Six Post Types that Will Make You a Social Media Jackass

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog post entitled Six Post Types that Will Make You a Social Media Badass. And while I think we can all agree that the world as a whole came together in peace and harmony for a few seconds in the moment it was unearthed from my brain and put onto the digital page, there was still something missing.

Something significant.

You see, even if you did everything I suggested and spent your days posting an onslaught of stuff that was educational, inspirational, conversational, promotional, professional and personal, you could still fail.

Miserably.

Not because the advice in that post doesn’t work. But because in addition, there is a whole bunch of stuff you should NOT post that we never talked about.

Until right now.

Political

I don’t know about you, but I feel like we are currently celebrating the twenty year anniversary of the 2016 election.

Enough already. We get it.

The current administration is comprised of a bunch of idiots. And the past administration is comprised of a bunch of idiots. The person who won is an idiot. And the person who lost is an idiot.

They are all idiots.

In fact, why don’t we just get this out of the way now and say that every political candidate moving forward is a complete idiot.

It’s just a lot easier. I feel like we can move on from this constant bickering over who has the bigger idiot.

Maybe then we will stop fighting about this nonsense and actually come together as a species and take care of each other instead of hoping the man or woman in the nice house with the giant fence around it is going to somehow be able to take care of every single one of us. Without a single complaint.

Sexual

I never really realized this one was that big of a problem. At least not until my 14 year old daughter began to invade Facebook.

It was bad enough that she took Snapchat and Instagram away from me. But Facebook too? Pretty soon all that is going to be left is Twitter and I’m already one of that last people still there.

So, now everything I read or post on Facebook is put through this filter in my brain called “will this make our dinner conversation awkward?”

I learned a few important lessons.

One. You guys are all a bunch of pervs! No, seriously! The innuendos and the flirting and the “too much information” that you guys share back and forth has turned a bunch of water cooler talk into an all out verbal orgy.

Two. Apparently, I’m just as bad! There have been several times in the past few months that I allowed a really good joke to die on the vine because I was mortified at the thought that my 14 year old daughter might read it.

No thanks. I have enough to deal with already.

Dysfunctional

Back when I was a kid there was this thing people had. It was called your internal monologue. The purpose of your internal monologue was to call everyone you know a jackass without actually saying it out loud.

It was actually quite useful. Especially in college.

Now, here we are an undisclosed number of years later and that same internal monologue has been given a microphone.

A very loud microphone.

And suddenly, this sacred internal dialogue which allowed us to call everyone in our lives a jackass at some point has been let loose and suddenly feels the need to share.

Often.

I have seen people get in full blown, back and forth, we-should-get-a-divorce style arguments. On their Facebook feed. With the world watching.

Look, the truth is that we watch this stuff in an effort to feel better about our own dysfunction we currently have on display. At least we’re not as bad as everyone else.

But not being as bad as everyone else is what is stopping us from cleaning up our own backyards.

Confrontational

Just so we’re clear. Whatever it is that has you all hot and bothered enough to fire up your thumbs and let the world have it on social media is a complete waste of your time.

You are not going to change anyone’s mind.

I promise.

The people who believe the opposite of you are going to continue to believe the opposite of you no matter what you say. And for the record, they are equally as stunned by your misinformed opinion as you are of theirs.

What I’m getting at here is that confronting the world on social media in a way that alienates everyone who doesn’t see life through the same lense as you is not going to get you anywhere.

Embrace people for their differences. As that is what makes us all different, unique and beautiful.

Or some crap like that.

Unethical

We’ll make this a short one since it’s pretty obvious.

Stop selling stuff that isn’t worthy of the people you are trying to sell it to. People.

That doesn’t mean you can’t sell something online. Just make sure it is valuable. Make sure that it is what you say it is. Make sure that you are serving those in your community and not taking from them.

It’s really quite simple.

Egotistical

We get it. You’re awesome. In fact, on a regular basis we all get together and give thanks to all that is holy for your existence.

And for choosing us.

Not just as your friends. But as the ones who get to live through this journey that is your life. With you.

It truly is a magical experience.

Now, with all of that said, if it’s time for you to “thin the herd” and get rid of some of your friends because of whatever awesome thing you seem to be up to, do it. It’s fine. You have our blessing.

Where you come across as a bit of a jackass is when you insist on telling us all about it.

We don’t really care. In fact, secretly many of us are hoping to make your cut list so we don’t have to bear witness to this again.

In this great big world, none of us are that important to warrant the threat of taking our existence away from others. If you aren’t connecting with certain people or you don’t like certain people or you only want to hang around with certain people, go do that.

But quietly remove them from your tribe. There’s no need to announce it to the world.

Don’t Get Me Wrong…

I’m not suggesting that you can’t be yourself online. One of the most beautiful things about social media is the opportunity to be human in this otherwise cold and digital world.

What I am saying is that if you can’t be yourself without being a political, confrontational, sexual, dysfunctional, unethical, egotistical jackass, then perhaps you shouldn’t be yourself.