Thursday, March 17, 2011

something happened.

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourself. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also in the interest of others." Philippians 2:3-4.

so... something happened last night. something that brought me to tears. something that caused me to gossip. something that caused me great anxiety for most of my day today. something that i really probably shouldnt blog about, but sometimes i like to flirt with the line of whats appropriate for the blog world.

last night someone (who will remain nameless) basically told me they couldn't be apart of my life because i have a baby. because i have family. because i'm a stay at home who doesnt have a job and doesnt know what its like to be "busy." the conversation did come out of left field to say the least and theres a lot more to it than just those 3 sentences, but in a nut shell...well hopefully you get the picture. Hudson will be 3 months old tomorrow. In his 3 months, this person has seen him & myself...once. Yet, this person proceeded to tell me that hanging out with a baby all day would interfere with their social life.

I am a firm believer that there is always 2 sides to every story, and i would say 99% of the time I can see that other side, i may not always want to but still, I can almost always see it. However it was different this time. I couldn't see it. I was blinded. I was in a place of misunderstanding...a place of confusion. The bible says in Corinthians, I believe, that "God is not a God of confusion, but of peace." All day long I could not wrap my head around what happen in this awful conversation that took place last night, I was not walking in peace but rather in confusion. And it took me all day to realize that until I opened my bible to Philippians. I love the book of Philippians, its so encouraging, I mean you can read it and be ready to conquer mount everest. I read the two verses at the top of this post over & over again. It was basically the Lord shouting to me...thats its not all about me, and that I needed to make this person more "significant" than myself. To think of this persons interest and not just my own.

now does this make everything all peachy king? no not really. But at least I have something to lean on, something that I can "rest" on. Truth & Understanding are always a good place to start when on the road to forgiveness.