Domestic violence Women beating up husbands, boyfriends?

BART PRICEStaff Writer

Published Sunday, September 10, 2000

Robert Shepard is angry that his estranged wife was offered a six-year prison sentence plus 10 years of probation for allegedly burning down his mobile home and threatening his tenant at gunpoint for two hours.

He and his former tenant, David Raines, want to see her go to prison for no less than 50 years.

"I lost everything I owned,'' Shepard said. "I want to see her get the full, maximum penalty.''

During arraignments Thursday, Wendy Shepard, 39, pleaded not guilty to first-degree arson, false imprisonment and aggravated battery. If she doesn't accept the plea offer, she could face up to 50 years in prison.

Although Robert's case is an extreme example of romance turning to violence, he is one of a growing handful of men who have filed injunctions against their wives or girlfriends.

Last month, a 29-year-old man reported to the Sheriff's Office that his girlfriend violated an injunction by going onto his property and taking clothes, a passport, a bird, a marine phone and knives from his boat.

Before the injunction violation, the man was arrested on domestic violence charges. To try to prevent future contact with his girlfriend, he filed a temporary injunction.

The Shepards, like the 29-year-old man and his girlfriend, have a history of domestic violence -- a history not uncommon among couples who file for injunctions.

Iris Hall, supervisor of the St. Johns County probate office, where people go to petition for injunctions, said about half the time, men who petition for a domestic abuse injunction will have a petition brought against them for the same allegations.

Ultimately, Circuit Court Judge Stephen Alexander decides whether to issue temporary and permanent injunctions. During the past year, Alexander said he has issued about a dozen domestic abuse injunctions against women.

According to the Mentor Research Institute in Oregon, out of 100 domestic violence cases in the United States, between five and 20 involve women abusing men. While advocates have spent years trying to encourage women to report domestic violence, it hasn't been quite so with men.

Mary Fagan, a detective in the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office's domestic violence unit, said men typically are embarrassed to report that their wives or girlfriends are abusing them.

"There are many men out there that would be so reluctant to file any charges,'' Fagan said. "We are starting to see some guys calling and reporting more abuse, whether it's just a push or a shove.''

Off the top of her head, Fagan remembers one domestic incident in which a man went to his estranged wife's home to drop off the children, and she got mad and began scratching him.

Hall and Alexander said the number of injunctions filed against women are increasing in the county. Within the past three weeks, about seven men have gone to the courthouse to petition for injunctions in domestic cases, Hall said.

One of the men was the husband of Maryanne Grabowski Guido, 53, who apparently died of carbon monoxide poisoning from car fumes on Aug. 31. After the husband petitioned for an injunction, Guido reportedly petitioned for one in turn. The next day, Guido was found dead on the garage floor of her home inside Ocean Palms subdivision.

Sheriff's Office investigators initially ruled that the woman likely died by accident when she entered the garage, where her car had been running and fumes had sucked up all the oxygen. On Friday, Sheriff's Office spokesman Kevin Kelshaw said the case is still open, and investigators have ruled out homicide, but not suicide.

Beth Hughes, executive director of the Betty Griffin House, a safe haven for domestic abuse victims, said the Betty Griffin House counsels about five men a year who are abused by women. That's in contrast to 500 women a year being counseled, she said.

Typically, one man a year will seek shelter in the domestic violence program, and will be housed at a local motel. Although the number of men abused is scant compared to women, Hughes said, that doesn't necessarily mean that men aren't being abused.

"It's hard to tell. Are the numbers just smaller, or do the men not come out and talk about it?'' she said. "It can be more embarrassing for a man, because his friends might be saying, "How can you let a woman beat you up?' ''

The domestic violence usually stems from women not wanting men to go out with their friends or spend time with their family, Hughes said. Not all the time, though, are men physically abused; sometimes, a threat can constitute grounds for an arrest or injunction.

Hall said obsession caused by a breakup in a relationship often leads people to file injunctions, but the obsessions have to lead either to physical abuse, verbal threats or stalking.

"A lot of times, the guys just want a woman to leave them alone,'' she said. "They have a hard time getting rid of them once they've broken up.''

But after an injunction has been issued, a phone call could constitute a violation. Fagan said injunctions are often violated when a friend or relative makes the call.

According to Assistant State Attorney James McCune, who prosecutes domestic violence cases in St. Johns County, about 80 percent of people violate injunctions by phone calls or leaving notes.

McCune, too, said he sees cases in which women are abusing men, but they are relatively few.

"It's very rare. The cases that I get are few and far between, to say the least -- one out of 20, five out of 100. It might be a little bit more, but it's not much more,'' he said. ""We try to treat them just as we treat the women.''

Abuse victims can call 824-1555 or the state abuse hotline at 1-800-500-1119 for counseling.