The Boston Red Sox: Defenders of the 2004 World Championship!! "Whoever plunges into his experiences with the momentum of hope, will remember so that he cannot forget." - Soren Kierkegaard.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Okay, now I'm starting to get pissed off.
Which team is the real Red Sox? The team that had the smoking-hot April/August, or the .500 cluster-fuck team of June/July that appears to be making a "comeback," if that's what one could call it. This team is like Jeckyll and fucking Hyde - get an identity already.
One good thing about last night is that at least the offense didn't drop the soap in the shower and managed to manufacture some runs, but with Wayback Wakefield on the mound it seems like the offense has it's work set out for it pretty much from the get-go. Unless there is a fucking shoot-out like the one in Detroit (10 or 11 homeruns combined,) the Sox are virtually guaranteed a loss when Wakefield is pitching.
There are some players that suck so bad or do such stupid shit that I pray that I meet them in the street one day or chance upon their cellphone number so that I can tell them how pissed off I am and how much agony they have caused me (um, Byung Hyun Kim comes immediately to mind, Terry Francona, Dale Sveum, Gabe Kapler on more than one occassion.) Tim Wakefield is the only player who routinely makes me stick my wallet in my mouth to keep from swallowing my own tongue whom I wouldn't accost in the street. I guess I feel kind of protective of him because of that whole walk-off-homer thing last October...or maybe because he's kind of older and he's been a Red Sox for a long time and I'm just an emotional punching bag for the "nice guys" on the team. But Jesus Christ - why does he suck so bad this year???I mean, goddamnit Wakefield!

Conversation in my living room last night: (Stop me if you've heard this one before,)
Me: Hey, Wakefield gave up a grand slam tonight.
Mike: Another one?!?

Yeah. Another one. What the fuck is Francona thinking leaving this guy in the game so long? I mean, is Wakefield on like a run count instead of a pitch count? Most guys it's like "Well, he's up to around 109 pitches, we should start to think about warming the bullpen up." With Wakefield Terry must be thinking "Well, he's only given up four runs, lets wait until he's got at least six on the board before we start to warm the bullpen up. The offense can make up the difference, right Brad? I mean, who's this rookie no-name on the mound? Surely a lineup like ours can make hay off of this puny little pipsqueak, right? Am I right, Brad? Just because it's the fifth inning and our team has yet to make it past second base, we're not in trouble. Nope. No sir-eeee-bob - whoopsie! There goes a three-run homer! Alright, Dave, go out there and give Tim a good talking-to. I'm going to just sit tight here and have a fucking stroke along with about 600,000 fans."
I weathered the Yankees series fine. But now I'm starting to get pissed off, and the stupid thing is that I knew it was going to go down like this with the Orioles. Maybe they'll prove me wrong, maybe the Sox will goddamn grow a pair and stop playing the Baltimore Orioles like a bunch of 75-year old nuns. I can take some losses to the Yankees in stride. But the Orioles?And Manny, could you swing at another fucking first pitch?
::Insert exasperated silence here::