This song is somewhat difficult due to the fast chord changes at the end of each verse and chorus.
The chords are from the man himself though the B7 sounds a little off to me during the verses.
You can experiment with different voicings to find what works for you.
The lyrics are from http://www.sycamoresmith.com/lyrics/censored.html so they're pretty official.
I tried to get the timing right but the song is pretty fast-paced.
Also: This song is not exactly what I'd call child friendly. You have been warned.
Without further ado:
THE CENSORED SAILOR
by Sycamore Smith
STANDARD TUNING
NO CAPO
INTRO: GFE / FGF / GFGC - / CEB7
I caught a spot of rabies last Fall
E
While I was roaming through the South-
B7
It was raining cats & dogs and every cat and dog
EB7
was foaming at the mouth...
EB7
I met a wild-eyed spinster on the back of a bus
E
She asked if there was any part of her I'd like to touch
B7
When I told her "Yer nuts!" she got mad at me
EE7CB7
And lectured on female anatomy...
------
CHORUS:
AD
I got a tight white sailor's suit on
GA
I got some business with you on the futon
FG
If you got the time, honey, I got the moolah
AmAm7FE
I'm not Mr Right, but I am Mr Two Wrongs...
AD
Cardinals with fuchsia feathers
GA
Grip their flies and flap together
FG
Here comes a bird with a ball on a tether
AmEAmE
Followed by another and another and another
AmEAm ... E
And the rest of this adventure is CENSORED
------
B7
Flanagan went a full year without bathing
E
And he reeked like a Hell-born beast
He used to slick his hair back every day
B7EB7
With a bear claw and elbow grease
E
So I told him "You'll be showered with candy and treats
B7
If you can knock a piñata off the branch of a tree"
E
But what I showed him was not a pinata, no,
B7EE7CB7
'Twas a beehive, actually...
A7B7E
Thus he was chased by the bees,
A7B7E
They followed him down to the creek
A7B7
He jumped in the water-
E
The upshot's he got his
A7B7EE7CB7
First bath in fifty-two weeks
Middle Kazoo Part:
AD / GA / FG / AmAm7FEAD / GA / FG / AmE / AmE / AmE / AmE
------
B7
If yer a wealthy old codger then y'better not lodge here
E
At the Amputated Arms Hotel, pop-
B7
The man behind the counter, though a brute & a bounder
EB7E
Is a milk-sop next to the bell-hop
B7
Who'd rather turn you inside oot & backwards
E
Than pamper you, you highfalutin bastard-
B7
Ask him for a hand with your bag
EB7EE7CB7
And you are gonna catch a boot in yer sack, sir!
------
CHORUS:
AD
I got a tight white sailor's suit on
GA
I got some business with you on the futon
FG
If you got the time, honey, I got the moolah
AmAm7FE
I'm not Mr Right, but I am Mr Two Wrongs...
AD
Cardinals with fuchsia feathers
GA
Grip their flies and flap together
FG
Here comes a bird with a ball on a tether
AmEAmE
Followed by another and another and another
AmEAm ... E
And the rest of this adventure is CENSORED
OUTRO: GFE / FGF / GFGC - / CE