dreaming of sleep

I am stuck here a victim of my own thoughts. Searching my mind for the best and most reliable method of suicide. Wishing I could sleep to escape for just a bit. Funny thing is at the same time I refuse to sleep. I'm on a short path to self destruction. I can't really eat, my stomach isn't really tolerant of food. Nerves I guess. There is nothing left for me here. The only reason not to end my pain is the pain it will cause. How long can I sit in pain to spare others theirs? I don't think it will be long.

You are right hun you need to get out of the pain but not by leaving ok you need to talk to someone anyone who can give you support you deserve to heal
talk to a therapist your doctor crisis but talk it helps Coming here reaching out to others you will soon see you are not alone ok There is help for you hun reach out ok and get it hugs

Chadaho, i understand. Sleep gives me the best relief, but it can be hard to come by. I usually lie awake in bed for hours. And then you can imagine where my thoughts take me. But when I am able to keep my busy with other things, it helps. I hope you can find something to concentrate on that will bring you some relief. You deserve it.

I am getting help. Waiting for a counselor appointment. I am finally on meds. Problem is they don't fix the problems. They pile up faster than I can deal with them. I'm buried. I'm overwhelmed. I'm failing at life. I failed everyone who mattered and now I'm alone. To die may bring them pain but I am convinced that in the long run they'd be better off.

Nobody would be better off if you died. I think I remember reading in one of your previous posts that you have kids. If they lost their dad to suicide, it's something they'd never recover from, that pain would never ease. So if you can keep holding on, keep going for them, in time you may find other reasons to want to live. You just need that one reason right now, that one thing to hold onto.