Okay so I just have two things to say. One, your chapters tend to end half-done. Not this one but Chapter 3 or 4, I don't remember. It seemed like it was in the middle of being finished and you just stopped. Another would be that if Anna's Asian then her last name probably shouldn't be Gardener unless she's half. Just thought I should point these things out. Oh and btw, I'm liking Lucy. She seems like such a cool person and the way you do her personality is awesome. :)

I liked the beginning of this but towards the end, it seemed like you were spilling out everything. Seeing as how this was a prologue, keeping things a bit hidden would have been a better idea. However, this story sounds really interesting so I can't wait to read more! :)

alright well i liked this story a lot. i think you had a good idea here. the problem is that it was more like a play. i'm pretty sure every chapter had Dev in it, i liked him, but it was like Lucy had no life until he walked in the room and then there was something to talk about. every chapter was made up of 99% dialogue. you TOLD without SHOWING. the most you wrote without dialogue was the epilogue by far. like i said it was a good idea, but you could have done more with it.