hysterics is the new black

Attacked from Above

So the other night I had fallen asleep during a re-watch of Zoolander (one of my favorite guilty pleasures) from a full tummy of Mas Tacos (OMG, I cannot even begin to tell you how good that stuff is — I may have a new food addiction. Thanks, Megan!).

The Boone dog had to go out. I was so groggy I barely could figure out how to open the door. It was drizzling a little, so thankfully Boone was all business. All I had to do was stand out on the patio just at the edge of the awning and wait for him to finish before crashing for the night.

That’s when something touched my hair.

I was still so sleepy, I didn’t even think much other than, oh, the awning is touching my hair or wow the rain is picking up. I even had a brief thought that maybe one of the bats flew a little too close and I felt it.

Was it ninjas sent to assassin me for knowing too much? Zombies – the thinking, fast kind of course, to get above me? Possums on a rampage? Squirrels from the gutter?

Yes, I actually thought those things, and in that order. Hey, I’d just been asleep and dreaming and while the adrenaline woke up my body, I think my brain was still working at the reptile / early brain level.

Turns out, Mac the cat was just hanging ON TOP OF THE AWNING and had pawed me over the edge. As cats are wont to do, I suppose.

What. The. Hell.

I have no idea how he got up there. Had he been on the roof, too? No idea. Once I realized he was up there, I tried to get him down, and he didn’t seem like he was stuck or all that interested in coming down. Mac was thrilled with taunting me over the edge of the awning and through a seam that has apparently come apart.

I finally had to stand on a chair and grab him down.

Mac the cat seemed quite pleased with himself, and spent the rest of the night cuddled up with me on the bed. His every movement woke me up at high alert.

Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well the rest of the night.

This photo of the awning above the doors going out to my patio will provide some background to the story. When I stand just under the edge of the awning, it’s about a hands width / kitty paw length above my head.