Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Ahoy, ye scurvy dogs! About a week ago I went on vacation to visit my sister in Florida before she goes overseas. We spent every day doing at least one super fun thing. The only thing that put a damper on my trip was the fact that I'm in the midst of a colitis flareup. I will attempt to tell you via photo/captions about the highs and lows of the trip.

Soaking in the beautiful scene at Ft. Walton Beach.

Underwater adventure, wherein I ponder the question, "Am I going to take a shit in the ocean?"

Getting rough with a greedy llama as he tries to take all the food I bought to feed the zoo animals, wherein I ponder, "Am I going to take a shit while yelling at this llama?"

Plowing through the open water on a wave runner, wherein I ponder, "Am I going to take a shit in the open ocean and attract one or more sharks, which will lead to my very untidy demise?"

Photo op on the pier, wherein I ponder "Am I going to take a shit on the pier?"

Up close and personal with a sea lion at Gulf World Marine Park, wherein I ponder "Am I going to take a shit while standing beside a sea lion?"

And finally, holding hands with a 500 pound, 30 year old dolphin named Sandy, wherein I ponder "Am I going to take a shit while holding hands with a dolphin?"
I am happy to report that, while many shits were taken, I did not shit in any undesignated shitting areas. Despite my fear of extreme humiliation, I made the decision that I had to fully experience my vacation and take the risk of shame. It turned out alright this time. Maybe next time it won't, but I can't stop having fun, even if the fun is to be had between bouts of pain and frenzy. I was also able to grab Sandy's fin while she took me on a short ride around the tank. Every picture I took in the dolphin tank captures the childlike joy that I experienced during the time I was there, which was worth every second of uncertainty.

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About Me

It slices! It dices! And it makes French fries three different ways! I'm a human and I do human things. I live in Phoenix, AZ with my grumpy old man Richard and our cat, Jari and our dogs, Dakota (a Shiba Inu), Menka, an adorable, neurotic, small mutt, and Rosie the best aggressively attention seeking lovebug around.
I started this blog because I enjoy writing. It shall be a tale of my wobbliness and chasing-parked-cars attempts at staying afloat and maybe surprising myself from time to time.
I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2006 and I'm living with it. That being said, you will become very comfortable talking about poop and other such indecencies. Consider it a growing experience.
I also have a LOT of family; I'm the oldest of five kids. One side of my family are brazen hill billies and the other side are city slickers. This has melded me into quite the little oddball, but I sure get by alright.