Hey guys, look: I want Bioshock Infinite as much as you do, but I’m over “Limited”, “Collector’s” and “3D High-Definition Mega-Mighty Super-Big Commemorative Definitive Avant-Garde Collector’s High-Octane Ultra Lithium Titanium Extra Special Director’s Cut Signature Edition”s in all their excessive glory. Why? Because gaming has the bad end of the stick here. What would normally be fulfilling in a three or four-disc set for a movie with hours of sprawling documentaries about how they made it, is usually just crappy tchotckes when it comes to special editions for games. Well, next year’s big early release has two largely-similar pleasures for all your Americana-devouring nerdiness!

For $79.99, you can get the Bioshock Infinite Premium Edition, which features the game (natch), some in-game bonuses, console themes (woo!), a resin figurine for an upcoming board game, a keychain, a lithograph (probably DVD case-sized, unfortunately) and a well-produced art book. All pretty standard stuff, but no doubt cool to those who really want a slight glimpse into the floating city of Columbia, its characters, and its manufacture. For a whopping $149.99, you get all of the Premium Edition’s contents plus a massive statue of the game’s antagonist (protagonist?), Songbird. I’m betting the wings come in a separate piece and wonder how they snap or slide together.

Honestly, the game alone will be just fine for me, but if 2K wants to send us one of these things for review, I mean, we won’t stop ya! Of course, I know some retailers will probably have a few of these on shelves come summer at super-marked down prices, just like they do every ornate special edition. Bioshock Infinite is set to release in February alongside SimCity. Fight! Fight! Fight!