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Do you want to be one of those happy, respected people who everyone seems to love? While you can't guarantee anyone changing their feelings about you, you can try to make yourself more lovable.

Steps

1

Realize from the beginning that you cannot make another person love you. This is essential to understand before setting about persuading people you're worth the effort of love. Second, understand that you're not going to benefit from chasing love. Rather, this has to be about you being your best self and caring for people you know and meet because you want to be that way. Don't ever fall for someone to an extent that you start doing everything for them, remember self respect comes first.

2

Understand that being lovable is not about being popular. Do not confuse the two concepts. They are worlds apart.

Part 1

Being an Approachable Person

1

Have an open, loving attitude. If you want to be loved, love everyone. Be nice, gentle and friendly toward everyone. No one can find fault with the kindest person. Speak in a gracious way. Be respectful to all.

Smile and be approachable. Be full of compassion. Even if a person says or does things with which you do not agree, be compassionate and try to stand in their shoes to reach an understanding of their motivations. Practice this regularly until it becomes a habit.

Part 2

Interacting with Friendliness

1

Speak up and state your own values clearly. Live by your morals and ideals. Do what you say. Always be learning.

2

Have time for others. The greatest thing you can give is your time and energy.

3

Be yourself. You want people to like you for who you are- not for who they think you are or represent.[1]

4

Have fun and relax. When you are around others, don't be uptight or nervous. Make sure other people around you see that you are relaxed and happy, not stressed out and upset. If people think you are carefree they will want to be around you more than if they think you are nervous about everything and this will make them love.

5

Be honest without being rude. Be authentic when you compliment and actually mean what you say. If there isn't anything nice to say, you could say nothing. However, even better is to challenge yourself to find at least one good thing about someone that you can say without making it up. Give it a try––it'll help you see the better side of everyone you meet.[2]

6

Give people their space. Clinginess terrifies people because they are being made to feel responsible for the person clinging. This isn't lovable behavior––it's a form of suffocation. If you find yourself being clingy, remind yourself of the value of being independent and giving people the best of yourself rather than trying to hide under the shelter of another.

7

Be someone prepared to give second chances. Don't judge others for their mistakes; there but for the grace of circumstance go you. Always remind yourself that the position someone is in could very well be the position you're in some day thanks to the vagaries of life, luck and coincidences. Be understanding, be ready to investigate deeply and be ready to forgive.

Remember this: If you want your friends and close ones to love you when you're unlovable, the same is expected of you for them. It's only fair.

8

Have trust and faith. Send love out there to others. Have the faith it will come back to you from the persons who matter.

Part 3

Taking Good Care of Yourself

1

Look after yourself first so that you can look after others well. If you have a lot of emotional baggage and inner turmoil, you won't be able to inspire, help or support others because you're not in the right place. On the other hand, if you take care of yourself first, there will be room for caring for others as well.[3]

Self sacrifice may seem noble but it comes at the expense of expressing yourself properly. It can lead to resentment, bitterness and feeling unfulfilled. Seek a balance between being there for others and being attentive to yourself too.

2

Surround yourself with what makes you happy. Consider your body a sponge absorbing everything around you. You can only have so much happiness before you will start to give it off to those around you. Same with anger, sadness, jealousy. It is a way to keep your emotions balanced.

This doesn't mean dismissing those you care about when they're down and going through hard times. People need support during such times, and their negativity is temporary and does not define them. Be helpful and kind, help them through these times by letting them know they have your support.

3

Realize that you determine your limits. These are limits that others see and respect. If your limits are low, people will cross that line and respect you less for that. If you want people to love you, love yourself in order to be lovable.[4]

People can't love you if you don't love yourself.

4

Be confident. When someone has low self-esteem, people usually don't want love them. If people realize that you are confident, while at the same time being selfless they will want to be around you.[5]

5

Don't try to be lovable. This may sound like a bizarre ending to an article about which getting people to love you is the very essence. But the point is this––you can be as lovable as you can be but what matters is the why. If you are being lovable because that is your intrinsic nature, your dearest desire and your thing that you want to put out there into the world, then it's authentic, good and self-nurturing. On the other hand, if you're doing this to be liked, to be loved in turn, then you're chasing validation rather than expressing yourself genuinely. Be careful not to get this motivation mixed up and most of all, don't be a sucker for needing validation from other people.Remind yourself often that this is about you being you, not about garnering the world's love in return. Love will come but it's not the end point for your exercise in being a lovable human being.

Be lovable in order to express your true self, not to gain accolades and win friends.

Realize that even with the kindest, most caring intent in the world, you will still rub someone people the wrong way and some people will just dislike you, because they can or want to.

Community Q&A

You are most likely not going to like this answer for now, which is a question right back at you -- just why do you want every guy in school to chase you? You are a human being with abilities and talents way above been chased like a baboon through the trees. Focus on self-improvement, working out what you want to do with your life to better this world and working on shoring up a happy and healthy life for yourself. The right partner will come into your life when you're ready for it. In the meantime, enjoy many friendships and be a friendly person but don't sell yourself short or cheap.

Be confident and sociable, take care of your appearance, and talk to other guys and girls. This will catch your crush's attention and before you know it, he'll want to date you. If not, it's his/her loss, not yours.

Don't be afraid to let go -- you cannot make a person love you. You can only instill respect and encourage desire through being the person you truly are. If this person doesn't feel lucky to have you, then he isn't worth your time and he doesn't deserve you. You are not annoying -- you are truly magnificent and you need to tell yourself that all the time and not let his being annoyed get you down at all.

If it's only one person, don't worry about it. You can't make everyone happy. But if you're getting the same reaction from multiple people, you should try assessing your character. Ask someone you trust for genuine feedback on your personality.

If you don't know what to say, then say "thanks but no thanks at the moment" is the right answer. You are still conflicted and need time and space to think it through. If you want to clarify that you need time to think more about what happened between you two, that's cool but don't give him false hopes.

Is it true that being available all the time for someone will make me less important to him?

Community Answer

In most cases it makes him believe that he is really important to you, and he might be tempted to take you for granted. People aren't always available for others who are less important than they are, and if you you give him the impression that he is more important than he actually is, he will probably believe it, so unless he is equally as available to you, you should slow down a bit.

Not everybody hates you. Does your family hate you? Even if they did, God still loves you. You can't MAKE anyone like you, but you can begin to make things right by apologizing for anything you've done to hurt or offend the people in question.

So I met this girl, and I'm dying for her to like me more and get to know me. What can I do?

Community Answer

Well you could always 'accidently' have your friends ask her out for you. Say your mates were asking you if you like someone, and you say something like 'maybe' or 'why do you need to know that I like someone?' Not in a rude way though, this could bring them to asking you if you like this crush of yours. If you drop a hint, it could lead them to asking her out and getting you both together!

Tips

Get an Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr or Facebook account to show the best parts of you.

Some people just don't love any one. Don't let it get you down if some people still don't like you. There are many more good friends out there.

There are people who value their personal space, do not intrude on their alone time if they are pulling away from you as you draw near.

Try to be there for the people who were always there for you.

Don't have a selfish, mean, self-centered manner. People won't like it and won't like you.

Try to be honest with yourself, and to others.

Don't forget those who helped you, don't cheat those who trusted you, and don't hate those who love you.

Don't try to be trendy; just do what you do best and that's your personality!

Warnings

Avoid telling lies. Be a genuine person.

Don't be a bully, treat people as you would want to be treated.

Don't change who you are just so someone will like you. It's not worth it if they don't like you for you.

Don't be a pushover. Even though you are being nice, friendly and gentle, do not let people walk all over you.

Don't be a people pleaser. If you accept, love and respect yourself unconditionally then appropriate people, not everyone, will love you. In turn, this sensible approach will help to make you a happier person.

Don't suck up to people if they're giving you hints to stay away. There are plenty of other people who will willingly accept you.

Don't put yourself first all the time; consider others and see how you can be useful to them.

Don't shout at people, or say they are stupid and belittle them if they don't understand something straight away. Be patient with everyone.

To make people love you, smile when you’re around others to give off a positive and friendly vibe. You should also try to make time for those close to you, which will show you care about them. In order to let other people see who you really are, live your life according to your values and always be ready to say what they are, such as kindness or treating others with respect. When you’re talking to friends or family, always be honest in your compliments, which will show people you value them. For example, try to find something positive to say about a person, even if you find them hard to deal with. While it’s important to spend time with other people, make sure you look after yourself as well, since you won’t be able to be there for someone else if you’ve got your own emotional baggage. For tips on how to respond lovingly when someone makes a mistake, read on!

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wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. To create this article, 136 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. Together, they cited 5 references. This article has also been viewed 562,070 times.