Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Confidence and Opinions

I am not usually a confident and openly opinionated woman, but once in a while I have a day when I feel very self confident and strong enough to voice an opinion. Of course, I try to be respectful and not too open. But there's something I've noticed:

People who are normally or naturally confident and opinionated get a free pass. People expect it of them and don't usually question or challenge their confidence or opinions. However, when I express confidence or opinions, I feel as if people want to silence me....put me back in the place they are used to me being in.

Then again, maybe normally confident and opinionated people do get questioned or challenged, but can handle that. Maybe because I'm not normally confident and vocally opinionated, I have a hard time handling the challenge.

I'm naturally quite introverted. I'm also the typical middle child diplomat and peace-maker. I hate challenge and confrontation, but I also hate being or feeling silenced, ignored. And it is hard because even though I'm introverted, my mind is in constant motion, filled with multiple thoughts at once, thoughts I'd like to express!

When a situation arises, I often have to talk it out, talk it through in order to process it, but again I am silenced....sometimes by my own lack of confidence, sometimes because people are used to me being the quiet diplomat and never making waves. It is uncomfortable to suddenly have to deal intimately with me as I hash through something.

Thankfully, I have a friend/mentor I can go to. She is very good at listening, responding only when needed, and ministering to me. She always directs me to Christ. I can be very open and honest with her. There's really very little that crosses her TMI threshold. Plus, she is fully confidential. I know everything I say to her is secure. On top of that, hubby is comfortable with her being my go-to woman and encourages me to talk with her.

Yeah, this blog post really doesn't have a point and doesn't really go anywhere except to get this off my chest. Perhaps you, dear reader, feel the same way? How do you deal with it?