24 YEARS AND COUNTING…

Yesterday, my husband and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary. Twenty four years ago, July 30th, I said ‘I do’ to my best friend. Who receives the accolades for this? Surely I say, to my God be all the glory and all the praise. He kept this marriage together throughout the years. He made each year sweeter than the year before. He made it possible for me to say, “I love you, honey” and there to be no subterfuge found in the words. My God is great, do you know Him? Marriage is surely God’s gift to man, specially designed to draw him closer; to cause him to surrender fully. Too many times, especially in the first few years of this marriage, I found myself on the brink of telling the Lord, He can keep that gift. Surely, Lord we can get to that place of complete surrender without this. He said “for you, my child, you need this.” He knew of my stubborn nature, my tendency toward rebellion, especially when things do not go my way. He knew of my temper and my need to control my environment to the point of obsession. Throughout these 24 years, He has reminded me again and again, My poor husband had a lot to put up with, at the beginning of this marriage. He probably thought he was getting a ruby among women. I had been in the church far longer and I had accepted the Lord as my Savior at an earlier age. But the Lord was growing him too and I was just what this Holy, Righteous and Good God needed to perfect that man. My God is great and I can guarantee you that He is faithful and He will always be faithful. He can’t be anything else; He is God! The Lord has taught me much throughout the 24 years. His biggest hurdle, I must admit, was getting this girl to understand that He meant what He said. It took Him years to get me to that place of submission. Did you know for quite a few years, I lived with the misguided belief that submission to my husband was conditional? I believed foolishly, that my obedience to this verse depended on my husband’s love for me. I realized later that God in His wisdom would never make His Word negotiable. You see, I am too fickle in my definition of love. Today he loves me because he bought me flowers. But next year, he doesn’t love me because he ONLY bought me flowers. See, I’m too fickle. I’ll stick to the Word of God. He has grown me not just in spiritual maturity, but also He is blessed me with two of the best girls ever to be found on this side of heaven. Friends, if you are experiencing marital problems, take it to the Lord, Who is more than able to break down barriers and bring restoration. Trust Him, my friends, He cannot fail. He kept us for 24 years and counting, surely that same God is more than capable of keeping yours. Surrender to Him, submit to His authority and see what the Lord can do.

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I love the Lord Jesus Christ, my Savior. I love my husband (Benny) of almost 24 years, yes, he is still the love of my life, I love our two blessings from the Lord (Cleo and Anna). We are the parents of two beautiful girls that we home schooled through high school. I love fashion shhhhh

My heart is so warm from this. First off, happy anniversary! I hope it was filled with endless joy and happiness. Second, your point about the flowers being appreciated at first and then the next year not being appreciated because it was not enough is so interesting to me. To me, that really means appreciating the kind gestures in every which way. It is definitely something that I need to remember and work on.

Thank you 🙂 We had a beautiful day. It becomes difficult to appreciate the simple gestures when we begin to make comparisons with others. That’s the one thing we should never do, especially in relationships; compare 🙂

What a beautiful story of GOd’s grace towards you and your husband. My husband and I celebrated our 45th anniversary this month. I can truly say that we would not have made it without both of us trusting Him to do what only He can do. Two people living together is arguable the most difficult task for a human being. But when you are a child of God, HE shows you the way. Thank you so much for this post. Keep them coming!http://www.famillyprioritiesinc.org

Congratulations, Brenda (and your dh)! What a beautiful post. My husband and I will be celebrating 37 years soon and I can vouch that it really is a *daily* submission. I will be quoting you often on this: “…God in his wisdom would never make his word negotiable.” I need to burn that on a placque and put that in a most visible place in my home. Thank you for this post. Beautiful pictures! (and I love your shoes! g).

You said that you once believed that submission was optional. Were you referring to God or your husband?

I too have control issues, but I’ve been trying to keep them in check for the sake of my future husband.

He loves a strong woman and he admires my ability to hold my own however he also would like for me to be submissive in our relationship. I know I can do that for him while still keeping my strength and authority in certain aspects of life, including business and raising children.

I just wonder if you meant you learned to be submissive to your husband. If so, how did that work out for you? How were you able to keep your strength but be what your husband needs? Did you encounter any issues in doing so?

Sorry there are so many questions. Lol. I’m just curious. I think I can learn a lot from you. Thank you. 💙

I absolutely love the questions 😁 definitely being submissive to your husband does not mean denying the person, our Great and Mighty God made in His own image. You are a person; not an extension of your husband. BUT honoring the Lord IS honoring your husband. In Eph. 5: 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
To honor the Lord is to obey His Word. Let me also say, my sweet friend, this is for most wives, our #1 struggle. Submission is sacrifice; it is really giving your husband permission to lead your household, even when you disagree. It doesn’t mean, you don’t speak. You most certainly do share your disagreements, while watching the tone of voice and also going with His final decision.
Love this; thanks for asking those questions

Ephesians 5:21 submitting to one another in the fear of God. This verse, although it comes right before the wives, when read in context refers to Christians submitting to one another. The Bible tells the husband specifically to ‘love the wife’ not ‘submit to the wife’. Really… submission to one’s husband isn’t as mindless and spineless as some make it out to be. Submission to one’s husband means I trust God. I trust God enough to obey Him to fix the problems that may arise out of the decisions made by my husband. Submission in a marriage is for the wife.

Happy Anniversary! What a wonderful love story, the Lord knew what he was doing when He brought you both together! What an amazing witness to Godly love and legacy you have given your daughter’s, as you allow God His rightful position in your marriage, lives, and family! To God be the glory! 🙂

Congratulations and happy anniversary! What a blessing to be happily married for 24 years (and counting!). 🙂
My hubby and I just celebrated 15 years and I agree with you, it’s all thanks to God and His mercies. We have so much to thank Him for!
Blessings for the years ahead.
Marva | SunSparkleShine

Congratulations and thank you for these words of wisdom. I love my husband but I am constantly questioning God about me being wife material. At first I felt like I’d been tricked into a permanent situation before I could really process things. Now I see that God is using my marriage to grow the both of us.

ha – loved that flower line – yep. Today he loved me bc he brought me flowers. Next year he only keeps buying the same flowers from Costco. . . I have a man who finds a thing and keeps with it. And I’m glad he keeps with me. Happy 24th. We’re in our 30th and God is gracious and good and keep prodding.

Happy Anniversary Tammy. What a wonder-full review of His love and teaching. I will read this again when I have time to soak in the submission piece. May He continue to bless your writing. In Christ, Julie

Thank you for your wise advice! With Jim involved in the prison ministry, I really do have to depend on my own walk with the Lord!
Oh, Thanks for following my blog. I wanted to shorten the last post, but didnt know how to break it up. Perhaps from now on, I should do my writing in my open office program! Have a lovely, Blessed day, Brenda.
Karen

Happy Anniversary!! 🙂 Congratulations!! God is indeed good and faithful. I have been grown and stretched and broken so many ways because of marriage, lol. And they have all brought me, in the end, closer to God. So thank you God for your wonderful gift! God Bless you and your husband!!

Congratulations, I was in awe as I read this. I’m recently married it has been like 5 long months. I’m one that tend to want thing’s to go my way. Thing’s done the way I want and if my husband doesn’t I get mad at him and take everything out on him. I expect him to pickup behind himself, that I shouldn’t have to go tidy up his thing’s. I felt I shouldn’t have to tell him clean out the tub after you shower. I feel like these are thing’s he should do on his own without me telling him. If I had to remind him of some thing’s I would be upset. Lol at myself. I do thank you for the post

Oh my sweet friend, I know exactly what you are talking about. I did the exact same thing. Obviously 🙄 he should have known these things, right? 😂😂 nope! But here’s my free advice, don’t sweat the small stuff, don’t seek perfection. It took me too much time to get to that point. Thanks for commenting, may the Lord, be praised.

Yes, He is good!! Next year is your silver wedding anniversary! I remember vividly when my parents celebrated their 25th. My brother and I threw a huge party and hired a lady to recreate their wedding cake. Very good memories. Xoxo

Congratulations Brenda!
Only our Lord’s loving hand could have caused such a success!
We will be celebrating our third anniversary in
October. After 33 years single, it hasn’t been an easy transition! But Jim is my best friend. Please pray for us! Sometimes we are like oil and water… but we both love the Lord and know He brought us together!
May your celebration be even more joyful next year, as you celebrate your 25th!
Karen

Amen! The best advice I can give you is to put the Lord first in YOUR life. You are responsible for your walk with the Lord. Don’t hand that responsibility to your husband. May the Lord be with you, my friend. It isn’t easy, but I will guarantee, it’s worth it! 😁😁

Thank you for your wise advice! With Jim involved in the prison ministry, I really do have to depend on my own walk with the Lord!
Oh, Thanks for following my blog. I wanted to shorten the last post, but didnt know how to break it up. Perhaps from now on, I should do my writing in my open office program! Have a lovely, Blessed day, Brenda.
Karen

Amen! Thank you Lord for keeping my sister’s marriage over 24 years and counting! May you continue to guide them and draw them closer to you in Jesus Name! Amen! Blessings to you guys always and Happy Anniversary! Much love! ❤

ABOUT ME

Hi, my name is Brenda. It is such a pleasure having you here at Becoming His Tapestry. I am in the process of becoming; of allowing my Master to weave the various threads of my life into His Masterpiece. I am the wife of an amazing man and the mom of two very precious girls. I love the Lord! Yes, yes, I like fashion and makeup and shopping too. I want Proverbs 31:30 to be my identity.