When it comes to parenting, the ‘Path to Better’ always includes being present with your children.”
~Sarah Lawrence

Tonight’s guest fancies herself the Mistress of Madness, not because she’s crazy (like us), but because she delves into it as part of her mission. She is currently working on a podcast called Between Mundane and Madness that explores all the little moments where anxiety rears its ugly head. I met her at a speaker’s event where she wowed the crowd in less than five minutes. She is a fellow Toastmaster, professional speaker, and blogger. As busy crazy ladies, we had an instant rapport, and I am thrilled to bring her onto CounterCultureWISE to learn more about her and what she has on the horizon.

Catching up

Mélanie

Proof of the power of intention and the Law of Attraction…Melanie has been wanting a new Kia Soul for years, particularly an Alien Green one. For 4 years, she had had a picture of it on her dreamboards and even her “dreamcup.” On Friday, we used our tax return to make a down payment, and Melanie was finally able to drive her dream car off the lot. Set your intentions, and stay focused. Never give up!

Jim

Another key to success is acknowledging what you DON’T want, and then turning your back on it. Jim finished his training at Barclays, and got an additional award for scoring 100% on his exam! This was after a tumultuous 3 years at an employer that simply wasn’t a good match for him. Jim feels that he is going to be very successful here. Now that he is about to settle into his work routine, he is preparing to once again get involved in Shakespeare in the Classroom. More on that soon!

Rants and Rabbit holes

We caught the film A Wrinkle in Time today. Great movie with an inspiring message. We both liked the story and the acting, especially the brother and sister. (Deric McCabe and Storm Reid have MAJOR careers ahead.) The photography was occasionally jarring, but that was a minor distraction. Overall a thought provoking and beautiful film.

Dog Abby

I recently turned 50 and I’m starting to feel like my life is over. My husband passed away last year, I’ve been on my own, and it’s given me more time to reflect. Is there life after 50?

Signed,

Old in Omaha

Dear Puppy,

I just turned 11 human years on St. Patrick’s Day. Mom calls me an old lady. She says that I am 67 in “dog years,” but I still swim, fetch, and feel like a puppy myself. Dad says that he married mom when he was almost 50, so you are just getting started!

Mom told me a story about her grandma. She decided that, even though women did not typically get advanced degrees in her days, she wanted to get her Masters. So, when she was approaching 60 and already had a long career as a school music teacher, she finished her Masters. Why? Because she wanted to, and it made her happy. She also inspired a lot of younger women to do it, too. What makes you happy? How can you inspire others to be happy, too?

Mom tells a story in her book, Get Over It & Get Started, about how she had dreams but she felt she was not worthy. She had not given up, though, so even in her darkest hour, she still held on to those dreams. Instead of giving up, she worked her tail off. (It’s true — mom literally does not have a tail!) She has since published several books and travelled all over the world because of her speeches. Mom said to tell you that she is almost 50, too, and she did not even start college until she was 36.

I am so sorry about your husband, I understand how it is really hard to go on when someone you love goes away forever. I remember a couple of years ago when my kitty, Jr. Barnes, got sick and did not come home again. We all missed him very much. We still have pictures of him and talk about him a lot. We can never replace him, and we do not want to. It took a while, but now we use his memory as a way of feeling good, not bad.

My first dad disappeared after mom got hurt and we moved. I never saw him again, and it made me sad, but my dad, Jim, has been around much longer and he loves me as if he had been there all along. He sings me songs and takes me on car rides and gives me lots of treats. I am glad that both mom and I gave him a chance, because he has been awesome. We never would have met him at all if mom had not picked herself up and given other people a chance.

I have a book named, “Nose-to-Nose Networking.” Well, mom wrote it, but it has lots of pictures of me and stories about me. One of the things she talks about in her speeches and workshops is how to make friends and build networks. Mom has a lot of friends through Toastmasters and her improv group. Dad made a lot of friends through theater and the Eagles club. I make friends at the park by talking to anyone I meet and sometimes sharing my tennis balls with them. Maybe you just need to get out and play fetch once in while!

As a real old lady, I can tell you that there is a lot of life left for you! Each day, enjoy a swim in cold water, a roll in warm grass, and the people who love you. Go out and explore new places, and make sure you do what you love as much as you can.

I’m about to lose a bunch of “friends” because…feelings over logic… If you cannot be rational, good riddance. I’ve already been called a racist, homophobic, misogynistic nazi, so it’s only uphill from there. Those who know me, know better. Those who don’t know me and judge anyway don’t matter.

My heart is broken. I have cried for days for the senseless loss of precious children at the hands of a maniac. I have not yet gotten over the October tragedy (remember, I can practically reach out and touch Mandalay Bay from my front yard.) I want solutions. So far, all I’ve seen is uneducated speculation, idiocy, and “muh feelings.” Main-stream media is feeding irrational fears and, often, flat-out lying! Meanwhile, there are sides but no solutions. What the living hell?

Here is what the kids who walked out took time off of school for today:

2. Require universal background checks before gun sales.
Done. National Instant Criminal Background Check System (NICS) — Mandated by the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act of 1993 and launched by the FBI on November 30, 1998

3. Pass a gun violence restraining order law that would allow courts to disarm people who display warning signs of violent behavior.

Done. Oh, and the “trade show loophole” is a myth, always has been.

Reasons you can be denied from purchasing a gun (since 1993):
Convicted of a felony
Convicted in any court of a crime which is punishable by a term of more than one year or a misdemeanor punishable by more than two years. This is the number one reason why requests for firearm transfers are denied.
Indicted for a crime punishable by more than one year
A fugitive from justice
A user of illegal drugs or an addict
Involuntarily committed to a mental institution
An illegal alien
Dishonorably discharged from the armed forces
Renounced your U.S. citizenship
Subject to a restraining order for threatening a family member
Convicted of domestic violence
Under an indictment, but not convicted, of a crime carrying a possible year-long prison sentence

***When I was battered and hospitalized, I filed a restraining order which included a request that my soon-to-be ex-husband be disarmed both because he threatened MY life and HIS OWN (suicide was his go-to control tactic.) My request was categorically denied by the Olympia, WA PD for no reason other than “he owns the property.” This was in DIRECT VIOLATION of actual law. SO…laws helped…***

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Let’s play the “ban all guns game.” Seriously, let’s do it. It works so very well, and it makes you feel good. Ban ’em all, even muskets and BB guns. We have a great history of things like this working. For instance, EVERYBODY stopped drinking in 1920 and there was positively no way to get alcohol anywhere. When Nixon declared a war on drugs, all addictions immediately stopped and we’ve had no issues with that or cartels ever since. No child is in danger of being sexually violated, ever.

Come on! We don’t even enforce our own immigration laws.

(hint: criminals, by definition, do not give a shit about laws)

There’s an old proverb, “When marriage is banned, only outlaws will have in-laws.” You can’t stop the black market anymore than you can stop stupid…obviously…

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Things that will ACTUALLY prevent these horrific events:

STOP MEDICATING CHILDREN!!!! 100% were on meds, most for ADD

Pay attention to your damn kids. Most of these kids were bullied, neglected, and/or came from single-parent households (or the foster program)

#bangunfreezones (it’s making our children fish in a barrel, with an inviting sign)

Enforce the laws already in place

Pay attention to social media and …oh, I don’t know… people who call the FBI and say that they want to be a school shooter

If you are afraid of the teachers being allowed to carry because of their mental state, why the HELL do you allow them to shape young minds at all? These crazies should be fired. Unions be damned

Do. Not. Disarm. The. Good. Guys.

Educate yourselves. Automatic guns have been banned for decades (1920s). Just because it’s black and scary-looking does not mean it is an “assault rifle.” In fact, it was a (sad) blessing that this nutjob chose an AR-15, as he had less range and mobility and therefore hit fewer victims. Disgusting, but true

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So…kids are being celebrated for walking out of institutions of education to protest something they are *NOT* educated about. Funny, that.

They are not solving the problem. They are propagating it. They cannot even see the irony of using one Constitutional right to try to deny another.

We are told things that are awful and that that the world is going to hell in a handbasket. We don’t know that. I don’t see that. They only tell us that because it sells.”
~J.D. Smith

We met tonight’s guest about 5 years ago. He shares the same Toastmasters club as my wife, Powerhouse Pros. He and I have worked on a couple of acting projects together, as well. He is a retired dentist, a dedicated toastmaster, a great comic actor, and one of my favorite public speakers. He is also a patriot, dedicated to preserving the freedoms that make this country great. We are honored to call this great man our friend.

JD reads – a LOT. He shares some of his insights about our world, our kids, and what may be on the horizon.

Also, he’s in a Nicolas Cage movie, “The Trust” — you can see him in minute 27.

Catching up

Jim

Jim is wrapping his training at Barclays this coming week. He was the first in his class to finish the exam, and got 100%! He is already helping customers over the phone

He faces a board review this week (as everyone in his class is), where he will be given feedback on his work so far. His class is buddying up with some of the top agents this week, and they will all be treated to lunch at Claim Jumper!

On the artistic front, Jim has some ideas for Episode 2 of Fontana.

Mélanie

Melanie has been hard at work with her shopping assignments and tutoring. We both went to see our friend and former guest, the amazing Tony Arias in concert…what a performer! It was a classic Vegas show in an era where very few such shows still exist…he is an all around great entertainer. Please check out his website here.

Good news

The first bit of good news…our listener-ship is growing! Word of mouth, advertising on Facebook, Minds, and Twitter, and a site called (enter name here-thanks!) where some of our guests have been advertised as being on our show have all added to our success! Thank you. Keep spreading the word, and consider making a purchase form our store or donating to our beer fund. (Note: after tonight’s show, Melanie started a Patreon account for our show. Please check it out! Thanks!)

Rants and Rabbit holes

Melanie gave a passionate defense of our country’s freedom of speech, and we both agree that it is being slowly taken away from us, largely by the same people who had to fight so hard to be heard themselves so many years ago. We then presented our newest sketch, taking another jab at the FBI for once again screwing up. In this case, they had paid Geek Squad employees to provide customer data. This stuff is starting to write itself, gang.

Dog Abby

A listener is torn between leaving a job at a company they no longer like and taking their offer for a promotion and a raise. Read Abby’s answer here.

Our guest tonight is a star here in Las Vegas, most known for his amazing voice, which not only graces many stages while he is crooning to the likes of Engelbert Humperdink and Elvis, but also as the voice of the Las Vegas Monorail. His personality is as big as his heart, and we are excited to welcome Tony Arias to CounterCultureWISE!

Not only did we get to share Tony with our audience, we got to see him in his element at his show the following week. If you have not seen one of Tony’s shows, YOU ARE MISSING OUT!! Tony is fun, and man, does he have the pipes! Be sure to follow him and get yourself to his next show. He’s as sweet as he is talented.

Catching up

March 2nd was our 5th Anniversary! Coincidentally, this weekend found us in Pahrump, where we were living at the time we got married! We celebrated by grabbing a shot of Southern Comfort at a biker bar halfway between Vegas and “Pahrumpistan,” the same one where we grabbed a SoCo shot on the night of our Vegas wedding. We also spent time at the Sanders Family Winery (Yes, Nevada has wineries-very good ones, in fact). Once we got home, we watched SLAP SHOT-Melanie’s first time seeing it.

Jim

Jim has been taking much better care of his health, and has taken full charge of his diabetes treatment. He had a minor scare when his blood sugar ran way below range (never thought THAT would happen!). He called his doctor, and spoke with a nurse who agreed with Jim that he should stop taking the Glipizide and continue taking Metformin. Success! His blood sugar is now in range on a regular basis, and he feels great.

Mélanie

We were in Pahrump for Melanie to compete in the Toastmasters Area Table Topics Contest. The event was held at Carmelo’s Bistro in Pahrump, a great Italian restaurant owned and operated by our friend Leo Blundo, who is running for Nye County Commissioner. He is scheduled to be a guest on our show soon. Oh, yeah, we almost forgot-Melanie won! She will be going to the next level contest in April.

Good news

Rants and Rabbit holes

In an attempt to normalize gender fluidity, gender activists are now teaching young children in the UK and Canada about genders that fall out of the normal spectrum of male, female, trans, and hermaphrodite. This has now spread to the US. In our attempt to say that children should be left alone to develop normally, we put together a sketch. We will be posting it in video form in the usual places soon.

I have been employed with the same company for over 5 years, and about a year ago I was promoted to the position of accounts manager. The company was recently bought out by a larger company. The new ownership’s philosophy and business practices are a reversal of many of the original company’s approaches, which I had always cherished. I am not alone in feeling this. Morale here is at an all-time low, and I don’t see it getting better soon.

Although I love my coworkers and the type of work I do, I decided to give my notice on Friday. (I have managed my money well, and I have enough money saved up to pay my bills for at least 6 months.) Just as I was about to do so, I was called into the office and was offered a promotion with a substantial raise. I was shocked, and told them I needed to think about it. They were surprised that I didn’t say yes immediately, but told me that I could let them know on Monday.

Abby, it’s now Sunday night, and I am still torn. This new position would grant me prestige and a comfortable income, but I think I would be much happier somewhere else, even if I wasn’t making as much money. I also have a spouse and a six-year-old child at home, so my decision will affect them as well. What do I tell them in the morning?

Merged Out in Memphis

Dear Merged,

We dogs live by a simple code: be happy! Unlike our human friends, we never force ourselves to be sad. We just do not know how, and I do not think I would like to learn. My heart feels happy most of the time, and mom says that is why I am living a long life. I turn 11 next week, so she must be right. I hear that is really old for a Golden Retriever.

The other day, dad talked to mom and me about the job he recently left. He was a manager there, and he liked it for a while, but then he realized that his employer’s main client was “immoral” and “capricious.” I gave my dad my best question eyebrows because I did not know what those words meant. He told me it meant that they did bad things and kept changing their minds about how they wanted things done. Dad said a lot of his coworkers had quit because they no longer felt good about the job and did not want to do it anymore. Many others had been fired for no good reason, so everybody was scared. After realizing that he could not do good in his manager job, dad stopped being a manager there and then began looking for a better job. He felt good when he could finally quit. He now has a job he likes, run by good people, and he plans to stay there for a long time.

Mom and dad say it is important to be happy, but it is also important to be responsible. It is good that you have money saved up in case of an emergency. It is also good that you are thinking about your family. Mom says that often grownups have to do things they do not like to do very much so that they can help those they love. She also says that it is always worth it.

You did not say what you actually do at your job, but you did say you liked the work. Mom said to consider the idea that becoming a manager would put you in a position where you could change the company from the inside and make it a better place, more like it was, or maybe even better.

When dad was offered his new job, he had to wait two whole months until they were ready for him to start. He continued to work at his old job to make sure he was doing his part to take care of us. Mom told him that it was OK to be unhappy as long as he was doing something about it. She says that to people all of the time, and even put it in her book, “Get Over It & Get Started.” So that is what dad did, he looked for something better while he did a good job at his old job.

Take the job and the raise. See what you can do to help others and yourself. If you still hate it, look for another job WHILE you are working at your new job. This way, you are moving forward, not sideways or backward. This will also let you hold onto the money you saved in case of a real emergency. You can even add to it with the higher amount of money you will be making.

Mom added one more thing, she said that it is always easier to get a new job when you already have a job.

When I was younger, I wanted to follow in my dad’s footsteps and become an engineer. My parents happily saved up to put me through school. But now that I am two years into university, I have discovered that I really have a passion and an aptitude for writing, and want to pursue that avenue instead. When I told my father that I was planning to change majors, he got upset with me. He implied that I had deceived him and my mom just to get into college on their dime. Abby, I had no such intentions, and I am very hurt. I know I would be a decent engineer, and would probably make more money doing so. Should I abandon my plans, and stick to engineering?

Concerned in College

Dear Concerned,

Today mom and dad took me to my favorite park in Las Vegas. It has a large lake with ducks and geese, lots of walking trails, and lots of grass for rolling around in. Mom and dad usually let me go without a leash because I normally behave around other dogs and people. But it had been a long time since I had been to this park, so I got really excited and did not listen when dad called me. He put me on the leash, and most of the rest of our time at the park, I had to stay on the leash. Dad did not stay mad for very long, though. When we got back in the car, he called me a good doggie and I still got a treat when we got home.

Just like my dad being upset, it is possible that your dad will only be angry for a while. After all, most moms and dads want their children to be happy.

My mom and dad both say that successful people are the ones who are the most passionate about what they are doing. It looks like you are not so passionate about engineering. You said you knew you would be a decent engineer, but that does not mean you would be happy doing it. If your true passion is for writing, then you should pursue it — with the understanding that passion is not all that you need. As much as I would like to be a Frisbee dog, I am bad at catching things in the air. I can be passionate about it, but I also need to be talented at it. Whether you are an engineer or a writer, you will need the talent on top of the drive and passion to succeed.

Here is a third way to consider. If you truly believe that you would make a decent engineer, you can finish your engineering education and then continue to take writing courses while you are working in your new field. You may even find that your niche is writing about engineering. Many successful writers have worked other jobs while doing what dad calls “moonlighting,” or writing as a second job when not at their main job. That is what mom did after she got a degree in accounting. It turns out that mom was good at accounting, but really hated it. She was also good at writing, but her parents discouraged her from pursuing it when she was younger, much like your parents are doing to you. Mom thinks it is funny that she has now made more money writing and speaking than she ever did as an accountant. Grandma even ended up being proud of her, which was cool.

You can always find a way to pay your parents back the money if that is really important to them. No matter what, in the end, you need to do what makes you feel most secure and happy. Talk to your mom and dad and be respectful and loving. They will do the same for you.