Musings on the Mainland: an insider perspective on society, culture, the queer experience & race relations in the United States (Y la poesía en mi cabeza!)

2012-12-09

Microaggressions at the Grocery Store

Hello World, Happy Chanukkah! Although it
is a fun time, it’s always this time of year that I’ve got to have the
inevitable awkward conversations with clients, colleagues and total strangers
that I don’t in fact celebrate Christmas but that I celebrate the festival of
lights, Chanukkah. I don’t usually find this notable and I just file it away in
my cognitive box of unimportance. Last Friday however, I felt the need to write
about my experience at the grocery.

Last Friday was the day before Chanukkah
and of course I was running late on everything due to exams and commuting back
and forth from the city. I rushed over to Safeway in the evening in an attempt
to procure some candles for my hanukkiya.
I couldn’t find the kosher section, which was unusual; normally it is in the
pan-ethnic section of Safeway. I managed to catch the attention of an employee
in the produce aisle.

He didn’t know where the kosher section
was, and took me over to another employee in the meat section who “knew where
everything was”. This gentleman then took us to the kosher section which had
inexplicably moved to the soup and beans aisle (!!!), all the while talking
about how all the kosher food had to have it’s own shelf and be separated from
other food (as I understand it this is not a requirement of Kashrut in
non-Jewish grocery stores, it can sit on the shelf next to other items so I
didn’t like the implications).He
kept states this to his co-worker and me multiple times and how interesting he
thought it was. I was starting to get uncomfortable and pressured for some
reason. The section didn’t have what I was looking for and the employee voiced
how he couldn’t remember where the Chanukkah items were. He then wished me a happy
Chanukkah and they both went back to their departments.

I gave up and looked around the store a few
minutes longer trying to find a spot featuring some Chanukkah stuff: gelt, candles, kitschy wrapping paper
even. Yet there was nothing! There was an entire AISLE dedicated to Christmas
items yet not a single magen david or
chocolate coin to be found for me and the other yehudit. I admit I was frustrated at that point and still a little
perturbed by my previous interaction. I left.

Upon later reflection I realized I felt
unsafe identifying myself as Jewish to two strangers in a public space,
especially after one of the men having shown a weird aggressiveness in his
description of the kosher section. I think I was probably the only Jewish
person either of them had ever met and the implications of the meat department
worker’s speech still make me uneasy.

I’m going to look past this incident and
continue to celebrate Chanukkah.