Think Twice Before You Approach a Domme

This has been the weekend of faux subs and if you don’t know what faux means, Google it. It never ceases to amaze me the number of men out there who think they’re submissive or pretend to be submissive. It’s like submission by convenience. I know I’m not the only one who gets approached by these idiots who think the’re doing US a favor. Thank god for hitting BLOCK. I’m writing this in hopes that some of you morons will learn something from it.

I was contacted by Ed this weekend in the following email which I’ll pick apart as I go.

Dr Sue,
Thank you for following me on Twitter! 🙂

Not bad, good intro, I was pleased.

I’ve always throbbed at the idea of being Dominated by a beautiful Femdom. Attached are some more photos of Me.

Note that the M is capitalized. Throbbed? Are you fuckin kiddin me? Looks like someone has been reading too much very bad erotica. I don’t care about you throbbing. As for the photos, instead of what the usual disrespectful idiots send he sends a series of 7 photos all of which look like he’s trying to be a male model. I will throw him a bone in that he didn’t send any of his dick but seriously, again, I don’t care all this does is tell me he’s a narcissist.

Lately, the video at the link of Mistress Holly Halston making her slave hump between those boots on her feet has had me staying up late at night beating off to the clip over and over until I pump out multiple long thick white hot ropes of cum…….

ROFLMFAO!! Long, thick, white, hot ropes of cum???? First of all I don’t give a rats ass who you wank your little meat to. Once again it’s all about ED. I fail to see what he’s trying to accomplish with this. Do you think that your sad use of a sexual thesaurus will somehow turn me on? Laugh maybe. Remember he’s come to me as a submissive.

This is followed by a series of porn links which I’m assuming are clips he beats his maggot to. Again, what do I care? You seriously think I’m going to waste my precious time looking at this shit? It closes with this:

If you would ever desire to Dominate me or make me beat my throbbing meat for you in chat or on phone, I would definitely be UP for it and would do anything you want.
xo
Edward, on the floor in a strong pushup position at your feet

Un-fucking-believable! Again with the throbbing meat but it’s the ‘on the floor in a strong pushup position at your feet’ that really says it all. Dude you are not a submissive male. You’re in some nether world stuck in between unsure of who the fuck you are. Submissive males never, ever acts this way. You are so stuck on yourself you can’t see past your fucking mirror.

And he writes another email:

Being Masturbation Month, one of the things I recently discovered is using a tall upright lamp pole in my bedroom as an object to stand against and hump, my cock rubbing against the pole on either side while grabbing the lamp pole with both fists and trying to get a release that way as my body sweats for any Mistress who desires me to. Or sometimes, getting on the floor in a strong one arm pushup position and hump my lubed fist as long as a Mistress wants.

Where in your little submissive handbook does it say I care what you do with your dangling maggot? Humping a lamp? Whatever. I DON’T CARE!! I don’t even care that it’s masturbation month. Leave it to a male to even know this.’ And again we finish with some retarded ‘one arm push up’ bullshit.

Here’s what I suggest Ed. Impress your mirror cause you’re not impressing me at all. Nor would this behavior impress any other self-respecting female Domme or otherwise. It’s pathetic and sad.

If you’ve noticed on Twitter I also had @patheticbitch insist he wanted to serve me. Swearing up and down he wants to be OWNED. This has been going on for a few days. I break a cardinal rule of mine and speak to him on a Saturday which I don’t normally do, I view him on webcam (yawn and gag me). Only to get this email from him when I insist on his complete loyalty and servitude:

‘Honestly, now i am kind of wondering if i should back up and think about what i really want to do. You are right, if i am to be exclusively a slave to you Mistress, it is a complete and big committement and i have to be 100% with that. Twitter is a way i can communicate with dominant women in general and i would hate to lose that.’

He also said I scared him. Give me a fucking break. You hunt ME down, beg to serve ME and then don’t want to commit. WTF? This loser maggot who doesn’t fuck his wife and who his wife won’t even let touch her (I can understand why) needs validation from other Dommes on Twitter. Again, @patheticbitch, you are aptly named because you don’t have a clue what serving means and therefore don’t know what it means to be a true submissive male.

You both, and there are many of you, are faux subs. You think you want to serve but when it comes down to it you don’t have the balls. Yes believe it or not it takes cajones to serve a Dominant woman. And unless you plan to grow a pair you are just wasting our time. Your emails are littered with the word me you top from the bottom with stupid demands or worse, you try the very pitiable passive aggressive bullshit. Do yourselves and the rest of us a favor and stick with your internet porn and don’t bug Dominant women. Cause all you’re going to do is piss us off and get BLOCKED.

This is again the reason why I stick with being a Therapist. I don’t have the patience to ‘train’ you or be bothered with your crap. I’m constantly begged to get ‘back in the game’ and I’ve yet to have anyone prove to me it’s worth my time.

Comments

Rudeness and insensitivity are not limited to the male gender. It has been my experience in this lifestyle that such characteristics can be found just as often in the women, both submissive and dominant. The human race is not always a pleasant animal with which to deal. I must add that as a submissive male into verbal humiliation your reference to the person as a “faggot” was amazing.

After being involved with the online and real-time scene for nearly 15 years i like to call those people “asthetic submissives.” All turned on by the visuals and idea of Domination but not the actual domination itself.
i do think however, that some of the guys out there that write e-mails like this not so much because they are fake subs but more out of a lack of understanding and exposure to what Female Domination is all about, especially the younger guys that may just be starting to explore their submissive urges (Although as a whole a lot of us seem to lack common sense). For that i can only say that some need to start reading more of the great info out there like what You are putting out.

Hi Dr. Sue,
i am very inexperienced in communicating my thoughts on d/s relationships . ive never belonged to any domme. I have been married to a beautiful, strong, assertive woman for almost 28 years now. i am a rancher and unfortunately i too have to be pretty assertive and independant to be successful at what I do.

i have always had submissive tendencies and been attracted to assertive women and to the thought of ,and occasions when I have been controlled by a woman.

There are certain aspects of d/s that I am so afraid to approach my wife about. i think it is because I have an instinctive fear that she will judge that it is a sexual thing for me ,and admittedly it is to a certain extent , but I also am sure that there is a true submissive side in me that would come out if the circumstances were right? does this make any sense?

anyhow while reading this a thought occured to me that has often before , and im sure that smart strong and secure women such as you are aware of without my input ,but i never really saw this thought expressed here ,so i hope it might shed a little light on this subject.

I know what originally attracted me to this lifestyle was visuals: Attractive Women in skimpy sexy clothing weilding power over helpless men. What I have found very educational and helpful has been reading all I can from dommes such as yourself. Or dominant women perhaps is the better title.

The idea of a male submitting to a woman by “her ” standards and accepting her will over his life.
to be there for “her” pleasure and convenience. and to realize that it is possible to feel pleasure myself by serving a woman in that way ,was something I had to learn to understand. But I have had those underlying feelings for as long as I can remember. However i was raised to think contrary to that way to ,so it has always been a battle inside me.

It never surprises me then, to see arrogant males being themselves here. There is such a strong sexual component , which admiteddly im struggling with it too. And im not trying to make an excuse for them . just saying it doesnt surprise me.

I very much enjoy your writing and your views that I have read so far . i havent read alot here yet as I just found this recently , but I felt compelled to write my thoughts .

Dr. Sue, it really is crazy in this age of the Alpha-Female, how many guys still think it is about them. They talk about themselves as if it matters to anyone. My gender (male) needs to realize we are nearing an age when we will be judged on how well we serve the needs of our superiors, the Female. Thank You, gary

I have a visceral repulsion for these guys. They are textbook narcissists and usually misogynists. And when they wax un-eloquently in such vivid, gruesome detail about their penis, their ejaculate … they are either on coke (or some other upper) or would be better worshiping a man–then they can focus on his junk.

Maybe both.

Thanks. Your input and education in this community is positive & refreshing.

They may be narcissists but not necessarily misogynists. They are just stupid and ignorant. That doesn’t always translate to misogyny. With some education, they can learn to respect all women. Also keep in mind that not all women are worthy of being treated like Goddesses. Some women treat men and women like garbage.

Now THIS is an article i can agree with. i was guilty of this type of behavior in the past (though my prose was better…). After a good number of Dommes were gracious enough to reach across the Internet and back-hand my face a bit, i learned to think with the head on my shoulders (as opposed to the other one).
i still need to work on my tact as evidenced in previous comments (not just here, but elsewhere as well). i tend to let strong feelings about certain things cloud my politeness. i apologize for being rude before, both to You and Mistress Kiara. Thank You for this article.

Thank you for the apology james. All I ask is that you and everyone remember, certain things may not be for everyone, but don’t damn the ones who are different from you or who participate in things you don’t agree with.

Well, Sue, I’ve read a few articles by you now, and gonna have to say you rock. I love your attitude, sense of humor and it’s just like mine. Hahaha…that guy is wanting you to be so turned on by him, that you just can’t help yourself and then pleasure him….ultimately. And I detest his vulgarity.

And yea, I agree, sadly, he is not a minority in the male species. *sigh*

I actually feel nauseous after reading his emails. The word “throbbing” was used once too often. All I can say, is sometimes I really do pity dominant women because I don’t imagine this guy is one of a kind. Just a hunch.

I hate this shit! I mean, come on! Is it so hard to get through your tiny little brains that Dommes are here for OUR pleasure, not yours? Sounds like this ‘winner’ wants to top from the bottom because he doesn’t have the balls, brains, or skills to be a REAL top. Dumbass.

A mistake that a lot of men make when approaching a Domme is they begin to act submissive once they have met her. A Domme is a human being who has a dominant personality. Speak to a Domme like you would an ordinary person. This was advice that I read from a now retired Domme Ilsa Strix. Sending her photos of yourself is not the way to begin a relationship with her. Explain to the Domme why you want to submit to her and what you want to learn from the experience. A Dominant does not want to be bothered with selfish men who just want to get off. It’s true that you must have a lot of guts to be a submissive male. There is nothing a Dominant respects more than a humble male who can articulate his desire to submit. She is very capable of taking it from there.

Tuesday Oct 22 at 10pm ET it’s Scary Sex Worker Stories It’s that time of year when we all want to be scared and have some fun so that’s exactly what we’ll be doing on this show. I WANT YOU TO CALL IN your freakiest fetishes and scariest stories the night of the show. Whether […]