"Great teller and spokesperson of the Explodian people, Kjell, we are pleased to announce that the sample you brought us during last tuesdays bowling round has shown to belong to yet another true member of our people. We can with 96,3% security establish a link between the DNA on the hair sample and our very own special DNA. Kindly reveal the identity of the host of the hair, so that we can further our research. /Timothy Blake"