Music: In memory of metalhead Tariq Ali (R.I.P.) ~ \m/ ~

Today (9/28) marks two weeks since local musician Tariq Ali's family realized that the 28-year-old man was missing. And today also is the day that Ali's funeral took place. Even though I only talked with Ali once, the story of his disappearance; the rallying of the StonerRock.com community; the efforts of family, friends and others to find him; etc., has been on my mind since receiving a call from Dolton native Mike Rees, drummer for local band Reprobation (and an "Elaborating on Entertainment" commenter), a couple of days after the metal community started to spread the word in hopes of finding Ali safe and sound.

One thing about the metal community is we're all connected, even if we don't realize it. While checking out Skeletonwitch, Black Dahlia Murder and Children of Bodom at House of Blues Chicago on Sunday night (9/27), I couldn't help but wonder how many of the packed house might have been connected to Ali in some way and sad that he committed suicide. When I really thought about Ali -- who was based at Discount Records' Midlothian store and also worked at the Homewood and Matteson locations until the independent music chain folded two years ago -- I realized that we not only had a respect for Pantera's and Damageplan's "Dimebag" Darrell in common. Sure, we liked many of the same bands (The Gathering, one of my all-time favorites, is No. 2 on his StonerRock.com list of top 10 bands). But the band Johnny Vomit also features Roman, someone I worked with when first starting in local music journalism with now-defunct freebie music magazine Subculture, which was based in Calumet City at the time and circulated in both Illinois and Indiana.

Several SouthtownStar.com readers shared kind words in memory of Ali on Friday (9/25) in response to Steve Metsch's news article and the touching column that Guy Tridgell wrote. "R.I.P. Tariq Ali," rudyd commented, and scoop wrote, "Sincere sympathy for the family." "I was very glad that I had the opportunity to be there Saturday to help with the search for Tariq. My brother-in-law and Tariq were childhood friends. I was glad to meet Sabri while I was there on Saturday. My heart goes out to Tariq's family while they have to go through these hard times and my family and I will be praying for them. Take care!!" shannon.hubb wrote. And westerley said, "I didn't know Tariq very well, we were always at the same party's and shows, we had a lot of mutual friends, he meant a lot to them, so that was enough for me to want to help. I'm really sorry the way things ended up and I'd like to send my best to his family. I prayed for them that they would find their son and be able to rest. God bless him."

Given how much people cared for Ali and how much he continues to come up in conversations with fellow metalheads, it only seemed right to offer a space for others to share their memories of him. You also can share your thoughts on the Legacy.com guest book for Syed Tariq Ali and the RIP Tariq Ali Facebook page. I look forward to hearing your stories about Ali -- whether you talked music with him, encountered him at a metal show, traded records with him, liked reading his posts on StonerRock.com, went to school with him at Eisenhower High School in Blue Island, or simply knew him and/or his family -- which includes his sister, Sabri; his mother, Ranetta; and his father, Syed. Those who are looking for a way to support the Ali family can donate to a benefit account that has been set up at Marquette Bank. The account is under Syed Ali, Tariq's father. Any branch can handle deposits to this account, or deposits can be mailed to Danielle Gorajski, Marquette Bank, 9612 W. 143d St., Orland Park, IL 60462.

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UPDATE 1:Since the touching Guy Tridgell column mentioned above has purged from the original link provided, here is the text that was originally published on 9/25/09 in the SouthtownStar:

Family of suicide victim has one question: Why?

By Guy Tridgell, Columnist

Syed and Ranetta Ali finally know what happened to their son. The bigger question is going to stick around for a long time, maybe forever.

Why?

Tariq Ali, 28, wandered into the darkness from the Midlothian home where he lived with his parents after they went to bed Sept. 13.

That afternoon, Tariq helped his mom prepare chicken for dinner. His folks watched the Bears game upstairs, while Tariq went downstairs to go online and watch "Sons of Anarchy" on TV.

At one point in the night, Ranetta heard her youngest child come up the stairs to his bedroom. He said "Hey, bud" to his cat, Marty.

"That was the last I heard from him," she said. "When I came home from work that afternoon, no Tariq."

She told me the story Thursday morning for what had to seem like the zillionith time.

Less than an hour later, the phone call came.

Tariq Ali - whose first name means "leader" in Arabic - was found dead in a wooded forest preserve at 147th Street and Ridgeland Avenue, about five miles from his house. He had committed suicide.

Why?

He wasn't without passion.

Tariq loved music.

As part of the Class of 1999 at Eisenhower High School in Blue Island, he was involved in every band the school offered, playing clarinet and saxophone. He taught himself to play guitar. At a school prep rally his senior year, he played "The Star Spangled Banner," a la Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock.

College wasn't his thing. He went to North Central College in Naperville, but didn't care for the experience.

He was a diehard metalhead, playing bass in a variety of south suburban bands, most recently with Couldron.

He looked the part, too. At 5-foot-8, 300 pounds, he was a teddy bear of a guy with multiple piercings and tattoos.

Tariq's day job was working as a manager for the Discount Record locations in Homewood, Frankfort, Matteson and Midlothian.

Two years ago, the stores folded, leaving Tariq without a job. He eked out a living since then selling music memorabilia on eBay.

"If he was depressed about that, he didn't show it," his sister Sabri said. "He actually seemed really excited. In his e-mails, he was telling people how excited he was because he was getting into playing the drums."

Why?

He didn't have any trouble expressing himself.

His experience with the record store - the last of the independents in an era when music is stolen over the Internet or bought for $8.88 for a CD at Walmart - left him disillusioned. He railed, often over the Web, against corporate greed killing the little guy.

He called out his sister by voting for the first time in November. To acknowledge the occasion, a picture was snapped of him grinning broadly at his polling place while he pointed to an "I Voted" sticker on his shirt.

His disappearance lit up the blogosphere.

When he went missing, a special Facebook page was created to help with the search. One of his favorite sites, www.stonerrock.com, sent a blast message to its 30,000 members with news of his disappearance.

Why?

It's not like he didn't have friends.

The day before he vanished, Tariq spent the afternoon boating with them along the Calumet Sag Channel. They anchored in Calumet Harbor in Indiana to wade in the water.

Tariq surprised everyone by rolling up his pant legs to join them.

"He was out with his friends all day that Thursday, all day that Friday and all day that Saturday before he went missing on Sunday," his sister said. "If he was depressed, no one knew about it. He kept it hidden."

Those friends never stopped showing up to offer their support.

"I have seen these long-haired guys who would intimidate most people hold me with tears in their eyes," his mother said. "If they would have known anything, they would have let us know."

Tariq had no problems with drugs or alcohol. He was guilty of the occasional beer or two or three with buddies.

His bedroom Thursday remained just as he left it. A Black Sabbath flag covered one of the windows. The pillows were stacked on his twin bed. The shelves against one wall were jammed with CDs, mostly by metal bands.

Why?

That's a question only one person can answer.

A lot of people are hurting today because he's not around to help them understand.

UPDATE 2:Since SouthtownStar columnist Guy Tridgell's article featuring a message from Tariq Ali's parents, Syed and Ranetta, has purged from the original link provided, here is the text that was originally published on 10/07/09 in the SouthtownStar:

A message to parents

By Guy Tridgell, Columnist

A month ago, Tariq Ali walked into a Cook County forest preserve and shot himself.

His parents, Syed and Ranetta Ali, want you to know a few things if you should ever experience the heartache of being in their shoes:

Don't blame yourself.

Look for the positive.

Always let your kids know you love them.

"There were no clues for us, nothing that he would do something like this," said Tariq's mother, Ranetta. "But knowing my son, and talking to his friends, this is something he evidently was planning for a long time."

Tariq Ali, 28, left the Midlothian home, where he lived with his parents, on Sept. 13. His body was found by joggers 11 days later.

He left no note or anything else that might indicate why he felt the need to kill himself.

"No trace. Nothing," said his father, Syed. "We looked at his computer, his laptop. His room has been searched. Every corner. Nothing - yet."

An estimated 400 friends, relatives and acquaintances came to their son's visitation in his native Blue Island. They also could provide no answers.

If his parents learned anything, it was that Tariq was the one his friends leaned on when they were having trouble.

"One of his friends told us he and Tariq would have a lot of discussions," his mother said. "He would tell Tariq he was depressed. Tariq would ask him, 'Is there anything, really, to be sad about?' His friend would think and go, 'No, I guess not.' Tariq would tell him, 'Get over it, then.' "

But they know now something was wrong. Whatever that thing was, it was bothering him for a long time.

He somehow obtained a gun and hid it from his parents for weeks.

The weekend before he died, Tariq went boating with friends. Instead of exchanging the usual handshakes before parting ways, he gave out hugs.

They think he waited to carry out his plans until his older sister, Sabri, arrived from Florida for a visit.

And they suspect his job status was a bigger deal than he let on. Tariq was a manager for the old Discount Records until the chain of stores went out of business two years ago.

"I think he might have thought of himself as a burden on us. If he would have just told me, 'Dad, I need $2,000 or $3,000,' I would have given it to him," his father said. "If he said, 'Dad, I want to move to California,' I would have helped. He never even asked for a dime - a dime - for a cup of coffee.

"To me, that's the really sad part. Why didn't he just ask?"

They have gleaned some satisfaction that his death wasn't in vain from the response to his disappearance.

The outpouring for their son after he went missing was overwhelming.

They were worried Tariq would be viewed as just another struggling local musician, a bassist for area metal bands, scuffling through life.

Quite the opposite happened instead.

Police and fire departments in Midlothian, Oak Forest, Blue Island, Posen and Alsip donated manpower and equipment for the search. The Cook County sheriff's police and the forest preserve district police played big roles.

Dunkin' Donuts gave coffee to the hundreds of volunteers who assisted. So did the local Starbucks. Sanford, the Oak Brook company that makes Sharpie markers and employs Tariq's sister, supplied fruit, granola bars and water.

"There is no way we can ever, ever thank everyone who came out," Tariq's mother said. "They walked the woods, the trails, the train tracks - everywhere."

They have an enormous respect for the police who were given the duty to inform them that their son had been found.

Midlothian Police Chief Vince Schavone came in person to the Ali house. Blue Island police chief Douglas Hoglund, who lived on the same block as the Alis as a young officer, accompanied him.

"How do you go into a house and break that kind of news?" Tariq's mother said. "They were there."

The Alis also want people to know that it's OK to approach the families of suicide victims. Talk to them. Don't be worried about saying the wrong thing. The sentiment is appreciated, but it's not necessary.

"I went into a place, a business where everybody knows me. It wasn't like they were avoiding me, but they didn't know what to say," Tariq's mother said. "I don't want people to feel that way, but I understand it's natural."

Syed and Ranetta Ali might not ever know what was tormenting their only son. He didn't give them the chance.

What they want to do now is pass along another message that all moms and dads should hear loud and clear.

"Don't blame yourself if this should happen to you," Tariq's mother said. "We had no signs, whatsoever, that this could happen.

"Always give your child a hug, a kiss good night. Even if it's just a touch on the cheek or one on the hand. You never know when God is going to take them home."

A scholarship in the name of Tariq Ali has been established through Marquette Bank. Donations can be made in any of the bank's branches by asking for the Tariq Ali Memorial Fund. All proceeds will be awarded annually to a graduate of Blue Island's Eisenhower High School who plans to pursue a career in music. Ali graduated from the school in 1999.

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It's been five years to the day since Pantera's and Damageplan's "Dimebag" Darrell was tragically shot to death, but his fans -- and certainly his family and friends -- have not forgotten the talented metal musician and all-around good-hearted soul.... Read More

4 Comments

I knew Tariq when he was a baby and toddler. I use to babysit him. Him and his family lived nextdoor to me.He loved Kit-Kat candy bars.One year for Halloween his mother came to me and asked if I would make him a Kit-Kat bar costume.So I did. He was the cutest looking candy bar I've ever seen.I knew Tariq was interested in music,but didn't know what kind.I never went to see him plat,but I heard he was an awesome musician.He has great parents,and a sister who is beautiful.

I prayed that he would be found safe and sound,but my prayers were not answered.Instead,God needed an Angel to play for Him.

I was first introduced to Tariq several years ago at the infamous Mutiny bar on north Western Avenue in Chicago by my good friend and stoner/doom artist extraordinaire Tom Denney. He introduced him to me, half-joking, as a "metalhead and Dungeons and Dragon afficionado", which I bought for a moment given the trenchcoat and trademark tinted glasses and beard that he was sporting at the time.

In the next couple of years, my band Trifog would often share the stage with his band Couldron at places like the Mutiny, U.S. Beer Company, Champs, etc., and that's when I really got used to seeing Tariq at all of these usual locations. But it wasn't until after Trifog and Couldron had dissolved, and myself, Tariq, and Tom Denney came around full circle last winter as I Klatus, that I really started to get to know Tariq.

I Klatus was a band that Tom had created several years ago, and subsequently hired on myself and John Bomher and a revolving door of other musicians. Finally, last year, the three of us recruited Tariq to play bass and the band really felt complete. We recorded together, toured the midwest for a couple weeks, and really started to bond. Naturally, these are the places where we now miss him most--the places where one would expect Tariq to be.

But what really makes me miss Tariq are the memories of random comments that he made throughout the years that I knew him. I remember he once commented that "Weezer is the only true emo band" which I though was hillarious, and I now think of that every time I hear an old Weezer song on the radio.

Last year, some of the members of Trifog and Couldron got together for a camping trip at Warren Dunes in Michigan, at which time we all climbed a notoriously steep and treacherous sand dune. There's a very chilling and telling picture from that experience--you can see it on my MySpace page in the "Warren Dunes" picture folder. It's the second pic in the folder. After posting it, Tariq commented that "next year I'm gonna climb that mountain!"...and man, I have a hard time just looking at that picture now.

Then there was a comment he made while we were touring the frigid ice-covered midwest last December and January in a moving van with very poor heat: "There's no way I'm spending another winter in Chicago!" We both had a good laugh and a shot of whiskey in honor of that statement. I just wish I knew at the time how he would eventually realize that comment.

It's obviously a very sad loss, but it warms my heart to see how all of his friends and family have come together. Between the search party, the wake, a recent camping trip with the guys from Couldron and Trifog, and the upcoming benefit in Blue Island, I think it's been a very healthy grieving process for all, and at the same time a fitting tribute to a great guy. My heart goes out to all of Tariq's family and friends.

I randomly remembered seeing a missing person flyer for Tariq a while back. I was floored. I visited dicount records all the time and spoke with him often. Super cool guy. Very chill. Loved his job and his band.

So sad.

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Jessi Virtusio

Jessi Virtusio is the SouthtownStar’s arts and entertainment editor. She also pens the paper’s Gig of the Week and pro wrestling columns. You’ll usually find her enjoying a concert or other special event. She’s always looking to discuss music, good eats, movies and more, so let her know what’s on your mind.