Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

^This. Asking about her legs while at dinner is an odd topic to say the least. It probably should have waited until later.
Still, you're not really at fault here for messing up your words a bit, we all slip every once in a while.

99- it would be like going up to a girl and saying, "Do you wear makeup?" I agree that fake tanning is stupid but people don't put on tanning lotion so people notice the tanning lotion- even if it sucks you should probably pretend it's normal, unless OP meant "girlfriend" as in "my female friend" and was trying to advise her on how to use tanning lotion, which I greatly doubt but if so that really should have waited until private.

I don't think that that's what OP meant. I think his girlfriend actually put tanning lotion, so OP asked his girlfriend if her legs are fake (trying to be an asshole) not thinking about her dad's prosthetic legs.

Miss Kay - Saying a comment is weak isn't constructive criticism, it's just criticism. That said, I can't write winners every time.
Would it matter if I said I hadn't slept in almost 60 hours and had 30 trauma patients in the past two days? No?
Damn.

pittyfinny - What exactly are you implying? That I should think about my patients and only my patients 24/7? That I shouldn't have time to do anything else like, oh I don't know, get married and have a family?
My time management skills are just fine, thank. I would say that I'd hate to have an idiot like you as one of my trauma patients, but I get idiots like you ALL THE TIME.