This blog is about anything I think is funny. B of All, this blog is about the adventures of being single in Washington DC. C of All, this blog is about fashion faux pas, pop culture, and the pursuit of a really good hot dog.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Mustard and I Celebrate Guy Fawkes, Bonfires, and Smores

I'm telling you, I have to watch Mustard every minute. I came home from work today, Guy Fawkes Day, to find him in him already in his Guy Fawkes costume.

I was like, "geez Mustard, can you relax for a few minutes? Let me eat some dinner? Maybe take my shoes off? I told you we'd celebrate ... but chill, man, chill!"

But he was worse than a damn puppy yapping around my heels while I put my chicken nuggets in the oven. "Don't you think those nuggets would be better Flame Roasted? Doncha? Doncha?" I didn't.

Ever since I told him about how fun Guy Fawkes Night is he's been driving me nuts. Personally, I think he just wants to light things on fire. He's such a boy that way! If you aren't familiar with this most excellent English holiday it involves burning things in effigy and fireworks - which is basically the recipe for an awesome holiday, people. Leading up to the day kids ask for money ("A Penny for the Guy?" ) to buy their Guy effigies or fireworks. Apparently, Fall is the international season for sanctioned child begging; Americans ask for candy, English ask for money. Go figure.

Anyway, Mustard is WAY excited to light some stuff on fire. (I didn't have the heart to tell him that his costume was pretty creepy, but I made him take it off for the burning part, I didn't want him to have an accident since he's plastic and all.) I asked him if he had prepared our Guy effigy while I was at work. He had:

I said, "Alrighty then, let's get this party started! Mustard, prepare the traitor!"

Mustard said, "Guy Fawkes, I hereby skewer you in the name of the Parliament People, and Burning, and S'mores!" And he was soundly skewered. "Wench Gretchen, prepare the bonfire!"

"Don't call me wench, if you want to keep doing this."

"Sorry. Bonfire Mistress, Is the bonfire prepared to receive the traitor?"

"Ok, have a good time. But don't quote Monty Python, it really shows your age. (And your lameness). AND If you make any S'mores out of the body, be sure you share. And don't touch the stove, it's still hot and you'll melt."

@Erin - Don't worry, I do it all for the story (this is also true for my dating life). I'm not insane yet. And yes, I was laughing my face off. Especially when writing it up ... Mustard makes things funny!

@Mrs Dub - I probably should have spent more time talking about Guy Fawkes day. But basically in 1600s GF tried to blow up the Parliment buildings, and so ever since the British return the favor by burning effigies of him. At this point, it's mostly just an opportunity for kids to beg for money, and adults to light stuff on fire. Either way, a fun holiday!

(It occurs to me that maybe you meant "what is Mustard all about". I linked out to the post about how I found him. He's now my sidekick/mascot/scapegoat. You will be seeing him regularly.)