Hello Captain! Not sure if you can help me.

I do not know if you can help me, or perhaps you know who/how I can approach this...

I want to know what my energy sends out to others...I was born Aug. 21 1978 3:17pm, in Jamestown ND. What do you read from me, my future, souls purpose...I would really like to receive a past life regression or any information on my past, how it relates to my present and where it will lead me in the future. I have long felt....something, I struggle to explain, but it is significant and it has been with me as long as I can remember...I would appreciate any help or suggestions you may have. Thank you for your time.

DD, here is your reading. It covers your whole life and not just the present moment, so you may have already worked through some of the lessons and issues. Your life experiences may be good, bad or, most commonly, a mixture of both. But whatever your situation, you chose before you were born to experience certain life lessons that you needed to evolve and grow as an individual. After you were born, your choices and decisions were made to take you along the life path you had chosen earlier. The great news is that, once you understand that the seemingly ‘bad’ experiences you have undergone were of your own choice and making and have strengthened and educated you, you recognize your power as the creator of your own life. Then, you realize the necessity of the lessons you learned and no longer need to experience them.

From past lives, you have gained an inner awareness of the spiritual dimension of life and are attuned to the higher, beautiful realm of your own true immortal nature. You are extremely sensitive, easily wounded, and very careful to avoid causing pain to others. In fact, you are sometimes more aware of - and concerned about - other people's suffering than your own. You have spent many past lives in dissolution of the ego - through lifetimes of meditation and spiritual quests; drug and/or alcohol abuse; being shut away or confined in convents, prisons, or asylums with much time to reflect; and also losing yourself in music, poetry and art. In this lifetime, you must deal with the effects of such life lessons. It can be totally confusing for you now and you may still have some addictive tendencies that may once again be problematic for you and which you have to overcome from a spiritual perspective (like the 12 step program of AA etc.) Likely you will still have some talent/aesthetics remaining with poetry, music or art as a way of connecting with higher emotional states. You have had many ethereal experiences and incarnations in which you gave up bits and pieces of your identity in order to merge with a higher energy. But you have completed that process - allowing yourself to dissolve any further in this lifetime will be counterproductive. You have already yielded to being absorbed in your vision. Now, you need to manifest your vision in the physical world in some way. Basically you have come to learn how to ground yourself in reality in this lifetime and make a significant contribution to the world.

Essentially, what you really want now is to be lost in the security blanket of your own personal connection with the Universe. You want to 'let go' into something bigger than yourself that will support you and give you an expanded sense of identity. You have an insatiable need to experience peace and oneness. But to successfully attain that goal, you must go out into the world and be of service to others. As you shift attention from your own fears and focus instead on the here and now, you can easily see how to restore order in situations of chaos.

Your Achilles' Heel is victim consciousness ("If I don't have constant, compassionate attention and understanding from others, someone will take advantage of me.") But no one else can give you enough reassurance to overcome your inner sense of helplessness and paranoia. Only when you look within can you discover what outer structures you need to create in order to give yourself strength and purpose. Avoid the unending search for a saviour or mentor whom you can trust blindly and surrender to. Inward surrender will not make the external world orderly and productive. Organise your world in the way YOU need it to be and you will then feel safe and strong, and find the self-confidence and self-trust you seek.

Your destiny and purpose is to discover for yourself the nature of beauty and what, at the deepest levels of your heart, you truly value. To do this, you must become more of an acute observer and appreciator of the world around you. In the process of doing so, you will recognize an ideal or ideal form of beauty and make it your guiding light, your polestar, that becomes the very foundation of your being. Though you may not necessarily engage in any artistic practices yourself, you have the task of sharpening and shaping your aesthetic sensibilities and putting them at the service of your inspirational ideals and visions, whether with regard to the arts, to political and economic structures, or in other life areas. Your strongly sensual side will aid you by enhancing your physical senses and perceptions and your search for an ideal will help to develop an incisive mentality. Your core lesson is to establish aesthetic values through discrimination and analysis. Your goal is to manifest your idealized vision, using your gifts of passion, sensitivity, leadership and commitment to achieve all that you want.

Your main challenge in life is resisting the temptation to try to “fit in”. Instead, celebrate the fact that your inspired originality, however much you try to hide it, is destined to attract attention. However hard you try to fit in or lose yourself in the crowd, you will always stand out. Your appeal is so powerful and bright that it refuses to blend in or conform. Appreciate your own uniqueness. Lucky people understand that self-belief is the root of all happiness and good fortune, because of the 'like-attracts-like' principle.

DD, you tend to stand out, but not because others reject or ridicule you. You stand out because there is something incredibly likable and appealing about you; you may be beautiful to look at, you may have a seductive voice or you may be extremely athletic or intelligent. Whatever the secret of your appeal, the curious thing about you is that a part of you longs to withdraw and not attract attention. But even if you seek to hide your humbler origins or the secrets of your past, the book of your life will be opened at some point, probably as a result of your having given yourself away. You can be a rather late starter when it comes to moving out or up in the world, yet once you have discovered a personal ideal, you will move toward it with a great deal of determination and tenacity. Naturally passionate and idealistic, your main danger is that you may somehow fail to direct your passion toward a particular cause or issue. While you are astutely observant, you may prefer to remain on the periphery, hesitant to reveal your true thoughts and feelings. You may resent feeling like a square peg in a round hole but, as long as you are unable to accept or embrace your uniqueness, you will find that your opportunities for success and fulfillment are limited. However, once you are mature enough to celebrate who you are, you can put your natural appeal to work so that the attention you gather can be redirected as you wish. Once you have achieved this emotional maturity, you will make a charismatic leader with enormous staying power. Your sense of beauty is not as pronounced as your feeling of the importance of service, and you will dedicate yourself tirelessly to an ideal or cause - providing of course that you are surrounded by a select group of individuals you know you can trust. You will delight in and feel much joy being of service to others.

You may live what appears to be a very conventional life and may avoid spiritual or metaphysical ideas due to subconscious fears or self-doubt. Beneath your conventional appearance however lies an ocean of intuitive spiritual wisdom. Even though it might be the farthest thing from your mind, at some point in your life, you will develop an interest in the deeper aspects of life, though it may not show on the surface. You can bring fresh insights, perspectives and information into the world, and you can understand anything and teach it. You have spent many lifetimes repressing your ego and desires - now it's time to experience the other side of the coin and rejoin the world and society. You are here to find out who you really are. Until the age of thirty, there was an emphasis in your life on practically and perfectionism, and these were the years when you most likely denied or repressed your individuality. After the age of thirty-one, however, you should have reached a turning point that brought a growing awareness of relationships. Your creative abilities may be enhanced as well, and these are the years when you can feel more comfortable with yourself and your exceptional talents. Your restless mind, your drive and vitality, and your need for variety will impel you to continually seek out fresh challenges. Above all, you are extraordinarily imaginative and, because you are also blessed with resourcefulness and the formidable practical skills to develop your visions, you have trail-blazing potential. The only roadblock for you is your tendency to repress your deep creativity and originality but, once you realize that far more satisfaction can be gained from expression and involvement than from detachment and distance, and that people will love you for being fresh and original, you will have a world of opportunities for success and happiness at your feet.

Love and relationships: you may be so attractive to others that you can be surrounded by admirers and will likely not spend long periods of your life single. You have a passionate (though sometimes poorly disciplined) nature of many desires but, when you feel internalized pressure to be 'good' and 'improve' and 'do right', your energy can turn into nervous hyperactivity that can be hard for others to handle. You need to be careful that your active social life does not make it difficult for you to commit to the right partner, because you really are at your happiest and your best when in a committed and loving relationship. You can fall in love quickly but, if the relationship starts to feel confining, you can get twitchy. When your desire for permanence conflicts with your need to feel free and unfettered, however, you will likely choose love over freedom. You do have to be prepared to be emotionally honest if you want to find and hold onto a lifetime partner. Relationships provide a superb opportunity for you to grow in this area - you can learn to tell people how you really feel as opposed to how you think you 'should' feel. Once you can get past perfectionistic standards and judgments about yourself and others, you can open up to relaxed, intimate and accepting relationships. Just be careful that a need to be sexually desirable or to be financially taken care of doesn't backfire.

Health: you may feel you need to prove or change yourself in some way and this can perhaps manifest in a doomed quest for the perfect body. Seeking out a healthier lifestyle is a great thing, but seeking the perfect body is not good or helpful, sometimes even leading to eating disorders and body image problems. You should be aiming for a healthy body that functions, not a perfect body that looks like the air-brushed models in glossy magazines. As far as diet is concerned, you need to make sure you don’t overload on dairy and meat products, nor on processed and refined foods, as these could lead to digestive troubles. The emphasis should be on fresh, natural foods such as fruits, vegetables, lean meat, oily fish, legumes, nuts, seeds, and healthy oils like olive or sunflower oil. Regular exercise is recommended as it will help boost your immunity and self-esteem. Wearing, meditating on and surrounding yourself with the colour violet will encourage you to embrace your unique creativity.

Career: you could probably carve out a successful career in any field you choose. You may be drawn to politics, science or the arts but, whatever profession you pick, you will be spurred on by your desire to make positive changes. Your lively intellect may attract you towards education, business, psychology/psychotherapy, counselling, publishing or writing, and your need for variety may draw you toward the travel and tourism industries. Alternatively you may excel in art, music, the entertainment world, or sport. With your independent spirit, you might not be happy in a job that is physically or mentally confining. Areas most likely to provide fertile ground for your talents include show business, the media, advertising, and sales. You will thrive in any field where communication is demanded.

Finances: your innate but often hidden wisdom will lead you, despite your issues and doubts, to make a good living if you let it. Any financial problems will not arise from having too little, but from wanting more than you have in order to meet your perfectionist ideals and standards.

Your life's work is to put less focus on proving yourself and more energy into accepting yourself. Once you have found a way to cope with the interest that others have in your life, your destiny is to become a role model for all those who feel they don't fit in or feel different in some way. you are here to work through issues of emotional honesty, ideals of perfection, and self-doubt as you learn to live in accord with the wisdom of your heart, thereby serving as an example of integrity in your daily life. It may take you a while to honour and value your own feelings over perfectionistic ideals or other people's opinions. A major challenge for you will be finding out what you really feel in contrast to what you think you 'should' feel. Your perfectionism can intensify the innate self-doubt of your refined and sensitive nature because you tend to measure or compare yourself against ideal standards that may not be realistic or even possible. Self-doubt and imposing your ideals over your authentic feelings can lead to a sensitivity to criticism, since you are already vulnerable to other people's opinions. This in turn can make you feel periodically discouraged or disheartened, and lead to you giving up even before you even begin something. You want to get everything just right, and placing this sort of pressure on yourself can make you high-strung and nervous. You may feel an unsure sense of your own centre or identity - you search not only for how you feel, but for who you are. You may think you should present an image of a 'good, kind, conscientious, brave, upbeat' person, an idealized image of how to be and feel. You are highly prone to defining yourself and your worth in relation to others' opinions and expectations, looking for confirmation that you are behaving in the most ideal way possible or being the kind of person who gains other people's approval. But we all learn our greatest lessons by making mistakes and no one on this planet is perfect. You must balance the tendency to swing from manic over-confidence into doubt and depression by recognizing this as a challenge associated with your life path, a hurdle you are here to overcome. By acknowledging your vulnerability and self-doubt but acting with confidence anyway, you can move through it. Once you accept yourself (and others) as you (and they) are, you will open yourself to the most important challenge of your life: expressing the inner wisdom and courage to live as an inspiring example to others. Inspiration doesn't require heroics or fame but rather living an ordinary life based on higher spiritual laws found in the heart, rather than on mental ideas or on physical impulses. Once you reconnect with your own needs and desires, you will feel much happier and more sure of your life goals and direction.

DD, 2015 for you is a new beginning, a whole new chapter of your life. And you need to approach it this way. Put old ways, attitudes and past failures or disappointments behind you now and start afresh. The year ahead will challenge you to step out of your comfort zone, and new opportunities - particularly related to career, social life, and creativity - will emerge. It can be a somewhat lonely year with the feeling that a lot rests on your shoulders and only you can get it done - without help from others. This is the year to start with as much of a clean slate as you possibly can. Believe you can succeed and begin over this year, no matter what the last few years have been like. 2015 is going to be devoted to achievement in the material world and achieving your goals with organization, creativity, and endurance. Get ready for a high-intensity year. Watch, however, for impulsiveness and rash emotionally-driven decision making in 2015. Don’t waste it with frivolous activities or useless relationships. This is a year of action and a time to follow opportunities that will come your way. You will likely feel a sense of renewed energy at this time. It is OK to be a little selfish in 2015. Take time for introspection, as it will add to clarity and a sense of direction. You may at times feel called to stand on your own this year, and your creativity and inventiveness will be at their peak. This is definitely a time to have courage, make plans, and avoid indecision. It is a time of work, as you are laying new foundations, and opening up to new opportunities. Avoid being impulsive or headstrong as I said, yet be willing to change for the sake of your own personal progress and happiness. This is an auspicious time to begin new relationships and make new connections for personal or business reasons. The seeds you plant now, you will reap later. Others might find you less sociable, as you will be busier than ever and you will tend to focus on your activities and your needs. Still, you are outgoing and your initiative is stronger than ever now. Advice - stand alone, take action, start fresh, and express your independence.