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Cornell Students Claim House Compromise Actually A Disagreement about Agreeing to Disagree

ITHACA, NY-A bipartisan compromise was reached in the House of Representatives for the national budget, leaving millions of Americans in shock and disbelief. However, the Cornell Democrats and Republicans are also reaching across party lines to dispel any rumors of agreement in the House. “I can tell you this, they did not agree on anything,” stated Cornell Democrats President Leah Jones ‘14. “They simply disagreed to agree to disagree. There’s a difference.”

Cornell Republicans President Andrew Smith ‘15 explained further: “[Speaker John] Boehner suggested that the House agree to disagree and call it a day. Naturally, both parties refused to agree, and now the liberal media is calling it a ‘compromise.’”

The bill, which includes both not enough and too many spending cuts, is unlikely to pass in the Senate. “If there’s one thing the Senate will agree on, it’s that they simply cannot agree with the House’s disagreement about agreeing to disagree,” said Smith However, Cornellians should keep a positive outlook. When asked to comment about Smith’s statement, Jones simply replied: “I disagree.”