single mother

Yesterday morning I tried to sit cross legged and somehow snapped my fibula. Spiral fracture in at least 3 places. Never have broken a bone before, but it has now happened.

I went to the ER and they gave me a hard splint, ordered no weight be put on it and told me to see an orthopedic surgeon on Monday to determine if a cast or surgery is needed. I have a 1, 2, and 4 year old whom I am solely responsible for.

This is really hard…my house is in shambles, trash, toys, clothes, dirty dishes, everything.

The kids are making messes when they eat, play, everything and I can hardly keep up in a half ass way. I am on crutches, but I still suck…I have fallen several times and my muscles and body are really weak.

Last night a lady at church took the boys and I cuddled on the couch will my 1 year old baby girl. Last night was ok, but within minutes of them getting back they fell on my leg twice and tried biting each other. I feel helpless in doing what I need to do, I can hardly stand up without extreme effort. Changing diapers is very hard because if I sit on the floor I can’t get up and standing or crunching for more than 3 minutes is very hard.

I feel like a baby, a wuss, and I am unsure how this will all play out.

While I do have a few helping hands, someone took the boys last night, people have brought food…I still am reminded that I am alone. Sure there is a little help, or a lot of help…but still this life is just mine and so are these kids. No dad…ever. No dad who loves their mom, no dad who loves them.

No teamwork…

No partnership…

Bonnie and no Clyde

Juliet and no Romeo

Poor me, poor me…waaa waaa booo hoooo

I will get over it. I will work something out. I will accept help I need when it is offered, or ask for the help I need.