Sunday, August 26, 2012

Why I broke up with Facebook...

Well Hello Facebook...It's been awhile!

I've been on silence so I thought I would let you know why I dumped you.

You see, I saw that I was making you an idol in my life. I realized that I was finding the accolades I received from you so primary...and truth be told, your accolades are lovely but you never see the real me. You never see the parts that fall and are fallen. You only see the together picture that always looks so lovely behind the instagram lense changes...

I needed those accolades to be inconsequential. I needed to love my physical, real life. I needed to live in the now.

After all, you are a fake. I like you...but you're fake.

You'll never really lead me to an authentic, fulfilling life because you are "veneer"...unreachable, untouchable. I can create whatever I want to be for the day and you will accept that from me...Never asking for community, authenticity, or discipline. You long for the veneered part of me and I'm sad to say...I'm just not that girl.

So...I left you.

I know you're wondering what I've been doing and who I've been hanging out with since I dumped you...
Please don't be heartbroken...I've been focusing on actual people that are physically present around me. I looked for exchanges in every day life with others that I might not have noticed had I been buried in your pages. I read more, and listened harder. I surrendered to stillness. I grew.

And I found someone...

He is the loveliest of the lovelies...
You cannot imagine the depths he goes to know me...
He woos me...
He sits in stillness with me requiring nothing in return...
He holds me at night when my defenses are down...
He knows my faults...
He wrote this amazing love letter to me that I have been so immersed in that I completely forgot about you...and the really cool thing is, He sees me in ways you never could...It's like..He already knew me.

When I read the letters He wrote to me, I find something different in each line that solidifies my truest self and I fall deeper and deeper in love...

I know this hurts dear FB, but you just aren't what I'm looking for in a relationship. I know you've done your best but you're shallow, prideful, arrogant at times, and downright naughty. You are so stingy with my time when I'm committed to you, and I'm just tired of your games. You and your friends in other parts of the techy world lend to veneers that promise big but deliver minute.

I need more.

You just don't have what it takes to satisfy my needs.

We can still be friends...and I will visit you for fun and giggles...but we won't be exclusive and I won't believe the hype you feed me about myself. It all goes back to my love...

You see, ANYTHING that pulls my affections...anything that monopolizes my time and numbs my life from real encounters with my love and His children...has to go. I've been minimizing distractions and focusing on what truly matters in the radical, eternal, lasting scheme of things...and you just don't make the cut. When I look over at my love and His children, all these distractions seem so cheap. So meaningless. So boring compared to living in the life I have with them...

Oh! I forgot to tell you His name...it's the loveliest...most beautiful name...

Jesus.

Doesn't it have the loveliest ring to it? Like angels singing?

When I whisper His name, I get all tingly inside and my heart leaps...you never did that for me.

When I think His name during my days, I'm calm. Fortified. Deeper somehow. Cares are inconsequential to me because he supplies all my needs.

It's quite perfect really...

In closing, thank you for what you tried to offer me. We tried to make a go of it, we really did. But in the end, I wasn't created for you. I was created for Jesus.

He's pretty much consumed every fiber of my being...I'm quite in love.

I'll see you around and we'll laugh and catch up...but I'll be busy with my relationship so you'll have to accept my sloppy seconds.

Royal Wreck

So I am...a Royal Wreck...I do not profess to have it all together. What makes it Royal is that I'm quite in touch with a Savior that keeps me humbled in this life and utterly grateful for each moment that I'm blessed to enjoy. 2 girls. 1 cat. All of us in school. All of us continuously growing up. It's a ride...and I love it!