The suggested donation for the sustainability of “Soul Church,” is $20 at paypal: vanessasoulxo@gmail.com or cashapp: $VanessaSoulXo

About Vanessa:

Vanessa LeMaistre’s path has been unconventional. Broken from years of childhood sexual assault, not having a father to protect her and an ultimate lack of self-worth, she woke up at the age of 25 as a lost soul, having dated a mix of men, including prominent celebrities who didn’t respect her worth. Deciding to wake up and step into her path, Vanessa began to practice yoga and spiritually enlighten herself through a series of texts, before suffering a tragic loss of her son, Kamden at 9 months. Throughout her journey, Vanessa, a shaman, provides spiritual insight from her own diverse experiences and channels her late son to do so. If you’re looking for an unconventional take on wisdom to transform your life, please attend her Soul Church or contact her via gmail: vanessasoulxo@gmail.com to receive her services.

My Non Verbatim Show Notes

TP: feeling blessed, compounding angel interest

your strategy, adapt church to online, inclusive non-hierarchal church space, colead, cofacilitate, forced to adapt to cyber space model, for a little while, got some ideas how to start building up fellowship, when things mellow out, have strong fellowship

VS:

happening a lot smoother than I thought, just graduated, logical thing get a job, use degree, not my path,

smoothly happening, took the call, go with alignment, what’s in alignment with my path, spread energy 9-5, spread soul thin, not my path, leap of faith, people can help build it up, I can’t do it by myself, if I should up if there’s one or two people, goal is to listen to the call, multiples of people can come, join in community, really about community, build bridges how to communicate,

unity in community, you see communities where there is no unity

friend, adopted, jewish, all about community, be honest with each other, solve a lot of problems, honest with ourselves, be there for each other, cultivate during a time like right now,

sense of urgency, set up communities

encourage, more individuals build community, stronger collective

switch things, hierarchal, old paradigm, going from capitalist mindset, to age of aquarius, excited for newer generation, more queer thinking,

swtiching out of putting everything in box

more multi-raced, how to do you put somebody in a box

community, accepting people, taking away biases, what can we learn from each other

allow to be vulnerable, egalitarian based

online, challenge, we’re not in a physical space, virtual container

curious how it’s gonna end up, could be really impactful

counsels, all my classes were counsels, professor wasn’t talking at us, we were running the show

never know what’s gonna pop off, speak honestly, speak from there heart, stand in power be fierce, use voice

giving back to black communities, telling him, bluntly its time to give your power away

makes you more powerful, when you’re able to empower others

blacks in our country,have not been given opportunity to really shine, haven’t been given platforms, opportunity to be heard, most don’t get a chance to talk in groups, marginalized

more privileged people hold the power

excited, we can come together on line, really be real, cut the bullshit,

get questions, oh this is a church, what’s the doctrine, what’s your faith creed

I’m listening to sources call, asking how do you want me to bring people to you, root of this, really the goal, bringing them to the light, to connect to source within themselves

takes away black and white, male female gay straight,

how can you dress sexy and be taken seriously as a woman,

how can you not be both

break things down, we are switching from an older paradigm, no longer putting things in boxes

churches, judicial, educational

personal healing if we’re not doing something different, not changing, things are gonna be the same

different approach to church, no body wants to be churched at

TP: a lot of positive triggering and stimulating triggering as I’m listening to what you’re saying, all due respect,

for me to own my privilege, and disclose my bias as underclass white male who is straight passing, able passing, most part euro american mut, I don’t have any facial tatoos, put on suit and tie, hair cut, I could make my resume to the nonprofit sector, also corporate, if I had any minority cards to play, it would be that I’m not heteronormative, survivor, come from lower class, ptsd, a lot of invisible wounding that can be debilitating, impact ability to be type-a ceo, conquer of the world, the potential privilege appears on the surface, a lot more going on there

get it if I’m in the black and white

I’m okay with starting there, that’s what I’m passing as, if you want to get to know me, be curious, don’t have white fragility problem, I can take criticism, and blacklash

we may not have discussed before, good time to talk about all these things

instead of becoming a yuppie, I dropped out of the system and going movements mostly of people of color, all fighting for the underclass

solidarity with people no matter what race

people of color I’ve been in revolutionary organizations and projects with, covert operations as whitey

ways to use that power, give it back, be strategic about it

a few things come to mind based on what you’re saying, empowerment, new paradigm

outline a few things

one topic Ron Finley, guerilla gardening movement, almost 10 years ago, gangster gardener movement, bring people into understand that south central los angeles, food desert could be food forest

took over parkway, made strip of grass and weeds between curb and sidewalk, made into lush beautiful edible garden, community, educational, bounty

I want to go into your thoughts on the health crises, food choice, under class, people of color, gardening opportunities, ecological,

conspiracy of big companies, junk food

if we have time walk through some of ways that people of color who’ve been colonized by christianity, raped by gospel of christianity, reclaim sacred space of devotional activities, worship, navigate fact, people who are gonna not want to let go of that, on people like you to bring in medciine, plant medicine, new revelations, new chapters /gospels to the bible

me, nerdy white man intellectual, try to get down with the people and plant some shit

for greening and next leveling of the movement, so much in that with permaculture, food justice, human rights, food justice, education, all those poor neighborhoods, filled with junk food, liquor stores, health food, don’t have it

set up unfitting way for blacks,

public schools, low funding, not taught how to do permaculture, ties in perfectly what you mentioned, people of color being raped by colonizers

psychologically, taking away opportunity for them to be educated,

paradoxical, most people of color ancestors operated on indigenous ways, permaculture to some degree, grow and plant own food

so profoundly influenced, tried to get hair cut like favorite basket ball player

couldn’t be more of a fan of the culture of what was spoon fed to be

by the corporate pimps,

hegemonized bling culture

nino brown, new jack city, whole thing of trying to be the white corporate business man ceo, take over, how cool that is, a lot of spike lee stuff, shed some light on what’s in the mind of a would be conscious white man, wants to care, want to give back, find good in bad

make sense of things

a lot of putting on table for you to put me in my place, take me down a notch, riff, rhyme, other well meaning white people, I was raising my fist, so down for the cause, show me where I can join forces and not be an annoyance

VS: feeling you,

the fact that world has been operating to cater to your breed as top of totem pole,

why are you all so judgemental, least open minded people, I’m gonna have the most problems with christians

TP: researching cults, blind spots, you don’t know what to watch out for

permaculture, balance with weeds, medicinal, edible, listen, pay attention, not poison them, ecologically literate, patterns lead to corruption with power, how do you prevent becoming a cult of personality

saying, those who don’t die a hero, live long enough to become a villain, really scary, studying that stuff, I want to have fans not followers, because of my art

charles manson, david koresh, documentary on cults, reason manson set cult devotees to kill famous people, basically jealousy over his failed music career

its so interesting, I’m only feeling the hilarity of this, pitfalls and traps of nacissism, permaculture, too much capital, pollution in nature, power money wealth influence, redistribute reinvesting, you think I’m so good at something tell me about what you’re so good at, you’re as important as I am, I’ll scrub toilets, rotate positions of power

what if everybody in a church ceremony was given equal time

indigenous way, every body including a grandmother read medicine plants in the landscape

work to be done around figuring out how to honor everybody’s contributions

dating game, racial politics of sexual, economics and politics around body types, ethnicity, film, based on true story, talk radio, based on guy, Eric Bogosian, jewish shock jock radio host, killed by right wing racist, can’t remember all the details scenes of him being in radio booth

line from movie, wants to expose people subconscious actual worship of exotic people, you know how much money white people spend on tanning booths, tan lotion, white people feel sexually inferior

I have been upstaged, from deep voice, size of the junk, to swagger, strut, soul,

Jerry McGuire, white man can’t love

do you see that that’s people loving each other

tight lipped having tiny lips,

white guy I can say this shit, I can make fun of my kind

I’ll say there’s an inferiority complex around having small lips, high pitch whiny voices, flat butts, flat chests, skin that gets burnt in the sun, you can see the veins through it, reason I have to be jealous of sexual prowess of people of color and african people

things going on genetically, so honorable, worshipable, reconcile, how do we not leave people out

I don’t want to over…

people in my life who’d say you’re an evil bastard, part of the patriarchy because you do enjoy exotic partners, you’re fetishing the other,

actually that’s natural biodiversity, jungle fever, go out of tribe, all of the world, person form another region, boom boom time to diversify gene people, love sees no color, no separate races, fighting losing battle, urge is to you know, white settlers ran off into native villagers, token white refugees

so much native american /african american blood mixing

if we were more poly and open we would find ways to appreciate and honor and enjoy the diversity,

she says to him, are my breasts to small for you, he says sometimes, very honest

subplot, scheduling self to get boob job, doctor: is this mr right or mr maybe

more honest sometimes im in the mood for this, diverse experience, go out for this restaurant, diversity of romantic, sexual experience

I don’t have enough of something for somebody for every, diverse array of people, everyone’s covered

valuing everybody at different way different times

taboo

VS: so many powerful things, commend you for being open so raw, something humans don’t honestly say on any context, oh I’m so jealous, takes away with what’s there

taking to my french gf last night, never thought about it like this, I think racism is all this small dick complex, screen shots poster, someone protesting said that

something about being open, it could be open, I’m jealous that this girl has whatever xyz, growth in putting in on table

accept differences

commend you for being honest, saying that

I don’t know what its like to be a white man, you have swag in your own way

so beautiful, being confident saying what you’re saying

so much, powerful, impactful

thank for allowing me to go off

I don’t think I’ve felt comfortable with any body else

this is the time to do opposite of being more divided

love to see queer orgy make outs in the streets

arrest me with love

racist, bludgeon with police night stick, do anything but be on knees worshipping

shadow of jealousy, napolean dick complex

VS: conversations like this, getting there, take away the fog, not hate black women, dark skin women so much

treated different, we’re not ignorant, people born smart in their own way

bold enough confront self with honest,

how can I love myself more

TP: if you love self, want to see best and most beautiful in everyone else

take care of yourself, already beautiful, already god/goddess divine, just take care of yourself

ensemble cast of lovers

winners and losers, either get the girl, princess or oppressed slave

I would love to a woman to say to me, I like you, but I love this and that, what if I bring a wing man, can we get it all on together, I’ll be your booking agent

everybody plays different roles

some people I’m mr friday, some people I’m mr tuesday, as long as I’m not mr never to anybody, is be fine, goes both ways

can’t we all just get along

that’s my trip, sorry, adults only in my church

good times

VS: that’s great

back to horrific, world of pain and suffering and agony and disaster, we’re having almost too much fun, to pray and feel into the real terror that people are experiencing now, grief, morning, poverty despair, lack of abundance,

we lathered up some good energy, how can we give it back

people suffering, better vibes

VS: really tough right now, a lot of heavy stuff, I’m excited for the church, excited to see how conversation gets led, we’re strong, it’s in our blood, we’ve had to survive times like this before, ancestors did, do have hope, keep chugging along, very proud as black person to witness black people handle this so beautifully

beautiful how blacks are giving their white allies the opportunity to step in and show up how they need to show up

whether getting on knees or holding a door

blacks welcoming this healing process, already in it

feels like a healing

different access, food , education, resilience in black community from ancestors, chugging along so beautifully, be seen, heard, stand in power, have it not be taken away or stomped on or ignored, brink of brand new horizon, brand new awakening