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Tagged Chris Grayling

Citing ‘irreconcilable breakdowns’, the government has decided that henceforth Network Rail can only have access rights to the rail network at weekends, public holidays and any other inconvenient time possible. ‘It’s been a stormy relationship,’ [read...]

Following the conviction of Rolf Harris for a string of sexual assaults, the Secretary of State for Justice, Chris Grayling, is set to announce sweeping reforms to festive Hallowe’en costumes to aid the public in their identification and eventual demonisation of suspected criminals. [read...]

A ruling by Justice Secretary Chris Grayling that from August all young offenders will have to be in their cells with lights out by 22:30 may solve the UK’s sperm shortage says the British Fertility Society, [read...]

Following a spate of prisoners walking out of an open prison instead of doing the decent thing and finishing his sentence, the public are being urged to get themselves locked up at her majesty’s pleasure to help keep themselves safe from robbers and murders. [read...]