An open letter to the 90's kids feeling lost

I know that this time in your life seems shaky and perhaps unstable at times. Welcome to your mid 20’s. I also know that there is this constant unwavering reminder to feel like you must have your life “together” (whatever that even means).

I don’t care weather you admit it or not- almost EVERYONE that graduates uni has this small period where they feel they need to “establish themselves” and let the world know what they’ve done with that VERY expensive degree.

Well let me tell you, it is completely normal to compare yourself with people you’ve graduated university with and to feel the need to measure up to them. That is okay, but also realize your journey is definitely not the same as everyone elses so don’t be so hard on yourself if you’re not exactly where you want to be. I have a few points to make and I’ll try to keep it somewhat short.

1.) I think if you have two pulls in your life - one pushing towards the road less traveled vs. a more traditional route - go with that unpaved road - whatever that may be - just do it now because honestly you’ll do it anyways. That pull will never go away - it will only grow stronger.

2.) Do what ya gotta do, it’s cool if you have move back home to save some money and sort some things out. It doesn’t mean you won’t be successful, just chill out and enjoy some of your moms bomb ass cooking for the time being. Truth be told it’s more common than you think and no one is judging you for it (probably just yourself).

3.) Social media is definitely not helpful during this transition period. I think it’s important to remember that people put the best parts of their lives online which is awesome but just remember that is just what THEY choose to put forward! Please do not compare yourself with those people because truth be told most of them are probably in the same boat. People don’t have it together, they are just really good at pretending like they do.

4.) Don’t be envious of other peoples journeys. You have your own and it’s going to be an awesome ride. Be patient because perhaps the best has YET to come. Don’t worry about the people getting married, or getting job promotions. Be excited for them because your time is coming as well! You have your own journey and it’s going to be SO good when you’re living it. Recognize the space you are in right now and take a deep breathe because it’s all going to work out in the most beautiful way. Don’t rush this process. This time is where we are really figuring ourselves out and what we want in life and what makes us-US, individuals in this world. Find what drives us, what fulfills us, and what brings us joy beyond simply working to survive.

5.) Say it’s okay aloud. I think we forget to slow down and say it’s okay. It’s okay that you don’t have it all figured out. All our wants and desires come with time, experience and age - this is the simple truth. Trial and error am I right? We aren’t just born with all our goals and ambitions on a checklist for us…we figure it out as we grow as humans so trust that for the time being. It is okay to not jump into a full time job straight out of university or it’s okay if you didn’t get accepted into grad school. Just remember that things will work out for you and you just need to trust your journey. This unsettling feeling will eventually subside but truthfully I don’t think the feeling of “having your life together” ever truly completely goes away. You are the only person that can dictate how you live and view your life.

6.) Once you recognize this space you are in and come to terms with it, enjoy it. Take this time to build strong meaningful relationships, fulfill your personal goals weather that is to travel, pick up a yoga class, or get that dog you’ve always wanted. Don’t forget that you’re so much more than your career. Who are you outside of your job? Find that answer. I’m not saying to be irrational and you probably will have to work a few shit jobs here and there. But take the time to do those things because isn’t that what life is all about?

7.) Heres a little reminder: I,myself, do not have every step of my life sorted out and I’m okay with it on most days. I have a lot of people in my life that try to ground me because to them stability means security and that somehow correlates to happiness. Sometimes I just want to scream out "LISTEN I’ll be okay, I REALLY will be…just trust me". It’s scary for the people that love you, and it’s 100% coming from the most genuine place but I urge you to listen to yourself. Listen to what you want because YOU have to live this life.

8.) Lastly, I hope you know that if you have no one in your life that believes in you, I do. I believe that you will get to where you want to be one day and you’ll look back and be so grateful for that space you had. I’m writing this for you and also for me. I ALSO need reminder that I’m strong and capable and to love this journey of finding myself and everything will work out in the end, SO YOU GET THAT DOG. Let’s get up and live a little and feel a lot.