When
someone asks you a question you'd rather not answer, smile and say "Why
do you want to know?"

The
epitaph on Spike Milligan's gravestone reads: "I told you I was ill"

If
you're just here for a quick browse and only want to see what it's
all about you'll most likely want to head straight over to Kiddies Korner
for the Gamez, and that's just fine because you'll certainly be coming
back again if I simply tell you that that is the boring part of
the site!

Originally I built this website because I hoped to leave some trace
of myself in the corporeal world - other than just unpaid bills. (That
is, for as long as the hosting gets paid or maybe The Devil issues credit
cards!). It took a decade of designing other people's websites
before I got around to even booking my own name as a domain (something
everyone should do, of course, providing it's still available). Some darned
realtor (oops, sorry, ' Namesake'!)
in Brentwood went and nobbled the "dot-co dot-uk" version of
my name while I slumbered, but he was nice enough to leave the "dot-com"
option there, which was the only one I really wanted anyway! And
since he now has a flashy "Macromedia Flash" gateway
page I can only assume he is paying to stay at the top of the search
engines (coz search engines can't see inside Flash coding, Keith!)

And
now that I have retired to Spain this site is a 'reverse engineering'
of a life not short on pain and glory (except I've left out the pain &
glory bits to leave more room for the funnier stuff). Like all websites,
it will suffer from constant change - updates, new pages, dropped links(!)
and the rest. Who knows, you yourself may even appear amongst these
pages (Don't sue
me! - my lawyer has instructions to administer the euthanasia should adversity
rear its ugly head).

The
page links to the top left will route you to the musings and ramblings
of one whose life has been impacted by far too much travelling and inadequate
rooting - a veritable Rolling Stone who gathered very little moss along
the way! [How do brambles manage to travel so extensively and yet root
so successfully?]

Finally,
there are also lots of hidden links lurking under text and buttons throughout
the site - I hope you get to find them all!

Thank
you for your visit!

<<
Humanitarian Request >>Try
not to stay on this page too long - the little pig gets tired. However,
to please you, he will fly himself to exhaustion. Thank you.

"They
all laughed when I said I was going to become a comedian. Well, they're
not laughing now!" - Bob Monkhouse

I
adopted this little cutie as my logo many years ago when I found his image
on one of those rubber stamp thingies at Quincy Market, Boston, Mass.
I use the little critter on the inside cover of most of my books (image
below).