Epic Meal Time Creates Giant Pork Cheetos

Just in time for Game Day, the crew at Epic Meal Time have created more culinary affronts to nature called Pork Cheetos. And they look delicious.

Our arteries seized up a bit just by watching this video, even though it's one of the tamer ideas to come out of the Epic Meal Time kitchen. The idea? Take a good, old-fashioned snack like Cheetos and make it so much more awesome. To do this, the Epic Meal Time crew takes some Cheetos, some pork loins, an energy drink marinade and a milk shake of epic proportions and then turns everything into a feast fit for some truly massive kings.

The first step is to marinade the pork in energy drinks, using 8,150 mg of the stuff, totaling 16,500 calories. Not content to stop there, the crew injects the meat with 12,150 mg of more energy drink for a total of 24,500 calories. While the tenderloins are in the oven, bags of Cheetos are emptied out into a food processor and ground up into crumbs.

To accompany the tenderloins, they start creating bacon-wrapped Cheetos, which consists of nothing more than a layer or two of bacon wrapped around Cheetos puffs. This side dish equals 1,250 g of fat and 28,650 calories. Harley Morenstein comments that if we dropped bacon-wrapped Cheetos on foreign countries instead of bombs, there'd be world peace.

The next step is to take the crushed Cheetos, some powdered cheese and some honey to cover the pork loins in "Cheeto Ashes." That's 1,472 g of fat and 36,675 calories.

What good is a meal without anything to help it go down? To this end, the crew, with the help of some guests like FreddieW and Jimmy Wong, create a 250-Hour Energy Drink with a bunch of Monster and some ice cream, totaling 24,150 mg of energy drink and 37,575 calories. The rainbow ice cream bomb they drop into the drink totals 1,572 g of fat and 45,575 calories. Whew.

They slap everything together and stack the loins as if they were building the pyre for a Viking funeral. Actually, with all of this good stuff going into their bodies, we're surprised a funeral didn't happen.