Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Won’t Get Fooled Again…

Didn’t they also promise to ensure we went back to weekly collections? And how did that turn out?

But ministers are not expected to provide cash for councils to increase the frequency of rubbish collections - despite reports they would earmark funds for town halls to bring back weekly bin rounds or for weekly food waste collections.

"Weekly bin collections are more expensive to run and lead to less waste being recycled, which is bad news for cash-strapped councils and families and bad news for the environment."

Oh, do shut up, you whining freaks! You aren’t ‘friends of the earth’, you’re enemies of humanity…

The review will see councils stripped of the ability to impose fines on householders who break minor bin collection rules, with town halls only able to issue fixed penalty notices to "neighbours from hell" who allow rubbish to pile up or those who fly-tip.

Well, now. Maybe this won't inevitably lead to council workers surreptitiously tipping up bins full of waste into gardens so they can accuse the householders and get a nice little earner.

The way to encourage recycling is to reduce the amount of Council tax a community pays by the amount of cash the Council makes out of the recycled rubbish that community leaves out for recycling. If the the Council is losing cash hand over fist with this recycling lark (and I am almost sure they are) then they should just abandon the ridiculous scheme, build a coal-fired power station and burn all the crap. It's not difficult, is it?

My trash (unsorted, basically anything I want to get rid of, kitchen waste, paper, cans, bottles, whathaveyou, gets dumped in a bin bag on the kerb every Monday and Thursday and a cheerful gang of deeply smelly young men come by and throw it in the back of a big lorry. What do they do with it? Who the fuck knows? Sensible people do not concern themselves with such brain-sickly speculation. I assume they burn it, or dump it in a big hole somewhere, or throw it in the sea. I don't care. I live in a country which, despite its diminutive size, happens to boast about 5% of all the known species on the planet, so we must be doing something right. Recycling is a wank-fantasy for Islington Grauniad readers and nothing more. Aluminium: yeah, I'll buy into that. Everything else: get bent. Why? Because homeless people collect aluminium cans. They don't collect newspapers.

I recently upbraided a stroppy teenager who had dropped his fried chicken box, complete with gnawed chicken bones, onto the pavement outside my house. There is a rubbish bin about ten yards further along the street.

Among the torrent of defensive and near-incoherent patois gibberish which he emitted was the line 'I don't care'.