Ursula pairs with the Seminoles quite nicely following last week's Jameis Winston crabpocalypse. Florida State stepped all over the poor, unfortunate souls in its path to last season's BCS title game. The 'Noles captured their trident in the form of a crystal football. Yet while Florida State is back, it has to make sure it harnesses its power and keeps the voices at bay. Otherwise, Jimbo Fisher, Winston and company could risk getting too comfortable.

It was incredibly tempting to go with Captain Hook here, given all the possible clock-management jokes. But the Evil Queen suits Alabama better. The Crimson Tide want to be the fairest of them all, but they can't get caught staring in the mirror and dwelling on season-ending losses to Auburn and Oklahoma. Nick Saban went out and got a new Huntsman in offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin. Plus, that apple looks pretty dang crimson to me.

Well, yeah, he's a tiger. There's more to this comparison than that. What is Shere Khan afraid of? Fire. A team with a mascot wielding a flaming spear took down the Tigers in last season's BCS championship game. Auburn is intimidating, fast and features a hypnotic offense. Khan's most famous line was, "No matter how fast you run, no matter where you hide, I will catch you." As catchy as HUNH is, I'm thinking Gus Malzahn could repurpose that mantra pretty nicely.

Before becoming Syndrome, the brilliant scientist Buddy designed weapons. His greatest one was a big, old robot that simply pummeled other superheroes. So, even though Syndrome did not possess any special powers, he used intelligence to become a supervillain. Stanford has gradually morphed into a West Coast powerhouse, and David Shaw's Cardinal demand respect. Coming off four BCS bowl berths, those nerds are dangerous.

Scar toppled a king much like Oklahoma upended football royalty in the Sugar Bowl. The irony of Mufasa dropping to the bottom of a cliff probably wouldn't be lost on Bob Stoops, who would make a perfect Scar. Stoops has a dry sense of humor and isn't afraid to deliver a few quips. The Sooners are prone to lulling foes into a false sense of security, but don't be fooled. Led by quarterback Trevor Knight and fearsome linebacker Eric Striker, this team is dangerous on both sides of the ball.

Michigan State had a psychopathic defense in 2013, and the Spartans wreaked havoc against their opponents' shiny toy offenses. The departure of Darqueze Dennard, Max Bullough and Denicos Allen might temper Michigan State's ferocity, but most of Sparty's offensive standouts are back. Also, blowing stuff up makes Sid feel some type of way.

Jafar is a trusted advisor who has a limited amount of power in the kingdom, but that's not enough. He searches for the magic lamp in the Cave of Wonders. The Bruins have found their genie -- whose color isn't far off from UCLA blue -- in redshirt junior quarterback Brett Hundley. Hundley is giving Jim Mora and staff a third season, so they better use it wisely or risk being buried beneath the strength of an extremely deep and talented Pac-12.

Much like dual-threat quarterback Braxton Miller and the Buckeyes' potent offense, Cruella operates at breakneck speed. Ohio State is ruthless and goal-oriented, although its defense can sometimes be as unpredictable as its offense is reliable. At the conclusion of One Hundred and One Dalmatians, Cruella's plan is foiled. I'm sure she would've gladly eaten Papa John's pizza had some been made available to her.

Beautiful, sleek and always exuding the color green, Maleficent seems all-powerful. There is little doubt she would look terrific in Oregon's uniforms, and much like the Ducks' high-powered offense, she can beat foes in a variety of ways. Between quarterback Marcus Mariota and running backs Byron Marshall and Thomas Tyner, Oregon goes through stretches where it simply appears unbeatable. Still, as Stanford has recently proven, the Ducks have weaknesses. And Mark Helfrich's squad lost one of its key weapons this spring when leading returning receiver Bralon Addison went down with a torn ACL.

The Queen loves croquet. Croquet is played on grass, and Les Miles eats grass. More fitting, though, the Queen has plenty of cards at her disposal, and the Tigers have an enviable supply of top-tier recruits, including quarterback Brandon Harris, running back Leonard Fournette and wide receiver Malachi Dupre. It always feels like things are a little left of center in Baton Rouge -- defensive linemen riding stolen bikes and all -- and rules and reality are often bent in Wonderland.

The leader of a powerful army, Shan Yu marches over everything in his path. That's also the mindset for tailback Melvin Gordon and a Wisconsin offense that averaged 283.8 rushing yards per game in 2013. A guy who survived in an avalanche, Yu wouldn't mind the cold winters in Madison, either.

How could it be anyone other than the villain from The Hunchback of Notre Dame? Frollo is deeply committed to his line of thinking, but he's not above wanting what others (namely, Florida State and Alabama) have. The Fighting Irish might be overlooked at the end of spring practice, but with a toothy defense and the return of quarterback Everett Golson, they're dangerous all the same.

If there's a Disney representation of the Bears' explosive offense, it's Chernabog. Perched at the top of a mountain, Art Briles can watch as his minions fly around, trusting they'll be in the right place at the proper time. There's an outright beauty to Baylor's offense when executed perfectly -- it appears more frightening than it actually is. Alas, the Bears must play better defense. In their two losses last season, they surrendered an average of 50.5 points.

The Wicked Stepmother can't handle the thought of anyone being as beautiful as her progeny. The talent-rich Trojans are focused on rejoining college football's elite. The hope in Los Angeles is that first-year coach Steve Sarkisian can bring the Trojans back to glory after the program's recent downturn under Kiffin.

Clad in a red dress with red hair, Medusa can give off the impression that she has everything figured out. Yet, ultimately, she's prone to losing control. That's a common joke surrounding coach Mark Richt and offensive coordinator Mike Bobo, but the Bulldogs need to keep things together to compete in the SEC East. After all, the Dawgs lost four-year starting quarterback Aaron Murray to graduation.

"He's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness. I mean, for what? Pandora, it was the box thing. For the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay?" -- Hades

Slap a visor on him and hand him a microphone, and Hades would be hatin' almost as much as Steve Spurrier does. Hades uses intellect to maximize his situation even though he's in the underworld. He may have things taken away, just as the Gamecocks lose Jadeveon Clowney and Connor Shaw. Still, South Carolina should be a thorn in foes' sides throughout 2014.

One could say Professor Ratigan invented Clemsoning before Clemson did, although I've yet to hear anyone say that, and nobody likely ever will. Clemson has plenty of roster issues to address, as Tajh Boyd, Sammy Watkins and Martavis Bryant are off to the NFL. It will take a dastardly plan for Dabo Swinney and the Tigers to keep pace in the ACC.

While Balthazar is obsessed with getting the cats' inheritance, the Rebels are obsessed with landing five-star recruits. Hugh Freeze and his staff have landed a stable of blue-chip prospects over the last few years, and now it's time to make a run. Patience will be critical, but Ole Miss has the talent to contend in the SEC West. It's up to Bo Wallace, Robert Nkemdiche and company to capitalize.

Mim can take the shape of any animal, just as quarterback Taylor Kelly and Arizona State's offense have the ability to use multiple formations and score from all over the field. The Sun Devils run a lot of plays, but their defense must improve and stay healthy if Todd Graham's team is going to get over the hump.

Once a great adventurer, Muntz explored new terrain and was all but forgotten. Missouri was initially overlooked after moving to the SEC before the 2012 campagin, but it reached last year's conference title game behind Kony Ealy, Michael Sam, Henry Josey and James Franklin. Some of the the program's stars left this spring (either to the draft or, in the case of Dorial Green-Beckham, via dismissal). Still, the idea of Gary Pinkel traveling around in a zeppelin wearing a brown coat and tan pants remains captivating.

Stomboli tried to keep Pinocchio for as long as he could, but Pinocchio had to go out and have his own adventures. The fate of Stromboli after Pinocchio left was never known. What will Texas A&M's fate be now that Johnny Manziel is off to the NFL? Does the Swagcopter have enough fuel to keep the Aggies relevant without Manziel and Mike Evans?

Although he'll puff out his chest, Ratcliffe has a bit of an inferiority complex. For North Carolina to be taken seriously as a contender, the Tar Heels need to prove they're capable of replicating last season's second-half success, when they won six of their final seven games. Losing Eric Ebron and offensive coordinator Blake Anderson (now the head coach at Arkansas State) hurts, but new coordinator Seth Littrell seems a capable replacement.

Watching others get the glory while The Prospector sits on the shelf drives him mad. Oklahoma State plays at a consistently high level, but the Cowboys don't get the buzz of several of their rivals. They'll have to find the answer at quarterback, but if the defense keeps playing well, Mike Gundy and company could be a Big 12 player once again.

Randall doesn't look like a monster that would elicit big scares, but he packs plenty into his slinky disposition. On the surface, it's easy to ignore Marshall, but quarterback Rakeem Cato and crew pose a legitimate threat. Plus, the Thundering Herd's schedule is a few levels beyond manageable.