6 Rules to Follow When it Comes to Divorce and Social Media

Topic: Family Law

Divorce is messy. So is social media. And when you mix your divorce and social media, things can get complicated.

The most simple, and by far the best solution, is to stop using social media during while your divorce is underway. But realistically, that can be difficult for a lot of people. The next best thing is to practice common sense when it comes to using social media while going through a divorce.

Here are six rules to follow when it comes to divorce and social media:

1. Don’t Unfriend or Block Your Ex

Unfriending your soon-to-be ex may seem like the best way to begin to bring closure to this part of your life, but it may cause more damage than you think. During a divorce, tensions are high. If you’re not getting along (or even if you are), it’s best to stay as civil as you can. By deciding to unfriend or block your ex, you may invite even more tension to your already fractured relationship and cause your spouse to think you might be hiding something.

2. Post Responsibly

This can mean a lot of things. For instance, don’t post photos of you drinking, doing drugs (or anything else illegal, for that matter), or doing anything irresponsible around your kids. Posts like that can be used as evidence against you in a custody battle. Also, refrain from getting into any online arguments with anyone. Social media can bring out the worst in us, and an angry comment you leave on someone’s post could cause someone to think you have anger issues. It’s best in these situations to just ignore a post you don’t agree with.

3. Stop Posting Vacation Pics and New Toys

It’s always fun to post photos on social media of us splashing in the surf, having a margarita by the hotel pool (see #2) or sightseeing in another country. But when you’re going through a divorce, money and how much you have of it is always an issue. Try to skip posting photos of you on vacation or of you in your new car or motorcycle. These can be used against you when it comes to how much money you’ll be paying your ex in alimony.

4. Don’t Share Pictures of Your New Girlfriend/Boyfriend

In the same vein, if you’ve started dating again during your divorce process, don’t post anything about your new special someone. Wounds are still undoubtedly fresh, and if your ex happens to see a post about how happy you are in your new relationship, it’ll not only spark hurt and resentment, but it very well could cause your divorce process to go on longer than necessary.

5. Stop Dishing on Your Divorce

Going through a divorce is an emotional time. And it always helps to have someone you can vent to and get advice from. But social media is not the place to do this. Nor it is the place to talk badly about your ex. Not only does airing your dirty laundry online make people feel uncomfortable, but it makes you look like you are emotionally unstable. And if you’re applying for a new job, the hiring manager is going to check your social media profile. They won’t want to hire someone with all of that baggage.

6. Don’t Be a Creeper

As much as you may want your ex back, scrolling through his or her profile isn’t going to help. Or, if you want to see what they’ve been up to since you’ve been separated, resist the urge to creep on them online (or in person, for that matter). Like you, they deserve their privacy during this difficult time. Plus, it won’t do you any good anyway. It’ll just make this process even more emotional for you and can stifle your ability to move on.

Generally, less is more when it comes to your divorce and social media. Anything you post on social media can be used as evidence against you in court, so don’t share anything online you wouldn’t want to a judge to read!

Contact a Chattanooga Divorce Lawyer

If you are going through a divorce, we can help. Kiff Newkirk has more than 20 years experience working with clients dealing with divorce, alimony, child custody and visitation, legal separation, enforcing obligations after a divorce and more. For more information, visit our family law page and call (423) 531-2800. Or send us an email, and we’ll respond as soon as we can.

Photo by valentinrussanov on iStock

Meeting with your divorce attorney for the first time is unsettling, no matter how you arrived at this point in your relationship. To make the meeting as efficient, focused, and productive as possible, these are the most important things to bring to your first meeting with your divorce attorney:

An Open Mind

In the beginning, you can be considering divorce, filing for divorce, or have been served with a citation suing you for divorce. During your first meeting with your divorce lawyer, you will discuss many personal matters. Remember, your attorney is not there to pass judgement, and everything you say will remain confidential.

What to bring:A willingness to share and listen with an open mind.

Your Wishlist

Start by crafting broad goals about what you want out of the divorce. Consider things like child custody, whether you want to stay in your marital home, how to pay for expenses like school tuition and your children’s health insurance, what assets are most important to you, who gets the pets, how you’ll pay for college, etc.

Again, the fine points may evolve as you work through the process. But if you keep your eye on the prize when it comes to the goals that matter most to you, you’ll be in a better position to negotiate.

What to bring: Your list of goals. You can even make it as simple as a top 10 list.

Your Questions

This is the time to ask about what approach is best for you – litigation or an alternative dispute resolution method, who’ll pay for what during the divorce, whether you should request spousal support, how long it will take, how to work through child custody and child support issues, and more.

What to bring: A written list of questions. Writing down your list will ensure you cover as much ground as possible in your first meeting with your divorce attorney.

Contact a Chattanooga Divorce Attorney

Hiring a lawyer who specializes in family law will give you the confidence and stability to cope with the process and get the results you seek.

At Speek, Webb, Turner, and Newkirk, we have helped thousands of couples with their divorces, and we will work hard to represent you in yours. Please contact us today if you need help with your divorce.

If you are seeking a divorce, it may be tempting to DIY the process to save time and money, but going that route may create more stress and cost more in the long run. When you consider all the factors like child custody, spousal support, and distributing car payments and retirement accounts, a kit or online program seems too simple for the job. This is especially true if you have a sizable or complicated estate to divide. Thinking through these questions can help you decide if you should hire a divorce attorney.

Do you know all your options?

If you represent yourself, you must draft and present a proper settlement proposal. Even if you get so far as to confidently present a proposal under your own guidance, the judge may not accept the terms you’ve laid out. This very possible outcome will frustrate your judge and delay your case, costing you time and money.

A divorce lawyer, however, will be able to look at your case and tell you the most likely outcomes and whether or not you need to take your fight to court. An attorney will be able to work alongside you to draft a settlement that will be most agreeable to all parties. The attorney will also advise you on how to handle your spouse’s settlement requests. Finally, an attorney will know to include topics in a settlement that you may not have considered, like permission to reclaim your maiden name or plans to pay for your kids’ college tuition and living expenses once they’re too old to require child support.

Can you remain objective?

Handling a divorce is a very personal, highly emotional matter. Your house, your money, your children and your retirement will all be discussed at length while you work toward agreement. The workload alone (not to mention the paperwork!) can induce high amounts of stress. It is a rare person who is able to manage their daily responsibilities, their emotional and mental health, and their job, AND successfully represent himself or herself in court.

Your emotions will, no doubt, impair your ability to objectively consider all the options that can give you the best results for your case. A divorce attorney can be the objective third party that keeps the emotion out of the settlement and helps you and your spouse reach agreement.

Your lawyer will be able to help you know when to keep your feelings in check and to distinguish which battles are worth fighting.

Can you put in the work?

In court, you are held to the same standard as all other lawyers, even if you represent yourself. If you go it alone, you’ll have to research all your documents and records thoroughly to build a strong case and while maintaining your regular daily life at home and work. Are you prepared to keep up with and properly fill out all the forms required to keep your case active? Your words and phrasing in the contracts must be precise and airtight. Any mistake or overlooked detail can create consequences that last a lifetime. A lawyer that concentrates specifically on family law will have spent the time and energy dedicated to understanding the ins and outs of the court system. Getting access to their expertise may well make it worthwhile for you to hire a divorce attorney.

Just hearing the phrase “hiring a lawyer” can cause many to see dollar signs flash before their eyes. However, the time, energy, and resources needed to create a strong and tight case are just as costly. If you choose to represent yourself, you are taking on a full-time commitment.

A lawyer would need to frequently gather information from you, but, after that, he or she will continue to work and research behind the scenes. You can then place your focus and energy on taking care of yourself and your family during this difficult time.

The job of your divorce lawyer is to stay on top of all requirements and provide objective counsel to help you achieve your goals for life after divorce. A divorce attorney knows how to finalize your divorce as quickly as possible so you can get back to your life. At Speek, Webb, Turner & Newkirk, we work hard to relieve pressure and give you the most favorable results.