BEST OF 2012: Christina Hendricks Got Hacked

Greetings, exalted one. Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Superficial Writer, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Photo Boy Solo. (He withheld sex until I wrote that.) I know that you are powerful, mighty reader, and that your anger with us not posting must be equally powerful. As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: These rehashed photo galleries from the past year. They have boobs in them. And sometimes butts.

MARCH

Even though you see absolutely nothing you haven’t seen on a red carpet before and there was only one shot, the Christina Hendricks leaked photo still managed to beat an entire gallery of Nicki Minaj’s ridiculous butt in a bikini which means only one thing: The Internet’s a racist. A horrible, horrible racist. I don’t know how it even looks at itself in the mirror.

The topless pic is the best one. I know it doesn’t show her face, but for fapping reasons I need that pic to be her. I refuse to believe I was fapping to some random faceless stranger on the net. I have standards you know.

Oh, I hope this augurs well for the “Alison Pill Accidentally Tweeted a Topless Pic” post later on. I realize that she already flashed her rack in some movie—which only indicates that the topless pic shouldn’t be all that embarrassing, since her yabbos were already out there in the first place. Still, I can’t recall anything that had me more transfixed this whole year. And not just on this site, I mean the whole damn Internet.