Jul 24, 2012

I've been following Denise Katipunera for quite some time now and I must say that I love the shoes she sells at her online shop! Last Sunday was my lucky day coz I chanced upon a sale. I skimmed through the items hoping that there's something for me and look what I found!

Pretty Bree.. And she's mine! ^_^

I love it because it's casual and chic! And it's a real steal for just Php 525!It has a shipping fee of PhP110 but for these lovelies, who would mind? :)

Now I have another reason to go home for a vacation. See you soon, Bree! :D

Jul 22, 2012

A couple of weeks back, my domain registration expired and I was planning on not renewing it anymore as I don't have much spare time to blog anyway. Good thing J knows me well and he made me realize that I actually don't want to let go of my URL -- my very own space in the www :) So while my subconscious is doing cartwheels and somersaults, I was making a mental note not to waste my money by going back to regular blogging.

For starters, allow me to continue the loooooooong overdue 100-day picture challenge. I have a lot of newer pics to share! :-)

Day 41 - A picture of your favorite weather

Should I say cloudy? Let me just say perfect-for-picnic-at-the-park weather ;-)By the way, this is the view right in front of our SG home.

Day 42 - A picture of you listening to music

I don't have much pictures listening to music so this will have to do.

Day 43 - A picture of you celebrating

J and I turned seven years last June 4th so we celebrated it at Nirwana Resort in Bintan, Indonesia.It's the closest tropical destination to Singapore (more on that soon ^^,)

Jul 20, 2012

...sharing my emotional struggles but this is the best way I can let them all out so please indulge me one last time.

This morning I dreamt about Dad again and in my dream we weren't able to give him a decent interment ceremony. After the blessing in the church, the next thing I saw was his casket getting soaked in the rain. It was a torture seeing it, seeing the first man that you loved not getting the honor he deserves. When I opened my eyes, tears were unstoppable. I cried and cried and cried until I fell asleep again.

As soon as I am back to dreamland, Dad is there again. This time he's with me and my mom, and he's being his usual cheerful self. We exchanged jokes, talked about a lot of happy stuff and we even asked him what heaven is like. Even the ending was on a happy note with him playing pranks on his friends as we walk past them -- exactly how he does it when he was still alive.

And then I realized, after the sad segment of my dream, I could have just had an empty sleep but no, Dad came back to cheer me up. He doesn't want me to dwell on negative emotions and only wants me to remember the happy man that he was. Even in the after life, he cared for me so much and that alone is enough for me to still feel blessed despite the loss. Thanks dad, I love you from the bottom of my heart.

And by the way, when I asked him why we can see him, his answer is, "Because it's raining." What is it with rain that makes spirits visible to the human eye, I too don't know. But if it means being able to spend more time with Dad like he never left, oh God, please let it rain all the time! :)

Jul 14, 2012

You see, before I sleep, I always ask Dad to visit me in my dreams. He rarely does, and on most times, it's vague and I hardly remember what happened the moment I wake up. So when I read my cousin's status in Facebook saying she dreamt about my dad greeting her on her birthday, I was so jealous. He didn't even greet me on mine :(

Maybe there's Facebook in heaven and he was able to read my comment because he paid me a visit in my sleep the next evening. In my dream he asked for a hundred pesos then gave me a change of about eight pesos (yuh, I remember the littlest details this time! :D). A few minutes after he handed me the coins, he saw something that he wanted to buy and told me that he needs the 5-peso coin back. In between laughters, I told him that some things really never change.

I can't help but cry as I remembered that dream on my way to work this morning. Yeah, I still cry at the most random time and place whenever I think about him. I guess I miss everything about Dad. When he was still with us, he would go to work and make both ends meet for the family with his meager income. But during times when his budget falls short and there won't be enough for his motorcycle's gasoline, he would wake me up early in the morning to borrow money so he could go to the office. I get really grouchy when he does that because (1) I hate waking up early; and (2) I'm worried that my stash, too, won't last until my next payday. Now I wish he would still do that because I miss him so much. I can't help but feel bad because now I earn more than enough and I can give him more than a hundred bucks but he's no longer here. It sucks because I may have a 6-digit savings account, the latest gadgets, expensive travels, nice shoes, clothes and bags, but in my heart is a huge hole that only dad can fill.

I wish I could just go back to when my life was a little tougher. At least back then, I have my father :'(