“After the Manchester Arena bombing and the Vegas concert shooting, I was completely terrified to go on tour this time because I didn’t know how we were going to keep 3 million fans safe over seven months,” the 29-year-old admitted during an interview with Elle about 30 things she’s learned before turning 30. She noted, “There was a tremendous amount of planning, expense and effort put into keeping my fans safe.”

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Her tour went off without a hitch but the pop star still lives with extreme caution. She divulged, “My fear of violence has continued into my personal life. I carry QuikClot army grade bandage dressing, which is for gunshot or stab wounds.”

The “Dress” singer explained that so much of her private information is public knowledge (for example her home address) and it takes a toll on her mentally. “You get enough stalkers trying to break into your house and you kind of start prepping for bad things.”

How does one of the world’s biggest celebrities deal with all the stress? She tries to stay positive and not let her worries get the best of her. “Every day I try to remind myself of the good in the world, the love I’ve witnessed and the faith I have in humanity. We have to live bravely in order to truly feel alive, and that means not being ruled by our greatest fears,” the songstress said.