A few thoughts and experiences on being a British born Chinese mum; the trials and tribulations of bringing up my girls generally, and for them to appreciate and embrace the Chinese half of their heritage ... And if you have a spare moment, why not read my biographies, they are updated on a regular basis...

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Thursday, 25 October 2012

My daughter had her friend round to play and after she had gone I asked my daughter to tidy up the toys. It so happened that they had been playing in the guest bedroom, which I was not best pleased about. As usual, I told her tidy up the mess that she had made. I normally do not trust my daughter when she tells me that she had done whatever I had asked, be it tidying up, washing her hands or flushing the toilet!! On this particular occasion I had decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and entrusted her with the task in hand. I wanted to believe that for once she was able to do something properly and hoped that she would tidy her things away nicely.

Later that evening after bathing my youngest daughter I had a sneak peak to see how she had done. Most of the mess was gone but she left some of her tiny Zooble things lying around which her younger sister could easily choke on, now that she was at the age where she can crawl to wherever she wants and puts anything into her mouth.

As I proceeded down the stairs I called to my elder daughter to pick up the Zoobles. As usual she was reluctant to comply and another lecture ensued for a couple of minutes or so about keeping things in their proper places and the safety of her younger sister.

My daughter then proceeded into the guest bedroom to "tidy up". I was halfway up the staircase and remained there in order to check that she was doing was she was asked. Very soon afterwards she appeared at the top of the stairs exclaiming with delight that she had tidied her toys away. I told her that I did believe her and when she asked how I knew that, I told her that it was because the time taken for her to pick up her things and put them away was far too quick. Plus, I did not see or hear her go into her own room put her things back. The insolent child then retorted by saying that she did it quick as a flash so that was why I could not see her.

It was obvious that she had ignored my instructions and lied to my face. I am sick of tired of her constant disobedience and not doing what she had been told to do. By this time was at my wits' end and in order to prevent my temper from flaring even further I decided to get back downstairs to feed my youngest.

After I had put my younger daughter to bed I proceeded to the guest bedroom to retrieve the toys that had supposedly been tidied away. I knew that they were still in that room and saw that they had just been shoved underneath the bed next to the bedside table.

I went downstairs to confront my daughter and showed her what I had found. Because she had blatantly lied to me I angrily told her that I would throw these toys in the bin and that she would never see them again. And off I stormed into the kitchen, angrily throwing them against the inside of the bin. I could see that my daughter's face was dropping; she looked so sad and regretful. She went into the kitchen as I was leaving and I could see that she was going to try and get them back. I had really lost my temper at that point and shouted at her that if she dared to take them out of the bin she would live to regret it! I had made her jump and her hand quickly retracted from the opening of the bin and began to bawl her eyes out at daddy. For a change he supported me and he explained to her about how wrong it was for lying and that it is not tolerated in our house.

However, I am a softy at heart and knowing how expensive these toys were I was truly reluctant to just throw them away in a fit of rage. After my daughter had gone to bed and I had calmed down somewhat I went to retrieve the toys from the bin and kept them hidden away until such time that I felt she behaved well enough to earn them back.

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About Me

I am married with 2 beautiful girls 5 years apart. I am Chinese, was born and brought up in this country but never spoke English until I went to school. I hope that my children will one day be able to speak Cantonese too