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The Childfree Tag Part I - Choice, Ambivalence, Acceptance

Friday, November 25, 2016

Hey beaugorgeous people! I know I have been MIA the past few months and yes throwback blogs doesn't count as a comeback either. LOL! but excuses granted, I have been so busy with beating deadlines, making a living and getting responsibilities done. Yeah, its called being an adult (duh) and it can get very exhausting. Anyways today I decided to do the childfree tag. And yes there is such a thing as a childfree tag and I am very excited to do it. So here goes:

1. Do you dislike children?

I don't dislike children. In fact I have spent most of my career as a teacher being with them and like most teachers, I love them as if they are my children. But I also think that after spending so much of my energy, I would love to end my day to a quiet time at home, cuddle with my puppy and enjoy a life of boredom. LOL!

2. Why did you opt out from parenthood?

Technically, my oncologist had to harvest my reproductive organs to save my life from cancer. But long before I was diagnosed with cancer, husband and I kind of decided to halt parenthood for a while to focus on our career. The truth is, even when we were still dating, we never talked about having children. It was kind of whatever comes will come kind of thing. So I guess we kind of think that its okay not to have children but it was then such a taboo that we didn't openly talked about it. And then we hit ambivalence that time we turned thirty (it's the pressure I guess) and we tried but I got a cancer diagnosis instead of a baby. So, we let things be (had to cry it out at grief therapy) but accepted the fact that we are not meant to be parents.

3. Did you think your childhood affects your decision to be childless?

Nope, we had a wonderful childhood. It's was a choice.

4. Do you think that people are aware that parenting is a choice?

Well, we live in a society where the acceptable is best practice by everyone. And for some couples being parents is the ultimate achievement and it is understandable. We kind of feel that we owe it to society to reproduce and it seems that we are made to think that marriage can only last when there are children. Well, there are different sides of it. But people should be given that awareness that there is no pressure when it comes to having children. The same goes with couples or people who want to raise children regardless if they are married or not (treading lightly here). I am just saying that being parents is all about being able to love, provide a better life, care and be responsible of another person. And for one to know if they're ready or not should be a personal choice... And if one decides to have or not to have children, it should not be a subject of attack or judgement. I guess the word here is respect that choice.
5. Describe parenthood in one word.

CHOICE

6. Do you think you be a good parent?

Yes, I do! Well, I'd like to think that I am the best furmom in the whole world. And a teacher as a day job? should I even be asked? :)

7. What is the most ridiculous BINGO you received?

Okay, so I had to google this for I thought Bingo is a game or the farmer's dog B.I.N.G.O :)

"A bingo. It's when a childfree person says they're not having children, and someone tells them they'll change their mind or that it's different when they're theirs..."
Before I got cancer and became infertile, people used to tell me that it would too late once we decide to have children and that we should try getting pregnant first. Guess what, we are indeed too late and I didn't regret any of my choice. So now they are saying I am sour-graping. Well, I realized that this is a battle I cannot win. So to thee I raise my white flag... you can say whatever you want.

8. Didn't you want to experience being pregnant?

I have to say that pregnant ladies are the most beautiful and adorable people in the world. But nope, that was something I didn't look forward to. I guess I already knew that it isn't my thing.

9. Do you have pets? Do you think you transfer your love and nurturing to your pets?

Does waking up in the middle of the night to let them potty in the toilet counts? ...and all the things I do and will do for my furkids (present and future)... yup, hail mother of dogs I am. :) the transfer is mutual. LOL!

10. What is the Best Part of Being Childfree?

(without sounding very selfish?) time and freedom to do whatever you want to do.

So there's my first 10 Childfree Tag Questions. And please note that my situation is different to anyone and I don't assume to speak for the majority who are in the same situation as mine. We all have different reasons for our choices. And yes, from time to time I would wonder how it would be like to have children of my own and it would forever remain something I would never know and it's okay.

I may have given up bearing children, "but I can still bear love and hope for those who are already born" D.H. Lawrence