DIVA [ˈdiːva] (noun): An operatic prima donna. A female version of a hustler. A usually glamorous and successful female performer or personality. A woman who has self-confidence, self-respect, and hella swagger. She knows who she is and exactly where she is going.
True divas should be treated with respect for their enormous talent and strong will.

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Come out with your hams up!

Pre-Thanksgiving post number two:

I just went and picked up the ham from the Honey Baked Ham Store in Cool Springs for my mom. It was my first experience in doing so- and let me recommend that if you must make this trip, go at 2 o'clock in the afternoon like I did, because I was able to walk in and walk right back out. I was prepared for much worse, and the velvet ropes that guide you through the store suggest lines might be worse at a later point in the day as well.

Anyways, they have picking up hams down to a science, and as I was led through the small store, following the path marked out by the ropes, I glanced around while I waited for my turn at the next available register, and was shocked by what I saw. There by the door, sitting unobtrusively was a security guard! A security guard in the Honey Baked Ham Store! I made small talk with the cashier and inquired about the need for the added security, and he laughed and made the comment that he thought it was more for the employees' protection than the customers. I can just see it now. Some cheapskate comes in and tries to steal a Thanksgiving ham. Or worse... some wenchy Brentwood soccer mom pitches a fit because she waited til the last minute and expected to waltz in and buy a ham on the spot and gets irate when there is no pork to be had.

5 comments:

"The scene turned violent when the woman heaved a 10-pound ham at the officer who was first to respond to the 911 call. Fortunately he was not injured by the projectile, as it only glazed his shoulder."

I've been in the HBHStore during rush hours and have been very glad that little security cop was ON DUTY!! You tend to talk and listen to other people's conversations while waiting in line and 90% of the people in line are in a hurry and can't understand why there are so many people in line like yourself. I'm glad you picked up the ham for me this year as your blog title really made me laugh!