I read that big GQ profile on Brad Pitt this morning and couldn’t find an angle on it to cover here, but then again, this is why I typically leave celebrity to the experts. To wit: “Brad Pitt’s face is a full body experience.” (Lainey)

You know that amazing, brutal, bloody cold open in the pilot episode of American Gods? You can thank Orlando Jones for that, in part. (CBR)

They don’t mean it in a mean way, because who could be mean to Alanis Morissette, but Radiohead delayed the release of their single “Lift” for TWENTY YEARS because they didn’t want to end up like Alanis Morissette. (Vulture)

I might have agreed that Michael Fassbender is better looking than Tom Hiddleston if he hadn’t said he was better looking than Hiddleston, because vanity is not so attractive. (Celebitchy)

Cheryl And Liam Payne have finally revealed the name of their son, and it’s not Cheriam, but it is unusual, in ia good way. (Note: I have no idea who Cheryl and Liam Payne are). (Dlisted)

This sucks: A cast member on The Walking Dead has quit social media after receiving death threats because dumbasses don’t know the difference between a character and the actor who plays him. (Uproxx)

Hey, so, if you get a Google Doc invite from someone you didn’t expect to get a Google Doc invite from, you should not open that. It’s bad. Real bad. (GQ)

I know many of you have already seen the latest from The Oatmeal, because I’ve seen it all over Facebook, but if you haven’t yet, take a few minutes. It’s fascinating. (The Oatmeal)

Here’s your first look at Murder on the Orient Express, which has a fantastic cast, scanning left to right, right up until you hit Johnny Depp. F#@$ing Johnny Depp. Also, Kenneth Branagh looks like the Lorax. (Slashfilm)

You know what you almost never see anymore? Tom Cruise kissing a love interest in one of his movies. It just … lacks credibility for some reason. There’s a certain Mom and Dad quality to Tom Cruise make-out scenes. Don’t quote me on this, but I think that Cruise has only shared two onscreen kisses this century (Knight and Day and a hilariously disgusting kiss with Malin Akerman in Rock of Ages). That’s pretty extraordinary for a leading man with a fairly sizable output since 2000. Anyway, that’s gonna change with MI:6 and you can get an early preview. (LG)

Shirley Jackson’s We have Always Lived in the Castle has been a favorite of Cannonballers over the years. Introducing a new person to a small family system reveals its dysfunctions and ratchets up existing tensions with the town. The book’s themes of outsiders and otherness feel more resonant today than ever before to xoxoxoe. Can we treat others as equals? (Cannonball Read 9)

Obama is donating $2 million to summer programs in Chicago so gofuckyourself for criticizing the fact that he earns $400,000 for a speech.

Former Pres. Obama, Michelle Obama to personally donate $2 million to summer jobs programs in Chicago so "young people can get to work." pic.twitter.com/0SQJU96wSm