Saturday, May 28, 2011

Questionable Citizenship?

Senator Dylan Cockatiel also appreciates the importance of sunflower seeds. As president, I would hope that you would be interested in ensuring that all birds receive the most appropriate treats. And plenty of them! I am beginning to wonder, however, if you are truly an American citizen. This is based on your less than perfect support of the No Bird Left Unscritched bill. I've heard you might have been born in New Mexico. A Concerned Citizen

Dear Concerned Citizen: I can assure you that I am as American as Old Glory herself. New Mexico is, in fact, a state within the United States, just as American as Ohio or Florida. Many people are under the mistaken impression that New Mexico is a foreign country, and I place the blame for their ignorance at the door of our corrupt left/right wing parties who've shackled themselves to special interests at the expense of this nation's children's education.

Senator Cockatiel and I have discussed the importance of variety in the seed diet many times. He and I are in complete agreement on the matter, and I am proud to work with him.