What’s up, Pokémons! Sunday was the 2017 Teen Choice Awards, a magical, YouTube star-studded evening where awards are determined by who’s able to show up and TEENS reign supreme, probably while wearing Supreme.

Fox aired the 2016 Teen Choice Awards on Sunday night. I tried to watch but John Cena was hosting and it was bad; also, The Night Of. Apparently, there was a fracas about whether the results were rigged which, of course they probably were; they always are at awards shows whose program is based on what celebs they can…

Sunday night’s Teen Choice Awards, aside from provoking An Old to do a quick Google search every seven minutes to identify some YouTube boy or Nickelodeon cutie, were as humane as they were tame: even the most awkward jokes and presentations were tolerable at a time limit of two hours.

Sunday night was the Teen Choice Awards, the annual celebration where ad executives get kids to scream their prepubescent throats raw while you, a grown adult, ask yourself questions like “Who’s that?,” “Wait, Austin Mahone and Cody Simpson are two separate people?,” and “No, but SERIOUSLY, who IS that?”

Last night, the annual Teen's Choice Awards, an event meant to celebrate your gradual decline into cultural irrelevancy, took place in Los Angeles. In the #teen spirit, there were crop tops a-plenty, many bright colors and fun shoes as far as the eye could see.

Here's a riddle for you: What's more embarrassing than everyone at the Teen Choice Awards twerking* at once in order to break a world record? Answer: When the hosts of the Teen Choice Awards ask everyone to twerk at once in order to break a world record and practically no one participates. (Well, at least Hushpuppy…

Last night at the Teen Choice Awards, the fashion choices varied greatly: There was a little bit of leather, a lot of lace, and some truly unfortunate sequins. Seriously, some of what you're about to see is hideous.

On Sunday night, Glee's Lea Michele was honored as Best Actress in a Comedy at the Teen Choice Awards. She accepted with a tearful speech honoring her costar and boyfriend Cory Monteith, who died of an overdose of alcohol and heroin on July 13.

Sure, you could watch some show about meth entrepreneurs that literally no one cares about, OR you could watch Darren Criss hand out awards to the faces of Hollywood's future DUI mugshots at the Teen Choice Awards. I think the choice is pretty obvious, but you go ahead and do you.

We're told teens deal with conformity, but every single woman in an eensy mini? This took herd mentality to a whole new level! Luckily, there were bright spots amidst the sea of gams and booties...and, um, Levi.

The thing is, being a teenager kinda sucks. But being a Hollywood teenager is different: you're popular and well-dressed and you get your own awards show! Best of all, you can actually be in your 20s and just play a teen. Hence, Rachel Bilson, Blake Lively, Hayden Panettiere, Miley Cyrus, Scarlett Johannson, Kristen…

The Teen Choice Awards: Ah, how we love that bastion of the little man's (or, er, of the little tween) freedom of expression. The stars pretend they care about their young fans. The young fans cry at the sight of the stars. It's an equal opportunity masturbatory red carpet heydey. The fashion however? Oy. Best…