How do condoms really affect sex for men?

My boyfriend and I have used condoms in the past but now he refuses to wear one saying he would rather wank than have sex with a condom. I am getting a coil fitted in the next few days so having sex without one is a no go. I don't like condoms personally as they tend to cause a lot of friction and don't stay as moist as a nice penis :). But why do you think after two years he now refuses to use them, when he didn't really mind before? Or is it the fact that he probably thinks that I will give in if he refuses my advances? Either way it has upset me a bit that he only seems to think about his own needs and never about mine. If he had refused to use them from day one I would understand. Any ideas?

My first GF and I used condoms for a while then she went on the pill. My wife was on the pill when we met then we used a coil and eventually I had the snip. I personally dont like using them neither does my wife you lose the spontenaity and the feel of a nice wet woman. There is something really earthy about coming inside a woman which you lose with condoms. We only used condoms when we had to due to change of pill or after childbirth.I dunno how I would feel about someone refusing to take precautions, seems a bit selfish and irrisponsible to me.

We had no real problems with the coil but I dont think it is good for women long term thats why I had the snip.

i arent a big fan of them. they do desensitise a lil. but i quite like the mrs putting it on me (she only gives me blow jobs with flavoured condoms). on the plus side to that she ends up sucking me for hours lol.

well when I say long term I mean 20 + yrs....I just seem to remember my wife saying it, thats why I had the snip. I think it can cause heavier periods but that stuff is definitely for a doctor to tell you.

I can't imagin prefering masturbation to sex.......although a slow seductive hand job is very nice.

What I have found works well is using a condom at the times of the month when the chances of pregnancy is most likely then dont need to use one for the rest of the month. a nice compromise. can check up on the more risky times, or go to catholic school when it gets drummed into you:)

He doesn't seem too bothered about me being a new mum, it's just condoms he hates. And I mean HATES!

And I am getting my coil fitted tomorrow.. I have had the implant and have been on the pill but due to other medications I am on I can only opt for a type of contraception that has no hormones in.. so the IUD is pretty much my only option. I am so scared though.. Really don't want to do it but with my OH refusing to use condoms I have no choice. I hate men!!!!!

I admit I prefer sex without condoms but I would not refuse to ware one, for really good and confidential contraception advice go to brook.org. can talk through your worries and maybe offer alternatives

well when I say long term I mean 20 + yrs....I just seem to remember my wife saying it, thats why I had the snip. I think it can cause heavier periods but that stuff is definitely for a doctor to tell you.

I can't imagin prefering masturbation to sex.......although a slow seductive hand job is very nice.

I think maybe gunther is talking about the hormonal coil mirena? I've had both including copper one. Both disagreed with my body. The copper one gave me horrifc painful periods, so heavy I've never seen as much blood in a horror film!

I had mirena hormonal coil fitted last yr as treatment for endometriosis, or that's what it was supposed to do anyway! I lived for 6 months in sheer pain on a dialy basis with uncontrollable and debilitating cramps, and, dare I say it- I'd rather have kept my endometriosis with all it's pain! And to top it all of I stopped it and had it removed to fall pregnant as with my endo, my gynae said babies are a now or never situation for me before the endo puts a stop to it within the next 18 months. I fell preg within a month-6wks of coming off it and miscarried at 5 weeks. There are lots of possible reasons for any miscarriage, but me and my mum are convinced it's beacause I still had the hormones in my system that left my own natural ones off balance contributing to my miscarriage, even though I'd had one to two regular, normal and on-time cycles as I had my period the next day it was removed, had a period exactly four weeks later and fell pregnant that following month. I came off mirena early dec and fell pregnant late jan.

But with any hormonal contraception, there is always long term risks and maybe more so with mirena as although it's been about since the 90's, they do not fully know all about the long term implications of it yet. I am not trying to scare anyone or put them off, I am merely just sharing my experience and opinion.

Good luck! I hope it works for you, I was told it is rare for a womans body/womb to not accept it just like mine didn't, but it wouldn't be normal for me if it had of worked as because if anything can happen, then it will to me! lol.

To comment on the original post, me and the oh hate condoms, the feel, smell and the lubricant they come with irritates me anyway. But to some extent I feel your boyfriend is somewhat very selfish and has no respect for you to refuse to wear them anymore after such a long time. It should've been a mutual decision based on your monogamous relationship and trust for one another to stop using them, and not for his own needs!

As a guy I can empathise with the frustration regarding the loss of sensation and general mood killi-ness associated with condoms. But unfortunately sometimes one just has to man up! Can't speak for your boyfriend of course but it definitely sounds like brinkmanship to me, I can't imagine too many guys foregoing sex for that reason alone.

I would definitely recommend you try Mates Skyn condoms (link here with our full review also: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15162 as these are made from a novel material and give a far better sensation than any other condoms I have ever tried. Also, use lots of lube to counteract the friction and dryness with condoms. Good luck!

Lot's of men hate condom's infact in my whole sex life (which is not 100's of men) there's only been one man whom insisting that a condom must be worn all my other X partners have had some sort of a excuse usually the "oh im allergic to them" comment - ummmm latex free!...............iv used the pill a lot of the time (which also f**ked my cycles up didn't have a period for about 4 yrs, and when i stopped it to try for my 2nd baby we actually tried for 2 yrs due to having to wait ages for the pill to get out my system)! We''re currently using only condoms now because i wont go on the pill ever again, Mr T uses them at a push otherwise sex would be a defo no no untill we want baby no 3 (few yrs yet)

well when I say long term I mean 20 + yrs....I just seem to remember my wife saying it, thats why I had the snip. I think it can cause heavier periods but that stuff is definitely for a doctor to tell you.

I can't imagin prefering masturbation to sex.......although a slow seductive hand job is very nice.

I think maybe gunther is talking about the hormonal coil mirena? I've had both including copper one. Both disagreed with my body. The copper one gave me horrifc painful periods, so heavy I've never seen as much blood in a horror film!

I had mirena hormonal coil fitted last yr as treatment for endometriosis, or that's what it was supposed to do anyway! I lived for 6 months in sheer pain on a dialy basis with uncontrollable and debilitating cramps, and, dare I say it- I'd rather have kept my endometriosis with all it's pain! And to top it all of I stopped it and had it removed to fall pregnant as with my endo, my gynae said babies are a now or never situation for me before the endo puts a stop to it within the next 18 months. I fell preg within a month-6wks of coming off it and miscarried at 5 weeks. There are lots of possible reasons for any miscarriage, but me and my mum are convinced it's beacause I still had the hormones in my system that left my own natural ones off balance contributing to my miscarriage, even though I'd had one to two regular, normal and on-time cycles as I had my period the next day it was removed, had a period exactly four weeks later and fell pregnant that following month. I came off mirena early dec and fell pregnant late jan.

But with any hormonal contraception, there is always long term risks and maybe more so with mirena as although it's been about since the 90's, they do not fully know all about the long term implications of it yet. I am not trying to scare anyone or put them off, I am merely just sharing my experience and opinion.

Good luck! I hope it works for you, I was told it is rare for a womans body/womb to not accept it just like mine didn't, but it wouldn't be normal for me if it had of worked as because if anything can happen, then it will to me! lol.

To comment on the original post, me and the oh hate condoms, the feel, smell and the lubricant they come with irritates me anyway. But to some extent I feel your boyfriend is somewhat very selfish and has no respect for you to refuse to wear them anymore after such a long time. It should've been a mutual decision based on your monogamous relationship and trust for one another to stop using them, and not for his own needs!

rb

xx

My boyfriend and I have just read this and not sure I can go through with it. What can I do! I don't want to get pregnant again but I don't want anything in my body that shouldn't be there :(