J.A. Kazimer does it Froggy Style

Where does an interview like this originate? I’m not sure I even want to remember. I believe it all started somewhere on a yellow brick road (probably stained by Munchkin pee) known as the Internet, I stumbled into author J.A. Kazimer. After minutes of trying to figure out which one of us didn’t have a brain, we realized neither one of us had the courage to tell the truth.

J.A. Kazimer’s Avatar

To ease the uncomfortable silence, I was handed a copy of Kazimer’s latest release Froggy Style and the author bid me fairwell. (Which included the waving some kind of sparkly, pointed, wand-looking thing over my head.) Before I knew it I was a fan. J.A.’s intrinsic wit and ability to skewer a seemingly innocent fairy tale right in the heart, turn it in to a potential murder mystery, without losing the charm of a story that resides somewhere this side of Never, Never Land. It is a great read. (My Amazon review will be posted after the Feb. 26 release date.)

But don’t be fooled. This isn’t the fairy tale your mother read to you. It’s the one she opened much later, pulling it from its hiding place under the mattress.

And so we began, as all great fairy tales do: Once upon a time…

1) My first story I wrote was about a pig that could fly. Now I’m writing about fly fishing, spirits and love. What was the first story you wrote, when and how did that lead to “Froggy Style?”

Flying pigs, huh? How cool would that be? If I remember correctly, my first story was a total Scooby Doo knock-off. Oddly enough, I’m sure my ability to plot a mystery came directly from that show. I still fight ‘the big reveal’ in every story. In fact, in Froggy Style, I wanted the end line to read: ‘And I would’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you kids and your meddling frog!’ Lucky for me, my editor is a whole lot smarter, and suggested I just say, ‘The End’.

2) Describe the writer scene in Denver.

I love the Denver (and surrounding areas) writer’s scene. So many amazing writers in, what for all intensive purposes, is a small city. I wouldn’t have a book deal if not for Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers. I wouldn’t still be writing in not for Pikes Peak Writers in CO Springs. I owe the CO writers’ scene more than I can ever repay, but I do try. That’s what we are all about, supporting each other, even when we’re green with jealousy. While I love my writer friends, I also hate them for being cooler than me, so we’re much more like a family that way.

3) You’ve written some heavy crime/mutant/killing books and now have completed two in the series of “A F***ed Up Fairy Tales” which are a bit more light hearted. Which was the greater challenge and why?

The Fairy Tales hands down are much more of a challenge. Humor is hard. Really, really, really hard. I love puns. I overuse them like crazy. Some get by my editor, many don’t. Sometimes people laugh out loud at the words I put on the page, which is much more satisfying than when people stab their friends due to something I wrote.

4) You’ve been guaranteed a big break into television but there’s only one catch. You first must star in one of two shows, and then the guaranteed money/fame comes in. Your choices: “Infested” or “The Wiggles,” Which one do you pick and why?

The Wiggles. Hands down. I do not like bugs. I really, really, really do not like bugs. In fact, I now have the creeps just from the question. Did you know the average person swallows eight spiders a year while sleeping? Oh, it’s true. That’s why I’ve taken to sleeping with duct tape around my mouth. Haven’t swallowed a spider in years.

5) And finally a fairytale question: You’re lovely (?) fairy godmother
grants you one wish: to have wings to fly (but no magic wand) or to be able to run like the road runner cartoon character. You pick….

Fairy Godmother’s love to f*** with you. Wings or road runner. Not a fair choice. I mean, have you see the legs on the road runner? Chicken legs for sure. And wings? Where would I shop for clothes? Wing-Mart? Forget it. Plus, as a warning to everyone, never trust those wand-carrying bitches. Look at the mess Cinderella found herself in.

Thank you Dean for having me. Now, If you don’t mind a word from my sponsor:

Froggy Style

FROGGY STYLE: Kissing a Frog Sweepstakes

Want to win a fabulous vacation to a tropical island? Or how about a brand new car? If so, I suggest you enter the Publishers Clearing House. If you want to win a semi-cool prize like a $100 gift card to Amazon (or the gift card of your choice) or better yet, infamy when a character based on you (or the person of your choice) appears in book three of the F***ed-Up Fairy Tale series, enter the Kissing a Frog Sweepstakes in honor of the release of the irreverent fairy tale novel FROGGY STYLE.

Are you adorable? Scratch that. Are you willing to embarrass yourself for cash? Then the Kissing a Frog Contest is for you. Take your best digital pic of you/your sister/your grandma/your next door neighbor/your parrot kissing a frog (whether it is an actual frog or a stuffed one, or even your dog in animal drag), and upload it to your facebook/twitter/instagram with the hashtag: #FroggyStyle or send it to jkazimer@msn.com to enter.

Photos will be displayed on author’s website/social media.

Prizes include a $50 gift card, books, ebooks, and toy frogs. For more information, visit: www.jakazimer.com.

Contest ends March 30, 2013.

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Thanks, J.A. for a great interview and contests the like never having graced these pages. Along with the frog promotions, J.A. is also giving away one copy of Froggy Style to a randomly chosen visitor who leaves a comment on this post. I would wish you all good luck, but acceptance of the prized book may lead you down a path you may never recover.