I really thought that as of 2 or 3 years ago, the Older Daughter no longer cared about my opinion nor was at all influenced by me. It really seemed that she was in her own teen world and had it all figured out–at least in her opinion. Well, I found out this week that I actually do still have some influence.

Her high school held a mock election on Tuesday. I asked her who she voted for and she told me. When I asked how she came to the decision, she said that she really didn’t know who to vote for. But she knew who I was voting for, so that’s who she chose. Now of course that’s not the right way to pick a president, but it made me smile that she thought enough of my judgement to make the same choice.

Then last night we were at Wal-Mart picking up a few things. Homemade dinner was not in the cards, so we we picked up some stuff at the deli. The Older Daughter and I both chose the turkey sandwich and threw them in the basket. Then I noticed her checking the shelf again. Pretty soon, she grabbed this huge turkey sandwich and put the smaller ones back. It seems that she noticed that the huge sandwich was roughly equivalent to 3 of the smaller sandwiches but was cheaper than the 2 we were going to buy. When I complimented her for noticing, she said “I learned it from you.” More smiling on my part.

Just when you think you have lost them, they go and show you they are still watching and learning from you after all.

As a kid, I loved going fishing with my dad. However, it was about 25 years ago, as a teenager, that I grew bored with fishing and stopped going with my him. My guess is that it probably broke his heart to lose that special time.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when we were discussing our upcoming camping trip with the Younger Daughter. She informed us that she would like to learn how to fish. I have actually been wanting to take the girls fishing for a number of years, but things just never fell into place. I decided that this time, nothing was going to stand in the way of making it happen.

Last weekend, we went down to the local sporting goods store. I was a deer in the headlights looking at the overwhelming variety of gear available. Thankfully, a friendly and helpful lady helped us to pick out the appropriate pole, hooks, sinkers, bobbers, and bait that we would need to catch some tasty trout. Just a smidge over $100 later, we were out of there.

Now it seems that she was simply too excited to wait a week for the camping trip to commence and wanted to give it a whirl yesterday evening. Not wanting to disappoint, I relented. Given my typical bad luck, I was sure that I would fall in the water, end up hopelessly tangled up in fishing line, have fishing hooks stuck in my face, and get arrested for catching some obscure fish that is on the endangered species list.

Thankfully, things were not even close to being that bad. Yes, some things went wrong. We did have some minor tangling of line here and there. Oh, and I managed to drop the pliars through the slats of the dock…never to be seen again. But it was an amazingly relaxing and peaceful time together. It was quiet except for the birds and the sounds of fish jumping.

So, after 25 years, I again have the patience to enjoy sitting in a chair, lazily waiting for a fish to bite. Whether one actually bites or not doesn’t really matter. It’s amazing sitting with my daugher and enjoying some very special together time in a peacful setting. I realize that in all likelyhood, she’ll one day find this to be boring and move on. But I’m going to enjoy every moment until then.

The Older Daughter was washing her comforter this evening, but it didn’t get dry before bedtime. She headed to bed, but asked me bring it in after it was dry, throw it over her, and tuck her in. I smiled. I was more than happy to oblige. This is something that I haven’t had the privilege of doing for a lot of years.

If you have followed me for awhile, you know that I sometimes miss having younger kids and some of the mundane rituals that went along with it. Just a few minutes ago, I took the nice, warm comforter out of the dryer, put it gently over her, and tucked it in around her. Then I gave her a kiss on the forehead and whispered “I love you” into her ear. It was priceless and made my day.

I received a call from the Older Daughter today, but was at work and could not take the call immediately. When I called her back, she answered with “Nevermind, I found what I needed on Google.”

You may remember in a previous post that I was lamenting being reduced to a taxi driver and banker. But now, I guess I’m a search engine also. Initially I was bothered that she didn’t want to take the time to go search on the computer. But maybe I should be flattered to be her search engine of choice–at least in this one instance. 🙂

Thanks to John for this one. These things are always of questionable accuracy, but this one seems to have hit the nail on the head for me. I’m not really interested in being “cool”. I’m interested in being a good father. Don’t get me wrong, I’m goofy and have lots of fun with the kids. But in the end, you do need to have reasonable rules and structure.

You Will Not Be a Cool Parent

And that’s pretty okay. While your kids may not think of you as a friend, they will respect you.You know that kids need discipline and structure, and you’re not afraid to give it to them.Just be careful that your strictness doesn’t lead to rebellion.

It’s good to have standards and rules, but you don’t need to have an iron fist when enforcing them.

Okay, so the Younger Daughter was washing the dog last night in the bathtub. In the middle of the bath, she came out carrying the dog and heading for the kitchen. When I asked what she was doing, she informed me that the hot water had run out in the bathroom, so she was moving to the kitchen sink. Should I be worried about the lack of common sense? Then again, maybe you don’t know until you think it through that each faucet does not have its own hot water supply.

As the years wear on, she is often less and less interested in these roles. However, there are two roles that remain for me: Taxi Driver and Banker. Sometimes I feel like I spend my life in the car shuttling the kids all over creation. And of course, there’s nothing more expensive than raising kids. I will see the Taxi Driver role start to fade as the Older Daughter starts driving next year. It’s bittersweet. I want her to grow up and be independent, but dads like being useful.