After taking such a long time to look at it and get advice on what steps to take, what was ahead and how it was to be best traveled; after getting detailed maps and marking off the best, most direct routes, firing up the most sophisticated of GPS Systems, he finally started off with one s i n g l e s t e p

M O M E N T O U S

One Solitary Step

was all it really took for the journey. . .and it was quite an excursion!

He walked and ran and then walked and ran some more.

One step sometimes was more similar than the one before,

but he walked on;

Sometimes, he ran faster;

Sometimes, he crawled slower;

Sometimes, he just stood still, not moving even an inch for days. . .

P A R A L Y Z E D

The road never much accommodated him. It never took one step for him or moved him forward. At times it would present him challenges. Because of it’s flaws he would slip, fall, get scrapped and cut, bloodied and bruised. Exhausted most of the time from his seemingly never ending wanderings, the road would never assist him, but it did just what a road was suppose to do:

P R O V I D E P A S S A G E

U N T I L . . .

He came to that ominous FORK in the Road. . .

It wasn’t the first one he had ever seen or even had been confronted, but this was a monumental fork;

at least he made it be so. . .

Maybe it was out of frustration. Maybe it was inspiration or just plain desperation or exasperation, but he didn’t choose left or right this time. He went straight
ahead. . .tore up his maps, unheeded his expensive advice, became deaf to the pleading-ever-rerouting-of the GPS; discarded his vast experience and he trudged on. . .

His every step was a new road planted and his heart palpitated with excitement, adventure and purpose until he came to the

A P P A R E N T E N D

Before him was a huge cater. It was wider than he could see across, deeper than he could his eyes could focus and longer than the horizon could swallow. . .

It was then, unfortunately, he discovered that with each step he had taken, not only had he advanced at least one more step, but he had also erased forever the step before.

R E T U R N

and

G O I N G B A C K

were not even concepts, let alone, possibilities.

He waited. . .w a i t e d. . .
at the end of his next step with all of its
e n l i g h t e n e d d a r k e n e d p r o m i s e. . .

It wasn’t in a step taken or dared,
but he had the sense as he damned his foolish actionsof not staying on the path,

right atT H A T
precise moment,

A L L R O A D S

led to the place that he was standing;
that in fact,
it would have never had mattered
which road he would have ever taken
whenever because they would have all led him
to this exact same place. . .

ALL OF THEM !

He had discovered at that flash,
t h e
M y s t e r y o f L i f e :

There’s no turning
or going back
because everything leads to where he was standing!

and an even grander enigma:

Coming to the End of the Horizon is never a Conclusion so much as a Commencement!

Head head high,
air rushing through his nostrils,
blood pulsating through his veins liked a busted dam,

We always have a way of celebrating many Christmases during the holidays. . .

and before and afterwards. . .

Any M O M E N T S, y e t ?

A Bell-Ringer outside of a grocery story proclaiming I must be a minister not because of my suit, tie, overcoat, but because I actually looked him in the eye and wished him a ‘Merry Christmas’ when I put a donation in his red kettle:

A M O M E N T

Standing in Starbucks on Cyber Monday and the guy in front of me, telling the Barista that he was going to buy our drinks for the morning:

A M O M E N T

Conducting the Memorial service of a man I’d never met and assuring the small gathering of people that, “You haven’t heard the last of Steve,” and before I finished saying his name a flower pot dropping loudly to the floor from the side of his casket:

A M O M E N T

Seeing an awesome performance of The Messiah and during the warm-up the magic of the music
began a wave that became a tsunami of emotion;
it was like I saved a year full of tears
and numerous times during the performance they had
no problem flowing:

A M O M E N T

Walking into the Atrium of an Inpatient Unit and having four people pointing at me; when I walked up to them they turned their cell phone around showing me a picture of myself after they had just googled me to find me for possibly conducting the memorial service of their actively dying mother:

A M O M E N T

Seeing my grandchildren from the littlest
(the two year olds)
to the oldest,
(our 16 year old)
continuing to grow right before our eyes
and yet remain very child-like at the same time:

A M O M E N T

Waking up in the middle of the night and noticing that your holding a hand that’s clutching yours:

A M O M E N T

A song that comes on from your Shuffled Playlist at the exact time you really need to hear it but didn’t know that you did:

A M O M E N T

A phone call. . .

a Text. . .

a letter. . .

a chance meeting. . .

A L L M O M E N T S. . .

It’s NOT ifM O M E N T S
ever occur

as really if they ever

C E A S E ?

Maybe the specialness of this Season

is just reserved to those who are actually

L O O K I N G for those M O M E N TS ?

When is it?

What MOMENT does IT first come or

has it ?

Is IT still there or does it lay discarded. . .

cast aside like some soon to be useless wrapping paper?

We know, long ago as it has been told us,

“MARY KEPT THESE THINGS IN HER HEART. . .”

In his Classic, THE OTHER WISE MAN, Henry van Dyke said,

“ARE YOU WILLING TO BELIEVE THAT LOVE IS THE STRONGEST THING IN THE WORLD–STRONGER THAN HATE, STRONGER THAN DEATH–AND THAT THE BLESSED LIFE WHICH BEGAN IN BETHLEHEM…(ALL THOSE) YEARS AGO IS THE IMAGE AND BRIGHTNESS OF ETERNAL LOVE? THEN. . .THEN YOU CAN KEEP CHRISTMAS, AND IF YOU KEEP IT FOR A DAY, WHY. . .WHY NOT ALWAYS?”

The scientific evidence that generosity is good for us has been scant, even as the benefits of selfishness are obvious. Recently, however, a neurological study published in Nature Communications found there may be some biological truth to the maxim after all. The study showed that generosity changed the activity in people’s brains in ways that increase feelings of happiness, even if the generous act is small or only imagined.

Scientists at the University of Zurich and elsewhere began by recruiting 50 men and women and asking them to complete questionnaires about their current mood. They then were given 25 Swiss francs (about $25) once a week for the next month. Half of the 50 were asked to spend this on themselves. The other half were instructed to choose a new recipient each week on whom to spend the money. In other words, half the volunteers agreed to be selfish and the other half to be generous.

At the beginning of the study, participants slid into an M.R.I. machine with a computer screen that flashed hypothetical scenarios involving monetary gifts to a loved one at a personal cost. The M.R.I. recorded their brain activity as volunteers decided how they would react to each situation.

Afterward, the researchers again asked participants about their mood, especially happiness, and compared the results with the responses on the initial survey. Those who agreed to give away money reported feeling significantly happier than those who planned to spend it on themselves. They also made more generous choices during the M.R.I. testing, agreeing to more scenarios that came at a personal cost. And their brains worked differently, too. When the study subjects who had pledged to spend money made generous picks, the M.R.I. scans showed greater activity in a portion of the brain, the temporo-parietal junction, associated with altruism. And that portion of their brains was also showing greater functional connectivity, communicating more readily with another part of the brain, the ventral striatum, known as the brain’s reward center.

In effect, the pledge to be generous primed people to be more giving. There are probably evolutionary undercurrents to this process, says Thorsten Kahnt, who was a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Zurich and co-author of the study and is now an assistant professor of neurology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago. Our early ancestors might not have been so eager to share food and labor with one another, he suggests, if those actions didn’t entail some reward — including the potent, if abstract, reward of happiness.

In the month following the M.R.I. study, researchers provided the promised cash to each volunteer and checked in about its dispersal. For the most part, the volunteers who had agreed to give the money away did. Though the experiment lasted only a short time and involved only simulated gains and losses, Kahnt says that “it does show a mechanistic linkage in the brain between doing something nice for someone and feeling better about yourself.”

Being a True C A R I N G C A T A L Y S Tmeans that Compassion and Love
need no Legislation or Policing and
Obliterates THEM and THEY
or I and YOUand only is known abundantly asUS and WE. . .

T I S S U E

A T i s s u e. . .

Simple request, huh. . .

I was visiting them

for just a routine visit;

One month. . .

A month ago he was power washing his deck

buying a new car

going to a clam bake

and being diagnosed for the first time

with advance pancreatic cancer. . .

A Month Ago

isn’t a very long time. . .

a mere 744 hours

a mere 44,640 minutes

a mere 2,678,4000 seconds

. . .a month

and now he’s just literally moments away from dying. . .

My Charting very sterilely states:

I provided supportive presence via active listening/validation of feelings/comments, life/faith/family review; I shared scripture/prayer/blessing/healing touch; the pt was never fully awake/responsive during visit but appears comfortable/managed; pt is showing s/s of actively dying with his breathing pattern and the mottling of his skin on his hands, lips and feet up to his knees; the family expressed thanks for my visit and for all services/interventions/support shown; when sharing that the he was our patient and they are our concern, I asked if I could be of any other service or if I could bring them anything; pt’s wife responded: “TISSUE.” Can you bring us a softer tissue?” I left room and acquired a softer box of tissues from the supply room. . . .”

Paint a picture

Just the facts

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

. . .as abrasive as a cheap, non-brand tissue. . .

He died shortly after I left for the day

and now I think of him

o f t e n

with every tissue I see

and I seem to be seeing them

e v e r y w h e r e

The word C O M P A S S I O N

comes from Greek word

which literally translates:

S U F F E R I N G W I T H

and it’s never the S U F F E R I N G

that’s emphasized so much as

THE WITH

R E A L C H A N G E

never really is the JINGLE

in your pocket

so much as the recognition

IT IS THE ONLY THING CONSTANT

in our lives

and often something we have little control. . .

A Month isn’t a very long time

A Tissue isn’t very much of a request in a world of

W A N T S

We’re not called to be millionaires

We’re not called to be Fixers

We’re not called to be Healers

We’re not called to be Nurses

We’re not called to be Doctors

We’re not called to be Chaplains

We’re not called to be Nursing Assistants

We’re not called to be Counselors

We’re called to be Compassionate People

The WHERE

THE WHEN

THE HOW

is inconsequential

to the T H A T

WE ARE COMPASSIONATE

WE ARE KIND

WE ARE EMPATHETIC

WE ARE SYMPATHETIC

WE ARE CARING CATALYSTS

IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK. . .

IS IT TOO MUCH EXPECT. . .

IS IT TOO MUCH FEEL. . .

IF WE FAIL. . . CAN IT BE IN EXHAUSTING EVERY EFFORT TO L O V E. . .

l e t s f i n d o u t

even if it’s just

a softer t i s s u e. . .

Being a True C A R I N G C A T A L Y S Tmeans that Compassion and Love
need no Legislation or Policing and
Obliterates THEM and THEY
or I and YOUand only is known abundantly asUS and WE. . .

TIME MAGAZINE’S, Jamie Ducharme recently reported just how exactly rich and enriching it is being GRATEFUL. . .

Now is the season to think about what makes you most thankful, especially since it’s

T H A N K S G I V I N G E V E

but research supports making it a year-round habit. Many studies have found there are benefits of gratitude — both mental and physical — and all it takes to enjoy them is a little bit of introspection.

Here are some surprising benefits of practicing gratitude:

Gratitude can make you more patient

Research from Northeastern University has found that people who felt grateful for little, everyday things were more patient and better able to make sensible decisions, compared to those who didn’t feel very gracious on a day-to-day basis. When 105 undergraduate students were asked to choose between receiving a small amount of money immediately or a larger sum at some point in the future, for example, the students who had shown more gratitude in earlier experiments were able to hold out for more cash.

Gratitude might improve your relationship

According to a study in the Journal of Theoretical Social Psychology, feeling grateful toward your partner — and vice versa — can improve numerous aspects of your relationship, including feelings of connectedness and overall satisfaction as a couple. “Having a partner that’s grateful for you or you being grateful for the other” can both help your love life, says Emma Seppälä, a happiness researcher at Stanford and Yale Universities and author of The Happiness Track. (Seppälä wasn’t involved with the research.)

Gratitude improves self-care

In a study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, researchers asked people to rate their levels of gratitude, physical health and psychological health, as well as how likely they were to do wellbeing-boosting behaviors like exercise, healthy eating and going to the doctor. They found positive correlations between gratitude and each of these behaviors, suggesting that giving thanks helps people appreciate and care for their bodies.

Gratitude can help you sleep

“Count blessings, not sheep,” Seppälä says. Research in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research has found that feeling grateful helps people sleep better and longer. That’s likely because “you have more positive thoughts before you go to sleep,” says Seppälä (who wasn’t involved in the study), which may soothe the nervous system. If you’re going to make a daily gratitude list, Seppälä recommends writing it before bed.

Gratitude may stop you from overeating

“Gratitude replenishes willpower,” says Susan Peirce Thompson, a cognitive scientist who specializes in the psychology of eating. The concept is similar to the Northeastern research that found a connection between gratitude and patience: Thompson says cultivating feelings of gratitude can boost your impulse control, helping you slow down and make better decisions. If you find yourself taking slice after slice of pumpkin pie, for example, Thompson recommends excusing yourself from the table to jot down a quick list of things you’re grateful for, which can help you clear your mind and reset.Gratitude can help ease depression

Thompson, the cognitive scientist, says experiments have shown that people whole partake in the “three good things” exercise — which, as the name suggests, prompts people to think of three good moments or things that happened that day — see considerable improvements in depression and overall happiness, sometimes in as little as a couple weeks. “If there were a drug that did that, whoever patented that drug would be rich,” Thompson says. “Gratitude is very powerful.”

Gratitude gives you happiness that lasts

Lots of things, from a compliment to a sugary treat, can bring little bursts of happiness. But instant gratification also goes away quickly, Seppälä explains, which leaves you craving more. “Gratitude is something that leads to much more sustainable forms of happiness, because it’s not based in that immediate gratification; it’s a frame of mind,” she says. If you regularly take time to express gratitude and thankfulness, you’re likely to see results.

TAKEAWAY:

Gratitude

isn’t a thing
a day
a season
a feeling
a situation
a ripple that merely becomes a harmless wave
. . .it’s what’s caused in us
that we can cause in another
an endless billow that just doesn’t reach shores

I was nonchalantly looking through Instagram and saw Jake Nicolella’s random photograph of a seemingly ordinary subway ride in New York City with the follow captioned thoughts:

“This world. Right now. There are trees turning orange with the fall, and trees that will remain lush year around. There are old men biding time in the mall food court reminiscing about what was, and teenagers infinitely scrolling, dreaming about what’s next. Right now. Existing in this moment. There are grandmothers, friends, hopes and lessons to be learned. There are people you will never know, or even think to know, made up of all the same flesh, time, and wonder that brought you to this moment. Right now. There are small, enraged men with weapons of war and fear in their hearts. Compelled to take lives that were never worth that fear and never theirs to take. Again and again and again. The ripple of their actions will cascade pain for generations Right now. Fear disguised as patriotism. Fear sold as justice. Fear burnt ass red hot fuel to beget more fear. But right now. There is also the last car on the M train at 6:58 pm. There are two men. There is a mother. Her seven-month-old baby. A group of high school students. There is a shared moment that lets me know that fear has no chance. That fear has no place here in this moment. There are eight lives intersecting from different points of origin, heading toward unknown and likely different terminuses, and everything is going to be okay. Here. Right now. Everything has got to be okay.”

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My name is Chuck Behrens, serving others to help others serve. I value your time and take your readership seriously. Follow along and together lets become Expert Members of Triple A: Accessible. Accountable. Available.