Sunday, February 26, 2012

I struggle with envy. It's a sin against God. It's not really loving someone to be envious of them. Yet, I still have trouble keeping it out of my life. There are so many things in life we can envy of our peers whether married or not. My biggest struggle is with peers who are finding love that are younger than me or that are finding love after divorces while I still remain single. I know God has a plan for me. I know that He will find me the person I'm supposed to be with in His work on earth.

Most of all, I'm praying a lot about this. It's amazing how reading scripture (or listening to it through my phone app) helps. God will help me through this and through all of the other things I keep trying to take back from Him. Lord, I'm loosening my grip. Take this from me. Amen.

"You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's." Exodus 20:17

"A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot." Proverbs 14:30

It really hit me how we are supposed to live. I've fought being single for a long time. I've cried to God to ask Him when will my time come to be married. I know now as I get older that God has something extra special planned for me. So many people get married just because they are desperate or feel it's their only chance. Honestly, I was probably there in my late 20s and 30s. Yes, it still hurts when young women are getting married and divorcees find new loves when I rarely get a nibble.

Dr. Stanley's sermon helped me today. In the last 6 months, I have made a lot of life changes. A lot of spiritual life changes. God was actually waiting on me to get where I need to be. As Dr. Stanley taught, we need to listen to God, obey Him, depend on Him, and wait on Him. I was doing it in the wrong order! I wasn't listening. I was obeying somewhat, but I didn't depend on Him. I tried to do things my way and naturally, I messed it up. I've been waiting on Him, but not fully. That's changing now.

Dr. Stanley also recommended to write down when God speaks to you. He really does. I have several times I can remember already. One big time was when I was heading out and something told me to change my pants from shorts to jeans. Little did I know that I would be in an accident within the hour. Had I not listened, my legs would have been cut from the glass that flew in my driver's side door.

If we wait on God, He will speak to us. It may not be through a burning bush with a loud voice or with writing on the wall. It may just be in an subtle way or through a circumstance. When we look back at life, we realize that God does have a plan. He is protecting us and wants the best for us. All He wants in return is for us to depend on Him 24/7 for every decision we make, even the little ones.

How has God spoken to you recently?

As I was finishing this post, I googled God Speaking and a video by Mandisa came up first. If that's not God speaking, I dont' know what is. Here's the video God Speaking-Mandisa.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Snow is a pros and cons event in my life. While I hate the coldness, I love how it brightens up the night. While I hate shoveling it, I like how it gives me a workout without going to the gym. While I hate the mess it eventually creates, I love it's comfort like a white fluffy blanket as it falls from the clouds and sticks to the trees.My love/hate relationship with snow makes me think of other things in my life that I love and hate.

A few years ago, my sister told me she was made aware in church of the benefits of being a single. Until then, she felt bad for me because I couldn't find the man meant for me. Here are some of the things she realized:
1. I have freedom to come and go as I please.
2. I can spend more time with her kids because I don't have my own family at home.
3. I have total control of the remote.
4. I can be neat or a slob. It's my choice.
5. I can eat what I want for dinner even if it's just a bowl of ice cream.
6. I can be involved in the church even more.

Are there negatives to these discoveries? ABSOLUTELY! But while I'm still a single, I'm doing my best to rejoice and enjoy my time as a blessing instead of a curse. Sometimes, it's heavenly to only have to do my thing. So, to my married friends...don't pity me. Yes, I would like to date someone special. In the mean time, accept me for who I am and realize that being single isn't the worst thing in the world. it's just what God has planned for me at this time.

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About Me

Single all of my life, I'm making some major changes in my Christian walk. I teach full-time elementary music and have two direct sales businesses. Most of all, i'm single...still. It's not my deepest desire, but it's God's will for now. This blog is my personal journey through life. Thanks for joining me.