Saturday, December 21, 2013

Travel notes and other bullshit

Its been like close to 4 weeks since I have vomited ,I mean since I have blogged .I don't know why my mind always relates a blog to vomit.Its actually analogous if you think deeper, a person vomits when his system is unable to digest something in the same way some people jot down their thoughts when they are unable to bear the aberrations around them.

So, what I was upto in the last 3-4 weeks. In my line of work which actually not a line but a typhoon which is engulfing me deep into itself;every time some old bull is promoted, a new vertical or department is started to cater to his whims and creative inputs. Every cacophony that is invented up in the SHQ is to be suffered by the lowest organism in the Pyramid ,but it is not actually a pyramid but more like that multi headed dog like the one which used to guard sorcerer's stone in Harry Potter one and we bear the pressure of its heavy bottom.

I had to travel to Pune for my module training.It was more of hands on diagnostic training.Actually it was very good .We were actually given a problem in a Vehicle and made to solve it with the help of Manuals and circuit diagrams and figure out the course of action. First problem that was given to us went over our heads.We as CSMs are in a habit of barking down orders but this time around when we were asked actually to diagnose the vehicle we quickly jostled to occupy rear seats in the spacious Aria and started sharing the dirtiest jokes right from Hyderabad to Ludhiana , from Dehradun to Coimbtore...from Bengal to Ahmedabad.That's the beauty of the Field service.People are strewn across India. I was recently transferred from the Hottest Hell in India to the Biryani Nagar. One thought that often used to cross my mind during my stay that why on earth was Agra chosen as capital city by Mughals when in summers even the Jamuna decides to suicide.Why?? I may have to brush up my history again.

Secondly one question that troubled me at the time of my transfer was that how can a person(HR) decide where to throw(read place) 22 young single people across India without considering their choices and without knowing them,well an answer occured to me,he must have placed a map of India on the wall of his/her cabin and thrown darts at it with our names on it and my dart must have hit around Hyderabad.

While our train was reaching Pune and then Pimpri ,both of us were hesitant to de-board the comfort of our Two Tier Ac compartment so we decided to break the law and get off at Lonavala. Well actually both of us had enough of Audits ,customer complaints and what not. So, we thought to do a bit of adventure in Lonavala. But first we had to find a cloak room to deposit our extra luggage . so, we asked at the ticket vendor about cloak room. She asked us to get small locks for our bags and come from backside to make the deposits.After receiving our receipts we embarked on a unforgettable journey which was cut short by a very small "thing". But the problem was that none of us had been to Lonavala, plus our smart phones had one snag or the other, so without GPS or your Sweet Google to guide you , we decided to call our friend(that's how people lived all these centuries without these Google Bastards).

So, we called one of much travelled friend who frequently visited Lonavala last year during our 4 month long stay in the heaven named Koregaon Park(courtesy: myemployers).
According to him Bushy Dam will be the place to go.
Next we hired an auto after much deliberations and haggling, he agreed on 150 bucks but like typical Indian aunties we still pestered him.

But believe me the road leading to Bushy Dam was awesome,there was a artificial lake on the way, which had a wall towards the road. It was closed for public , don't know the reason, and just after two three kms , you will find a small rusted board on your right pointing towards the Bushy dam. And even before we got down the auto, a old mataji started selling her guava's to us. Both of us politely refused .It was an ordinary half paved way, and you have to cross a dry nallah first, then climb up slope and few huge stairs and Lo behold the beauty is in front of you , the blue serene waters and the trees on the bank dispelled any of the misgivings we had while walking towards it. On the top there was a nimbu pani wallah, who was playing some old Dard Bhara Song. Suddenly a thought comes to mind , all the places which people visit with girlfriends be it Nainital, Bhimtal or the Taj Mahal I always end with some male friends.In India its is like "Yarran da tashan" but in some other more civilised parts of the world this might be considered as queer.

To reach it banks you must walk around the corner of the boundary wall that holds the water. An then climb down towards the bank. Our only luggage was our Laptops which had sucked the life out of us. We just had dropped our bags that Arpit got a call from he-who -must -not -named.Today he had decided to take a review of a set-up Arpit was looking after , so he was ordered to send the performance excel sheets of the last six months . I have no doubt that HE himself could have downloaded the data in less than 10 minutes, but then what's the fun of being called the Boss. I suggested to Arpit to take his sim card out and enjoy the serenity of lake.But he decided to take out his 20% battery left company provided laptop, logged in and and again proved that bonded labour still exists.

I know I am sounding like an pompous ass, but given the circumstances ,I would have done the same.

Take a look at the lake.

I have often found myself asking smart people that why does a large water-body calms your inner turbulence.
Is it like its restless yet restricted domain resonates with our most basic structure or do we just relate with the small continuous waves that strike the shore as the millions of futile thoughts which vanish at the first instance of action.Well, I need to spend some nights on this problem.

So,
now I have positioned myself under the canopy so that I can type these lines.

I
would like to the mention that trip is completely sponsored by my employers though
they wanted it to be single day
affair.But then we with our ingenuity have converted it into a one day homey
moon.While Arpit was compiling the bullshit data One couple
made a sneering comment again in some alien
language all we could catch was “ Some something Laptopaaa” followed by
laughter, with my one comment on his wife
with her tight jeans and noodle hair, I could have killed their laughter for
at least a month , but I was too much engrossed in my own thoughts to be bothered by their remarks.

On
my left side , there is couple , BF-GF , they are clicking photos of each
other in as many as poses possible.I wonder if either of them is plotting for
Divorce after this trip. As soon as she stands up, I miss a heart beat , for
she is exactly as tall she is .I look up to the clear blue sky, as
if he is looking down upon us, why dude?? Why don’t you let me enjoy the beauty
of nature and let me forget that pain, but some how the wind takes up speed and
immediately makes a howling sound across my ears ,as if carrying his answer "FUCK OFF”.I smile to myself A girl sitting on a rock on my
right a about 100 meters away is looking at me on and off ,
she's cute, a bit heavy with round face and curly hair, She is part of a group but
sitting a bit away from them. I am guessing its an official picnic, on which you don’t want to go but you
have to. All of his group is busy clicking photos of each other with a tree
as if that it is a pole in a strip bar. She looked embarrassed.So,
before I embark on another misadventure I turned my thoughts inside.

There
is a small cottage across the lake, I wish I had such a cottage to my self where I could visit
once in a year spent two or three months alone and write my heart out. It is
covered by a canopy of trees of trees
and with small brown hills against its backdrop it is looking amazing .Had you been there with me you could have got a better
idea why I desired that cottage more than that curly haired chick who was left
disappointed by my lack of initiative despite her continuous stares.

So ,we spent about an hour staring on the blue waters oblivious to all the chatter couples were making and then we decided to visit another tourist attraction, again we dialled the number of the same old friend who suggested some Tiger point. As soon we walked out on the main road, we saw small hill and decided to do a bit of hiking and lets see how far do we manage to climb and forgot about that tiger hill expedition.The brown grass and the small hill were inviting us and after climbing 11000 feet last year in Uttarkashi(courtey TSAF) it seemed like puny mound of earth. So, without a second thought we started our trail on the unbeaten path.

Blazing sun and brown grass made the journey great, and it was feeling like a pilgrimage to some place we both were unsure , but something made us to undertake the trek .

After the steep climb there was a flat portion which we crossed quickly and reached the other end of the lake.

And that my friends was one of the best views of the water body.

After clicking some more pics we continued on the unknown path.After covering about 300 meters while I was climbing a small rocky surface my eyes widened at the sight of a very small green coloured Snake with two red strips on its body who was in a attack position,I shouted out and ran.Had it decided to run after me, you would have read about this adventure posthumously from some friends or in a News paper.

" Young engineer killed by wild- life while looking for the meaning of Life "

Would have been a hell of a headline.So, in this way we finally understood that all those whistles around us were actually lunch calls by snakes as we has invaded their homeland at the wrong time and in wrong season wearing sandals and carrying laptops.

So, we did what Punjabis call, "chetti chetti" and cursed Paulo Coelho while climbing down.