Category: marriage

If I read an article, book, or even an Instagram caption that speaks to me I will write it down in a note. I typically pull from these quotes or thoughts to write my blog posts or post my own captions on Instagram.
Today I had this thought that I want to post things as they come to me instead of having them planned out in advance, or instead of seeking that perfect photo to snap to go along with the words I have in mind to share. It’s an effort to be more present; to share what’s currently rumbling through my heart and head.

So this is where I’ve chosen to dump all the little tidbits I’ve previously gathered.
Get ready to read. Are you set? GO!

Would you admit that you started out thinking marriage was going to have very few difficult moments and overall your vision was much bliss and fairytale vibes?!
I’ll admit it. I honestly thought marriage would be so much easier than dating.
With four years of dating behind us, I pictured our foundation being unshakeable, and secure enough to carry us through anything, especially any difficult time.
Although a solid foundation of friendship IS great, my vision of marriage didn’t require so much effort. But it’s like Levi Lusko says, “marriage is spelled w-o-r-k.”
At 20, I was immature and selfish when we vowed forever.
Reality smacked me in the face and I had a big pity party. [I’m a recovering narcissist.]
Four years in, there was a wake up call; which is a story for another time.
It pushed me to put in the effort required to flourish our marriage.
I read books and articles, put advice to practice, and made the conscious choice to make my husband a priority.

Seven and a half years in we were rebuilding from scratch; another story for another time.
I vowed to put in even more effort.
Over a year later, there are still days I fail. There are full weeks I fail.
But my encouragement to you is the same encouragement I repeat over and over to myself : progress not perfection.

In all my progress I’ve come across plenty of articles and books with all sorts of advice on ‘how to make your marriage better than ever.’
In this post, I’ve gathered a compilation of some encouragement I’ve found through my research and own desire for a flourishing marriage.

Is it possible to make your marriage better than ever? Absolutely!
It’s all up to you and the efforts you’re willing to put in.
Proceed with understanding that personal pruning is involved.
The pruning process is not to harm you, but to blossom the fruit of your labor. Continue reading →

Can I take a wild guess? Divorce?
It is a very relevant fear when the statistics say half [yes, 50%] of all marriages in the United States end in divorce.
This begs the question, what are we doing wrong?
Pause. Take a moment to look at this article by Dr. John Gottman, who is extremely accurate at predicting divorce.
Are you willing to admit that you use a harsh startup, criticism or stonewalling, negative body language, and/or do not regularly apologize?
They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

It was my momma’s 40th birthday.
My dad organized a fishing charter around Flathead Lake in northwest Montana.
It was a lovely day of catching and releasing, family memories being made, sunburns, and then after we finished lunch we cruised to shore for the grand finale!
Once we hit land, my momma was surprised with friends singing “Happy Birthday.”
The cake looked beautiful.
Chocolate frosting, simple but intricate decorations, and a single “40” candle waiting to be blown out.
After much applause my momma grabbed the knife and started to cut her cake.
But something odd was happening…she couldn’t slice into it.
Giggles and robust laughter erupted.
“FOOLED YOU!” Yelled out one friend. “It’s a sponge!”
Not at all what any of us (except the friend that made it) were expecting.
Looking on the outside there was no way to tell the the inside was a massive sponge you would use to scrub your vehicle.

In the same way the cake was deceiving, I have found that marriage is not at all what I expected it to be. Continue reading →