When learning becomes a culture, we have a generation of human beings obsessed with learning, some of which react to the below thoughts productively, while others freeze up and severely compromise themselves in their world, such as me. Where is our own lives considered here in these thoughts, let alone a world preoccupied in such seemingly small thoughts?

Thoughts

“When I have learnt enough, life will be easy”

I Forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that within the statement, “Once I learn enough, life will be easy”, I am hiding myself as the experience of wanting to run away from the experience of myself, that I attribute to not learning enough, and within this the self judgment I am holding that I never learn enough to deserve an ‘easy life’.

When and as I see myself disguising fears I am not willing to face in hopeful statements made in positive, hopeful thoughts, like “When I learn enough, life will be easy”, I stop and breathe. I realise that what is here is myself in fact, and the only way to change what is here as consequences is to face myself as the direct cause of those consequences, with no backdoors such as the self created delusion of hope. I Commit myself to show that the ONLY point that is capable of changing myself to stop consequence is myself as directive principle, will, and responsibility – all which can only be lived here, not in an alternate ‘child friendly’/’me/ego-friendly’ version of what is here; I am either facing myself or I am not. In this self-honesty is required to be realised individually, one moment at a time.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide/suppress the negative friction/conflict that I act onto myself internally, by/through accepting and allowing the self judgment that ‘I never learn enough’, and the belief that I do not deserve to enjoy myself/live an ‘easy life’ until I learn ‘enough’.

When and as I see myself judging myself to not be learning enough, I stop and breathe. I realise that nonetheless, I must live and apply myself in specificity and detail of/as the Physical, as one physical body required to live in this physical existence. I Commit myself to stick to the physical timelines of accumulation to assess whether I have in fact learnt enough or not: SPECIFICALLY stopping participation in trusting a feeling for assurance, to shift assurance back into/as the assurance of myself as living example seen/revealed in the actions I have participated in, over timelines of accumulation.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define an ‘easy life’ according to those people in my world that my mother said were ‘good sons/daughters’, especially when they learnt enough to consistently achieve high grades, subsequently to be admitted into prestigious universities and get their degrees, in which is implied that they will get a good job, etc. to all lead to having a good life as an ‘easy life’.

When and as I see myself fearing myself not having an easy life, projecting/blaming others to have easy lives while I never do, I stop and breathe. I realise that each one in fact supports themselves to utmost detail and specificity to have an ‘easy’ life, yet within this what matters is not how ‘easy’/’difficult’ my life is, but whether or not I am walking the process to direct myself into/as equality and oneness with myself, and in this allow a world that is best for all to manifest. I Commit myself to apply the tools of writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application to measurably serve as a guide to the dedication and commitment of myself to walking the lifelong process of standing equal and one to myself and this world.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a difficult life according to a memory where my mother said that people face many more obstacles when they do not invest in their learning, in which I reacted in the thought, “I don’t want to face more obstacles and lead a difficult life.”, in which I began to fear not investing in my own learning/learning enough, to the extent that I began constantly asking myself if I learnt enough to pass this exam out of fear of losing the positive experience as having a ‘good life’/’living the good life’.

When and as I see myself scheming in my thoughts/backchat to avoid having a difficult life/negative energy experience expression, I stop and breathe. I Realise that in acting on the pressure to avoid a difficult life, I am in fact reacting to the fear I have attached to that which I am facing. I Commit myself to stop fear dictating what I do, to instead direct my own decisions according to self and live/apply what is best for all Life; what is immediately best for all Life.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide fear of having a difficult life – all only because I did not learn enough – within/as the positive, hopeful statement as the thought, “Once I learn enough, life will be easy.”

When and as I see myself hiding negative experiences of myself in self generated statements of positivity and hope, I stop and breathe. I realise that positive and hopeful statements without positive action with positive impact within/as the Physical are traps that make self honesty unnecessarily difficult, in deliberately blurring emotions/feelings from the actual direct cause of who/how/what I am within/as the Physical, with physical, measurable evidence. I Commit myself to stick to the simplicity of remaining within/as the physical 1 + 1 accumulation of self corrective action, by/through stopping participating in emotions/feelings based on a thought.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define learning only to topics/subjects that are officially tested in exams/by people and reviewed by authorities that decide whether I am admitted or not, instead of seeing/realising/understanding that from the beginning I have been learning from what is here WITHOUT any concept/idea about learning.

When and as I see myself attempting to investigate learning by/through searching for a definition in my memory and thoughts/emotions/feelings and backchat, I stop and breathe. I realise that learning is a word and all words reflect who I am as what I accept and allow within/as the word, which results in what/how/why I live the word learning/learn. I Commit myself to show that the only way to investigate learning is to investigate myself in my accepted and allowed relationship to learning, that will never be equal to the relationship I would like to project myself within/as learning. I Commit myself to direct myself as my relationship to learning to be/become a word that is aligned to the Physical cause and effect and then realigned to the cause and effect that is best for all.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide and suppress the obvious consequences of trusting a creation as memory, that shifts according to my accepted and allowed self interest in any given moment, experiences of want/need/desire and temptations with layers of other reactions such as anger, fear, hatred, disgust, judgment, etc.

When and as I see myself making a decision based on how I feel in a memory, I stop and breathe. I realise that I do not decide when I allow a memory to decide for me because within memories are many opportunities to fuel the delusion of the Mind as the various layers of reactions within/as the memory. I Commit myself to make all decisions within/as the silence of remaining in the physical body, as the responsibility of the physical body and therefore the physical existence, that is silent because responsibility remain constant and continuous, while Energy shifts between negative, neutral, and positive experience. I Commit myself to stick to the simplicity of remaining in the silence of the physical body, and instead direct the memory to what is best for all.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, in spite of the living proof that I am not as every moment of breath coordinated by this physical existence and the physical body, equate myself to less than a memory as the ‘good’ experience I believed I had when I was a child, and ‘less than’ because of being needy for this memory-based experience to be/become my experience of myself always, in deliberate friction/conflict from the experience of myself here.

When and as I see myself trying to ‘elevate’/alter my experience of myself to match an experience I have generated with a memory, I stop and breathe. I Realise that I hide from myself as the experience of myself, when altering my experience of myself

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist facing myself constantly and continuously by/through remaining here with myself as the experience of myself in every moment grounded in breath, and to in fact walk the process of self realisation = seeing/realising/understanding what I have created of myself into/as ‘one step further than muscle memory’, and within/as directly seeing myself for what I have become direct myself to live in ways that are best for all Life.

When and as I see myself hesitating to be here and face myself, I stop and breathe. I realise that I cannot know the future and how my actions may or may not play out in the world in all its parts. I commit myself to stick to the basic tasks of taking responsibility for myself in the smaller = , with no expectation of what may happen because any would have to be based on knowledge/information.

“When I learn enough, people won’t be threats to me anymore”

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive other people as threats to my existence. I realise that other people are not here specifically to threaten me. I realise that when other people are threatening me, I am in fact the cause of them feeling compelled to harm me in every way. I Commit myself to stick to my decision to support myself in this life as the physical living being in partnership with all parts of Life, applying myself to stop all excuses and do what needs to be done.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that people are here as deliberate obstacles to test my living example. I realise that the single obstacle that separate me from in fact doing what needs to be done is myself alone, as the failure to assert the decision to live in ways that are best for all. I realise that it is impossible to separate and isolate myself from other people, and doing so implies blaming others for me not asserting my own decision to manifest habits/patterns of living that are best for all. I Commit myself to redefine my participation with others in a way where I am clearly supporting myself to manifest my decision of who I am.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect learning with my ability to defend against other people’s personal attacks ‘against’ me. I realise that learning is simply the process of being able to apply knowledge/information within certain specific contexts, in which all contexts are inevitably measured as a matter of time. I commit myself to stick to the simplicity of what learning actually is, as the process of accumulating and applying knowledge/information to more and more specificity and detail.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define learning according to suiting myself into armor, sword, and shield to defend myself and attack others when I have no choice but to attack to fulfill my own self interested wants/needs/desires. I realise that learning is something that needs to be done to support myself in this world, and I decide always whether I enjoy or dislike this fact. I Commit myself to apply ways to enjoy learning, so that I am able to consistently learn at the required pace at the bare minimum to pass exams.

“Learning is the only way to success”

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my entire perception of myself according to how well I learn. I realise that who I really am is the sum total of my actions, measured and revealed in every moment. I commit myself to walk the process of learning until I am equal to the pace I require to learn at. I commit myself to define learning according to self support, where I see/realise/understand that I am supporting myself by/through developing my learning ability.

“I learn to become more than other people in my intelligence and cleverness”

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define learning according to the ability to deceive others. I Realise that learning has NOTHING to do with other people or their relationship to/towards me because regardless of whether I admit this to myself or not, every moment is a reflection of the decision I have made, including a moment when I am learning. I Commit myself to stop defining my decisions according to other people’s opinions about me, to instead define my decision according to what is required for the world to change to what is best for all, as individuals willing to do what needs to be done – in spite of the past – to stand as living examples that change against all odds is possible.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush myself by/through constantly thinking about how much time each step takes to learn more. I realise that all thoughts/emotions/feelings about the task only waste the limited opportunities I have to in fact direct myself to accumulate habits/patterns that are best for all. I Commit myself to stop participating in the thoughts/emotions/feelings that manifest as backchat with the temptation of failing, to instead stick to the 1 + 1 accumulation of actions to assert and prove to myself that I am capable of living a decision within the context of a lifetime, and that every moment not aligned with my decision is several steps back – which severely delays/postpones my process of developing self trust in taking the constant risk of living decisions to their end, as seen/revealed in the beginning if I am self honest about my decision.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse moments in learning material to compare myself as my ‘intelligence’ and ‘cleverness’ to others, which is simply just a thought to fulfill self interest and distract me from applying the decision of myself. I Realise that the only real success and reward in any process such as learning, is the manifested opportunity to express myself as Life, but this is only possible when I have given Life, such as in considering other people as I would consider myself. I Commit myself to stick to the utter simplicity of stopping all thoughts/emotions/feelings that do not align with the decision I am here to immediately apply, in the accumulation of evidence so that I may develop some self trust in manifesting what I decide to accomplish.

“Learning is the only way to ensure my survival in the world system of money”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect learning with fear of survival, to the extent that I design and participate in thoughts about survival in the context of ‘what if I learn/do not learn’. I Realise that I must identify all thoughts as myself which have been designed to generate fear, and immediately stop my participation in such thoughts if I would like to direct myself as the Physical to change into/as a living example that stand for what is best for all, and that this will be a process yet the decision to walk the process is immediate, in which I require immediate feedback to whether I have applied myself in the decision or not – hence self honesty is required. I Commit myself to walk this process of change within myself alone because I am incapable of assisting and supporting others when I am not even able to trust myself to be capable of living my decisions. I Commit myself to let go of all self interested wants/needs/desires to project myself to be someone, to stop moving in my thoughts/emotions/feelings to slow down until I remain here facing myself in every moment, direct and brutal to/towards my ego as an indication that I am in fact stopping my own ego to dare to consider Life.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself within/as learning to participate in thoughts about my own survival alone, often starting with the phrase, “What if…”. I realise that ‘what if’ thoughts are an indication of fear, and therefore I must stop participating in the thought to stop participating and ingraining myself to the mind control that fear represents: as clearly exposed in how I daily manipulate myself to remain in habits/patterns of comfort in fear of loss, and how I am daily manipulated and manipulating others to fulfill my own self interest. I Commit myself to stop accepting and allowing a world governed by fear because the consequences of this is clearly not what is best for all. Therefore I commit myself to stop participating in fear EVERY time a thought, like a conclusion, comes up in a self-righteous voice of ‘What if…’.

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About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.

One Response to Day 89: Learning Must Not Become a Culture

hey Kasper, what I found/realized within and for myself, is that I had created this self-consciousness of self-judgment and blame and was beating myself up, creating double fuck-ups sotospeak, instead of simply and effectively directing a point in common sense practicality. I made a commitment to practice the immediate letting go of (self-)judgment and (self-)blame and make sure I actually FORGIVE myself as I walk the self forgiveness points — to no longer accept or allow myself to sabotage myself through/as the mind, as I realized that I was merely keeping myself busy in the mind thus feeding the mind thus perpetuating the points instead of releasing and in fact transforming them as myself.