Childfree/Childless & Looking for Love

June 13th, 2013

A frustrated man left a comment here several months ago asking, to paraphrase, “Where are all these childfree and childless women you write about?” I passed the question along to the masses on Facebook and Twitter. No help.

Logically, single NotMoms are everywhere that Moms are. Well, almost. Church, workplaces, malls, social clubs and bars. But since some women without kids say that they can’t find their peers, it makes sense that a guy looking for no-kids love would have the same complaint.

Through hearsay from several women, I know the super-sized dating sites like Match.com and OK Cupid offer a “childless” filter box for users to check and Presto! you’ll only review other people without children. Thinking back, those women are actively dating online, but none is a NotMom.

Confessing that I haven’t been single, or on a date, for..well, decades, it makes sense to me that male or female, dating’s hard enough without the dread of confessing that you don’t want or can’t have children. It can be done, of course, but it’d be great to avoid the hurt of finding a great person, then losing them after The Big Discussion.

Results for a Google search of “online dating childless” unearthed more than 10 questioners on Yahoo, Reddit, etc. hoping to find a resource limited to childless and childfree adults. Some of those posts go back to 2006, so people have been looking for a long time. I did find a free dating/networking site, No Kids Passions, part of the niche-focused Passions Network.Has anyone out there ever found a date on No Kids Passions or another online site?

What advice can you share with women (and men) about finding compatible dates online or off?

Meetup.com is a great place to find groups that are for both childfree singles and childfree couples. I organize such a group in the Saint Louis area, intended for those without children (i.e., not empty nesters, but those who have never had children).

Members may not only like, but may want children in the future, though they may have the desire to meet another single who does not yet have them.

Good for you for pulling together an offline hook-up for adults w/o kids! Please consider writing a longer post for us with start-up tips. We have received several messages from women trying to do exactly that.

I met my better half on Match.com. I was extremely straightforward in the written segment of my profile, indicating that I didn’t want children nor did I want to date a single dad. I stated my preferences as nicely as possible. Of course, I got a few nutballs who contacted me to let me know that I was an epic FAIL at being woman, but then I met the BH and decided he was the one for me on our second date.

I also think that meeting a CF single who’s right for you depends on where you live. I live in a very large, liberal metropolis. There are always going to be more choices in a big city, of course. Smaller towns? I shudder to think. Just for giggles, I plugged in the zip of the tiny bunk town where I grew up, and I got absolutely no hits. All the guys wanted (or had) kids.

“…the tiny bunk town where I grew up, and I got absolutely no hits.” Wow. SO many NotMoms’ comments prove the point that chances for real-life connections with other women without children start and end with where they live. Utah, for example, is a real challenge. Thanks for writing, and congrats on finding your BH.

[…] Childfree/Childless & Looking for Love – Are you looking for a relationship with another childfree man or woman? It can sometimes be difficult to navigate your way around the online dating world. This article discusses the realities of childfree online dating and gives a couple of tips on how you can find other childfree men and women on major dating sites. Make sure you invite me to your wedding if this article helps you, but please don’t seat me at the table full of uptight people. Thank you. […]

I met my kidfree boyfriend on OKCupid. We both selected “Kids: Not for me” as the choice and viola! We were super matches for a lot more reasons than that. I must admit I wouldn’t look twice at someone’s profile who wanted kids or was on the fence because my marriage ended over me not wanting kids and my ex wanting them. I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time or be lectured for not wanting kids (childfree bingo is a drag). I wanted to meet someone who was absolutely sure kids weren’t for them. Good news, I did!

For the first time, a major conference for & about
women without children by choice or by chance. THE NOT MOM SUMMIT Fri/Sat October 9 & 10, 2015 - Cleveland OH!

Two days of specialized programming in 5 tracks exploring the distinctive dimensions of your life, with expert speakers from the US & UK, including Melanie Notkin, founder of Savvy Auntie & author of Otherhood: Modern Women Finding A New Kind of Happiness. Get helpful tips, meet kindred spirits, and party on!