The sorta-I-guess-whatever-controversially-named Syracuse punk rockers Perfect Pussy have taken over the internet in such a short time that they are now the top web search results for like the first 10 or so pages. Not so Google images, my friends! (Shout out to the porn advertisement that comes up when you Google this shit that declares “This porn is insane! 100% free.” This porn is INSANE, guys.) And to think that this entire internet takeover happened with one simple self-released cassette-only EP, I Have Lost All Desire for Feeling. This cassette is INSANE, guys.

That crazy ol’ cassette caught the attention of Captured Tracks, who will release the band’s debut full-length, Say Yes to Love, on March 18. Until then, frontwoman Meredith Graves and co. will be touring the US and Canada throughout January and March, with stops at record stores! (Rough Trade New York) colleges! (Grinnell) and fascinating tiny art towns! (Marfa). Tour dates are lovingly presented below in a handy, easy-to-read format, so that your computer doesn’t get flagged by your company’s creepy tech guy.

Well whaddaya know, PAN’s got a brand-spanking-new release out today from Helm called The Hollow Organ and I’m here to announce it. It’s almost like they’re a record label or something and I’m a guy whose job it is to jumble the words in their press releases around just enough to make it sound like it’s my own original writing. So, for example, this:

PAN presents four vital concrète incursions by nether field traveller Luke Younger a.k.a., Helm, marking his first transmissions since the studio rituals that birthed his highly acclaimed Impossible Symmetry and Silencer releases.

Becomes this:

PAN proffers four decisive asphalt penetrations by genital yard wanderer Helm, who also sometimes goes by the human name Luke Younger. These penetrations hearken his first communiqué since the praise and worship services that ejected headfirst into a cruel world his exceptionally renowned Impossible Symmetry and Silencer (TMT Review).

Get the picture? Well, The Hollow Organ is out now, and in addition to toeing a “deliberate line in the mud between [Helm’s] previous transgressions and a chokingly dank realization of his most untoward, paralytic sound” it also discretely hangs out around the border that separates his earlier infringements and a cough-inducingly clammy consummation of his most improprietous, incapacitated sonics. Check out “Analogues” from the release below, and, if you’re going to find yourself either in the United Kingdom or Greece next month, you can see Helm live at one of the several dates I’ve so considerately copy/pasted below. You’re welcome, by the way.

It’s been a decade since Efterklang’s debut Tripper (TMT Review) and like a butterfly or an animorph, the Danish group has decided it’s time to “fundamentally change what it means to be Efterklang and how we operate, create and perform.” They’re planning to play “one final show to celebrate them all,” which, Lord of the Rings reference notwithstanding, actually sounds a lot more like “breaking up” than “changing shapes à la a popular young adult science fiction series” to me, but then again I guess they did tweet that this “is not the end,” (TMT Review). According to the NME, a spokesperson from 4AD (the band’s current label) said that the band will likely take a “lengthy break,” possibly followed by a return “under a different name in the future.”

The mighty morphin’ final show is planned for February 26 at Alsion Concert Hall in Sønderborg, Denmark. They’ll be joined by Thomas Husmer and Rune Mølgaard from the band’s original five-member lineup, as well as the local symphony Sønderjyllands Symfoniorkester (conducted by Hans Ek) and girls choir. They’ll be playing songs from throughout their career, including many from the band’s early days that have never before been heard live. If you’d like a little more information about the performance, and you’d like for that information to be in Danish, you can click the link I’ll embed in the next sentence. Click here if you haven’t changed your mind about wanting more information. Tickets are available here.

If the majority of employers around the world hadn’t blindly submitted to the daytime fascism imposed by the sun, we as humans might more readily appreciate the tranquility that’s almost synonymous with the night. Actually, scratch that. More humans awake during the post-midnight hours would definitely have a ruinous effect on that tranquility, as retailers would quickly conform their operations to this newly-appreciated time of day. Silent neighborhood strolls would lose their appeal when insensitive passersby start indiscriminately shining their flashlights en masse, creating an artificial sun, of sorts, and eventually throwing off the elaborate processes of the entire global ecosystem! Don’t you tell me about science!

Less severe, artists like Los Angeles-based Nicholas Crozier Malkin a.k.a. Afterhours might lose a tiny bit of inspiration. Here he is. The photo is time-stamped to assure us of his nocturnal authority, and going even further on that front, he’ll be releasing his debut LP Lowlife on January 28 via Not Not Fun (who also released his Sleepwalker 12-inch in 2012). Afforded a preliminary listen, it’s already one of my early favorites of 2014, and while it certainly isn’t the darkest album to ever exist, neither is that the point, as much as creating a tone utterly congruous with a city (mostly) asleep. Genres traditionally associated with this feeling, such as a trip-hop and deep house, are somewhat prominently referenced, but a welcome variety prevents the album from falling firmly into either category. Additionally: reverberant piano? Will I ever not be into it?

Malkin also hosts a radio show on Sundays called “Field Recordings of the Afterhours.” Check it out here.

Fabulous scientific breakthroughs are a regular feature of today’s technologically advanced (relative to the past) and advancing society, but in between all of the worthwhile, seemingly altruistic research being done, were you aware of our fully-fleshed capabilities as revivers of historical figures? I don’t mean in a zombie sense — because what would be the benefit of personally chastising Ronald Reagan if he was always trying to catch a gnaw? — but in the completely normal sense, albeit with slightly different motivations now that some time has passed. Francesco De Gallo… wait, they’re telling me that the 18th-century Spanish painter spelled his name slightly differently. Well. This guy’s cool too. C’mooon science.

Acknowledging the accuracy of referring to Apex Ideals as his debut LP, the Montreal-based De Gallo a.k.a. Hobo Cubes has certainly earned the “prolific” adjective over the past five years. At least a dozen cassettes and recorded collaborations, many of which were released through his own Hobo Cult label, have bolstered his musical persona as one of genuine complexity, borrows as he does from a variety of electronic sub-genres. De Gallo’s collaborations elsewhere have sometimes been more blatantly beat-oriented, but the music of Hobo Cubes tasks to envelop in a way that avoids the “ambient” label alone. It’s an abstract style that earned him a spot at Mutek last year, and one that is currently making me salivate. And I’m not even in the mood for salsa.