tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74644245998406571342019-06-10T09:31:19.388+01:00Following the ShaymenPliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09224184317567631382noreply@blogger.comBlogger101125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-76043390974027534242012-07-02T12:42:00.000+01:002012-07-02T12:53:21.152+01:00Fixtures 2012/13<br />FRIENDLIES<br /><br />14/07 - Brighouse Town (A) SAT<br /><b>21/07 - Stockport County (H) SAT</b><br />24/07 - Farsley (A) TUES<br /><b>28/07 - Scunthorpe United (H) SAT</b><br /><b>04/08 - Blackburn Rovers (H) SAT</b><br /><b>08/08 - Bolton Wanderers (H) WED</b><br />11/08 - North Ferriby United (A) SAT<br /><br /><br /><br />LEAGUE <br /><a href="http://www.footballconference.co.uk/uploads/docs/Conference%20Fixtures2.pdf">Full Conference (Nat/Nor/Sou) Fixtures</a><br /><br />18/08 - Bishop's Stortford (A) SAT<br /><b>21/08 - Colwyn Bay (H) TUES</b><br /><b>25/08 - Workington (H) SAT</b><br />27/08 - Bradford PA (A) MON<br /><br /><b>01/09 - Oxford City (H) SAT</b><br />05/09 - Chester (A) WED<br />08/09 - Hinckley United (A) SAT<br /><b>15/09 - Gloucester (H) SAT</b><br />29/09 - Histon (A) SAT<br /><br /><b>02/10 - Vauxhall Motors (H) TUES</b><br /><b>13/10 - Boston United (H) SAT</b><br />20/10 - Altrincham (A) SAT<br />27/10 - Brackley Town (A) SAT<br /><b>30/10 - Harrogate Town (H) TUES</b><br /><br />03/11 - Guiseley (A) SAT<br /><b>17/11 - Droylsden (H) SAT</b><br /><br /><b>01/12 - Solihull Moors (H) SAT</b><br />08/12 - Worcester City (A) SAT<br /><b>15/12 - Bishop's Stortford (H) SAT</b><br />22/12 - Colwyn Bay (A) SAT<br /><b>26/12 - Gainsborough Trinity (H) WED</b><br /><b>29/12 - Corby Town (H) SAT</b><br /><br />01/01 - Gainsborough Trinity (A) TUES<br />05/01 - Gloucester City (A) SAT<br /><b>12/01 - Hinckley United (H) SAT</b><br />19/01 - Oxford City (A) SAT<br /><b>26/01 - Chester (H) SAT</b><br /><br />02/02 - Corby Town (A) SAT<br /><b>09/02 - Histon (H) SAT</b><br />16/02 - Droylsden (A) SAT<br /><b>23/02 - Stalybridge Celtic (H) SAT</b><br />26/02 - Vauxhall Motors (A) TUES<br /><br /><b>02/03 - Worcester City (H) SAT</b><br />09/03 - Solihull Moors (A) SAT<br /><b>16/03 - Brackley Town (H) SAT</b><br />23/03 - Harrogate Town (A) SAT<br />30/03 - Workington (A) SAT<br /><br /><b>01/04 - Bradford PA (H) MON</b><br /><b>06/04 - Altrincham (H) SAT</b><br />13/04 - Boston United (A) SAT<br /><b>20/04 - Guiseley (H) SAT</b><br />27/04 - Stalybridge Celtic (A) SAT<br /><br /><br />All Bank Holiday/weekend fixtures kick-off 3pm<br />7:45pm otherwisePliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-31611854158175062262012-03-08T00:23:00.001+00:002012-03-08T00:23:46.067+00:00A requiem for my dog Jesse, 28/02/2001 - 06/03/2012.<div class="mbl notesBlogText clearfix"><div>As I enter the porch a long, black but graying nose pokes out from the catflap. An eager whimper comes out, and she sticks her head through. I type in the door code and open it; Jess is there, practising a few small springs on her hind legs. The baggy skin over her eyes is pushed back to show the whites of her eyes and her chops wobble. She whimpers some more. Will she spring up to hug me around the pelvis, or will she roll on her back with her chest out? She's not bothered with leaping today and she rolls over. Her favourite stroke is on her chest and that's what she gets until I've taken off my shoes. Down my left is her leads, her bowl, her basket, her box, and a note reminding us to give her some eyedrops as she cannot produce tears anymore due to eyelid surgery. She went deaf at one point although she had long before decided that responding to us calling her name wasn't to her advantage anyway, but now it means she has no idea of the noise she makes. When she sees me she whimpers and gulps intensely and when we're eating she whimpers and gulps intensely. She's not going to get any of that gluten though lest she's temporarily blinded again and starts running into doors.<br /><br />Dogs become so wretched in their old age and Jess started to lose it last summer. I started running mid-May last year and around a week later I took Jess on a fell run: our first and last. It was a little full-on to her and I appreciate that with age a lot of carrot is needed. Maybe I took her torch on as her health plummted. At the end of July an umpteenth childminded kid's parent left our gate open and Jess shot out. She was in the vets that night with pancreatitis.<br /><br />A dog psychiatrist diagnosed her with OCD not too long ago, the point being that theoretically, faced with an infinite pile of bin waste, Jess would eat it all until she'd die of overeating. Food was there to be inside her, and if there wasn't food in sight it would be her imperative to find food. Food was one of the two things that properly motivated Jess. It was food and faith in her family that ran her. Mum was her own mother and best friend, but she would wait at the foot of the stairs for any of us. The smell of the air going down the lane to grandma's made her whine, and the smell of the Lake District air made her whine. As a dog, faith ran her. Rounding us up on walks and staying at our heels. Bounding into the lounge at 9pm as we sat down for tea and weaving around your legs as you toiled in the kitchen. Diving down for the bit of food you dropped and devouring it. Spitting it out again as she realises it's a bit of carrot or pepper or something else that would actually do her body some good.<br /><br />A Saturday lunchtime spent feeding her emetics so she expelled all the rat poison she'd found in the porch. Sitting in the car back to the priory in Devon from East Prawle after she'd rolled on the bloated corpse of a beached porpoise. Watching her eat a dead, sand-covered fish when stood powerless in another rockpool. Scraping chewing gum from the Huddersfield pavement as a puppy. Practically all my chocolates accumulated from Christmas 2003, devoured. New Year's spent worrying over her liver afterwards. Her brief foray with hen crap.<br /><br />Seeing her bound up and down the tussocks on her second-wind, curlews spurting out from the heather. Uprooting you downhill as she shoots through your legs. Letting her determine the path and letting her stop to sniff other dogs' marks of territory. Nearly giving me squits in fear as she leapt around at 20mph as I tried to scale Sharp Edge on Blencathra. Not stopping at the summit to admire anything at all, but instead darting after a sheep as that's her way of playing games. Quick drinks from muddy puddles and quick dips in troughs and the irrigation. If a run's enjoyability is determined by how muddy you are when you finish, then this applies a hundred times over to Jess, who remains unphased when lead into the stream to clean down.<br /><br />In many ways a very healthy dog, it was her attitude to food that pulled her down. Arriving home as a box-shape, throwing up and going on a long run the next day was a perfect weekend to Jess, although most of her life was spent sniffing around the main room, retiring to a settee or her basket. I wonder if it bored her.<br /><br />This Saturday, Jess escaped and found a bin. She came back and threw up. She threw up on her walk the next day. She threw up on her walk the day after that. She was taken to the vet, where she was diagnosed with pancreatitis again. This Tuesday the vet looked inside her and found a ball-like tumour in her pancreas that had begun to metastasise, and upon seeing that it was confirmed that she wouldn't be in any less pain than she'd already be if she woke up again. Thus, Jesse White died on the 6th March 2012 in her sleep: a post-binge nap she never woke up from, and a very sad house that she'll never know she ever left.<br /><br />xxx</div></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-80059766860897302552012-02-23T16:11:00.000+00:002012-02-23T16:17:09.722+00:00Wall of Sound<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5fDjZQ_BnWM/T0Zk229mgRI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/Gqsx_YsVVRc/s1600/wallofsound.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5fDjZQ_BnWM/T0Zk229mgRI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/Gqsx_YsVVRc/s400/wallofsound.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5KeHSdnVUjY/T0Zk9HgnRkI/AAAAAAAAAJ8/5cK6k2qA-fY/s1600/wallofsound2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5KeHSdnVUjY/T0Zk9HgnRkI/AAAAAAAAAJ8/5cK6k2qA-fY/s400/wallofsound2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br />Obviously, this really is a football blog of mine, and nearly as obviously, it's quite dormant at the moment due to a more hectic life. As with most people, things outside of football often stun, inspire and incense me at least as much as on/off-pitch shenanigans do, but for more personal reasons this matter catches my attention.<br /><br />Last night I dreamt that I was in the area, so went to check out Wall of Sound again. I came to find it had shut down. I looked through the window to all the records I wouldn't see again and burst into tears (please let me continue here). As this was a dream, there were other inconsistencies such as Wall of Sound still being in the Piece Hall and the fact it had Edward Monkton cards on the window display, but those points are less relevant. When I woke up this morning, I trailed back to the first dream I had that night and realised what I dreamt. I loathe that Derren Brown nonsense, but this was the first time I wanted to double-check. I googled "wall of sound" and up it came: <br /><blockquote class="tr_bq"><i>After 25 years of trading, Wall of Sound has now closed.</i><br /><i>A massive thank you to all who have supported me and shared my love of music. <br />Please continue to support those that care.</i></blockquote>Like in the dream, I'll openly admit that this made me weep. If that sounds sad, imagine what I think of those who solely find their music through free downloads, HMV, supermarkets and sprawling Amazon warehouses. Now I'm forced to look at it in retrospect, Wall of Sound was one of the strongest elements of continuity in my growing up. My father took me a number of times when I was in primary school, and in year six I started going on my tod or with friends. As many may know, at the time Wall of Sound comprised two units in Halifax's Piece Hall, selling 40,000+ LPs, singles and cassettes on one side, with CDs and LPs on the other. The two units were increasingly packed with music in growing stacks of what was mainly cardboard boxes. Not long before leaving for Huddersfield, there were turrets of cassettes and 12" records and as a rite of passage I did accidentally knock one lot over.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_Nrra7tEa-s/T0ZjxPNfIhI/AAAAAAAAAJs/pCvP0X9a9v0/s1600/room12oct3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_Nrra7tEa-s/T0ZjxPNfIhI/AAAAAAAAAJs/pCvP0X9a9v0/s400/room12oct3.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How my love of music looked in 2008.</td></tr></tbody></table><br />It was a wonderful place as it always was in year six. Back then, among the things I looked at were Korn CDs, but mostly the less common Nirvana records and bootlegs. The Outcesticide CDs, the In Bloom 12" picture disc, etc. As I entered secondary school my search became focused on punk of all stripes: from the most commonly-known '77 punk through to US hardcore, grunge and oi!, all the way up to the bland modern outfits. Through year nine my tastes expanded much more, often beyond the limits of most record shops, but my personal definition of what was relevant in the WoS vaults grew like nothing. Through secondary school it expanded still and towards end end of year eleven anything in there could garner my interests—apart from of course the ever-extensive classic rock/hair metal sections.<br /><br />In summer '06 it turned out one of the assistants, Nick, a black-clad gent with hair halfway down his body who must have weighed in at about 6st., left. That day I spent three hours hanging out there. His choices were excellent and his stories were hilarious, from watching Boredoms support Shonen Knife, to throwing his friend's Gong records like frisbees. I saw him several months later as a guitar teacher for little kids, fingers covered in calluses and blisters, in high spirits as he'd always been.<br /><br />That summer I had my first job, a suffocating second-life as a kitchen porter in the Millbank gastropub, a posh noshery which went bump the other year. Thirteen or fourteen hours a week there on top of GCSEs got me enough money to buy four or five records a week. I hadn't much spare time and a life of being belittled by teachers and staff was a drag. But I had music. It also granted me enough disposable to get to Manchester and spend a lot of time at Piccadilly Records. In contrast, Piccadilly was a spick'n'span affair filled with the latest releases and re-issues, more likely to sell you a £30 180-gram expanded edition of a 13th Floor Elevators vinyl or a £12 CD from another avant-garde luminary.<br /><br />A year or so on they announced plans to leave for Huddersfield, to one whole unit with more space. Pre-recession, I'd lived a charmed life to find this news upsetting. No more failing to get there straight after a Halifax Town match; no more having a superlative record shop local to me for after schools or weekend pottering. The news unsettled me but it wasn't that hard to adapt; each time Town had an away game I would join my father and brother playing pitch and putt in Kirklees, with the reward of visiting Wall of Sound on the way back.<br /><br />The vaults had gone with the stone walls and decorative graffiti, and with a large sign above the shopfront, Wall of Sound had established itself down the road from Huddersfield Train Station. CDs were on sale in a room on the ground floor, with an expansive basement below with enough space for vinyl to finally breathe. I left with a Negativland LP and a couple of others. Many more new releases seemed to be coming in and many of the deadwood albums that I'd flicked through since prepubescence were shifting. The members of staff who joined were just as welcoming. It was a rebirth.<br /><br />Transferring from the North Halifax Grammar School to Greenhead College in Huddersfield for sixth form made things better. Wall of Sound was now less than a mile down the road. I could now drop in during free periods and before guitar lessons I took on the outskirts of the town. What stopped me going there every week was not having the money I'd had a couple of years back, but as always I would buy something every time I went in. The range of choice was immense as I could buy a Soul Jazz compilation with a heavy wallet, or a cheap old 12" with a handful of change. I loved my time at sixth form, and Wall of Sound remained part of it. Although I technically stopped growing age 14, I grew up with WoS and it benevolently dictated my formative years.<br /><br />I'm now a second year in physics at the University of Leeds, but still taking guitar lessons in Huddersfield means I've still been an on-off visitor to WoS, buying records as I go. For half of my first year at university, the choice remained excellent. One time however, I found the shop had split in two. Below, all the records had been replaced by the Vinyl Warehouse, a place as crammed with records as the Piece Hall units were, but with nearly none of the character. Wall of Sound had contracted to the ground floor, with a fraction of their records moved up there and many of the singles on discount. Soon after many of the older CDs and records there went on discount. All of these changes were very disconcerting. I only went into Vinyl Warehouse once because the place depressed me like hell. I prefer not to flick through 150 copies of the same flopped Zutons single to find something unique. Literally the most interesting and individual thing I found there was the Human League's Dare! LP. And unlike the WoS environment, no-one acknowledged I'd come down those stairs. If the endless recession were to do anything to my favourite of all the vulnerable independents though, I'd take this over anything unspeakable. The last things I bought there were several Ride EPs in installments.<br /><br />One of the last times I went there were a bunch of lower sixth-formers there flicking through every browser. One of them was raving about old blues records and it warmed my heart to see that I may not be a throwback from another decade. It felt like all the music fans to come were in safe keeping.<br /><br />I haven't been back to Huddersfield for a few months, so I was nearly two months late to discover this morning that WoS was no more (symptomatic of why I'm no journalist). To me, it went today and I'm quite devastated. The old shop has been absorbed by Vinyl Tap. Saying that's OK is beside the point. Wall of Sound had everything that makes a great place. Good music begets belonging and friendship. It accesses you and doesn't talk down to you. Wall of Sound had that to it in its people and stock, and even if there's an already-running shop in its place, it'll slowly consume Wall of Sound's identity and there will be two more empty units gathering mold in the mausoleum that the Piece Hall now is. Vinyl Tap was already established in Huddersfield, so Huddersfield now has one independent left. Halifax has Revo. When I begun my collection it had Revo but it also had Bradley's Records, Andy's Records, and the great Wall of Sound. Some shops concentrate on speciality, like Piccadilly Records. Some are huge discount bins, like Vinyl Warehouse. The majority occupy the wide middle ground. Wall of Sound had all of it. The closest I've seen to it was a vast, sprawling, specialised and unique place in Seattle, but even that doesn't come close.<br /><br />Elliot Smaje ran Wall of Sound and working on losses in a beastly climate even affected his health towards the end. WoS's closure had to be felt the most by him. For a short, sociology-type project on music consumption I did in between the sciences at Greenhead, I interviewed an assistant, Mark. This was in May '09 and despite it being challenging, he described how record shops as bedrocks of local music helped them through the modern age. Local acts could find rely on them and they could even put on gigs. Guest musicians could come in to host evenings there for fans. He added that a delight of buying music in person is how you can walk in with little in mind, and come out with an empty wallet and a bag being torn by the weight of your purchases. It's a social opportunity to discover, listen and be tempted; you can even branch out a bit. Live as is human by putting the stylus on the shellac you've been told is worth a listen, rather than hopping through audio on YouTube on your tod.<br /><br />Going back to a record shop from an online environment makes you wonder why you left it. Good, often expensive, but hardly addictive, fun. Remaining indies, I'm sure, have never been of such high quality, with their will to appeal more than ever. How WoS still did this but couldn't avoid shutting down makes me crestfallen, and I wish other consumers would move back to this. Though I haven't in a long while, I've bought many things online that I'd probably never find elsewhere, and I've even bought a few .mp3s from Bandcamp. That versus the surprise of finding a gem in the middle of a stack though? No comparison. If the financial woes of the common man ever end, I hope record shops come back <i>en masse</i>. The online cultural shift is near completion in this country. Once the proverbial dust settles I wish shoppers could take to the streets again. When indies survive in distinctive small towns like Whitby and Hebden Bridge, they should in sprawling boroughs.<br /><br />There concludes my eulogy for Wall of Sound. I wish I could do more.Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-34168776339806224342012-01-22T01:46:00.004+00:002012-01-22T01:47:30.739+00:00Vauxhall Motors 1 – 3 Halifax Town; 21/01/12.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8RfQBpmAhCQ/TxtnWYy6BRI/AAAAAAAAAIk/2-hSAwQtnQo/s1600/SDC15731.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8RfQBpmAhCQ/TxtnWYy6BRI/AAAAAAAAAIk/2-hSAwQtnQo/s400/SDC15731.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">£3 student. Excellent!</td></tr></tbody></table><br />It's been a little while since I last saw the Shaymen, a much longer while since I last followed The Brotherhood away, and longer still since I last wrote about The Brotherhood. To be specific, my last away game was Colwyn Bay in our dismal attempt to advance in the Trophy, and my last report, the Guiseley one, comes from a time when we were only beating relegation candidates, flying in with kamikaze tackles and shipping far too many goals in the opening minutes. FTS returns as the Shaymen win their seventh consecutive game and sixth consecutive away game. Whatever has changed our fortune, the biggest addition we've made since that Guiseley game was impact substitute Jason St Juste, a light-footed left-winger who runs at an acute angle to the ground. As a second-half utility man he is a great asset.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vtX35FXLUK0/TxtnZhjldOI/AAAAAAAAAIs/w7Z8VmcibEU/s1600/SDC15733.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vtX35FXLUK0/TxtnZhjldOI/AAAAAAAAAIs/w7Z8VmcibEU/s400/SDC15733.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of the two clubhouses at Rivacre Park, this being the dry (and therefore deserted) one with '70s caravan décor. I somehow doubt this TV blasts out Soccer Saturday but it's worth remembering your roots sometimes.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />Obviously, it was heartbreaking for a 10-man Vauxhall to put five past us earlier in the season. It's the fact they're seemingly anonymous too. A works team based outside Ellesmere Port, by the Astra factory and the motorway. But all that does for me right now though is respect the fans: far from Mammon-loving brand-worshipers, they're all sound men of the Merseyside. My burning ears singed my flat cap as I read the kind words they had to say of us in their programme. "Forget the Telford and Kettering pretenders," I paraphrase, "FC Halifax Town are probably the biggest team we've faced in the league," also adding that Halifax was "part of the glorious North where rugby league [FTS edit: ahem!], bitter, and Northern Soul reigns supreme." They kindly acknowledged our respect for their performance in the reverse fixture and fed us the nicest chips I've had at a ground yet. If we're to progress up the leagues I hope we won't be missing the hospitality of places like Rivacre Park.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VZXd2LuMheg/TxtniCi7cFI/AAAAAAAAAJE/gf9w_a_8vgI/s1600/SDC15736.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VZXd2LuMheg/TxtniCi7cFI/AAAAAAAAAJE/gf9w_a_8vgI/s400/SDC15736.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The main stand at Rivacre Park, complete with badly-placed dugouts. The Rivacre is an OK place that reflects the size of the club and is definitely better than Nethermoor.</td></tr></tbody></table><br />The chill of the easterly wind wasn't as welcoming though, and neither was the referee. The first talking point of the match was Garner's fourth-minute booking after which he lunged into our old Scott Phelan with two feet. Miraculously he was only cautioned, but he was soon taken off for St Juste. After that with the wind on our side, it was just a case of learning to be gentle else the ball would fly out of the ground and the Wirral altogether, with players turning into acrobats to keep the ball in play and an inept referee who was dead keen on rewarding throw-ins instead of offsides, free kicks to the perpetrators, and generally disrupting any play that the weather didn't already disrupt. We capitalised on the 33rd minute from a 'keeper howler as Tynan rolled it into the feet of St Juste, whose rebounded shot was dealt with by Danny Holland. And after so little open play, the next two goals came in stoppage time as one-knee'd Holland completed a hat-trick. After a confident Scott McManus run and rifled shot over, St Juste gave Holland a close-range assist, before another 'keeper howler as he parried a Gregory attempt from the edge of the box, which Holland picked up and hit it into the open net from a difficult angle. 3–0 HT, Holland with the match ball.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d1sLypSYteU/TxtnlMj3oYI/AAAAAAAAAJM/EreiAs5L0QA/s1600/SDC15737.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d1sLypSYteU/TxtnlMj3oYI/AAAAAAAAAJM/EreiAs5L0QA/s400/SDC15737.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">St Juste breaks into area, Phelan covers.</td></tr></tbody></table><br />Confidence was to be earnt again in the second half however, as Holland was replaced for Anton Foster in a defensive move as we would battle against a wind that would make a long ball fly like a broken shuttlecock. A free kick saw the Motormen pull one back thanks to Phelan who was perhaps more languid than we'd've expected aside from the obligatory goal against his old team. Being Shaymen, the fans treated this goal as if it was 1–0 to them and the game lost its classic appeal. What we were looking at now was keeping possession in high winds and shrewdly sitting back on our lead and it worked. A second goal for the home side may have come before McGivern finally justified a sending off as he spat on McManus (McGivern had also spat at a Town fan before the game), and the balance then turned to a scrappy midfield display with a few more bookings and a match that dragged on until past 5pm.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DI7u8UKyLng/TxtnrVXyoKI/AAAAAAAAAJc/9DHUKECjE-0/s1600/SDC15739.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DI7u8UKyLng/TxtnrVXyoKI/AAAAAAAAAJc/9DHUKECjE-0/s400/SDC15739.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">More match "action."</td></tr></tbody></table><br />It's all well and good to protest about the man in black stopping a free-flowing game, booking when a caution/red was more deserved and dozing when important decisions were to be made, but I've kept something else in reserve here: he let Vauxhall kick off both the first AND second half. Nearly as surprising that no players really protested. The result was both sets of fans protesting this man's ineptitude and leafing through D.M. Turner's Essential Psychedelics Guide to see which hallucinogenic drug on the market lasts exactly two hours. What's more, McGivern was allowed on the subs bench after his sending off before the ref' finally caved in and sent him off for a shower. I love the people of <s>Vauxhall</s> Ellesmere Port and district that we've met, but much of this game was lacking.<br /><br />But y'know. We're on a seven-win run that has shown that wins can be found in at least seven different ways though and despite having a bare-bones squad we now sit in third. Town not wait to strike Stalybridge and properly clear ground from Guisly as at least one play-off candidate drops points each week. Furthermore, this blogger has had at least two people ask him why he hasn't been writing, so the reader who has come this far has popular demand to thank because this bitch is back.*<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Io2xjJLh1uI/TxtnuHk3j_I/AAAAAAAAAJk/twFFSzKeizc/s1600/SDC15740.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Io2xjJLh1uI/TxtnuHk3j_I/AAAAAAAAAJk/twFFSzKeizc/s400/SDC15740.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />*Provided my workload is kinder to me this term.<br /><br /><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Vauxhall Motors 1 – 3 Halifax Town; att. 532</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Ground: 5/10</div>Pitch: 6/10<br />Programme: 8/10<br />Chips: best in the league, perhaps the non-league?Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-21014311603262533062011-09-22T03:16:00.000+01:002011-09-22T03:16:30.267+01:00Guiseley 3 – 4 Halifax Town; 20/09/11.There's no better person to quote than myself, because otherwise who would quote me? "When we start playing well for once, it's going to feel <i>mint</i>."<br /><br />I approached Nethermoor Park as you'd walk past a sleeping Rottweilier that only eats Town fans. A local kid slipped in with us, since his ticket would cost £1 in the company of an adult. After we got through the turnstile he joined a group, one of which shouted at us "You're gonna get battered tonight!" I made a bee-line to the bar and necked a tidy half pint of a Hebden Bridge bitter in time for the players to gather on a clean, slightly warped pitch.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ENiUhaVv79o/TnqUskKtpQI/AAAAAAAAAIA/2rkdqEQolYM/s1600/SDC15193.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ENiUhaVv79o/TnqUskKtpQI/AAAAAAAAAIA/2rkdqEQolYM/s400/SDC15193.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />What I heard next shocked me: Neil Aspin's father had passed away from cancer today. The teams lined up and bowed their heads for a minute's silence and the main stand spectators rose, and although by this point I wondered if there was a rational reason for us to stay, Aspin himself was still there by the dugout, showing the astounding resilience we would soon see from the players.<br /><br />A minute in, Toulson gave it away and an attempt for the right-hand-side of the goal from Guiseley's Peter Davidson trickled through the hands of Eastwood, leaving us 1–0 down. A voice in my head said "9–0 FT."<br /><br />Seven minutes in and the danger in Guiseley's eyes let's us have it again, with Gavin Rothery finding some space from a header to hit it high up and in. Two goals down and I still hadn't even found a good vantage point from which to shout.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CZVbbqQ8Y7k/TnqURJAPjBI/AAAAAAAAAH8/qdnvM3SSN38/s1600/SDC15192.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CZVbbqQ8Y7k/TnqURJAPjBI/AAAAAAAAAH8/qdnvM3SSN38/s400/SDC15192.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />I found my father at the other corner on the ground, who declared we'd lost already and we may as well do what we can until the final whistle. But 20 minutes had elapsed and we hadn't conceded a goal in a while, so was some momentum being picked up? Yes, we had a good amount of possession but were we to let Guiseley on the attack again it'd be safe to assume they'd score, knowing our red carpet of a defense. Your inner dreads as a fan though can be hidden deeper inside you if you encourage your team vocally: "Do it for Neil Aspin!" had to be the words to go by.<br /><br />Soon, the Shaymen's heads raised up like Pez dispensers. Terry Dixon was to take a free kick from 20 yards instead of the usual from cap'n Tom Baker, and the wall-beating shot was converted from the rebound by Lee Gregory. We had begun playing with some fluency again and sent an early warning to Guiseley that their perfect home streak wasn't so safe. However, the Lions couldn't help but respond towards the end of the first half, and not too long after a looping header got palmed away by Eastwood, he couldn't stop a close-range diving header that Rothery nailed, while I snuck off to see a man about a dog, trying not to think of anything at all.<br /><br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7S_AdZX7ehg/TnqVIWR7wqI/AAAAAAAAAIE/Qiv1zRojFRc/s1600/SDC15195.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7S_AdZX7ehg/TnqVIWR7wqI/AAAAAAAAAIE/Qiv1zRojFRc/s400/SDC15195.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No, I'm not a professional sports photographer. Well spotted.</td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0tsful6W5gQ/TnqWCgdKzCI/AAAAAAAAAIM/gV5fi1sSZ2Q/s1600/SDC15197.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sX9fIhi-mAo/TnqWfo5ycAI/AAAAAAAAAIU/K9Of4jCkgEE/s1600/SDC15198.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sX9fIhi-mAo/TnqWfo5ycAI/AAAAAAAAAIU/K9Of4jCkgEE/s400/SDC15198.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">More match visuals taken hurriedly because I accidentally deleted all of the older stuff including two goals and me patting Danny Lowe's back in my fervour.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><br /><br />After their second and third, the Guiseley massive felt eager enough to vaguely chant their name a couple of times, and the next peek I heard of the home team's supporters was being told that we were the strongest side to come to Nethermoor so far this season. We were just worried that Town's courage had crumbled again and that another write-off was ahead. And bloody hell, were we given an unexpected treat!<br /><br /><br />As we kicked off I heard a "Going down, going down, going down!" chant directed at us from the other side of the ground. Must be this non-league grace and spirit we're always told about that teams like bankrolled Guiseley clearly have in abundance. Defiantly, the Shaymen of the second half were world beaters (ie. Conference North beaters). Our game flowed, our players communicated, and Guiseley's nappies got fully twisted over it. It was simply better than anything from the last five games. When Holland squared the ball to Terry Dixon, whose touch went in off defender Danny Ellis, a 3–2 scoreline felt pretty OK in and of itself. Four minutes later, Baker's corner ball reached the bowing head of Terry Dixon, and the loanee himself had opened his account finally, and deservedly.<br /><br />We could then do it all. Route one was a possible, as were the flanks. Our defenders picked up the stray Guiseley counters and the entire team had grown a foot in height. After ten further minutes it was Dixon again who fed in a route one ball to Gregory. Greggers, as per, took ages with the ball inside the six-yard box: was he erring, or was he dancing with the ball to deceive the frankly petrified Guiseley defense? Either way it worked, thank god, and the feeling of us getting that 4–3 win, a three-goal gain within 15 minutes still feels stunning.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kOvMfIwq1HE/TnqW7nU7mvI/AAAAAAAAAIY/LiHb29Q-0z4/s1600/SDC15199.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kOvMfIwq1HE/TnqW7nU7mvI/AAAAAAAAAIY/LiHb29Q-0z4/s400/SDC15199.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />So, a confounded Guiseley kicked off for the final time in the evening, and a particular brand of classiness courtesy of substitute O'Neill's elbow floored Liam Hogan, and the former was shown the red card after six farcical minutes on the pitch. The remainder of the match was still tense but seen out well, and the eighth goal of the game was on our radar more often than theirs. It's always tense, when the three points are in sight.<br /><br />Neutrals at the match would've found it fantastic, and the Shaymen certainly did. This was the Shaymen we'd seen under Aspin in the previous two seasons, a group of lads who celebrate with each other when they score and always have the goal in their collective mind. If we piece more of these results together, minus the activity at the other end of the pitch, it'll be alright. For now, our current squad have showed easy game is something we ain't.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VJU79s6bUVM/TnqXXAd5luI/AAAAAAAAAIc/7Q2Iwz6KrdQ/s1600/SDC15201.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VJU79s6bUVM/TnqXXAd5luI/AAAAAAAAAIc/7Q2Iwz6KrdQ/s400/SDC15201.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />P.S. I got a programme; a rather uncommon thing for me now considering the dross I spent 17 seconds reading at Evo-Stik level. It's a good 'un! Admittedly tinpot in design (see below) but high in content and effort and ultimately worth the asking price. Props also to the first history I've read of ourselves which wasn't copied off a dormant, semi-literate page on the official website, despite it only documenting two of our 100 seasons of footie. Canny.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wzWoHYAnRMA/TnqY1S__8II/AAAAAAAAAIg/hPKLPKr7-RU/s1600/Photo+192.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wzWoHYAnRMA/TnqY1S__8II/AAAAAAAAAIg/hPKLPKr7-RU/s400/Photo+192.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Guiseley 3 – 4 Halifax Town; att. 897<br />Entertainment: 9/10<br />Ground: 5/10<br />Pitch: 7/10<br /><br />I'm a happy Town fan.Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-51798016611748081832011-09-21T13:00:00.003+01:002011-09-21T13:00:39.806+01:00Halifax Town 1 – 5 Vauxhall Motors; 17/09/11.I'm writing this on the Wednesday, having seen Town take on Guiseley the night before. It's odd how that's happened, as I felt like writing this report as soon as I got home from the match, but even by the morning after I was pretty much speechless.<br /><br />So, Vauxhall Motors. Eff Cee. Vauxhall Motors FC. When others try to justify the tinpot nature of football at lower levels, if they don't want to stop at the absurdity of Accrington being a "Stanley" or ask you where the hell Forest Green is, everyone can laugh at the expense of Ellesmere Port's biggest team. But where is Ellesmere Port? It's west of Runcorn and Frodsham, bordering on the Wirral. Whatever that makes you think, Vauxhall are a works team that have survived the demands of Conference North football for several years and with all banana skins in mind they were way, way better than us.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lR5eI7lFxNY/TnnRsS_fMcI/AAAAAAAAAH4/pOQnU8jX55E/s1600/17092011433.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lR5eI7lFxNY/TnnRsS_fMcI/AAAAAAAAAH4/pOQnU8jX55E/s400/17092011433.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />This Saturday broke my heart. A few minutes in Toulson grappled with a Vauxhall forward, seemingly out of the area. But the forward fell over in the area and Josh Wilson converted the penalty. 14 minutes in, Dean was about to be put through on goal as midfielder John Bennett pulled him down and received a red card for his ill-judged effort. So the Motormen were 1–0 up and 10 men down with so much opportunity for the Shaymen to get a little something. Baker's free kick tested the goalie pretty well, but not well enough. Golden opportunities followed, Gregory missing two good headers by angling them both a little to high and Baker's daisy-cutter which zipped just wide.<br /><br />Then, just before our brains could adjust to the concept of going 2–0 down, Motors' Craig Mahon ran for a loose ball and struck it past everyone in front of him, scoring a screamer from out of the box. It was Vauxhall's next attack that then made it 3–0, a free kick inside the halfway line which went to Leighton McGivern who ran along with it and struck past Eastwood with momentum. Shock was served up in the South Stand and sadly some booing.<br /><br />After a long half-time break, Town performed the best we'd get from them all afternoon. Surrounding a rebounded shot which Deano rolled past the 'keeper to make it 3–1, there was some hope that the Shaymen had finally arrived. Then, of course, shortly after this confidence boost, Baker of all people gave away a sloppy pass to McGivern, who took it one step, two step, and with his left foot . . . fuck me. From 35 yards out, McGivern's strike hit the top-right corner of the net, far out of the reach of any goalkeeper around. Devastating at any level.<br /><br />From then on we were heads-down and didn't allow ourselves to make any semblance of a comeback. Our defense stopped short of rolling out the red carpet for the best opposition striker we've seen at the Shay for ages and ages, our midfield had the patience of an 8-year-old trombonist spending hours on his scales, and our striking was as sloppy a force as a few drunks trying to aim their wee properly.<br /><br />To close the scoring, McGivern completed a hat-trick with a free kick that swung past the wall and curled into the far-left of the goal. He was then substituted to the biggest applause of the game, all across the ground. Half the crowd had left, and the atmosphere stung.<br /><br />Remember: ten men.<br /><br />There were so many faults with that match I don't know where to begin and to end, and which points are more valid than others. At the time, I still had confidence however, that Aspin's thoughts were more relevant than the fans'.<br /><br />Heartbreaking.<br /><br /><br />Halifax Town 1 – 5 Vauxhall Motors; att. 1265.Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-90808108425959700962011-09-11T02:55:00.001+01:002011-09-16T13:16:01.448+01:00Hinckley United 3 – 2 Halifax Town; 10/09/11.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jws8t1IZeiI/TnM5r39zoEI/AAAAAAAAAHo/ABde3bwEHgA/s1600/SDC15109.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jws8t1IZeiI/TnM5r39zoEI/AAAAAAAAAHo/ABde3bwEHgA/s400/SDC15109.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That sound you hear is Lynne Truss screaming.</td></tr></tbody></table>It takes some thinking to reflect on summat like this, and I'm not going to claim to have each solution to every problem dealt out from a neatly-stacked deck of strategies. For the benefit of the hapless reader of FTS, let's go through the whole wreck of today and pick things out from the rubble.<br /><br />I honestly don't think I've begun a day with the Shaymen without some optimism. Usually I have the full, three-point optimism, other times I hope for a well-earned draw. The end of the Jim Vince season was the only time I wasn't oozing with confidence, but even then achievement felt as if it were nearby. With Hinckley having already lost five games albeit with a manager who's lead them safely along for 14 years, setting off at 11am today I felt this optimism and continued to feel it for a pretty long time. I'm now going to skip the usual frivulous "then I bought a badge, then I ate a pie, la-di-da" wank I usually write on away days, in order to grind a few gears.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HbTongnVQ9o/TnM6aU47oQI/AAAAAAAAAHs/dEauvCP9g8M/s1600/SDC15116.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HbTongnVQ9o/TnM6aU47oQI/AAAAAAAAAHs/dEauvCP9g8M/s400/SDC15116.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />Stinckley are the most incompetent team we've met this season. From the opening minute we were freely bombarding down to Stinckley's terraced end goal and it took only a minute for their players to become mardy, bemoaning every ref' decision, even ones that went their way. Whereas working through some teams' back lines is almost like brain surgery, manouvering the space Hinckley left us was easier than sewing a button. We did the usual Town thing and took our time with it, though with the spontaneity and pace we used to be capable of would've startled their lumpen looking 'keeper Danny Haystead. Indeed, no Town fan at the DeMontfort today felt we only had the potential for two goals. Instead, we operated at the pace of a pre-season friendly. When playing one league game a week, you don't operate at a friendly pace. When playing one league game a week, you have the energy reserves to . . . well, y'know: if you can potentially score <i>six goals</i>, you should try to score those six goals.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-F2KUwFaUMJM/TnM62NawqRI/AAAAAAAAAHw/T4puvWx2k_s/s1600/SDC15118.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-F2KUwFaUMJM/TnM62NawqRI/AAAAAAAAAHw/T4puvWx2k_s/s400/SDC15118.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />Lee Gregory was given good service on the first goal and was clean through on goal. Haystead came off his line and the lob into the net was perfect. In the second half, when débutant Terry Dixon's shot was parried away, Harry Winter did a successful job with a gnat's fart of a kick into an open goal. Throughout these 65 minutes leading to the goal that made it 2–0 Town, Stinckley were playing to the standards of a Step 4 team. But we were mediocre. We were mediocre, and even when we approached the goal we weren't clinical. As usual. It felt like we were arbitrarily planning attacks when we had the ball in their half, taking our time before foolishly giving away the ball, only to dispossess them again.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WzCDgCnnRH0/TmwUyNiXiKI/AAAAAAAAAHk/gU8y6aeQsCo/s1600/SA500016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WzCDgCnnRH0/TmwUyNiXiKI/AAAAAAAAAHk/gU8y6aeQsCo/s400/SA500016.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Shaymen speed down the flanks once again.</td></tr></tbody></table><br />This was a cat-and-mouse/piggy-in-the-middle style of play, and it's the style of play you should only be happy with seeing if your team's at least 4–0 up. Instead we took to it from kick-off until Stinckley started scoring.<br /><br />Stinckley would go on to have six shots. Of those, three were on target and those three all went in. The deceptively quiet frontman Andre Gray found space for a decent shot out of Simon Eastwood's grasp four minutes after our second goal. A little while later, Gray fed a perfect cross for Danny Newton to head in from a few yards. And with a few minutes to go, that Andre Gray again was through, and when Eastwood's dive for the ball got the man instead, Stinckley were rewarded with a penalty which former Town reject Luke Dean netted. A man who couldn't impress when we played Wakefield in 2010. This always happens.<br /><br />As the transition in the above paragraph took place, Town went from their barely-acceptable grade to which they'd played for the entire game (and the vast majority of the last four matches), to timid, to eleven Tom Harbans, all clambering over each other to show how feckless they could be in a moment of need. The confidence in the team was astonishingly low, and it doesn't take a conceited man to demand a team like Halifax Town to play to their assumed prestige. We've a splendid ground and 1,000 fans who won't be put off by several months of performances similar to the first dozen hours of competitive football seen this season. For a squad to flourish, tweaking it should be kept to a minimum. However, if one or two players are shown the door this week then Aspin will still know what he's doing and it'll all be a greater good.<sup>[1]</sup><br /><br />It's always a good idea to use words sparingly to keep their full effect. With that in mind, this performance was a disgrace.<sup>[2]</sup><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EHb3pncsWDY/TnM9TgzCBJI/AAAAAAAAAH0/fxagBHEjyWw/s1600/SDC15088.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EHb3pncsWDY/TnM9TgzCBJI/AAAAAAAAAH0/fxagBHEjyWw/s400/SDC15088.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br />Anyway. Congratulations! You've successfully(?) read through eight paragraphs of boundless misery, and some of my more constructive thoughts following that horrid alternative reality world that was the final quarter of this Saturday's match. A credit to the handful of Stinckley fans who sung on their team. If only I could get my fellow Shaymen to do the same.<br /><br />Tell you what though: as I came out of the ground, I felt the urge to laugh. I don't know if it's me learning to mediate myself, or if I'm just going crackers. It's either the most healthy thing to do in this situation, or the least healthy.<br /><br />If you don't bother watching us' next match this coming Saturday, home to Vauxhall Moors, you'll have chosen the worst time to tune out. Because (and this is today's only positive): when we start playing well for once, it's going to feel <i>mint</i>.<br /><br /><br />[1]&nbsp; Encouragingly, in this weekend's official interview, Aspin shares the same speechless disappointment as any fan who's done the 250-mile round trip while keeping his natural level-headedness.<br />[2] Tough love, honest. Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-52320113350639835032011-09-07T02:05:00.000+01:002011-09-07T02:05:30.215+01:00Stalybridge, Boston and Workington.The odds have been against me posting anything Town this past month and a bit. Following the Mansfield game I set off from Calderdale to Land's End on my bike, before setting off to Seattle for two weeks (depressing), and now my internet's started functioning properly, here I am.<br /><br />Watching Town in the Conference North is an improvement. Not that I've seen us put 100% in yet, but I know from these three games that even when it's dross, it's better than watching Worksop players in shelf-stacker shirts falling about like babbies in the midwinter night. The worry is, when will we attain the pace that we've found is necessary to challenge in the Conference North?<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VGl4zMf090w/TmanYLg3s3I/AAAAAAAAAHI/quE-IfBx6tY/s1600/SDC14837.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VGl4zMf090w/TmanYLg3s3I/AAAAAAAAAHI/quE-IfBx6tY/s400/SDC14837.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />The first game is <b>Stalybridge</b> <b>Celtic</b> at home, and my lift is so late that I miss their first goal. It was a penalty conceded by Scott McManus again (Slapp MyMissus), and prolific Stalyvegas striker Phil Marsh put it away. Stalyvegas brought 120 or so over who made a bit of noise and initially, we competed quite well with that. But when James Dean squared it in, Lee Gregory beat the 'keeper to smack the ball in at the other side before too long. It's good to be back, and the Shaymen were putting in a good case for themselves against the table leaders, who had already won their first four games. It wasn't too long after however, that Slapp MyMissus this time failed to take down his opposition as Hogan gave away the ball, and as Eastwood failed to catch the ball, Stalyvegas' Jennings placed the ball in. MyMissus was then, thankfully, substituted.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pwJiR9PgKVo/Tmaq3iJwyuI/AAAAAAAAAHM/0rVwEmL2byo/s1600/SDC14838.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pwJiR9PgKVo/Tmaq3iJwyuI/AAAAAAAAAHM/0rVwEmL2byo/s400/SDC14838.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QG8FwVov5Is/TmarUBpQveI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/_zFJAHx3ObM/s1600/SDC14839.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QG8FwVov5Is/TmarUBpQveI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/_zFJAHx3ObM/s400/SDC14839.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />In the second half, tedium set in. Oh, that second half really was a pain. Much possession from defense to attack, but as soon as we got within 25 yards of the net we became hopeless, without ideas and worried to commit to any ball into the box, let alone shot. On the other side, Stalyfuse hadn't bothered to put the game away for themselves as the tempo of the game slowed and slowed. So in the 91st minute what happened? Aaron 'Ardy was taken down in the box, Town were immediately rewarded a penalty, and what does Baker do? He tucks it in. <b>2–2</b> at full-time; Stalyfuse's perfect points tally is no more. The Shaymen are mid-table, but they can silence a full-time Stalyfuse outfit who really were getting rowdy.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-L3reW1z6zqM/Tma2e_TRWTI/AAAAAAAAAHU/nUomYBb5_Pk/s1600/SDC14845.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-L3reW1z6zqM/Tma2e_TRWTI/AAAAAAAAAHU/nUomYBb5_Pk/s400/SDC14845.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />A loss, a win and three draws preceded Bank Holiday Monday's game at <b>Boston United</b>. Not so good then, but just two points off where we were last year when we, of course, pissed that tinpot league. Arriving in the Fens I was surprised at how pleasant it looked compared to so much of the crap I'd seen the week before in America, despite as being as flat as a pancake. My lift was late and I missed the first 15 minutes. It appeared we'd already scored this time, but it was just the atmosphere! After the past three seasons you're not used to an away game where the two sides' fans are chanting, but today we were being told by the Boston ultras that we were "just a small town in Goiseley." We reiterated that they were "just a small town in Poland," and that was the best part of the first half.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fuP14nS3Vwk/Tma5VdFY1oI/AAAAAAAAAHY/GclxQfYGSHE/s1600/SDC14847.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fuP14nS3Vwk/Tma5VdFY1oI/AAAAAAAAAHY/GclxQfYGSHE/s400/SDC14847.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-l60x14cLiqo/Tma5tvoFyYI/AAAAAAAAAHc/fxFHdT5NkSU/s1600/SDC14848.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-l60x14cLiqo/Tma5tvoFyYI/AAAAAAAAAHc/fxFHdT5NkSU/s400/SDC14848.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />Boston fans were as unsettled as us with their start to the season: fairly unsettled. Part of their team had left for a better life at Grimsby Town, who also now have Boston's manager and assistant manager. Where were Grimsby as a result? In the relegation zone, and with a viral YouTube sensation:<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/otwGjlNonQw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0' /></div><br />The Pilgrims' main forward right now is, apparently, a Lincolnshire League stalwart. Their attacks were admittedly blunt, but I could easily see the touchline terrace at York St. explode with joy as one of their attacks actually brought some joy. Luckily, even the close efforts were stopped by Simon Eastwood. Meanwhile, attacking towards a terrace of 320 Shaymen, we got closer still. We were alright, followed by good, followed by very unlucky not to get a goal. The closest chances in a tense wait for the one goal that would get us those three points were from Aaron Hardy, whose free header weaved itself above and then left of the goalposts, then Danny Lowe, who was through but couldn't find a trajectory Boston's 42-year-old 'keeper hadn't got covered.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-917iXOkNeb8/Tma9yAC1mUI/AAAAAAAAAHg/UZssc7sla84/s1600/SDC14867.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-917iXOkNeb8/Tma9yAC1mUI/AAAAAAAAAHg/UZssc7sla84/s400/SDC14867.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />This begged the question, why was it our defenders who got closest to the goal? Why not our strikers? Of course, Jamie Vardy, now one of the non-league's biggest names, is our squad's long-gone number 7. His pace beat the back line countless times and he was a stark joy to watch, a progressively greater pleasure before becoming a forbidden one, leaving for full-time pay at Fleetwood. But he wasn't the only one who brought us this far down the pitch last season, so our remaining strike force shouldn't be this lumpen. With ten minutes to go the goal seemed imminent, but it didn't end up coming and we were left to be philosophical over a <b>0–0</b> draw. One of those fairly entertaining 0–0 draws.<br /><br />Three points had to come at home to <b>Workington Town</b>, and it did. My lift was late and I missed Wukky's first goal. But again we came back, and again it was Lee Gregory who found a close position to finish it. And like a repeat, Tom Baker scored a penalty. Then in the second half, a corner ball came to Tommy again from 20 yards out, which he blasted through the centre, avoiding all bodies in the box and clumsily going through the Wukky 'keeper. I'd divulge further but to make no bones about it, it was a dull match not worth describing in detail both because I already have with others, because these reports are starting to add up in word count as it is, and of course, I'm not being paid to do this. We won <b>3–1</b>, we won it at a boring ol' canter, and it's encouraging we can still do that.Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-48445220689465439072011-07-17T19:48:00.000+01:002011-07-17T19:48:14.178+01:00Halifax Town 1 – 0 Scunthorpe United; 16/07/11.Revenge can often be strange and contrived. I walked into the afternoon's lectures with a big ol' sadface when I heard that at lunchtime, Alan Knill had suddenly left my "other" team, Bury, to help save Scunthorpe United from relegation. That weekend the Iron lost 6–0 at Norwich, and Alan Knill's new Barmy Army finished the season 24th on goal difference, dropping down to League 1. It'd be a bit of karma to beat the highest-ranked team in our friendly list this season with Knill still at their helm.<br /><br />Several individual performances stood out from a watchable game. The first was that of injury-dogged Nicky Gray, who with his head up narrowed himself between two Iron defenders and hit the right post with his edge-of-the-box shot. Throughout the match, Vardy had the attention of an umpteenth full-time outfit, continuously dodging defenders and laying up precise crosses. Simon Eastwood's clean sheet was one he worked on keeping, and the Matt Smith lookalike had a nimble edge over the departed #1 Jonathan Hedge, coming up to collect a close Scunthorpe shot, which he saved again on the rebound twice to a relieved applause.<br /><br />However, even the meekest Scunthorpe team, ie. the one we saw yesterday, could build up a few attempts, even if they were just by chance. Around the 75th minute, one of their numberless substitutes that came on in a Knill's mid-half line-up overhaul was adjudged to have trod on Greg Anderson's bootlaces before he calmly put the ball past Eastwood. Laughs turned to worry again towards the end, against the Vardy-led run-of-play as Scunthorpe found an opening but hit the post.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-u5z7JVni8rY/TiMuRnNci-I/AAAAAAAAAG8/rb3y3uMHrVQ/s1600/16072011410.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-u5z7JVni8rY/TiMuRnNci-I/AAAAAAAAAG8/rb3y3uMHrVQ/s400/16072011410.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Scunthorpe substitute half the population of Scunthorpe.</td></tr></tbody></table><br />Then came this:<br /><br />Liam Hogan intercepted a pass and ran with it down the right. Looking like the flag of the Isle of Man, he took it in a straight line from 70 yards to 30 yards: there he gave it a bash and in it went off the bar. Possibly the best goal I've seen at the Shay, and it was from a centre-back during pre-season. Magic it was!<br /><br />1–0 at 88 minutes, and the ref blew soon after. After a handshake with Neil Aspin shorter than most fist-bumps, Alan Knill plodded into the dressing rooms looking more like a distressed Woody Allen than a football manager.Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-19582185061519778012011-07-13T18:54:00.000+01:002011-07-13T18:54:25.368+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide XV: HYDE FC.<div style="text-align: center;"><div class="address-line"><h4 class="address"></h4></div></div><div style="text-align: center;">c/o Hyde FC<br />Manchester City FC <br />Etihad Stadium<br />SportCity<br />Manchester<br />M11 3FF<br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1nYB_nK3VLg/Tg-fEsaRp-I/AAAAAAAAAGI/XuAdmnL3W7g/s1600/hinckleyunitedcrest.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4sOazkhnauk/Th3NnMFYCyI/AAAAAAAAAG0/6D4VFRVuuWA/s1600/hydecrest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4sOazkhnauk/Th3NnMFYCyI/AAAAAAAAAG0/6D4VFRVuuWA/s1600/hydecrest.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YQrE9UQqK8w/Th3Kpdh_Z6I/AAAAAAAAAGw/VqwdmwRrFuY/s1600/hydecrest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pkU5ikRjW60/Thzwgq0jqhI/AAAAAAAAAGs/s9UWMfAzjpc/s1600/nuneatontown.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gppZ5m5zQ6w/TgM_cJvGbBI/AAAAAAAAAFk/TEZ7m2zXUZc/s1600/gloucestercitybadge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Nickname</b></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Tigers</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But we call them</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Jekyll</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Billy basics </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Manager: Gary Lowe</div><div style="text-align: center;">Founded: 2010</div><div style="text-align: center;">2010/11: 19th, Conference North</div><div style="text-align: center;">Highest position: 2010/11: 19th, Conference North</div><div style="text-align: center;">Average attendance 2010/11: 351<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Who are Jekyll?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Hyde FC was invented in 2010 when Manchester City FC announced an exciting and simply un-turn-down-able three-year sponsorship opportunity. This move invented Hyde FC. There is no other team on record representing the villagers of Hyde and their esoteric but charming ways. But if there was, they would have been liquidated by now, and they certainly would not have been called Hyde United FC. No-one calls their team United, and no-one names their stadium after the Arabic word for "United."<br /><br />In return for the deal, Hyde FC have received £250,000 straight from Manchester City. The ground has been revamped and is now fit for reserve, under-21 and academic matches for Manchester City. Oh, and for Hyde FC themselves. Hyde FC enjoy a special relationship with Manchester City. Hyde FC will continue to enjoy crumbs from the Manchester City table and the City in the Community scheme. The people of Hyde are delighted.<br /><br />Under the watchful eye of Manchester City, Roberto Mancini, Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Khaldoon Al Mubarak and the rest of the Abu Dhabi United Group, Hyde FC first kicked off in time for the 2010/11 season. Under the watchful eye of Manchester City, Roberto Mancini, Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Khaldoon Al Mubarak and the rest of the Abu Dhabi United Group, Hyde FC finished their first season in a very credible 19th place. Under the watchful eye of Manchester City, Roberto Mancini, Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Khaldoon Al Mubarak and the rest of the Abu Dhabi United Group, Hyde FC plan to galvanise this success in the forthcoming seasons.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The ground</b></span> </div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oLR27ct6htQ/Th3YGUxrz9I/AAAAAAAAAG4/fWoYkJK4HPw/s1600/hydeguide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oLR27ct6htQ/Th3YGUxrz9I/AAAAAAAAAG4/fWoYkJK4HPw/s1600/hydeguide.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sources <a href="http://www.tjmdecorators.co.uk/">1</a> <a href="http://wherestheteahut.blogspot.com/">2</a> <a href="http://maps.google.com/">3</a></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><br />&nbsp;Ewen Fields (now Etihad Fields) was built for £1,100 in 1885. Manchester City FC will always be at the forefront of good footballing deals. However, since Hyde didn't exist until 2010 their record attendance is currently 606. That's a lot of bucket collectors. Etihad Fields is made up of five stands including the Scrattin' Shed and the Tinker's Passage End. Aside from Manchester City's Etihad Stadium, on match days Hyde's stadium is the 2nd most empty venue in Greater Manchester.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The town</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Two names for you: Myra Hindley and Dr Harold Shipman.</div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Trains take 15 minutes from Manchester Piccadilly.<br /><br />Recommend us some Man City-approved watering holes plz.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Will we need to segregate?</b></span> <br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Nay.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.hydefc.co.uk/home.php"><b>OFFICIAL SITE</b></a> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><a href="http://www.eyeonthetigers.co.uk/">CATCH A TIGER BY THE TOE</a><br />&nbsp;</b><a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/hydefclive"><b>TWITTER</b></a></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-5729115710646809572011-07-13T02:08:00.002+01:002011-07-13T02:11:57.368+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide XIV: NUNEATON TOWN FC.<div style="text-align: center;"><div class="address-line">Nuneaton Town FC </div><div class="address-line">Liberty Way</div><div class="address-line">Nuneaton</div><div class="address-line">Warwickshire</div><div class="address-line">CV11 6RR</div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1nYB_nK3VLg/Tg-fEsaRp-I/AAAAAAAAAGI/XuAdmnL3W7g/s1600/hinckleyunitedcrest.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pkU5ikRjW60/Thzwgq0jqhI/AAAAAAAAAGs/s9UWMfAzjpc/s1600/nuneatontown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pkU5ikRjW60/Thzwgq0jqhI/AAAAAAAAAGs/s9UWMfAzjpc/s200/nuneatontown.jpeg" width="192" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gppZ5m5zQ6w/TgM_cJvGbBI/AAAAAAAAAFk/TEZ7m2zXUZc/s1600/gloucestercitybadge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Nickname</b></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Boro</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But we call them</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Nuneatin, The Tin</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Billy basics </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Manager: Kevin Wilkin</div><div style="text-align: center;">Founded: 1889/1937/1991/2008</div><div style="text-align: center;">2010/11: 6th, Conference North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2009/10: 2nd, Southern Premier</div><div style="text-align: center;">2008/09: 2nd, Southern Midlands</div><div style="text-align: center;">Highest position: 2006/07: 6th, Conference North (2nd, Alliance Premier as Borough)</div><div style="text-align: center;">Average attendance 2010/11: 953<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Who are The Tin?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Tin have claimed a handful of guises in the past and I'm not sure whether I should let them lay claim to them. Claiming Nuneatin's earlier identities would be like claiming a soggy, unwrapped Chewit from the floor of a changing cubicle at the swimming pool however, so let them have it if it pleases them.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Tin #1: 1889-born local church team playing on local fields in typical provincial leagues including the Nuneaton League itself, which seems like cheating to me. Folded after getting rid of their ground in 1937.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Tin #2: slightly-less-provincial outfit Nuneaton Borough, who joined the Southern Premier in 1958 reaching the Alliance League in 1979, that famous non-league apex, able to push for the Football League in the mid '80s. With the '90s came Boro's sad decline though, sorta-reforming in the Southern League Midlands. Their second crack at the big-time then came at the Millennium, occasionally tickling the top spot with the ol' non-league feather duster. They ran out of a puff again in 2003 and dropping to the Southern Premier, unable to take the pressure of being in the same league as the Shaymen. History will (may (might (meh, forget it))) repeat itself.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Election to the Conference North came in 2004, a league they nearly sussed. Then came their Token Big FA Cup Run® in 2006, but a replay in the Third Round at Middlesborough saw them outclassed 5–2. Finally, the big shock came in spring '08 when Nuneatin's long-term directors left due to ill health, leaving a black hole of debt visible for all. Within a few months the club, having invested a tonne in a ground move from Manor Park to their current Liberty Way, had gone bust.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Tin #3: reformed as Nuneaton Town, the buggers only had to drop two leagues and gained promotion the Southern Midlands League on the first time of asking. A second play-off push made good saw The Tin join the Conference North. Especially in The Land of Tinpot however, no-one likes a show-off. A third play-off tournament in the 2010/11 season came to nowt. Now the Shaymen have joined them in the league again, they couldn't have picked a worse time to attempt for promotion. *puffs chest*</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The ground</b></span> </div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UDfM7m9xUMA/ThzdlRLRAZI/AAAAAAAAAGo/rB55da3RgJU/s1600/nuneatinguide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UDfM7m9xUMA/ThzdlRLRAZI/AAAAAAAAAGo/rB55da3RgJU/s1600/nuneatinguide.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sources <a href="http://www.nuneatontownfc.com/">1</a> <a href="http://footballgroundguide.ipbhost.com/">2</a> <a href="http://nonleague.pitchero.com/">3</a></td></tr></tbody></table></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Tin's venue since 1937, Manor Park, saw its last fixture at the end of 2007 against Vauxhall Motors. How moving that must have been.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The ground that ended them last time around, Liberty Way, is where we'll meet in February. Being a 21st century ground, it clings to the underbelly of an industrial estate. "At least it's got a proper name!" I hear you say. Well, it actually does have one of those "official" sponsored names. Are you ready for this? Right. The Triton Showers Community Arena. Swoon.<br /><br />Originally built with a tarpaulin main stand, the busy builders of Nuneaton have recently finished work on a proper 1000-seater just in time for the Great Invasion of the Shaymen. All the other sides boast low terraces which I'm sure will be crammed too.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The town</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Busy little market town nine miles from exotic Coventry and 20 miles from Birmingham and Leicester, you spoilt bastards. Home of the English-sounding frittata, if you want to eat with the best of 'em.</div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Despite being just down the road from Stinckley, Nuneaton is marginally easier to reach. From Manchester Piccadilly, a transfer can be taken from Stoke-on-Trent to Nuneaton. From Leeds, a transfer can be taken from Birmingham New Street. By car, remember not to get lost in Bermuda, eh.<br /><br />Please recommend us a watering-hole. :(</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Will we need to segregate?</b></span> <br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">In the possible event of a heated promotion battle.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.nuneatontownfc.com/"><b>OFFICIAL SITE</b></a> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><a href="http://www.boro-chat.co.uk/forum/">MAKE A NAME FOR YOURSELF HERE</a></b><br /><b><a href="http://forums.footballwebpages.co.uk/forum.jsp?id=14">AND HERE, COS THEY'VE GOT TWO FORUMS LIKE</a>&nbsp;</b><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/Official_NTFC"><b>TWITTER</b></a></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-75083232212144725532011-07-10T23:53:00.001+01:002011-07-11T12:11:25.033+01:00Mossley 1 – 5 Halifax Town; 09/07/2011.<div style="text-align: center;">I sympathise for <a href="http://mossley80.blogspot.com/">Mossley80</a>, but I need to clear that up. I don't mean that in a way of giving charidee to the more tinpot in our lives; it's he himself that makes out a life of following Mossley to be like fishing an endless clump of hair from the basin. Like me at times, it'll take him days after the event to muster the courage to write a match day report. Just a few days ago he surpassed himself by writing a report for the season's final game: over two months after the event itself. In his defense, it'd be impossible to describe the latter half of Mossley's 2010/11 season as anything but BLEAK, all facts in mind. What Mossley80 manages to do is paint in every shade of gray that was last season's Mossley experience with adroit skill that makes it read as both hilarious and tragic. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6-3BrSrXtbo/Thoqnl68lNI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/Q7DiQAhDVhk/s1600/SA500005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6-3BrSrXtbo/Thoqnl68lNI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/Q7DiQAhDVhk/s400/SA500005.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">And though he didn't attend Saturday's match, Mossley80 missed what I'd say was a pre-season highlight. Pleasant weather, and a few points of interest on and off-field. Taking a place on the terraces was a friend of mine on tour from America, coming from Orange County to Mossley. What? He was impressed. Mistakes were made around the oh-so-confusing 2pm kick-off but little action was missed tbh, this being a friendly.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Lilywhites themselves have pride in their 100% record against the Shaymen at Seel Park. The only time we've been here as FC Halifax Town we lost an abject 3–1 on a cold night in Sept '08, newly-reformed and dressed in badgeless, plain-blue shirts and shorts. The Jim Vince team that never got on that night, and never would for the rest of the season. Today the sun shines, the Pennines are in full view, and Town are favourites for a third consecutive promotion into the Conference Premier. A contrasting "where are they now?" reunion. Though Seel Park looks fine in the sun, the greatest part of the ground has to be the Mossley squad's nude 2011 calendar on sale in the club shop. As tempting as it is, how many of the models have now left the club?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1Z_nFkNfvmM/ThoqtM77pCI/AAAAAAAAAGU/JeXm9k_nX64/s1600/SA500006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1Z_nFkNfvmM/ThoqtM77pCI/AAAAAAAAAGU/JeXm9k_nX64/s400/SA500006.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The furious face of concentration.</td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Mossley earns the award of being the first ever ground I've been to that offers a full vegetarian experience. Cheese &amp; onion pies can be had, along with chunky chips and mushy peas that my O.C. pal mistook for guacamole. That's a substantial meal! (Shut up, it is.) A tasty one, too. Within the time it took to be eaten, goal number one came courtesy of none other than Jamie Vardy, clear with a short finish going downhill towards Mossley's oldie-but-goodie "Kop" end. After that, conveniently within the time it takes to lump a load of peas on your plastic fork, Mossley had a long-range free kick despatched by Joe Heap, an 18-year-old striker who proved prolific in Mossley's youth set-up. Within those two minutes, any scouts still voyeuristically peering at Vardy would've been completely distracted by the youngster's effort, a top corner effort that could suppress any pre-season yawn.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">We were impressed but weren't going to be happy to move into half-time level. A foul from Mossley's #2 made the player forget about any notion of "friendly" after which a skirmish ensued, Town fans getting a little fed-up with the referee who was seemingly showing his eighth-tier credentials. After a third foul went unpunished outside the area, the Mossley defense kicked out the ball only for it to reach an ambitious Danny Lowe, who drove it in from 30 yards. Whey.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-q_iGETw_dMk/ThoqzRmFxVI/AAAAAAAAAGY/fvhPQ7c_Yy8/s1600/SA500007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-q_iGETw_dMk/ThoqzRmFxVI/AAAAAAAAAGY/fvhPQ7c_Yy8/s400/SA500007.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;In-keeping with American football, half-time entertainment was observed. Willing to make the most of Mossley's 100th anniversary of playing at Seel Park, a dressed-up club representative took to the pitch to sing Nessun Dorma. Oh dear you may say, did he mime to a karaoke track? Was it tone-deaf screeching? Did the Tannoy decide to act up? None of the above—the man did a fine service to the song that none of the 300-strong crowd were ever going to appreciate. Trust me, it wasn't bad!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-46u8VKZhwrk/ThorD85FSaI/AAAAAAAAAGk/uJFCmwiObz4/s1600/SA500010.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-46u8VKZhwrk/ThorD85FSaI/AAAAAAAAAGk/uJFCmwiObz4/s400/SA500010.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm not reliable enough to catch any match action, but at least I got a snap that demonstrates the pitch slope we sussed out.</td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The second-half finished 'em off without either team giving up the ghost. 3–1, 4–1, then 5–1, where a Lee Gregory header hit the bar and took advantage of the Mossley contours, bouncing home from a bump in the hallowed turf. We were set to make it six or more as the floodgates opened, but were happy to see an enthusiastic display from all involved bar a few dispirited gents in the Lilywhites' defence. Two leagues below us, Mossley may be the lowest-ranked team we'll play this year and there's nowt to be alarmed about so far.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Oh god, and one of those golden fan comments came visitin'. A few Shayman fans were getting wound up by the youthful, emaciated linesman ("linesboy") skipping down the touchline . . .</div><div style="text-align: center;">Fan: Teagan! Tell that linesman to do his job properly!</div><div style="text-align: center;">Fan's two kids, in unison: LINESMAN! DO YOUR JOB PROPERLYYY!</div><div style="text-align: center;">Indoctrination at its best.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The full-time whistle blowed and we were treated to a particularly maudlin ditty, Handbags and the Glad Rags by the Stereophonics, a worldwide ode to the discarded polystyrene teacup and chipped paint falling from old stands. Perhaps Mossley80 was here in spirit.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--5eELBxuZ04/Thoq-OGnjBI/AAAAAAAAAGg/qPkbcmPHI3I/s1600/SA500009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--5eELBxuZ04/Thoq-OGnjBI/AAAAAAAAAGg/qPkbcmPHI3I/s400/SA500009.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Mossley 1 – 5 Halifax Town</div><div style="text-align: center;">Entertainment: 7/10 </div><div style="text-align: center;"></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-9116071322529580262011-07-03T14:28:00.004+01:002011-07-10T22:34:21.695+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide XIII: HINCKLEY UNITED FC.<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="title">Hinckley United FC</span><br />Leicester Road<br />Hinckley<br />Leicestershire<br />LE10 3DR</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E_U9egb0zMg/TfDkommZiGI/AAAAAAAAAEY/2J63Q20IS0w/s1600/droylsdenbadge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1nYB_nK3VLg/Tg-fEsaRp-I/AAAAAAAAAGI/XuAdmnL3W7g/s1600/hinckleyunitedcrest.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1nYB_nK3VLg/Tg-fEsaRp-I/AAAAAAAAAGI/XuAdmnL3W7g/s1600/hinckleyunitedcrest.gif" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wxFUePasfd8/TgpfM-cEDMI/AAAAAAAAAGE/mFKekgY_n5Q/s1600/histonbadge.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gppZ5m5zQ6w/TgM_cJvGbBI/AAAAAAAAAFk/TEZ7m2zXUZc/s1600/gloucestercitybadge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Nickname</b></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Knitters</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But we call them</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Stinckley, The Stinck</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Billy basics </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Manager: Dean Thomas</div><div style="text-align: center;">Founded: 1997</div><div style="text-align: center;">2010/11: 15th, Conference North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2009/10: 7th, Conference North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2008/09: 10th, Conference North</div><div style="text-align: center;">Highest position: 2006/07: 4th, Conference North </div><div style="text-align: center;">Average attendance 2010/11: 433<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Who are The Stinck?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Hinckley United was an amalgamation of Hinckley Town and Hinckley Athletic, two probable pub teams that no doubt never got the slightest whiffs of playing real, proper League football. Throughout the mid-'90s Athletic were aiming for promotion from the Southern League whereas Town were in the league below, before arrangement was struck to merge the two teams. Athletic's Conference National hopes after merger for the 1997/98 season must've taken an own goal then, because Hinckley United dropped Athletic down to Town's league. After year-on-year improvement, FC United of Stinckley gained promotion back to the Southern League, earning election for the Conference North in 2004.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">In the meantime, Stinckley earnt themselves a couple of cup runs. Bowing out in the 2nd Round of the FA Cup at home to Cheltenham in 2001/02, in their first season of Conference North football they held Brentford to a replay in a 2004/05 2nd Round fixture, losing out 2–1 at Griffin Park. Ambitious as ever, The Stinck saw the Conference North as just another hole to escape from and immediately aimed for promotion again. Their 2006/07 season was the closest they got, but early on in the season, tragedy entered the playing field: centre-half Matt Gadsby died on the pitch during an away game at Harrogate. United adjourned for a month, suffering fixture congestion for the remainder of the season and finishing 4th, losing the play-off finals in the last minute at home to Farsley Celtic.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Things also picked up pace elsewhere. In March 2005 more avenues were opened for the Stinck when the building of their new super-stadium was finished. This slightly-out-of-town-but-loaded-with-facilities-and-training-pitches-and-conference-rooms-and-cantilever-roofs-and-even-the-odd-floodlight ground, De Montfort Park, was financed from the selling of Stinckley's old Middlefield Lane and not much else, as the seasons that followed Stinckley's promotion push were tough ones. Accumulated debt got within a few straws of breaking the Stinck's back, but a winding-up order was avoided and Stinckley enter the 2011/12 season without any I.O.U.'s stuck on the communal fridge.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The ground</b></span> </div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-POy3VSYEF30/Tg-fYP6Q20I/AAAAAAAAAGM/Cu_75onu09A/s1600/hinckleyguide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-POy3VSYEF30/Tg-fYP6Q20I/AAAAAAAAAGM/Cu_75onu09A/s1600/hinckleyguide.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sources <a href="http://www.ask.com/">1</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/">2</a> <a href="http://maps.google.com/">3</a></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;">&nbsp; </div><div style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;De Montfort Park, aka "The Greene King Stadium," has been declared a work-in-progress. Like planning out a massive shit, the ground is to be developed in "phases." The first phase brought the town a completely useable, three-stand stadium, with the second introducing the 3G and junior pitches. The third phase will be an extension of the West Stand to include seating, with the fourth and vaguest phase seeing stand extensions bringing the capacity to above 6,000. A name as silly as de Montfort could have only come from the 6th and final Earl of Leicester, an opponent to Henry III who died in battle in 1265. That should help you in your next pub quiz.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Of course, this means nothing to us Shaymen when we'll probably only visit Stinckley once. It should be our duty to breathe life into an identikit stadium.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The town</b></span></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Hinckley itself is a pleasant little market town on all accounts. The first place of interest its Wikipedia page lists is its "award-winning public toilets." So, go there. I won't plagiarise on the pub front, just give a glance at any of the pubs featured on <a href="http://www.hinckleyunitedfc.co.uk/pg/roughguide.html">this away fans' rough guide</a>. Hinckley's not that small of a town, but Leicester's also close, of course.</div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Trains are a nightmare. From Halifax you'll have to make a few changes as no trains go straight from Leeds/Manchester to Leicester, with Leicester trains going direct to Hinckley. From Halifax, trains to Manchester, over to Birmingham New Street followed by Hinckley verge on four hours. To get from Leeds to Leicester, changes can be made at Nottingham, Sheffield, Doncaster etc. You'd be much better off getting the supporters' coach.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Will we need to segregate?</b></span> <br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">No.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.hinckleyunited.com/"><b>OFFICIAL SITE</b></a> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><b> <a href="http://www.hinckleyunitedfc.co.uk/">FANSITE</a></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><a href="http://z11.invisionfree.com/hinckley_independent">JOIN THE KNITTING CIRCLE</a></b><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/hinckleyutdfc"><b>TWITTER</b></a></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-39716363094691251902011-06-29T01:50:00.003+01:002011-07-10T22:34:26.056+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide XII: HISTON FC.<div style="text-align: center;">Histon FC</div><div style="text-align: center;">The Glass World Stadium<br />Bridge Road <br />Impington <br />Cambridge <br />CB24 9PH</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E_U9egb0zMg/TfDkommZiGI/AAAAAAAAAEY/2J63Q20IS0w/s1600/droylsdenbadge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wxFUePasfd8/TgpfM-cEDMI/AAAAAAAAAGE/mFKekgY_n5Q/s1600/histonbadge.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wxFUePasfd8/TgpfM-cEDMI/AAAAAAAAAGE/mFKekgY_n5Q/s200/histonbadge.png" width="200" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tx5f24Vh6pE/TgkEygiafnI/AAAAAAAAAF4/qVsYo5twmlk/s1600/harrogatetown.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gppZ5m5zQ6w/TgM_cJvGbBI/AAAAAAAAAFk/TEZ7m2zXUZc/s1600/gloucestercitybadge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Nickname</b></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Stutes</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But we call them</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Someone suggested Pisston once, but not even I will dignify that</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Billy basics </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Manager: David Livermore</div><div style="text-align: center;">Founded: 1904</div><div style="text-align: center;">2010/11: 24th, Conference National</div><div style="text-align: center;">2009/10: 18th, Conference National</div><div style="text-align: center;">2008/09: 3rd, Conference National</div><div style="text-align: center;">Highest position: 2008/09: 3rd, Conference National </div><div style="text-align: center;">Average attendance 2010/11: 616<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Who are Histon?</b></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">That's a good question because the funny thing is, even Histon haven't quite traced back their roots since before the '80s. All those historians in neighbouring Cambridge are wasted.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">In appearance one of the biggest littlest clubs ever, Histon were born as a works side of sorts from a local jam company and were given a patch to play in next door village Impington. Then their tale's another of various county leagues, eventually finding their level in the Eastern Counties League in 1966, incorporating the cream of East Anglian borderline-pub football.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The turn of millennium then saw a bazonkers ascent into Histon almost becoming a household name. Ex-Cambridge United man Steve Fallon brought them into the Southern League's Eastern Division in 1999/2000, a league that proved to be a little harder before they found their feet again and won promotion to the Southern League Premier Division in 2004. The Conference South beckoned in 2005, with a Yeovil Town fixture in the FA Cup 2nd Round and the Cambridgeshire County Cup in the trophy cabinet to galvanise their success. The Stutes Machine went as far as the play-off final on the first time of asking the following season, before going up as champs in 2007 on a heinously comfy 19-point margin. Oh, they also reached the FA Cup 2nd Round again, having a good bash against but eventually losing out to Nuneaton Borough.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Could a village of less than 4,500 just settle for that? As many of you know, things just kept coming. They beat Cambridge United on the first time of asking and finished 7th, giving us Shaymen four points over two league outings on that fateful 2007/08 season. The 2008/09 season was their zenith, beating Leeds United 1–0 in the FA Cup 2nd Round in front of 4,103, topping the league table in the meantime. Nowt like watching Leeds fail to beat such miniscule outfits. The title however eventually went begging, Histon losing to Torquay in the play-off semis.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">And that was the last season overseen by Steve Fallon. After he was voted out Histon were found to be very much the small-time, dropping into the southern arse-end of the Conference North for this forthcoming season. Without Fallon's guiding hand, many predict Histon are now following a downward trajectory, their 18/1 championship odds a little optimistic for now.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The ground</b></span> </div><br \><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X3iZsI5U5r4/Tgpeu_5nkrI/AAAAAAAAAGA/QZxCQmKD3D4/s1600/histonguide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X3iZsI5U5r4/Tgpeu_5nkrI/AAAAAAAAAGA/QZxCQmKD3D4/s1600/histonguide.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sources <a href="http://www.geograph.org.uk/">1</a> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20http://www.thefootballnetwork.net/">2</a> <a href="http://www.swanseacity.net/%20">3</a></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;Just before Histon's growth waned, the Cambridgeshire FA set up shop on Bridge Road (The Glassworld Stadium), building it from what you see in the aerial view above to a League Two-worthy stadium. Another main stand has been built alongside the original structure, with the behind-goal terraces now stretching the pitch widths and new seating built over the touchline terrace. I am not a faithful enough Shayman to know how much of this was intact four seasons ago, but I'm sure they'll be happy to see us again.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The town</b></span></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">The village, even.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br \><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Luckily, it's just up the road from Cambridge itself. Weekends spent wondering what to do in Prescot or Bamber Bridge are no more: now you can grab a bike or a punt, and visit a marginally less hostile area. The amount Cambridge has going for it should be satisfactory if a bit of a culture shock compared to the braying hags in the Halifax thoroughfares.</div><br \><br /><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Trains go from Leeds to Cambridge via either Stevenage or Peterborough. Take your pick and have fun. </div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Will we need to segregate?</b></span> <br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">In the event they find success again, yes. But even then, no.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.histonfc.co.uk/"><b>OFFICIAL SITE</b></a> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://histonfootballclub.tripod.com/"><b>REDUNDANT FANSITE</b></a>&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b> <a href="http://www.histon-mad.co.uk/">HISTON MAD</a></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><a href="http://histonfootball.proboards.com/index.cgi">HISTON: VILLAGE IDIOTS? FIND OUT HERE</a></b><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/HistonFC"><b>TWITTER</b></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>&nbsp;</b> </div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Bring the servers down, <b>l</b><b>eave a comment.</b></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-83358897268665484432011-06-28T01:04:00.007+01:002011-07-10T22:35:05.503+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide XI: HARROGATE TOWN FC.<div style="text-align: center;">Harrogate Town AFC<br />CNG Stadium <br />Wetherby Road<br />Harrogate<br />North Yorkshire<br />HG2 7SA</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E_U9egb0zMg/TfDkommZiGI/AAAAAAAAAEY/2J63Q20IS0w/s1600/droylsdenbadge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tx5f24Vh6pE/TgkEygiafnI/AAAAAAAAAF4/qVsYo5twmlk/s1600/harrogatetown.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tx5f24Vh6pE/TgkEygiafnI/AAAAAAAAAF4/qVsYo5twmlk/s200/harrogatetown.png" width="170" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gppZ5m5zQ6w/TgM_cJvGbBI/AAAAAAAAAFk/TEZ7m2zXUZc/s1600/gloucestercitybadge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PVvQqbaUrm4/TcqgRZxVW_I/AAAAAAAAACY/SA8zr72azO0/s1600/bostonunitedbadge.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Nickname</b></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Town, The Sulphurites</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But we call them</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Harrogant (6th)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Billy basics </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Manager: Simon Weaver</div><div style="text-align: center;">Founded: 1907/1914/1919/1935/1946</div><div style="text-align: center;">2010/11: 12th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2009/10: 21st, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2008/09: 9th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">Highest position: 2005/06: 5th, Conf North </div><div style="text-align: center;">Average attendance 2010/11: 295<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Who are Harrogant?</b></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><b> </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Harrogate Town engine took some winding-up (ha) to properly start. Initially, football in Harrogate went little beyond a "Hey, we should toedully set up a football team sometime!" at some pub in 1907. In 1914, the same bloke threw down his pint and insisted, "No, seriously." Sadly, he wasn't fully heard, muffled by the rallying call to arms for the First World War and a generation of healthy young men was thrown to the floor. Five years later, the bloke sought out a place where he would finally be heard and in May 1919, Harrogant AFC became a reality in what is now Betty's Tea Rooms.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Harrogant became an established force in various regional leagues from the off this time, soon settling in at Wetherby Road, where they remain to this day. Early success brought them the West Riding County Cup twice in a row; not the farcical, loss-making enterprise it is now however as victory meant parades, processions and parties, where "<span class="middleboxmiddletext">respectable law abiding citizens became raving lunatics for the moment." To this day, you have to be a raving lunatic to stand in the rain at Ossett with other assorted lowly beings, spilt mushy peas and expired chunks of meat. A sudden lack of interest saw the club meet its fate in 1932. In 1935, a set-up known as Harrogate Hotspurs were half-decent enough to unofficially replace the old Harrogate team, before another generation was lost to gunfire in the Second World War.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="middleboxmiddletext"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="middleboxmiddletext">The return to Wetherby Road came after the War, "Hotspurs" becoming "Town" a couple of years later. Finally perfectly formed, they joined the Yorkshire League from the West Riding one in 1957 and traipsed its three divisions before becoming founding members of the Northern Counties East League, reaching its top tier in 1986 and finding election to the Northern Premier League the season after. With floodlights already built and a new main stand on the horizon, Harrogant had designs on the non-league pyramid. But nowt really happened until the noughties . . .</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="middleboxmiddletext"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b6gS9H9el4c/TgkToYN7m4I/AAAAAAAAAF8/7ZgLyQSl7Kc/s1600/neilaspin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b6gS9H9el4c/TgkToYN7m4I/AAAAAAAAAF8/7ZgLyQSl7Kc/s1600/neilaspin.jpg" /></a></div><div style="color: #cc0000; text-align: center;"><u></u><br /><br /><script type="text/javascript">function blinkIt() { if (!document.all) return; else { for(i=0;i<document.all.tags('blink').length;i++){ s=document.all.tags('blink')[i]; s.style.visibility=(s.style.visibility=='visible') ?'hidden':'visible'; } } } </script> <u><blink><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>*~THE ASPIN YEARS~*&nbsp;&nbsp;</b></span></blink></u><u><blink><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>&nbsp;</b></span></blink></u></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> <br \>Under Neil Aspin (now what happened to that guy?), Harrogant finished first in the Northern Premier League Division 1 North, winning the West Riding County Cup, which they won again in 2003, bagging a place in the First Round of the FA Cup along the way. In 2004 the Conference North was formed and Harrogant were part of it, Aspin bringing them a 6th place in the first season, a 5th the following season (bowing out in the play-offs to Scaffold Rangers), and grabbed two further 6ths. The First Round of the FA Cup came again in 2005, and the West Riding Cup yet again in 2008 if that counts for anything. Aspin mysteriously vanished in 2009. No-one knows why, no-one knows where he went and no-one knows when he'll come up. Harrogant finished bottom the following season and were due to be relegated, but Northwich Victoria weren't deemed solvent enough to remain a Conference North outfit, so they were thrown overboard instead. </div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> <br \><br \><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The ground</b></span><br \><br \="" /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LBoTa7Tsu0M/TgkD2MYUa1I/AAAAAAAAAF0/emRHL1O_17s/s1600/harrogantguide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LBoTa7Tsu0M/TgkD2MYUa1I/AAAAAAAAAF0/emRHL1O_17s/s1600/harrogantguide.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sources <a href="http://extremegroundhopping.blogspot.com/">1</a> <a href="http://www.sportydesktops.com/">2</a> <a href="http://maps.google.com/">3</a></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"> It's a small 'un, despite probably edging it over Disguiseley's park. Of course, Aspin will remind us that he won't be coming back here with any sentimental thoughts and the only thing we'll have to truly conquer is the notorious Wetherby Road slope. Having seen Radcliffe's toboggan-worthy incline and Clitheroe's quarter-pipe however, we shouldn't find it too much of a challenge. </div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> <br \><br \> <span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The town</b></span><br \></div><br \><div style="text-align: center;"> Many of us should remember Harrogate from watching Harrogate Railway Athletic, the fourth biggest team in neighbouring Starbeck. Harrogate is much like a Cheltenham of the north, a spa town considered by the same types of people as a decent place to live. Leave your chin at home and convince the missus you've gone all posh. </div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> Trains go from Leeds. </div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> <br \><br \><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Will we need to segregate?</b></span><br \><br \></div><div style="text-align: center;"> If their fans eat too many teacakes on the way here, then yes. <br \><br \><br \="" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://www.harrogatetown.com/"><b>OFFICIAL SITE</b></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="http://harrogatetownfc.forumotion.com/"><b>TELL A SULPHURITE THAT HE SMELLS</b></a> <br \><b><a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/harrogatetown">TWITTER</a></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> Where should the Shaymen drink away their misery? Tell us by <b>l</b><b>eaving a comment.</b></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-16246132457433246502011-06-24T01:46:00.005+01:002011-07-10T22:35:51.223+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide X: GLOUCESTER CITY AFC.<div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Gloucester City AFC</div><div style="text-align: center;">Arriva House</div><div style="text-align: center;">Meadow Park</div><div style="text-align: center;">Sudmeadow Road</div><div style="text-align: center;">Hempsted</div><div style="text-align: center;">Gloucester</div><div style="text-align: center;">GL2 5HS</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E_U9egb0zMg/TfDkommZiGI/AAAAAAAAAEY/2J63Q20IS0w/s1600/droylsdenbadge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gppZ5m5zQ6w/TgM_cJvGbBI/AAAAAAAAAFk/TEZ7m2zXUZc/s1600/gloucestercitybadge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gppZ5m5zQ6w/TgM_cJvGbBI/AAAAAAAAAFk/TEZ7m2zXUZc/s1600/gloucestercitybadge.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PVvQqbaUrm4/TcqgRZxVW_I/AAAAAAAAACY/SA8zr72azO0/s1600/bostonunitedbadge.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Nickname</b></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Tigers</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But we call them</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Glaaaaaarstar</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Billy basics </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Managers: David Mehew, Adie Harris</div><div style="text-align: center;">Founded: 1883</div><div style="text-align: center;">2010/11: 14th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2009/10: 18th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2008/09: 3rd, Southern Premier League</div><div style="text-align: center;">Highest position: 2010/11: 14th, Conf North </div><div style="text-align: center;">Average attendance 2010/11: 346<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Who are Glaaaaaarstar?</b></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;Despite being formed in 1883, it took six years for Gloucester to bother with going competitive. Like so many others, they got into the rhythm of joining all sorts of regional leagues until joining the Southern League in 1939. It then took the Gloucestrians a wait 'til after World War Two to see where things would take them. The stand-out factoid from their early years was in 1937/38, when striker Reg Weaver netted 67 goals in all competitions, making Ross Hannah look like a Jägerbomb-fuelled Nigel Jemson.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Post-war, Glaaaaaarstar quickly surfaced in the proper, big-boy rounds of the FA Cup, beating Tottenham Hotspur 2–1 in 1952 in front of 10,000 or so. Promotion to the Southern Premier came in 1969 and again in 1982, and again in 1989. The following season, they held Cardiff City to a Second Round replay in the FA Cup and began to aim for the Conference National. It came within a whisker in 1991 when SPL promotion rivals Farnborough scored a winner in their game against Atherstone to pip Glaaaaaarstar and their travelling hordes at Bromsgrove, the fans already invading the pitch in some vain joy. Further cup frolics came in 1997 as Dagenham &amp; Redbridge beat them in the FA Trophy's semi-finals, a distraction to losing out on promotion to the Conference again to rivals Cheltenham Town.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">It will be here that I crack on with what has afflicted Glaaaaaarster more than anything: its blasted location. In July 2007 the River Severn burst its banks once again, flooding their Meadow Park ground once and for all. The Tigers had previously been waterlogged numerous times, Meadow Park being their <i>ninth</i> ground. FC United can't even get one built. The Severn's floods almost wiped the club off the map on numerous occasions due to countless brief exiles and unpaid players walking out. Convinced they'll never be done over again, the current rainforest at Meadow Park plans to be rebuilt into some flood-proof barracks, and the worrying term "community stadium" has been coyly thrown in there—early promises of a soulless San Generico-type ground, perhaps?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Glaaaaaarstar won the SPL play-offs to find themselves at their highest level yet in latitude as well as prestige. The furore of such a southern outfit playing in the North half of step 2 has been much-bitched about, and subsequently forgotten about now the obscenely southern Bishop's Stropford have joined us. The pain of travelling for the rest of us has been lessened slightly by Gloucester's latest exile bringing them slightly up north to Cheltenham Town's place. Personally, Following the Shaymen prefers West Country cider to Home Counties Pimm's, so an away day is an away day, unless it's an away night in the mid-winter with an assignment to hand in the next morning.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The ground</b></span></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Qv_dA-wTlxg/TgPgRgeo8AI/AAAAAAAAAFw/KcLe0fyfiKI/s1600/gloucesterguide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Qv_dA-wTlxg/TgPgRgeo8AI/AAAAAAAAAFw/KcLe0fyfiKI/s1600/gloucesterguide.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sources <a href="http://www.tigerroar.co.uk/">1</a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mancunian1001/">2</a> <a href="http://www.bing.com/maps/">3</a></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eKnLmNBTqjQ/TgNGqcil22I/AAAAAAAAAFs/5fIBGjpnzBI/s1600/gloucesterguide2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eKnLmNBTqjQ/TgNGqcil22I/AAAAAAAAAFs/5fIBGjpnzBI/s1600/gloucesterguide2.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sources <a href="http://www.peter-fielding.blogspot.com/">1</a> <a href="http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/">2</a> <a href="http://www.uncertainworld.com/%20">3</a></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">So, it's a ground a few of us can remember from the pre-Sat Nav age. Cheltenham's unit will look much more abandoned with 500 or so Gloucestrians and Haligonians dotted about the place, wondering what their younger selves would've thought of this, but there could surely be a way of rehearsing the Town choir after this season's longest trip.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Meadow Park is pictured in part for posterity. The 21-year stay there gave Glaaaaaarstar a fairly brief identity of their own. It will however be a good few years before the Tigers next have something to roar about (a parish periodical-standard pun right there).<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The town</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Cheltenham was the home of the Tories' choice composer Edward Elgar, a football man himself who once wrote a piece inspired by watching Wolves play: proving somewhat that supporting yer local team has never been very well embraced. All evidence points towards Cheltenham being as southern as fook: horse racing, natural springs, Michelin-star eateries, cultural festivals, a French-named district containing millionaires' townhouses, and being voted as a decent place to live. If we can't afford to assimilate for the day then we may have to be our own tourist attractions.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">For the ambitious, cross-country trains meet Cheltenham from Leeds and occasionally Manchester Piccadilly.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Will we need to segregate?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">*cough*</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.gloucestercityafc.com/"><b>OFFICIAL SITE</b></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><a href="http://www.tigerroar.co.uk/history.php">TIGER ROAR - FANSITE </a></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://cof.tigerroar.co.uk/"><b>GIVE THEM A GOOD TALKING TO</b></a><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Won't you please <b>l</b><b>eave a comment?</b></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-29643836351517918272011-06-15T02:02:00.005+01:002011-07-10T22:34:58.084+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide IX: GUISELEY AFC.<div style="text-align: center;">Nethermoor Park<br />Otley Road<br />Leeds<br />LS20 8BT</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E_U9egb0zMg/TfDkommZiGI/AAAAAAAAAEY/2J63Q20IS0w/s1600/droylsdenbadge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-o2vEwCUJSDo/TfgFQxku8HI/AAAAAAAAAFg/qTs76zyk__k/s1600/disguiseley.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-o2vEwCUJSDo/TfgFQxku8HI/AAAAAAAAAFg/qTs76zyk__k/s200/disguiseley.gif" width="200" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PVvQqbaUrm4/TcqgRZxVW_I/AAAAAAAAACY/SA8zr72azO0/s1600/bostonunitedbadge.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Nickname</b></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Lions</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But we call them</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Disguiseley, Harry Ramsden AFC</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Billy basics </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Managers: Steve Kittrick, Chris Holland</div><div style="text-align: center;">Founded: 1909 </div><div style="text-align: center;">2010/11: 5th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2009/10: 1st, Northern Premier League</div><div style="text-align: center;">2008/09: 4th, Northern Premier League</div><div style="text-align: center;">Highest position: 2010/11: 5th, Conf North </div><div style="text-align: center;">Average attendance 2010/11: 472<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Who are Harry Ramsden AFC?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Harry Ramsden AFC didn't just form for the <i>halibut</i>. Oh no, they were really <i>salmon</i> else, an amateur team formed by local "enthusiasts" and full of that non-league <i>sole</i>. <i>Skate</i>-ing from the Wharfedale League to the Leeds League right over to the West Riding County League in the first few decades of the 20th century. They kept a <i>brill</i>-iant record in the various West Riding leagues, winning championships and the local Wharfedale Cup nine times out of ten in the '60s. The <i>whiting</i> was on the wall for the West Yorkshire league when they caught a <i>whiff</i> of the Yorkshire League, finding a <i>plaice</i> in its top tier in the late '70s, <i>hooking</i> up the West Riding Challenge Cup thrice in a row.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">In 1982 they <i>scampi</i>-d off to the newly-formed NECL Premier League, taking a couple of <i>pikes</i> at the promotion spot before getting there fo' real in 1991. They reached the FA Vase final in '90, '91 and '92, and were <i>squids</i> in when they won it on their promotion season. Success abounded and the Guiseley faithful were <i>clam</i>-ing for more. It came when they won promotion to the top tier of the Northern Premier League in 1994. <i>Haddock</i> they reached the end of their boundless success? Oh my <i>cod</i>, of course not! In their first NPL season, <i>dab</i>-handed Guiseley earned an FA Cup 1st Round tie against Carlisle United at Valley Parade in front of 6,548 fans, but were <i>battered</i>.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Guiseley then <i>flounder</i>-ed in 2000 when they were relegated back to the NPL Division 1 North, but fans couldn't be too <i>trout</i>-faced when league restructuring saw them in the Premier again in 2004. The Conference North promotion bid had begun, but something started to smell <i>fishy</i>. The fish smell turned out to be one of burning: their main stand was subject to an arson attack in 2008 that would've cost something to the <i>tuna</i> £20,000 to mend. The ruined stand clearly needed a good <i>sturgeon</i>. It didn't take long for Guiseley to confront the problem and <i>mullet</i> over; a replacement 300-seater stand was built in 2009.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Guiseley got their latest <i>bite</i> of success in 2010 as they <i>perch</i>-ed at the top of the Northern Premier League on the final day of the season, and became a <i>minnow</i> in the Conference North. This lowly status was a <i>red</i> <i>herring</i>: they earnt a 5th place in 2010/11, bowing out of the play-offs in the final at AFC Telford United's <i>plaice</i> <i>(you've already done that one - Ed.)</i>. Guiseley continue their search for an umpteenth promotion in the 2011/12 season, and are currently preparing their home-<i>bass</i> for Conference National standard football. Tinpot? Guiseley frankly don't give a <i>pollock</i>. They're officially the second most threatening Conference North team in West Yorkshire.</div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The ground</b></span></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2sAONRboXzg/Tff0BoaKhcI/AAAAAAAAAFc/4y7kNSoAasc/s1600/guiseleyguide.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2sAONRboXzg/Tff0BoaKhcI/AAAAAAAAAFc/4y7kNSoAasc/s1600/guiseleyguide.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sources <a href="http://thegroundhog.wordpress.com/2008/09/29/guiseley-afc/">1</a> <a href="http://www.tigerroar.co.uk/guiseley.php">2</a></td></tr></tbody></table>Enough with the fish puns (the only reason being I've run out of them). The idea of Guiseley's ground being in the Conference National in its old form would blow claims of Throstle Nest being a garden shed straight out of the water. The new main stand is a smallie of course, and a temporary stand beside it has been added, as well as a few steps behind the adjacent Railway End. With this in mind it's all-systems-go at Nethermoor Park for competing in a national league for the first time in their increasingly-successful history.<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The town</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />You guessed it—Guiseley is home to Britain's best-loved and largest fish and chips restaurant: big ol' Harry Ramsden's. Where else would you go? Guiseley itself is a Leeds 'burb in all honesty, the ground located on the Otley Road that goes straight up from the University. That's more or less it. The ground is just up from the station with frequent trains from Leeds, as well as buses.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Will we need to segregate?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">With just 200 or so stuck in a corner of the New Bucks Head on their big play-off final day, it seems as if our nearest Conference neighbours won't be prepared to pack out San Shayro.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://guiseleyafc.co.uk/"><b>OFFICIAL SITE</b></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://gafcforum.proboards.com/"><b>TRY FORGING A MINOR LOCAL RIVALRY HERE</b></a><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Be part of history, <b>l</b><b>eave a comment.</b></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-90024853093043897202011-06-15T00:26:00.001+01:002011-07-10T22:35:46.072+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide VIII: GAINSBOROUGH TRINITY FC.<div style="text-align: center;">Gainsborough Trinity FC<br />Northolme<br />Gainsborough<br />Lincolnshire<br />DN21 2QW</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E_U9egb0zMg/TfDkommZiGI/AAAAAAAAAEY/2J63Q20IS0w/s1600/droylsdenbadge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BBVsRh5J8jQ/TffeEnmIw-I/AAAAAAAAAEs/10i4pyeAfeM/s1600/gainsboring.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BBVsRh5J8jQ/TffeEnmIw-I/AAAAAAAAAEs/10i4pyeAfeM/s1600/gainsboring.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_OzNZ9fkZbc/TfEAOHeM8uI/AAAAAAAAAEc/gZbGqgRsWeY/s1600/eastwoodbadge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PVvQqbaUrm4/TcqgRZxVW_I/AAAAAAAAACY/SA8zr72azO0/s1600/bostonunitedbadge.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Nickname</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Holy Blues, The Recreationists, Trinity</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But we call them</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Gainsboring, Tinpot Trinity </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Billy basics </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Managers: Brian Little, Gavin Ward</div><div style="text-align: center;">Founded: 1873 </div><div style="text-align: center;">2010/11: 18th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2009/10: 14th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2008/09: 13th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">Highest position: 2004/05, 2006/07: 11th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">Average attendance 2010/11: 378<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Who are Gainsboring?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Pub teams? In the Conference North? Nuh-uh! Only if you're Droylsden. Gainsboring can be considered summin' else entirely: a church team. A frackin' <i>posh</i> church team of that, set up by Old Harrovian vicar G.L. Hodgkinson. And did this bring them riches? Did the Northolme become holy ground? Read on, dear non-leaguer.<br /><br />Gainsboring were precocious in the little success they've had, earning a Third Round tie in the FA Cup way back in 1887, and ever since they've regularly met the giants in the FA Cup, but just haven't got around to killing them yet. Just a couple of years later they also won the Lincolnshire Senior Cup, and have repeated this success another seventeen times. They always have won the odd regional trophy and little beyond. In the league however, they have the most average of stories.<br /><br />Previously on this "Alternative" Away Guide, I mentioned Spartizan Blythe have never been relegated. Well, Gainsbore haven't either. And neither have they been promoted. Gainsboring joined the Midland League in 1889, earning <i>election</i> to the old Division Two in 1896. They became non-league again six years later after being <i>voted out</i>, rejoining the Midland League. Over the decades they were <i>champions</i> of the Midland League thrice, but to football's decision-makers at the time, actual <i>promotion</i> was something that happened to other teams in other leagues. They were <i>founder members</i> of the Northern Premier League in 1969, where they stayed like dry rot until becoming <i>founder members</i> of the Conference North in 2004. In recent times the Bores have cried "Enough!" to this mediocrity, bringing a few professionals in including new gaffer Brian Little. The result? Further mediocrity that included last season's relegation battle.<br /><br />Nonetheless, the money carries on being pumped through by the shilling at Gainsborough. Fresh, cherub-like youthful faces have been added to the squad's make-up as well as Football League dropouts, and in a completely unwarranted move, plans are being made by chairman Peter Swann to build a 4,000-seater stadium elsewhere in Gainsborough. After a few years of planning it over and still without a site in mind, this move smacks of optimism.<br /><br />Among the Grimsby, Boston, Lincoln and Scunthorpe rejects, a young Neil Warnock once ran laps at the Northolme.</div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The ground</b></span></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VfVr-FNi_QM/TffhiDSd4OI/AAAAAAAAAEw/k3DeK6WEYXk/s1600/gainsboringguide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VfVr-FNi_QM/TffhiDSd4OI/AAAAAAAAAEw/k3DeK6WEYXk/s1600/gainsboringguide.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sources <a href="http://wherestheteahut.blogspot.com/">1</a> <a href="http://maps.google.com/">2</a></td></tr></tbody></table>Moving seamlessly on, it seems a shame to let a stadium like this go to waste. At 138 years of age, The Northolme must be one of Britain's oldest intact footballing venues. The size is decent and mighty spacious for Gainsboring's 300 or so home fans, and even the parades of Shaymen may appear dotted over its terraces. We also get a sorta two-tier main stand and a promise of decent views. Plans to transport the few home fans they've got to a vast and somehow "self-sustaining" cavern elsewhere in the town would even make Park Ave's Bob Blackburn smile and nod pitifully.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jkk30WdMCHQ/TffpIMlHxPI/AAAAAAAAAE0/vsa3JhQKXuo/s1600/gainsboroughnewstadium.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jkk30WdMCHQ/TffpIMlHxPI/AAAAAAAAAE0/vsa3JhQKXuo/s320/gainsboroughnewstadium.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Models pose in an artist's impression of the new stadium.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The town</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Gainsborough is an historic market town on the River Trent home to 20,000 or so lapsed spud-farmers, and almost became England's capital city as recently as 1013. Since then it has resisted change to become a new town with tenuous links to Sheffield.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Aside from the club house, two pubs can be found in the town: the Horse &amp; Jockey and Elm Cottage, both on Church St. Trains can be taken from Leeds to Gainsborough with a transfer at either Meadowhall or Doncaster.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Will we need to segregate?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">That's just mean.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.gainsboroughtrinity.com/"><b>OFFICIAL SITE</b></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://trinityad.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=footballforum"><b>IS THIS FORUM ACTIVE OR NOT? IS THERE A DIFFERENCE?</b></a><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Break the awkward silence, <b>l</b><b>eave a comment.</b></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-71937032858889929302011-06-10T00:00:00.004+01:002011-07-10T22:35:31.933+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide VII: EASTWOOD TOWN FC.<div style="text-align: center;">Eastwood Town FC </div><div style="text-align: center;">Coronation Park<br />Chewton Street<br />Eastwood<br />Nottinghamshire<br />NG163HB</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E_U9egb0zMg/TfDkommZiGI/AAAAAAAAAEY/2J63Q20IS0w/s1600/droylsdenbadge.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_OzNZ9fkZbc/TfEAOHeM8uI/AAAAAAAAAEc/gZbGqgRsWeY/s1600/eastwoodbadge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_OzNZ9fkZbc/TfEAOHeM8uI/AAAAAAAAAEc/gZbGqgRsWeY/s320/eastwoodbadge.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PVvQqbaUrm4/TcqgRZxVW_I/AAAAAAAAACY/SA8zr72azO0/s1600/bostonunitedbadge.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Nickname</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Badgers</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>But we call them</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Clint</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Billy basics </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Manager: ?!</div><div style="text-align: center;">Founded: 1892 </div><div style="text-align: center;">2010/11: 4th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2009/10: 10th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2008/09: 1st, Northern Premier League</div><div style="text-align: center;">Highest position: 2010/11: 4th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">Average attendance 2010/11: 460<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Who are Clint?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Clint Eastwood existed for a couple of years in between the great wars before cropping up for good in 1953, this time as an outfit to be reckoned with for all other counties league teams. Indeed, nothing said "We're Eastwood and we're here" more than a home crowd of 2,723 at home to Enfield in a 1965 Amateur Cup tie. It was in 1971 that Clint began creeping up the leagues, going from the Midland Alliance, all the way up through however many North East Counties divisions there are, and into the Northern Premier League. A cheeky relegation back to the NECL came in 2003 but they returned on the rebound in 2004, rising to the NPL Premier in 2007 and to the Conference North in 2009.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The biggest developments have come in these past few years for Eastwood. A switch from volunteers to paid staff off the pitch has played a part in their attempt for Conference National football in the near future. A great FA Cup run during their last season in the NPL saw them beat SPL side Brackley Town, League Two's Wycombe Wanderers and bow out to Kettering Town in the Third Round. Yes, Kettering in the Third Round. Not even Scunthorpe or Cheltenham. Kettering.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">This season saw Eastwood finish 4th, a few weeks after failing to pass the ground grading regulations, allowing 6th-placed Guiseley a passport into them, despite being pretty damn tinpot themselves. It's like the really popular kid not inviting you to her birthday party, but letting in snot-faced Kevin from the year below who still shouts "WASSUUUUP?!?!" at everyone he meets. Luckily for us at least, their development plans for meeting the Conference National guidelines have not been sufficient in convincing their players to be patient, defender Haggerty even jumping ship to join the Shaymen. For Eastwood, the forthcoming season will be a challenge for them to pull off convincingly as the scaffold sprouts up across the ground with a skeletal first team.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>The ground</b></span></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ca9YOZao7F8/TfFQMb7fx4I/AAAAAAAAAEg/_FSRiIIGnqs/s1600/eastwoodguide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ca9YOZao7F8/TfFQMb7fx4I/AAAAAAAAAEg/_FSRiIIGnqs/s1600/eastwoodguide.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sources <a href="http://footballgroundguide.ipbhost.com/index.php?showtopic=22409">1</a> <a href="http://www.eastwoodtownfc.co.uk/index.php">2</a></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Currently Coronation Park is two small seated stands and two small terraces behind either goal. All but the main stand is scheduled for redevelopment however, in order to bump up the capacity to 5,000, should it ever be needed for a town marginally larger than Elland. Its presence in the community will be boosted and large terraced stands are planned behind either goal. For now it should be alright, provided it isn't raining.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>The town</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />It's another smallie, and an ex-mining town on the border between Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire. Decent pubs are as yet unknown, but a museum dedicated to the native author D.H. Lawrence stands, as well as a bleakly large retail centre which I'll mention and plainly refuse to recommend, but it's there if you want a shiny new box to sit on.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">By public transport, you can either get to Nottingham by train after exchanging at Wakefield Westgate or Leeds, and Eastwood itself is without a station. Do whatever you did to reach Hucknall. It's probably exactly the same place in real terms.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Will we need to segregate?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Doubt it.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.eastwoodtownfc.co.uk/index.php"><b>OFFICIAL SITE</b></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://unofficialbadgers.forumotion.com/"><b>TRAWL THE DEPTHS OF THEIR FANS' COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS</b></a><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>L</b><b>eave a comment, </b>especially if you have a pub to recommend.<b><br /></b></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-10086340679120280062011-06-09T17:24:00.001+01:002011-07-10T22:36:36.333+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide VI: DROYLSDEN FC.<div style="text-align: center;">Droylsden FC </div><div style="text-align: center;">Butchers Arms Ground<br />Market Street<br />Droylsden<br />Manchester<br />M437AW<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E_U9egb0zMg/TfDkommZiGI/AAAAAAAAAEY/2J63Q20IS0w/s1600/droylsdenbadge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="319" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E_U9egb0zMg/TfDkommZiGI/AAAAAAAAAEY/2J63Q20IS0w/s320/droylsdenbadge.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PVvQqbaUrm4/TcqgRZxVW_I/AAAAAAAAACY/SA8zr72azO0/s1600/bostonunitedbadge.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Nickname</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Bloods</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But we call them</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Dresden</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Billy basics</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>&nbsp;</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">Managers: Dave Pace, Dave Pace and Dave Pace</div><div style="text-align: center;">Founded: 1892 </div><div style="text-align: center;">2010/11: 8th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2009/10: 5th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2008/09: 7th Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">Highest position: 2007/08: 24th, Conference National. Swag.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Average attendance 2010/11: 311<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Who are Dresden?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">In the 1800s, in a pub somewhere in Ashton, there lived a landlord. He had a pleasant joint with a sizable beer garden round the back. Sadly for him though, it was always occupied by a group of schoolchildren having a good old kickabout. Furious about this, the landlord stomped his feet and gnashed his teeth at them, confiscating any ball that rolled his way. But the boys would still come, hoofing the ball here and there on the well-cut lawn, chatting and chortling amongst themselves. But the landlord had had enough. On his last straw, he erected a sign: "No Ball Games."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Overnight, the beer garden turned from a summery haven full of birdsong and children's playful screams, to a wint'ry cow field full of crabgrass and potholes. It was muddy, frosted over and abandoned. It was in such a state that even a Prescot Cables fan couldn't identify it as a worthy playing field. Eventually, even his most trustworthy clientele stopped coming to the pub, and the landlord was on the verge of selling his wife to a slimy suitor from Skelmersdale.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;">The landlord then took a sudden turn. He uprooted his No Ball Games sign and opened the back gate for the children to enjoy playing on the lawn once again. Overnight the beer garden went again from dead to alive. The children were happier than ever to have a kickabout, his pub was making roaring trade, and his wife was giving him the best sex ever. One day years later, the now elderly and ailing landlord hobbled into the garden with a pint of Joseph Holt's finest, and with a new generation of children still playing football around him, he expired. How the children wept around him, The Selfish Landlord who became a grandfather to them all, the youngest boy wrapping a string of fresh sausages around his neck. With that, they tried to take themselves more seriously and formed a club in his honour. That club became Droyslden FC, and they play in that beer garden today, The Butcher's Arms.&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Since the landlord's demise, the grounds have again turned into a desolate, wint'ry, empty area devoid of anything human.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">In the late '90s though, everything went on the up again. Manager, Chairman and Utter Football Genius Dave Pace™ took over and won them the NPL First Division North championship in 1998/99, before they became founder members of the Conference North in the 2004/05 season. They became champions of said division in the 2006/07 season, and enjoyed a season of Conference National members moaning, "THAT thing passed the ground grading requirements?" The stay was cut short due to them being so abject that they only took three points off the debilitating Halifax Town FC over the entire season. They have remained in the Conference North for three better-than-average seasons. Utter Football Genius Dave Pace™manages them to this date. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The ground</b></span></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4q0WewC7fYY/TfDidG_ZHLI/AAAAAAAAAEU/VfBKZJ3ty4Q/s1600/dresdenguide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4q0WewC7fYY/TfDidG_ZHLI/AAAAAAAAAEU/VfBKZJ3ty4Q/s1600/dresdenguide.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture sources <a href="http://www.telfordutd.co.uk/">1</a> <a href="http://maps.google.com/">2</a> 3</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div style="text-align: center;">The Butcher's Arms is a vaguely famous footballing venue. For it is the tradition that, for one home game every season, Bloods fans are invited to turn up in butchers overalls and walk around a stadium sprinkled with sawdust. Whether they want to have a butchers at the on-field performance is another matter. However, they have recently been banned from spraying each other with blood, as was the tradition. It's political correctness gone mad!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">For the interested Town fan, there's the elevated main stand pictured above, a small terrace going down the opposite touchline and a nicely-sized terrace behind one goal. Behind the other goal is plain ol' hard standing. Last time I visited, someone had kindly left a tenner on the ground for me.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The town</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Uh-oh. It's the most innercity Tameside town there is. Droylsden is packed with Mancunians overflowing from the city centre and in the small town itself, there's little to write home about, partly due to the overflow including a criminal element. Those who have rose above the rabble include Communist Party leader Harry Pollitt and budding Manchester United forward Danny Welbeck.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">There is no train station in Droylsden and there may as well be no police station either. Take a bus either from Ashton or the city centre.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Will we need to segregate?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Nah.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.droylsdenfc.com/"><b>OFFICIAL SITE</b></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.phpbbplanet.com/bloodsindepende/viewforum.php?f=11&amp;mforum=bloodsindepende"><b>THE BLOODS FORUM, IF YOU GET THAT DESPERATE</b></a><br /><b> <a href="http://www.droylsdenfc.co.uk/index.php">REDUNDANT FANSITE</a></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>L</b><b>eave a comment </b>reminding me how I'm a lazy journo.<b><br /></b></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-20660606390678127902011-06-09T15:47:00.004+01:002011-07-10T22:36:16.921+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide V: CORBY TOWN FC.<div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zbmOtYWklyg/TfDdIMzq9DI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/G1jFgbE-WLU/s1600/corbytownfc.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zbmOtYWklyg/TfDdIMzq9DI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/G1jFgbE-WLU/s320/corbytownfc.png" width="285" /></a></div><br /><br />Meh. I did try with Corby. I tried to come up with a "theme" for them to see if that could get things going, but it just made me lose interest in this whole Away Guide enterprise. The best nickname I could come up for them was the Trouser Presses. In short, they bored me, like if Maroon 5 had their own football club.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I got this far and yes, there is a typo:</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c4wQ6W_Kx6o/TfDbdTkjpnI/AAAAAAAAAEM/95YWKYavCbU/s1600/corbyguide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c4wQ6W_Kx6o/TfDbdTkjpnI/AAAAAAAAAEM/95YWKYavCbU/s1600/corbyguide.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">That's their ground, that is. All two sides of it. There is no photographic evidence of a further two sides existing. They've just moved into it from Rockingham Triangle, a sub-Bradford PA one-standed Olympic track affair where they've been for 26 years, straddling between exile and actually calling it a home.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">This however, is all in their plan to aim for Conference National football. Will they get it? Well, FTS readers, stay on standby.</div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-37751272415144531532011-05-27T01:27:00.005+01:002011-07-10T22:37:29.103+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide III: BOSTON UNITED FC.<div style="text-align: center;">Boston United FC </div><div style="text-align: center;">The Jakemans Stadium<br />York Street<br />Boston<br />Lincolnshire<br />PE21 6JN</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PVvQqbaUrm4/TcqgRZxVW_I/AAAAAAAAACY/SA8zr72azO0/s1600/bostonunitedbadge.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PVvQqbaUrm4/TcqgRZxVW_I/AAAAAAAAACY/SA8zr72azO0/s200/bostonunitedbadge.png" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Nickname</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Pilgrims</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>But we call them</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Buston, Boscum (all in your best worst New England accent)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Billy basics</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Managers: Jason Lee, Lee Canoville</div><div style="text-align: center;">Founded: 1933 </div><div style="text-align: center;">2010/11: 3rd, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2009/10: 3rd, Northern Premier League (promoted)</div><div style="text-align: center;">2008/09: 16th, Northern Premier League (wholly embarrassed)</div><div style="text-align: center;">Highest position: 2005/06, 2003/04: 11th, League Two</div><div style="text-align: center;">Average attendance 2010/11: 1391<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Who are Buston United?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">For most readers, less needs to be explained for Buston due to their infamy gained over the past decade or so. Though Boston United were formed in 1933, a team representing Boston has been playing at York St. since 1887. They were basically a pub team until their winding up in 1933, and were succeeded by a team of semi-professionals. These part-time pals eventually found something worth recording in the books when they beat Derby County at the Baseball Ground in 1955/56 by six goals to one. No non-league team has beat a league team at their patch by such a margin since, and Derby continue to humiliate themselves to this date.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">By now a really massive Midland League team, they went up to the Southern League in 1958. They yo-yoed down and up again for a decade until joining the new Northern Premier League, won it four times before joining the Alliance Premier League in 1979, losing in the FA Trophy final to Wealdstone in 1985.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Their pilgrimage across the non-league stopped in all sorts of places until the "larger than life" "ex-Stamford AFC" "man" Steve Evans stepped in in 1998. Boston then went from a relegation battle in the Southern Premier to runners-up that season, reached the Quarter Finals of the FA Trophy and were promoted to the Conference the following season. On their second season there they turned professional, winning the title on goal difference and beginning the 2002/03 season in League Two. Evans was then mysteriously banned for 20 months before returning to the helm, and it took until the 2006/07 season for it all to fall apart wholly.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Right then. For those who don't know. Evans was convicted of signing players on contracts worth up to 10 times less than what he actually payed them, in order to dodge tax. During the FA inquiry where these truths were found out, Evans bribed a witness to mislead the FA. For Boston this meant a £100,000 fine and a deduction of four points. Returning to the club in Feb '04, Evans was eventually convicted for fraud during his first term in charge. In trail, Evans finally pleaded guilty and then-club owner Malkinson was forced to pay back the owed tax. Incredibly, Steve Evans was allowed to stay with the club, before resigning in May 2007. It then took him less time to join Crawley Town than it probably takes him to get banned from the dugout/have a dump. Again, he has brought a non-league team into the Football League for the first time through the help of much £££s and a Fifth Round FA Cup game at Man United's place. Again, Evans' new club is being admired by the big boys as a plucky non-league side that done good. Again, the clued-up fans beg to differ.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Meanwhile, actual Boston fans were left downtrodden, relegated to the Conference before being demoted to the Conference North in the same season. Most of their players fled. The Northern Premier League then called after a further demotion the following season for failing to escape administration. With solvency and dignity just around the corner, they won promotion in 2009/10 to the Conference North once more, missing out in the play-off semis in 2010/11 to Leeds backwater Guiseley AFC. Here they stand now. Phew!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">With one of the biggest fanbases in the league, they will be aiming for promotion again, or at least acquit themselves better than they did over, all jokes aside, possibly the most poisonous man in lower league football. And now for a joke: football in Lincolnshire. What's with that, eh?<br /><br /><br /><b><span style="font-size: large;">STOP, just <i>stop</i>. Give us a <i>brief</i> write-up on Boston.</span></b></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Boston United are called the Pilgrims because they've appeared in more leagues than Halifax Town has missed business opportunities. This hasn't changed in their recent history, except in the past decade they've gone higher than ever before, with Steve Evans swindling them all the goddam way. It will take a while for the name "Boston United" to be associated with the description "a fairly solvent football club," but for the time being we're all going to call them Buston, as if nothing ever happened to us ourselves.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>The ground</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c6Kqm7ibRjA/TcqwyPXjKYI/AAAAAAAAACc/GkcoEtEtPC0/s1600/bostonguide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c6Kqm7ibRjA/TcqwyPXjKYI/AAAAAAAAACc/GkcoEtEtPC0/s1600/bostonguide.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture sources: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMd2ULULot8">1</a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/manc72/">2</a> <a href="http://maps.google.com/">3</a></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Despite being in use since the late 1800s, York St. was made what it is today after a failed election to the Football League in 1977 due to ground grading requirements. Alongside the Sydney Opera House and Sweden's Ice Hotel, it was unarguably one of the most ambitious architectural projects in the latter half of the 20th century, and it stands today as a Grade A stadium, capable of hosting league football. It now boats four handsome, old-school stands, including a large terrace behind one goal opened up when enough away fans find their way through the south Lincolnshire plains. Let's cram it.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>The town</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Boston is the state capital of Massachusetts, with over 4.5 million living in the surrounding metropolitan—oh wait. LOL!!!<br /><br />Boston, Lincolnshire is a town of 58,000. It is well-known for being the fattest town in the United Kingdom, where everybody who isn't classified as clinically obese is offered a trial for the club. Occasionally others are sent to play for Boston <i>Town</i> FC, a United Counties League affair established especially for dissenting fans of the Pilgrims. For Shaymen who realise "ecclesiastical" doesn't mean "of or pertaining to raisin-studded Mancunian cakes," St. Botolph's Church's tower, located in the town centre, is visible to all Lincs residents and the town's favourite landmark.<br /><br />Little else of Boston is known, so we asked some up-and-coming Bostonian rap talents to explain their town's appeal:<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/FMd2ULULot8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0' /></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />For the train user among us, trains can be taken from Leeds to Grantham, followed by Grantham to Boston. Otherwise Halifax–Leeds–Peterborough–Sleaford–Boston is your best bet. Whatever you do, good luck. For pubs, I am recommended the Ship Tavern and the Coach and Horses near the ground. There is a Wetherspoons in town also and the pub opposite the station is "supposed to be OK."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Will we need to segregate?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Probably! I'm promised a travelling contingent of 200.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.bufc.co.uk/"><b>OFFICIAL SITE</b></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.bufc.drfox.org.uk/forum/index.php"><b>TOY WITH THEIR FANS' EMOTIONS HERE</b></a><br /><b><a href="http://www.bufc.drfox.org.uk/barmy.ram">NICK A FANTASTIC "STEVE EVANS BARMY ARMY" RINGTONE HERE&nbsp;</a></b><br /><b><a href="http://ravingsofabostonboy.blogspot.com/">BLOG (RAVINGS OF A BOSTON BOY) </a></b><br /><b><a href="http://moreinhopethanexpectation.blogspot.com/">BLOG (MORE IN HOPE THAN IN EXPECTATION)</a></b><br /><b><a href="http://www.impstalk.co.uk/">FANSITE (IMPSTALK) </a></b><br /><b><a href="http://www.bufc.drfox.org.uk/">FANSITE (DR FOX)</a> </b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Tell me where I missed out a hyphen<b> by leaving a comment.</b></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-19083286870392139782011-05-27T01:27:00.004+01:002011-07-10T22:36:29.482+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide IV: COLWYN BAY FC.<div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="style29">Colwyn Bay Football Club </span><br /><span class="style29"> Llanelian Road</span><br /><span class="style29"> Old Colwyn</span><br /><span class="style29"> Conwy </span><br /><span class="style29"> LL29 8UN</span></div><span class="style29"></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cdmaFmLpGv4/Td7b05yfutI/AAAAAAAAAD8/S0f7T5v9wQk/s1600/colwynbayfc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cdmaFmLpGv4/Td7b05yfutI/AAAAAAAAAD8/S0f7T5v9wQk/s320/colwynbayfc.jpg" width="219" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PVvQqbaUrm4/TcqgRZxVW_I/AAAAAAAAACY/SA8zr72azO0/s1600/bostonunitedbadge.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Nickname</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Bay, The Seagulls</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But we call them</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Clown Bay, Throw-in Bay, Colon Bay, Cold Wind Bay</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Billy basics</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">Managers: Dave Challinor, Colin Woodthorpe</div><div style="text-align: center;">Founded: 1881 </div><div style="text-align: center;">2010/11: 2nd, Northern Premier League</div><div style="text-align: center;">2009/10: 4th, Northern Premier League Division One North (promoted via play-offs)</div><div style="text-align: center;">2008/09: 4th, Northern Premier League Division One North</div><div style="text-align: center;">Highest position: 2010/11: 2nd, Northern Premier League</div><div style="text-align: center;">Average attendance 2010/11: ~400<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Who are Throw-in Bay?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">"Teams representing" Throw-in Bay have been cropping up here and there since 1881, making them one of Wales' oldest clubs. Little-to-nothing is known of them from way back then, as Welsh wasn't yet a written language because they were still busy making it as unreadable as possible etc etc etc cheap dig, cheap dig. They were part of the North Wales Coast League, lasting for 20 years up until its folding in 1921, when they went to the Welsh National League and then the North Wales Football Combination in 1930. They first saw the light in 1931 and entered the English football pyramid. The compromise? Absurdly being part of the Birmingham &amp; District League, where the average away trip was 120 miles plus. From an early stage, it seemed excusable to call Warrington a local derby. They went back into pretend-football in the Welsh League (North) following a few dismal seasons. They would stay with relative success in their Cymru bubble for nearly half a century.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">But in 1984, Throw-in Bay declared "fuck it" and won election into the North West Counties League Division Three, leaving their old Eirias Park base for their current Llanelian Road venue in old Colwyn. The next year they were in Division Two, and restructuring brought them into Division One two years later. Further success was found in 1992 as they won promotion to the Northern Premier League. However, at the time the crazy, crackpot League of Wales were campaigning against the more ambitious Welsh teams from becoming English teams. First Cardiff, Swansea, Newport and Wrexham, now even bloody Colwyn Bay, Caernarfon Town and "Dial M For" Methyr Tydfil were deserting them!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Throw-in Bay were defiant, having won a treble that season of Northern Premier League Division One championship, the NPL league cup and the North Wales Coast Cup. They went into exile at Northwich Victoria and Ellesmere Port, equivalent to the Shaymen going into exile at Northwich Victoria and Ellesmere Port. They managed to stay in their league and won the case against the League of Wales at London High Court in 1995. Success continued in the form of 1st/2nd Round competition in the FA Cup, but Throw-in were relegated to the NPL Division One in 2003.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Soon stabilising, they held their own in the NPL Division One and with the appointment of Geoff Cartwright's board in 2007, Conference-level football was promised in five years. And, unlike Simon Clifford's plans to get Garforth topping the Premier League by 2030 (no, he seriously said that), Cartwright was Cart-<i>right</i>!!!! A third play-off chase in 2009/10 saw them beat 96-pointers Lancaster City to join us in promotion to the Northern Premier League's top "flight," before they beat FC ESPN of Manchester in the play-offs this year to join us in promotion for the second consecutive season. And there's no sweeter sound than FC United fans finally shutting up.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Taken from possibly the wittiest post ever on theshaymen.net, "Eric Cantona was wrong. The seagulls don't follow the trawler. The Seagulls follow the Shaymen."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The ground</b></span></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hj-IZQB3G8Q/Td7cPXpsXuI/AAAAAAAAAEA/M_vEo8NtUwg/s1600/colwynguide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hj-IZQB3G8Q/Td7cPXpsXuI/AAAAAAAAAEA/M_vEo8NtUwg/s1600/colwynguide.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">There are no pictures of Throw-in Bay's old home. Not on Google Images anyway, chuck. This'll be the Shaymen's fourth consecutive season playing Bay in the league, so we all must know the place. Overlooked by a huge, sloping cow field are two small seated stands, a covered terrace behind one goal and some decent uncovered steps down the touchline. In order to meet Conference National standards, Throw-in plan to build on what they've got in the near future, Llanelian Road being a good venue for the NPL North, but an eensy weensy one for the Conference North.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>The town </b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">A stone's throw from the coast following a scenic trip along North Wales, Throw-in Bay are actually based in Old Colwyn, a village just outside the town. Old Colwyn boasts woodland that is said to be inhabited by fairies. Yep.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />Bay itself I'm assured is a scenic town of 30,000, though in the past Shaymen have made a resort out of nearby Llandudno for their weekend trips. I'm told by all means to avoid Rhyll, and to stay in Colwyn Bay rather than Old Colwyn for pre-match drinks.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The ground is a shade over 100 miles from the Shay. For the intrepid train passenger, take the Manchester Victoria train from Halifax. You can then either get directly to Colwyn Bay from the Piccadilly station, or stay at Victoria, changing at Newton-le-Willows for Colwyn Bay. Buses from Bay stop outside the ground.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Will they be anti-social, Welsh-speaking Taffs?!?!!@!</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">As has been my experience on the terraces, you may go the whole match without hearing any Cymric, which Blogspot amusingly tells me isn't a real word. 20% of Colwyn Bay's inhabitants are said to be fluent in Welsh, this figure almost doubling for school-age children. I could record many more Scouse accents, odd as that sounds, and the odd RP from the kids.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">In terms of friendliness, Bay fans have been genuinely some of the friendliest we've experienced as FC Halifax Town, so leave your xenophobic cap at home and settle yourself down in the clubhouse before the game. As always, we can choose to ignore this and chant "Always look in the fields for your wife" and "Sheep! Sheep! Sheep shaggers!" over and over again.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Will we need to segregate?</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Expect the usual 50 Bay fans and the odd inflatable seagull.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&amp;source=web&amp;cd=1&amp;sqi=2&amp;ved=0CCAQFjAA&amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.colwynbayfc.co.uk%2F&amp;rct=j&amp;q=colwyn%20bay%20fc&amp;ei=Vu_eTeCCNIKz8QPl4dGhCg&amp;usg=AFQjCNE4-VuCHo10749CFm5oA35TpKfdoQ&amp;sig2=_Rk3t3wmCWUbAECVim3gMw&amp;cad=rja"><b>OFFICIAL SITE</b></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><a href="http://cbfc.lefora.com/">MAKE THEM START TO REGRET FOLLOWING US HERE </a></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://youresupposedtobeathome.com/"><b>BLOG (YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT HOME) </b></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/ColwynBayFC"><b>TWITTER</b></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Join the outrage:<b> leave a comment!</b><b></b></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-44622964259886885962011-05-26T15:43:00.007+01:002011-05-27T01:33:38.803+01:00Open letter to Guiseley AFC.FC Halifax Town<br />The Shay Stadium<br />Halifax<br />West Yorkshire<br />HX1 2YT<br /><br />Dear Guiseley AFC,<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><u><b>REFERENCE: PROPER, NON-TINPOT RIVAL FOR FC HALIFAX TOWN</b></u></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>FC Halifax Town</b> thank you for your recent application following your play-off final loss at Atlético Telford. We have considered all applications and to be frank, no difficult choices had to be made. We have no history with Hyde, we don't want anything to do with Droylsden's Dave Pace, Stalybridge are just a park team in Ashton, and Boston are on the other side of the country.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Your application then turned up at the bottom of the mailbag, somewhere between a load of Jehovah's Witness pamphlets and a court summons for a fan following a chip-throwing incident at Ashton United last year. We took into consideration Guiseley being fairly local and likely to be in the mix next season but feh. You have no chance of being our rivals in your current guise.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As you are a rising Leeds-based non-league outfit, we can only see you as a subsidiary Farsley Celtic for the time being, until New Pudsey's biggest side eventually take your place again following their reformation in the NCEL last year. And let me tell you now, Farsley were pretty much the smallest side Halifax Town FC ever played in the league before we went bust ourselves. To comprehend any local rivalry smaller than ours and Farsley's would be like the human mind comprehending sub-atomic Planck lengths of space. Impossible.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Despite your assets including beating us in the FA Trophy the other year and again in the West Riding Something-or-Other Cup this year, attended by some 235 bored fans, lost souls and discarded polystyrene cups, we simply cannot see this as a footballing call-to-arms. It tends to help a rivalry along when the away fans don't outnumber the home fans 2:1 at Nethermoor Park. We weren't even interested in James Walshaw anyway. We're a football club, not a bunch of professional divers.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">And of course, we'll be very embarrassed if you actually end up beating us in any competition next season.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Best of luck in taking on any team bigger than Bradford Park Ave, and if you have any questions regarding this rejection, please don't actually contact FC Halifax Town, as they didn't have anything to do with writing this letter since this is in fact the blog of a Shayman fan who writes in a personal capacity. What are you, dense or something.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Lots of love,<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UUD3shOqlvA/Td5nm1Kn3hI/AAAAAAAAACo/zPwgs1LyEsI/s1600/plinyh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UUD3shOqlvA/Td5nm1Kn3hI/AAAAAAAAACo/zPwgs1LyEsI/s1600/plinyh.jpg" /></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The Management.</div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7464424599840657134.post-52291823154016142272011-05-10T00:23:00.006+01:002011-07-10T22:37:18.413+01:00Cack-Handed Away Guide II: BLYTH SPARTANS AFC.<div style="text-align: center;">Blyth Spartans AFC<br />Croft Park<br />Blyth<br />Northumberland<br />NE24 3JE&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R5ALt1YnRN8/TchkeiUOD9I/AAAAAAAAACM/XKYvVTzsRFM/s1600/blythspartans.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R5ALt1YnRN8/TchkeiUOD9I/AAAAAAAAACM/XKYvVTzsRFM/s1600/blythspartans.png" /></a> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Nickname</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Spartans</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">But we call them</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Spartizan Blythe</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Billy basics</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Manager: Mick Tait, ass. Chris Swailes (the ex-Bury, Doncaster and Ipswich one)</div><div style="text-align: center;">Founded: 1899 </div><div style="text-align: center;">2010/11: 9th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2009/10: 13th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">2008/09: 15th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">Highest position: 2006/07: 7th, Conf North</div><div style="text-align: center;">Average attendance 2010/11: ~450<br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Who are Spartizan Blythe?</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Apparently "the only team to have never been relegated," Spartizan have the pride and honour of being another club that specialise in giant killing. They got closer than the propaganda and lies behind Creepy Crawley did this 2010/11 season way back in 1977/78, when they took Wrexham to a replay in the 5th Round of the FA Cup. And like Crawley, they have a song to commemorate their success. The difference? Blyth's was actually good and catchy:</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/DxWgHlCgHXQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0' /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">In other notable efforts, they got to Reading in the 3rd Round in 1971/72, Stockport in 1995/96 in the 2nd Round, and at home to Blackburn Rovers in the 3rd Round in 2008/09, where a single goal and five leagues separated the two teams.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Even the most brainless supporter of The League of Foreign Millionaires wouldn't dismiss this ahem, plucky little non-league side as "shit," seeing as their history is seemingly unblemished with turmoil on or off the field. Going competitive in 1901, they prattled around in regional leagues until each one folded right before their eyes, until election to the Northern League in 1964. They remained here until 1994, already having been champions ten times and runners-up five times. After making it into the 1st Division of the Northern Premier League, they won a second consecutive promotion to the Premier Division. Despite missing the boat to the newly-established Conference North in 2004/05, they acted fast and earnt a place there in 2006. They've held their own here ever since.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">To top it off, amidst countless esoteric cups, Blyth reached the FA Trophy Quarter Finals in '80 and '83, way back in their Northern League days. Their ambition a different flavour to the Shaymen's, we'll see which can out-muscle the other. Their striker Paul Brayson was one of the team that merked us at Newcastle Blue Star in our first season in this guise, before Blue Star imploded to everyone's indifference, their players leaving for Blyth and Spennymoor. Now aged 33, it will be our duty to find him a suitable retirement home. A final Spartizan claim-to-fame has been something a little out of keeping with their boundless triumphs:</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/SaDci33GGzE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0' /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">The ground</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Q336aL4CJPU/TchkeGruTZI/AAAAAAAAACI/nssbNqB3R0Y/s1600/blythguide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Q336aL4CJPU/TchkeGruTZI/AAAAAAAAACI/nssbNqB3R0Y/s1600/blythguide.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture sources: <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/">1</a> <a href="http://footballgroundguide.ipbhost.com/">2</a> <a href="http://maps.google.com/">3</a></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Yes, boys and girls, that really is a two-tiered stand. The entrepreneurial heads of Blyth have taken advantage of their recent earnings by creating a Conference-standard stadium. In 2003 new seating and concrete terracing was put in place, followed by an extended roof and bottom-tier seating for their main Port of Blyth Stand in 2007. All stands are now covered, just for us lucky travelling Shaymen. If you arrive at a place a little smaller-looking, you may have arrived at the ground of the aggressively non-league Blyth <i>Town</i>. The ground is located by the seaside, but hopefully there won't be as much broken glass and used condoms littering the pitch as there will be on the beach. Let's at least hope the seagulls aren't fishing in this one.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">The town</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">130 miles from Halifax, getting to Blyth is a little more of a challenge than we've been used to. In Blyth, this translates to a derby: the poor bastards having to travel 90 and 100 miles respectively to get to local rivals Harrogate and Workington. It's a port town 15 miles up from Newcastle, so for those looking for a pub please stay in Blyth, and those looking for a night or seven of moral turpitude involving nearly-nekked Geordie lasses in Jägerbomb-freezing temperatures, please go to the Toon, not coming back until you've properly redeemed yourself. Either way, all Shaymen who will be patient enough with public transport will have to transfer at Newcastle. Trains run to the north-east from Leeds, and an overnight stay should be considered. And don't you even think of hitting the Toon with those dolly birds. They will never love you. Yes, I can tell you're thinking it. Just don't.<br /><br />Blyth itself speaks of fishing, lighthouses, post-coal-mining depression and the inevitable regeneration, in which every boarded-up discount shop in the Blyth Ward will be replaced by a milk bar full of southerners by 2015.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Will we need to segregate?</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">No.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://blythspartansafc.co.uk/"><b>OFFICIAL SITE</b></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&amp;source=web&amp;cd=2&amp;sqi=2&amp;ved=0CCEQFjAB&amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fspartanszone.com%2F&amp;rct=j&amp;q=blyth%20spartans%20forum&amp;ei=mHPITfvgMsHu-gbV-ISpBg&amp;usg=AFQjCNF-O5uoCEcIKXF_EXJkMDdEa95lZw&amp;sig2=6IuqJrDKn_w64o0BiqNK0w&amp;cad=rja"><b>PESTER A SPARTIZAN BLYTHE FAN HERE</b></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Give us a favourite local tipple or abuse us in your unsophisticated local dialect<b> by leaving a comment.</b></div>Pliny Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07787327771824464592noreply@blogger.com0