Stay current as a parent, but don’t act like a teen

To let my kids tell it, when it comes to measuring moms on a Sliding Scale of Hipness, their Mama ranks pretty close to the top.

No other adult they know, for example, is a journalist who gets paid to chat up some of the performers they’ve seen on TV and allows them occasional access to a quick meet-and-greet or live show when they make it to town. And when Darius had his first school dance back in the eighth grade, who made sure he was head-to-toe fresh and able to work some fly moves into his social repertoire?

Mom, that’s who.

It’s taken trial and error, along with common sense, to know where to draw that line between being in the mix and getting mixed up about what’s acceptable behavior for parents when incorporating trends from the younger set.

Updating appearances is good, and staying abreast of what’s current is even better, but when folks disregard the obvious by pretending to be 20 with they’re 40-plus, it’s never a good look.

Recent case in point: Madonna. At 54, the pop icon is in better shape than most women half her age. And yes, she may have had a few procedures here and there, but overall, the original “Material Girl” is lauded for her youthful appearance, packed concerts and enviable album sales. She has constantly reinvented her personal and musical styles to stay relevant from one generation to the next.

But earlier this week, the mother of three seemed to revert from leader to follower when she posted Instagram images of herself wearing fitted gold caps on her front teeth (an oral fashion accessory known in the hip-hop community as “grills”).

She even uploaded video of herself “twerking,” a dance craze recycled from the late 1990s that combines twisting and jerking the hips while moving the backside vigorously to the music.

Despite the highly sexual dance move having existed in rap lyrics and African-American dance clubs for more than a decade, 20-year-old Miley Cyrus has helped make it viral by twerking all through her latest video, “We Can’t Stop,” which has unfortunately led thousands of others to make YouTube videos doing the same.

Whether or not Madonna looks good rocking a grill or can actually twerk it like Miley isn’t the issue: keeping it classy as a mother is. How desperate has this one-time trailblazer become when she thinks it’s cool to be 50-plus and acting like her teenage daughter, Lourdes, rather than the good-and-grown woman that she is?

Would Barbra Streisand or Diana Ross ever film themselves wearing gaudy bling-bling, “dropping it like it’s hot” or hanging out with their kids as if they were peers instead of parents? Puh-LEASE.

After so many years on the planet, there comes a time that we accept those years as the badge of honor that they are, rather than burdens, and showcase them with decorum and dignity.

I know it’s probably hard to realize that our younger years are behind us and that we can no longer do everything we used to.

However, even if we’re relatively fit and blessed with an appearance that allows for a form-fitting this or a skin-baring that, why feel pressed to constantly do so? Do we want our children to treat aging as something to fear at all costs, or should we be our best selves and demonstrate classy examples of what our young ones can aspire to as adults?

I can’t speak for what Madonna’s trying to prove, but I hope that when I’m 50-something, I’ll be pretty close to what I am right now — of sound mind and body, up on the trends and yes, even still working my Zumba.

After all, being Mom and Dad doesn’t mean we’re like loaves of bread — going stale only because we’re also growing older.

Lorrie Irby Jackson is a Briefing columnist. Email her at lorrie.irby@gmail.com and follow her at motherofcolor.com.

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About Lorrie Irby Jackson

Lorrie Irby Jackson is Briefing columnist. The Cleveland native and Dallas freelance journalist also has written for Florida Today, Upscale Magazine and The Dallas Morning News. She is raising a son and two daughters with her husband, Calvin.