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‘The Greedy B’ – Slouch, Glasgow

First of all, please accept our apologies for the mobile phone photography in this edition of James vs. Burger. After all, we pride ourselves on high quality photography here, but on this ocassion we had stopped at Slouch for a couple of drinks with a friend and not intending to eat; however, after a couple of cocktails, hunger began to set in so we decided to order up some grub. After seeing the burger, we couldn’t not share it with you.

A friend of ours had told us about Slouch’s ‘Greedy B’ burger and from what he had said, it sounded perfect for this project. He said it was ‘true Man vs. Food stuff’ and being huge fans of that show, we knew we had to try it at some point. Since we were getting drinks and felt a little hungry anyway, we thought that it would be a perfect time to sample the Greedy B challenge. Being the wise one in our relationship, Pamela opted for a different burger from the menu, knowing that the Greedy B would be too much for her to handle. Our friend and I, however, knew what had to be done.

As the waitress brought our burgers to the table, she uttered the words ‘two greedy B’s?’ and as those words left her mouth, we looked at each other and thought ‘yes, that is what we have become’. As she put the plates down infront of us, our jaws dropped at the size of the burgers. Each Greedy B contains two massive homemade burgers, mozzerella and cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, red onion, two slices of bacon and spicy onion rings! If that wasn’t enough, the burger comes served with Slouch’s signature twice-cooked fries, coleslaw AND peppercorn sauce. Priced at £11.95, you are more than guranteed to get your money’s worth – if you can finish it, that is!

The mighty Greedy B burger

And finish it we did. Worryingly quickly too! The monstrous burger is a heart attack on a plate, but if you were ever going to die eating food, this is how you’d want to go out. We almost had to break our rule of not eating burgers with knives and forks, however somehow we managed to finish it off the old fashioned way. Despite it’s size, the presentation of the Greedy B was rather good and the whole thing actually stayed together well. Another thing we liked was how it was constructed. Rather than having all of the bacon and onion rings piled at the top, the Greedy B is presented as: salad, burger, cheese, bacon and a spicy onion ring and then repeated a second time. It’s all presented on a light toasted bun that, while not the best quality bun in the world (we’re generally not fans of the floured efforts), was toasted enough to hold everything together without breaking apart. The burger would almost certainly work even better on a different bun, but on this ocassion, the floured bun managed to hold everything – just.

The beef itself was well seasoned and had a slight peppery kick throughout. The two different types of cheese almost created a heavenly glue that helped hold everything together and complimented the peppered patties well. As I picked up my Greedy B, the juice from the burger along with the melted cheese spilled onto the white plate underneath. Not only were they tasty, but the patties were absolutely huge too. Slouch certainly don’t skimp on size – it’s a good old fashioned, down and dirty meat feast.

We had planned to go out for more cocktails that night, however after consuming the Greedy B, this Greedy B had no choice but to go home and lie down on the living room floor for several hours, until I was able to stand again.

Slouch itself is a very modern, laid back venue with a great selection of music. It’s a great place to enjoy a few beers in on a night out or even a lazy Sunday afternoon and with great burgers to boot, it is definitely one of the better venues on Bath street. Despite finishing the Greedy B, it’s definitely going to be too much for some to handle. The Greedy B is without a doubt one of the biggest burgers we’ve ever laid eyes on. Not so big that it’ll put you off burgers for the rest of your life, but big enough that you should probably make sure that it’s your only meal that day.

Are you up for the challenge?

Price: £11.95

SUMMARY + Huge burger, great value.+ Flavoursome beef.+ Well cooked.– A different bun would have worked better. – Will be too big for some to finish.

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