As far as I am concerned, as a new mom, I always have an excuse for doing it wrong...it's my first day.
So what if I'm on my third time around? I'm learning first hand every kid is different, and there are plenty of crazy shenanigans left for us to get into!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Not a lot of Big Love going around...

Sure enough, cranky Carly is back again! It wasn't long at all, was it?Anyway, special thanks to Snarky Belle (who is honestly the provider of most of my news these days), to bringing my attention to the Big Love fiasco. I'm not going to pretend I'm capable of doing a better job summing it up or stating my viewpoint than she did, so I'll just direct you all to her post .When you are done there, come back and check out what I would add.Am I outraged by HBO's decision to show what I deem most sacred on a TV show just for kicks and ratings? You bet. After the initial "I hate Hollywood!!!" ravings started to slow, I was able to think about a few things rationally and while I'm still frustrated, my viewpoint has taken a few shifts. Initially I was upset because it is so insensitive to show things of a sacred nature on any TV show and "how dare they?" As I thought about it, however, I started to think about all the religious ceremonies that are shown on TV or in the movies today. I've seen depictions of what are supposedly, (considering how inaccurate they are when displaying my religion, I won't pretend others are accurate either) Bar Mitzvah, a Jewish Bris, and the Jewish naming ceremony for baby girls (whose name I don't even know, but it was shown on House a few episodes ago). Catholic confession and mass is shown on a near-daily basis, even consistently parodied. For case in point, watch 30-Rock. Non-denominational Christian sermons are shown, crime shows (like Law and Order:SVU) just love to make Pastors and their families into the bad guy--what a twist, the pastor is our rapist!!! The producers of House love using Nuns and Priests as patients so house can prove what they thought were "miracles" was actually some little known disease symptom. Just last night, Criminal Minds was about a priest who murders people during exorcisms. Lisa Simpson became a Buddist, a few years back, and several years ago (like over a decade ago) on The Simpsons, the Flanders tried to baptize the Simpson kids when they discovered they weren't baptized in infancy. Additionally, the Simpsons regularly attend the Church of Springfield run by Rev. Lovejoy, where various aspects of Christian life are parodied. Basically, religious rites and attitudes are everywhere in entertainment, and rarely are they handled with much respect and dignity.

Now, what I'm not sure of is if this is always wrong or not, and I still do love a lot of these shows (some I don't watch regularly, but have seen the above examples). I honestly never thought much about any of these things as being truly offensive, but that might be simply because the things they show are not sacred to me and therefore off my radar. What I don't know, however, is how the respective church members and leadership feel about these depictions. I must admit to laughing my butt off when Homer Simpson opened the front door, and upon finding the aliens Kang and Kodos standing there, he sighs "Oh, great. MORMONS!!" Freaking hilarious. I can take a satiric barb as a member of the church, and I think there's a place to laugh at our own culture. It doesn't bother me at all when Mormons are portrayed as nosy, self-righteous, or uptight, or when outsiders hold a magnifying glass to our beliefs. We are people after all, and those terms do describe a lot of us (like it or not). I am not aware of any outcry from other religions that their rites and ceremonies were too sacred to be depicted, and if (and only if) they don't mind, I am ok with Hollywood doing what it does. Therefore, I have to concede that in a world where little is sacred and there has been no outcry over what it has done in the past, I do not condemn the producers of Big Love for not understanding what sacred even means. It's really quite possible it's never come up before this show.

However, the second church leaders informed them of the sacred nature of these ceremonies and their importance to the members of the church worldwide, they should have stopped out of respect for religious leaders. I may not be Catholic, but as my mother and I recently discussed, upon meeting the Pope I would give him all due reverence and respect--even though he is not my religious leader I understand that he is to many people I love and respect. If any other religion asked a show not to depict their rites in the show, I would support them wholeheartedly and join their cause. In fact, if I were to find out that my Catholic or Jewish friends were offended by a show built around mocking and misrepresenting their beliefs, I would stop watching it simply out of respect for them. That's not just lip service, I'm a big believer in justice for all. That's where my anger and offense comes from, not that the producers of Big Love would think nothing of showing a temple ceremony in the first place, but that they would fly in the face of a world religious leader, and 12 million people worldwide asking them not to and show it anyway. I don't think they would show that kind of disrespect to other world religions, if only to not risk alienating that large a chunk of the viewing public. Further, the fact that when the show first started they promised the church not to show these things, but after all this Prop 8 kerfuffle with Tom Hanks, it seems the producers are taking off the gloves and taking pot shots at a world religion. Classy, really, guys. It looks like you're being sore losers with the timing of all of this. Losers being the operative word.So, considering my new found understanding of Hollywood's lack of understanding, I was finally able to craft a response that I believe took into accounts all sides and properly channeled my anger to the disrespect they have shown, and not the lack of judgement they may not have realized they were showing initially.You can read my email here if you would like. If you want to send your own, Snarky has posted the link at the end of her post!

Dear HBO,I must admit I am surprised and saddened by your decision to depict an LDS temple ceremony in your show Big Love. Although you may not have realized this to be offensive when the idea came forth (after all, so little in this world or any religion is truly considered sacred anymore so I understand the confusion), surely, once you were informed by church leadership that this was discouraged, you should have stopped in your plans immediately. To me, it is a matter of respect to the religions of the world an those that practice them to respect the members wishes. If the Catholic church were to ask you not to show a sacred rite on the show, I would hope you would show them the same courtesy and fight for their dignity--as well as any other religion out there, Christian or otherwise. It speaks volumes of your producers and network that you would mistreat any religious leaders and show such disregard for their wishes. In this diverse world, I do not believe there is ever a valid reason for intentional offense of others. There is certainly enough unintentional offense to go around, and no reason to add to the anger, intolerance, and misunderstanding in the world. This is obviously a very sacred rite for the members of the LDS church and close to our hearts, please refrain from vindictiveness and disrespect. It is especially suspect that the decision to air this ritual it seems to come specifically on the heels of ill-informed and rude comments on the part of one of your producers (Tom Hanks) and truly seems to be used as a way to "punish" those who do not share your producers political views by exposing what LDS people hold most sacred. If that is indeed the case (and of course, only you would know) I am even more saddened by the juvenile use of retribution and intolerance.Please do not show this ceremony and illustrate to the world that there is still respect for the sacred in the entertainment industry.Thank you!

4 comments:

It's a tricky situation. On one hand, making a big deal about it is perhaps exactly what the media wants members of the Church to do. That will bring more attention to their show after all. On the other hand, it's just not cool! I think the important thing to remember is that even if these things are portrayed on television, it does not change how I feel about the temple and it does not change the trueness of the gospel.

About Me

My name is Carly. Once upon a time, I was told that I "encourage sass mouth in others." I've yet to come up with a response that doesn't further prove that point, and it pretty much sums me up. I'm a stay-at-home mom living with my very patient but bit of a clean freak husband. Our oldest daughter, as much of a sass mouth as her mother, was born in 2008. Our son, who seems impervious to both pain and the good sense to avoid it (rough combo) was born in 2011. He is also turning into a sassypants (I blame myself. My husband blames me too. We're both right.) Our youngest daughter just joined the family in 2013, so the jury is still out on her brand of crazy, but it's genetically guaranteed she'll have some sort of weirdness. My hubby and I met when we were only 8 years old, we have been married since 2005, and while I'm certainly not the type to gush about how perfect my husband is on the www, I will cheerfully concede that he is much nicer than me. All five of us love each other a lot, but we're actual human beings just living our lives. I'm still trying my best to get used to this mommy thing and make sure my kids don't turn out too terribly weird. Because it's good to have goals.Feel free to peek in the windows of our asylum. It will probably make you feel better about yourselves. We live to serve.

Truly Random Thoughts I've Had Recently

Lady Gaga finally came out with a song I like. Looks like the apocalypse is next. (9/11)

My 10-year High School reunion is coming up. Suckbuckets.I'm not going, but I still feel the need to say suckbuckets about it. (9/11)

I've read more books in the past three months, than the previous year combined. I am on a reading tear. (9/11)

Peyton is itching to crawl, and instead of inching him on like we did with Sam, I'm resisting the urge to roll him onto his back. It's just infinitely easier. (9/11)

The other day, I noticed I start a lot of posts with "the other day." Haha. (9/11)

I have a harder time shopping without the kids now than I do with them. Apparently, I have whisper-yelling while removing superfluous items from the cart, while keeping track of coupons, while actually shopping, down to an art. When Sam isn't there, it throws off my equilibrium and I find myself wandering down aisles forgetting what I came for and standing at the checkout forgetting to answer all the debit machine question until the cashier reminds me. I have arrived. I am mom.

Not too long ago, someone called me "uncool." I have no idea why that person thought I would be hurt, as a grown adult, by something I cared nothing about in high school. Yep, I'm uncool. Always have been, and most likely always will be. Let's move on.

I recently saw an article in a parenting magazine that claimed to answer the question "How to Find Out if You Have Mom Hair." I don't need an article to tell me that, I have roots halfway down my head and split ends to prove it. The real question is--how to get rid of Mom hair for free--because the reason I tolerate this state of my hair is because I don't want to spend the money to fix it. Most moms I know are the same way--they aren't walking around working mom hair (or mom jeans) because they think they look fabulous, it's because to pay more for their hair (or pants) is literally a choice of not buying diapers for their kid or something. Sheesh, magazine people, get a little perspective.

There is nothing good on TV. Like ever. Seriously.

I thought Sam had entered the Terrible Twos when she was around 15 months old. Now that she's been two for all of two weeks, I realize I was wrong. This is the terrible twos. I can't change a diaper without getting kicked, and she laughs when I punish her for it, yet she refuses to be potty trained. Why this was not a circle in Dante's Inferno puzzles me to no end.

It's been a really long time since I posted a random thought.

One of the greatest things our country has ever given us is the First Amendment and the right to free speech. It is for this reason that I am thoroughly thankful to be an American. However, there is one other gem this country has given us that I also adore, because it embodies how I feel about our God and government given rights. "Don't tread on me." This isn't an out of date sentiment from Revolutionary War days--but a feeling that exists in the heart of every American here and now, but especially mine. "Don't tread on me."

I was putting Sam's legs into her shorts this morning. When the first leg went in I yelled "One!" When the second leg went in, I yelled "Two!" Sam looked up at me and yelled "FREEEE!!!!" I guess all that "When I get to three you are going to time out!" is teaching her something. Not what I thought it was, but something nonetheless.

Putting sassy comments in the ward bulletin makes me happy!

My baby is going through a phase, and learning to throw tantrums. Today, I called Daniel and asked "She was really cute and sweet right? Like up until last week?" I expected the terrible twos, but the terrible one? That stinks.

The trouble with Taylor Swift is that every time I hear one of her songs I think "Awwww. How sweet is that? I wish I was back in High School..." Not 10 seconds later I realize "Hey, wait a minute, High School SUCKED!" I feel cheated. Darn you, your cheerful optimism and your skinny blonde popularity, Taylor Swift!

I would rather change a dirty diaper than clean off the highchair tray. Is that weird? I just hate the disgusting tray!! Food is supposed to be gross on the way out, but to wipe undigested light green mush that looks like boogers off plastic just bothers me.

Holy cow, Daniel was right about the Cardinals! I'm excited and creeped out at the same time. Start repenting and keep your eyes peeled for horsemen...

I love the fact that Daniel has endless faith no matter what the facts say. He can still buy into the lie that "the Cardinals can be good this year," when his jaded wife will never believe it. You raise me up, baby. It is so cute that you believe that. I personally expect them to build up expectations to the max and then fail spectacularly as usual...

I found a Red Ryder carbine action bb gun with a compass in the stock at Bass Pro Shop. Words can not describe how happy that made me. Long live Ralphie.

Whatever happened to "it came without ribbons, it came without tags, it came without packages, boxes, or bags?" Maybe we all just need to spend a little less time trying to put the right number of presents under our trees, and a little more time watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The good cartoon one, not the terrible Jim Carrey flick.

Move over Rudolph, Elmo, and even Ernest...apparently Kmart is saving Christmas this year.

It's bad enough that the "Holiday" station on the radio only owns like 5 Christmas CDs, but why, oh why does one of them have to be Wham!? "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart..." but the very next day, you threw your stereo at my head.

All I want for Christmas is to sleep through the night. This is not a joke.

Where's my bailout?! Huh, Congress? Why did I bother with the 30-year-fixed loan and carefully planned budget instead of opting to be a millionaire with unethical business tactics? Can I have a golden parachute?

Fine then, can I have a dollar for a mini-Frosty?

Just how many weeks can a baby spend at the "rocking on all fours" stage teetering at the edge of crawling. Seriously.

An elephant would make a lousy roommate.

Why does Sam move her head just barely off the burp rag to throw up?

If Daniel had bugged me when I was in college trying to study as much as I bug him now, I would have killed him long ago.

Where on earth do Olympic rhythmic gymnasts get their start?

Is ping-pong really a sport? No, no it's not.

Is it possible for a baby to go this long without a nap? At some point, won't they finally shut down like my laptop?