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The Vaguely Interested Man's Guide to the World Cup

What to watch, when to gamble, how to talk trash, the truth about Team USA, and more these are the parts you actually need to know for the next month

Jun 11, 2010

Ben Goldstein

What to watch, when to gamble, how to talk trash, the truth about Team USA, and more — these are the only 11 things you actually need to know for the next monthSTAY TUNED: Chris Jones Is on the Ground at the Cup for Esquire.com!

Ben Goldstein

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How It Works

Eight groups of four teams. Ten different stadiums. Nine South African cities. Each team plays the other three teams in their group once. Then the top two from each group move on to a single-elimination tournament.

Joe Klamer/AFP/Getty Images

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First Game

Mexico vs. South Africa, Friday, June 11, at 10:00 A.M. ET. A win would be a major thing for South Africa, a relatively weak team that hopes to avoid being the first host nation to fail to advance past the group stage.

Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

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First Game You Might Care About

England vs. U. S. A., Saturday, June 12, at 2:30 P.M. ET.

Sandra Behne/Bongarts/Getty Images

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Important Rivalries: Germany vs. England

The English enjoy reminding the Germans of their record in past notable competitions. Their customary chant: "Two world wars and one World Cup."

Bob Thomas/Getty Images

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Important Rivalries: Argentina vs. England

Goes back to at least 1986, when Diego Maradona scored with an intentional handball, unnoticed by referees, giving Argentina the victory.

Daniel Garcia/Getty Images

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Important Rivalries: Brazil vs. Argentina

The two best teams in South America. Their enmity is intense. Each believes it produced the best player ever: Argentina has Maradona and Brazil has Pelé.

John MacDougall/AFP/Getty Images

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Important Rivalries: France vs. Italy

Head-butt, 2006.

Jasper Juinen/Getty Images

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Best Bet (In Terms of Scoring)

Chile vs. Spain, Friday, June 25, at 2:30 P.M. ET. Both teams are very aggressive and score often. Since this will probably be a win-or-go-home game for Chile, look for them to push even more than usual.

Courtesy of FIFA

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Could Be a Good Year for the U.S.

Not to actually win the thing — that's still a long way off. But to advance and hold our own among the top teams would be a huge accomplishment.

Andrew Yates/AFP/Getty Images

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Neuropsychiatric Disorder You'll Hear About Every Time The U.S. Plays

U. S. goalie Tim Howard has Tourette's syndrome.

Samuel Kubani/AFP/Getty Images

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Players to Watch: Wayne Rooney (England)

One of the top players in the world. Looks and plays like a thug.

Lluis Gene/AFP/Getty Images

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Players to Watch: Lionel Messi (Argentina)

FIFA World Player of the Year. Fun to watch.

Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

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Players to Watch: Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal)

Extraordinary dribbler.

Jasper Juinen/Getty Images

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Players to Watch: Xavi (Spain)

One of the best playmakers in the world.

Jose Jordan/AFP/Getty Images

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Players to Watch: Fernando Torres (Spain)

Spectacular goal scorer.

Antonio Scorza/AFP/Getty Images

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Players to Watch: Kaka (Brazil)

One of the best — and best-named — players in the world.

Ian Kington/AFP/Getty Images

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American Player to Watch

Clint Dempsey. The scrappy striker from Nacogdoches, Texas, has been on a tear with his club, the English Premier League's Fulham. A clutch player.

Courtesy of Adidas

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The Uniforms

Twelve of the countries (including Germany, France, Spain, and Argentina) wear new Adidas uniforms called TechFit. An elastic crisscross on the back supposedly stores energy and leads to increased vertical leap (by 4 percent), power (by 5.3 percent), speed (by 1.1 percent), and claims of cheating (by anyone who doesn't have them).

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