Have workable plan before switching jobs

Sunday

My wife thinks this is my midlife crisis and that every job will have its drawbacks.

I understand that I am responsible for supporting my family and that I can't just jump to another job; it will be hard to find another job in this area that pays this well, and moving when my youngest has only a year of high school left doesn't make sense.

At what point can I say the heck with it and jump ship to another job? Is it when the youngest is graduated from college? Is this a midlife crisis?

-- Disgruntled in Wisconsin

Dear Disgruntled: It'll be a marital crisis if you "say the heck with it and jump ship."

You owe it to your family to keep stability in mind -- at the front of your mind -- when you weigh any drastic change.

Your family owes it to you to consider your needs, too.

Think about what you want -- from work, from weekends, from life. Even from your family. Try to imagine these ideals in job form. Research these vague job ideas to see whether any of them are realistic, appealing, lucrative (enough) and attainable for someone with your experience, training and skills.

Think, too, what kind of support you'd like from your wife, and ask for it. You might not get any, no matter how fair and thoughtful your plan. But your chances for her support certainly look better if you have a purpose and include her in it, as opposed to burning the nest egg in the job equivalent of a red convertible sports car.

Dear Carolyn: My boss talks to me with her eyes closed -- all the time.

Sometimes she tilts her head as if she were looking down her nose at me (if she had her eyes open). It drives me insane. I've considered starting to do it to her. She'd notice because she closes her eyes only when she talks.

-- In the Dark

Dear Dark: Mocking your boss -- now there's a clever career move.

It's possible this is her way of organizing her thoughts or even working around a social phobia.

This isn't your problem, as long as these conversations with your boss are conveying the information each of you needs for the job. If a colleague's eccentricity is merely driving you insane, then it's your job to find a way to stay glued. I suggest you do it.