Miss Representation explores the media’s portrayal of women. It talks about how the media’s representation of woman as sex objects and possessions of men has detrimental effects on both young girls and boys. It focuses on the role media has in shaping the way we perceive ourselves and the expectations that are placed upon us. The trailer is eight minutes and includes some interesting points.

The trailer made me think of a conversation I had with two friends a few days ago. One of my friends was discussing how men are negatively impacted by the media because it skews their standards of beauty. They develop unrealistic expectations of beauty and this impacts how they seek relationships. Honestly I had never really thought about that before and my initial reaction was a bit unsympathetic, as in, “oh no, poor boys are disappointed because they only want girls who look like models they see in magazines and they don’t actually exist, boo hoo.” But in addition to being a bit condescending, this understanding of how media impacts boys is highly superficial. Even if you just focus on this aspect of beauty standards, having an unrealistic standard of beauty is detrimental. Boys can end up forsaking certain friendships and missing opportunities for real long term relationships because of this, which in turn impacts their development. This might sound like a little thing but as my friend sat across from me and explained how guys have told her, this clearly beautiful human being both inside and out (seriously, she fits neatly into conventional standards of beauty), that they just weren’t attracted to her, that she wasn’t pretty enough, I sat there feeling sorry for any guy who missed out on the opportunity to spend time with this woman. Any guy who knowingly walked away from her clearly had some negative forces acting on his understanding of beauty.

There are other aspects of the media’s portrayal of gender norms that can have negative impacts on boys. Media hypes up a certain idea of masculinity and imposes it on these young boys, fostering a culture of ridicule and bullying for any boy who doesn’t succumb to these pressures.

And of course there is the impact had on young girls. They are bombarded with images of what they should look like, how they should act, what their value is – all reinforcing the idea that they aren’t good enough. It starts from a young age and follows women throughout their lives.

Likely, just as the trailer makes clear, we need more female leaders and more women in media. But we also need a better understanding of what our true value and nature because without that, we’re likely to continue to promote some of the same media messages just in different forms.

“The Smurfette Principle is the tendency for works of fiction to have exactly one female in an ensemble of male characters, in spite of the fact that roughly half of the human race is female.”

The website Feminist Frequency has recently started posting videos that explore the tropes women are placed into when they are depicted in popular media. These short videos explain that a trope is a “common pattern in a story or recognizable attribute in a character that conveys information to the audience. A trope becomes a cliche when it is overused.” Often, these tropes depict stereotypes. Enter the Smurfette Principle.

We’re constantly being bombared by all sorts of different images in the media and whether we like it or not these depictions begin to inform our perception of reality. Therefore the meager presence of women, especially women with diverse looks and opinions, in our mainstream media, serves to undercut the equality of women and men. The lack of visibility of women serves to propogate the idea that women are the minority and makes it seem as though issues that impact women are only interesting to women. It creates a sort of “otherness.” The lack of females in the media are a reflection of a male centered society, illustrating that we place priorities on men, men’s stories and the things men do.

Every so often you are confronted with your own prejudices, the ways in which the media has shaped your thoughts. Yesterday was such a day for me. I was reading an article on the blog Feministe where the author sets up a scenario in which a female member of congress poses on the cover of a magazine wearing an unbuttoned shirt exposing her stomach and part of her breasts. She poses the scenario as a question, asking her readers, “can you believe it?” She follows that up with the clarification that we couldn’t believe it because it wasn’t true, she just made it up. Rather than a congresswoman, this scenario describes what actually happened: a congressman posing with his shirt unbuttoned, completely exposing his abdomen and chest, on the cover of Fitness magazine.

My initial reaction was to think it was horrible that anybody could think it mattered whether the situation involved a man or a woman. The problems that one would have with this type of cover should exist regardless of the gender of the member of congress in question. But upon further reflection I realized that I would think it was different. I realized I would judge a congresswoman more harshly than I judged this congressman for his magazine cover. I think this prejudice stems from the portrayal of woman’s bodies in the media. Images of scantily clad women have always had hyper-sexualized undertones so a woman on the cover of a magazine with her shirt open seems more about selling sex to me and I would wonder why I female congresswoman would want to project that image while this image of a man is questionable but doesn’t seem as overtly sexual because its about fitness.

Bothered by this realization of a double standard I asked my friend what she thought. She offered her opinion:

Re the senator, I think it’s ABSURD that he posed for this cover and I do think he’s selling sex along with fitness, but if the woman had been on the cover like that I probably would have been outraged and considered her a terrible role model for children, etc, etc. That likely is a double standard. One thing, though, is that I think I’m offended more by the woman doing it because I’m so tired of the sexualization of women and of women feeling like they have to resort to sex to be valued whereas with men I just think you’re ridiculous if you do it but don’t see it as a sign of oppression. Although that may also be a double standard against men and an erroneous/naïve omission of the reality that men are also feeling the pressure to sell themselves as sexual beings to succeed…although I don’t really think they feel it as strongly as women, that pressure may be mounting in some arenas.

So we both came to the conclusion that we had this double standard in the way we would react to the female senator as opposed to the male senator. Whatever way we sought to explain our thinking, it wouldn’t change the fact that we were judging them differently although they were hypothetically doing the same thing. So the question is why? Why do we have this double standard in our minds even though we both recognize it as such?

I think we’ve all been in situations in which a conversation takes an unexpected turn. I humbly offer the following one such example:

Leslie: “Hey, we should go eat at that restaurant over there.”

Ron: “Which one are you talking about, there are like three different restaurants in this area.”

L: “The one with the two girls standing in front of it…”

R: “What two girls? Oh you mean that one with the brown hair and her fat blonde friend? Yeah we should go there, I love that place.

L: “Fat? Why did you just call her fat? She’s not fat, that’s so mean.”

R: “Oh I’m sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. Sensitive audience.”

L: “What do you mean sensitive audience? Just because I don’t think you should call people fat doesn’t mean I’m especially sensitive.”

R: “No I just mean… I get it… women and their weight, its sensitive, I get it.

L: “Women and their weight? Me finding your comments on the way that woman looks offensive has nothing to do with being female. It’s just plain rude. Not to mention that insinuating that I have a problem with your comments because I’m a woman and therefore sensitive about my weight is not only cliché but kind of sexist.”

R: “Sexist?! I’m not sexist. You’re blowing this whole thing way out of proportion. Wow, way to make it a gender thing. I cannot believe you just called me sexist. You know, I’m not even hungry anymore. Let’s just go home.”

And just like that Ron cuts off the conversation. Once the dreaded term “sexist” comes out, the conversation is pretty much dead. Sexist is just about one of the worst terms you can call someone (add to that racist, homophobe, among others). No one wants to be associated with a manner of thinking or behavior that is largely considered offensive and outdated. Once that term in uttered from one person to another, all conversation around the issue that caused the term to be brought up in the first place is over. In this case Ron, who made the “sexist” remark, no longer wants to discuss the issue just as Leslie really wants to make her point.

And that’s a shame. The reality of the world many people live in is that sexism (and other isms) no longer linger out in the open, easily identifiable and agreed upon by all, but rather sexism lives in the shadows, ingrained in certain behaviors and thought patterns. It’s ironic that as more work has been done to bring about the equality of women and men, it has become harder to have honest conversations about those issues and attitudes that continue to promote misogynistic and sexist thought. It’s almost impossible to have an open and honest conversation about the problems that continue to plague the fight for gender equality without someone feeling defensive and wanting to wish it away.

A similar issue can be seen around the birther movement in the United States. Many people believe that the push for Barack Obama to release his birth certificate is born out of racism, a desire to attribute an otherness to the first African American president. Yet if you read any comment sections on the numerous opinion pieces that have been written on the subject, you have many individuals who are quick to assert that racism no longer exists, that black people are trying to make an issue out of nothing and that blacks are really the ones that are racist against whites. The validity of those arguments are inconsequential. The problem is that by being so quick to make those arguments, the conversation is being shut down and those who feel marginalized are being told to keep their opinions to themselves, echoing a history of being silenced.

Honestly in the above situation, both Leslie and Ron are limiting the possibility of open dialogue. Ron is defensive and therefore not willing to listen while Leslie has thrown out labels rather than creating a space for conversation to flow.

In situations of perceived racism and sexism, we aren’t all going to agree on the specifics of the case, but we have to be able to discuss it. If we’re trying to create a world in which the oppressive and domineering forces that have for so long plagued human history become a thing of the past, then we have to be able to understand each other. One way of doing this is by listening to other people’s experiences. In doing so, we have to allow people to feel their feelings – this way we validate their reality. It’s only through the process of listening to others’ sorrows and experiences that we can create a common foundation; that we begin to see reality and truth as one. And perhaps once voices can be heard we can move past these labels which so often gloss over the full weight of the situation and only create greater distinction where there could, in fact, be inclusion.

I’ve never been the most feminine of girls. I have brothers and a sister who taught me how to defend myself. My father often sarcastically remarks how sorry he is that he raised his daughters to be quiet, timid, meek girls. My parents have always treated us kids equally. When I was a little girl and wanted to play with hot wheels and action figures alongside pink dolls, that was just fine. When I was more inclined to go fishing instead of join ballet with the other girls, I was never discouraged.

So when I decided to get a job in construction, I wasn’t expecting to have a hard time. Probably a little naïve – but I’ve always been just fine in boys’ worlds. But what do you do in a boys’ world that doesn’t know you? How do you remain true to yourself? I could feel that I wasn’t being taken seriously. They weren’t believing I could work as hard as they could. I would hear comments like “This is why you don’t send a woman to do a man’s job.” Sometimes jokes, sometimes not. I wasn’t being given the same opportunities as the boys. They were hesitant to give me the heavier work. I began to feel myself toughening up. Clenching up. Putting on a nasty face. Holding myself differently. Pushing the girl in me away. Feeling I needed to be more masculine in order to be accepted. I felt like I was representing all of womankind – but I couldn’t even do it like a woman. I was stuck wanting to be accepted by my coworkers while remaining resentful of them for not accepting me based on my gender.

I was in unchartered territory. Who do you look to for advice when no other women I know have been in my shoes? Women in these roles typically tend to take on the masculine traits, and that’s how they are accepted. I realized that by taking on these male characteristics, I was being just as harmful as my coworkers who were making hurtful comments. Through my actions, I was essentially saying that yes, there is no way a woman can do this job. The only way a woman can do this job is if she becomes like the men. I didn’t want to cop out like that. I wanted to be a woman – without the disguise.

And then I thought about my parents. How they raised me to be my truest self – always. And I remembered that despite the fact that I played with action figures, I still could play with dolls every once in a while. Remind myself that there was no weakness in being a girl. There is no weakness in expressing to my coworkers my feelings. It was time to forget that I was in the boys’ world, but instead it is a world that we don’t define by gender roles. My standard was no longer the boys’ standard but instead it was time to redefine this standard and acknowledge the woman in me – strong and unflinching. Holding myself to the same standard that my parents held me to, and I would want to hold my daughters to – to recognize their given, feminine attributes, and seeing them as strength. Not a weakness.

I still falter sometimes – too eager to prove myself and my strength. But it’s a process. And it is a process that we are going to have to face if we want true equality.

One last thing – I just want to tell all the women out there that if we are going to achieve that equality, it is going to require us to step outside of our comfort zones. Start small. It’s okay for you to carry the groceries, play catch with your kids, or learn how to drill (take it from me, it’s actually quite easy). Just remember that femininity doesn’t need to be defined by masculinity.

Welcome

At the core of this blog is the document “Advancing towards the Equality between Women and Men” prepared by the Institute for Studies in Global Prosperity. However, engendering equality is not just a catchy name, it’s also a process we are all engaged in. In order to give us inspiration to be working towards engendering equality this blog tries to create a space in which actions and reflections are shared by individuals on the promotion of the equality of women and men within their social space.