So I was looking through one of my notebooks last night and I came across a very rough draft of the beginning of chapter twelve of "Well, This Sucks: Life According to Seth." And for some reason, I thought it was hilarious. The best part is that I don't even remember writing it. You'll probably be underwhelmed, but I wanted to share it anyway.

I think I was writing this at work, and it's pretty obvious to me that I never meant for this to be the real thing anyway, because it's almost a little too silly. Anyway, I typed it out to share, then realized that it was more fun in its handwritten form, which is why I scanned it and shoddily put the two scans together.

The stuff on the second page under the squiggly line...I have no idea where that was supposed to fit into the story, lol. Just go with it.

Sorry about my handwriting. I never write that sloppily when I'm actually intending for others to see my words.

See, growing up, I could never keep a diary. It was so boring. I mean, who wants to write about what just happened? Especially when you're just an average little girl living in suburbia. LAME. And so, although I can write Seth's man-journal, I could never actually write my own. Hypocritical, maybe? I don't know.

Anyway, the point is, I could never keep a diary, and in a similar fashion, I just can't keep an LJ. I'm not gonna get rid of this account, but I'm basically never going to use it unless I come up with more random crap to post, like unpursued story ideas or whatever.

BUT, I have gotten a Twitter specifically to interact with fanfic peeps, so check me out (yeahhhhh) at twitter.com/Krum_Cake!

So I participated in the Twilight Gift Exchange, which I will say up front that I was wary to enter because this time around was strictly Edward/Bella centered. So, you know, I signed up, listed prompts for stories that I might want to see, Edward/Bella, ho hum...

But the story I ended up receiving was a million times more than I ever expected to see.

I don't even know where to begin. This wasn't mindless fluff, the same old E/B story told yet again.

It was original. It was action-packed. It was mysterious. It was heartwarming. It was heartwrenching. It was suspenseful.

Okay, I should be sleeping, but I'm bored and not tired, so my first post in my new and reformed journal is...more random Twilight fanfiction crap. I fail at turning over a new leaf or however the phrase goes.

Behind the cut you'll find a few random excerpts from a story I never actually wrote. The premise is this: Brady is summoned by Zealth, the made-up god of imperfection or something stupid like that, and he is told that he has been chosen to stop the biggest threat the Quileutes haves seen in centuries: a Mary Sue. But although Brady is aware of the Sue's poisionous charms, is he really immune to them? I think not.

This is an idea that's been in my head forever. Years and years ago I tried to write a similar storyline wherin Ron Weasley was the chosen one or whatever, but that didn't get anywhere either. So I've just come to terms with the idea that I'm never gonna write this fic, and I'll just share what I've got in hopes that it inspires a few giggles or whatever.

I'm in love with this characterization of Brady. Someday I'll have to write a story about this guy, because he's just too much fun to write.

Not that you would even want to, but don't steal this idea, folks. Full-fledged story or not, I'm still stupidly enamored with this.

So yeah, just sit back and enjoy the crackfest that is my brain. Most of this is just one giant WTF:

So now that I'm officially back and all that, I thought I would start using this journal for cooler things. Stuff I've got in mind for the future include book and movie recommendations, important/amusing/WTF links, other random fanfiction things, pointless ramblings, and other junk that hasn't actually come to my head yet. The purpose of all this is to make my LJ, if not interesting, at least less useless.

I know, right? Who goes on hiatus for a month? I suppose I've actually been on hiatus since my last ff.net update in December, I just didn't officially declare it until last week. I'll be back mid-March, when winter quarter is over, but until then, I've been using what little free time I have to pump myself up for writing Seth's story again by looking at all my random plotting and excerpt writing. And I figured since I haven't updated this LJ in forever, I'd post something that I wrote for Well, This Sucks: Life According to Seth, but that didn't make it into the story.

It would have gone into the first entry of chapter nine, where Seth is whining about having to be the romantic liaison between Embry and Caroline. In addition to having him mediate for the two of them, I was going to have several other people from the wolf pack bring their girl troubles to Seth, just because I thought it would be funny. But I quickly realized that it was boring and that it wasn't advancing the plot and it was more angst than I could handle. Still, here's a bit I wrote that invloves Quil. Yes, Quil. You'll see.

Also, I'm aware that it's not my best work. "...eyes like the cleverest hawk in the skies"? Someone who loves "as strongly as the earth's core"? I get it. It's crappy writing. But I thought maybe at least one person out there might be interested. If not, whatevs, it helped me procrastinate even more on my RA application, and I'm all for procrastination.

I started thinking that I would turn this into a story of its own, one not connected with Seth's, because the idea is intriguing and almost too good for me to pass up. I don't think it'll ever happen, though.

Maybe I'm partial to diary stories. I don't know. But more importantly, I'm partial to stories that are funny, that are well-characterized, and most importantly, that are original. And epicinsanity101's story is certainly all three. She takes us inside the mind of one of the series's most misjudged characters and makes her (if you'll pardon the sort-of pun) human. I'm not about to go into my rant about why I feel as though characters like Jess and Lauren and Mike get a bad rap, but the fact remains that I do pity these poor, 2D characters that were created only to serve as minor distractions and weak plot devices for Bella. LAME.

What is not lame is Jessica's character voice. OH MY GOD. Her diary entries are freaking hilarious. She has perfected the art of hyperbole. This Jessica Stanley can exaggerate, exaggerate, exaggerate, and it's all done in a totally straight tone that has me giggling like some weird little freak. It's great. Seriously. It's good stuff. And she's just your average high school girl, trying to deal with her immature mother, her weight issues, and her complicated love/hate for a certain Mike Newton. Couldn't relate to self-obsessed, whiny little Bella? TRY JESSICA. REALLY.

Can I gush about this fic enough? Probably not. But my gushing is preventing you from reading it.

But go now. Read. The chapters are fairly short, so it's not like it will even take up much of your time. Give it a chance and spread the love for the minor human characters. They deserve it.

Second, there is a part of me -- and that part is pretty dominant -- that is really, really lazy.

And third, I am unconditionally and irrevocably lazy beyond repair.

I tried to get a supplement to Well, This Sucks: Life According to Seth up in time for Christmas as a gift to all of you, my darling readers, but I kind of missed the mark when I started writing it about four hours before Christmas day officially started. Yeah...

So here it is, in all its unfinished (and unedited) glory:

Title: A Craptacular Clearwater ChristmasAuthor: Krum Cake (illogical_leah)Rating: M (for language only)Pairings: NoneGenre: Humor/angstWord Count: 2,494Summary: This is the unfinished story of the days leading up to Seth Clearwater's Christmas '06, where he deals with candy canes, the fear of imprinting during the Christmas rush, and lingerie requests from his mom.Author’s Notes: This story takes place before the events of Well, This Sucks, and you do not need to be familiar with that story to understand what's going on. Also, it's entirely plotless.Disclaimer:Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.