When Plook was a child in some whitetrash ghetto in Duarte, his mom had him convinced that a pot full of refried beans was better than the finest Vatican fondue. She was right, but he didn't believe her.

Pop Jim from his Pontiff Post high above the peasant willage below decreed that the subjects would be allowed beans in a pot and told it was a type of fondue, but the real fondue would only be allowed in the Papal Palace...then along came Fondue Hood who would raid the Papal Caravans to steal cheese from the rich and give it to the poor and they found fondue to be good...and they got less gas!...

Plook's dog, Gary, is lactose intolerant. He eats fondue, bloats up like a pufferfish and farts like a hurricane. Some people think he's chasing his tail. Nope. He's enjoying the high that comes from smelling processed fondue fumes. Plook does much the same when he rolls up the windows of his car. One of these days he's going to get a ticket for driving under the influence. It almost happened last week, except the officer passed out on the freeway when Plook rolled down his window and a passing eighteen-wheeler made a frisbee of him. Plook drove on, snickering like Snidely Whiplash.

Pope Jim was outraged when he heard of Fondue Hood and that all the finest cheeses in the realm were being given to the riff raff of the Kingdom...He put a price of a giant wedge of cheese on the head of he who was taking the cheese, thus the invention of the term Cheese Head. All those who sought to capture Fondue Hood would wear a triangle of cheese on their head, years later these people were known to migrate to Green Bay Wisconsin.

ZutboF got a cool job with the Canadian CIA, Canada needs a Central Intelligence Agency so they hire pretty boys and girls to try and attract intelligent people to work for them, and thus the Canadian Intelligence Attractors or CIA, unfortunately no one in Canada was attractive enough to attract anyone intelligent...

Zzziiinnnggg... ...that was a long way to go, but it came home in the end...

When Plook called a retard Ann Coulter, thousands of Special Olympics sponsors protested. They didn't want their special word sullied by association with that heartless bitch. Plook is about to embark on a long apology tour. Will he come to your town?

Plook heard strange noises emanating from his not-so-secret basement. He slid down the fire pole and slithered through the still-secret auxiliary air vent and came upon a truly bizarre scene: Ann Coulter was giving rim to Gary. Every ten seconds or so, Gary would bark out "Hootnanny!" After about fifteen repetitions of this, as Plook was turning around to slither back upstairs, Ann Coulter asked, "So will you talk to that pinko sumbitch upstairs about voting for Romney? I'll throw in a kilo of *SPAM*." "Hootnanny! Hootnanny! Hootnanny!" [We think that means "yes" in Gary-speak -- eds.] "You're such a good boy, Gary. You're mama's good boy. Yes, yes, you are. Here, lick the muffin. Lick it good. That's right. Oh!" Plook turned back around and watched. Sometimes he really envied that damn mutt.

Pope Jim upon realizing Ann Coulter was making the rounds bribing peoples dogs with large quantities of SPAM to get people to vote for Romnesia, regreted selling his controlling interest in the SPAM manufacturing plant...

Sam I Am is one of the lucky few to have powdered Coulter testicles in his personal medicine bag. These date back to the early Nineties, before Andrew Coulter had his sex change operation. Powdered Coulter testicles lend their holder great mana and bottomless reserves of testosterone..

Downer Mydnyte is throwing the frisbee for Gary. Gary thinks Downer is the greatest thing since injectible *SPAM*. Downer doesn't really give a shit for Gary: he's just hoping for a shot at Ann Coulter's bony ass.

Plook is wrong again. (What a surprise.) ZutboF was excommunicated because he revealed the source of my wealth. People buy religious relics. I shit religious relics. Furthermore, if you read what I write, you're eating my shit. What's that? You can't talk with your mouth full? Busted! Be sure to wipe when you're finished.

Pope Jim has headed south to the Oregon Caves for more religious relics. And to form a cult/rock group with the Sasquatch that space aliens have been hiding there for centuries.He is going to pitch the name 'Guano Bat Feces'.

_________________This is the exciting part. This is like The Supremes, see the way it builds up...

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