177509: Spending Time Only Working

My husband works 7 days a week for many hours, and my twin babies and I never get any time with him. I’m wondering what Islam says about spending time with your wife and children instead of always wanting more and more money?

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

The basic Islamic principle with regard to the relationship
between the spouses is that it should be based on each treating the other
with kindness, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning):

“Live with them in accordance with what is fair and kind”

[an-Nisa’ 4:19].

“So each spouse must treat the other with kindness and good
companionship, refraining from harm or annoyance, not withholding rights
when able to fulfil them and not showing resentment when doing so; rather he
or she should do that cheerfully and willingly, and not follow it up with
reminders of the favour given or annoyance, because this is part of the kind
treatment that is enjoined.

End quote from al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 41/310

Secondly:

Part of fair and kind treatment is for the husband to spend
some of his time, money and efforts on what his wife and children need to
take care of them and look after them and check on them. This does not have
a specific limit; rather it varies according to differences between people
and their circumstances. The general guideline is that he should look after
them with regard to that which Allah has enjoined upon him of caring for
them, looking after them and maintaining them.

If the husband has obtained what is sufficient for him and
his dependents of provisions and maintenance, then what is required of him
is that his pursuit of further wealth and provisions should only come after
he has fulfilled his duties towards his wife and children.

Al-Bukhaari (1975) and Muslim (1159) narrated that ‘Abdullah
ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to me: “Your body has
a right over you, your eyes have a right over you, your wife has a right
over you and your guests have a right over you.”

At-Tirmidhi (3895) narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her) that she said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him) said: “The best of you is the best of you to his
family, and I am the best of you to my family.” Classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘, 5625

As-Sindi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

What is meant is that good treatment of one’s family is among
the things that are required in Islam; the one who attains this
characteristic is among the best in this regard. And it may be that the one
who attains it is superior in other righteous deeds too so that he becomes
the best in general terms.

End quote from Haashiyat as-Sindi ‘ala Sunan Ibn Maajah,
1/609

But our advice to you is to be patient with your husband and
to take is easy with him and be a help to him, not against him. Make him
aware of your and your children’s need for him, and let him know that that
is more important and is better in your opinion than extra wealth and a life
of luxury. And we ask Allah to create lasting harmony between you.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked:

There are some young men – may Allah guide them – who are
committed to Islam but they do not treat their wives with kindness; they
spent all their time doing many things that have to do with study and work,
whilst leaving their wives on their own or with the children in the house
for long hours on the grounds that they have work and study. What do you say
about that; should study and work be at the expense of the wife’s share of
the husband’s time?

He replied:

There is no doubt that it is obligatory for husbands to treat
their wives with kindness, because Allah, may He be glorified and exalted,
says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Live with them in accordance with what is fair and kind”

[an-Nisa’ 4:19]

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as
regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over
them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable, but men
have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty,
All-Wise”

[al-Baqarah 2:228].

So what is prescribed for young men and others is to treat
their wives with kindness, show compassion towards them and keep company
with them according to what they are able to do; if it is possible for them
to do some of their studying and work at home, then that is better so that
they may spend some time in the company of their wives and children.

Whatever the case, what is prescribed is for the husband to
devote some of his time to his wife so as to keep her company and show her
kindness, especially if she is on her own in the house with no one else but
her children or no one else at all. The Prophet (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) said: “The most perfect of the believers in faith are
those who are best in attitude, and the best of you are those who are best
to their womenfolk.” And what is prescribed for the wife is to help her
husband in his study and work and to be patient in putting up with
unavoidable shortcomings that may occur, so as to achieve cooperation
between them, acting in accordance with the words of Allah (interpretation
of the meaning):

“”Help you one another in Al-Birr and At-Taqwa (virtue,
righteousness and piety)

[al-Maa’idah 5:3]

and in accordance with the general meaning of the words of
the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) “Whoever meets the
needs of his brother, Allah will meet his needs.” Saheeh – agreed upon.