Are you a Mermaid or a Whale?

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness. They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia. They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on CDs. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish? They would have no sex life and could not bear children. Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad. And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.

We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.

Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?! ”

Now, tell yourself today, you are amazing, just the way you are.

Are you a Mermaid or a Whale? was last modified: October 5th, 2011 by Katja Presnal

Katja Presnal is an international lifestyle expert, originally from Finland. Katja shows how to live globally inspired life to the fullest. She has been featured in NY Times, Glamour, Redbook, Fodor's, Forbes and Woman's Day magazines among many other national and international publications and written for MTV3 and Lifetime TV networks. She is an award-winning social media strategist, and a well-known speaker in the social media conferences. Katja has lived in five different countries, and seven states in the USA, and married to a helicopter pilot. Their three children were all born in different countries within three years. When not working or jet-setting the world, Katja is at home cooking big family dinners.Follow Katja as @skimbaco on Instagram.

I loved the message behind this. I’m just sorry it got slightly diluted by someone who missed the point entirely. And as a woman and former biologist, I’d be happy to talk to “Michael” some time about genetic differences between males and females and why women do accumulate fat. I’d also like to tell him that, genetics aside, he clearly takes the internet way too seriously.

First of all I am encouraged that the poster knows that “meremaids” do not exist. I am always pleased when people start to understand the world is materialistic in nature and not filled with magical fairies, or meremaids, magical or otherwise. However I am discouraged by the grave misunderstanding of basic phylogeny.

Whoo-boy, let me start.

Whales are part of the Cete clad, ancestors of a land mammal which began it’s journey back into the ocean about 50 million years ago. Humans are primates, specifically a form of primate that lived in Africa, somewhat closely related to Chimpanzees. Of course I hardly have to explain this to Delphine Fieberg who is so smart her brain’s neurons were no longer able to store her “knowledge and wisdom” and somehow her genetics found a way to create a new storage system by converting this accumulated K and W into fat cells, probably storing some as plaque in the arteries.

Why all this talk of genetics, evolution and biology you ask? Well, it’s because it’s very important. See unlike whales, who live in a much different environment, bipedal humans simply do no have much use for large amounts of fat. Lean tissue (and exercise) is useful, especially for maintaining healthy bodily functions, prolonging joints and organs, or even *gasp* improving brain functions.

Which makes me question the “knowledge and wisdom” of this supposedly curvacious poster. Was this overflowing, fat inducing wisdom the same wisdom that gave her the grand idea to feed her kids sugary ice-cream? Now I understand she probably doesn’t have time for the gym (although she was in one apparently), but surely such a “smart” individual could think of a more kid friendly ACTIVITY than shovelling ice-cream down their throats.

Of course parenting is hard, especially hard when your brain has decided to evacuate all your knowledge and wisdom into your fat stores.

As for meremaid therapists, which sounds like a great idea for Finding Nemo 2, I’m sure they would have double duty. Sure they would treat the skinny meremaids with no human vaginas, but they’d probably also treat the children of fat parents who have no idea why they feel the complusive urge to eat even when they are not truly hungry.

What kills me about people who are proud of their “curves” (curves being much different than being outright fat) is that it’s not about exercise, or even slavishly eating cardboard all the time, it’s about NOT EATING SO MUCH, period. Portion control.

Yes, supermodels won the genetic lottery and have very special bone structures and metabolisms, but they also have self-control, many have children and most make next to nothing. So while you shouldn’t compare yourself to them on a professional level, you ought to desire to be skinnier, eat healthier and moreover respect what you have.

Gluttony is a deadly sin, and I want to explain why. Just because you can eat on command doesn’t mean you should. You shouldn’t give up the things you like, but is it necessary to do them every day? There are not any fat people who got fat by not eating too much, and there is a difference between starving yourself and simply eating as necessary. You are not a whale, you are a primate, whose body does not function well when it’s forced to carry tons of excess weight. It seems in your infinite knowledge and wisdom you forgot that.

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Hello there! I'm Katja Presnal. Skimbaco Lifestyle is for people who live life to the fullest. Our family has been traveling for 17 years, and we have lived around the world. We have three kids, and even they were all born in different countries! We currently live in Nova Scotia, Canada.