Putting the FUN in funicular.

Oh, Bag Balm!

Back before we re-did our kitchen, I was washing dishes every day BY HAND. That’s right; The Daily Dish washing The Daily Dishes. Cute, huh? Not really. All that dish washing was wreaking havoc on my hands. With each passing dish, they grew a bit drier, a little more chapped, until finally my knuckles began to crack and bleed. I tried different dish soaps, grotty gloves, scrubbers on sticks. I slathered on hand cream, I drank water by the gallon. I even tried letting the dishes pile up, hoping my husband would wash them. But I was STUCK. After months of scrubbing, my hands hurt like hell and they looked even worse. One particularly bad night, as I lay in bed thinking about my poor hamburger hands, came two words.

Bag Balm – OF COURSE!! Anyone who’s ever milked a cow knows about Bag Balm. What?! You’ve never milked a cow? Okay, me neither. But I had heard of Bag Balm. I’d read about its wonder properties some time ago. Originally created to soothe cow udders, Bag Balm is a treat for teats and more. Its patented blend has been known to cure all sorts of ailments, not just in cows, but in goats and horses and even HUMANS. I’d bought a can of it before we left Philly, I thought surely I’d need it sometime. As soon as those 2 beautiful words popped into my head, I leaped from bed & found that tin. Oh, Bag Balm! I coated my hands in goopy goodness & fumbled to turn out the light.

In the morning I gazed open-mouthed at the wonder before me. My hands weren’t just better, they were BACK! When I’d gone to bed they’d been red cracked & bloody. Now – like magic – they were soft and white, pain-free, the cracks GONE. I had never seen such a transformation in all my life. But it hasn’t stopped there. My hands, despite all of the renovation work we’ve been doing, all the hand washing, and until last week – daily dishes – have remained baby soft. Truly, the loveliest they’ve been in years. Oh, Bag Balm!

But there’s more.

About a month ago, we adopted two guinea pigs off Craigslist. OH YES WE DID. We already had two, we figured what the heck. But when we went to pick them up, these new guys looked weird. Their fur was dull, not glossy, and one had bald spots. We would have turned & walked out the door, but those poor ugly guinea pigs just screamed HELP US. So against better judgment we took them in, brought them home and (yes) introduced them to our two healthy males. Almost immediately, the second pig began losing fur. Ignorant of the fact that the “harmless balding” we’d been informed of was in reality sarcoptic mites, we allowed all four pigs to remain together in the same pen. By the time we realized this was serious, it was too late. All four pigs had mites. I was HORRIFIED. To think these poor creatures had been dealing with this disgusting, incredibly itchy and potentially lethal situation w/out us knowing. My blood boiled. After some online research, I discovered people have treated this very same issue w/ success using (you guessed it) BAG BALM. Which I just so happened to have!! And so I did what any good guinea pig owner would do. I sat down with my piggies and smeared them head to toe with greasy salve.

We let that grease work its magic for a few days, and then followed up with two small doses of the topical mite treatment Revolution (Selamectin), which we also just so happened to have. It’s been two weeks now, and I am thrilled to say all four piggies now appear mite-free. They are no longer balding, some hair has begun to grow back and the scabbing & dandruff are virtually gone. YOOOHOOOO!! Oh, Bag Balm!!

Hah! But seriously, the whole “greasing experience” was equally unpleasant for all involved. Bag Balm is wondrous stuff but truly the thickest glop on the face of the planet. I have stains all over the pants I was wearing that day, which will likely never come out. Fortunately as most of my wardrobe has paint or holes anyway, who’ll notice a few enormous grease stains? The poor greased piggies were miserable/ but they’re super happy now! Long live Bag Balm!!

Can I use it without revolution? 🙂 I just found out that my guinea pig i recently purchased from petsmart has mites and scabs and hair falling out, POOR BABY! I didnt wanna deal with it because I just got him and cant afford the vet right now. Since i didnt wanna deal with it i wanted to give him back, i thought, oh they wont notice since they didnt even know he had mites! But i noticed today was the last day to give him back , i had a 14 day guarantee. And i got really pissed of because in the paper they said they had a freaking DISEASE HAZARD . I was wondering if i could use the bag balm without revolution?

Oh Curly, you KNOW you want to try it. And of course we had it on hand. Every aspiring farmer should! Surely my goats will need to be balmed!! PS: I was more surprised that we had a tube of revolution.. (not really.)

The guinea pigs are young but biggish already. I think they are seriously adorable. The two new guys have sort of a “possum” look to them. WHich might normally freak me out but now I find endearing. Their names are Oreo, Snowflake, Caramel Cream and Butterscotch II.

We had a guinea pig once and he was so spastic we named him Kramer after Cosmo Kramer on Seinfeld. If his food bowl was empty he would tear off a strip of newspaper and put it in his dish. It was often a food word. Sorta like Charlotte’s Web!

Too funny! Our guinea pigs certainly like to eat. With 4 of them, we go through bags of timothy hay and pellets – at least a bag each, each week. And BOY do they let us know when they want more. Squealing & wheeeeeting like crazy! They bang their water bottles, shake the food dispenser. None too subtle these guys..

Growing up on the farm, Bag Balm was a staple at every household I knew, but I’d totally forgotten about it, and now I’m going to have to buy some for my poor boyfriend whose pinky finger has cracked for some reason but who refuses to put on lotion more than twice a day. Genius!

HEYYA UM!! That is so funny – did you see the new Alice in Wonderland? Alice is called UM too!
As for the BB, try Walgreen’s – I found it there in Philly. Make sure he uses it at night.. I put some on during the day recently, and when I went to the paint store to look at sample cards it left little greasy fingerprints ALL OVER. Whooopsie.

HI! I am hoping someone replys to this soon~via email will be nice as I will probably not be able to find this site again. I have to piggies that I love dearly…When I brought my second piggie home and introduced her to my first guinea pig (pepper ann) we were super happy….until about a month went by and we realized a change in their behavior..well come to find out they had guinea pig lice…so I immediately took them to the vet. She gave them each a dose of oral ivermectin and said to come back in ten days for the second dose in which i did…it seemed to clear up the lice I have yet to see anymore. However now they are itchy and losing fur…..so I am pretty sure they have mites. I cant afford to take them to the vet so i started doing some digging online and found to use bag balm…so I coated my piggies head to toe..they seemed to not mind and maybe it alleviated some of the itching. My concern is that they are eating it off of each other…is this ok? Also will this help them and how long do i leave it on them? If i have to wash it how…how and I going to do that?? Please help I want my piggies better…I cant even pet them anymore because it seems to hurt them!
Thanks Katie

My guinea pig latte started flaking and scratching around her ear at first I thought it was nothing then it started to bleed!! I was terrified but I found bag balm and smeared it all over her just in case the mites had spread I was just wondering how long it took for your piggies hair to grow back