Relies on gleam in the eyes of the greedy

To reduce construction costs for town sewer projects, the Cape Cod Commission plans to collaborate with pirate historian Barry Clifford to convince the public that sea captains buried their loot along Route 28.

The project, codenamed Trench Warfare, would exploit a complaisant Cape media to spread the word that Blackbeard, Sam Bellamy and other nautical knaves left chests of doubloons and precious gems along the roadway from Falmouth to Chatham and up to Orleans.

“South side sewering is a priority,” states the document, which was concealed in an unread copy of the Barnstable County Regional Wastewater Plan. “The cost is enormous. But imagine the whole stretch being dug up by recession-battered Cape Codders looking for a big strike.”

“Don’t waste a minute!” heralds a poster that will be put up all over the region. “Deep in the bowels of Cape Cod is the answer to all your dreams!”

Internal memos show that the idea germinated from a discussion between Commission staff and Sternwheeler, the former steamboat manufacturer now involved in wastewater technologies. “We’re looking forward to this as a new Gold Rush,” a company representative said, touching off an exchange about igniting an explosion of greed and get-rich-quick fantasies among the citizenry.

In a public-private partnership, the Commission and Home Depot have bought up almost all the shovels and pickaxes available on the Cape.