Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Custody

My son’s 22nd birthday is just around the corner. This year he came to me with what he felt was a minor request. He asked for a digital camera and an iPad. I literally laughed in his face. I told him I can get the camera but I’m not buying him an iPad. He said that I could call my ex-husband and we could go half and get it for him. I love how my children find new and improved ways to spend my money. No thank you.

I’m sure he’ll put it in a request to my ex-husband. Which is fine. Lately, it seems every time he sees the children he feels compelled to throw money at them. Just because. I remember when I was growing up and I would spend summers with my father, he would do the same thing. Always going shopping. It was like he was trying to make up for the fact that he wasn’t there. See, that’s one of the many joys of being the custodial parent. I never feel compelled to throw money at my kids ‘just because’. I provide the roof and meet their everyday needs so I feel no guilt whatsoever for laughing in my son’s face when he asked for an iPad. Boy please!

All this got me to thinking about how incredibly blessed I have been for the past 22 years. I have had the pleasure of living with these two people every single day. I haven’t missed a thing. I know them and they know me. It has been the hardest, most challenging thing, I have ever had to do but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’ve had to make sacrifices but they never seemed like sacrifices. You know what I mean? I’ve never done anything begrudgingly. I have never felt like I missed out because I didn’t. I have them. And now that we are coming to the point where I won’t have them every day, it just makes me so grateful for the time that I have had.

2 comments:

Amen to that Chele. I was always the non-material parent. While material things are nice, they're often soon forgotten or just serve as the foundation for the next bigger thing. I, like you, erred of the side of substance; things that were lasting like good memories from vacations taken etc. My childhood was the complete opposite of Lil Lady's where I got want I wanted, but never what I needed, which sucked as it manifested its ugly reality later in life.

Lil Lady's life ended up balanced as I did what I did because her daddy didn't and vice versa, but I always strived to instill values in her and let her know material things come and go, but good memories last a lifetime.