Friday, June 13, 2008

Mummified Walking

The walkabout is beginning, though it's taking time to unravel the rags and vines gathered around my limbs. If I were Lot's wife, I would be lump of crystallized sand by now, looking back, trouble letting go. Focus, determination, one step in front of the other. For several years now it's felt like I'm running out the clock. Now that I've decided to move forward, the clock still rules my life. A pathetic excuse, but true nonetheless. I need to remember the words of Kazantzakis (Saint Francis) - "all roads lead to the earth - God is an abyss - jump!!!". Some things cannot be done piece by piece. The heart must be one.

Speaking of tripping, get this: On Saturday I had a dream about you. I don't know how that's possible since I've never met you, but I did.

In the dream, you, me, and Slouch had gotten together for a writing session. There was lots of creative back-and-forth: we were asking each other's advice and offering suggestions to fix problems. Can't remember what you looked like (or Slouch, for that matter), but it was one of those bizarrely non-specific dreams where the words matter more than the visuals. Unfortunately I can't remember what you had written, either. Did I tell you I started my own little blog project?

http://readytoblowagasket.blogspot.com/

Maybe that's where my dream comes from, who knows.

Anyway, I guess I missed you while you were gone. Glad to see you're back, even if it's a brief reappearance.

I like your writing style, it makes me want to keep reading without worrying about specifically what you're writing about - I don't know what you're working on, but might I suggest just start writing and after about 200 pages worry about where it's going, whether it's a book, a diatribe, a manifesto or whatever. You describe well. It makes me think of my own writing, that I'm too idea-focused, that without the punch line or the story the words can't exist on the page by themselves independent of some ultimate purpose. Just write.

Wow. Thanks, D, for describing your reaction as a reader. I'm trying to embark on exactly what you are recommending: don't know what it is yet, but the writing (and assembling via the blog) feels necessary. My gut tells me it will reveal a more obvious direction or form, but your feedback is immensely helpful.

Yes, your writing is idea-focused, but not too much so (as you say). It's your awesome strength, one I very much admire, and just another way to go about creating something.

I know you're super busy, but I think you should keep posting your ideas here or at TPM for the feedback. You have an audience at TPM that can (indirectly, at least) help you see where to refine your ideas.

I personally hope you'll go back to developing the piece with little desi in the backseat of the car in 1968.

Fwiw, Flannery O'Connor advised writers to take up drawing. She thought drawing was a way for writers to literally see certain details they wanted to get down on paper. Her father taught her to draw, and she kept it up until later in life when her health required her to direct all energy into writing. Anyway, just a thought about how to add pictures to your ideas.

Dog days of summer, better camping than blogging but back in the city. I'll try to make this page a bit more inspired given time. Of course without people arguing with me, hard to keep up productivity.... ;-)