I love avocados, sometimes (read: daily) stand on my head to get my creative juices flowing, and I could listen to The Beatles sing, “I’ve Just Seen A Face” everyday, for the rest of forever.

Wondering what goes on here? Yup, so are the rest of us.

1. I am a lifestyle photographer. I have the most remarkable clients in the world, and I share their images here to inspire us all to live life with greater love, meaning and joy.

2. I am a writer. This blog is full of many of the curious thinks I have thunk.

3. I am a speaker and life/business consultant. I post upcoming speaking engagements and consulting information here as well.

4. I am most fulfilled by my work as a wife and mother to my 4 sons, one of whom now lives in Heaven. I share bits and pieces of our journey here on this blog. Including our ongoing struggle with grief, our experiences with ADHD and SPD, and our solid faith in a God much bigger than the challenges we face.

But ultimately, I hope that this blog is about something much bigger than all of that.My dream is for this blog to be a place where real life comes to be celebrated and enthusiastically embraced. Not just the pretty stuff, with tailored hems, clean lines,and the new colors for spring . . . but everything else, too. The frazzled mornings, broken hearts, crazy dreams, messy kitchens. . . even the fear, failure, hopelessness and devastation. I want this blog to be a place for every bit of what makes us all living, breathing, feeling human beings, experiencing together this remarkable thing called life.

May this be a place of passion, purpose, laughter, tears, friendship, encouragement and inspiration for us all.

In 2010, our perfect *”Baby Gavin” returned to Heaven after losing a courageous battle with **Pertussis (whooping cough). We are eternally and profoundly grateful to the thousands upon thousands (upon thousands) of friends and strangers from all over the world, of all faiths and creeds, who united with our family in prayer during Baby Gavin’s horrific illness and who grieved with us and continued to petition God in our behalf during the dark days following his tragic death. You may read Gavin’s story as it unfolded by visiting my old blog here. I am committed to sharing my ongoing struggles with grief and our journey toward joy here on the new blog. I am always humbled and amazed by the continued outpouring of love and support. Thank you for sharing in our journey and inspiring us with your unceasing love! God is good!

*My brother Gavin passed away unexpectedly in 2007. With all these Angel Gavins, it can get a little confusing at times, so just know that when I refer to “Gavin” I’m referring to my wonderful brother. When I refer to “Baby Gavin,” it is in reference to my perfect son, both of whom I cannot wait to see in Heaven!

**You will periodically see me blog about The Sounds of Pertussis campaign. I am an unpaid spokesperson and am only compensated travel expenses where applicable for my involvement with this important cause. Join our fight against this deadly communicable disease at www.soundsofpertussis.com or like us on facebook at www.facebook.com/soundsofpertussis.

I’m not going to color coat my life for the blogosphere… I’m in a genuine funk. I miss my brother, I miss my son and all this missing makes me feel like I’m quietly losing my mind.

Every time I close my eyes, vivid memories, horrifying memories flood my consciousness.

Showers are the worst; I didn’t realize how much deep, closed eyed thinking went on during showers.

I’d rather stay dirty, thank you.

I knew this anniversary would be hard, I just didn’t anticipate the person it would turn me in to. I’m grouchy and melancholy, and for the first time in a long time, I actually feel sorry for myself.

Bleh. I hate this version of me.

The happy news is that I respect myself enough to let myself ride this wave. One of the greatest gifts I can give myself through grief is the opportunity to simply be where I am, without frustration, without judgment.
Because this too shall pass.

Aileen Reilly:
Nat, thinking of you and sending you love. 'Tis normal to wallow. Just remember when looking in, to also look up friend. Look up. A xoxo December 28, 2011 10:44 am

Ihilani:
Natalie, I so admire you for your strength, for allowing yourself to whole-heartedly feel your pain and live in the moment when people would rather not face the tragedies of their lives and call avoidance and stoicism strength. You're in my prayers today. December 28, 2011 10:53 am

Lindsay:
Natalie, I love you. And think of you every.single.day. Love the part about respecting yourself enough to allow yourself to be where you are. To be honest, I'd be worried if you didn't feel the way you do. you handle tragedy more gracefully than anyone I've ever met. Glad you are "buddies with god" and that you have him to help you through this horrific thing we call life. I love you. I love Gavin. That little baby boy and you changed my entire perspective on life and have most certainly made me a better mother. Ps. Thought you'd be interested to know that my little boy Carter is sleeping through the night and absolutely adores his new little brother. God is mindful of each of us. This I know. December 28, 2011 11:37 am

a mermaid:
I love you dearly my friend. I have been thinking about you and what it must feel like to be back in Utah at this time of year or even on the mainland for that matter, but you are facing it all with grace as you do. We all love you dearly- I am far from the only one- and we are with you. LOVE. December 28, 2011 11:47 am

kati:
i think you'd be crazy if you weren't having those feelings (and obvs i don't know just how bad they can be, but showers really are the place where upsetting thoughts can run wild, i know). aileen has good advice. i'll be thinking of you and your family! xoxo December 28, 2011 1:24 pm

rachel devault:
I'm glad you can allow yourself to ride this out, because it's so normal, and maybe necessary! You are so strong. So, so strong. I love you. December 28, 2011 1:42 pm

Jamie:
Oh sweet Natalie, my heart just breaks for you...praying you through...it's the best I can offer.
Hugs from afar...
XOXOXO
Jamie December 28, 2011 2:28 pm

April:
i'm so sorry. it's just tough. and, i get it about the shower. that's where i often think of my little girl and don't even realize how much time has passed. hang in there :) December 28, 2011 2:59 pm

m|p:
this is my first time commenting, but ive been a reader for a long time.
thank you for sharing this. i am in my own funk, as well, + the last two days have been spent coccooning under my blankets, except when i left my house to spend two hours a day with friends.
im honoring my grief. it seems fitting to do so as this year ends.
love your words + images + movies! December 29, 2011 10:42 am

michelle:
Just what is it about showers? That's the only place I can let it go.... December 29, 2011 1:02 pm

Cat:
Natalie your words inspire me daily and I thank you for sharing your life with us, the good and the not so good. Hang in there and like you said this too shall pass. This is my first time commenting too, i'm from the UK and look forward to your blog. Not sure if you've heard of it, but I recommend 'one thousand gifts' by Ann Voskamp. An amazing book. Keep smiling and indeed looking up :o) December 29, 2011 1:23 pm

Ceci Holdnak:
You are so very much in my thoughts and prayers... I admire your courage, strength and most of it, your love for God... May he give you peace during these hard times... Memories are priceless... and you have the right to all those feelings remembering your brother and lovely child... Peace Natalie... this too shall pass... December 30, 2011 8:27 pm

Sally:
I'm so sorry for everything you have gone through. Your words always move me and make me want to be a better person. Thank you for sharing your honest emotions with the world. You are a pathway for so many to healing and hope. January 1, 2012 10:50 pm

natalie:
@Sally, Thank you so much for your kind words. Sincerely. January 2, 2012 9:25 pm

natalie:
@Cat This better not be the ONLY time you comment. We need to be bffs. I'm looking up that book now! January 2, 2012 9:27 pm

This year, in lieu of Christmas cards, I’ll be sending friends and family this spotty little video (again, I wholeheartedly own the reality that I am NOT a videographer–this is only my second attempt, so go easy).

The Back Story.

This year for Christmas we’re headed to Utah.

With all the luggage, all the gifts and all the humans I need to transport to make the season bright, travel was just turning in to a big, hairy nightmare. PLUS, we were originally planning to leave Sunday afternoon post church, but I came down with the plague, so by Monday night, as we were still just sitting around waiting for mom to buck-up and DRIVE already, we decided to brighten up the evening (and lighten up the cargo) by having our first annual “Fake Christmas.” BEST.IDEA.EVER!

We ran to Fry’s and bought a teeny tree, wrapped it with a half lit string of lights and some home made decorations, and went to town.

Relaxing, spontaneous, us*.

Merry Christmas to YOU!

I’m taking the rest of the week off; see you Monday! xo, N

*Side note: One of the things that is always tricky about Christmas is all the pressure to get everything just right. It’s also hugely challenging to keep everything in perspective and maintain the true spirit of Christmas–it’s even harder to try to instill that spirit in your kids! Jumping the gun and opening most of our presents early, alleviated any and all pressure about what the day should or shouldn’t bring, and freed up the 25th to be more centered on what Christmas really is all about. Don’t you worry, Santa’s still a comin’ to town, but his sleigh will be a whole lot lighter than usual.

Joanna:
What an awesome mini movie- just beautiful! I loved it! Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family! December 21, 2011 5:43 am

Kristen Buley:
Natalie!!! That was awesome! Loved it, and makes me want to re-think my own "skills" or lack thereof in Video creation on my own dslr. I love these things! MERRY Real Christmas! December 21, 2011 6:14 am

Liz:
This is gorgeous! Love the choice of song. We're getting a sort of fake Christmas in March, when we fly home to see my family, so I think you have a very cool idea here!
P.S: you're a better video editor than you think :) December 21, 2011 6:26 am

Shelly:
I loved it!! Loved seeing all those faces and smiles that I adore! I think you're an AWESOME videographer, too! December 21, 2011 7:56 am

Kristen:
That brought happy tears to my eyes! I also love the colorful watch on your merry fake Christmas writers wrist. It reminds me of a swatch watch. It makes me want to go out and get one. Merry Christmas to your family. I hope you're feeling better. December 21, 2011 8:24 am

Jenni Bailey:
Too short! I seriously could have watched an hour of your family frolicking. So sweet and spirited. Merry Fake Christmas to you, Natalie!! December 21, 2011 9:19 am

marie rose:
seriously...that was the cutest thing ever! I've tried to do something like that with all my videos I've taken this year and yours is FAR better than mine. Who was singing that song? I'm in love! Merry Christmas to you and your cute family. Come to Utah and enjoy yourself a nice snowless freeze! December 21, 2011 11:36 am

Bridget:
Awesome. A friend of mine began a new tradition this year. Santa comes on December 6th for Father Christmas/St. Nicholas's day. And the 25th is free to celebrate Christ's birth. December 21, 2011 2:21 pm

Kirsten:
Awesome. We're having ourselves a little "fake Christmas" of our own tonight. Though, I don't think it'll be as fun and lively as yours =).
As for the video--Kaia liked it more than Baby Signing TIme, and that's saying something =) December 21, 2011 5:47 pm

Be ye forewarned, they’re s’pensive, like ridiculously so, but they’re also sincerely worth the cost. I figure, I NEVER spend a cent on my head: no color, rarely cut, etc, so I can afford to go hard or go home in the shampoo/condish department, yes? YES.

If you decide to splurge, but can’t swing the entire line, just opt for the conditioner. It’s fab. FAB.

xo, N

PS. I picked mine up locally at Ulta. Do they have Ulta in other places? The first I’d heard of it was when I moved to AZ.

Lindsay:
Funny I had the exact opposite reaction to these products! I loved them at first (despite the cost), but after a few weeks they seriously dried and coated my hair. I've been getting great waves using Spiral Solutions and Curl Junkie lately :) December 20, 2011 9:14 am

Aileen Reilly:
i saw a woman at PDN in NYC with awesome curls and asked what she used. and THIS is it. their first salon was in NYC, which is where she also gets her hair cut (cut is important to curls too). you can also get them here: http://store.devachansalon.com/Categories.bok?category=DevaCurl. i haven't tried any of them yet, but as soon as my short pixie cut grows and my curls are back, you know what i'm buying! can't wait. curly silver. :) December 20, 2011 9:34 am

natalie:
Lindsay, My hair doesn't feel coated at all, and I don't even rinse my conditioner out all the way! Funny how different hair reacts to different products! The cool thing is that with MOST stores, you can try products and if you don't like them, you can return them! Bam! I'll have to try Spiral Solutions and Curl Junkie! December 20, 2011 10:19 am

Lindsay:
It is bizarre how hair likes different things. i wish they would have kept working because my hair looked awesome at first! December 20, 2011 11:00 am

Kim:
I have slight waves and went to look for sulphate-free products after you last blog post and bought this at Ulta! I LOVE the conditioner. It smells so good. Thank you for the tips! December 20, 2011 2:48 pm

Sally:
Your tips have really helped my hair "come alive". Thanks for the info!!I have a tendency to throw my fro into a bun and go about my day, but in all honesty, giving my hair attention makes me feel more beautiful......and I've been needing a boost lately. January 1, 2012 10:53 pm

natalie:
@Sally, this THRILLS me! The coolest thing I've learned about curls, is that if you take care of them, they just get better with time! xoxo! January 2, 2012 9:25 pm

Lacey:
My sister sells this at her hair salon in the Dayton/miaimisburg area in Ohio. The number is 937 859 9tan. She has taken deva curl classes. All of us have naturally curly hair and lovvvveee these products. January 4, 2012 6:51 pm

natalie:
Lacey! I want a cut from her!!! If only... January 7, 2012 9:50 am

Nicole:
Are there are Deva Curls shampoos without sulfats? March 17, 2013 10:36 am

natalie:
Nicole! Yes, there is no sulfate in the Deva Curls products. April 3, 2013 11:41 am

The kind of sick that makes you pull the car over every half hour or so to take a quick cat nap so you don’t pass out and kill the cute little Christmas elves in the back seat.

The kind of sick that makes you climb into a shopping cart and make said elves push you around Toys R Us, because you sincerely cannot stand for more than 2 minute intervals. And yes, the other Toys R Us patrons really loved our little show.

Sometimes I forget how strange our family must seem to other people. . . we kind of just do what we do and never think a thing of it until we see someone else’s reaction . . . but I digress. . .

Richie has been out of town for the last week (aside from Wednesday night), so I’ve been flying solo with the crazies. Side note: check out this darling cell phone pic (Instagram: NatalieNorton, find me!) of the boys at their Christmas dance recital on Friday. Love them.

So today, Richie was home again (jiggity jig/huge sigh of relief), so I sent him to church with the boys, while I took a 4 hour nap. . . and after a full 8 hours of sleep last night, I’m very impressed with myself. The sleep was great (and the HUGE dose of Advil wasn’t bad either), but let me tell you the thing that rocked my world harder than anything else.

Earlier this fall, Columbia Sportwear sent me a bunch of winter gear to review. Can I just say, I love working with Columbia?! Unlike other vendors that send me their products for review, Columbia has NO EXPECTATION whatsoever that I’ll blog or otherwise promote their products (which is good, because if I don’t love something, there is NO WAY I’m writing about it anyway). What makes Columbia even cooler, is that they SPECIFICALLY ASKED me that if I did decide to share my thoughts on the gear, that I would be completely honest (even if that meant a negative review). Gosh. Talk about integrity. What an amazing company they are.

Happily, I only have a 5 star review for them thus far.

Enter: The Baselayer. It’s essentially long underwear, only a thousand times cozier and not nearly as sticky and sweaty when you’re wearing it indoors. It has this weird, alien looking, metallic lining they call Omni-Heat® + Omni-Wick™ that actually works to reflect your body heat back to you in the areas you need it most and to wick away sweat in high-perspiration zones. Beyond all that, it’s comfy as can be, totally easy to move in, and has some kind of “antimicrobial treatment” that keeps the fabric feeling and smelling fresh through high exertion or when. . . saaaaaaay . . . you’re sick and don’t shower or change your clothes for 3 days straight (whatever you do, don’t tell mim). What? Don’t judge. I said I was dying.

I have the bottoms pictured left as well as a matching top, that I’m not finding online. The closest match I’ve found is the Men’s version that has gray stitching instead of red. Richie has plain black. Sleek meets cozy. Love.

I’m probably the only psycho on Earth who would ever do this, but yesterday night I actually wore them outside (yes, JUST my baselayer). I had to run out to the car really quick and wasn’t willing to change my clothes. It was 35 degrees out, I had a fever of 102, and guess what? I did not even feel the chill, not at all. Bam! You go Columbia, you GO! Thanks for swaddling me through this funk.

I’m excited to wear these bad boys (and the awesome jackets they sent Richie and I) skiing in Park City next week.

Wish me well. I’ve got to kick this thing by Wednesday morning or Christmas is ruined. RUINED I SAY!

Krista:
Feel better !!! Thanks for the post about the clothes because I am FREEZING here in England so I might have to order those to survive the crack of dawn bus runs. :) December 19, 2011 3:25 am

natalie tenney:
Love Columbia! this is what I asked for for Christmas. http://www.rei.com/product/819112/columbia-slash-n-dash-3-in-1-insulated-jacket-womens
Love it! I've also been looking for a good base layer. I'll have to check it out. thanks for the review! December 19, 2011 10:00 am

Annie:
Sign me up, Santa. I'll take a full set in that Christmas stripe. December 19, 2011 10:37 am

Katie:
I've had the same experience working with Columbia. They're an ethical company concerned with making sure reviewers actually write what they think, it's awesome! I reviewed these as well and love them. They're bright, fun, and keep you warm. Hope you feel better! December 19, 2011 12:37 pm

The road called “life.”

I’ve been thinking a LOT about life the last few days.

It never gets easier, does it? I used to think that I’d get to a point along the road of life when things would settle down, ease up, fall in to place. I’ve come to the realization that this kind of expectation is elusive. . .AND that it really doesn’t matter. The very second I let go of any and all expectation about what life should be (what I deserved it to be), the MOMENT I faced life with complete acceptance, no matter the circumstances, EVERYTHING changed for the better. It’s amazing what a small dose of humility and acceptance can do for a soul. Remarkable really. I am a happier human being (infinitely so), I am filled with an overwhelming sense of confidence and optimism for the future, and my heart is utterly at peace–all from simply accepting what is without anger, without offense, without regret, and then continuing to move forward in gratitude and faith. Ultimately it’s not about where you’ve been, or even where you currently are, life is about where you’re actively headed.

Lean in and enjoy the ride.

Now. . .

Funnies just for fun:

1. I recently decided that it was a good idea to iron the fly of my pants. . . while they were still on my body. This was, in fact, NOT a good idea. Not.at.all.

2. Lincoln has decided that his favorite word is “Sexy,” pronounced “Saaaaaxssssy.” Don’t worry, hearing him sing it to himself EVERY.WHERE.WE.GO isn’t at all embarrassing.

3. This morning, Cardon decided that he was going to stay under the kitchen table until we let him wear his pajamas underneath his school uniform. He outlasted me and went to school looking like a homeless marshmallow.

4. Christmas shopping is fun, aside from the fact that I get all teary eyed whenever I pass something that would be the perfect gift for a 2 year old boy. Oy.

5. The peppermint milkshake at Chick-fil-a is the second best thing that ever happened to Christmas.

aaaaand. . .

The Weekly Digest:

Have a beautiful weekend!

ashleigh:
i just have to say that you are awesome. thank you for the uplifting words.
also, your boys are hilarious.
and i'm sorry but jack in the box's eggnog milkshake beats every holiday shake in the world. i'll mail you one ;) December 15, 2011 11:20 pm

Courtney Scowby:
How do you always manage to write exactly what I need to hear on any given day? It's so true that when life gets crazy and seemingly insurmountable at times the best thing to do is just give in and go with where God is leading you. Love you Natalie! December 16, 2011 1:27 am

rach:
Oh how I miss the fun that comes from your house. I love that you let Cardon go to school as a marshmallow, LOVE IT! December 16, 2011 2:16 am

natalie:
Courtney! You make me so happy! xoxoxo! December 16, 2011 5:43 am

natalie:
@Ashleigh: the thing is, I'm not so much a fan of egg nog. It's too rich for me. . . I'm more of a peppermint girl to begin with. But hey, if there's a milk shake involved, I'll try anything. . . December 16, 2011 5:44 am

a mermaid:
I love that Cardon went to school looking like a homeless marshmallow! hahaha What a great image to start my day with. December 16, 2011 11:38 am

Nicole:
Number 3 made me laugh nearly out loud at my desk. And 2 is also very entertaining. Thanks for the serious part, too. I used to think life would slow down after college and I would finally have more time for myself and feel more at peace. Well, a year out of college I realize that life is just not that way. Still working on letting go of expectations, though. December 16, 2011 11:49 am

Amie White:
I think you've discovered the art of meekness. It keeps eluding me ... my quest continues. It is a gift that I just about grasp, start to feel the peace and then ... well, I just keep working at it.
Your grace continues to inspire me.
Oh! And be careful with that iron sister! Yikes!!
Merry Christmas! December 16, 2011 11:12 pm

Shannon:
I want to say a few things (so much content - funny, serious, real, etc.), but I am only going to say one thing. My husband agrees with the peppermint shakes! :) December 18, 2011 9:57 pm

Ryan:
I tried the Chick fil a shake after your tweet the other day (and because it looked really tasty). It was absolutely amazing. Even tastier than it looked. And it looked really tasty. Thanks, as always, for a wonderful blog. December 21, 2011 12:59 pm