While MBC sat twiddling their thumbs and Cheshire East preened themselves like peacocks, Tesco reconfigured the Silk Road and designed the biggest tree house in history.

Do our elected representatives have any idea what their lamentable lack of initiative has done for town centre trading?

Khrushchev’s Kremlin had more commercial nous. What was the point of that rushed public consultation when three years down the line they haven’t laid a single brick?

You have to hand it to Tesco, while councillors have been piddling in the dark Tesco have conceived, designed and planned a superstore to end all superstores, rerouting a major highway in the process.

If only we’d thought to put the town hall on stilts all those years ago we might have had 700 free car park spaces slapbang in the centre of town.

On second thoughts maybe not. By the time the plans had gone to committee, been rejected, revamped, reworked and put out for tender, the whole project would have morphed into a ski slope or something equally inappropriate.

They can add council tax to the price of Toilet Duck (we’d hardly notice). Macclesfield can be renamed ‘Wines and Spirits’, Wilmslow called ‘Clothing and Accessories’ and we’ll call the Silk Road ‘Aisle Two’.

The council bosses can decamp to Tesco East where they can collect shopping trolleys from the canal.

Every little helps.

The views on this page are Vic Barlow's and not necessarily those of the Express