ugh

March11th,2009

I’m experiencing my first period since the miscarriage. I’m amazed at not only how much I HATE PERIODS, but also by how much I am affected by the fact that I shouldn’t even be having a period right now. I can remember feeling this frustration after losing James & Jake. It sucks.

It more than sucks.

I’m emotional and in pain, I’m tired and grouchy and I’d really just like to cry in the corner with a big box of teddy grahams in my hands.

I’m sorry. A period is sucky enough alone, without all the other circumstances. I hope today is a better today… and if you have to cry in the corner with your box of teddy grahams, I think that’s okay, too.

For me, it was a disappointing reminder of what had happened and that the tiny hope I clung to that there had been some mistake and everything was fine..was gone. It was a very emotional time, and you know, it still is-every month. It’s like a reminder I can’t ever escape, until menopause maybe. I feel for you.

It does suck! I won’t say I know exactly how you feel because everyone’s situation is different. But I have had 3 miscarriages and by the third I was pretty bitter. But we now have a wonderful little 20 month old girl. But those other three miscarriage still really hurt!

Oh evil periods! They suck! =( I hope you have some ice cream with the graham crackers or at least some coffee to dip them in! Remember recovery/healing is a journey that begins with one step. One step at a time Beth!

Unfortunately, the period is complicating everything. It’s good (they are necessary), it’s bad (cramps..I really do remember..yuck) and it sabotages your emotions. But it will go away. So go ahead, have the Teddy Grahams, sit in the corner, and if you want, I’ll hold you and rock you. And we’ll get through this.
But I know. Right now it sucks.

If money were no object I’d love to go back pack around Eroupe with my hubby and kids AND take them all to Disney World or Disney Cruise. Man, that would be SO awesome. I hope you have a great break!! I am finally feeling caught up on work today and decided that this weekend will be a break for me too