Friday, March 25, 2011

1. I'm an 18 year old genderqueer girl. On the oustide, I'm a woman, but my mind is more of a man. Some days I feel like a boy, others a girl. It's not too noticeable, though. Boy days are filled with male Abercrombie flannels and skinny jeans with Converse, while girl days are skinny jeans and tank tops and boots. I'm very fluid. I have always felt more like a man than a woman, but I know being a woman is still a part of me.

2. I consider myself heteroflexible. I usually go for men, but there are some girls that are just... yeah. I thought I was bi, but the word never felt right for me.

6. I don't know how women got such a reputation for not liking porn, because I love it. My favorites are just watching women go solo, whether it's their fingers or a toy, I find it so hot. And the noises. I could just close my eyes and listen for hours.

7. I've had two boyfriends. My first was when I was fifteen. He gave me my first kiss and my first grope to my boobies before cheating on me and leaving me in the dust. The other wasn't really official. We made out at a party and went to the movies together and made out in the backseat of his car. I kept trying to make out with him a lot, but but he kept stopping to talk. He got clingy and I dumped him. He gave me the first time I dumped someone and the first time I gave a man a boner.

8. I have a fantasy about being slammed against the wall and having the breath kissed out of me, then have my skirt flipped up and being eaten out until I'm so sensitive it's almost painful. I want to be ravished and ravish someone in return.

9. Masturbation! I mentioned porn and didn't mention this! I don't think I've had an orgasm, but I just enjoy the pleasure and where it takes me, orgasm or not. And I like the way I taste.

11. I love my breasts. They are beautiful. They are just the right size to bust out of a top or hide under flannel. (Have you noticed I love flannel yet?)

12. I have made a promise to myself not to have sex until I'm ready. If that's not till marriage, fine. If it's tomorrow, cool. I just want to be ready.

13. I'm not sure I'd make a good monogamous partner, but I'll try. There's just so many beautiful people out there!

14. My all time fantasy is to just be fucked lovingly and intimately. That's totally lame, but I want intimacy. Just fucking so hard and so good you never want to stop and the person under or above you is the only thing you can think of or see or hear and you need them everywhere and you are just rocking together and holding on for dear life at the brink and it is perfect. I want that someday.

15. I am a feminist and I am sex positive. I see nothing dirty or bad about it.

16. Music turns me on. I can feel the thumping bass, the guitar vibrations, the voice. It's all so hot to me. Musical people are sexy. Good singing voices are sexy. I think it comes from years in choir and theatre. Michael Bublé's voice is amaaaaaaazing. The first time I heard "Feelin' Good" I literally had to walk into the girl's bathroom, lock the stall and masturbate.

17. I want to eat a girl out. I've never done it before, but I really want to. I also want to give a blowjob. Again, I've never done it, but I'm intrigued.

18. I love kissing. I love the soft, wet noises and the muffled moans and the way lips move against one another and the way the tongues dance. I could kiss all day and never get bored.

19. Clingy = bad. I need space and independence in a relationship, and most of the boys I've met do not seem to get that.

20. I love dirty talk. I love how I can feel the vibrations of the voice near my mouth or ear, the way the words and the breath slide over me, almost sensually. I love hearing that deep wrecked sex voice and knowing I created it. Tell me what you want to do to me.

22. I have a very, very, very, very secret fetish for piss desperation. Just, watching a girl (It's usually a girl in the videos) holding it in until she can't and she pisses herself. It really turns me on. And the noises. Little moans and squeals and oh gods. And the shame at the end. It's intense. I don't want to be peed on or pee on anyone or drink it or anything. I just love watching them absolutely lose it.

23. I kind of want a kissing friend. Just someone I'm close to, a friend, but we make out sometimes. I don't know how to approach it, though. I live in a very lily white, "look at the new BMW daddy bought me, we're off to the lake house, ta" sort of area. I don't know if those kids would be into that. And I would want someone close to me, one of my own friends. I have sexy friends, I'll admit it. I don't need an emotional connection for sexual activity.

24. The Brittany and Santana relationship on Glee is what made me realize liking some girls and being a bit more manly was okay. Sometimes my friends call me Brittany.

25. I once let a couple girls and a guy do body shots off me. I loved it. LOVED IT. Probably way too much to be normal, but I love it. I love the way the tongue feels on my stomach and the way the tongue flicks into my bellybutton for just a moment. It's so sensual to me, I'm a really tactile person.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

1. I'm a 24-year-old biological female, and I am attracted to men, yet I think of myself as androgynous and queer.

2. I have been a tomboy ever since I can remember, as I have always been attracted to masculinity. I wanted to be it and to have it. When I was 5 or 6, I used to pretend I was a boy when I played either by myself or with others. I have always thought of myself either from an entirely male perspective or from a gender-nonspecific perspective (e.g. human).

3. I have always been highly sexual. I think the first time I experimented with masturbation, I was about 7 or 8. It happened accidentally. Somehow I ended up touching myself. I didn't even know what I was doing or what it was called. But then I began doing it whenever I had the chance. I think about sex a lot, every day.

4. When I was about 13 I started to be fascinated with and attracted to gay sex. At first I was kind of ashamed of it, but the more I thought of it, the more it made my heart pound and every inch of my body throb. So much so, that I fantasized I was physically a male myself, as I had always wanted to be, and having sex with other males. Later, I discovered that the terms which most closely described me were "girlfag," "autoandrophile" and "genderqueer," but I'm not really sure these terms encompass my identity entirely.

5. I have had sex with both males and females, and I have an insignificant attraction to females, while I am absolutely in love with the male body and masculinity, and genuine masculine behavior (not fake machismo).

6. Claiming that i'm a gay man in a woman's body may sound corny. However, I thought about sex reassignment many times when I was younger. Unfortunately, my current body morphed into a male wouldn't satisfy me, as I have quite a feminine physique - I am too short, too slender, too narrow and, with the medical knowledge of today, I would not be able to have a functional penis.

7. I love gay porn. I can become aroused watching both straight and gay porn, but clearly gay porn tops it for me. The best material for sexual arousal.

8. I have fantasies of being a guy and being dominated sexually by another guy. Anal sex, oral sex, facials, creampies, you name it

9. I also have fantasies of dominating other guys (not as frequent as being dominated though)

10. I would love to have successful anal sex. So far I've tried it once and it didn't go too well (I wasn't very comfortable with it, and the guy wasn't lubed enough).

12. I find it very hard to express my identity and sexuality openly, due to the very narrow niche I seem to fall into.

13. After several failed attempts at relationships, I am convinced that a potential long-term partner for me would have to be insanely open-minded and, of course, bisexual.

14. Otherwise, I'd rather be single and take my pleasure where I can find it than waste time on boring straight dudes with dull sexualities and zero imagination.

15. As a teenager, I struggled with my sexuality and even considered seeking medical help or therapy to help me embrace my femininity, which I constantly rejected.

16. In the true tradition of the ancient Greeks, I feel that homosexual love is the most beautiful and glorious of all romances. To me, it by far surpasses heterosexual desire. I don't think of myself as a female variant of those dudes who like lesbian sex. I don't just "like" gay sex, I feel like I should be a man involved in it. Nonetheless, the sex act itself is not the only thing that makes me identify as queer. To me, queer is a state of mind and a state of being which, sprung from sexuality, ramifies into all aspects of life.

17. I know I am quite a physically attractive female, and I am very disenchanted by the heterosexist men and women who approach me. And most men and women are heterosexist. The more they are so, the more they turn me off, and the more they don't get why.

18. I never see myself getting married or having children, or living any of the socially comfortable, gender normative lifestyles.

19. If I were physically a man, I would neither be a macho nor a sissy.

20. If I were physically a man, I would be versatile sexually, but since I am attracted to more masculine, dominant men, I'd most often be a bottom.

21. Most of my natural mannerisms are quite masculine, although I have learned to behave in accordance to the female gender norm, under pressure from my family, peers, etc. I don't like it and I am struggling to minimize it.

22. However, due to my slender physique and my preference for tight clothing, I often come off as a punky rocker chick rather than someone with gender dysphoria.

23. I am very liberal about sex and admire sexually open people, gay, straight, male, female, intersex, androgynous, genderqueer, you name it. I like reading about sex, sexuality, sexually challenging, gender-challenging, non-normative sex, queer theory, feminism, sexual liberation, sexual revolutions, cultural impacts of sex, etc. I think one of the biggest of the social problems in the western world is our shame with sex.

24. My sexuality has affected and affects all aspects of my life. I find it intriguing how people want to belittle their sexuality.

25. My big sex fantasy right now is to have a threesome with two bisexual men. I want to see them fucking before me.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

1. I entered my fourth decade a little while ago. While I've thought for a long time that I would never get married, I thought I would have had at least a few more relationships by now. I've been semi-attached for a grand total of 13 months in my entire life.

2. I've known for as long as I can remember that I like girls as well as boys (I'm female). It was never an aspect of myself that I felt wrong or confused about. I don't publicise it very much, but I will talk about it openly if it comes up in conversation.

3. I worked out how to arouse myself from a really young age. I remember being in about year 1 at school and rubbing myself against the monkey bars. I told the year 6 girls it was called the butterfly dance.

4. My first sexual experiences with other people were with my younger sister and cousins. I think I was about 9 and my sister was 7. It was pretty full-on stuff over a few years. We've never spoken about it since. I wonder if she ever thinks about it.

5. The thought of incest is actually still a bit of a turn-on for me. I used to fantasise that I had a twin brother and that we slept together all through our adolescent years.

6. The neighborhood kids used to fool around a bit too (all under the age of 10). I actually don't remember everything that happened. I know there was definite finger penetration, but whether it went beyond that, it is just very elusive in my mind.

7. I somehow lost the ability to finger myself from maybe about 11-16. I remember prior to that being able to get multiple fingers, Barbie dolls, etc, inside myself, then it was just like I stiffened up and couldn't even get one finger in for years.

8. Everyone else had boyfriends except me during high school. I felt like a bif of a social 'tard (still do sometimes). They were all starting to have sex and I hardly even kissed anyone unless it was through spin the bottle or something like that.

9. It was pretty similar after school, maybe because I was already a bit behind. Other people were going out drinking and having casual sex, but it just didn't seem right for me. It wasn't like I thought saving your virginity was important, but it would have been nice for it to be kind of special.

10. I was 19 when I gave my first blow job. It was 5 days into a group holiday with 15 friends. I had a crush on one of the guys and at the end of a bottle of vodka decided I should just go for it. We were going for it in the hotel pool and I didn't realise that some of our friends could see everything out the window of the hotel room. He told me he didn't believe it was my first time. He wouldn't return the favour... said "he didn't go down on chicks." It was like a slap, and the humiliation of that whole episode stuck with me a long time.

11. I give good head. I know that sometimes it's just a thing that guys say, but I can tell by what they don't say that I'm doing it right. I like giving head (to males and females).

12. I started taking drugs when I was 20. It opened up a whole new world for me and completely changed my social circle. I met my first boyfriend when I was 21, but we didn't actually get together until about 6 months later, after he had moved interstate. We had sex the first weekend we spent together. I didn't orgasm that first time, but I did several times over the weekend. I wasn't in love. I thought I was later, but I'm sure it was just lust. As far as first times go, it was pretty sweet. We had a lot of laughs.

13. I still fantasise about his cock sometimes. I don't care that much for size generally, but his was great-looking.

14. I've slept with a couple of my friends' ex-boyfriends. I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe because I get off on the idea of things I can't have.

15. The first girl I slept with was the ex-girlfriend of my first boyfriend. She came on to me after we went out drinking one night and I was crashing at her place. It didn't even occur to me to say no. It was such a different experience, just bringing each other to orgasm over and over again. Thinking about it now is making me wet.

16. That same week I had my first threesome (MFF). It was with a couple I'd known for a while. I'd always suspected I was a bit of a voyeur. Watching the two of them fuck confirmed it. I love, love having multiple people in the bed. I was third party to their relationship for several years until we amicably decided to move on. I learned a lot about technique, communication and relationships in general from that situation.

17. I'd really love to have a MMF threesome. They don't necessarily have to be up for sleeping with each other, though that would be a definite bonus. I like men who are comfortable enough with their sexuality not to be homophobic.

18. During the second sort-of relationship I had, I slept with other people. I never told him and we are still friends. He deserved a whole lot more than I could give at the time (that's probably just an excuse for poor behaviour on my part). The sex we had was not earth-shattering, so that was a deal-breaker anyway. Sexual compatibility is very high on my priority list.

19. I had a fivesome once. I walked in on some friends fooling around at a party and somehow ended up with my clothes off. I wish that would happen more often.

20. I've slept with 11 people (8 guys, 3 girls). Apart from number 11, I know the first and last name of all of them. Number 11 was my first true one-night stand. There are other people I've slept with only once, but I knew them before or stayed in contact after.

21. I've never faked an orgasm. I don't see the point.

22. I have masturbated in every place I have worked.

23. I can bring myself to orgasm in under 30 seconds. Most of the time I just rub my clit. I think it's a little bit out of laziness. I have to work harder and it's messier if I finger myself.

24. I recently masturbated while driving at 110km/hr on the highway. I saw stars when I came.

25. I haven't had sex in over 2 years. I feel quite torn between whether I really would like to keep sex as something reasonably special and the fact that sometimes I just ache with the need for it. Sleeping with randoms doesn't really do it for me. About 90% of sex is mental for me, which usually translates into being attracted to friends. Everyone seems to be getting married/partnered up at the moment, and it's pretty difficult to meet people when you aren't really outgoing. I'd like to think that I will meet someone soon who pushes my buttons intellectually, as well physically, but it doesn't really seem likely. I could write a whole other post on 25 things about my love life to explain the reasons behind that.

3: I think of myself as bisexual because there were always fantasies about girls and women. My first love was my best friend at the time. Realizing she did not love me put me in a long depression.

4: There are times when I think I could be queer as well. Especially imagined characters turn me on--strong passionate women mostly. But then there is him.

5: I'm not sure if I'm in love with my best friend. Everybody around him says he is just the best person in the world. He seems to overlook that all the girls around him are falling for him sooner or later. A friend told me that I'm just desperate and lonely and that it doesn't make sense to build up any hopes, but they still pop in my head unasked-for.

6: I've had a few sexual experiences. As a kid I used to persuade other girls to try sexual experiments and role-plays. I think that might be normal, though I'd like to do it nowadays too! I had my first boyfriend at the age of twelve, he was a bit dumb, we just kissed and it was awful! At fourteen I met another boy, and at sixteen I had a 3-hour experience with a stranger.

7: So, I've been living like a nun for nearly 7 years now...

8: Though I'm quite sure nuns masturbate. Do they? Are they allowed to? I do as long as I can remember. Orgasms, however, came with puberty (at least in my mind), dividing into two different kinds:

9: There are daily orgasms that make me feel like a man, quick, short, not-spreading...

10: ...and then there are the ones that take some time and freedom of mind, which spread wide and are intense as hell. The only way I can get to them is by pointing the water-jet out of the shower cover (after removing the head) on my clit or circling it.

11: My cognition is very sexual. I can't help looking wherever a sexual connotation could be, though I do not like porn. I tried watching it, but it leaves no real feel-good-effect on me.

12: I do masturbate a lot, sometimes twice a day or more (mainly to the short orgasms). I cannot help wondering how other people's habits are.

13: My friends just started talking a bit about sex by having it. For me it was always important.

14: My roommate told me that strangers think about me as experienced in relationship and sexual matters, like I would need no one.

15: I forgot to say that I am not what everybody would consider a beauty. I am inconspicuous and weigh 200 pounds, and I'm 170cm tall; not extremely ugly but nothing breathtaking either.

16: Worse than that are my other physical scarcities: I like my boobs but they're different sized, right smaller than left about one cup. And I am considerably hairy: fine, long dark hair all over my body, it's a nightmare, though shaven. That's why I feel unattractive.

17: 25 things 'bout my sexuality... well what to write if you don't have much of it? It's the first time I've been honest to block about that topic.

18: Except for that described friend, I am the only virgin among my friends I know. He spent half a year abroad without hooking up with someone.

19: Statistics say 2% of all people are asexual, could he be? Or is just not into me and I should bloody well stop brooding over him?

20: When I'm grown up (I know) I want to have intercourse with a woman at least once. Curiosity!

21: I can even imagine a threesome (big deal).

22: Soon, I'll be a fully educated social worker... how can I have missed one whole facet of adulthood?

23: Fantasizing about sex, I like it rough and passionate: pressing against walls, biting, scratching, being told what to do... No bondage stuff or other things in that direction, but I love to lose my head in lust.

24: I just had the impulse to send this to everybody in my address book in the desperate hope somebody would say: it's all right, you're completely normal and lovable and sexy, here is how to succeed.

25: Yes, I am afraid to end up as an old maid, especially with my whole family asking stupid questions and telling me 'bout being married with children when they were my age. It sucks!!!

Monday, March 21, 2011

1. I’m a mostly-straight 31-year-old Caucasian guy. I started masturbating when I was 11 or 12. I had already found much of the erotic material in the house, including a copy of Anais Nin’s Little Birds and multiple boxes of my father’s naked-girls magazines, including old copies of Playboy and Oui from the early '70s through the early '80s. Throughout my teens, I raided these stores often, secreting individual magazines away in my room in various hiding places for later use and masturbating wherever they were. I tried to leave the boxes the way I found them, but I was probably about as subtle as a tornado. Probably for that reason, the boxes kept moving: first from Dad’s closet to the attic, then to the basement, etc.

2. I masturbated constantly throughout my teens, but my method changed over time. At first, I gently rubbed the inside of my right wrist against the ‘front’ of my cock, just below the head. This depended on both cock and wrist being as dry as possible; otherwise they produced unpleasant friction. As I got older, I started using my fist instead, in the more traditional/stereotypical way, usually in the shower (as I lacked lube). I also came up with another seemingly less common method that I still use when I don’t want to use lube (often when I masturbate while watching something on my computer): I place the pointer and middle fingers of my right hand at the spot just below the head of my cock – by far the best-feeling single part of my whole body – the thumb on the other side, and then rub rather hard in a tight clockwise circle until I come. Lube isn’t necessary because the skin of my fingers is in constant contact with the same patch of skin on my cock. I find the superficial visual similarity between this method of mine and the stereotypical female masturbation technique pretty interesting.

3. When I first started having orgasms, the sensation of climax was not accompanied by ejaculation. That came later (no pun intended), and when it did I was worried I’d broken myself. At around the same time, due to the weird hormonal tomfoolery that is puberty, one of my nipples (I can’t remember which one!) changed from the flat, massless thing it had been to having some sort of useless spongy tissue behind it. But it was just the one nipple, not the other. I mentioned it to my parents after awhile, and they were sufficiently concerned to bring me to a (female) doctor, who poked me and prodded me, including giving my testicles a brief, clinical fondle, and asked if there was anything else that had changed. I felt like I should say something about how now, when I masturbate, gooey fluid comes out of my cock, but I was too embarrassed. Her diagnosis probably wouldn’t have changed: you’re in the throes of puberty, and everything will be fucked up for awhile. After a few months, my other nipple underwent the same process.

4. When I was a kid, I had a largish stuffed bear. During the day, he was a stuffed animal (and had, when I was younger, been either an ally or an enemy in endless mock battles of various sorts), but at night he transformed into a girl. I made up elaborate romantic/sexual stories with a fair amount of kissing involved, the culmination of which was ‘sex,’ which involved lying on my back with her/him/it lying above me, placing my penis between her/his/its legs and masturbating the normal way until I came on her/his/its hindquarters. Needless to say, the fur on that particular patch of fabric wore off and discolored in a rather telling way. I can’t express how happy I was to hear, later in life, that many women start masturbating with the help of a particular stuffed animal. I retain no sexual interest in stuffed animals, thankfully.

5. I’ve had sex, which I define as "any of the participants have an orgasm and/or there’s penetration," with 9 people: three guys and six girls. Despite this first-glance near-parity, as I said above, I consider myself mostly straight. I’ve kissed or made out with many more girls than the above. Something like eleven. I’ve had three long term relationships, all with women. K. and I were together starting when I was 17 and split up when I was 21. The relationship with E started when I was 22 and ended when I was 25. L and I got together when I was 25, and we’re still together. I married K when I was 19, which was (of course) a bad, bad idea. We divorced when I was 22. E is a wonderful person, and we had very good sex together, though we ended up not working as a couple in other ways.

6. The other girls I’ve had sex with were as follows. The first was a high-school thing that lasted less than a year. We made out, and fumbled around under blankets, and each of us came a few times. It was all manual. The second was a sexual friendship when I was 26, when my then-and-current girlfriend, L, was away for some time in France (she knew about all of this, and did similar things during that same period – see below). We never had intercourse, but went down on each other and such. We stopped when L came back to the US, mostly at her insistence. We’re still good friends, and I’d be interested in restarting the physical aspect of our relationship, but she fairly clearly isn’t. The third was a graduate school friend of my girlfriend’s, let’s call her J.

7. The guys: A cousin, a year younger than me. We lived in neighboring states, and fooled around for a period of years during our early teens every time our families got together, which was often. It was mostly mutual masturbation or trading hand jobs, though we went down on each other a couple of times. We rarely if ever kissed or made out. The second was my best friend in high school –more on him below. The third was J’s ex-boyfriend, and again you can read more about him below.

8. I’ve been mostly-sorta-raped, by my best guy friend in high school. I spent the night at his house (okay, in his garage). We smoked pot and I got higher than I would’ve preferred, and I promptly fell asleep. I woke up with my cock in his mouth and his in mine, right before I came. I then felt obliged to finish him off, though mostly I wanted to get the fuck out of there. He came in my mouth and I swallowed most of it – some got on the collar of my shirt. I went into the house afterwards to get away, and remember not recognizing myself in the mirror. I mustered up the courage to tell my then-girlfriend, and she dumped me. His girlfriend laughed it off. That probably pissed me off more than anything.

9. I’ve had both a three-way and a four-way, both involving my current girlfriend and J. The four-way included us three and J’s ex-boyfriend. Both were nice, if somewhat confusing. The high point of the three-way was when the two girls came within seconds of each other, my girlfriend fucking me and touching her clit while the other girl straddled my face. The high points of the four-way were watching my girlfriend suck J’s ex’s cock while I fucked her from behind, and watching him fuck her. He’s the last boy I listed above, because at the end of what I may as well call the orgy, after the girls had both come at least once, I sucked him off while my girlfriend made me come with her hand. The hottest thing about making him come that way was how much the girls seemed to enjoy it.

10. My sexual fantasies have shifted considerably over time. When I was younger, my most common fantasies were of a girl masturbating, cunnilingus, or girls having sex with each other. I never fantasized about anyone going down on me, or any other man, or about any penetrative sex. Once I got the chance to go down on a girl on a regular basis, with K, that fantasy faded. But she only masturbated once when I could see her, so that fantasy kept going strong. At about that time, I also started to get off on the idea of the woman I love having sex with someone else. I still fantasize about that regularly. More recently, because I’m fortunate enough to be with a woman who lets me watch her pleasure herself, the woman-masturbating fantasy has faded somewhat. I have for the first time in my life begun fantasizing about sex involving men and women: women sucking men off, men and women fucking, men coming on various parts of women’s bodies (breasts, faces, cunts). These fantasies always involve a woman, and the most arousing part is her desire – she always desperately wants what’s happening.

11. I love, love, love going down on a girl. I knew long before I was sexually active that one of the things I most wanted to do was make a girl come with my tongue. There’s something so exquisitely sensual about it, and quims are simply the most beautiful, sexiest things in the world (unfortunately, none of the available nouns do them justice). I desperately desired to go down on the high-school girl, but she lived in the same room as another girl – and yes, this means that all of that making out and sometimes-orgasmic fondling occurred with other people around, usually doing the same things – so we had to keep up a certain ‘plausible deniability.’ The first girl I ever ate out was K, the one I later married. We were both instantly hooked. Over the four or so years we spent together, virtually all of her orgasms (at least hundreds, if not more than a thousand) were from cunnilingus. E also loved getting head, and definitely had the majority of her orgasms that way. My current girlfriend not so much. I only get to get her off with my mouth maybe once a month – but none of her other sexual partners have ever made her come that way. I’m told that I’m exceptionally good at giving head, but I’m not sure I quite understand why it would be difficult. It seems like skill is less important that sensitivity, empathy, and paying attention.

12. I’m much less partial to having someone go down on me. I prefer hand jobs to blow jobs, generally. K never went down on me. My second did, and it was sort of a revelation at the time. My current girlfriend is the first woman who has swallowed my come. I come in her mouth fairly often, but usually someone’s hand is involved.

13. I’ve had anal sex, both on the giving and receiving ends. E liked anal quite a bit – her asshole was almost like a magic ‘orgasm now’ button, especially when I used a finger there in conjunction with my tongue on her clit. I’ve been fucked in the ass with a dildo by E and my current girlfriend. We invested in a strap-on for her, which she seems to love. I don’t give it up very often, though, because I have to be in a very particular mood. The orgasms I have with something in my ass are incredibly powerful; I’m usually very quiet during sex, but orgasms involving anal make me make noise. My girlfriend is only just coming to enjoy her bum. On rare occasions she likes just a finger or a very small vibrating dildo there, usually while either my cock or fingers are inside her cunt. We’ve tried my cock in her ass twice, starting earlier this year, but it’s quite a lot for her to handle, and will likely always be a rarity.

14. I’ve always felt ‘queer’ in a gender sense, despite not being particularly ‘gay.’ Part of this is that I would’ve preferred to be female for a large chunk of my life. Girls just seem cooler, more respectable, even still. Most of the despicable bullshit in the world – war, environmental destruction, etc – comes from men or masculine thinking and action. Add to that the fact that I’ve felt weird about my cock until fairly recently. I think that’s partly because it repulsed my wife – she never wanted to do much with it other than fuck it. I’m getting over this, mostly due to the fact that my current girlfriend simply adores cock, especially mine. It’s hard to feel bad about something that someone you love is pouring adulation upon. Still, my girlfriend and I like playing around with gender roles more than I ever have before. She likes dressing me in dresses, and often when she’s fucking me she fantasizes about being a boy and coming all over me (sometimes in her fantasies I’m still a boy, sometimes I’m a girl). Sometimes it’s just incredibly arousing to be fucked as a girl.

15. I think I have a physical type: shortish, dark, with short dark hair, small breasts. So, of course, my current girlfriend – the girl with whom I’ve been happier than I’ve ever been with anyone – is a completely different physical type: tall, with blonde hair and large, luscious breasts. It’s fascinating. She is by far the best lover I have ever had. She enjoys sex quite a lot, and we have quite a lot of it. She’s a somewhat shy person, but is very outspoken and demanding sexually, which I love. She comes most often from fucking me while either rubbing her clit or using a vibrator on it, which is incredibly sexy to watch and be part of. She’s perfect for me.

16. Every long term relationship I’ve ever been in has been an open relationship. This dates back to my first long term relationship, with K. Very soon after we met, when I was 17 and she was 18, she went to South America for nine months. We carried on a long distance relationship, complete with letters and “I love yous” and every schmaltzy thing you can think of. She tearfully confessed to me a few months after she returned that she’d made out with 37 guys while down there, writing such sappy love letters to me. I realized a few things. I wasn’t particularly upset – what was the big deal? I didn’t believe that anyone would ever not at least want to do sexual things with someone other than me while in a relationship with me (and, of course, I wanted things with other people too). I would much rather find out about it at the time than be lied to and have things hidden from me. And I couldn’t deny that I found it hot. So we talked about it, and I came up with a set of rules I’ve had in every long term relationship since: fuck anyone you want, as long as you a) tell me about it first, b) be safe, c) continue to put me first in your heart and life, and d) describe it for me afterwards. Every woman I’ve been with has taken advantage of this opportunity. K let guys finger her in bars. E had sex with a guy in Fargo and, on one drunken evening when I was out of town, a mutual friend, his girlfriend, and her brother (not, thankfully, all at once). And L is racking up a truly impressive tally: since we’ve been together, she’s fucked her ex boyfriend, an Argentinian in France, two different guys in D.C., a medical student, a puppeteer, her female graduate school friend (in the three-way and one other time just the two of them), that friend’s boyfriend (in the four-way), and jerked off and been jerked off by a guy friend in a tent on a road trip. She continues to fuck her ex on a regular basis, including once within the last two weeks. I’ve taken much less advantage of these situations, mostly because it just seems to be easier for a woman in a relationship to find no-strings-attached sex than for a guy to find the same (or maybe I’m just not trying very hard).

17. Despite looking at nudie magazines as a kid, for years I really didn’t have much interest in mainstream porn. My dad’s Playboys and Ouis were so tame, just naked girls. I don’t find nudity particularly erotic – seriously, it’s just people not wearing clothes. But the porn available in the late 80s and early 90s was so bad: fake breasts, fake hair, fake nails, fake orgasms, shaved cunts, makeup, bad music, etc. Not hot. So for much of my 20s I avoided photographic or video porn, and got into literary erotica – I have a whole bookshelf filled with dirty books. I kept looking, though (I am a guy), and finally two different dynamics created visual porn that I find watchable. The first dynamic is woman-centric, real orgasm centered websites like Beautiful Agony and I Feel Myself. The second is the rise of user-generated, real-people sex tapes. I feel a little funny about these sometimes, because it’s likely that at least one of the participants has some second thoughts about having their sexuality on the internet for the rest of time, but they're undeniably hot.

18. I write erotica. Much of it is from a female perspective, though not exclusively. Having read quite a bit of the genre, I believe that my work is as good or better than most of what sells. I’d like to sell some, but I can’t figure out how. I hate the business aspect of any creative endeavor. It’s an ongoing frustration.

19. I would say that on average, since I was about eleven, I have averaged at least one orgasm a day. Very rarely does a day go by in which I don’t come somehow, at least once. It’s something as reliable at this point as eating, sleeping, etc. I find that somewhat comforting.

20. I like to do sexual things in unusual places. I’ve eaten out a girlfriend and been subsequently jerked off in a tree in the middle of a public park. I’ve masturbated at work, at school, on trains, buses, planes, in public restrooms, in the back seats of cars. I’ve had sex at friends’ houses, in my garage, in tents, in the woods, in canoes, in lakes with people swimming all around. For a while, E lived in the same room as a mutual friend, and we often had all various sorts of sex – intercourse, anal, oral, you name it – while he was in there sleeping (or pretending to sleep). I’d like to do more of this sort of thing.

21. I find phone sex and sex over the internet pretty interesting. I’ve had phone sex and ‘cybersex’ (I hate that term, it makes people sound like cyborgs) with my past two girlfriends, usually while we were physically separate for a period of weeks or months. I’m generally much more interested in hearing what my partner is actually doing than inventing some sort of grandiose fantasy in which we’re doing something together. When I was in my early 20s, back when my longing to be female was much stronger, I would often pretend to be a girl and masturbate online with strangers. More recently, I’ve only engaged in online sex with people with whom I’m already sexual. One of the most interesting things about online sex, especially via gmail, is that a record of the conversation is kept. While we’ve been together, my girlfriend has come online a couple of times with her ex-boyfriend (once in a student lounge at school!), and she’s shared the transcripts with me. They're quite hot.

22. I’m basically a big voyeur. My desire to watch and listen is much greater than my desire to be watched. I love hearing another couple get it on, even when I’m not attracted to either of them. I’m a homeowner now, but this was definitely one of the nicest things about renting apartments in duplexes and larger buildings. In one place, I shared a common wall with a couple that must have just gotten together, their lovemaking was so constant and so drawn out. I’ve heard roommates getting busy through heating vents, strangers in motels and bed and breakfasts, etc, and liked it every time. One especially interesting period was after E and I had broken up and I’d started going out with L. I’d been living with E and another friend, but moved out for a couple of months to give her some space. Then I moved back in, and lived on the front porch for awhile. During that time, she took up with another guy. We’d stayed close (to the extent that, before she started this new relationship, we masturbated together on several occasions, which had been somewhat emotionally trying but also quite lovely), and she seemed to take a certain malicious pleasure in telling me how great the sex was, that his cock was larger than mine or any other she’d ever had, etc. (She was clear that I was still the best head she’d ever had, though.) And she wasn’t shy about letting/making me hear them fuck. I got myself off a number of times while listening to them, sometimes from my 'room' on the porch, and sometimes from closer to the room we’d shared until recently. I then discovered that the light from her bedroom window reflected just so off of the windows of the neighboring house (which was only a few feet away) that I could see them. So I watched them, whenever I had the chance, and enjoyed it profusely and orgasmically. The voyeuristic thrill I’ve had more recently is that my girlfriend and her ex have, on a couple of occasions, taken pictures of themselves while they fool around. I’ve been able to see most of these pictures, and I’d very much like to see them all.

23. Recently, over the past six months or so, L and I have gotten into something new: me coming on her face. It’s something I never would have expected to find hot – it can be or seem so misogynistic, so much about hating and defiling a woman. But it’s hot, and I can’t deny it. Much (if not all) of the newfound sexiness of coming on her face is that she really, really likes it. One of our favorite new activities is for her to masturbate while I come on her face. Another helpful thing is that she also enjoys fantasizing about coming on my face, sometimes as a girl (though she never has in reality, I would love it if she did) and sometimes as a boy. And sometimes we pretend that my cock is hers, and sort of dangle my upper body off the edge of the bed so that she can, in effect, come on my face. All of these things are recent, all are an increasingly common part of our sex life, and all are exquisite.

24. I adore women’s body hair. Not just pubic hair, though that’s one of my favorites, but leg and especially armpit hair as well. This may be, in part, a preference for countercultural aesthetics more generally, but it’s also much simpler. A hairy girl is just much prettier, to me.

25. I love talking about sex. Since I was a teenager, I’ve liked having female friends that I can talk to about sex. In high school, my female friends and I talked about our sex lives almost incessantly – masturbation, oral sex, intercourse, whatever. Sex continues to be one of the most fascinating topics of conversation for me, bar none. I love this site, for that reason – it’s great to see how varied people’s sex lives are, how infinitely unique.