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7.5 months in and frustrated

I apologize, in advance, for the whininess of this post. I'm feeling frustrated and need to vent a little.

First of all, it's hard having a baby who is super laid back about nursing AND having a slowdown in growth. I feel like life would be so much easier if she was ultra-demanding (I know, the grass is always greener...), because then I wouldn't feel so much pressure to "make sure" she's getting enough.

Basically, my 7.5 month old daughter would probably cue around 5-6 times a day. I say "probably" because I honestly don't know, since I've always offered way more than that to keep her up in the 9-11 times per day range. I know that's typically the recommendation in order to ensure they're taking in enough milk, so that's what I've always done. However, she often only nurses a very short time because she just isn't hungry.

Part of my frustration is because I've gotten different advice from a well-known breastfeeding doctor. He told me I should only feed on cue, even if its only 5 times per day, and that as long as she is swallowing well for several minutes per feeding, she's getting plenty. His suggestion as far as some slow growth she's had was to increase my domperidone (which I started on his suggestion to increase my "flow" because of fussiness, not because of weight or diaper issues). His feeling is that more milk in my breasts will mean more weight gain, which makes sense. However, I feel like my daughter already leaves behind milk at nearly every feeding (I know they're never empty, but I can easily express each time after she eats). It's just that she simply doesn't want more. She's NEVER in satisfied or fussy after feedings.

I don't know. I think my anxiety is flaring up.

Anyway, her weight gain was fine until her 6 month check up. She went from 13lbs, 10oz at 4 months to 15lbs even at 6 months. I know growth slows down, but she gained way less than even the minimum average for that age range. Then, at 6months 3weeks, she went in for a sick appointment and was just at 15lbs, 5oz. Granted, she had RSV, so her weight gain was probably reflective of being so sick.

All of this to say, I'm tired of engineering our days worth of feedings, if you know what I mean. I can count on her not cueing, so I basically plan out when I'm going to offer. I think through errands we need to run and plan her feedings accordingly. It just seems so abnormal. Is there a better way to approach this situation? I obviously drop everything and feed her if she does cue (and embarassingly, I don't even know for sure how she cues anymore). But she'll go hours happily if I don't offer her to nurse. Then, most of the time, she'll nurse less than 10 minutes. I can feel my letdowns and she pretty much always gets at least one, so maybe that's plenty?

I feel like I'd have a lot of peace if I did a day or two of pre and post weights, but the closest BF scale to rent is 3 hours away. I've honestly considered driving there, renting it for a day and staying overnight in a hotel just to have an idea of what her intake is. Then I could rest in knowing she's getting plenty of milk in this crazy way I'm having to feed her. And her weight gain is just who she is and not a factor of not enough intake.

Did I mention she is still super distracible and won't nurse in public at all? For that matter, she won't nurse in our living room if the family is home because she's so distracted. That could be because she just isn't hungry all of these times I'm offering her to nurse! Argh!

Should I just back off and only feed her on cue for a while?

Sorry for the vent. I'm just so anxious for her 9 month checkup...and it's 6 weeks away!

Re: 7.5 months in and frustrated

If it gives you piece of mind do it. But do you live near a target? You can order a baby scale from them use it for s week or two until you are satisfied and return it in store (going to a hotel is going to change babys routine etc. so wouldn't likely be a true measurement). However, a nursing holiday might be of some help. Go to a hotel for a weekend and just skin to skin nurse constantly.

Re: 7.5 months in and frustrated

Define normal weight gain in a breastfed baby past the 6 month point? My son only gained about 2lbs total between 4.5 and 9 months. He went from gaining 14oz a week EVERY week to only gaining about 3.5 oz. He slid 25% on the charts. I call normal. Walk around with your top off. Play on the floor with your top off. Let your child do "drive by" feeds while playing. And don't trip. Even stalled weight gain at the is point wouldn't worry me too much. They are MOVING so much MORE than they were before at this point.

Re: 7.5 months in and frustrated

Thanks for your replies!

Mtryingtodoitall - can you get a breastfeeding scale from Target? Like a Medela one that would be accurate enough for pre and post weights? I own a baby scale that weighs to the ounce, but I wouldn't consider that one accurate enough.

Djs.mom - I've been looking at Kellymom for weight averages. But I acknowledge that those are just averages and plenty of healthy babies are above or below them.

I guess I'm just so tired of feeling like I'm in charge of her getting enough, since, if she only nursed 5-6 times, she'd likely not take in enough. (On a side note, I can't understand the doctor's recommendation, then. How could a EBF baby take in enough ounces in just 5-6 feedings? Unless I had a huge storage capacity...?)

I know my anxiety (and honestly, my feeding fatigue) has to do with my son's experience (26-week preemie who had extreme feeding issues and was exclusively tube-fed for 3.5 years...and only last year did he wean from the tube). I feel like I've gone from worrying that he'll take in enough orally to wean from his feeding tube...to worrying why my daughter doesn't want to eat more/more often! Ugh. I'm so tired.

Re: 7.5 months in and frustrated

I've been reading "getting your child to eat, but not too much", and the biggest takeaway I have from it is that at any age most babies (children, people) can in fact regulate their own intake if healthy food is regularly offered. When parents impose their stress/anxiety/schedule on the child's feeding, it usually does more harm than good. So you probably do want to keep offering, but take her word for it if she says she's not hungry. Or she just wants to nurse briefly.

I've always been a bit suspicious of drugs to increase supply unless they're really really necessary. I don't give my big kid milk from drugged cows, why should I give my baby milk from a drugged mom? Of course if you can't produce otherwise you should do what you have to do, but if supply isn't the issue, then why would supply drugs be the solution??

As for the anxiety/exhaustion, it is intense, isn't it? I find that the best answer to anxiety is trust. Trust your body, trust your baby, trust the process. Be willing to let things be okay. You can do it!

Re: 7.5 months in and frustrated

Hi,
Am a first time mom , but pretty much in the same boat as you. Got the same advice regarding medications too. Was here a week before. But thanks to some of the experienced mammals here have stabilised a bit. My dd is pretty much the same only thing as the pp said was that it was my job to offer and theirs to take. I trust her that she would not starve herself. Keeping a watch on her and her weight,besides doing everything from my side. Definitely feels bad when she she rejects a feed but realise that she has better things to do . So hang in there .