Date: Mon, 09 Jun 2003 06:44:22 -0700
From: dude sweet
Subject: twelve miles of boners
Believe it or not, I was working on a project in Social Studies which led me
to jacking off. It was on population and feeding the world. Boring right?
Not exactly. It got me to thinking about everybody, and the number of kids.
I mean if there are 6 billion people, how many 13 year old boys are there?
So I look up average life span. 74 years for men. 6 billion divided by
74 is about 81 million. Half of them are boys so, I estimate there are 40
million 13 year old boys in the world. That's a lot of horney boys!
Thinking about 40 million other horney 13 years old boys, gave me wood.
Hard wood. I try to adjust my boner, but its to hard to move. So I put my
hands down my pants, I mean what else could I do, it was about to bust out
of my pants like the Hulk busting out of his clothes. While my hand is in
there, I give my dick a few squeezes. Now I had been jacking off for a few
months but it was always in my room or the bathroom. Here I was with my
hand down my pants in the family room on the computer with my sister and mom
at home somewhere. I quickly pull my hand out.
I dive back into my report. But my mind wanders. Hey I had a boner. All the
blood was going to my dick instead of my brain. I wonder, how many of those
13 year old boys have a boner right now, when I have a boner? Well I get
boners popping up all the time, so I would guess maybe at least 1 hour a
day. That's 4% of the day. 4% of 40 million means that right now 160,000
other horney 13 year old boys got boners like mine. Shit that's a lot of
boners. Ok my dick is almost 5 inches. I figure 4-1/2 inches times 160,000
boners is 760,000 inches of boners. That's 63,333 feet of 13 year old
boners. Shit.
I go to a measurement web site to see the number of feet in a mile, cause I
forgot. Oh. My God. Right now, at this exact minute, there are 12 miles of
boner dicks from 13 year olds. I look around and open my zipper. I pull my
potion of the 12 miles out of my pants. It wants to see the computer
screen. It wants to see what I'm writing about. 12 miles of boner. Wow!
It makes me super hella horney. I start to jack it. Yeah, just like your
doing right now. I know you are, come one, admit it.
How many of those 12 miles are being jacked right now? Well that's easy. I
jack at least 15 minutes a day. At least. So right now there are 40,000
other 13 years old boys jacking their dicks to. God that's cool. I jack
faster. I can see all 40,000 of them jacking to. Man, this is cool Jacking
off with 40,000 other guys my age. I come.
My mom walks in.
Fuck.
I pull over my shirt, but its to late. She saw me. She say my dick. My
boner. My sperms. I'm so dead. I can't look at her, but I can tell she's
looking at me. She looks on the screen. There's nothing there but the
measurement that 5280 feet = 1 mile. She probably thinks I'm a math pervert
jacking off to formulas.
"When your father gets home, I want you to talk to him about...this."
What? I have to tell my dad that my mom cot me jacking? Shit. Can't she
just tell on me? I have to tell him? Fuck. What was I thinking? What the
hell was I doing? I'm mad at my stupid dick for getting so horney and
making me jack it.
She walks out of the room. I stuff my shrivled spermy dick back in my
pants. I sneak to the bathroom as invisible as possible and clean up. I go
to my room to change, cause sperms shot everyone. God what the hell am I
supposed to say to my dad. I'm afraid to get my homework from the family
room. I'm afraid to leave my room. I'm afraid of everything. I shut my
door and lay on my bed, crying. What am I gonna do? I try to go to sleep to
hide from the world, but I can't. All I can think about is what a bad boy I
have been. I will be so grounded. Till I'm 18 probably. Or longer. No
they can't do longer. I run a thousand punishments through my mind. What if
they make me get a operation and cut off my dick? What if they tell
everyone? What if...my door opens. Its my dad. I sit up on my bed. He sits
down on my bed.
"What is it your supposed to tell me?" God, how am I gonna tell him? What
should I say? I have to say something. I open my mouth. Thank god, words
come out.
"I was...mom came in...I was...she saw me...I won't do it again I promise."
"What happened?" he yells getting pissed.
"I was playing with myself in the family room." Silence. "And mom came
in." More silence. I don't think this is gonna work.
"What happened? This is your last chance to tell me everything. I mean
everything." Yeah he was mad. Somehow, I managed to tell him the whole
story, the social studies, the number of 13 year olds, thinking about 12
miles of boners. Everything.
I think telling my dad was even more embarrassing than getting cot by my
mom. That was horrible, but it only lasted a second. This took 5 minutes
to tell.
"There is a time and place for everything. Is the family room the place for
masturbating?"
"No."
"And is doing your homework the time for masturbating?"
"No."
"When and where is the right time and place?" What? I'm confused. "When is
it ok to masturbate?" he asks.
"In the bathroom?" I offer.
"Are you sure?" No.
"Uh, my room, when nobody is around?"
"This is not going to happen again, is it?"
"No." No, its not going to happen again, cause I'm never going to jackoff
again. Ever. I will give it up.
"Ok." He gets up to leave. What? That's it? Were done? What's my
punishment? Is he still mad? This is so confusing.
"Thanks dad." He smiles, close my door and leaves. I don't think I
understand parents. I'm sure I don't understand parents. Life is weird.
When you think your gonna be punished for life, nothing happens.
That night, I forget my promise to never jack off again and think about the
12 miles of boners and other 40,000 13 year old boys who are jacking with me
right now.
I wonder how many of them got caught?