When I wanna give up – I breathe.

I hate to admit it, but I tend to be a “runner.” It’s my years of self-preservation, I suppose. When the emotion of everything becomes too much, I bail. Just go.

I wanna be in a place where no one knows me. No one sees me. And no one really cares.

The problem with that is – I can never outrun God.

I can never go where He isn’t. Where He can’t see me. Find me. Know me.

And, honestly – and we are being honest here – I don’t want to go to that place. That place, the one without God, I’ve been there. Lived there. Barely lived there.

In this place, the one where God lives with me, I can’t run. Partly because there is nowhere to run to and partly because He just doesn’t want me to. He’s teaching me how to stay put. He’s teaching me how to wait in the dark. He’s teaching me that in the waiting there is goodness.

Here’s the thing… I don’t know what I’m waiting for! It’s frustrating! I can’t see the plan. The outline. The drawing board that is so carefully designed just.for.me. I can’t see it. How do I move if I don’t know where I’m going? How do I stay if I don’t know what I’m staying for? UGH! Can you feel me?! Remember, we’re being honest here. I know you can feel me!

So, here’s the *real* thing… in God’s book… the Love Book… His very personal book of love to me, to you… He tells us – over and over and over again…