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Topic: Porn (Read 1161 times)

I have a husband who is a non-Christian and addicted to porn. When I confront him about it, he becomes angry and tells me "I am not his mother and quit trying to control me." However, he keeps trying to get close to me in a conjugal way, but I feel so disrespected and hurt, that I have no feelings for him in that way. I do love him and we get along in all other ways, but that part of our relationship to me is dead. I don't know why I am saying this on here except that there is no one else I can talk to about it. I am embarrassed and hurt.

Have any of you ever had to deal with this sinfulness on the part of your spouse? And how did you handle it?

Christian Forums and Message Board

A lady I know got so fed up with her husband's porn us that she gave him an ultimatum. The porn or me. She was determined to leave if he refused to stop. Guess what, after many years of porn use he stopped just like that. I do think that too many women sort of enable this by not standing up against it. You must mean it though. He will know if you are just saying it.

Were you aware of the porn use when you get married?

I see it as adultery, it certainly is Biblically, I wouldn't put up with it at all. Its evil and damaging and ruins lives and marriages. The ONLY way the marriage can be saved is if he stops and focuses all of his sexual energies and thoughts on you.

In the end the choice is yours. Tell him that you will not put up with the terrible way he is treating you any longer, and give him a choice. If he chooses the porn then that shows where his loyalties lie.

Tell him you aren't going to try and control him any more. He knows how deeply this hurts and disrespects you and makes you feel as if he is using you to be a sex toy, and yet, continues to settle for so far less than what he, you and your relationship is worth, so its clear what he wants from you.

Then tell him, "Thats not good enough for me. I am worth more than this, *you* are worth more than this, but *I* will not subject myself to this disrespect any longer. *you* can continue to submit to an industry that mocks and belittles you and laughs at you rather than cherishes your sexuality, but I will not. Do what you wish. I will do what I wish and I do not wish to be your plastic sex toy. When you are done settling for a lie and then thinking its up to me to "help" what that sick, twisted stuff has stirred up in you, I will be available to you. I *hope* you are able to be healed from this horrible blindness that has taken us over, but I can't force you to see what you don't want to. I love you and want a relationship with you; one that is built on mutual respect and dignity...this isn't it."

Christian Forums and Message Board

Hi @Layceers I just wanted to encourage you today that you are worthy of true love that is respectful of your feelings. I understand how hurtful it must be that your husband has decided on this path and is oblivious to the damage he is causing to your marriage and even to himself. In my case, it took time, prayer and the merciful intervention of God in my marriage to bring about a turn around in my husband's life. A wonderful Christian mentor came alongside us and counseled my husband and myself through this journey. I also found some valuable resources on here that you might find useful too as you navigate this season in your marriage. Do remember no one is too far away that God cannot touch.