Human Love and Magnanimty

...This human man and woman thing is confusing for this soul who has had a NDE. No man or woman can measure up to the love that we found on the other side but still I try...or give up having tried...taking less but expecting much more from what is not even made out of the same stuff... Even though I know that loving kindness is
is the real thing...I long for something more from lovers and potential lovers...and it is not fair to them or me... I want my lover to have as strong a love as what I found on the other side... without the filter of flesh... yet having flesh..and it can not be...In heaven there is perfect love but here...I believe the lesson to be learned is to be loving toward something unlovable anyway...even if we are not able to give equally...magnanimity...being bigger than that...at least this is what I aspire to...but fail to achieve each and every day...then forgiveness is the next lesson that we teach one another...when we...do not reach magnanimity...

Trying to match up human love with the love on the other side is as if we are given a set of Metric tools and American standard parts... The tools the NDE'ers have post- NDE just do not always match up well with what we need to handle man/woman intimacy... Sometimes a Metric wrench fits and visa versa...but other times trying to use the wrong tool for the mismatched bolt ruins both the tool and the bolt...We look for tools in our toolbox of experiences we expect work but it is hard sometimes to judge if the tool will work until we try it but insanity for a mechanic is attempting to achieve a task with a tool that does not work for the part we trying to repair... over and over again... If we get poor results with using the tools designed for the other side then we need to find the right tool for the job... at least this has been my experience...and trying to use the mismatched tool that ruined a part before could lead to self destructive thoughts and behaviors... I can't blame the the maker of either the tool or the part...they were both just doing the job they were designed to do...

Trying to answer human love with the love we found on the other side works sometimes but it doesn't always work out that way... this is what I was trying to say... but it doesn't translate well somehow... but I am trying...