Shop's own-brand tea bags. Three Colours Red's second album. Any T-shirt in a size without at least one X in front of its L. The Mill is no stranger to the immediately regretted purchase. And neither are Liverpool. The Reds' unceremonious flogging of Carroll – to anyone who's willing to buy rather than borrow – will raise funds for an unlikely £15m bid for Arsenal's Theo Walcott. Brendan Rodgers is "desperate" to sign the Gunners' winger, reckons the Sun, but he'll face competition from Chelsea and Paris St-Germain.

In wonderkid news, Manchester City are ready to beat off competition from Arsenal and Tottenham for the signature of Caen's 17-year-old striking sensation M'Baye Niang. An offer of £6m would persuade the French side to do business, but any less would only provoke the wrath of Caen.

In wondertoddler news, Manchester United, Manchester City, Arsenal, Liverpool and Aston Villa are forming an orderly queue in front of Birmingham's 13-year-old Foday Nabay. Blues will be due compensation of around £65,000 for the central midfielder who was born in 1998. 1998!

Internazionale have offered Julio César to Tottenham. The goalkeeper has apparently been told he will not be first choice at San Siro next season. Spurs were keen on Lyon's Hugo Lloris, but may have had their heads turned by the Brazillian stopper's chiselled jaw.

Manchester City are "monitoring" Celtic's Victor Wanyama. City want the Kenyan midfielder to provide back up for Yaya Touré, what with Garry Barry crocked and Nigel de Jong eyeing the exit. Liverpool, Newcastle and QPR are also interested in the 21-year-old.

Manchester United will offer £10m to Everton for Leighton Baines. Everton want £15m. United won't pay it. Everton say that's the price, take it or leave it. United say fine, be like that, we're off. Everton say now don't be hasty, this is quality goods is this, takes good free-kicks and everything. United say we'll think about it.

West Ham are edging closer to a £5m move for Sochaux striker Modibo Maïga. Stoke and Reading are loitering with intent should the deal collapse.

Aston Villa are on the brink of an £8m deal for Feyenoord centre-back Ron Vlaar.

Stoke have been told they will have to pay £2.2m if they want USA! USA! USA! midfielder Geoff Cameron of Houston Dynamo. That's £500,000 more than Stoke are willing to pay.

Luka Modric is close to a £30m move to Real Madrzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...

Cardiff will tell Fulham to do one with their £2.5m offer for Peter Whittingham.