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Date day

For those of you that don’t know me very well or maybe even at all, this is a pic of me with my husband, Marc. We met each other in the fall of 2005 through a mutual friend named, AJ. Marc was with his best friend, Mike in the checkout line in Walmart (lol, don’t judge) which is where I was introduced to him. I had an immediate attraction to Marc. Mike and Marc invited my friend and I to a little get together. AJ and I decided to head that way later. I had butterflies in my stomach because I’m super shy when it comes to a guy that I could be into. Plus, I had just started somewhat talking to someone and Marc was going on a date that night. Which once I found that out I was disappointed and left the party to go hang out with the guy I had started talking to. Come to find out, Marc had come back after the movie. The date was more of a friendly date apparently. But I firmly believe that timing is everything and if Marc and I had started seeing each other then, we probably wouldn’t be married today. I had a lot more life lessons to get through before I was ready for “the one.” Plus, I was convinced someone as attractive as Marc would never be into me anyway.

I found out that he worked at the same mall as me and he came into where I worked the very next day to say hello and invite me to hang out with all of them again. I had a date that night so I passed even though I REALLY would’ve preferred hanging out with him. From that point on we would always say hello when we’d pass each other going into work and whatnot. I still would go and hang out with a lot of the people in that group so I got to see him from time to time. I even remember attempting to flirt with him at some point and it was super corny and dorky. Basically, he had no idea that’s what I was trying to do.

A year passes and I had been seeing that same guy from earlier but was miserable. Have you ever dated someone for so long and have no idea why?! Yea, that was me. We made no sense together and he was all sorts of wrong for me and I was wrong for him too. Well, my friend AJ and I went into where Marc worked one afternoon and Marc knew the guy I was dating and asked how we were doing. I replied in a not very convincing way, “we’re okay.” Marc had a disappointed look and said, “damn” as he walked away. AJ was standing next to me and I looked right at him with a confused, yet excited look and said, “ what did that mean?” He said, “I told you he liked you!” I NEVER remember him telling me that but maybe I was too distracted in my horrible relationship that I wasn’t hearing him?! Who knows ha ha! All I know is that interaction helped motivate me to get out of the relationship I was in because it helped me realize that I deserved better. I had never lost interest in Marc but like I said timing was never perfect for us. We ended up starting to chat on AIM (remember that?!). Then we started hanging out and became inseparable.

We started seeing each other regularly in early December of 2006 and haven’t left each other’s side since then. When we hung out I had never laughed so much in my life and felt more myself than I ever had. It took some getting used to not having a jealous and overbearing boyfriend but I got used to it and it felt wonderful. The one good thing that came from past relationships is that I learned how horrible it is dealing with a jealous mate and I knew I never wanted anyone to deal with that from me. So see, life lessons had to occur because I had jealousy and trust issues from being cheated on in the past as well. The guy before Marc helped me realize how stupid it was to be jealous. He would question anything I ever did. He almost tried to stop me from hanging out with my very best friend, AJ simply because he was a guy. Thank God I didn’t lose sight too much because I didn’t listen to him when it came to what friends I could and couldn’t hang out with.

Back to the important story. I grew so much while dating Marc. I learned to have confidence in myself and how to express my emotions. I was comfortable with who I was. I came from an upbringing where we never talked about our feelings when we were upset about something and he came from very opposite. Although it was hard for me to learn it’s the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I always avoided confrontation because it intimidated me but he helped teach me that we could solve problems through talking our feelings out. What a weird concept (lol kidding).

We knew after three months of dating that we wanted to marry one another, but it wasn’t until about a year into our dating that Marc proposed. It was the perfect proposal for us, he asked and I was smitten and giggly and said yes! Then we slow danced to “our song” and we ate the dinner he made. We ended up moving in together and got married slightly over a year later in October of 2008. There’s a lot more that happened from then up until now but it’s been the best journey and we continue to learn so much from one another.

After being married for five years we were surprised with a new adventure. I was expecting our little Harper. We knew we wanted children but we didn’t know when. God apparently knew we needed her in our life because he blessed us with her in 2012. And guess what? We continue to learn more and more about one another and Harper makes our life more complete! She’s the perfect mix of the two of us.

My advice to anyone reading this is to always make sure and laugh with the person you love. When you’re upset with one another, talk it out. Don’t scream and yell…talk. It’s not an easy thing to do all the time but it helps. I truly believe Marc and I have never had a huge fight because we’ve learned to talk to each other and put any anger or frustration aside enough to just talk it out. I don’t know how we manage to do it, but we do. And that is what I think the key to marriage is, simply talking. And just always remember that relationships are just one imperfect person loving another imperfect person. Oh! And one final word of advice….ALWAYS listen to your best friends when it comes to your dating relationships. They know what’s best for you. And lastly, be with someone that brings the best out of you and believes in you!