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This ear is the bane of my existence. My face is swelled on one side. My node under my ear is swelled. My jaw hurts as well as my eye socket and my eye and my jaw keeps trying to lock on me. No fever though. oh lucky me. Only have taken the z pack, the drops and now took the third dose of Keflex at 3:30. I so hope I get some relief by tomorrow. Took an anti-inflamatory a bit ago but no relief. tried to do some ear drops but my canal is swelled shut so that leaves the heating pad. I tried to hint to my son I was to sick to cook hoping he would bring me something tonight but I have to cook. To bad diabetics have to eat or get cramps from Metformin. I don't want to cook much less eat.
Sugar-94 right now before dinner. Tonight taking Metformin 2 hours before bed. Will see how it goes in the morning.

Drop a wooden bird feeder on your neuropathy affected toes. I think my brain popped out of my head. I hope I never do that again. Mercy it was so bad. Instantly made a small blood mark where the tip hit I guess. UGH
My decision last night paid off but due to the fact I did take the pickle juice and took the metformin 2 hours after dinner I am not sure which made my sugar lower this morning. My calves still hurt all night but no cramps or spasms which the pickle juice is supposed to stop. As for taking the metformin later I only woke up once during the night to go pee and usually I wake up at least 4 times if not more. I am sure this is due to my sugar rising all night and my kidneys trying to get rid of it.
Meter said 79 this morning. I did not take that to heart though because I did a control solution first and also used my other meter which was higher so I have settled on 94. I did notice though that my sugar rose slightly 1 and 2 hours after breakfast and at the three hour mark settled at around 103. Usually my 1 and 2 hour after breakfast shows a consistent drop but not today. However I would rather it go up during the day so I can correct it than while I'm asleep. How pickle juice can help control blood sugars is beyond me. Hopefully, with all the stuff I try and advice I give on herbs and oils, they never bring back the witch hunts because I would be the first one burned at the stake. hahahahahaha
Goodnight Blog.

I have researched the Dawn and 50% of type 1 and 2 diabetics suffer from it. Many worse than others. For most diabetics their BG's go up after eating and fall within the 2 hour mark. Though non-diabetics have it as well their system takes care of it but mine does not. This morning my BG's were 128 for the fasting read. I decided to take it again 15 mins. after breakfast and it was 131---15 more minutes (1/2 hr.) it was 121- another 15 minutes it was 116 and then at the hour mark it was 102. That being a 26 point drop in one hour after breakfast. Now three hours later it has settled down to 98. I am sure it will be the same within 5 points throughout the day until when I go to bed. I have read much and starting tonight will start to try different things. I am aware how this will Dawn will affect my A1C and because I have no clue when the sugar starts to go up during the night I don't know how high it does go up and how long it stays up. Time to work on it though so off we go. I will start with the pickle juice before bed.
Try each suggestion for 1 week:
Take 2 TBS. pickle juice before bed
Take the second Metformin before bed with a small protein or nut snack
Have a bowl of nuts on the nightstand to eat when I wake up in the middle of the night
Exercise 2 hours before bed
Have dinner by 6 p.m. and one snack afterward 2 hours before bed.
Have a small snack of LC, protein and fat 1 hour before bed.

Almost time for another CT/MRI on my pancreas tail. I know the tumor continues to grow but in the islet cells of the tail it grows slower. Last year it had doubled in size from 7 years before when it was first found. They tried doing a biopsy but could only get to the margins which were clear. They prefer not to take it out even though it's 1/3 of the tail because it's still benign and it's a massive operation which my health is not really strong enough for. I used to blame my diabetes on the tumor but if that were the case I know this HFLC eating would not be consistently bringing the numbers down. Just one of the things I have blamed for my current condition. I am finally just coming around to accepting the neuropathy and living a day at a time unless I am in some massive pain and then I am taking it one minute at a time. Life goes on and so do we unless we check out so why worry.
Monday I am going to the Podiatrist for my diabetic foot check and Tuesday to the ENT. Thursday going for the Biotic shoe inserts. I hope I can adjust to them really fast. Like 5 minutes. lol Just keep on keepin' on.
"one day I will soar like the wings of eagles, home to my Lord and the place He is preparing for me."

Still doing good except for the ear. Made an apt. with the ENT but could not get in until next week. This stresses me out because of the head and neck cancer I already survived. Now an earache for almost 20 days? It makes me nervous. Sleeping still is not going well with the legs. Once I wake up in 2 hours or so I then hurt so much I drift in and out of sleep the rest of the night and stay tired all day. You just can't win them all. I opened a can of Gold Star chili and dumped half a cup on a bowl of shredded lettuce and motz. cheese. I know it sounds gross but it was not really to bad plus it was quick. Sitting here now waiting for the Met to absorb so I can take my Gerd medicine. In other words waiting for heartburn. LOL Onward and forward.

It's a beautiful day today. Church was good, the singing was awesome. The dinner afterward was excellent. I wore the leather ankle boots I bought last week and my feet never swelled at all. I even walked down and back up a flight of stairs and didn't limp on the way to the car. I am thinking it may be the extra support of the boot. The ankle brace makes my foot hurt worse and leaves small bruises in a few places so I believe I am sticking with the boot. Tried my knee boots but I knew for sure I couldn't do stairs in those even thought they have no heel on them. The only exception was the two toes on the left foot which hurt a lot when walking and I keep forgetting to ask the doc about them but I will when I go for my diabetic foot exam at the Podiatrist Tuesday. I am also requesting the diabetic shoes. May as well. He offered them to me 4 years ago and I said no but now I'm having second thoughts.
Getting a tremor now in the index finger of my left hand. Once it starts to shake it just goes on for an hour or more and then it stops. At least it's not in the right hand so I am blessed in many ways. Not much sleep again even with 1 1/2 Xanax. I still woke up in 2 hours with leg pain. Once it starts then even if I do get a few hours of sleep it's light and restless. I always feel tired and drained but at least I still feel something. God is good all the time.

A bit of a delay but got around to looking up my lab results and was relatively pleased to see my A1C at 5.7 after a 6.0 reading just 30 days ago, meaning that I may be trending in the right direction, modulo margins of error, last-30-days-weights-for-A1C, etc.
Liver numbers are good, cholesterol is good, and my albumin/creatinine ratio is back to normal.
Update of my boilerplate:
[
earlier
] had some mild but clear symptoms for a few months, did some exercise, symptoms went away; but was worried enough to see a doctor given what I had read online about diabetes; diet up until this point was LOADED with carbs (200+ grams of carbs per sitting quite common) and close to 100% restaurant, fast food, and all-you-can-eat catered food and snacks. DX'd with Metabolic Syndrome ages ago, but no symptoms, didn't pay attention or make changes. BAD MOVE. Last FBG on record was 83 on 2012.09.17.
2015.05.28 DX'd A1C at 13.2, FBG at 194 - The Wake Up Call !!
2015.06.08 [11 days after DX] FBG mostly in 80s, all below 100
2015.06.27 [~1 months after DX] A1C at 9.8 & FBG at 88
2015.08.28 [~3 months after DX] A1C at 6.0 & FBG at 87
2015.09.28 [~4 months after DX] A1C at 5.7 & FBG at 95
Diet
: low-to-moderate carbs; eat a ton; love my fats, especially given my love of hard boiled
eggs, all kinds of cheeses, nuts and meat; though I get a lot of veggies in too;
much more mindful of overeating and also try to only eat when hungry;
not strictly following any given LCHF, Paleo, Atkins, or Diet X, but learning from all of them
and trying to figure out what works best for me over time
Exercise
: daily mild, but deliberate walking, or 80-100,000 steps per week on average, very light
strength training, occasional but well beyond recreational tennis; intimately
familiar with HIIT and various exercise (yes please) vs. training (no way) routines, but not going down that path
for now
Medication
: have never taken any medication for diabetes or non-diabetes; I realize this may
change significantly over time
Weight
: as of 2015.09.28 roughly at 190 pounds, down from an all time high of ~245 around 8/2013;
this is technically the lightest I've been in since at least March 7, 2005 (the earliest
records I have) - as a 6' male, given my activity level, athletic exposure, and genetics, need
to figure out a reasonable steady state given my muscle mass, sustainability, and age
Speaking about sustainability, it's way too early for me to tell. Ongoing homework, understanding,
measuring, corrections, experiments, etc., especially given the progressive nature of this disease.

Foot tremors, and cramps, muscle spasms and pain. Got maybe 2 hours sleep. Cant lay down to nap because laying down hurts the legs and sitting in the recliner hurts the feet. I need a break. Ear on fire so the z pack did nothing and I have to call my ENT Monday and make yet another appointment with yet another doctor. Important though since I did have head and neck cancer. This has been going on to long over 2 weeks so it's time. Oh yes to get a checkup.
Oh well. I did make me some 3 carb gravy for my egg and bacon this morning with 1 tsp. reg. flour and 1/4 cup of sf almond milk. It was yummy. Reminded me of momma and biscuits. LOL I need to look for almond flour at the store today if I can get up enough energy and stamina to get my pajamas off and walk half an hour. UGH. Some days are UGHS.
"Lift thine eyes to the hills from whence cometh thy help"

Though I enjoyed my one hour shopping day yesterday today is payday. Hard night. Hard morning. Knees crushed, toes and ankles broken and pain in between. Though I do like that old movie it's not always a wonderful life. I am off now to "enjoy" the day ahead in my recliner. (Sic)

Went to that BIO place today. Seems there is a problem with the Metatarsal bones in the right foot. When she rubbed underneath the foot I felt the pain on top of the foot. Also the arch has fallen and stretching th skin so tight it's causing swelling, redness and pain plus strain on the ankle bone. All sensations are now gone on the sole of the right foot but it is still not numb so I did a happy dance on that info. The left arch has only slightly fallen so they are making my insoles. $250.00 with a lifetime guarantee and I can make payments monthly so I accepted since Medicare nor my private health care will not pay for them. Not much choice really. I am so hoping it works but trying not to get my hopes up to high yet. We shall see. Come back in two weeks and bring your shoes. No more sandals for me but since I have to wear socks all the time it's no big deal.
Foot hurts right now but I do see something brighter in the future. I am going to remain positive even if I feel like screaming and getting a chainsaw. I have hope.

The day after PT. Always painful. Always sucks the whole day into tomorrow. Of course I had cramps and spasms in my feet and left leg all night so I am tired.
Pastor Danny is having 6 hour cancer surgery today. Children are being starved and abused. Many are starving all over the world. People are suffering from terrible diseases and medical treatment. People are weeping. Old people are being neglected. How much pain is out there? Far worse than mine I know. I have seen it with my own eyes and heard it. Let me count the ways. Today my prayers are not for me but for them. Today my heart weeps for them. Tomorrow my pain will be a little less but theirs may be the same or worse.
I am first and foremost a prayer warrior for the found and the lost of this temporary fading planet. Second I am a prayer warrior for the hurting. I will stand until I can't stand and if I cry I know my Lord Jesus catches those tears and gives me hope for a better thing to come. Today I have to fight the urge to quit. Today I will fight to win again.... and tomorrow and the day after........and forever

Well got a workout at PT this morning. Foot was swelled around the ankle like a fat sausage roll and it hurt a lot oh yes. I have 9 more to go. I ask Jessica just exactly how this was going to affect my neuropathy and the pain of it and she said "none." I think I went into some state of shock at that moment. Why am I here then? "To strengthen the muscles and tendons in your legs because they are hard and tight with knots and adhesions. You will still have the neuropathy pain because nothing we can do for you will help it but your muscles will be more flexible and you will be able to balance and walk better." I guess it beats a blank. I guess my hopes were way to high. So there will never be another pain free day. How sad is that. I know I need to get into one of those riding carts at the store but when I do I am sure I will cry the first time. Kinda like giving up a smidge at a time. It makes me wonder how many smidges I have to go.
That's all good and well what she said but I felt like crying and this ear pain didn't help anything. So after all of the hour I came home unhappy and whipped. I am so thankful I am getting my BG's in control. I know at least I will be able to walk longer and the future will not look as bleak even with the pain. I won't be in a chair. Embrace the pain Barbara. My new mantra is ohh. Ohh ohh ohh ohh while seeing the beach and hearing the waves in my meditation I told the PT. She likely believes I am nuts but I am really only hanging on by a thread trying to keep the depression at bay. I cannot allow myself to get depressed. No not !

ear! Seems like this ear infection hurts more not using the drops even though the doctor said the drops are useless take the pills. Now I am afraid to mix two different antibiotics so we will see. My legs are doing pretty good of course so is my rear end which has sat in a chair most of the day. I'm surprised it's not numb. The weird feeling in my left leg is gone today but two of my toes hurt. This whole neuropathy thing drives me crazy sometimes. Last night at the new study at church being upstairs, ugh, I never though I was going to get back down the stairs. It was much worse than getting up to the top. Ski walks backwards down the steps in front of me and every time I make a sound or grit my teeth he jumps like I am going to fall. That even made me more uneasy about my balance. It was kind but annoying. Next week I am going down last.
Had a cheese egg omelet for breakfast. Once I am really into the LC I never get hungry and eating and cooking is such a chore. I'd just as soon fast for life. Picked around on lunch meat and nuts for lunch. I know I have to make something for dinner but not a thing appeals to me and my face being swelled on one side and my ear and jaw hurting doesn't help much. Neither did waking up before 5 a.m. Maybe I will try and nap after Jon picks up the babe after school. Me nap. That is the joke of the year. Remembering my black butterfly. Makes me smile.

Busy today. Went to Sunday school then to church then to urgent care ,the pharmacy, to Wendys then to a friends then back home then to church again and now I am home. I am tired to say the least. Sugar was 125 this morning and 99 tonight. Didn't eat much and now I am hungry but I know how bad the Dawn is if I eat within an hour of going to bed. The ear ache appears not to be an ear canal infection but a inner ear infections that is also affecting the jaw and causing one side of my face to swell. Seems all those antibiotic ear drops were for nothing and now I am on a ZPack. Hopefully I will see results quickly.
Quite weird my leg. The left leg not the right which they are treating more aggressively because of the swelling and pain in the top of the foot and the ankle. Nope. It's now the left calf. It feels weird. Not tingly or painful just odd. It feels kind of numb but it's not numb because I know it's there. When I lightly run my fingers over the skin it feels like maybe an electric current under the skin. I hate the pain but the numb scares the crap out of me. Numb means no feeling and that means no walking and that means a chair and that means an assisted living home. I do not like numb. Not!
Maybe it was caused by sitting a lot today walking to much or not doing my PT exercises. I am hope tomorrow the pain is back. Hoping for pain now aint that a rip.

Having a fairy decent day for a change. I am doing little however because I don't want to "rock the boat." I have to do the stationary bike soon and I am kind of ignoring it. Got my order for raw, organic Shea butter in the mail yesterday. This brand is soft enough to get out a small blob instead of trying to dig it out with a spoon. Nice smells too. I rubbed down my feet and ankles with a nickel sized gob before bed last night and this morning I see a 75% improvement in my dry skin especially on top of my foot. Today made the whipped with just the Shea, organic coconut oil and 2 caplets of Vit. E. and put them into 2 tins. One is for my friend who has flakey skin on her legs and she uses my cream to get rid of it in one of two applications. So I am feeling good about that.
My pain level right now is under a 4 and my blood sugar is under 100. So hoping they legalize cannabis here as my doctor said only a tiny amount would give me 24 hrs. of no pain. I can't even imagine it. A day without pain. I don't even remember how that feels. I used too years ago but now it's a dimmer and dimmer memory. The government would rather me be addicted to pain I guess. Of course I would not need any today because today it's not as bad as some days. On those days I would prefer and chain saw just to get rid of my legs from the knees down. I would love to go to the grocery for an hour and not limp out or maybe go shopping with my friend and afterward have lunch like we used too but now she goes by herself because I just can't stand the pain.
This is my life though so today is a good day. My knees hurt some but my ankle does not thank goodness and I don't even have the brace on it. Go me! So off to look for foodies for lunch. Me thinks a tossed salad with turkey, ham and cheese and a nice cup of tea. Then the dreaded bike. Then the dreaded ankle pain. Then who knows. Maybe it won't last all night. I am not going that far with my thoughts at the moment. Tomorrow is church. I hope my feet do not freeze into ice cubes or burn in the furnace. We shall see. We shall.

Doc L wants me in PT for another 5 weeks twice a week. He x-rayed the ankle and said it looked okay but if I really wanted an MRI he would order one and I denied. When I go back in 6 weeks if it's still the same then yes I will get it. Now in a soft ankle brace to help me balance. He wrote me a prescription for 20 LorTabs which is now a level 2 narcotic for cripes sake. It's half Tylenol. They had to contact the FDA before they could even write me a script for 20!!! I only take a half of one when I want to cut my leg off with a chain saw so the 20 will most likely last the rest of the year because they make me so nauseated. Then the druggist tried to treat me like I was either an addict or a street dealer. I told him if I wanted to be addicted to something I'd start drinking Jack Daniels again or maybe Salty Dogs. LOL
Then went to urgent care for my ear, waited an hour and she said it would be over another hour before I got in so I left. Called the place the doc wanted me to go to have custom innersoles made because of my feet and they said Medicare does not accept them as a medical necessity. It's been quite a delightful day that's for sure. So if I was not the good girl that I am I would eat a brownie....and a cookie......and a hot fudge sundae. But I won't. So there stupid diabetes!
" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

I think that PT guy was too rough on me yesterday. My hamstring up the inside of my left leg has bruises on it and my back hurts from center down. . Did not even enjoy my shopping trip today because the pain was just never ending. I almost cried in the store for cripes sake. I did call my best friend when I got home and when she answered all I did was start crying. Nothing new since I cried all day yesterday and cried at Bible study last night. On a 1-10 today I would be a 9. Still standing but barely walking without limping. Up most of the night with spasms in both legs and feet and that hasn't happened for a long time. Then the dog has a seizure in the middle of the night so I had to get up and take her outside in the dark because that is the only thing that calms her down.
Back to the doc early in the morning. I am demanding an MRI and my insurance pays for it so what the heck is his problem. Is he paying for it? I think not! My Lortab expired in 2013 and my regular doctor will not renew it (the 90 it took me 2 years to take) because he says it will not help the pain plus it's a narcotic. Uh let me see 90 pills in 2 years does not a dope addict make. So he gives me more Xanax. 90 with a refill. Is that not an addictive drug also? DUH! I am NOT going to take Gabapentin and that is that! Today I could just sit down and never get up again. Like when I sit down it goes away. Not hardly. Lay down is a whole other story as it get 10 times worse when I lay down. Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh . I am having a pity party for myself. I frankly do not care. Diabetes sucks, nerve damage sucks, pt sucks, doctors suck everything sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PT was quite painful today. The lady next to me ask my name and said she was going to pray for me. The PT said you better start now because trust me she is going to need it. I cried. That pretty much says it all. There is nothing left to add. Blood sugar is good. HFLC is good. Ear still hurts so I am going to Urgent Care Friday. Gerd is gone. On with life.
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

Washed dishes. Took the dog out. Made a salad and cooked breakfast. That is my whole day. Trying to find a ENT close by because my ear is on fire inside despite the fact I have been using antibiotic drops for a week now. May just go to urgent care Friday afternoon since I still have a doctor apt. + a PT appointment this week. My sugar is in really good control. Not as low as it could be perhaps but it's a learning process and I have managed to cut my Metformin in half and still keep the BG's in the 80's to 90's most of the day.. Fasting is looking better also less than 120 instead of in the 160's. Onward and forward. This blog post is boring me and I am the one writing it. So ta,ta, bye,bye, see you later alligator.

Blah. Blah day. Cloudy outside and cloudy inside. Gerd is giving me a sore throat and it has given me a earache. Antibiotics for the ear have prednisone in them so it is giving me edema. Well lets have a party! To celebrate I believe I shall begin with taking my Previcid and stopping all herbal teas and lower my fat. Mostly I eat bacon fat. I think maybe between that and coffee I need to add one at a time for a few days to catch the one that is giving me fits.
. This morning a new low. 103 even with having the Dawn for overnight company. My 30 day average on my meter has gone from 167 to 123. I am stoked! PT is helping so much to lower my pain in the legs except for the right foot and ankle which is a beast! Feet still getting hot and then frozen and socks feel weird but I am getting some diabetic ones at the store tomorrow and also some popcorn seasoning to put into my flax cracker recipe.
Each time I look at your face and am blessed with one of your "I love you Grammy" I will fight the fight to the end.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Okay so it's a song. I used to do exercise for an hour to that song on Richard Simmons dancing with the oldies. LOL Checked my sugar after church and it was 92! My body accepted it too not once trying to tell me it was too low and I was going to faint and die. I see this as progress. Oh yes. I see it as big progress since I have cut my Metformin fro 2/1000 a day to 2/500. First I just cut the morning one to 500 because after breakfast my sugars are good but the night ones hover around 105-115 so I still took the full 1000. I need to watch close though because if it starts creeping back up I will need to up one of them again. The evening one no doubt.
I want to eat an apple so bad. The apple farm is open now and last year I got a whole peck of MacIntosh and ate most of them myself. Unfortunately they raise my sugar to 180. I tried with peanut butter, with cheese and even with a slice of turkey but no my sugar goes up and stays up. I have to keep reminding myself I like my feet. I love my feet. They burn sometimes. I love them. They freeze solid when I walk sometimes. I love them. They swell. They hurt so bad I wake up in the middle of the night. I love them though and when I look down they are still there.
I praise You God in the good and bad of life. Keep me strong and humble and in my sins grant me grace and mercy. I know that wherever I am there You are.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Hahahahahaha As I read that it just made me start laughing out loud. Yesterday after the PT worked the knots out of the hamstrings on my right leg I told my son it had been so long there was not pain in my calf I felt like I was walking on a foot joined to a knee. hahahahahahaha he raised his one eyebrow as usual. My arthritic knees do hurt today. My ankles and feet hurt from the neuropathy. It's my life. Most likely forever. Forever, Forever, Forever is a long time. Kinda depressed right now thinking about forever and laughing about pain. Maybe I am losing my mind. What I have left of it. Sometimes pain on a 24 hour basis can do that to you. Even narcotics only work for a few hours and I'd rather be addicted to pain that medication. I can't remember anymore the days I had no pain. So many years ago. I need to remind myself that I am still up, hanging to the rafters and living another day to enjoy my God and family and friends. I am rich and blessed no matter what my situation is. Plus I have fat bombs. hahahahahahahahahahahaha Okay Barbara get on with it.....

PT: today for an hour. Seems as if I have knots under the front of my ankle bone and up the hamstring muscles. She did a deep massage. Lets just say the party was over before it even started. ugh Next week if the knots are still there they will do the dry needles into each knot. She says anyway. The guy Chris may not. It's a catch 22 either way.
Part 2: Waiting in the lobby was a heavy woman in a wheelchair. The front half of her foot had been amputated and she had metal pins (4 of them) sticking out of both sides of her legs about 6" and 4" above the ankle. She proceeds to tell me a few years ago she had broken a bone in her foot but because of having no feeling due to her diabetic neuropathy she never felt it so she never told her doctor. Well in due time the bone came right out of the skin so she had to have amputation, have pins inserted, move into assisted living and have PT basically forever.
Shock: The lady then reaches into her pocket and pulls out two giant Kit Kat bars and proceeds to eat them in less than 5 minutes. I almost passed out in shock! I can still she her cramming those chocolate bars like there was a party and she was the guest of honor. I can say one thing for sure and that is no candy bar, slice of bread, handful of fries, bowl of ice cream or anything else I used to eat on a daily basis will never cross my lips again! Her condition is forever imprinted on my mind. TWO candy bars. Unbelievable!