Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Pharmaceutical Advertisements

Where to start? I have all these ads swimming around in my mind - ads for PILLS. And more pills. You don't take pills? We will find an ailment so that you too, may TAKE pills!! Ask your doctor if it's right for YOU. BUT be sure to call him if you suddenly have no sight after taking Viagra. "Hellllloooooooooo" (Yawning)"Hey, Doc, it says on TV to call you immediately if I go blind while having sex. I all of a sudden can't see anything and I'm really scared, so scared I couldn't .... er ah....' "Take two aspirin and see me in the morning.""But DOC (whining) - how can I get to your office if I can't see to drive?"(sounding preoccupied)"You could call a police officer, oh sorry, I meant a taxi, I'm watching Law & Order.... is there anything else I can help you with?""Doc, this is so-o-o-o-o s-c-a-r-y! Shall I go to the E.R.? What would they say or do if I went to the E.R.?""Have you heard of priapism? They would probably admit you to a room and the younger nurses who haven't actually seen this yet, would find a reason to visit your room and you'd have more attention than if you were there for - say, pneumonia.""Well Doc, while I have you on the phone, there was another ad on TV that encouraged me to ask you if this drug is right for me, one for attention deficit disorder - my wife thinks I have this. Is that drug right for me?" "What else did the ad say about the drug?""Well, in very laid-back terms they said it could conceivably have side effects of nausea, vomiting, lymphoma, tuberculosis, headache, leg and stomach aches, coma and death.""Yes, it is right for you."