It seems like the concept of “monthsary” was invented by Filipinos. Google the word “monthsary” and 99% of the links you will come up with are Filipino blogs. I said 99% because I didn’t bother to check if there’s an international link there. There should be a few, though, because Filipinos are all over the world and they’re bound to spread the concept of “monthsary” to foreign countries.

The first link in Google is from Urban Dictionary. The first definition says that a monthsary is celebrated like an anniversary but you only celebrate it for the first eleven months of the relationship since the twelfth month is already an anniversary. It has 52 thumbs up and seven down as of this writing.

Urban Dictionary’s third definition is even more revealing. It reads:

“Commonly used among Filipinos. Its actually supposed to be monthiversary. for some reason they use it. monthsary mean that a couple has been together for a month, thus, monthsary!”

I’m quite sure a Filipino wrote that definition or a foreigner with a Filipino partner. The definition ends:

“used rather than anniversary coz couples are playas and b*tches enough to be together for only a meager amount of time.”

Now, that’s informative — or at least, insightful. Indeed, a monthsary seems to be a convenient way to enjoy the pleasures of celebrating a committed relationship without necessarily being committed to a long-term relationship at all.

Love in Bite-Size Pieces

Through monthsaries, couples can cherish their romantic moments together and celebrate them with dinner dates, sweet gifts, mushy lines, and beautiful kisses — without actually having to plod through a whole year. It’s romance in bite-size pieces.

Nothing wrong with that. In fact, I believe that love naturally comes in bite-size pieces. It comes in short bursts of passion and heartache that consume the two parties in love. I think love, due to its fickle nature, should even be marked every day.

It is merely due to people’s strong wish to make things last forever that they choose to celebrate anniversaries rather than monthsaries or daysaries (Filipinos actually are inventive enough to also think of this term. Google “daysary” for proof).

Anniversary: A Milestone of What?

Anniversaries don’t tell you anything about the quality of love that’s in a relationship. The assumption is that the love must have been really good for the relationship to last that long. But assuming that, yes, an anniversary tells you that a couple has been together for a year, what else does it say? Doesn’t the term hide a whole calendar of events that took place during that time? Doesn’t it skip the question of feelings that were felt, energies that were spent, sacrifices that have been made, and changes that may have changed the two people forever?

I think that in the end, the term “anniversary” is more misleading than a “monthsary.” After all, this is the modern world and we’re always talking about love. We’re not talking about arranged relationships and marriages here. Wealth, though still an issue, is kind of taboo and gets swept under the rug. No, we’re definitely talking about love here. People celebrate relationships because of love.

Isn’t it awful to celebrate something that has lasted a whole damn year even when you’re unsure if that something is love? It could just have been your own weakness or vulnerability that has become an addiction for you for a year. It could have been powerlessness or fear. It could have been any sad something that is other than love. The thought of celebrating your own monsters is horrible.

Of course, anniversaries could also say love has lasted a year — but why wait to celebrate love? By then, it might already be too late for you to celebrate anything.

Proud of the Pinoy Monthsary

I’m quite proud that we, Filipinos, were the ones who invented monthsaries. I think it goes to show how much we value loving each other. We just can’t wait for a year to paint the sky red with passion. It just doesn’t make sense to our culture of closeness and intimacy.

As the postmodern world speeds up each hour however, the rest of the world might eventually see the merits of monthsaries. Think of how convenient it would be for people to love and fall out of love through monthsaries. People need double, triple jobs to get by, so the time for romance gets shorter and shorter every day. Monthsaries would become achievements worth celebrating universally. Pretty soon, most people would probably just count months and not years due to the impracticality of the latter! That is a sad thought.

I’m really not against anniversaries. However, if you tell me that you’re celebrating your monthsary rather than your anniversary, I might give you a sweeter smile and a more heartfelt pat on the back.

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To Chemae: Happy second monthsary! I love you like the mind loves ideas.

Thumbs up sa monthsary pero di sa daysary, weeksary, whatever. Gusto ko ang monthsary kasi every month, may special moment. My husband and I are still celebrating monthsaries kahit na ilang years na kami. He always gave me flowers together with something and it’s just so sweet.🙂

Hi. Im Chilean and I Believe monthsaries are the best thing ever.
in our culture,eveery month is as impt as the 1st anniversary
actually my heart is in the philiphines. her name is Jesy.
and she always says,Happy Monthsary🙂
and indeed..
i really agree with this: “I think it goes to show how much we value loving each other”,well said😉

Thanks for visiting my blog, Alphi! Good luck to you and Jesy.🙂 I think Chileans and Filipinos can easily understand each other because we have a shared Spanish colonial heritage. But I’m sure what binds you and Jesy together is more than culture. It’s love and love knows no cultural boundaries.

Hi, Thank you for providing this information. Until I met my now fiancee in the Philippines last year I had never heard of the term monthsary.

I think it is appropriate that monthsaries originated in the Philippines. Filipinos are a very loving people with kind hearts. I have seen that there is a lot of love and kindness there. Long live the monthsary!

why do you need to put a name on it just to justify celebrating love, love should be shown as often as we can hopefully daily, which can be as simple as a kiss on the cheek but as i’ve seen from young filipino’s it not uncommon to have 2-3-4 bf’s or gf’s and once they find out about the others there lucky to last a month. so for myself i will stay with anniversary as it is an achievment, and continuing to show my love daily to my wife without the label on it thanks.

I get your point, Marcus. I agree that an anniversary is indeed an achievement. I’m in a relationship myself and I know how challenging it is to keep something so precious together. And not really just keeping it together but making it grow.

But to me, monthsaries also have an edge compared to anniversaries precisely because of the fact that they’re shorter. They’re not much of an “achievement” as a regular celebration of love. You look back and you can say, “Whoa, this is the same day you said “yes” to me and I still feel as lucky about it today as I did back then.” (a month ago, two months ago, etc.) I think it’s great that Filipinos found a way to celebrate the importance of the day when two people in love first officially get together.

thumbs up! my bf and i have been celebrating “monthsary” kahit 2 years mahigit na kami (close to 3 years na rin) with matching handa pa.. we just both love to feel like it was only a month ago since we started with our relationship..😉

We still celebrate monthsary kahit mag-asawa na kami. Every celebration is different. Each month should be a different restaurant. It could be anywhere as long as hindi siya papareho sa mga restaurant na napuntahan na namin to celebrate. We can always return to that resto but not to celebrate monthsary. So looking forward kami each month sa aming celebration.

By the way, I always forget our monthsary but my husband will greet me at exactly 12:01am of our monthsary. He never forgets. By the way, my husband is so sentimental that he asked me to list all restaurants we’ve been to from January 2000-until now. This month it is going to be my 160th month.. I am going to post every restaurants we’ve been to.. in my site.. Just to inspire many people…

Wow. Amazing story. Who knows? Baka nga isa kayo sa mga pinakaunang nagsagawa ng monthsary. Frankly, I’m just blown away by your husband’s sheer passion and dedication to greet you at exactly 12:01 every month. I mean, for a lot of people I know, especially with a relationship as long as yours, observing monthsaries is difficult because it happens relatively frequently. Yung iba nga may game pa kung sinong makakaalala ng monthsary because it’s so easy to forget. So kudos to you and your husband and lots of respect to him for setting the bar so high for guys out there. =)) At salamat din for taking the time to share your story on my blog. I wish you all the best. =)

Wow man. I just did a little research on the monthsary, and here I came. I’d say the Monthsary is a reflection of how shallow Filipino relationships tend to be and how low our culture’s standards have become. I think even marketers have taken advantage of it to say “spend on this and that for your monthsary.” In fact, I believe the monthsary may have come from the advertising world, invented by them to encourage people to spend (and lose money) for these “monthsaries.” And I don’t like it, it’s really a symbol of shallowness for me. It gives me the idea that Filipino lovers just do it for the one night stand, then break up once the woman is pregnant. And there you go, single mom.