Some say good manners and proper etiquette are out of style, banished to the attic with starched white blouses and business suits. Not so, according to etiquette consultants Lila Putney and Libby Marth of The Protocol School of Virginia in Richmond, Va.

"Many individuals and companies are realising the importance of mastering both busi- ness and social etiquette skills," says Libby "They are paying more attention to how they present themselves and how they interact with others. Dining skills are also impor- tant as more companies include a dining experience as part of the interview process.

"Also, in the last decade, there has been a need to establish etiquette rules as they relate to the use of new technology, such as cell phones and the Internet. Etiquette for more casual work environments has been challenging to many individuals and the corporate world."

If you've ever caught yourself wondering what to do, Putney and Marth give tips for the 10 most common social situations that make people feel uncomfortable and how to deal with them.

What shall I wear? Even though casual attire is favoured today in many settings, it's still important to dress professionally, everyone from staff to boss.

Is that my phone ringing? Cell phone abuse is com- mon these days rings or music everywhere we go, people talking loudly in offices, stores, banks and even restaurants. Public cell phone use intrudes on your personal space.

Who are you? We have all been in awkward situa- tions where we don't know a person in a group. At business and social events, introduce yourself and other people to the group; include something about yourself or the other person as a conversation starter. Everyone feels comfortable and connected.

What do I say now? In today's work and social are- nas, it's important to know how to make small talk. Regularly read the newspaper, magazines and watch news shows so you have topics to talk about. Stay away from controversial topics: Politics and religion.

Am in charge? When you head a committee or proj- ect or volunteer as a room parent for your child's class, plan ahead so you stay organised and focused. Also, be sure the clothes you want to wear are clean and available (not at the cleaners). Whoops! I forgot to write a thank you note. It is never too late to thank someone.

Which bread plate is mine? It can be over- whelming to sit down to a formal dinner and have an array of plates, utensils and glassware before you and no idea which ones you should use. Remember, your napkin and bread plate are on your left and your beverages are on your right.

At business affairs, avoid heading straight for food or beverage stations. Use the event to make new friends, new associates and new contacts.

She has spinach between her teeth, what do I do? It's easy to discreetly motion with your finger or quietly tell the person so they can fix the problem.

Actions speak louder than words! The Golden Rule still applies for good etiquette in all situations and for all genders: Treat others as you would have them treat you.

And this isn't about changing your language, your vocabulary, or your proficiency with words. It is more about changing the outlook, and the messages delivered thereof. And professionally it does make a lot of difference.
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