10 Times Rust Cohle Was the World’s Biggest Downer

There’s a new Tumblr hot off the…Tumblrs (?)…and we highly recommend you bookmark it immediately if you’re a fan of “True Detective.”

It’s called truedetectiveconversations.tumblr.com—a parody riff on the dynamic between Rust Cohle and Marty Hart—and it really illuminates how much of a downer Matthew McConaughey’s character truly is. We bet you're real fun at parties, Rust.

1. He doesn’t celebrate holidays.

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Excuse us..."holidays."

2. He’s above Her.

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3. That time he sucked all happiness out of a kids' movie.

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4. But weirdly enough, he cares a lot about Frozen.

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5. You can’t even have an innocuous conversation with him about late-night TV, just to pass the time.

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6. Or cable TV.

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7. Don’t you dare bring up the weather.

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8. You can’t tell if his opinion about the Olympics is sincere or sarcastic.

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9. It’s just never a straight answer with him.

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Yes or no, Cohle. Yes or no.

10. He refuses to be confined to a single archetype, not even for THE HARMLESS FUN of it.

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There you have it! Rust Cohle: the Jean-Paul Sartre of “Sex and the City.”