Posted
by
Soulskill
on Saturday October 03, 2009 @09:18AM
from the otherwise-the-terrists-win dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Yesterday, Chicago lost its bid for the 2016 Olympics (which went to Rio de Janeiro instead), and it's looking very likely that US border procedures were one of the main factors which knocked Chicago out of the race: 'Among the toughest questions posed to the Chicago bid team this week in Copenhagen was one that raised the issue of what kind of welcome foreigners would get from airport officials when they arrived in this country to attend the Games. Syed Shahid Ali, an I.O.C. member from Pakistan, in the question-and-answer session following Chicago's official presentation, pointed out that entering the United States can be "a rather harrowing experience." ... The exchange underscores what tourism officials here have been saying for years about the sometimes rigorous entry process for foreigners, which they see as a deterrent to tourism.'"

The London Olympics have epic potential for showcasing the UK. The cycling events should all be on the pot-holed, speed-bumped, litter-filled streets and have to comply with all road laws, the weight lifters would all be subject to health and safety legislation, as would the hammer and javelin throwers. Runners would struggle down the uneven, excrement-smeared pavements, dodging around the lamp-posts, bollards and fencing etc.

he doesn't want to come to the US at all any more, so we have to go visit in Europe or rendezvous in another 3rd country.

Rendezvous in a third country, you say? Hmmm, sounds like grandpa has something to hide. What kind of merchant is he? Do you engage in "training" in this other country? I think the Department of Homeland Security would be interested in this story. Please sit quietly at your computer, a black helicopter and van has been dispatched to your location.

It's not that bad. The U.S. threatened to tighten the Canada/U.S. border with the claims you describe.

The trouble is that Canada depends on trade with the U.S., so when faced with the option of tightening up the ten or so major international airports v.s. the 49th parallel, the great lakes seaway and Quebec/New England states, Canada opted for the former.

So now Canadian border guards also ask stupid questions, but they're less overworked, better educated, better trained and better paid, so they tend to be more sane about border crossings. You still get checked carefully at Canada/U.S. border crossings if you don't have Canadian ID... and it's not quite so easy to get over the 49th as people might think. Sure you can throw a backpack on at night and walk along a dirt road for a while, but people do look for that sort of thing, and you have to know the area really well and blend in so as to pick the right place to cross and not upset the land owners.

Terrorist: "Hello Greyhound, you drive busses right?"
Greyhound: "Yep"
Terrorist: "I want to go to this place."
Greyhound: "Is that a satellite photo?"
Terrorist: "no, Google maps"
Greyhound: "What's it called? that place?"
Terrorist: "Canada"
Greyhound: "No the place on the map"
Terrorist: "It's a place in Canada, near the U.S. border, how do I get there?"
Greyhound: "I think you can take the bus to Sherbrooke and find a taxi maybe, but it will be expensive"

Terrorist: "Take me to this place on the map.
Taxi driver: "Pardon? Ques-ce Anglais, Pourquois? Ou?"
Terrorist: "Eee Cee?"
Taxi driver: "Ou?"
Terrorist: "Tabernac!"
Taxi driver: "We have er, English, er where is the um map?"
Terrorist: "I am travelling to the U.S. to do nefarious things, like... I'm not quite sure, but I'll know when I get there, and I won't be able to get into the country because... umm, because... I don't know why exactly, but I decided to walk the Appelacian trail or something"
Taxi driver: "oh kay!"

Point is, if you know enough to get over the border through a backcountry crossing, you're probably not going to be stopped by the U.S. border guards anyway.

(I once went one a round-the-world holiday. At Fiji's passport control, they gave us garlands, and serenaded us with guitars; at US passport control they growled at us.)

Believe me, it's much better that way. Imagine if the US passport staff had tried to serenade you with guitars. The only thing that I can think to match that in sheer horror is having a Vogon recite poetry to me.

Regarding the immigration form, one thing that was must puzzling wasn't what they asked, but how they asked it. They had 5 boxes to tick (hint: don't tick any), and under one box they were asking both if you worked for the Third Reich between 1933 and 1945 or if you were looking for work in the USA. In the same fucking question!!