Yet it is the message in Twilight that is disturbing. Young readers encounter women, embodied in narrator Bella Swan, shoved back into traditional gender stereotypes that have taken years of effort to overcome. And millions of young girls (not to mention adult women) are devouring these books.

I worry about the girls who seem, with quite a bit of personal conviction, to put one of the main characters of the Twilight "saga,” the vampire Edward Cullen, on such a high pedestal that they think he is the ultimate ideal of a boyfriend. That he is not. These girls need a wake-up call: Edward Cullen is a caricature of an emotionally, psychologically and physically abusive boyfriend -- and one with supernatural powers no less. It can’t be healthy to have an attachment to a fictional character with those qualities, much less a real person.

Apart from the vampires who attack Bella at the end of the first book (Twilight), Edward is the source of most of her abuse. He is dangerously possessive. In the third book (Eclipse), for example, the vampire boyfriend removes the engine from Bella’s car because she wants to go visit her friend Jacob Black. Edward stalks her, constantly asks where she is going and what she is doing and plays hot and cold in their love affair. He neglects her emotionally in some passages; in others, he tells her he loves her and wants to be with her forever.

A phrase in the series is used to sum up the relationship between Edward and Bella: "and so the lion fell in love with the lamb.” A symbolic, romantic concept perhaps, but it only reinforces traditional gender stereotypes of males being strong and dominant, and females being meek, demure and passive. Feminists have fought for decades to eradicate this trope and to stretch the boundaries of how females are viewed by the dominant society.

While Yarmosh's point of view may offend some TwiHards, and I think she's got Edward Cullen ALL WRONG (Hello?? Edward's not a caricature of a physically abusive douchebag! Everything he does is for Bella's sake. Grr), I don't necessarily disagree with her perspective in its entirety and may even share some of her concerns.

31 comments:

I understand where she may come from.For years women have been fighting to show that we are not the weakest gender. But what women doesn't love to read a romantic, obssesive love affair? We all have it in us, and there is always that one person that breaks our heart and leaves us feeling empty and broken. It seems like this women never experienced anything that strong and she never will because she keeps putting herself on a pedestal, acting like she can't and won't EVER feel the way Bella feels for Edward. Saying that, it is without a doubt that young girls will think that ALL relationships should be like that. But it is the parents responsibility to tell them that all relationships are different. So in conclusion, everyone needs to get over it! These are fictional characters and if you can't deal with it then DON'T READ IT! I Love the books and I will support Stephenie Meyer with all her future projects.~Emmett's Girl~ haha!

There is so much to say about this that I don't think I can put it all in a comment. I may have to blog about it myself...dang I have better things to do, but this bugs me. I will just say that it's all about perspective...like most things in life. You can choose to see the Twilight series as anti-feminist and detrimental to...well everything women are supposed to stand for, or you can see it as I beleive the author intended. A love story that shows completely irrational, all consuming love. Bella and Edwards love for one another is not reasonable, and if you have never loved someone beyond reason then I fell sorry for you. I think that Breaking Dawn, love it or hate it, answers a lot of the negitivity that was mentioned. But at the end of the day can we remember that it's fiction and fantasy and right or wrong we can love it, just because we do.P.S. Classic lit if FILLED with stories that paint relationships and woman in a negitive/gender steriotypical light. Does that make them any less masterful in their literary value?

I have to say i agree with most of what seh said, after i finished reading all four books i thought about this myself, i mean is not all how she says but i do see Edward Cullen as being somewhat obssesive and controlling but not abusive.

Does Este think that every reader of Twilight not see this relationship between Bella and Edward is possesive and abusive? These parts reminded you that love does prevai, and your blinders go on , and common sense go out the window. I see this whole story as a warning to readers,that even the most unlikely person to fall in love, Bella, should be careful in relationships were you give over yourself to another person. It certainly got Bella in trouble. And has she lost the fact that so many people are clammering over the books because the actors in the movie are gorgeous? But this is where entertainment and reality must be seperated. The story is fasinating. I love the Twilight Series!

Saying that he's a controlling is simply a surperficial perspective. Yeah, okay, the fact that he removed part of her engine was a little over the top. But it doesn't stop her from getting what she wants. And he doesn't abuse her for doing it. Emotional neglect? Why guy hasn't done that?

I'm disappointed in Yarmosh because she could have actually written a really good article that talked about abuse/respect (however slight or severe). Instead of focusing on one currently popular series of novels but what is present in popular media today. It appears to me that Yarmosh didn't actually read the books, but took passages here and there to give her perspective some validity. You want attention good or bad write or comment about something Twilight related and you get your 2 minutes in the spotlight.

Sure Edward at times might have taken extreme measures, like removing the engine from Bella's truck. But these are extreme situations. I would have had a problem with it if Jacob was still JUST human Jacob and he was doing those kind of things to prevent her seeing him. But Jacob was a young, immmature, shape-shifting wolf. He was concerned for Bella's well being around the young wolf pack that could at any moment get angry and shift? (Remember what Sam did to Emily?) It is extreme but any guy would take extreme measure perhaps if their girlfriend was planning to visit some wolves that may not be entirely in control of themselves just yet. So I'm not going to argue that it was an extreme action on Edward's part but in turn, it was an extrmeme circumstance. BTW, Romeo killed Juliet's cousin, and they both killed themselves for eachother. Is that a good message? NO! But it's fiction and I think people disect things and take things too seriously.

Saw the film, fell madly in love with a Brit named Pattinson & then read the books non-stop. Can comment on 2 levels: pop lit or literature.

As pop lit the books are plot driven & inventive though overladen with refs to 'in' labels, pop. stereotypes, etc. The obsessive Bella-Edward relationship is an adolescent wet dream, but a great romance for the beach. The plot should not be subjected to over-scrutiny as it won't hold up [one word: menstruation].

As literature the books are badly written, overlong & full of cliches---trite purple prose of the first water. Adequate for the beach (though the day is surely coming when they'll be discussed in seminars).

That they present a traditional view of the sexes has much to do with their enormous popularity. The main character is OMG a heroine, i.e. female, & she addresses the (now largely)sublimated female need for the knight on a white horse. Further, this view is packed in a chaste abstinence which, as Denby of the New Yorker noted, is sexier than sex.

For young girls the idea of undying (eternal) love is magnetic. More experienced women will recognize the subliminal linkage of sex & death: great sex always has a sense of dying (not sure if Meyer intended or was even aware of this aspect). Parents should not regard these books, however, as 'How to Abstain' handbooks, for that they surely aren't.

Also, I would like to add that Bella is not a marysue like some people suggest. In NM, she saves the man she loves and in BD, she turns out to be the heroine. She has been saved by Edward but in all fairness, he has been saved by her in many ways.

theparle - You really need to look up the definition of Mary Sue... being a Mary Sue has nothing to do with Bella saving Edward or Edward saving Bella, it's about a lack of any real character flaws and things, look up the definition of Mary Sue. Find an online Mary Sue test (there are plenty) and put Bella's character through it - she IS a Mary Sue.

I agree with everything she said - but, I think it's okay in fiction... I've read books with borderline incest in them (Mortal Instruments trilogy, for example), but it doesn't mean I think that's okay in real life. As long as the young girls reading Twilight don't start thinking that the relationship that Edward and Bella have is perfect or ideal or okay then it's fine, swooning over Edward is fine - as long as they don't base their ideal guy on him and their ideal relationship on Edward and Bella's.

"Hello?? Edward's not a caricature of a physically abusive douchebag! Everything he does is for Bella's sake." - I'd like to point out that, THAT is the exact excuse that abusers and abuse victims often use "oh, he's just doing it because he loves me"/"I'm doing this for your own good" etc. He may have had good intentions, but that doesn't excuse his actions - he had no right to control her the way he did, Bella is old enough to make her own decisions, being worried about her and protective of her is fine, but he had no right to try and make her decisions for her.

Even in New Moon, he tells himself that his leaving is for her - but if you really think about it, it was for him, when you love someone, you put their wants, their needs and their happiness above your own - she stated time and time again that she just wanted to be with him, to be like him and the only thing that she was scared of was losing him... hell, his psychic sister even SAW them together and happy with Bella as a vampire, but he still tried to control something that was never his choice to make.

It was because HE didn't want to make her like him, because HE didn't want to feel guilty... it was all because he's such a self loathing masochist with a hero complex that he did it, under the illusion of doing what was "best" for her.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is, it's fine if someone loves the books, it's fine if Edward's character makes them weak at the knees and the Edward and Bella romance makes them aww-out-loud because it's FICTION. But in real life, a relationship like Edward and Bella's wouldn't be healthy or ideal, it WOULD be considered abusive, not physical abuse, but mental.

Lets see, he's controlling, he stalked her before he had even talked to her - but we excuse that in Twilight because it's considered "romantic" and he's a vampire and she likes him too, but be honest... you find out a guy has been following you, sneaking into your room and watching you sleep, would your initial reaction be to want to kiss him? No, it would be to run away screaming and slap a restraining order on him. If your boyfriend dismantled your car to stop you from going to see a friend, because he didn't think you should be hanging around with that friend, what would your reaction be? If he had his family members "kidnap" and babysit you whenever he had to go out of town, just to make sure you didn't run off to see your friends... what would you do?

If you say you'd just sit back and take that, then you're either lying or you're a complete doormat.

People stay in relationships like that for a lot of reasons, sometimes out of fear and sometimes out of love - they love the person, so they put up with it and they excuse the persons actions because they tell themselves "he's only doing it because he loves me." it doesn't make it okay.

I get that it's just fiction and that most of the people reading it are smart enough not to let it affect their judgement, but I have SEEN and spoken to young girls who have read it and now want their very own Edward Cullen and have complained that boys they know aren't like him and all that and they call him the perfect boyfriend.

It's hard to imagine liking the 'Twilight' series, and more specifically Bella and Edward AT ALL, even as 'fiction,' if there wasn't some level of understanding about 'questionable' actions/behaviors based on the person's INTENT.

Was Edward doing the things he did to bully Bella? To scare her? Intimidate her? Harm her? No. It *was* to protect her. Edward has such strong feelings about himself and 'his kind' . . . he truly believed that he understood the danger more than Bella did or perhaps even could, but not due to a 'weakness' on her part.

"Stalker" bears huge negative connotation.

Not that it's perfectly 'normal' to have a guy sneak into your room and watch you sleep, or anything (ha!) . . . it's just that I think understanding 'the intent' is what makes it all more 'understandable,' not the fact that "it's fiction."

I completely disagree with the NM comments.I see Edward as self-loathing, definitely . . . but I don't think he has a hero complex AT ALL.

I think he believes that the best way he can show his love for Bella is by doing what's BEST for her, not doing what she wants him to do. Sometimes, we want bad things. Sometimes, we want things that are bad for us. Real, true, pure love does what's BEST for the person, for their protection, for their life, for their furtherance. Even if it means not giving the person what they WANT or THINK THEY WANT.

To illustrate, think about a parent stopping a child from eating too much junk food, hanging around with destructive friends, spending too much time in front of the tv. Think about (I'll say this according to my religious beliefs) God, who gives 'instructions' to live a fulfilling life in Him . . . we can look at these things and say, "But it's not what I want! I want to do 'this.' I want 'that.' " But a loving parent or a loving God says, 'But that's not what's BEST for you.'

It's not about POWER. It's not about dominance. It's not selfish or martyrdom. It's about a genuine belief that what's best may not be what someone 'wants.' Being willing to DO that . . . to me, that's love.

(Think Moulin Rouge, too . . .)

To me, Edward leaving was about a form of unadulterated love that says, "I'll give up not only what you want, but what *I* want, too, because it's best for you. Someday, you'll see that what you 'want' would have destroyed you."

Now, was Edward wrong about that being what was best for her? Well, judging by the return of Laurent, perhaps. Probably. However, based on what he knew/thought/believed at the time, and that he didn't really WANT to leave, his reasoning seemed 'loving' to me.

What I'm surprised no one else has yet mentioned about the article that was written is the lion/lamb comment. That wasn't about GENDER at all. Not in any way.

The lion/lamb comment is actually way more basic and LITERAL than that. It's about a predator falling for his prey. The fact that the lion is male and the lamb is female is irrelevant . . what matters is that the 'lion' is a superhuman creature who is "designed to kill" and who's never encountered a 'lamb' so tempting to him. So, what does he do? He falls in love with her. Natch. :)

ohh pleasee that is rediculous...you have to be kidding me...no one would have even thought that way if you didnt look for it. Edward Cullen is only lookig out for Bella Swan...and the metaphor about the lion and the lamb you deff took to much time to read into that and think about it...lion and lambs do not mix..vampires and humans do not mix... The way Edward treats Bella is amazing and wish every guy could be as considerate...and you feminists need to go complain about the average male rather then bash a fictional book.

JennJam, in a lot of abusive relationships, the guy (or I guess, in some cases the girl) genuinely believes he's doing what is best for the girl... sure, it's easier to understand that than if he was doing it to be cruel, but it doesn't change the fact that he didn't have the right to try and control her (and let's not forget that in NM, Bella spent months around a bunch of young werewolves, who kept her alive and protected her while Edward was gone - his reluctance to let her see Jacob didn't come across as trying to protect her, it came across as him trying to control her and seeing as there was proof that she could be safe around the werewolves, it seemed to stem more from jealousy)

You compare how he acts to how a parent would (I'm not even going to touch on the God thing, because I'm Agnostic which would affect my opinion)... are you saying that a boyfriend should have the same amount of control in his girlfriends life as a parent would their child?

Because that is NOT true... for one thing, Bella is not a child, she is an adult and she is capable of making her own decisions - even if Edward doesn't agree with them, he doesn't have the right to interfere with them. Tell her he doesn't like it? Sure. Sulk about it? Fine. Worry about her? Perfectly okay... but dismantling her car and having his sister practically kidnap her? He had no right to do that. Even with the best intentions, he had no right - he's not her father, hell, even if he was he wouldn't have a right to stop her from seeing Jake, she's 18 years old.

You said that it's his INTENT that makes it excusable... that's not the case - in fact, relationships like that are more dangerous in real life.

Tell me this... if you were with a guy, and he was deliberately cruel and controlling towards you, you'd probably be scared of him and sure your emotions would complicate the situation, but it would be a hell of a lot easier to leave him than being in a relationship with someone that you love, someone who is controlling but they're nice about it - because then you make excuses, you say it's okay because he's only doing it because he loves you... but emotions cloud your judgement and make it difficult to see that he has no right to do that (Bella even eventually gets sick of him being so controlling and has to sneak off to see Jake anyway)

His stalking, like I said before, we only consider that a sweet and romantic thing in the book because Bella feels the same way about him - if she didn't, and he was following her around like that, watching her sleep, it'd be creepy instead of sweet.

With the NM thing, what I meant was that he thought he was right, he thinks that he knows best when he really doesn't - which he does realise, about 2 books later... telling a lie with the best intentions is still a lie - the whole thinking he's right thing? That's an abuser trait, they think that they're right and justified in doing what they're doing.

We're never going to agree on this - like I said, it doesn't bother me that the books are like that because it is just a story, but it doesn't change the fact that a relationship like theirs, in real life would be considered abusive (that's my whole point really - it IS okay in the books, the way it's described, it does push it more towards romantic, but if you translate those actions into real life, then it's an abusive and unhealthy relationship).

As for all the people that keep saying "it's fiction, it doesn't matter" - to an extent, I agree... but I think what some peoples problem with it is that young girls who are easily influenced are reading this and they want to be just like Bella and meet a boy just like Edward and find a relationship as "awesome" as theirs is, which really isn't something they should want.

I have a bit more faith in humanity than that, I think the majority of girls who read the books aren't stupid enough to want a real life Edward personality clone, but I've seen a few who do - who now think it's romantic to be stalked and have a guy be protective to the point of being possessive.

"xoxbabigrl311xox said...(...)The way Edward treats Bella is amazing and wish every guy could be as considerate...and you feminists need to go complain about the average male rather then bash a fictional book."

Thank you for proving my point, babigrl311 - YOU are exactly the type of person that has all the feminists worked up.

It may be "just fiction" but you and many other girls are influenced by it.

I honestly hope you never end up stuck in an abusive relationship where the guy you love tries to control you "for your own good" because I assure you, you wouldn't consider that being treated "amazingly".

Actually, maybe the bitch in me does hope that - so then maybe you would see my point, plus, you'd be getting what you clearly want.

In the book, yes, it's sweet - but in real life, it's not... just like Romeo and Juliet romanticises suicide, it's sad and tragic but it tugs at your heart strings, but in real life, two young people killing themselves in the name of "love", it's not romantic at all - it's just a tragedy. Things that are okay in fiction - romantic in fiction - aren't the same in real life.

I am SO tired of hearing tight a**ed people who don't get it. I'm not going to lay out anymore of my arguements because most of you have said it for me. Shame on anyone who thinks a man that wants to love and harbor a lady from being hurt is supposedly abusive. Gah!

Okay, I know. I just commented, but I have to say this. This person is holding Edward Cullen to the standards and thought patterns of a NORMAL human male. He isn't. He's a vampire whos reluctantly introducing a fragile HUMAN girl into his violent world. So yeah, if you love someone strong enough then your going to go to the ends of the world to protect them. Bella was the one I wanted to smack across the face in Eclipse! I felt so bad for Edward. Jacob was abusive in his manipulation toward Bella too, but you never hear anything about him, do ya?

I can say this about Jacob - - HE’S the one I took waaayy more issue with than Edward in the ‘mistreatment’ department, at first. In NM, his constant ‘digs’ at Edward, despite the fact that he knew how much it bothered Bella, annoyed me and made me dismiss his feelings toward Bella. He seemed selfish and immature. It wasn’t until the end of Eclipse that I (happily!) saw Jake grow to see/understand more what ‘love’ is, and I viewed him totally differently then.

@lanna-lovely, I didn’t ‘compare how Edward acted to the way a parent would’ - - I used the ‘parental love’ explanation an *example* of LOVE. (not CONTROL) I’ve never referred to Edward as ‘controlling’ but because you see Edward as controlling, you hear what I said as examples of ‘control’ not evidence of ‘love.’ The parental example was intended to say ‘this is an example of proper love to another person,’ not to indicate that I believed Edward should be a ‘parent’ to Bella.

I also never said that ‘it’s his INTENT that makes it excusable,’ I said it’s his intent that makes it more UNDERSTANDABLE.

Honestly, kerri pointed out the main point I wanted to make when reading your response to my post. As a **vampire,** Edward recognizes how naïve Bella is. His views on her safety, protection, and what’s best for her are based in a fact that she COULDN’T know as a human. His actions, decisions, and behaviors are driven by not only his love for her but his understanding and acceptance of the dangers that she faces. He doesn’t view the wolves as ‘safe.’ They are his kind’s mortal enemies. He knows what Emily looks like and why.

Mostly, he knows that at every possible turn, Bella downplays the dangers she faces as a human in a world surrounded by dangerous creatures. She doesn’t even believe *Edward* is a danger to her, but he knows he is. (He says, ‘I’m dangerous.” “I’ve killed people before.” “It’s not safe to be around me.” “I don’t know if I can control myself.” What does she say? “I don’t care.” “You won’t hurt me.” “It doesn’t matter.” He knows that all facts point to ‘our worlds shouldn’t mix like this’ and she doesn’t understand how much danger she’s actually in. But he does, and he's rightfully frightened for her.)

It’s her constant denial met with Edward’s knowledge of reality/truth that causes him to act the way he does. I think in this series, that’s the MAIN reason why I just can’t buy the ‘controlling,’ ‘jealous,’ ‘abusive’ depiction of Edward that people sometimes try to give about him.

That, plus I believe that since we're not talking about 'a guy' here, we're talking about 'a vampire' interacting with humans, it's easy to see why Edward's behavior might be viewed differently than if he was 'a human man.'

JennJam - I totally get that the fact that this is just a story and Edward is a vampire and all makes it understandable why he acts the way he does (although I still don't think he had the right to, I get it).

My point was that, I agree with what all the people claiming Twilight is anti-feminist and Edward is abusive are saying... it's fine in the story, but their point is that so many young girls are reading this and being influenced by it and in real life, their "Edward" wouldn't be a vampire and it wouldn't just be a story but still, some of them end up thinking that the way Edward treats Bella is healthy and their relationship is the way a good relationship should be when it's not.

It's fine in fiction, but translate it into real life and it's not okay (THAT's what I'm trying to say - as a character, Edward maybe isn't an abusive boyfriend... we know his motives and the whole vampire thing and the fact that Bella is content with how he is... but a person like him in real life, acting the way he does in the book and doing those things that people consider "controlling", THAT would be an abusive relationship).

Like I said, xoxbabigrl311xox proved my point exactly - she said that Edward treats Bella amazingly and she wishes every guy acted like he does. It's fine in the story, but can you HONESTLY say that in real life, you'd be okay with a guy stalking you or a boyfriend telling you that you can't see your friends, even going as far as to dismantle your car to prevent it?

The article and what the feminists are saying is less about the story and more about how it influences the young girls reading it - it's fine saying "it's just fiction, it doesn't matter" but it does, fiction CAN influence a person, I've seen it and I've seen young girls who love Twilight letting Edward and Bella's relationship influence their judgement on the kind of guy and relationship they want.

lanna, you obviously have a strong distaste for much of twilight and seem very bothered by many of the characters. you have a blog post discussing relationships of different characters (some of them twilight characters) which shows that you despise bella and your comments about edward have been very critical and negative. you criticize the book, writing, and content even in your profile as you list the series under 'favorite books.'

one could be left to wonder what it is you actually LIKE about the series, why you would frequent twilight sites, and why you would list them as some of your 'favorite' books when it seems you spend the most time ripping them apart.

Just because I like something, doesn't mean I'm blinded to it's flaws and it has A LOT of flaws. I love the Harry Potter books, but there's things I don't like about that too.

With Twilight, I consider it like... the book equivelent of TV shows like One Tree Hill - I love OTH, but I sometimes really hate it and a lot of the characters really piss me off but I can't help but like it anyway.

I could quite easily come up with things I like about the series (excluding Breaking Dawn, which was too bad to even make it into the "guitly pleasure" catagory)... the writing in Twilight is bad, I really don't like the movie either (but I've been following the whole movie thing since before anyone was even cast for the first one - it's become like a habit), Bella is a Mary Sue but aside from all that, the story still kept me hooked and I like the minor characters like Embry, Leah, Alice, Emmett and Jasper etc.

Twilight being under my favourite books section, is simply because I haven't changed that part of my profile in years... back when I very first read Twilight (before Eclipse was out), I loved it but rereading it, you start to pick up on it's flaws and it's one of those things that become less likeable once the initial rose tinted glasses shatter.

If the blog post you were talking about, was the meme about which ships I like, then you would've noticed that under pairings that I like, I had "Jasper/Bella" as one of them which are two characters from Twilight (sure, they're a non-canon pairing but I still love them - there's hundreds of fanfics for them, which I'm hopelessly addicted to).

One of my favourite books is also The Old Man & The Sea by Hemmingway, but I can admit that it's actually a really boring and monotonous book - that doesn't mean I can't like it. When I love something, I like being able to admit and identify it's flaws and then if I still like it in spite of those flaws, it shows that it really deserves to make it into my favourites list - I'm not one of those fan girls that thinks that something I love is absolutely perfect and flawless, that would just be obsession.

Plus, I'm just a really opinionated person (and Twilight is one of those things that I could rant about for ages, it fuels my argumentative side. If I had to, I could just as easily argue in favour of Twilight... something I have done on the TwIMDb boards plenty of times) - one of my major personality flaws.

Besides, the stuff I've said in these comments haven't really been aimed at Twilight exactly, I've said countless times that I'm fine with Bella and Edward's relationship, my whole point was a relationship like theirs in real life wouldn't be so good. :]