Jamie Shane: Life's experiences filter messages, good and bad

If you have ever watched a reunion of old fraternity brothers, you come away amazed at the terrible things they say and do to one another.

The words that come out of their mouths are some of the vilest and most foul.

They call into question one another's manhood, insult their mothers and denigrate one another's appearance. Usually this is accompanied by some form of physical violence. It is simply amazing.

But this is not the truly astounding thing. The truly astounding thing is that nobody is offended. They are, in fact, touched and amused. Hmm.

Over the course of their time together, during their mutual experience, they have learned to attach a different emotional response to this kind of rude behavior.

We, the uninitiated, would interpret being called a nasty such-and-such and being choked in a headlock a good reason to call the police.

Our emotional response is fear or anger. They understand it as an expression of love and react accordingly.

The same can be said, in a very broad way, of the study of yoga asana and yoga philosophy.

For all of its gentle appearance, yoga is one tough, old so-and-so. Taken out of one's emotional context, it can really be quite rude.

Purify your body by giving up your toxic, cultural comforts. Purify your mind by getting up at 5 a.m. to chant every day. Put your foot over your head and stand upright, that's it, now soften and breathe out of your left nostril only.

Excuse me? Say what?

And that's just the tip of it.

If I walked up to the average civilian on the street and offered those instructions, the instinctive response would be to quickly exit stage left. Get outta there before this strange person follows me and starts shaking a tambourine.

But say that to a yogi and the response is more friendly. "Ah, Durvasana. I am having some trouble getting my knee hooked over my shoulder. Do you have any suggestions?"

There is nothing strange or absurd about it. The love of yoga is there, so these difficult requests are understood as an opportunity.

Our emotional affiliation to a communication determines how we will respond to it regardless of the words or tones employed.

Or, in other words, you only hear what you want to hear.

I don't believe that anybody is wholly immune. Ye olde average Joe is pretty well caught up in his or her own emotional web.

All of our intellectual intake is filtered through it — positive, negative or neutral.

Like a light switch, certain topics set off this emotional beacon and we subconsciously decide — almost immediately — whether or not we will accept the message.

We are all capable of dismissing what we don't emotionally respond to as "utter tripe." Even the most disciplined of scientists, teachers and philosophers.

One can begin to break this habit by cultivating a neutral mind, by finding this emotional "switch" and becoming aware of what flips it.

This begins with an examination of the self, a careful study of the many thoughts that flit across the surface of the mind.

You may become surprised at some of the beliefs you hold — remnant teachings from your childhood, fears that lie beneath the surface or old attachments you never consciously acknowledge.

You must become an archaeologist of self and dig out those autonomic emotional responses, replacing them with neutral awareness. Then and only then can you begin to hear the core message that is being offered to you.

You may still not agree. And that's absolutely fine.

But at least then your response will be an intellectually informed one and not just a knee-jerk offense.

That kind of blindness does you no favors in the course of your evolution.

We're not here to be right all of the time. Believe me, I know.

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Jamie Shane teaches yoga at her studio, Bija Yoga, in downtown Naples. For information or comment, she can be e-mailed at yoda@bijayoga971.com.