Don't Start A Fight You Can't Win

Your spouse may genuinely be the "primary" parent, and have a stronger emotional connection with your children than you do. If so, it's unwise to pursue a custody arrangement that will require you to make major adjustments in your own behavior immediately, to maintain a similar level of support for your children.

First, within the stressful context of divorce you are unlikely to be able to do it.

Second, your spouse will probably resist, objecting on the basis that it's unreasonable to expect you to make major changes quickly, after years of acting one way.

And third, a judge will rule in favor of what seems to be working adequately and is in the best interests of the children. If your spouse appears to provide a more nurturing relationship for the children, the Court will not want to disrupt it. Custody is generally awarded to the parent who has the most direct involvement in the children's day-to-day routine activities, such as meals, hygiene, health concerns, and monitoring school, extracurricular and other daily activities.

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