One recent, sunny weekend, the playgrounds of Perth were full of little people swinging high into the sky and running across an array of wobbly bridges. Our own two-and-a-half-year-old daughter had begun her descent down a spiral slide, when another child decided to climb up the same slide. As she came around the final bend (slowly, because she is a bit unsure about spiral slides), the surprised little boy shouted ‘no’ at her and then hit her across the face.

An understandable parental reaction

No parent came running to reprimand the boy or apologise to our daughter and a moment later I heard my husband tell the boy, “You don’t hit people”. In the silence that followed, you could hear the café latte milk froth bubbles popping around the enclosure. The boy burst into tears and bolted to find his mum or dad and our daughter stood next to her dad, holding her slapped cheek and looking shocked.

We were then in a quandary, should we find the boy’s parents and explain what happened? Should we leave the playground? Should we have even said something? The parents didn’t appear to care, so we slunk out of the playground while the other families avoided looking at us.

Afterwards I decided we did the right thing. In the last three months, at public playgrounds I have had to ask bigger children to not kick sand at my daughter and her friends, to not push the smaller children out the way so they could use play equipment first, and to not snatch or steal things that are not theirs. I didn’t pull them up on their first offence either, only after they kept doing it. All the while, these children’s parents were uninterested. They were either too busy on their mobiles, drinking coffee or talking to their friends.

Intervene and get involved

I don’t regard myself or my husband as helicopter parents. Both of us believe it is important to allow children the chance to resolve disputes between themselves, but as parents don’t we have to draw a line and step in when the behaviour gets too aggressive, even if the children aren’t ours?

I think we do. If we want to live in a civil society where mutual respect is valued, then surely responsible adults should alert children to when their behaviour is affecting others unfairly. If the boot was on the other foot, I am sure these kids would hope someone would stick up for them.