Kobe Bryant has wasted no time in creating a Lakers feud by sole virtue of his dickery. On Wednesday, Kobe took a totally weird and unnecessary dig at long-gone former Laker and awesomely-named not-Muppet Smush Parker:

It's not that Kobe's incorrect here; Smush Parker averaged a well below-average 12.0 PER in his two full seasons with Los Angeles. But why does Kobe, a guy who's making just under $28 million this year — the NBA's highest 2012-13 salary — feel the need to slam a dude who's playing in China right now? (Because Kobe is insane, that's why. He is a bloodthirsty vampire disguised as a basketball player. How do you think his knees regenerated so quickly?)

Parker also talked about how one time, at a team dinner, the whole team sat at one table and Kobe sat at another, which is hilarious. And Parker suggests that his time ended with the Lakers because he deliberately stopped giving Kobe the ball. That would end your time with the Lakers, wouldn't it.

If this had stopped somewhere in the massive dead zone that exists between Smush Parker and Kobe Bryant's careers, that would be one thing. But with this tweet from Metta World Peace, it spread into the current Lakers' roster, like some weird grudge-virus.