Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Here We Go!

.:Reply:.

From Cyril: as far as im concerned, saying the calf up people is a broad generalization. as much as anybody there, pan m has his good side and bad side. its just so happens a lot of guys in the calf up can be bigoted sumtyms. it happens.

My Reply: Point well taken. However, I didn't really want to mention who these "Calf Up People" were by name, as Pan-M also reads my blog, so as to avoid discomfort in the event that the particular people who had something to say against Pan-M ran into him. That's why I resorted to the general term. I'd admit that I could've said "some people in Calf Up", instead...

.:Exhaustion:.

Oh, this will be really tiring...

In any case, I managed to have some fun during today's boardwork, although I had to finish my required work in Methods of Research before anything else. Nonetheless, I was pretty happy with the fruits of my labor. I'm just faily exhausted and all, though.

In any case, it's almost midnight, and here I am, supposedly waking up for work about four hours or so later. Well, so much for a good amount of sleep...

.:At Long Last!:.

I got my paycheck from the Ateneo today. Whoooooo!!! You can tell I'm exceedingly pleased about this little development... ah, well. At least, I don't feel so... poor at this point, with all the money set to flow in within the week.

.:Meanness:.

Sir, I just wanted to ask about this notion of a “being unto death”. I saw this movie recently, and so as I won't spoil anything, I won't mention the title of the film. In any case, this character, let's call him Bill, was killed by this special move called the Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique, and I was wondering if the true nature of a “being unto death” was one who would take those five steps to his demise, or the one who would stay put indefinitely to stay alive.

You can tell my classmates weren't pleased to hear the Kill Bill Volume 2 ending this evening... heh. I should've told them about that Superman analogy in the film... ah, well. By the end of my question, they wanted to make a "being unto death" out of me.

Still, Rey keeps on insisting that I'm “the man” for being close to Sacha and all. In the end, when you get to know Sach the way I have so far, you tend to realize that even someone like her could be the victim of overhype all the same...

In any case, tonight's report was funny with all those comments the reporter made, but really now, it was a messy report...

Imagine if dogs could talk like humans, and dog 1 got ran over by a ten-wheeler truck, and dog 2 approaches dog 1, who was still alive.

I mean, death is such a final experience. It's something we experience yet don't experience. Ever heard a dead guy walk up to you and say, “Hey man, it's cool being dead!”?

Sheer hilarity...

.:Truth Be Told:.

For the first time in ages, I treated Sacha to dinner at Chiggy's. She had chicken barbecue while I had beef barbecue, and our conversation last night was extremely interesting.

For one, I told her that I just really want to fulfill what I promised her last weekend, and she told me how much she appreciated it.

You see, going for Sacha produces, for the most part, guilt, and there are two main reasons why:

1. I see her as little more than a trophy girlfriend, which makes my going after her just an ego trip, more than anything else, and more importantly...

2. ... I already have Grace.

With those factors in mind, Sacha realized why I had to close myself up to even just the possibility of going for her... or eleven other Chinese girls I happen to know for that matter. So she isn't that unique, after all... glad she took that part pretty well, in all honesty.

We then talked about how Zeus tried to psychoanalyze her (Yet only coming up with statements that held true for everyone.), how everyone else seemed to get lucky with her (She was comparing how this or that kiss was from this or that kiss, whereas poor me would still be hoping for so much as a peck on the cheek before she leaves for Japan.), and of course, that unbelievable rumor about her “inner thigh groping” encounter with a certain person whose name rhymes with “Cleric”. She promptly and categorically denied this last accusation, though. I don't think it's easy to believe the veracity of such rumors, anyways, especially considering who we're talking about...

Conversation then drifted to our recent rash of writing, and how she managed to read through my poem well enough, although she knew who “Hannah” was mostly because she took said person up in a particular class before. She has an unfair advantage in that respect. Ah, well. She mentioned how freaked out Dominique was when he read the “Gone” short story, because of the dark overtones.

For the record, Dom: The gun was EMPTY. As it ALWAYS has been. And he will do it again tomorrow. I hope that excerpt allays your fears. I'm far from suicidal, you see.

Not that Sach has been confiding secrets in me or anything of the sort, but she has been talking a bit more about her past than she used to, and it helps me get a better glimpse into her being. Inasmuch as my ability to read her in no way empowers me over her, it on the contrary enhances my way of dealing with her, as I have a better picture of how she ticks. Actually, such opportunities do tend to happen to a lot of people I know. I use such moments to get me a chance to be a lot more perceptive of how they are and how they feel... I recognize that one's entirety of being cannot even be encapsulated in a lifetime of encountering that person, and as such, the glimpses I get into the psyche of the people who matter to me is a welcome insight.

For the most part, we really had a very good conversation, and it was extremely enjoyable, simply because I realized that the moment she goes to Japan, inasmuch as I'd miss her, she'd still pretty much be where I tend to associate her to be all the time, anyway: on the internet. At the same time, she has managed to bring together an unlikely bunch of friends in a sort of barkada, who intend to keep their friendship together, effectively proving that they are more than just a bunch of people hanging onto a common thread.

Of course, I pointed out to Sach (Lest I forgot.) that she tends to be a bit careless during class, though. I had no choice but to let her students ogle her the last time, as it was both embarrassing for her if I pointed out her... err... negligence at the time, and last time I tried to point stuff like that out to her, I got blasted by her for it. At least she's more receptive of it now... at least that social cleavage on decorum is now out of the way. Ha!

We do clash on a lot of opinions, but the ones we share are quite uncanny. We seem to have the same concept about not letting ourselves define or be defined by others, which is pretty much a huge part of my Philosophy when it comes to relationships, especially those of the romantic type. It took her only now to realize that I also represented the Social Sciences and not just the Humanities, though. I was a Communications graduate, after all. Our clashes on opinions are usually dismissed as an agreement to disagree (Especially since I'm a pluralist.), but when we hit upon the same notion independently of one another's influence, it makes sense why we've been hitting it off well as friends.

As an aside, I think some of the best hugs I've ever gotten that didn't come from my girlfriend came from her. Just thought I'd mention that in passing.

It's ironic that few people our age don't get intimidated by Sacha when they get to know her. It's even more ironic that these few people are the ones least likely to court her, inasmuch as my case indicates, since I feel that the only time I can see her as a genuinely wonderful human being and not as a trophy of sorts is when I'm just very good friends with her. I hesitate to use the term “best friend”, as I've been burned by that title too many times in the past...

... so I ask myself again, as I did last time, "What does it take for a Marcelle Fabie to become best friends with a Sacha Chua?"

Quite simple, really: when they treat each other like one, regardless of how they "label" (Or, more aptly, refuse to "label".) one another.

So thank you so much for last night's wonderful company, Sach. My phase with you is more or less over, and I'm glad that only good things came out of all this...