They're Calling Me

The dead, that is. My whole family. My cousin who faded into schizophrenia. My best friend who is crippled by anxiety. I'm the sole survivor of all of this. And I'm trying to reinvent my life. But it's such a struggle.

More people will fall into oblivion. It's not so bad if I just let go. My cousin and I were close. He kept threatening to kill himself, and now I don't know what happened to him. He disappeared from my life two years ago. Sometimes, I feel I want to join him.

When it's in the family, it's not so bad. I could easily join him, because it's the family way to die. There's no sin in ruining yourself, making yourself obsolete. I face criticism, problems, dangers, threats every day. It's hard to keep afloat, but you already know that. My cousin could be at the bottom of the sea. I know it's quiet and peaceful down there. One day, I'll join him. All it takes is one push...

Hey Pit,
Do you hear voices from your relatives who you say are in your head? You might be skyzzo. Have they checked you for that? My new shrink thinks I am because I keep seeing things. He put me on a med that had me hallucenating. I didn't like that feeling at all.
I know I have made some snide remarks to you in the past. I apologize for that. We are all here for a reason. Please stay with us! You have a support system here. I hope you get to feeling better soon!!~Joseph~

Are you sure that you'll see them again after you die? Do you believe in life after life? Billions of people have died over the years, if there is life after life, do you actually think you'd see them?

If there is life after life, I can assure you any family member who loved you would want you to continue on with life and hope things get better.

Your wanting to join your departed loved ones is depression, I know I'm having the same impulses. You will never feel calm, eager or feel enjoyment again- that is the depression talking. I am feeling the same way.

We don't really want to die we just want the agony to end and nothing we do is working. Something will work, will make your thinking positive again and your life rewarding-even a joy. If we do die, we very well may just cease eternally, no one to rejoin and no reward in a heavenly afterlife.

What is certain is there are people who love us with their every fiber and their lives will descend into the same mental hell we are struggling through if we take our lives. Please let people know the danger you are in, even go in for a hospital stay if you feel very strongly you may make a suicide attempt.