Change yourself, your world with simple acts of kindness

By Melanie JonesTimes Staff Writer

Tuesday

Dec 29, 2009 at 6:59 PMDec 29, 2009 at 7:04 PM

Scientists have proven what many of us knew all along: Happy people breed happiness in the people around them.

Scientists have proven what many of us knew all along: Happy people breed happiness in the people around them.If happiness is contagious, it stands to reason that hatefulness and grumpiness could be the same.In that case, a whole lot of people need to be in quarantine.It sounds cliché, but if you want a better life — not more money and things, but more joy — you really do have to have a better attitude.So let's look at a few resolutions that can change your life and the world around you.

People who encounter me in stores probably think I'm a bit crazy. Why? Because I smile at them. It can be frustrating. On a recent trip to a certain over-crowded discount store, I smiled at people I passed in the parking lot and got only one smile in return. Most people scowled or scampered away as if muggers targeted their victims with a smile. It almost made me frown, then I got a smile back and it made my day. It may seem silly, I guess, but exercising those facial muscles and making the deliberate effort to acknowledge the existence of others makes a difference. It's kind of the “fake it and you'll make it” theory. Smile — even if you don't enjoy the prospect of facing the pressing crowd of strangers — and you'll be happy when someone smiles at you.

Ideally, we could give 10 percent of our salary and it wouldn't hurt. But these aren't ideal days. Still, if sacrificing a few little things can help you give 10 percent to a church or charity, do it. Doing without a fancy coffee drink, music purchase or movie ticket doesn't hurt much in light of the suffering others are going through. I must confess to seldom achieving the 10 percent mark. But maybe you can set aside an hour of pay each pay period for charity. Some businesses make it easy to do that for some charities — such as the United Way. But you can set that money aside yourself and donate it each pay period or save it up for a bigger donation. Ask around about agencies in need. Research them, ask questions, maybe even pay a visit. As you do so, the need becomes more real. You realize you can settle for a burger instead of a steak when the price difference means someone who would otherwise go hungry gets a meal.If you can't give cash, donate things. Do you really use all three coats in your closet, every pair of shoes sitting under your bed? Someone in need of nice clothes won't care if an outfit is so 2007. Thinking about redecorating? Someone could really use your old furniture. Somewhere out there a child is sleeping without a bed. You can change that.Even if you never get a thank you, you'll know you lightened someone else's burden, and your heart will feel lighter in return.

You are blessed to be employed. I know it doesn't always feel like it, and everybody has some legitimate complaints about the work place. But go to work each day you're scheduled and be thankful for the blessing. Work to the best of your ability. Treat customers and clients with a smile and respect. It's OK to take a break now and then, but if you're constantly taking cell phone breaks, surfing the Web and checking your Facebook status, know somebody else is having to pick up the slack. You would hate being treated that way. Why should everybody else put up with it?

Leave work at work. Just because you have the ability to stay connected at all times doesn't mean you need to. Turn off your cell phone and your computer — at the same time — for at least an hour a day. Spend that time experimenting with a new recipe, reading or writing in a journal. Write a letter or work in a garden. Don't just stop and smell the roses, grow them. Learn a new hobby like painting or knitting. Talk with your child, spouse or a friend — face to face. Watch their reactions. Enjoy their smiles. Laugh with them.

Just like wasting time on the job disrespects your employer and co-workers, your attitude may show disrespect for others you encounter. Say please and thank you — to servers, employees, children and spouses. Respect other people's time; don't interrupt. Talk to the person you're with, not the person on the phone. People who feel respected do a better job. I've always heard that you can tell a lot about a date by the way he treats his server. If he shows disrespect and leaves a lousy tip, he's not likely to appreciate you, either. Live your life as if a future spouse or employer is always watching. What do you want your actions to say about you?

Move beyond respect and smiles into kindness. Offer someone some change at a vending machine. Stop and let a car in front of you when you don't have to. If you have a full cart and the person behind you has two items, let him go first in the checkout line. If you're between tasks at work, offer to help someone who is stressed out. Volunteer to sit the neighbors' kids so they can have a date night. Share your umbrella. Scrape someone else's frosted windshield.

Not more money. Not more things. I worship God, and that increases my joy quotient. Start off the Alcoholics Anonymous way. Acknowledge a higher power. Hard for an atheist — or any control freak — to do, I admit. But look at it this way. There is a glorious — though imperfect — world surrounding us. We have sunsets and sunrises. We have laughing children. We have poetry and music. We have ocean views and mountain summits. And it's all some big science experiment? Did Van Gogh's Water Lilies series create itself? Was Michealangelo's David just a collision of molecules? No. They were created. They are known by their creators. Just as we are creation. If we admit there is a higher power — as I said, God is mine and I'm more than glad to share — we must also admit we're not in control. And while that's a scary thought for some, it also lightens our burdens. We can't fix everything by our actions. It's a no-brainer. Therefore, we must surrender our burdens to God. And we take our eyes off ourselves and turn our eyes to God, we put our lives into perspective.

Resolve. Give. Respect. Surrender. Love. Create a joy pandemic.

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