Off the Top

Tuesday night POTUS will be addressing Congress and the nation in his first State of the Union address, and you may be debating whether to watch. This is not a decision you should approach casually. If you feel incapable of witnessing the event, no one will think any the less of you.

However, if you feel that watching is a matter of civic duty, or if you're into some sick, twisted S&M cult and get off on pain, here are some items you should have on hand —

Bucket of soapy water with mop for cleanup in case you don't make it to the bathroom in time

A portable emergency eyewash unit for rinsing your eyes after seeing the Sergeant-at-Arms announce "Mister Speaker, the President of the United States!" and Donald Trump enters.

Alternative device for Googling "facts." This may include determining whether Irkutsk is a state in the Union, the Confederate Army's surrender at Appomattox was "fake news," and whether Nancy Pelosi and Frederick Douglass have a love child.

If you've somehow found your way here, welcome, welcome. This is my very first blog entry, so this is a pretty momentous event in the history of human communication (and lucky you, you're here to witness it!)

While you take a second to calm yourself, I'll simply say that this space will be devoted to my assorted passions: creating outstanding books for children, great graphic design and illustration, every conceivable kind of humor, animated shorts, jazz piano, environmental issues, and political discourse (instead of diss-course). And of course, there may be random thoughts on family, friendship, and the messy business of living.

I never aspired to write a blog (actually, the mere thought of it made me queasy). But now that I'm here, I'm kind of curious to see what comes out of my brain pan. I hope you'll find it worth your time.