If you're in the New York area and were able to make it out to Soho last night for Fashion's Night Out, you're well-aware of the absolute ZOO that was Spring Street just outside of the DASH boutiquethe crowning NYC jewel of the Kardashian conglomerate. Not like that is really news to anyone since the DASH store always sees throngs of people clamoring to step within its doors, not necessarily to shop their selection of dresses and other pretty things but to catch a glimpse of one of those Armenian beauties. BUT make no mistake, last night WAS different. Very, very different. People queue for hours to get into this store on the reg without the slightest clue of whether one of the girls will be there. This time, not only was Kim Kardashian 100 percent CONFIRMED to be there, but she had also enlisted the musical help of our very own DJ Pauly D to spin and get the party started! Naturally, the general public response was LITERAL MAYHEM.

For much of the night, the entire block of Spring Street between Greene and Mercer was SHUT DOWN. And not in an unassuming "We turned the hose on and rented a bouncy castle, so come check it out! *mounts yellow caution banners to a tree with Scotch tape*" kind of way. No. No no no no no no. The place was locked down with cops, barricades, men with headsets in suits upon which their perspiring selves + humidity were no doubt wreaking aaaall classes of havoc because the street was swarming with SO MANY sardine-packed individuals strapped with digital cameras and smartphones and high-pitched squeals and even higher heels.

The sea of people that flocked to DASH for these reality TV giants was so large and frenzied, it unified as one sentient being that quaked at every tick of the beefy security guards fronting the boutique's doors. It moved like a body of water, a turbulent sea of human elation and white-knuckled anticipation and the intermingling of balmy flesh and hair spray. Guys, it was BA. NA. NAS. And would you believe I stood vigil out there WELL past the end of the party? I stood there, iPhone at the ready, on the corner of Spring and Greene, entranced by all the vigor of the crowd's collective fandom. And you better BUH-LIEVE I caught video of the frantic star-drunk asphalt swarm as the security guards pulled the ol' pretend-this-pizza-box-is-shielding-Kim-from-drizzle-but-really-there's-a-decoy-underneath routine. The joke's really on me, though, because after all that standing, my calves are withered and broken from the over-exertion, and I probably won't even be able to look at a platform for another week or two. Whatever, brogues are in, y'all. And it was worth it. Just knowing I was within three yards of that immaculate blowout? Duhhhhh, definitely. *sigh*