Trotsky punches Kamenev on the nose and bundles him to the ground. Kamenev responds by poking Trotsky's forehead.

Stalin

(Cheering) Fight, fight, fight!

All three fail to notice Vladimir Lenin striding along the corridor towards them.

Lenin

What is going on here!!

Trotsky and Kamenev stop attacking each other and Stalin stops cheering.

Lenin

That was disgracful! Thank God this is not the 21st century, because if it was, that would be all over YouTube, Facebook and all those other media sites! We are supposed to be leading a country, not failing anger management classes! Now, why are you three men outside my office?

Trotsky

Sir, it is of the upmost importance. I think it would be better if we should discuss it in your office.

Lenin nods and walks into his office, with Trotsky, Stalin and Kamenev following behind.

Act 2

INSIDE LENIN'S OFFICE

Lenin sits at his desk and ajusts his photo of Marx

Lenin

Gentlemen, sit.

Stalin and Trotsky rush to the remaining two chairs. Kamenev atemps to push Trotsky of his chair, but Trotsky slaps him away. Kamenev looks around and sits on the floor.

Lenin

What's going down. Is it the Chinese? Or the Bourgeoisie?

Stalin

No sir, it's the Germans.

Lenin

The Germans? What about the Germans?

Trotsky

They have offered us a treaty, sir. And they say if we do not accept they will be forced to use Rebecca Black's first song "Friday."

Stalin

And they also said they might have to go even further and realese Nikki Minaj's new single "High School"

Lenin

(Clearly confused) What?

Kamenev

(Slightly gushing) We cannot stop it sir. "Friday" appeals to everyday people. For instance the lyrics involve "Gotta make my mind up, Which seat can I take?" Those are the exact words I am thinking right now. It is a brilliant song.

Lev Kamenev's friday night out

Lenin

(Looking around) Lev? Lev? Where are you Lev?

Kamenev

I'm on the floor sir.

Lenin

(Looking over desk)I see- woah, what the fuck are you wearing?

Kamenev

(Pointing at his Rebecca Black mask)You mean this sir? This is my Rebecca Black appreciation mask.(Starts singing chorus to "Friday" and swaying to the rythme)

Lenin

(Sighing)What about Minaj?

Trotsky

The "High School" song has enough ganster acion to atract younger audiences, say from five to ten, but a considerable amount of boob to atract older audiences as well. Also the clothes that Minaj wears will no doubt get the working classes exicited, which is a problem. We are the ones who have to get the workers exicited, not some whore waving her ass at a camera.

Lenin

Show me this "High School" video.

Trotsky and Stalin go over to Lenin's desk and turn on his Apple II while Kamenev is having fun, fun, fun, fun, pretending to drive a car.

Stalin

Okay, sir. Now, type in "Pornhub" into Yahoo. Well done sir. Now click on the Home Page. No sir, not the Little Elf Woman Bangs And Sucks Santa Claus. Go back. Good sir. Click the first one. Very well done sir. Go to the search bar and type in "Nikki Minaj." Click the first one. Now sit back and enjoy. Sir.

Lenin and Trotsky get erections, however Lenin has the decency to cover his up with his Marx photo. Kamenev is still having fun, fun, fun, fun. Stalin is leaking blood out of his armpits.