Sunday, October 21, 2018

“Is it an insult?” Until now, Jasmine had forgotten the
surprising whisper. “It is, My
Child.” “Why?” she asked. “Centuries of misunderstanding.” Sitting on her bed after the Sunday school
lesson when Abraham stood up to God, eleven year old Jasmine wondered what it
meant that Mr. C thought she was “just like Eve.” To herself, she thought, she asked if the
comparison was an insult. At that time,
she should not have been too surprised.
In childhood, whispers of mystery came to her from time to time, but by
the time, she was eleven, they were quite rare, and by her teens, they had
disappeared completely. In adulthood,
Jasmine could think of only one: when a whisper nudged her out of her position
as a high school English and drama teacher.
It wasn’t until then that Jasmine even remembered she had received any
such whispers in childhood. Now, she had
merely a faint memory that they had come, but she couldn’t recall more than one
or two, nor was she sure whether any were to be trusted. Mysteriously, the memory of this one had just
suddenly returned.

When she had received the whisper as
an eleven year old, the only part Jasmine took seriously was the affirmation of
the insult. Much of Jasmine’s fifth grade year was a battle between the
numerous questions overtaking her mind and her commitment to prove the insult
wrong. Today, Jasmine muddled over the “centuries
of misunderstanding” part. At eleven,
Jasmine wished to disprove the comparison. Now, at thirty-three, she wondered whether she
should disprove the insult itself.

Racing
through Jasmine’s head now was Head Elder John Prager’s “prayer.” It sounded so biblical, but felt so wrong, and
repeated in her mind like an ad jingle refusing to go away.

“Our Father in
Heaven, thank You for bringing this young lady to us.

We pray You will
forgive her. In the Name of Your Son, cleanse her heart, purify her
mind, transform her by the renewing of her mind, and help her to flee youthful
lusts. Thank You for your great mercy
upon this repentant sinner, Lord. Amen.”

The biblical
references were clear: “cleanse her heart,” “transform her by the renewing of
her mind,” flee youthful lusts.” One at
a time, she entered each of them into her Bible reference software. Psalm 51:10 popped up: “Create in me a clean
heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” Jasmine prayed the verse, repeated it, and
prayed it again. Next, the program
presented Romans 12:2: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed
by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will
of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Jasmine prayed and repeated that one too, and
sighed. Hadn’t she already been trying
to do that?

The
complete verse for the next reference stopped her in her tracks: “Now flee from
youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who
call on the Lord from a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22). Jasmine stared at the scripture,
astonished. Could the full verse really
say that? Jasmine had heard the first
part of 2 Timothy 2:22 many times, but she didn’t know the scripture had a
second part. Shaking her head, stunned,
she pulled out her own Bible, looked it up, and confirmed the full verse said
exactly that. Nothing could describe
better what she had been trying to do than “flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness . . . with
those who call on the Lord with a pure heart.”
The elder’s order was the
opposite. It forbid contact between
those who call on the Lord with a pure heart.
Jasmine wondered whether the elders had ever seen the full verse. Were they, like her, only familiar with the
first part? Or, if they did know the
full version, did they think she and Davie were not calling on the Lord with a
pure heart? They must not have, she
reasoned, as they had ordered no contact between them, the opposite of the
scripture’s command.

Then
the elder’s final words to her also re-emerged: “Women. Always the thorn. Always the tempters.” Always. Jasmine’s heart stopped with the revelation:
the church elders trusted Davie was
calling on the Lord with a pure heart, but they did not trust the she was.
They had not paused to hear her story.
They had asked no questions. They
had never fact checked their assumptions.

“Always.” Definitively black and white. Eve.
Also definitively black and white.
Or, more to the point, black. But
why? The elders were not alone in seeing
Eve as black. Even her beloved teacher,
Mr. C., had perceived Eve as black. She
liked him so much that it pierced her heart and troubled her deeply when she
let him down, which, given her persistent questions, was often. Still, Jasmine reflected, she had had the
courage to ask Mr. Casey her questions. If
her question was pressing upon her too doggedly, she asked him in spite of his
likely reproach. And she was only
eleven. What happened? Where had her courage gone? Why was she now such a wimp that she lacked the
courage to ask the elder her questions.
The list was growing: Does a beer
do anything to tempt a guy? Did the
elders know the second part of 2 Tim 2:22?
If so, why not find out if she’s living it? Do they not wish to hear her story?

Then,
of course, she still had her biblical questions. Even now, two decades later, Jasmine still
wanted to know why Noah let God drown the world, why God commanded Joshua to
commit genocide, and why God would harden a king’s heart and then punish the
king’s people for what was between the king and God. And now, she added another truly personal
question: Who, really, is Eve? What does
it mean to be just like her?

Suddenly the second whisper
of mystery of Jasmine’s adulthood’s arrived: Find out. What was that?
Find out. Who is Eve?
What does it mean to be just like Eve?
Search out your questions, and I’ll guide you.”