Daft, But Not Punk: The Grammy Awards 2014

It’s always a joy to watch awards shows. It’s the sheer joy of the thing as we watch uncomfortable speeches, awkward silences after attempted jokes and disastrous outfits. And that’s just me sitting at home making jokes on Twitter.

The show opened up with Beyonce who was joined by her other half, who treated us to a whiff of “Dad dancing” – the first time I have noticed the phenomenon in a rapper. I reckon that gives us all hope.

Lorde then performed “Royals” and picked up a special award for being a teenage popstar and not getting arrested for driving while blind drunk or dancing inappropriately with a middle aged Beetlejuice lookalike with a foam hand buried somewhere unpleasant. Which is a good thing.

Next, an act never seen out in public without the trademark blank, robotic look. That’s right, it was Justin Timberlake. Just kidding. Daft Punk then picked up their first award of the night. They swept the board, “Getting Lucky” more times than François Hollande. They won five Grammy Awards but are still not allowed into any branch of Barclay’s Bank or a UK Post Office. They are well known for covering their faces using disguises such as helmets and masks while performing, which begs the question “Couldn’t Shane MacGowan extend his career using the same tactic?”

Katy Perry dressed as a pole dancing witch, complete with broomsticks as poles, an idea which JK Rowling originally had, but which was struck out in early drafts.

Pink then gave a typically understated performance singing whilst performing circus tricks on a trapeze. I wondered if she might start cat juggling or riding a unicycle…

Robin Thicke played with Chicago next, although thankfully he didn’t change the words to “If you leave me now” by adding “I’ll assume that means “yes”….”. Chicago appeared to be Cetera-less. I was willing them to push Thicke off stage, but they always were a bit wimpy…

After that Taylor Swift underwhelmed the room in her usual inimitable fashion, before Paul McCartney played “Queenie Eye” from his “New” album alongside Ringo, whilst the TV cameras panned over some of the most expensive plastic surgery in the crowd.

More acts never seen together before included Stevie Wonder with Daft Punk, Imagine Dragons with Kendrick Lamar and Ozzy Osborne with the twenty-first century…

Then followed Macklemore who gave us a lovely moment as Queen Latifa pronounced thirty odd couples married whilst he sang “Same Love”. Madonna then arrived onstage wearing a top hat and a cane. Or does she just need a walking stick now?

Daft Punk won record of the year, and as their names were called by Smokey Robinson and Steven Tyler, you could see the raw emotion etched on their helmets…

Metallica played perhaps the ultimate, respectful and most moving tribute to Lou Reed by not playing anything off Lulu.

Album of the year? Why not. It was won by The Stig of course, who collected it on behalf of Daft Punk.

The night ended with an all star rock band featuring Dave Grohl, Josh Homme, Lindsey Buckingham of Fleetwood Mac and Nine Inch Nails playing QOTSA’S “My God Is the Sun”, with Grohl on drums – the best musical moment of the evening which was fittingly and quite brilliantly interrupted by an advert for a holiday company…

Farewell then, Grammys. I wonder what next year will bring? Perhaps someone just singing a song? Nah, that’d be ridiculous….

20 replies

I’m howling over here in Canada! Now I feel no need at all to watch a recording of this show. How could the show top your commentary on it? Well done my friend, well done. (I didn’t know Robin Thicke played with Chicago, interesting…but not enough to watch it.)

My favourite quote from your review:

“Metallica played perhaps the ultimate, respectful and most moving tribute to Lou Reed by not playing anything off Lulu.”

I have a lot to say about the Grammys — live posted on my Rock-tales Facebook page — but my wrap-up comment is that I am still waiting to see another performance like Christina Aguilera’s cover of “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World” from the 2007 Grammy awards. She completely let it loose, and no one has come close to that since.

Pink had an opportunity, but she cares more about auditioning for the circus than singing apparently. Everyone else — they seem to hold back. Chicago held back on “Blurred Lines” — what a great opportunity to bring the lush horn sound into that song, but it totally didn’t happen. Sara Bareilles kept it tame with Carol King, probably out of deference. Carol King was great, but she clearly couldn’t belt it out in the same way. Willie Nelson & Co. were low-key. Beyonce and Jay-Z were forgettable.The energy of Trent Reznor was broken by the cut-in from the advertisers.

I loved that Ringo joined Macca on stage, but so much of what makes McCartney great live is his band. They are awesome. That performance, though, wasn’t about kickin’ it.

The closest the Grammys came this year was Stevie Wonder with Nile Rogers, Daft Punk and Pharrell. I would have loved hearing Nile do a smokin’ solo, which didn’t happen.

The Civil Wars were great a couple of years back, but no one has match Christina on the Grammy stage… not even Arcade Fire when they won for Album of the Year.

Hey, thanks for that – a much better summing up than mine! I haven’t watched them all, but it appears to be more of a spectacle nowadays (from what I read the ratings were less than X Factor one year) so perhaps some music content is sacrificed to make a better TV show?

Perfect eulogy for that sad display of preening nitwits. I tuned in just when Stevie Wonder debased his legacy by having those Daft Clowns stand behind him, pretending to twiddle knobs…. and why did they keep cutting away to Paul, Ringo, and YOKO(??) ‘s spastic attempts at dancing??

Wonder, bless him, already debased his legacy with “I Just Called To Say I Love You” and performing with Blue. Being on the Grammy’s scarcely scratched the surface of those two…
As for the dancing – I think being filmed whilst dancing in an audience is terribly unfair – no-one can carry it off…it’s cruel really.