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Firstly, a belated Happy New Decade Year… everyone. I know I promised a more regular mailer update, but things have sort of been crazy around here lately and if you can’t handle that, I’ll come to your house and punch you in the mouth…to the death.

Now, with the usual threats out of the way, its time for a State Of The Union Address of The Union’s State of Addresses. However, instead of talking about things of the past, we’re going to talk about things of the future. ACT III………… not really. What we’re really going to talk about how we could be coming to a town near you… and if we aren’t, you should move towns. Sorry West Coast, don’t get your hopes up… yet.

This year is shaping up to be pretty intense. We’re putting together some pretty constant tours right now. “What bus will you use on these intense and constant tours?,” some of you may well ask. Well, we’re pleased to tell you that all of the get well cards and flowers and chocolate bars and high-powered industrial strength juicers and foot pajamas that you sent to aid in Jesse Christine: The last of the V8 Interceptors’ swift recovery… failed miserably.

She did not pull through.

In fact, Jesse Christine was lost altogether in a roof top fight with an oversized rat. Dangling from the edge of the building, her very life in the hands of a vengeance-crazed rodent, she pleaded for mercy. The rodent spoke: “Death comes for us all, Jesse Christine: The Last of the V8 Interceptors, but something much worse comes for you, for when you die it will be”…Our valiant bus would take the abuse no more. She let go and plummeted…into a garbage truck. “…Without honor” the rat whispered. That guy from Look Who’s Talking Too and the third episode of Knightwatch pulled the lever and crushed her…to the death.

Luckily, we recovered the body and had just enough ooze left to create a freakishly large and ridiculously strong “Super Jesse Christine: The Last of the Super V8 Interceptors.” We don’t want to jinx it…but we feel we can say with the utmost confidence that there is little to no chance of our new bus being crushed under the weight of a dock.

Speaking of getting crushed under a dock, we’re playing a show February 28th in Nashville’s own 12th and Porter. It is going to be broadcast live on 102.9 The Buzz in Nashville….HOW EXCITING?! (Remember, that’s FM. You AM people are shit out of luck) But seriously now, if you’ve ever had dreams and aspirations of having your voice heard on radio, this could be the night, the night to remember. We’ll make it last forever. All you have to do is come down to 12th and Porter and scream into their broadcast mics…they love it when you do that. If you can’t be there, for some horrible reason, you can possibly stream it on the World Wide Web. Since this is a live broacast, the rules are a little different. It is an early show and we’re the only band playing that night. WE START PLAYING MUSICS AT 9PM. Don’t blow it.

Good news for the people who didn’t make it to the Act II release show. We’re going to play Acts I and II again…only this time, we’re sure as hell not going to do them both in the same night. No. This time we’re doing it in two back to back nights at the A&G Ohio nerd debauchery contest…it’s going to be the awesomest. The dates are March 12th and 13th. Get your tickets now before it sells the hell out!

With impending Tour comes impending Tour Talks. They will more than likely show up on the main news page from now on, in order to save everyone pounds and pounds of confusion. Here’s to swimmin’ with bow legged women.

Speaking of bow legged women…There are lots of new stuffs available in Merchandise Land, and even more stuff on the way. Get ready. New Shirts coming. Patches already here. Puppies….ok, no puppies:

For those of you in the Tennessee area….or even those not from the Tennessee area, you should know that a fierce show is going to happen in Nashville on SUNDAY, MARCH 14th. Makeup and Vanity Set and Magic Hammer (aka – The Dragon) are having a dual album release party at The End, and if that isn’t awesome enough, it gets more and more awesomed by the minute. Anamanaguchi, Sabrepulse, Henry Homesweet, and Starscream are going to be there making party, too. To clarify, when I say “dual album release,” I mean that they are each releasing an album that night…so bring some extra awesome money.

**I’ve heard from “the people who know” that Makeup And Vanity Set’s new album (Self Titled) is going to be very limited in the Physical Copy dept….so pre-order one now, or be at the show to get one. Don’t come crying to me when you finally ask him for one and he man-slaps you right in the mouth.

***I’ve also heard from “other people who know” that Magic Hammer’s new album (Most Extreme Ultimate Thunder) is also a limited Physical Release…but you’ll have to get this one at the show, because he hates Pre-Orders like the Pope hates the devil.