What Kinky Sex Act Does This Photo Of Kate Upton In Vogue Germany Remind You Of?

The newest issue of Vogue Germany shows Kate Upton riding horses, canoodling with multiple beautiful men, rolling around a well-manicured lawn in couture, and generally acting out every stereotypical female fantasy known to man. But they seem to have included one sexy fantasy that’s a bit more, shall we say niche than all the others. Can you tell from this photo what it is, or am I just a gross person with a gross mind?

Duh, the fantasy is “water sports,” i.e. getting peed on for purposes of sexual gratification. As this is an “aspirational” editorial, Kate Upton is participating in said sports while floating on an inflatable swan in a fancy pool and wearing only a decadent hand bra. That’s how the other half pees on each other.

Has 50 Shades Of Grey normalized various fetishes practiced by sexual minorities to the point that water sports, play piercing, and cock and ball torture are going to appear right alongside chocolate, diamonds, and horses in the media’s wish fulfillment narratives from now on? If so, how will the historically marginalized BDSM community react? Should they be happy their desires are now being normalized, or annoyed at this shallow cultural appropriation? Personally, I think it’s good that we’re beginning to acknowledge there are other ways of having sex than the “normal” way, even if representations are bound to be a bit shallow.

Of course, fashion has been hinting at fetish-y things for quite some time now, because the people who make fashion images are significantly freakier than the general population, and also because taboo shit sells. And I guess there’s a small chance that the person who art directed this photo had never heard of water sports. Even so, I think these questions are important to ask in general. What happens when the majority takes a naive and commercialized interest in the minority? Judging from what we’ve seen so far, I’d say the jury is still out.