A Womanís Questions

No matter how old you are and how many books about sex you have
read – questions still remain. The problem is that you have nobody
to ask. Maybe your secret question is among these.

Sex after delivery

Three months ago I delivered a baby. When will my desire return?

It is difficult to feel sexy when you don’t have a single free
minute for yourself and when you wear your husband’s shirts instead
of seductive outfits because it’s convenient during breast-feeding.
But young mothers lose desire not only because of this. The point is that
after delivery, especially if you breast-feed, your body begins to produce
prolactin (the hormone that subdues sexual desire). It is a signal that
you are not yet ready for a new pregnancy. This state can last for about
a year and the only thing you can do is to wait patiently. Even if you
have no desire to make love with your husband, don’t stay away from
him: touch him, kiss him, be tender. Then he won’t feel forgotten.
But if the desire does not come back after a year, it is worth consulting
a doctor. Probably you have a hormonal imbalance or postpartum depression.

Sex and pregnancy

What is the safest position for coitus during pregnancy?

There is hardly only one best position in this situation. The main thing
is that during coitus, a man’s body must not press down on a woman’s
belly. Try the side position – face to face or with your back to
your husband. Another safe variation is for you to be on top. In this
position, you can control the process and make it the most comfortable
for you. Don’t forget that during pregnancy, it is a good idea to
use condoms to avoid infection.

Use lubricant

Sometimes after coitus I have slight bleeding. Is it normal?

Yes. Because of light vaginal secretion, small cracks may appear that
bleed after coitus. In this case, use extra water-based lubricant. If
you have no problems with wetting, consult with a doctor. Bleeding can
be the symptom of an infectious disease or tumor.

Pay your husband a compliment

My husband feels offended when I touch myself while making love
with him. He thinks I am not satisfied with him.

Try to teach your husband how to touch you to give you pleasure. To
begin, put his hand in yours, make him feel your movements. Then guide
his hand as you wish. If it does not help, talk to your husband: explain
to him that some women can experience orgasm only by masturbation, and
that you are one of them. Try to convince him that it is not his fault,
but just your peculiarity. Do not hold back compliments; tell him how
marvelous he is.

Breathe correctly

What can I do to reach orgasm more quickly? Usually it takes me
from 45 minutes to an hour.

If you cannot reach orgasm as quickly as you would like, it is very
likely that the reason is incorrect breathing. When your body is strained
your breath becomes uneven and you feel the lack of oxygen. It prevents
you from relaxing and reaching orgasm. First, breathe often and deeply.
Second, think or even talk to your partner about something stimulating
before sex.

Do not be afraid of oral sex

It tickles me when I practice oral sex. What is wrong with me?

Everything is all right! The clitoris is such a tender spot that it
really tickles many women, especially if a partner caresses you with the
tip of his tongue. Suggest that your partner try different oral touches
and you will certainly find the one that suits both of you.

Try upright sex

I’d like to try upright sex, but I have no idea how to do
this.

If spouses live together for a long time, they get used to each other
and for them sex becomes a kind of a routine ritual in the same place,
at the same time. Upright sex helps you to revive the times when you desired
each other so much that you forgot to take off your clothes. Still, there
are two technical difficulties. First, differences in height. This can
be overcome if you put on high-heeled shoes and your partner bends his
knees. Second, to keep your balance you need a prop. Try, for example,
to kneel on the sofa and lean with your hands against the wall. One more
variation is to put your foot on a chair and hold onto the back.

Share your dreams

I feel too shy to tell my husband about my erotic dreams. What can
I do?

You could tell your husband that you had an unusual dream or watched
a film or that your friend shared her sexual fantasies with you. You will
have a chance to describe your erotic dreams in bright colors and, at
the same time, your husband will not have to realize them. It is quite
possible that he will become interested and begin asking for details and
finally suggest trying what was discussed. If not, don’t be upset