Hi Everyone.
As some of you will know I have only recently returned to the boards. My mood is bad and little things annoy me. I am going to say something that might make me unpopular.
We all like to be thanked and we all like to be acknowledged, but I am uncomfortable with the way this is now being done on the boards. My issue is that this information appears with a person's basic profile, almost like it has become a competition to see who can be seen to have sent and received the most hugs and thanks. Does the fact that a person might have a higher count in hugs and thanks give them a form of hierarchy within the boards. Is their opinion or comment any more or less relevant than a person with a lower count. I think not, so why have it. Am I missing something in this or perhaps I am just in a crappy mood these days.
Brend.

The following user gives a hug of support to brend:bluelakelady (06-05-2012)

Hi brend, welcome back! I remember some good conversations with you. I don't think you were offensive or would be unpopular for what you said. It is an opinion and that is certainly allowed. I guess I don't think of it as a competition, just a friendly hug or thank you. I am not as consistent as others though about using them and/or being on the boards for that matter.

hi brend,
sorry you are having a poopy mood day. as for the hugs and thanks thing, it's just a thing. a way of saing thanks or offering a hug when we don't really feel up to typing a note. personally i never look at people's totals. what they have to say matters most.
i was here before we had this tool. for myself i find it an easy way to say i am thinking of you without using energy i may not have that day to speak to you. "you" being anyone here. giggle.
take a deep breath and relax your mind.
peace,
blue

Hope today is better for you . I hate when I am moody for days so I understand where you're coming from. As far as the hugs and thanks thing I don't pay much attention to who has how many. I like it cuz sometimes I can't post a reply due to foggy brain so I like to give a hug or thanks to let the person know that I am acknowledging them

Hello
Can I ask what caused you to question it? Is there a post about it or something? I hope I'm not coming off wrong... I'm just curious...
Like the others, I don't pay any attention. There are certain members you see more than others. But even if I don't recognize someone's name, I still like to see what they have to say & don't look at how many hugs or thanx they get. I have noticed Blue has sooo many "Thank You"'s, but it's just something I have noticed. She has been here a long time & really deserves for it to be noticed. She has been there for all of us when we needed help or support. So I do like the fact that atleast she is being acknowledged. This board wouldn't be the same without her. She was one of the main people that helped me accept & take control of my fibro after I was diagnosed. There are things she said that I'll never forget because the words were so helpful.
I don't think I push the hug or thank you buttons enough. I mainly like to say Thank You. But when someone really deserves a big Thank You or Hug, I like to push the buttons. I also love the fact that we can click on them when we read a post but don't have anything to say. I will admit, I usually have something to say

Anyhow, I get annoyed with little things often, usually noises... It's hard to control & seems the more pain & exhaustion we feel, the wort it is...

You asked what caused me to question this and I think you answered it in your last paragraph. I have been having a few bad days and my moods are all over the place. This just got into my head and I had to air it.

Hearing that most people are hardly aware of the hugs,thanks etc is, I suppose, what I hoped or maybe needed to hear.

I still don't see the need for it but that is just my opinion.

I agree with you about Blue being such a good and helpful person who deserves to be acknowledged and thanked. She got me through a very difficult time and I owe her big time for her help. I have and will continue to thank her, but not by pushing a button. I guess it is just my way and I stress I do not mean or want to cause any offence.

Hello
I don't think anyone took offense. Luckily everyone seems to be open minded & don't judge others opionions or feelings. That's the wonderful thing about this board
I like to actually type the "Thank You" in my replies. Just sometimes seems like there is nothing else to say so the button is quick & easy. Lol

Are you taking anything for anxiety? I take generic Wellbutrin called Bupropion. It help me control my stress & take life as more of a stride... Like right now, I have had renters setting fire in our rental house, broken windows, broken doors & I think they are girders because I have never seen so much stuff. It's really bad... They haven't paid rent in 2 months so it's hurt us really bad financially. But instead of stressing & making myself sick, I'm able to focus on getting them out... They are supposed o be out today. Then we will be making dump runs, fixing stuff, ect. I have a house flipper interested so I may take the easy way out, sell & be done... Anyhow, I love my anti-anxiety med. it helps me sooo much.

Say brend, do you think it is a guy thing about the hugs and thanks thing.....giggle. Would that be to a guy like making little hearts over your i to dot it.....giggle....giggle! You know I didn't think about just giving a hug or thanks when you are in a hurry or don't really have much to comment. It's a good idea though.

I agree Blue and goldenwings pulled me through a really tough time when my husband was getting chemo and the aftermath of what it did to his body. This was a few years back. Pushing a button is not enough thanks for that.

Glojer.
Maybe your right, a guy thing. I'll have to work on getting more in touch with feminine side. Or maybe i'm just being a grouchy old fart.

Tori.
I am taking xanax for two weeks now. working but but enought. In another post of mine I have been discussing weaning off cymbalta. Until a few weeks ago I was mostly even tempered and then the horrors of cymbalta withdrawal set in. The nice Brend will be back soon, I hope.
Good luck with your renters. I was in a similar situation a few years ago and the night before they renters from hell were to move out they through a wild party and thrashed the house. I got an offer and sold the house before I even started to clean up. The property market collapsed within three months and has not recovered. The current value would be 40% the price I got.
Sometimes things just work out. Good luck.

okay, i am blushing. all your words tori, brend and glojer humble me. i am deeply honored you think so kindly toward me. no thanks is ever needed. seeing you all grow and be more than you were, to find your peace, your voice is a joyful song to me.
i am blown away that people listen to me. giggle.
so hugs and thanks and most of all peace,
blue

Blue- We love you & I agree, pushing a button isn't Thanks enough for all you do to help us through such tough times...

Brend- i think out grouchy sides are there when we hurt the most... Unfortunetly all we can do is try to feel better... You'll get there... I'm not liking your doctor though... I agree with what blue said in the other post, bug the crap out of them till they listen & help you...
My husband is helping the renter move. He doesn't think des on drugs like we thought... She just has the wrong friends & they all flaked out in helping her move. Unfortunetly there is so much work to do after the work of moving her is over... I am thinking about doing a lease, rent to own... 2 yr contract so I could sell it for more than what I'll get from the house flipper... But I dunno... It'll all work out...
You sold at a great time! I bought the house in 02 before the market went up... Thankfully... I wanted I sell about 7 yrs ago but my ex wouldn't let me move a half hour away to live where we are now. I would have been able to sell before the market went down & could of had a $60k profit. But by the time the court let me move, the market had crashed so been renting it out since... Would be nice to just be done with it...