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"Confused Teen" (Teen Monologue, Female) *Humorous*

Both Angie and Harmony are in their early teens. Angie's
going through some physical changes, inside and out, and like any other
good teenager, can't associate these changes with life's little obstacles.

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Angie: What's going on Harmony? I don't get it, why is
it when you become a teenager everything gets so confusing? I mean, what
are they doing, spiking the make-up? Is there some unwritten law that
when you become a teenager you move into the realm of insanity? If I remember
correctly, that's about the time everything started getting nutty. Think
about it...I'm supposed to wash my face BEFORE I exercise to prevent build-up.
No, I'm supposed to wash my face AFTER I exercise to prevent break-outs.
I'm NOT SUPPOSED to eat chocolate because it causes pimples. Wait, I'm
SUPPOSED to eat chocolate before I take a test, because it's great, "brain
food." I'm SUPPOSED to have lots of foods hat are rich in iron to help
my circulation. Hold on, now, I'm NOT SUPPOSED to have a lot of iron because
it prevents my body from absorbing calcium properly. Wow, if I can survive
being a confused teenager, I think I can pretty much survive anything!
(Change of heart) Let's get out of here, I'm hungry!