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the thing is that my family doesn't really understand depression or how deep it is for me. today they were telling me that i should just be able to get up and get out of bed and do stuff, and i couldn't articulate just how much more difficult that is to do than it is to say. when i finally did get up by brother and i went for a walk and we talked about it a little. charlie was giving me all this sage life advice, talking about inertia, saying that "if i could just get going, it would be so easy to be a functioning member of society." he phrased it a little differently, but it meant the same thing. i told him that if inertia's life then depression is friction and i'm like rubber.

but then i got thinking. rubber still does move. even though there's a crapload of friction and it's really really hard to get it going, it still gets going. even if it stops and starts, and it's slow, and a lot of the time it doesn't seem worth it. and even though over time it feels like it's wearing down, you didn't even notice how much easier it was to move.

it takes time to heal, and it's not linear; it's up and down and all over the place. but with persistence you can get there. heck, i don't think i'm even half-way. that being said, i'm better than i was twelve months ago, and i'm sure i'll feel even better a year from now. it takes patience and it takes strength, but doesn't everything?