I Lost a Rhinoceros

Drew’s dude, his go-to guy, his sleep buddy Rocco the Rhinoceros, is gone. Somehow from the hotel back east, to home, he’s gone completely missing. I’ve ripped the house apart, gone through all of the bags, called the hotel and still… nothing.

This is bad.

Rocco has been the Big Kid’s favorite since he was only a few months old. He originally had a pacifier stuck to his head, but when we determined that it was actually causing more annoyance than soothing we ripped that thing off and he just became his best buddy. Rocco went everywhere with him, to Grandmas, to San Diego, back East 4 separate times and we never ever lost him. We might have misplaced him a few times in our house, but after hysterical freaking out by the Big Kid we eventually found him. Seriously, there were days that I wanted to duct tape him to the kid, just to make sure that we didn’t lose him for naps or bedtime.

He was well-loved, a little ratty around the edges, seams showing in some places, but still awesome, amazing Rocco, the soother of all pains. He was a little bit like the Velveteen Rabbit, a little tattered, a little torn, but still loved beyond all the toys.

And now, he’s nowhere to be found.

I will admit, that I’m a little panicky that we can’t find him. I keep thinking of him, stuffed under an airplane seat, or at the bottom of a pile of lost and found items somewhere and it makes me sad. I’m also at a loss because the company that made them, Pacimals, has gone out of business. So do you think I can even find a damn replacement? Nope.

The other thing that makes me sad? The Big Kid isn’t as upset as I am.

He’s taken this all in stride, not even really noticing that he hasn’t slept with his friend in weeks. When I ask him where he might be, he shrugs, tells me he thinks he’s in his room somewhere and then grabs another toy to snuggle with in bed.

“BUT DUDE, THIS IS ROCCO”, I want to yell. The rhinoceros who snuggled with you through sickness and in health, through sad and happy times, through airplane trips and car trips, was snotted and puked on, hugged and thrown around the house. “WHY DON’T YOU CARE???”

Gulp.

Maybe because he’s growing up? Maybe because the Big Kid is getting to the point where he doesn’t need the security lovie anymore and doesn’t need anything to help him sleep through the night? Because he’s becoming a true Big Kid and not my baby anymore?

It feels too soon to lose that part of him, too soon to let him grow up into the land of Too Cool and Too Big. I’m not ready to let go of that part of him, the baby that clung to that adorable blue rhinoceros. I’m just not ready.

And so I’m gonna search like CRAZY until I find that damn thing so I can hold on a little bit longer to my baby.

Comments

Ooooooh I know this pain all too well. My almost SIX year old has a lamb. (Of course she would pick something WHITE to latch onto, not poop brown or black that wouldn’t show stains….) It has been lost, sent to Afghanistan for photos with Daddy…Let me tell you, that was an AGONIZING few weeks. Daddy drove 4 hours round trip when we figured out he had been left under a picnic table. Unfortunately she still obsesses over the darn thing. I have sewed it and restuffed it more times than I can count. I’m convinced it’s going to college with her!

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Oh the difference a few years makes... Where once I was a professional event planner and fundraiser in beautiful Southern CA, now I am a full time SAHM in a gorgeous-in-it's-own-way, semi-rural cow town in Sonoma County. Hey at least they have wine, right?
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