USS Dunham: A reflection of a hero

Tuesday

Jul 4, 2017 at 2:01 AM

By John Anderson johnanderson@eveningtribune.com

As Richard Caruso took in the fanfare and pageantry of another Change of Command ceremony of the United States Navy USS Jason Dunham destroyer, he took several photos and videos of dignitaries and crew members.

During a solemn moment while touring the ship, Caruso was able to capture a moment only an embedded, trusted friend of the military and Dunham family could witness.

Dan Dunham, the father of the late Jason Dunham, a Medal of Honor recipient and national hero who is the subject of a book and many dedications, was walking the ship named after his son.

On this visit, he stopped in the officers’ mess hall.

Dan came face-to-face with the actual Marine Corps dress blues his son wore, neatly on display in an enclosed glass case on the ship.

Caruso saw the same image and snapped a photo. He then moved on and started eating breakfast.

During the meal, Caruso went through his camera roll. Staring at him was the photo of Jason Dunham's uniform, but also the solemn eyes of Dan Dunham. Somehow, without being in the photo, Caruso captured a photo of Dan Dunham's reflection staring straight at the glass enclosure with the Marine dress blues clear as day.

Caruso asked Dan Dunham, "What was going through your mind as he was standing on the ship, staring into the glass case?"

Eventually Caruso would get the answer. The answer which told a lot about Jason Dunham and his selfless parents, Dan and Deb Dunham, who continue to honor other military members and treat each one as their own while their son is memorialized across the nation.

"Out of all the hundred or so photos I took the past couple days documenting this amazing journey, this is one of my favorites," said Caruso. "When I reviewed the pic, I noticed Dan's reflection and I wondered what was going through his mind staring into the glass cabinet.

"Dan said that it was very emotional and ghostly to him. He told me, 'Rich, I held his hand as he took his last breath and that was 13 years ago ... it seems like yesterday ... the pain as a parent never goes away.' He told me when President (George W.) Bush awarded the Medal of Honor to the family in Jason's name, he told the president of the United States, ‘Everyone you send over in harm’s way deserves this medal as far as I'm concerned.' When he told me that at breakfast that morning, I started tearing up."

Dunham was fatally wounded in Karabilah, Iraq in April 2004. He was manning a checkpoint with other Marines when he was attacked by an Iraqi assailant. During the struggle the assailant dropped a grenade with the pin removed. Dunham jumped on the grenade, covering it with his Kevlar helmet and body to smother the blast. He died eight days later at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md.

Caruso is a Marine and a Hornell native who currently lives in Myrtle Beach, S.C. He recently drove 15 hours to Scio on Memorial Day and to pay respect and hold a dedication for new signs he and fellow Marine Chris Martelle purchased.

"That's just who the Dunhams are. They realize Jason did a heroic thing. But they always say, 'It didn't shock us when he jumped on that grenade to save his buddies, Jason would always help and protect his friends and the underdog.' They don't look at Jason's valor as any more important than those who did just as heroic acts but didn't get recognized for it," he said. "Their hearts break for those that received nothing, but did so much."

Caruso said he feels the same way the Dunhams do about those who serve this country.

"In their eyes as in mine, everyone who serves this country is a hero," said Caruso in a post on his popular Facebook page. "God Bless the Dunham family and God watch over those who are nameless still struggling with their demons of what they did and witnessed in a foreign land for our freedom, Semper Fi."

ARRIVING AT THE SHIP

Caruso witnessed the red carpet treatment as a guest of the family.

"We pulled into Norfolk, Va., with Dan and Deb Dunham at about 1930 hours and had these two Navy Hard Chargers waiting for us with smiles at the restaurant when I arrived," he said. "They were the two top men who guide and are in charge of the USS Jason Dunham, Navy Commander Kevin Hoffman and Navy Command Master Chief Michael Carbone. They said, 'Welcome, Richard, we will take care of any needs or concerns you have during your stay here in Norfolk, Va., and while you’re aboard with us on the destroyer.' We had a nice dinner as they laid out and explained the itinerary of the next day. At 0900 there's an 'All hands on deck' order for all military staff to meet and greet Dan and Deb.

"And throughout the entire day, we'll be on different parts of the ship, touring and doing events. I'm like a kid on Christmas morning," Caruso said. "I couldn't sleep all night because of the anticipation of the day. I woke up at 0345 hours, preparing for the day and finding a gym. This Marine was getting his workout in before walking around all those young Navy Hard Chargers."

Caruso's Facebook page is filled with interesting, sometimes humorous and even emotional interviews with Marines he meets around the country. It could be at a store, it could be in traffic because of a bumper sticker or simply someone on the streets, down on his or her luck. Caruso helps turn his or her day around. On this day, he was surrounded by active military members on a ship named after his Marine brother.

"My adrenaline was pumping, looking forward to seeing the young military staff look at Dan and Deb like rock stars with awe, as the parents of our Marine Medal of Honor recipient, Cpl. Jason Dunham as well as meeting the keepers of the destroyer USS Jason Dunham," said Caruso. "The furthest thing the Dunhams want is to come off like people who are better than anyone or people to be looked up to. They look at all these young military members as family."

That was Caruso's proudest moment, the walk up to the destroyer.

"Getting out of the car with Dan and Deb, seeing 300 or 400 crew members waiting for us in the heat and screaming and clapping for us. I started crying behind my dark glasses. Those kids, those young men and women, when they saw Dan and Deb, they were crazed," said Caruso, who patted his chest and showed his love back to those cheering. "Dan and Deb were crying. They aren't there to be on the stage, they were just walking up to board the ship to say thank you."

Caruso was then presented with a gift.

"I couldn't wait to love on the crew and show my appreciation to them for their service to our great country," said Caruso. "As I left dinner, the commander of the USS Jason Dunham shook my hand and told me he was honored having a Marine tour the ship tomorrow and slipped his challenge coin in the palm of my hand saying, "Semper Fi." He told me to make sure my cell phone is on 'airplane mode' tomorrow when I board the ship, otherwise it will be useless because of their advanced radar system. All I could think was, ‘What an honor,' it's going to be a great day, Semper Fi."

A MEANINGFUL DAY

"I was just honored to be there," said Caruso. "What a day, hanging with our Marine Gold Star Family Dan and Deb Dunham aboard their son’s naval destroyer, the USS Jason Dunham. We loved on every sailor, from the lowest ranking to the ship’s commander. We had unlimited access and they definitely treated us as family. This crew definitely loves the Dunhams and they love them back, Semper Fi."

Caruso then summed up what it's like touring the ship with the Dunham family.

"It's like visiting the Lincoln Memorial with the parents of Abraham Lincoln," Caruso said.

The event was a Navy Change of Command. Caruso explained one captain was given a new assignment and another was coming aboard as the new ship’s commander. The old captain is Navy Commander Kevin J. Hoffman and the new captain is Navy Commander John W. Hamilton.

"When Commander Hoffman was talking, during his speech, he said, 'In my quarters in the USS Jason Dunham, I have a hand-painted portrait of Jason Dunham and a hand-painted portrait of (United States Marine Corps Lieutenant General Lewis Burwell "Chesty" Puller) smoking a pipe. At the end of the day, I always walk in my quarters and look in Jason's eyes and say, 'I hope I made you proud today and lived up to your honor. I then look at the hand-painted picture of Chesty as he's smoking a pipe and visualize him saying, ‘You need to do a little bit better, kid.' That was his way of thanking Deb and Dan saying every day I try to honor and live up to the legacy of your son."

As the day went on, Caruso asked Dan Dunham what his son would be most proud of — the Medal of Honor or the destroyer named after him?

"He said, 'Richard, Jason would have been honored to get the medal, but totally honored for the Navy ship, because he could relate with every member on the ship. He would have been thrilled to be part of the process like we have from the first day a bolt was put in the steel,'" said Caruso.

During the Change of Command, Caruso realized he didn't belong upfront, shaking hands with the brass. He belonged in the rear with the crew, with the heart and soul of the ship.

"They are the heart and soul of that vessel. I told them, 'You are my people.' They knew what I was talking about," said Caruso. He said the Dunham family meets and embraces every single person on the ship.

"We were walking through the ship and there was a sailor with the last name of Dunham and I stopped. I asked if he was related and he said, ‘I might be!’ I said 'Dan, he might be related to you!' Dan said, 'I don't know if he's on the family tree, but if he's serving on this ship, he's family.' Dan and Deb Dunham are on that ship sweeping, washing dishes. They do everything to show the crew how much they appreciate them and love them," said Caruso. "They show they are not above any task."

Students at Scio Central School, where Deb Dunham teaches, send letters and Christmas cards to the Navy crew members on the ship. They thanked Deb and Dan for those letters and cards.

There was another female who had been there for three years and just got orders off the ship.

"When she said, 'I got orders.' Deb was kind of sad," said Caruso. "They exchanged emails to stay in contact. A lot of those sailors have her personal email, I would like to say the whole ship does!"

THE CUP

Despite his many military meals in the Marines, Caruso went to work on the “Navy chow" for two days.

"They definitely treated me like family and bent over backwards trying to fulfill any needs or wants I had. Maybe being with the ship’s mom and dad had something to do with that," said Caruso.

At the last luncheon as Caruso took his last sip of sweet tea, he looked down at the red plastic cup he was drinking out of in the mess hall. It had a beautiful emblem of the ship at the words "USS Jason Dunham. DDG 109."

"I gave Dan Dunham 'the look.' Dan knows 'the look' because we grew up in the same area! He knew I was going to conceal and transport my plastic cup back to Myrtle Beach as a souvenir without detection. As I put the plan into action the mother of the ship busted me! Deb Dunham said, "No, no you better ask!" My partner Dan and I just looked at each other in defeat. Mother Deb asks one of the senior chiefs, "Can Richard take one of the plastic cups home?' He looked at me, perplexed by the question, and said, "Sure!" Being the Marine that I am, I played it off smooth and looked at Mother Deb as if I didn't know what she was talking about. As we left the mess hall, I slipped it into my pocket. Guess I probably won't get a invite to the White House in fear that I'd steal the napkins! Hey, I was proud to be on my Marine brother’s ship and wanted a memory!

THE THANKS

These are Caruso's words, his final entry on the trip.

"I want to take this opportunity to thank my dear friends, Dan and Deb Dunham. They have brought me into their lives and opened up their hearts to me. They have trusted me to protect their family and legacy of their beloved son, my Marine brother, Cpl. Jason L. Dunham," said Caruso. "They are humbled by all the love and attention and many times, they shy away from it. They are small-town, hard-working, blue-collar folks who will go without to make sure your needs are met and you’re taken care of.

"I will leave you with this story. Dan, Deb and I were sitting with about 15 to 20 enlisted crew members on one of the lower decks of the ship. The crew’s eyes were focused and big on Dan and Deb listening to stories about Jason growing up. At the end of one story, I felt I had to interject. I stopped talking about Jason and started talking about the two special parents sitting in that room who drive 13 hours a few times a year down here to Norfolk, Va., just to hug the necks and kiss the cheeks of the crew," said Caruso. "Dan lowered his head and Deb looked away. They were both uncomfortable with me putting the focus on them, but I didn't care. I wanted that crew to understand that Jason's character and values were molded and developed by those two parents sitting in front of them. Dan and Deb did NOT walk around that ship looking for attention or praise. It's the complete opposite. They shake EVERY hand and thank EVERY crew member and call them family.

"They help the crew with the little things showing them love and support and to the crew that means the world. For example, putting on rubber gloves and standing behind the chow line working serving and slopping chow feeding the crew. That's who Dan and Deb are. They are like you and me. They talk about their mistakes in life and struggles but eventually bring it back to family," Caruso continued. "They would rather sit around the kitchen table and tell stories about family and their children then be around dignitaries and around all the hoopla looking for a photo opportunity of being with parents of a Medal of Honor recipient. I've said enough ... these are special people to me and for those who truly know them, you are sitting there reading this, shaking your heads 'yes' in approval. I love you Dan and Deb, and thank you for an amazing experience. I'll see you down the road very soon, Semper Fi."

(John Anderson is the regional editor of the Hornell Evening Tribune, Wellsville Daily Reporter and Dansville's Genesee Country Express)

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