Joe Tripod and Ralph Tripod

My photographic endeavors would not be possible without the assistance of two devotees of stillness: Joe Tripod and Ralph Tripod. Joe, the lighter of the two, accompanies me on hikes to support my self-portrait activities. Ralph does not go with me on hikes because "he ain't my brother, he's heavy." Ralph’s assignments are limited to shots at home or close to the car. Because I value their work, I strive to mention them in the description of photos in which they assisted.

Joe and Ralph take their work seriously and thus prefer not to be called by nicknames. Names like "Tripod Joe" or “Joe T” cause Joe to become unbalanced, which is not conducive to field work. Ralph Tripod feels the same way about "Ralphie Boy" and similar appellations. The names "Joe" and "Ralph" are fine.

Joe is a Slik Sprint Pro GM ("GM" stands for "gray metallic"). I bought Joe in 2004 at Dick’s Cameras of Burien, Washington. Sadly, Dick's Cameras went out of business in 2008. In spite of this blow to his heritage, Joe soldiers on. He weighs 1.97 pounds (893g). In June 2011, Joe had a head transplant while in Salt Lake City. His original Slik head was replaced by a stronger Gitzo head.

Ralph, known in tripod circles as a Manfrotto 3001 BN, came into my life in 2001 at Glazer's Cameras in Seattle. He weighs 3.83 pounds (1.74 kg). Ralph has a Manfrotto ProBall 308 head and for a long time wore padding on his legs. The padding was made of pipe insulation. Ralph appears in the last photo (white bed sheet in the background).

To counter some nasty rumors on the Internet, let me state now that neither Joe nor Ralph consorts with monopods---one-legged supports just don't measure up.