A short story inspired by a cat in a pub

As live music numbs the mind and the smell of beer fills the air, cheery banter can be heard from far down the street. Birdcage is a pub with attitude (and unisex toilets), where people laugh loudly and sing drunken songs of joy with a side portion of chips.

Catastrophic clashes of beer glasses held a clang in the air. As the crowds parted there was someone no one never expected to see. Sitting on the bar all proud and content was a large white and brown cat staring right back at the crowd. Slowly blinking, it seemed he greeted them into his presence.

Illustrations by Tara Peak

He walked across the bar confidently; burly men lifting up their beer glasses to let him pass. This large cat was clearly in charge. At the end of the bar was a fresh dollop of cream in a small silver bowl which he soon lapped up, not letting anyone rush him off the bar. After licking the last drops of cream from his lips, a cat truly happy, he jumped down onto a bar stool, slow blinking into a slumber. Not stirring from his creamy nap, the bar heartily carried on around him, his tail swooshed away anyone that violated his number one rule – never enter his personal space!

The door opened and a crowd of people tumbled in causing a cloud of old smoke to blow into Cat’s face. His stool rocked and eyes glared across to meet the culprits of his agitation. ‘Who dares disturb my slumber?’

Cat peered across the drunken sea of disillusioned dummies (typical humans) and down to meet the eyes of an excitable four legged monster; a dastardly dog! ‘No pets allowed’ Cat growled, he thrashed his tail against the stool. Keeping his body low to the ground, the crowd parted like he had this magical power over humans, a magnet pushed them away from his presence. As he walked along the bar, the dog felt glowing golden eyes burning into his fur.

‘Oh shit!’ the dog exclaimed, as he turned his face hitting the impact of Cat’s claws. Cat hissed wildly and the bar fell into silence, his tail wagged from side to side thumping the wooden floor in a rhythmic beat.The crowd crawled to the sides of the room. ‘There’s gonna to be a pub brawl’ someone chirped.

Illustration by Tara Peak

The dog fell back and whimpered, turning to his owner for help but his master sheepishly turned away. ‘You’re on your own now buddy.’ Gulping a small yelp the dog had no choice but to face Cat.

Cat hissed again, followed by a slow, growl. Body low to the ground, he slowly walked a few paces towards his newly found enemy. Pouncing full force into the dog’s side, the ground shook on impact as Cat’s back legs dug into the dog’s belly, causing him to yelp in pain. His face was constantly battered by one front paw, and then the next, it seemed Cat was never going to let up.

However, the dog found an opening. Using his front paw he pushed Cat’s head away and held him there for a few seconds before letting go. The crowd whispered in awe.

‘He fought back! They never do.’ one burped.

‘Oh he is going to get it now..’ said another.

The dog saw the yellow glint in Cat’s eyes change to a deep dark red. ‘You’re barred mate’, he thought. Cat stood on his two hind legs and let out a loud howl that vibrated through the whole bar. Dog was now cowering under his looming shadow, his tail between his legs. Cat moved swiftly picking the dog up by the scruff, using his front paws. Cat dragged him towards the door, using his two hind legs to pull the dog’s body and threw him out onto the cold wet street, ass first. The dog whimpered and yelped as the cold met his sore bottom- it was going to be a long night for the poor old dog.

‘No pets allowed’ shouted the barman as he threw the drunken crowd out of the pub, including the dog’s master!

‘But you let that cat in!’ Shouted the dog’s master. ‘He’s no cat,’ roared the barman. ‘He owns the deeds to this pub!’. He bent down to meet Cat and stroked his neck lovingly. Cat smiled smugly at the dog and his master. The drunk grumbled and stumbled away into the night.

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