Review: Central Intelligence

So here’s the thing, Central Intelligence is really good. Surprised? I know I was.

Bob Stone (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) is a CIA agent who ends up on a spy mission with his old high school buddy,boring accountant Calvin Joyner ( Kevin Hart).

This sounds like another run of the mill Kevin Hart buddy cop movie. You expect Johnson to be the tough, no nonsense, soldier type and Kevin Hart to be his usual high voiced bumbling character.

I was expecting Ride Along 3 but with The Rock instead of Ice Cube. What I got instead was a hilarious film about friendship and body shaming, wrapped around a fun albeit clichéd and predictable story.

Unicorns are cool!

The real star and heart of this film is, of course, Dwayne Johnson. He taps into a unique character of a lonely man who struggles hard to escape his past even though it defines him in so many ways. He’s a great character who’s still the overweight, goofy teenager inside, but now he’s a badass spy with muscles on the outside.

Central Intelligence starts with a fat naked Robbie Weirdicht (or Weird Dick as everyone in high school calls him) dancing in the showers. It’s Johnson in some strange hybrid of a fat suit with CGI face replacement that creates a curly headed, overweight teenager that looks like a young Dwayne Johnson. Contrastingly we’re introduced to Calvin Joyner, the most popular kid in school having been voted “Most Likely To Succeed”. He back flips, showing off in front of the whole school and tells his beautiful girlfriend he loves her. Suddenly Weirdicht is thrown naked into the hall by some other boys. Ashamed, he finds sympathy from Calvin who covers him up with his jacket. 20 years later we’re introduced to a balder, older Calvin working in a stale job as an accountant with his former assistant being promoted above him. In the wake of his 20 year school reunion he receives a Facebook request from Bob Stone, formerly Weirdicht. They meet and very quickly Calvin is reluctantly dragged into the world of spies and the CIA by Bob.

That’s one Fat Johnson

The main story is all about Bob needing Calvin’s help to trace bank numbers related to satellite codes. It’s nothing special or original and the film seems to not understand the difference between a computer hacker and an accountant. The plot is stupid and predictable but you just let it happen because the rest of the film is so entertaining.

Bob Stone is just the best. He’s goofy and obsessed with Calvin in a very stalker-creepy way. He loves unicorns because they’re just so magical and he is full of love and hope. He just wants a friend and he wants it to be Calvin. Maybe that’s where this film won me over. I know and love so many silly people who try so hard and don’t give a flying f***k what the world thinks of them and they are the best. Bob is really geeky but he’s relatable and funny. He’s also a completely unstoppable badass.

There are some great moments in Central Intelligence that will win you over. Any scene without Johnson is just so bare as he leaves a huge void in his wake. The film is also full of cameos with Jason Bateman and Aaron Paul. There is even a character who’s only referenced until the end, from the get go I was so sure she would be played by Melissa McCarthy, and that’s exactly who played her.

Overall the film is fine. The music is lacking, with a very typical lazy RnB intro beat that keeps coming back to fill voids in dialogue or transition. The cinematography is nothing more than standard but it’s far from bad. There are some great action sequences and a few jokes that are set up really well by playing with clichéd expectations. The Rock rules, and proves he really is a great actor with a huge range, while Kevin Hart plays that guy he always plays – and yes he’s married to a beautiful woman. Hart and Johnson work well together, they have great chemistry and clearly improvised lines.

Trust Me Bro This Movie is Funny

I was expecting something akin to the Ride Along films orSpy (2015) and was pleasantly surprised.

I can’t believe I’m giving a Kevin Hart film such a high score, but that’s because it’s a Dwayne Johnson film!

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About The Author

Video Producer, Writer.
I Shoot videos for the YouTube Channel and occasionally write reviews and articles. You'll usually find me running around cons with a camera chasing after Graham. You can also hear the sweet silk of my voice on our Podcast Speakin' Geek. I love Comics, SciFi and Charlie Chaplin.