Thursday, August 31, 2006

Grata Non Persona

On Meeting People You Have Previously Only Known From The Internet In Real Life

It's easy. Just go up to a person in the street you don't recognise and introduce yourself.

They will very likely be looking for somebody they don't recognise, too; so you'll have something to talk about.

The only circumstance in which this will not work is if you have previously agreed on the time, date, and place to meet up but find out later that you have both agreed on different times, dates, and places.

Although one way to avoid this is to deliberately make a mistake, and turn up at the wrong time and the wrong place.

This method might even be successful if they turn up at the wrong time and the wrong place, too.

Are they black? Make sure you do not notice this, as that may make you racist.

Are they male, or female? Again, make sure you do not notice this as this would make you racist. Everything does, nowadays.

Most people who frequent the internet are either socially maladaptive, geeks, stalkers, or murderous psychopaths (hey, Mum, look at my blog!) If the Person You Have Previously Only Known From The Internet is one of these people, a word of warning: they may be a little unusual.

Pay no attention to any photographs of stalkees, severed limbs, etc, etc, they might have.

You wouldn't want to make them uncomfortable.

Once you have failed to recognise them, meet them at the right location, or at the right time, notice their personal characteristics, ethnicity, sex, or sociopathic tendencies, you might like to fail to agree to share a cup of coffee or a beer with them, in one of the many fine cafes in your vicinity.

There again, I am equally cagey in person as I am on my blog. Consistently inconsistent, you might say. It's easier for me to get into the whole 'blogs as voyeurism' thing than the 'blogs as self-expression' thing.