Breaking down gender roles, one role at a time.

Carol Lay — The Big Skinny

Geez Louise. The humor and good sense of Shanker’s The Fat Girl’s Guide to Life is a marked contrast to the neuroticism of Carol Lay’s The Big Skinny. Seriously? They both talk about bananas – Shanker’s all like, “Isn’t it messed up that one banana is two servings? Who only eats half a banana at a time?” Well. Carol Lay.

This graphic novel focuses on Lay’s weight management techniques. While it’s helpful in terms of really making clear the benefits of calorie counting, Lay’s constant self-righteous pinioning of fat people and weight gain really distracted me from much of the book’s usefulness. When she calls herself a former fattie, she’s not reclaiming the term like Shanker. She’s maligning herself and others for their laziness, refusal to do math, and all around sloth. The obese people she knows binge, are emotional over eaters, and are flaky, “stupefied” food addicts.

As I read on, I wondered if she would ever eat the other half of that banana since she seemed so anti-food. Her attitudes towards food and body image both really turned me off, since she basically started losing weight out of self-disgust. She got tired of men saying stuff like, “No fat chicks,” and wanted a more active lifestyle. This is actually the crux of why I found The Big Skinny useful but not enjoyable. Like, her pictorial imagery of a more active lifestyle? An image of herself going swimming. What did my fat self do yesterday? Smoke everyone at swimming. She’s arguing that there’s a certain amount of physical enjoyment and desirability fat people simply don’t have access to, just because they’re fat. That’s not really my experience. I find this attitude fatphobic and very jarring. There’s this idea that fat women must lie around in a puddle of their own grease all day, and that they must be TOO LAZY to take the OBVIOUS steps necessary to bettering themselves. Lay seems like she endorses this idea of “fattitude” to an outrageous extent.

At the same time, her method worked for her, and I could see why it would work for others. Most of the stuff she writes I agree with – simple, organic foods are way better for you than processed, chemical-laden ones. You have the right to be assertive about your food needs, even in the work place. The steps you take to be helpful shouldn’t have to change because of the office climate. Making a goal list and keeping it accessible will remind you of your resolve. Her frank tone is an asset here, especially since in these sections she stops dogging her “hefty” friends. Plus, she includes really useful pictures of the exercises she does as part of her daily routine. There are some useful calorie charts, a couple good menu plans, and a pretty thorough checklist of what you might want to do to get started on your life-style change. I’d take the rest with a grain of salt.

Another thing: I think we all know people who do all the diet and exercise stuff exactly right and still aren’t slim, and we all know skinny people who eat 3,000 calories a day of crap and never get off their asses except to get another snack. For weight loss gurus to sell people on the idea that their systems work, and if they don’t work it’s the customer’s fault, not the guru’s, they have to start preying on the customer’s self-esteem very early in the process.

Of course, the “it’s your fault, you’re the one who needs to adjust” mentality is something that’s foisted on girls from an early age, making women a perfect target for this sort of predatory marketing.

JK — I think that’s one of the reasons that weight loss is marketed to women differently than it is to me. I get the impression that for men, it’s based more on being strong and “bulking up” in the right places, whereas for women it’s all deny, deny, deny.

I blogged about the book here. I agree with everything you said, but I’d also add: she was never fat in the first place. She describes herself at 140 as “zaftig”; do most people really consider a 5’9″ woman who weighs 140 “zaftig”?

Agreed, Barry. And I looked at the preview on Amazon.com— the way she draws her “fat” self doesn’t look fat to me. This raises a question in my mind: While I respect Ms. Lay’s right to look how she wants, for any reason or for no reason at all, did she decide to lose weight because it was what she wanted, or because she was shamed into it by d-bags who said “no fat chicks” (where “fat” means “not Callista Flockheart”)?

I think a bit of both — she had a lot of shame in her body (like, her “fat” wardrobe is all too big and in really ugly colors for her complexion. I’m sorry, but you are not going to feel divalicious in over-alls. No.) and got teased/street harassed for her weight.

I don’t know if I could handle reading this book, to be honest. It might end up flung across the room after seeing that she considered herself to be grossly overweight when she weighed about the same as I do and I’m a good four inches shorter. And while I’m not quite at my previous fighting trim (due to a knee injury a few months ago that’s made getting aerobic exercise kind of tricky), I generally describe myself as “out of shape” rather than “fat”. Although I’m now considering adopting “zaftig” just because it has a nice ring to it. (Take that, Carol. :p )

Also? It’s okay to eat the whole banana. Nutritionists recommend eating 5 servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Plus, they’re high in potassium, which is really good for you after strenuous exercise. That’s why I usually take them hiking.

It’s also worth mentioning that nobody ever takes into account how much of of the “excess flab” is muscle and how much is fat. This, by the way, is why you find fat people who can run upstairs without getting the least out of breath while 99% of slimmer people can’t even walk up steps without panting. I consider this a HUGE and dangerous failing in the medical industry – that muscular people with some flab get labeled as “fat” and advised to lose weight they can only lose by getting rid of muscle, which is a terrible idea. Muscle is your friend.

On MSN today there’s an article titled “Is it possible to be fit and fat?”
Considering how a few weeks ago they had an article about how baby daddies don’t care about fathering daughters as much as they do sons for evo-psych reasons, I don’t dare click on it for fear of being infuriated.

Isn’t 140 and 5-9 something like 180cms and 70kgs in metric? Because I’M 170 and 70 in metric and I’m considered between slim and average and by my calculations, she’s the same weight as me but five cms taller :8 How t=is that anything remotely like fat?

Ha, the only calories I CAN count are the ones on the less-healthy more-processed foods I eat, because they have nutrition labels. Hippie vegan restaurant food and home cooking do not, but they are probably healthier (certainly more fresh-vegetable-containing.

Is this the same book they reviewed on Alas, a Blog? Where the lady dieted herself to the brink of “underweight” BMI?

I think so — she diets herself to the lowest healthy BMI for her weight/height.

It sucks she’s crazy — she actually explains her gymless workout very clearly, as well as how she figures out the calorie content for home cooking. If these had been united with a less fatphobic philosophy, this would’ve been a really helpful book.

The BMI is one of the most useless numbers in existence. According to my BMI, I am morbidly obese. I am also a woman who regularly straps 60-70lbs to her back and carries it ten miles. I regularly toss a 50lb sack of feed over each shoulder. I have picked up a 175+lb man and carted him to safety. I swing 25-40lb children around.

But according to society, I’m ‘fat’. Because I’m not built like 10 year old boy with plums in his shirt pockets. I’ve got hips, breasts, and a bit of a belly.

Let’s see if little miss ‘I just want an active lifestyle’ can keep up with my daily routine.

The BMI is not useless, it is an indicator. It is not perfect by any means, especially when it comes to muscle mass, but it is better than pure weight alone. There are, of course, much better measurements, but then you have to do at least a little medical testing and not just do a little basic maths.

Thanks for the BMI illustrated; I lost that link (I actually wanted to post it here)

As I said, there are better indicators, and measuring body fat is the one that comes to my mind right now as one of the best ways. And yes, you must be careful when attributing health risks. As far as I know, being slightly “overweight” actually gives you the longest life expectancy because when aging, your body loses weight and it’s better if you have a little excess here

Also, weight and health issues are areas where there is a lot – and I mean a lot – of junk research.

But BMI is just a number. Nothing more, and nothing less. Really, it depends on what you do with the number.

Now, talk about how the designation of “ideal” and “overweight” and “underweight” imposes a standard, and I’m in full agreement. But again, that has nothing to do with the number.

I think in the US the BMI ends up being the standard because it’s the one insurance companies turn to.

Like, OVERSHARE! I’m really busty. Like special order bras from England (the bustiest nation in the EU!) busty. I wanted to get a breast reduction. I was denied because my BMI was too high, and my insurance company said I needed to lose weight first.

My doctor wrote them a letter describing how my BMI was clearly, obviously off because of my boobs — the body part I wanted reduced!!

My insurance company said that they use a BMI as the beginning and only determinant, and until I got that down (pretty much impossible with titties as big as mine) I wouldn’t qualify.

Even as I’ve lost weight, I’ve either stayed the same cup size or gone up 1. It’s AWESOME.

In all fairness, Lay says that at her heaviest she weighed 204 lbs. On page 8 she states, “My default weight seemed to be 160. For me that was at least 30 pounds too much. Three or four times I dieted my way down to 140, and I would look pretty good for a while.” The next several pages chronicle this perpetual 20 lb. fluctuation, and her focus seems to be more on her feelings of being out of control of her own body than on the specific numbers.

I agree that Lay’s body image and numeric fixations seem neurotic, but the broader narrative seems to be that of the author changing her life from one of apathy and self-loathing to one of discipline and self-respect. I am disappointed that, for Lay, the difference between self-loathing and self-respect is tied to very specific body weight numbers. The Big Skinny is Lay’s account of defining, achieving, and maintaining success in her life, although her definition of success is troubling.

The major weakness of the book is its lack of meaningful structure and its mind-numbing repetitiveness (Jesus, she counts calories, we got that from the first 16 mentions!). The individual chapters are engaging, but there is massive overlap. The Big Skinny reads like a collection of serialized pieces (and for all I know, it might be) rather than a coherent narrative or instructional book. One of the benefits of creating nonfiction comics is the largely uncharted nature of the genre, a genre that allows for structural experimentation . Lay is to be admired for boldly discarding structural conventions that would not suit her piece, but she hasn’t found or invented a viable replacement.

I actually found the structure pretty standard for the genre. TBH if you read any weight loss manual, it’s pretty repetitive, v. pithy, and sometimes feels like it’s a series of stand-alone pieces. At least, that’s how the ones I’ve read have seemed. I imagine it’s so you can use it as a reference guide if you need to. We might need to agree to disagree on the idea she’s being bold!

I can’t remember how much she weighed when she had her epiphany regarding her disgusting fattitude. Was it 204?

I agree that Lay’s body image and numeric fixations seem neurotic, but the broader narrative seems to be that of the author changing her life from one of apathy and self-loathing to one of discipline and self-respect. I am disappointed that, for Lay, the difference between self-loathing and self-respect is tied to very specific body weight numbers. The Big Skinny is Lay’s account of defining, achieving, and maintaining success in her life, although her definition of success is troubling.

YES. Just like defining success by a specific amount of income or a certain car, and loathing yourself when you haven’t arrived at either.

And like a “get rich” guru, she’s outlining a plan that won’t work for everyone and encouraging you to loathe yourself if her plan doesn’t work for you. If you do exactly what she says and don’t get the results you were hoping for, it can’t be that the plan is wrong for your body in some way, that you have an underlying health issue you don’t know about, or that the numbers you were hoping for just aren’t realistic for your body. It must be that you are a lazy jackass.

I can’t entirely blame her for basing her self-worth as a human being on whether or not she meets an arbitrary standard of physical beauty: She grew up in a society demanding she do exactly that. She’s a victim of the same unhealthy culture she’s promoting.

And like a “get rich” guru, she’s outlining a plan that won’t work for everyone and encouraging you to loathe yourself if her plan doesn’t work for you. If you do exactly what she says and don’t get the results you were hoping for, it can’t be that the plan is wrong for your body in some way, that you have an underlying health issue you don’t know about, or that the numbers you were hoping for just aren’t realistic for your body. It must be that you are a lazy jackass.

If you read Lay’s weekly comic strip WayLay, you know that she lives in a bitter, humorless universe of her own prejudices and foregone conclusions. It doesn’t surprise me that changing one’s “fattitude” turns out to have nothing to do with changing one’s attitude.

Elsewhere in the book she said she got up to 206. I think that qualifies as fat. As far as 140 being “zaftig”? Sure. If her fit weight is 125 or so, 15 pounds of lard adds to the hips, arms, butt, bosom, and waist.

I read the book and I like the tone and attitude. She doesn’t say “this is what you have to do” but “this is what works for me.” I incorporated several things I learned from this book into my routine and I’ve lost 14 pounds in 3 months without breaking a sweat.

And, by the way, 1/2 a banana keeps very well in the fridge until I’m ready to eat the other half. That way I get to enjoy the taste of it twice in one day. Thank you, Ms. Lay!

I would say I’m average UK size, I definitely love food and don’t do enough exercise tho I never ever eat junk food.
But in my most self loathing moments when I wish I could just throw on any item of clothing and look like a supermodel it’s not really about men or sex or even how you look completely, there is this idea at the back of my mind that non-skinny girls are lazy and selfish and insecure and obnoxious. Which is bullshit but did the media give me this idea? Or is it my personal self loathing? I guess all the skinny female characters in advertising, film and tv and even the models in fashion magazines look graceful, secure, relaxed, serene, happy. which makes the bit of holiday flab I’m carrying feel even heavier a burden.

The idea that slim people are dedicated to their health and fat people are not is prevalent in Western culture. Even though we all know very slim people who eat like pigs and exercise like sloths, and fat people who work much harder at being fit, we maintain this myth. And it all boils down to our lazy desire for a way to judge people’s character by their appearance. It’s no different than looking at a skin color and assuming the person wearing it has a particular sort of character.

As for your self loathing, where did you get the idea to loathe yourself? From the media? Or from someone in your life who may have gotten these ideas from the media? I think it’s all cultural, and media is a big part, though not the whole, of culture.