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Going Natural: an unconscious wish?

Today I was checking out my YouTube history out of curiosity and realised one common thing about the videos I've been watching: they were all about girls who were either natural or transitioning.

Same when it came to my Internet browsing history.

This made me ask myself one question: "Girl, are you REALLY thinking about going natural?!"

I am still not sure about what to answer to that question to be honest. It would be a lie to say that I have never considered it since the start of my hair journey. Actually, I think I have tried (without really knowing or realising it) twice during the last year or so. I have tried to stretch my relaxer for longer than my usual 8 weeks. I went as far as 12 and gave up as I just couldn't handle the amount of new growth. And again, for those of you who have read my posts on K.I.S.S, stretching contributed to my bold spot.

October 2013 will mark my three year hair anniversary and if you had told me in 2010 or even 2012 about going natural, I would have laughed real loud! But in the last year I have caught myself wondering. Not considering it but....I've been growing more and more curious about what my natural hair texture looks like. Especially when I have new growth; I catch myself just touching it constantly, playing with the curls and wondering what it would look like if it was longer.

I do not remember what my hair was like when I was younger. I remember the haircuts and have some photos, but I honestly can't remember what it felt like.

I have also realised that I have been "finding" more and more reasons to stop relaxing lately. Just when I do something to my hair, I hear a voice inside my hair saying "wouldn't it be better to have fuller, stronger hair? Wouldn't you like to finally make some proper, fuller braids/twists? Aren't you tired of relaxing and burning your scalp?"

My hair is thin. Fuller than it was at the start of my hair journey, but still too thin to my liking.

So anyway, I was wondering: is it a common thing when on a hair journey and relaxed? Do you automatically, at one point, think about going natural? Or at least consider it? It's like my mind has been obsessed with that for the last few months. I have witnessed quite a few relaxed ladies on YouTube or hair websites that I was following who decided to go natural. I also follow a lot of natural women too. But then I try to also be realistic: would I do more harm than good to my hair if I ever decided to go natural? Can I handle my thick 4b/c hair once passed 12 weeks? I cannot do braided hairstyles with my thin relaxed hair, so how will I manage to style my coily/kinky hair? I am not sure I am ready yet to go down that route. I've been reading so many blogs, articles, watching so many videos...a hair journey is not easy lol

What about you ladies? What do you think each time you're about to touch up your hair? Or when you look at your NG? Have you had those thoughts? Would you go natural?

2 comments:

I feel what you are saying about wanting to go natural. I try to tell myself that I will go natural when I have my first girl. So for now I can focus on reaching my goals with relaxed hair. Although, once I'm 9 weeks post I can't stop touching my coils:)

That's exactly what I was thinking too lol was saying this to my sister in law earlier this week. I told her that if I go natural, I would probably do it when I get pregnant as it is best not to use chemicals anyway when expecting. Plus, no one can really see your head when on maternity leave so if I struggle, they will never know lolI'm 5 weeks post today and haven't stopped touching my little tiny curls today :-)