Thursday, April 14, 2011

Intestinal Fortitude.....A Love Poem

In the interest of proving to you that I am more than just another pretty face who can cook, I thought I'd let you know that I am also a published poet. And while I wish that I could say that I wrote this when I was a 12 year old (boy, even) I tapped this one out about ten years ago during the dregs of menopause. What do you think? Should I have kept my "talent" to myself and boosted my self-esteem through another means? Perhaps pottery? Or maybe macrame?

(Sharing stuff like this with you sometimes makes me wish I had a day job to not quit.)

Intestinal Fortitude..... by Maggie Lauer

When I itch for you and suffer so from yearning,You're like Preparation H to soothe the burning.As you work like Sigmund Freud on my mental hemorrhoid,The epitome of 'shrink', I'm quickly learning!

When my mind feels so frustrated, I could shout!You're like Ex-lax as you help me get it out.Such a perfect remedy for my irregularity,You so gently keep me going, there's no doubt!

When my heart is aching, gushing from the hurt,You're like Pepto Bismol shutting off the squirt.With this loose interpretation, I'll show my appreciation...And give thanks for all the messes you divert!

Someone should publish a compilation of all the goofy things we women have said and done while in the throes of menopause. It could even be a monologue, like that other well-known one I hesitate to name here, in mixed company. Call the new one "The Menopause Monologues". It's funnier than naming one's private parts using slutty words, right? Your poem is a hoot.

Lordy Mags, you're letting it all hang out here. I just love your blog (and you)! Strangely, I don't recall a single hot flash or other problem during menopause; perhaps because I was already such a hot headed grumpy Gus that I didn't notice.

About Me

This is my documentation of my life after turning 50. Lots of recipes, some healthy, some not so much... tossed up with a hefty dose of sarcasm and motherly love.
My email address: maggielauerrdh(at)yahoo.com