Why did this happen to me?

Human beings look for patterns and for meaning in everything. This is our means of being safe since we don’t have claws or amazingly sharp teeth, incredible speed or bulk to keep us out of harms way. We need to understand why even if it’s just at the level of “why is the remote now working? Huh..maybe batteries…do we have spare batteries…” Just that amount of critical thinking can solve an issue and get you back to watching whatever reality show/drama/talk show you were expecting. If you have the batteries, that is and if it isn’t actually a plot by the TV to keep you from watching. It could be. They are wily little buggers.

However, we also look for patterns and meanings in bigger events in life. And when I say bigger, I mean shocking and negative because we don’t usually look for answers to why someone good loves us wholeheartedly or why do we have a job that we love that pays us handsomely. Hopefully we accept those with gratitude and humility. Where we question is when events cause us to say “Why did this happen to me?” Why did I get rear-ended today? Why did the check out guy yell at me? Why did I get laid off? Why didn’t the seller accept my offer for the house? Why did my sweetheart leave me?

Sometimes, like with the remote, there is a direct cause and effect sequence of events that we can see and understand. I got laid off because the company is failing and can’t afford to pay me. I didn’t get the house because the offer was too low or the seller decided not to sell. Those, while painful, frustrating, financially angstful and possibly life changing, at least let our mind rest because we can see the pattern and therefore feel safe in understanding. However its the events that have no cause and effect that throw us and send us scrambling to find any answer. Which causes people to say one of the things that gripes me the most: There must be a plan. This was meant to teach me ‘blah’, ‘blah’, ‘blah’. I’m glad that people search for meaning and those that use this phrase at least are searching for the positive in things and trying to make sense of their lives, but to me I think it would help a great deal if sometimes we just let a cigar be a cigar.

You were in a wreck because you were physically present when someone wasn’t paying attention or did something that didn’t fit the physical facts of the situation appropriately. You were yelled at because the guy working at the store finally lost all of his cool after weeks of a bad situation at home or at work or both. Nothing to do with you other than you were there at that moment. While I don’t agree with the world being entirely random, I also don’t agree that everything in our life scripted by some benevolent being putting negative things in our path in order for us to learn some opaque lesson. We should always learn from our experiences in life and look at the patterns from the perspective of what actions we took within them, but sometimes, things just happen. That’s what being in a body is all about. It’s ok. You’ll survive.