Whenever my man tries to manually stimulate me, I won't let him bc my clit is too sensitive to be touched.......I try but after a few seconds it is too much to bare, it's between a pain and a tickleing feeling.....And I have to make him stop...Could this be why i've never had an orgasm.........Ever? And sex just doens't feel.............Like anything. I don't feel a damn thing, and it's not that he is small......He isn't...........So I don't know what is going on........I hate it! Lol everyone talks about how good it is,well I wish I knew what they were talkin about!

Last edited by Heathergirl on November 10th, 2004 07:24 PM; edited 1 time in total

I'm with you on the clit thing. I guess I just figured I didn't like it because the feeling makes me feel like i'm not in control and I can't relax. I don't know. As far as sex, though, I love it. Don't know what to tell you about that. Maybe you should try some diff. Sized vibrators at diff. Angles and stuff.....

Heathergirl, I know exactly what you mean, I always thought maybe I am wired up differently because I can't stand having it touched directly! Try asking him to touch the area around it instead, I find just above can be very nice, the sensations sort of travel to the right spot that way. If he doesn't get it, tell him to imagine what it would feel like if all the nerve endings on his entire penis were concentrated in s spot the siz of a fingertip!

same here! When I first got married I could hardly stand for my husband to touch me there. And sex was painful, I was scared I was up for a lifetime of disappointment.

The biggest thing for me was to relax. I still have a hard time with my husband stimulating me, he just doesn't know how to touch it right, but if I never let him, he's never going to learn. We talk through it, like he'll try and i'll gently tell him, try putting your finger lower, a little more to the side, a little less pressure, a little more of a circle, etc. He's really patient and even brought me to orgasm once, but that was the only time. I almost always have to stimulate myself while he's penetrating me.

Have you tried different positions? Sounds like a stupid question maybe, but different positions touch differnt things.

My personal favorite is from behind--it's so hot! The only way I have ever had an orgasm without any stimulation with hands is with my husband on top, my legs wrapped around him with my heels digging in to his cheeks (his other cheeks ) and then I grab my feet and pull myself as close to him as I can and as he's pulling out, I flex my pelvic area so it comes up and when he's going in I push down. This rubs my clit in just the right way but at first it was a little painful. I sort of readjusted my position a little bit, and honestly just sort of pushed through the pain. Thank god I did!! I had my first multiple orgasm (three times) and it was amazing. We've only gotten to two since then, and even that not very often, and only that way (without hands).

Anyway, try taking time to walk through it with him, and helping him understand what feels good and what doesn't. Be really aware to tell him gently if something feels good or doesn't, because he's already going to be nervous about it. And be careful to be too excited about something he does that feels good because he will always go back to that. Unfortunately as women the same thing doesn't always feel as good every time.

Try different positions. We usually cycle through two or three every time we have sex. Try sex in the shower sitting, standing, bending over, try sex up against the wall with him supporting you, sex over the bed, you on top facing away...Just get really creative. Different modes of penetration result in different areas stimulated.

When I first started having sex, my g-spot (which some people think is a myth but for those of us who have ever felt it, it most certainly is not) felt like I had to pee, like he kept bumping my bladder. It was such a new feeling the first couple times I made him stop and I went to see if I had to pee (usually didn't). Once I got past that it's an incredible feeling, gives me goosebumps on my scalp.

Different angles will reach it different ways, just be open to exploring and communicating.

One more thing...Try putting your legs in different positions, and moving your pelvis around like, push your lower back out like you were bending over (as opposed to bending back) that really makes direct access to that soft patch inside that makes you feel like you have to pee. Get through that feeling and it can be pretty amazing.

Yes! I only cum on top when my clit is rubbing or rarely when i'm on my back with my legs wrapped around tight and by moving my pelvis..... I'm so glad i'm not alone. I thought I was wierd. I've only had a clit orgasm, never a g-spot oragasm, I can't stand that having to pee feeling.... Goes back to I can't relax enought I guess.. Try diff mod settings to relax. Diff lighting, diff rooms, etc...

I'm relieved to hear that others have the same problem - if my clitoris is touched directly, it is painful. I thought I was the only one, because in porn videos, every girl always fingers herself directly on her clitoris. I tell my boyfriend to go just above it with his two middle fingers and press down so it still stimulates the clitoris, just indirectly. It takes a bit longer to orgasm, but it's the only way I'm able to.

im glad to hear thats its not just me too ! my boyfriend gets really annoyed cause when i get the "i need a wee" feeling, i make him stop. is there nothing we can do for them to carry on so we can orgasm ?

Hey, I have a question for u girls. I'm a guy and my girlfriend has a really sensitive clit and she won't let me touch it at all. But we've done everything but sex and last night I gave her oral (her legs were wide open) and I felt something hard and I'm sure it was her clit and she made me stop because it hurt her! We continued after awhile and I kept bumping into it (on accident)! Is this normal for girls? Also she won't let me go "in" more than around an inch or 2 because it hurts. What did you do to make it not hurt? B/c I'm all for pleasureing her and I think she might enjoy it more if I go in further and have more room to play around.. Please help!

One - A clit is sensitive. You cannot man-handle it. Two - You have other options of touch. Like exploring the area around it beause the nerves are shaped like a wishbone. Start with soft and slow, really understanding and making love to the area. Three - Lubrication is key. If you approach with saliva on a finger, you make need to apply more than one application. Either the natural fluids from the vagina or a store purchased lubricant are better. Four - Make sure who ever is touching it, is really enjoying the play and your enjoyment. Sex is only best when both partners are excited and enjoying the festivities.

jeez im glad im not the only one..im confused though ok so when me and my boyfriend go at it making out gets me going enough that he just barels into sex. so we have sex and like i feel like i have to pee i ignore it and its like i do but its not...pee its all clear..is this squirting? and when my boyfriend does do foreplay he like touches my clit but my legs go crazy like they jerk around and i cant keep them stil, its involuntary :/

I'm trying to find a way to tell my new partner that he needs to back off on the clitoral area, or try stimulating a little lower. :-/

I think our sexual nerves are just unique...and we're all probably part of the "I can squirt" variety. Whether you realize it or not.

Just check out the guy who said his girl won't let him go more than a couple inches deep. That's because you're hitting her g-spot and it makes her feel like she has to "pee". What she doesn't realize is that it isn't pee...it's female ejaculation.

Honestly, I feel better being orally stimulated when I have my g-spot manipulated at the same time. If that's not happening...it just makes my legs shake, I wrench away, and it feels like someone is pushing on a splinter that someone put into my clitoris. :-/

I started seeing someone that was giving me oral in a very good spot - JUST above my vaginal opening. Now after complimenting him on his skill, he's going straight to the bad spot. I have to try to find a way to break it to him without crushing his ego...because I REALLY enjoy it when he does it right. (oh, and loving him doesn't hurt ;-D )

The awful part about it is that my body just sends the WRONG messages when it hurts. My legs tremble, I flinch AND I get wet. So the guy, going by cues alone, thinks he's doing something awesome. It's REALLY hard to break the news. :-/

This is a little late of a rply, but I have the same problem about the "wrong" messages. My Boyfriend, we've had sex plenty of times, but whenever he gets to close to my clit, or touvhes it direct on I grab his hand, and I'm sort of turned off because of the pain. I tell him this action hurts, and now when he does it, it's accidental. BUT, I let him give oral sex because it's much more gentle then just his fingers. So, all-in-all I feel better because I can get stimulated without the pain

I have the same problem as the comment above. When my boyfriend fingers me from behind it feels amazing. I get that 'have to pee' feeling, which at first scared me cos I actually thought I was gonna pee. But eventually I pushed through that feeling and realised it was the sign of female ejaculation.
It's like a clear fluid with no smell and quite a lot of it if you are squirting.
The thing is, although this feels amazing I don't actually orgasm. Is that normal? Because most girls say the squirting is the best orgasm ever, but I don't orgasm?
My clit is also REALLY sensitive, I get the splinter feeling as well. It can feel nice if he strokes around it gently, but directly touching it feels really uncomfortable and make my legs flinch and spasm loads involuntarily.
I think this is normal and maybe if you push through it the clit will become less sensitive and feel nice.
Having sex/fingering/oral all feel really good, and I often ejaculate, but I have NEVER had a proper orgasm. Why is this and how can I help???

i also have the same problem with the "too sensitive" clit. if it gets rubbed or touched directly on it, my legs start to jerk and i feel like im being shocked! is there any way to stop this nonsense?!

Mine is the same too! I thought I was just weird or not normal...it aggravates me though cuz I can get myself off, but for some reason, my fianc can't get me off...It makes him feel like he isn't good enough, but he is amazing...I'm just...idk

I have experienced the same thing. When my clit is rubbed directlymy legs jerk. i have noticed that if a man pays attention and knows what he is doing he will keep his finger well lubricated and just ever so slightly brush the clit. I have never actuall orgasmed from this but it does still feel really good and it prepares your body. Also one way to orgasms through both clitoral and g-spot stimulation is have the man use his thumb to push inside you against your g spot. if he faces the rest of his hand up he can then move his hand in and out. hitting both your g spot and slapping your clit. the duel stimulation makes the i have to pee feeling disapear and also stops the uncomfortable jerky leg syndrome.
after squirtinmg do be prepared for some tenderness around your urethra. the area may be swollen for a day or so and cause some discomfort similar to that of a uti. every time you pee it will feel a little strange. and you will feel like you have to pee again right away.
Another thing, if you do girl on top instead of rising and falling rock your hips forward and back. this will effectively stimulate both the clit and g spot and should lead to orgasm.
hope this helps

I think the actual problem here is not with us but with our men. Porn has conditioned them to think that rough direct clitoris stimulation is what real women want. They are wrong and they just simply need to be shown and/ or told. I like to show him what I want using self demonstration. He loves this and gets him in the aim to please mode. Then I will softly direct and if he hits it right, I respond so there is no doubt that this was what I wanted. After about 3-4 go arounds, I never have to tell my husband what I want anymore. He knows what I love and I know what he loves. Again, blame porn. Porn was not made to be pleasing for the female. The women in porn are doing what the director is telling them to do in order to turn men on and sell DVDs.

actually with most women direct stimulation isn't a problem. Some women like ya'll though do have this problem. On the other hand though the guy has to be able to listen to the cues that the female is giving off. My last GF had the same problem as most women on here with her clit being too sensitive. The main thing is that sometimes no matter what you do it's just not gonna work. The women has to really be into it and be able to relax. Guys if you are reading this let her move your fingers where she wants them. If it is your tongue let her tell you what you need to do with it. I have found that the area between the top of the vagina and the top of the clit is the best area. Also use the bottom of your tongue instead of the top or tip of it.

I am glad i am not a lone. The only way my clit every gets stimulated is through oral. I cant stand a finger touching it. Once when i was younger i experimented with masturbation and i felt like i had to pee, And then out of nowhere this liquid comes out. its wasnt 'squirted' though..it just kind of trickled out, but it was a lot! i thought i had peed myself, which has made me NEVER masturbate again. it was just embarrassing for myself. i know now that i didnt pee.. the liquid was clear and had no scent..but its never happened again.. Sex for me is nothing. My boyfriend gives me oral before sex because i cant orgasm during it..I fake it..and i feel horrible for it, and i cant tell him that i do..I just want a way to stop faking it and really have an orgasm so i dont have to keep going down that road..i have had the 'i have to pee' feeling during sex but it was painful..i pushed through it and nothing happened. Its like pressure, like someone is pushing down on your stomache where your bladder is when you have to pee..im always afraid i'll pee on him..

Okay, so I think I have the same problem as everyone else, which is comforting knowing it's not just me, but my other problem is that my clit hurts/uncomfortable when I am doing nothing. like right now. I am sitting on the couch and I can feel that my clit is "tender". it is the specific spot that is hidden by the skin, it feels like it is constantly being chafed. I have checked the area and it is not red, or swollen and the skin looks intact and fine so I don't know what is going on an why it hurts. i will sit and then move a bit and it feels like its getting pinched or something. it is really starting to get on my nerves. have any of you heard of something like this?