Diary

To mark the glorious fourth anniversary of our nation's widely acclaimed invasion of Iraq, the Foreign and Commonwealth Office has issued - and not, may we say, before time - a valuable factsheet detailing some of the many significant improvements we have wrought in that once-benighted land. But while it is a cause of jubilation for us all that six footbridges have been refurbished, 51 football pitches and other sporting facilities constructed, 29 area clearance projects carried out and fully 70,000 date palms planted, we are puzzled not to find any reference to those remarkable Iraqi casualty figures. Why so shy, we wonder?

· We are also, we confess, at a loss to understand the fuss over Sir Andrew Turnbull's remark that Mr Broon views his fellow ministers with "more or less complete contempt". Is not one of the first qualities we look for in our leaders a measure of perspicacity?

· Hats off, now, to young Dave Cameron's New Model Tories, whose bold and innovative bid to win hearts and minds in Tottenham - not, perhaps, the most stalwart of Conservative strongholds - certainly looks set to prosper. Not content with calling a public meeting to protest against Haringey council's vile plans to charge 4x4s and similar gas guzzlers a few quid more to park in the borough (a measure of which Eco Dave would surely approve), they did so for 7.30pm last Monday - a mere 35 minutes before Spurs kicked off against Chelsea in an FA Cup quarter-final replay of zero interest to the vast majority of local residents. Bless.

· Success! Mark Francois MP (Rayleigh, Con), whose courageous campaign to expose the future national scandal of Furnituregate we revealed in this very column some weeks ago, has had an answer to his vital question about how many items of furniture have been (a) lost, and (b) stolen, from every government department since 1997, and what precisely their value was. Back comes a splendid reply from Defra: "In 2006, a small sofa was stolen, approximate cost £350. No other items have been lost or stolen since 1997." Surely this means the boy Miliband's chances of claiming the crown have now vanished altogether?

· Re our scoop yesterday about über-blogger Guido Fawkes, his credit-card problems and his Virgin Islands-based assets, we are pleased to clarify, in Guido's own words, that "my assets are not in the BVI, I don't have a credit card, and the quote was completely made up". Also, the story - such as it was, which was, of course, nothing like we reported it - is about six weeks old. So even by our own exacting standards, we did pretty well on that one. Guido's blog, btw, which is fantastic, is at www.order-order.com, and we commend it to anyone looking for more than the whimsical and inaccurate garbage routinely served up by this column.

· But how, we wonder, is Lord Beaumont of Whitley, the Green party's sole representative in the upper house, responding to the reigning greener-than-thou environmental zeitgeist? By tabling a fine bill aimed at banning piped music and television programmes from the public areas of hospitals, that's how. Good man!

· Finally, as promised: "A woodland suburb in Columbus, Ohio," writes reader Seamus O'Connell. "Electric power cabled from transformer on top of high pole. A flash and a bang, lights go out all round. Bloody squirrel corpse on top of transformer. Bird swoops down, all beak and claws, flies off with squirrel's body. Big. Hosts say it's an American eagle." Blimey