Contents

[to the newly arrived recruits] I expect to lose half of you before I'm finished. I will use every means necessary - fair and unfair - to trip you up, to expose your weaknesses as a potential aviator.

[to the newly-arrived male recruits] Not all the obstacles that can trip you up are on this base. Let me tell you something about the local girls. Ever since there's been a base here, there's been what you'd call the Puget Sound Debs. The poor girls come across the sound on the ferry every weekend with just one thing in mind, and that's to marry themselves a naval aviator. A Puget Deb will tell you, "Don't you worry about contraceptives. I've got that all taken care of." Don't believe it, sweet pea. A Puget Deb will do anything and say anything to trap you. I know this sounds silly, especially in this so-called modern age, but you scuzzy college pukes should watch out, because they're out there, and you, sweet peas, are the answer to their dream!

Foley: I thought I recognized the work. Be proud of them wings. They're the only one you're leaving here with, Mayo-NAISE.

Mayo: What do you want? You want to fuck? Is that what you want? You wanna fuck? All right, come here. Get on the bed. Take your clothes off. I'll give you a good fuck.

Paula: Where's that coming from?

Mayo: Get on the bed.

Paula: I wouldn't fuck you now if my life --

Mayo: Then get the hell out of here, because I don't need this shit.

Paula: I don't know who you think you're talking to, you know. I'm not some whore you brought in here. I'm trying to be nice to you. I'm trying to be your friend, Zack.

Mayo: Well, then be a friend. Get out of here.

Paula: Fine. Fine. You know, man. You ain't nothing special. You got no manners. You treat women like whores. And if you ask me, you ain't got no chance of being no officer.

Paula: Zack, when you're through with a girl, what do you do? Do you you say something or do you just...disappear?

Mayo: I never had a girl.

[Zack sells pre-shined shoes to the other candidates and hides it in the ceiling rafters]

Perryman: Shit. I am not going to make it. Help me out, Sid. Got a spare, man?

Worley: My spare sucks. You know where the hardware store is.

Perryman: Zack, I need a buckle, man.

Mayo: I can't risk it.

Perryman: You got plenty of time, man. He's still out with the girls.

Mayo: Can't do it.

Perryman: Zack, I got to see my family, man. I can't take it if he let me out of here this weekend.

Mayo: Wouldn't want you to get an honor violation, Perryman.

Perryman: OK.

Worley: Attention on deck.

Foley: In every class, there's always one joker who thinks that he's smarter than me! In this class, it happens to be you, isn't it, Mayonnaise? [hits rafter access tile with a stick, causing contraband to fall out] Perryman, Worley...let us have this room. On the double.

Perryman: Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

Worley: Stow it!

Foley: Mayo, I want your DOR.

Mayo: No, sir. You can kick me outta here, but I ain't quitting.

Foley: Get into your fatigues, Mayo. By the end of this weekend, you'll quit.

[Foley continues taunting Mayo]

Foley: You can forget it! You're out!

Mayo: Don't you do it! Don't! You... I GOT NOWHERE ELSE TO GO! I got nowhere else to g... I got nothin' else.

Foley: All right Mayo, on your feet.

[Mayo talks to Foley about Sid Worley getting himself DOR'd]

Mayo: You didn't kick him out, did you? Wait, sir! Didn't he tell you what he's been going through?

Foley: It doesn't matter what he's been going through; that's what bartenders are for. What does matter is that he freaked out for some reason at 25,000 feet, and that can't happen. Period.

Mayo: There's this girl that he's gotten pregnant, and she's putting him through hell, sir.

Worley: He's right, Zack. It doesn't matter.

Mayo: Just like that? It's all over? With less than two weeks to go, you're out?

Foley: It can still happen to you too, Mayo-naise.

Mayo: I am talking to you, motherfucker!

Foley: What did you call me?

Lynette: [after Sid asks her to marry him] Oh, Sid! Let's do it right now! I wonder where we'll get stationed? I've always wanted to go to Hawaii!

Worley: Honey, we're not being stationed anywhere. I D.O.R.'d.

Lynette: [Shocked] You what?

Worley: I D.O.R.'d. I wasn't cut out to be a pilot. I was faking it. I've been faking everything up to now.

Lynette: But... What'll we do? Where would we go?

Worley: Oklahoma. I'll get my old job back at JC Penney's. Hell, in two years, I'll be floor manager. You're going to love Oklahoma! You and mama will get along great. Money might be tight, so we'll live at home. It's going to work out.

Lynette: Sid... There's no baby.

Worley: What?

Lynette: I'm not pregnant. I got my period this morning. There's no baby, Sid.

Worley: I'll be goddamned. What do you say we get married anyway? I love you! I don't think I really knew that till just now, just this second. I have never been happier in my life than I have in the last seven weeks. I've never felt so relaxed, and I've never felt so loved for who I really am. Lynette, marry me. Make me the happiest man in the whole world.

Lynette: I'm sorry, Sid, but I don't wanna marry you. I really like you. We've had ourselves some really great times, but I thought you understood. I want to marry a pilot. I want to live my life overseas. The wife of an aviator...[bitterly] Damn you! Goddamn you! Nobody DOR's after 11 weeks! NOBODY!

Mayo: Sir, this officer candidate request permission to see you in private... sir.