Thursday, February 24, 2005

Amazing how things change...

The last time I bought sexy shoes I took pictures and sent them to Ed.I bought sexy shoes again, but I have no desire/am to lazy to show them off.Just a public service announcement since no one else has been inspired to post here lately.

Friday, February 18, 2005

old logs

laura: i'm soreAndrea: NADKEDelbifin: for melis 18th bday we need to have her gangrapedlaura: alreadyMeli: nekkedlaura: hahahahahaAndrea: sure i'm inMadman2024: heheMeli: lollaura: wouldn't be rape then would it?Meli: well...Meli: be surprisinglaura: indeedelbifin: yupelbifin: lauraMeli: ill pretend not to like it

Thursday, February 17, 2005

You dont grab chaplin, Chaplin grabs YOU!

Everyone is always confused about love. Do I love him? Is it puppy love ortrue love? I love you, but I'm just not in love with you. Who do I blamefor this? I blame Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. I think they should bedrawn and quartered in the town square. But then they should sew them backtogether but scramble up the parts so they would be these two crazypatchwork one breasted/half dicked/half pussied Julia Roberts/ Hugh Grantcreatures. That would be awesome.

Dear Annie: I am a 35-year-old woman with four children, an advanced degree and no serious health problems, but I have compulsively and secretly been eating crayons for months. I don't mean chewing on a crayon here and there. I mean eating an entire 64-count box, and doing it several times a week. I can't stop, and I don't know why I'm doing this.

I am too embarrassed to tell my doctor, because I know he'll think I am crazy. The box says the crayons are non-toxic, but I'm really eating a lot of them. And this is a really dumb question, but are they fattening? Why am I doing this? Am I crazy? Please help. -- Crayon Freak

Vice Magazine

Viceland.com

Does it get better than this? You've got a bag and a dirty slut nobody has to know about and the room is on someone else's credit card and the mini-bar is full. Even after the relentlessly loud fuck session (who cares about the neighbors—they don't even live there), there's the nude jumping on the bed and the movies and the room service. What's heaven got? Fuck heaven. Heaven's for fags.***************************
There's some weird thing with socks and high heels where you just get covered in a protective coating of babe sauce and can do no wrong. She could even let one rip and we'd still have a boner.
***************************
and the dont's
*********
When a lot of young black men are in college they are initiated into a fraternity via a large piece of bubble gum that is affixed to their arm. It fucking reeks and it sticks to your clothes and it keeps having to be redone but it stands for something, something real. It says, "I used to go to a school and hang out with a bunch of guys that you don't know."
**********
I understand that you're "gay" or "gay positive" or whatever and you are not ashamed of the fact that your tits look like a hell of a lot of other tits out there (more than Hollywood would care to admit) and unfair beauty standards and blah blah blah but for fuck's sake Rhoda, the kid is three years old. Why don't you tell her what a Cleveland Steamer is while you're at it.
**********
Here's a Miss Manners faux pas. When you're at a wedding don't go around the room choking people until they pass out. We don't like it. It's scary, it feels like you're dying (there's even the "go to the light" thing) and it hurts to swallow for weeks after.

Monday, February 07, 2005

Wow i actually read all of them

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Rob Playing Doom3

"what the hell is going on?? the asian guy started walking at me so i shot him"
"Of course the door doesnt work now i have to go the long way cause thats where the zombies are!!"
"am i going down?? I DONT WANNA GO DOWN"
"is there a suicide button???"

Saturday, February 05, 2005

UPDATE UPDATE: Even when they are backstage, the Disney characters refuse to stop being Disney characters. Like, when we met Peter Pan in the green room ("green room" is a showbiz term for a room where you wait backstage; it is never actually green in color) Peter stood there the whole time with his legs apart and his hands on his hips in the standard Peter Pan pose. It's a little scary. I'm not going into the men's room with Peter Pan, either.