Thursday, January 08, 2004

Yes, I'm continuing my tradition of not including last names, lest I get sued for all the terrible things I say about people... isn't that right, Dwight?

Yes, we have a new reader at My Side. That brings us up to 3.17 (if you count the severed head that I sleep with). (Otherwise, it's 2.59.)

Rich and I go way back. Way back.

No, not that far. Come up a little.

Now, over to the left just a bit.

There!

Richard and I were friends back in college (the first time, when I was majoring in calling the Board of Trustees jackasses) and in that little microcosm, we went through a lot. There was the "Jim Blighly (Mohammad Abdul Amin) Experience", a guy as fat as he was repugnant, his stench preceding him by several minutes. There was the "Phia Period", who I dated before Rosa - oh, and, by the way, Rich could have prevented both of those but did he? NO! What the fuck kind of friend is he, anyway??? Go to hell, you bastard! Go to helllllllllllllllll......

... (pant pant) um... sorry. Just a little residual Rosa anger there.

Many apologies.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. Rich. After college... that is, after we dropped out... Rich married Mary (some bachelor he turned out to be) and I married Rosa. Rich and Mary had a baby and gave her a name I could never spell. Her name is Meeeeeeeeeeeeeechelle but I think it's spelled "Michelle". Oh, who knows. I don't think Rich knows! Rosa and I were asked to be the god-parents but no priest ever got involved so I don't know if it ever became official. Still, she was the SCEWEUIHO (Sweetest Child Ever to Walk the Earth Unless I Have One), which probably makes the fact that Rosa had a baby with someone else even more painful! Thanks a whole lot, Rich! Damn!

... er, sorry. That was me again. Hit a nerve.

More apologies.

So.... Rich.

He ended up moving to Missouri with Mary and Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeechelle. They got a divorce. He went to Florida. When Rosa and I split up, Rich was engaged to a woman named "Wicked Witch of the West" or something. Okay, that's just me. See, the thing was that she said some pretty rotten things about me. She called me an "adulterer". Now, technically, I wasn't. I left Rosa after she had told me to find someone else (for months) and after I kissed Cindy. I knew I'd broken my vows by I didn't sleep with Cindy behind Rosa's back. Still, the "adulterer" epithet really stuck and was hard to get past and it was all because of Rich and his damned fiancé! Son of a bitch! Bastard! Aaaaarrrgggh!!!!!

...

... I did it again, didn't I? Little sensitive.

Bygones.

Rich got a divorce a while back and it's a good thing I decided to leave my number listed because he was able to find me in the book. (Turns out his ex threw away all my contact info. You know... cause I'm a bad man.)

Last night, we spent several hours on the phone, catching up. It was very cool.

The funny part of this story is that all the threads of my life seem to have come together. (Okay, the exception is Essex but we know that story, don't we?) The missing one is Rosa and that's becoming, more and more, a very distant possibility - the one that slipped from my fingers, I guess.