"Dear Guy, I clotheslined as you went by on your bicycle. You don't know me, but I'm the guy who broke your collarbone. Now, I've asked myself over and over, why did I clothesline that guy? Perhaps I watched too much slapstick as a kid and expected you to get up after being violently assaulted. Imagine my confusion when you did not. Although not so confused that I'd actually hang around. In all fairness, it was pretty funny. I mean, the last thing you'd expect as you were riding merrily by on your bike is that someone you didn't know at all would stick out his arm and crush your throat. I mean, you really should've seen it, it was just like, wham! Bam![chuckles]Dave: Anyway... in closing, as you lay there convalescing in your hospital bed, I'm forced to wonder, what were you doing riding your bike on the sidewalk anyway? Huh, ya asshole? SideWALK? Maybe sometimes we bring heartache upon ourselves. Signed, the guy that collapsed your trachea."

Next time ya'll are biatching about cyclists taking the lane, you might consider how dangerous it is to ride in the door zone (death zone).

So fark you all very much--- my popcorn is ready.

roads are for licensed insured motor vehicles. go ride your bike with the other kiddies on the playground.

Oh great, another incompetent motorist who doesn't know the rules of the road. Just what my commute needs.

o great, another incompetent & entitled cyclist who can't use common sense. just what my commute needs

You know what, I am entitled. Legally entitled to use the road. And unless you're one of those rare drivers who actually stop at stop signs and signal their turns, I'm a more considerate road user than you are. Please, just stop driving before you kill someone.

This is all true but you are in a lot more danger and should keep that in mind. Pissing drivers off will get you seriously injured.

If a driver gets pissed off because I'm safely and legally using the road, then that's their problem. I refuse to let the incompetence of others define what I do.

If they want to try to take it out on me? Then that's what criminal and civil courts are for.

Funny, you didn't respond to my riding double post. It's illegal in my neck of the woods but most, if not all, cyclist ignore it.

Scott [Voice-Over]: And now Bruce McCulloch with an open letter to the people who watched the guy steal his bike wheel.

[Bruce enters, bike lowered from above]

Bruce: Well, you knew it wasn't his wheel! What did you think? He was coming back for the rest of his bike later? Well, why didn't you do something? Why didn't you say something? You human piece of apathy! Why didn't you say, "Hey! That's not your wheel! That could be Bruce McCulloch's wheel! We love him! And he loved that wheel!" Just eatin' brunch. Well, didn't you think I needed it? I did! Well, look at that! Feast on that act of violence! Good work, Einstein! Pus!

Scott [Voice-Over]: That was Bruce McCulloch with an open letter to the people who watched while the guy stole his bike wheel.

Eric The Pilot:"Dear Guy, I clotheslined as you went by on your bicycle. You don't know me, but I'm the guy who broke your collarbone. Now, I've asked myself over and over, why did I clothesline that guy? Perhaps I watched too much slapstick as a kid and expected you to get up after being violently assaulted. Imagine my confusion when you did not. Although not so confused that I'd actually hang around. In all fairness, it was pretty funny. I mean, the last thing you'd expect as you were riding merrily by on your bike is that someone you didn't know at all would stick out his arm and crush your throat. I mean, you really should've seen it, it was just like, wham! Bam![chuckles]Dave: Anyway... in closing, as you lay there convalescing in your hospital bed, I'm forced to wonder, what were you doing riding your bike on the sidewalk anyway? Huh, ya asshole? SideWALK? Maybe sometimes we bring heartache upon ourselves. Signed, the guy that collapsed your trachea."

Well, since you took that:Scott [Voice-Over]: And now Bruce McCulloch with an open letter to the guy that stole his bike wheel.

[Bruce enters, bike lowered from above. Lots of "Ah"s from the audience]

Bruce: Well, why did you do it? Are you some sort of jerk or something? It's *my* front wheel! What did you think, that I'd -- drive home and not notice it was stolen? What are you then? Some sort of *prick*? Some sort of idiot? Some sort of thief? What would you do with just my front wheel anyway? What good would just one wheel be? You human loser! Well, why didn't you buy your own wheel if you wanted one so badly. That's what I did.

[Music starts as Bruce turns away and stops when he turns back.]

Well, don't you think I need that wheel? Well, well, what were you thinking? JERK!

Scott [Voice-Over]:That was Bruce McCulloch with an open letter to the guy that stole his bike wheel.

As much as I hate cyclists when they ride on the street, I hate them 10x more when they ride on the sidewalk. Every time one blasts by me on a narrow sidewalk, I want to kick out his back tire and watch him bounce his stupid skull off the concrete. Then I would take a piece of his broken bike as a trophy. But I never do,