Strategic Nuclear Trump

December 10, 2018

I know so much more than my generals I can’t remember all the areas where I’m superior but I sure understand way more about nuclear weapons and how to deal with Iran and North Korea. You probably heard I’ve been choking Iran with sanctions, especially after I bailed out of that horrible nuclear deal. I didn’t believe the International Atomic Energy Agency that certified Iranian compliance any more than I do those loony liberal scientists who keep reporting human behavior is affecting climate change. I’m not even worried about that. Don’t you worry, either.

And you can relax about North Korea and its nuclear weapons. Just keep reading my tweets. “There is no longer a nuclear threat from North Korea… Kim said very nice things. He said we want to get denuclearization during the Trump Administration… (I know) we will prove everyone wrong! There is nothing like good dialogue between people who like each other.” And Kim Jong Un and I are buddies. Well, almost buddies. I’m sure he wanted to please me recently at his great nation’s 70th Anniversary parade where, for a big change, he didn’t have any ICBMs on display. Many agree with me that the absence of those missiles is a sign of North Korea’s “commitment to denuclearization.”

I’ve got lots of time but maybe not as much as I thought. Kim better not try to fool me. I’ve been getting lots of reports and so have you. The North Koreans may be accelerating their nuclear program. We just need to figure out how to peacefully change that. I think they should dismantle their nuclear program before we stop sanctions and withdraw our troops from South Korea. They think just the opposite. I guess they believe I’d attack them if they didn’t have missile bases. They’re still worried about the two million we killed in the north during the Korean War. They sometimes point to Viet Nam and another couple of million we had to kill there. And I’m so tired of hearing about Iraq and Saddam Hussein and Muammar Gaddafi of Libya. We had to attack and kill there, too. That’s part of being a peaceful democracy.

I’m sure not going to show any weakness. I can’t do that because I’m getting reports the North Koreans are still producing five to eight nuclear bombs a year and may now have around fifty of them they keep moving around to various hidden and fortified storage facilities, some under mountains. That’s why I’m being real tough on sanctions despite my friendship with Kim. I know North Korea is trading a lot more with China by land and sea. I’d thought the Chinese were on board with us. The Russians also aren’t cooperating.

Like I say, don’t worry. I’m directing our “pressure campaign” against North Korea. I can’t give you all the super-secret details. Just remember, I’m a bad ass who’s got a very special brain. If Kim Jong Un builds too many nuclear bombs, I may terrify him by attacking nonnuclear Iran.