The Parallel between the movie Brooklyn and my life

Have you ever watched a movie and at the end just sat there and thought: well, shit….that hit way too close to home!!??

This is how I felt after watching Brooklyn, well…the second half of the movie was a little blurry because I literally could not see clear from all my tears haha how depressing… But let’s go back in time just a little bit to the point where my friend said: Yea, go ahead watch Brooklyn. It is not sad at all! It is just a love triangle…

Just a love triangle my @ss…

I don’t watch sad movies. They just drag me down, drag my energy down, no thank you. Same with scary movies. I don’t need that kind of stress in my life, there is enough scary and sad out there, why on earth would I add one more scoop to it on purpose?

But back to Brooklyn. Wow. Great movie. So touching! I hate that I liked it. It is like: thanks for rubbing it in my face, thanks for reminding me of how sad it is to be away from family. Oh, hey, aren’t you worried enough already that something could happen back home while you are away? Well, here, let me remind you how much it would suck!

Brooklyn… for those who didn’t see it, it is not just a darn love triangle. It is about an Irish immigrant who comes to the United States in hope for a better and more opportunity filled life. She struggles at the beginning, but then slowly adjusts to her circumstances (which are really not bad at all) and meets people that she gets along with and of course, she falls in love. She takes classes while working and opens up more and more as the movie goes along.

Of course, when everything is all pink and perfect she gets the bad news that her sister passed away back home. Bamm! At this point all hell broke lose for me…I was crying like a baby. Her sister is gone. Her best friend. Her everything. (I even knew it was coming, what the heck?) now of course, her mom is by herself, lonely as she could be, so just when I processed the “losing your sister” story, there was another reason I kept crying about. At least I was crying consistently. Consistency. It is a nice thing.

Eilis, who is our main character, decides to go home for a short period of time to support her mom, leaving her now husband behind. Third reason to cry about, why stop now? Just keep it coming Brooklyn, I can take it. So she gets home and of course after the first couple of days, things start to fall into their place. Because why wouldn’t they? That is her home, those doors will always be open. She hangs out with her mom, best friend, has a really wonderful time, and even gets a job, her sister’s old job.

Things are going great-ish, but halooooo, you got a husband now lady. You can’t just hang around, chilling by the beach and pretend a little piece of your heart is not thousands of miles away. But she knows that too. I don’t need to remind her. But she has a hard time writing him letters, because she is torn. I am torn. And every single person who is in the same shoes will be torn for the rest of their lives. When you are in America, you are missing your family, having a hard time admitting that you are leaving them behind, and hoping there will be still plenty of time that you can spend with them. When you are home, you are missing your life in the States. The life you created yourself, the life that you actually like a whole lot. The life that you worked so hard for and the people you got to know during these years. The people that love you now and of course, you love them too. You built amazing friendships, you created yourself a new little family and you know there are people that would get your back. And that is awesome. They make you feel loved and you know you are around people that like you…and you like them.

But no matter what, that just sometimes not enough. Not because you don’t appreciate them, you do appreciate them soooo much…but it is just because … You missed your childhood friends’ wedding, you missed when they gave birth, you met their babies like twice, but you want more…you wanna hang out with them, you wanna support them and you want them to eat a jar of Nutella with you on the couch when you get pregnant. You missed your grandpa’s 80th birthday. Everyone was there, but you missed it, you know… the grandpa that raised you when your dad left? You know the grandpa that took you to tournaments and drove you back and forth everyday so you can practice and get better at tennis…

Now you have a job. A great paying job, fantastic people to work with, amazing environment. But you work 8-5 …by the time you get off of work, everyone back home is asleep…can’t talk to them. What if you wake up at 6 am so you can Skype them? Well, that is the middle of their day, they are working…What about vacation time???? You only have a couple days of vacation time and takes like 2 days to get home!! But then your mind takes it to a whole new level of mean: what if you get pregnant? How is your mom ever gonna be part of this? How is she going to be a grandma to your baby if she can only see her/him once a year for 10 days.

Then you run into something…something that gives you hope. A new business, a business where you get to help others, you are an entrepreneur and you work from home. You look around and you see your friend succeed, your neighbor succeed, you do research and you see others succeed. You see truck drivers who used to make $15,000 a year, make millions of dollars now buying luxury villas left and right. Flying from country to country, smiling, not being tied to an office. Then here you are, proudly standing, holding onto your 3 diplomas! Yes, you got the education everyone told you you needed. And I don’t argue it, I needed it. I wanted it, I am proud of it. But now I am locked in. I am locked in good, making as much money as I was given. Not more, not less…

Then you see a light of hope through that business, you jump in, you wanna do it. You want that freedom. You want the lifestyle where you don’t need to check how much the orange juice cost. You want the lifestyle where you miss your mom and need a hug, so you buy a planeticket on Tuesday and go home for a hug, then come back happily because you know, you can do that anytime and as much as you want it…because you are not on a salary my friend, you are making as much money as you can…with zero effort, you make nothing…with tons of effort, you make a lot.

Then comes someone and tells you it is a scheme…tells you you are in a pyramid…get out of it, you will get screwed over. Then you get scared, your dreams shatter…you look around…I see my friend succeed, I see my neighbor succeed, I see the company succeed. Why would this person say it is a scheme? He didn’t do a research, he just heard it…my friend’s friend tried it and didn’t make money…it is a scheme…don’t do it they say…

Well…how much energy and time did your friend put in it? A month or two…tried and it didn’t work out for him…well no shit it didn’t…at what work or job would you succeed with 2 months of a little to none effort??? Let me tell you…none.

I want this. I want this with the last peace of my body, with all my mind, all my energy. Because this will allow me to be happy here because this will let me fly home when I miss my mom or when my friend is getting married. Because this will let me grab my husband’s hand over the summer and say: hey, let’s take our baby home to Hungary for a month and a half so she/he can meet the grandparents.

Does the guy who told you it is a pyramid scheme will pay your bills??? No! Will he be there when you are crying at night not being able to go home because of budget cuts? No! It will be you and only you with your family! And only you will know if you backed down because of the opinion of others…of others that know not much about network marketing…they just heard it…from a friend of a friend and someone that tried it. Well, try tennis for a week, see if you can beat Roger Federer.

I will fight, I will work hard, harder than anyone can imagine because what my friend did, what the truck driver did, what my neighbor did…I can do that. I want that and I will have that!!! And I will be able to see my family more than once a year for a week or so. I don’t want to chose between my parents and my husband. And no one’s opinion will stop me, scare me away, or back me down! I rather try my best and maybe lose than not try at all and for sure lose!

And this is my advice for anyone out there: do what you believe is the best for you, for your sanity, and for your family! If others disagree, and you give up based on their opinion, see what happens in 5 years when you have a major regret. Don’t back down! Don’t give up! Love life, enjoy what you do, do it with passion, learn from your mistakes and listen to your heart!