Writing While Under The Influence Of Depression

As writers, we use our minds to create something new in the world. We turn ideas into books. We are awesome!

But sometimes, our own minds can hinder us as well as help our creative journey, and writers with depression find that they need to work with the swings, rather than against them.

I don't personally suffer from depression, but in today's article, Mark O'Neill shares how he writes under the influence.

JK Rowling. Carrie Fisher, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Sylvia Plath. Winston Churchill. Apart from being successful authors, what is the one trait they all shared?

Apart from being successful authors, what is the one trait they all shared?

They all have (or have had) severe mental issues. Clinical or bipolar depression to be precise.

Plath eventually gave way to her demons and committed suicide at the age of 30 because of it.

Carrie Fisher buckled under the strain of celebrity from Star Wars and famous parents, and became an alcoholic and drug addict, leading to severe bipolar depression.

JK Rowling was a single mother struggling on benefits until she invented a schoolboy called Harry Potter.

As for Churchill, well he was only the British Prime Minister during what was to prove the most brutal war in history, and he fought to stop the Nazis from invading Great Britain. You know, nothing special.

But despite their demons and black clouds, all were highly successful authors. Not too many people know that during his lifetime, as well as his political career, Churchill wrote 43 books. That doesn’t include his speeches as a politician, some of which have gone down in history, and countless newspaper articles. Despite his prolific output though, he frequently suffered from what he called his “black dog”.

It’s not really known definitively why writers tend to struggle with depression so much. But we can make a few speculative guesses.

For a start, writing is quite often a solitary life. We sit in our office or bedroom with the laptop, and we peck away at the keyboard. We invent worlds and characters, while the real world with its real characters continues on outside. But we are probably so wrapped up in those fictional worlds and characters that we don’t make the time to meet real people.

Isolation like that can have a crushing effect on a lot of people. Some people thrive on it, but humans on the whole are a social bunch and need to interact with others. When that isn’t possible, it’s easy to feel that the walls are closing in.

Lack of sleep, lack of exercise, lack of human contact, and lack of natural light are all factors that can develop into something much more serious.

Let’s not forget, writing is hard. I have just finished writing my second book and it was quite literally the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life. This is coming from a 42-year-old guy who has already experienced quite a lot in life.

Since writing is so hard, it is very easy to get dispirited and to tell yourself that the whole project is hopeless. Especially when you get rejection slips from editors and harsh criticism from reviewers, and dare I say it, your family and friends.

This can lead to what is known as the ‘Imposter Syndrome'. When people, such as an editor, your mother, your spouse, your best friend, tell you that your work is not good, then naturally it is a crushing feeling. These are the people you are looking to for validation that it has all been worth it. Those late nights, neglecting your family, neglecting your sleep.

So you begin to tell yourself you are not talented. That you were not cut out for this kind of life. Your hopes and dreams begin to fade, then…yep, along comes the big D. And when it arrives, good luck getting rid of it.

When I typed THE END on my manuscript, what was the first thing I felt? Was it elation? Well, yes partly.

But mostly, it was utter exhaustion. I just wanted to lie down and sleep for a week. You can see how, in those circumstances, a situation like that is an ideal breeding ground for depression to develop.

If you have managed to read this far, you’re probably thinking “Geez, this Mark guy is such a downer! I think I am ready to hang myself now after reading this!”. But there are many ways you can fight against the depression if you are a writer.

Look at me. Finally, at the age of 42, and after 15 years of extremely serious depression, I have two manuscripts done.

How did I overcome the depression?

Radically Rethink Your Daily Routine

It’s easy for someone who doesn’t have depression to derisively say to you “get a grip” (and I get furious when people say that to me). But as a depressed person myself who knows how much of a nightmare depression is, my first piece of advice is, ironically, “get a grip”.

I know how psychologically crippling depression is. But you have to find a way to fight it. You can start by structuring your day. Get up at the same time every morning and go to bed at the same time every night. When you get up, have a shower, have a proper breakfast, then go out for a walk (no matter what the weather is).

Do you know the best way to motivate yourself to exercise? Get a dog. I did and my dog is my lifesaver, my book agent, my movie agent, and my muse. He lobbied heavily for the main character in my book to be a dog and was pretty hacked off when I didn’t take his professional advice.

Develop Your Humour

See what I did there? That was humour. That is the next thing you need to work on. Develop your sense of humour.

Read funny books, watch funny movies and TV shows (I highly recommend “The Life Of Brian” and “Fawlty Towers”). Don’t look at it as wasting time. Look upon it as researching the human condition for your next book.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up If You Don’t Make Your Daily Word Count

A lot of authors say you need to maintain a daily word count. This is true – to a point. But if you hold yourself to a specific number, there will be days when you simply can’t do it. That’s just human nature.

So look upon the word count as a highly flexible desired target. But if you don’t get there for whatever reason, don’t get worked up about it. Shrug your shoulders, and tell yourself you’ll do better tomorrow.

Don’t Show Your Work To Your Family

Obviously, this won’t apply to everyone, but if you know you have the kind of family who will instantly criticise you, then don’t show them your work. You’re just setting yourself up for heartbreak and conflict.

Obviously, criticism is necessary. Without criticism, how would we know what we did right and wrong in our last book?

But there is a huge difference between constructive criticism and outright cruelty – and not many people know the difference. They say “you have to be cruel to be kind”. Well….no you don’t. If you have nothing useful to say, then say nothing at all.

To avoid that potential source of pain, perhaps write under an alias. Hey, money is still money whether you write under your own name or someone else’s.

Join Writers Groups – Online Or Offline

The best way to find acceptance for what you do is to find like-minded people. For a writer, this would obviously be a writer’s group.

This is where the Internet shines because there are so many support groups of many different stripes.

The chances are whatever problems you may be experiencing right now, there are people in these groups also experiencing them (or have done in the past).

Conclusion

If you have identified with this article and you know you are suffering, then don’t accept it as a part of life and a part of being a creative. At the very least, see a doctor and get treatment. Then get started on that next big novel that will make you millions and get you a movie deal.

Mark O'Neill is a Scotsman now living in Würzburg, Germany, with his wife and dog. In the past, he has worked for the Scottish Government, taught English to foreign students, and has been a technology journalist since 2004.

An incurable bibliophile with over 1,000 books, Mark is now rebranding himself as an independently-published author.

His first book, The Renegade Spy, is now out, with two more books due out before the end of 2017. You can follow him on Twitter @markoneill.

Antares – I hope I didn’t give the impression in the article that you can talk yourself out of depression. I agree that medication is essential. Without it, I would be dead today.

The point I was trying to make was that you also need to have a daily routine as well as finding your own coping mechanism. For me, that’s walking the dog, getting enough sleep, laughing as much as possible, etc. That helps me tremendously.

But as I always say to people, everyone’s depression is totally different, and every sufferer handles it in their own way. I can only speak for myself.

One suggestion in addition to the above. Long term depression (me!) leads to chemical changes in your brain which sustain the depressive state as “normal.” When anxiety is thrown into this brew, it can be crippling. Consult a psychiatrist for medication. Seriously. Some people say anti-depressants cripple their creativity. Fortunately, that hasn’t been my experience. If it’s yours you must consider other alternatives. But make no mistake, depression can be life-threatening, and it certainly detracts from the quality of life. Seek professional help for depression. And don’t listen to people who tell you to be strong. Every second you endure an attack of anxiety or depression and continue to function you are being stronger than most people know, simply to put one foot in front of the other and continue functioning.

Thanks for sharing, Tom. As someone who doesn’t suffer from depression but studied clinical psychology, I agree with you that for some people, depression is caused by a chemical imbalance which absolutely benefits from medication. As you say, there are side effects. I wrote about this in my novel, Delirium, and it’s absolutely an individual case-by-case situation, so people should consult a medical professional regardless – and then make decisions on management.

I totally agree. Depression IS a crippling condition, and medication & seeing a psychiatrist is absolutely essential. But in my experience, medication and seeing a doctor only takes you so far. Despite what they may think, doctors are not God and are not infallible.

So it is also up to the sufferer to also find some other ways of getting through the day. For me, that’s writing, sleeping, spending quality time with the dog, and with my wife when she comes home from work. Oh and laughing. As the saying goes, laughter is the best medicine. Watch Monty Python 😉

Hi – I have chronic depression and can honestly say that writing for myself has saved my quality of life and kept me breathing.
I’m one of those who can’t be labelled as bi-polar as my swings aren’t too drastic, but there is a cycle and that was the hardest part of getting diagnosed, as I believe these go back to when I was 12, or even younger than that.
I didn’t start on anti-depressants until 2001, but I’ve been on various drugs and dosages ever since and this keeps me stable and able to function pretty well. But it didn’t help me to overcome the effects of the sources and triggers for depression. That was put down to my falling, almost by accident into an online ‘pen and paper’ fantasy roleplay community in 2005 after my most spectacular breakdown that led to my retiring early. I loved writing and developing characters and backstories for them and rediscovered poetry (which I hated at school) because I played a bard.
Since then I’ve written 3 novels (literary fiction, fantasy memoir and dark fantasy) which I self-published. I also provide author services and typesetting for print or eBook and cover and book trailer design.
Learning to live with depression has been the making of me – literally. Writing is now my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way, even on days when I’m feeling low and knackered. 😀

I totally resonated with your last paragraph Jan – “Learning to live with depression has been the making of me – literally”. Exactly the same with me. Since my initial breakdown in 2002, I have changed into an entirely different person – some of it good, some of it bad. But the depression has made me into the person I am today. Ironically I think I don’t think I want to go back to the old me. I hated the old me. The new me is more assertive, more wary of people and their motives, but best of all, my writing has improved by leaps and bounds! 😉

I was diagnosed with depression about this time last year ( due more or less to being bullied by my then manager) I got so that i was fighting to keep my job, then one day I had an epiphany “Dude, why are you fighting so hard to keep a job you don’t even like ?” Fast forward a year and I have a new job which is much less pressured and i’m ready to come off the pills

TBH the medication (I’m on 20mg Citalopram daily) only effected my creativity in the first week, where I was also warned to expect it to make my symptoms worse before it made them better, once I got beyond that it was fine

This is an extremely informative article. I’m glad it was discussed. Many of us go through some form of depression as we create. I often wonder if it is simply part of the journey. One key point that you brought needs to be highlighted: Do not show work to your family. Wait until your work is finished. When it is leave your book on the kitchen table.

Trackbacks

[…] Here is the link to the full article I wrote. I highly recommend you read it. I bet you didn’t know Winston Churchill had depression? Well you would too if Hitler was disrupting your book deadlines with another one of his rather inconvenient invasions. […]

[…] The irony of irony is, the depressed hate this recommendation but admit that it works. In his article for Joanna Penn’s blog, Mark O’Neill shares thoughts on the topic and delivers tips on how to overcome this health […]

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Most of the information on this site is free for you to read, watch or listen to, but The Creative Penn is also a business and my livelihood.
So please expect hyperlinks to be affiliate links in many cases, when I receive a small percentage of sales if you wish to purchase. I only recommend tools, books and services that I either use or people I know personally. Integrity and authenticity continue to be of the highest importance to me.
Read the privacy policy here.
I hope you find the site useful!
Thanks - Joanna