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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Poon Jobs -- Lower East Side Manhattan, New York

I can't really think of any good anecdotes to get this fucker started, so I'll just give the run-down of what we stocked up on for van food. My mommy was nice enough to take me to the ol' Sam's Club before tour because she fucking rules. She also kind of looks like an Ewok, and Ewoks are pretty known for their hospitality and cuteness amongst other Yub-Yubberies. One day I will look like an Ewok.

So the theme of my Club trip this time around was health. If there's one thing the Invisible Hand excels at while on tour, it's eating like retards, and eating like retards about once an hour as long as we're awake. So I figured I'd get a bunch of healthy snack shit:

-One large jar of Men's Health Formula One-a-Day Multi Vitamins

-One large jar of Skippy All Natural Peanut Butter

-A big ass box of single serving Pringles(the single-serving is pretty croosh, because you can fly through those bastards faster than you think)

-A bag of seedless oranges

-A box of of Fruit by the Foot and Gushers(remember Gushers!? Yes, they're still awesome, and they totally still make your head turn into an enormous exlploding fruit when you bite 'em)

-One case of Low Sodium(we don't need to be gainin no water weight) V8 Vegetable juice

Mr. Smith also picked up some granola bars, pistachios, peanut butter crackers, a case of water, and pub mix(cuz you never know when you're gonna need to pair something with your road beers). The Invisible Hand: pooping more solidly one snack at a time. On to New York.

Pun Jab’s in the Lower East Side of Manhatten is easily one of the most imperative food spots for poor ass touring musicians. It’s cheap as all fuck, very wholesome and actually quite delicious regardless of the fact all the food is microwaved. It’s a shitty little hole in the wall and more often than not, some completely socially inept miserable cunt of a dude or two is working behind the counters. But that just adds to the “we kind of wish you weren’t here, and we kind of wish we weren’t here, either” ahmbeeyonce’! So here’s how it works: underneath an arsenal of microwaves is a large deli case filled with vegetarian curries, pakoras, and somosas. For a measley $3, you get a bowl of rice, and your choice of two curries. You tell the dude what you want by the number in front of the curry. Today I chose two and six, which was some spinach looking shit, and some green pea shit, and it was tighter than a toddler! Squirt a little bit of spicy tamarind sauce up on that bitch and call it a day! And definitely spend an extra buck for a samosa, cuz why the fuck not!? $4 for a gigantic tasty meal? Shut the fuck up, Pun Jab’s.

Poon Job’s is located a couple blocks away from the Cake Shop if the Cake Shop is on your left, and then you like, walk a few blocks. I think it’s on Houston? Oh wait! It’s across the street from Katz’ Deli.