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6 things you should do following a break up

Break ups can be difficult for everybody. You’ve
been with that someone special for a very long time and then all of a sudden
what you once had with that particular person is tossed out the window. It can
be even more difficult when you’ve been friends with the person before you even
decided to start a relationship with that person and coming to terms with
potentially losing a friend as well as a break up can be just as difficult.

I am no expert when it comes to relationships, I
have no qualifications. But what I do have is experience and a shoulder to cry
on. I’ve learnt from my mistakes and hope to carry these lessons on with me the
next time I find my heart throbbing from loss.

So today I am giving a few tips about things you
should and shouldn’t do once your relationship has terminated. I hope that some
of these tips will help you feel better and let me assure you that you are not
alone in this situation, there are so many others who have gone through the
exact same thing.

6 things
you should do after a break up

Relationships are not like clockwork. Not every relationship
is the same. Not every relationship ends amicably and not everybody wants to be
a friends once the relationship has ended. The one thing that most
relationships have in common is that things can be tough following a break up.
It may not take its toll immediately, sooner or later you’re very likely to
find yourself feeling sad about what has ended.

The key thing to focus on is moving on and making
yourself feel better. You should be your main priority at this very fragile
time. Hopefully some of these tips will be a stepping stone in the right
direction.

1.Don’t yell, beg or plead

The end
of a relationship is tough for a lot of people and it can make people upset,
angry and reactive. You may behave slightly abnormally because of your anger
and sadness. I like to think of this as a switch in our brains that turns on as
soon as a break up occurs. Although it’s difficult, we must try to refrain from
yelling, begging or pleading with our exes. It is the reaction your ex will
expect from you and it will make you appear weak. You need to take some time
for yourself to cool off as shouting, begging and pleading are just going to do
more harm than good.

2.Stay out of contact with
your ex for a period of at least 30 days

This
coping mechanism has to be one of the best in my opinion. The quote “out of
sight, out of mind” really comes to mind when I think about it. Staying out of
contact for a while is really a great idea when you break up with somebody. It
gives you time to focus on yourself and not act irrationally as soon as the
relationship ends. From personal experience, I found that it really helped me
to acknowledge how I was feeling and just let it float in my mind rather than
get angry about it.

With social media having a significant presence in the lives
of millennials, it can be hard to stay out of contact with their ex. But there’s
messenger tools that can block them from messaging you or block them from
appearing online. If you find yourself heading to their Facebook profile
slightly too often, it might be time to consider unfriending or blocking them.
Remember the aim is to move on and get over them, not to dwell on the past.

If your ex is a vicious, horrible person you are probably
better off without them and should stay out of contact with them permanently.
However, if you want to be friends again, you can begin by writing them an
amicable message just as long as you’re feeling better than you did originally
following the break up.

3.Do something for yourself

As I
stated earlier in this post, you should be your top priority following a break
up and I would highly recommend doing something for yourself. Start a new
hobby, buy a swanky new outfit or change your look completely with a brand new
hair style. Whatever you choose to do, it is bound to put a smile on your face
and give you that much needed lift.

4.Start seeing new people

Seeing
people straight away isn’t the brightest of ideas. We all know that those
rebound relationships will finish as quickly as they begin. It’s a pretty
common method people use to ‘try to get over their ex’ and can sometimes result
in them feeling even worse once that rebound fails.

However, once you’re starting to feel a bit better about the
whole break up, seeing new people is something you should begin to consider. You
want to go into something new with confidence rather than concern so it is
important that you begin to see new people when you start to make a turnaround
about this whole break up. You know that feeling you get when you begin to
regret breaking up and want to get back together with your ex? That doesn’t
necessarily mean you’re still in love with your ex, it just means that you
crave love which is something you associate with your ex because you used to
love them. So join a new club or do something that’ll get you out and meeting
new people. Eventually, luck will be on your side and you won’t even think
about your ex when you hear the word “love”.

5.Take a break

Traveling
is one of my passions, I absolutely adore it. Taking a break somewhere always
has me returning content and refreshed. Straight after a break up is a perfect
time to go away and forget about your problems for a little while. You can deal
with them later. You don’t even need to go abroad to take a break, there are
probably dozens of nice places a short drive away from you. The world is your
oyster.

6.Try to see the positives
in your life

So your
relationship has ended and that is pretty shitty. Just remember that there is
so much more in your life that you have to be grateful for. Try making a list
of reasons why you deserve to be happy and it’ll change your perspective. You’ll
see things on a larger scale and realise that you still have plenty of fruitful
things in your life such as your youth, health, friends and family.

Most
of us have been in a similar situation in the past and are probably familiar
with the way you are feeling. Remember that the pain won’t last forever and in
time, you’ll forget why you were moping about all the time. It may take a
couple of weeks or a few months, just trust me, you’ll get there.

If
you ever need someone to talk to about this stuff, I am always available
through twitter or through my blog’s email which is left on the side bar.

I
really hope that this post helps some of you that may be going through this.
This is just another challenge that will be conquered.

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