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Public Wi-Fi 101

Class is in session, and today we’ll learn about public Wi-Fi and the people who use it.

Mornin’, class!

Professor Jack here, welcoming you back to school. Take your seats, please. Before we get started, please note the classroom rules on the board — Rule #1: Keep your internet connections to yourselves. Rule #2: If I see, hear, or smell malware on any of you, that’s a hind-leg kick straight to the principal’s office. Rule #3: I give a mean hind-leg kick. Not so much a rule, just a fun fact. Okay, now then, on to more scholarly subjects...

Let’s kick off the new year with a pop quiz! What? You aren’t prepared? Come on, you’ve had all summer to get ready for this unplanned quiz! Now get the pool water out of your ears, slather some aloe on that sunburn, and for crying out loud take the vape pen out of your mouth for two minutes, will ya? School’s in session. The information here all comes from a recent HMA! survey.

A whopping 83% of you out there already know that public Wi-Fi is ___________.

A. Dangerous

B. Risky

C. Unsafe

D. Gluten-free

2. Despite the fact that most of you know better, 29% of you still use ___________.

A. Public Wi-Fi

B. Free internet in the coffee shop

C. Complimentary web browsing in the hotel

D. Imitation maple syrup

3. Of those of you who DO use public Wi-Fi, 56% of you prefer when the Wi-Fi ___________.

A. Is free with no password

B. Does not require anything to join

C. Is unprotected (and therefore vulnerable)

D. Shows videos of dogs barking “I love you”

4. As an added precaution, 35% of you claim to avoid entering _______ when on public Wi-Fi.

A. Sensitive information

B. Login credentials

C. Credit card numbers

D. Ankle fetish websites

5. To stay safe online, 39% of you rely on your ________.

A. Antivirus software

B. Cybersecurity suite

C. Malware-blocking tech

D. Natural good looks

6. Remarkably, 10% of you expect ___________ will keep you safe online.

A. The security of your network provider

B. Your ISP

C. The powers that be

D. Voodoo involving chicken bones

7. The wisest and most intelligent 13% of you always use a _____________.

A. Proxy

B. Virtual private network

C. Secure, encrypted connection

D. Toothbrush

Please pass your papers to the front of the class. Guess what — there are no wrong answers anywhere in this quiz, so you’re being graded on your creative margin doodlings instead.

You will also be graded on how well you keep yourself protected through this next academic year. With every other headline reporting a new data breach these days, you can’t afford to hook into public Wi-Fi connections anymore without protection. We suggest the greatest VPN service on the planet for quick, easy internet freedom and steadfast security.

Hoo, I’m beat. Talk amongst yourselves for the rest of class. Oh, and if I find the clown who erased the “cl” from “classroom rules” when I wasn’t looking … good job. We award senses of humor around here.