Brandon Morrow lost the no-hitter but pitched as well as any pitcher this year. 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 Walks and 17 Ks. Though not everyone was impressed. When reached for comment after the game, Adam Lind said, “If you gave me 27 outs, I could strike out 17 times.” Did Morrow go near-no-no vs. the Rays on sheer will or does he have this pedigree? Is he Edwin Jackson no-no or is he Garza no-no? I’d put him in the 2nd phat camp. The only thing holding Morrow back from ace territory is the walks. At 26, there’s time to fix that. Potatoes to chips, he’s only 26 years old and he LEADS (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) the major leagues for starters in K-rate. You think I’m gonna be excited about drafting him next year? Rhetorical! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Vernon Wells – Day-to-day with a dislocated toe. I’ve dislocated my car keys before and sometimes I’ll dislocate one sock from a pair, but to dislocate a toe is pretty scary.

J.P. Arencibia – 4-for-5 with 2 homers in his first game. Maybe we can fix Mr. Arencibia up with Momma Molina and get ourselves some more Arencibias.

Omar Infante – 1-for-4 with a home run. His fantasy value is infantesimal, but he does lead the majors in average the last 30 days.

Takashi Saito – Got the save because Billy Wagner worked the last three days. In that way Wagner’s like my car, it’s good for about three days then I have to go to my mechanic.

Kevin Slowey – His sore elbow is causing his next start to get pushed back a few days. Figures it happens just when he started pitching well. Why don’t you just take my pea puree while you’re at it?

Matt LaPorta – 3-for-4 and his second homer in 3 games. We’ve had a few false starts from LaPorta this year where it looked like he was about to get hot. Might finally be there now. And that’s me lukewarmly recommending LaPorta!

Chris Carter – Was called up yesterday. With Daric Barton nursing shoulder spasms, Carter will see the bulk of the time at 1st base. Carter was #9 on the top 50 prospects for fantasy baseball. Hit 27 homers with a .262 average in Triple-A this year while driving in 89 RBIs. He can be Ryan Howard in a year or two. If Morrow didn’t pitch the game of the season, Carter would’ve been your lead for today’s roundup. He’s a must grab in keepers and AL-Only leagues, though I imagine he’s gone already. In mixed leagues, I’d grab him if I needed help at my corner infidel spot. I expect he’ll give you what Stanton’s been giving you minus the steals (power, low average), but there’s upside for more.

Andrew Bailey – Will need at least another week. Oh, and Wuertz got another save yesterday.

Angel Pagan – 2-for-4 with two steals to bring his total to 26. Nice that at least someone is stealing on the Mets. Reyes, my sarcasm is directed towards you. If you’re not Jose Reyes you can skip ahead, this is for him. Not sure what’s going on, but you look so tentative on the base paths. You wait until the 4th or 5th pitch of ABs to steal and, by point, the hitter is either striking out or fouling the ball off. Run on the first pitch! Now let’s do our 17 step handshake.

Rick Porcello – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks. For the person who is going to ask, no, I still don’t like Porcello. I promise December Grey will reevaluate.

Jack Wilson – Fractured his right hand in a slip in the bathroom as he put the oofa in loofah.

Trevor Hoffman – Took longer than I thought it would, but the Brewers are finally saying Hoffman and Axford will share closing duties. If you’re an Axford owner, hope it doesn’t take Hoffman as many opportunities for his 600th as it took A-Rod.

Jeremy Hellickson – Wade Davis and Jeff Niemann are both experiencing shoulder tightness and Hellickson is being held out of his Triple-A start on Tuesday in case the Rays need him. I’d grab Hellickson now because I doubt both pitchers will be pushed with shoulder issues.

Carlos Gonzalez – 4-for-5, 2 Runs, 3 RBIs with his 25th homer and 18th steal. CarGo’s the King of the Slam & Legs. I think he’s officially moving into overrated territory for 2011.

Pedro Alvarez – On Saturday, he hit his third homer in the last five games. He now has 10 homers in 167 ABs. Since the royal we are on the topic of 2011, I think I know who I’m ending up with next year when I punt 3rd base.

Alfredo Simon – Got the save as he gave up two runs. Buck Showalter, if this is the stamp you’re putting on the O’s, it’s making you look Sally Draper crazy.

Felix Pie – 1-for-4 with a homer. This week he also has 2 steals while hitting near-.350. Could be a source of light power and light speed. He’s like a poor man’s Big FraGu.

Jason Vargas – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks and has a 3.12 ERA on the year. His K:BB and K-rate is far from inspiring but he gets the Indians next time out. Seems like a decent H2H gamble (no relation to Rudy).

Chone Figgins – 2-for-3 with his 3rd steal this week. Holy douchetards, Figgy is finally hitting (over .450 in the last week).

Everth Cabrera – 3-for-4, when I saw he had three hits, I immediately thought to myself, has he done that yet this year? He had. On the 2nd day of the season. Ah fanabla…

Chris Coghlan – Done for the year with surgery to repair the injury that he sustained while smashing a cream pie in Wes Helms’ face. Coghlan vowed that next time he will just squeeze his lapel flower and squirt Helms with water.

Leo Nunez – Edwin Rodriguez, the Marlins manager, said that if Nunez doesn’t cut out blowing saves, he’s turning to a closer by committee. When Edwin said it, he made the Full House ‘cut it out’ hand motion. I grabbed Clay Hensley. Afterwards, I thought to myself, did I really just pick up Clay Hensley?

Gordon Beckham – Out with a sore groin. Ozzie said, “I don’t think it’s that bad. I don’t know if he was diving for the ball, or it was just a tight groin. We’ll go by ears how he feels.” I think Ozzie’s confusing seashells with groins.

Angel Sanchez – Hitting .500 over the last week. When I was looking at hitters to pickup for today’s short schedule, I looked at Angel Sanchez for a long time, but I got William Shatner finger and I….just…couldn’t….pick…him…up.

Did I already miss the time when I was supposed to give up on Kung Fu Panda? I keep waiting for him to give me either a respectable average or some counting stats, but I think they’re not coming unless he starts counting calories. Anyhow, Headley, Gaby, Gordon, LaPorta and now Carter are all available at CI. Should I drop Panda for one of them?

Would you rather have Padilla, Myers or Morrow for the rest of the year? Seems like Padilla might be the safest bet to be kind to my ratios while having a decent shot at wins. If Morrow has any more starts against the Rays, though. . .

@anyone Ernesto Frieri RP from the Friars has 16 Ks and 5 Holds through 8.2 IP with no ER and 0.58 WHIP. Is there something in the making here?
Also, just after I’m told Bruce is a total scrub, he goes and has a good game. *confused*

I think I am done getting bitchslapped in my abusive relationship with Clayton Richard. He was fine at the beginning of the season, but now I fear when he comes up for his start day. Bench him and possibly miss out on a win or more likely start him and get burned badly like this past weekend.

It’s hard enough owning DLR and Jonathan Sanchez and figuring out whether their good side is going to pitch. So, is it the right move in your opinion to drop Richard at this point? Watching someone like Morrow and what he just did, even though it was a one time thing, makes me want to look elsewhere. Morrow is available, is he worth picking up?

my opponent is looking at 8 starts, i’m looking at only 6 with lester or 5 with myers.

ordinarily i say always start your studs, but lester has been kinda ordinary lately and this is the worst pair of matchups a pitcher can have in baseball imo. and since i’m already battling an uphill battle in counting stats this week, do i just start myers and hope for the ratios?

@quimmy: eh, if you make the deal at least you knew going into it you picked up the superior fantasy player. if he goes on a 1.5 month long slump to end the season, then so be it, but that’s unlikely. stop sticking your toes in the water and dive in already.

Grey I have Phillips, Hill, Aramis, Young, Stewart, Prado for 2B and 3B (no MI/CI). Clearly I do not need 6 guys for those 2 positions but I have a hard time letting them go. Who, if any, can I drop to pickup some spot starts? Thanks!

Jack Wilson fractured the fifth metacarpal in his right hand while falling in his bathroom on Sunday.

The real story – Jack Wilson invited his brother Josh Wilson over for a few Strawberry Daiquiris and Josh went to the bathroom and pee all over the floor (he missed the bowl) then Jack went in next and slipped on his Pee and hurt himself – I think this action was Premeditated so Josh could get his starting job

Grey,
Loved the Top Chef reference (I think)…
Question for this short schedule day:
Who of these guys would you pick up for just today?
LaRoche, Chipper, Torres, PacMan, SeanRod, Alexei
Don’t need any specific stat, so best overall box score at the end of the day would work.
Thanks!

Grey, what are your thoughts on Niese going forward in a 12-team league? He gets the Rockies in Metco next start. He’s basically my 6th or 7th SP right now. Would you drop him to get off-day Felix Pie into the lineup just for today?

your one article said you were going to have Chacin in your Buy/Sell but he wasnt. I am guessing he’s a buy for you. He was offered to me in a deal in a dynasty keeper league, what is the ceiling for Chacin?

@Enrique: you’d definitely be grabbing much more upside, but in the short term, not sure that he’d be an upgrade. westbrook has jumped his Ks with the cards, and duensing has pitched too well to just drop for an unknown. i don’t think any of the guys will be more than occasional spot start the rest of the year anyway, so not a huge deal.

Michael Saunders vs Julio Borbon for the 4th OF spot. I’m thinking Saunders at this point even if Daniel Murphy’s homers have him dizzy. Washington’s got jukebox control and he’s not playing 1 Borbon. I think Daniel Murphy’s homers have Borbon dizzy too.

Then I need to pick 2 out of Chris Carter, Dan Johnson, Dayan Viciedo and the loser of the above contest (Saunders/Borbon). I’m thinking Carter and Johnson. But am I just being swayed by their presidential last names?

Viciedo is batting .300 and slugging .500… will he get a chance for more regular playing time this year or will he remain a guy who sometimes play vs lefties until he’s sent back to the minors?

I’m seriously considering streaming Kyle Kendrick in place of one of my RPs to match the total starts of my opponent in a weekly league. However, I am terrified that he might completely implode. What do you guys think of this decision?

As an aside, my opponent is very weak at RP and I’d likely be able to beat him using only one RP.

@Big Nate: @Grey: Scary that anyone is actually listening to a Berry podcast except to make funny soundbites.

PS: Owning Kemp this year has made me want to slit my wrists. When did he turn into Bossman Junior Junior? I thought nabbing him in the second round was a good compliment to Miggy, but I think he needs to make like Chris Brown in a hurry and get back to productivity.

@Grey: I about choked when that came out of Berry’s mouth. And of course Nate Ravitz agreed. I used to listen to him often but the information quickly got too basic. I mean c’mon – Yes, Angel Pagan should be owned you assclown. Who are these people? And no Berry, I don’t a shit if you wrote Crocodile Dundee and once stood 15 feet from Anne Hathaway…