Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted . . .

Work Wednesday

It's August. And I can't get the Go-Go's Vacation out of my mind. You know, "Vacation, All I ever wanted, Vacation, Had to get away, Vacation, Meant to be spent alone . . . ."

I really need a vacation - even if mine won't be alone. I bet you do, too. I'm lucky I get paid vacation days (unlike many others in our "No-Vacation Nation"), and that I'm able to take it without penalty or negative consequences. (Well, except for all the work that will pile up while I'm away.)

Still, in case you're questioning whether I really need this vacation, I have some answers for you. Here, in reverse order, are the top 10 reasons why this working mom's ready for vacation. Now. (You can borrow the ones you like.)

CURRENT MOM'S TOP TEN VACATION JUSTIFICATIONS

10. I am exhausted by the "mommy wars." This is a cumulative thing. For more, see this post from May.

9. I'm tired and cranky from from staying up way late to watch the Olympics. The athletes and their accomplishments are compelling, but NBC's coverage is crappy. And don't even get me started on Procter & Gamble's gorgeous, stirring Olympics "Thank You, Mom" ad campaign. The one problem - none of the athletes appear to have working moms or any kind of dad.

8. My Blackberry died from overuse. Really. It's worn out - just like me. Apparently, its not designed to withstand the rigors of continuous Blackberry checks during soccer practice, piano lessons, tae kwon do class etc. that allows me to create the illusion that I'm working full-time when I'm not being paid to do so! 7. I can't find any work-appropriate attire that allows me to bridge the gap between the 100 degree heat at the camp bus stop and the sub-zero temperatures in my office. Especially in the conference rooms. Yes, I know I can wear a jacket over a summer dress but boots, tights, and a parka wouldn't be out of place.

6. My boss is going to Hawaii. Without his kids.

5. I had to restrain myself from pushing one of the friendly young canvassers from who just wants a minute of my time to discuss reproductive rights, gay rights, marriage equality, civil liberties, climate change, international refugees, etc. out of my way while I was frantically rushing to the metro so I could collect my kids on time. I support you and I'll sign your petition. Some other time. Can't you tell that I am trying to avoid you? I 'll send you a check in the mail if you promise to move away from my route to the Metro.

4. Speaking of the Metro, how do I manage to pick the un-airconditioned car every afternoon on my way home? On the train that holds in the tunnel for 10 minutes for a "schedule adjustment" while my heart beat races and the sweat pours as I imagine being stuck for eternity while the kids ride the camp bus forever like Charlie on the MTA. (Did he ever return? No, he never returned . . .)

3. School starts in 19 days! Only 19 days until the cycle of homework, religious school, tae kwan do, soccer, Chinese, and the rest of my kids' school activities starts again. Nineteen days! Where did the summer go?

2. And then there are those automated out-of-office email replies from contacts around the world: "I will be out of the office and on vacation from July to September 2012 frolicking in the surf and drinking wine in my spacious rental villa in a beautiful secluded spot where the sun always shines. I will not be checking my messages. If you need immediate assistance, you will need to wait until mid-September as it will take at least a week after I return from vacation to adjust to work." O.K. Maybe they don't say that literally. But that's the way those messages read to me.

1. It's August. And I can't get the Go-Go's Vacation out of my mind . . .