>> Friday, January 5, 2018

As I drove myself to yoga last night in spitting snow and great whooshes of wind, I felt . . . tired. The walk from my car to the studio was a blustery one. We're having wind chills down in the -20 to -30 range today -- damn cold and unpleasant. It was also cloudy, grey, and already getting dark at 4:30. It was one of those times when I just didn't feel like doing what I was doing.

A true motivation slump only four days deep into the new year.

There are times when I wonder if I'm just not a terribly motivated person. I'm surrounded by men and women who are achieving greatness, if I want to get all Grey's Anatomy for a moment. I consider myself quite ordinary. There are people all around me who are doing truly extraordinary things. Things at their jobs. Things with their families. Things within the local community and, yes, even in the world. Heck, they're even doing incredible things at the gym or on the roads (ultra-marathon friends, how do you do it?).

Some of them seem to be doing it all at once, too.

And then there's me.
I feel spent a lot of the time.
I also feel I don't do that terribly much.
Am I lacking in some way?

I kept my foot cautiously hovering over the breaks as I made my way across town on the slop-covered roads. If an old friend of mine can perform an important surgery or diagnose a disease on the daily (many high school and college "friends" are doctors) . . . surely I can muster the courage to go to an hour-long yoga class. Surely.

I did; it felt good.

Where am I going with this?

I suppose it's all relative. The whole of life. What I do today may seem insurmountable to others just as what others do seems absolutely mind-blowing to me. I do think a lot of it boils down to momentum. Once you get going at a certain pace, it's the trick of maintaining it. It's having the endurance to continue on at whatever level you find yourself attaining. I think about my running "career". There are times when I've run fast and long with ease. Other times, it's been a crawl and struggle to . . . lace my shoes. The cycles change with the seasons of my life and my own goals and desires and external forces.

I'm resisting the pull to hibernate right now. In both my body and mind. Writing has felt good. While I do a great deal of writing for my freelance job (I'm in the middle of an article right now . . . but I needed a break), I haven't done much personal writing in years. When I had Writing Chapter Three, I'd regularly share essay-style posts about motherhood. Maybe I'll return to that.

The momentum I kept up back then also encouraged me to seek more opportunities. I'm trying to hop on that train now, as I took the first step in a project I've been planning for years yesterday. More on that when I finally get the time to do more. Whenever that is. You see, we all achieve greatness in our own ways, whether through larger or small victories. I truly believe that.

Anyway, consider this a gentle prod before the weekend to keep at doing whatever you're up to that's bringing you joy or fulfillment. The momentum is the hardest part, but -- yes -- you can do it. Take a walk break if your goal is to run a bit farther. Take a mental break if you're trying to accomplish something a bit more cerebral. And try your best not to compare yourself to others.