I am about to commit the ultimate heresy as a 50-year keeper and chronicler of baseball funny names.

This post is about funny names in football, which I admit concede nothing to baseball in this post-post-modern era. One has simply to look at just a few of the names in the recent history of the game to get the drift. Plaxico Burress. Osi Umenyiora. Mathias Kiwanuka. Santana Moss. D’Brickashaw Ferguson. And this list is only a partial accounting of the unusual and funny names that have passed through just one NFL city–New York–over the past decade.

The NFL draft begins tomorrow evening. We would be remiss in not giving it its due. Further, we will involve you, the reader in a stirring competition: a poll to pick the funniest name in the 2013 NFL draft. So without further banter, here are the nominees for Funniest…