Please note: If you have a promotional code you'll be prompted to enter it prior to confirming your order.

Customer Sign In

Returning Customer

If you have an account, please sign in.

New Customers

If you subscribe to any of our print newsletters and have never activated your online account, please activate your account below for online access. By activating your account, you will create a login and password. You only need to activate your account once.

Teens are affected by what their peers do and say — and by what they see in the media. We all know this. Most of the time, it isn’t a serious problem. But when it comes to suicide, it can be a serious problem.

That’s why many parents and professionals are worried about the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why. Based on the book by Jay Asher, it tells the story of Hannah, who kills herself and leaves behind 13 tapes for the people who played a role in her decision. The worry is that the series could make some vulnerable teens consider or try suicide.

That’s a lot of kids. And given that there are studies that show that teens are more likely to commit suicide when they hear or read about another suicide, or when a schoolmate commits suicide, it’s understandable why the Netflix series has raised alarm. Trying to stop teens from watching it is a natural response. But besides the fact that it’s hard to do that for a show mostly watched online, the better response may be to use the show to start conversations, and get educated, about suicide.

Some teens are definitely at higher risk of suicide, such as those with mental health problems, a history of abuse, a history of a previous suicide attempt, or a family history of suicide. Teens who are LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning) are also at higher risk. But given that the YRBS data shows that nearly one in five high school students thinks about suicide, there’s more that comes into play. Bullying, social isolation, and stressful life events, all of which happen to Hannah in the show, can make a teen think about dying — and, as also happens in the show, parents, friends, teachers, and others can be completely unaware of how sad and desperate a teen is feeling.

It’s certainly true that adolescence is almost by definition full of angst. But it’s important to be alert to anything that increases a teen’s risk of feeling suicidal, and to any signs that a teen is very sad, angry, or isolated. Too often, we are reluctant to even to talk about suicide, when talking is exactly what we need to do.

5 points to discuss with your child

Ideally, parents should watch 13 Reasons Whywith their teens, and talk about it. But if that’s not possible (or if their teens have already watched it), here are some points worth discussing:

The struggles and feelings Hannah has are common. So very many teens have trouble fitting in, or experience bullying, or have relationship problems, for example. Sometimes teens can feel like they are the only ones for whom life isn’t working out. Talking about this can put it in perspective, and allow you to point out that…

There are other and better solutions than suicide. As horrible as a situation might feel in the moment, there is always something that can be done, and there is always someone who can help. Things can get better — unless you are dead, in which case they can’t. However, in order to get help, you have to let someone know you need it. So…

If you ever start thinking about suicide, at all, tell someone. The best “someone” is someone who can help, or help you get help, like a parent, a teacher, or your doctor. But the most important thing is to tell someone. If you don’t feel comfortable telling someone you know, there are hotlines you can call, like the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255. And, of course…

If someone ever says that they are thinking about suicide, take it seriously. Don’t brush it off as a joke, don’t act like it’s no big deal or just a bad day. Act like they mean it, and get them help. You should also react and get help when someone is acting sadder than usual, is isolating herself or himself more, or is otherwise acting different in a way that is worrisome. If it turns out to be nothing, they will at least know how much you care about them. Which leads to another important message…

We all have the power to help — or hurt — people every day. The people around Hannah didn’t realize how much they were hurting her, or how they could have helped her. Comments and actions that seem small can be devastating; kindnesses that seem small can make all the difference. If we use this Netflix series to talk about how we are responsible for each other, and how we need to take better care of each other, it could not only help us be better people, it could save lives.

Comments:

Children love tradition, especially the tradition of people they love and respect. They think it’s okay to do what he does. Remember, fathers, you are raising children to be wives and husbands, parents and mothers of your grandchildren. Probably the same discipline techniques that you use with your children are most likely to be used to continue life.
I touched on this topic at my site hma-net.blogspot.com and showed the responses of the children in it

This article, along with other informative links, were sent out to parents of our school district. And could not have come at a better time. My daughter has become the one many of her friends turn to about their suicidal feelings. I would NEVER tell her to disengage from these friends as obviously they need someone. But of course I worry about this type of weight on the shoulders of a 15 year old child and how it might affect her. I’m hopeful to find resources and information to provide her emotional support.

I am wondering why Dr. McCarthy has suppressed an important fact that the CDC reports on its website: “Suicide affects all youth, but some groups are at higher risk than others. Boys are more likely than girls to die from suicide. Of the reported suicides in the 10 to 24 age group, 81% of the deaths were males and 19% were females.” The suggested White House Council on Boys and Men would like to help struggling boys in the US. However, President Obama dismissed the idea to form this Council next to the White House Council on Women and Girls back on 2009.

I have heard of the increase in young suicides for some time. I have wondered if the current paranoia about sexual exploitation has not tended to alienate adults from teens and younger children. The vast majority of adults such as myself would not exploit youngsters, but end to be afraid of being labeled as perverts if they do befriend them.
Two generations ago, when I was a kid, I knew adults, in particular a neighbouring farmer with whom I spent a lot of my time. We were able to talk freely with such older people and discuss problems and questions about life. Has this aid to growing up been stifled with a resulting burden on the youngsters that is showing itself in the rise in drastic acts such as suicide?
Robert Bright, UK.

You might be onto something. While it is important to protect children from abuse, the fact that young people are listened to when they report abuse or potential abuse these days must make them safer. So many people these days are suspicious of adults, especially men, who work with young kids. The level of interaction between kids and adults is now less than ideal.

Follow Harvard Health Publishing

Disclaimer:

The contents displayed within this public group(s), such as text, graphics, and other material ("Content") are intended for educational purposes only. The Content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in a public group(s).

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your healthcare provider or 911 immediately. Any mention of products or services is not meant as a guarantee, endorsement, or recommendation of the products, services, or companies. Reliance on any information provided is solely at your own risk. Please discuss any options with your healthcare provider.

The information you share, including that which might otherwise be Protected Health Information, to this site is by design open to the public and is not a private, secure service. You should think carefully before disclosing any personal information in any public forum. What you have written may be seen, disclosed to, or collected by third parties and may be used by others in ways we are unable to control or predict, including to contact you or otherwise be used for unauthorized or unlawful purposes. As with any public forum on any site, this information may also appear in third-party search engines like Google, MSN, Yahoo, etc. Your use of this site is governed by Harvard University and its affiliates Terms of Use located at www.health.harvard.edu/privacy-policy
and may be amended from time to time.

View Less

The contents displayed within this public group(s), such as text, graphics, and other material ("Content") are intended for educational purposes only. The Content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. . . .