A blog about my interest in all things military, wargaming and last but not least my military vehicle adventures.

Monday, 17 February 2014

Humour - 'Dear Mum'

Dear Mum
Letter…

A mother passing by
her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and
everything was picked up.

Then, she saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,
'Mum'. With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read
the letter, with trembling hands…

'Dear,
Mum.

It is with great
regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new
girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been
finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would
not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight
Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's
not only the passion, Mum. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very
happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for
the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other
people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the
meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can
get better. She sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mum, I'm 15, and I
know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit,
so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son,
Nicholas.

PS: Mum, none of the
above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that
there are worse things in life than the school report that's on my
desk.