Don't stand so close to me … David Cameron and Ed Miliband trade insults via the medium of Police song titles. Photograph: Stefan Rousseau/PA

Woop-woop, it's the sound of da Police. Or at least it was in the House of Commons on Monday when David Cameron and Ed Miliband took some time out from saving the world from financial catastrophe in order to trade insults via the medium of Police song titles. It's what we voted them in for, right?

It was Miliband who kicked things off, describing the long delays to Cameron's Europe speech as "a tantric approach to policy-making" before going on to say that Cameron was parliament's answer to Sting: "They've both fallen out with the police, so there were go."

The last line is a good one but spoiled entirely by the previous use of the word "tantric" in a sentence involving David Cameron. The mental image was bad enough when it involved Sting.

Anyway, Cameron came back with: "He's obviously been running through his old Police albums. Given his policy on Europe, I can recommend So Lonely … and since I Can't Stand Losing, he'd better get used to it."

This was slightly more forced. So Lonely surely better describes the Conservative party's more isolationist stance on Europe, whereas the correct song title is actually I Can't Stand Losing You. Luckily for Cameron, nobody was listening as they were still coming to terms with the aforementioned sentence involving "tantric".

It proves that even if you're quick-witted enough to think of the correct song titles on the spot, it's tricky to turn them into a cutting political insult that actually makes sense. Or is it? Maybe Guardian readers could do better than Cameron and Miliband? Which song titles or lyrics would you use to insult our political leaders? Send us a message in a bottle, or at least a comment, and we'll pick the best ones …