Monday, February 12, 2007

A Letter To Concerned Relatives

My son is just turning 12. I have not been actively pushing him to do "schoolwork", in fact, he hasn't been doing much of anything. I was getting some flack from relatives because he can't "rattle off" the times tables when they fire questions at him. This had me thinking about how I could explain "unschooling" to people who have no idea what it means. Their main concern (other than the ever popular "socialization" question) were that the kids didn't have "some kind of regimented schedule of learning" and that I was keeping them home to "shelter" them from "the real world". Here is a copy of the letter I wrote them:

Your first concern was that they should have "regimented" schedules for learning. A good schedule is one that meets your personal requirements. Mike's (DH) schedule changes weekly to meet his work requirements. My children's schedules change to meet their requirements. There is nothing inherently "right" about getting up early or going to bed by 8pm. Some of our best learning experiences have occurred at night, when the kids are laying down listening to me read to them.

The idea of sitting down at a table and reading out of a textbook is a misunderstanding of what learning really involves. The tiny bits of facts that are generally presented in textbooks are difficult if not impossible to apply to everyday life. I am curious what a "sensible goal" for curriculum would be in your opinion? My main goal is to raise independent, thinking, loving adults with a grasp on the basic skills they will need to succeed in life. Just how much of what YOU learned in school do you use everyday? Quick, what is the capital of Germany? What is the major export of Brazil? Have you ever dissected a frog at work? Recite the periodic table of elements in order. What is the symbol for Iron? Diagram this sentence and circle the predicate and underline any prepositions. Diagram a factor lattice for the number 32. Had enough?

On the other hand, if you make learning part of your lifestyle, you are learning all the time. We made a weak battery by using foil, salt, and baking soda.... to clean the tarnish off my good silver. We experiment with chemical reactions every day... it's called cooking. What makes an egg go from a liquid to a solid? Why does cornstarch change the physical properties of a white sauce? What makes the holes in bread? How does yeast make dough rise? If you have company coming and you have to triple your recipe for Pepper Steak, how much soy sauce will you need if the original recipe calls for 1/3 cup? If you get $20 for your birthday, and your brother has $5 left over from Christmas, and there is a toy that you want that costs $35 but is on sale this week for 25% off plus tax, if you pool your money, can you buy it? And if you do, what fraction of it is really yours, since you paid more for it than your brother? :-) Now THAT is practical learning!

Quizzing a child to see if he knows the times tables and can rattle them off is not an accurate measurement of that child's grasp on math. I am using a practical, hands on approach to math that give the child a grasp of the fundamentals. If they can see units instead of numbers on paper, then it is easier to manipulate numbers. I don't want my children to just spout memorized facts, I want them to grasp the concepts that make those facts work. For example, yesterday I asked Chris to figure 3 times 12. He got it in seconds. I asked him how he got the answer so fast, since he has only been working on the times tables up to 10. He said "it was easy, you just take 3x10 and add 3x2 ... duh!" See, it doesn't matter if he KNOWS the answer by memory, it is more important that he knows how to GET the answer! Memorizing math facts is only for your own convenience. It has no bearing on your understanding of multiplication. I could teach IVY the times tables. (she is already learning the 3's times table from listening to her brothers practice) but she obviously would have no idea what they mean.

If you believe that my primary reason for homeschooling is to keep my kids away from the "big bad world out there," you are WAY off! I keep my kids home because I LIKE THEM HERE! I want to have this time to spend with them, I want them to be able to develop close ties with their brothers (and sister). I want them to get their values from US, not their peers. In case you hadn't noticed, my children are sweet, loving, intelligent, thoughtful, considerate, helpful, and basically great kids! Why do I need to send them away for 8 hours a day? What will they learn in school that will make such a difference in their lives? I can think of many negative things that they would learn there that would effect their lives! Hmmm, lets see, there's sex, drugs, peer dependance, bad language, bad attitudes, humanism, humiliation, low self-esteem. I can't see how learning any of these things will benefit my children! So why send them? What would they get at school that is so valuable that they can't learn it at home? Why not turn that around and ask, what can they get at home that they can't get at school?

Unconditional love, acceptance, support, guidance, godly training and values, practical life experience, learning how to make a marriage work, how to be a good parent, to share, to show compassion, to help others, to make good decisions. I would say that the things you get at home are the most important. Somehow, a "good job" isn't going to be much help if your marriage is falling apart, is it? What good is a high school diploma if you don't know how to balance a checkbook or do your own grocery shopping, or cook your own meals? And if you think school teaches these things, you are sadly mistaken! School is an artificial environment, nothing there pertains to real life.

No other time in your life will you be in that kind of circumstance where you are stuck in a room with people exactly your own age, working next to, but not with each other, being told to do things by an "authority figure" that have absolutely no bearing on your real life. (Ok, maybe prison comes close) It is no wonder that school attendance is compulsory, no thinking person would voluntarily go there!

You talk about my kids having to go out and meet the world face to face. Well I have news for you.... they LIVE in the real world, it is the public school that is the sheltered environment. My kids get "real life" experiences every day. They go shopping, they run errands, they do housework. How much of what goes on in a classroom is what YOU do every day?

There will be no great "shock" for my kids, they are already LIVING in the real world. Why would I want to take them and pen them up in an institution for 12 years? If you have any specific questions about my children's education, please feel free to ask me. I am quite pleased with their progress.

My Shelfari Bookshelf

My New Favorite Poem

The Wreckers of Homes

The Prince of the legions of darkness was sitting ensconced on his teetering throne,Awaiting an army of specialized demons whose job was the wrecking of homes.They were due to report on the war they had waged, and soon they came canteringhither;From the four winds they came, the demons and imps, from yon and afar and fromthither.“Report!” barked the Prince. One by one they came forward-and told of the homesthey had wrecked, wantonly, shamelessly splitting them up with a pitiless,morbid effect.“I drove the wedges,” said Jealousy slyly, a shriveled black imp with a glare,“I invaded their thoughts with satanical skill. It’s a cinch when I break up a pair.”: Oh, yeah!” sneered Mistrust, “I am far more effective. I sit on their shoulders andwhisper.I perch there, for instance, and say to the wife, “He’s a teller of tales, is your mister.”Next I say he’s a liar, then say he’s unfaithful, then I say: “You just watch him a bit,”And before very long she sees all kinds of things, And I prod her to tell him ‘I quit.’”“Ha! You are not half as successful as I!” Infidelity said with a grin,“You are merely a Doubt, but I am The Deed, I’ve got medals to prove that I win.”“Ho, ho!” laughed Old Alcohol, veteran demon, “You’d seldom have won but for me!I take special delight in breaking up homes,” he chuckled with hideous glee.Up piped an imp, Carnal Courtship by name, “If it were not for me...” (and he cackled)“If I had not got them all started off wrong, you big shots would feel mightyshackled.”Boredom and Laziness, Incident Nagger and Cruelty all took their turn.Spite made a hit, and Hatred another, with tales that would make your ears burn.“Did you get them ALL?” roared the Prince from his throne. They were allshamefaced, and suddenly still. They shriveled in silence and trembled withterror, appearing dejected and ill.“Report!” the Prince thundered. “What have you to say?” One quivered, “You simplydon’t knowWhat it’s like in some homes. We are demons of darkness and simply can’t getthrough The Glow.”“What glow?” screamed the Ruler. “We don’t know just what,” said the imp with atremulous grin,For one thing, they start off the day with a prayer – and that kind, well, it’s hard to getin.”“Pshaw!” said the Prince. “It is true,” countered jealousy. “O you don’t know howI’ve tried.I have pounded their ears. I have battered their brains, but I had to get out e’re I died.The moment I come to the husband or wife they call on the One – you know Who –And He comes, and I haven’t a chance in the world! In that case, Prince, just whatwould you do?”“And I, sir,” said Hatred, “have neither a chance, not a ghost of a chance I say,When a fool keeps whispering to his wife, ‘I love you more every day!’”“You can’t say that I haven’t tried,” pouted anger. “Sometimes I’ll even get in;And just when I think I am winning the battle, they jump up and call me a sin.”“I,” said Old Laziness, lolling around, “If Hatred can’t do it, why bother!For with Love in the way, those husbands and wives do nothing but slave for eachother.”“And I,” mumbled Boredom, “I know Who’s at fault, it’s that FOE Who again isalive!They sing about Him and they talk about Him, and I haven’t a chance to survive.”Carnal Courtship crouched low so the prince of the ranks would forget that he evenwas there.He spied him in spite of it. “Carnal,” Prince roared, “Why did you not tempt everypair?”“I tried!” quivered Carnal, “but what can you do? Some won’t even bite. Somerepent,And the Enemy comes and He chases you out; and, sir, when HE sends, you areSENT!”“Are there many homes left where we haven’t a foothold?” the prince of thespecialists queried.“Quite a few,” sighed the imps. “They are simply impervious. They have left us allweakened and wearied. Those marriages last, O twenty-five years! It’s acinch that they last for life.They get harder and harder and harder to wreck – those homes where the husband andwifeHave Yahushua at the head, and they all pray together, are submissive and loving and true:And frankly, we’ll tell you, to break up that kind is more than we demons can do!”