What If There Was Only One You?

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What if there was only one you?

When I ask this question of the women in my life–clients, colleagues, or friends–it inevitably results in an invitation to close the gaps. Sometimes there are small things. For example, one client stopped coloring her hair, and another one stopped straightening her unruly locks. Still another changed her profile picture to the “real” her, which includes an extra 30 pounds.

They begin to whisper about their needs, and schedule some alone time for spiritual exploration or creativity, and the occasional girls night out. Some start telling their children about dreamy experiences they had a million years ago, and about how they still want to get back on stage, behind a piano, or in the classroom. They start pulling together the two–the woman and the mother–in search of a new way of being, a way to be a whole woman.

Sometimes, it takes something far more intense to close the gap–leaving a relationship with a friend, family member, or partner, is among the most extraordinary. It might mean coming out of the closet, or the rest of the way out of the closet. It may mean going back to school to become the thing you wanted to be when you were little. You know the thing, the dream you gave up because they didn’t think you could do it.