Before we get to the part where we tell them that everything they are doing here is wrong, let’s reveal our scintillating relationship with True Blood. Lorenzo got into it a couple of years ago, even though he admitted with every discussion that the show was campy bordering on crappy. It didn’t matter. He was hooked. Tom sat down once, his curiosity piqued, and couldn’t make it through ten minutes.

“Jesus! How can you WATCH that?”

“Oh shut up and watch your Doctor Who DVDs, nerd.”

Marriage.

Lorenzo’s pretty much past his True Blood addiction and Tom will point and laugh at anyone in the comments section who attempts to tell him he should watch it. Onward, bitches.

SHE: Is wearing one of the worst Frankendresses we’ve seen in some time. It looks like this dress was designed by a 5-year-old, on scrap paper, with a Sharpie. It’s possible that a world-class clothes-wearer could make a dress like this work (possibly a Swinton or Blanchett), but part of Anna’s appeal is that she’s kind of real-world approachable and charming, and even at her best, she tends to look a little askew. She’s not preternaturally polished and poised. In other words, this dress is bad, but it may just be a case of it being outside her wheelhouse. The hair and makeup are pretty, though. The shoes are generic. Score: 5/10. Girl, that really isn’t your dress. It might not be anybody’s.

HE: Has GOT to stop trolling the CVS aisles for his hair color. Moyer, you’re a TV star. If you’re paying anything less than 300 dollars a session to have your hair colored, you’re being cheap – and it shows. Either that color’s coming straight out of a bottle, or you’re paying a technician who’s never heard of highlights or lowlights. The suit, on the other hand, is great. Oh sure, the hems are a skosh long and anytime someone wears a black dress shirt without a tie, we’re going to think of mafiosos or bouncers at a strip club, but it suits him, for the most part. Score: 7/10. We’re being kind because we like the suit but that hair color should really get him an automatic 1/10. Fix that mess, Missy.

Combined Score: 6/10. At first we thought we were being too harsh on these two, but if anything, that’s a pretty decent score, considering her dress and his hair.

She is pregnant, and somehow that gawd-awful dress makes her look like she has a small waist while still leaving room for the pregnant belly. That is the only reason I can come up with why she wore that thing.

Oh so glad I saw this before I commented that the dress makes her look chunky. Points awarded for interesting maternity wear quickly taken back for this being a hideous mess of a dress. Though, yes, I’d love to see it on Swinton and see what we all think then.

Call me Bee

She seems to be in that awkward stage where you don’t look quite pg, but just look thick (the waist is the first to go before the belly shows up.) I, too, was thinking she was looking a bit chunky…But yeah–it’s an ugly dress no matter.

piecesofconfetti

You can see her bump very clearly in other photos. I’d guess she’s about 5 or 6 months?

chelwi

I thought it was just a bad dress + unflattering angles, but looking again, I can definitely see the bump. She should get points for not holding her arm under it when she poses.

I don’t get his hair. Why doesn’t anyone close to him make it stop? It is so very obviously colored badly and probably at home in the kitchen sink…is he working for free or something?
I like the dress a lot, but…yeah, I think you’re right, she never really looks awesome in anything.
His suit is really nice..!

Is the hair for the show? Maybe they want it to look bad? Just guessing since I have never watched true blood.

JosephLamour

Well he wasn’t supposed to age past 32 for the show so clearly they cast the wrong person. But I guess they think a 30something still has his natural un-grey hair even though Moyer is getting to be as wrinkly as Mel Gibson. Which is okay cause Steve’s still super cute, but bad for casting an eternally 32 year old person.

hahaha! I was thinking the same thing. Poor guy looks like he’s got the Bosley Hair System/Nice n’ Easy combo going. And, I know from bad hair color. Then again, I can always shave mine off and start from scratch which Bill obviously cannot do.

jblaked

hahaha! I was thinking the same thing. Poor guy looks like he’s got the Bosley Hair System/Nice n’ Easy combo going. And, I know from bad hair color. Then again, I can always shave mine off and start from scratch which Bill obviously cannot do.

Judy_S

Actually, that dress is such a bizarro mess that I think it IS her dress. As you say, she is “kind of real-world approachable and charming, and even at her best, she tends to look a little askew.” This dress is a little askew. She brings the charm and approachability which it lacks.

The asymmetrical design kind of makes her boobs look lopsided. And I don’t think any woman would want that.

StelledelMare

The show itself is terribly campy but that somehow makes it fun to watch as a whole. I don’t even bother trying to really look closely at the writing or anything like that because the whole thing is just so funny in the way that it tries so hard. At least it’s better than the just plain terrible book series it’s based off of. Hate her dress. He looks meh.

I am with you on the titscrepancy – I’m not sure when it stopped happening.

CassieLee22

HATE the unevenness, so not working that dress

Anathema_Device

You’re being kind, not harsh. That dress is awful. The worst kind of homemade looking. Agree with you on his look. Would you two please have a chat with my sweet husband about the no-tie with a suit look? He does that every so often and I cringe.

You know how diplomatic I can be, m’dear. Send him my way and I’ll show him the art of the necktie. Hell, he can even borrow one of my cravats!

Anathema_Device

Thanks! He has lots of lovely ties and has to wear a suit and tie to work every day, so he just ditches it when he can. I totally understand that desire, but the open collar shirt with a suit look isn’t my favorite. I cannot criticize him, as he stood by me though all manner of ’80s and ’90s fashion horrors.

Sounds like you really found a winner. And I can understand the desire myself. I had one of those jobs too back in the day. Perhaps the Joys of Cravats needs to be explained. May I suggest a little company in SF? http://www.ceravelo.com? They can be really stylish, while allowing the collar to be open, and are much more comfortable than a tie.

Jesus…that dress is a hot mess. He looks like he just got out of work…your score is quite generous.

zmayhem

I’m willing to spot him an extra point for wearing an actual three-piece suit, vest and all. If he’d added a watch fob and, say, his grandfather’s pocket watch, to the vest, I’d have made it 2.5.

His hair is just inexplicably sad, though — and, really, as a drugstore hair color aficionado (desperate times), even Clairol is no excuse. It’s not that hard to find a shade that would look halfway decent with his skin tone. As good as a $300 job, no way. But much, much better than that? Good God, yes.

mjude

TLO says: “Has GOT to stop trolling the CVS aisles”…. LMFAO

sherrietee

I was the same as Tom. I tried to watch True Blood because I enjoyed the books as fun little reads. The show was ridiculous and I couldn’t get beyond the first few minutes of the episode. I need sex in my shows to actually have a point and purpose, not just because they can. (But I am not a 13 year old boy, so it’s kind of understandable.)

As for the clothes up there? That dress is beyond unfortunate and just downright hideous.

Ogden1990

The sex is what you found ridiculous? All that other freaky stuff going on and it was the sex that made you change the channel?
Ditto on the dress.

peppepp

She is pregnant, but that is no excuse. She needs to call up Reese Witherspoon and borrow some of her stunning maternity gowns. Once the show started to seriously deviate from the books, I lost my interest. The books are just too darn good.

Maybe is the hair color for the part? Like I’m frozen in vampire time, so it can never age? Can’t say highlights would make sense and sun kissed wouldn’t really make sense (read vampire).

sekushinonyanko

Other characters seem to be allowed much more nuanced haircolor.

Jessica O’Connell

“Oh shut up and watch your Doctor Who DVDs, nerd.” Ah, love. :-D. Anyway, I’d be watching Doctor Who with Tom over suffering through a minute of True Blood any day! If that makes me a nerd, I’m proud to be one! 😀

Also, they both look awful. And is he a trillion years older than her or does he just look it?

Hermione_Granger

I’d start watching Doctor Who if I could watch it with Tom!

Jessica O’Connell

You should watch it in general! Also, from your username I assume that you’re a Potterhead and Doctor Who features MANY actors and actresses from the Harry Potter movies, including David Tennant, who played Barty Crouch, Jr. in GOF, who plays The Doctor for a few seasons. I highly recommend it to any fantasy or sci-fi lovers!

Also, LOVE your username. If you couldn’t tell, I’m a big lover of Harry Potter as well 🙂

cam_lo

I’m sorry. coming from someone who’s watched “straw dogs” upwards of 11 times, I didn’t realize we needed any reason other than Alex Skarsgard to watch anything, no matter how horrendous and campy it is.

I defy anyone to not love Russell Edgington. His Nightly News speech makes me howl to this day and I am so excited he is coming back for the new season.

Yes, the show is over the top and silly but it’s also hilarious and exactly what I need after a season of Game of Thrones. Also, Eric is delicious, delicious snarky eye candy.

rumcg66

I do my own color and random strangers frequently tell me they love my hair. So really, there is just no reason for him to look like that.

And I can’t even with that dress.

DaveUWSNYC

Your faithful bitter kittens demand 1/10 for Lord Clairol!

Susan Crawford

I can’t for the life of me figure out WHY one boobal panel is slightly higher and a different shape than the other. That makes no sense, does not compute, and this dress should be shot into outer space, or given to Dr. Who to throw into the laundry bin in the Tardis.

Now that is out of the way, I will never be able to look at Moyer again without seeing his face on a box of hair dye. (At least he didn’t opt for that weird reddish tone that so many guys turn to. That’s a small mercy. Because once men go down THAT road, white patent leather shoes with a matching belt and bolo ties are not far behind.)

I think Ms. Anna definitely needs a TLo intervention – she just can’t seem to get it right on the carpet, can she?

(I used to watch the really OLD Dr. Who – where the entire special effects budget was about twenty pounds, and everything was totally cheesy, and the Daleks were hilarious, and it was wonderful! Have never gotten into the sexed-up new versions, though. And I don’t watch True Blood either.

I am so booked already with Mad Men, Revenge, Downton Abbey, and a whole bunch of ancient British comedies, not to mention waiting for the next season of PR and catching up with every minute of Gilmore Girls and Parenthood . . . OK, I have no life. It’s official. (And, since I’m an honest bitter kitten, I am also obsessed with Storage Wars. There. I’ve admitted I am powerless.)

I find something totally off about a guy in a three-piece suit with his shirt collar open. He needs either to bag the vest or find a tie.

muzan-e

True Blood and Game of Thrones are our sit-down-and-watch-them-together-goddammit shows. I mean, there are other things we watch – he has his anime, I have my staggering Homeland obsession. He has The Mentalist, I had Lost – except for the final season, which became a together! show until he couldn’t take me shrieking at the television screen any longer.

But these are our Together shows, and it’s largely because they’re soap-operas. Campy as hell – larger than life – scenery thoroughly chewed – pants dropped – asses bared – soap opera. Which is infinitely more fun to watch with good company and a bowl of popcorn – for excited munching and frustrated flinging. Also, hard liquor.

quiltrx

Besides the color, he needs to do something about the Shemp Howard haircut.

Honestly, as horrible as his hair color is, I think it’s for the show. His natural color is much lighter, not blonde but light brown. But, I wonder if his hair just doesn’t take color well. Flipping through the channels a couple of days ago, I ran across a movie, Prince Valiant, with a young Stephen Moyer (and Katherine Heigl) in it. His hair color was horrible in it too. Seriously, do a google image search.

MilaXX

Yes it’s for the show but considering he has to live with it in real life he really should invest in getting it done more realistically.

BrooklynBomber

“Jesus! How can you WATCH that?”
“Oh shut up and watch your Doctor Who DVDs, nerd.”
Marriage.

So true. Around here you can substitute the 11,000th rerun of Men in Black for True Blood, and ANTM for Dr. Who, but the conversation is the pretty much the same.
As for the matter at hand, I thought “Lady Clairol” referred to her because I always think she’d look so much better as a brunette, but now I see what you mean about him. Yikes. He’s got to stop looking at Ronald Reagan as a role model.
The dress is almost interesting, but there are so many places where it goes wrong. The length, the asymmetry, the sparkles… you said it: designed by a 5 year old.

JasonKL

That man’s hair must be the elephant in every room he enters. The haircut looks like straight out of that Hair Cuttery in the strip mall between a chinese restaurant and a package store. And I’ve seen better dyejobs on 15 year old girls who color their hair themselves.

Tell me I’m not the only one who thinks his problem is a bad wig, not a bad dye job.

MilaXX

I think it’s a dye job so bad that it looks like a wig.

jw_ny

6/10 seems awfully high for these 2. Aside from his suit, there is little else that is good here.

unbornfawn

If anything you are being too kind.

elemspbee

She looks awful–the make up, the hair, the face. That dress is the last on the awful list. And the shoes! Her toes look like they are being strangled. She has looked tons better.He–the hair. icks.

MilaXX

Team Tom. I watched all of one ep and just could not get into this show.

Totally agree with the scores. Her dress is fug. I might have been more forgiving if it was lined all the way to the bottom. His hair is a crying shame. He looks like those senior citizens who colors their hair unnaturally dark thinking it makes them looks younger. It’s horrid.

rkdgal

The dye job is bad in and of itself, but it is made MUCH worse by the lack of corresponding color on his EYEBROWS! Every good home colorist knows that if you go to a radically different color than your natural look, you must consider dying your eyebrows a similar shade. Look back at his pic and imagine that, and it wouldn’t look nearly as bad.

kimmeister

Yes, it’s the color discrepancy with his brows that bothers me more than anything else!

RebeccaKW

I also don’t like that hair style on him. The terrible color isn’t helping. That dress is terrible, even on the model.

BigWhiteGrannyPanties

He needs his brows dyed if he’s going to have hair that dark. It is distracting. I love her gap -toothed smile.

LOL CVS… I was going to say she looks pregnant but apparently she is pregnant.. so it all makes sense now.

Lina_bee

I think he looks fine from the neck down, but then I’ve never seen him in anything and have no opinions on him whatsoever. I think her dress was probably pretty interesting on paper, but the execution fell really, really short. It would take some awesome styling and a kickass wearer to elevate it to what it ought to be. I totally agree about AP’s gritty realness being a bad match for it. However, from the side, her hair looks really nice & I love her earrings.

SpcilK

Totally agree about the hair, but he does wear his plaid suit better than Mr. Will Smith.

Jennifer Hofstetter

The dress looks pretty awful on the model, so I’ma say no one should wear the dress. Sometimes I wonder if he has to have his hair that starkly weird because of the show? Because on the show it tends to make him look paler? I don’t know, probably not.

Also the pattern of the suit reminds me of a schlubby defense attorney suit or something.

If he’s going to wear his hair so dark, he should look into getting his brows dyed to match. Those light colored brows are looking mighty skimpy, making him look even more washed out by that mop on his head.

TheOriginalLulu

That’s an ugly dress, no two ways about it. I might like it if the boob things on top were not so wonky and if the hem part of the lining were straight instead of jagged like that. I guess then it would be a boring dress. But this just looks kind of crappy.

The good news is she’s glowing and her little gap-toothed smile is adorable. Also, I really like her hair like that.

I love that you call him Miss Clairol. One of the guys at work was talking about maybe using some Grecian Formula or some shit on his grays and I told him that if he does, I’m nicknaming him Miss Clairol. You should have seen the look he gave me. Daggers, I tell you.

aimee_parrott

Gah. That dress is fug. I think his suit is nice, points for the vest, but the hair is an affront to my eyes. It’s just so solidly BROWN. Yuch.

Tom, my husband and I decided to give True Blood a try because it was HBO and we thought, how bad could it be? I don’t think we lasted 2 minutes. Dr. Who, though? That’s another story. I love the Doctor.

I misread the dress designer’s name as Rachel “Comedy”. Seriously, I had to go back and double check that I was not right when I looked more closely at the dress. If only I drank coffee I could blame not having had any yet, but no.

ThaliaMenninger

Her hair is lovely. His hair is awful.

Her dress is awful. His suit is okay.

I give her 4 points, all for her hair, and him 2 for the suit. That comes to an average of 3.

Aurumgirl

Swinton would look bad in that dress, too. It is a dress that cannot be owned.
On the other hand, bad as the dress is, Anna looks very happy (and a happy pregnant woman is lovely).

juanalalocasoyyo

I look at Anna Pacquin and I don’t see elegant, or hip or even quirky. Just cheap 🙁

nancymae

She’s pregnant, on a press tour and stuck doing the heavy lifting for a man who stubbornly refuses to fix his hair. Let’s give her a break this time.

CatherineRhodes

True Blood was kind of an interesting concept (vampires living in society as regular people) that the writers/producers completely blew in order to go for campy and flat-out dumb. Give that concept and cast to the writers of Mad Men or Breaking Bad and you would have had a terrific show.

I am not sure that the hair is entirely his fault – the “flat” color may be what the makeup artist requires for the show, to go against the super-pale skin and red-lined eyes. I only really get irked by it when he’s on the red carpet.

charlotte

The dress is awful, but not THE worst Frankendress. Thanks to TLo, I’ve seen worse.
His hair is ridiculous and I’ve never given True Blood a shot although my best friend is a fan.

AngelaGreen

Those two tend to skeeve me out as a couple (because I feel strongly that Moyer is skeevy), but the looks on their faces in that last photo is winning as all get-out.

KathKo

I couldn’t stand more than a few episodes of this show.
I’m not a prude but does those people ever do anything beside shagging in that show ?
Just stick to Dr Who, Tom, it’s the smart choice…

janetjb

Hideous dress, but her hair and makeup are lovely. 5/10
Hideous hair, but nice suit. 5/10

gabbilevy

She dyes his hair in the bathtub with leftover prop blood.

jessicasac

Someone very thin, tall, and elegant could wear that dress. He looks ridiculous, feeling formal enough for a vest but not a tie???

DCSheehan

J’adore that suit. So rarely see a male star in a suit and go ‘want that’ but I am wanting that suit like crazy. But I can’t disagree with the mark down over his hair. It’s like a bad wig.

Monabel

I rather like the top two thirds of this dress. It goes to pieces as it approaches the hem.

eight_of_nine

I couldn’t care less about King Beeeeel’s hair, he is looking mighty fine in that suit.

Qitkat

Very nice plaid suit.
The dress however looks like something I’d carry my veggies in from the market.

formerlyAnon

I won’t argue with your scoring.

At this point, I have to think he just doesn’t care if his hair color looks natural. Or even that it’s dragging him down, making him look like that odd math teacher whose hair color made him look pale, sallow, and older than his age.

Nonnah

Maybe his hair is silver. Klye MacLachlan’s hair always looked home dyed and a bit unnatural.

guest2visits

She looks good; and I like the way the swiss dot portion of the dress fits her neck and bodice. But the rest of the dress just
doesn’t look right, maybe too snug and the asymmetry on top doesn’t work at all.
Agree completely about the hair coloring; his eyebrows and his hair belong to two different guys.

Pregnant or no, that is one fugity fug dress. It’s giving her a bad case of lopsided boobs. Dude, please stop with the home hair coloring. Don’t you own a mirror? Or have friends that will sit you down and tell you the truth? Nice suit, though.

I think you two have been too harsh! Think about fit, makeup, hairstyle, etc. This too don’t look that bad! In fact, I think they are cute. I give them a 7 overall.

Bozhi

Love her hair but hate that dress. It even makes her look fat. You guys are right about his hair.

ccm800

Sweet jeebus THAT HAIR? Xtina has better hair than this. Rhianna has better hair than this. Seriously could be the worse hair in showbiz. If ever there was a WTF.. THIS HAIR is a WTF to the umteenth power. Oh and his pants are a wrinkly mess.

iamtrue2bill

IMHO, it would behoove you to take a look at Mr. Moyer’s bio and see what a generous, kind, and incredibly terrific actor and humanitarian he is. The comments from those who have worked with him, past and present, are nothing but rave reviews. He is known not only to be one of the most professional and competent film actors, but also a major positive influence on a set, one who makes everyone comfortable and relaxed. He has friends world-wide, and takes part in many humanitarian efforts and events. I think your comment about someone who you actually know nothing about is disingenuous and rude.

pepper76

I don’t like the dress to begin with, but I think it would work much better on someone with no boobs.

iamtrue2bill

I would like to add that, not only am I a fan of TrueBlood, but I am also a fan of Stephen Moyer, and Anna Paquin. Of course she’s pregnant. For those who didn’t know, it’s darn obvious from these photos. I agree that Mr. Moyer’s hair doesn’t look very good in brightly lit photos while he is filming the show, due to the color they use for his vampire character, since the lighting is always dim and often bluish in tone, his scenes being at night. I happen to love the 3 piece suit wih the open shirt. And the color is great. His hair is naturally light brown/sandy colored, so his eyebrows are not dyed, but colored temporarily for filming only. Anna is a fan of edgy, new, and different fashion, not the predictable, run of the mill styles. I happen to like the dress overall, except for the length. On her,it’s just an inch or two too long. She has great legs. They are starting the last month of shooting for this season, and both are pretty tired – they most likely worked all day. Nonetheless, they look very happy and they are a very good looking couple. If you look at candid photos of them, they both dress very well in a casual, Venice Beach style, and Stephen’s hair is very attractive. So please take these photos in with that background in mind. Yes, he is approx. 10 years older than his character, and the overly dark hair is most likely done to give him a younger look on the show. Take a look at some episodes from Season 4 on HBO on demand, and you will see how he looks on the show – He looks hot!

lilazander

My very first thought when I saw her: “frankendres”… You guys seriously influence people’s lives; I hope you are aware how much!

discordany

I’m not going to sit here and tell you to watch True Blood… don’t do it. It can be addictive as shit, but that’s about it. I am, however, going to recommend the books. Still ridiculously addictive, and not terribly sophisticated, but so much better.