Tag Archive | "Singapore"

Posted on 28 March 2017

Thousands of Singaporeans from all walks of life, who are gay and happy, are shaking their heads in disbelief.

This after they found out that they are still gay despite being exposed to hundreds and thousands of hours of media featuring heterosexual scenes for years on mainstream media outlets but have not turned straight yet.

This follows the occurrences where straight people suddenly turn gay having watched or seen one scene featuring homosexuality, such as the recent Beauty And The Beast movie.

One homosexual Singaporean, Gao Geh, said: “I find it amazing that watching one scene featuring a gay person on screen can make a straight person engage in homosexuality, while I can watch endless hours of straight people in media hooking up and starting nuclear family units but am still gay as a nipple.”

“Something about a gay person on screen is such a potent force.”

Other locals said converting from one sexual orientation to another overnight should not be underestimated as this metamorphosis could stem from personal experience.

One homosexual local, Lai Zuo Ai, said: “Those who can become gay at the snap of a finger are gay from the start.”

“When anyone warns other people about becoming gay, they are actually warning themselves.”

Posted on 09 March 2017

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who can smell irony from a mile away, are nodding their heads and smiling to themselves.

This after they heard that panellists at the Singapore Management University (SMU) Behavioural Sciences Institute forum, Han Fook Kwang, Kishore Mahbubani, Tommy Koh, Chan Heng Chee and David Chan said Singapore needs more naysayers who can challenge authority.

One Singaporean, Jiang Zhen De, said: “A group of government sycophants and apologists telling Singaporeans they need to be naysayers and ask difficult questions and challenge authority?”

“I am sure this group of people have gotten really far in life being the opposition of the government elite.”

“Look at them. Totally made a career out of being diametrically opposite of the government and sticking it to them.”

Other locals said there is nothing wrong with asking other Singaporeans to take risks on behalf of other people.

Another local, Ni Xian Qu, said: “It’s always nice to see people succeeding because of the system asking other people to take risks to question the very system they are a part of.”

“If this isn’t rich, maybe they can personally join the opposition now that they are going to retire and feeling cushy.”

Posted on 25 February 2017

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who can smell irony from a mile away, are nodding their heads and smiling to themselves.

This after they heard that panellists at the Singapore Management University (SMU) Behavioural Sciences Institute forum, Han Fook Kwang, Kishore Mahbubani, Tommy Koh, Chan Heng Chee and David Chan said Singapore needs more naysayers who can challenge authority.

One Singaporean, Jiang Zhen De, said: “A group of government sycophants and apologists telling Singaporeans they need to be naysayers and ask difficult questions and challenge authority?”

“I am sure this group of people have gotten really far in life being the opposition of the government elite.”

“Look at them. Totally made a career out of being diametrically opposite of the government and sticking it to them.”

Other locals said there is nothing wrong with asking other Singaporeans to take risks on behalf of other people.

Another local, Ni Xian Qu, said: “It’s always nice to see people succeeding because of the system asking other people to take risks to question the very system they are a part of.”

“If this isn’t rich, maybe they can personally join the opposition now that they are going to retire and feeling cushy.”

Posted on 22 February 2017

Singaporeans from all walks of life, even those from the 70 percent, are nodding their heads and looking thoughtful at what is to come.

This after Singapore is set to increase the overall cost of living by 30 percent to raise awareness of the importance of life, as the only way to know something is important is if it is expensive.

One Singaporean, Bu Yao Ming, said: “Sometimes Singaporeans take life for granted. It is good to remind them that life is important and the only way to draw their attention to it is to increase the overall cost of living.”

“If the price goes up, the importance goes up as well.”

“The greater the pinch, the higher up the priority list.”

Other locals said there is nothing wrong with increasing or decreasing prices as and when one feels like it.

Another local, Mai Huan Loh, said: “They can increase the price of PAP membership and still no one will care.”

Posted on 28 January 2017

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who wonder how different the country might have turned out, are getting hit by waves of nostalgia.

This after they are experiencing 1990s conditions where there were much lesser people in Singapore this Chinese New Year, as an estimated one million foreigners left Singapore the past week to go back to their home countries to celebrate, with commerce and businesses grinding to a halt and an eerie calm has overtaken the country.

One Singaporean, Guo Xing Nian, said there is an appreciable change in atmosphere as the streets are less crowded and even the roads have become more empty: “Really feels like the 1990s where there were less people. The whole place seems to have a sense of normality and calm that I’ve not experienced at any other time throughout the year.”

“No feelings of claustrophobia at all.”

Other Singaporeans noted that this decline in the number of people in the country has improved living conditions as there has been a lesser need to fight for available space and the frenetic pace of everyday living has slowed down considerably.

Xiang Tong Nian, another local said he was surprised that this change is so noticeable, even though he has all along been well aware that Singapore has been reliant on foreigners: “Singapore must have more Chinese New Year public holidays. It will be good for everybody as there will be more days of emptiness.”

Posted on 23 January 2017

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who know an omen when they see one, are urging the authorities to think twice and repent for Singapore’s sins.

This after they noticed that the whole of Singapore flooded on Jan. 23, 2017, is linked to the biblical events of Noah’s Ark, where the world and humanity were destroyed as people turned their backs on God and chose a path of sin instead.

One Singaporean, Qu Jiao Tang, said: “There is no doubt that Singapore flooding is closely linked to the Noah’s Ark message. The speed of the water’s rise was biblically quick.”

“However, God probably thought twice about destroying Singapore as He gave chance for us to change, unlike what happened to the people who did not believe Noah and who had it coming.”

Other locals said given this new lease of life, the first step Singaporeans need to take to signal to the Alpha and Omega is that we are a changed people.

Another local, Yuan Liang, said: “The first step is to recognise where sin in Singapore stems from and it is obvious it comes from the name ‘Singapore’.”

“Therefore, we need to remove ‘Sin’ from ‘Singapore’ and replace it with ‘Righteousness’.”

“So, from now on, ‘Singapore’ will be renamed as ‘Righteousnesspore’.”

“And then we need to build an ark and put at Mandai zoo there, just in case.”

Posted on 12 January 2017

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who like walk on sidewalks and pavements but fear getting knocked down by bicycles, are applauding calls for Certificate of Entitlement to be applied to cyclists.

This after other ideas such as requiring cyclists to get licensed similar to car licenses have been mooted alongside having COE for bicycles.

One Singaporean, Hor Qia Long, said he supports this call for COE for bicycles: “It is really about keeping up with the times.”

“As cyclists increasingly feel entitled to ride on pavements and on the roads and behave like their grandfather owns everything, Certificates of Entitlement should be issued to go with this newfound entitlement.”

Tan Tua Lui, another local, said it takes a bit of social engineering to pull off the introduction of COE for bicycles: “One way to make COE more prestigious to cyclists is to introduce competitions like Subaru Challenge for bicycles.”

“This will allow cyclists a chance to win a COE under difficult circumstances to show how coveted a COE is.”

“And when more people have it, more people will want it. It’s a very Singaporean thing to do.”

At press time, acknowledging how drivers, cyclists and pedestrians use the roads will make them family as they all act like it is their grandfathers’ road.

Posted on 30 November 2016

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who appreciate that they can give tanks, are giving tanks profusely.

This after it was announced that Singapore will celebrate Tanksgiving Day on Nov. 23 every year from now on and will be making the day a public holiday.

One Singaporean, Gan En, said: “Since we gave China nine tanks on Nov. 23, 2016, it is good to look back on this day from now on annually as a reminder that there are other things in life to give tanks for.”

“Giving tanks should be customary and a ingrained practice.”

However, other locals said China taking the nine Terrex Infantry Carrier Vehicles do not really constitute giving tanks.

Another local, Huan Geh Wo, said: “No tanks, I’d rather they be mine.”

“Then, it would really be… explosive,” he said as he put on his sunglasses as The Who came on.

Posted on 07 November 2016

Minister in charge of Muslim Affairs Yaacob Ibrahim said the desire to see a Malay president in Singapore cuts across the Malay community.

Many from the community would, in private in closed-door discussions, be in favour.

This is so even though younger Malays have grown up with meritocracy as the basis of how society is organised and appear reluctant to see a “circuit breaker” in the Elected Presidency (EP) to ensure minority representation, he said.

Posted on 21 October 2016

Private tuition is what allows students to reach full academic potential.

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who recognise what works and what doesn’t, have come out to urge the government to take over the private tuition industry.

This after they said the billion-dollar tuition industry is what makes education in Singapore truly great and deserves to be nationalised to take over their best practices of helping students score good grades.

Currently, the public education system is focused too much on making students not hit their full academic potential as they are urged to be balanced and nurture other life skills.

One Singaporean, Pu Xi, said: “The public education system in Singapore is okay on its own at best. Most Singaporeans who have gone through it made it despite the public education system.”

“Because what really works is the private tuition industry, where the best help is rendered.”

“When the government makes private tuition a public good, it would be accessible to all, for all, without discrimination, which is truly fair and great.”

Other locals said making tutors become public servants would allow them to serve their true calling as educators.

Another local, Xi Shen, said: “Private tutors have been making scholars out of students and must be recognised as well as or even more than public school teachers.”

“By becoming on par with public school teachers, they can now carry out their tasks knowing they are doing it for other people’s benefit and not their own private gains.”