Sometimes I have a really hard time coming up with a subject line. Is it just me, or does anyone else ever sit and wonder just what to put in that space? It isn’t as if I ever talk about just one subject- I am usually all over the place with my posts, so one subject line seems, at times, too little. It’s usually a little of the kids, some of the outside world, maybe a chocolate fetish… it’s a mixed bag. So, if my subject lines are a little weird sometimes, that’s why.

I have been avoiding the news for the last week or so. Even my two favorites, The View, and Today, have been carefully picked through. Why? Because sometimes, enough is enough and it’s time to let go and move on. There comes a point where things become more and more an invasion of others’ private moments and less the general public’s business or concern. Yes, I’m talking about the death of Heath Ledger. It’s a sad, tragic and shocking event, but enough is enough. As a parent, I feel for his child and for his own parents. As a person, I find it sad and upsetting when one loses their life so soon. But I do not feel that anyone’s passing needs to be speculated on in as many ways, for as many days, as this has been. It is none of our business what he did or didn’t have in his apartment, whether he was fully clothed, naked, or upside down on a trapeze. It simply doesn’t matter. A young man is dead, a child without a father. Why does his name need to be smeared, or semi smeared, so gleefully? That sort of thing just blows my mind. Let’s just leave it at this- he was a talented guy, a doting father, and a son and brother to people who loved him. His passing is tragic and my heart goes out to his loved ones at this time. I pray they can find the peace to grieve, and that Heath himself will rest peacefully.

Moving on. I got to go shopping yesterday. For the whole day. Without the children. My best and oldest girl friend and I headed off for some kid free shopping and it was a blissful day. No one was crying, fighting, clamoring or running around like a maniac. We got coffee, strolled around, had a nice lunch… it was so something I needed, and she did too. It wasn’t even the shopping, or spending money (all I got myself was a hoodie jacket) it was having some girl time without little ones. Even though at least 75% of the conversation was about the kids. That is a total Mom thing and can’t be escaped!

But, it was nice to sit back and have some time off from being Mom. We do need it once in awhile, and it sent me home relaxed, happy to see the kids and spend time with them. I was less impatient and harried, you know? Your mind gets so wrapped around laundry, homework, diapers, dinner, etc., that it’s harder and harder to actually enjoy them as much as you can when you have that break and come back to it. Cause sometimes you have to be more than Mom, more than the butt wiper. Sometimes it’s nice to just be YOU, with a good friend and some laughs. And that’s ok. It’s hard not to feel guilty for needing those breaks, but no one is SuperWoman. A recharge is totally acceptable, and if anyone says otherwise, tell them to kiss your happy, relaxed ass. What good is Mommy when she’s yanking her hair out from rushing around all the time?

My motto is simple- a happier Mom makes a happier family as a whole. And that goes for Dad, too. The happier one is in their own existence, the less resentment and all that other negative stuff there is floating around. Happiness bleeds over from you into other areas- same as anger, stress, etc. So why not accentuate the positives?

A Mommy Mission for you- call up a friend and get out of the house, sans kids. For an hour, or two. Go for coffee, go to lunch. Go for a stroll through a mall or something. Just to catch a breath. It can make a world of difference!

My house smells like Vicks VapoRub. Well, it smells like VapoRub and Baby Rub. I am armed with two kinds of Tylenol, two kinds of rub and the ever so popular saline spray and aspirator. My kids are soooo in love with me right now!! They’re yelling more than usual at my approach. 🙂

Add to it that it’s maybe 9 degrees in Ohio tonight, there’s no school tomorrow and the coffeemaker has decided to take it’s leave. Whaa…? Yes, I understand the “conspiracy theory” right this minute. Mom-coffee+kids with colds+extra day WITH kids with colds= more chaos than you could ever. possibly. imagine.

I’m double stressed because this is Taylor’s first cold, and she’s still so little. I’m on Baby #3 and have never had a young infant with a cold. But, I think I’m handling it fairly well. I know what she can and can’t have, and she is in a shockingly good mood for someone so stuffy. I just feel so bad for her- she’s sniffly and then here Mommy comes with that damn nose thingy again. I’d scream about it, too!

My plan to survive? Get the monsters in bed, make some hot tea and soak in a hot bath for a bit. Probably with my Nora Roberts. And quite possibly some tequila.

Miss Lyss will be eight in March. She’s looking forward to this birthday as much as she has all the others, because eight is so much closer to thirteen, which is so much closer to being a TEENAGER. Teenager is always said in all caps, with a reverence some use for prayer. And I have to stop and do a double check that she isn’t already a teenager, because she sure acts like one sometimes. Already she sighs, rolls her eyes and has that tone. You know, that “oh my God, you have no idea just how tough it is dealing with your dumb ass, Mom” tone.

I’ve enjoyed her being seven. Second grade has given her a little more individuality, and she’s found her niche in school I think. Miss Lyss is a Brain. But a Brain with style. She’s started developing her own taste in clothes (actual taste, not the former “if it’s shiny or neon, I’ll wear it” of years past), books, and music. She’s on the Hannah Montana bandwagon, as well as the High School Musical (both of them) kick. The latter comes from her early love of Grease, passed down by me. We share a love of music and musicals, me and my long legged girl. We share a lot, really, but her personality outshines mine in so many ways. She’s far from shy and introverted; she’ll befriend anyone and talk to everyone. She’s still sort of in the stage of wanting to be just like me, but that’s passing. Too fast, that’s passing.

Seven, for me, will be remembered as the year of the Talk. Or at least parts of it. She had a lot of questions after the baby came, naturally. Miss Lyss has a lot of questions about everything; the kid absorbs knowledge like nothing I’ve ever seen. She wants to know it all, in detail, right this second. So she wanted to know about the baby, and why her friend’s mommy’s baby did not come out of her belly like ours did. I attempted to explain it away with vaguely telling her I had to have a C-section, which is an operation, because some babies come that way. She nodded and I thought I was home free. A pause, then…

… “Where do the rest of them come out?”

As awful as it sounds, I was half tempted (in my unpreparedness and desperation) to tell her I simply didn’t know. No clue, sorry kid, see ya later. But I’ve always said that I would answer my kids’ questions openly and honestly. I didn’t have that openness with my own mom, and I remember some of the questions I had and didn’t always get the answers to.

So I took a deep breath and attempted to fumble my way through an explanation that would be non-graphic, not scary and yet informative. Which led to “ok, so how did she get in there?” Again, more fumbling.

Her reactions were priceless though. “Why would anyone want to do that anyway? Gross!” My exact thought when I first learned the mechanics of it all.

My reaction? The exact same as my own mother’s: “Remember that in ten years or so, kid.”

That is the perfect word to describe me. Or at least it’s the nicest! I am one of those people who always seems to have Big Ideas. Which is all well and good, except I am NOT one of those people with Big Ideas who follow through. I try, really, but my mind is always racing in a hundred different directions, and there’s always something to do, say, or try. This annoys my husband to no end. You know, one of those traits that, in the beginning, is considered quirky and/or endearing. The ones that quickly become “my God, can’t you just stop doing that?!”

Right now my focus is even more out of focus, thanks to our newbie and the fact that there is not enough caffeine on the planet to compete with her sleep schedule. Or lack of schedule, I should say. She’ll set a pattern for a couple of days and I’ll start to relax. Go ahead, laugh. This is my third baby; I of all people should know better. She likes to keep me on my toes. She’ll be wide awake, grinning at me as if to say “I slept through Matt and Meredith for three days, didn’t I Mom? Let you have a cup of coffee and wake up a little? Yeah, well that’s never going to happen again.” And she so means it.

I’m into the presidential race this year, more than I have ever been. The last two… well, let’s just say eight years ago I hoped for the best. Four years ago I crossed everything from my eyes to my toes and spent days after damning our country for damning itself. This year is really interesting to me, though, and I’m definitely not alone. I think everyone feels that air of change, that excitement of the chase, the race. There’s a thrill to it because the candidates are all so diverse, in both parties. It’s refreshing to see the changes, even before the new Chief steps into office.

My only complaint is the standard smear campaigns. I understand you want to win, I get that you want to expose all the reasons your opponents shouldn’t, but it doesn’t seem to be just the candidates this time. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but i personally feel that some are being portrayed a bit unfairly, if not semi viciously, by some of the press. And that, to me, is where personal opinion has to be tempered. Not everyone likes the same people, policies and so forth… which is why we have an election. We vote, we elect. Or at least that’s how it USUALLY works. **coughs**

Anyway, I’m going to attempt to grab that always needed cup of joe and catch a little of Matt and Meredith this morning. As the world keeps on changin’ and my little insomniac smiles through her bink. 🙂

I’ve been thinking for awhile now that the system in the house doesn’t work very well. It’s been up in the air since the baby arrived, which is fairly normal when introducing a new member into an already scatter-brained crew. But this… this is absolutely driving me up the effing wall to the point of yanking my hair our and banging my head against any hard surface. That, perhaps, would result in unconsciousness. Which would result in maybe a little accidental sleep. And maybe that would clear the fog in my brain. Something has to, for God’s sake.

I think we’re all running on “E” right now, and only superior will, stubbornness and adrenaline are keeping me on my feet. Or my ass. Take your pick, really. But, we need a new system. One fully equipped with time management strategies for the Extremely Disorganized Procrastinators that we are, especially the Sleep Deprived variety we have become.

Right now there is barely time to pee, let alone have a lot of quality family time. Any ideas????

This has become my most frequently uttered sentence “Can I just have five minutes of…” Here you can fill in the last part with “to myself”, “of peace and quiet”, or “without one of you screaming.” I knew this Mom deal was hard, but man it’s gotten harder. 3 is quite a big difference from 2, especially when the 2 were already school age and past the completely dependent stage of things. Our little newbie has been a challenge, like our oldest was. It must be a girl thing- that coming into the world already defiant, opinionated, and loud.

In part, I admit, is the already tense atmosphere. I’m not overly calm by nature; I’m the biggest worrier and Nervous Nelly there is. Add kids to that and you can imagine the added worries, from everything to sniffles to safety when they leave the house. Cause let’s face it- the world is pretty damn scary these days, and it’s gotten to be almost like playing roulette just sending them to school.

I should, before I go any further, explain some of the dynamics in the house. If not, most of what I say will sound even nuttier than it is… and by God, I can sound nutty. My six year old son has, until the arrival of the little one, pretty much run the schedule and the house due to his needs. He was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder at four, and is still not completely diagnosed. It’s been a constant trial and error with different therapies and meds, school schedules, home schedules, tests and the like. Life with him is very difficult, because you honestly never know what you are dealing with from moment to moment. To have a diagnosis, even partial, has helped immensely. But there’s still the unknown. (If the kid isn’t somewhere on the autism spectrum, I’ll eat my PC, seriously.)

Add to that an older daughter, as well as husband and now a new baby. All which need and deserve attention and affection. The baby demands the attention, naturally- she is 100% dependent on us for her every need. And who can resist smooching all over baby cheeks, feet or trying to squeeze those chubby little thighs? Especially for one of those first grins- oh man that kid can steal your every breath with that grin! My oldest vies for attention, and has (rightfully so) gotten pretty resentful. It’s hard being seven and expected to understand all of it. Hell, it’s hard being twenty nine and wrapping your head around it.

So, now it’s just that much harder to grab five minutes. For anything. To toss a load of laundry in. To grab a cup of coffee, and drink it while it’s hot (coffee is hot?!? REALLY? I don’t remember!) And God forbid I grab the phone and take off with it. Any mom can attest to that- the entire house can be quiet and settled. Then you grab the phone, a book, or something else to do and suddenly, you are the most popular person on the face of the Earth. To everyone. Including your husband. And any pet you may have. You are needed for something, or loved so much that you must cuddle, or talk, or help…. and then comes the “OH MY GOD CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES!?!?”

I am now going to take advantage of my own five minutes, and simultaneously start laundry, grab something to drink and hide in the bathroom to “pee” -aka reading for three minutes periods of time, and sneaking some of the nicotine I need to get through the day. (And yes, smoking’s bad,I get it. I don’t do it around the kids, so no preaching is needed. Thank you, please come again.)

I’m going to try to figure out how to put some pics up here soon, and try to make this a daily, or at least every other day, thing. I think it’ll keep me somewhat sane. LOL