DON’T GO BACON MY HEART

My wife is actually a weirdo. She claims she doesn’t. like. bacon. How is this even a thing?! Bacon is the main reason I’m not a vegetarian. Bacon makes everything better in life.

Trying to palm me off with the low fat crap like I won't notice the difference

In fact the phrase “bringing home the bacon” relates back to marriage, not money as you may have thought. Back in 12th century England churches would award a side of bacon to any married man who swore before God that he and his wife had not argued for a year and a day. These men who “brought home the bacon” were looked upon as good husbands. I’m pretty sure that the 12th Century version of Jack would behave himself for a whole year for a slice of salty meaty goodness.

Nowadays we’re spoilt for choice whilst sauntering down the bacon aisle, there’s even multiple types available, even for Vegans! I did a bit of a recon mission and planned to purchase some to try, just because I’m a big believer in “don’t knock it til you’ve tried it” (you may recall the coffee blog post where Mrs S made me drink bacon coffee and it was bloody delicious). Unfortunately however it doesn’t look in the least bit appetizing, possibly something that Chuck the dog would pick up in the park. So no, I’m not trying it, not even for the name of research I’m afraid.

Even Fido turned his nose up at the vegan nonsense

But no one loves bacon like our American cousins, some old stats that I’ve found said that in one year over $4billion was blown on bacon sales so it’s probably even more by now. I’m shortly off to the States to pilgrimage to the barbecue Mecca of the world, but I just know there is most definitely one thing that I’ll crave like mad whilst I’m there. A proper English bacon butty.

The reason for this is simple, Americans claim to know bacon but sadly they are mislead. You see American bacon is cut from the belly which is what we know to be streaky bacon. English bacon, or Back bacon as we know it is that absolute sweet spot which is cut from both the meaty loin AND the fatty belly. I have searched high and low when I visit California and I can never find our version and so it is always the first thing I cook myself when we touch down back in good old blighty.

Yank Bacon

Limey Bacon

It's funny but there is some really weird and wonderful bacon shit out there that I can’t help but mention, just because they made me bust a little manly giggle and I hope they do for you too.

First of all we have the Oscar Mayer bacon app which was available in 2014 and replaced your regular soul destroying alarm sound with the sound AND SMELL of bacon sizzling. Yes that’s right, the smell of bacon coming from your phone. You couldn’t actually buy this masterpiece you had to take a quiz in order to be entered into a prize draw but by George I would have sold the missus to get my hands on one of these.

Making getting up a bit more bearable

Stuck for gift to buy for your loved one? Or pissed the other half right off and in need to get an emergency I’m sorry gift? Why get a bouquet of flowers when you can send a bouquet of bacon instead? Sadly again only available in the US, https://www.baconbouquets.com/ is a gifting revolution.

My kind of gift!

And what to say about Epic Meal Time. If you're not already in the know these Canadian Youtubers came on the scene in 2010 and it is impossible to watch just one of their videos they are ridiculously addictive. If these guys ever need a fellow bearded food enthusiast then I'm your man - I mean I should be allowed to join on the strength of my beard alone! In this video the chaps cooked so much bacon that co-creator Harley Morenstein claims that it broke his oven. Truly epic!