The Shiny Small Mammal Syndrome

Hmmm, the neighbor went camping, someone is not fond of the TSA, lots of dog and cat and Its-Monday-morning-and-I-need-coffee posts.

Anyhow,

Have you ever been…

Excuse me, I forgot to look at today’s “Shame Your Pet” calendar page. Just a minute.

“Hello, I’m a hole digging Jack-a** Russell!”

Too funny!

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, have you ever been distracted by something shiny?

Or a small mammal?

Speaking of shiny, my SUV used to be shiny. Today, it’s dirty. (Today is yesterday. It took me two days to write this post due to lack of focus.) It needs a bath. Too much dirt, dust, pollen, bird poop, and indescribable things from who-knows-what coats the paint. Blech.

I almost hit a squirrel with it the other day, but disaster was averted. I accidentally hit a squirrel once and felt horrible for weeks after. Thankfully, I’ve never come close to a bunny running across the road.

Enough of that.

Where was I?

I’m not sure, but my stomach is growling. Time for lunch. Back in 45 minutes.

Soooooo sorry. I ran to the store on my lunch break and when I came back, I had to actually eat my lunch, and then the phone rang and the mail came and my boss asked me a question, and…

Wow, look at it rain. We need that like a hole in the head.

Thankfully, time spent at the gym will distract from the flooding roadways. Actually, my aged muscles and trigger points will distract while I carry around a 35 pound plate and throw a 10 pound sand ball 75 times.

Where’s the heating pad? And food. Lots of food. I am hungry.

But first, I have to feed the critters, change my clothes, pick out clothes for the next day and check Facebook posts. I would have to water the patio plants, except that the rain…

Young Grey Squirrel and sandy rabbit

I am easily sidetracked with shiny things and thoughts that are like scampering bunnies and tree-climbing squirrels. It never ends. The mind constantly goes this way and that. Here and there. And everywhere. I wonder, some days, how I manage to focus. There are a bevy of thoughts that run through my mind daily, such as:

What should I wear today?

Why does short hair always look so horrid in the morning?

Do I need to shop for food today?

How can I stop my cat from annoying me at 4 am?

Will I have time to write something this week for Mary J Melange?

Where am I supposed to be tonight? Do I go directly to the gym or home?

I wonder when they will finish the bike trail? It would be so cool to bike to work without getting hit by a truck.

I wish the road construction was done.

Can we get more sunny days like today? We’ve had enough rain.

I need more coffee. And water. And bathroom breaks.

I love chocolate.

Thank goodness for Star Trek and Vulcans to wind down the day.

That’s just a sampling. I won’t bore you with 100 additional bullet points, especially the thoughts about naval fuzz and cat poop.

Speaking of which, I put my finger in cat poop this morning (which would be Tuesday in case you’ve lost track). I didn’t have my glasses on and I thought a stray piece of cat kibble made it onto the carpet. Until I tried to pick it up. Eww, eww, eww! Who ran off before they were finished? Huh? Eww!

Nevertheless…

Do you have the Shiny Small Mammal Syndrome? Are you easily distracted by daily thoughts or visions of sugar plums, new shoes, or the sports car you dream of owning one day? What kind of serious or crazy thoughts are in your head at this moment?

Ohmigosh, lunch is almost over. I have to put the fork down and get back to work. There’s a lot to do, much to think about, focus to attain.

Sorry. I just remembered I had to get in the shower before the boys get up or I lose my spot in the queue. As I was saying, I don’t really understand your reference to small furry animals. Surely it’s jus…..

Oh, sorry. I had a brilliant idea for something else to do in my maths lesson today so I just had to go do it quickly on the computer, print it out and laminate it. I bought a laminator on the weekend. I love a laminator. How come you can laminate 15 sheets without a problem when you’ve got all night but when you’re pressed for time, three out of seven sheets crumple and you have to do it again? Is that like some ineffable law of the universe or something? I don’t really understand how the universe works. Watching Doctor Who hasn’t helped at all. You’d think it would. I love Doctor Who. My favou…..

…rite Dr Who is David Tennant. Am I right? In regard to the laminator, it’s Murphy’s Law. Have you ever watched Law & Order? Nope, neither have I. Don’t care for courtroom drama. I prefer NCIS. More action. Did you know I named my cats after NCIS characters, except I got one of them wrong. Gibbs should have been DiNozo. I think he’s the one who was in a hurry this morning. Did I tell you about the poop I stuck my finger in? I washed my finger several times. Ewww. Anyhow, I have to eat because the gym made me hungry and I haven’t had enough car…

…bs. Spaghetti is good. What was I going to cook for dinner tonight? I hate cooking shows. Do you have Masterchef? Eldest Son is doing a Jamie Oliver cooking class. Not with JO himself. Just at one of his schools. It’s school holidays soon. I can’t wait. Waiting for the Doctor Who episodes too. David Tennant is NOT my favourite Doctor. I find him too weepy. Also he’s not my favourite because everybody else says he’s their favourite. I don’t like running with the crowd. I’m thinking of doing another trail run in October. It’s on the coast so that would be nice. Do you get to a beach much? Guess not, where you are. If I remember where Wisconsin is correctly. Hang on, I’ll just go check Google…

I’ve never really had the shark fear thing. My thing is the “is that a piece of seaweed or a sting ray???” fear thing. Oh, and being dumped by a wave and possibly drowning. Or getting caught in a rip and possibly drowning. Or…

This was fun. Instead of answering your question like a good blogger, I will pose one: were your ears burning today? Joanne Siscoe and I were at a kitchen gadget store and when we got to the recipe holder-upper things I said, Hey, that reminds me of MJ!

Ohmigosh, I love, love, love kitchen gadgets. Especially the ones you just have to have and when you get it home you use it once and then it sits in a drawer until you give it away to Goodwill. Along with the ugly purple paisley shirt. I love purple.

Ears burning? Nope. I think there’s a force field at the US/Canadian border that doesn’t allow thoughts to cross either way. Perhaps you can find a Vulcan to mind meld with you, travel across the border, and the mind meld with me. Wouldn’t that be great?

You and Joanne went to a kitchen gadget store together?? [starts jumping up and down] OH! I wanna go to a kitchen gadget store with you and Joanne!!! And M-J!!!! Oh! Oh!
My favourite useless gadget? A thing that makes ice cream cylinders.

Take this morning; I was having a shower when there was a knock on the door ‘Lottie, it’s urgent, I have a problem….’ I peered out from the shower and there was a puppy (baby Colin Snout type) in my friend’s arms ‘It was dumped in my garden over night. Please can you take care of him/her?)

So, the sum total of my day thus far has been a trip to the vets to get it de-flead, and wormed and trying to solve the mystery of where this poor dumped puppy came from. Right now I feel like a cross between Miss Marple and a zombie. Time for the wine! 😀

I will never understand who can dump a baby animal. It’s a living, breathing being, for pete’s sake. But don’t get me started on this, because I will be a vocal, shiny squirrel for the rest of the day. Good thing your friend found him and that Miss Lottie is on the case. Yes, have some wine. It’s good for puppy-saving, shiny zombies. Are you going to keep him?