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Bush Butt Probed, Cheney In Charge

(AXcess News) Washington - A shudder could be felt across Capitol Hill Friday after news came out that President Bush would be having his butt checked out which meant that while Bush was going through the colonoscopy, Vice President Dick Cheney would be in charge of the nation.

"It's a chilling thought," one passerby told AXcess News when asked if they were concerned over Cheney's short-term rule of the White House. Press Secretary Tony Snow told reporters this morning that President Bush would be going to Camp David, MD where doctors were going to perform what Snow termed a "routine examination" of the President's posterior.

Bush last underwent colorectal cancer surveillance on June 29, 2002. At the time, the only thing doctors found was an attitude, which medical experts say is not cancerous though his administration has become quite malignant in their support of the President's plan to keep U.S. troops in Iraq.

"Absent any symptoms, the president's doctor recommended repeat surveillance in approximately five years," Snow said. "The president has had no symptoms."

Snow was referring to President Bush not having any symptoms of colon cancer - not Democratic liberalism which is a different form of pain in the rear for the two-term Republican President.

Putting political humor aside, two polyps were discovered during Bush's examinations in 1998 and 1999 while G.W. was governor of Texas. That made Bush a prime candidate for regular examinations. For the general population, a colonoscopy to screen for colon cancer is recommended every 10 years. But for people at higher risk, or if a colonoscopy detects precancerous polyps, follow-up colonoscopies often are scheduled in three- to five-year intervals.

"Although no polyps were noted in the exam in 2002, age and history would suggest that there's a reasonable chance that polyps will be noted this time," Snow said. "If so, they'll be removed and evaluated microscopically."

Because the president will be under the effects of anesthesia, he has elected to implement Section 3 of the 25th Amendment to the Constitution, making Cheney acting president until Bush indicates he is prepared to reassume his authority.

In 2002, Bush transferred presidential powers to Cheney for more than two hours. Snow was unable to tell reporters just how long Cheney would be in charge this time around, though most likely it will be for only a few hours. Last time Cheney was in charge he didn't sign any bills, order the military to go charging in anywhere or do anything else that would have been otherwise handled by President Bush himself.

It was only the second time in history that the Constitution's presidential disability clause was invoked. President Reagan was the first to invoke the Constitution's 25th Amendment since its adoption in 1967 as a means of dealing with presidential disability and succession.

I hope they find his eyeballs, his nosen his mouth and his brains while they are up there.

This just makes something long thought of by many briefly official for a time being. Cheney in charge of the White House that is.

'Old Van Halen, when I was in it-classic Van Halen-makes you wanna drink, dance and screw, right? And the new Van Halen encourages you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship.' - David Lee Roth.

cmon now, you know as well as i that bush has no brains. what scares me is that that cocksucker cheney will be in charge for a few hours.

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The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!

“ Originally posted by FORD
History tells us that oppressive nations build walls to keep people IN, not out.
(See "Berlin Wall" and "Likud Israel" for examples) ” FORD- when i told him i'd build a wall between the US and Mexico.

No need to worry. Cheney has seven years experience as Commander-of-Chimp.

Eggs-actly!

But this is a great opportunity to sing along with Chimpy's theme song......

......."Idiot Son of an ASSHOLE"

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...It's the BAND and Dave is really the cat that can front VH. He sang his ASS off and was really cool. No cheese here guys, this is filet Mignon! - Steve Lukather's comment after witnessing a Van HALEN 2007 rehearsal

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My only real elementary school memory is my 3rd grade teacher in her yellow leisure suit sitting in the green peas at lunch and finishing out the rest of the day like that. Scarred me for life....