CSU

Colorado State's Greg Lupfer learning from mistake

Defensive line coach says he has grown since bowl-game incident

By Mike Brohard

Sports Editor

Posted:
04/21/2014 08:36:27 PM MDT

Colorado State defensive line coach Greg Lupfer, shown during Saturday's spring game, said he has learned and grown as a person since being suspended for two weeks after he was caught on camera using a homophobic slur during last December's New Mexico Bowl. (Steve Stoner / Loveland Reporter-Herald)

FORT COLLINS — One word can change the mood of a day as Greg Lupfer found out last December, as well as how one is perceived.

The Colorado State defensive line coach was caught on camera using a homophobic slur and directing it at Washington State quarterback Connor Halliday early on during the New Mexico Bowl, and it became the black cloud that hung over him and the program after a thrilling 48-45 victory to open the bowl season.

It cost Lupfer, heading into his 20th season of coaching, a two-week suspension without pay, as well as the requirement he undergo anger management and diversity training. Bigger yet, it changed public perception about him as a person.

In an apology issued by the university at the time, Lupfer said he would learn and grow from the incident, and at the end of spring practice, he said he had done just that by facing what he had done.

"I put myself in that situation, and it was my mistake," Lupfer said last Friday. "I deserved ... I'm the one who did it. My dad used to tell me you have to pay the piper, and that's the way I approached it. I wanted to go straight ahead with this and really dive into all the classes that I took, all the meetings I was involved in and I wanted to learn from the situation, and that's what I did. No doubt about it."

He's not the only one who feels that way, either.

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Foula Dimopoulos, the director of the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Queer Questioning and Ally Resource Center on campus, had been in contact with athletic director Jack Graham at the time of the suspension, and agreed with his course of action, hoping a positive dialogue would stem from the incident. Though it wasn't required for the two to meet, Dimopoulos reached out to Lupfer for a visit. What transpired for Lupfer is a friendship and a grander understanding of his actions.

"When I was with Foula, she was 100 percent open," Lupfer said. "She knew I made a mistake and understood that I understood I made a mistake. She wanted to explain to me what the effect the word has on people. She explained it to me, and it really hit home."

His plan is to continue his talks with Dimopoulos, who is leaving campus after eight years to pursue other avenues in life. Dimopoulos took the approach of trying to understand, saying she greatly appreciates "the risks and time both Greg and I took and still take as we connect."

They talked about what he said, its effect and also of the address LZ Granderson gave on campus in February with his "Dare You to Move" tour.

"I reached out to Greg and invited him to have coffee," Dimopoulos said. "I strive to live a life where we, as human beings, are not making enemies of one another, where we seek to understand each other. I was hopeful from the onset that our conversation would open that understanding, and as we have talked, Greg has listened deeply and has been moved by some of the stories I have shared."

Lupfer said it is a word that will never again cross his lips, nor will he allow it to be used by his players. It has also been a lesson head coach Jim McElwain said the entire program has used for growth.

"I don't think there's any doubt about that," McElwain said. "Anytime it can happen to a family member it hits home, and then the learning becomes that much stronger."

Lupfer, who recruits in the northwest area of the country, said it has not been an issue raised by recruits or their families. If that does happen, he said he will take the time to again express his remorse as he continues to not simply put the incident behind him, but become a better person.

"If it does come up, my response is always going to be that I made a huge mistake and it's not something that is ever going to happen again," he said. "I've learned my lesson from it, and I don't want people to judge me for what I said because that's not who I am as a person."