Category: Mom Life

As with all things in life, I look to find balance in a chaotic world. Being fit is hard work with all other things thrown at you. Before we made the choice to have kids I promised myself I would get fit. I would take the dog for a nice run, and come back and do a HIIT work out. And I looked great, and I felt great. I got pregnant the first month off of birth control, and then we had a miscarriage. And that was incredibly hard. Two months later we found out we were expecting Kamden. I ate healthy and because I worked as an Industrial Engineer, I spent a lot of time walking and on my feet. I gained 39 lbs, and gave birth to an almost 10 lb baby! I laugh when I see this picture of me 13 or 14 weeks pregnant and feeling HUGE. Oh how silly and self-absorbed was I?!

Three months later we found out we were expecting Grayson. I felt terrified, I didn’t think my body could do that again. I thought my body was gone forever. This time I ate Paleo, because I had done some research, and many women said they had an easier birth and recovery. This was important to me, because our first labor and delivery was scary, more difficult than it probably should have been, and the recovery was also a trying and terrifying time. This time I gained 29 lbs and gave birth to almost an 8 lb baby. I will say my labor and recovery were substantially easier, and I felt like I was up and running much quicker this time. Maybe that’s because I had a 1 year old to chase around

With both boys I felt like breast feeding helped immensely, but the second time around the weight felt different. And then a year later I learned about diastasis recti. I had a friend who is a PT check me, and sure enough, I had almost a 3 finger gap. I wish I would have known so many different things before having kids. Postparum care being one of them!

Now, here we are two years later, and I want my old self back. I don’t care if I look like a model. I don’t care if I look like what society deems to be thin enough or pretty enough, I just know I don’t feel good about how I look. And to me, that’s all that matters. The scale has never mattered.

So here I am on a journey to find what works for me as a mom of two toddler boys, who is also working on finishing her MBA, and possibly soon returning to work. It’s a lot on my plate, but I know I can do this. I have to, for myself, and myself only. I have already committed to two days of eating under my calorie intake for 21 Day Fix. I have exercised both days. And that’s all that matters to me. For months I have felt tired, and worn down. I think a lot of it has to do with the lack of exercise and the junk I eat. But I can’t and won’t diet. I will eat things that aren’t good for me. It’s all in moderation, and that’s what has been lacking in my life a lot.

Oh how I love thee. I honestly didn’t mind the process at all. I was really intimidated at first, because so many people had told me how terrible their experience was. The boys just turned 2 and 3 in July. We use two diapers a day, one each at night time. Full disclosure, I am really lazy, and not willing to tackle night time training yet.

A lot of times I get strange looks from strangers and friends when I ask if they both need to go potty. And then comes the unavoidable question, “WAIT, they are both potty trained already?!” Why do I feel guilty about this? My response is always “yes, at around 21 months we tried it, and if it worked we went with it…” And guess what? We got extremely lucky with both boys, they both loved the process, and figured it out in a few days. Side note here, my husband totally doubted me both times 😉 Also, for once in our Irish Twinning struggle, I seriously feel like the age gap was on our side. G wants to do anything K can do. And this time I felt he was ready. And with both boys, we had decided beforehand that if it didn’t work, it didn’t work, and we would try at a later time.

So, onto my method. Now, I know this may really offend some people, and frankly, I am sorry if this offends you. But I don’t find potty training children and dogs to be all that different. The process obviously, the children and pets are vastly different 🙂

Now, the first time I attempted training pants. Big waste of time in our house. So for 3 days our boys ran around in the nude. We committed to being home. I waited untilI knew we didn’t have plans, didn’t make plans, and kept with that mentality for 3 days. Underwear, training pants, anything of sorts just confused them. For some reason, they felt that they could go in that.

No pants also makes it easier to tell if they are starting to piddle a bit. At that point I would immediately pick them up and hustle to the potty, and say ” let’s finish in the potty!” For them it helped them to associate pee goes in the potty. This is where I need to go if I need to pee. Also, it was far more noticeable for them to be able to SEE the pee coming out, and realize what it physically felt like, and what it physically looks like.

I took them at 15 minute intervals. I always asked if they would tell me if they needed to go potty. I always used the words “pee” and “poop”. Our second son is very verbally ahead of the game, but for our oldest, these one words were easier for him to express than spouting off a long sentence.

And when they went in the potty, it was like they just moved mountains. We danced, we clapped, we hugged, we kissed, etc. We just wanted to make them feel very proud of their accomplishment.

We had potty seats for every floor. I like the one that inserted into the potty, so I didn’t have to really clean anything. Our youngest was crawling into every thing when our oldest was learning, so that was just too dirty and gross for me to even think about. I loved the insert. It’s the arm and hammer one, and we love it. Eventually on our main floor (we have 3 stories) we did purchase a child seat for our actual toilet. I’m considering buying one for the boys’ bathroom now too. For now, this bad boy is in their bathroom.

With poop we made sure we always started potty training sitting down so there was no confusion between the two. By day 3 I would say they were going to the potty on their own, even if they didn’t always go. I still made sure to praise for trying, and when they went we made a bigger deal about it! I still made sure to ask them if they would tell us frequently, but not like when we first begin the process.

Now just past two and three years old they go on their own, and I can’t remember the last time we had an accident. I know we are lucky that it was this easy. But I also firmly stand behind our commitment to “guiding” them on how to use the potty. I giggle when I walk by the bathroom and see our two year old using the rest room like a big boy. I am so proud of our boys!

Am I possibly the only mom in the world who is absoultely sick of this? I mean come on, there is nothing harder, nor more important job out there than that of parenthood. Parenthood is hard enough, and now we have to worry about being attacked by our fellow parents.

The list is endless these days. You dare take a picture of your child in the car, because someone is going to tell you SOMETHING is wrong with their car seat. You talk about sending them off to preschool, and the next thing you know someone is talking to you about how you’ve ruined them by sending them to school too early, even though you and your pediatrician both agree they are ready. Dare I bring up the pediatrician, because we all know how awful doctors are, or aren’t?!

Let me tell you something, I have been blessed. I have lived the mom life in both camps. I have been a working mom and a SAHM. I have breast fed two children. I also had to move to formula with one child. I have used both cloth and disposable diapers. I have delayed vaccines due to concern, and I have vaccinated them on time with others. I have rear faced both boys as long as possible, and had to turn one forward facing, even though I didn’t feel ready, it was time. I have had to leave my child in someone else’s care other than my own, and I bawled my eyes out like a baby. I have had to leave my child in someone else’s car other than my own, and was happy I was able to have some time to get things done. I have rocked a child to sleep every night for 9 months, because that was the only way I knew how to get him to sleep. I have sleep trained a child when all other methods had failed.

My point in all of this is, we are all just doing the best with what we have at the moment. Please stop using your words to hurt each other. The world needs good parents to raise good children. The world doesn’t need more know it alls who claim to be the perfect parent. What we need is each other.