The online video debuted in tangent with Teen Power Team, a TV spot that parodies Team America: World Police and crime-fighting dolls in general. (I dig how there's a token Spanish-speaker. Those saucy Canadians!)

Expect more where those came from. All ads, however random, conclude with the same tidy moral: must drink more milk.Dot com.

And you probably expect this by now, but I'll say it anyway: the website lets you UPLOAD VIDEOS and WIN STUFF.

Put together by Bent Images Labs for DDB Canada in Vancouver and Tribal DDB Canada (for the digital stuff).

Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books that pretty much let you decide whether you'd die two, or twenty, pages into the story? Visit Twix.com for a grown-man version of the game. You won't get to ride any unicorns, but if you're lucky, you might get to ride something else.

The adventure is called "Get the Girl." The protagonist convinces a girl to come home with him by inviting her over to blog about the media. (That gets me every time.) But there are obstacles! Mull your options over with Twix. (Helpful hint: at the very end, pick "Be honest." You'll dig what happens.)

Check out The Giant by agency Les Ouvriers du Paradis, possibly the most charming bathroom fairy tale ever. You don't have to speak French to infer why Lotus' Just 1 is the toilet paper of choice for mythically large men.

It's so absorbent, you'll only need one sheet! That's the kind of claim that titillates T.P. abusers like me. (I like to yank generously. It's a habit I'm trying to break.)

I want to argue the spot's more logical in the manner of its pitch than Charmin's squeeze-fetish Whipple spots, but that argument fell to pieces when the giant made with the elongated Lotus-fondling.

Nothing warms the heart like the sight of a kid schooling his parents on the importance of travel insurance.

Also see Did you have a nightmare?: "Dents are easy to fix, but liability's the nightmare! Ah, don't get up. I'll tuck myself in." I kinda want to hug him. Or buy him a graphing calculator.

You know what would be awesome? If this kid and the Umpqua lemonaire got together and built the ultimate risk-free lemonade stand, equipped with biodegradable paper cups (to appease the environmentalists) and curved corners for child safety.

Publicis & Hal Riney/SF is helping to reposition reinvigorate pickle company Vlasic and its 34-year-old stork icon. The stork's personality was modeled off Groucho Marx and appears in current TV ads* as a quirky friend of the family. Vlasic's tagline was also changed to "That's the tastiest crunch I ever heard."

If you've been following Adidas' "Impossible is Nothing" campaign for the Beijing Olympics, you're probably familiar with the format by now. Here's the final ad, featuring Feng Kun of the Chinese Volleyball Association and some disembodied eyes that are supposed to represent a Watchful Nation.

The pressure's on. I had that feeling at a spelling bee once. Unlike the CVA, I did not win my gold.

We did it to ourselves. Yes we did. With help from our much-loved DVRs. We started a war. A war between those who want to skip commercial and those who want people to see them no matter what technology exists to skip them. The latest in an increasing list of tactics comes from TBS which is running promotions during programming which involves pausing the show while an ad runs on the lower third of the screen. Right now, it's just station promos but, seriously, how long before we see paid advertising in this space? We did it to ourselves.

Some have pointed out the intrusive promotions are simply mirroring what's being promoted; the Bill Engvall show in a TV remote is a prominent plot element. Still. There's no doubt, after seeing this, every marketer will scream, "I want one!"

The height chart at left lends a practical, and sort of charming, picture of how needs change as the mortal coil unravels. (Nagging question: why is 5'9," "Mammogram Reminders," followed by 6'1," "Senior Fitness Programs"? I thought people shrink when they get old? Is Independence just that good?)

Tagline: "Just a few ways we're here for you every step of the way" -- a little clumsy, but it gets the idea across.