Sunday, October 30, 2016

I am motivated by music. In the beginning of my trauma I could only listen to Christian music. It helped me through each moment. It gave and continues to give me hope and motivation. The song that is motivating me this week is by Nicole Nordeman.."The Unmaking". Her lyrics will be in italics...

The Beginning

"This is where the walls gave way

This is demolition day

All the debris, and all this dust

What is left of what once was

Sorting through what goes and what should stay."

My wall gave way when I found the letter that my husband had filed for legal separation after decades of marriage. Yes, there was debris and dust and there still is. I will be sorting through this debris probably the rest of my life.

The Journey

"What happens now

When all I’ve made is torn down

What happens next

When all of You, is all that’s left."

What does happen next? All that you dreamed and planned has been thrown away. It was devastating in the beginning. You feel entirely alone and don't know where to turn. I have found that is when it is best to give it to God. That is the place where you learn to trust God, in the darkness.

The Joy

This is the unmaking The beauty in the breaking

Had to lose myself To find out who You are

Before each beginning There must be an ending

Sitting in the rubble I can see the stars

This is the unmaking

The joy comes in finding myself and finding that God is always with me/us. I did search for beauty in the rubble. She saw stars and I saw flowers:-)

"I’ll gather the same stones where

Everything came crashing down

I’ll build You an altar there

On the same ground."

I am still working on that but it is coming together. My hope is that I can build an alter by letting others out there in the same boat know that they are not alone. If in fact that is what God has planned for me. Totally up to Him, but I will work in that direction until he points me in another. Following his path does bring Joy.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Yes, I am still on the first episode. There is so much good stuff in this show.

There is one quote that I have heard often which was also voiced in this episode. In relation to the lies and deceit of her cheating husband Grace said "It would have been easier if you died". I understand that. It is not that you are wishing they would have died, it just would have been easier. Death would have been hard and the wound would have cut deep but it would not have been an intentionally inflicted wound with little regard to how it would harm or devastate another person. I call it...

"Divorce is like a death but with intent."

KathieyV

If you find yourself in the same or similar situation as Grace, Frankie, me, and many others just hold on. You will get through it. Remember God's promise.

Monday, October 17, 2016

First off what is perseverance? Perseverance-steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

Here are two quotes on perseverance I found in Writers Digest that I can relate to.

"The best way out is always through"

Robert Frost

For me, in the beginning, as related to separation and divorce, I did not want to "go through". I was hoping if I did nothing it would just go away. It took some time but I realized that was not the wise response. I had to do something. I had to get up and address the problem. I had to "go through".

"If you fell down yesterday, stand up today."

HG Wells

Yes, I fell down. Down into fear, sadness, and depression. I was lost. I have slowly learned to stand. The teachings that were found in the "falling down" have been immeasurable.

I like the quote that my friend Amber sent me in the early days of pain.

"If you're going through hell, keep going"

Winston Churchill

Yes, I was going through my own personal hell. With the help of my faith and my friends I was able to keep going and you can too.

The last 2 sermons I have listened to have touched on the fact that many of us feel disconnected. Just what is the definition of disconnected?

I am sure there are many life events that leave us feeling cut off or disconnected. For me it was the end to a very long marriage. For you it may be something else. Whatever the circumstance it is a comfort to know that we are not disconnected from God. Please remember His promise

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About Me

I don't know I arrived here but here I am. I will soon be divorced after 37 years of marriage. I have known for about 4 weeks. It came as a complete surprise, you could say I was blindsided.

This blog is hosted by a Christian woman going through separation and soon to be divorce that is unwanted, unwarranted and unnecessary. It will be an honest and painful account as I go through the stages of grief and hopefully find peace through my faith. I know it will not be easy. I have lost weight, lost sleep, cried everyday and I am showing physical symptoms related to this stress, all the while I am still trying to hold unto God's promise that he is beside me. Not easy.

This will not be fun but I know there are many others out there in the same boat as me. Hopefully we can grow together.

I host another blog....http://kathieysworld.blogspot.com

where I will be attempting to get back to my routine of enjoying my life. I have not done will with this one lately due to my state of mind hopefully I will be able to find joy again or at least be able to fake it.

Please bear with me as I get this blog set up. I am in a bad way.

KathieyV 2013

About Me

Going through an unwanted unnecessary divorce from Joe Voshell who was a pastor at Hope Creek Church in Durham. Found out a lot about the person I thought I knew for 37 years. But…..that is not what defines me. My faith, my family and my friends keep me going. I love photography, blogging, reading, exploring, cooking, and the list goes on and on:-)