Worth of the World

The Author
Capri Jones

Published online
November 1, 2017 7:28pm

Last updated
September 26, 2018 6:52pm

I’m sitting here in my hospital bed. Reading a book my mother gave me a decade go. That time when I knew nothing of others’ sorrows. I was rebellious and drove everyone away. Looking back at my younger years I wish I had been more like my mother. She had three jobs just to keep a roof over heads. She was so hardworking, sweet, and never complained about her exhausting jobs. I didn’t acknowledge her importance at the time and never noticed that she loved me more than herself. If I could say I’m sorry for the years of pain for my mother I would, but it’s too late. After I graduated, I left for college without a single goodbye. As the days turned into years, I learned that I made a mistake. It had been six years since I had seen her face, and I decided to go back to see how she was doing. My best friend Stacey drove me to my old city. We all agreed to meet up at a McDonalds that was two cities over. My mother was going to drive me the rest of the way after we were done eating. After thirty minutes of eating, Stacey drove herself home while my mom and I were on our way to her house. It was quiet half of the time until my mom said something. It was only a few words but they will stay with me forever. “Hey honey?” she said. I looked over, but I didn’t say anything. “You still love me right?” I widened my eyes and as we looked at each other. We were at a red light, so she wasn’t do anything illegal. All of the sudden a car from the other side ran the red light and crashed right into our car, nose to nose. We didn’t have time to react and everything went black. The last thing I remember seeing is my mom reaching out for my hand as blood was dripping from her head. The doctors said I was in a coma for six months while my mom died on her way to the hospital. They said no one thought I would ever wake up, not even Stacey. I woke up only yesterday and the nurse who was sitting in my room screamed. Every doctor gathered to my attention immediately. I asked what happened to my mother, but everyone was reluctant to tell me. That was only yesterday, and I’m feeling better already. Physically anyways. I’m reading this book for the first time since I slapped it out of my mom’s hands the first time she tried to give it to me. This book she gave me is titled, “The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas,” I understand why she bought it for me. It’s a good book and the message of it could have fixed me a long time ago. She wrote something in it. It says, “Let something or someone in and help you realize there is more than just your little utopian world.” I cry as I’m reading it and I weep to the stars. I’m hoping for your presence in heaven and for you to live on. You are my star, my heart, and my love. You are my whole, my life, and my world. I’ve lost my mother and my life. I should have never left her for all of these years. The nurse enters into my room. “Excuse me,” says the nurse. “Are you alright.” I look up at her with three quiet and slow breaths. “No, my world is gone,” I say as she looks at me with concern. “Nothing is worth more than her, no amount of money, no amount of time, and no amount of love will ever replace her.” “What do you mean?” she says. “You don’t get it,” I look up at her. “let me give you some advice.” She looked at me at me weird but sat down. “Never let go of someone you love, sometimes you can lose them before you get to apologize.” She started to cry. Suddenly a teenage girl walked in. “I heard what you said.” She looked over at the nurse, “I am sorry mother, I should take that advice.” Her mother smiled and said, “Yeah, that’s the worth of the world.”