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Monday, November 21, 2011

or·ches·trate [awr-kuh-streyt] verb

1. to compose or arrange.

2. to arrange, especially by means of clever or thorough planning or maneuvering.

I went to an orchestral concert last night. I enjoyed everything about the concert. It sounded amazing (especially to my untrained ears!), I had a few giggles over silly things with friends, and I was even able to relax and let the stress of the day pour off my shoulders.

Going into the evening, I knew I was tired. I had had one of those days that ended with the reminder that I always need more of the Lord and less of the world. So, I closed my eyes during the first number and asked the Lord to meet me there. I didn’t know what I was expecting, really, except that I know the God that I follow is a relational God and He will always meet us where we are and with so much more grace than we deserve.

I opened my eyes and enjoyed the concert all the way through the intermission…then as we sat down to listen to the next number (act? song? performance? not sure…), my mind began down a thought process that brought me to these beautiful reminders:

1. As part of the Lord’s orchestration in our lives, it is our *simple* duty to be obedient to the sheet music placed before us so those hearing the notes of our lives will be in awe of the Composer of the music we play.

I watched the beauty of the strings moving in unison across the stage. I saw the percussionist keep rhythm in the back. I felt the music within my very being as it overwhelmed the room and couldn’t help but stare at the beauty before me. I couldn’t help but be in awe of the composer who wrote this beautiful music and wonder if anyone else saw past the beautiful instruments and people on stage and were thankful for a man who may have lived hundreds of years ago for creating this stunning masterpiece.

2. As part of the Lord’s orchestra, we are to take our cues from the Composer before us. Read His movements, know what He wants us to do at any given time, study under Him and trust that He will lead us through the numbers with ease.

As I looked on, the conductor stood in the middle of the stage with ease and moved his arms in motions that these musicians understood. To myself, an unversed onlooker, they were just pretty movements that looked like hand-dances. To those playing on stage, they were the cadence of the piece before them and the reason they were able to sound so beautifully in step together.

They were obedient to the conductor before them. They had someone to look at, to follow, to watch…and they obeyed. They not only obeyed, but they proved during this performance, that they studied under this man and were able to do what he wanted them to do.

3. As a member of the Lord’s orchestra, we are performers not meant to take glory for ourselves but to point to the glory of the One who’s orchestra we are in.

Each musician on that stage wore black. Each person had an instrument that joined together to create beautiful sound. Each one of these people stood and offered respect to the conductor when he can on and off the stage and each one played with he was called to play and stayed silent and motionless when they had to. They weren’t up there as a soloist. None of them had their name highlighted in the fliers.

And, while each performer last night should have been given a spotlight because of the beautiful work they did, I was reminded that when I am a player in the Lord’s orchestra, I should never desire that spotlight.

Or, even though the conductor doesn’t technically have an instrument in his hand, I am reminded that without Jesus and His teachings and guidance in my life, I would be lost and the noise that comes from every action I take and every word that comes from my mouth would be as white noise if it weren’t for the Lord’s guidance showing me when to act, when to move, when to speak…when to play.

While the composer of the music from the concert is probably long dead and not given enough appreciation for the brilliance of his work, I think of those times that the Lord is not given enough credit for the work He does in my life and how He should receive all glory for the composition of His notes that create a beautiful symphony of grace, love, and mercy every day I live on this earth.

My performance, with the instruments He gives me to learn and under the teachings He has me study and the practice He asks of me, should only…ever…always…bring honor to Him.

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Eph 3:20-21

“for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” - Phl 2:13 NKJV

Monday, November 7, 2011

I emailed this out to some friends about a week ago and decided to share it on my blog as well.

Hi Friends,

Some of you may have already heard about a ministry opportunity the Lord has put on my heart. For those of you who haven't...the summation of the idea is that I am planning a trip to San Francisco on Thanksgiving Day to hand out beanies and Gospels of John to homeless people (you can read details about it here). A few months back I put a call out to see if anyone would want to come alongside this endeavor and help make beanies. The Lord has gifted us with all kinds of abilities and for those of us who can crochet and knit, this was a beautiful opportunity. I've definitely had a response and, although I don't know how many beanies I have yet, I know the Lord has multiplied what I could have made...and then some!

Well, with Thanksgiving just around the corner (just weeks away), I wanted to ask each of you to pray about whether or not the Lord would want you to be a part of the actual outreach. The more i've prayed about it, the more i realize that this can't be something I do on my own. There are many reasons I feel very strongly about this: 1. I am a single girl and it would be foolish of me to put myself in such a vulnerable position by going alone. 2. In Luke 10, when the Lord sent out his disciples into His harvest, they didn't go alone. 3. I don't want to rob anyone of the blessing of serving the Lord simply by not asking.

If it is His plan to have this outreach happen on Thanksgiving, I trust that He will also provide the right people to join together for His glory. If He has other plans for these beanies, I trust He will show me that plan in His timing. Regardless, I will rejoice in Him and in His perfect plan for my life and for those He already knows will be getting these gifts.

If the Lord is leading you to be a part of this trip, i'd love to hear from you (erikamarie82@gmail.com). This email is only to a few people, but I know the list of willing servants is exhaustive! If you know of anyone who would like to be a part of this trip (or would like to be a prayer partner for this trip) please send on this email or refer them to me.

I thank you all in advance...first, for reading my email! and, second, for prayers regarding this ministry opportunity!

Then He said to them, "The harvest truly is great, but the laborers are few; therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest. - Luke 10:2 NKJV

Monday, October 31, 2011

They have definitely made their presence known around the internet, on t-shirts, and in every other form of communication out there, including parodies. Here are a few other…”versions”…

Well…the other day, I found my favorite one. I wrote “keep calm and…” on my bathroom mirror and the next morning, I walked into the bathroom fully expecting a funny rhetoric in response. My roommate, however, surprised and blessed me with her answer:

Keep calm and carry on. Take a deep breath and step forward. It’ll all be over soon, just wait it out. It sounds so simple and reassuring, right? But that would also involve stepping forward in your own faith and hope for the best.

But with the Lord, we can trust that He WILL protect us, take care of us, and direct us through our next steps. So, remember…keep calm and TRUST in the LORD. He will carry you on.

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." - Mat 11:28-30 NKJV

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and depart from evil. - Pro 3:5-7 NKJV

Thursday, October 6, 2011

One year ago, I couldn’t find words to describe so much of what I saw. One year ago, there wasn’t enough time. One year ago, He was in the midst of teaching me trust. One year ago, I was still suffering jet lag. One year ago, He gave me the courage to overcome gripping fear. One year ago, He gave me the words to give others courage. One year ago, I traveled thousands of miles away only to meet family on the other side. One year ago, I was blessed to add a myriad of names to my weekly prayer list.

One year ago, I was sad to leave my memories in the past and face a new day. One year ago, I turned a page from one journey to another. One year ago, I wore yellow dollies and stepped into a new path.

Because, exactly one year ago, I stepped forward from my journey and adventure into an unknown “after-the-happily-ever-after” chapter.

And, exactly one year later, I don’t believe that chapter is closed.

He is still teaching me so much from my time in Scotland. He is still growing me and stretching me in ways I never would have been able to comprehend without my time with Him. My prayers for those brothers and sisters connected to Scotland are still heavy on my mind and in my heart. My thoughts and dreams of going back and being used by Him there still weigh into every decision I make here.

And in one year from now, who knows what story I will be writing? Who knows where I will be, how I have grown, and who I have become?

“O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways.” Psalm 139:1-3

Monday, September 26, 2011

It started out as a small dream and a humble offering of a meager 10 beanies from my hands. It has become a beautiful incense of worship to the Lord from many hands, many hours, and many joyful hearts combining to praise our Lord through the act of service.

Friends, I am so humbled and so blessed by the outpouring of love for this project. Already, I am blown away by the support. Off the top of my head, I can count at least 8 different people who have committed to help make this a reality.

As the Lord has gifted me with administrative qualities, I want to take some time to write out for you the “logistics” of this beautiful ministry endeavor.

1. I have committed to making ten beanies. Others have committed to making “as many as I can” or a certain number. Should you be wondering how many you "*have* to commit to: don’t wonder! Only do what the Lord is calling you to do and consider it worship as you do it! Making this a task would take our eyes off of the Lord and place them on ourselves. This is NOT something we want to have happen!

2. In order to keep heads and tails on the progress, I am asking anyone who would like to participate to just bring me their beanies by November 15th. There’s no need to keep me updated—although, I would love to know that you’re choosing to help, too, so I can be praying for you during this next month and a half!

3. I have looked into making tags for the beanies (ones I can sew on the inside with a short scripture and reminder of Jesus’ love). Unfortunately, the more I look into it, the more I realize how unrealistic it is. The cheapest I have found is a little over $1 for each. That would end up being $100 or more in the end and…well, as I said before. I don’t have an abundance of money; I have an abundance of yarn. =) As a second option, I am looking into printing some small business card sized papers to give with each beanie and a Gospel of John.

4. I have been seeking the Lord on the right time to go up to San Francisco to hand out these beanies. I keep going back to doing it on Thanksgiving Day but, because of some insight from others who have done this sort of outreach, I am considering another weekend as well. If handing them out is something you are interested in, please let me know. I would love company no matter what day I head up there. =)

5. The question has been asked: why San Francisco and not your local community? I wish I had a really good answer for you. Simply put, it’s what I felt the Lord calling me to do. I am not at all against a local outreach of this same sort. It may come to that depending on what the Lord shows me. For now, I am still leaning towards San Francisco. It’s not a matter of WHERE so much as it’s a matter of WHAT and WHO: what are we doing? What is the purpose? Who are we doing it for? Who is receiving the glory?

Again, I am so blessed by each of YOUR hearts for this ministry. Continue to spread the word, should the Lord so lead you.

Monday, September 5, 2011

“Daniel answered and said: "Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, For wisdom and might are His. And He changes the times and the seasons; He removes kings and raises up kings; He gives wisdom to the wise And knowledge to those who have understanding. He reveals deep and secret things; He knows what is in the darkness, And light dwells with Him. I thank You and praise You, O God of my fathers; You have given me wisdom and might, And have now made known to me what we asked of You, For You have made known to us the king's demand." Daniel 2:20-23

Never forget to praise the Lord for answered prayers. Never forget to thank Him for clarifying confusion. Never forget that truth, revelation, and peace come from God alone.

Never forget that without the Lord, we are confused, unwise, weak and in the dark.

With the Lord, however, all that changes. With the Lord, He gives us wisdom, might, knowledge.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

“…for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.” Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.' Matthew 25:35-40

I’m going to put this out there. I’m going to ask for your consideration. I’m also going to be getting on my knees beside some of you and seeking the Lord on this.

When I think of the verses above…and consider the small and insignificant person that I am in comparison to the world around me, I am often overwhelmed at the thought of action. The idea of how much hurt, pain, hunger, and sickness in the world paralyzes me.

It should move me.

But I sit here and go through the faces I see on my way to work. I think about those that I have come into contact with as I walk the streets of Downtown SLO. I wonder at the stories of those asking for money outside the grocery stores. And I once again am overwhelmed – “surely, Lord,” I implore, “there must me something I can do to reach these people with Your love! I don’t have money, I don’t have a place to invite them in to warm themselves…and yet, my heart reaches out to them. What skill set have you given me that I can use to bring your Gospel to them?”

And, as I sat, waited, and listened to the Lord, I knew what that more was.

There are an estimated 7,000-10,000 homeless people in San Francisco. My dream…vision…prayer…is that we can, together, make enough beanies this Autumn to be able to warm the heads of many of these people come Winter. I don’t want to put a limit on the Lord. He could definitely and supernaturally allow for us to make 10,000 beanies…I wouldn’t complain!

My personal goal is to make ten beanies out of the yarn I already have at home.

And then, on (or around) Thanksgiving, I want to drive up to the City and share the Lord’s love with these people. Each beanie that is made will have a tag sewn on the inside of it that points to the Gospel. Each beanie will have, wrapped up in it, a Gospel of John for them to keep.

Each beanie will be prayed over as it is being made, in hopes that the person who will ultimately get it will know how much he or she is loved by our Lord.

Will you consider being a part of this?

Will you pray about making a commitment to make some beanies?

Email me at erikamarie82@gmail.com or leave a comment below. Let’s see what the Lord can do through us – small, insignificant, people – and glorify Him in the process!

Friday, August 26, 2011

I wish I could remember who first said this. It was in the “June with Jesus” series on the Reality Carp website, but that’s as much as I remember.

As I think about this this fact, I realize the implications that come with it. Trials are things that will shape who we are. They will become part of what we will become, be a part of who we will be, and change us in ways that we never could have imagined. (Photo found Source: ideastage.com via Emily on Pinterest" target=_blank>here.)

Think of a wound.

Most (sane) people, wouldn’t self inflict something like a gaping gash on their leg just for kicks. It’s more likely that it happened unexpectedly. Then, there are the necessary reactions to the event. After the initial pain, tears (if you’re me), and full realization of the even comes the cleaning, patching, and bandaging.

Before antibiotics, wounds had to be cauterized to prevent infection. This involves (to the best of my knowledge) the action of burning the wound to prevent any infections. Obviously, this antiquated process isn’t used as it once was… but even nowadays If a wound is deep enough, stitches will need to be used. (once, my sister hurt herself so badly they had to do a layer of internal stitches before the external layer).

Any way the wound is dealt with, it’s going to hurt. Even with the smallest of scratches: you pour peroxide or alcohol on it and your breath is pulled in as you try to push past the pain.

It’s the times that the treatment hurts more than the original pain. It’s the realization that what you’re doing is actually going to help relieve the pain, but the process of relief starts with hurt. It takes suffering through the pain of cauterizing in order to move past the pain of the original wound.

But, the pain of the process is to relieve any persistent or long term pain.

An untended wound could lead to infections that can spread to the entire body. Even infections that can spread to others. It could lead to persistent pain, amputation, even death.

Just like trials.

See, the Lord doesn’t just allow us to suffer through trials just for the sake of suffering through a trial. But, He does allow them. And, it’s the cleaning of the wound and tending to bandages of each trial that tends to be the most painful.

It’s learning the personal ugliness that comes to the surface and having to deal with it.

It’s the possibility of losing someone you love, having to walk away from a friendship, or saying no to something you want to say yes to.

It’s the realization that, at the time, it wasn’t a fun process. But now, on the other side of it…once the healing has taken place, you can look at the bruise and realize that the pain from the process was worth not having to deal with a festering unhealed wound now.

It’s the relief of knowing that spiritual amputation hurts more than physical and that death can be defeated through faith in Jesus Christ.

It’s thanking the Lord, through it all, for knowing that He is in charge, that He knows the outcome, that He’s been the Doctor on many more cases than just this one.

it’s saying “I trust you, Father. I’ll accept the cauterizing, bandaging, and peroxide. I don’t know how much it will hurt.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Rom 12:10 NKJV - [Be] kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another Rom 12:16 NKJV - Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Rom 13:8 NKJV - Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. Rom 15:5 NKJV - Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus, Rom 15:7 NKJV - Therefore receiveone another, just as Christ also received us, to the glory of God. Gal 6:2 NKJV - Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Eph 4:2 NKJV - with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, Eph 4:32 NKJV - And be kind toone another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Eph 5:19 NKJV - speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, Eph 5:21 NKJV - submitting to one anotherin the fear of God. 1Th 4:18 NKJV - Therefore comfort one another with these words. 1Th 5:11 NKJV - Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing. Hbr 3:13 NKJV - but exhort one another daily, while it is called "Today," lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. Jam 5:16 NKJV - Confess [your] trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. 1Pe 3:8 NKJV - Finally, all [of you be] of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, [be] tenderhearted, [be] courteous; 1Pe 4:8 NKJV - And above all things have fervent love for one another, for "love will cover a multitude of sins." 1Pe 4:9 NKJV - [Be] hospitable to one another without grumbling.

I heard a message today on my way from work. Admittedly I didn’t engage in listening intently, but I was blessed by the parts I heard. One of those specific parts stuck out to me: practicing the “one anothers” from Scripture.

We are made to be in fellowship. We are made for interaction. Genesis 2:18 says “And the LORD God said, "[It is] not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." We were made to be WITH one another. If us being alone is “not good,” as scripture says, then when we are with one another, it is a good thing.

Looking further into the Genesis account, we read that God made us in His image. This would lead me to suggest that, when we are with one another, we are with a reflection of HIs image…or, at least, we should be.

The exhortation still stands: when we seclude, disengage, retreat, or back out from fellowship, we lose.

We lose the ability to view true humility (Romans 12:16)

We lose the chance to share love (Romans13:8)

We lose out on how to relate to those around us (Romans 15:5)

We lose the blessing of helping someone out in need (Galatians 6:2)

We lose the harmony in singing mutual praise to the Lord (Ephesians 5:19)

We lose submission (Ephesians 5:21)

We lose comfort (1 Thessalonians 4:18, 5:11)

We lose confession, prayer, and healing (James 5:16)

We lose compassion (1 Peter 3:8)

Ultimately, we lose knowing more about our Lord and Savior. We lose learning more of who He is and the many beautiful facets of Him that we can’t see in ourselves.

Oh, but when we respond to His desire for us to be with one another, think of all the beautiful things we will gain….

Today, I am practicing the one anothers of the scriptures in the expectation of catching a glimpse…a part…a facet…of our Lord in another person…and praying that they would see Him in me as well.

Monday, August 1, 2011

a very trustworthy friend told me that it takes 21 straight days to make an action a habit. I can’t exactly tell you if the fact is true (I didn’t google it…but, I can tell you that I think she’s way smarter than google…so I trust her!) but I could tell you what went through my head…

21 days of quiet times

21 days of eating better

21 days of cleaning my room

21 days of making my bed

21 days of sharing the Gospel with someone

21 days of exercising

21 days of showing one person God’s love in a tangible way

even if that isn’t true, it’s still quite motivating. 21 days is only three weeks. that’s less than a month. If the habit is something as silly as making a bed, that takes, what? 3 minutes on a bad day? That’s only 63 minutes that it would take for me to form a habit. instead of the 63 minutes it took me to do other things like…

63 minutes to watch a TV show

63 minutes of sleeping through my alarm

63 minutes of walking through clothing shops

63 minutes decorating my room

63 minutes driving to the movies

63 minutes primping and pampering

63 minutes (plus lots) checking facebook

my actions are ready to speak louder than my words without any prodding from me. and they are shameful, at best. and I am reminded that in the Bible, it tells me that my body and my life are meant to be a sweet smelling offering to the Lord.

is that what I am?

or, do I just look before me and desire to be that sweet smelling aroma as I sit and enjoy idleness?

Monday, May 30, 2011

“Then Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” Acts 3:6

Peter and John couldn’t give this man money. They couldn’t give this man the thing he desperately asked for every day of his life. They walked past him on their way to worship the Lord. He, lame and unattended, sat in plain sight asking for help, asking for the one thing he knew he could try to acquire from those around him: money. They, freed and receiving of mercy, had the One Thing he didn’t even know he needed.

Was he ever told that there was more he could ask for? Did he ever dream of a day when he would be able to walk again…a day when he wasn’t given the title of “lame” but instead was one of those fortunate ones who could walk to the temple to worship the Lord?

Day in and day out, he begged and he sat. He couldn’t go anywhere: not because He didn’t WANT to go somewhere, but because he couldn’t. His life existed within a literal arm’s reach of where he sat and was only changeable upon another’s means.

They, Peter and John came by and changed all of that. They looked at him and saw the soul beneath the filth. They saw the healable pain and longing beneath the lame and unattended physical body. They knew that what he needed was love. It was peace and grace.

What he asked for was money. What he begged for was something to satiate the desire and longing for a greater life. What they saw was that he needed healing. What they gave him was a new life.

Sometimes I’d like to think that I am Peter. That I can be the bearer of good news to the poor, the lame, the needy. Sometimes, I see someone who is so spiritually lame that they don’t realize that the miracle is just under the surface. They are content with being lame. They are happy with their arm’s reach, dependant upon another, self-absorbed life: asking for love and help from expendable and monetary resources. Sometimes, I see past the exterior of what they say they want; and I share with them what they need: a dependency and a freedom in Jesus.

Then, there are the times that I am like the lame man. Sitting in my own filth and using my lameness to gain something from those around me. Unwilling to ask for help and unwilling to see the miraculous freedom right in front of my face. Then, there are the times that the Peters and the Johns in my life walk along my path and share with me what they have: the one thing I need and am not asking for…

Jesus. Jesus’ love; Jesus’ grace; Jesus’ mercy. I need it every day. I desire it less frequently than I truly need it. I long for it in measurable quantities when it should be innumerous.

And I am so thankful for the Johns and the Peters in my life: because without them I would know less of His love.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Two days ago, I was asked “so what are you going to do on your last days here on earth?” My response, in a comical and sarcastic tone was filled with shallow, mocking remarks.

Yesterday, as I scrolled through my Facebook updates and spoke with different friends, I noticed words spoken as eyes rolled and chuckles released amidst response and jokes.

I laughed, too.

The reality of the situation is that these people are being deceived. They are being led to believe an un-biblical “truth” by someone who, biblically speaking, should be assumed false.

1Jo 4:1 NKJV - Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

2Pe 2:1-2 NKJV - But there were also false prophets among the people, even as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Lord who bought them, [and] bring on themselves swift destruction. And many will follow their destructive ways, because of whom the way of truth will be blasphemed.

in a moment of serious, poking fun and mocking those who are deceived is un-biblical. Praying for and lovingly correcting them in the truth is what we are called to do. Ephesians 4:11-16 tells us that we are

to be a part of equipping the saints. We are to speak the truth in love. It tells us that, regardless of our own insecure feelings, we are all a part of the same Body of Christ if we recognize Him as our personal Lord and Savior. If you personally believe that His death on the cross and His resurrection 3 days later conquered sin and was the payment for your sin, then this includes you, too.

Admittedly, I am of those who are also humbled by the exhortation. I can’t laugh anymore, knowing that there are many deceived people out there.

Yes, the Lord could return any time. Yes, He could return today. I don’t know, nor will I attempt to know the time and day of that return.

Mat 24:35-36, 42-44 NKJV - "Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away. But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only….Watch therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched and not allowed his house to be broken into. Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.”

Thursday, May 19, 2011

She is 10 feet in the air. Her foot is set firmly in another’s hand, his body floating precariously above ground by the strength of another’s legs below him. She flies through the air, with a smile on her face. Spinning as a torpedo, destined for a target. Arms reach out and cradle her fall, only to launch her back into the unknown air above their heads.

She still has a smile on her face. Others scurry to reach the contact spot and she is once again rescued from the unknown above her and placed onto a well known medium: ground.

Some call this beautiful—it’s an art and a show of strength. It’s a display of “I dare you” and “look what I can do.” It’s an awe-shocking act of death defying displays meant to drop your mouth open and sigh in wonder at what these people are willing to do.

It’s trust.

With trust, there can be no fear. With trust, there is no limit to what can be accomplished. With trust, you can be launched forward into the unknown. With trust, there is no worry about whether or not you will be caught, just a delight when your feet hit the ground again.

Without trust, there is no launch. Without trust, there is a limit to what can be imagined. Without trust, there is fear and worry and angst and unknown.

It’s faith.

With faith, steps don’t have to be seen, just obeyed. With faith, hands don’t have to be inspected, just grasped. With faith, every moment counts. Every movement is graceful, every display covered in fellowship.

Without faith, a step will never happen. Without faith, one will look but not touch. Without faith, every moment is a lost one. Every movement in the wrong direction, filled with guilt and pain.

This last weekend, I knocked something off my bucket list. I went and saw Quidam, a mind blowing artistic masterpiece that left me speechless—but certainly not thoughtless. The faith and trust that these performers had left me shamed at the lack of faith and trust in my own life. The challenging moments in the performance of having to (quite literally) place their life in another’s arms left me wondering where along the spectrum of trust I fell.

I realized that life, although desired to be neat and tidy, with a list of checked or unchecked items to keep us on task, is never without its moments of faith. Life, as compartmentalized and self-reliant as we wish it, will never be without it’s steps of trust.

And, as I crossed that “one more thing” off my bucket list, I wondered when my next leap would be. Because, although I may not know where I will land, I know Who will catch me…He always does.

Monday, May 9, 2011

I grapple daily with speaking up too much and staying silent. I wonder if my words spoken were scars, cuts, bandages, or balm. I continually remind myself to be quick to listen and slow to speak and then doubt myself when I hear His Voice telling me to share.

Does this happen to you?

We walk a tight rope of fears, doubts, wonderment, and dreams. We hold tightly to those things we know we shouldn’t do and those things that we ought to do. We lean toward the breeze of doubt on one side of the rope and into the abyss of boldness and faith on the other. We walk across holding tightly to the One who will never let us fall.

And within this act, we are reminded that there is no one answer. Sometimes, to stay balanced, we are to share, exhort, encourage…speak. Often times we ourselves are exhorted to pray, listen, comfort…keep silent. Both are necessary in order to stay on the rope.

There is a time for every purpose under heaven. We, ever purposeful creation, are given times to speak and times to remain silent.

Heavenly Father, thank you for hedging us before and behind. Thank you for protecting us and giving us words to say when we need them and the wisdom to remain quiet when You desire it. May we open our ears to hear Your Voice, to know Your will, to be a part of Your majestic plan here on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Have you ever cut your own hair before? Not just a few dead ends or a small fix to your already-styled haircut. But actually taking a pair of scissors and cutting inches off your strands to obtain a completely new, fresh,and lighter look.

Have you ever taken proverbial scissors to life before? Not just the small fixes, but taking scissors to the dead ends and unnecessary length that you’ve allowed to grow in areas of your life that you are recognizing are no longer honoring the Lord.

I stood there in front of my mirror tonight, scissors in hand, and contemplated a strategy plan. Like many other things in my life, this plan had taken months of thought and avoidance. I had originally told my roommate that I wanted to cut my hair back in January and she stared at me, swallowed, and said “ok…good luck!” with hesitation in her eyes.

The “cheering section” for this bold move seemed to be on furlough. But I needed it. My hair was way past it’s due date for a trim and the split-ends, frayed bits, and uneven length were sobbing their story into my mirror every morning.

So were those other parts of my life. The ones that also needed a strategy plan. The split-ends that needed mending, the frayed bits that needed to be cut instead of held onto, the uneven length that just kept getting more noticeable…

And, with my hair, I kept losing the few ounces of bravery I had mustered up and would start back at the “thinking and wondering if I could actually do it” stage. I would even strategize where I would make the first cut and how I would make sure the outcome was good. But I never once touched scissors and never once acted on my impulses.

Weeks went by and I can’t count the times I would tell someone: a co-worker, friend, roommate that I was going to cut my hair.that.day…but to no avail. Those plans of action, strategies, dreams, and wanderlusts continued (even into this evening) warring within me of the reasons I shouldn’t do this and the arguments against them.

It’s going to be ridiculous: who cares, it can be fixed.

I’m going to make an unfixable mistake: that isn’t going to kill you. It will grow back.

I’m too chicken. It’s too difficult. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m going to mess it up. I won’t like the way it looks….the list kept going on.

But, as I said earlier, I was in front of the mirror with my scissors in hand. Sectioning off pieces of hair. pinning parts back. bringing the first section around with a comb, straightening it out, raising my scissor-clad hand towards it…

After attempt four (or twenty), I made the first two-inch cut and knew I couldn’t look back…it was time to cut off the dead ends, fix the frays, trim the edges, and start this new season with a fresh, trimmed, and manageable hair-cut.

And now, after the proverbial fourth (or twentieth) cut from my life—which took months to accomplish—I know that I can’t look back. It was time to leave those dead-ends, frayed pieces, and uneven edges in the past in order to start a new season of my life with a fresh, trimmed, and ready-for-His-plan attitude.

Monday, April 11, 2011

and as sweet as a beautifully arranged “come back” blog would be, I simply don’t have one.

but, I am coming back.

I waited so long for the “right moment” to begin sharing again on this blog. I would try to arrange pieces of information in a format that was worthy of being shared, even. But, in the end, I was always dissatisfied and opted out of posting yet.another.blog.

but today – and for the last few weeks – I am realizing that writing a perfect entry isn’t what was holding up the show.

it was me. my selfishness. my pride. my ache to show you (14 people out there) just how good I am and just how perfect of a Christian I am.

and, well…that’s just not me.

because Jesus already has that position. He, in His perfection, came and covered my imperfection. He, in His inhuman love, came and loved this human mess.

And I am reminded that that is the reason He asked me to start this blog in the first place: to shine His glory and darken any praise that may come my way.