Thursday, June 22, 2006

Empty

I broke a strap on my new pijamas. I packed a box of files. I wrote one page of notes. I read 5 chapters of a book. I showered. I had lunch with my Gran. All normal nice and everyday things.

I feel empty though. Like someone's stolen my insides. I can't focus on what I want to do. Nothing is quite what I thought it would be. I don't want to be on my own.

Lunch with my Gran was enjoyable and painful all at once. I had butterfly prawns and a chocolate fudge brownie sunday. She wanted to talk about events. I couldn't.

What a difference a few hours can make. The above is what I wrote before Chris and I went for a walk on the common. The sun was out and all cliches were applicable. But being outside and feeling the wind and the sun and listening to people being all around me, being what they were and doing wholesome outsoorsy things made me smile.