Friday, December 22, 2006

The Pope vs. The AntiChrist

Adversaries in both religion and Guess the Plots. But one of these plots was real.

1. Geraldo Rivera refuses to give up his obsessive quest to expose the Pope and Osama Bin Laden as Friday night drinking buddies.

2. Senator Blake Johansen suspects his son may be the Antichrist, so he shaves the boy's head to check for the mark of the beast. To his relief, all he sees on the naked scalp is the number 999.

3. A longtime nun begins to question her life's choices when she falls in love with a man on a visit to Rome, a man who proves to be the Pope in street clothes.

4. A handicapped professor of religious studies at Notre Dame plots the murder of a student he believes to be the Antichrist.

5. In 1973 the Vatican stockpiled enough oil to ensure the holy flame would burn for eternity. Then came the oil crash. Now the Holy See is home to to a brutal battalion of cut-throat priests who fight to the death to guard their oil and the holy Flame. Can a new Pope bring an end to this madness?

6. A cloning experiment in Area 51 creates a hybrid of a human and an alien, a hybrid that proves to be . . . the Antichrist!

7. A mix-up at the hospital has the Antichrist being raised by the Pope's housekeeper. A wacky battle of wills ensues.