Posted tagged ‘Scrooge McDuck’

The other day I went to a drive-up window to buy a lousy $4 ice cream, since in the year of the plague, walk-in much less full restaurant service are but memories. Reaching the front of the line, I discovered to my chagrin that the establishment wasn’t accepting cash, but only credit or debit cards. Cash, it would seem, is now considered a “contact point” for the Coronavirus, which can live merrily on a variety of surfaces for hours.

As I fumbled awkwardly for my debit card out of my wallet, the thought surfaced in my mind that these must be terrible times to be Scrooge McDuck. I mean, that bird would literally go swimming through his cash vaults! He had, by a Forbes estimate, a net cash worth of over 44 billion dollars. Swimming and burrowing through his money brought this duck pleasure! He was, by the standards of many, one lucky duck…

Now in these plague years, could Scrooge be considered to have a fatal attraction to money, considering his physicality with it? With money being considered filthy lucre, does Scrooge McDuck have a death wish, or is he just severely conflicted now about his practices? Is an intervention needed to save this duck from himself?! These thoughts eat away at me, terribly. We may never know the answer to these timely questions, but press on nonetheless. It is our calling, our mission here… 🐺