My (mostly) self-proclaimed title of “writer” is just general enough for people to think I get paid to do something cooler than sit in a padded grey cubicle all day, but also accurate enough for me to be able to recognize excellent writing when I see it. [Sidenote: I sit in a padded grey cubicle all day.] Homeland on Showtime is some of the best drama writing come to life. I tip my hat to their writing staff… if for no other reason than I would give my left leg and firstborn to join them. Not to be outdone, Claire Danes and Damian Lewis give performances that are pretty much a writer’s wet dream.

Last night’s episode, “Beirut is Back,” kept up the fast pace and heightened tension that makes Homeland so addicting. Carrie and Saul are still in Beirut, and Carrie goes rogue on their mission (surprise, surprise) by making contact with Fatima Ali to confirm that her husband was meeting Abu Nazir the following day, in the middle of town.

Remember that now-famous photo of President Obama, Secretary Clinton, Vice President Biden and watching the capture and kill of Osama bin Laden? Homeland re-created that moment by setting up a” Situation Room” viewing of the Special Ops in Beirut, as everyone waited with bated breath to see if Abu Nazir would in fact show up, in the middle of town, in the middle of the afternoon… setting himself up to be taken down. David “I Must Have A Tiny Penis” Estes isn’t convinced. Naturally, Vice President Walden has to further his bromance with Brody by inviting him into the Situation Room so he could see Abu Nazir–the man responsible for his capture and torture–killed first-hand.

So what does our favorite ginger adversary do? He texts Abu Nazir to warn him that American forces are lurking around, waiting to strike. (On a Blackberry, no less. You’re telling me that the Vice President’s favorite manfriend can’t get the iPhone 5? Bitch please.) Now I don’t know how realistic it is for a newbie Congressman to actually be sitting in the Situation Room during one of the most high-profile terrorist assassination attempts of all time, let alone whip his ancient cell-phone out and begin texting under the table while surrounded by several Joing Chiefs of Staff. But it made for really suspenseful, gripping television.

I can’t even talk about Saul watching the recorded confession of Brody’s suicide bomb speech at the end. Mainly because I was holding my breath for so long, I think I lost a few brain cells during that scene. But now Saul knows exactly what we’ve known all along: Carrie–our beloved, tortured, bi-polar but sharp-as-a-tack Carrie–isn’t nearly as crazy as he and everyone else previously believed. The only two things she’s crazy about are her responsibility to her country, and vegetable lasagna! Will Saul tell her what he knows? After her panic attack in Beirut, is she still too fragile to handle this news? Or is this news be the validation she desperately deserves?

The next six days between now and Sunday are going to kill me. Because I don’t have a life beyond television. And because I will have nothing to contribute to watercooler scuttlebutt until then.