“Now you go to work and make that money for poppa. I’ll just be here chillin’ all day. Thinkin’ about you, thinkin’ about me, thinkin’ about you…naked.” – Brad

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“OK bro-vine growth hormone, here’s to keepin’ it cazsh.” – Dave

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“Ooh, I hate to be this girl, but I do see some residual crust on that sandwich, and I thought that I made myself pretty crystal clear when I told you I wanted zero crust whatsoever because it hurts my teeth. Did you not feel I was clear?” – Penny

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“Well, two things you should know about me, Kent. I’m selfless and I’ve got moves like Jagger. Specifically the ones he allegedly used on David Bowie in the 70s.” – Max

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“It counts, I’ll tell you what doesn’t count, the Miami Heat’s most recent NBA championship. It was an injury-plagued, strike-shortened season. Therefore, Lebron still needs six rings to even get in the conversation with Jordan.” – Jane“Are you done?” – Alex“No. Also, Chris Bosh looks like one of Omar’s boyfriends from The Wire.” – Jane

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“…I was working with Sin-Brad for awhile. Getting pretty bad at it, which is how Sin-Brad says good because he’s got a 90s sensibility.” – Brad

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“Yes! Max, keep it cool, but you’re jazzed.” – Max (aka the internal monologue everyone has when they tell a particularly witty joke)

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“Mmm, Lunesta, nature’s Ambien.” – Max

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“Music’s pretty good huh? This is my one-man experimental band called Yoko Uno.” – Max