Saturday, November 24, 2007

Adult film star Ron Jeremy, inspired by Christopher Walken's chicken video recipe, decided he would film his "famous" vegetable omelet. What follows is ten minutes of horrific cooking technique, lame jokes, and Ron's mullet in all it's dyed glory. The reason I called today's post the "Ron Jeremy's Omelet Diet" is for the simple fact that this video recipe is guaranteed to make you lose your appetite for several days after each viewing. With all the food you ate over the Thanksgiving holiday, this is the perfect way to trim off a few pounds before the Christmas feasts. Every time you feel like eating something you shouldn't, simply watch this clip and your hunger will quickly dissipate.

By the way, you can now finally admit you've watched a Ron Jeremy video! I was going to warn everyone to not let the kids watch this clip, but he butchers the attempts at dirty jokes so badly they are indecipherable. I'll apologize in advance for the nightmares this video will cause to viewers of all ages. Someone will have to explain to me how this man became the most popular adult film star in the world. Actually, I changed my mind; please don't explain this to me. Lastly, I should warn all of you right now, any comments regarding Ron's resemblance to me, only with longer hair, will be deleted immediately!

Due to a bug with the Safari browser on the Macs I had to remove this embeded video clip. It was playing automatically without the play button being pressed which rendered my warning useless. If you want to see the clip you can click here. Sorry, Ron.

17 comments:

Gee Chef, umm..'Thanks'..for the video..? :) After seeing that I think I would rather eat a fresh hairball from a cat.

At least I could look at the video and see that from the way he wrongly holds his knife (the wrong knife for the job too) he is a "pointer". LOL... He really needs to watch your video on how to make the perfect eggs. Since I may as well ask a culinary question to try and salvage my post--which is better--wood or plastic for cutting boards? I hear plastic is better than wood for cleanliness and no bacteria, but lousey for "chips" that may flake off...while wood is bad for holding small bits of food that embed and won't easily wash out. I see Ron uses wood which is no big surprise. So--any pro tip on either to use? I use paper plates for my cutting cause I have heard no definite answer on which is better or cleaner. :)

So far, no names on the comments seem to indicate no one wants to admit having watched it. I think you'd be wise to remove this video and drop it in the garbage with those eggshells. There's no humor hidden in its grossness and it adds nothing positive to your site.

Hey, I warned everyone in the title and post. So I'll let the viewers decide for themselves... if they don't find it watchable, they can simply hit the stop button and watch something else.

If, like me, they find the "hedgehog's" cooking so horrifically bad it becomes culinary camp then that's OK too.

As far as adding something positive to the site, it's added several new links and a multitude of new viewers who, according to their page view stats, stayed and watched other clips also. So that benefits the site in the longterm.

Besides, If I took down the clip now, Larry Flint would never visit the site again!

What the heck was he doing? You don't smash an omelet. You don't flip an omelet. You don't overcook an omelet. You don't stuff it so full of crap that you can't fold the darn thing. Most of all, you don't wipe snot all over your hands when cooking.

ok im not anonymous. well i didnt lose my appetite (dont think i'll ever, sigh, i was hoping this vid could help me lose some weight), but um, my left brow was half raised and locked in a frown with my right brow throughout the clip. please, chef john, could u send the poor guy a bigger knife, bigger chopping board (say, the 4inch one u recommended for x'mas), and of cos bigger brains. if u are santa, u can prob shrink some parts of him (yes SOME PARTS). thank you.

i cant imagine that was done as a "serious" cooking video. so, i cant take comments about technique and untensils seriously. However, from a comedy aspect i thought it was funny. Come on.. the joke about how he leaned his repetitive technique for beating eggs. Yes, from a culinary aspect it didnt look as appealing as chef johns dishes... but lets see how chef john holds up doing rons job :)God gave us all different gifts lol

Chef John's "one handed egg crack"!!! (research the video in "Chef Secrets" on this site if you haven't seen it) Great to see it in use! You should be proud. That's a nice payback for all of the things you've probably learned from Ron's videos over the years.

Incidentally, I might be one of the few that didn't lose his appetite when watching this video. Nope, not at all. In fact, 30 seconds into it I had a huge appetite for the rat poison I keep in my back hall.

Just a note to say thank you to everyone. I read Chef's warning and all of your comments and DIDN'T watch the video. :)

Somehow I get the idea that this, like everything else Ron Jeremy does, should be done only in the privacy of his own home, behind locked doors, without windows, in a sound-proofed room, and never, ever spoken about.