#Miscellaneous

HBO is throwing some serious weight behind its upcoming sci-western, Westworld. It’s got itself a serious fucking cast, big name creatives behind the project (Johnny Nolan, Abrams), and an order for a full season. And if that ain’t enough, it’s got itself a weird viral marketing campaign. Which goes together with J.J. Abrams like peas and poorly-executed mystery box reveals.

Okay, Blizzard. You got my attention. I was waving used toilet paper dismissively in the way of this year’s Blizzcon. But then you dropped this dope reveal. Overwatch. A team-based multiplayer shooter with pizazz, elements from the cancelled MMO Titan, and heroics and shit.

I wish you could understand how much finding out the official title for Episode VII means to me. I am a Star Wars dick-lord fawning fanboy. Who never thought he’d seen another Star Wars, let alone one which may actually be good. It ain’t even about the title itself. It’s the function the title serves. An obvious reminder that gets my balls a-twitter. This movie is real.

Ryan Gosling’s cinematic Best Friend is getting ready to begin filming his next jam. It’s a female-led horror flick called The Neon Demon. Don’t worry, Nicky. I got the tagline for this shit. “From Neon Noir to the NEON DEMON comes the new film from Ryan Gosling’s Cinematic Best Friend!!!” I’m pretty much a genius marketer.

Pretty fucking killer. That artistic tablet company place, Wacom, is dropping a free digital anthology. Usually I’m all like “Free?!” and then I don’t get excited because I only feel validated when I spend my hard earned Imperial credits. But fuck. Wacom has stacked the deck with some filthy talent on this giveaway.

I haven’t enjoyed (or more specifically, read) Spawn for like…half a lifetime. Literally. I’m thirty-one. I fucking worshipped it when I was probably fifteen. But man. When I loved that comic, I fucking *loved* it. Same goes for Sam and Twitch when Bendis was penning it. But yeah. Like. Half a life has passed and the question has been, “what could ever get me to read the title again?” I’ve found the answer. Brian Wood.

A summer rumor has become an autumn fact. Fantastic Four is getting cancelled, taking the First Family out of the Marvel Universe. The rumor had it that Marvel was doing so in order to malign Fox, who owns the movie rights over them. And while I imagine The Foursome will return (conveniently after the movie push is over), this is forty-four shades of fucking dumb.

Man! I don’t have a fucking record player! Which I know totally cuts me down like three-thousand points in some people’s eyes. SORRY BRO, I’M CYBERNETIC. I LISTEN TO MY DEATH METAL THROUGH A ZUNE I HAVE HAD IMPLANTED IN THE UPPER CORNERS OF MY ANUS. CO-ANUS-IAL CABLE. Oh God I hate myself. What the fuck am I even saying? Uh — right.

Anyways. Mondo is continuing to release dope-ass collectible comic book vinyls, this time with an Awesome Mix.

So like. Jupiter Ascending. It can’t be conventionally good, can it? (Whatever the fuck that means.) But something tells me that the goddamn insane hodgepodge of science-fiction visuals, Wachowskian action, and Channing Tatum with a tail is going to sell me on this movie. Somehow. Somehow!