Month: January 2010

It amazes me how much life can change in such a short space of time. A year and a half ago, I was living alone in an apartment in the city, I had just started a new job after just having returned from an extended jaunt abroad. I was happy-ish, but a bit lost, wondering what the heck I was going to do with my life. I had a feeling of being surplus – what was my mission, my goal?

Then blamo! Everything changed. First, I became a Nana. It didn’t materially change my life much at all, but it made me feel differently about thinking-forward. I had another whole generation of people that I could have an influence on. I started to reshape myself around the idea of being Nana to baby Wyatt. What kind of Nana was I going to be? Cool, of course. Involved. Caring, present, but not ‘in-your-face’, playful, but still strict-ish. So now I was Brigid-Bebe-Mum-Nana.

And then in February 2009 (on Valentine’s Day, in fact), after seeing the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” I decided I needed to shake things up some more. I wanted to meet someone to share my time with…

I made a list. Someone had once told me that if I wanted something, I should think about what form I wanted it to come to me in, write down what I desired, and then put this out to the universe and wait. I had just read a book about a women who describes doing this: The Wishing Year, so I was feeling inspired. I made a list of all the characteristics I wanted in a potential mate. All the really big important things (intelligence, humour, looks, secure, doesn’t want more kids…) and all the little incidental things that seem like just a bonus, but help to sustain a relationship over time (wants to travel, likes nerdy things…). Some of the things on the list seemed silly to put there, but hey, it was a wish-list so I figured I might as well go all-out.

I met Stephen online a few days later, and we started dating in March. Without an exception, he ticks every item on my list.

One day, not so long ago, I was visiting my friend’s wordpress blog. She had asked me to comment on her posts if I felt like it, so I did. In order to leave a comment I had to sign up for an account. One of the screens along the way asked me if I wanted to get my own wordpress blog. On a whim, I signed up.

For a while now (~5 years) I’ve been a part of an online community, one that I recently decided to stop participating in (a story for another time). One of the things I did regularly online was write about various parts of my life past and present, and I missed that. So a blog seems like an adequate replacement.

My intention is for this to be my space to drop thoughts and ideas. I’ve decided to write without considering who is reading and what they might think. Not because I don’t care about the people who might read this, but because it potentially changes what I choose to write. If I feel like I have to be always interesting and engaging, I’ll probably not last very long with it. Best that I make this thing about me, for me.

When my children were babies, I looked into their eyes and wondered who they would become. They had an unfolding future that was unimaginable to me. I worried for the world they were growing up in and for the people they might become. I didn’t know how I would get through the terrible-twos and the even-more-terrible-teens. But gazing into their little faces, full of possibilities and potentials, I fell in love with each them. And now my children are 18 and 21 years old, all the imagined futures are past, and they are adults; fine people. I am so proud.

Almost two years ago, on Leap Day 2008, I purchased a silver bangle. I wear it every day, it jangles on my wrist and reminds me of that day and every other one between then and now. On February 29th 2008, I was lost – my life was changing and I didn’t know where I was going and it scared me. I had been lost for a long time without knowing it, and gradually I woke up to my lostness and it was painful. My solution was to buy a silver bangle and refocus myself forward. I had it inscribed with the words “to thine own self be true” to remind me that if I followed the path of my own choosing, I wouldn’t be lost again. I think about that day often when I jangle.

I have a bet with Bronwen about what 2010 will be called. Will it be “Twenty-Ten” or “Two-Thousand-and-Ten”? There is a lot riding on this bet – $500. In the Frompson household this equates to five kisses.

I am currently gathering data to support my guess. I can’t tell you what I think just in case it sways you one way or the other…but tell me what you think. I need these kisses, reader.

I should also tell you, in case you are wondering … the Frompsons = the Frayles and the Thompsons. My beautiful blended family.