Tuesday, April 29, 2008

South Carolina Attorney General Henry McMaster announced today that he will seek an unprecedented judicial injunction against certain residents of North Carolina, the latest legal maneuver in the PalmettoState’s fight for control of water from the Catawba River.

McMaster asked U.S. Supreme Court-appointed special master Lulabelle “Learned” Hipp to enforce a water-conserving injunction against Tar Heel State residents who use water from the Catawba.

“Simply put, these North Carolinians need to ask themselves one question,” said McMaster in a press conference.“Is it yellow? If so, we seek to enjoin said resident to ‘let it mellow.’”

North Carolina’s top attorney was quick to criticize McMaster’s motion in his own press conference, saying his office was committed to staving off the injunction at whatever cost.

“A yellow-mellow injunction is a harsh remedy,” said attorney general Roy Cooper, who uncharacteristically wore shoes to the event due to the television cameras.“North Carolina will fight this proposal whether it takes two months or two years, whichever comes first.”

A B&P News survey of North Carolina residents along the Catawba who have indoor plumbing found that both of them oppose McMaster’s measure.

The Catawba case is not the first time the attorney general’s office has sought judicial relief for controversies between the two Carolinas.In 2000, Attorney General Charlie Condon successfully argued for a judicial decree requiring North Carolinians who “sprinkle when they tinkle” to “please be neat and wipe the seat” at PalmettoState rest areas.