Why Students With ‘Wallets’ And Not ‘Terrorists With Guns’ Pose A Bigger Threat To Peace

Playing challenging bouts of ‘stone, papers, scissors’ has been my childhood passion. Being a three times national champ, I have to dedicate a fair amount of my daily routine for intense fitness and training.

Until recently, I was the best in my sport but due to the news of a sharp change in basic rules by the sports section of India’s radio Rwanda, I am unable to perform well.

Due to the changed rules, now lethal stony leather wallets have been recognised as skull-crushing rocks. This quick change has caused a lot of accidents and injuries too, prompting the Modi government to take certain preventive measures. Who knows, the government might soon ban students from even carrying a wallet to university.

Who can refute that? Why would you allow young students to carry such deadly weapons to the classroom! I agree that young students like challenging sports but there is no fun in putting other’s lives at risk by carrying a wallet especially to public places.

Look at how good citizens like Kapil Gujjar or Rambhakt Gopal only bring firearms to these places so that they can peacefully entertain their Hindutva nationalist sentiments without causing grave inconvenience to the public. The little inconvenience, men like Gopal can cause is often never repeated because those who face that generally get killed in their first non-violent attempt!

Even cabinet ministers and certain Chief Ministers promote this non-violent game called “goli maaro saalon ko” (shoot the dissenters) instead of the dangerous “wallet maaro police waalon ko” (pelt the police with wallets).

Recently, a video of a student from Jamia Millia Islamia went viral. He had a large, brutal brown coloured wallet in his hand. Until then, I was not familiar with the lethality of the rocky wallets. At the same time, India’s vigilantly vigilante media knew how serious a law and order situation, the possession of a fatal leather wallet could create especially at a sensitive protest site. If sources are to be believed, almost every protestor carried a wallet.

It was alleged that students had hurled wallets at the police. And that this incensed the Delhi police which still showed exemplary restraint. Of course, it only retaliated with batons, flash bombs, and tear gas although almost every policeman also had a wallet in their pockets; perhaps quite heavier than those of the students.

That’s the exemplary integrity and righteousness of the Delhi Police! Had the students behaved like the good Samaritan Rambhakt Gopal, maybe the Delhi police would have ‘stood by’ and used no force.

A CAA supporter firing at Jamia students protesting the act.

But not all are as sane as the above-mentioned epitomes of civic morality. Therefore, it has become important for the government to prevent these wallet pelters from disturbing the peace and safety of others. Since day one, this government has been committed to taking necessary steps to curb this menace.

The past 6 years are a testimony to this fact. Perhaps, this may be the reason why the government has let the Kashmiri economy be destroyed in the past one year. A notorious and dying leather industry is also crippled further. I think that this will break the spine of those who pelt wallets there.

Don’t be disheartened, this economic masterstroke is not limited to Kashmir but it applies to the whole of India. Following the mantra of “sabka saath, sabka vikas” (progress, together), the fall in the economy will lighten all Indian purses.

Still, many critics of PM Modi even fail to see the simple reason behind the constantly falling value of the rupee. A lighter rupee will reduce the impact of damage it might cause if it is hurled at someone. This is also why he has brought the 1 rupee note! He has perhaps reduced the weight and size of every note both literally and metaphorically.

Many criticise him for the demonetisation ‘blunder.’ Seriously! Tell me, didn’t the government then claim that demonetisation had brought down the cases of peltings in Kashmir? Every wallet was lighter for at least 60 days!

Instead of two large ₹1000 notes, you now have a light ₹2000 note powered with a weight-conscious nano-tech chip. We were even told to go completely cashless!

You are wrong if you think that this is the only way by which the safety of Indian citizens has been ensured. Why do you think the government has failed to check the 45-year-high record unemployment? Because no jobs mean no money and no money means empty wallets.

The time is not far when we return to the golden days with no wallets, nor cash, nor cards. And I am proud to say that India will be the first country to achieve that glorious feat! Before that, the Jamia student seen in the video must be hounded for possessing a wallet, to set an example for society.

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