Randy Travis had a night out that ended up costing him around $22,000, a tidy sum of money for a guy with no wallet…Or pants. Not even a pair of cowboy boots. The two time Grammy winner for Christian music, now has exactly the same number of arrests this year. We’re not sure how the evening began for Travis, or how he lost his clothes; we do know the first 911 call came from a convenience store clerk, after he tried to buy a pack of cigarettes wearing only that which God originally gave him. He was unable to make that purchase, for a variety of reasons that we can only try to deduce:

Randy was unable to produce a picture I.D.

Randy had left his wallet in his other pants.

Randy was in blatant violation of the store’s ‘No shirt, no shoes, no service’ policy

Not surprisingly, the second 911 call was soon to follow. The caller reported a man lying naked in the roadway (perhaps from hypothermia or possible nicotine withdrawal). Authorities found him cut and bruised a short distance away from the wreckage of his truck.

To cap off the evening Mister Travis (whose albums include ‘Worship & Faith’ and ‘Glory Train’) threatened to “shoot and kill” the arresting officers. So in addition to the DWI charges, he’s also been charged with ‘retaliation,’ a crime with the potential punishment of up to a 10 years as well as the $10,000 fine. All in all, some pretty ‘non-Christian’ behavior.

I suppose there’s a possibility that Randy was driving along in his truck, and the rapture happened to him. He found himself raptured out of his clothing, but failed to float all the way out of the vehicle by the time it crashed. Once he realization of the end times which were set upon us, decided have one last smoke. I’d probably want one too, under those circumstances.