Craig Kimbrel Named to All Star Team, Promptly Shits Bed

There’s one thing I’ve learned about Craig Kimbrel during his brief tenure with the Red Sox. And that is you never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever use him in a non-save situation. Also, never do it.

Sure, there are the odd occasions that lightning strikes twice and the guy comes into a tie game and leaves with the tie intact. But those moments have been few and far between this year. Hell, if it wasn’t for a sure-handed fan last week, Kimbrel would have blown last Friday’s game against the Angels.

Last night, mere hours after being named to the 2016 All Star team, Kimbrel was once again called upon to keep us in a game in a non-save situation. As you might expect, he shit the bed, giving up not one or two but four earned runs, including a mammoth 3-run homer by Robinson Chirinos.

So in the aftermath of that madness, my question to you, gentle reader, is as follows: Does the Red Sox’ 7-2 loss fall on the shoulders of John Farrell, who should know by now that, as mentioned earlier, Kimbrel should be sent home or tied up in a burlap sack before being used in a non-save situation? Or Craig Kimbrel, who is being paid a lot of money to not suck when called in to shut down three or four or, heaven forbid, five batters? Or David Price, who only gave up three earned runs over eight innings but has yet to show consistently that he can silence opposing offenses as we typically expect of an insanely well-compensated staff ace?