Benjamin Ealovega is one of the most prolific photographers specialising in classical music today. You’ve almost certainly seen his work before – it seems like he has taken the cover photos for several high-profile new releases every month. He recently took some great new promotional photos for one of my clients. I could have just said “Thank you, Ben, for taking such nice pictures of my artists” but oh, no, that would have been too easy.

Besides, he’ll appreciate it more if I make the effort to identify examples of his work and then add inappropriate captions to them. Right?

He knows what he did.

Well, my wallet is gone, but at least I found my pants.

Don’t look now, but there’s a man with a camera behind that tree.

Honestly, officer, I had no idea that room was behind there.

SAY MY NAME

What shall we sing after we rob the casino?

And as they began the long walk back to civilisation, she started to wish there really was a machine gun in her violin case.

And it’s called a violin, you say?

No, really, take your time. I’ll wait here.

Oh yes she did.

Oh no he didn’t.

Don’t push me. I’m close to the edge.

And you’re absolutely sure this won’t look like a mugshot?

You should really choose a safe word. You might need it.

So that wasn’t why you bought me to this remote and secluded location? Well. This is awkward.

I wrote a guest post for Will Robin’s excellent blog on the Rite of Spring. The idea of the blog is for scholars, composers, performers and choreographers to share their experiences of the Rite of Spring. I did think about sharing the story of how the Rite of Spring played a central role in my teenage years, and became the soundtrack to the period in which I decided to pursue a career in music*. But then Will pointed out that I could just make fun of album covers like I always do, so I did that instead.