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People who struggle with their self-esteem are often advised to seek out people who are successful, confident and have high self-esteem. Of course it’s not as simple to just watch someone who is outwardly comfortable and hope that will rub off and improve your own self-esteem. It won’t. If you’re going to improve your self-esteem you need to be committed to making some changes and also putting in some practice. However, it is useful to spend some time with people you know with high self-esteem and observe some of the specific characteristic that are common with people who are confident and ‘comfortable in their own skin’. Listed below are 7 common traits.

1. Belief in themselves: People who have high self-esteem have confidence in their own abilities. This isn’t a case of false self-confidence. They recognise what they’re good at, are confident that they are able to improve where necessary and unlike people with low self-esteem, believe that they deserve to do better. The effect of this is that they are often ambitious in their chosen field and do well in their careers as they consistently strive for improvement and personal success. They don’t waste time indulging in negative self-talk.

2. Know what they want or need: People with high self-esteem generally have clear ideas about what they want or need and are able to communicate these needs and wants to others.

3. Effective communication skills: It’s common for people with high self-esteem to be good communicators. This includes having good listening skills which leave them open to taking advice, being open to change and new ideas.

4. Drive to succeed: Not surprisingly people with high self-esteem have the drive to succeed. Some people with low self-esteem have similar drive, but the difference is that people with high self-esteem are generally more flexible and find it easier to overcome challenges and disappointments along the way. They don’t worry about failure and even when they do fail, they have the inner resources to learn from the failure and then move on.

5. Comfortable with change: Because people with high self-esteem are comfortable with change, they enthusiastically seek out new opportunities and are open to embracing new ideas. They are also happy to learn new skills to support them with any new challenges.

6. Enjoy healthy relationships: With their good communication skills and their enthusiasm to succeed, people with high self-esteem generally enjoy good healthy relationships and are able to accept constructive criticism, without letting it dent their confidence. Because of their confidence they are rarely competitive with others because they are comfortable with their own abilities

7. Goal-orientated: The almost inbred confidence that someone with high self-esteem has, means that they are very focussed on self-improvement and success and are often good at planning and setting goals in a methodical way, as well as achieving them.

If you have low self-esteem it’s easy to envy those people who exude confidence and have high self-esteem. Probably the best thing that you can learn from people who have high self-esteem is that they are comfortable with change and are prepared to have a go. That may sound overly simplistic but if you’re struggling with low self-esteem it’s only you who can make the commitment to change, reduce the negative and take a risk.

Ahh I see what you saying. Naturally is a bad choice of words because things don't just happen with you putting forth some type of input. Those who believe in themselves will be much more likely to find success when they go out and try to develop the other 6 characteristics. So yeah you're right - it definitely wont come naturally, but it will probably will serve you well when trying to develop those other 6.

Ahh I see what you saying. Naturally is a bad choice of words because things don't just happen with you putting forth some type of input. Those who believe in themselves will be much more likely to find success when they go out and try to develop the other 6 characteristics. So yeah you're right - it definitely wont come naturally, but it will probably will serve you well when trying to develop those other 6.

Hi Jerry
Thanks for taking the time to comment. Glad you enjoyed it.
I'm not sure I quite agree that if you have self belief the others "will come naturally". I've met many people who have self belief but are not good communicators and it's something they've had to work at. I've also met people who have self belief but aren't that comfortable with change - because they're used to operating very successfully within their own context. But I agree with you self belief is the best place to start in order to improve self esteem.

Hi Jerry
Thanks for taking the time to comment. Glad you enjoyed it.
I'm not sure I quite agree that if you have self belief the others "will come naturally". I've met many people who have self belief but are not good communicators and it's something they've had to work at. I've also met people who have self belief but aren't that comfortable with change - because they're used to operating very successfully within their own context. But I agree with you self belief is the best place to start in order to improve self esteem.

Very good article! One thing I'd like to point out is that your first point - belief in yourself - is the basis for all of the other 6 characteristics. Once you believe in yourself, the other 6 characteristics will come naturally - its like they are byproducts of a belief in yourself. For that reason that would definitely be the best place to start for anyone who trying to improve their self esteem.
But yeah, I had self esteem issues in middle school and through early high school so I'm pretty familiar with what it takes to improve it. That being said, this was spot on. Nice work!

Very good article! One thing I'd like to point out is that your first point - belief in yourself - is the basis for all of the other 6 characteristics. Once you believe in yourself, the other 6 characteristics will come naturally - its like they are byproducts of a belief in yourself. For that reason that would definitely be the best place to start for anyone who trying to improve their self esteem.
But yeah, I had self esteem issues in middle school and through early high school so I'm pretty familiar with what it takes to improve it. That being said, this was spot on. Nice work!

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