Awkward Introduction

Trying to come up with a decent/stupid introduction for the upcoming collection…how does this sound? I know it’s silly, but still…

The Awkward Introduction:

Hello. Hi…hiya? No, hiya is definitely a bit too much. Hello! If it’s alright with you, then I will make this brief. Because I do feel quite strongly that I am making somewhat of a buffoon of myself in this introduction…I would have loved to have just leapt straight into the travel tales, and skipped past all of this. But then you may have been all; “who even is this guy? And why is he so rude a bastard, that he doesn’t even say hello – or introduce himself?! He is well and truly off the Christmas card list!”

Well point taken. Albeit from an imagined, and probably a lot scarier version of yourself.

My name is John. John Lee Taggart. And although that may be a little reminiscent of the classic James Bondline, I couldn’t be further from the character himself. Well I could. I mean I do have a face, and hands, and legs, and other matching body parts – but I mean to say, I am no action hero, or suave lady-killer. Or bad-guy killer. Actually I don’t even kill flies, I’m pathetic…or nice, depending on your outlook.

What I do like to do though, is live life – and laugh at things. Both are pretty much involuntary, but I enjoy that they happen all the same. So on that note here are a little collection of travel tales from The Global Fool himself – little old me.

I hope you enjoy them. Please don’t throw stones if you don’t. (That’s not a metaphor – I mean like literal stones – they hurt a lot.)

Yours…sincerely? Faithfully? Errr…I never really know…so erm. Bye!

Love John

Also…what’s the deal with Amazon, and charity – as in, is there an option for the profits to go to a charity, or would I have to take it, and give it myself? Is that a stupid question? Errr…you see, as the stories will literally just be a collection of selected ones from the site, I feel it would be nice for it to go to a good cause. Not that I don’t like money, but still.

I don’t know about what options Amazon has for proceeds going to charity, but if you’re paying taxes in the States I can tell you that you WILL want to have that issue worked out before you start earning any money on it. If, however, you’re not paying taxes in the States, disregard!

I like the intro–it seems very “you” (or as “you” as I can assess from what you post here). As for whether Amazon can automatically set up part of/all the proceeds going to charity, I’m not sure. I’d doubt it’s something as easy as checking a box–usually large corporations making donations to charities in such a way requires a great deal of legalese and is much, much more complicated than just writing a check, as us regular humans would do (things you learn working in accounting, woo).

I do know that Amazon has the AmazonSmile thing, which allows customers to select a charity to which Amazon donates a (very small) percentage of each sale. But that is something done by the customers and I don’t think vendors (people who provide the products to Amazon to sell) have any control over that.

It would be worth contacting them about, I think. It’s really admirable that you want to donate your sales to charity! To whom are you considering donating?

Ah I see Aidan, I think you are probably right like – I was just hoping there would be an option as I am largely lazy, haha! I would find it hard to keep track of, and then hand it over, but naturally that isn’t impossible! My though process is that if they are on the site anyways, then it would be a little rich me asking for something. Rather it go to a good cause if people have to pay…I am thinking Macmillan Cancer Care – cancer is unfortunately a MAJOR problem for my family (appears to only be the women affected), but anyway without wanting to ramble too much, they helped a lot. Especially when there isn’t much else they can do, they’re really great. I’m open to other suggestions though.

Well if laziness is an issue, I would definitely suggest keeping a ledger of your book profits and making a private donation! Much, much easier than trying to go through a third-party corporation. All you have to do is write the check and keep a receipt for later tax purposes (if applicable).

I think cancer care is a fantastic cause to donate to! Especially as it is something personal to you. I’m sorry to hear about how affected your family is by it. It’s great that you want to help.

I simply love reading your posts each and every day. If I were to be away from the computer, not able to read your posts for one day, I have no idea if I could get through the day. Yeah, I am kind’a addicted to your posts.
Just a suggestion, something I read once in publishing tips: try not to put yourself out there shyly. Example: “I hope you enjoy them,” could be more of a assuming comment, “…I know you will enjoy them,” or simply, “Enjoy!”. I remember reading that putting yourself out there using wording which makes it appear you are unsure of yourself or your work, will come through in a big way when people read your work. Think of how many followers you have, a TON, and take heart we all love your work. I am sure many others will really enjoy your work, and your work will make many smile.
Peace & Love