Sounds Strange

Some of the expressions we use sound like they were coined by someone who doesn’t actually speak English.

A while back, I wrote this column about words that people use that annoy many of us for one reason or another, like “like” and “whatever” and “whatnot” and whatnot. I also talked about popular expressions that people use flagrantly, despite the fact that these expressions:

What kind of sicko is out there skinning cats??

A. raise too many questions. For example, I brought up the phrase, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat”, and wondered what kind of sicko is out there not only skinning cats, but coming up with new ways to do so and sharing them in polite conversation.

and

B. don’t really mean anything. An example of such an expression would be, “It is what it is”, which is a nice way of saying, “I’m sorry, I tuned out like ten minutes ago.”

So I asked people to send in some expressions that irked them, and I received an overwhelming amount of responses. Apparently, you can’t swing a dead cat without bumping into an expression that people cannot stand hearing.

But it turns out I don’t always agree with everyone’s opinion about these things. For example, take T.K. of Brooklyn, who has a major issue with the idiom, “I’m not gonna lie to you.” She’s all for the not lying, but she says, “People say, “I’m not going to lie to you – I really don’t like this coleslaw.” Why on earth would anyone say this? Doesn’t it negate anything they ever said in their whole entire lives before now?”

But while I do agree that it’s annoying, I understand why people say it in this particular example: They really don’t like your coleslaw. They figure they can be nice and say they like it, and then every time they come over, you’re going to make the same coleslaw. They don’t want to stop coming over altogether. So instead, they’re just going to come straight out and tell you they don’t like it. They’re hoping that instead of getting insulted, you’re going to say, “Well, at least she didn’t lie.”

Another expression that irks some people is “Believe you me”. You know how sometimes you hear an expression, and you’re pretty sure it was coined by someone who didn’t actually speak English?

What are you supposed to respond to that?

“No, I don’t believe me you. Him them.”

And how about the phrase, “between a rock and a hard place”? I feel like someone was writing that expression behind deadline, and he got called away. He’d already topped himself with “rock”, and he couldn’t think of a second hard thing to finish with. (“Between a rock and a diamond? No, that sounds like a good thing. Between two rocks? Oh look, it’s time for my meeting!”)

If you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, then aren’t you in the hard place?

Either way, it’s not the end of the world.

“It’s not the end of the world” is what people say when the problem is more yours than theirs. What they’re saying is that it’s not the end of their world.

It’s kind of a big jump though, isn’t it? Believe you me, if it was the end of the world, I’d be panicking a lot harder. It’s not a very helpful expression. Like if you’re hosting a shower, and your wife tells you that you got 50 positive RSVPs, and your living room can fit, at most, 40 people if you count laps, and you say, “It’s not the end of the world,” you might think you’re telling her that things could be worse, but if it actually were the end of the world, I don’t think those ten extra people would be standing around going, “We don’t have seats. Where do we sit?”

So before you say something like that, take a moment and put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

“Hey! Who took my shoes?”

C.C. wrote in as well: “The past few years,” she says, “When you ask someone if they want a drink, instead of saying, “No thank you”, they respond with, “No, I’m good.” This has nothing to do with the question. I didn’t ask them to describe their behavior in general; I asked them if they’re thirsty. If they really do want a drink, would they say, “Yeah, actually, I’m bad”?”

To that I say, “I don’t know.” I usually say, “I’m good,” even if I actually am thirsty. I guess what I probably mean is, “Even though I want a drink, I’m a good person, and I therefore don’t want to bother you.” Not that I ever thought about it. Maybe people think I’m saying, “I’m too good for your drink.” That would certainly give me a taste of my own medicine.

That’s another one. Aren’t you supposed to taste your own medicine? It’s your medicine, right? The pharmacist went to the trouble of typing your name on the bottle, on that little sticker, which I’m sure gets stuck in the printer more often than not.

I actually have this fight with my kids all the time:

“I don’t wanna taste my own medicine!”

Meanwhile, my one-year-old is bringing me his sippy cup because he wants some too.

“Thank you for the humor that you share with us. Whenever my husband hears me laughing while I’m reading, he assumes I’m reading your column, and he’s usually right.”

(EDITOR’S NOTE: “He’s usually right just about this,” I bet she means. But now we know why she chose to remain anonymous.)

Anyway, she continues: “Our contribution to your request for expressions is, “I’m going to give you a piece of my mind.” I wish you wouldn’t.”

Me too. It’s never a good piece. And how about the people who say, “I have half a mind”, as in “I have half a mind to give that guy a piece of my mind”?

“How much would that leave you with? I’m not great with fractions.”

Finally, M.D. writes, “I’m sitting on a plane, waiting for takeoff. The passenger next to me is talking on her phone, and has just said, “Can I have your thoughts?” I’m thinking that perhaps she has none of her own.”

“Whoa, I just wanted some thoughts. I didn’t need a whole piece of your mind.”

Anyway, my thoughts are that the reason they haven’t taken off yet is that the pilot is waiting for everyone to stop playing around with their phones.

Also, several people wrote me to complain about the word “totally”, as in “Mrs. P. totally gives us too much homework. It’s totally not fair.”

“Totally,” the other person agrees. (In other words, “It is what it is”.)

Do you have any words or expressions that bother you? You should totally write in. But if you don’t, then whatever. It is what it is. It’s not the end of the world.

Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

Mordechai Schmutter writes a weekly humor column for Hamodia, a monthly humorous advice column for The Jewish Press, and a comic strip for The 20s and 30s of Brooklyn. He is also the author of the books, Don’t Yell “Challah” in a Crowded Matzah Bakery, A Clever Title Goes Here, This Side Up, and Cholent Mix, all published by Israel Book Shop. In his spare time, which doesn't exist, he attempts to teach Language Arts to a bunch of high school guys, most of whom are usually too upset that he showed up on any given day to even pay attention to his lessons. He is also available to do stand-up comedy. He lives in New Jersey, but no longer remembers why.

Visitor Comments: 31

(16)
Anonymous,
March 23, 2014 11:35 PM

definition of "I'm good"

it actually means "no thank you" .. not related to behavior...

(15)
Diane C.,
March 21, 2014 1:42 PM

"No problem" is my problem.

You may not have notcied how many people use the expression "no problem" when told "thank you" but you will after reading this. I don't know when this began but I hear it everywhere lately: at the grocery check out, from the waiter/tress... I say "thank you" and they say "no problem", I didn't think I was being a problem and thought they were doing their job. The proper response would be "your welcome" or "no, thank you". Sorry if this is on your radar screen now and annoys you too.

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 4:17 AM

Thanks

Hebrew, French, and Spanish all say some version of "no problem". How does "you're welcome" make sense?

(14)
Chaiah Schwab,
March 19, 2014 7:52 PM

In Brooklyn, they say " besides for" when they mean "except for." Even my super-brilliant grand kids say this. I know it doesn't qualify for a true expression, but after laughing so hard at your terrific ending paragraphs, i was vulnerable to "letting it all hang out" and just had to tell the folks out there in cyberspace that "besides for" is not good Eglish, except for those who inhabit the particular cyber space of Brooklyn, NY.

P.S. "Letting it all hang out" has got to be one of the worst expressions of all time -- I shudder when I think what might be hanging out... unless it means tzittzis hanging out, which is fine, as long as they are not dragging on the floor. THERE, now I've gotten that off my chest, I feel better already. How much did you say you charge for this therapy?!

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 4:16 AM

Thanks

If you have things you need to get off your chest, you're wearing your knapsack backwards.

(13)
Anonymous,
March 19, 2014 5:30 PM

Smart observations

One of my favorite peeves/entertainments: Free gifts. I never really know how to pay for my free gifts, maybe I should find out how much they would cost...I am totally confused as to what exactly the 'free' gift is. I have yet to pay for an unfree gift. And so on.

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 4:14 AM

Thanks

Some organizations giver you gifts and expect donations in returns. you're not paying for the gift, but it's not free either.

(12)
M. Hillson,
March 19, 2014 8:40 AM

His Bark Is Louder Than His Bite, But ....

His bite sure hurts!

What kind of saying is that?! A bite surely makes less noise than a bark, yet who would prefer a bite over a bark?

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 4:13 AM

Thanks

last week I was driving and I saw a teenager walking by a fence that had a dog behind it. The dog ran up to the fence and barked, and the kid, without thinking, leaped backward into the street into traffic. So yeah, barks are worse, apparently.

(11)
tom42,
March 19, 2014 2:17 AM

Stupid expressions

A lot of these dumb expressions come from late night talk show hosts, and then are parroted by jerks who want to sound "in"

It is a good indicator of a person's intelligence to listen to the expressions he/she uses.

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 4:11 AM

Thanks

Comedians don't create culture, they comment on it. If a late night talk show host used an expression, it's because everyone else does and THEY want to sound like everyone else so they can stay relevant.

(10)
Anonymous,
March 19, 2014 12:50 AM

where is that at?

Still laughing from your wonderful article, I vote for "Where is that at?" What is the difference between that line and "Where is that?" I remember when this sneaked its way into our language, but even though it's many years, I can't accept it. By the way, why do 4th generation Americans say "fivdy"? I thought the word was "fifty".

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 4:10 AM

Thanks

That's an awfully specific question.

(9)
Anonymous,
March 18, 2014 11:59 PM

forgot to say

How could I forget this? Nowadays, people begin sentences with the word, "So," Example: " What did you do today?" "So, I went to the mall the buy a pair of shoes." It's unbelievable how this usage of "so," has caught on.

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 4:09 AM

Thanks

This post was so-so

(8)
Anonymous,
March 18, 2014 11:54 PM

A very annoying, albeit Jewish way of saying 'at', or 'next to', is "by." Such as, "I'll be by my daughter for Purim." I'm sure this is a direct translation from Yiddish, but saying "by," is rampant, and so annoying. Also, those who say" irrigardless", or the very Brooklynese, where I hail from originally, but thankfully never said: "I'm gone home." That is about the most irksome comment ever, and more than that, it is uttered by educated people, who should know better. Mispronouncing the Rambam's English name, as well as the hospital in Brooklyn, "Maimomides," is another classic. The other day, I was on the bus from the Port Authority to where I live. Two girls were on the bus also. If they did not utter the word "like," 100 times, they did not utter it once. When is the 'like," nonsense going to stop? This falls into the category of irritating beyond belief. Even more so than "whatever." All sectors of society say it. These two were college girls and I cannot imagine that they hand in papers, and work using "like," in each sentence. As I tell my students, whenever they say "like," I say, "it is not like, it is!"

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 4:08 AM

Liked this

.

(7)
Anonymous,
March 18, 2014 10:52 PM

"Having said that,...."

Really bothers me. Too wordy. "However" or "but" would suffice.

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 4:07 AM

Thanks

It's the kind of thing you write when you're in school and have a minimum word requirement for your essays.

(6)
Yael,
March 18, 2014 8:10 PM

Like

Many people over use the word like. It's always very funny to listen to people talking and hear how many times they say like in unnesercary places.

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 4:06 AM

Thanks

It's even an option on facebook now.

(5)
Yehudit,
March 18, 2014 6:16 PM

At the end of the day....

What does it mean, "at the end of the day"? As in , "at the end of the day, we're all in the same boat."
Does that mean that tomorrow we will all be in different boats? Or did we start the day in different boats and later there's going to be one big yacht party happening?
And let's not talk about being in the same boat.... That one just makes me sick. Pun intended.

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 3:42 AM

Thanks

At the end of the day, I go to sleep.

(4)
Jeffrey Nathan,
March 18, 2014 5:54 PM

Yes,it sounds strange to my ears

I WAS born,raised & educated in London,England,{the capital of the English speaking world} & since the U.S.A. adopted the English language,they have ravaged & savaged English.

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 3:38 AM

Thanks

"To my ears"?

(3)
Anonymous,
March 18, 2014 2:19 PM

"I know, right?"

This is huge with the college set. Are they agreeing, or seeking confirmation?

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 3:38 AM

Thanks

Grammatically, I think they're asking you whether they know.

(2)
Rivka,
March 17, 2014 12:12 PM

You're beating a dead horse

Who does that?

Anonymous,
March 25, 2014 3:37 AM

Thanks

Maybe in a race. It shouldn't be hard.

(1)
Harriet,
March 17, 2014 1:53 AM

"the boss of me"

Who came up with "You're not the boss of me."? That one really bothers me. Maybe my answer should have been, "No. I'm the mother of you." If that phrase was started by someone who's first language is English, I'd be very surprised.

Mordechai Schmutter,
March 25, 2014 3:35 AM

Thanks

Does anyone actually introduce their boss that way? "This is Mr. Peterman. He's the boss of me."

I live in rural Montana where the Cholov Yisrael milk is difficult to obtain and very expensive. So I drink regular milk. What is your view on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Jewish law requires that there be rabbinic supervision during the milking process to ensure that the milk comes from a kosher animal. In the United States, many people rely on the Department of Agriculture's regulations and controls as sufficiently stringent to fulfill the rabbinic requirement for supervision.

Most of the major Kashrut organizations in the United States rely on this as well. You will therefore find many kosher products in America certified with a 'D' next to the kosher symbol. Such products – unless otherwise specified on the label – are not Cholov Yisrael and are assumed kosher based on the DOA's guarantee.

There are many, however, do not rely on this, and will eat only dairy products that are designated as Cholov Yisrael (literally, "Jewish milk"). This is particularly true in large Jewish communities, where Cholov Yisrael is widely available.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote that under limited conditions, such as an institution which consumes a lot of milk and Cholov Yisrael is generally unavailable or especially expensive, American milk is acceptable, as the government supervision is adequate to prevent non-kosher ingredients from being added.

It should be added that the above only applies to milk itself, which is marketed as pure cow's milk. All other dairy products, such as cheeses and butter, may contain non-kosher ingredients and always require kosher certification. In addition, Rabbi Feinstein's ruling applies only in the United States, where government regulations are considered reliable. In other parts of the world, including Europe, Cholov Yisrael is a requirement.

There are additional esoteric reasons for being stringent regarding Cholov Yisrael, and because of this it is generally advisable to consume only Cholov Yisroel dairy foods.

In 1889, 800 Jews arrived in Buenos Aires, marking the birth of the modern Jewish community in Argentina. These immigrants were fleeing poverty and pogroms in Russia, and moved to Argentina because of its open door policy of immigration. By 1920, more than 150,000 Jews were living in Argentina. Juan Peron's rise to power in 1946 was an ominous sign, as he was a Nazi sympathizer with fascist leanings. Peron halted Jewish immigration to Argentina, introduced mandatory Catholic religious instruction in public schools, and allowed Argentina to become a haven for fleeing Nazis. (In 1960, Israeli agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from a Buenos Aires suburb.) Today, Argentina has the largest Jewish community in Latin America with 250,000, though terror attacks have prompted many young people to emigrate. In 1992, the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 32 people. In 1994, the Jewish community headquarters in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 85 people. The perpetrators have never been apprehended.

Be aware of what situations and behaviors give you pleasure. When you feel excessively sad and cannot change your attitude, make a conscious effort to take some action that might alleviate your sadness.

If you anticipate feeling sad, prepare a list of things that might make you feel better. It could be talking to a specific enthusiastic individual, running, taking a walk in a quiet area, looking at pictures of family, listening to music, or reading inspiring words.

While our attitude is a major factor in sadness, lack of positive external situations and events play an important role in how we feel.

[If a criminal has been executed by hanging] his body may not remain suspended overnight ... because it is an insult to God (Deuteronomy 21:23).

Rashi explains that since man was created in the image of God, anything that disparages man is disparaging God as well.

Chilul Hashem, bringing disgrace to the Divine Name, is one of the greatest sins in the Torah. The opposite of chilul Hashem is kiddush Hashem, sanctifying the Divine Name. While this topic has several dimensions to it, there is a living kiddush Hashem which occurs when a Jew behaves in a manner that merits the respect and admiration of other people, who thereby respect the Torah of Israel.

What is chilul Hashem? One Talmudic author stated, "It is when I buy meat from the butcher and delay paying him" (Yoma 86a). To cause someone to say that a Torah scholar is anything less than scrupulous in meeting his obligations is to cause people to lose respect for the Torah.

Suppose someone offers us a business deal of questionable legality. Is the personal gain worth the possible dishonor that we bring not only upon ourselves, but on our nation? If our personal reputation is ours to handle in whatever way we please, shouldn't we handle the reputation of our nation and the God we represent with maximum care?

Jews have given so much, even their lives, for kiddush Hashem. Can we not forego a few dollars to avoid chilul Hashem?

Today I shall...

be scrupulous in all my transactions and relationships to avoid the possibility of bringing dishonor to my God and people.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...