Oprah Winfrey hits 200 lbs, blames food

Oprah Winfrey has admittedly “fallen off the wagon” and now weighs in at 200 pounds. She opens up about her personal battle in the upcoming issue of O Magazine where she admits to over-eating and not being able to fit in her gown for President-elect Obama’s inauguration. The AP reports:

“I had a dress on the vision board, but I’m not sure that’s gonna fit,” Winfrey said. “So I have to work on something else.”
“I’m mad at myself,” Winfrey writes in an article provided early to The Associated Press by Harpo Productions.
“I’m embarrassed,” she writes. “I can’t believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I’m still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, `How did I let this happen again?'”
In the piece, Winfrey, 54, details her recent struggles with an out-of-balance thyroid and how the condition made her develop “a fear of working out.” She says she’s added 40 pounds to her frame since she weighed 160 pounds in 2006.
“Yes, you’re adding correctly; that means the dreaded 2-0-0,” Winfrey writes. “I was so frustrated I started eating whatever I wanted — and that’s never good.”

Oprah added: “For starters, I’ve eaten half of this laptop I’m typing on. My studio audience from yesterday? Let’s just say they went beautifully with a delicious cranberry relish. Dr. Phil’s career? Drowned that mother in chocolate sauce then watched an entire season of Desperate Housewives. I never even left the couch!
But the important thing to remember is I’m still every woman – and also rich enough to get away with murder, so nobody make fun of my weight.”

Huzzah! An out of balance thyroid is all it was! And all along I’ve been thinking she’s just fat. Thankfully she’s set the record straight and we now all know that inside every fat person is a skinny person with a thyroid problem. Good for you, Oinkra Pigfrey. Have another ham sandwich dear. It’s not your fault you’re fat. If it wasn’t for your thyroid you’d be able to eat to your heart’s content then lay about like a lump all day and not gain a pound. Such a shame.

Free Willy? No, Free Oinkra I say! Away, away! And back to the sea to be happy and free in everlasting neutral buoyancy!