The Ex Outlet

Selling your ex's stuff can be a good move, especially if you're Paul McCartney, since nobody's paying you for the irony that your divorce is costing you an arm and a leg. Facilitating your own firesale: The Ex Outlet. From a heartbroken ex with skin in the fashion game, TEO's a web portal enabling anyone to vent about their failed relationships, then sell off any painful physical reminders, though you'll have to figure out on your own how to break the news to your kids. Simply submit a choice anecdote or two (exes' obnoxious traits, red flags, etc.), then upload pics of the objets d'heart you're down to sell along with a background descrip, preferred payment method, and price, being sure to keep in mind you're going to have to start paying for sex again. Current offerings include a pair of rugby shirts from a dude whose "formerly cool girlfriend turned into a Desperate Housewife in the making"; a DKNY watch from a chick who ended things in part because she had reason to suspect her man was gay; and an ill unisex custom bike a dude built for his girl before she decided "she hates polar bears and bought a Hummer", which, in case you missed it, is something you're going to have to start doing yourself. If you need tips on moving on, there's even a whole section dedicated to helping the recently single navigate everything from online dating to break-up boning, as listening to Silly Love Songs will only get you so far.