ARTICLES

Voivod

I am going to tell you a true story. It was about a week before Ozzfest 2003, and my friend Rob Thompson (Ghost Story, Thompson Roulette) told me he was going to Ozzfest. I told him cool, and I asked him who he was going to go see-and he said, you know that band Voivod. They are really GOOD. Marilyn, Ozzy, and Voivod-that’s who I am going to see. I just wish they were first stage so I didn’t have to get there so fucking early. I was hot to see Voivod because of Jason Newsted, and Rob said that Metallica hasn’t had a great bassist since Cliff Burton died, but the newest guys sucks most of all and that Metallica would have been better off trying to keep Newsted (hrmmm, this in no way diminished my love for Newsted), but Newsted was a 1000 times better in Voivod. –This had me intrigued for a couple of reasons. Rob is an excellent musician and I respect his opinion, and I totally loved Newsted in Metallica. I could not grab a hold of him being in any other band-ever, let alone being BETTER in another band. –Rob was right. I liked Newsted live, and dug the fucking shit out of Voivod-but the Metallica freak in me didn’t want to fucking admit that Voivod was better this time around, and Newsted was better off being in Voivod and EVEN BETTER in Voivod. –Goddamn those fucking Canadians in Voivod, they caused a crisis in my metal loving soul. I listened to the new Voivod cd, and then I listened to St. Anger by Metallica-and came to fucking Jesus about it. St. Anger is a WEAK fucking piece of work. It is ESPECIALLY weak when you play it back to back with the Voivod cd. –This gave me fucking chest pains, because I have LOVED Metallica for YEARS. I even sat through Limp Fucking Bizkit (which I hate) to see Metallica on the Summer Sanitarium tour. I even paid those Ticket Master prices to see them, because it was fucking Metallica. So this should tell you something now shouldn’t it?
I wanted to say Metallica Rules, go back to Metallica Jason-but I can’t.
Not when I listen to the Voivod cd.
The Voivod cd is a fucking superior piece of work put out on Newsted’s own Chophouse Records label. It is put together with the fucking metal head/lover of hard rock in mind. First off, it just SOUNDS fucking GREAT. It has that driving metal pulse that is like a SOOTHING balm to my ears that have been punished mercilessly by Eminem, Justin Timberlake, and Britney Spears. Dennis D’Amour’s larger than life guitar riffs are enough to make you believe that REAL music still exists in this world. He is really fucking excellent-why hasn’t anybody put HIM on the cover of Guitar Player? -Denis Belanger’s vocals are so fucking good that I can forgive him for my chest pains. Get this-he sings. He doesn’t growl-and he still sounds hard as hell. Younger singers could take a page from Denis. His vocals are distinct too, when you hear him you ARE NOT going to mistake him for anybody else, AND he has the good sense to stay in keys where he sounds good. I am hearing a lot of shit lately where singers try to go somewhere where they sound like shit-and then they record it and send it to me. Michel Langevin is just a regular Buddy Rich on those fucking drums-and he makes it sound so fucking easy. I really like drums that don’t sound forced-driven, fuck yeah-but not forced. –And MY (the rest of you have NO fucking say when it comes to him) Jason Newsted on bass is brilliant of course. I cannot be expected to be objective about his performance ever because I love him so much-but he sounds REALLY fucking great with Voivod on this cd. That bass is jazzy, bluesy, hard, rock, and metal. He is just out fucking standing on this cd. –The Voivod sound is hard, metal, bluesy, thrash, and rock…thank god there is no fucking rap in it. One guitar. One Bass. Drums. One vocalist. In other words, nobody is trying to overwhelm you with an army of Voivod. Nobody is trying to dazzle you with computer effects. It is just good fucking music to wash away all of that fucking rap and bubblegum pop. –So let’s do the fucking interpretation thing because I like to show off.

Gasmask Revival-Ever wonder what it would be like to be in the middle of one of those violent fucking protests? I’ll bet you would get the shit beat out of you and be scared to death. If it ever happens, I hope Snake is there to sing this one to you.

Facing Up-This I really love. I like to think of this one as the anti-hippie song. Love is not all we need in this fucking world. Is love going to save your ass when a meteor hits the Earth and the whole world comes to an end? Is love going to save your ass when your landlord is evicting you? Is love going to save your ass when somebody holds a gun to your head? Can you imagine saying, ‘you don’t have to shoot me-I love you.’ Right. Some things needs to be met head on.

Blame Us-A message to the future. We fucked up. We were forced to rule and destroy-our revolution failed. We didn’t care enough, and everything killed itself. You have no good air to breathe. You don’t know what a tree is. You heard of grass-but you thought it was a narcotic used in the 21st century. –Maybe if we had cared more, you could actually grow that grass.

Real Again? –Sometimes, everything feels like a dream when shit is going bad around you. You tuck your head in and you do what you are supposed to do-you keep up the good fight, but nothing feels real. If you could feel, it would hurt-and if it hurt too much, you wouldn’t be able to do your job. The plan would end.

Rebel Robot-Ahh, there is a little Matrix in everyone. You are a rebel, because we made you that way. You have no idea why anymore do you? You just know you have to do it. Is the dog talking to you again, you know, Sam the dog?

The Multiverse-I am all about the fucking epic song. I love the idea of time travel-so be fucking lost already. Travel in time. You get chances nobody else gets to see everything-just because you can’t tell anybody about it doesn’t mean that it’s not real. –And if you DO make it back, don’t tell anybody anyway, they will lock your fucking ass up on a psych ward. –So hey, I guess THAT solves your moral fucking dilemma.

I Don’t Wanna Wake Up-Did you ever wonder if your dreams were REALLY your waking life-and the life you thought you were awake in was your dreams? You could be asleep right now. I could be a part of your dream, so listen to me. You are going to send me a big, fat check.
A big, fat cashier’s check-made out to me. –Watch the silver coin. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Les Cigars Volants (The Flying Cigars)-Wouldn’t it be so fucking cool to take a ride on a UFO into outer space? Of course, no experimentation on this trip. No poking, slicing, or dicing. No alien DNA stuff-I have seen too many episodes of the X-Files.

Divine Sun-The sun is the one thing on the Earth that everyone has in common. If the sun were to fade away-we would all freeze to death. If it were to explode, we would all die. –If you can’t count on one other thing in your life, you can count on the sun rising, maybe. –But I can’t fucking imagine why somebody working graveyard shift in a factory would like it? Isn’t that what pushed Jeffrey Dahmer over the edge?

Reactor-Three Mile Island. Chernobyl. Guess what kids? Nuclear reactors can melt down, quickly. It isn’t just a joke on The Simpsons.
-Of course, that’s a little too simple. This also describes a nervous breakdown. It is ALMOST tax time.

Invisible Planet-I am a Star Trek freak too. It sure as hell took long enough for somebody to write a song about being put in stasis and traveling at the speed of light-oh the beautiful thing is that when you get back the Earth is gone. Totally Invisible. –Hey let’s try for two explanations. My favorite answer to this is that it describes a bad acid trip.

Strange and Ironic-I like strange and ironic together in any fucking context-it is like saying unexpected AND fucked up. Let’s look at an important lyric from this song- ‘while the Middle East burns and suffers, the lobby cheers and cracks in laughter.’ Yes, because they are making a mint off of pain. That is fucked up AND unexpected-at least by normal people. People with heart.

We Carry On-Carrion is the dead and rotting body of an animal. Listen to the cd-Snake is making the point over and over again that we are all dying slowly and so is the Earth. So this little bit of cuteness isn’t lost and proves Voivod is full of a bunch of smart guys. –No matter what, you get up and go. I like this idea better. Yes, the world is going to hell-but you have today.

This cd is outstanding. I love Newsted in Voivod, but who knows what his future will bring-because we are all just dead, rotting animals anyway! I am REALLY looking forward to the next Voivod album, and if you don’t have this one-GO GET IT. RUN. YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING LOVE IT. Trust me, you know you want it.