Less than a week after making national headlines for coming out as HIV-positive on Today, Charlie Sheen is making news once again. RadarOnline claims it has obtained bootleg video of the actor engaging in a sex act with another man.

The minute-and-a-half long video, which was purportedly shot in 2011, shows Sheen smoking crack in a Las Vegas hotel room and then grinning up at the camera before performing oral sex on the man.

the “alleged video” had absolutely nothing “to do with the above referenced lawsuit which was filed and subsequently dismissed more than five years ago.”

The Sex You Never See In Films

I saw a discussion yesterday about intimacy and sex in gay romance novels. It was an opinion and you can’t dispute an opinion…even if it’s misguided and wrong in so many ways. One huge problem with sex in books or in films is that there are always people claiming there’s too much sex and never enough people claiming there’s too little sex. In other words, the very loud sexless people don’t mind talking openly about it, but those who like sex still live with a stigma that silences them…unfortunately.

Another huge problem with sex in gay books is that gay men (and I mean only gay men, not B, L, T or even asexual people) are not usually part of the discussion. There’s something wrong with that scenario and as a gay man I find I’m a lot more compelled to speak up about it nowadays than I was in the past. I think it’s fine if a group of asexual people want to talk about asexuality, however, I’m gay and don’t make me part of that discussion, at least not without making that distinction first.

But right after I saw that discussion, I ran across the article I’m linking to now and it resonated with me because one of the things I’ve always tried to do with sex scenes in novels is not leave out the most interesting parts like they do in films and in other erotic novels. The things that really do happen. For me these “things” are just as intimate as “cuddling.” In fact, too much “intimate cuddling” makes me physically sick to my stomach. It’s creepy in that let’s both wear matching outfits way.

The things I’m talking about are the little things we all experience during sex…the things that keep it real. Like a lamp falling off the table when the sex is so strong and so good the bed rocks. Or, what happens the moment after climax. I think those things are not only sexy, but they also portray intimacy as well. Especially for gay men. Sex is intimacy, too, in spite of what those who aren’t getting any…or don’t want any…will tell you.

I don’t have a quote from this web site, but you can check out the cartoons here at college humor. And keep in mind you have to have a sense of humor about sex to “get” these things. If you don’t you probably shouldn’t continue. Basically, it’s a series of funny cartoons that discuss the more intimate things that you really don’t ever see in films…or in most books. But they happen.

Modern Family’s Reid Ewing and Plastic SurgeryAnd…Reid Ewing came out on Twitter and we’re all thrilled for him.

If that sounds sarcastic I think it’s because the shock of actors coming out is wearing off for most people by now. It’s still newsworthy and I still believe that no matter who comes out in public it’s not something that is meant to be taken lightly. However, it’s not as much of a novelty anymore.

Reid Ewing, who I’m not familiar with because I never watched Modern family, is now talking about coming out and his body/looks issues. He had some kind of plastic surgery problem. But it’s interesting to note that his coming out isn’t the focus of this story, it’s his plastic surgery issues.

“I told the doctor why I felt my face needed cosmetic surgery and told him I was an actor,” he added. “He agreed that for my career it would be necessary to get cosmetic surgery.”

“He quickly determined that large cheek implants would address the issues I had with my face, and a few weeks later I was on the operating table.”

Ewing says he underwent several procedures over the next few years, but ultimately realized his problem wasn’t one that could be solved by scalpels and botox injections.

I don’t know what kind of doctor he went to but I’ve had plastic surgery…my nose…and I screened three plastic surgeons before I decided on one. None of them talked me into it, none gave me unrealistic goals, and not one of them told me I needed to do it. I guess Ewing had a bad experience. For me any plastic surgery I’ve had was an excellent experience and if I hadn’t mentioned it now no one would even know I’d had it done. My reasons for going to a plastic surgeon were the same reasons why people go to good hair stylists. Simple to figure out.

You can read more of this here. I’m a firm believer in plastic/cosmetic surgery as long as the patient doesn’t go too far or get too obsessed, and there are people who will take it to the extreme. However, if you’re not one of those people, cosmetic surgery makes you feel better about yourself and very few people even realize you did it. I think it’s important to make that distinction about cosmetic surgery, speaking as someone with personal experience who doesn’t have any horror stories to tell.

Author of over 100 published LGBT romance novels and stories, including AN OFFICER AND HIS GENTLEMAN and best selling VIRGIN BILLIONAIRE SERIES. Hates beets.
New Hope, PA Palm Springs, CA
ryan-field.blogspot.com