GOOP vs Chloe

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chloe Sevigny -- don’t these two seem like the most natural enemies since cats and dogs? Since Kelly and Brenda? Since Mariah and all other performers? They’re both so pretentious but in slightly different ways, I can’t believe these two haven’t clashed before, but now it’s happening and it’s perfect.

The backstory is that Gwyneth had some beef with the MET Gala, complaining that it was stressful, or not fun, basically all the reasons people complain about New Year’s Eve. Apparently, she’s vowed to never go again. So then a few days later, Chloe’s asked to weigh in on what GOOP’s griping about and Chloe says…

“Maybe her sleeves were too tight.”

MAYBE HER SLEEVES WERE TOO TIGHT. How perfect is that? That sentence is a master class in throwing shade. With just 6 words, Chloe manages to disagree with Gwyneth, make her look ridiculous for complaining and severely cut GP where it hurts most – her dress, which poor Gwyneth has already gotten SO much sh*t for.

But it doesn’t stop there. Chloe goes on to say “everybody thinks it's so much pressure, and you do the carpet and it's such a big deal, and it's just a museum fund-raiser, you know?" She’s so dismissive of the whole thing, she’s so New-York-over-it, and she’s so insulting to the Kardashians of the world who view their invite to this “museum fund-raiser” as their official invite to the A List.

This is a mix of apathy and cruelty that cannot be endorsed in a real human, but it’s exactly what I want to hear from Chloe Sevigny. These arrows were shot at Gwyneth from the launch of Absolut’s new “luxury sipping vodka”, of which Chloe is the new face. How f*cking typical of her is that? At this point you really have to think that she’s just trolling 90% of time, trying to fuel jokes for Drew Droege’s Chloe impressions on YouTube, right? The pics from the vodka launch party that happened on the High Line are attached below. Do you think her dig against Gwyneth’s sleeves is a backhanded compliment to herself for wearing something so flowy?