Saturday, June 22, 2013

I learned the secret to getting a WAIST! Its not sit-ups!!

I have been a person who always had abs without trying. It is the ONE thing I just happen to have. I inherited them from my mom,(Here is a pic of my moms waist in the 60s when people didn't have abs. I don't show her face because Im not going to show my moms face on a blog next to some arabs hairy asshole getting sucked on!) BUT this doesn't mean I have a TAPERED WAIST. In fact if you look at me my waist goes straight up and down, it doesn't become concave like I wish it would, from the SIDE VIEW it does but not the front view. This always vexed me. Now that Ive started taking personal boxing lessons Ive had to work on my "core"- EYEROLL I KNOW - but if you're getting punched in the stomach you need to be HARD ALL THE WAY AROUND and a strong core really makes the punches much stronger, BUT there is this ONE exercise which I NEVER DID because I always just thought "WHATS THE POINT OF THAT STUPID MACHINE?" Well the point is to strengthen and tighten the muscles running along the SIDES of your waist, not the FRONT. I stupidly assumed building these would make my waist more BROAD and THIS BROAD does not need to BROADEN HER WIAST so I never did it, but actually the result is JUST THE OPPOSITE. The motion is similar to wringing out a towel except the towel is your body. You can do it without a machine many way but I honestly prefer the machine. Its called the TORSO ROTATION MACHINE at my gym. The muscles that it focuses on run along the sides of the waists from front to back and by strengthening them it works as an INVISIBLE CORSET?! I LOVE IT. Yes, its a time consuming exercise because you have to do one side, then the other, and repeat three or four times but I promise its worth the pay off. Its the one exercise I have found that ACTUALLY SLIMS THE WAIST.
So get into it! Ive WAISTED;) to much time in my life not knowing this information so GO WITH IT. Sit ups are important but I NEVER hear anyone mention the torso rotation but if you do it you will feel the muscles tightening around your waist inward like a python is making lunch out of you. Try it a few times and see for yourself! and DO NOT THINK if you do this ONCE you're going to look like a Mugler Corset model, it will take a few weeks but the results are worth it! ... or just go buy a corset because they're fierce too.
Who did the music for Thierry Muglers runways shows???!! Its EXACTLY what I want ambiently playing between my ears all day. I mean IT ALREADY IS PLAYING IN MY HEAD, but Id like to not have to spend the psychic energy to imagine it and just have it readily available at the touch of a non existent touch screen button.