Drive-By Dissent

For some reason, this weekend I spotted three different cars with bumper stickers that annoyed me.

“Doing everything I can to piss off the conservative right” – 30-ish man driving a Nissan

The fish Darwin thing, with “DARWIN” written inside the fish, and legs on it – man driving a Subaru

“Don’t blame me – I voted with the majority” – Woman and her son in a Buick

I’m just so over this political bitchfest. Yeah, contratulations, you’ve spent 10 minutes and $4.95, now you’ve got some Cool Opinions! And you want the world to know all about it.

Have a freaking cookie.

How old are you? Twelve? Fourteen?

Some of us manage to keep our cars free of in-your-face political statements, and the attitude that goes with that. I mean, what kind of person feels the burning need to depreciate the value of their car by decorating it with a Darwin fish? Or a “don’t blame me” sticker, which announces (1) your ignorance of the election process, (2) your inability to “move on”, and (3) your need to advertise those two “qualities” to the world.

And the “doing everything I can” guy, well, sure, it’s good to have goals in life. Good luck with that.

So, are these folks laboring under the misconception that all drivers urgently need to know, instantly and from a distance, which cars are driven by self-regarding anti-religion types? Funny, I manage to get through the day quite nicely without inflicting my opinions in that debate on every driver within 30 feet of me.

Whatever happened to being an adult? To polite society? To the idea that we’re all in this together, even though we might disagree on some things? To the idea that it’s downright rude to force everybody who sees the back side of your car to be confronted by your precious opinions?

Try keeping it to yourself, for just a minute or two. It isn’t helping. You’re either preaching to the choir, or annoying those who think your opinions are stupid. What you aren’t doing is convincing anybody.