Self Preservation – Advice I give my daughters

Many years ago I was looking at starting up a self defence class (I was teaching JuJitsu at the time). This document was based on conversations with people who had been attacked and reading up on the topic at the time. I never did anything with it, but now that I have daughters, it is central to how I talk to them about self defence – or more accurately – self preservation. After years of tweaking and a few days of conversation on facebook recently, I felt I could publish it. My hope is that the advice here, the advice I give my own daughters, can be of help to others should they need it.

A serious note, this is just an article. Any advice in here is taken at your own risk and I will take no responsibility for anything that happens as a result of that!

Self Preservation

It is estimated that over 50,000 rapes are committed every year.

On average, only 13,000 (25%) are reported.

15% go to trial.

6% lead to rape convictions. That is around 800 of the 50,000.

The UK has one of the lowest conviction rates in Europe.

5 main points of Self Preservation – C.A.R.E.S.

You

Attacker

Choice

Avoid / Aware

–

Opportunity

Respond / Retreat

–

Confrontation

Escape

–

Attack

Survive

Finally, you must REPORT the attack!

Choice

It sometimes seems that the press blames the victim for attacks more than they blame the attackers. “They wore what? An obvious invitation”. “They were where? That was an easy situation to avoid”. The truth is, it is always the fault of the person who made a choice to attack. It should be your choice to say no in any situation. Sadly, that choice is taken from people all to often. That is why the rest of this document is even necessary. If you are attacked, it is not your fault.

Avoid / Awareness (Opportunity)

In the street, it is likely an attacker will be on the look out for a victim and an opportunity to attack that victim. The victim could be random, could be a friend or relative or could be previously chosen. Without the opportunity though, it is much harder for an attack to take place.

Be self-aware and aware of your surroundings. Do not put your self into potentially dangerous situations. So avoid places that make you uneasy – this is your minds way of trying to tell you something. If going around the dark alley means an extra 10 minutes walking time then so be it!

Don’t bury your face in a phone.

Just because you know someone, does not mean they are not a potential threat. Most rapes are committed by people known to the victim.

Trust your instincts, over thinking a situation can be fatal.

Respond / Retreat (Confrontation)

If someone confronts you whether it seems threatening or not – back away / retreat. Give your self room to escape should you need to and again be aware of your surroundings.

If you feel threatened, ask them to move out of your way.

If they want your money, phone or some other possession, and you have no opportunity to escape, just give it to them. Possessions can be replaced.

If you continue to feel threatened and have no escape route, start to call for Help as loud as you can.

If you are actually grabbed, you must respond. Try to shrug them off or break their grip. You are trying to create an opening to escape.

Escape / Survive (Attack)

Crunch time. All other options have gone, now you must escape and/or survive. There are no rules. Shout, scream and fight as hard as you can and if the opportunity should arise, escape.

If you are in a position where you are no longer able to fight (overpowered, hurt), let them think you have given up. Once their guard is down, start again.

Remember though, this is about survival with the hope of escape. If fighting is going to get you seriously hurt or worse, then you will have to do what they want. As horrific as it sounds a trip to a hospital is far better than one to the morgue.

Report

Report the attack, try to remember as much detail about your attack as you can;

skin colour

hair colour

tattoos

scars

facial hair

age

height

build

clothes

smell

Anything you can remember!

Remember, only about 20% of rapes or attacks are, help bring those stats up!

The way to look at it is: You are attacked and defend your self by knocking out the attacker. At this point he is of no threat to you. If you then escape and call the Police you have shown restraint and used only the force that was necessary to survive. However, if you knock out the attacker and then set about kicking him on the floor etc. you are now using excessive and unnecessary force and you will most likely be prosecuted.

Summary

It should be your choice to say no to any situation you feel uncomfortable with, sadly some will take away that choice.

About Andrzej Marczewski Gamification Consultant with Motivait. I love to write about it, talk about it and bore people to death with it! If you really want to get to know me, check out the About page.

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