Heidi: Deepen

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This round I'm taking the pieces that work and have continued to work and deepening my relationship with them, putting the whole of it all on a deep dive track. I'm signed up to do a Pinnacle Poses workshop for most of the challenge, and it no-lie intimidates me. Every Tuesday night at 7. I can't even do crow pose, and we are going way beyond that, and it will be good for me in ways I can't imagine.

Library school is keeping me busy, as are the MFA requirements and my involvement with the literary magazine, which is due to publication standards October 1. You'll hear about this in the first weeks, and then it will disappear.

I'm pretty certain there will be notes on music and film, since I'm less verbal and more visual/tactile/musical right now. This might wane, but it's where I am.

The appeal is October 4. I'm pretty much a wreck about this, so there isn't much to do other than whatever my attorney tells me to do. It's simple, in its own weird way.

There is also a series of grant writing opportunities, volunteering, and a bookshop idea that are all swirling about.

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Today I went to enter my discussion posts for the week only to find that I already had done it on Thursday. How cool is that?

I made chicken and rice soup from the leftover carcass-and-meat of a whole chicken I made this weekend, then decided to make two different loaves of bread and a batch of cinnamon rolls. If Hurricane Florance arrives, I can serve her dinner and tea. Current models have the eye of the storm passing south of where I am, but the whole thing is just massive, and rain is promised for days starting Friday-ish. I'm in a good spot, but others aren't, and flooding is a real concern. Also, any time the power goes out people start to twitch.

My new phone is here; hopefully connectivity issues will be taken care of.

Yesterday I had my first experience as a coordinator for services for the TAP-VA group in the area, and it felt really good to be of service. I made oatmeal and tea and a snack, packed it up and drove to pick up Maddison and take her to a Health Assessment Team appoitment, where I handed her off to the team and they said they would help get her a ride back to the hotel while they also looked into shelter options for her. Then last night I took her a quart of homemade vegetable and rice soup and listened as she updated me about where she might be able to get a lease. Today I heard that she has a room in a Trust house, which just makes my day.

No walking this morning, even though I did 4 miles yesterday as the sun rose, and no yoga either day as yet. Meetings yesterday, and life coaching and writing.

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I live at the little blue dot in the picture.
Looks like we're going to get drenched.
The forecast shows increasing likelihood of baking, with a strong tendency toward bacon.
Heidi's Seed Cake is nearly a foregone conclusion.

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Flood areas are being evacuated in my town. I'm safe, but only because I live uphill from the river - I'm the little purple dot in the map below.With the bulk of the rain yet to come, it's a great day for a movie a the independent theater and some research.And more soup.And maybe bread.

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk

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I have been having a rough time, emotionally. There seems to be too much -- politically, personally, financially, legally. It's all getting to me and leaving me a bit weary. The walk this morning helped, but acupuncture was even better. Vegetables from the farm and milk from an actual cow help me feel grounded and centered.

I'm wicked tired.

Looking forward to a good night's rest after yoga.

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I have been having a rough time, emotionally. There seems to be too much -- politically, personally, financially, legally. It's all getting to me and leaving me a bit weary. The walk this morning helped, but acupuncture was even better. Vegetables from the farm and milk from an actual cow help me feel grounded and centered.

I'm wicked tired.

Looking forward to a good night's rest after yoga.

You are awesome!

The Rough time is when your structure and Routine kicks in...

I usually stop doing tue selfcare work first when getting stressed and then it goes Downhill until theres an Event to Center me... Because starting again when you are really worked up is so much more difficult….

Looks like you already have cool stuff thats works for you. So just keep doing it and treat yourself to a little extra

How did you like poses?

Do you get raw cow milk in America?

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I met with the attorney. I will be going to court over support matters unrepresented. After that happens on Wednesday morning, I think I'm going to spend some time at the meditation enclave again. It's about time for me to take some minutes to recharge if I can get the ducks in a row enough to do it.

I had an interview. The commute is 75 minutes for a part-time job that pays just above minimum wage, which will likely actually cover the gas to get there.

I have new literary magazine submissions to read and rank for the next issue of the magazine, and pages to write to submit for the manuscript workshop, and readings to read and another library school project due. If I get the library project turned in Tuesday night, I'm taking the rest of it with me to the commune and focusing on that for a few days straight. To heck with this in-town stuff for a bit.

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I had an interview. The commute is 75 minutes for a part-time job that pays just above minimum wage, which will likely actually cover the gas to get there.

I got offered the job!!

This is great news, even if it means that I am still churchmouse-poor. The job is in a library, so I'm pretty tickled. I have orientation on Wednesday and am working to rearrange my schedules to accommodate an Actual Job.

In other news, I participated in some gap analysis and strategizing for coordinating care and emergency assistance to the homeless transgender population in my city. This makes my heart feel full, even if it is nothing but volunteer at this point. The Way will open.

Yoga and more yoga. This week's pinnacle pose was Crow and Side Crow. They were so difficult I spent more time falling than anything else and laughing about falling. It was a delightful class. I love yoga.

The rain finally quit after six days in a row, which followed a few days of cloudiness after a several-day-long rainy stint.

It was nice to see the sun, and I got out and walked with a friend this morning. Three miles. There was great conversation and a decaf was acquired along the way. Life is good.

I've been contacting everyone ever to let them know I'm available for housecleaning and cooking deliveries. So far I have two friends purchasing soup weekly, and a different friend had me come over to help clean his apartment this afternoon. Maybe, just maybe, I will make it through this spot.

Also, I have an attorney. This is everything. I simply don't feel as though I can fight this on my own.

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I am mad at the Republican party in my country. They seem determined to return to a Dickensian era. I'm frustrated to the point of not being able to even look at the news. Check out the universal disgust and horror that runs through the women in the picture of above as the nominee for the highest court in the land spews contempt and derision at having to explain himself. And yet I'm numb to it all, resigned. This is a disturbing response for me. I've run out of outrage though.

In other news, living in a rainy existence that approached the climate of Jabiim did wonders for my creativity. I wrote, walked, wrote more, read, and critiqued. I have more critiques to write and deliver for the literary magazine's final round. The pages for Monday's manuscript submission are complete and I like them; the posts on the library class forum were insightful and rich and I get to do it all again this weekend, and there was an outpouring of words at every turn, whether watching Eighth Grade at the independent theatre or catching a couple episodes of Riverdale (better than I thought it would be). I'm planning on writing and yoga and reading and yoga and watching Solo and Poldark and might do some yoga too.

I'm reading a book of poetry that is so good it takes my breath away. Girls Are Coming Out of the Woods by Tishani Doshi is flat out amazing. It's the end of September, and I'm so in love with Doshi's work that I have allowed it to suck the whole bandwidth of my MFA reading allotment. I find myself sitting with a single poem for hours on end, then the next morning having to read it aloud to the tea kettle, then the day after that having to write it so I can feel the words coming through the ink. This is the way poetry should be and the way it should be read. Nonetheless, other books await.

But along the way, I'm also reading for pleasure, being seduced by Nell Stephens' newest, The Romantic and the Victorian. I had a moment of disillusionment halfway through when the author became just a person, but this happens in all love affairs, and I was able to work through it. I'm three-quarters of the way into the work and will likely finish soon. The knitting is also coming along, and the new yarn for the new design seems to be generous in the extreme. I'm kind of amazed at how far I got with a single skein. The pullover's name in Beachcomber, a short-sleeve raglan top that will get a touch of lace along the sleeve edges. If I have enough of the yarn left (the local dyer donated it to me) I'm thinking of making a pair of socks to match.

In between the bouts of rain, there were bouts of fog.

I liked it more than I would have imagined.

And of course, it wouldn't be an update from me if I didn't mention food.

The Autumnal harvest is beginning and I received squash and leeks in the weekly farm delivery. The dairy herd is expanding, so there will be cream, and I'm hoping to make cultured butter sometime this month.

Also, I went to the co-op for garlic this evening. Autumn has officially happened. I'm craving duck soup, roasted roots, barley, and some squash, all followed by pumpkin pie and baked apples.

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This is great news, even if it means that I am still churchmouse-poor. The job is in a library, so I'm pretty tickled. I have orientation on Wednesday and am working to rearrange my schedules to accommodate an Actual Job.

Awesome, congrats!!

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I am mad at the Republican party in my country. They seem determined to return to a Dickensian era. I'm frustrated to the point of not being able to even look at the news. Check out the universal disgust and horror that runs through the women in the picture of above as the nominee for the highest court in the land spews contempt and derision at having to explain himself. And yet I'm numb to it all, resigned. This is a disturbing response for me. I've run out of outrage though.

I am, unfortunately, not at all surprised.

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Congratulations on the job and hope the attorney helps with the battle. I am truly baffled at how the Universe has stuff in our lives running parallel as of late, from hurricanes to political exhaustion and LGBT support.

I am having a difficult time with the internal motivation, and I know that a lot of it comes from a pervasive weariness over the NewJob and CustodyCourt routines that seem relentless. Fortunately the sun is out, and the weather is nice. I haven't been able to do much more than admire it from the window -- I'm feeling distinctly nest-some -- but there is milk and good food and an episode of Riverdale or two while I knit.

It always feels as though I'm Getting Nothing Done when this sense of generic malaise takes me, and yet I'm actually accomplishing quite a bit. The calls, the letters, the amplification of the ACLU and other meaningful pieces of resistance have helped, and the October manuscript has been submitted, the project is nearly complete for this week (due Wednesday) and the project for next week is in progress. I haven't received my podmates ' manuscripts, which is all to the good since it helps me feel okay about not printing and reading them, which I totally would not be doing even if I had them. Correspondence has been sent to the attorney. If she needs more from me she will ask. Goods and supplies have been assembled for the first day of work and for the orientation day at HR-HQ on Wednesday. I'm nervous, but all that remains is to show up and smile. It will all be fine.

I keep having weird dreams.

I haven't done a thing yet on the LGBTQ front, and I feel like a heel for dragging my feet. Maybe tonight I'll type something up.

I'm ready to consider relocation to a more progressive piece of the country in the coming years. Fortunately, the United States is quite large and diverse in its cultural offerings. I think a lot of it hangs on the kind of job I can get and the success I have in creating the Transgender Assistance & Shelter Coordination (TASC) Force. (alternate wording welcome; I would like it to spell TASK, obviously; my brain is addled and slow today and the only K word i can come up with is Kuiper).

It will all happen as it is meant to.

The Way will open.

More will be revealed.

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I'm ready to consider relocation to a more progressive piece of the country in the coming years. Fortunately, the United States is quite large and diverse in its cultural offerings. I think a lot of it hangs on the kind of job I can get and the success I have in creating the Transgender Assistance & Shelter Coordination (TASC) Force. (alternate wording welcome; I would like it to spell TASK, obviously; my brain is addled and slow today and the only K word i can come up with is Kuiper﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿)