Disclaimer: I don’t own Domoto Koichi or Domoto Tsuyoshi.
They own each other.

Warning: This story contains Bishonnen
Ai. Do not read if you are offended by Male/male love

Warning two: This story discusses non-consensual sexual
abuse and violence. Do not read if you are offended by this

Archiving: The only place that has permission to archive
this story is Katrinka’s page. No one else may archive this without the express
permission of the author!

Time: Summer 1996

Domoto Tsuyoshi was cleaning the main room of the senior
dorms. It was a fairly easy job.He
didn't mind. He thought of it as keeping himself useful. So when everyone else
was enjoying the Saturday afternoon, he was working. He had thrown
on an old T-shirt and a pair of shorts. He didn't care how he looked when he
was cleaning. He was caring a plastic trash bag; he stopped at a table which
was covered with used paper cups and plates. He picked each one up and put it
in the bag.

"Are you sure you don't want me to help?" Okada
Junichi asked from a table in the corner.

"It's okay, finish your homework." He gave a
half smile.He could see himself in
Okada. Perhaps it was because they both where from the Kinki region. They could
speak to each other, and no one would tease
them about their accents.

"Why do you do this everyday?" The teenager
asked. He had all of his school books out on the table. Because of his busy
schedule he had to catch up with homework.

"When you get my age, you'll understand."
Tsuyoshi went to the next table. There wasn't as much trash on it. Just a few
paper towels and a plate was on it.

"You're not old! You're only a year and a half older
then me!'The teenager insisted.

Tsuyoshi gave another smile. His friend still didn't
realize an idol had to be young. Tsuyoshi was
getting older every day. He had to make
himself useful so that management wouldn't think he was a burden.

"You know, if you don't get back to work, you'll
never be able to have some free time." Tsuyoshi teased.

Tsuyoshi gave another smile. He knew that Okada had a
huge crush on his V6 leader. "See, you should listen to your
sempai's."

"Yes sir." Okada went back to his
homework.

His fellow Kinki Kid came into the room. Even on a
Saturday afternoon, Koichi was impeccably dressed.His casual clothes made him look like a male
model.Koichi had always taken pride in
his looks.The Kinki Kids where one of
the top groups in the agency. Tsuyoshi knew that most of their popularity
rested on his handsome friend's shoulders.

Koichi gave his partner the look, as he thought of it.
The look was a long lingering sweep of his body. One that made him feel as if
he was nude. "How's the cleaning coming?"

"Great." He nodded at Okada. The young man was
his friend, but he knew he couldn't trust him fully. He had this
terrible habit of reporting what he saw to management.

Koichi gave him a half smile."Tsuyoshi, can you help me check the
rice?"

"I'm busy." It was a game they played. Koichi
was in charge of the rice, but that was an extremely easy chore. His need of
help was more about the need to be alone with
his partner.

"I could use a break." Tsuyoshi smiled. He got
to his feet and walked to the pantry.He turned for a second. The younger boy was
watching them.Okada quickly began
reading again.

*Why can't he leave well enough alone?* He asked
himself.

A few seconds later, Koichi followed. He joined
the younger man in the pantry, and locked the
door.

Koichi grabbed Tsuyoshi and shoved him against the sacks
of rice. He began to kiss him passionately.

His lips left his friend's, and he began to nuzzle his
neck."I've needed
this."

"So have I." Tsuyoshi dug his fingers into his
friend's hair.

"Tsu-chan, I want to make love to you." Koichi
rubbed himself against Tsuyoshi. Through his thin shorts, he could feel
Koichi's hardness.

Tsuyoshi pulled away from Koichi. He turned his back to
him. “This is against the rules."

"If we love each other, what do the rules
matter?" he asked. "We've been sneaking around for a long time. Don't
you want to be my lover?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then why don't we?" Koichi put his arms around
Tsuyoshi's waist, his hand reached around caressing the younger man's
hardness.Tsuyoshi moaned, and pushed
himself against his friend. "I'm tired of waiting."

It took all of Tsuyoshi's will to break away from
Koichi."If we're caught, I’ll be
forbidden to see you. I can't loose you!"

"No one's here. We won't get caught." Koichi
put his arms back around Tsuyoshi.

"Why don't we tonight? After curfew come to my
bed." Koichi let go of him."I just wish we could really be going together."

"We are." Tsuyoshi turned back around. This
time it was Tsuyoshi's turn to kiss his friend.It took all his self control not to pull his partner to the floor.He wanted Koichi as much as his friend wanted
him.

"I want to be your boyfriend. A real boyfriend
that doesn't have to sneak into storage rooms to kiss."
He looked away from Tsuyoshi. "I hate having to do that."

"I don't like
this way either."

"I wish we could be true roommates. I want to wake
up in your bed."Koichi confessed.
"I want to take you out, and show you off as mine."

"I want to give you something." Tsuyoshi took a
ring off his finger. "As long as you wear this, we will be together."

Koichi let Tsuyoshi slip the ring on. "It's like it
was meant to be there."

"Just like I was meant to be at your side."

"I want you to have this."Koichi took off one of his rings. He put it
on his lover's right index finger. "I'll always protect you."

Tsuyoshi could hear Katori Shingo yelling for him. "I
forgot, I was supposed to give him a back
rub."

Koichi nodded. "It's okay, go to him."

"Are you sure?"

He tried to smile
"We'll be together tonight."

Tsuyoshi left the pantry.He looked back to his friend. "I love you."

Koichi's smile faded. "Hurry up. We can't be found
together."

********************

"Ko-chan, I've been looking for you." Koichi
heard Mabo say as soon as he left the pantry. "I need your help."

"What's wrong?"

Mabo grabbed Koichi and pulled him into the pantry. He
could hear the door slam, then lock. The man shoved Koichi against the stack of
rice bags. The taller man unbuckled his pants, and unzipped them.

"What are you doing?" Koichi demanded.

Mabo grabbed Koichi's chin in a clamp, and squeezed
tightly. "Stop acting like a virgin. It doesn't suit
you."

Koichi tried to get away
from the drummer. "This isn't a good idea."

"You didn't say that yesterday. Didn't you like what
we did?" Mabo sneered.

"You really think telling me your in love with
someone will make you stop seeing me?" The drummer gave him another hard
shove. Mabo put his hand inside of Koichi's shorts, manipulating his penis.
"You're hard. You know you want me."

"Have you forgotten the evidence I have against
you?" he continued. "I'll tell the Manager about your sleeping
around. He won't be pleased that you broke the
rules." Mabo pulled Koichi's pants down, then he turned the
teenager around, pushing him stomach first against the sacks of rice."Now I have something else to tell our
manager. You're in love.You don't have
a choice. What will the manager do when he find out your in love?"

Koichi knew exactly what would happen. The manager would
call for Tsuyoshi, and his friend would be severely punished.There was even a chance that Tsuyoshi could
become the new favorite. He had to protect
Tsuyoshi. "Get it over with."

"I knew a slut like you could see reason." He
could hear Mabo opening the container of lube. A few seconds later, the drummer
pushed his way into Koichi. He grabbed a handful of the younger man's hair and
began to thrust hard.

"Let go of my hair!" Koichi gasped.

"Shut up!" Mabo gave a hard yank on his hair.
"You do what I say, not the other way around."

Koichi had to bite his
lower lip. It hurt this time. He closed his eyes and thought
of Tsuyoshi.It was finished quickly.
Koichi could hear Mabo zip his pants.

"I want you tonight."

"When?"

"After curfew, I'll meet you in the
bathroom."With that, the drummer
left.

Koichi pulled his shorts back up. He looked down to
Tsuyoshi's ring. His best friend wanted a commitment.*What would you say if you knew about this?*

**************

Koichi walked past Shingo's bedroom, the door was open.
In the half light he could see Tsuyoshi on top of Shingo. His shirt was off,
and he was straddling the tall man's legs. Half of his body was covered. The
larger man moaned every time he moved.

"That's good," Shingo groaned.

"Do you like it like this?" Tsuyoshi's voice
was deeper then usual. . His fingers touching a place on Shingo's back. As he
did, hiships moved into him.

Tsuyoshi turned and looked at Koichi. His eyes were dark
with passion. He stopped what he was doing.

"Tsuyoshi, don't stop." Shingo moaned. "It
feels so good."

"Ko-chan, what are you doing here?" Tsuyoshi
asked.

The taller man turned his head towards
Koichi. "Why don't you join us? He can do you next. Tsuyoshi's really good
at this."

Without saying anything, Koichi turned and left. He
needed some time alone, to think. He walked without thinking, the anger of
finding Tsuyoshi with Shingo.He felt
betrayed. The man he thought of as a pure prince was just like him.

Koichi found himself in the yard behind the
dorms.There wasn't much to it, a
storage shed, some benches and a basketball goal.Koichi sat down on a bench.Tears stung his eyes. He could still see his
friend in his mind.

*You said you where a virgin.* he thought. *You lied
to me. You're sharing yourself with others."

A few minutes passed. He could hear the back door open
then shut.Then Tsuyoshi said. "So
that's where you went."

He didn't look at his friend. "I wasn't lost."

Tsuyoshi sat down on the bench beside him. "What are
you doing out here?"

"I thought you would stay with Shingo tonight."
Koichi tried to control the jealousy that was
trying to block everything else.

"Why on earth would I do that?"He sounded truly
confused. "I gave him a back rub. What's so special about that?"

"I saw the two of you together!" the words
caught in his throat. "You’re a whore, a slut!"

Tsuyoshi flinched. "I've been true to you."

"Sure you have. Tell me, do you go straight to
someone every time we're finished?" He accused. "I know your doing it
with other people!"

Tsuyoshi looked like he was going to cry. “How could you
believe I'd cheat on you?"

"When you go out, do you give head to
your other friends?" The anger he felt exploded. "Or strangers? How
much do they pay you?"

"I love you! How can you think that about me?"
He gasped. "I'm a virgin!"

"I changed so I could be with you!" Koichi
yelled. "If you wanted me to change, why didn't you? Why couldn't you stop
sleeping with others?"

"I've never cheated on you!" a tear rolled down
Tsuyoshi's cheek. "You're the only one in my life!"

"Stop lying!" He slapped Tsuyoshi hard across
the face. "We're over! Do you understand me? Over!"

Koichi got to his feet, and stormed off.

**********************

Tsuyoshi decided to hide
in the gym. He found an out of the way corner.No one would find him there, not on a Saturday afternoon.Tsuyoshi fought back the tears that threatened
to take over everything. But no matter how hard he fought,
the tears came.

*Why does it hurt so much?*

"Why did I have to fall in love with you?" He
asked the wall. *Why can't you believe I'm a
virgin?"

He looked at the ring on his finger. Koichi's ring.
"You gave me your ring. I thought that meant you trusted me."

Tsuyoshi could hear the sound of someone moving around
outside the gym. He hoped it was Koichi. He could see in his mind's eye, his
friend telling him that it was all a horrible
mistake. Kissing him, telling him it was all a bad dream.Giving him the love he had craved during
their relationship.

Then Tsuyoshi could hear the unmistakable sound of
someone dragging a large piece of exercise equipment to the middle of the
floor. Tsuyoshi looked up. Shingo had moved something that looked like a
tackling dummy into the gym. He gave the dummy an experimental kick. Satisfied,
he began to practice his high kicks.Tsuyoshi watched as the Smap member practiced his karate.

Once, when Smap had first been formed, Shingo had been
picked on by just about everyone.Small,
young, Shingo had been an easy target for bullies. That was, until he took up
karate.Now he was a very tall man with
a black belt. It didn't help that Shingo had a bad temper.
He had been known to kick someone in the face and ask questions later.

After quite some time, Shingo finally realized Tsuyoshi
was watching him. He went to his side. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to
think," Tsuyoshi wiped a tear from his face. He couldn't let his friend
see him cry.

Shingo put a finger under his chin, and turned
his face. "Something's happened. It was Koichi wasn't it?"He said the
name like a curse. "He's said something to you, hasn't he? Did he break up
with you?"

"We're partners in Kinki Kids, nothing else."
Koichi told him.

"You’re lying. Every time you look at him, I know
you love him." Shingo's eyes turned hard. "You're my friend. My
brother. I can tell when something's going on. So what did he do?"

"He says he saw the two of us making
love."

"He didn't believe that you only gave me a back
rub?" Shingo asked. "You had your pants on. Didn't he see that?"

"I suppose he didn't."

"Koichi is an idiot."

"He won't believe I'm a virgin." Tsuyoshi
confessed. The tears returned."He
called me a whore, a slut. He says I sell myself. Why would he call me those
things?"

"Because that's what he is!" Shingo pulled his
friend into his arms."Everyone in
the agency knows that if you need sex you go to Koichi. He'll let anyone do
anything to him."

"Koichi's changed. He's not like that anymore."

"He only did that
to win you over." Shingo stroked his hair. "Just yesterday I saw him
going alone to a practice room with Mabo. The only thing he's changed is where
he sleeps with someone."

"I can't believe I trusted him." Tsuyoshi's
remaining walls came down. He began to sob. His friend stroked his hair,
promising Koichi would never hurt him again.

*********************

Koichi walked. He spent most of the evening walking. With
every step, he tried to block Tsuyoshi out of his
mind. When they had began to go together, he had promised not to fall in love.
He had told his mind. But he had forgotten to
tell his heart.

He looked at Tsuyoshi's ring. "Why would you give me
your ring if you weren't going to be true to me?"

It was close to curfew. Koichi would have to go back to
the dorms. If he didn't, the manager would probably send people out looking for
him.

Koichi all ready had a hiding spot. It was a small
gardening closet that was attached to the back
of the dorm.He sat in a corner and
began to mull over his problems. He wondered if he had totally
changed, would it have been different. It was very difficult for Koichi to
remain true to Tsuyoshi. He had always shared his love.In the six months he had been with Tsuyoshi
he had strayed only a few times.

Seeing Tsuyoshi with Shingo had hurt Koichi. Now that he
was calmer he realized he was a hypocrite. Koichi had held Tsuyoshi up to a
higher standard then he could keep. How could
he expect his boy friend to stay true to him,
when he couldn’t? He now knew the hurt that Tsuyoshi had felt all those times
he found someone in Koichi's bed.

Suddenly the door to the shed opened. "So that's
where you're hiding!" Shingo yelled. He grabbed Koichi by his shirt, and
pulled him into the yard. "He loves you? Do you know that?"

"Who loves me?" Koichi asked confused.

"Tsuyoshi! He would give his life for yours! You
repay him by breaking his heart?!" The high kick came out of no where.
Shingo's foot slammed into Koichi's nose. He could hear the bone breaking. Then
the blood began to flow. Koichi found himself falling. He landed on his arm, he
could hear something pop. Then there was an almost indescribable pain in his
arm.

"What are you doing?" Koichi pulled his arm
close to him. He didn't fight back. The pain from his injuries kept him from
fighting. Besides, Shingo had training in
martial arts. He knew that the older man was dangerous.

"No one breaks my friend's heart and gets away with
it." Shingo kicked him hard in the ribs. "Do you really think he's
like you? He's not a slut!"

Koichi cried out in pain.Then he gasped. "I'm not a slut."

"Then tell me three people in the dorms you haven't
slept with! I don't mean juniors either!" Another kick, then there was as
horrible pain in Koichi's side.

Koichi didn't say anything. He curled up in a ball.He hoped beyond hope that Shingo would stop
hurting him.

"You've really changed?" Shingo said
sarcastically. "I use the practice rooms to study my lines for dramas. About
twice a week you and Mabo use one of the rooms."

"We're just working on a song."

"Tsuyoshi
might believe that, but I won't!" Shingo thundered."Yesterday the two of you started
undressing each other before you even went into the room."

"I've only strayed a few times." Koichi said.
"I'm true to Tsuyoshi."

"If you where true to him, you wouldn't stray!"
Shingo kicked him again."How is
Tsuyoshi going to feel once he finds out you cheated on him?"

"If you’re going to kill me, get it over with. I deserve
it." the blood kept flowing.

"You're going to find Tsu-chan. You're going to
apologize to him. Then you're going to leave him alone!" Shingo ordered.

"What will happen if I don't?"

"I'll turn you into our manager myself! I'll tell
him how you've whored yourself. How you slept with others, including me, when
you where his favorite!" Shingo threatened. "Now do what you’re
told!"

Koichi walked to the
clothes line and took a towel off of it. He
pressed the towel against his bleeding
nose.His whole body hurt, and he was
beginning to get dizzy. He didn't care about being turned in. All he cared
about was Tsuyoshi. He had to apologize to
him. He went off in search of his friend.

******************************

Koichi found Tsuyoshi in the gym. His best friend was
sitting on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest. He was staring at the
floor.Koichi went to him, close but not
touching. Koichi's body was beyond hurting.But the pain didn’t matter. He had to
talk to his friend.

"Tsu-chan." Koichi began. His voice sounded
strange, what with the towel pressed against his nose. His side ached, and his
arm. His arm hurt too much to move. He hugged it close to his body.

"I want to be alone." his friend said quietly.

Instead of leaving, the older man sat down behind him. He
didn't want his friend to see his bleeding
nose. He knew he couldn't explain the blood on his clothes."When I saw you and Shingo....I was
jealous."

"There's nothing to be jealous of. You don't own
me." Tsuyoshi said coldly.

"I know." Koichi couldn't help but notice the
towel was soaked with blood. "I thought our relationship was
special."

"It's over between us."

"I'm sorry."Koichi took a handkerchief out of his pocket and pressed it against his
nose. It wouldn't stop bleeding.He
never had a nose bleed as bad as this one. The nosebleed didn't both Koichi as
much as the pain from his arm and side.

"Why did you think I was with him?"

"I thought I saw the two of you together in
bed." It was getting hard to breathe.
"It looked like you where making love to Shingo."

"You thought I was having sex with Shingo?"
Tsuyoshi asked incredulously. "When did you see this?"

"This afternoon." He gasped."You were on top of Shingo, in
bed."

"Was I dressed?"

"You where covered up. I could see that you weren't
wearing a shirt."

"What business is it to you if I take my shirt
off?"

"It's okay. I don't own you. You have the right to
be with whom ever you want." The pain in his side got worse. "I was
wrong. I jumped to conclusions. I know you
didn't make love to him."

"The words you called me. I am not a slut, I am not
a whore. I would never sell myself."

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you." He looked down
to the puddle of blood that was forming on the
floor. The more he talked, the more his nose bleed.

"Shingo told me that you were with Mabo
yesterday." Tsuyoshi told him."Why did you cheat on me?"

"Until I saw you with Shingo, I didn't realize how
much I hurt you by straying.I've done
too much to you to be forgiven." Koichi told him. "I'm sorry, I'm
very sorry."

"How many times were you with him?" Tsuyoshi
wiped another tear. "Please tell me the truth."

"Mabo's blackmailing me. If I don't sleep with him,
he'll turn us into the manager." Koichi felt his own tears fall."I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Mabo's blackmailing you?" Tsuyoshi sounded as
if he didn't believe his friend.

"He has evidence. I've seen it."

Tsuyoshi turned to him,
and gasped. "What happened to your
face?"

"It got in the way of Shingo's foot." Koichi
tried to joke. He tried to
ignore the blood and the almost indescribable
pain.

"Why would Shingo hurt you like that?"

"I broke your heart."He told him. "I deserve this pain. I
want to give you something." Koichi took off Tsuyoshi's ring and handed it
to him. "I don't deserve it."

"Don't worry about that now."Tsuyoshi put the ring in his pocket.
"Your arm, is it all right?"

"How did it happen?" Without waiting for the
answer he said. "I bet Shingo kicked you and you fell on it."

Koichi nodded. Even with the pain he couldn't lie to
Tsuyoshi.

"Let me see your nose." Tsuyoshi went to him,
touching his face. He pulled the now soaked
rag from it.

Tsuyoshi examined it. "I think it's broken. We need
to get you to a hospital."

"No, I don't want to go there." Koichi told
him. "I deserve what Shingo did to me. I
betrayed you!"

"How long has your nose been bleeding?"
Tsuyoshi asked when there was no response. "Too long I bet. We're going to
the hospital, if I have to carry you myself!"

********************

Tsuyoshi ran into the main room of the dorm.Shingo was working on a puzzle at a table.
Joshima whom everyone called Leader was sitting with his friend, reading the
paper.The leader of Tokio had been
talked into being the dorm parent to the senior's dorm.

"Leader, can you take us to the hospital?"
Tsuyoshi asked.

"You want to go to the hospital?" Leader asked
warily.

Shingo looked up from the puzzle. "Who needs to go
to the hospital?"

"Koichi, he’s been beaten badly. I think he has at
least two broken bones." Tsuyoshi couldn't help but shudder. "There's
blood everywhere. His nose won't stop bleeding."

"Where is he?" Leader asked.

"He's in the gym."

"Has he said how it happened?" Shingo's eyes
narrowed.

"He hasn't told me." He lied.It took all his willpower not to hit his
friend.

"Are you sure you don't know how it happened?"
Leader asked.

"We can talk about that later! I don't care how he
was injured." Tsuyoshi tried to control
his temper. "Koichi is seriously hurt. He needs help!"

"Let's go." the leader ran to the gym, followed
closely by Tsuyoshi and Shingo.Shingo
knelt beside Tsuyoshi.

Koichi tried to move
away from him. "Stay away from me."

Leader gestured, and Shingo moved away from Koichi.Leader then knelt beside him. "What
happened to you?

The injured man looked at the floor. "Someone jumped
me from behind. I didn't see who it was."

"You where mugged. We need to
tell the police."

"No! No police!" Koichi insisted. "I'll be
all right. Just give me some time to catch my breath."

"I think he must have been hit in the head."
Shingo told Leader. "He's acting very confused."

"That's why I thought he needed to
go to the hospital." Tsuyoshi glared at Shingo, who took a step back.

Leader looked at it without touching it. "It's
broken. I'll call for an ambulance." Leader took out his ketai and made
the call.

"You deserved what you got." Shingo hissed at
Koichi.

Something inside Tsuyoshi snapped. He jumped on top of
Shingo. The blow knocked the larger man off
balance. He fell to the floor. Then Tsuyoshi began to beat on him. The taller
man grabbed his wrists, preventing him from hurting him.

There was a sound of sirens. Okada came running into the
gym, followed by paramedics with a stretcher. A police officer also followed.

"What happened?" the officer asked.

"He was mugged." Leader lied. "When we
found him, we called you."

"Who’s in charge here?"

"I am." Leader said."I'm the dorm parent."

"I need the names
of everyone here." The officer took out his memo book.

"Can't we do that later?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"Koichi's hurt. He needs help."

"No one leave until I get to interview them."The officer turned to
Koichi."Did you see who attacked
you?"

"I was hit from behind." Koichi lied.
"There was a gang of them. They over powered me."

"Are you sure you didn't see their faces?"

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't."

The paramedics walked past the officer. One began to
examine Koichi.He raised
two fingers. "How many fingers do you see?"

"I see two." Koichi told him.

"Can you walk?"

"I get dizzy when I walk."

The paramedics helped Koichi onto the stretcher.They then helped Koichi lay down, and
they strapped him down. Tsuyoshi looked at Koichi. Their eyes
met for a brief instant.

"I'll see you at the hospital." Tsuyoshi
promised.

The paramedics raised the
stretcher so that it was at waist level. Tsuyoshi watched them
wheel his best friend out of the gym.

"I'll have to file a report. Can I interview
everyone who saw him in this condition?" The officer asked.

"Of course." Leader told him."It was just the four of us."

'This is a big dorm. Why are there only four people
here?"

"It's Saturday, all most everyone is out enjoying
the weekend."

The officer went to Tsuyoshi. "What is the name of
the injured man?"

"His name is Domoto Koichi." Tsuyoshi told him.

The man wrote it down. "What is your name?"

"Domoto Tsuyoshi."

"Are the two of you related?"

"No, we're not." Tsuyoshi admitted.

The man eyeballed him. "You look familiar to me,
very familiar. Do you have a police record?"

"I've never been in trouble with the law."

"Then why do you look so familiar to me?"

"I've been in several dramas." Tsuyoshi told
him. "Koichi and I have a television show."

"Tsuyoshi is part of an idol group called
the KinKi Kids." Leader told the
officer.

"Oh, the KinKi Kids." the officer smiled.
"My daughter has a poster of you on her wall. Can I have an
autograph?"

"Of course you may." Tsuyoshi took the
officer's notebook and signed a blank piece of paper.He handed it back to the officer. "Do
you need me to answer any more questions?"

"No, that will be all." The officer turned
to Leader and began to ask him questions.

Tsuyoshi went to the bleachers and sat down. He couldn't
help but notice that the officer got signatures from Shingo, Leader and Okada
too. His mind went to Koichi. He hoped the
officer hurried up. He wanted to be with his
partner.

Tsuyoshi sat in the waiting room.Because he wasn't related to
Koichi he wasn't allowed to be with him in the
exam room.Koichi had cheated on him. He
kept turning the fact over and over in his mind.Koichi had insisted that
he had changed. But had he really? Tsuyoshi was hurt by Koichi's
admission.He thought their relationship
was special.

Tsuyoshi came to a decision. He would have to break up
with Koichi. Tsuyoshi needed time away from
his friend to work out his feelings. He decided
that he would have to wait until Koichi got out of the
hospital before he would make the break. Koichi was injured, as angry as he was
with Koichi, he couldn't leave him alone while he was hurt.

"Leader, would it be too hard for me to get a new
roommate?" Tsuyoshi asked.

"It would be easy. I just have to find someone who
would like to move in with you." Leader said. "Why do you want to
change roommates?"

"I don’t want to discuss it now."

Leader who was sitting beside him leaned forwards and
whispered into Tsuyoshi's ear. "What's the truth about what happened with
you and Koichi?"

"There's only Koichi. I wouldn't cheat on him."
Tsuyoshi took a deep breath and let it out. "Koichi didn't trust me. He
broke up with me."

"Koichi is an idiot."

"Shingo told me that Koichi's been sleeping with
Mabo." Tsuyoshi paused. "Koichi confessed to
me. He told me that Mabo was blackmailing him."

"Koichi said that
Mabo was blackmailing him?" Leader repeated.

"I'm not sure I believe Koichi." Tsuyoshi
looked down to his ring. "I'm not sure I'll stay with him. But right now
he needs me. I have to put my hatred for him aside, and think
of him."

"Excuse me; I need to
make an important call." Leader went to a corner and took
out his ketai.

Tsuyoshi realized
that he shouldn't have told Leader what Koichi had said. The
man had enough to worry about without hearing Tsuyoshi's problems.Tsuyoshi looked at his finger, to the ring
that Koichi had given him. He took it off, and put it in his pocket.

"If you need a new roommate, I'd be willing to move
in with you." Okada told him.Okada
was a friend of his, but he couldn’t trust him fully.

"Not getting along with Ken?" Tsuyoshi guessed.

"Most of the time I sleep on the couch in the main
room." The boy looked concerned. "When Koichi dated, did you have to
sleep somewhere else?"

Tsuyoshi looked at his friend. "Can we not talk
about Koichi?"

"Gomen na.
I wasn't thinking."

Tsuyoshi looked at the other person in the waiting room.
Shingo sat glumly.In reality Tsuyoshi's
injuries had been Shingo's fault.His
friend had beaten Koichi because Tsuyoshi had been hurt.Tsuyoshi hoped that
the manager believed Koichi's mugging story. Shingo leaned close to him.
"Your acting too concerned. Okada's bound to
figure out that you’re involved with Koichi."

The doctor came into the waiting room."Joshima-san,
your friend is in a serious condition."

"What's wrong with him?" Leader turned off his
ketai and went to the doctor.

"Domoto Koichi's nose is badly broken. If we operate
now, he will probably have a complete recovery." The doctor told him.
"He also has broken ribs and his left radius is broken.He'll have to have surgery on his ribs. One
of them is almost completely crushed."

"What about scaring?" Okada asked.

"After the operation, his nose will probably appear
normal within a month." The Doctor looked them
over. "The problem is funding."

"There is no problem with paying for Koichi's
medical care." Leader said. "He's an employee of Johnny's
Entertainment."

"Does he know about the surgery?" Tsuyoshi
asked.

"I thought it would be best to discuss it with you
first." The doctor told him. "I wanted to
make sure there was funding enough for the operation before it was brought up
to him."

"I understand." Leader told him.

"Come with me."
the Doctor said.

"Of course," Leader followed him out of the
waiting room.

"Koichi needs an operation?" Shingo
whispered."I didn't mean to hurt
him. I just wanted to teach him a
lesson."

"Remind me never to get mad at you." Okada
said.

His remark got a glare from Shingo."If you tell on me, I'll make sure
you're paid back!'

The youngster looked frightened. "I won't
tell."

"What will happen if it can't be healed?"
Tsuyoshi asked. Even though he was angry with Koichi, he wanted his friend
to get better.

"Don't think that way!" Shingo said. "You have
to have faith in his getting better!"

************************

Tsuyoshi waited in the surgery waiting room. His friends
stayed with him to support him.He could
see the nurse’s station from where he was sitting.An assistant had come from the manager with
authorization letters. The woman was the prim, proper type. Tsuyoshi watched as
the woman filled out the necessary paperwork. The woman then handed
them to the nurse, and said something to her. She nodded and
pointed to the waiting room.

The assistant came into the room. Her eyes set on Okada.
"The manager would like you to come with me."

Okada suddenly looked like a trapped animal. "I want
to stay here."

"You've been requested. Please come with me."
She repeated.

"I won't go!" He said firmly. "I'm not
going anywhere!"

"Do what she
says." Leader whispered to him. "It
will be worse for you if you refuse."

"You're right." the teenager got to his feet.
He didn't look at his friends. He then followed her out of the waiting room.

"Why does he want to talk to Okada?" Tsuyoshi
asked Shingo who was sitting on the other side of leader.

"He probably wants him to tattle some more."
Shingo said.

"Okada doesn't get a choice in going." Leader
told the Smap member.

"Of course he does. He doesn't have to go." he
insisted. "He could always tell the manager to go to hell."

"You know what happens when you refuse the
Manager." Leader reminded him.

"How do you know he's being abused?" Shingo
counted."I think he likes being
the manager's pet."

The leader glanced at Tsuyoshi. "This isn't the time
to discuss this. Tsuyoshi's worried about Koichi."

"I'll stay here tonight." He decided. "I
want to be at his side when he wakes up."

"Management won't let you." Leader reminded
him. "Go to the dorm and stay there tonight. You can visit him in the
morning."

"Koichi needs me." Tsuyoshi insisted. "He
wants me to be here."

"I know he does." Leader looked around, and
then whispered to him."Management has spies everywhere. You
can't run the risk of your relationship with Koichi being discovered."

"Okada will tell on me anyway."

"What if he doesn't?" Leader pointed out.
"Look at what happened with Mori and Nakai. They thought it was safe to go
out for just one day as lovers.Mori is
fired, and Nakai is never allowed to be with
him again. The same thing could happen to you if you're not careful!"

Tsuyoshi realized it was no use arguing with Leader.
"Would you let me stay until Koichi wakes up from the surgery?"

"When we find out Koichi's awake, you'll go back to
the dorms." Leader decided.

**************

Tsuyoshi waited in the surgery waiting room. Shingo had
left over an hour before.Leader had
stayed with the younger man.Yamaguchi
and Nagase came into the waiting room. Yamaguchi looked at Nagase.
"Where’d he go?"

Yamaguchi went back out into the hallway, and pushed Mabo
into the room.The drummer had a black
eye and his lip was swollen.Tsuyoshi
rolled his eyes. Tokio was having troubles again.The group seemed to
be either best friends or at each others throats. There seemed
to be no middle road with them.

Tsuyoshi got up and went to the window. He looked out to
the night sky.Tsuyoshi didn't want to
look at Mabo. Koichi was having an affair with Mabo.Tsuyoshi wondered if Koichi had
told him about going with Tsuyoshi, or was the man just as
much of a victim as Tsuyoshi was?

"You where right Leader." Yamaguchi told him.
"Course we had to beat the confession out
of him. He just didn't want to admit what kind of a jerk he really is."

"Masahiro has something to give you leader."
Nagase gave the drummer a shove.Mabo
handed a piece of paper to Leader. He bowed.

Leader read the paper.
"Is all of this true?"

"Everything I put down is the truth." Mabo told
him.

Leader went to Tsuyoshi's side. He offered him a paper.
"You need to read this."

"It's got nothing to do with me." Tsuyoshi
refused the paper. "I really don't want
to read about Koichi cheating on me."

"I think you're opinion of Koichi will change if you
read this."

Tsuyoshi took the paper away from Leader. He read it.According to the paper Mabo was blackmailing
Koichi. Mabo had proof of all the sleeping around Koichi did when he was the
Manager's favorite.When Mabo found out
Koichi's feelings for Tsuyoshi, he began to use that as a blackmail tool.If Koichi didn't sleep with Mabo, all of the
evidence would be turned over to the Manager. There was as very strong chance
that Koichi would be fired if that happened.

"Mabo's been blackmailing Koichi?" Tsuyoshi
asked. "How do you know Mabo isn't making it up?"

"Why would he make up something like this?"
Leader countered. "Mabo's confession only damns Mabo."

Tsuyoshi turned to the
drummer. "Is your confession true? Were you blackmailing Koichi?"

"Koichi enjoyed being with me." Mabo sneered.
"He begged me to use him."

'Quit lying." Nagase told him. "Tell the
truth."

"He was a wild man with me. Koichi's other boyfriend
is still a virgin. Can you believe that?" Mabo looked at Tsuyoshi."Koichi had to
get all of his sexual tension out somehow."

Yamaguchi took Mabo's arm and twisted
it behind the drummers back. "Stop being
a bad boy. Tell Tsuyoshi the real truth."

"Let go of my arm, and I will!"

Yamaguchi let go of Mabo's arm. The drummer rubbed his
wrist. "Koichi hated every minute of being with me." Mabo
admitted."Most of the time I had
to force him to do what I wanted."

"You raped him?" Tsuyoshi gasped.

"It wasn't rape, it was forceful seduction."
The drummer boasted. "The last time I took him, I found him in the
kitchen. I pulled him into the pantry. He was all ready hard. If he didn't want
me, why would he be so excited?"

*He was all ready hard.* Then it dawned on Tsuyoshi. He
knew why Koichi had been so excited."Have you thought perhaps Koichi had been with me before you found
him?"

"It doesn't matter. I don't care what he does with
you." Mabo told him. "In the end, he'll always be mine. Just remember
that you won't be the only person he'll be with. He'll be with me too."

"Why would you do such a thing?" Leader asked.

"Power, it felt good to
hold so much power over someone like Koichi." Mabo said. "He's a slut
anyway. It's just a matter of time before he went back to his old ways."

"How many times did it happen?" Tsuyoshi tried
hard to contain his anger.

"Not as much as I would have liked. He was always
hanging around you. It took a lot of time to get him away from you." Mabo
bragged. "I kept a record. It was at least three times a week. He cheated
on you. How does that feel knowing that he let me use his body?"

Yamaguchi and Nagase grabbed Mabo, pulling him away from
Tsuyoshi. Mabo tried to get away from the
other two Tokio members. "Let me go!"

Tsuyoshi moved to hit
Mabo again, but Leader grabbed Tsuyoshi around the
chest pulling Tsuyoshi into a corner. He didn't struggle to get away. Instead
he told Mabo."I love Koichi! An
idiot like you isn't going to keep him away from me!"

"That's what you think!" the drummer sneered.
"It's only a matter of time until Koichi is with me all the time!"

"If I let go of you, will you stay here?"
Leader asked Tsuyoshi.

"Mabo isn't worth my getting into trouble."
Tsuyoshi admitted.

Leader let go of Tsuyoshi and went to Mabo. "Listen
to me, Tokio takes care of its own."

Mabo stopped his struggling. "You can't do anything
to me!"

"I'll leave you to Yamaguchi." Leader decided.
"He'll decide what punishment you receive."

"Can I use all my bondage gear with him?"
Yamaguchi said with a glint in his eye.

"You can use any whip or other disciplining device
that you want." Leader told him.

"Nagase help Yamaguchi get him back to the
dorms." Leader told his friend.

"Hai." Nagase said.

The two men pulled Mabo out of the waiting room.

As soon as they where gone, Tsuyoshi asked Leader.
"Yamaguchi has whips and bondage devices?"

"Yamaguchi has a certain refined taste."
Leader told him. "Most of it involves various devices."

"Is he a masochist?"

"Yamaguchi is a sadist. Don't worry. He only beats
those who consent to be beaten." Leader smiled. "Unless
he has to punish someone for me."

Tsuyoshi didn't know what to say after that, so he sat
thinking about Koichi. He was still angry at Mabo. He realized his friend had
been a victim in all of this. He could still remember the times that Koichi had
held him and told him he loved him. His finger
touched Koichi's ring.He still loved
Koichi.He took the ring out of his
pocket and put it back on.

"I underestimated Koichi." Tsuyoshi finally
said.

"It's hard for a person like Koichi to change."
Leader told him. "But I think he has changed. He does love you."

Tsuyoshi decided to ask
the question that had been bothering him. "Do you think he would cheat on
me if he wasn't blackmailed?"

"No, I don't think he would."

"I don't think he would have either." Tsuyoshi
realized."The next time I see him.
I want to tell him I forgive him. Perhaps we can still have a future
together."

*************

Koichi woke up.He
tried to move, something hard on his left arm
prevented him from being able to move. He couldn't breathe through his nose. He
felt confused.He could remember riding
in an ambulance, but not how he received his cast. His confusion was a lot like
being drunk, but it was even more then being drunk. It was more like a
nightmare.

"How did I get here?" Koichi tried
to get up, but he was too weak.

The nurse on duty ignored him as she worked on her
paperwork. It was hard for Koichi to see. He had trouble
opening his eyes. His face felt like it was very swollen.He was able to raise his right hand. It was
in a splint with an IV tube. Was it the reason he felt so disjointed?He brought his hand to
his nose. There was a bandage on it. He no longer felt pain, just uncertainty.
He knew if Tsuyoshi was with him, he would be able to explain what happened.

"Tsuyoshi." Koichi
called. "Tsuyoshi." there was no answer, so he called his friend's
name louder and louder.

That got the nurses attention, she went to his side.
"Please be quiet. You'll wake the other patients."

Someone stood beside him, he had dark hair. The swelling
in his face prevented him from seeing much else."Tsu-chan, is that you?"

He could feel Tsuyoshi kiss his fingers. "Yes, it's
me. You're not dreaming."

"My face, it feels like it's puffed up like a
marshmallow." Koichi told him. "I'm having trouble seeing."

"Your face is badly swollen." Tsuyoshi brought
Koichi's hand to his face. "Feel me, can
you tell that I'm Tsuyoshi?"

Koichi felt the familiar face. "My
Tsu-chan."

"My ko-chan."
Tsuyoshi put Koichi's hand back down on the bed.

Koichi realized that he
owed his best friend an apology. In his confusion he knew that he had hurt his
friend badly. "I'm sorry Tsu, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Tsuyoshi soothed. "I forgive
you."

"Why would you forgive me?" Koichi asked.
"I don't deserve it."

"I have to forgive you. I can't live my life without
you." Tsuyoshi put a ring on Koichi's finger. "I'll be at your side
forever."

"What happened to
me? Why am I like this?"

"Do you remember coming to the hospital?"

"Yes, but I don't know how I got a cast."

"You've had an operation on your nose, and another
on your ribs." Tsuyoshi tried to explain.
"They also put a cast on your broken arm." Tsuyoshi took his wallet out
of his pocket. He then placed something on Koichi's dresser.

"What's this?" Koichi asked.

"I thought I'd give you a photo of us. If you're
feeling lonely, you can look at it." Tsuyoshi kissed his friend's fingers.
Then he moved so that he was close to Koichi's face. He ignored
the bandages, and kissed Koichi's lips."You need to
go to sleep."

"I can't sleep. Need you here with me."

Koichi was surprised when Tsuyoshi climbed into the bed
with him.It was a very narrow fit, but
somehow Tsuyoshi was able to keep his balance. Tsuyoshi stretched out beside
him.Then he put his head on Koichi's
pillow. "I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."

Koichi moved his head so that it was touching Tsuyoshi's.
It felt strange, but he needed to cuddle with
his friend. As best as he could he tried to
snuggle against Tsuyoshi.Koichi could
feel Tsuyoshi stroke his hair. He felt warm and safe with his friend beside
him. He couldn't help it. He fell asleep.

********************

Tsuyoshi couldn't sleep.He was worried about Koichi.So
he used studying as an excuse, and sat in the lounge area.He tried looking at his books. Tsuyoshi
couldn't keep his mind on what he was doing.All he could think of was his partner.
He kept turning over in his mind about what would happen if Koichi's nose
couldn't be corrected. Would he be fired? Tsuyoshi was afraid he would never
see him again if that happened.

He thought it was strange when Nagase Tomoya announced
that he needed to work on lines for his latest drama.Nagase's drama didn't start filming for
another month. There was no need for him to practice lines. Nagase being there
made Tsuyoshi feel better.

"Would you like some coffee?" Nagase offered.

"That sounds good." Tsuyoshi picked up a pen
and began to doodle on a spare piece of paper.

Nagase poured him some coffee from the flask. He handed
it to him. "He'll be back soon."

"Who will be?" he pretended innocence.

"Koichi,” he paused. "I wanted
to ask you something. Why on earth would you fall for a
slut?"

"Koichi isn't a slut!" Tsuyoshi said firmly.

"Name one person in this dorm he hasn't slept
with."

"Domoto Tsuyoshi."

"You've never slept with him?" Nagase sounded
as if he didn't believe him."Koichi'll drop his pants for anyone. Why
not you?"

"I don't have to tell you that."

"Has he told you why he sleeps around?"

"He was the manager's favorite." Tsuyoshi tried
to explain. "At least three times a week Koichi would be
called to the mansion, He was beaten and
raped. He told me that sleeping around makes the pain in his heart go
away."

"Stop calling him a slut." Tsuyoshi told him.
"Koichi's no longer like that. He's changed." Tsuyoshi closed his
eyes. He really didn't want to talk about Koichi's infidelity.He opened his eyes and asked. "What's
the new drama about?"

The door to the lounge opened, and Okada slipped in. One
of his eyes had been bruised, and his lip was swollen. His t-shirt had been
torn. Tears where pouring down his cheeks.He sat on the floor, his back against the
closed door.Then his eyes set on the
two men in the room."Why are you
up?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Nagase said.

"I just got in."

"You're only fifteen; you shouldn't be out so
late." Tsuyoshi told him.

"What would our manager say if he found out you
where out this late?" Nagase added. "Perhaps we should
tell on you."

"Please don't," The boy said softly.

"I don't see why we shouldn't. You tell on us often enough!"
Nagase said. "I think management might be interested to
know that you were up to four in the morning."

"I was supposed to
come in without anyone knowing."

"You got caught, and I am going to tell on
you." Nagase seemed to be taking pleasure
in tormenting the teen.

"Then tell. Perhaps he'll fire me. Then I can go
back to Osaka." Okada
said.Then I won't have to worry about
all of this."

"I wonder if he's up now." Nagase took out his
ketai.

"Please don't call. I don't want to be hurt
again!" Okada covered his face with his bruised arms.Tsuyoshi noticed the
boy had bruises on his legs.

"Stop it Tomoya!" Tsuyoshi snapped."Okada's been beaten up."

"Perhaps he got on his boyfriend's nerves."
Nagase snapped.

"Our manager isn't my boyfriend!" Okada
insisted."I hate him."

"Then why are you seeing him?" He put his ketai
up.

"I don't get a choice." he pulled his legs up
to his chest, and wrapped his arms around them.
"Do you really think I *want* him to touch me? I die a little each time he
makes me sleep with him!"

"I wonder what management would say if it was found
out you where sleeping around?"

"I don't sleep around!"

"Then it will be okay if I tell the Manager about
Sakamoto." Nagase threatened. "I think he would be interested in knowing
his favorite has a boyfriend."

"Please don't tell him about Sakamoto." Okada
began to sob."He'll beat me worse
the next time."

Tsuyoshi realized that
Nagase had gone too far. He put his books down. "Leave him alone."

"Why? Don't you think he needs a taste of his own
medicine?"

Tsuyoshi went to Okada's side and knelt down beside him.
"Our manager knows where you where, doesn't he?"

"I'm not supposed to
tell." Okada said.

"He's just like Koichi." Tsuyoshi realized.

"Okada's nothing like Koichi!"

"You don't see, do you?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"Management picked a new favorite. One that he tortures,
and abuses.One that has to tell on his friends, so
that the pain will stop."

"Our Manager's torturing you?" Nagase turned
to the boy. "Is that true? You don't like going to
him?"

"Leader was right, you are a victim." Nagase
told him. "I'm sorry I threatened you."

"You two know my secret." he wiped away a tear.
"Soon the whole dorm will. I'll be hated even worse then I am now."

"No one will find out." Nagase promised.

"You want revenge. I understand that.
I don't deserve any less." Okada wiped his face again. "There are
lots of people here who would like to beat me up."

"Why don't you go to bed? We can talk about this in
the morning." Tsuyoshi suggested.

"I can't, I'll wake up Ken. He's probably got Morita
sharing his bed. I'm not allowed in the room when they're together."He nodded at the couch. "I'll sleep in
here."

"You can stay in my room. You can sleep in Ko-chan's bed." Tsuyoshi offered.

"Are you sure you want a spy sleeping in your
room?" Okada asked.

"You're not a spy!" Tsuyoshi helped him up.

"It's all right, go to bed." Nagase agreed.

"But my secret." Okada
reminded him.

"It needs to stay a secret." Nagase told
him."I'll pretend that I didn't
see you tonight."

***********************

Tsuyoshi had slept through morning visiting hours, so he
would have to go in the afternoon.There
wasn't anything to do, besides worry. Leader had taped
a note to his door saying that Koichi was doing well. He was asking for
Tsuyoshi. After reading the note, Tsuyoshi tried to
call Koichi, but his partner wasn't receiving calls.

Tsuyoshi needed to talk
to Shingo. He knocked on his friend's door.Kusanagi answered it. It looked Tsuyoshi over."Oh it's you. Come on in."

Tsuyoshi came into Shingo's room. Kusanagi shut the door.
Tsuyoshi couldn't help but notice the boxes that were on Shingo's bed.Tsuyoshi decided to
ask. "What's going on?"

"Shingo's been thrown out of the dorm." the
older man went back to packing. "He went to the Manager this morning and
made a full confession."

"So you're packing for him." Tsuyoshi guessed.

"He's not allowed to
step foot in the dorms. So I have to do it." Kusanagi opened a drawer,
took something out of it and slammed it shut. Then he threw the item into the
box. Tsuyoshi's friend was very angry.

"Is he still in Smap?"

The older man gave Tsuyoshi a withering look. "Of
course he's still in Smap. He'll be staying with Nakai until he finds his own
apartment."

"Listen, I didn't do anything with Shingo."
Tsuyoshi began.

"I know that." Kusanagi interrupted.
"Shingo's got a bad temper. He's got to
learn to control it." Kusanagi took a few deep breaths, which calmed him
down.

"I wonder why his temper's so bad." Tsuyoshi
started to help Kusanagi pack.

"He was only eleven when Smap was first formed. The
older guys picked on him a lot." Kusanagi told him. "He gets angry
when he sees someone picked on. Shingo'll hit first
and ask questions later."

"I noticed."

Kusanagi pulled a drawer out of the dresser, and dumped
the contents on the bed. "Are you and Koichi really
serious?"

"We're going together."Tsuyoshi shrugged. "I'm not sure what I
am to Koichi."

"I bet everyone's tried to
dissuade you from going with him." Kusanagi started going through the
things on the bed. "Am I right?"

"I feel the same way about Shingo-chan." he
picked up a pile of stuff and threw it in the
box."Before we started going
together, my Shingo slept with just about anything.It didn't matter to him what the sex of his
partner was."

"How long have you been with Shingo?"

"Two years. He promised me he would change, and he
did." Kusanagi looked at Tsuyoshi. "He needed my complete trust. When
I gave it to him, he changed completely."

"So I need to trust
him." Tsuyoshi guessed. "I gave him my ring."

"Good start, but next time you see him. Tell him you
trust him." Kusanagi suggested.

After his talk with Kusanagi, Tsuyoshi decided
to go to the gym.Perhaps if he worked out, he could forget for a while. Tsuyoshi found
Nagase all ready there. He was wearing warm up pants and a t-shirt. His long
hair was pulled back in a tail.It took
several seconds for Tsuyoshi to realize that his friend was mopping Koichi's
blood off the floor.There seemed
to be so much of it. Tsuyoshi didn't remember so much blood.

"Do you want some help?" Tsuyoshi offered.

"I can handle this." Nagase told him.

"Are you going to turn me in?" Tsuyoshi sat
down on a bench close to where Nagase was working.

"What for?"

"I'm breaking the rules with Koichi." He
reminded his friend. "We aren't supposed to
become involved."

"I can't turn you in. If I did, I would have to turn
myself in."Nagase rinsed
the mop, and squeezed it out."I've been with someone for over a year."

Tsuyoshi fought down the urge to ask Nagase who is lover
was."This isn't fair. Why can't we
be with who we want?"

"I don't know." Nagase began to mop again.
"I love Shingeru, you love Koichi. I don't see a problem with that."

"*Leader*?You and Leader?" Tsuyoshi gasped."You can have any man in this dorm, and
you picked Leader?"

Nagase couldn't suppress his grin. "There's
something about men from Nara,
isn't there?"

"Leader?" Tsuyoshi
couldn't believe his ears. "You never told me you like Leader."

"I know he's a lot older then me, but when we’re
together, it seems like we're the same age. The Shingeru I see is different
then the Leader everyone else knows."

"Now you know why I love Koichi." Tsuyoshi
said. "What I see is a good, honorable man. I want to stay at his side
forever."

Leader came into the gym. He glanced at the blood on the
floor, and then he looked at Tsuyoshi.
"Our Manager has sent a car for you Tsuyoshi."

"Oh god, no." Nagase
swore. "Why? Why does he have to go?"

"Okada's told the
manager that he saw the two of you go into the pantry together." Leader
told him.

"I'm going to be fired." Tsuyoshi groaned.

"Good luck." The leader said sincerely.
"Hopefully you won't be gone too long."

Nagase looked at Tsuyoshi. "Please don't tell on
us."

"I won't." Tsuyoshi promised. He took a deep breath.
He got up and went to the parking lot.

***********

The sun had all ready rose when Tsuyoshi returned
to the dorms.He was
wearing only his jeans.He carried his
shoes and his shirt. His back hurt too much to wear his shirt. He was able to
slip into his room without being seen. In the half-light of his room, he saw
something he had seen many times before.His room mate Koichi sleeping with his current lover. As his eyes
adjusted to the light, he realized
that it wasn't Koichi, but Okada. The young man was curled
around Sakamoto.

Tsuyoshi knew he should leave, and give the two some
privacy. His aching body though otherwise. It took all his strength to get to
his bed, and then he lay down. He rolled over,
facing the wall.He closed his eyes, and
a few moments later opened them again. The
memories of what happened passed through his
mind. His wrists still hurt from the rough rope that had tied
him. His body ached from the beating.

*I'm sorry Koichi. I wanted you to be my first.* the tears
he had held in began to flow.*Why
didn't you tell me love hurt?*

A few minutes passed. He could hear Sakamoto saying very
softly. "Junichi, wake up."

"What happened to
you?" The older man asked."Were you with our Manager last night?"

Tsuyoshi wrapped himself in a blanket, and
then he went to the closet and curled up in a ball. "Go
away, I want to be alone!"

"You've been hurt. We have to help you." He
went to Tsuyoshi's side.

"I don't want to be helped!" Tsuyoshi insisted.
"Get away from me!"

"Yuki, leave him alone." Okada said.

"Tsuyoshi's been hurt." Sakamoto told him.

"I know that. It was my fault." The younger man
explained. "Our manager asked me if I had seen them going off alone
together. I mentioned they went into the
kitchen together. Then he called for Tsuyoshi."

"You didn't tell him anything else did you?"
Sakamoto glared at him.

"No, he beat me and beat me, and I wouldn't say
anything else." Okada insisted. "Tsuyoshi's one of my few friends. I
couldn't betray him."

Okada put his hand on Sakamoto's shoulder.
"Yuki-Chan’s is good at keeping secrets."

"Does love always hurt this
much?"

"What happened to you
wasn't love!" The older man insisted. "It was rape. It's an act of
violence, not love!"

"Real love feels wonderful." Okada said.
"Can't you remember being with Koichi? How did that
feel?"

"I am... I mean was a virgin." Tsuyoshi
corrected. "How am I going to tell Koichi about this?"

"Koichi will stay at your side." The alarm
rang. Sakamoto glanced at it, and then turned
it off. "I've got to get to the studio. Will you be all right?"

"I'll be fine." Tsuyoshi lied. "I just need
time to think."

The older man put his clothes back on, and
then went to the door. Okada followed him. The V6 leader
touched his lover's cheek. "Keep your ketai on. I'll call you from the
studio."

"I will." Okada promised.

He leaned forward kissing the younger man gently.
"Bye."

"See you later, Yuki-chan."

Sakamoto glanced at Tsuyoshi."Be careful Jun-chan. We can't be
caught."

"Sorry, it just slipped out." he said
sheepishly.

Sakamoto kissed Okada one more time, then left. Okada
watched him leave, then shut the door.

************************

After Sakamoto left, Okada left Tsuyoshi alone. He felt
safe in the closet.No one would find
him there. He kept thinking of Koichi.He could still remember all the times his friend had come home from
visiting the mansion crying. Now Tsuyoshi knew the pain he felt.

*How could you put up with the abuse day after day?*

There was a tapping on the door then Nagase burst in,
wearing his school uniform. "Tsuyoshi! If you
don't get up, we're going to be late for school." He stopped when he saw
Okada."What are you doing
here?"

"I'm Tsuyoshi's new roommate. I was told to move in
yesterday." Okada tried to explain.

"I was punished for breaking the rules."He wiped a tear off his face."Go ahead, go to school. I'll be
okay."

Just then Leader came into the room. "Okada said
there was an emergency."

"I need you to write two excuse notes, one for me,
and one for Tsuyoshi. Say we're sick." Nagase said.

"You're not sick." The leader looked him over.
"Besides, this is your senior year.You're not supposed to miss too much
school. You might not graduate if you do."

"Tsuyoshi's been traumatized. He's hiding in the
closet." Nagase told him."He
was punished severely by our Manager. He might be injured."

"He can take care of himself."

"Shingeru, Tsuyoshi wouldn't know what to do if he
was hurt.He was a virgin."

"He was a virgin." Leader grew pale."I'll write the notes. Okada can take
them to school when he goes."

"I don't want to go to school." Okada told him.

"Do you want to tell our manager that you’re not
going?" Leader asked."Go take
a shower and get ready!"

"Yes leader." Okada grabbed his bath supplies
and left the room.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want
to." Leader said very softly.

"I don't feel like talking." Tsuyoshi told him.
"I just want to know how Koichi and Okada live with this everyday. Knowing
that at any time, he might call, and you'll be hurt again."

"It's hard. You get afraid of the phone
ringing.A stranger at the door might be
someone to pick you up for the Manager." Leader suddenly looked sad.
"You'll do anything to fill the pain in your soul. Drinking, drugs,
letting other people use your body. But when it's all over, and you've grown
too old for him, the fear begins to fade. You begin to realize that the pain
you feel isn't your fault."

"Oh kami."
Tsuyoshi said, as he realized what he had been told. "How old where you
when it stopped?"

'It stopped the day he
chose Sakamoto as his favorite." He picked up spiral notebook. "I'll
write the notes. The two of you both have a cold."

"Thank you leader," Nagase said.

Tsuyoshi watched as Leader wrote the notes. The news
about him and Sakamoto sunk in.*No
wonder Okada's with Sakamoto, he has someone who can truly understand what he's
going through.*

*******************

Sometime around noon,
Nagase had declared that Tsuyoshi needed to eat.His friend had left to find food.

He sat in the closet. He wanted to
get rid of the feeling that he had.He
felt as if he was dirty, filthy.Even
though Nagase had helped him clean up once, the feeling wouldn't go away.

Tsuyoshi grabbed his robe, and shower things. He went the
bathroom.He locked the
bathroom door. He didn't want anyone to see him. He took off his clothes. He
walked towards the shower. He saw himself for
the first time since the attack.His
body was covered in bruises. He had fought back, and had been punished for
it.

*I don't want to feel this way anymore.* Tsuyoshi turned
the shower on, and stepped inside.*Clean, I have to get clean.*

Memories washed over him as the water fell on him.Of the pain of his first time, how he had
cried during it.Of the cameras that
filmed his humiliation.How he spent the
night being used again and again.

Tsuyoshi scrubbed and scrubbed himself.Still, the feeling wouldn't go away.After a while, the water turned from hot to
warm, then cold. Still Tsuyoshi tried to make
his soul feel better.

"Tsuyoshi, are you in there?" He could hear
Nagase yell for him.

He didn't answer; he was too busy trying to get
clean.He scrubbed himself with a stiff
brush trying to get the dirty feeling to go away. It didn't work. He still felt
filthy.

*Koichi, how could you live with this every day?* he
asked himself. *How can I tell you it happened to
me?*

Minutes passed. Tsuyoshi didn't know how many. Then the
door was unlocked from the outside.

"Tsuyoshi!" Nagase
went to the shower. "Shingeru I found him!"

"Leave me alone. I have to get clean." Tsuyoshi
told him.

"The water's was freezing. It's time to get
out." Nagase he grabbed Tsuyoshi's arm.

"Don't touch me!" Terrified he punched Nagase.
Then fell to the floor with him, as the taller man didn't let go of his
arm.Tsuyoshi fought against
Nagase.He kicked, punched, and scratched
trying to get away.

"Tsu-chan I'm your friend." Nagase tried
to reason.

"You're going to hurt me! I won't let you."

"Let him go!" Leader ordered.

"Get your hands off of me!" Tsuyoshi grabbed a
handful of Nagase's long hair pulling as hard as he could.

"Ouch!" Nagase Yelped. "Let go of my
hair!"

Tsuyoshi responded by pulling harder and kicking him.

"What are you doing Tomoya?" Leader asked.

"I'm trying to help him!"

"If you want to help him, let go of his arm."
Leader insisted.

"He might run!" He put his hand on top of
Tsuyoshi's as he yanked once again on his hair. "I'm going to be bald if
he doesn't stop this!"

"If you're really his friend, do as I say." The
leader told him quietly."I've been
through what he has. I can help him. Just let go of him, and wait for him in
his room."

Tsuyoshi did as he was told.Nagase rubbed his head, and then
he left the room.

He got back to his feet, and went under the shower again.

"Tsuyoshi." Leader
told him very softy. "You've showered enough. It's time to get in the
bathtub."

"I must get clean." Tsuyoshi grabbed a sponge
and began to scrub his raw skin.

"The bathtub is better for getting clean." He
tempted. "The water's warm, soothing. It will make the feeling go
away."

Tsuyoshi stopped his scrubbing. "You know the
feeling?"

"I've felt that way many times before. No one except
for those who have gone through what we have knows what it is. How you can
never get clean." Leader reached out, turning off the water."I thought you might need a bath, so I
all ready drew one."

Tsuyoshi let his friend guide him to the tub. The leader
took the lid off. Tsuyoshi reached out, touching the water. It was as he had
been told. It was warm.He got into the
tub, and sat down. The warmth made his bruises and aching bones feel better.

"Will you stay here with me?" Tsuyoshi asked.

"Of course I will." he pulled up a chair and
sat down.They chatted for quite a while
about their homes in Nara.

"I don't think you know this, but you were Koichi
first friend." Leader told him.

"You're kidding." Tsuyoshi gasped. "Koichi
has lots of friends."

"Koichi once told me that you tried as hard as you
could to feel welcome." Leader
smiled."The two of you’ve been
roommates since you joined the juniors."

"Yeah, we've been together for quite a while."
Tsuyoshi told him. "He's a good friend. He's very loyal."

"You're a good friend to
him. You stood by him through all the abuse he went through." he said.
"Koichi will stand by you through all of this."

"I wish he was here. Somehow he would make this
entire stop."

"Why don't you soak for a while?" Leader
suggested.

Tsuyoshi leaned against the wall of the bath tub and
closed his eyes. After about thirty minutes, Tsuyoshi began to feel better. He
had questions, questions that he knew Nagase would never be able to answer.

"Our Manager said he will call for me tonight."
Tsuyoshi told Leader. "What can I do to make it not hurt so much?"

"You can't fight back." Leader warned. "It
makes the beatings worse."

"I don't want it to happen." Tsuyoshi insisted.

"I know you don't. It angers the Manager when you
struggle." He paused."When he
wants to have sex you must relax."

The memory of the rape flashed through
his mind. "How can I? It hurts so much."

"He'll never forgive me for this." Tsuyoshi
paused. "He called me a whore. He was right."

"No, he was wrong when he called you that."
Leader said. "He feels bad for calling you those names. You know that
don't you?"

"Yes, I do." Tsuyoshi looked at his friend.
"Can I get out now?"

"How are you feeling?"

"I'll survive." Tsuyoshi realized.

"Do you want to go to the hospital?" Leader
offered. "I talked to Koichi this morning. He misses you."

"I'm forbidden to go." he looked down to his
bruised arms."Besides, I don't
want him to see me this way. It would be better if he remembers how I used
to be."

"I could take him a
note."

"Would you? I would really like to write to
him." Tsuyoshi decided.

'Why don't you get out, and write him that note?"
Leader suggested.

"Okay, I will." Tsuyoshi got out of the tub.
The leader helped him towel himself off.Then he handed him his robe.

**********************

Koichi was a very bored man. The doctor had
told him that he would have to spend two
weeks in the hospital recovering. The manager had paid good money so that
Koichi would fully recuperate. He had been operated on twice. Once for his
nose, the other for his crushed rib bone. His left arm was in a cast. He
couldn't move much, and he felt as if he had a perpetual cold.

All Koichi had
to entertain him was a TV remote. He would change the
channels frequently, looking for commercials with Tsuyoshi.He moved his blanket. Underneath was a photo
of the two of them together. He wasn't sure how he had it. It had been with him
when he woke up from surgery.He pulled
it out and placed it on his leg. Then he traced the
outline of Tsuyoshi's face with his finger. *My beautiful prince. Have you
forgiven me for cheating on you?*

He had dim memories of Tsuyoshi being with him after the
surgery. He could remember his friend had placed his ring back on his finger.
He wasn't sure if it was a dream or reality. He felt warm, comforted when he
thought of his friend. He looked down to the ring.

Just then Leader came into the room.He was caring a bag.Koichi hid the
photo back under the blanket. He looked behind Leader. His friend has told him
he would bring Tsuyoshi to visit. But his partner wasn't with him.

"Good afternoon." Koichi tried
to keep the disappointment out of his voice."Is Tsuyoshi still at school?"

"I don't know. I've never been able to understand
our manager." He said.

"Am I going to have any visitors?"

"Probably tomorrow." he put the bag he was
holding on Koichi's lap."Tsuyoshi
sent you some presents."

He opened the bag.
Inside was a manga, a notebook book and some pens.
"Can you help me with this?"

"Sure," Leader took them out. He opened
the notebook from the back. Pasted to
the inside back cover of the book was pictures of the two of them together.
"He thought you needed some inspiration."

"I'd rather have him."

"You can't have everything." Leader shut the
book. He set it on the bedside table. Then he took the bag from Koichi. He
pulled out a piece of paper. "He wanted you to read this."

"Thanks." he took the paper.

Ko-chan,

How are you doing? I've been thinking of you a lot.Is your arm feeling any better?It has been very boring without you
around.Doing my homework isn't quite
the same. I miss your smile. I didn't realize how important you are to me until
suddenly you where gone.

I want to visit you, but I've been forbidden to.If I had my way, I would be at your side.
Instead I have to visit you through a letter.I am sorry for what happened.Our
fight was my fault. I should have told Shingo to find someone else to rub his
back.I didn't know he would hurt you.

There is so much I want to tell you. Things I don't want
to put in a letter. You're my partner, a relationship that is beyond
friendship, beyond family, beyond a lover.If I call you partner no one would question us. But we would know the
truth.Can I start calling you partner?

Leader knows about our relationship. Can we trust him?

Management has
canceled our TV appearances until you get out of hospital. So don't worry about
not seeing me on TV.I'll write to you
again.

I forgive you for
being with Mabo. He's confessed to
blackmailing you. How about when we get out of the hospital, we start fresh?

Love you, Tsuyoshi

Koichi put the note down. "What's wrong with Tsuyoshi?"

"What do you mean?" Leader asked innocently.

"Something's bothering him."

"How can you tell?"

"I know Tsuyoshi." Koichi read
the note again. "Something must have happened. He tells
me that there's so much he wants to tell me."

"He's very worried about you. He blames himself for
what happened." Leader finally said.

"That's
crazy, all this is my fault." Koichi knew something else must be going on.
Perhaps Leader didn't know what it was. "If I wrote a letter, could you
deliver it for me?"

"Of course I would." Leader handed Koichi his
notebook book and a pencil. Koichi opened the
cover and began to write.

Tsuyoshi,

Please forgive me for being such a Baga. I was
jealous.You are my prince. I should
have trusted you.Don't blame yourself
for what happened. It's my fault.

I would be honored if you called me partner. I agree with
you, our relationship is beyond friendship, beyond family. I can't see my life
without you.It's so strange. Just a few
years ago we didn't know each other, but now it seems if I've known you all my
life. You know me better then I know myself.

Don't worry about Leader telling on us. He won't.

Do you remember them calling us Double Domoto? I thought
it was strange that I would be partnered with someone with my own family
name.Even then you seemed so
glamorous.At the time I knew there was
something wrong with me. Before I joined the
agency, people called me names. Then I met you, and realized nothing wrong with
me. I've been teased before about having you as my first on screen kiss. But I
wouldn't have it any other way.Do you
remember how we had to practice for it, and
how you laughed?It was your first ever
kiss.

I want to get out of hospital. I want to hold you again.
I want to prove to you that I'll be true to you.

I better get going. Leader is looking at me funny.

Love you

********************

Running, Tsuyoshi was running. He had to
get away from the people who where chasing him. He was bruised, battered.He could see Koichi in the distance. He was
sitting on a bed.

*I have to get to him!*

Tsuyoshi ran towards his friend.The sounds of the hunters pursuing him where
getting closer and closer. He ran into a fence. He could see Koichi a few
meters from him.Tsuyoshi tried
to climb over the fence, but he was too high.

"Koichi! Koichi" he
screamed. "Help me! Ko-chan!"

His friend looked up to him; there was blood all over his
shirt. His nose was broken; he held his broken arm close to his body."I can’t," Koichi told him. "I'm
too injured."

Tsuyoshi could feel his hunters grabbing him. He held
onto the fence tightly."Koichi,
help me!"

"This is your punishment." Koichi hissed.

"What did I do to deserve this?"

"You cheated on me! You promised me that I would
your first." there was hatred in his eyes."Take your punishment as a man!"

Tsuyoshi suddenly knew where he was. He was in the closet
of his bedroom.Tsuyoshi's roommate sat
on the closet floor beside him, he looked concerned."Are you all right?"

"I had a dream." Tsuyoshi moved his hair out of
his face.It had been nine days since he
became the Manager's favorite. Nine days of a living nightmare. Not only did he
have nightmares at the Manager's mansion, he had them
every time he closed his eyes.

"Perhaps you should go back to sleep." Okada
suggested.

"No! I'll have the dream again."

"What was it about?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Were you dreaming being locked in the closet?"
Okada guessed."I dream about that
sometimes. I dream that he's put me in there, and forgotten about me."

"I forget that you've gone through it too."
Tsuyoshi said. "If I told you my dream, would you tell on me?"

“You’re my friend."

"I've had this
dream several times a night since our manager first called for me."
Tsuyoshi told him. "He's made a new game.He has told his business associates that if they catch me, they can have
me.I'm allowed a five minute
start.So I run and run. I see Koichi in
the distance.I run to him. I am almost
there, when there is a fence. I scream for him to help me. But he won't.He's too injured to
help me. He says I deserve this punishment. Then the hunters take me
away."

"In your dream, you're running from what's been happening
to you." Okada explained."The
one you know would help you can't. He's in the hospital."

"You're right." Tsuyoshi said. "I feel as
if Koichi had been there none of it would have happened. He would have
protected me."

"Perhaps you should go to the hospital and
tell him."

"No I can't!" He almost shouted. He took a deep
breath. "I don't want him to see me this way."

"Why don't you go back to
sleep?"

"I can't. I'll have the dream again."

"I can sleep with you. Perhaps if I'm there, it
might help."

"You won't hurt me?" Tsuyoshi asked afraid.

"No, I won't hurt you!" Okada smiled.
"I'll be there only as a friend." Tsuyoshi moved over. Okada got into
the closet. He lay down beside him, not touching.

Tsuyoshi decided to ask
something that he had been wondering. "When you became the Manager's
favorite, did Sakamoto help you?"

"No, it was about a month later." Okada told
him. "I became Sakamoto's roommate.I didn't tell him what happened. How could I? But he knew, some how he
knew. If I had dreams, he would be there for me. I felt safe in his arms. No
one would hurt me if he was with me."

"You fell in love with him." Tsuyoshi guessed.

"I didn't mean to. It just happened. I didn't tell
him. He's so much older then me."

"Then how did you become lovers?"

"Yuki-chan once told me that love feels different
when you want it." Okada paused."I decided to try it out. I
seduced him."

"You seduced him? I thought he would be the one to
seduce you."

"You didn't think I could seduce Sakamoto because
I'm younger?" Okada raised a knowing eyebrow. "Yuki-chan was right;
it did feel different when you want it."

"Does he love you?" Tsuyoshi asked.

"To him I'm just a friend. But I'm happy with what
we have."

"Koichi sleeps around."

"Try to understand why he did it. He once told me
that sleeping with someone made the dirty feeling go away for a few
hours."

"Your right, I do." Tsuyoshi closed his eyes.
With his friend beside him, he slept.

Tsuyoshi was in his room, he was studying with
Nagase.It had been ten days since the
Manager had first called for him. He had been sent for every night since
then.Tsuyoshi couldn't stop thinking
of his partner. He wasn't allowed to visit or
talk to Koichi on the phone.All that
Tsuyoshi had to keep him sane was the letters
he wrote to Koichi.He felt like the
notes where a tie to what Tsuyoshi used to be.
In the letters he was still the innocent Tsuyoshi.He had never told his friend
the truth.

"I want to see Koichi." Tsuyoshi said. "I
miss him."

"How about if the Manager doesn't call you tonight,
we'll smuggle you into his room?" Nagase suggested.

"I'm not sure I should go." Tsuyoshi looked
away. "I don't want Koichi to see me like this."

"If you’re put in the closet, you’re bound and
gagged. You can't move. After a few hours, you'll do anything he wants."
Tsuyoshi explained."Trust me. It's
like hell."

****************

As soon as they
arrived at the Manager's bedroom, Tsuyoshi undressed.He folded his clothes, and put them in a
corner. He sat down on the bed.He
picked up the chain that was fastened to the
side of the bed frame. There was a handcuff attached to
it.Tsuyoshi snapped the
cuff around his left wrist, and then locked
it. Then he checked to see if it was locked.

"Is the lock fastened?" The Manager asked.

"Yes, master."

"I want you to wear the neck chain tonight."

'It will be my pleasure." Tsuyoshi lifted a door in the
headboard. Then he took a chain that was fastened to
the headboard. There was an iron collar attached to
it. He put it around his neck, and then he
picked up the lock and locked it."It's locked Master."

"You're a good pet. You've learned quickly to enjoy
your visits."

"Thank you." Tsuyoshi didn't tell him what he
really thought. That he hated the Manager with
all of his soul. Instead, he had learned to do
what ever the Manager ordered him to do.

"Hurry up Junichi!" the Manager snapped.
"What's the problem?"

He watched as the youngest member of V6 very slowly took
off his clothes, his back to Tsuyoshi.His bruises had faded. Okada hadn't looked at him since they had left
the dorm.He had sat in the limo, crying
to himself.Tsuyoshi wondered if his
friend had thought that his visits where
over.

"I've been waiting a long time to see the two of you
together."

For the first time, Tsuyoshi realized what the manager
wanted. His blood ran cold. He didn't want to have sex with his friend. He
didn't say anything. He knew what would happen if he did.

"Kiss Tsuyoshi!" the manager ordered.

"No."
Okada said very softy.

"What did you say?" The Manager growled.

"I won't kiss him!"

"You've given yourself to others while I watched.
What's so different if it's Tsuyoshi?"

"He's my friend.I won't have sex with him." The youngster growled. "I don't
want to be with him!"

"I don't care." the Manager was getting angry,
very angry.He slapped Okada hard in the
face. "I want to see the both of you together. So you'll be
together!"

"I'm not a
pet! I'm a boy! I'm sick of you treating me this way!" Okada yelled.

The Manager took a cane rod off the dresser.He hit Okada in the back with it.Tsuyoshi watched in horror as his friend was
hit over and over with the rod.The
young man curled up in a ball, screams of pain emitted from his lips every time
he was hit.

'The Manager stopped for a moment. "Will you do as
you're told?"

"I'll do anything you want me to, as long as it
doesn't involve Tsuyoshi." Okada vowed.

The Manager grabbed Okada. He pulled him to the closet.
The Manager tied his wrists, and then tied his
feet together.He used duct tape to
fasten Okada's mouth and eyes.The door
to the closet was opened, and Okada was pushed in. The door was then slammed
shut and locked.

The manager turned to
Tsuyoshi. "Now my dear, lets have some fun."

"I've been looking forwards to it." Tsuyoshi
plastered on a fake smile.

****************************

It had been twenty-four hours since the manager had
thrown Okada in the closet.Every few hours, the door had been opened, and the
teenager had been beaten. When the manager had gone to the office, a servant
had done the job.Before the third
beating, the servant had taken the tape off of
Okada's mouth and had forgotten to put it back on.

After the servant left, Tsuyoshi had gotten off the
bed.The chains that held him were so
long that he could walk to the closet.He sat down on the floor beside it.

"Junichi, can you hear me?" Tsuyoshi asked.

"Yeah," the young man said through
the door.

"Why are you refusing to do what he asks?"

"You're my friend."

"If I wasn't your friend, would you do as he
wanted?"

"I know what you’re going to say. I can't pretend
we're not friends.I betrayed you once.
I won't again." Okada promised."He can keep me here my whole life, and it won't change the way I
feel."

Tsuyoshi was surprised by Okada's loyalty. "What
happens when he gets back?"

"He'll beat me again."

"Why are you resisting him?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"We both know it hurts more if you do."

"I'm tired of him hurting me." Okada confessed.
"I want to have a normal life."

"Why don't we close our eyes during it, and pretend
we're the ones we love."He
suggested. "I think that would be the only way I would be able to
perform."

"Yeah, me too." Okada
admitted.

Just then the Manager came into the room. "What are
you doing out of bed?"

"I was talking to Okada."

The Manager grabbed the
neck chain and yanked it hard. Tsuyoshi couldn’t' help it, he cried out in
pain. "I told you to leave Junichi alone. Now get back on the bed!"

"Yes Master." Tsuyoshi did as he was told.

The Manager turned on the video camera. He then opened
the closet door. "Will you do as I ask?"

"Yes Master. I will." Okada's hands and feet
where untied. Lastly, the tape was pulled off of his eyes.

"Now prove it! Kiss
Tsuyoshi!" The Manager ordered.

Okada went to the bed. He bent down, kissing his friend.
Tsuyoshi ignored the video camera, and
the manager. He closed his eyes and pretended
that Okada was Koichi.

*****************

Koichi knew that something had happened. In the two weeks
that went by many of his dorm mates had visited him, but Tsuyoshi was
noticeable in his absence.If they
hadn't exchanged letters almost every day, it would have been unbearable. He
looked down the cast on his arm. All of his visitors had signed it.He had left a space for Tsuyoshi.

Leader was the one that took Koichi back to the dorms. He
could see Tsuyoshi watching from his bedroom window.His friend looked lost and lonely. Even so
far away, Koichi couldn't help but notice the bruises on his friend's face.

"What happened?" Koichi asked as he got out of
the car. "Tsu-chan has a black eye."

"I suppose he does." Leader sounded distracted.

"Did he get into a fight?"

"We need to
talk." Leader gestured to a bench that
was at the side of the driveway. They sat down. "I want to ask you to give
Tsuyoshi a lot of room. Be extra careful around him."

"That doesn't make any sense. Why do I have to be
careful around him?" he asked confused.

"In the time you've been gone a lot of things have
happened."Leader tried
to explain. "He's changed. He isn't the Tsuyoshi you
knew.""

"The letters. I knew there
was something going on when I read them."
Koichi tried to gather his thoughts.
"Does he have a new boyfriend?"

"His heart belongs to you." the leader said.
"But his heart has been hurt. Right now he's in a lot of pain."

"Is it because we had a fight? What I said
to him, I didn't mean!"

"He knows that." Leader took a deep breath and
let it out."Tsuyoshi is our
Managers new favorite."

"No, oh my god, no." Koichi
closed his eyes for a moment.His worst
nightmare had come true. His best friend was now the Manager's favorite."Why? Why would he take Tsuyoshi?"

"I think at first he wanted to
punish Tsuyoshi for breaking the rules. But after that, he was called for every
night."

"How did the
manager know we broke the rules?"

"Okada was
called for at the Hospital. The next day, someone came to get Tsuyoshi."
Leader explained."He came back the
next morning. He had been raped."

"So Okada betrayed us." Koichi tried
to control his temper.

"You should know that Okada's your new room
mate."

"Great, just great. I have
to live with the boy who caused Tsu-chan pain. I bet it was the Manager's idea,
wasn't it?" Koichi said frustrated.

"Who else would it be?" Leader tried
to gather his thoughts. "Tsuyoshi blames himself for all
of this. He thinks he's cheating on you."

"I need to see
Tsuyoshi." He said in a rush. "I need to
tell him that I understand what he's going through.""

Koichi walked slowly to his room. He wasn't sure if
Tsuyoshi wanted to see him again. He stopped
in front of the room.Koichi knew that his
friend was inside the room, but he didn't want to frighten him. So he tapped
lightly on the door.

"Come in." Tsuyoshi said without looking up.

The door opened. Koichi came in, shutting the door.
"I'm back."

"Welcome back." Tsuyoshi picked up a stack of
his clothes. He was putting his things in a box. For the first time Koichi
noticed the bruises on Tsuyoshi's wrists and
arms, some new, some fading.There where
bruises on his neck from the metal collar.

"What are you doing?" Koichi tried
to sound light hearted.

"I was supposed have moved before you got
back." Tsuyoshi tried to smile.
"I've been too busy to completely move out."

"Are there new rules about us?"

"Many new rules." He
smoothed back his hair. It was dirty, as was the clothes he was wearing.Even that had changed in his friend.Gone was the well groomed friend. What stood
before him was a shell of Tsuyoshi.

"Do you agree with them?"

"Of course I don't agree with the new rules."
Tsuyoshi looked away from him. "I didn't get a choice. The only way I can
keep you is if I agree with them"

"I understand." He said softly. "Did our
Manager do that to your face?"

Tsuyoshi flinched. Then he put the clothes he was holding
in the box. "I had to be punished."

"The Manager owns me. He has a right to do what ever
he wants to with my body." A tear trickled down Tsuyoshi's cheek. "I
wanted you to be my first."

"What our Manager did to
you didn't count. You're still a virgin." Koichi went Tsuyoshi.

Tsuyoshi backed away from him. "Don't touch
me!"

Koichi stepped back several paces. He raised his good
hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

Tsuyoshi went back to packing. Koichi realized
that all this had happened because he hadn't trusted his
friend. Now he had been abused. Tsuyoshi's spirit had been destroyed.He seemed to
be almost a different person. Tsuyoshi was now timid, shy afraid of everything.Not caring of his looks or things around him.

"That's what the past two weeks have been. I'm
suddenly living in hell." Tsuyoshi looked away from him. "I don’t
want to live there anymore. I want my pain to go away. I want to be able to
have you touch me without being afraid."

"He's the one who told on you." Koichi tried
to reason. "If he hadn't, none of this would have
happened! Okada destroyed your life!"

"Koichi, I've forgiven him. I think you should
too."

"It's okay, I deserve what Koichi says. I did
destroy your lives!" Okada took off his shirt; he tossed it in the hamper.
Then he went to the closet.The younger
man's back was crossed with strap marks. He took out a t-shirt and pulled it
on."I'll go back downstairs to
study. I won't' tell on you."

"What happened to
you?" Koichi asked. "Why do you have bruises?"

"Do you think that you where the only favorite that
he beat?" Tsuyoshi said."I've
seen his being tortured. I don't blame him for what he did."

"When I was your age, I was beaten into telling on
two of the members of Smap." Koichi confessed. "They used
to be good friends, now they won't even work with me. I was
beaten because I wasn't enough like Goro. Now you’re beaten because you’re not
like me." Koichi paused. "Goro told me that our Manager beat him for
not being like Sakamoto."

"No one trusts me. Even some members of my own group
can't stand me." the younger
boy said. "I wish I could go home. But my mother won't let me. It's my
fault that Tsuyoshi became his favorite. I can't forgive myself for putting him
through it."

"Thanks. I'll stay downstairs for two hours. I won't
be able to tell on what I don't see, now can I?" With that, Okada left.

***************

Tsuyoshi sat on his bed with Koichi. He couldn’t' help
but stare at his friend. His friend had a cast on his left arm that went up
past his elbow.He no longer had
the bandage on his face, but his nose was still a bit
swollen.

"Do I look strange?" Koichi finally asked.

"I think your nose looks better now then before it
was broken." Tsuyoshi told him.

Koichi couldn't help but smile. He reached up, touching
it. "It used to have a little bump from
when I broke it as a kid."

"Can I touch it?" Tsuyoshi asked. Koichi
nodded.He reached out, touching his
best friend's nose.Then his hand went
to Koichi's cheek.He had an
overwhelming urge to kiss Koichi. He kissed him very gently.

"Not as much
as my arm. I can't scratch it." Koichi paused. "Would you sign it for
me?"

Tsuyoshi couldn't help but smile. "Be glad
to."

"Do you have a marker?"

Tsuyoshi got up and went the desk; he got out a permanent
marker. Koichi pointed at the blank spot. He wrote "Partners
forever." and signed his name. Then he sat back down.

"Why don’t' we work on homework tonight?"
Koichi suggested."I've got a lot
of homework to catch up with."

"I can't, I have other plans." Just thinking of
what the Manager had planned for Tsuyoshi made the teenager’s chest feel tight.
He found it hard to breathe.*How can I tell you about being Manager's
favorite?*

"That's okay, perhaps tomorrow night."

"I promised I would break up with you."
suddenly Tsuyoshi felt as if he was choking. He gasped for breath.

"I see," Tsuyoshi felt like a fool. He should
have realized that his friend would never
forgive him for what happened.He tried
to get up without touching Koichi; instead he felt his legs
give out on him. His chest began to hurt, and he felt dizzy.

"I'm fine."Tsuyoshi went to the window; he moved the
curtain so he could look out. The tears he had kept in began to fall.How he had wanted to
be with Koichi, and the knowledge that it
would never happen. Again his legs gave out, he sank to the floor.

He could hear Koichi getting off the bed. "Tsu-chan."

"I don't want to break up with you. I want you to be
at my side." He grasped at his chest as he tried to
catch his breath.

"You're having a panic attack." Koichi
realized.

All Tsuyoshi could do was nod. Koichi went to the drawer
that Tsuyoshi had kept his paper bags in. Koichi took one out and prepared it
for him. Then his friend knelt down beside him.

"Breathe into this." He pressed
the bag into Tsuyoshi's hand.

"Why are you being so nice to me? We've broken
up." he put the bag over his mouth. He began to breathe into it.

Tsuyoshi nodded. Koichi put his right arm around
Tsuyoshi's shoulders. "I'm sorry. What I said didn't come out right."
Koichi began to stroke his hair."I
have to say that we've broken up. But we'll know the truth. We're together, and
we love each other."

As soon as Tsuyoshi's breathing stabilized, he removed
the bag from his mouth. He leaned into his friend.

"I feel safer now you're back." Tsuyoshi's
breathing became labored again. He put the bag back against his mouth, and
breathed into it.

A few minutes passed, and Tsuyoshi realized his breathing
was back to normal. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to panic like that."

"Why are you
still afraid?"

"The Manager's going to call for me tonight."
Tsuyoshi couldn't keep the despair out of his voice. "I'll probably be
gone all night. I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you."

"How many times has it happened?"

Tsuyoshi looked away from him. "I've been called for
a total of fourteen times. I don't know why our Manager calls for me. He says
I'm too old. Then he beats me for being too old."

"He's hurting you to punish me." Koichi told
him.

"I want to die when he touches Me."
he admitted.

"I can make it so he'll never hurt you again."
Koichi kissed Tsuyoshi's forehead. "Would you like me to do that?"

"I'm little more then an animal. He'll never stop
using me."

"You're not an animal. You're a man!" Koichi
said firmly. "You're the man I love."

Tsuyoshi was comforted by his friend's touch.Their lips met. The kiss was soft, gentle,
comforting.Tsuyoshi touched
the back of Koichi's head.After a few minutes, Tsuyoshi pulled away from him. "When you touch
me, I don't feel like a whore."

Two days had passed since Koichi's return.In that time, Tsuyoshi hadn't been called
for.Tsuyoshi sat on his bed in his new
room doing his homework. He had been very busy trying to make up all the
homework he hadn't completed as favorite. He hated his new room. He had to
share it with Myake Ken. The nicest thing that the
younger teen called him was a whore.

There was a knock
at the door. Thankful he had a break from his homework; he got up and answered
it.It was Leader. "Tsuyoshi, you
need to get down to Koichi's room right
now."

"What's wrong?" "

"If you don't get downstairs right now, it might be
too late!" Leader insisted."Koichi's leaving the dorms forever. You have to talk to him!"

"On my way." Tsuyoshi
ran to Koichi's room. , his partner had a box on his bed. Koichi was going
through a drawer, piling things on the dresser. Tsuyoshi fought down a bit of
panic.Leader had been right, Koichi was
leaving.

Tsuyoshi stopped in the doorway. "What are you
doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm packing." Koichi
put clothes in the box."Before you
ask, I'm not quitting the group. I just have a new place to stay."

"Where are you going?"

"What does it matter?" Koichi countered."It's none of your business where I
live."

The comment hurt Tsuyoshi."I'm your partner. I need
to know why you are leaving."

Koichi stopped for a moment. A look of pain crossed his
face."I can't tell you. You
wouldn't understand."

"We have rehearsals and school. Will you be
there?"

"I'll be there for anything the Kinki Kids do."
Koichi began to pack again. "I am getting a private tutor for
school."

"Stay out of my life!" With his good hand,
Koichi ran his hand through his hair. For the
first time, Tsuyoshi could see a bruise on Koichi's wrist. A bruise that was
identical to one Tsuyoshi had on his own wrist.

"You were with the Manager last night."
Tsuyoshi gasped.

"I've seen the light, its better if I'm with him
then you."

"How can you say that?" Tsuyoshi asked. "I
love you."

Koichi flinched. "Don't ever say that again. It's
over between us. Don’t' try to talk me out of it. I've made my choice."

Tsuyoshi fought back the tears.Koichi had broken up with him. Tsuyoshi took
off his ring. "You'll want this back."

"Keep it; I have no use for it." Koichi said
coldly.

Okada came running into the room. "It's true; I
can't believe it's true."

"There was a honk outside. Koichi threw the last
pile of clothes in his box. "That's my ride. I'll send for my other
stuff."

"Koichi, what's going on? Tsuyoshi demanded.
"Why did you break up with me?"

"Good bye."Koichi picked up the box with his good arm, and left.

Tsuyoshi went to the window, Koichi at his side. In the
driveway was as limo.When Koichi arrived,
the driver jumped out and took the box from
him. It was the Manager's driver. Tsuyoshi watched in horror as the driver put
the package in the car's trunk.Then he
opened the door for Koichi. For a brief moment
Koichi looked up to Tsuyoshi. There was sadness written across his face. Their
eyes met, and it seemed as if they where standing in time. The drive said
something, and Koichi got into the car.

Okada picked a letter off Koichi's bed. "He left a
letter, it's addressed to you."

Tsuyoshi took the letter. With trembling fingers he
opened it.

"My beloved,

When I came home, and saw how hurt you were, my heart
broke. The man I loved had changed into something that I barely recognized.
There is a pain in your heart, a pain that has destroyed your spirit. Your pain
is my fault. A year ago, our Manager asked me to move into his mansion. I
refused.He took the chance of my being
in the hospital to punish me through you.

I went to the Manager the night of your return. I've made
a deal with him. If I move into the mansion, he will leave you and Okada alone.
I am not a virgin. I've been with many men. I'm used to
the abuse that he gave me. So I am giving myself to him. It is the price I must
pay to you. The Manager will no longer call for you. You'll never have to fear
being abused. You are free. No one will ever touch you again against your will.

I must break up with you to save you. We will never be
together again.There will still be a
KinKi Kids, but now we will only be partners. No longer friends, no longer in
love with each other.

I know you will
hate me for this. I hate myself for doing this. But I'll be able to see you
free. You'll go back to being the man I fell in love with. Your soul will
recover, and I'll see your smile again.

In time, you'll forget me. You'll find someone else to
love. The man you love won't bring you the pain that I have. I will go back to
hell so that my prince will be free.

I will wear your ring. It will remind me of my first
love, my only love. The love I've given everything up for.

I do love you.I'll never stop loving you.

Goodbye

Koichi"

"Do you know
what this says?" Tsuyoshi asked.

"Koichi told me his plans this morning." Okada
sat down on his bed."I didn't
believe him until the limo arrived."

Nagase came into the room. "What's going on?"

"Koichi moved out." Tsuyoshi sat down on his
lover's bed."He left a
letter."

Let me see."

Tsuyoshi handed him the letter.Nagase sat down beside him and read it."I was wrong. He does love you."

Tsuyoshi felt confused."If Koichi loved me, why would he do this?"

"If Koichi didn’t love you, he would allow you to go
on hurting." Nagase explained. "But seeing your pain wounded his
soul. He's giving his happiness up to save you."

"Would you rather be with Koichi, and be hurt by the
Manager every night?" Nagase countered."Koichi gave you a gift. No one will ever touch you again without
your permission."

His friend’s words sunk into Tsuyoshi. He would never be
hurt again. Koichi had kept his promise.

"Koichi's wrong. I don't hate him. What he did made
me love him more." Tsuyoshi took the Koichi's ring off his right index
finger, and placed it on his left. "I'll wear it this way. Perhaps without
saying anything he'll realize that I'll wait for him."

"Koichi and I are working on a drama together."
Junichi said. "I could deliver a note to him."

Tsuyoshi nodded. "Can I borrow some paper?"

Okada took a notebook and a pen out of his desk.
"I'll be sure he gets it."

Tsuyoshi sat down at the desk and began to write. He couldn't
help but notice his friends grabbed mangas and sat
down on one of the beds.

"Koichi,

When you say that we've broken up, you're wrong.Officially we are broken up, but our hearts
know better.You will live in my heart.
When you are feeling down, look at my ring. It's a sign that there is someone
waiting for you.I have faith that
someday you'll be allowed to come back to
me.The man I love has given up
everything for me. You're giving yourself up makes me love you more. You are
still my partner.I know it will be
difficult for us, but I would rather have the challenge instead of being alone.

We are supposed to
rehearse together this coming week. I know we won't be able to talk, but if you
feel the same way I do, please put my ring on your left hand.If I see it on your right, I will understand
your choice and I'll never write to you again.

You might not be with me, but we'll always be together.

I'll wait for you.

Tsuyoshi"

Tsuyoshi tore the paper out of the notebook. Then he
folded it up. He put "To Koichi' on the outside. He got up, and handed
the paper to Okada. "Please give this to Koichi."

Okada nodded. "I will."

"Thank you." With that, Tsuyoshi left the room.
He looked down to Koichi's ring."We'll be together again."