Values exist in all of our lives. Whether we acknowledge them or not, they exist, often under the conscious level and are instrumental for us as they influence the decisions we make, how we behave, how we react to social and business environments and towards the important people and events in our lives. Personal values provide an internal reference for what is good, bad, beneficial, negative, important, useful, useless, beautiful, ugly, desirable and constructive to us. Often conflict arises when values of people are in-congruent.

By recognising our values and bring them into the open, we can create deep understanding of who we are and why we behave the way we do. When behaviour, decisions and actions are congruent with our values, life becomes much easier and filled with meaning. When you are not honouring your values life becomes uncomfortable and unfulfilled.

Honouring your values is about taking congruent action towards expressing your values. This has the benefits of creating more motivation towards achieving goals and being more persistent in pursuing achievements.

Eliciting and understanding values can be accomplished by a series of questions to determine what has meaning. It is necessary to elicit values in a reflective mood and situation where time and space are available for exploring what gives meaning.

Step 1 – Start with the simple questions:

What are values you admire in other people?

Think of a good friend. Think of him, or her, in a difficult situation. What are some of the good qualities you admire in him, or her, in such a situation?

Think of a good friend. Think of him, or her, in a happy situation. What are some of the good qualities you admire in him, or her, in such a situation?

Think of yourself in a difficult situation. What are some of the good qualities others admire in you, in such a situation?

Think of yourself in a happy situation. What are some of the good qualities others admire in you, in such a situation?

What is important to you?

What has to be true for you to …?

What makes you…?

What do you value in …?

What motivates you?

Beyond your need for food, shelter and community, what must you have in your life to feel fulfilled?

What cause would you sacrifice or suffer for? Why is this so important to you?

Step 2 – Analyse your values

Taking your values list, ask the following questions per value:

What do you mean with this … (value)?

What does this value mean to you? Often an obvious value has deep meaning behind it that may uncover deeper core values.

Step 3 – Rank you values

Rank your values in importance from most important to least important.

Then test your values in term of whether they support each other. For example, does value 2 support value 1? Does value 3 support value 2?

If necessary rearrange your values until you have a list of values in which the most important is at the top of the list and each subsequent value supports the one rated above it.