Dog shelter charity start taking in abandoned pensioners

As the cost of retirement homes goes up and the standard of care goes down, well known dog shelter charity, the PDSA, have set up a separate sister charity for the sheltering of pensioners.

' We have found OAPs down country lanes, in other people's sheds, and even one who had been put in a sack with bricks, and thrown in the canal' John Hert, head of pensioner welfare at the oaPDSA told us. 'By giving them a large cage, food three times a day, and a walk at lunchtime, we are providing a standard of living way above that provided in a home.'

Doug Williams was abandoned by his family when the proceeds from his house sale ran dry. 'They took me to a park and told me they would be back in a minute. After three weeks I realised the weren't coming back. Doug continued, 'I teamed up with another pensioner called Harold, and we ate scraps and slept under bridges together. Unfortunately Harold got injured on a plastic beer can holder and was 'put to sleep' when we got here.'

'When we take in abandoned pensioners like Doug, we give them a bath and a haircut and as long as they are healthy, we will provide shelter for life' a spokesman told us. 'As we say at the oaPDSA, we never put a good Doug down'