Men with Strollers

I hear a lot of “family values” talk floating across the ocean, which is interesting while living abroad in a country that is actually much more child-friendly than the United States. This entry begins with a real shocker. In fierce competition with its other Scandinavian friends (or rivals), Sweden boasts one of the lowest child poverty rates in the world at 3.6 percent. By contrast, the child poverty rate in the United States is… 21.7 percent. Yes, really.

There is a reason why Scandinavia has higher fertility rates than countries farther south on the continent struggling with aging millions and emptying cities  they have worked hard to craft a child-friendly culture. Superficially it’s everywhere. Playgrounds abound and even the posh Gothenburg airport has play areas in each impeccably designed terminal click here. The symbol that distinguishes walking paths from bike paths is a daily reminder. It’s an adult and child walking together, holding hands click here.

Symbolic gestures like these can go far in maintaining a mindset, but at the heart of Sweden’s success is policy. Parenting leaves (mostly reimbursed at 80% salary), childcare, and healthcare are universal, regardless of where you live or work. I say “parenting leave” rather than “maternity leave” because it is just that  there are built-in incentives for men and women to share the burden of childcare equally. Working parents are supported by very low cost (and very high quality) state-run childcare, after-school programs that make the school day coincide with the work day, and generous allowances for time off to care for sick children  also paid at 80% of one’s income. This is only a smattering of how it all works, but a telling one at that. A future post on the general system may clear up more questions about poverty, employment, etc.

A few weeks ago we were in Stockholm meeting other American academic grantees and ended up in a lot of conversations comparing the two countries. I was talking to another woman about the joys of big city living without constant cat-calls, quite a novelty for American women, and talk turned to a sense of more overall gender equality. “You know what I think is so great?” I said. “All the men I see…” “WITH STROLLERS!” we exclaimed in unison. It’s common to see a couple of macho dudes with scruffy beards and puffy jackets walking down the street together with their babies, or having coffee while holding wriggling toddlers. These men are not rogue pillars of feminism because the idea of equality here simply isn’t that radical. It’s normalized. What is so emasculating about sharing household responsibilities and being present as a father? We can talk all we want about these ideals in the U.S., but they will never materialize unless we structure them into the system, just like in Sweden. This is what I call family values.