Sorry for not responding to your response, I've been to busy with my school. Dx But I think of Alucard like a dad... he reminds me of my father... creepily enough... those basterds.

Ok.. I'm at a loss for words...I mean there were parts I laughed at then... there was a part I never, never, never, ever want to think about EVER again, and it was a hairy chest. That my friend, was more disturbing then imaging a completely happy and preppy Integra. It topped my fear of clowns and needles. Alucard is still on the OOC side of things. Yes, he was a prince, but that doesn’t mean he was spoiled. He spent 3 years of his life from the age of 13 to 16 as a hostage with his younger brother to help his country by order of his father; who during Alucard's(Vlad's) imprisonment was killed by his Boyars and had his elder brother buried alive. During the years of his imprisonment not once did they treat him like a human, just because he refused to give up his religion. That man/vampire has been to the bottom of life and fought his way back to the top. He has a good reason for being how he his. Perhaps he wouldn’t tolerate insubordination, but he wouldn’t show it in a childish way. Now I've already grown tired of seeing the scream like a girl part. It did loose its luster back at the first boat-based challenge. I understand it’s for comical purposes and him doing so was to show he’s not that much of a heartless monster and that he does have the capacity care but at least show the character some respect, as you would the other characters, I digress. Amazingly, enough I’m more of a Walter fangirl then Alucard’s but I love them both equally. But that’s all my unhappiness and rant. :p And once more I apologize for the rant.

TTTT I feel horrible for voting Walter off I do.. but Jasper had immunity and I could never vote off Alucard or Integra, those two are the Yin and Yang of each other. But I'll make it up for Walter. ;-; The bunnah! YAY! I have to say it was weird for me to react with both the bunny and Alice XD I love them both I do. Is the bunny ganna be an ally? :3 I think I’m calling the bunny, Bunnicula from now on. XD The head soccer was hilarious using Bella that way I LOVED it. I did, and poor Probst I kinda feel sorry for him, though Walter left without being harmed made me happy it just sets up his inevitable betrayal ;-; *goes into denial about it* he was brain washed! Not willing brainwashed! TTTT WALTER! Porque! I hope I can see sexy Walter now XDD ahh, that badass cancer stick smoking youth he was. Freaking hot. But I’ll still keep reading. I have to know how this all ends. It seems Hellsing just might win XD Since there’s only one Cullen left.

Still faithful even when that damned time of the month hits, Tsuki no Rekuen

"For the love of God and the queen, do not throw that at me again." This was my favorite line in this chapter :) I got a good laugh out of that one.

You credit me with 94 percent of this chapter. THat's partly true. I just delivered a lump of meat, but you added the spices. Not much but it works worlds.

As I said, I was highly impressed with how you refined my fight scene with Zorin. Bella's lines were better this time around. I can really sympathize with the whole happy ending spoiled thing. After the drama of high school I was so relieved. Then I went into the Drama of University. So I totally sympathize with her, especially how Millennium is threatening her family. She may not be as touch as Sears but she'd make a great suicide bomber. THe first thing you'd see in hell would be her doe like face. :)

I also digged that line about her being too thick for Alucard's words to register. But hell, revenge is a lovely thing.

I liked that line about how Integra was a showoff when getting down from the tree. That was just sweet. Nice acrobatics, they were perfectly clear in my mind.

And there were just a ton of great details and great lines in this chapter. So you did a fine job with it. When you've got the time I'd love to discuss the next chapter.

Say whut? Ghetto Alucard? Not approved. I can understand him talking like any normal person can talk; I can understand sophisticated speech, but ghetto... I understand that the many souls he devours may obscure his true self but I don't know it’s the thought of imaging Alucard talk in that manner just makes me want to bitch-slap him and just say "No. Just no. White boys don be needing to talk black yo. S'not coo." shaking my head with the utmost disappointment. I just happen to be that kind of fan-girl that would love to be near him some 50 miles away or in a room with Integra near by. I am really sorry for having such a negative comment first but that really did irk me, its on par with a ghetto Orochimaru, you just don't see it ever happening. I can let the other things I may have complained about go without question but this felt like an insult to the character himself having been born a prince, and still held himself high in society even as a servant of Hellsing. I can’t even fathom the image of him lowering his speech to such a level need less to say if he was just mocking his pray, repeating their prideful words. Only then can I see it. Once again I apologize for the rant. I just need that to get out.

Now to the positive stuff~

Happy Alucard is a lot worse then sadistic/masochistic Alucard. Melancholy Alucard or calm Alucard are the best. “He feels pretty safe that no one would be so foolish as to expose his breed by publishing a novel about vampires that sparkle—they'd be laughed out of society” Pft XD right Twilight doesn’t exist at all. That’s right Aro, stay absolutely oblivious to the horror SMeyer has released into the world. Freggen pixies. XD But wow he really ‘cares’ for his brother. That was humorous Alucard knowing more about Movie topics then them. XD The reaction was priceless. I love it. It was beautiful. He hid the Jackal for last fell apart. Well its better then blowing up… and Walter trying to seem innocent, well like the phrase goes “The butler did it” still stands. XD But that really fails. Poor Zohall he’ll be lucky if Alucard forgets the fact he stole parts from his beloved gun. Oh dear ._. “unwittingly conjures a vision of Carlisle's altruistic and courageous bod wet, naked and glorious in a warm shower.” Poor dear she’s having cigar withdrawal hallucinations.”She reminds him of a nanny he used to bang when Integra was a small child.” Oh, damn. That’s just funny. It was slightly awkward but funny all at once. You made me the happiest person ever. He shot her in the mouth! Omg yes! He shut the bitch up. Hope is restored. XD lulz Rosalie got arrowed in the dead center, another lol.

It had a not so pleasant start but it ended with a smile on my face. I’m saddened to have to vote Sears off, really it hurt me to do so, but to finally get Edward off felt so nice. I hope nothing happens to the Police Girl. And the next three well its obvious who will bet taken off and fall in suit with the whole betrayal though I strongly believe he was brain washed. Its impossible to leave Alucard alone without Integra. That man needs her to keep him in line. I tried to out weigh the negative with more positives ; OOc is fine once in while but it just seemed to keep popping out more then liked. My faith in your story shall never falter, and I still wait for the next chapter.

I would comment on Alucard's gross OOC-ness in the beginning of this chapter, but I just see no point in that anymore. If after everything else I've already said, he's still getting lines like, “Wa'sup, Niggaz?” and 'strutting his stuff like a drug dealer in the hood' it's obvious that future comments on his character aren't going to do a bit of good. So, that's it – I'm done.

Moving on...

Okay, so IMO this chapter got off to a rocky start, but it improved considerably with the introduction of Regis Philbin and the whole Who Wants to be a Millionaire knock off. :)

I've never head of this Aro guy before (so I'm guessing he's from the Twilight series) and couldn't care less what happened to his brother. But the little digs about the person trying to publish a story where 'vampires' sparkled being laughed out of society was pretty amusing. (If only, right? If only...)

Also I got a kick out of that second question about the woodchuck. Funny thing though, I always thought the answer was, “He would chuck what a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood... wouldn't he?” :P But just having him randomly know an actual measurement worked out well too... and of course the organization of sparkly fairies would be the only ones dumb enough to waste their time actually trying to predict something like that. O_o LoL

Also Jasper's roller coaster of emotions regarding Regis' moral 'alignment' was mildly amusing in and of itself. :)

But the best part of that little skit was the Batman question. Oh, small point of fact though, the 1986 movie wasn't the 'original' big screen debut. Adam West actually stared in a big screen batman movie that was released in 1966. But then you do give the date of the movie you're talking about, so it's still clear that you're referring to the Keaton release – best Batman film to date. But maybe just cut the word original out of the text?

But, anyway, the fact that THAT would be the question none of the sparkly ones knew was hilarious! Probably afraid to watch the film 'cause Keaton – playing the part of a human in a giant bat costume – was still more vampire than they could ever hope to be. ;D

And I must say, though Alucard's reaction to them not knowing the answer to that quest was still OOC, it was funny enough that I really didn't mind in that instance. ;)

Oh, but the best part of that little skit was when Marcus went off on that mini-tangent about the Thomas Jane as the Punisher. While I do agree with him that The Punisher outclasses all of the Batman movies (slightly in some cases) in terms of dark/anti hero characters, only one of Miss Meyer's characters would be idiotic enough to start in on a rant like that when his brother's life LITERALLY hangs in the balance!

Anyway that whole scene CMU. And I thought it was very entertainingly ironic that at one point Alucard was actually trying to use his mental powers to help save one of the sparkly fakers – even if that would've only been a byproduct of getting the right answer from that (superhero challenged) Aro character. ;)

Urm... Integra should NOT be fantasying about any of the Cullens, even as a passing fantasy. They're week, insignificant idiots and wholly unworthy of her time... and she'd know that. She'd be as likely to fantasize about one of them as a dropped hammer would be to fall UP and into the sky.

That said the rest of the new challenge was a lot of fun. And I just had to chuckle at both your portrayal of Bella and Alucard's reaction. “Answer me one question and I'll tell you whatever you want," Alucard bargains while aims his weapon at the target. "Who played Bruce Wayne in the original Batman movie, released in 1989?"

"Wasn't it Christian Ba—chsdht." :) That was great! … And the only time this chapter where I thought Alucard was actually IC. ;)

So, anyway, thanks for the fun update. :) Have a good day, happy (almost) Easter and God bless.

My dear, this was the best chapter of this story by far. Everyone and their dog is going to love it. The greatest Twi haters will read this chapter and praise you for your Godlike writing abilities. What impressed me most of all was how you took my contributions to this story and you made them better. You took the outcome of my brains and gave it a shot of nitrous oxide :) Your unique knowledge of the eighties gave you the nescessary knowledge to take Alucard's gangsta thing and mock it in ways that I wouldn't have been able to. Great job on the dope smile. I dind't even know the word dope could be used that way. :D

I just loved the references to my work :D It makes me feel so special. And those references were so subtle and intelligent, you deserve a gold medal for them. Even if you haven't read my work, you'd still find those litle parts to be hilarious. Thakns for calling Aro a child molesting freak. I love you for that. It was such a hilarous line. And to have it in bold font was the icing on the cake.

I have to say that I adored your portrayal of Jasper in this one. It's the best that you've ever portrayed him. I loved how he wanted to take down that blond bimbo, even going so far as to shove Alucard. Lucky Integra was there to keep things calm. While I've been writing Alucard, you've done good by him in this chapter. That line about Jasper curling up and sucking his thumb was brilliant. Then good old Jasper wins immunity. I'm not surprised but I'm very happy at that development. And his love of Regis is simply adorable. That's character development righ there. It helped to enrich him. "For regis." Actually on the whole, Regis has been a very enjoyable character in this. He was a very fun host to have on the story.

Integra ws phenomenal in this one. On the one hand she's the queen Goddess of Helsling, but she want to do so much "sharing." HAH! Innitially I was cold to the idea of Integra lusting after Edward, but now I'm all over the idea. I'm sold and I love her wanton lusting over the Cullen men. Never get sold :D

Edward and Seras were lovely in this one. You get ten points just for putting in a star trek reference like that XD. They were so cute together with their brother sister dynamic. Truly brilliant move to have Seras use Alucard's gangsta phrase. But Old man Alucard doesn't like Edward moving on his main fledgling. Oh Alucard, you're so suspicious. "ar be it from Edward to miss an opportunity to brood." Somebody has to, it's his schtick. Sides, you're not going to get any brooding out of Alucard ;)

The individual cullens were fun. Bella's lines rang a bit hollow. They weren't out of charcter or anything, but it was almost like you copy and pasted lines from the book. Even if you hate a character, try to be original with hating them. But I have to give you a gold star for shooting Bella. She needed to be shot after she thought that Christian Bale was the original batman. Ignorant child like that, not surprised she's not acquainted with all the good things in life.

Wow I'm at a loss for words for the first half. It was gory and pretty descriptive enough to visualize. I think I actually felt sorry for Rip. Really. I will need to comment that Alucard was over the top at some points, though the 'puppet show' was entertaining, it felt out of place. As I would doubt Alu being the type that would love to desecrate already mutilated body that would show and form of reaction that would satisfy that nut. The imagery was wonderful to read for this half of the story.

*flinch* ow that has to hurt... Rastafarian? That really sounds close to Pastafarian (it’s a pasta religion don't ask just Google it). Lets just hope this unstet doesn't come back, since he went out with a bang. XD

I don't have much to comment on for this segment.

My, I would of never expected Eddikins to have the same kind of brutality Alucard would posses. I'm impressed, just a little.

I will say I love this quote: "Sorry Cullen. I know you'd rather have this pole stuck up your ass, but this thing is staying right where it is," xDD that cracked me up!

I gatta say, talk about stoning a person to death. I would doubt Bella being anywhere as dangerous as Sears who had a history of violence since childhood, but I will say calling a virgin a bimbo is the worst mistake this 'Mike Newton' has ever made and paid for it dearly. You can call her Police Girl but anything degrading will wined you in the hospital.

~Congrats on getting published!~

You managed to draw my attention away from Dracula: The Un-dead by Dacre Stoker. The chapter over all seems to have lost the finesse it had in the beginning. Characters seemed to have gone astray, though I know it’s not easy to keep a character always in check. It was great to read again after all this time but something seems missing. I just can’t put my finger on it. I’ll be waiting for the next chapter!

Sorry, to say this, but I found this chapter to be rather 'eh'. It wasn't what I would call bad, but... I don't know. Maybe I my anticipation had just built up too much from the waiting. Or maybe it's the fact that this was almost all combat focused, which - as I mentioned before - isn't my favorite type of chapter. Anyway, I'm hoping that the next one gets back to the funny, lighthearted roots this story started with.

That said, there were a couple of things I think are worth commenting on:

Rip's death was surprisingly... er, 'believable' I guess is the most accurate term I can think of. It wasn't the kind of thing I would've penned - not between those two anyway - but it was well written... and I could actually get through it without shaking my head and thinking, 'that's just not the kind of thing Alucard would ever do'. So, that worked out well. :)

However, I can't picture Alucard pulling that little puppet show afterwards. Nor do I think it's in character for him to be commenting about... er, 'having fun' with the leftovers once he's alone and there's no one left to disturb or torture with such things.

The Jamaican vampire was an absolute idiot, and I'm surprised that the major didn't roast him with the nanities he implants in all his experiments. Still, it was amusing to read about Integra driving her busted sword through one of the sparkly fairy's groins. :) If only it had been Mr. Sparkles himself who'd gotten castrated! LoL

Speaking of Mr. Sparkles, it was also pretty amusing to read about that Mike guy - quite literally - tearing him apart. And I'm glad Seras was the only who got to KO that obnoxious jerk - er, Mike (this time, I'm not referring to MR. Sparkles). He certainly had it coming after what he'd said to her. :) Though I do have to wonder why she bothered to use the Cullen's head in her assault. O_o

She's got a whole freaken arm made of shape-shifting shadow matter. I think she could've pummeled Mike just fine on her own. ;P

So, as you can probably tell, I did like some parts of this. But... it's just that - for the length of the chapter - I don't know, guess I was just hoping for either a little bit of character or plot development, rather than another extended fight scene. You know what I mean?

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.

PS. Oh, and as someone who's currently in the process of reading Three Daves, I'd like to compliment you again on that story. 'Tis fun, funny, witty and even comes packed with a cleverly concealed moral or two... or three. Really, a wonderful read. :D I'm so very glad you were able to get it published! ;)