Great news everyone! I went poopie!

I just wanted to stop by and say Hi to everyone that I’ve missed over the last couple of months.

It’s been a pretty rough year here at Moosehammer Industries.

I had been feeling pretty crappy ever since November of last year, and an unexpected attack of diverticulitis in January put me in the hospital. Spent over a month trying to get it to settle down and ended up going in for routine laproscopic surgery to remove a small section of colon.

Well, what was going to be a simple procedure turned into an all afternoon ordeal. Ended up having sections of both small and large intestine removed. Come to find out, I had a perforation at some point in the past that somehow healed itself, but left everything all icky and abcessed in my innards.

Everything seems to be healing fairly well now. I am officially pooping correctly now. It sounds strange, but if I had a dollar for every time someone has asked about my poop this year, I’d be able to buy myself a couple nice new Tshirts.

I’ve been informed by various nurses and medical folks that I was very luck to have survived the whole thing. Several of them have assured me that this is a sign that God has a purpose for me to fulfill.

I’ve always felt like I had a purpose. A personal one at least. But I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of saying a higher power has saved me for some greater purpose. That’s the type of shit I expect to hear from the mouths of fundamentalist presidential candidates and televangelists.

Only a twatwaffle of the highest order would dare presume to know the intentions of any God.

I’m just glad, and very thankful to be here.

On the other hand, this is my second time in two years to spend some quality time in Death’s neighborhood. So it has lead me to re-evaluate a few things. I find myself leaning toward taking even more chances than I had before.

I think I’m going to start doing some video blogs and save my writing for actual books and stuff.

I’m sorry for not letting everyone know what was up during my absence. It’s been hard for me to get around and get on the computer. I also wanted to avoid doing a public announcement. I didn’t want to cause a run on Moosehammer voodoo dolls by the neocon blogging community. I figured it would be best to keep my mojo unclogged and hex free. Ha ha ha!

It still takes a bit of effort for me to get at the computer and all, but I hope to be online more as the summer progresses. Thanks to everyone that sent me well wishes. I’ve missed you all a lot.

I am so glad to hear that you are doing better. Not a day had gone by that I didn’t think of you and how you were doing. Usually I have no interest in other peoples pooping stories, but for some reason I couldn’t be happier to hear yours. :P

As a theological determinist, I have some pretty strong feelings on the concept of God’s Plan, purpose in life, etc. Suffice to say it is two different things to say “God has a plan,” and “God’s plan is this and this and this, now go do them!” The former is a statement of philosophy, the latter is the presumptive twatwafflery you speak of.

Good to see you again, Moose, and I’m glad you are on the mend. Maybe this will solve all the ongoing medical issues? I can hope, right? Take care of yourself, my friend. I know I’ve been AWOL more often than not. I’ll try to do better with visiting you all here. Feel better!!!

I totally agree with you here… “Only a twatwaffle of the highest order would dare presume to know the intentions of any God.” Excellent!!!