Minor Disturbances Wake Bar District

The normal Sunday night silence was disturbed this week by what seems to have been a car chase that caused a downed power line and a shower of sparks. Several eyewitnesses on the scene reported that there was some sort of automaton, or possibly an abnormally large man in a silver suit, participating in the chase.

The careful observer will note that this incident happened near the bar district, which calls into question some of the eyewitness accounts. Nevertheless, it is the Sentinel’s understanding that the police are investigating and we will dutifully report their findings.

— The Serendipity Sentinel

Mechanical Menace Terrorizes Townsfolk

By Reese Falcone, Reporter at Large

Last Sunday, the standard evening peace was disrupted by some sort of automaton chasing people in a vehicle — or rather, on a vehicle. Eyewitnesses reported that the chase victim was, in fact, a motorcycle, with someone hanging off the back end, throwing lightning bolts from their hands. Miraculously, no bystanders were injured.

Most of the eyewitness accounts placed the chase as going down Stuttgart Avenue, adjacent to the bar district, around 9 or 10 PM. After traversing approximately one mile down Stuttgart, the motorcycle took several sharp turns and lost the automaton, which vacated the scene at speed, returning in the direction it came from.

Police investigation was lax, not arriving on the scene until several hours later. This fact won’t shock regular readers of the Report, who are aware of our city’s priorities (and what neighborhoods tend to be at the top of said priorities).

In addition to the late investigation, we have it on good authority that the mainstream newspapers of Serendipity City are planning on brushing this under the rug, calling in to doubt the eyewitness accounts. We have no such plans at the Report and are taking this threat seriously, looking into it and its possible supernatural source.

Who created this monstrosity — and why? Is it driven by a person inside it or operating on its own free will? Are there more of them? What nefarious purposes will they inevitably be used for? Rest assured, we at the Citizen’s Report, the only newspaper willing to bring you the truth, will continue to investigate and report our findings.