by gournalist

Bruce Murphy, a MRM spokesperson, told The Gournalist, “The Straight White Male has had to deal with more problems than anyone, ever.”

Murphy explained why the MRM exists and explained why they are constantly being burdened by society.

“The SWM has had to deal with the abolishment of enslaving black people, which has led us doing our own chores around the house.”

“Not only that, but the rise of feminism has given women the right to vote and so forth, which has forced us to wash our own dishes and prepare our own meals.”

“We’ve also been given the burden of treating those who aren’t heterosexual as equals, which pains us even more, because now the gays and the lesbians have the right to flaunt their free and fabulous lives on the streets during their rights parade.”

The recent outrage the SWM is feeling now is the burden of not having the ‘benefit-of-the-doubt’ to freely rape women whenever they choose.

The MRM recently released a campaign to oppose a feminist campaign saying ‘Don’t Be That Guy’ with their original and creative slogan, ‘Don’t Be That Girl’ or ‘bitch’ or ‘loud-mouth-slut-who-should-just-be-happy-she’s-getting-laid.’

The campaign ‘Don’t Be That Guy’ basically means that just because a woman. who is inebriated, says No, it doesn’t mean she’s saying Yes, which has really upset the SWM, because the only right that hasn’t been taken away from him is his ability to have sex with unconscious women.

“The SWM is becoming the most under-privileged person on the planet,” Murphy explained. “Especially now, because soon our ability to have sex with as many unconscious women as possible might be labelled as wrong.”

The MRM’s ‘Don’t Be That Girl’ campaign states that those women who are viciously raped while unconscious should just keep quiet about it, because it’s their fault they can’t handle their booze.

“It’s the SWM’s right as a SWM to take what he wants no questions asked.”