Scene 4

A room in Page’s house.

(Fenton; Anne Page; Shallow; Slender; Mistress Quickly; Page)

Fenton tells Anne how unlikely it is that her father will ever approve of him, but she asks him to keep trying. Anne sees Slender approaching, and comments on how her father approves of him only because he’s rich. Slender attempts to woo her, but greatly needs his uncle Shallow’s help. He admits that he is only running after her because her father and his uncle insist on it. Page comes out to invite them all in and tells Fenton to leave Anne alone. Fenton pleads with Mistress Page, while Anne asks her to spare her from marrying Slender, but Mistress Page intends Dr. Caius to be Anne’s husband. Mistress Quickly assures Fenton that Anne likes him thanks to her. By now, she is a go-between for all three suitors, not to mention the messenger between the two wives and Falstaff. (82 lines)

No, she shall not dismay me. I care not for that, but that I am afeard.

QUICK.MISTRESS QUICKLY

Hark ye, Master Slender would speak a word with you.

ANNE.MISTRESS ANNE PAGE

I come to him.

Aside.

This is my father’s choice.

O, what a world of vild ill-favor’d faults

Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year!

QUICK.MISTRESS QUICKLY

And how does good Master Fenton? Pray you a word with you.

SHAL.ROBERT SHALLOW

She’s coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a father!

SLEN.ABRAHAM SLENDER

I had a father, Mistress Anne, my uncle can tell you good jests of him. Pray you, uncle, tell Mistress Anne the jest how my father stole two geese out of a pen, good uncle.

SHAL.ROBERT SHALLOW

Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.

SLEN.ABRAHAM SLENDER

Ay, that I do—as well as I love any woman in Gloucestershire.

SHAL.ROBERT SHALLOW

He will maintain you like a gentlewoman.

SLEN.ABRAHAM SLENDER

Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a squire.

SHAL.ROBERT SHALLOW

He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.

ANNE.MISTRESS ANNE PAGE

Good Master Shallow, let him woo for himself.

SHAL.ROBERT SHALLOW

Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that good comfort. She calls you, coz. I’ll leave you.

ANNE.MISTRESS ANNE PAGE

Now, Master Slender—

SLEN.ABRAHAM SLENDER

Now, good Mistress Anne—

ANNE.MISTRESS ANNE PAGE

What is your will?

SLEN.ABRAHAM SLENDER

My will? ’Od’s heartlings, that’s a pretty jest indeed! I ne’er made my will yet, I thank heaven. I am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

ANNE.MISTRESS ANNE PAGE

I mean, Master Slender, what would you with me?

SLEN.ABRAHAM SLENDER

Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing with you. Your father and my uncle hath made motions. If it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be his dole! They can tell you how things go better than I can. You may ask your father, here he comes.

Enter Page, Mistress Page.

PAGE.PAGE, EVANS, AND CAIUSGEORGE PAGE

Now, Master Slender. Love him, daughter Anne.

Why, how now? What does Master Fenton here?

You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house.

I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos’d of.

FENT.FENTON

Nay, Master Page, be not impatient.

MRS. PAGE.PAGE, EVANS, AND CAIUSGEORGE PAGE

Good Master Fenton, come not to my child.

PAGE.PAGE, EVANS, AND CAIUSGEORGE PAGE

She is no match for you.

FENT.FENTON

Sir, will you hear me?

PAGE.PAGE, EVANS, AND CAIUSGEORGE PAGE

No, good Master Fenton.

Come, Master Shallow; come, son Slender, in.

Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton.

Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender.

QUICK.MISTRESS QUICKLY

Speak to Mistress Page.

FENT.FENTON

Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter

In such a righteous fashion as I do,

Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners,

I must advance the colors of my love,

And not retire. Let me have your good will.

ANNE.MISTRESS ANNE PAGE

Good mother, do not marry me to yond fool.

MRS. PAGE.PAGE, EVANS, AND CAIUSGEORGE PAGE

I mean it not, I seek you a better husband.

QUICK.MISTRESS QUICKLY

That’s my master, Master Doctor.

ANNE.MISTRESS ANNE PAGE

Alas, I had rather be set quick i’ th’ earth,

And bowl’d to death with turnips!

MRS. PAGE.PAGE, EVANS, AND CAIUSGEORGE PAGE

Come, trouble not yourself. Good Master Fenton,

I will not be your friend nor enemy.

My daughter will I question how she loves you,

And as I find her, so am I affected.

Till then farewell, sir; she must needs go in,

Her father will be angry.

FENT.FENTON

Farewell, gentle mistress; farewell, Nan.

Exeunt Mrs. Page and Anne.

QUICK.MISTRESS QUICKLY

This is my doing now. “Nay,” said I, “will you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on Master Fenton.” This is my doing.

FENT.FENTON

I thank thee; and I pray thee, once tonight

Give my sweet Nan this ring. There’s for thy pains.

QUICK.MISTRESS QUICKLY

Now heaven send thee good fortune!

Exit Fenton.

A kind heart he hath. A woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet I would my master had Mistress Anne; or I would Master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would Master Fenton had her. I will do what I can for them all three, for so I have promis’d, and I’ll be as good as my word, but speciously for Master Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from my two mistresses. What a beast am I to slack it!