Sometimes it isn't just "recommendation"

So I thought I would give a "friendly" warning because this is something I didn't think would be taken SO seriously!!

I have a friend who started to feed cereal to her son at two months. She did it because of reflux, and it did help...No issues on my part with that, as I was told to do the same by me pedi (I didn't though.) Anyway, he started to take it fairly well in a bottle, so she moved onto giving it outside of just the bottle very shortly after... maybe 2.5 months... He started to like that, so she thought she would start with actual food, and went on to sweet potato at around 3 months. Originally she said she was just going to do it once a day, and not reduce his formula intake.... He is now just a hair shy of four months, and was at my house this last week... She didn't bring him formula, only came with sweet potato and WATER for her little guy. At this point she was all excited to tell me how well he was doing on solids, and that he was now having less formula. She said that she was going to actually switch him mostly to solid food "because he loves it"...I know she is just excited that little man is starting to grow up, and that feeding solids is easier because he doesn't reflux nearly as much, but this isn't a reason to reduce formula intake. EVEN if she thinks this whole feeding thig is "just a government recommendation" .... SO... I knew she had 4 months shots coming up on Monday, so I called the location and spoke to a nurse... I let her know that my friend had admitted that she was moving more to solid food then formula. I also let her know that she came to my house not prepared with formula..... Anyway I figured they would just make a note on her file to chat a bit more " in depth" on the need for formula... when actually what happened, was they strongly encouraged me to call child protective services... They basically said if they can get to to admit that she is moving more to solids, that THEY will call themselves. They also said that if he was on the smaller side from his last visit that they would also call....

The moral of the story is that the government takes these "recommendations" really seriously, much more than I thought they would... I have not called on my friend, but if she doesn't reconsider on monday, at that point I will. Please, please, please, do not get carried away and overly excited about solid foods. Just because they like to eat them, or don't look like they have tummy issues from it, doesn't mean it can replace formula or breast milk. Food really is "just for play" until one year of age. I am not judging anyone who feeds early, just please do it in a manner that still complies with the general guidlines!

So I thought I would give a "friendly" warning because this is something I didn't think would be taken SO seriously!!

I have a friend who started to feed cereal to her son at two months. She did it because of reflux, and it did help...No issues on my part with that, as I was told to do the same by me pedi (I didn't though.) Anyway, he started to take it fairly well in a bottle, so she moved onto giving it outside of just the bottle very shortly after... maybe 2.5 months... He started to like that, so she thought she would start with actual food, and went on to sweet potato at around 3 months. Originally she said she was just going to do it once a day, and not reduce his formula intake.... He is now just a hair shy of four months, and was at my house this last week... She didn't bring him formula, only came with sweet potato and WATER for her little guy. At this point she was all excited to tell me how well he was doing on solids, and that he was now having less formula. She said that she was going to actually switch him mostly to solid food "because he loves it"...I know she is just excited that little man is starting to grow up, and that feeding solids is easier because he doesn't reflux nearly as much, but this isn't a reason to reduce formula intake. EVEN if she thinks this whole feeding thig is "just a government recommendation" .... SO... I knew she had 4 months shots coming up on Monday, so I called the location and spoke to a nurse... I let her know that my friend had admitted that she was moving more to solid food then formula. I also let her know that she came to my house not prepared with formula..... Anyway I figured they would just make a note on her file to chat a bit more " in depth" on the need for formula... when actually what happened, was they strongly encouraged me to call child protective services... They basically said if they can get to to admit that she is moving more to solids, that THEY will call themselves. They also said that if he was on the smaller side from his last visit that they would also call....

The moral of the story is that the government takes these "recommendations" really seriously, much more than I thought they would... I have not called on my friend, but if she doesn't reconsider on monday, at that point I will. Please, please, please, do not get carried away and overly excited about solid foods. Just because they like to eat them, or don't look like they have tummy issues from it, doesn't mean it can replace formula or breast milk. Food really is "just for play" until one year of age. I am not judging anyone who feeds early, just please do it in a manner that still complies with the general guidlines!

I guess I'm just confused why if this is your friend why you wouldn't just tell her your concerns instead of going behind her back to the doctor and way worse to CPS. If she is just excited about him growing up and she doesn't realize how serious it is she may just need some education and help from her friend. It sounds like she loves her baby and that she wants the best for her lo. Calling CPS and risking her having to deal with legal issues or even having him taken would be horrible, a baby is best off with their loving parent. Be her friend.

I guess I'm just confused why if this is your friend why you wouldn't just tell her your concerns instead of going behind her back to the doctor and way worse to CPS. If she is just excited about him growing up and she doesn't realize how serious it is she may just need some education and help from her friend. It sounds like she loves her baby and that she wants the best for her lo. Calling CPS and risking her having to deal with legal issues or even having him taken would be horrible, a baby is best off with their loving parent. Be her friend.

Oh wow. Were you just wanting the nurses to bring it up and educate/warn her about the importance of F or BM? I hope someone tells her before CPS is called on her, it doesn't seem like she is intentionally malnourishment her baby...

Oh wow. Were you just wanting the nurses to bring it up and educate/warn her about the importance of F or BM? I hope someone tells her before CPS is called on her, it doesn't seem like she is intentionally malnourishment her baby...

Yeah I wasn't clear about that in the first post. I did bring it up to her, and I did say she needed to make sure it didn't reduce the amount of formula he had. She said it was just "recommendation" so I called the nurses so they could just reinforce what I had already said. It was THEM who said to call, and I haven't done that because I feel she is just misinformed. If after the nurses reinforce the information she still doesn't listen, THEN I will call. I am in no way just calling on a friend lol. I am exhausting all options other than that first.

Yeah I wasn't clear about that in the first post. I did bring it up to her, and I did say she needed to make sure it didn't reduce the amount of formula he had. She said it was just "recommendation" so I called the nurses so they could just reinforce what I had already said. It was THEM who said to call, and I haven't done that because I feel she is just misinformed. If after the nurses reinforce the information she still doesn't listen, THEN I will call. I am in no way just calling on a friend lol. I am exhausting all options other than that first.

I totally understand lilysix. Hopefully she takes it better from the nurses. She could be just be defensive because it's coming from you. Let's hope she smartened up! Plus isn't baby food kind of 'diet food' how many calories do mashed up carrots really have?! Lol

I totally understand lilysix. Hopefully she takes it better from the nurses. She could be just be defensive because it's coming from you. Let's hope she smartened up! Plus isn't baby food kind of 'diet food' how many calories do mashed up carrots really have?! Lol

I know a girl with twins who started solids at 4 mths and went to only giving her babies 2 bottles a day one for morning one for bedtime. This girl also just got rid of their cribs and put them in toddler beds at 9 mths old. Some people are just dense and think because they birthed a child they know everything.

I know a girl with twins who started solids at 4 mths and went to only giving her babies 2 bottles a day one for morning one for bedtime. This girl also just got rid of their cribs and put them in toddler beds at 9 mths old. Some people are just dense and think because they birthed a child they know everything.

That's a tough one, I think your intentions were good and from what you said, I get the feeling that she is not intentionally trying to harm her child in any way. It seems as though she is misinformed and trying so hard to fix lo's reflux issue. I see both sides but I don't think it was your place to go behind her back and call her lactation consultant. I'm surprised that they even talked to you about it. Your approach could have been better, maybe you could have offered to go to the appt with your friend and had a discussion there.

That's a tough one, I think your intentions were good and from what you said, I get the feeling that she is not intentionally trying to harm her child in any way. It seems as though she is misinformed and trying so hard to fix lo's reflux issue. I see both sides but I don't think it was your place to go behind her back and call her lactation consultant. I'm surprised that they even talked to you about it. Your approach could have been better, maybe you could have offered to go to the appt with your friend and had a discussion there.

Well lets just say that if CPS they might not like her husband much :(... He screams and loses it on him if he pukes on his shirt, that's kinda not cool either. ... Me being a friend was telling her before calling the nurse. If she won't listen to me, then maybe she will listen them... This is not up for debate either. I am just simply saying that sometimes the medical community doesn't see it as "just a recommendation".. I am simply acting in the best interest of the child, and in a couple years I will be a nurse and HAVE to call CPS when I see something like that. I chose a softer approach because she IS a friend. Nutritionally she needs to keep feeding LO formula because like a PP said, how many calories are in carrots anyway. Like the approach or not, they take it much more seriously then I ever figured they would.

Well lets just say that if CPS they might not like her husband much :(... He screams and loses it on him if he pukes on his shirt, that's kinda not cool either. ... Me being a friend was telling her before calling the nurse. If she won't listen to me, then maybe she will listen them... This is not up for debate either. I am just simply saying that sometimes the medical community doesn't see it as "just a recommendation".. I am simply acting in the best interest of the child, and in a couple years I will be a nurse and HAVE to call CPS when I see something like that. I chose a softer approach because she IS a friend. Nutritionally she needs to keep feeding LO formula because like a PP said, how many calories are in carrots anyway. Like the approach or not, they take it much more seriously then I ever figured they would.

Debbied your right! Unfortunately at this age switching to solids will cause done malnutrition simply because their little bodies can't digest at full capacity yet. It's really not a matter of my friendship with her, but the health of the child... I mean, I really hope on all hopes she listens to the nurses because I'm sure intentions are good, though mine are as well :)

Debbied your right! Unfortunately at this age switching to solids will cause done malnutrition simply because their little bodies can't digest at full capacity yet. It's really not a matter of my friendship with her, but the health of the child... I mean, I really hope on all hopes she listens to the nurses because I'm sure intentions are good, though mine are as well :)

i could be wrong, but it seems as though there is a HIPPA violation in there, especially when they told you how they would deal with it at the next appointment. in all fairness, if you do call CPS, you should also report them to be federal government.

i could be wrong, but it seems as though there is a HIPPA violation in there, especially when they told you how they would deal with it at the next appointment. in all fairness, if you do call CPS, you should also report them to be federal government.

Oh really? I wasn't aware. I was very surprised at how willing to talk they were. I was thinking they might not even make a note in the file. Basically I was just hoping they would mention how important the bottles were along with the food. I know it hasn't even been that long since they raised the age to 6 months anyway, so it's not like he can't have any solids.

Oh really? I wasn't aware. I was very surprised at how willing to talk they were. I was thinking they might not even make a note in the file. Basically I was just hoping they would mention how important the bottles were along with the food. I know it hasn't even been that long since they raised the age to 6 months anyway, so it's not like he can't have any solids.

Jenn, you're totally right. Before becoming a sahm I worked in the dental field & dealt w HIPPA (which 'governs' medical, dental, etc) and the dr's office totally violated several HIPPA laws & could get in alot of trouble. I agree that your friend should probably slow down on the solids & focus on formula/bf but reporting her to cps seems a bit extreme. Is there a chance that you can talk to your friend & tell her the convo you had w the drs office & let her know they suggested involving cps? That might help her understand the importance of the situation..

Jenn, you're totally right. Before becoming a sahm I worked in the dental field & dealt w HIPPA (which 'governs' medical, dental, etc) and the dr's office totally violated several HIPPA laws & could get in alot of trouble. I agree that your friend should probably slow down on the solids & focus on formula/bf but reporting her to cps seems a bit extreme. Is there a chance that you can talk to your friend & tell her the convo you had w the drs office & let her know they suggested involving cps? That might help her understand the importance of the situation..

I agree that I'm shocked that her drs office would talk about a patient however no matter how misinformed she is I think ur doing the thing u talked to her first she isn't listening! As for the poster who wouldn't want to b ur friend and its not like there hitting the baby I'm appalled that that's ur response! I commend u for doing what's in the babies best interest, for no reason should a 4 month old baby b on mostly solids has no one heard of malnutrition? And yes ur babies can die if not getting the proper nutrition!

I agree that I'm shocked that her drs office would talk about a patient however no matter how misinformed she is I think ur doing the thing u talked to her first she isn't listening! As for the poster who wouldn't want to b ur friend and its not like there hitting the baby I'm appalled that that's ur response! I commend u for doing what's in the babies best interest, for no reason should a 4 month old baby b on mostly solids has no one heard of malnutrition? And yes ur babies can die if not getting the proper nutrition!

My baby is not four months yet but is on solids three times a day and has a bottle afterwards and one before bed, growth is perfect, no health problems at all!! This was how I was bought up from a couple weeks old. Agree your friend should still be giving LO formula but don't agree about calling nurse or CPS how would you feel If she had her LO taken off of her ,?

My baby is not four months yet but is on solids three times a day and has a bottle afterwards and one before bed, growth is perfect, no health problems at all!! This was how I was bought up from a couple weeks old. Agree your friend should still be giving LO formula but don't agree about calling nurse or CPS how would you feel If she had her LO taken off of her ,?

Lipstylaw I think ur missing the point, ur properly feeding ur baby adding solids but still giving bottles, this mama is replacing bottles w baby food and unfortunatly sometimes babies need to b taken away from there mommies if the mama isn't doing what's in the best interest of the baby! Not saying that this case is that extreme but in the event that she refuses to listen to the advice of caring drs nurses and friends then yes the baby needs an advocate to save its life! Babies at this age need much more than 2 bottles a day and a couple jars of baby food! I believe the nurse would not suggest CPS if she didn't think it warrants that kind of attention. I hope and pray this is just a case of not being properly educated and that she will do what's right for all involved! The thought of a starving baby breaks my heart

Lipstylaw I think ur missing the point, ur properly feeding ur baby adding solids but still giving bottles, this mama is replacing bottles w baby food and unfortunatly sometimes babies need to b taken away from there mommies if the mama isn't doing what's in the best interest of the baby! Not saying that this case is that extreme but in the event that she refuses to listen to the advice of caring drs nurses and friends then yes the baby needs an advocate to save its life! Babies at this age need much more than 2 bottles a day and a couple jars of baby food! I believe the nurse would not suggest CPS if she didn't think it warrants that kind of attention. I hope and pray this is just a case of not being properly educated and that she will do what's right for all involved! The thought of a starving baby breaks my heart

Yeah my thing was this... My best friends baby passed away at 5 months of a rare metabolic disorder that was never caught. I was worried before he passed away, but I kept my mouth shut. ... I cried on my husbands shoulder a couple nights before because I was so worried. I vowed to tell her the next time I saw her, but it was too late. ( get shivers even typing that!) .... I promised myself I would always advocate for the child after that. .... It can be a hard place to be in sometimes, but babies don't have voices. And while I couldn't have saved my friends baby, and neither could she. It came with a HUGE amount of guilt! Guilt that I will never be able to undo! Also, I later told my friend, and her response was like "fu)k Andrea, next time you EVER see something like that please put my feelings aside and TELL ME!!!".. This is the basis if my decision to go above her head.

Yeah my thing was this... My best friends baby passed away at 5 months of a rare metabolic disorder that was never caught. I was worried before he passed away, but I kept my mouth shut. ... I cried on my husbands shoulder a couple nights before because I was so worried. I vowed to tell her the next time I saw her, but it was too late. ( get shivers even typing that!) .... I promised myself I would always advocate for the child after that. .... It can be a hard place to be in sometimes, but babies don't have voices. And while I couldn't have saved my friends baby, and neither could she. It came with a HUGE amount of guilt! Guilt that I will never be able to undo! Also, I later told my friend, and her response was like "fu)k Andrea, next time you EVER see something like that please put my feelings aside and TELL ME!!!".. This is the basis if my decision to go above her head.

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