Hmm she may have. I asked her a few weeks ago if she was doing something and she said she was getting something (vague) done. I should FB her and ask her! I can't see anything being done BUT to press charges. She has proof- FB printouts- that the girl was threatening my niece.

In Response to Re: where in the f... : Dont you have to be 14 or older to have a fb account? Parents should be controlling internet.Posted by Blueyed228

Very true, but...so what? Regardless of what parents should be doing, it won't stop the kids who are determined to make someone else's life a living hell. If the kid can't see it on FB, or text, or anywhere online then they'll see it somewhere else because the bullies will do whatever they have to do to make that person miserable even if it's something as old-school as writing on the bathroom walls.

In Response to Re: where in the f... : Very true, but...so what? Regardless of what parents should be doing, it won't stop the kids who are determined to make someone else's life a living hell. If the kid can't see it on FB, or text, or anywhere online then they'll see it somewhere else because the bullies will do whatever they have to do to make that person miserable even if it's something as old-school as writing on the bathroom walls.Posted by Seshat411

The argument is that the internet makes bullying worse. Kids that young shouldnt be on the internet in the first place.

Well, we can say all we want that kids shouldn't be on the internet but I could also say that kids shouldn't be having sex. They still do. There is a responsibility on the part of parents, teachers and society as a whole to educate and regulate what children are exposed to.

In Response to Re: where in the f... : Well I guess that makes sense but why not press charged on all of them? I'm thinking assault would cover the ones who held her down too, no? Posted by Dot Dash

I guess? I am not sure. I don't have kids nor am I ever around children so your guess is a good as mine. I know she tried to do something at first and it didn't work, although she never mentioned pressing charges, and then finally had proof via the FB statuses of the girl talking about making my nieces "spring dress" bloddy.

I think it's 12 or 13 for facebook according to their terms of service. As it is for most major websites that require you to sign up. But even if your kid has no facebook, no cell phone, no access to Internet at home at all, they could still see it in school or library computer labs or if a friend showed them and it's not going to stop cyber-bullying to have no internet at your house.

I was self-harming by age 10 because of bullying, so I can only imagine how bad it could be if I were a child in today's society. I hate hearing those stories about teen suicides because I always think "that could have been me if I had been born 10 years later ..."

Plus, bullying doesn't suddenly get better when kids are 14 and can use FB. It only gets worse. My students are 14 and the crap they write about each other on FB is AMAZING. It is some of the most hurtful disgusting stuff I have ever read, and in many cases, from students you would least expect it from, the quiet ones who would never say ANYTHING like that to a person if they were in front of them but with the power of distance/not being face to face...it's horrible. Plus FB is a perfect space for ganging up on people. I have seen statuses and threads go into 200+ comments just bashing someone over and over again.

Then if the internet is so harmful to kids, make it an 18+ thing. Problem solved.

Because like we haev all said, bullying has been around forever, so I dont get why now its all of a sudden some huge problem. So if the reason is the internet, and if we are dealing with an epidemic, then no more internet for kids.

I should have clarified. I do think 'real' bullying exists, and it's awful. I've seen some of the shiit kids can say. My issue is that it seems like any kind of teasing at all these days is automatically labeled bullying, and that's not true. It almost feels like an excuse for lazy parenting. "It's not my fault, the school lets bullying happen." and so on.

Dot, there is some debate over whether zero policy really does anything to solve the larger issue. Yeah, the kid is suspended/expelled, but will the behaviour change? Or will they just getting better at bullying? Be more deceptive? Do it off school grounds? Does the expulsion/suspension teach the child anything about where their behaviour comes from?

I think the other think that people don't always think about is the mental health of the bully, ya know? It's a different kind of person who torments people relentlessly. Likewise, those who do and WANT to are sophisticated enough to pick a weaker target. That's the point of bullying anyway.

I guess what I'm asking is when you put an emphasis on mental health, especially in terms of children, where is the empathy for the bully?

NOW IM NOT DEFENDING BULLIES. Obviously, it's a problem, but if mental health is a point of empathy for the victim, it would suffice to say that you should also have some empathy for the bully.

I was just talking to my BF about this and his son's "friend" (11 years old) set up a FB account for son - listed him as interested in men, and is actively posting on it. BF contacted friends parents, they said they'd take care of it and the account is still there.

In Response to Re: where in the f... : I feel terrible this happened to your niece and I don't know why your sister didn't press charges or what the laws are where they live. But I can say for me if this happened to my child I would not rest until the kids were charged and expelled. In the district my daughter goes to school they have a zero tolerance policy for violence. You lay your hands on another kid and it is an automatic suspension for three days. If they can prove it was premeditated or if anyone gets hurt it is automatic expulsion. Posted by Dot Dash

I have no idea either because my SIL isn't a sit back and wait for things to happen kid of girl. The same daughter was semi molested along with her cousin by a male friend (the cousin was penetrated) and my SIL, spoke up at the hearings and fought for a longer sentence, not the other mom.

I wouldn't have a problem with a magical internet filter that just didn't let kids on any message boards or social networking sites until they were out of high school. It would also cut down on racist/homophobic youtube comment sections.

Blue, I think the other part of it, is that because of the internet, kids just have more information than they ever should about inappropriate ways to deal with things.

People's reactions to things are very public, and suicide especially tends to be contagious, especially in small communities.

And then you have activist groups which I'm all about, like To Write Love on Her Arms, but it also brings self-harm and cutting to the forefront for a lot of kids when sometimes kids don't realize that that is even a WAY to respond to hurt, but when they have facebook fan pages, and they see that it has worked for someone else, all of a sudden that becomes an option.

I guess I'm in the camp where we can fight against the internet, or we can move with it. HOW we move with it and protect kids from it, I'm not sure. But fighting against it isn't going to work either. I mean, there are youtube videos about how to get past the firewalls at schools to get to facebook.

Ricks- I want to buy your niece a new spring dress. Numbers- if you see that stuff your kids write, are you allowed to address it in school?Posted by Blueyed228

Um, yeah, it depends. Usually when I see it is because there is an issue that has been brought to me and so I ask students to bring in whatever evidence they can. Usually at that point I send it to admin (they get paid more, it usually ends up being a shitt ton of work/time plus there is cover your ass stuff involved).

We had a MASSIVE education bill pass last year that more or less stipulates that if I see, hear, or am made aware of any kind of bullying situation and I do not follow up I can be held accountable.

Fishy- Im also probably the wrong person to even be talking about this topic. My mind wants to go right to "oh please, get the fvck over it".

But I do think something needs to be done, and i dont think it has anything to do with the kids. I think all the adults involved need to change their approach. Parents, teachers, etc. Its an adult problem, not a kid problem in my eyes.

In Response to Re: where in the f... : Um, yeah, it depends. Usually when I see it is because there is an issue that has been brought to me and so I ask students to bring in whatever evidence they can. Usually at that point I send it to admin (they get paid more, it usually ends up being a shitt ton of work/time plus there is cover your ass stuff involved). We had a MASSIVE education bill pass last year that more or less stipulates that if I see, hear, or am made aware of any kind of bullying situation and I do not follow up I can be held accountable. Posted by number55

Blue, I think the other part of it, is that because of the internet, kids just have more information than they ever should about inappropriate ways to deal with things. People's reactions to things are very public, and suicide especially tends to be contagious, especially in small communities. And then you have activist groups which I'm all about, like To Write Love on Her Arms, but it also brings self-harm and cutting to the forefront for a lot of kids when sometimes kids don't realize that that is even a WAY to respond to hurt, but when they have facebook fan pages, and they see that it has worked for someone else, all of a sudden that becomes an option.Posted by crfische

Also with the internet, you can be WAY meaner to someone than you would be to their face or you start with being mean on the net, bulid up support, and then be hateful to someone's face.

Fishy- Im also probably the wrong person to even be talking about this topic. My mind wants to go right to "oh please, get the fvck over it". But I do think something needs to be done, and i dont think it has anything to do with the kids. I think all the adults involved need to change their approach. Parents, teachers, etc. Its an adult problem, not a kid problem in my eyes. Ricks- im serious. I want to send her stuff, lol.Posted by Blueyed228

LOL I know you are. You have already done enough for my family. I could not ask for more from you!

In Response to Re: where in the f... : Ricks I am so sorry. I am with Blue and want to get your niece a new dress. I know that may sound creepy because you don't know me but how can I help? Posted by Dot Dash

Hahaha guys TY. I seriously appreciate it but I am sure she has a dress by now and if not I will get her one. You girls are super awesome.