Monthly Archives: June 2015

The whole thing about investing in personal improvement is exciting, but also scary.

I mean I like to learn new things. In the past, being honest, it’s the applying new things that has sometimes complicated the results I hoped to achieve. And, there’s another thing that’s on the edge of my thinking: I don’t want to be taken advantage of. I don’t want to be a sucker anymore … or again.

So, what I’ve been promised is that I’m going to learn a way to improve my investments. I like this idea. I understand, it begins with me. It begins by me asking and answering questions honestly. To do this of course means I need to stop kidding myself and get serious about applying what works, while at the same time set aside what doesn’t work. I guess the big question for me is can I do it? Naturally, I think I can, so more specifically, will I apply what needs to be done?

But of course, it’s for my own good isn’t it? When I think about it, it’s about making good choices, instead of bad choices.

Do I want to improve my personal investments? I’ve already said that I do. And, I do.

“Alright,” he said, “are you ready to add what’s next? Are you ready to start building a better investment?”

“I’m pretty sure I am. What’s next?”

“Okay, let’s do a quick review … you were here, now you’re here.” He held his right hand, palm up, down low, and he held his left hand, palm down, about eighteen inches higher. “Progress has been made. Before you go farther remember you recorded two or three things you want to accomplish. I asked you why these haven’t been accomplished? You have some reasons and excuses. Maybe these are valid and maybe they aren’t. Still, you committed that you’re willing to take responsibility for you and stop doing what doesn’t work and start doing what will work.”

“Uh-huh.” I’m a bit embarrassed.

“So, we’re here.” He raised his left hand again. The objective is to improve your investments. Is this accurate so far?”

“Yes, that sounds right, it’s what we’ve discussed.”

“All right in order to build worth and value, the next thing to do is choose a foundation.”

“A foundation? Like … “

“A quality foundation—rock, not sand.”

“Meaning?”

“If your choice is sand it means you’re choosing something that may not hold up to stress.”

“Stress?”

“Stress can be the situations and circumstances of life. For instance the car won’t start in the morning and the company is depending on you to lead an important breakfast meeting with a top client. Or, your son tells you he needs a pair of $150 shoes so he can be competitive. Or, you wonder if you should see a doctor about the pain in your lower back. Or something else … make sense?”

“I get it. Sand isn’t the preferred foundation material.”

“Correct … rock is better.”

“Because it handles stress better?”

“Precisely.”

“So what defines sand? What defines rock?”

“Fair question … sand is a choice made or rock is a choice made. Sand is something that may work at times, but in the end fails. So the question is then, why use it for your foundation?”

“Sure …”

“Rock is a material that holds up in all circumstances and has proven to be most reliable. It succeeds where sand fails.”

“Really?”

“Really. Your life is the proof test. Your life tests and proves the value, the worth of building your foundation with rock. So, your choice is sand or rock.”

“Rock seems like a sound investment.”

“But not a cheap investment.”

“How so?”

“Rock requires more effort in building than the use of sand. Sand is easier to lay down than rock. But you’ve already established that you want to use what works best and not use what doesn’t work.”

“That’s right.”

“The rock foundation and the sand foundation our relationships.”

“This is a con, right?”

“Hardly … I’m giving you a foundation material that establishes a sure foundation for improving your future investments. Still interested?”

“I think so.”

“But you’re not sure because you think you might be cheated?”

“Um, yes, I think that’s a possibility.”

“I assure you, you’ll always have the choice to choose whether to go with this investment or choose something else. It’s up to you. No one is going to force you, or con you, or manipulate you into doing anything you don’t want to do, you can always walk away,” he said.

“Fair enough.”

“So, without a doubt, you have a building material. Are you happy with it? Is it working for you? The test is are you moving in the direction of achieving what you hope to achieve? The foundation that is going to work best for you is a relationship with Jesus. Are you still interested in improving your investments? Do you want to know why this is your best choice for improving your investments?”

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I stared at the three quiz questions on the flip-side of his business card. I thought to myself how do I answer these? How would you answer these?

Here are the three questions:

Do you want to improve your life?

Are you willing to accept responsibility for you?

Will you reject what doesn’t work?

Heavy stuff.

I admit I am a bit anxious about our meeting. I’m uncertain what might happen? Though I’m definitely fascinated by what I might hear.

I’m sitting in a restaurant booth—waiting. The place is lunchtime busy. I hear his voice from slightly behind me. “Hi how are you?”

“Better, thank you.” And we launched into small talk, as he slides into the booth, opposite me, facing me.

We ordered our lunch choices and while we await our food, he asks, “Did you take some time to think over the three questions?”

“I did.”

“Great! How did you answer the first question, Do you want to improve your life?”

“Yes, of course I do.”

“Very good. It seems like a no-brainer, doesn’t it? … How did you answer the second question: Are you willing to accept responsibility for you?”

The waitress set our water and iced tea in front of us, flashed a smile, turned and walked away. I reached for a sweetener as I said, “Yes.”

“Okay, and question three, Will you reject what doesn’t work?” He squeezed his lemon slice into his water and stirred the water, ice, and lemon with his straw.

“Yes absolutely, that would make sense wouldn’t it?”

“Alright, you’re saying that you want to improve your life, that you’re ready to take responsibility for you, and that you’re willing to walk away from what hasn’t worked for you, correct?”

“Yep, that sums up what I’m saying.” The waitress returned to our booth with our orders. We fumbled with condiments and eating utensils. I stabbed at a salted, ketchup dipped french fry, and lifted my fork to my hungry mouth.

“Excellent.” He wasn’t commenting about his salad, instead he was remarking about my answer to the questions written on his business card.

He continued. “All the questions are meant to measure your willingness to commit to improving your life.” He dipped the fork prongs into the Caesar dressing and then poked a chopped piece of lettuce, stuck it in his mouth and began chewing. “So the first question is probing for an answer as to whether you want to change. Let me give you an example, it’s like Jesus asking the man at Bethesda, who’d been sick for thirty-eight years, ‘Do you want to be well?’ This is a decisive question because the guy knew how to be sick, but he didn’t know –or had forgotten, how to be well. In this question I’m asking, do you want to be well? Because all of us have to decide if we want to get better, don’t we?. Ya gotta wanna improve your (situation, circumstances), life. Do you follow what I’m saying?”

I swallowed a bite of my hamburger. “Yes … I must commit to wanting my life to improve … and once again—I do, I want to improve.” I looked directly into his eyes so he could read my sincerity.

“This is a big first step. I compliment you. Now just before you pick up your mat and walk, let me explain the intent of the second question. It’s about reasonable reasons for improving, or on the other hand, unreasonable excuses for not improving.

“Can you give me an example?”

“Certainly. Let’s pretend I have a cussing problem, which I have had in my past, and it still flares up on occasion. Although most of the time other people can’t hear me because I’m swearing under my breath, nevertheless I’m still cussing. I may excuse my behavior because I think it’s no big deal, because no one hears me. But I heard me. I’m responsible and accountable for changing my behavior. I must guard my lips from misspeaking if I want to improve this area of my life. I cannot blame swearing on how my dad and mom raised me, my school, or my friends, for instance. The cussing is my responsibility. It’s my choice to swear or not to swear. I determine how I’m going to act, it’s my decision, my choice, my responsibility, right?”

“You’re saying that I have to choose to improve my life … take responsibility, hold myself accountable … and drop whatever excuses I may come up with.”

He gave me a nod, a thin smile, and continued. “The third question is a final check on the depth of commitment. Will you reject what hasn’t been working, for something that will work and improve your life?” He paused to eat more of his Caesar salad.

I pondered the question being asked. As I mulled it over, being careful not to respond too quickly, too flippantly. I finally said, “You mean, will I trade what doesn’t work for what does work? Well, I’m not an idiot.”

“And the question doesn’t mean to imply that you are a half-wit … it implies that we are inclined to seek easy fixes, we all want to improve, but we often aren’t willing to put a lot of effort into improvement. Especially if the effort becomes boring, or difficult. We’re not into being inconvenienced. So if this happens, and the chances are pretty certain it will, then we’re more than likely to quit trying, and then, nothing actually gets better—improves. So, are you up for investing in your personal improvement?”

I pretended to study the last bite of my cheeseburger, “Well it’s for my own good, isn’t it? … Where do we go from here?”

“You get dressed for work and start building a strong foundation that will serve you for the rest of your life, help you achieve things that are important to you.” He picked up the check the waitress had dropped on our table.

Like this:

I met him at an all-day Saturday seminar during a fifteen minute break, he sat two chairs to my right. I stuck out my hand and introduced myself. “Hi I’m …”

“Pleased to meet you, I’m …”

We did the small-talk thing, talked about the seminar, the weather outside, and our favorite sports teams before I asked, “What brings you here? What’s your business?”

“I am an investment consultant. I talk to people about how to improve their life.”

“Interesting. So, what does that mean? How do you do that?”

“Well, let me give you an example; let me ask you a couple of questions, okay?”

“Sure”

“What are two or three things you’d like to accomplish? Could you list two or three things you’d like to accomplish?”

“Yeah for sure, no problem.

“Great! As you’re think about those two or three things, here’s the next question: How would your life improve if you completed those two or three things? In other words, what would your life look like? Are you able to picture this in your imagination?”

“I can, yes.”

“Fine. Next let me ask, Why haven’t you already realized these two or three things?”

“Oh, I …”

He ducked his head, held up his hand in a whoa gesture and said, “Whatever you’re going to say let me add, if I could show you a way to have what you want—not in the far off sweet by and by, but beginning right now—would you be interested?”

“Absolutely … sure I would.”

“All right, let’s set a time where we can sit down and talk for about thirty minutes, how does that sound?”

“How much is it going to cost me?”

“Fair question,” he said. “My initial consultation is free. If at the end of our meeting you decide you want to meet again it’ll be your decision … what’s a good day for you?”

I was intrigued, so I said, “Tuesday.”

“Terrific! Morning, afternoon, or evening?”

“Lunchtime.”

Each of us entered the where and when of the appointment in the calendar on our smart phone. Then he pulled a business card holder from his jacket pocket and handed me his card.

Finally he said, “Before we meet for lunch this coming Tuesday, consider these three brief quiz questions printed on the back of my business card and we’ll start with you telling me your answers, okay?”