Liberal Party MP Says She Could Live On $40 An Hour

A coalition MP has opposed any raise in the Newstart Allowance saying that if she had to she was well and truly capable of living on a mere $40 an hour.

“I’d have to make a few sacrifices such as having the pool boy only come in twice a week and I’d have to use my parliamentary meal allowance to actually buy food,” said Julia Banks. “I’d take a skiing holiday locally rather than flying all the way to Whistler. As long as I knew there was a directorship of a few companies awaiting me or the odd job as a lobbying consultant at the end of it all I think I’d get by.”

However even the head of the Business Council Of Australia has stated that it would be good for the country to raise the allowance by $10 a day.

“Australia would benefit from a having a better quality of person selling their kidneys and other vital organs on the black market,” said Jennifer Westacott. “If I ever needed a new liver I’d want it to come from someone who hasn’t been scrabbling around in the muck to make a living.”

The (un)Australian attempted to talk to an unemployed person for this article but their phone ran out of credit before we could get some kind of fake quote from them.

You can check out our new show Decennium Horribilius at this year’s Sydney Comedy Festival. Hosted by The (un)Australian, the quiz show features teams of some of Sydney’s best comics trying to answer questions about the decade of the 1990s — with prizes for the audience.