Wednesday, February 23, 2011

From "Quade excited, but will romance last?" by Jon Paul Morosi at FOXSports.com

To manage the Chicago Cubs is to hold one of the most coveted jobs in baseball. But the romance only lasts for so long. Dusty Baker will tell you that.

In 2003, he came within five outs of the World Series. In 2004, he narrowly missed the playoffs despite finishing with a better record than the season before.

In 2006, he was fired.

And losing his job wasn’t the worst insult. Not even close.

“At the very end, somebody took a dump right where I stood in the dugout every day,” Baker said Monday morning. “That was the low point. The grounds crew guy cleaned it up. He said, ‘Oh, I think it’s dog crap.’ I said, ‘No it ain’t. That’s human crap.’ ”

Wow, (non-SOSG) Dusty, that's harsh. Although I don't know what makes Baker an expert on distinguishing between human and canine fecal matter — a medical degree? Plumbing license? — one can never underestimate the potency of the dugout crap.

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I'm not sure which is the more disturbing story today, Dusty and his mysterious dugout crapper or the report that Collin Farrell was "taken aback" by some raunchy text messages from Rhianna.

Of course the latter story goes a long way to explaining why Matt Kemp had a lousy season last year: he was distracted trying to get the mental image out of his head from the pregame sexting. There is a lesson for the kids in there somewhere.