Heart Beat

I’ve seen this guy around campus and I think he is really cute. We have never met before but I’m interested in getting to know him. I’ve heard from people that he is not currently in a relationship. Would it be weird if I messaged him? Also, the school year is coming to a close so is it worth it?

Sincerely, Campus Crusher

Dear Campus Crusher,

Short answer, YES! We think that everyone should be more bold about asking others out. There is no shame in wanting to get to know someone, even if it does not turn out to be romantic. The worst thing that could happen is you get rejected, which is great practice, and gives you thicker skin! We think this is a great question and that more people should have this approach, so we are going to give you some easy steps to asking out your crush:

First, decide your medium. Do you see this person often? Are you in a class together?

If so you can ask them to study with you. Mutual friend? You can ask to be introduced. A stranger with a cute smile? Find them on instagram or facebook and slide into those dmsssss.

About whether to do it now or when you get back, that is up to you! It could be nice to do it before you leave for the year so they have you in mind when they come back in the Fall. At the same time, you never know what could happen over the summer. We say go for it now.

Before you send – make sure you won’t be crushed if they don’t respond or say no!

They don’t know you so if they say no it’s not a reflection of your self worth. You are still just as awesome as you were before. Rejection is good for the spirit.

(If applicable) Draft your message or plan out your intro. Run it by some friends or maybe your mom. Make sure you’re being respectful and air on the side of caution with compliments, you don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Keep it short, simple, and sweet. Find a friend to hit the send button if you’re too nervous

Example: Hey this might seem out there but I’ve seen you around campus and you seem cool. Would you want to grab a meal or coffee sometime?

If they respond positively – yay great you did it! If they respond negatively – yay you did it!

If you decide to move forward with dinner or coffee, arrange a time and be flexible!

Do a pre-date dance in your room to work out those nervous jitters!

Set your expectations for the outcome of this date at zero. This way, you will have fun with whatever positive things come of it and won’t end up upset if no romantic attention is found.

College can be a great time to explore relationships and what you are into. If you do not end up being into them – it is so okay! Just because you had initial interest in them does not obligate you to continue hanging out with them if it does not go well.

If it does go well – that is great – good for you for putting yourself out there! Stay confident throughout this whole process. You are who you are, whether someone is interested in you or not does not change you. Keep being honest, and trust your gut.

Sincerely,

Honeys on the Hill

mess-ae@stolaf.edu

Having trouble navigating the St. Olaf dating scene? Need help finding a date? Got more dates than you can handle? Or have a response to this week’s column? E-mail your questions to mess-ae@stolaf.edu and maybe one of our love columnists will answer them in next week’s issue. All submitted questions will remain anonymous.