Wednesday, October 22, 2008

You know how some families seem unfairly exposed to death and loss? It is so hard to understand. Why them? Why again?
My sweet sister-in-law, Karen, (my brother's wife of 14 years) has been through so much, and just when you think it can't get worse, it does.
Six years ago, Karen lost her father to lung cancer (he was not a smoker). It was a horrible tragedy that none of her family expected.
A few years later, when they had just begun to heal from the loss of her father, Karen's mom was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gherigs disease). She died from complications of that 2 years ago, just after Christmas.
Karen has done so well dealing with the loss that she has dealt with. Having lost both parents by the age of 30 is something none of us ever dream of enduring. Karen has an older and a younger brother, and they have pulled together and supported each other during their times of loss.
Last night, Karen's older brother, Steven, died in a car accident. Why? Why them? Why again?
I certainly do not question God, ever; I know that even in death, there is Glory because of God. But, that said, I do often wonder what God's plan is. And why some people have to deal with so much pain, while others do not.
My brother and Karen have 3 boys: Tyler, 14, Andrew, 9, and Blake, 3.
Tyler and Andrew have suffered losses greater than I have ever dreamed of. Losing their grandfather who could do anything and had so much to teach them; their grandmother that was so dear to them, who lived only blocks away and was everything that you dream a grandmother could be; and now their uncle, who would have them over for sleepovers and all night video game sessions.
I went to see the boys last night after I found out what had happened. It turns out Steven was in a one car accident. He rode the median for a while before going off into an embankment. He didn't have his seat belt on, which was unusual because they say he typically wore it.
These boys are so full of questions. "Do you think he could have passed out because it looks like he should have tried to turn and get back on the road?" "What is a seizure?" "Could he have had one?" "I wonder why he didn't have his seatbelt on?"
Listening to these boys ask these questions, and wonder why, and just not understand, is so painful. Andrew just cried, and said "I feel so sorry for my mom, and aunt K, and Michael (Karen's younger brother)." I hate that they have to deal with something as big as this. I want to wrap them up and protect them and make everything fun and laughs and smiles. They are the best kids, probably in part because they know what loss and true pain feels like.
And Karen, I can't even begin to imagine how she feels. I can't fathom the thought of losing my brother, my kindred spirit, my friend and protector and partner in crime.
So-please pray for Karen, and my brother (Gary), and Tyler, Andrew, and Blake, and Steven's wife- Kimberly, and Karen's younger brother- Michael. They need our prayers.
And Count your blessings.