This board is a composition workshop, like a writers' workshop: post your work with questions about style or vocabulary, comment on other people's work, post composition challenges on some topic or form, or just dazzle us with your inventive use of galliambics.

I've decided to give up on classical poetry (or any thought of it) until I can have an actual person read it to me (e.g. a teacher ). Anyway, this sounds like and feels like Cattus Petasatus (which takes example from medieval stuff like Stabat Mater, etc.) I make no pretense of this carmen being well-rythmed or composed, or even of it being truly mediaeval. It's just what I threw together (thankfully with no ka-bar or ink! ) multo uino.

in renaissance (is that spelled right?) madrigals (either english or italian, or both... not exactly sure), 'to die' meant not 'to have the wind pass from ones body' (now i understand why 'morior' appears passive), but 'to climax'. just a little fyi in case you didn't know.

-velam isn't a word as far as I can tell - do you mean veniam (from veniam dare, to have mercy on, to be gracious to)? Perhaps confused with vela dare (from velum), to set sail?-I'm thrown off by illud quibus illa morit / iactat vi deleritatem. I can't figure it out. First of all, morit for moritur? It's deponent, as you mention later on. and what's illud quibus? I'll venture a guess on the rest: "...she dies / she violently flings insanity"

FIne here, but I'm not sure what iram pacem is doing. Is there an implied esse there, to match the last line? So, "rage is peace--with a lot of wine, I sing, and love is sad"?

Fun little poem. Until quantity becomes natural to our ears, rhyming Latin is so much more accessible. Check out the carmina burana (especially the drinking songs) if you haven't already. (Here, for instance: http://www.thelatinlibrary.com/carm.bur.html)

First, I forgot to mention that the title miserem me! is a little ambiguous. Initially I thought it was a mistake for miserum me (accusative of exclamation). Then I realized it might be subj. pres. of misero hence "Let me feel sory for myself!" or maybe, moving back a few decades, "(It's Not My Party But) I Can Cry If I Want To."

If it's the latter, let me recommend mei miseret me which, if I'm not mistaken, is a good way of saying "I feel sorry for myself." Also, it has a nasty batch of alliteration, which seems to further what you're doing. finis illius sit.

-nice: furorem is a bit better than deleritatem, methinks, unless you're looking for out-of-the-way diction. -ficus, I'm guessing, works much as cauda does - the imagery is vivid, to say the least...!

triste et multo cum uino cano amorem esse iram et pacem

or: ira pace multo uino tristem amorem esse cano

I still don't see how triste works in the prose paraphrase. Is it "I sing that love is a sad thing..." or, perhaps, should it be tristis (note the gender): "Sad, and smashed, I sing that love..."?

And should I assume that ira pace multo uino are all ablatives of manner with an implied cum - thus, "angrily, tranquilly, wine-imbibingly, I whine how love is a bitter thing" (loosely)?

speaking of carmina burana, my band plays a reduced-to-two-guitars version of 'o fortuna'. it's really fun to play. and speaking of 'fun', it was hell to write, but I'm glad it's not hell to read.

I just found a neat - and cheap - paperback anthology of medieval Latin lyrics, including a substantial number of the carmina burana. Not as fun reading, I'm sure, as hearing with two guitars. You're referring to a reduction of Carl Orff's orchestration, I'm guessing?

thanks for the help and suggestions.

As ever, my limited knowledge and (at least until I leave the country in June) unlimited time is at your disposal

-ficus, I'm guessing, works much as cauda does - the imagery is vivid, to say the least...!

aye. it's a tree, so it's similar to malus, and it reminds me of Dante's raising of the fig, so i thought it appropriate.

I still don't see how triste works in the prose paraphrase. Is it "I sing that love is a sad thing..." or, perhaps, should it be tristis (note the gender): "Sad, and smashed, I sing that love..."?

And should I assume that ira pace multo uino are all ablatives of manner with an implied cum - thus, "angrily, tranquilly, wine-imbibingly, I whine how love is a bitter thing" (loosely)?

at first it was supposed to mean 'I whine [haha] sadly[with triste as an adv.] and wit lotsa wine that love is wrath and peace',(I'm curious as to the best way to say this particular idea.) but with ira pacem multo uino - tristem amorem esse cano It was supposed to mean 'I whine angrily peacefully drunkenlythat love is sad'.