The goat did it

There’s a very short list of people who get nailed for steroids that actually admit “Okay, I took the steroids.” Hermes Franca comes to mind, and Tim Sylvia for all his lameness at least manned up and said he took them in hopes that they’d make him look less like an oversized sack of skin. But everyone else tends to come up with excuses, from conspiracy theories to tainted supplements to false negatives at the lab. So if the people testing clean aren’t doing steroids, and the people being caught aren’t doing steroids, who the hell is doing all the steroids???

“This type of anabolic steroid is to get fat, to gain weight, and is used on animals,” he told the Portuguese-language MMA magazine Tatame.

He explained that, while conducting seminars recently, he had been eating at “restaurants specializing in barbecued meat”.

“They use this in cattle and goats there, and they may have used in any animal that I ate,” he explained, adding that “they asked you to choose the goat… they slaughter it and cook it. I have some photos here.”

It’s an interesting theory, and one that’s surprisingly enough been used before by Olympic level athletes. Personally, I’m not gonna get involved in the whole situation … I wasted way too much time researching nandrolone when Sean Sherk got nabbed, and I’m not gonna waste my time doing the same for boldenone. If Nogueira wants to say it’s a goat’s fault, more power too him. Unless he can prove it with proper backup from scientific papers, I’m not gonna buy it though.