Archive for August, 2008

Jeff Patton, one of our teaching pastors where I worship at Fellowship Bible Church, helped me uncover something on Sunday that I never discovered before.

I’ve read Ephesians 5:3,4 many times: “sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”

Jeff said it doesn’t work to try and just eliminate bad behavior. We must replace it with thanksgiving. Say what? How does that work? He explained that cultivating a thankful spirit breeds contentment. If we are content, we won’t covet, which drives the desire for things we don’t have, including anything we think will make us feel good, which of course, is always short lived, and often destructive.

Great job, Bro!

I need to have a thankful spell more often. I tried it today. It’s amazing how much better I feel, even in the midst of hardships and frustration, after counting my many blessings. Jerry, in my small group, gave me a tip awhile back, that thanking God throughout the day would help me get closer to him. Guess what? He was right!

When my dad went to be with the Lord on January 4, 2007, he also left me a gift. As heartbreaking as it was to see him go, it also served as the catalyst for a new way of thinking and set me on a quest that I am still fiercely pursuing 20 months later.

It is one thing to know something is true, and quite another to live out that truth first hand, isn’t it? We can read and hear what people go through, but until we experience it first hand, we really don’t know what it’s like.

I knew my dad wouldn’t live forever. But until he went to heaven, I really didn’t comprehend the concept of mortality. It means your time in this world is up. No time left to do what you’ve always wanted to do. If you haven’t made a difference in the world, or helped to make it a better place, it’s too late.

Dad understood this more and more as he got older, becoming increasingly more loving and outgoing to everyone he met. Strangers became his friends and conversations turned spiritual all within a few minutes. He made sure I knew how much he loved me and how proud he was of me. Those words I will cherish forever.

This picture was taken on my wedding day 29 years ago. Dad was my best man and it blows my mind that in this photo he is four years younger than I’m am now!

My dad was not the only one we lost recently. Sharon’s grandmother was only nine months away from her 100 birthday when she went home to be with Jesus. Dad followed her two weeks later. Almost exactly one year later, our 25 year old niece, Crystal, said goodbye to us way too early.

After all this, I began to ask myself, “What about me, and the time I have left? What have I accomplished, and has it been enough? Can I ever do enough? Or am I missing the point? Does God really need me to do things for him?”

Looking back on my christian walk since my baptism as a teenager, I feel like I’ve been wandering 40 years in the desert, missing out on something that God wanted to give me. Trying harder didn’t work. Going to church and serving wasn’t enough. Reading my Bible wasn’t enough. Even in my prayers God seemed distant. Where was the joy? Where was the peace? I wasn’t unhappy. I was blessed with a wonderful wife, two great kids, and a good job. Still, there must be something more…

You can listen to a thousand sermons, but sooner or later you have to ask yourself, “Lord, what is this all about? What do you want from me?” We Christians say you can have a personal relationship with God, but we don’t explain how that’s done or what it looks like. “Just read your Bible and pray.” Well, I don’t know about you, but that’s kind of vague to me.

This may seem radical or mystical, but I want to hear from God himself, somehow. I want to know if he can be known personally. I am no longer satisfied to just know about him.

I’ve never been an avid reader. I usually stick to magazines or short articles in the paper or the web. But I’ve read 10 books in the last 20 months along with countless articles on line. They all have one thing in common. They are helping to feed my deepest desire, my greatest appetite: To learn how to get closer to God. And the more I taste of him, the more I want.

Since I now realize that my days are numbered, I want to make those days count. If there is something that my Lord wants me to do, then I don’t want to miss it. I can only trust that valuable information if I get it from God himself, using whatever method he chooses to get through to me.

Sometimes he uses people, which brings me to the reason I started this blog. I want to know what you think. Am I crazy, or just a dreamer? Has he shown himself to you? In what way? Would you like to join me in this quest to know God? We will have to be careful. Some have claimed to have heard some really weird things from God, which didn’t line up with his words recorded in scripture.

I don’t believe Almighty God is shy. He just wants us to pursue him.

“If you seek Him, He will let you find Him.” 2 Chronicles 15:2
“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” James 4:8

So, let’s gather up our courage and make this request from our Lord and Savior: