Warning: This is a blog that lacks intellectuality. My levels of IQ stand as lofty as that of Paris Hilton's pet pomeranian and my knowledge of current affairs is as deep as Mandira Bedi's of cricket. I mostly ramble about the trivialities of my everyday life, F.R.I.E.N.D.S, friends n family, movies, cricket; basically thoughts that would enter the mind of any Sita, Gita or Rita.

Note: I was busy drooling over the pages of Playboy during my English classes in school. So please bare with any grammatical blunders or the obvious lack of classic literary writing. (I was a little confused between the selection of 'bear' and 'bare' in the sentence above so I resorted to my favorite inky-pinky-ponky routine)

If you happen to pass by, feel free to register your presence. coz yeh duniya bahot chhoti hai aur yeh zindagi bahot lambi. Kya pata, someday somewhere, you and I might end up discussing about it over a cup of garam garam masala tea.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

When I woke up this morning with you besides me, I felt nothing. I felt no sense of attachment towards you. I did not even feel like looking at you. I guess time takes its toll.

We have been together for the past 4 years. You have always been there with me. In good times, as well as the forgettable ones. At times, I have been harsh with you; vented my frustration on you. But you never said a word. You bore silently. There was a time when I was very attached to you. But recently, and I hate to say this, I have been feeling empty towards you. I have even started considering leaving you. And I hate myself for thinking like this. After all that you have done for me. But what do I do. After all, I am just a normal 22 year old guy who gets attracted to prettier, fancier models. So before things go totally out of hand, I thought to dedicate a first and last post to you, my Nokia 6600.

I got this black beauty when I was in my 2nd year of college. It was quite a hot selling piece, just like the DPS mms, when daddy brought it home.

Now if you come from some other galaxy, and have never had your hands on this meteor of a phone, let me tell you about the most distinguishing features of this phone.

It is the best self defense weapon ever created. Musibat mein hamesha kaam aayega. If you ever happen to be cornered by some anti social creatures, never panic as long as you have the 6600. Just pick it up and throw it at your enemy. If it happens to catch any part of his body on the way, the goon will not be getting up for a long time. As I mentioned before, it is one meteor of a phone. Huge, heavy, bulky.. A solid piece of mass. Maybe in the years to come, the technologically advanced Japan might plan to load their missiles with 6600s.

It also comes inbuilt with a sensory-loss mechanism. Let me explain. Many a times it happens that phones happen to fall/slip out of your pocket and one does not realize till its too late. Well, with the 6600, be rest assured that it wont let you down. The moment it abandons you, you will sense it. coz as Sunny bhai would put it, "jab yeh dhai kilo ka phone kisi ke jeb se alag hota hai, to aadmi uthta nahi, uth jaata hai". (chee.. that was a bad one..) You would experience weightlessness and literally start floating in the air after having bore the weighty burden for so many years. And effectively, you would never be able to loose the phone. Dekhi nokia waalo ki advanced thinking. Am proud of those guys.

It is also the most handy paperweight that can be found in a proximity of a few cms.

Inspite of these wonderful add-ons, I have had thoughts of moving on from my 6600. There have been certain reasons for this. Sabse pehle to I have not been able to take instant pics; in the world of digicams, ab vga camera se kya tamboora pics lega. And videos ki to baat hi kahan karu. Some time back, I took a video of the Symonds-Sreesanth on-filed antiques. Such was the clarity of the video that it looked more like a scene from the Planet of the Apes; please note, no racism intended.

To add to the list, mere phone ki joystick ne barso pehle hi The Legend of Bhagat Singh dekh li thi aur bagawaat kar di thi. It has not been functioning properly since a long time. I have found life difficult due to it but somehow I managed through. But ab paani sar ke upar chad gaya hai. Joystick ke south mein situated keypad par located key 2 bhi ruth gayi hai mujhse. Recently when Kareena gave her number(9322x22x22) to me, I could not call her coz of my non-working key 2. Thats why you see her nowadays with Saif.

The other keys of the keypad have also become very hard. As hard as.. umm.. idly-vadas made by a Gurgaon ki kudi, the type of kudi who is under the impression that Chennai and Madras are two different states. (please excuse the pause in between. I wanted to compare the hardness to other things but then under 18s are not supposed to read such stuff)

The phone's surface is as smooth as the sultry and sexy coming-out-of-the-sea topless body of Navjot Singh Siddhu.

So due to all the above mentioned reasons, I am planning to get a new model. When I do get a new phone and call up Kareena, I wonder what Saif will do with the tattoo he has got.. Aah, maybe he will edit it to Karan. Future ka soch ke rakha hai bachhe ne. Smart boy.

Sorry to all the Kareena fans. I cannot reveal her entire number. For all those who were born with an Abacus in their hands and 'Permutation' was the first word they uttered, 9322x22x22 shouldn't be much of a problem.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Like Bangalored, like Benched.. I have come up with my top 7 office games.

Slot machine - Enter the same search query again and again in the Google search bar. If you get the same response time, you win. Yipee. Your prize - you can now enter a new query. You cannot enter a new query unless you win.

What's in a name - Well generally, we don't even know the names of the people sitting nearby. So come early to the office and greet everyone as they come and ask their names. When the same people leave office, greet them again by addressing them by their names. If you get all right, you win. Yipee. You no longer have to come early to office. You don't win unless you get all the names right. (No cheating. You cannot show off your brains and write down the names. Preserve your brains for those times when you are assigned work)

Popularity game - Open Wikimapia or download Google Earth. Start memorizing the names of all places around your city. Also as an add-on, try remembering the places-to-visit in the corresponding city. Next time when you meet anyone, ask them their native. If it happens to be one that you have already memorized, jackpot. Start parroting whatever you know. You will immediately become a favorite of the person. coz not only did you not give the person now-where-on-earth-is-that-place look but to top that, you just told the person more than he knew about his never-before-heard city.

Scary game - This one's my personal favorite. Scan and select a base location where people don't know you. Take a pen and notepad with you. Stand at a little distance and pretend as if you are observing the people around. After a few minutes of observation, act as if making notes in your pad. Do this everyday at random hours of the day. All the ho-halla about lay-offs and pink slips will scare the hell out of them. This is a win-win for everyone. You can hone your acting skills, the employees will start working harder, and the employer's productivity will only end up getting a boost.

Table tennis - Most companies will have a ping-pong table. If you are a novice, be dedicated and become a pro. If you are already a pro, you can only get better.

Blog.

If you happened to realize that there is one less bullet or if you had already started counting the bullets before reading, your condition is pretty much similar to mine. And you just won game no. 7. Your prize:

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Monica: Chandler, In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky.. As to fall in love with my best, my best.. (starts crying..) There's a reason why girls don't do this!

Chandler: Okay! (he too gets down on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (he too starts crying) Wait a minute, I-I can do this.. I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you'll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way.. (takes out the ring) Monica, will you marry me?

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Shame shame.. Twice in 2 matches.. Consecutive matches.. Twice in a span of 3 days.. and the knockout punch..

Oh, of course I am talking about the streaker running on to the ground in both the finals.. ;) *winking so hard that its hurting the eye*

In our office, everyone who loved cricket, or played, or knew what it meant had come together in the cafeteria to see the match.. It was truly a sight to watch.. there was hardly any space to stand.. and people forgetting all the sophistication and climbing on tables and chairs and whistling and clapping and cheering.. watching together in unison as India made history..

Last time when India toured Australia, they did well in the Test series but then faltered in the ODIs.. they had been burned out due to the very long series.. they peaked their performance well before the summit and then went down the valley.. but not this time.. they peaked at the right time.. n they rose to the top.. And as so often, India rose again with Tendulkar..

Whenever he walked out on a cricket pitch and took guard, bowlers all round the world trembled and shivered in their run ups.. coz no matter how hard you tried, invariably the ball would race to the boundary at the speed of lightning.. before you could realize, the ball was gone.. gone with the wind..

For almost a decade, he has been an entertainer.. and probably the best at the job.. It did not matter whether he was opening the batting in ODIs or coming in at no. 7 in Tests, Adam Gilchrist knew only one thing.. to Hit the ball.. and he did it with class.. with a deadly combination of power and timing.. he has played many a memorable innings.. and they were all the same.. scintillating, with a stamp of authority.. the ball flying to all parts of the ground..

As a cricket lover, it is sad that he got out cheaply in what could be his last ODI.. but then, Don Bradman got out for a duck in his last international innings.. I know the comparisons may not seem appropriate.. but then the Don remains the most respected of cricketers.. the legend of Gilly calls for similar respect.. the man who walked in a World cup semi-final.. the most respected Australian cricketer.. or rather the only respected Aussie cricketer.. today, his walk back to the pavilion was not a typical Gilly walk back - brisk after a dominating innings.. it was slow.. it seemed heavy.. you wanted him to raise the bat but he could not.. the innings did not call for it.. but maybe the career did.. a supreme career.. by one of the greats of the game.. one who could walk in to any hall of fame.. today, I have goosebumps watching him leave the field..

Hold on, my vision's getting all blurry.. I feel my eyes getting a wee bit moist.. maybe its due to the wind.. and it will go away with the wind..

Goodbye Gilly.. Thanks a ton for all the entertainment.. will miss ya mate..

Monday, March 3, 2008

Oh! What a sight. Waking up on a Sunday morning, getting out of your room, switching on Star sports, and watching the biggest bullies in world cricket(read Matthew Hayden) ducking down to an Indian fast bowler(read Ishant Sharma). Since childhood, I have heard people talk in awe about India's famous spin quartet, and I have grown up watching the likes of Kumble make batsmen jump up and down on Indian square turners. It simply feels wonderful to have an Indian pacer charging in and touching 150 ks. And this seems to be just the beginning. Raising the bar

Just when I thought it could not get worse than OSO, Saif and Shahrukh just raised the bar; setting new heights of cheapness and insensibility. Oh my god! I can't digest the fact that they were supposedly presenting the Indian film industry's most prestigious awards. Someone ought to restore some class and credibility to it.

Maybe their Na-real award for Bravery should have been bagged by the duo themselves, coz it takes great courage to portray such crassy crap.

Cometh the hour, cometh the man

Well, there is nothing new about the saying. But then there is nothing new as well about the genius of the man. When asked, "So, will we see you at the Adelaide Oval in the third final?", with his trademark grin, Tendulkar replied, "Oh! We might finish off the series in the first two matches itself." And he made sure that he started things in the perfect manner. And in the process, getting India closer to the top, down under.

Come on Sachin, give us an encore of Sharjah. Yes, it was not that kind of a blazing, swashbuckling innings.. but then, there are various shades of greatness..