So I forgot my headphones again, and now I am forced to listen to other people’s conversation. Here are some examples today.

1) A young (lower) middle-class couple on a matrimonial date. The boy tells her (in Marathi), that he likes her nature. The girl in her mind does a small victory dance followed by a high five. They chatter inane stuff for a while and then get out.

2) A bhai looking person with a tattooed arm, is mouthing such bad words without being self-conscious (bhenc.. , la.de) Of course if he were self-conscious he wouldn’t have been a Bhai but would be in a corporate job. (My bad).

3) Two guys from the corporate world come in, if the Bhai’s are a disgruntled lot, then the corporate guys are the over satiated men. They have this overwhelming sense of overachievement. One guy has such an authoritative tone that the entire coffee shop could hear what he is talking, but he goes on oblivious to his surrounding, this is just an extension of his meeting room and not a public space, speak of the sense of entitlement.

I have never figured out what moon has to do without energy levels. Maybe the moon is a man-made satellite where the elite live from where they control our energy levels with some light waves? #conspiracy theory

A long time ago, A friend looked at my kundli and said, I would be the king of Mumbai. Since I had tremendous faith in her, I believed her and had been waiting for a windfall, expecting some Portuguese King to give me a dozen of flats in the posh areas of Mumbai. But that’s not happened so far.

So Its got me thinking, till recently I realised that, people having a lot of houses in Mumbai won’t make them a king of Mumbai. Also, this king and queen stuff is pretty embarrassing stuff to proclaim when there are about 60% of the Mumbai population living in slums.

The right definition for anyone to be the king of Mumbai is someone who can beat the traffic, which is slowly killing the Mumbai-ites. I have achieved the enviable task of beating the Mumbai traffic. A couple of years back, I sold my car because, with services like Uber and Ola around, I found maintaining a car, was painful, you know remember the stuff about servicing and repairs, parking woes in the city.

After moving around Uber and Ola, I decided to try the Mumbai Local Trains, and suddenly I started feeling extremely mobile and empowered, I could have breakfast in Matunga, Lunch in Powai and dinner in Ballard Pier and still manage to meet all my appointments and finish all my work.

The Mumbai local Train is magical, once you master the routes, you can zip around the city, trust me.

I would again reiterate, the person who can travel the length and breadth of Mumbai is truly the king of Mumbai.

Till the time, you don’t push yourself, you don’t discover the biggest limitations of your life, which is undoubtedly your physical body. To fire on all cylinders means to live a life totally, with all its dangers and complexities, but there is a catch here.

The moment you start firing your 3rd barrel, (presuming you an economical four-cylinder car) you find yourself falling behind, the more your mind leaps ahead, the farther your body lags. You have two choices at this point 1) Pull a trigger and blow your fucking brains or 2) Listen to the adamant body, listen to your body intelligence, and slow down, and start aligning yourself with its nature.

Since I am alive, it can be safely presumed that I have chosen the more reasonable option 2.

As you try to reason out, the first question which comes to one’s mind is “Are you going to die and when?” “Do I have an incurable disease or something life threatening” (though all your reports are normal), but your suspicions persist. As you bear the pain, day in and day out you begin to wonder, “when will I get relief from this humiliating illness?” or “Will I lead a life, limited by the inability to do things which an average person does and enjoys?”

An unhealthy person is unable to fulfill his commitments towards himself and to his loved ones. The sick body never can be good at work too. These are some of the most challenging thoughts which cross the mind when sick.

We usually blame ourselves for our sickness, like we shouldn’t have overeaten or binged on so many deserts. I know people with simple habits dying way too early in their life while the drunkards and the smokers are still alive and kicking.

There are two ways of dealing with your sickness again

1) To think that all that is happening to you is because of the wrong habits you have or the bad things you put into your body, both physically and emotionally.

2) Then there is another way, which I believe some African healers say is that your Health is the sum total of your environment (that includes your ancestors Karma also), and you can only do so much about it.

So I guess, as long as we desire to achieve more and more, we will realise our body disables us and keeps us grounded.

A couple of years back, a good friend and well-wisher who crossed 50 told me ” Manoj, our bodies change drastically after 40″. I looked at him like he had lost his marbles. I was fearless and used to think I can conquer the world.

Now well into my early 40’s, I feel my body is behaving strangely, my injuries don’t heal faster, I eat a lot less, I sleep rather early and wake a bit too early also.

I would go and add that there is significant change psychologically also. I don’t care for company, I spend almost all my time thinking about making money, the lust for the fairer sex is now very pragmatic. I don’t like going to music concerts or plays, which I used to love earlier. But on the upside, I have started reading like crazy. I am reading about 8 books simultaneously.

One other notable thing that has happened to me in my 40’s is that I have developed a morbid fear of life. I have never experienced such constant persisting fear in my heart, but this is something I just can’t get over. Before 40’s, I felt, I almost had an inexhaustible source of energy, now it seems like a rapidly, exponentially diminishing source.

I don’t know, what others in their 40’s feel like. I know people in their 60’s going strong. Ram Jethmalani (93), still the top lawyer in the country, or Kabir Bedi getting married again at 70, and Sunny Deol (58) making a roaring comeback with Ghayal once again.

Recently I met a friend after long time and while we were talking he told me that way back he did some Numerology on my name and said, “I see that your life is very extreme like you you will face extreme circumstances” what he meant was probably a lot of ups and lots of downs” Feels like a rollercoaster ride doesn’t it? But everyone’s life does feel like a rollercoaster ride, right? But maybe mine is more I don’t know.

That got me thinking

It’s quite true my life is a rollercoaster but more than Ups, I’m just going downhill but it’s a perspective of others and not mine.

So at this time I got into skateboarding you might ask what skateboarding has to do with extremes life ?

Disclaimer – skateboarding is primarily a juvenile activity.

The thing about skateboarding or long boarding is that when you’re going down you need less effort because you’re kicking with your feet and going down is also very fast and what will keep you on your board is your sense of balance. And to get the balance, I got a balance board where you stand on board with a roller below it, it is the best balance exercise I think which exists, the idea is to fall at home rather than fall while skateboarding on the road or in front of the people, you train yourself to balance.

So am I trying to physically control the extremes? Am I physically trying to control the downhill slide? Will the balance training translate in other parts of my life? These are mere analogies but somewhere everything is connected isn’t it?

I have no problems with extremes, but I think people who are close to me might find it really disorienting, when people see you going to extremes, some people jump off the rollercoasters, some people get on while the going is good, but generally it’s not a good thing I guess.

So I’ll be spending some time trying to balance my life as well as my board.

Crossing 40’s can only mean one thing! Work is worship, targets have to be met, investment have to accumulated, debt needs to be reduced and gross saving should grow!

20’s are the time when we want to discover our sexuality, 30’s is when we look out for love, but 40’s means only one thing i.e WORK.

P.S iam talking about my case here, for others it might be a different case.

In this case balancing other things becomes almost impossible. No matter how much you work, work always has a upper hand, there is always something which is greater than you couldn’t conquer that day! There is always a problem which needs way too much resources.

When do you stop, when do you pass the baton, and who is willing to take it forward?

We can read and go to a faraway land but in the end we have to come back and face ourself.

We can watch movies, when we are bored, go out and have a great time with the ones we love. But when the love becomes monotonous, we come back to face ourself.

We can pretend to be in love with someone or care for someone, but if the other person doesn’t believe it, the trip is cut short and we come back to face ourself.

So we feed on external energies till they can sustain us, but why does it run out sooner or later like love in marriages? Isn’t there a mutual energy exchange in all telepathic transactions? Can we see our gentle reflection in other people and activities than to be back to square one after a bad breakup and face ourselves in the mirror and question our own self worth?

The energy exchange is a tricky thing, the sender wants to give, but the receiver doesn’t want to receive. This makes the sender come back to himself and question the worth of his gifts. Should the sender give it to whoever is ready to receive the energy or he should wait for someone worthy and who is willing to receive this and needs this energy.

Does the energy sent back to the sender, compound like money in the banks or in the stock market? Will it be more valuable and appreciate like Gold or real estate, if not where does one invest this energy, this unsolicited energy, where can it be locked up?

Do we treat these invisible energy like we treat money in the market economy. Are these energies different from just plain material wealth?

The discussion about energy exchange is endless, i don’t know answers to these answers, but this is what makes the world go around, Iam sure.

This morning, when i went to for a cutting chai, i saw a scene being created by a few BMC officials with the chaiwala. They were asking 500 Rs fine, for illegal hawking. The chaiwala was serenely blissful while the BMC officials forcefully seized his container from which he dispenses tea. After that the BMC guy again using all maa bahen gali was threatening to take the chaiwala to the police station. The entire time the chaiwala was not disturbed at all. He was composed and cool. Finally he paid up and the BMC officials let him go.

I am sure if the same thing had been done with a marathi or the son of soil illegal hawker, there would have been a ugly scene? Anyway the indignation faced by the son of the soil is greater than the migrant worker, who knows that if nothing works out he will return to his village, and then come back after sometime, when things have cooled down.

The migrant worker has nothing to lose, everything is a bonus. I am not critiquing the migrant workers, but rather admiring their coolness in face of such filthy treatment.

So i was wondering if we all carry a attitude of “I don’t have anything to lose” can we be all cool, calm and composed in face of threats and criticism to our work? Or should we like son’s of the soil take our fight right in and crush our adversary for some pitiful gain?

I have lately been losing my temper of late on silly things related to work. Maybe I have nothing to lose? Maybe losing your temper is not such a bad thing, but i would rather keep it to myself and channelise it.

When you identify yourself with your ego the pain and suffering starts and slowly consumes you. THe moment you are in presence of something or someone bigger than yourself, your ego disappears in a sense of awe and wonderment and we feel one with all.

No matter we feel good about ourself when we are in presence of a celebrity or in the vicinity of a marvellous piece of architecture or simply in the presence of wild and wondrous nature. What could be more magnificent than mountains and seas. Can we ever be bigger than those mountains and seas, the sun and the moon and the stars?

But if i was digressing, why do we feel small when we are in not in presence of these awe inspiring things, why do we feel insignificant when our imaginations fail to see any bigger scheme for us. Do we have constantly search for scenes for something better and bigger than us, to let go of our ego. Can we surrender to the most insignificant being, can we surrender the same way to a lump of garbage like we do in front of the majestic mountains. As finding a piece of garbage is more easy than going to the mountains, isn’t it?

Do you feel you are meant to do something else, rather than what you do? Do you feel your true calling lies someplace else in the world, even though your current profession is highly satisfactory materially?

How to find your true calling?

I know the answer and Iam not giving it away for free, go and find your own answers 😛

I have stayed in this house since 2001, a lot of changes have taken place , i beleive good, but people tell me this house has been unlucky for me , they say the vastu is screwed up, it is dakshin mukhi , they hopefully conjure that I would do much better when I move out to a new house.

But I know the pain which goes in to making a house a home, and its never complete and now for some strange reason, i have to start all over from scratch, i feel like I am a engineering student, trying to get a hostel room.

Its pretty weird, I am resisting leaving the warm bed of mine and moving to a place without curtains or a gas. Maybe this time, i wont take so much time to settle in and make a home out of a house. They spiritual guru’s say, you should feel home at any place, maybe i will try to be a vagabond, find a home where I have to be, where I might end up.

This blog is another home of mine, i try to fill it up with little thoughts and some ephiphanies from time to time. It desperately needs a new look and more guests and good times?

If you have moved houses, do drop in some hints on how to adjust and be happy in the shortest possible time.

One of the problem with humankind is we treat each other as a means to an end. This behaviour can be termed as “Merchant Consciousness”. This is how rich see the poor, this is how the strong exploit the weak, this is how the the world turns, and it is called economic progress.

We try to associate with people who we can exploit, how we can leverage a connection for optimum gains, we even go the temple and bribe the god. I know, I am being judgemental, we all have bills to pay, education to look after, food to earn, we have to exploit and use all our cunningness to last in this rat race. There is no ethics for a person who hasn’t had a decent meal or bought good clothes.

But it makes me sad, very sad, to see this happen over and over again.

I have crossed my mid life, and till now have never ever kept regular hours, i.e I have never eaten my lunches and breakfast on time, never done my exercises on time. I guess you get the picture. I always believed in living the rockstar lifestyle and not the 9 to 5 lifestyle. Let me narrate a incidence.

Once I had a employee of mine accompanying me on one of the work trips, It was around 3.30 pm i was still keen on completing my work assignment and had completely forgotten about lunch. My employee ( a 6 feet tall and strong ex army man) had tears in his eyes! I was shocked, I asked him what is the matter, dude! He replies, “Sir, What is use of earning so much money, when we cant have meals at regular times? “. I was ashamed of my inconsiderate behaviour and then always made it a point that if this guy was with me, I would take a lunch break as he used to drive my car. I also realised that perhaps taking regular meals might be important. But I nevertheless discarded this fancy idea of regular hours, I believe in eating when you are hungry or when your biological clock says so.

So since a week, I have trying to lead regular hours, its excruciating, if i plan to sleep at 12pm, i feel sleepy around 9pm and the stay awake till 3am. But I haven’t given up, I am going to stick to a schedule for next 3 months.

The say old age is a gradual decline in the housekeeping of the body. In short as we age, our capacity to throw out toxins reduces and our bodies swell up with toxins. So how to do we throw out the toxins?

1) By breathing pure & unadulterated air 2) By having good habits like eating, bathing and abulating properly 3) By exercising, which increases the metabolism and helps throwing out toxins The easiest way is by Pranayama, which is essentially a breathing exercise. Breath In and breath out, make sure you dont pause in between breaths.

If you have one second left to see your daughter for the last time b4you leave her forever?If you have one second only to look into the eyes of the person youlove for the very last time?If you have one second left to say thank you to the one who nurturedyou before the person leaves forever?If you have less than one second left to say sorry to a friend before you die?If you have one second left before you leave the the worldly for theother world?

What would be significance of that unit of time? Would time stop for you?What if the life we imagine to be, is only a “second” ?