Paleo Porno Pork Bellly_His writing is hilarious!

Paleo-Porno-Pork-Belly

Cooking Steps

*Note, (extremely funny) adult language follows

It’s…it’s so pwetty. Lookit! It’s like God came down from heaven,
waved his magic wand and created a slab of bacon-y sexiness. Was I
turned on by the large piece of meat? (And are you going to judge me for
admitting, ‘yes’?). Even better was when it was frozen and became a
veritable bacon-weapon. In the end I cooked it instead of drilling a
hole into it and making sweet, sweet love. The lovely, thick layer of
fat keeps the rest of the meat beautifully moist as well as turning into
the sexiest damn piece of crackling you’ll find.
It’s a piece of piss (translation = easy) to make though so don’t
sweat it. You’ll only need a handful of flavours too. Be warned though,
it takes bloody AAAGES (2 fucking hours!), so be prepared for the
copious amounts of aggressive, non-voluntary masturbation that’ll occur,
sparked off by the amazing, bacon-y, sex smells coming out of your
kitchen.
I was red raw afterwards.
I’m not even kidding.
I had to get a cream.

First things first, turn on yo’ oven! Stick it on 220C/425F.
Put your pork on the chopping board and get your sexiest, sharpest knife
and score the fat, about 1cm apart. Rub some of your salt, pepper,
garlic and chopped up chillies into scores and around the fat. Really
get yer fingers in. This’ll also be a great time for you to discover any
cuts you might have on your fingers or knuckles…
Season the bottom of the belly with the remaining salt and black
pepper and put it into a pyrex dish (cavemen had pyrex…right?). Stick
her in the oven for about 45 mins. When the skin starts to puff up turn
the heat down to 180C/350F and baste the fucker with the fats and juices
in the dish. Roast for another tortuous hour until you can’t stand it
anymore. Slice lovingly and serve that sexy bastard. Enjoy

Get link

Facebook

Twitter

Pinterest

Google+

Email

Other Apps

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Take the bottle of vicks vaporub from your medical kit and rub it on the cracked heels. Cover your heels with socks and wake up to beautiful feet!
In the morning, wash your feet properly. And then pamper your feet by soaking em in lukewarm water mixed with salts. Stay in there for about 10 minutes and be assured to notice a very strong difference!

Hi,I am a Personal Trainer and Freelance Makeup Artist.I have battled an eating disorder all of my life till I met the love of my life my husband.I am now on a quest for clean eating(which I practice mainly Paleo),exercise,beauty,fighting the aging process(because it is a disease),good wine,fashion and optimal living.I am here to help others on my journey.