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For those of you who don't already know me from this space, I'm Christine's friend who helped my friends (a lesbian couple) have two babies (Lars and Oskar). I've written how we're a funny little family (I spend a day or so a week with them), but that one day I still think I'd like kids in a more conventional format. When I last wrote, I had gotten back together with my ex-fiancee; now I'm sad to report that our old problems got the best of us, and again I find myself single--though still hopeful.

This time I want to tell you about another unforeseen eventuality of having kids with your lesbian friends: the difficulty of filling out certain rather important questionnaires, namely, ones that might help you get a date. As the onetime editor-in-chief of Nerve.com, I still had some free credits left on their personals website, so I recently re-posted my profile. They've changed the information you need to provide, and one of the new things is: Have kids? Uh oh, I thought. Do and I don't. Long story. Kind of complicated. Not exactly something I can explain by checking a box. What to do?

Now, keep in mind that they also have a relationship-status question, and I answered "single" which, in their parlance, means "never married" (if you're divorced, you're supposed to say so). Taking that into account, things get dicey really fast. If I say, yes, I have kids, it implies that I had them out of wedlock, may or may not be a deadbeat, and am probably quite accomplished at dodging shotgun blasts. Alternately, it leaves open the possibility that I was lying about being unmarried--which isn't so savory in itself. Of course we often feel hemmed in by the limitations in forms, but this seemed pretty extreme.

I decided I'd better say "No" kids for the time being, then explain later once I knew the person. Fine, call me a chicken.

The results, however, have been surprisingly great. I can't say there's been a large data sample, but the two women that I've spoken to at any length both responded really well when I told them I have two sons. In each case, I said it before we'd even gone on a date (hopefully that makes me a little less yellow), and both times they seemed to think it was a pretty great thing that I had done. Now, it's certainly easier to say that when you're just emailing with a stranger, and maybe if we get to the point of wanting our own kids it will be a lot harder. But for now it seems that my hope that Mrs. Right would understand--even approve--might not be too far-fetched. And once again I have to conclude, women really are amazing. You continue to impress me, again and again, and every time I wonder if doing what I think is right is really the best choice, I feel the support of the women in my life and I know I'm on the right track. Just wanted to say thanks.

In addition to procreating, Jack Murnighan is finishing a book called Beowulf on the Beach: How To Read the Classics for Pleasure due out in June 2009. He teaches writing at The University of the Arts and lives in New York City.