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Fragrant Burning - I first heard these two words together in a song, with the same name by Derek Loux (you should be hearing it play even as you read this!). It caught me. One of my life verses has been Romans 12:1 -

Therefore, I urge you, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as livingsacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

With the joining of these two words - I now had a visual picture of the way I desired my life to be before God. A visual picture of the way I felt for it brought together many feelings, callings, revelations all into one magnificant picture. I desire to be a fragrant burning, a sweet smell, pleasing to God. I want to pour my love out on Jesus extravagantly. This fire is consuming me, my flesh, my desires, my hopes, my will - it is purifying me. Sometimes the heat of this fire gives me warmth in the coldest of times and sometimes the heat is so searing that I want to run from it.

But today - I choose to stay.

Oh - by the way - if you like the song, you can download it free. Here's the link!www.soaking.net

It is true, drunk people do crazy things. They will say the craziest things to anyone who will listen (even if they won’t listen). They will laugh out loud, oftentimes for no apparent reason, and without any sensitivity to their surroundings whatsoever. They will dance, fall on the ground, sway as they walk, and completely sacrifice their personal dignity. Why? Because they are drunk.

They are not concerned with what people think about them at the moment. They have lost all fear of man, not concerning themselves in the least with the aftermath of humiliation that is sure to follow their actions. They therefore express themselves freely. They will even attempt the dangerous, like driving a vehicle or jumping off cliffs into shallow water, crazy things that they would never even dream of doing if they were sober. Why? Because they are drunk. Drunk people do crazy things!

In Ephesians 5:18, the Apostle Paul gives this instruction to Christians: “Do not get drunk with wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit” (NIV).

This word “debauchery” means to be so influenced by the effects of alcohol that one loses all inhibition, so that they do things of negative and evil consequence that they would not do if they were sober. In other words, debauchery is doing crazy things that you are really ashamed of the next morning.

Being filled with the Spirit, on the other hand, causes one to do crazy things, but the difference is that those things are things that you are proud of the next morning. Interestingly, the phrase, “be filled”, is not a one time event. In the Greek, this is a present tense verb, which has a continual sense associated with the action. So, more accurately, Paul is instructing the Church to “be continually filled with the Spirit”; to drink everyday, the “new wine” of the Spirit. Why? Because drunk people do crazy things!

On the Day of Pentecost, in Acts chapter 2, the Church was filled with the Holy Spirit. In verse 13, the crowd made fun of them and said “they have had too much wine”. Peter’s response to this accusation is found in verse 15: “These men are not drunk as you suppose...”. Notice, he does not deny the fact that they are drunk, or at the least, acting drunk. He simply lets them know that they are not drunk in the way that they think that they are drunk. The source of their drunkenness is not due to the wine of the world, but rather the new wine of the Holy Spirit. He explains all of this in verse 17, as he outlines the fulfilled prophetic promise of Joel that God would pour out His Spirit on all people.

Notice that Peter got out of the box, crazy, as he found the courage to stand up to address the crowd of onlookers. This is the same Peter that denied the Lord three times! And now he has unabashed boldness to preach the Gospel to the same angry crowd that had earlier crucified Jesus. The only thing that can explain this uninhibited behavior is the fact that he was drunk. Drunk people do crazy things. And I’m sure he was very proud of his actions the next morning, especially when he realized that 3,000 people had been saved as a result of his boldness under the influence of the Spirit!

Jesus has commanded us to do crazy things like heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, and cast out demons; to preach the message of the Kingdom (Matt. 10:7,8). He has commanded us to be His witnesses in the whole earth as his ambassadors (Acts 1:8; 2 Cor. 5:20). He told Ananias, through a supernatural vision, to go to Saul’s house on Straight Street and lay hands on him to receive his sight, which was a crazy proposal given the fact that Saul was arresting Christians and giving approval for their executions (Acts 9).

I used to never pray for the sick. Not because I didn’t believe in healing. I taught on healing. I just didn’t believe that I had what it took to pray for people for them to be healed. I used the excuse that I just didn’t have the “gift”. Interestingly, after learning to let the Holy Spirit influence my mind, I began to live under the influence (LUI), I began to do things that I would ordinarily never try like praying for someone to be healed. Amazingly, people started getting healed. I started to drink and drive, and when I would get to my destination, I would find supernatural boldness to step out and take crazy amounts of risk to pray for the sick at supermarkets, airports, or at family gatherings. And guess what? People started getting healed.

I have found that most people have a hard time stepping out in risk in the Kingdom because they are too intimidated by what others will think. I want to suggest that you try getting absolutely drunk on the Spirit of God until you have no inhibitions left, and just see what kind of great “crazy” things God can do through your life. Remember, drunk people do crazy things!

The further and deeper I go with God, the more I am convinced that I have embraced a doctrine of man and not of God. I have accepted man's teaching as "truth" and have failed to seek God's truth out for myself. I have been content to read what others say about God and have used the scripture to give validity to these things. Yes, I have read scripture, I have study scripture but I have begun to realize that most times I have viewed and study God's words with man's understanding. Now, as I sit before God and invest time in truly reading His Word, and asking for Him to help me to understand His truth and His heart, I see so many falacies that I have embraced. I have many questions - foundational questions - such as what really is the "Gospel" what is this good news that Christ proclaimed? The answer is surprising me and scaring me. I am concerned for the church. I am concerned because I know most who call themselves "Christian" are in the same boat as I have been in and I am quite certain that boat is on a collision course with disaster. Let me ask you this? Do you know what the good news that Christ preached was? I challenge you to read through Matthew with that question in mind!

One of my roomates, Sara put a link to this on her blog - and said it made her laugh till she cried - EVERY time she watched it. I must admit I was skeptical - that is until I watched it. My cheeks hurt even as I write this. You've been warned!

there are some places of intimacy with Godthat you can't hunger intonor simply pray or pursue into.these are the places one must poverty into -places where only those who havein reckless abandongiven up everything for itcan enter & dwell.

I am asking.Rend the Heavens and come down.Open the floodgates of Heaven. Let it rain.My heart is full of expectation.But I know that before the rain -there is always a gathering of the clouds.I see the storm coming and begin to make preparations.Filling my oil lamp to full.The wind starts to blow and shakes everything in it's path.Debris swirls around me and dust is kicked up in my eyes.The tears that come are a blessing and provide much needed relief.

Once small and intermit, the clouds begin to tightly form together.Growing thick, heavy, pregnant with one unified purposePreparing the way for the rain that will soon be releasedThe sky turns dark as the clouds block the last rays of sunlight.The atmosphere begins to change.There is electricity building.Thunder rattles the windowsand lighting punctures through the dark sky.The earth quakesand so does my heart,not from fear but excitement.

I'm waiting with anticipation for the coming rain.Even in the midst of it's fury,it's destruction,the lossI know this storm's purpose is life.This dry, fallow ground I now seewill be saturatedwith a pure, refreshing, cleansing rain.And that in it's wakethe rain will bring forth a great harvest,an inheritance for the King.The storehouse will be filledand the wedding feast will begin.

My fruitfulness depends not on my ability and strength, but on my willingness to yield and be obedient to the direction of the One who is truly able to accomplish all things.

This thought came as I was pondering through the way God accomplishes His purposes - especially in light of how God moved yesterday. It started with my covenant group meeting yesterday morning. We began with prayer and during our prayers I kept on seeing trees, swaying in the wind. The view looked like I was laying on my back looking up at them. I wondered out loud if we weren't to spend our time that morning enjoying God's creation. It was agreed upon and we headed (with all animals in tow) to Horseshoe lake. It end up being a beautiful day, the breeze offering the perfect respite from the mounting heat. As I lay on my back - looking up to the trees - it was just as I had envisioned earlier. The animals provided our entertainment and we just enjoyed being for a little while.

And then our day took an interesting turn. As we were driving back into Cairo, Heather noticed a young guy walking along the road and we were pretty sure he was carrying a bible. Our immediate conclusion was that he must be prayer walking. Heather suggested we turn around and find out what he was doing and we did. Turned around, pulled up to him, introduced ourselves and ask him what he was doing. His response was that he believed God had wanted him to come to Cairo for a couple of days - so he was being obedient to that. My estimation is that in less than 90 seconds of conversation, he was in our car and we were headed home - all trying to piece together what God might be up to on this particular day.

Let me just say here that I don't believe God is random - though it may seem at times as though He works that way. It wasn't a coincidence that on this day we decided to go to Horseshoe Lake, nor was it coincidences of the timing of our return to Cairo that allowed our paths to cross with Jonathon from Marion who was being obedient to a movement of God in his life to hitchhike down to Cairo and see what might happen. Even twenty-fours hours later, after showing him around town, praying, eating, working and worshiping together, I still can't tell you exactly what God is doing or what He is working out in Jonathon's life, our life, this community. But that's OK, I'm coming more and more to a place where I can just enjoy the ride and know that God is working it out, in His way, in His time. My contribution - yieldedness.

My suspicion is that Jonathon won't be the last person we pick up on the road to Cairo. That he won't be the last person that responds to God's voice to come, unsure of why, but desiring to be obedient. No, instead I believe that he is one, of an ever growing population of people, that God desires to route through this little layover stop in Cairo, as they journey on down the highway of their life seeking to live out their eternal destiny in Christ.

Sara, Heather and I today decided to study a passage of scripture together. My suggestion of this came from the vision the other night and how I saw small groups of people fellowshipping together, eating the bread, oil and wine. I instinctively new that the bread they were eating was of course the word and that this was releasing some things. So I suggested that we feast on the word a little. To study a passage alone and ask the Holy Spirit to instruct us on it and then to share what we had learned. It turned out to be an amazing treat. Yummy good!

Ezekiel 36:22-24

Why? For His name sake - to show He is holy, to reestablish his sanctity - that He is THE God. Restore His name.Not for our name sake - that is, not for any merit in me or anything I have done; on the contrary, on my part, there is every reason for God to call down continued severityIsaiah 5:1616But the LORD of hosts will be exalted in judgment,And the holy God will show Himself holy in righteousness.Ezekiel 20:4141"As a soothing aroma I will accept you when I bring you out from the peoples and gather you from the lands where you are scattered; and I will prove Myself holy among you in the sight of the nations.Ezekiel 38:2323"I will magnify Myself, sanctify Myself, and make Myself known in the sight of many nations; and they will know that I am the LORD."'

Why does He need to do this? Because his name was profaned. Profaned = polluted, violate the honor, treat as common, to wound.The Israelites gave a handle of reproach to the heathen against God, who would naturally say, These who take usury, oppress, commit adultery, etc, and who, in such an abject plight, are "gone forth" as exiles "out of His land," are specimens of what Jehovah can or will effect, for His people, and show what kind of a God this so-called holy, omnipotent, covenant-keeping God must be! Our lives have not be set apart - consecrated - there is no difference - so there must be no difference in our "god".

To what end? That the nations will know He is God and come to him.

How? He will show himself hallowed - holy through us.hallowed = holy, sanctified, separate, consecrated - to set apart, prepared, dedicated, to be observed as holy.He will gather us from out of the nations. Nations=heathenHE WILL DO IT - He will show himself holy - through us - in us

Ps 1261When the LORD brought back the captive ones of Zion,We were like those who dream.2Then our mouth was filled with laughterAnd our tongue with joyful shouting;Then they said among the nations,"The LORD has done great things for them."the LORD has done great things for us;We are glad.

VisioningI saw a glorious city on a hill - God said [this was my intentions that the nations will come to the light on my holy hill - my people who had my character - this would draw the nations to me and they would call me Lord. But my name has been polluted.My image has been defiled - the nations can no longer see my true character. I am going to put forth a revelation of my character by instilling it into my people. Holiness. That blessing would be poured out on you and that blessing, out of your overflow would flow onto them and then the nations would say - the Lord has done great things for us - we are glad. And they would acknowledge me as the LORD. ]

HEATHERHouse of Israel - who is it? Grafting - Israel is brought to a place of unbelief so that the gentiles could be grafted in. Israel is us.God's motivation - for His names sake - his own sake - for his advantage. His identity has been communicated wrongly - it is a false witness of who God is.Profane - to pollute, to dissolve/destruction - removal of it's intended character, harlotry - adultery with idolsDeclaration - this is not for you - I will use you - who represent me on this earth - to restore my character to the nationsWhat does this mean for us now - we are encroaching on this time - encroaching = to entering into theWho is the audience - the nations=heathen - He will create a billboard with people as the paint - to declare is character and holiness to the nationsWhat does it mean to gather?What will he do? Take us out of the nations, gathering, bring back

SARATurns back the distortion that the enemy has madeTangible holinessGod has a desire to be known - his true characterSara asks God, What's in your name? - hidden treasure, divine decree, power, fulfillment to decrees, keysMany have used my name without understanding itThere is a spiritual principles in names - if you study the principle - go deep - there is powerIf the names match on earth - and in heaven and it releases powerHiding blue prints /battle plans of his kingdom in worship, music, art, things that we do spirituallyLuke 4:6

Sara's vision about me:Akiel (the name God called me by) Sara said that God revealed part of the meaning - servant of the sword - that is the first layer - understanding my layers (like an Adobe file)I just see Kristy walking around on a scavenger hunt talking with angelsNames of places are significant - there is power in heaven that can be released on earthThere is something missing but must be found in the scripture - it will unlock somethingThis reminded me of Nydia and how God had instructed her to go and rename all the streets in Boston.

VISION OF THE WALKING STONESWe are over a valley of walking stones too numerous to count. From my aerial view, I can see no people - just stones moving about. But I know that these stones are not moving of their own power, they are being carried, shouldered by people. They are bowed down, eyes to the ground, they really can't see very much around them, just their feet, the ground right underneath them and anyone that comes into their peripheral. Most are covering the same ground over and over again. As I look around I see some men who are not carrying stones, they are watching. The watchers will yell out instructions but it just leads the walkers in a circle. Which I realize is what they want - so they can keep them within their grasp, control. I watch as some who are carrying the stones stumble, some fall, some drop the stone, others are crushed under it's weight. I notice others who have dropped their stone or have fallen, struggling to hoist the stone back into the air. Some just give up. Some lay as though dead. There is a barrage of little stones being tossed at the people. I wonder where they are coming from but I can't tell. Because of the precarious nature of balancing the stone, the little rocks have a tendency to make them stubble or drop their stone. ( I later see the source of these little rocks, they are being thrown by angels, not in a mean spirited way - but a very calculated toss that knocks the walkers off balance. There is this realization that they are using "circumstances" to try to "help" the walkers get freed from carrying their stones.) I see the watchers they have cans of spray paint and I now notice that each stone has been "tagged" and that the stones with the same tags seem to stay together, for the most part. Occasionally a stone with a different tag will come into the one of the other "groups" and the watcher will run over and tag it. The people are very tired and very hungry and very thirsty. I see that their only "meal" is a communion size cup and a wafer. Not nearly enough to sustain them.

I am now in the valley, I can see those carrying the stones better, some stones are being carried by families - mom and/or dad's and their children. Some of the children are just barely tall enough to touch the stone, others are jumping up trying to help. Occasionally one of the stones will fall and crush a child. Now that I am on the ground I also notice people that are crawling around on the ground they are carrying cups of water and they go up to the people who have stumbled or fallen. The ones who are still carrying the stones either ignore them or are annoyed by them. Occasionally one of the crawling ones inadvertently causes one of the walking ones to stumble or fall or drop the stone. There is a bit of an adversarial relationship between the two. The water refreshes those who have fallen and some of them begin to follow the crawlers. Others get just refreshed enough to have enough strength to pick up the stone and start walking again. The water brings healing to those who seem like they are dead. The crawlers will sometimes even drag a person to the base of the mountain. There is a mountain completely surrounding the valley. To high and steep just to climb, but there is a small opening at the bottom - it's kind of hard to find - but the crawlers lead people to the opening. It looks a little scary - sometimes people will get all the way to the entrance and then turn back. But some begin to crawl through. The watchers don't really notice the crawlers to often because the stones are covering them up, but when they do see them they mock them, or belittle them for not working hard enough. Then others will pick up the chant - slacker, slacker and attention will focus on that person for awhile.

Back at the small entrance Jesus begins crawling through and I follow him. It's dark and confusing at first. I'm a little unnerved - but not frightened. At first I'm grabbing onto Jesus foot as he is crawling but then I begin to just sense where he is and it's like I can see him. There are quite a few bends and turns but I eventually see light - it gets brighter and brighter until we finally pop through to the other side of the mountain and the scene before me is beautiful - trees, lush grass, streams, flowers, waterfalls - I think it is like the Garden of Eden. There are many people there and the atmosphere is serene but joyful, there is a buzz in the air, laughter, people are comfortable, chatty, relaxed, enjoying each other. There are all these small groups around sitting under trees, by the waterfalls or streams. As I look around I notice all these tents on the outskirts of the valley. I ask Jesus what is this place, what are the tents, who are these people? [This is my habitation. I desire my people to come here. Those tents are the tents of meeting. The place that is created by each person or group or church, in order to enter into my habitation. Many come alone, but some have created a place where many can enter. I will often show up at these meeting places to usher people in.]

As we walk around the groups I see that they are fellowship, they talking and eating. There is wine, oil and bread. As Jesus comes by he caresses people and then pours water out on the groups. He is greatly enjoying this time - and so am I. There is something very special about what is happening here. I want to stay. After he has poured out water on them they begin to look like Christ. Everyone is starting to look like Him. [I am in you - you are in me]. When they are clothed they go back - either through the Tent of meeting or the tunnel. I notice a couple of others things - there are no angels here. [This is the mystery - of humanity - that they can have intimacy at this level with me. This is part of the reason Satan has sought to destroy you and that Angels have marveled and desire to understand this mystery] I also see new people coming through the tunnel and when they come out most crawl immediately to the nearby river to drink. The whole thing is like a covert rescue operation. After a time those drinking at the river begin joining the different groups.

We are back in the valley of rocks and I see the crawlers - they are still giving out water - but I notice now that there are some that are talking, speaking. A pile of stones is beginning to form. People are laying down their rocks and placing them against the mountain. The crawlers are helping to direct their efforts. It is creating a stairway of sorts. I understand that a stairway is being carved out on the other side too, in preparation. As more people come through the tunnel more come back and even more are led through. The stairway is done and something is beginning to happen. I see on the other side of the mountain the groups are becoming circles and they are spinning intertwined together. A wind is being generated and it begins to blow up over the mountain and into the next valley. At first there is confusion, but then it is obvious that some of the people are feeling this wind as a blast of hot air, it is searing them and they drop their rocks and run from the wind. Another group is refreshed by the wind, it is a cool breeze, sweet smelling. In response to this wind they also drop their rocks, not in fear but freedom. And when they do, their vision is cleared and they can now see the stairway. They begin to run. A mass of people is running for the stairs, scrambling over the rocks, climbing up - there is a desperation and a joy all jumbled together in one emotion. Jumping, leaping sometimes tumbling down the other side and they come splashing into the river. Drinking, bathing, swimming, loving it.

In a very short time, they then run into the wheels like they know exactly where they are going. The pitch becomes higher and higher and the sound begins to cause a rumble in the earth. There is a massive explosion and the mountain tumbles into a deep cavern. It is a wide, deep cavern. An obvious separation between the two groups of people. There would seem no way of crossing it. Jesus says to me - [The stones where never meant to be weights, they were meant to building blocks to that you might come closer to me. They were meant to be used as a strong foundation, something to stand on, not under. They were meant to build up places of refuge. (a mixed look crosses Jesus faces - joy and sadness mixed together) A marriage song and a funeral dirge will now begin]{I understand that a dividing line has been placed.}

I believe that Jesus is saying through this that the man made structure of the church as we know it cannot sustain the "true" church, it cannot contain it, it cannot support it, the structure itself is faulty. That the old wine skin of the church, will not be able to hold the new wine. We must have new wine skins.

Rev*o*lu*tion: noun. a : a sudden, radical, or complete change b : a fundamental change c : activity or movement designed to effect fundamental changes in the socioeconomic situation d : a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something : a change of paradigm e : a changeover in use or preference

I was born to be a revolutionary! To help change the spiritual equilibrium of the Church - to unsettle her from her temporary state of lethargy and to call forth a generation of passionate, consecrated warriors to fight and invite the King to come and the Kingdom of God to be established - here, NOW. May GOD'S government be established

Today I shared with everyone in prayer about how God had spoken to me that we are entering into a new season. That we are going through a transition and that this new season will release both unity in the spirit, but also pressure, attack, enemies will arise. I suspect that David's pslams will become even more real to me through this time. Up till now we have been able to be everyone's friend - we are non-offensive - we have favor, people like us. But I believe we are moving into this season where people will begin to take offense at us because of the stand that we take with and for Christ. Christ said - do not be surprised when people hate you. If they hated me - they will hate you. In the midst of the pressure - the squeezing - persecution - the true church will be drawn together in unity. There will be no middle of the road, riding of the fence. Your either with Christ - or against Him. Your either His friend or His enemy.

I have lived in a place where I had no enemies - but I believe God has queitly spoken to me - and is preparing us for this change. Friends and enemies will arise. I wait expectantly for the oil of unity to be released. I have some fear of rising enemies. Not that they can hurt me - but that I might not represent my Lord is the fashion that I desire and he deserves. God give me the grace - you inside me, your power, to stand sit and rest in your presence while you hem me in before and behind. I trust your Soveriegnty. You are good - I embrace the suffering and death, that I might share more deeply with you in resurrection life.

An empty vesselMy lifePresented for fillingI desire to be a carrierOf your presenceBreathe into meLife

By Your WordLiving, alive, nowWith the kiss of your mouthPut your lips on mineAnd breatheFill my lungsMy heartMy soulEvery part of my bodyFilled with the very breathOf the Almighty

I am a carrierOf His most brilliant presenceI am the lightOf the worldNot because of who I amBut who is in meFilling meShining outTo dispel the depth of darknessEvery place I set my feetDarkness must flee

Christ in meGod in meThe Holy Spirit filling every partWith Him I have becomeOne flesh, one breathUnashamed of my nakednessRecognizing the lies of SatanFree from guiltAnd condemnationWalking a life of transparentLoveIntimate communion with God

We are called to be a people leaning against Jesus with His heart pounding in our ears. Intimacy is the convergence of two hearts, His and ours, coming into rhythm together, so that there is only one sound. Complete union with Christ.

Tonight we briefly talked about how we enter into God's chamber. We light on praise and thanksgiving. That God inhabits our praise. So we desire to praise - to give thanks. How shall we do this? Tonight we did it this way. 3 pieces of blank paper - become a collective praise offering. Written and drawn - words of praise. Shared. Responded and added to. Line upon line- it creates a symphony of praise. What fun we had - in silence and yet loud. I have been blessed with 2 amazing women to walk this journey out. Thank you Lord.

God dropped this little diddy in my mind today and as I was pondering what it meant I had a vision of God smiling, looking at these little flowers growing in a large weedy field. It seemed a random place for them to be, they were hardly noticeable. Except God sees them and He bends down to smell them, to gently finger them and then pulls out a shovel and takes them up out of the ground - soil and all. There is a sense that they are still somehow in the same location and yet they are transplanted to a pot in His throne room. The pot is nothing fancy, just a standard red clay pot. He is enjoying them, seeing them grow under His light. Quicker than they might normally. The flowers feel special, even in their plain pot for it seems that it is just God and these little flowers - His eyes are on them, they are special to him and He is taking great care to give them exactly what they need. But then I look around and realize there are many, many, many of these pots with little flowers growing in them, all being nurtured by God himself, in His throne room. Each one, small and insignificant, but special to Him. Together there is a great fragrance rising from this garden in the throne room of God and it begins to trail down to the earth and swirl around. God's secret garden, full of little white flowers, their fragrance is smelled around the world.

2 Corinthians 2:14-16 (New International Version)

14But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. 15For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. 16To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?

There are times in your life when you look around and realize that what you believe has been foundationaly changed - forever. I have been going through one of those times. I joked a couple of months ago with some friends that I had a new Bible. Not a new physical Bible, but it seemed that everything I read, I was reading with new eyes, new understanding, a fresh perspective, new insight and revelation. It has been amazing and wonderful. The same verses that I have been reading for years have new depth and life to them. As I have pondered through this new reality, I have realized that my new perception extends beyond scripture - but to my understanding of God and is place and interaction in my life. Though it would probably be clearly obvious for most - it to me a few months fully realize and acknowledge that it is not God that has changed - but me. Here are my thoughts, in verse.

My Old Kingwas smallone dimensionalfamiliarpredictablevoid of surprisesafecozyboringlifelessdetachedwithout power to impact my world

He loved mebut from afarwas uninvolvedin my day to day affairsI was left to wanderthrough the mysteries of lifewithout directionstruggling to make sense of the senslessstriving to win His favortrying to hide my wretchednessafriad He might seemethe me I knew intimatelyand despised

My New Kingis vast beyond measurewildmysteriouswonderfully creativeHis reach, infiniteeven to the very details of my lifeHe is mighty, powerfuland yet with gentleness He breaks and refashionsmy character to the likeness of His son

He loves me with abadonHe intimately guides and moves meas He works to fullfill a grand planand purpose for my lifeHe can speak laughter into tragedyjoy into sufferingmove past governmentsbeyond povertythrough injusticeto release those who are bound.He can reach into the painand give peacethe valley of the shadow of deathand bring life

It happened again yesterday. Another voice proclaiming that a nation wide revival is coming - and that it will start here in Cairo. I can no longer count on both my hands how many different times, from different people that we have heard this from. Yesterday the voice called from Nashville. At my most honest and transparent and bold and faith filled times - I can can say - I have heard it too. I believe Lord - help my unbelief!

So I had time today to get on the internet and do some research. Have there been other things spoken about this place. Though I didn't run across anything significant, I was inspired by some thoughts that I did encounter. The following resulted.

An Army RisingThere is a breathinglivingmoving Army of those who"have an ear"rising up.Invisible to the institutions of the churchunseen by the religion-bound.It is a world-wide,simultaneous and Spirit-led Army.It has no formal name andwears no crown of importance.It is the Remnant,the Wise Virgins;the Bride awaiting her Groom.The Faithful Steward,the Lone Leper returning with thanks-giving.David's Temple more gloriousand the church of the living Godagainst whom the gates of hell cannot not prevail

This Army is a company of hidden ones,invisible that He may be seen.This Army travels on its face -humility is its calling card.They feasts on grace,move at His bidding,speak His voice.They see the Kingdom of Godbeing revealed.Here and now.A people who willingly embrace thefellowship of suffering.Have chosen the way of self death,that they be made holyby the indwelling of the Spirit.Pure in heart.Faith of a mustard seed -able to move mountains.

Their leadership is the True Head,Christ.Their humility comes from knowing both who He isand who they are.Their strength comes from knowing that they are weakand He is strong.This Army will appear,not in neon lightsbut in streets filled with desperate, dying men.Its appearance will only be as a traffic sign,pointing the way to fullness of life.Guiding lost souls along the path of longsuffering,and byway of goodness and truth.If you hear and receive this message in your heart,you are part of this Army,glorious in His righteous robes,resplendent in the shadow of His Glory,magnetic with the perfume of His presence.

Do not be discouraged by the wildernessthis is your place of preparationyour teacher the Holy Spirit.Your hunger and discontenta spur to greater revelation.The lonlinessa call to deeper intimacywith Christ.Do not fear your death -it is producing lifeand power.Keeping moving forward.This emerging Army will soonshake the world!Christin youwill shake the world!

God has dictated some things to me - this was the first time that it has happened in this way. He talked I wrote. It happened this past Thursday morning as I was in the prayer room. Sometimes stuff like this is hard for me to acknowledge - it can sound arrogant - that I'm making it up to glorify myself. It's not - I have asked God why me and He has said it has nothing to do with me all to do with Him and He chose me, not because I'm so great, but because I'm weak and hungry and willing to say yes in my desperation.

Prophetic Word:An earthquake is coming first in the spiritual and then in the natural - that will set off a 3rd shaking in the spiritual that will reach around the world. Pastor's must come together. I will release an understanding to them. Unity will be recognized by me when 7 churches come together. Complete protection is available but only through the churches. Your act - creating a place of habitation will provide a place of refuge within and after the shaking. If there is no habitation - there is no refuge. It only takes the 3, but requires the 3. I will release signs even before. I will provide physical warnings. You are to declare my desired protection. The pastors must trumpet the warning and call for the city to repent. I will protect all that have joined you at that time, there will be many. The harvest is ready. The pastors must reap. Prayer and fasting are required for release. This place will be a sign to the nations that my return is at hand. I have chosen this place to reveal my glory. I have chosen you as a people. I do this for my glory, rewards are yours if you continue to say yes. You must choose this path if destruction is to be averted. You are the last defense - you are my last provision for this people. If you refuse you must leave for destruction will come. You won't refuse. (God was responding to a question in my heart at that point) Don't fear for it is my pleasure to give you the Kingdom. (Again God is talking to me through a verse that He gave me in a dream a couple of weeks ago.) Yes you are insignificant and weak and faithless and I will receive the glory for this reason. (I was balking a bit - God why me, I'm so ...)

The last couple of days I have been at a retreat to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the outpouring at Azuza Street. I have been fellowshipping with a wonderful group of people, some who I have gotten to know and deeply love and respect. But these couple of days havn't been without their struggles - as this group is mainly Pentecostal and the difference in the style of worship and even the expectation of what real praise looks like has made me inquire of God.A shouta dance in the aisleJumpingspinningrunning, falling, rollingIs this the kind of praise you desire from me?Have I failed to offer the fullness of what I can giveDoes my praise offeringmade in the quietness of soulconvey to you the same adorationA life bowed before youA tear of repentance or of joyA loving gaze seeking your faceHeart uplifted in gratitude of who you areA hand raised in adorationacknowledging your greatness and gloryA quiet song directed by your Spiritor does my silence mock youAm I a cowardfearful of manDisobedientsinful in omissionunwilling to offer the praise you deserveOne thing is sure - I cannot discern my own heartReveal myself to meteach me LordMove my heart to convictionor let me stand in solitude of soulconfident that my offering of praisefills your cup to overflowing

I suspect that the large majority of people in this world would say I have a weird life. And maybe from their perspective it would be true. But I love this life and I believe that it is more "normal" according to God's standards than my "normal" used to be. In fact I hope my life gets even more weird. Somehow I suspect that in doing so - it will come even closer to God's design. I love this life - I want more!

Yesterday I prayed and worshiped in the morning. Went home and napped, did laundry, ate lunch. Went back to the office to do paperwork and to plan a bible study. That afternoon I shared with the YE students about how God had told me to walk around Cairo and stake the ground. They then had the opportunity to write out their own stakes and we went and planted them at the location of their choice. Interestingly enough - they did not mock the activity. This is a miracle in itself. The verses they chose were even insightful - I was blessed by reading them.

That evening I drove an hour and a half to Benton, IL for a worship service. Spent the night in the church with some of my staff and quite a few people we didn't really know. Woke up this morning with a headache (spiritual warfare continues to plague me with headaches) and to people in the prayer room wailing and crying and sining and praying. Honestly, when your not used to that, at first it sounds a bit creepy - but was soon embraced by my ears. Took a shower and am now typing on my adopted bed as Amanda gets dressed. Our "room" is a old sunday school room - converted into a dorm room.

Today a group from First Free in Springfield will make the journey to Cairo, and call one of our converted classrooms and the resource room their "home" for a couple of nights. Time for breakfast!

My heart is filled with desirePassions and longing for greatness in GodSeeking what I cannot imagine, yet somehow know could beA habitation for the almightyright here in my lifeThis desire necessitates the furnacerequires the heat of His consuming firePurity revealed - absolute and undefiledEven precious things become drosssilver - beautiful, precious, treasuredtaints the purity of the gold I seekRefinedpure goldeasily molded on the anvilinto God's easy chairA place to dwellmy life, His living roomHoliness serves as the welcome matWelcome home

Sometimes I feel like I'm Shrek, and the crazy conversations that go on in my head are like that donkey that followed Shrek around. I'm on this journey to awaken the sleeping princess ( the bride of Christ) & bring her to the king, and there are hills to traverse & dragons to slay & dungeons to move through & towers to climb... And there's me - moving through this amazing techni-color journey while scratching my rear, belching the words to "I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner', occasionally cleaning my ears & my nose with my finger, wearing the same shirt for too many days in a row, and sometimes needing a serious attitude adjustment when either the donkey or the princess goes into a diatribe of whines & complaints over the nature of this journey. Add to all that the reality that a part of me really is an Ogerrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!. As I put on Christ for & in this trek, I become a Christian Oger, but an Oger nonetheless. I don't kill & eat towns-people any longer. Now I serve & protect them. But I still pick my nose... while slaying their dragons & keeping watch over the village. Turns out even Ogers have a unique purpose in the plan of God.

We brought some of the YE students to Birmingham on a mission trip and God has surprised me with the response.

joy found in waking early - You have done great thingsgifts poured out in unlikely places - You have done great thingsemotion revealed in the reading of Your Word - You had done great thingsears open and hearing - You have done great thingsprayers offered without mocking - You have done great thingsfulfillment and satisfaction in working - You have done great thingsrealized joy in serving - You have done great thingslaughter, sharing, juken - You have done great thingsunexpected responses - You have done great thingslittle things and yet miraculous - Father You had done great things

This morning I am in Birmingham - and in the confusion of knowing or not knowing if B-Ham was central or eastern time zone - I am up an hour earlier than planned. Oh - well it makes way for the time to put some thoughts down about my desire for the life I seek to lead.

practicing extreme obediencefierce faithfulnessswift in care for othersresponsive, rushing readinessto move at a moments noticewhen even a hint or a whisper of God's willreaches my listening heartno part of God revealed going unnoticedever repentantthrowing down the erected altars of the old mewith all its fading glorybroken though made wholeat war and yet peacefulruling while being ruledrising while bowing downextreme freedom in the midst of slaveryresting though laboringlonging for something more and yet strangely contentbeing me not at allyet more fully myself than ever beforejoyful dichotomy of a life hidden an yet revealed in Christ.

When I moved to Cairo I didn't have a big vision or anything. Here was my plan. • Live in Cairo. • Get to know my neighbors. • Pray. • Do a cookie ministry from my front porch to get to know the kids in the neighborhood. There it was - Kristy's ministry plan for Cairo - prayer & cookies.

As I just wrote that - I realized - I wasn't too far off. Prayer is the foundation of what God has called me to do here - and kids still come to my house to bake cookies. God's plan has just turned out to be a little bit more extensive and requiring a whole lot more faith and dependence on Him than I could ever had imagined.

I appreciate that God is sometimes secretive in His plans for us. If He had let me see too much of His plan - I know my faintness of heart would have had me cowering in the corner.

Just to let you know - He still has to reveal things a little at a time - and though my faith and trust has grown immensely in these past few years, I still have Peter moments - where I jump out in faith on the water and then start to look around at the circumstances and begin to doubt.

It was time - I knew it was time - but I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing.

September 2000 God called me to 30 days of intercessory prayer. Every night I went to my church sanctuary and prayed. Sometimes for an hour, sometimes for 5 or 6 hours. 30 days turned into 60, then 90 and finally, in February, almost 6 months into this prayer thing, I knew God wanted me to resign from my position at the church.

This had not been the expected outcome of this journey in prayer. I was looking for revival in my life, in my church, in the city. Instead, I lose my job. I put in my letter of resignation. Friends and family ask, "What are you going to do?" I don't know. I have no job - so - I buy a house. This doesn't make sense. My uncle, who is a banker, says no one is going to give you a home loan. It's my first house, I don't have job. Why would they. But they do.

I find out about a youth mission ministry on the internet "YouthWorks." It sounds like a great ministry and I don't have to raise support(remember - it hasn't been to long since my two year support raising venture) - in fact I get paid! I have a job for the summer, but I have to move to Red Lake, Minnesota. A Chippewa Indian Reservation becomes my home for 10 weeks. It is an amazing summer of God's power at work. I love it.

I'm offered a full time position with YouthWorks. I didn't apply for it - they just ask me to consider taking the job. But, it would mean that I have to move to Minneapolis. It's a great opportunity, the perfect job as far as I'm concerned. But the timing doesn't feel right. I just bought a house and I'm looking forward to living with my brother this next year before he gets married. I love my new church and I have been growing spiritually in new and exciting ways there. I turn down the job. A week later, they offer it to me again, this time with chance to continue to live in Springfield and commute to Minneapolis. Whoa! God opens the door for my perfect ministry opportunity. I take it.

Fall of 2001 and Spring of 2002 are amazing and exhausting, wonderful and challenging. God shows me a lesson in His faithfulness all year long. Random meetings and opportunities are not random, but God's supernatural working on my behalf to accomplish His will. I'm learning some very important lessons here. Fall of 2001 I visit Cairo, IL for the first time (except for the random times that we drove through the town on our way to somewhere else). I'm shocked by the poverty and decline of the town and am excited that YouthWorks will be here this next summer. At the end of 2001 a GreaterWorks Intern comes to work with me in Springfield. I meet Anna, who will become one of my closest friends, ever.

Late Spring 2002I think it may be time to consider moving to a YouthWorks community - I love this GreaterWorks Internship thing, but I really need to live in a community where we have a summer site to make it work. Maybe St Louis. Maybe next year.

Summer 2002I help to get the Cairo site started - I love our summer staff there and am looking forward to the last week of the summer when my church, Glad Tidings Assembly will take their first YouthWorks mission trip to Cairo, IL. God is tugging on my heart about something but I'm not ready to acknowledge it. The summer is a wonderful whirlwind of God showing up. Second week in August, I'm in Cairo and my life get's turned upside down.

I'm supposed to move to Cairo. I know it. I don't want too. Small town - uggh. I'm a city girl - St Louis - that's my choice. Cairo - that's God's choice. End of the week - I'm driving to St Louis. I cry most of the way. Yes God. Yes God. I want you more than my own way. I'll go. BUT, you're going to have to make a way. Where am I going to live (there are hardly any rental properties), what am I going to do with my house in Springfield, will YouthWorks even let me move there, what will my parents think? (In the back of my mind I'm thinking - that's a lot of variables, maybe it won't work out, and I will have a way of escape!)

YouthWorks not only says yes to me moving to Cairo, but wants me to try to be there and set up to receive an intern by January. WOW - that's quick. Mom and Grandma Lindsay come with me to Cairo to look at houses. I'm assuming that I will have to be making the mortgage on two homes (the one in Springfield and now one in Cairo) so I set a max house cost of $50,000. There are a lot of homes and they are amazingly cheap, but I'm just not finding what I'm looking for. I really want a two story with two bathrooms, to accommodate all of the people that will eventually live there. My grandmother doesn't like Cairo, and she's afraid for me to live there.

e*nig*ma: a mystery, secret, closed book, riddle; one that is puzzling or inexplicable; something that baffles understand-ing and cannot be explained; a difficult problem.

I'm an enigma even to myself. See there is a desire in me, a desire daily to live & to die in order that I might know God intimately. My heart desires radical obedience & unwavering servanthood - but my flesh screams against each step that takes me deeper into these realities.

soul: the spiritual nature of humans, regarded as immortal.

up*ris*ing: moving or progressing toward a higher level or degree; coming to maturity; emerging; the leaven or yeast used to make dough rise.

My soul desires this - this UPRISING. It desires to curicfy excuses, to surrender itself, to be consumed by Christ and to come into maturity, into the fullness of life that God said could be mine. But my flesh is so very weak.

A couple of quick facts about me. I'm a missionary in Cairo, Illinois. I'm in love with a man named Jesus who has captured my heart in the most amazing way! I am the bride of Christ and I choose to lavish my love on this One Man, Jesus Christ, Lover of my soul. I choose HIM, because He chose me. I love HIM because He loved me first.