7 Genius Ways To Help Him Last Longer In Bed

Being early, fast, or quick is definitely impressive in most areas in life, like reading or running…but not in sex. In fact, if you've ever had sex with a guy who finishes too quickly, you know how much of a bummer it can be for both of you.

To be fair, the average duration of penetrative sex is estimated to be in the range of three to six minutes, says Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast. So, if your partner is in that range, they technically have a normal capacity for P-in-V sex. Still, if you (or both of you) aren’t walking away satisfied, that’s a problem.

Luckily, there are a few things you can do to help your guy hold out so you can both last longer in bed and reach the finish line.

1. Suggest a Pregame

Before having sex, make masturbation part of your foreplay. "Tell him you want him to watch you touch yourself, he will love it," says Emily Morse, Ph.D., host of the podcast Sex With Emily. Plus, it will help you get a head start and close the orgasm gap so that you're both on the same page once you’re having sex.

2. Try using a cock ring

Cock rings go around the base of his penis, usually around the shaft, testicles, or both, O’Reilly says. They add pressure to the base of his penis, restricting blood flow. That can then delay his orgasm, helping him to last longer. Plus, sex toys are always hot.

3. Do the ‘squeeze technique’

Have your guy pull out when things start to get intense for him and squeeze the head of his penis, suggests sex therapist Debra Laino, who has a doctorate in human sexuality. You don’t have to do it really hard, but just before he feels like he’s going to come, take a pause, and firmly put pressure on the shaft of his penis with your thumb and forefinger. The squeezing can help delay ejaculation, so you two can keep at it longer.

4. Switch positions

Most guys know when they’re about to orgasm, so have yours switch positions when he feels like he’s getting close, O’Reilly says.

You might even be able to tell what’s up and take charge: You can usually feel your partner’s testicles tightening and lifting more significantly as he approaches orgasm, she says. When a man has an orgasm, he has two sets of contractions with each contraction an average of 0.8 seconds apart from the other, O’Reilly says. Moving at this pace, or faster, and with a predictable rhythm can cause him to orgasm, so slowing down or changing up the rhythm can potentially delay orgasm, she says.

You might have to experiment here to see what works best for your guy. (Morse suggests trying moves like girl on top, which will help you control the pace.) Change things up a bit and talk about what he likes to reach a happy medium.

5. Take little breaks

No one says you have to go hard and fast the whole time, so put little stops and starts into the mix, Laino says. “While having sex, have the man pull out and rub his chest or kiss a bit, essentially calming down the excitement,” she says. “This actually brings a much longer experience, which breeds deeper intimacy.”

6. Have him do pelvic floor exercises

These aren’t just for you: Men can do them, too, and then can make a big difference in the bedroom. One Swedish study published in 2014 found that men who did a few months of pelvic floor exercises were able to improve their ability to control premature ejaculation. (Each of the men in the study suffered from lifelong PE issues.) So, encourage your guy to do some daily exercises while he’s sitting at his desk at work. (He basically just has to squeeze the muscles between his tailbone and genitals.) It could make a big difference, O’Reilly says.

7. Keep going

Just because he finishes doesn’t mean you have to, points out Rachel Needle, Psy.D., a sex therapist and licensed psychologist at the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida. Laino agrees. “Sex doesn't have to stop at an orgasm,” she says. “If the after-play keeps going, it is likely he will get another erection and last a little bit longer the second or third time.”

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