Completely. Fucking. Ironic

Month: May 2016

So the Australian election is coming up, did you know we don’t have a president we have a prime minister? Oh and only 3 parties any votes go to (even though we have like 300 little parties, maybe a slight exaggeration) and that we all have to vote or else we face the grave penalty of, wait for it, $25 fine, for not voting.

So I thought I’d share with you our politics, because of how interesting it is… (Well it used to be when Tony Abbott was eating raw onions, telling the Irish they were all drunks and threatening to shirtfront Vladimir Putin).

I thought this was hilarious, it’s a bit of an inside joke. Tony Abbott got so hated by the public that the media tended to film him doing nice things, and in doing so seemed to think it would be a good idea to film him eating stuff in the stories. Fuck knows why, do people like people better when they’re eating?

So hopefully I don’t piss off any political Aussies on here, and keep in mind this is an explanation of politics from an idiot, who doesn’t really understand how the governments work properly yet (I’m still a 24 year old child, money, news and politics are boring).

As I mentioned before, there are 3 main parties that get voted for, I’d argue there was only 2 but the 3 we have are Liberal, Labour and the Greens. It used to be pretty straight forward, left wing, right wing and the dirty hippies. You only time people vote for the greens is because; they’re a stoner, they’re a hippie, they don’t know anything about politics, they know a lot about politics and want to help the environment, or… Because there is literally no better option by election time. The Greens never make it in though, they’re like the appeasal party for the alternatives.

So I guess I’ll just mention the main 2;

Labour – Bill Shorten

You best believe I wasn’t going to put a serious picture up of this beautifully expressionate man. The Labour Party was originally meant to be for the family’s, unemployed or minimum wage workers. It’s about trying to look after the struggling people. All good things yeah? But the thing is the economy is a fluctuating thing, and Labour Party is terrible at managing finances, because they like giving money to the poor like the new age Robin Hood. But again, a capitalist system can’t function properly like that, hence why Labour doesn’t really get into power too often, because when they have they really fuck up royally when it comes to money. Also, they’re quite happy to shaft their own members in the back if they aren’t popular, look at both Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard (a long complicated story that I don’t really know that well).

Liberal – Malcom Turnbull

He’s a pretty rich, smug mother fucker. But at least he’s not Tony Abbott, and it was at least funny when they shafted Abbott to put Malcom there because of Abbott being so hated by everyone. They spent years critisizing labour for doing that, in fact it was that tactic that made liberal win, even with such a fuckhead as the leader. And now they had to do the same thing, haha. Liberal is the party for the workers. No one is equal, if you work harder, if you are a doctor or something, then you deserve more then a common factory worker. That’s liberals motto.

So I voted last election, and this’ll be my second year. I also mentioned there were like a fuck tonne of little parties. Well, you have the option of voting singular people from those parties onto the bench, that’s probably the closest way you can get to actually voting for who you want to vote for.

Thats why we have an above the line and below the line system. Above the line is like 10 choices you number the way you want to, below the line is every party choice with a box for your number, then you have to painstakingly remember which order to put the numbers. Because if you vote above the line, if you are not voting labour or liberal then your vote is pointless because the smaller parties all have preferences, so if you don’t know what they are you may vote Sex Party for example (real party, no joke), you may end up voting for liberal even if you didn’t want to because you didn’t check their preferences. If you want the little people at least be able to vote on ideas (which is about as much say as you yourself can get through voting) then you have to take those couple of hours research on the parties and vote below the line. If you’re in Australia and want to vote below the line this election, I will provide a link to a service that puts the party in your order of preference, then prints out the exact ballot paper with the numbers filled in so all you have to do is print it out and copy it onto the real ballot paper.

Now you can officially say, I voted in the best way I could. You’re welcome.

So yeah, that’s what I’ll have to do soon, yay! Think my vote will be the same as last year, Sex Party, Pirate Party, then the rest of them lol the website will figure it out.

One thing I am grateful for though is that our country is not effected in the slightest by what’s going on in America. Sometimes there’s perks to being part of the Commonwealth, this is one of them.

For now I’ll leave you with some Abbott stupid, it may not be Trump level, but at least it’s somewhat funnier and less scary that this man is leading the country and more like, fuck I wish he didn’t have to keep stirring up the Aborigines.

Disclaimer: This is not aimed at any of the activist or pro-marijuana pages I am subscribed to. I have a lot of respect for all of them, this is aimed at the head of the movement as well as stoners in Australia in particular.

I know this is another post right after the other and I feel bad about that but not quite sure why I do. Either way I just had a thought (I bet it hurt, haha) and I couldn’t find a piece of paper or pen and I was going to post this tomorrow but fuck it.

I don’t think our new wave of weed education is good enough.

I know all of the health benefits and scientific jargon and crap (I’m not a scientist though, not even close), I’ve read my fair share of articles, I’ve watched my fair share of documentaries.

But the way I did it, the way most Australians do it, from what I’ve observed and experienced, the health benefits of smoking weed DO NOT out way the health problems of it. What I truly believe is, no matter how great something can be, addiction will always make it bad. And in ways, I feel that this new wave of ‘marijuana education’, is a new form of justifying addiction. Before you start, I support the marijuana legalisation movement, I believe it should be decriminalised and used to its fullest extent, not just for the people but for science.

BUT.

There are ways to get high that are NOT safe and NOT healthy. Especially when you’re in a country where it’s illegal. And I don’t believe these issues are properly addressed in these new wave of weed documentaries. I’ve witnessed the entire downfall of a persons life through their weed addiction, more then 1, me included. Because if you smoked like me, bongs, not glass bongs, springers, which is a rubbery, plastic tube which holds the stem and come piece which sits over a glass jar. Because weed is expensive and hard to get, we have no idea what we are getting, what has been done to it, or even how stoned it’ll get us. So we mix it with tobacco. Does that sound fucking grotty or what? Inhaling straight weed through a FULL glass bong may be ok, but smoking weed with half the quantity of tobacco through a dirty plastic tube bong of strain of who the fuck knows weed, is really one of the most unhealthiest things you could do to yourself. And it’s not the weed you’re addicted to, it’s the bong, because a springer bong will smack you in the lungs like you just inhaled a brick. And the more you do it, the less stoned you get off joints because there’s no hit in a joint. So you just sit there and bong on and on because the closest thing you’re getting to high is the oxygen you’re cutting off from your brain by those bong hits.

Think about it, it’s the weed equivalent of smacking up heroin.

I was so sick all the time. Waking up everyday vomiting up stomach bile (because I didn’t eat, weed makes me not hungry) and thick black shit that got hacked up out of my lungs. Anxiety so rampart that the only time you’re ok is if you’ve had at least 3 1 gram mixes. Needing a bong all the fucking time, kidding yourself into thinking, well at least you don’t smoke cigarettes anymore, when you know that’s bullshit because you’re smoking the equivalent cigarettes but in cones.

I stole from other people to get more weed even though we weren’t even paying rent. I nearly got arrested on several occasions due to possession. I saw a woman walking around talking to people, thinking she was a psychic and slowly sinking into psychosis, right before my eyes. Because she had been smoking the way I had for over 35 years.

Its pretty fucking horrific, people need to understand the difference between addiction and the substance itself, and in all reality pro weed documentaries just don’t properly acknowledge why it is still a drug and can still be abused, and therefore no parties understand the other side of the story.

Because all I hear from stoners now is this sense of self-righteousness.

Science says weed cures cancer, and even though I dropped out of school at 16, had no interest in chemistry until it was put in the context of the drugs I do, I’m going to argue that weed is ok till I’m black and blue, because my smoking doesn’t impact anyone else anymore, because science.

Im sorry my friend, but you just sound like a rambling junkie trying to justify their addiction.

That was exactly what I used to sound like, I used those documentaries as a justification to all the shitty things I was doing due to my addiction. I regurgitated facts without any real knowledge behind them because I don’t understand how weed works. And then I wisened up, realised I couldn’t argue this point without knowledge, and I started observing the way I felt when I was on it. From what I saw on documentaries, they always stated that weed is usually used to combat anxiety, yet I was far more anxious then I’d ever been in my entire life, and I was using weed as a way to be not anxious. And that’s when I realised that those documentaries didn’t help me at all, in fact they made my addiction worse, because of MY OWN sheer ignorance.

I support the marijuana movement, but when you have junkies like me that really make their presence known in public, and make people more wary of the movement, then as part of the movement, you need to step back and see what information you’re putting out there, and why the movement isn’t all fucking chocolates and roses. Because it isn’t, it may cure cancer, but the majority of people that smoke don’t have cancer, so face up to the fact that it is indeed a drug with side-effects that can potentially damage your health and ruin lives.

I think it is up to the movement to provide better education, stop giving addicts all these wonderful reasons to stay addicted and be brave enough to explain the whole truth, not the truth that appeals to one side of the argument. This movement is about the care of people, so give enough of a fuck to educate the ignorant people on the dangers of what weed does to the mentally unstable, and that addiction is just as bad from any drug, weed included.

If you truly support the movement because you care about people, then it’s your responsibility to educate people properly about weed, instead of cherry picking the good bits out just to win an argument.

So, mister has a 3D printer. It’s pretty sweet. About a year ago when we were living with mum and dad for a couple of months, mister decided to crank out the printer because he wanted to use his engineering program needed to form something to print. And so he spent hours designing a thing, gave up, and said, I’m just gonna go on the website and find some one else’s design.

Calm down, we didn’t steal anyone’s designs. The brand of the 3D printer has its own website and community where people can post what they’ve made and then the designs so other people with the same brand of 3D printer.

So mister thought, Bulbasaur Planter Box, why Kim you don’t care about plants or flowers, but I do care about Pokemon. And it makes total sense because it’s a grass Pokemon and it has a bulb growing on its back (hence why it’s called bulbasaur, it’s basically a baby bulb dinosaur Pokemon).

(This is Bulbasaur the Pokemon, isn’t he cute)

So about 4-5 hours later, Bulbasaur finished printing. He came out like this next picture essentially, but these photos were taken after I prepped him by sanding off all his rough plastic edges and pulling the plastic bottom off it.

Still cute, but still looked bland, like every one else who decided to just print a Bulbasaur (because a strange amount of people like printing Pokemon themed pots for plants). The plastic is super thick and was liney because the plastic prints in layers, and it was so slippery so I wasn’t going to be able to get acrylic paint on him while he was still just plastic. So we spray painted him gun metal grey as an undercoat and I was meant to go back and paint him the week after that, but time moves forward and it’s about a year or more later and I only just finished getting the actual paint on him 2 nights ago.

It took two hours, 1 hour and 15 minutes of that was letting it sit in front of the heater for 20 minutes at a time waiting for paint to dry.

I know understand the saying ‘about as boring as watching paint dry’. Fucking tell me about me it man, it’s literally one of the most fucking boring things in the world watching paint dry, which was what I was doing because I needed to get to sleep and I started painting it late at night on impulsive. I know it’s 1 in the morning but fuck it, I feel like I’m in the right state of mind to paint on a platform I’ve never really tried before. She’ll be right.

I was honestly surprised at how well it turned out, I thought it’d end up getting sprayed over again because it looked like shit. What I painted was essentially a really big, easy miniature, that’s still a completely different thing to just painting on a canvas. It’s 3D, and I didn’t really have anything to directly copy, I had to actually, gasp, imagine what Bulbasaur would look like in 3D with no point of reference.

Kim’s art skill raised +1 level

I don’t like plants, but I would’ve made an effort to find the right plant to go in him, but now he’s mums as she saw him and claimed him, even though it’s a Pokemon, she doesn’t care, it’s a super cute dinosaur plant pot in her eyes. If it wasn’t mum though Jes would’ve gotten it, as he expressed interest but mum deserves it more (she’s got me out of homelessness, and I haven’t needed to bribe Jes in a long time about money he lent me). But I had to leave dad with strict instructions to seal him because she didn’t let me put the sealant on!

As you can see though it will totally function as a plant pot (I just don’t know how well yet) because of the drainage holes on his feets. And this is the gummy Bulbasaur too because I accidentally got a bit too enthusiastic with the sandpaper and sanded off his two little front teeth.

Anyway, I’m going to go play Pokemon TCG online (which is the Pokemon card game) because there’s no new Pokemon video games to play.

What do you reckon? Could I sell these at markets with plants in them?

Everyday I worry all day. About what’s waiting in the bushes of love. Something’s waiting in the bushes for us. Something’s waiting in the bushes of love.

Yeah, you got a verse of a song I posted on yesterday’s YouTube post that only got one like, so yeah, this whole blog title is referencing the song. But don’t worry I ain’t even mad that I’m posting it again. Because at the moment I feel sort of similar.

At its core this song was meant to just be ripping on Obi Wan and Luke from the first movie. But I think as they were writing the lyrics they realised that it had a message behind it instead of just being a bad lip reading.

The message of this song is, life is short, we could all be undone in seconds, death is waiting for us. Hence, we all got a chicken-duck-woman thing waiting for us.

And it’s felt like that all fucking week you know. My hopes for a house went from hopeful, to excited, to disappointed, to despair, to rage, back again to hope. And finally…. FUCKING RELIEF BECAUSE WE GOT THE HOUSE WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

This is my new place. As you can see it’s an actual mother bitchin house and not a group of flats. I’ve never really had fences or gates either, and now I have a gate within a fence, inception fence.

You have no idea how excited I am to live in a house which doesn’t have my parents or other family members inhabiting it. The only places I’ve been able to afford have been studio apartments and this flat, which is a small 2 bedroom but it’s squishy and expensive and I have to share my wall with an old deaf woman who likes to knock on our door, loudly proclaim she brought our bins in and then will ask mister to help her with something. It’s really easy to ask your neighbours for shit when there’s nothing that seperates you aside from thin walls and small carports. And I got 2 fences now mofo’s, you need to penetrate 2 defense walls to come ask us for a favour now. Winning.

I also made a thing last night as it was the last time I could really sit and paint, and we kind of have to start packing all that shit away now. So I’ll save that for tomorrow.

Anyways, I thought I was going to go somewhere further with this post, but I lost my train of thought.

But we all got a chicken-duck-woman-thing waiting for us, we aren’t out of the woods yet. They still have time to screw us on bond, and then there goes our savings.

So we only just discovered this one 2 days ago, and since then we’ve had songs on loop and everything.

I’ve seen people try and attempt what these guys do, but it’s not nearly as good as this channel.

Bad Lip Reading

Let me just say, YouTubes system worked 2 days ago because they for once recommended a channel that wasn’t just complete chunder.

This channel has been the favourite thing for me, as I said before, we were listening to these songs all day yesterday. In all honesty I wasn’t sure whether to put them in this sub-category or whether they belong in the muscians one, but I think I made the correct decision.

The premise of this channel is exactly what it sounds like. They mainly just talk over movie scenes with new lines that fits perfectly into what the original character is saying. And it’s cool that they branched off from that to do music too.

Which is cool, it’s not even quite a full parody of anything, it’s them making a beat of a new song and making it look like the character is actually singing the song. It’s hard to explain so I’ll just show you with examples;

“Jeff Who Lives At Home”

This is a sketch I was talking about, where they badly lip read what the actors are saying in the film and turn it into something silly. I really wish I had’ve found this page sooner.

Carl Poppa

Ok, this ones purely my fault that we remember all the tune and lyrics and it’s only been 2 days. I don’t know why it’s so catchy either, the way these songs are written, the lyrics aren’t meant to make sense. And I don’t really like the Walking Dead either, so I don’t know why I love this song so much. But when I was really bad yesterday, mister coaxed me out of the house and just put Carl Poppa on repeat in the car for me. The music I listen to nowadays is strange, and I’m ok with that.

Bushes of Love

Me and Mister are both obsessed with this song, and he’s a Star Trek fan and I’m a whovian so we have no time in our fandoms for Star Wars. Yet this song is Star Wars themed, and it’s just honestly one of the best sounding songs I’ve heard in a while, regardless what the song is about.

All I can say about these last 3 days is, holy fuck, what a nightmare. It’s why I haven’t been on, hard to type when you’re completely exhausted due to being kept awake by crippling anxiety.

So, as anyone who reads my blog regularly knows, we inspected a house and fell in love with it. On Monday we waited to hear back, and we did, but it was the real estate going you can’t pay 2 rents at once, and I was like what the fuck?

Because we are breaking a lease you see, we are only entitled to break it due to unforeseen hardship, which was me losing my job. But the contract we signed with our current real estate states we have to be out by the 4th, and if they don’t get anyone in we have to pay half a months rent in advertising costs. Which is reasonable and I was fine with that. What they failed to explain to me properly (because they aren’t great at English) was that if they didn’t get anyone in, we would have to continue paying rent there until they got someone in.

I didn’t understand this properly when I raged out at our agent and told him we would take him to court. We thought all hope was gone for the house. I haven’t felt rage like I did in a while. Like to the point where I was planning on vandalising the lease sign out the front and also admitting myself into a psych ward just so I can have ammunition to take them down. I wanted to hire a hacker to take down there website, all I could think about was destroying their reputation online and taking down their business.

I have a short temper, I see red, most of the time I’m incredibly irrational and I can get fucking angry. But I’m not vindictive, nor am I vengeful because I have a strong sense of morality, and I refuse to let anyone have that much power over me. So to push me to the point where I throw away everything I stand for to literally plot the entire downward spiral of your life, consequences be damned, then you fucked up.

As my other brother J used to tell me; if you’re going to hit me, you better make sure you knock me the fuck down. Because if I get back up, then you’re fucked.

And I don’t like feeling that way, I don’t, so I did the only thing I could do in this situation. I rang mum and asked for help… And she fixed it. The lease goes under her name for the first 6 months just to make sure the rent shit is properly dealt with, and if we prove we can keep up with everything then the lease goes under our name. The real estates cool with this, the landlord is a married couple so one was ok they just needed to talk to their wife. So I’m pretty sure we got it. I think we’re going to be ok.

In all honesty I’m so fucking exhausted, so if this post doesn’t really feel positive or negative it’s because that’s how I’m feeling right now. My brain said no, enough, off time now.

But I’m ok. And again, more music that helps me put things into perspective.

So this is going to be incredibly hard for me to write because my brain is thinking about everything at once. Today is hopefully the day we find out whether we got the house or not. So by the end of the day I’m going to be one of 3 things; really happy, really depressed, or really anxious if they decide to leave the decision for tomorrow or the next day.

I woke up at 6 it’s now only 7.10, lets see if I can crap on enough for a few hours.

So, second thing in a sub category whooo! I’m going to just keep posting in order unless anyone wants to suggest a category they’d like to see more of or whatever. Because if you don’t suggest something I’m going to be o to the c to the d about it, and it’ll just go in this loop forever (or until I run out of you tubers which I don’t think will happen for a while).

Egoraptor

This is Arin Hansen aka Egoraptor. This guy has been brought up briefly in at least 3 of my posts. This man is a genius. He was one of the first animators on Newgrounds, and he was the first to start a lets play channel that followed a completely different formula to every other lets play channels called The Game Grumps. What makes The Game Grumps different from any other lets play channel was the fact that comedy and entertainment were the priorities of the show, not the game. The fact that they use no face cam at all, so you can only hear their voices makes it funnier, and less pompous considering every other lets player has a face cam in the corner of the screen somewhere so the audience can see the facial reactions when they do something in the game they’re playing. The Game Grumps is basically a podcast with a video game playing as your visuals. Arin and Danny are comedians, Danny is a muscian from a band called Ninja Sex Party, he’s turning 39, he can’t play video games for shit, it’s fun to watch him try though. Game Grumps isn’t really about playing video games, it’s about comedy and having a laugh with your mates, the whole original reason of what video games were meant to be about.

(Hey I’m grump. I’m not so grump. Aaaand we’re the Game Grumps.)

But the thing is, Arin is good at video games too, most of the time better then some of the bigger lets players such as Markiplier and Jackscepticeye who follow the one man cam layout and still can’t concentrate enough to be really good at the games anyway. Arin was a good enough gamer to make it into the Nintendo Championship finals (yes, being good at video games is officially a sport now), he didn’t come first but he made final 10 cut, in the world, that’s fucking impressive. I’ve seen single lets players struggle to keep up with being comical and funny whilst still being good at the game they’re playing. I’m sure they’re great at those games usually, but it’s incredibly hard to have to think about things to say and be funny whilst concentrating on just not dying in the game. Arin has the ability to let the jokes and banter flow naturally with Danny (who just sits there and talks but will sometimes play a video game, which he’s usually pretty shit at) whilst being able to play some of the toughest games out on console at the moment, like Dark Souls and Bloodborne.

Arin is also a professional voice over actor, even making an appearance (as a robot) in the very last episode of season 2 of Rick & Morty. He understands he’s not really a muscian but clearly wants to do music. He has also performed Game Grumps with Danny as a live performance, as well as starring in 2 reality tv series with one being a dancing competition show. He’s made appearances (and sung/rapped) in a few channels videos such as Ninja Sex Party (obviously) and NateWantsToBattle. Considering his love of music and friendship with Danny it wasn’t a huge surprise when they started a band together called Star Bomb, which are all original Nintendo themed songs with animations from everywhere.

(This is on the set of a Ninja Sex Party song. The other guy is Barry who hosts a section on the Game Grumps channel called Steam Train, he was also the editor for Game Grumps and got promoted to one of the main managers of the Game Grumps company.)

I think Arin Hansen made the Internet a slightly better place to be fair. If you ask any animator on YouTube who Egoraptor is, they’ll tell you he’s the top guy. He started a series called Game Grumps animated, where he cut and pasted sound clips of him and Danny talking on an episode, and then created a cartoon around the speech and encouraging others to do the same and to send it to him so he can promote them on Game Grumps. In doing this it opened up new ideas for animators, especially for the people who only knew how to draw and wouldn’t have the first clue about script or character vocalisation. Now everyone does this style of taking sound bites from lets players and turning them into full animations that always had different stories to them. People started to animate other lets players too like Pewdiepie, Markiplier, Jack etc and now it’s a new thing. But it was Arin Hansen who thought of that idea, and still continues to encourage and promote smaller animators.

These guys are famous. Not Pewdiepie level but different level. In the past week they have guest celebrities on their show such as Rob Schneider, Steve-o from Jackass, an importantish character from Game of Thrones and the lead singer of a band is never heard of that makes crappy emo music. But that was in the space of a week, celebrities think these guys are the best. They get referenced and quoted all the time by bigger celebrities, especially Jackscepticeye which is funny considering he has like 5 million more subscribers. They have big you tubers wearing their merchandise all the time. They are never preachy, they never get into the drama, it’s safe to assume that you’ll always get your 3 15 minute episodes a day of the series of whatever video games they’re playing at the time.

So why just put Egoraptor when I’ve mainly just talked about Game Grumps? Because even though it’s funny people have a hard time looking past the fact that they’re playing a video game. I understand but it also pisses me off that people always crap on it. These guys make a living off playing video games, that’s pretty fucking genius in my eyes.

I’m going to put 3 examples, but I’m also throwing Starbomb in there as one of the examples because it’s still so small that it doesn’t even have its own channel yet.

Lightsaber Fightsaber

This is a stupid, little sketch that originally came from Newgrounds back when Arin was a lot younger and primarily working on animations (this was pre Game Grumps). This pretty well shows off what silliness Arin is in a nutshell, it’s also cool to see a young OneyNg make an appearance: The Best of YouTube: Animators – Oneyng

Luigi’s Ballad -Starbomb

(For the record I’m doing this on an iPhone which is like trying to write a blog on a satanic device that purely wants to make me suffer. So don’t even ask me why some paragraphs are in quotation form, I didn’t want it to be like that but I’m not prepared to lose the whole post over it.) So I told you I’d post a Starbomb song. I picked this one as everyone knows who Mario and Luigi are, even if you aren’t from my generation, if not where have you been? Luigi has always taken second place to Mario as Mario is the star of all the game titles and Luigi is just his brother. And if you are a Nintendo fan who likes to theorise games, you came to the same conclusion that Mario is a horrible person who purely does things for his own gain and not because of any sense of moral duty. Whereas in Luigi’s Mansion, the aim of the game is to catch ghosts and save Mario. Luigi goes through so much to save Mario, having to fight spooky ghosts with a vacuum cleaner and nothing more, then when you do save Mario you don’t even get a thank you from him. Poor Luigi.

Pokeawesome – Just Another Battle

There’s no way I could leave this post without putting up my favourite animated series by Egoraptor. As the name suggests it’s about Pokemon, but more based on the kids tv series and not the game itself. I think it’s cute and funny and I wish he still had time to continue it.