Tag Archives: growing up

So FUCK. Academic Awards Ceremony tomorrow. The final time everyone (mostly) will all be together in that good old auditorium at school. I’m having mixed feelings about the whole ordeal.

On one hand, I’m kinda apprehensive about it. It’s the last time…the LAST time…we’re all going to be together. What the hell? Since when did growing up start happening so fast? I’m not ready to say goodbye. The fact that we’re all moving on with our lives hasn’t really hit me yet, and I don’t think it will until tomorrow. I mean, Kawau wasn’t really a goodbye – that was only IB kids and we had Grad Dinner coming up. But then Grad Dinner wasn’t a final goodbye either because we all knew we had the whole summer ahead of us to catch up with people, and of course this Academic ceremony tomorrow still to come. Yet that Academic ceremony is tomorrow. Already. And it really is the last chance to see everyone before we all go off changing and growing up and making new friends. I don’t want to cry (mascara becomes a problem then…hahaha), but if I do I think I’m allowed to. Kristin has been – and will continue to be, hopefully – my family 🙂

And in this sense, I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow incredibly. Although, yes, it will be the ‘final goodbye’, it certainly doesn’t mean we’re never going to see each other again. A good group of us are in Christchurch together for starters, and it should be easy enough to see Auckland people as well as to keep in contact with everyone else what with facebook and skype making communication so easy. It’ll also be good to see my old teachers tomorrow, as well as Marisa and any other year 13s that I like enough to say hello to 🙂

So overall, tomorrow should be a blast. I’ve never been this excited for an assembly before so it’s kinda weird, but maybe it’s true what they say about high school being the best years of your life. We just fail to realise it sometimes when we’re actually going through it. Also, I get to have a little lunch with you tomorrow before you leave in the evening. This is neeeeeeeeeeded…weeks apart suck bollocks.

To redeem a little bit from my blatant last post, I want to talk about how us and our future together. It’s approaching Valentine’s Day and well, I’m feeling in the mood. So here goes 🙂

Now, people are bound to judge me for saying this, but I have every intention of marrying you. I know we’re still young and all that, but personally, I think that being young makes it better. I think that young minds possess more passion and will than the minds of many (although certainly not all) adults. Of course I have an extremely biased view on this, having yet to experience real adulthood I’m still fairly innocent to many of the trials and tribulations of being a grown up. However, all you need is love right? I fully believe in this. I believe that our love conquers all. I mean, just look at what we’ve already been through! Sure, adults encounter their own problems with finances, rent, jobs etc., but do adults in love encounter the same problems as those that aren’t? Put it this way: we both battled our way through IB. We inevitably had our own personal little problems and stressful moments as did everyone, but having someone else with me 100% of the time who I knew was going through exactly the same thing and was there to talk to and reassure me sure as hell made it a billion times less painful. So I’m theorising that the same should apply to marriage. Money issues, job hunting…I don’t know, whatever it is, when you’re married you’re both in it together aren’t you? “A problem shared is a problem halved”, and that’s exactly the way it should be.

This has all somehow emerged from last night’s action. I realised I don’t want to grow up to be like my parents. Without going into personal details, I do kind of get that three kids undoubtedly gets stressful and that we’re probably not easy on the pocket. But I want us – you and I – to be so much better than what I’ve grown up with. I want us to be able to be middle-aged and working but to still have time for each other. Admittedly, I do have a very idealistic image planted in my mind about us, kids, house, good money, and of course I know that absolutely flawless perfection is impossible. However, I do believe that it’s possible to perceive something – such as life – as perfect despite its flaws. Referring back to the ‘love conquering all’ idea, I truly have faith that it can, based on what I’ve already experienced together with you.

However, I do think that there is one key element that cannot be omitted if love is to be the solution to all life’s problems, and that is communication. From my observations in my 19 years of life, lack of communication just results in misunderstandings and arguments, thus leading to unhappiness. And really, what good is life if it doesn’t make us happy? It’s human nature to seek the happy and enjoyable things in life. I mean, we don’t choose to be part of a group of friends that put us down and make us feel shit about ourselves constantly, do we? No, we choose friends who make us smile and laugh and who are able to pick us up when we’re down. The same goes for marriage. Just because there’s a vow involved that commits us to this one person out of the 6.8 billion others on Earth, that should not mean that at some point we decide this person no longer makes us happy. Even through decades of marriage and memories together, I believe (and hope) that if a person once made you happy, then they still can. Same goes for communication. If communication is failing, make it un-fail for God’s sake! If you were once able to talk to the love of your life about anything, you still can.

Now forgive me, for I sense that this post has become somewhat like an advice column towards the last paragraph. But I can’t be screwed editing it, and I’m sure the message is pretty clear anyway: you and me, together, always, because you’re my best friend, you’re my world, and you make me so so happy 😀

And if this isn’t the most appropriate song to accompany this post, then I don’t know what is 🙂