Wife Writes About What Love Is Like When 'Instagram Isn't Looking'

After 25 years as a couple, Amy Betters-Midtvedt and Todd Midvedtzs’ marriage rarely looks Instagram-perfect― but that’s what makes it so special.

Betters-Midtvedt recently posted a now-viral Facebook post that sums up what everyday love looks like after years together.

“Listen up young ones,” she begins the letter. “This is what your knight in shining armor looks like when you are in your 40s.”

“Yes, that’s my amazing husband who is arriving on the scene with his credit card because what you can’t see is me, standing next to a cart super full of groceries that I couldn’t pay for because I couldn’t find my wallet,” the mom of five writes.

“Not sure you can tell, but he’s smiling at me,” Betters-Midtvedt says of the photo. “Yup...he had to leave work and he is smiling. His only words of admonishment were, ‘You’re not supposed to be grocery shopping I said I’d go this week.’ Seriously.”

“Love also looks like me coming downstairs to a full pot of coffee every morning because coffee is love,” she writes. “Love looks like all the lunches being made already so I can enjoy that aforementioned cup of coffee.”

Amy Betters-Midtvedt
The couple on their wedding day, almost 20 years ago.

The love Betters-Midtvedt writes about isn’t showy, but it’s the kind of love she hopes her kids eventually find in their own lives.

“Do not be fooled by big, showy promposals and giant cards with candy bars glued to them with some cute saying or by your name spelled in pepperoni by a boy who’s asking you to homecoming,” she writes. “Watch how he treats you when Instagram isn’t looking.”

Amy Betters-Midtvedt
Todd and the couple's five kids.

In an interview with HuffPost, Betters-Midtvedt said she’s teared up a few times reading the tagged comments people are leaving their own partners on the thread. She hopes the young people she addresses throughout the letter are reading, too.

“When I watched Todd walking into Aldi’s after I totally disrupted his day and he was still happy to see me, I just felt like, man, this is it: real love in action,” she said. “And there are so many ways that he makes me feel loved that have nothing to do with what the world would say romance is.”

Danielle Kruse of Polkadot Umbrella Photograpy
The couple has been together for 25 years.

How does she reciprocate that love?

“I like to make sure he is well fed; food is his love language,” Betters-Midtvedt told HuffPost. “A good pot of chili is the way to his heart.”

Forgetfulness is a shared trait among the couple, but luckily, so is the selflessness the writer describes in the post.

“I have been known to drop off a credit card myself, or bring gas when he’s stranded or just make sure that things are running smoothly in general,” she said. “It’s all about the little things.”