Credits

24.12.15

Caroling in Greece is somewhat different than what you see in the movies. It never involves pitch perfect people singing beautifully in harmony with bells. Nope. It's tiny humans who had no musical education in any way and can never sing on key with a musical triangle that they ring without rhythm or beat, banging on strange people's doors (always unsupervised, which I find very unsafe and unsettling!) at the crack of dawn and you are supposed to give them money. Also, those tiny humans get very irritated if you expect them to sing the whole song, which most of them don't know all the lyrics.
To all those people who allow their kids to come and ring my doorbell before eight o clock on Christmas eve, if I ever find out who you are, I will egg your house!

21.12.15

I got the most wonderful news today. Somewhere in between doctor appointments and exams and worrying about hypothyroidism and rai I was let know my condition is treatable and I am going to be okay. Of course we won't really know till it's done and I will have to check it every six months, but things seem as good as it could possibly be. I am still confused about the potential of metastasis into the lymph nodes. If I understood correctly it hasn't spread there but again we will be sure after the myriad of tests that await me. Currently I am trying to find the first possible appointment for the treatment because the longer I wait without hormones the sicker I get.
The only downside is that I also found out that because of a radioactive exam I will have to spend 20 days in the row away from my lovely baby and husband. I have tried to explain her as simply as possible and in the calmest manner. I am trying to make it seem as the most natural thing so she doesn't get scared. I am trying to focus on the silver lining. Through hardships we learn and she will have to deal with the fact she can't see mommy for a while and perhaps balance out a little her separation anxiety.
I don't know if I have mentioned it but when I first found out I begun crying over the fact I would have to be away from her for 10 days. Thank Goddess they didn't tell me right away 20. Through this experience I found out I have to deal with my separation anxiety too. I have been overwhelmed by the love people showed me. I let a few of my closest people which is so unlike me(noone knew I had the surgery). I did it because it felt like I was facing the situation head on and not hiding from it and people surprised me.
But in the middle of this unsettling situation we are celebrating Yule with a lot of happiness, laughter, gift giving, Santa and elf on shelf. She is so excited. She asked Santa for gummy bears, balloons, cookies, a pop up book, and a stuffed turtle. Although.... she asked Santa to send a pink fairy to bring the gifts because she is a little scared of him(weirdly enough!). And we have to bake a pink cake for the fairy and make a pink tea. Buying and hiding the gifts by the way was far more complicated than I could imagine! And it is quite possible she is on to us. I hope not!!
Blessed holidays to you all!

19.12.15

I am so much better today! I feel truly blessed in every way. I want to thank you all so much for your heartwarming love. Today I broke the news to my closest people and I have never been so much showered with love. I am so touched by all those people that are close to me and all of you!
Today I feel as if the dust has settled.Right now two candles are burning in front of me, and under their light I will read my cards and chant my words to the Goddess asking for Her guidance, strength and love. The scent of my incense will soon hug me in its warmth...Besides, the Winter Solstice is just a breath away and what better time is there to get rid of anything negative and harmful. May you all be blessed, loved and warm!

18.12.15

So, I got bad news. There was cancer. I have to take radioactive iodine. In order for that to happen I have to stop any thyroid medications and become extremely hypothyroid. This process will take approximately a month. After that I take the iodine and spend two days in quarantine and other 8 days away from my baby. And after that the whole ordeal is over. I am focusing on the positive. This too shall pass. Hopefully after that the process of achieving normal hormonal levels will be fast. I can't imagine how long that will take.
I knew all that before they tell me. I went today at my appointment to give me medication for parotitis and I knew he would have the results. I knew what he would tell me although noone believed me, because there was no indication. I knew it would be bad enough for iodine. But, still I had hope that maybe just maybe I wasn't right this time. But I was. And that's it. Let's hope it won't be as bad as I imagine.
I am sorry if I brought you.down. I promise that in my next post I will return to my usual cheerful self. I love you all.
Blessed be.

10.12.15

Just dropping by to let everyone know that everything went well. I am back home and the worst of this whole experience was being away from my baby. She told me the most incredibly moving things. She is so wise! As for me, I am almost pain free, though bloated as a balloon from all the medications. In about 10 days we will have the results of the biopsy back, so fingers crossed and spells chanted. Until then I am taking levothyroxine against doctor's orders because I won't go completely hypothyroid for no reason. You have to become completely hypothyroid before receiving radioactive iodine, but that is something you do if the biopsy showed cancer, so my self medication in the worst case scenario would only set me back 10 days. It is too painful to go through it just in case. I have to wait a few weeks to see if my parathyroids are intact and able to work. And as for my talking voice is fine, but I have to wait a month before I try singing because it would be too strenuous for my vocal cords. This experience taught me a lot about myself and our most human version. I have so much respect for nurses after watching them taking care of everyone tirelessly and lovingly. And I realized of course that it is important to chase after little happy moments with all our might.
I love you all. Take care of yourselves and loved ones.

1.12.15

Greetings dear blogfriends. I know I have been missing for a while now, but I had to contemplate some things and I wasn't quite talkative. It turns out that my operation was not considered preventive anymore but therapeutic. It was not safe anymore and I had to take the big step.
It was hard the first couple of days because I had to get over my greatest fears, including memories that have haunted me ever since I was a small child. But when the first wave of panic subsided a sense of calm washed over me. I am not afraid anymore. I am finally free. The operation is scheduled in a week as long as I am over my cold where I will undergo a full thyroidectomy. They are expecting to find some malignancy, but I don't believe this will be the case. I do believe it would eventually turn malignant, but I will be clean. I have kept it a secret from almost everybody, but I am ready to break the news. For the last month I have been a wreck, before my exams I had this horrible feeling steering in my gut. But as soon as I got the results I made an appointment with my new endocrinologist, two days later with the surgent and I set the date for just 12 days later. Although I have been running from this decision for the last sixteen years, once my mind was set I put everything in motion, before anyone had any time to adjust. My mom and husband freaked out, but I only lost my cool every time my voice was mentioned. But even this is in the past, I am serene now. The bad feeling is over now that I took the decision. I know everything will go well. I am sleeping better than I have in years and I have faith in my fate. I see my path clearly and I know it is different from my mom's. I knew it for a while now that this was how it was going to go and I kept fighting it. But this is for the best.
Right now I am nursing myself back to health from a mild cold.My surgent(who by the way is very Mc Steamy!) told me to take comtrex to speed the process along, which I think makes me kind of drowsy. If you have not tried it yet I fully recommend it. This is what drugs must feel like. Also last Thursday I threw my back out again, so as you imagine there has been a lot of resting on heating pads and well, gilmore girls.. Have you heard they are bringing them back?
I intend on decorating our Yule tree this Sunday with friends and family although noone has been informed of my plans. Right nowI am watching the most glorious sunset. The sky is dressed in the most beautiful colors and everything looks pink.
Be blessed, be loved and be free.

19.11.15

I had to share this with you. Magaly wrote a beautiful post in which she mentioned this article called "the spoon theory". This caused a deep emotional reaction in me, so I had to put this out there. Goodnight from me.

18.11.15

On November 13 2003 me and my wonderful husband kissed for the very first time after a nerve wrecking two month period of will they- won't they... We were hesitant because he was flirting that Summer with my best friend at the time and I had a fling with his and it felt so wrong and right(there is an awful pop song in there somewhere!). But then on that night we couldn't hold it in anymore, he kissed me and the world was immediately dressed into golden colors. It was late so we had to go home but right when I was turning the key in my door I received a text saying I love you and he got one from me saying me too. The very next day we changed our plans of going away to study and a year later we moved in together.
For our anniversary he gave me this pretty miniature unicorn which I loved and I gave him the money to buy a new cell phone ( thinking that when all your money are pulled together it makes gift giving kind of hard-cough cough- and this is what he wanted the most...hey stop judging me!).
For obvious reasons it didn't felt right to share this story with you on time. But a new blogfriend who has her birthday on that particular day and felt the same way convinced me through her post to share the beauty, the love and the happiness.
Be blessed, be loved and be in love!

15.11.15

I want to thank you all for your support and love not just about yesterday's post but for all those years. I met in this cyberspace a lot of beautiful people and so many of you touch my soul on way or another. But yesterday wonderful Toni did the most sweet and caring thing for me. She did a reiki request for me in her blog! Thank you dear Toni and thank you all for always being there for me, even though we all know I have never been the most consistent blogger. Well, you have all been the most consistent friends. I love you all always and forever!

14.11.15

Greetings blogfriends! How are you? I just want to say that my heart goes out to all French people. Sending all the healing thoughts, prayers and love my heart can hold. While I was contemplating the beginning of this post I started wondering when this blog became all about my health updates. The weird thing is I feel young(I am young!) and yet lately my body seem to disagree. I took my thyroid results back this week and it seems as all the different natural and alternative treatment I was doing on the side as well as the diet changes and workouts had no effect on my troubled gland. The nodule grew yet 2 more millimeters and my blood test showed a hormonal imbalance which explains why I can't seem to lose weight lately. So, that means I have to do yet another biopsy and everyone is urging me to take out the whole gland. But these are not breasts we are talking about, it is an important organ. I can't accept though that the best solution is the most violent one. I need to be convinced. This will affect my overall health for the rest of my life and although singing is not an issue anymore it still feels wrong. I am switching doctors again and when I am done with all that I decided to check out my back. But I do have some good health related news. My tooth will probably make it!I have to go and wake up my daughter now because she has a play date.

8.11.15

Helloooooo blogfriends!!! Today I am having a bad back day, but it was so worth it. Yesterday I had a dance party with a girlfriend. When my husband was at work (otherwise would be too embarrassing), we danced in frenzy. Every single thing we could think of for 3 hours straight. We even macarenaed. I haven't acted so goofy in years, it was exhilarating. It was so funny, because my daughter was here and she kept watching us with concern and disbelief . What is wrong with mommy? Why is she listening to that music? I usually listen to pre- classical music so who can blame her. I knew yesterday that the pain would come in breath taking waves but I wanted to feel free for once of the self preserving thought that now comes with every single move I make. It was wonderful. There is power surge in letting loose.
Chronic pain can re shape our form of thought in a significant way. But, this past week I watched a video in YouTube with a person who became totally paralyzed from the neck down and his strength of spirit was amazing. Life affirming thoughts have filled my mind ever since and I am ever so grateful for my beautiful life!
Be loved, be blessed and be free!

27.10.15

So, as you well know I went to the dentist yesterday. What you probably could not tell was that i have developed a certain phobia. I was not always like this but i had a few painful mishaps and here I am. He put some sort of drug inside my tooth and a temporary filling on top and if the pain subsides and does not build up I have an appointment on Monday to replace the temporary filling with a real one. So, as you can imagine I have taken it a step further with ginger and chamomile teas for their anti-inflammatory properties and I do not even work out in case the excess blood flow work against the healing process. No, not obsessive at all! I have a very healthy approach towards dental hygiene. You can say I put on the extra mile. Flossing is my best friend as is clove essential oil.
The Witch inside me prayed yesterday to wake up painfree. I drank some wonderful tinctures I have cooked up in the past. I put a few drops of my echinacea tincture in my chamomile tea and I drank a whole teaspoon of a very potent tincture I have made for my sleeping problems and back pain. The latter has passiflora, valerian root, chamomile and lemon verbena that where steeping in vodka for several months. It works well, but I can only take it at nights. Today, the throbbing in my tooth has stopped and a dull light pain is left and when I woke up I was completely pain free. So, my prayers(and all my spells) were answered. Now, it just has to be like that for the next 48 hours and I will be ecstatically grateful.
Be loved, be blessed and ...floss with all your might.

26.10.15

I am outside the dentist's office. Wish me luck!! I am brave! Hardly scared at all!!! Outside the Moon was amazingly beautiful! I chanted a spell a few times, rewritten for healthy teeth and stepped in! I will be fine!

17.10.15

This is the first time I participate in any blog party. This is mostly because I am always afraid I will forget, but this year MagalyMagaly (I am not sure how I added the second Magaly, but I kinda like it) really inspired me. So, here is my contribution into the party.
I breath your name into the air inside a circle white. Where there is salt can be no fault the witch's song I rhyme.

I breath my name Into the air, your soul a piece of mine. I miss you so, through burning tears I see the candle's light.
I feel your presence you are in my room. I smell you on my right. I turn to see, there's nothing there the veil I can not fight.
Where were you, it's been so long, you, only friend of mine.
I breath your name into the air, I breath it times nine.
A drop of blood my finger leaves, the burning mandrake to embrace

9.10.15

Greetings blogfriends! How are you? I am feeling great because today I woke up relatively pain free and I feel like I can conquer the world! I feel strong again and energetic. It turns out I was fighting off a bug because many people around me had the same thing. Which was a great relief because I didn't want to give up my current nutrition plan, since it is working so good for me. I am doing a variation of the warrior diet with a bigger emphasis on protein. Although intermittent fasting doesn't always work great for everyone, especially women, I gave it a try because I read it might have a positive effect on nodules. I haven't checked out my thyroid yet, but it gave me a boost on energy and my metabolism and I really got to enjoy food(you get to feast at nights). I found myself working out every day with vigor and my back was doing better(until I cleaned out the closets like there was no tomorrow). So, after doing it for months it took me by surprise to have any issues and when my husband, my mom and a friend showed the same symptoms with me I was so relieved it wasn't the diet. Fortunately, everything is back to normal, or at least what is normal for us.
Lately, I have been practicing a lot of magic with my little witchling. She loves grinding herbs in the mortar and pestle and throwing things in the fire. Sometimes, she chants along with me the spells she knows. There is a Greek version of twinkle twinkle little star that in the end says" God's things " and our version of course says "Goddess's things" and today in the playground somebody looked at us a little funny when she was singing it. The more time passes the more firmly I stand behind my decision to be open about our spirituality. Yes, there might be a few looks and even discrimination on occasions because this is the world we live in. But, I don't believe in living in fear and this is not what I will be teaching her. We embrace who we are, all that we are.
Now I have to go, because Mary Poppins is beginning and we have to sing along. So, chim chimney to all of you!

6.10.15

How are you my friends?? I have had a difficult couple of weeks pain wise. Not only my back was killing me, which meant really bad quality of sleep if any, but I have had nausea, dizziness, fatigue for days. Today at some point I caught myself sweating and it was really hard to focus and then it hit me. Hypoglycemia! I thought I was cured from it, so the thought didn't cross my mind. Ever since I gave birth for some reason, I didn't have any problems till now. I did a test it showed 65 and then I ate some carbs and was good as new. I guess this meants intermittent fasting is over for me, which is a shame because I had some great results. Everyone is telling me to let this plan go, but I want to make some tweaks and try if I can both fast and keep my blood sugar levels normal. Like the lemonades with stevia I used to drink and maybe a salad at lunch, instead of the 24 hour fasting I was currently doing. I still think that there has to be a specific reason for the sudden intolerance of fasting, but now I will be extremely cautious. My back feels better, I am not immobilized anymore, I do my daily trampoline (very lightly) and my daily yoga trying to loosen up all the stiff places and sore muscles again. But other than that I am resting on my heating pad for most of the day. But we are still getting ready for Samhein. Here is some proof.

26.9.15

Greetings blogfriends! I am having a bad week pain wise. I just have to realize I am not Superwoman and I will be okay. This happened because I cleaned up the closets full of baby stuff. Those of you that had toddlers know the clutter that one tiny person can accommodate. They are like small and cute hoarders. Her room is officially uncluttered and fully organized and I am trying really hard to maintain my sanity. The pain doesn't allow me a moment of relief and the endorphins sometimes make me dizzy and tired. Have I mentioned before that I still haven't checked my back out because I am afraid of doctors and hospitals? Yes, I am mature that way. I am not able to focus enough to write this post. It could turn out completely incoherent. If so forgive me. Make a wish of relief for me! Lots and lots of love!

23.9.15

Greetings blogfriends! Equinox blessings to all! Unfortunately I didn't have time for a tattoo. All we did were a few prayers, a multigrain raisin cake with syrupy grapes crossroads offering ( go ahead, say this three times quickly, I dare you!) which was one of the best cakes I ever made and we will feast tonight with a casserole that is boiling right now, full of seasonal yumminess. I am so grateful for all our bounty, accomplishments and love of our small family. When I made the offering ( and almost got run over, it was a busy time for our road), I remembered all the offerings I made right there while pregnant and tears welled up in my eyes. This offering was different, it was a heart shaped muffin in a bed of eucalyptus leaves and three jasmine flowers one for each of us, but the love and gratitude was the same.
Whoever came today in our home, had some of the cake and most took a few muffins for their home. It felt wonderful as did last night, when I cooked a feast for a couple of friends and today taking care of my family with some comfort food. I am also grateful that I have all of you guys to share this genuine celebration, my Craft, Magic and beliefs. It seems as if the Skies felt obligated to honor today the beginning of Autumn and fid their best. The storm energies, the Equinox energies and the waxing Moon swirled me up in their mistful ways and much Power was conjured, thanked and released. May the Goddess bless you and keep you safe. I love you all, so much!

20.9.15

Greetings friends. The Wheel is fastly turning, never ceasing, no matter how much one needs to catch a breath. It is forcing us forward, relentlessly, in an unstoppable movement. Ever pushing, ever flowing time.As the leaves are changing so shall I. I am not one to dwell into unfulfilled wants, but being indecisive can drive me to the brick of madness. I made my choices long ago. Way before I decided I wanted to feel new life grow inside of me. Classical singing is a noble and sometimes cruel art form and I enjoyed it for the best part of my life. But it has a toll I am not willing to pay. Not unlike most things it comes down to priorities. But in its case, it has to be the only one. I love its transcending powers but not that much. On the other hand, making it into a hobby instead of a life choice, to me feels like a betrayal. I can not do that, I never could, I respect it too much. I will probably keep studying every now and again, fill my home with glorious vibrations, but every other aspect of it, I have to turn down.
As in every other thing, when a door closes another one opens. So this decision, has many wonderful consequences. In me accepting to follow this path, I allow myself to be open to other musical endeavors. I would love to learn to be more creative musically. I would love to write songs and be able to play the piano just a tad better(I am really bad!). This will allow me to focus on my writing again, which I have almost abandoned. Perhaps one day, I will go back to school and get my degree. Although right now some tears may fall down my cheeks(I have never been good at letting go of the things I love), I know this is for the best. It appears as if the coming full moon in perigee Eclipse in my rising sign, has indeed revealing and transforming effects in my life. But, as this post is coming to its end, I feel a weight lifting off my shoulders. I welcome this season of both the year and my life as well.
Blessed be!

18.9.15

I got gifts today for no reason. First of all a client of mine brought me my favorite flavor of kale chips, and I wanted something healthy to accompany my dinner. And then my husband because he knew I was a little down and I never splurge on myself he gave a brand new pair of Nikes because my old ones was torn, a very pretty necklace made out of turquoise threads, very fairy like and four brown candles. I feel so spoiled! And to top it all tonight we will go to a concert of my favorite artist.
My cold is over and I am back on track with my diet and exercise plan that I didn't quite follow for two weeks... I am still torn about my creative endeavors. I can't convince myself to quit, yet I cannot find the time needed to pursue my classical studies. In this particular field there isn't middle ground. The technical and artistic expertise required are not doable without complete devotion and focused involvement. Knowing myself I will probably continue studying whenever I find the time, steeping myself in deep denial, knowing deep down this translates into quitting.
I would love to get one more musical degree in harmony , while also taking more singing lessons for my new repertoire and participate in a company that I have already been accepted to and go to auditions for the National opera. But this will take me away from home, my family and my psychic practice way too much.
Still no decisions have been made, but they might as well have been.

16.9.15

You know I avoid voicing any kind of political views. As you can probably guess as a witch slash singer slash poet I am liberal, but this is not about that. Our elections are this Sunday. It is an awful time for us. In the past it was proven that no matter what choice we made the results were the same.
It appears that there isn't a way to stop the rude and open bullying of our entire country by those in power. They are forcing us into oblivion. They are consistently killing the middle class and make us follow a plan that only makes the rich richer and the poor poorer. I know this is the case in every single country of the world, but here it is at an extreme. They do not even leave the slightest of chance of development. Our country is literally on sale.
The truth of our binds is now unmasked and any illusion of freedom is shattered. We are dieing at an accelerated rate in the most literal of ways, hunger, disease and giving up. People give up their children to institutions because they can't feed them anymore. One of those children was begging her mom to keep her and she swear she would not feel hungry again. With her plea I close this post, hoping she'll find her way home again, hoping we all will.

What did I do? I buried me under layers of fat and obligations. I squashed my most bright version under my fear until there was nothing there but a shadow with whom I had nothing in common. I couldn't let go of the hope but it was always based on a fairytale. My knights in shiny armors couldn't find me in the darkest hole of my psyche that I was hiding. I don't want to accept it's too late but my investments were not only lacking but also wrong. Is there still time? To do what, start from the beginning? Or should I accept it's all but a dream, an illusion that fooled me? I didn't believe in myself, but to be fair I was taught not to. Did I ever really have a choice? How much can a person exceed their written path? How much is owed? How much is due?Should I accept the facts? Splitting my focus in a million things almost killed me the first time. Even if I gave myself another chance, how would that be any different? Will I give myself a chance, will I grab it? Just wanting to throw my questions out into the night. So, my Mother's infinite wisdom can once more find me in my dreams. Dear Mother, what path shall I choose now? I scatter my thoughts in a handful of dry rose petals, so my silent dillema can echo into the darkness.

The weirdest thing happened today. Remember when I told you yesterday about my mom giving me my baby hair and the underwear of my first period? And how I couldn't remember at all the spell I used it in? Well, today we went by my mom's house for an impromptu visit and I asked her for some fabrics for Melina Nefeli's room. When she climbed up in the closet that she keeps them she found this special piece of underwear. Only hours after I wrote about it. I do not believe in coincidences, but I always listen very closely to all serendipitous situations have to tell me. Unfortunately, the lock of baby hair I already used, but it was so nice!
As my mom jokingly reminded me it's main use is to "bind" one's husband to only have eyes for you. So, I gave it to my husband and told him "here, this is to hex you". Now it's somewhere inside the bags of stuff she gave us. You know a honey jar, a jar of homemade jam, a few books, a tupperwear with chicken, a piece of fabric and my blooded underwear. We are such a weird family!
Today since the Moon is waxing I did a blessing of the house and my clothes smell of smoke as do my hair. But, these are very magical days and I am always doing something. I also find myself craving a bunch of things a quija board, a new tarot deck, and a bunch of herbs. I want to make an astral travel mixture of herbs with damiana, tatula(datula), belladonna, mandake and ahem... marijuana (not for smoking if anyone is judging!). I would love to gather them before the Supermoon that is around the corner. All of these herbs are either toxic or with narcotic properties, so, if you try to do anything similar take precautions!
Be blessed and enjoy the magic!

14.9.15

A lock of golden hair, firstly clipped under a New Moon and a Solar Eclipse nonetheless. My fairy princess got her first haircut by Mommy yesterday. What you see is most of the cut hair on a post it.
I always cut my hair on a New Moon and an Eclipse always makes the New Moon even more powerful, so I thought this was a great time for her first haircut, although she didn't really need one, hence the tiny lock!
First cut baby hair are often used in fertility magic and they also make powerful amulets to ward off evil. I will give it to her one day, along with a piece of her first blooded underwear, as my mother did to me(although for the life of me, I can't remember the spell I used them in!). Needless to say that she gave them to me when I turned 16 and I used them a few days later, month tops! I loved practicing magic and I had no patience whatsoever.
Brightest blessings to all of you beautiful people!

12.9.15

Hi everyone! I was wondering... Has any of you heard of a child resistant to potty training? We have tried a few times since she was 18 months old. And she gets really frustrated every time a " mishap " occurs although we keep cheering her on. Once she kept herself for a long time from going number two. Today we are trying again! She really dislikes the whole endeavor and we went to buy stickers and put Peppa the pig on TV. Also we watched YouTube videos of babies going potty. I understand that this is a silly thing to worry about. She will eventually grow out of it obviously, but besides giving her juice, putting her favorite show, bring toys around her and squeak with enthusiasm I am all out of ideas. I even made her toys and dollies go potty, and let the water run in case the trickling sound helps. Any ideas??

10.9.15

Greetings to all the blogland! How are you today, you beautiful people? l am trying to stay on top of my to do list and rest at the same time! That turns out somewhat doable... Almost! I baked today a raisin banana bread and a bunch of mini zucchini frittatas trying to honor both seasons and the turning of the wheel. It's a beautiful September this far as the air gets a little cooler, and the sky fills with grey spots.
I am reconciling with the fact that Summer is over. Usually this is my favorite time of the year, but now I wasn't ready to get in my busy mode. So, our home is like a beehive constantly buzzing and we are starting to spiral inwards.Because of our cold the house smells of ginger, cinnamon and cloves. Also, I am drinking hot coffees, instead of iced ones because of my sore throat although I usually don't make the switch till late October. So, we are really feeling the change right now.
This year I don't have big plans for the Equinox, just the usual spell casting and blessings(the Equinox prayer, perhaps a wreath and a pie) but there is a chance I might get a new tattoo. I have a simple and small triquetra under my left wrist and I want a spiral one on my right one. I hope I will find the time. On another Mabon a few years back I got my beloved little triquetra, I would love it if I managed to do it on an Equinox again. Blessed be!!!

Greetings blogfriends! In our home we are all a bit sick. So there has been a lot of tea brewing, and tincture drinking and soup making (that nobody touched, because we are all spoiled and don't eat soups!). But we are not feeling very bad and we had a chance to start organising and scheduling and settling down. All in all, we are slowing down and focusing. There is a solar eclipse, an Equinox and a full supermoon coming so there are so many things to be done!! But all in good time, now I have to rest and regroup some more. Brightest blessings to all of you beautiful people, I love you all!

3.9.15

These days have been a bit hectic. Although we are back at work, we managed to see my husband 's family twice, go to the beach, go to see the dolphins under the full moon, go to see a modern gig in Elefsina(which is beautiful by the way), where we also visited a theatrical museum and eat at a restaurant, go to Athens music hall and watch a beautiful classical concert and go to the zoo and all that since Saturday night. I cooked for Petros 's family twice, tried to maintain my workout routine and diet. Till this week is over we have a wedding-baptism to go to and funeral. Did I mention I have my period? I am so tired! We are not very energetic-social people, because our works don't allow that, so this might sound nice to someone but all I want to do is grab a book and sleep.
I am very excited September is here and we get to organize our time and make lists and set a routine. This probably sounds weird to most of you, but it is true. And as I read what I wrote I understand this all makes me seem a bit autistic, or old, or both. I swear I just turned 31.
Brightest blessings to all!!

29.8.15

I haven't worked this much magic in a while. It's this Moon. It is calling me in the most urging of ways. I am blessing jasmine water I brought home from this spring. And I have cast so many spells for meditation, protection, blessing. May the Moon shine her blessings upon you all. What are the chances I can sleep tonight?

26.8.15

This is our last day of vacation. It was really delightful! I played with the huge waves, unlike my husband and daughter until I was sore all over, I had cuts in various places of my body and especially feet, and until I was totally sunburned because getting your assistance kicked by the same gets you a little sidetracked and I forgot to renew my sunscreen. These are not the huge waves but we forgot to take pictures of most of our trip. We did however take pictures of some beautiful waterfalls that were still there in the hottest part of the Greek summer. And of some spectacular things we found at the archeological museum. I will post more pictures soon and hopefully by then I will have mastered the art of putting them in the order I mean to put them!

22.8.15

We are here. In the beautiful island of Lefkada and we get to swim in the turquoise waters every day for a few more days. But for some unknown reason to me my sweet child developed a phobia for the sea, ever since we changed her bathing suit. I hope she will get over it before we leave here because these waters can not be found anywhere near Athens. Actually anywhere in the Aegean it is the distinctive waters of the Ionion. I wish I had not thrown away the old bathing suit although it was small! Children can be so weird!

16.8.15

Greetings blogfriends. If the title has not scared you, you are very brave souls. Are you enjoying this majestic Summer? I love the feeling of the Sun on my skin. I love the sweet smelling evening breeze that travels through greek neighborhoods, because of all the night blooming summer plants that grow in almost every garden. I love walking in the evenings and breathing in the glorious air. But these days i already feel the Wheel turning and it is too soon. Are you listening to me Mother Nature? Too freaking soon. Greek Summers usually begin in late May and end in mid September. This particular one, began in late June(there were rains and it was sometimes a bit chilly till then) and i know this sounds pretty normal, but not for Athens! And we just had a couple of cloudy days! Most people welcomed this break, and i can deal with it, as long as the Summer continues normally pretty soon. Don't get me wrong, early Autumn is my favorite time of the year. But, this is the time for Summer, wonderful, steamy, hot , greek Summer.
Summer rant over, now lets move on to the bird rant. I am better today. These past days i could not stop blaming myself and second guessing me for every single decision i made to help my sweet bird. I kept telling myself that we learn from failure more than in success. That i tried my best and provided her the best possible care i could have. That it was her time to transition and move on. But, i beat myself up pretty hard, because i felt that she trusted me and i betrayed her, even though that ever since she got sick all i did was try to help her.I tried three medications, chamomile, apple cider, baths, eye washes, separated her from her cage mate for privacy, made her a cotton bed, fed her and gave her water when she could not see, held her in my hand to keep her warm, breath warm air on her when she was trembling and strong breaths when she could not breath, i sang to her and talked to her to know that she was not alone But, i was so hard on myself for not trying the last medicine first, for not separating from the other bird sooner, for not removing her bathtub the previous night, for not feeding her in the mouth before she stopped seeing I understand now that no matter what i probably still would have lost her and that i did everything in my power. It is time to move on and allow myself to heal and grow.Even the doctor could not point out a better course of treatment, i really did the best i could. And yet even now, days later my stomach ties up in knots, when i remember her last moments. Thank the Goddess i am not a veterinarian because i would be hospitalized by now.
Have i told you about my new diet and workout routine? It is rather simplified. I am on a variation(my own variation to be exact) of the warrior diet. I drink lemonade with stevia during the day and i have a rich meal at night., mostly consisting of healthy protein and lots of veggies and maybe some sugar free ice cream or a little cheese. Sometimes during the day i eat a couple of pieces of fruit, but lemonade keeps me energized all day, so i rarely need it. Intermittent fasting used to scare me, but now i realize it is much easier than i thought and weirdly enough gave me vast amounts of energy. Ever since i started it, i have not lost a day of work out. My work out routine these days is 20-40 minutes on my trampoline and then my daily yoga session with Adriene( i am currently on day 11 i think) which is usually around 30 minutes.or less. So, usually i work out a little more than an hour, or if i am not in my most bouncy mood i skip the cardio and only do yoga. Once a week, i try to eat some healthy(hence the trying part) carbs, to boost my metabolism. I eat 800- 1200 calories which is little, but still more than what i used to eat and barely lose weight and i feel better than ever. I do not have the fastest metabolism but it is not that bad if you consider the fact that i am dieting for over a year now. That being said, tonight i had a very decadent and tasty meal that consisted of half a stuffed squash with goat cheese and eggplant, grilled tenderloin and a cup of sugar free ice cream, along with some sparkly water. I love this diet! It may be all i have eaten today, but this is the first time i enjoyed food in a very long time!
Tonight, although the moon was waxing i had a cleansing ritual for our home. There was a lot of death this past couple of weeks and the energy was heavy and raw. My little witchling helped me and chanted the prayer with me. I love practicing magick with her. Doing yoga and meditating though, not so much. Although i have to admit having a toddler climb on you while you are trying(and failing) to do a crow pose adds an element of danger that keeps the practice interesting, and there is nothing cuter of a two year old trying to "meditate" of monkeys(she loves monkeys!). The first time i was explaining the concept, she was trying to rest her hands over my knees instead of hers and she was huffing and puffing while trying to notice her breath, but when she found out she could focus her thoughts in anything she wanted, meditation became all about monkeys. If only you could see her cute little face, while she was squeezing her eyes tightly and talking about monkeys in our river. So funny! I could not stop laughing..It took me by surprise!
May the Goddess bless you and keep you safe.

11.8.15

My sweet little white canary died in my hand, after I held her there almost all day. I fed her, gave her water and many different treatments but I lost her. In the end she wanted water and she drank and drank until finally her tiny head slowly came down to my palm. I miss her so much, she was such a wonderful creature, but in the end she was in so much pain and I am glad it didn't last longer. May her sweet soul find peace and freedom.

10.8.15

Greetings blogfriends! The day before yesterday was my 31st birthday. I had to spend it without my husband because he was on a small tour, but thankfully at around 2 am he came back, so I got to see him on my special day. It was very quiet and I spent the day with a friend and my little fairy, but as always I got to thinking of the year passed and the things I accomplished. In the past my accomplishments were more academically oriented, but this year I was mostly focused on getting more healthy and strong. I wanted to strengthen my back and fix my thyroid and lose weight that seemed impossible at the time with those two issues.Having a low metabolism and not being able to move don't really scream weight loss. But gradually the bad days became less and then the good days were more and now I get to work out almost every day for half an hour on my trampoline and do some strength training or yoga after that. I found out about yoga with Adriene from one of you( I am sorry, I can't remember which one) and I am currently doing her 30 days program. I never thought I would consider exercise a privilege, but chronic pain completely transformed my way of thinking and forced me to take care of myself and make me a priority. I also discovered intermittent fasting and right now I am doing the warrior diet, only more protein focused. I have managed to lose since my last birthday 27kilos( I think that translates into 59 pounds but I wouldn't trust my math), which is quite decent considering all the obstacles. I take a vast amount of supplements in hope of a healthier thyroid gland which I will check around September. Fingers crossed on that one.. This year I also stopped ignoring the truth about my voice, which translates into a lot of work, but it is so worth it. So, I have a lot of studying to do, which sometimes scares me in a counterproductive way, but I am fighting through it. All in all it was a good happy year and I am making myself feel proud of what I managed to do, instead of the things I have failed in. This is the first year I managed to do that and I am happy to say, that this was the least depressing birthday in a while.

On a totally unrelated note, on of my birds( my favorite one, the white Canary) is very sick. We are trying to help it with a bunch of treatments, if you are able and feel like it please send healing thoughts and wishes for her. She is such a peaceful soul.

3.8.15

Greetings blogfriends. These days are hard. Friday night we lost a very beloved uncle of a heart attack. It was extremely sudden since he was only 57 and had no health issues at all. He had a recent check up and everything was fine. He was my husband's uncle and the father of one of my favorite people in the world, a young witch that I consider a sister. My heart breaks for her.
These last couple of weeks I had very often bad feelings, as a premonition that was not coming, that left me shivering in the middle of the Greek summer. During one of those times I told my husband " we will see your parents ". But I shook of the overwhelming sensation thinking it might be a complicated meeting that would make him sad. But the feeling came over and over again.
Ever since we got the news, we got overwhelmed by pain and everything paused. We weren't the best parents for our little one and she felt something was wrong. So last night although the Sabbat was gone I wanted to mark the day and make a wreath for our front door as well as bake a cake in honor of the harvest. So, as the sun was setting we got in the car and drove in order to pick up a few flowers, came home and made these two.

Immediately the energy shifted and the little witchling was more at ease and so were we. Be blessed, be loved and be magical!

2.7.15

Hello everybody. It's a beautiful moonlit night outside that makes it almost impossible to go to bed. I wanted to come here and tell you how blessed I feel right now even in the middle of all this happening in my country. I feel like myself again. I am so much healthier. My metabolism is better, I have thicker eyebrows and hair and I have energy. Of course I didn't continue all of the things I was set on doing. I couldn't find the time for acupuncture, or daily eft and meditation, but the supplements really helped. I kept the dietary restrictions for a while, but I do eat small amounts of dairy and carbs again.
My back is doing better as long as I remember I am not wonderwoman(today I forgot, but my plants are happy!). When you get your health back it feels as you can conquer anything and I count my blessings daily, now I just have to make an appointment and check my nodule but I feel it is going to be smaller or at the very least the same.
I want to thank anyone who kept me in their thoughts and especially the ones that blew some rosepetals in the wind for me. May tonight's Moon grant all your wishes!! Be blessed!

25.5.15

Hello dear blogfriends. I had a setback. My back had a bad spasm and during the day I mainly rearrange the pillows trying to find a position that gives me a few seconds of relief. But eft and meditation help a lot to manage the pain and I will be on my feet in no time.
On a magical note I created a new magical space for me, in my balcony. I buried Solomons Seal in the four corners and marked them with pentagrams and a drop of my blood. I burned rosepetals and white candles and in return I found in one of the pots a huge four- leaf clover, that I dressed in wax.
One of these days I want to do a reading to see how my thyroid is reacting to all the different treatments I bestow upon my body. Also, it has been a while since I had a water cleansing(and to those not so magical out there, that doesn't mean showers,lol).
This period feels like getting back to the basics even in a magical sense. I am trying to get to my core, ground myself and focus on me after a very long time. It doesn't come naturally to me to do those things so it feels somewhat clumsy and weird, but also right.
So, blow some rosepetal dust in the wind for me and wish me luck and healing and may the Goddess 's blessings brighten your lives and your hearts.
Blessed be.

20.5.15

So, I started acupuncture yesterday. It went very well. I also begun supplementing with selenium, magnesium, calcium, d3 and fulvic acid. And soon I will also be taking guggul, and omega 3. I also want to start daily sessions of eft and meditation. I think it is about time to let myself heal and grow strong.
Western medicine is wonderful but right now needs to join hands with an eastern path. I also make every night masks of green argyle to apply to my neck, while I chant a Gaia spell. Grounding in all forms and lots of wonderful singing vibrations to heal my thyroid and shrink my nodules.
Diet wise I have accepted the fact that my body doesn't work like most people's so I eat under 800 calories and I have no carb, including fruit, no dairy, and no eggs. I work out every day. And I will kick this nodules' ass. Also I drink everyday ginger and elderflower teas.
I am keeping this strict program for 3 more months and then I will get everything checked out again to see the amount of improvement size wise and of course hormone wise. The most basic goal is to beat the stress of it all and by taking control I am feeling better and better.
At least if it doesn't work I can say I tried everything. But I feel that it will work.
Wish me luck!
Brightest blessings to you all!

6.5.15

I tried running but it hurt too much. I read about trampolines and people with back-joint issues and i was very hesitant at first but full of hope. Turns out jumping up and down on a bouncy surface can be really good for your back. I could not believe it until i tried it. Not only it did not made me worse, but on few occasions it even loosened me up a bit. Who could have thought. i could have worked out for an hour and not turn into a hot mess of pain.
Of course at the beginning i was n't even jumping, i was sort of balancing first on one foot and then on the other in very slow motion. But in just days i got quicker and stayed on longer and pretty soon i was jumping up and down like a maniac. By the way, my neighbors no longer watch tv, they just watch me.
When i read that according to NASA trampolines burn more calories and are easier on you than jogging, i did not believe it but i really wanted it to be true I needed a solution.So, i bought it out of hope and wishful thinking and it was the best purchase i ever made. In case you are wondering, no, i am not selling those damn things.
So, if you are amazed by the fact that this crazy witch rants on about a trampoline in the middle of the night, it is only because it helped change my life. I got stronger, lighter and i hurt less, so i want to give thanks to the Universe and the Goddess for providing solutions to me when i needed them the most.
Once again, i do not own a trampoline company!
Be blessed, be loved and be very energetic!

5.5.15

Greetings to all the blogland. I missed you terribly. I have been so buzy lately that i have n't had the time to do so many things i wanted. Blog, and by blog i mean stalk you silently in the creapiest of ways, study music and by study i mean once again stare silently various sopranos do their thing, since i am so tired. I did not get exhausted just by all the work, but mostly because of one more visit to my endocrinologist. She once again urged me towards a surgical solution and pointed out how little weight i have lost while resolving on such desperate measures. I have been on Atkins and Orlistat with a daily vigorous cardio routine and in 2 months i only lost 3 kilos.Which was very little considering that i am rather heavy. So, she gave me a list of hormones to check out and she basically told me she could not help me any further. She wanted to give me a pill that is usually prescribed in diabetics that helps you metabolize carbs but i am hypoglycemic, which makes it impossible. I lost all hope after that visit. I spent the afternoon on my office floor crying. I can't keep facing the dilemma of surgery every other month. So, i called my nutritionist to give me an extremely low cal-low carb-low fat diet(basically no food) in hope that it will jumpstart my metabolism. I told her i called her because i could not do it safely by myself but the truth was, i just could not bear the responsibility alone anymore. This way, if it failed it was somebody else's failure.
Thankfully though, being under 900 calories while on Orlistat and still working out like crazy was more effective and in 2 weeks i lost almost 1.5 kilos. I hope that while i lower my body fat my thyroid function will get better and my nodule will stabilize. I am not giving up. I have to avoid surgery. Especially now that i am studying heavier roles of dramatic voices and thriving.
On a more magical note, this Beltane we celebrated our 5 years anniversary with one more handfasting in front of some of our closest friends. Unfortunately very few could make it since it was a holiday and everybody went away on a long weekend. We were only 10 people and we had it at home, because we were afraid for the weather, but we had so much fun. They were all curious about the ceremony, but very open about it. I promise i will post some pictures very soon. There was a lot of drinking so i will show you the early stages because later everybody sort of melted on the floor, but at least there was a lot of laughter. As always someone slept on our couch and everybody was cursing us the next day for providing so much alcohol.
I am so happy we exchanged our vows again this year. I feel everytime it brings us closer and binds us in the deepest of levels.
Be blessed, be loved and be magical!

29.4.15

Hello blogfriends! Right now I am laying in the Sun drinking iced coffee and enjoying the cool breeze that makes my chimes sing! Life is good. I very rarely get to enjoy this lazy time in my balcony because I always remember something to do. Even now I have to fight all my natural obsessive compulsive urges to dig my hands in dirt. But my daughter is taking her afternoon nap and I am trying to teach myself to relax!
Everything smells of lavender and violets and the birds are tweeting their busy songs. In every stroke of the wind I feel the Goddess's hand giving me strength and guidance. In every whisper of the leaves's song I hear Her voice calling to my soul.
May your life be full of music, love and passion.

21.3.15

14.3.15

Greetings blogfriends. I have been away for a while now! I was soulsearching for a bit. I ended up on Atkins, which is not what I expected and I am glad I tried that! I don't believe there is a better solution for someone with my hormonal complications and difficulty in metabolizing carbs. But most importantly I had my first singing lesson in over a year and a half. I found out what I always suspected, that my voice is more dramatic than the roles I have been give given so far. So, I am learning a whole new repertoire from scratch. Because of this I was in a very emotional state for days. For the better part of the lesson I was crying, which was once again very embarrassing and might sound completely crazy, but I came to realize that I have been studying for over a decade in the wrong direction. My voice was a bit misleading because I had a wide vocal spectrum, but I should have heard my intuition instead of trusting my teacher blindly.

On a more matrimonial note, this year on the anniversary of our first handfasting(Beltane) we will renew our vows in front of a few of our closest friends. The ceremony will take place in the most unbelievably beautiful place I have ever seen. It is an ancient place of worship and it is called Crya's Springs just a couple of hours from Athens.

This picture does not do the place justice but it is the only one i have in my phone and i am too lazy to search the web. My plans is a simple handfasting ceremony there, performed by a witch sister of mine, while some other friends of ours play some music, then eating some cake, drinking a little bit of wine and then back to Athens. Where in another friend's garden we will barbeque and party!

These may all sound very simple but my invitations were quite elaborate. I made them out of tree bark, moss, dried flowers and some pretty paper!

Are n't they a fairy beauty?

And speaking of fairies here is Melina Nefeli sitting on a tree bark, and playing with a daisy.

And here she is in her first costume party dressed as an actual fairy..

By now you probably figured out i am not much of a photographer, but even blurry she is still a cutey!

3.2.15

23.1.15

I put together my "Sun spot" in the tiny balcony. It is so cute. You can't really tell because i took a picture of it at 1.30 am.

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And it is official now, we do not have a place to keep the garbage any more in the house. We will have to take them out as soon as the bag fills up like normal people. I hope tomorrow will be a sunny day so i can really enjoy it. I put fake grass to sit on it and a plastic leaf fence for some privacy. I moved the pots a little bit around to make room for me to sit. The only thing left to do is hang the sun catchers Apparently we did not have the appropriate nail- hook thingies to hang them.

This is the newest member of our family Georginos Kakakis. He had to go and check it out. We neutered him a week ago, he is the sweetest little kitten. We found him n the summer, almost dead , half paralyzed and extremely malnourished, and although there were some touch and go moments he made it. He still can't jump really high, but he is a very happy kitten. His favorite people in the house is Melina Nefeli and my other male cat Shadow.

As for a health update. My back spasmed badly at the beginning of the week. It was especially frustrating because it happened while i am pmsing (this new moon-super moon(perigee) caused a delay in my cycle) and an upper back pain was already kicking in. All in all, not the best week pain wise. But, i slept. I slept so many days in the row(with an exception on Monday) that i lost count. The pain is much less. My chamomile tincture helped a lot. I could not believe how potent it turned out. Sleep is really speeding up the healing process. I am off to the bed, it is past my curfew( it is still weird though, that i have a curfew and my daughter does not!).
Good night to all and sweet dreams.

21.1.15

Today it feels like autumn. I am here in my balcony seepinget hot coffee and soaking in the Sun and the breeze is streaking gently my hair! It is beautiful.
I owe you an update programwise. I gave myself a set of rules that I have to follow! It shocked me that almost all of them had to do with my basic needs, proving how poorly I was treating myself. Most important rule the lights go out at 1.30. I was mostly able to follow that and although it has been less than a week my sleep benefited greatly. I also keep the drapes open so I can maintain a normal sleep cycle and I got used to it much faster than I originally thought!
Second rule many mini meals. That made a huge difference!
Third rule back exercises, well to be honest I only did them twice, but I will get back on track!
Rule number four meditation and eft exercises. Those two are really allowing me to focus on myself.
As you can see my main goal is healing and I think this is a great start. As I getc more comfortable into my new routine I will make a more elaborate schedule or perhaps it won't be needed! I chose to keep things light in order to not overwhelm myself!
It was time to become my own life coach!

14.1.15

Do you feel it? We are in the middle of the winter, but i feel a quickening deep inside my soul. The Wheel is turning and i feel like a flower that holds out during the cold and darkness patiently waiting for what is to come. The warmth is just a breath away.
So,a pre-cleansing cleansing is in order! It is a pre-cleansing because the official cleansing will take place a bit later.(Who can say these two sentences 3 times fast?) It has to start with me.I have decided i want to get rid of a few things. Or better yet fix a few issues. As a new mother(i do not know if i still count as one) i tend to put myself last, although i had this bad habit way before i ever became pregnant. I want to organize a few aspects of my life and take better care of myself. I have come to realize that i really need a sleep schedule, if i ever want to have quality of sleep. I also want to schedule small meals during the day and stop living of unbelievable amounts of coffee and one giga-meal when i finally sit down at night. It is easy to make excuses but the truth is if i can make time for everybody else i can make a little bit of time for myself too. And my Venus in Virgo has decided that the way to do it is through optimizing my time by organizing my ass off. I also have already made time for a bit of a daily meditation. This is how i found out i need to take better care of me, and if you think that it was quite obvious in the first place you misjudged and completely under evaluated my ability of compartmentalizing. I am really good at that.
After my latest meditation sessions, i am more grounded, more relaxed, stronger and i sleep better. I need to incorporate a few healthy habits in my life. Every year around this time, i always have a heavier load when it comes to work and i end up over stressed and very tired. This year i am going to break this vicious cycle and just let go. And yes, it sounds a bit controversial to let go by scheduling pretty much every aspect of my life, but this is the only way, i will remember my needs. Which means lists.. I love lists. Did i mention my Venus in Virgo?
I will share the specifics as soon as i have them, so you can laugh at my apparent ocd. Until then i leave you with many hugs, kisses and witchy blessings!
Mwah!

9.1.15

The Sun has returned. I hope He stays. I loved the snow but one night was enough for me, this series of days with bad weather has been too much for me. It has been too long. My Canadian friends would laugh at the fact that although it snowed for a couple of nights there never was a layer of snow on the ground. But i digress, I need the Sun. My plants are so much happier today. Light glistens around the room because of the sun catchers's dancing with the wind.
I know, i know...I am such a Leo sometimes and what's with all the cats's obsession with the Sun? Well. i can't describe it. It can not be put in words. My favorite thing growing up was sitting on a spot in my balcony, soaking in the Sun. I used to do my homework there, listen to my music, write poetry and meditate. My "spot" was on the ledge of the balcony and i had to climb up there a bit. All my neighbors used to watch me, probably thinking how uncomfortable it must be to sit there and perhaps wondering how i do not get bored. But my spot on the ledge could not get boring. I used to drive my poor mother crazy, especially during the hot greek summers, making her worry i would get heat stroke. But those were the best days, the Sun was stronger. I could not wait to get back from school and make a coffee, grab a book and my walkman(boy, i am old!). And although i hate the cold, the moment the Sun came out i would dress up in a million layers and go on the ledge(that sounds a bit suicidal!).
I miss my ledge. I tried to recreate it here. But the truth is there is only one place that the Sun would be just right. The problem is that it is on the most teenyy, tiny, tiniest of balconies that we currently use to keep our trash before we throw them out and it does not have a tent. I would be an extremely weird sight, but then again i always have been one. My husband has tried to change my mind many times, because it would be inconvienient, since we are lazy people that take the trash out every two or three days. If i do that we would not have a place to keep the trash. Do not tell him that, but i think not collecting garbage anymore would be a plus. As for what the neighbors would think, i believe that it would not make them think i am any weirder than they already think i am.
So, what about you? Do you have a "spot" that you enjoy sitting by the hours if given the chance?