Letting Go Required to Let One In

It has been rockin’ this week at Dating With Dignity! On Tuesday and Wednesday we launched the “8 Weeks to MANifesting Love” Program. The women in these two groups are open, brave, beautiful and FUN. I am blessed to be part of their journey towards finding love. There is much change in store; I will keep you updated here when there are important issues, breakthroughs or questions that come up in the groups.

This week we discussed how Limiting Beliefs, which are things that you accept about life, yourself, or the world, and how it drives what kind of men and women you meet. Here are some examples of common Limiting Beliefs: “Men over 40 only want to date younger women.” Or, “All men/women in LA are superficial.” Or, “If I get into a relationship I will have to lose my independence.” If you believe these thoughts to be true, it is most likely that this is what you will create in your life. But is this what you really want?

What are your Limiting Beliefs? Jot them down. Once you have the list, go through each one and ask yourself these questions:

1. How true is this belief, really?
2. Where did I get this idea from?
3. How has this belief affected me?
4. What action can I take to let go of this belief? How can I put this into action immediately?

I invite you to leave your list of Limiting Beliefs, and the strategies you use to let them go in the comments box at the end of this blog. Those readers who leave at least two Limiting Beliefs/Strategies will earn themselves a 30 minute complimentary telephone coaching session with me! I’m looking forward to your responses.

We also held the first in the series of ASK the Expert teleclasses today. Dating expert David Wygant shared some excellent tips with callers. Take a look at these juicy nuggets:

1. The best places to meet men and women include gourmet and organic food stores (a la Whole Food, Trader Joe’s) a bike path, hiking, and Starbucks. The worst places? you guessed it: Bars and clubs, especially during weekends. If you want to increase your chances of being approached, head out to a local restaurant or coffee shop by yourself. Bring a book, newspaper or your laptop. Don’t wear headphones though, having buds in your ears screams “don’t approach” to potential new friends.

2. If a man introduces sex into the conversation, asks for sexy pictures, or makes innuendos early in a phone call, instant message conversation, or date you can surmise he most likely isn’t looking for a relationship. David reminded callers to trust their intuition. If it feels odd, move on.

3. If you are not certain how a man feels about moving from casual to a relationship, you can be sure he isn’t interested in making a commitment. David repeated what I discussed in an earlier post: When a man is interested in you he will profess (e.g., tell the world you are “his” woman), protect (give you his jacket or walk you to your car) and provide (buy you dinner, fix your sink, or change your lightbulb).

4. Love yourself enough to let go of men who don’t meet your needs.

The next ASK teleclass is Thursday, September 24 with two Matchmaking experts at Catch Matchmaking! Registration information will be posted soon.

I’m off to Sacramento this weekend for continuing education via the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC). Will share tomorrow. Until then, peace.