Life under the thinking tree

I’m grateful, thank you!

Recently I have seen a lot of blog posts about being grateful. The other day when I looked at my blog stats I genuinely shed a tear. I didn’t know it was going to be so emotional for me and I feel a bit silly for doing it.

I tried telling people around me that don’t have the writing ambition and they didn’t really understand why it means so much for me. So I thought I would write it down here, as a thank you to all you out there that enjoy my content, likes, comments, follows.

Dyslexic

As a kid I loved telling stories. What I loved most about it was people’s way of reacting to my stories; sadness, laughter or excitement. I became rather soon good at coming up with stories for my friends and family.

Someone then told me when I was around 8 that I could be an author. As an avid reader I was overjoyed and it just made sense to me.

Then the word Dyslexic fell into my lap. I had a very mean teacher as a kid. When they found out I had this she restricted me from borrowing books from the library. We went as a class once a month. I was not allowed to borrow a book for my own age group but more like….”start reading books”. And not more than one.

Some incidents I remember with her was one day when my glasses was broken and I was struggling to go through the day without them. We had an hour of reading time and I tried very hard to pretend to read the “start reading book”. Suddenly she asked me to read out loud. I didn’t see the text so started improvising, making a story up.

She snatched the book out of my hand and started laughing and saying that I couldn’t even read something as easy as that.

Another memory was when she asked everyone the day before summer break what they wanted to be when they grew up.

“An Author” – Elin, 12 years old

I replied loud and clear and she gave me a smirk smile.

“To do that you need to know how to spell, Elin” – Teacher of the year

I made my mind up to crush her smile and prove her wrong. After this I stopped playing and being with the other kids. I came home from school and wrote, page after page. First by hand and when I got older and got my first computer I used that.

Everything I wrote ended up on a huge external hard drive.

High school

In high school I met two wonderful friends who also loved writing. We started sharing and helping each other out. We also started a writing club after school with the school librarian. I also met a Swedish teacher that loved helping. When I sent him a one page novel he sent two pages back with good and bads.

It was during this time of my life that I did most of my writing. I also had the chance of being in the local newspaper for my novels.

Death

When I left to go to the university the most horrible thing happened. On my hard drive I had around 1500 documents in different sizes. Starting on books, novels, poetry….everything I had written since I was 8.

My brother did an update on my computer with the hard drive attached to it. Everything was gone. I screamed and cried for days and both my brothers laughed at me like I was a crazy person.

But to me it was death. Everything I had sacrificed to write, to make my dream come true. It was all gone and suddenly I felt like my purpose was gone.

I could restart….

But I couldn’t get those 12 years of writing back. So I stopped. I drown myself in my studies to be a librarian and worked 4 night and weekend jobs. I never wrote again.

Vince

I never tell people this about me. Because it sounds like I threw everything away myself and I wasn’t strong enough to pick myself up after I fell. And it’s true, I didn’t.

Then I met Vince. Before we met physical (When Elin met Vince) we talked. We talked a lot. Or I should say, I talked a lot. Never have anyone been patient enough to listen to me for hours. We sat up all night talking over Skype.

One of the things I told him was this. He could see I wanted it. So this year he encouraged me to begin again.

“Write Elin. Anything.” – Vince

And so my first blog was created. “Engelska Frun” meaning the English wife. I started it on a Swedish blog website.

I wanted his and my family to read and because it was about our relationship and he is British I couldn’t just do it in Swedish I thought.

But soon I got problem. English people didn’t understand how to leave a comment or follow because the site was all in Swedish. And Swedish readers only commented that they wanted to me to write in Swedish.

So I thought I should leave all of it and start a WordPress. A place where more people can understand and it be more natural to write in English.

In 5 days I had 60+ followers and that’s more than I got in months on the Swedish site. Not that it really matters but suddenly I felt very overwhelmed with the thought that seeing people warm and nice comments meant I once again made people happy. People enjoy my content and my stories.

Grateful

I might have dyslexia and I’m not fluent in English. But I try!

This is what I love!

I do it out of love to entertain others. I want to make you smile, cry, laugh or just make you feel something.

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Published by Elin's Era

I'm a former Swimming pro, after getting nerve damage in my jaw I started coaching instead. After a few years of doing this, I became and librarian. This was the best job and I loved it.
At age 26 I realized I was mentally bullied by my closest boss and I decided I was at the lowest point in my life. I started hating myself and everything I did felt like a failure. So I took the big decision to quit my job.
While quitting my job I felt freedom but it only lasted a few hours. Anxiety from my parents worrying about my future and my pension hit me hard. I was a girl with a plan, I knew what I wanted and I always succeeded in getting it.
Now I stood without a job, I was single (or at least in a complicated relationship with a man from England) and I had no idea what to do. I moved back to my parents and so a new chapter started.
I created Rise Up Diaries as a way to daily log everything I did. But also get a reason to leave my self-pity and patheticness behind in my bed. I needed a reason to leave the house and to see the world and to find happiness again.
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31 thoughts on “I’m grateful, thank you!”

I too have dyslexia! Just because I mix up my i’s and e’s doesn’t mean I can’t read… I am really sad you had a teacher that discouraged you. I am glad you found someone to make you relive your dreams. Also your English is really good for not being fluent!
For me blogging has become just a little area of therapy. I chose to start my blog because I wanted a place to share with others, while doing something I enjoy. I doubt I will ever become a famous blogger or have thousands of followers, but that doesn’t bother me since it simply is my escape from the 8-5 work life.

Thank you for your wonderful comment ❤️ Well i know roughly 12 languages xD plus even thought My teacher Said No to ”normal” books in school. Doesnt mean i didnt read at home. Think i read Stephen king when i was 13-14. I have more trouble with writing Than Reading too. If i have never heard or seen the Word i Will not know how to Write it xD

I’m glad you are writing again. My daughter (now 29) is dyslexic and she also had a horrible teacher (first grade). But she had many more wonderful teachers who encouraged her and helped her graduate high school and go on to college. Today she is a happy, postitive and productive person. I write my blog to let family and friends know what is going on in my small corner of the world. Keep on writing!

what a wonderful story 😀 I didn’t have a good teacher until high school ^^ And that was the Swedish teacher i talked about. I had one more chance to give and to trust a teacher. And he changed my point of view ^^ He even said he couldn’t tell I was dyslexic so I guess 3 h every night studying the lexicon helped me :3 Hope you will have a wonderful day ❤ and say hi to your daughter from me.

Hi Elin, I work with many students who had similar upsetting and painful school experiences but I’ve found that writing helps heal the hurts. You have a lovely voice, keep writing…no looking back now! Much love, Marie

I absolutely loved reading this. I have a child with additional learning needs, like you, he encountered a inconsiderate teacher, it took a while to get his confidence back. We encouraged him to put his feelings down on paper. He now writes wonderful poems and stories which he enjoys sharing with us. You have lovely writing style and interesting content. Keep shining!

Thank you 🙂 and what a lovely story. I would love to read his poems 😀 and i wish all the best for him. I do know how it feels to be looked down on and treated like you arent as good as others! Keep fighting!!

So interesting to read your story, so similar to mine. I too have dyslexia, write in my second language, had people to proof wrong and read and wrote all my life. Never believing that I could write and people would like to read it. Keep going! I love how you write.

Elin! I’m a bit numb, I don’t know what to say. I know what you mean by that Death. And I’m sorry you had to go through that pain. But you weathered it! And this lovely human being came into your life because of it. Thank you for sharing. I don’t read much anymore, but I truly feel as if I see what I am meant to. I thank God for that. Please know that you are a blessing to many.

Elin,
I am so sorry you had such a cruel teacher. I’ve worn glasses since the second grade. I found out I am near-sighted when I couldn’t read the chalkboard. Anyway, I could relate to you when your glasses broke.
I think I can understand how you felt when everything you wrote disappeared. That would be heartbreaking. I am glad you are writing again. Keep at it, never give up!

Hi Elin—I just found your blog and read this, and just had to leave you a comment. I am a published author, have been for a decade now, and have taught writing classes. I cannot tell you the number of authors, published or unpublished, have been similarly discouraged. Do not let having dyslexia stop you from telling your stories. Dictate them using a program like Dragon Dictate if need be. Have someone you trust read your work and offer to correct the spelling (though there are some caveats to that too if you choose someone who ends up discouraging you more.) but the thing is about writing? No author sits down and writes a perfect book the first draft. We ALL need editors and proofreaders. But our skill is telling the story. So for your first (and second) drafts, concentrate on the story and don’t worry about making mistakes. If you do that, you will paralyze yourself. Just tell the story. And enjoy yourself!

I cant but agree with you 🙂 as a librarian today i know this way to Well. But as a kid. You dont ^^ and thats Why i told the story. The older you get the more you know etc.
hope you Will have a wonderful day 🙂

Dear Elin,
We may live on different continent, speak different languages, and come from different generations, but we have at least one thing in common, dyslexia. I never thought I could write because I could not spell and I mixed up my sentence structure a lot. But these last few years I wanted to write and tell stories, centered around food. So I started a food blog.
Fortunately, I did not experience cruel teachers who have no understanding of learning disabilities. I could have because I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s and learning disabilities were not acknowledged back then. But I did have a role model, my Dad. He also had dyslexia but he went to Ivy League schools and was an accomplished surgeon. And I also new Einstein had trouble learning how to read when he was a child.
Keep up writing in both languages and you will continue to grow.
Thank you for visiting my blog and liking my post on Creamy Tomato Mozzarella Salad. I really appreciate it.
Ginger
Lemon Thyme and Ginger

I always say coincidences tell me I am where I’m supposed to be. This morning, I picked up a book (Katie Couric’s “The Greatest Lessons I’ve Learned”) and turned to a random page. It was Jay Leno’s anecdote about being the class clown and always wanting to write — but he was dyslexic. I’ll let you rent the book to finish the rest (his story may even be online somewhere), but considering the fact you liked my post and the story I read from you said you’re dyslexic, I thought I’d confirm that you are where you’re supposed to be and you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing — just in case your stats didn’t already tell you that. 😉

You write because you have to…don’t let brothers, hard drives, dyslexia (did you know Tom Cruise is dyslexic?), naysayers, or native language stand in the way (Girl With The Dragon Tattoo). Tell your stories as you have in this blog. Well Done!