Searching for the Silver Lining

About Me

I am 35 years old, happily married for 14 years and the mother of an 11 year old son. I am a public school teacher and love working with teenagers. I also have 2 Border Collies. I truly love Jesus and try to walk with Him everyday.

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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

If my family were allowed to write on this blog, they would tell you that I am less agreeable today than most other days. I feel a bit frazzled and stressed. I'm snippy and impatient. I feel a little sorry for them but mostly I feel sorry for myself. Afterall, I am the person who WANTS TO CRAWL OUT OF HER SKIN! And yes, this is PMS week. So, I am looking forward to next week when I might feel better. My family meanwhile is looking forward to my lobotomy.

I did finally see the endocrinologist today for my lab results. Everything was normal except for my testosterone level. It was zero. One website I looked at says women should be between 15-70. Why is testosterone important? In the right amount, it provides energy, faster metabolism, the ability to build muscle, a general sense of well-being, and sex drive. If Hubs. was writing this, he would have placed sex drive first in the list. He would probably write it in ALL CAPS too. I don't think he was surprised to hear that my blood level was nada. Anyway, beginning tomorrow morning, I will dissolve a tiny testosterone tablet on my tongue. I wonder if I'll be in lingerie tomorrow night? Nah, I don't want to disrupt the status quo. We need to save up our romantic energy for Friday night when we will be celebrating our 14th anniversary.

On a completely different topic, I saw this organization idea for gloves, hats, & scarves, and I actually went to Walmart, purchased one, brought it home, and SET IT UP! This is a big deal. Usually I am full of good intentions and no follow through. Additionally, I purchased a Crock-Pot and have a meal cooking right now! Imagine what I will be capable of once my testerone is above zero. Woo- Hoo!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Finally, we have returned home after 3 1/2 days with my parents helping out after Dad's surgery. Everything went very well and we enjoyed a relaxing time out in the country. The dogs destroyed coleus and flowers but there weren't any skunks this time - yea! No skunk smell in the car all the way home! One of the cows had a calf the day before we arrived, so we had fun going out each evening to check on them. Drew discovered the joys of intense sunlight, a magnifying glass, and some scrap 2 x 4. Even the intense mid-day heat couldn't keep him from sitting outside burning his name or chasing ants. I made full use of the kitchen and succeeded in keeping everyone fed. The worst thing about this trip was the heat. It was above 100 everyday!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

You have been forewarned. I am cranky today. More like CRANKYYYYYYYYY. I stopped taking birth control 2 days ago because I had suspicions it was making me tired and nauseous. Confirming my suspicions, I oozed with energy and greatness yesterday. Today, I am going through serious estrogen withdrawal. All of my weird body aches have returned as well...achy back, terrible achiness in my left wrist, and my super tense neck muscles. My family is frightened despite my apologies and attempts at calm responses. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I can start taking it again and be tired, nauseous but calm mommy. Or I can try to tough it out for another week before I go to the endocrinologist and get started with a program to straighten this mess out. (I had an appt. for tomorrow but had to reschedule due to Dad's shoulder surgery.) I think I'm going to get back on it. Otherwise, I'll be a real bear with my parents while I am helping out as Dad recuperates from surgery. I wish I didn't have to wait to get those results.

Meanwhile, I am in the midst of laundry and packing for our stay with Mom and Dad. We leave tonight after rush hour diminishes. I don't have any expectations other than Mom warned me that Dad is a whiny patient...maybe that is where I get it from. I'm worried about staying on my South Beach eating plan and keeping Drew quietly entertained. He is so used to us going out on the boat. I just don't know how he will do without that activity.

I cooked Tilapia yesterday on my George Foreman grill, and it turned out beautiful. It was super simple. I squeezed lemon juice and then sprinkled the fish with Weber Grill Creations Zesty Lemon Seasoning. It took 2-3 minutes to cook, and I was ready to eat. Yum-yum.

Monday, July 28, 2008

So, it's been over a year since I have posted anything. Honestly, once school started up, I didn't have time to breathe much less write a blog. And, I got a little stressed and overwhelmed trying to think up stuff to write. But that's silly. This is my space and it's all for me. I can write when I want and set it on the shelf when I am too busy.

It seems like years since I was inspired to dream. I think that my greatest aspiration was to marry and give birth. Once I accomplished those two goals, I was left in la-la-limbo-land. Recently through the world of blogs I have discovered little wishes bubbling up. Thanks to the amazingly creative Nester, I want to redo my nest. I also want to expand my cooking menu beyond meatloaf, tacos, spaghetti and lasagna. So, I've been spending time at A Year of CrockPotting. I haven't tried any of her recipes yet, but it does motivate me to gather up some courage and take a risk.

Risk taking. As a child, I took risks all the time and rarely considered possible outcomes. I saw a tree and knew that I could climb it. I looked at the high dive and never doubted I could leap off of it with everyone watching. But somewhere along the way, after falling from trees and enduring painful belly-flops, I stopped taking risks. After all, it's safer to stay on the ground or sit with my feet in the pool. Guess what...it's also safely BORING! And boring can be okay too, but after several years it's time for me to shake things up a bit. Because you never get to experience the bird's eye view or the tiny thrill of falling through the air, if you always play it safe.

Friday, July 13, 2007

It was an exciting night around here on Tuesday. A new Dirty Jobsepisode with Mike Rowe aired and it was all about The Snake Farm in New Braunfels, TX. We had seen the teaser a week earlier and there was much discussion about The Snake Farm. Was it the same venue I had visited many years ago? If not, wouldn't it be strange that somewhere else in the United States there is a need for a snake farm? Lyrics from the song "Snake Farm" by Ray Wylie Hubbard repeated themselves in our heads. We haven't been this excited about a tv episode since...okay just since May but it has been a really WET summer and the tv has been awful even when you have access to 400+ channels. Anyway, the family that rarely eats meals all together at the table managed to all gather into the living room at the same time. (See, Scott and I are really amazing parents; we know how to make the most of quality family time.)

Turns out, it was the same Snake Farm I visited back in 1991. However, new owners have taken over and made some much needed updates. It needed help when I saw it. I can only imagine that 16 years later, the State Health Dept. was prepared to step in and rescue the reptiles. The couple who own it now, are young and sweet. I hope it works out for them. I'm guessing the entrance fee is more than $1.25 now.

You might be wondering why this tourist attraction made for a great episode of Dirty Jobs. Just like any other living creature, snakes eat, breathe, and excrete. Mike was there to move snakes and clean up cages. In addition to snakes, they have alligators too. He had the pleasure of draining their pond, removing obstinate alligators and turtles, and then power washing the bottom. His life was truly in danger when catching rattlesnakes and gators. Fortunately, Mike lived to tell the tale and we will benefit from more episodes.

If this has piqued your interest in the show, it airs on the Discovery Channel on Tuesdays. It's educational, funny, and somehow usually manages to involve poop (that alone draws the kids in). As a plus, the host has blue eyes and an appealing rugged look. Basically, there is something for everyone.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Drew's 10th birthday is Thursday, July 12th and the celebration has begun. We visited Waxahachie this past weekend to honor me, Drew, and Rhonda because we are all summer babies. Rhonda is a long-time family friend/relative. Fortunately, the rain stayed far away so we could enjoy the great outdoors. Drew received some new inline skates and took advantage of the extensive patio/driveway areas to test them out. And we definitely ate CAKE! It was lots of fun to visit with family and relax out in the country.

We are struggling this year with choosing a birthday present. Drew can't think of anything he wants except for the skates that he already received. Today when I brought the subject up again, he said that his trip to Main Event with a couple of friends on Thursday is really what he wants the most. I think it is so sweet that he values time with friends. Hopefully, the boys will have a great time bowling and playing laser tag.

He has another party to attend on Sunday and then we are off to South Padre. What a dreamy life for a 10 year old!

Monday, July 2, 2007

Scott and Drew finally arrived home from the Oklahoma family reunion yesterday afternoon. My mother-in-law and I were going to drive up Saturday morning, but the doom and gloom newscasters on tv convinced us it would be much safer to stay under our own roofs. Of course, the forecasts were a little dramatic and we could have made the drive just fine. Ironically, the reunion did not get rained on at all. Now, everyone claims that we will use any excuse to avoid attending the reunion. This is just a lie. I have many sleepless nights throughout the year in eager anticipation of sleeping in a big room with bunk beds and sharing a community restroom. It was raining cats and dogs here, I promise.

To follow up on the Walmart purchases, the guys did not get to use the Sponge Bob golf balls because the soggy golf course was closed to carts. Walkers were welcome, but I guess the men are not as manly as I previously thought. I don't blame them though. Eighteen holes is a pretty long hike especially without beer girls.

We have often believed that our son needs counseling. I'm not sure if it is because he is an only child and only grandchild on both sides of the family or because the lunacy genes run pretty thick on my side. Anyway, the issue now is co-dependency. When he travels without me, he gets a nervous stomach. Nevermind that he is with his father and grandfather; momma is not here. Nothing like being at the family reunion with people you only see once or twice a year and puking. I fear that he will never be able to go to camp or vacation with a friend's family because he needs his mom. Then there is that tiny piece of me that loves the fact he needs me and I am special to him. Maybe I can get a discount on the counseling since there are two of us with issues...

On the plus side, Scott did give him Tums and prevented him from consuming junk food. By Sunday, Drew was all better thanks to his tender loving care.

Last night Drew mentioned that he is so miserably bored this summer that he would rather be in school. I commiserated with him and said I am so bored I am tempted to go buy a can of paint and start painting the inside of the house. He got excited and said, "that's a great idea. We could have a lot of fun painting." Luckily, I talked him into a bike ride and a trip to the skating rink today. We've also been working on a cross-stitch of a dog that is designed for kids but really needs an adult involved at every step. He told me today that cross-stitch is a lot more fun than he originally expected. (I don't feel a bit guilty about getting him involved in a feminine craft. We all need counseling as adults and I wouldn't be doing my job as a mother if I didn't give him a few issues to work out.)

Now I have to plan tomorrow. Drew asks for an itinerary each morning after his video game and cartoons and I want to be one step ahead.