A Family Less Ordinary

We are the proud parents of five beautiful
children. Our eldest son Aaron, who is now 20, was diagnosed with autism when
he was 3. Our youngest children, 12-year-old twins Daniel and Gabriel, were
also found to have autism four years ago.

People ask us all the time, whether it is
tough bringing up three children with autism. Honestly, we don’t have an
answer. We have no comparison with what is deemed “normal”. This is our normal. As a family, we go to
movies, we travel, we go swimming. We are not limited in any way.

Aaron is mostly non-verbal. He can say his
name, and a few simple words. His condition was detected when he was much
younger because we knew something was different about him when he didn’t speak
past the age of 2.

The twins are different. They were
diagnosed only at the age of 8 because their symptoms were less obvious. The
only hints were that they were hyperactive, and had learning difficulties in
school.

Aaron has been going to a centre for therapy
since he was a child. There, we met other parents of children with disabilities
and together we formed an advocacy group called “No Limits” some years ago. We
wanted to empower children with disabilities through sports. There was a boy with
autism who was fantastic at swimming and another who was great at running. We met
swimmers with visual disabilities who took part in triathlons.

Through the centre, we also found out about
Special Olympics in the Philippines. We realized that our goals were aligned.
We all wanted to raise awareness of issues faced by people with disabilities
and promote change.

As parents, we wanted our children to be
able to do the things that other people can do and be happy with their
achievements. As a society, we need to provide our children the opportunity to
do that in an inclusive environment, especially for those with intellectual
disabilities which is often less obvious and almost “invisible”.

In the beginning, it was a challenge to get
Aaron to try any sporting activities. He doesn’t like to be out in the sun. He would
get angry and throw tantrums if there was even a drop of perspiration on his
face.

We found other ways to get involved. Both
of us are doctors (Dr Dindo is an ophthalmologist, while Dr Arlyn is a pediatrician).
We decided to put our medical skills to good use, and volunteer with Special
Olympics Philippines’ Healthy Athletes program to provide free eye check-ups to
athletes with intellectual disabilities.

We also got involved in Special Olympics
Young Athletes, a sport and play program for children with and without
intellectual disabilities aged 2 to 7. We would take our children to these
events, and the twins would join in the fun although they were already past the
age limit by then.

Aaron would come too, although he would sit
out most of the activities. The turning point came about three years ago. There
was a unified activity held at Aaron’s school, for children with and without
intellectual disabilities to take part in sports together.

Imagine our joy and surprise when we saw
Aaron playing bocce for the very first time. There was no air-conditioning, but
he stayed the whole day without a word of complaint. Watching him enjoy himself
with the other participants was a big win for us.

Our children inspire and do us proud with
their achievements and compassion all the time. Gabriel won a singing contest
some time ago, and also took part in a poetry contest. And even though Aaron is
non-verbal, he shows his love and care towards his younger siblings in the
little things he does.

Every night, he gathers them and puts them
to bed. If his brother Jacob doesn’t take a bath, Aaron would bring him a fresh
change of clothes to remind him to clean up. And if any member of the family
isn’t home, Aaron waits up.

We know of parents of children with
disabilities who limit themselves. They feel they can’t do certain activities
or travel anymore. But we feel it’s important for us to simply adjust. All it
takes is a bit of patience and improvisation.

When the twins turned 7, we took the family
overseas for a holiday. Daniel is into sweet foods, while Gabriel loves spicy
foods. Aaron, on the other hand, prefers crispy and fried foods. We struggled
to find food that they were used to. It was rather hilarious. In the end, we
solved the issue of Daniel’s craving for a specific dish of spaghetti at a
convenience store selling ready-to-eat pasta.

Going to church was also a struggle when
the children were younger. They get restless having to sit for over an hour, and
would run around and get everyone frustrated with us. Instead of skipping
church, we improvised by standing outside. These days, the children are able to
sit through the entire service without much commotion. Occasionally, there is
still an incident or two, but it’s ok.

When people meet us for the first time,
there is often that hint of pity when they find out about our children. To us,
simple things may be less ordinary, but we cannot live our lives envying
others. We will not take no for an answer. We do not believe in giving up; especially
not on our own children.

7 thoughts on “A Family Less Ordinary”

You mentioned about No Limits, an advocacy program you started up. How may I get in touch with you? I have a super active young adult with autism named Elijah. He might also have some visual issues. Please get in touch when you can. I also want to take part in your efforts to keep awareness ongoing in our country and learn more from your experiences. I admire the lives you are living. Truly, NO limits. I salute you both!!!

Thanks for inspiring me. Our only son was diagnosed before the age of three. Now 5 we see a lot of improvements though. At times it seems so very difficult for us to carry him whenever we go outside such story like yours makes me realize one thing, my son is a blessing to us.

Hi my son is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and is very hyperactive. Is this special olympics organization entertains kids with this kind of disability?
I wanna participate and send him to learn the art of sports.
Please send details soonest time possible.
Thank you

Hi maam/sir! I am an advocate of children with special needs especially those with autism and ADHD. As a SPED teacher, I would like to start the campaign for awareness in my own little ways, here in Cebu City, Philippines, but I need more advice from positive parents who are activists on this matter. If possible to ask some advise, how may I reach you? 🙂