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Dealing With an Insecure Girlfriend or Wife

This is not meant as a jab against women. We all have insecurities, especially when it comes to relationships.

Dealing with an insecure girlfriend or wife can be difficult for men because women tend to hold on to their insecurities, while men usually drop them over time (especially after marriage). Also, insecure women in relationships are a big reason why men get drained and turned off, so learning how to address it is important.

Why Are Women So Insecure?

Some claim the media and society puts unrealistic pressure on women to look and act a certain way. This breeds insecure women in relationships because they can never be as perfect as they are told to be. Others say women just have a natural tendency to be insecure about a man's love and its fundamental to their gender.

In reality, it doesn't matter why. Though it can be annoying, having a woman that needs some reassurance once in awhile is actually a blessing! It shows that she still cares for you and she wants to be sure that you still care about her.

Men also need reassurance, just in a different way. Most men feel reassured of their woman's love through sex. Women feel reassured of their man's love through acts of love and kindness.

Signs Of Insecure Women In Relationships

Believe it or not, they do tell us when they are feeling insecure. Unfortunately, they do it in ways that confuse or piss us off.

Some ways women "plainly" tell us they want reassurance:

You might have said "I love you" literally 5 minutes ago. Well, she didn't FEEL it and whether she logically knows you do or not doesn't matter. She needs to FEEL it

She might become overly or unusually "clingy" and/or wants to talk about your relationship -

This always seems to happen at times you least want to talk! Sometimes its followed by her getting upset with you or perhaps she thinks you are upset with her. And all you want is some quiet ALONE time!

**Ask her to read my wife's article How Men Think In Relationships if you need some help with this.

She seems to have a spontaneous mood swing where nothing you do is right and its almost like she is attacking you for no reason.

You know when your woman is acting differently and I am not talking about mental issues or that 1 week a month type of mood swing, that is another conversation

All Women Need Reassurance

A word of caution. NEVER TELL HER SHE IS BEING INSECURE. She probably knows already and won't admit it or she isn't mature enough yet to understand her inner emotions.

Either way it is a losing fight for YOU because you will look like a jerk and instead of spending 30 seconds reassuring her of your love, you now have a fight that could last for hours.

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She doesn't care how smart or logical you are. Remember, in her mind FEELINGS BEAT LOGIC EVERY TIME.

Now this may seem annoying or burdensome at first. However, is it really a bad thing to have someone to love and who loves you back? Especially since this gives us the opportunity to think outside of ourselves and create unity by thinking about her, how she wants to be loved, and how we can fulfill her?

Women do these annoying things because they need reassurance of our love. Just say, "I love you" to her more often and if that doesn't work

How To Deal With An Insecure Woman In Relationships

I know I sound like a broken record, but I am trying to drill into your mind the concept of being proactive. Stop thinking of your own reactive and selfish desires for at least 2 minutes a day and think about ways to show her your love without receiving anything in return.

I'll make it even easier by giving you some examples:

The bottom line is your women will probably never feel assured of your love.

You will continuously need to reassure her. So do it, PURSUE HER, keep trying to win her by thinking of ways to show her you care or borrow the ones I mentioned above.

Even if she doesn't return the favor, us men need to practice being selfless (if not towards others then at least for the woman in your life). That is what being a man is all about.

Let me know if these techniques work for you and if you have any other ones. I look forward to hearing from you!

- Jon

It is important to know that you are not her lap dog. Nothing pisses men off more than feeling helpless and manipulated. Relationships are 2-way streets.

You deserve to be understood, loved, and feel secure also. Now, just because you do these things for a week or a couple months doesn't mean she will change herself right away.

You cannot EXPECT her to change. All you can do is change yourself. If she doesn't notice or doesn't appreciate you, then by all means tell her what you have been doing for her and how her actions make you feel. But realize that expecting something is being reactive to it. And what is our main goal? TO BECOME PROACTIVE.

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