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Queen Elizabeth II taught the world last week a lesson on the importance of being consistent. To a world that loathes long term commitment, winces at the mention of staying together for a lifetime and expects everything in bite sized pieces that can be consumed now and experienced in a nano second , the long serving British monarch is a powerful lesson in the values depicted in the old world order.

Elizabeth II comes from a time that millennials and the children of the mobile phone generation cannot really relate to. She belongs to an era that even today, is truly relished. Just look at the outstanding success of Downton Abbey – the perfect depiction of an era when people had a sense of duty, empathy, traditional values and manners – that was popular for obvious reasons. We may not be too fond of such values on the outside but on the inside, they not only offer us insights into a time that was a lot less stressful but was also the very embodiment of what we may call the art of living and living well.

The Queen personifies this beautifully. Watch her from the time she ascended to the throne as a young girl to the grand celebration of her 90th birthday last week. Little is changed, you will agree. She still holds herself with perfect ease that not only comes from a royal upbringing but also a deeply seated sense of duty. She still behaves impeccably in the presence of guests and is never found to look or sound bored, fiddle with a phone when she thinks no one is looking as some of us are prone to do. She is the delightfully unchanged treasure she was all those years ago. Unchanged. In today’s world marked by versions and updates, in which nothing lasts longer than the next upgrade, Queen Elizabeth II is wonderfully endearing, beautifully consistent.

She can teach the world a lesson or two about keeping a marriage going, the importance of honouring the vows exchanged. Her marriage has lasted, she and the Duke of Edinburgh are a team ; they certainly have had ups and downs as everyone else, but their love, their commitment and their marriage has lasted. That must mean something to all of us. More so to the young who may find the concept of anything that lasts for a lifetime a tough act to follow.

The fact that she is truly a dignitary recognised by all – even the most tough, most anti-royalist leader is supposed to be awed in her presence – must say something not just about her status as royalty but the dignity and respect she has held herself with for all those years. She is not about celebrity status that comes instantly with half dressed photos bordering on pornography, instantly shared with millions of Instagram users for profit – she is about class, dignity and allure that cuts through the noise and fame.

Let’s face it – who are the idols today’s young have, ones they can look to with admiration? Very few – too many of them are idols by virtue of taking naked or semi naked selfies or bearing their body parts in various poses on the internet. Others have trouble staying committed – to a career, to a marriage, to commitment itself. In a temporary world, The Queen is a long lasting, trustworthy, reliable, consistent icon of everything the fashionably liberal modern day pundits look down upon. Her faith is important to her, her duty is priority, her commitment to her people and her country is paramount.

So you will agree that we have an absolute winner, a true heroine of the 21st century, one who is proud to keep working right into her Nineties, who is driven by loyalty and duty, a lesson indeed to us all. History someday will look back at Her story with lasting pride.

On Sunday the 03rd of April, it came to a team considered the under dogs in a hotly contested cricket tournament that had millions glued to their TV screens throughout the cricket mad world.

Darren Sammy who led the team from the Caribbean to the Finals against England, held in Eden Garden Stadium Kolkata, proved to the world that he was a man of his word. He believed in a victory when others doubted their ability to win cricket’s most prestigious crown currently. He believed in God – a devout Christian like most of his team mates, a fact he was proud to declare following their stunning win over England. He had nothing but praise for the boys who made it all possible. He had hope – not just a flicker, but the kind of hope that brims over and infects others around him.

Darren Sammy showed the world that nothing is hopeless until and unless you have taken it head on. Hope is what drives us human beings to achieve stellar success – it is the essential ingredient that keeps human spirit going even when everything else around you, as the poet said, is ready to quit.In the case of the men from the Caribbean, they had plenty of it going around. They never vacated their posts at being masters of hope. And it paid off.

The West Indian team also championed a greater cause. They were the happy-go-lucky team, always smiling, sharing a close sense of camaraderie all around. In a sense, they had perfected the art of having fun despite all the seriousness of winning cricket’s coveted title. They replaced the fun factor that seemed to have gone out from the game, with big bucks taking over and more and more strategic moves wrought with seriousness that belies the joy of playing a sport for the love of it.

Darren and the boys also gave a master lesson in humility that night. They were not just the unexpected champions but they were also humble as they dedicated their win to their fans back home. The cricket pundits had not expected them to rise up to the challenge of entering the Finals and stand tall enough to win. As Darren himself told the world in a speech packed with emotion, they were called no brainers at one stage – they had a point to prove. They knew they were champions inside. The world got to see it at the right time, the right way. When you know and believe that you have within you what it takes to be a champion, not even the world’s biggest and the best heavyweights can stand in your way.

The West Indies cricket team inspired us all with their win. Their victory affirmed that it is not always the most expected, the most favoured, the most likely that win. That there is always room, just enough, for hope to triumph amidst adversity. That tomorrow belongs to those who believe in their ability to rise above the tide.

May Darren and his team go on to inspire hundreds of youth in the Caribbean and elsewhere to give their very best.

When the whole drama of the little boy without a school ( forbidden word – HIV – he is not infected , it is confirmed ) unfolded, what broke my heart was the way in which the little tyke sat, alone and downcast, his face turned away from prying cameras. The little blue shorts and the crisp white shirt reminded me of my son’s first day at the school by the sea. Seeing adults trying to outdo each other in shouting out against his admission to the school of their children, made it worse. This was Sri Lanka. In the 21st century.

As the little guy waited with vacant eyes, there was the silence, loud and clear. Folk on social media argued , appalled by the agitating parents and the school authorities. It was a moment when Sri Lanka would showcase her heritage, her pride and joy, her cultural upbringing, her deep sense of hospitality and her hope for her future generations.

It took a school with a strong and deep Christian heritage from the hills of Kandy, to break the deadlock. And to stand up and tell the world despite the protests, the concerns, there were people whose ethics would not permit them to sit still and do nothing when the call was for sanity and for acceptance. To the end. Respice Finem. In the hallowed traditions of the Trinity College Kandy, the values imbibed within its precincts by men the calibre of Rev. Senior who loved Ceylon and composed the beautiful hymn for Sri Lanka, the tune of which is adapted for Danno Budunge, which caused a storm in a tea cup recently when the well known soprano Kishani Jayasinghe sang it.

And so Trinity it was. It was heartening to see the Principal of TCK sign a MOU with the Minister of Education Akila Viraj Kariyawasam in the presence of Bishop Dhilo, Bishop of Colombo. It was a brilliant move, Trinity – one that showed Sri Lanka and the world that as a Christian school built on values of humility, love and empathy, what it takes to make a difference is action not words. As empty words were exchanged between all parties, verbal swords were crossed and opinions aired, Trinity College moved in with deed, sealing the end of a poignant tale with agape love, as embodied in Christ’s mission to the world.

With a son who just left S. Thomas College, Mount Lavinia, I deeply appreciate the wonderful cultural mix of Christian schools,not just as a Christian but also a Sri Lankan. At STC or at TCK, and also at Ladies College where my nine year old daughter schools and all other Christian schools, the children have the opportunity to mix and blend wonderfully – Buddhists, Christians, Hindus and Moslems work and eat together, laugh together and learn together. To me, it is a truly beautiful representation of the multi cultural country Sri Lanka is. This little boy will get to experience a culture at TCK that is rich with diversity, that represents the true heart of Sri Lanka. Prejudice along racial and religious lines will be far from his orbit.

Thank Heaven for that.

He will have the opportunity to be a man of courage and conviction, a true Sri Lankan who someday, will give back to society what TCK taught him.

When the story broke, I looked around for any links that I may find in my immediate environment to TCK. And found some that made me glad to claim a distant yet a link nevertheless, to this great school – my uncles from my mother’s side , the Devendra clan, taught there. My husband’s clan, Dodanduwa Weerasooriyas have had and continue to have Trinitians among its members. Its most illustrious Weerasooriya was Arnolis Weerasooriya who left the college in early 20th century to serve God ; Arnolis is credited with the arrival of Salvation Army in Sri Lanka. The next illustrious member of the Weerasooriya clan to have graced the halls of TCK was David Paynter, whose mother was Anagi Weerasooriya, wife of Rev. Paynter. David Paynter’s beautiful legacy of murals are etched in the chapels of STC and TCK – brilliant creations glorifying Christ, from the hands of a true master. The chapel at Trinity College is featured on a stamp as well and is recogniszed widely for its uniquely Sri Lankan architecture. My father-in-law Maurice Weerasooriya was also a Trinitian, one of the many Christian boys from Galle who went there.

So Trinity, you made us proud. We salute you because you showed everyone that you could make a difference. Stand up and be counted.

” For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in” – Matthew 25:35

The perfect delivery of the much loved Danno Budunge in operatic style was done with both aplomb and finesse by Kishani Jayasinghe, a soprano whom we should all be proud to call a fellow Sri Lankan.

The story that goes even further, despite the ire of many social media users, is that the original melody of the Danno Budunge was the beloved Hymn for Sri Lanka, penned by Rev. W.S Senior back in the early part of the 20th century. The hymn is still sung in churches throughout Sri Lanka. Rev Senior was an educator in the style of pioneer men and women from Europe and USA who went out to the world – he was the Vice Principal of Trinity College Kandy and contributed immensely to that school.

This, really, is not about Rev Senior, the Hymn for Sri Lanka, Danno Budunge or the stellar reputation Kishani has as a soprano whose voice and talent has put Sri Lanka on the map. It is more about who we are as a nation, where we are and where we are going. About what values we are passing on to our children and in which ways we can connect to the rest of the world.

For some of us, anything western is anathema – but migration to a western country is not. It’s perfectly ok to have children here at home in Sri Lanka or elsewhere in the world who cannot pronounce Sinhala properly but it is not ok to sing a Sinhala song in any other style but the one it is sung in.

It’s ok to drink frizzy drinks and eat fast food – pay no heed to the mantra to return to healthier food and drinks of our forefathers. It’s perfectly acceptable to throw garbage and ruin the fragility of the scenic environment in Sri Lanka – or invite the dengue mosquitoes to breed with unclean drains and polluted environs.

But it is not acceptable for a Sinhala song to be sung in a different yet perfectly acceptable style loved by half or more of the world out there.

The list goes on – and the list is full of hypocrisy and phobias. After some 2,500 years we are supposed to be proud of – I recently came back from a visit to Polonnaruwa during which I took my 9 year old daughter around the ruins and we both fell swelled in our chests about the feats of our ancestors – we are more inward looking and insecure than we were during the days of kings.

The world runs on innovation. That’s the buzz word for economic, business, social and personal success. Granted we must be proud of our heritage and who we are – but we also must emerge as capable and relevant in the world of today. The ostrich mentality will only serve to sink us further – like some truck stuck in the sands of time unable to get its wheels out of the mire.

The world of today is not limited by race, creed, caste or religion. It combines it all, making a perfectly stirred pot of all nationalities that strengthens and reinforces the hope of humanity. The lyrics of the Hymn for Sri Lanka are penned by a clergyman who loved this land like his own and is buried here, and is set to lilting music by Deva Surya Sena, who pioneered the style of local and traditional singing of Sinhala hymns. The same melody is then transformed into the beauty of Danno Budunge and has enthralled generations with its simple yet profoundly sweet melody.

In a nutshell, this melody connects the nation at many different levels. To me,it embodies the spirit of Sri Lanka as we are – Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Moslem. The true spirit of a nation in which we all share the common space to grow, to work, to gather together to worship our God or gods.

When Kishani Jayasinghe sang Danno Budunge on 68th Independence Day, it was not the first time. She sang it last year, at a concert titled Kishani Sings With Friends – her rendition of Amazing Grace and Danno Budunge were applauded with gusto. But it took a post of her singing going viral to generate the kind of contempt that can only come from a deep sense of insecurity ingrained with a false sense of pride which is contrastingly different from the real love one feels for one’s heritage and identity.

For the generation of today who connect seamlessly via social media and the internet, the world is their oyster. They can relate to all kinds of music, which for them transcends all barriers.

Let us learn a lesson here from the young ones. And they surely have plenty to teach us.

Reading about some hotels in Mirissa refusing to serve Sri Lankan guests brought back memories of an era gone by.

It also brought back memories back when the civil war was in full swing and the only guests keeping the Sri Lankan hotels going were the Sri Lankans themselves. Even today, as much as I cherish every foreign visitor to Sri Lanka, whether backpackers who are plentiful or otherwise, I cannot help but be mindful of the fact that Sri Lankans still keep most of those hotels filled and the rooms occupied – just check whether you can get a hotel room in a luxury 4 star upwards hotel for the Independence Day weekend coming up.

Talking of discrimination, the actual reach of the whole thing goes much deeper than merely barring Sri Lankan visitors to a handful of hotels. One individual defending the gesture opined that he believed only unruly guests were unwelcome – in which case, the board must say so without mentioning “Only foreigners allowed’.

I can understand the part about unruly Sri Lankans – but what about hundreds of decent, law abiding, well mannered Sri Lankans who book into some of the most luxurious hotels not just in Sri Lanka but elsewhere in the world? Who has the right to make sweeping statements about all Sri Lankans when some of us can afford to stay at The Four Seasons and The Claridge without batting an eyelid?

In the West, as I write, a politically correct attitude in bending over backwards to deal with mass migration of a people from a totally different culture and background, has resulted in utter chaos. It seems impossible to get the two to integrate while still sticking to freedoms the developed world takes for granted.

Yet, out here, in this part of the world, we see some ‘expatriates’ who , it seems, are unable to shake off an out of place colonial mindset when they come out here into the tropics get used to a different lifestyle, a zillion miles away from everyday life back home. Of course not all of them – there are wonderful expats from all over the world who have fallen in love with Sri Lanka and find living here such a wonderful experience. They add colour, refreshing change and perspective to a lot of going ons here.

My focus is the others , ones who acquire some kind of an sahib avatar when they are out here. Maybe its the way some of our own people, stuck in a time warp that stretches back to Raj days, treat the expats – with some sort of an outdated reverence. I knew one lady from Europe who mastered the art of lording it over policemen, bank clerks, security officers and other locals down the line. She liked wielding the stick at them.

Some have become snobbish enough to develop a total Raj mentality, complete with a penchant for cucumber sandwiches and all. Can’t blame them when they get spoilt when they land out here – the wide appeal of Sri Lanka to the world is still somewhat stuck in period movies, with occasional delightfully antiquated glimpses of a past rich with colonial heritage. I love it too – but it all becomes too much when the sahibs and the sahibas start behaving like the characters in the period movies.

In a world in which an Indian from Chennai heads Google, one of the world’s most powerful companies and a Chinese founded one of the world’s biggest e commerce companies, colour and ethnic background no longer holds water in any area. Whether it is about serving Sri Lankans in hotels or otherwise, the world today by and large, is colour blind.

Yet, in a country such as ours, with some of us are still finding our way out of a colonial time warp, someone with shallow roots can easily get carried away into assuming that expats have some sort of a privileged position here. It can be an initial impression that is deceptive yet difficult to shake off when you go along with the perks of having help, someone to drive you, someone to do your grocery shopping and take care of the children. Harder when back home, you do all these things yourself.

Just walk around some sections of The Galle Fort – you will know what I mean. It’s difficult not to catch the drift there. Or hob knob with them at one of their favourite watering holes in the city and you will see the picture emerging. Not that I mind – I for one love the wonderful heritage the British left behind. There’s so much of colour and identity in the unique cultural mix we have had from the time when the Portuguese came on board and the Dutch followed. Yet, when it threatens to spill over to the common space we all call home here on this little island and emerges in a hundred little ways that send me warning signs of lurking discrimination, I get concerned.

I guess I have reason to be.

I am a citizen of the world – not just Sri Lanka. I understand and can relate to common issues we face and deal with everyday, no matter where you are from. I am sure you are too.

So the next time you feel the expat syndrome coming on, just take it easy and leave it at the door.

It starts with their first birthday. And goes on for a while. Under five years, the fuss of selecting a theme, the colours, the cake, the oohs and the aahs are strictly the mother’s purgative.

Post five years, your bundle of joy knows exactly what she wants. Maybe Dora, maybe Elsa or the entire Frozen cast..or maybe even Spiderman. But the theme is theirs and their choice. You just need to put together the colours, the napkins, the cake, the favours..oh you know what moms do when they organize birthday parties.

Then comes along nine and ten years and suddenly, the big birthday party is replaced with a smaller yet more meaningful affair. Only the family – maybe cousins. A themed cake still yes but less drama and certainly no costumes.

Over the years, we moms become experts in birthday parties. Right, girls?

The other day, a friend of mine who had a long awaited baby and was waiting to celebrate the first , the second and now the fourth birthday party was gushing about the horse themed party her little girl wanted. She had to hire two white horses and find carrots to feed them. She was running in circles – quite happily of course – in her pursuit to find horse themed napkins and invites.

My soon-to-be nine year old said very matter-of-fact that she didn’t want a mega party this time. As long as she had a surprise gift, cake on the table and a few close friends and cousins around to celebrate, she was fine with it. It was a relief – unless you have practiced it through the years, organizing a birthday party can pack a punch.

Which reminds me that post-twelve years, my son didn’t even want to bother us with the hassle of a party. Just dinner or lunch with a few close friends and a meal with the family. No thanks, don’t need the cake – and certainly not cup cakes for school.

There used to be a time when my daughter was so pre-occupied with birthday parties that she would actually cry when Happy Birthday was being sung for anyone – she thought it was always her birthday.

So, while on the topic, how do we organize a great birthday party efficiently. Maybe a few pointers thrown in would help.

Plan in advance.

Find the theme and get the themed stuff done well in advance – this helps you cut out stress as the party gets closer.

Plan the menu and the placements and of course the agenda.

Do your ordering early – the catering, the extras, the magic show, the clown.

Remember it’s a children’s party – some parents forget this and become totally stressed out.

Get ready to have fun along with the kids – they will love you for it.

Understand that your house will be messed up – it’s a kids party and there’s no telling where the kids might go even though you do have a specified area for the party.

If it’s outdoors, it’s better – more room for them to play and easier for you to clean.

So, in the end, we tuck in the memories of birthday parties, of love and laughter shared and treasured times when our children were just that, children..before they grow up and soon enough, birthdays become a card, a wish or just a sweet memory…

Growing up in the Seventies was a lot of things to a lot of people. AM Radio, bellbottoms, tight shirts and afro hair dos – and of course, great music. Music that has left its own indelible mark in the hall of fame, sealing its status forever. Seventies music. Sweet to the soul.

Music in the Seventies was also about many bands – but one stood out. The Eagles.

I still remember listening for the first time, to Hotel California and the New Kid in Town. The lyrics, some forty five years later, are still crystal clear in my head. The tunes stayed there too. For always.I would come home after school and still in my school uniform, take out my song book (we actually had song books then) and belt it out.

The legendary Eagle was Glenn Frey upfront – the man with the guitar. Of course, the others were there including Don Henley whose duet with Patti Smyth “Sometimes Love Ain’t Enough” was in itself a great hit but Frey stood out for his incredible talent and skill. The world is unlikely, in the opinion of a Sixties born woman who grew up during the Seventies, to see such talent again.

The Eagles marked a historic entry into music for me and my generation. Hotel California and the New Kid in Town were more than songs for us – they symbolized an era, they were anthems we sang in the shower and at home and believed in. We wore denim bell bottoms, rocked our hair, chewed gum and drank Coca Cola, moving with the rhythm. Those were the days without internet, smart phones and YouTube. The only music was heard on the Radio or on the vinyl or the cassettes. But we didn’t mind – the music was too great to complain about anything else.

When hell froze over and The Eagles returned to stage once again in their much celebrated reunion concert during the Nineties, it was a long Oh-my-Gosh-I-can’t-believe-it’s-real moment for the likes of me. They were back and they were The Band as far as it went. I would always watch re-runs of the CD, now hacked, of the line up playing Hotel California – Glenn and Don leading. What a moment it was.

They were and are strictly Seventies men. They didn’t do metrosexual appeal – they had plenty of talent to compensate for. And we loved them for it. The power of Glenn Frey’s voice, the strum of his guitar would forever be etched in our minds as the icons of an era during which the world heard some of the best music created ever.

Today, a generation later, my soon-to-be eighteen year old son, a product of the internet generation with all of the world’s music at his feet, chooses to play Hotel California with his friends. Will always carry The Eagles on his whatever- he- loads- his- music- on- to – the smart phone , the computer or the iPod.Frey on guitar. Nothing else would do because nothing else can even come closer.

It thrills me to know that my son’s generation can still appreciate and understand good music – despite all the noise that passes for music today. That when choosing tracks to play, they would still get drawn by the hauntingly beautiful melodies that rocked the world – from Hotel California to Take It Easy, Tequila Sunrise, Lyin’ Eyes, One of These Nights and many others. Oh, what music and what talent.

I remember the Glenn Frey track of “The Heat is On” from the Beverly Hills Cop during the Eighties. I remember picking up the vinyl from a record store in Bonn, where I was living at the time. Eighties were still great for music but it took a maestro like Frey to bring out a cutting edge hit – in a music scene dominated at the time by the likes of Madonna, Cindy Lauper and Spandau Ballet.

So, Glenn, what an inning it has been – for a talented young man from the Motor City whose life changed in 1970 – and in turn, he changed the flavour of music as we have known it, not just for one generation but many that followed.

Tonight, as the world mourns the landing of an Eagle, rest in peace, Glenn. May the turf lie gently over you as your legacy survives into many generations to come.