World Economic Summit
During a World Economic Summit, Barack Obama, Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and French President Francois Hollande are ceremonially riding in Japan's newest bullet train.
As you might know all of these political leaders have big egos and this is what ensued.
Barack Obama says "This is a fine bottle of wine Francois"
Upon hearing this President Francois Hollande throws out a case of France's finest wine and says "In France fine wine is bountiful and plenty!"
Not to be outdone by Vladimir Putin who then throws out two cases of Russia's finest Vodka "In Russia premier vodka spirits flow like the Volga River"
President Obama not wanting to seem weak, thinks for a moment, looks at Mexican president Enrique Pena Nieto, and throws him out the window.

Love at the White House
Mr. and Mrs. President come home to the White House after a Democratic dinner party and Mr. President is very tense.
Mrs. President feels sorry for him and pours him a glass of brandy.
She takes him by the hand and leads him to the fireplace where a fire is crackling beautifully.
Mrs. President sits in a chair with Mr. Presidents brandy without giving it to him as she unclasps her dress exposing her full supple breasts.
She puts her finger in the brandy, swirls it around then rubs the brandy on her nipple.
Mrs. President begins to moan softly as her nipples become erect.
Mr. President likes what he sees and kneels in front of Mrs. President and gently starts to lick the brandy off her nipples.
Mrs. President moans louder as she lays her head back in pleasure.
Mr. President moves his hand down to the bottom of her dress and lifts it up to surprisingly find Mrs. President wearing no underwear and her well shaven lips are moist from excitement.
Mr. President uses his finger to open her luscious flower and plays with her erect hood while still tonguing her nipples.
Mrs. President is squirming with desire. No longer can Mr. President contain himself so he takes out his throbbing member and slowly slides it into Mrs. President's wetness.
Mr. President starts to thrust harder and harder watching Mrs. President's breasts bounce with every force.
Mr. President sucks on Mrs. President's nipples as he pushes himself inside her deeper and deeper causing Mrs. President to intensely climax.
Mr. President becomes ultimately excited by his wife's climatic moans and peaks with her.
As they both reach their zenith together, they hold each other closely.
Mr. President stayed inside Mrs. President laying his head on her breasts while he softened.
They both kissed each other and exchanged I love you.
Mrs. President asks, How do you feel Mr. President sir?
Mr. President replies,? I feel so good I think I may actually side with the Republicans?

Three Boys
Three boys were out hiking one winter day, and heard cries for help coming from the lake. Rushing to see what was the matter, they found Barack Obama who had fallen through some thin ice on a lake and was about to drown. Quickly the boys formed a human chain and pulled him to safety.

"I'd like to reward you boys with something special for saving me", said Obama. "Just name it, and it's yours!"

"I want a ride on Air Force One", said the first boy.

"You've got it!", said Obama.

"I want a medal that I can show the other kids at school", said the second boy.

"No problem!", said Obama.

The third boy thought for a moment, and said "I want a wheelchair".

"But why would you want that?", asked Obama.

"'Cause when I get home and tell my dad that I saved YOU he's gonna break my effin' legs!".

Town Hall Meeting
One day three people were standing in front of the president Obama during a town hall meeting.

The first one, James said "You know I have nothing more to say here. John your turn."
Then John spoke up and said "Hahaha hey Codi has a joke do ya want to here it??? Haha!"
The president doesn't know how to respond so he nods slowly.
Codi was walking over to the president with a limp and a hand on his back.
The president said well "Codi what's the joke?"

Codi begins "Well sir I just gave your mama a piggy back ride and she weighs four times more than me!"

Air Force One
Barack Obama and Joe Biden are on a plane.
Suddenly Joe Biden says I can throw 100 dollars out of this plane and make 100 people happy.
Barack says I can throw 1000 dollars out of the plane and make 1000 people happy.
The pilot over heard this and said, "I can throw both of you out of this plane and make the whole country happy."

Wall of Clocks
A man died and went to heaven.
He saw ST. Paul in front of him. Behind him was a wall of clocks.
The man asked St. Paul "What are these clocks for?"
St.Paul answered "These are lie clocks, everytime you lie the clock moves once."
There's Mother Teresa's. She hadn't lied once so her clock is still.
There's Abraham Lincoln's clock. He had lied just once and the clock has just moved once.
The man asked "Where is Obama's clock?"
St.Paul said "Oh! It's in Jesus's office he uses it as a ceiling fan."