Both are off the air now, although they are probably seen in re-runs. I have moved on to the Home Decorating reality game shows where one designer eventually wins their own television show.

These reality shows are a bit more realistic in design than the “decorate your ex-friend’s room” shows are. I used to watch them paint the floor in the switched room shows and think, “Yeah, right, that’s going to look like crap after a month.” Did you ever seen paint stay on a floor. It seemed none of the things they did was for durability or even so you could enter your room a month later and still find pleasure in the decorating.

They were continually finding out what their friends wanted first. “I hate pink, Mildred, do not paint these walls pink.” Then, the decorator would listen and nod their head and show up with enough pink paint and accessories to make Barbie happy and the room owner cry.

The absolute most memorable one for me was when they hung a section of a bedroom wall with moss. The client entered, eyes closed, and said, “What IS that smell?” I’m sure we all would love to live with moss on our walls.

When I lived in Wyoming, my eternal decorating attempt was the downstairs kitchen. It screamed, “The worse of trading spaces.” We received tile free but not enough of any one color. Husband decided to use two colors and make a diamond pattern in the middle of the floor. It looked good on paper. To make matters worse, we had to use cheap wood for the cabinets, so I painted them. By the time we moved out, there had to be five or more layers of paint on the cabinets. White, thankfully covered, the latest color scheme, which I lovingly referred to as our Easter Egg kitchen.

I like to think that I have learned a lot from the decorating shows. If I had the money, I would buy dark bamboo flooring and use muted browns and earthy colors for a minimal front room decor. I would find a throw I loved and design around it. I would get rid of clutter; which is everywhere in the 600 square foot upstairs of our house; not that it isn’t also cluttered in the 600 square foot finished walk-out basement; because it is. I just do not have to look at it as often.

For now, our decorating consists of Fireman “turn out” gear draped over a dining room chair and blankets and pillows permanently ensconced on two couches. I think the carpeted doggy stairs going up to the couch add an elegant touch but nowhere near as charming as the hall’s wrappers and medicine bottles that litter husband’s chair area. Not to be outdone, my area is now surrounded by piles of papers being sorted for tax time.

Frontroom shelves are lined with books and DVD’s, as well as dead batteries and burned out bulbs waiting to be recycled. The dog has her own rubbermaid shoe box of toys, and is the neatest person in the house. Am I going to post a picture for you to see? Heck, NO!