The Pampered Flock is going to get a little larger and a little less pampered.

Hubby says this episode of our bird-owning lives is like the plot twist in a reality television show–something deliberately messed up to keep the viewer interested.

Hurray?

So. Hubby is a teacher who knows a teacher who has a friend who knows a friend who has decided that she would rather put down her twenty-year-old African Grey and Amazon parrots rather than worry about either one “going to a bad home.”

Sure–let’s not call the local parrot rescue which SPECIALIZES in finding wonderful homes for challenging parrots. Better kill ’em. Only option.

I hate people. Which, coincidentally, is why I have parrots.

Anyway, we have a neighbor nearby who will take the Grey, and we’ve offered to take in the Amazon, a double-yellow headed girl.

Her species is also known as one of the “hot three” of the Amazon world, the ones who are the most unpredictable, the most excitable–in other words, the ones most likely to bite.

Amazons (in general) hate me.

The last one I encountered bit my finger so hard that my nail split in half and then fell off.

Having four birds from a variety of different backgrounds has taught me about quarantining new birds, positive reinforcement, slowly introducing new foods, and the general basics.

But we’ve never taken in a rehome who has been super abused, and I have no idea what I’m doing.

Websites along the inter-highway say things like, “Go slow! Sit by the cage; target training eventually!” And I get that in this big, abstract sort of way, but I kind of need like a daily step-by-step breakdown of what to do and what not to do.

Day 1: Take bird home. Give her a few hours to get acclimated. Go and sit next to her; do something quietly where she can observe you without feeling threatened. Make no demands. Play some soft music.

Days 2-Infinity, I have no idea what I’m doing.

We don’t know what we’ll do for the long run–guess it depends on whether we are the right fit for her or not, though five parrots is quite the house-full, especially in a home as small as ours.

Worst-case scenario, we’ll contact MDPR, then foster her until they find her a wonderful home. Best-case scenario, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us. Like Louie and Qtip… and Ozone on his good days. xD