Friday, April 10, 2009

• When I look into your eyes, my heart is torn between bliss and sorrow. My mind is racing with incoherent thoughts that make me cry because they all voice one thing--here's a man whom I love so dearly and who loves me dearly in return but will never ever be mine.

• Haven't you noticed how easier it is to make people cry than to make them laugh? It's because most people are eternally sad and only momentarily happy. Only a handful are truly happy.
• To my Love: "You only meant to save her but you failed to realize that she also needed to heal her wounds alone."

Am I upset? No. Unfriendly? I don't think so. That's how you reply sometimes. So I didn't think you'd mind if i do the same. I did it now coz I'm not feeling well. It's the first day of my period and I can't wait to get home, lie down and prop my feet up.

I know we still have way more than halfway to go through our relationship. And I am holding on to it with my dear life. I exert all the strength that I have, summon all the courage that I could, to bear the heartache and endure all the pain. But it is sad to say that I feel my strength and courage is already failing. Seems my ailing heart can't bear another pain or guilt. We should not be together. You have a wife, you have two wonderful kids....you have a family. And everytime you talk about anything that you do together, my heart breaks into thousand pieces. I am not jealous as you tell me you're just staying for the kids and I know that you love them dearly. I don't think it's jealousy. It's more of an unwelcome feeling. I feel like there's no room for me in your life. And I fear that there will never be. Everyday, I am gripped by that fear. Every night, I silently pray to God for more strength to carry on. Ironic because I know that what we have is wrong. But only God can help me. Every moment that I am alone, I cry.

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About Me

"I love love. I love life. Lies? Well, sometimes they are a necessary evil.
Never hate life. It is God's greatest gift. It can be tough oftentimes but love makes it worth living.
However, do not make the mistake of literally looking for love. Don't look, just make it! Just love with all your heart and love will come to you.
It may not be in the form you thought it would be, but still it is love from whence you can draw strength."