FTFA: "She wants to do the right thing and she wants to do what is expected of her and she starts out generally, almost always, with a very good intention," he says. "But then something goes wrong, and then she just totally blows up and just screams and yells and curses.

"For example, I was walking in the park near my house and a muffin fell out of the air and landed upright on the path in front of me. And I just, my God, that was incredible! A muffin fell out of the sky! And what was even more amazing, it didn't bounce or anything. And it landed exactly in presentation, just exactly like a muffin right in front of me. And I just thought, 'That is the most amazing thing.' Well, I looked up and hunted around the tree and finally I found way up there was a blue jay that was looking over. He had obviously - a very strong blue jay - had stolen this thing somewhere or found it somewhere and was trying to eat it up in the tree and it had gotten away from him. ... Or he just decided, 'Let's see if I can hit this guy with the muffin.' And he missed. But no, I'll go back and describe that in minute detail. You never know what the one funny thing of that might be. But yeah, I have folders and folders of stuff ... that I'll just note, and, you know, sometimes things come of it, but often nothing does."

Muffin.

And also file under reasons "Warzy is not a parent" - I would be this woman.

WarszawaScream:"For example, I was walking in the park near my house and a muffin fell out of the air and landed upright on the path in front of me. And I just, my God, that was incredible! A muffin fell out of the sky! And what was even more amazing, it didn't bounce or anything. And it landed exactly in presentation, just exactly like a muffin right in front of me. And I just thought, 'That is the most amazing thing.' Well, I looked up and hunted around the tree and finally I found way up there was a blue jay that was looking over. He had obviously - a very strong blue jay - had stolen this thing somewhere or found it somewhere and was trying to eat it up in the tree and it had gotten away from him. ... Or he just decided, 'Let's see if I can hit this guy with the muffin.' And he missed. But no, I'll go back and describe that in minute detail. You never know what the one funny thing of that might be. But yeah, I have folders and folders of stuff ... that I'll just note, and, you know, sometimes things come of it, but often nothing does."

Muffin.

And also file under reasons "Warzy is not a parent" - I would be this woman.

For weeks after months after years, I would get up in the morning and fill the coffee carafe at the sink while looking out of the kitchen window. The window looked onto the neighbor's driveway, barn, and the kennel built out from the barn that housed their German Shepherd. Big dog. It could be found, variously, sleeping on top of his doghouse, Snoopy-style, or in a patch of sunlight. One day I went to the sink and there was a little Poodle-type dog in its place, sitting on top of the doghouse.

It was just so unexpected that it always struck me as completely bizarre and funny.

I found out later that relatives were visiting and the Shepherd was in the house while the visiting dog was put in the kennel.

Mandapants:For weeks after months after years, I would get up in the morning and fill the coffee carafe at the sink while looking out of the kitchen window. The window looked onto the neighbor's driveway, barn, and the kennel built out from the barn that housed their German Shepherd. Big dog. It could be found, variously, sleeping on top of his doghouse, Snoopy-style, or in a patch of sunlight. One day I went to the sink and there was a little Poodle-type dog in its place, sitting on top of the doghouse.

It was just so unexpected that it always struck me as completely bizarre and funny.

I found out later that relatives were visiting and the Shepherd was in the house while the visiting dog was put in the kennel.

Experiences like this are my favorite things. Maybe the Internet is to blame for my over-sensitivity to the "Random and Unexpected" aspects of life, but I laugh myself stupid at things like that. (Just yesterday I was looking for a birthday card and saw one, cover had a late 70's/early 80's photograph of a little girl, father, and little girl respectively. First little girl is holding a sign in crayon, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Dad's holding another "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Second little girl has a sign that says "I like corn on the cob." Open the card and it says "(Please disregard Stephanie.) Happy birthday!" I was in tears laughing in the aisle and I doubt anyone else would have been.)

WarszawaScream:Experiences like this are my favorite things. Maybe the Internet is to blame for my over-sensitivity to the "Random and Unexpected" aspects of life, but I laugh myself stupid at things like that. (Just yesterday I was looking for a birthday card and saw one, cover had a late 70's/early 80's photograph of a little girl, father, and little girl respectively. First little girl is holding a sign in crayon, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Dad's holding another "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Second little girl has a sign that says "I like corn on the cob." Open the card and it says "(Please disregard Stephanie.) Happy birthday!" I was in tears laughing in the aisle and I doubt anyone else would have been.)