I'm totally pissed off and my pissed-offedness is a totally righteous one. What the HELL were these people thinking? The Pittsburgh Steelers are the paragon of no-frills, no-excuses, I'm-gonna-smash-your-head-in-all-the-live-long-day-football. Which pretty much sums up the city's attitude toward, well, everything.

And we have a frickin' mascot called STEELY MCBEAM?? This is UNACCEPTABLE. This must be STOPPED. We have to DO SOMETHING. My CAPS LOCK button is GOING TO BREAK SOON unless SOMETHING IS DONE.

To paraphrase Simmons, this would never happen if Bill Cowher were still alive.