Good god! There was so much science in that article my brain almost exploded. On an interesting side note, my family was killed by jellyfish, and I have sworn a vendetta. The bastards...oh, the bastards...

by jove, this really is one of your better pieces.
and as for jellyfish,
they would make awesome pets if only someone sold thm.
like seamonkeys, except cooler,
because you can put lil strobe lights into the tanks,
and play some heavy techno and have a rave.

I also firmly believe that jellyfish will one day walk among us, but do not despair, comrades! By the time they are able to to get up onto land, I will be living on the moon, drinking juice boxes every day for the rest of my life. Meanwhile, I will look down on you and laugh at the horrible jellyfish death delivered to you!!!

I recall collecting jellyfish corpses on the beach and placing them on the chairs of my classmates. Everyone had jellyass! But I forgot to omit my chair from the jelly-ing. I didn't get caught, though.