'peanuts' Tagged Entries

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In 1973, Neal and George co-founded the DHARMA initiative (yeah, those Lost guys got the idea from us), in an effort to prevent the pending apocalypse. Also, to make peanut butter that won't stick to the roof of your mouth. Unfortunately, there are those who oppose such a peanut butter, and we have been at war with those Hostiles (or "Jiffys" as we also call them) ever since. We called the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and asked them to hold off for a while. Since they too like peanut butter that doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth they agreed to wait until we have perfected our recipe. We've since stopped research on peanut butter, but don't tell the Horsemen.

Famine got lucky this time with a PB&J sandwich. Too bad Pestilence had already handled it and contaminated it with salmonella.

In 1950 George created a comic strip about a short bald kid that everyone picked on. The strip competed closely with another very similar comic strip for decades. Each week George would come up with a great idea only to have it copied almost exactly by the other strip the following week. For some reason that other strip gained fame and notoriety and George's strip never left the pages of some obscure publications. So remember, Sam Tan and his pals were the original Pistachio Kids and that rag-tag Peanuts gang was just a bunch of copy cats. Neal also started a comic strip about a feisty cat named Garfcliff in 1970, but due to mismanagement Neal was forced by the government to divide up his strip and sell off the separate components, thus resulting in two successful comic strips. Garfield and Heathcliff fared much better without Neal's guidance.

In 1974 George and Neal prevented a hostile takeover of the US by an army of chainsaw wielding raccoons. We did this by training squirrels to use nail guns to take out the raccoons. Unfortunately the squirrels got too sure of themselves and started taking out peanut vendors at sporting events. George and Neal solved this problem by meeting with the squirrels without preconditions. They agreed to stop shooting peanut vendors if we agreed to lift economic sanctions against their home nation of Sciuridaetopia.

Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest game, "Grab George's Nutballs" (in which players were encouraged to fight other players in order to keep a ball filled entirely with peanuts), George was forced to sell his video game to the Nintendo Corporation in 1985 so that he could defend the lawsuits.

Undiscouraged by this setback, George teamed up with Neal to develop another video game, this time based upon Neal's chosen career in family law. After years of development, George and Neal are set to debut their game, Divorce Court Hero, in 2013.

In 1994 George and Neal prevented a hostile takeover of the US by an army of chainsaw wielding raccoons (yes, again). Luckily our nail gun firing squirrels that we trained in the 1974 incursion had multiplied (like rodents are prone to do) as had their arsenal. Because of George and Neal's diplomacy (and a few strategically placed peanut bribes) their nation of Sciuridaetopia sent their Sciuridaetopian National Independent Commando Killing Elite Reactionary Squirrel team (S.N.I.C.K.E.R.S.) to save us all from having to eat out of garbage cans and dip our food in water once again (although Neal does tend to enjoy his meals that way occasionally).

This raccoon stood no chance against the lightsaber wielding rodents...

In the early 2000's, George and Neal were hired by FOX studios to pitch movie ideas. Given their many adventures, you'd think they would have a wealth of ideas for hit movies. As it turns out, they did not. Instead, George and Neal decided to follow the example made by the immensely financially successful "Aliens Versus Predators (AVP)" (e.g. lazily combining two movie properties together rather than coming up with actual cogent ideas). Neal and George started combining movie properties in hopes of creating blockbusters. It worked - they made a fortune producing such memorable hits as "Horton Hears A Gremlin," "That was Then, This is Apocalypse Now!", "The Wizard of Blade Runner", and "Aliens versus Peanuts". Thereafter, they tried to branch out into making other types of movies, but had little success. After creating "The Entirely Ending Story", they called it a day.

Though the movie holds an 86% on RottenTomatoes.com, the novelization is far superior, as it includes emotionally resonant subtext completely absent in the movie.

Photo by: Neal

The kids made fun of Linus constantly, but at least the Great Pumpkin didn't have two sets of teeth and an appetite for human flesh.

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The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.

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Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.

This site. The best. Bigly good. Those other sites? SAD. So sad. But George and Neal? I mean, trust me. I know good people. I know - I'm the best at knowing good people and you'd be amazed at what those guys can do. Fantastic job, you two.

Well, how about that! We got a comment from someone other than Clem or evil Bette. Thanks for your support Rich, we hope you're doing well, too. It's been a long time since we've talked, so we'll head back to 1998 and pay you a visit then. Bucket run?