Late Night Political Humor

“The Democratic candidates went head-to-head Saturday night in their second debate, where unlike the Ronda Rousey fight, we saw a woman knock out TWO opponents.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Not that anyone seemed to notice, but there was a Democratic debate on Saturday night. It was Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Martin O’Malley, who is either a presidential candidate or an Irish pub where they all went to drink afterwards, I’m not sure.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Data from social media and Google showed that Bernie Sanders was the most talked about of the three Democratic candidates after the debate. Bernie came in first, Hillary came in second, — and somehow Martin O’Malley came in fourth.” – Jimmy Fallon

“If you watched the debate on mute, it looked like Bernie Sanders spent two hours angrily sending his soup back at the deli.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Bernie Sanders announced today that he has joined Snapchat. Sanders said he’s excited to see his photos disappear, ‘JUST LIKE THE MIDDLE CLASS!'” – Seth Meyers

“In an interview this morning, Donald Trump said that mosques need to be ‘watched and studied,’ because he believes they may spread hateful views. In related news, Donald Trump needs to be watched and studied.” – Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump is out in front of the pack again. According to a new Reuters poll he’s in first place among likely Republican voters with 42 percent. Ben Carson is in second with just under 25 percent. Only 4 percent now say they would support Jeb Bush. That number dropped to 2 percent when the pollster asked, ‘Really?'” – Jimmy Kimmel

“I think Donald Trump will drop out once he finds out how much money the president actually makes. I think he pays his hair flap engineer more than $400,000 a year.” – Jimmy Kimmel

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This was written by Iron Knee. Posted on Wednesday, December 2, 2015, at 12:15 am. Filed under Humor. Bookmark the permalink. Follow comments here with the RSS feed. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.