President Obama Makes Emergency Lafayette Visit To Assess Damage To Area Golf Courses

LAFAYETTE, LA – Taking time out of his hectic schedule in his home-state of Hawaii, President Obama arrived in Lafayette this morning to assess the flood damage to the areas golf courses to ensure that they were all still playable.

Air Force One touched down at Lafayette Airport at around 7am this morning, as President Obama reportedly hurriedly dug into his trouser pocket for change to purchase a Folgers cup of coffee to-go.

His first stop was the crazy golf at Kart Ranch, where he inspected the 0.5″ puddles of water strewn across the fairways of most of the 18 holes, at which time he spoke to local reporters.

“I’m here for two main reasons”, he said, “Firstly, it’s imperative that we assess just how much damage has been caused to the area’s golf courses and just how much it’s going to get them fixed up. You can see here at Kart Ranch that there’s waterlogged fairways, flooded greens, and broken spinning windmills.”

“Secondly, and I’m not going to lie – I just want to really annoy you guys. I’m making it number one priority to play at least one game of golf a day for the rest of my term, and that includes the courses right here in Lafayette. I’ve earned it, having to put up with you folk. And then, I’m going to go home each night and read your comments on your local news outlet pages! Man, I get a great laugh out of all that. Obomber? Genius.”

After leaving Kart Ranch, it is believed that he headed to Le Triomphe Golf Course in Broussard to inspect damage. It is also believed that the Hebert Golf Course on the Northside is also on his list.