Welcome To Your Perfect Valentine’s Day Pity Party!

You guys, it’s Valentine’s Day. Happy… whatever. No matter your relationship status you still get a pity party. Why? Because we’ve all had them, and misery loves, oh, what’s the word… er… company! Yes, company!

Can we all agree that Valentine’s Day blows? If you’re in a relationship or not, the end result usually sucks. Even when I was in relationships on Valentine’s Day, it was a bust. I’d get some wonky ass flowers that would die three days later, we’d stand in line for a restaurant to which we had reservations, or my most favorite, that time we drunkenly snuck into a movie with cans of PBR and the fella in question threw up on my shoe. Yes, Valentine’s Day is awesome. Groan.

But why do we need a day to pledge our love to someone we, well, already love? Fuck if I know. Hallmark? Tradition? Society?

Because I love you more than I’ve ever loved some stupid Valentine, let’s commiserate, shall we? I’m not exactly sure what a Valentine’s Day pity party entails, so I’m shooting from the hip on this one.