Janet King S03E08 Recap: Be Still My Broken Heart!

It was all just too much to hope that our favourite lesbian couple would have a happy ending. As one of my online ‘honourary lesbian’ friends tweeted (hi @E_R_Saunders!), “At least one of them isn’t dead, although that seems a very low bar to set. As an honourary lesbian, will I always feel this broken?” Yes. Yes, I’m afraid you will.

There was hope…

But it seems Bianca had just had enough of Janet’s unavailability, and when her ‘just dropped in with a bottle of wine…. hint, hint, let’s talk about us’ didn’t work; and even though Janet tried desperately to reach out in her somewhat awkward Janetty style when she realised how monumentally she’d fucked things up, Bianca said, “It’s too late now, Janet,” handed her keys back, walked out of the office (yes… the office… what a bloody brutal place to break up with someone!), and that was the end of that. So while my straight ‘honourary lesbian’ friend was right – at least they’re not dead – it’s yet another lesbian relationship that ends in heartache.

But Bianca…

And sure, some people will point to the fact that LOTS of straights have sad endings, and break up and it’s part of the drama and conflict that is television, and that’s true. But look HOW MANY happy, healthy relationships they get to see in amongst all the shit ones. They have some pretty special, shiny diamonds as well. We get so very few – the ratios are heavily stacked against us, and my heart hurts. I loved these two, I loved these two together, I loved what they gave US, and I loved the beautiful visibility and representation we received on a mainstream FTA non-commercial television station.

So I guess, here I am, on behalf of the 50,000 Australian lesbians and countless others around the world who watch Janet King, asking politely for the ABC to renew the show for a series 4, and allow us the grace and dignity of seeing Janet patch things up with her Bianca, and allow that happy, healthy relationship to develop to bring a diversity of sexualities to our screens.

No, sadly I look nothing like Salma Hayek.

Okay, so while I’m still coming to terms with the break-up, and so far no series 4 renewal announcement, and therefore no hope of a possible reconciliation (although in my heart of hearts, I feel that if the show is renewed, they’ll be taking Janet in another direction, and there’ll be no place for Bianca, so get ready to accept that this may well have been the last we see of the lovely Inspector-Sergeant (don’t think they could make up their minds) Bianca Grieve. Anita Hegh – you did her proud!), it’s time to recap the final episode. But to be perfectly honest, I don’t really have it in me. It seemed a bit rushed, a lot of stuff left quite up in the air, a lot of loose ends… but I guess that does bode well to lead into another series if it’s green-lit.

So, nutshell:

The dead guy was Flynn.

Foster got done for his murder.

Graham’s case was thrown out, and he walked out of Janet’s house and her life. She was reconciled to the fact that she probably wouldn’t see him again for another 5 years.

Faulks’ MDMA precursor shipment was seized. He was not happy.

Zoe ended up being a drug cheat when she won her medal. She died from heart failure brought on the use of PEDs. Janet kind of knew this was on the cards, but for some reason didn’t call an ambulance when she went to visit her.

Faulks found out about Richard spying on him and was about to do something really bad to him. Cops and Janet arrived just in time.

Faulks was laundering his cash through Switzerland and France, and bringing it back into the country without paying tax. That was how the NCC was going to get him.

Faulks couldn't be charged because Owen and ASIO and counter-terrorism something.

Pearl is playing soccer at a soccer school.

Lucy and Nate Baldwin nothing.

Lina decided to forget the Bar exam so she and Andy can be a happy (straight) family and share childcare duties and eat Thai food (not bitter that the heteros got the happy ending but the woman still had to choose between motherhood and career because gee whizzy imagine in this day and age wanting both…).

Janet went to see Owen to say, you think you won but we weren’t even running the same race. I’ll see Faulks in prison. I’m playing the long game. Owen squirmed in his (no doubt) designer undies. (That was epic Janet!)

AND…

The lesbians broke up. Of course. No happy ending. The lesbians were both sad. All the lesbians on social media were devastated. I cried for actual reals.

End of Series.

There was the classic ‘superhero’ pose as the upholders of truth, justice and the Australian way are left standing on the steps out the front of the NCC as Darren Faulks walks free giving them the bird as he goes.

Slipped through our fingers like that green slime we played with as kids.

There was a very sad and wistful look from Janet at Bianca… Bianca half smiles back. Some people think this means hope. I think it means, “I love you, but I also get that I’ll never come first, and there’s no hard feelings but I have to walk away.”

Such was the level of angst, lesbians everywhere were finding it impossible to keep it together.

Even when she’s not Lexa she cries in lesbian

Alex Vause is crying

.

Cosima is crying

Arizona is definitely crying

Franky is devastated

Santana is so upset she’s crying four times.

I don’t know who she is, but she’s not a happy camper.

Delphine is so wracked with sobs she has to leave the room.

Lena is so numb she needs her Stef to comfort her.

You can see exactly how she feels.

Piper is outright sobbing.

EVEN PENNY WONG IS FIGHTING BACK TEARS.

And P!nk is a mere ‘honourary lesbian’ and she can’t hold it back either…

And that’s the end of Janet King for 2017. Fingers crossed we get to do it again in 2018, but with Janet’s happy ending with Bianca as part of the endgame.