CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 12:58 pm

by Arthur Crabtree

Hello, Namaste, Salaam, G'Day.

Welcome across the cricket globe to the CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017 presented from the Waitrose Box/Computer Room Arena where I your host Arthur Crabtree will be presenting the yearly prizes for excellence in the great game with assistance from forum favourite Emily Ratajkowski who will, direct from the realm of the imagination, hand out the prestigious gongs. Also thanks to my gf who is doing some housework while I unproductively tap away on the computer.

And we have an exciting new category to look forward to.

Our team of trained experts have been taking your calls up until 12md GMT, but the lines are all now closed. Do not phone, text, or email in your choices. The names are being engraved on the trophies and in no way can I convert Bruce Oxenford to Marais Erasmus without it starting to look a bit amateurish. In fact, a bit Kumar Dharmasena.

On with the show.

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 1:28 pm

by Durhamfootman

Arthur Crabtree wrote:Our team of trained experts have been taking your calls up until 12md GMT, but the lines are all now closed. Do not phone, text, or email in your choices.

as your vote won't count, but you will definitely might still be charged

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 1:44 pm

by Arthur Crabtree

Our shareholders insist. Our thoughts go out to them.

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 2:27 pm

by Arthur Crabtree

UMPIRE OF THE YEAR, is returned to the holder, RICHARD KETTLEBOROUGH of Sheffield. Umpire Kettleborough didn't quite make it as an opening bat at Yorkshire, but since being promoted to the elite umpire list in 2009, he has been the winner of the ICC Umpire of the Year Award three times. Characterised by his intense, focused, slightly puzzled demeanour, Kettleborough comes from the studious, meticulous school of officiating, eschewing the idiosyncratic-gimmick doctrine of the noughties. Well done Richard.

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 2:58 pm

by Arthur Crabtree

Winner of the 2016 ASSOCIATES PLAYER OF THE YEAR retains that accolade in 2017, but also this year adds the YOUNG PLAYER OF THE YEAR to his impressive portfolio. This pair of awards go to RASHID KHAN of Afhanistan, the great unorthodox spinner of the Nangarhar Province, the centre of the countries lucrative opium production enterprise. Rashid figures have a nineteenth century look to them. He is the SF Barnes of developing cricketing nations. And he may be the Muralitharan of Afghanistan's anticipated arrival in Test cricket. Rashid's eyecatching sleight of hand won him a contract in the IPL with Sunrisers Hyderabad.

Another cricketer retaining their CMS trophy is ELLYSE PERRY, 2017's WOMAN CRICKETER OF THE YEAR. Ms. Perry was key in Australia's ODI series win against England in October and November and was the most productive run scorer at the Women's World Cup in England. But she wins again this year most emphatically for her totemic unbeaten 213 in the Ashes Test in Sydney; the third highest score ever in the women's game.

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 5:52 pm

by Arthur Crabtree

We have a new award category which will be announced in a short while. But first the SPIRIT OF CRICKET AWARD for 2017, which goes to a non cricketer, an Australian who linked the generations of two Yorkshire players. David Bairstow was a legend of Yorkshire cricket and the father of England gloveman Jonny Bairstow. Bairstow senior died from suicide when his son was nine years old. Eventually the similarly red haired Jonny would more substantially inherit the England keeper's gauntlets briefly possessed by his father.

In 1978 David Bairstow had had donated a prize of a pair of wicket keeping gloves won by Australian supporter Andrew Johns during the England tour of 1978-9. Which Mr. Johns in turn donated back to the son during the recent Ashes tour. Unfortunately, the gloves were given during a 5-1 England win, but returned in a 4-0 defeat. Still, for his thoughtfulness, in probably the only time he will trouble the cricket press and as the Ashes phoney war waged outside our windows, Andrew Johns is honoured at our CMS awards.

The clear winner of the ANTI-SPIRIT OF CRICKET AWARD in its inaugural year is Ben Stokes, for his long hiatus from the sport at the hands of the UK legal system following a brawl in a Bristol nightclub and a charge of actual bodily harm.

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 6:13 pm

by Arthur Crabtree

There was a clear winner in the EMERGING PLAYER OF THE YEAR bracket, which was in recognition of an incredible breakthrough year for Pakistan's HASAN ALI . Hasan was 24 yesterday so it's a double celebration. The Punjabi paceman was slow to develop but in 2017 he went stellar in international white ball cricket and in particular in the Champion's Trophy held in the English summer. He was the competition's leading wicket taker and the key player in Pakistan's unexpected victory, taking wickets and drying up the scoring at 4.3 an over. He took 3-19 in the final against India. He was the obvious recipient of the Player of the Tournament award. Tonight he takes home another statuette from the CMS voters.

CAPTAIN OF THE YEAR goes to the sometimes spiky leader of India's cricket nation, VIRAT KOHLI. India consolidated their position as the best team on the planet across the main formats, and as a formidable force on their own pitches. Virat certainly led from the front with over a 1000 Test runs and was the leading performer in ODIs.

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 6:23 pm

by Arthur Crabtree

We go into the break with the award for the BEST INTERNATIONAL T20 PLAYERS OF THE YEAR. These were won by COLIN MUNRO of New Zealand, RASHID KHAN of Afghanistan, and YUZVENDRA CHAHAL or India. Fans of the old arcane arts will be pleased to see that a couple of leggies were named in the whizz-bang T20 format. And nice to see a Kiwi make the podium, when they often seem to suffer from invisibility at awards time.

We now go into our break. Hope you brought some packing up and a hip flask because all of our budget went into our special live act tonight. Put your hands together CMS. Performing a special mash up of the old Vera Lynn classic We'll Meet Again and Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music, here is Mark Ronson and Taylor Swift. Enjoy. See you back here later for the main awards.

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 8:04 pm

by Durhamfootman

good stuff, AC

delighted for Mr Johns

he ought to have been a knighthood for being the only person this year able to give cricket a good name for something

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:58 pm

by bigfluffylemon

Good stuff as always AC.

I thought we were doing 3 women's cricketers this year? I voted for 3...

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 10:12 pm

by Durhamfootman

me too

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 10:14 pm

by Durhamfootman

sadly I have to leave the awards ceremony early, which is a pity because none of the paps have managed to take a photo of me in a nice black dress.

too much of the fizzy stuff after starving myself for 4 weeks

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 10:20 pm

by Arthur Crabtree

sussexpob wrote:Surely there has to be an award for best punch filmed on a phone

Yes, Stokes got that one this year.

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 10:22 pm

by Arthur Crabtree

bigfluffylemon wrote:Good stuff as always AC.

I thought we were doing 3 women's cricketers this year? I voted for 3...

I just spotted that I said we'd do that. I'll leave a note on the end of the thread to remind myself for next year. If there is a next year.

Shrubsole got next most votes, then Beaumont.

Sorry for *******ing that up.

Have only been able to keep this going fitfully due to other stuff going on, so I'll get a bit more in now, but I may overshoot (though not Damien Green style- I can do this material now as it's after the watershed).

Re: CMS CRICKET AWARDS 2017.

Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:15 pm

by Arthur Crabtree

Cricket's great hope for the future T20 had a low profile at international level in 2017 as demonstrated by there not being a single vote for a T20 game of the year from our esteemed voters. So we move onto the older more established fifty over game which was received most attention in the Champion's Trophy held in England in June.

While a certain amount of cricket played in the past year, in all formats, had the ambience of interesting but rather nebulous background music, the highs were significant and when the staccato passages came, they cut through memorably and with passion. In limited overs cricket, that was best exemplified by the escalating swell of Pakistan's Champion's Trophy campaign. It must be true that no neutral party favoured the Pakistan team to win the competition. They seemed to be losing the tag of unpredictable mavericks due to their recent propensity being preordained losers.

In England the previous summer they had lost heavily to the hosts, conceding the first four and winning only the most moribund of dead rubbers. As commonly in world competitions, Pakistan started up by losing to India, but they qualified for the semi finals thanks to a combination of Duckworth-Lewis and net run rate. They were mostly galvanised by the late innings bowling of Hasan Ali who won most of the big points for them in getting out of the group and then through the semi final where they hit their stride by beating England with conviction.

PAKISTAN played INDIA in the final, the latest chapter in their passionate saga of defeat and revenge. And this time, having lost the opening game, requital came for Pakistan in the final where they beat India by 180 runs. Usually limited overs games are remembered for the tightness of their denouements, but this time we remembered one for the audaciousness of its twist. This colossal victory for Pakistan is the CMS ODI OF THE YEAR, and was the game when Pakistan once again became the capricious, unorthodox cowboys of romantic legend.

ROHIT SHARMA scored a big round zero that day, lbw to Mohammad Amir. But he notched an astonishing six centuries in the year, and for the last of these in December, his 208 against Sri Lanka in Mohali, he takes home the CMS BEST INNINGS IN AN ODI award, racked up off 153 balls. There have been seven ODI double hundreds, and Rohit Sharma has scored three of them and no one else has made two.

For the BEST BOWLING IN AN ODI, we go back to June 18 at the Oval and Pakistan's huge victory against India. Chasing Pakistan's 338-4, MOHAMMAD AMIR took two Indian wickets in his first ten balls... and they were Rohit Sharma and Virat Kohli. In his fourth over he took out Virat Kohli. Amir takes the award for his spell of 6-2-16-3, a sabotage from which India never recovered.