Kevin Bacon proceeds to let out a long, loud fart. The husband covers
his mouth and nose. The wife looks at Kevin Bacon in disbelief. Kevin
Bacon has an expression like an amused child.

Husband: Oh my god.

Kevin Bacon laughs and puts his hand in the air for a high five.

Announcer: This is one movie club you’re gonna want to be a part of.

The shot cuts to Kevin Bacon picking up the couple’s phone and dialing a number.

Kevin Bacon: Hey, listen, I may have to crash here tonight. Things are not going so great with the ball and chain.

The wife and husband look at each other and signal each other in the negative. Husband mouths: What am I going to do?

Announcer: Kevin Bacon in your house. Imagine that.

Shot cuts to Kevin Bacon holding a picture frame in one hand with his
other arm around the shoulders of the husband. He is holding a beer in
the hand of the arm around the husband.

Kevin Bacon (shakes head negatively): Oh no, one of these kids is not yours.

Husband: What?

Kevin Bacon: Oh, you’re wife is definitely not telling you something.

Shot cuts to Kevin Bacon sprawled on an island in the center of a
kitchen. He is surrounded by empty cans and the husband and wife look
on disapprovingly. He knocks back another swig from a can and knocks
empty cans off the counter with his leg. Sad piano music plays in the
background.

Kevin Bacon: You guys are like the real thing.

The shot cuts to the image of Kevin Bacon’s head and the yellow text that says KEVIN BACON MOVIE CLUB.

Announcer: The Kevin Bacon Movie Club

Shot returns to Kevin Bacon sprawled on the island counter.

Kevin Bacon (clearly drunk): So, I say. Ok, so it’s in space. We should
shoot it in space. Nobody wants to do it. They’re like…ahhhgh, that’s a
dumb idea. Ron Howard’s like ahhgg, that’s a dumb idea.

The shot cuts to a stock appearing promotional image with a telephone
number, 1-800-BACON-CLUB. The MasterCard and Visa logos are visible.
There is also text that reads: Call now and receive your first Kevin
Bacon retrieval absolutely free.* Lower down it reveals that the Kevin
Bacon retrieval is *A $300 VALUE.

Announcer: Join in the next twenty minutes and your first Kevin Bacon retrieval will be free!

The image cuts to two men who look like bouncers dragging Kevin Bacon out the front door of the couple’s house.

Bouncer #1: Come on.

Kevin Bacon: Where are we going?

Bouncer #2: Somebody in Idaho wants to watch Footloose with you.

Kevin Bacon (Cheers right up): Oh. (He smiles at the camera) See you next month.