Before Guitar Hero, real musicians and games hit a big fat brown note

Licensing songs and instruments are all part of the experience, but the recent news that GH World Tour will feature appearances by Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins, Ozzy Osbourne and Tantric Jedi, Sting has us a little weary. Why? As long as it doesn’t dilute the gameplay, or cost us a shilling more, should anyone give a shit? Yes - see below.

Above: Yes, that's supposed to be Sting

For years, many a popular musician tried lending their music or likeness to games and the results were generally disastrous, horrible even (if occasionally profitable.) Does anyone want to reflect on their favorite songwriter - you know, the one that got you through the hard times - and recall killing palette swapped terrorists in some wretched 3rd person shooter? No. Plus, it can be monumentally embarrassing in hindsight. So lucky for us, this article’s very purpose is to drag them through that briar patch of artistic humiliation one more time. Kick it:

Not only was Aerosmith nowhere near the first band to lend their good name to a game, Guitar Hero: Aerosmith wasn’t even the first time they starred in one. For reasons that still befuddle life forms across the universe, Midway took a long look at its arcade light-gun shooter set in a futuristic, totalitarian clusterf**k and said, “All it needs now is Aerosmith!” You could say they were right, since nobody remembers it for any other reason.

Band members were hidden throughout the game and you had to find them all if you wanted to be treated to the “true” ending: A backstage pass to a crudely animated Aerosmith performance. To save you the pain, here’s what it might’ve looked like.