About Me

Performance poet
Makes a living solely by shouting
Sells nothing
No books, CD's, merchandise of any kind
No teaching no broadcasting
Nowt
Punk rock ideology: no sell out
No obeisance to any convention
fast, slow
dumb, smart
light, dark
hi-energy
ever more physical/ theatrical
max variety
60 shows a year in Canada on the summer fringe tour
Born 62
Comprehensive peasant
Posh university, Bristol
Did nothing in 20s except think & be v poor [a lot]
Started performing 93
Began big word, weekly poetry cabaret
Rather very good, now forgotten
Islington
Then did Edinburgh, 96-04
Three-act show
First successful edfringe poetry cabaret in decades
Made money saying Pay As You Like At The End
Moved Edin ‘01
Began cabarets & slams
Decent shows, v successful, much impact, great fun
Tried Toronto Fringe in 01
First toured Canadian fringes in 03
Hour shows
Most fun & success ever
First ever performance poet on tour
Toured there ever since
30+ 5 star reviews
150+ 4 star
Went nomadic in 06
No home for 43 months & and counting
Write shows over winter, perform over summer
Bags of laughs
Bloody marvelous
How did it all work out so well?

Sunday, 11 October 2009

yawner

YawnerVancouver, September 17, 2009

As I've been implying, the Fringe tour is bloody exhausting … like frequently shattering … the show, the sell, the blagging, the line-ups, the late nights, the beer, the ups the downs the crash bang wallops.So I never sit at the front at shows, because I'm much too tired to laugh and even the funniest show is going to leave me stony-faced … So I might be thinking that's really funny … that's hysterical … and that's really funny … but I'm rarely going to actually laugh out loud because I'm just plain knackered. In other words, I do not make good audience and usually sit near the back.But even worse … is the shows I've loved where I was actively yawning when the performer looked at me … Which is undoubtedly bad form. Of course the stage lights mean that quite possibly none of them, except the first one below, saw me, but still, it's a crap solidarity.

So, with due apologies, here is my list of … GREAT SHOWS I HAVE YAWNED DURING, WHILE THE PERFORMER WAS LOOKING AT ME.

Moving Alongmy favourite show of the yearjust plain brilliantbut yes I visibly yawned during the showwhile Chris Craddock was looking at meand as I was in the front rowwhere I never normally sitI'm sure he saw meembarrassing, certainlysorry

Jimmy Hogg - Like a Virginfunniest show of the yearbut I have a decent excuse for yawning while Jimmy was looking at meI was exhausted from all the laughingyet, ahem, sorry

Pipafortunately me and Tamara Ober hadn't properly met when I yawned during it so she didn't know who I wasbut still, sorryand it wasn't during the gorgeous butterfly bit

FruitcakeRob's an old mate of mine, we did Edinburgh together for years, and I love to take the piss out of himthough it is of course too easybut I'm still cringing about yawning during his second-ever performance of the blockrocking FruitcakeI strongly doubt he could see me with all the lights, but still, it's the lack of thought that countsSorry guv.

Cabaret TerrariumIt felt suitably abstract to be yawning instead of laughing during the this offthewall deadpan hoot of a show by the New York duo Harrington and Kauffman. I also stroked a wooden frog with a stick instead of laughing but, in this show, this practice is normal and even encouraged.Whatever, sorry.

Straight from That Side of TownI loved this showWhich, as I said before, must be the best show in years to tour the Fringe to sod-all audiencewhat is happening?but yes, I even yawned during the hysterically funny sex scenewhoops, sry

Murder, Hopethis brave show by theelephants wish to be nimbleratman andSeattle firecrackerwhich one am I?bobinsorryI managed to squeeze a good hearty yawn into

The Seven Lives of Louis RielRyan bloody Gladstone hadn't even finished writing his script when I saw his show … and it was still bloody funny and everyone loved it … he even had to ask his lighting guy, Jonny P, for a few prompts and they loved him even more … If I did that I'd dry up and it would be horrible … 'cos I can't ad lib at all, and I mean at all … I have to rehearse an ad lib for two weeks and it still always goes wrong first time 'cos I forget where I am after I've done it … the show is programmed into my head in a particular order where people like Chris Gibbs and Ryan can muck about as much they like … Chris Gibbs likes to get as far away from his script as he possibly can, he actively wants cellphones to go off, kids to cry, people to come in late, people to fall off their chairs laughing, 'cos he can deal with anything … where me I have enough trouble dealing with the original plan … Bastards.And yes, of course I yawned during it, it was the start of Winnipeg and I was already shatteredSorry

Even Inanimate Jungles have ClocksJolene Baillie's great dance show in Winnipeg.I actually wrote half the text for this show, but still managed to yawn during some of my own words while she was looking in my direction. Which shows I'm not biased. I even liked the words. Well, they weren't actively bad.She didn't know I was there, and I was a few rows back, but still, sorry.

Red BastardSorry Eric, but I didn't actually yawn during your show … it was early in the tour, Montreal, and I was still good and fresh and well-slept and well-fed and unjaded, and fitting my trousers and not having to extra-notch my belt, and capable of a conversation about something other than myself, and even still able to read a book without large pictures and even read a book with text, and small text at that … But I thought I'd mention your show because it sits so nicely in this list of killer shows.Only Red, Straight, Murder and Louis Riel are here in Vancouver.