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You’ve only got a handful of days to light up your liver with your favorite holiday drink before it’s back to seasonal beers and whatever other poison helps you get through the winter. But instead of reaching for that candy cane martini you hate yourself for ordering (but oh, how it tastes like Christmas in your mouth) or that Peppermint Schnapps-and-something, go for one of these curiously tasty holiday-themed libations, neither of which will leave you questioning your sexuality after the last sip.

The brainchild of master mixologist Pete Gugni and 42Below’s Borys Saciuk (above), cocktails “Cousin Eddie” and “Santa’s Whiskers” call for a little more muscle work behind your at-home bar than you’re probably used to. The result? More than worth it.

For lazy Chicagoans wanting to try these wintry concoctions but not wanting to put in the elbow grease, head over to The Bedford in Wicker Park this season and let them make one for you. The 1920s bank-turned-bar boasts a backdrop that’ll have you uploading mobile pics from your visit after you’ve “checked in” to the place on Facebook. They’ve even preserved the bank’s floor-to-ceiling vault door, which acts as a partition between the lounge area and the dining room, making you feel like both an undercover detective and 10 years old again. There’s also an entire wall lined with original lockboxes that you can’t help but want to touch and peer into. You wouldn’t be the first.

So whether you find yourself in Chicago’s hipster hub or are looking to impress your relatives with something different this year, remember Cousin Eddie and Santa’s Whiskers. They won’t disappoint.