Six Great Stories You May Have Missed Last Week

My writing staff and I have combed through hundreds of news stories preparing for this week's Mercury-sponsored Late Night Action. We can't fit all of them into the monologue, so here are our favorite 6 stories that you may have missed (with jokes!).

The Portland Police announced plans to carry out a sting on dogs pooping in parks. The chief of police promised that this is an important case utilizing Portland’s best men, and totally not a way to punish Officer Steve for being a dick at last year’s Christmas party. The sting is also the latest in a series of attempts to make local officials say "poop" a lot more. Whenever I hear people say that Portland's a big city I wonder how often The New York Times or LA Times write stories about dog poop, because the Oregonian does it quite a lot.