My First

4rm Cutie Shruti

From Prats

Appreciation

For My Stories

About Me

Each Day is a lesson. I enjoy reading, dancing, writing, trips around the celluloid world, and living life queen size, but on my terms !! For the rest read up to catch up ;) My blogs are open to your perusal & critique. My thoughts, heart felt poems and stories to enthrall you ...

So, I'm a stay at home mom, living in the US of A, taking care of the a little tyke whose as much of a handful as he is JOY !!

That's my life these days. Making decisions every two minutes that are concerned with where he goes, what he does, what he eats and his sleep. I don't know what I'm doing most of the time as I try every single piece of advice I get off friends and the Internet hoping it's the right thing to do.

I look back at the years when DRAMA was the name of the game. I lived life on my terms while feeling suffocated at every step. And that someone was usually a person I cared for deeply. I used to pray that one fine day a ray of understanding would shine down and everything would just untangle by itself.

If I compare the two lives, I'd pick my life today in a snap but that doesn't mean I'm not thankful for the experiences I picked up along the way.

Do I wish some of the knots would just disappear? Most definitely. Do I wish I could bang some others into oblivion? Absolutely. But then if I would have known better at that time, that would be I was an all knowing being at a very young age.

And in any case, time did pass and the threads untangled eventually and now I use the same threads to weave patterns that are simply exquisite.

Needless to say, I talk a lot about my son. Sometimes non stop even. Everything he does. The good, the bad and the ugly even. But I notice the when I talk to a generation older than us, they immediately start pointing out how naughty We were at our age. How it's important to enjoy each and every moment of the baby.

What I don't understand is how they forget all the trials and tribulations that one goes through while raising one so little. I guess it's time that makes one forget the pain they've gone through.

It's not that one doesn't love their child when they talk about their naughtiness and their antics. The love of a mother and what she does far surpasses anything she says. Everything she says reflects the adoration she feels for her infant. She revels in the glory of the good, bad and the ugly for it's all a part of her.

Besides, only one who walks on a road is in a position to observe the crevices, potholes and milestones on it.

So IIT Delhi is going to giving out a course on etiquette. High time I say. Not just in India but all over the world, pleases and thankyous and all that's in between seems to be fazing out like the cat in Alice in Wonderland.

I'm all for informality but it's these little things that make any relationship, even with strangers worth living. For that is when the other person knows you are willing to take that little bit of extra effort to make them feel that they are valued and respected.

Whenever I notice people committing a transgression by not following proper etiquette, I feel like shaking some sense into them. It may not be a big deal for them but for me, it's like something as essential as breathing is being ignored. I'm often left wondering why or how it is that they can just miss them.

Some of these gems that I see fading and miss are -

Greeting someone at the door.
Acknowledging presents.
Responding to email/phone call/ facebook msgs.
Opening the door for people behind you.
Saying thank you when someone does so.
Atleast offering to split the check.
Not making sounds when eating.
Not texting when someone is talking.
Talking softly on the phone.

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: first by reflection,which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest;and third, by experience, which is the most bitter. "

While there is some truth in the above, what my experiences have taught me is the bitterness turns sweet when the wisdom emerges.

Imitation literally doesn't teach wisdom. That infact is the easiest way to take credit for wisdom that is not yours. It's easily forgotten by the imitator; for the effort was never theirs' to begin with.

Reflection in fact is the hardest ( don't know bout noblest ) for or requires constant introspection of each action, thought and event.

A woman has so many facets - daughter, friend, wife, daughter in law and most importantly mother. And we try to be all these things and more every single day. Juggling things like going shopping with phone calls and chores and making time for parents on web chats and taking care of our kids. All this while functioning on the bare amount of sleep a human can function on.

Everyone talks about the baby, it's needs and what's best for it. What is not discussed is if we are not careful, we can end up forgetting all about ourselves and become just a mother.

It is very easy to leave behind hobbies, friends and our basic selves to concentrate only on putting one step in front of the other as we count the milestones in our family. The miracle of motherhood with it's magic brings the danger of falling into a stupor brought on by routines.

Being a woman is not just a about that. Sometimes, it's okay to say no. It's okay to say I've had enough. It's okay to take time off from the scheduled minutes. Why is it that the moment we try to think about ourselves, it's associated with this tug at our hearts from guilt of saying no? It's important to find a way to be ourselves. To feed our souls with more than just the happiness that comes from the smiles of our loved ones.

Because once in a while when we look in the mirror, whether we admit it or not it's wonderful seeing a beautiful person whose got a big smile on her own face for a reason other than just having been a great daughter, friend, wife or mother !

I'm sure you all have noticed. The minute two or more people speaking the same language get together, you cannot get them to stop talking in their own lingo.

I used to HATE that. It's one of the things that used to get on my nerves, specially since I'm fluent only in Hindi and English. Sour grapes I suppose. I couldn't understand why people wouldn't have the consideration for another who isn't of their language.

Lately, I find myself guilty of the same. Being a mother is like instantly gaining knowledge of a new language. A language known to all those who have kids. The minute more than one mother come together, all we seem to be able to discuss is babies. Babies, delivery, labor, pregnancy. We might be talking about Japan and it's disaster and it ends up to how many hours the baby sleeps each day.

Here I am not being able to keep my tongue from wagging on and on about motherhood, even though I know in my head and heart it's rude to the person whose not even pregnant yet. Recently, I had someone lament about it and from now on I'll TRY very hard to keep a check on it but I have to confess, I think I understand why people cannot stop conversing in a different language when they find a comrade. It's just something they cannot help. Sad, but true !!

I'm a mommy now and boy is it exhausting !! The sleepless nights, the frequent feedings, the incessant crying, the random walks holding the baby causing my arms to ache. The pleasures though are innumerable. Each smile the baby gives me when he looks at me early morning or after feedings or when I enter the room - Precious !!I'd to anything for that smile.

Yet when my mom comes into town to help, I turn into a pampered child. Knowing fully, all my mom wants to do is make life easier for me. To let me sleep as much as possible, feed me all that I love to hog on, make sure my aches and pains are to a minimum. When I cry, she cries. When I laugh looking at my kid, she smiles with pride.

It's a circle of love. I see it in everyone around me. The minute the question of mothers come, there's a collective sigh and a sense of being able to be yourself and do Anything that is truly free in any sense. You know you won't be judged for any action and this is one person who would do anything for your comfort when you are in pain, of any kind.

Today, I know that I would do anything and I mean anything for the smile on my baby's face.

This is the mommy syndrome I guess. When anyone's mommy is close the person is bound to turn into a baby all over again. :-)

So, am finally a mommy. Me - a mother with a son !! Have entered the fascinating, exhausting, loving world of motherhood and what a journey it's turning out to be.

From the pain of delivery to the hourly feedings, changing diapers, roaming around the room with the baby to get a single burp out to playing with the baby and looking on incredulously as the little bundle of joy grows in front of our eyes. Ten fingers, ten toes and the precious smile make one believe in the power of a higher being. How else could this miracle of life come into being?

In two months I've seen him turn into a tiny newborn to a baby whose smart enough to know that when I suck my hand, someone comes running to remove it and I get to play with them. The naughty fiend !! His toothless smile and wordless talk leave me in awe.

On the other hand, I have no connection with the rest of the world. I can feel the void but hey, I'm making a world of my own right now ! ;-)