Is it not just as unfair for her to ask me to make myself be satisfied with monogamy as it is for me to try and force her into polyamory? Where is the compromise?

Well, the relationship she entered into with you and agreed to was a monogamous one. You may have changed your mind and may not be happy with monogamy any more but that doesn't make it unfair that she may not change her mind. It may be unfortunate, but it certainly isn't unfair. What is more unfair is putting your wife between a rock and a hard place by forcing her to choose between having a marriage with you and opening up that marriage.

It could very well be that as she learns more and gets used to the idea, she may be ok with it. But it won't be unfair to you if she isn't. To think so is rather selfish from my point of view. Redpepper put it best: It's her journey and you should honor that.