8.2.17

This week the Horror Duo fight through the flu in order to discuss an entire collection of wonderful leading ladies for Women in Horror Month. Forest shares his thoughts on the cheeky Planet of the Apes parody, Play-Mate of the Apes, starring Misty Mundae & Debbie Rochon. Cory reviews Nightmare Sisters featuring the super cast of 80s scream queens, starring Michelle Bauer, Brinke Stevens & Linnea Quigley.

They chat about watching Star Trek in their opium den, James Cameron may be bringing the world a new Terminator film, and Stranger Things crosses paths with Godzilla: King of the Monsters. All this and backwards talking midgets.

PLAY-MATE OF THE APES

NIGHTMARE SISTERS

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In episode 240, Cory mentioned his doubts about Kong’s size. Officially, Kong in the movie will 100 feet tall, but is only an adolescent. As the movie is set in the early 70s, he’ll probably have grown to a near-Godzilla height by the time GODZILLA vs. KONG is set.

About Dolemite in episode 241, he showed up in the late 90s in a cut n’ splice film called SHAOLIN DOLEMITE. The movie incorporates new, cheaply-filmed footage of Rudy Ray Moore reacting to unused footage from a loopy 80s Taiwanese ninja movie called NINJA: THE FINAL DUEL, not too unlike NINJA COMMANDMENTS. NINJA: THE FINAL DUEL in its original form features ninjas riding around on plastic spiders and a woman engaging in a sword fight while wearing absolutely nothing.

The director of NIGHTMARE SISTERS, David DeCouteau (Duh Coo-TOE), did a lot of work for Full Moon and is a homosexual. He has worked on a number of gay porn movies under a pseudonym. If THE THREE SCREAM QUEENS was also directed by DeCouteau, then that would explain the beefcake on the cover.

Cory talked about James Cameron going back to basics. Perhaps he could make a spiritual sequel to GALAXY OF TERROR in which we find out what being a planet master means. Or he could remake PIRANHA 2: THE SPAWNING as a second sequel to the boobalicious PIRANHA remake.

Did you two see Misty Mundae in the Masters of Horror episode “Sick Girl”?

About Debbie Rochon doing nothing in PLAY-MATE OF THE APES: Considering that Tim Burton had actually considering including a love scene between Mark Wahlberg and Helena Bonham Carter, I can’t imagine why a softcore parody wouldn’t go all the way on the interspecies erotica front.

I'm not sure what you have Forest, but I do know of a immunizer booster recipe, assuming you have a juicer. You need 1 red onion, 1 grapefruit, and a ginger root (how much ginger root you want to use is up to you, but no less than 1 inch). Juice that all together into one liquid concoction, and drink a couple spoonfuls each serving. It will taste like shit, but it should be able to cut your recovery time in half. Worked for me when it came to colds. Combine it with Echinacea pills or tea, and you'll also have the perfect protection against strut throat.

And Cory, and Forest, regarding Terminator and its confusing timeline, don't you know that time travel is a bunch of

Anyway, that aside, do you assholes want some gifts? Willing to send you some if you're willing to review a couple films that I recommend. And these are special films that I recommend in all seriousness without meaning to be a prankster, a troller, or an asshole, though maybe you guys do want me to be the latter, in which case I can work my speech around that by making some statement like, "Watch these films or you will get raped by dolphins next time you go swimming in the ocean!" or something like that. But anyway, these are films that I believe deserve to be not just watched, but their history more well known given their controversy. And I can also promise you that at least one of them will be true to Slaughterfilm standards in every way, much more so than fucking Showgirls.

PS: Guess you guys decided to skip the whole Groundhog Day thing. Are there any movies about killer groundhogs or gophers? Closest I can find is Caddyshack.

PPS: If you guys say yes to the gifts and the reviews, one of those gifts will be Terminator-related.

How does Cory choose which of the posted comments to read and will he narrow them down if there are too many? For instance, when reading the comments related to the "Mimic & Prince of Darkness" episode, Cory seemed to read comments from youtube and Twitter, but not from the website. How will I know if the complete nonsense I write will be immortalized on the next show or instead be lost in the ether for all eternity?