Nicole Scherzinger: ‘Bulimia Was My Addiction’

In a candid confession, Nicole Scherzinger admits that she suffered from bulimia during her time as a Pussycat Doll.

On the Sunday, Oct. 7, episode of Vh1’s Behind The Music, Nicole Scherzinger will reveal a number of secrets about her life including her addiction to hurting herself and the fact that she sang 95 percent of the Pussycat Dolls songs!

“I just hated myself,” Nicole said, referring to her addiction with bulimia. “I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life.”

“Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I’d try to hide those. I think the girls could tell. It’s embarrassing. I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know,” she added.

“I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction. It’s like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I’d come back to my room and I’d be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction.”

After the Pussycat Dolls split in 2010, Nicole went on to venture into a solo career and a stint as a judge on the U.S. version of X Factor. She currently serves as a judge on the UK version.

“The music is what saved me. It’s the only thing that I can trust,” she concluded.

Nicole also admits that she “probably did 95 percent” of the singing “on my own” for PCD’s 2005 debut album, PCD. “I hope I don’t get in trouble for the stuff that I say,” Nicole says, “but I’ll never forget I finished the album, PCD, and [executive producer RonFair] and I brought the girls into the studio and we played it for them. It was the first time they’d ever heard the music.”