After buying vintage First Edition Edna St. Vincent Millay books, earrings, and a book about how to be the perfect hostess circa 1955, while heading to the fetish sex shop a few doors down, my best friend asked, “During this uprising against Trump, have you noticed that Oprah has gone silent?”

Standing over 50 shades of my choking phobia…

I was astonished to realize that he was correct. Where the fuck was Oprah?! Our fearless beacon of activism, women’s rights, African American’s rights, equality, prison reform and so much more.

Upon returning to my hotel, I scrambled to find my iPad, sandwiched between two sizes of Maxi-pads (each month I bleed so much, I think my eggs are freaked it will be their last shedding of my uterine lining.) I searched for Oprah and the women’s march, Oprah anti-Trump, Oprah’s thoughts on Trump 2017, and finally resorted to, does Oprah fucking hate Trump as much as the rest of America does?

NOTHING

NADA

BUPKAS

REFRESH

Why is one of the most vocal, astute orators holding her tongue during a political revolution that most of us have never witnessed in our lifetime? Why isn’t she speaking at marches or rallying women to keep fighting? Why hasn’t she called him a racist, misogynist who is making America insane? Why isn’t she calling him out on his lies?

I don’t disagree with you. Hundreds of powerful people are involved in the resistance. We the people are actively engaged and doing everything in our power to resist Trump and his compulsion to upend democracy. We need more people involved. Someone like Oprah would be fantastic.

She’s always been an opportunist. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, she’s done very well for herself and others.

She just does some really kooky shit too — remember “The Secret” and all the other bizarre money-making-schemes-designed-as-self-help she’s been involved in over the years? Her cozy relationship with questionable folks like Chopra? (see e.g. “Oprah and Deepak’s 21-day Meditation Experience” on sale now!).

She’s a brand, and she has to protect that — there are a lot of Trumpers with a lot of money they could part with, after all.

Like the President* (thanks, Charlie!), Oprah is a brand. She saw how many Cletus-n’-Brandines voted for that self-confessed serial sexual predator just as well as you did, and simply declines to disrupt her cash flow. You could quite validly make the argument that the sort of activism you describe could serve to strengthen her brand, but apparently she doesn’t buy it. Not a fan, so I don’t know her audience, but I suspect she does very well.

Oprah is around. She’s in commercials for some diet scheme, she’s hogging a “tribute” to Mary Tyler Moore, she’s running her empire. Her lukewarm support for Hillary should have indicated that she wouldn’t be leading any marches. She’s Oprah.

If it makes you feel any better, Magic Johnson says he won’t stay in Trump hotels any more. So there’s that.