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Author
Topic: I'm In No Humor for a Tumor (Read 2906 times)

I swore that this would be the year that there would be no unexpected medical bills...in fact it's been two more than two years since my last ER visit, and everything seems normal and under control...

...but I got the diagnosis today: my soft tissue neck mass has turned into a parotid gland tumor and it has to come out. So a month from today I'm having a partial parotidectomy. I'll be geeting Jan and Jen with a 7-inch scar running down my face, under my ear and then back down my neck. SEXY!

Fortunately, 80% of the time these things are benign and non-recurring, so I'm hoping for the best. I simply do not have the desire to deal with a round or two of radiation therapy. And ironically, the stress of waiting for this diagnosis has been making me crave cigarettes, but I have held out.

I used to joke about my Franken-feet after those surgeries, but this is going to be some serious stitching above my shoulders.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

Thanks everyone for the well wishes! Rest assured, I am in no pain or discomfort, and I am doing the surgery at my old hospital where they have a reputation for making sure you are quite painlessloaded Comfortable.

Nick, my fabulous new doctor is only doing a partial parotidectomy because the tumor is in the very tail end of the gland, just at my jawline. He doesn't want to remove the whole gland because the end result is the same: if it's malignant, I'll have radiation therapy and still get to keep half the gland. The complication is the major facial nerves that run through the parotid. He has to operate around those and that's what makes it a 2 to 3 hour surgery. He can't just whack off the bottom (insert something here, please!)

Will, I quit smoking in October. I've taken it up a couple of nights since then, but always just for the night and not the next day. In fact, I bought a pack a month or so ago when I was having a bad night, smoked 2.5 cigs, and threw the rest away. Actually pulled the sticks out and ran water over them first to be sure I wouldn't try to fish them out of the bin later.

And Em! you remember my seafaring days! You took an awesome photo of me wearing the Jolly Roger in Montreal, and that same summer I acquired the Brown Pearl though a hand of Fate, and I still captain her to this day (though she is landlocked most of the week, commisioned to Home Depot cargo runs for the missus.)

I don't think this is going to be a cake walk, but I think my prior surgeries have left me well-prepared. I won't be mobility impaired this time, except for the ROM in my neck. I am nearly always upright when awake so I won't have to worry about keeping anything elevated...and with any luck, my painkillers will keep me plenty elevated!