Friday, September 10, 2010

THINGS TO COME: PRIEST

Around this time last year, I took a few jabs at the movie Legion based solely on its trailer. But to be fair, as promised, I finally got around to watching it a couple of weeks ago and… it was big ole smelly turd of a movie. Not too prosaic, I know, but what can I say, it’s the truth. Not only did it completely screw up every bit of theology it touched (which was expected), but it was wretched in just about every other sense of the word too. I guess if I want to watch a theologically unsound, yet still entertaining rebellious angel movie, I’ll just have to stick with the old Christopher Walken flick, The Prophecy.

But of course, Legion made a profit. So low and behold, the new trailer for director Scott Charles Stewart’s next effort, Priest, just hit the Internet. Take a look.

I’m beginning to think Scotty boy has some serious issues to work out with religion. He obviously hates it, but can’t seem to leave it alone. The usual dreck is here. Big uncaring Catholic Church? Check. Evil bishop (Pope?) interested only in power? Check. Renegade priest who must break his vows to do what is right? Check. I guess that stuff is red meat for the anti-intellectual atheists out there, but it’s gotten to be pretty yawn inducing around these parts. I did crack a little smile, though, when what appears to be a Catholic priestess popped up. Cause, you know, that’ll happen in the future, right? (Dummies.) Oh well, it could be worse, I suppose. From what I’ve read around the web, what’s in this movie is actually pretty tame compared the vitriol spewed towards religion in the original graphic novel Priest is based on. I’m curious if it was the studio or the director who decided to tone it down? I’d put my money on the producers who probably don’t mind offending regular church-goers, but don’t want to alienate all that spiritual-just-not-religious money. (Cowards.)

It’s too bad, because this looks like a bit more of a mature film than Legion did. Stewart comes from a visual effects background, which really showed through in Legion. Effects were about all that movie had going for it. Priest is obviously still effects heavy, but at least it looks like it’s trying to be more than just a few set pieces connected by badly scripted expository scenes.

Oh well, no doubt I’ll get around to watching Priest when it hits Netflix. I’m too much of a sucker for movies set in obligatorily rainy dystopian futures. And I have to admit, I’m curious now to see what Stewart’s third effort will be. If it’s got a religious theme also, then I’ll know for sure something’s working on him. That should be fun to watch. Probably more so than his movies.

Well, deservedly or not, I'm trying to give the director a little credit. Legion was insulting to the actual teachings of the Church. This one appears to just be insulting the people who believe in them. There's a smidgen of progress there. Another few movies and the guy might actually grow out of his juvenile rantings and engage the Church maturely and honestly.

Your blog carrier was nearly responsible for my heart attack this morning when your blog was removed for about an hour. Was your carrier offended by the gratuitous rubber-suiting? Had they become a sarcasm-free zone? Were they incredulous that you found redeeming features from "Zontar: the Thing from Venus?" Surely, it couldn't be that they were anti-catholic, anti-religion or anti-intelligence? (Surely not.) Glad to see that it was only temporary. (No doubt you had an underground fan at the blog carrier office.)

Sorry about that everybody. Everything Google exploded on me this morning for no reason that I, or my virus software, can determine. Oh well, everything seems to be working now, so I can get back to the usual weirdness.

Now that I've seen the trailer, I must laugh. The henna crosses on the face started it - is that how they'll celebrate Ash Wednesday in the future? But the throwing-stars put me over the edge.

Ever see the fake priest Wolfwood from the manga and anime Trigun? THAT guy carried around a heavy cross - that concealed multiple handguns - but at least he got it right. Whenever anyone commented on how heavy it was, he told them, "That's because it's so full of mercy."