20 Survival Essentials For The Impending Apocalypse

With all these wildfires picking up in California, more and more high-Category hurricanes in Florida and the Bahamas, and the reoccurring heatwave in Arizona, it couldn't hurt to be prepared for an emergency.

Weather it be by zombies, a plague, nuclear war, self-aware AI, or extreme weather event, a Hollywood-style apocalypse isn’t entirely out of the question. Bill Gates thinks it will be caused by a new disease (hem hem, coronavirus) and NASA thinks it will be climate change, but I’m not really sold on any of these. It could be anything or it could just straight up not happen.

Still, with all these wildfires picking up in California, more and more high-Category hurricanes in Florida and the Bahamas, and the reoccurring heatwave in Arizona, it couldn’t hurt to be prepared for an emergency. I’m not saying you should learn how to use a bow and arrow (although it couldn’t hurt) or prepare yourself for drinking your own pee. I just think it would be smart to have a storage bin in your garage or laundry room or wherever that holds some essential survival gear.

If you’re going to do it right, this is what you’ll need.

Some Type Of Fire-Starter

Whether it be a piece of flint or storm-proof matches, you’re going to need a surefire way to start a fire. Of course, a lighter would work too, but since the whole purpose of a survival kit is to prepare for the worst case scenario, I think it’d be best to go with storm-proof matches. You might as well go big and buy a waterproof case for them.

Signal Mirror

We’ve all seen those heart-breaking moments in an apocalypse movie where a plane or boat or some form of potential rescue passes by a group of survivors, doesn’t see them, and then disappears. Spending $10 on a signal mirror, which would allow you to direct a ray of light into any vessel or person’s face, could mean the difference between being rescued or getting left behind.

Whistle

Toot toot. Your whistle can do the same thing as a signal mirror, alerting a possible savior. Or it could alert your family, friends, or rag-tag team of survivors (I am making an effort not to say “survivor” a million times.) Do with it as you will.

More elaborate survival kit.

Compass

The military base that’s taking people in is 300 miles north and you and your people have to get there safely (and likely by foot or a car that will eventually run out of gas.) What do you use to find your way? A compass!water purification tablets

Water Purification Tablets

Your water is dirty. You drop in a water purification tablet. Your water is clean. You drink the water. You live another day.

Long-Burning Candles

Whether you’re wanting to have one last romantic night with your love before the white walkers overtake your home or you just need to have some light because the power shut off, long-burning candles will do the trick. Some of them can last more than 115 hours. That’s nearly as long as James Franco was stuck in that rock. Neat!

Tactical Flashlight

Tactical flashlights are not your average flash lights. Super duper bright, they can temporarily blind your assailant. They also have sharp and sometimes serrated edges, so it can be used as a weapon as well.

Extra Batteries

Always a good idea. Keep ’em in the fridge, yo.

Binoculars

What is that on the hillside behind your safe house? Is it a threat (zombie/killed robot) or is it food (a deer/really large rabbit?) Binoculars will help you find out.

Survival Knife

Survival knives are not your everyday kitchen knives. They’re made specifically for making it out in the wilderness. They can be used for a ton of different things including skinning an animal (sorry PETA) cutting or carving wood, and basic scary-knife stuff. Make sure you have a nice leather sheath to protect it (and yourself) as well.

First Aid Kit

You should always have one of these in your home. But they are especially necessary in an apocalypse. They might not be able to treat a chemical burn, but they’ll do a damn-ok job of patching up a big cut.

Water and Canned Food

In case you get hungry or thirsty and are stranded for five years.

Hand-Crank Radio

If the world does come to an end (or at least life as we know it) a lot of us might not know what’s really going on. It could be obvious (if a nuclear bomb went off in San Diego ) or it could not be obvious (people going blind and killing themself, Bird Box-style.) Either way, a hand-crank radio will tune you into the Emergency Alert System to keep you posted. It will last as long as you can crank that radio.

Space Blanket

Once the power goes out, your heating goes with it. So whether you’re lucky enough to be freezing in the comfort of your own home or you’re out in the wilderness, this space blanket will keep you warm.

Even in an apocalypse, you need some me time.

Map Of The Area

Go on Amazon, buy a map of your city and the surround areas, and then when you run out of provisions at your safe house, use it to not get lost when you have to go find more.

Pro Tip: Don’t bring anyone on that expedition who doesn’t want to go. They will betray you.

Water Filtration Straw

Once you run out of water, you only have a week left max before game’s over. Before that, it’s a painful delirium and definitely not a good way to go out. Eventually, your water storages is going to run out and you’ll need to hit those local watering holes. However, disease and gross parasite-monsters may be lurking in those waters.

A water filtration straw, like the one from LifeStraw, will filter 99.9% of all that nastiness out, without the use of iodine, chlorine, or batteries. It’s your best long-term option in terms of water sustenance.

The LifeStraw in action.

Two Way Radios

These can also be for excursions to go get food or asses the situation, as long as you stay in range. It will bring you comfort to be able to communicate with your partners so you can stay updated and warn each other of any threats.

Paracord

Like a lot of the items on this list, 20 feet of paracord or fishing wire can be used for many different things: tying up hostages, building a tent, cutting through zip ties, as an incendiary device, making a bow and arrow or a bear trap, or to make an adorable necklace. Here are some more things you can do with it.

Survival Tarp

With this bad boy, you’ll be dry and moderately warm in most (don’t quote me on this) outdoor environments. A survival tarp can also be used to disarm an attacker by throwing it on them and screaming really loud and scary.

Use your paracord and your tarp to make a tent!

Solar Portable Charger and Some Form Of Entertainment

When people think of emergency supplies, they usually mean things that will keep you alive. Not a lot of people consider what they need to stay sane. Playing cards and a skateboard, for example, and cell phones. Yes, your phone probably won’t get cell reception, but there’s still plenty of things you’ll want to use it for. For those of us with a lot of storage (what what) we’ll have plenty of songs, movies, and podcasts to listen to, in order to distract us from bickering with our group that we’ve spent too much time with.

Portable chargers can also be used to power some of the other devices, like the walkie talkies. I’m sure there’s some more things they’ll be useful for but gosh darnit, I just can’t think of them right now.

Polaroid Camera

For all the memories. Some of the best friendships are made in time of disaster.

A bunch of best friends enjoying a nice campfire during the zombie apocalypse 🙂

So let me be clear. I am not predicting the apocalypse. This was just me being paranoid and wanting to have a backup plan if all that we hold most dear goes to crap. If that does happen, whenever and wherever, I say to you all, “Godspeed.”

I am a freelance writer and stand-up comedian living in San Diego. I speak five languages (English, French, Italian, German, and Arabic) and have lived in Europe and the Middle East for the most part of the past four years. I write about travel, art, science, and history, or anything that captures my heart.

Great post, and pretty comprehensive list. The only thing I would debate is keeping batteries in the fridge. Think about what happens to your car battery after several sub-zero days with no use. Now I have to try an experiment to see if I am right!

Thank you! And hmm that’s actually a pretty good point. I think I heard that it may be a myth as well, that it will elongate the life of the battery. I guess that’s something I should figure out sooner rather than later!!