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Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

Joey, I've got a couple of fathead ideas I think we might have to look into originating... namely involving a certain Gatorade bottle, Mustard bottle, and Uno card......

"Nobody wants to play against Tyler Hansbrough NO BODY!" ~ Frank Vogel

"And David put his hand in the bag and took out a stone and slung it. And it struck the Philistine on the head and he fell to the ground. Amen. "
Want your own "Just Say No to Kamen" from @mkroeger pic? http://twitpic.com/a3hmca

Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

I didn't say anything about it at the game, but I forgot I had these and the Roy Hibbert Uno card in the prop box:

"Nobody wants to play against Tyler Hansbrough NO BODY!" ~ Frank Vogel

"And David put his hand in the bag and took out a stone and slung it. And it struck the Philistine on the head and he fell to the ground. Amen. "
Want your own "Just Say No to Kamen" from @mkroeger pic? http://twitpic.com/a3hmca

Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

AREA 55 NEWS YOU CAN TAKE TO THE BANK!!!!!!!

Salutations, long suffering ones!

Yes, last night’s epic 96-94 fail in Minnesota was painful to watch. Confronted with a Timberwolves group that lacked Kevin “So Much Not to Love” Love, Ricky “Honey I’m Home” Rubio, and J. J “I’m a Guard You Never Heard Of But I’m Good” Berea, our guys fell asleep and let an unguarded non-entity named Chase Buddinger beat us at the buzzer. It negated a stellar, 29-point career night from George Hill, a solid effort from always reliable David West, and a foul-plagued, but pretty good defensive performance from our patron, Roy Hibbert. The Pacers now are 2-4 in the Central. We should be 5-1.

Chemistry, my friends! Chemistry! Successful NBA teams are built on it and right now our guys are trying to find it.

OK, we can point fingers and scream about this and that. But our recent problems, in a nutshell, pretty much boil down to Danny Granger’s knee. With DG having been wrenched out of our roster, our chemist in chief, Frank the Tank Vogel, has been forced to re-don his lab coat and search for the right molecules, chemical bonds, sub-atomic weights, and obscure valences needed to get us back on track. These things take a little time.

So, fear not! Ignore the faithless! It’s still going to happen for us. It’s just a question of getting the right assemblage of electrons, neutrons, and protons back into the right formulaic sequence. Tonight’s game with the 0-4 Washington Wizards is exactly the kind of elixir our Pacers need to right themselves and find their missing molecular mojo.

My bet is that the Pacers return to the warm confines of BLF not particularly happy. When our guys are like this, seething frustrations tend to translate into bad news for the opposition. If I weren’t so partisan, I’d almost feel sorry for what I believe is going to happen to the hapless Washington Wizards this evening.

And remember this, 55ers! We are a small part of the Pacers home chemistry. Tonight, like our team, we have to bring it. Like the Pacers, we have a job to do. Nobody should be arriving in 101 late or leaving early. Nobody should be sitting down. No voices should be going home without being hoarse. There should be no let-ups in our noise level and the hell we need to visit upon the Wizards.

We’re Off to See the Wizards! So who are our foes this evening? The Wizards are presently flopping like beached carp at the bottom of the Southeast Division of the Eastern Conference. In some ways their problems mirror ours. Their biggest guns – Maybyner Rodney Hilario a/k/a Nene and Former Kentucky star, Johnathan Hildred Wall, Jr. a/k/a John Wall – have been out with plantar fasciitis and a knee injury, respectively. The Wizards, as a result, have become unglued and basically have lost their moorings. Last night they lost another one at home 101-91 to the Bucks. The only team playing worse than them in the NBA right now is 0-6 Detroit.

For what it’s worth, last year the Wizards had a similar dismal beginning, going 0-8 and precipitating the firing of their coach, the affable Flip Saunders. Flip was responsible for one of my favorite basketball quotes:

“We just need a win. We need a win. We need a win as much as possible.”

The problem has been inconsistency. The Wizard’s coach, former IU-standout Randy Wittman, stated post-game last night that sometimes the Wizards get good games out of their starters and sometimes out of their reserves, but so far, never both. Key matchups for the Pacers will be Trevor Ariza and Emeka Okofor. If we contain them, then: Presto! The Wizards will be returning to Hogwarts for a refresher course in basketball legerdemain and likely transmogrified into 0-5 slices of buttered toast.

PTO Doings: Unseasonable November balminess should make for heightened attendance at tonight’s pre-game Pacers Tailgate Organization conclave. As usual, the revelry will commence around 5:00 P.M.-ish and continue until just before BLF’s standard tip off time of 7:00 P.M. There’s a band competition in town today, Fun Seekers, so be prepared for $10.00 Parking prices in the otherwise placid facilities that surround PTO’s normal node at the South Street and Pennsy Street connection. Those Area 55ers, G2 Zoners, and the non-affiliated should keen their eyes for the Arby’s and then mingle at whatever parking area near the node that the costumed are congregating.

The PTO is a good opportunity to get acquainted with the motley cast of characters that populate Area 55 and the G2 Zone. Warning! Many are schizophrenic, dipsomaniacal, and/or, like PTO’s VP and GM, Casey O’Brien, criminally sociopathic. Others are merely demented, like El Pacero, and not really dangerous.

Females take notice! Some of the male attendees at the PTOs, like the cherubic and green-haired Elijah Helton are self-professedly lonely, have Profile Listings on Christian Mingle, and, the Lord willing, are in the market for life partners. Area 55 has had no intermarriage of yet. I hope to see at least one conjugal bond occur among our many members before my current lame-duck term as Area 55 Prez and Imperial Poohbah expires!

Clothing at the PTO is optional. Also, bringing your own booze and eats is a good idea as hoarding is ordinarily the by-word until people like Hobert (That’s Hobert with an “E”) Montgomery gets drunk enough to share the Pabst Blue Ribbon he normally totes in from Lebanon. Informality is the rule and RSVPs are unnecessary.

AND NOW FOR FUN FACTS ABOUT THE WASHINGTON WIZARDS!

El Pacero Confronts G-Wiz! There is serious bad blood between long-time Area 55 Member El Pacero and the Washington Wizards. It all stems from a confrontation between our Mexican Women’s Wrestling Champ and Wizard’s Mascot G-Wiz that happened many moons ago. Fortunately it was captured through the magic of videotape here:

As interested viewers will note, El Pacero was simply there in DC (as usual drunk – but harmlessly so) trying to watch a road game when G-Wiz abruptly accosted him and tried to pick a fight. Surprised at the unanticipated hostility and in the embrace of cerveza, Pacero was obviously not at his best at the time.

Actually, G-Wiz is fortunate that Pacero didn’t respond by figure-fouring G-Wiz’ head and making him bleat for mercy – Pacero’s normal reaction with the mujeres he wrestles.

If you want more info on this epic tete-a-tete you can interrogate Pacero himself at tonight’s PTO. I tried to get more of the particulars on this at an exclusive Area 55 Newsletter interview conducted last year. Unfortunately Pacero was intoxicated at the time and most of his responses were in an excited form of Tex-Mex Spanish. I recognized only the words “Un ataque injusto,” “Fuí muy borracho” and “¡Quiero venganza!” After that my poor powers of Spanish comprehension were exhausted.

Where is Flip Saunders Now? I liked the Wiz’s (not to be confused with Cheese Whiz – which I don’t like) former coach Flip Saunders. He was the last in a long line of Wizard’s coaches burdened by the so-called “Washington Curse.” He came to epitomize the angst and pathos inherent in trying to pilot a team in the NBA basketball hell that is Washington. To name some of those dearly departed affected by the Curse consider Gar Heard and Darrell Walker, Leonard Hamilton and Doug Collins, Eddie Jordan and Ed Tapscott. Then came Flip and then (after going 51-130) he went - just like all his losing predecessors. The current uneasy occupant of that DC coaching chair is Randy Wittman.

Good luck, Randy.

Luckily after starting 2-15 last year and then getting canned, Flip was able to land a cushy job with ESPN calling games. In the cloistered world of NBA basketball coaching, no coach ever is really permanently gone. Generally once you’re in the club you always land another gig with another team sometime, somehow, somewhere doing something no matter what your performance record at your last gig looked like. And while you wait for that new gig, you can always do a year or so as an opinionated but knowledgeable (and well-paid) color guy with ESPN.

Still, I miss Flip. He was always good for an incisive post-loss quote or a memorable but arguably belated good coaching move. Some favorite examples:

(After losing to the Sixers) "The first half we looked like ‘Space Jam’ where everyone lost all their talents and couldn’t do anything there for a while."

(After losing to the Jazz) “Palacio, Williams and Ostertag all hurt us in overtime. Those aren't the guys you'd expect it from.” No kidding!

Asked if having to deal with the troublesome Andre Blatche on top of all the Wizard’s other issues surrounding Gilbert Arenas frustrated him, Flip was philosophical. Recalling his minor-league coaching tenure at Sioux Falls, Flip said:

“It's not frustrating, having coached in the CBA for eight years. That's life; every day was like that.''

To be fair, Flip had to contend with a lot in DC. Last year he memorably disciplined Wizard bonehead JaVale McGee after JaVale alley-ooped to himself off the backboard to perform a breakaway dunk while the Wizards were behind. Clueless, McGee defended his decision later by saying:

"Apparently if you get a fast break and throw it off the backboard in the third quarter and you're 1-11, you're not supposed to do stuff like that."

I could regale you with more tidbits of memorable Washington Wizardry but unfortunately it’s real late and I better go to press.

Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

WORD UP FROM THE ZONE!!

Ahoy G2ers!

There's no way around it, this has not been a fun week to be a Pacers fan. Between one bad loss in San Antonio and two heartbreakers in Atlanta and Minnesota (giving us yet ANOTHER reason to hate Chase Budinger) last night, coupled with the news that "The Captain" Danny Granger is out for at least three months, it has been REALLY depressing week to be a Pacers fan. But don't panic! All is not lost! We are six games into a 82 game grind, and five of those have been on the road! Only the Detroit Pistons have played as many road games, and they are still winless. Alas, the Pacers get a chance to come home to the friendly confines of Bankers Life Fieldhouse, and I think our opponent might just be the medicine for what is ailing our Pacers in the winless Washington Wizards.
The Sandman Scouting Report: The Washington Wizards

Washington enters the Bankers Life lions den still looking for their first win, which makes them hungry. Much like our previous home opponent, their head coach will be very familar to IU fans as Indianapolis native, former Ben Davis Giant, IU alum and former Pacer Randy Wittman makes his return to Indiana at the helm of his third NBA team, and this may be the first one he may actually have a fair chance with, as his first head coaching experience came with the Cleveland Cavaliers for a couple seasons where he couldn't get the Cavs out of the division cellar, followed by a year and a half stint with Minnesota before he was fired for starting 4 and 15, and now getting his shot with Washington after getting the nod following his interim stint replacing Flip Saunders last season, in which he got the Wizards to actually appear to have a pulse.

On paper, the Wizards look to be a team that would be a dark horse for the playoffs. However, this is another team who has a key player sidelined indefinitely as the Wizards are missing their young starting point guard, John Wall, who is battling a stress injury in his left knee (wow this sounds familar). In his stead is a familar face in former Pacer AJ Price, who isn't doing half bad filling in, other than in the W-L record, as he leads the Wizards in the assist column and 3rd in scoring per game. The team has also been without the services of starting center Nene, as he has not yet suited up this season with a nagging case of plantar fasciitis. As a result, the Wizards are currently paced by young center Kevin Seraphin and first round draft pick Bradley Beal, and try as they might, their offense is just anemic, averaging 88 points per game, worst in the NBA.
Got a question for Born Ready?

Area 55 Grand Poobah Joe Murphy passed this along to me, via former Area 55 member Zach "LANCE STEPHENSON FOR PRESIDENT" Brown, who happens to be the webmaster for the official Lance Stephenson website, bornready6.com (the number change hasn't quite taken effect with the website yet). Zach wants to gather a huge list of questions for "Born Ready" for a Q+A session on the site, so if you've got a question you've always wanted to ask Lance, now is your chance! Email any of them you'd like to see answered to redfoster@gmail.com .

Indiana Special Olympics Torch Run

Much thanks to the G2Zone members who were able to attend the Law Enforcement Torch Run conference event at Bankers Life Fieldhouse on Thursday night for the Indiana Special Olympics. Between G2 Zone and Area 55, we were to get roughly 30 members to appear and provide a gameday experience for visitors entering the fieldhouse, many of whom wearing their own teams' colors. Needless to say, much fun was had by all, especially with those who wore the colors of rivals to our Pacers and Colts. We've received all sorts of positive feedback from the SOI and police officers. Those who stayed for the entire event also got a little surprise, as former Pacer Sam "Big Smooth" Perkins was in the house for the Special Olympics and acknowledged the remaining G2 and Area55ers in the house during his speech.
Fantasy Basketball!

For those who are interested, G2 Zone member and Flava Flav doppelganger JT Cocherell is running a G2Zone Fantasy Basketball league may still be in need of players. I don't quite have the math skills required to be anything more than a doormat, but for those who are fantasy sports junkies, inquire with JT to see if he still has spots available.
PTO!

In a somewhat surprising development, we actually for once should have a good idea of what lot PTO tailgating will occur in for tonight's game instead of the traditional winging it and seeing what the first person to show up can find: For those who arrive a little after 5pm, the large parking lot across Pennsylvania Street from the South Street Arbys is currently slated to be our home, with forecasted $5 parking fees, however, with a marching band contest occuring at Lucas Oil Stadium, this could change. Come on out, meet and have some pregame beer with the bizarre denizens of both Area 55 and G2 Zone. No word yet if Area 55er Hobert Montgomery will be supplying his traditional supply of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Stay tuned to @TheSandman21 for live information when people start arriving downtown.

Finally, I close with the words of G2's favorite evil Sith Lord, Darth Pacer after last night's heartbreaker:
"G2Zone better use this as motivation and scream until it hurts. Lets go. "
He's absolutely right folks (and I'm saying that without being threatened by the powers of the dark side of the Force). Our Pacers are struggling, they need our energy, so let's put this last week behind us, and go ALL OUT, tip to buzzer and get back to our winning ways. One win is all we have to do to get this train back on track, so let's follow the advice of our dark side wielding Sith Lord and go do work!
GO PACERS!

"Nobody wants to play against Tyler Hansbrough NO BODY!" ~ Frank Vogel

"And David put his hand in the bag and took out a stone and slung it. And it struck the Philistine on the head and he fell to the ground. Amen. "
Want your own "Just Say No to Kamen" from @mkroeger pic? http://twitpic.com/a3hmca

The Following User Says Thank You to Sandman21 For This Useful Post:

Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

AREA 55 NEWS YOU CAN TAKE TO THE BANK!!!!!!

Salutations 55ers!

Tonight is Toronto Tuesday and the Raptors, reptilian invaders from The Great White North, slither into the warm confines of BLF to test their scaly mettle against our Pacers. If their presence engenders a vague sense of déjà vu in the back roads of your alcohol-poisoned minds, do not be taken aback. We’ve seen these guys before. Back around Halloween we nipped them at home 90-88. That game was won, you’ll recall, by the Pacers going on a 16-4 fourth quarter run that culminated in a George Hill 5-foot floater at the buzzer. That softie was enough to provide the narrowest of winning margins.

The Raptors, like the predatory carnivores they are, present themselves tonight as forlorn 1-6 bottom feeders in the Atlantic. Given their rotten record and the closeness of how things were in Toronto, they will likely be arriving fairly confident and certainly thirsty for a win. Sadly, we can’t take them lightly.

In our first game, their guard, Kyle Lowry, drove us crazy. He exploded for 21 points, 8 assists and 5 steals. Worse, we let their Italian forward, Andrea Bargnani, post 16 points and their rookie center, Jonas Valanciunas, get a double-double -- 12 points and 10 rebounds. The first game was extremely up-tempo for both teams and we had a lot of trouble corralling them until our defense finally went into lockdown mode in the 4th.

As usual, we need to bring it tonight, fellow reprobates. Tonight let’s have no reprise of “Jurassic Park.”

PTO! There was a power turnout at Saturday’s pre-game PTO. Buoyed by unseasonably warm weather, Area 55’s Women Wrestling Champ El Pacero was the highlight as he arrived in style, piloting his newly repainted and refurbished, custom, Blue and Gold AMC Pacer. His coming brought rightful pause to the revelry. While PTO members possessed of more plebian chariots watched, slack-jawed and gaping, Pacero entered and then expertly orbited the PTO parking area several times. When he finally slid into a safe parking spot (one where no carelessly opened doors would dent or otherwise mar the racing sheen of his vehicle’s sharp exterior), he immediately opened his AMC’s hood, allowing amazed bystanders a not-to-be-missed listen to the catlike purr of its well-tuned engine. His engineer, Kyle Brumback (a man in many ways responsible for the AMC’s current running condition), was also on hand and took pains to point out to auto buffs the car’s state-of-the-art Jeep + Plastic PVC pipe gerry-rigged customized carburetor. Even better, the mechanically-challenged (which included yours truly) were permitted to fill their nostrils with lugubrious scents emanating from the engine’s oil-guzzling moving parts. Personally speaking, I also had to blink my eyes in rapture at the Pacer’s spanking-new chrome rims (which Pacero, rumor has it, supposedly installed himself). When and if Pacero ever manages to stick the rest of the missing chrome trim on it, that Pacer of his will certainly be worth some coin! At least the price of the chrome trim, at any rate!

Yup, I can only say it was a marvelous spectacle to behold! After viewing his vehicle, everyone present walked away exceedingly jealous. As the owner of a car like that, it was readily apparent how Pacero manages to get his gloved hands on so many hot women!

And speaking of Pacero’s effect on women, the whole thing proved to be too much for female PTO attendee and racing junkie, Mandy Dicks. Overcome either with lust or beer, a paralyzed crowd watched in awe as she made an impulsive stealth attack on the lower portions Pacero’s outer attire. Wrenching his unbelted pants downward, Mandy’s maneuver exposed one of Pacero’s darkest secrets – i.e., the hot-pink underwear he sports beneath his costumed luchador exterior.

Pacero’s depantsing was so well received that PTO President Aaron “Brickyard” Coleman is reportedly considering making it a standard part of all PTO game days.

I should also add here that Ericka Harris provided the hungry with tasty bowls of her homemade chili (which was consumed by ravenous members in a manner and frenzy that was reminiscent of nothing less than many of the episodes we've all seen while watching The Discovery Channel during Shark Week).

Tonight, of course, the PTO reconvenes at 5:00 P.M. or so in the mammoth $5.00 lot at South & Penn opposite Arby’s. If you like Fellini movies, you might wish to attend.

Other Stuff: Area 55 and G2 Zone both got indirect kudos after the Wizards game from Pacers reserve guard, Ben Hansbrough. Ben tweeted thusly about the general BLF noise level:

“Ben Hansbrough ‏@bhans23
Big win for us tonight! Thanks for all the support Indy you guys were big for us tonight #pacernation”

Reviews were not completely positive. Both Area 55 and G2Zone did get critiqued a bit by some on Twitter for apparently cheering or chanting during the “Indiana Hero” award portion of the pre-game. Personally, I don’t remember doing this, but in the future, I guess, we all should try to be more circumspect.

A New Nick for Tyler Hansbrough? I’ve been advised that Tyler Hansbrough doesn’t particularly care for his nick, “Psycho T”. This sobriquet was placed on him during his North Carolina days and it’s followed him to Indianapolis. I guess Tyler inwardly fears being mistaken for a Hitchcockian slasher or axe-murderer.

So what SHOULD we call him? I have it on further good authority that he would prefer, instead, being referred to, at least occasionally in our chanting, as “Gucci”.

Why does Tyler wish to be likened to an elite Italian shoe company? Well, this “Gucci” nick was apparently also occasionally employed for him at NC basketball games by some of the student body. Supposedly, his on-campus dressing habits were nothing one would find within the pages of GQ Magazine and he was generally considered the worst-dressed guy on his North Carolina team. Hence “Gucci”.

Anyway, Tyler unburdened his negative feelings concerning his “Psycho T” nick (and his preference for “Gucci”) to G2Zoner Bill Manlove and Area 55 member, Barb Somes, in an uncharacteristically long chat (for Tyler, at least) that they had with him at a recent airport arrival. So, be aware. Maybe an occasional GUUUUUUUUUUUUUCI! chant when Tyler hits a FT would make him happy and feel less psychotic. Let’s do it!

Critical Critiques: Fighting Jon LaFollette’s Halftime Reviews!

Hey, something new to the august pages of the Area 55 Newsletter!

Jon R. LaFollette (who can usually be found Twittering away at: @JonFilet) is a second-year Area 55 member and recent graduate of the IU School of Journalism. Besides currently running a music criticism blog, his resume also includes a terrific cover piece on Roy that appeared in NUVO and, more recently, a blurb on the Pacers in Indianapolis Monthly.

Possessed of writing and analytical skills beyond those of the typical Area 55 denizen, Jon, at my urging, has reluctantly agreed to help elevate the tone of this Newsletter. Henceforth, he will manfully keep his *** glued to his seat during all BLF halftime shows and, afterwards, provide us with belated, but incisive, reviews of everything the rest of us (owing to our having to leave to replenish our beers) may have missed.

Accordingly, Funseekers, from now on when halftime arrives at BLF you may abandon your seats without nagging pangs of regret. No longer will your alcoholism cause you to miss out on the halftime pomp and pageantry. While you’re gone, our man, Jon, will still be inside serving as your vicarious proxy. As Jon puts it: “I won’t be leaving, so you can.”

The sacrifice which Jon made for you lowlifes on Saturday is reflected in his noble inaugural effort. As you will see, we totally blew it by leaving. Our reviewer, Jon, gives an emphatic "thumbs up" to the animalistic Vets' Day entertainment you callously elected to miss at the Wizards game:

Canine Tony and his Kennel of Frisbee-Loving Dogs Reviewed!

To witness the Frisbee flinging flair of Saturday's halftime show at Bankers Life Fieldhouse was to experience a fitting tribute to Veterans of all generations! On the weekend of Armistice Day, patriotic pooches clad in scarves bearing the Stars and Stripes, yipped and skipped about as their mustachioed master (dressed for the month of Mo-vember), tossed multicolored plastic toys merrily across and over the hardwood. Their performance was slick and well executed, although all three dogs occasionally missed their targets (most assuredly distracted by Boomer and/or one of the eye-catching Pacemates!). Still, given the flag-toting nature of the holiday, and mindful of Lincoln's historic reference to Frisbee Dogs in his immortal Gettysburg Address (Abe was a HUGE Frisbee dog fan apparently), it would take the most cynical and unpatriotic of bigots to not be heart-warmed by Canine Tony’s fluffy, eager-to-please entertainers. Here's hoping they got a biscuit! Hell, give 'em two! GRADE: B+

Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

WORD UP FROM THE ZONE!!

Goooood morning G2Zone!

I don't know about everyone, but I felt a whole lot better about our Pacers pulling out the much-needed W on Saturday night against Washington to put an end to last week's wretched string of losses and heartbreaks. More importantly, I started to see glimpses that the Pacers are waking up on offense, Tyler Hansbrough is playing much like he did in his second season in Indiana and that Lance Stephenson should be making a case for Most Improved Player with his start to the season, but we cannot rest on our laurels as the NBA's sole Canadian team makes one of their many trips south to the border to pay a visit to Indiana.....

The Sandman Scouting Report: The Toronto Raptors

Toronto enters our hallowed Fieldhouse looking for some revenge against Indiana for spoiling their opening night party on Halloween when George Hill hit that last second tear drop to seal the game, and to be honest, I don't think they've recovered, as they entered Monday night's home game against Utah at 1 - 5 before losing in an exhausting triple overtime showdown 140 - 133. Apparently, both teams had an allergic reaction to defense. Personally, I think part of their woes involve that god awful optical illusion behind the baskets (seriously, does anyone else get dizzy looking at those 3d sandwich boards?), but a more educated basketball analyst would put out that the Raptors have been hit hard by the injury bug early on, with starters Kyle Lowry (18.3 PPG) battling a sprained ankle, Alan Anderson battling a sprained foot and big free agent acquistion Landry Fields dealing with a sore wrist on his way to the worst start of his career with a 21% shooting percentage. None of these guys played last night. However, the Raptors still have DeMar DeRozan (18 PPG, 37 points last night), Andrea Bargnani (17.2 PPG) and young rookie Jonas Valanciunas (don't ask me how to pronounce that), who has been leading the Raptors in offensive boards with 3 per game.
Got a question for Born Ready?

Bornready6.com webmaster Zach "LANCE STEPHENSON FOR PRESIDENT" Brown is still looking to gather a huge list of questions for "Born Ready" for a Q+A session on the site, so if you've got a question you've always wanted to ask Lance, now is your chance! Email any of them you'd like to see answered to redfoster@gmail.com .

Gucchi?

Speaking of Tyler, he has made a request that we move away from the "Psycho T" chants and towards using "GUCCCCHI" instead. I'm not exactly sure how to spell it, but from a conversation a small band of G2 Zoners had with Tyler out of the airport when the team came in from a preseason game last month, we learned it was what his UNC teammates used to call him because he was the worst dressed player on the team. Now, I don't think "Psycho T" should go away for good, but maybe save it for moments like that 45 second stretch where Tyler almost singlehandedly turned the momentum towards the Pacers late in the game on Saturday night. But in most other situations, GUCCCHI UP!

Shirts Info

For those who either missed Saturday's game or got a shirt that is the wrong size, please talk to Zac from the Pacers. He can be reached via email at intern-websites@pacers.com, please make sure to address the email to him.

Southside Explosion Relief

As we are all aware, the southeast side of Indianapolis was rocked by a massive explosion shortly after the Pacers game Saturday night. An effort is underway to partner with Area 55 to put together a donation drive for those who were displaced, hopefully for Friday night's game against Dallas. Stay tuned for further news on that.

PTO!

Remember that PTO is going down in a parking lot around the Pennsylvania/South street stoplight, usually in a lot that is cheaper to park in than in the Virginia Ave garage. Look for the band of people milling around in blue and gold around 5 to 5:30. Bring some beer to share with the over 21 crowd, and the PTO regulars will love you for life!

GO PACERS!

"Nobody wants to play against Tyler Hansbrough NO BODY!" ~ Frank Vogel

"And David put his hand in the bag and took out a stone and slung it. And it struck the Philistine on the head and he fell to the ground. Amen. "
Want your own "Just Say No to Kamen" from @mkroeger pic? http://twitpic.com/a3hmca

The Following User Says Thank You to Sandman21 For This Useful Post:

Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

AREA 55 NEWS YOU CAN TAKE TO THE BANK!!!!!!

Greetings, 55ers!

Friday breaks clear and cold. As I fumble to the front door to pick up the copy of the Star that the newsie left, crows (Celtic portents of death!) inhabit the tree in my front yard. They caw at me raucously, like a passel of irritated ESPN sports pundits, nattering at me in bird-talk about tonight’s upcoming struggle. I open the sports page of the Star to find that Mike Wells’ game-day feature isn’t exactly buoying. Today, his byline presents me with the viewpoints of anonymous NBA scouts, all sharing their learned (and sometimes conflicting) insights on just why it is that our (3-6) Pacers haven’t been exactly tearing up the league. I read the article.

Frank Vogel is too predictable, they say. He keeps running the same elementary plays over and over again and opposing teams are onto him. Nobody’s been able to replace the missing Danny Granger; we can’t pass; and we play too much one-on-one. Roy can’t cope with adversity and isn’t earning his money (the latter being a little gig that Wells seems to take pleasure in inserting in every Star article he puts to print). For his part, David West is “too unselfish” and, hence, is incapable of putting up 25 points a night. Paul George, they say, is an overrated disappointment. D. J. Augustine lacks motivation, plays carelessly, and doesn’t display the same flair and determination he had at Charlotte. Gerald Green is an airhead, good only for an occasional dramatic stuff, and but not much good for anything else. Our bench, they say, lacks the grit and wild intensity that last year’s Goon Squad featured. The gist of it all? The Pacers just aren’t any good.

I sigh, and ponder for a couple of seconds the merits of just returning to bed.

But I rally and remember!

I’ve experienced these kinds of dark stretches before. And the nice thing about them is that they always end. And generally when that end comes it is sudden, unexpected and happy. I’ve got a funny feeling that end might start tonight.

The Pacers, I submit, are a lot better than their record. Our biggest problem has been our shooting. Right now, we’re a league worst 39.8%. Against our most recent competition, Toronto and Milwaukee, it was a combined 34.8%. Watching Roy's and DW’s and PG’s shots skittering around the rim and then always dropping the wrong way has been painful. Seeing us go 5-20 from 3-point-land (like we did against the Bucks) isn’t very invigorating either. But shooting is a karmic thing. It isn’t always this bad. If you live right, the balance in the universe eventually returns.

Our foe tonight is 5-4 Dallas. The Mavs are a good team, but have been laboring a bit without their main stud, Dirk Nowitzky (who’s been recovering from – what else? – knee surgery). Another Big D mainstay, Shawn Marion, has been out too with strained knee ligaments (Knees again!). Their remaining active contingent will be kind of familiar to us. Darren Collison, Dahntay Jones, and Troy Murphy are all former Pacers - old friends from yesteryear. Their coach, Rick Carlisle, used to pilot the Pacers in days of yore.

Keys to this game involve our keeping Collison and O. J. Mayo under control. Our guys have to ramp up the defense on them and prevent them from entering the lane and creating defensive fouls on our bigs and other miscellaneous havoc. Roy and Ian have to keep tabs on Chris Kaman, an underrated big man that has a good outside shot. Lastly, we can’t allow perennial Pacers-killer, Vince Carter, to go off on us.

Defense will be key. If the D is there, we keep our turnovers under control, and we win the battle of the boards, we can beat the Mavs – assuming karma happens and our shots start to fall again. The Mavs turn the ball over a lot and like to spray from outside – sometimes to ill effect. We can beat them if we play them the right way.

Familiarity, they say, breeds contempt. I like our chances. We know these guys. What’s more, we’ve beaten Dallas 4 out of the last 5 times we’ve played. The last time we met – back in February of last season – PG torched them for 30 and DW went for 20 on 9-11 shooting. A reprise of something like those performances might be just the tonic our guys need to get our skewed shooting back into an ambit of respectability.

PTO! Turnout was good at the last meeting of the Pacers Tailgating Organization. The November cold was no barrier to the merriment. VP and GM, Casey O’Brien saw to that, showing up with a fire pit, logs, and a purloined copy of the Yellow Pages to encourage the flames. As usual, O’Brien (a convicted arsonist) wowed the crowd, displaying the same pyrotechnic skills that earned him those long prison stretches in Michigan City.

The only discouraging words at the PTO came from the blusih-tinged lips of Lebanese member Hobert (that’s “Hobert” with an “E”) Montgomery, who, expecting continued unseasonably warm temperatures, appeared wearing his customary thin, unlined black jacket. Challenged by the cold, he soon spasmed into hypothermic shock.

Hobert ascribed his chills to a lack of “Old Granddad” at the PTO. This comment says a great deal not only about Hobert’s sense of reality, but also his questionable taste in whiskey. Happily, he later managed to purchase a nifty knitted Pacers chapeau at the BLF Gift Shoppe. This buy served to restore Hobert’s lagging body temperature and, additionally, his normally upbeat demeanor. It also caused him to strongly resemble a grinning Peruvian alpaca herder.

The PTO will undoubtedly reconvene tonight at around 5:00 PM at the Big $5.00 Lot across from Arby’s at Penn & South. There’ll be fun and games aplenty and, who knows? Maybe someone will bring some old Old Granddad too!

NOW FOR SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT THE MAVERICKS!!!

What the Hell’s a Maverick, Anyway? Well, for this we need appropriate mood music:

In the mid-1800s, a gentleman by the name of Samuel Augustus Maverick settled in Texas with the goal of becoming a cattle rancher. By tradition, ranchers at that time branded their cattle with various markings to make them easy to identify. Sam Maverick refused to do this. Some people have suggested that he was simply lazy, but the real explanation was probably commercial in nature. Maverick knew that, by convention, unbranded cattle belonged to whomever managed to claim them first. Using his political clout, Maverick made sure that any unbranded cattle that came his way were regarded as his. He could claim them because, after all, he was the only rancher around not to use brands. As a result, in or around 1867, Texas ranchers started calling unbranded cattle “mavericks.”

As the slang term “maverick” spread like tumbleweeds across the purple sage of the West, people also started using it in reference to freethinking individuals, meaning that such people were not “branded” with some kind of orthodoxy. The first written record of the use of the word “maverick” in this sense appeared in a San Francisco newspaper in 1886. There are still a lot of freethinkers in Frisco, by the way.

In pop culture, the term “maverick” has come to mean a “contrarian” or a “gambler." In my research I discovered that the word even has a special meaning in the game of poker. When you have a queen and a jack in the “pocket” (not your real pocket, you cheater!), you have a "maverick." How about that!

Want a peek at Samuel Maverick? Well, the link’s a little slow, but here he is!

So, are the Dallas Mavericks named after that canny, cattle-rustling entrepreneur Sam Maverick?

Or are they named after a bunch of unclaimed, unbranded cattle?

Or are they really named after a poker hand?

Nope. Nay to all of the above! The Dallas Mavericks actually got their name from a TV Western!

The “Mavericks” name was supposedly chosen by the local fans in 1980 in a “name the team” contest. From 4600 postcards received, the name “Maverick” beat out the also-rans of “Wranglers” and “Express.”

Significantly, actor James Garner, who played the namesake character in the famous TV western, happened to be a member of the ownership group. The owners were the only ones to examine all 4600 of the postcards and some disgruntled locals claimed that they engineered a “fixeroo” for Garner. We’ll never know, I guess.

I, for one, am glad that James Arness (TV’s Matt Dillon) wasn’t in the Dallas ownership group. Otherwise, today’s Mavericks might well have been named either the "Dallas Dillons" or worse, the "Dallas Gunsmoke". The latter would’ve been a name to cause NBA Commish David Stern (a guy always anxious to clean up the NBA’s violent image) a lot of sleepless nights.

Meet Champ the Horse and Mavs Man! Hey, like the Washington Wizards, the Mavs have not one, but two (Two-Ah!) official mascots!

One is “Champ the Horse.” Champ is a cutesy blue mockup of a familiar hooved mammalian quadruped.

Given Sam Maverick’s history, why Dallas elected to choose a cutesy horse for its mascot, and not a cutesy unbranded steer, is anybody’s guess. Maybe the Dallas management didn’t want a mascot that looked too bovine. After all, the Bulls already had a monopoly on that.

Dallas’ other mascot is “Mavs Man,” a sort of part-basketball, part human, muscled-up super hero that the Mav’s management uses for the all of the time-out trampoline dunking and tee-shirt throwing that constitutes mandatory fun at every NBA game . Actually the term “Mavs Men” might be better here, as there are apparently more than one of them.

Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

NOT ONE MENTION OF WHAT TONIGHT IS REALLY ABOUT?
Tonigh we get to do what Pacers fans have wanted to do for quite a long time and were never "morally" able to. Tonight my friends we get to booo, hisss, and scream at JOB!
Now some of you may say this is harrassment, but it is indeed our due diligence!

Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

NOT ONE MENTION OF WHAT TONIGHT IS REALLY ABOUT?
Tonigh we get to do what Pacers fans have wanted to do for quite a long time and were never "morally" able to. Tonight my friends we get to booo, hisss, and scream at JOB!
Now some of you may say this is harrassment, but it is indeed our due diligence!

The Following User Says Thank You to IndyHoya For This Useful Post:

Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

I concur with Kielbeze, and add that we also boo the human turnstile El Matador out of the building as well.

"Nobody wants to play against Tyler Hansbrough NO BODY!" ~ Frank Vogel

"And David put his hand in the bag and took out a stone and slung it. And it struck the Philistine on the head and he fell to the ground. Amen. "
Want your own "Just Say No to Kamen" from @mkroeger pic? http://twitpic.com/a3hmca

Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

AREA 55 NEWS YOU CAN TAKE TO THE BANK!!!!

Greetings, 55ers!

Tonight our (5-7 Pacers) try to bring more balance to their won-lost record by hosting those pestiferous social insects from the Big Easy, the (3-6) New Orleans Hornets. I submit that this will be an interesting (and potentially dangerous) game for our guys.

First, Us! Tonight’s game will be interesting because it will be something of test. We need to see if the Pacers can keep their mo going from Monday’s win against the Wizards. That win was heartening, as Roy and DW used it to break out of their slumps and basically dominate Washington’s Nene-less front line.

Roy’s performance (registered under the watchful eyes of his parents) was nothing less than stellar, His stat sheet featured 20 points, 12 rebounds, 3 assists and 4 blocked shots. In his 33 minutes of work, the Pacers were at their most efficient. Roy’s +/- was a whopping +21 while he was on the floor.

David West’s contribution was incredible too. He posted 30 points on 10-10 shooting and carried the team through crunch time after the Wizards managed to rally and make the final outcome a bit questionable.

Our bench, however, struggled big time in DC. They let the Wizards return from a big deficit and make a game of things at the end. It then took clutch work from our starters, and particularly David West, to pull the game out of the fire. A major question tonight, then, will be whether our bench can find a handle after two consecutive clueless outings against the Knicks and the Wizards.

Tonight’s game will also be dangerous -- both because of its pre-Thanksgiving timing and because of the nature of our hapless foes. Butterballs (that’s roast turkeys, my friends), and not basketballs, are apt to be uppermost in the Pacers minds tonight. Also, it’s also hard to get fired up playing teams like the Hornets, who occupy the cellar in the Southwest and are riding a 4 game losing streak. Our pesky foes, however, will be playing without the onus of any expectations and are thus apt to show up loose and hungry for a win.

Now Them! On paper, the Hornets are kind of confusing. There aren’t many stats to back up any assertions one can make about them. Well, check that. There’s this one: For the Hornets to win, points in the paint are crucial and without their rookie stud from Kentucky, Anthony (The Unibrow) Davis, in the lineup, the Hornets tend to struggle. Happily, the Unibrow is reportedly “questionable” for tonight’s game. If he’s really unavailable, the chances are good for Roy and DW reprising their recent mammoth performances in DC.

In their last game, played sans The Unibrow, the New York Knicks basically had their way with the Hornets, outscoring them in the paint 30-20. With Davis gone, the Hornets are left to rely mostly on Robin Lopez, the less gifted brother of the identical twin Lopez Gemini. Robin’s game has always been kind of soft. Without Davis there providing his customary 16 points, 8 rebounds and 2 blocks per game, the Hornets are more like Gnats and their reputed stings are pretty benign.

The Hornets do have a few decent lesser lights occupying other positions. For one, point guard Greivis Vasquez, has been a pleasant surprise, He’s been having a career year, averaging 8.9 assists per game, 3rd best in the league. Owing largely to him, the Hornets are 6th in the league in assists, up from 16th last season. There’s also small forward Al-Farouq Aminu, who has transformed into a solid contributor, averaging 12 points, 8 rebounds, 2 steals and 1 block per game. Finally, there’s former Orlando Magician, Ryan Anderson, who is the Hornets’ only 3-point threat. He’s averaging a career high 16.4 points and 8 rebounds per game. As usual, Indy native and former IU standout, Eric Gordon, is out with injuries. So it goes.

View the Pre-Game Shoot-Around! This just in from the Pacers Suits:

“As an Area 55 member, you are invited to attend a pre-game viewing of tonight’s shoot-around. During the pre-game event, you’ll get early access to Bankers Life Fieldhouse to watch Roy Hibbert and other Pacers players warm up before tonight’s game against the New Orleans Hornets.

To attend, you must have a ticket to tonight’s game in Area 55 (Section 101). Fans with a ticket in Area 55 should arrive to the Indiana University Health Entry Pavilion by 4:55pm. The meeting spot will be in the area near the 3-Bank Elevators by Guest Relations. Any fans with an Area 55 ticket at this time will be escorted to the pre-game viewing. If you show up past this time, then you will have to wait until doors open to enter the Fieldhouse. Unfortunately, we will not have multiple escorts for the pre-game viewing so get there early.

See you tonight!

-Area 55 Staff”

“Je M’appelle Ianni!” G2Zoner Bill Manlove tells me that Ian Mahinmi wouldn’t mind very much if we called him “Ianni” (pronounced Yaaannnneeee! - with a lot of stress on the “eeeee” part). It’s OK by me. Let’s do it. Although I like Area 55 MVP Kielbeze’s crooning, kazoo imitation, of the French National Anthem, La Marseillaise too.

Google is your friend. I actually found a kazoo version of this hallowed anthem. Listen to it and learn! Then you can add your mellifluous voices to Kielbeze’s when he gets all Frenchy and Revolutionary on us:

Also, if and when Ianni does something good on the court, let’s give him a loud “Ianni!” too.

NOW FOR SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT NEW ORLEANS!

Fear the Brow! As this rag goes to press, I confess to harboring pangs of regret about Anthony Davis’ “questionable” status tonight. Why? Well, if he played, then I could boast of having seen “The Unibrow” in action. I could tell my wife. I could tell my friends! Then I could die, truly a happy man, knowing that I have fulfilled my bucket list and seen all that is worth seeing in the goofy world of the NBA.

Why do I have this Unibrow fixation? Hard to say. I guess I just have it. And today, after reading this article, you’re going to know just as much as I do about unibrows (or monobrows, as they are also called).

Actually, what Anthony Davis has has a medical name. It’s called “synophris.” In some cultures, for example in India, this condition is viewed as an attractive quality, something true for men and women alike. An Indian woman with conjoined eyebrows is supposedly regarded as pure, virginal, and untouched by sin. In India for men, a monobrow is supposedly is a sign of virility. Different strokes for different folks!

Most Western societies find unibrows unappealing. There are sound reasons for this.

In olden times, particularly in Central Europe, a unibrow was a telltale sign that a person sporting one was probably a werewolf. Indeed, it is just this factoid that has always made me a tad suspicious of Anthony Davis. Personally, I’ve always thought that NBA Commish, David Stern, should look into this. Werewolves do NOT contribute to the family-fun atmosphere he’s been trying to create in the NBA! The NCAA should look into this too. John Calipari, at Kentucky, is certainly a person that would not be above recruiting a werewolf just to get an NCAA championship. Stripping Kentucky of its title due to lycanthropy wouldn’t bother me one bit!

At any rate, on Hornets power forward Anthony Davis, synophris manifests as an uninterrupted map-like line of demarcation – kind of a facial Korean 38th Parallel -- that is located just north of his nose. It serves to separate, in major fashion, the upper areas of his brow from the otherwise unremarkable features of his lower frontal physiognomy. It gives Davis a controversial and distracting face -- one that his proponents call, funny, unique and unforgettable. His detractors, like me, however, generally describe his monobrow as weird and definitely unearthly. Call me traditional, but monobrowed werewolves have never appealed to me.

Hell, I’d better just show you a picture of The Unibrow and you can form your own opinion:

It’s hard to say what strange genetic anomaly gave Anthony Davis his singular eyebrow. Whatever the cause, Davis has had synophris since he hit puberty. During his freshman year at Kentucky, his teammates exhorted him to take a razor to its middle part and get rid of it. Davis always resisted (Werewolves always do!).

Resisting proved to be a good move financially. Soon after Davis’ play as a Calipari freshman began making news, it became apparent that his furry browline would be a future profit center.
NCAA rules rightly prevented Davis from exploiting his unibrow's brand value while he was a so-called “non-pro” at Kentucky. Indeed, the school's athletic department kept a tight leash on merchandise celebrating the uncommon facial feature of its fabulous freshman. Jason Schlafer, Kentucky’s athletic department's marketing director, reportedly had to send out a lot of cease-and-desist letters and place a lot of phone calls to mercenary vendors who were eagerly "sprinting up to the line" to use Davis’s monobrow for their own venal and mercenary ends – ends that often infringed on Kentucky’s own more noble trademarks.

A sensitive man, Schlafer was also concerned that unlicensed T-shirts reading "Bow to the Brow" and "Brow Down" might offend Davis because they "highlighted what might be thought a negative feature." But he needn’t have worried. Anthony’s mom knew where the money was and soon began sporting a 'Fear the Brow' T-shirt of her own at all her son’s games. She also took to penciling in a unibrow on her face. I’m not surprised. The mother of a Satan-spawned werewolf, is capable of doing just about anything.

Anyway, when Anthony blew off his sophomore year at Kentucky and entered the NBA he was ready to cash in on his unibrow. He wasn’t about to get rid of it by this time:

"It changes none whatsoever when I'm in the NBA," he said. "I'm not going to change who I am. It's me."

This self-identity with his eyebrow prompted action. Once drafted by New Orleans, Davis immediately took out U.S. Trademark protection on all pictures of his facial hair. He also took out trademarks on the catch-phrases, “Fear the Brow!” and “Raise the Brow!” As he told CNBC at the time:

“I don’t want anyone to try to grow a unibrow because of me and then try to make money off of it. Me and my family decided to trademark it because it's very unique."

All this trademarking did not come without controversy. Reid Coffman, owner of the University of Kentucky’s apparel store, “Blue Zone,” claimed that he, and not Anthony, had created the “Fear the Brow” slogan and that he, and not Anthony, owned the rights to that trademark. Coffman reportedly said he’d be willing to sell his mark to Anthony … “for a high price.” Such is sports and materialism in America.

When asked if a razor company might pay him to shave his unibrow into two separate conventional parts, Davis was open to the general idea:

“I might have a commercial where I’m acting like I’m shaving it and then I’ll throw the razor down.”

While I am unaware of his unibrow’s sparking any generalized fashion emulation (after all, who would want to deliberately be mistaken for a werewolf) or any really serious money-making by others, its sheer existence has undeniably had a small, but growing, impact on other aspects of modern American life. Want some examples?

Graphic Art:http://tinyurl.com/awjw5bg (A portrait of Anthony (in which his Unibrow is prominently featured) that adoring Kentucky fans made, all by themselves, using only breakfast cereals.

Let’s end on this coda. We need to be loud and obnoxious tonight, 55ers. Let’s support our team and, in the process, express our scorn for unibrows and all the negativity and lycanthropy unibrows represent!

Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

AREA 55 NEWS YOU CAN TAKE TO THE BANK!!!!!

Salutations 55ers!

Tonight we play San Antonio at 8:00 P.M., people! It couldn’t come at a better time.

I say this because now maybe our guys have gotten their mojo back! The Pacers emerge from Wednesday’s overtime win on a definite upper. At 6-7, we’re now 2nd in the Central, just 1 ½ games behind Milwaukee.

Clearly, we seem to have turned a corner. Wednesday, Roy had a triple double, going for 10 points, 11 bounds, and swatting the Hornets 11 times. That ain’t bad! Even better, Paul George just went nuts, pumping in 9 threes – mostly from the corner and all of them coming either in a torrid second half or in overtime. PG wound up with a career high 37 points and, with all the 3s, managed to do something that even Reggie Miller never accomplished.

Actually, everyone seemed to play pretty well against the Hornets. There was a flow to the offense, the defense was stingy, and when it came down to the OT crunch, our guys performed. Upset-minded New Orleans was sent out of town buzzing (as Hornets are admittedly apt to do) and frustrated. Now, the big question: Can we continue this same kind of play tonight against the Spurs?

Maybe we can. But it won’t be easy.

The Spurs are 9-3. They come to Indy fresh off a 112-100 road pasting of the Celtics. Tony Parker, their Belgian-born import had 26 points. His teammate, Tim Duncan, thoroughly outplayed Kevin Garnett, registering 20 points and 15 boards. Rookie reserve center Tiago Splitter had a perfect game, going 7-7 from the field and 5-5 from the line. Overall, the Spurs shot 58% -- the highest percentage Boston has allowed an opponent since 2007. Spurs coach, George Popovich, a guy generally sparse with accolades, was particularly effusive in his post-game praise of Parker, touting his “aggressiveness” and calling his Boston effort a “complete performance.”

The Spurs are arguably the best team in the NBA. Duncan, a 16-year NBA vet, is currently playing as well as he’s ever played in his life – averaging 18.2 points a game and 10.4 boards. When he and Parker have it going - like they did against Boston - they usually win.

The Pacers are on a 10 game losing streak against the Spurs. When we last played, on November 5th, they destroyed us, coasting to a 101-79 win despite Parker only going 3-13 and scoring just 6 points. In that game, however, Roy was still mired in his offensive troubles. He netted just 2 points, going 1-7 from the floor, corralling just 5 rebounds, and turning the pill over 3 times. Tyler (“Gucci”) Hansbrough had his troubles too. Normally dependable, he went 1-7 from the line.

Even worse, in our last game, the Pacers allowed zipper-challenged Gary Neal (Who the hell is Gary Neal?) come off the bench and score 17 points on us. They also let DeJuan Blair register a 14-11 double double. It wasn’t a pretty thing to see.

Despite all this bad history, I still have kind of a good feeling about tonight. Why? Well, for starters, I’m an Area 55 member and that makes kind of me crazy to begin with. But as I sit here writing this, I’m feeling definitely crazier than usual. Maybe it’s because I’m still all mellowed-out from my Thanksgiving tryptophan. But it might be other drugs percolating in my system. In honor of the Spurs’ galloping holiday arrival to Indy, I’ve been chewing “locoweed” continuously since rising this morning. (Locoweed is datura stramonium, to you herbalists). The weed’s hallucinatory effects now have a strong grip on me and have caused me to feel that our Pacers are capable of damn near anything!

So, reality be damned! Tonight might just be the night we get this San Antonio monkey off our backs! I predict a win!

I should maybe add here that, for some reason, the screen I’m typing this on has all these multi-colored, moving psychedelic images of NBA Commish David Stern cavorting with Las Vegas showgirls on it. I think this, like my optimism about tonight, is a side effect of the datura stramonium.

Yaniv Shmukler Wants a San Antone Ticket! Anyone with an extra ticket tonight can unload it on Yaniv Shmukler. Yaniv emailed and states he is on the hunt. If you can oblige, he can be reached at yshmukle@umail.iu.edu Yaniv also tells me that it was he (and not Area 55 MVP Kielbeze, as previously reported) that came up with the idea of humming “The Marseillaise” after an Ian Mahinmi make. OK, Yaniv, I stand corrected! Now, go back to France!

Mike Huser Wants a Ride! Got an email from guitar-strumming A55 member Mike Huser issuing a plaintive request for a ride to tonight’s game. Huser supposedly lives somewhere in Fishers, I think. If you’re crazy enough to want to help him, you can reach him at Hoosier3060@gmail.com I don’t know if a ride home is a part of the deal or not. That’d really be pushing it.

PTO Tonight at Kilroy’s! A55 Member Justin Beck reportedly returns from the Australian wilds and will be viewing the game tonight in the happy bosom of BLF. Supposedly, PTO goes indoors to welcome him and also to avoid the plunging outdoor temperatures.

Accordingly, if you don’t see anyone shivering in the Pennsy/South Street lots at around 4:30 or 5:00 PM, its probably because the regular PTOers are all inside Kilroy’s and imbibing there.

Remember it’s Black Friday, people. The parking lots are apt to be full and downtown heavily trafficked. Plan accordingly.

The Piano Juggler Visits BLF! Jon LaFollette, Area 55 Newsletter’s halftime reviewer is, unfortunately, MIA as we go to press. He has left to me the arduous task of reviewing Wednesday night’s bit of halftime fun, the honky-tonk antics of Dan Menendez, The Famous Piano Juggler. Filling in for a master reviewer like LaFollette is difficult, but hell, someone has to do it! I’m hallucinating anyway, so what the hell, here’s a review:

In a welcome change from Zumba dancing, at Wednesday’s game the Pacers Suits treated BLF’s “thought we’d seen it all” halftime viewers to the piano-keyboard playing, juggling talents of the amazing Dan Menendez, a man who reputedly has devoted 30 years of his life to this dubious endeavor. On Wednesday, however, Menendez seemed almost disappointingly normal looking. I would have liked more spangled flash – a la Liberace.

Still, after first placing his keyboard (proudly emblazoned with his email address, pianojuggler.com) on the BLF hardwood floor, Menendez proceeded to amaze. He pulled out a bunch of eye-catching pink tennis balls and began using them to rhythmically plunk out a medley of favorite tunes – all effectuated by dropping his syncopated balls on his signature keyboard below. Slackjawed BLF music lovers (here I mean BLF ticketholders who hadn’t left to replenish their alcohol) were then treated to an eclectic musical compendium by the juggling Menendez.

Mendez started highbrow with a passable rendition of something or other that sounded classical (Beethoven maybe?). Seeing that this was wasted on the Hoosier masses, he quickly got more contemporary, first bouncing out a distinctively tinkly, rapid 5-ball version of The Music Box Dancer (which sent the crowd into spasms of delight and elicited much noisome clapping accompaniment). Led Zepplin’s Stairway to Heaven was in there (although I still like LZ’s original better). Then there was other stuff that I can’t remember. However, it was his bouncy finale -- When You Wish upon a Star -- that most moved the onlookers (and me among them). Hell, it would have brought a tear to even Jiminy Cricket’s eyes.

Some jaded Area 55ers (Tony Cobb, Rex Evans, and LaFollette among them) seemed annoyed that Menendez ignored their shouted requests for Freebird and Piano Man. Also, there was no examination post-performance of Menendez’s keyboard to determine if it was pre-programed or not. But these criticisms were minority views. Personally, I was pleased with Menendez, mostly because he did NOT play Sweet Caroline.

When all is said and done, Don Menendez, The Piano Juggler merits an A. folks. He was
better (if this is possible!) than the Veteran’s Day Frisbee Dogs and he was certainly more wholesome and less violent than the Korean Tae Kwan Do Academy!

NOW FOR SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT THE SAN ANTONIO SPURS!!!

It’s Just Bad Luck! The Spurs’ smooth-pated guard Gary Neal maybe holds the NBA title for weirdest sports injury. Recently, while attempting to zip up one of his pieces of luggage for a road trip to L.A., he screwed up and lacerated his shooting finger. Gary was matter-of-fact about it:

It’s bad luck, right? I was zipping up my bag, and I ripped it across the zipper and it just pulled the skin off. It was bad luck. Sometimes things happen.”

True. **** does happen. But you try to avoid **** happening.

Clearly, Gary needs to invest in luggage with less challenging zippers. Also, given his zippering difficulties, perhaps he should also consider purchasing some pants with button-up flies.

It’s a Vendetta! NBA ref Joey Crawford has a reputation for a quick whistle. And he has no love for Tim Duncan.

On April 15, 2007, Joey ejected Tim from a game for “laughing” while Tim was sitting in his seat on the Spurs bench. It was Tim’s second technical in the game and, at the time, the Spurs were playing their archrivals, the Dallas Mavericks. The ejection meant outsville for Tim and, with their best player gone, the Spurs went on to lose the game.

According to Tim, after Joey gave him his first conventional technical (which was awarded for Tim’s griping about one of Joey’s calls), Joey asked Tim if he “wanted to fight.” After the game, Joey told a pool of reporters that Tim deserved the ejection because he had been complaining the entire contest.

The ejection provoked a complaint to the NBA League Office from the Spurs.

Two days later, NBA Commish, David Stern (always even-handed), sprang into action. First, he suspended Crawford for the remainder of the 2006-07 NBA refereeing season. He also nixed him for the 2007 Playoffs. This ended 21 consecutive NBA Finals refereeing appearances for Joey.

Second, Stern fined Tim $25,000 for “verbal abuse of an official.” The League also warned Tim that any future repeat would result in an automatic ejection. As a result, Tim is now, apparently, restrained, by NBA fiat, from any further chuckling while sitting on the Spurs bench.

As for his action against Joey, Stern’s comment at the time was that Joey’s actions "failed to meet the standards of professionalism and game management we expect of NBA referees."

Joey later met with League refereeing-meister, Stu Jackson, to “discuss his future” in the NBA. However, Joey is a stubborn guy and no resolution was reached. Joey was reportedly unrepentant in his conversations with Jackson:

``I told him I would throw Duncan out again if he did what he did,'' Crawford said later in an e-mail, ``So if my employer does not think that was acceptable, then I have a problem.''

On September 17, 2007, the NBA announced Joey’s reinstatement. The Commish explained the reinstatement this way:

“Based on my meeting with Joey Crawford, his commitment to an ongoing counseling program and a favorable professional evaluation that was performed at my direction, I am satisfied that Joey understands the standards of game management and professionalism the NBA expects from him and that he will be able to conduct himself in accordance with those standards."

Stern said the league would have more discussions with Crawford ``to be sure he understands his responsibilities.''

Tim, who had 16 points and 7 rebounds in the game before he was ejected, said Crawford has a ``personal vendetta'' against him. Maybe so.

Sadly, Joey will not be on hand tonight when the Pacers do their reprise against the Spurs. Tonight’s refs will be Dan Crawford (no relation to Joey, unfortunately), Scott Bolnick, and John Goble.

Be loud tonight, 55ers. And try to wear Gold. Bill Manlove of the G2Zoners says G2Z will be in Blue and he wants us 2-toned. Okie Dokey?

Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

Let's keep our Hombre El Pacero in our thoughts tonight as he is venturing to Chicago to sit behind the Bulls bench.
If he does not make it home there will be an auction held at his place next week for some sweet Pacers Swag!

Re: The all new 2012/13 Area 55, G2 Zone & PTO thread....

Let's keep our Hombre El Pacero in our thoughts tonight as he is venturing to Chicago to sit behind the Bulls bench.
If he does not make it home there will be an auction held at his place next week for some sweet Pacers Swag!

So, let me make sure I'm clear - are we hoping for him to be safe or are we hoping to score some swag?

BillS

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Or throw in a first-round pick and flip it for a max-level point guard...

No, holiday alcohol is not the reason for my buoyancy. It’s the Pacers!

Tonight, our boys return to the friendly bosom of Bankers Life Fieldhouse fresh from a four game Western road trip and a one-night stopover in The City of the Big Shoulders (That’s Chicago, for you who don’t read Carl Sandburg). These protracted foreign jaunts are always fraught with danger. But this time, the storm was weathered.

The Pacers return home from the road after going 3-1 against some highly respectable competition. The Lakers, Kings, and Chicago each met us on their home floors and we left each of them dismayed and disappointed. Only a very good Golden State team resisted our mettle -- and that game was an anomaly (Let’s face it, Paul George going scoreless doesn’t happen all that often). Consequently, the Pacers now stand 9-9, tied with the Bucks (8-8) and the Bulls (8-8) for leadership in the Central Division.

Tonight we face the 8-10 Portland Trailblazers; Friday, Denver comes to town; and Sunday we hit the road again to take on Oklahoma City. No rest for the weary.

About Tonight’s Foe Portland arrives to play the last game of a 7-game road swing. They’re playing pretty well too. Two days after a double overtime118-117 win at Cleveland, they came back from 18 down and upended Charlotte in overtime 118-112. Portland’s got a formidable crew, featuring the likes of LaMarcus Aldridge, Nicolas Batum, Wesley Matthews and a rookie sensation we haven’t seen before named Damian Lillard. Aldridge, in particular, is always dangerous. He’s averaging 23+ points per game and 9+ rebounds. Our defense, among the NBA’s best, will be tested by Portland, particularly on the perimeter. Portland likes to chuck 3s.

Kudos Well-deserved pats on the back to Area 55 members Shelley Prickel and El Pacero for making the West Coast trek to cheer on the Pacers. Both caught some mentions in the Fox Midwest game telecasts. That’s devotion people.

Some Friendly Advice to Tyler Hansbrough Faithful readers of this Newsletter may remember that Tyler Hansbrough recently gave us to understand that our well-worn “Psycho T” chant for him was not one of his favorites. Tyler, you see, doesn’t want people thinking he’s psychotic. He indicated that he would prefer that his on-court efforts be rewarded with another chant -- “Guuuuuuuuuucci.” – that said nothing about his mental state.

Like “Psycho T”, the “Gucci” moniker was apparently another sarcastic term of endearment given Tyler by North Carolina students during his college days at Chapel Hill. It supposedly stemmed from his rather nondescript fashion habits. It is said that Tyler then had a reputation for being the worst-dressed of all the Tarheel B-Ballers then populating the UNC campus.
Wishing to accommodate Tyler, for the past few games Area 55 has attempted to do his requested “Gucci” chant. It has been performed, but without much notable success. Some members have grumbled that “Tyler doesn’t get to choose his nickname” and flat-out refused to do “Gucci.” Others, like me, have complied, but without much conviction. For me, anyway, chanting “Gucci” to reward Tyler’s regular bursts of frenzied on-court activity is just ---well, it’s just hard.

Happily, I have learned that even one of Tyler’s most loyal and diehard NC supporters has urged him to embrace – and not reject – his “Psycho T” brand. I give you the following “Open Letter to Tyler Hansbrough” posted by an anonymous UNC female graduate who goes by the Twitter handle of MissBumptious. Listen to Bumptious, Tyler! She has your best interests at heart!

“Tyler, Dumping “Psycho-T” Would Actually Mean You’re Crazy!
Don’t get me wrong. I know this is a done deal. Tyler Hansbrough has asked people to stop referring to him as Psycho-T and fans - even those fire-breathing lunatics in Area 55 - have agreed to respect that.

I don’t.

I can’t respect that, since it’s a silly decision that people who are paid to rep him should have talked him out of. And I say that as a longtime admirer of the boy, as many if not all of you are aware.

Some people have asked me why I hold this position so I’m putting it in writing. Plus, I’m drunk and also think I know everything about everything or, barring that, at least the worlds of marketing and PR., so here we go again. In self-defense, I will say that I’ve worked in marketing, communications and PR since roughly 1997. I do know a few things about a lot of things, for sure.

So here’s why “Psycho-T” is so perfect: it’s the ultimate differentiator. Take every player within 20 spots of Tyler on the ESPN 500 Best List and see what he’s got that they don’t. Yes, he’s white, but that’s irrelevant to this discussion.

The other thing is the ferocity. The fire-breathing crazyman who comes out there and blows the doors off every time. Winning or losing, he brings energy and passion and fire and, sorry, near nutjob-level intensity, and that’s what we love about him. That is his thing. That is what makes us scream when he walks onto the court. We love the effort, we love the dedication, and we love that he seems just a little bit out there.

There are hundreds of players in the NBA. I most love the one who might always surprise me.

Does this mean that I actually think Tyler is mentally ill? Hell, no! I don’t know the guy. The only person I’ve ever seen (jokingly) suggest that is his UNC roommate Bobby Frasor who, no doubt, has pictures that might make us wonder. But no, this isn’t about Tyler actually being crazy.

Y’know what it’s about? Effing t-shirts, Gomer! And mugs and posters and whatever-the-hell else marketers market and make money from! Does “Unusually Intense UNC Alum” look good on a t-shirt? Um, no. It’s all about Psycho-T - a quick, clean encapsulation of his differentiator that the little boys (and their money-spending parents) will love. It works, and it would work for him.”

NOW FOR SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT PORTLAND!

How the Trail Blazers Got Their Name! The Portland team has actually been known as the "Trail Blazers" throughout its history. Two weeks after being awarded an expansion franchise in 1970, the team’s management held a contest to select the name. Allegedly more than 10,000 entries were submitted. The most popular choice was "Pioneers", but that name was excluded from consideration as it was already used by sports teams at Portland's Lewis and Clark College. The name "Trail Blazers" received 172 entries, and it was selected as the name. Personally I would have gone with a collective name, like the Magic or the Jazz.

My choice would have been the “Portland Cement.” But I live in Indy and probably my vote would have been discounted for geographic reasons.

It’s The Jail Blazers! Although management has pretty much cleaned everything up, at one time – not too long ago – Portland’s NBA B-ball squad was a well-known haven for druggies, felons, and other assorted types of bad-boys and miscreants. There was Ruben Patterson, who was signed by the Blazers after having previously pled no contest to a felony sexual assault charge that required him to register as a sex offender. Then there was popular Lithuanian center Arvydas Sabonis, who after having a towel flung in his face by teammate Rashid Wallace, decided to leave the team. Rashid Wallace, Amare Stoudamire, and Qyntel Woods, were all cited for marijuana possession. Woods also blazed a trail for Michael Vick. Among his other convictions, he also pled guilty to first-degree animal abuse due to staging dog fights in his house. Some involved his own loyal pit bull, Hollywood. Both Hollywood and Woods' other pit bull, Sugar, were confiscated at the time of his arrest and Woods was given 80 hours of community service. As part of his plea agreement, he also had to donate $10,000 to the Oregon Humane Society.

There were other misadventures. Rashid Wallace was suspended for 7 games for threatening a referee. Zach Randolph and Ruben Patterson got in a fight during practice, after Randolph sucker punched Ruben in the eye, an injury which kept Patterson from making a meaningful contribution during the playoffs. Police answering a burglar alarm at Amare Stoudamire's house noticed a distinct marijuana smell, searched the premises, and then found a pound of cannabis located in a crawlspace. Happily, the search was later declared illegal and all charges in the matter were dropped. Guard Bonzi Wells endeared himself to Portland locals by famously telling Sports Illustrated in a 2002 interview:

"They [fans] really don't matter to us. They can boo us every day, but they're still going to ask for our autographs if they see us on the street."

Fan discontent thereafter soared and autograph requests dwindled. Despite the team continuing to post a winning record, attendance at the Rose Garden (yeah that’s where Portland plays) started to decline. In the summer of 2003, with attendance dwindling, the team going nowhere on the court, and saddled with an exorbitant payroll, its GM resigned.

The following year, 2004, was marked by more trouble. The team’s record plummeted to 27–55 record. The bankruptcy of the Oregon Arena corporation, which resulted in the Rose Garden being owned by a consortium of investment firms, further alienated the Portland fan base, as did an incident in which forward Darius Miles (himself African-American) called the coach, Maurice Cheeks, the “N” word. This incident was compounded by what many viewed as inadequate discipline for Miles, following revelation of a secret agreement between the team and Miles that refunded to Miles the amount of his original fine. Cheeks was then fired that season and then replaced on an interim basis by director of player-personnel, the Pacer’s own Kevin Pritchard. That summer the team hired Nate McMillan (who cleaned things up and then was rewarded for his efforts by being fired after the Pacers memorably beat Portland last year).

The following 2005–06 season wasn’t much better. The Blazers posted a league-worst 21–61 record, attendance was low, and the year was not free of player incidents. Miles, Patterson, Randolph, and Sebastian Telfair were all involved in either on-court bickering or off-court legal incidents. In addition, the team had a poor relationship with the management of the Rose Garden, frequently complaining of a "broken economic model". It was widely speculated by the end of that year that the team’s owner, Paul Allen, would sell the team. Indeed, the team was offered for sale that summer, with several groups expressing interest. However, Allen decided to stick it out, spend some money, and make some draft-day trades. He subsequently took the team off the market. From then on, things got better.

Ah well, enough arcane NBA lore. It’s time to go to press.

Let’s be extra loud and rowdy tonight, 55ers. Our guys deserve a well-deserved welcome home and a win tonight would put us over that .500 hump. Let’s get it done!