Confusion

I can’t seem to work out what it is I’d really like to do job wise. Where it is I’d really like to live. What it is that would help bring more happiness, contentment, joy, laughter, fufillment to my life.

I’m not looking for a magic fix. I know life isn’t perfect. I know the journey can be as important as wherever it is we think we’re headed. But when it doesn’t feel like you’re headed anywhere, that’s pretty damn discouraging.

Friendships seem to be in flux. Distance, time, geography, stage of life, and such things seem to have placed me at a distance from those I was once close to.

One in particular continues to puzzle and confuse me. We were so close just a couple years ago. He spoke about the importance of vulnerability, openness & honesty. We shared painful things, scary things, and seemed to make a deep connection. Yet since then, he’s pushed me away, shut me out, refused to let me very far into his life. I find it hard not to be hurt.

I know friendships come & go. Doesn’t make it easier to feel the lack of any close ones.