2Give up on negative self-talk

The most destructive force in the universe is the person you see in the mirror. Negative self-talk can have such a hold on you and your psyche that it can literally destroy you.

Don’t hurt yourself by having a negative, destructive and self-defeating mindset. Don’t believe yourself all the time. Often you are lying to yourself.

The truth is that you are more than what your negative mind tells you.

“It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways” – Buddha

3Give up the need for validation

Many people go through life trying to impress others constantly. Their whole lives revolve around impressing others.

People will often change their look and personality just to have a better appeal to others.

Unfortunately, trying to get validation from others has never made anyone happier so stop trying so hard to impress others. Take off your mask and let the world see who you truly are. Embrace the real you and let your lovely mannerism, warm heart and kindness speak out. Give yourself the chance to impress others by being you.

“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken” – Oscar Wilde.

4Give up attachment

As soon as you are ready to understand the world around you, you’ll find yourself looking for attachment. Most of the time, it is presented as love.

From early on, we learn to attach ourselves to family, jobs, friends, and to one special person. If you want to become happier, detach yourself from all of these people. Keep in mind that detaching from your loved ones doesn’t mean you don’t love them anymore. Love and attachment actually have nothing to do with each other.

Love is a kind of selfless act where you would treat others the same way you would like to be treated. Love comes from a place of kindness, joy, happiness, empathy, while attachment comes from a place of fear of not wanting or being able to do something. You might not fully grasp this at first, but keep practicing and, soon enough, you’ll learn how to let go of attachment.

“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached.” – Simone Weil

5Never place your worth on your career

Have you met someone whose whole life revolves around his career?

There are literally thousands of people like that walking around. These people try really hard to please their bosses in every possible way.

Yes, we all need to work to survive and feed our families. Often, this also involves relying on someone else for recognition and approval. In general, there is nothing wrong with these things.

The problem starts when we base our happiness solely on our employer’s validation. Basing your happiness on external validation is a sure way to become unhappy because you are letting your employer decide your value.

Instead, don’t wait for your bosses’ validation. Validate yourself every day and tell yourself how good you are with your job.

What if you don’t get the promotion you worked so hard for? You are going to be tanked, aren’t you?

“Expectations feed frustration. It is an unhealthy attachment to people, things and outcomes we wish to control; but don’t” – Steve Maraboli

6Let go of the past

Often times, when things don’t seem to go as planned, we look back at the past and regret our decisions. These actions contribute more to our unhappiness.

Instead of looking back, it’s better if we let it go. It will be hard, but you have to realize that there is nothing you can do to change the past.

“To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it…it’s over. It can hurt you no more.” – Mandy Hale.

7Give up future results

Remember the last time you reached your goal?

You feel successful, confident, smart and very proud of yourself. Reaching a goal, especially a major one, makes you feel extreme happiness. However, this amazing feeling is often soon gone.

But, what happens if we try and never reach our goals?

We usually get very disappointed and give it all up. We feel like failures. Despite that, you should learn how to take pride in the knowledge that you tried and tried really hard.

Understand that setting goals is a good thing, but don’t base your happiness only on that goal. Take action towards it but make sure your happiness won’t suffer if you fail to achieve it.

“Happy people plan action they don’t plan results” – Dennis Wholey

8Give up the expectation of a perfect partner

As we grow up, we start to establish what we consider as an ideal partner. We even fantasize about how the person should walk, what job he should have and, most important of all, what his character is. We immediately reject someone who doesn’t fit our perfect picture.

But, the truth is, there is no perfect person on this planet. We are all born with flaws.

Instead of concentrating on your partner’s flaws, just realize that it may be their characteristic that is showing. People’s characteristics make them who they are and in no way should you ever strive to change that. Trying to change someone else is a sure way to destroy a relationship.

Instead, embrace your partner for who he is. Accept your partner 100% as you would wish to be accepted.

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love“– Tom Robbins

9Don’t resist change

Even though change is a vital part of our lives, we still fear it so much. In reality, however, change is actually good. It will help you grow and transform into a better human being. Instead of fearing it, change should be embraced without any resistance.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls’ Joseph Campbell

A happy life is not something that falls out of the sky or that we get by being around other people or having a relationship. A happy life is one we create. Use these tips and start cultivating your happy life today.

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Dumb Little Man is a popular online magazine on self-improvement and life hacks. Started back in 2006, Dumb Little Man has become the go-to place when you need inspiration, motivation and practical advice in life.