[SpongeBob's alarm rings, his house blows toward Squidward's house, Squidward wakes up in dread, sand hands then cover the house's ears, then SpongeBob, in brown plaid, poses for one second then runs to Patrick's house]

Man with French accent: We hope you enjoyed this brief construction montage.

[cuts to outside of house, with sounds and SpongeBob's house shaking. Cuts to inside of Squidward's house]

Squidward:[grumbles then gets so angry his sleep mask burns off, puts three pillows on a desk, ties them to his face with a rope, still hears them, then rips pillows off and screams. He walks to SpongeBob's house with umbrella, cuts to inside, where SpongeBob and Patrick are constructing] Hey! Hello?! Nitwit, morons.[Patrick hits Squidward with a hammer, Squidward screams]

SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Squidward. Up from your slumber, I see. Well, you're just in time to endure in a friendly game of [shows course] indoor miniature golf!

Squidward: I will not indulge in anything friendly or otherwise with the likes of you two! Presently, I am heading to enjoy a well-deserved morning nap!

Patrick: But we sculpted your likeness out of butter on hole five. [cuts to sculpture]

Squidward: I don't care! Listen up, I will not be woken from my nap again, and if I am, I'm gonna...

Patrick: Join us on the back nine?

Squidward: Just don't let it happen again! Or else. [leaves]

SpongeBob: Let's get this game teed off. [balls come out of his head, he catches them, places a ball and tee on grass] You're up first, my good man.

Patrick: Fine. Have it your way. [moves ball back to original place, shoots, makes it] Ready to give up?

[cuts to a hole]

Patrick: Ha! Let's see how you do against the windmill. You haven't got a chance.

SpongeBob: You know, Patrick, this is just a game.

Patrick: Oh, it is just a game, which I am gonna win.

SpongeBob: I think you're missing the point. [aims, practice shots]

Patrick: Speaking of m-m-MISSING! [SpongeBob shoots by accident, startled by Patrick] Ha! Gotta play it where it lands. Watch and learn, SquarePants. Watch and learn. [shoots and makes it] YES! See if you can top that!

SpongeBob:[uneasily] Okay.

Patrick:[with microphone and headphones] SpongeBob readies the approach shot. He's gotta be very careful he doesn't hook the shot here, because this would certainly be an inopportune time for a bogey. [SpongeBob swings but stops] A pressure-packed shot to be sure. [leaves]

[SpongeBob sweats and wipes his forehead, shoots, ball stops right before it's about to go in]

Patrick: Whatever. [shoots and makes it] AND HE SINKS ANOTHER HOLE IN ONE! That's two in a row!

SpongeBob: All right. You wanna play competitive, eh? Observe. [shoots and makes it] Right between the old wickets. Come on bally, don't fail me now.

Patrick: Watch out for the water hazard.

SpongeBob: Patrick, the only hazard I can see is you standing in my shot.

Patrick: I have no idea what you're talking about.

SpongeBob: Fine. Be that way. I'll just go around you. [shoots ball an ball ricochets off of a picture, through a sculpture and out the window] Oops.

Patrick: Show-off. I can do that. [shoots, SpongeBob ducks and goes out the window]

SpongeBob: Oh, where did our balls go?

Patrick: Well, how do I know? I was just copying you.

SpongeBob:[shows side of Squidward's house and broken window] Uh-oh. Oh well, I guess that's game point.

Patrick: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, hold on there, fella. It's not over yet.

SpongeBob: But remember what Squidward said? We can't make any noise!

Patrick: Who said anything about noise? We're just gonna get outta the rough and back to the course!

SpongeBob: Hey! Patrick. Patrick! What's the big idea? I thought we were in here to play golf, remember?

Patrick: Okay, okay!

SpongeBob: Now where is that darn ball?

Patrick: Oh!

SpongeBob: Patrick, have you seen by ball?

Patrick: Was it a red one?

SpongeBob: M-hmm.

Patrick: It might have been in the kelp salad.

SpongeBob: Patrick, you ate my ball?

Patrick: Don't worry, I'll get it.

SpongeBob: Patrick, no!

Patrick: No?

SpongeBob: I have to play the ball where it lies. [goes inside Patrick and opens his mouth] You'll need to leave this open. [goes back inside] Now, let's see, if I was a golf ball, where would I-oh! Next to the gallbladder, of course. Fore! [the ball goes through wall and hits lamp] Where's your ball?

Patrick: I don't know. Gotta be around here somewhere. [ball is seen in Patrick's bum hole on outside of his pants]

SpongeBob: There it is!

Patrick: Uh-oh.

SpongeBob: Play it where it lies.

Patrick:[angrily grumbling. Cuts to him shooting it and ricocheting off a cabinet to a overhead desk lamp, picture, and through a wall] Hole in one! Top that!

SpongeBob: I could do that blindfolded. [Patrick hands him a blindfold]

[cuts to blind SpongeBob. He hits a door. Feels around to identify it and slams the door]