Archive for the Concert Category

I think Mariah Carey’s tits would be more impressive if they weren’t attached to a set of seriously broad fucking shoulders…..you know the only thing that impresses me about fat girl tits is when those fat girl tits are small and that only impresses me on a scientific level because it makes no fucking sense to me why her entire body can be so big, but the one thing you want to have big, as small and awkward looking, because they still have the same shitty sag and shape as fat girl tit cuz they are still fat girl tits just scaled down….not that you care.

I make fun of Pink for her manly features all the fucking time, but the truth is I like her songs, I like her voice, it is almost angelic, but I’m only saying that because a bitch in a tight dress named Angel who I accidentally brought home one night, despite her raspy voice and adam’s apple, tied me to the bed one night and sang me lullabyes before making me suck on her pacifier, which actually turned out to be a massive cock. It wasn’t a high point in my life, but I kinda got in over my head, kinda like what happened with Pink’s costume designer, who came up with this concept without realizing she’d stick to it by sticking on pasties, and the whole gender bending weirdness is too much for me to really appreciate, if anything it just confuses me, but tit is tit even if tit is on a muscular mound attached to someone who may or may not have testicles…

I hate Rihanna. I hate everything about her. I hate her success story about being a small Island girl who made it in America because there is nothing small Island girl about her. She’s loud, she got an ego, she’s high maintenance, I hRihanna, Launch Party, Concert
Rihanna’s 40 Minute Launch Party Concert of the Day

I hate Rihanna. I hate everything about her. I hate her success story about being a small Island girl who made it in America because there is nothing small Island girl about her. She’s loud, she got an ego, she’s high maintenance, I hear she treats the Bajans like they are below her when she goes back home, despite that she was considered poor compared to everyone else when she living there, before sucking off some record exec when she was 14 and threatened to ruin his life if he didn’t give her a record deal. I hate that she doesn’t remember where she’s from and I sure as fuck hope something happens where she ends up having to crawl home with her tail between her legs, cuz she’s a fuckin dog.

This is her launch party for a new album I hope bombs, but won’t cuz you assholes buy her shit and don’t realize Chris Brown had it right, he just didn’t have the balls to go all the way and rip her cunt throat out so that we don’t have to listen to her anymore….ear she treats the Bajans like they are below her when she goes back home, despite that she was considered poor compared to everyone else when she living there, before sucking off some record exec when she was 14 and threatened to ruin his life if he didn’t give her a record deal. I hate that she doesn’t remember where she’s from and I sure as fuck hope something happens where she ends up having to crawl home with her tail between her legs, cuz she’s a fuckin dog.

This is her launch party for a new album I hope bombs, but won’t cuz you assholes buy her shit and don’t realize Chris Brown had it right, he just didn’t have the balls to go all the way and rip her cunt throat out so that we don’t have to listen to her anymore….

Lady Gaga is still pulling her ridiculous and is wearing less and less clothes. I find her tedious and disgusting and I don’t know if she is a he or if she is just clowning all of us while exploiting all the gay cliches she can, but I do know that when she was in Toronto, I did grab her ass behind her security’s back and she didn’t seem to feel it or realize I was grabbin at her amongst the chaos, or if she did she didn’t care because when you are as ugly as her, you take all the touching you can get, but now I’m all confused as to whether that makes me gay. Eithery way, I probably should have done the world a favor and kidnapped her when I had the chance and chain her to a tree in the middle of the woods to fend against the elements in her pantless outfit.

I guess Britney’s been in concert for the last year or so and it makes me really wonder what condition the crotch of these pantless, vagina hugging costumes is in right now, but more importantly, how I am going to get my hands on the shit to give it a lick and see what it tastes like or whether it will get me high because knowing Britney’s hygiene, I am surprised these shit haven’t turned crotchless from the holes the acidity of her pussy juice and her sweat made, and I guess that doesn’t matter, and what does matter is that I have pictures of her performing the other night that look just like all the pics of her performances the last year because it is the same fuckin’ show….

If Beyonce was a boy she wouldn’t be wearing a fuckin’ one piece bathing suit, unless of course she was a cross dressing boy. If Beyonce had any fucking respect for others and wasn’t and self-loving bitch who thinks she’s better than the rest of the fuckin world, she wouldn’t be wearing a fucking one piece bathing suit, she’d cover her fat ass up.

Maybe this women’s liberation, independent woman, all the single ladies bullshit kick should take a fucking time out and stand in the fuckin’ corner where it belongs, because her fashion sense on stage may influence other fat girls to dress like this, thinking they are loving themselves, while alienating the men who would possibly consider fuckin’ them when drunk, because being face to face with their fat pantless crotch when not alone at their apartment, will usually make us walk the other fuckin’ way.

The best thing to come out of Columbia since cocaine has got to be Shakira. Not because she reminds Wyclef of a Westside Story, or even because her ass is amazing, but because Columbia is a good for nothing piece of shit country that should be erased from the fucking map, I’m just kidding, I’ve never been to Columbia, I know nothing about Columbia, but where the fuck was I supposed to go with this post, when everyone knows she is the best thing out of Columbia since cocaine because because her ass is amazing. There’s nothing fun in that. I’d rather start wars and shit disturb. So that said, fuck you Columbia, you third rate Mexican wannabe cocksuckers.

What’s that you’re saying? Lily Allen’s too fat to wear that outfit. Yep. She’s also too fat to have such small tits. Here she is performing. I could tell stories about fucking fat chicks with no tits, but they were all breast cancer survivors and there’s no humor in that.

I find Lady Gaga performing realy uninspiring. Bitch is like some annoying kid at a dinner party who won’t shut the fuck up about how bad she wants to be famous while doing a stupid fucking tap dance that makes you lock the motherfucker in the closet. Her shit is so over-the-top that it’s lame and above all she’s fucking ugly. Bitches like this need to go away, I don’t care how well she sings, she’s fucking useless and should be on bathroom floors ripping lines of coke of some DJs dick and not famous. The world is a shitty place, this is proof.

Here’s Pink performing while dressed like some kind of rooster or some shit. I really don’t have anything to say about this shit because I am falling the fuck asleep. I got drunk and wondered the streets last night and pretty much nothing happened to leave me inspired, and this concert costume isn’t really helping, sure I could talk about the time I met a guy who used to fuck chickens, usually raw from the grocery store, sometimes cooked, once live and in its egghole at some underground hispanic cock fighting ring, and he’d always talk about how there’s no logic to using your hand when the world offers you so many resources when it comes to masturbation, but that never happened, but Pink in this outfit did.

Vanilla Ice performed at some club recently. I guess it is nice that he’s still around, I mean how else could society survive without having some identity crisis to blame all that is wrong in the world on, but the truth is that Ice Ice Baby has become a legendary song, cooler artists with actual longevity don’t have the international recognition that this motherfucker and his stupid tattoos had. I don’t know what the hell’s going on at the show, you know with the girls freaking out because they’ll talk to anyone famous, or the psycho Santa Claus, but I do know it’s putting me in the Christmas spirit, I’m gonna go convince a girl on the bus to sit on my lap and tell me what she wants liek the good old days as a mall santa, some of my best memories of when I was suicidal.

Here’s some Vanilla Ice Apology for his Career Video…for some Virgin Ad….

Britney Spears brought her elaborate concert filled with smoke, mirrors, circus bullshit, dancing to distract the world from her doughy body, her insane brain, and the fact that she can’t sing. The good news is that she didn’t fall asleep halfway through the concert while eating mustard out of a jar, she didn’t try to hang herself off one of the props, and she did the whole thing showing off her mom body in a way that it didn’t look too much like a mom body, you know reminiscent of a simpler time, when she had one music video that played on repeat and I had cable and no job and she was 17 and I wasn’t and you know how this story ends.

Here are a shitload of her concert pictures, I wasn’t there, so what more do you expect me to say about it. I want to go to the one that happens in Montreal at the end of the month, I figure it’ll be a good place to abduct kids and the world can always use another amber alert…even though I’m sure he audience are people still latching on from 9 years ago, like me.

I asked for tickets on the site already and no one got back to me, I guess my dreams of meeting Britney before she dies will never be. Hit me baby one more time.

All I can hope for is she gets knocked up by another one of her bottom feeding back-up dancers who claims to be ungay. I feel like Britney needs more babies to live up to her destiny of being a deadbeat mom from the gutter.

Who cares what I think, here are the pics.

Here are some performance videos if you care, I don’t really, but figured I went to this much trouble, why the fuck not post them…

Britney Spears Performing Me Against The Music in the India Shit…

Performing Baby One More Time in the Black Bra Shit

Performing Breathe On Me with Her Nipple Tassels

I am sure there are a lot more – but I’ve played the 13 year old girl angle enough for one night….wow…this post makes me look like a real big fag in love with all things Britney…I just like her tits…yeah that took back my manhood….

The funny thing about Jessica Simpson’s weight gain is that shit happened overnight, I mean sure we all saw her struggle with it her entire career, with titties like that, it was just a matter of time before the rest of her followed, but she went from tight to sloppy over the fucking holidays or some shit and that’s some serious binge eating. Sure it’s probably gotta do with her getting older and her metabolism getting slower and maybe with realizing that the Country world is more accepting of you when you look like farm animals or Winonna Judd, but I think it has to do with emotional eating that stems from feeling inadequate, but that’s just because that’s how I like all my girls.

I don’t know why anyone gives a fuck about whether she’s fat or not, or why she’s trying to dress like a fat chick trying to hide the fat chick in her by using fashionable tricks, to make her look skinny, something that always makes me laugh when my wife tries to pull it off, like when she comes to me and says “does this vertical stripped black shirt make me look thin” and I have to tell her than no optical illusion, drug, would make her look skinny, not even fucking blindness would make her look skinny, because his heightened sense of sound would force him to listen to both you choking on your fucking chin, but more importantly getting fatter by the fucking minute.

I have a crush on Rihanna. It may be because I’ve never had the opportunity to get with a black girl in my life of perversion, or maybe I’m just drawn to her story of success. You know a small island girl who randomly sleeps with a superstar record producer when he is on vacation away from his fat fiance and gets a record deal to keep her mouth shut, who manages to turn that deal into hit after fucking hit after fucking hit, all while performing in dominatrix and fetish gear and not taking it to the pussy grabbing level, but I’m pretty sure it has to do with having never been with a black chick and sitting here on a whole pile of jungle fever in my pants, which I’d take any day over that other african disease…AIDS. Yes, it’s not just the gay disease anymore.

Jessica Simpson realized that having a big mouth no only helps in her singing, but also has had a huge affect on how much food she can shovel into her goddamn mouth. I don’t care that she got fat, she’s pretty much been off my radar the last few months and it was totally expected, but I figured I’d post these concert pictures that came out since the last fat scandal, and it may be safe to say that although she may be thicker, she’s not as fat as I’d like her to be, you know fat enough to know there’s some serious emotional problem that I can ridicule, instead, she’s just a little thicker, like any girl is when she gets a boyfriend…all she needs is to get dumped and she’ll be back on track, but I have a feeling Romo is making her this way because he wants he all for himself and doesn’t want all these men after her all while making her look and feel like one of the defensive linemen he’s got a crush on when she fucks him up the ass with various household objects. It’s a win/win situation in his closet case life.