I have this concept I’ve been working with for the past 12-18 months which I’ve named, “The Forward-Facing 90 (FF90)” — it’s my way of saying that about 90% of who I am is genuinely visible to literally everyone most of the time. 90.01-95% is visible only to those in my innermost concentric circles — a few key mentors and close friends/confidants/colleagues. 95.01-98% is reserved for my wife and I, and age-appropriately and at my discretion, my children. And then 98.01-100% is just for me (and G_d as...

At Change, Inc., we strive to create an environment which facilitates non-judgmental, down-to-earth counseling in South City, St. Louis. Naturally, that would amount to clients having greater emotional access to us, not just as counselors, but as humans, because we believe it is precisely that human connection which ultimately makes or breaks counseling. In light of that, every so often recently we’ve been asking our therapists, “What do you love about working with people?” Today, we hear from counselor, Christina Thaier. (SIDE NOTE:...

As we’ve mentioned previously, counselors are often portrayed in films and on television as distant and aloof, or even cold and sterile — the disapproving old man stroking his bear and saying little more than, “Hmmmmm….” while clients pour their hearts out. On the other hand, they are also portrayed as bumbling and naive, wanting to be helpful but only loosely oriented to reality themselves, sort of like the counselor version of Barney Fife or Homer Simpson. Neither of these is accurate. At Change, Inc., we...

Popular culture (films, movies, books, etc.) tends to portray counselors in one of two ways. On one hand, counselors are often portrayed as somewhat mysterious, enigmatic figures who reveal little of themselves to their clients, generally hiding behind horned-rimmed glasses and an air of polish and poise that creates cool distance. They’re like Zen masters in what they seem to know about clients without having to ask and in their ability to seamlessly reveal the wisdom of the ages. On the other hand, counselors may be portrayed as...

Most clients are initially nervous about counseling. Some even report that they still feel lost mid-way through. And frankly, why wouldn’t you? Counseling is a somewhat mysterious process both in its nature, and in the notion that there simply isn’t a lot written for clients about what they should expect. Reinforcing that notion in his book, On Being a Therapist, Dr. Jeffrey Kottler remarks the following, in the section entitled, “On Being a Client: How to Get the Most from Therapy”: “Let’s acknowledge at the outset that...

One of the more common questions I’m asked in therapy is, “Am I crazy?!!” My clients tend to wonder how they compare to all those “normal” people out there. This question calls to mind Alice in Lewis Carroll’s 1865 classic, Alice in Wonderland (or at least the 1951 Disney cartoon version). Not long after falling down the rabbit hole, Alice finds herself lamenting the nonsense of Wonderland to the Cheshire Cat, who matter-of-factly responds, “We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re...

By definition, the work therapists do requires our clients to be vulnerable in ways that they probably never experience otherwise in their lives — most clients know this well! What we are all perhaps less familiar with is the ways in which our role requires vulnerability of the therapist as well. In his quintessential work, On Being a Therapist, Dr. Jeffrey Kottler reports that some researchers have wondered whether “therapists are masochists and gluttons for punishment. What else could possibly explain our willingness to spend...

When we suffer a loss, all of a sudden a million things demand our attention: making arrangements, handling business, making sure the children are ok and dealing with our own feelings of grief and loss. It’s easy during these stressful times to forget to take care of ourselves. We may think we’re doing fine because we are still getting through the day. Suffering a loss is one of the most emotionally intense experiences we will ever face. Grief affects us emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally and socially. Your strength will be called...

I’ve been a little depressed lately.
Wait…did I say that out loud?
Doesn’t matter. It’s true either way. That’s right. I’m a therapist, and I’ve been depressed lately. It’s actually remarkable how predictable this sort of thing is for me.

Did you see us in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch this week? We were there! Change, Inc. Founder and Clinical and Managing Director, Ryan Thomas Neace, was featured in an article discussing the impact of online behavior in relationships! Click here to...