New Year's Eve is just another paycheck for most celebrities, particularly in this era in which "hosting" (i.e. attending an event at a club) is considered a career. So technically, Snooki's visible bra is simply office attire.

When someone wears thigh-high boots and a wig to work, they're a hooker…or Kim Zolciak. Tomato, tomahto. Emmy Rossum is festive in red, whereas Carson Daly's suit/coat fake out is a little dumpy. Do you think Karina Smirnoffmeant to look like the mirror ball trophy?

Look at these coos. And yes, I'm including Jim Bellino in that category. But seriously, aesthetically, the Real Housewives of Orange County are just slight variations of how a very lonely man would dress up his Real Doll to what he thinks is "sexy." Although I do appreciate that Gretchen Rossi's dress highlights of milk, milk, and lemonade.

Pauly D and Snooki hosted their own respective parties on New Year's Eve. Pauly served up "classic guido," pairing a T-shirt and jeans with about a quarter of a million dollars in jewels, while Snooki made a bit of a departure, dressing much more demurely than usual, with only her bra — not her panties — making an appearance.

It would appear that Vinny is trying to look like Johnny Depp at like a European film festival or something, but is failing all over. DTF? Not with those bangs, he ain't.

People got creative with their vaginas this year. Janice Dickinson covered hers up, while her friend Christina Fulton worked a metallic camel toe. Marc Bouwer toasted his with a glass of champagne, and Aubrey O'Day's was busy on an important call.

Princess Mary of Denmark was ridiculously over-accessorized. If she would've lost maybe two of those brooches, this would've been flawless. Her elephant necklace-which I'm sure has some sort of cultural significance-is probably the best piece of jewelry I've ever seen in my entire life.

It's difficult to view any of Lady Gaga's outfits as anything but costumes, since she seems to treat her entire life as a performance, but for the first time ever, I was actually really taken with something she was wearing as being legit beautiful: her all-white flowing cape/dress with matching fur throw (all of which she's dragging on the dirty NYC street).