The Conspiracy of the Ego: Part 6.

The emotions that are in the gap of the images we have and the images we want

The associated experiences and senses that get triggered

We have written all of these down in detail and given the amount of integrity and authenticity you’ve put, even more memories and feelings should have surfaced. Chances are you have figured out there are a lot of contradicting feelings and ideas you have internally. The way you want to be is nowhere near where you are currently. It’s your decision to allow these emotions and experiences to hold you back from expressing the self you want to project. So now that at least most of the major incidences have been exposed, what do we do next?

Simply, you will relive each incident. Reliving is relieving.

In mediation, you will go back to each incident. Go back to that point in time, relating to the best of your ability the age, the mindset, the beliefs, the clothes, the senses, EVERYTHING that happened in that moment.

I have to make this clear: remembering is NOT reliving! Don’t listen to your mind when it tries to rationalize the feelings or experience!

The difference between remembering and reliving is time. When you remember, you don’t relate anymore to that part of your past because time has passed and your dimensions have changed. When you relive, you assimilate those dimensions of your past and go through what it is you went through. This is the most difficult part of the process because we may have forgotten a lot of the details. The idea is to assimilate as much as you can and consciously go through the experience again and again until the emotions associated with that memory pass through your system.

There will be times when emotions easily slip out of you. There will also be moments when traumatic events are relived in the body. You will go through the emotional turmoil and that is the point. Consciously be aware of this, but allow the emotions to come out. Don’t hold back. Just observe yourself, your mind, and whatever it is you are going through. Observe the same way you would observe a familiar stranger going through hard times, without judgement or input. Simply allow it to happen in you.

A few other things:

You will have to relive the experiences more than once, at least 5 times. The emotions need to be broken down to the point they no longer have any control over your will.

Be comfortable and well-rested when you do this.

Your mind will try to take you away from the process by justifying the experiences. It will tell you that it’s not your fault, you were young, it was a long time ago, you learned from your mistakes, etc…DO NOT HEED YOUR MIND. GO THROUGH WITH THE PROCESS. If those experiences really didn’t matter anymore, they wouldn’t be affecting the choices you make and the experience you undergo now. There is no relationship between the experiences of ‘You’ in the past and the experiences of ‘You’ now.

If you do this exercise intensely, consciously, and authentically, you should feel lighter mentally and physically. You should feel as if loads of weight have been removed from your system. Many people also undergo physical changes. In my experience, my lower-body increased in flexibility. The thoughts that you have have an effect on your physical body, they create blockages and can remove them as well.