I don't usually go to bars, but when I go, it kinda bothers me. People treat each other like things.
Some of them want free booze,
Some of them want to have sex,
yet, like non of them is searching for a person. Another person. I'm a normal guy and i had more than 4 girlfriends till the age 23 but it never was about the attributes. It was about the other person. I loved being with them because of them, and not for their stuff.

So, I'm new here and don't really know what Atheists think about this topic. Is it wrong to use other people's attributes and don't bother getting to know them and experience a real, actual person,
not just a part of him/ her?

And if it's not wrong,
I'd love to see why.

Personally, I don't want to be used in any way.
I don't want to be perceived as a thing, or an object.
I want to be known by a person, and perceived as a person, and loved as a person.
And it really bothers me to see so many people using each other

I don't usually go to bars, but when I go, it kinda bothers me. People treat each other like things.
Some of them want free booze,
Some of them want to have sex,
yet, like non of them is searching for a person. Another person. I'm a normal guy and i had more than 4 girlfriends till the age 23 but it never was about the attributes. It was about the other person. I loved being with them because of them, and not for their stuff.

So, I'm new here and don't really know what Atheists think about this topic. Is it wrong to use other people's attributes and don't bother getting to know them and experience a real, actual person,
not just a part of him/ her?

And if it's not wrong,
I'd love to see why.

Personally, I don't want to be used in any way.
I don't want to be perceived as a thing, or an object.
I want to be known by a person, and perceived as a person, and loved as a person.
And it really bothers me to see so many people using each other

First I would say that there is no way for you know that no one goes to a bar looking for a relationship. Generalizations are seldom correct.

If two people meet up at a bar (or anywhere else) and both are there with the purpose of finding someone to have sex with...what's the problem as long as there are no promises of anything else.

If going to a bar to find a 'person' to have a relationship with makes you uncomfortable I suggest you look in other places.

As for going to bars there are as many reasons for going as there are people...maybe the drinks are good, or the music fits your taste, or maybe they have cute wait staff...maybe it's just nearby and a convenient place to go and it's where your friends hang out.

Don't think you will get one perspective here on anything...you won't. You won't even get the same perspectives on religion or the lack thereof.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

I don't think going to bars is a good way to find a rship. Can it happen, sure. I just think most people who go to bars are out looking for a fun night out with friends and not to find "the one." Imo, if you are looking for a rship, join groups or take classes that you are interested in. That way you have the potential to meet someone with similar interests outside of the bar atmosphere (most people are drinking anyway, so you don't really get a sense of their true personalities.) It's also really hard to have a conversation and get to know someone in a loud bar.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi

(26-02-2017 05:17 PM)jennybee Wrote: I don't think going to bars is a good way to find a rship. Can it happen, sure. I just think most people who go to bars are out looking for a fun night out with friends and not to find "the one." Imo, if you are looking for a rship, join groups or take classes that you are interested in. That way you have the potential to meet someone with similar interests outside of the bar atmosphere (most people are drinking anyway, so you don't really get a sense of their true personalities.) It's also really hard to have a conversation and get to know someone in a loud bar.

Sweetie -- you just painted the perfect picture of the difference between men and women.

Men don't go to bars looking for a relationship.

They're looking for moisture.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.