Gifting Etiquette

Half an hour ago I would have said that you should never have expectations of gifts from your guests, and that any gift at all was a bonus on top of an already great event. Then I cheated and checked my registry thank you list.

A family member bought me and my FI something off our registry that cost less than half of the matched luggage set we bought them with they got married. I guess I did have some expectations!

I need some Real Talk here, because I’m both a) annoyed, and b) completely aware how ridiculous this must sound. Please talk some sense into me.

I have some rich friends, I have some poor friends. I expect their gifts to be different. I fall on the poor friends list so my rich friends know what to expect, but that doesn’t stop them from buying me gifts within their means. Stop cheating! Just be happy you have friends that want to buy stuff YOU already picked out!

@likewoah: It’s not like you bought them a car and they bought you a box of tic tacs. You bought them a luggage set and they bought you a luggage set. That sounds fairly even. (Even if you paid more, they might not know that).

And TBH I don’t think I ever compared gifts. With the exception of one couple who was my age and married very close to me, everyone married at a different time of life and was in a different financial position.

I understand where you’re coming from!! It’s human nature to feel a twinge of annoyance when something like that happens. But there are much bigger things to worry about, and there are way worse things that could be happening to you right now, especially at this stage in the wedding planning! So just shake it off and move on!

I’m not going to be critical of how you feel, because you are already aware that it’s a bit petty.

Just keep in mind that people give what they can afford, and you never really know the details of other people’s finances. They might also throw a cheque for $1000 in your card, or as someone else pointed out, it may be just part of a gift.

You ladies are, of course, all right. I never quite got over the irritation that they didn’t send thank you notes post-wedding or post-baby shower, especially as I bought them generous gifts while a graduate student, and I guess I’d subconsciously assumed it’d all even out when my time came. But it’s never an attractive quality to get picky about what kind of gifts you receive, thank you all for your reminders.