Occupy L.A. Is Planning Insane, Captain Planet-Esque 'Four Winds' Protest for May Day

With their powers combined, "cars and bikes, occupiers and unions, community orgs and organic communities" will be descending upon the downtown L.A. financial district from all sides this May Day.

May 1 is a traditional day of action for labor unions, so Occupy Los Angeles (and their fellow bankster-haters around the country) will apparently be using the date as a spring resurgence...

... for the dwindling OWS presence.

If you thought the Occupy message was muddled before, wait until you see the array of characters clogging up traffic throughout downtown L.A. from sun-up to sundown tomorrow.

(But don't start whining to us from your skyscraper, because we're of the firm belief Occupy's all-encompassing angst with the State of the Union is what makes it great. "Causeless"? These freedom fighters have more causes than you'll have in a lifetime. Talk to them! You'll learn something! But if you're still dead set on hindering the most exciting thing to happen to America since 1967, go start a Tumblr or something. Rant complete.)

Here's their insane, Captain Planet-esque plan to "shut down the flow of capital while addressing the 99%'s major grievances":

For May 1st, 2012 Occupy Los Angeles is organizing around a "4 Winds" People's Power Car and Bike Caravan through the urban sprawl of Los Angeles that will culminate in Direct Action in and around the Financial District of downtown LA. ...

These 4 caravans, beginning in the late morning, coming from the North, South, East & West, will ... stop at flashpoints along the way. Flash occupations, food giveaways, and other direct actions targeting the foreclosure crisis and police brutality will be undertaken at these flashpoints on our slow, city-paralyzing, carnival-esque descent into the center of the city.

OK, so their "carnival" is our Captain Planet. Either way, it'll be a nice 'n' raucous spectacle for those of us still going through Coachella or CicLAvia withdrawals, and another opportunity for the LAPD to prove how much cop-on-protester race relations have improved since the May Day melee of 2007. (Tomorrow will be the melee's fifth anniversary! Not to mention the 20th anniversary of the L.A. Riots' famous third day).

Here, Occupy Los Angeles maps out the route and activities for West Wind, North Wind, East Wind and South Wind. Pick your poison -- from a "Let them eat cupcakes!" rally on Rodeo Drive to a Black Panther memorial at 41st and Central.

More for the purposes of avoidance, L.A. City Fire Department officials have likewise drawn up a map of all the planned rallies. That they know of, anyway. Click to enlarge:

LAFD

So you really have no excuse not to pay attention -- whether from the front lines, your stop-and-go commute or your skyscraper bay-view.