As I'm sure you have ascertained by now, these are all exceedingly good reasons to disrupt

emergency police, fire and EMS calls. That is unless your are the police, fire department or ambulance service. Those guys tend to take a dimmer view of such shenanigans than does your run of the mill Dumbass.

In other words, the people who man those agencies have absolutely no sense of humor.

Today I came across a Dumbass who has a very good reason for abusing the 9-1-1 system.

"Ms. French called 911 for a medical issue as well as she had been drinking," the arrest affidavit said."Ms. French was in no obvious stress when EMS assessed her, she was highly intoxicated."

A firefighter/paramedic on the scene reported that she told him the real reason she called 911 was "because she was lonely," the report said.

She had also called 911 earlier that same day and four other times, authorities said.

"On each of the aforementioned dates and times, Ms. French was transported to Indian River County Medical Center as well as she was intoxicated on each instance," the affidavit said."

I now have a picture in my mind of Drunk Lonely Little Old Ladies all across The Fruited Plain getting blasted, dialing 9-1-1 looking for engaging conversation with some poor schlub at the Emergency Call Center.