Luciano: Medical marijuana for man's best friend?

Zoiks! As Illinois gets ready for medical marijuana, get ready for stoned dogs.

That’s what has happened in states that have approved medicinal weed. Fido and Rover bust into prescription stash and get all Scooby-Doo. Rooby-rooo!

Meanwhile, a growing contingent of pet owners and veterinarians are advocating the use of medical marijuana for animals. So, as Illinois doctors prepare to start prescribing medical marijuana to people, maybe impending dispensaries ought to think ahead and install doggy dogs, too.

Think that sounds crazy? Look west, young pot-head.

In Arizona, media are reporting skyrocketing veterinary-clinic reports of people bringing in pets — mostly dogs — who have ingested medical marijuana. The increase — once a rarity, now two dozen a month at one clinic — comes 16 months after Arizona opened its first dispensary.

The same thing happened after Colorado first allowed medical maryjane, in 2000. Now, in the wake of recreational weed’s legalization there on Jan. 1, Colorado vet clinics again are seeing a boost in what some media call “stoner dogs.” Pooches are especially fond of pot-infused confections. As one vet told the CBS station in Denver, “What we are seeing is dogs getting into the baked products.”

Baked products, baked dogs. Wow, man.

Now, you might be wondering, “Why is it mostly dogs?” For one, and this is just my guess, dogs are stupid, especially where their stomachs are concerned. Whereas cats are finicky, dogs eat anything.

Further, stoners also are stupid. They’re not always attuned to where their pot — or their future, or their lives — are at. If they leave out their weed, their dogs get nosey — then stoned. Plus, I’d bet more than one Shaggy-like dog owner might gleefully share his stash, lest a canine pal disparage him as a bogart. Because, for sure, stoners listen to their dogs.

(By the way, before anyone starts scrawling hate mail, I realize medical-marijuana users aren’t what we typically deem as “stoners.” Plus, if Rx pot is expensive and strong — like, seriously and medicinally good bud — is anyone going to waste it on a dog? No way. That’s what cheap beer is for.)

Here’s a big question: is it dangerous for pets to ingest pot? Studies differ, according to multiple mainstream media reports. An Associated Press story quoted a respected West Coast veterinarian as saying that many dogs don’t take well to marijuana: “hallucinogenic reactions may make dogs wobbly on their legs, raise their pulse and cause dribbly urine.” In other words, they act just like many pot-heads.

Others call marijuana a wonder drug for pets. According to the AP, advocates in the pot-for-pets movement say old or ailing pets who take cannabis usually experience an immediate boost in appetite and relief from pain. In Denver, Jessica LeRoux of Twirling Hippy Confections — yes, for real — told the AP that she made custom treats that helped extend the life of her last service dog, a black Lab-border collie mix named Thor.

“I got the 15th year out of that relationship because of the product I made for him,” she said.

So, what can Illinois expect? Good question. The medical-marijuana law strictly spells out uses for only certain diseases, and none for dogs or other pets. In other words, vets cannot write prescriptions here — yet. But there’s a growing discussion about the possibility.

“We certainly are hearing the questions about whether this is something that can be used in veterinary medicine,” says David Kirkpatrick, spokesman for the American Veterinary Medical Association, based in Schaumburg. “And we are talking about it. But as yet, we have no official position on this.”

Still, the AVMA, which has 84,000 members nationwide, is open to hearing more about the idea.

“We certainly would welcome any study — any scientific study — that would determine the efficacy in medical marijuana,” Kirkpatrick says. “There are certainly veterinarians who are urging it to be studied.”

For the most part, he says, the discussion has centered on using pot to aid dogs. Why? My guess — not his — is that people see dogs as human, far more than, say, a cat. Thus, dog owners might be more willing to try their own un-scientific studies by feeding weed to their sick hounds. Plus, if a cat gets stoned, how can you tell? What will it do, stare intently for hours on end? You mean, like always?

Still, some cat owners nationally — along with a few horse owners — claim their animals have benefited from marijuana. But, that’s pretty much the scope as far as pot-for-pets goes; it’s not as if, for example, gerbils are getting high.

He says the AVMA is keenly aware of the upswing in weed ingestion by dogs in other states after medical-marijuana dispensaries started operation. Pet owners need to be vigilant.

“We certainly are concerned about what that means for the pet,” Kirkpatrick says. “Whenever there is access to pharmaceuticals, and when you have a dog in the house that gets his nose into everything, that’s bound to happen.”

Indeed, if curiosity killed the cat, it certainly might get dogs stoned.

“From what I understand, (marijuana) is quite aromatic,” Kirkpatrick says. “So it probably would attract a dog.”

PHIL LUCIANO is a Journal Star columnist. He can be reached at pluciano@pjstar.com, facebook.com/philluciano, 686-3155 or (800) 225- 5757, Ext. 3155. Follow him on Twitter @LucianoPhil.

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