Forty and divorced. After 20 years of monogamy, what does life hold in store for a mother of two who is re-starting on the dating scene?

Thursday, 7 February 2013

My Marathon Year!

I don't know whether it's a result of all of last year's Olympic excitement, but this year, all my local friends (who are seriously into their sport) seem to be committing to huge physical challenges. There are 100 mile cycle races being booked, Iron Mans and half Iron Mans, and as for me... finally
(and not without some trepidation!), I have a place in the London Marathon!

It would seem rather
obvious to point out that running 26.2 miles is a huge physical challenge for
an old bird like myself…!But what
I don’t think I really took on board, until I started the training, was what an
emotional and psychological challenge it is.

And so, this January,
having recovered from Christmas and New Year, I started on my training
schedule.As it stands, I have
four days a week when I run; one day when I swim; another day I go to the gym
and work on my abdominals and core strength and finally, a day of rest.

I can imagine many
people wonder where I get the time, because it does take a considerable amount
of time.And I have to answer that
despite being the world’s worst morning person, I have had to learn to get up
early.And I mean early, when it’s
still cold and dark.I have also
had to work out a way to combine it with other commitments.For example, taking my kids to school
by public transport and running home, instead of driving the car.And the worst I’ve experienced so far
is running in the half dark when it’s -2C and snowing, arriving back at the car
with frozen hair and eyebrows.Did
I enjoy it?Hell, no!But the sense of achievement was
incredible.

I am not a young
person any more.Young in spirit
maybe, but not in body!I admit
that I sometimes worry that I will get up one day and my legs will just fall
off!But I am now committed to
doing it and I don’t want to let myself or my children down.

I know I have a long
way to go.The longest run I’ve
done so far is 14.5 miles – and I’ve only done it twice.But I am discovering so much about
myself.

I realise that I have the
capacity to do far more than I give myself credit for.I have no doubt that many of us, who
are not over-burdened with self-confidence, are the same as me.But I also know that I have to be
prepared psychologically. On a
weekly basis, I am having to run ever increasing distances.But I can’t do it if I’m not mentally
prepared. I have to set my mind to the distance, or number of laps of the park,
and just focus on doing it.

Whilst I am very lucky
to have a group of people I can train with, some of whom are experienced
marathon runners, I have had to learn to zone out if they are either faster
than me, or wanting to do a greater distance.I have to rein in my competitiveness, forget about what
everyone else is up to, and just concentrate on improving my own fitness
level.And that’s not always easy.

I don’t have vast
amounts of emotional flexibility.If I’m running with someone who decides, during the last quarter of the
run, that they want to up the speed, or just do a couple of extra miles, I find
it demoralising.Part of me wants
to excuse my lesser ability by attributing it to others being younger, or male!The other part of me thinks it’s no
excuse!Maybe this is something I
need to work on in the next couple of months.To focus on my ability to deal with the ‘extras’ when I’m
feeling like I’m already pushing myself.

When I first told
people I was doing the marathon they asked what time I wanted to achieve.To begin with, I said I would be happy
to just finish the race.Now, I
want to do it in under four hours.I know I will be really disappointed with myself if I don’t.In the next few months, I will be
keeping a training diary – which I hope I don’t bore you with!And I also want to mention I am doing
this for charity.

My next post will be
about the charity I’m running for.And I will post a link to my Just Giving page.If anyone feels inspired by what I’m doing, or just likes
what the charity does, I would, of course, be really grateful for any
sponsorship you feel able to give.

All of a sudden,
running 26.2 miles is seeming less of a tall order.Raising the money for charity is scaring me more!

I visited your site today to see if you were blogging again. I miss reading your posts. When I first found your blog, it helped me so much in the aftermath of my own divorce, now more than two years in the past. I just wanted to say thank you for that, for sharing your story so honestly and bravely. I can't be that open and raw in my own public writing, but I admire people who can, because it really does help others.

I wish you the best of luck with your marathon running, and hope that someday you will find the time to blog again.