Whether you’re in, out or you’re shakin’ it all about, right now, nothing appears to come across as a more divisive, angry, soul-destroying shambles to have hit these isles like Brexit. Or so you thought.

Now imagine if a deadly virus strikes these isles. An unknown, uncontrollable, and unstoppable horror, spreading from the Yorkshire region to the rest of the UK and then across the world at a terrifying rate. And not only does it affect humans, but animals too.

How? A virus spread in dreams. And it begins in the tiny moorside village of Upsall.

Unwittingly distributed by the dreamspinners, Ebora infects whole tranches of the world during the hours of darkness, as we toss and turn in our sleep. This fast acting, fast mutating, destructive pathogen plunges swathes of the population into a deathly nightmare.

The path to the fall of the world is upon us… or is it?

Ebora (from Ebor = York) puts Brexit in the shade.

In Spider Web Powder Prime Minister, Kingsford, explains the drastic measures the Government have been forced to put into place, from the lectern in Downing Street.

‘People of the United Kingdom,’ he began, ‘Never, in the annals of our history, has this country seen a crisis as grave as the situation that squares up to us now. This evening, I speak to you as your leader. I also speak to you as a husband and a father — an ordinary man. I don’t doubt that the words and actions that are about to follow will be met with shock. But I ask you all, before I say any more, to understand that these measures have been driven upon us as a very last resort. And, therefore, I urge you to hear what I have to say with level-headed understanding so that, together, we may face the threat in front of us with the decency and common spirit that I know resides within the marrow of each and every one of you.’

He shuffled nervously and glanced quickly at his team before continuing.

‘Following the devastating floods in the Yorkshire area, a virus known as Ebora has emerged. It is a strain that has never been seen before. It is a freak. There is no rhyme nor reason as to Ebora’s aggressive nature. It is a silent enemy that we do not, as yet, understand, but rest assured, we will. As I speak to you now, top scientists from around the world are trying to identify Ebora’s complex properties in order to find a vaccine. But they require more time.’

The camera zoomed in on his face. ‘Earlier today I met with the COBRA team who have been working non-stop to provide the necessary framework that we hope will protect as many lives as possible in the foreseeable future. Their work is being actioned as I speak. This is the result of top-level consultations and has the agreement of all sides of the houses of Parliament.

‘In order to give ourselves the best opportunity to limit Ebora’s destructive path, our first step is to restrict the movement of people in and around the country. For the foreseeable future, until we are free from this threat, it is with a very heavy heart that I must announce the following.’

The Prime Minister shuffled his notes and held a long pause. A global audience of billions reached into their TV sets.

‘From midnight tomorrow, a safety net will be pulled over our land and drawn around our borders. Every airport in Britain, every railway and waterway will be vacated. Motorway traffic will be limited to emergency use only, local travel will be possible, but ill-advised. For safety reasons, internet use will be limited. Supermarkets, power companies, media organisations and their distribution partners will fall under the temporary control of Government departments.

‘These drastic measures are to ensure that food and necessary supplies can be provided to everyone, at the right time, without panic and without preference, so that the fundamental elements of our existence may continue.’

The Prime Minister paused to sip some water and then continued.

‘While we learn how to tackle Ebora, life must, and will go on. This evening, do not rush to your local stores, do not go outside for unnecessary errands or for social occasions. Consider everything closed. Many of you will have noticed the presence of the military in our cities and in our towns and villages. I urge you not to be alarmed. They are there for no other reason but to protect you, to organise the relief effort and to enforce law and order.’

Kingsford now used all his theatrical skills, and slowly addressed the camera.

‘Let me be absolutely clear,’ he resumed, ‘civil unrest, in any form, will not be tolerated while such great suffering and disruption fills our lives. The penalties for such acts will not only be swift, but severe. I cannot emphasise how important it is that you heed this warning.’ Kingsford smiled thinly. ‘We will keep you notified as to the progress of the virus and the status of the curfew. Updates will be posted regularly on local radio stations, the BBC website and on terrestrial television channels. But, until a vaccine is found, I cannot tell you how long these measures will be in place.’

He paused again, peered at his notes before looking directly into the camera. ‘In this great country of ours we have overcome many things. Together, we shall persevere. Together, we will defeat this silent and destructive beast.’

Tears welled in his eyes. ‘Go now to your loved ones. Be safe, responsible and ever mindful. And may God bless you all. Thank you.’

So, if you’re worrying about Brexit, fear not. It could be worse. Considerably worse.

And if you’re wondering, I have no idea what would really happen. But I’m sure the Government would have a plan…?

You’ll find the spread of the pathogen in Spider Web Powder, book two of Eden Chronicles