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And We’re Back!

One of the great things about my Mental Circus is that my mood swings never last very long. They hit me fast a furious, and then just as quickly as they came, they’re over and we’re back to the normal old productive House of Hale. My chores are SO far behind, I’m not sure I’ll be able to catch up with everything else going on in the next few weeks. The Little has her doctors appointment with her Autism Assessment tomorrow, I have a hair appointment Wednesday, Thursday is Hubs and Little’s chiropractor appointment, I have an appointment with my therapist on Friday and then the weekend which is the only time I actually get to see Hubs due to our conflicting schedules. Somewhere in there I have to find time to keep up with school work, make it to the gym, take care of the Little, and catch up with my neglected chores. O_O

Actually, I really only have to catch up the dishes. Hubs surprised me and cleaned up the rest of the house this weekend. I didn’t even have to ask him to. I had to run to the gym to get 15.3 out of the way since I missed it on Friday, and when I came back the living room was cleaned up, the trash was out, and the floors were swept and vacuumed. ^_^ I’m not sure where all of this extra motivation and affection is coming from, but hey! I’ll take it! lol. It was nice after we lost the pregnancy back in January, but I never expected it to last this long. Usually his affection comes in spurts. This is the longest span of time he hasn’t turned into a raging grouch since the very beginning of our marriage. I know it’s helped a whole lot now that my emotional storms are infrequent. There for a while I was not a very nice person to be around. If I wasn’t broody and angry I was crying and depressed, and it flip flopped back and forth for days sometimes weeks at a time. One minute I’d be laughing and the next minute I’d be yelling and crying.

To a certain extent my life is always that way, but these swings were intense. Much more intense than my normal daily flux and flow. It was really the first time Hubs had experienced my crazy in full swing. lol. I kind of caught him off guard there I think, but I mean really. When we met and started dating I was super happy living on mile high denial island. I wasn’t my authentic self, still reeling from unresolved issues. Then once we got married and had the Little I felt safe and secure and everything went to hell in a hand basket. Both because I felt safe and secure which was a new experience for me, and because I was trying to adjust to motherhood. Yes, one of the glorious paradoxes with my Mental Circus. When things are going too well, I freak the eff out. The sky could literally start falling and I would be okay with that, but give me some safety and security? Ha! Good luck with that.

Anyway… dishes. Dishes need to be done. I need to stop procrastinating and just get on that already. lol.