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Shine Baby Shine

Sonia Genevieve-Sherri Says “The view is spectacular because you no longer need to fit in.”

One of my significant, most formative wounds happened when I was in the fourth grade. I was part of a click of peers, four besties who played together every lunch, went home together after school and told each other our life secrets about love and life. We all lived within walking distance and it presented in my little world an example of healthy relationships.

Until one day when everything changed.

As I reached the top of the street, my friends where not there waiting for me as usual. I arrived at school to find these friends had outcast me. When I asked what was wrong, they simply declared that they weren’t friends with me anymore. That was it. No explanation, no fight that preceded it. Just a simple fact: You’re not included anymore. It was my first introduction of rejection. I wondered what I did wrong. I wondered what was wrong with me. What was so bad that I just lost a whole circle of friends? I recall it was quite a confusing time as I exhausted all mental capacity trying to figure it out. A few days later, they started calling me names – saying I looked like I was different because both my hair and skin was dark, mocking me for being of European decent. It hurt me deeply.

But here’s the thing– the damage to our spirit always lives in the story we tell ourselves. We give negativity the right to cloth us or make a choice to throw it off!! It was William Shakespeare who said “We are trampled most often by forces we ourselves create.” It may be one of the greatest human tragedies, but negativity has become a socially acceptable practice. People need to criticize in order to feel better about themselves. I have asked myself so often “why do people purposely want to hurt another person?” In my view, I want every living soul to SHINE as bright as can be.

Recently I had to address the ugly sting of negativity again. Crap happens. People behave badly. They form unfair opinions, they fail to do due diligence, they act unskillfully They can even betray one another for their own survival and story to be told. It actually reveals a person’s limitations of character. People do what they do, that we may never be able to change. But what we decide about ourselves in those moments is what matters most. I could have decided a lot of things that day in my fourth grade – that it wasn’t safe to make friends, that I was a terrible person, that I didn’t ‘cut it’ like everyone else.

If I am to be perfectly honest most of the sting didn’t pierce but one voice that did remain echoing for years and that was that I wasn’t good enough. The message I got was clear- don’t be better than anyone. Don’t be too creative or too pretty, don’t be too fashionable or too intelligent. Keep your head down and people won’t hate you. Don’t outshine your friends or you won’t have any.

After making a few steps on this narrow path of life, I can say with full confidence “I AM ENOUGH.” There was a ceiling on how much success I’d allow myself to have or how much permission I granted myself to appreciate what God created me to be. I discovered that sometimes we have to do an intentional re-wiring of our emotional thoughts. We have to first notice those limiting beliefs; the ones that hold us back from being our true selves, our most beautiful selves, our brightest selves. And then we have to say, “No more!” That belief no longer serves me. It did nothing for my life but hold me down and force me to live a lie. It no longer keeps me safe, it actually keeps me broken.

And then we begin a new story.

It means we have to learn a NEW belief and behavior. It begins with an ability to forgive others for their mistakes as it transitions into a focus of our prayers. We harmonize with life and embrace the newness of living and realize that the more we shine, the more others feel comfortable to shine too. What I deeply desire for you to know as I conclude is this: There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing that needs to be fixed. There is nothing missing or broken in you. You don’t actually need to add or subtract, but rather, to accept what you were created to be. It is the most wonderful journey called self-discovery and every frame holds no limitations. The view is spectacular because you no longer need to fit in. You just know you belong.

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