How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

...

It sounds to me as though you're infatuated with him because you can't have him. I bet, that if you actually got with him, you'd soon get very bored and dump him because the chase is over and no more challenge and excitement... happens all the time.

It sounds to me like he was a good challenge, hence the reason why you're so hung up on him now. He knows how to play women and get them obsessing over him.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 994379

I don't get that sense at all. The clues are in the OP's posts, especially the first one.

Quoting: Life and Love

Women and their hair trigger emotions... so easy to manipulate. This guy knows it and gets off on it. Toughen up OP, or you'll keep getting manipulated and taken advantage of by predatory narcissistic men.

See this as a lesson to learn from.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 994379

Most people are more addicted to the actual 'chase'. Couple that with the fact the dude has a gf and OP feels even more of a 'rush' to 'win'.

This never plays out well, OP. Once you get him, you will tire of him fast, since what you crave is the hunt and the win.

then you leave a wake of destruction in your path by splitting up a couple.

guaranteed if he was single he wouldn't seem so attractive. some people are drawn to people in relationships for reasons hidden on much deeper levels.

what goes around comes around. Be a friend to him, but if he is in a serious relationship, show some respect. how would you feel if some ho was making the moves on your bf?

Quoting: mk ultra 5813027

I didn't realize he was in a relationship all the time I known him. After I found out, I pulled back.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

"What does this mean? It means you be very open and honest with him about your feelings, HOWEVER, you also MUST let him know that you acknowledge the fact that he's in a relationship AND you respect it!! By doing this, you are NOT playing any games with him."

Making it known to him will feed his narcissism, then his gf will find out and there will be a huge catfight.

This advice sux.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4537432

^^best advice. If people were more honest with each other, we'd all have a lot more 'true' friends and better love relationships.

I think back to a few years ago, I reconnected with an old HS guy friend on FB. I really thought I had a 'connection' with him, not a soul connection, but an intense, 'I want to know you more and be good friends forever connection'- those connections are better than any sex or love connections, imho, because the only agenda is truly getting to know the person, its not about sex (well sometimes it can lead to that if you fall in love), but its about meeting people that really change us, that make us want to explore each other's mind more and about teaching each other what we've learned in life and helping each other.

Well long story short, I asked him directly once if some romantic songs he posted were for me and he said no, they were for another girl, yet they would always appear right after I logged into FB and posted a status update. and then he would delete them a few hours later. So I believed him when he said he didn't have any feelings for me, I trusted him. Well as it turned out he didn't want my friendship either, apparently I misread any signals I thought he was sending my way, one day he just de-friended me after I left some stuff on my wall. I'll be honest, I left some stuff to see if he would get upset and I guess he did, because he ditched me as a FB friend. So my point is, sometimes what we feel inside is way off. The only thing we can do is to try to communicate more directly. Tell him straight up how you feel. like the other poster suggested. Be honest with him, you have nothing to lose. If he rejects what you have to offer then you will not waste endless amounts of time wondering 'what if'

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

OP, I will share with you something a dear friend once told me: "You deserve to have people in your life who adore you."

It sounds simple and obvious, yet so many of us do not recognize this on a deep level.

If this man adores you he will come forward with his feelings. If he does not, you deserve someone who will.

I agree with other posters who say the intense connection you feel does not mean you are meant to be together in a particular way. That can be a very difficult situation to sort through emotionally but you have shown courage and integrity in the way you have handled it. Stay the course and you will get to the other side in time.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

You again! You posted this shit last fucking month. You're still hung up on this guy, and you never even had a relationship with him, and now you're talking about 'soul connections'!

Move the fuck on and stop being a bunny boiler, or he might complain about your behaviour and you might lose your job, not to mention get a restraining order slapped on you.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 994379

yikes. OP is a stalker babe...

OP, don't get hung up on one person, get out there and meet some people, single people. No one likes a home wrecker.

Quoting: mk ultra 5813027

I keep my actions in check, I avoid him. I don't stalk him out. It's hard for me to stop thinking about him, even though I no longer talk to him. That's why I came on here, for people with experience, how they got over something so sticky. It just sucks....

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322

trust me and others on here, we've all been there at one time or another and one thing is for sure, life and love goes on.

really work on keeping your mind busy.

the best gift any human being can give to another is friendship. you need to be a friend to get him as a friend. you are wise to honor that he has a gf, but if his gf truly loves him and he truly loves her and they are secure in their relationship, then him having a friend should be no problem.

I joke around with my hubby all time about lining up his second wife, should something happen to me and I get ill or something and die before him. I would want him to have female friends and to love and be loved again. friends are important. my biggest fear is who would take care of him, because i love him that much. pure, true love does that to a person.

people can never have too many friends. being honorable and acknowledging his gf is a very wise and classy thing to do.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

Thank you everyone who helped me with it.

He did help my self esteem. He praised me in ways that made me realize I am good at my job. His attention made me feel beautiful, when I haven't felt this way for such a long time.

I never have felt like myself until now, and I could tell he liked the real me. I just wish he didn't have a gf.

The timings off, or he really loves the girl, I was just someone for him to look at.

I know now I deserve someone who wouldn't look and flirt in a relationship. It just isn't right, even though how deep my feelings were for him.

I guess it's just not meant to be in this lifetime...

I don't think I can talk to him about this, as we aren't that close. Plus, it's not right, I don't think. I mean, I like the recommendation, but I feel if he really liked me, he wouldn't be with the girl, to be honest.

My co workers told me yesterday, since I stopped talking to him months ago, he looks so sad when he's in our department. He doesn't really talk to them anymore. I don't know why that bothers me to tears. I didn't think it would bother him, since he has his gf to go to.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

"What does this mean? It means you be very open and honest with him about your feelings, HOWEVER, you also MUST let him know that you acknowledge the fact that he's in a relationship AND you respect it!! By doing this, you are NOT playing any games with him."

Making it known to him will feed his narcissism, then his gf will find out and there will be a huge catfight.

This advice sux.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4537432

^^best advice. If people were more honest with each other, we'd all have a lot more 'true' friends and better love relationships.

I think back to a few years ago, I reconnected with an old HS guy friend on FB. I really thought I had a 'connection' with him, not a soul connection, but an intense, 'I want to know you more and be good friends forever connection'- those connections are better than any sex or love connections, imho, because the only agenda is truly getting to know the person, its not about sex (well sometimes it can lead to that if you fall in love), but its about meeting people that really change us, that make us want to explore each other's mind more and about teaching each other what we've learned in life and helping each other.

Well long story short, I asked him directly once if some romantic songs he posted were for me and he said no, they were for another girl, yet they would always appear right after I logged into FB and posted a status update. and then he would delete them a few hours later. So I believed him when he said he didn't have any feelings for me, I trusted him. Well as it turned out he didn't want my friendship either, apparently I misread any signals I thought he was sending my way, one day he just de-friended me after I left some stuff on my wall. I'll be honest, I left some stuff to see if he would get upset and I guess he did, because he ditched me as a FB friend. So my point is, sometimes what we feel inside is way off. The only thing we can do is to try to communicate more directly. Tell him straight up how you feel. like the other poster suggested. Be honest with him, you have nothing to lose. If he rejects what you have to offer then you will not waste endless amounts of time wondering 'what if'

Fear of rejection often sends people down the wrong path.

Quoting: mk ultra 5813027

But isn't telling him how I feel the worst idea since he's in a relationship? I feel like it's wrong. The relationship he's in should end organically, without any of my involvement.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

its quite simple. you dont.now have faith and do your thing.

if this is what you say it is you couldnt even get over it.

other than that. distance.

Quoting: T-Man

I was afraid that would be the answer. :( How is anyone else suppose to compare? Like this thick chemistry, I never met someone I could feel this way. I have tried to keep distance, but I still run into him at work. And his eyes always find mine, even when I try my best to avoid him, which I have.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

time helps these things. even if you dont change over time. time changes things. he might go away. distance might occure anyway. and who knows. maybe his eyes find you because he wants to and has an inner interest in you that only he knows about.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

I feel your pain, more than you can understand. I wish you well in your struggle. Thats all the advice I can give. I was in a similar situation recently. So I know how it feels to be to torn. You just have to hope that it all works out the way its supposed to.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

its quite simple. you dont.now have faith and do your thing.

if this is what you say it is you couldnt even get over it.

other than that. distance.

Quoting: T-Man

I was afraid that would be the answer. :( How is anyone else suppose to compare? Like this thick chemistry, I never met someone I could feel this way. I have tried to keep distance, but I still run into him at work. And his eyes always find mine, even when I try my best to avoid him, which I have.

Someone said it's like he cast a spell on me. It feels that way.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322

If it's any encouragement, OP, while they are rare, these connections do happen with more than one person.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

I feel your pain, more than you can understand. I wish you well in your struggle. Thats all the advice I can give. I was in a similar situation recently. So I know how it feels to be to torn. You just have to hope that it all works out the way its supposed to.

Quoting: Heart Rocks 27194352

It's been a year of this...and I am so impatient. I want to know the truth. I have tried to move on, I thought he would just move on, just ignore me like I am ignoring him. I have tried to like other guys, and I just freeze up.

And I froze up around him like crazy, since the feeling left me speechless. And when I tried to talk to him, I thought he was feeling the same way.

I noticed every time we got closer, something came in the way to push away. Is that proof this is to be avoided?

I am being driven insane over this. No one understands why I can't just move on. I don't know why I can't drop it. I saw a counselor over it once, and she didn't understand. I know people here in GLP are a little more open minded, understanding some things you feel are of, I don't know, a realm you can't see.

In my cynical mind, he just wants my attention. If he liked me enough, he would of dumped her by now. But then my co workers tell me I didn't show it back enough, and I shyed up. He always initiated conversations. But he has a gf, he shouldn't be looking around. All my co workers didn't think he acted like someone in a relationship either, which is a red flag, yes? They didn't think so.

I'm not the kind of girl to feel this way, I can move on. Like someone said, I wasn't in a relationship with him even, why am I going so crazy? I am ashamed I am like this. I thought I was stronger.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

its quite simple. you dont.now have faith and do your thing.

if this is what you say it is you couldnt even get over it.

other than that. distance.

Quoting: T-Man

I was afraid that would be the answer. :( How is anyone else suppose to compare? Like this thick chemistry, I never met someone I could feel this way. I have tried to keep distance, but I still run into him at work. And his eyes always find mine, even when I try my best to avoid him, which I have.

Someone said it's like he cast a spell on me. It feels that way.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322

If it's any encouragement, OP, while they are rare, these connections do happen with more than one person.

Quoting: Life and Love

From what I read, it doesn't seem like it. And I know it's rare for it to work out. I just was hoping it was my time for something in the love realms to work out for me. Never been lucky in love...never. Thank you. I am just too negative.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

I feel your pain, more than you can understand. I wish you well in your struggle. Thats all the advice I can give. I was in a similar situation recently. So I know how it feels to be to torn. You just have to hope that it all works out the way its supposed to.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

its quite simple. you dont.now have faith and do your thing.

if this is what you say it is you couldnt even get over it.

other than that. distance.

Quoting: T-Man

I was afraid that would be the answer. :( How is anyone else suppose to compare? Like this thick chemistry, I never met someone I could feel this way. I have tried to keep distance, but I still run into him at work. And his eyes always find mine, even when I try my best to avoid him, which I have.

Someone said it's like he cast a spell on me. It feels that way.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322

If it's any encouragement, OP, while they are rare, these connections do happen with more than one person.

Quoting: Life and Love

From what I read, it doesn't seem like it. And I know it's rare for it to work out. I just was hoping it was my time for something in the love realms to work out for me. Never been lucky in love...never. Thank you. I am just too negative.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322

That's ok: I am always overly optimistic, so we balance each other!

You've been on my mind since you began this thread, and I will continue to send good thoughts and prayer your way.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

...

I was afraid that would be the answer. :( How is anyone else suppose to compare? Like this thick chemistry, I never met someone I could feel this way. I have tried to keep distance, but I still run into him at work. And his eyes always find mine, even when I try my best to avoid him, which I have.

Someone said it's like he cast a spell on me. It feels that way.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322

If it's any encouragement, OP, while they are rare, these connections do happen with more than one person.

Quoting: Life and Love

From what I read, it doesn't seem like it. And I know it's rare for it to work out. I just was hoping it was my time for something in the love realms to work out for me. Never been lucky in love...never. Thank you. I am just too negative.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322

That's ok: I am always overly optimistic, so we balance each other!

You've been on my mind since you began this thread, and I will continue to send good thoughts and prayer your way.

Quoting: Life and Love

Thank you for your kindness. You are restoring my faith in humanity. It's kind of lonely to deal with these intense emotions, when no one really understands what you are going through. I pray for sanity. I just hate the unknown.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

That's ok: I am always overly optimistic, so we balance each other!

You've been on my mind since you began this thread, and I will continue to send good thoughts and prayer your way.

Quoting: Life and Love

Thank you for your kindness. You are restoring my faith in humanity. It's kind of lonely to deal with these intense emotions, when no one really understands what you are going through. I pray for sanity. I just hate the unknown.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322

Thinking out loud with you for a moment...

You've done something that few people ever do: you have proved to yourself that these deep connections actually exist.

Do I know what you are going through? Not exactly. But I have had similar experiences. I'll share one with you. I had to say goodbye to a deeply connected friend one day without knowing when or if I'd ever see her again. When the moment came, I decided on the spur of the moment not to leave with a hug and a kiss but instead with a smile and a handshake. I had to learn to "ungrasp" that relationship, and my actions were faith in an unknown future that one day we would meet again.

Had I known that day was to be 15 years in the future, I may not have done that, but one of the sweetest moments in my life was that day of reunion.

My screen name comes from a prayer she composed for me/us a few months after that reunion.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

That's ok: I am always overly optimistic, so we balance each other!

You've been on my mind since you began this thread, and I will continue to send good thoughts and prayer your way.

Quoting: Life and Love

Thank you for your kindness. You are restoring my faith in humanity. It's kind of lonely to deal with these intense emotions, when no one really understands what you are going through. I pray for sanity. I just hate the unknown.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322

Thinking out loud with you for a moment...

You've done something that few people ever do: you have proved to yourself that these deep connections actually exist.

Do I know what you are going through? Not exactly. But I have had similar experiences. I'll share one with you. I had to say goodbye to a deeply connected friend one day without knowing when or if I'd ever see her again. When the moment came, I decided on the spur of the moment not to leave with a hug and a kiss but instead with a smile and a handshake. I had to learn to "ungrasp" that relationship, and my actions were faith in an unknown future that one day we would meet again.

Had I known that day was to be 15 years in the future, I may not have done that, but one of the sweetest moments in my life was that day of reunion.

My screen name comes from a prayer she composed for me/us a few months after that reunion.

Quoting: Life and Love

Is it all in the eyes, you don't even have to say words, but the eyes speak?

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

I am almost 30, never have got the guy I liked. The people who like me and the ones I like never equaled out.

I felt like there was an instant click, shook me to my core. I found the term "soul connection", and all the stories dealing with it. It is spot on how I feel. I have never felt so sad and happy at the same time. I noticed he felt the same, I could see it in his eyes.

Meeting him changed my life. He made me feel good about myself, like someone could love me. He complimented me, smiled at me, and always stared at me. I never felt so intense with someone through their eyes. It brings me such sadness, knowing nothing probably will come of it.

I found out he's been in a relationship the entire time. If he felt the same, he would of probably broke it up. I never let on that I liked him. I just would stare back. I stopped talking to him, since I feel it is wrong. Am I a moron?

People with soul connections, you know how rare they are. It's real, it's something I never saw coming. I can remember to exact detail what he was wearing when I first met him. His face always lit up when he saw me. But he's with someone. Everyone sees them together says they look awkward, and she seems to be the one in control. Not that it matters...

How do I move on? I have to see him everynow and then at work. Even though we don't talk, my co workers say he still looks over at me all the time, and stares. That breaks my heart.

Everyone thinks I'm over him, but I am not. I try my best, but every guy I met doesn't measure up.

Please, I have prayed to God, my friends are all so sick of hearing about this shit. They all say SNAP OUT OF IT...so I have kept it inside for the last 2 months, and it's eating me up. My one co worker, who is an angel, who actually had a dream me and him were together walking by water, as boyfriend and girlfriend, sees how I try my best to avoid him, but I am still drawn to him like a magnet. Do I have no self control?

Be as blunt and mean in response, I need to really snap out of it.....

Thank you for listening....I feel like a crazy person....

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322

soul connection does not have anything in connection to having a relationship in the usual sense.a persona true in christ tries to have soul connections with whomever it is possibleof course there is a special alchemy to have soul connections with beings of opposite sex, because there is a special force of attraction that magnetizes the soulsbut the point is not about sex or other ingredients involved in having a relationship.it is just about love, pure and simpleit is about venus energy, and it does not necessary invole a mars-venus dynamic (falling in love)the ring of marriage is a vow to saturn not to venuslove/heart does not need outward promises and commitmentsbecause the sacredness involved is subtle but palpableit is about true friendship in the first place

you have a hard time dealing with it from the emotional/ego part and the desire nature.love what you experienced unconditionallyand use that feeling to get closer to all existence/god/souls in a much more concrete loveit is a test, you can ground love in your heart and praise the blessing of those momentsor you can fail looking at outward realities/commitments (he is in a relationship)so whatlove the soul in him, that's why it is a soul connectionnot desiring the man/human in him

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

soul connection does not have anything in connection to having a relationship in the usual sense.a persona true in christ tries to have soul connections with whomever it is possibleof course there is a special alchemy to have soul connections with beings of opposite sex, because there is a special force of attraction that magnetizes the soulsbut the point is not about sex or other ingredients involved in having a relationship.it is just about love, pure and simpleit is about venus energy, and it does not necessary invole a mars-venus dynamic (falling in love)the ring of marriage is a vow to saturn not to venuslove/heart does not need outward promises and commitmentsbecause the sacredness involved is subtle but palpableit is about true friendship in the first place

you have a hard time dealing with it from the emotional/ego part and the desire nature.love what you experienced unconditionallyand use that feeling to get closer to all existence/god/souls in a much more concrete loveit is a test, you can ground love in your heart and praise the blessing of those momentsor you can fail looking at outward realities/commitments (he is in a relationship)so whatlove the soul in him, that's why it is a soul connectionnot desiring the man/human in him

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24512322

I was just praying it would be more, just once. I do feel crazy amounts of care and love for him. It is very hard to deal with. It's like an obsession. I feel crazy.

Thank you for your words. I didn't realize feeling this intense could lead to just nothing. I was expecting it to mean something.

I just feel such a pit in my stomach. The hopeless romantic in me thinks there's still a chance, but I am just wasting my time. I need to be stronger, and just leave it be. He's a taken man, that's the final answer.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

A poem to share with you, OP, which I set to music years ago. I think it describes what you are seeking.

Blessings.

Heart to Heart--------------

A friend, a special treasure, a gift from God above.To share the secrets of your soul, to share a precious love.One there to share your triumphs, still there to share your tears.One who has the strength and love to share your greatest fears.

Someone who cares about you, someone you care for, too.Someone who knows your deepest thoughts, shared with just a few.Someone to share the closeness, the hope, the joy, the love.Someone who shares your hope and faith and trust in God above.

A source of strength through sorrow, who's there in time of need.A heart that reaches out to give, by thought and word and deed.You've found a strength together, that is not found by one,And two can bear a burden that would conquer one alone.

A very special someone, who wants to give and share.A very precious someone, a friend who's always there.Someone you can feel safe with, someone who you hold dear;Someone you can rely on, whether you are far or near.

As your two lives are joined as one, a stronger life is formed.Together you will find the strength to weather every storm.Hand in hand before the Lord, today you make this start.You have His promise made in love, that binds you heart to heart.

Re: How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

A poem to share with you, OP, which I set to music years ago. I think it describes what you are seeking.

Blessings.

Heart to Heart--------------

A friend, a special treasure, a gift from God above.To share the secrets of your soul, to share a precious love.One there to share your triumphs, still there to share your tears.One who has the strength and love to share your greatest fears.

Someone who cares about you, someone you care for, too.Someone who knows your deepest thoughts, shared with just a few.Someone to share the closeness, the hope, the joy, the love.Someone who shares your hope and faith and trust in God above.

A source of strength through sorrow, who's there in time of need.A heart that reaches out to give, by thought and word and deed.You've found a strength together, that is not found by one,And two can bear a burden that would conquer one alone.

A very special someone, who wants to give and share.A very precious someone, a friend who's always there.Someone you can feel safe with, someone who you hold dear;Someone you can rely on, whether you are far or near.

As your two lives are joined as one, a stronger life is formed.Together you will find the strength to weather every storm.Hand in hand before the Lord, today you make this start.You have His promise made in love, that binds you heart to heart.

Quoting: Heart To Heart

Quoting: Life and Love

Thank you...beautifully written. Hope you are having a wonderful thanksgiving. I know I have lots to be thankful for, but I guess I want most what I can't have.