Puck Colby

This piece represents the opinion of The Bowdoin Orient editorial board.

December 4, 2015

Tomorrow’s the big one, friends: Bowdoin vs. Colby ice hockey in Sid Watson Arena. Easily the biggest sporting event on campus every year, Bowdoin-Colby takes a normally sedate student body and whips it into a frenzy for three periods of puck. But, like Thanksgiving dinner at Thorne or Ivies weekend, this iconic campus event requires careful planning. In the interest of providing the fans in the stands with a fun night and helping secure a win for the boys on the ice, the Orient’s editorial board humbly presents to you the ABCs of Bowdoin-Colby hockey.

Access

Were you one of the lucky souls that waited in the now-infamous line that snaked around Smith Union throughout the week and emerged victorious with a ticket? Kudos, your dedication to Bowdoin men’s hockey is a huge part of what makes the program the NESCAC powerhouse that it is. Don’t feel bad if you didn’t score a seat to the big game, though. There’s an unspoken understanding that those who show up to the game will find a way in. That said, don’t make the ushers’ jobs hard or awkward by begging them for admission. Have the courtesy to bring a homemade ticket or just dart past them inconspicuously.

Booze

It’s going to be tempting to drink all day in preparation for the game, because that is an awesome thing to do if you’re 21 years old. Don’t darty too hard, though—there’s nothing worse than passing out at 6 p.m. and not even making it to the game. And don’t pregame intensely directly before the game, either. The bleachers will be packed and you’ll be uncomfortable. Drink in moderation before the game, and save turn up o’clock for immediately after the boys get the W. As hockey legend Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.”

Chants and Chirps

The best anti-Colby chants, ranked:

1. “UMaine-Waterville”2. “Mules are sterile”3. “Safety school”

These are the essentials, the classic war cries shouted by generations of Bowdoin students. They will be chanted, and they will be chanted often. But don’t hesitate to take things a step further. Scan the Colby men’s hockey roster and put some names into Google. Does the goalie speak Russian and French? Yup—shout some things at him in Russian and French! Does the leading scorer have an embarrassing Vine account that hasn’t been updated in two years? He sure does! Please loudly make reference to it while he’s on the ice. It’s not about insulting the opposition—in fact, that should be avoided. The best chirps are obscure, innocuous references to the players’ lives.

If you’ve ever felt envy while watching a student section go wild at a big-time college sporting event, tomorrow night is your chance to live that life. The Mules are coming to town, and every self-respecting Polar Bear should be present to defend the hallowed grounds of Watson Arena. It’s time for Bowdoin-Colby hockey.