DJ Selfborn's Insider's Guide to Pissing Off the DJ

Yes, DJ Selfborn is the proud new franchisee of Love Hate Lounge on South Beach. But he's been in the game for decades, doin' work in his native Chicago and touring with Wu-Tang before restarting from scratch on SoBe about eight years ago.

Selfborn says, "I come from a place where your skills come from playing two records on turntables and a mixer, and producing a quality vibe. It's not just playing songs and smoking a cigarette; it's interacting." So from a jock who knows the biz, here's a four-step guide to pissing off the DJ.

Step 1: Delay Payment. "Just say the words: 'Come get your check. I'll have it for you Monday.' That's, like, the worst. It's bullshit. It may not be bullshit pay, but chasing down checks... It's one of the things you have to learn and go through, just being able to get your dough."

Step 2: Micromanage. "Being told what to play by people who don't know what they're talking about is frustrating. When they tell you how to DJ, it's aggravating. It's always the people who don't do what you know how to do that are telling you what to do. When you are a DJ who's not well known, you are treated like an employee. You are being hired to do something, and someone is going to try to tell you how to do it."

Step 3: Promote Poorly. "When you get hired, you are at the mercy of how well the promoter does. You could create a good relationship with a club, but because of the promoter, you have to stop spinning at someplace you call home."

Step 4: Make Bad Song Requests. "It is a frustration. And I always say to anybody: 'If you don't know the DJ, let him do his thing.' It's usually fucked-up girls who want you to play the worst music, like some Czech house. Or she might say, like, 'Can you play something to make me dance?' when everyone else in the club is already dancing, just so she and her two girls can go, 'Woooo! He played my song!' "