Picking Your Perfect Login

Picking Your Perfect Login

Now that Xbox Live is up and running, many of you are going to find yourselves in the unenviable position of deciding on a Gamertag that will stick with you for a long time – a year at the very least. How do you pick a good one?

For me, it was a no-brainer. CandyMan. That’s been my nickname since preschool. Since then, my childhood moniker has been tarnished by a goofy song, a bad horror movie, an HBO forum impersonator and a child porn sting operation. When the latter of the four occurred, my wife suggested it was time to put the past behind me and find a new name. Yeroen echoed the same sentiment. However, it wasn’t until I unsuccessfully tried to register CandyMan with Xbox live that I finally threw up my hands and gave in. Since then, I’ve been on a laborious quest to find the perfect nick. Along the way, I’ve come across several techniques to find the perfect nick. Now that I’ve got mine, I’d like to pass these secrets on to you.

1. Mash the keyboard.Average grade: FExamples: dafsf, qser3, ‘lkhol;l Sure, if you lack imagination and don’t want to take the time to create a good pseudonym, you can just slam your fist on the keyboard and come up with such gems as dsfa, oj;I, 4wq5, and, my personal favorite: dasg’dsadfg. The problem is that anytime you want to re-type this name, you have to memorize your key-combo much like a locker combination. There’s just nothing memorable. I was in an online game last night with two teammates named ‘QQQQQQ’ and ‘4356 =nk=’. When I had to communicate with them through the voice communicator, I found myself at a loss what to quickly call them. Screw it. Your death, your problem.

2. Find something that looks cool.Average grade: D-(&&__&&), ####AOA!!!, $$()<>\/$$ Sure you love the way that ‘««¥@£°»»’ looks. You may even be able to impress chicks with your m4d 5killz and l33t knowledge of obscure ASCII characters. But the fact remains (as the artist formerly known as Prince has discovered, and, at the risk of sounding like Yoda) that a mere symbol does not a good name make.

3. Borrow a name from popular movie, novel, or game.Average grade: C-Gandalf, Wolverine, Spartan Okay, by a show of hands, how many of us left the theater after seeing the Matrix and thought about changing your handle to Neo, Morpheus or Trinity? Judging by the vast influx of Matrix names I saw online two years ago, I would venture that there are quite a few of you with your arms in the air right now. Sometimes you can find a good one from mainstream entertainment, but keep in mind, chances are that there are 500 other people out there using some derivative of the name “Master Chief.”

4. Borrow a name from myth, literature, or other less-mainstream sources.Average grade: BExamples: Cerberus, Falstaff, Punky Brewster Not any more difficult from the technique mentioned above, this one does require a larger wealth of cultural knowledge to pull off properly; being well-read helps quite a bit. The chance for duplicate identities is still a possibility, but much less likely depending on the popularity of your source. If the popularity of the name is in question, you should do some research. Scan the message boards, do a Google search, look for the name on an online gaming service or site like bungie.net. If it's comparatively rare, pounce on it and guard it well.

5. Splicing.Average grade: B+Examples: Tyranosaurustic, Dijonaise, Leproseaman, Tigon Take a word that you like and use the last few letters to start another. If you’ve ever watched Wheel of Fortune and seen a ‘before and after’ puzzle, it’s the same idea. They take two phrases and munge them together, like “pedestrian crossing Jordan.” Try this on a one-word basis. Take your word, look at the last few letters and see if that can start another word. If you have trouble, you can use a crossword puzzle helper like oneacross.com. If your word was Marksman, you could type man???? And see what words it produces. Let’s say you like manatee. Your name could end up being Marksmanatee - except you’d pick something less dorky than my simple example, right?

A less clever derivative of this is to just take the prefix of one word and slap on the suffix of another. For example bovine and dermis could form bovis or dervine. Simple, and pretty much guaranteed to be unique.

6. Disparate word combinationsAverage Grade: A-Examples: Epic Teflon, Jello Biafra, lung scepter If the above method diminishes the effectiveness of your word combinations by making it hard to pronounce or making the components indistinguishable, you could always opt for a two-word combination. Many bands/artists have used this technique. Think of the possibilities: Chattanooga torpor, tuber sunset, Burmese watermelon. Try three: sherpa tongue hostel. How about one word? Sure, if it’s not too common. Grab your dictionary and explore. Pay tribute to your friends in the world of connective tissue cells with "Fibroblast," or ancient torture methods with "Strappado." Tie your opponents' tongues (and stomachs) in knots with "Volvulus." When someone asks what your Gamertag means, you'll be able to say "Look it up." Who says you can't learn anything from playing videogames?

7. Fabricated namesAverage Grade: A-Examples: Achronos, Morosica, Thrunk Another technique is to fabricate a name. IF you’ve ever played scrabble and laid down a group of letters that you swear is a real word but Webster says it ain’t, you have a likely candidate. Doing this assures you are the only one in existence with that name. If it sounds cool, everyone is going to think it’s derived from something. We’ll just keep it our little secret.

8. A new twistAverage Grade: AExamples: King Fu, Jive Turtle, Puppy Glove Take a phrase or word and tweak it with a similar sounding replacement. Simple as that. For example, replace the fish in swordfish with fist: swordfist. This is not only pretty easy, but has a good impact, is memorable, and often gets a chuckle.

9. Spell-check and BabelfishAverage Grade: B-Examples: Candela, Ground of Cand, Candida Here’s one technique to try: take your name and put it through a spell-checker. Or, better yet, send it through babelfish translating it to French and then back into English. You’ll get some kind of derivative of your name, so it’s personalized, yet very unique.

10. Your real nameAverage Grade: D- to B+Examples: Matt, Jeff Smith, Moon Unit Well, when it all comes down to it, sometimes you can just go with your own name. Some of us are fortunate enough to get last names like ‘Butcher.’ Others get stuck with something lame like Candland.

Which brings me to my conclusion. After exhausting a lot of these techniques, I finally settled on a login using technique number 4. As a child of the ‘80s, I spent hours at the bowling alley, pumping quarters into my favorite shooter: Berzerk. For those of you unfamiliar with the game, you ran through a maze shooting at robots. You had to move quickly though; if you wasted too much time, a large, bouncing, and invincible smiley face would give chase until you were either out of the room or dead. Usually it was the latter. This remorseless foe, who killed frequently with a quiet demeanor and a smug grin, was named Evil Otto. After all was said and done, Evil Otto appealed to me the most. So it is with mixed feelings that I resign the name CandyMan to the masses of online gamers that still want it. Evil Otto lives!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas at Bungie. Our cavernous hideout, usually overrun by artists, coders, and designers, is slowly becoming a place of empty chairs and empty tables. Before our beloved partners in crime could flee the scene in favor of their respective family reunions, we gathered around the very last bundle of community interaction that will be seen this calendar year.

The past twelve months have been home to fascinating developments at Bungie. We are thankful. We’ve marched ever closer toward our fate. There is brilliant light at the end of the tunnel, dear community.

But that is a glorious conversation best saved for another time. For now, let’s look back instead of forward.

Let’s open the Sack.

Frag Ingot What do you consider to be your greatest accomplishment from this year?

I made it through...Ben Thompson, Engineer

I wrote lots of cool things for Bungie.next. Maybe DeeJ will tell you more about that soon.Tom Gioconda, Engineer

I started building a spaceship in my garage, entirely out of spare lawnmower parts.Dave Mongan, Senior Writer

Professionally, I built a new back end system that (if it works correctly) will make the online experience better for a significant portion of our playerbase, without them ever knowing it is there. Personally, I went on some awesome adventures with my wife this year and didn't get us both killed, or too horribly lost.Michael Williams, Engineer

Marriage!Robert Kehoe, BVT Tester

Creating the next generation of the internal tools for Bungie.Next. They ain’t pretty, but they get the job done. Alex Loret de Mola, Engineer

And, the following people on the Bungie Panel for this week counted their great fortune in landing a place on the roster of Team Bungie. This delegation represents only a fraction of the parade of noobs that stormed our front door to help us bring you a new game. Will Edgette, EngineerLeland Dantzler, TesterDoug Juno, ArtistDrew Smith, ProducerDavid Johnson, EngineerMike Shannon, Senior IT EngineerChris Owens, Test EngineerAndy Howell, Matchmaking Test Lead

Hylebos How is the Pentathlon shaping up?

As someone who has been honored with an invitation to serve on the Exalted Winter Pentathlon Committee, I'm one of the few people who can tell you that it’s shaping up quite nicely. Our competitors have been partitioned into four warring schools, with Captains assigned to lead each. Events have been chosen, with lieutenants designated to lead each school’s respective charge, and commissioners in place to enforce the rules of battle. As the games draw near, we'll treat you to the usual front-row seat, though I suspect the game I'm most anxious to play this year will be zealously guarded from your eyes.

Elem3nt 117 What is your New Year's Resolution?

I resolve to be a little bit more open and transparent with you. If that has you excited, please note that my track record for keeping these annual promises is less than impressive. Let’s see if my co-developers are more or less disciplined. What do you have planned for yourselves in 2013, Bungie Panel?

Decimate the competition in the Pentathlon or die trying.
Drew Smith, Producer

Draw more.
Doug Juno, Artist

Finish building that spaceship in my garage! Or, give up the ridiculous idea already and waste my free time more wisely.
Dave Mongan, Senior Writer

Write a book, plant a tree. I can already imagine blank pages and a bare yard.
Christian Diefenbach, Engineering Lead

Don’t get suckered into anymore of those crazy “End of the world” doomsday prophesies.
Ben Thompson, Engineer

Create more, consume less.
Michael Williams, Engineer

To finally fulfill my resolutions from the last 8 years.
Mike Shannon, Senior IT Engineer

I resolve to be better, stronger, faster.
Chris Owens, Test Engineer

To not make any more New Year’s Resolutions.
Alex Loret de Mola, Engineer

Be less tempted by Bungie’s free snacks. Who am I kidding?
Leland Dantzler, Tester

Ninja Blue Wolf Does Marty do lessons?

You mean music lessons? No. Marty does teach us a lesson from time to time, but they are more in the vein of knowing when to hold ‘em – and when to fold ‘em. If you don’t get the reference, that’s an old song about Poker, written by a gambling purveyor of Fried Chicken.

WestCoastRonin If you could remake any Christmas movie and give it a sci-fi setting, which movie would you choose and what would it be like?

I’m pitching a starside reboot of A Christmas Story. My hero, Ralphie_9.6, is an astroclone incepted on an off-world colony who dreams of owning a Red Ryder x-ray cannon. As part of his coming of age, he learns to face off against the Academy’s most dreaded bully. Comic relief ensues when he tricks his best friend into sticking his tongue to the cooling towers of the main reactor. For the grand finale, a hoard of feral tusk-wolves make off with the sandtrout that was prepared for the solstice feast of the seventh moon.

The joy of editing this feature is the chance to hoard the best and most obvious answer for one’s self. However, in the event that Hollywood rejects my screenplay, here are some alternatives from the Bungie Panel…

If you ask me, Rocky 4 is begging for a sci-fi remake. It’s got it all: Good versus evil; hi-tech versus old-school; national pride versus personal determination. Everything is on the line, and it all comes to a head on Christmas Day. Simply set it in an interstellar society, with humans versus aliens and… Ba-da-bing ba-da-boom! Instant, updated holiday classic.
Dave Mongan, Senior Writer

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is a cyborg sent back through time to Santa’s workshop (circa 1995) to protect Santa Claus. Sam the Snowborg is on a mission to kill him and alter the future so that Snowborgs rule over all mankind – and Christmas is permanently destroyed. To save the day, Santa and Rudolph must go to the Isle of Misfit Toys Asylum to rescue Mrs. Claus, who was arrested after encountering Rudolph in the prequel.
David Johnson, Engineer

It’s a Wonderful Star Trek Life. I know they kind of already did it in TNG. I guess I just want Star Trek for Christmas.
Andy Howell, Matchmaking Test Lead

As Life Day approaches on Tatooine, Emmet Otter and his Ma decide to compete in the Cantina's talent contest. Watch as they face corrupt Hutt judges, and challenge the Empire's most deadly musicians, "The Boba Fett Sarlacc Band". In the end they will learn the true meaning of Life Day, and the true power of the Force.
Michael Williams, Engineer

Mine is more based on a TV show than a movie. Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Doctor Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator - and vanished. He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that looked a lot like Santa, and driven by an unknown force to change Christmas for the better. His only guide on this journey is ELF, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so, Doctor Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to replace bad presents with amazing presents and hoping each time that his next leap… will be the leap home.
Chris Owens, Test Engineer

I have a visual of people opening their Christmas presents to find face hugger aliens inside.
Robert Kehoe, BVT Tester

The first two Die Hard movies could be convincingly set on an inter-planetary colony and a spaceport, respectively. The plot of the second movie even becomes more much plausible in a spaceport.
Tom Gioconda, Engineer

White Christmas. It’s the year 2196, and Lt. Commander Wallace is performing a holiday space symphony for our troops fighting against the mysterious arachnid alien species that has invaded our solar system. He finds himself caught in a web, and about to be eaten by said aliens, before Ensign Davis runs over in the nick of time and saves his life. Their friendship comes to a head years later when their old Fleet Admiral is discovered running a failed tourist vessel orbiting Jupiter. They decide to bring their interstellar cast and crew to revive his chances of success. The plot really doesn’t have to change much at all! I suppose one of their love interests could get vaporized by a stray phaser blast as they defend the tourist ship from space raiders.
Alex Loret de Mola, Engineer

Yeah, Alex. Because nothing gets people in the Christmas spirit faster than vaporizing love interests.

irishfreak Why won't you return my calls?

Mostly because, for the first time in the years (and years) since I left college and joined The Work Force, I don’t have a phone on my desk. That took some getting used to. I remember asking about this on my first day at Bungie. Urk answered my question with a question of his own. “Who would you call?” That stopped me in my tracks. Hello, Internet? It’s me, DeeJ.

EZcompany2ndsqd If Santa came down your chimney and you were awake what would you do?

I’d handcuff him to the gas starter, light a candle, and have a long chat about all those years I got ugly sweaters instead of the video games that had been released that season. Perhaps the Bungie Panel will be more forgiving than I…

See if he wanted to play some Farcry 3 coop.
Drew Smith, Producer

I would thank him for giving me a brand new fireplace.
David Johnson, Engineer

DarthCarrick If you could give the Community a present, what would it be?

An exciting new place to call home. Since such things cannot be wrapped, that gift will have to serve another occasion.

Xd00999 You can now un-cancel one television show. What do you choose?

When I do make it to my television, I’m more than likely using it to battle the Internet though the construct of my favorite game. Thus, I am transferring my vote to the Bungie Panel. Have at it, people. What do you wish was still on the idiot box?

I used to work in TV, so that’s like asking me to resurrect only one of my deceased friends. Too cruel. Instead, I’ll bring to life a baby that was never born: a pilot I wrote called “The War.” Imagine the grittiness of “The Wire,” set on the coke-frenzied Sunset Strip of the 1980s. It was an intense roller-coaster ride of sex & drugs & rock-n-roll… or at least it would have been, had it ever seen the light of day. Oh well…
Dave Mongan, Senior Writer

I’m sure this is the first time someone mentioned this show, but Firefly.
Chris Owens, Test Engineer

Answers other than Firefly are wrong.
Tom Gioconda, Engineer

Wonderfalls!
Alex Loret de Mola, Engineer

Better Off Ted.
Leland Dantzler, Tester

Carnivale on HBO.
Doug Juno, Artist

Arrested Development.
Drew Smith, Producer

Deadwood, so I can open a can of peaches.
Forrest Soderlind, Technical Artist

A Pimpin Lady Why will you not answer my question? I want to know where Bungie hires their non-gaming personnel. Last time I asked this question, you sent me to the job listings page on B.Net. In all my years here, I have never seen non-gaming related listings. I know you guys have to have accountants, HR, health educators, etc. Will you please tell me where the job listings for these people are found?

It’s almost as if our whole team is devoted to the singular cause of making a game. We do have a few people at Bungie who mind the shop while we make the toys. In all your years here, none of them have quit. They really like their jobs. We see to that, personally. If we end up needing more of them, the curious onlookers who pay attention to our Careers page will be the first to know.

Marcellos007 What was the funniest present you´ve got for Christmas?

My father and my sister succumbed to the allure of a home shopping offering on television. One toll-free conversation later, our entire family received the gift of decorative swords. Mine was so decorative, the blade folded under the weight of its own haft when I sank it into the soil of the back yard in a dramatic reenactment of the ending to my favorite Scottish revolution film. Care to recall your own comedic lumps of coal, Bungie Panel?

My dad used to rewrap the board game Balderdash every year and give it to a random member of the family. That was always funny. Plus, it’s a good game.
Drew Smith, Producer

Many years ago, a boss of mine gave me the menu for an adult-entertainment venue called The Chicken Ranch. I never visited the establishment, but I got a lot of laughs out of reading the names of their various “Dishes.”
Dave Mongan, Senior Writer

One year, my friends thought it would be a good idea to all get me Hello Kitty themed gifts, including bubble bath that came packaged with warnings about urinary tract infections. Also included was a lantern that had a warning to “not look directly at.” So, all of the Hello Kitty gifts where deadly in one way or another. But really, isn’t anything to do with Hello Kitty?
Andy Howell, Matchmaking Test Lead

Our family has had a habit of wrapping gifts in bizarre ways. I've seen bizarre polyhedral shapes, boxes nested in boxes, and gifts wrapped in twine that has been spliced so there was no end to untie.
Michael Williams, Engineer

A 20 pound wheel of cheese (I used to be a much larger man who loved his cheese).
Chris Owens, Test Engineer

My dad gave me Heretic: Shadow of the Serpent Riders. I was 8 and my mom was furious. Dad and I played the heck out of it, though.
Leland Dantzler, Tester

Halo biggest fan For all the artists at Bungie: Do any of you frequently go to figure drawing sessions to stay sharp on your traditional drawing skills?

Is this really a question about art? Or, is it more a question about naked people in our studio?

CoRaMo Where is the strangest place you have ever played a video game?

Like so many of you, I was waiting anxiously on the sidelines while Halo: ODST was preparing to drop. Through some magic wielded by the Hand of Urk, I vaulted to the front of a very long line and was the first kid in my zip code to play Firefight in the belly of a military transport vehicle. Moral to the story: Always be nice to your Community Manager. Beat that, Bungie Panel!

The Experience Music Project in Seattle during the Halo 2 launch party. The science fiction museum had only recently gone into the building, and the whole experience was pretty surreal and awesome.
Michael Williams, Engineer

At the Podiatrist, while I was having an ingrown toenail removed. I needed a distraction.
Andy Howell, Matchmaking Test Lead

You mean like the backseat of a Volkswagen?
Mike Shannon, Senior IT Engineer

Backseat of a Volkswagen.
Robert Kehoe, BVT Tester

I played Inception – The App while I was in Erfoud, Morocco just to unlock the Africa chapter. My wife rolled her eyes, but the camels didn’t seem to mind.
Forrest Soderlind, Technical Artist

On the set of a movie.
Chris Owens, Test Engineer

In a van heading across the country to get to PAX – part of a caravan called the Cross Country Super Trip. We wired it up to a TV that was fixed into the ceiling, and played it on our two day long trek.
Alex Loret de Mola, Engineer

I played Pokemon Silver in an unmarked van, in Ireland, stuck at a sheep crossing while thousands of fluffy things crossed the road for more than 15 minutes (true story).
Leland Dantzler, Tester

Do iPhone games on the porcelain throne count?
Dave Mongan, Senior Writer

To most of you, playing in an arcade is probably pretty strange. More people play video games on the toilet via their phones than play in arcades now.
Tom Gioconda, Engineer

With gaming on cell phones, it doesn’t get much more strange than gaming in a public restroom. I’m... not the only one that does that, right?
David Johnson, Engineer

Some of you are sick. Suddenly, that line that forms outside the Bungie men’s room is much less a mystery. Pull your pants up and get back to work. You can launch birds out of slingshots on your own time.

coolmike699 Does Bungie do a secret Santa? Has anyone gotten anything really weird?

Our Secret Santas give presents to the people who need them the most. This year, our tree was decorated with dreams passed along to us from our friends at the Make-A-Wish Foundation. We love making dreams come true at Bungie – the weirder the better.

Duardo What was the best gift ever given to you?

I have everything I want in life: a gaming console, a patient wife who lets me spend a lot of time with it, and a clan of willing killers to carry me to victory. Bungie Panel, can you do a better job of celebrating the spirit of giving?

Not to get all sappy, but a couple years back, my wife gave me a pretty non-traditional Christmas present: a pregnancy test that read positive. Now, a few years earlier I would’ve freaked out; but timing is everything, and instead I was super excited to know we were expecting a little gamer of our own.
Dave Mongan, Senior Writer

The generosity of my friends. I can be demanding and a bit eccentric/neurotic, but they are all super accommodating.
Drew Smith, Producer

My first thought was to say “my daughters.” Then, I realized they’re more like Trojans taking over my world: making me work harder to get them the best life I can, eating away at my idle time with child’s play and E rated games, pushing me to better myself and… Yeah, my daughters.
Christian Diefenbach, Engineering Lead

My family once commissioned a custom art piece from one of my favorite artists based on a fictional character of mine. The effort and subtlety needed to gather the information for the commission was as precious as the artwork itself.
Michael Williams, Engineer

The gift of life! Hahaha, no. In all seriousness, the Nintendo Entertainment System. It was the beginning of what got me here today.
Robert Kehoe, BVT Tester

Being able to work at Bungie.
Alex Loret de Mola, Engineer

Dethklok: Dethalbum II on vinyl.
Forrest Soderlind: Technical Artist

Will Edgette, Engineer

Hope.
Leland Dantzler, Tester

spartain ken 15 Do you guys ever think you would sell some Bungie-themed Christmas cards?

If you refresh the front page of our website, you can have one for free. There ain’t any cash in it, but it’s still a sincere expression of our love and devotion. Of all the gifts that we’re to receive in the coming days, very few will make us as happy as your unshakable friendship.

And, thus, the Sack is empty. With its closure, we bring to an end another year of community love. This next year promises to be a more exciting one. Between now and then, do take care of yourselves. May your travels by safe, and your holiday loot plentiful.

The Bungie Community is constantly astounding us with their creativity, and their solidarity. Recently, some ancients (who were playing Bungie games before some of their contemporaries were born) banded together to produce a piece of art that would steady a friend in need as he took steps toward a new challenge. Behold the intersection between passion for games and compassion for one's fellow gamer.

Miguel writes: Folks, here's a link to the whole Soulblighter Sword Cane saga, how it came to be, why we did it, etc. It all started back at the tail end of August (right before PAX Prime!) and is finally done now. The man has his uber-cane! Thanks of course to all of you for creating a wonderful environment for us to form such lasting friendships. Man, are we getting old.