A: Yes. But, I received no replies until after I posted the website online and the School Board started getting lots of emails about it. You can read some of the responses I received here.

Q: Are you an atheist / heathen / what?

A: I don’t have a problem with religion. What I have a problem with is religion posing as science. Teach Creationism in school, fine, but don’t teach it in a science classroom. And don’t change the definition of science so that you can teach these things. That’s retarded.
Supernatural explanations are by definition not science, so why would you teach them in a science classroom?

Religion, itself, isn’t bad. But it isn’t necessarily good, either. There are plenty of good Christians (and Muslims, and Buddhists, and Hindus), and plenty of bad ones.

Dogma is bad for everyone.

Q: You are making God angry.

A: I doubt it. If there’s a God, and he’s intelligent, then I would guess he has a sense of humor. And how do you know He is NOT a Flying Spaghetti Monster?

Q: Do you make money off this?

A: Yes. The Church makes money off T-shirts, car emblems, book sales, and occasionally donations. We are saving a lot of money and pretty soon here we’ll buy our first Pirate Ship which will serve as a floating church, open to all Believers.

Q: Your graph is messed up.

A: No, it’s not. The X-axis doesn’t have to represent time. And the data points don’t need to be in order. A graph is just a collection of data points, I can display them however I want. It might not be what you’re used to, but it’s not messed up. Please stop writing me emails about it (well over 200 at this point).

Q: There are more pirates now than ever. Look at the South Pacific. And song-downloading pirates, and blah blah blah.

A: Real pirates use swords (cutlasses, actually). Those “pirates” in the south pacific are guys with machine guns, cruising around in power-boats. They’re not pirates. And the song-downloading “pirates” are smelly nerds, and therefore not real pirates.

A: Maybe He just disguises Himself as those things. Also, you’re not funny.

Q: Can I reprint your letter?

A: Yes. Send me a link, please.

Q: Acceptible use of content?

A: It’s ok with me if you’re using the FSM images/content as long as it’s not for profit, and you’re doing it to further the Cause of the church. I.e. printing out FSM propaganda materials and distributing them is ok (and encouraged). Making FSM t-shirts, selling FSM merchandise, etc. is NOT OK.

Q: What blogging/cms software are you using?

A: The recently redesigned site is built on the WordPress platform with the K2 template.

Q: How many members are there?

A: I don’t know. There are no membership records as such, so I can only guess based on the amount of traffic the site receives, etc. Traffic to date (September 2006) is somewhere in the vicinity of 350 million hits, and around 15 million unique visitors. Google returns close to 2 million results for the phrase “flying spaghetti monster“. So, who knows – your guess is as good as mine.

Q: Why Pirates?

A: We believe that humans evolved from pirates. Consider that humans share around 95% DNA with monkeys, and more than 99.9% DNA with pirates.

Q: Interview requests

A: I’m happy to answer your questions. I recommend you just send me your questions in an email with a subject that I’ll notice, like “INTERVIEW QUESTIONS”. You don’t need to ask permission or set up an interview for some future time, just send me the questions. Thanks.

Q: Website statistics

A: Somewhere around 10k-40k visitors per day, and somewhere around 500k-1million hits a day. Hits are extremely high because lots of people hotlink images,etc from the site. Which is fine w/me.

Emails – depends, but 50 per day is not uncommon. I have 13,839 unread emails right now (9/25/06). I’ll get to as many as I can.

Q: Why is there an FSM banner on my MySpace profile?

A: It’s a virus/worm that WAS NOT CREATED BY ME. I had nothing to do with it. I’m sorry – it caused everyone a lot of problems, and I do not approve of this sort of thing. You can remove it by following the directions here.

More questions? Ask me below, or email me at bobby.henderson@gmail.com

953 Responses to “Frequently Asked Questions”

Its great that someone avtually came up with an Intelligent design theory that alows its followers to think about the religon they are following and not what the religon thinks they should be thinking.

Chris, you are obviously well educated on Christian beliefs, being that you wrote absolutely nothing true about Christian beliefs in your blog. You did, however, account for Judaic, pre-Christian beliefs. Good job…

Bobby, your site is amusing, and I can agree that ID does not belong in science classes. However, I also believe that Evolution does not belong in science classes for much the same reason. Let’s stick to chemistry, physics and biology based on the scientific theory.

As a devoted pyrate, a long time have we been vexed upon by the “official” navies of the world and thought of as moderatly lax in our morals. Although most of we pirates know that we’ve been “touched by gods,” recognizing the height-discouraging push of HIS appendage has been a graceful brush by a quite-saucy god.

We at The Pyrates Way try to do our part in passing on the word next issue (Winter) when we print interviews of Pastafarians and show pirates on this earth that they can come out of the seachest and expose their slops for all to see.

If you are interested in helping us bring the world temperature down while giving rise to the pirate population, please join us at http://www.pyratesway.com.

I think Talk Like A Pirate Day should be secondary holiday. So when is the offical day to celebrate the Flying Spagetti Monster? If there isn’t already a set date, I’d like to suggest the date of the original letter.
Thanks!
Keebler

I totally beleive in the flying spaghetti monster, but he totally messed up on the design of the human body. Why else would he put man’s balls in such an easy place to kick, rather than encasing them in bone for protection like our brains? Thus, proof of hte FSM!!!!

If a Pastafarian bible has no spelling or grammar mistakes whatsoever and doesn’t contradict itself, it’s a whole lot better than the bible.
I actually have a question to ask to the Almighty One, namely: Why is it mandatory in American Court to swear upon a fictional book, sometimes refered to as the bible, while the country in question has a law on the separation between church and state?
If you could respond to aid me in my search for understanding, I will be eternally greatful to the Flying Spaghetti Monster and spread his word.

“Why is it mandatory in American Court to swear upon a fictional book, sometimes refered to as the bible, while the country in question has a law on the separation between church and state?”
I totally agree with you on this one, elmon. But consider that the church and the state aren’t really separate in the United States (George W. Bush Jr., anyone? The Religious Right?)
For a totally satirised view of the Bush Administration, check out: http://www.whitehouse.org (by the almighty FSM it’s hilarious!). This is a bit off topic, I know, but I’m sure the Flying Spaghetti Monster will forgive me. (Note: SPAGHETTI, not SPEGETTI (where did you learn to spell, zach? And by the way, what a very witty retort:
“i almost forgot FUCK THIS SO CALLED SPEGETTI MONSTER. I hope that every single one of you can find faith in Jesus.”
Nice to see studing the Bible has given you such an intimate understanding of the English language and it’s intricacies (like capital letters and punctuation) And it’s FLYING Spaghetti Monster).

All praise our Noodly lord and master!!!

P.S. Am I allowed to revere Foamy the Squirrel as my secular lord, or will this bring our beloved FSM’s wrath down upon me? (If so, I can change!)