WRITING

I am writing to touch the place inside that is feeling the collective darkness. I know that 2016 has been hard. So so hard. Even so, I believe you're being asked to ride this wave through the new year with presence, prayer and the power of your voice unleashed.

I want to share a powerful dream I had the other night, and invite you to begin visioning for 2017.

I dreamt that I was in a building with dozens of women, young and old. Out of nowhere, an earthquake began. Everything began shaking so violently that terror filled the room. The awareness of imminent death flooded the minds of every woman present.

Watching the chaos unfold, and with no time to think, I raised my arms and began a vocal and fervent prayer to the mother and father, creator and creatrix of all life. The holiest of holies. The lord and the lady.

People around me laughed at the invocations I chose, but while the shaking continued everywhere else, the building became wrapped in light and stability washed over our space.

Once our safety was ensured I received no accolades, no thanks, but was left with the lesson of the power of my own prayer and the potency of my own voice.

This left me asking, where can we each speak up more? Will we wait until death is upon us? Will we wait until we have no choice? Will we let others stop us or will we let our medicine be seen and known?

Will we do what is being asked of us… Humble ourselves to the mighty power of what lies lurking behind the mask of the personality? The fears of rejection and ridicule?

Wherever you are, I am begging you to say yes.

Today, may you know the power of every breath, word, action and thought. May you know that you are a co-creator of reality with the mother and father of all life. That you are that powerful. And that your greatest power is prayer.

I know that you might feel like you can't handle any more of anything right now.

After whatever you've been through personally this year, through this election, everything. But please, stay with me.

On Wednesday morning my alarm went off before sunrise, as I've been experimenting with very early meditations the past several weeks. I lay awake for awhile feeling my body and the overwhelming energies within me since the election news.

I was struggling with the decision of whether or not to get up for my morning practice.

The truth is that I don't always make it to the meditation cushion and my altar space, or even out of bed. Every morning is different. And it's all okay.

Laying in bed, I heard a little voice inside of me say: "You need to get up and do your practice."

I began to contract and even shut down a little. I felt a familiar internal pressure.

Then, I stopped and noticed what was going on. It was that part of me that pops up when I'm feeling afraid, insecure, or fearful. Like I have something that needs protection. It's the one who believes she's separate. And she's probably about 16 in my consciousness.

Collectively.... She is Donald Trump.

Fear. Insecurity. Separation. One half of my duality in this divine play. Literally projected on the screen for me to see her in her fullness, rather than as a jeering, cold voice inside my head.

I took a few deep breaths and welcomed another part of me to come take the driver seat. It only took a moment after calling upon her for me to soften and align with her vast love.

This one..... She's ancient.

She's awake.

Wise.

Impenetrable.

And she lives right within me.

And she's not afraid to say it.

She is God.

She said to the other voice, in the softest tone, in a thousand different tongues, "No, beloved, you want to do your practice."

She said this, or rather I said this to myself, because I choose devotion over discipline. Devotion being wild, boundless desire - the feminine. Discipline being control- the masculine. The patriarchy.

I'm here to tell you that the patriarchy cannot ever capture your desire. This is because it is the creative force of all of existence, the most powerful force imaginable. It is imagination itself. It is the constant lapping of the ocean on the shores of time. And you cannot control these waves.

As a woman, your desire and this internal voice are your greatest treasures. The only 'weapons' you will ever need.

Beloved, whatever you desire, can be yours because all of creation lives within you.

You want to command miracles? So it shall be.

You desire peace on earth? So it shall be.

You desire the awakening of all hearts? So it shall be.

I am speaking directly to the feminine principle within you. You are here at this time on the planet to MAKE WAVES. To combine your devotion with your desire. To start with yourself and then radiate outward. To self-initiate. To rise with these tides.

And I'm calling you in because I cannot do this alone.

Now more than ever, the world needs you fully embodied because you are the vessel for new earth.

I am calling together a web of angels (and remember, angels are also warriors) across the globe to anchor this reality NOW. To repeat the prayer that we listen only to the golden voice of truth within. That we remember her, and sit at her feet and anoint her each and every morning as if our life depended on it, because I'm starting to understand that it really, truly does.

The applications for WAVES are rolling in and I have been brought to my knees reading them. If you are needing a space and an anchor for your personal practices in these turbulent times, WAVES: Women as Vessels is available to all. If you have felt called but aren't sure that it's possible for you financially or otherwise, please do not hesitate to reach out by responding to this email.

A few years ago I went to an event on a full moon that had a rotation of teachers and guides. A young woman was sharing her story of how prayer healed her relationship to her body.

Her talk was beautiful and inspiring, but for some reason I felt like I was on fire in my seat. I found myself looking for every possible criticism of her that I could find.

I held onto an uncomfortable tension regarding this event for months, until I saw this quote:

“Unharm someone by telling the truth you could not face when you struck instead of tended” – Nayyirah Waheed

And then I understood- I was jealous and afraid.So jealous and so afraid.

She was doing exactly what I wanted to do but didn’t have the courage for, and there was this awful feeling that she was going to get eaten alive by the crowd.

I felt ashamed and sad that I had let such a beautiful talk from a beautiful woman eat me alive for so long. (She seemed totally fine, by the way)

I’ve come to realize that the stings of jealousy and comparison between women seem to be in the water. It’s like we’ve been drinking this virus since birth. And I believe that we have.

I believe that this consciousness to suppress women’s voices (enter thyroid epidemic), comes from both men and women, because honestly we’ve probably all been a woman in past life or a man who watched a woman suffer for standing in her power. This is about all of us. Divine feminine. Divine masculine. Everyone on the same team.

So when we see a powerful woman, some kind of fire begins to burn inside of us.

Either the fire of ‘Why can’t I do that’, or the fire of “Don’t do that! Your’e going to get hurt (burned, stoned, etc).

It’s time for a new wave of consciousness, and it starts between women, because we certainly can’t undo centuries of re-calibrating all the waters of the world in just a day, and we need all the help we can get!

When seeing other women as a threat, we are prompted to ask: “What can I do spiritually to soften that wound and say, I see you and your power to transform the world”

Let us remember this prayer: Woman of light,vessel of truth, I thank you. You reflect my own power, safety and sovereignty. I am you. We are one wave.

This prayer can be said for the divine feminine in all beings, because the feminine is the vessel. Gather with me to share, meditate and pray for the waters of the world, and to learn about my journey of becoming a vessel in my next webinar!

ANNOUNCEMENT:

In order to de-stress the masses from the debates, the webinar is rescheduled for this Wednesday at 7p PST. Sign up here to receive the call in instructions! I'll be giving away a free color copy of the VESSEL Retreat guidebook to one woman on the call, and sharing a really special announcement and gift with everyone present

If you're anything like me you sometimes catch yourself judging others. Being human we are wired to categorize, label and discern. Sometimes it helps keep us alive (thank you nervous system) and other times it blocks us from connection (hello, walls of fear and separation).

Luckily, through the conscious awareness that separates us from most other species, we can learn to elevate our discernment and simply choose the higher road.

I’ve found that 1 out of 4 things is true for me when I catch myself judging others.

I’m jealous… this person has something I want

I’m seeing something that reminds me of myself- Maybe a behavior I used to struggle with myself

I’m reminded of someone who hurt me in the past

I’m being confronted with something I don’t understand or I’m simply unfamiliar with

In all of these situations, the common denominator is only me and my unhealed wounds.

Here’s how I handle it when I realize and accept that I’m being judgmental.

I ask myself if this person has something I want. Is it a yes? Great! Now Iknow my heart’s desire and I can silently thank that person for showing me it’s possible to have it.

I take the judgment in question, and turn it lovingly upon myself. For example: _____ is so lazy and never cleans up after herself turns into: “I am so lazy and I never clean up after myself”. First I feel in body how it feels to be talked to in that way, and then simply ask myself if it’s true. If somewhere in me there’s a grain of truth, I silently thank the person forreflecting my growth edge to me.

Next, I’ll ask myself if the person I’m judging reminds me of someone from my past. If I can pinpoint it, I again silently thank the person for giving me the opportunity to transmute, heal and respond differently. I accept that my own memories were unconsciously (and without my permission) casting this person as a villain.

If this judgment is coming from a mere difference in value or appearance I come back to my breath, and remember that we’re all just walking each other home. There’s probably something I can learn from this person if I am willing to get uncomfortable, curious, open and willing.

The common denominators here are humility, vulnerability, forgiveness and gratitude.

The truth is that we live in a healing world, if we choose. Herbalists and shamans teach that every poisonous plant has an antidote nearby. This shows us that there is always a medicine for what ails us, including our inner wounds: the mental, emotional and spiritual ones. All the judgments, jealousy, arrogance, doubt, shame and fear that is present in all of us.

Often times, the medicine is the person standing right in front of us. The question is whether or not we’re willing to see them that way, and ultimately thank the heavens for the fact that the opportunity to heal is ever-present, from the mirror to the masses!

Can you relate to this? Do you ever find yourself stewing in judgements and not knowing how to get out of the pot? Comment below!

I will be the first to admit that sometimes I can be anxious, controlling or judgmental. I find myself attached to ideas of how, who, when and why. I am still undoing years of listening to my mind instead of my heart. More often than not, my most important lessons are where I least expect to look.

These lessons come when I’m either stepping out of my comfort zone or learning the art and practice of deep, eternal trust.

Several weeks ago I was at my first ever music festival (I’m a serial introvert) and my eyes spotted a transgender woman making her way across a sea of writhing bodies. I watched my mind go from a split second of judgment and confusion, if I’m being completely honest, to sincere compassion for her and a curiosity about her life. I realized I’d never been friends with a transgendered person and that I clearly had unconscious assumptions. I made it a point to try to connect with her during the festival.

Hours later she walked right up to me while I was sitting in what happened to be her teahouse, appropriately named Kuan Yin, after the Buddhist Goddess of compassion.

I asked her about how she came to be connected to Kuan Yin, traveling with this beautiful offering. She shared with me her path to creating the life she’s always dreamed of…. Being in service while surrounding herself with loving, accepting people on a spiritual path, studying Buddhism, and training as a High Priestess!

I had so many questions for her and we talked for hours, our knees touching and hanging on each others' every word. I shared with her about my own budding relationship with Kuan Yin, that I have a 3 ft statue of her in my small home, and that I've even been to a Kuan Yin silent retreat! She recounted for me the first time she ever saw a thangka painting of her while traveling in China.

She described how the peace she had always been looking for washed over her body like a warm bath of undying love.

She shared with me her failures and her struggles, and how she persevered by consistently comes back to the feminine principles of manifestation. I realized I had a burning question for her: What is the difference between manifestation and manipulation? Her response blew me away.

She said “Manipulation is striking a deal with fear and staking your soul on the outcome, while manifestation is co-creating with the spirit of God inside of you and completely releasing the results.”

She said that anytime she is working towards a goal, she raises up her hands to the sky and speaks the words ‘En Shallah’which is Arabic for ‘Only If God Wills’. My heart opened. In a world where transphobia and Islamophobia reign, I softened in gratitude for being able to hear her wisdom in that moment… knowing that if so many of us did the same, just took time to ask those burning questions or second guessed our own judgments, we just might live in a different world.

This experience showed me that fears, whether through outward oppression, or the prisons we so often lock our own selves in, keep everyone living small. This woman showed me that when we step out of our comfort zone, release attachments and societal expectations and always come back to compassion, that transformation takes place. Walls come down and in the face of adversity, the truest self emerges.

Where can we look deeper or beyond our initial judgments of others to receive the wisdom behind the veils of illusion, fear or control? Where can we continue to let even more love in? Leave a comment below!