You don't notice the coincidence? So many former players in trouble. Is there something about you that might cause this kind of anti-social behavior? Such as, they spend their entire careers beating each other up? They live in a state of perpetual rage? You don't think the sport might have something to do with their conduct?

If I may, sir. I blame the media. It is the press' fault. They make these guys heroes, and they won't leave them alone when they make a mistake.

Is Ken Behring a hero?

Hardly, sir. Ken Behring is an owner.

And this owner is being sued for sexual harassment?

That's a pending litigation, your honor. I can't comment.

But Lawrence Phillips, he is a hero.

Well, we hope he will be. He hasn't played a down yet in the NFL.

But already he has apparently violated his probation for assaulting a college girlfriend. Let's see. Speeding. On a flat tire, no less. Blood alcohol twice the legal limit. And you hired him anyway. Yes. It looks like he will fit right in to the NFL.

It's just a misdemeanor, sir.

No. It's another misdemeanor. There is a difference. Now, what about Donnell Woolford? He's an active player. And Marvin Jones. And Bam Morris. And Lamar Thomas.

Lamar Thomas?

Charged with beating his pregnant girlfriend.

Oh, that Lamar Thomas.

And Leslie Shepherd. Punched a woman in the nose. And an unnamed group in Ft. Wayne charged with rape. And, ah, yes. Michael Irvin. All are active players.