Tag: Atlanta Hawks

What’s up with the Pacers? They’ve been looking like total crap lately. Playing like it too. (Zing!). The Hawks aren’t any good really and they still totally destroyed those losers. I blame Paul George for not being a superstar like everyone told me he was. I also blame Pero Antic, who scored 16 on them…

Injuries are finally catching up to the Hawks, who are now fighting for their playoff lives. It was just a matter of time after Horford went down that they would remember that he was the whole reason they were good and start sucking. Mike Scott is acting as a surrogate Horford, and is kind of…

After getting a shiny 32-million contract, Jeff Teague’s shooting numbers have predictably regressed. He is barely above 30% on threes. A common syndrome among NBA players, this reduction in play quality is referred to as “getting paid”. It happens all the time, and it is almost expected that a player’s numbers will stop improving after…

Shelvin “Mackaroni and Cheese” Mack almost defies description. I’m struggling to come up with a good analogy for his play style. The closest I’ve got is comparing him to his namesake pasta dish, macaroni and cheese. Shelvin’s scoring ability is the noodles, the main attraction. Without the scoring-noodles, nobody would even want to eat this…

Pero Antic keeps having these “okay” games. 16 points is cool. 17 points would have been cooler but the racist and biased scorekeepers took one of his points away. (to be fair his foot was totally inside the arc but that doesn’t disprove my assertion that the scorekeepers hate Macedonians.) But he can’t seem to…

Dennis Schroeder (Dënniß ßchrööder for the Germans out there, Guten Tag!) was hyped as the best pure point guard in the draft. That’s a nice way of saying that he can’t score at all. But he has good court vision and quickness, and everyone loves a selfless distributor on their team. He’s not doing super…

Quick quiz: how long was Kyle Korver’s streak of consecutive games with a made three? Answer: No one knows, because it’s the kind of achievement that is forgotten instantly, by the entirety of humanity, once it’s over. Google might know. But that thing isn’t human. Anyway, now we can watch Korver play without worry or…

The Hawks really missed Pero Antic while he was out with an injury. Not only because of his shooting range, but because of his center-ness. It turns out that NBA teams don’t play all that well when they don’t have any centers available (Mike Muscala doesn’t count because of how not good he is). Obviously…

Lying in wait on the moon’s surface, I am perfectly positioned to intercept prayers sent from earth to God up in the sky. The internet connection really sucks, and it’s a hassle to be artificially hibernated during the brutally warm periods of lunar day, but the benefits of my position vastly outweigh the negatives. And,…

Kyle Korver’s streak of 127 straight games with a made three is pretty great. That’s a lot of hot tamales. But is it the kind of record that anyone will care about once it’s over? No one cared about Dana Barros’ record until it was close to being broken. And when I look back on…