Mark Twain once defined a sound bite as “a minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.”

So this quote, from The New York Times’ “Riches to Rags for New York Teenager Who Admits His Story Is a Hoax,” makes a lot of sense. The reporter asks the subject if he had in fact made any money at all.

Mark Twain once defined a sound bite as “a minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.”

More sense, less sound If sound bites are, as Mark Twain said, “a minimum of sound to a maximum of sense,” how much sense does a 100+-word PR quote make? Image by Namroud Gorguis

So this quote, from The New York Times’ “Riches to Rags for New York Teenager Who Admits His Story Is a Hoax,” makes a lot of sense. The reporter asks the subject if he had in fact made any money at all.

But how much sense does this quote, from a release posted on PRNewswire recently, make?

“My partner Rick Sullivan and I are thrilled to announce the addition of MSDP to our portfolio” said Tom Callahan, Managing Director at Lincolnshire. “Under the leadership of a talented management team, MSDP has developed into a world-class performance automotive business managing great brands and boasting key strengths in both ignition and electronic tuning technologies. MSDP provides the ideal partner for Holley, a Lincolnshire portfolio company that is the leading manufacturer and marketer of performance fuel and exhaust systems. Together, these two iconic franchises, Holley and MSDP, will serve future generations of brand conscious street performance enthusiasts, hot rodders and racers with innovative new products and category-leading lines of refreshed, rejuvenated and improved versions of existing products.”

For the reporter’s perspective, I pulled three such quotes for a column I was writing for PRSA Tactics. However, I was able to use only one, because at 100 to 200 words, each sucked up 20% to 40% of my word count.

Mark Twain once defined a sound bite as “a minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.”

That doesn’t make sense at all.

So how long should your corporate quotes be? Keep them to:

1. 20 words or less, plus attribution

Twenty words is the average length of a quote in one issue of The New York Times, which Wylie Communications analyzed a couple of years ago. (We skipped the sports pages.)

We found that, excluding attribution, The New York Times’:

Average length of a quote was 19 to 20 words.

Median length was 18 words.

Most common length, with 22 examples in one day, was 7 words.

Can you write like the Times? Here’s what quotes of this length look like:

20 words:

“An officer can gain no Fourth Amendment advantage,” the chief justice wrote, “through a sloppy study of the laws he is duty-bound to enforce.”2

18 words:

“He knew he was deserting the Army and would be charged, but killing himself was a bigger sin,” said Brig. Gen. Stephen Xenakis, a retired Army psychiatrist who testified for the defense during the sentencing phase of the trial.3

7 words:

“You can predict behavior you can’t observe,” said Aleksander Obabko, a computational engineer at Argonne.4

As long as you’re writing like the Times, why not target the news giant’s 7-word most-common length instead of its 20-word average?

Benchmark your preferred media outlets. How long are their quotes? How long are yours?

2. Pass the 1-2-3 Test.

When you write quotations, usually:

1 sentence is enough.

2 are OK.

3 are too many.

So DO write quotes like these, from the Times:

1 sentence (15 words):

“You would think increased competition would cause price to go down, but it’s the opposite,” said Dr. Stein, the study’s author, who was then a student at Temple University School of Medicine.5

2 sentences (16 words):

“The climate is now out of equilibrium with the ice sheets,” said Andrea Dutton, a geochemist at the University of Florida who studies global sea levels. “They are going to melt.”6

DON’T write quotes like this — a 4-sentence, 177-word quote from a release on PR Newswire:

“Operating results were in line with our expectations for the seasonally small quarter. We were pleased with the solid growth in our trade business, both in the U.S. and internationally, confirming the expanding market for quality children’s books,” said Richard Robinson, Chairman, President and Chief Executive Officer. “As we begin the new school year, educators and families are still adapting to higher standards and more challenging tests, and are more focused than ever on independent reading as a critical tool to help young people develop higher level thinking skills that lead to success. The need for more books that kids want to read is a key growth driver for all of our businesses, including our Education segment which delivered first quarter gains in classroom books and summer reading book packs. With its closely aligned core businesses, Scholastic is in a unique position to offer customizable, comprehensive literacy solutions, including books for independent reading delivered through clubs and fairs, classroom magazines and instructional reading and writing programs, along with consulting and services for Professional Learning and Family and Community Engagement and Learning Supports, in tailored offerings to meet the specific needs of its customers.”

That’s a maximum of sound to a minimum of sense.

3. Even better: Make it 1 sentence.

Did I say 1-2-3? Let’s make it 1.

“Peel back the quote to one great sentence,” suggests Jacqui Banaszynski, associate managing editor at The Seattle Times.

Carving out the most provocative sentence alone can make your quote more interesting. Indeed, some of the most interesting quotes in The New York Times were just one sentence long.

Model quotes like these, from the Times:

“You would think increased competition would cause price to go down, but it’s the opposite,” said Dr. Stein, the study’s author, who was then a student at Temple University School of Medicine.8

And:

When [Pope Francis] identified himself, the astonished telephone operator at the Jesuit Curia said his first thought was, “Sure, and I’m Napoleon.”9

And stop writing quotes like this — a 4-sentence, 177-word quote from a release on PR Newswire:

“My partner Rick Sullivan and I are thrilled to announce the addition of MSDP to our portfolio” said Tom Callahan, Managing Director at Lincolnshire. “Under the leadership of a talented management team, MSDP has developed into a world-class performance automotive business managing great brands and boasting key strengths in both ignition and electronic tuning technologies. MSDP provides the ideal partner for Holley, a Lincolnshire portfolio company that is the leading manufacturer and marketer of performance fuel and exhaust systems. Together, these two iconic franchises, Holley and MSDP, will serve future generations of brand conscious street performance enthusiasts, hot rodders and racers with innovative new products and category-leading lines of refreshed, rejuvenated and improved versions of existing products.”

That’s a lot of sound.

So what if we peeled that quote back to one great sentence?

1. First, highlight the most interesting parts of the quote.

Digging through all of the chest-pounding and self-adulation, I find this promising phrase:

2. Now peel it back to one great sentence

.
If there’s nothing to interest readers in the quote, you might have to go out and dig up more details. Note that I’ve left a spot here for reader benefits:

“Hot rodders, racers and other street performance enthusiasts will now be able to do XX better, thanks to our merger,” Callahan says.

Take the one-sentence-quote pledge: Try limiting your quotes to a single sentence for the next month, and watch your sound bites become tighter and more interesting.

3. Aim for 8 to 14 words.

But how long’s a sentence?

Aim for 8 to 14 words per sentence. At that length, according to research by the American Press Institute, and readers will understand 90% to 100% of your sentence, regardless of whether it’s quoted material.

For instance, this 3-sentence, 111-word PR quote is boring and hard to understand:

“We are pleased to begin collaborating with NESI, a comprehensive solar developer, and believe that together our companies will drive the adoption of BIPV and agricultural solar applications in China,” commented Mr. Gang Wang, Vice President of Sales of Yingli Green Energy. “Our new partnership with NESI exemplifies Yingli’s strategic effort to expand relationships with China’s leading private enterprises, which has resulted in 350 MW of supply agreements with cash before delivery in 2015. With demand expected to grow in China through the second half of 2015, Yingli is focused on expanding our domestic footprint by strengthening our customer relationships and continuing to supply our high-quality products to this key market.”

In fact, with its average sentence length of 28 words, according to the American Press Institute, that quote will get less than 60% understanding.

In other words, it makes almost no sense.

This 3-sentence, 39-word quote from The New York Times, on the other hand, is much more interesting and easier to read:

Called the “great train robber” by The Daily Mail, Mr. Burrows was stopped on Nov. 19, 2013, at the exit gates of the Cannon Street Station in London for not buying a ticket while traveling on a Southeastern commuter train to London from East Sussex.24

2 words:

A classroom for older children had computers and a sign saying: “Welcome! Bienvenido!”25

1 word

The newspaper asked Mr. Islam if he had in fact made any money at all.

Too many quotes don’t even sound human. Instead, they clatter in your ear like a computer spit them out.

Add personality to your quotes through passion, humanity and colloquialisms.

Make it personal.

When two-thirds of Californians failed every question on a fast food nutrition quiz, the California Center for Public Health Advocacy distributed a release including this sound bite. The subject matter expert makes the story personal by talking about his own experience with the quiz:

Too many quotes don’t even sound human. Instead, they clatter in your ear like a computer spit them out.

Stand out from the crowd Write quotes that sound like a real person said them, not like a computer spit them out. Image by Brooke Cagle

Add personality to your quotes through passion, humanity and colloquialisms.

Make it personal.

When two-thirds of Californians failed every question on a fast food nutrition quiz, the California Center for Public Health Advocacy distributed a release including this sound bite. The subject matter expert makes the story personal by talking about his own experience with the quiz:

“I have a doctorate in public health, and I failed this quiz,” says Dr. Harold Goldstein, executive director of the California Center for Public Health Advocacy, who commissioned the poll. “And common sense does not help either. Who would think that a large chocolate shake at McDonald’s has more calories than two Big Macs?”

Take me there.

In another release, spokespeople for the California Center for Public Health Advocacy demonstrate how hard it is to intuit the number of calories in a fast food item. The quote pulls me into the room and the demonstration:

“In a Capitol room thick with the smell of fast food and breakfast entrees, proponents of Senate Bill 120 (Padilla-D Los Angeles), the proposed nutrition menu labeling law, dramatically illustrated why this legislation needs to be signed by the Governor.

“‘You choose,’ Assemblyman Mark DeSaulnier prompted the crowded room as he displayed a plate with two Big Macs, one with four hamburgers and a tall chocolate milkshake. ‘Which has the most calories?’ Except for two insiders who admitted they had seen the study before, not one of the guests in the room chose the milkshake with its whopping 1,160 calories.”

Show some emotion.

This quote from a Silver Anvil Award-winning campaign by the Illinois Coalition for Competitive Telecommunications does just that. As a result, it makes a yawn of a topic — telecom deregulation — interesting:

“This bill is an outrage,” said Gary Mack, executive director of the Illinois Coalition for Competitive Telecommunications (ICCT). “Businesses and consumers in Illinois have been suffering through the worst service problems in history because of (XYZ Corp.), and now the company is asking us to trust them to provide good service at a good price without any oversight? Do they think we’re nuts?”

Help us hear him.

This quote — from a Silver Anvil Award-winning campaign for Xerox Corporations’ office makeover contest — is attributed to “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’s” Thom Filicia. Because we’ve seen him on TV, we can literally hear him say:

“Before, their office was just tragic! But now it’s really hip, sophisticated and professional, and it will help inspire them to grow and do more great work,” said Filicia.

Bottom line: At the very least, your quotes should convey humanity, passion and a point of view.

Write Killer Bites

Turn lame-ass quotes into scintillating sound bites

Half of reporters complain that quotes in releases don’t sound natural, according to a 2014 Greentarget survey. Maybe that’s why 78% of them don’t regularly use quotes from releases.

No wonder! As one of my clients says, “Quotes in news releases sound like the teacher in a Charlie Brown cartoon: ‘Wah wah wah wah.’”

When the Federal Trade Commission needed to explain why the agency has decided not to develop a do-not-spam registry — officials feared that spammers would target people on the list — a spokesperson said:

“You’ll be spammed if we do — and spammed if we don’t.”

You’ve got to love that sound bite! How can you craft such a memorable, quotable line for your copy? One approach is to list, rhyme and twist.… Read the full article

When the Federal Trade Commission needed to explain why the agency has decided not to develop a do-not-spam registry — officials feared that spammers would target people on the list — a spokesperson said:

“You’ll be spammed if we do — and spammed if we don’t.”

Sound off with sound bites Craft memorable quotes with twist of phrase. Image from shutterstock

You’ve got to love that sound bite! How can you craft such a memorable, quotable line for your copy? One approach is to list, rhyme and twist. Here’s how:

1) List.

Write down the key or topic words from your article.

Then expand your list. The more words, the better. Try synonyms, antonyms and different forms of your key word — “spam,” “spams,” “spammed” and “spamming,” for instance.

28% use quotes from releases only when they’re on deadline and can’t get an interview.

28% use quotes from releases regularly.

What’s their beef?

50% complain that the language doesn’t sound natural.

34% say the quotes aren’t substantive enough.

Only 9% have no complaints about the quotes.

“Please don’t make me wade through a bunch of boilerplate, taglines and patting-ourselves-on-the-back quotes to find out if the news release is relevant,” begs one journalist surveyed by Greentarget.

Another writes: “I dislike press releases that have ‘spin.’ I just want the facts. Not a sales pitch, not canned quotes about how fantastic the person/company/event is.”

‘Don’t sound natural’

These aren’t unreasonable complaints, considering the wah wah that passes for quotes in releases these days.

Here are three quotes from releases posted on PRNewswire recently. (I could show only one in my PR Tactics column, because these suckers weigh in at more than 100 words each — 20% of my word count. Think about that for a minute.)

“My partner Rick Sullivan and I are thrilled to announce the addition of MSDP to our portfolio,” said Tom Callahan, Managing Director at Lincolnshire. “Under the leadership of a talented management team, MSDP has developed into a world-class performance automotive business managing great brands and boasting key strengths in both ignition and electronic tuning technologies. MSDP provides the ideal partner for Holley, a Lincolnshire portfolio company that is the leading manufacturer and marketer of performance fuel and exhaust systems. Together, these two iconic franchises, Holley and MSDP, will serve future generations of brand conscious street performance enthusiasts, hot rodders and racers with innovative new products and category-leading lines of refreshed, rejuvenated and improved versions of existing products.”

“We are pleased to begin collaborating with NESI, a comprehensive solar developer, and believe that together our companies will drive the adoption of BIPV and agricultural solar applications in China,” commented Mr. Gang Wang, Vice President of Sales of Yingli Green Energy. “Our new partnership with NESI exemplifies Yingli’s strategic effort to expand relationships with China’s leading private enterprises, which has resulted in 350 MW of supply agreements with cash before delivery in 2015. With demand expected to grow in China through the second half of 2015, Yingli is focused on expanding our domestic footprint by strengthening our customer relationships and continuing to supply our high-quality products to this key market.”

“Operating results were in line with our expectations for the seasonally small quarter. We were pleased with the solid growth in our trade business, both in the U.S. and internationally, confirming the expanding market for quality children’s books,” said Richard Robinson, Chairman, President and Chief Executive Officer. “As we begin the new school year, educators and families are still adapting to higher standards and more challenging tests, and are more focused than ever on independent reading as a critical tool to help young people develop higher level thinking skills that lead to success. The need for more books that kids want to read is a key growth driver for all of our businesses, including our Education segment which delivered first quarter gains in classroom books and summer reading book packs. With its closely aligned core businesses, Scholastic is in a unique position to offer customizable, comprehensive literacy solutions, including books for independent reading delivered through clubs and fairs, classroom magazines and instructional reading and writing programs, along with consulting and services for Professional Learning and Family and Community Engagement and Learning Supports, in tailored offerings to meet the specific needs of its customers.”

Transform the wah wah.

How do you get the wah wah out of your release quotes? Make quotes:

1. Short. While PR quotes measure in the triple digits, journalists use much shorter quotes. In fact, the average length of a quote in a recent issue of The New York Times, not including attribution, was between 19 and 20 words, according to a 2015 Wylie Communications analysis. The most common length: seven words.

So “peel the quote back to one great sentence,” counsels Jacqui Banaszynski, a chaired editing professor at the University of Missouri.

How about:

“Hot rodders, racers and other street performance enthusiasts will now be able to do something better &lbrack;we can’t figure out what from the release&rbrack;, thanks to our merger,” Callahan says.

“The program curriculums are currently being designed and prepared to launch first class this fall with all classes online in 2016,” stated Pierre Voltaire, the Educational Program Coordinator Consultant.

3. Personable. Clearly, no human ever uttered the words, “MSDP provides the ideal partner for Holley, a Lincolnshire portfolio company that is the leading manufacturer and marketer of performance fuel and exhaust systems.” Just as no human has ever sought “customizable, comprehensive literacy solutions.”

Write quotes that sound human, not like a computer spit them out. Here’s one to model, from a Pulitzer Prize-winning series in the New York Daily News about the declining health of 9/11 rescue workers:

“I’m begging for someone to help me,” Valenti said. “I do not want to die.”

4. Creative. Quotes should sound like more than just the most basic parts of human speech. Make your executive seem eloquent — even interesting. Here’s a New York Times quote by former New York mayor Ed Koch on political consultant David Garth:

Edward R. Murrow said of Winston Churchill: “He mobilized the English language and sent it into battle.”

He rallied the British, defied the Nazis and inspired the United States to fight. Some say he saved the Western world with his words.

“Never, never, never give up.”

He was captured by the Boers and escaped. He wrote about his military adventures in newspaper articles and books. By 1899, he was one of the highest paid and best known British war correspondents.… Read the full article

Edward R. Murrow said of Winston Churchill: “He mobilized the English language and sent it into battle.”

Word from the wise Some say Winston Churchill saved the Western world with his words. So why not model your executive quotes after his? Image by Laurel L. Russwurm

He rallied the British, defied the Nazis and inspired the United States to fight. Some say he saved the Western world with his words.

“Never, never, never give up.”

He was captured by the Boers and escaped. He wrote about his military adventures in newspaper articles and books. By 1899, he was one of the highest paid and best known British war correspondents.

“Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.”

In 1900, when Churchill came to the United States for a lecture tour, he was introduced by Mark Twain.

“There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.”

He coined phrases like “Finest Hour,” “Never give in” and “Iron Curtain.” He showed that words can change people’s minds and move them to act.

“Of all the talents bestowed upon men, none is so precious as the gift of oratory.”

He won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1953 for his contributions to the written word. In his spare time, he wrote 40 books in 60 volumes and painted more than 500 paintings.

“Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement; then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then a tyrant.”

His words still inspire, 50 years after his death. He’s been quoted by presidents — and on Angelina Jolie.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

May I ask why every corporate communicator on the planet isn’t using Churchill as her personal and professional muse? Why don’t we model his words every time we write a speech, a sound bite or an executive message?

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”

Stop modeling tedious executive quotes.

One problem with executive quotes is that we model them after other executive quotes. That’s how we wind up putting together ridiculous lines like these, from the UK Press quote generator:

Every day, your readers get way too much to read. In fact, according to a study by USC’s Annenberg School for Communication, your readers are bombarded with the data equivalent of 174 newspapers — ads included — every single day.

In this environment, readers get through the day by skipping most of the messages they receive.

In fact, each day, your readers select just a tiny sliver — a fraction — of all the incoming information.… Read the full article

Every day, your readers get way too much to read. In fact, according to a study by USC’s Annenberg School for Communication, your readers are bombarded with the data equivalent of 174 newspapers — ads included — every single day.

Is it juicy? Good for me? Easy? Increase your chances that readers will read your message with Wilbur Schramm’s Fraction of Selection model. Image from Shutterstock

In this environment, readers get through the day by skipping most of the messages they receive.

In fact, each day, your readers select just a tiny sliver — a fraction — of all the incoming information. They say, “This, I’ll read.” And everything else goes into the trash.

So how do they select that fraction?

Ask Wilbur Schramm.

Godfather of communication

Think of Wilbur Schramm (1907-1987) as a Mad Man. He was a communication theorist during most of the 20th century, around the time David Ogilvy and others were starting to scientifically analyze what works and what doesn’t in writing.

Godfather of communication studies and research: Wilbur Schramm created the Fraction of Selection model.

Schramm created the first communication studies program, spread the field to universities across the country and trained the first generation of communication scholars. Which means that if you have a degree in communications, you are a direct descendant of Wilbur Schramm.

He wrote 30 books during his lifetime. Your Communication 101 textbook was probably based on his Mass Media in Modern Society, which became the prototype for all Communication 101 textbooks.

If you have a degree in Communications, you are a direct descendant of Wilbur Schramm.

If you’ve ever had to memorize a model like “Sender > Receiver > Feedback > Interference,” blame Wilbur Schramm. He either created those models or reported them in his textbooks.

Now, I never wake up in the morning and say, “‘Sender > Receiver > Feedback > Interference’: How can I apply that today?”

But I wake up every morning and ask myself, “How can I apply Wilbur Schramm’s Fraction of Selection model today?”

The Fraction of Selection model

The Fraction of Selection model answers the question: How do readers decide what to read?

More gain, less pain The Fraction of Selection model shows how readers choose what to read. Image by Ann Wylie

According to Schramm, when contemplating that huge stack of messages they receive each day, our readers ask:

“What will I get out of this?” vs. “What do I have to put into it?”

Your readers are just like you. In reading and in life, we’re looking for more gain, less pain. So:

When you increase the gain, or reward, of reading, you’ll increase readership.

When you reduce the pain, or effort required, of reading, you’ll increase readership.

When you do both of these things at the same time, you’ll really dramatically increase readership.

To apply this formula to our own work, the first thing we need to ask is, “What are the rewards of reading?”

Rewards of reading

So what makes people decide to read? Rewards of reading include:

Information I can use to live my life better. Does your piece help readers make money, save money or get a Jennifer Lopez body while sitting on the couch eating Cheez Whiz from the jar with a spoon? That’s information they can use to live their lives better.

Entertainment. Are you using creative techniques like human interest, metaphor or storytelling? Are you making your readers laugh, cry or shoot Diet Coke across the room from their noses? That’s entertainment.

We have now exhausted all of the benefits of reading. That’s it. “Information I can use to live my life better” and entertainment are the only tools we have to draw readers into our message. Of course, you could always do both at the same time!

But no matter how much you increase the reward of reading, your results get slashed by how hard it is to read. So to keep readers from running screaming from the room when they contemplate your message, you need to work both sides of Schramm’s equation.

You must also reduce the effort required.

Effort required

How much does effort affect reading?

Let’s say I’ve convinced you that if you read this message, you’ll be able to make $1 million by the end of the month — ethically, legally and morally. I’m guessing you’d read the piece: Some 99.97% of the audiences in my writing workshops say they would.

But what if I told you that this message is 6,000 pages long, presented in one-point type — Shakespearian Gothic font. It’s black type on a 98% black screen. No leading. The entire 6,000 pages is one-sentence long, and there isn’t a word in here that has fewer than 14 syllables.

What would you read for $1 million? A 6,000-page sentence with 14-syllable words in Shakespearian Gothic font? Me neither.

Would you still try? In my classes, we lose between 75% and 95% of our readers when they learn of the huge effort required to read the piece. And this with a reward — a million bucks! — that’s so huge, few of us will ever be able to offer it.

So we need to work both sides of Schramm’s equation: Reduce the effort as well as increasing the reward.

About that Wilbur Schramm …

Just so you know Schramm was ahead of his time and knew a little something about this communication business …

In a 1959 interview, Schramm predicted: “It is conceivable that you will be carrying around your own telephone within [the next 10 years]. Readers would be able to phone the news distribution center and say: ‘Send me three columns of last night’s hockey game and a full review of the Cuban situation.'”

Think Like a Reader

It’s counterintuitive, but true: The product is never the topic. The program is never the topic. The plan is never the topic. The topic is never the topic. The reader is always the topic.

Indeed, the secret to reaching readers is to position your messages in your audience’s best interests. (Most communicators position their messages in their organization’s best interests. Which is fine, as long as you’re talking to yourself.)

Move readers to act with a four-step process for giving people what they really want.

Screenwriter Nora Ephron long remembered the first day of her high school journalism class.

Ephron’s teacher announced the first assignment: to write the lead for a story to appear in the student newspaper. He told them the facts:

“Kenneth L. Peters, the principal of Beverly Hills High School, announced today that the entire high school faculty will travel to Sacramento next Thursday for a colloquium in new teaching methods.… Read the full article

Screenwriter Nora Ephron long remembered the first day of her high school journalism class.

Main event Don’t tell me about your event. Tell me what I’ll be able to do at your event. Image by rawpixel

Ephron’s teacher announced the first assignment: to write the lead for a story to appear in the student newspaper. He told them the facts:

“Kenneth L. Peters, the principal of Beverly Hills High School, announced today that the entire high school faculty will travel to Sacramento next Thursday for a colloquium in new teaching methods. Among the speakers will be anthropologist Margaret Mead, college president Dr. Robert Maynard Hutchins, and California governor Edmund ‘Pat’ Brown.”

Ephron and the other budding journalists condensed the who, what, when, where and why of the story into a single sentence: “Governor Pat Brown, Margaret Mead, and Robert Maynard Hutchins will address the Beverly Hills High School faculty Thursday in Sacramento …”

The teacher reviewed the leads, then paused for a moment.

“The lead for this story,” he said, “is ‘There will be no school next Thursday.’”

Not ‘just the facts, ma’am’

What’s the point of your news story? It’s probably not really the five W’s and the H. Instead of focusing on the event, focus in the impact, or how the news affects your readers.

Covering a:

Speech? Write about the most valuable thing the speaker said, not the fact that she spoke.

Event? Focus on what people will be able to see and do at the event, not the time, date and place.

Meeting? Center the piece on what was decided at the meeting and how it will affect the reader, not on the logistics of the meeting itself.

What would Miss Piggy do?

One way to do that is to shift your focus from event — what occurred, when, where and why — to impact. That will make your copy more interesting, relevant and valuable to your readers.

Think Like a Reader

Move people to act

It’s counterintuitive, but true: The product is never the topic. The program is never the topic. The plan is never the topic. The topic is never the topic. The reader is always the topic.

Indeed, the secret to reaching readers is to position your messages in your audience’s best interests. (Most communicators position their messages in their organization’s best interests. Which is fine, as long as you’re talking to yourself.)

Move readers to act with a four-step process for giving people what they really want.

If you wanted to keep teens from smoking weed, what message might you communicate?

Love is love is love is love … How do you keep the kids from smoking weed? Not by threatening their sex lives Image by Bart LaRue

One health organization, reports Guy Kawasaki in his book Enchantment, used the message that young people who smoked weed were five times more likely to engage in sex.

Have you ever met a 17-year-old football player? For that matter, have you ever met a 58-year-old writing coach?

Many humans — except perhaps for those who work for this one particular health organization — actually enjoy sex. I myself have met several people who feel their lives would be much less interesting without it.

One group tried to cut teen weed use by saying that weed smokers were 5 times more likely to have…Click To Tweet

Not to say that the five-times-less-sex message wouldn’t work on a different audience. If you were trying to convince parents, teachers or school board members to campaign against teen weed-smoking, then that data point might be compelling.

For most other audiences, though, the promise of five times more sex might just convince the most sober among us to wake and bake, nod off on the couch during all-day “I Love Lucy” marathons and come to surrounded by empty Cherries Garcia cartons.

And that’s the problem with this message: It has a WIIFM, or a “What’s in it for me?”

It just focuses on the wrong M.

Answer your reader’s No. 1 question.

The first thing your reader wants to know from your message is “What’s in it for me?” Advertising writers long ago shortened this term to WIIFM, pronounced “wiffum.”

So think like your readers:

Your customer readers don’t care that your organization is putting $100 million more into R&D this year. They want to know whether that means their computer will be faster and easier to use.

Your employee readers don’t care that your organization is adding $10 million to the profit-sharing coffers. They want to know whether that means they’ll be able to retire early.

Your media contacts don’t care that your organization has launched a revolutionary new toothpaste. They want to know whether it’s going to reduce their own readers’ dental bills.

I’ll tell you what happened to Step 1B. The internet happened to Step 1B. All of a sudden, we weren’t targeting our readers — our readers were targeting us.

Which meant that instead of targeting anybody, we were suddenly targeting everybody. (And remember what Mom said about trying to please everyone.)

There is a solution to this problem, and it is to have readers target themselves:

Offer separate doorways on your website. For a health care site, for instance, you might offer doors for patients and doctors — and never the twain shall meet. Understand that if I stumble onto my doctor’s webpages, I will decide that your site is not for me. And if my doctor finds herself on webpages targeted at my level of medical expertise, she will decide that your site isn’t for her. Target each of us, separately.

Offer separate social media feeds. A river runs through my city, and 14 bridges connect the east and west sides of town. If my bridge is closed, I want the DOT to tweet urgent updates every five seconds. But if your bridge is closed, I never want to hear about it at all. The solution: Offer separate Twitter streams for each bridge.

But every day, I work with communicators who don’t do that. Instead of targeting audience members or helping audience members target themselves, they target everyone.

Their every webpage is for all comers. Their all-in Twitter streams drown disparate followers in irrelevant messages. Their e-zines and newsletters go to employees, to customers, to legislators.

Even if the WIIFM that would compel one audience would repel the rest. (Remember: sex.)

We need Step 1B. Help me bring back Step 1B!

Because not all of your Me’s are the same. The rich, for example, are different.

The rich are different.

I’m not just saying this. It’s true: While most parents tend to teach their kids to prioritize the needs of the group over their own needs, wealthier parents tend to teach their kids to succeed on their own.

It shows up in charitable giving: Wealthy adults are less likely to share what they have with others.

They found in one study that wealthier people — those with incomes higher than $90,000 — were way more likely to click “Donate today!” when giving messages stressed individual achievement (“You = Life-Saver”) instead of emphasizing a common goal (“Let’s Save a Life Together”).

In another study, alumni from an elite business school gave $150 more on average when asked to “Come forward and take individual action” than when they were asked to join their community to “support a common goal.”

That’s their WIIFM.

That message won’t work for everyone. And that’s OK. It doesn’t have to. You can use the common-goal message with your less wealthy givers.

But do target your audience members and focus on what’s in it for them. That’s how you put the M in WIIFM.

Think Like a Reader

Move people to act

It’s counterintuitive, but true: The product is never the topic. The program is never the topic. The plan is never the topic. The topic is never the topic. The reader is always the topic.

Indeed, the secret to reaching readers is to position your messages in your audience’s best interests. (Most communicators position their messages in their organization’s best interests. Which is fine, as long as you’re talking to yourself.)

Move readers to act with a four-step process for giving people what they really want.

]]>https://www.wyliecomm.com/2018/08/whos-your-reader/feed/016073‘Say Goodbye to the 60-hour Work Week’https://www.wyliecomm.com/2018/08/say-goodbye-to-the-60-hour-work-week/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=say-goodbye-to-the-60-hour-work-week
https://www.wyliecomm.com/2018/08/say-goodbye-to-the-60-hour-work-week/#respondSun, 05 Aug 2018 05:00:21 +0000http://www.wyliecomm.com/?p=14649Steal techniques from this great WIIFM copy

You know that the topic is never the topic: The reader is the topic.

You’ve acknowledged that readers don’t care about “us and our stuff”; they care about themselves and their needs. You buy into the notion that the first thing your reader wants to know about your message is WIIFM, or What’s In It For Me.

Tick tock Give the reader what she wants: Don’t tell her about your video; tell her how much time she’ll save. Image by Lukas Blazek

You’ve acknowledged that readers don’t care about “us and our stuff”; they care about themselves and their needs. You buy into the notion that the first thing your reader wants to know about your message is WIIFM, or What’s In It For Me.

Now what?

The next step is to find some great WIIFM copy to model. And have I got a piece for you. Here’s Briefings Publishing Group’s promo for a how-to video. The WIIFM copy is well worth modeling.

Plus, it’s specific. Not “long hours at the office,” but “the 60-hour work week.” Don’t forget to quantify and specify your own marketing copy.

What’s important to understand is that the sharpest, most creative work can’t be done if you’re burned out. The most effective employees get away from the office to recharge. But that’s not always easy to do.

Here, we move back from the second person to the third. Not a great choice.

A braver, more benefits-oriented approach would be to speak directly to “you,” as in, “You can’t do your sharpest, most creative work when you’re burned out …”

That’s why we’ve created this new video Take Back Your Time: How to Manage Your Workload and Still Have a Life. Whether you’re a workaholic, last-minute adrenaline addict or simply just can’t say “no” to your colleagues’ requests, you’ll discover tips and tactics guaranteed to help you free up your time and get your life back, including:

It’s a smart choice to lead with the problem in the first paragraph and follow up with the solution in the second.

But instead of moving into first person plural (“we’ve created”), keep focusing on the reader (“Now you can make time to relax and recharge and ensure that your time spent in the office is creative and productive with our new video …”)

The second sentence is a masterpiece of you-focused benefits writing.

How to liberate yourself by identifying and tossing out the non-essentials.

How to be ready with these “enders” when you’re trapped in a never-ending conversation.

How to make a lifechanging “DON’T Do List.”

How to become a pro at exercising your ability to just say “No.”

How to get out of the office using the “quitting time buddy system.”

How to streamline and focus the two most critical work systems.

How to avoid the temptation to multitask, and much more!

This is a nice list of benefits, but a verb list would highlight the WIIFMs more effectively — and unload 14 words in repeated “How to’s.”

To create a verb list, set up the “how to” in the intro to the list: ” … you’ll discover tips and tactics guaranteed to help you free up your time and get your life back, including how to:”

Now you can start each bullet with a verb. See how much stronger this list is with bullets that begin “Liberate,” “Streamline” and “Avoid.”

Guideline: Start your lists with verbs whenever possible. It will condense your copy, activate your language and bring the benefits to the front of your list. Here’s how it works:

You’ll learn how to:

Liberate yourself by identifying and tossing out the non-essentials.

Free yourself from never-ending conversation by using these “enders.”

Make a lifechanging “DON’T Do List.”

Become a pro at exercising your ability to just say “No.”

Get out of the office using the “quitting time buddy system.”

Streamline and focus the two most critical work systems.

Avoid the temptation to multitask.

And much more!

All right: You’ve got your model; now use it. Reach more readers and sell more ideas when you write in WIIFMs, not about “us and our stuff.”

Think Like a Reader

Move people to act

It’s counterintuitive, but true: The product is never the topic. The program is never the topic. The plan is never the topic. The topic is never the topic. The reader is always the topic.

Indeed, the secret to reaching readers is to position your messages in your audience’s best interests. (Most communicators position their messages in their organization’s best interests. Which is fine, as long as you’re talking to yourself.)

Move readers to act with a four-step process for giving people what they really want.