Using my diary as an actual diary

So lately I was thinking about the life in general, our motivations and goals. Personally, the biggest thing I am afraid of is that it's gonna get worse. In theory, world is moving forward so do we. The Quality of Life should become better every day. But unfortunately nobody can guarantee that.

As long as you're getting use to better food, clothes, entertainment how would you consider going back to black?

And this thought scares me every time I have it. Thinking about the past is usually pleasant because your bad memories fade much faster than good ones (or may be I am just a more positive person that I imagined). But I am not consider a possibility of going back to where I started. Sure, I am not the one...

Basically, the only one idea that keep us running is a hope for better. You either hope or commit suicide. It's like in the chess match: when to maters are playing and one see that he's gonna loose for sure he stops. Which totally make sense. Why wasting everybody's time?

Of course, that is radical and I think I am s strong enough person to keep fighting till the end. However, I am expecting the positive changes in my life soon and I have a right to do so. Fingers crossed

District 13 and slash

Tough to believe but this is the first time I saw District 13 and District 13 Ultimatum. And guess what: besides the awesome action there is a perfect slash couple in it! I think their relationships are so precious, how they save each other etc. Even the fight scene from the first part is hot-hot-hot

movie-expert

well, as long as my love life does not exist I am compensating. mostly with watching movies. sometimes shows but movies are preferable. So today instead of doing the assignment for psychology (which i finally forgot to submit so now i'm fucked) I was watching: Cotton Club, Irreversible, Twilight Break Down.

Cotton Club: kind of watched more like a part of Jazz History class assignment and cuz it was the first movie I watched in english. In the second grade my english teacher gave my VHS with this movie, i don't even know why: I couldn't understand a word from it. What I think now? Nothing special. Richard Geer is incredibly annoying, dances and performances could be better, plot is boring and predictable. Summary: waste of time.

Irreversible: french DRAMA from 2002. Decided to watch it because before some time ago I saw a rape scene from this movie and it was horrible cruel. However the whole movie is even worse. It has almost all type of violence including gay and bdsm sex. Bonners are just everywhere! Wonder if they showed it in theaters at all. But, not gonna lie, I liked it a lot. Kassel and Beluchi naked in bed look just astonishing (would give the movie high ranking only because this hot-hot-hot couple) atmosphere of crime-gay-party Paris is disgusting and attractive at the same time. Although still don't understand how could they film something like this with such a famous and expensive actors. Highly recommend.

Twilight Break Down: shame on me of course. Not gonna have a discussion here about the ugliness of Bella, advantage of the book or girls oriented plot. Everybody knows that. Just want to point out that forth movie is actually looks better than the first one (see the same pattern as with Harry Potter). An dyes I am watching it because my love life sucks which bring us to the begging of this post. May be instead of having sex I can become a movie critic and discuss people having sex on the screen. Fun perspective.