eBay (pig latin for be) is a popular website available on the Internets. It was founded in 1919 by Jesus as a method for a peasant to auction a window with the image of the Virgin Mary, although then eBay used local telegraph networks, a crude electrical system.

People use eBay for exquisite auctions for such hard-to-find items as angel figurines, gently used pornography, bootleg Red Dwarf tapes, Doctor Who apparel, kidneys, stolen electronics, and belly button lint. If one wishes to sell their soul on eBay, they should consult the obscure 2001 classic, the Bible, which states that it is perfectly O.K. as long as you inform the buyer about persons you (THEY) owe money to.

A typical eBay scam, (known as 'aripofus') involves an honest bidder being continuously outbid by a shill (fellow eBay user) until the shill backs outat the last minute, at which point it is offered to the honest bidder at a ridiculously inflated price. A small shipping and handling charge (typically 900-11,200% of the bid price) is usually added to mail the worthless item to the buyer. The shipping fee is necessary to cover the cost of the seller roughly jamming the item into an envelope.

eBay users may leave feedback for one another. Feedback offers users the opportunity to insult each other, and sometimes, even worse. eBay users take feedback as seriously as most people would take a direct communication with God or Oscar Wilde.

eBay is frequently cited as one of the major causes of the great Internet Crash of 1864, where extremist Muslim groups staged an attack on the internet, where large numbers of communication tubes were simultaneously filled with Jihad Joes in an attempt to halt what they saw as indecent, ungodly and immoral. Since this period of attacks, most parts of the internet have now been restored thanks to donations of computer hardware donated by those who rely on the internet for free pornography.

NOTE I AM NOT SELLING AN ACTUAL ARTICLE. YOU ARE BIDDING FOR A LINK TO AN ARTICLE