For Your Information

Posted on 4/1/2014
by
Clemmons Branch Library

Due to the recent epidemic that has struck the country with force, we have found the need to reclassify our zombie literature. This action has been taken to ensure public safety for those few who remain uninfected. Because of the rapid nature of the virus, there is obviously little time to become a zombie expert. Though we encourage citizens to increase their knowledge on the matter by reading our extensive collection of zombie training manuals such as The Walking Dead graphic novels, and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, we understand time is of the essence and as such we would like to present a few common sense measures that should prove useful in the midst of this apocalyptic event:

Don't panic.

Do not approach a zombie.

Travel in groups.

Find yourself at the Library...

Information is still limited at this time. We are uncertain if zombies will be eligible for healthcare under the new healthcare act, however, library staff made a decision not to award them library cards. We have been hard at work all day moving the zombie books over from the fiction to non-fiction section, so please bear with us during this transition.