I think you were right about the water thing, because they're definitely under the dishwasher by the dozens... and this is how I found out.

So I just got done feeding Gucci, right? And by some freak coincidence, she got a piece of her food really wet and then hurled it to the side without noticing or scarfing it up afterward. It landed on the floor halfway betwee the dog bowl and the dishwasher. I didn't notice, I was editing for class. I got up to get a glass of water and there was a river of ants going back to this lump of disowned dogfood and then streaming under the linolium right beneath the dishwasher.

I panicked. I grabbed the grapefruit-scented, all-purpose, hard-core, mega-acid, melt-your-eyes-out cleanser and soaked the area and the entrance to their den. I then cleaned up their little carcasses with a paper towel and flushed them down the toilet just to be sure.

Man, whatever happened to live and let live?

Also, bad news. These ants? These ants are little red ants. I'm going to the hardware store in a couple of minutes and I'm gonna get some death pellets. Don't worry, I'll make sure to keep the beagle out of the kitchen during this time.