Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Wolfe in Jornalists Clothing

Super Happy Fun Time Tuesday has come and gone. And the biggest winner of the night? Wolfe Blitzer's mom. With such a hyped up election year, a wide open race, and 5 major party candidates still in the field Wolfe Blitzer and his "awkward" situation room are having their biggest wet dream since Anna Nicole died. For some reason it's hard to tell the difference. As Blitzer brings in such astounding political minds as Bill Bennett and the like, I'm left trying to decipher if Hillary Clinton's consistent crying before major primaries are genuine or if they are just to manipulate and grab votes, much like speculating if Howard K. Stern's love was real or if it was just to manipulate and grab money. At what point did Wolfe Blitzer become Pat O'Brien? Well except for the whole drunk dialing thing. As the night progresses and the analysts "analyze" the results from each state, the term horse race continues to be used. This term was generally used in the past to decry the coverage of political elections in the manner that puts emphasis on candidates crying and if one white conservative millionaire will be able to take some of the momentum from another white conservative millionaire. Now cable news has pulled it into their lexicon of cliches with the likes of "comeback kid," "maverick conservative," "Kennedyesque' and "Reganesque." On the other hand, you have to hand it to Fox News for using the term horse race on a limited basis. Instead, they have played to their base with ads of stock cars zooming around a track with different candidates names on them with a graphic and voice over that says the race is on. And we all know that in the realm of cliches that horse race is the "Cliche of Kings," while any reference to NASCAR is the "Cliche of Guys-Who-Listen-to-Rush Limbaugh-for-the-News-While-Sitting-In-Their-Trailer-Eating-Stagg-Chili-Out-of-the-Can." Wolfe Blitzer as a journalist should be aware of the cliches and avoid their use in reporting on politics, but he embraces them and helps turn the electoral process into American Idol, unfortunately this years Clay Aiken (John Edwards) has dropped out, making news another form of reality television. But what should we expect from a guy that shares his name with a meat head from American Gladitors? As if the redundancy and cliches weren't enough CNN has been trying their hardest to make the broadcast resemble an HP commercial sans Jay-Z, Shaun White, and Jerry Seinfeld. However, in their desire to not be out done by the other news channels CNN has rolled out this technology before all of the kinks have been worked out. This often leaves Blitzer, Anderson Cooper, or old sloppily dressed former fill in the blank strategist repeatedly touching a screen to no avail and looking like my nanny trying to figure out how to use the VCR. Yet, despite all of this CNN has become a rating juggernaut on election night with 3.29 million viewers during the New Hampshire Primary. That bested Fox News who are the highest rated cable news network. When ratings are high the network will keep going to the well and gives us endless hours of Wolfe and his pack, making Ma Blitzer very proud.