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True Blood: Whoa, I Never Thought This Couple Would Happen. Plus, Russell's Back!

As per usual with True Blood there were a lot of twists, turns, deaths, and surprises this episode, but nothing shocked me more than the really weird almost hook-up between... well, I don't want to spoil it. Read the recap!

Russell's Back in Business

We start the episode with Alcide-Sookie juuuuust about to hook up, except... oh, wait. Sookie throws up all over Alcide before they can, you know. Shoulda passed on that last shot of Peach Schnapps, my friend. As if that's not embarrassing enough, Bill and Eric show up soon after to ask for Sookie's help.

They go back to the parking garage where Russell Edgington was buried so Sookie can un-glamour the attendant Doug (aka read his mind). In his memory, Sookie sees a woman wearing the signifying necklace of the authority. Could it be Nora? Or, what if it was Salome?

Doug's memories lead the group to a creepy abandoned building. On the way, Bill and Eric get a not-so-happy call. Their iStakes are activated to go off at dawn if they don't capture Russell. Now that the pressure is on, they try to tell Sookie not to accompany them into the abandoned building. But she's not having it--"I've got a headache, and I've got to pee something fierce, so I'd just as soon get this over with." Word.

Anyway, some people-eating rats eventually lead them to RUSSELL. He's BACK, people, and still manages to be terrifying despite being totally immobile.

Shifters, Fairies, and Vamps, Oh My

After their fairy nightclub adventure, Jason and Andy Bellefleur wake up butt naked to phone calls from the police--there's been a double-murder they have to investigate now. They arrive to find Sam's two dead shifter friends. The bullets were wooden, which can kill anybody, but vampires especially. Foreshadowing.

Jason has an aha-moment and realizes that vampire murders have been going on for centuries, before anybody knew the supes existed. After investigating the shifters' deaths, he goes to his own parents' grave to think--something we're not treated to seeing Jason do often.

Meanwhile, Sam visits his ex-girlfriend Luna to tell her about their friends' murders. After some brief grieving, she asks him to leave (remember, her daughter is a baby werewolf!). As he walks outside, some men in masks shoot him. Luna runs outside to see the commotion, and they shoot her too! Gah, even more sad, her daughter runs outside to her mom. The masked-men try to shoot the little girl, but she runs off in her baby wolf form before they can.

Vampire in Training

Tara's lookin' vampy and awesome at Fangtasia. Pam watches her with... appreciation? But it doesn't last too long--she makes Tara the bartender. After Tara tries to bite a customer, Pam gives her a um, stern talking to. Jessica sees it go down and decides to give Tara the "It Gets Better" talk. It's a cute almost-friendly moment, and Jessica encourages Tara to embrace all the crazy vampire feelings she's experiencing.

Outside the bar, Tara runs into Hoyt, who is all dressed up in his fangbanger gear. He hits on her, but she tells him to go home to his momma (good advice). He throws a hissy fit, so Tara indulges and bites him in the bathroom. WEIRD, weird, weird coupling that I hope doesn't actually happen. Jessica must agree with me--she's in the stall over and hears. She grabs Tara, and the two get in a huge fight. So much for new BFFs.

Other Notes of Interest -Where is this Lafayette demon-plot going? Does anybody know what was going on with that REALLY crazy scene when Lafayette wakes up to Jesus' severed head? If they don't address it next episode, I'm going to be so confused. -Terry Bellefleur plot line in a nutshell: the soldiers killed a woman who put a curse on them, now a fire-smoke monster is killing them one by one. -As they're walking through the abandoned building, scardy-cat Doug admits that he's afraid he'll be killed there before he ever got the chance to visit New York City. The not-so-comforting Eric says, "New York City smells like pee, and the people are rude." As a NYC resident, I would be offended, but... fair. It does, and they are.

Best Line of the Episode:

"A 3,000-year-old vampire wants to suck my blood! Must be Thursday," a giddy and tipsy Sookie tells Bill, Eric, and Alcide. Honestly, I kind of like drunk, Debbie-murdering Sookie. She's more fun when she's not worrying about who's going to be her BF.

What did you think of all the craziness that was this episode? What surprised you the most? And what do you hope to see next week?

Photo: HBO

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Anna MoesleinAssistant editor and entertainment writer. University of Missouri grad. Will listen to any song and watch any TV show, movie, or cute puppy video at least once (but probably twice). Eats ice cream or fro-yo daily—extra points if it has coconut.