I chronicle nonsense, mostly about the news, sometimes about pop culture. If you don't think it's nonsensical, then yell at me in the comments.

Monday, August 7, 2017

Colin Kaepernick Is Guilty of a 1931

Just so we’re clear, these are the things you can do and still play in the NFL:

Drive with a Suspended License (14601)

Hit and Run (20001, 20002a)/Reckless Driving (23103)

DUI (501, 502)

Disorderly Conduct (647) /Public Drunkenness (647F)

Drug possession (11351)

Unlawful Gun Possession (417)

Dog fighting (905A)

Domestic violence (273D)

Sexual assault (243.4, 261, 262, 288)

Assault (240) and Battery (242)

Do any of these things and you might get a suspension from playing. You might even have to miss a whole season.

Here’s a list of things you CANNOT do and still play in the NFL:

Take a knee during the national anthem.

Apparently taking a knee is more important a crime than women’s lives, dogs’ live, and anyone’s lives who were affected by a player’s aggressive drunkenness or poor driving skills. It is strange, because you’d think there would be a penal code number for it if it were so heinous. Would be a 1776? Maybe call it an 1812? 1814? Ooh, how about we call it a 1931? That’s when Congress decreed it be THE national anthem. Let that sink in: nearly 60 years AFTER the abolition of slavery, Congress passed a law to make a song that explicitly called for the deaths of black people who dared dream of freedom the National Anthem.

Regardless, Colin Kaepernick, The hardened criminal who maintained a 4.0 GPA through high school and college, who dominated in every sport he played throughout high school and college, who spent six years playing for the San Francisco 49ers, who spent millions of his own money supporting charities and schools throughout the world, threw it all away by taking a knee in peaceful protest of systematic racism and police brutality.

“How DARE he!” exclaimed people who were likely sitting in their Lay-Z-Boys stuffing nachos in their faces while the Anthem was playing. “How can he disrespect the veterans!? He should be locked up for treason!”A lot of veterans didn’t seem to mind, though.

The owners and execs had a big problem with Kaepernick, though. You’d think, though, that since he committed a 1931, the police would have arrested him. Instead, it seems his punishment is to not get hired anywhere. As of August 7th, Colin Kaepernick is still a free agent. I hope he learned his lesson. You can do a 501, a 243, a 262, a 14601, even a 905A, but Lord; help you if you do a 1931. So many people have been permanently scarred by a black man exercising his right to free speech in a public place. I know they claim that Kaepernick is just “not as good”, but some think thereare worse quarterbacks than Kaepernick, and it is telling that one teampulled a quarterback out of retirement rather than sign Kaepernick.

The owners, and everyone who has been rooting for Kaepernick’s unemployment at best, drawing and quartering at worst, needs to confront the fact that their only issue with Colin Kaepernick is that he is black and he dared to speak his mind. You cannot handle the truth of his statements, and it frightens you. Colin Kaepernick is going to be all right, no matter what. Since he wasn’t signed, I cannot fuck with the NFL this year. The organization does not give a damn about its players, only the money it can make. It doesn’t give a damn about its fans, and it definitely doesn’t give a damn about how its actions and inaction affect the welfare of its employees and the public. Why else would they underpay official cheerleaders? Why else would it pay so much to not acknowledge the effects of concussive hits? Why else would it STILL have a team named the “Redskins”? NFL execs would make an expansion team called the East St. Louis Niggers if they thought they could make a buck, with no regard for anyone except who handles their cash.

Tangentially related: Someone who tried to make an inane case for “reverse racism” said to me that “Racism and bigotry infect ALL of [us]”. That is the only part of his statement that is true. It DOES infect all of us. The only difference is that the side effects are more dire the darker you are, and they positive the lighter you are.