Balancing Self-Acceptance & Self-Improvement

Sunday Secrets – Day 7.

Every day since maybe the 3rd, I’ve had to go back and look at what number the day before was so I could title my posts. I just realized that I could have been using the date. I’m a moron.

Anyway, I’m a big fan of Postsecret. I’m also a fan of myself (at least I’m honest about it, right?) and making lists. I realized that most people who read this regularly don’t know me for real-for real, so I figured this would be a good day to make a list of secrets and not-so-secrets for your reading pleasure

1. I wasn’t fat until the end of Kindergarten.

This was the first thing I saw tonight. It made me nervous.

2. I’m a huge hypochondriac. During my Abnormal Psychology class, I had to try to space out during the lecture that included hypochondria because I didn’t want to hear the examples and feel like I had all those diseases, too. I also had to stop watching House because I was having panic attacks. True story.

3. I can play exacly one song on the ukulele. That song is Bad Romance by (my best friend) Lady Gaga.

4. I really was a terrible person all through middle and high school. I don’t know how I got to be so awesome when I graduated and went to college, but I did. I’m not trying to be cocky, but really. I’m way cooler now. It’s almost kind of funny. My sister and I joke that since she was popular and well known in high school, she’s going to be the geek no one likes in college. I think that might be why she hasn’t gone yet.

5. I really want to retry the C25k program. I think I might be able to do it now if I can push through that first week. I just don’t know when I’d be able to do it. I really hate having to work at 7:30 and getting home when it’s dark out. I live in the middle of nowhere. Walking in the dark is not a good idea.

6. One of my ultimate goals is to be a roller derby girl. Tonight, I went skating with my sister and her friend from work. Big mistake. I’m horrible at it. I shuffle my feet and can’t quite get the idea of, y’know, skating. I step. And wobble. But I don’t fall because I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to get my ass back up if I do, so I’m ultra careful about not falling, whatever the cost. But yeah. I’m probably never going to do derby because I will never ever be able to skate.

7. I never make New Years resolutions. I claim that I don’t, at least. I made a goal last year (not a resolution) to read 52 books this year. I believe I’m on book 48 right now. I think I’m going to do fine. The year before that, my best friend at the time told me she was giving up pop (not soda. Stop calling it that.) so I decided I was going to see if I could go longer than she could. I th0ught it would last two weeks at most. I ended up going the whole year. My first carbonated beverage after that was a raspberry Italian soda at the coffee kiosk I worked at. It burned really bad. I still don’t like anything with carbonation. Unless I’m eating a hot dog. Hot dogs deserve a Sprite.

8. I really think that Will Smith and I are destined to be friends one day. I’ve thought this since I was 10. I used to write him letters all the time. Like once a week for months. It’s been 15 years and he hasn’t responded. I wonder why. Maybe he’s busy or creeped out or both.

9. I have God issues. My beliefs fluctuate constantly. I was conditioned by my former super-crazy church to think that this is horribly wrong and that God hates me for it. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that this is totally normal and not bad at all. I’m really messed up spiritually and emotionally from the church I went to. It took moving 600 miles away for four years to realize that. I think I’m getting better, though. I’m at a stable, normal Methodist church instead of an insane non-denominational-but-still-funded-by-the-Pentecostals one. It’s leveling me out a lot.

10. I don’t have many friends. It’s true. I’m pretty close to friendless now that I’m not in college. It’s incredibly weird going from having lots of people to hang out with every day to just my family. I guess that’s part of growing up, though.

There. 10 secrets and not-so-secrets.

Foodwise, today: Did splendidly.

Workout: I’m counting the skating as my workout, even if I didn’t do much. I was sweating just after my first shuffle around. I don’t know how people do that all day.