I was a heroin addict for 14 years. From the
age of 18 to the age of 32. I tried to get off of the drug via
the methadone clinic to no avail. I would go to the clinic for a
while and do well, but would always end up with a needle in my
vein within a few months. I don't think the clinics are set up to
help people quit using drugs. I believe they are there to get
people addicted to methadone. That way the government gets their
cut, or tax if you will. But I digress...

After going to the clinic a few times and
failing at varying degrees, I decided to try cold turkey. There
is more to it than that, but it's a long
story.

I bought one last dose of heroin, obtained
some Valium, and vodka, then moved into a little one room
apartment my uncle had in the mountains of North Carolina. Making
sure, I had no way to contact anyone, or get to anyone.
The closest phone was about 13 miles away. I did my shot, and
counted down the minutes till the inevitable sickness would
begin.

About 4 or 5 hours after my last dose I
started to feel antsy. I don't know how else to describe
it. I started to bounce my legs up and down on my toes while
sitting there. I couldn't focus my attention on anything, except
the fact that I had no more dope. My arm muscles felt as if they
fly out of my skin, and my skin was crawling. About 8 to 10 hours
after my last dose I started to feel nauseated, and started to
sweat heavily. These feelings would persist for the next week or
so.

Heroin, and opiates in general make you
constipated. This side effect started wearing off about 48 hours
after my last dose. Unfortunately it was replaced by severe
diarrhea. My stomach also started to convulse with accompanying
vomit and pain. So I spent most of day 3,4 and 5, on the toilet,
or with my head in a bucket, or sometimes both at once. My legs,
arms, and back started to get painful cramps around day 5 as
well.

Listing the symptoms or even describing them
cannot even begin to convey the pain and fear one experiences
while going through this. The poison seems to make a horrid
effort to convince you that you will in fact die if you do not
get one more fix.

The whole physical withdrawal lasted about two
weeks in all. The last 5 days or so it was very minor compared to
the first week. The mental aspect of it I was not prepared for. I
would find myself trying to contact old dope friends, and dealers
just to "see what was up". I would crave the rush of the drug. I
would dream about it every single night. I would close my eyes
and see balloons full of heroin, and needles in my arms. This
went on for about 8 months or so. They say 95% of IV heroin
addicts never get clean, and I can see why.

It has been right at two years since that last
dose, and only now do I feel like I'm not a
junkie.