Love Lessons From “Downton Abbey”

Remember the end of last week's Downton Abbey episode, when everyone was laughing and smiling and playing cricket? We really wish the third season had ended on that note. Instead, our eyes are still puffy from the finale. It was a rough season overall: For the past few Sundays, we would excitedly turn on PBS only to have our hearts broken. The Crawleys didn't lose Downton, but they did lose one daughter AND one son-in-law. Even the Dowager Countess' quips couldn't lift our spirits.

Last night's episode brought an end to both the sniffle-inducing season three and to the show's central love story. Mary and Matthew had a messy romance, but they--along with the show's many other couples--taught us timeless love lessons this season. You might not have the Crawleys' wealth or wardrobes, but you can still apply their relationship advice to your own modern-day romance.

Edith and Anthony: Communication is key

Of course Edith was left at the altar. Of course she couldn’t just be happy for once. We saw it coming, but it didn’t sting any less. Their relationship always had major issues, but Edith brushed aside Anthony’s concerns whenever he tried to have The Talk. It’s important to make sure you and your man are on the same page–especially before you’re ditched in the middle of your wedding.

Sybil and Branson: Don’t take your love for granted

This season had a theme: One baby equals one death. Sybil, who won our hearts with her sassy pants outfit, died just as viewers had been lulled into thinking she was in the clear. The sacrifices she and Branson made for each other proved that their love was deeper than the Irish Sea. Even though sudden death seems to be more common in the world of Downton than in reality, it’s worth remembering that you should make the most of every moment with those you love.

Robert and Cora: Try not to dump all your anger on your partner

Lady Cora took Sybil’s death even harder than the throngs of sobbing Downton fans, and that’s saying something. Blaming Robert for Sybil’s death wasn’t going to change the fact that she was gone–it was just going to make things even worse. Fortunately, the Dowager’s meddling put the marriage back on track (could you imagine splitting up that estate in a divorce? yikes). We all get upset and irrational at times, but before you point fingers, take a deep breath and calm down.

Alfred and Daisy: You can’t force someone to love you

There must have been love potion in Mrs. Patmore’s soups this season, because the new downstairs staff was pretty frisky. The only problem: None of the feelings were reciprocated. As Daisy found herself entangled in a love triangle, she desperately tried to woo Alfred to no avail. There’s something to be said for persistence, but if a guy doesn’t realize how fabulous you are, he doesn’t deserve you.

Bates and Anna: Long distance is sometimes worth it

We’ll admit that we were occasionally bored with the whole Free Bates plotline. Still, we admired Anna’s dedication. Did they have some low points? Sure. But the struggles paid off when Bates was able to watch Anna dance at the Scottish party. Being apart is rough, but it can make your relationship stronger in the long run.

Thomas and Jimmy: Read the signs

Something remarkable happened this season: We started sympathizing with Thomas as the chain-smoking scoundrel became infatuated with a dreamy new hire. Blinded by his crush (and egged on by the ever-mischievous O’Brien), he ignored that the flirtation was completely one-sided. As a result, he nearly lost everything. Even if you have intense feelings for a guy, you might need to face reality and accept that he’s just not that into you.

Matthew and Mary: Choose someone who brings out the best version of you

Why couldn’t the credits have rolled right after Mary and Matthew cuddled with their new son? After two seasons and countless setbacks, they seemed to finally have their happily ever after–but of course, the heart-wrenching finale shattered that illusion. Before the crash, the sometimes-cruel Mary said she aspired to be the person Matthew saw in her. Nobody is perfect, but true love means finding someone who taps into the most perfect version of you.

Isobel and Doctor Clarkson: You might find love when you aren’t looking

Before we were stunned by Matthew’s bloodied face, the season finale did have a few charming moments. Isobel turned out be be a bit of a minx as her relationship with Doctor Clarkson grew. True, she insisted they were just friends, but we’re still holding out hope that next season will have more weddings than funerals. Fingers crossed!