Thursday, November 1, 2012

eViL G's Weekly Picks - November 3rd Edition

Greetings from Central Florida.

Big ups to Alabama's #1 SuperPimp Keith Edwards, who took the time to contribute this week after stealing my password and hacking into the blog. For the record Keith, my password is no longer "tittysprinkles5220". Good luck hacking your way back in here before the Iron Bowl.

Before I forget, I wanted to thank everyone who texted, called or generally inquired about my state of mind following last week's abortion of a football game. I'm at peace with the Georgia game....really, I am. We're 7-1, ranked #7 and barring a disaster, the Gators should win 10 games for the first time in what seems like a long time. Most importantly, for the second straight year we'll all be treated to watching Georgia get rocked in the SEC title game.

Finally, in unrelated news I voted early today after standing in line for around 20-25 minutes. Come to find out the incumbent Orange County Tax Collector died a few weeks ago, but his name was still on the ballot. Apparently Orange County didn't have enough time to change the ballots before early voting, and in this case, early dying. There's a death and taxes joke in there somewhere, but I'm struggling to stay awake right now. Bottom line is I voted for the dead guy....ain't shit he can do if nobody pays their property taxes.

PICKS!!!

Virginia Tech at Miami

I was all set to pick this game when I realized these guys are playing, like right now. This game used to be must-see Saturday night prime time football. Now it's background noise while I iron a dress shirt for work tomorrow. Next.....

Missouri at Florida

Noon kickoff...not enough time to tailgate...UF's students show up as the first quarter ends. They spend the rest of the game updating their Facebook status while dancing to piped in techno music, as I wonder aloud why this latest generation of students are so gotdamned soft. The Swamp will be listless, and the team will come out flat. Thankfuly the scheduling gods threw us a bone. Missouri sucks, but they make up for it by being really, really bad at playing college football. Thank you scheduling gods.

Gators - 27

Mizzou - 10

Texas A&M at Mississippi State

It's a slow week when this game makes the weekly picks. Johnny Football puts up Xbox numbers again while Mississippi State continues its free fall right out of the Top 25.

Aggies - 31

Mithippi Thate - 20

Oregon at Southern Cal

If you enjoy waching Lane Kiffin underachieve in his profession, by all means watch this game. This is Chip Kelly's best Oregon team ever, and they actually play defense.

Ducks - 52

Trojans - 27

and finally...

Alabama at LSU

This is NOT the Game of the Century. It's merely a decent-sized speed bump on the way to Bama playing Oregon in the BCS title game. Usually I spend a litle more time breaking down the feaured "and finally" game, but I've wasted enough of your time already.

Both teams have great defenses. Bama's offense is balanced and efficient, and they have some young stud skill players who could start for just about any team in the country. LSU's offense is exactly like Bama's...minus the balance, efficiency and young, explosive skill players.

LSU's so-called home field advantage means absolutely nothing to Alabama...they've beaten LSU in Baton Rouge 24 times in 35 games, with 2 ties. When someone beats you in your own house that often, eventually there's a restraining order involved.

4 comments:

I am relieved to know the Bama post was a hack job. I wanted equal time for my Tigers.

I agree with on paper Bama is a two TD favorite, but this ain't paper. This is SEC football and last week's GA/FL tilt demonstrates emotion in rivalry games goes a long way. Bama should win, but the ball ain't round, emotions will be high, and the MadHatter has proven to be the equal of Saban thus far. I'll be in Tiger Stadium, praying for the miracle. Bringing along my brother, Father Bill, a Catholic Priest, for added karma.