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Worst Circus EVER!

So, on Tuesday I got dragged against my will to the Circus. I am generally not a fan of sitting on wooden bleachers watching abused animals perform ridiculous tricks for the audience's entertainment.

Anyhow...We get there and buy our tickets, $24 for a reserved seat by the way, and Chloe wants to do the "rides" before the show. Being a nice mommy, I buy a bunch of tickets and we proceeded to the pony ride, the elephant ride, the camel ride-you get the idea. My beautiful daughter is having the time of her little 4 year old life! I'm starting to think that perhaps this may not be so bad after all...then we went into the "Big Top" for the 4:30pm show.

﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿ The first act out of gate was a guy spinning around the ceiling of the tent on two silk runners. He was not that super impressive (Let's face it-if you saw Pink do it last year at the Grammys you never need to see anyone else do it ever again), but Chloe looked fascinated. Then the rigging suddenly came out of the ceiling and the poor guy comes crashing to the center (and only) ring floor! No net, no safety-just this poor schmuck now laying there with a broken shoulder and hip.

Thanks Carson and Barnes Circus, my daughter is now SCARRED FOR LIFE!!!

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right as the rigging gave way, I happened to snap this pic!

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So now we are sitting there and being told to remain seated while an EMT and Nurse-both off duty audience members see to this poor guy. It took over 30 minutes for the real ambulance to show up! Why didn't they have EMTs on standby outside the tent? No one knows.

Once they EMTs clear off the smudge in the center of the ring, the show starts back up. It was one amateurish act after another. Dancing dogs, clowns, a high wire act that left a LOT to be desired (and those guys slipped and nearly fell too-TWICE!!!), and a "trick bicycle" act that Chloe and her friends could outdo at the age of 4.

Then on came the contortionist. He was actually pretty good. I must admit that about 30 seconds into this dude's act I was really enjoying it, and then.....the poor bastard's leotard split where the Sun should not shine and we could see all the way to France!!!! I should interject that by this point I'd put my camera away and Chloe is on my lap and I cannot get to it to prove this to you, but I can swear to you that every audience member there was treated to a very thrilling show! By the way, contortionists it seems don't wear panties, and this guy-I would swear to you was definitely NOT Jewish!!!! I'll leave it up to you to imagine that one....

As for me, there is not enough MIND BLEACH in the universe to get that image out of my head.