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Monday

Towards the end of my pregnancy my doctor kept commenting on how much extra amniotic fluid I had. I didn't know what she meant, or why she kept bringing it up. All I cared to hear during those ultrasounds was that my child was healthy, not a monster, and not freakishly huge.

During my last appointment, they recommended that I be induced because if I went to term, he'd be much too big and could have nerve damage or break my pelvis (aka he was freakishly huge lol). So induction it was! But the plan was still to have him naturally.

We arrived at the hospital at 6am. I was soooooo nervous! But having T with me was amazing. I couldn't have asked for a more supportive partner.

Baby Leo. 8lbs. 11oz.

They started their induction methods and things were going smoothly. At around 4cm. dilated, my doctor decided to break my water to move things along a little faster. It was working! Contractions were very strong, and the nurses positioned me with a ball to help the little guy move down into the birthing position that he needed to be in.

Mistake.

Within a few minutes, my doctor was in the room to check the baby's position. She reached on up where the sun don't shine and got a hand full of umbilical cord. We were dealing with a prolapsed cord (Umbilical cord prolapse occurs when the umbilical cord comes out of the uterus with or before the presenting part of the fetus. It is a relatively rare condition and occurs in fewer than 1% of pregnancies---thanks, wikipedia!)

Immediately everyone was panicking and I was told that they had to do an emergency c-section. I was devastated and scared shitless out of my mind. I wasn't mentally prepared to be cut open, and now I was being told that my unborn son's vitals were dropping.

As they wheeled me out, the tears were flowing hard. My mother and T uttered words of reassurance, and I said what I thought could be my last words to Md...I love you.

They wouldn't let anyone be in the operating room with me. I kept asking for T...and even though they got him suited up for the OR, they wouldn't let him in. That was terrifying. I laid there feeling helpless and alone...surrounded by 10 strangers that were trying to save our lives. The epidural hadn't fully kicked in when they started making the incision. It wasn't until they had already started that I felt a gush of fluids that made my body go numb. The tugging and pulling sensation of them trying to get the baby out is something that I never wish to feel again. I'll spare you the details on a few other things, but know that I'm still dealing with some PTSD like symptoms...

While the whole ordeal was very quick, those minutes felt like an eternity. I waited and waited and waited to hear his cry. It was the only thing that I felt I was holding on for. I just wanted to know that my baby was ok...and then whatever was going to happen to me didn't matter.

He was out. No cry...I watched the nurses' face for any clue as to what was going on. She was standing by my head and was the only insight I had into what was happening beyond the sheet. She would look at me, and then back over the sheet...and then back at me."They're working on him"...I felt ill. It was close to a minute after his exit that I heard his faint cry. I had an instant feeling of relief. They let me see him for a brief moment before they took him to ICU. I felt incredibly sad that I wasn't able to see him longer or hold him, but they still needed to close me up.

And close me up they did...followed by an xray to make sure that they didn't leave any tools in me since they didn't have time to prep they said 😐.

After this, I was wheeled to a recovery room where only a couple people could come in at a time. My family took turns popping in, and I felt incredibly jealous that they were all able to go see my new son, while I was stuck in pain under heated blankets shaking uncontrollably. I wanted my baby.

My son, Leo, was born around 3pm. I didn't get to see him again until around 9pm. When I finally saw him and held him on my chest it was pure joy. All of the pain I was feeling melted away (if only briefly lol). He was here. He was healthy. He was perfect.

From the time my doctor announced that the cord was prolapsed, to the time Leo was born was under 15 minutes. I can't thank my doctor enough for her quick reaction time, amazing surgical skills, and for saving us both.

I can't thank my mother enough for always being there and being our rock.

& I can't thank my partner enough for being there for us and for being such a loving and helpful man. Our Leo is so blessed to have him as a father, and I'm blessed to call him the love of my life.

Md is so thrilled to be a big brother, and has been incredibly helpful!