“According to family legend, when my great-great-great aunt was in her thirties, she sat down at the breakfast table and her husband drove a nail though the back of her skull and then buried her in the backyard.”

And that’s why I’ve hidden all the hammers on the roof, Victor. I’m saving you from yourself. And I’m also saving me from yourself. We’re both benefitting. Stop asking about the hammers. The hammers are gone.

**************

And in other news, it’s Sunday, which means its time for the weekly wrap-up:

What you missed in my shop (Named “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Depending on whether the sentence can start on the previous page, mine are:
“Physicians wishing to treat those whom they diagnosed as neurasthenic needed to acquire a good deal of personal information and constantly consider that their patient’s nervous exhaustion was, as one physician observed, ‘compatible with the appearance of perfect health.'”
Or:
“Beard himself was especially adamant on this particular point.”

I think I like the Beard one better, but the first one might be more weirdly accurate.

The book nearest to me is called All My Friends Are Dead. It’s hysterical and I highly recommend it but I don’t know that I even want to look in it to see the future of my love life. I can almost guarantee a bad situation…..

Mine is: “With the arrival of Schoonmaker’s apprentice, Iris becomes, if not happier, at least less self-conscious, because Caspar doesn’t seem to notice her sorry looks.” – Gregory Maguire, Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister.

“…which seemed very yellow and large set in the bright red plumage of his head.” – Drift House: The First Voyage by Dale Peck. Obviously my love life is just as colorful and confusing at this sentence. Or maybe it’s a sign I should start dating Carrot Top…

“Although there are any number (an infinite number) of things you might want to do, effects you might want to achieve, two are general enough to serve as a basic classification and as a port of entry into the wonderful world of sentences.” (p.45) – How to Write a Sentence and How to Read One, Stanley Fish. LOL I’d say it fits perfectly just substitute sentences with the word sex. 😉

“She was out on her old 1958 tractor, bushogging the sides of her long driveway.”
-A Whisker of Evil by Rita Mae & Sneaky Pie Brown
I have no idea what this says about my love life. Translation, please?

Can I get the Nothing some Hard Liquor and Hammer Won’t Fix in a maternity shirt? I really want to wear it to brunch with my in-laws. You know, after they get out of church, and I pry my fat pregnant ass off the couch.

Personally, I’d have hidden the nails because any object with a hard, flat surface can be used to knock them in.

The closest book to me was an AMA Home Medical Encyclopaedia (A-H) that was published in 1989. “Educational programs have advocated following ‘safe’ sex practices and, for intravenous drug users, ensuring that needles and syringes are sterile, in the hope that it may control or reduce the risk of infection”. Does this mean I should stay single? I’m so confused.

“Initially developed as medications to induce sleep, barbiturates today continue to be used as sedating drugs to help those with difficulty sleeping.” From my addiction counseling textbook. Not sure what to make of that one.

At the kitchen table, the closet book to me is an older version of the Wilton Method of Cake Decorating Lesson Plan for Course I. I turned to page 45 and it is 2 practice sheets; the first, is swirls and curves and stars. The second says, “Happy Birthday”(print), “Congratulations”, “Happy Birthday” (cursive) and finally, “Best Wishes”. Nothing I can relate to a love life, unless the “Congratulations” is a predictive statement. In that case, awesome. However, I can tell you that today is actually my birthday so the coincidence is uncanny. Hmmmm…I better go shower in case I meet someone today.

From “Before You Leap: A Frog’s Eye View of Life’s Greatest Lessons” by Kermit The Frog: “The first thing we needed was a place to do the show.” Eep! Perhaps I’m more of an exhibitionist than I thought. OTOH, it may be telling me I really should sell my house and go get a condo downtown. Location is everything.

The nearest book to me is The Oxford Bible Commentary (don’t ask). The first sentence on page 45 is: “The story is of course significant in that this is the earliest instance in Genesis of death and also of violence committed by one human being against another.” I AM NEVER DATING AGAIN.

“I keep watching him as he searches, and for some reason, he looks different than he did just hours ago.”
Which raises questions. What is he searching for? Why am I watching and not helping? What is he becoming, that he looks so different through the hours? Should I run?

I tweeted this to you a while back please tell me you saw it and felt cool… and copied and pasted from my Facebook since twitter won’t let me have this many characters…

I just want to see who of my friends actually have books

Mine: First book I picked up… In this garb he proceeded along the banks of Euphrates, filled with despair, and secretly accusing providence, which thus continued to persecute him with unremitting severity. ~Zadig, or Fate, by Voltaire

Since that wasn’t ideal, second book I picked up… Instead of Sweet Valley High, I read books about zombies and vampires. ~Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson

“…seeing naught but the perils already passed, so the wisdom of man doth not enable him to avoid the follies that beset his course, but only to apprehend their nature afterward.” Sir James Merivale. Well, that says it all.

“In every triangle, the sum of the lengths of two sides is always greater than the length of the third.”
Triangles, lengths, and my love life…and they say geeks are boring!
Machinery’s Handbook, 25th edition, pg.45

Cmon now, you have to be happy that the same people who read your book also reads Voltaire. It would have been from “A Biography of Zero” (I know that should be italicized or underlined) if the kids didn’t take it first. This should at least please Victor that your reading base has an IQ.

Don’t think I ever got around to reading this one.. it’s sitting on top of the pile of stuff by my computer.. “Before I say Good-Bye”.. Shortly after they met, Cornelius MacDermott had laughingly observed, “Adam, you’re a prime example of the differences between appearance and reality.”

“Still, seven thousand dollars was not bad for a walk around the corner.”

This is why I have missed the Bloggess on WordPress. How else would I understand my love live? (But not really, because as parents of a young child, neither my boyfriend nor I get laid often enough to have a relationship based solely on commerce and sex.)

“Once they had cultivated a quagga chromosome out of DNA recovered from hair and other remains, they injected it into the enucleated zebra egg, then put the egg back into a surrogate zebra mother.”
-From Ancestor<\i> by Scott Sigler

Closest book to me was Jeff Smith’s Bone Vol. 1: Out From Boneville. First sentence on the page, “Why, yes!”
Second closest book was Dominic Deegan – Oracle for Hire The Complete Series Vol. 1. Bit tedious to find page 45 since the pages aren’t numbered, but from what I deduced as the correct page, first sentence was, “What’s wrong with YOU, four-eyes?”

Großtante not Grobtante. Groß! the ß is a special German character and phonetically it would be translated into GROSStante (which I am sure you appreciate even more making it your gross aunt :P.
(I can sort of top that, I did it a while ago and my book was Gulp, by Mary Roach. The memorable line was: ” To experience taste, the molecules of the tastant – the thing one is tasting – need to dissolve in liquid “. )

The last generation to wear suits as they went about this work, they had money in their pockets and knew how to spend it — it’s from “The Enduring Saga of the Smiths”. I’m bummed it wasn’t a snarky Morrissey quote. And that Skeletor Facebook page is amazing.

“But Marianne could no more satisfy him as to the color of Mr. Willoughby’s pointer than he could describe to her the shades of his mind.”

As it happens…Daughter is reading Sense and Sensibility for school, so the book was sitting next to the computer. My mom choose the spelling of my name from the character “Marianne” in this book.
It’s all kinda weird, huh? Not sure how much sense the quote makes in regards to my love life?

I was going to run away today but I had no clean pants, so I’ve locked myself in the bedroom instead, giving me plenty of time to enjoy all your links to cool stuff. No, I’m not a teenager. I’m a happily married mom with a successful career. But I imagine if anyone can relate to my attitude today it’s you or your other readers. You’ve all been here before, right?

“18th May 1907 – I began to wonder whether the fairies are taking their revenge upon me.”

From: Lady Cottingham’s Pressed Fairy Book

It’s a diary of a young girl that decides to press fairies (instead of flowers). The morbid (and by morbid, I mean awesome) smeary drawings of the fairies last moments—as they were smashed between the pages—are fantastic. So, of course, it’s my coffee table book.

Regenbogen: pluvius H, caelestis Al; [auch ohne Attr.] If I translate the German parts to English, that gives: 2. Ranbow: pluvius H, caelestis Al; [also without attribute.] I was kinda worried when I saw that the book closest to me was my Latin to German dictionary, but rainbow? That acutally sounds good!

“She has always been good at biding her time.” The Stand by Stephen King. Coulda been worse considering the author but my future love life…damn I was hoping for a little more action. Damn you Stephen King. Now excuse me while I go check out all my books to find a better outcome.

I got this: “Most of the corn as it was husked was tossed into a pile, to be borne later to the village.” I have no idea what this says about my sex life. This is what I get for having a fascination with historical ethnographies. (This was from “Buffalo-bird Woman’s Garden” by Gilbert L. Wilson, published by the Minnesota Historical Society.)

By way of allegory – the device by which literal meaning of the text implies a figurative or “hidden” meaning – Plato describes a group of ordinary mortals chained within an underground chamber (the psyche imprisoned within the human body).

More than any other factor, vision affects the choices we make and the way we spend our time. I’ve got Stephen covey on my desk right now because I am trying to pick up a habit that will make me more effective. I think it might not be working since I made a choice to forego my to do list and I’ve spent my entire morning surfing the net.

Earle was still setting with Sookie, trying his best to calm her down, but he was having no luck. ~ The All-Girls Filling Station’s Last Reunion, Fannie Flagg.
Well, my husband does spend a good deal of time calming me down…Or trying to…

“If you keep a steady determination and stick with that purpose, you will know how to use that choice and control your consciousness so unwanted thoughts don’t come to you anymore.” Little Voice Mastery

I wasn’t going to play, but mine’s hysterical, so I have to: The end of the previous page’s sentence is (sticking messages inside a pudding?), but pg 45’s 1st sentence is – “They would get all goopy that way.” Goopy; Super sexy. (ugh)

“There was a knock on the door and Bond looked up, irritated, and Araminta Beauchamp stepped in.” – Solo, William Boyd
Damn, my name isn’t Araminta Beauchamp but it would appear James Bond is irritated with her anyway. I might have a chance.
I think another interpretation of your page 45 sentence could be you’re going to get nailed – wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more!
Sorry to those offended, I don’t always have good self censoring.

“Now, it was just th efunction of our interface desiderata (IIIb), (IIIc) to make these probability assignments completely ‘objective’ in the sense that they are independent of the personality of the user.” (“Probability Theory: The Logic of Science,” E. T. Jaynes)
(I have no idea what this means– my husband and I share a desk, and he’s at the reading stage while I’m at the writing stage…)

The book closest to me is a training manual, and page 45 is kevcompletely blank to allow for note taking. So I guess the first line is either nothing or something I have to do myself. Which is remarkably accurate.

The nearest book happens to be your book so: “Instead of Sweet Valley High, I read books about zombies and vampires.”

If we look at the last book I read, that would be The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe which is a bit complicated because it’s an eBook. Using Amazon Cloud Reader, I get: “‘Why?’ asked Marvin dolefully.” Somehow that sounds very profound in a “I’m not sure what it really means” sort of way. (Kind of like 42.)

I tried this, and the closest book to me was a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It said, “Absolutely pointless, seeing as your mother’s charm does that already.” I have no idea what to make of this.

The closest book to me was a British copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly hallows. It read, “Absolutely pointless, seeing as your mother’s charm does that already.” I have no idea what to make of this.

LMAO– I’m reading a dirty book and it’s pretty accurate. All I know is I really need to go get your book after reading that one snippet- I’m like the last person of my friends that hasn’t read it yet. Sorry I didn’t buy it yet– but I bought a damn mug so I still love you and that’s proof!

LOL, HILARIOUS–“You don’t want to require an increasing amount of financial pressure to motivate you toward good choices.” Pocket your dollars: 5 attitude changes that will help you pay down debt, avoid financial stress, and keep more of what you make, by Carrie Rocha

“Currently a branch of Chase Bank, the former Salinas Valley Savings & Loan in San Jose, constructed in 1961, has been through so many incarnations that initially it seemed impossible to track it’s origins”. Mid-Century By The Bay by Heather M. David

My nearest book was an illustrated cookbook: Roots – The Definitive Compendium. Page 45 says, “I prefer to roast beets, rather than boil or steam them.” I think my husband would prefer I did NOT roast, boil OR steam his beets.

Mine was, “when the amount of dough is too much for your machine, process by halves or thirds, and combine for the final hand kneading”. Which feels sadly/oddly right on about the state of my marriage…

The book closest to me is a book of postcards called “Grandma’s Dead: Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals.” Page 45 postcard is a cute puppy in a basket and at the bottom says “You’re bad in bed”. How sad, given this is supposed to refer to my love life.

I had not yet seen this on FB and decided to play along after reading your blog post. Mine was the first book I ever read cover-to-cover – my mom’s old Dick and Jane reader copyright 1951. Page 45 reads, “Find Dick.”

“I remember something I had done in my fear landscape in Dauntless initiation …in a simulation, a woman demanded that I kill my family, and I let her shoot me instead.” {{well that leaves me feeling awkward. I mean dont get me wrong, that’s what Id do. But …my love life …umm …I dont know what to think about this. haha

“Usually it was like spillage — cold and heavy, slippery and gray — but once in a while some stars had the nerve to rise and float, if only for a few minutes.” From THE BOOK THIEF, by Markus Zusak. (My husband and I are rolling on the floor laughing at this!)

We got such a kick out of the book closest to me that my dear husband reached over to the bookshelf and grabbed the first book he touched. From THE CALL OF THE WILD, by Jack London, “Buck made his hole in the snow and slept the sleep of the exhausted just, but all too early was routed out in the cold darkness and harnessed with his mates to the sled.”

Closest book is David Baldacci’s The Sixth Man… “At the doorway there were two more guards.”
I don’t think I like the sound of that it’s like I’ve been kidnapped by a perv… probably a rich perv but still, no thanks!

The figure shows the general categories of data that might be collected over the course of the assessment and represents another way of thinking about the determinants of the health shown in Table 1-1 on page 10.—From Community Nutrition in Action, the textbook I’m reading right now.

“Even street lampss with time-ochered glass, even moonlight failed to smooth a layer of romance over the crumbling stucco, the warped clapboard, and the peeling paint of the houses in Camp’s End.” That… sounds pretty accurate…

“Harry was alternately filled with restless energy that made him unable to settle to anything, during which time he paced his bedroom, furious at the whole lot of them for leaving him to stew in this mess; and with a lethargy so complete that he could lie on his bed for an hour at a time, staring dazedly into space, aching with dread at the thought of the Ministry hearing.”

Special thanks to J.K. Rowling for the extra long sentence and the strange summation of my love life…. you had me til you mentioned the Ministry, Ms. Rowling. I think we all know ‘there’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation’! [Shout out to Pierre Trudeau for that wisdom!]

My first sentence runs over from the preceding page…
“I watched as he picked it up and leafed through the first few pages before raising his head to search the parking lot, combing the area as if he might spot either a surveillance camera or, preferably, a vanload of naked swingers pressing their bare breasts against the windows and inviting him to join the fun.” – David Sedaris, ” Naked”

“An intense upward stretch of the legs is matched by a strong downward extension of the trunk.”
Oh my, sounds fun. pg 45, first sentence, from Yoga, The Iyengar Way
This is the section on standing poses . . .

The book nearest me is an 1895 edition of Edison’s Handy Encyclopedia of General Information and Universal Atlas. There is no sentence on page 45 but the first words on the page are “Specific Gravities and Weights of Stones, Earths, Etc.”

Well this isn’t good the book nearest to me is Helen Keller’s Teacher (my kid was doing a book report on her recently).
Page 45: Why, on the record book of Tewksbury she was down as “virtually blind”.
I have no idea what to make of this lol.

Like most people (I think), I keep my books in a few select locations in my house. From where I was when I saw this, I calculated the distance to each book location, and then to the nearest book (with 45 pages…I have a number of small graphic books with fewer on display) within that collection. The “closest” book was Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons in hardcover (what? I love shitty fiction. SUE ME…THE NEXT CLOSEST BOOK WAS THE ORIGINAL FREAKONOMICS! Also I buy hardcovers so I don’t destroy them when traveling…YOU’RE WELCOME FOR BUYING YOUR HARDCOVER, JENNY!). Page 45, sentence 1: “‘Vestra was on the cutting edge of particle physics,’ he said.” Erm, with that explanation, “grand wizard of the nerds” seems appropriate…

“HANDS UP, FEET APART, MOUTHS SHUT.” I guess that’s what I get from reading stupid teenage dystopian romance. At least it gave the husband and I a really good laugh because really?!?! We have a toddler, so I don’t think any of that would happen.

One can apply to Hegel what Le Senne said of the philosophy of Hamelin: “Each of the lower terms depends on the higher term, as the abstract on the concrete which is necessary for it to realize itself.”

Hahahaha. My first sentence is: For three months this method was pursued, the doctor and patient all the time looking for “a crisis” that should bring out the “bad humors.” (Women of the Asylum: Voices From Behind the Walls, 1840-1945 by Jeffrey L Geller and Maxine Harris). Yeah..

“The wavefunction is therefore periodic in time with period 1/v, and periodic in space with period 2pi/k, which is equal to the wavelength lamda (see Fig. 2.2-2).”
Or, if textbooks don’t count:
“The answer is: he took the goat over first, and then the yam.”

A friend posted this on facebook shortly after I came out to her and several others as being asexual (despite having been in a serious relationship for several years.) My sentence is
“Why not?”
So, yeah. That pretty much sums it up…

Really wishing I hadn’t decided to start reading Grimms fairy tales last night… Ok, here goes… “But what did she see when she went in?” Ok, that doesn’t seem too bad, as long as you don’t read the next sentence and find out that what she saw was dismembered human bodies in a basin. Hmmm

When two items of equipment (DTEs) are close to one another and we only use modest bit rates, we can transmit data using two-wire open lines and simple interface circuits. (One of my husbands IT books)

Dutch book about Norway.
“Bij helder weer ziet men mijlenver over de gespleten scherengordel en de Noordzee”.
Translation:
“With clear weather, one can see miles away over the split row of little rock islands and the North sea”

“Auslese, one of the riper Pradikats in the QMP quality wine category defined by the GERMAN WINE LAW.” – Page 45 of The Oxford Companion to wine. You would think working with wine full time would be fun…& you would be wrong. It just reminds me that I have a wine exam (yes they have those) in two months time & I KNOW NOTHING!

I am a 6th grade reading teacher…I opened up the nearest book to me “The Last of the Really Great Wahangdoodles”, by Julie Andrews Edwards and my line for this was “The children hardly had time to digest this piece of information when the professor continued”…I guess I need to slow down in my teaching??

“For chemical emergency, spill, leak, fire, exposure or accident, call chemtrec – day or night 1-800-424-9300”. Wow, that IS an accurate assessment of my love life. Eerie. Maybe I should work instead of dorking around on the internet, it seems slightly less depressing after that experiment.

“Indeed, the very folly itself, while considered absolutely hideous, was welcomed as a landmark by those lost on their way home from hunting.” “The Pursuit of Love” Nancy Mitford.
The first book on stack of books that have been sitting on the back of my desk where I left them several years ago, I literally opened to page 45 without paging to it.

Sentence #1 on page #45:
It is also useful for convincing yourself to stop belittling others and for getting some help if you can’t stop yourself, as it can ruin not only others’ lives, but also your own.

“I had pushed the rock to the summit, and now it felt like I was madly trying to keep ahead of the ensuing landslide.”

I’m not sure if this is a good thing or not. However, if I’m looking for a meaningful discussion on whether this constitutes happy romantic thoughts, there’s a small chance I maybe on the wrong website.

The only book on my desk is the 2002 National Electrical Code book…..this can’t be good….Well here goes….
“Except as elsewhere required or permitted by this Code, live parts of electrical equipment operating at 50 volts or more shall be guarded against accidental contact by approved enclosures or by any of the following means:”

Nearest book
page 45
first sentence:
Be sure to list your organization’s legal name here.

Oh darn, it is worse than the National Electrical Code Book. At least with Beth’s she should not play with someone that has over 50 volts, not sure how many a human has – lets look it up. Wow she can have a love life with any human form as according to NanoMedicine a human body can only generate between 10 and 100 millivolts.

“The ability to imagine smells, in normal circumstances, is not that common – most people cannot imagine smells with any vividness, even though they may be very good at imagining sights or sounds.” Hallucinations, by Oliver Sacks.

Actually, my hair is red, waist length, and flying fuzzy and free. And what that has to do with my love life is beyond me. Probably need a palm reader, a psychologist, and a dream dictionary to help figure it out. And maybe a priest.

.”…publicly brand herself as an adulteress. Maybe Cecily, who was used to “ruling the King as she pleases”, and was incensed as his misalliance, was so hysterical with rage that she said the first thing she could think of that could hurt him–if, of course, she said anything at all..”

From Alison Weir’s bio of Elizabeth of York.

Uh. Well. I guess the ‘ruling the king as she pleases part” might apply. lol

The page labeled 45: “The Transport layer doesn’t need to use a connection-oriented service (this is up to the application developer).” This is what I get for having all of the fiction on the shelf across the room. (And for thoroughness’s sake, there was also a page xlv which had “Explain the purpose of network scanners” as the first sentence, minus the punctuation, cause it was an outline.) Hrmmmm.. They could both be taken for euphemisms, I suppose.

The book I grabbed “the book of qualities” by J. Ruth gendler. Unfortunately page 45 was a drawing so I checked out page 44. Title Jealousy jealously stands by the blue flame of the gas stove stirring obsession stew. Ya… So I tried page 46 Title Terror. (Great). Terror is stricter than my first Latin teacher. Ugh… No wonder I’m f$&@*%g single!!

The sentence I found – “Do you see what’s happening here?”
Sheesh. I’m afraid to parse that one. I suppose I can say I expected worse. The book was “Python Programming: An introduction to computer science”

” The brigadier-general was free to mentally confess, that, of all eccentric persons he had met, none was comparable to this product of the exact sciences.” – Around the world in eighty days. Ummm, yeah. Pretty much sums it up for me! My husband definitely fits that bill!

I’m reading Nelson Mandela’s Long Walk to Freedom. The first sentance on page 45 is ‘Marriages between tribes were then extremely unusual.’

I’ve racked my brains, I can’t think of anyone within my family I would want to marry. Maybe that is where my first 2 marriages went wrong; unwittingly I had married some long distance cousin or something.

“Accounting standard setters should be more accountable for their decisions because the thinking behind specific requirements should be more explicit, as should any departures from the concepts that might be included in particular accounting standards”
New Zealand financial accounting. a textbook I paid a lot of money for and opened it about 10 times… 11 now.

Coincidentally, the nearest book to me is YOURS. So my love-life is summed up by the sentence “I did mine on tattered, paperback copies of Stephen King novels that I’d borrowed from my grandmother.”
Thanks for so succinctly bringing focus to married life….
Lolololol

ahh jeez I wish I wasn’t studying accounting and my nearest book would have been so much more interesting… “Note that it is only the cost of the wrapping paper sold that is matched against (and deducted from) the sales revenue in order to find the profit, not the whole of the cost of wrapping paper acquired”

Also I just wanted to let you know that your post on depression last year deeply moved me, and I have just written my own post about my story and put a link to yours at the end for other readers to wander across to if they wish. I hope your fight is going well 🙂

I’m sitting at my desk and the nearest book is a historic structure assessment of a 1912 rail yard: “No testing has been undertaken to determine the existence of asbestos or lead paint in the building as part of this report.” Oh, fooey on that. All areas of my personal life have undergone rigorous testing for hazardous materials. I can shenanigans.

“It’s so somewhat effective that I now rely on it almost exclusively when I need to get myself to do something important.” That was Allie Brosh talking about motivating herself with fear and guilt in her book Hyperbole and a Half.

Hmm maybe this means if I am not totally in love with someone or something, my life will be meaningless and unproductive?

so i did this once at home and i had a stack of 10 books all right eqi-distant from me… they were all funny. now i am at work and the closest books are the AP style writing guide: This practice should not, however, be interpreted as a license to ignore the general practice of lower-casing common noun elements of a name when they stand alone. or Business Letters for Busy People: This letter is used as a foot in the door and to request that a potential customer help the salesperson.Great. this so describes my non-existent love life…

Just cannot resist Facebook fun! So, here it goes, His And Hers style:

Hers: I have this hand written book, a little lifeline I throw to myself, from my past self, who had her shit together at that moment. ( And it works, with or without the shot of tequila.) The cover jacket design is inscribed with “OH BOY” — (Not my idea, but a good one) — And it is a nice fat chunky book.
On page 45 my past self wrote: “MORE is (necessarily) Not Better.” Some would disagree. Take my boyfriend Van for instance.

His page 45 from a textbook at his desk: “Architectural Description identifies the system of interest whose architecture is being expressed.”

Love life explained. He certainly is interested in expressing his architecture.

Just cannot resist Facebook fun! So, here it goes, His And Hers style:

Hers: I have this hand written book, a little lifeline I throw to myself, from my past self, who had her shit together at that moment. ( And it works, with or without the shot of tequila.) The cover jacket design is inscribed with “OH BOY” — (Not my idea, but a good one) — And it is a nice fat chunky book.
On page 45 my past self wrote: “MORE is (necessarily) Not Better.” Some would disagree. Take my boyfriend Van for instance.

His page 45 from a textbook at his desk: “Architectural Description identifies the system of interest whose architecture is being expressed.”

Love life explained. He certainly is interested in expressing his architecture.

I think that book trick only works when the book near you is some sort of fiction (or at least a memoir/biography). It does not work with a federal appropriations textbook, unless your love life involves the department of homeland security and radiological disasters.

“The Chaperons emerged from the fracas triumphant, while the hostess remained contrite.” From The Deluxe Transitive Vampire: The Ultimate Handbook of Grammar for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed.

“Most of us have heard of movie critics like Roger Ebert, Joel Siegel, and Leonard Maltin, but what about David Manning of the Ridgefield Press?” – Wow… Now I’m even more confused about my love life. Or, my severe long-lasting lack of one.

The closest book is a board book called “Max Drives Away”. It has 14 pages. The next closest is “The Master and Margarita” in French (what’s with the translations?). So, it’s a quote from Faust: “Qui es-tu donc, a la fin? Je suis une partie de cette force qui, eternellement, veut le mal, et qui, eternellement, accomplit le bien.” It really doesn’t get better with translation, so let’s just leave it at that.

“The tax code dictates much longer periods to write off real estate.” (Tax Savvy for Small Business Owners)

I’m open for interpretation on that, folks.
And if we’re talking about eBooks; the screen size, resolution, font size, and window size pretty much dictate what the first sentence will be on page 45, so… not an option I guess 😉

Sadly my book didn’t have that page….it was Old MacDonald had a Farm that my son had left next to my computer. Perhaps that means that my love life is yet to be defined? Hopefully it doesn’t mean it’s nonexistent!

One of the reasons I love my life is that it took a little over a minute, and serious consideration of getting a measuring tape, to figure out which book was actually closest to me. After all that, the sentence (“‘Who brought that?’ I asked.”) was anti-climactic.

“Youth who have French as a first language and who study in francophone schools seem to feel it is more important to stage a large even including participants who might inevitably speak English at some point, rather than holding a small event completely in French.” (Nilan & Feixa)

I’m not sure how to interpret this. Am I destined for international love, or should I invite many participants rather than embrace monogamy? Oh academic reading.

hmmmm…”Take the butter goo from earlier and rub it over the sides and top of the loaf.” hmmm….strangely enough I can see a corellation to my love life. (from…The Sweet Potato Queens Big-Ass Cookbook and Financial Planner)

“I listened to what she said, but it didn’t process”. So true. I am a terrible listener and taker of advice, I just wing it and do everything my own way. Sometimes that’s good, other times not so much.

(From Hooked on Murder, a book combining crochet and mystery detection)

Well mine was, “Ensure that you know all of the grammar for section 1E, especially the forms of uolo and fero and the endings of all imperatives.” My husband’s was, “It would put spotter aircraft in the vicinity of his crime,” Not sure whether this says more about our love life, the concept of the game, or what the hell kind of books we have on our coffee table.

OK, I’ll bite, so here’s mine (from The Quantum Universe: Everything That Can Happen Does Happen):
“We’ve now set up a framework within which we can explore quantum theory in detail.”
So invoking Schrödinger’s cat maybe I’m both in a relationship and not in a relationship as long as I don’t look at it (too hard?!).

Oh dear, I can’t even type this properly: Assume that an infinite sheet of electric surface current density J[bar; sub-s] = J[sub-o]x[hat] A/m is placed on the z=0 plane between free-space for z<0, and a dielectric with epsilon = epsilon [sub-r]epsilon[sum=0] for z>0.

hmmm, not sure what this says about my relationships, I’m going to cut off their heads or are they cutting off mine?
From Zealot by Reza Aslan:
“Indeed, Jesus may have regularly set eyes upon the man who would one day cut off the head of his friend and mentor, John the Baptist, and seek to do the same to him.”

the closest book to me at the moment is my Criminal Justice book, so this isn’t sounding promesing. lets see pg 45.
“Another sociologist, American Robert K. Merton, expanded on Durkeim’s ideas in his own theory of strain.”
umm what does this say about my love life?

I don’t know why a Mexican cookbook was next to the keyboard, but the first sentence on p. 45 says: “These are the most attractive salsa flavors I know: tangy (almost citrusy) from the tomatillos, smoky and hot from the chipotles, and sweetly aromatic from the roasted garlic.”

I like mine, though I don’t know what it says about my love life. “Lulu had photographed them all, the saints and the sinners, watched over by the patron saint of the city, Saint Francis of Assisi, from his shrine down on Vallejo Street.” (Ripper, Isabel Allende)

“Ah, you rascal, you rascal! I’ll get the better of you!” ejaculated Selifan as he sat up and gave the lazy one a cut with his whip.
Uh…I guess that’s what I get for reading 19th century Russian literature. From Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol.

OK, this is good. It’s “Banksy – Wall and Piece”. Page 45 is a picture, captioned “Council House, Bristol 2001”. The first sentence on the facing page is “Wearing your jeans two sizes too big so they hang low off your ass in a gangsta fashion was invented in Los Angeles”.

” In myth and story we find that the consequences for and entity attempting to break, bend or alter the operating mode of The Ineffable is to be chastened, either by having to endure diminished ability in the world of mystery and magic- such as apprentices who are no longer allowed to practice – or lonely exile from the land of the Gods, or a similar loss of grace and power through bumbling, crippling, or death.” Sheesh. I don’t think I should have participated….

Ok I know these comments are old but I have to share. I love you and read you religiously. What this usually means is I’m huddled in bed and crying I’m laughing so hard, tears streaming down my face while my husband tries to discern what’s happening with me. This morning, he references the term “junk o’clock”. We ponder where on earth we heard that. My lovely husband says I found it hysterical and I told him about it. This leads me to the only place that I would have found “junk oclock”, your blog. Now, you have a wonderfully handy search bar and I search “junk o’clock”. Lo and behold, it brings me to the exact thread it’s on, and the best part, it’s not even yours, it’s a blog post you referenced on Sunday wrap up!

Bruce encouraged me to speak up about everything, to say what I liked and didn’t. (from God Never Blinks by Regina Brett)

Um. Hmm. I like everything but the Bruce part. There’s no way I’m getting involved with a Bruce. (Not because of any like or dislike of the name, but I don’t think there are all that many women named Bruce.)