Wednesday, 29 January 2014

On "Fake Nerd Girls"

You may or may not have heard that some controversy has been making
the rounds lately, of certain people claiming that there’s a subset of
girls in the nerd scene that are “fake”, that are only in it… what,
because nerd stuff is cool now? To find themselves a man? I don’t know.

Look, this is the most asinine thing I’ve heard nerds say in a long time.

Its
very simple, if you’re at a geek event (be it a gaming night, a con,
the local gaming store, or whatever), and you see a girl there and you
don’t know if she’s a “fake nerd girl” or not, ask yourself these two
simple questions, genius:

1. Is she being paid to be there?

2. Has she been clearly reluctantly dragged there by a
soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend even though she clearly has no interest in the
proceedings?

If its not either of the above, then she’s a real nerd girl, you morons.

No really, I understand, you spent your entire life thinking “I can’t
get a girlfriend because I’m a nerd and girls don’t think we’re cool”,
and now nerd-everything IS cool, and yet you still don’t have a
girlfriend. Well guess what, its not because the girls are just
“pretending” to like superheroes or RPGs or Star Wars or LoTR or board
games, or any of the other stuff you like, its not that “if only she was
a REAL nerd girl then she’d like me”; its just YOU.

There were plenty of us who were able to have and keep girlfriends
back when nerd stuff wasn’t cool, and likewise, those of you who are
odious enough not to be capable or deserving of either Attempted
Reproduction or Human Companionship are not going to be any less odious
to a girl because she thinks Legolas is dreamy. Its legolas she likes,
not you.

The good book said it best, I think, when it sayeth (AL 2:57) “He
that is righteous shall be righteous still; he that is filthy shall be
filthy still”.

In this case, filthy is pretty much literal.

So get over it, dudes, the Nerd Girls are real, its your excuse for why you didn’t have a girlfriend that turned out to be fake.