Here at the LJKGW corporate multiplex, we are gearing up for the insanely exciting festivities that the party planning committee has come up with to mark the forthcoming release ofThe CHICKtionary(known around the water cooler as "my book").

I hope you'll join us for these fun and decidedly non-educational activities, if only for the free crullers and deeply discounted massage-chair rates.

I'm in countdown mode, too! And not just for the ginormous cruller. Though, it does look a good bit more delicious than the organic "super yogurt" I am presently shoveling in for breakfast. (I'm pretty sure the only "super" power my yogurt has is the way it can render me able to feel smug about how I'm eating *yogurt* and not, y'know, doughnuts or bacon or something that actually tastes good for breakfast.)

My father, who was a big CB enthusiast back in the 70s and 80s, gave me, his oldest daughter, a CB radio when I left for college in 1989. Oh yes, I was the Queen of Cool driving my 1979 Oldsmobile Delta 88 (navy blue with white velour interior, thankyouverymuch) with my CB hooked up. My CB handle was Bo Peep, both because I grew up on a sheep farm and I was a great Dukes of Hazzard enthusiast.

I am amazed to this day that I was never asked to join a sorority.....

Hi Anna! Long time, etc etc, all the usual excuses. I LOVED your standup! The scary part is I can RELATE to your standup....and I join the countdown to your book. I am ordering the Kindle version, just as soon as my super-nerd husband can show me how...duh..:)

Holy crap! That was hilarious. If only I could manage stand up. But, I'd have to drink so much to get up enough nerve to do it that no one would understand me. A friend just turned 60 and got a tattoo. This would be the antithesis of edgy.Can't wait for the book to come out.

Back in the 70s, my family owned & I operated a convenience store that drew in truckers who became regulars. My favorite thing was to screw with their handles. That big tough guy named Flyrod became Fishingpole.

If I knew you then, I'd definitely have not called you TartnTiny. You'd have been Jailbait to me.

My vast trove of comedy stylings is limited to "Why did the chicken cross the road?", "A piece of string walks into a bar", and "Knock! Knock!". Glad to see that some of us have a better grasp of the funny!

Order The CHICKtionary HERE...and make a unicorn smile

Also known as my Lady Lair...

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Anna Lefler is an award-winning writer and humorist and the author of THE CHICKTIONARY: FROM A-LINE TO Z-SNAP, THE WORDS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW (Adams Media, November 2011). Her work has appeared online at Salon.com, McSweeney's, TheBigJewel, MyPheme, FunnyNotSlutty and HumorPress. Anna's essays on modern motherhood have been nationally syndicated and her fiction has been presented onstage by WordTheatre Los Angeles. She has performed standup comedy in Los Angeles clubs including the Hollywood Improv, the Comedy Store, Room 5 Lounge and M Bar. Anna can also be found at www.annalefler.com, where she is trying to stop referring to herself in third person.