because one must blog under a twee statement

Helmet hair

Helmet hair has to come in top three MOST FRUSTRATING things about being a cyclist (that, the general dicing with death and perspiration).

I must have a haircut soon as I’m resembling a rag doll and this time I am dedicating the next few weeks of my life to making it look respectable despite the handicap of a helmet. I love my hair, it’s bright red and fringed and it makes me feel like me, so scraping it all back in a practical manner as I have been doing of late, is woefully miserable.

Here is what I have learnt thus far:

1. Under your hair is your rather useful brain so no matter what the consequence on your barnet, it’s not worth skipping its protection. Wear a helmet. After once getting concussion while wearing one, I cannot stress this enough. If I had been bare-headed I would probably be dead.

2. Beware of hair spray. Setting your hair into position before you put your helmet on may seem like a good idea but beware! The indentations of a helmet on a carefully set fringe are not a good look. You will get glances of pity from all around you.

3. When it rains. Wrap a thin scarf around your head, under the helmet. This should keep your locks dry (apart from the sweat, which is sadly unavoidable). Though try not to pick that cheap, bright blue one you bought in Thailand as it may run and give you blue hair and a blue face. Not that it’s ever happened to me…

Always have a stash

4. Wet hair + helmet = cold head. ’nuff said.

5. Keep an emergency brush and curby grips at work. Work on your speed at twisting your hair into an intentional bird’s nest that you can pretend was by design.

6. Straighten it the night before. Much like festival-hair, this works a treat.

If all else fails, investigate your work showers and find somewhere to plug in hair straighteners. Don’t do it at your desk, it’s not a good look.