Is there anything funnier than tiny cat pants?
It seems unlikely, but my goal in life is to find out.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Lee Ann Womack's Hair

Well, the 40th annual effort to make people say "What the hell? I thought they just had this award show in October" has come and gone and though I am no closer to understanding the difference between the Academy of Country Music awards (the ACMs) and the Country Music Association awards (the CMAs), I thought it was a pretty interesting show.
Here's what the three people I've seen since the awards thought:
The Butcher: "What's great about Big & Rich is that the way they sing out of tune with each other pretty much encourages the audience to sing along."
The Redheaded Kid: "Woo, listen to me, woo-wooo, I can sing just as bad as Rascal Flatts!"
The woman in my office building: "Is it just me or was that the most self-righteous two hours on TV this week?"
Me: "I think it was three hours."
Woman: "Three hours. Three hours of 'Drugs or Jesus' sanctimony? I'm glad I fell asleep."
But here's where I confess that I didn't give a shit if it was the largest gathering of self-righteous hypocrites since widow Johnson socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A., because I am in love with Lee Ann Womack's hair. I can't find a good picture of it on the internet yet, but it was glorious, this paean to big country music hair days of yore.
I'm no girly girl and my hair do usually involves rolling down all the windows in the car and hoping that dries my hair enough to make it presentable at work. But I'd get up early to have hair like that, if I knew how to do it.

THE CAST OF CHARACTERS

The Butcher--My youngest brother, who lives with me and works as, you guessed it, a butcher. He knows everyone in town.

The Recalcitrant Brother--Our middle brother, who lives in rural Georgia and has a kind of movie star life, if that movie star is Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.

The Reverend--Our Dad, a Methodist minister, perpetually three years from retirement.

Mom--Our Mom. She doesn't get a funny nickname because our mom will not stand for funny nicknames.

Mrs. Wigglebottom--My dog. She's got terrible manners.

The Corporate Shill--Or The Shill, as we call her. My friend from college who was constantly getting me into trouble and going to parties she neglected to tell me about where cute boys would ask her "Where's Aunt B.?"

The Legal Eagle--The Shill's husband.

The Super Genius--She lived next door to me my freshman year of college and we've been friends ever since my first day on the floor.

Miss J.--My first adult friend, meaning the first lasting friendship I made after college. She was my roommate in grad school.

Her Lover--Her Husband.

The Divine Ms. B.--Miss J.'s sister and one of my heroes, because she's brave and funny and mystic and fearless.

JR--My oldest friend. I've known her since I was in the second grade.

Elias--JR's husband and the person who's musical tastes have most strongly affected my own. Oh, how I long to be cooler than him!

The Professor--My closest friend here in Nashville. She's a genius, but she'll never tell you that.

The Man from GM--I've known him since I was 16 and he still hasn't forgiven me for telling him I was a vegetarian when I wasn't.

The Redheaded Kid--No one knows where he comes from or where he goes when he leaves here. I assume he's the Butcher's friend. The Butcher assumes he's mine.