Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host - by the Power of God - thrust into hell, Satan and all the evil spirits, who prowl throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Did I remember to put my envelope in the collection?

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Monday, 19 October 2015

Synod Fathers Set to Release List...

... of sins you can commit, and as long as you feel real, real bad about it, continue committing with no intention of amending your life.
A new act of contrition has been composed, but opposition from meanies in the CDW and CDF is holding up the official translations -- just kidding!
"Ha! The joke's on you, we aren't going to bother with anything but the Italian version!" said a cardinal who wished to remain unnamed, "it's a pain in the cassock if too many people start reading anything other than the press briefings, and realize what we're actually doing here."

So, the best i can do - my no doubt faulty translation follows:

O my God, I am heartily sorry for, well.... never mind, the details aren't important, and I detest all my sins,
because people get all judgy and start reminding me that sins have actual spiritual consequences,
but most of all because..... well, no, I guess that's really it. I firmly
resolve, with the help of Your grace,
to understand that You don't care how I live my life despite the random objections the Church keeps proposing to various actions and inactions, I guess to keep Herself busy? and to avoid feeling bad about anything.