Friday, 2 October 2015

I want to be happier. I'm lucky to have everything I would wish for - a partner, a child, a home - yet I have a nagging feeling that I'm not quite living life as fully as I could. That I'm missing out, not reaching my full potential, or that life is somehow passing me by. I keep thinking that one day, when I'm getting more sleep, when I've lost half a stone, when we have fewer money worries... that then life will really start. Throughout my twenties and thirties I've battled with anxiety, depression and post-natal depression. I want to take control of my life and my happiness, but I know how easy it is to make resolutions or turn over innumerable new leaves, only to find I've somehow slipped back. Old habits die hard.

This blog is really a personal diary - a way of documenting my journey and a way of holding myself accountable. I want to be authentic and find my voice, and be me - find out who I really am. This may all sound self-absorbed, but I want a better relationship with my partner, and for him to be happier, and I want to create a happy family life. My son is just two, and I want him to have happy childhood memories. We've just made a big move, from the UK to the south of France, and I want to connect and integrate with our community, and have a positive impact. I'm certain that finding greater happiness will affect those around me.