How to Survive in the Modern Day Workplace

New Hire Confident He Doesn’t Need To Write Any Of That Down

Fayetteville, AR – After manager Scott Chabert noticed that new hire Felix Snyder hadn’t written a single word down during their intense training session, Snyder explained that note-taking wasn’t necessary for him. Snyder confirmed that he “got all that” while making a swirling hand gesture in the general direction of Chabert’s desk.

“I’m good on all of this,” continued a confident Snyder, who hadn’t looked up from his phone for the past five minutes. “I used Microsoft Word in college for a ton of English classes, so this isn’t anything new. If anything, I could probably teach you a few things.”

When Chabert pointed out that they were going over how to calculate expenses in Microsoft Excel, a completely unrelated program, Snyder shrugged and said he would only need a couple minutes poking around the program to have it mastered.

“I pick things up super quick, and I’m pretty sure I have that photographic memory thing like that one guy on ‘Big Bang Theory’,” replied Snyder. “Man, what’s that guy’s name? I’m totally blanking, but I only watched the first six seasons.”

Chabert has begun mentally preparing himself to constantly answer the same questions over and over again after Snyder still needed directions for his fourth trip to the bathroom.