Islam commands us to honor our parents, to obey them, to respect their opinion, and to be kind in general to our family members.

One of the most important concepts for family life in Islam is known as “upholding family ties” (silat ar-rahim). The Quran and Sunnah contain many injunctions calling us to behave well with our family members, even if they are unbelievers, and scholars have compiled these into many works demonstrating the importance of strong family relations.

In fact, Allah will maintain relations with those who are good to their families and He will cut off those who sever relations with their families.

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

Verily, Allah made the creation and when he finished, the womb said: At this place, I seek refuge in you from those who sever me. Allah said: Are you not pleased that I keep good relations with those who are good to you and I will cut off whoever severs relations with you? The womb said: Yes, my Lord. Allah said: Then it is for you.

Severing family relations is an act of “corruption” (fasad) that is the hallmark of the disobedient and sinful.

Healthy family ties begin with “righteousness towards parents” (birr al-walidain). Allah has commanded us in many verses to be excellent to our parents and has indicated the importance of this deed by stating it in association with the pure worship of Allah alone.

Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and be good to your parents. Whether one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them a word of annoyance and do not repel them but rather speak to them a noble word. Lower to them the wing of humility for them out of mercy and say: My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small.

Surat Al-Isra 17:23-24

We must be good to our parents even if they are unbelievers and command us to commit sins.

If they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them but accompany them in this world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me.

Surat Luqman 31:14-15

In other words, even if our parents wage jihad (jaahada) against us to make us worship idols, we should not obey them in this particular matter but we should still accompany them kindly and obey them in reasonable matters.

The Prophet demonstrated this behavior in the best way after some members of his family turned against him for preaching Islam. Despite their hostility, he maintained good relations with them to the best of his ability.

Amr ibn Al-‘As reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, saying publicly and not secretly:

Upholding family ties does not mean simply returning good behavior when our family members are good to us. Rather, truly upholding family ties means to behave well with them no matter what they do to us.

Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

The one who keep good relations with his family is not the one who recompenses the good done to him. Rather, the one who keeps good relations with his family is the one who continues to be good to them despite having been cut off by them.

Each particular parent has served us in a special way that only natural fathers and mothers can provide.

We should realize that our fathers have served us so much that we can never fully compensate them. It would only be possible to fully repay our fathers if we found them as a slave and set them free, which is practically impossible.

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

We have enjoined upon man care for his parents. His mother carried him in weakness upon weakness and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents, for to Me is the final destination.

We have enjoined upon man to be good to his parents. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning is thirty months. He grows until, when he reaches maturity and reaches the age of forty years, he says: My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Verily, I have repented to You, and verily, I am of the Muslims who surrender to You.

Surat Al-Ahqaf 46:15

For this reason, the Prophet declared that our mother is the most deserving of our good company, even before our father.

Abu Huraira reported: A man asked the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, “Who is most deserving of my good company?” The Prophet said:

The mother’s rights over us are so great that the Prophet once told a man not to join the military expedition so he could return to his parents and serve them, specifically his mother, for Paradise is under her feet.

Abdullah ibn Amr reported: A man came to the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, asking permission to strive in jihad. The Prophet said:

Mu’awiyah ibn Jahima reported: A man came to the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, I intend to join the expedition and I seek your advice.” The Prophet said: