I’ve seen this one coming, but have been waiting to see what form it would take.

I know Doris from a crochet class, and she’s quite capable of crocheting things herself, but she’s very very lazy. Over two years ago she promised to make afghans for her two grandchildren (boy and girl), but hasn’t yet started them. I hit a slow spell recently and offered to make an afghan for her granddaughter, because it was a pattern I wanted to make. I’ve been working hard on the afghan for six weeks and am about 2/3 done.

Today I mentioned my progress to Doris, and her response was “Grandson is going to want to know where his is”.

A lot of not-so-ehell-approved responses came to mind, but I said nothing because I want to watch the progression of manipulative hints and sense of entitlement that follow before I agree to make an afghan for the grandson – which I intend to do because I want to.

But she doesn’t need to know that for a while.

Logged

It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

Mention CASH for your trouble - or at least meeting her at a restaurant for dinner at her expense for you to turn over each of the afghans to her.

Note - no place with a "dollar menu" qualifies. Someplace a little nicer in exchange for what you're doing for her....Snarky suggests embroidering your name and the year in one corner to show who really made it. But that would be up to you....

Mention CASH for your trouble - or at least meeting her at a restaurant for dinner at her expense for you to turn over each of the afghans to her.

Note - no place with a "dollar menu" qualifies. Someplace a little nicer in exchange for what you're doing for her....Snarky suggests embroidering your name and the year in one corner to show who really made it. But that would be up to you....

I’ve seen this one coming, but have been waiting to see what form it would take.

I know Doris from a crochet class, and she’s quite capable of crocheting things herself, but she’s very very lazy. Over two years ago she promised to make afghans for her two grandchildren (boy and girl), but hasn’t yet started them. I hit a slow spell recently and offered to make an afghan for her granddaughter, because it was a pattern I wanted to make. I’ve been working hard on the afghan for six weeks and am about 2/3 done.

Today I mentioned my progress to Doris, and her response was “Grandson is going to want to know where his is”.

A lot of not-so-ehell-approved responses came to mind, but I said nothing because I want to watch the progression of manipulative hints and sense of entitlement that follow before I agree to make an afghan for the grandson – which I intend to do because I want to.

But she doesn’t need to know that for a while.

"Probably! Youre going to have to work quickly to get that done at the same time as mine!"

A friend has crocheted a scarf for me. She made one for herself, I gave it hearty compliments and she offered to make one for me in whatever colors I'd like. I bought the yarn and she's done it already, in about 2-3 hours as she said she was bored

I'll see her this week and I want to pay her for her efforts. However, she is one of those people that tries never to accept money for anything (for example, she bought me an ice cream the other day because I didn't have the right change and almost refused to take the money when I tried to pay her back, despite me clearly owing the money!) So, I can't ask her how much she would charge because she would almost certainly refuse to tell me.

Menley, I'm going to tell you what my mother and grandmother taught me about accepting things from people.

Offer once to pay. If friend says no, you can say "Are you sure?" and offer again. If friend says no again, let it go and pay her back some other way sometime.

To be honest, if someone bought the yarn for me to make them something and didn't rush me on it, I'd consider that payment enough and wouldn't accept anything else from them either, especially if I was bored enough to finish it that quickly. Don't worry about paying back your friend now, just make sure you treat her for lunch sometime in the future, or something equally nice.

A friend has crocheted a scarf for me. She made one for herself, I gave it hearty compliments and she offered to make one for me in whatever colors I'd like. I bought the yarn and she's done it already, in about 2-3 hours as she said she was bored

I'll see her this week and I want to pay her for her efforts. However, she is one of those people that tries never to accept money for anything (for example, she bought me an ice cream the other day because I didn't have the right change and almost refused to take the money when I tried to pay her back, despite me clearly owing the money!) So, I can't ask her how much she would charge because she would almost certainly refuse to tell me.

If you pay her, you are turning this from a nice gift into a commercial transaction. Between two people who are acquaintances only, that's appropriate, but I don't think it is here.

I'd suggest getting her a gift such as a nice box of chocolates or bottle of wine (assuming she eats sweets/drinks).

Modified because I can spell if I try.

This.At some point, when you insist on paying for a gift, it feels like rejection of the gift.And there's the difference in what it's worth/what someone would pay/etc.

I mean, I just charged someone $20 to do a calligraphy project for them. If someone off the street had asked, i probably would have said $100. The 'worth' is about $4 worth of materials and 7 hours of my time--I'm willing to give that to a friend, no charge. I'm not willing to sell that to just anyone.

I was going to suggest the lunch thing, too. A friend of mine asked me to repair her husband's afghan that was made by his blind grandmother. She was going to pay me. I suggested we go to a restaurant that we both love for lunch, on her, and call it good. So that's what we did.

Logged

After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice: If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.