Lincs bloke fined in deceased hedgehog outrage

Broad daylight cable-laying rocks the Fens

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A Lincolnshire man who decided to take a dump on a dead hedgehog on a roadside verge in broad daylight has been fined £100 for the cable-laying outrage.

Victor Ford, 34, was caught with his pants down at 1.20pm on 3 July, when a passing copper spotted him on Balmoral Avenue, Spalding, "squatting over the grass verge with his jeans around his knees".

He pleaded not guilty to "outraging public decency by defecating in the street" when dragged before Spalding Magistrates’ Court, but later took the rap when the Crown Prosecution Service "offered a lesser public order charge".

Judge John Stobart slapped Ford with the £100 fine, as well as £85 costs and a 15 quid victim surcharge.

Further details are promised in today's print edition of the Lincolnshire Free Press, including "the amazing quote Ford told the arresting officer and the advice the judge gave Ford should the situation ever arise again".

While we wait for these revelations, we offer you this view of Balmoral Avenue, and for the sake of the children, we sincerely hope this isn't the scene of the erinaceous Eartha Kitt: