We are 3Ls - back in school and bitter as ever. While we all will be practicing in different areas after we graduate, one common bond unites us: we can't wait to be done. We come here to bitch and not do much else. So if you're looking for deep thoughts or insightful political commentary, find a different blog to read.

AssHusband Strikes Again.

I love my hubby, really I do. But sometimes, I want to punch him. But a figurative punch, not literal (for any of you future prosecutors out there.) The following conversation ensued:

Thursday

(AssHusband comes home from work with a bag from Target.)Me: What did you get?AssHusband: Oh, just some stuff I needed, and a toy.Me: Another Hot Wheel? (Yes, he collects Hot Wheels. At least he doesn't collect prostitutes.)AssHusband: Yeah. It's cool, wanna see it?!Me: Not really. You know, how come everytime you go to Target you get yourself some little present, and you never get me anything? (Seriously, he goes like once a week)AssHusband: ........

Friday(AssHusband comes home again with a bag from Target.)Me: You went to Target again?AssHusband: Yeah, I forgot something yesterday. And guess what?! I got you a present!! (Imagine this with a really excited and proud look on his face.)Me: (Kinda really excited) Oh yeah? What is it??AssHusband: Here! (And he reaches in, and pulls out.........an oven mitt.)Me: Is this an oven mitt?AssHusband: Yeah, we needed one, and look it's in your favorite color!Me: .............

1) Do not buy your wife/girlfiend an oven mitt as a gift.2) It does not count as a gift if we needed it in the first place.3) Again, an oven mitt is not a gift. It is not fun.4) Someone teach my husband the nuances of gift buying please. Larceny will forever be in your debt.

A great way to get on your wife's good side is to just buy a dozen roses when you go out and buy groceries for the household. As long as it is not [insert Hallmark holiday here], the dozen roses shouldn't cost you more than $15. And if she doesn't like roses, the other flowers are even cheaper.

Or, actually, knowing you a bottle of Jameson and some ginger ale would be a faster way to your heart.

PS - My own asshusband (let's call him butthead) just asked me what the latest blog post was about. His response after I told him: "But that is a really nice gift." Why do I have the feeling that I'll be getting a vacuum cleaner for my birthday?

Justice Ito,I think you are discounting the fact (yes, it's a fact in my vast experience) that women frown on inexpensive flowers. This reaction almost always is the result regardless of original intent.

I stand by my argument that a woman would rather receive flowers of any kind than an oven mitt (unless we are talking about the "ove glove"). Whatever happened to the concept "its the thought that counts"?

Except carnations Lance. Trust me. I see those, I know they cost at most 3 bucks. Also, to Calculating, AssHusband was quite amused by Butthead and proud of himself after that. Then again, at least a vacuum cleaner can do things.

"it's the thought that counts" is one of the biggest estrogen-initiated scams since "i'd really love to, but i have a headache." it was created so that you get them something, which they can then use as a relationship ruler to judge how much you really love them.

that said, my girlfriend has also said there's not much point in buying flowers, since they die after a few days anyway.

IronChef Foicite: well, there's a lot of reasonsIronChef Foicite: i mean, roses only last like a couple weeksIronChef Foicite: and that's if you leave them in waterIronChef Foicite: and they really only exist to be prettyIronChef Foicite: so that's like sayingIronChef Foicite: "my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance"IronChef Foicite: but a potato!IronChef Foicite: potatos last for fucking ever, manIronChef Foicite: in fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow shit even if you just leave them in the sackIronChef Foicite: that part alone makes it a good symbolIronChef Foicite: but there's more!IronChef Foicite: there are so many ways to enjoy a potato! you can even make a battery with it!IronChef Foicite: and that's like saying "i have many ways in which I show my love for you"IronChef Foicite: and potatos may be ugly, but they're still awesomeIronChef Foicite: so that's like saying "it doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you"

Well, there's so much to be said: First, flowers are nice, and if you put that little packet of stuff in the water and change the damn water once in a while, they'll last a long time. Mine from before Easter are still on the mantle, and not smelly or anything. Then again, the OveGlove rocks. You can totally put your hand right into boiling water (if you're into that sort of thing) and not even get burned. But a regular stupid oven mitt -- no good, that. Mr. Ito, does Dr. Ito now demand that you refer to her as "Dr.?" If so, I like her even more. Scalito, the Dyson never stops sucking, even when it's full. Think about that before purchasing. And John, I love you, but I think you have issues. The whole potato thing scares me.

We Came. We Were Snarky. We Disbanned.

The short story: we blogged pretty voraciously while in law school until halfway through our 3L year when law school drama interceded. We abruptly shut down, fearing exposure that would impact our full-time employment options.

Sometimes, there is, unfortunately, no humor in law school or the legal profession.

That was years ago. Since then, we're all gainfully employed. Of the LawBitches, one is a partner and two others are associates in small firms, two are solo practitioners, one works for the government, one is an in-house counsel, one work in non-traditional job in corporate America, and two are also adjunct professors at a law school.

The point is: we all survived. But if you ask us if we're happy? Or if we'd do it over again? Well, you'd get differing responses.

The bottom line: Before you decide to go to law school, be aware -- be very aware -- of what you are getting yourself into.