Who is putting their baby in daycare?

I was very fortunate with my other children to get to stay home with them for a while. Even when I did go back to work I was working odd hours so my ex was with them when I wasn't.

Now with this baby I have to go back to work after my maternity leave. I am cutting my hours back to 24ish. But still the thought of leaving my brand new baby with a stranger in a daycare just makes me cry. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I really thought I would find a way to just stay home, but with 3 other kids to support I can't. I don't want all the financial burden to fall on my DH. And my ex doesn't pay enough child support to make much difference.

For those who have done this...how do you do it? I am so sad thinking about someone else holding my baby all day. And what about breastfeeding and pumping?

Comments (37)

I am probably in the minority here, but...I am sending her to daycare out of choice. I'm gonna get a ton of flak for that, but even though we are financially secure enough at the moment, I'm fully aware that in this economy, that can go with a blink of the eye, and I want to be continuously stable so that my baby can have the best in life. And we live in an expensive city, so...

Anyway, it makes me totally sad, but I keep telling myself that I am providing for her and also showing her the role model of a strong, educated woman and just hope that sooner or later I'll feel secure enough to step back and stay home with her. It helps that I found a facility that is AMAZING and I am confidant she will be loved as much as I can ever hope her daycare provider would love her.

There is a Working Moms group here on BBC that has great advice about returning to work with a LO in daycare.

But I agree with pp that there are great daycares and although I was able to have my babies watched in my home until they were clsoe to 1 year, they would of done just as well in a daycare. The school my girls go to are among kdis who have been going since they were 6-10 weeks old, and they do SO WELL, they don't have to go through seperation anxiety like ab older child does when it is time for them to go to pre-k.

I'm a FTM so all I can do is sympathize and tell you what others have told me :)

Staying at home is absolutely not an option for me. My benefits and pay outweigh DH's and until we have 2-3 kids in daycare, it's not financially feasible. So since before I got pregnant I knew that LO would be going to daycare... that's just the way it had to be. That probably helped me come to terms with it a little more- I don't know the joys of being able to avoid daycare (and the cost... ugh).

My friends who have their kids in daycare said it was reaaaaallly hard to leave them in the beginning. They took them a little at a time at first and I plan on doing this as well. I'm taking 8 weeks so at 7 I'm going to drop him there for an hour or two then up to half a day that first week. Take some time for myself to get used to the idea of being away from him and force myself to pump more regularly. I really don't think I could wake up one day and put him in daycare and drive to work and spend 10-12 hours away from him (1 hour commute each day, minimum of an 8 hour day).

I was told to pump at work just as much as I would nurse if I was with him. I'll try pumping after a few weeks to start building up a stash and once I'm back to work I'll send what I pumped at work to daycare with him.

Friends told me to keep an eye on him and how he reacts when we go to daycare and when I pick him up. People with good daycare experiences mention that their baby lights up when they see they're going to daycare. I want both of us to be happy with the choice.

Pick a daycare you trust. We did a lot of research and met with both the directors and infant daycare employees. I feel good about where we're going to send him so that will make it a little easier.

It's hard at first, I cried everyday for the first week I was back (10w after DD was born). But it gets easier. You just have to find a place you're comfortable with. Lots of communication with the caregivers is also crucial, in those first few weeks I'd call during work just to see how she was doing.

As far as the bf, you'll need a bit of a supply stored before you go back. I worked full time, but I would bf in the morning and pump 3-4 times at work at the same time DD would normally eat, then bf when I got home. Then take what I pumped and send in bottles the next day. With working part time you may only need to pump once a day.

You'll be fine and so will you're little one. Just enjoy the weekends:)

I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with it. My DS didn't go to daycare until he was 8 months old and I ended up working there with him. This time around I have to go back to work right away (after 12 weeks). Luckily I already have a good daycare lined up b/c DS has gone there a few summers. I have also put in a transfer request to work in the office 7 minutes down the road so I might be able to go see her during lunch.

Oh that's the other thing as PP said--I'm doing a transition month with work. So I'll take 8 weeks and then they're letting me work from home 3 days a week, 2 days in the office so I get used to it...I'll get to take my additional month of leave later, in January, so that'll be nice. All just to help me acclamate.

"I am probably in the minority here, but...I am sending her to daycare out of choice. I'm gonna get a ton of flak for that, but even though we are financially secure enough at the moment, I'm fully aware that in this economy, that can go with a blink of the eye, and I want to be continuously stable so that my baby can have the best in life."

I'm in @Linz boat too. Daycare is a choice my DH and I have made together and although we'll be sad it's what we're going to do. We both worked hard in college and have well paying jobs and we're not willing to give that up in these tough economic times. We don't feel guilty about that. I'm going to take 12 weeks of maternity leave because I don't want him going to daycare any earlier. I have to have faith that he will be okay in a daycare we maticulously picked. Luckily my job provides a room for me to pump so i'll be pumping at work. I took my BF class last month and she made me have more confidence in pumping when I go back to work. *fingers crossed*

I'm more concerned that I won't find ANY child care. I work at Lackland and there are no vacancies for infants in the near future, not on base, not off base. I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't find child care.

I don't want to leave my brand new baby with a stranger, but until we make enough money for me to leave work, it isn't a choice.

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I can HEAR the man-eating slut in her voice when she asks my hubby how she can help him.(Siri) GERDEH

I have to return to work after 8 weeks off. I was fortunate enough to know a licenced home daycare person. She is holding her one and only infant spot for us to use come Aug.

I have known her for years and my son has gone there years ago. I also have a friend who took her 2 kids there for years.. so I am confident that she is trustworthy and responsible... but still going to be VERY hard to leave her.