Mike Atherton says that no one could have predicted the sharp decline of so many big players as Australia complete series victory

The only sprinkler this time was turned on by the groundsman to quench his parched soil. The Australia team helped him out, singing the team song four hours after play and dousing the pitch with beer. They call it piss in these parts, anyway.

Four months, eh? England have gone from urinating on the square of the Kia Oval, to being urinated upon, in a manner of speaking, in Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth. Cocks of the walk to feather dusters. Ain’t we a team, raggedy man?

In a sporting sense, it is a result to be cherished, actually. No English