The Mormon walking dead receive the temple (haunted house) nail through the veil and eat the flesh of Christ and drink his blood. Stick the unholy nail in you and drink the blood of Jesus! Suck the blood from his bleeding wrists! We desire all to receive it.

[MODERATOR NOTE: Shulem, you were doing so well for such a long time. But blatantly pornographic descriptions aren't allowed in the Telestial Forum, either.

Once more, please do not log into this site when you've been drinking.]

I honestly don't recall drinking while last posting here in telestial. I thought I put that behind me.

Anyway, what I view as R-rated material seems a bit much for you. In my view, I haven't posted anything x-rated or pornographic in a long time so I'm at a loss.

It seems you have a problem with the way I describe Elohim coming down to copulate with Mary to make baby Jesus. Perhaps, in the future, when bringing this matter up it would be appropriate to simply quote Brigham Young. Then I won't be censored for posting pornographic stuff. Does that sound fair?

Once more, please do not log into this site when you've been drinking.

Well hell, what is the fun in that?

_________________"Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn’t participate enthusiastically." - Robert Kirby

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. -- Henry Lawson

Yep, it's a classic. It certainly makes us think just how gross and bloody it is to think about nails piercing our hands and wrists while chanting bloody rites at the temple altar. The first token of the Melchizedek priesthood is all about piercing a nail into the palm of the hand, compliments of the temple worker all dressed in white -- everyone must get their hands stabbed by the priesthood nail.

Grab your partner by the ____ patriarchal grip or sure sign of the ____ Jesus nail and bleed them through the wrists. Holy mother ____, batman and batgirl.

_________________"Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn’t participate enthusiastically." - Robert Kirby

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. -- Henry Lawson

I left my bloody nail at the altar of the temple when I told the Holy Ghost to ____ off.

I hear you. I last went through the temple around 2002. I actually have a TR signed from 2007 which I got just at the request of the stake president to hold my EQP calling. Never used it. I'm embarrassed to admit I got married in the Logan Temple, while my Dad sat outside...couldn't get in because he was smoking cigarettes at the time. God I'm ashamed of that tidbit of my history.

I was fortunate, I guess, to have gone through the temple in 1989 before the church changed the ceremony and tried to bury some of these messy details down the memory hole. I have no doubt that members are already, and will increasingly deny these kind of tokens and penalties were ever part of the most sacred of sacred Mormon temple ceremonies.

But...it's not a cult.

_________________"Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn’t participate enthusiastically." - Robert Kirby

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. -- Henry Lawson

I was fortunate, I guess, to have gone through the temple in 1989 before the church changed the ceremony and tried to bury some of these messy details down the memory hole. I have no doubt that members are already, and will increasingly deny these kind of tokens and penalties were ever part of the most sacred of sacred Mormon temple ceremonies.

Right, future temple patrons will never believe that temple penalties were actual rituals practiced at the altar whereby the newly initiated endowed person covenants to slit their own throats and slash their bowels open rather than reveal the secret names and tokens.

I remember slitting my throat thinking it gave God pleasure because he delights in the shedding of blood. Just more blood to sprinkle on his ____ temple altar.

_________________"Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn’t participate enthusiastically." - Robert Kirby

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. -- Henry Lawson

_________________"Jesus gave us the gospel, but Satan invented church. It takes serious evil to formalize faith into something tedious and then pile guilt on anyone who doesn’t participate enthusiastically." - Robert Kirby

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. -- Henry Lawson

We will now give unto you the First Token of the Melchizedek Priesthood, or the Sign of the Nail, with its accompanying name and sign. This token is received by bringing the right hand into this position: the hand vertical, the fingers close together, and the thumb extended; and the person giving the token placing the tip of the forefinger of his right hand in the center of the palm, and the thumb opposite on the back of the hand of the one receiving it, in this manner.

Probably because the bones, sinews, and nerves have been pierced and severed to the point that crazy Jesus was unable to give the finger (as in ____ you) to the Romans who crucified him. In the meantime, Elohim was on his throne laughing his ass off.

11 When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets: