McPheever alert: Cold showers may be required

Attention, Katharine McPhee fans: What you are about to see might cause a sudden spike in body temperature. Before proceeding, please have ice packs ready. And, possibly, smelling salts. I don’t want any heads exploding on account of an acute case of the McPheever. Right, are you ready? Have you braced yourself? Do you have the proper emergency kit on hand?

Hello. I’m not even really a fan and I’m all, damn. The shot comes from a cover spread by the always demure folks at Stuff magazine. Granted, Stuff isn’t my normal trolling grounds for information (I go there with a grim sense of purpose and determination only for you, AfterEllen.com readers. I swear. Really.), but the corresponding interview — while not particularly deep (what, you were expecting The New Yorker?) — did yield a couple of interesting nuggets. Here are a few with my parenthetical thoughts after each one (yes, I realize I’ve already given you a ridiculous number of parentheticals. It’s Friday, OK?).

On her wild younger days:

“This one time we were walking down the street in Boston, and I was wearing this little skirt. There was this grate with air coming from underneath it. I remember standing above the grate with the air blowing up, and I was holding my skirt down. Another time, we went down to Coyote Ugly. We had so much fun dancing on the bar; the girls were taking their bras off. But I didn’t do that.”

(Heck, Kat, you can see more than that at your friendly neighborhood Dyke March any day.)

On what younger men need to know about women:

“Women sometimes act out, and men get frustrated. They don’t get that all we want is, for a few seconds, for you to be all about the girl — to snuggle her and give her kisses and tell her, ‘Your lips are so pretty today. I love your lips.’ For me, with men, I will fixate on something. I’ll say, ‘I’m obsessed with your chin.’ I’ll kiss his chin and munch on it, and I think that makes people feel good.”

(Chin munching. I’m gonna leave that one alone.)

On settling down:

“Oh, yeah. I want to have, like, 15 babies. I’ve always wanted to be pregnant. One year for Halloween, I decided to be pregnant, so I got this nun costume, and I put a big belly under it. I showed my parents and said I want to go to school as a pregnant nun. My dad sat me down and said, ‘Katharine, you can’t!'”

(Fifteen babies? You and Angelina had better start scheduling those play dates now.)

Behind-the-scenes shots of her latest video, “Love Story,” were also released this week. Again, wow. I don’t know what all the crawling over tabletops, showing off back cleavage and smoldering with bed head is about, but I approve. I may have come down with a little McPheever myself.

The video is supposed to come out today, so check her official website for updates. (Oh, and one last parenthetical. Is it just me, or does “Love Story” sound like a slowed down, popped up Beyoncé song? If nothing else, the sparkly dress sure reminds me of her.)