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i am out of breath… (warning, poor quality photos ahead).

I’m sorry. Well, I’m more sorry to myself for not being more diligent!

Soooo… Where the shit have I been?

Well I have just finished my undergraduate degree. It’s official! I’m done! I get my piece of paper in June! The last while has been more than hectic for me but many positive reminders have been given along the way. As I flip through my datebook I shall relay to you what I have been doing…

When did I last update?

…

Oh shit… I am sorry.

Alright, so back in March is when everything began to spin wildly out of my control. March 6th I dropped off my artworks at the Thunder Bay Art Gallery. I was not accepted to the juried show that runs simultaneously to the Major Studio Show, but I was happy to be in my final year. You see, the other part to this course is the experience we gain and the demonstration that we are willing to learn, go above and beyond expectations and the mere minimum required… and yet as I did that I received a lower mark than most (more on that later). The 6th we dropped off our works and spent the afternoon organizing, curating and the logistics of the shows. I mounted my paintings and even corrected the warped canvases by dog-tagging them to the wall. The 7th was another full day at the gallery as we did installation. And by “we”, I mean those “voluntold”. The sculpture class I was a part of was set to help with the installation of the juried show and the graduating show. Whilst three people worked on a single- third wall for three hours (9-noon), a professor and I installed three full walls and then some. I went for lunch, quickly returned and ate my lunch in the breakroom at the gallery. In less than an hour I return to the gallery where the curator, Nadia Kurd, was discussing foreseen issues with a professor from the major studio course.When Nadia has visited our studio spaces, I had sort of pushed, rather forcefully whispered into her ear, that I was willing to put in more than just 3 paintings. However my paintings were huge (40 inches by 40 inches, give or take), the curator originally allowed for one. Thank god I did some loud whispering because I was allowed one more painting in. The prof and I ran back to my studio and picked a selection of paintings I thought would be appropriate; though I already knew “Ana” was the best fit. We arrived back at the gallery to all concur that “Ana” was to be show alongside “Uncle Michael”, “Mum” and “Myself”.That day, I was recognized for the level of commitment and work I had done (this was important, especially in preventing the freak out I wanted to throw at the end of the week). Partly in comparison to others, mostly because the shows never are nearly finished in one or two days. Besides the Major Studio show, the gallery was almost ready for lights and signage.

The rest of the afternoon I was waiting, with Jessica Buzanko, another artist in the course and friend, were waiting for the installation technician to install part of her “grates” that her bird books were to be hung. We waited most of the afternoon and I found odd-jobs throughout. The grates were finally hung but by then, Jess’s health was no longer and we were only able to install a third of her books. By the evening, I believe 6pm, Jessica and I were leaving. At this point I had realized that without myself, a large part of the exhibition would not have been done, and that I could have been back at the studio, working had I not been waiting forever for an installment that took 20 minutes. On top of which, I felt that a minimal, a very bare minimal amount of people -Actually, I can count, 3 other people stayed any longer than they needed to. That includes myself and two other students that left at 2pm. There was an update on facebook from the gallery that had announced that my work was being featured on their page. Upon closer inspection.. they were loafers it was another artist’s work. And in fact, a number of other students were being featured with them posing beside their work. It didn’t bother me then but by the end of the week, I felt jipped. I was tired, hungry, impatient, had other work to do and been stuck doing the same nonsense for hours. We were leaving. A professor looked at us and asked “you’re leaving already?” and sadly short tempered me responded “I have been here and finished my work since 9 am this morning. You bet your ass I’m going!”. The prof quickly replied with a cheerful “thank you so much! See you tomorrow!”. I did not want to return the 8th, it was my day off and I was sleep deprived already, but I returned to help Jessica install her work. I mostly waited again, poked at the fact that my works were “stupid-easy” to hang and it’s nice that the end is so close, I’m sure Jess wanted to shank me but I was helping her. We had fun. Eventually we began adjusting some lights, one student was more than enthusiastic about helping… she always was. Though outside of class.. rather, never to a proffesor’s face would she perform less. Catch her without someone looking and she certainly had no patience, no thrill and no heart to what she was doing. She never did. This particular person has gone out of their way to explain that they are not becoming an artist, rather, she was “smart” in becoming a teacher that, of course, had more of an income, stability and sense to do. She would never admit it if she was asked, but she absolutely spoke about artists with most condescension. Her prescense did grind my gears but she had a job to attend to. Funny, there were those of us who chose our schooling over our jobs, rather knew to set our priorities so that we were not distracted. But hey, to each their own. I took over adjusting lights until I had to leave as well. I had spent another 8 hour (or more) day at the gallery and I had homework I knew I was neglecting. The proceeding Friday morning is when I wanted to put on my diva shoes and grabbed a glass to go with my whine… I woke up with a migraine. Of course, the day that the television crew was to interview members of the show – it was bad enough that the reporter from the local newspaper was a nut job and those who were in the right place at the right time were featured. I bloody chased that skittery jerk across the campus and no luck. The option was, if you weren’t featured in the paper, you were going to be featured on the local television news channel. Nope. That was not going to happen. I manage to fall back asleep and wake up feeling… at least functional. I stagger to the studio, get set up and then it was at my lunch break Ms. Eager irked me again. She was the only one really interviewed, and on top of which, I was the only one not featured on the gallery’s webpage. Honest mistake, I’m sure, but really?! How was it that the only one who was there virtually the entire three days was not a) featured anywhere and b) then received an email that my presence was [vehemently] requested [read: demanded] at the next gallery set-up. This email may not have been geared towards me, however it was selected students from the mailing list, and I was still listed. No feature, no respect and no recognition – except for the profs. Which I thought was my ace in my pocket til I received my marks. It will always come down to one person pulling tenfold their weight to accomplish the goals of a group. Lucky me, I just happen to give more than three fifths of f— all. I rarely throw fits… at least in public.

I’m sure my mother had it up to her ears with my ranting and whining. But by the following Friday the 16th, I was overwhelmed that the end was in such a close grasp. And of course, I celebrate the way I always do – by looking swaggar!

Had a good time, yadda yadda… I didn’t win any awards – though I was damn close again like the year previous. The part that sucked about winning a prestigious award in second year, is that it raises the bar pretty high for other years. Like a peak, you know?

The following weeks were filled with critical responses, working on my praxis paper (sort of not really but yeah), trying desperately to catch up on sculpture and general lifestyle in which you try to avoid going postal as much as you can. Cherry on the cake? getting “evicted”… ooh boy that’s for another blog. Because tomorrow is going to be a long day.

Tomorrow we the participants are going to install our works at the Definitely Superior Art Gallery for the Retrograd exhibition that opens this Friday. And hopefully I will remember to continue posting.