A newlywed bride, who waited until she was married to have sex with her husband,

'I had this bizarre reaction,' Clara told ABC, who for privacy reasons did not want to use her real name. 'I had burning and swelling and redness, which was very unusual. I thought I had contracted an STD.

I have a condition that seems a bit similar. The very SIGHT of my penis makes women have sudden respiratory difficulties -- they break out in these weird rhythmic, spasmodic patterns of hyperventilation with corresponding vocal cord emittings. Sometimes the effect is so severe they actually end up crying.

Mr. Coffee Nerves:I have a condition that seems a bit similar. The very SIGHT of my penis makes women have sudden respiratory difficulties -- they break out in these weird rhythmic, spasmodic patterns of hyperventilation with corresponding vocal cord emittings. Sometimes the effect is so severe they actually end up crying.

It's not your penis. Being locked in a basement for extended periods of time will produce the same effect.

andynz81:A newlywed bride, who waited until she was married to have sex with her husband, has opened up about the shock discovery that she is allergic to his sperm.

You need to figure this shiat out before you get so damn serious about things.

And that is why i don't listen to bible-thumpers, ever. If she had done the deed with him before the wedding, they'd have discovered the problem and decided then what the best course of action would be.

I've actually seen this before. My second ex used to have similar symptoms after sex and we had both tested clean as far as STD's, etc., and were faithful and monogamous until we went our seperate ways. During our marriage though, she asked her gyno about it and the gyno concluded that it was allergies to the sperm.

Not too heartbroken about it myself - her allergy to my sperm didn't end our marriage...it was my allergy to her bullshiat.

Seminal plasma hypersensitivity causes an allergic reaction to the proteins carrying the sperm, not the sperm itself

Sounds like it could be any man's sperm, not just this specific person, unless those proteins are unique to each individual. Yet another reason to determine if you are sexually compatible with your mate before tying the knot.

Mr. Coffee Nerves:I have a condition that seems a bit similar. The very SIGHT of my penis makes women have sudden respiratory difficulties -- they break out in these weird rhythmic, spasmodic patterns of hyperventilation with corresponding vocal cord emittings. Sometimes the effect is so severe they actually end up crying.

Premeditated_Road_Rage:I've actually seen this before. My second ex used to have similar symptoms after sex and we had both tested clean as far as STD's, etc., and were faithful and monogamous until we went our seperate ways. During our marriage though, she asked her gyno about it and the gyno concluded that it was allergies to the sperm.

Not too heartbroken about it myself - her allergy to my sperm didn't end our marriage...it was my allergy to her bullshiat.

Mr. Coffee Nerves:I have a condition that seems a bit similar. The very SIGHT of my penis makes women have sudden respiratory difficulties -- they break out in these weird rhythmic, spasmodic patterns of hyperventilation with corresponding vocal cord emittings. Sometimes the effect is so severe they actually end up crying.

One day I walking down the street and saw a little boy sitting on the curb cry. So I say down next to him and asked what was wrong. He said, I'm too small to do what the older boys do so I'm all alone. I thought about it for a bit and started crying too.

miss diminutive:Mr. Coffee Nerves: I have a condition that seems a bit similar. The very SIGHT of my penis makes women have sudden respiratory difficulties -- they break out in these weird rhythmic, spasmodic patterns of hyperventilation with corresponding vocal cord emittings. Sometimes the effect is so severe they actually end up crying.

It's not your penis. Being locked in a basement for extended periods of time will produce the same effect.

miss diminutive:Mr. Coffee Nerves: I have a condition that seems a bit similar. The very SIGHT of my penis makes women have sudden respiratory difficulties -- they break out in these weird rhythmic, spasmodic patterns of hyperventilation with corresponding vocal cord emittings. Sometimes the effect is so severe they actually end up crying.

It's not your penis. Being locked in a basement for extended periods of time will produce the same effect.

/sorry, had to

And then there's Miss D, whom I have loved from afar for many many moons.

miss diminutive:Mr. Coffee Nerves: I have a condition that seems a bit similar. The very SIGHT of my penis makes women have sudden respiratory difficulties -- they break out in these weird rhythmic, spasmodic patterns of hyperventilation with corresponding vocal cord emittings. Sometimes the effect is so severe they actually end up crying.

It's not your penis. Being locked in a basement for extended periods of time will produce the same effect.

FTFA: "It pretty much dramatically reduced our libido. We really haven't had much sex at all for the last 10 months. The intimacy level drops dramatically -- all of a sudden instead of living with your new wife or husband, you are more like roommates."

Mr. Coffee Nerves:I have a condition that seems a bit similar. The very SIGHT of my penis makes women have sudden respiratory difficulties -- they break out in these weird rhythmic, spasmodic patterns of hyperventilation with corresponding vocal cord emittings. Sometimes the effect is so severe they actually end up crying.

Mr. Coffee Nerves:I have a condition that seems a bit similar. The very SIGHT of my penis makes women have sudden respiratory difficulties -- they break out in these weird rhythmic, spasmodic patterns of hyperventilation with corresponding vocal cord emittings. Sometimes the effect is so severe they actually end up crying.

And one night they could be in the club having fun with their gay friend and give them a little kiss *smack* and go home with their AIDS on their lips!

And then with her husband then like five years later "Mr Johnson, you have AIDS" he goes "AIDS?! But I'm not a homosexual."

.

.

"Sure you're not a homosexual."

Does it mess with anyone else that that Eddie Murphy bit is THIRTY YEARS OLD this year? It freaks me right the fark out.

Wow... Yeah, that's farked up...

Crikey! I never realised, either. That's completely farked up.

How many random lines from that album can you pull out at, say, a party with a big percentage of people knowing where you're coming from? Even youngsters know the sasquatch line.

Just a heads-up that the script-o-rama page for Delirious is an abortion. Well, at least for that bit. Missing words, misquoted words, and the entire "Mr Johnson" line is missing! I had to transcribe it off youtube.... always thought script-o-rama was very trustworthy.

[The connection being, as soon as I read the headline, Eddie Murphy appeared in my brain and said "sure you're allergic to your husband's sperm."]

dennysgod:FTFA: "It pretty much dramatically reduced our libido. We really haven't had much sex at all for the last 10 months. The intimacy level drops dramatically -- all of a sudden instead of living with your new wife or husband, you are more like roommates."

So now you are like every other married couple, welcome to the club.

/did they try anal?

Anal, are you kidding? She's the kind of fundbag that saves themselves for marriage, there's no chance in hell he's ever going there. He'll be lucky to get the annual begrudging BJ on his bday.