THE WAY WE LIVE NOW: 6-29-03: QUESTIONS FOR JESSE FRIEDMAN

THE WAY WE LIVE NOW: 6-29-03: QUESTIONS FOR JESSE FRIEDMAN; The Home Horror Movie

By Cindy Price

Published: June 29, 2003

Q: You were thrust into the spotlight recently when ''Capturing the Friedmans,'' the documentary movie about your family and the conviction of you and your father on charges of sexually abusing students who came to your house, had its premiere in New York. How is all this sudden attention sitting with you?

From the day I was arrested, I ceased to be anonymous. The 13 years I was in prison, everybody knew who I was. I was an infamous criminal. So I've just gotten used to -- I guess the sense of whatever privacy you sacrifice by not being anonymous. It has just become second nature to me; it's not just the film.

At screenings of the movie, you've been answering questions from the audience. What has been the most interesting one?

Someone said this question is for both Jesse and for the co-producer and asked, ''What is the movie about?'' And we both looked at each other and were both equally kind of dumbfounded. There's no real easy way to put in one sentence what this movie's about.

So what is the movie about? Have you figured it out?

The movie is about all the people whose lives were affected by the arrest of my father and me.

And what is the worst question you've been asked?

There were a few people who did not respond to the film the way the vast majority did. But I don't think that's in any way wrong. I'm not out trying to convince anybody of my innocence. I'd like to make that perfectly clear. The only thing I'm hoping for is that the people in the computer classes hear the message, see the film and they come forward and tell the truth.

What was your impression when your brother David first brought out the video camera after the police had begun investigating you and your father for molesting children in your father's after-school computer class?

There was no moment when we said let's videotape this family falling apart. We're not the Osbournes. The Osbournes know the cameras are on and they're going to end up on TV. We were just goofing around for the camera.

The public thinks you were recording all the time.

We weren't ''Big Brother.'' ''Big Brother'' is always being filmed. That's not what was going on inside the Friedman house. After the arrests, all the underlying dysfunction that was there just got aggravated and turned into this monster dysfunction. But for the most part growing up, it was dormant. We didn't scream and fight like that all the time. We did scream and fight, but not every day, because it's one thing to scream and yell about whose turn it is to do the dishes and another thing to have a big fight about the fact that your father's going to prison and is never going to get out.

Did you and your father ever discuss the case?

Sure, but Dad was not well. He was treated cruelly and harshly by the other inmates, and he was in anguish about the fact that he was in prison and he was going to die in prison and his wife had divorced him, his career was gone, his reputation was ruined, every friend he had for years abandoned him and his mistake sent his son to prison.

Did you ever write him trying to abate his guilt?

I was about to say I never blamed my father for what happened, but I came across a letter I wrote to my dad in December of 1988 where I was clearly mean toward him. It surprised me to see that at that particular juncture I was very angry at him. Did I ever try to abate my father's guilt? I guess no.

Your father died in prison. How has the documentary affected the rest of your family?

I still say everything is status quo. My brother David still has a lot of issues to work through. Mom says that she and my Uncle Howard reconnected after many years of not speaking to each other.

I take it you did not watch the film all together in one room.

We did not have a Friedman family reunion, no.

What would be the best thing to come out of this movie?

The conviction overturned, vacated and the charges dismissed would be very nice. But I don't know how far that would really go. It's not going to give me back my life. I still wouldn't have a job. I still would have this nightmare in my head. Happiness would come in a very different way. But I would also be pretty happy with a wife and two kids and a lawn to mow and decent job, a barbecue on a Saturday afternoon. Cindy Price