Thursday, January 28, 2010

little kandee....

some days...i wish I could go back and be 6 or 7 again...no worries except what to play...that smiley little girl is still me....we are all that same little person...with usually the same likes, the same dreams....I still like all the same stuff...photography, drawing, decorating things, dressing up, smiling, making up movies in my head...dancing and twirling....and thensome days...and I had one yesterday...I was walking to my car....and so many things had happened that day.....tears started fuzzing up my eyeballs....I talked to my mama....tears started fuzzing up my eyes again.....I talked to my sister.....tears...

I was hit with some "less-than-lovely" news yesterday...(read yesterday's blog to see why I can't talk about it yet...even though I would rather be an open book..and share all my life happenings)...and I am not going to say "things can't get any worse"...because right when you do that.....OH something will happen!...ha ha ha

then I realized...everything is all how you look at it....and I said, "you know, this isn't so bad....I've been through a whole lot worse"...this is all do-able....I can handle all of this....God wouldn't give me more than I can handle...and God must think I'm pretty strong...ha ha haI know all this is going to make be tougher....I probably won't get my feelings hurt like I used to, when someone would say something mean, like in high school.....now I get mean comments about me all the time...ha ha ha ha

If today seems hard or sad....know you're not alone...The sun is shining brightly this morning....I have a smile in my heart....despite any "unpleasant" things I have to deal with....And we wil be life-warriors....nothing is going to break us...no one is going to break us....we are strong....we will resist others evil words and actions....we will go after our dreams with a passion....we will spread love and be a light in a dark and unhappy world...and we will be a source of love and encouragement to others....I know you all have already been this for me!!!

This was typed with love and a smile....and I hope it brightens your day...you're more beautiful than you knowmore talented than you thinkand more loved than you can imagine....your friend, kandee

Aw kandee I hope you read this because you are such an inspiration to me, when my Dad was diagnosed with Leukaemia you got me throught the pain!You even inspired me to start setting up a makeup channel for redheads,You are my muse! :)

oh, another thing...I watched the video u posted last night...and u have every right to be sad, all of us does, we are all human, with feelings...no one is a rock(it would not even be good!), so, don't think you need to always look bubbly and happy, u don't...we love u anyway.xoxo

Thank you for this, I happen to read this right at a moment when I was feeling weak and hurt about a broken heart. I'm fighting a depression right now, and I realized the other day that I'll intentionally seek out your videos because your energy and spirit lift me up. =) Again, thank you.

Sweet Kandee,Yesterday, I left a comment on ur facebook, I don't knoe if you've read it yet, but I wrote Exodus 14:13&14. Read it, it's very comforting.In addition, I once asked if you've heard a christian song called: "Stand"?It's soooooo beautiful, and it makes u feel as if u can just give it all up to God, and relax, right in the middle of the storm.This too shall pass, sweet Kandee.

Oh Kandee, I know exactly how you feel. I have had a week of doctors and tests and mising class and just wanting to sleep all the time, and there have been three or four days where I just wanted to cuddle up to my mom and sleep and let her take care of me. Hang in there, cause you are right, your never given more then you can handle and there is always a reason the bad things in life. <3 Lauren

I watched your video yesterday and it made me sad because you're always so bright and cheerful, but of course we all have those days, I hope yours get brighter. Thank you so much for being a happy person and always telling us how awesome we are, and it should go without saying, you're awesome too!! Please ignore those poo heads with the negative comments, they obviously need to get a life. Thanks again for the uplifting words and videos, you are so creative and fun. Have an amazing day!

My dear distant friend Kandy, I am from Romania (yeah that's how far your love traveled) i'm saying that you are my friend because that's how close i feel to you when i watch your videos and when i read your blog. This is the first time that i actually found the courage to tell you my thoughts. I know that a lot of people give you wonderful comments i hope that you have the time for just a glimpse to this message that comes from my heart.(excuse my bad english)I don't know why but i feel so close to you, it happened even from the first time i saw a make up video that you made. I know i might sound weird but it's a very weird feeling even for me. I feel that people like you need to be cherished a lot because people that are kind and good are just like rare pearls so they need to be treasured and protected. I saw your last video when you talked about the fact that people can easily find 10 flaws in a person but when it comes to speak about the qualities they have difficulties. Well I want to tell you 10 best qualities that you have. And i can say this without any uncertainty. Kandy 1.your smile is contageous, 2.your eyes are the most sincere,3. the air around you feels like spring ( ahah rhyme), 4.you are very talented at doing make up ( you encouraged me to follow my dream of being a make up artist)5. you are very funny (i laughed loud when i saw your chubby bunny video) 6. you are beautiful, very beautiful in spirit and in looks, 7. you are kind enough to share with us your positivity and your thoughts and talent, 8. you care about the people in the world, 9. you open up easily and you are not fake 10. and last but not least you are my favorite make up artist on youtube ;) Omg that was a long message, hope you have the time to read it. Romania Loves you!

Kandee little sweetheart, your beautiful soul shows through in every picture I've seen of you. You were an adorable little girl, your sister too. Life is a balance of all things. You must have some really great things to look forward to to balance out all this stuff thats making you so sad lately. Remember, you can take anything for a little while. This will be over soon and you will be feeling on top of the world!Love,Pam

I wish I could give you a hug...there is no doubting the power of a hug. It heals, it soothes and it comforts. I can't believe the hardships you are going through...it's simply not right and in my little head just makes no sense. Nonetheless, it's the road you have to walk on it seems. And you will do so with your head held high my friend. Do not let it cruh you. Your spirit is too bright and too strong. It won't let anything crush you.

I wanted to share this with you. A quote from a movie...the words are not mine but they are inspirational. I hope they will give you an uplift and hope...

"So now I know what I have to do. I have to keep breathing. And tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide will bring in."Tom Hanks, Cast Away

Hey Kandee this blog is so crazy. I was just talking to my mom yesterday telling her that I miss being a kid. Things were so much more simpler. I have two kids my son Jacob is 7 and my daughter Aliyah is 2. I have an uncle that was telling me that my son is different because he's not all agressive and violent like all his cousins. I think partly is because we don't force him to be a certain way. My son is sensitive, loving, affectionate and just a kid. So I really related to this posting because I loved and miss being a kid. I'm still the same but just a grown up version lol. Thanks Kandee and I am sure whatever you are facing now you have the strength and support to overcome it. Have a great day :)

My name is Consuela, Im from Belgium, well originally from Romania. Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I really relate to what you wrote and really I felt the same as you did when people say mean things. Also the "not-so-nice-things" that happened, I've been through bad stuff too but just remember one thing : " What doesn't kill you, makes you that much stronger and you're not alone, you'll never be. Eventhough if sometimes we feel alone, I can ashure you we're not. At least I'm here to make you smile when you read this. This way I make your day beter in some way, I hope I do.Big kiss

P.S. = I really related to your video from yesterday evening, I felt just the same a few weeks ago and didn't know what to do about it. So thanks for being so open and honest. It's heartworming.

hi kandee! i'm portuguese and i'm 19. i just love your videos and i always go to youtube to learn from you, to be inspired! You teach us how we can be more beautiful, and how that can make us more happy about ourselves. There always gonna be mean people, and we can't be good to everybody. You shouldnt be sad or feeling lonely or alone because you had a chance to be part of a family, you are an healthy, beautiful person. You have talent, you grow up and you build a home to you and to your children. Bad words don't mean nothing when you have someone on your side and the first person you should have on your side is yourself. I know how lies and bad things can become true in your life... when someone says lies about you, sometimes you start to believe in them. But God knows who you are, knows deep down your soul and heart and you know that with Him you have all the Power and you can come throught all!! I hope you get better and smile again :) love you kandee

It was so simple, so easy when we were kids, because all that we had to care about was playing, and picking up our toys after, but now life is crazy. We have ups and downs, we go through stuff all the time, and I agree with you I believe that god won’t give us more than we can take, and he is just trying to make us stronger. A couple of weeks ago, I had an okay job, I was happy making plans, making my wish list, and now I’m unemployed. Thank god for my husband and that he has a stable job. We don’t make as much, but at least we have a place to live and food in our table, and the rest is going to come little by little. Enjoy every single minute that you have because life is short, and we all know when we come, we don’t know when we are leaving, so ur kids are great, enjoy them... you are a great mom, and I know god knows that ... don’t worry about people and what they have to say about you... we care for you, we love you, and no rumor is going to change that.

I think we need to have an I love kandee party! I know we would all come and dance the night away! And eat ice cream -- that always makes me feel better! Keep your head up and if I knew where you lived I would throw you a PaRtY! And show you how much you are loved!!!

Dear Kandee. I just want to tell you something. You are amazing. You are so amazing at makeup, your avatar video blow me away! And as a person, you are such an inspiration. When I am feeling down I go to your blog or search on youtube, and you just give some sort of energy and encourengment. You are truly amazing. Hug, Nete

Wow Kandee - you may be an older, wiser person, with bigger problems than "what to play," but you still have that same happy, glowing face and that true inner beauty of youth that is eternal. It is so striking. It will always shine through in someone like you and that is your gift.

hi kandee - im sending lots of love to u because i think u are very strong and beautiful. i know where ur coming from and its really good to know that im not alone when times get tough. i hope you have a wonderful day. please dont stop doing ur thuing, cos u rock! :D kaye, bye loves!

You're my inspiration and I would like to say that I was sad for a long time but your blog just made me happy! From now on I'm not that sad and onhappy person anymore( I'm only 13 it's too young hahah)I'm going to be the happy little girl I was a long time ago..Thank you Kandee please continue doing your thing!

Lots of love,SavannahPS: Sorry if I've made some mistakes I'm from Holland so my English isn't that good :-)

kandee,i just want you to know that you're my "best friend"...virtualy(hahaha)...you make me feel so loved,like nobody does...you're a very special women,and i'm sure that u know that...i love you!! ps:i have a bad english,i'm from romania,that explains everything:))

Sometimes I've thought the same thing about how God must think I'm pretty strong and amazing because of some of the trials I've been through. And I admit I've even wished He didn't trust me so much! haha. But I KNOW He won't give you more than you can handle and He will never abandon you!

You are an amazing mother, an amazing friend, an amazing woman, and an amazing person. NEVER forget that! You are soo loved! How special to have such an extensive support network. People from all over the world love you! I know you're going through a very hard time, just try to remember all of the blessings in your life!

Dear Kandee, I don't actually know what to say or where to start right now. I just want to express my feelings to you because every time I look at this picture of you as a child, tears are coming to my eyes. Maybe it is because I feel so sad about your whole situation. Maybe it is because this picture shows soo much of your beautiful soul. Or maybe it is because it reminds me of my own childhood. I have a little sister too. And sometimes when I'm sad I have the same wish like you. I wish I could go back in time and be that little girl again.

Kandee, I wish I could do anything for you to make you feel better.. but I am far away in Europe and all I can do is send you some goodie, write some nice words and pray. May God bring back that beautiful smile to that little girl's face.

PLEASE READ. IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER I PROMISEone of my friends didn't know about roger rabbit and he found out about it when he watched your jessica rabbit tutorial. After that he became obsessed with the pin up sensuality of jessica rabbit and made an entire art portfolio that consists 50% of jessica rabbit. he used all the things you said in your video when he was drawing, he watched that video a million times and he sent that portfolio to rhode island school of design at september for early applications and he got in. So next year he's going to start studying at the rhode island school of design, which is like the ultimate harvard of all art schools, which is his dream school, and its all because of you. cant you see how you have affected peoples lives in such a positive way? i love how you're so optimistic and always smiling and laughing and making fun of things.. i think your one of the most awesome people ever seriously you are beautiful inside and out. you are so cute that sometimes i feel like giving you a hug.so just remember that you might have had an incredible affect on peoples lives in a very good way. the thing about my friend is only one example. just think of how many other people you might have touched. stay positive, love all and just be yourself ..because you really are an incredible person. i really don't think life is fair for you sometimes and it makes me really sad. cheer up. there are thousands of people all around the world who love you

when people say mean things they are actually sayin something mean to someone that was once an innocent cute little girl that wouldn't harm a fly! And also to someone's daughter...that thought always makes me wonder why others dont see it that way and just go ahead and be mean.i know that you are still that cute little girl...i don't know you but it's a sense that i get!

I think what you should do when someone says something mean, go through your comments to see how many more people are out there that love you. all these people that post comments on your blog and your youtube, all love you & what you do. Those out there being mean are just a footnote not worth glancing at. <3 we all love you Kandee :D xoxo Ciara

Hey Kandee!!! just wantd to let you know that your handling everything so greatly, and your keeping your head up and your being so strong about this whole situation! you are such a positive person and you pour all of your positivity to me and im sure everyone else that listens to you! You are so amazing and i know everything will work out okay for you!! So many people in the world would crawl up into a ball and not try and look at anything positively, and certainly never share any of their positivity with anyone else! you are such a wonderful person and your such an inspiration to anyone who listens to your words! thank you so much for everything! love you kandee!!!

Hey Kandee! I just wanted to let you know that you can SOO make it through this. Think about everything you have already overcame, and how strong of a woman you already are! You are in my prayers and please do not ever give up! You're an inspiration to us all. We Love You!

You were too cute as a kid.I'm sorry you're going through hard times but you are a strong person and you can make it,i've been going through so much as well and you inspire me to be as strong as you are..love - whitley

I know you get thousands of emails and comments a day ..... I hope you can read this!!!I have been following you for the past 8 months or so on youtube and your blog... I was really fascinated by you, you have this beautiful light that is very contagious. I often find myself watching one of your videos when I am having a crappy day and you always seem to bring a smile to my face. Its incredible how you being a complete stranger could impact my life in such a beautiful way. I have had my share of ups and downs through out my life many of which I wish I could never remember. There were times in my life where I simply wish I didn't exist. I understand you are going though trying times at this moment and I pray that God brings you peace and understand during this trial in your life. I heard this song after I found out my mom was using drugs again, my nana passed away and when I had to be around some people who caused me great emotional and physical abuse as a child. The name of the song is He is with you by Mandisa. This song gave me peace knowing that I would not face many uncomfortable situations alone. I pray God is with you and you find victory through all this mess. Keep up all the good work, your loving kind heart makes this world a better place!!! remember He is With You!!!

Kandee, You are such an inspiration to so many people. A ray of sunshine and goodness to people who have never even met you. Do you realize the impact your beautiful attitude has on so many? The naysayers, the gossipers,they are doing what they are doing because they are miserable people. I feel sorry for them that they are so lost in their own misery,that they are so jaded by the negative that they can't see the true good in another person. Whether we admit it or not, what others think about us does have an effect. I can't think of anyone who doesn't TRULY want to be liked by others. This is a fault of mine...wanting to please others too much, not wanting others to dislike me...even if those people are rude and negative...I still deep down want some kind of approval from them. You are human...you are entitled to have hurt feelings, you are entitled to cry. But please let the POSITIVE energy from the people who have grown to adore you just wash over you and and bring you a little joy and comfort. You WILL get through this...just like you have the other trials in your life. And you will come out a stronger, better and even more beautiful mother, daughter, sister...human, when it is done. Many Blessings to you and yours Kandee.

Kandee, we love you. I just feel terrible people are being so cruel & immature to you lately. I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time...one song that really helped me through some horrible times in my life is the song: Three Little Birds by Bob Marley

"Rise up this mornin', Smiled with the risin' sun, Three little birds Pitch by my doorstep Singin' sweet songs Of melodies pure and true, Sayin', ("This is my message to you-ou-ou:")

I have to say thank you although you don't know who I am. I have been reading your blog daily (and yours is the only one I read). I was home sick a few months ago and cheered myself up while watching your videos and knew that although I felt (and looked!) awful that I could see the pretty in me again. I just read this post and too have felt in the last week that my situation was hopeless. BUT it isn't. I have a choice and I have options...when we feel out of control it is because we feel we don't have options. People like to make us feel that they know best how to influence our lives. But they don't.I have never written before but I felt very optimistic again after reading this and I have to thank you. You are going through a lot right now according to your posts...and you are still being a positive influence to all who are ready to hear what you have to say. People that are rude...are simply not ready. They have so much anger in their own lives and only feel in control by saying that others are wrong. This is their fault and we can only hope that those people will find peace in their own lives.Thanks

Oh, Gosh Kandee. You poor thing, I've found that I've been saying the same things all the time. "God won't give me what I can't handle.", "I'm going to get through this." But, the great part? I've found that it's true! I had to take time off from school because I had a bad infection (senior year, too.. ugh) all while my parents are going through a nasty little divorce. But, I stayed strong, and now I'm back in school, and realizing that I AM strong. And so are you! So no matter what, you can have your bad days, just make sure your good days outnumber the bad.So much love,Zoe

kandee the reason you wish to be a "child" again is because you are drawn to the innocence in a child. this is a good sign of your spirit. innocence is golden. be ye as the child.

when children fall and want to walk. they just get back up and get a big smile. you do the same. life is about getting right back up and finding someone to stand by you. when I'm feeling down I just listen to this on you tube and see if you feel better: it's called: stand by me...here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM

HI KANDEE!! I'm not sure if my video response worked so I'm posting a link for you here. Chin up girl. Life is full of the ups and downs. YOu don't have to be happy 100% of the time. You'll be your old self in no time. You are strong. Keep the faith. Much love.

kandee, its okay stay strong. im going through the same feeelings your going through at this very moment. every night i log on to your blog to read what you have to say. there all so true and inspiring. your going to help me accomplish my career as a fashion stylist, thank you (:

Kandee,I have been reading yoru blog and watching your videos for a long long time. I just never comment, sorry! I just wanted to let you know that i am yet another person that you inspire! Your infectious positivity and happiness make me strive to be a better me! there are so many people out there that care about you and are praying for you! Just remember Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, said the LORD."

I finally have got a blog and the first person I wanted to comment to is you.First time I saw you was on youtube where I chose to save your page instead of other people who gave tutorials. Why? Not just cause you are good in your job but mostly cause you inspire us! You are full of life and energy and you are so cute! Nobody -not even the people talk badly to you- nobody can ever believe you are less interesting and good person than you are. I have never stopped watching your videos since then, I even subscribed and the first days I was waching for hours your videos and even made purchases and fixed my eyebrows and seeing I am looking good I even said "I love myself!" Then I said "I am a fan of Kandee". People that I am fan of are so limited and they are mostly musicians hehe! So for me you are one of a kind! Keep on Kandee you have more friends than "enemies". Anyway thought I said what I said to boost your self confidence, this is all true and I would say it even if you didn't have a bad time. But as I have even told you on youtube: Try to find strength and loving from inside. We are the ones who determine our worth. Change your negative with positive thoughts (don't worry if you exagerate now and then) and don't give the bad people the satisfaction to see you sad.

Positive as usually :D we all wish at least for a moment to be 6 or 7 for just a bit to feel the freedom we felt when others were taking care of usbut then we remember that we are that to someone else today :D

Kandee, I don't know how you feel about gospel music but I was listening to this song today and I could not help but think of you. It's Kirk Franklin's "Better". It's kind of an old song, but the message remains the same. Any time I hear this song, I just let the chorus of voices wash over me and let tears stream down my face and realize things WILL get better and God is there for us. You have so many people thinking and praying for you... more than you can imagine. Keep your head up! And keep those videos and posts coming... we love them!

you are in my prayers and even though things may seem so tough right now, you will get through it. I've read your story, and you are such a strong person and you've been down before and look at how you have picked yourself up. You have so much to be proud of. You have an amazing family and support system of fans who are here for you. Don't let the negative words of other people get you down because people like that never win. Thank you for all the inspiration-Chyanne

you are amazing!!! i love reading your blog so much!!! i have also watched some of your youtube videos. you are seriously sooo inspiring! i love you to death! your words encourage me to make my dreams a reality. i want to be a makeup artist just like you, its what my real passion and dream is. i always tried to do something else... like even pre-pharmacy, or a helicopter pilot, or a scientist, or a teacher...but now i have decided to do what i really love, and thank you so much for your blog...ive finally started my own too. i am so excited about life now. i just want to say thank you so so much for everything you share!!!! :)

I will be praying for you, be strong, you are a child of god, he is besides you, then who can go against him. I think this is a job of our spiritual enemy and all of his devices, keep your faith you are lovely person. God bless you, from south american, chile, Pam.

i wrote you a comment yesterday and half of it got deleted because im an idot sometimes with computers haha. well as i said before it would be realy cool to have your help on my makeup dream and such, but the most important part got cut off. i said that i can see your in need of a freind for you and i would love to help you with that. i know what it feels like to have to go threw things like you are and if you wanted to vent to someone im herr.i put my email in my last post and i think if you respend to this it goes to my email. thank you so much kandee and keep your head high. the only reason why people talk is honestly because theyre jelious.

Hey Kandee, i love your videos, sorry this is super late, i didn't know about the court situation, did you get enough money to pay a lawyer (you cannot go to jail, you're a great mother, i may not know you personally but i can tell). If you don't have enough money yet, i wonder if you have a donation spot on your ebay where I can send you some money, I just want to help out. I hope and pray everything works out.your biggest fan,Lucretia

Kandee, I just wanted to say that I have been watching your videos and reading your blog for about 3 weeks now. i just happened to stumble across your videos and have learned so much. I've been reading all the good wishes that people have sent you and I just hope you have time for just one more. You are such a jewel and I hope you know what a wonderful person you are. Everything the person from Romania said is true. Keep your head up girlie. Your GREAT!!! Suzi

Hey Kandee, I've been following you on youtube for ages now :)( I an't subscribe though, coz youtube isn't letting me confirm my email..?) ANYWAYS I just want to let you know that your love and talent is so infectious, and you've inspired me so much! I'd love to become a makeup artist and I hope to start doing tutorials someday too :) You are amazing, and you've reached all the way over to me in Ireland :D much love! x x x Lia

kandee, your only given your life because god knows your strong enough to live it. we all know you can get through these bad times, just like you already have. keep your head up, we all love you more then you know !xoxoxo