I'm currently unsure whether Radio Shack Gnomes are preferable to Gremlins

"Hi can I help you find something?""Sure." I hold up the NiCad battery I need to replace so people can talk to me. "How much would it be for a new one of these?""Oh, easily $15.00." He finds one and demonstrates either that he can predict the future, or that the price of phone batteries is a fairly common question. As he hands me the new one, he asks, "How old is that?""Two or three years at least.""So, probably a 900?""That's my guess.""Well, you really should upgrade to a 2.4. We've got one here on sale for...""Thanks, but I'm not in the market for a new land line. This might just be a stop gap.""Except that by the time you buy two of these batteries, you've already paid more than you would for a whole new phone.""I guess that's something I'll have to live with.""...and it's really easy for the police to pick up your signal with a 900. You really should upgrade.""I hadn't really thought to discuss my illicit activities on my cordless, but I'll be sure to keep that in mind.""Do you have an answering machine in your setup?""No.""So you have to pay voicemail charges each month? That's just like throwing money in the toilet.""Please let me reiterate. I need a battery. I'm not interested in a phone right now, and if you keep trying to sell me one, I'm sure I can find another place that will be happy to sell me just a $15.00 battery.""Ok, well, I'm David. If you change your mind, I'l be over here.""Thanks, Dave. If I need your help, I'll be sure to come running."

*sigh* Not too many people call your Uncle Sam these days... but come on down, every kid who buys a small Coke and a slice gets a free cell phone. We've still got some off-road racers to go with your Sam's Kids Meals.

I thought my company put the pressure on... I wonder if they require him to do that.

At my store, at the very least, I have to offer every customer an additional item, suggest a promotion to them, offer them an electronic gift certificate, and ask them if they would like to sign up for the e-mail list. Additionally, they expect us to strike up friendly, light conversation with literally every customer. These items are all on the "shop," which is conducted by one of those secret shoppers. Failure to do any of these can result in a dramatic grilling by the district manager.

Why am I telling you this? Well, maybe he doesn't have a choice. His company may have similar standards that are strictly enforced.

Although I won't disagree with you that it's still ridiculously annoying as a customer. Why do you think I'm running like hell to get out of my job?

That happened to me when I went in to get a new cellphone battery. After looking at the deals on new cellphones, especially the Sprint upgrade deal, I figured it was cheaper to get a new phone (new battery=$70, new phone upgrade=$30). The salesman tried to get me to buy the expensive type with camera/toaster/corkscrew/microwave/automatic ball washer. I kept telling him I wanted no bells and whistles, no big packages, bottom-of-the-line. Eventually I had to say, "This is the phone I want, this is the contract I want, I want no extras," in the most rude tone. The other salesmen snickered at him as he backed down.

He still tried to slip in a waist clip and earphone package at the end.