This poem was first posted on Stories from the Street on 28th January 2010, the day before Sam’s diagnosis was confirmed. Again I find myself waiting here, anticipating an appointment with the consultant tomorrow to tell us what happens next. I didn’t know it was possible to go this deep. In January I thought I was at the end, so who knows whether I am now? He will not take us beyond what we can bear… but He seems to think we can bear more than we think we can. It is amazing to find such grace for a journey. In many ways I am not in such a desperate place as I was then… in other ways it is far more desperate. But there is nothing to be done but rest and wait and keep my thoughts in check, my heart focussed on the Lord.

My soul wait in silence for God alone, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold: I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people, pour out your heart before Him: God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62v5-8