Nursing home social worker giving my mother false hope... my mother has gone into a nursing facility recently she's not adjusting well she cries they put her on Xanax she has moderate dementia she can walk around with a seated walker of which she has to sit down quite often as she grows weaker..every time she's been home she sits in a recliner wanting to b waited on hand/foot.. refuses to go to the bathroom and it is a constant battle to get her up to even walk around..it got to where I even would put her bowl of nightly ice cream on dining room table and tell her it was there but she had to get it just to get her up so she would walk from liv room to din room and back to her chair..when she is home and has home health she does what I ask her to and tells them when they leave she's no longer doing the exercises and when she has been in rehab the last four times she does the same thing doesn't happen there to get home then comes home and it all starts all over again to where she get so weak can't walk is up there again so this time the route rest home a thing as permanent when she is home and has home health she does what I ask her to and tells them when they leave she's no longer doing the exercises and when she has been in rehab the last four times she does the same thing doesn't happen there to get home then comes home and it all starts all over again to where she get so weak can't walk is up there again so this time the route rest home a thing as permanent.... my sister and I kept telling her that eventually our bodies would where else and we would no longer be able to care for her and she would have to go to the nursing home if she did not move and try to get around she would end up permanently in the rest home as mine and my sisters bodies would wear down ..she said oh you're just threatening me and I said no mom I love you but that's what will happen..last time she fell and fractured her back and she went back to the nursing home the last time and now is permanently in there unable to live on her own her doctor says she has to have someone with her health care 24 seven there is a social worker social there who my mother continually aggravates on a daily basis at first wanting to know when she was going to get a roommate as she started out being in a private rehab room now she's in the semi private with an older lady says woman keeps light on and room too hot and coughs all nite etc. etc. this social worker is giving my mother false hope telling her she can transition from the nursing home to independent living he says she can have Meals on wheels and different people come in to do her cooking cleaning give meds(which she needs 3x day)even though she she is in continent and cannot get her depends pulled up she has bowel movements and cannot clean herself and the problem persists done this for years just continually worse.. I am her POA she was told I'm supposing by the social worker that she can remove me from being a POA i told her that she will have to make decisions on her own with no help from me if she does this...my sisters told her the same thing as my sister Isaid she could no longer help with my mom at all (after keeping her for 4 days) and I cannot do it on my own either so long story short anyone ever have problems with the social worker giving their parents false hope when you know even with Medicaid and Medicare she will not be able to have 24 seven care as she has to have so where do you go from here??? She seems to be having what they call show timers and I'm sure to most people there that don't really realize my mother situation she appears normal even the physical therapy came in after her first visit with him and said I think she needs to be in assisted-living right in front of my mother I told him don't you think that was our first option that we checked on she does not have 3 to 5000 hey Murph to pay to assisted living and we do not have the money to make up the difference from her check and what they charge and he gotten trouble for telling me and my mother that she belonged in assisted living wondering if I should talk to the social worker's boss to see why he is telling my mother this stuff he even gave her papers about transitioning that I found in her seeded walker I don't know if he is just trying to calm her down and make her feel better or what the situation is

2 Answers

I agree. I would confirm what is actually being said to your mother. Often people who have dementia don't remember what is said or they may recall it differently. They aren't intentionally misreporting the information, but, their memory is not working properly anymore.

If your mom's needs costs more than what she is able to afford, I'd explore her options, including Medicaid programs in your jurisdiction for the disabled and/or dementia patients.

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