Sunday, December 28, 2008

Oh my goodness....I can't believe I haven't written in such a long time....don't time fly when your losing your marbles...well.....here goes.....Hallelujah, I am finished juggling this holiday craziness while recovering from my surgery. I took some time out to walk through my garden today. I am trapped in this cyclical kind of nausea and it’s depressing me. But even in the winter bleakness there are things I can do to prepare a garden for the new life of spring. Ah spring….rebirth! Working in my garden is a preferred pastime, because of the connection to the earth and the meditative feeling I have when I dig and divide and plant, and also because of the silence. It is a funny thing because growing up on a farm, I hated doing everything that I now cherish.When I say silence, I don't mean a complete lack of sound. In fact I am not quite sure what a complete lack of sound is like. It seems like there is always some kind of sound, even at the quietest of times. If nothing else, there is the sound of my breath and the beating of my heart to keep me company and remind me of the gift of life I enjoy each and every moment.I am so protective of my alone time...I mean just me. I love hugging and I love to have someone close to me, holding my hand and just sharing space with me, but I need my alone time. It has become the balm to my soul.In a world of constant noise, traffic, airplanes, constant bombardment of machine sounds and the like, it is no wonder that people feel stressed and anxious. I don’t even think they even know why. Alternatively, most people relax when they can get to places that are quieter and more natural, where one can hear the breeze rustling the leaves in the trees, and the sounds of water flowing over stones in a softly flowing stream. I find myself walking on the beach a lot to hear that calming rhythm. I even dream of walking on the beach a lot and I find it can be very soothing to me.I believe the reason for that is that such sounds are natural and in tune with the Earth, unlike many of the sounds of bustling human activity.One of the nicest things about relaxing sounds is that they allow me to access the most important aspect of silence, the silence within. That silence inside that allows me to actually hear my own thoughts and receive insights can leave me feeling not only relaxed, but more alive and in step with the planet. The word silence comes from the word silentium, which means repose, to sit down, to rest. So, maybe silence is not so much the lack of sound as it is the kind of sounds that give us rest.So, my unsolicited advice: the next time you find yourself feeling a bit anxious without an obvious reason, stop and listen to the sounds around you. If you are not happy with what you hear, find a way to enjoy the sounds that do make you feel peaceful and relaxed. Take an early walk in the park…go with your dog if you have one, dig in your own garden, or my absolute favorite….go FISHING! Or sit on your porch listening to the wind blow through the trees, or maybe put a waterfall or ocean wave CD on to play, and enjoy the sounds of silence. Sometimes it is then that I hear what my heart has been trying to tell me……….smooches