1. The puppy love.

Your puppy love, or crush, is where those butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms, and embarrassing stutters originate from. No. You’ve never even kissed, maybe held hands. If you’re lucky to be acquainted with this one, you’re both likely to be clueless about where to take this, except drown yourselves in the sea of oxytocin. It’s also where you start developing telepathy and mind reading skills.

2. The first love.

Your first love, or serious relationship, may give you the prelude of how it’s like getting along with your partner’s parents, siblings, and pet dog. Chances are Scruffy hates you more than the family does. It shapes your early perspective on love and relationships. Usually, out of the entire list, this is the one you love (or loved) the most, doing stuff like, baking heart-shaped cookies, writing saccharine-sweet cards, and losing your mind for. It also includes your first heartbreak.

3. The second chance.

You’ve matured. You’ve learnt a great deal from the past. You’re more independent and your finances are in place. Your gestures of love are more epic this time, like lighting up the entire garden with tea candles, fixing up a six-course dinner for two, and giving them the keys to your apartment. But if both your emotional and security needs aren’t quite in the same spot, soon the spark fizzes off and you fall out of it. In this case, if searching for that soul mate or the one is really important to you, you’ll rather have no one than be with the wrong one.

4. The fling.

You’ve never intended for it to be a fling, but that’s what it is: you’re both physically attracted to one another; there’s chemistry brewing; your libido levels are escalating faster than you can rip each other’s clothes off. After lust and alcohol kicks in, it’s to your place or hers. But let’s be honest: putting the amazing sex aside, you wouldn’t want to be labelled as so-and-so’s one night stand, and neither do you want to label somebody with it. Really. Because you’ll eventually realize how living a life of dalliance can make one look. Everyone wants to feel desired, flattered, and special to someone — more than it is to be worthy of a one-nighter or two.

5. The casual date.

You want to try developing feelings with them and see where that takes you. Much like a buffet spread, you aren’t sure whether you want the lobster bisque or sushi maki crab roll, hence, it’s wiser to open your options, and have a taste of everything — the best of everything. But that’s a fallacy we trick ourselves into. Buffets are fine, but with people, if you know for a fact that it’s just casual, you know at the back of your mind it probably isn’t going to go anywhere further than that. Even if you’re comfortable with this arrangement, you may find that your date may eventually switch gears, causing the frivolity to come to an end.

6. The bully.

Abuse may also come in the form of mental or emotional. Yes. That counts as abuse. In this relationship, you often find yourself overpowered and suffocated. If you’re always guilt-trapped, again, alarm bells. How you react to it reveals a lot about you; how you manage someone who can’t handle themselves and their temper. However, a partner’s fit of rage doesn’t warrant you to get even with a counter left hook, or a wrath of flying ceramic plates. No. Smashing of smartphones is also unacceptable. Bottom-line, don’t get aggressive; get OUT of it. Easier said than done, but still, a relationship shouldn’t jeopardize your wellbeing and turn your life into a UFC match or a throwing/ tossing contest of sorts. Scars may remain, it may take a very long time to heal, but you don’t have to live your life as though it were there, simply because you don’t deserve to.

7. The missed connection.

You’re hopelessly attracted to them, like a moth to a flame, except you don’t end up in bug ash. You can’t fathom how such beautiful souls can even exist. They’re the ones you feel lost in bliss with; seeing the world through their eyes; and roaming free on the face of the earth in their footsteps. They might not be as mesmerized by you as you are. These tend to be short-lived, but nonetheless, important chapters in your life because it allows you to experience the brevity of such beauty and wonder what could possibly be. You’ll never forget these people.

8. The one that’s into you, but you’re not.

Pretty much self-explanatory.

9. The “right” one (or the one that makes things right).

Although you may not have same interests, you share similar values, and the same zest for life. They’re the ones that catch you when you fall, whom you hold on to when they’re weak. The relationship may not be all sparklers and macaroons, but that’s because love has blossomed into something more; the intertwining of two souls leading to an intertwining of two lives. Your proclamations of love for one another have manifest into something more tangible; there is a fair share of bills, responsibilities, and clearing out the trash to be handled. You accept each other’s imperfections, and share each other’s vulnerabilities, learning and growing along through life’s lessons. The right one is an extension of you, and often the one you marry, sharing the same dream of having the house with white picket fence, two dogs, and a bunch of kids with, or something along those lines. You get the picture.

What happens when you’ve had some of these multiple times and still haven’t found #9 yet? Do we get a bottle of vodka and a free membership to Match.com in place of a wedding? If so, I prefer flavored vodka over regular ;)