Friday, February 27, 2015

I mean, sure…we all hate winter…but nowhere near as much as the Zombies.

And you can pretty much understand why.

Snowy, icy sidewalks are not conducive to Zombie ambulation.

In other words, they don’t walk real well in snow or ice.

You know, because of the shuffling thing.

Think about it. If you can’t lift your feet, then you’re
going to get a lot of snow in your shoes.

And nothing makes a Zombie crankier than wet socks…other
than holier than thou vampires who constantly flaunt their top of the line, fine
tailored clothing in front of them.

Yeah.

You may not think it to look at them, but Zombies are pretty
sensitive to the tattered condition of their wardrobes. Hey, can they help it
if digging out of a 6 foot grave takes its toll on cotton, whether its permanent
press or not?

Retorting on Twitter

About Me

My passion these days is writing silly stories for “The
Freelance Retort”, the humor website I began in May of 2011 when the world was
supposed to come to an end. It didn’t and now I’m stuck writing these things 2
or 3 times a week.My passion before that was chocolate ice cream.

When I’m not doing this, I’m a freelance, corporate writer/director/ producer, which means—besides the many slashes—I create everything from promotional, instructional and training videos to interactive on line presentations for various corporation and health care companies. In that sense I guess you could say that I’m a “professional writer” since I do get paid to write, work from home and have lots of free time to myself. However, most of my friends and neighbors think I’m just goofing off. Naturally, being a freelance writer who deals with the sometimes insanity of the corporate world from the safety of the creative fringe, my views will more often than not be tinged with cynicism, sarcasm and a fair share of self-deprecation. I hope you enjoy them in the spirit in which they are intended….