Release the probe

Almost as good as that infamous Dutch dyke fingering incident, but in reality regrettably not as much of a Carry On as we'd have liked:

"I would ask that there be an urgent investigation into whether Dame Shirley Porter has committed perjury or any other offence at any stage in her court evidence and/or affidavits during the homes for votes scandal."

That's it. Aside from the time she had her assets frozen there's not much Viz-age we can milk from this story’s paps. No plans to prevent Dames getting congested or a tax on any of their badly regulated emissions... maybe he's saving the real vote-grabbers for the re-election campaign.