Last week we were finally able to put the final touches on the baby’s nursery after what seemed like months of living with piles of crap up to our ears. Because before we could even address the nursery we had to tackle sixteen other projects first, and in the meantime everything we were collecting for the baby started to stack up in wobbly mountains throughout the living room. Every time we had company over I had to give a rambling explanation of why the path from the front door to the kitchen was booby-trapped, why there was a stack of burp cloths plopped on top of a wad of crib sheets teetering precariously on top of a bulk package of disposable breast pads. FOR MY CRACKED AND LEAKING NIPPLES. AREN’T YOU GLAD YOU CAME OVER TO MY HOUSE?

One of the biggest things to check off our list was new carpet in the basement, something we’ve been planning to do since we moved into the house. The previous owners had a cat who lived primarily in the basement, and since we never had the carpets professionally cleaned before moving in, Jon’s allergies have made living his life nearly impossible. In fact, I may have brought up Jon’s allergies to our marriage counselor more than once, and she may have told me that OH MY GOD SHUT UP isn’t perhaps the most helpful reaction a wife can give to a husband who is complaining that his eyes have swollen shut.

So I took her advice, and the next time it happened I tossed a glass of water in his face and said SNAP OUT OF IT, FRANCIS. Much more instructive.

In the days leading up to the carpet installation I made a bet with Jon that it wouldn’t take more than 15 minutes for him to declare that his allergies had been cured. He has a habit of doing this, stumbling over cures for various ailments and announcing, “I’m healed!” before he’s even popped the pill or rubbed in the ointment. He will look at a bottle of vitamins and pronounce that he already feels better, and when I point out that I cannot take him seriously he will start listing off all the reviews he read about these vitamins, all the comparison shopping and painstaking research he did and A FIVE-STAR AMAZON RATING CANNOT BE WRONG, HEATHER.

And I am not even kidding, there wasn’t more than five square feet of new carpet on the floor when Jon handed me a twenty dollar bill and said YOU WIN. This is just another example of how well we know each other, how deeply we accept and understand each other’s various neuroses, and I’ll just go ahead and admit that I have the better deal here because I am not married to someone who is Southern.

Once the carpet was in we were able to assemble all the other moving parts, starting with an antique brass bed that my mother found at a flea market well over ten years ago:

Why do we have a bed in the nursery? One, this room will serve double-duty as a guest room for the next year or so. And two, Armstrongs are not known for their peaceful sleeping habits. If this baby proves to be anything like Leta, Jon and I will most likely take turns with night duty in this room while the other one gets some sleep in our room. So let’s just say that this bed will prove as vital as my Prozac to keeping the family intact.

Next we moved in the crib:

And then the dresser where all the baby clothes that Leta used to wear are now stored:

Jon schlepped down boxes and boxes of those clothes from the attic last weekend, and I spent three days washing and folding tiny onesies and nightgowns in between curling up in a ball and crying about how small Leta used to be. Where did that baby go? That irritable, chubby baby who screamed a lot every day with the screaming? I remember the moment she first discovered that she could fit both of her feet into her mouth, the delight on her face revealing that she had finally found a reason to go on living.

And then fast forward to last night as I’m giving her a bath and she goes, “These bubbles won’t melt, right? Because only ice and chocolate melt. I love science!”

Just to preempt any questions in the comments, here is where I got everything:

Related:

At $690.00, I hope that crib is made of angel farts and comes with a good-sleep guarantee. Good grief! I’ll just wait for the therapy bills when my 3 decide that a safe but inexpensive crib ruined both their senses of self worth, and their appreciation of all things aesthetic.

tyler

hi heather! first off, love your blog. it has given me hundreds of laughs and many of the “oh…thank god someone said it!” moments!

anyways, just a quick question. now, i am technologically challenged, but is there any way that you could make your pictures within your entries be the same format as your daily ones? my work (in government…shh) doesn’t allow me to view photo sharing sites….and the pictures do not show up on your page. if at all possible, what with all of your other projects going on, namely a new baby, could you maybe try to? thank you…for that and all the entertainment i receive from here!

from oklahoma!

Lisa

Ahhh…..done….finally. Pack your bag for the hospital. Go have sex with Jon one last time for a while and break your water!!!!!!! Let’s have that baby!!!

http://sweetpot8o.blogspot.com kate

Well done! Peaceful, stylish and practical. I adore the wallpaper and the antique bed together. You have a great eye for design.

Wishing your little family the best!

April

We had a bed in our nursery too! It was our marriage saver! Our son was very congested and snorted all night long. It drove us nuts. We would take turns caring for him in his room while the other tried to get some sleep. Those were the days. LOL! Love the room!

http://dancinginthemoonlight-dee.blogspot.com/ Dee

It’s precious! Love the wallpaper.

JoAnne

Okay, duh, I found the bedding. Dwell Studio (should have guessed) “Birds.” I couldn’t find it when searching for bedding for girls, but did see it in the Animals section. Lovely. I love how the pink is balanced by a more sane color scheme throughout the room, as opposed to everything being matching hot pink.

Also: regarding the haters and “lover-protectors:” I don’t agree with Heather on every opinion she holds, every life choice she has made, etc. Far from it…but I appreciate her talents and strengths (especially graphic design, photography, and home design) enough to read her blog and comment on things like this nursery, which I will file in the back of my brain for when/if we have a girl. I really don’t get why people have to leave horribly phrased (usually also horribly spelled) disparaging comments… and especially why they are so chicken as to never leave their names. I disagree with the anti-bumper crusaders, but at least they are usually brave enough to own up to their comments.

That being said, I don’t think Heather needs her “defenders” to rise up on her behalf with equally poorly-phrased (and usually also equally crude) responses to the trolls/haters. Everybody knows a troll when they see one. The worst thing to do, in my humble opinion, is to give them your time and energy in responding.

Anywho. Like I said, I love the nursery, though I doubt my husband would dig on me sleeping anywhere other than by his side, even if baby number two is as horrible a sleeper as baby number one, who at sixteen months still wakes up several times each night.

Trish

My empty uterus just reached out and slapped me. Holy shit, am I wishing I was in your shoes.

The nursery is perfectly adorable. Go put your feet up.

Jennifer

Dooce – love the nursery. Do you have a chair/rocker close by? Just wondering where you will nurse/feed Not Maria in the night.

Kailee

Well, that is just gorgeous. You and Jon are fucking brilliant with design. Superb work, love.

From someone who can’t be bothered to pick up the house, much less vacuum more often than once a month, I say nice job on this project.

I’m very jealous, but I also know my (and my spouse’s) limitations.

http://WorldAccordingToKate.com Kate

Too cute! It turned out really great – not that I should be surprised, because everything you show us ALWAYS looks great

Susan

Dooce, have you had a baby shower?

Jess

Good thing it’s not Maria, I was thinking this morning about how horrible that name is just because of that song from West Side Story. EEK! Oh and nice job on the room, I can’t wait to have an extra bed where I can sleep without anyone else.

http://csquaredplus3.typepad.com Chris

It looks fantastic! I like everything, especially the pillows on the bed. Perfect punctuation.

http://www.laurenslaughinglife.blogspot.com NoBaby-Yet

160 Anon:
Your comment just rocked my world. You took my thoughts and typed them out…

And SERIOUSLY sallyjo154… um, yes. A lot of people who read this blog ARE SAHM looking for tips and someone going through the same sh*t they are. Obviously you’re not, so why are you reading (and commenting) again?

Anonymous

298 – Dangit, my son’s one of the few Avery BOYS we know.

http://www.becomingsarah.com Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

Congratulations on finishing up Not Maria’s nursery! That must feel like the cherry on top of the nesting instinct sundae.

I can’t wait to get to that point =)

Also, good going on finding the magic cure for Jon’s allergies. STRANGE HOW THOSE THINGS WORK. And by “things,” I mean “men,” because the one I married does THE SAME THING. Right down to the Amazon.com reviews.

Stylin Neecey

The nursery is just ok. I think it has hints of college-ish decorating, which to me looks cheap and weird. The crib is ugly AND f’ing expensive!!! I do think the bed in the nursery is a great idea, however. Wish I would have had enuf room in my son’s nursery for a twin bed.

Still not liking your bathroom either…

http://www.suburbanmatron.com Becky

Amen, a regular bed in a baby’s room is a must! And everything looks totally presh. I love the combination of the antique bed with the wallpaper especially.

And do you think the wallpaper would work in an adult space, or is it to child-oriented? I am considering it on one wall of our master bedroom.

Susan

Really #448..couldn’t you have kept that shitty opinion to yourself? God really doesn’t like ugly…

Brook

so pretty!

Karrie

The brass bed is gorgeous! And I’m loving the new header as well

Anonymous

Wishing I had my bedroom butted up into a hill as I monitor this tornado watch we have going on down here in Texas! Bet it is nice and cool in the summertime, too! What I would have given to have a bed in my babies’ nurseries. You are one smart mama!

Lea

Just looking at pictures of the room got me so excited for this baby!

http://pdxstocktons.wordpress.com Cassidy

It’s beautiful. You have such amazing taste in decorating! I love all the birds. Just picked up your book and am enjoying it immensely– sorry to have missed you at Powell’s.

Ok so didn’t you find that the last time you had a baby half of the stuff – clothes, burp cloths, etc you never used??? I did not use half of the clothes for my son…..he grew so fast as well that he just grew out of it in about a month too – he is still growing – 8 months old this week…If I had known then that I would not have needed nor used half of the stuff we had, we too would not have lived with stuff everywhere…..eventually we moved and then I got smart….and gave the stuff away. I swear I am in Childrens Place about once every 6 weeks. He is a growing machine!!!!

http://emilymainphotography.com Emily

Once you shared the wallpaper picture a while back, I was DYING to see what you did with the rest of the room. Love it.

Melissa

I *heart* Loobylu! I have yet to win a marshmallow bunny! What a lucky little girl this will be!

http://www.inbetweendesigns.blogspot.com Milan

LOL your new header made me laugh! It’s great. Good work on the new nursery; the wallpaper is my favorite. Oh, and your bedding is to DIE for. I wish I could afford the drape stripe in blue myself.

Sarah

wow ..gorgeoooooooooooooooous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Katie

First, I love the comment about chocolate and ice melting. You have one smart cookie on your hands! And the nursery looks absolutely beautiful–child friendly, sweet but not cloyingly so and oh so very stylish. I especially love the mobile–so much so that I’m tempted to put one in my own apartment, which is void of small children. Is that weird?

http://faeriedustdreams-michelle.blogspot.com/ Michelle

Sigh…just beautiful.

http://ittakeswhatittakes.blogspot.com Jessica

Last night I was talking to my 3 year old daughter, and I for some reason had a thought run through my head…..can you name the baby Sparrow? Catey approves….ahh the power of approval from a three year old!!

I think it’s unique….the genesis of the thought surely comes form your decor…..but I certainly think it’s a rockin’ little name for a girl.

Had to throw it our there.

Seriously love your blog, it saves me from the monotony of my day at the office.

dooce

I removed comment #196 because she fits my definition a stalker. And when she comes back and leaves the same comment that she has left seven hundred times I’m going to delete her again.

I put a bed in the nursery and a diaper-changing setup in the bathroom (one up and one down) and almost every mother who came to the house did the “omg how obvious why did I not think of that” forehead-slap.

I got home from school (I’m a culinary school student) so exhausted that I nearly nodded off looking at that sweet bed.

If the power of suggestion works on me, just imagine what it will do for your little ones!

(What do you mean that stuff doesn’t work on kids? Bummer!)

Cheers!

Austin Anonymous

It looks so much better than the bathroom!

http://www.cassylee.wordpress.com Cassy

Hi Heather,
I’ve never commented on here, but feel compelled because I’ve been lurking so long. I’m right behind you in my first pregnancy, just over 36 weeks now, so it’s been fun to check in and see what you’re going through. And just finished your book (which I both loved and was totally freaked out by…what have I done?! and I can’t wait! all at once). I love your nursery, especially the wallpaper.
I just finished my son’s nursery with a Where the Wild Things Are theme (you can check it out here, http://cassylee.wordpress.com/2009/05/14/where-the-wild-things-are-nursery-completed/), and it makes me feel like I’m totally ready for him to come. Though I wish it was big enough to fit a bed in now. Brilliant!!
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. Can’t wait to follow how it all goes down.

Bex

That nursery is GORGEOUS! Great style! and the floor matches every other part of the floor. Can’t wait to see photos of it in full use. Good luck for your birth! I’m so rooting for you guys.

http://daddyscratches.com Daddy Scratches

Congrats on the nursery, and on curing Jon’s allergies. My wife suffers from brutal seasonal allergies every spring, and I’m so with you about the urge to yell OH MY GOD SHUT UP when the sneezing begins.

http://www.piteo.net/blog Jill

Beautiful, simply beautiful. What a wonderful room for Not Maria to be welcomed into!

Dee

Wonderful nursery. Can’t believe it is in the basement.

http://keeping-pace.com Juls

Beautifully done. I *almost* wish I was having another baby so that I could do something similar.

Also, smart to include a bed right from the start.

Rachel

#448, and #449, calm down! Geesh!

#448, if you disagree with somebody else’s style, that’s fine. Just be nicer about it. Would you tell that to your best friend or sister? “Yeah sis, your style choice is f*ing ugly!” Probably not. I think that the anonymity of the internet is killing us slowly. At least, our sense of personal manners and ethics.

#449, you’re not helping matters.

kate

Perfect.

I was waiting to see what you’d do about a rocker/glider thingie. I’m decorating a nursery now and stumped on that part!

Ann

I wish my son’s room would have allowed for a bed when he was an infant because I spent A LOT of time in that room. Great idea!

Suzie

Love the nursery! So tranquil! I wish you a speedy and safe delivery of Not-Maria.

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