I Will Sleep Better Tonight Knowing This Criminal is Off the Streets

“When garden gnomes go missing in France, most are tempted to blame the shadowy Garden Gnome Liberation Front . The group has been linked to the disappearance of dozens of miniature garden residents over the years.

Not this time, however. Some 170 gnomes and other ornaments have been stolen in the north-western region of Bretagne recently. And it appears to be the work of a serial garden gnome thief acting on his own.

Police in the town of Mauron announced Tuesday that they had arrested a 53-year-old man on suspicion of stealing the gnomes. Investigators found around 170 stolen garden gnomes, deer figurines and other figures on the man’s property. The entire hoard was exhibited in the suspect’s garden, a mere 20 square meters (215 square feet) in size. Police described it as “a real mise en scène on green-painted stones.”

After the case was reported in the local press, police were inundated by telephone calls from dozens of local residents hoping to get back missing gnomes which they presumed had been stolen. However, local gendarmes admitted it was proving hard to return the abducted gnomes to their true owners — the purported gnome-snatcher had apparently re-painted some of the gnomes, making identification difficult.

The suspected thief could face a prison sentence for the mass gnome theft.”

Mass gnome theft… let’s ship the bastard to Guantanamo Bay, what with the orange jumpsuit, he’ll feel just like one of his “victims” (that would be gnomes). That was some fine investigative skills!

And by the way, I did not know there was a Garden Gnome Liberation Front. What a sheltered life I live!

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