Monday, January 26, 2009

Miracles II: Handicapped

After the July stroke things seemed to settle down into a routine of rehab. I hated the inpatient treatment so badly in the Utah Valley Regional Medical Center. I don't know what happened there , except the one incident when I peed the bed, and the nurse called me a fat pig, and accused me of doing it on purpose.

I’ve already written about this experience. Suffice it to say that my only thought at that moment was to get out of that hospital as quick as I could.

Several other misadventures as I returned home, refusing to acknowledge my handicapped status. I recall the shame I felt when I slipped getting out of the shower, and fell and broke the toilet into a thousand bits of china.

Just imagine the ludicrous picture of a fat beached whale of a fat helpless old man with a broken butt wriggling helplessly and sobbing out loud, soaking wet from the shower and surrounded with the ruins of the broken toilet strewn across the floor.

It took me a long time just to stand up, and I was so upset that I had to tell my mom and dad that I had broken the toilet into little pieces. and probably broke my butt too.

The broken commode was streaming water all over the floor. I got dressed, finally, and confessed to the folks tearfully, blubbering like a baby. My parents tried to make light of the incident, and dad cleaned up the mess. We went to Home Depot and bought a new toilet that dad installed.