One girl's twistedly fantastic interpretation of what the hell is really going on in those tribes.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Colton & Caleb: Southern Harm

Next up is the white supremacist, Fancy Pants (Colton), and the lost soul he actually convinced to marry him. If you'll remember, Fancy Pants was medically evacuated from Survivor: One World when the hatred in his heart decided to dine on his lower intestines and eat him alive from the inside out. Most remarkably though, is that Dimples (Jeff Probst) told us Survivor would never have Fancy Pants back. Well, Dimples lied and the easter egg is back. Let's see if Fancy Pants has learned anything since we last saw him.

Please to enjoy:

I'm not sure CBS will be allowed to air Caleb spitting on Fancy Pants' "fuse". Instead, we'll probably see these two bicker over how Fancy Pants relates to people. Country Caleb will be mortified and Fancy Pants will be self righteous. I'd be surprised if the tribes don't target Fancy Pants right off the bat. I only hope it happens after Gervase kicks his ass.

So, what do you think of Fancy Pants and Country Caleb? Does Fancy Pants have a shot in hell of lasting until the Merge? Will Country Caleb end up spending half his time apologizing for the Imperial Wizard? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!

I barely made it past the 60 second mark... I would rather listen to Elvira recite The Declaration of Independence (all those words for her to drrrraaaagggg out) than a full 60 seconds of Colton talk about anything other than how sad he is that he got voted off the Island before they made it to the first tribal council. Maybe I hold a grudge because of how I remember him from his original season. Maybe. But in no way do I think he has grown or changed. And that's fine, but don't try to say "I have to convince THOSE PEOPLE" of anything other than he has grown up. He had so much potential to be the sassy. loveable character who made us laugh and made us want to root for him. Hopefully he can prove us wrong and entertain. Not make us want to send a drone mosquito in there to "infect" him with something again.

Yes he is a scum bag. And dumbass humans seem to love to follow scumbags. So, he will likely survive way past the merge. Whaddayagonna do. Seriously, Dimples and the whole crew are assholes for bringing this scumbag back on the show.

Caleb is a cutey. He must see something in Colton and so far he doesn't seem like the type that would feel the need to defend Colton. I noticed he just smiled at Colton when Colton was crying about maybe having his lover (Caleb) voted out. Colton knows he's been such an a-hole in the past and no-one else likes him. He should be SO thankful he found someone like Caleb and that Caleb actually likes him. If there is ever a way for Colton to change his nasty, catty ways it would be this rock of a dude - Caleb