“Dr. Reality Steve” & the Trivia Game Taking the Bachelor World by Storm. Or Something Like That.

A lot of emails yesterday to me regarding AshLee’s behavior at the WTA. I’d say it’s running about 50/50, which kinda shocks me. Amazed at how many people are sticking up for her for calling Sean out. I don’t know what happened, you don’t know what happened, and only they do, but I don’t see what was to be accomplished by bringing it up. You can’t go on TV saying you’re over him, then the next sentence grill him for answers. You can’t say “you’re a southern gentleman,” then the next sentence call him a “frat boy.” She was all over the map with what she was saying, it seemed to me her only motivation for doing it (for a woman who clearly specified she was over him) was to humiliate the guy. I don’t know. I guess if you don’t like Sean, then you probably were happy she did that, I just don’t get it. Knowing how OCD she is, and how serious she was all season, and how convinced she was that she was the one for Sean, I tend to believe she took something Sean said out of context or read into it waaaaaay too much. Do you honestly think he told her he had no feelings for either of the two women? Huh? NO feelings? And then she even backed away from that statement. Very bizarre. We’ll never know what either of them said, but I tend to side on the fact AshLee was a bit engulfed in that whole situation and probably heard something she wanted to hear, not what was actually said.

I think I need to start getting a subscription to “Psychology Today.” Especially if they keep writing genius articles like this one that appeared a couple weeks ago. I especially loved their last paragraph, something I must’ve said in some way, shape, or form at least 100 times since I’ve been writing this column:

“If you are easily influenced by what you see on television, you may want to remind yourself that what you are watching is for “entertainment purposes only.” If that isn’t enough, consider limiting your exposure to the romantic, sexy stuff in order to remain focused and committed to your current relationship.”

Translation: If you watch this show for any other reason besides pure entertainment, you are completely out of whack with reality. Are there really people out there who watch this show and compare it to their own relationships? REALLY? People are that far gone from their own reality that they have to live their lives through what they see on this fabricated, manipulated, mind f**k of a show? Wow. I feel sorry for those people. Must be fun to live in fantasy land. Does it rain candy and gumdrops in their land too? The sad thing is, as much as people don’t want to admit it, I bet you over half of the 9 million people that have watched Sean’s season on a weekly basis ABSOLUTELY are letting this show influence their thinking on romance and relationships. Those people should not be allowed to pro-create.

Looks like quite a few of you are enjoying the trivia game. Thanks to those who have played, and pass it along to others who haven’t. To play the game, go to this link:

Like I said, I tried to stick to putting in questions about recent seasons, and even the ones I included about the older ones, I made somewhat easy. At least I thought they were easy. Remember, you can add questions if you want by just going to the settings button. However, remember the questions you add can’t be “opinion” questions. Example: “Who was the worst villain on the show?” That’s an opinion question. These have to be facts where there is no room for interpretation when reading the question. Black and white. Stuff like “Who was on this date,” “Who got this rose,” “Who did this,” “Which girl said this,” etc. So try and keep them basic like that, and add as many questions as you want. They’ll go into a queue and someone will approve them, as long as it can be verified and the answer you put in is correct.

So far, the top 3 easiest questions have been:

1) “Who did Jake get engaged to in St. Lucia?” It’s been answered 1,235 times and only 12 people have got it wrong.

2) “Who is the first married couple the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” franchise has ever produced?” It’s been answered 1,266 times and only 18 people have got it wrong.

3) “Which broadcast network televises the ‘Bachelor’?” It’s been answered 1,232 times and only 26 people have got it wrong.

The 3 toughest questions so far?

1) “How many Bachelors weren’t contestants from previous seasons?” It’s been answered 1,271 times and been missed 1,127 times. By the way, the correct answer is 11. 11 of the first 12 seasons, the “Bachelor” wasn’t on a previous season. Bob was the only recycled contestant in the first 12 seasons. Alex, Aaron, Andrew, Jesse, Byron, Charlie, Travis, Lorenzo, Andy, Brad, Matt were all the “Bachelor” without having been on the show before. The last 5 seasons (Jason, Jake, Brad, Ben, Sean) were all recycled from previous seasons. But to do all that math in 15 seconds, yeah, I expected people to miss that one. But maybe I could see where people counted Brad as a recycled contestant and answered “10.” But if you go in order of how they appeared, and you got to Brad’s first season, he wasn’t a recycled contestant. The second time around he was. Tricky, tricky.

2) “How many pageant girls were cast on Ben’s season?” It’s been answered 1,269 times and been missed 1,100 times. I wouldn’t expect anyone to know that off the top of their head. I was just going back through my posts and saw one where I specifically named the 7 girls from Ben’s season who were pageant girls, so I made it a question. Tough one.

3) “How many roses total were handed out the first night of Sean’s season?” It’s been answered 1,260 times and missed 1,018 times. The answer is 19. I figured since that was the most recent season, more people would get it right. Not so much. 26 girls the first night, 7 went home. Mostly blondes.

33 thoughts on ““Dr. Reality Steve” & the Trivia Game Taking the Bachelor World by Storm. Or Something Like That.”

Many times I have been reading and wish there was a “like” button……You can’t say “you’re a southern gentleman,” then the next sentence call him a “frat boy.” She was all over the map with what she was saying, it seemed to me her only motivation for doing it (for a woman who clearly specified she was over him) was to humiliate the guy….LIKE! lol

Sean’s reaction to Ashlee’s claims are what speaks louder than words..He gave no explanation only denied, denied, denied. I agree with Ashlee when she said he was two-faced, reserved with her while being a frat boy with the other girls. In reality I do think that Sean misrepresents himself and the fact that he got nervous when he was confronted is very telling of someone who’s bit shady, I give his relationship with Catherine 6-8 months.

In my opinion, I’m not so sure Sean misrepresents himself intentionally. In my own experience, I acted completely different than who I really was when I was married to my ex-husband. I was more reserved and conservative. I restrained my sense of humor. I acted more straight-laced. I was less sexually experimental. All because my ex-husband had more conservative expectations of who he wanted me to be. My dad even noticed I was no fun when I was married to him. So, three years ago I divorced him, and vowed to myself I would only be with someone if I could be myself and be accepted for who I really am. I’m a goofball. I’m sarcastic. I love to do adventurous things. I like to experiment 😉 My current boyfriend of 1 1/2 years lets me do all those things and loves me for who I am. I don’t HAVE to restrain myself around him. I think Sean felt like he HAD to act a certain way for AshLee while he really got to be his goofball self with Lindsay and Catherine. Just my 2 cents.

I agree rollingeyes…..totally!! And at the WTA Sean was taken completely off guard and probably had no idea what to say to AshLee’s claims so his actions came off kind of dumbfounded like he was trying to cover his tracks. But in reality he just had no idea what to say because he knew he didn’t say that. This is just speculation on my part, of course.

Hey. Catherine decided to “go for it”. Props to her!!! When I was much younger, I appreciated it when my girlfriend would pack an overnight bag for our Saturday night dates. That took a lot of pressure off what could have been an uncomfortable situation.

Maybe AshLee was selling herself as some southern belle who’s worth waiting for. Well, Sean didn’t buy what AshLee was selling. No reason to trash the guy and discredit his current relationship on national TV.

All humans are capable of personal growth. Most people in their early 20’s are still in the early stages of this — so the hope is that you marry someone who is equal parts capable of growth and change.

Time goes by, life changes and kids complicate things. After the dust settles, you hope you see a person who has grown and changed with you.

Unfortunately it doesn’t always happen at the same pace (or not at all) and you realize the person sitting across from you at the table doesn’t know you and doesn’t care to find out.

To the girl (woman) who’s been with her boyfriend for five years and has been ‘almost broken up with’ numerous times – you need to get out of that relationship, girl!! I think Steve was pretty spot on with his advice; it’s likely your boyfriend hasn’t had a long-term, committed relationship with many (if any) other women, and therefore is probably nervous that he might be ‘missing out’ on something. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing – it’s perfectly normal – but if he has made it clear to you that he doesn’t know if you’re the one for him.. then I think you need to leave. If it’s meant to be, maybe you’ll end up together down the road (although I wouldn’t hold my breath). Find a good man who’s ready to settle down and give you what you deserve! There’s no way (in my opinion) that it would take longer than five years to know if you want to marry someone. Given it’s not always the case, but I can honestly say that as soon as my boyfriend and I started dating I knew he was the one. We were friends beforehand and I knew how well we connected, but it’s still undeniable that we suit each other perfectly!

Take Steve’s advice and get out of the relationship – you deserve more! It’s hard starting over, but it’ll be worth it

3) Five years is a long time; so I’d give couples counseling a try before you toss the relationship. That might help you both find answers. Otherwise: Listen to Dr. RS

4) Look for friendship before looking for a partnership. That also opens you up to meeting multiple people (of both sexes) and more doors should open because of that. As a middle aged man (not single), I can’t imagine looking for a new partner after spending so many years with one person. But if I was single all of a sudden, I wouldn’t be looking to replace my wife. I would however, be looking for friends I can talk to and take time to get to know better and open up over time to possibly a more comitted relationship. But also, I have adult children and any new relationship has to conform around existing family relationships and that’s where it can get dicey. So keep an open mind and don’t expect a “green field”of opportunity because middle aged people already have complex relationships in their lives and sometimes one more is like the final straw.

5) Forget about him being your “brother”. Peaceful coexistence should be your goal.

Did AshLee not say she ‘thought’ Sean was a southern gentlemen until she saw the playback? And… I think the point she was making is Sean purposed to be a southern gentlemen ‘if’ he were, wouldn’t he have done z,y,z… ?

I’m a woman. I have a Psych degree — I’m embarrassed for Psychology Today. I’ve been lied to by some guy in order to get what he wanted. I’m in a profession where it’s my job to sort out the truth. Bringing all that to the table — and re-watching the video…

Sidebar: Let me just say that I honestly couldn’t give two sh*ts about any of those people. I assume it’s all a manipulated pile of crap, anyway…. However, I’m fascinated by puzzles, mysteries, nonverbal communication, micro-expressions… all that.

While certainly not claiming to be any sort of expert, I’ve gotten really good at sizing people up and sorting through BS. Putting all the white noise aside (That Chris Harris guy doing damage control — “AshLee would not let it go”, prior to commercial – camera flashes to audience members’ reactions, blah, blah) and focusing purely on the exchange between those two… I’m convinced that AshLee believed what she was saying and Sean was covering.

As to whether or not she’s actually over him, and why she didn’t take the high road… Why is the onus on her to go away quietly? Maybe the best way to avoid an infernal is to not start a fire. From “The Mourning Bride” by William Congreve. “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned / Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.”

And btw… up to that exchange between Sean and AshLee, I actually liked Sean and felt Des’ bro super owed him an apology. That conversation with AshLee put him in a whole new light for me — that along with the ‘born again virgin’ skirting whether there would be sex or not in the sex bungalow. Give me a break!!!

It was total sour grapes for AshLee. I’m sure Sean said something similar to what she was calling him out on (maybe not verbatim), but most people get that it’s a TV show and aren’t looking to embarrass the lead for not adhering to their white knight fantasies. “Pfft… he was just a frat boy”… “He said there were no feelings for the other girls”…. and on the other hand this is a woman that was screaming “I love you Sean” when she barely knew him and giggle-crying in her ITMs about how he had restored her faith and trust in humankind and fixed her soul. Puh-leaze. What does that say about her for falling that fast and hard for what she now claims is a total fraud? She went from extolling his virtues and sobbing with joy on the beach to a totally melodramatic exit where she gives him the Jodi Arias eyes and shuns him to get into the limo and then expects that as a “Southern Gent” he should have come after her? He gave her about as much respect as she gave him in that exit. She had her chance to hear him out but chose the passive-aggressive route and assumed the onus was on him to chase her down. Sean may be a frat boy, but she is that cray-cray girl that becomes one of those stalker exes that camps outside a guy’s house at 3am and leaves overemotional vmails on his cell veering from ominous to hysterical because she needs more ‘closure’. Sorry Ash – wish I could stick up for a girl that shares the same name as me, but when things end – keep it classy, show him you’re over it and move on. And actually – I’m not a fan of Sean’s either (I don’t think he cares much about either of the two girls left), but had to call it like it is. It was just tacky to call him out like that and not let it go.

Bottom line as far as I’m concerned about those two: neither is maturity personified…Yes, she is not exactly the most joyful kid on the playground and “truth” as she sees it, is paramount for her. Given her background, I can totally understand it. Under no circumstances, IMO, is she “cray-cray” (hate this term anyhow). Sean, on the other hand, is not quite as grown up as he might have led us to believe he is. He really is like a kid in a candy shop with all these girls and he really is into having the opportunity to just be that “kid”. Can’t fault him for that, though that’s certainly not how he was portrayed to us by the network, and perhaps not how he saw himself prior to the experience.

I think they’ll both find happiness in life, don’t see either of them as damaged beyond finding and keeping love, but no doubt it will come well after all this Hollywood hoopla is over and done.

(Catherine is clearly a work in progress too, and I hope she can steer a path that will bring her both fun and success, both of which it seems she’s looking for.)

@Tiarra – it’s interesting that she’s kindof become a non-issue…but my final two cents about her aren’t really about “her”. They’re about the other women in the house. Couldn’t they just accept the fact that she was kind of damaged in terms of social interactions, etc. and leave her alone? All those eye rolls while she was talking made them look like high schoolers. Later though I wondered if some of them were edited in to make it look as if they were responding to her when perhaps they were just thinking about how they were going to get up in time to make their early flights home, or whatever. You really can’t trust anything about this show.

For those backing Ashlee, all you have to do is go back to the hometowns. Her father said, in essence, “if AshLee doesn’t win, I’ll have to do some major damage control”. Translation: she’s crazy and a breakup will spin her into total breakdown mode that I’ll have to deal with in a big way. This is her Dad, not some random person who’s basically saying she’s a loon who absolutely will not be able to handle a breakup. Now, given that, which is more likely: (1) Sean is a bad guy who lied to AshLee or (2) AshLee was living in her own dream world, which came crashing down…. and she either believed her own lie and/or wanted to make Sean pay for hurting her. Any rational person, not bogged down with their own relationship/abandonment issues, can clearly see the answer.

@Rob22 – I think perhaps the only one “backing” someone amongst more recent commentators is you. Perhaps, just perhaps what AshLee’s Dad was implying is that his daughter being disillusioned might cause a setback of her early abandonment issues???? Isn’t that more logical than the Kreskin-like leap you made? Except that wouldn’t fit into your incessant inventing of ‘facts’, and assumptions to fit your sophomoric conclusions. Neither I, nor the last commentator on this thread is “backing” anyone. You have elected yourself to that post and we gladly leave you to it. Strictly based on your ‘contributions’ here, I can only conclude that you’re either grossly immature or 12.

I think the reason people are coming down on AshLee is that nobody can remember the last time a #3 placing girl was still this embittered about it and angry at the lead by the time the ‘Women Tell All’ episode is taped. This causes people to think that she likely wasn’t emotionally stable enough to deal with the realities of RealityTV.

The #3 girl might be vaguely weepy with memories but for the most part they’re doing the “It all worked out for the best” speech and saying how the lead is a great person and they wish them all the best. The fact that she dismissively insulted him and then grilled him to the extent she did (even going into commercials) and refused to let it go leads me to think that she’s been stewing about this non-stop for months. I mean she didn’t even really know Sean all that well – how can she still be *this* upset about it. She’s saying the things that we say to our girlfriends in private after bad breakups (“he said XYZ, he was such a liar” and “he’s just a frat boy who doesn’t know what he wants”) but you put on the classy front in public and certainly don’t take that moment to harp on semantics of what exactly he said one night when he was probably drunk many months earlier. Who cares what he said about the other girls – the main point is that he doesn’t want to be with her. As long as she understands that last point, there’s no reason to throw him under the bus over something trivial like this because it not only puts him on the spot, but also insults the girl that she knows he’s engaged to.

Yes, she had a tragic upbringing (a lot of us did), but she should have kept it classy and if she doesn’t understand why calling him out on that was best done behind the scenes in private then she’s missing some critical social smarts.

I think Sean realized he wasn’t going to marry any of them and just tried to make the best of things by having a good time. I’m sure something along these lines was discussed during the Fantasy Suite night with AshLee and it made him realize that she had much more serious expectations than he did, so he decided to pick the more casual giggly girls to take to the final two. The ones that likely won’t go into public meltdowns when the ‘engagement’ gets called off and are probably going into the finale with the same “let’s see what happens” mindset as he is.

I haven’t watched all season and have no idea what happened between them. But from reading Steve’s comments and the comments here, and knowing what we do about how manipulated the show is, I just wonder whether the producers told AshLee to do what she did, knowing the WTA would be pretty dull, to create drama and something for people to talk about. I just can’t take anything on this show at face value anymore.

In regards to AshLee, I think she truly believed that Sean said something to that effect to her. And I also truly believe that Sean didn’t mean it that way & so that’s why he had no idea what the h*ll she was talking about. Think about how emotionally needy & in need of constant reassurance AshLee was in front of the cameras, now imagine how much more so she would be when the cameras are off & she knows the world can’t see how desperate she’s being. I’m sure the FS with AshLee was uncomfortable for Sean if he wasn’t yet sure who he was going to choose & she was pressuring him for reassurance & pressuring him to tell her what she wanted to hear. So, he said vague things to reassure her & ease the uncomfortable situation. She then interpreted those comments as “you are the one & I care nothing about the others” when he may have just said something like “trust me. everything is going to be alright. Just don’t worry about the other girls”. Why does one of them have to be a flat out liar? I don’t think relationships (& life in general) are that black & white. It’s very possible (& more likely) that they simply misunderstood one another.

I agree with Liz, I think AshLee heard Sean say something vague and she interpreted it to mean what she wanted it to mean. Sean looked blindsided by some of her comments, especially when she said he had told her that he didn’t have feelings for the other two women.

You can always tell when someone has some real issues & this show has struck a nerve & opened an old wound. They get real entrenched and emotional about non serious issues of no relevance to any of us, except for our entertainment. So, let’s play Where’s Waldo and try to guess who this applies to in this comment thread.

Remember: The girls didn’t see most of what was shown of the season until we do.

The only ones who know for sure what happened are the players… ABC, and the participants. Keep in mind, though, that huge changes in perspective inherently happen for the participants once the cameras stop rolling and every one is at home watching the playback *after* it’s been edited. In that time, more manipulation by the producers takes place in terms of what makes it to air (and what doesn’t), and the kind of edit each person gets.

Then, this season, everyone is treated to STA where he gets to ‘spin’ what the viewers (including all the girls) have now seen. They’ve watched (the playback) but are contractually muzzled and haven’t spoken to Sean – which, btw has the added benefit (to the franchise) of manufacturing drama that might otherwise have been resolved off camera. So… AshLee was actually holding that in for about three months until WTA.

I would wager ABC has already done some serious damage control where Catherine is concerned following the playback and WTA. She, unlike any of us, has a firsthand perspective on AshLee, and almost certainly has come to her own conclusions about everything that took place between the BAV and the three other women during the overnight dates, though I doubt she cares except how she can leverage her ‘fifteen minutes’ going forward. She and Sean’s ‘engagement’ beyond personal appearances has the shelf-life of sour milk.

Holy invested, people! To each their own, but I’ll never understand how such a train wreck of a show can bring out so much concern and empathy from, what I assume are, normally average people who don’t give a flying fig typically.

**Nashville**
Rerun…. :\

**Survivor**
The Fav’s are on a roll, they are cleaning up. They win the reward challenge as well as the Immunity challenge. The “reward” they win is to get a local “bushman” for a day. He shows them creative ways to cook over an open fire and then he “shores” up their shelter.

This is the episode where Shamar finally gets his ticket home. He apparently rubs/scratches his eye while a piece of sand is in it and it develops an infection. Eddie and Reynold have been sweating out thier apparent limited time left in this situation until they realize that Shamar is taking all the focus off of them. His antics, pouting and demands are keeping them hopeful. But when Jeff arrives with the medics to attend to Shamar, the medics want him to leave, the “boys” have to start sweating again. Shamar takes full advantage of the suggestion but attributes his agreement with leaving to “saving his eyesight”…either way he leaves and the boys are in the hot seat again. After the immunity challenge, Matt takes Micheal aside to suggest that they might do better keeping the “boys” who have the physical strength over Laura who has zero strength. They (the tribe) try to decide what’s more important, physical strength or loyalty. At tribal, their decision is made clear, they vote out Laura but they did flush out Reynolds immunity idol.

Ash: So like, where do i stand among the final 3 girls you have here?
Sean: lets just focus on us, and the time we have together without the cameras and stuff. Dont worry about the other 2, worry about us.
Ash: (thinks to self) YES. he’s going to choose me. he said i dont have to worry about the other 2.

To the emailer who is married to “Jack” and is wondering why she still can’t seem to let go emotionally of “Mike”: Please please take it from me, someone who has kind of been in your shoes: do not act on those unresolved feelings for Mike. My situation was similar, but the only BIG difference is that I wasn’t married and nor were the two guys.I was with someone great too, and had the best relationship and threw it all away for someone from my past who I couldn’t seem to let go of. Worst mistake ever!!In my mind I thought, well if I’m still wondering about the other guy then my current relationship must not be the one for me. However, I realized (when of course it was too late and I had already left my boyfriend) that the only reason I was still emotionally drawn to the other guy (Mike in your case) is because you tend to put people on a pedestal in your mind and the chemistry you had with him was so strong that in your mind the longer you don’t see him the stronger the chemistry seems in your head. You are pregnant and expecting a child with Jack, say you would give in to those unresolved feelings and either have an affair or divorce Jack and go back to Mike, and realize it is not what you wanted after all, you now have a child involved as well.Trust me, you are only hyping Mike up in your mind now, because he now has someone else and so do you, and you wonder what if..? Think about it rationally, you said Mike differs from you when it comes to some KEY things such as religion and politics. Both are huge, plus he wasn’t faithful to his wife so what makes you think he’d be faithful to you in the long run? Also, when he had the chance to be with you he chose not to…that’s got to tell you something about his follow-thru. Do not throw away your current great marriage with a man who hasn’t done you wrong in any way and who did choose you and never doubted himself. Plus you have a child on the way. You are truly blessed that you dodged the bullet with Mike and are now blessed to have a child with the greatest guy.If you walk away from that, you will come to regret it and possibly never get over it. Stop all contact, it is not fair to your husband and leave Mike where he belongs…in the past!!

I’m totally never going to like the lead of this show. I watch it, but I never care because i don’t like the lead. Emily was one of the only times I liked the lead, and I ended up hating her superficial self. Ashley I didn’t like going in, but then I adored her after. Same with Jillian. Sean is every bit as boring as I thought he’d be, and Desiree’s tiny teeth will inevitably freak me out all next season.

dutchgirl: Thank you for your kind reply. I am the person who wrote that letter, and I agree completely with what you said. I cut off all contact 10 days ago, and every day is getting easier. My husband deserves better, and frankly, so do I. I greatly appreciate your response.

enndea: so glad you read my response and even more glad to read that you cut off all contact with Mike 10 days ago. Good call!! Our minds can play tricks on us sometimes and the wondering of what could have been can be very confusing. I’m sure you’ll have moments where it may still creep back in your mind. Every relationship has moments when you go through times where it isn’t all roses. Times like that you may start to wonder again. Just realize that if you would have gone with Mike, you’d have those exact same times where it isn’t all perfect either. Your relationship with Jack sounds way more stable and you were smart to choose him in the first place in 2010. My situation happened over a decade ago, actually it’s been almost 2 decades when I was very young and not as wise so I have been very much over it for a long time now. However, that is not to say that if I could do it all over, I wouldn’t have made a very different decision and so I felt compelled to comment on your email. Keep that contact with Mike cut off for good. He isn’t worth emotionally or mentally cheating on Jack for. Your intuition was right all along to choose Jack. Count your blessings!!