I always knew that Stephen King books were based in reality: Sheryl Crow struck fear into the hearts of all by suggesting that her benign brain tumor was caused by cell phone use, although "there are no doctors that will confirm that," she told Katie Couric. "I do have the theory that it's possible that it's related to that. I [used to spend] hours on the old archaic cell phones."

Concerned that she had early-onset Alzheimers, Crow went to the doctor when she began forgetting song lyrics and generally feeling "mushy" (her word), and luckily everything turned out OK. This is kind of similar to that whole myth/possible reality that putting your laptop on your lap fries your eggs, or whatever. Is that true? If you know, email me. [NYDN, KatieCouric.com]

Katy Perry and John Mayer are almost definitely fornicating again. They spent the weekend in Las Vegas at the Wynn Hotel together, and partied at a strip club called Spearmint Rhino. Did they get dances? Let's ask a source. "As for whether they got dances, they were in a strip club... you do the math." DON'T GET FUCKING SASSY WITH ME, SOURCE. [People]

Sometime between August 30th and September 1st, Chris Brown got a tattoo of a woman's face on his neck, and now everyone is like "Is it Rihanna??!" even though it's honestly so generic that it looks like one of those carbon-copy Sexy Ladies that weird kid in high school who never spoke used to draw in his binder. (No, it's not Rihanna.) [TMZ]

When Piers Morgan insulted Rihanna's hair on Twitter, her response was: "Grow a dick." Well played. [Miami New Times]

Carly Rae Jepson of "Call Me Maybe" fame has a new song called "This Kiss," and while I am no expert on the intricacies of today's pop music, I kiiiind of think it's a shit sandwich. Discuss.

Final Lively/Reynolds nuptual details: She wore Marchesa. He wore Burberry. Martha Stewart was there, tossing back some sauv blanc and singing the crazy street woman's part in Sweeney Todd. [People]

Ryan Lochte had to cast his crush on Blake Lively by the wayside since she's a married woman now. [People]

Gwyneth Paltrow encourages her kids to play in the dirt 'cause it builds up their immune systems in case CONTAGION. [Monsters and Critics]

Cynthia Nixon is gonna play Emily Dickinson in a movie about a raunchy group of friends' crazy, booze-and-drug-fueled night in New York. JK probably not. [THR]

No no no no: a drunk Bunny Lebowski fell off the back of a motorcycle in St. Tropez. :( [Daily Mail]

Julia Roberts gave her regular delivery guy $500 bucks to fix his air conditioning when he mentioned it was broken. [Monsters and Critics]

Jay and Bey are hosting a fundraiser for Obama at the 40/40 Club. [Page Six]

Here's Taylor Swift performing her new, very sad song "Ronan" live at a Stand Up 2 Cancer Benefit, a lullaby co-written by the mother of a 4-year-old child who passed away of cancer. [Entertainment Weekly]

Kristen Stewart looked great last night. Is that news? No? Okay. [E! Online]

"Look - she is delicious, booty-licious, Licious just says what it is." —Ice T on wife Coco's debut at New York Fashion Week; what true love is; what I want someday. [The Sun]

Greg Kinnear has offered a week-long stay in a hotel on a quaint Georgia island to Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth as an engagement gift. Related: Greg Kinnear carves a peephole in the hotel wall, lights up a cigarette. [Ace Showbiz]

"I don't care if there are a million pictures of me with no make-up. I love being able to walk down the street without it. We should promote women not having to wear make-up, or at least feel we can go out without it," says Leighton Meester. I like it, but Blair would be appalled. [The Hollywood Gossip]