The Holy Republic of North Bratislava is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Old Saxophone Joe with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 7.48 billion North Bratislavans love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dinkytown. The average income tax rate is 97.2%.

The frighteningly efficient North Bratislavan economy, worth a remarkable 1,424 trillion pounds a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 190,438 pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation, elections have become procedural nightmares due to voters persistently rejecting candidates, nature magazines featuring stick insects on their covers are sometimes mistaken for fashion magazines, and on-call doctors who check their pagers during movies are banned from cinemas for life. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. North Bratislava's national animal is the bison, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bratislavan Orthodoxy.