In fact, just to make you feel better, I’ve scripted a scenario in which your first newscast could have gone worse.

ANNOUNCER: You’re watching North Dakota News in high definition.

AJ: F***ing Sh*t

COANCHOR: Good eve… You..Notice AJ ..New…Tell us about yourself AJ.

AJ: We already met.

COANCHOR: I meant tell the viewers about yourself.

AJ: Viewers? F*** I forgot about them. Hey. I graduated, West Virginia University. I’m used, to being from the East Coast. And, I kicked a puppy on the way into work today.

COANCHOR: Okay, take it away AJ.

AJ: I don’t…I don’t understand…what?

COANCHOR: Go ahead and get us started.

AJ: I thought… I thought we already started…

COANCHOR: Go ahead and read the first story.

AJ: Oh…You should have made that more clear, instead of trying to dazzle me with your lingo.

COANCHOR: ….

AJ: I guess this is on me. A man was severely injured in a drunk driving crash… Oh yeah, I was in a fraternity too. That reminded me. I forgot to tell you. I was in a fraternity, so I’m used to being in things..

COANCHOR: Oh. Okay. Good.

AJ: Um. A man was severely injured in a drunk driving crash. Police say he had been drinking, but the other driver may have been texting while driving which contributed to the accident.

COANCHOR: In other news..

AJ: I don’t know why people have such a hard time with that.

COANCHOR: What?

AJ: Texting and driving. I do it all the time and I’ve never crashed. I nicked a guy on a bike, but he was fine. I mean he looked okay for the five seconds he was in my rearview mirror. Well, speaking of the roadways let’s head on over to the roads and traffic reporter…

COANCHOR: We don’t have a traffic reporter.

AJ: Really? Who’s that guy.

COANCHOR: That’s a camera.

AJ: I swear we have a traffic guy.

COANCHOR: Well, we do have a weather guy. Let’s check in with him right now.

WEATHER GUY: Hi and welcome AJ. Well, we just had a strong front leave our area.

AJ: That’s what she said.

WEATHER GUY: Uh, I…We’ve got a high pressure system now moving in.

AJ: That’s what she said.

WEATHER: The ah…We’ve got lots of sunshine in the days ahead.

AJ: That’s what she said.

WEATHER: That doesn’t really apply.

COANCHOR: Yes, well coming up after the break, see what fruit could be good for your skin.

After he cussed the first time, he should have figured he would get fired. Go out with a bang, I say. He should have done exactly what you said and also blamed a few farts on his co-anchor while he was at it.