This story was one of those awesome little flights of inspiration that keeps HPFF interesting for me. Plenty of people write stories about young love and dark magic and lost moments in canon. The Archives are full of angsty Harry and "what if Fred survived?" and "Jerk-face Ron drives Leather Pants Hermione into Misunderstood Draco's warm and waiting arms". They're familiar and comfortable and I like reading them -- except for that last one. This is the kind of story that really grabs my attention, though. Because the subject matter completely transcends the sandbox you're writing in and you did it with such incredible finesse and style. It will probably never attract the heaps of praise and devotion that a story like Before They Fall gets, but I think it's just as worth of that level of praise.

It took me a really long time to figure out what was really happening in the story. And this is one of those situations were that was actually a good thing because it's all from Victoire's point of view and her mental illness makes everything so twisted and difficult to recognize. It's hard to write a mentally ill character in the first person. It requires a deep look inside at the way the human mind works and the things that start to come undone when order breaks down. I'm sure it's more than a little scary. You did a great job of capturing the mania, the disaffection and the paranoia that consume poor Victoire as she succumbs to her demons.

The personification of her mental condition -- I'm guessing multiple personality disorder -- as this "imaginary" childhood friend was a clever idea. The "friend" is a brilliant foil for her feelings of persecution and being misunderstood. Her friend is always there to reassure her that she's the one who's right and other people just don't understand. Even if they do understand, they don't matter.

All of the visual imagery surrounding her was vivid and beautiful. She's a literal angel of destruction.

I loved the passage about her parents and siblings. The ending line is brilliant: But they all think they can fix you. Little do they know.

The ending was powerful as it was sad. I don't know what else to say about it. It's a tragically logical conclusion to a completely illogical state of affairs.

Beautiful job, my dear!

Author's Response: Hi Dan ♥

It was fun to play with a character who wasn't good like the marauders but wasn't evil like Bellarix. Just someone who went off the deep with no hope of ever getting her back.

I didn't start with the idea of giving her MOD/DID, but I'm so excited that it turned out that way and that the break down of her mental health is captured well! I had fun using her 'friend' as the, it's all your fault, person. Especially when she needed a little bit of reassurance that she had the right to do whatever she pleased.

The ending totally crept up on me! I'm so excited you liked her final decision. I don't think she really got how final it was, more along the lines of thought, haha jokes on you people.

Thank you for your awesome review, and I'm excited I didn't scare you away with my crazi Victoire! haha!!