Moshe (my housemate) told me about the website “askmoses.com” where you can ask questions of a rabbi under conditions of anonymity. So I took the opportunity to begin a conversation with a rabbi about some issues that have troubled me concerning my transgender body and communal prayer.

I used the pseudonym “Levi”. Here’s a verbatim transcript of our convesation.

Levi : I have a question about the effect of my presence on the orthodox community with which I occasionally daven. It will take some time to explain the background, before I get to the question. OK?

Rabbi Yakov L : Welcome. I’ll be with you in a moment…

Rabbi Yakov L : K

Levi : Hi Rabbi

Levi : Here’s the first part of the background

Levi : I am transgender. In my case, this means that even though I was born female, I had surgery to remove my breasts and to construct a male-appearing chest. In addition, I take male hormones.

Levi : As a result of these actions, and with the complete and entire embrace of G-d, I have a deep voice and a full beard. I joyfully live and work as a man, and no one can tell my original gender by looking at me. I am a Reform Jew, and I do not consider myself to be bound by halacha, nor do I consider my behavior to be against God’s will, or against my personal code of ethics.

Levi : While I am mostly not very observant, I daven sometimes in an Orthodox shul, on the men’s side. No one is aware of my transition, and everyone sees me as male. My question concerns the community. Does my presence spiritually change the experience for the men I daven with if they don’t know my history? In what way?

Levi : That’s the background, and the question.

Rabbi Yakov L : A fasicnating journey

Rabbi Yakov L : perhaps this is why I studied this issue out of the blue last night:)

Levi : ha ha! maybe!

Rabbi Yakov L : there would be two immediate issues that could arise..by the way it is very noble of you to inquire, notwithsatnding your personal views

Levi : the concern that arises for me becomes, after I learn of your response, given this knowledge, I will become responsible in another way

Levi : and a gift/pleasure/approach to a more observant life … will be removed from me

Rabbi Yakov L : 1. would be a secnario where you are being counted as an integral part of the minyan…as when there are exactly 10 in shul, creating a situation where they are now relying on your status as a male…which in halacha is at best subject to a dispute

Levi : i do not daven in situations where my presence is necessary to make a minyan

Rabbi Yakov L : 2, if someone were to introduce you to a women with intent of marriage…this too is potentially a halchic issue

Levi : just the introduction?

Levi : Rabbi, I am not attracted to women

Rabbi Yakov L : then the only other immediate issues in that conetxt would if u are called to the Torah etc…as halachic issue NOT as a judgement o fu as a perosn

Rabbi Yakov L : then that is a non issue

Rabbi Yakov L : if it is deemed as imappropriate in halacha that cerates a dillema of ‘stumbling block’ were somone to introduce you etc..

Levi : I would only accept an aliyah in a Reform congregation

Rabbi Yakov L : again very ethical of you

Rabbi Yakov L : 🙂

Levi : I see

Levi : I am trying to be careful about this issue

Rabbi Yakov L : so those would be the issues, miyan, aliyas etc, and introductions as above,,,

Levi : I am curious (but glad) that metaphysically, spiritually, there appears to be no issue. i am reminded of the tale of the BESHT who entered a synagogue and found all the prayers had not ascended

Rabbi Yakov L : I am familiar with the story…

Levi : if someone had the eyes to see prayer, what would this scenario “look like”?

Rabbi Yakov L : letters being acrried upwards by angels

Levi : beautiful

Levi : another related question: again, this is NOT my view, but can it be said that my physical body renders the men’s side of the synagogue tameh?

Rabbi Yakov L : no such concept….there is of course one major issue I overlooked forgive me..

Rabbi Yakov L : separate seating

Rabbi Yakov L : depending on the halachihc definiiton of your gender that can be a major issue

Rabbi Yakov L : since separte seating efefcts the status of the shul in halacha as a place for prayer

Levi : how is the definition made, halachically?

Levi : (either as “male” or “female” because I suspect I would fit more in the category of ‘androgynos’)

Rabbi Yakov L : In a recent responsum of the Tzitz Eliezer, Rabbi Waldenberg claims that one who undergoes transsexual surgery assumes the status of the sex to which he is now surgically assigned.283

Rabbi Yakov L : Some commentators have attacked this responsum, arguing that it implies that an act which is prohibited in Jewish law, and which the law considers merely to be an act of self-mutilation, terminates a marriage duly entered into without the consent, or even knowledge, of the other spouse. These authorities maintain that transsexual surgery has no effect on one’s sexual status on Jewish law.

Levi : i am familiar with that

Levi : but that is usually for a person going the other way (from male to female) — and the surgical options for people in my position are not as clearcut or successful

Rabbi Yakov L : the issues are related,,,

Rabbi Yakov L : anwyay I realy must run

Rabbi Yakov L : SHALOM

Levi : ok

Levi : thank you

Rabbi Yakov L : very welcome

_____

And here our conversation ended, because the Rabbi had to end his shift online — my roommate Moshe asked a question to the next person, a rebbitzin, and she wasn’t very helpful to him. He said I was very lucky to get the person I did.

I have only begun to ask questions. Maybe, now that I have not been judged for my identity, I might have the courage to speak with a rabbi at Pardes. VERY scary notion. But maybe a window is opening here.

Noach Dzmura is a graduate student at the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, California. He’s studying Gender, Sexuality and Rabbinics toward a doctorate in Interdisciplinary Studies. As the 2006 recipient of the Haas-Koshland Award, he’s spending this year at Pardes Institute of Jewish Studies in Jerusalem. He’s keeping a blog at http://brerrabbi.livejournal.com/ This entry, “Conversation with an Online Rabbi,” is cross-posted to the blog.

4 Responses to “Conversation with an Online Rabbi”

Speaking as a Jewish man who was raised halachically observant and who continues to be observant, I want to say first of all that this was a very brave conversation for both parties. I did want to add that there are MANY halachic opinions favourable to trans people (transgender and transsexual) that I was told during my transition would never be made available to the general public for political reasons.

The Orthodox rabbis to whom I have disclosed my transsexual history have all continued to count me in a minyan, grant me aliyot (I am a Levi), and treat me as male in every way. I do not feel that my personal medical history or genital status is the business of people with whom I am seeking spiritual community. Frankly, trans people are the only group I know who have such internalized oppression that we constantly feel unworthy or unequal to demand the same respect as others.

I went to many poskim during my transition. These people do not want their identities revealed, which is quite unfortunate. There are far more enlightened traditional halachic opinions on trans people than even that of the often-cited Tzitz Eliezer.

As one Orthodox rav with whom I recently discussed this issue said to me, “function dictates form.” In his halachic opinion, form (i.e. whether someone’s body has generically female or male or some variety of intersex genitalia) is far less halachically relevant than function (i.e. whether the person to whom those genitals belong considers himself or herself a member of the community of men or women, and whether he or she (or zie) functions in his or her respective community as a man or woman or another gender role.

This rav is a halachic authority who would not publish these decisions due to the political controversy that would arise. However, after speaking with him, I no longer have any halachic conflict about sitting in the men’s section (which I have been doing since partway into my social transition), accepting aliyot, and functioning in every way as man AND as a male (two distinct though sometimes related categories) in my spiritual life. In fact, prior to achieving the acceptance of my spiritual self as a man and as halachically male from this rav, there were barriers in my relationship to HaKadosh BaruchHu.
Thanks to the guidance of this rav, I have been able to accept myself and to restore my sense of spiritual wholeness.

Considering yourself 3/5ths of a person doesn’t facilitate kedushah (holiness) any more than it benefitted the fragile psyches of slaves prior to empancipation in the U.S. Your presence does not make any holy space tameh due to your transgender identity/experience. In fact, the beauty of your struggle to express soul and self as a trans person denotes the very essence of kedushah.

Remember that we are Klal Yisrael, a people who struggle with G-d. Trans people- both those of us who identify as transgender, like you, and those of us who simply identify as men or women without qualification, like me- epitomise that struggle. We are all Yaakov wrestling with the angel, Moshe challenging G-d to spare Jewish lives…

There is solace and support for us in Torah, in halacha, and in Hashem. The tumah of transphobia and ignorance that would claim otherwise is the real problem that endangers the validity of Jewish communal acts. Until we believe in our own right to count, in our own spiritual equality, we will never achieve the spiritual health required for true human satisfaction.

Hi i am very proud that u made the brave decison to consult with a rabbi and the response you recieved is extremly encouraging.i must say that the more i learn about this topic which is includes me a pre op transsexual ultra orthodox woman and the more i see the responses and feelings of orthodox jews on this issue
The more i realise that people are ignorant and violent when it comes to their gender they wouldnt care if somebody died because their
Transsexuality got to them and even the rabbis are afraid

Hi i must say that its so encouraging 2 hear that rabbis who know how to learn torah have not just voiced bigotry against our suffering but they even went as far as giving us chizuk i mean lets not forget that we can easily leave yidishkeit but we choose 2 remain because we know that the toirah is truth and we sacrifice our whole surroundings 2 b the women we are and we just tell the bigots 2 1st study this subject properly and c the pain involved and then talk about rabbis we have rabbis on our side b.h.

Hi its my opinion that imaturity, ignorance and certainty of ones born gender is what causes people 2 get so excited and arrogant over transsexuality i mean how could somebody contemplate a percieved notion with
regard 2 their outlook when we r dealing with people who suffer feelings of suicide prior 2 transition almost on a daily basis how could a person voice their opinion and
mock a transsexual woman in the street when that transsexual woman suffers immense pain and anxiety u have 2 be
ignorant or evil