Tanning Mom’s Music Video Is Finally Here!

To quote Amelia when she alerted me that Tanning Mom’s music video for her new single, “It’s Tan Mom,” was available for viewing: “Christmas has come early.” I don’t celebrate Christmas because I’m a Jew. But this video is what I would ask for if I made a Christmas list. I’ve dreamed of it. I’ve envisioned it in my mind. I’ve laid awake at night, too excited to sleep wondering what kind of performance Patty would turn out. Would she dance? Would she wear costumes? Would we get to see her modeling a bikini again? Would co-stars from her gay porn be in it?

As is often the case with the best things in life, this video is better than anything I could have imagined. It has all the elements of great art. Tanning Mom. Check. Wigs. Check. Psychedelic effects. Check. Token gays. Check. Awkward dancing. Check. Feeling up of boobs. Check. Bikinis. Check. Gratuitous use of suntan lotion. Check.