We’ve Been Charged With Soliciting!

By Smaktakula

Yeah, It’s For Sure Our Worst Title Ever, But Focus Instead On The Exciting New Feature.

Specifically, with soliciting questions from our readership!

Daily, a devoted legion of readers around the world turns to Promethean Times for the answers that matter most in their lives.¹ We do not take this responsibility lightly, and as our readers live increasingly complex and demanding lives, we strive to meet their needs.

If This Disturbing Homunculus Could Opine On The Life Erotic, We Figure We Can Talk About Anything.

And what people really need is another advice column. Specifically an audio advice column.

Promethean Times‘ very own advice column, Ask Tardsie, will be debuting in these pages very soon. We invite you to any and all questions to Tardsie about any subject whatsoever. Seriously–dating advice, astrology, cooking tips–you know, whatever. We’ll try to answer all questions, and as honestly as we feel like. If you don’t send ’em, we’ll have to make ’em, up–and we can guarantee they’ll be weak-ass questions like “Why are you so damn cool?” You can submit your questions in the space for comment below or email Tardsie directly at tardsie@gmail.com

There Is Perhaps No Better Barometer Of A Feature’s Worth Than To Know It Is Taking Space That Would Be Better Served By Those Creepy Naked “Love IS” Kids.

In the meantime, we hope you’ll enjoy this first installment of Ask Tardsie. NSFW, but for the typical PT reasons of potty-mouthery, and not any crazy holy rollin’ (and the mix is a bit louder than we’d like, but it won’t sound like the Blue Angels coming through your speakers; we could have remastered it, but thought you would enjoy a little audience participation. We’re helpful like that).

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42 thoughts on “We’ve Been Charged With Soliciting!”

Ask Tardsie: I am so glad that I have somewhere to go to get informed…. or was that in form… Oh, my mistake, thought I was at Gym’s Place.. you know… that hunky guy with the biceps…
Well, if you have any advice along the lines of ‘How to Keep in Shape’ whilst sitting on a chair all day long in front of a computer, I’d be most grateful…. In the meantime I’m off to Gym’s … 😉

Dear Tardsie, I love my youngest son, but he won’t shut up. Even as I type this, he is buzzing around my left ear like a mosquito. Is it proper to physically muzzle a child from age five to, say, age eighteen?
Thank you,
Bill in Greenville

Well, I guess you’ll just have to find out, won’t you?
In the meantime, I hope you won’t mind if I answer your question with a question of my own. Sort of a Socratic teaching method, if you will. My question is this…

You are totally insane. I lmao listening to the audio clip.
Ask Tardsie:
I live in a rough neighborhood but stil enjoy pizza delivery. Folks ’round here like to beat up and rob the pizza guy so they halted service to this area…sometimes I have the munchies and really want a nice slice of pepperoni – will they ever deliver here again?
This may not fall under your traditional questions – you may have to result to psychic powers which I’m sure you also have.

All of the above questions are great, for sure, but can Tardsie please tell me what the hell “NSFW” stands for? I am acronym-challenged, but luckily, I’m not afraid to ask dumb questions, as this one demonstrates.

That’s not a dumb question, although I did think you were joking and was already preparing an answer for AT. I’ll answer that one now (and honestly) ’cause it seems important. Chica Blanca is correct–it stands for Not Safe For Work. It’s used when you’re sending a picture or sound file that could be offensive in the office or is for some other reason inappropriate.

I would like to know what kind of dental plan/mental health services your insurance plan offers to the poor 12 year old girl employees at the call center/nike sneaker plant where you have these question/answer sessions recorded.
And are they hiring?