Friday, 20 August 2010

Saved by the doll

Today the dollies waggled down the catwalk. Those scruffy, worn out rag dolls, home-made years ago on a tired toddler afternoon while the rain poured down.

While I have sank, they have endured. I could learn from their embroidery smiles, their sewn-on pink noses, their glued open felt eyes, if I wasn't driven half mad by the love they attract.

And what love! If only that was mine! You have beautiful hair. You look fantastic in this dress.

I could spit. And such devotion and attention is brought to mend all their tiny wounds in their stretchy fabric skin; one by one, thread and glue and wire. Recovering, they have soft beds to recline on, covers, pillows and cuddles. Jealous, I call them the Arseface dollies, and whisper cruel words at their sewn up mouths after bedtime.

They travel everywhere with us, those dollies, squashed into sacks and bags, cases and boxes. Out they burst at every destination; thrown into Northumberland rockpools, tossed towards Suffolk clouds, rolled down Dorset hills. Dirtier, scruffier, bent in more places, every time. Loved just as before.

I let them stay, and endure them, because I can make them a sacrifice to my god of education. I show a page on how your breathing works. Squirrel quietly steals her rag doll away, opens her up, and performs surgery. Vanessa now has a wine cork for a brain, a red bead for a heart, and two glitter pom poms for lungs. I discover her in intensive care and talk arterial veins and pleural cavities. Squirrel, horrified, grabs her dolly and flees. But I hear on the doctor net that soon she is to acquire a balloon for a bladder. Oh the fun to be had, squeezing out pee! Covertly, I shall work on kidneys, and make up a song about excretion. And wombs. The arseface dollies should know what it is to have a womb cut about and pieces of it thrown away.

Of course I have threatened to throw the dollies out. Time and time again. You don't need them anymore. You're aged ten. Isn't that enough?

And still the dollies stay. They laugh at me and swing by their plaited string hair. They curl up their boneless arms. They twirl on their pointed painted toes, where the stuffing falls out, and the stitches break open. Silently, I think one day I'll shove you in a plastic bag, and hide you behind the sink, where you can't be found. Then I'll wrestle back the love that should be mine. And when you, teenage daughter, abuse me in my old age, I shall recover your doll, waggle it at your boyfriend, and watch your face.

But I take it all back. There's a place in my mouth I keep especially to chew on words I speak, words I eat up again, and don't spit out, no matter how unpleasant the taste.

The rag dolls save the day. Tiger leaves aside her unhappiness. She sits with Squirrel for hours, cutting up fabric, snip, snip, snip; stitching it together, sew, sew, sew; making little dresses for the little dollies; all their new clothes, ever so many, so much enjoyment, so much satisfaction; torn up fabric off the shoulders, pinned at the waist, tied with a knot at the back. They take to the catwalk, fabric unattached, fraying, dropping off, pieces all held together by Tiger's little hand, with a joyful laugh and a happy face. Twirl around your thick string hair, point your unstitched toes, and take a bow, rag doll.

8 comments:

I still have a scruffy rag doll from around 1970. I had 'right-on' parents ('till me Dad did the off )so dolly is of an unknown ethnic origin, made with Orange and Brown psychedelic printed fabric.... by hand with a potato.

my eldest only has the hat of her doll left. Or better, my eldest only has the holes in the hat of her doll left. And the smell. We are not allowed to wash it so it holds the smells of every tummy bug and wet bed of 13 years of love. I'm scared of the thing and find it slightly insulting that she rather holds that than gets a hug off me.

Hey Grit, here's a video that might cheer you up. In fact you've likely already seen it because people in the UK are outraged. A women walks down a street, sees a cat, stops, looks around then drops the cat into a trash bin. Now I love my 3 cats but there is something macabre that has me laughing in stitches, or maybe its lunacy from severe sleep shortage

Hooray for the Arseface Dollies! Long may they endure. So happy to hear that finally something has brought a smile back to Tiger's face. My younger son still has his softy dogs. They have been with him since he was 3 months old, and boy, does it show. They are almost bald, have one ear between the two of them (the others were twiddled to pieces) and not a lot of stuffing but they endure. He's 26 now so I think the Arsefaces have a long way to go yet ;-)

Two daughters are now at 6th form for A-levels, and one is mucking about in a college playing with clay, paint and wax. Mostly, it's all about culture clash.If you are looking for primary, try the archives under 2011 or 2012. Ideas? Try Seven days with elephants.

Secondary home ed? Try 2012 or 2014 through to 2016.

Exams made life boring for us all and the blog stopped for long periods so the home educated could concentrate on enjoying some teens.

Here I am

When we reach the end of the road we discover the beginning of the field.
Parent, educator, thinker, doer, prevaricator, writer, maker, messer-upper, consensus-seeker, polemic, conflict-avoider, conflict-seeker, vegetarian, leather fondler, shouty person, 'don't-pick-fights-with-me, mister', book dipper, theatre-goer, watcher of films, and person who has unruly thoughts, generally. Prefer the imaginative world where everything is under my control.

where is everybody?

This blog is a record of a home educationwrit for parents thinking about home edwrit for the LA who need an education about home edwrit for Grit's friends and relations who drop in once a yearand writ for Grit's sane and lovely mind.

The internal DCSF Consultation Report, made public 23 January. (pdf)In Annex A, 94% of respondents disagreed that the local authority should have the power to interview a home educated child alone.When this comes out Ed Balls' mouth in the Second Reading Debate, 94% against turns to:'The vast majority of parents would be happy to let that happen'(Hansard 11.01.10, Children, Schools and Families Bill, col 437.)

Love it or loathe it? The petition still broke a record.Press release in the Mirror, Channel4 news, the Guardian.

'Even if you don't currently see yourself home educating, you never know what the future might hold, and if a time comes when you find yourself needing to pull your child out of school, I hope the option is still available to you, and you don't regret thinking *it's nothing to do with me*.'

Read the Right to Reply'Home educators are renowned for their strong opinions and independent spirit. They come from all faiths and none. They have as many approaches to education as there are children. They rarely agree on anything. And yet they are remarkably united in their opposition to these proposals. There is great concern that their way of life will be legislated out of existence.'--Response to the Badman Review of Elective Home Education in England and reaction to the Select Committee hearing.

The problem with home educators is that they are impossible to define. The only things that links them is respect for their children. And did the state just stagger foolishly across that line?Are we sandal wearing tree huggers who let our kids run wild or control mad Jesus freaks who don't want them learning about sex and evolution? Are we hot housing or leaving them to watch TV and play computer games all day? -Firebird.The UK government suggested that we home educate our children to cover up our abuse.On that issue, would you like some statistics?

'The Department [for Children, Schools and Families] is aware that attempts are being made on the Internet to vilify and harass the author of the review. It is the Department's view that, whilst dealing with each request on its merits, this situation will have to be taken into account in dealing with any relevant FOI requests. ... we anticipate the need to consider whether it is in the public interest to release information likely to intensify any such campaign, or to lead to harassment or distress to individuals.'Hello DCSF. Vilify: to make vicious and defamatory statements about.Like putting it about that home educated children are abused by their parents? Isolated? Unsocialised? Denied an education?And the latest one, that their mothers have Munchhausen's Syndrome by Proxy, and benefit from their child's suffering.

... compulsory registration, entry to the home, inspection according to external standards, and power to see the child without the parent present.By implication this applies to anyone who has their child at home with them: particularly parents with under 5s, but also those with school-aged children who are at home in the evenings, over the weekends, and throughout the summer holidays. Think on: the possibility of parental inspection, with or without your presence, based on the very human whim of a local authority officer.Is that okay with you?Renegade Parent on the implications for all parents from the Badman review of home education.

'Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children'.(Universal Declaration of Human Rights, 1948, Article 26.3)

Photos and text copyright Grit.This is Grit's blog. The pictures come from her broken phone camera, and they are hers by right.

The words too are Grit's, Grit's, all Grit's. This is not to say you cannot use any words that Grit uses - after all, she is the unhinged woman who once banned SOIL - but you just cannot lift them in the long, complex and lovely arrangements, like the ones Grit has writ.

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