Do you belieb that one of Canada’s biggest exports could be deported as a result of his recent Miami arrest?

The possibility is slim. Nevertheless, less than a week after it was first posted to the government’s “We the People” platform, over 100,000 Americans have signed a petition asking the Obama administration to revoke Bieber’s green card. (Why? Because “he is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations youth.”) And according to the site’s terms of participation, this means that the White House must now respond to the petition “in a timely fashion.”

Just don’t expect that response to come soon – or to affirm that Bieber really will be kicked off our amber waves of grain.

Facetious pop culture petitions aren’t exactly a top priority for the White House; in the past, they’ve taken two months to respond to calls for the construction of a Death Star (“The Administration does not support blowing up planets”) and the cancellation of Jimmy Kimmel Live! following an offensive segment (“The First Amendment of the Constitution protects free speech, even if individuals might personally find it offensive or distasteful”).

And perhaps more importantly, DUIs and drag-racing aren’t deportable offenses. As The Hollywood Reporter points out, immigration visas can only be revoked in the event of a violent crime or a prison sentence that exceeds one year; Bieber faces an array of potential consequences, but if he is sentenced to prison, he’d only get up to six months for drag racing and up to six months for the DUI.