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NBC's Saturday Night Live this weekend will observe the
thirtieth anniversary of its first show. The original cast really
burned out. Last week tourists reported seeing Chevy Chase in an
antique shop on Rodeo Drive, for twelve hundred dollars.

Get Rich or Die Trying caused a controversy Friday with its
movie billboards in Los Angeles. It's about gang life and the rap
music scene. Billboard magazine said the movie glorifies violence
and encourages drug use and gave it four stars.

McDonald's announced Monday it will print full nutritional
information on all of its food wrappers to try to prevent obesity
lawsuits. The problem is out of control. Americans are so
overweight that La-Z-Boy has begun selling Sport Utility Recliners.

Michelle Wie gave Bill Clinton a check for five hundred
thousand dollars for Hurricane Katrina relief in Las Vegas Sunday.
Then they played a round of golf together. She helped him with his
golf swing and he showed her how to improve a lie.

The Agriculture Department vowed to ensure that frozen
Thanksgiving turkeys will be safe this year. Customs vary. New
Yorkers don't buy frozen Thanksgiving turkeys, they prefer to buy
the bird live and then push it in front of a subway train.

Prince Charles denounced technology Sunday for ruining our
culture. He is not thinking it through. No one could imagine that
when English colonists landed in Virginia there would come a day
when we averaged an extra hundred yards off the tee.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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