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13.11.11

This movie will make you sick...to your core 2 duo. Here is what the problem is. Too many movies today are based on flimsy storylines, email forwards and chetan bhagat books. So here comes our writer and director...reads up a few wikipedia pages on the life and times of Kurt Cobain, and to cover up, puts Morrison as the poster boy for a movie which is so full of shit, that the rockstar should have been one of the contestants at KBC this season. It's embarrassing. And please consider this as an apology to the real rockstars who are out there. This movie is an insult to your life and our intelligence.

The entire movie could have been summarised in one of the sob stories on Indian Idol...I kid you not. And would have garnered zero sympathy/empathy votes. For someone who has movies like Apocalypse Now to appreciate mental degeneration, and people like Syd Barett for real life rockstars, this movie is the heights of lame. The guy doesn't show a hint of degeneration...no change in mental faculties...just an idiot blubbering away. How do they show his angst? He shoves a couple of reporters. Shoves!! For the love of God.

His cries of pain seem to ome from constipation rather than heartbreak.

Are you serious with the Record company stereotype and manager stereotype? Deals over Samosas? Massage laughter and everything? Fucktards.

Music next. Sadda Haq is good. End of story. Mohit Chauhan rocks....in Tum Se Hi from Jab We Met. Fizzles in this movie. Voice sounds forced, and definitely a misfit for Ranbir. A.R.Rahman, tum to aise na they...

For all of you who think Ranbir Kapoor was 'so good' as the rockstar, please back it up with reasons and thereafter, do not talk to me.

14.2.11

I understand why Vicky can be a funny nickname on a guy. But this is heights if you are in Bongoland.
This is what I am talking about. Here is my Gtalk screen after a guy named Arindam (They're all named that!) pings me.

By the power of Greyskull, let's also have a look at his very own Gtalk Page.

I rest my case.

(Big Thank You to Awesome Dawsome Sarthak for letting me borrow his identity, his time and an insight into what kind of mails he gets. And Rockstar Swamy Atul, who makes his Debut on my blog in pictorial capacity.)

31.1.11

"Eden Gardens has an exclusiveness of its own. Ethereal and elusive the enduring charm of Eden Gardens has lent an aura of its own on cricketers past and present, young and old, competitive and friendly. Endearing and enchanting, the emerald green carpet and the earnest crowd have held tough men in flannels spellbound."

This time however, the ones left spellbound are men in dhotis and women in white sarees with red border.

I loved the ICC verdict. I really did. I would rate it equivalent to Pakistan players not being included in the IPL. It's a slap on the face of CAB, nay Kolkata. And to quote Dr. Dang, “Kolkata ko pehli baar kisi ne thappad mara hai. First time. Is thappad ki goonj suni tumne? Ab is goonj ki goonj sunai degi."

The first reaction of the ICC not deeming Eden Gardens fit for the match against England was that of righteous indignation. How dare they? How can you ignore Eden Gardens? The Jewel of Cricket in India. As it turns out, the Eden currently looks very much like a Karunamoyee junction where the work for Metro is full on. It's a dumping yard. A week after the fiasco, it looks no closer to completion than it did that fateful day the verdict was delivered and the CAB had its ass handed back to it. At least the IOC got its act right after a few reporters paved the way, nitpicking on every detail that was missing from Delhi’s repertoire of infrastructure readiness for the Commonwealth.

This brings me to the greater problem at hand, that of attitudes and indifference, that of laziness and procrastination, that of ignoring development for the sake of hanging on to a supposed tradition that no one gives a damn about any more. The first reactions when a friend of mine posted that Calcutta has a long distance to cover before it shows any signs of development, was met with a vehement “No it’s not Calcutta’s fault, It’s CAB’s.”

True! TATA Nano factory not being setup is not Calcutta fault, it’s Mamata’s. Metro Project’s humongous delay is not Calcutta’s fault, it’s KMRC’s. Kolkata’s Airport modernization programme not coming even close to that of Mumbai or Delhi is not Calcutta’s fault, it’s AAI’s.

Who are in these agencies? Who are these people? If they are not what makes up Calcutta, I don’t know who does. Please, show me the developed Calcutta and the developed Calcuttans. Where are they hiding? Will they come out during the Pujas to throng the streets?

It’s time to wake up to facts. Blaming government will only get you so far. Ever wondered why each and every project running in Kolkata is either a. Delayed b. Stalled c. Scrapped d. All of the above? It’s because for everything, people have a government body or political figure to blame.

How can they drop Eden? Nahh they won’t. It’s the oldest cricket ground in India after all. It’s the best ground to play in. We’ll get it ready before the eve of the first match. Forget that the approach road is going to be messed up, that the cushioned seats will not be in place, the restrooms will not have fittings, the VIP boxes will basically be empty outhouses. Once the match starts, everything will be forgotten. Newsflash! The rest of the world does not share your views. It’s an increasingly meritocratic arena, where your loss will be somebody else’s gain. You can no longer simply Hope to get by, and get by on the basis of you being culturally significant.

Now, let’s forget for the time being what the actual 'ground' reality is. At least the verdict tells you what the outside world thinks of Kolkata. Stop politicizing petty issues and get your ass back to work. At least it would be the first step towards eliminating the 10 year lag that Kolkata has trailing the rest of Indian Metros.

20.1.11

OMG, I totally, like, ROFLed when I read ur FB status.Oh BTW, you SUCK!!I think I've had it with lameass status updates. Can't take 'em anymore.

1. Impossible means I'm Possible.Of course you are possible! The very fact that you have a 2x2 in this world to live in, you waste the oxygen by your breathing, that your parents toiled to create you, that you have the minimum education of being able to use ctrl-C ctrl-v, should also make you realise what the end result of procreation is. Hell, what with the whole population crisis that we are having, I wish you, in particular, were not possible.

2. XYZ is very sad :'(

Well boo-fuckin-hoo. There is an invention called the telephone. And then some smart ass has gone ahead and made mobile communication possible. Even an auto-rickshaw driver has a mobile phone (better than mine, I might add). I refuse to believe your friends don't have a cellphone. Call them, talk to them if you're really sad. It'll feel loads better. Stop trying to garner more attention.

3. Man, when the clock strikes three, the bamboozles will while down in their philharmonic and the melodrama of the Indianapolis will cancel out the monogamy.So you have what...300 friends on your list? And this message will be understood by what...3 of them?? Seriously, all this will get you, is some loser asking you what this means. Or one of the 3 replying with a \m/ or a :) or (this one is the worst) ;)The last one basically means, "Hey man, smart status!! No one is gonna understand that but us. Awesome! It's our secret lingo. FBI won't even know what we are up to -wink wink-".What it actually means, "We don't have a life outside the 3 of us. Good you posted this so that we feel a little self-important for a while. I'm so lonely. You want to sleep over tonite -wink wink-? "

4. 'Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get.'Did you serve in Vietnam? Can you play ping pong with both your hands? Can you run like the wind? You're not Forrest Gump. Nor the movie's scriptwriter.

5. "Insaan + NITIE = Insanity !!"Dude!! That was good. Brilliant. Original. Total 3 likes, and one comment saying "Good One".Too bad some chick is going to update her profile pic and 60% of facebook traffic worldwide will divert to her page to Like or Comment on it. Newsflash : Liking a pic won't get you into her trousers.