Ambition drags Buhari and Atiku before Mbaka

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The Lord looked down to earth and saw the anguish of His people in the year 2014 AD. This was the year of the pestilence when the lazy and thoughtless King Nathan, the Fisherman ruled over the land flowing with milk and honey. Multitudes had gathered in the cities of Lagos, Ibadan, Abuja, Kano, Kaduna, Port Harcourt, Benin, Warri, Makurdi, Maiduguri, Minna, Aba, Awka, Calabar, and all over the plains, and cried unto the Lord, seeking His face to free them from the affliction brought about by the misrule of Nathan. But Nathan will not listen to the lamentations of the masses for his disciples were smarter than him and had blocked his eyes from seeing, and turned his ears away from hearing the wailing of the masses even as the disciples secretly laid the treasures of the land in their private storehouses for themselves and their generations unborn.

Like the great King Herod, King Nathan had a wife, who was lost in lust for fame and fortune instead of calling her husband to the path of wisdom. A commoner from lowly beginning, she soon became more powerful in the land than the weak king, who loved strong drinks and unintelligent chatter. Often referred to by the angry masses as sheppopotamus, no other ruler’s wife in the history of the land was so virulent, meddlesome, and combative. But she did not bury one of the 10 talents bestowed on her by the Most High as she speaketh the English Language much better than William, the son of Shakespeare and Oluwole, the son of Soyinka, gifting the language a new word and phrases such as “Chai,” “Na only you waka come?” and “Dia ris god o.”

And in the third month of 2015AD, the cries of the people rose up to God in heaven. Thus, a strong wind blew northward from the southern hemisphere, uprooting palms, cedars, mahoganies and causing a quake in the seas and over the land.

“Mba! Mba! Mba!” thrice God called out to his servant on the Mountain of Adoration, “As I changed Abram to Abraham, I shall change your name from Mba to Mbakaogu, which means ‘It is better to scold than to fight.’ The short form of your new name shall be Mbaka. Thou shall take my word to my people. Thou shall tell them to return to me, the Lord God of Host. Thou shall go up to the Shoeless Man of O’-Two-Ok, thou shall tell him to change his ways and stop chastising my people with scorpion. I will tear up his kingdom if he fails to hearken to my word.”

And Mbaka went up to Nathan, who never wore a pair of shoes all his childhood, and told him what the Lord had said. It came to pass that after hearing the message of the merchant priest, Nathan went into his closet and rent his clothes; and poured ashes on his head, and did not eat for three days and three nights. Disturbed, his wife went up to him, and said, “My king, why hath thou forsaken my food and the warmth of my bosom, thy place on the bed is cold.” Thus, Nathan disclosed what the Prophet of God hath said

Therefore, she called her husband’s trusted disciples, and narrated what the ‘Profit’ had said. There arose a suggestion among the cabal to invite the Man of Dog and ask him how many fatlings and shekels of gold would be needed for a burnt offering in order for the Lord to smile on Nathan and make him retain his sinking kingdom.

And the cabal’s spokesperson, Methu-selah, acting on the orders of Allan Sharer, who is the National Security Adviser, laid thousands of herds of cows, goats and sheep before Mbakaogu even as he laid millions of shekels of silver and gold according to the desire of the priest’s heart.

But Bourdillon was the wisest tactician in the army of the Mallam of Daura, who was planning to upstage Nathan. Greedy and cunning, Bourdillon, the vassal lord of the richest land in the country, went after Mbaka in the dead of the night and offered 100 folds more of what Nathan and his cabal offered, and the evil spirit entered Mbaka as he turned the bible upside down, reading from the Book of Ecclesiastes 11:2 which says, “Invest in seven ventures, yes, in eight; you do not know what disaster may come upon the land,” and also the Book of Proverbs 13:16 which says, “A wise man thinks ahead; a fool doesn’t, and even brags about it!”

Immediately he received the countless fatlings, gold and silver from Bourdillon, an unholy spirit seized the priest, and he convulsed, but because his mind had been hardened by the root of all evils, he went unto the altar and profaned against the name of the Most High, turning the House of God into a stock exchange. When the congregation heard what he spoke, they murmured among themselves and asked, “Is this not our priest, AGK the son of Mbakaogu who has turned his heart to Mammon, the God of Money?”

Then, the Lord angrily called forth from a burning bush, “Mbaka! Mbaka! Mbaka!” Quivering, he answereth, “Speak, my Lord, for thy servant listens.” And the Lord said, “Countless times thou hath wined and dined, and lurked with the sons and daughters of iniquity; the rulers and oppressors of my people. Countless times I have forgiven thee. Thou hath used my name to defraud, deceive and mislead. As punishment, I will change your name from Mbakaogu to Mbakaego, so that your brethren can learn from your sin. However, I will give thee one more chance to salvation because my name is Love. If you do not depart from your greedy ways, you shall perish.”

But the love of Mammon had overtaken Mbakaego and he refused to heed the admonition of the Lord. And he aligned with Mallam Daura against Nathan for the election of 2015AD because the king did not look his way. And Mbakaego’s popularity soared when Mallam Daura was anointed as king over the land. So, Mbakaego sat on the altar all season, expecting King Daura to come in the night and flood his gates with gold and silver. But King Daura was thoroughly sick, and had lost memory of all favours, promises and debts that paved his way to kingship. Because he lacked basic education, King Daura could not hold meaningful communication with the masses, and so, he withdrew further into his shell with the masses gnashing their teeth and regretting the affliction he had turned into. This would not have been so if the people had looked and voted for a young blood in the 2015AD election just like the Lord chose David, the youngest of the sons of Jesse for Israel.

As another general election neareth in 2019AD, Mbakaego decided to maximise profit by casting his net into the rivers of the Awful Peoples Congress and that of the Poverty Developing Party, hoping to catch innumerable fishes. Alas, Pita the son of OB would not budge despite spiritual threats and Ariara-market arm-twisting tactics employed by the ‘Profit’ to openly extort him. Calling OB stingy, Mbakaego vowed that the opposition party would lose in the upcoming election; just as he openly lamented to Gandollar of Cano that he (Mbakaego) had been used and dumped, pleading shamelessly for monetary reward.

Therefore, the bewildered people of the Lord asked, “So, all the prophecies the Man of Dog had been prophesying were not from God? They were business prophecies done for financial rewards.”

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