Why We Feel Resentment – And What To Do About It

There are many times in our lives when we feel resentment. We resent co-workers, family member, boyfriends, girlfriends - the list goes on. So, why do we resent?

Basically, resentment shows up to let us know we are giving too much of ourselves, while getting very little in return. The scale is unbalanced and we are running on empty. Think of yourself as a big and beautiful chalice, like one you’d see in a Harry Potter film or like the picture used to represent The Ace of Cups in a Tarot Deck. Imagine this goblet filled with so much wonderful stuff that it’s overflowing.

Remember, you’re the chalice and all that “overflow” is what you give others. It’s your love, your support, your caring, your kindness, and your generosity. You have all this stuff to give so when someone asks for help or suggestions, you don’t mind – even if they don’t take it your advice. It’s okay; you have all this overflow to give.

There are times when we have no overflow. We barely have enough “stuff” for ourselves; however, people still ask and, being the loving caring people that we are, we let them take what we have left – call it our reserve, our private stock, our sacred stuff, they take it.

Now when someone asks for help or suggestions, and they don’t take your advice, it’s not okay! Anger turns to resentment. Resentment is the trigger that let’s you know to stop giving away so much and start taking care of yourself.

So, can we get back to that place of overflow? Yes! Here are five suggestions to help you feel full again. You can do them all, or just one - whichever makes you feel comfortable.

Nature: Sit in nature for 20 minutes once a week. Be it by the sea, in the woods, in a field, or the desert, it doesn’t matter. But once there, listen to the silence and be at peace. No cell phones, no thinking about grocery lists, no thinking – just listen to the inner silence.

Children: The unconditional love and laughter of babies and small children can be infectious. Being around them can lift your spirit and fill your heart.

Animals and Pets: Animals give us their unconditional love. While it may be hard to take the fish out on little leashes for a walk, find time to play with animals and pets. Let them bring out your inner child.

Silence of The Heart: Perhaps the simplest and easiest of all – sit quietly, place your hand over your heart and listen to the silence. Feel your heartbeat. Experience each breath. Relax. Slow down. Many times when people pray they hold their hands together and lean their thumbs on their chest. There is a reason for this. It makes us feel safe. Placing your hand over your heart completes “the circuit” and makes us feel whole.

So, the next time you feel resentment setting in – replenish your “overflow.” It’s as simple as stop, look, listen and be kind to yourself.