Here’s a little-known fact about David D.: I was a pretty kickass stepper in my day – as in step show competition stepper. I had a team at Davidson and was step captain for my frat. It’s on YouTube so it’s real. One day, my senior year, a librarian at Davidson came up to me with an idea.

“There are these dance competitions we do and I was wondering if you would want to lead a team.” She showed me a video of competitive librarian book card drill dances. What. The. Hell. Basically, librarians wheel around carts in synchronized precision to the tune of whatever song is in the background.

I was recently reminded that this offer – which I politely rejected – took place, and decided to try to find one of those videos she showed me. And I unlocked a treasure trove of dance competition glory.

Let’s start with the Hip-Hop group.

This video below, though, is their Illmatic. Honestly. I can’t make this stuff up.