Sunday, October 17, 2004

Today's Hoot!

Having launched a unilateral attack on Clark County, Ohio, The Guardian now finds itself facing an unexpected uprising from insurgents loyal to their tyrannical president.

The Guardian's campaign of liberation, led by an unprecedented shock and awe letter assault, has become bogged down in a quagmire of hostile e-mails and online mockery. Instead of the flowers they'd anticipated, The Guardian's soldiers are being targeted by the very people they believed they were helping.
...
Fears that weapons of mass destruction would be deployed against the invaders have so far proved groundless, although rumours persist of an alleged postcard-powered Doomsday Device. The device is said to be capable of transmitting fatal images to massed Guardian forces within 45 seconds.

"All Guardian journalists will feel the wrath of postcard vengeance!" a resistance spokesman urged on a website opposed to the imperialist takeover. "Images of the Hatted One shall be upon them! Blog is great!"

Based on the comments, the rumored Doomsday Devices are impacting all over the Guardian offices.