Monday, April 9, 2012

I was watching "To Catch A Predator" a couple of nights ago and noticed a pattern forming with the perverts. They all had a tendency to take a picture of their junk to show to their prospective "dates". I also noticed that the pictures were taken at different angles. This got me thinking. Which angles are best for guys to take pictures of their manhood and are there rules to follow when taking these pictures?

First off, I spent close to 2 hours looking at "junk" pictures on a local library computer for research. My findings may startle some (or amuse and excite librarians which I found out later). Here are basic 3 variations on the dick pic.

The "Fisherman" is when the guy takes the picture of his manhood with the camera lens shooting upward from his testicles. The picture gives the impression that his penis is bigger and he is holding a fishing rod. This form of picture taking is good for men with girth and not good for pencil shaped guys. The level of difficulty taking this picture is high though. You do not want to get the balls in the picture for they will pop out on the screen like two furry bowling balls. Not a good look.

The "Helicopter" is the angle from above. Similar to the view a helicopter gets when flying over a long land mass. This style is good for length but poor for width. Manscaping is important for this shot because you do not want to look like you are entering a forest when you take the helicopter pic. Hardness is a must because and flacidity will cause the member to look more like a decline then the "Straits Of Magellan".

The "Ruler" is a tricky picture. You take the picture from the side to get the most honest angle for size comparison. You MUST be confident of your manhood on this one. Also make sure you center the picture properly and the head of your penis does not look like a cherry tomato. Nothing is scarier to a woman then a long shaft and a head that looks like a clown nose

Guys, I must also impress upon you to stay away from the "Flick Pic". The flick pic is when you take a picture of your penis flaccid. I did some research and asked 10 women their thoughts on this type of picture. All of them agree that a flaccid picture is about as sexy as a dinner at Denny's. Yeah they may offer a Grand Slam, but you end up always wanting more afterwords.

Remember, NEVER send a picture unless asked or implied. NEVER ask her afterwords if she liked it. Doing that will make her look at the picture with more scrutiny. The best penis artists let the work speak for itself. NEVER try pictures with themes. DO NOT put your penis in a taco shell on Cinco De Mayo. DO NOT paint it green on St. Patrick's Day. DO NOT I repeat DO NOT put Dracula teeth on it for Halloween and send it as a Hallmark card with the words "Happy Halloweeinie" beneath it (learned this last year).

I hope these suggestions help you guys out there. With these pointers I suspect your pointer will get the attention you crave! Have a great day folks!

The 30PREMIUM PLAY offer is now available. We will give you 30 PLAYS FOR FREE. No agreement to buy anything! Email us today! SPORTSILLUMINATI@HOTMAIL.COM

LINKS OF THE WEEK:

www.realsportslounge.com is a sports forum site that I have checked out recently. Good group of people over there with interesting insight on all topics sports and pop culture related. Also they have an interesting way of letting you show appreciation or disgust with a post or thread. This site is a good time killer.

www.thehockeyprogram.netis a site for all things hockey. The guy that runs this site is not only extremely passionate about hockey, but spends a crazy amount of time talking about it online. I have been following him this NHL season and if you have seen our NHL record, you can understand why this site has a lot to offer.

www.danielle-dowling.com is a blog about women and dating culture. You may ask why a sports themed blog would recommend this. Fact is most guys need a little insight into women. This blog which is updated regularly gives us guys a look into the female psyche which is akin to having inside information on a sporting event. Read this weekly, and you will find yourself having a better understanding on what a girl wants and what makes her happy.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

I was watching "To Catch A Predator" a couple of nights ago and noticed a pattern forming with the perverts. They all had a tendency to take a picture of their junk to show to their prospective "dates". I also noticed that the pictures were taken at different angles. This got me thinking. Which angles are besr for guys to take pictures of their manhood and are there rules to follow when taking these pictures?

First off, I spent close to 2 hours looking at "junk" pictures on a local library computer for research. My findings may startle some (or amuse and excite librarians which I found out later). Here are basic 3 variations on the dick pic.

The "Fisherman" is when the guy takes the picture of his manhood with the camera lens shooting upward from his testicles. The picture gives the impression that his penis is bigger and he is holding a fishing rod. This form of picture taking is good for men with girth and not good for pencil shaped guys. The level of difficulty taking this picture is high though. You do not want to get the balls in the picture for they will pop out on the screen like two furry bowling balls. Not a good look.

The "Helicopter" is the angle from above. Similar to the view a helicopter gets when flying over a long land mass. This style is good for length but poor for width. Manscaping is improtant for this shot because you do not want to look like you are entering a forest when you take the helicopter pic. Hardness is a must because and flacidity will cause the member to look more like a decline then the "Straits Of Magellan".

The "Ruler" is a tricky picture. You take the picture from the side to get the most honest angle for size comparison. You MUST be confident of your manhood on this one. Also make sure you center the picture properly and the head of your penis does not look like a cherry tomato. Nothing is scarier to a woman then a long shaft and a head thzt looks like a clown nose

Guys, I must also impress upon you to stay away from the "Flick Pic". The flick pic is when you take a picture of your penis flaccid. I did some research and asked 10 women their thoughts on this type of picture. All of them agree that a flaccid picture is about as sexy as a dinner at Denny's. Yeah they may offer a Grand Slam, but you end up alwsys wanting more afterwards.

Remember, NEVER send a picture unless asked or implied. NEVER ask her afterwards if she liked it. Doing that will make her look at the picture with more scrutiny. The best penis artists let the work speak for itself. NEVER try pictures with themes. DO NOT put your penis in a taco shell on Cinco De Mayo. DO NOT paint it green on St. Patricks Day. DO NOT I repeat DO NOT put dracula teeth on it for Halloween and send it as a Hallmark card with the words "Happy Halloweeinie" beneath it (learned this last year).

I hope these suggestions help you guys out there. With these pointers I suspect your pointer will get the attention you crave! Have a great day folks!

The 30PREMIUM PLAY offer is now available. We will give you 30 PLAYS FOR FREE. No agreement to buy anything! Email us today! SPORTSILLUMINATI@HOTMAIL.COM

LINKS OF THE WEEK:

www.realsportslounge.com is a sports forum site that I have checked out recently. Good group of people over there with interesting insight on all topics sports and pop culture related. Also they have an interesting way of letting you show appreciation or disgust with a post or thread. This site is a good time killer.

www.thehockeyprogram.netis a site for all things hockey. The guy that runs this site is not only extremely passionate about hockey, but spends a crazy amount of time talking about it online. I have been following him this NHL season and if you have seen our NHL record, you can understand why this site has a lot to offer.

www.danielle-dowling.com is a blog about women and dating culture. You may ask why a sports themed blog would recommend this. Fact is most guys need a little insight into women. This blog which is updated regularly gives us guys a look into the female psyche which is akin to having inside information on a sporting event. Read this weekly, and you will find yourself having a better understanding on what a girl wants and what makes her happy.

Friday, April 6, 2012

I was watching "To Catch A Predator" a couple of nights ago and noticed a pattern forming with the perverts. They all had a tendency to take a picture of their junk to show to their prospective "dates". I also noticed that the pictures were taken at different angles. This got me thinking. Which angles are besr for guys to take pictures of their manhood and are there rules to follow when takiing these pictures?

First off, I spent close to 2 hours looking at "junk" pictures on a local library computer for research. My findings may startle some (or amuse and excite librarians which I found out later). Here are basic 3 variations on the dick pic.

The "Fisherman" is when the guy takes the picture of his manhood with the camera lens shooting upward from his testicles. The picture gives the impression that his penis is bigger and he is holding a fishing rod. This form of picture taking is good for men with girth and not good for pencil shaped guys. The level of difficulty taking this picture is high though. You do not want to get the balls in the picture for they will pop out on the screen like two furry bowling balls. Not a good look.

The "Helicopter" is the angle from above. Similar to the view a helicopter gets when flying over a long land mass. This style is good for length but poor for width. Manscaping is improtant for this shot because you do not want to look like you are entering a forest when you take the helicopter pic. Hardness is a must because and flacidity will cause the member to look more like a decline then the "Straits Of Magellan".

The "Ruler" is a tricky picture. You take the picture from the side to get the most honest angle for size comparison. You MUST be confident of your manhood on this one. Also make sure you center the picture properly and the head of your penis does not look like a cherry tomato. Nothing is scarier to a woman then a long shaft and a head thzt looks like a clown nose.

Guys, I must also impress upon you to stay away from the "Flick Pic". The flick pic is when you take a picture of your penis flaccid. I did some research and asked 10 women their thoughts on this type of picture. All of them agree that a flaccid picture is about as sexy as a dinner at Denny's. Yeah they may offer a Grand Slam, but you end up alwsys wanting more afterwards.

Remember, NEVER send a picture unless asked or implied. NEVER ask her afterwards if she liked it. Doing that will make her look at the picture with more scrutiny. The best penis artists let the work speak for itself. NEVER try pictures with themes. DO NOT put your penis in a tack shell on Cinco De Mayo. DO NOT paint it green on St. Patricks Day. DO NOT I repeat DO NOT put dracula teeth on it for Halloween and send it put as a Hallmark card with the words "Happy Halloweeinie" beneath it (learned this last year).

I hope these suggestions help you guys out there. With these pointers I suspect your pointer will get the attention you crave! Have a great day folks!

The 45PREMIUM PLAY promotion is still going strong. We will give you 45 PLAYS FOR FREE. If the plays do not net a profit, we will give you a whole month for FREE. If the plays do hit a profit, you agree to sign up with us for a month at our regular price of $100. Email SPORTSILLUMINATI@HOTMAIL.COM if you are interested.

LINKS OF THE WEEK:

www.realsportslounge.com/ is a sports forum site that I have checked out recently. Good group of people over there with interesting insight on all topics sports and pop culture related. Also they have an interesting way of letting you show appreciation or disgust with a post or thread. This site is a good time killer.www.thehockeyprogram.net is a site for all things hockey. The guy that runs this site is not only extremely passionate about hockey, but spends a crazy amount of time talking about it online. I have been following him this NHL season and if you have seen our NHL record, you can understand why this site has a lot to offer.

www.danielle-dowling.comis a blog about women and dating culture. You may ask why a sports themed blog would recommend this. Fact is most guys need a little insight into women. This blog which is updated regularly gives us guys a look into the female psyche which is akin to having inside information on a sporting event. Read this weekly, and you will find yourself having a better understanding on what a girl wants and what makes her happy.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

I will have a NEW story up tomorrow! We have been focusing on getting a good start in April with our sports plays! 4-2 to start the month including a sweep on yesterday's NCAA Championship game. MLB starts this week and we intend to KICK ASS!

(I have to give a shout out to my friend Eryn who found a word in my blog that should have been omitted. Instead of saying what word it was or when it was used, I would rather just let you guys try to figure it out. Until then, thank you again Eryn for being the pillar of scrutiny in the time of my reckless wordsmith abandon.)

Happy April to all my readers. This last week has been a crazy one. After a night of car sleeping The Illuminati has settled into a camper in the back of a bar/restaurant. Yes, you read that correctly. I am within 5 feet of a bar and my bed is 5 feet away from my toilet. After three days in the aptly named "Love Jack" I have noticed a couple of things.

Taking a shower in a 6 foot tall shower when you are 6ft 4 is easy if you are a circus clown or made out of plastic. I never thought their would be a day I would be soaping up my rear while washing off my elbows at the same time. It happened Thursday.

Cooking in a camper is limited as well. I don't see me making a Thanksgiving turkey anytime soon, but I will cook all my guests a mean plate of pork and beans. Oh, I am also going non Earth friendly. Styrofoam plates for everyone! Washing dishes in a camper is also frowned upon considering my sink doesn't hold more then a pint glass of water.

The good news for all my guests. The fridge will be stocked with beer. The bad news is my fridge only holds 4 beers. Better bring your own or make sure you are drunk enough to tolerate me before you arrive (that last statement goes for my female followers).

My mattress came with Star Wars sheets. Not the new Star Wars series, but the old school Star Wars collection. They have been in moth balls so long, the smell has replaced Old Spice as my new scent. I am getting a ton of phone numbers the last week, but they all seem to be from eighty year old women and antique collectors.

All this being said, I am looking forward to a lot of good times in the Love Jack this summer. With my sparkling personality and good looks (after a fifth of Jagermeister) this blog will be humming with many stories to tell!

The 45PREMIUM PLAY promotion is still going strong. We will give you 45 PLAYS FOR FREE. If the plays do not net a profit, we will give you a whole month for FREE. If the plays do hit a profit, you agree to sign up with us for a month at our regular price of $100. Email SPORTSILLUMINATI@HOTMAIL.COM if you are interested.

LINKS OF THE WEEK:

www.realsportslounge.com/ is a sports forum site that I have checked out recently. Good group of people over there with interesting insight on all topics sports and pop culture related. Also they have an interesting way of letting you show appreciation or disgust with a post or thread. This site is a good time killer.www.thehockeyprogram.net is a site for all things hockey. The guy that runs this site is not only extremely passionate about hockey, but spends a crazy amount of time talking about it online. I have been following him this NHL season and if you have seen our NHL record, you can understand why this site has a lot to offer.

www.danielle-dowling.comis a blog about women and dating culture. You may ask why a sports themed blog would recommend this. Fact is most guys need a little insight into women. This blog which is updated regularly gives us guys a look into the female psyche which is akin to having inside information on a sporting event. Read this weekly, and you will find yourself having a better understanding on what a girl wants and what makes her happy.

Monday, April 2, 2012

(I have to give a shout out to my friend Eryn who found a word in my blog that should have been omitted. Instead of saying what word it was or when it was used, I would rather just let you guys try to figure it out. Until then, thank you again Eryn for being the pillar of scrutiny in the time of my reckless wordsmith abandon.)

Happy April to all my readers. This last week has been a crazy one. After a night of car sleeping The Illuminati has settled into a camper in the back of a bar/restaurant. Yes, you read that correctly. I am within 5 feet of a bar and my bed is 5 feet away from my toilet. After three days in the aptly named "Love Jack" I have noticed a couple of things.

Taking a shower in a 6 foot tall shower when you are 6ft 4 is easy if you are a circus clown or made out of plastic. I never thought their would be a day I would be soaping up my rear while washing off my elbows at the same time. It happened Thursday.

Cooking in a camper is limited as well. I don't see me making a Thanksgiving turkey anytime soon, but I will cook all my guests a mean plate of pork and beans. Oh, I am also going non Earth friendly. Styrofoam plates for everyone! Washing dishes in a camper is also frowned upon considering my sink doesn't hold more then a pint glass of water.

The good news for all my guests. The fridge will be stocked with beer. The bad news is my fridge only holds 4 beers. Better bring your own or make sure you are drunk enough to tolerate me before you arrive (that last statement goes for my female followers).

My mattress came with Star Wars sheets. Not the new Star Wars series, but the old school Star Wars collection. They have been in moth balls so long, the smell has replaced Old Spice as my new scent. I am getting a ton of phone numbers the last week, but they all seem to be from eighty year old women and antique collectors.

All this being said, I am looking forward to a lot of good times in the Love Jack this summer. With my sparkling personality and good looks (after a fifth of Jagermeister) this blog will be humming with many stories to tell!

March was a month we would like to forget as we went a combined 72-89-5. The good news is MLB starts this month and we consider ourselves VERY strong in baseball. Let's see where the season takes us!

NHL RECORD YTD:180-150-17 +$1691.00 ($100 A BET)

The 45PREMIUM PLAY promotion is back with a twist. We will give you 45 PLAYS FOR FREE. If the plays do not net a profit, we will give you a whole month for free. If the plays do hit a profit, you agree to sign up with us for a month at our regular price. Email SPORTSILLUMINATI@HOTMAIL.COM if you are interested.

LINKS OF THE WEEK:

www.realsportslounge.com/ is a sports forum site that I have checked out recently. Good group of people over there with interesting insight on all topics sports and pop culture related. Also they have an interesting way of letting you show appreciation or disgust with a post or thread. This site is a good time killer.www.thehockeyprogram.net is a site for all things hockey. The guy that runs this site is not only extremely passionate about hockey, but spends a crazy amount of time talking about it online. I have been following him this NHL season and if you have seen our NHL record, you can understand why this site has a lot to offer.

www.danielle-dowling.comis a blog about women and dating culture. You may ask why a sports themed blog would recommend this. Fact is most guys need a little insight into women. This blog which is updated regularly gives us guys a look into the female psyche which is akin to having inside information on a sporting event. Read this weekly, and you will find yourself having a better understanding on what a girl wants and what makes her happy.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Happy April Fools Day to all my readers. This last week has been a crazy one. After a night of car sleeping The Illuminati has settled into a camper in the back of a bar/restaurant. Yes, you read that correctly. I am within 5 feet of a bar and my bed is 5 feet away from my toilet. After three days in the aptly named "Love Jack" I have noticed a couple of things.

Taking a shower in a 6 foot tall shower when you are 6ft 4 is easy if you are a circus clown or made out of plastic. I never thought their would be a day I would be soaping up my rear while washing off my elbows at the same time. It happened Thursday.

Cooking in a camper is limited as well. I don't see me making a Thanksgiving turkey anytime soon, but I will cook all my guests a mean plate of pork and beans. Oh, I am also going non Earth friendly. Styrofoam plates for everyone! Washing dishes in a camper is also frowned upon considering my sink doesn't hold more then a pint glass of water.

The good news for all my guests. The fridge will be stocked with beer. The bad news is my fridge only holds 4 beers. Better bring your own or make sure you are drunk enough to tolerate me before you arrive (that last statement goes for my female followers).

My mattress came with Star Wars sheets. Not the new Star Wars series, but the old school Star Wars collection. They have been in moth balls so long, the smell has replaced Old Spice as my new scent. I am getting a ton of phone numbers the last week, but they all seem to be from eighty year old women and antique collectors.

All this being said, I am looking forward to a lot of good times in the Love Jack this summer. With my sparkling personality and good looks (after a fifth of Jagermeister) this blog will be humming with many stories to tell!

March was a month we would like to forget as we went a combined 72-89-5. The good news is MLB starts this month and we consider ourselves VERY strong in baseball. Let's see where the season takes us!

NHL RECORD YTD:180-149-17 +$1791.00($100 A BET)

The 45PREMIUM PLAY promotion is back with a twist. We will give you 45 PLAYS FOR FREE. If the plays do not net a profit, we will give you a whole month for free. If the plays do hit a profit, you agree to sign up with us for a month at our regular price. Email SPORTSILLUMINATI@HOTMAIL.COM if you are interested.

LINKS OF THE WEEK:

www.realsportslounge.com/ is a sports forum site that I have checked out recently. Good group of people over there with interesting insight on all topics sports and pop culture related. Also they have an interesting way of letting you show appreciation or disgust with a post or thread. This site is a good time killer.www.thehockeyprogram.net is a site for all things hockey. The guy that runs this site is not only extremely passionate about hockey, but spends a crazy amount of time talking about it online. I have been following him this NHL season and if you have seen our NHL record, you can understand why this site has a lot to offer.

www.danielle-dowling.comis a blog about women and dating culture. You may ask why a sports themed blog would recommend this. Fact is most guys need a little insight into women. This blog which is updated regularly gives us guys a look into the female psyche which is akin to having inside information on a sporting event. Read this weekly, and you will find yourself having a better understanding on what a girl wants and what makes her happy.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Took a couple of days off for some personal matters. Will be back with a new story tomorrow! Lots to tell to my readers!

A little crazy the last couple of days. I just moved out of my house after a spat with my roommate/ex girlfriend. As complicated as that sounds, what is more crazy is the night I spent sleeping in my car. I figured a night in the car would make for a good blog story. I hope the pain and suffering I endured makes it so.

Quick rundown. I was out until 1 AM so I figured I only was going to have to sleep in the car for 6 hours. I had to be at my old house to pack my things at 7 AM so sleep was not that big of a need. I grabbed two slices of pizza and a Gatorade to enjoy during my "auto slumber party". I am 6ft 4 and was under the impression that a fully reclines car seat would be comfortable. I was DEAD wrong. I had my comforter that I picked up at Walmart (after I was eye molested by a 400 pound women in a Snuggie and flip flops) and a pillow. After the late night dinner I put on ESPN and tried to sleep. A couple of things stopped this from happening.

Late night radio is usually calming. Not this night. If I had to hear any more about Tim Tebow and how great Kentucky basketball was, I was going to spork my ear canals. Didn't anybody get the memo that Tebow has an arm like a paralyzed infant and Kentucky basketball should be renamed "NBA Minor League Team"? It's just that simple. How many callers need to rehash what the world already knows about both subjects.

I tried listening to other things like classical music, but after 4 minutes of that, I felt the pizza coming back up through my throat. I mean, I guess the reason why old people love classical music is because they forget what they just heard 3 minutes earlier. It gets repetitive AWFULLY quickly. After fumbling with the radio, I settled in with soul music from the 70's. If that couldn't get me in the sleeping mood, nothing would.

After dozing off a bit, I forgot that I move when I sleep. Every hour I would wake up from a great dream of me with some hot brunette girl finding my gear shift rammed ever so uncomfortably in my backside. If their was every a reason for Ford to put a set of boobies and silicone on the end of a gear stick, this was it. Add the fact the steering wheel was ever so close to my groin, and suffice to say I felt like Andy Dufrane in "The Shawshank Redemption".

Eventually, the sun came up and I awoke bleary eyed. When I went into the house to grab my stuff, my ex asked me where I spent the night. When I responded "Mama, this soul brotha was laying low on the smooth tip of town". I knew that the night couldn't have been all THAT bad. Gotta love the power of continuous 70's soul music on the brain!

The 45PREMIUM PLAY promotion is back with a twist. We will give you 45 PLAYS FOR FREE. If the plays do not net a profit, we will give you a whole month for free. If the plays do hit a profit, you agree to sign up with us for a month at our regular price. Email SPORTSILLUMINATI@HOTMAIL.COM if you are interested.

LINKS OF THE WEEK:

www.realsportslounge.com/ is a sports forum site that I have checked out recently. Good group of people over there with interesting insight on all topics sports and pop culture related. Also they have an interesting way of letting you show appreciation or disgust with a post or thread. This site is a good time killer.www.thehockeyprogram.net is a site for all things hockey. The guy that runs this site is not only extremely passionate about hockey, but spends a crazy amount of time talking about it online. I have been following him this NHL season and if you have seen our NHL record, you can understand why this site has a lot to offer.

www.danielle-dowling.comis a blog about women and dating culture. You may ask why a sports themed blog would recommend this. Fact is most guys need a little insight into women. This blog which is updated regularly gives us guys a look into the female psyche which is akin to having inside information on a sporting event. Read this weekly, and you will find yourself having a better understanding on what a girl wants and what makes her happy.

FREE PLAY OF THE DAY:Atlanta/Philadelphia UNDER 177.5 -110Ohio State/Kansas UNDER 136.5 -110