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Nota Bene

Our modern relationships have nothing to do anymore with the one our grandparents, or even our parents went through. Years of fights for equality have completely changed the relationships between men and women. Sometimes for the best, sometimes for the worst.
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You’re so naive yet so

Some women got systematically fooled because they are too naive. And it’s not because they ‘re too young. C. is 47 year-old and she gets fooled a lot by everyone around her. At the office, she ‘s the one who ends up with a lot of loans because she lends to the baddest borrowers of her company. They never pay you back, and everyone knows it. She’s also the one who give a hand every time she’s asked for, but ended up with multiple tasks because it’s always the laziest ones who ask for her help.

With her kids, it’s also a catastrophe. She can’t say no to her oldest son, so he’s the most spoiled kid I’ve ever met.

In her love life, it’s the same. She’s married to an engineer who’s been sent for a mission abroad. They barely see each other during the year because of that. She just told me she took a pause in her career to spend three months with her husband. But I learned that he’s not fond of that decision. In other words, he prefers to be alone (maybe he has a mistress where he lives) while she has to take care of their three kids. How delicate he is …

In my previous job, I met a desperate woman who ended up with nothing left except her eyes for crying because she didn’t sign a prenup with her ex-husband. The problem was that he ran a company that went bankrupt, so everything they owned was sold or used to reimburse the many debts of his entreprise, including her own accounts.

When you’re really in love and decide to marry, you don’t necessarily think about the worst, especially financial problems. So signing a prenup appears to some women like an act of high treason towards their future husband. Then, when it’s over, it’s the drama.

Love and money never make a good match. We can’t live without the two, however.

Like I said, for some women, signing a prenup is an act of high treason for their husband. For those women who sacrified their career to bring their children and become the perfect housekeeper, then get dumped for a younger version of herself and left without nothing, I think it’s disgusting. But sometimes, justice can help them. In my country, there’s what we call spousal support,that applies with or without a prenup if the guy earns his life and her wife not while raising their children.

In fact, in my country, the prenup exists, but there’s also a legal regime that sums up in three things, either you don’t accept it, in this case, you fall under the regime of universal community of the good. The second one is a community of the good acquired during the marriage. The third one is about the total independence of each other’s goods. A choice you’d better make if you work as an independent.
For the establishment of the spousal support, it’s the judge who decides according to what both parties have asked. The wife can keep the house in some case, but I know that most of those women prefer to sell the home, too much of bad memories.
Yes, in your country, the wife should better move out with the kids 😉

My only bad experience about “love and money” is when an Ex borrowed money from me, never paid me back, then wanted to borrow more. Later on, I found out that he has been doing the same thing to all his other girlfriends. He was a gold digger. I never thought I will ever meet a man like that.

I think the woman in the first instance has issues of co-dependency and “people pleasing”. It’s not so much to do with naivete, as that she has been damaged in some way in her past (probably childhood) and finds as a result, that she can’t say no. She is afraid that people won’t like her and will leave her if she does. I’ve known many women like that and have made a bit of a study of it… Of course, I’ve never met her, but her behaviour is textbook…

I’ve never had love and money problems. One of the few I haven’t, hah!

I don’t think C. belongs to that category. I know a lot of women who are affected with this problem of having to please everyone, but C. isn’t. In fact, when you talk to her, you would realise she’s living on another planet. She thinks everyone is beautiful and nice, and doesn’t understand why people hate people. A former hippie ? Maybe. She’s able to say no to someone. I’ve seen her getting mad at her boss. But maybe she’s co- dependent to the ones she loves.
Good for you, Vanessa 😉