It’s nearly 11 December

Tomorrow lunchtime, because we’re getting half a day off, marks the end of the residential element of my MSc course. It’s been two years in the making. Over the course of 8 residential weeks I’ve learned a lot, enjoyed the idiosyncrasies of the unusual residential facility, made friends, and… other stuff that I’m not blogging about! At the beginning of this, I think if you’d told most of us all the things that would happen over the next couple of years we’d not have believed it. Particularly if you’d told me I’d end it by having a stroke 7 weeks before the final residential began. For tomorrow doesn’t just mark the end of the final residential, it marks 2 months since the first infarction. Remember that Kate?

This week has been interesting. It’s been nice that some people – those not on my cohort – have not known that there’s anything out of the ordinary in play. It’s been humbling to see how accommodating the usually strict facility has been, and how kind my friends are. I don’t think there has been a moment when a thought of, “hmmm, I think I might be knackered,” hasn’t been followed by Karen or Jim or Stephen saying, “how you doing,” or, “do you want a lift back up to the mess.” It’s been a privelege and I shall miss my cohort. Not that it’s over yet, as we have reunion lunches and dinners to organise, a vague plan to descend back here for a week in June when the cohort following us are back for a week so we can knock out some work and have some fun, oh… and dissertations to do…. and maybe a graduation… in 2012!

In terms of the after-stroke effects… Well I guess it’s the compound effect. Day 1 was fine, Day 2 was fine… in fact most of it was fine, but I’d notice that my walking is compromised in the evening and by today, when faced with a final afternoon of working but – and this was the killer – on something that won’t be assessed, I could quite easily have cried. But I didn’t and we did it and all we have to do tomorrow is deliver a presentation that is mostly written and then we are done. The end of the residentials. It’s slightly annoying that I have 2 essays to catch up on (in addition to the work given out this week, due in March) but thems the breaks. Other people have to do whole modules so I guess I’m lucky… it’s just that having to catch up is not usually the way I roll.

There is one more thing I have noticed, and my friends may disagree with me. For you I point out that the Leave Comment button is below…! I make reference above to being slightly annoyed. There are other things that have happened this week or in the past few months that have been slightly annoying. Except they haven’t been. Not in the way I used to get annoyed or, perhaps more descriptively correct, irritated. I know I’m not thrilled about something but it’s almost like I can’t be bothered to work up the energy for the emotion to be actually annoyed or overly bothered about it. There have been a couple of examples this week where my cohort has been bothered enough about an issue to do something about it: in the past I’d have sorted things like those out way before any of them would be annoyed enough to actually say something. Even the issue about she-who-shall-not-be-named (type that into the search box if you have no idea what I’m on about) didn’t annoy or anger me, it was a different emotion altogether. I’m not complaining, I don’t think. It’s quite nice not to get irritated. But I wonder if it’s actually a useful emotion that I need restored. Or not. Thoughts?!

2 comments

Maybe it’s just a perspective thing as your energy has been used dealing with a much bigger issue than usual. I would think that the nearer you get to returning to ‘normal’, the more energy you’ll have to get annoyed/ irritated by all those daft little things that shouldn’t annoy you – but do!