Mike Huckabee, the Republican presidential candidate and former Southern Baptist minister, is getting help from Tim LaHaye, the Christian conservative organizer and co-author of the apocalyptic “Left Behind” novels.

“America and our Judeo-Christian heritage are under attack by a force that is more destructive than any America has faced” since Hitler,Dr. LaHaye and his wife, Beverly, wrote in letters sent to lists of conservative Christians in Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina. “Defeating the radical jihadists will require renewed resolve and spiritual rearmament by the evangelical pastors in America.”

The letters were distributed in part through an e-mail list maintained by Mrs. LaHaye’s organization, Concerned Women for America, to encourage pastors to attend two-day conferences held in each state (free, including meals and a hotel room). Mr. Huckabee, a former Arkansas governor, is the only candidate speaking.

All events are held by nonprofit charities. The Rev. Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, said the inclusion of only one candidate raised “red flags” about an impermissible political endorsement. But David Lane, the events’ principal organizer, said he had invited all the candidates.

A campaign spokesman said Mr. Huckabee had read some of the “Left Behind” novels and enjoyed them.

This can hardly be described as a positive development, though I’m not sure how much direct effect the LaHayes will have. Voters don’t typically look to novelists for political guidance (even if LaHaye’s been a conservative activist for decades), and the CWA is one of those aging, increasingly irrelevant groups of social conservatives.

In fact, given that local pastors are considered to be the next wave of leaders for the conservative evangelical movement, you might read this as CWA’s attempt to buy some relevance with the up-and-coming generation. We’ll just have to see how it works out and assume that if Huckabee does well, the LaHayes will claim the credit.

Bah. Pastor Dan may scoff, but this, this will be the endorsement that totally puts Huckabee over the top. Still, it’s a shame that Mike Tyson is otherwise engaged – you can never have too many bizarre celebrity endorsements.

Cautionary note to non-fundie voters: Do you really want a President who won’t stick around after The Rapture? America will be in desperate need of strong leadership once the stabilizing influence of the religious right has been removed.

Ask the average American what an Afterlife reward would be and they would include: Alcohol in all its wonderful forms, sex, drugs, more sex, rich foods, no bosses, sex with porn stars, all your childhood pets, no work, more sex and more porn stars, more alcohol, more food. Okay We think you get it. It would be a place where all the vices that were put aside on Terra are slaked with delight. But in that book We do not get the impression that the Christianist reward is anything more than Mr. Charlie still being The MAN and making slaves of everyone darker than a sheet of A4 eggshell copy paper and all those who get there spending time kissing dome major Creator ass while noshing on the limited fare of milk and honey.

While We can point to Hell, while it is a place of punishment, heat and no harps is a land where you can get your rocks off, sit at a casino table grow wealth you never could have on Terra and are actually a Free Citizen of the Realm with right, liberties and franchise that can only be lost by some action clearly stated in the Constitution. Unlike America where if you say one of the Bush twins is a cunt you go straight to Guantanamo Bay whence you are never heard from again and screw that archaic notion of habeas corpus.

[breathing heavily]

Whew! Sorry about that Eli, We do not know where that came from but We did eat right much of that wonderful roasted bird yesterday and in Our Delicate Condition the hormones . . . well that might just be noted at Our Black Friday Rant. Oh We forgot, [clearing audio link, sounds like a rather creepy cough] Is this thing on?? Oh, FUCK TIM LAHAYE!

I’m pretty sure that if, or rather *when* I end up in Hell, I’ll be too busy getting disemboweled for any gambling or photography or getting my rocks off (at least metaphorically, without rusty pliers).

But if Heaven really is all clouds and angels and God, I know I’d be bored to tears – plus I probably wouldn’t know anybody.