"I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I've got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it off to future generations."
-George Bernard Shaw

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October 29, 2013

39 Weeks

How Far Along: 39 weeks

Total Weight Gain: Let's
just say I weigh more than I did last week. I didn't look at the scale, but my
midwife announced it as soon as she came in the room, which was completely
humiliating, especially since Jason was there.

Maternity Clothes: I
recently bought a large men's sweatshirt from Wal-Mart for six whole dollars,
which is currently my favorite thing to wear. Unlike the rest of my shirts, it
actually covers the bottom of my belly.

Sleep: I'm not tired at night and when I
do manage to fall asleep, I wake about every 2-3 hours out of discomfort. Then
to top it all off, I am usually wide awake at 5am. Needless to say, sleep is
not going well.

Stretch Marks: Thankfully, still nothing.

Highlight of the Week: On
Saturday night, Jason and I went to the Thriller Parade in downtown Lexington.
It was a nice distraction and I had a good time getting into the Halloween
spirit!

Missing: I can't believe I'm saying
this, but I miss the end of the second trimester. I looked pregnant, but I
wasn't miserable like I am now, physically or emotionally.

Movement: He's moved back UP out of my
pelvis, so there's that. He's also moved over to my left side, rather than my
right, which is where he has hung out for the past 9 months. Getting
adventurous I suppose...

Cravings: The only thing I crave is to not
be pregnant anymore!

Food Aversions: None

Symptoms: Hip pain, finger joint
pain, back pain, boredom, anxiety, impatience, etc. And to top it all off, I
puked twice this week while brushing my teeth. Honestly, I am 25 weeks too
pregnant for that!

Showing: Yep

Gender: Boy

Labor Signs: Not a single flutter.
Literally nothing. I have serious doubts that I will ever go into labor at this
point. I am trying to prepare myself emotionally for a possible induction, but
it is not going well. I cried all the way home from my appointment today since
he's moved away from where he's supposed to be and since my cervix is still not
in the mood to birth this baby. My midwife isn't even sure if she will be able
to strip my membranes if need be, because they are too high for her to reach!
I'm trying really hard not to feel defective, but I'm starting to wonder if I
would be one of those women that died in childbirth back in the olden days
simply because my body seems to have no clue what it's supposed to be doing!

Belly Button In or Out: Out

Wedding Rings On or Off: Off

Most looking forward to: I am
looking forward to hopefully going into labor on my own sometime soon. I really
want to experience natural childbirth, and every day that passes that nothing
happens I get more and more afraid of having to be induced. I''m trying to keep
in mind that the end goal is a healthy baby, regardless of how he gets here,
which is true I guess, but the fact of the matter is that it does matter
to me how he gets here. My main priority is his health and safety of course,
but secondarily, I would like to have a good birth experience. I really hope
those two things don't become mutually exclusive, because obviously I will
throw myself in front of a speeding train if that's what it takes to get him
out safely, but I'd prefer not to have to resort to that. (Perhaps I am being a
bit dramatic, but you get my point.) Also, obviously I am really, really,
really looking forward to seeing my son for the first time!

Milestones: Well, based on the new and
improved labor charts or whatever they are, I am finally "full term.
" Apparently 37 weeks is "early term" now.

*I realize this week I seem a little grouchy. Please
don't think for a moment that I’m not incredibly thankful to be pregnant,
because I am. I'm more than happy to go through whatever it takes (both during
the rest of my pregnancy and during his birth, however that ends up happening)
to have a healthy baby at the end of the day. However, that doesn't change the
fact that today has been a tough day, and I think it's important to be honest
and share that.