A sad sad story

I am writing here today about a topic that may make some of you feel uneasy or uncomfortable, but here it goes

For probably the last 7 years of my life gambling has came and gone from time to time, for me it was an easy hook, after an initial big win I was bitten by the bug. The problem for me has never been winning, it has always been the temptation to go for that one more bet, many times down to the last dollar, which at times has put me in a severe finiancial situation and really put a toll on me and my family. Recently I had probably went for at least the last 6-7 months without gambling and I was proud of myself for that. But recently having moved to AZ, I am now surrounded with tons of new opportunitys to gamble. I was getting a long great, doing well with my business, but funds got a little tight so I decided to give it a try, I thought only $100 cant hurt anything. Upon that day, I hit it big cashing out with $1800, which at the time was very much so a blessing because I was getting ready to move my business into a new shop and buy some new shop equipment(I am in the custom manufacturing business). But of course, this wasn't enough, I went back a couple days later and cashed out with another $4k, no I realize that to some of you this may not be much but for me it was a huge gain!! But because of this damn illness, otherwise known as compulsive gambling, this was probably the worst thing that could have happened to me. I was fine for a few days, happy that I had won the money and bought lots of stuff for myself as well as my business, but after a few days the temptaion was back and I went back to the casino with a few hundred $$$$, which I did manage to make a profit from but being cocky I wound up betting too big and lost that money quickly, and this was the start of the destruction. I returned later on that day with another $1000 and lost it immediately, it was as if the cards had totally turned against me. Discouraged from the loss I didn't return for several days, but when it came to moving day I was on the way to sign the lease for my new shop, which of course drove right by the casino, with cash in my pocket I decided to stop in. It was a horrible day, I must have been losing 8 out of 10 hands. At the end of the day to my dismay I had lost over $1800, which was way beyond my limits and there went the money to the shop, I was destroyed by this. You would think I would learn my lesson, but of course not. This brings me to yesterday, I spend all last week scrounging up money and working to get enough money together to make the move, but I came up a few hundred short, so stupid me decides to take a couple hundred to the casino and try it out, of course I do nothing but lose again, at the time I supposedly only had a couple hundred in the bank so I figured that was my limit. But I didn't know a big deposit had just cleared the bank, so there I was right in the danger zone with access to big money, these days they make it too easy to withdraw beyond your ATM limits, right at the ATM!! No hassle just go ahead and spend away!! Well, at the end of the day that brings me to $1200 down, at one point I could have walked with an extra $400 but of course I decide to stay and play. At the end of the session it all really hit me, here I was right back in the middle of the very activity that has caused so much turmoil and heartache in my life!! As I sit here today only 1 day from when this all happened, I find it hard to even bring myself to work at all. I have ruined my chances to really make it with my business and really hardly left myself with enough to even pay my bills with. I spent a good part of the day yesterday a nervous wreck, trying to figure out a way out of this mess but at the end of the day i just feel like the biggest POS and I understand why somepeople take it too far and end their life over thier losses, its not the money but the shame that destroys you. I never went into this with ill intentions, but the power of money is great, and casinos are governed by evil, and having this addiction in my past it was easy to take over again, now it has left me with not much to work with, infact I may wind up losing much of my property and will likely be sued by several people just because now I have ruined my business.

So, was the win worth it all, no not at all, I would rather have spend this whole time working instead of wasting so many precious hours in that dirty, terrible casino.

Its all a game, whether it be controled by man or some force beyond that lets you win it big that first time out, just to later take you down and make you lose beyond your best intentions. How it can go from being so easy in the beginning, can't do anything wrong to not being able to do anything right, and the dealer getting that 21 in that opportune time tells me there are forces beyond our control behind the dealer. I cannot see any logic in it at all, with everything else In my life i have always been very careful and used caution in my spending, but this is a worse addiction that any drug could ever be.

Anyways, in a final note, I definitely think that gambling is a big problem in our society today, we have made it way too easy to lose our hard earned money, hell with internet casinos you can lose your ass right there in your home, even with short term wins we are all doomed to failure in the end, not many of us have the will to never return. Even with the internet casinos, payment handlers like netteller can allow you to withdraw beyond your account balance. As far as I am concered that is B.S., if anything else please put some sort of limit on our spending, instead of the skys the limit!! I have paid for my sins and it has taken down to nearly nothing, hopefully this time will be the last. I spent part of the day yesterday reading about the darker side of gambling and reading how many people it destroys every year. States are letting casinos come in to help the stated budget, but that money is coming from the people, and is it worth a few extra million added to the stated budget to destory even one familys life?? I think not. There has to be some sort of responsibility on the casinos part here. An bar would make an alcoholic leave if they drink too much, but a casino loves it when a compulsive gambler spends too much money, if casino operators have any morals at all(which I doubt they have very little) they should adopt some sort of system to prevent compusive gamblers from taking it too far. Missouri has did something about it, creating a spending/time limit for each player which help a little.

I am sure that many of you reading this can relate, but how do you cope with something like this and how do you permanently eliminate it from your life? I have taken the 1st step and banned myself from every casino in my state, but the damage is done, My biggest fear is not being able to recover from this loss.

What a loser....
"...evil dirty casino", "...governed by evil"
According to your posts you were approximatedly $4,000 ahead and STILL 1,000 ahead now (even after the losses.) And you wanna whine about it. Makes me wonder who REALLY is the evil? I do feel for you, everyone of us has experienced this sometime somewhere somehow. You are ahead and you could have gone home rich but instead you chose to stay and lose your shirts. I don't see why you are making it such a big deal...when you are in fact still WINNING?? And you are blaming the casino??

Methinks tis not the gambling problem or addiction that's your problem, IT IS BLAMING OTHER PEOPLE FOR YOUR FAULTS THAT MAKE YOU A LOSER

Oh, thanks for calling me a loser, that makes me feel so much better.
No, actually I am $500 down, ass, I am sorry if I didn't post every detail about my losses, I was only slightly ahead yesterday when I went and that went down the tubes. The point is how much this has taken over my thinking in the last couple weeks. Appearantly you can't relate so why don't you keep to yourself, only a true compulsive gambler knows how I feel right now. Gambling is my only problem, every time I have stayed away I have been fine. You are very wrong if you are going to try to sit here and say that anything good can become of it in the end, and if you want to admit it or not the casino is as much at fault as I am. Gambling is addicting, just by its nature, but the casinos take it a step farther to make it more addicting and to increase the temptation. Hell, I hardly see a website these days not advertising some sort of gambling, its in your face every day, I went 7 months without even thinking about it but all it took for me was 1 day at the casino and a big win to get me right back into my habit. And if you count what I have lost over the years we are talking about somewhere in the neighborhood of $50-60k, so I think I have paid for the right to bitch about it, so basically what I am saying is STFU

Gambling is my illness, I am sure that there are many others that feel the same way. I came on here because I need to vent. Whether you want to believe it or not there are evil forces at work. If there were not, it wouldn't be so easy in the beginning to win then become impossible to win later on.

Gambling is an excited but VERY dangerous hobby. May I suggest you to get professional help? I had been there few times with similar mind and regret about what I did. Self-control is very hard. Thanks to my "cheap" personality and I play very few now. (I also put all my "entertainment money" into stock for the past few months, so I don't really have too much extra to play. )

Loosing money is one thing. Loosing your LIFE is another. I belive someone here can give you a direction to get help. Another suggestion is have someone you trust take over your money control for a while until you get yourself back in line. What happened is happened, you need to lookforward to the future and doing something.

Oh, thanks for calling me a loser, that makes me feel so much better.
No, actually I am $500 down, ass, I am sorry if I didn't post every detail about my losses, I was only slightly ahead yesterday when I went and that went down the tubes. The point is how much this has taken over my thinking in the last couple weeks. Appearantly you can't relate so why don't you keep to yourself, only a true compulsive gambler knows how I feel right now. Gambling is my only problem, every time I have stayed away I have been fine. You are very wrong if you are going to try to sit here and say that anything good can become of it in the end, and if you want to admit it or not the casino is as much at fault as I am. Gambling is addicting, just by its nature, but the casinos take it a step farther to make it more addicting and to increase the temptation. Hell, I hardly see a website these days not advertising some sort of gambling, its in your face every day, I went 7 months without even thinking about it but all it took for me was 1 day at the casino and a big win to get me right back into my habit. And if you count what I have lost over the years we are talking about somewhere in the neighborhood of $50-60k, so I think I have paid for the right to bitch about it, so basically what I am saying is STFU

Gambling is my illness, I am sure that there are many others that feel the same way. I came on here because I need to vent. Whether you want to believe it or not there are evil forces at work. If there were not, it wouldn't be so easy in the beginning to win then become impossible to win later on.

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So sorry for your slip Toofast. I think it took a lot of courage to post and judgement is not what you need right now. I have done the exact thing you spoke of- start off with a good win, and then go back to test things out only to give back more. Don't beat yourself up any more or listen to those who do the same. I too have had the same experience as you, initially winning at a new site and then having everything go south and it has made me wonder if this is a coincidence or "non-random" and don't know if we will ever know. Here is a good site I know of which you might want to check out their posting board. Sometimes I look at it when I get too over confident about my wins, or compulsive about my betting. You must register/login in order to see the link.
There are a lot of people there who have lost more than their shirts, but their marriages, homes and jobs from compulsive gambling. Take care of you.

Gambling is an excited but VERY dangerous hobby. May I suggest you to get professional help? I had been there few times with similar mind and regret about what I did. Self-control is very hard. Thanks to my "cheap" personality and I play very few now. (I also put all my "entertainment money" into stock for the past few months, so I don't really have too much extra to play. )

Loosing money is one thing. Loosing your LIFE is another. I belive someone here can give you a direction to get help. Another suggestion is have someone you trust take over your money control for a while until you get yourself back in line. What happened is happened, you need to lookforward to the future and doing something.

Good luck and best wishes from my heart!

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I never said anything about losing my life, but the feeling of wishing I was dead was definitely there. Its the small bets that build up to the big ones then that gets me in trouble. I goes from being satisfied by betting $10 to betting $100 or more and wishing it was more. I do think that GA or something along those lines would probably help, its just this has been a pretty bad relapse and a general overall shitty feeling to go along with it

What a loser....
"...evil dirty casino", "...governed by evil"
According to your posts you were approximatedly $4,000 ahead and STILL 1,000 ahead now (even after the losses.) And you wanna whine about it. Makes me wonder who REALLY is the evil? I do feel for you, everyone of us has experienced this sometime somewhere somehow. You are ahead and you could have gone home rich but instead you chose to stay and lose your shirts. I don't see why you are making it such a big deal...when you are in fact still WINNING?? And you are blaming the casino??

Methinks tis not the gambling problem or addiction that's your problem, IT IS BLAMING OTHER PEOPLE FOR YOUR FAULTS THAT MAKE YOU A LOSER

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It is true if you do the math, he did not lose much. Calling him a loser may be a bit harsh though.

If you cant control your self, get help. People gamble with out knowing it, coming to work late, stocks, having sex with no condoms with a person you dont know, using crack. If you know you cant control your self get help

It was not much, but it has really put me in quite a bind. i just think its important for me to recognize that in reality, even if I do win in the short term the past has proven time and time again that in the long term failure is almost certain. I do not want my future or my life to be a gamble.

When gamble does some damage to us i wouldn't critisize that it's because of the existance of gamble that I am now where I am.I believe the only thing we would be right to blame is ourselves and nothing else.After all no one force you to gamble.You on your own doing it and am certain that there is a reason of doing it in excess and not just because gamble is addicted,winning is sweet etc. etc.

but how do you cope with something like this and how do you permanently eliminate it from your life?

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I suppose you start coping by eliminating, and you don't "eliminate" by barring yourself from casinos or any other superficial fix. All that does is close the door on the problem, it doesn't remove it.

Eliminating it is very easy. Learn the simple mathematics. Every $100 you put through a slot machine costs you $5 - whether you hit a progressive jackpot or lose 20 $5 pulls straight. Every $100 you put through a blackjack table loses you between about $1 and $5 depending on your skill level. Every wager costs you money, and winning is a short-term illusion. You cannot win at gambling - aside from a select handful of advantage players. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar. The house edge takes care of that.

It isn't sufficient to KNOW that gambling is a mugs' game - everyone knows that; you need to know WHY. Once you learn that (see the basics above), you'll be cured for life.

OK toofast4you
if you really LOST, then you really IS a loser.
although I should have refrained from calling you that out loud

Caruso is right, once you understand the math, you will be cured immediately. I play like crazy online and I make a lot of money off it. However, I truely understand I am making money NOT because I am winning but because I am only keeping them bonuses. (Or maybe not if I get lucky on poker). When I walk into a real landbased casino and sit down and gamble for real, I always feel myself shivering and shaking. It is because I know I will lose there. So I never play onland.

If you are only $500 down, that's nothing, seriously. Try bonus hunting for 1 week you will be right back on track.

OK toofast4you
if you really LOST, then you really IS a loser.
although I should have refrained from calling you that out loud

Caruso is right, once you understand the math, you will be cured immediately. I play like crazy online and I make a lot of money off it. However, I truely understand I am making money NOT because I am winning but because I am only keeping them bonuses. (Or maybe not if I get lucky on poker). When I walk into a real landbased casino and sit down and gamble for real, I always feel myself shivering and shaking. It is because I know I will lose there. So I never play onland.

If you are only $500 down, that's nothing, seriously. Try bonus hunting for 1 week you will be right back on track.

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Sean, your intentions might be good, but toofast has already acknowledged he is a compulsive gambler and so the control you exercise is unlikely within his grasp and would likely lead to further losses. I think he knows what he needs to do and that is stay away from gambling.

not such a great idea given the state of mind that I am in right now. the math is irrelevant, its easy to understand the math and believe me I have done my reasearch on it. However like I said, when you enter into that zone, almost sort of a hypnosis if you will, the logic and the math go out the door.

Really, its been crazy for the last couple weeks, infact probably for the last year or so when I did gamble my losses have been minimal and my winnings have been big, mostly because I knew when to leave. But now it seems like all of that discipline has went out the window, probably because I stuck my neck out too far and panic'ed and tried to get it back

Really, its been crazy for the last couple weeks, infact probably for the last year or so when I did gamble my losses have been minimal and my winnings have been big, mostly because I knew when to leave. But now it seems like all of that discipline has went out the window, probably because I stuck my neck out too far and panic'ed and tried to get it back

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You know you made some bad decisions, we all have, some worse then others. Don't expect much sympathy from fellow gamblers though. I don't think anyone is trying to be harsh on you, its just.......well were all gamblers. For some, and I sure as hell fit nicely into this catogory, gambling is a way of life. We are risk takers, not just at the tables or slot machines either, but risk takers with most aspects of our lives. Take yourself for example. You own your own business, that is a very risky venture. It is much more safe and secure to work for some mega company then it is to strike out on your own. Day in and day out you have to deal with all the things someone else has to deal with in a company. Payroll, vendors, employee's, accounts recieveable, accounts payable, taxes....the list goes on and on. These are all the things that joe sixpack who punches a timeclock never has to worry about. Joe sixpack (for the most part) can't afford, nor would he even try to lay a $1,000 bet on one hand of blackjack. But I would/have. You probably have too.
Nothing ventured nothing gained. Caculated risk is a far cry from casino gamming. If you think,(and you are the ONLY ONE who can judge yourself), you have a gambling problem, then seek help. NOW!!! Odds are you can't beat it on your own.

If you simply made some bad choices, learn from them and don't make them again. You know better then to say the casinos are evil, and some higher power makes you win big, only to lose bigger later. But it is still ok to say so.

I tossed a laptop down the steps one drunken night after losing 7 $500.00 a hand BJ games. I ranted and raved about rigged software, cussed (alot), then realised the laptop was broken beyond repair, and on top of my $3,500 losing streak, I was now out a $1,400 lap top.
I have convinced myself, and sometimes others, the dealer at land based casinos, gets a bonus if they clean you out. I know thats crap, but I did/do it anyway. Slot machines that read your comp card, figure the amount of comps you have spent, and take the approiate amount away from you. I know thats crap too. But I think it anyway.

You got knocked down, get up. Figure out what the hell you are going to do, and do it. Its not the casinos fault, and you know it. But if blaming them helps to get you back on your feet, then by all means they are EVIL.

well, you cant argue against the fact that casinos are designed, from everything from the gaudy carpet to the ever ringing tones of the slotmachines, to psych you out, the fact that they use every factor in their favor to keep you on that table losing money is they key. I will admit at times when I was on top of my game I didn't fall into that trap, but I have fallen into their trap several times. I call it brainwashing, creating the illusion that you can win in the long run, while every tick of the clock is one more tick in their favor. Its a deadly love, when at the BJ table winning big is a powerful feeling, as if being ontop of the world, but an equally negative feeling when losing your shirt. I could take only $50 to the casino, and no other forms of money, and if I lost that money I wouldn't be satisfied, or even betting $10 wouldn't be satisfying enough for me at this point, hence the problem.

But the simple fact that I could beat a 6 deck game, twice in a row pretty much cleaning up was a fluke, when infact normally its a losing game overall, even in the short term there are few winners. It just sucks to have that money that could have done so much good gone, now I gotta do some scrounging and borrowing in order to get back on my feet.

I just don't wanna see this happen to me again in the future, because not only was it a waste of money but a great waste of time too. In the hours spent at the casino I could easiy be making money at my business instead of stressing out over a stupid card game. I am lucky right now all I have to support is myself, when I get a family of my own I damn sure don't wanna be doing stupid stuff like this anymore.

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