If Romney’s speech last night at the Republican National Convention left you nonplussed (or perhaps even filled with terror), and Obama likewise leaves you feeling the victim of false advertising, consider Magoo as a write-in candidate when you visit the polls this November.

Magoo is a candidate all trads can get behind. He knows the best way to convince the working man that he can lead the nation is by wearing a finely made jacket and tie, not by attempting to actually dress like the working man.

The rest of his Press-idential platform:

• He’s opposed to school vouchers, but in favor of school uniforms.

• He’d eliminate sales tax on goods made in the US, and double it for goods made in China.

• His approach to federal spending is rooted in Yankee frugality. They don’t call him “Cracked Shoe Magoo” for nothing.

McGoo’s headquarters are at 47th and Madison in New York City, where you can tell the campaign managers from the interns by the cut and style of their clothes. — CC

In reference to cell phones and electronic stuff, I went looking at new cars the other day. What’s amazing, is that the salesman didn’t really address the issues of engine, transmission, and running gear. He went on and on at length about Bluetooth, USB ports, and docking stations, GPS and other nonsense.

A simple cell phone is nice to have in an emergency, since pay phones have gone the way of the buffalo. But this other junk?