Monday, March 8, 2010

Sticktoitiveness - the big one - Marriage

There are so many things in our lives that require good ol' sticktoitiveness.A comment on this topic made by my friend Jennifer AlLee really made me think.Here's what Jen has to say about sticktoitiveness.Jennifer AlLee says - The most important place for me to exercise sticktoitiveness is in my marriage. Like all couples, my husband and I have had our highs and we've had our lows. We also had a patch or two that was painfully rocky. But we know God put us together, so giving up has never been an option. We've learned we sometimes need to take a step back, especially when emotions are running high. He's pretty even tempered, but I can be kind of a hot-head. Over the years, I've gotten much better at sharing my frustrations and opinions in a calmer, less defensive way. And he's gotten better at listening and really hearing me. (Although he's still working on REMEMBERING what I've said!) Eighteen years later, we're stronger, and happier, than ever. Here's to sticking together for another eighteen and beyond!That sounds great, but the opposite of what so many of us do when we in the middle of something when tensions are running high - and that is to step back and take a deep breath, and then continue on when times are calmed down. Good advice. For anyone who says they have never had any rocky points in their own marriage, I am thinking they are either lying or delusional.Thank you Jenifer AlLee for those wise words.Jennifer has a book just out now, check out "The Pastor's Wife" on her website at www.jenniferallee.com So, sometimes stepping back helps, and I can understand that, because sometimes we do need to make a fresh start.And this means it's time for my thought/question of the day, which is, when tensions are running high, what do you do when you know this is something you're committed to for the long term? Is it fight or flight, or something in the middle?