Very nicely done. The word "haave" could be translated ranging from "rêve, idéal, souhait, désir, aspiration" or even "utopie" if you want to exagerate. In the second line, I just wanted to see if I could somehow put the verb in the end. In order to do so, the direction of action would be reversed to make it sound better. But I failed . "En" used in "il en vient" conveys a meaning of origin, but I get it: that's a verb of mouvement, "écrire" is not. I would rework the line with "mon Créateur" by placing "chez toi" in the beginning so that would be easier to say. Am I right? Maybe the adjective "propre" becomes inecessary with the "se créer" which I find an excellent suggestion.

The word "haave" could be translated ranging from "rêve, idéal, souhait, désir, aspiration" or even "utopie" if you want to exagerate.

Then I go for rêve; French doesn't have a proper equivalent to haave, I'm afraid

gangymar şöyle yazdı:

In the second line, I just wanted to see if I could somehow put the verb in the end. In order to do so, the direction of action would be reversed to make it sound better. But I failed

If you really want the verb to be in the end of the sentence, then you can put it this way:Nulle petitesse en-dessous des astres je ne sentais
Or En-dessous des astres nulle petitesse je ne sentais
But it sounds somewhat scriptural or alike to Master Yoda's language, if you know what I mean lol It's okay when it comes to a poetic text

gangymar şöyle yazdı:

I would rework the line with "mon Créateur" by placing "chez toi" in the beginning so that would be easier to say. Am I right

I don't know, either way sounds unusual in French, but it's probably the only way to express it.

gangymar şöyle yazdı:

Maybe the adjective "propre" becomes inecessary with the "se créer" which I find an excellent suggestion.

Very good point, I didn't realize propre became cumbersome after se créer. As a result, yes you should remove propre

Concerning the word "haave", my little dictionary gives also "chimère" or "fantasme", which I find very inappropriate here. In countrary, it doesn't give "idéal, souhait, désir". They are rather my interpretation. Furthemore, I consider that a dictionary is a tool to give me some ideas and not any ready answers. I feel a little unconfortable to remove "idéaux" and to replace it with a word like "rêve", which makes me think of two other words in Finnish : "uni" and "unelma" ; but actually there seems no to be any better alternative.

I have to admit, this sentence gave me a hard time, but finally the best way to put it is:Mon Créateur, laisse ma venue vers Toi faire de moi ce que mon enfant imagine
It'd be difficult for me to find a better option... I hope it meets your expectations.

i like your title much better than i like mine... but then again, i am neither native french, nor native finnish... i am just studying those languages.. i will keep my title nonetheless, for it wouldn't be polite to just copy it from you, it feels like cheating. i love the way you justified your choices by the way!

i like your title much better than i like mine... but then again, i am neither native french, nor native finnish... i am just studying those languages.. i will keep my title nonetheless, for it wouldn't be polite to just copy it from you, it feels like cheating. i love the way you justified your choices by the way!

Thank you very much. There is not one right way, I think. And we have to thank maëlstrom, too.