A place for couples dealing with illness to find resources and advice, hear stories, and discover support. Whether the illness is chronic or acute, the result of disease or accident, couples can learn strategies for coping with the changes illness brings into our relationships and our worlds.
The information provided in this blog is for educational and support purposes only. It should not be used as a substitute for seeking professional care.

Friday, April 15, 2011

3 Pieces of Advice

Once in a while, I get a phone call from someone who found my blog or an article I wrote or is a friend of a friend of a friend. She or her partner has been living with pain or illness and is looking for guidance. Today, I was contacted today by the well partner of a woman who was recently diagnosed with CRPS (complex regional pain syndrome). He wanted advice, ideas, help, hope, anything.

As we spoke, I realized I have three messages that I tend to emphasize. Here they are:

There is always room for hope.

Keep searching. If one approach doesn't work, find another one. There is always something else to try.

Find the great doctors (and practitioners). Good just isn't good enough. Find the great ones. And, for me, the great ones are often those who are both clinicians and researchers.

What key messages or lessons do you offer to others (or to yourself and your partner) that keep you going or serve as anchor points for living with illness?

Three excellent strategies. I was helped by a US website called World's Healthiest Foods. I mention them because I wanted to know how to increase a certain vitamin to a specific amount using food. Within 24 hours of my question I had a reply with lots of options, links to nutional information and so much more. All this with no solicitation to buy or do anything. I hope you don't mind my mentioning this. Sometimes good information can help us eat well. Love your blog.

I really enjoy your website! My husband suffers from neuropathy and other pain related issues. I’m gathering a list of quotes and websites that I find useful for other people suffering from pain. I put your link on our blogroll - http://www.painmanagementtracker.com/blogroll-2. I would love to have my page linked to your page too.

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About Me

In November, 1999 I was whacked with a mysterious chronic pain syndrome that took me out of my life. With the help of my husband, my dog, and a combination of western and alternative approaches, I have a new life that includes working, writing, mountain climbing, smiling, and managing pain. I learned a lot along the way, especially about illness and the couple relationship. I'm also a psychotherapist, a business consultant, and have written a book about couples and illness, which was published in March 2013 (Roundtree Press)

“Illness is the night-side of life, a more onerous citizenship. Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use only the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place.”Susan Sontag