Almost the minute I decided I was going to make avocado brownies? I was making avocado brownies. My hands were working before my mind could even fully comprehend this crazy mess. Mashing and melting and mixing and making mayhem.

Even though we spent a week on vacation together, we had a KING bed. I cannot stress how important a king bed is for this marriage. OMG. We do not have one because I spend the money we should use for a bed on impractical shoes and he swears that we couldn’t fit it up our windy steps. And he tosses all the covers on my side and then I’m weighed down and almost fall out of bed and then I’m kicking him in the ribs and he can’t get a good night’s sleep to save his life and we have both been sleeping in the middle of a bed for a few weeks off and on and seriously, was this snoring EVER this bad before? and yes I must must must sleep with the TV on or a monster will come eat me plus the Olympics are still on and by the way I also need to keep the ceiling fan on high because I’m constantly hot like a blast furnace but also find it necessary to cover myself with six layers of blankets because of that whole monster thing.

And what do you MEAN that I need to eat dinner with another person and prepare something normal that is not cheese and crackers and clean up after myself and not leave piles of laundry scattered throughout the house and not leave my makeup all over the sink and not leave four pairs of shoes in the living room and not leave dishes in the sink for days on end and not spend 12 hours writing in my pajamas and not eat my dinner of cheese and crackers to the blasting Taylor Dayne Pandora station and not burn three different candles at once that smell like cupcakes and lilacs and root beer? What? You don’t think our house smells pretty yet floraly yet good enough to eat?

Yeah. See? Chocolate.

It was a must.

And I do this thing… this thing that consists of me buying many, many avocados at once because um, it’s not like I live in the avocado capital of the world or anything. It is an absolute and unfortunate requirement that if you need four avocados in this town, that you may as well buy six or seven because chances are that one or two will be complete yucky mush. And have a bunch of those avocado hairs.

OMG, wait. Can we talk about this for a minute?? What are those little avocado hair-like string things? I hate them. Utterly loath. I am a texture person – in the sense that I love texture in my food… lots of crunch and cream and silky mousses – not in the way that textures ever weird me out like they do with a few people. Well, except for really crunchy vegetables. I just can’t do that so give me a bag of chips and stop trying to convince me that the celery you are eating has curbed your craving for honey mustard pretzel nuggets. Not buying it.

But these hairs. Ugh, these hair things drive me crazy. And I should probably stop calling them hairs because they really are stringy things and I’ve said “hairs” more than once in the presence of others who think I’m insane and they get all freaked out thinking I found actual hairs – like people hairs – in my avocados. Um no.

Oh wait! I just googled and learned that the strings are a result of the thickening of vascular bundles. Hmmm. Sort of wished I never googled that to begin with. Sounds gross.

Anyhoo.

Point is (finally?): I had eight avocados. Sunday night, I turned to my husband and said you know what we haven’t had in the LONGEST time?

Note: you probably should not ask your husband that question and expect a serious answer.

But my answer was brownies. I hadn’t made brownies in forever. He wasn’t really interested. And he was even less interested when he saw what type of brownies I made, given his fierce dislike for avocados in general.

[However, I secretly watched him take down a good cup of that summer chopped salad I shared on Monday, only later to tell him that there were avocados in it, to which he said “oh that’s okay… avocados are a superfood. I saw it on the Subway commercial.”]

The brownies are dense. They are not light and fluffy – they are dense and thick and fudgy and pretty rich. I believe they stay moist because I not only added eggs, but also avocado oil and a lot of additional chopped chocolate. But the frosting compliments the richness perfectly because it’s light in flavor – YES, the frosting tastes like avocado. No, the brownies do not taste like avocado. I really love them paired together though, and am not sure I’d enjoy the brownies as much without the green stuff on top that looks like something Slimer created. Yes, the frosting stays green. I have no idea why, but it did so when I made the brown sugar banana cupcakes too. I’m thinking it has to be the sugar. But what do I know?

Oh I do know one thing. I’m obsessed with these. And about to go buy a king-sized bed.

Directions:

In a large bowl, whisk mashed avocado and melt chocolate. Whisk in sugar until combined, then add in eggs and vanilla extract, mixing well. Add in flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt, mixing with a large spoon until JUST combined - do not over mix. Stir in avocado oil until it's well distributed and batter is somewhat smooth. Fold in chopped chocolate, then spread batter in pan. Bake for 28-32 minutes, or until middle is set. Remove and let cool completely, then frost and top with grated chocolate if desired.

Note: I placed these in the fridge (covered throughly with plastic wrap) to store and when eaten immediately from the fridge, they can be even denser and slightly dry, so I recommend letting them come to room temp or even placing them in the microwave (we did this!).

For Frosting:
Add avocado to the bowl of an electric mixer and beat until mashed and creamy. With the mixer on low speed, add in vanilla then slowly add in powdered sugar, scraping down the sides if needed, until a smooth frosting forms. Frost brownies once cooled.

I don’t know what to say here. On one side I’m absolutely terrified of eating anything green that *shouldn’t* really be green (in my mind) – like frosting. Green frosting makes me think of St Patricks Day or some 8 yr old’s birthday party. On the other side, these look so moist, fluffy, and fudgy. Oh why do you mess with my mind this way!? ;)

Vascular bundles, hey? Yep, let’s just pretend like you didn’t read that and focus on the task at hand, which is eating brownies. Lots of them. :) PS Had to laugh about the blankets and the monster thing because I’m totally the same way. It doesn’t matter if there is no one else in my house, if my door is closed, or if I’m absolutely sweating my brains out… I have to at least have a sheet over me!

I would definitely make the brownies and sneak them past my husband’s lips and secretly laugh as he ate something with avocado in it, but I don’t think I could get away with the frosting in my house. Sigh. Small victories, though, right?

As for a king sized bed, I’m beginning to believe that it needs to happen if I want to get past my 4th anniversary. Seriously. We need one. Of course we’d have to crawl over the bed to get from one side of the room to the other…but it would be worthwhile, I think. I LOVE going on vacation just for the thought of a king sized bed. It’s magical.

WOW! This is awesome…I so was not expecting the avocado frosting! And yes a king bed is a MUST. When Keith and I got married his family offered to buy us a king sized bed. But I was so lovely dovey and all like nooooooo we want to cuddle. Hum. 6 years of marriage later…I still love to cuddle but I also like to sleep without being bothered! ha! We ivested in a king last year. Awesome.

This post is CRAZY! I laughed my a#% off reading it! You seriously need to get a king size bed, Jessica!

These brownies look so fudgy, but I’m not sure about the avocado frosting. How long did it stay bright green? I think I asked you this the last time you made an avocado frosting, but didn’t it turn brown pretty fast?

It doesn’t turn brown at all! Stays green for good. Well, I’ve had the frosting before for probably 6-7 days before using it all up and it has always stayed green. I honestly have no clue why – I think it has something to do with the sugar? But whether it is at room temp or in the fridge… stays green!

Can you buy another size mattress/bed, and just squish them together if a king size mattress really won’t fit? You just have to make sure the beds won’t slide apart and leave somebody at risk of falling through the gap…

if you have avoided getting a king size bed because you dont think you can fit it up the stairs, get a sleep number king! they come in small easier to manage boxes. yes they weigh a ton to carry up the stairs but that is why we have husbands right?!

Avo makes everything denser, creamier, richer – the plant equivalent of butter. Love it! Love making chocolate things with it b/c they always turn out so rich and moist. These look great and love the contrast of the brownies which you say dont taste like avo but the frosting that does – great contrast!

I made a chocolate avocado cake once [even vegan!] and it was pretty much the best ever!! So thick and rich. I absolutely love the green frosting. I blended spinach into mine once to make it green, haha. Don’t worry, you couldn’t taste it at all. FABulous photos.

These look freaking amazing, Jess! I need to make them, because then they’d be all mine because of course Shane won’t eat anything with green on it, haha!
Oh, and for the monster thing – monsters don’t have joints in their arms (at least the under-the-bed-ones) so as long as none of your limbs are sticking out over the edge, you’re good. ;) ;)

Oh my gosh. I absolutely LOVE avocados! None of my family members really like them but my mom buys bags of like seven and I’m the one who ends up eating them all… Also I was laughing so hard when your husband was like “it was on the subway commercial” haha! Thanks for brightening my day!

Dude, I just found those stringy hairy things in my avocados for the first time last night! I was seriously perturbed. Thickened vascular bundles, huh? Guess I’ll just keep thinking of them as stringy things and pick them out of the avocado slices I’m using to top my mexican rice and spicy shrimp.

Also, my husband keeps bugging me about getting a king-sized bed one day, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. In my opinion, our queen-size is just right for giving us a bit of space, but still being aware of the other person in the bed (except for the dog in the middle of the bed…oh, yeah. That).

I may be the only person on the planet, but I’ve never had any sweet treat containing avocado before! Now all I can think about are these brownies. And more of these brownies! And guacamole because… I’m going out for mexican tonight. YES!

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About Jessica

I’m Jessica and this is where I share my stuff. You will find a balance of healthy recipes, comfort food and indulgent desserts.

I am madly, passionately, inexplicably in love with food. Bacon makes me beam. Chocolate makes me shout from the rooftops with joy. Vegetables and I are the best of frenemies. My perfect world would include none of them.
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