My penchant for do-it-yourself work all began with the first Valentine to my wife.

We had been engaged just a few weeks. But being a single, 27-year-old guy who lived alone, I was sorely lacking in the social graces -- and finesse in romantic matters.

What should I get my fiancee for Valentine's Day? Candy? Flowers? A nice gift?

I never was very good at choosing a "nice gift" for anyone of the opposite sex.

Part of the problem is that I detest shopping -- unless, of course, it involves a trip to the hardware store. And I didn't think my fiancee would appreciate a new set of drill bits.

As a college student, I once gave a girlfriend a slinky, silvery choker necklace. She wore it once, then doubled it over and wore it on her wrist ever after. Evidently, she didn't like necklaces, but she did like bracelets. Happily, she still liked me in spite of my blunder.

Right holiday, wrong gift

One Christmas years later, I went gift shopping for my landlady. I was scrambling. I had just a day left and had been combing the mall for hours. The store shelves were empty of everything I could imagine she might like.

Desperate, I finally decided on a candle carousel, a device powered by heat from candles that made shiny, golden-colored metal angels spin.

Little did I realize the carousel was intended as a Christmas decoration, not a gift. My landlady smiled and thanked me anyway.

Experience seemed to dictate that a "nice gift" would not be appropriate for Valentine's Day. Perhaps candy would be easier.

I perused the grocery store shelves. There were so many kinds of chocolate -- cremes, caramels, cherries. And the candy came in containers large and small.

What kind of chocolate would I buy? How much should I get? What if she didn't like cremes or chocolate-covered cherries? Or worse, what if she was dieting? The last thing a newly engaged man should do is insult his dieting bride-to-be with a box of chocolates on Valentine's Day!

No, chocolates would never do. Anyway, chocolate seemed like such a ho-hum Valentine's Day gift.

Flowers from scratch?

So I went shopping for flowers.

I had procrastinated. Time was running out.

That's why there wasn't much left at the floral shop. All the other procrastinators already had snapped up nearly every bloom. And I gulped when I saw the price tags on what little was left.

How could I part with that much money for something that would wither and die in just a few days?

The notion must have been bred into me by my mother. She never liked to receive cut flowers for that very reason.

Then it dawned on me.

I could give my fiancee a lasting gift -- flowers she could enjoy all spring and summer! And it wouldn't cost me anything!

Valentine's Day arrived. I picked up the free package of lotus seeds that had arrived in the mail with a garden catalog. This would be a substantial gift. The seeds were large -- the size, shape and color of black jelly beans.

Perfect!

And my fiancee's reaction?

I knocked on my fiancee's door, and she answered.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" I said cheerfully as I handed her the unwrapped packet of seeds.

Stunned, she managed a smile anyway, and even offered a gracious "thank you."

Today, the story is told of a clueless young man who arrived at the home of a young woman on Valentine's Day, handed her a packet of seeds instead of flowers and said, "Here. Grow your own."

To add insult to injury, the seeds never blossomed.

But in spite of my ineptness, love did blossom. We were married that April and have been together for 30 years.

I didn't realize how grave my faux pas was then, but now I know how much she must have truly loved me.

And once the knot was tied, she had plans for me.

On a Christmas Day soon after, I received my first "do-it-yourself" home repair book.

I would never be telling her to "do it yourself" again.

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