Muslim Parenting–Choosing Friends for your Child

With family comes responsibility. Of which, guiding your children through life will be one.

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from the book Raising Children in Light of the Qur’aan and Sunnah

From the things in which there is no doubt is that a friend has a profound effect on an individual – whether positive or negative. Sufficient to clarify this point is the statement of the Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when he said: “The example of the righteous companion and the evil companion is like that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith.” [Reported by Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]

The Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) also said: “A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let each of you look into whom he takes as a close friend.” [Reported by Abu Dawood]

Therefore, O father [mother], it is incumbent upon you to look for a good friend and a sincere companion for your child before he chooses one on his own, for he may choose the wrong ones and then grow attached to them, after which it will be hard for you to separate them.

There are many accounts, too numerous to be recorded, in which children were raised in good environments and in conservative households but ended up mixing with bad companions on the pretext that they were going on a trip or an outing with them or using the excuse that they wanted to play with them or have fun with them or study with them. And the end result of this was that they had a negative effect on them.

In these days it is extremely difficult for a father to raise his child in exclusion of friends. Trials and temptations constantly surround the youth from all directions.

Bad friends can either be people who are engulfed in their desires or in misconceptions. If they are those who are given into whims and desires, they will lead your child towards mischief and a digression from good character. As for those who follow misconceptions, they will lead your child towards innovations and opposing the guidance of the pious predecessors (Salaf as-Saalih). Perhaps he may even fall into the acts of declaring Muslims disbelievers and innovators. This particularly applies to the members of those methodologies that are foreign to this country (i.e. Saudi Arabia), as has occurred to some of our youth, may Allaah guide them and return them back to the truth.

In conclusion, I ask Allaah to rectify for all of us our intentions and offspring, and that He forgive our parents, granting them the best of rewards on our behalf. I ask Allaah to assist us in being dutiful to them during their lives as well as after their deaths.

I also ask Allaah to aid us in raising our children upon the Qur’aan and the Sunnah and to make them righteous offspring and an enjoyment to our eyes in this life by, through their uprightness, and after death, through their righteous deeds.

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2 thoughts on “Muslim Parenting–Choosing Friends for your Child”

MashaAllaah. I really like this post! It is important for people to choose good friends for their children and for themselves too. I would love to see more posts about choosing good friends for your children. ~*~ Jazakillaahu Khayr ~*~

TV - Yes or No? [PDF] The Permanent Committee of Scholars have stated (in a fatwa) that the television is an instrument that in and of itself has no ruling regarding it; rather, the ruling applies to its use -- Dr. Saleh as-Saleh (rahimahullaah)