Sunday, May 14, 2006

Duh!

In my case, in addition to the cruel kids, I also had a couple of gym teachers who bullied me, too (and a softball coach who deserves his own special level in Hell.) I try - often unsuccessfully - to imagine what kind of sad home life they must have had to have brought out such evil. But, usually, it doesn't work because I think they didn't really have sad home situations that caused them to treat the fat kids poorly. Frankly, I think a lot of people are just jerks and weasels when it comes to mocking and torturing other humans. Hey, after all, it doesn't have any lasting effect on the abusers to make other people feel like crapito, and they get a good laugh out of it.

To bullies, I say this: remember, while Hilter may be getting a pineapple shoved up his ass at noon each day in Hell (by Satan himself), Hitler's probably assigned to do the same to you, but with a durian fruit.

"Ask A Fat Kid" sounds like a fake column on The Onion, doesn't it? Oh lordy, there are so many of us who could have written that one, for real...

Spencer - I remember having to go through the humiliating ritual of trying to climb the rope for the Presidential Fitness thingie, in front of my entire class. Kids loved seeing the smart kid fail, big time...

Oh, and Dariush - that durian - not only is it big and spiky, but the durian "meat" within? It smells like vomit. Literally. Some places in Asia, you will see "NO DURIAN" signs in nice hotels. I have a photo of myself with one of those signs in Thailand. Love it! (They make durian flavored chewing gum. Talk about "shudder"!!!)

These kinds of stories make me angry. My sister has struggled with her weight all of her teenage and adult life. Nothing pisses me off more than people who dismiss her because of her weight. People who bully, in general, should be shot. And for people who bully those who are overweight, in particular, there's a special place in Hell reserved for them.

Seriously. Studies of the extremely painfully obvious. Not only obvious currently, but in this fat kid's opinion, it's been just as obvious at least as far back as the late 60's, so they really could have figured it out by now.

Of my oh-so-many anxieties as I attempt to be a good parent, #1 is probably still my concern to somehow help my girls deal with any bullying far better than I did.

And yeah, I swear that that whole rope deal was specifically engineered by the Phys Ed Nazis to be a spectacle of ridicule.