I don’t want to take the cliche angle and just say we always suck here in DC, and we’ll never be good. That is just not true. The Redskins have been to 5 Super Bowls. MD won a national championship in 2002. Georgetown won one in 1984. I even remember watching the Bullets win the NBA championship in 1980 on my parents black and white TV in the kitchen. The one with the tin foil on the antennae.

But My God, what’s going on? It seems like every team I root for now, ultimately loses. It would be one thing if the town was filled with loveable losers. Guys that left it all on the field or court, but they just aren’t good enough. But we don’t have that. We have Andray Blatche and Rex Grossman. There’s nothing loveable at all about these guys. They’re just losers.

Also, I’m not like Bryce Harper where I can just root for the Yankees, Lakers, Cowboys and Duke. Who does that? Are you kidding me? I have hometown pride. I’ve lived here for 39 of my 42 years. I root for the damn home teams. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?

Last night, I sat down to watch the Wizards as I always do. Believe me, I know how awful they are. I bet they’d win 33% of their games this year and I already paid that bet off knowing its a loser. They’re terrible. I get it. But last night they played the New York Knicks who were missing 40% of their offense in Carmelo Anthony and Amar’e
Stoudemire. Surely they could beat a team starting Jared Jeffries, Bill Walker, Tyson Chandler, Landry Fields and Jeremy Lin. Shocker, they lost by 14.

The Hoyas have had a great season and had Syracuse on the ropes last night. I settled in to watch the 2nd half of that game and boom. Loser. It’s not like its a bad loss by any stretch. The point is though, this DC sports fan got emotionally involved in the game and lost. AGAIN. Hopefully Georgetown can make us proud in the tournament. They’re certainly capable of making a run. But don’t get your hopes up. They haven’t been past the 2nd round since 2007.

The Caps are coming off a super impressive 4-0 win over the Florida Panthers. Right now they lead the Southeastern Conference and are in line for a three seed if the season ended today. But they’re also 1 point out of 9th place and have been up and down all season. They’re great at home, but 9-14 on the road. They’re our only legitimate contender for competing for anything in town. But even they played so poorly they got their coach fired this season. Alexander Ovechkin is having an ok year, but he’s not the same player he was two or three years ago. They haven’t gotten past the 2nd round of the playoffs since Ron Wilson was here. I’m just waiting to be disappointed.

MD football is horrifying right now. Randy Edsall has infuriated every person in town except for athletic director Kevin Anderson. Some 22 or 23 players have transferred since Edsall was named coach. The latest guy rumored to leave is Danny O’Brien. And who can blame him? Both coordinators were replaced. They were a national laughingstock with their weekly uniform shenanigans. Who knows when they’ll ever get that program turned around.

On the other hand, MD Basketball seems to be in good hands. We got to enjoy a rare road conference win against Clemson. Mark Turgeon appears to be the real deal. But they’re in a transition phase and still only 4 and 5 in a down ACC. They aren’t doing anything of note this year.

I guess I can be somewhat excited about the Nats this year. They brought in some great pitchers. Steven Strasburg is as dynamic as anybody in the game. He should be stronger than last year. Bryce Harper should make his major league debut this year. I’ll root for him even though he appears to be a poster boy for Douches R Us. But now that we didn’t get Prince Fielder, I feel like the Nats are losers too. Everybody thought the Nats were the favorites to land Prince. They would have had a legitimate superstar in the lineup for years to come. Shocker, we lost that also.

And don’t even get me started on the Redskins. Mike Shanahan actually has a worse record after two years than Jim Zorn. This guy was a sure fire hall of famer before he came to town. He keeps losing at this rate he might have to wait a year or two before they let him into Canton.

The Rex Grossman and John Beck saga was another national embarrassment. How could this storied franchise be left in the hands of such unaccomplished losers?

We’re so bad that the town is scared to go after one of the 5 greatest quarterbacks who’s ever lived. We’ve convinced ourselves that our losing culture will infect Manning somehow, and if he comes here he’ll end up like every other big name that’s come to town over the last 20 years.

Who the hell can I root for around here? I love DC United. But… it’s DC UNITED. Even they haven’t been good in years. Jimmy Lange just won the WBU belt. I know… not the WBA or WBC. I’ve never heard of the WBU. But at least the guys a winner. I think he has a fight coming up soon. I’m all in.

Of course now that I’m on the bandwagon, he’ll probably lose. This is what happens to DC sports fans these days. We lose.