2. Hotting-up your car

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Guys who think a girl is going to lose her mind just because they’ve installed beaded seat covers in their Datsun — welcome to our list. A car is the thing that gets you to the shops when it’s too far to walk and you couldn’t be bothered with public transport. The second you start thinking of it as a blank canvas for you to decorate your bogan mechanical art on, you’re done. Sure, get a nice stereo and one of those vanilla-scented Christmas trees for the rearview mirror but the words "custom bodykit" should only be used by a qualified mechanic.