Mum's dose of reality puts Tamou on track

Sport columnist

Facing facts: James Tamou knows he has disappointed his mother, Pip. Photo: Matt King

It was a mum's stern words that gave NSW back their most intimidating forward, James Tamou, and allowed Blues fans to dream of a drought-ending victory on Wednesday night. ''James was in tears when I told him a few home truths,'' said Pip Tamou, mother of the Blues prop.

Tamou is the Blues star who decided to drive three other people around at the end of a big night. He was busted four times over the limit and was not licensed. ''I can't defend my decision and I can never make an excuse for it, but it's a decision I made and I have to live with it,'' Tamou said.

''The hardest thing about what I went through was dealing with my family and easily the worst part of that was telling my mum what I had done. I know what expectations she has for me, and I know I let a lot of people down. But I really let her down more than anyone and I found that hard to live with.''

Pip has Crohn's disease and has been in pain all her life. James provides her with joy and relief from her daily battle.

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''I made it very clear to him that if I was going to have to bury him because of his stupidity, I would be buried beside him. I told him that straight,'' Pip said. ''I had to tell him how badly it hurt me and how badly his actions impacted on me and that is the truth. I had to get the message through to him that if he killed himself through his actions then he would be killing me as well.

''Normally when I have a chat to James he can fob it off a little bit, saying 'yeah, yeah,' and I can see in his eyes that not everything is being absorbed by him.

''When we had this chat all I could see there were tears in his eyes. I knew he was comprehending and processing everything that I was saying. He not only endangered himself, but he could have done something to other people and families that he could have never forgiven himself for doing. I don't think he thought about what he was doing for a second and I hope he never does anything similar again.''

Tamou said he didn't have an alcohol problem. ''I didn't have a drink from that night until I came into Origin camp,'' he said. ''I really believe I can have a night out and a couple of drinks without getting too silly.''

His mum said Tamou was getting professional help and she didn't necessarily agree with his use of alcohol. ''When James goes out it can't just be a good night; he's got to make sure everybody around him has a great night,'' she said. ''I've told him that he has to learn that he doesn't have to please everybody all the time and that's it is OK to go home after he has a couple of drinks.

''He really has to learn when enough is enough and I'm hoping that's what seeing a psychologist can do for him because I am not sure I can go through this again.''

''When I spoke to Jimmy he said he has to learn when he can stop. He knows he can make the wrong decisions about a lot of things when he is drinking. I've told him when he goes to parties he doesn't have to party hard. He really listened to me and I am convinced the message is getting through.''

Pip said it was time James grew up. ''He is going to be a dad for the first time in five weeks,'' she said. ''If that's not responsibility, I don't know what is. He has brought a house, he's got obligations and now he has to know when to say no to say his friends and that it is OK to say no to them. Having a baby is bringing him closer to [his partner] Brittany.''

Tamou said he had struggled mentally to deal with what he has done. ''I'm just lucky I didn't hurt anyone. I hope my stupidity serves as a lesson for other young footballers out there about the responsibility that you have to have when drinking alcohol. I learned the hard way, but it could have been even worse.

''I don't want anyone else to make a similar mistake to what I did. I was fortunate to be back in Origin and my way of saying sorry to anyone I hurt is to try and play the game of my life against Queensland in the third one. It will feel just like I am making my debut again and I know I owe a lot of people a good game.''

Shopping around

Former swimmer Stephanie Rice (right) must be admired for her quest to keep fit. However it appears she is having trouble settling on a personal trainer in Sydney. Rice has started with at least four well-known trainers and has moved on each time. It must be difficult to match the kind of training regimen she was getting through when at her peak as a swimmer.

Citizen Dave

NRL boss Dave Smith has quietly become an Australian citizen while handling one of the toughest jobs in sport. The Vaucluse resident took the oath a month or so ago. We can now be sure who he will be backing in all the big sporting contests.

Dragons cough up

The once-mighty Dragons have suddenly had to pay big dollars to attract players. Under Wayne Bennett, players were willing to join and stay for less money than they could have got at other clubs. That doesn't appear to be the case any more. This column understands that Gareth Widdop, the prize recruit from the Storm, will be getting $620,000 a season to play for St George Illawarra. Great money if you can get it. Knowing that, it is no wonder Dragons officials are already closely monitoring his health since his serious hip injury.

Wrong turn

There is growing concern at the NRL about the decisions its chief executive, Dave Smith, is making to alter the image of the game. What the NRL fails to understand is that league relies on the visual spectacle of collision for its appeal on television and commands huge money from broadcasters. Its punch-ups and shoulder charges are the exciting spin-offs of play that make the games so watchable. We know the arguments against but when the NRL becomes as flat and sterile as most rugby games, it will end up losing its mass appeal and hence its ability to command the big bucks from television broadcasters.

The great unknown

Ashes sensation Ashton Agar (right) may be unknown to a lot of Australians, but it is understood he received a lot of support from Justin Langer and Greg Chappell in his formative years. What is interesting is that Victorian cricket didn't rate him – that's why he ended up in Western Australia.

It's in the genes

Kiwi Daryl Halligan was a brilliant rugby league goal kicker, so it shouldn't surprise that his sporting skills have spilled into the next generation. The former Canterbury and Norths sharpshooter's daughter Bronte Halligan plays for the Northern Beaches Breakers water polo team and has been selected in the Australian junior women's team for the world championships. At 16, she is the youngest player in the squad. The world championships will be held next month in Greece.

Mr Popular

Here is an indication of how popular Sonny Bill Williams is – he has 267,000 followers on Twitter. The NRL has 110,000. If the power brokers can't see what marketing prowess he has, they are sillier than we think.

Danny Weidler is a Channel Nine reporter.

11 comments so far

Your constant marketing of sonny bill is just embarrassing.

Commenter

sonny who

Date and time

July 13, 2013, 8:50PM

agreed. Get off his D and move onAlmost as bad as the constant Bunnies love. Talk about jumping on a bandwagon

Commenter

Sweet cheeks

Date and time

July 14, 2013, 11:41PM

What a strange world we live in when one person is labelled a 'follower' of another. Isn't it kind of sad and pathetic that we think someone else's life is more interesting than our own? Think it's time to update my Facebook status from 'single' to 'unbearably boring'.

Commenter

Go figure

Date and time

July 14, 2013, 6:42AM

Danny, RL is already losing its mass appeal, just have a look at the pathetic crowds and the constantly fudged crowd figures.

Commenter

268

Date and time

July 14, 2013, 9:36AM

Another column, another SBW plug.

Commenter

iSniper

Date and time

July 14, 2013, 10:57AM

Hey Danny, can you mention SBW a bit higher in your collumn next week. The anticipation of having to wait until your last paragraph was too much for me to take and I had a heart attack.

Commenter

Phat Boy

Date and time

July 14, 2013, 10:59AM

Rugby Union all the way for me now. Ive given up watching Nrl because I cant sit through a whole game ( its just too boring ). Bring on the Super Rugby finals and Internationals!!

Commenter

Dan Virke

Date and time

July 14, 2013, 12:48PM

Good article Mr Weidler, and you were doing so well up until the last paragraph...but you just couldn't help yourself.

Agreed, SBW is an un-utilized marketing tool for the NRL - but to many he's a young guy who (whether he had good reasons or not), walked out on the NRL and his team/mates not too long ago...something many still see as un-Australian, and something he is more than capable of doing again.

We are a nation inspired not only by tremendous talent, but by a person who puts the team first - as good as SBW is, he still has that "mercenary" feel to him from a PR and marketing perspective....so to answer your point on when the NRL will begin using him more, probably when it's official he's actually staying one more year.

Commenter

Maverick1980

Date and time

July 14, 2013, 6:14PM

I'm afraid I'm slowly tiring of the NRL as well. It's not the loss of the shoulder charge or punch ups, it started well before that. Constant video replays to judge tries etc. nothing happens in the game without the video ref. I'm sick of the wrestling as well They're the real issues that need to be fixed.

Commenter

Peter

Location

Sydney

Date and time

July 14, 2013, 6:53PM

I don't have much of a problem with ye olde school fisticuffs in Origin, but you're dreaming if you think shoulder charges make the game more exciting. The reams of evidence now available on the dangers of post-concussion syndrome mean that now the first thought when you see a player get his bell rung is concern, rather than admiration for the tackler.