Do you have a love-hate relationship with Valentine’s Day: you love your honey, but hate the inherent pressure of finding a gift which adequately expresses the depths of that love? If your gift-giving tends to fall flat, try speaking a different love language.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman’s bestselling book, The 5 Love Languages, we all speak a primary emotional love language, and we feel most loved when others communicate with us using that primary love language. For instance, if your sweetie’s primary love language is quality time and you send her roses, she may feel you don’t “get” her on some level.

This explains why those chocolates, flowers, or jewelry for her, and boxers, cigars, or flask for him, may have missed the mark in the past.

Review the list below and reflect on times when an action you took resulted in your partner feeling genuinely adored. What were the circumstances surrounding those moments? Success leaves clues.

Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation

People who thrive on words of affirmation feel it’s important to hear, “I love you because…"

Gift ideas: Write a letter, song, or poem expressing his lovable attributes; compose a playlist of love songs she enjoys; leave sticky notes around the house citing her most adorable qualities.

Love Language #2:Quality Time

If your love values quality time with you, set aside some of that precious time to spend together. (You get bonus points if you power-down your phone.)

Gift ideas: Go on a beach walk or nature hike; head out on a road trip; pack a picnic; join him in his favorite activity.

Love Language #3: Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake gifts for materialism. Most who fall into this category thrive on the thoughtfulness, effort, and personal nature of the gift.

Gift ideas: Surprise your guy with concert tickets; hand-make a card with a photo; hand-deliver flowers to your girl's workplace; select a meaningful charm for her bracelet; conduct a treasure hunt together with a series of gifts containing clues to the next gift.

Love Language #4: Acts of Service

This love language is favored by people who take on many daily responsibilities. Show your love by relieving your Valentine's burdens.

Gift ideas: Wash and gas up the car; do the grocery shopping and cooking; clean the house; serve breakfast in bed.

Love Language #5: Physical Touch

Depending on your partner, this may or may not include physical intimacy.

Gift ideas: Give her a massage; greet him with an long embrace; walk hand in hand; go out dancing.

Now you’re equipped with the secrets to speak your Valentine’s true love language this year and bestow a gift that declares, “I see you. I get you. I love you.”