Should My Kids Share a Bedroom?

Updated on
August 08, 2017

W.W.
asks from
Los Angeles, CA
on August 05, 2017

16
answers

I have an 8year old boy and a 1.5 year old girl. They love each other and get along really well. We're moving into a smaller house and we were thinking of having them share a room but wondering if it's a good idea given the gender difference and the age gap. Thoughts? Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Guess it's unanimous. We do have a third room option that we wanted to use for office space but we'll figure something else out. Thank you mamas for the feedback. You all had really good points. Much appreciated!

Featured Answers

T.F.

answers from
Dallas
on
August 05, 2017

No.

Too many reasons not to do this. Age difference is HUGE #1.

I can't imagine putting 2 same sex in the same room with that age difference, no way for brother sister.

G.♣.

answers from
Springfield
on
August 05, 2017

I don't think there's anything wrong with a boy and girl sharing a bedroom, especially when they are young. But that is a very big age difference. If it's possible to find another solution, I would. Otherwise she's going to drive him crazy.

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D..

answers from
Miami
on
August 05, 2017

No. They love each other and get along really well RIGHT NOW. They won't if they're stuck together in the same room. No quiet time for the 8 year old, different toys, the 8 year old having to do the "work" of cleaning the room (I sure hope YOU aren't doing it all for a child his age). As the 8 year old gets older, he will get sick of the little one bugging him.

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D.B.

answers from
Boston
on
August 06, 2017

I'd say no, because of the age difference. My guess is, they get along well because they aren't together all the time. He may find her amusing, but he can get away from her too. If they share a room, he will have no private or personal space at all, because a toddler thinks everything is "MINE!" He will not be allowed to have toys that aren't safe for a young child, he can't have things that plug in without dealing with outlet covers, he can't shut her out (whereas now he can even if you need a toddler-proof doorknob cover), and he can't put his things up high all the time because you'll have to secure all the bookshelves and dressers. She will have trouble learning about boundaries and privacy - so she'll be barging into the bathroom when he's in there and so on. He also is getting to homework age, and he needs a homework/study space. And yes, he's going to need his privacy for the things that all 8-10-12 year olds do. He needs to learn to keep his things in order, his room tidy, his laundry in a hamper, his trash/recycling under control and so on - none of that works with a toddler. She's probably still napping, right? So he loses his room when she's doing that. He can't read in bed because the light will keep her up, and you're not going to be able to maintain uniform wake-up and bedtimes for kids this far apart in age. He won't be able to have friends over because she'll want to be a part of everything. That's not going to work after the novelty of the first 5 minutes.

My guess is, he will resent her within a month of having the same room. I was going to say "sharing" but it really wouldn't be - it would all be her space in her opinion, and he'd be living in it.

I think you can make a smaller space work by giving each child a room where they sleep but also keep their toys, so perhaps if you have the idea to use one room for a playroom, you can give that up.

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N.B.

He will have to get rid of every single toy that isn't for age 18 months and below. No hot wheels cars, no legos, no nothing that she could put in her mouth and choke.

She is too young to share a bedroom with any sibling that age. If you google choke hazards for toddlers you will find many things that would keep them separate. She shouldn't have access to his bedroom or toys at all.

I have had to do abdominal thrusts, in my years of child care, on kids that got choked. It's not fun. So don't set your kiddo up to do that. Her toys in her room, his toys in his room with his door shut or a gate up that she can't reach through.

If they play together you should have her in your sights constantly. It only takes a half second.

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H.W.

answers from
Portland
on
August 06, 2017

Nope. An 8 year old needs his space away from baby sister, where he can play with friends without her interference. And he's growing up, in a couple years or so, starting the journey into adolescence and puberty. Baby sister around is going to cramp his style and likely diminish his appreciation for her.

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M.6.

answers from
New York
on
August 07, 2017

The first thing I thought of was "how long would it be before the 1.5 yr old eats/swallows or breaks something of the 8 yr olds?" If it was short term or temporary, it would be fine. But I don't think it should be a permanent solution of any kind. I have a 18 yr old who functions at the age of about 8 and a 3.5 yr old grandbaby who occasionally stays with us. They share a room when she comes to stay and have done that since she was 1.5, and I can tell you that there would be no way they could do that other than the occasional sleepover and they LOVE each other and cry when one or the other leaves.

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M.G.

I would not, personally. An 8 year old boy bringing home his buddies and playing in a room he shares with a 1.5 year old sister.... if it flies now, it won't in a year or two.

My niece and nephew shared a room until your son's age now. They were a year apart and very close. It just stopped being appropriate. Puberty is just around the corner. Kids need their privacy. If you have the space to give each their own room, I would if it were me.

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S.T.

answers from
New York
on
August 06, 2017

My girl and boy shared a room until my daughter was in 3rd grade. (My son was three years younger.) But by that age it was time to get them into separate rooms and we were able then to remove the apartment in our house and take those bedrooms back. At age 8 boys are getting a little too curious about bodies and I'd suggest not to share if there's an option. It's just easier to not put a little boy in a situation that could lead to something he doesn't understand and could feel badly about later (even just looking could make him feel uncomfortable and he wouldn't understand why).
If you have another bedroom use it. Better for your kids to have separate bedrooms than to have a home office or work-out room.

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B.C.

answers from
Norfolk
on
August 05, 2017

No.
For the reasons you stated.
Plus your son is school age, needs his sleep and baby sis will keep him up.
Also I'd worry if his friends find out he rooms with baby sis your son might get picked on.
He'll be a teen fairly quickly and they need some privacy.
If they were closer in age and the same gender sharing would be fine in theory.
But that doesn't always work out either.
I shared a room with my sister (22 months younger than me) until sometime in elementary school when I couldn't stand it anymore, took my sleeping bag and refused to sleep there ever again.
A small dining room became my bedroom after that.
Make sure they have their own space from the beginning and they have a way to get away from each other if they need to.

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❤.M.

answers from
Los Angeles
on
August 08, 2017

No, sorry. The main concern is different sleep patterns. Your youngest could wake up easily with noises. Your son won't have anywhere to "retire" to get away, rest, play with the things in his room or have nowhere to go when his friends come over. Soon he will be a teen and need his own space. However, for now the main things is rest and different sleep patterns/needs. Hopefully you have another space for baby.