Bagels: Official Food of Test & Measurement

If you've hung around EE Times for more than a few microseconds, you know that my colleague Max Maxfield writes incessantly about bacon. But, do you really want bacon on your lab bench? All that grease getting on your lab equipment will surely make for a mess. Fortunately, we can do better.

That's where bagels come in. They're naturally less greasy than bacon unless your dare to put bacon in your bagel, something I would never do. Neither does Josh Miller, who last week posted the photo below on Instragram, tweeted by @HilaryLustig from @TeledyneLeCroy, and the oscilloscope isn't even from her company.

The bagel is now the official food of test & measurement. Just be careful not to get the seeds on your circuits.

As you can see, the bagel fits nicely on your bench, even leaving enough room for a breadboard and an oscilloscope. So today, I declare the bagel as the official food of test & measurement.

What do you put on your lab-bench bagel? There's cream cheese, of course, and bagel purists agree that adding smoked salmon, also known as lox, is considered normal. Some people even go so far as to slice their bagels and add tuna, but now we're getting into an area that bagel purists might find unacceptable. Bacon on a bagel? Never.

Then there's the type of bagel. Purists accept plain, garlic, and onion flavor or possibly topped with poppy seeds or sesame seeds. My personal favorite is with raisins, although real bagel purists will balk at that. Flavors such as blueberry, chocolate, jalapeno, and French Toast are simply absurd.

Although bagel purists consider seeded bagels acceptable, I would avoid them on my bench. You don't want them getting into your circuits nor into your equipment. Josh Miller may have learned that after posting the photo above. Don't put too much cream cheese on your bench bagel either, for it can get on your fingers and then then get on your oscilloscope knobs. Please be careful if you use a touchscreen oscilloscope; you don't want to "schmear" your screen. At the very least, wipe your hands.

I believe other essential features of bagels in the lab are that they remain fresh without refrigeration, they don't leave grease stains or get your fingers sticky, and partially eaten portions keep until you return (if science interrupts you in the middle of a snack).

Uh, I'd be more worried about the drinks getting into the equipment if spilled. And the ESD generating properties of the plastic containers. We got rid of styrofoam cups a few years ago in favor of paper - help the environment and cut ESD at the same time, but I make a point of not bringing drinks into the lab ever and encourage others to do the same.