This excellent, punchy with a whiff of mystery. That last stanza is a particularly fitting finale.

The only line I would rework is blankly staring, not only because a ‘blank stare’ as such is a received phrase, but also because – to my mind – exactly this is the phrase and image the poem hinges on. The more eye-catching the image therefore, the stronger the poem. But other than that, great stuff.

About Ashok

Graduate Student in Political Science. Writes too much, badly needs an editor. Everything on this blog will eventually be revised or eliminated. The hope of this blog is to present you varied, thoughtful works, ones not typically engaged online. Contact me.

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"I hold there is no sin but ignorance" - Machiavelli, in Marlowe's The Jew of Malta