The anonymous meanderings of a working mom

Jealousy…

My best friend is home. Happens same time every year. You don’t like her, never have. And I have never understood why. I went out with her, like I always do. Yes, I got home late, very late. I told you I would. Yes, I sat at the bar, after leaving a party. Those are things I never do. Yes, I talked to many old friends because for some reason it was a damn high school reunion in there. Yes, I let my friend dance the night away while I talked to a good friend from high school. No, it wasn’t anything to worry about.

Your jealousy never ceases to amaze me. I think it has more to do with your own faults and past choices then mine. God knows how loyal I have been to you, even when I can’t expect the same loyalty from you. My friends don’t understand why I put up with your controlling, boring, asshole, unsociable bullshit. And sometimes I don’t either.

Last night it was asked of me what I want. I really don’t know that anyone has really asked me that. I wasn’t prepared to answer that. Today, I am. I want someone to love me for me. Trust me, hold me when I am sad, love me when I am angry, find joy in my happiness, understand how deep my loyalty runs, and give me the same respect and freedom I give them.

I don’t know what prevents you from giving me those simple things. I suppose your jealousy tops the list, but more then that it is your overall distrust in people. I have given you absolutely NO REASON to not trust me…..