I Am Over The Parenting Experts

I can hear the door creak ever so slightly, and I know it's my two oldest, ( let's call them Frick and Frack ) trying to sneak into our bed. The sun is streaming through the window, and I know I should probably be awake. I feel my husband give my hand a squeeze, and I know that's our secret code for : Do NOT move a muscle - do not breathe, do not even think of opening your eyes. They can sense if you're awake, and once they know, it's over. I already have my sleeping toddler's hand sprawled over one eye, so I have a bit of an advantage over my husband. Sorry 'boutcha boy. My husband coughs, and then they pounce. No, literally, they pounce. Everywhere. Have you ever seen the movie " Date Night " with Steve Carell and Tina Fey? I promise you, the morning scene in that movie is my life. Someone crept into my home, set up spy cameras, filmed us, and is now making money off of us. The minute my hubs and I saw this movie, we looked at each other laughing so hard, saying " oh sweet mercy, we are not alone "!

If you are shaking your head in agreement, you've been there, or are there. Are you sneaking a pretend " potty break " to check your phone? Look down at the ground where the door meets the floor. Are there a few sets of chubby hands trying to get in? If the answer is yes, then you know what it's like to have multiple kids. If the answer is no, but you are planning on children, I may have a little insight into the awesomely terrifying world. If the answer is no, with a oh heck no I'm never having kids, keep on reading. You will be able to relate better to your friends that always look like they have luggage for under eye bags.

We didn't plan on having kids so young, but we did. If I could get a do-over, I'd change nothing. My oldest two are Irish twins, born in the same year. They were 3 and 2 when my youngest was born. That's right 3 under 4. Crazy? Probs. Here are some pros and cons about having kids so close in age.

Con: They will be worst enemies. They will go from loving each other, to hating each other. Sometimes so fast your head will spin. Some things they will fight over include: ( but not limited to ) who got a bigger cookie, who got more snuggles, who has a bigger head, and who has a greener piece of paper.

Pro: They will also be best friends. They will always have a play mate. They will follow each other's lead, and teach each other all life has to offer. Like how to brush their teeth, or how to dunk daddy's toothbrush in the toilet and not tell him until after he used it. They will always have each other's back, and not tell who really dunked the toothbrush.

Con: Feeling like you're always " in the pooh " so to speak. One of my friends and her husband, who also have three, call it " being in (the adult word for) pooh. I'll watch my language, but you get the gist. More often than not, one is happy, one is grumpy, and one is poopy. You are always going, sometimes in circles, and there's always something or someone that needs attention.

Pro: They go through their stages together. Even if they are a year or less apart. They will be in diapers together, teeth together, have similar sleeping patterns, etc. When they are close, it makes it easy to stay in the baby stage, instead of feeling like you're starting over after waiting years.

Con: It. Is. Hard. I know right, shocker. You feel like you lose yourself a little, like who you were before kids is gone and somewhere under the dirty t-shirt, and 3 day old hair, there's the beauty that created those mini " you "s. You will have those days, you will get a shower and put on mascara, maybe a bra, and get through them.

Pro: The amount of love, and gratitude you feel after a long day is crazy beautiful. Those little humans just love so much it makes your heart burst. A lot of times as a mama you get it wrong, and no matter what, their love is unchanged. They forgive and forget and adore you all the same. They are so innocent, and pure, and that is what keeps you going. Hoping you can protect them from the crazy world.

I must admit, I'm kind of over the " experts " with their " it's better to wait a longer period of time between children ". They mostly say that with the first. I get it, when you have one you oogle over their every little coo, and cry. When it's time to think about if you will have more than one, you feel like you are betraying your first born. " I will never love another the same! " I'm here to say, you most def can. IF that's what you want.

The point is, there's no right way to make a family. I mean there's one way, ( winky face ) but I digress. You may not always have a say in your plans, but anyway your family is formed, is amazingly perfect, and you will be your own expert.