Search form

What Is Fear

I read that fear is an emotional response induced by a perceived threat, which causes a change in brain and organ function, as well as in behavior. Fear can lead us to hide, to run away, or to freeze in our shoes. Fear may arise from a confrontation or from avoiding a threat, or it may come in the form of a discovery.

When I was younger, fear came in the form of a scary movie, like The Shining or Nightmare on Elm Street. A little bit later, the fright was whether or not I would get picked in the neighborhood basketball game, and a little bit after that it was which girl I should ask to the school dance. After that, dread was dealt in the form of finding a job after college, and then consternation came about keeping that same job.

The day I found out what true fear genuinely feels like came later, at age 30. It didn’t come in the form of a movie, or a girl. It came in the form of being diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. It rushed into my life like a tsunami, reaping havoc and filling my mind with doubt and anxiety, my intellect with worry and unknown. I was quite literally in fear of losing my life.

My first reaction was utter shock. I didn’t know what was to come, but hearing words like cancer took the air out of me, as if I were punched in the gut by a heavyweight boxer. I knew that the fear I was experiencing was rational, and was certainly modulated by the process of cognition and learning. All the negative connotations with such an illness, and such a severe stage as well. Fear felt natural. It felt real. Ironically, it made me feel alive.

Clearly fear has a place in our lives, but I wasn’t about to let it control me. No way would I allow it to dictate how I chose to live. Not a chance. It’s easy to ignore our fears, but courage won’t make it to the playing field unless you have a fear to face down. By owning my feelings I took the first step toward gaining control over the situation as best as I could.

Instead of ignoring the situation I found myself in, or denying its seriousness, I decided to address it head on. As the days and weeks passed after hearing that dreadful diagnosis, I let that fear keep simmering. I acknowledged it, and began to keep a journal. At first my diary served as a concession to panic, and slowly evolved into a way I would conquer it. I often look back on my journal during those early days, and it now serves me to give me strength and encouragement, and also to see the big picture. It enabled me me to track my progress as I worked towards conquering my fear.

After accepting and admitting my fear, I tried to chase negative thoughts from my mind to picture what it would be like to win this battle, with a big wide smile on my face. I set that as my big goal, but also focused on smaller concrete goals to help me get there. I made it a point to meditate every day when I woke up, thinking about peaceful settings such as the wind blowing through a forest, of healthy, green leaves on sturdy, deep rooted trees. I imagined that I was laying on the forest floor, watching the limbs sway back and forth as I breathed in healing air, and breathed out unneeded thoughts or feelings.

Although it was paramount to commit to one outcome, and overcoming my fear, I found it necessary to let myself be afraid at times. I realized there was no way to eliminate fear from my life entirely, and that this valid emotion was one that would build character, and teach me what I had within me, and how to act with courage.

Sometimes through the darkest skies the brightest stars reveal themselves and shine. Although I never asked to be in this situation, being confronted by the darkest of fears, and accepting, confronting, and overcoming that fear enabled me to learn, grow, and be even more mortal. Feeling fear is human, but I assure you conquering it will make you feel empowered, courageous, and proud.

As a medical professional myself, I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I also applaud your positive attitude, in general terms. However, what do you do with the fact that current scientific research indicates that positive attitude has no effect on survival rates or length of life after a terminal diagnosis?

I guess one could say that having positive emotion might improve the quality of remaining life, at least. But does it really? I know that you are saying that you are not in denial ... but isn't having a positive attitude in the face of terminal diagnosis the very definition of being in denial? Negative emotion, if it is realistic, is not always maladaptive.

Although I completely understand your point, I also (as I'm sure are you) am very aware that scientific research evolves over time. If you looked at research say 50 years ago about the effects of cigarettes, that research is very different then vs. now. My point is I would almost guarantee that as we become more aware of the power of our mind, and in particular, the connection between our mind and our health, that research will change.

I choose to stay positive, I choose to see and focus on things I can control, and it has helped me heal every single day since being diagnosed. Mindfulness has a huge part in my life, and will only become a larger part of 'medicine' going forward, in my opinion.

But hey, that's my approach, and I believe it is the only one to have, and will help me win! Again, thank you for your support!

Reading a response like that from a medical professional upset me greatly. I mean what is the purpose of a response like that other than to try to negate or invalidate this person's approach to thinking and living? Does this professional expect the person to live in fear for the rest of their life? I felt like they were saying, all your positive thinking does no good and that didn't seem helpful at all. And you know what? I dont believe that a positive attitude and positive thoughts have no effect on survival rates for Cancer patients. And if it truly doesn't, what the point in pointing it out? I don't care what scientific literature says, they don't know everything. I'm glad the recipient of such a message was able to answer it in a way where it didn't seem to have a negative effect on them. More power to you. I'm glad you found a positive way. Remember, things like a cancer diagnosis can be a real eye opener. And positive thinking can improve the quality of anyone's life.

You gooooo Alex...and know that thousands and thousands of people stand beside you, in your journey!
WHATEVER your positivity and focus do for you medically, know that your choice of attitude is incredibly uplifting and inspiring to those around you! XXOO

You may not remember me, Alex, but I was one of the counselors back in your Boehm days. I still remember your amazing smile and optimistic attitude about all things middle school! I am so sorry about your diagnosis and subsequent battle, but truly believe that good has the capacity to come out of all trials. You appear to have made the choice to face the big C with optimism, hope and determination. The book, Love, Medicine and Miracles certainly speaks to your personal outlook. I do believe that it is critical to healing and longevity.

Chuck Long mentioned the possibility of asking you to speak with some of the students at Boehm next Fall to share your story and the impact of one's perspective on life's circumstances. If you are interested, I can certainly discuss the possibility with our principal. I will follow you on Facebook and am counting on sharing the blessings of your journey. Linda

Thank you for your words and support, means a lot! I agree with you, and know that good will come out on top! Love, Medicine, and Miracles is a go to for me, and I'd like to think I'd be a highlighted story in it.

An important message here, I'd welcome speaking to anyone, I hope that spreading awareness and sharing a good, positive story can help others.

There are situations in life when one is forced to relocate to some unknown place due to the requirement of a job or academic career....the sudden absence of home,loved ones,food, familiar places, friends and trusted services like health, environment, law and order etc and the fact that one would be tied down to the unfamiliar place for sometime in fact causes anxiety or panic. This has happened to me and the only remedy was to go back home.

There's no place like home. You often find that out when it's too late to go home.

If a move is required for a job or career, a major shift can occur personally that goes beyond a change in geographical location.

One can have a smooth move that enhances one's career; provides new social opportunities and friends; and brings a much needed emotional shift, a sense of exploration and adventure, or starting over.

Sometimes a fresh start is a welcome safety valve from the past, from limited career opportunties, or even from an overbearing partner or a dysfunctional family.

Sometimes a new beginning turns into one challenge after another, a feeling of not fitting in or being grounded, and a lost identity. It may be two steps forward and four backward. What were you thinking?

It's really important to assess one's personal history to decide if a drastic change is worth a promotion or getting away from loved ones and everything familiar.

Assess your own behavior and emotional way of coping, and be completely honest with your expectations. Looking at the future unrealistically or with rose-colored glasses isn't beneficial to reach your goals or find happiness.

There are five major areas of one's life that can change. They are job/career, love/relationships, home, family and friends, and health. Ask yourself whether you can handle radical change in all areas of your life simultaneously, or only in one or two areas to prevent emotional overload.

If you're the type of person who can't handle sudden, drastic change, then consider a job promotion to another city or state as a possible scenario for personal disaster and alienation. It might be best to stay with what is familiar to you even if you only make subtle daily change in your lifestyle over time. The choice is yours, so choose wisely.

Alex Niles, a 31-year-old living with stage four gastric cancer since his diagnosis in September 2013, provides insight into fear and overcoming it in his article "What Is Fear" published in "Psychology Today." His understanding is heart-felt from confronting his own health demons.

Alex's fear brought out his champion personality to overcome his emotions. His health regime is unfettered from emotional baggage and self-sabotage.

Alex is stepping into the future with a sense of optimism peppered with pragmatism to help others undergoing cancer treatment. Talk about courage and being a hero and role model.

This is the first time I read your post. I'm inspired by your courage you are displaying throughout your ordeal. I am wrestling with fear myself and a different topic but nowhere near as hard as yours. I hope that beat the cancer. Thank you for showing that I too can face adversity and recover. I'll remember this post and you always.

Although I am young, I have pondered such a many things. Fear has been, most recently, something I've wanted to figure out. I came to the same conclusion as you. Similarly, having a near-death experience with illness of the brain. Although I do not know if I may come to pass, I do know that yours is more serious. You have my prayers Alez Niles. Thank you for helping confirm my theory too.

First and foremost what a positive and kind message to spread to your readers. Alike you I choose to view situations in a positive light even though things haven't always been peachy.

I'm responding to you today, actually I'm not sure why I'm responding to you. However, I would like to know how you are progressing from 2014 til now. Well the best of luck to you and keep that light shining.

I admire your courage alex, and theres alot of insight on the human condition here, very helpful insight in overcoming anxietys. I think in life one must come to some very difficult decisions and one needs to find the strength for resolve. For me and finding that strength in facing my mortality i choose the belief that Christianity has to offer ... that is, in short, as Christ has proclaimed, 'you shall not die". Thank you Alex, and best of luck.

I was reading this so i can overcome a fear but knowing that people go through so much more then me makes me look selfish i just wanted to say fear is something we can either gain from something or lose from something either way it's your perspective thank you all. J.A