A spokesperson for the Vice President’s office said, “That is ridiculous, both amendments in the Bill of Rights are intact. The First Amendment still grants all of us the right to bear arms, and we in the White House have made extensive use of the Second one about the right not to incriminate one's self. Are you sure there were ten to start with? Some Liberals have testified that the Founding Fathers called for Freedom of Speech the right to a fair trial and other ‘tripe’. The Vice President asserts that such claims are the result of faulty research and poor schooling that will be corrected by our ‘No Child Left a Mind’ program.”

Reportedly Nicholas Cage has managed to retrieve the original Constitution and says it appears not to have been tampered with, although the duct tape is a little wrinkled where the two amendments are attached.