Category: Author Shan R.K

Our town, unlike most of the small towns was not separated into four or five different categories of people. There were only two :- The Billionaires that lived in the central and surrounding area, not too far from the river, and the South’ers ‘the lower class.’ Color, race and all that jumbo didn’t matter in our town, it was all about the black cards and the Benjamins. The older people from the South either worked for the billionaires, had something to hide or were given sanctuary for silence.

But neither of the reasons they stayed here were good. Didn’t mean the youngsters had a poverty stricken life.

It also didn’t mean we were living in trailer parks. No, this was the billionaires town.

Nobody starved, no one begged.

Our crime rate was five percent and even that was only because a few years ago, a woman named Gina Lorne was found dead. But as I said, it was years ago.

The people that ruled our small town had since gated up our entire community of seven thousand and twenty eight. Now those unwanted people weren’t even allowed past the gate.

No matter which side of the river or which side of the hills, there was no way some foreign person was entering without THE towns knowledge. None of the founding families would allow it. It was why our small town, just on the Hills in Good Ol’ Texas, infamously known as Liston Hills was also known by another name, a name that would shock this very foundation we once called safe, better and clean.

The name was the billionaires nest, though still a talked about myth, it was very true.

The history of our small town all started with the founding families of Liston Hills- Orniel, Bray, Stone, Hugh and Delroy, five of the worlds most richest families coming together with one goal in mind- security for their own. Security for their children, spouses and future generations. It marked one of the biggest business transactions made in 1883. The group jointly purchased the empty Hills and surrounding land to start a life here, away from all the common people.

Liston Hills wasn’t shown on the maps, not even as a paper town, and our town was very hard to find without knowing where you’re going. For most people, Liston Hills was a fictional place, but to us, the people that stayed here- Our town was very real.

So real that like any other town we had our public schools and our private schools. And in our schools, be it private or in our case public, we had our jocks, that was Jordon Dean Gregory the fifth and his crew- our football team.

Then of course there were the cheerleaders. We, as in most of the schools population referred to them as the ‘Demon Squad’.

‘Yup, we don’t piss off the pompom girls.’

Let us not forget our nerds- the newspaper team that sucked and the science freaks. Yes, it was harsh, but I did mention we were a public school, so name calling was tolerated, especially in my case, I was one of them.

And like all Public schools we had our riff raff rebels. But here in Liston High Public, they weren’t known as rebels. No, sorry, they were the bikers, the children and teenagers of The Sin Rider’s Motorcycle club. Of recent years, which pains one to mention we now had our trust fund group- the rich kids that belonged on the other side of the Hills, but for some odd reason they preferred to be here.

Well not all, rumor has it that a few years back Jace Stone was abducted and just dropped out of Liston High Private and attended school here, the other side of the River. Apparently Victoria Stone, Natasha Bray and Mason Bray followed. But rumor or not they didn’t belong here, and it wasn’t long when they ran back to their private education. It did however start a chain of habit.

The trust fund kids that didn’t have much adult supervision, or weren’t controlled by their parents like us normal teens, decided to come to our school. Less rules, less work, less stress.

This year 2018 our new trust fund group was actually all related and it didn’t take long for our welcoming committee to brand them as the weird ones. From their first day, they huddled together, choosing to rather sit with themselves than socialize with the rest of the ‘down-graders’.

Not for the females lack of trying. The twin’s Dallion and Dillon Snow were a sight for a girl’s hormones and a mother’s nightmares. They were that hot and with a slight British accent it was a crime of will.

Adam Snow, the middle one always wore a black beanie and long Goth clothing which was weird but hey, there was a reason we called them weird. Well, okay I admit I am the only one who calls them weird, everyone else just calls them the Snow brothers.

Reed Snow, however, was the weirdest of the lot, he was a Dan Brown conspiracy fan. Since the first day which was a few weeks back he has had his long brown hair and glass covered eyes stuck in a Dan Brown novel, and his fingers always jotting down notes ‘weird’. So anyway enough about them, let’s get back to the story. Now, while many stories start with once upon a time or a new girl in a new school, this one starts a little differently.

It all starts when Sarah West, one of the best cheerleaders to attend Liston Hills Public school since Victoria Stone, got kicked out of the squad for missing practice.

Sarah West

We can’t always hold life by the horns. I used to, but recently these last few weeks since tenth grade started I have been on the tale end of an aggressive bull. Today, I finally fell off and it wasn’t a pretty fall. It was the ugly type, the hard fall- where you crack a few bones, injure your back and howl in pain.

As usual, today, no different from these past few weeks I had been sociably late to every lesson in class, every practice with the squad. Meetings and outings with my soon to be new parents took a lot of time. Yup, I was the foster kid. Well, the only one that attended Liston Hills Public School.

“SARAH.” The shrill scream that came from Macy Ward, our cheerleader captain or as I love to call her our Loony Ward had me rolling my eyes.

Stretching out my legs, I held my foot to my butt with my right hand and after an insufferable minute of not answering Loony Ward I finally caved. Her eyes were currently staring daggers on my back.

The heat of her gaze, whilst welcomed as it felt like middle of winter with this cold front, I knew I was skating on thin ice.

“Yes Macy.”

I stopped my warm up and ignored the rest of the girls idling around and giving me their worrisome stares. The whispers weren’t really whispers as I watched Macy Ward’s chocolate complexion turn to crimson as her round eyes that have had most of the male population in our school drooling behind her since she first walked the hallways of Liston High Public, narrow on me.

“You have been late everyday these past two weeks, you are sloppy, yesterday you dropped Tiya on the floor which could’ve led to a serious injury. Now, I know you have the potential to do better but until then you are out of the squad.” Her hands planted on her hips. Those pink painted lips pulling up in a really terrible pout was the last straw.

“You kicking me OUT?” I screeched, my fingers rolling up into tight fists, “I have worked my butt off to get where I am and you think you are just going to kick me out of the squad, I gave you power over.”

My steps drew me closer to Macy, the girls and Chad our only guy stood around watching our spectacle. Macy vanished the rest of the distance until our chest were barely an inch or two apart, “Mr Lanco agreed, Mrs Frisco agreed, hell I bet the entire squad agrees, your squad days Sarah West are over.”

My laugh was hollow, my mind filled with thoughts of how easily it would be to just punch Macy in her face. Anger and a need for revenge filled me with mirth for Macy Ward. “What?!!! If you think this is over Loony Macy think again, this means war.”

I bumped her shoulder as I marched past her and the rest of the squad who were clever enough to give me a wide berth to the stands. Grabbing my blue Nike back pack I got for Christmas last year and my coke bottle I used as a water bottle, I left the sports centre as if I were on a mission.

Twenty nineteen wasn’t turning out as great as I’d hoped. It sucked in every major way. Well not every way, there was still one part of my life that proved to be a promising constant and that was my favourite book series, A Court of thorns and Roses by Sarah J.Maas. Without her books, without those stories of a strong heroine named Cerleun, I am not sure I would’ve survived Christmas and New Year. I spent it with my grandmother in Barfa.

The old witch drove me nuts. If she wasn’t drowning her ugly face in a bottle of vodka then she was dousing me with her irritant case of verbal diarrhea. Why she found the need to torment me with the happenings of everybody else’s business was beyond me. Most of what she said anyway proved to be a bunch of bogus. It was just the pineapple vodka speaking.

Grandma Sue didn’t want me after my parents decided to hit the highway. But every holiday since my eighth birthday, the same year I entered the system, the state forced me to spend my holidays with her. For a fifty eight year old woman, she looked an easy sixty eight. Always drinking, always smoking, the woman didn’t know the word limit. She only understood limitless.

So imagine my surprise when she bought me a welcome back present. It was the first four books of A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sara J. Maas and that was the only reason I didn’t chew her up when she left me alone in her three bedroom dilapidated house on Christmas day to go drinking with her friends. My feet ate up the distance from the sports centre which was separated from the schools building to the girls bathrooms. Turning the corner of the once white now graffiti colored wall, I headed toward the side door with the fire exit sign stuck in red on the top.

Pushing the old door open, my hands, not for the first time today felt icky and had me turning toward the basement stairs right on the left as my sneaker covered feet skidded on the yellow tilled floor that was covered in gum, dirt and various other germinating materials.

The basement had the best soap to wash all the dirt off. In the girls bathroom most of the time it smelt of urine and there was hardly ever toilet paper let alone soap to wash our hands. Since I started eight grade two years back, I had secretly used the basements toilet, and soap to clean my hands. Certain, I wasn’t the only one as more than one occasion I had caught a few of the other kids either making out or bunking class in the basement. The basement was a no teacher zone.

The one place designated safe from the preying eyes of Ms Lurns, our principal. The woman was an incarnate of Satan himself. It was also the place Mr Cam- the cleaner kept all his cleaning supplies.

I moved down the stairs until I reached the grainy door that was covered in carved letters, red pen, tip-ex and even old gum. Twisting the door nob, I wasn’t in the least surprised the room was dark except for the small exit window that brought in the dull glow from the early afternoon inside the small place.

Moving with familiarly to the side wall just past the door I switched on the small light and dropped my bag on the ground with a loud thud.

My back bent as I took a sip of water, and with it an unmistakable loud creak sounded from behind me. I turned naturally to see who I would find this time. My bottle dangled from my fingers, as my left hand planted itself on my hip, reminding me that I had to change out of this short purple skirt and into my worn jeans if I was going to make it home in one piece.

“Hello, anyone in here.” I whisper yelled as I walked further into the basement. It happened again, only now the creak sounded like a chair scraping the cemented floor. Treading with care, I turned the corner to where Mr Cam kept the cleaning detergents on an old metal shelves and my eyes literally bugged out. A good couple of seconds past in a frozen state, as I stood there, looking at the figure with the brown scared eyes strapped to a chair. My coke bottle left my hand, and made a loud noise as it fell to the floor.

The hand on my hip dropped as my body shook and the unknown person bucked, begging me to help. Then I screamed, and screamed and screamed. I couldn’t stop screaming. The longer I stared at the male , the harder it became to understand that he was tied to a school chair, with duck tape over his mouth and dried blood on his face. His head dangled to the one said as if it cost him too much energy to lift it up. Dreary swollen eyes urged me to help, but all I could do was scream. People barged in, surrounded us by the dozens. Some of the guys opened the tied up boy, others helped the boy out of the chair.

Lots of nameless faces pushed me, bumping me as they all tried to fit in the basement and get a front row seat to the show. My teachers waltzed in and somebody grabbed me, lifting me up, while I was still making noise. Only I didn’t know whether it was tears or shock that kept my shrills at an all time high pitch. Hushing me was not going to work and whoever carried me figured that out quickly.

Not sure who it was, but I shoved my faced in the persons chest and quieted myself. It was a really nice, hard chest that smelled very clean. Yes, clean. I was taken to the schools nurse, and a small pill was shoved into my mouth soon after. Everything after that was a blur.

There was nobody to call for me as I was a foster kid. And there was nobody to comfort me as I also only had friends that were on the squad and like I predicted and would’ve done to them, they shunned me. It was times like this that I really didn’t like my life.

Bullet

“Yo, son, are you poppin’ in the shop after school, we can take the bikes to town, get some Mexican Mania, what do you say?” My dad’s tall broad shoulders and big belly took up my bedroom door as I slipped my blue converse on listening to his deep gruff voice. My brown chin length hair fell forward into my face, obscuring my view of my dad for a minute. Once my shoes were on I stood up from my unmade bed and slid a hand through my hair. Taking a good look at my dad in his biker jacket, which we called a cut and an old faded jeans paired with his hard iron work boots.

“Yeah, Pop, sounds like one hella plan, I’ll tell Adam, his new bike needs a good run.”

“Yeah, tell him to bring the other’s too, we can make it a guys night. I’ll get Keira to watch Clay and pick up Brei. See you after school.”

Adam and I have been good friends since the beginning of eighth grade, that was three years back when I went to visit my cousin, Diamond at the Stones Estate for her birthday.

The place was an actual Estate with only two castles. And I say castles because they were huge, like hotel huge. Adam and his older brother Reed were at the cabin on the other side of the property where Diamond’s friend threw her a party. Adam and I were the youngest teens that night and just started talking. I gave the guy my number after he promised to hook me up with another gaming controller for my PS3 and since then we have been friends.

His brothers and I also got along but anybody else- Adam and his brothers, just shunned away, and called it trust issues. So basically without really saying it, I was the reason Adam and his brothers decided to attend Liston High Public School this year. I explained to them how different and more relaxed our school was from Liston High Private and the brothers were all in.

Their sister Brei wanted to join but we all agreed that the little trouble maker should stay in the private school. With their parents never home, Reed was the one in charge and he more than agreed to come this side.

He went as far as donating a new art class for the school. It all worked out, but I was just glad to have Adam around.

I haven’t been to school as yet, since my dad recently had his gallbladder removed. I stayed at home to make sure my little brother, Clay got to school on time and the workshop got open. My mom past on seven years ago from a car accident. My brother, only three at the time, made a big difference in his life. He was young. Though, he remembered flashbacks of her, he wasn’t crippled by her death. Not like dad and I, we both had to step up to the plate.

One minute we were expectant men. My mom was a stay at home mother, so we were never short of a home cooked meal or a damp wash cloth when we ran a fever. Or getting my room cleaned. Then she was gone. I was just ten at the time, same age as Clay is now, and all of a sudden I had a three year old brother to look after, because dad couldn’t do it and run the shop and be the Enforcer of The Sin Rider’s Motorcycle Club, then still come home and cook.

So my brother fell on me, and I never complained, it is how I got my name Bullet. My dad left the confines of my bedroom door, I listened attentively to his retreating form until I heard the front door open and close. I walked to my messy dresser and gave myself a quick once over before I slipped my cut on. Four months ago I finally finished my prospect time for The Sin Rider’s MC and earned my cut as one of them. I was not ranked like my dad but I was one of them not just by birth but by time served too.

“Clay, move it bud, or your gonna miss your bus.” I walked toward my brothers bedroom door which was next to mine, and watched him as he straightened his striped tie. His brown eyes that were identical to my moms and mine stared at me in irritation which was something I was used to.

Clay was almost as bright as my genius cousin, Diamond but his strength was more in computers and software. So my dad decided to send him to a better school, rather than push him to a higher grade, which I agreed. Two years ago my brother started attending Liston Prep Academy. It was the best Prep school in Liston Hills and on the other side of the Hills.

When my mom passed away she left us with insurance and a good size savings for my brother and I. My dad’s shop was the only Mechanic shop in Liston Hills that actually knew how to fix a car, so we weren’t hurting for cash. Didn’t mean we were going to be living on that side of the Hills, it just meant that we didn’t have the stress that a lot of the South’ers had. Not that they had much issues, I mean we weren’t living in flats or one bedroom state houses. Most of us lived in three bedroom houses and drove decent cars. The South’ers weren’t dirt poor, we just didn’t have millions let alone billions.

In Liston Hills it was the one thing that separated us. The ones on the other side of the hills called it hierarchy but like my cousin, Diamond who befriended Kylie Bray, a born Billionaire, trust fund girl, I befriended Adam Snow. The Snow family was no Bray or Delroy but they owned Airspace and one of the biggest tiling companies in the world. They were also originally from England.

Like Kylie Bray, the Snow brothers were down to earth. They didn’t care about ‘hierarchy’ they cared about trust and loyalty. After getting my brother on the bus, I finally took my motorbike and got to school. Yesterday, Adam called and said that he had to see me today. My initial plan was to get back to school tomorrow but since the call, I changed my mind. I parked my bike next to Dallion’s black Dodge. Most of the students were still in the parking lot talking in their groups. Some screamed as they laughed and argued, whilst others jumped off the hoods of some peoples cars.

A few of the students were on their skateboards doing monkey flips around the rest of us. All in all, it was just another normal day at Liston High Public. It was good to be back. I grabbed my back pack out of my carry and threw it mid-air, caught it with my hand and slid the black object straight up my arm until it was over my shoulder. My eyes squinting in the bright light. I didn’t need to know the girls were all gawking at me, when I did that. It was a smooth move my dad taught me. He said girls dug that move, it was how he got my mom, just wished I had my glasses. Last fall, a few months before our year end school party, I got in a bit of a fight with some prick and my glasses were smashed, since then I had been too proud to let my dad know I damaged my lenses.

Yes, I was a biker who wore glasses.

“Bullet, my man, where the hell have you been? I thought we were going to have to hunt your ass down this weekend.” Turning around slowly I seated myself casually on my bike and looked at the guy in front of me with a small one eyed open stare. His buggy blue eyes and black spiked hair and small beard, reminded me of a pixie with a beard, never seized to amaze me. He was so tiny.

“Kenny my man, why you still sporting that kitty beard?” I lifted my hand out for him to shake, he took it giving me a brotherly hug with a pat on my back,

“One eyed man, leave the beard alone. Why is everyone after my man hair.” He rubbed his bearded chin as his grin grew bigger at whoever he stared at behind me.

“So I heard Moonshine is joining us this year,” I announced with a secret smile of my own. Moonshine was the daughter of our club president, Shoelace.

The girl was home schooled her entire life and nobody believed that her dad finally let her out of his sight to attend school. I, myself was shocked by this very new, and sudden information.

“Who do you think I’m looking at right now?” He smiled, licked his lips and still looked beyond me.

Turning my head, I stared over my shoulder and finally spotted the girl he was so engrossed in. Man, my dad was going to rip me to shreds if he saw me looking at her with the thoughts playing in my head. Moonshine was a boys dream and a girl’s enemy.

She skilfully straightened her leg back, slipping it over the black and silver Harley with a finesse only mastered by a person who was one with the bike they rode. Moonshine was Shoelaces only kid, he taught her how to ride a bike when she was like four, well maybe eight. I remember when she turned ten, and her dad brought her to see her Aunt Jen.

She was already riding her dads Harley up Hill side. Now, she was all grown up. I wonder if sending her here was her dad’s idea. Her golden hair fell in waves to her waist, as she flung her satchel over her left shoulder.

Her ripped check shirt skewed to the left and a small piece of flesh was made visible. More than a few people stopped to watch her. “Her dad will kill us if he knew we were staring.” Kenny whisper yelled, and it was the truth. A huge reason to drop my eyes and get to class, but I still stood and drooled. Her dad had been gunning for me since they first moved to Liston Hills, that was three years ago. The club needed a President so our Mother Chapter in Los Angeles sent Shoelace since the guys we had weren’t so thrilled with the choices. Shoelace was the Vice President in L.A, and spent most of his time here visiting family anyway. So, no one lifted an eyebrow when he joined and was voted President by the main members.

Moonshine spotted us as Jaden Newt did a double flip with his skateboard. Not long after, she faced us and waved. I waved back, no point ignoring her. She wasted no time walking toward us. Kenny nudged me, whispering ‘stay cool, stay cool.’ Not sure whether he was talking to himself or me. Her ripped jeans that fit loose were covered in tip-ex and red marker pens. Knowing her friends probably wrote some stuff on them as good luck, I thought it looked cool. It was our thing in The Sin Rider’s MC, whenever one of the youngsters had something important happening, we’d write either on the skin or clothes.

“Bullet and Kenny, I knew I’d be seeing you guys, but not this early in the morning. I heard Travis and Beans were supposed to give me the run down. If I knew you two were actually going to arrive on time I would have liked to have the option.” “Next time Moonshine.” I said to her, and tried hard not to stare when her brown eyes lit up with interest.

I liked my President’s daughter and I knew she crushed on me too, but the thought of how much her father’s fist would be liking on my face and other parts of my anatomy made me stay away. Moonshine was more than eager to go where I didn’t think we should be going. But like all rebels I couldn’t say no to a girl as pretty as her. Not for long anyway. Kenny cleared his throat, opening his legs slightly. I think he thought it looked cool, but I told the brother that it made him look weird when he did it, and then the hunched back. He copied that from Adam, it looked good when Adam did it because he was Six foot two, Kenny was five foot four.

So when Kenny did it, he resembled the skinny version of an ogre, “Yeah, I don’t think your dad would be cool with you havin’ options Shine. Beans and Travis are your cousins hence why your daddy said you should get the tour from them.” I grimaced and turned my head to the side as I watched Moonshine’s smiling face redden in anger at Kenny’s words.

Moonshine hated it when someone pointed out the obvious, ‘DADDY CALLS THE SHOTS’. She hated it more when it was the truth. “I am just going to ignore what you just said and save my knuckles for when I have a worthy opponent.” I chuckled at her comeback knowing what she meant. Last spring, we were all up at the local pool club when Kenny gave mouth to Vice, Moonshine’s best friend. Vice was also The Sin Rider’s road captain, Kingpin’s daughter. She’s half the size of Moonshine and knocked Kenny out with a punch to his sternum.

It was the most hilarious thing I have ever seen. Principle Lurn’s voice echoed through the speakers around our school, to get to class. It was a recorded message, one of the many things our principle did that made us groan.

The three of us walked toward the school doors, following the crowd of other students. Moonshine stepped in next to me and I should have said something about it, I didn’t. “Have you heard that the school is under investigation?” Moonshine asked me as we reached the old glass doors, “Ah no. It’s my first day back, remember!” I replied as I walked toward the male lockers.

Moonshine on my heel whilst Kenny disappeared in the crowd of on goers. “Word is, three days ago someone found a boy tied up in the basement.” She stated with a little bit of eagerness that if it was anyone else, I would be worried, but when Moonshine said it like that I just couldn’t help but wince. Most likely, they were going to look at the rebels, which was the bikers, meaning us.

“Have you gotten a name of the boy who was tortured?.” I asked her as I reached my locker and started keying in the code. “Nope, but I’m sure I can get one, see you later,” She mused and I didn’t stop my eyes as they looked deep into her hazel depths with a secret promise that I couldn’t keep. “Go to class Moonshine.” She chuckled, shaking her head, before she finally saluted me, then turned on her heel and left me standing by my locker. Watching her go as her legs got further across the hallway I didn’t stop the rational thought embedded in my brain. Yeah, I am going to hell.

You know her

Three days are already gone since the mysterious abduction and torture of Percy Daniels- the nerd everyone hated. Including me, well not particularly hate, more like can’t stand. The whole school could’ve been guilty, even the teachers. But, like any mystery, there was always the most probable suspect. It seemed as if life just didn’t want me to catch a break.

This will be my first official book co written with Kady Co. To all of you, there will be an awesome Shock Me Twice Game coming soon. All paperback purchasers who tag me on a social media post with a picture of you holding a paperback copy of Shock Me Twice will automatically be entered to our big giveaway hamper worth $300.

Like this:

“I wasn’t aware that the latter was even a thought.” Reagan’s face practically burns in anger.

To think that a few years ago this time, we would never have been seen in the South, or on other ends of the invisible line. And today, we are in a diner on the South side of town, standing on opposite ends. In love with the same girl. Life.

A group of bikers stand behind us. A girl that suspects one of us killed her father, or knows who did, sits right in front of us. And the one girl, Reagan and I have allowed to between us. We are all in one room.

“Can we all just sit down for a minute,” My sweet Vixen, always trying to tame a fire when she senses the beginnings of one.

I shrug in response as Reagan looks at Dainy as she slides back into the opposite side of Lizzie.

Reagan chooses the seat next to Lizzie and I take the one next to Dainy. The waiter must sense the tension dissipate for now.

She comes to the table and takes our order.

“Why didn’t you guys order for me.” I roll my eyes at Dexter’s accusatory question as he takes a chair from the other table and seats himself next to me.

“You in dark denims, and a biker jacket, I don’t think a milkshake is what you want,” Lizzie muses with a secret smile of her own. Dexter informed me of their extra mural activities and her growing relationship with Mason. Biting my tongue, is my only response to it.

It has been a while since I have seen Mason, we have never been close, he was a year older than I am, and where I strive off my family name, Mason does everything to hide who he truly is. I wonder why is that.

Dexter winks at Lizzie as the waiter walks to our table with a tray of milkshakes, “You are right about that, but some cake and a pepsi isn’t off the table.”

“Enough with the chit chatter, what the hell are you doing with the bikers? The Sin Rider’s aren’t our friends Kent.” Reagan says as he looks between Dexter and I.

Here is the thing, I could tell him a part of the truth, but Dainy would call me out on my bullshit, and I didn’t want her to know, I had just employed an entire Clubhouse of bikers to protect her.

So I lie, “We are trying to find out if they knew anything about Lizzie’s father. Dexter filled me in and I thought I would try and help out. My father is quite taken with your mother. ” I ignore the bitter taste in my mouth as I think of that woman. A Trent, tramp.

“And Mr Delroy asked me himself if Sabastian and I could find out a few things, apparently the Sin Riders knew something.” Dexter adds, and though it is bullshit, Reagan believes it, because to him, Dexter Kent is the Delroy’s lapdog. The thought makes me smile, when I think of how untrue it is.

“Why are you here?” Dainy asks Reagan.

“Yeah, Orniel, what are you doing here?” Dexter adds.

“Thought I was coming to save your ass from a beating.” He replies before he lifts his milkshake and takes a sip.

Dexter puts his hand on his heart, and I inhale a deep breath for patience.

“Who said I needed saving, maybe I was hoping to start a brawl on the wrong side of the tracks. It will be good for my reputation.”

I roll my eyes, “Enough. I need to get Dainy home.” I tell them.

“I can do that.” Reagan says.

“No need, we are staying at the Estate tonight.” I tell him.

“I am right here, can I think for myself,” Dainy voices out.

“No.” I say as Reagan says yes.

What happen Dainy, feeling a bit left out? Or maybe you just want Lover-boy to noitce, that you are in fact there. Either, you better watch out Dainy, or you might find yourself in the middle of a man fight.

Like this:

People don’t ask me when I became this way. No one can tell me that they understand why I am the way I am. I have never been normal. I wasn’t born in the world that most of you are born into. My world is not like yours. We call it The Fifth State. The life of the ones born with a target on their backs. An early grave. Our life is tied solely to our last name and how quick one can pull a trigger and get rid of the body.

My life has always been this way.

Death is inevitable. You either the one with the gun in your hand or the one pissing his pants. Life is something I learned to live like it is my last day, because today might just be that, my last day. The chances of an early grave has been instilled in me from the day I opened, my unseeing eyes. I was born and grew up knowing that my father carried a gun in his right pocket. That the ring on his index finger means that he is part of a dangerous family, the Catelli Famiglia.

Nobody fucked with our family or our kind and lived to tell the tale.

I was born knowing that one day I will marry a Made-man. And maybe I was born to be lucky as not having to marry for power or one of the other fucked up reasons our fathers chose our spouses, but I was born to be the wife of a criminal.

The extent of his crimes are still to be seen.

Us – the females of the Famiglia are honed to be wives to Made-Men, to turn a blind eye when our spouses have mistresses because that is their way of protecting us. I can’t say I’ve never wanted this life. It will be a worthless thought, as I have only ever known this way, and will die only ever knowing it too. We aren’t born in the Mafia to grow up and leave. That only happens in movies and books and even those, the happy endings aren’t that happy. Let us face facts, are we going to be happy walking away from who we are?

Are we going to be happy living a simple life, relying on a bunch of fucking cops to sort out our shit when trouble finds us? No, we would be miserable.

My granddad, a Capo, said that it is easier to off a man and hide the body than to report a crime and wait for the cops. It is a messed up response to life but sadly it is true. Many people look at us in horror as they hear the whispers of how bad the lives we live. Our men getting caught. The tabloids that slaughters our family names, paints us as monsters. Those lives that we call normal, the only one we will live gets looked upon with disgust, awe, jealousy. I will tell you now that it isn’t that bad.

It is like never falling prey to a handsome man.

How would one know the pain of a broken heart if you have never tasted the bliss of a forbidden fruit? We live our lives with no thoughts of how we are going to pay our bills. We take what we want. It is the only way we know. Our men take the risk and we, the women live in the benefits. Now while many of you had heard the way of the Mafia, the way of the Famiglia, I live in it. Here, now, I confess my sins. I tell you the way of the Mafia, I will tell you the way of our world without sugar coating it.

My name is Aliyana Capello, daughter of Consigliere Sartini Capello and this is my confession.

Chapter 2

There is hope in all of us, a small glimmer of it even in the evilest of villains to walk the earth.

And love, oh love, a human emotion that is reckless, wild, and free as it paints you into the promise of its false truth, that is our fail switch. Humanity- one emotion that is weak, well at least that is what my papa says.

We sacrifice so much for it that in the end we are a mirror of our suicide. I, Aliyana Capello am not immune to the dealings of the heart when it comes to one man.

I am as vulnerable as if I have already slit my own throat.

“He is so handsome,” I say as I look at the guy walking in front of my sister and I. Leonardo Catelli, third son of our Capo.

Today is a special day for the Famiglia. Marco and Deno Catelli will be choosing their brides. The future heirs of the Famiglia.

“Gli sciocchi si innamorano Yana.” Fools fall in love Yana.

“Sono una sciocca in amore,” I am a fool in love. I inform my eldest sister as we walk to the back of the hall to drop off the biscuits my stepmother made for tonight.

She laughs and her black hair shakes as she tries hard to make the loud noise quieter. I don’t understand why she bothers. She is loud.

My stepmother has tried for years to tame Guilia, but her mother, my papa’s first wife was a free spirit. She died not long after giving birth.

Guilia is just like her, with light green eyes and a brilliant smile that lights up any darkness. My papa told me that he liked Guilia and Filippo’s mother because she never backed out of a challenge. But like her mother she would never get to choose whom she loves.

Guilia will never experience the joy of a kiss with her first crush.

Because for ones like my sister, love will be something that will grow, and die a sudden death.

“Do you find it strange that he sees you every day yet still looks right passed you.” Her strong accent voices out the words I ask myself a thousand times a day.

I smile, because the closest to the real thing she’d ever get to a romance would be through me, even if it is unreciprocated. For now

“Yes, but when the time comes I will eventually make him see me.”

“You are 18 Yana, papa won’t allow you to pass another birthday without an engagement. You are so lucky to choose. I say you better snatch him up before someone beats you to it.” Words can come so easy, but the truth is he is a Catelli and they are pure bloods.

“I am half Russian Guilia.”

“A beautiful half Italian woman, who is educated. Any man would be happy to have you Yana.”

“Guilia, Yana.” We hear the sound of our names coming from a man behind us as we place the four trays of biscuits on the wooden counter. A huge grin brightens my face as the man walks closer to us.

His light blue jeans are filled with holes as his white tee shirt hangs loose around his torso but the promise of his shoulders broadening in a few years is not hidden. No, he is a true Italian man.

I whistle as I throw myself in his arms, “Black and red Jordans. You put in all the stops today, is Diamond here?”

He hugs me back and kisses me gently on my head and it is not the first time I wish that he could be the brother I want to marry. We are so much better together. It will be as simple as looking at him.

Reno is easy, but his heart belongs to a friend of mine named Diamond. She is a biker Princess from Liston Hills and the only one he loves. When he met her, I was there and I knew, she was his.

“No, my father insisted I come alone. I heard Leonardo got his eye on someone.” Reno makes a funny pout face as he swipes a biscuit from one of the trays.

“So Diamond isn’t coming?” I am surprised, she said she’ll be there tonight. It was the reason I extended the invitation to Kylie Bray.

“Of course she is coming. Kylie is bringing her as a plus one.” He rubs his shadowed beard as he looks behind me at the biscuits.

I roll my eyes, “You can take a few more, but if my stepmother finds out you are on your own.”

“I don’t know why we had to do it here in Washington, why not New York,” Guilia groans as Reno fills his left hand with biscuits.

She didn’t like Washington, but my sister liked the man who controlled it. A man I have never met. She saw him once.

“Marco and Deno take residence this side. My father wanted to see how the city is doing since my brothers took this side up with Vincent. Seattle is thriving, if all goes well my brothers will control more places and make the family stronger.”

He touches Guilia’s nose when she scrunches it. My sister, like most of the women know nothing of the dealings of our men. I have never been one of them. The dealings of our men were something I knew way too much about.

We talk about college and Diamond, and Kylie. Reno’s charm is infectious, and his don’t care attitude makes him my sisters focal point for the next thirty odd minutes.

My sister didn’t get the option of University as she didn’t make the cut. She didn’t see the need to apply for college either, with her impending engagement to whoever my father would choose. She was 23 and it was her one wish that Papa not marry her off before I finish school. It was a year back when my Papa fulfilled that promise. Guilia knew that her time had come. And I think secretly she wanted to get it done.

Papa kept Guilia under a very tight leash.

Which meant, she never saw many men very often, especially ones as handsome as Reno.

I am not surprised that she dots on every word Reno says. I am not surprised that her longing gaze stares at him without blinking either. It is times like these that I don’t wish to be a full bred Italian. That I am glad my father married my mother.

I ache for her and my other sister, who spend most of their time with my stepmother taking up the house or attending Gala’s and functions.

My father sent me to boarding school in Chicago when he witnessed my stepmother’s monstrous tongue lashing she gave me on a regular basis.

My papa slapped her a few times, but leaving her would’ve made him look weak.

He came home one evening and told our house maker to pack my bags. It was the next morning that I found out I was leaving to Chicago.

There was a group of kids selected to go to Chicago as a peace offering between two Italian syndicates. I was the only girl, and my papa had to deal with a lot of the questions that came from his decision but the alternative was worse.

All he ever wanted was to protect me. That is what he told me the morning I left. Didn’t mean it felt right at the time. I was only 11. Barely of age to take care of myself.

It was like we were pawned off. I never thought that we could become a family of our own.

For seven years we stuck together. Romero, Michel, Lorenzo (Reno), Gabriel and I.

The five of us were inseparable. We weren’t accepted in Chicago as our parents had hoped. I was treated the worse, and called a whore for staying with four boys.

What the other kids hoped would make us miserable, made us stronger. In the end we decided to join the same University, here in Washington.

To the people in the Famiglia, these four boys are my brothers. After seven years, the stories amongst our kind became history and my father’s choice of sending his half-blood daughter was looked as an honorable action, not a suicide to his name.

But unfortunately, marriage to any one of the four boys would be considered a scandal. It was the one thing my father couldn’t be clearer about as I got older.

The thing is, I didn’t care, they, were not him.

When I first saw Leonardo Catelli it was two days after my fifteenth birthday and the first day of summer vacation. He was moaning to Reno and Gabriel about having to fetch us.

He looked right past me. I never existed then, and I didn’t exist now. I was Yana, Reno’s friend.

It was my own personal torture that Leonardo Catelli became the only one for me. Maybe it was his voice, or his broad shoulders, or the fact that he was always smiling. Or those few moments we shared on the rare occasions he actually knew I existed. Whatever the reason, it got me to University, got me to Washington, got me to look at him as he crossed the Campus grounds and attended frat parties.

Sometimes I wondered if he was the only reason I chose to study business.

My papa was proud when I announced that I was going to further my studies.

He always empowered me.

In more ways than one.

Except when it came to the matters of the heart, I was clueless as my sister. My father preached to me that love will not guarantee me a stress free life.

“I have not met your brother, Marco. Is he as charming as Deno?” I tease, aware that my sister is hoping to get chosen by Marco. I have not seen the man in person but his brother, Deno is a regular when Reno is around. His dark humor always welcome. If I could say it aloud, I would call him a friend.

But it has been a while since I have seen him. There are rumors that the Famiglia is shifting power. And Deno Catelli is the name whispered as the main player.

Unlike my sisters and most women of the Famiglia and even the ones that make up the 5th State, I know the dealings of our men.

Growing up I was always ashamed of having only half Italian blood. My papa told me to be proud of the Bratva’s blood in my veins. He said our women were strong but the Russian’s made their women unbreakable. He said I am unbreakable. I like to believe that is true.

“He’s hard work, thank fuck you don’t have to marry for power or you might just be stuck with one of my clan.” He laughs and I smack his arm knowing he is teasing me because of Leonardo.

Reno has known about my affections for his brother from that first day.

“I have to leave you ladies now. Guilia, it was lovely seeing you again. And my Yana Banana. I’ll be your plus one tonight, so wear something short and fleshy.” He winks at me as he saunters off.

“There is always a choice, we can go Gunzo on her and zap zap, ditch the body. Who would know?” Guilia says it like that can be an option as she starts the car. I slam my door closed.

“Ilaria is papa’s wife, we can’t go zap zap, or someone would zap zap us,” I inform my sister. We both hate the woman but tolerate her, I more than Guilia.

But my sister is lucky there, as she is the eldest daughter, and my eldest brother, Filippo will never let anyone harm our spirited sister.

We get home in an hour. The familiarity of it is welcomed to me as I have lived here for a while, with my papa.

This house is one of my fathers’ many properties. Like most in the Famiglia, my father has legitimate businesses and The 5th State ones.

The four floor Mansion me and my sister walk into is one of the legitimate things he owns. Real Estate.

“Hello, siamo a casa papa.” We are home papa

My papa doesn’t respond. He is either busy or out back in the gardens.

“You two are quite cheerful today, excited for tonight.”

Filippo my eldest brother walks out from the open arch way leading to the study. His voice is deep and loud as his big smile makes us giddy. I haven’t seen him in a month.

He looks handsome and refined in his navy suit and grey tie, Guilia and I picked out for him last week.

We both say my brother is a handsomer version of Christian Grey. He has grey/brown eyes and dark hair which is almost black. His jaw is clean shaven and when he smiles he has a dimple just under his eye.

“I didn’t know you were here, Papa said you would make it only tonight.” I say as my brother kisses me first on my cheeks, then my sister.

“Ah, Papa, wanted to surprise you.” He grabs us by one hand each and we follow him.

We know Filippo, he has got us something. He is always giving us presents.

I hear the sound of my other sister and brother, as we pass the back door leading to the pool. We like to call them the devil twins. They could burn the house down without a match stick.

“Papa is gone out, he took my car, should be back in a few, but I got something for the two of you.” He says as he opens the garage door.

I see it first and squeal jumping like a mad thing. It is a Lime Green Ashton Martin Vantage. My sister takes a few seconds to realize that this is the car we have wanted forever.

She jumps with me and we both throw ourselves at Filippo.

I kiss his cheeks and he laughs, trying to hold both of us.

Guilia almost falls but someone stops her and she makes a funny noise that has me releasing my brother and looking at the man that has his arm around my sister’s waist.

He is older, his early to mid-thirties. He has broad shoulders that stand out behind his suit jacket and a lethal presence that has me frowning.

His black eyes send shivers everywhere through my body as it stares at me while my sister takes a step back. The eyes of a killer.

A dark shadowed face and black unkempt hair is unlike a Made-Man but everything else is exact. From the shiny tan shoes, to the tailored cream pants and matching jacket.

He is a Made-Mad-Man.

I have always been attracted to a man with big hands. It is the only reason as to why my eyes go to his. Thick, long fingers, with veins around his knuckles and a long cut on his forefinger, makes me swallow hard. His hands can easily wrap around my neck, overpowering me. I frown, looking at his hand because he is currently holding that hand out waiting for me to take it.

Everything in me is screaming not to touch him. My body wants to run, so why is that I can’t drop my eyes from his.

I don’t want to be rude and disrespect my brother so I put my big pants on and my small hand in his. He closes his fingers around my dainty ones. His touch is rough, and firm, and his hands are neither cold nor warm. I don’t appreciate my bodies reaction to him. My pulse that beats on my wrist, the flush coming to my cheeks. The heat I feel emanating from his eyes.

He is staring, Aliyana. Don’t let him know you are affected by him.

“It is a pleasure to meet you..” His voice is deep, too deep, I don’t like it. He senses my need to remove my hand and grips it tighter. The action has my eyes stabbing right through his. Black, black eyes. Evil. But even evil is beauty. I deny the slight kick I get when his mouth twitches. He is waiting for my name. I need to tell him.

“Aliyana, I am Filippo’s sister.”

“Ah, Aliyana. I am Marco,” He replies.

He drops it, but not before brushing the inside of my palm as he does. The touch is intimate. The most intimate thing I have ever experienced no doubt in my sheltered life. Living with the four guys didn’t make me have more freedom. In fact it made any privacy impossible.

I take a step away, removing myself from our close proximity and behold my eyes, walking closer to us is Leonardo Catelli. He is a mystery to the Catelli bloodline. Where his brothers are dark, he is light. Brown eyes that are perfect, look at me, and as always, I remain like a statue. Marco is tall, but Leonardo is much taller than his older brother.

“You two go inside, we need to talk business. The keys to the car are on the dresser in my room, you can drive to Azure tonight.” Filippo orders us and I kiss my brother as my sister moons over Marco. I have to pull her arm so she comes inside with me. And even then she turns her head around at least a few times. I do it once, as I close the door to our home. One day I would ask myself why my gaze is drawn to Marco Catelli, a man with mad eyes and not the one whom I want. Dark vs Light.

Chapter 3

“We are stalkers Yana.” My sister mumbles from next to me.

I don’t miss Leonardo watching us with a small smile on his thick lips.

We’ve been peeping from the top of my bedroom window at the three of them for the last twenty minutes.

They have now taken their discussion to the patio. Sitting on the large out door lounge suites we purchased just two days ago. It makes it easier for us to see them.

He is so cute. “Leonardo and you will make a great couple Aliyana, imagine what your babies would look like, and Marco, ah Yana.” She groans my name nudging me on my king size bed.

I sigh, throwing myself flat on the black and purple bedding, looking at the ceiling, “He is the guy for me, tonight at the dinner I am going to make my move.”

“We need to go shopping,” My sister declares, her eyes widening with glee. But not even this moment, can we hide her fear of tonight.

She will become betroth to a Made-man of my father’s choosing tonight.

Who? I don’t know, my papa has not mentioned it. After tonight my sister will prepare for her engagement. The only thing that keeps us sane about this night, is that my papa will choose well and Marco and Deno will also be choosing their brides. My sister is hoping for Marco, but Deno is a better choice in my opinion. My forehead scrunches into a frown as I relive that split second when Marco touched my palm. It was a graze, but I feel like it is something more.

I stare at my sister, knowing what lies ahead.

Every family has their fortunate ones and the unfortunate. For mine it was my parent’s marriage been that of the fortunate.

My mother was a woman, a 9th generation member of the Bratva. She was also the love of my father’s life.

My father, born and raised to be a powerful member of the Famiglia, a Consigliere to the Capo Dei Capi, The boss of all bosses. He is the one who controls the entire 5th State, or as commoners know it as the Underworld.

All the Capo’s regardless of whether you were Italian or Irish, answered to him.

Whoever he is, nobody knows besides a select few. My father is one of those people.

When the Russians landed in New York, they agreed a peace offering. A marriage between my mother and Papa was negotiated.

My parents were young and fortunate, as they fell in love with each other and all was good, in fact Papa said it was amazing. The Russians and the Italians were happy, until the time came for the offering. The Bratva agreed on peace on one condition, that the first child which they’d hoped was a boy would be given to them at age 5. But my mother bore a girl and when the time came, they couldn’t do it.

So, the Famiglia protected her as they knew how.

Until the Capo of the Famiglia declared an end to his reign, and the new Capo rose. The decision was not made by the Capo Dei Capi as my sister’s life wasn’t that important that they take it to the true head. And our Capo seemed to have frozen his heart and gave my sister away. A deal is a deal, he said.

She was the unfortunate of my family. I, however am the fortunate sibling.

I’ve never met my sister. I was the last of my mother’s children to be born. She died when I was three so I don’t remember much. My father remarried as is custom in our world. And finally managed to produce another male. I, being the Russian’s daughter will never be forced to marry.

I am born free to have a choice of whom I choose to marry as long as he is in the Famiglia, which is fine by me. I always wished to be with Leonardo. Staring at my ceiling, I have to admit that when I saw him today, my attention was not the one he sought.

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Hello to all of you bloggers and subscribers. I have disappeared recently. But, I am back now. I have been sorting out my books and writing more books and figuring out how to make the blog better. I like to think out of the box and I want to provide a quality experience that is both entertaining and informative to all of you. Unfortunately I had to also let my marketer go which was a major set back in my life, working a full time job and still maintaining my identity as a full time parent and writer can be a challenge. That is putting it lightly, but I love blogging and writing.

I needed to take a few months to come up with a schedule and a solid plan as to how I am going to do everything. I have done just that, I have realized recently the power of time management and the joys of saying no to a lot of stuff and people.

I have also recently stopped ghost writing and researching on the weekends, in order to focus more on the blog and writing. I thought the sudden change would be nerve wrecking as it is a big source of my income and as a single mother, that could be a stressful decision, however, that was not the case when I stopped a few weeks back. I actually find that I am more at peace. I now have a clear vision in where I am going and the way I wish to give back to the writing community as well as assisting our youth of today and tomorrow.

Making a difference in peoples lives has always been a goal of mine, no matter how small or large that difference is, helping someone in anyway is important. We can change the world one person at a time.

I know I have gotten off track, my apologies, so let us get back to the topic of this blog, shall we.

School Me Season 1 started late 2016 and it is now 2019, and I hope that season 4 kicks off (Again) with a big bang. A lot of people that have joined recently have not read the first three seasons. I wanted to make the three books free for a limited time, but I am not able to just yet. As one knows I pay to have the blog and the time and effort it takes to keep it running is time consuming. I offer the free content on a day to day basis and will be offering more free content, such as deleted scenes, playlists and a lot more to come up in the weeks that follow.

And maybe in time I will be able to start up the giveaways shortly. Which I think is an excellent idea. Unfortunately after the season is over, I take the work and compile it into a book and sell it for 1 to 2 dollars to try and cover the cost of the blog or at least some of it.

There is some exciting news, so read on.

School Me season 4 will be starting up from June 3rd 2019. The page a day will be sent straight to your inbox and comments and suggestion will be allowed on Goodreads, Amazon, the Website and Youtube (Yes, you have heard correctly). I am going to be posting from season 1 on to a Youtube channel called Liston Hills Series. I will post the link closer to the time and it will be 100% free to enjoy. But for those of you who would like to purchase the books and catch up in time for season 4, below is the links for the books. All books will be getting paperback copies that are going to be affordable for everyone.

Thank you for your patience and understanding and stay tuned. I am going to be posting a news letter tomorrow with sneak peaks from Killers story and Capo Dei Capi’s release date and my upcoming book I wrote with my 8 year old daughter, Kady-Co, titled ‘Shock Me Twice’ (It is a futuristic, young adult series based on Liston Hills teens) It is a 10k word book for teens and young adults.

A year ago Sabastian Delroy left Liston Hills and a heartbroken Dainy Hallow with it, now he is BACK. Only things aren’t how he left it. Seems like Ms Hallow isn’t up for the taking but fear not, a Delroy always gets his girl.

Follow the lives of Liston Hills Elite in this twelve part series as they learn that money might make the world go round but it doesn’t guarantee you happiness.

Liston Hills is back with a vengeful twist and Dainy Hallow and Sabastian Delroy are the main suspects. Hold on Liston Hill’ers, Dainy Hallow might just be favoring orange soon.

The small town of Liston Hills, takes a wrong turn when a Gina Lorne is found dead in the towns RIVER. Sabastian and Dainy’s secrets surface as they relive the past and turn to Kylie Bray for help. Reagan Orniel knows how to catch attention when he goes missing after an encounter with his estranged relative turns bad.

And who is Lizzy Trent? All that and more in the 2nd Season of School Me

Welcome back Liston Hill’ers. Secrets have a way of shedding light to an unanswered question. But, some secrets, they stir up a mountain of problems. Sabastian Delroy might be getting soft, when he gets a threatening call from a stranger. Looks like he just made a new enemy,or was it his past saying hello? Dainy takes a trip with Kylie Bray, but things don’t go according to plan. Ms. Bray’s intentions might not be as noble as Dainy thought. Watch out sweet Dainy, playing with a sinner might just get you a ticket to hell. Lizzy gets closer to finding out who killed her father, and comes face to face with Mason Bray. Be-careful new girl, a Bray is a Heart-breaker.

“I can’t love you Kevin.” Loving you will hurt me, because you won’t love me back. I don’t the words out loud.

“Why not, am I so bad that I can’t be loved, because I am pretty sure that you love me Sienna.”

“You going to leave me.”

“But I will come back, this is who I AM..”

“I know Kevin, and you know that this is who I am , you said it yourself, I am not the one you wanted. I spent my whole life running, pretending, moving since before I was even able to talk. And then I saw you , I was only eight. You have been looking through me my whole life, and now you just barely starting to see me but I tell you Kevin if you dig hard and deep enough you will be disappointed in how ordinary I am. I am not Natasha. I have never been her.”

“I know that.”

“So tell me, I love you with all my heart and she walks through that door right now and tells you she loves you and wants you that you will choose me. You tell me that I will give you my heart. You already own every other piece of me.” I look at him and his eyes say it all. Kevin will never love me, he isn’t capable of that. Because of that very reason his obsession for Natasha will always come first.

How do I blame a soldier who has given his whole life for our country for not loving me. When he can’t love himself.

“Natasha is the only one for you Kevin. You helped Kellan and I, for that I will always be grateful, but your need to protect me is not enough.”

“You don’t know what the fuck you are talking about Sienna. I have been yours since you fell in my arms six years ago.”

I hope you guys enjoyed that small piece. More to follow soon. Let me know in the comments what you think. Sienna and Killer have grown on me, and I am loving the story. It is very different from Beggar and Zero, but I think you guys will enjoy it. The AMAZON link to Beggar is below if you haven’t gotten on The Satan Sniper’s MC’s ride as yet. For all other links go to my website https://shanrk.com

I was on the streets, until I wasn’t. They took me, fed me, clothed me. For a time I was happy, until he came back. I had five years to accept his chains, my monster. He owned me, until I met the Enforcer of The Satan Snipers.

It is that short moment of smiles and butterflies. Most of the time it begins with that kiss and ends in those tears and that on going depression. Note I said ‘those tears’ because let us face it, the tears always pour.

Dating today can be amazing. It could be so amazing that you stop and think for just a second that it is a dream. An unimaginable dream as you stare at that person and have your whole life flash by. The past becomes a worthy story, the present a place that is perfect and the future that once seemed dim, blooms with possibilities.

My first month of research gone. What have I learned? I learned that what meets the eyes isn’t exactly what one is getting. In fact it is the opposite. The Christian Grey is far and in between. That Elvis Presley, James Dean gorgeous man is not going to change his ways because you wore that black dress and paid for a fancy makeover. And that tattooed bad boy that reminds you of Jason Momoa isn’t going to change his helmet and one night stands because you waited a day longer than the rest. Nah, what I have learned, is that those guys go for those women who don’t bother with the dress, the fancy make up and even the ‘wait before the third date’ sex. They go for those women who will break them more. (Sorry ladies)

And what about you men, that girl that is always smiling in the corridor of your work place that reminds you of Jessica Alba or Cara Delevingne, isn’t going to notice you because you decided to get yourself a six pack, or grow a beard (They are a hot trend now). They are going to go for their boss or some well known guy that is going to put that big diamond on their finger. And guys, he isn’t going to be anything to cringe about nor drool over. But he will make her stop and strike a conversation with him, so who cares. (Sad but true, so far).

Dating in this modern world, is not a ‘what you get what you see scenario’. It is a tidal of lies, a mirror of differences and a story of fleeting twists. Sometimes, I swear it is so close to a romance novel and at other times it is something from a nightmare or really depressing thriller.

Regardless, those who search for that special someone or perfect bed warmer, keep putting themselves through the endless game of the heart, or brain (I was told recently that love is a head space, that emotions are just the mind telling you what to do).

A few months back, I came up with this idea of writing a book about dating in a modern world. I sort of tested the waters at first with a few people to see their reaction (It wasn’t pleasant). But I am known to do my own thing, and proceeded regardless of the opinions of others, (It is my life, time and energy). I hooked myself up on a date site/s. The thought crossed my mind to lie and make up a fake profile but I chose honesty. My gran used to tell me that lies hurt when it is found, but the truth kills instantly and eventually brings one to life. I believe she had a point to her words and I live by them.

Two years ago, I myself became a single woman. It does feel like a bit longer, (I am still single). I have dated since my disaster marriage and went through the motions but it felt empty. Those relationships felt empty, like I was missing something.

What? I am trying to figure out as I proceed with this book.

It is amazing at how brass and fast people move today. It scared the romance right out of me and left it on the floor in a puddle of defeat. I chose a while back, that I wasn’t going to get myself caught up in the new way society look at dating and the ways in which they proceed. It was a conscious decision and I am glad I have stuck to my guns. (Though I am known to be a ‘runner’ so says my mother). It just means I am too fast to catch, nothing really wrong with that. Not my fault they are too slow. (Just Kidding).

So one month of research and talking to so many different people has really got me thinking about the future and how exactly this story is going to unfold. I have met so many different individuals.

Yes, I do get asked out a lot (I was warned before I started the book). I admit that I did get a bit side tracked and fell for a bit of charm and finesse. It was a fleeting moment, and reminded me that I am in fact human, I do feel emotions. Obviously nothing came out of it and I am back on track, but between you and I, I wish that I would meet someone who will last long enough for me to at least finish a book about our story. But as optimism still blooms brightly in my soul, I believe my cowboy is watching that sky darken until the stars tell stories of their lovers past. He is waiting for me with his heart full of love and his brain wanting to be filled with memories of us. But for now, he is growing, breathing and just waiting. I wait too.

This month has been an eye opener for me. I started this journey skeptical, convinced that I would only find fault, but I have found so much more. I have found strength, friends, people that still keep their heads up after getting beaten and cheated on.

There is wonder in this world, stories that lay in the minds, screaming to be revealed, teaching us that we are so much greater than our past, better than what is seen through a strangers eyes. Face the facts, anyone that has come into your life, is that – A stranger. Whether they have known you for 10 minutes or 10 years, they are and will always be strangers. You are the only one who will ever know you. So love yourself better than you love anyone. Trust yourself first, before you trust anyone else and choose yourself above most.

It is hard at times to make these choices, but as my journey progresses and I learn more, I realize each day that the world looks at you through your own eyes.

And for those of you who have kids, our kids are our greatest treasures, our biggest accomplishment/s. They are the product of what we teach them, the hours of our life we give and don’t want back. One day when they become adults they will teach their owns kids and pave their own way, so let us guide them in a direction of truth, love, and knowledge. Teach them, love them, but do not make them weak. The world is one filled with chaos that can be dark but also just as wild and free.

Like this:

“Didn’t know you were up here.”
My father’s voice drives the imminent silence in the room, taking my attention away from the two women as I turn to face him.
I slip my hands in my pants pocket mirroring his pose.
“Thought I would stay the weekend, since the event is tonight.” I say
“Yes, I would’ve thought you’d invite Dainy.”
I smile at my fathers attempt to snoop, “Not yet, I never liked catfishing.”
He laughs, “It has its disadvantages, but still the best way to catch a big fish.”
Shaking my head my smile widens as I move a few steps closer to my father who is standing by the oak stained door.
“I’ll keep that in mind old man.”
He closes the gap between us.
My father is at least four inches taller in height.
He puts his hand on my shoulder, making sure he has my full attention.
Which he always does.
“I’m proud of you son, you did what you had to, you protected her. That is a man Sabastian. Us Delroys, we only love once, she will come back.”
He looks pass me when he says that , his mind going somewhere in the past.
It isn’t the first time I wonder about his special woman.
My grandfather once told me that my father was in love with his best friend, until she fell in love with someone else, a man from the other side of the tracks.
I never did know who it was that ripped my father’s heart.
He seems to catch his brain somewhere.
Dropping his hand from my shoulder, shoving it into his pocket, he smiles tightly.
His shadows and secrets there for me to see, but my father is such an accomplished man that even I wouldn’t dare cross him, or question him.
“Let’s go have lunch son.” The sound of the Jet sounds the air as he finishes that sentence, and It takes everything in me not to turn around.
We sitting downstairs on the deck, the outside breakfast table set with a variety of cheese,
fruit , nuts, and cold meat.
I’m sipping on my ice tea, whilst my father reads the paper.
The Suns rays shinning directly on the swimming pool when my phone chimes.
I admit that my first thought is Dainy but that hope quickly dies a humiliating death, she
won’t be dialling out as she is with Kylie and one of the things I asked Kylie to do was keep
my vixen busy these next two days .
“Delroy.” I say, answering the blocked number.
“Stop digging or you and your little bitch will be wearing orange suits pretty fucking soon.”
The call is cut, and the male raspy voice rings in my ear.
I remain cool and collective even though I am completely pissed off. My father remains
reading and I push my chair back in a polite manner.
“Not finishing your tea? Did Sheila make it too sweet ?” My father asks not dropping the
paper from his face.
“Tea was lovely as always, I’ve got some business needing my attention, I will see you tonight dad.”
I button up my suit jacket and walk around the house.
My mind, body, even my blood is wanting to run and track this fucker down,
then destroy him.
Nobody threatens my Vixen and gets away with it.
As I round the corner phone still in my hand I speed dial Kent.
“If it can’t wait until next week don’t let me know. I’m stacked,” He says in greeting.
Normally I find his dry sarcasm slightly amusing, today somebody I don’t now got a hold of my number.
Today some strange man threatened Dainy.
Today I think I just might have found out who killed Gina.
“Meet me at the cabin, someone just threatened Dainy.” I put the phone down but not before I hear his muttered fuck.
“So what’s happening with Dainy?” He takes a sip of the whiskey he opted for, walking closer to the couch I am currently sitting on.
I shrug, keeping my eyes on him, whilst my right index finger idly plays with the rim of the glass I have placed on the armrest, “Told you, somebody threatened her.”
“I thought you got Kylie playing bffs’ with her this weekend, how the fuck does she get threatened when she practically has the mafia and the Satan Sniper’s guarding her every move.”
He takes a big gulp of his drink stretching his neck.
“They are not guarding her, and the mafia isn’t guarding anyone, they merely playing i-spy on Kylie for Vincent, there is a difference. I got a call thirty minutes ago from an anonymous male man. Said I should stop digging or Dainy will be wearing an orange suit.”
“Fuck, how did this become so complicated?” He walks toward the three seater directly opposite me in three long strides, and sits down in a Kent fashion. “One small lie and now what? How long are we going to keep running in circles , lying , deceiving people?”
“As long as it takes since when did you have a problem with it?”
He finishes off his warm whiskey, “Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining. Hell, cut me in, not like I have a choice but if the choice was there. Pick me, It’s just that this shit is going to bite us in the ass and I’m going to be the one cleaning this fucking mess up.”
A Delroy always protects their own

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The Recap will be done by Friday.

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Well, while I was reading Beauty’s Breath, because it is getting released tomorrow, I had this feeling of so much emotion clogging me.

PHEW. So, with all my dramatics I cried horribly. My daughter was looking at me weird. I told her I was reading and she started laughing and said, “Oh mama.”

So long story short, the book is a great book. I am happier with this piece of work than I was with River’s Keeper. The story has you wanting to pull out your hair at times. Which is funny because I wrote it. But I have always wrote stuff for my own enjoyment so I find it easy to forget that I wrote a book and read it.

So I wrote a small piece and It isn’t much but I want to share it with you guys.

“Baby girl you breaking my heart.”

“Kevin, don’t please, I just, I can’t.” Words don’t come easy when a heart is breaking, it gets harder when the only one who can mend it chooses not to.

“I thought I will never find a woman who made me feel, but baby girl, I love you. You are it for me Sienna. You were never the one I wanted, but you are the only one I will ever want again.”

“Kevin.”

“I know baby, I feel you too.”

So that is it so far. But I see awesome things coming to the Satan Snipers. I want to spice things up. Killer is also going to get a two or three part story. Then my hope is to write Rivers and Hannah’s story. So more on that soon. Don’t forget to stay awesome. Email me on shanRk@zoho.com and let me know what you people think

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Hello everyone and a Happy New Year to all of you.
It has been a while since I last blogged about anything really.
The truth is, I have wrote, and deleted at least a thousand words explaining to why this is the case. Truth? I didn’t know how to tell almost three thousand people why I have been slacking (I use the word slacking with great emphasis) with all major parts in my life.
I do not believe in the thrill or joy a New Year brings, but I do believe in taking a new turn in life, changing your path.
I believe that when you hit your rock bottom you have to admit your faults and your discrepancies to yourself first. Then you have to apologize to everyone else.
So without further a due. Let me try this again .
I AM SORRY FOR MY LACK OF PROFESSIONALISM. I AM SORRY FOR NOT DELIVERING THE STUFF I INTENDED TO DELIVER. I APOLOGIZE FOR LETTING MY PERSONAL ISSUES GET IN THE WAY OF MY DREAM AND THIS VISION WE WERE CREATING TOGETHER. I AM MOST IMPORTANTLY SORRY FOR LETTING YOU DOWN.
I have no excuses and I am not going to make any. I started writing four years ago and on March 25th I will be a Self Published Author for three of those years.
Writing is everything to me, which to many reading this sounds sad but it is not sad to me.
I fell a long time ago, my life has never been a normal one (lightly speaking). I had a lot of challenges like many of you. But I blocked it out because I didn’t want my past, or where I came from to define me.
I want to define myself.
People like to believe that your past plays a role in your life, and it does to an extent. That extent is your choosing. I have seen people that come from the worst places you can imagine filled with drugs and prostitution, who made choices that were hard, and difficult so that they don’t amount to what society thinks. It amazed me then and still amazes me now. It gives the world hope for change if you just open your eyes and see. Stop just looking, start taking it all in. Understand, learn, and become who you are meant to be.
I was still realizing these things, learning so much, and I got lost along my path of discovery.
Not many of you know this, but my ex husband was the one who got me to sit down on his desk chair and put the laptop in front of me. He said write, just write your stories down. (He is definitely reading this and smiling)
Coming from a surgeon I was shocked, but for all his faults he is a wise man so I DID. And with writing books and losing myself in words I became whole for those moments.
I started to reevaluate my life, teaching myself something I didn’t know I could even do. I used to write from three in the morning ’till ten or eleven at night. I was writing a story about demons and angels, Lightwatchers and Asgaurdians, but I was also living in that world.
For those hours I was a girl with the world counting on her to defeat Hell. What I didn’t realize is subconsciously I was learning to breathe. I was finding me. The battle was really with myself, my own demons, my own sins, and mistakes all tumbled up into a kick ass story.
My book flunked when I finally published it (In case you wondering), but I made a box of copies and handed it out to a few people. They said it was brilliant and that was good enough for me, because you see, writing a story to me, is not for the praise, or the glory or fame.
Writing to me is telling you a story, is opening myself up to you, the reader. I am sharing all those hours I put into that book with you. It is an invitation to a whole new world. I am screaming in my words, yelling at you, calling you to just read me. Whether you enjoyed the book it is up to you, the reader.
I am the one who wrote it, so of course I loved it, for every word written and every scene played is all in my mind and now on paper. I like to think of it as this- My books are from my brain, so when you review me, you should ask yourself did you like my brain. (it sounds stupid, but it is something to mule over)
So after that book, House of Legions, I decided to write another book. This one many of you know, it is called Beggar, obviously the book sold A LOT of copies and it set off a chain of events- the blog, website, my first failed attempt on facebook.
I also grew as a person, started looking at the world through other peoples eyes. Trying to understand characters, what makes up a persons persona. I read a lot, traveled, got divorced.
Then I lost it all and at the time I felt low, lonely and I was just writing really dark stuff. Sometimes my hands would start to shake so I did what any author should not. I became a ghost writer, started writing scenes under another name. I joined one of the researching companies, did some research, then joined a publishing magazine. I started handing in my poetry, also under a different name (they published seven of them, crazy right?).
I started posting poetry on Instagram, then published my own poetry book, (that flunked badly) I didn’t care that it did. But while doing all of this, I slowly started to discover someone I never knew (myself).
Years ago I was a simple woman who never had the desire to have friends, who didn’t see the importance of family besides my little girl. It took me the year of 2018 to discover that I am human. I feel emotion, I like having friends and I love my family.
I connected with people, some in my life for a seasonal smile, others in my life for a reason to smile.
I learned a lot in 2018, I even learned the stress of being a single mother with no job and a kid who still smiles when you say no. And that people might be nice to you, but they are not always your friends. I learned that we meet people in our lives for different reasons, not all of them are good ones.
I experienced tears of joy. The heaviness of great loss. An untold agony of hurt. To many of you, this is your life, it is life. Trials and errors. For me, I feel that I have only started paving my own life. From a sheltered girl in a small town to the woman I am today I am proud of who I am.
Everyday it gets easier to understand the one who stares back at me from my bathroom mirror. I am no more lost because I have found my place and writing stories, sharing words with all of you is part of that place I call home.
So I want to start again.
My name is Shan R.K and I am an Author and blogger. I have a beautiful and intelligent daughter that talks at least 3000 words an hour on a quiet day.
I am a reading addict, so much so that I have mastered the art of cooking and reading to the T.
I have never been on a live podcast or video because I always chicken out. I am convinced I have a bad voice.
My mother is crazy, who loves to control everybody ( at least she tries) that I love.
My dad is scary on most days but he can crack a joke better than most comedians and dance worst than a chicken with no legs. (Sorry dad)
I hate cooking, but I am really good at it, especially 20 minute meals, which I tend to do a lot of.
Most of the time the stuff that comes out of my mouth is mostly book related. I have a dog that lives with my ex husband. His name is Falcor (yes, like never ending story), he is born on April 9th just like me.
I have a secret desire to be a vigilante and save the world (I am keeping that one for the books).
I am a terrible driver. I have written my learners like four times and still no licence (sucks a lot at times, nay for me, and yay for Uber).
Most nights I have insomnia so I tend to write a lot of stuff that I will never publish because you guys would think I am seriously a nutjob. But sometimes my mind just comes up with these crazy stories and I have to put it down to paper.
My favorite color is red on most days except when I am hormonal, then it is black because it is all I want to wear.
No matter how hot it is I still sleep with a blanket. I have this crazy idea in my head that if I don’t I will get old quickly, (I said Crazy)
And from right now, I promise to fulfill my promise to all of you and give you guys the best books you have ever read and continue my blog with the Liston Hills Series. This year 2019 I am going to take my life lessons, and break my own record.
I feel it is going to be a fulfilling year. I am going to go live soon on Instagram and overcome my fear of ‘live’ social media.
It is going to be an eye opener for me and the ones who watch. We are going to need a lot of coffee once I start that.

Thank you guys for reading this. I think this is the most I have ever spoken about myself in one sitting but I believe time is wasting so it is best to just put it all out there. Move on. Forward.

Tomorrow I will post the release dates of the books and start prepping for Liston Hills which will be returning February 4th.
Poster and trailers will be going up soon.

What I want to do is open comments on the blog and really bring you all together. So let me know what you guys think and if you have any suggestions please do let me know. I love people with a voice.