That’s the question that plagues all of us right? When you’re full of the urge to clean up and are standing there beside the trash can with something with “potential” in your hand…what do you do? Put it back and keep it indefinitely? Chuck it before you change your mind? Put it aside to either sell or give away? Sometimes, the options are overwhelming. I get it. I’ve been there, too.

Today I’m presenting a guest post from Natalie, a storage expert from London, England, while I work on decluttering my own basement. Again. She offers some direction for decision making as you sort through your own stuff this fall. I especially like the 2 Month Test. If you have any additional suggestions for making decluttering easier, please leave a comment!

Guest Post: To Keep or Not to Keep

Spacing woes plague every household. No matter how meticulously you plan your storage, you end up with stuff littered around. Add to this an obsessive-compulsive prone person, life can become a living nightmare. Stuff scattered all over the place becomes an eyesore and hampers the free movement (physical or of the eye) around the house. A messy house attracts negative energies and may make the inhabitants irritable.

A perfectly organized home is highly desirable, but an unachievable target. Especially, owing to the hoarding mentality today, the problem is even graver. We don’t want to throw away stuff and we don’t have an appropriate place for storing it. Packing up boxes and shoving them over the loft is no solution. You finally have to let go of things that are no longer required. Here are a few tips and tricks that can help you get rid of the clutter:

Bring it on

The first step to the solution of the problem is to accept the problem. Let go of procrastination and delve into the task head on. However, keep your targets realistic. Aim for a cupboard or a drawer per day. Set aside a specific time that you would solely dedicate to the de-cluttering.

Dealing with the devil

If you are a woman, you might secretly agree to the fact that it is your stuff that occupies the maximum place in the house. The infinite clothes, bags, shoes, and accessories always pose a storage problem. You cannot cramp up your bags and shoes, hence they occupy even more space. Here, you have an old formula, only until now you’ve not been sticking to it- every time you buy something new, throw away something old. This may be highly painful at times, but the key is to be strict. You weren’t going to wear that old fashioned skirt again anyway!

Sports stuff

Every home has some sort of old sports gear that keeps on eating up space, without being used, year after year. Whether it’s a board game or old baseball bats or a fishing set, it’s best to get done with them. If you have some functional sports gear you no longer use, you can donate it to a kids’ orphanage (add to your karma account). At the same time, there might be things that are no longer of use or do not function anymore. For these, call up the local recycling agency and they’d be happy to take care of it. If you have some heavy gym equipment that is no longer of much use, it is best to call a removals service to get rid of it. We don’t you to sprain your back while following our advice!

Homeless Oddities

You would find a number of things like old books, CDs, magazines, stationary, electronics etc., which have no apparent use to you, yet they stay in your house forever. Of course, some of these have an emotional value to you- some may be gifts, some may be too rare to be thrown away, but the majority of them can go to junk. Anything broken can be chucked away immediately.

Crockery

Apart from that tea set that belonged to your grandmother’s grandmother, you can do away with a lot of idle crockery in your house. Nevertheless, you never have the heart to throw away some precious glassware. Spark up your kinder side and gift them to a friend or sibling. In fact, you can get into a deal with them to share crockery. This way, you’ll have more variety without being bothered about the storage issues.

The two-month test

Even when you are done with dealing most of the above mentioned stuff, there would still be items you neither have the heart to throw away nor have the space to put them. For these, you have to be strict with yourself and let them undergo the 2-month test. Box up all such stuff, mark the date on the box, and put it away. If in two months, you don’t open the box for anything in it, you can safely chuck it away. It would be best to give away the closed box as it is. If you open it, chances are you’d come across something that will tempt you and you’ll succumb to keeping it again, re-launching the clutter cycle.

Storage Rentals

My home city, London, England is dotted with self-storage companies, but it is a better option to first manage the clutter and go to a storage facility as a last resort. It may come in helpful in a situation where you have your heart set on new type of furniture, but are not being able to sell your old one at the desired price. You can temporarily store the furniture in a storage facility.

Share this:

Fall Cleaning

Summer is drawing to a close, and Fall brings crisp air and gentle breezes. It’s the perfect time to open all the windows and get in a little Fall Cleaning. Everyone seems to get the urge to do a big sweep through the house in the Spring. That’s great, and I encourage that habit! But don’t overlook the chance to do this again before winter.

Think of all the new things you might have brought into your home over the last season. Different sports gear. Beach toys. Stuff from the cottage. A whole new warm weather wardrobe, even! Do you have a new collection of family reunion t-shirts, wedding bombonieres, and travel tchotchkes? How about all the art your children made at camp from Popsicle sticks and glitter glue?

Do you have a place for it? Can you MAKE a place for it? Fall is the perfect time to do a big purge not only to make room for the newer stuff you want to keep, but also to make room for the inevitable onslaught this holiday season. And if you just can’t bear to give it up, here are…

15 reasons to encourage you to declutter

Share this:

Today is the 1st anniversary of Not Just Clutter!

I can’t believe it. When I first sat down to write the first post on Not Just Clutter, I never imagined what this blog would mean to me. And I REALLY never expected it to mean anything to anyone else. I wasn’t sure anyone else would want to read about compulsive hoarding disorder.

Somehow, you found me. I opened up and shared my personal life without any idea of what would happen. I actually thought I might get some backlash from people disgusted by compulsive hoarding. It’s been a whole year, and not one negative comment (touch wood). And while I don’t get a lot of comments in the posts, which I understand for your own privacy concerns, I DO get direct emails from other children and loved ones of hoarders. You confide your stories in me, and I respect your trust. I’m glad you know you’re not alone, and that there’s someone to empathize.

It’s Not Just About Me

So, once I realized I was reaching others, Not Just Clutter stopped being just about me and my Mom. It became a catalyst for conversation. For creating understanding. For stopping stigma. For generating awareness about a misunderstood and often reviled living condition. For expanding on mental illness in general. Now, I look for ways to bring you any information I can find about compulsive hoarding, like new research, or studies looking for participants. I get insight from other relatives of hoarders, and try to give a lighter view, too.

Year in Review

I first started this blog with a post about Mom’s phone. Or rather, her lack of a phone. I was frustrated with not being able to communicate with her because her land line phone stopped working and the clutter prevented her from finding and fixing the problem. Eventually, she got a cell phone. And then lost it. Found it, and lost it again. Then she bought a second cell phone. She still has that one so far. All this time, I thought she would have cancelled her phone service for the broken land line. I learned recently she’s still paying that bill because she hopes someday to resolve the issue. Uh huh. Wait, was that a pig flying past my window? No, just some B.S.

And wasted money.

There have been a few feeble murmurings about cleaning up. Mom has talked about packing up some stuff to take to charity. That hasn’t happened. She DOES continue to shop at a charity thrift store, weekly.

Others have noticed her hoarded van. Someone who works at the thrift store actually mentioned it to my sister, Lynn, one day. This person said to her “Your Mom is in here all the time. Wow, is her van ever packed! I hope her house isn’t like that, too!”

What does one say to that?

She keeps her house at 60 degrees all winter because the oil bill is already insanely high. Almost $900 for 3 weeks here recently. She can’t get service or repair people to finish a job. She takes her dirty clothes to a laundromat because she can’t get to her own washer and dryer. She makes a lot of sacrifices for her stuff.

Mom is no closer to accepting she has a problem, but at least this blog is helping me cope. I feel I’m able to release a great deal of stress by typing it all out. There’s something very gratifying about hitting Publish. Vulnerable, true, but cathartic.

With Heartfelt Thanks

I appreciate you joining me on this journey. Maybe you’ve got a similar path to follow. Good luck to you. Maybe you’re just curious about compulsive hoarding. That’s ok, too. Don’t hesitate to ask me questions, leave your comments, or send me your emails. We’ll see where things stand next year at this time on Not Just Clutter. Who knows what might happen.

Why? Because a Canadian company (Bell Canada) is donating .5 cents to mental health research for every tweet and text using that hash tag. My Twitter feed was alive with people sharing their support and stories!! I loved it! Yesterday was a big day, but we should all be committed to keeping the conversation going every day to stop the stigma of mental health. This goes not just for compulsive hoarding, but for ANY mental disorder.

Final tallies aren’t in just yet…but the last time I checked, Bell was reporting 85, 536, 167 texts, tweets, and long distance calls that all qualified under #BellLetsTalk. Multiple that by .5 cents each, and that’s well over 4 million dollars raised! In ONE day!! In ONE country!!!

I bet that will put some minds at ease, huh? 😉

Guest Post: Squalor Holler

Today I have a guest post up at Squalor Holler. Yep, that’s right…there are a whole bunch of fellow bloggers sharing their experience as children of compulsive hoarders. And Sarah at Squalor Holler has a great series going on her blog sharing the stories of fellow COHs. And today is MY day!

So scoot on over to read more about my interview, and be sure to give Sarah some love in the comments. She’s doing her part to keep the conversation going.

One of my main goals for writing my Not Just Clutter blog is to help dispel the misconceptions of compulsive hoarding disorder. By sharing my personal story, perhaps others will realize hoarders are not uneducated lazy slobs. Compulsive hoarding is complicated, heart-wrenching, and utterly baffling, but by trying to understand the nuances of hoarding, we can break down the stereotypes of not just this disorder, but of all mental illness.

Stop the Stigma

1 in 5 Canadians will experience some sort of mental health illness in their lifetime. The chances are pretty high you know someone struggling with mental health. Maybe they’re anxious about paying the bills. Maybe their mood swings from low to high to low before lunch time. Maybe she’s wrestling with post-partum depression and feels guilty for not bonding with her newborn baby. Maybe he’s new to Canada, having escaped with only the clothes on his back from his war-torn home country.

Maybe it’s you who feels like you’re barely keeping it together every single day.

And you hide it.

You hide it in shame. You shouldn’t have to.

Teen Suicide

Last week, I was sent reeling when I learned of the death of a 16-year old girl. This girl had been in my home several times, caring for my daughter, Maddie. I knew her to be smart, sensible, and compassionate. Talented and athletic. With a broad smile you couldn’t help but reflect with her around. She had plans, and her whole future ahead of her. We lost touch when she moved away from town, but I always considered her to be a positive role model for Maddie. It’s tragic enough that she died so young. It’s unspeakable that depression got a hold of her, driving her to suicide.

As a mother, I couldn’t help but imagine my own daughters at age 16, and wonder how I’ll possibly save them from the same fate. My heart weeps for this girls family and friends. I only knew her a fairly short time, but it was enough to be affected by her for life.

More than One Mental Illness

Sometimes, someone might be suffering from more than one mental illness. I know of someone with schizophrenia as well as depression & anxiety. You might think the schizophrenia is what affects this person the most, but it’s actually well controlled by medication. The anxiety is a daily struggle though.

A fellow child of a hoarder talks about her post-traumatic stress disorder and dysthymic disorder on her blog Hoarding Child. I didn’t even know what dysthymic disorder was until she shared it with me through Twitter. A day later, another friend confided she also dealt with it. I had no idea. I respect the trust these people put in me. If they couldn’t trust at least one person with this, would they feel alone? Be a person other people can trust to tell, and together we’ll stop the stigma.

My Mom

My Mom has a laundry list of health problems, mental and physical. I suspect they’re all related, and feed the compulsive hoarding. How could one possibly deal with chronic pain for over 20 years without depression, post-traumatic stress, and other complications? I remember one of the lows Mom went through when I was in my early Twenties. She leaned heavy on the table, head in hands weeping. I wrapped my arms around her without a clue of any other way of helping. She told me she wished someone would drag her out to the field and just shoot her.

We weren’t exactly sympathetic back then either. “Chin up. Don’t let yourself get in a funk.” What did we know? I was talking about this very memory with my Mom last night. And you know what? She doesn’t ever remember saying that…she insists she was never so low she wished to die. But I tell ya…that’s not something I’d dare make up, and I’m certain my ears work perfectly. She’s either in denial (no surprise there), or her memory has gotten foggy in the last 20 years.

So there. That’s 5 people within my inner circle who are dealing with mental illness; they’re just the first ones I thought of. I know there are others, and I’m ok with that. They’re not raving lunatics brandishing axes, nor are they speaking in tongues. They’re not standing on street corners preaching about the end of the world. They’re not homeless, own excessive amounts of cats, and I’ve never seen them go “postal.” (there’s a stigma that’s gotta go)

They’re just people dealing with a wicked twist of fate. Imbalanced chemicals in their brains and suddenly everything changes. No one asks for it. No one deserves it. Maybe it’ll be me next time. I’m lucky to have a support system to help me. My husband, Will, is rock solid. I hope he knows I’ve got his back, too.

You’re Not Alone

Whatever you’re feeling, please know you’re not alone. People love you, even people who don’t know you. The young girl I know who commit suicide last week will never know how the community pulled together to support her family and friends. When the mommy community in my town learned of this girls death, they immediately began an outpouring of concern and unbiased support. People who’d never met the girl, or her family, stepped up to provide food, money, and even clothes for the parents to wear to the funeral. Friends set up RIP Facebook pages with fond memories, smiling photos, and declarations of admiration. There’s no mistaking this girl was deeply loved. And she didn’t realize it when she needed it most.

What can we do?

Good question. What can we do? We need to be open-hearted for others to talk to us. We need to listen when friends share their struggles with us. Reserve your judgment and criticism, and show compassion instead. We need to talk for ourselves when others are willing to listen. As fellow citizens of Mankind, we all need to be supportive of one another. When many carry the weight of a few, the weight is suddenly more manageable. Do your best to avoid adding more weight with tasteless jokes and sweeping generalizations. As individuals, we don’t need to have all the answers, but we DO need to persist when we have unanswered questions.

National Standard of Canada for Psychological Health and Safety in the Workplace

Very recently, a new voluntary standard has been released to give employers a guideline for promoting employees’ psychological health and preventing psychological harm due to workplace factors. Brilliant! It’s about time we started giving mental health as much attention as physical health. They so often go hand in hand. Bell Canada has shown its commitment to this initiative by including mental health training for all Bell managers, and implementing a return to work program for employees affected by mental illness. Let’s see how many other corporations bring this on board. Watch for activity on Twitter with #Bell_LetsTalk (Bell Let’s Talk Day). Using social media, Bell hopes to raise money, but more importantly, awareness for mental health research.

Continue the Conversation, Stop the Stigma of Mental Illness

This is an on-going story. It’s being written every day, and you’re a supportive character. And maybe, some days, you’ve a lead role. I don’t know how the plot might twist and surprise us as we go, but there’s always hope for a happy ending.

Share this:

So it seems my little blog about compulsive hoarding is starting to catch some attention! I don’t exactly know how people are starting to find their way to Not Just Clutter, but I’m certainly glad you did. After all, I do this for you! And it’s paying off in other ways.

What are the Canadian weblog awards?

So after I read that tweet, I went to check out what these Canadian Weblog Awards are all about. Here’s what I learned:

The Canadian Weblog Awards promote good weblogs of all genres from across Canada year round through regular interviews, articles, and the nomination, judging, and an award process that culminates with the announcement of the top three weblogs in each category on January 31st. The Canadian Weblog Awards are about quality not popularity, so there is no public vote. Each weblog is judged by a volunteer jury against a set of criteria.

Wow. I’m so flattered and honoured to be among some of the truly excellent Canadian blogs also nominated. It’s exciting to see Canadian talent and topics brought to the forefront.

Nominated for multiple categories

As I browsed the list of categories and nominees to find Not Just Clutter, I realized my blog is up for 3 different awards.

Best New Blog

Best Blog about Health & Wellness

Best Topical Blog

Since these awards are decided solely on their jury, there’s no voting. I’ll find out if I’ve been shortlisted in January, and the final winner announcements are made January 31. So cross your fingers for me, and stay tuned!

What’s Next

I’ve been working on a review post for a novel called Keepsake by Kristina Riggle. I read this novel a little while ago and am happy to share my thoughts about this fictional, yet eerily accurate portrayal of a compulsive hoarder and her family.