Cautionary Tales For Children
Wonderful witty poems great for reading to your children. The stories and rhymes will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Research has shown how important YOU are to your children and how as a dad the things you do, and keep on doing, really count, whether you live with them, or you are a single dad and are only able see them once a month, once a week or more, what you do really matters. This site is dedicated to all dads but will be of special relevance to the single dad. Remember, you are half the reason your children exist and they need you whether you live with them or not. As their dad, you have what it takes to make their lives successful and fulfilling no matter how often you see them. This site is about all the positive things that we as parents have to offer our children.

The Children Act, 20 years on, so what's going wrong?

It’s been nearly twenty years since the 1989 Children Act became law. Hailed as a piece of enlightened legislation at the time, perhaps it is time to ask whether or not its lofty ideals are being delivered in practice. So, after two decades to bed in nicely, are the high ideals of The Children Act being delivered? Well there are plenty of people who think not, so what is going on?
. . .
Research collated by charity ‘Relate’ suggests that the single most important factor in the long-term emotional wellbeing of a child of divorced parents is their relationship with the non-resident parent and of course, in over 90% of cases, this is the father. Studies show that children with poor or non-existent relationships with their fathers tend to have:

Lower self esteem

Higher incidence of behavioural problems

Higher incidence of stress & mental illness such as depression

Lower academic achievement

Higher criminality & substance abuse

More problems forming relationships with partners

More likelihood of passing similar problems onto their own children

Separation is a difficult and emotionally draining process, especially when children are involved, and the family courts are intended to facilitate more straightforward dealings between parents so as to best protect the interests of the children. But as anyone who has experienced the mishmash of red tape and officialdom and stomach churning assessment processes, it seems that nothing could be further from the truth. Yet disturbingly, widely recognised estimates suggest that as a result of this and other systemic failures, between 25% and 40% of fathers lose touch with their children within three years of divorce, and when this happens, it’s not just the fathers that lose out.
. . .
In a separate study published last year, researchers found that children came off worst when parents continued to argue over access and ignored their wishes. One fifth of the children surveyed said that they did not have enough say over where they spent their time. High levels of parental conflict are understood to cause serious harm to children. Which in turn has huge consequences for society both now and later on when these children are grown up with families of their own. . . .
The core principle of The Children Act is that the welfare of the child is paramount – but it’s clear that as a society we are failing to deliver even the most basic rights of children to have the opportunity to maintain and develop a proper relationship with their dads after their parents separate, both in the short term and over a lifetime. . . .
Perhaps someone is taking notice though. Films of Record, an award-winning production company experienced in making films about complex issues that are both legally and emotionally sensitive is filming a short series of documentaries, following real people and their experience at the hands of the Family Court system. This is a long project and the series is planned to transmit in 2009, to coincide with the twentieth anniversary of the Children Act making it onto the statute book.

You can find more information about the proposed documentary, via this link to the Films of Record website.

The programme-makers are looking for parents affected by these issues who would like to find out more and perhaps be involved with the programme. They are also interested to hear from sons and daughters who have lost contact with a parent after separation or divorce and feel that it has had a significant impact on their lives. Please contact Monika Kosicka, Clare Johns or Yonni Usiskin at Films of Record, by telephone on 0207 286 0333 or by emailing the production team. Getting in touch will in no way commit you to taking part in the series. All information will be treated with the utmost confidence.

WEEK 13, 2009How to stop arguing: Part 2How do you stop an argument if you are already in one, here are our top ten tried and tested ways of halting an argument in its tracks

WEEK 12, 2009How to stop arguing: Part 1Ten reasons actually why people argue (and that's not including what they argue over) to help you avoid the argument traps and habits

WEEK 11, 2009Getting ready for a new arrivalWhen you become a dad for the first time your life changes dramatically,so here are ten top tips on how you can prepare practically for the new arrival

WEEK 10, 2009Don't say goodbye...Ten top tips for dealing with all the goodbyes a single dad has to say and keep on saying.

WEEK 9, 2009Can I do that again?Think twice before you dismiss your kid's quirkiest comments, because children approach life with such an open mind, that there is often a great deal of sense in even the strangest things they say.

WEEK 8, 2009Food of the godsChocolate isn't all bad, in fact it's mostly good, see our top ten reasons why chocolate is good for you

WEEK 7, 2009The last thing I remembered was...Everyone has their own way of recognising the importance of the moment, but here are my top ten tips, conveniently sorted in to Mind, Body and Soul.

WEEK 6, 2009Caring for a sick childCaring for a sick child is never easy, but if you are divorced or separated then you might find these top ten tips helpful

WEEK 51, 2008Christmas without your kidsEvery parent's nightmare and many single dads' reality, is a Christmas Day without your kids. Here are ten top tips on how to have a great Christmas even if you aren't able to see your kids on the day itself.

WEEK 41, 2008Ten great first datesWhere you choose to go on your first date says a lot about you as a person and how you think, so make the most of it with these top ten tips for a great first date venue

WEEK 39, 2008How to encourage your kids to read moreSo, everyone knows how good reading is for their children, but how do you encourage them to read, or read more. Here are ten top tips to get you started and get your children reading books.

WEEK 37, 2008Ten ways to be positiveTen practical ways to be positive when it's tough, from the queen of positive thinking, Dawn Stannard

WEEK 36, 200810 ways to grow your kids' creativityDeveloping your children's creativity is your job and a very important part of their upbringing, here are ten ways you can help them develop their creativity

WEEK 35, 2008Relativity: When dark days feel like monthsWhen you are experiencing the trauma of a serious relationship break up, ironically Time seems to slow down, dragging out the pain and making things much worse.

WEEK 32, 2008Burning BuildingInternet dating is like being in a burning building looking for someone to help get you out, but the only people who can help you are trapped in the same building with you

WEEK 31, 2008How far have we come?Humans have been evolving for 1 million years and it's been 10,000 years since Cro-Magnon man developed the family unit, how far have we really come?

WEEK 30, 2008Who put that cup there?!What is it that is so seductive about blame? No one is immune to its satisfying qualities and its effects ripple through society at every level. Our kids are an easy target...

WEEK 29, 2008Winners and Losers? A thoroughly modern school sports day, that's more about taking part than about making one winner and loads of losers out of us

WEEK 28, 2008Living apart togetherSociety is changing, and more and more people have two places they call home, so why is Shared Residence still such an issue?