Dude. Would this not make the most awesome profile pic ever? Image: deltaMike via Creative Commons

You know what I absolutely cannot stand? When I’m totally engaged in a felonious activity only to realize that my dumb ass has run off and left my smartphone in the car. Nothing, I mean nothing, annoys me quite like that. Because how else would I keep all my buddies up to speed on my nefarious activities? Sure, they could wait for the 6 o’clock news, or whatever, but that’s so 2004.

Just ask Jason Valdez. He knows. Because he’s the 36-year-old man who updated his Facebook status multiple times inside a Salt Lake City hotel room during a 16-hour standoff with authorities while holding a woman hostage.