i love reading your posts. i can relate to your thoughts alot. things are going well in some ways better some not as good. i can see how much my bf loves me and wants to keep me in his life forever. i always said to myself and them if i thought our relationship was putting a strain on their marriage i would leave. easier said than done. my relationship with bf is amazing, its been 18 months now and the nre has quietened down slightly but now i feel a deeper love and an understanding. my relationship with his wife, my gf, has been so up and down due to many reasons i understand but now feels more like a very very close friendship, the intimacy has died down somewhat. our sexual intimacy as a 3 has also decreased and this is sad. i asked gf about this yesterday and she said she felt the focus last year became too much on me and bf pushing for 1:1 time that it put her off joining in as a 3. she admits that she really beleived, when she fell for me and we all started spending time together and then they asked me to move in, that it would remain her and him, and us 3 separately. then bf fell in love with me too, she honestly didnt count on that happening.

so i dont know where that leaves us, ive had 2 nights in past week where gf has been away and ive spent the whole night in bed with bf and its been amazing. we are all so different. bf loves to be told how much he is wanted and loves me initiating sex, and after my 20 year marriage with no desire in me for my husband, i love turning him on, and iniatating sex often. gf always waits for either of us to initiate intimacy and that makes it hard. she beleives she needs to see us wanting her to feel loved. both me and bf would love for her to make the move occasionally. everyone needs to feel wanted/ desired sometimes.