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Outgoing Defense Secretary Leon Panetta is bidding farewell to a distinguished Washington career that spanned more than forty years. I first met Panetta when he was a U.S Congressman, shortly before he was appointed as the White House Chief of Staff for Bill Clinton.

In the early 90s I was a rookie television anchor in Monterey County, CA. I lived a few miles from the Panetta family walnut farm in Carmel Valley. When he returned from Washington, usually on Friday, I would interview Panetta to get a “sound-bite” for the local news. We rarely talked politics, however. We seemed to talk about everything else including our shared background as sons of Italian immigrants, catholic school education, or any other number of things we had in common.

Panetta asked me questions and took an interest in me. In other words, he made me feel important. I also remember Panetta as always greeting me with a smile and having a sense of humor, something not lost on President Barack Obama, who said of Panetta, “ You've led with heart and humor. Indeed, they say that you've never seen our wounded warriors smile as wide or heard them laugh as loud as when they get a visit from their secretary of defense.”

Charisma is defined as “magnetism,” a quality that gives people influence over large numbers of people. The definition doesn't adequately explain exactly what charisma is or how to develop it. I think studying leaders considered ‘charismatic’ yields some clues.

What I learned from Panetta: Greet people with a smile, laugh easily, and take a genuine interest in their lives.

“Rock Star” Herb Kelleher. A friend of mine is a pilot for Southwest Airlines. His hero and favorite boss of all time is Southwest cofounder, Herb Kelleher. The pilot calls Kelleher a “rock star.” When I first asked my friend what he admires most about Kelleher he said, “When Herb meets you he looks you in the eye, shakes your hand and wants to know something about you. Once he meets you he never forgets you. He knew my name, the names of people in my family, and would always ask about them when he saw me.” Today Southwest has more than 6,000 pilots so it would be impossible for one person to know everyone ‘s names, but Kelleher’s ability to remember something about hundreds, if not thousands, of his employees is considered legendary within the Southwest family.

What a Southwest pilot learned from Kelleher: Ask for people’s names, something about their family, and remember what they told you.

Brandt Snedeker: Class act on and off the golf course. PGA golfer Brandt Snedeker shot a final round 65 to win the 2013 Pebble Beach Pro-Am. Snedeker is building a reputation in the golf community for his talent on the course and his demeanor on and off it. PGA tour rookie James Hahn played in Snedeker’s final group at the AT&T. Just being around him [Snedeker] and seeing how he conducts himself, he’s an inspiration,” said Hahn. “He's obviously one of the best, if not the best golfer right now. But how he conducts himself as a person on and off the golf course, that's also world class.” Snedeker’s amateur playing partner, Toby Wilt, observed, “He was more interested all day in my [putting] lines than in his.” Not only did Snedeker help read Wilt’s putts, he genuinely cared if his partner made it.

What a PGA rookie learned from Snedeker: Encourage others to be their best.

History books are full of charismatic leaders, but don’t neglect the lessons you can learn from achievers you meet or see every day. Those conversations on a farm, in an airline terminal, or on a golf course could yield some very important clues to help you become a better, more inspiring, leader.