John Pilgrim: People never fail to amuse

Published:06:36Saturday 18 August 2012

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Human beings never fail to amuse me, make me sad or just plain amaze me. I met up with a couple who managed to achieve all three.

It appears that they went on a holiday abroad recently but when I asked how they got on they stated that they had hated it. I then asked where they had gone and was informed that Pompeii had been their destination.

I hesitated before I asked why they hadn’t enjoyed it and received the answer I was dreading. “We thought that we were going to see how those people lived in those tiny houses and all that but it turned out to be pile of rubble,” I was informed.

It took just a moment to sink in that they weren’t joking and so I suggested that they should try the Coliseum next year but to make sure they got seats at the front because you couldn’t see much from the back!

They cross the road when they see me coming now and I can’t say that I’m sorry.

Since my accident when I fell out of bed I have purchased a brand new one along with a new mattress and spent a sweaty afternoon trying to put the thing together.

The dog got to try the thing out before I did and I’m pleased to say that her first effort failed abysmally. I had quite forgotten that the new bed had a proper top and bottom and Gemm’ failed to notice the new hurdle in her haste to be the first in. I made the same mistake the following morning when I tried to sit down to put my socks on! (smug looks from the spaniel).