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A woman that has a similar body shape to the style of women painted by Rubens. Not just any slightly overweight woman. Not just any girl who has round hips or a bum. The women in Rubens paintings were often very plump, with large round hips. While it was once a compliment, now it often a criticism or back handed compliment.

Roughly 12-13 years ago (2000-2002) in one of my first college art history classes we touched briefly on a man named Peter Paul Rubens. Though his was one slide of the hundreds (thousands?) I saw in my college career, it was one that stuck with me beyond the classroom. Partly because of the beauty of his paintings and his lovely use of color and partly because of the subject matter. I know the nude human form has always been a popular choice, but his nude women were simply breathtaking to me. Their soft, curvy bodies reminded me of my own and I think that may be why I loved them so much. At the time he was painting, the women he portrayed were the ideal. Rubens’ women might have been an image of what women wanted to be like and what men wanted to be with – if that is at all true, then for the most part times have changed, huh? I immediately added myself to Rubens’ voluptuous category and consciously took on on that adjective when referring to myself. This was in college, well before I was truly obese and at that time I fit the description “to a T”.

The Three Graces 1620-23

It was also at this point that I was involved in a relationship with a man who adored my curves. He took every chance to tell me so and because he was 10 years older than me I thought that he was um…well-versed in regards to women. It must be ok to be soft and curvy if this (pretty damn good looking older man) thought I was the bees knees. So in retrospect, maybe these were contributing factors as to why I never attempted any significant weight loss as a young adult.

Cimon and Iphigenaia

I have never dated anyone who was dissatisfied with the way I looked or the way my body was and the awesome guy I married is no different! He has always cherished me and treated me like his little princess. Until I became his um…big princess. I wonder if my security with myself led me to get heavier than I should. Was it a true sense of satisfaction with myself or was it an unconscious pretense because I was scared to acknowledge what I was doing to myself and too darn lazy to do anything about it? I’m not sure. I feel like it was perhaps both.

Venus and Adonis

I was the most shy, wall-flower-ish, introverted girl you could imagine before I attended an all-female high school and a women’s college. I opened up and found myself, my voice, my whimsical/outspoken/sly personality, my creative desires (being an art major kinda blows the top off of being a square…at one point, my dad jokingly asked my beloved professor and adviser if he could “put me back in my box…just a little bit”), and am still the girl who I became late in high school.

And fast forward to 2010/2011 I really was just full of idiotic excuses…I’m tired, I can’t fit it in to my schedule, I watch the kids all day, I don’t like sweating…what BS. I can’t fit my own health into my schedule?! Now, I believe that we have to take care of ourselves to the best of our abilities to help us better care for those around us. Exercise, eating better, sleeping enough, being intimate with your partner, taking a bubble bath during naptime or running off to the book store to read and drink coffee while the kids are at school – whatever you need to do for yourself be it big or small, for heaven’s sake – DO IT! You are worth it. Your family and friends are worth it.

Side note: Remind me sometime to do a post about some of my weird senior year projects…video taping a sand castle being washed away, using my body as the brush and rolling around naked on a 5′x9′ canvas (in my private senior studio) and showing my class my process by strutting across campus in nothing but paint and bubble wrap – I still have the canvas and the pictures. A trusted girlfriend who happened to work at a photography studio took and developed the pictures for me…YES, pre-digital cameras, and NO I’m not that friggin’ old! So, there’s something you didn’t know about me ~ I’ve had nude pictures taken! HA! I’m such a tramp.

I am still getting used to the changes in my body since I began losing my excess weight in June 2011. I’m not quite done yet, my goal is 14 pounds away, but I don’t want to be wafer thin and flat chested. Maybe I did in middle school and junior high when all the girls were buying clothes from the J. Crew catalog, and I was trying to hide myself under boys’ baggy jeans and oversize shirts. But I am seeing the final product start to take shape and am happy to say that I think I’ll still have a touch of the Rubenesque figure I have so admired. However, I am aware now that I was not a healthy person at this same point last year and I cannot and will not ever head back down that road again. Being Rubenesque is one thing, being obese is entirely another and I need to keep that in mind as I strive to maintain my new eating habits and lifestyle choices. I guess in my head I’m thinking about moderation…all things in moderation: food, sweets and curves…any of your vices.

I’m not sure how to wrap this one up…this one was more about just sharing something about me. And I’ll definitely start pondering ideas for a college art project post. Have a wonderful weekend, y’all! If nothing, hopefully I introduced a new artist to you for your consideration.

Wowza, it feels like forever since my last post. Apologies to all! I’m back! This one will be a quick summary of the last few weeks around here.

To start with, I took the little ones to visit my sister and her handsome beau over Easter weekend. It was the tots’ spring break week to begin with so a long weekend was a perfect fit. We left daddy at home this time for a little bit of rest, which he turned into a major “honey do” weekend instead (no complaints here!) My boys were exceptional travelers and considering their ages and all of the changing variables with taking them out of town, we had a mighty fine weekend! We romped around a favorite playground, tried several new restaurants (Fox Brothers Barbeque & Osteria del Figo – I HIGHLY recommend both!), descended upon the aquarium and the zoo (not mama’s smartest idea considering it was spring break and Easter weekend), dyed eggs and had a visit from the Easter bunny. Mr. Bunny even left eggs all over the apartment for the tots to find when they woke up!

Our hosts were super prepared and so hands-on with the kids, as they always are. It was almost like a mini-vacation for mama with all the extra help with meals, baths, play and bedtimes. A slice of heaven if I may say so. Evan’s little air mattress was set up by Auntie’s side of the bed and she made him quite the cozy little nest. I toted along the good ‘ol pack & play for Zeb (who barely still fits in it!) and set him up in their office. And I had the living room and sofa bed all to myself. With a consistent routine for the kids and team work when getting everyone showered, dressed and ready to go we had many adventures and the weather cooperated mostly. Our one grey, cold-ish day was spent indoors at the CNN Center and the aquarium. Both boys LOVED all the fish. The moving tunnel was enthralling and the giant tank wall had our attention for an extended amount of time. We got through the sections we could, maneuvered as best we could amidst the massive crowds and just enjoyed ourselves. The zoo was just as busy, but there was more elbow room so it didn’t feel as cramped. Seeing the kids’ faces at these different places was truly all the happiness I could want as a mother. We had the obligatory “special treats” associated with the act of vacationing…a special outing with Auntie to “Sublime Doughnuts” to pick out some of the most frou-frou/gourmet doughnuts I’ve seen, and a post-zoo cool down at Yoforia. Our bedtimes were a little later than usual, but with Auntie and Uncle on hand, their services were greatly preferred over mama’s and bedtime ran smoothly.

I was able to relax and enjoy my hosts’ company after the tots were asleep. We enjoyed hot tea and some mindless tv while we just yapped and caught up on everything with each other. With the stunning skyline view, and the great joy of being comfortable with my temporary caretakers I could not have asked for a better way to end the days.

My purple finger came about this past weekend. My husband and I have been trying to make up for the multi-year lapse in meticulously caring for our yard. Mainly regarding weeding and patio care. We spent this past Sunday outside as it was gloriously sunny and the temperatures were PERFECT. The boys played in and around their freshly cleaned out playhouse while daddy mowed the lawn and mama went to work on some major weeds. All was happy in our little yard until almost lunchtime. I had halted weed pulling to go start digging up our granite patio around back, as we are re-doing this area soon and wanted to do the demo ourselves to save some moola. I had on my leather gloves, was rocking the shovel and was slowly digging up one (enormous and heavy) granite brick at a time, loading it onto the cart and toting a full cart to the back corner of the yard to stack and keep until we can decide whether to re-purpose them or donate them. Well, I was loading a brick in the cart and managed to completely crush my left ring finger in between two. It nearly took my breath away and I thought I might pass out…initially likening the pain to the pain of giving birth but IN MY FINGER. Oh sweet baby Jesus, did it hurt! I cried like a little girl, Matt babied me and helped me ice my already swollen and purple finger and I pulled it together. I didn’t think it was broken, but I was pretty darn sure the nail wasn’t going to make it. Never having lost a nail before in this manner, I am totally skeeved out and am picturing scenes from “The Fly” in my mind, which isn’t helping anything. A trip to the doctor’s office on Monday confirmed that there was no broken bone, but I did a bang-up job (pun intended) on my poor finger, and was told that there is no fix for this, I just have to wait for the nail to fall off (seriously gross, right?) and then and only then will the pressure in my bulbous fingertip be relieved. I am so not looking forward to this.

And yeah, since I described it, I had to give you a visual reference, too. It’s no good. This particular activity – I do not recommend.

On a super amazing note, I ran by the mall the other day before I picked up the kids from preschool and scored some Neon Pink skinny-ish jeans from Gap! I never go in Gap, I’ve never been able to fit in their clothing. But a window display drew me in ~ me to the color pink is like a moth to a bug zapper, but without the electrocution and dying part… ~ and I tried on a pair. Well, folks – the size 12 I picked up was too big.

My inner monologue was something like this: Um, huh? Yeah, I double checked the size and noted my confused gaze in the mirror. Um…I’m in Gap, and these 12’s are too big. Is this right? Did they mislabel this pair? Oh my god. What do I do? Hi, yes – I’m doing great, but would you grab these in a 10, pretty please? Did I just say that to the sales associate? Awesome. Am I dreaming?

And here is the awesome pink find – the neon color isn’t showing up properly, but they are HOT and I CANNOT wait to wear them! After I find out from my sister what one wears with neon pants…