(the first part of this story can be found here)On day, in high school, my friends and I were sitting on the front steps during lunch hour. I noticed an old man shuffling across the street towards the school. He looked unsure of himself and too weak to be out and about. I watched him meander around for a few minutes then walked over to him to ask if he needed any help. He seemed totally disoriented so I took him to the office. He was so very thin and lost—not just physically, but mentally, as well.

I stayed with the man until the people in the white coats came to pick him up. The nurse was wearing one of those white hats with the fly-away wings and there were men with nets. I will always remember his fear and how I felt it in my own heart. After they had taken him away, I went to class. Just before I opened the door, I burst into tears and had to wait in the hall for a minute to get myself under control. I was shocked by the wealth of sorrow I felt for this stranger. More than that, I was so touched by what I had done--as if it were the actions of someone else, or a story I had heard in church. For years I chastised myself for that. I didn’t realize then what the eternal part of me knew and rejoiced in; I had passed a test, one I later came to think of as the Lord’s way of proving whether or not I was still willing.

Many are called but few are chosen. I don’t think I was chosen because I am any different than anyone else except, perhaps, in one way only--I was willing. Of course, the Lord always knew I would be. It was I who needed the knowing.

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26
wise, witty and wonderful comments

I don't know how missed your prior post about the interview, but it's beautiful.

This made me think of my grandfather, who before he was palced into a home for alzheimers, would get out and wander the neighborhood. So many neighbors took him in and showed him love and compassion even though he didn't know who he was.

Perhaps there were moments God tried to "interview" me too but I think I was too selfish to have seen them. I feel like I was/am so utterly unprepared, so completely unfit. But all I am, I will give--even if there's nothing left afterward.

I admire your willingness and strength. These stories feel so organic, so natural to the person that you are that it isn't difficult for me to see how you and God settled things up before the Big Guy came into your life. God bless you, Heidi. XOXO

March 7, 2009 at 11:06 PM

Anonymous

Yes, the Lord could assign us to our ultimate kingdom without us ever needing to come to earth and be tested. We are the ones who have to live through so we learn where we actually belong. (And know it's justified.)

You are so totally special. You know how people listen to all of those pioneer stories and say things like, "I could have never lived during that time." Or, "I don't know how those people did those things!" Well, they didn't know anything else, plus they really were watched over by the Lord. You do what you do for your Big Guy because this is what you have. This is your life. And I am enjoying finding out about all of your preparations. Thanks, Heidi.

I've really appreciated your two posts on what you can see, looking back, might have prepared you for one of your own children, now. It makes me wonder what I might have done that would have prepared me for some of the things I go through now. It's an interesting idea.