Oh, great oracle codigonuevense! Lights a week our hearts with your forecasts guarretes and cuéntamos, please, if we walk the churrete and the curl to be in the fresh air with some [email protected] or if, on the contrary, we will be left trailing in the world of autism sex and the onanism of the PornHub. So, dear readers of New Code: leed, follad and enjoy and that the astros dealt luck MUAJAJA!!!

Aries

Not only you’re not going to eat a donut this weekend, but most likely is that you regain your virginity in the next few months. Yes, daughter, yes. The cobwebs have taken over your doormat and the worst thing of all is that you will the sweat deeply. We’re not saying that you depiles the twat that runway and you turn ‘to crazy’, but you should seriously think about give you a return for Tinder and get you a Spider-man that at least your jets web will give you more pleasure.

Taurus

“All the tripe they want to know that you are in his house”, was one of the phrases most epic of the philanthropist and free-thinker, contemporary, Rafa Mora. Well, leaving aside this specimen of machirulo of Telecinco, we will tell you that if you are going for the life of the star porn the more likely it is that you end up more alone than Putin on the day of the Pride. So pull two marches airs of grandeur and understand that the beauty can also be inside. You hincharás fuck.

Geminis

We have thrown into the air a coin that he had stolen the fellow’s wallet, and has gone to fall out of song. See, we are all sincere tothe era of Tinderwould allow us, your chances of exchanging fluids in the bathroom of the nightclub are about 50%. So the only thing that you can do to swing the balance of the fuck in your favor is to try to be mentally ready this weekend. Our advice is that you do yoga to relax and keep aseaditas your parties ‘porsiaka’ succeed.

Cancer

You and your churri you are one step away from bringing your relationship to a new level thanks to our super article on the Halls black. If you are lazy to give the link we explained that with a piece of candy of these in the mouth during oral sex, both you and he/she will pegaréis a polvete that I will fix all those bad rolls and moves that the routine of living together has planted in your little heart. So head over to the pharmacy, the ‘store of the paqui’ or the super and….Fucking yeah!

Leo

I tell you: we’ve hired a hacker with a Russian that is happening to us predictions, Sandro, King, Hope, Grace, and Rappelling. The roll up is that each one has told us one thing and we do not make clear to tell you if you’re going to fuck or to pajearte compulsively. By experience I will tell you that listen to our friend Special: “a love of the past will knock at your door and will transport you to feelings that it was time that you had forgotten.” We’re going this weekend you’ll have anal sex with your ex.

Virgo

You have the Tinder which throws sparks, and still don’t know which of those handsome zagales you choose to take a pinchito Saturday. You are among the empotrador nordic with a master’s degree at ESADE and the mulatito brazilian capoeira expert and with the tablet of Milka under the t-shirt. What make the situation more fucked up, eh? The case is that, according to the alignment of planets with the signal of the Wifi of the faculty of Psychology, the more likely it is that you end up montándote a menage a trois. We’re going to coffee with milk and you so [email protected]

Pound

Finally got that getaway you’ve been waiting for. But it’s going to rain. And a lot of. So beach and valencia morenazos that scratch the last few days you’re going to forget. And as you’re so, you’re going to prefer to take four mojitos in the room of the hostel before going out partying, you will enter the dream and already to go out or talk. But don’t worry about having breakfast before you come back, you are going to ask for the phone. And eye, because it promises to. So you won’t even think about it, add to Whatsapp and you already have an excuse to go back there where you want it to go.

Scorpio

Oh friend, you thought that you were going to spend a weekend, quiet, but has told us about Sandro King that you are expected to move of the fat: you’re going to find in the club with that ex that you broke my heart, and that every time I see your coraçao are puts to shake. But tranqui, because your rollete new uni’s will also be there. Oh, and that friend of your cousin’s people that puts you to donkey has gone down to the city and, of course, will also be. So don’t go crazy, because none of the three are going to want to fuck with you and you will return to home to give you the cane Youporn to be able to sleep. Sorry man.

Sagittarius

This weekend you will have fucked before it reaches the noon of Saturday. Asúmelo, now you have a partner. Much you want to remain a free soul, if it is sleeping in your house and passes the 48 hours that lasts the weekend eating pizza, watching Netflix with you and fucking in every room, you HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. So allow yourself to tell your colleagues that you have been killed the canary, or that you’re wrong just get the Friday, because it does not percolate. Enjoy the calorsito sex with love.

Capricorn

This has been your last week of work, so you’re going to stick a big party epic and by the end you’re going to enrollarte with that companion that you have always been. And as you are so troubles and you’ll be chopping, after you fuck that rabbit in the bathroom in the gambling den, you’re starting to emparanoyarte: this has been a dust of farewell or once again you will be? would you have liked, or had too many expectations? Seriously, enjoy the night and don’t let your rolletes of Tinder planted by this. The stars we have chivado that he does not feel the same tingling in cataplines for you.

Aquarium

Craziest thing that is left for you to do is to test the fisting. You are on fire and this weekend would not be less: you and your friends have planned to go to a different local, so that you are going to end up in a big party/orgy epic that was organized for a friend of a friend. People in the balls for all parties, just what you wanted and a memory to tell your grandchildren. But eye, a few condoms, there will be there and as much as you are open with your sexuality you are very [email protected] it: no condom, no party. We recommend that you take home for the night doesn’t end up in fake.

Pisces

We are going to tell you a secret: we have been called Youporn and Brazzers because they’re going to give a medal to the user of the year. And that we are only in September. Except for your birthday and a crazy night you had in August, every damn weekend this year you’ve dedicated more time to stimulate you to meet up with your friends. Seriously, haztelo to look at because maybe you start to have a problem. If, at the end, that quote that you have planned with the friend of your sister goes well and not made a squirt and nothing more to put a hand on the leg, don’t be surprised too much.

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