Monthly Archives: July 2009

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #38? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #40? Submit it here before Sunday August 2nd at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

What makes a vibrator worth $185? Granted, that’s a lot of money for a vibrator. The Jimmyjane Form 6 Waterproof Rechargeable Vibrating Massager is a luxury item, a sexy gift for the sensual woman in your life (maybe yourself!), and it gives a lot back for that price.

Editor’s Note: As I was informed of in the additional message when this review was submitted: “Joan Price’s blog celebrates sex after 60. Her reviews reflect the perspective of sex-positive seniors and elders.” How could I not highlight a great review and a blog whose subject matter is wonderful albeit somewhat unusual to see?

Once upon a time about 9 months ago I signed up for the “intimate” section of lavalife. I wanted to meet people and explore my sexuality. I met one person twice and didn’t pursue it.

But I discovered that I liked writing erotica. It was challenging and different and liberating.

So this blog has turned into a combination of erotic fantasy, reminiscences, and product reviews. I also have plans to write the odd theoretical/intellectual post about some things that have been on my mind lately. Porn vs erotica, “slut” and “whore” as terms of endearment etc. I have, you know…thoughts.

Something I wanted to point out though – I occasionally feel badly because I know some of my posts have created some confusion since some are real, and some are fantasy. You wanna know the difference? Look in the labels. Is there a name there? (Such as Flynn, or Jacques or Bunny Ears) If so, then it’s a real person. If not, it’s probably fantasy.

I also want to thank those of you who have been reading since the beginning. This blog has frequently teetered on the verge of an identity crisis. And so many of you have stayed with me offering your wonderful words. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.

As you may or may not know- I have a whole other blog. It’s a more traditional one that will include photos of myself and ramble on about my life. It’s fairly well established, yet gets a fraction of the traffic that I get here. Sex sells ya know?

But this blog and the erotic writing community? It’s exactly that: a community. I feel closer to a lot of you than I do to those who have been reading my other blog for years. Thank you so much for that. It was a completely unexpected side-effect of this project that really just started on a lark, and has quite possibly become the love of my life.

Anyhow, I know that I don’t write nearly enough personal posts in my own voice, so I thought that I would just put it out there that I do cherish all of you, and appreciate it so much that you take the time to visit my little corner of the erotic-verse.

And for those of you who do take the time to send me naughty messages? Please do keep it up- I love them all!

To be honest, when Drew, of the oh-so-fabulous Eden Fantasys sent me this book, I was a little apprehensive. I was expecting something along the lines of a Cosmo article. You know the ones they publish every month: “What he REALLY wants but won’t tell you – Cosmo knows!” or something like that? Every month the same thing, condescending and unoriginal.This book? I was totally taken aback with how impressed I was. Not only is it intelligently written (i.e. not talking to you like you’re a teenager) it actually acknowledged the way things really are, and not one of the questions that I had running through my head was ignored.

For example? I’m not so much a fan of anal. I know it can be fab- but my one experience with it was less than stellar. So the thought of analingus was completely unappealing in a ew-that’s-icky-poo! kinda way. She actually took the time to address the fecal matter situation and how to do it and what to expect. Hmm.

The book starts out in a very logical way- explaining about our boy and girl parts with diagrams. But she’s brief and to the point about it. Not clinical, but using correct terminology. And then she moves on in a logical way. From erogenous zones to communication to oral sex/hand jobs to toys, G-spot stimulation, anal, role-playing, fantasy, erotica and finishing with BDSM.

She writes like you’re having a conversation with her. She gives tips on how to do things better, and acknowledges where problems may lie. And not all of it is just plain common sense. My favourite example? She presents a scenario in the “Fantasy” chapter about a man who wants a threesome with another woman and his partner isn’t into it. She offers options available to you to compromise, and I now have something that I would like to do: go to a strip club with a partner and let him watch while I get a lap dance etc from one of the girls there.

And the BDSM section? I admit – I knew about Doms & subs, but had never heard about tops and bottoms before. And she presented all the different scenarios where one may be a top sometimes, a bottom at others and a “switch” even at other times.

This book? I loved it.

When you’re done over at Eden Fantasys in the adult toy section why don’t you hop on over to the book section and add it to your order? I promise you won’t regret it. I doubt there’s any one of us who wouldn’t get at least something out of this book.

First off, some administrative business: Have you entered my vibrator contest yet? Don’t forget that it closes at midnight on Friday!!

I love men. The hardness of their bodies. Their ability to overpower me simply with their size. The roughness of their hands. The fact that they aren’t delicate or fragile.

But occasionally? I’ve encountered women who have sparked something in me. A curiosity. A willingness to try something different. A primal sensuality that makes me want to reach out and touch them. To explore them and be explored.

It’s only occurred once or maybe twice in my life. But when it has happened, it’s been powerful and completely unexpected.

Her name was Juliette and I only met her once. We really didn’t even speak that much – but there was something about her. The thoughts that I found running through my head about her were shockingly unprecedented. To this day I’ve never even kissed a woman.

Juliette was lovely. Dark hair, big eyes and sensuous curves. She was clever and funny, and soft and kind of dreamy. I don’t even have a clear picture of her in my head anymore- just a warm memory of how she made me feel.

I wonder what would have happened if we had ever found ourselves alone together? Would she have been open to the idea? I even longed to tell her what she was doing to me. Had we known each other even slightly, I probably would have.

For the first time I found myself staring at another woman’s lips wondering what they tasted like. How would it feel to have her tongue on my mouth. Would it be any different. I imagined it would be softer, more gentle. But why? I know that my own carnal urges can get the best of me – and gentle is not typically what I look for.

And her breasts…they were perfect. Ample and perky and tempting. I do find men’s nipples to often be disappointing. To suck on a woman’s breasts…to bite her nipples the way I like mine to be…I could imagine that first experience lasting for hours.

I know that she was straight. She had dated someone that I vaguely knew. How would that affect the experience? Would we be able to overcome the shyness? The hesitation? Or would our curiosity and openness make us all the more willing to experiment? Nothing off-limits because it was all so new and forbidden for both of us? Testing the waters to their limits to find out what we liked and what was the most arousing?

I wasn’t shy about exploring my own body. I knew very well what turned me on and how the female anatomy worked. Women are so much more…complicated than men in so many ways. So much more cerebral when it comes to sex. So much more challenging to stimulate.

I found myself wondering what her buttons were. Would she allow me the leisure to suckle her breasts? To kiss and caress her? To simply lie together in a state of partial undress- exploring?

How long would it take before our reluctance and hesitation melted away in a wave of desire? Had she ever experimented, I wonder? I has friends who at least had made out with girlfriends in their wild university years. I had never had that opportunity arise, but I found myself increasingly un-opposed to the concept.

To lie together and just touch was nothing short of an intoxicating dream. To feel the soft wetness of her tongue on my earlobe, my neck, my collarbone. Her hands caressing my breasts, running her nails down my ribs; tickling my thighs. My breath catches in my throat just thinking about it.

How shocking would it be to feel her breasts pressed up against mine? Her nipples running down my stomach – her tongue licking my inner thigh, moving slowly upwards.

I could picture running my fingers through her hair – luxuriating in the silky softness. What would be it be like to feel that hair all over me? On my stomach, my legs, my back…

Certainly like nothing I had ever experienced with any of the men in my life…

Who would be the aggressor when we found that we wanted to go further? How erotic would it be to undress another woman completely? To pull her panties down over her hips, and feel her nails brush against me as she returned the favour…I can imagine the entire scene as through a haze – in a delicate mist of surreal delirium.

I could envision us naked. Entwined together. Passionately kissing and rubbing our bodies against each other – taking our time getting accustomed to the feel. So similar, yet completely unexplored. The same softness, and the same need and arousal.

But there my imagination stops. I’ve never been with a woman, nor have I ever really tried to envision what it would be like. As much as she affected me, I still find it impossible to carry on with the fantasy.

Perhaps I need the actual physical contact to continue? Or perhaps it was simply a one-time anomaly? A passing illusion of heat – when in reality my desires actually run elsewhere. Perhaps I’ll never know for sure.

The door shut behind me and I sighed with relief. After months of erotic writing I found that I still had certain areas that I was shy about. I could walk into a sex shop and chat up everyone there without blushing – but a drug store? It still made me uncomfortable.

Perhaps if the cashiers weren’t always teenagers I wouldn’t care. But when I find a 16 year old boy ringing through my condoms and lube- it just makes me want to get out of there as quickly as possible. Silly really that I would even give a passing thought to imaginary adolescent snickering – the thought of it just annoyed me more than anything.

The other night I made my first lube purchase. Surprising at my age that it wouldn’t have come up as necessary before now. I guess I don’t have too many issues with moisture.

I found that it became a necessity once I began doing product reviews. When was simply using my toys because they were fun and I was in the mood it wasn’t a problem. But when I began to encounter deadlines – well the playtime became a bit less leisurely and more of a demand. And sometimes? I just haven’t been in the mood- which made the review that much harder to do.

Lube seemed a simply solution, although I was fully aware that I was doing things a bit backwards. Just because I could now insert the toy with ease didn’t mean that my mindset was in anyway improved. A valuable lesson here boys: with women, it’s much more about the mind than it is about the body.

One does have to be aroused to enjoy the toy (and the experience). Playing with the toy does not make you aroused. It just doesn’t work that way.

Anyhow…

One thing that I hadn’t counted on – which definitely did NOT assist in the arousal experience? How positively frigid the lube would turn out to be. Chemicals or not, the next time I don’t have a willing partner to assist? I’m going for the warming kind – what a shock to the system!

Toy companies? Paying attention? That’ll be my next request…

Want to join in on some more group action? Here are some others telling you about what happened when the door shut behind them…

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #36? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #38? Submit it here before Sunday July 19th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

It also works very nicely for when he has already came multiple times and I still want more- I strap this on him, set him in a chair, and fuck myself silly. He enjoys watching me get off, I enjoy the intimacy I still feel by being connected to him, and I have my blissful orgasms.

Editor’s Note: Not only is this a wonderful review, as always, from Beautiful Dreamer, but just recently my girlfriend and I were remarking how we needed to try a thigh harness and so of course there was not one but two thigh harness reviews in this week’s list, gotta love when things like that happen. I hadn’t seen The Fix before, and it’s a gorgeous product worthy of this great review.