Egyptian Man Stunned To See Wife In A Porn

We worship different gods. We have different skin colors. We eat and don’t eat specific foods. Someone of us are married. Some of us are gay. Some of us prefer Family Guy to South Park. Some of us like house music and yellow-gold jewelry. Some of us believe that the state has a responsibility to take care of the health of its citizens. But one thing that all of us guys have in common is that we like seeing people having sex. Along with peeing while standing up, it’s our birthright.

Emirates 24/7 is reporting that an Egyptian fellow was watching a porn in an internet café (how rude) and came (heh) across more than he had bargained for. He witnessed a “film” featuring his wife of 16 years. When he realized that her partner wasn’t himself, the man fell down, hopefully after zipping back up, and ran home to confront his wife. Once the wife went through the traditional denial-until-faced-with-irrefutable-evidence routine, she confessed to never having loved him and banging her ex-boyfriend on camera. Weird News: Porn Stars As Prom Dates?

The story gets a little sticky when the husband, the self-named “Ramadan” (named after the month of abstinence and repentance), described the porn-viewing as out of “curiosity” and his first time enjoying such a film. He then submitted as evidence 11 films that he watched, which his presumably now-estranged wife was featured in, to make sure that it wasn’t some trick of the light that made the humped actress resemble his bride. It’s the Egyptian version of Principal Skinner saying that he was visiting the Maison Derriere just to get directions away from it. Even during the Mubarak era, you’d guess that some 40 percent of the available bandwidth in Cairo was dedicated to movies featuring bellies slapping (sometimes bellies on backs). The idea that he watched one video, one time that just happened to feature his wife is pretty laughable.

What’s not particularly laughable is what may happen to wifey. Since the Arab Spring, parts of the Middle East have allegedly lightened up, but it’s generally not a part of the world that finds traditional, laugh-aloud humor in very public cuckolding.

But hey, with the advent of cellphone cams, the popularity of sexting and the ubiquity of leaked sex tapes, it’s only a matter of time before all of our wives will have starred in porn and maybe that’s the real way that technology is supposed to level the playing field.

On a semi-related note, just because you get nailed on camera and people abuse themselves to your coital visage, doesn’t make you a porn star. It’s the same way that playing guitar in a band (or nailing that Murphy account) doesn’t make you a rock star. Let’s make star mean something again.

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