Friday, 25 January 2013

I have not been to L.A. since I had a big big nervous breakdown here many moons ago. So I'm here doing my show"Out of Her Mind" (ironic) I thought on the first night I'd just start screaming "Please don't make audition for a sit com" and be re-traumatised. All those years ago I came here all bright and bushy tailed and went back to the UK in a box. I couldn't cope then everyone was "having a nice day" even the weather was always in a good mood so I went darker and darker until I took to my bed and could not be peeled from it for 8 months. I knew I was in big trouble when I started to think "Love Boat" which was on 7 times a day was a really good show. Everything I did here and everyone I met was toxic. I lived in a falllng down house on Laural Canyon where a move star who didn't make it (Helen Twelvetrees) killed herself. Her statue in stone was lying on the bottom of the pool and no one bothered to fish it out. The house was run by a guy the size of the Titanic who did light porn and his Christian wife. Another house mate was a guy who never left his room but chuckled loudly at his own lines as he wrote his film script that would never be made, ever. And some flower child who skipped alot and once asked me if it was bad to be raped on a first date. I ended up taking a shorthand course so I could become a secretary to get out of that constant and irritating sunlight. I sat there for six weeks in a night class. At the end we had a test to check our competency. The teacher rang the bell and we all had to take down shorthand and then hand it in. A few days later she called me in and asked what I thought I was doing. I had handed her pages and pages of swirls on the page. Just loop de loops that's how crazy I got. And now I'm' here for closure.