well i'm back on the dating thing. i broke up with my bf off ~2 years, on and off. it just felt like it ended last summer. so my gf told me about an online website okcupid and plenty of fish. i posted profiles on both about 3 weeks ago, just partila face pick as i'm weary. i had few guys contact me.

i started talking to one and he flaked on me over a silly comment. we still talk but he's about 2 hrs away and seems a bit immature so nothing.

#2, date 1 we met for coffee about 2 weeks ago. we both ordered the same drink, soy chai lattes! lol. talked for like 3 hours, went to dinner. we had a very strong connection, i have not felt like that about a guy since my ex. we have a lot in common, work wise and just our values. he wants kids, he is great with kids, he understands that i wont introduce him to dd til we're serious. he's so silly, he makes me laugh. yet he has a grown up serious side to him. he texts me once a day (thinking of you, smile sexy, etc) and we talk over yahoo IM. he's not into the phone thing which is a bit weird but whatever.
so for date 2 went to dinner on wed, it was so nice. we walked around, find a nice restaurant, had a bite, talked, etc. he dropped me off in a reasonable time and we kissed. woo hoo!
date 3: friday he texted me around 9pm saying he was bored. i asked if he wanted company and he said yes so i went over. we cuddled on the couch, talked and watched a movie. one thing led to another and we got intimate. woo hooo. i stayed the night. he had to go to work so i left. he texted me later that day. i texted him this morning to say hi and i haven't heard from him all day. i'm a bit worried but i know he had to work again, he's up against some pretty crazy deadlines. but of course part of me worries...did we move too fast?

i do have a crazy schedule with dd so we the dates kind of seen erratic. i tell him when i'm available and we go from there. i guess he's not much of a planner but i dont want to seem too pushy/needy! but it's so hard to hold back when we have such a great connection!!!:

Eccomama: Sounds like you have had fun with the dating. Whether you moved to fast - it depends how you would feel about him possibly not being serious after having been intimate. Personally I dont have a problem being intimate with someone and then that was it, so for me I wouldnt think I was moving too fast. But its very much a personal thing. If you feel being intimate is something you only want to do with someone very serious - then maybe you did move too fast? Only you can know really. I hope it works out

No bit news here. I am buying a car - BF and I went to take a testdrive in one of my optional buys on saturday. He was clever, sweet, funny etc as usual We have a wonderful time together. I'm still crazy about him and he seems more and more serious about the whole thing. Well - he was from the beginning. He has always been very straight forward and honest about the whole thing and so far everything he has told me about himself from the start proves true. What I mean is - he has told me from the start that he is all about taking it slowly - and while to begin with I thought he seemed very attached, loving etc - its even more so now I still can hardly believe I am so lucky

he texts me once a day (thinking of you, smile sexy, etc) and we talk over yahoo IM. he's not into the phone thing which is a bit weird but whatever....

date 3: friday he texted me around 9pm saying he was bored. i asked if he wanted company and he said yes so i went over. we cuddled on the couch, talked and watched a movie. one thing led to another and we got intimate. woo hooo. i stayed the night. he had to go to work so i left. he texted me later that day. i texted him this morning to say hi and i haven't heard from him all day.

I'm so glad you connected well with someone and it seems like there's potential... However, the stuff I quoted above kind of sounds.... ambiguous? I'm a little suspicious-minded these days and just hope that the intentions on his side are exactly what they should be. Forgive me for being a bit Mama Bear-ish.... It's just a pet peeve when men suddenly drop off in frequency of communication, or if they have unexplained reasons for being a bit unavailable (no phone call options, for example--kind of weird, what reason did he give?).

I'm so glad you connected well with someone and it seems like there's potential... However, the stuff I quoted above kind of sounds.... ambiguous? I'm a little suspicious-minded these days and just hope that the intentions on his side are exactly what they should be. Forgive me for being a bit Mama Bear-ish.... It's just a pet peeve when men suddenly drop off in frequency of communication, or if they have unexplained reasons for being a bit unavailable (no phone call options, for example--kind of weird, what reason did he give?).

yeah the communication thing bugs me a lot. he told me he didnt have great communication skills at work and he's realized that has spilled over into his relationships. so it's hard to deal with for me but not sure that i can really bring it up this early? i'm so tempted to call and say hi but then i feel like i'm being too forward but on the other hand i hate this feeling of ambiguity! i have barely heard from his since Friday. And now that my mom is in town i mentioned to him that i have a live in baby sitter for a week and that maybe we could get out one eve. he said that would be nice, again over IM. so i'm leaving it in his court. i'm not going to contact him and just focus on spending time with my mom and dd the next few days...

also what bugs me is that he still goes to okcupid every night. i kind of lurk there and i see him logged in and usually like 2am. so now i'm all paranoid thinking he's seeing someone else...ugh. this so sucks!!!

so due to all this i ended up going on a coffee date with this italian guy. ugh so not my type but we had nice conversation. i guess he thought things were great between us and when he walked me to the car i went to hug him and he grabbed my face and practically showed his tongue down my throat and started groping me. he was sucking my lips so hard that i could hardly breathe. i finally pushed him off and he was so pissed off. he told me that i led him on, etc. we had coffee, how is that leading someone on?

Eccomama: Yuck - what a bad ending to a date. That italian guy sounds - unpleasent.. That is the oldest excuse for rape - that the girl led the guy on. Goodness - cant they tell when a girl wants to be kissed! At least make a slow move - keeping eye contact so she has a chance to turn her head.. FOr the silent guy - hmm doesnt sound too promising IMO. I'd not put my money on him anyway. I say go date some more - sounds like he is doing that anyway..

Here - what makes me feel my guy is more serious is - well I seriously doubt he would move away unless he was in some deep financial trouble that there was no other solution to. He still has his job - I think his idea of moving abroad was because he was uncertain for how long he could keep it, but looks stable now, so he is looking for something around here. We are actually talking about going into business together. Yeah - sounds weird I know - its just everything about us is - compatible. Even our wishes for a carreer and our professional backgrounds would make a good match for starting something up. For now its all dreams - but I dont see it as entirely unrealistic. I know it sounds - well you dont usually work with someone you also sleep with kwim - but he is from such a family. His parents have worked together their entire lifes - on everything - kids, house, career - etc. So its not a strange or unrealistic idea for him. For me - I get along with most people and believe I am pretty easy going so. I do feel we have a connection that - is much more than just romantic love. A kindred spirit would be a way to describe it - or maybe soulmate?
Anyway - the above kind of sums up why I feel we are getting more serious. Other reasons are - he met my parents twice now, and I will meet some of his family during easter. He met the kids and thinks they are awesome. We spend a whole day in the pool and he keeps talking about what a wonderful day it was and how cute they are. If this had been a guy with no experience in children I would be more like - yeah just wait and see when they are all fighting, throwing stuff around the house, refusing to do a thing they are told etc - but since he already spend several years fathering 3-children - and since he grew up with 3 siblings - he knows what family can also be when its not all smiles and cuddles.
So all in all - it just feels meant to be. Part of me knew right from the start I guess - that something was - different - this time around. I have just spend the past many months wondering what the catch would be. Still havent found one - except him being really busy and that we dont have much time together - but its a small price to pay

thanks for the support and advice. i'm feeling like i need to move on. i haven't not written him off yet but i'm not going to make any contact.

Seie - sounds like things are working out between you too and your discussing future plans. i admire your flexibility and your ability to look at the future, not just immediate needs. sounds like your kids approve and so do your parents.

eccomama - I know there's someone out there who will be excited and eager to communicate with you. It's what you deserve.

Seie - I'm so glad to hear things are moving forward nicely with you and your guy.

I've been online for a little while and really meeting the most interesting people. I really like being playful with it and have little expectation and I believe that helps me just have fun with it all. I've not actually met up with anyone yet, although there are at least 2 that I know I will meet at some time.

eccomama - I know there's someone out there who will be excited and eager to communicate with you. It's what you deserve.

thank you! i feel so sad today. i have not heard from him for a week and finally send him a note on okcupid since he's always there. i'm a bit heartbroken as we had such a strong connection hence i really felt the need for closure. i'm sure he'll not reply but i feel like i can move on...

mr. gropy italian keeps contacting me and i just told him politely no thank you.

and this one guy i started talking to a year ago resurfaced and we have a date for this sat. woo hoo! so now i have something to look forward to...

eccomama - I know there's someone out there who will be excited and eager to communicate with you. It's what you deserve.

thank you! i feel so sad today. i have not heard from him for a week and finally send him a note on okcupid since he's always there. i'm a bit heartbroken as we had such a strong connection hence i really felt the need for closure. i'm sure he'll not reply but i feel like i can move on...

mr. gropy italian keeps contacting me and i just told him politely no thank you.

and this one guy i started talking to a year ago resurfaced and we have a date for this sat. woo hoo! so now i have something to look forward to...

Well, since you asked...I took a very deep breath and uploaded a pic to my okcupid profile. I got a lot more lookers but only one contact so far. We may do coffee next week. I like coffee for first meets. You can easily bail or continue onto a meal if the vibes are good!

vanishing guy resurfaced today! he apologized for unintentionally avoiding me. busy with work, has to work 4th weekend in the row so i feel for him. also my mom was in town so he was trying to give me space. blah blah. so anyway, fine i accepted the apology and we're going to make plans for this weekend. i'm leaving the ball in his court, if he blows then we're done. but i'm still keeping my sat coffee date! hehe

odjmama - yeah for uploading a photo. it was a huge step for me and took me a while to weed thru the weirdos, etc. coffee is great cuz there are no expectations, you can cut it short, or just say no thanks. good luck and keep us updated!

odjmama: Good luck on your coffeedate Did you try to contact some interesting men rather than wait around for interesting men to find you? Thats how I found my guy. I was about to give up on the online dating site I was using - then decided I was gonna give it one more change. Then I browsed through pictures and bookmarked a few that looked pleasent (not good mind you - I only went for the ones with warm pleasent smiles) I wrote a few - just really short saying I read their profile and found it interesting. A few wrote back - including my guy. His letter was very short, and really funny so I wrote him back right away. We wrote for a week before we met up. I had written with several before him - but none of them seemed as intelligent and funny as him so..
Good luck anyway

Eccomama: Hmm vanishing guy doesnt sound all that serious IMO. If he was into you he wouldt have spent so long figuring out whether to get in touch or not. Especially considering he even knows that he took way to long to get back to you and even apologizes for it. It's always easier to say from afar, but Id say - dont bother. If he cant even pull his act together now, dont expect that to change over time.
Good luck on your other date!