Thursday, July 28, 2011

Over at The Critical Condition, Roommate Mark has unleashed the Ultimate Pop Song Tournament upon us, and our summer may not ever be the same. I, along with Nick Davis, was fortunate enough to be invited to help shape the field of 64 songs (from 1981-2011) and even did some of the writeups. Mark has started posting the first-round matchups, and I can't encourage you strongly enough to go over there and vote.

For my part? I'm going to highlight the matchups as Mark releases them and tell you how I'm voting and why. Because every good tournament deserves some armchair analysis!

(5) "You Oughta Know" [Alanis Morissette] vs. (12) "Sober" [Pink]

I feel bad that I wasn't able to conjure up the appropriate rapture about "Sober" in my writeup, so please go and read Mark's case for the song in the comments. He makes for a brilliant advocate. I don't know what my problem is, because "Sober" is an excellent song. There is just always a ceiling on my enthusiasm for Pink songs. Mostly because so few of them burn as brightly for me five years down the line. How often to I spin "Don't Let Me Get Me" these days? Sure, I love "Raise a Glass" right now, but the New Year's Eve trailer will probably kill some of that for me. Meanwhile, fifteen years on, and I am still in the middle of a passionate but vengeful affair with "You Oughta Know."

(4) "Smells Like Teen Spirit" [Nirvana] vs. (13) "Hey Ya" [Outkast]

I love what a close matchup this is, at least so far! It's such an apples-vs-oranges debate, it's hard to believe these songs are even from the same century (okay, okay, they're not, but don't be a dick about it). The point is, I have no idea what criteria someone would possibly use to make this choice, other than to very quickly ask themselves the question out loud and then vote the first song that pops into their head. I may or may not have done that. And voted Nirvana.

(6) "Livin' in a Prayer" [Bon Jovi] vs. (11) "Crazy" [Gnarls Barkley]

Someone in the comments on Mark's blog mentioned that it takes them a minute, after seeing the title "Crazy" to cycle past Seal's early hit in their mental rolodex before arriving at Gnarls Barkley. I confess, I have to do the same. Maybe that's not the sole reason I voted Bon Jovi, but I can't exactly discount it.

This is the closest I have come to actually just refusing to choose either one of them, and maybe the biggest motivation for actually casting a vote was so I could see what the current results were. (At press time, they were almost dead even which: a) is as it should be, but also b) OH MY GOD, I am going to agonize over this one.) If the entire decade of the '80s was the Brady Bunch, "Edge of Seventeen" and "Take Me Home Tonight" would be Jan and Greg, a.k.a. THE BEST ONES. How am I supposed to now go one step further and decide which song is the Jan (THE BEST ONE, people, keep up). You'd think "Take Me Home Tonight" would have the advantage because of two people vs. one, but really, this is a Ronnie vs. Stevie contest and everybody knows it. Tragically, my #justlikeRonniesays hash tag game failed to catch fire today, which is perhaps a bad omen for her chances. I'm not even going to tell you how I voted, because that's my God-given right as an American. But I will say this: I will raise SO MUCH HELL if the eventual winner doesn't at least go two more rounds.

Knowing what you know about me and The Killers, it should come as no surprise that this choice gave me zero anxiety whatsoever. Sorry, David Coverdale. You'll have to comfort yourself with the knowledge that you had the greatest head of hair in the 1980s. No small feat, that. Meanwhile, I'm off to plot out a strategy for my beloved Brandon Flowers to knock off Steve Perry in Round 2.

My personal finding that "Don't Stop Believing" is somehow backlash-proof notwithstanding, I was totally expecting the attrition from The Sopranos to Rock of Ages to Glee to have soured the public on the objectively great song. (Also, for my money, I still always think of it as the song from the roller rink in Monster.) But it's currently kicking the crap out of "Love Shack," which is both probably the right call and still crushingly disappointing. Listening to "Love Shack" more than a few times this week, I was smitten anew, at the playfulness, the nimble sonic grab-bag, the scratchy, prodding guitar licks during the "Bang, bang, bang" part. Bummer it's getting dropped so early.

The Curse of Sixteen continues in the Groove Thang bracket, as "No Diggity," a personal favorite and assumed competition dark horse gets instead fed to the Beyonce beast. Which is no slight against Ms. Knowles. You know I deemed "Crazy in Love" the best song of the decade. And even though "No Diggity" hails from the '90s, I wouldn't rank it above. But I will absolutely cop to throwing a sympathy vote Blackstreet's way because COME ON. This is an ignoble fate for a song that still, in 2011, gets asses to shaking. If it's not already on at least three of your party mixes, you have some personal evaluating to do.

(8) "Work It" [Missy Elliot] vs. "End of the Road" [Boyz II Men]

And thus dies the last of my four V.I.P. invites into the tournament. The imminent demise of "End of the Road" doesn't hurt the way "Freedom '90" or "I Want It That Way" do. Even I am not about to entertain thoughts of endangering Missy's position in the competition. I tried to make a case for "Get Ur Freak On" in the nomination phase, but the finality of Nick's defense of "Work It" as Missy's apex made me go back and listen to it -- really listen to it -- and he's actually right. There is just so much more happening at any given moment than you even realize. I can't even begin to speak of the horrors that await in Round 2.

But I'm glad "End of the Road" made it into the competition. For one thing, it would have seemed fraudulent to evaluate the top pop of the last 30 years without including some Boyz II Men, because they pretty much owned the early '90s. For another, this particular song is secretly the craziest thing to ever spend 10+ weeks at #1. A full third of the song is a spoken-word Ho Pass issued by a broken man to a cheatin' woman. Not even Tammy Wynette would have attempted that one. And then THAT is followed by a grown man crying for a minute and a half, while the rest of his group tries to keep the song going without things getting too weird. It is quite simply the greatest. "Oh my God. OH MY GOD!"..

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Over at The Critical Condition, Roommate Mark has unleashed the Ultimate Pop Song Tournament upon us, and our summer may not ever be the same. I, along with Nick Davis, was fortunate enough to be invited to help shape the field of 64 songs (from 1981-2011) and even did some of the writeups. Mark has started posting the first-round matchups, and I can't encourage you strongly enough to go over there and vote.

For my part? I'm going to highlight the matchups as Mark releases them and tell you how I'm voting and why. Because every good tournament deserves some armchair analysis!

I love this matchup of two of the biggest "You know that's not originally their song, right?" hits of all time. The gold standard of obnoxious know-it-alls everywhere! And you know what? I love Dolly Parton with all my heart, I really do, but I'm just about sick of hearing about how much better her version is than Whitney Houston's. Like, we get it, you're a far more substantial person for liking Dolly. And obviously her version is better! But it's not like Whitney has a number-one hit for a bazillion weeks due to hypnosis or something. When she hits that booming note for the final chorus, she's making you feel something. That's why you hate it!

Fewer people try to perpetuate the notion that Prince gives a better rendition of "Nothing Compares 2 U," thank God. Mostly because Sinead O'Connor is viewed as just as authentic as Dolly Parton. And boy, is she. If you know me, you know my very favorite thing in the universe is singers who cry real tears in their music videos. Which is why that single tear at "All the flowers that you planted, Mama" just slays me. Sinead definitely gets my vote.

I had to fight to get BOTH these songs in the tournament, and even though my beloved Debbie is currently getting trounced. I'm choosing to see it as a validation of how fucking unbelievable a song "We Belong" is. Because IT IS. I love that Pat Benatar's ass-kicker of a voice is putting itself in service of perfectly constructed melodic relationship counseling. Still, though, my vote went to my childhood best pal Debbie Gibson, who managed to fight through the Casio orchestrations of her regrettable time period with the sheer clarity of her voice and lyrics. Plus, seriously, watch that music video. Shoulder pads AND Blossom hats AND Rickie Vasquez-approved color-explosion vests?? Bliss.

Similar to my Kate Bush-free childhood, I also was somehow kept ignorant of the Pet Shop Boys, at least until long past the point where I was judged to be a traitor to my orientation for not really getting their whole thing. I think the last bus to the New Wave was leaving just as I was entering the pop-culture sphere, which means neither of these two options hold much sway over me. So I did what I felt was the only responsible thing to do and went with Dusty Springfield.

Poor Kate Bush, you guys. I guess I can't complain too loudly about how she's currently getting trounced in this matchup. I'm the guy who apparently never came across Ms. Bush growing up, despite the fact that I was super into pretty much all her descendents (Tori Amos, Sarah McLachlan, you name 'em). But even though I probably can't tell Hounds of Love from Hound of the Baskervilles, I can still appreciate a superior pop song, and "Running Up That Hill" is definitely one. I like "Losing My Religion" a whole lot -- certainly my favorite use of the mandolin in music history -- but other R.E.M. songs would have given me more of an internal struggle.

Now we're getting to the region of the bracket where I actually wrote the song blurbs, so I'm not going to repeat myself too much here. Except to say, once again, that I feel compelled to make the case for the underdog; "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" is a GREAT song. What is with these 16-seeds?? I love them all so much and yet I just can't vote for them again such towering competition. Billy Corgan may have my angsty teens, but Axl Rose has my hopeful formative years.

(8) "Rolling in the Deep" [Adele] vs. (9) "Dog Days Are Over" [Florence + the Machine]

Talk about two songs jockeying for position in the same square of the pop landscape. I love Adele and think she's got the better career-longevity potential. But "Dog Days" takes it for me in a squeaker. Maybe not exclusively for that moment when the beat drops out and then ol' Florence comes roaring back, but that's certainly a big part of it.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Over at The Critical Condition, Roommate Mark has unleashed the Ultimate Pop Song Tournament upon us, and our summer may not ever be the same. I, along with Nick Davis, was fortunate enough to be invited to help shape the field of 64 songs (from 1981-2011) and even did some of the writeups. Mark has started posting the first-round matchups, and I can't encourage you strongly enough to go over there and vote.

For my part? I'm going to highlight the matchups as Mark releases them and tell you how I'm voting and why. Because every good tournament deserves some armchair analysis!

Look, I realize that Tina Turner doesn't need one more man in her life doing her wrong. But I can't help it, Tina! If it helps any, Kelly's pop-perfect breakout song makes the same case for liberating oneself from a crap relationship.

A lot of today's matchups are pitting '80s aficionados against '90s/'00s hits, and you know what side of the line I fall on. The charms of "Karma Chameleon" don't fade over time, or repeated listenings, and when it ultimately wins this matchup, it'll be a worthy victor. But my soft spot for Early Abdul endures, particularly the mechanical ramp up to the chorus on "Straight Up." Like a Transformer morphing into a giant dance floor.

First of all, I'm going to pat us on the back for choosing the right Cyndi Lauper song. And then I'm going to pat Mark on the back for crafting this first-round matchup that seems to be driving people into self-flagellating fits. That said...I'm kind of nonplussed to see that "Time After Time" has such a solid lead, at press time. It's an achingly gorgeous song, but "Total Eclipse" is legendary and managed to live up to its own grandeur which, if you think about it, should not even be possible.

Once again, a 1-16 matchup where I can't help but feel like the low seed deserved better. There's a lot to snicker at with Meat Loaf's big, fat romantic epic, but it builds up to crescendos that few songs can even dream of, and Lorraine Crosby (thanks, Mark) taking things up to a whole other level. Please a make a point to listen to the full version of the song, just so you can hear her wail about building Emerald Cities out of grains of sand. All that said ... it's "Alone." There really isn't much of a discussion. Ann Wilson manages to combine Lorraine Crosby's voice and Meat Loaf's imposing frame in one perfect package, and that's BEFORE we even factor Nancy into things. Done deal.

(5) "Viva La Vida" [Coldplay] vs. (12) "Voices Carry" [Til Tuesday]

Big surprise, everybody still hates Coldplay. I still don't quite know where the vehemence comes from. Not when there's so much evidence that Chris Martin and Co. know their way around brilliant pop songs. "Viva La Vida" is maybe a notch below "Clocks," in my estimation, but they both hold far more singular positions in the pop pantheon than most are willing to give them credit for. I love "Voices Carry" passionately, but I feel the need to stick up for the underdog here, even if it's seeded higher.

"Not Ready to Make Nice" has one of my favorite extended-bridge sequences from the past ten years. I am incapable of not being moved when I hear it. That said, picking "Fast Car" is the easiest call of today's matchups. There is so much honest pain, conveyed so beautifully, I could burst open. And not even Natalie Maines can match the sobbing yodel in Tracy's voice.

Monday, July 25, 2011

You guys! Over at The Critical Condition, Roommate Mark has unleashed the Ultimate Pop Song Tournament upon us, and our summer may not ever be the same. I, along with Nick Davis, was fortunate enough to be invited to help shape the field of 64 songs (from 1981-2011) and even did some of the writeups. Mark started posting the first-round matchups today, and I can't encourage you strongly enough to go over there and vote.

For my part? I'm going to highlight the matchups as Mark releases them and tell you how I'm voting and why. Because every good tournament deserves some armchair analysis!

This is a matchup that should not be close, on paper. And I don't really expect the voting to be very close either. "Like a Prayer" is pretty much the definition of a brilliant pop song, and that's before you consider all its ancillary benefits (it represents all Madonna for the tournament; the music video was groundbreaking and amazing). It's getting my vote, but MAN do I want to make a case for "Higher Love," one of the more underrated pop masterpieces of the '80s. By the time Chaka Khan joins the festivities, all "BRAAAAANG ME A HIGHER LOVE!" I'm pretty much in heaven. Stevie and Chaka got a terrible first-round draw; I'd have voted it over either one of the 8-9 seeds.

I think I grew up in the wrong corner of the '80s, because I never really experienced "Don't You Want Me" until its Aughts-and-beyond resurgence. It's a strong song, but so much of pop music (at least in the way I experience it) is in the emotional reactions it pulls from you, and I don't really get that from The Human League. As one-hit-wonders go, "Tubthumping" is a really strong one, as this irony-melting They Might Be Giants cover shows. It gets my vote.

It's not that I don't love "Sweet Dreams" or Annie Lennox or appreciate the positions that they hold in the halls of music history. But I'm just not going to vote for it over a song that hold as prominent a place in my own personal history as "Freedom" does. Most days, I like to pretend that David Fincher got his first Oscar nomination for directing that video rather than Benjamin Button. It holds up as a pure song without all those supermodels writhing around too, but why deny yourself all those mental images?

(4) "I Want It That Way" [Backstreet Boys] vs. "Heaven Is a Place on Earth" [Belinda Carlisle]

I advocated hard for BSB's inclusion in this tournament, and my reward was a first-round matchup with a song I have more pure heart-bursting affection for than almost any other. Oh, hi, my two children. I guess I'm going to have to choose between you now. Both songs make me want to force the entire world to sing along with me. Both have amazing breakdown-power-return moments. Iconography: the masked children with glowy Earth globes vs. the BSB white-suit assault? AAAAHHH, I can't choose! I guess, breaking it down, Belinda does solo what it takes five Backstreet Boys to do. But, man, when Nick Carter busts in with that post-breakdown "Don't wanna hear you SAYYY!" I can't vote any other way.

Once again, call me Sophie, because girlfriend is about to make a CHOICE. There are few songs more fun to sing along to than Dee-Lite's early-'90s confection (especially if you have like 2-3 friends with you and can assign roles -- make sure your Q-Tip can handle that rapid-fire flow!). But I honestly think "What a Feeling" is one of those unimprovable pop songs gifted from Jesus. I still think Lady Miss Kier should be a guest judge on RuPaul's Drag Race, though.

(3) "Bad Romance" [Lady Gaga] vs. (14) "9 to 5" (Dolly Parton)

So tough to properly evaluate "Bad Romance" without years and years of perspective. Obviously, I know "9 to 5" has stood the test of time. Will I be able to say the same about "Bad Romance"?? ...Actually, I think we will. I wouldn't be opposed to a series of battle duets to help me change my mind.

Recently Viewed

Mission: Impossible - Ghost ProtocolThis was deeply stupid but a LOT of fun. It made me forget how creeped out I am by Tom Cruise, it nailed set piece after set piece, and it took the "A Really Great Episode of Alias" level of M:I 3 to the next step of being "A Really Great Alias Movie." In a year when so many movies just would not stop telling us about the magic of the movies and how films could let us see the impossible, Brad Bird stepped up to the plate and actually showed us. That sequence in Dubai is going to be tough for action movies to top for a long while. And I would honestly nominate it for Costume Design because every single person in that cast looked the most fuckable they ever have, and that's saying something. Jeremy Renner and Paula Patton, nice work. B / B+

The Girl with the Dragon TattooZodiac meets Seven without the latter's audacity nor the former's studiousness. OR ... the best season of The Killing ever. As a story, it's a smidge too obvious, and I seriously do think it's episodic enough to have been made into a TV series. And I don't want to get into a Gender Studies thing about Lisbeth -- and I could totally entertain ideas to the contrary -- but to me she was pure male fantasy, if a particularly badass male fantasy. Viewed in that light, the rape scene is less bracingly necessary than luridly opportunistic. But I'm not trying to say I was deeply offended by the movie or anything. It's a fun procedural with compelling actors in the lead roles (how does Daniel Craig's insane sexiness continue to sneak up on me?). Obvious casting in the supporting roles is a drawback, but overall, it was far easier for me to look past the story and appreciate Fincher's frigid aesthetics (that ever-present howling wind!) here than it was in The Social Network. B-

MargaretHere's where 2012 Joe apologizes to 2006 Joe, because I know how frustrating it is to live in the parts of America that just don't get limited-release indie movies that we get in New York. Because I complained and complained about not getting to see Margaret, and ultimately, it was put back into theaters and I got to take advantage of my incredibly fortunate geography to see it. Of course, after weeks and weeks of #teamMargaret, I was worried I'd been oversold on the movie, that I would walk out not getting what all the fuss was about. I'm happy to say I DO get what the fuss was about. It's not a perfect movie, but it packs a punch. The moment that drives the film -- a first-act bus accident that costs Allison Janney her life -- is legitimately harrowing, and it makes total sense that this would be traumatic enough to drive the plot of this sprawling tale (and to stand in for 9/11 when the movie's allegorical needs make it necessary). Anna Paquin's performance as a girl whose self-centeredness is almost feral is a marvel (and it connects a lot of dots for the way she's been playing Sookie on True Blood, to be honest). And the supporting cast is full of great performances and teen actors who would go on to become A Thing in the five years since this movie was made. Believe the hype about Jeannie Berlin's performance, too. She doesn't show up until halfway through, but her every line reading (which range from hilarious to scathing) is a winner, and she and Paquin make for one of the more fascinating screen duos in recent history. Lonergan has significant pacing issues in the latter half -- and my ass he couldn't find any scenes to cut; there are whole subplots and characters (Jean Reno; Matt Damon) who could have been trimmed and/or set aside for a director's cut -- but the script and the actors rarely step wrong. Here is a movie that bites off a lot of big ideas, about responsibility, about the limits of hanging meaning on the meaningless, and how Upper West Side teens can be just as monstrous and insufferable as their east-side counterparts. Also, if every five years we could get a new movie starring the 2005 version of Matt Damon, that would be just fine. Yum. B+

PariahThere's going to be a danger of overpraising this low-budget indie for being a low-budget indie, and for being about the kinds of characters and environments you don't usually get, even in low-budget indies. When it comes to black, teenage lesbians in lower-middle-class families in non-hipster Brooklyn, we're not exactly spoiled for choice, so for that alone, Pariah SHOULD be celebrated. And it's a very good movie, on its own terms. Adpero Oduye makes for a magnetic and fascinating lead, and the movie lets her life be about a lot of different things at once. Teen movies have a particular tendency to reduce their characters' pressures to just one thing, but Oduye has to deal with coming out and fears over her parents' crumbling marriage, and strained best-friend relationships, and a lot more. It's not a perfect movie -- some of the dialogue feels heavy and scripted, and I don't think Kim Wayans is all that great as the mom. But overall, it's really solid (and not nearly the suffocating bummer I've heard it described as). B

ShameIt's maybe ever-so-slightly more an acting showcase for Michael Fassbender than a cinematic masterpiece, but who's going to complain about settling for very, very good? McQueen digs deep into Fassbender's sex addict character in a way that's explicit but not salacious, and ultimately the joke's on us, because he really puts us into the mindset of a tormented guy unable to forge any kind of human connections. It's quite something. I could go on for about 10 more lines worth of prurient concerns (honestly, Fassbender is 30% penis by volume, I'd swear to it), and one fairly story-based quibble (McQueen really pusses out at the gay club), but for the most part, it's a total must-see. B+

The Week in TV:

Fringe (5/6)I have to say, this left me largely unsatisfied. Not the part about Peter at the end -- I'm confident that's going to get resolved in a way that'll open up season 4 in a big way. But that's actually part of my real problem: this whole episode didn't feel like a conclusion to everything Season 3 has built to but rather a beginning for the next arc. But without satisfyingly resolving what had been built up this season. Like we got an epilogue and a springboard into the next chapter without the actual climax. So much of this episode was spent trying to unbox everything we were presented in the flash-forward that by the time the actual action went down, we had less than 10 minutes to advance the plot in any real way. Still love the show, still think Anna Torv has had a breakthrough season, but this was a definite letdown.

Parks and Recreation (5/5)How does this show do it? What for all intents and purposes seemed like a purely goofy, guest-star-driven episode with Parker Posey as Leslie's rich-town nemesis (with a b-story about Ron Swanson desperately trying to avoid a birthday celebration in his honor) managed to arrive at no fewer than three emotional high-points. Not one of them felt like cheap sentiment, either, they were completely earned and true to the characters. That Leslie/Ron birthday scene was set up so slyly, it was like the twist ending of a thriller. This is what a show can do when it's built on such a strong foundation of characters. Well fucking done.

30 Rock (5/5)What a weird episode, with a random Kenneth moment at the end that I'd almost buy as an actual plot point considering how well it's supported by several seasons of "Kenneth is ageless" jokes. Liz being tormented by Tracy was funny, if honestly sad, and Jenna works best when opposite Will Forte. But really, this was all about Victor Garber, for me. Kudos to the show for nabbing such a great guest star for such a fun role -- I don't know why "wool" is so comedy-friendly a concept, but it just is. It's very wool.RuPaul's Drag Race (5/2)Not as explosive as past seasons' reunions -- the Shangela-Raven feud seems to be at least nominally active, but neither seemed all that invested in propagating it. ...Well, Shangela was, kind of. But besides one more tired rehash of the Heather vs. Boogers battle (my stance: the Heathers were throwing shade like good queens should; the Boogers took it personally because they're insecure and not seasoned; advantage: Heathers), and Alexis Mateo made a lame attempt to shame Michelle Visage for actually judging her, but mostly it was just a rehash of the season's big moments. The big story for me was confirmation that my love for Mariah was not misguided. She may have been eliminated for fully supportable reasons (she didn't have the chops when it came to performance), but she showed up with a killer face and a sparkling attitude. See you on Drag U, girl!

Game of Thrones (5/1)Damn it, Game of Thrones! You got me hooked last week with that sweet scene of Jon Snow gifting his lil' sister with a sword. Why won't you just let me love you?? This week's episode took two steps forward (Catelyn continues to be a character worth cheering for; Jaime Lannister suddenly has layers beyond the clichéd sister-fucking), but then two steps back with even more tedious political hoo-ha, more indistinguishable characters, and more of Joffrey and Vinerys, possibly the most one-dimensional characters on television. On the bright side, I really think that child-bride sex slave and her hulking rape-monster of a husband are gonna make it!