tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75893791556532909662018-03-05T09:36:47.871-08:00April's PromiseAprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.comBlogger129125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-26326524006992603522013-09-05T22:35:00.000-07:002013-09-05T22:35:04.936-07:00The Layers 2Prelude - <a href="http://aprilspromise.blogspot.com/2012/12/impossible-layers.html">Impossible Layers&nbsp;</a><br /><br />Multifaceted, multi-colored, blended so well together that the pigments are invisible... a dot of disappointment, a spec of joy, a blotch of anger, a splash of mistakes... the layers come together over the course of time. The layers bleed across the surface and form one colorful mess of a situation. Each dot, spec, blotch that forms can almost always be prevented... but once the layers form, they can be difficult to break apart again.<br /><br />The sadness, the despair ... the downright confusion that is caused by the layers can almost always be prevented. But we usually don't prevent them do we? Maybe we don't even realize that this tiny spec of anger, this insignificant piece of doubt will begin to run down the pages of our lives and bleed together with other tiny instances and form these impossible layers.<br /><br />But I'm not only talking about the layers that come from the situations and circumstances in our lives...and how we handle them, sure... &nbsp;I'm talking about the layers of ME.. the layers of YOU.. &nbsp;the things that have come together to make who I am - the layers that make me <b>tread lightly, fall hard, love deeply, give sacrificially, act selfishly</b>.. the layers that sometimes even contradict each other and pull me in different directions.<br /><br />The layers that make me want to be different people at times.. &nbsp;each one having a different piece to the puzzle of my personality. The clumsy girl, the introvert, the performer, the writer, the jokester, the dork, the friend, the lover, the relentless fighter... the dreamer.<br /><br />The layers, they are just me.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="bottom: 1em; clear: left; float: left; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px none currentcolor;" /></a><b><span class="text Matt-19-26" id="en-NIV-23789"><span class="woj"></span></span></b><br /><br />Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-45002600854471854162013-08-23T12:00:00.000-07:002013-08-23T12:00:02.583-07:00Restoring Friendships?Last year, I discovered Dr. Irene S. Levine, author of <a href="http://www.thefriendshipblog.com/">The Friendship Blog</a>. She is a clinical psychologist and renown friendship expert -she is actually called the "friendship doctor". Her blog is pretty much the only place I have been able to find sound advice on mastering the tricky etiquette of female friendships. You can find relationship advice about a significant other all over the internet, but not much about girlfriends and let's face it -- those are some of the most important, time consuming, and impacting relationships that women have. <br /><br />I have been so incredibly hurt by female friends... and I'm talking, some serious back-stabbing, rumor spreading, jealousy and "<a href="http://aprilspromise.blogspot.com/2012/01/when-mean-girls-grow-up.html">mean girl</a>" Lindsay Lohan stuff, except with grown women. These "friendships" have truly been the source of more heartache than I have EVER felt over a boyfriend or crush. And the more I have talked to other women about it, the more I have realized that I am not the only one. Why is it that women do these terrible things to each other? Why do we allow jealousy to grow roots deep enough to hurt someone only because we are so unhappy with ourselves? NO MORE.. NO... NOT ME...&nbsp; This is ridic, this is bananas and I will not do it anymore. <br /><br />A few days ago, I read the following in an article by Dr. Levine - "<i>One of the requisites of a healthy friendship is being able to feel safe with a friend—knowing that you can be yourself without putting on airs. Knowing you can tell her something without it going further. Knowing your friend will be there for you, that she'll have your back if you need her. Knowing that you <b>can believe the words</b> she is saying to you. Once that trust is broken, the friendship has changed and it can be very hard going back to the relationship you once had."&nbsp;</i><br /><br />I find myself in a season of forgiveness.. in learning how to wholly forgive and I can honestly say that I have done that. But what about restoration? I have had to make decisions about who I will try to resurrect a friendship with and who I will just let go. Sometimes, it isn't necessary to "raise the dead".. especially after you have discovered the truth about the relationship. But sometimes, there are friendships you decide are worth fighting for... there has been a true apology and there is a closeness and a love that even after all the drama still remains the same. But how can I feel safe again? As they say - <b>the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.</b>. but can't people change? I can easily resurrect a more distant friendship, but is that really the best thing to do?&nbsp; Now that the healing has been done, it is simply determining where to go from here... Honestly, I need to be careful about who I choose to spend my time with and who I choose to confide in and invest my heart in... I just wonder what happens next? <br /><br />There is so much about myself that I have learned and there has been so much healing in my life. This has been thanks to my relationship with Jesus. I really can't attribute that healing to anything or anyone else...&nbsp; I cannot recommend a greater lover, a more committed friend, than HIM. There is no relationship in my life that can surpass the long-lasting commitment and safety that knowing God has given me. It has helped me to see myself in a whole new light and it has helped me to learn that regardless of anyone else, I can remain grounded and unwavering. In all the decisions I make, I know that I need to hold on to that. <br /><br />I want to allow LOVE to surpass all.. I want to be that and model that - "love never fails" .. but I also don't want to be hurt again. God help me.<br /><br />In a recent text conversation with a friend I kind of shocked myself when I told her - "when opening our hearts to friends, the benefits outweigh the risks." -- Was that really ME talking?! I think so... because you see, I have certainly been hurt and hurt others but I have gained so much more than that. My friendships with other women have taught me so much about myself and have enriched my life in more ways than I can count.&nbsp; Some friendships have fallen apart, new ones always fall together and maybe... some can even fall apart and fall back together again over time.<br /><br />We'll see... In the mean time - h<b>ow do you feel about restoring friendships? Do the benefits outweigh the risk?&nbsp;</b><br /><br />XO,<br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="bottom: 1em; clear: left; float: left; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px none currentcolor;" /></a><b><span class="text Matt-19-26" id="en-NIV-23789"><span class="woj"></span></span></b><br /><br /><br /><br />Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-24825284618820359912013-08-03T16:01:00.003-07:002013-08-03T16:02:48.569-07:00I'm not Normal ... <br /><br /><iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="710" scrolling="no" src="//instagram.com/p/cIsF6-g0CD/embed/" width="612"></iframe><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Recent pic on my Instagram :)</i></div><br /><br /><br />Lately, I've been struggling with the three words in my title... "I'm Not Normal." Have you ever felt that way? Maybe in a particular circumstance or season of life? Well, I have always, always, felt that way... and I am starting to really question why.<br /><br />I remember being in second grade and sitting at a lunch table with my classmates. I had a moment of feeling so displaced ... "I am not like these other kids" I had thought to myself... and it was bad, it was so bad. Second grade, can you imagine that?<br /><br />The feeling of being different and not quite knowing why is pretty tough as a kid. I always thought that it was because of the bad things in my life... a Dad with alcoholism, parents with a tumultuous marriage, the constant moving from place to place and school to school. I was different and it wasn't good. How could being different be a good thing? I just want to be normal.<br /><br />Eventually, as things in my life started to iron out - a move across country (permanently), my mom found the courage to move on, I found my faith and relationship with Christ, I was able to heal from so many of the negative things in my past... but ya know what? I still continued to feel "not normal."<br /><br />And don't get me wrong, I had friends, I had great relationships... God really came through for me. He gave me a father figure and stability and I was happy... but normal? No, I was not normal.<br /><br />I guess my question is -- who is normal? Are you? I have always wondered if there are people who feel completely part of the group and never singled out for any reason.<br /><br />Since my Grandfather passed away, I have started to really focus in on my purpose in life. Why am I here? I think I know now... and I don't really know what to do with that information. I am scared you guys... and I am excited and I am overwhelmed ...<br /><br />Oh, and I'm sorry! LOL I'm sorry if this is not clear or if I am rambling on but writing is my therapy so here I am. I told you I wasn't normal !!<br /><br />That's all for now... I love you my readers... I count on your prayers as I figure this out.<br /><br />XO,<br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="bottom: 1em; clear: left; float: left; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px none currentcolor;" /></a><b><span class="text Matt-19-26" id="en-NIV-23789"><span class="woj"></span></span></b>Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-36845451351139547812013-07-31T14:30:00.001-07:002013-07-31T14:30:52.202-07:0026 Months. 26 Months... that's right... Two years and 2 months... it is a beautiful period of time and 26 is a beautiful number... but let me start from the beginning.<br /><br />There were so many things I was nervous about when I knew I was going to have my first child... being responsible for another human being in every possible way, well.. it is a pretty big deal.&nbsp; I knew from the start that I wanted to nurse my baby and I had the amazing blessing of landing a blogging gig with an amazing company called Bravado Designs to chronicle my breastfeeding experience. It was the best thing that could have happened because the writing pulled me through many difficult moments.<br /><br />Breastfeeding is something natural, so many women wrongly assume it will just be easy... I was one of them. I thought I would hold my tiny baby in my arms, he would gently latch on, drink until he was full and fall sleep peacefully. That is not quite how it works.<br /><br />Aiden was born with an excellent <a href="http://www.bravadodesigns.com/info/before-your-baby-is-born/babys-instinct-the-rooting-reflex">rooting reflex</a>. He was an eager nurser and for that I am thankful. The first several weeks of nursing were difficult to get the hang of and they were painful. I hate to break it to ya but it hurts ladies. Every lactation consultant will tell you that "a proper latch should never hurt" which is totally true but think about it... newborn baby, new mom... you are going to experience an improper latch or several in the beginning so yes, it hurts!<br /><br />After about 4 weeks though, we found our rhythm and I started to really, really enjoy breastfeeding my baby. First of all, I felt so grateful that he was being fed with the most natural ingredients possible and I wasn't putting any processed food into his little body. That was such an amazing feeling... I'd done all the research and I was giving my baby the best shot at health. Second, that time we spent together was priceless. Breastfeeding really makes it so that you have to be physically near your baby for longer periods of time than bottle feeding and I am so glad for that.<br /><br />When I learned that cow's milk should not be given until at least 12 months (1 year) of age, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed Aiden until his first birthday. I had no desire to give him infant formula so I'd wait until he was a year and slowly introduce cow's milk until he was weaned... Aiden had other plans!<br /><br />I noticed that after his first birthday, he was not emotionally ready to stop nursing. He was attached, he found immense comfort in it and his eating habits were still not where I thought they would be. We naturally just kind of continued with breastfeeding.&nbsp; I was nursing a toddler and trust me, no one was more surprised than me!<br /><br />It was incredibly frustrating to hear comments from many individuals about my breastfeeding Aiden as a toddler. I never, ever, felt the need to hide it and was always ready to nurse my baby anywhere under his nursing cover. I know many people felt uncomfortable especially as Aiden began to walk and talk... I know that I was criticized ... I don't really care.<br /><br />Deep down, I knew that Aiden still needed to nurse.. and quite frankly, the comments and silly statements I heard were from people who were simply uneducated on the matter.. so I took it with a grain of salt. I mean, I have education and research on my side and I know what I'm doing... so thank you for your opinion but it absolutely changes nothing.<br /><br />The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for the first 2 years and beyond... in many countries all over the world, it is completely the norm to nurse into toddler-hood. In the U.S. it seems that bottle-feeding is still the norm and thus, those of us "weirdos" who breastfeed are well.. weirdos. But the U.S. is also one of the most unhealthy countries in the world eating foods that have actually been outlawed in other countries but that is a whole other can of worms. Extended breastfeeding offers many benefits to baby including protection from sickness, allergies, and even higher IQ's. Extended breastfeeding offers many benefits to mom as well including the lowered risk of breast and ovarian cancers... I'll take it! If you want to learn more about breastfeeding past the first year you can read these great articles <a href="http://www.kveller.com/blog/parenting/i-breastfeed-my-toddler-got-a-problem-with-it/">here </a>and <a href="http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/breastfeeding-a-toddler.aspx">here</a>. <br /><br />I am grateful that I decided not to give in to pressure based on the discomforts of others and make the decision that I feel was best for my son. Breastfeeding successfully is one of my proudest accomplishments and I can proudly say I did it for 26 months.<br /><br />That's right... my big boy is fully weaned and no longer nursing. He just turned 27 months in July and has not nursed in over a month... I got to a point where I was very ready to end that part of our relationship and I needed to encourage Aiden to wean. It took lots of time and distraction but he did it and I am so proud of him for making this transition.&nbsp; A lot of Moms say they cry and feel depressed once their children wean but I couldn't be happier! I am happy that Aiden was able to nurse for as long as he did and I am equally happy that we are done.<br /><br />I love my baby boy so much... he is growing up so fast! <br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gbLfVWBLvNQ/Ufl_BX1SkII/AAAAAAAACuo/u8OtOCEzkoo/s1600/Aiden.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gbLfVWBLvNQ/Ufl_BX1SkII/AAAAAAAACuo/u8OtOCEzkoo/s400/Aiden.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="bottom: 1em; clear: left; float: left; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px none currentcolor;" /></a><b><span class="text Matt-19-26" id="en-NIV-23789"><span class="woj"></span></span></b>Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-19051803265199692142013-07-05T16:51:00.003-07:002013-07-05T16:51:45.765-07:00I Heart Local Business: A Restaurant Review I went to business school (Fordham University CBA) and while I can't say that joining corporate America is my "calling", I can say that my education and business experience (I've worked in advertising for 8 years) has given me certain roots in organizational leadership and the passion for making things better. While I am still trying to figure out how to blend career with calling and use my talents to "make things better" I am extremely grateful and supportive of organizations that start with one person's idea to simply -- make things better.<br /><br />I love small businesses and as a consumer, I make an effort to support local restaurants and shops by choosing them over a big chain. I think it is important for so many reasons... especially because I live in the Bronx and it is the 1 borough in New York City that is so underrated. People always seem so surprised when I tell them I live in a safe, family oriented, awesome neighborhood. Morris Park in the Bronx is a great place to live! Playground, public library, lots of local shops and .. RESTAURANTS. Really, really good restaurants I might add.<br /><br />A new burger shop opened up in the area called "The Stand" and my husband and I could not wait to try it! Our first visit did not really go so well and because I really do care about local business, I followed up with a review on their Facebook page. I hoped that this was an isolated incident and said as much in my review. To my delight, the owner of The Stand immediately contacted me via Facebook.&nbsp; To help make the situation right and keep me as a customer, the owner offered me and a guest a complimentary meal.&nbsp; I immediately decided to give it another chance and brought my camera along this time to post a new review:<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HcazCCSqowc/UddYz06k05I/AAAAAAAACtM/dsn21Ta-WYI/s1600/CAM00453.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HcazCCSqowc/UddYz06k05I/AAAAAAAACtM/dsn21Ta-WYI/s320/CAM00453.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I got the classic cheeseburger with cheese fries, chicken strips for Aiden and bacon cheeseburger for the hubster :)</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iTufTPndN5k/UddY9QJZ_qI/AAAAAAAACtU/ap4O_0nF7v0/s1600/CAM00455.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iTufTPndN5k/UddY9QJZ_qI/AAAAAAAACtU/ap4O_0nF7v0/s320/CAM00455.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Seriously guys, it was cooked to perfection! </td></tr></tbody></table><br />It really meant a lot to me that the owner invited me for a free meal... it showed that my business meant something to them and I thought it was really cool of them to do that. I have to say, that I do not regret giving The Stand a second chance. The food was divine and the service was great! The staff is friendly and helpful and I love the overall "feel" of the place:<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1OmnsQ0DNh4/UddaC11B7_I/AAAAAAAACtk/2F5EQ7-lv8A/s1600/CAM00450.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1OmnsQ0DNh4/UddaC11B7_I/AAAAAAAACtk/2F5EQ7-lv8A/s320/CAM00450.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Really fun vibe in decor </td></tr></tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UHtJaDIXU8k/UddaemFgaDI/AAAAAAAACts/8McO_DhB-7E/s1600/CAM00452.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UHtJaDIXU8k/UddaemFgaDI/AAAAAAAACts/8McO_DhB-7E/s320/CAM00452.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Front of the restaurant</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lU28NsT111w/UddalnWugwI/AAAAAAAACt0/RoNKBQu4hLQ/s1600/CAM00451.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lU28NsT111w/UddalnWugwI/AAAAAAAACt0/RoNKBQu4hLQ/s320/CAM00451.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Front counter </td></tr></tbody></table><br />Would I go back to The Stand? Absolutely! And I will... many, many times! I am so glad this place is in my neighborhood!&nbsp; So.. if you are in Morris Park, Trust me when I say -- GO TO THE STAND! You won't be disappointed :)<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eeiULqI7pyc/UddbgXBqASI/AAAAAAAACuE/2eyAV6pXWpo/s1600/CAM00456.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eeiULqI7pyc/UddbgXBqASI/AAAAAAAACuE/2eyAV6pXWpo/s400/CAM00456.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="bottom: 1em; clear: left; float: left; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px none currentcolor;" /></a><b><span class="text Matt-19-26" id="en-NIV-23789"><span class="woj"></span></span></b><br /><br /><br /><br />Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-85822427507970561972013-04-18T00:03:00.002-07:002013-04-18T00:03:33.975-07:00Confessions of a PK Part 3: Moving On...It's Thursday, 2:12am and I work in a few hours... I'm up... I'm wide awake... sleep has not come easy the last few days.<br /><br />From the time I started this blog series, I knew it would be 3 parts and I knew the last part would be titled "moving on"... what I didn't know was how much significance that title would have in this very moment.. the&nbsp; very moment I take my fingers to the keyboard and write it. In all of the craziness of the last six days, I just needed to write.. so here I am, at 2am, writing because I really need to.<br /><br />My Grandfather... my awesome, kind, funny, loving, Welo left this earth on Friday. He went home to be with God and I am so, so, happy for him. I wonder what he must be doing right now? I have been wondering a lot and wishing I could just catch a glimpse of him walking.. whole... healthy and free down the golden streets of heaven. You see.. there are many, many things that I doubt in my life. I struggle with all sorts of doubt. I doubt who I am, I doubt where I am going, I doubt God even at times... but one thing I am absolutely certain of is that my grandfather is in heaven. Because, yes, I believe there is a heaven and if anyone can get in - he can. That man's faith was more real than anything and this certainty that I have is the only thing giving me peace. <br /><br />Because losing someone you love is crazy hard. I know he was old, and I know he was sick.. and I thought I was prepared to lose him.. but I wasn't, I really wasn't and I still am not. Truthfully, I want him back. I want to rub his bald head and I want to tell him I love you... and I so desperately want to hear him say "I love you too" except he really would say it "I loo juuu tooo" and it was perfect.<br /><br />But that's the thing.. I can't. I have to move on and it really, really sucks. I remember when I decided it was time for me to move on from my Grandfather's church. The man was a Pastor and I lived under his roof. On Sundays we all went to church together and I decided I needed to go my own way. Trust me, it was a big deal. I was terrified to talk with him about it... I didn't want to hurt him. There were things about my faith that I was questioning and there were convictions that became crystal clear.. and I wasn't going to grow if I didn't move on.<br /><br />I'd learned how to love Jesus in my Grandfather's church. I'd accept Christ as my personal savior in Sunday School. He was my Pastor not just in that church but at home too. He was also my Dad... and I didn't know how to separate the two or even if I could. One day, I stood home from work and Welo was alone in the living room.. I decided to talk to him about things and to my surprise, he already knew what I was going to say.<br /><br />That day, Welo told me that my destiny was a great one. He said that he always knew I would move on one day. He told me "April, you have a calling for nations inside of you"... I wasn't sure what that meant at the time but it is something that has become more clear through the years. He told me to move on and that it was okay. He made me promise him to not forget what I had learned and to never give up because this world has nothing to offer me... that was always his focus.. what are you investing in eternity? So many things in this world are fleeting, but eternity.. eternity is what matters.&nbsp; That conversation was one of the last heart to hearts that we had and I will always treasure it.<br /><br />It was that talk that helped me to move on...&nbsp; and now, I wish I could have one last talk with him... so that I can move on .. but I can't. I have to find the strength, I have to pray for the strength and honestly I have no idea how I am going to do it. I wish I could end this more eloquently but I&nbsp; guess that is all I have to say.<br /><br />I miss my Welo so much...<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6_25Uq-czIo/UW-aAyNPkHI/AAAAAAAACkY/yBG1XFYZ-WM/s1600/june_2005_father_apri_nj.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="281" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6_25Uq-czIo/UW-aAyNPkHI/AAAAAAAACkY/yBG1XFYZ-WM/s400/june_2005_father_apri_nj.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Family Day at the park. </td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-28150948070938881462013-03-12T13:40:00.000-07:002013-03-12T13:40:40.100-07:00Spring will come... <table class="cquote"><tbody><tr><td style="color: #b2b7f2; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 35px; font-weight: bold; padding: 10px 10px; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 15px;">“ </td><td style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; padding: 4px 2px; vertical-align: top;">Relationships are a lot like flowers. If you find the right seed, put it in good soil, give it water and sunlight, bam. Perfect bud. And then comes winter and the flower dies. But if you tend that garden, spring will come along and that flower will bloom again. <br /> </td><td style="color: #b2b7f2; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: bold; padding: 10px 10px; text-align: right; vertical-align: bottom; width: 15px;"> ” </td></tr><tr><td colspan="3" style="padding-top: 0.1em;"> <div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 9px; text-align: right;"><cite style="font-style: normal;">—<a href="http://glee.wikia.com/wiki/Finn_Hudson" title="Finn Hudson">Finn</a> to <a href="http://glee.wikia.com/wiki/Rachel_Berry" title="Rachel Berry">Rachel</a>, <a href="http://glee.wikia.com/wiki/I_Do" title="I Do">I Do</a>.</cite></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 9px; text-align: right;"><br /></div><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings></xml><![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal"><cite><span style="font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;; font-style: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I love the show - Glee... I am total Gleek and do not miss an episode. Recently, Finn said the above words to Rachel and it really got me thinking about Spring. After months of a cold, grey winter it brings so much comfort to know that Spring will come. That even if you cannot see the flower, the seed you know is planted beneath the cold, icy soil will eventually bloom again. It isn't a question, it isn't a possibility... it is a certainty.&nbsp;</span></cite></div><div class="MsoNormal"><cite><span style="font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;; font-style: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></cite></div><div class="MsoNormal"><cite><span style="font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;; font-style: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There are so many seeds trapped beneath the icy soil in my life right now. Seeds that have once been in full bloom, seeds that are old, seeds that are new and have not yet had a chance to grow. I have been in the season of "winter" not just literally but in every other sense and I am comforted because very soon, MY SPRING WILL COME.&nbsp;</span></cite></div><div class="MsoNormal"><cite><span style="font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;; font-style: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></cite></div><div class="MsoNormal"><cite><span style="font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;; font-style: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It can be tough to face change, uncertainty and even the death of something in our lives. A job, a relationship, a door that closes before we can see any new one opening up... but I can say that I know for sure these times are necessary. Time to reflect, time to pray, time to regroup is just necessary. I am not a big fan of the winter but I know it is a necessary time. I've recently been through quite a winter and I knew from the moment it started that it is exactly what I needed. I am not saying it hasn't been difficult or that I've enjoyed it... the winter is gloomy, cold, empty even. But I am saying that I know I needed a winter of my very own. A time to snuggle underneath the covers and talk to God because after-all, it is only a season.&nbsp;</span></cite></div><div class="MsoNormal"><cite><span style="font-family: &quot;Calibri&quot;,&quot;sans-serif&quot;; font-style: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />And I sit here in anticipation of my Spring... because I know it will be here soon....Tend that garden, spring will come along and that flower will bloom again. </span></cite></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><b>For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.</b><br /><div style="text-align: right;"><b><em>Song of Solomon 2:11-13</em></b></div><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="&#45;-"/> 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font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style><![endif]--><h2 style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 9px; text-align: left;"><cite style="font-style: normal;"> </cite></h2><h2 style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 9px; text-align: left;"><cite style="font-style: normal;"> </cite></h2><h2 style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 9px; text-align: left;"><cite style="font-style: normal;"> </cite></h2></td></tr></tbody></table>Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-30054560128973531662013-03-04T15:35:00.001-08:002013-03-04T15:35:59.723-08:00Confessions of a PK, Part 2: Kid Under the MicroscopeLet me start with this... I have a Pastor and he has two beautiful little daughters. I feel such a strong connection to those girls because of my upbringing and I also appreciate the work their parents do so much, that I seek to love on these kids, protect them, let them know how special they are... because YES, their parents work hard to bless my life and so YES they are special to me. I strive to treat my Pastor's kids in this way because if I am telling the truth, it is the way I would have liked to be treated in my Grandfather's church.<br /><br />I remember the first time I felt like I was under the microscope. A deacon in the church made it her life's mission to "catch me" talking to a friend during the sermon. Let's face it, an 11 year old kid is going to get a little distracted during a 5 hour long service so all of us would talk, pass notes, the usual. But it's like this woman needed it to be me... she waited, she watched and boy would she complain. It was the first time I realized that I was different from my friends in church.. and to be honest, I didn't want to be. I just wanted to be a regular kid.<br /><br />I felt people were harder on me than anyone else because of who my Grandfather was... I guess they thought that if he was this amazing, God pleasing person I should be too... so my attitude quickly became -- "I am going to be".<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2Np5Xy4sz7E/UTUqB6Ps9rI/AAAAAAAACak/5Xnv-xEeqqo/s1600/Welo+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="391" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2Np5Xy4sz7E/UTUqB6Ps9rI/AAAAAAAACak/5Xnv-xEeqqo/s400/Welo+5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">With my Grandfather on Christmas morning... (Jasmine is the closest thing to a Latina Princess we have okay) </td></tr></tbody></table><br />I was an over-achiever and I aimed to please others right away... but somehow I always ended up feeling inadequate because my passion was never enough, my effort was never enough... heck, even my heart was never enough. I know now that this is the problem with a legalistic belief system... that no one ever really measures up (Romans 4:15) and there are certain biblical truths I would be on a journey to discover myself. Still, I had to face many road bumps along the way. <br /><br />I had to smile, I had to be on my A-game all of the time and I to this day, wish adults would have known better than to put that kind of pressure on me. The weird thing is my Grandfather himself <b>never </b>put that pressure on me... he would get complaints about how "April wore the wrong thing to church today" or "April didn't come to such and such event" and he never even told me about them. I would later come to learn that someone called him at home or pulled him aside and he would always, always SHUT THEM DOWN. Afterall, I was his baby =) I have to credit my grandmother for this too. She would always stick up for me. <br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Wk-5EWg1PeA/UTUrchv35WI/AAAAAAAACas/Z4CG9OqRUMI/s1600/Welo+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Wk-5EWg1PeA/UTUrchv35WI/AAAAAAAACas/Z4CG9OqRUMI/s320/Welo+4.jpg" width="232" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Holding me as a baby</td></tr></tbody></table>Over time, I had to learn how to take it in stride and simply be true to myself. It&nbsp; is still something I am learning to do. One thing I learned from my Grandfather is that nothing is more important than loving others. Even when I did feel judged by someone else, I worked hard to love them because it is really love that conquers all. <br /><br />I hated feeling like a specimen under the microscope... there is an element of that, that I still struggle with to this day. My guard is always up... in many negative ways it formed me but now I can say that it formed me in positive ways too.<br /><br />I am so grateful for everything in my life... I wish some things could have been different but overall, I am just grateful. I love you Welo!<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px none currentcolor;" /></a><b><span class="text Matt-19-26" id="en-NIV-23789"><span class="woj"></span></span></b>Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-47707470450497897292013-02-27T11:40:00.003-08:002013-02-27T11:40:55.625-08:00Confessions of a PK: Part 1 <b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preacher%27s_kid">From Wikipedia</a>: Preacher's kid</b> (abbreviated as <b>PK</b>) is a term to refer to a child of a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preacher" title="Preacher">preacher</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pastor" title="Pastor">pastor</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deacon" title="Deacon">deacon</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vicar" title="Vicar">vicar</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lay_leader" title="Lay leader">lay leader</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minister_%28Christianity%29" title="Minister (Christianity)">minister</a> or other similar church leader. Although the phrase can be used in a purely descriptive way, it may also used be as a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotype" title="Stereotype">stereotype</a>.<br /><br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2mSk5gKEcWc/US5fZDRdnNI/AAAAAAAACZ8/PoB2aXWnlpY/s1600/Welo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2mSk5gKEcWc/US5fZDRdnNI/AAAAAAAACZ8/PoB2aXWnlpY/s320/Welo.jpg" width="272" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My grandfather officiating a wedding </td></tr></tbody></table>Technically speaking, my MOM is actually the Pastor's kid... her dad (my grandfather) has been in ministry as a pentecostal preacher/pastor (say THAT 5 times fast!)&nbsp; since he was only 17 years old. Although my mom was raised in the church, when the time came for her to move out on her own she also went her own way for a while in terms of faith. My mom moved 3000 miles away to California to raise her family and while she taught us about the importance of God in our lives, I can't say that I ever felt or understood the magnitude this faith had in our family. My grandparents would come visit every summer and we'd have family worship services every Sunday while they were in town. I loved it! We would sing songs and my Grandpa would preach a sermon and I just loved my grandparents and everything about them. I thought my Grandfather was like.. one of God's favorite people or some kind of VIP or something. I remember thinking that if I just asked him to pray for something, it would come true. He was like magic! When the summer was over, they would get on a plane back to New York and life would continue... we'd go to church on special occasions, I'd say my prayers every night.. but nothing outside of that. Until the divorce...<br /><br />When my parents called it quits on their marriage, my mom needed a way to support my brother and me on her own. I've written about my father before so needless to say, he was not very involved. I was 10 years old at the time and we moved to New York to live with my Grandparents. Immediately, we started going to church with them every Sunday (anyone under that roof, goes to church) and Mondays, and Tuesdays, and Fridays.... it was a full time gig. As a child, I loved being a part of the church. I began to really grow and realize certain talents that I had by being able to express them at church. I found a new sense of belonging and made so many lifelong friends. But my "church life" did not remain in that building... I was the Pastor's kid... it was in my everyday life, in my home, and eventually ingrained in me as a person.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2f0O9O5wivU/US5f4mv5API/AAAAAAAACaE/wUZK7w4ixJw/s1600/Welo+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2f0O9O5wivU/US5f4mv5API/AAAAAAAACaE/wUZK7w4ixJw/s400/Welo+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My hubby and I at a Pastor appreciation service for my Grandpa</td></tr></tbody></table><br />My Grandfather was the real deal. He was so passionate about his work for God and he really, truly, lived out everything that he preached. I'm not saying he didn't make mistakes but he was genuine and full of love for God and the people that he led. He kept a yellow notepad by the phone in the kitchen with the name and number of every single member of his congregation. He Pastored over 300 people (for a church in the south Bronx, that is a lot!) and every Sunday evening would grab that notepad and make phone calls to everyone who had missed service that day. He made all his calls from the kitchen and I'd hear him saying - "I missed you, can I pray for you, I hope to see you next week". He would pray every single morning in the living room of our house at 5am. I would sometimes sit down in the hallway when I couldn't sleep and listen to him pray... it was inspiring and heart warming the way he mentioned every single man, woman, and child by name.<br /><br />I can't say that the Pentecostal religion was the path for my life, but I can say that a path of faith in Christ was and I know that it was my Grandfather who started me on this path. My experience being in a Pastoral family with a fundamentalist belief system was not always great. Many times I was made to feel judged, inadequate,&nbsp; constantly watched and observed by others. Those pressures and negative experiences are something I know I need to work through, but today I will just tell you that my Grandfather represented NONE of those things. He was loving, he was inclusive, he was the first one to admit that he was flawed and imperfect and he truly LOVED people. He truly loved me and it is a love I feel even now that he has dementia and can no longer verbally express. <br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sx9275Ga-qs/US5gKg3qLuI/AAAAAAAACaM/8CPx0WBst_w/s1600/Welo+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="326" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sx9275Ga-qs/US5gKg3qLuI/AAAAAAAACaM/8CPx0WBst_w/s400/Welo+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hanging out Poolside at a family reunion. THIS is the side of him I will always hold close... the jokester, the storyteller, the Father I was missing and he so boldly stepped in to be for me :) </td></tr></tbody></table><br />&nbsp;I'm interested in hearing from any other PK's out there. As I work through this and write about it, I'd love to know what you think. That's all for now.<br /><br />XO,<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px none currentcolor;" /></a><b><span class="text Matt-19-26" id="en-NIV-23789"><span class="woj"></span></span></b>Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-35727403829228754332013-01-17T13:40:00.001-08:002013-01-17T13:57:56.794-08:00One Month and they are not forgotten ... <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JCNta8pA1QU/UPhwaNZxxlI/AAAAAAAACZM/anzk_hp0mpo/s1600/sandy+hook.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="425" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JCNta8pA1QU/UPhwaNZxxlI/AAAAAAAACZM/anzk_hp0mpo/s640/sandy+hook.jpeg" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">20 Beautiful Babies and 6 Heroic Educators who lost their lives on December 14th 2012</td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>I have been procrastinating, fighting myself, or whatever else you want to call it on writing this blog post. There is just so much out there already... so many opinions, so many emotions that this tragedy has caused and I honestly have not been able to find words that are any different or any more meaningful to share. I cannot believe it has already been one month... one month ago this senseless, horrible act took the lives of so many innocent children. Babies... it shakes me to the core and I don't think I will ever understand it. <br /><br />There are so many debates going on politically and otherwise in the aftermath of this tragedy. Gun control, mental health, school safety... and trust me, I have opinions but for this purpose I don't think sharing them makes much difference. I pray to God that he would have a hand in our country's government and that he would impart wisdom to those officials involved in making decisions in these areas. I pray that God himself would intervene here and I pray that we never, ever, ever, have to experience a tragedy like this again.<br /><br />I pray for all our babies... that God would keep them safe from harm and that we would never take a single precious moment we have with them for granted. <br /><br />May God give strength to the families who lost so much on that day just one month ago.<br /><br />Xoxo,<br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px none currentcolor;" /></a><b><span class="text Matt-19-26" id="en-NIV-23789"><span class="woj"></span></span></b> <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />PS - The parents of the victims have started an organization called "Sandy Hook Promise". If you haven't already, please sign up to take the pledge and donate to help this organization move forward and support the families in need.<br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uU9m5fp7_nY/UPhzfBPW0NI/AAAAAAAACZk/VCMBd-KnwtE/s1600/SandyHook.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="163" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uU9m5fp7_nY/UPhzfBPW0NI/AAAAAAAACZk/VCMBd-KnwtE/s320/SandyHook.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">http://www.sandyhookpromise.org/</td></tr></tbody></table><br />Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-27847192977141534052012-12-19T12:31:00.000-08:002012-12-19T12:31:03.443-08:00Crappy You'll have to forgive me if I am not in an inspirational mood today. My perspective is a little different and this is all about the good AND the bad so here it goes:<br /><br />How <b>crappy </b>does it feel when someone is your friend and supports you only when in their eyes you are doing "the right thing"? Do the wrong thing though.. and their support is pulled out from underneath you because strings were always attached to their friendship anyway.<br /><br />How <b>crappy </b>does it feel when you are in a very difficult life moment and someone turns their back on you?<br /><br />How <b>crappy </b>does it feel when you are about to jump off the ledge and rather than "talk you down", someone just gives you a good, hard, kick?!<br /><br />How <b>crappy </b>does it feel when you know you have made a mistake and someone verbally and emotionally abuses you because they can't get over their own disappointment and think for a second about how you must be feeling?<br /><br />I'll tell you... it feels supremely, utterly, enormously, <b>CRAPPY</b>.<br /><br />If you want to be a judge, go to freakin law school and invest in a gavel... otherwise, LEARN HOW TO LOVE because I guarantee you will find yourself in a position one day, where you will need to cash in on some love and support in your darkest times.<br /><br />End of rant. We can now resume our regularly scheduled programming and be inspirational and positive for the remainder of the day.<br /><br />*curtsey*<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-67083396176047365842012-12-18T13:47:00.001-08:002012-12-18T13:56:21.109-08:00Perspective<h3><span class="vk_ans vk_dgy">per·spec·tive</span>&nbsp;&nbsp;</h3><div class="vk_sh">/pərˈspektiv/<span class="speaker-icon-listen-off" data-s="perspective.mp3" id="speaker_icon" style="margin-bottom: 1px; margin-left: 6px; margin: 0;"></span></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"><u>Noun</u></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"><i>A picture drawn in such a way, esp. one appearing to enlarge or extend the actual space, or to give the effect of distance.</i></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"><br /><br />I've always loved the arts... I love to spend my time immersed in music, theater and literature. I love a good story and whether I am listening to a favorite song or reading an exciting book, it's all about the good stories. That's probably why I love to write.. I need to write... because there's always a story to tell. While I appreciate fine art and love to visit museums to look at paintings and drawings, I have no artistic talent whatsoever. Just ask my Sunday School students -- I am known for silly stick-figures.&nbsp;</div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"><br /></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh">I have to admit that drawing and painting is something I've always wished I could do. When I think about perspective, I actually envy artists. The ability to paint a picture in such a way that actually changes the way the eye will view it... I think that is an amazing ability. I wish I could pick up a pencil and do that... I wish I could change perspective not just on paper, but in life.&nbsp;</div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"><br /></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh">Because really... it's all about your perspective isn't it? Whether you choose to count your hardships or count your blessings, whether the glass is half full or half empty, your own personal vista of the world and life around you. Vista... I think that will be my word for 2013.<br /><br /><br /></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"><br /></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"><b>There is a God who loves me... </b></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3lXbmoFwYIo/UNDX3G_GStI/AAAAAAAACX8/ew5aCT0DLO0/s1600/raindancing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3lXbmoFwYIo/UNDX3G_GStI/AAAAAAAACX8/ew5aCT0DLO0/s320/raindancing.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Grace like rain ... I can dance in it, I can play in it, I am constantly washed with it.. Hallelujah! </td></tr></tbody></table><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"><br /><br /><b>&nbsp;</b><b>I have an unconditionally loving partnership with the world's best husband...&nbsp;</b><br /><br /><b>I have a small, tight circle of friends who support me even in my darkest hours...&nbsp;</b><br /><br /><b>I have a roof over my head, a warm blanket to hide under at night, and food on my table...&nbsp;</b><br /><b><br /></b><b>I have a job in this crazy economy and a generous employer who God has used to supply all my needs...&nbsp;</b><br /><b><br /></b><b>I have coffee... every day.... yes, it is a big deal.&nbsp;</b></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"><br /><br /><br /><b>I have a happy, healthy little boy who is home safe... </b></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xhLUtEkWl5E/UNDY9eOjhsI/AAAAAAAACYI/E3CqQ0gk_kQ/s1600/IMG_20121218_133908.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xhLUtEkWl5E/UNDY9eOjhsI/AAAAAAAACYI/E3CqQ0gk_kQ/s320/IMG_20121218_133908.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I simply cannot find the strength to write an entire blog post about this, but when reading about the devastating loss of 20 BABIES in Connecticut this week, I find it hard to complain about any of my own hardships. This weekend I got to ride the carousel with my baby. He lit up as soon as he saw the thing... he was so happy! After his ride he got a stamp on his hand of a horse and even now (days later) he runs up to show it to me with pride. What a blessing that I am able to enjoy my sweet, innocent, perfect little baby. My heart is heavy and I am praying for those parents who have had to say goodbye to their babies.&nbsp;</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><br /><br />Even as I face some of the hardest times I've ever had to, as I cry and try to pick up the pieces of so much brokenness,&nbsp; I simply cannot change my perspective..<br /><br />My perspective... my vista...&nbsp; life is pretty blessed... pretty full... pretty amazing and I won't stop feeling grateful for it. Through it all, I am glad to have some perspective because there are so many reasons to smile.<br /><br />XO,<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px none currentcolor;" /></a><b><span class="text Matt-19-26" id="en-NIV-23789"><span class="woj"></span></span></b> <br /><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"><br /></div><div class="vk_gy vk_sh"><br /></div>Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-6606058737027641092012-12-14T09:14:00.003-08:002012-12-14T09:14:54.677-08:00Impossible Layers Have you ever gotten to the point where sadness constantly lingers and your heart aches but you can't pinpoint exactly why? I'll tell you why... it's the layers...<br /><br />And when I say layers, I mean the events, the words, the actions that hurt and were then buried over time... in hopes that they would go away but they don't. They build, one on top of the other like the sedimentation of rock and minerals at the earth's surface. The result is a strong, sturdy bed of rock that although looks and feels like one solid piece... was actually built in layers.<br /><br />Impossible layers...&nbsp; layers that have come together so well and you can't figure out how to break them apart. Layers that overwhelm and confuse you to the point where it just doesn't feel worth it to get out of bed in the morning. Sadness is all about the layers.<br /><br />I was reading the bible this morning because these layers are just impossible. The only thing that has a fighting chance of penetrating them are the very words of God himself. The words that are quick, powerful, sharper than a two-edged sword that pierces into the dividing asunder of the soul and spirit...&nbsp; piercing...the very thought of that piercing is like a rope slowly being lowered into a hole of blackness. That powerful, sharp piercing that can make it through even the most impossible of layers. <br /><br />Maybe they aren't so impossible after all...<br /><br />&nbsp;<b><span class="text Matt-19-26" id="en-NIV-23789">Matthew 19:26 - Jesus looked at them and said, <span class="woj">“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."</span></span></b><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px none currentcolor;" /></a><b><span class="text Matt-19-26" id="en-NIV-23789"><span class="woj"></span></span></b> Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-51928568644927599162012-11-28T13:55:00.000-08:002012-11-28T13:55:00.518-08:00Catch Up Post: Holidays and Family Traditions Why, HELLO Blog world! Have I missed you!<br /><br />With the new position at work, my personal writing, family, and ministry projects it has been nearly impossible to find blogging time but I wanted to touch base and also ramble a bit about the Holidays.<br /><br />Thanksgiving was wonderful!! We spent most of the day at our church serving a Thanksgiving meal to the community. Nearly 200 people came and were fed a warm meal that day. We also had a mini pantry so that they can take groceries home, live music, crayons and coloring sheets for the kids.. it was so much fun to be a part of. Here are some pics from that event:<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yKMg45bWbTs/ULaC9sb5nDI/AAAAAAAACXA/twoQiFkEmOQ/s1600/April+thanksgiving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yKMg45bWbTs/ULaC9sb5nDI/AAAAAAAACXA/twoQiFkEmOQ/s320/April+thanksgiving.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All ready to get started. Green Beans!!</td></tr></tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CMdGf7TkI4U/ULaDACKgesI/AAAAAAAACXI/AFxDmBeCvBY/s1600/Group+thanksgiving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CMdGf7TkI4U/ULaDACKgesI/AAAAAAAACXI/AFxDmBeCvBY/s320/Group+thanksgiving.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Awesome team of servers.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />After church, we went to my mom's for dinner and some family time.&nbsp; My aunt is visiting from Arizona so it was nice to spend a Thanksgiving with her after so many years. I can truly say that I am thankful for so much and it was amazing to be able to give back on this day. It really made me start to think about my little family and the traditions we are starting with Aiden. He is 19 months old now - such a big boy!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mDQEal_zWBQ/ULaHWp1u0QI/AAAAAAAACXc/K88qImmUE6c/s1600/Aiden+Kyle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mDQEal_zWBQ/ULaHWp1u0QI/AAAAAAAACXc/K88qImmUE6c/s400/Aiden+Kyle.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br />I want to make sure that we teach him to give back and perhaps make it a Thanksgiving tradition to volunteer or help out in some way. I think it is an important thing to teach him so I look forward to serving with my husband and our son in the future.<br /><br />And speaking of traditions... what are your holiday traditions? I have so many that I grew up with and ever since creating a family of my own, we have been working on incorporating our old traditions but also coming up with some brand new ones! The beauty of family traditions are that you can enjoy them as a family. One thing I don't want are for my traditions to become a routine or even worse.. an obligation. What we do, should always be out of LOVE and not a sense of feeling obligated to attend a function or guilted into it for that matter.&nbsp; I would hate for Aiden to grow up and feel like he "has no choice" but to come&nbsp; home for the Holidays. I want him to have fond memories of the Holidays and his traditions as a child... it's time to make memories!!<br /><br />For Christmas Eve, we will be letting Aiden open up gifts from extended family and friends. Eventually, this will happen at midnight but while he is still a baby, he can open gifts before bed. We'll have dinner and some fun and maybe we'll even leave cookies and milk out for Santa :)<br /><br />On Christmas morning, we will have a family breakfast and open up gifts together under the tree. Aiden can get his gifts from "Santa" (mama and dada) and we can spend the day in our PJ's, just us.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y10YluRGkUU/ULaH3p7dGmI/AAAAAAAACXk/6GxrfL_KQBw/s1600/xmas+tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y10YluRGkUU/ULaH3p7dGmI/AAAAAAAACXk/6GxrfL_KQBw/s640/xmas+tree.jpg" width="360" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our Tree- Christmas 2012 :)</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />I'd like to eventually start some Holiday activities together... maybe an art project or a favorite recipe we create together. Who knows... but for now, I think our traditions are starting to shape up. I am so very grateful for my little family and the opportunity to celebrate and be together during these special times. I just LOVE the holidays!!<br /><br />Catch ya later,<br />~A <br /><br /><br />Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-10342834519905513362012-09-11T08:34:00.002-07:002012-09-11T08:34:58.203-07:00I was Sweet Sixteen... <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aFogziLhme8/UE9aBMy6rmI/AAAAAAAACWU/DEEaCw_rns8/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aFogziLhme8/UE9aBMy6rmI/AAAAAAAACWU/DEEaCw_rns8/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a></div><br /><br /><br /><br />I wasn't feeling well and decided to stay home from school that day...&nbsp; I still planned to make it to my part-time job at a law firm a few towns away. I woke up and smelled coffee that my grandfather had made and headed to the kitchen to grab a cup. My grandmother was sitting in front of the television, crying and holding her face in her hands. Immediately, I felt a sense of "something is very, very wrong". When I asked her what was the matter, she pointed to the television and there it was...<br /><br /><br />A plane had crashed into the world trade center... the twin towers...&nbsp; people were scrambling, desperate to make it out... even jumping from&nbsp; the building. My heart threatened to come right up out of my chest and my knees started to buckle. How could something like this happen? I thought we were safe here?<br /><br />After the shock settled in, I realized something even scarier than all of this ... my mother was working on 17th street in Manhattan. My mom had gone to work that morning and we hadn't heard from her. I picked up the phone, fumbled over the keypad and typed in her office number. Busy... busy...&nbsp; I tried her cell phone... busy... I tried to call my boyfriend's phone... busy...&nbsp; I couldn't&nbsp; get in touch with anyone and I had no idea what was going on outside my home. <br /><br />Were we under attack? <br />Would more buildings be destroyed?<br />Who was doing this?<br /><br />My mind and heart racing, I started to get dressed. I would take my grandmother's car and drive into Manhattan (I had no license) if that is what it took. I would find my mom and bring her home. Hysterical, tears flowing down my face I finally remembered that I could pray. <br /><br />That was one of the first conversations I had ever had with God where I really wasn't sure he was listening... where I really doubted him ...&nbsp; Even through all the turmoil of my childhood, I had that innocent blind faith in God and knew he would take care of me and my family... this time, I wasn't so sure.<br /><br />The truth is, God did take care of my family that day. My mom walked 6 hours from Manhattan along with countless others that day. She was safe.. my loved ones were safe and no-one I knew died in the towers that day. But still, too many of my fellow New Yorkers did... too many lost a Mother, or a Father... a Son or a Daughter...&nbsp; and we would never be the same.<br /><br />The truth is, God did take care of all of them too... even if not in the way we would have chosen. He holds this world in the palm of his hands and it is not always easy, but we have to choose to believe that.&nbsp; For those lost and for ourselves... we can't loose faith, we can't stop saying as a nation --&nbsp; "In God we Trust". <br /><br />Never forget September 11th, 2011 ... but never lose FAITH... he is present, he is constant, he will never leave us.<br /><br /><b>You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3)</b><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px currentColor;" /></a> Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-82146385199325101892012-07-09T15:25:00.001-07:002012-07-09T15:25:34.040-07:00Free Haircut - shortest of my life!I just needed to quickly take to my blog because today I got a SHORT haircut!&nbsp; It was part of a class being offered for hairstylists at the L'Oreal studio in Soho. I saw a Facebook post a few weeks ago, that the studio was looking for hair models. You basically volunteer to come sit, let a stylist go scissor happy on your hair and in return you get a free haircut and a goodie bag of products. I sent my picture in to be considered and what do you know... they picked me! <br /><br />It's kind of silly because I was conflicted about this all weekend. I have never had my hair shorter than my shoulders and I just knew they were going to want to go short with it. I've always wanted to try a shorter style but have never had the guts to go above the shoulder.<br /><br />The instructor of the class was very convincing... very British... and very fabulous. He basically went around to each hair model and informed us what type of style would go with our face. He terrified me! LOL<br /><br />But I decided that if I signed on for this experience, I would go with the flow and let them do their thing. I&nbsp; had an amazing stylist who was from Philadelphia and he made me feel very comfortable. He kept asking me throughout my haircut "are you okay?" because I continued to fidget nervously in the chair as he snipped away.<br /><br />It took about 3 hours which was annoying but overall, a really, really, fun experience and I would so do it again! I love my haircut too!&nbsp; <br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZB9CpRFLpSE/T_tZiMIHezI/AAAAAAAACV8/k4Qbi2tjOlg/s1600/IMAG0301-1-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZB9CpRFLpSE/T_tZiMIHezI/AAAAAAAACV8/k4Qbi2tjOlg/s400/IMAG0301-1-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shameless self pic in the bathroom =) </td></tr></tbody></table><br />&nbsp;I am signed up to their mailing list for future events... interested? Hit me up!<br /><br />Happy Monday people! <br /><br />Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-70518254656311329712012-07-04T20:05:00.001-07:002012-07-04T20:05:39.652-07:00The truth is never easyYa know, I am far from perfect... and at times, I am far from honorable, or good.... but there is one thing I simply have never been able to stray too far from... the truth.<br /><br />I have always been true to who I am and true to how I feel. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, I don't pretend anything actually. Pretending is just too hard and I don't honestly understand why people do it. Why sweep things under the rug and pretend that everything is dandelions? That kind of life must be exhausting. I just can't do it. And honestly, I find it very difficult to respect people who do. Scratch that, I DO NOT respect or trust people who do. Sorry.<br /><br />The truth is never easy... and I get why sometimes we just don't want to face it. But sitting down and speaking truthfully (though painful as it might be at times) is a stepping stone to something even better - to wholeness. And isn't being whole... and I don't mean being "civil" or being "courteous" I mean being truly whole again... isn't being whole so much better?<br /><br />I may be a lot of things.. and trust me, I am not always good things... but fake... fake is NEVER one of them. &nbsp; The truth is never easy.... but easier is not always better. Actually, it hardly ever is.<br /><br />~AAprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-85538411518524915932012-06-28T14:42:00.000-07:002012-06-28T14:44:52.979-07:00Babies: The New Fashion Accessory?<span class="hw"></span><br /><h3 class="r g0"> <span style="padding-bottom: 14px; padding-right: 15px;"><i>ac·ces·so·ry</i></span><span style="font: smaller 'Doulos SIL','Gentum','TITUS Cyberbit Basic','Junicode','Aborigonal Serif','Arial Unicode MS','Lucida Sans Unicode','Chrysanthi Unicode'; padding-bottom: 7px;">/akˈses(ə)rē/</span></h3><h3 class="r g0"> A thing that can be added to something else in order to make it more useful, versatile, or attractive.</h3><div class="r g0">In a society that values appearance and how much of something we have, it can be very easy to get caught up in the need for more. We want all the latest and greatest accessories to add to our lives because everyone else has them too! From gadgets, to fashion, to homes, to cars, to .... even babies?&nbsp;</div><div class="r g0"><br /></div><div class="r g0">Lately, it feels like babies are the hottest new accessory and I simply cannot find all the words that describe how uncool with that I am. Pregnancy and babies are all over in the media - celebrity babies are constantly on magazine covers and the whole "getting pregnant and having a baby" thing is glorified to the umpteenth power. Now, please don't get me wrong - having a baby is a beautiful, amazing, glorious thing but it almost feels like it is also the TRENDY thing to do. When did the decision to bring a <span style="color: red;">human being</span> into the world become a trend?&nbsp;</div><div class="r g0"><br /></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6i-fSPSVwNs/T-zCvblpT3I/AAAAAAAACVg/AVQd7tqvkqU/s1600/Collage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6i-fSPSVwNs/T-zCvblpT3I/AAAAAAAACVg/AVQd7tqvkqU/s400/Collage.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some popular celebrity baby magazine covers&nbsp; </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br /><br /><div class="r g0">&nbsp;And please, again, don't get me wrong - these celebrities have the right to celebrate their babies... by all means, go ahead and celebrate! But could this be a fad? Could it be that babies are popular right now, celebrities are interesting so 1+1 equals a gazillion magazines sold?&nbsp; People even has a whole section of their magazine called <a href="http://celebritybabies.people.com/">celebrity babies</a> where you can see who is due next in a handy dandy calendar. I mean, come on people! </div><div class="r g0"><br /></div><div class="r g0">My problem with this - is just like any "must have" accessory that is splashed all over magazine covers, young women everywhere are falling for it and caving into the pressure to get pregnant BEFORE THEY ARE READY.&nbsp;</div><div class="r g0"><br /></div><div class="r g0">Parenting is a lifetime responsibility... the decision to bring a child into this world that you will be providing for - a child who needs to eat (whether you have eaten or not), needs an education (whether you have one or not), needs healthcare (whether you have sick days or not), needs a roof (whether you have a place of your own or not) and unconditional love (whether you are having a good day or not) is a heavy decision to make!&nbsp;</div><div class="r g0"><br /></div><div class="r g0">When I found out I was pregnant, I had been married for almost three years... I was in a healthy, thriving marriage Thank GOD with a wonderful man who works hard and is intelligent and responsible. I had my college degree, I had a stable job, I had a good support system --- <b>I was terrified and did not feel ready.&nbsp; </b>My plan was to wait until I had been married 5 years, to travel, to do a few things first but Aiden was coming regardless.&nbsp;</div><div class="r g0"><br /></div><div class="r g0">Aiden has been the most wonderful surprise of my life... he is better than any plan I have ever made and then some... but parenting is hard, hard work. I&nbsp; have not slept an entire night in 14 months, I have a little person who constantly needs me, and I hardly ever get a moment to myself. Sometimes I cry out of exhaustion and my mommy friends can all attest. It ain't easy!&nbsp;</div><div class="r g0"><br /></div><div class="r g0">I wish that teenagers and young people who read magazines would really think about the severity of becoming a parent before deciding to do so. Being pregnant is "so cute" and babies are treated almost like little dolls and it truly sickens me. I know that sounds severe but when I am constantly hearing news of pregnancies and babies...I can't help but wonder - "do they know how hard it is?"&nbsp; </div><div class="r g0"><br /></div><div class="r g0">Getting prepared for a baby is more than buying a pack-n-play and diaper genie. Getting prepared means being emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially ready to take on this huge responsibility. The biggest job of your life! Being married and self-sustaining, I have found it to be the hardest (and yes, most rewarding) thing I have ever attempted. I could not imagine doing it without a supportive partner, without an income, without a drinking age ID card!&nbsp;</div><div class="r g0"><br /></div><div class="r g0"><b>Disclaimer</b>: I know that teen pregnancies happen... I know many amazing young women (some of my own relatives) who have come up strong from a teen pregnancy, who have been successful, outstanding mothers and have learned from the experience. This is not what I am referring to in this blog post. I am talking about young girls who intentionally make the decision to get pregnant because it is the trendy thing to do.This also does not only apply to teenagers.</div><div class="r g0"><br /></div><div class="r g0">There are so many things that can fill our lives... that can be added to our lives (accessories) to make us have a more rich life experience. But a baby? No, a baby is NOT an accessory. Think about it people, please... just think about it.&nbsp;</div><div class="r g0"><br /></div><div class="r g0"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WS27ibONEPE/T-zPcSyStDI/AAAAAAAACVw/4-deP__slVs/s1600/553260_10151856205995367_1708944256_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WS27ibONEPE/T-zPcSyStDI/AAAAAAAACVw/4-deP__slVs/s400/553260_10151856205995367_1708944256_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">On a lighter note -- No, he is not a fashion accessory but he is cute huh?! LOL</td></tr></tbody></table><br /></div><h3 class="r g0"> </h3>Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-62580632334996013062012-06-25T11:36:00.001-07:002012-06-25T12:11:25.602-07:00I'm not much of a blogger lately...You guys! I have missed blogging so much!!! Where has the time gone? There are a ton of things I have been dying to take out on the keyboard but there has just been no time... no time... until NOW =)<br /><br />So what's been going on with me? I just got back from a family <u><b>vacation </b></u>in California &amp; Arizona. The hubster, the babe, and I went along with my mother for a trip to visit family and go to Disneyland... that sort of thing. I have a niece who is 13 years old now who I hadn't seen in years so that in itself was what made the trip all worth it. We had so much fun hanging out with her and I would totally post pics but since my blog is public and I haven't cleared it with her mom, I won't.<br /><br />Anyway, we left on Friday the 15th and got back yesterday morning. Aiden was such a trooper on the airplane. We had a connecting flight on our way there and a direct flight on the way back. He did great on both with minimal tears. He did get upset a few times because he wanted to get out of his seat but overall he did great. Nursing made the take off and the descending a lot easier on him and we had no issues with discomfort in his ears. Yippee! <br /><br />The entire vacation was pretty much "get up and go" and visiting family I hadn't seen in years which was great. We had my mom along and she is always a tremendous help with the baby but for some reason, he was super clingy to me. The boy did not let me out of his sight. I started calling him "my shadow" because every time I left a room, Aiden would follow. If I went into the bathroom he would knock at the door and since we got back this has not stopped. I do not know what to do about this people! I get it that he was out of his usual environment and lots of people were around... he had an absolute blast with all the kids that were around but so long as I was in eye's reach. <br /><br />Overall it was really a fun week away but I am so exhausted. I need a real LAZY getaway soon with just my hubby and baby. I love my family and everything but sometimes you just need to get away... that plan is in the works already.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fo3j5i3-9e8/T-izl9RXj8I/AAAAAAAACU0/Flo7dxFv1T8/s1600/168547_320405501376352_1729983998_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fo3j5i3-9e8/T-izl9RXj8I/AAAAAAAACU0/Flo7dxFv1T8/s400/168547_320405501376352_1729983998_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We did have a lazy beach day... my two boys enjoyed playing in the sand</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />Besides the vacation, I have been working on another <u><b>writing project</b></u> so the time for blogging has been scarce. I will have to remain vague on this because it is still in the works and writing is sacred to me. But details will come eventually!<br /><br /><u><b>Work </b></u>has been insanely busy... I spent the whole first two weeks of June getting things ready before I left for vacation and now that I am back, I will actually have a lull few days. I have been contemplating my career in the recent month especially in regards to corporate America and office politics. Somehow, my need to pay the bills and provide enough for my family always wins over my need to be happy and fulfilled with my life's work. It is just the work ethic that was engrained in me --<i> you do what you have to do... you commit and stick it through no matter what</i>. I admit, I am growing weary of that approach and am looking for guidance. As I approach my 30's, I know I want to find a way to do what I LOVE while still providing for my family. So far, I have no ideas but if you have any advice, I'd love to hear it. <br /><br />Speaking of what I love...&nbsp; I cannot wait to go back to <u><b>church</b></u>. I missed my church family while I was away immensely and I especially missed the ministry work I am involved in.. I am currently teaching our "connection course" which is a class for newcomers to the church and the new cycle just started a few weeks ago. I taught the whole previous cycle and absolutely LOVED it so I am excited to teach this new one. It is so great to&nbsp; get to know the new people and connect with them in such a unique way. The young adult ministry has also been amazing and I love, love, love those young people. We are going out bowling this weekend and it will be great to just spend time with my YA peeps. Yay! <br /><br />Ok well, that is all for now.. I have lots of topics brewing and posts to come soon on:<br /><br />*Traditions and Faith - when religious traditions are valued more than what REALLY matters<br /><br />* Office Culture-"I'll meet you after 7th period" - have we truly left high school?<br /><br />* Energy Vampires - those who suck the energy out of the room.<br /><br />*Christian Facebook pages - are you a christian or is your facebook page?<br /><br />*Weaning - I think it might be time and I have no idea how to go about it<br /><br />*Summer Plans - We got a membership to the Wildlife Conservation Society and plan to make the most of the hot months in NYC.&nbsp; <br /><br />AND much, much, more... Stay tuned people! I have missed all of you in the blogging world =)<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px currentColor;" /></a><br /><br /><br />Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-73764578642069992962012-05-24T12:10:00.001-07:002012-05-24T12:10:11.263-07:00Sounding Off: Ask me what I REALLY think about "Attachment Parenting"Recently, TIME Magazine had a story about Dr. Sears and attachment parenting... you know the story, the one with "the cover" showing a mom breastfeeding her three year old son while standing on a stool. The image has been plastered everywhere but just in case you haven't seen it..<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RHCTrkzWs8I/T75CmlYL27I/AAAAAAAACRc/U3K-8nXckeo/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RHCTrkzWs8I/T75CmlYL27I/AAAAAAAACRc/U3K-8nXckeo/s400/images.jpeg" width="299" /></a></div><br />I read the article and it is not only about breastfeeding but "attachment parenting". Breastfeeding is one aspect of the attachment parenting method and it is obvious why they chose to play up this particular part of it. My friend Quiana recently posted a blog titled "<a href="http://www.harlemlovebirds.com/2012/05/are-you-gullible-enough.html">Are you Gullible Enough</a>" which really hit the nail on the head as far as describing what my feelings were about the cover. For weeks I've just been sharing her post and did not want to get into anything here on my blog... but those days are over folks!<br /><br />Recently, Anderson Cooper had famous moms Rebbecca Romijn and <a href="http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/mayim">Mayim Bialik</a> on his show to discuss this cover and attachment parenting. I thought his show was very informative and it really brought to light the misconceptions about both sides of the "mommy wars" this cover has sparked. So what is attachment parenting? According to Dr. Sears' <a href="http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/attachment-parenting/what-ap-7-baby-bs">website</a>, it is practicing the "<b>7 Bs" -- Birth Bonding, Breastfeeding, Baby-wearing, Bedding Close by, Beware of Baby Trainers and Balance. </b>Sounds simple enough right? Wrong! Moms everywhere are going nuts over this thing called attachment parenting.<br /><br />Here's what I think -- labels.. I truly hate labels. Why do we as a society feel like we need to label everything and store it neatly in air-tight containers? Especially when it comes to parenting, this is just impossible! I happen to love Dr. Sears' website and it has been an incredibly useful resource for me since I was pregnant with Aiden but by no means do I put myself in the "attachment parenting" category. I am just a mom who tries to follow her instincts and make informed decisions for my son.&nbsp; I read, I research, and at the end of the day I do what I FEEL is right for us. Sometimes, that includes aspects of the attachment parenting method and sometimes it does not.<br /><br />I recently was having a conversation with someone and she chose to make some ignorant comments and pass some pretty mean judgments about my son. Nothing makes you "see red" as a mother more than when someone is speaking negatively about your child and/or your parenting method. Why do people feel they need to tell moms what they are doing wrong and more importantly, why do they need to make it a competition? You get to raise your kids, and I get to raise mine. <br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_gNcgzXLHCI/T76CYHWGRwI/AAAAAAAACRw/ybCMX7viGhw/s1600/mom.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_gNcgzXLHCI/T76CYHWGRwI/AAAAAAAACRw/ybCMX7viGhw/s1600/mom.jpeg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yea, that's right I AM Mom Enough!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />That is exactly what TIME magazine did with this cover -- "Are you Mom Enough?" They made it a competition about how to be the better mom and the sad thing is that moms all over the country fell right into that trap. The picture itself is very misleading about breastfeeding a toddler. The way his hands are dropped down to his sides, his facial expression and the awkward position he is standing in do not correctly represent extended breastfeeding in my opinion. I also think that the way the camera is angled, the way he is standing on that stool and even the clothes he is wearing were all intentionally done to make him look even older than he is.&nbsp; He is 3 years old!<br /><br />For me, I cannot see myself breastfeeding Aiden at 3 years old. My hope is to be completely done with it by his 2nd birthday and that is not because I think it is weird or gross... I simply feel that I selfishly want my boobs back.. I want some freedom, some space and it really is a decision that is all about ME rather than Aiden. And I am OKAY with that. I want to do what is best for him but I will not be a martyr mom either. Sometimes I will do what is best for ME too. Other moms feel just fine with breastfeeding well beyond the 2nd birthday and that is just wonderful in my opinion! There are so many benefits to both mother and baby with extended breastfeeding and if you still think that is crazy than you haven't done enough reading. The longer a mom can breastfeed, the better and baby-led weaning is actually proven to be the more natural, beneficial route. I hope Aiden weans himself but if it doesn't happen by the time he is 2, there will be some "mommy-led" weaning. Ha!<br /><br />So here's what I REALLY think about the different aspects of attachment parenting:<br /><br />1) <b>Drug free birth</b> -- Personally, I think it is kind of insane that women put so much pressure on themselves to labor completely free of pain medication. If men were the ones who gave birth this would never be an issue.. they would take the drugs! But us women, we are a different story. I say, if you can have a drug free birth and feel that is right for you, then go for it! But if you (like me) want to get an epidural, then take care of YOU mama! Delivering vaginally was more important to me than going drug free so at 2am when I was in so much and needed sleep, I got that heavenly epidural. I got some much needed shut-eye and in a few hours I was well rested and ready for the 2 hours of pushing (yes, that's right I had to push for 2 hours) it would take to deliver my child. I truly believe that had I not rested, I would have not had the strength and ultimately been taking in for C-section. I AM GLAD I got the epidural and I would do it again.<br /><br />2) <b>Breastfeeding </b>-- this has truly been the best experience of my life and my proudest accomplishment. It was not easy and there are so many times I wanted to quit. For something so natural, it is also very, very difficult to get the hang of... I really think that every mom should at least try it and really commit for the first several weeks to trying.&nbsp; Breast milk is the ideal food for babies, not man-made formula. Babies find the best possible nourishment and also comfort at the breast. Comfort in my opinion is just as important as nutrition so I do not agree with taking that comfort away from an infant who requires it. We value independence as a society way too much in my opinion. Infants are dependent on their mothers .. toddlers too... and small children... why the rush to make them independent? to make them self-soothe? I truly believe that they will learn that naturally and with time and most importantly at their own pace! Aiden will one day not need me for comfort but I do not think that I need to rush him. 13 months, we are still breastfeeding and I am okay with that. <br /><br />3) <b>Sleeping arrangements</b> -- Mammals sleep close to one another. This goes again with what I stated above about independence. Every child is different, every child has different needs and the best I can say here is -- follow your instincts. I will not put my child down to sleep and let him cry in a room alone. Does that make him spoiled? Again, if you want to label it then go ahead... but I am confident that if he is nurtured and comforted in the way he needs to be, he will eventually grow to be a strong, independent person. He won't be 18 years old and sleeping with me and Daddy..&nbsp; co-sleeping facilities breastfeeding and I personally could not do one without the other. Wake up, turn the light on, walk across the hall and breastfeed in the middle of the night? NO WAY.. with co-sleeping I barely need to open my eyes to get feedings done. This arrangement benefits us both. <br /><br />4) <b>Baby-wearing </b>-- I love wearing Aiden in his Moby wrap.. I love cruising him around in his stroller. I don't think wearing him in a sling constantly is necessary and I certainly put him down when he was newborn. I picked him up, snuggled, him, let him sleep on my chest and all that good stuff but I also put him down. Now that he is walking, he doesn't want to be held period ("Give me freedom!!") and we love that about him. That kid will not be confined!&nbsp; I think the idea of wearing your baby in a sling while doing household chores for example is kind of unnecessary unless of course your baby is hysterical when you put him/her down. Then, I totally get it. Aiden has had moments where he does not want to be put down and rather than let him scream his head off, I will pick&nbsp; him up. I believe in acknowledging his needs and responding to them. It may not be the biggest dilemma in the world but in HIS WORLD it is the biggest thing. I'm going to give that the attention it deserves. I hope I can continue to give him that when he gets made fun of at school, when he doesn't get picked for a team, and when he goes through his first heart break.<br /><br />5) <b>Gentle Discipline </b>-- we aren't really there yet with discipline because a 13 month old just isn't ready to be disciplined but we are starting to teach him about certain boundaries. I want him to know he is safe and that boundaries are necessary to keep him safe. I want to MODEL good behavior so that things like "saying please and thank you" are second nature to him. I do not play to tell him to "sit down and shut up" nor do I plan to spank him. I do not see how hitting a child teaches him not to hit others and I know for a fact that hitting children leaves emotional wounds that last well into adulthood. I cannot tell you the number of&nbsp; adults I have spoken to, who recount stories of being hit as a child and the pain (emotionally) that is caused them. I realize this is controversial and I am not saying that all spanking is child abuse, but I just know so many people who have told me their story of a "spanking" gone too far. I think adults need to learn to be adults and deal with their frustrations...not expect a child to bear the burden of those frustrations.&nbsp; Discipline is about learning and as Aiden gets older I know we will figure out a gentle form of discipline that works for us.<br /><br />6) <b>Balance </b>-- Last but not least! I think this is the key point here. Parenting is about learning how to balance... you read and you get advice and you observe the needs of your child and then you put all of that information through a giant filter and work out what is best for YOUR child. No one knows your child better than you and Mrs. Smith from down the block may swear to you that "if you just get him used to it" or "if you keep trying" that your child will adapt and conform to what you want him to do... but YOU as the parent know better. You know your child's personality, you know your own needs, and you know the culture of your family.&nbsp; If your child is a heavy sleeper, then go ahead and take him out for errands while he naps on the go, if your child is a light sleeper, then go ahead and give him a quiet place to sleep. Don't forget about your needs as a mom, don't forget to take some time for yourself and don't worry about what other people think.<br /><br />No matter what TIME magazine says, or what Dr. Sears says, or what Mrs. Smith from down the block says...&nbsp; YOU ARE MOM ENOUGH and so am I :)&nbsp; So there it is folks.... what I really think about some hot topics in the mommy world lately. Your thoughts/comments are always welcome! <br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px currentColor;" /></a><br /><br /><br />Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-16893251423110459782012-05-23T08:45:00.000-07:002012-05-23T08:45:26.457-07:00Toddlers!Ever since Aiden turned 1, we have entered a totally different realm of babyhood.. we have actually come out of babyhood and entered the realm of (tun, ta ta) TODDLER! And I guess the definition of toddler would be "one who toddles" which he definitely does but it is so much more than that. Ever since his birthday, it's like the clouds have parted and he has discovered the world in a whole new way. It is like he has discovered himself and found his voice (literally and figuratively) and there is just no stopping him now!<br /><br />Aiden is into EVERYTHING! He opens the cabinets, he goes into the toilet, he runs away from us,&nbsp; he knows what we mean when we say NO and has a complete fit if we say it. He falls and bumps his head, cries about it and then gets back up to do the very same thing again -- such a boy!!&nbsp; My favorite is actually when he'll pick something up off the floor and slowly bring it up to his mouth, waiting for one of us to tell him not to eat it.. it is so cute and funny to watch. The thing is, at only 13 months old Aiden is starting to assert himself and his personality is shining through.<br /><br />So far I can tell you that he is a complete jokester - he loves to make us laugh and does so on purpose. He is cuddly and will just run up and give hugs when he feels like it. He is determined - once he sets his mind on a "project" he keeps going until achieving his goal. He is demanding - pay attention to him! And he is vocal about his current state of happiness. He is smart and curious and therefore requires a lot to keep him busy. Books, blocks, toys, music, and yes, ELMO (Sesame Street episodes) are all in full affect when we are at home.&nbsp; He loves to explore and I love watching him discover more about the world around him.<br /><br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/dO6Nj6LOoHA" width="420"></iframe><br /><br />I got some good advice from a friend about letting Aiden explore while still setting up boundaries. He said that it is just better to child-proof everything and create the safest environment possible. "Make it so that you don't have to say NO"&nbsp; and I loved that advice. We still tell Aiden "no" but I do try my best to make his surroundings (at home) safe for him to explore freely. I love that he is a thinker and I want to always cultivate that and encourage it. I feel like constantly keeping him in a play pen or behind a gate just so that I won't have to bother is not the best way to do that. <br /><br />Aiden loves to be outdoors too. He goes to the park almost daily, story time weekly at the library, and I am so excited for the weather warming up because we got a membership to the Bronx Zoo! He just loves to look at things and touch them and he is repeating words like crazy. I know that this is because he gets exposure to so many different things and I love that.&nbsp; When it is necessary for him to be confined, like in the car seat for example, he is NOT happy about it. We've found that playing music in the car and giving him a book helps and even opening his window so he can gaze outside. That will usually settle him down for a car ride. Any additional tips on that are welcome! We have some road trips planned and I will take all the tips I can get!<br /><br />Anyway, so far I really LOVE being mom to a toddler =) He is learning and growing so much and I still have no idea how this has happened so fast?!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gwTbYFBWpmg/T70AyRIiE1I/AAAAAAAACQk/NVGqmnI_NuA/s1600/IMAG0005-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gwTbYFBWpmg/T70AyRIiE1I/AAAAAAAACQk/NVGqmnI_NuA/s400/IMAG0005-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Painting with Daddy... I made this paint from flour and water so he totally ate some and I was OK with it :) </td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-G7s41n4U-qo/T70AzUrnu1I/AAAAAAAACQw/rns-_8eNKFo/s1600/Photo0206.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-G7s41n4U-qo/T70AzUrnu1I/AAAAAAAACQw/rns-_8eNKFo/s400/Photo0206.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Using crayons for the first time!&nbsp;</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--Oa9aN-yq_Y/T70AzB7x02I/AAAAAAAACQs/gP9Rccks7DA/s1600/IMAG0033.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--Oa9aN-yq_Y/T70AzB7x02I/AAAAAAAACQs/gP9Rccks7DA/s400/IMAG0033.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Happy in the car seat - I was making him laugh! </td></tr></tbody></table><br />Sigh... I just love him...&nbsp;&nbsp; any ideas on how else to keep my little man busy? What do you think about setting boundaries for toddlers and giving them space to explore? I would love to hear from you!<br /><br /><br />Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-26803382618860962142012-05-16T10:22:00.000-07:002012-05-16T10:22:54.777-07:00My Mother's Day!!&nbsp;I am going to make this post short and sweet but I needed to write about my Mother's Day! I enjoyed a Guatemalan breakfast and a beautiful church service. I got gorgeous flowers from my hubby and adorable paper flowers at church. I got an awesome Android Tablet from my Mommy and new Converse from my hubby.&nbsp; I spent the day surrounded by LOVE... it was amazing.<br /><br />Here are the top 10 reasons my Mother's Day was PERFECTION: <br /><br /><br />1) Because I woke up late (9:30am) to smells of freshly brewed coffee and a yummy breakfast being prepared... to a baby who had been changed and was playing happily.<br /><br />2) Because a good friend stood over the night before and we stood up chit-chatting until 2am. She was the maker of the yummy breakfast on Mother's Day morning.<br /><br />3) Because my amazing, hero of a man woke up early with the baby and kept him occupied and entertained while I caught some much needed Z's.<br /><br />4) Because that same man got me beautiful flowers, a heartfelt card and a new pair of converse! God bless him for knowing the way to my heart. <br /><br />5) Because I got all dolled up for church and spent the morning worshiping my savior and hanging with my extraordinary church family.<br /><br />6) Because I spent the evening with my sweet boy, and my beautiful mother and grandmother. We had a wonderful visit!<br /><br />7) Because I got so many thoughtful, warm wishes from friends and family ... and they all made me feel so loved and appreciated.<br /><br />8) Because I spent the day EXACTLY the way my heart desired. Around amazing people who lift me up, encourage me as a mother, and constantly bless me with their positive words and genuine care.<br /><br />9) Because I had a day that was care free.. for that I thank my husband who took all my cares into his hands and let me do whatever would make me happy.<br /><br />10) Because I chose to not care about anyone's expectations for just one day. I did what I wanted and what I felt was sincere. I just LET GO of all worries and things "I need to do" or people "I need to see"... I did exactly what I wanted and it felt sooooo good.<br /><br />AND those are the ten reasons why I had the perfect Mother's Day. Sadly, I did not take any pictures because I was too busy having an awesome day. I know that makes me a bad blogger, sorry friends!<br /><br />I hope all the Mommies had an amazing day too - it isn't an easy job and you are all so loved and appreciated!! <br /><br />XO,<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px currentColor;" /></a>Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-20841684269283102062012-05-11T11:31:00.001-07:002012-05-11T11:32:10.189-07:00Mother's Day Week: My Best Friend, My Mommy ...She has taught me what it means to love unconditionally... to love sacrificially... to always forgive ... to be strong and courageous ...&nbsp; My mom is my super-hero!<br /><br />For most of my life, it was just the two of us... we usually shared a room and I remember countless nights spent snuggled in bed with a bowl of cereal watching a good chick flick. My mom has always been my best friend. She held me up during the most difficult times in my life.<br /><br />When I came home with a broken heart, she listened to me recount the whole story and let me cry on her shoulder. She never judged me for my imperfections or turned her back on me when other people did...&nbsp; she was always there, arms wide open and she still is.<br /><br />When I became a mother, my bond with my own mom only got stronger. I could finally understand the way she loves me and I could finally share that feeling with her. During labor and my difficult recovery, my mom's presence was like a Godsend. She was as she has always been throughout my life -- she was my rock.<br /><br />I think she is the most beautiful, kind, strong, fierce woman I know... she cries during sappy movies and when her car breaks down, she doesn't pull out her cell phone -- she gets out and looks under the hood! She is soft and nurturing but she is also tough and a force to be reckoned with.<br /><br />I will always treasure our times together... our long talks, our times watching Lifetime movies or singing along with the radio in the car... on this Mother's day, I just want to say that I am so grateful for the amazing woman who is my mommy.. and I am beyond blessed to have her in my life. She is the best mom to me and grandma to my son .. and I simply could not be where I am without her.<br /><br />Mommy, I love you so much.. Happy almost Mother's Day!<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EbQ5WPOuV-Y/T61agz_UiWI/AAAAAAAACLc/102_l5XqXp0/s1600/Lamboys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EbQ5WPOuV-Y/T61agz_UiWI/AAAAAAAACLc/102_l5XqXp0/s400/Lamboys.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Lamboys =) She is the glue that has held us together</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px currentColor;" /></a>Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-50176583739355121122012-05-08T07:46:00.000-07:002012-05-08T07:46:07.525-07:00Mother's Day Week: Selfishness gets a Reality Check<h3> <b>&nbsp;<span class="huge">As selfishness and complaint pervert the mind, so love with its joy clears and sharpens the vision.</span><span class="bodybold"> --Helen Keller </span></b></h3><br /><br />&nbsp;This weekend is Mother's Day and I have lots of thoughts and feelings about it so I think I will write about them in a series of posts. Two, maybe three leading up to Mother's Day and of course a recap of how my celebrations went!<br /><br />Something I've really been thinking about though has been <b>selfishness</b>. And not the kind that people usually talk about. Not the self-centered, narcissistic, lack of empathy kind that you immediately know is wrong. While that kind of selfishness certainly is out there, it isn't the kind that has me thinking. No, I'm thinking about our basic needs and desires .. the "selfishness" we exhibit on a daily basis by simply fulfilling those wants and needs.<br /><br />There are times every single day, where I have put my own needs above other people. This is not something that anyone would say is wrong it is simply necessary. For example: if I have not had lunch and am hungry, but my friends want to go out I will say "I need to eat first". I have a basic need to fulfill and currently, that need goes above what others may want. You wouldn't normally call that selfishness, but according to the definition it does qualify. Sometimes it is necessary to put our own needs on the front lines.. it is prioritizing those needs along with the needs of others that can get tricky. Most people struggle with this in one way or another and I am sure you can think of times when you thought you needed to "take care of yourself" but took that a little too far. That is where selfishness overpowers empathy and consideration for others. That is where it can ugly!<br /><br />Since I became a mom, I have been amazed at how quickly my selfishness has been cut out of the picture. There is simply no room for it anymore .. My basic needs and desires that I had once put on the front lines, have taken a back seat to the needs and desires of someone else and in every possible way imaginable! When my son needs something, there is no telling him "I need to eat first" or even "I need to use the bathroom first" --- now that's a reality check!<br /><br />My basic needs for sleep, food, warmth, shelter, can all be met AFTER I have met them for Aiden. I'm sure many moms can relate when they think of the times they couldn't take a shower or had to scarf down a bowl of cereal because the baby needed them. Well, what has that done for your selfishness?<br /><br />For me, it has caused me to see the world through completely different eyes. It has changed the way I relate to people, it has changed my reaction to news or even a sad movie.. it has changed my tolerance for others and the depth of my relationships. More importantly, it has caused me to see myself through different eyes. When I am willing to wipe the slate clean and put every&nbsp; need and desire away to take care of my son, when I look at him and know that I would give up my very own life for him, I can see myself through eyes that are not my own.<br /><br />My selfishness has changed since becoming a mother and that transition has not always been easy...&nbsp; Sometimes a long shower or a trip to the nail salon has helped to balance things out.. but still, there is nothing that could be more important than taking care of that little boy of mine.. knowing he is happy and healthy is more than I could ever hope for.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px currentColor;" /></a>Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7589379155653290966.post-82103444478946775042012-05-03T09:13:00.000-07:002012-05-03T09:13:23.901-07:00I'm NOT a "shoe girl"...Most of my blogging tends to cover topics like - marriage/babies/family, spirituality, friendship, current events, literature, film, and the occasional (not so occasional) rant about whatever frustrates me at the moment. Blogging is an excellent way to just get things off my chest or work through something I am pondering ... lately, I have not had much time to take to my blog and for those who follow and have missed me - I apologize! I have been very, very busy with work and with life and I have not had a moment to sit down and write about life. So I am making some time right now and guess what kind of post I have for ya? It is a post about SHOES. I know, I know, I hardly ever write about fashion except for saying that I wish someone would nominate me to be on "What Not to Wear" (Go ahead, sign me up I won't be offended)<br /><br />Thing is, I am really not very fashionable... I don't have "a style", I just kind of wear what makes me feel comfortable. I have had some of my clothes for far too long and since I fluctuate so much between sizes 2-4-6-8 (who do we appreciate!!) nothing seems to fit me properly. This is why I DREAM of being on What Not to Wear. I want Stacy and Clinton to make me throw out all the crap in my closet and really set me straight. After my pregnancy, I have lost a bunch of weight and am actually thinner than I was pre-pregnancy so now I have no idea what to do. I have a bunch of old clothes and nothing really fits right. I need about 5 pairs of new jeans at least and thanks to breastfeeding, most of my tops are stretched out so it is time for a whole new wardrobe.<br /><br /><br /><br />Since I don't have that kind of money, I have decided to slowly purge my closet of items that are just plain useless and buy a couple key things that might make me feel better. I will try to update on how that is going since I completely lack fashion sense but when going through my closet last night, I realized that even OLDER and outdated than my clothes are... MY SHOES!<br /><br />I am just not a shoe girl... most women I know just LOVE to buy shoes and I actually kind of dread it. I don't enjoy the process of trying shoes on and pairing them with outfits.. and most of all, I hate to be uncomfortable in my shoes and it seems like the only shoes that are pretty are the uncomfortable ones. I inherited the "bad feet jean" from my grandmother and have always struggled with pain in my feet. I've got no arch (flat) feet and that has caused a bunch of other issues and I really, really just wish I can go barefoot. <br /><br />For someone who prefers comfortable shoes you would think that I live in sneaks right? WRONG. I also do not like sneakers. Most sneakers just feel so heavy on my feet but more than that, I was raised wearing dresses/skirts every single day and never really felt like sneakers went with my dresses. This was before I discovered how much I love Converse sneakers which I think totally go with dresses. I still regret not wearing a pair of sparkly Converse slip-ons for my wedding.<br /><br />I have a shoe dilemma don't I? but please, don't get it wrong - I DO WEAR SHOES. Here are some of my favorites:<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1YtmxWipDYs/T6KqavhwpGI/AAAAAAAACGM/wMDekkgyfdM/s1600/j-crew-italian-childs-ballet-flat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1YtmxWipDYs/T6KqavhwpGI/AAAAAAAACGM/wMDekkgyfdM/s320/j-crew-italian-childs-ballet-flat.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ballet flats! I actually have a polka dot pair just like these from J.Crew&nbsp;</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uQCU_w2pbQ0/T6Kq4ik992I/AAAAAAAACGU/NZGxy6thBpY/s1600/loafers.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uQCU_w2pbQ0/T6Kq4ik992I/AAAAAAAACGU/NZGxy6thBpY/s1600/loafers.jpeg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Loafers! I have a really cute navy pair from Delia's that I love</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0Z0q19_KRpI/T6KsCi8lMVI/AAAAAAAACGc/A6wLboveJG8/s1600/gladiators.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0Z0q19_KRpI/T6KsCi8lMVI/AAAAAAAACGc/A6wLboveJG8/s1600/gladiators.jpeg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gladiator Sandals - I have a few pairs in different colors&nbsp;</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1DQ7nU6yoZQ/T6KsMaizlTI/AAAAAAAACGk/QcHBkHYbWzo/s1600/flip+flops.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1DQ7nU6yoZQ/T6KsMaizlTI/AAAAAAAACGk/QcHBkHYbWzo/s1600/flip+flops.jpeg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My 2nd favorite type of footwear... FLIP FLOPS! I mean, come on, they are so easy and I love getting all colors from Old Navy.&nbsp;</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><br />As you can see... comfort is&nbsp; my main thing when it comes to shoes... so if flip-flops are my second favorite type of footwear, what is my first?? I'm surprised you haven't guessed it by now ---<br /><br />UGGS!!! I don't care if you think they look ugly.. lol.. they are cute. Recently Victoria Beckham said she would never be caught wearing Uggs in public and I wanted to send her all kinds of hate mail. Listen Victoria, they are comfy and functional and lots of beautiful ladies wear them.&nbsp; <br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WemDMQQUw-M/T6KsttVZDxI/AAAAAAAACGs/LRGv69nqpAQ/s1600/megan-fox-ugg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WemDMQQUw-M/T6KsttVZDxI/AAAAAAAACGs/LRGv69nqpAQ/s320/megan-fox-ugg.jpg" width="171" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Megan Fox.. yep, that is the hot chic from Transformers </td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cZcnpNLVrGY/T6KsuM0HX7I/AAAAAAAACGw/O8w2_PMJocg/s1600/sarah-jessica-parker-uggs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cZcnpNLVrGY/T6KsuM0HX7I/AAAAAAAACGw/O8w2_PMJocg/s320/sarah-jessica-parker-uggs.jpg" width="171" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SJP! Can you say "Sex and the City"?? </td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tcjYIr8nXhQ/T6KsueMr9DI/AAAAAAAACG4/NEdq3N9rCcc/s1600/tina-fey-uggs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tcjYIr8nXhQ/T6KsueMr9DI/AAAAAAAACG4/NEdq3N9rCcc/s320/tina-fey-uggs.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tina Fey - there is no one cooler than her </td></tr></tbody></table>So now let me get back to the reason I started writing this post. I just bought myself a new pair of shoes and I THINK they might soon take a place in April's top 3 choices for footwear. They are comfy, they are adorable and they are available in all colors. They are the perfect "non-shoe girl" shoe and I am so excited...<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZGNuuQsRx5E/T6KtzU3x_QI/AAAAAAAACHE/6CrJ0ZVvn6Q/s1600/toms.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="237" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZGNuuQsRx5E/T6KtzU3x_QI/AAAAAAAACHE/6CrJ0ZVvn6Q/s400/toms.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">TOM's! I ordered a black pair </td></tr></tbody></table><br />I will test these Tom's shoes out and see how they measure up but so far it is looking good!<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img <="" body="" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/138/45E6A053AA602688C5AE9670EF91A9EE.png" style="border: 0px currentColor;" /></a>Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07496971390734563516noreply@blogger.com1