Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are
unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see
each other using sign language.

After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a
solution.

"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals?

For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left
breast one time.

If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time.

"The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if
you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time.

If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis ... fifty times"

Four brothers left home for college and they became successful doctors and lawyers and
prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they
were able to give their elderly mother who lived in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

The third said, "I had a Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read
anymore because she can't see very well."

"Well I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It
took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year
for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it."

"Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.

Mama wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have
to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but
all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it.
Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay at home and I have my groceries delivered, so I
never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to
your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank You."