Transitioning from a Regular Life to one with an Invisible Illness

Tag Archives: Speak your mind

Music touches everyone’s life in so many different ways and really is such a personal thing. What means something to someone, doesn’t necessarily resonate with the next person. I can think of so many songs that bring me back to different places in time over my life like Paradise by the Dashboard Light or Oh What a Night, but these songs aren’t important in an epic way. They bring a smile to my face when I think back about High School and College days.

Three songs that mean something to me in an important way are:

From this Moment by Shania Twain

There’s a Hole in the World Tonight by the Eagles

I Want to See you Be Brave by Sara Bareilles

From This Moment was my wedding song and I still get chills when I think about dancing with my now Ex Husband for the first time in front of all our friends and family. The night was a magical night, unfortunately the marriage wasn’t. I believe that when I met my Ex, my life was truly going to begin and that I did belong right beside him for the rest of my life. But I guess after looking back, he didn’t feel the same way, as he gave up on the marriage.

There’s a Hole in the World Tonight is a sad and powerful song performed after the attack on the World Trade Center in NYC. I lived through that day and the horror in the coming days and there was also a hole in the ground and in my heart for a very long time. This song brings me back in a split second to that day and the weeks that followed. The smell in the air, the confetti and gray ash flying all over the place and the armed guards standing ready on most street corners.

I Want to See you Be Brave is a song I wrote about earlier on my Blog and I think it is a powerful song about saying what is on your mind and saying what you really feel. I won’t repeat my blog post but I do wonder why some people can say what’s on their mind and get their point across without being cruel and hurtful, while others just spit out whatever thoughts are in their head, without regards for the other persons feelings.

It seems odd that a collection of sounds and words gets immersed in our brain and becomes associated with such deep memories and emotions. Certain songs bring us immediately to tears, while others put a smile on our faces. And as I finish this post, Pharrell Williams “Happy” song is playing in the background and my feet are tapping away!!

I heard this song a while ago and didn’t really listen to the words until the other night, when I watched her perform the song on the People’s Choice Awards.

I know the meaning of this song is for people to speak their mind and say what they really feel, but why is it so easy for some people to speak their mind at the expense of others. I try to say what’s on my mind, most times, but never will say something without regards for the person I’m speaking with.

We can’t speak the same way or in the same tone with everyone. Each conversation has to be geared towards whom we are speaking with. For example: I wouldn’t speak the same with with my nephew as I would with my doctor. My consideration and respect for the other person is always present, but I consider my audience, just as if I was standing up and giving a speech.

However, not everyone in my life does that. In particular there is one person that doesn’t care who is around, she just has to say whatever is on her mind. She is an extremely emotional being and can not control her thoughts or her emotions or her words. Whatever and however she feels, she puts out there, no matter who she hurts. I have been stung many times by this person and I think I finally have had it over the holidays and am now done caring about her.

It is very hard to let a friend go, especially one that has been in your life for a long period of time, but being around this person or even speaking with this person, brings me no joy or satisfaction. I like to figure things out and I guess what’s so puzzling to me is how someone can just BE all the time and just only care about themselves at the expense of others. It drives me insane that a friend I care a lot about, could care less about my feelings.

I thought I was being BRAVE, when I had a conversation with my friend and told her how she hurt my feelings and that I would never treat her like she treated me and I asked for an apology and this took a lot of courage for me to have this conversation. The response was, “I have nothing to apologize for. I did nothing wrong.” For her not to even see my side of the story, after I explained my feelings, once again I was disregarded and that was the final straw for me.

Initially I was very angry, but anger gives the other person power over me and this so called friend, will not have any more power over me. Now I feel sad that I have invested time, energy (which I don’t have much of) and emotion on this person as they weren’t deserving of it.