Renowned Portsmouth Astrophysicist Cap'n Hubbil announced that the ancient cellars at Portsmouth Public Pirate School were purchased by his foundation and are being reconfigured in the science world's ongoing search for Dork Matter.

He vehemently denied rumors that massive ammounts of WIMPs (Weevil-Inhibiting Meate Pies) and MACHOs (Maggot-Attracting Catfish Head & Offal) had been generated in previous experiments and sold quietly to Bart Industries.

I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.~Charles "Darwin" Dickens