France as thick as merde de cochon

Twenty-two percent of French voters are as thick as fucking merde de cochon, it has emerged.

The news follows the release of exit polls showing a sizeable proportion of French voters backing the daughter of a holocaust denier, thereby joining the US and Britain as fully paid up members of the Wankers Club.

The night has ended with red faces among the ‘establishment’ parties and Eurotrash presenter Antoine de Caunes refusing to come down from the roof of a multi-storey car park on the Champs Elysées.

Extreme right-winger, Marine Le Pen, won the support of young, unemployed voters and older citizens worried about free genital mutilations on the French NHS.

Le Pen campaigned on a strict anti-globalisation, anti-immigration ticket, but refuses to clamp down on irregular French verbs.

French Political Analyst, Professeur Simon de Williams, said, “Zut alors!

“As far as the French political system goes, this has really put le chien dans le jardin avec les enfants.

“Everything is now sur la table.”

Madame Le Pen will now contest a run-off against centrist candidate Emmanuel Macron, who is seen as pro-fucking much older women and has slightly better teeth.

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