Grow Up? Naaaah: Top 10 Unpopular New Year’s Resolutions

Every year, people reheat the same 9 NYE resolutions like leftovers to seem “progressive” while ignoring the purplish-blue elephants in their room. Everyone wants to grow but very few actually want to stop living the trife life.
Here are the ten most unpopular New Year’s Resolutions. Take a look.

Stop living outside your means -
Living like a KING (or QUEEN) on a minimum wage salary has to be stressful. Do you really NEED 7986 TV channels? DO YOU?

More respect for your fellow man (and woman) -
Paying with cash (or checks) in the express lane, swerving across lanes without turn signals and farting in crowded elevators are three things that, if stopped, would make the world a much better place.

Stop smashing everyone, and everything, Ho -
Smashing the homies, strangers from clubs and Twitter followers in the name of YOLO doesn’t make you a “free spirit,” it makes you a stone-cold slore. Slow down and respect yourself or live with ALL the STDs.

Follow through when fake outraged -
Blink and you missed the uproar over Chick-fil-a funding anti-gay groups. On Monday, everyone united, held hands and vowed to never eat there again until Sunday when it’s impossible NOT to crave Chick-fil-a. Stand strong or STFU, please.

Turn your ratchet down -
At some point between 27-30, you should evolve. And by evolve, we mean stop letting your inner-Juicy J flourish when you have to work in the morning. You can’t be ratchet forever.