The landlady

Gender:

Male

I am now in my late 50s. As a very shy, timid, and withdrawn boy, with no confidence in my soft, thin body, the other boys' fun and games (playing with each other naked) after "lights out" in the school dormitory didn't interest me — not even their pants of excitement and giggles of pleasure ("ooh! that feels nice!"). We were 9 or 10 years old then. I never saw my penis erect until my first ejaculation when I was 12. Looking at my naked torso in a mirror, flexing my biceps to convince myself I had a good body, I started rubbing my penis, breathlessly, my face flushed and blushing in excitement. Suddenly, the most intensely beautiful feelings flooded through me down there, and there was a great surge of sensation. Looking down, in ecstasy, I saw my penis, stiff, veined, red, throbbing, and upright, its bloated crimson helmet spewing out creamy white fluid (nothing like urine!) and splattering all over my hand and wrist. I was incredibly frightened, excited, and guilty, all at the same time. This was terribly naughty and forbidden, but so very exciting — and private, secret to me. No one — parents, teachers, friends — had ever talked about sex with me. Only once I heard a teacher at school, seeing a boy's obscene red penis swaying above the soapsuds in the bath, say "You mustn't play with yourself, or white cream will shoot out of it, and then you'll feel tired and no good."

After that first time, I couldn't stop. The sensations were so beautiful, all tied up with powerful, lovely emotions of comfort, well-being, happiness, desire, and massive energy. My bare body, now getting more muscular but still slim and soft, began to look beautiful to me and began to excite me, though not nearly so much as the sight of my erect, thick, and curving 7-inch uncircumcised penis, especially when those amazing sensations surged along him and he spurted out that lovely, gooey white semen. I did it by day, in front of a mirror and at the bathroom washbasin (splattering the mirror behind), and at night. In between, there was that constant restless and aching feeling, which wouldn't leave me alone until I did it again — and not even then!

There was always the guilt, always the intense trembling excitement and anticipation of the next time (private and just for me) which went with it. My first girlfriend, Wendy, masturbated me furiously in her arousal as I wonderingly stroked and fondled her bare breasts and hard nipples under her nightie (what a delight! — I'd never felt a breast before), and I exploded all over her. But since then, masturbation hasn't played much of a part in my relationships with women, not even in marriage, except for my partner sometimes masturbating me. Still, that was never as exciting as doing it on my own with pictures/film and fantasy, or with a partner who also masturbates, whether male or female.

Until I met Wendy, when I was about 20, women's bodies hadn't turned me on. Now I was aware of their delights; I couldn't get enough of them, whether for real or gazing at pictures. Ever since then, erotic pictures of women have always played a big part in my masturbation. For the last few years, I've gotten more and more turned on by young women — the "Just 18" and "naughty neighbors" sort and especially the "girl next door" — not least with smallish breasts, large bottoms, and athletic bodies (I adore bottoms and full ripe thighs), and by the more mature woman (late 30s/early 40s) who could be my landlady, teacher, or church-helper to my young assistant minister fantasy. I have a huge pile of such pictures to which I fantasize like mad in long, private sessions, often going on for hours without giving in to ejaculation, always stopping just in time, repeatedly, when on the brink. A favorite fantasy is being shown into my bedroom at a place where I am to stay for a month or so by the highly attractive landlady, age 40. Her "office," where she works until late in the evening, is next door. My bed is along one wall, and a mirror is above it going its full length. Peeking into her room, I discover she has a curtained mirror along the length of her wall exactly on the other side of mine — only hers is a window into my room. She will see everything I do in there, including close up if I'm on the bed, masturbating just for her — if she draws her curtain back — or in the shower if I leave the door open. I can't see her, but I can hear her: Yes, she's watching — listen to that heavy breathing, those gasps!

Through numerous relationships, and marriage for the last 27 years, I still masturbate a lot. It's so wonderful and exciting, and also secret, naughty, forbidden, shocking, blush-making, "sinful," etc. Especially key and exciting moments over the years have been: Going into the back room of a sex shop and looking at my first porno mags with huge erect penises; buying and watching my first cine-film (now videos of course) and seeing a man ejaculate on film (wow!) — now I love to put the video into very slow motion when the man is about to ejaculate, and watch him spurting in slow motion (will it be in a dribble or huge jets?); taking erotic Polaroid photos (now proper 35mm ones) of myself, especially if I can share these with other people; doing my first long, slow video (then going to a professional to have myself videoed) of me stripping, masturbating, ejaculating — and sharing this with erotic penpals; my first visits to sauna/massage parlors, an extension of masturbation where I can watch myself being masturbated by a sexy woman — so exciting!; my first visit to a gay sauna, being naked among other naked men, mutually admiring one another's erect penises, watching and being watched as we masturbate and ejaculate — that was almost unbearably exciting the first time I ever did it, I nearly passed out; my first time, prior to a sauna visit, when I decided to wet-shave off all my leg, bottom, tummy, and pubic hair — so forbidden, so "innocent," so erotic; getting a more muscular (though still smooth-skinned) body through weight training, as now I can turn myself on so much more as I watch myself and my body in action; first contacts with like-minded people through erotic correspondence (as advertised in "contact" magazines), sharing experiences and pictures — and especially when this led to my first (male) masturbation partner, rubbing ourselves and each other to ecstatic ejaculation as we shared photos and videos and admired each other's beautiful phalluses; and so much more!

My favorite techniques? Whole-body self-loving, stroking, and teasing myself all over as I watch in a mirror and talk to myself erotically — rubbing just the upper and side rim of my glans between thumb and forefinger while lightly fondling and tickling the balls; wearing a rough glove (the pharmaceutical sort used for rubbing off flaky skin) as I wank, and seeing how much "pre-cum" I can soak it in over hours/days (I ooze copious "pre-cum" non-stop once I've started a session, even for several hours on end); collecting "pre-cum" in a saucer as I tease my penis, side-on over the saucer and streaming down into it; using a silk scarf or tie to lightly stroke, tickle, tease my balls/perineum/inner thighs/penis as I masturbate; mercilessly provoking my penis with a string or a silk tie, to which I've attached lots of tickling/scratching/teasing implements (staples, pins, sticky tape, paper-clips, plastic freezer-bag twists, etc.); and especially repeated sessions, day after day, repeatedly reaching the very brink of ejaculation, but stopping just in time — experiencing numerous "mini-orgasms" all the time. The longest I've lasted this way is 3 weeks, every day my whole body becoming ever more aroused, hyper-sensitive, restless, tingling, and massively full of desire.. All of the above I have discovered in these last 10 years or so as I have gotten older and more experienced — and all of them, the older I have gotten, accompanied by extremely exciting, vivid fantasies (using pictures) and more and more subtle, teasing methods. Believe me, the sensations and emotions (it's the emotions that make the sensations so extra wonderful and exciting) have gotten more and more intense and amazing!

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