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Dating – visitors and friends, others

Dating in China, this blog series, is basically a personal memoir. My writing inspiration of late consists of sifting through my memories, see if there was anything I was supposed to learn, and share it all for your infotainment.

Today I would like to do something different. On today’s post I would like to write about other people’s drama. A certain episode comes to mind. No action for me at this juncture, yet I was in the middle of it and have all the gossipy details.

My good friend from the States had decided to visit me, back I was living in Guangzhou in the second half of 2011. Having recently traveled myself, I welcomed him with open arms. But it’s not like we were going to go to the Great Wall or anything, I was too traveled out. We just keep it down South, Guangdong Province. He was cool with that.

I picked him up at the Hong Kong airport, and we went to see some sights in HK together. It was glorious. Then we crossed the border to my town of Shenzhen. It was a hectic night; full of old friends and drinking. I had planned to just come upon a hotel room like I usually do backpacking in China, but everything was filled up for some reason. Partying with luggage isn’t ideal. We ended up crashing at a DJ friend’s place after his gig. It always works out.

So. Before my buddy came down, I had to get him excited to visit with the obligatory “you can totally get laid in China” bro sell. In keeping with this, I had introduced him to some girls online. He particularly got along with Hailey.

If you will remember, there was another episode with Hailey. She was my open-minded platonic female friend in Shenzhen who climbed into my bed one night and thoroughly confused me, and we never ever did do anything of that sort.

My friend and her seemed to get along well. It usually doesn’t succeed when I play the matchmaker, but when it does I find it so fun to scheme. Have you ever tried?

For the next week-and-a-half I had to spend almost all my free time tour guiding all over the place. Clubs in Shenzhen, clubs in Guangzhou. It was mostly clubs. However, for one day he went to Shenzhen by himself to spend a night at a hotel on his own. With her. Sexy fun times were had, I assume. Good for them.

It was a crazy time, a very fun trip for him. I do believe he was left with a positive impression of modern China indeed. At last, the the final day was approaching… We needed to plan around a morning flight out of Hong Kong, which meant spending previous night in Shenzhen. Guangzhou wouldn’t have worked, too far.

“Look,” I sad. “I want to see you off, man. But if it’s all the same…”

“Fine,” he agreed.

I called Hailey, since they were obviously going to spend the night together anyway, and simply asked if she could take him to the nearby Huang’gang border and direct him to one of those direct shuttles to the airport.

“No way!” she yelled. “I’m not his babysitter.”

To be fair, I kind of went back and forth with last-minute plans and kind of suddenly sprang this on her the day before. But I didn’t think it would be that big a deal.

She proceeded to tell me that they would do whatever, but it’s not like she was sure she would sleep overnight at his hotel room. She at least planned to leave by the morning, and leave him alone the following day. It came across as cold to me.

After she yelled at me, I decided to just come down to Shenzhen. We took a bus from Panyu. We all met up and he paired off with Hailey, while I caught up with another friend and had some drinks and slept on his couch as the exhausting night took its toll.

I had to wake up so early, and hungover. It was no fun. I met my bud for breakfast… and wouldn’t you know just who was with him? She stayed for the morning after all. What a pal.

The three of us hung out and ate egg mcmuffins, and then she went back to her place and I took him to the border. We hugged goodbye, it was good closure for an amazing trip, and I saw him again a year later in the states.

At the time, I started concluding that women are far colder than men. Obviously they were not a couple by any means, and she didn’t owe him anything. But when you spend the night together it’s a bit of something, and the very least one can do is help out a bit with directions. To refuse like that… well when women want to be cold, they can be so good at it.

Then again, perhaps I should try to see it from her point of view. She didn’t want to commit to anything. She wanted to prevent complications. What’s wrong with that? It’s one thing to have the option of breakfast, which was probably fine all along. It’s a whole other thing to make an airport-related promise. Hooking up does require schematics sometimes, but it should still have spontaneity as much as can be allowed.

What did I learn from this story? Anything at all about human nature, about these people? Not really. Didn’t learn much of anything. Just hope it’s a bit of an interesting tale.

It all worked out well enough. I was sleep-deprived, as was he (so I hope). Me with my bus ride home and him with his international flight. It’s good to be tired on those long-distance transits; to spend as much time in the air passed out as possible. I hope he had a good flight.