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Most people forget that you have a choice about who you want to be and how you think about yourself, others and situations. Slipping into a habit of, “oh that is the ways things are, ” “That is just like me!” “There I go again, you would have thought I would have known better by now!” Einstein’s theory of insanity; to do the same thing over and over again in the same way, but expect a different outcome. You do it, time and time again, make excuses for disappointment and lapse into self-condemnation.

We are not preprogrammed; it is not ordained or written in concrete in some celestial archive that “you, must be this way.” You have a choice; even to do nothing about making it different is a choice. Just by acknowledging this is a great step into change mode, realizing that change does take, time effort and determination is the next one. Unfortunately, you do not have the magic power of a Fairy Godmother to change your thoughts, but you do have the awesome power of your mind, so more than enough to get you out of the rut, habit or situation that is holding you back.

Life stress, strains and anxieties can be reduced considerably by taking responsibility for yourself, your beliefs and your actions. Just for getting rid of the “have tos” in your life, lifts a ton weight. It is easy to say; “I have to ………” it already feels like a burden to be lugged around and complained about. However, I want to, I choose to, I like to, I love to………. makes the same task automatically lighter and more pleasurable. “I have to go to work” – no you don’t there are millions of unemployed people around the world, oh but if I didn’t go I would not have my lifestyle, true – so, you want your lifestyle and logically you need an income to do that, so you choose to work to get your “wanted” outcome. If you hate your job, then look for another, or start your own, there are always other options, but sometime not seeing them is more comfortable, than accepting “I can do something about it, if I make an effort.”

There is an area of our brain called the RAS (Reticular Activating System) this is an area that filters information you receive and marks it as relevant or not, if you are expecting to justify why life is so hard and unfair, you will find the confirmation of this. Likewise, if you are thankful and happy, your beliefs will be reinforced. The job of the RAS is to keep you sane, balance your external reality with your internal beliefs. For example, if you watch a film, it is exactly the same for every person who watches it, but you take away from it, is different depending on yourself.

Life and external reality do not change, it has ups and downs, laughter and tears, but how you respond to it is the variant, and you have control over it, even when you have lost focus of that. Challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs, if they are outdated, out lived their usefulness, then it is time for you to change them. A habit takes repetition of twenty eight days, to lodge into your belief process, then just like a young plant it needs nurturing and growing until it becomes a strong belief, that you do not even have to think about anymore, it becomes part of you. This is the route of change, whether large or small, change your belief, your action that corresponds will follow and your outcome will be different.