James Blake Opens Up About Mental Health, “Suicidal Thoughts”

Blake says he experienced “existential depression on a daily basis” during his first tours

James Blake photo by Burak Cingi/Redferns

James Blake was a guest speaker at the Performing Arts Medicine Association’s annual symposium in Orange County, California yesterday. PAMA is an organization that focuses on the improvement of health care for musicians, dancers, and actors. During a panel called “You Got This: Managing the Suicide Crisis in the Arts Population,” Blake opened up about his own experiences with depression and anxiety, Billboard reports. While discussing his early tours, he revealed that he experienced “suicidal thoughts” as a result of life on the road.

Blake was in his early 20s when he released 2010’s CMYK EP and 2011’s James Blake. “I was taken away from normal life essentially at an age where I was half-formed,” he said, according to Billboard. He reportedly explained that because of the “surface level” interactions artists have with others when they’re only in town for a short period, only the “good stuff” gets discussed—“which generally doesn’t involve how anxious you feel [or] how depressed you feel.”

He also discussed the impact poor eating habits had on him. “I would say that chemical imbalance due to diet and the deterioration of my health was a huge, huge factor in my depression and eventual suicidal thoughts,” he said, according to Billboard. “I developed [dietary] intolerances that would lead to existential depression on a daily basis. I would eat a certain thing and then all day I would feel like there was just no point.”

Blake said he found relief in a treatment called EMDR therapy. He also discussed cutting ties with people who were enabling unhealthy behavior. “Honestly, a lot of catharsis just came in telling lots of people to fuck off,” he reportedly said. “And saying no. Saying no to constant touring. No [amount of] money will ever be enough.”

He said he’s opening up about his experiences because “we’ve reached a critical point.” “We are the generation that’s watched several other generations of musicians turn to drugs and turn to excess and coping mechanisms that have destroyed them,” he said, according to Billboard. “And there are so many high-profile people recently who’ve taken their own lives. So we, I think, have a responsibility to talk about it and to remove the stigma.”