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dj_jennd

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Sun, Jun. 3rd, 2012, 04:41 pm

I watched Norwegian film Oslo, August 31st a couple of weeks back, and found myself constantly thinking of it after; about how it feels like to completely lose all hope.

It's about a recovering drug addict, Anders, who has been given a day off from rehab to go into the city of Oslo for a job interview. And he uses this opportunity to meet up with friends and family as well.

The film is about what happens in the head of Anders during the 24 hours - his struggle to find something to hold on to despite his supportive family, great friends, and the fact that he is an intellectual who has been published in journals prior to his addiction. His good background made this struggle even more compelling to watch, because it is harder to heal when there is no legitimate explanation as to why it all began.

I am normally not a fan of movies with tortured souls (especially ones that don't have a promising ending), but the actor Anders Danielsen Lie gives such a nuanced and subtle performance that you can't help care for him and feel his hopelessness and pain.

I've been trying to watch a tamil drama, Vettai, that was aired three times a week for five months, in three days. Hardly sleeping at night trying to see how the worst Special Ops team in TV history deals with three Indian gangs is keeping me thoroughly entertained. It's also very educational - I've been learning how to speak tamil - of course it's gangster speak. (I've learnt new ways of saying "Kill him" and "police officer"). Most importantly, I've learnt that there are so many ways to ask "Did Kavviar sleep with Rajboy?" - all of which are 5 sentences or longer.

But I saw that Nicolas Jaar had done a 2 hour long essential mix for BBC Radio 1 and told myself that I'll listen to it for 5 minutes and then get back to learning tamil gangster speak.

Ended up listening to the whole 2 hours because it was that good (there is an nsync bit as well!) In the beginning, there is an extract of a conversation with 1990s TV show Twin Peaks' music composer Angelo Bandalamenti, where he talks about coming up with the famous love theme song with creator David Lynch. Went to find the video on youtube and omg it's one of the best things ever when recalls the collaborative process. 2.45 onwards really makes my stomach do all kinds of flips.

Sat, Apr. 21st, 2012, 07:09 pm

So I've really been living it up this newfound post-fyp freedom. And by living it up I really mean getting drunk and partying till dawn. And by getting drunk and partying till dawn, I really mean getting drunk on good music and shaking my shoulders awkwardly and nodding my head in an attempt at 'jiving' to good music.

Trying to do as much as I can this week, reading all the books I can, and all the TV shows I can watch because come next week, I'm returning to my other life as a nursing student ie helping my mom out with her projects.

But I shan't complain - I do have to leave her alone for a month (or month and a half) for my Southeast Asian grad trip. I keep thinking about that night when she was so scared when I was out late and dad was working the night shift. How am I going to tell her that I'll be away for a month (or maybe more)? :(

Guilt aside, I'm so excited to wash my clothes in a river in Cambodia (let's just pretend this is going to happen), and having to pee in a bag just in case (I'm told that I have to practice), live with gibbons in a canopy-level treehouse in Laos, surf on the sand dunes in Vietnam, and party in Thailand, and all the 18-hour bus/train journeys to our destinations. In the meantime, I'll have to run/gym more regularly - slumming it up in SEA does require some stamina. And you know I do have to get that very elusive bigini body.

Anyway, I've been enjoying some really really great music as of late. And one of them is badbadnotgood (BBNG). (Youtube comments about them can be so confusing. Example: Bad bad not good is not bad at all. They're good!). Anyway they are a bunch of young people (19/20-ish) who give instrumental, contemporary jazz interpretations to hip hop music. Definitely not everyone's cup of tea but it really makes for a good sountrack while you're reading a book/stoning in a bus/lying on a bed staring at the wall. I can totally imagine this playing while I'm having my first adult party (not that kind of adult party) where I'm serving people wine, and we're all in cocktail dresses and we engage in hipster conversation about how tupac shouldn't be brought back via hologram for an entire tour, and how I knew The Weeknd before they appeared on TV (seriously, old Weeknd fans vs. new Weeknd fans hardcore fighting on youtube comments).

I think I spent a good 8 hours of my day reading the comments section on blogs, youtube videos, and reviews. I spent 4 hours one night reading different comments sections about the latest Mad Men episode (which was so good!!).

Thu, Mar. 29th, 2012, 11:08 pm

I'm talking to a friend right now - someone I don't catch up with very often. First got to know him almost 8 years ago. He wore those loud shirts, the bell bottom jeans with the fire prints. But who am I to judge - I used to wear soccer jerseys with the baggiest pair of pants I could find. Not sure what got into me - or him for that matter when he wanted to be 'friends with me'. I will never understand why I was relatively popular back then - must be the braces. But anyway, we stopped talking for a while but every yeathere's always a certain period of time during the year where we'll just reconnect and we'd be talking to each other everyday be it on the phone, texting or on Facebook.

He was always pleasantly surprised when each time I talk to him I'd be one stage closer to what he called 'success'. Doing well(ish) for O's to get into a JC, and then getting good enough results for A's too get into a local university, and then the internship at TNP, and now I'm about to graduate.

He, on the other hand, always seemed a bit lost. He would be working one job one day and then quitting the next day, going to school studying one course, and then dropping out the next month. And he'd always say "You're going to have a good future Jenn." And I'll be like you know 'awww shucks'.

I don't know if it's self-pity/lack of confidence but I've always kind of assumed that not many people think I was smart - but he genuinely did. Even I don't think I am. I keep thinking people expect me to screw up - and I somehow always do. I have to admit that I do let him give me much more credit that I deserve. When I got one of my first bylines at TNP for the Zee Awards that I helped cover, he messaged me to tell me he cut the article out and that he's proud. Even if it was an article that I only got an "additional reporting" byline for. Of course, I don't know if he did - probably not. But you know it's nice to hear that. I don't receive many compliments so I'm sure as hell going to believe it when I hear it.

Anyway now he finally graduated this week with a diploma from a course he committed to and he says he wants to sign on with SPF where the starting pay will be about $4k?

And then he asked me: "What are you going to do Jenn?" I answer: "I am not quite sure - I haven't started looking."

He tells about his girlfriend's plans - how he wants her to join CNB because with just a degree in Psych, you can't practice. So she wants to save up for her Master's in a few years. She needs to do her master's to save up for marriage and a house - with only a degree they can't afford much.

And all of a sudden he's telling me about running a family and studying at the same time. And he's talking to me about a big enough house for their kids?

He tells me: "I hate growing up Jenn. We didn't need to worry about all this."

I guess I was taken aback because at what point did this guy who used to wear fire-printed jeans grow up? At which point did I stop? Because these worries that he's referring to - I can't even imagine having them. When did his future look so bright and mine look so uncertain.

My biggest worries right now are what I'm going to wear to school tomorrow, whether I'll be motivated enough to finish Hedwig's homework, and what colour I'll paint my nails.

I just don't understand -at which point did the tables turn and I now have to tell him: "Either way, you're going to have a good future."

I just wish my sisters were here - so that there wouldn't be a need for this blog post. I think they'd be the only ones who would listen to my incoherent ramblings without judging me - and then offer to bring me cookies from the kitchen. (First time the cookies have lasted more than 3 days btw - I wonder why).

There must be something wrong with today because I normally wouldn't like music where the singer kinda just wails into the microphone and pretend it's normal (even I have my limits). And I guess maybe wailing is too strong a word.

But maybe it's because he is an Asian American (could be mixed - there's not enough info yet) and his name is Dustin. How could you not want to pay attention to an Asian American named Dustin?

And then, there are his super sick guitar playing skills AND he is extremely deft at looping them using the loop pedals, which I kind of miss.

It's may also be because he has a thing about dreams - something that always intrigues me. He actually requests for people to record their dreams (voice recording style) and he makes them into these spacey/dreamgaze (no pun intended hurhur) tracks. How freaking cool is that. AND these random people's dream songs actually sound great. They could be legit tracks. I can't imagine a dream of mine actually being made into a track like that. I hope I have an exciting dream soon - I may actually consider recording myself talking about my dream and sending it over. And when it comes back to me all fancy and decorated, I will actually have a legit right to say that I've been feature in someone's song. It's one step closer to filling out 'musician' in the occupation part of those inane forms you have to fill up at least once a week to get something free.

Anyway these dream songs are available here: http://soundcloud.com/dustin-wong

I think I have found the love of my life. Hope he's not too famous yet k - I call dibs.

Sat, Mar. 10th, 2012, 08:58 pm

I made a fumbling play for your heart, and the act struck a spark.

Contrary to popular belief, I actually don't mind that I'm that 'forever alone' girl. But when I hear songs with lyrics like the above, I'm like awww I totally I wish I had a boyfriend so that I can quote lyrics like this on a beautiful handmade card (it always looks great in my head) for his birthday/anniversary/v-day.

And when I eventually break up, I can rely on books like High Fidelity to get me through it because it's so sad/funny and so relatable. And then I can go quote the quotable quotes on my blog/facebook/twitter.

An example:

Unhappiness really meant something back then. Now it's just a drag like a cold or having no money. If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have gotten to me early.

I remember hearing this ten second piano piece when I saw Joel's short film that he made for school like 2 years ago. I asked him where the piece was from but he said he couldn't recall. But I would watch it countless times after just to be able to hear this mystery piece. And then last year I heard it again - but on another local short film I caught on OKTO. Armed with soundhound, I thought I could FINALLY know for sure where this score came from. But by the time I ran (really it was a brisk walk) to my room and back to the living room and clumsily tried to look for the app, the music had stopped playing. It was as though I narrowly missed out on meeting the love of my life for the first time on the elevator because I chose to buy a fruit (really, it would be an ice-cream) that led me to riding the elevator with three annoying kids pressing all the buttons. Point is I was so desperate to find out where the tune came from that I hummed into the Soundhound app just about a million times in all sorts of pitches and keys. But it kept giving me irrelavant results like Rihanna's Shut Up and Drive and an unknown (to me) Enrique Iglesias song... So I eventually gave up - my sisters weren't too fond of me singing to my iPhone. But long-term fate finally happened. I was watching a brilliant episode of Community (I'm taking a break from FYP guys...), and I FINALLY HEARD THE SONG AGAIN. Hearing the first piano note and I was like 'omg omg this is it, this is the moment I finally know what the song is called and jeff winger why are you so hot and abed why are you so funny'. Went to wikipedia the episode, and FINALLY FOUND OUT WHAT THE SONG IS CALLED. Those moments when I copied and pasted and then copied again and pasted again in the youtube search bar (because I was too excited to copy it properly the first time) are probably one of the greatest in my life. I need a life. Anyway, I present you... Erik Satie's Gymnopedie. No.1.