Here Come the Predictable Columns

I just tweeted that the local media would need to find a new narrative now that Michael Vick has been named the Eagles starting quarterback (until he struggles or gets hurt and we have a new controversy). And if I would’ve had more than 140 characters, my Tweet was jokingly going to include something about how the next manufactured story would be whether the Eagles should trade Nick Foles.

Rich Hoffman was a step ahead of me.

He already had the column ready to go: [there are no paragraph breaks in this excerpt because Philly.com may be the only website on Earth that, when you copy and paste a snippet, strips out the formatting*– this is, like, 1997 stuff, and they still can’t get it right]

And so, Chip Kelly has done his first conventional thing of the summer. Deciding that it was important for the starters to play together in the third exhibition game — a time-honored NFL ritual — Kelly has short-circuited his quarterback competition and named the obvious starter: Michael Vick. He made the announcement before practice this morning. Which leads me to the next question on the agenda: Should they trade Nick Foles? I say yes. He has had an excellent summer. Under two different coaches, he has demonstrated uncommon accuracy for a kid, and reasonably quick decision-making. He also has turned over the ball too often; again, a kid.

I hate to even take the bait, but, no, the Eagles shouldn’t trade Foles. Hoffman argues that Matt Barkley is the heir apparent– and maybe he is. I love Barkley. But Foles has looked too good to simply discard him when you have an injury-prone quarterback playing in front of him. Plus, Barkley looks like he needs quite a bit of time to get used to the speed of the NFL.

Vick being named the starter is an interim decision, at best. If he struggles for two weeks, don’t think Foles’ name won’t surface again. And there’s no reason to trade him unless you truly believe he has no future here– and that’s not something I think the Eagles are convinced of. If they were, there wouldn’t have been this charade about who was going to be the starter.

But we need something to talk about, and Hoffman, a veteran sports discusser, was ready and waiting with the next narrative. It will be interesting to see if his former colleague, Phil Sheridan, now with ESPN, will continue to weave this tale on a national level.

Ah shit now what the hell am gonna talk about all day now that I can’t incessantly bitch about Chip Kelly’s Charlie College tactics? I guess I could go back to Riley Cooper… Or maybe I’ll bring up how I’m butthurt that my boy Sean Brace didn’t go to my show even though he actually generated way more publicity for his show by me talking about him on the air than he ever could have by appearing on some show no one watches. What do you think about that, skip?

What are you talking about there are no paragraph breaks on the philly.com story? There are multiple paragraph breaks, you idiot. It’s how Hofmann wrote it/chose to break up the story. And, yeah, it’s HOFMANN. If you’re going to rip a guy at least spell his name correctly, Kyull.