12/05/2007

On my personal Top Ten list of the Love blockers right at the top there ranges the feeling to be more worth than other humans - egotist. To love oneself is essential for the well-being. If this love gets out of proportion, and I imagine myself to stand over humans in my environment then the feeling of changes. It turns out to be a wall, which excludes other humans, which interrupts the free flow of energy.

Since this wall exists in my mind, my environment could tell only by the way I communicate them that I have a problem. If I meet an egotist, I quickly feel that I cannot reach him. A mutual exchange, a mutual helping is impossible. They float high above me from their point of view and I feel no need to be exploited. My experience tell me an egotist does not notice that he becomes continuously poorer. He derives his value from outward appearances such as possession, status, birth, physical advantages and other conceivable privileges.

Since the world is an energy flow, life energy flows off steadily from the egotist, without an equal flow in his direction. The water level in the pond of his vitality sinks imperceptibly. A standing waters develops, from which the egotist-smell stinks self-confidently up to the sky. We will sample the smell in our today's meditation with our astral nose.

The turning point for the egotist is the death experience. While he avoids the topic death and usually considers himself immortal due to his conceited special superiority, the first meeting with death shakes the egotist heavily. Everything, his value rely on, could be taken from him. Terribly. But I observe that the egotists make the wrong learning steps. The egotist explains; my death experience was:

Being to blame for others.

A unique experience.

The fact that I survived shows my unique nature.

If I have only little time, then I must exploit my superior status as intense as possible. I will leave nothing behind except burned earth.

And so on and so on.

If the Egotist would learn that all humans are equal in the face of the death, and that he lives now in the moment, in which he will die, then he would have a flowing connection to the world. He would love the world, each day would be a gift for him.

How can I examine whether I am an egotist? I go on my personal training distance. After I accomplished the preparing steps, I imagine acquaintance. I smell them. Quickly I find out that some of them smell unpleasantly. The smell is a product of mental hygiene lacking. There are humans too, who smell pleasantly. Now we get to the point. How do I smell myself?

I experiment with my feelings. How do I smell, if I feel superior? How do I smell if I feel revengeful? How do I smell, if I am fulfilled with love? Thus I quickly find out that there are unpleasantly smelling feelings, which I would assign to standing waters feelings. They restrain the flow of love.

What do I do, in order to clean me? Simple to do that. I imagine myself going through a landscape which I appreciate much. I give water to the plants, feed the animals and meet humans on the way with appreciation. As acid test I consider my feelings with my astral nose. Do I smell pleasantly? Then I made the exercise correct. The feelings found in meditation I will later recall in daily life again and again and let it influence my acting.

I am no native english speaker. I translate from german to english. So if you find out that some phrases are better expressed in another way, please don't hesitate to recommend text changes. Future visitors will benefit.