After 6 years of marriage, my husband's Muscular Dystrophy diagnosis and subsequent physical decline, my gastric bypass surgery, depression, and apparent infertility, this is where I find my new normal.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

This is me and one of my coworker's kittens. These cute little furry beasts are only 3 weeks old. Isn't it cute? Poor Mom-on-Roof. She is powerless against the power of a kitten.

Today was the March of Dimes Walk America here in the Twin Cities. It has not stopped raining in 2 days. Bob and I get to the walk location and found many, many people with umbrellas, tarps, raincoats, and plastic coverings. There were more people than I was expecting. We had a hard time finding the Big Bank Co group but eventually hooked up with them just as the walk started. We walked as a team until we hit the first pit stop. I always end up losing my walking partners at the first pit stop. This year we lost 2 of our team members but the rest of us kept together. The walk was supposed to be a choice of 5 miles or 8 miles. Because of the rain, they kept it at about 4.5 miles. The walk started at 11 and we were done by 12:30 or 1. Because of the rain, it was wham, bam, thank you ma'am, let's go. No lingering, no loitering, no hanging around.

We got home around 2 and after I stripped off my wet clothes, I took to my bed with the heating pad. My female reproductive system was screaming in pain and all I could do to shut it up was pound 2 extra strength Midol and take a nap. An hour later and I was better. After a bowl of home made bean soup and some crusty bad, I was better.

Over all it was a good day. A good day for a walk (if you were a duck), a good day for a nap, a good day for some warm, home made soup, and a good day to finish some homework. Whee!

Sorry no photos from the walk. It was so wet and rainy and we were so intent on walking and getting through the course that I didn't even think to take the camera out. If it had been a nicer day, the walk would have been beautiful! The course was through the Kenwood, Lake of the Isles neighborhoods. It's pretty hoity toity there and everyone has magnificent yards and gardens and homes. (Oh my!)

This next week is looking to be completely crazy. Monday and Wednesday are my class nights. Tuesday night I have to go to Simply To The Table and make this month's meals. Thursday Jennifer Weiner is speaking at a local bookstore and Friday is free! Whee! And sometime this week I have to call and set up my appointment for the doctors to shoot dye into my female parts. Whee again.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

If you want to know what I am going to write about, scroll down and read the previous entry. Plus, KITTENS! Aw, so cute!

I don't know what I was worried about! Alexis was awesome and we had a really good chat. She is beautiful and amazing and so cool. We talked about her, her business (I was right, it's her baby and she loves talking about it), and me and Bob. She even hugged me when I left. It was...amazing. I would love to work for her some day. So it turned out just fine.

When I got home, I saw that we have new neighbors moving in. It has not stopped raining all day and these poor people have been moving their possessions in the worst weather. I felt so badly for them. I wanted to meet them. I wanted to do something nice for them. So I ordered them a pizza meal deal from the pizzeria across the street. When it came, they weren't home, so I left it outside their door with a note introducing us. About 20 minutes later, they knocked on our door and introduced themselves. Of course I can't remember their names, but I do know they have a cat named Gypsy. They were super nice and very thankful for a hot meal that didn't need to be cooked. They were wet and cold and hungry and they said a pizza would really hit the spot. I hope they aren't vegitarians because I ordered the meat lovers. Heh.

Hope the rain lets up tomorrow. I don't really want to walk 5 miles in the rain. Oh well. It's better than the 25 degrees and snow that fell last year at this time.

I am posting this entry from the Dunn Bros in the North Loop neighborhood. I am a half hour early for an appointment I made with a woman from Lola Red PR agency. I am nervous. I am meeting this woman to discuss her PR agency for a report that's due on Monday. Alexis started her own PR firm 6 years ago. She was just a year out of college and had $1500 from a severance package from being laid off from some big PR agency. Lola Red is small and independent and making it big. Who am I? Some aging chick with an assignment. And yet Alexis agreed to meet me for coffee and a discussion. I dressed up. I'm even wearing makeup and I never wear makeup. What if she hates me? What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I've been "out of it" so long I don't know what to talk about? I don't know what's cool or what's hot. I'm the biggest duffus I know. I don't know what I'm so nervous about. It's not like this is a job interview. I'm just talking to her about her company, which is something I am sure she loves to talk about. Just like parents love to talk about their children. Right? Why am I so nervous? At least I have a yummy latte to take the edge off.

This morning I drove Bob to our friend's chiropractic clinic so he could get his back worked on. While he was doing that, I drove down the street and had my nails done. I haven't had a manicure since our wedding day. Four and a half years is a long time to have raggedy nails, people. Bob doesn't so much like it when I spend money on personal grooming. I think it's because he grew up so poor and it seems like such an indulgence. I understand where he's coming from which is why I color my own hair and only schedule hair appointments every 6 months or so. But a girl can't meet a PR mogul with raggedy nails, now can she? Bob said next time; he will do my nails for me. Ha! I said I don't know when there will be a next time. It's not something I do with any kind of frequency. We just happen to have a little extra in the bank account and $15 is not going to break the bank.

After the nails and the chiropractic appointment, we drove to my co-worker's house. She lives just down the way from where we happened to be. This winter a stray cat adopted her and moved in under the steps in her garage. Three weeks ago, the stray had kittens. She wants me to design a poster with photos so she can give the kittens away. So we went out there so I could take some photos. Unfortunately, most of them are too blurry to use, but MAN are those kittens CUTE! Their little eyes just opened last weekend and they aren't too ambulatory yet, but the cuteness factor of those little kitties is overboard. That's them at the top of this post.

After that, it was time to go home where I did some prep for my meeting with Alexis. Now I am just wasting time until she gets here. Man, I'm nervous! She is all young, downtown, urban hipness and I am all aging, nontraditional student homemaker chick.

Oh, did I happen to mention that I applied for a job in the marketing department of Big Bank Co? This is the marketing department in the insurance department where my current department used to be. We are still in the same building with them, but are completely and totally separated from them now. The woman that would be my boss has been out of town all week. I don't even know if she's seen my resume/application yet. It's a long shot, especially since I don't have my degree yet, but it's what I would like to do, so we'll see. I hate interviewing. I hate changing jobs. But there is really nowhere for me to go in my current position, so here's hoping! I told my boss about it yesterday because I didn't want her to hear it from the grapevine or at the last minute. She seemed genuinely excited for me, so that was good.

Friday, April 28, 2006

So, my princess lady time is 4 days early. Wasn’t expecting it. Wasn’t prepared. Yet, here she is. Lovely. Well, at least now I can call and make an appointment for my uterine dye scan. Looks like it will be week after next…if there’s a spot available.

Bob hurt his back and is going to see the chiropractor tomorrow. I had to make the appointment because he just lives with the pain. He is worried about the appointment with the urologist next month. He says he’s been experiencing pain in his abdomen but that might be the hernia. Poor guy. He’s really been worried about it but hasn’t voiced it much at all. I hope it’s nothing. He’s so worried that he started the“no matter what happens” speeches.

It’s supposed to rain today through Tuesday. We need the rain, I just don’t like the low temps that go along with the grey skies.

Tomorrow we are running an errand that should make us smile and laugh and bring brightness to an otherwise cloudy time. More on that in the coming weeks.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Those little sprouts are Bob's morning glories. To say he is proud and excited about these little babies would be an understatement. He can't wait until we can keep the pots outside all the time instead of just in the afternoon.

I am enjoying having flowers to care for as well. My petunias are opening and my geraniums are just lovely. I am loving this gardening thing.

This has been the longest week ever. I can't believe it's only Thursday. I've been able to keep up on homework for both the classes I'm taking right now. But work has been crazy and there is more homework piling up. Work is crazy because we are rolling out new paperwork for all of our thousands of bankers. We had temps doing most of the heavy lifting on that project. However there was other stuff left over and that went to me. Yesterday it was my job to clean and organize our storage room. I actually didn't mind that since I LOVE to organize. Today my job consisted of alphabetizing hundreds of boxes of business cards, first by state and then by banker last name. Fun! Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Maybe I will actually get to do my actual job.

Saturday I am going to the farmer's market for the first time since I moved here 8 years ago. I can't wait. I am going with a formar co-worker that I've recently developed a renewed aquaintence. We were supposed to go walking tonight but I had to go to the grocery store after work and Bob was complaining that he hadn't seen mme all week. So, we will meet at the FM on Saturday.

Sunday is the March of Dimes Walk America. I only ended up raising $75, but it's $75 that is going towards a great cause. I ordered a large button to wear on the walk. It features a photo of Aidyn and says, "I am walking for my great niece". It's supposed to rain tomorrow and Saturday but Sunday should be nice. That's a relief because last year's walk was on May 1st and featured temps in the middle 20's and snow.

The rest of the weekend features homework and something fun that Bob and I are going to keep to ourselves for a few weeks.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

The photo at left is one of the geraniums I planted today. Along with geraniums, I planted pansies and petunias. I have some beautiful window box-type things with the coconut husk bottoms. I'll take a photo and share later. Bob planted morning glories and a wildflower mix, but his are in seed form planed in pots. We bring them in during the night but will be able to leave them out after mother's day. We LOVE flowers.

Yesterday I met some girlfriends for coffee and chatting. We ended up staying for 4 hours! It was nice to catch up and spend some time with the girls. We all have our stuggles and it's good to have someone to help bear up under them.

After coffee, Bob and I went on a date to Chili's for lunch. It was nice until a party of 5 adults and what seemed like a dozen little boys ages 8-12 showed up. They seated them right next to us and the boys were telling "your mom is so..." jokes which morphed into young boy sex and bodily function jokes. Not great for the appetite. We left Chili's and went to Wally World where we picked up some personal toiletries and the aforementioned pots and window boxes. after Wally World, it was home to do homework and housework.

Today Bob was in great pain and hadn't slept well the night before so he slept in and I did more homework and more domestic stuff. I made an egg bake for breakfast, put a roast in the crockpot for supper, and washed all the dishes.

Once Bob woke up, I made him coffee and heated up some egg bake for breakfast. Then we went to the flower place to get some flowers. the day started out cool, but by the time we got to the flower place, it was over 70. We meandered around, looking for flowers and trying to pick just a few out of the miriad of gorgeous flora available. At the checkout line, Bob saw a $5 bill and pointed it out to me to pick up. We asked everyone around us if it was theirs and all answered no. So we kept it and decided to stop at Dairy Queen on the way home.

When we got to Dairy Queen, we were just behind an entire baseball team. That was OK by me since the day was so gorgeous, it meant spending more time outside. We took our treats to the creekside to eat. We watched the little boys from the baseball team try to throw one another into the creek. After a while they got bored with that and just started heaving large rocks in to splash one another. As we left, Bob noticed a Porsch Boxster convertable parked in the only other handicapped space available. Nothing gets his ire up than people who don't need it, using the handicapped spaces. He used our cell and called the local police to report it. They took the info and said they would send a squad. They called us back to say the Porsche owner had a handicapped tag, it just wasn't displayed. We just think he has friends in high places.

The rest of the day was spent planting flowers and seeds, finishing homework, and just enjoying the end of a relaxing and beautiful weekend. I hope my flowers grow and bloom and stay beautiful. I've never had flowers before and am not sure what to expect. I know to keep them watered and fertilized, but beyond that, I am not sure. My potted tulips are done blooming. I snipped off the flowers but I do not know what to do with the bulbs now. So far, they are still planted in the pot. I also need to buy one more pot or box. My eyes were bigger than my planters and I have 3 little flowers still to plant. I just have to say there is nothing better than blogging from the patio. I am loving this spring.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Did you know that premature birth is the leading cause of new born death in the first month of life? It affects 1,305 babies a day in the United States. That`s 1 in every 8 babies born. Those who survive may have lifelong health problems. And premature births are on the rise -- up to 27% since 1981.

My great niece Aidyn was one of those babies. She was born at least 6 weeks early and weighed only 3 lbs. She spent a total of 16 days in the NICU undergoing phototherapy for jaundice and spent her days in an incubator to help her maintain her body temperature. Thankfully Aidyn is doing well now. She is home and is a beautiful, growing, 7 week old infant who now weighs more than 6 lbs!

Other babies aren`t as lucky as Aidyn and won`t survive or could have health problems that could last a lifetime. The funds we raise in WalkAmerica support research that help save babies` like my great niece.

That is why I am asking you to support me in March of Dimes WalkAmerica. Because premature birth can happen to any pregnant woman. In nearly half the cases, the causes are unknown. The March of Dimes is leading the way to find answers by supporting research into the causes of premature birth. I am joining the fight, and so can you.

Your support helps fund:-Research into stress and other factors that may trigger preterm labor.-Programs to educate pregnant women to recognize the warning signs of preterm labor.-Tools to help health care providers find better ways to detect women who may be at risk for preterm labor.

Please join in and help fight prematurity. Visit my webpage and sponsor me in the Walk that saves babies! I am walking for Aidyn and babies like her. My personal web page address for donations is....http://www.walkamerica.org/amiebea

My class last night was awesome! Anotherclassmatefrom my cohort is joining me in making up this class, so I didn’t feel so weird and lonely. I did have a lovely surprise in that a former student from the youth group I used to lead was also in the class. I didn’t recognize him at first since it’s been seven or eight years since I last saw him. It does my heart good to see these students years later and see that they are such good people, upstanding adults, andhave hearts for God. He is finishing his degree in psychology because he wants to be a marriage and family counselor. My parents knew/know his parents and I knew him before he was in the youth group. He was kind of a squirrelly kid but has grown into a fine young man.

Today we had a staff meeting because my boss’s boss’s boss was in town to cheer the troops. I stopped listening afterthe 7th corporate speak word. I also started taking notes but only writing down each corporate buzz word as it was uttered by the half-dozen or so managers present. The following were mentioned several times. I wish I had but tick marks next to each one as well. 1.)Profitability, 2.) Skills set, 3.) Market share, 4.)Strategy, 5.) Recognition, 6.) Management recognizes this, 7.) Product set, 8.) Model, 9.) Corporate model, 10.) Primary Functions, 11.) Structure, 12.) Art of Possible. There was more but that’s all I could stomach. Bah!

There is a new guy at work that is a little annoying. Someone filled our 3 coffee pots with warm soapy water and it appeared they were soaking them because of all the yuckycoffee crud on the bottom of each pot. This guy complained that he couldn’t make coffee because of this. More than one of us told him he was more than welcome to dump the water and clean out the pots and make his coffee since we didn’t have anyone assigned to make and/or care for the coffee. He said he would just do without and wait until someone else washed themout. He added that he isn’t the office gopher/coffee maker. Puh. I bet he’s waiting for one of the women to do it.

It’s been raining/hailing on and off all day. It was colder than it has been and now it’s grey and dreary and at least we are getting the rain we need.

Last night I tried to call a friend of mineon my cell phone. First I tried her at home and a young girl answered. I asked for my friend and she said,“who?” I repeated myself and she said no one was there by that name. Mind you the number is programmed into my cell phone and I’ve called her lots of times before. I tried her on her cell and some guy named Mark answered and said he did not know anyone named Deb and this had been his cell number for quite a while. Same thing. The number has been programmed in our cell for a good long time. How does this happen? I emailed her this morning at work and she said she hadn’t changed any of her numbers. I will have to reprogram them. Weird.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

My RE (reproductive endocrinologist)’s office called with the results of Bob’s semen analysis. They want to see at least 20 million in the supplied sample. Bob had 181 million. The want 50% or more to be moving. Bob had 45%, a little on the low side. They want at least 30% to look normal (heads and tails intact etc). Bob had 32%. So other than the low movers, Bob looks good right? Wrong. They found white bloodcells in his sample. I don’t know how many they found, but they referred Bob to a urologist for further tests. Of course I Googled“white blood cells in semen” and everything that comes up talks of male infertility and something calledLeukocytospermia which is typically the result of a genital tract infection. The nurse made it sound like something men over 40 are prone to. Dr. Google made it sound like something promiscuous men contract as a result of an STD. Who to believe? I guess we will get Bob into the urologist’s office and see what they can come up with. The earliest appointment they had was May 16th, so we have to wait until then. I still have to schedule my HSG (tubal dye study…or what I call the uterine dye test) and have to wait until my next Princess Lady time to schedule it.

The nurse did say that based on the results of the tests that have come back, my doctor already recommends that I go on a low dose of Clomid and that we inseminate. I know I said in the past that I didn’t want to take drugs or go the insemination or IVF route and that if it came to that, we would count on adoption to build our family. What I didn’t count on is how strongly I want to be pregnant. I really want to experience a baby growing inside of me and deliveringsaid baby. It is such a deep longing and yearning and I wasn’t prepared for that. I still want to build a family through adoption butnot exclusively. To me, a child is a child is a child. I wasn’t prepared to feel so strongly about experiencing pregnancy and delivery first hand.

Monday, April 17, 2006

So by all accounts the weather here is not supposed to stay as beautiful as it's been. Good thing I didn't buy all the gardening stuff I was salivating over this weekend. The front bringing the snow over the plains is only going to bring us rain, but it's going to feel like so much winter after this lovely spring. Bob and I went for a walk tonight and leaves, flowers, buds, and blossoms are busting out all over. I am loving it.

Today wasn't so bad at work. By all accounts, tomorrow is going to be hellacious though. It looks like I will be working late tomorrow. I like the overtime and miss the 80-90 hours I had in overtime by this time last year. I am so looking forward to the tax time rush being over.

Hey, what's the deal with Subway's replaying of their late 80's commercial with the Square Pegs-like chicks? Did Jared die? Why the recycled material? It's not even that great of a commercial. I hated it then and it hasn't matured well with age at all.

Wednesday night I start a new class. I am taking the class that I withdrew from last month. It means I will be doubled up for a while, but it also means I can graduate on time with the rest of my class. Another classmate from my cohort is also taking that class so I won't be going it alone and that makes all the difference.

I hope Bob and I can manage to move out of our apartment into a house this October. The element they have allowed to move in here over the winter is really kind of creeping me out. There is a large group of guys standing outside our apartment in the parking lot right now. They are just standing there being loud and obnoxious. Maybe this happened before and we just didn't know it because our apartment was farther away, but I don't think so.

In my last post I didn't mean to imply that all bratty kids are the product of bratty parents. I guess I was painting with a broad brush. We live in kind of a hoity area and we often see made up moms acting hoity towards those they might view as "the help" and I guess I just projected that attitude on this young girl. It's possible that she comes from a lovely family and is just a bratty kid. I was just amazed that someone so young could be so incredebly self absorbed and bratty. I hope she has to work in some kind of customer service job some day. Of course YOUR kids are beautiful, talented, amazing, kind, and generous.

Happy Easter! Happy Spring! Today started out cool, rainy, and cloudy. But the end of the day was so worth waiting for. It became sunny, warm, and spectacular. Everything a spring day on Easter should be. On the way to church we noticed that all the trees are full of buds and leaves. It is greening up and is just spectacular. The tree in the photo above is just outside our apartment. The birds hang out in it all day long. In the morning they sing from it and the cats love to watch them from the windows and bedroom balcony.

This weekend was wonderful, if busy. Friday was a low key night. I picked up a papa murphy's pizza and we both went to bed early. I had to work on Saturday. Before I got there, I stopped at Caribou for some chai. There were 4 high school girls ahead of me. They all ordered oreo snowdrifts. They got their orders and started for the door. The alpha teen girl took a sip of her drink, stopped, and marched back to the barista who made it. She declared that it had no taste whatsoever and demanded that he remake it and this time he needs to make it stronger. He apologized and asked what the problem was and she repeated that it had no taste and he needed to make it again only this time stonger. She was a total snot about it. She didn't ask nicely and she didn't say please or thank you. She treated the barista as though he were a lower life form than she and acted as though it were his station in life to bow to her whims. He was gracious, kind, apologetic and never once treated her badly. He was so far above her, he could see the part in her hair. I could see that she learned her behavior somewhere...probably from her mom. After I got my chai, I left and the guy in front of me dropped his large coffee on the ground right in front of me. Poor guy.

I only had to work for 3 hours. Me and my boss and 3 others were there as well. We got most of what needed to be done done in 3 hours. We are ready for tomorrow...tax day.

After work, I ran some errands. I went to Wally world to get some East basket supplies and checked out their garden center. I don't want to plant anything yet because while the weather here has been phenominal, it can easily change. But I saw some things I would like to plant next month. I found some lovely bleeding hearts that would look nice in a pot on our north balcony. I found some lovely geraniums and other sun loving flowering plants that would look nice on our west facing balcony. Finally, I found some great tomato plants that I would like to pot and plant as well. Yay!

After Wally world I picked up some dinner fixings to grill out. I got some brats, a simple pasta salad and some green salad fixings. I also picked up a bottle of beer and some eggs and dyes.

When I got home I cleaned and set up the egg dying stuff. I cleaned the grill and cat boxes. Then I turned on the grill to get it hot for the brats. Bob started dying the eggs and once I thought the grill was hot enough, I went to put the brats on the grill. It was out. I tried lighting it again but no luck. We can't be out of gas. We only used it once last year. I think there may be a leak in the line. I had to grill the brats on our indoor grill and it smoked up our whole house. But dinner was yummy nonetheless. After dinner, I cleaned up and helped Bob dye the rest of the eggs.

Today was church, but before that I made an egg bake for Easter breakfast, put supper in the crockpot, cut Bob's hair, and other sundry chores.

Church was excellent. We couldn't stay after and chat as we had a date with my grandma for lunch. We sceedaddled to meet her. We got to her building and went up to get her. Her apartment is cute. It's smaller than I first thought, but now that she's all settled, it looks great. She has a nice East facing view and it's bright and airy.

We left for lunch at Baker's Square and suprisingly, it wasn't busy at all. Everyone must be at the Easter buffets. We had a nice lunch, with pie, of course. Afterwards we went back to her place where she gave us a tour and then we went back up to her apartment to chat. We ended up leaving around 5 or so.

The rest of the evening was spent in low key ways. Bob wrote an appeal letter to his life insurance company and I chatted on the phone with my folks and some friends. Oh! Also, a house went up for sale down the street from us. It's a rambler and is kind of outside our price range except that it features an apartment in the walkout basement. It could work if we found the right renters at the right price. We would have to see the house from the inside first, though to see if Bob's chair would work. Sometimes older ramblers have really narrow doorways and halls. So, we will see. I think our financing comes back this week. After that we will see what we can afford.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

I had it coming and going at work today. Why is it when you're given a deadline the only thing I can count on from my coworkers is more work and more interruptions. Today was high stress and we haven't hit the high tax day time yet. Plus I have bankers calling me all the time wondering why they haven't received credit for the annuity they sold. Stop calling me and let me work, would'ja? Sheesh!

Bob is still whining about having to give his sample yesterday. I am grateful he did it, but I haven't been very sympathetic. I told him my tests are far more invasive and possibly painful. He said he felt for sure that everyone was smirking at him when he came out. I assured him that wasn't the case and even if they did know what he was doing in the bathroom, it wasn't like he was visiting a library or nursery school. He was at a sperm bank/reproductive lab for heaven's sake. I did manage to show him how very grateful I am and apologized for being so cold, but I still say his job was the easiest. Sheesh. Men are babies.

Oh, a friend emailed to ask about the boudior photos and what would happen if they did fall into enemy hands. First of all I doubt that will happen since Bob hid them in the deepest darkest recesses of...even I don't know. But if they did get out, I would be embarassed, but not mortified. While I was nude, I wasn't showing any naughty bits. My arms were covering my chest and my legs were crossed. I am of the firm belief that what you can't see can be sexier than showing everything off. So, if they fell into enemy hands, it would be embarassing for sure but not the end of the world. Mostly because I don't really like my body and am embarassed by the bumps and lumps. But Bob likes it, so hence the photos.

Speaking of friends...Hey Jen G! Do you still read this? Do you get the USF Cross Section school magazine? This month they focus on international adoption and we know everyone they profile! The Brenner family, Cindy Cummins, Steve Williams and his wife, and even Kirby and Nancy and Beth Jernberg have adopted! It was an awesome section and makes me want to contact them and pick their brains on the costs, highs, and lows. I can photocopy it for ya if you are interested.

Speaking of friends again...what is the story with people in Minnesota? It seems like everyone who grew up here still has all their friends from grade school. It makes it hard to make new friends as an outsider because everyone already has all the friends they need. It makes me miss all the friends I had in grade school in South St. Paul. I wish I knew what happened to Julie, Susan, Jeffrey, and Paul. Not to mention the neighbor girls from across the street, Barb, Jill, Kathy, and Jenny.

Tomorrow is going to be a difficult day at work. Not as difficult as Monday and Tuesday, but still...We were getting 25+ faxes an hour during the afternoon. Should be interesting to say the least. My boss told me to get there early, expect to take a half hour lunch and work late. Are they bringing in lunch? Nope. A little lunch would be nice, but oh well. It's to be expected. Actually as much as I want to complain, I really shouldn't. We are no where near as busy as we were last year and last year was slower than the year before. This time last year I'd already logged about 60 hours in over time. This year? None so far. So really, I think it's going to be OK. Just wake me when it's May.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Sorry I've been away so long. This time of year is crazy busy at work and it leaves little time for extras. Also, I started class again and am working on homework for that.

Since I last wrote lots has happened. Here is the catch up post.

Friday and Saturday I attended my church's womens conference. I was originally looking forward to it until Friday arrived. Then I wished I didn't have to go. It ended up being a very beneficial time and I think some healing occured in my heart. I realized that in my hurting heart, I have withdrawn from my church. I worked through some of that and feel a lot better about going to church. I took a bunch of photos which you can see if you click the Flickr badge. I even connected and reconnected with some women there and that felt good as well. I miss having girlfriends. I commuted to and from the event with one gal and had good talks with her each time. I also set up a time to get together with three other gals for coffee next weekend. Over all it was a good time and I am glad I went.

Sunday was Palm Sunday and both Bob and I made it to church and it was awesome. It is such a blessing to have a place to go every Sunday where we feel part of a family.

We picked up lunch on the way home from church and then I loaded up all our laundry and my schoolwork and went to the laundromat. We had 8 large loads and it took me 3 hours to do all the laundry. By the time it was done, I didn't feel like cooking, so I picked up dinner too. Good thing we made some money when we sold Bob's truck.

Bob was asked to speak to a men's group before they head to a larger men's breakfast. He was speaking to one of the Metro Mobility drivers and this guy remembered him and his positive attitude and called him up. Bob is excited about this. He has also been helping out the local MDA with some fundraising and networking. On Thursdays and Fridays, he has class. Since getting the van, he is a guy on the move.

Monday was a new class. This one is public relations. I really liked the first class. It doesn't seem like it's going to be too labor intensive so I think I am going to double up and take the class from which I withdrew last month at the same time. That way I can just be done in November. Whoot!

Oh! I forgot. On Saturday night Bob was at his sister's house visiting our nephew. I got home from the women's retreat and used the time to do something a tad unorthodox. I used the self timer function on our camera and took boudiour (not sure how to spell that) photos of myself for Bob. I printed them out and put them in a small photo album and gave it to him on Sunday. He LOVED it! He is paranoid about someone finding it, but he LOVED it nonetheless. Hee.

Bob finally made it to the place where he gave his sperm sample. It turns out he was in and out (ha!) in record time and it wasn't a big (ha!) deal after all. Not that it was his favorite thing to do, but at least it's done. Finally! Now all that's left to do is my uterine dye test next month and then we might have some answers. Or not. Who knows.

Ever since the women's conference, I have been feeling better. I think the 3 good cries I had and the resulting healing really helped. It doesn't hurt that it's spring and the weather has been beautiful and warm. We sleep with the sliding glass doors open and the cats are LOVING it! I also finally picked up my bike and am looking forward to taking a nice bike ride this weekend.

Speaking of this weekend, I may have to work on Saturday since it's tax day on Monday. We have no realy Easter plans other than maybe bringing my grandma to church and dinner after. If her sons make plans with her then we are on our own. I should really get something from the store to cook at home just in case. We don't have any easter basket stuff and have not colored eggs this year. Don't know if we will, but we have other years.

The photo at the top of this post is of a tulip plant I bought at Wal-Mart for $5. I bought the one plant that hadn't yet opened up. 24 hours later, they are in full bloom and are just gorgeous. I love me some tulips. I hope I can use the bulbs for future years. Happy Spring!

Maisey is enjoying the warm, spring weather. She has been outside on her harness every day this week. She is getting used to the new apartment location and is exploring new territory. Her favorite place so far is under the balcony. She also likes to sit under the mature pine tree right next to our balcony.

Friday, April 07, 2006

I stayed home from work on Tuesday. Still felt yucky and truthfully I think it was princess time related. This brings me back to my high school days where I would miss a day or two every month because of my stinking period. I was better by Wednesday and have been even better every day since. I hate using that as an excuse to miss work/school. Just because I’m a girl. Bah! I should be tougher than that and yet…not so much.

I did get in to the RE’s (reproductiveendocrinologist) office to give my day three blood. No big deal. I was in and out in less than 5 minutes. I got my results today, not that they mean a lot to me right now. I need to talk with Dr. Google to really see what they mean, I think. My thyroid level was a 2.08, my Pro…something was 5.3, my FSH which is thefollicle stimulating hormone was 9.5, and myEST…something was 50. The nurse said they were all in the normal range but she didn’t quantify/qualify high or low normals. I do know that a low FSH level is good and I think I read somewhere that it should be near 7 for optimum results. Bob’s appointment with the analyst is Wednesday at 2. Hopefully, he will make this appointment…I can only hope and pray. I was supposed to call and schedule the uterine dye test for right after my princess time, but I can’t take any more time off this month, especially with tax time just a week away. So, I will have to wait until after princess time next month for that one.

I also met with my counselor for the first time. It was nice, but the first time usually is. Mostly I just filled out forms and answered questions and scheduled an appointment for next week. She seems very kind and gentle and has a philosophy that I steer my own therapy and she will help. Sounds good to me. Of course, the day before my appointment I felt so good that I wanted to cancel. That always happens to me. I didn’t, and I will continue to go for a while. Sometimes it just helps to have someone listenme.

Tonight and tomorrow night I will be at a woman’s conference at my church. I was looking forward to it…last week. Today, not so much. I hope it’s not too emotional. I will judge the whole thing by tonight and if it’s not good, I won’t end up going tomorrow. I do look forward to seeing some of my church friends and getting some face time with them during the breaks. It’s one of my friend’sbirthdays today and I got her a little something to celebrate. She’s had a very difficult year, so I hope this makes her smile.

Bob is still sad over the loss of Honor. He talked to someone at the service dog office and they told him they retired her and now she is at the farm of her puppy raisers, enjoying all farm life has to offer a dog. We tend to be kind of skeptical about that…it sounds too much like what parents tell their kids when they put the family dog down. They did leave the door open for him to have another dog and really wanted him to foster a dog this weekend but he just can’t right now. He DOES need to see his doctor though because since the fall he has been having some vision and memory problems. I am making an appointment for him for next week. He found out that he doesn’t need hernia surgery right away. The doctor said surgery is risky for him because of his neuromuscular disorder and medical history, so they are going tohave him wait 3 months and then re-evaluate from there. Poor baby.

Work is getting crazier right now and while things aren’t as busy as they were last year or the year before, they are picking up. I miss the overtime I had last year. That helps pad the paycheck.

So, that’s the update. Oh, and Kathy, I am sorry about the crack about 40 sounding old. I just meant that it sounded old to be getting a first tattoo. Speaking of sounding old, while I was at the MDA Black and Blue Ball on Saturday getting my temporary tattoo, I told thechick to put it somewhere that would be fun for my husband to discover. She laughed and said her mom works at a nursing home and told her a story about a woman who dropped cookies down her blouse and when her mom tried to clean her up, the old woman laughed and said her husband Earl would help her get them out later. Then the tattoo chick laughed at the crazy old woman and said,“I mean, she was OLD! She had to be at least…60!” Wow! 60? Yeah, that IS old! Heh.

Monday, April 03, 2006

I am home sick today. I actually went to work at 7, but felt too crappy to stay, so I finished what I could and came home. Not sure what it is, but I feel freezing cold, queasy, and light headed. Better to spend the day blogging in bed than at work with my head on my desk all day.

The photo above is from the MDA Black and Blue Ball Saturday night. It's a temporary tatoo but Bob thinks it's sexy, so I might consider getting a real one some day. Maybe for my fortieth birthday. Geez, that sounds old.

This weekend was good. We sold the truck Friday night and had big euphoria about that. I talked on the phone to my dad and nephews for a bit as well. Friday nights tend to be pretty low key for us and this one was no exception.

I was looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday but it must not have been in the cards. I woke up at 6:30 and could not get back to sleep. So I got up and balanced the checkbook and paid a bunch of bills. Woot! Then I ran a bunch of errands. It was supposed to be the day we gathered Bob's sample, but he wasn't feeling good, so I let him sleep while I went out and about.

I went to the bank and deposited the money we got for the truck. I went to the post office and picked up a roll of stamps and mailed some more thank you cards to people who donated to the van fund. I stopped by a local salon and made an appointment for later to have my brows waxed and hair cut. I stopped at Goodwill and dropped off a bag of clothes. Man, was that line long! Everyone must be doing their spring cleaning and getting rid of everything. After that I had some lunch and bought some new hair color. I wanted to color my hair before my appointment and boy, am I glad I did!

I hate getting my hair cut. Actually, I like the act of getting my hair cut but since I moved here, I have not been able to find anyone I like and trust to cut my hair. The last gal to cut it made fun of my self colored hair. I just can't afford to have it professionally done every 6-8 weeks so I do it myself. This new gal actually complimented me on the color and said it was a good one for me. She kept saying that throughout the appointment. Another thing I hate about getting my hair cut is the small talk. I am trusting this person to cut my hair and yet I don't know them. If they don't talk to me, am I supposed to talk to them? This gal was pretty good. She asked me questions like, "Are you married?", "How did you meet your husband?", and "Do you have kids?". So that was OK. I asked her the same and we did OK. Part of the problem was that she is obviously from another country and English is her second language so at times there was a language barrier, which made some conversations awkward. But over all I think she did a great job and I would not be adverse to seeing her again.

After the hair and brow beautifying, I bought Bob some lunch and headed for home. While he ate, I went about beautifying myself some more for the Black and Blue Ball.

The Black and Blue Ball is one of MDA's biggest fundraisers. It's in conjunction with Harley Davidson so you get a nice mix of bikers and bankers. The bikers wear black leather and blue jeans and the bankers wear suits and ties and such. The biker babes wear leather and the banker babes wear ball gowns or fancy dresses. There is a silent auction, a live auction, and fun stations throughout that accept donations for services. That's how I ended up with a temporary tattoo. We had a great time, as we always do at MDA events.

The event started at 6 and we were there around that time. The first 2 hours were kind of a happy hour/mingling/silent auction bidding time with a cash bar and free martinis. I'd never had a martini so I thought I would try one. They had cosmos and appletinis so I chose a cosmo. It was OK, but I had an empty stomach and felt the effects pretty quickly. I had to sit down for about 30 minutes and let the booze wear off. I laughingly joked with an MDA worker about how they had planned the event to get everyone drunk before dinner so the bidding went higher.

Dinner was good. They served a nice white fish and beef tips with a sweet potato cake. Dessert was creme brulee and it was my first ever. I have to say, yum! I had an appletini after dinner and liked it better than the cosmo. I did better booze-wise too.

The live auction went fast and then they brought out the band. Bob and I shook our booties on the dance floor for the first time since he was put in the wheelchair. At first he was afraid and wouldn't dance, but the music proved too much for him and soon he was out there jamming on the one. During the slow dances, I sat on his lap as he rolled around and it was better than when he danced on two legs.

Overall it was great evening and we had a blast. I can't wait until next year.

Sunday was low key. We had church in the morning, went out to lunch with friends after, and then home for a nap. Pretty much that was our day.

Bob is doing better regarding his decision to not have Honor come home. He really feels like it's the right thing to do because he can't take having her taken from him again. He has a consultation this morning for surgery. He has a hernia and it needs to be fixed. Hopefully they can get him in soon as it's been giving him some problems.

I have my third day blood draw on Wednesday and need to make an appointment for the uterine dye test for sometime next week. We will try and get Bob to give his sample this Saturday.

Right now I feel a nap calling me. Hopefully I will feel less queasy after I sleep.

About Me

Welcome. My name is Amy. I am married to a hunky guy named Bob. We live in Minneapolis with our 3(you read that right) cats and 1 crazy dog. This is my space to rant, write, whine, and work things out in my brain. Your comments are welcome as long as you are not a troll and don't leave assvice. Read on!