Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Currently...

This is a list of things I'm currently doing, the original idea came from RuKristin Papercrafts journaling prompts...

Watching:

A few animated movies, which are always fun to view. I am also very into The Walking Dead series right now, and anticipate each new episode coming each week! Those are two very different genres for sure!

Reading:

The second in the Ultraviolet series by R.J. Anderson called Quicksilver.

Listening:

Fleetwood Mac- 25 years compilation albums of all their greatest hits over the years, its called "The Chain".

Making:

I have to admit, I haven't been making anything lately... I finished my Christmas cards and have written them out, enveloped and addressed them, all ready to send at the end of the month... But I have had no inspiration or inclination to make anything, or be creative.

Feeling:

I've been struggling lately. Depression has been crashing over me consistently for a few weeks now, and although I've been fighting hard against its currents, I'm not fairing well. The joy I seemed to have had for crafting has dwindled, and I find myself uninterested, agitated and overwhelmed by it; and many other things. I have always been able to work my way through these emotions, and be naively positive. But a lot has happened for me in the last few months, and I have changed as a person. A lot of my naivety and positivity has been crushed. I am very much feeling like I am only a resemblance of my former self... and that those parts are gone for good... What that means for me, who I am, what I want, and where I go next - I really don't know...

Planning:

To just keep swimming... I won't be giving up... I just have to figure out how to get through this, and how to find joy again. It's just going to take time, I guess.

I hope this hasn't been too depressing for you, but I felt the need to get some things off my chest, and be honest... Maybe writing could help me work through these things, and perhaps get some advice, if you have any? I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks for reading and commenting.

6 comments:

O Annmaree, I am so sad to read this... you sound very sad... I am a lot older (50+) than you but life experiences does change us... whether that be trust, love, hurt etc these can make you feel very lonely...and sometimes they can be lost for a while...Pets are a great way of spending time at present they love us no matter what....I like your plan for not giving up...it will take time but you are a strong beautiful young women and I know you can get through this....Big Hugs from the UK.....May x x x x

You may be miles away Annmaree, but you have so many friends out here and you just keep doing whatever it takes to get through this current stage. If writing it all down (which I for one believe always helps) then you go for it, as they say a problem shared is a problem halved.

And you have your pets, they understand our emotions so well and mine have got me though many difficult times.

I ditto all that May and Brenda have said. Keep working through it Annmaree and glad you have those pets….animals always give you a smile. I agree with you this animated movies are always fun to watch. Take care

So sorry to read you are in a sad place at the moment .. .. but you will get through it with the help of your family and friends .. .. and your determination not to give up.

There is a saying that "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger". I think this is true but sadly the process of becoming stronger can really hurt. Most people have been there to a greater or lesser degree .. .. and it is possible to come out of the other side a happy person.

Just try hard to be strong and not let others change you. Be true to the person "you want to be" .. .. not what others think you should be.

Your old self will come back I am sure .. .. but you will be more "wordly wise".

Well done on getting all your Christmas cards ready .. .. you have done much better and I have there!

Hi, Annmaree! Im sorry that you are going through this. Wished we lived closer we could spend some time together watching movies ect! Hang in there you can overcome this!Don't let other people steal your joy to the best of your ability sounds like that what you are doing but its just taking a bit longer. Thats ok sometimes it does take awhile to overcome such hurt. Just remember you are a beautiful person inside and out and we all love you!!My suggestion is trying to play with some art journaling or mixed media and just create for fun dont focus on any particular things but just create have fun and see what you come up with . See if art journaling or mixed media can help you turn that sadness into art. I have heard many say art journaling has really helped them and sometimes they will just add a words like joy or tears ect and they go with that and see what they can create. Some doodle. use stamps ect. One year when i was really stressed and frustrating I started drawing heart and adding word and just played with everything mixed media and really likeed how it turned out it helped me focus on being creative and not my frustration. The word I used was stress and patience. Lots of love & hugs!!

Hi Annmaree I have been reading your post it is good that you are keeping busy reading etc, I love your pictures they are so clear and detailed. I do hope that your depression lifts soon but I know the place you are in I am there nearly everyday which is why I am not around so much in blogland, it is so hard these days to get myself motivated. Take care and enjoy your animals.hugslorraine x