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Thursday, April 19, 2012

"This is just a phase"

There is no doubt that some people close to you will talk about your recent departure from Facebook. Family members may think that your exodus from the big daddy of (a)social networking is "just a phase". They may think that you will be back. Will you? That is the question that only you can decide.

Oftentimes the moves we make in life are looked on with close scrutiny by family and friends. The closer you are to someone the closer the scrutiny. When you hit that deactivate button and see that list of people who will "miss you", you may realize that they are not just "missing you", but that they are breathing down your neck saying "you need to come back to Facebook."

Is there something wrong with them?

Sometimes people think that when someone else does something that they deeply down inside know that they should do, they often get defensive. A lot of times when I am eating healthy and go back to visit family, they take offense to me not sinking my teeth into that chocolate pie that they are all sharing. Sometimes making a choice like this can be seen as threatening. People might say "it's just a phase" so that they can put that threat aside in their mind -- at least for a little while.

However, you need to show them that you made a real choice. Not just a short term departure. You have left Facebook for good. You have realized that (a)social media has no place whatsoever in your life. You have seen the real results in your life and you are happier now than you ever have been with Facebook. You have let go, and it was tough. No doubt you craved seeing what Uncle Tom was doing with that brand new Cocker Spaniel. Wasn't Lester dating that cougar down the block? Don't you wonder how that turned out? The whole family not only was talking about it at the picnic after church, but they were also posting derogatory comments about her birthmark! Don't you want to be a part of that?!

Yet, at the same time, you are catching up on the hobbies and goals that you left behind while you were addicted to that blue box of gossip. You are moving forward with your life, doing better in school, at work, and keeping the house in better shape. Your pets are being interacted with. Your spouse is happier because you are spending time with him/her. Your kids don't always see you huffin' when you see what that in-law that you didn't like much recently did. In fact, you might have actually played with your children or called your aunt in Omaha! The effects of this are boosting your self-esteem. You feel better than ever, and it's showing -- you're glowing! You realize that you are thinking less and less about Facebook. You spend more time at the park and going outside. You may have brought out that dusty bicycle and are amazed you still know how to ride it! You might have looked in the mirror after your most recent shower to realize you really did lose a couple of pounds! Congratulations.

Yes, others may think that this is just a phase. They may hope it is. Sometimes when a person does well for themselves people get jealous. On Facebook, people try to show that they are doing well, when in reality, many are stagnating. If you are typing how great you are doing, chances are you are not doing anything. You can only do something when you are not glued to (a)social networking. Once you show people that this is not just a phase, their perception of you may start to change. They may realize that you have the mental strength that few possess that allows you to back off that which 'everyone else' is doing. In fact, they may even be a bit jealous.

However, at the same time they may think you are arrogant and pompous for not being on Facebook. Perhaps they think that you think you are better than them. However, this is a contradiction in thought, as people on Facebook tend to brag about their accomplishments and spend time 'advertising' their life and thoughts to the world. You are not doing that. Instead, you are making moves to actually make your life better. You are moving towards real results, and instead of sharing them to the world, you are capitalizing on them. Yes, this is often seen as threatening, but you will only be happier as you reach for your own dreams. Leaving Facebook is just the first step. You will find it is amazingly easier to live a fuller and richer life once you've let go to an addiction that honestly has taken the entire world by storm.