Ochocinco Invading Julian Edelman’s Social Life

Guar here,
Although sometimes overshadowed by his more publicized teammates, Julian Edelman is quietly gaining popularity throughout New England (over 25,000 twitter followers and counting). Guar is an avid tweeter and follows only a select group of celebrities including, Scott Disick, Danny Devito, Shawn Michaels, and of course Julian Edelman. Compared to his teammate Chad Ochocinco, Edelman’s tweeting style is different. He isn’t a celebrity giving his opinion on global warming, instead reaching out to his followers looking for the best place to eat or to visit all around New England. His crew is usually Rob Gronkowski, Dane Fletcher, Matthew Slater, and other younger Patriots just crushing the life of a professional athlete. However, since Ochocinco has joined the team it appears that he is trying to invade this social group. Examples via a quick twitter time-line:

1.@Edelman11-“About to enjoy a steak with the boys @RobGronkowski @Dane_Fletcher and ninko.. At #delfriscos in seaport. #boom”
2.@ochocinco-“Dude you could’ve invited me to add a color geesh. RT @Edelman11: can’t wait for these darn steaks.. #gopats”
3.@Edelman11-“@ochocinco my bad bro thought you were occupied tonight. What you up to bro”

I can totally see what happened here. Gronk, Fletcher, and Edelman were all talking about going out to eat after practice. Chad overheard the conversation and told them to let him know of their plans. The Edelman crew said they would finalize their plans after showering up, Chad agreed. As soon as Chad went to shower the three of them bailed faster than when Harry got his skull set on fire in Home Alone. After realizing that he had been completely blown off, Ochocinco played the guilt card via twitter. Edelman who had no intention of including Ochocino in the evening plans whatsoever, gives the typical “thought you were busy” cliche. This event took place at the end of August, the tight group of young Pats didn’t know Chad that well. Ochocinco was probably like the new guy at work who fake laughs at all the inside jokes that happened way before he got there, the Andy Bernard of the New England Patriots.

Exhibit B:
1.@Edelman11-“#chilis for dinner.. With slater the terminator and wendy.”
2.@Edelman11-“And yes I invited @ochocinco but he wants #mickyDs”

Although subtle, Edelman brings up a good point. Do you really think a man who eats McDonald’s and drink Red Bull mixed with cranberry juice would appreciate an opulent steak dinner. I’m not a food expert at all, but Guar is pretty sure Delfriscos doesn’t have chicken fingers or a sausage McMuffin for Chad’s selective palate. While Edelman’s crew is drinking a nice smooth desert wine with their tiramisu, Chad is probably pounding his ninth Oreo McFlurry of the day.
As evident from Monday night’s game it appears that Ochocinco is having trouble adapting to the Patriots offense. Tom Brady throws for 517 yards, and Ochocinco only has one reception for fourteen yards (Edelman had one reception for nine yards). However don’t fret Jammers, Guar has faith that Chad will be accepted for the person he is and will become comfortable living in New England both on and off the field. That is as long as the McDonald’s in Patriot Place stays open. Peace out, G-U-A-R