By now, nearly everyone's seen the freakin' hi-larious clip above of Suns center Shaquille O'Neal dissin' the Lakers' Kobe Bryant for not being able to take an NBA championship without him, bustin' rhymes like, "You know how I be/Last week Kobe couldn't do without me," and asking the NBA MVP, "Kobe, for real, tell me how my ass tastes."

Shaq's freestyle rap at a New York nightclub has been all the buzz since TMZ.com posted the video. Now Maricopa County's tired ol' Sheriff Joe's trying to horn in on the publicity, declaring that he's removing Shaq from his posse, all because of The Big Cactus' salty language and his use of the n-word.

"I want his two badges back," Arpaio spat to the Associated Press, referring to Shaq's ceremonial positions as a special deputy and a colonel of the MCSO posse. "Because if any one of my deputies did something like this, they're fired. I don't condone this type of racial conduct."

What a pant-load! Arpaio's calling Shaq a racist? The sheriff who's devoted the last year and a half of his tenure in office to racially profiling brown people? The sheriff whose jails are practically run by race-based gangs like the Aryan Brotherhood? The sheriff who proclaims that every undocumented Mexican is a "criminal" even though at most such individuals are only guilty of a civil violation? The sheriff who does sweeps of freakin' water-parks and reportedly plans to go hunting for Hispanics in Mesa this week?

(For more dope on the upcoming anti-brown sweep of Mesa, check the press release at the end of this article from the Mesa Police Association condemning Arpaio.)

The way Sheriff Joe wishes it would be...

All this because Shaq, a black man, used the n-word, which is part of the parlance of hip-hop. By Joe's senile old logic, that would make not only every rapper alive a racist, but brand much of the African-American community racist as well. Earth to Joe: If you use the n-word and you're African-American, that's acceptable under current cultural rules, like it or not. That'd be like you calling yourself a wrinkled old cracka, Joe. Or referring to your Chief Deputy David Hendershott as a two-ton, pasta-poundin' ofay peckerwood.

But in reality, Joe's cheap-ass publicity stunt has nothing to do with outrage over the use of the n-word, or any other, um, off-color verbiage. Nah, this is all payback for Shaq turning a cold-shoulder on the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office and choosing to become a reserve officer with a real police force, the Tempe PD, instead.

Ever since Shaq was traded to the Suns this year, Arpaio's PR flunkies have been trying desperately to get Shaq to sign on with the MCSO, knowing Shaq's love of legitimate law enforcement, Shaq's past affiliations with Miami Beach PD, and Shaq's plan to pursue a career in law enforcement after his career in basketball's up. In a March 13 Bird item, I warned the Big Aristotle to steer clear of our corrupt top constable, as an affiliation with a questionable figure such as Nickel Bag Joe could taint him with fans.

So now Joe gets his shot at revenge and a little face-time by claiming he's "fired" Shaq from the honorary posse position he appointed Shaq to in 2006. Yeah, Joe, I'm sure Shaq's sittin' on his mounds of moolah somewhere weeping his golfball-size eyes out.

Joe's the real crybaby here. Not only does he NOT get the Big Baryshnikov on his team, he'll likely never get Shaq's endorsement for reelection either. There go Joe's dreams of campaigning with Camel-Shaq Mountain throughout the County. All mean ol' Joe's got left are sour grapes, and a shot at kicking our Sand Land Superman in the shins.

What a pathetic, loser move on the part of our racist lawman. What's next? Joe trying to find some reason to harass, bird-dog or even arrest O'Neal? Hey, for a mean, vindictive little man such as Arpaio, nothing is beyond the pale. "Revenge" is Arpaio's middle name. Or was it "Pettiness"? Maybe Arpaio's got two middle names...

MPA bitch-slaps Arpaio: Here's a press release on Arpaio's upcoming anti-Hispanic sweep in Mesa. Seems there are some good cops. Arpaio just ain't one of 'em.

Sheriff's Tactics Threatening Mesa Citizens and Officers Safety

(Phoenix, AZ) The Mesa Police Association (MPA) has a genuine concern for Mesa police officers and the public's safety as the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office threatens to enter in the City of Mesa after giving a "two day notice". MPA's distress stems from the dangerous atmosphere created by the Sheriff's publicity of his police operations.

"Mesa officers and our citizen's safety are at danger," stated Sgt. Fabian Cota, President of the Mesa Police Association. "The publicity surrounding these operations creates a potential for violence by the gathering of passionate militia groups and endangers the very communities the Sheriff seeks to protect." The Sheriff's operations when entering a city consists of holding a press conference in advance of a local police operation and thereby invites polarized factions to gather in these neighborhoods.

"This method of operation places MPA's member law enforcement officers at risk, because they will place themselves on the frontlines of any confrontation," added Sgt. Cota. According to the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund, approximately 55 percent of officer fatalities between 1998 and 2007 have been from accidental causes. In 2007 approximately 60 percent of officer deaths involved accidental causes.

"If the Sheriff is insistent on entering Mesa, then the MPA demands him to work with the Mesa Police Department in efforts of protecting the safety of Mesa police officers and the general public," said Sgt. Cota."There is spirit of cooperation that exists by abiding by protocol and notifying another agency when you enter their jurisdiction. It is a common courtesy. The Sheriff's office has not attempted to contact our officers to insure everyone's security and adequate resources."

Generally, the MPA supports a role for local law enforcement in the implementation of immigration laws. Local law enforcement has no ability to affect the problems with a porous border, but it can use its resources to remove criminal aliens from our communities.

MPA looks to the support of Chief George Gascón, Mayor Keno Hawker, City Manager Chris Brady and future and current council members to advocate for effective safe law enforcement. To this end, MPA hopes to convince the Sheriff to use good law enforcement practices, make timely notification to local police and pursue his operations in a manner that do not create unnecessary hazards to the community and to the good men and women of law enforcement.

"Lives are in jeopardy, and MPA wants to prevent acts of violence and accidents from occurring. The Sheriff is creating a dangerous situation when emotions run high and weapons are involved," added Sgt. Cota.

Founded in 1989, the MPA's mission is to promote the positive role of Law Enforcement Professionals, and to protect and secure rights and benefits for our members through effective representation with local, state, and national governments.The organization is currently the largest association representing active Mesa Police Officers.