Things That Are Currently Pissing Off My Toddlers

Toddlers become furious over some whack things. Most things that anger my twins have to do with a moment of my happiness. My happiness and comfort seems to really cheese them off these days. The terrible twos is no joke…having a 6 and 8 year old as well I already know that this is just the beginning. The f**k-you-threes are right around the corner. I better buck up and get used to being a slave to angry two foot humans for awhile.

Things that make my twin toddlers surge with rage…

Me sitting down. I need to be roaming the hallways or standing within ten feet of them at all times. If I sit down or GOD FORBID lay down-they are furious. Sometimes I just lie in the toy room surrounded by crumbs, dog hair and Shopkins and count. It is usually about ten seconds before one of the twins waddles in, sees me off of my feet and is downright mortified at the sight. How.Dare.I.

When the IPAD runs out of battery, isn’t playing U Tube or doesn’t have full volume. Should these things occur we are all in for it. The screen addition is really out of control at this point and I am singing Wheels On The Bus and Daddy Finger in my sleep now.

Whoever does NOT have the pink pacifier is a raging psycho. A lot of biting and scratching goes on between those two over the pink pacifier. This is new guys, the pinky paci rules the roost. Can not WAIT for the big “no paci” transition coming up here real soon. Time to up the Xanax.

Being strapped in to anything. Carseats, stroller, highchair…pissed.

When I won’t allow them to strain their Cinnamon Toast Crunch out of their bowl and smear it all over my new counter tops. This also goes for oatmeal. STOP PAINTING WITH YOUR DAMN OATMEAL.

Waking up…

Going to bed…

ponytails are assholes…

When I refuse them cookies first thing in the morning. Kids if anyone gets a cookie at six a.m. it will be mommy.

When the car stops at a red light. How dare I stop the car and save our lives. Hazel just yells, “goooooooo” until the light turns green. Traveling is super relaxing these days.

Sharing. Nope. Nope. Never.

When I try and use the cell phone that they confiscated hours ago, used all the data on, smeared graham cracker all over and then hid.

When I close the bathroom door to pee. This is highly offensive to my toddler twins. In their minds it is basically the same thing as abandoning them and giving them up for adoption. Apparently peeing alone equates to not loving your toddler.

Making meals. There is a zero chill factor when I try and cook around here.

Lastly…the word NO. Don’t you dare use this word around the twins.

Moral of this story. Twin toddlers are challenging and everything makes them cry and whine. Nothing I do is right and they are pissed all of the time.

Kristin McCarthy

Hi friends! I am a 34 year old Stay-at-home mom of four girls including identical twin toddlers. I really excel at Pinterest fails, writing and keeping the kids alive and somewhat happy. Blogging is a new adventure for me and I am really excited about it. I hope you enjoy reading about parenting from this mama's perspective as much as I enjoy writing about it.

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