Kim Kardashian dramz took two tabloid covers this week, Star Mag and Us Weekly. In addition to those cover stories, every other tabloid is carrying a major story about Kim and Kris Humphries and their troubled union. It seems like Kim and Kris are experiencing the dreaded “Three Week Itch”. You know, that thing that EVERY married couple experiences when they realize that three weeks into the marriage that they only got hitched for ratings, a new storyline, free stuff and magazine covers? Or maybe the whole “marriage in trouble” storyline was ALWAYS part of the deal, just another way that Ol’ Kat-Face could remain ass-ahead of her sisters. Whatever the deal is, here’s what’s going down:

-Us Weekly says that Kris Humphries was “really rude” to a group of photographers waiting outside the rehearsal dinner before the wedding. A source gasps, “In Kardashianland, you just don’t do that.” Kourtney and Khloe think Kris is a “weird, big, clumsy oaf,” and have been giving him the cold shoulder, so it’s been super awkward having him around. Kim cut footage from the show because it was so tense between Kris and her family. “They were grilling him, and he was being a dick,” an insider says.

-Us Weekly also says that Kris thinks Kim is materialistic: Kim had a meltdown over losing a $75,000 earring in Bora Bora and Kris called her “materialistic.” In Bora Bora, there were rose petals on the bed, and Kim wrinkled her nose and declared them “messy.” But then Kris proposed with — what else? — rose petals. And! Kim told Kris that she can’t live a “lesser lifestyle,” which is code for “middle class.”

-In Touch says that Kim and Kris are having the “post-wedding blues.” The reality has set in, and it’s getting tense, because they have very different ways of living. Kim is worried about having to relocated to the middle of nowhere, if Kris gets signed by a team in an icky state. Also, Kim shops and shops and shops, while Kris is unemployed. They are married, “but financially they are divided,” says an insider. Also — and perhaps worst of all — “Kris snores like a freight train.”

-Star Mag confirms: “Everyone in the family hates Kris,” a source close to the family tells Star. “Kris and Kim’s brother Rob argue nonstop because Kris is always talking down to him … Kris asked Khloe if her husband Lamar was gay and if their marriage was a cover-up. She was offended and really ticked off!” Kim’s mom has demanded that they “cool it” because “it may damage Kim’s reputation if viewers see how much the Kardashians dislike Kris.”

-Star’s sources also say that Kris is pissed off at the “scripted” nature of EVERYTHING: “Just days before walking down the aisle Kris freaked out. He’s sick of how their lives are planned out like a scripted TV show, he doesn’t like how their relationship is all for the cameras …” Also, just days before the wedding, he freaked out. “Kim’ mom convinced him to go through with it.” Also, Kim told Kris she’d been planning this wedding since she was 10 years old, and he snapped: “Yeah, and you could just slot any guy into it.”

-Star says Kris is already flirting with other women: Right before Kim and Kris said ‘I ‘do’, Kris was reportedly spotted flirting with two mystery blondes at Hollywood hotspot Skybar at the Mondrian Hotel. “I couldn’t believe it,” Skybar worker Steve Werner tells the magazine. “Kris was there with one of his friends, and they were getting a ton of attention from the girls at the bar. Two blonde girls in particular caught Kris’ eye, and they were getting a little too cozy, especially considering it was the week of his wedding. At one point he had an arm around each of the two blondes. They were laughing and drinking and kept asking to feel his muscles.”

-Miscellaneous: Kris is verbally abusive to Kim. He’ll roll his eyes when she talks. She’ll try on outfits, and he’ll say, “That looks terrible on you!” Plus, he was seen smoking a joint at the Skybar in Hollywood and no one does drugs in Kardashianland! There’s already talk of what will happen should they get divorced. In the prenup, she gets half his money, but he gets nothing of hers. Also: Kris isn’t wearing his wedding ring. “The romance was so rushed,” a source close to Kris says. “This marriage will not have a long shelf life.”

The lone desenter in the tabloid herd this week is OK! Mag, which claims that Kim, Kourtney and Khloe are in some kind of “baby war” as to who can get knocked up the fastest. All three sisters seem to be talking about babies, thinking about babies, and actively trying to steal and eat babies (I’m assuming). Wouldn’t it be funny if the only stud sperm that worked in inhospitable Kardashian womb was that of Premo Stallone?

The photos of Kim in gold are from last night’s NYFW event – I like the dress but it’s too tight and too Vegas. Her Size 4 is spilling out.

If what the tabs say is true then I like Kris b/c he’s calling out each and everyone of them on their famewhoreness. He even asks if she’s really crying when she starts weeping b/c she lost her 75k earrings. Of course they don’t like him, he sees right through them. #TeamKris all the way!

What kind of prenup is that? How does she get half of his when she’s clearly the wealthier of the two. How was that set-up?
These ppl make me sick. I think this squabble is all for the show as well as the phony wedding.
I think most ppl are so sick of them with them from all the wedding talk and now this that no one will even watch the actual wedding show. we can only hope that maybe this will lead to the cancellation of anything Kardashian.

@Liz-I don’t doubt that for one bit, but as a human you want to see the good in every person. I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he believed Kim was a different person behind the scenes. Plus, anyone who calls out these famewhores is good in my book.

What do you expect when you marry someone 15 mins. after you meet them just to boost your show’s ratings? Where’s true love anymore? Is their life so plastic and onscreen that all their decisions are made with the money-making factor in mind? Hey, as long as Kris gets her 10%. Pathethic and sad.

she cannot live with anyman because crazy about shopping and surgery and botox and be in the front camera get attenttion from other that all have nothing to talk about spend money for shopping never help other poor just them self and think they so better than other i don,t like them nothing they do it great really

The only thing I take from this nonsense is that it’s ‘verbally abusive’ to roll your eyes and tell your wife she looks terrible. Ok. What a bunch of idiots. And how can she get half of his money and he gets none of her’s? I think he’ stupid, but not THAT stupid.

Poor guy probably saw her without her usual 10 pounds of makeup, false eyelashes and industrial-strength Spanx, haha! Can you imagine what happens when she peels the Spanx off at the end of the day and washes her face? I’ll bet she doesn’t even look like the same person.
And he’s only just realizing that she’s “Materialistic”?? Hahahaha, he’s even dumber than I thought!

@brin, was that the one on the Soup? It was priceless!
Skybar is a total pick up joint, albeit a high class one. The restaurant is good too. If that’s where he was hanging, he was looking.
If I lost a 75K earring I’d be pissed too. Of course, I don’t make what Slutgirl makes for a living.
One other thing, and I am not defending her, BUT I got married after 5 years of dating, have been married 17 years and I will tell you that I lived at home until the day I got married at 25-my parents were cool and had a big house and no rules as long as I stayed on scholarship). (Hello, Father of the Bride) Anyway, I clearly remember being in the bed before sleep asking myself “what did I do? I don’t like this!) Then I grew the fuck up and got used to it and have a happy marriage.
She’s been married before and dated him for a short time.
When do we start the Break-up pool????
6 months? I give them a baby popped out, tops. Of course, if her sister can put up with her asshole, Scott, who knows what Kim will put up with to save face.

She needs to find someone her own age (or older) and stop messing with the young guys. Everyone knows they only want and need one thing. BTW, Khloe and Lamar knew each other in less time and their marriage seems to be going strong so the time issue is not the problem.

My estimation of kris just went up too, and if that’s true 2# I wish i would have seen the interview and I don’t care for fox. I just want to know who are their true loyal fans that buy into this nonsense. All the guys and girls i know call them fakes. Maybe fox will start a trend that the media is disgusted with itself for conniving to make these morons “famous” and will prayerfully ignore them.

Kimmie kakes and the kartrashian Klan ,I believe
Does NOT want a husband she wants a lap dog.
And for someone to worship her delusional fat ass ,… I truly don’t understand how people can be so out of reach from reality … I can see pimp
Mama black mailing him …. KRIS RUN !!!!!

Shit! I though these publicity stunts wouldn’t start until the 3 month mark. I thought with all the pre-wedding, wedding itself, and honeymoon crap, that this famewhore would be able to ‘sustain’ on that attention for more than three measly weeks.

I watch the show from time to time (I know, I know but I need mindless tv to work out to) and it’s clear that they are trying to turn this Kris guy into the villain. Now that they’re trying to paint Scott (the s is silent) Disick as this business man who loves his family, they need someone to fill the spot.

And the funny thing is because this Kris guy has no filter he’s usually on point. Like in one preview he’s calling Khloe out on only marrying Lamar for his money. Ugh isn’t that what we though all along? She got lucky though since Lamar seems to love her and he’s actually a good ball player.

Whatever though. I thought it might be possible that Kim actually loved him (who lets a guy spit his food into their mouth if it isn’t love?), but with the exception of her mother and Bruce, it’s clear that the other siblings hate him (Kourtney probably because he makes more than Scott and isn’t an alcoholic loser, Khloe probably because she wanted to one up her sisters by being the only one married to a ball player, and Rob probably because Kris is the same age and throws it in his face that Rob is a jobless loser [he's right]).

This poor dopey guy, he should have known better.

And he’s right, Kim is materialistic and she will spend her way into the poor house. Like Paris Hilton her time will come.

So this is marriage #2 for Kim… how many marriages do you think she’ll have through her lifetime?

Considering how much her appearance has changed in past 5yrs, can you imagine what she will look like at 45?

I imagine Reggie finding true love elsewhere and Kim seeing how happy he is, looking at herself and whatever sham martial “arrangement” she’s in… She can’t cry because of all the procedures, so she sells another story about how she is unable to cry. Then a story about addiction to Botox & facial filler injections.

We have seen how “reality” stars getting addicted to the attention. I really hope the entire family’s 15mins are up soon. She’s certainly milked it for every second/dime.

I really wonder if Kim was without all the distractions of cameras, various appearances & endorsements, if she would be able to enjoy life? Fame is fleeting, money doesn’t buy happiness… Family is important. I imagine she wouldn’t be capable to just “be”.

Really? REALLY?! “Her sisters are accusing him of using [Kat-face] for fame?” REALLY?! As if her entire family (with the exception of Bruce Jenner and the son who is doing DWTS) didn’t ride her urine covered ass-tail into fame. Just like she rode Paris Hilton’s herpasyphillitic beak nose into fame.

I don’t feel a bit sorry for her or that doofous she married. I watched him on the show and he IS a total douche like Khloe said. Kim must have “issues” since she was only able to pull in a bench warmer with a “face full of duuuurrrr” (copywrite Michael K).

If he’s really speaking up to her well good for him, everybody can’t be nutless like Bruce and Scott. I’ll bet you can’t find one person on the planet who thought this marriage was real. They don’t do a single thing unless it’s for tv.

Just a suggestion madisyn, if you have cable there is a channel callted RTV retro tv where all those shows can be found;when i have time i occasionally watch McMillan and Wife the 70s styles clothes, cars, homes, etc, are bad but in a cool sort of way and in an odd sort of way are more appealing than todays stuff. IDK, maybe like many i’m into retro stuff because some much of todays stuff is some fake and plastic; the Kartrashians being exhibit number 1.

@#48 One cannot compare Kris and Lamar as basketball players. Lamar plays for the premiere team in the league and has for years. He won 6th man of the year last year. He has 2 championship rings and 3 straight finals appearances. He is Magic Johnson like in his ability to play all positions. He came in 2nd with the Heat. He’s easy to get along with and has suffered great tragedy in his life. He plays with the Black Mamba (PLEASE include Kobe on HGF, please!CB, I beg you, this will make my YEAR!)
Kris is a nobody. Truly. He is a hack player on a hack team.
Khloe lucked out. Big time. And she gets to live in LA. She totally showed up her sister, I personally love it!
Yes, I am a HUGE basketball fan. Kris dreams of being Lamar! Scott just dreams of pussy and alcohol.

Khloe and Rob were both dabbling in COKE. I hope this guy isn’t as doofus as he seems in pictures. I’ve never watched the show, I’m guessing that would be HELL for me to tolerate. MONEY can’t buy happiness, no matter how much you try:-) Keep spending, shopping Kim you still won’t be content.

The entire K family is way too many levels of dysfunctional and needy for attention. Kim wanted a wedding, whether it lasted more than a month or not, and it didn’t matter who the groom was. She will do the same with a baby. If he is stupid enough to go along with it, it’s his own fault. Both of them should have understood that they had to live a married life when the cameras were off as well. Dumb and dumber. Kris is the dumber for agreeing to that ridiculous prenup.

I can’t believe people are cheering him on for being a jerk to his wife. I can’t stand the Kardashians, but this guys is proving nothing except the fact that he is a MAJOR a-hole. If he didn’t love her and didn’t approve of her family, “careers,” or lifestyle, then WHY did he put a ring on it?? He’s the real loser in this story.

Over here we’re still watching the re-runs of previous Kardashian shows but i think i heard somewhere that –just a couple of days before the wedding– Kris H didn’t know Kim had a previous marriage when she was 19 or something.

OMG Peruvian! If this is true that Kris didn’t know about Kat Face Ass’s first marriage then he really is the most pitiful creature. Did he even know about her charming sex video? Poor guy doesn’t know what he’s bought. Super trash slut central.

“Really? REALLY?! “Her sisters are accusing him of using [Kat-face] for fame?” REALLY?! As if her entire family (with the exception of Bruce Jenner and the son who is doing DWTS) didn’t ride her urine covered ass-tail into fame. Just like she rode Paris Hilton’s herpasyphillitic beak nose into fame.
Fuck this dumb ass family”.

I think I’m going to start worshipping YOU NOW! (bellaluna is my twin and I already worship her)

jover

Thank you so much. Unfortunately, although I have cable, I looked up ‘channels’ and no RTV. *frowny face* Never much cared for McMillan and Wife but LIKED McCloud and LOVED Columbo. I thought with Peter Falk recently passing away our local channels that used to feature the show would rerun it, but alass it was not to be.

I’m embarrassed to have an opinion, but Kris the Husband (as opposed to Kris the Mom) does seem like a fame-hungry jerk.

His basketball career wasn’t ever gonna get him this kind of money or attention, and not content with looking Cro-Magnon, he’s also constantly flinging Kim about (seems at least psychologically abusive — exercising physical dominion over someone).

I doubt it’s gonna last, though as has been pointed out previously, these KKs seem to make their marriages work, however unlikely.

@Madisyn: I am far too inconsistent and humble to be worshipped. 99.9% of the planet is funnier than me. Hell, every Celebitcher is funnier than me. All of you keep me laughing. How about we settle on mutual love and respect? Hugs and kisses…

Right about Lamar, huh? No one compares with the greatest, Magic, but Lamar is the only comparable tall player with the court vision and imagination for all positions, and the skill to pull it off.
He won’t get a statue, but he is an exceptional talent and a seemingly sweet guy-The CandyMan, indeed.
Thank goodness he smoked that joint and got away from the Clips.
Khloe really did out do her sisters when it came to dudes. Yeah, I know he has had a couple of kids, but they are the only likeable people in that miserable family.

Hopefully it will be soon the end of promoting these bitches by all media. I wrote a long letter to People magazine after they published her fake marriage wedding photos and paid this bitch $1.5 million!! Many sick kids could have been helped with that money or gone to education and other important venues that is country is so much in need. What she did with that money was buying herself a car that costs $400,000. I just despise and loathe the US media which in fact are destroying the family values in US. People generally are afraid about terrorism for a good reason. However, there is an equal threat to the future of children and next generation by promoting these bitches and telling women that it is okay to be a whore as long as you can make millions. So fucking sad!! And damn you Ryan Seacrest.

You could tell she was over it in the wedding pictures! So Lurch can’t keep ANY of the money from the wedding? That doesn’t seem fair, since they made millions and it wouldn’t have happened without him.

You can’t buy class or respectability. Doesn’t matter if she’s rich, doesn’t matter if she’s married… she’s a greedy ho for life.

I have to say I watched that show where they were on vacation (sigh)… listening to him on that show you can see a hint of him being a bit verbally offensive. And you don’t see any real attraction. Maybe I’m jaded..

She looks better on the STAR cover. I don’t know why she packs on the makeup the ways she does. Khloe is the only one I can stomach. And please don’t let me start on the two youngest sisters. If you think Kim is a mess.. wait for the next generation. Spoiled brats.

Thanks for that link–that was hilarious…priceless! I don’t want to see that guy get in trouble for it, either. So sick of ALL of the Kardashians and their ‘BABY TALK’ and every other word being “like”…they sound like 5th graders. The only one I like even slightly is Kourtney.

Is anyone really suprised about Kris and Kim. Thought the whole thing was a joke from the beginning. Too fast too soon, too much. Can’t stand the show, saw it once or twice which was even too much. Beauty fades and brains well if you don’t have them you never will.

Whatever happens to her and her pursed lips, I hope she suffers, because I’ve been forced to suffer her presence ever since her father got OJ off and croaked. A whole family of plastic people intent on forcing themselves on the rest of us. I look at Bruce Jenner and think, damn, he used to be a good looking guy until he decided he wanted a face like Big Bird. People who insist on deforming their faces so they look ‘prettier.’ They have no concept of what true beauty is.

Hopefully the pre-nup says if Kim gets half of his money, it’ll only be the money he earned while they are married, not before. I hope that the stuff about the pre-nup is fake, but who knows, with this bunch.

I remember waaay back when the show first came on, my step dad was interested in it because Bruce Jenner was on it, and I guess he’s a fan. So I decided to watch with him. I thought it was horrible then (so did he) and now…I have sort of accepted them as just being there. Needless to say, we didn’t keep watching, but that hasn’t stopped them from being omnipresent. Just like how you tune out background noise when you’re working on something, I’ve sort of tuned out the Kardashians.

This happens so often in celebrity world, it doesn’t come as a surprise at all. People get involved in marriage way too early, but the sad thing is the fact that happens to “normal” people as well on regular basis.