“That one can convince one’s opponents with printed reasons, I have not believed since the year 1764. It is not for that purpose that I have taken up my pen, but rather merely to annoy them, and to give strength and courage to those on our side, and to make it known to the others that they have not convinced us.”
G.C. Lichtenberg (1742 – 1799), courtesy of 'Deogolwulf'

Sunday, 29 December 2013

The last Sunday Rumble of 2013

Are there signs of panic in the newsrooms?I do sense a certain desperation at Sky News, my favourite newsroom, as they scratch about trying to find, er, well, some news, actually! I mentioned a few weeks back how deadly quiet this battered old globe of ours has become which is "A Good Thing", of course, but leaves the imagination free to worry about what might be approaching from a direction none of the so-called experts ever told us about. Ah well, fingers crossed!

The end of a beautiful friendship: I have mentioned before, 'many a time and oft', 'my mate Rupe' with whom hitherto I have enjoyed an excellent friendship mainly on account of him sending me - free of charge! - a satellite dish and a dead-clever recording-thingie. Alas, I should have known that there is no such thing as a freebie from an Aussie and when I realised that I was paying £63 a month for the pleasure of not watching almost total 24-hour crap I'm afraid our friendship ended. The only thing I shall really miss will be Fox News which I rather enjoyed - on an occasional basis - although no doubt some comms swot will tell me that you can watch it live via computer. Perhaps when the 'Memsahib' runs off with the milkman I might just dispense with TV for ever.

The 'Milipede' is crawling towards victory: That is, according to Matthew d'Ancona in today's Telegraph and he is echoing what most other commentators are forecasting for the election in 2015. If it happens and if the first thing the 'Milipede' does inside No.10 is to ring up the UNITE union boss, Ed MacCluskey, for instructions, and if Ed Balls moves into No.11 to hone his borrowing and spending 'skills' then the result is all too obvious, simply look over the Channel and see what is happening in socialist France! However, even for a reckless ( and usually wrong) forecaster like me, it is far too early to call. Even so, 10-year bond yields for both the UK and the USA have now moved over 3%!

"Make 'em laugh, make 'em cry":So go the words of the old song and between them the Telegraph and the Spectator do their best to comply. If you really are in need of more melancholia then try Bruce Anderson whose title says it all: "The West has lost control of the world and disaster awaits". He starts with the death of King Frederick III in 1888 and it's downhill from there on in! But if it's 'cheerful chappies' you're after then look no further than Daniel Hannan in the Telegraph and Fraser Nelson at The Coffee House. He provides this cheerful diagram:

There, feeling better already, aren't you? Hannan adds to the jollity by reminding us that doomsters like Prince Charles, Steven Guilbeault and Chris Rose, both of Greenpeace, all share the same characteristics - being prats and being wrong!

A New Year puzzle for you all: Here is a sonnet, rather a plodding sonnet, I'm afraid, written in 1936 by Mr. David Schulman to honour one of America's heroes and entitled:

You see what I mean about 'plodding' but there is a secret and brilliant catch to this poem and if you can deduce what it it is there are two prizes to be won. The second prize is that you will be sent advanced copies of every forthcoming blog post on D&N, the first prize is that you will not!

They should all be made to wear burqas: Well, there's ugly, then there are footie fans and then, dread sight, there are footie players! I have just watched Arsenal play Newcastle and it looked like a mass escape from the nearest 'Ugliest Man in the World' exhibition at the local fairground. I am astonished that these young men are not satisfied at being just plain ugly but they needs must add to the sorry state of their features by smothering their bodies in hideous tattoos and hair cuts executed by sundry drunken barbers who obviously hate footie players. When I am reminded that they earn more in a week than I do in a year my facial tic re-appears, my fingers flex and small flecks of foam appear on my lips and I mutter to the 'Memsahib', "Fetch my meds - quick!"

Just in case you were feeling cheerful after your Christmas break: I thought this story from The Mail would return you quickly to the 'glums' you are used to:

A leading figure in the Ministry of Defence has claimed more than £100,000 expenses in his first year of work, it has been revealed.

Bernard Gray, who was appointed to help manage the budget, enjoyed 106 stays in London and Bristol hotels, for £23,000, despite his home being less than a 60-mile drive from both.

He was also given an official car and chauffeur, costing the department £65,531.

Official documents, seen by the Sunday People, reveal he also spent £17,929 on planes and trains, and £280 in taxis in 2011-2012. In the months since, he has spent £14,457 travelling abroad.

Mr Gray, who earns £220,00 a year as Chief of Defence Material, was taken on in 2010 to help target waste in the department.

Presumably this was what 'Dim Dave' was referring to when he told the troops in Afghanistan, many of whom now face redundancy when they return from 'the sharp end', that it was "mission accomplished!" For who, Dave, tell us that, for who?

The letters that the poem does contain are those of the word LIncoln, plus a, d, e, g, h, i, r, s, t, w. Those latter are the ones required to spell Washington. I'm left with d, e left over - so first I'll check that they really were used.

Aha, they appeared in "tide"; bugger!

What other American historical character can be spelled with the letters from Lincoln and Washington, plus d & e? Not that twat Jefferson, thank goodness, nor the overrated Ben Franklin. Nor again Roosevelt. I may have to sleep on this.

Hold on; d & e appear in Delaware, and the rest of the letters of Delaware also appear on my list.

Hold on, m' 'earties: delete Lincoln; the point is that the whole pome contains only the letters that appear in its title. I'll offer you that now, unchecked, because the football highlights start any moment now.

You are surely not going to vote another even further left one in than the one already in power. It is labour isn't it.

If you do the Conservatively governed Dominions of Australia, Canada and N.Z will just have to redact the Great off Great Britain and immediately rescue H.M. After all she is ours as well and we can't have her exposed to the socialist riff raff can we?

Well done, DM, you win the first prize! Each line of the poem is an anagram of the title. And thanks for the link to Zero Hedge - a fascinating little essay.

Now look here, AussieD, just because you finally woke up 'down under there' and kicked out that dreadful female with the 'speak your weight machine' voice, there's no need for you to get all superior! I put my trust entirely in the good sense, intelligence and shrewd acumen of the British people . . . oh God, I've just re-read that . . . do they still do those £10 offers to emigrate to Australia?

Just think, Andra, if I did emigrate to 'Oz' we could be neighbours - such fun! And DM never stops thinking, proper swot he is!

Dom, thanks for the links which on a cold, wet, gale-hammered Monday morning has already given me a headache! I had never heard of Franklin's squares but just one look at them and I could hear my synapses slamming shut!

Dunno about football, I haven't watched it since Bobby Robson's Ipswich were doing so well, but baseball has quite an assortment of exotically illustrated and barbered practitioners. This year's 'world series' champions went in for the beardy look, from the immaculately sculpted beard of David Ortiz to the 'Grizzly Adams' of Mike Napoli :