one of your friends satisfied your curiousity without being offended. This is something that I would never discuss unless I was in an intimate relationship and he had a need to know.
April 16 at 4:56pm · Unlike · 1 person
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Liz, you know I love you for what you are. I loved the woman who dared to share with me and I also love you for expressing your sincere hesitancy about it. Who knows one day you may trust me enough to share your love life. Miracles do happe…See More
April 16 at 6:14pm · Like
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Steven, Caitlin and Gopalakrishnan,dear friends, how beautifully you have written ! It seems you have entered into the spirit of the story and found something true in there resonating with you. I am spellbound and overwhelmed by your response. A deep sense of gratitude to you all takes me over and I am all thankful and prayerful for each of you.
April 16 at 6:21pm · Like
Elizabeth Patrick Paresh, this is not hesitance on my part. I feel very strongly about intimacy and that it is not shared beyond the relationship. I don’t judge those who feel differently, but to me, intimacy is intensely private.
April 16 at 6:21pm · Unlike · 2 people
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj I know Liz, how you love privacy above all else regarding intimate matters. I also know how you love decorum and decency in words and actions. I love you, dear, for what you are. You are in that respect unparalleled and unique among my friends. May you be always in peace and happiness.
April 16 at 6:30pm · Like
Henriette van Staal you are a verry onest person,I find it ferry natural that you are so curious,espesialy the culture diffrence is tremndes with india and the west.thanks for the post.gr
April 16 at 7:27pm · Unlike · 1 person
Elizabeth Patrick Thank you for the peace and happiness wishes, Paresh.
April 16 at 7:45pm · Unlike · 1 person
Carolyn Wind perhaps each life lover/friend…whether sexual or not…has only lead us back to our very own heart~ perhaps..♥ thank you, Paresh~
April 16 at 10:07pm · Unlike · 4 people
Etya Krichmar What a great recount, Paresh. In my opinion, your question to the lady who befriended you was legitimate; but she might have thought it judgmental. Personal questions most of the times are difficult to answer for various reasons. One of the…See More
April 16 at 10:15pm · Unlike · 2 people
Etya Krichmar I for one would never discuss such a topic with anyone. My private life is mine and mine alone. I applaud the lady who was able to be so honest about her past lovers with you. I also applaud her mate, who was capable of turning her past experience to his advantage. One thing, I could honestly say to you that in my culture such a thing would not be acceptable. So there it goes, I said my piece, lol.
April 16 at 10:18pm · Unlike · 3 people
Bonnie Showers-Malanoski Nothing wrong with sex. A lovely element of the dream, the unfolding. Its all within it. What’s more, it never happened.
April 16 at 11:07pm · Unlike · 4 people
Elizabeth Patrick ‎@ Amal – I totally agree with you.
April 16 at 11:46pm · Unlike · 2 people
Amal Gupta Paresh…your presentation’s marvelous and candid…but the topic…well, it’s very personal for me…true, nothing’s wrong with sex….it’s part of life,there would be no life without it…and the so called “confounded Indian mind” as one…See More
April 16 at 11:49pm · Unlike · 3 people
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Liz, how come your agreeing with the comment of Amal, preceded his comment ? I am just curious.
April 17 at 12:33am · Like
Elizabeth Patrick It showed in my notifications on my phone before it posted to your note. Another eccentricity of FB……
April 17 at 1:01am · Unlike · 1 person
Amal Gupta ‎@Paresh: // Liz’s comment preceding mine //… simple… I posted my comment…Liz read it & posted her comment… I edited mine.. and then re-posted….
April 17 at 2:13am · Unlike · 1 person
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Thank you Liz and Amal for so lovingly obliging this curious cat. With all regards and thankfulness to the “inner guru” sitting within you and shining such bright light of wisdom and peace all around.
April 17 at 2:50am · Like · 2 people
Elizabeth Patrick Paresh, you think FAR too highly of me!
April 17 at 2:52am · Unlike · 1 person
Amal Gupta Hmmm… I see in my clock set for the Indian time, it’s almost 3 AM there ….. get some sleep buddy 🙂
April 17 at 2:53am · Unlike · 1 person
Elizabeth Patrick ‎5PM Saturday in the Southern US…….
April 17 at 3:35am · Like
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Liz, loving you as I do, how could I think any less of you than I do ? You know, only by thinking highly of you,no high is too far high when you are in love,I can gain entry into the indwelling spirit in you and feel at one with you and the world. Loving is my mission and calling too. Please accept it and feel the Oneness and joy along with it.
April 17 at 3:41am · Like
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Amal, I have spent many nights thinking of love and those great men like Ramakrishna, Sriaurobindo , Osho, Eckhert tolle etc. Tonight is one such night. I don’t feel the need to rest at the moment. I would rather love to drown in love for some more hours.
April 17 at 3:49am · Like · 5 people
Sharon Samtur Where is the line between curiosity and voyerism. There are, in this century, zillions of books, interviews, novels, personal confessions, treatises on relationships that are informative. Why pry into personal lives? Perhaps these sources..in every bookstore in the U.S. – Barnes and Nobles, Borders, etc. are not available in India? Even television- Oprah and lots of other programs deal with personal issues.
April 17 at 10:46am · Like · 2 people
Rodney James nONe OF uS would be here unless there were not things we are all workouting in ourlives.I met a infant that was here for 3 weeks then passed.That baby touched and healed 100 family member who hated each other before.The couple did have other children.I was a mechant seaman and for 13 yrs woke up in a different country every two or three weeks.But I have
April 17 at 1:33pm · Like
Rodney James not moved out of the same appartment for 2o yrs. I read now about the place’s Iv’e been too…now I have smells textures meetings,friends and some scare’s to fill in the cracks.Im kind of a Yogi ,Buddist, Christian…but really dislike the…See More
April 17 at 1:39pm · Like
Carmen Vera Oh, wow, Paresh, such a huge note and lots of familiar content – LOL. Thanks for the grand hommage, dear friend.
At the time when we had the discussion, though, I was under the impression that you were NOT satisfied with my answer, that you …See More
April 17 at 5:50pm · Unlike · 5 people
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Dear Carmen, all my homages to you fail far short of the real regards,love and devotion I have for you. Go on distributing your charms,charisma and wisdom on all that come in contact with you for ever. I am beholden to you for all the moral support you have always been providing to me. Glory be to God that has made you so.
April 17 at 6:58pm · Like
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Sharon, I am a voyeur too, I love peeping into peoples’ lives through keyholes in their mental and physical rooms. You would mostly meet me, if ever we at all meet, with my eyes firmly glued at those keyholes giving me unexpurgated views into people’s lives. If you feel spooked at this confession, then please put on a stopper at your keyholes and rest easy.You won’t be troubled any more. Ha ha ha.
April 17 at 7:09pm · Like
Susan Armaiti Zinowsky Thank you for the tag dear Paresh. I’m always touched by your honesty and childlike curiosity. I myself would share my personal experiences when I feel that the questioner is not only out for some kind of sensation but is truly interested i…See More
April 17 at 7:18pm · Unlike · 3 people
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Thank you Susan for appreciating this article in the spirit in which it was written.Thank you even more for volunteering to part with your private, intimate experiences on this, to me at least, most important subject. For me, only the truth…See More
April 17 at 8:07pm · Like · 3 people
Grace Mendoza Hi Sweet Paresh, You are yet another unique being from all the other “unique” ones that I meet with everyday in my life. Your desire to hear other people’s intimate experiences is probably no different than any other’s mind curiosity on a…See More
April 17 at 9:46pm · Unlike · 3 people
Carmen Vera Dear Paresh, now, after reading each and every comment I remember one person saying “nothing ever happened” or something similar.
This brings up the interesting “conflict” or question “who am I?” Am I still the person I was twenty years ago…See More
April 18 at 2:52am · Unlike · 2 people
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Thank you Grace for volunteering to share your private, intimate experiences with me. We have shared some such experiences in the past too. I have always held you in high esteem and love for your honesty and love of truth. I know how marvel…See More
April 18 at 6:55am · Like · 1 person
Paresh Chandra Mangaraj Thank you Carmen once again for commenting and sharing so generously and honestly. Honesty and truth are the only two currencies that circulate in the kingdom of our hearts where the beloved rules. You are one of the richest in there and I am just one of your spellbound admirers, a devotee of yours to be more accurate.Be there with me like a guiding light always, dear friend.
April 18 at 7:05am · Like · 1 person
Grace Mendoza Love you too my sweet Paresh!
April 18 at 8:26am · Unlike · 1 person
Carmen Vera Thanks, dear Paresh. Lets guide each other 😉
April 18 at 9:37pm · Unlike · 1 person
Elizabeth Wescott ♥
April 2

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About the author

I had always wanted to be a writer. I am thankful to modern technology that ultimately it became possible and I was able to publish through this blog and also at other places. Writing calms me, helps in concentrating my mind and so I consider it as not only spiritual but therapeutic also. When someone from the world outside resonates to my writing and makes me known of his responses that becomes a prized bonus for me. Melville wrote," Genius throughout the world stand hand in hand and one shock of recognition from one passes through all." We are here to know that shock of recognition that despite of our seeming diversity and multiplicity really we are one and similar. All distinctions are but imaginary.

I can be contacted at my Email address mangarajpc@gmail.com or at pareshmangaraj@yahoo.in

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