Monday, January 11, 2010

(While football is primarily a North American sport, I'm sure my international readers will agree that idiotically extreme sports fans are universal, though the sport varies).

Dr. Grumpy: "When did this all start?"

Mr. Touchdown: "Mmm. I think Dad's right arm stopped working in the 2nd quarter."

Dr. Grumpy: "Any idea what time?"

Mr. Touchdown: "I dunno. It was the 2nd quarter. Yeah, that was it. Because normally Dad makes a sandwich at halftime, but today he just stayed on the couch and stared at the TV. He was real quiet, even though it was a good game. Normally he really gets into them."

Dr. Grumpy: Well, it looks like it's too late to give him TPA, the clot-busting drug. We can only give it within a few hours of when things start and..."

Mr. Touchdown: "Look! I would've gotten him in here sooner, but the game went into overtime! That's not my fault! Can't you give it anyway? What's the worst that could happen?"

On Super Bowl days the ER is typically dead silent during the game, and about 20 minutes after it's over gets overwhelmed with sprains, chest pains, and other trauma that people felt wasn't improtant enough to get checked out until after the game.

Actually my favorite line is, "I think Dad's right arm stopped working in the second quarter." I love this. Perhaps Mr. Touchdown can sue the Pack for going into overtime and thereby preventing the TPA.

I believe this, because I once had a client call me after the Superbowl to tell me her horse had been colicking since the pre-game show. They went out during commercial breaks to beat it back onto its feet and chase it around the pasture.

I like to hope paying for IV fluid support (usually I can get away with simply passing an NG tube) will help them remember to call the veterinarian sooner next time, but have my doubts.

We have similar patients at this end of the continent (I'm in BC, Canada) only with hockey. I looked after a poor fellow with CHF who drove himself to hospital (gack!) and had O2 sats of 67% on arrival. Said he had to wait for the hockey game to finish, and it went into overtime. Told me the SOB started in the 1st period.

My former (work) partner is married to a Green Bay Cheesehead. NOTHING would surprise me from a rabid sports fan, much less a Green Bay variant.

Hubby's ex-wife once broke her foot in five places jumping up to cheer the Redskins while watching the game at home. And refused to go to the ER until the end of the game. And attended the next game, which was held outdoors, in a blizzard, while on crutches & in a cast.

Not to mention the number of domestic calls and assaults I have investigated related to football. The game seems to bring out violence in people - wonder why?

My old college roommate updated her Facebook status to indicate that it was a statewide day of mourning since the Packers lost yesterday. She lives outside of Milwaukee. I really hope she's kidding. Having gone home for a weekend with her during football season years ago, it may be true. Those Wisconsin people are obsessive about the Packers.

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

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