7. Automatically assuming that all dinner invitations include my child and refusing to attend if they're after 6 p.m.

8. Placing my daughter in the care of people I don't research, and don't want to, because they're too convenient. The daycare at my gym? I'm sure everyone there is bonded, knows CPR, and has never killed anyone. Right? Right.

9. Actually saying and frequently: "Because I said so, that's why!"

10. Posting her Cesarean section on Facebook. I told you I wasn't proud of this list.