I’m a 911 operator, and I recently had an elderly woman call me about someone putting “exotic killer animals” with “black and white stripes like zebras” into her basement while she was gone. It ended up being a family of raccoons hiding from the storms.

There was a family of raccoons living in my porch roof. I was going to knock the boards on the underside of the roof down, so they stop coming. But, the babies were too small and we thought we’d give them a little time to get bigger. After a few months, they looked really big. So, we ended up knocking down the porch roof planks. You won’t believe the amount of shit that was up there. Their shits are almost as big as my dogs – and they had been piling it up there for months. I had to go get a biohazard suit and stuff. They’re cute, but a lot of trouble once they make a home somewhere.