Research + Cheese = Cheesearch

A bored Amanda is a slightly dangerous thing. Not dangerous in a “let’s go rob a bank!” way, or even a “let’s get into a rumble with a gang of knife-wielding possum!” way. It’s really more of a “that thing you’re doing? It’s strange.” way.

When I found myself bored and plan-less on a recent Friday night, I did what all red-blooded twenty-something Americans do: I decided to engage in some formal scientific research. Naturally, I didn’t want the research to be dull, so I chose a topic that greatly interests me.

Cheese.

Right away, I realized that cheese can be smushed into the word “research” in order to create “cheesearch.” You’re welcome. I thought it was a pretty good scientific finding all on its own, so I considered calling it quits on the rest of the research, because it clearly wasn’t going to get any better than that. Nevertheless, I persevered.

I elected to conduct my research via a certain educational and evidence-based website known as “Urban Dictionary.” Well-meaning and science-appreciating people can submit their definitions of the slang words that you can’t typically find in a normal dictionary.

Urban Dictionary started out as a way to help less-hip folk keep up with the grooviest of young people. Of course, with time, the definitions have gotten grosser and more perverse because it’s the Internet, and the Internet ruins everything.

Willing to take on the wickedness, I bravely ventured to the site in order to research the various meanings of the word “queso.” If you’re confused as to why I’d do this, please re-read the first paragraph of this post.

Things started out innocently enough…

Points for simplicity and accuracy. And for the word “gringo.”

I soon learned that there is a name for people like me.

I’d really like to meet that John fellow.

I even gathered some healthy dinner ideas!

Save the baby tortilla chips!

Then I started to worry, because I was drawing some mental connections to the definition of alcoholism. Get out of here, knowledge of addictions! We have no use for you here.

And this is when the definitions started to get a little unusual, though not entirely inaccurate…

Just find someone whose breath smells like chips, and you’re good.

Okay, now we’re definitely headed down a weird path.

Oh. Oh.

This one scores points for the geography lesson.

Honestly, these last few weren’t even the strangest of the bunch, but I don’t think I should contribute to the corruption of all of your minds. That’s a lot of mind-damage, and I really don’t want to get another call from the FBI wondering why I continue to disturb people. If you’re still up for a little corruptin,’ feel free to mosey your way over to Urban Dictionary and see for yourself.

I think we all learned some important vocabulary here today! Who are my fellow “quesophiles” out there? Have any of you tried a delicious (and apparently economic-friendly) queso salad, or endured a terrible quesover? What other Urban Dictionary searches have you done?

Ha! It’s funny, because I didn’t know it was that big of a thing either. I know lots of us love queso, but when it comes to being totally obsessed, I thought it was pretty much just my friend and me haha. I don’t know if there are conventions, but there are cook-offs!

As much as I love cheese, I can’t say that I identify as being a quesosexual haha. The ones I chose not to include were much worse though! And I love that idea of incorporating that lovely slang into your vocabulary 😉

If Joey could make “Grandma’s Chicken Salad” sexy, you KNOW he could do the same for melty cheese!

I may not be as big of a queso person as you, but I’m pretty dang close. Extra cheese on pizza, cheese sandwiches, cheese sticks, even cheese on bagels are some of my favorite things. I would pretty much die if I had to take cheese out of my diet.

Ohh I recently discovered cheese on bagels! I decided to spread one of those laughing cow wedges on a plain toasted bagel, and then topped it with some ham. Delish. I ate it for every meal for a few days, and now I never want to to look at it again lol.

I’m totally with you on the instant death by no cheese. Cheese makes life worth living. I guess the “quesophile” thing would probably apply to us…

I’m sorry for the delay in responding! I just learned that WordPress sometimes marks comments as spam, so I checked my folder, and your comment was in there for some reason. I “un-spammed” you, so hopefully it won’t happen again. Thanks for stopping by – there will definitely be more cheesy silliness to come 🙂

Exactly. I think I’m probably safe discussing “queso” in the US, but if I ever go to a Spanish-speaking country, I’ll avoid the word at all costs. I don’t want someone to misunderstand my order in a restaurant 😳