Monday, March 28, 2011

I love seeing things last, because its like a walk down miserable memory lane. I remember doing these at my job downtown about five years ago and instead of cutting myself and my desk out of misery, I would make these dumb stickers instead.

This is what happens when chalkboards need to be updated but no upcoming beers are on deck. Just remind people that Goose Island is made in Chicago for now, well at least at the moment I did this a week ago...er, yeah.

After a most ridiculous attempt at jogging outdoors in the cold, I decided a tasty bloody mary was in order. I've heard amazing things about the delicious libation over at the Twisted Spoke. You'll never guess what kind of bar its supposed to be.

Holy crap! There's mothafuckin shredded parm on this bitch! It's like a cluster fuck of sodium and I didn't complain one single bit.

They also boast a very impressive draft and bottle beer list. They had the KBS tapped here along with some other heavy hitters. Set the Delorian to "oh shit."

They have a Manhattan for $125. Anyone drinking that hopefully got a handie under the bar or a fucking punch to the face.

Friend from out of town number one: Adam Leaders, fresh in from Costa Rica with no visible tan. That expression on his face says it all - "you're gonna shit your pants."

Jake and Karen were there to represent as we continued to drink...I didn't take a picture of the shot or the dirty martini I had...hope you're keeping count! Don't forget the bloody mary.

Founder's Double Trouble...almost 10% abv on an IPA! WHAT THE HELL? Had two of these not because I'm not a douche hole, but because its a damn tasty beer.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO, I didn't take any of the pictures of us going to check out Intel spin over at Butterfly Social at 8pm on a Thursday. I think there was a shot involved, pizza, and a few beers there and then Jake remembered that he had to spin over at Bonny's, right next to the Whistler which is where this picture was taken. Tony Trimm had a beat set that I was late to, so he punished me with Korean guilt and a shot of Jameson. We also replaced a flat tire, started a fight with a gangbanger and somehow made it home in one piece. It reminded me of a "partying" montage from a sitcom or movie. I will pay for this.

The next morning and all through my work shift would prove to be one of the hardest days I would dredge through. It was absolutely terrible. My hangover would fade away 8 hours later after multiple bottles of water, coconut water, pizza, potato chips, salad, Indian food, and a 30 minute nap. We had an employee bball tournament. It smelled like my sweaty taint in this gym.

When you work at a store with almost 500 employees, you're going to end up with a lot of orange cones playing the court. This was absolutely the worst bball tournament I've ever seen. Falling, hacking, fouling, missing, falling, falling, and did I mention falling? I've never seen so many balls flying and missing the hole in all of my life and I look at a lot of terrible porn. To our credit, we beat the South Loop store that had a dude with a bulls logo shaved into his head...yeah.

Time travel to Rodan where friend from out of town number two is: Jose G. from LA. The usual happened, weird Euro's dancin with a weirder lookin Asian and this - What is the obsession with white girls and dancing with their arms up? What can be worse? Bunny ears to the shadow of your dancing partner. Boo to your melted crayon dress. I would leave soon after so I can catch the bus to go back home. One thing about living where I do, I always have an excuse to leave early from anywhere to get home via public transportation. My midnight snack ended up being two bananas, two oranges, and a bag of chips. VIVA!!!!

The next day was our annual employee art show where Sam and I along with the marketing team would display and sell art work that our illustrious employees have created for "charity." I don't even want to relive this nightmare of egos and weird situations with fellow co - workers and what they thought this art show for CHARITY at a GROCERY STORE was supposed to be for them. Instead, here is the live art piece that Blutt did.

Here's CZR PRZ being productive after having three Allagash XXX beer. I won't judge but he told me the inspiration for this piece was his waterfall back hair leading to his ass.

I apparently was thinking about a phallic cavity seeking yellow stick. Organizing, answering questions, dealing with co - workers, keeping up with bids, and helping out with the music act on stage, I was a little distracted to say the least. In the midst of all this, I didn't get to document one of the nicest people and musical talent that is Hashbrown.

After stressfully leaving work, it was time to surprise Jose G. and his wife Kim to a surprise wedding party with his Chicago buds outdoors. Sang has a pretty awesome friend that donated her outdoor bonfire space for the occasion. This is the humble start.

FUCK YEAH! We burned everything and anything we could. You could tell who was what ethnicity because once fire was introduced, everyone smelled like tortillas, fried rice, and hotdogs.

Here is Intel giving an impromptu wedding toast. It was a great night of watching shit burn and just hangin.

BURN MOTHAFUCKA BURN!!! I fucking love fire and burning shit. As I was watching things burn however, I figured that being burned alive would absolutely be the worse way to die. I can see why the Kreug (Freddie Kreuger and I are boys) was so angry.

Flashback of some art I've done. Yay.

I was a little light on photos this entry and I do apologize for that. It's been an absolutely hellish week at work with really no time to think and going from one thing to another. As we get closer and closer to warm weather though, you know shit will start popping off. So bear with me until then! See you next week.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Started the week with seeing the fam and having my nephew give me a hard Zoolander look complete with faux hawk.

PROFILE SHOT! The kid is a natural. Too bad you still poop the pants.

Ran a Surf and Turf class over at the Whole and had buddy Paul help me out in the kitchen to a 25 person class. We then went to get an after shift drink where the subject of webbed feet came up and soon enough a sock and a shoe came off and this disgusting toe Kit Kat was shown. He then soon informed me that webbed toes does not help him swim faster nor better than anyone else. Dag.

The fellas over at Nerd City invited good friend Joey Potts and I to paint at their booth at the annual C2E2 at McCormick place. Fellow nerd/sport enthusiast/hater Sam Alcaraz decided to tag along and see what this shit is all about. This is going to be a long day.

So upon entering, this is the first thing we see. Those combat boots scream child molester or murderer.

The costume in the front would suggest that he or she is indeed a child molesting murderer.

Finally find the Nerd City Booth where painting, drinking, and a bunch of sitting around will happen.

So the convention has a ton of comic book vendors, Magic card gatherers, illustrators, toys, candy, fatties, uglies, video games, and B movie sci fi stars all meld under one roof. This is the first time a lot of the attendees are seeing sunlight.

Super girl was in attendance, too bad she's a mother of four, lives in Braidwood and is dating a fluorescent Moby.

These maybe 2 of 10 girls that were in attendance. And its still hard to tell whether or not they are girls.

I'm not going to hate on old school Ghostbusters. Especially when the mothafucka has every single tool you need to catch them ghostface son.

Here's Sam dressed up in his best Crusty outfit reading a graphic novel. This bunny only had one thing in mind...time to get my fuck on.

I didn't want to know whether or not there was a baby under there...whether there was or not, this is a disturbing image and we all know that Captain America is white...DUH?!

Photo of the day was captured by Sam. He actually kidnapped this poor kid where Sam then pulled out a costume out of his bag and made him pose like this. I kid...this is Sam.

Man Skeletor must be on that Hollywood Diet cause I remember dude being way more muscular.

Every slot had different dice for every single board game possible, except for one - the game where you move out of your parents house and get a job and finally touch a boob.

Sam did a lot of exploring while Joey and I painted and swore that there was this epic sword booth with all kinds of crazy shit. After about 15 minutes of looking around, we settled on this booth being semi epic. You would think they could get better signage for swords that have all kinds of shit on it. All I was looking for was the inevitable nacho cheese stain on the sign. Scary thing is that this was one of at least seven booths that sold "fantasy" swords.

It was a vast array of randomness and all kinds of people. I thought it was awesome that people have to take the stairs to get food. Sneaking in some kind of exercise is genious!

I have no idea who or what this is. I just kept thinking of a gay jouster from the future.

Cool floor chalkboard artist on his way to illustrating the Green Lantern. You have no idea how much I wish I had a water gun.

When did Godzilla start wearing glasses?

Yes, this is Chun Li. Not a bad costume except for her weird looking non costumed BF who kept leering at people taking photos of his Chun Gonzalez GF.

Joey and I finished our collab painting entitled "Red Skull." Yes, we are referring to Captain America. Yes I am a nerd and proud of it.

Good lord. This just made me realize how awkward superheroes would look if they really existed. Mooseknuckle and Camel Toe city.

Nerd City hosts the best afterparty for C2E2 as evidenced by the epic party they had last year at the Double Door. This year's victim would be Reggies over in the South Loop. I had the honor of being one of the DJ's for the afterparty. Live music acts included School of Rock, Valora, Boobs and Goombas, and Live Karaoke.

Although hearing children rock out to classics about sex, drugs, and rock and roll felt a little wrong to me. I just put my headphones on at this point and just rocked out to porno on my computer.

Boobs and Goombas are a burlesque show in the likes of pin up style tease shows. As you can see, Mario is already showing off her massive camel toe.

"Toad" ended up doing a little dance and show but, I figured y'all have seen boobs before or have access to see boobs so I'll spare yah.

So the live band karaoke started and fucking Wolverine hit the stage. Claws out and all singing Elvis. Hm.

Always happens...two way drunk white dudes have to sing some anthem song and try to get everyone into it. There were like ten people just swaying back and forth from partying and drinking. I was packing up equipment at this time wondering what I was going to eat for dinner.

Funny story about Reggies. I got arrested on the rooftop painting illegally before they opened and the cops wanted the property owner to press charges. He refused and ended up hiring me and a buddy to paint all over the venue inside and out. I have mad love for Reggies for not making me do swap.

Oh, did I mention that I had work the next day? The only good thing that came of this was the leftover KBS from this year on tap. This is basically the last cup we had at work.

Stopped at Tom's house for a rare beer tasting where I figured I'd make some proteins and feed the drunks. Dry aged steak anyone?

I basically fucked both these birds with lemon wedges, garlic and fresh thyme. Pretty tender, moist, and delicious...I know, that's what she said.

Just a few of many that were drunk that night. These guys represent with the themes. If they say rare, then rare it shall be.

Went to Butterfly Social Club to check out the homie DJ Element fucking murder it per usual on the turntables. Dude is brown and from Phoenix. Way good at his job and is a gas to hang with. Always a pleasure to see people from warm climates come to Chicago. It makes me sadistically happy.

STAINER!!! This one is over five years old. I'm still a child inside and these kinds of things make me happy.

Time to clean my ass and my house.

Thanks to the dudes Nerd City, Joey Potts, Sam Alcaraz, for making C2E2 memorable again. The Nerd City guys work their ass off and put on one hell of a show. Work is still getting more and more hectic so I will try my best to continue posting once a week. I love feedback! So dont be shy about posting a comment and if you don't feel like letting the public read, then send me an email. Revisecmw@gmail.com