Friday, January 20, 2012

I think it's really funny that Rob Lowe is breaking huge news on his Twitter page. He claims that he has a "darn good" source stating that Peyton Manning is done with football and that's good enough for me. Granted, his source is either Andy Dwyer wearing a Reggie Wayne jersey or Detlef Schrempf, but whatever. I'm not here to judge. If Lowe wants to break big ass NFL stories, then that's cool. Let's be honest, I'm sure that Pralines and Dick is closer to Peyton's inner circle than some dork like Mort or John Clayton is. Basically what I'm trying to say here is that you should expect Ron Swanson to unveil some earth-shattering news about Stihl Timbersports any day now.

I guess that the Colts are interested in naming Jim Tressel as their next coach as well. Whoa! That would be some fun stuff. That would be some promotion from "worthless guy in a box" to head coach though. Tress might be back! WEEEEEE!!!

I can't believe that I forgot to mention this earlier this week but in the waning seconds of Florida State's buggering of North Carolina last weekend, Roy Williams pulled his Heels off the floor for "safety" purposes. Colonel Sanders was a fraidy cat about fans storming the floor. WHAT A BITCH! Soulja Roy has been around long enough to know that you take your losses like a fucking man and that means dealing with the students in opposing gyms. You don't yank your guys off the floor just because you let some asshole name Dulkys knock down a million threes. Pussy shit. Not even a faggot like Coach K would pull that crap. North Carolina and Lange are shitbirds.

Now, time for my predictions of the Conference Championship games. I had a fairly productive last week going 5-3. Prime owned all of us with a 7-1 weekend. mdrgolf made his triumphant return with a solid 5-3 slate. And bringing up the rear were Dut, Brady, and Jeff who all went 1-7. Clearly, they know nothing about football. Wait a minute--Browns fan, Browns fan, Steelers fan...yep, they know nothing about football. Onto the picks with the standings to follow:

The Wire @ Cheers -7.5 O/U 50.5
I find it absolutely hilarious yet somewhat commendable that Ed Reed openly calls Joe Flacco a shit salad yet #5 gives no fucks. That's sort of cool actually. EVERYONE is on Flacco for being Trent Dilfer's bastard son but he still keeps his ELITE swagger that he has no business having. I would compare it to Eddie House who is a God awful basketball player but will shoot 35 footers and not even think twice about it. Great analogy, G$! Flacco is Eddie House! The Patriots appear to be on a mission again. I think that they sense that the Giants are waiting in the wings and they want their revenge. So I expect them to take care of bid-ness on Sunday afternoon. Basically, I don't want to see two straight weeks of Ray Lewis interviews. He sucks. And GRONK, N-WORD is going to spike a ball through his stabby chest. Patriots 31-17 UNDER

Gotham City @ Lisp City -2.5 O/U 42.5
Apparently, ELITE Manning has been leaking doo-doo butter the past few days and this is a story that the media wants to blow out of proportion. They don't realize that the luckiest QB of all time just has to close his eyes and wing it and someone on his team will catch it and score. I am rooting for the Niners big time because I don't like the Giants and I do like Harbaugh. It's pretty simple. But do I believe that they can beat a team as hot as NYG? The Giants aren't going to put a loser like Malcolm Jenkins on Vernon Davis all game. They will stuff the run. Michael Crabtree is going to have to actually catch a football. Basically, that's what I think it comes down to. If Crabtree can be a stud, the Niners and NFL MVP David Akers will win. Unfortunately, Crabtree sort of blows. And San Fran won their Super Bowl last week. They can't do it two weeks in a row. Should be a good game, but get ready to watch ELITE Manning celebrate like a ferry. New York 24-23 OVER

Honestly, you have to be a real idiot to not pick a New England/NYG Super Bowl (which probably means that we're going to get a terrible Harbaugh Bowl rematch). You know that it's going to happen. So enjoy the football this weekend and we'll be back on Monday to laugh at the players that cost their teams a Super Bowl title shot (Joe Flacco).

56 comments:

G$,Soulja Roy should have pulled his starters with about 15 minutes left in the game and should have sent them to the locker room. After watching that game here is my thoughts on my Tar Heels..... trade tyler zeller, who is as soft as a fleshlight, for cody, send henson to fast food restaurants for the next month and pray that neither marshall or barnes get hurt. No chance for a title this year unless our big men get tougher.

Will anyone watch a Harbaugh Bowl? That will be about as terrible as watching G$ on Big Brother.

G$....You left out the part that Roy Williams left his scrubs/walk-ons on the floor while he and the good players all walked to the locker room! What type of cocksucker does that! Just awful. I've despised that man since he was at Kansas and I learned that he forced the Freshmen to go to church with him. Fuck. That. Noise.

Spot on Grump! I liked how Roy said that he had no clue that he left them out there too. What a bunch of bull-shit. It doesn't even make sense. He had his players and him walk to the locker room EARLY....but, now he's saying he thought they just stopped the game? Fuck you Roy Williams....Fuck You hard.

Drew, if you want to talk about Urban Meyer's new crop of future convicts, let me know well in advance so that I can shut this site down. It's going to be a great day when he dies on the field next year.

I didn't know that Soulja Roy left his walk-ons out there. That's sort of funny that he doesn't care about them. If they die, they die!

Mike and Mike read an email from some dumb cunt in Indy this morning that said that if they drafted Luck and got rid of Peyton she would stop being a Colts fan because Peyton IS the Colts. Go fuck yourself, lady.

I meant to write about this in the post but it is starting to become apparent that the Browns want RG3 and would be willing to go to 2 to get him (from what I'm reading). I like it for them actually. I guess that leaves the Dolphins and Skins to fight over Peyton (if he plays) and Flynn. I'm ALL IN FOR FLYNN.

One more time, Brady doesn't understand this sport that we call "football".

The delay in g$'s payment is due to hesitation in buying the supporting trophy to go with the championship. I have no excuse for Lange. Actually, I'll wire the $$ when I get off the shitter. I am usually elite on paying people their dfl earnings.

Osu is going to pull in black to black top 3 classes. Me likey.

I went to trivia night last night with some coworkers. I got 3 questions right, bitches! I was a bit disappointed by the team names though. There is a new waitress there with PERFECT tits to go along with a petite body. Very nice!

Did grumpy set the over/under on joe flacco incompletions at 3? I think I'll take the over on that.

Urban has been at OSU for two months. Anybody that signs in this class knows they aren't even in playing in a bowl next year. Yet, he has already taken a terrible class to # 3 in the country....IN TWO MONTHS. That is ELITE. Just think what he's gonna do for next year's class.

STOP TALKING ABOUT RECRUITING. No recruiting conservations will be tolerated until I get my money and fleshlight from Dut. Speaking of that weasel, he was all gung ho about the winner of his league receiving a fleshlight and now apparently he has cold feet? What the fuck?

Why would the Steelers sign a practice squad QB now? That makes no sense. I'm going to have to side with Grump-diggity on this one.

Stoops and Mac BrownChip Kelly (although they don't tend to land 5* QB's because of their system).Va TechWhoever is at SC tends to land some ridiculous talent. Kiffin isn't on Carroll's level, but he's pretty damn good.

That's five.Depending on the year, I guess you could count Chip Kelley/ND and then rotate UGA/Da U/Michigan/Tennessee/Auburn/FSU when they are on upswings in talent.

MUDawg....you are fucking retarded. UFM is a top 2 recruiter...there is not a single recruiting analyst that would tell you otherwise. You just said Beamer is a better recruiter than UFM. You are done now.

G$...They are called future contracts. You're stupid too. The Steelers signed ten of them just two days ago.

G$...I have also noticed that there is nothing on Google about Troy Smiff, but these radio guys are reporting it. So, I think what's going on is the Steelers are keeping it hush hush....cuz' they want to make a HUGE presser about getting a talent like Heisman Trophy Winner Troy Smiff!

Drew, this is Iceman's defense mechanism. When Michigan had the #1 class 2 months ago, you couldn't get him to stop talking about it. Unfortunately, that was when most of the top tier guys hadn't chosen a school yet. It was a "house of cards" #1. NOw that the big boys are choosing schools (Ohio State for the most part), he is acting like it isn't a big deal again. Most of these guys had Michigan on there list but decided to go with a winner. His feewings are huwrt. It's going to be so much fun kicking the shit out of Michigan for the next decade.

Once again...Brady's scarlet and Gray anal beads have prevented him from putting things in the correct context.

When I talked about recruiting, all I was doing was defending Brady Hoke since fuckeye fans seem to think he's completely incompetent as a head coach, recruiter, etc. I was simply pointing at his ability to recruit while being a relative no name coach and being at a program for only one year. I did not mention a single name of any player and "how great" they were going to be. I didn't jack off to "5 star defensive lineman A" and swear on my unborn children that he was going to be a blue chip stud for 4 years.

We all know Urban Meyer can recruit. Anyone with a fucking pulse knows that. So what do you hope to accomplish by constantly throwing that in people's faces when they really don't give a fuck and you aren't presenting new information to the conversation?

Once again...to recap Brady. And I'm talking real slow for you so your Neanderthanl fuckeye brain can handle it...I was simply pointing to Hoke's ability to bring in the recruits fuckeye fans claimed he couldn't. Simple as that. You can go back to stroking it to Rivals.com now.

Drew, I do see the correlation. I'd just rather the recruit get some time at the collegiate level before I go all in on the guy. For every 5 star that goes nuts there's another that works at Burger King. Shit...some of the best college players are 3 star guys that not everyone wanted. I just know there's more to a player than a star rating system.

No doubt Iceman...one of my favorite recruits in the OSU class is one of the lowest ranked ones. He was a 3 star before being bumped up to 4 stars on Rivals yesterday...yet he's still outside of their top 250.

As much as you want to stroke Hoke off for recruiting....let's see next year. He was just given this recruiting class on a platter as OSU had a whole year of "potential sanctions" looming and no real head coach to recruit against him. He had an absolutely dream scenario. Let's see if how he does when Urban's battling him.

Arguing over recruiting is "litrilly" the dumbest shit ever. Nobody is really right or wrong on the argument, but it always creeps up at in opportune times- like two days before the AFC and NFC championship games or the day after Situation did the dip. Talking Jersey Shore is far more important.

Prime- I'm completely fed up with all the nfl championship talk. I dont care what eli manning had for breakfast or what alex smiffs mindset needs to be before the game. There is way too much coverage and I would much rather discuss recruiting or the jersey shore (which has been terrible).

Drew, all I asked for was proof. You have not earned the right be taken for your word. This signing makes the Steelers worse so I'm all for it.

Good point, Prime. Jersey Shore is way more important than sizing up 18 year olds. I have almost everything on this show figured out (you'd have to be a moron not to), but I have no fucking clue what "did the dip" means and why it is such a big deal. Sitch just walked out the door last night and J-Woww's awesome fake tits went all nuts that he DIPPED!

Good to see The Unit get kicked out of Karma last night. Bad to see that his real name is John and not actually The Unit.

I've switched my running schedule to run in the morning instead of evening this week. So, I actually listened to Mike & Mike for the first time in years twice this week.......and BOTH times they were talking about Peyton Manning and the Colts. Are you fucking serious? Do they talk about anything other than the NFL? I actually think G$ is borderline retarded for being a daily listener to those two.

I'm gonna watch teh NFL games, but they can quit shoving the NFL down my throat on the radio and TV. I'll stick to dick in my throat thank you very much (someone woudl have made that joke)

I'm not gonna deny that Hoke benefitted from the OSU sanctions, Drew. Clearly he did. But he now has a Sugar Bowl trophy from year one to show recruits and has also proven he can win with anyone. I know Michigan's schedule wasn't eye poppingly tough last year but the fact remains he won a BCS game with players he didn't recruit and who were completely wrong for his system. Some teams never recover when a DickRod situation happens. If Hoke can rebuild the destruction of DickRod in one year, I like his chances against Urban Meyer in the recruiting war.

Sorry, G$. Maybe we can talk about all the 2-star guys Miami OH is raking in. Or maybe the Yankees 6th set up guy and how much of an impact he's going to have in the 6-8th inning this year. Maybe then you won't feel so left out.

This has not been confirmed by Drew or Rob Lowe yet, but I'm told that G$'s DFL fuck trophy has been ordered and will be arriving in 5-10 business days. The DFL Commish claims that the website in which the "trophy" was purchased in incredible. I can confirm that sentiment.