May, 2009

Sean Sherk’s last two fights against B.J. Penn and Tyson Griffin respectively have seen him trying to reinvent himself as more of a boxer than the one-dimensional wrestler we’ve come to know and tolerate. But will he really stick with that approach against Frankie Edgar who, as you can see, has some decent hands of his own? Current Vegas odds have Sherk as slightly better than a 2-1 favorite, which makes sense if you think about the way he’s outwrestled opponents like Hermes Franca and Kenny Florian, and then compare it to the way Edgar was flat out dominated on the mat by Gray Maynard.

But if Sherk gets caught up trying to please the fans and placate the people who say he can’t finish fights and isn’t entertaining to watch, he’s rolling the dice. So which Sherk will we see on Saturday — the boxer or the wrestler? And will it matter?

After the jump:Steve Cofield raps with Rashad about poor fighter hygiene and Lyoto’s pee-drinking habit. Evans kind of suggests that they should test Lyoto’s urine for urine; he also admits that he manscapes. Also: An uncomfortable shirtless interview with Matt Hughes.

Sorry for missing last week’s blog. I have been traveling a lot and haven’t had the chance to sit down and write much.

"Parce!" The name turns my stomach. Honestly, I can’t believe that I have to continuously see this wretch on TV and write about him. He certainly has received his fifteen minutes. And hopefully after this I don’t have to waste the oxygen in my lungs to speak about the cantankerous fellow, or the typing power in my fingers to peck away at my keyboard, giving him any more notoriety than he has already stolen from every other deserving member on the show.

"Parce" (that is "Pierce" said with a British accent) came from a day when all of the Americans were playing pool together except him. Yes, even Jason "I bang my head against the wall" Dent was kickin’ it with the team. I decided that even though there was much disdain toward the fellow, I would invite him to come down to join our dysfunctional group. I yelled to Pierce, who was upstairs at the time, to come down and play pool with us. I called and called, but was not answered. Then it hit me! I turned to the other guys and said, "Oh, he can’t understand me." Then I started yelling in a British accent (a poor one at that) "Parce! Come down here good chap. Parce!" Looking back at the guys I explained that he could only understand words if spoken like a Brit. So that’s how that whole thing got started.

Here at Cage Potato we value all of our loyal readers, but we value the ones who are at least semi-famous just a little bit more. One such reader, as you probably know, is Bruce Buffer. Today The Buff turns fifty and we would like to congratulate him on not only living this long, which neither one of us really expects to do, but also holding down a pretty sweet job all this time without getting fired for drinking too much or stealing microphones, which both of us would have done by now.

Happy birthday, Bruce. The Buffer Turn has done more to change the nature of ring announcing than any other single innovation, with the possible exceptions of electricity and language itself. And if you don’t believe that The Buff is one of the sport’s most enthusiastic and passionate fans, well, you should really see what’s after the jump.

(‘I come only to drink my own urine and win decisions. And I am all out of urine for at least the next hour.’)

It’s….time! Here we go again, arguing over UFC 98′s most compelling, pre-packaged storylines and making oblique reference to awesome internet videos we’ve wasted our time watching lately. Just so you know what you’re in for. And so it begins…

BG: According to Jackson camp trainer Mike Winklejohn, Evans’s gameplan will involve countering Machida’s counters. But come on — do you really think Machida hasn’t been working on countering counters to his counters? (Don’t read that sentence while standing between two mirrors or your head will explode.) To be honest, we don’t know what works against Machida. We know what results in utter failure, and that’s trying to strike with him; if Evans is seriously planning on beating Machida in a point-karate match, he’s fucked.

Because of his elusiveness and competent takedown defense, Lyoto Machida hasn’t spent much time on his back during his career. But don’t forget, Evans is a fearsome wrestler. And as much as I hate watching this strategy in action, a boring lay-n-pray decision is Rashad’s best shot at keeping his belt. He just needs to borrow Clay Guida’s “Energizer Blanket” approach — shoot and get stuffed, shoot and get stuffed, shoot and score the takedown, lay on top until Machida escapes or the ref orders a stand-up, repeat as necessary, and win an unsatisfying decision without inflicting any real damage. Yes, it would be ugly, and the fans would be livid. I’d much rather see Machida ghost-ride Evans’s ass with punches and foot-sweeps until Sugar has a nervous breakdown on the stool between the fourth and fifth rounds. But hell, you asked for an answer and I gave you one.

BF: Impregnable defense, I’ll give that much to Machida. But ‘impetuous’ in this sense means marked by an impatient, impulsive force or violence. Does that sound like Machida to you? He’s more like impregnable defense and indifferent style. Whether he finishes you or not is of little consequence to him. The guy can wait all night for a victory, and he has. But on to the question at hand.

Affliction’s third event, featuring a main event of Fedor Emelianenko vs. Josh Barnett and taking place at the Honda Center in Anaheim, Calif., on August 1, should be officially announced within days, a source with knowledge of the situation told FanHouse. Though neither Emelianenko or Barnett has signed official bout agreements, they have both verbally accepted the matchup, according to the source…

Last night, doe-eyed heartthrob Kris Allen pulled out a stunning victory over scream-queen Adam Lambert to become 2009′s American Idol. The two-hour-plus finale broadcast included guest performances by Kiss, Carlos Santana, Cyndi Lauper, Brian May/Roger Taylor, and a near-death Rod Stewart, and Kara DioGuardi ripped her clothes off for charity, which was fucking epic (I know, I’m sorry), and my God that woman is like the new Elaine Benes, and I mean that in the best possible way.

Directly after, on a fledgling cable channel called Spiked Television (I think?), there was a new reality show about what happens when 16 guys who live together in a house stop being polite and start getting real. Half of them had strange accents, and a fight broke out at the end.

Brown reportedly decided to nurse some nagging injuries rather than fighting a late replacement, and you really can’t blame him. Who knows, maybe the bout will still happen a little ways down the road. It just seems too good not to.

Here’s how you know your MMA rap video is off to a really bad start: you inform us that you are “here with the crew,” and when you glance over your left shoulder to indicate said crew there’s Spencer Pratt from MTV’s pseudo-reality show/vehicle for vapid rich kids, “The Hills.” Great idea there, Kevin Casey. Honestly, no matter what comes after that, and no matter how many highlights you show from the fight with “Minowaman” that you lost via TKO, your video is already screwed. I’m not saying that maybe DMX didn’t have a dorky white friend at some point in his history, but when it came time to make a video of a bunch of dudes looking hard and mugging for the camera he was smart enough to give that friend a job behind the scenes.

After the jump, Matt Hughes heads to Minnesota to try some of that wacky caveman training Sean Sherk is always talking about.

Assemblyman Jonathan Bing, a Democrat representing the county of New York, will present the arguments in favor of the bill. Assemblyman Bob Reilly [Ed. note: Boooooo!], a Democrat representing Albany and Saratoga counties, will present the arguments opposing the bill. Mr. Reilly has been a vocal critic of the sport and last month released a document to committee members that outlined his arguments against legalizing the sport.