Brothers
and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners, we are
gathered here in my little corner of the World Wide Web to entertain
the remote but inspiring possibility of peace on earth, good sex for
all.

I
am the Irreverend Dr. Susan Block, and no I'm not a medical doctor and
no, I'm not a psychologist, gynecologist, urologist or proctologist.
My doctorate is in philosophy, and my philosophy is Ethical Hedonism:
the Bonobo Way to Better Sex and Peace on Earth. ....Hallelujah!
Let the pleasures begin. .... Amen
and Awomen..... Please pass
the dildo bowl.

Life
is Just a Bowl of Dildos .. . Photo: Elise
Haber

Now, as you
may imagine, when I tell people "I'm an Ethical Hedonist," I get
a mélange of reactions. Some folks giggle and gape like they just saw
Miss Manners in a g-string (and, in a way, they have). Others
embrace me like a long lost sister speaking the native tongue they long to
hear. "YES!" they declare, "An Ethical Hedonist! That's what
I am!" or "That's what I want to be."

Then
there are the cynics and skeptics, the Doubting Thomases and Tomasinas who
squint at me in sly disbelief. "Ethical Hedonist? Isn't that, like, a
Compassionate Conservative? Or a Bourgeois Bohemian? I mean, isn't that, like,
an Oxymoron?" To
which I patiently but firmly reply. "No, but it creates a lot of Oxytoxin,
and if you can do it, you're definitely NOT a moron."

And
you can do it.
You can be an Ethical Hedonist, just as you can very easily be an
Unethical Puritan.
You can live a life
that values pleasure
and be a person of goodness and integrity, even a model citizen.
You can have your sex
and eat it too!
Hallelujah! Praise the Lord and the Lady!

BUT
mind your manners. Ethical Hedonism doesn't mean "anything goes"
or "if it feels good, screw it," damn the consequences, the kids,
the maid and the neighbors. You must respect the desires--or lack of desire--of
others.
Ethical Hedonism is a new/ancient etiquette for a society whose doors are
open to the World Wide Web in all its diverse, pansexual, multi-dimensional
glory, danger, fun and foolishness. It gently but firmly guides you toward
exploring and expressing your sexual, animal, pleasure-loving nature while
keeping the peace as civilized, considerate ladies and gentleman.

That, in a coconut shell, is the credo of the Dr. Susan Block Institute. It
is also, I believe, the emerging moral code of much of 21st century non-religious
society, a code that picks up where most organized religions leave off, a
code that abhors violence and repression and embraces diversity and freedom
of expression.

Knowledge
is the Key

In
the Bible, "to know" means "to have sex with." Adam and
Eve eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Nobody knows if the fruit was
really an apple, a fig, a plum or a date? What we do know is they have sex.

Knowledge
leads to sex. Knowledge comes from sex. Adam and Eve get to know
each other, gazing into each other's eyes, feeling each other's skins,
tasting each other's nectar, whispering into each other's ears, opening
up to each other, devouring each other, penetrating each other, sharing
each other's deepest recesses, pleasures, pains and yearnings, communing
as they consume the fruit of knowledge and each other.

Knowledge
is power. Sexual knowledge is sexual power. Socrates said "Know thyself."
Ethical Hedonism says: Know thy sex. Get to know it as well as you can. Get
to know your abilities and disabilities, your sexual skills and lacks, your
likes and pet peeves. Get to know your partner(s) too.

Sex
isn't easy to know, of course. Once you think you've got it, it slips away
like mercury. Or it stabs you in the back, kicks you out of Eden before you
can say "Where's that Snake?" But ignore it at your peril, certainly
at your loss. It is your greatest, most vital, powerful gift from God, the
Goddess, Nature, Space Aliens, Your Higher Power or Whatever You Believe In.
Explore it and express it with grace, compassion, responsibility, humility,
and fun--loads of fun (that's the hedonism part!).