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That's how a reporter in the New York Times described July 4, 1861, the first Independence Day of the Civil War. And much like a failed marriage, it was unclear which side would retain what was once shared. Should the Confederacy have their own July Fourth as well? After all, without the initial breakaway from Britian, their revolution wouldn't be possible.

The writer—an ur-David Brooks of sorts—continued in a thought experiment: What might a Confederate Fourth of July celebration look like?

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