Friday, January 02, 2015

Same, Same, Same? Shame, Shame, Shame!

The title of this post is the sentiment expressed by Rabbi
Eliyahu Safran at the OU website. He is talking about the cookie cutter Judaism
that has become an integral part of the Charedi world.

That Chasidim are virtual clones of
each other in the manner of dress, the way they speak, and in fealty to their Rebbe is fairly obvious even to the casual observer. Uniformity is the ideal in many Chasidic communities. In some cases the slightest deviation can bring severe
consequences. The Chasidic village of
New Square is notorious for this.

Recall the incident that got one member
torched by an overly zealous young Chasid attached to the Skverer Rebbe. Why was he torched? Beause he dared to try and set up a
separate Minyan for a hospitalized friend. While no one there condoned that
act, it was surely motivated by the Rebbe’s zero tolerance policy to deviation.

But this sameness is not only found in the Chasidic world. It is now part and parcel of the non Chasidic
Charedi Yeshiva world, too. The Chasidim have their uniforms And the Yeshiva world has theirs. The uniform of black fedoras, black velvet Yarmulkes, black
suits and white shirts is now the de-rigueur fashion trend. One will not see a blue shirt in
sight anywhere among them. Not even a grey hat.

It’s all about sameness. Looking the part, it seems, is now more important than being the part. I wish their sartorial choices were the only area where sameness takes place. But that is merely a symptom of a deeper
sameness that is expected of the young Charedi Yeshiva student today.

Gone is the
day when there was independent thinking. The only time a mind can be used to its fullest potential is when
learning Gemarah and its commentaries. Then a a brilliant mind can shine. But when
it comes to thinking for oneself outside of that limitation, very few do. It is
almost at the point where Roshei Yeshiva are treated like Chasidic Rebbes. No
one dares to move in those communities it seems without asking their
Roshei Yeshiva first. Even in the most insignificant matters in some cases.

The result is there in plain sight for all to see. And it is painful to look at. People with
all kinds of potential are prevented from pursuing it. Instead today's Roshei Yeshiva encourage their charges to direct all of their energy into the Beis
HaMedrash.

Now it is true that there are exceptions. But they pay a
price. They are seen as 2nd
class citizens by their peers. Women in those communities are taught
that those who seek to express that potential and leave the Beis Hamdrash are not
worthy enough to date, let alone marry.

Those who are psychologically pressured to suppress their
natural talents and instead tough it out in the Beis HaMedrash are ill prepared to
pursue those areas later in life. Even though some overcome those disadvantages,
many don’t. Of those that don’t many remain impoverished
and often become quite resentful of the hand they were dealt by their world’s lack
of diversity. And instead encouraged to be a clone of peers.

Rabbi Safran makes these point quite cogently in his article. Here are some excerpts:

Yaakov understood that each person is unique and
he expressed that understanding when he bestowed upon his sons his many
blessings. Not only was each bracha unique, but in
most brachos he compared his sons to various beasts of the field. Different blessings. Different
beasts of the fields.

In considering Yaakov’s blessings, Rav Yosef Dov
Soloveitchik highlights the uniqueness of each animal, explaining that, “each
animal has a unique capability.” Even amongst the beasts of the field, there is
diversity. Each to its task. Even animals show diversity and uniqueness.

Lehavdil! How much more therefore, do people! And yet,
so often, we simply lump all our children, our students, even entire
communities,together as if they are monolithic; a single entity. What’s more,
we impose identical goals and aspirations upon each and every one! Such behavior
is cruel, not to mention counterproductive and foolish.

Yet, we pursue
“sameness” with daunting vigor. In some communities, where appearance is
strictly controlled, there seems to be the sense that if we control the
“outside” we control the “inside”. These communities seek to create a sameness
which renders each soul almost indistinguishable from the other. Same hat. Same
clothes. Same curriculum. Same Jew. Same, same, same! More correctly, shame, shame, shame!

Perhaps that is changing. Perhaps there is now a critical mass
of unhappy Charedim seeking to change there sameness into uniqueness. I believe that this is what God intends of
all of us. We are to seek our fullest potential in serving God. And no two
people are alike. As Rabbi Safran notes:

In her December 17th article in Mishpacha, Barbara
Bensoussan highlights the understanding of Rabbi Doniel Frank, a Monsey-based
therapist who has made it his mission to return personal integrity to the
community or, in my words, give dignity and awareness to the uniqueness of each
individual in the community.

Like many, he sees a burgeoning Jewish community that is
graced with many blessings but also beset by number of crises, among them,
“…older singles, broken engagements, early divorces, unhappy marriages,
disaffected adolescents, addictive behaviors, parnassah issues… and
the list goes on.”

While these issues may seem disparate and unrelated, Rabbi
Frank sees them as symptomatic of a more fundamental issue, one that is deeply
related to the need for individuals to be seen as, recognized for and dignified
by their uniqueness and individuality, even as they are embraced as members of
the community.

I’m sure there will be resistance to the 'Doniel Franks' of
the world. That Charedi leaders cannot abide change of any kind is more than
evident in Israel where resitance to even the slightest alteration in their high school curricula is called Shmad. Unfortunately, many American
Charedi leaders look Eastward for guidance and try to emulate it. This has
resulted in more sameness than ever before as more and more high schools
in cities like Lakewood are rejecting secular studies entirely.

Who will win this battle? Hard to say. Will Charedim continue along the Chasdic path of fealty to its religious leader in
all matters? Or - with the help of a Doniel Frank - will the grass
roots rise up and create a new Charedi
world where individuality replaces sameness? I hope it’s the latter.

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About Me

My outlook on Judaism is based mostly on the teachings of my primary Rebbe, Rabbi Aaron Soloveichik from whom I received my rabbinic ordination. It is also based on a search for spiritual truth. Among the various sources that put me on the right path, two great philosophic works stand out: “Halakhic Man” and “Lonely Man of Faith” authored by the pre-eminent Jewish philosopher and theologian, Rabbi, Dr. Joseph B. Soloveitchik. Of great significance is Rabbi, Dr. Norman Lamm's conceptualization and models of Torah U’Mada and Dr. Eliezer Berkovits who introduced me to the world of philosophic thought. Among my early influences were two pioneers of American Elementary Torah Chinuch, Rabbis Shmuel Kaufman and Yaakov Levi. The Yeshivos I attended were Yeshivas Telshe for early high school and more significantly, the Hebrew Theological College where for a period of ten years, my Rebbeim included such great Rabbinic figures as Rabbis Mordechai Rogov, Shmaryahu Meltzer, Yaakov Perlow, Herzl Kaplan, and Selig Starr. I also attended Roosevelt University where I received my Bachelor's Degree - majoring in Psychology.