Fertility Over 50 – New Fertility Calculations?

The Future...

​The number of women exploring fertility over 50 is on the rise and this trend is going to continue. So much so that we will chortle at the idea that it's too old to have a baby at 50​. When I paint this picture, many assume that this scene will depend on whether a woman uses donor eggs or not. But that's not the case. ​

As we come to understand how the feminine shows up in the creative process (which has been omitted from all we have been taught about female fertility), things will change rapidly.

​Filra's Concern

We are not quite there yet though and in the world of fertility over 50, apart from the pressure of actually trying to get pregnant after 50​, you may worry ​about feeling old when your baby does arrive.

This is what Filra - one of the wonderful members of our tribe - discovered and it was her message that inspired this audio and article. What follows is an extract from that.

​​​ ​Deirdre, I will be 52 soon and currently our six eggs are trying to become healthy blastocysts.

Meanwhile a recent ultrasound of my uterus revealed an ovary that requires further investigation.

This development certainly pushes my self-imposed timeline back.

I'm constantly doing the math with when the baby would be born and how old I will be.

Deirdre, how do we deal with pregnancy after so much history? I fear I don't have the tools to be a confident pregnant woman.

Doing The Math...

​Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your story Filra. ​The part I would like to address here is: "I'm constantly doing the math with when the baby would be born and how old I will be".

​So with the intention of helping you to feel more empowered around this issue I will shed some feminine light on what is happening here. The math to which you refer is the kind of math we've been taught in our male, patriarchal world. Allow me to share some of the 'unwritten arithmetic rules' ​​in which we experience fertility over 50.

First of all, because younger women are more valued in our patriarchal world, any calculations we do in relation to fertility over 50 are likely to assume ​lack and limits. If that doesn't translate into hard numbers (which it more than likely will), it will yield concerns (emotional answers) reflecting this negative bias.

​Math in Fertility Over 50

For example, when sharing your intentions around your fertility over 50, you will probably find yourself being confronted with the following 'answers'. Even if they are not spoken to your face, they will be ​prancing around in somebody's mind (maybe even your own) - because that is what we have been trained to believe.

As you can see the 'math' that embraces fertility over 50 will more than likely reveal an answer that amounts to zero - No, not possible, null, void, gone, over and other equally inspiring replies.

Any 'proof' that contradicts this deficit perspective will be given a patriarchal slap on the wrist at one level or another (see my article on ovulation after menopause as an example). In short, fertility over 50 is a world that is saturated in equations which tell us over and over that our days - and everything else - are numbered.

The ​Fundamental Mathematical Flaw...

​That patriarchal numbering ​has a huge impact on what we belief to be true and possible in our fertility over 50. But there is a much greater mathematical flaw running through all things relating to our female fertility on the planet - overlooked by even the most adept mathematicians.

​What might that flaw be? The Creative Feminine™ has been omitted from the calculations. Not entirely it must be said - she appears in (E) egg and (W) womb part of that sum. But her other essential contributions to the creative process have ​long since been lost....

​As a result, when not getting pregnant​, no thought is given to engaging feminine wisdom at a deeper level. (That notion indeed would probably be met with mirth). Exploration of a woman's deeper desires and intentions as a mother are never considered for example. Her readiness and how she might feel about her security, support system, relationship(s) and finances do not have a place on the balance sheet. In other words, the deeper issues that affect fertility over 50 (and all female fertility) are never accounted for in our current approach. ​

Feminine Math...

​​But we experience this as normal because it is normal in a world that prevents the feminine from showing up in any meaningful way - for long enough so that real change can occur. And this is the background against which all fertility statistics emerge.

But instead of investigating further our basic fertility measurements and equations, we accept that the 'answers' compute what is possible in fertility over 50. As opposed to what is possible in fertility over 50 - in a world that has little clue about the Creative Feminine​™.

So I'm inviting you begin engaging your feminine wisdom here and choose to do a different kind of math. Instead of asking questions that emerge from that deficit perspective (like how old you will be when your baby is born), ask yourself how young you will feel as a mother now. Or how much healthier you will notice yourself becoming over the next few years. Because these fresh, positive questions will demand a more feminine kind of enquiry and response.

​And then, I'd like you to play with this equation and see how it feels any better.

​My Deepest Desires/Intentions

​+ My Feminine Wisdom

+Scientific Understanding

= The woman/mother I was born to be!

​In the future Filra, 52 is going to be considered super young in female fertility. ​Together we are facilitating that shift by learning how to include again the whole of the Creative Feminine™ in the creative process. Thank you so much for your part in this evolution!​

this audio comes about in response to a message I received from Chloe who was 45 and pregnant.

. I'd like to support you is just to share what I hear in that question. And what is happening. It sounds like it is that you're reviewing your history of many efforts and many attempts and the feeling of failure where you've tried and it hasn't working for tried and it hasn't worked. And this has been repeated over and over in different ways in your fertility journey in your motherhood journey. And so I'd just like to remind you here that this kind of approach or interpretation of our fertility journey is very much a patriarca one in which success is only seen in terms of the outcome, the project the baby. And you were being invited to engage your feminine wisdom here because that's history his story the patriarchal interpretation and is time for her story, your story the feminine version of what has unfolded for you over the last year to show up here now because if you reflect back on all this journey you will see clearly how each of those experiences have helped you to show-up more authentically to discern Who you really want to be in the world and have added to your empowerment to your sense of serve to your sense of integrity to your confidence and to your allowing yourself to be you instead of having to do this in a particular way at a particular time. This journey has made you step up and say you know I want it now even if the circumstances aren't perfect according to the patriarchal download.

​I hope there was value in that for you and would love to hear your comments on fertility over 50 and/or fertility calculations. Please share below because your feminine contribution here really, really matters!

And each of those experiences those baby's those attempts have added to you as a woman even if that's not obvious to the medical model or to patriarchy. And so I'd really be inviting you to really connect with your story in a new way and forget the patriarchal history so that you can write your own story and that links to the form stage of my feminine engagement method. But you are really being invited here now to switch that mantra in your head about failure and last in two one hour gain and empowerment and I'd actually be asking you to go through each of those parent classes and of course many of them will have been difficult and painful.