This Just In: Kiddie Pageant Stars Happier Without Makeup

The fine folks at Jezebel turned me on to this Anderson Cooper video below. Cooper invited pageant kids such as 6-year-old Eden Wood, along with their moms, onto his show to talk about pageant life. Wood even performed her cringe-inducing “Cutie Patootie” number, and it’s worth watching the clip just for Cooper’s facial expressions alone! (He tried to cover up his look of horror but without much luck.)

The show ended with the girls being “made under,” meaning they had their makeup wiped off, hair extensions removed, and they changed out of their ruffled dresses and feathered headbands into “regular” clothes. Cooper asked if they prefer themselves with or without all of that makeup, to which all three girls shouted, “WITHOUT!”

Well, there you have it. Kiddie pageant stars are happier without layers and layers of makeup on. Who knew?

Cooper also chatted with the girls and their moms about regular 6-year-old life – you know, things like spray tans and fake nails. Wood admitted to pulling hers off at times, to which another little girl confessed, “I pull my fake eyelashes off!” She then told Cooper, “These are my real ones.” “Very pretty,” he responded.

Honestly, this is comedy at its finest. Dark comedy, clearly. Because these girls live in a totally warped world, and you can’t help but feel sick for them. It was like watching Toddlers & Tiarasright there on Anderson Cooper. Only Cooper was smart enough to show the girls in their “natural” state and, boy, were they ever sweet – just like real 6-year-olds should be.