I would rather be hated for who I am.. than be loved for What I am NOT!!

thank you

I guess we all agree, our mind governs our feelings, thoughts and actions. What we think is reflected in what we feel/ do. To have a strong mind also means to have control the choices you make (wrt. feelings, thoughts and actions). I am sure many of us have faced situations where what you feel is different from what you express externally. You may be sad on the inside but you express happiness, content and bliss on the outside. Isnt that a constant battle we all face in our day to day life. Yesterday I mentioned about how I chose to be happy, today I reflect upon how I chose something exactly opposite of how I was actually feeling. Was it easy? No! It took almost super human efforts to not dwell on the so many things that are not going right (right now) and to think of times when I was happy so that I can be happy now. It is a battle I am currently fighting not because I have to but more so because I want to. I want to be happy, I want to be carefree and relaxed, I want to have a clear mind where nothing troubles me, I want (what common people mostly refer to as) detachment, I want to be Free!!! I choose not to dwell on the negativity and despair although thats what surrounds me a lot! I choose not to succumb to the gnawing thoughts that want to conquer my mind and spread darkness! I choose not to feel restless, frustrated, angry or vulnerable – I want to be strong, stubborn and happy! I choose to veer my mind away from turbulence into a sea of stillness and calmness. I choose my mind over matters. I choose positivity, happiness, good vibes and peace. Today I would like to thank the Universe for bestowing me with the power to control my mind and also a strong willpower to withstand any and all obstacles in the way of attaining inner peace (big words I know!). Today Dear Universe, I thank you for this beautiful mind that has in all moments of past, present and future – displayed the ability to control how I want my mind to think, act and feel. Thank you for this wonderful mind that can also be easily distracted and adapt to my thoughts! Thank you for this brilliant mind that has the ability to feel happiness and sadness at the same time. Thank you for the blissfulness that overcomes when I decide what I choose to feel today, the tranquility that washes over me when I am in charge of my wondrous mind. Thank you Thank you Thank you!

“Happiness does not depend on what you have or who are are, it solely relies on what you think”

Day 8

The above statement is so true! I generally come across as a very happy person, sometimes even when am not happy with the state of things around me but am surrounded by people I usually smile and pretend to be happy, the consequence of which is that I end up feeling much happier than I was initially. I used to always feel that its basically because I am around happy people but later upon a deeper introspection I realized I govern my own happiness, it is me who decides whether I want to be/stay happy! Happiness is nothing but a state of the mind – if you want to be happy and tranquil/calm even during periods of trials you have pretty much mastered control of mind. So today, I want to take this moment to thank the Universe for giving me the power to be happy, to attract happiness and always find (even the minutest) reasons to be happy! I have had my own share of depression and grief, but today I want to forget them, any memory if there is (of grief) I want to remember them as just stories or movies /episodes that happened and want to remember all the happy thoughts and revel in them. The moments I spend with my parents talking, discussing or just teasing each other. The fun times I have with my friends laughing, giggling, teasing, even simple pleasures such as watching movies together (& commenting too), shopping, having dinner or even lazying around the house. The more exhilarating yet tranquil experiences of visiting travelling, exploring new places and experiencing new food and even feeling a sense of deep spiritual bliss when staring at the vastness and/or the breathtaking beauty nature. The rush of adrenaline felt when experiencing my deepest fears – be it drowning in water while I try to learn swimming or white river rafting, trying to conquer my fear of height while I do bungee jumping and the euphoria of realizing “its over!”, I have just about faced what I feared most. I want to recollect all those moments when I have smiled (like right now while penning the post), laughed out loud (whole heartedly) , giggled silently (or muffledly when I have just set a trap/played a prank on someone), or even smirked with a wry smile (esp. when I prove my idea/thought right in front of others) and thank the universe for such lovely moments. I have just had the realization that I am indeed blessed cos while I pen this post I have had the most amazing recollection of all the happy moments so far in my life!! I feel happy, I feel blessed I am a special child of this Universe!! Thank you my Dear Universe for giving me such wonderful moments of Happiness and many many more to come!! Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!!

Isnt that phrase so true? When you enjoy whatever you do it doesnt seem tedious anymore. I have heard so many stories of so many people who are stressed with their work, majorly cos it is “work”! Do Artists get stressed while painting/sketching or creating whatever it is that they excel in? Do writers get stressed when they’re writing, be it poems or stories or anything for that matter? They may – if they have deadlines to meet, if their muse is lost but they’ve set a date and committed to their next piece! But if you leave them at it, they’re one of the happiest people on earth! why? because they love whatever they do! So do I!! I have of course cribbed about Mondays and work but more often than not its not the work per se that has stressed me its probably the deadlines and the people I’m working with. I love my job, I really do! I am one of those fortunate people who came to loving what they do by accident and not as a choice! Did I know I was going to be a business analyst when I was studying school or college – No!! Not one bit, I am sure people have dreams of becoming so n so – I did too, I wanted to be a dancer and then an actress and some where down the line, life brought me into IT as a Business Analyst! And I am really fortunate for that because I love my role! It happened to me – initially I struggled ofcourse I did not do my MBA which many people still look down upon when they hire me, but I have always had my principles straight – Do your work and let the work speak for you! Which is what I do (even today), I struggle, I learn, I made real huge mistakes too, even embarassed myself but I feel accomplished! I still have a lot more to learn and maybe I do a (what others call) decent job, but what matters to me is that I am passionate about what I do. I can talk at length about my projects and my experiences in dealing with varied clients and management and when I do people often feel I am a strong candidate – why? Simple, because I just love what I do. I consider myself blessed because I work with a lot of wonderful people, i have had my share of difficult to work people but I am very fortunate to always have a strong support system (bosses, team members, professional/personal connections) who have always helped me across the sea of struggle. I have been blessed with wonderful mentors and I learn a lot from my peers, seniors and anyone I meet in my career life. So today I take this opportunity to thank the Universe for a wonderful and bright career! My dear Universe, you have indeed blessed me with an awesome role, you always ensure I become passionate about it and continue to grow in my field. Thank you Dear Universe for taking care of me when I struggle, appreciating me when I excel and let me savor the job (I just happened to come by to but) that you choose for me personally!! Thank you for this glorious career and wonderful professional experiences, my Universe! Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!

There is an old song in Hindi (which was even remixed) that went –
“Na Biwi Na Baccha Na Baap Bada Na Maiiyaa, The whole thing is that ke bhaiyya Sabse Bada Rupaiyya”

Loosely translated it means (well in a nutshell) – Neither spouse, nor kids, nor parents matter, but Money matters the most and even makes the world dance to its tunes!!

Yes Day 6

Money! I do not advocate the above song nor the lines (although the remixed tune is pretty catchy) but yes sometimes it does make me think – money makes the world. People are money/power hungry and even when they have lots they just want some more. And then there are those, who hardly have any to even buy them a single decent meal. I for one am one of those few fortunate beings who have always managed to have enough! I was raised in a middle class family, my father worked a couple of jobs to keep us decent, my mom was the typical conservative Indian home maker – saving for the family and supporting dad in all the ways she could. If you recall my second gratitude post you’d remember I said I was a very difficult unruly rebellious wild child and to put up with me and at the same time ensuring they saved and gave me a good life (I know now) would have been difficult. But somehow I never had to worry about having money or the lack of it. I have grown up understanding the value of money, thereby saving as much as I could and at the same time ensured I was enjoying my good life and not just worrying about making and saving money. Today am married and kinda sorta a home maker (for now) but my partner has ensured that Money is never an issue for us. We save some we spend some and yes, we even help others with some. So today I would like to thank the Universe for always blessing with abundance (or subsistence) of money! I for one, have been one of those fortunate people who dont have worry about having money to live my life comfortably. Infact, the Universe has been extra generous to sometimes let me enjoy even the luxuries of life and let me experience Mother Nature in a commercial form travel & tourism! I take this opportunity today, to thank my Dear Universe for always blessing me with abundance of money, for always ensuring I have enough no matter what day of the month it is and whether or not I earn my own living. Thank you Dear Universe for blessing me as your special child and bestowing me with the riches of life!! Thank you Thank you Thank you!

It is overwhelming for me to note that even though I am not propagating my blog on any social media sites, there are people out there liking my gratitude posts. Which to me reiterates my point yesterday – the Universe is showering me with love and blessings already.

Day 5

Today I had a dentist appointment, and trust me nothing is more scary than sitting on that low chair, with your mouth open and having all pointy items being poked into your teeth and gums!! Although this being my 3rd regular cleaning appointment with him, I have now come to accept how those pointy things work and sometimes even ask the lady (whose face is almost inside my mouth) – “what is that for?”; I still feel pretty darned scared on every visit. Which is also the case that happens when I have my eye examination (hides face). The only place that does not scare me wrt. medical is a Gynec appointment and a general examination. I am often pretty cool with them. And with that long digressing recollection of my experiences (fear experience more like it) I’m sure you know where I am going with this. Yes, Health! I am not a health addict, I am not someone who is even moderately interested in being healthy (at least my actions speaketh that), it’s just that I haven’t paid much attention to being healthy or stay healthy and strong. I am probably just blessed with a decent knowledge and aptitude to sometimes make the right choices (kindly note – not always!) But as I was returning from my appointment I realized, I am healthy – in a very vague generalized way – yes I am. And I am fortunate (than many) to be able to use the medical insurance and avail of so many services (I have someone dedicated for my teeth, my eyes, my lady parts and even general well being), of course I am fortunate and blessed. So today, I would like to thank the Universe for my health and well being. I can walk, I can manage to jog/run, I can dance, I can bowl, I can play, I breathe well, my internal organs work fine like a well oiled machine! What more can one ask for? (well I would have preferred if I even had a great bod like a model *sighs*, but hey that’s a choice I probably made – being lazy!) So my Dear Universe, Thank you for this wonderful body that enables me to perform all my daily activities (voluntary or involuntary) and good health. I thank all my doctors too, for doing their job and keeping me well! Thank you!!

Its maybe too early, but I think the Universe is already showering some love on me, I feel a tad more confident and relaxed from all the inner turmoil, doubts, frustration and negativity that had been clouding me earlier.

Day 4

Today is dedicated to all those who have come into my life, been a part of it, helped me or were helped by me and sometimes parted ways or lost touch. Yes, they are my FRIENDS! A man is known by the friends he keeps – goes the phrase and I guess I can do nothing but accept it. I have been really fortunate in having really really really good friends in my life. Some who have stood with me not only through all my happiness and wonderful times but also through my trials and tribulations – helping me overcome the obstacles that life threw at me, being my constant pillar of strength, putting up with all my nonsense too – esp on days when I would crib about how cruel the world is and how it was constantly a Me vs. the world – when apparently I was just being an absolute pain in the ‘you-know-where!’ I have had friends who have stayed with me for a couple of decades of my existence (hey I’m not that old ok!) while those you have lasted only a couple of years. I am indeed a special child of the Universe, cos I have always been blessed with the best souls around me, I have a lot of angels with no wings and some devils (partners in crime) without horns who have been a major part of my life. Nonetheless, today I take this opportunity to Thank all my friends, new-old, young-old, still in touch and even those who have become nothing but a memory. I salute you all for having been there for me and with immense heartfelt gratitude I THANK YOU FRIENDS, for walking these steps in life with me. Today Dear Universe, I want to thank you for blessing me with all the wonderful people who I call/ed FRIENDS, who have given me lessons, memories and much much more to experience in life.Thank you thank you and Thank You!

With so much to be grateful for, everyday is a struggle on where to begin with!

Day 3

After your partner and parents, the next support system is the extended family. The relatives, cousins who are closer than siblings and aunts who are sometimes an exact reflection of your mother. Today I’d like to take the opportunity to thank my family – near, close or extended. His family, my family everyone. I have cousins whom I am closer to and even more comfy talking to than my own sibling. I have aunts who have showered me with love and care like my own mother. My grandparents who have taught me righteousness and being good with stories weaved around heroes, princes and mythology. All of them have been a strong support system from whom I have learnt quite some things about how life is and what to expect. Today my dear Universe, I’d like to thank you for this immediate support system my big beautiful caring family. I thank you for every member, their well being and everything they’ve showered/taught me. Thank you Family.