2 Jags Reveals – the Temperature Could Double!

My mistake. Wandered round to see Elizabeth. She pottered off into the kitchen to make a couple of gins, and I read the paper on her coffee table. It was the Daily Mirror. In particular an article by John Prescott on how David Cameron is scuppering Old 2 Jags’ attempt to save us from Global Warming single-handed.

In the course of his self-glorifying, John Prescott reveals that, to save us from Global warming, he has personally flown to Geneva. He tells us about the shrinking ice caps – ignoring the fact that only one ice cap is, of current date, shrinking.

And he tells us that

The recent report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, involving 90 governments and more than 1,000 scientists, said it was getting much worse.

It warned that increased carbon emissions were threatening a global agreement to limit climate warming to a 2C increase by 2050.

It is now possible the temperature could double!

The temperature could double.

It’s hard to know how to respond to that.

Is John Prescott thinking the temperature he’s describing is in Fahrenheit, Celsius or Kelvin? Makes a difference. If it’s Celsius, we’re way beyond anything even the most apocalyptic global warming scientist has predicted. If it’s Fahrenheit, we’re all unbelievably doomed. I mean, in the UK that would mean it was a balmy 60-odd F (18 or so C) in the winter, but a toasty 180F in the middle of hot summers. But if it’s Kelvin – well, on a hot day the temperature in Kelvin in John Prescott’s nightmare could reach 600K+. That’s no joke.

I suppose at least John Prescott can console himself with the thought that he can lay his hands on a seriously air-conditioned Jag, or fly off to Geneva and sit at the top of an Alp. Although even on the top of an Alp, the temperature could hit a serious 550K. These are the horrors that lay ahead of us.

I think I’ll stick to the Star. It may tell us that Princess Diana’s spiritual adviser is giving Duchess Kate diet tips, but at least its science is sound.