10/21/2004

How To Out-Rove Rove:
If this stupid fucking Theresa Heinz Kerry/Laura Bush story gets any legs, other than those given to it by the morons on Fox "News," there's a simple, devastating way to deal with it. (For those not in the know, Heinz Kerry called Laura Bush "a robotic kooz who couldn't work her way out of a paper bag" or words to that effect. When Heinz Kerry was reminded that Laura Bush was, in fact, a school librarian for ten years, Heinz Kerry apologized, saying that Laura Bush is "a robotic kooz who could work the Dewey Decimal system like a Mexican hooker can work an old gringo's Viagraed cock" or words to that effect. Karen Hughes, top lesbian-looking adviser to the President, was still upset, even though Laura Bush didn't give a shit because, as you know, robots have no feelings. Said Hughes, "Laura was not just a Dewey Decimal-lovin' robotic kooz. She was also a mother to two girls who are growing up to be celebrity spooge buckets. It's hard work" or, you know, words to that effect.)

So if the story gets any legs at all, it's so simple to solve: On the stump and in ads, John Kerry should point out that when his wife made a mistake, she fucking apologized. Isn't that an interesting concept? When you screw-up, you admit your error and apologize for it. Unlike, say, a certain President and his administration, who steadfastly refuse to say they've made any mistakes at all. And then Kerry could follow that with a litany of mistakes and lies. You use Theresa's fuck-up to demonstrate how she has far, far more honor about a mistaken insult than Bush has about a war.