Hey kids, it’s that time of year again! That’s right! It’s time to vote for your favorite blog, twitter, new band, old band, bartender and label over at the Chicago Reader’s best of 2012 readers poll. If you PUH-LEEEEEEEEAASE would be so kind as to head over there and vote for badsandwichchronicles.net for best blog, I’d love you all forever. You don’t have to live in Chicago. Hell, it’s kinda better if you DON’T live in Chicago. We won it last year and it’s been nothing but ruby encrusted dildos and the finest in caviar since we donned the crown. I want to win again, but I’ll need your help.

Now, here in Chicago, politics are notoriously dirty. A big trick that ‘the man’ pulls during elections is that he sends his thugs/cronies/buddies out to nursing homes and poor neighborhoods full of people who are vaguely senile/don’t speak English, where they round ‘em up, load ‘em on busses, drive ‘em to the polling place and give them a cheat sheet that they use to vote, which contains all the relevant races on the ballot and the candidates that people should cast their votes for. Since I’m from Chicago, and my goal is to be known as a fat cat of sorts, here’s a small cheat sheet for you, my demented followers:

Best Local Blog: Badsandwichchronicles.net

Best local record label: Red Scare Industries

Best Chicagoan to follow on Twitter @badsandwich

Best bartender: Katie Degroote- Gingerman Tavern

Thanks! You guys are the best. I’m eternally grateful. Now, there are all sorts of other categories that I’d love to be considered for too if y’all are bored and want to really get into it. I think I’d make a great “best Chicago ambassador” and my band, Brendan Kelly and the Wandering Birds would be a pretty awesome “best new band.” What else? I don’t know. You guys are pretty good at this stuff. Last year the Lawrence Arms beat out Wilco for ‘best band that’s been around forever’ and also won ‘best band name’ despite the fact that The Lawrence Arms is, at best, a confusing, barely acceptable band name. And that’s the awesome part about this:

There are enough of you, my dogs of war, to effectively take control of this whole hilarious poll. We kind of did it last year with minimal effort, so I’d LOVE to really stick it to the squares and the dildos and drive it home this year with a vast and terrible exploding outpouring of yellow, brown and red support. Are you people out there ready? Up to the challenge? The shit takes 2 minutes and will not ever result in you getting spammed or anything like that (I say this as someone who has voted in this poll for the past few years and never received even a single email from the Reader [even when I won!])

My fate is in your hands. Help me Obi Wan Kenobis. Yall are my only hopes. THIS is a link to the ballot.

Yeah, seems like the sort of thing the most self-assured of all the burly org-ogre brick oven pizza chefs in Philadelphia after about a month of meticulous brainstorming. Best guess, it’s probably the fattest member of Anchor Arms

What d I get out of it -lmfao? Jk. But im curiously wonderin how it benefits you?I mean, do you get a check, do you get more followers, do you get more naked pictures, lol…imean wasss the BFD? Jus sayin’. You know I still have a crush on u anyways, (since BITD ppl, so shut the fuck up)