November 15, 2007

Overheard: They're Not Drunk, They're Speaking in Tongues

By | November 15, 2007

Keep sending them to overheard@cornellsun.com. Thursdays, right here in DAZE.

Freshman girl: You know, I could really go for a glass of apple cider right now. If only I wasn’t allergic to fruit.
— Appel

Guy: How do you spell bureaucracy?
Girl: You have a spell checker right in front of you.
Guy: I’m that far off!?
— Uris computer lab

Stoner 1: Pot’s like, not bad for you. Like, how is it bad for you?
Stoner 2: It kills brain cells.
Stoner 1: Yeah, but, like I have an abundance of brain cells.
Stoner 2: So then you’ll just be average?
Stoner 1: Guess so. But I never liked being average.
Stoner 2: Tough luck.
—Bio 109 lecture.

[In reference to a beaver]
Asian Girl: I told it “Stay” and it listened to me!
Asian Guy: It’s probably never seen an Asian before.
—Thurston Ave Bridge

Boy: Well, what did you think about the test? I didn’t like the question about current.
Girl: I know! Current! Why would I care about current? As long as my hair dryer works in the morning I’m fine.
—After Physics Prelim

Man to Woman [looking at Mann Library]: Whoa! That must be a new building, I don’t remember that there before!
—Ag Quad

Guy on his cell phone: WHAT! You got shot in the foot!!??
—Ho Plaza

Instructor: So think of triple bonded carbons as a pipe … and everything hanging off is just a little tassel. So then you take the pipe and ram it into the backside.
—Orgo Review Session

Guy 1: You didn’t know there was a church close to Collegetown Bagels?
Guy 2: No.
Guy 1: Yeah, that’s where all the girls are always coming from in Collegetown.
Guy 2: Oh, that’s why they sound like that — they’re not drunk, they’re speaking in tongues.
—West Campus

Related

Most weeks my writings resemble the works of acclaimed Vanity Fair diarist Dominic Dunne. For this column, though, I decided to class it up. Abigail Van Buren was my inspiration, because I too am technically unqualified, but am wonderfully apt to dole advice to the perplexed masses. Like Abby I also insist on having my glamour shot next to my article to prove that I am, indeed, real and that you can trust in my beautiful face. The following are verbatim questions and concerns from Cornell students and faculty.

ByNovember 20, 2007

The only dead art forms are those which cease to engage a living audience. Baroque dance, by this standard, is alive and kicking if this Sunday’s “Harlequin’s Capers: Dance and Music from the 18th Century Comic Theater” is any indication.
The concert in Bailey Hall presented the work of the New York Baroque Dance Company’s three-week residency at Cornell, including student dancers’ collaborations on two world premieres of reconstructions of dances originally choreographed by Jean-Joseph Mouret. The tension between a premiere (something new) and a reconstruction (something old) was deftly negotiated: the dances appeared both faithful to their sources while being responsive to their contemporary setting.