"lucky in love, unlucky at cards", you must have bought yourself a fuck by now.

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A fair line would probably be something like 10-1 I guess?

only if you find a girl who likes her men pathetic and self depreciating.

for $5k i will fly to wherever the thing is at and make an ass of myself to the most attractive girl there, so that you can pretend to knock me out and woo her with your manliness and chivalry. 10% discount if i accidentally pull her.