Who the f*ck do you think you are KC Montero!?!

Dear KC Montero asshole,

It seems only yesterday when we last spoke, but it has been a few months. Remember me? My name is Nikki, I’m from Cebu. I messaged you on FB once and offered to give you a free sensual massage. I gave you my number but you never texted me. You gave me a call instead and then hung up on me.

A few weeks after you rudely hung up on me while I was starting to get aroused, one of my friends in Manila told me that the conversation you had with me was heard by your listeners because we were on air. This hurts me a lot. First, you tease me by pretending to be interested in my sensual massage offer. Then you hung (no pun intended) up on me, and to top it all off, you embarrassed me on air!!!!

I am now rescinding my free sensual massage offer because you hurt me. You had me doubting my skills as a sensual massage expert. Are Skratchmark’s hands softer than mine? You will never know because I will no longer give you a free sensual massage. You have to pay me now if you want a sensual massage. I am the best! I have tourist clients who pay me P2500 per hour and P3000 for extra service. I even let them touch my butt if they’re nice.

And another thing: How dare you question my womanhood! My name is Nikki, not Nicholas! I may not be as pretty as your co-host Kat Alano, but my voice is definitely lower than hers. My skin may not be as fair, but I bet I have smoother skin because I shave everyday! You really hurt my feelings. You no longer arouse me, so don’t expect me to be as wild as I am with my favorite clients like WR (his initials, he’s high profile) when I give you a sensual massage. It’s not a question of “if you want me to give you a sensual massage.” It’s a matter of WHEN because I know you want me to.

Never question my sexuality ever again! I’m not gay. You should know who the real gay people are, like your fellow castaway in Survivor who used to cry a lot whose name I don’t remember. The one who’s not taller than you. He’s a gay.

I hope you become a better person and let me give you a sensual massage for a fee. This is the only way I can forgive you. I will give you a discount because I am a nice person. Call or text me. You know you want to.