Uncategorized – JUST FOOTNOTEShttp://justfootnotes.com
a call to inter, counter, and cross-cultural living Mon, 02 Jan 2017 15:55:01 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.7.12On Changing the Worldhttp://justfootnotes.com/2016/09/on-changing-the-world/
http://justfootnotes.com/2016/09/on-changing-the-world/#commentsSat, 17 Sep 2016 13:02:47 +0000http://justfootnotes.com/?p=1360Chances are that if you’re reading this post, and you’re human, the thought of changing the world is at least a little appealing to you. Maybe it’s not what drives you or gets you out of bed in the morning, but let’s face it – you wouldn’t turn the opportunity down, would you?

And, if we could just go ahead and bypass the hard work and promise that the incredibly difficult and tragic days wouldn’t come, who wouldn’t want to be a Malala or Nadia Murad or Kid President? Maybe you don’t have a hero complex, but can you honestly say you don’t have the tiniest dream about being a hero?

And then, of course, there’s those of us who do get out of bed for the hard work, who relish the late nights (in the morning), and who brace ourselves (and appropriately stock the freezer) for the difficult and tragic days. There are the few who actually and actively do want to change the world.

Sometimes we are called optimists. Or naive. Or dreamers. Or crazy.

And we acknowledge it, too, don’t we? That we are all those things that people call us? We maintain our belief that we can really change the world, all the while knowing that we can’t.

We share quips of wisdom along the lines of changing one person’s world, or casting stones and making ripples. We talk about building the future and casting out darkness.

And I know this, people, because this is my job! This is what I do every day. I’m not criticizing it!

This last week, though, I got back from a really awesome trip to Northern Iraq. I mean, I am still slightly euphoric from my time there, it was just such a highlight. But I was prompted to think long and hard about what my work is accomplishing in the world.

While I was watching some of the 150 students that we are currently serving in our programs rehearse for a theater exhibition full of smiles and pride and confidence, I discussed with a friend the impending conflicts that will come in the next months, sending hundreds of thousands of people into a state of chaos and loneliness and trauma. We talked about how the compassion is wearing thin and where people banded together in unity against the “Other” of ISIS, that bond is weakening, and people are starting to see their differences again.

The victim is a sinner, too, and darkness and hurt only beget more of the same.

Can we cast out the shadows with light? Yes, but a small light cannot breach every darkened corner in such an expanse as we live in.

So, is it all for naught? Will the students we have poured into this summer just disappear into the waves of negative media and the throngs of displaced people crying out for something different, something better?

Do we work tirelessly to change the world, pretending that we believe we could actually achieve our goals of peace, or life, or an end to poverty, or the demise of hunger?

If I can’t actually change the world, does what I can do matter?

And then I was challenged with my frame of reference. Will I change the world? No. I will not. But, I know the One Who ultimately will. And He is the reason why I try.

I know that I will not change the world, and that’s okay, because that’s not my goal. It may be the discourse I use or the verbiage that communicates my vision, but it is not actually what drives me.

If I get out of bed because I think I am actually going to say or do or write something that will alter life for humanity, then I might as well invest in a better mattress and those fancy sheets and get comfy.

But it’s okay, I get up and I keep working because I don’t anticipate changing humanity. I get up and keep working because I personally have been changed, and working for peace and justice and fulfillment reflects the One who changed me.

Believing I can change the world is short-sighted and self-centered. Reflecting a citizenship that reflects my Redeemer on the other hand, is obedience.

I love the least because that’s what He did. I hold hands with the broken-hearted, because that’s what He does. I fight for justice, because that’s what He died for.

My work is not primarily about me, and it is not primarily about Kurdistan or education or peace. It is primarily about Jesus and what He has presented as a right and good Kingdom. It’s not here, goodness don’t we know that? It’s not here, but I am compelled to live like it is.

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. (Matthew 6:9-10)

I know I will not change the world. It’s okay. You won’t either. But, if you have been changed, you sure ought to look like it, and the world around you that you touch should start to look more and more like something God designed, because you’re there.

Don’t focus on the world, focus on the change.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)

(Thanks, Raby, for challenging me on this.)

]]>http://justfootnotes.com/2016/09/on-changing-the-world/feed/1{Repost} To Justus, on Justicehttp://justfootnotes.com/2016/05/repost-to-justus-on-justice/
http://justfootnotes.com/2016/05/repost-to-justus-on-justice/#respondWed, 04 May 2016 18:40:05 +0000http://justfootnotes.com/?p=1333I personally revisited this post last week. It popped into my mind as I was sitting and talking with a Yezidi friend and co-worker. It made me sit back a little bit and see how this day over a year and a half ago impacted me, but impacted me about something I was then so entirely ignorant about.

I’m not sure that I had ever heard of a Yezidi before the day that I went to the protest at the White House, and now . . . I teach them English, drink tea with them, let them hold my baby and ride around in the car with them for hours. They are the people I spend the most time with these days.

And it’s still true that they face a flood of injustice. So, let’s revisit August 2014 . . .

to Justus (then four months old) on justice . . .

{and all those who love justice}

I learned a lot today, little bud. My heart is full and thought-full. Thanks for being a part of it with me, and being this part of my life.

Today was hot, and you were pretty awesome as we walked several blocks to make it to the front lawn of the White House. When we got there, the ambulance and fire trucks were working on what I didn’t know, and the crowd was waving their neon painted posters and chanting various slogans in time with each other.

I looked around, and it got to me when I saw the sign “What if it were your child?” I leaned down to explain to you what was going on, but then I looked at your little face, and heard your name in my head. Justus. Zafer. Justice. Will be victorious. And suddenly my throat was tight and I couldn’t tell you what I wanted to.

I couldn’t tell you that these people had family and friends living in a place where they were threatened with the sword if they didn’t either change their religion or leave their homes. That these people were facing an ethnic genocide because they didn’t align with the ISIS values. That families were trapped on top of a mountain and dying from thirst and hunger. I couldn’t tell you that these people were being treated very, very unfairly. And how desperately they were looking for justice.

Justice is not victorious today. And it won’t be this year, or next, or ever in your lifetime. We know that.

But we do know that God’s desire is that justice prevail. We know that God’s character knows no injustice. And so, we as His image-bearers are meant to chase hard after justice and give this broken world a little glimpse of the completely just God we know and the perfect world that awaits those who hope in Him.

I hope, baby, that you’ll be a justice-chaser.

I admit, I was tempted to roll my eyes at the group next to the Yezidis who were out chanting things like “Thanks Obama, I still live with Mama” and “Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work I want to go!” But then I thought, injustice is injustice, whether it’s being refused a fair wage, or refused basic human rights.

Justus, I hope you champion the little guy, no matter who the bully is.

If it’s the Christian family who is being threatened by the Islamic State; if it’s the Muslim friend at elementary school who is mocked for his lunch; if it’s a little girl being teased by the high school guys; if it’s a man falsely accused of stealing money; if it’s a large corporation who is being slandered by competitors – show them what justice is, and why it matters.

I hope your tongue isn’t as timid as mine.

I hope that for you, speaking up against injustice, and speaking hope and life into the oppressed is easy. I hope your stomach doesn’t tangle thinking of striking up a conversation with someone who is hurting. I hope your heart and your hands are open to love those around you and that you take every opportunity to demonstrate Christ to the least of these.

And, little one, I hope, in all your justice-chasing, you remember where real hope lies.

It’s not those red and white stripes, or that gigantic white building that is going to provide a respite. It’s not a wad of dollars, or seeing someone end up in prison. Real hope, real justice comes from that gnarled, knotted, wooden cross that sat on a hill outside of Jerusalem all those years ago. The day that Jesus flipped justice on its head by taking our place, by enduring the greatest injustice so that hope could be ours. That’s where the real hope is, baby. Jesus owns true justice, because He bought it with His life.

Justus, thanks for being there with me today. Thanks for letting me use your stroller as a cart to hand out granola bars from, and to offer prayers to those who are confused at the injustice of this world. Thanks for being a constant reminder of our calling to chase justice here and now and also of the hope we have of a future perfect justice.

]]>http://justfootnotes.com/2016/05/repost-to-justus-on-justice/feed/0Love Never Failshttp://justfootnotes.com/2016/04/love-never-fails/
http://justfootnotes.com/2016/04/love-never-fails/#respondWed, 27 Apr 2016 19:54:10 +0000http://justfootnotes.com/?p=1313Ellie Holcomb has a beautiful album called “As Sure As the Sun” which has been on repeat in my head, on my phone, and in the car for the last several months. {If you have Amazon Prime you can stream the entire album for free! Highly recommended!}

One of the songs is “Love Never Fails.”

I remember driving around when I first started listening to this album and wanting to skip the song, because in my head I argued with Ellie, “Yes it does, Ellie. Love does fail, and I can give several scenarios to prove it.”

But lately I’ve been letting that song sit more in my heart, and reminding myself that love, in the real sense, is an essence of God’s character, and His character of love never fails. As I’ve been reading through the Psalms recently, I’ve seen examples of Him remembering His steadfast love, and His steadfast love never failing, and even when His people made grave mistakes, He didn’t withhold His steadfast love from them.

And so, I’ve been revisiting the song, and actually praying along with Ellie, “Help me believe that this is true, help me to love like you do, help me to live like love never fails.”

So, even when we see love failing on a daily basis, is it possible to live like love doesn’t fail? Is it possible to live with the love of God informing our hearts? I hope so, and today I want to walk through the song and examine a love that never fails in the context of family.

Let’s be honest, this is just me walking through the song, and asking questions of my own heart in my own context, but I hope and pray it is an encouragement to you to do the same.

Love is patient, Love is kind

How do I respond to the sixteenth exclamation of the construction vehicles, or the like-new realization of the characters that we pass every day when we leave the apartment complex? How do I treat those I share my house with? Do I make an effort to compliment and praise them?

Love doesn’t wait to cross over to the other side

When I am feeling unloved or uncared for, do I isolate myself and feel pity for myself until my family notices and changes something? Or do I continue to love like God loves, even if I feel that it’s not reciprocated? Do I jump to actively love my husband and my kids? Do I keep making the coffee and favorite dinners, playing games and reading the same books, washing the clothes and cleaning the house even if it is not met with the response I hope for?

Well it’s worth never giving up, It’s worth holding on!

Do I believe that love is a worthy pursuit? Do I think that it matters what love looks like in my house? Do my beliefs compel me to pursue and demonstrate Calvary love? Does love keep me at the table, talking through the hard conversations rather than running to the closet or leaving the house?

Love doesn’t strut, It is not proud

Do I hold myself in a higher position in my heart than those in my house? Do I secretly put myself on a pedestal because of something I think or do or believe that in my mind is better than what they do?

Love will make sure to be seeking others out

Do I ‘check-in’ on the hearts of my family members? Do I ask why they’ve been quiet or upset? Do I question the hard things, like if they’re walking with Jesus and guarding their hearts?

Love doesn’t try to keep the score, It sides with forgiveness

Do I hold things over those in my household? Do I count how many times I got up with the baby in the night, or how many times I cooked in a week, how many diapers I changed? Do I let numbers inform my readiness to give? Do I easily forgive my family members, even if they don’t ask for it?

Love has eyes that see your pain, Love will never run away

Do I step into the hard situations that family is facing? Do I offer more than pity or condolences, but an actual posture of love that will not shy away from both real confrontation and real comfort? Do I sit in the hard places holding hands and crying with my spouse, kids, brothers, sisters, mother, father? Do I embrace discomfort of my own for the sake of the love of the cross?

It holds out hope, It holds out trust

Do I offer true hope from the true source in times of heartache? Do I point to Jesus and the reality of His love and truth and how that meets my family where they are? Do I offer more than platitudes, but a personification of real change?

Love will always be enough

Do I believe that God’s love is enough for me? Do I let God’s love complete me, and not require anyone else in my family to fulfill that role that they cannot? Do I let God’s love fill me up so I can pour it out?

Love never fails, and that’s a promiseLove never fails, help me believe it

Help me to trust that this is trueHelp me to love just like You doOh, Lord help me to live likeLove never fails!

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God – may we all, tears or no tears, through the triumphs and tragedies of this life find our completion – our champion on the good days, and our comforter on the bad ones – in You. May we know that You hold our hearts in Your hands, and that You desire the best for our eternal good, and Your present glory. Let us not become so focused on our own feelings that we miss the beauty and glory of the Cross in our pain.

]]>http://justfootnotes.com/2016/04/for-the-one-whose-tears-refuse-to-fall/feed/0Resting & Redeeminghttp://justfootnotes.com/2015/10/resting-redeeming/
http://justfootnotes.com/2015/10/resting-redeeming/#respondFri, 30 Oct 2015 17:43:59 +0000http://justfootnotes.com/?p=1215“Inshallah tomorrow. Or next week. Or three months from now.” Or, as a friend said in prayer this morning, “God, there’s a lot of waiting in this country.”

I believe it was when I was in high school or University that my mom told me she was starting to pray for me to learn flexibility. I think bundled up in that prayer she was asking God to teach me patience, open hands, trust, and to give up my desire for control over the direction that my story was going.

I’ve never really noticed myself as a control freak, or type A personality, especially not as it relates to other people. I have very high conflict avoidance and often don’t worry too much about what people around me are doing. But when it comes to my own life, I am a perfectionist. I want so badly to know that I’m doing all the right things and checking all the right boxes. Add onto that that I had pre-written my life story when I was in second or third grade including when I would meet my future husband, where we would honeymoon, and how we would end up on the field in Africa.

My mom’s prayer all those years ago has been a constant work of God in my life. Little by little, He has chipped away at the control I wanted to hold onto. I have found myself in positions that I would never have thought I could smile through before, and yet through her faithful prayers, I have found grace to accept what doesn’t fit my own scripted storyline.

However, I still have a deep struggle when it comes to finding the balance of hard work and giving up control. To find the balance between resting in a perfect God with a perfect plan and “redeeming my time, because the days are evil.” I have always puzzled a little bit at that verse, but was sure that it meant that if there was something I could be doing, then I should be doing it.

Fast forward to these days and weeks, when I am counting down until we travel back to the U.S. to meet our second baby. We came here, to Kurdistan, to set up our NGO and get programs running to help provide education for kids affected by conflict, and particularly by ISIS. We want so deeply to do something good to help those who have been at the receiving end of such evil. And yet, there is a lot of waiting in this country. I’m doing what I can, or what I think I can, but I want to do so much more. We had hoped to start running programs more than a week ago, and some days I find myself still sitting here, not twiddling – I have a toddler, I don’t twiddle – but wondering why I’m not doing so much more.

I feel like, somewhat, I have come to the place where I’m willing to relinquish the story-writing to God, but I tend to think that once He writes a section, I have my responsibilities to carry out. I have a very hard time seeing rest as part of His plan. Because, let’s face it, rest is hard to control! Not to mention it feels like the easy out, and could that ever be part of His plan?

I was reminded this morning that it is a lie to think that God’s love is conditional on our usefulness. He does not fixate on our utility, but loves us as children regardless of what we do or don’t do for Him. So, in these days when my plans are put on hold, and through the circumstances God is telling me to “wait, daughter,” I am trying to see the beauty of that rest. I am constantly dwelling on the fact that He is the God not bound by time, and although I feel constricted by it, I am desperately trying to let go of my desire for control in checking boxes and “redeeming that time” and follow His gentle lead.

Rest, for those of us who like to go and do and accomplish, can be an unwelcome blessing and an invitation for us to hold up our hands and say, “God, I can handle it! I can do these things for you! Don’t doubt me!” His insisting on our rest does not in the least mean that He was doubting us, but quite possibly that He just wants to gift us with more of Himself. He wants to be in control, He wants to lead us down the paths He is establishing for us. God’s giving rest does not mean He is sidelining us, but rather that He is taking the pen out of our hands and asking us to trust.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that by doing, doing, doing, you are controlling God’s favor towards you. God’s favor, His love, His extravagant goodness is lavished on us because of Jesus and Jesus only. Our futile doing only serves to bend our focus in ourselves and away from the Story-teller. Keep you gaze on Him, friend. Do what He tasks, and rest when He asks.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.

]]>http://justfootnotes.com/2015/10/resting-redeeming/feed/0When He Doesn’t Give Us The Scripthttp://justfootnotes.com/2015/09/when-he-doesnt-give-us-the-script/
http://justfootnotes.com/2015/09/when-he-doesnt-give-us-the-script/#commentsTue, 29 Sep 2015 14:30:49 +0000http://justfootnotes.com/?p=1133{This post has been written to connect with the weekly prompt over on Velvet Ashes.}

I love stories. I’m pretty sure I always have. I’m convinced that we are story-people, that storying was intentional when God created us. I love how infinite God uses stories so often to meet us in our feeble-mindedness and teach us big lessons about Himself and about the Gospel. I love that I can trust my life, my story, to the Master Story-teller and trust that He will write something beautiful.

But . . . there are days. There are days when it doesn’t quite all make sense to me. There are days when it seems like I’m to move on to the next page, but the next page just isn’t there. Or my line is up, but my script is gone. Obviously, none of us have a script to life. I’m sure we all have days where we desperately wish we did, or we could at least get the storyboarded concept God’s going for. But in His grace, He asks us to trust Him.

I’ve been thinking about this this week, about not having the script. What if I say the wrong lines? What about when the story is going in a direction that doesn’t seem to make sense? What about when what I believe about God or the Gospel doesn’t seem to align with what’s happening in my story?

I was frustrated with a cross-cultural situation this week in which I felt I was stepping out into what God would have wanted from me, how He would have wanted me to act in light of the Gospel, but it was misread and rather than adorning the Gospel, I ended up sending confused and confusing messages. Part of me was upset. ‘God! I thought you were trying to stretch me in these areas You’ve recently pointed out! I was trying! Now, I only feel like I’ve failed You. I wish I would have had the script.’

I’ve been challenged through this situation in two areas:

The story is not primarily about me. Looking back, yes . . . I was trying to step out in areas that have recently needed attention: loving the people I came to serve, not being reserved or shy, stepping out and being friendly, being bold in who I am here. But, the fact that I was thinking through the scenario in light of what I had done and how I had improved shows that I’d forgotten who the real Hero of the story is. I am here and being pushed out of my introverted shell only because of Jesus. He compels me, and when I start focusing on myself and making myself the central character, it’s not surprising that I lose sight of the plot.

The script may not be what I’d expect, but I don’t have to edit it. I remember in high school struggling with people accusing me of things that I hadn’t done, and wanting to lash out or push back because “well, won’t that paint a bad image of Christians? If they are talking about me like that when I didn’t actually do it?” I had a wise friend remind me then of I Peter 2:22-23:

He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.

Even Christ did not feel the need to defend Himself, though He had done no wrong. Rather, He trusted that God knew what He was doing and that He would take care of it. I might have left the other day with an assumption made about me that I would never want anyone to think was true about someone who loved the Gospel, but you know what? I’m going to trust that God knew what He was doing. I may be the only chance some of these people have to see Christ, and so it is important that I take that seriously, but I am human and people are human and I am never going to perfectly represent Christ and the Gospel. But that’s okay. Because God is God with or without me. My mistakes do not limit Him, nor do my fumbles discredit Him.

If you ask me, the story He’s been writing with the world has been pretty amazing thus far, and I’m going to do my best to leave my own story in His hands. Who I am to question the Author?

]]>http://justfootnotes.com/2015/09/when-he-doesnt-give-us-the-script/feed/2He Sees You Too, Dear Stared-At Onehttp://justfootnotes.com/2015/09/he-sees-you-too-dear-stared-at-one/
http://justfootnotes.com/2015/09/he-sees-you-too-dear-stared-at-one/#commentsSun, 13 Sep 2015 13:30:18 +0000http://justfootnotes.com/?p=1087I am blonde-haired and blue-eyed. Have been since I was a baby. Well, once I got hair, that is.

And now I have a very blonde-haired, blue-eyed little boy. And a very pregnant stomach. And I live in the Middle East.

Do you know what that means? We get stared at. A lot.

I’ve been experiencing this for the past five years, but I don’t know that ever in my life will it feel ‘normal.’ I grew up in Western culture, and staring is rude. You either need to learn how to be discreet, or buy sunglasses, according to my mom. But just flat-out staring is unacceptable.

Fast forward to my adult life when loads of children, and lots of grown women and men, will openly turn and watch me walk by, and you know what I hear in my head? “That’s rude!” And it’s uncomfortable, and I don’t like it. If I’m being honest.

I don’t like seeing passengers in the next car turn in their seats to watch me, I don’t like having people randomly come up and ask to take pictures with me before depositing a baby in my lap and maybe asking my name at some point. I don’t like being a novelty because I look different than everyone else.

These days, quite a bit of it gets pawned off on my Justus. Because, obviously, he’s way cuter! Thankfully he is usually quite gracious, but even for him it can be a bit much some days. Yesterday, we walked through our small grocery store in the middle of the day (aka, the slowest time when hardly anyone is out) and his cheeks got pinched three times. He is constantly being taken from us and trained as waiter, or barista, or produce manager. And as cool as the attention seems one day, it becomes heavy and tedious after a while. Sometimes, I just want to run and hide, I don’t want to be on display, and I don’t want to be scrutinized.

I will be honest, some days the attention has led to a very bad attitude and a hesitation to be out in the culture.

But thankfully, God is a gracious teacher. A week or so ago, as I was getting frustrated with the group of people just standing and watching me, God reminded me that part of the privilege of living here is showing Christ to a people who may never have another opportunity to see Him. Every time someone is staring at me, I have the chance to demonstrate the love and graciousness of my Savior and hope that the day that those people hear the Gospel, I will have done nothing to discolor it. I hope that when they hear the Gospel, I will have done whatever possible, even just in smiling and nodding, to make the fragrance of the message even sweeter.

So, recently, when the ire bubbles up and I want to just cower down and hide because I feel awkward and the object of someone’s rudeness, I try to remind myself that I have the opportunity to be myself and be selfish, or to let Christ shine through me, and remember that it’s not about me. It is liberating and encouraging to make the moment about Him. This passage has been going through my mind recently . . . well, actually only verse 14, but as I read the whole passage, I found it very fitting:

“Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees,and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” (Hebrews 12:12-15)

And you know what else has been an encouragement? Knowing that when I make the moment about Him, He sees it. He knows. He was stared at too, and He knows that I hate it. But He knows when I choose to honor Him through it, or when I choose to honor myself through it.

So, to those of you who are stared at, or scrutinized, when you find yourself the minority . . . He sees you. He wants to see you see Him in the moment. So strengthen your knees, strive for peace, don’t let anyone watching you miss out on the grace of God. You may be the only chance they have to see Christ.

God does not fit Himself into the box in my mind labeled “God” even though I have intentionally filled that box with grand and glorious adjectives and characteristics. I have claimed He is holy, and He is. I have told friends He is my Provider, and He is. I have shared over and over again how good He is, and He is indeed good.

But He does not hold me to the limits I put on Him. The petty constraints I order my day by. “If I obey Him, God will bless me.” “If I pray, then this thing will happen.” “If I faithfully read my Bible, God will show me what He wants me to do.”

Like the doings of my God depended on me. No.

I’ve been humbled and in awe recently to watch my God abundantly bless me when I haven’t obeyed Him. I’ve seen Him make things happen when I’ve forgotten or forsaken to pray. I’ve seen Him direct my steps even when my Bible sat on the bedside table for too many days in a row.

Would I like you to know these things? No. Not really. I’d be much more comfortable with my faith if I could tell you that I was doing all those previous ‘list things’ right and now I am proclaiming God’s goodness in my life because I’ve earned His attention, His favor, His love.

But, it’s just not true. I’ve held an inaccurate view of God. God’s treatment of me has absolutely nothing to do with me.

It has everything to do with Himself and with Jesus.

Himself because, when it really comes down to it, God doesn’t do things contingent on my actions . . . ever. He does things because they make His name great. He does all for the glory of Himself, because He is the only One Who deserves glory. And so He blesses me because it proves to me again how great He is. He directs my ways because He gets glory from that. Everything strings back to Him. Everything finds it’s beginning and end in Him and in His glory.

And with Jesus because He was and is perfect. He is the picture of the Child God wants to see when He looks at me. And it is what He sees when He looks at me. He doesn’t bless me based on my spinning more plates or running faster on my hamster wheel. He doesn’t lead me because I’ve acquired enough ‘Christian points’ for the week. He blesses me and He leads me because I am in Christ.

I have been overwhelmed by blessing recently, and oh so tempted to feel guilty that I can’t return the favor, or live up to the amount of blessing being given to me. But I was never intended to. I was meant to soak it in, let it seep in deeply, show me who my God is, my God without limits and without boxes. And praise Him. Loudly, publicly, passionately. Because He is great, because He is worthy, because He is everything.

Scripture for consideration:

And you shall know that I am the Lord, when I deal with you for myname’ssake, not according to your evil ways, nor according to your corrupt deeds, O house of Israel, declares the Lord God. (Ezekiel 20:44)

For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name’s sake you lead me and guide me. (Psalm 31:3)

God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption,so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” (I Corinthians 1:28-32)

For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ. (Romans 5:17)

“Give ear, O heavens, and I will speak, and let the earth hear the words of my mouth. May my teaching drop as the rain, my speech distill as the dew, like gentle rain upon the tender grass, and like showers upon the herb. For I will proclaim the name of the LORD; ascribe greatness to our God! “The Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is he. (Deuteronomy 32:1-4)

]]>http://justfootnotes.com/2014/10/an-inaccurate-god/feed/0In the night . . .http://justfootnotes.com/2014/09/in-the-night/
http://justfootnotes.com/2014/09/in-the-night/#respondThu, 25 Sep 2014 13:30:38 +0000http://justfootnotes.com/?p=923“If you want to get really scared, you should read the ISIS message to America on twitter.” he said to me.

“Why would I want to get really scared?” I asked. “What would that help?”

—————-

Yesterday, I heard some of the statements that ISIS made in their published treatise. Statements like . . .

“O Americans, and O Europeans, the Islamic State did not initiate a war against you, as your governments and media try to make you believe. It is you who started the transgression against us, and thus you deserve blame and you will pay a great price.You will pay the price when your economies collapse. You will pay the price when your sons are sent to wage war against us and they return to you as disabled amputees, or inside coffins, or mentally ill. You will pay the price as you are afraid of travelling to any land. Rather you will pay the price as you walk on your streets, turning right and left, fearing the Muslims. You will not feel secure even in your bedrooms.“

In my waking hours, I don’t generally live in much fear. Do I think ISIS is a real threat? Yes. Is it theoretically terrifying? Yes. But I know and can tell myself that worrying about it isn’t going to change anything, and will only rob today of its joy.

But 5:30 in the morning? When in my dream I’m in an apartment with a bunch of friends and someone pounds on the door and the door opens and I see and know within an instant that it’s ISIS with a gun and he’s here to kill us? Instinctively I run to the back bedroom where Jeremy was napping, I tell him I love him, and then I turn back to the front at once knowing I’m going to be shot, and at the same time hoping Jeremy will be quiet and still enough that they won’t notice him there.

{Okay, caveat for accuracy – in my dream I knew that ISIS was who was supposed to be there, but the man at the door was definitely Boko Haram.}

My eyes popped open, and immediately this line came back to me: “You will not feel secure even in your bedrooms.”

I didn’t have quite the presence of mind to talk myself out of fear, but in that moment I did see what good the fear could do.

I reached out right away for my phone, on my bedside table. I opened my ESV app, and I went directly to Isaiah 26. And read it. And read it again. I was amazed at how it spoke directly to my fears.

“We have a strong city; he sets up salvation as walls and bulwarks.

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the LordGod is an everlasting rock.

In the path of your judgments, O Lord, we wait for you; your name and remembrance are the desire of our soul.

My soul yearns for you in the night; my spirit within me earnestly seeks you.For when your judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world learn righteousness.

If favor is shown to the wicked, he does not learn righteousness; in the land of uprightness he deals corruptly and does not see the majesty of the Lord. O Lord, your hand is lifted up, but they do not see it. Let them see your zeal for your people, and be ashamed. Let the fire for your adversaries consume them.

O Lord, you will ordain peace for us, for you have indeed done for us all our works. O Lord our God, other lords besides you have ruled over us, but your name alone we bring to remembrance.

O Lord, in distress they sought you; they poured out a whispered prayer when your discipline was upon them.

We have accomplished no deliverance in the earth, and the inhabitants of the world have not fallen. Your dead shall live; their bodies shall rise. You who dwell in the dust, awake and sing for joy!

Come, my people, enter your chambers, and shut your doors behind you; hide yourselves for a little while until the fury has passed by. For behold, the Lord is coming out from his place to punish the inhabitants of the earth for their iniquity, and the earth will disclose the blood shed on it, and will no more cover its slain.

{selections from Isaiah 26}

The good of the fear in the night? It sent me running to the only One who can legitimately quell my fears. And He can do so because He is the One writing my story, and He’s not going to mess it up. I love that this chapter offers hope not only to those who are living in fear, but it offers hope to those who are seemingly crushed by the adversary. His dead shall live!! His dead are not dead.

Are you living in fear, friend? Take heart, He is a God who knows and He will do what is best for His name. May these truths bless you as they have blessed me.

Are you afraid? Trust God, He is trustworthy! (vs. 3-4)

Are you afraid? Let it drive you, push you, pull you, chase you into the arms of the Father. (vs. 8-9)

Are you afraid? Recall His previous work. (vs. 12-13)

Are you afraid?Remember that this life is not the end. His dead shall live! (vs. 18-19)

We don’t need to live in fear. We know the final outcome! But when moments of fear come, let them reassure your soul that He is in control, and thank heavens we are not. I don’t have any solutions for the problems we are facing in this world today, but I know that He does, and I am purposing to let Him calm my heart. May He do the same for you.

I was trying to think of the best way of jumping back into this blogosphere, and the best I could come up with was “tide’s out.”

I feel like most of the pieces of my life you knew about before are all still here, with a few subtractions and a few additions, but as the tide has changed things are just slightly rearranged. Thankfully, I am learning to trust the Rearranger, and I know that He’s going to do something great with the Rearranged landscape of my life.

Let me give you a quick run-down of life currently, so we can move past this whole big pause awkwardness and just resume *normal* blogging.

We went to Turkey! Yay! That was super fun. We really enjoyed the time with friends and exploring. It came on the tail-end of a two and a half week business trip for Jeremy, so it was nice to spend some time together!

We moved! We are still in D.C. but now in a bigger place across the river. We are thoroughly enjoying the new place and exploring all there is to see around! I’ve been getting out biking, running, and walking and there is so much to see and enjoy around us!

We ‘officially’ opened our language school, but things are going slower than we would have hoped. Nevertheless we are looking at the positives and trusting God to move us forward.

Justus is growing! I have been enjoying every day with my little Bug so much. He is such a joy to have around and I’m so excited to be a part of his life.

Looking forward, I’m excited to share some things with you that God has been teaching me, and I hope to hear from some of you what God has been doing in this season of your own life. Also, I have some good books lined up to share with you. Unfortunately, I’m just {hopefully} on my way out of a reading drought. I just could not get into anything! But I’ve got two that I’m hoping to share with you in the next couple of weeks, so that should hopefully jumpstart things.

So, hopefully this makes a little sense of my recent silence. It’s been good for me, but I’m excited to jump back into blogging, for the ways that it challenges and stretches me, and gives me opportunities to think and learn.