The ugly Indian man

Sir — One cannot but agree with Mukul Kesavan’s unflattering views on the ugliness of the Indian male (“The ugly Indian man”, Aug 9). Indeed, more than their facial features, it is their habits that make Indian males uglier than men of other nationalities. But most of the habits that Kesavan mentions have become so strongly embedded in our culture that they have acquired a degree of social acceptance. Indian males spit in public places, release copious volumes of tobacco smoke into the environment and litter streets with cigarette butts. That is not all. Most of them shout into their prized cell phones, urinate in the open, ogle at women in public transport, use abusive language with each other and tear the leaves of trees while passing by them.

However, Kesavan should not have found fault with Indian men leaving the top buttons of their shirts open, given the tropical climate of this land. This is especially so since their female counterparts often enjoy the comfort of keeping their backs or midriffs bare.

Yours faithfully,Tapan Pal, Batanagar

Sir — Each point made by Mukul Kesavan in his condemnation of the habits of Indian men rings true. Alas, Kesavan’s article is unlikely to make men in this country change their disgusting practices. This is simply because — and I dare say that this is part of the Indian males’ “ugliness” — most of them do not read newspapers!

I would like to disagree with Kesavan on just one point (please note that my wife is entirely with me on this one). I cannot say that most Indian women are beautiful, even in comparison to their menfolk only. Whether in looks or in manners, Indian women can pose stiff competition to men in this country. When women are not bickering among themselves or indulging in their favourite past time — man-bashing — they are usually busy bitching about one another. A look around any ladies’ compartment on a local train would confirm this fact. As far as appearance is concerned, the nubile nymphet of sixteen invariably turns into a wheezing, obese figure by the time she is 30; and the older she is, the uglier she gets. If we are to call a spade a spade, why restrict the plain-speaking to Indian men only?

Yours faithfully,Suvro Chatterjee, Durgapur

Sir — Mukul Kesavan misses out on mentioning four filthy customs of the Indian male. These are spitting (whether saliva, phlegm or betel juice), blowing loudly through the nose, urinating in full view of others and emitting loud belches. Women rarely, if ever, indulge in these revolting habits. Having said that, it should be pointed out that men alone do not nurture the vanity of dyeing their hair. One often comes across the amusing sight of aged women, their faces wrinkled with years, sporting hair dyed jet black. Kesavan is right in saying that the unselfconsciousness of men comes from a sense of entitlement that is inbuilt into every male child in Indian society. This is yet another fallout of our overwhelming patriarchal mindset. The fact that ugly Indian men get paired off with good-looking women is a result of the limited choices present before women in a traditional society, where most marriages are arranged.

Yours faithfully,Amit Banerjee, Calcutta

Sir — Mukul Kesavan’s intense hatred towards Indian men, as is evident in his article, is quite astounding. There would have been a national outrage if The Telegraph had published a similar article on the habits of women.Since male-bashing seems to have become fashionable these days, articles such as Kesavan’s no longer surprise the readers.

Yours faithfully,Anijeet Bannerjee, Calcutta

Sir — The social importance enjoyed by Indian males has made them arrogant, stubborn and insensitive. It is a pity that our society dotes on male children only, sanctioning every objectionable habit of theirs in the process. During summer, men are allowed to move around in their houses scantily clothed while women are expected to remain dressed properly. Worse, in the marketplace, male vendors sit half naked throughout the year, oblivious to the impact of this visual horror on buyers.

Yours faithfully,Srikanta Bhattacharjee, Calcutta

Sir — Mukul Kesavan is of the opinion that all Hindi-film heroes are downright ugly. However, his statement would not stand to scrutiny. Filmstars such as Rajesh Khanna or Akshay Khanna can in no way be considered unattractive. Besides, if all our heroes are repulsive, why do their female fans run after them?

Yours faithfully,Ajit Upadhyay, Calcutta

Sir — However bad-looking the Indian male might be, nothing can prevent him from getting paired off with beautiful women. One reason for this might be the fact that the good looks of most of our gorgeous damsels happen to be only skin- deep.

Yours faithfully,Surajit Das, Calcutta

Sir — Mukul Kesavan could have added a word or two about the ‘hairdo’ of balding men. Men in this category are unable to accept the fact that they are losing their tresses rapidly. As a result, they go to ridiculous extents to ‘style’ the last few strands of their hair. These men should learn to accept the fact that hair loss is an inevitable part of the ageing process.The least they can do is wear a cap instead of making themselves the butt of all jokes.

Yours faithfully,Soma Datta, Siliguri

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31 Responses to The ugly Indian man

Aha,Mukul Kesavan has probably not witnessed the emergence of the “Metrosexual” male in “urbane” India.He should’ve checked out this article which appeared a year before his did, in ‘Asia Times’.
Check this link:http://www.atimes.com/atimes/South_Asia/HA12Df03.html

Dear Nestor, I KNEW you would try to get me on that point:)BUT, you’re missing my point,which is,– not all Indian men are “ugly” (in Kesavan’s understanding of the term),thanks to these metrosexuals.
Now,if you ask me,there are uglier acts, committed the world over, to talk about rather than dwell,at length, on silly ideosyncrasies – characteristic of Indian men.

Hi
I agree and disagree with comments about “ugly indian males”…I am Inidan and a male and no way I will call myselg un-ugly. yes mem rarely have manners (barring the 20 lakh who call themselves metrosexual)…..There is a logic in this ( I am not justifying though) …why should they be mannered….they might be sons of bitches of last order , they will get good girls , will have family and will have money …so why bother !! This is a game …a game where women (again barring 25-30 lakh women working in MNCs ) always loose and men always win ….I am sick of this and so are many other !!!

i love ugly indian men, so please will you give me some way i can get in contact with these men. the uglier the better and i like rough hands and rough sex to be honest so give me all youve got …i dont mind if they are dead short as im a big tall bird that loves all height and ages . infact ive had a prefernce for older indian men of more recent years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thinkt he fact that indian men genreally do look ugly is not because they’re born like that. I mean, I live in the U.K. am 1/2 indian and can see that Indian men in India are really not that great to look that. But when I look at them, i can’t help but wonder, maybe if they shaved off their moustache, worked out a little, and most important of all GET A DECENT HAIRCUT. I just dont understand it, Indian men all over the world are under some insane impression that cutting their hair in a specific way will make them cool. in India it’s the ridciulous slicked back look, in teh U.K. it seems to shave your head and spike it up. I mean, it’s absurd. people Have different head shapes, different faces, different haircuts therefore suit different people. I dont udnerstand, and it reall bothers me. Indian men for example are blessed with usually really thick hair, they could do all sorts with it. But I rarely see one who has thought about what actually suits him, instead they go for whatever’s cool. It’s SO ANNOYING. Wasted potential.

Yes, I am Indian and I am sick of ugly Indian men. The newer generation of males are a bit more conscious though but the men in their 30s and 40s are just pathetic. They expect their wives look like Aishwarya Rai while they continue to look like crap.

I think it is a stupid thing to put yourself down. It looks like you are doing that. Not all indian women are beautiful – we all know that. Only the ones on tv, and some few ones we might see once in a while. And not all indian men are ugly. A lot of them actually have started to care about the way the look, go the gym regularly, eat healthy, etc. Indians in general are poorer and have a lower protein diet than in the west, looking good is not a top priority for them – feeding your belly and earning money is. This is the sub conscious mindset indian men are brought up in- that its not how you look that matters but how much you earn. whereas women arent u, under the same pressure as men in this dept so focus more on looks. however, as india gets richer this mindset will change and the entire popn will get better looking.

Vast majority of Indian women/girls I see in colleges, shops, libraries, roads, neighbourhoods, etc. are beautiful. Many of them are truly gorgeous, small face, tiny nose, full lips, big eyes; whats now to like? I agree that Indian men look average and compared to average Indian women they look worse and look even worst by their aforementioned habits.

It is a well known fact that we Indian girls always loved our men,their looks,their personality,their attitude and everything else.Even if it is an arranged marriage,Indian girls love the fact that they are marrying an Indian man.

Ask Indian girls which men they prefer and the majority will tell ya that they prefer marry Indian men.Only a few will say they will go for men from other countries,usually cuz some of them assume many wrong things about them.

There are obviously some Indian men with some annoying and irritating habits but that also does not stop their women from loving cuz they will make up for that with other really cute stuff that Indian women love and which they cannot find in men from other places.

And the some ugly men in India also have happy wives cuz even if they don’t look they prolly have a really sweet personality and show great love and affection for their women.

And in the end Indian men know exactly how to make their women happy which other people dont know and are totally clueless about.They do it in their own special way which others dont understand.

I have never come across any Indian woman who has such high praise for Indian men.

Most Indian women have a very practical and realistic attitude towards members of the opposite sex.

They know, that in a patriarchal society like India, just the biological fact of being born male is enough and more.

They know better than to expect their husbands to be caring and sensitive New Age men, who are fabulous lovers and caring companions.

The vast majority of India lives in villages.

Most rural women are happy if their men earn a responsible, honest living, stay sober, and desist from using physical force to enforce their “husbandly privileges”.

The question of women finding men unattractive does not arise in a society where men have a disproportionate amount of power and privilege, one in which women learn early on to please and obey male elders unquestioningly.

Most consider themselves lucky if their men treat them with a modicum of respect and consideration every now and then.

Im a British Indian male and I totally agree with most the women’s comments on this thread. Most Indian men are simply ugly & nothing special, and miles behind fashion and taste. I mean what is this business of growing a gay-like goatie & linking them to their side burns? Also whats with the spikey hedgehog look & also the tinted “Posh Spice” sunglasses they wear? Indian/Asian men that reside in the UK are 10 years behind in personal style & fashion. Its no wonder most of them all copy each other. They mostly all drive BMW M3’s, Mercedes E-Types, or Audi A4’s lol. Plus their chatup lines are extremely cheesy and horrendous. And whats with this “bad boy talk” persona. Shaving your head is only going to get you far as a scuffle with another guy in a bar or nightclub. Indian men lack in general knowledge, as well as general common sense. Also whats with the “innit, safe man, allow that man” – gibberish? lol

The reason why I express my comments on this forum because I am unique and proud to be unique. I drive an exotic car beknown to most Indians out there. I dress trendy. My girfriend is attractive and white and I adore her so much. I dont wear Armani or Gucci clothes. I wear exotic leather/stingray boots. I wear fitted shirts, nice jeans, aftershave that most Indian men wouldnt even think of wearing. Im curteous, polite, well spoken. I style my hair great – not with excessive gel! And before you moronic Asian men pounce on me to say I act like a white man – wrong! Im proud of my background, and so who cares if my accent is London Cockney?! Neither am I ugly (I bless my Mum for the hot looks).

Girls, I praise you for your constructive opnions. Indian/Asian Men have a lot to learn.

I am a persian man originally from Iran but I have lived for just a few years in India (Mumbai) and I have to say hands down indian men are ugly on average and there could be many reasons for that but here is my opinion – when a beautiful looking indian girl marries an average looking indian man (for whatever the reasons) their offspring will generally be mediocre in looks and this trend just keeps going on in a society that supports this kind of pattern; and to make matters worse they go forth and multiply exponentially creating a race and country where a big percentage will have these mediocrity. I think its time the parents realize this and make wiser choices. Since the indian culture practices arranged marriages the parents of the girl should not be greedy and avaricious for a rich but ugly indian man, they need to learn to sacrifice for the future generation.

When an average indian man marries a gorgeous indian gal its just not right, its sort of like eating icecream and chicken vindaloo at the same time (doesnt match) – this should be simple common understanding.

Our men may nothing to boast about, our Indian women are the best in beauty in the world. So obv. there’s going to many unbalanced marriages of gorgeous indian girl and ugly/average dude. But this same thing has been going for millenias and our girls and women look better and better, while our men just OK; so I don’t see what’s to worry about! Opposite in your native of Iran, where frankly most Iranian women look barely just OK, while the men look slightly better and wide scale population’s beauty is stagnant. And you’re a Irooni brother who lived in Mumbai, really?

anyways i read all the comments above!!! i really don understand who r those people who is commenting about indian men?? i am an indian gal.. and yes i am not bad lookin!! and i prefer indian men… any body above kno wat was indian culture be4 a centuary??? why the use tobacco?? as a fact it was thr custom n only rich cud do that in the past!!! so leave the men in 50’s.. and indian roads??? u kno wats indian politics!!???and laws???please go through that once… and another thing india is not a developed country but developing much faster than all devloped countries…
how many of the men in other countries can come to india and settle down??indians are adjustble anywhere in the world from the best to the worst!!! and i havv seen many nice indian guys of my age whor metrosexuals and attractive!!!
i can agree vd one thing right now good options are less for indian gals… but its always gettin better… and leave the dada n uncles fromthr old habits!! they cant change so stop criticizing…

Hi there, I’m not an Indian male. In fact, I’m quite the opposite – being a young white woman from Australia. This was a very interesting article, and even more interesting are the responses.

I do have to say that when I rode the train into Melbourne for work each day and night, there were some Indian men who would snort, cough and blow their noses straight into their hands. Some would leer at you, and rub up against the female passengers. Most of them were professionals, wearing suits or business attire.

However, is this any different to the white men who do the same thing? Given, most of them won’t be wearing suits or on their way to work; they’ll be unemployed ‘bogans’.

I’ve had the pleasure of working with some fine Indian men who were absolutely lovely (and handsome!), however I believe that some of the men who are displaying poor manners are encouraging this myth of ‘Indian men are disgusting’.

Hopefully, most people realise that there are indeed disgusting individuals within every race and every culture on earth, but it doesn’t mean we should condemn an entire county and it’s inhabitants as a result.

I am a white woman married to an Indian man for a very long time. He was so good looking, had lots of girls looking at him. But beauty fades in us all. His brothers not so good looking although he thinks he is! Full of self confidence for nothing. They don’t age very well. Don’t know how to look after themselves like taking time to style their hair properly when it thins etc. His brother is fat unhealthy and divorced ( I guess his wife lost interest) he’s arrogant cause he’s got money to everyone… Now married some poor girl half his age cause she was desperate to marry anyone who would take her as she has a child and is also divorced, and not that great looking. He acts like a child and at 46 still calls his brother if his kids are playing up or his wife is doing this and that. I wish they learn that at some point you need to grow up. He was so busy showing of the fact he’d remarried ( his ex couldn’t give a monkeys… She’s got out) that he failed to see that he’s fat unhealthy and new wife already reaping the benefits of an ill over weight moody selfish git… Now diagnosed with a heart problem…. Kama……..