Healing Your Church Hurt – Book Review

How many of you have ever suffered emotional or spiritual wounding as the result of attending church – the very place that’s supposed to draw you closer to God and deepen your relationship with the Body of Christ?

I have. For years, I grappled with the devastation I felt from being abandoned by my “church family” during my time of greatest need.

So has George Barna, founder of The Barna Group. Of these times, George writes:

I understand the pain involved in being chewed up by a church – a place where you go to worship God, to become more Christlike, to serve others, to enjoy positive relationships with other Christ followers, and to have a safe and reliable place to bring truth seekers for exposure to biblical principles in thought, word, and deed. It can be a shattering reality when your “church home” becomes a place of rejection and suffering while you are doing your best to be part of the spiritual family. It turns your world upside down, births a variety of spiritual doubts, and leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

Sadly, we are not alone in our experiences. According to The Barna Group, a firm that studies the religious beliefs and behavior of Americans:

Nearly four out of every ten people in the United States (37%) currently avoid church because of previous bad experiences with church and church people.

In the next 15 years, church attendance will be cut in half – a trend that Stephen Mansfield attributes, in part, to churches offending and wounding the very people they are supposed to be healing.

Stephen Mansfield is a New York Times best-selling author with a list of impressive credentials – including a ten year stint as pastor of a large, influential church. Unfortunately, his pastoral journey ended in the midst of conflict and upheaval, from which he did not emerge unscathed. This book stems from the aftermath of his painful church departure and what he learned during his “soul-deforming season of hell.”

Fortunately, God brought “pastors of an exceptionally bold and unapologetic kind” into Stephen’s life. These men of God walked Stephen through a biblically-based healing process that ultimately freed him of all the bitterness and toxicity that he was grappling with as a result of his wounds.

In this book, Stephen walks you through the very same steps these pastors took him through to bring him to a place of healing, freedom and wholeness. The process isn’t easy. Stephen’s book is full of painful truths and tons of tough love. In fact, if your wounds are still raw, you might find some of his advice difficult to hear, let alone apply.

However, if your spiritual life has become one long, dark night of the soul that has been precipitated, in part or in full, by a painful church wounding, this book holds the keys to your freedom!

Don’t let your relationship with God be compromised due to the shortcomings of God’s imperfect people – the church. Read through Healing Your Church Hurt with pen in hand and begin the process of working through the pain.

More Great Resources

Healing Your Church Hurt – The Giveaway

Healing Your Church Hurt is one of the best books I have read this year. I’m so excited to offer one of my U.S. followers a chance to win a gift certificate for a free copy of this book!

To enter, complete the Required Entry and then any Bonus Entries you desire. Please leave a SEPARATE COMMENT on this blog post for each entry you submit. Include your Name, E-Mail and any requested data so that I can verify your entries and contact you in the event that you win!

Additional Information

This giveaway closes on April 7, 2012 at Midnight PST . The winner will be chosen using a random number generator. The odds of winning depend on the number of eligible entries received. The winner will be contacted via e-mail and have 24 hours to respond before another winner is chosen. Once the winner has been verified, I will announce them on this blog. The winner will receive 1 Gift Certificate that they may use to redeem for this book on or before May 31, 2012 in accordance with the terms stated on the Gift Certificate.

This giveaway is open to all U.S. Create With Joy followers, ages 18 and over. No purchase is necessary. Void where prohibited by law. The winner is responsible for taxes, where applicable. By submitting an entry, you are indicating that you have read and agree to these Official Rules.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book from the Tyndale Blog Network for review purposes. I was not compensated for this review, nor was I required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are entirely my own.

After 20+ years serving as secretary, janitor and Jack-Of-All-Trades in the little church I attended, I experienced this. One newcomer threw this tight knit group of parishioners into chaos. Membership dwindled until it appears the church will be closed. I live next door and they changed the locks so I wouldn’t use my key. It was a very scarring experience! It’s good to know there is a book that addresses this issue.

I would really like this book and could recommend it to hundreds of people.

I spent 28 years in an dysfunctional, abusive church culture (has had about five church splits and started as a result of a split from another church), and I kept getting the “You will never find a perfect church” line. I wasn’t looking for perfection, just love and compassion. I even led a leadership class in that church, and one of the leadership books by John Maxwell talked about not being able to grow if you are constantly limited by the team you are working with. The leadership team that I was working with was preventing growth, and it became an issue of wanting to grow more and having reached the limit in the the midst of so much dysfunction. A few years later, that same pastor made a confession to the whole congregation that his need to be the one “on top” made him prevent people from growing. I just found that out two weeks ago (because I left 6 years ago). He never called to apologize for squishing me for that time. SO, I am wondering if it was true repentance or just another show that I saw him do constantly through the three years we overlapped in ministry. I prayed him out of the church, and he finally left two years ago.

But we left six years ago after crying every Sunday morning for 15 years, and we found a loving and compassionate body of believers. We would never be able to do what we are doing now because no one in the leadership is threatened by emerging leaders, and they are not competitive. So, we have been so happy and at peace. I wasn’t looking for perfection but health.

There will always be “heat” in the kitchen of the church, but it is whether there is a well-ventilated kitchen in place to deal with the heat. I was sweating for so many years for no reason. Now, the kitchen has heat, but there are biblical ways to deal with the heat.

I am an e-mail subscriber. I would love to win this book, as my husband is a new pastor in a small community that has been hurt by our church in the past. This would be a great resource for the healing process both in our church and in the community we are striving to minister to.

I would love to win this book because I have had some experience being hurt by other believers. Whether intentional or not, the result is the same–resentment and bitterness. I’d really love to read how the author healed from his experiences. I’ve been considering leaving our church off an on for a few years now. I’ve stayed out of obligation but I don’t really “feel it” anymore.

I’m already a follower on GFC but I also followed you on Google Plus (Christy Kramer).

definitely an essential for this reader’s library! unbelievable actions reactions and attitudes of ch members whenever we’ve been from ‘outside’ their inner circles ~ the stranger and alien in their midst… sad. perhaps that’s why my core message of hospitality!
linky and twitter as @_eHope
faithhopecherrytea@*gmail.*com

My experience parallels the author’s, [“a soul deforming season of hell” indeed! … It can be a shattering reality when your “church home” becomes a place of rejection and suffering while you are doing your best to be part of the spiritual family. It turns your world upside down, births a variety of spiritual doubts, and leaves a sour taste in your mouth…] I want the healing freedom and wholeness described in this book.

I am interested in reading this book because I have gone through some painful church related experiences and have also been privy to the experiences of others. This sounds like an extremely beneficial book. It hurts me to read everyone else’s experiences. I wish we all could win.

I am not religious so maybe I shouldn’t be commenting on this kind of posts… anyway, reading from your post, it seems like this book would be a good gift idea to somebody struggling with spirituality. That’s just not me though.

Cherry Mischievous

P.S.
I am a bit late in this blog rounds but still within the spirit of BRPW🙂

Thanks for stopping by! I realize that not all of my readers are spiritual and not every book I review will appeal to everyone, so I truly appreciate your openess to reading my reviews and taking the time comment! 🙂

I agree that this would be a wonderful gift for someone who is struggligng spiritually. A lot of times people have aminosity built up towards the church over things that happened long ago, and find later in life something happens that makes them want to reconnect with the church (even if it’s a different church in a different way). A book like this can go a long way towards helping them reconcile what has happened in the past so that they can move forward.

Have a wonderful weekend and I stopped by your blog for a visit too! 🙂

Trackbacks

[…] Healing Your Church Hurt by Stephen Mansfield Wherever people gather, The potential for misunderstanding and hurt exists – But so does the opportunity for healing and growth! If this title resonates with you, Be sure to check out my Book Review & Giveaway (Open through April 7, 2012!) […]

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