I picked up a book off my bookshelf this morning, The Awakened Heart by Gerald May. I have had it a couple years now, it as traversed quite a variety of seasons of my heart with me and been a gift and companion along the journey. And so it remained to be for me this morning, as I continue on, as I am today.

I was so struck by the following words I knew I needed to share them with you all, as well. In this season of Advent, which Christians observe in preparation of Jesus’ birth celebrated at the end of the month, one is prompted to encounter, explore, and hopefully embrace the areas of darkness in one’s life. Perhaps this is uncertainty, confusion, feeling lost or distant, numbness, longing. All the while the encouragement is to let yourself be in this space and with the feelings and seek to receive expectant hope of the love, light, and provision that is coming.

May these words and their promptings stir the soil of your soul. May they unearth covered dreams, desires, and aspirations, and reawaken the germination process of that which may be yearning to be birthed from you.

“What divine power ever said we should adjust ourselves to the ways of our world? Is our society so perfect, so just, so loving that it is worth adapting ourselves to? Think of the great spiritual leaders of history, and think of the most loving people you have known; were they well adjusted? Were their hearts determined by what was practical and proper? To state the point positively, what is so wrong with wanting to fly?

“The natural human spirit is irrepressibly radical; it wants the unattainable, yearns for the impractical, is willing to risk the improper. But as we conform ourselves to the practicalities and proprieties of efficiency, we restrict the space between desire and control; we confine our intention to an ever-decreasing range of possibilities. The choices we make–and therefore the way we feel about ourselves–are determined less by what we long for and more by what is controllable and acceptable to the world around us. After enough of this, we lose our passion. We forget who we are.

“It is imperative, not just for our individual spiritual growth but for the hope of the world, that we begin to reverse this process. …As a start, try to recover some of your own impossible hopes… Might you not hope that suddenly, by some miracle, everyone on earth could have food and shelter? …Do you not long for complete love, beauty, and freedom in yourself and your relationships? …Try to sit with some of your hopes for a while; just be aware of them. See if you don’t begin to feel an expansion of space inside you, a certain enlarging, opening sense of possibility (46-47).”

“Intention, given the grace not to derail itself into superstitious control, becomes a willing, honest turning toward the source of love. In and through that love, all you need is already given. You do not need to learn another single thing. Only allow your spirit to fly (64).”

On mornings like this one my body is not stirred from slumber by an incessant buzzing by my bed. On mornings like this one it is instead sweetly wooed awake, even before the buzz, by the blushed pink that kisses the dark and flushes my windows, and beckons me from beneath my warm covers to something yet even more enticing: the rosey scape of sunrise sparked by love. On mornings like this one, especially, I find myself in awe of how all creation speaks to the truth that hope and joy ignite when light breaks out of darkness.

And so I celebrate all the more on this day. On this first day of Advent. On this day of the Christian new year. This day of light coming–preparing to be birthed–into our beloved world in a whole, new wondrous way.

Oh, to be met by God! Such longings fulfilled. It’s that in between waiting time that is so agonizing. And we don’t know what to do. You just seek and seek. You pray and cry and write and pray and find friends to give comfort, you cook you, agonize and you pray more or you sit in silence and get angry with God.

And then, love arrives. Then you see the face of God. Your room is lit up with the pink sunrise and beckons you with great excitement and energy to come out and see it. Your heart is awakened and joy fills the soul. The wind blows and the leaves fall and they twirl down to your face. And then a flock of birds sail across the sky. And then the warm morning breeze tickles your skin with its cool undertone. And you feel whole again and happy again and loved and not forgotten.

I am elated to announce in the last month six of my pieces have been selected to be shown in three galleries around Atlanta between September and November!

The pieces reflect the bounty and breadth of beauty in our world, from its landscapes, to lives, to shared experiences such as enjoying a late night hot dog or clamoring into a tiny space to catch a glimpse of Jesus’ birthplace.

Please come check them out, even take one (or more) home to enjoy at your leisure!

I am so grateful for your support and encouragement to help me get to this point. I look forward to keeping you posted on what unfolds!

International Guild of Visual Peacemakers is one of the most inspirational organizations I have come across. They are “visual communicators devoted to peacemaking and breaking down stereotypes by displaying the beauty and dignity of various cultures around the world.” Their vision does not just speak to “professional” photographers, but all of us who have become photographers, mostly on our phones.

We live in a more visual culture than ever before and so we need to now consider how our actions affect others and ourselves. Let us join in such a beautiful vision and I encourage you to take these messages to heart:

“Faces of Lebanon” is now up in its newest location and ready for viewing! I have even included a few new photos, so if you saw it before its worth seeing again!The exhibit will be up all week, April 20-26, at North Avenue Presbyterian Church in downtown Atlanta as a part of their two-week missions conference.

The conference concludes with an interactive time of poetry, reflection and prayer with one of the Syrian pastors I met last November while in Lebanon. It is bound to be a rich and powerful time. I hope to see you there! More info here: http://www.napc.org/mission

As some of you know, I am starting a photography business, Life Illuminated! Through my art I seek to offer visual stories reflecting the natural beauty of our lives as they unfold, weave together, and spring to new life.

Two weekends ago I had the joyous blessing of getting to photograph beloved friends of mine, the Taylor Family. A family that has welcomed me in as one of their own. We have found connections within Columbia Theological Seminary–where I graduated from and where Doug, the father, works–as well as worshiping at the same church, and, probably most importantly: we’re all West Coasters.

Our photo shoot was in celebration of their life together as a family and the sending off of their oldest daughter, Maggie, to college in the fall. Maggie and I enjoyed half the shoot on our own, among the beautiful brick buildings around Grant Park and Oakland Cemetery (sounds morbid, but it’s gorgeous! The bounteous flowers and exquisite mausoleums reflect new life always abounds…!). Then, for the second hour we connected with her family and I followed them around getting to document their vivacious, silly, deeply loving interactions. Here’s a glimpse into their story:

My hope is to present you with a window into the magnificently resilient, inspiring, forward-thinking, eclectic country that is Lebanon. Despite its history of trials and tragedies, including a war from 1975-1990 which the country is still recovering from, Lebanon has persevered. It has also generously opened its doors to others in need and remained a fairly stable and peaceful land amidst war-torn neighbors.

Unfortunately, the tides are beginning to change and new restrictions are beginning to arise as the number of refugees in Lebanon has skyrocketed in the last two years due to violence in both Syria and Iraq. Prior to this recent influx, Lebanon received a flood of refugees fleeing from Palestine, largely from 1948-1967 when it was divided from the new state of Israel and came under the rule of Jordan. Currently, Lebanon is experiencing a growing number of immigrants from African and South Asian countries, as well. Now 25%, if not more, of Lebanon’s small population of four million is made up of immigrants and refugees. You can imagine the challenge this places on the country’s infrastructure. Yet, what can they do? How morally afflictive would it be for this culture steeped hospitality if they had to one day close their borders completely?

Amidst the challenges, uncertainties and pressures these fast changes have brought, the people in Lebanon–natives, refugees, and immigrants alike– live lives of astounding resilience, hope, and joy. People are joining together, extending exemplary hospitality and showing remarkable compassion. It is these people I introduce to you.

May you be blessed and inspired as you meet our brothers and sister in the Middle East face to face, eye to eye, story to story–yours and theirs, now a part of each others.

Wow, it’s here. Tomorrow I host my first art auction. I’m fundraising on the back end for my visual storytelling workshop in Portugal and on the front end for a trip to Lebanon and Syrian in November where I will use the skills I gained in Portugal to tell the stories of the faithful and courageous pastors and Christians in the Middle East.

It’s been a week of go-go-go, all the while trying to honor my need for rest and balance. A challenge, for sure, but amazing to see my resilience.

The event has not gone as planned. The plan would have been fulfilled with the success of a small (due to limited parking) reunion/fundraiser enjoyed by a number of my friends I traveled to the Middle East with a few years ago. Since one of those friends had graciously offered the venue, and experienced had proven everyone from our group LOVES any and every opportunity to get together, we both thought everything, and everyone, would fall right into place.

Church of the Nativity, Bethlehem, West Bank, Palestine

Siq Petra, Jordan

Nope. I was pretty disappointed about this for a little while. I was still holding onto hope people were merely taking their sweet time to RSVP. However, once the reminder email went out and the date to respond arrived, ‘No’s streamed into my inbox.

So, on Monday I found myself thinking: okay, it’s summer, people are out of town; it’s now four days before a Friday night event and most people plan much farther in advance for weekend plans; is anyone going to be there?

My fears of failure and humiliation which I had pretty successfully let go of by this point began to creep back. Fairly quickly though, I was reassured by remembering of words of loved ones I’d heard throughout the preceding days, “It’s not about being successful, it’s about being faithful,” and, “It’s okay, it’s your first one.” Or, “…first salon,” as my uncle and dad so sweetly kept referring to it.

My perspective began to shift as I acknowledged my fear and recognized it was feeding unwanted pride and other negative self-seeking motives. I was able to step back and transform my goal. Ultimately, when the event is over I want to feel satisfied. Satisfaction doesn’t require the attendance of particular people or making an outstanding profit, it requires an inner awareness and peace I have been faithful. Tangibly, this faithfulness looks like the steps I’ve prayerfully taken, letting my creativity flow, all the networking I’ve done, letting myself learn from the process instead of beating myself up, having fun along the way, asking for prayers, showing myself love and grace, just showing up. Offering my best. This is satisfaction for me. Success, as well. The results, those are in God’s hands.

Tabgha, Sea of Galilee, Israel

It’s a hard thing, a very hard thing, to let go of control. Once you do though, wow, it’s freeing. The pressure is off, but the motivation is still ripe. You receive the joy of discovering your true role and God’s true role. God’s: to be God, in control, providing, being faithful, gracious, kind, loving, challenging, mysterious, good. Ours: to respond in gratitude to God by co-creating with God, using our gifts, releasing our desires in order to have them be fulfilled as dreamed or by something even better, being open to the bigger picture, trusting God, going with the flow.

With this release of expectations followed a new lens and a wider view. I began to think beyond my initial dream to something deeper, purer, greater. I thought, here I have all this delicious food, wine, art, live jazz music, and a pool, I just want people to get to enjoy it!

Now that I’ve had to create pretty much entirely new guest list, I’ve had the opportunity to invite loads more people. People from a very wide variety of circles. This means more people are exposed to the work I’m doing! Additionally, due to the limited timing and availability of parking space, most of my invites have been to people I randomly run into. These face to face exchanges are always better, on every level–for commitment to the event, relationship development, and lasting memory of the cause. Awesome!

So, as I wrap this up I find myself basking in joy, wonder, awe and affirmation. My mind and heart have been transformed. I have grown in deeper trust in God and I am already tasting the sweetness of peace and satisfaction.

I invite you to enjoy some of my restful and reflective photography on my Etsy shop, Lux Pix: Where Life is Illuminated (luxpix.etsy.com). Plus, if you would like to support my trip a great way is to make a work of my art your own!