JOHN REILLY: The best big brother

Saturday

Feb 1, 2014 at 9:00 AMFeb 2, 2014 at 11:11 AM

A family is a proving ground of sorts for the lessons that life teaches. It is our parents, through a heartbeat of heredity and a history of heritage, who generally supply us with the basic building blocks required to achieve and succeed in life.

John ReillyFor The Patriot Ledger

A family is a proving ground of sorts for the lessons that life teaches. It is our parents, through a heartbeat of heredity and a history of heritage, who generally supply us with the basic building blocks required to achieve and succeed in life.

The thing is, though, that what most kids are interested in learning really has nothing to do with what their parents might want them to learn. And at the moment in time that parents are desperately trying to cement the most critical building blocks into place, kids are trying just as hard to sledgehammer them apart.

Most kids anyway. But not Trenton Cochran, a 13 year-old seventh grader from Gardner, Kansas. At a very young age, Trenton's little sister, Lindsay was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy, a recessive and genetic disease caused by a mutation in the gene necessary for the survival of motorneurons. In Lindsay's case, she was diagnosed with SMA Type II – leaving her with significant muscle and mobility impairment, and confined to a wheelchair since the age of two. There is no treatment. There is no cure.

Just don't tell Trenton she's different.

"She's just a normal kid," Trenton Cochran told me. "And I would do anything for her."

Walt Cochran, a high school history teacher and Trenton and Lindsay's father, agrees.

"We knew our lives would be a little different than they used to be," Walt Cochran said. "For all of us. We knew Lindsay's life would be hard. But with the right priorities and values, we knew we could help her overcome any difficulties."

For Lindsay's mom, Tracy, the adjustment was a bit more challenging.

"I shed some tears at first," Tracy said. "I would look out to the backyard and see the playhouse that Lindsay would never be able to climb up into. But together I knew we'd find ways to do anything."

And for the Cochran family, actions speak more loudly than words. Last summer, KLOVE Radio, a contemporary Christian radio station headquartered in Rocklin, California, announced its first ever "Unsung Hero Award" would be presented to Trenton and Lindsay, now 10 years-old. The award was based on a remarkable and viral video produced as part of a local "overcoming obstacles" series in the Cochrans' parish.

In that video, big brother Trenton becomes so passionate about his devotion and his fidelity toward his little sister that his emotions completely break. His love for his sister is both gripping and inspiring.

"We make a good pair," Trenton Cochran told me. "I'm very introverted and she is so funny and energetic. My life wouldn't be the same without her."

A profound statement from such a young boy. Only when you talk with his parents, you understand precisely where his insight comes from.

"Being a teacher, I see a lot of broken families," Walt Cochran said. "I see broken families with broken kids. And we always see the stories of murder and molestation on the front pages and on the nightly news. But this video was different. I think people identified with it because it shows that kids today do care. That you can make the most out of the hand you've been dealt. That there is always hope if you just know where to look."

The family is a bit overwhelmed as to why their video is receiving so much attention. Yet their humbleness is exceeded only by their conviction.

"We use to ask 'Why us?' " Tracy Cochran added. "Until we began to realize 'Why not us?' Everyone has heartache and hardship. Everyone has obstacles they have to overcome. Lindsay's hardships may be greater than most, but she very rarely complains. Trenton and Lindsay are not sure why this video has become such a big deal. Their relationship in the video is real and it is a very normal way of life for them. And I'd like to think that maybe this perspective comes from us."

And that's the thing. Whatever lies ahead for Lindsay Cochran, a life of great hope and a life filled with some uncertainty, she has learned from two extraordinary parents and one remarkable big brother, exactly what it takes to live well, to love and be loved.

"It's great having a big brother like Trenton," Lindsay told me. "He helps me all the time. He's always there when I need him."

John Reilly is a graduate of Stonehill College and the University of Notre Dame. A frequent contributor to The Patriot Ledger, he lives in Sharon with his wife, daughter and son.