Friday, May 9, 2014

INDYCAR: If Technology is Verizon's name, then why do your Qualifying webcasts SUCK!

URGH!!!

Wasn't it Verizon who came up with the snappy
slogan "Can You Hear me Now?"

As I'd planned upon putting an A-L-L
Sunshine, Smiles, Rainbows "N Bunnies spin to this piece; Oh Wait! That's
right I tried listening to another HORRIFIC Indycar.com
"Live" Fast Six Shootout Qualie' session, this time from thee
Barber's, that Oh So Beautiful racetrack in Birmingham, Alabama., as apparently
somebody SHEARED Zed Internetz connection..

Logging onto Indycar.com at 11:55AM Pacific,
OH SHIT! Here we go again, as it felt like there were 69 cutouts between the start
to the 6min mark of Group-1! (Session-1) Then for humour, I decided to
PAINFULLY listen 'N count

howmanytimes

the

live

broadcastcutout...

FUCK!

I gave up after counting to the number23; WTF? I
mean if Verizon's a "Game Changer" and they're leading the technology
revolution in Indy Cars, then HOLY ELECTRICAL GREMLINS BATMAN!!! As why in thee
HE-LL does this occur each time I try listening to a qualifying session? I mean
this unbelievable BUNGLING makes me think of how the US Government couldn't
build a functioning "Affordable" Care Act enrollment website; SPEW!

Thought I'd try hanging into Group-2 (Session-1)
of the Barber qualifying show, but after Dave First's interview with
"S-Squared," aka Sebastian
Saavedra cut OUT 5-times, not to mention the skipping
'N jumping of Paul Page, once again I gave UP!

So I guess I'll have to wait until 9:30
FREAKIN' PM (Pacific) to watch my very first "Peacock-lite" (NBCSN)
Qualie' show of the year - as NO idea if Mr. Chrome Horn (Paul Tracy) is part
of the broadcast crew?

As You're gonna learn to LUV' ELP! NO, not
Electric Light Orchestra but, English Premiere League; Y'all know what Yuhs
Yanks' call Soccer... I means if weeze spents (reputedly) $256 MILLION for
3yrs, (reportedly 4-times MORE than FOX's previous contract) then you're DAMN
Tootin' gonna get exposed to I-T every day we see fit! And did we mention yet
how 'RASSCAR's coming to the NBC Networks in 2015; BARF!

And although the Avalanche won the game with
an OT goal just 3:27 into the extra period, the IndyCar show was delayed a
further 23mins until thy top of the hour, nee 10PM Pacific which mean Y'all on
the East Coast had to wait 'til One FREAKIN' AM just to see 'DJ WillyP (Will
Power) capture his third Pole at BMS...

As how in thee HELL will IndyCar ever pull
its ABYSMAL ratings out of the gutter if the network continuously treats I-T as
its Red-headed Step-Seester? Like would they pre-empt RASSCAR...

Adding insult to
injury was the multiple airings during the Qualie' show for Indycar.com -
including "Live Timing & Scoring;" Oh Never Mind!

Originally I'd planned upon commenting, like
others how refreshing ABC's season opening St Pete race broadcast was, as Allen Bestwick
definitely improved the show, as the entire episode seemed to be much more
lively and Eddie Cheever and Scott "Somonex" Goodyear both appeared
to be bright-eyed 'N bushy-tail, along with mostly coherent thoughts, even if I
cannot say that the race was a thriller...

Then I missed Long Beach in favour of
attending the MotoGP race at COTA, nee Circuit Of The Americas, but was definitely
GEEKED when Claudio' read to me that P1 was the number 20, not #12 as I
predicted. As I enjoyed listening to the Speed Freaks interview with Mike
"Ice-Ice, Baby!" Conway upon my return...

Thus, now I'm just Uh-waitin' the Barber
IndyCar race on NBCSN, in order to try comparing & contrasting the two
networks broadcast's, albeit St Pete seems a zillion light yearsago... While it's funny; Ha-Ha NOT! How NBCSN
cannot devote an extra half-hour to cover the entire tape delayed Qualie' shows
but instead can bore us into insomnia with its 50+ minute Pre-race preambles;
YAWN!

Obviously Mother Nature decided to rain upon
duh Peacock's parade, yet I must say that NBCSN handled the Mega Delay very
well indeed, as I was happy that "Professor B,"aka Jon Beekhuis was on hand, along
with Kelli Stavast who
did a very good job and left me wondering why NBCSN dumped
"LyndieCar" (Lindy Thaxton) all those years ago?

As NBCSN's flexibility was refreshing, as how
many times have we all collectively moaned over the Networks switching an
IndyCar race to some obscure TV channel almost NOBODY has access to, or just
dumping the program entirely to make way for some Women's Golf Game; can Y'all
say ABC!

As now it's time for ABC's 2hrCOMMERCIAL; Err Promo' to wind us A-L-L up over
the impending stupendous Indy 500 broadcast, as its definitely a commercial, as
in lining Starship HC's (Hulman & Co's) pockets; Oh wait a My-nute', that's
right, I forgot its for the Fans; BLARNEY!

Hmm? 5,000-7,000 attendees at last year's
Opening Day ceremonies on Mother's Day; Uhm? Where's duh Cars? Oh that's right,
Opening Day will still be on Sunday for the Oval which means it'll be the
"Cherry-on-Top!"

Since there'll at least be25-cars On-track at once running for more
than 5mins apiece during the vaunted "Grand Prix," things should be
better at Mother Speedway this weekend, but; I'm really FROTHED over all of
this BULLSHIT
about ABC's "Extended" coverage... As Earth to ABC or whomever the
"Communicators" of these Buzzwords are. Two-hours of highlighted TV
coverage after having your rival network having aired 6hrs-plus daily coverage
of previous qualifying weekends does NOT compute into extended coverage!

And I'm sure it'll be a somewhat
good show, or at least I hope it is, as I for one will NOT watch any of the ahem
2hr "Grand Prix" road show Hypefest promoting duh GURR-REATEST
Spectale in Motor Racing... As I'd rather be at a concert like Arcade Fire at
COTA's 360 Amphitheatre, oh wait, that's right! Almost forgot 'bout that Justin
Alexander; Err Jason Aldean Dude;
YEEHAW!

Guess I'd better slither on back to my tent in the
Glamping section, after I get my second Tenderloin sandwich, Yuhs know the
second one's FREE in honour of IMSes Twofer' - where Yuhs alls get the second
Tenderloin FREE after buyin' duh first one which is part of Mother Speedway's
two races in May promotion; Oh Never Mind!