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September 18, 2010

This Day

I am feeling affection for this day. The sort of affection that is not nostalgia, because it is for the present moment instead of the past. An anticipation of nostalgia, rather--the sense that years from now, it will be a time such as this I remember with a twinge.

I think it is the rain falling quietly outside. Or the way the kids' playing spills through the house on the open weekend afternoon. I think maybe it is that Firefly wears Puppy's hand-me-downs I pulled out for the autumn, although I don't feel this tide of emotion every time she wears his old clothes.

Then I realize I dressed Firefly in the pants her brother wore the day he met her. The first time our family was together in one room.

9 comments:

Anti-adoption jerks really harp on adoptive parents for finding joy in their families. More wisely, my social worker and other birthmoms have told me not to place a high priority on the happiness an adoptive couple will get out of the seabass, because they don't want me to feel obligated to hand over my baby if I don't want to.

But, seeing that picture, I do feel sort of great about what I'm doing. I don't always let myself feel that. But dammit, I'm gonna help create a family as beautiful and as happy as yours.

Cool beans

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