As always, for the duration of the Cannes Film Festival, we end each day with a surplus of gowns about which we have failed to express and state our opinions. This, as always, must be rectified, so ladies? Let’s see what you got.

Andie MacDowell in Roberto Cavalli Couture

*T Lo weep softly for several minutes*

How long, kittens? How long must our endless night in the desert – a nightmare desert of visible panties and slightly invisible dresses – go on?

And Miss Andie, we are very disappointed in you. You just think about that.

Eva Longoria in Marchesa

Sure. Okay. It’s certainly nothing we haven’t seen a million times before, but we’re not made at it. Possibly because it’s not transparent. The neckline’s not the greatest for her and we find the “sleeves” to be a bit too precious, but this is Marchesa after all. To say it’s precious is to be redundant.

Jourdan Dunn in Elie Saab Couture

*the wailing begins*

Fashion world, you’ve got to stop with this nonsense.

It’s a pretty great dress aside from the sheer aspect. The neckline’s a bot too tricky, though.

Kristin Scott Thomas in Schiaparelli

Love it. It’s not transparent and the color looks fantastic. We’re not entirely sold on the lock thing, however. The jewelry is stunning.

Sonam Kapoor in Elie Saab Couture

We suppose we sound horribly jaded – this is a beautiful, sparkly gold princess gown, after all – but it looks generic to us; like virtually no thought behind it. Style on autopilot.