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I want to destroy your faith. I want to destroy everything you know, and everything you hold dear to your existence. I want you to forget yourself. I want to penetrate your very core. I want to make you fear your own thoughts. I want to give you a tiredness that consumes your soul. I want you to forget what it felt like to be happy. And maybe one day you will feel my pain.

In here there is nothing but chaos. I am a plaything. In here I thank Jesus. I am string wrapped tight around flesh wrapped tight around cheekbones. I am distance and unworthiness. In here I am considerate, but out there I am ill received. I try and draw my memories, but my hands do not hold still.

I have become others. I have been torn apart by therapy. I have spouted words until my fountain…