No Soliciting

I just overheard the college age girl at our front door tell my husband with a giggle that HE is the reason their Save the Earth campaign was a success last year because he dutifully went online and signed their petition as soon as he finished speaking with her or one of her friends the last time they visited us. Because he’s a sucker like that and he insists on answering the door for strangers, even though I tell him that if he keeps giving in and signing all the cute girls’ petitions they will just write our address down and come back again, and again, and again…

Lest you think I’m a complete ogre, I DID buy raffle tickets off one of the neighbor kids today. The one who throws trash in my yard and taunts my dog! And I kept my mouth shut about it! And I’ll buy raffle tickets from the other neighbor kid–who is very sweet and polite and who doesn’t litter or antagonize our animals–if she’s looking to sell any. *ahem*

But whatever you do, don’t try to sell me wrapping paper, PLEASE, because that shit’s bad for the Earth and if the Traveling Troupe of College Girls Out Saving the Earth One Handsome Guy At A Time catch me buying any they’ll attack our house en masse AND THEN WHAT.