I was advising planning, and surely things prolly aren't so bad that you would quit before finding a new job.

Longer duration between jobs is frowned upon by employers unless you can explain with a reasonable excuse.. you can't say I didn't like working with the people or company. You don't talk bad about your current/previous employers.. makes you sound bitter and tough to work with.

How does one accomplish that Sane? Not work when there is work to be done? serious question!

That's the catch... you always work, 24 hours 7 days a week. You are always available to everyone. But now your work spreads thin and it feels as if you are not working at all

__________________
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"Kisi ne sahi kaha zindagi kutti cheez hai. You live life without a care in the world not realizing that life is building a heavy load of trash that it dumps on you one fine day, breaking your back." - saneless

You are unhappy but you hardly work. So good compensation for minimum work and come and go as you please.
After all those years, lethargy has set good and solid.
Do not feel like working hard again, which a new job will require.
You are unhappy but you can make others unhappy too.

If it is not going to get better at work, at what point will you/your friend decide that enough is enough?

that was my first glance response. It is about a balance between what you want and what you get. If enough is enough then quit!

on the other hand, I am so jealous of people who show as if they are working hard but are just coasting! Skill I want to learn too....

I think the trick is to just do only enough - keyword being thrown around is minimum mandatory keep close to your boss and make positive whining noises about how much work you have and find out boss's pain points & focus on them.....

A wise recruiter once said to me - You are not changing your job! You are changing your manager.

In most cases of job change, the candidate is changing his/her manager. A company might be really good, but God save you from an asshole manager. I have experienced this couple of times.

So, I repeat - No one is happy in his/her job unless they are the CEO of the company. But then again, the board of directors and the stock market is on your ass 24/7. Or in a private unlisted company the investors are on your ass.

So, yes try to find what makes you happy at work. Is it the work that makes you happy? Is it the colleagues and team that keep your spirits high? etc.

But again, having worked so many years, I have realised that nothing makes me happy other than the paycheck. Rest all is non-sense and the chewtiya Facebook and self-help book type non-sense.

No job is perfect. Time is running out as you are not getting younger. So your aim should be to make as much money as you can as you will need every penny of it when you retire. No one cares if you were happy in your job or not when it comes to paying bills and medical expenses, especially in your old age.

Do some side projects - if you are into software - or contribute to open source for job satisfaction. That will make you feel happy perhaps, but at the job just do whatever is needed and keep your asshole manager happy. Get paid well. Period.

I would hate to be able to stay home. I mean, it gets so mundane. non-stop cleaning, cooking, chauffeuring kids around; I am by no means saying its bad. Its just not my cup of tea. Doing all these everyday, all day. I do this everyday but not all day. Imagine if thats what should be done every single day?!

Echarcha has a point. Perhaps it all boils down to how much money one makes. There is no way around this manager (friend says). how much are we willing to put up with this? Hopefully one day we can answer this.

For now, stay out unless we get a job that pays 25K or more above what we are currently making.

I would hate to be able to stay home. I mean, it gets so mundane. non-stop cleaning, cooking, chauffeuring kids around; I am by no means saying its bad. Its just not my cup of tea. Doing all these everyday, all day. I do this everyday but not all day. Imagine if thats what should be done every single day?!

Echarcha has a point. Perhaps it all boils down to how much money one makes. There is no way around this manager (friend says). how much are we willing to put up with this? Hopefully one day we can answer this.

For now, stay out unless we get a job that pays 25K or more above what we are currently making.

I have worked for many many years now. What it all boils down to is - You never get everything you want. Heck, you should consider yourself lucky if you get 50% of what you want at the office.

Managers are all about kissing ass of their managers and the chain goes all the way up the ladder. Very few manage to not brown nose and keep some sense of dignity and be good leaders.

As for money, yes money is all important. I was in a job which was really fuck-all because the manager was a major league asshole. I mean he must have been part of the committee which came up with the word 'asshole'

But the pay was good. So I found happiness outside the office with good old friends and family.

In the end nothing else matters but money. Also, lot of people go crazy after promotions and shit. I give a damn. If I am not getting a good pay hike then I let my displeasure known and look for another job. Its the money. Period.

And when I realize that a colleague or a manager is an idiot, I dont bother correcting him nor do I feel depressed. I keep smiling because remember, keep smiling as the boss loves idiots

And never ever bother with things like "Shit I can do this better". Let your boss do what he thinks is right.. Let him fall on his face... Who cares?

Does he have a rich father/father-in-law to support him for the rest of his life ? If yes, then happiness, honor, job satisfaction are the deciding points. If not, then compromise and stay till a better opportunity arises.

Further, look back, were you ever 100% happy at the job ? If not, do the problems of those days appear as big today as they did then ? Probably not. Similarly, the problems of today may appear silly/bearable after a few years when you have progressed further.

__________________Nietzsche (1887) : God is deadGod (1900) : Nietzsche is dead -----------------------------------------
I will not be hurried and I will not be bullied

I have worked for many many years now. What it all boils down to is - You never get everything you want. Heck, you should consider yourself lucky if you get 50% of what you want at the office.

Managers are all about kissing ass of their managers and the chain goes all the way up the ladder. Very few manage to not brown nose and keep some sense of dignity and be good leaders.

As for money, yes money is all important. I was in a job which was really fuck-all because the manager was a major league asshole. I mean he must have been part of the committee which came up with the word 'asshole'

But the pay was good. So I found happiness outside the office with good old friends and family.

In the end nothing else matters but money. Also, lot of people go crazy after promotions and shit. I give a damn. If I am not getting a good pay hike then I let my displeasure known and look for another job. Its the money. Period.

And when I realize that a colleague or a manager is an idiot, I dont bother correcting him nor do I feel depressed. I keep smiling because remember, keep smiling as the boss loves idiots

And never ever bother with things like "Shit I can do this better". Let your boss do what he thinks is right.. Let him fall on his face... Who cares?

Thanks Sunit Bhau! This helps ... the kind of story I have, I need a private forum to discuss this :-)

After having worked for more than 2 decades, all that matters now is how much money you can make because I dont think everyone would like to keep working or worrying about income till they are old and really in need for a more relaxed life and routine.

So screw what your manager says, screw what he/she feels about you and just deliver what is asked for. Keep an eye on making maximum money out of your job as its tougher to make more in a job compared to a business. So if you have to say YES when it should be NO to your boss, just say YES. There is no pride lost in that. And you are not here to prove anything to anyone. As long as you are happy in your personal life outside office hours, its all that matters.

You may find this as defeatist, but its practical. I have not given up and do not take shit from managers, but my reaction and response have changed. Now I think of what alternatives I have, look for the best possible alternative and then change my manager (i.e. my job). Today we are really changing managers and not jobs. Our managers can make our break our career because despite all your efforts and short of you inventing a rocket there is nothing really that you can do to make you leap frog ahead.

So take it easy, think a lot and then take action. Just dont create fireworks at your office and just do what's right for you. Do not share your plans with anyone, dont share your feelings about your manager to anyone, dont say much. Listen more and then do what you have to.

After having worked for more than 2 decades, all that matters now is how much money you can make because I dont think everyone would like to keep working or worrying about income till they are old and really in need for a more relaxed life and routine.

So screw what your manager says, screw what he/she feels about you and just deliver what is asked for. Keep an eye on making maximum money out of your job as its tougher to make more in a job compared to a business. So if you have to say YES when it should be NO to your boss, just say YES. There is no pride lost in that. And you are not here to prove anything to anyone. As long as you are happy in your personal life outside office hours, its all that matters.

You may find this as defeatist, but its practical. I have not given up and do not take shit from managers, but my reaction and response have changed. Now I think of what alternatives I have, look for the best possible alternative and then change my manager (i.e. my job). Today we are really changing managers and not jobs. Our managers can make our break our career because despite all your efforts and short of you inventing a rocket there is nothing really that you can do to make you leap frog ahead.

So take it easy, think a lot and then take action. Just dont create fireworks at your office and just do what's right for you. Do not share your plans with anyone, dont share your feelings about your manager to anyone, dont say much. Listen more and then do what you have to.

I understand that sometimes issues like your H1B visa or Green Card processing etc can hamper your progress and you have to stay in your job, but then think of it as a temporary obstacle because immigration processing is not in your hands and some day you will get out of it. So till then grin and bear it. Or take the giant leap to go back to India or immigrate elsewhere like Canada or Australia or New Zealand and start your life there rather than wait in an unending line here.