The Perfect Child

OK . . maybe I wasn’t the perfect child but I was darned close. Thankfully my mom and dad don’t comment on my blog, even though they read it. I made good grades, I took care of my stuff, I came in when I was supposed to (except that one New Year’s party –sorry mom!), I rarely got in trouble at school (if you don’t count 8th grade), I never got a speeding ticket or had a wreck. My sister pretty much took care of making up for my good behavior so it wasn’t like raising two kids was a piece of cake for my parents. And, when I got to be about 23 or 24, I kinda went crazy. I specifically remember some of those shenanigans and will dare not repeat them here! Mom told me once about that time that I had more sense when I was 15 than I had then.

Maybe growing up like I did, is why I have such a hard time dealing with Chad . . though it seems it’s a whole lot of his generation . . not just Chad. Here are some of our latest conversations — all three of these happened within the last two days — that have me scratching my head and praying really hard!

Petroleum Engineering

Chad is not a good student! It isn’t because he isn’t capable — he’s darned lazy. He thought it was the nicest compliment that one of his favorite teachers in high school told him he was brilliant but lazy.

Me: Chad, you really need to decide what you want to do with your life. You’re going to get your 2 year degree in December and you have to go somewhere else to finish your education.

Chad: I think I’ll go to University of Tulsa. They have a really good petroleum engineering program.

Me: Petroleum engineering?? Chad! I’m not so sure about that.

Chad: Hey . . petroleum engineers work out in the Gulf and I could catch some really big fish while out there.

So, he wants to go to University of Tulsa, major in petroleum engineering (not gonna happen) so he can fish off the oil rigs!

Transmission Fluid vs. Motor Oil

This conversation occurred at dinner. I thought Vince was going to choke!

Chad: You know, all that time I thought I was checking the oil in my car — that’s the transmission!

Hunter Safety

Chad loves fishing and has recently decided he loves hunting. I hate guns so it’s been a battle. He doesn’t own a gun but his friends do and they have been going dove hunting. Chad was also borrowing their orange vest and bought his orange vest and cap while at work yesterday.

Chad: I’m sure glad you don’t have to wear that orange vest and cap when deer hunting!

Me: CHAD! You DO!!

Chad: No way! Deer would see that. You dress totally in camo when hunting deer.

Me: Chad, you wear orange so other hunters can see you and not mistake you for a deer.

Chad: If someone thinks I’m a deer, they shouldn’t be out hunting!

We should’ve known early on! Chad was 3 or 4 in this picture. See the orange line? We painted that line near the end of the driveway. THOU SHALT NOT CROSS THE LINE! Look where he’s standing . . one foot across the line. Look at his expression! I can cross it if I want to! Even if he was a difficult child and a more difficult young man, he’s still a cutie!

Well …..what can I say. My husband had that exact conversation a number of years ago when James put some kind of weird fluid in the leaf blower and blew it up. I wish we were closer-I would come over with funny stories and a well-worn shoulder to cry on. Breathe deeply..most of these daily brainstorms just pass after they are verbally expressed. My husband started in Petroleum engineering-he has one thing to say to Chad. The future is in Energy conservation and alternative fuel programs. No one will fund Petroleum programs now and the future looks worse. Conversely, They are throwing money at him for alternative research. Peace Judy.

I will try to find the article, if you want, about the local poor lady who was out hiking and stopped to put on her jacket. A 14 y.o. and a 16 y.o with guns thought they saw a bear (instead of a lady out hiking) and killed her. Wear the )(*&*(&^()* orange vest!

I was the good daughter. I was 7, 12, and 16 years older than my siblings and most of my growing up years were when my dad was in the Air Force. I was the kid who had to make do with what we had. My siblings grew up in an entirely different economic stratosphere and my youngest brother, especially, almost in a different generation. One would think that I would really be independent and good with money, but I’m not!

My four kids are all “difficult”. LOL. I think it’s because of me. I was an am such a momma’s girl. I make my really kids do things for themselves and respectfully speak their minds. I wanted them to be really independent, etc. I’ve created little monsters, though.

I love your Chad stories. My 19 year old son and his friends have similar half-baked plans all the time. One friend is into diesel trucks. He met a kindred diesel-dude on the internet and decided he was going to move to Michigan where the guy was opening up a diesel shop and work for him. Seeing as how the economy in Michigan is so good right now and all. Brilliant career move. Needless to say, like most of their ideas, it never panned out.

I have to laugh, I had some of the same type of conversations with my son when he was that age. Actually I still have some similar ones and he is now 36; guess what you have in store for you! Boys never grow up I have decided.

It’s so much fun to read your blog, Judy! And love the vintage pics. We raised three boys, and the youngest will be 30 next spring. They’re all out of the nest, self-supporting, and pretty responsible. Until they get together. Then they revert back to ages 10, 14 and 16!

Judy….I think I would run as fast as I could to and get that boy registered into a hunters safety class, he needs an education. This is not a case of him testing the waters like with the line on the driveway…..this is putting himself and others into the danger catagory.

Karen L

PS On the flip side….with how he is thinking….I think no harm will come to a deer.

Tell Chad as the wife of a (former) deer hunter, I can tell him that by law, he needs to have blaze orange showing when he hunts. You are completely camouflaged when you hunt turkey and ducks. That’s because turkey and ducks are shot with a shotgun and not a high powered rifle. A high power rifle bullet can travel a long ways. And you move through the timber like a deer. Unfortunately, those people who can’t tell him from a deer are out there hunting. If I lived close to timber, I wouldn’t walk around in my yard without an orange sweat shirt on!

I had a girlfriend who adopted 2 boys. They were good boys, but the older one dreamed up stuff to do that nobody else ever thought of. Gail often said she never thought about the boys being adopted, but there were moments when she just had to think, “Where on earth did he come from!”.

You’re Chad stories make me glad that my boys are a few years older and we’re past all that.

We lived in FL for most of the boys school years and I still remember Chris telling me he want to work for NASA – trust me that kid is no rocket scientist although he did manage to get through 4 years of school, get his BS, and has a good job working with Geographical Information Systems.

I found with my boys I had to set some guidelines and paid the bills only as long as they were seriously working on their educations and toward being self sufficient.

As far as the hunting goes, my ex husband was a hunter – I’m seriously grateful that my boys were never interested in hunting although they’d go to the *hunt club* with my FIL.

Well look there – even at the age of 4 he loved to dress up. Maybe the hunting thing will pass – they don’t have cufflinks as part of their normal attire! But honestly – if he does want to shoot a gun, gun safety courses are a must.
Cheers!
Evelyn

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