Day Sixty–Six (66): Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

66) Infinite Potential Is Available For All

Detractors say that the potential to acquire money and material things exists for a few but not everyone. MOney is to be made by those who know how to capitalize on the Law of Attraction topic. The Law of Attraction teachers and coaches say that the law is always working and once you know how to work deliberately with it, you can draw whatever you want from the storehouse of the universe. You have the potential to manifest one dollar or a million dollars. You could establish a hospital, fund an orphanage, or build a social club for senior citizens. Anything you want to create is possible provided you have desire, intention, and persistance. You already have the means–your thoughts–assert proponents of the law. Your potential for manifesting is limitless.

Went to work today . . . again and I was shanghaied! After my second tour to Battery Park, I was sent to South Street Seaport to do a Brooklyn tour.

Brooklyn tours aren’t my strong point . . . and I didn’t bring my guide books. I remembered some of the Brooklyn info., yet, without my little book it was difficult to remember it all.

The good part of the Brooklyn tour . . . and I ended up doing two in a row . . . once you do the 2nd one, you get to go back to Times Square and home for the day.

Thus, it is almost better to be shanghaied to Brooklyn. I just must remember to carry my guide books.

Day Sixty-Five (65): Tuesday, May 4th, 2010

65) What Hill’s Detractors Said

In his books, Hill wrote about his belief in the power of autosuggestion as a law of nature and suggested that our thoughts are like vibrations in the ether that are either negatively or positively charged by our emotions. The subconscious mind, according to Hill, must be influenced by emotionally charged thought mixed with faith if such thought is to bear results. Detractors believed that Hill’s thinking was flawed. They asserted that it was foolhardy to believe desire could turn into its tangible equivalent. Further, they argued that it is impossible to create something out of nothing.

Today began, as usual, my work week (NYC Tour Guide w/City Sights). Generally, I’m fine the first day of the work week. It’s just went I get there with little or no breaks, I get irritated.

The exception was, today was really good . . . good tips and there was enough time to go to the bathroom; well, they let me go between tours.

After my third tour, and I was off to go home . . . one of my bosses, there, told me a story and offended me terribly:

I am not easily offended . . .

He said a woman tourist got off my bus and complained that “the tour guide said the Empire State Building was built in the 1980s in 20 days!”

The tourist went on to explain she loves New York, but the tour guide was bad to give such false information. I calmly said, “Well, it wasn’t me . . . because, my tour is scripted, really. I ALWAYS talk about the 13 months it took to build the Empire State Building in 1930/1931“.

My boss kept insisting she was talking about me. I became very defensive because, as I stated, I DO NOT CHANGE MY SCRIPT!

Because I was told this woman was going to complain to the company about me. I had to defend myself because I didn’t make any mistakes! I went up to the office and talked to Gwen, in the City Sights office. Then, I went to talk to Troop, at the site, and told him my truth.

Troop and another tour guide or two . . . said to not worry about it. That they were just pushing my buttons. I realized, on my way back, that the tourist was probably NOT listening.

Now, you are seeing the tallest building in New York since the World Trade Center tragedy. The Empire State Building, which was built in 1930 to 1931. It took 13 months to complete; which, as far as buildings go is very quick.

It was the Great Depression and many men were out of work. They hired over 4000 men to complete the steel structured building. It took 13 short months, one year and one month.

Later on, as we get closer to the building:

In the 1980s (the only mention I make about that era) a man tried to commit suicide from the Empire State Building. It was a particularly windy day and he was blown back to another balcony unharmed. He had a new lease on life as he was taken to the Bellevue Mental Hospital.

We turn the corner on 5th Avenue and go into another area: Little Korea (at this point, I’ve talked a lot about Great Depression and how the Empire State Building was called the “Empty State Bldg“):

Over to the right you a sign reading: I heart NY t-shirts — 10 for $10.00. They will last you 10 days. If you wash them carefully, they might last 20 days!

Thus, apparently, if the tourist was talking about me . . . she only listened to my tour when I mentioned the attempted suicide, and then stopped listening. Then, she listened AGAIN when I was talking about t-shirts and had long stopped talking about the Empire State Building.

Remember: She claimed the Tour Guide said “the Empire State Building was built in the 1980s and it took 20 days.”

My note to tourists: LISTEN TO THE WHOLE TOUR!

I have seen tourists talking on the cell phone, sleeping and then later, complaining to me, what I didn’t mention or did mention. Only because they are NOT paying attention!!!

Day Sixty–Four (64): Monday, May 3rd, 2010

64) Napoleon Hills Formula For Success

Hill learned that any formula for wealth and success had to include such things as formulating a precise purpose, cultivating the desire for it to manifest, recognizing opportunity whenever and wherever it showed up, being persistent (don’t give up too soon or take no for an answer), cultivating success consciousness (rather than failure thoughts), perceiving advantage and new opportunities in every obstacle and adversity, and perhaps most importantly, having a desire that is fueled by faith and charged with emotion. He also believed it wise to surround oneself with like-minded persons.

Day Sixty–Three (63): Sunday, May 2nd, 2010

63) Andrew Carnegie Knew The Secret

Napoleon Hill interviewed five hundred of the wealthiest men of his lifetime. Born into a poor Virginian family in 1883 and orphaned by the age of twelve, Hill overcame poverty to become a journalist and lawyer. Scotsman and steel titan Andrew Carnegie became his mentor. Carnegie felt that others, if they understood his formula for building a stupendous fortune, could likewise create wealth. He urged Hill to interview successful American businessmen like him to find out their success secrets. Hill did and subsequently shared his findings in books, lectures, and speeches.

After a bit of work and talking Manhattan Theatre Source into a special price, Friday night . . . for lots and lots of copies. I collected a cast of good actors to do a reading of the play, GOOD CLEAN FUN by my friend, Sherry Goldberg.

The history of this funny play, for me, goes like this:

In 1990/1991, I was back in Arizona from my first stint in New York (1984-1989). I was doing lots of theatre work in Phoenix and surrounding areas. At one point, I ended up being invited to a party at someone’s apartment out near Cave Creek, AZ. A theatre party.

At this party, I was being my usual self: vibrant, funny, outspoken and as some call it, a bit crazy. I was talking to a hot older guy … older to me, at least. I was in my late 20s at the time and this guy was in his 40s. The person who invited me to this party, from what I recall, was a woman named Heather Brody.

I had been acquainted with Heather since she was a small child in Centerstage at the Phoenix Jewish Community Center. In 1990/91 she was probably in her late teens or very early 20s. Anyway, the man I was flirting with, with my vibrant personality, was named Don. He was directing a play that Heather was producing. It was being produced at a place Heather leased, or her father leased, for her to do theatre.

Apparently, Don or Heather found a local playwright, Sherry Goldberg, and were doing her play, GOOD CLEAN FUN. At that party, at some point, Don cast me in the role of “Jessica” without an audition, based on my personality and what I told him about all my theatre history!

I cannot say it was the first time I was cast without an audition . . . but, it certainly would not be the last.

The show went so well. I was blessed and happy when my beloved high school drama teacher, James Hayden, and Vickie Dinon, came to the show. A few years later, Vickie would pass on after going into insulin coma. And just last September 6th, Jim died from complications of several illnesses. I miss him terribly.

I was much too young to play 30-something Jessica. Despite my real age of 28-years-old, I looked about 20-years-old!

I went back to New York in 1992 and totally in love with GOOD CLEAN FUN. A funny comedy with four women in the lead. I sought a New York producer, found one with the stipulation that I would portray Jessica, again. Of course, I asked Sherry if it was all right to produce her show in her hometown! She said yes . . .

In 1995/96 GOOD CLEAN FUN went up to some good reviews. Now, I was older, but still too young for Jessica!

Now, finally old enough to portray Jessica; after finding Sherry again (via her daughter, on facebook). I am considering doing the show again.

Today, we had a reading of the very dated play . . . Sherry had sent me the very original script a few weeks ago. I gathered a fabulous cast, too. And we had a read-thru with this great cast:

Day Sixty–Two (62): Saturday, May 1st, 2010

62) Not A New Concept

As mentioned in the previous chapters, the concept of the Law of Attraction has resonance with older books containing similar ideas. Think and Grow Rich and The Law of Success, by Napoleon Hill; The Science of Getting Rich, by Wallace Wattles; The Power of Positive Thinking, by Norman Vincent Peale; and How To Win Friends And Influence People,by Dale Carnegie, are just a few titles from other eras that preceded the current offerings of Law of Attraction. The new works often feature a personal growth, self-help, or New Age focus while the aforementioned books targeted a different type of audience with content that was practical and inspirational.

Yesterday, I found out . . . or somewhere around here; my play SAME AS ME (about my ex-boyfriend, Fredy) will be used in the program TestoGENIUS. Basically, plays and monologues about the experience of being a man.

The festival will go up around Father’s Day at Manhattan Theatre Source. This should be lots of fun and technically speaking, my true debut as a playwright.

Now, some of my work has been featured at Manhattan Theatre Source as part of Spontaneous Combustion — we write a short, short play in 24 hours — so, TestoGENIUS is my debut in something a little more planned(?)

Day Sixty (60): Thursday, April 29th, 2010

60) Can It Be Proven?

At best, detractors say, the Law of Attraction overstates a promise that just thinking about something brings it to you. Further, critics argue, irrefutable proof that you can gain whatever you dream about or long for, is not a tenable hypothesis that can be proven through scientific method. Instead, they point out, savvy marketing, attention-grabbing buzz words and catchy phrases along with the promise of getting something for (almost) nothing seems to have caught the imagination of Americans and the media.

That made me think of something I’ve wanted to address for some time now.

For years, since 1982ish, I’ve been a fan of a certain actor. From my history and my fearless attitude, you all know who it is! Still, let me go back a bit, to another story of being a fan.

When I was 14-years-old, I fell hard for a young man in Tiger Beat magazine. His name is Shaun Cassidy. He was all I imagined in a boyfriend and the person whom I saw myself dating. I wanted Shaun Cassidy to be my first real boyfriend. He was perfect for me: four years older, successful and hot. Tiger Beat/Teen Beat and a few other magazines were my lifeline (long before computers) — I collected 100s of posters, magazine articles, etc. I learned all I could about SC, and Tiger Beat made that easy. They published tell-all magazines and regular articles where the star would write down his favorite things and/or history.

One was very informative and as I have a photographic memory (even more so at that time), I memorized, for life, apparently . . . information on the young SC. By age 16-years-old, I packed up my posters, magazines, etc. and was onto other pursuits. I still had an admiration for Mr. Cassidy; but no longer the passion I seemed to have earlier.

Years passed, Shaun Cassidy disappeared (in a way) and went behind the scenes (writing, producing) and I moved on through different phases of growing up. Then, in 1982, I fell hard again with him — Mr. Tim Curry.

Yet, let’s talk about my photographic memory. In approximately 1993, there was Broadway show called BLOOD BROTHERS starring none other than Shaun Cassidy and David Cassidy! And another favorite actor/singer I loved since childhood, Petula Clark. My good friend, Michael Doyle, took me to the show for my birthday. What a blast from the past!!!

After the show, as I always do, I had to do the “stage door” thing and chat with the actors. It’s my thing as I pursue my own Broadway career. Mind you, it had been years and years since I really thought about Shaun Cassidy and what he had once meant to me.

There was a rather large crowd of middle-aged women, to see David Cassidy, no doubt and maybe a few of us younger one’s who were more oriented toward Shaun. A woman near-by me started yelling out questions to Shaun, who wasn’t really answering (but signing autographs). It went something like this:

WOMAN: Hey Shaun, when is your birthday?

ME: September 27, 1958

WOMAN: Shaun, what time were you born?

ME: 4:05 p.m

WOMAN: Shaun, where were you born?

ME: Los Angeles, California!

SHAUN: (looking up wide-eyed; pointing at me) You’re scaring me!

ME: (laughing) I’m scaring me, too! I even remember your favorite song, at least, in 1977! Born To Be Wild!

Shaun gave me a look.

ME: Shaun, I assure you it’s just my photographic memory from childhood. I enjoy your work, BUT I have moved on!

No sure if he believed me or not.

Anyway, I digress . . . In my years as a dedicated and yes, obsessed, fan of Tim Curry I have been called a plethora of names and accused of crimes (by other fans, not by anyone of authority) due to jealousy.

I want to clear up some under-educated people and the scare tactics used by the media. There are huge differences between a “fan” and a “stalker”.

STALKER: Noun

I do not and don’t want to, in any way, hurt or doing anything unlawful toward any other human being! My intentions toward Tim Curry are those of a fan. Yes, I wish to be a friend as I feel we’d be great friends. There was a time I also sought a romantic relationship with him (I mean sought in my mind and hoped, if we met, that he’d ask me out).

Nevertheless, when we did meet, he was great, cool, kind, funny and as friendly as I expected, dreamt and hoped. He didn’t ask me out; as many men I am attracted to do not. Thus, I moved on or away from that particular hope, for the time.

There’s always hope, of course; until we are all gone.

My story is . . . people are much too quick to label. Stalking is illegal and also a disorder of the mind. I may be a little strange, bizarre and there are those who will say I’m a bit touched. But violent, dangerous to society or myself, I am not.

I wish no harm to Tim Curry whether he dates or doesn’t, whether he dates me or doesn’t or if I never see him again, in person. Tim has always been good to me and always will, I am sure.

Just because I am in the same field as he is, acting/singing, and know people in show business . . . dear TC fans . . . doesn’t make me a stalker because I was able to get closer to Tim than you. It also doesn’t give you the right to label me a criminal or stalk me in order to accuse me of such criminal activity. And unless you are hired by Mr. Curry or his representatives, and you are a trained professional and treating me personally, STOP!

And I do want to note . . .it has been years since some “fans” have stalked me (and yes, they did stalk me — even though, most of them had never met me) and tried to hurt my reputation in show business (a long story for another time). It has been dormant for some time. Perhaps because 1) I’ve not committed any acts of stalking, 2) they are not professionals and 3) they are committing the very crime they accuse me of.

Stalkers like to get rid of any competition . . . to get to their goal.

My take: I am not your competition. If you want Mr. Curry, he is yours! I enjoy talking to him when I do. I would love to have dinner with him, or several and I’d love to be in a film or two with him or act on stage with him (Broadway or West End). If these things never happen . . . well, they don’t. It’s a dream, a goal and yet my life is lovely and wonderful now.

I’ve met and spoken with Mr. Curry on many occasions. It’s enough dream fulfillment for several lifetimes. I have no regrets and I am happy! And I love you Tim Curry . . . you inspire me, encourage me and I thank you, profusely for all the conversations and good thoughts.

Day Fifty–Nine(59): Wednesday, April28th, 2010

59)Blaming The Victim?

If you break your leg, did you attract that into your life? A plethora of books and DVD’s such as The Secret by Australian author Rhonda Byrne, which was featured twice on Oprah, have ignited a national discussion about the Law of Attraction and the simple premise that you are attracting everything into your life through your thought. Yet some scientists and critics disagree with that concept. They say it blames the patient to suggest that he or she attracted the heart disease, death of a child, or plane crash.

Today is a special birthday . . . a birthday wish I cannot give to the birthday girl.

It was early December 2003. Fredy and I were in Pennsylvania (from California) to meet his daughter, Anika.

Fredy did not know she existed until she was 5-years-old; and we didn’t know she was in foster care until she was nearly 7-years-old. In December 2003, after a lot of phone calls (on my part) all the way to the office of the Governor of Pennsylvania — a meeting with his, then 7-year-old child was arranged.

At another time, I will share the whole story — of a year and a half of seeking bonding and promises made and broken (by officials and others). That said, Anika turned 14-years-old today, only days after her biological father’s 47th birthday. She is happy in her adopted family, from what we know.

Fredy nor I have made contact with her since 2005. He was promised a P.O. Box to reach her once she was adopted. This promise, one of many, was broken by the adoptive parents. Nevertheless, we both know they were, despite broken agreements, were ideal parents.

After Anika was sent “home” to her foster, soon-to-be-adoptive parents; Fredy and I went through our own grieving process. It ended our relationship as a couple and we remain close friends today.

I’ve kept the same email and keep myself, and Fredy, online so that Anika can find him (or me, and I will connect them) when she is 18-years-old; if she so chooses. It would be great if she could reunite with her father, her half-brother and grandmother in Guatemala, too.

I certainly will keep the door open as long as I am able. I will also be friends with Fredy as long as time permits. His family also keeps in touch with me and him. She looks just like Fredy; thus, if she needs to know her history, we will keep it safe for her and available.

DaySeventy–Four(74):Thursday,May13th,2010

74)Saints Perform Miracles

Critics say that some Law of Attraction teachers are ridiculous to suggest that creative imagination, visualizations, affirmations and the power of positive thinking can help a person to manifest circumstances, objects, or healings. However, practitioners of the Law of Attraction point out that miraculous healings, even from seemingly incurable diseases, can and do happen. In the traditions of the Roman Catholic Church, before a person can continue to sainthood, three miracles have to have happened to be verified by the church as having no other explanation than intervention by the deceased holy person in response to prayer and faith of the petitioner.

Fredy Adolfo Gonzalez De Leon, my ex-boyfriend and now friend, arrived in New York today. I met him over at the James A. Farley Post Office. At least, I think it was today.

As you can see, I’ve fallen hopelessly behind on my daily blog and am trying to catch up. I’m only going to write short blurbs, for the most part, on the days I do recall.