What do around the house when you are alone? Vol. 2ish

this thread was fucking gold last time and i want to read some new funny ones. what do you do around your house when alone that is weird as fuck?

walk around naked
run up the stairs on all fours
run around the house and jump over shit like im doing parkour
poop in the dark
practice fake karate
have full conversations with the dog
pour water from the brita filter extremely higher than the glass
throw food up air and catch it in mouth, pause

yo man thats funny this thread was fucking gold last time and i want to read some new funny ones. what do you do around your house when alone that is weird as fuck?

walk around naked
run up the stairs on all fours
run around the house and jump over shit like im doing parkour
poop in the dark
practice fake karate
have full conversations with the dog
pour water from the brita filter extremely higher than the glass
throw food up air and catch it in mouth, pause

my nigga drew why u been so active on these off topic threads lately? but anyways, i sometimes crip walk naked while listening to some tupac. other times i just cuddle with my dog and make him watch porno with me. no biggie

-listens to explicit music
-talks to dog regardless parents are home.
-When I play skyrim, the female npcs turn me on when I raid their shit, then I fap it out, but to actual porn.
-rap in the shower usually
-keep my clothes on, cuz being naked feels uncomfortable regardless and no, I'm not obese.
-more talkative on xbox.
-sometimes has intimate conversation with the 1% of chicks on omegle.
-all I can think of is how I use to hump this Pooh Bear my parents won at a carnival while back, but yeah..

"..wearing the usual, because why would i bother wearing something else?" - bill

I go over to the stove and get a piece paper towel and light it on fire and see how long I can hold it until it's just one big ass flame. Repeat this a few times.
Go on xbox and yell everything and be loud as fuck.

Sing rap songs in falsetto.
Watch shameful, weird-ass porn you only watch now-and-then because you don't want to be the type of dude who watches it regularly.
Shit with the door open.

July 19, 2012 @ 04:00 AM

Inactive

What I like to do when I'm alone is get a package of plain M&amp;Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&amp;M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the &quot;loser,&quot; and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&amp;Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&amp;Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&amp;M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&amp;M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, &quot;Please use this M&amp;M for breeding purposes.&quot;

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&amp;Ms. I consider this &quot;grant money.&quot; I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.