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Joey C.

I had no idea she’s go so deep into the archives of rogue fitness routines to try to pull out the win but apparently nothing is beneath Muffy when she competes.

My Manchester Athletic Club Spy Cam caught her top secret workout regimen which has propelled her over me in the standings-

The really cool thing is that even though I’m on vacation I can strap on my fitness band and it will record up to 16 hours of my workouts even if I’m away from the MAC.

I’d much rather work out at the MAC but as soon as I pop back in to the club all the data from my workouts away from the MAC will be uploaded to the servers and tabulated (don’t ask me how it works, it just does).

The challenge and this MyZone band has totally motivated me to take my workouts up a notch.

I’ll be experimenting with Muffy’s rogue workout regimen once I get back into town. On that you can be sure.

If you want more info on joining the MAC or getting started with MyZone, call 978-526-8900

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These are available at Smith Hardware up at Gloucester Crossing and I assume the Rockport location too. Damn varmint raccoons. I’ve had my share of run-ins with raccoons. Hate the little bastards.

When I step back and look at the situation I know I could take the little sons-a-bitches but in real life face to face they scare the shit out of me. I literally turn into a girly man. Like even if I’m holding a nine iron and there’s no way the raccoon could get to me before implanting the club squarely in it’s forehead I’m scared to hell of the things. Can’t explain it, it’s just the way it is.

Boom! I shot up out of bed like a rocket figuring that the maniac (Snoop Maddie Mad) finally figured out how to climb out of her crib and had landed with a thud. The Mrs, startled said no it didn’t … Continue reading →

The best way to get your fill of sarcasm+bitching-about-sarcasm is to request some of Inge’s most witty and sarcastic songs and then complain about how you’re offended by them. Here are a few choice examples:

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There will come a day either in middle school or high school or on the street with friends that somebody offers you pills to get high.

Do yourself a favor and just never ever ever ever ever take one. Not if it’s free, not if your friend or acquaintance makes fun of you or calls you a pussy. Not if that really hot chick that you’ve been dying to get with is there and she is taking one. There’s no freaking reason for you to take a pill recreationally.

Yes you’re young. Yes you feel invincible and your testosterone and estrogen are doing crazy things to your body. But just trust me on this one. I’ve seen smart good looking people that thought they would only take them once in a while just completely screw their lives up. First you need one or two,, then one or two turns into four or six, then your missing days at work, stealing from your parents to get money for pills, then you try the oxytocin, then the oxy becomes too expensive and while just a year before you would laugh at the idea that you would ever consider sticking a needle in your arm you have to get high and the only thing you can afford is a cheap bag of crack or heroin.

There’s no need to take pills. None. Not to look cool because some hot piece of ass broad is taking pills, not because your buddy is taking them, no reason. No reason at all.

Please don’t consider this preaching. Just consider it a friendly message from someone who wants the best for you. I’ve seen handsome young men turn into walking dead zombies and I want better for you. I’ve seen beautiful young women turn into crack ho’s with brown jagged teeth and sullen sunken in faces that made them look 30 years older than they were.

Oh, and stay in school for as long as you can pull it off, it’s wayyyy easier than working for a living.

Below is just a snapshot, Twitter updates as the retailers who are on my list update their twitter feeds. So click on the list for the latest. If you are a local retailer, tweet your Ladies night deals and let the GMG and Joey Twitter List Know.

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John McElhenny submits – On Wednesday a German photographer stopped by to take hunky pin-up calendar photos of Joey down the dock. Today, there’s our Joey again in a photo spread in the Gloucester Times. He’s been profiled and quoted in magazines and newspapers way more times than anyone could count. We know Joey’s rugged good looks are like nectar to photographers. But is there a danger he’ll become overexposed and people will tire of his George Clooney-like mug?

Joey C. and Justin Bieber: Which one gets more media? It’s a close call.

This is a big concern for Joey’s future modeling career. So it’s important that we ask readers:

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You’ve heard me rail on about the world’s greatest lobster roll for four years now.

We’ve dismantled countless frou frou high brow chefs and food bloggers who couldn’t leave perfection alone and had to go and mess up the perfect lobster roll with such atrocious ingredients as paprika, celery, lettuce, relish onion, pickles, avocado and such ridiculous platforms for rolls such as French baguette rolls and anadama bread.

Yu can read about all those abortions these dopes tried to pass off as lobster rolls here-

But what I’m about to tell you is going to turn a lot of what I’m saying on it’s head I guess. Or another way to look at it is actually more accurate in that as I’ve told you from the beginning- that simplicity and not overthinking the lobster roll and it’s perfection is the way to go so simplifying in the way I’m going to explain actually falls right inline with what I’ve been saying.

Night before last the Mrs asks me to bring home some lobster so she can make lobster rolls. She tells me she wants to try something different than her traditional recipe.

I brought home 5 lbs of medium shell lobster and she made two lobster rolls based off her original recipe-

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I’m gonna be interviewed by VB tomorrow morning in a ten questions segment on FOX. The over/under on questions guessed correctly by me is at 3 and I’m taking the under because I am a complete moron when it comes to history and I’m fairly certain that 90% of the questions will be Gloucester History.

It’s gonna be ugly I ‘m warning you now. best not to watch this train wreck. At 7:15AM

Here’s the latest press release from Maggie Hennessey-Nees, Director of Marketing and Community Affairs at Fox 25

FOX 25 MORNING NEWS – UPCOMING TV SEGMENT

FOX25 Morning News is on the road for another season of Zip Trips! Every Friday morning we’re live in cities and towns across New England. This is the ninth year of Zip Trips with visits to more than 150 New England communities. Our final summer stop this season will be Gloucester, MA 01930! Join FOX25 Morning News Co-hosts Gene Lavanchy and Shannon Mulaire, Meteorologist Cindy Fitzgibbon, News Commentator Doug “VB” Goudie and Reporter Elizabeth Hopkins on Friday, August 31st, at Stage Fort Park on Hough Avenue. Our live broadcast is from 6 a.m. – 10 a.m.

Neighbors, residents, and kids of all ages who want to share their “Gloucester Pride” are encouraged to be part of our live audience! We’ll have special guests and features that celebrate the unique qualities of Gloucester. Explore the town, meet the people, and enjoy specialty food demonstrations.

Features Include:

* Taste of the Town: Local restaurants, cafés or bakeries demonstrate savory dishes and sweet treats!

• Home Town Team: A salute to a youth or senior team ranging from baseball and soccer to the local running club!

• Zip Trip Trivia: VB tries to stump a special guest with town trivia.

• Home Town Hero: Meet the local hero who helps out whenever needed! We’ll feature a resident who’s making a difference.

• On the Market: Why is Gloucester a great place to live? Preview homes in three price points and hear about schools, services and recreation.

• Firehouse Fridays: Local firefighters will be honored for all they do.

• Zip Trip Fan of the Week: We’ll pick someone from the crowd with true Zip Trip Spirit as our Fan of the Week.

• Zip Trip Jr. Reporter: We’ll select a child from the crowd to help us with a few reporter duties.

• Town Tour: The FOX25 Morning News team explores the best eats, must-see attractions, hidden gems, and little known landmarks!

• Children’s Book Drive: Donate a new children’s book to benefit Reach Out and Read.

Residents are invited to drop-off a brand new children’s book from our book list featured on the Zip Trip page at myfoxboston.com. All new books collected will benefit Reach Out and Read, a national nonprofit that prepares America’s youngest children to succeed in school by partnering with doctors to prescribe books and encourage families to read together.

Zip Trip attendees will also have the chance to find out who will win a new Mazda CX-5 as we conclude the Mazda Zip Trip Giveaway! Complete contest details are available on the contest page at www.myfoxboston.com<http://www.myfoxboston.com/>. Prizes, games, children’s story time, and free products (while suppl ies last) will be part of the fun provided by our Zip Trip partners including: Dunkin Donuts, New England Mazda Dealers, Digital Federal Credit Union (DCU), McGeough Lamacchia Realty, Fallon Community Health Plan, Sal’s Pizza, Tedeschi Food Shops, Catania Hospitality Group, The Paper Store, Canobie Lake Park, The Steamship Authority and Hunt’s Photo & Video.

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I have the greatest idea in the history of underwear and I can’t believe this hasn’t been done already.

With the insano heat we’ve been experiencing I know men everywhere will agree that a sweaty nutbag that’s stuck to your leg is just no fun.

Nike makes the greatest Dri-Fit moisture wicking t shirts known to man so why not whip up some Dri-Fit Boxer Briefs?

Hey I’ll be the spokesmodel for free. I’ll be the first customer and I’ll promise to buy 10 pairs (white please, I don’t need any fancy wierdo colors or designs, call me traditional)

Just get on it and produce me some Nike like STAT.

Men everywhere shouldn’t have to endure heat induced sticky nuts all day long when the answer and the technology is there for the taking.

My platform if I ever run for President will be nice dry nutsacks for every man in America if I get elected. Screw wasting money on all these messed up pseudo environmental programs where the only one saving or making money are the hacks behind these pseudo green technologies who take bajillions from our taxes. I’m promising a better American guaranteed and it starts with nice dry nuts.

Dry Nuts are Happy Nuts- That’s what I always say.

Who’s With Me?

Signed Joey C

#Boom!

(I’ve dated some broads in the past that could probably benefit from some Dri-Fit panties as well) just sayin…

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The hardware apple pumps out is without parallel. The specs on the new MacBook Pro makes it a dream machine.

I am a fan of the iPhone, I am a HUGE fan of the iPad, I am a ginormous fan of Apple hardware. What I know though is that for editing my blog quickly and for creating video clips with titles and credits and transitions and getting them published to the web I can do all of this faster on my windows 7 based PC for 1/4 of the price of the MacBook Pro.

I’ll challenge anyone, anywhere to a blog content creating competition- them using the new MacBook Pro and me using my 3 year old Gateway with an Intel i3 processor and Windows 7 with the free Windows Live Essentials suite of software which includes Live Writer and Live Movie Maker.

Keep in mind that I paid $550 for my gateway and the new MacBook Pro starts at $2200.

The "MacBook pro with Retina Display," the starship’s official name, starts at $2200 with a 2.3 GHz Ivy Bridge processor, 8 GB of RAM, and a 256 SSD. Ships today. If you want to max it out—2.7 GHz processor, 16 GB of RAM, and the 768 GB SSD, it’ll hit you $3750.

The pricetag is a whole lot of dough and you get what you pay for if you are only concerned about having the very best hardware available. But I believe when Microsoft introduced Windows 7 it introduced for my uses an operating system that allows me to do things way faster. Ask Kim Smith when she needs to render a movie on her iMac and it takes half a day what would take me 30minutes on my PC.

Hardware is only part of the equation. if you don’t have the software for what you want to do because they don’t make it for Apple it’s tough luck for you.

So if you have money to burn (and I mean if you have the kind of money where you light your cigars with $100 bills) and are already happy with Apple’s operating system and basically use your computer for surfing the web 99% of the time, knock yourself out and buy one of these gorgeous, powerful machines.

But if you want something to blog on and do a fair amount of power using, save your money and buy a slick windows based Ultrabook which might be spec’d out a little less but will cost you anywhere from 1/2 to 1/3 of the price and will allow you to create content much quicker.

I wish that MacBook Pro was introduced a little cheaper, not so I could buy one, but just so the Windows based Ultrabook which it competes with and will be the next family computer would come down in price as a competitor. At that outrageous price of $2200 I think the Ultrabooks won’t even budge down in price a little and actually might have a little better pricing power.

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You want to get that story placed? Food.

Sounds too easy, right?

But there’s something about food that is primal, that hits people in subconscious places that I can’t really describe. Personally I’m hard pressed to say no to someone that shows up here with a cannoli or a cup of coffee and a pastry and pitches a story. Or a restaurant that occasionally tunes me up. I never ask for anything and lots of times I turn down an offer for some free grub but it’s more the gesture of the offer and then if I’m hungry and someone puts food in front of me- I remember that.

To be clear, I would never give a glowing recommendation for a restaurant that sucks ass. I wouldn’t trade in my credibility for that. If I’m raving about something, believe me it is rave worthy.

I’m just saying that for a little gesture like a cannoli, a story that I might phone in gets a little extra special attention, whether it be a heavy web traffic time placement or the amount of time I’ll devote toward editing some shitty copy, whatever. Let’s just say it’s a good investment to show up with something tasty.

I know you want to try to work with the tools you learned at college in books or from your time at a newspaper where you were supposed to have journalistic integrity, but this is 2012 baby and you’re in PR. You’ve already sold out, you’ve got a job to do, you’ve got a story to place, you want results. Get that story pitched with a nice big goddamned cannoli and I guarantee your success rate jumps up by at least 50%.

Of course the best pitch is for something that truly is a great story with mass appeal for a reporter or media outlet but if you’re working with a dogshit story to begin you gotta think like that old school adage- “The fastest way to a man’s heart is his stomach” So picture your crappy story like the chubby pimply 33 year old broad that can’t find a mate to spend their life with but figures out how to cook up a storm and suddenly finds the man of her dreams because she feeds him like a king.

It sounds so primal, right? Well you can overcomplicate things and talk PR acronyms all day long from your PR how-to guide book or you can show up with a cannoli and make things happen. #Boom!

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Free GMG Gloucester Sticker

As long as supplies last if any GMG folks want a bumper sticker but can't drop down the dock, just send a self addressed and stamped envelope longer then 7 and a half inches and I'll drop one in the mail for you.

Send the self addressed and stamped envelope to the dock at 95 East Main St Gloucester Ma 01930 care of Joey (put my name in big letters to make sure it gets to me)

Free GMG Gloucester Sticker

As long as supplies last if any GMG folks want a bumper sticker but can't drop down the dock, just send a self addressed and stamped envelope longer then 7 and a half inches and I'll drop one in the mail for you.

Send the self addressed and stamped envelope to the dock at 95 East Main St Gloucester Ma 01930 care of Joey (put my name in big letters to make sure it gets to me)