“So voting is closed on the TIME 100 poll, and bizarrely I came in at #29 (suck it, Vladimir Putin! ). That doesn’t mean I’ll actually be on their list though because that’s decided by the magazine’s editorial board, not the public, but I feel like it might at least get me an invite to the party, right?

“If it does, I’ll need a date. I’ll be taking applications. Unless Zayn decides to come with me... in which case, applications closed.”