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Wednesday, April 4, 2012

What is Matthew 18 and How Do Spiritual Abusers Misuse It to Manipulate and Control?

For the benefit of those who read here
who may not be familiar with the passage, the 18th Chapter
of the Book of Matthew in the New Testament deals with the themes of
sin, offense, and forgiveness. Verses 15 through 19 of the chapter
concern the words of Jesus' instructions about how to approach
another member of your local assembly or faith community after
they've sinned against you. It seems to echo the Sermon on the Mount
that Jesus gave wherein He encourages peace, tolerance, and
forgiveness among brothers in the faith (Matthew 5:21- 26).

Matthew, the author of the Gospel, one
of four books written about the life, teachings, and history of
Jesus, was a tax collector by trade. The material he presents
overlaps with the with the other three Gospels, but Matthew brings
his unique perspective which highlights Jesus as the Jewish Messiah,
speaking at length about the Kingdom of God and the Kingdom of
Heaven. And as a tax collector, his passages concerning forgiveness
are quite interesting, considering that the language concerning
forgiveness and the related but separate term of reconciliation
shares the same language used to describe financial matters.

The passage which helps to restore
relationships admonishes people who worship together as part of a
local community to deal directly and lovingly with one another when
matters of serious conflict arise. In many spiritually abusive
groups, Matthew chapter 18, verses 15-19 is used like a static
formula which is misapplied to manipulate and control others. Many
misapply it as something appropriate for minor offenses instead of
overt sin, as the consequences of the process can result in
excommunication from that local church. A person can be offended by
someone's behavior, but it may not necessarily constitute a sin,
particularly not one that carries such heavy consequences. In
aberrant Christian groups, the passage is used to rid the group of
“problem,” nonconformist members (who are not sinning) and
becomes a means by which clergy can micromanage if not threaten
church members. (It is used to manipulate and control behavior.)

Among very litigious groups, the
process is used to declare people non-Christian or never legitimate
Christians so that they can be at liberty to violate a directive of
the Apostle Paul who forbids Christians to sue other Christians, as
it is found in a letter he wrote to the Church at Corinth (1
Corinthians 6:1-11). This practice of threatening to
“de-Christianize” other professing Christians is actually common
among those who follow patriarchy. This type of abuse of the passage
has become popular enough that the saying that a person has been
“Matthew Eighteened” has become somewhat commonplace among
some Protestant Evangelical groups.

The entire passage appears here, and
the next few posts will address other aspects of the issue. The
specific section of interest has been highlighted below.

Matthew, Chapter 18

On Offenses, Sin,
Forgiveness, and Faith

(NKJV)

Who
Is the Greatest?

At that time the
disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who then is greatest in the
kingdom of heaven?”

Then Jesus called
a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said,
“Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as
little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.
Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the
greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little
child like this in My name receives Me.

Jesus
Warns of Offenses

“Whoever causes
one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better
for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned
in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of offenses!
For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense
comes!

“If your hand
or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It
is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than
having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire.
And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it
from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye,
rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire.

The Parable of
the Lost Sheep

“Take
heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to
you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who
is in heaven. For the Son of Man has come to save that which
was lost.

“What do you think? If a man has a hundred
sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine
and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying? And
if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you, he rejoices more over
that sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray.
Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that
one of these little ones should perish.

Dealing
with a Sinning Brother

“Moreover if your brother sins against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you,
you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take
with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three
witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses
to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to
hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax
collector.

“Assuredly, I
say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and
whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

“Again
I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything
that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For
where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in
the midst of them.”

The
Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

Then Peter came
to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me,
and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”

Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up
to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom
of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with
his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was
brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not
able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and
children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The
servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have
patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ Then the master of
that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him
the debt.

But that servant went out and found one of his
fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on
him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you
owe!’ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged
him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ And
he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay
the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done,
they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had
been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to
him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you
begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your
fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master
was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all
that was due to him.

“So My heavenly
Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not
forgive his brother his trespasses.”

Thought Reform @ Church?

Concerning Things Cultic within Biblical Christianity

Spiritual Abuse describes the process by which a religious authority misuses power and the trust of their flock in order to meet their own needs or the needs of the system.

Many evangelical churches with sound and solid Biblical doctrine can be considered aberrant or "cultic" when they practice techniques of manipulation and thought reform.

Please read here concerning the many different aspects of this type of manipulation and spiritual abuse including development, practice and recovery from the phenomenon.

The blog title emphasizes that Christians live under the unmerited favor of God (grace) as opposed to earning favor with God. The notable aberrant and cultic system established by Bill Gothard redefines grace as something merited through the good work of submission to authority. Grace cannot be earned through submission to any law and comes by unmerited favor through faith alone!