EDMONTON - DOCTOR BOB THE PUNK ROCK DENTIST

Just because you're in a touring punk band doesn't necessarily mean that you want your teeth rotting out of your skull, but since that kind of shit is not covered in record contracts, that's usually what ends up happening. Enter today's nominee for sainthood. His name is Bob, he’s a sort-of old punk, and his wedding song was “Waiting Room.” When he was in dental school he had a dream that Strung Out pulled up in their tour bus and walked into his office, so then when he became a dentist he started doing work - free - on whatever punk bands rolled through Edmonton.

Vice: So this idea came to you in a dream?

Doctor Bob: Yeah, but then I forgot about it. When I remembered I emailed Fat Wreck Chords to set it in motion. Almost immediately I started getting emails from bands who wanted to hook something up when they came through.

How does it work?I shut down the office, we bring in some beer and food, and the guys who want work done get it done.

Awesome. Is there anything special you do when a band is coming through?

Bands don’t understand time very well, they work on their own schedule, which I’m totally jealous of, but it means I have to let the girls know to block the whole day off. And since we’re technically not working, we can drink some beer and relax.

Can you tell us who has the worst mouth?

No, but obviously some of the crust punks are pretty bad. On the flipside, you’ve got these bands from California that want to de-whiten their teeth.

Do you do any big, bloody operations?

We’ve had to do a couple of root canals. We try to do the most difficult thing first so they’re not singing at their gig with a frozen mouth.

I heard you put a gold tooth in Hugo from the Sainte Catherine's mouth.

Yeah, fuck that was awesome. All my staff had gone home so [bassist] Pablo filled in as my assistant. He’s there holding the suction as I’m drilling Hugo’s tooth. And he didn't just want to be able to pop the gold tooth in and out like Flavor Flav, he wanted it glued in. We had to shave his tooth down.

Do you ever have bands that try to do their own dentistry?

There's this one drummer of a famous band who seems to like to glue pieces of his teeth back together. His teeth keep chipping and he actually carries around dental adhesive to glue them back together. He showed me the little bottle of glue that he uses.

Guh...So do you play music?

Oh, I’ve been in some terrible punk bands. One was called Facehead. That was in the early ‘90s in southern Alberta. At the time there were a lot of bands that had either the word ‘face’ or ‘head’ in their name, so we thought if we combined the two we would be the most famous band ever.

Guess that didn't pan out. Where do you see this whole thing going?

It sounds corny, but at first it was just a way to thank the bands that created music that changed my life. But ideally, I’d want a network across Canada of other dentists, doctors, optometrists, etc, who would be into helping touring bands out. And maybe a mechanic. Some of the vans look pretty sketchy when they pull up.

Just a network of nice people.

Exactly. How can we get that going?

I don't know, but we should tell anyone who's interested to message you on your MyFace or whatever.

Okay, you're an English band on the road in Canada and you get everything you own stolen by crackheads - van, trailer, instruments, backline, merchandise, cash, computers, cameras, phones, clothes, passports, visas - EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO FUNCTION IS GONE, YOUR BAND IS FINISHED AND YOU ARE BROKE AND HOMELESS. You have enough cash between you to book yourself one night in a hotel where you all pace around in shocked silence, no idea where you go from here.

Then you get a phone call to the room from out of the blue. It's a guy called Punk Rock Bob the Dentist and His Punk Rock Lawyer wife. They take you all out for good conversation, food and beers, offer you a place to stay and free dental work. You politely decline the dental work since you know your third-world English chops would bankrupt their surgery. You know Dr Bob cannot solve all your problems but he can certainly make you feel a whole lot better at a very shitty time.

I have firsthand experience of Dr Bob and his lady. They are true punk rock fans, not obsessive sychophants, not wannabes, not coat-tailers, not looking to garner a portfolio of 'celebrity' clients - just very genuine, interesting and kind people who practice what they preach with regard to Social values.

And if you're ever in a major pickle in Edmonton, Alberta - or maybe you've just got teeth that look like a popcorn coated shipwreck - I'm sure they'd look out for you too.

I wish we have a sedation dentist like this dude here in Las Vegas! I don't think that he's a poser or a wannabe like everyone else is saying. I can see that Doc Bob only wants to make friends with people from the community - after all, you'd always prefer to hang around with people you can relate with.