Unfortunately, it turns out that catching ghosts is far more difficult than I originally assumed.

This is what the game starts with. A night in a haunted house? No problem, I can do that standing on my head. I pressed return.

There’s the familiar logo! I pressed return again.

Good. I’m in front of the house. Let’s get started with the training. From my own experience playing text adventures, I know that the first thing I should do is check my inventory.

A text adventure that does not understand one of the most basic commands in interactive fiction? That seems strange but I’ll adjust. Since the description of my location disappeared when I typed in inventory, I’ll take another look around.

“Look,” I type.

An adventure game that doesn’t know the look command? I search my memory and try to remember the directions that were previously listed. The house was to the northwest.

“NW” I type.

“Northwest”

What? Maybe I got the directions wrong.

“North”

“South.”

“East.”

“West.”

“Go house.”

“Go porch.”

“Annoyed.”

“Rage”

You get the idea. Because the game and I are speaking different languages, I have yet to actually enter the house and get trained. I haven’t even managed to step on the porch yet.