Susan Jane

The Extra Virgin Kitchen cookbook has taken wings under the name TASTY.NAUGHTY.HEALTHY.NICE. for my American pals this September 2017. It’s currently cheap AF on Amazon pre-order, so please consider cantering over and purchasing it for someone special who needs a badass treat to brighten their day.

I promise to bring industrial amounts of giddiness to their pots and pans.

Here’s a little taster …

Namaste!

x SJ

Taking the hell out of healthy.

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Obnoxiously priced, commercial face creams are designed to separate you from your money and your brain cells. We all know the brands I’m referring to #sexyswipe. They advertise in every glossy magazine, preying on your friends, your daughter, mother and sisters.

You want to stay young? The answer is not giving hundreds of your hard-earned dollars to some marketing head-f**ck who abuses our vulnerabilities (insert Big Brand here). Nor is it wearing lamé drainpipes and a sleeve of tattoos, like something Electric Picnic heaved up. (Although I have been very tempted). The secret to ageing gracefully my friends, is owning it. Wear those wrinkles like you made them! They are there to tell twenty-year-old twits not to mess with us. So go rock them.

I’ve taken to making my own beauty products from natural, cold-pressed oils. Yup. Green beauty is trending, not because it’s non-toxic and kinder to the environment. Green beauty is trending because it works.

Check out this deep, penetrating night serum. My skin drinks it up with gratitude. No amount of crème de la whatsies can achieve the same glow I get from one week on argan oil. Yes, argan can sometimes smell like a wet barnyard animal. But you will expertly highjump this nasal challenge by adding grapefruit essential oil and the spectacularly-perfumed tamanu oil.

Grapefruit essential oil is a brilliant astringent to help seduce large pores and zits. Tamanu delivers a consignment of protective antioxidants, and is traditionally associated with improving scar tissue. We like the sound of that.

Both tamanu and argan have vertiginous amounts of vitamin E, and 0% synthetic gunk. Vitamin E is important to our ageing skin because it helps protect against the chaos that free radicals unleash. We can’t stop ageing, but we can slow it down.

And if it all sounds like too much trouble, feast yourself on any of these face oils made by hand using a more subdued form of argan oil with less barnyard vibes, and more grassy sun-kissed hills. I have an obsession with Beauty Heroes. Theirs is an exceptional service, only supporting small artisans using the best quality ingredients with absolutely no added chemicals. It feels really empowering to vote with my wallet. Closer to home, Barechic Skincare is made locally and will have your cheeks doing somersaults.

Midnight Face Serum6 months supply

I share the task of DIY cosmetics with friends to reduce the cost. It makes sense to do a large batch of face serum, and dole them out to a group of friends. Right? Maybe your pals will do the cacao body butter (last month’s S’Indo column), or other similar treat in return? Score! Another tip is to store the oils in the freezer when they are not in use, which will substantially extend their shelf life.

This midnight oil is non-comedogenic meaning it won’t clog your pores or cause spots even if you suffer from oily skin. Argan rates as ‘0’ on the comedogenic scale. Total lovebomb.

Make it immediately. Today. Now. For wellness junkies, you can offset the caffeine indulgence with a field of kale later. Or try this cold brew cacao instead.

Cold brew is simply an easy way of making coffee concentrate. Instead of relying on heat to extract the flavour from the coffee beans, you’ll be relying on a full moon and pheromones. I leave mine overnight in the fridge, after an interactive chorus of AC/DC’s Thunderstruck. In the morning, all that’s left to do is strain and serve over ice. It’s enough to incite poetry in a three-toed onglet.

Because the coffee beans do not socialise with intense heat, the result is a smoother, lighter, sweeter kava with an unexpected smack of hard rock.

One final FYI; cold brew coffee is bodaciously good with macadamia nutmilk. Just soak 100g of maca nuts in water for two hours. Ditch the soak water, and spin in a blender with 250ml of fresh water or cold brew coffee. Strain through your cheesecloth, chill in the fridge, and summon when required.

Cold Brew Coffee

4-8 servings

1 litre cold filtered water

220g coffee beans

1 nutmilk bag or cheesecloth

1 Roughly grind your coffee beans to a super-coarse crumb.

2 In a tall Kilner jar, or French Press, add the filtered water to your coarse coffee beans. I like to make a ceremony out of it. The soundtrack to Star Wars is not inappropriate.

3 Seal with a lid. If using a French Press, don’t push down – just ensure no oxygen sneaks in through the spout. Leave the beans to fraternise with the filtered water in the fridge overnight, or for up to 24 hours (the sweet spot).

4 When the brew is ready, strain twice through a nut milk bag or cheesecloth (or plunge the French Press). The double filtration ensures every last scrap of silt disappears. Compost the coffee beans, or use them in the shower as a bodyscrub mixed up with olive oil.

5 Refrigerate your cold brew coffee for up to 6 days. Serve with an audience, over ice. Or use this recipe for hazelnut milk, using 2 cups of water in place of 3 cups of water.