Well-written, and very useful... I like very much. It's great fun thinking up reasons for traps to be there and so on, and they also make the traps that bit more unusual and memorable (if the PCs survive) than a "covered pit with monster" trap. :) Go to Comment

Ouch indeed... I can imagine that would be painful. Why would such a trap be built? Is something being concealed, or are we simply dealing with an unusually antisocial wizard or something? Go to Comment

Thanks! ^_^ I got the idea years ago, thinking that it might be some sort of curse (imagine not being able to sleep for weeks on end!). I got some of the effects from an experiment a while back where volunteers were deprived of sleep for days and days, and the effects on them were monitored. They got tired (predictably), then delusional, and I think the presumption was that they would eventually have gone mad. When they at last were allowed to sleep, they were dead to the world for something like 24 hours, then they were all right again.

The 'wearing off process' can be as easy or as torturous as you like: that's just an idea of how it might go. It would depend on a PC's metabolism anyway.

*cringe* Sorry, it was the 'give that man a sugar lump (or a Jenny Green leaf if he prefers)'. I guess so many people on the Internet have mistaken me for a boy that I sometimes expect people to. Go to Comment

I looked at this, saw: "His left arm is made of Tylios metal, and has a retractble mini crossbow on it", and laughed as I was instantly reminded of some of the stories my little brother used to write. ^_^

I agree with MoonHunter: he needs more motivation, more explaination, more weaknesses, and more page-breaks. Why did his mother abandon him? Why was he driven to stealing? Why is he so strong and gymnastic and uber-powerful? Those kind of details, along with probably a bit more humanising of the character so that he can be emphasised with, will probably bring your quality rocketing up. :-)

By the way, what is a dragoon? It makes me think of a kind of aquatic dragon, but I usually get that kind of thing wrong. Go to Comment

*ahem* Anyways, nice idea! I like how it's defensive /and/ offensive. :-) However-- if Radagast wanted 'a brave soul' to find the shield, why did he chuck it in an underground lake? Seems to me it'd be more sensible to go out and find said soul, and give them the shield. Maybe he wanted people to have to go through the trial of searching and journeying to reach it, before they merited it or could handle it...? Go to Comment

Thanks for all the comments and suggestions! I am editing it on Word at home to make it more detailed and interesting. So as soon as I get home I will finish it and put it in the description. One question: should I put down its history right to the present day? Only it kind of gets destroyed. Go to Comment

Wow, I love this-- I'm quite a fan of mind-affecting stuff, and the Crown is brilliant, and rather scary. I agree with Echo: it is kind of 'the One Crown'! ^_^ I understand and second your comment about a ruler with the Pier Point Crown and the 'Gift of the Gods' sword-- now, that would be a force to be reckoned with. O.o Perhaps the sword and the demon would fight each other for domination of the person's mind? Go to Comment

Wow, this is a wonderful plot idea-- I love how all the characters have their own, original motives other than simple gain. :-) I also love the 'infantcide vrs genocide' dilemma-- that adds a whole new dimension to it. ^_^ 5/5! Go to Comment