The A to Z of UPA’s lexicon

This current Government continues to perform or rather not perform like any other and it is only but getting progressively interesting. A look at the UPA’s current lexicon, a guide book to their style of governance or dare I say, ‘misgovernance’?

A – ‘Air’ India approach, which basically means ‘fly it’ to ‘crash it’. There is really nobody eligible enough to pilot the craft, it never did matter whether the pilot had a license to or not to skillfully maneuver the troubled vehicle. Nobody worries about performances any more; the India story has just vanished into thin air. For those who think not, it is time to ‘auction’ your thoughts.

B – When the going gets tough, the tough get ‘banned’. Cartoons, tweets and fearless opinions are taboo. The Government cannot handle criticism in any form, it adopts a ‘blinker’ approach just in case it cannot enforce a ‘ban’.

C – UPA’s grid is ‘centralized’, the wires may crisscross haphazardly, but there is one source of power, the transformer is positioned in 10 Janpath whilst 7, Race course remains powerless. Beware if one is trying to cross the line.

D – Play ‘deaf’, a trait remarkably demonstrated over the last few years. The UPA has pulled muffs over its ear; the cries of the nation keep falling on deaf ears, anti graft protests being the shrillest of them all. Insensitivity as an art form continually mastered by those in power.

E – A misguided sense of ‘egalitarianism’ continues to prevail. Attempts at tweaking of the constitution and quota system for promoting selfish interests diminish, deride and ridicule merit based democratic principles.

F – Like no other, this Government comes ‘First’ in scams. On last count the figure stood at 130 lakh crores (including losses to the exchequer). Doing the simple math, comparing Bofors era to the 2G era, in terms of scam numbers alone, the scam sector has risen by a whopping 2749900% between FY Bofors to FY 2G. 64 crores to 1.76 lakh crores (including losses to exchequer).

G – It all begins and ends with the ‘Gandhis’. The Gandhis remain the life vests for the Congress party. Despite being one of the oldest democratic parties in the world, the Congress party has succumbed to dynasty politics without any trepidation. It has failed to identify and groom new leaders thus making the Gandhis extremely indispensable for its survival.

H – A ludicrous sense of ‘highhandedness’ has taken over the UPA completely, making it believe that it can get away with anything and everything. Lest there be some rare journalistic opinion which surfaces and then expecting an internationally reputed newspaper like the Washington Post to apologize or withdraw its fair opinion on our Prime Minister is primarily ridiculous, second to terming Simon Denyer as unprofessional.

I – The ‘I’, me, mine approach. Make merry when the sun shines remains the favorite mantra for the ‘inglorious’ few.

J – ‘Jokers’ in the pack famous for their buffoonery and those who continue with their ‘jealous’ tantrums if they do not get a cockeyed glance from the Gandhis. They let out a volley of barks, all but for an eye contact and a little pat. The art of fawning perfected.

K – Responsibilities handed over to Bootstrap Bills like ‘Kalmadi’ is an area of grave concern. One third of our MPs have criminally charged cases against them.

L – Loyalty. Rewards and bonus points given in plenty for this factor alone. No ‘love’ is lost between the key stakeholders of the UPA as new dynamics emerge and even as alliances remain fragmented over the quota bill whilst shrewd Karuna continues to play his cat and mouse games. Mamta and Mulayam already veering off in two different tangents over the Presidential nominations. Can ‘loyalty’ bring them all together again for 2014 even as ‘lust’ in the lawyer’s chambers, octogenarian sexcapades and countless ‘loots’ have been swept under the mat.

M – ‘Mummy’ silences the critics and those who dare. ‘Mainstream media’ toes the line. ‘Meira’s eyebrows perpetually arched as all energy is expended in trying to deflate ‘Modi’. ‘MMS’ remains jaded.

N – The controversial ‘Nira’ Radia exposé revealed the ‘nexus’ that was always deemed to exist between politicians, corporate big wigs and senior journalists. The casting couch syndrome exists everywhere, not just in Bollywood I imagine.

O – ‘Octogenarian’ Tiwari passes the test of virility in flying colors. India’s ‘over’ population concerns can therefore never be addressed.

P – The ‘P’C virus continues to work well for the UPA despite Swamy’s relentless efforts at creating an anti-malware software. Only time will tell who will emerge as the vanquished. ‘Policy paralysis’ remains. ‘Poodle’ taunts remain.

Q – ‘Que sera sera ‘ (whatever will be will be) they croon in perfect harmony.

R – Congress loyals await the coronation ceremony of ‘Rahul’ Gandhi. It also gets more obvious with each passing day that Singh is no ‘King’ and sadly never will be. Men like ‘Raja’ are. They who receive a ‘royal’ welcome after a strut in Tihar. Is it time for Singh to step down from his imaginary throne?

S – A failure to understand ‘secularism’ and manipulation of ‘systems’ for vote bank politics has led to fragmentation of ideologies. New ‘scams’ surface even as ‘Sonia’ tries hard to douse the fire, in vain.

T – ‘Tihar’ is a two star holiday resort for short breaks, quite manageable for most.

U – ‘Unlimited’ paranormal activity continues.

V – Congress is ‘very’ aware that the majority ‘voting’ population is not on social networking sites, they remain in dusty ‘villages’ devoid of electricity, drinking water and basic sanitation. A big chunk of this population is still not fully attuned to the scams and debacles of this Government. A stiff wave and a sign of ‘victory’ from the Gandhi bahu was once enough to seal a win. A lot has changed since the Uttar Pradesh debacle for the party.

W – MMS, the tired ‘warrior’ ‘wears’ a ‘weary’ look. The halcyon days are long gone as he continues to bear a ‘withered’ look. ‘Who’ cares?

X – The trail of ‘X’ files run deep, sometimes to far off lands across the Swiss Alps. There are certainly no ‘X-men’ to retrieve them, as yet.

Y – A breed of ‘yes’ men are meticulously groomed to take the UPA to the next stage. Wherever that may be.

Z – The UPA has paid and continues to pay the finest tribute to the great Mathematician Aryabhata, redefining ‘zero’ like it never has before. The ‘zero’ loss theories prescribed by the UPA remain a mathematical marvel, and to it alone.

Author

Sharmila Ravinder is a qualified Accountant with a Finance background and has spent a good part of her life studying and working in India and Australia. She observes the dynamics of this versatile world and its effect on our day-to-day lives. She writes about the changing social, political and cultural climate in India and abroad. She immensely enjoys engaging in debates that encourage multiple narratives. A passionate animal lover, an avid traveller and a movie buff, she gleefully pens her thoughts in prose and sometimes in poetry too. A cat lover and always on the prowl, she has a keen eye for ordinary and extraordinary issues. She also blogs on www.sharmilasays.wordpress.com
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Sharmila Ravinder is a qualified Accountant with a Finance background and has spent a good part of her life studying and working in India and Australia. She. . .

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Author

Sharmila Ravinder is a qualified Accountant with a Finance background and has spent a good part of her life studying and working in India and Australia. She observes the dynamics of this versatile world and its effect on our day-to-day lives. She writes about the changing social, political and cultural climate in India and abroad. She immensely enjoys engaging in debates that encourage multiple narratives. A passionate animal lover, an avid traveller and a movie buff, she gleefully pens her thoughts in prose and sometimes in poetry too. A cat lover and always on the prowl, she has a keen eye for ordinary and extraordinary issues. She also blogs on www.sharmilasays.wordpress.com
Follow Sharmila
on FB:
www.facebook.com/pages/Sharmila-Says
Twitter:
@supershamz

Sharmila Ravinder is a qualified Accountant with a Finance background and has spent a good part of her life studying and working in India and Australia. She. . .