He said to me, “I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it”. I said to him, you wear pants don't you?”

He said to me, “shall we try swapping positions tonight?”I said, “that's a good idea - you stand by the stove and sink while I sit on the sofa and fart”

He said to me, “what have you been doing with all the grocery money I give you?”I said to him, “turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me, “why don't women blink during foreplay?”I said to him, “they don't have time”.

He said to me, “how many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?”I said to him, “I don't know; it has never happened”.

He said to me “why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good- looking?”I said to him “they already have boyfriends”.

He said, “what do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?”I said, “a widow.”

He said to me, “why are married women heavier than single women?”I said to him, “single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge”.