C.A. Pinkham

Turns out Jon Stewart was right on the money about Chicago-style deep-dish "pizza."

Eater.com asked four chefs (Graham Elliot, David Posey, Mathieu Palombino, and Andrew Zimmern) for their opinions on Chicago-style deep-dish pizza, and all four said that it wasn't pizza. Well, three and a half, anyway; Palombino prevaricated and went from "it looks more like a cake than pizza" to "I wouldn't dare say, no this is not pizza" — and then gives a definition of pizza that is literally the opposite of Chicago-style deep-dish. So, 3/3 chefs agree (and 1/1 indecisive, non-answering tools don't really give an answer): Chicago deep-dish doesn't count as pizza.

To be fair, two of the chefs (Posey and Zimmern) also qualified their answer by saying they liked deep-dish; it just wasn't pizza. Which just leaves Elliot and I in the camp that it's a disgusting abomination better suited as a chipmunk swimming pool than something fit for human consumption. Oh, well, you can't win them all.