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I had a bad relationship and when it was over I gave up my sex life. That was over10yrs., ago. Since I've meet a wonderful man and I want to resume my sex life but when he played with me with his finger the next day I was very sore and bleeding. We did get a little intense but now I'm scared to do anything else. Will it get better is my question?

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I've been married 47 years and only had sex once, I don't feel different physically . But it has hurt me mentally and personally. I did have a hysterectomy a few years ago and that destroyed my desire for any sex. How I survived all those years I'll never know. I do see a shrink once every two weeks and take anti-depresant meds.

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I have been with the love of my life for a couple of months and last night we tryed to have sex but he couldnt get hard.... I know he hasnt been with a woman in over 7 years physically or relationship wise...could this be the cause of him not being about to get an erection while seeing me naked or attempting foreplay??

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If you haven't had sex for 30 years, I'm happy to say that it makes you ..... in charge of your body! Your body, your choice. I didn't have sex for one year after my husband died (after cheating me out of all my money) and now I can have sex whenever I want. The bad news is that you have to be very careful of who you choose - partners don't come with health cards. I had sex with a couple of men and now have settled down with just one of them. We have sex between 3 times a day to 3 times a week. It's our bodies, our choice. Just enjoy life and be safe whether you have sex or not!

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A virgin is someone who has never had sex, usually defined by penile-to-vaginal penetration.

By this definition, once someone has had sex and are, therefore, not a virgin...and then they wait to have sex for 5 days, 5 years or 5 decades...they are still not a virgin.

Sex does not have to hurt or be painful, as enough foreplay, gentle penetration and self-lubrication (or store-bought lubrication) can prevent pain.

Do you have any specific questions about what you are going through (instead of hypothetical situations?). Is this question describing yourself--are you thinking about having sex again after 5 years, and want to know what to do, what to prepare for?

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As I said above, sex does not have to be painful. Some women experience pain or discomfort the first time they have sex; others do not. Same with women who remain abstinent for a long period of time. It really depends on so many factors:

- Foreplay. Are you and your partner touching your vagina, inserting fingers (that help prepare the opening for penile penetration).
- Lubrication. Are you adequately self lubricating? You may choose to purchase some lubrication that can help with any discomfort.
- Penis size. If your male partner's penis is on the large size, you may have more discomfort then if his penis was smaller.
- Type of sex. If you experience discomfort, you can try new positions, go slower, and add more foreplay.

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