horrible fight with mom-sorry long

I posted this on my HB too but was hoping to get so of your opinions too. I just had a huge fight with my mom that has left me in tears she called me and asked me to move in again because in her opinion it isn't appropriate to live with my fiancé until we are married well we were suppose to get married in November but found out we were pregnant in October and she begged me not to get married while pregnant even offered to pay for a big wedding if we waited well we decided to wait. Anyway she called and got upset saying she doesn't understand why I won't live with her until we are married and he can visit sometimes (she also told me I'm irresponsible if I marry him before our twins turn 2) and that my fiancé has no honor because he had sex with me when we weren't married and that she would teach our kids better i don't agree with her views but I love my mom and she isn't well so I try to be patient but I'm so hurt and just want her to understand that just because I don't agree with her on everything doesn't mean that Im not responsible and won't be a good parent. Am I wrong or crazy? Sorry this is so long I just needed to get it out.

I posted this on my HB too but was hoping to get so of your opinions too. I just had a huge fight with my mom that has left me in tears she called me and asked me to move in again because in her opinion it isn't appropriate to live with my fiancé until we are married well we were suppose to get married in November but found out we were pregnant in October and she begged me not to get married while pregnant even offered to pay for a big wedding if we waited well we decided to wait. Anyway she called and got upset saying she doesn't understand why I won't live with her until we are married and he can visit sometimes (she also told me I'm irresponsible if I marry him before our twins turn 2) and that my fiancé has no honor because he had sex with me when we weren't married and that she would teach our kids better i don't agree with her views but I love my mom and she isn't well so I try to be patient but I'm so hurt and just want her to understand that just because I don't agree with her on everything doesn't mean that Im not responsible and won't be a good parent. Am I wrong or crazy? Sorry this is so long I just needed to get it out.

The last time I got into a fight with my mother was the biggest mistake of my life. She died that night. I now live with regret and shame for letting my anger and selfishness get the best of me. You never know what tomorrow may bring. Please try to work things out with your mom. You are very lucky to still have her!!

The last time I got into a fight with my mother was the biggest mistake of my life. She died that night. I now live with regret and shame for letting my anger and selfishness get the best of me. You never know what tomorrow may bring. Please try to work things out with your mom. You are very lucky to still have her!!

Im sorry for your loss I know I am lucky to have her and tried not to fight with her I told her I loved her before we hung up I'm just upset. I'm worried something like that will happen and have horrible anxiety over it.

Im sorry for your loss I know I am lucky to have her and tried not to fight with her I told her I loved her before we hung up I'm just upset. I'm worried something like that will happen and have horrible anxiety over it.

"Mom, I am an adult and I will make my own decisions just as you have made your own throughout your adult life. I also expect you to stop making belittling comments about my future husband. If you choose to continue making negative comments I will choose to distance myself from you."

"Mom, I am an adult and I will make my own decisions just as you have made your own throughout your adult life. I also expect you to stop making belittling comments about my future husband. If you choose to continue making negative comments I will choose to distance myself from you."

So she blames a grown man for having sex with a grown woman? Unfortunately, people do this when they know you are getting something from them. Pay for your own wedding when you want to get married. The babies are coming and you don't need her approval. If she can't respect you, I would deal with her from a distance. Explain to her that you don't need the stress she is causing.

So she blames a grown man for having sex with a grown woman? Unfortunately, people do this when they know you are getting something from them. Pay for your own wedding when you want to get married. The babies are coming and you don't need her approval. If she can't respect you, I would deal with her from a distance. Explain to her that you don't need the stress she is causing.

Yes she does even though I told her it takes two to tango and am just as responsible for having sex as he is. I think the thing that is upsetting me the most is that she begged us to wait and is now upset because we aren't married but doesn't want me to marry him right now (it makes no sense to me) and we told her last month that we appreciated her offering to pay for the wedding but that the more we thought about it we couldn't justify spending a lot of money on a wedding (even if its not our money) when we will have two baby boys to care for. Thank you guys for your advice.

Yes she does even though I told her it takes two to tango and am just as responsible for having sex as he is. I think the thing that is upsetting me the most is that she begged us to wait and is now upset because we aren't married but doesn't want me to marry him right now (it makes no sense to me) and we told her last month that we appreciated her offering to pay for the wedding but that the more we thought about it we couldn't justify spending a lot of money on a wedding (even if its not our money) when we will have two baby boys to care for. Thank you guys for your advice.

Go to the court house and get married. Why are you having her make all your major life decisions? If you want to get married get married and start standing up for yourself. I love myMother, but she loves me enough to respect my decisions as an adult even when she doesn't agree with them. List to rsp's advice and stand up for your adult decision. Time to grow up and stand on your own two feet now because you are going to be a parent soon.

Go to the court house and get married. Why are you having her make all your major life decisions? If you want to get married get married and start standing up for yourself. I love myMother, but she loves me enough to respect my decisions as an adult even when she doesn't agree with them. List to rsp's advice and stand up for your adult decision. Time to grow up and stand on your own two feet now because you are going to be a parent soon.

You're old enough to be treated like a child. To her, you're still her baby. Try to convince her that she does not have to worry about you and your situation. Your mom must be lonely and living alone so she's telling you to move in with her again.

You're old enough to be treated like a child. To her, you're still her baby. Try to convince her that she does not have to worry about you and your situation. Your mom must be lonely and living alone so she's telling you to move in with her again.

You have to decide if you are an adult or a child and act accordingly. If you decide you are an adult then take control of your life back and start making your own decisions. It's crazy to be upset with her because she's upset that you aren't married when she asked you not to etc. Ultimately the decision was YOURS. You've already set some bad precedents with her so you will have to struggle with her to get control back. But it will only become harder and harder to do so if you wait. Pay for your own wedding if you want to get married it doesn't have to be big or elaborate. Surely you can see the personal cost is way too high to have her pay for it. Kids have their parents pay their way not adults. GL to you.

You have to decide if you are an adult or a child and act accordingly. If you decide you are an adult then take control of your life back and start making your own decisions. It's crazy to be upset with her because she's upset that you aren't married when she asked you not to etc. Ultimately the decision was YOURS. You've already set some bad precedents with her so you will have to struggle with her to get control back. But it will only become harder and harder to do so if you wait. Pay for your own wedding if you want to get married it doesn't have to be big or elaborate. Surely you can see the personal cost is way too high to have her pay for it. Kids have their parents pay their way not adults. GL to you.

If my mom said this to me we would no longer be speaking. My DH and I have an understanding that we are in this together and it's our family. The fact that she thinks she can raise your kids better than you can is a serious lack of respect. Good luck with her.

If my mom said this to me we would no longer be speaking. My DH and I have an understanding that we are in this together and it's our family. The fact that she thinks she can raise your kids better than you can is a serious lack of respect. Good luck with her.

Thank you all for the advice we talked it out this morning and she said she understands about respecting my wishes with the boys when the come. She said she is having a hard time because me living with him makes her feel like I don't respect her views I told her I do but I have my own views . I really feel like we got somewhere so I guess time will tell. Thank you guys :)

Thank you all for the advice we talked it out this morning and she said she understands about respecting my wishes with the boys when the come. She said she is having a hard time because me living with him makes her feel like I don't respect her views I told her I do but I have my own views . I really feel like we got somewhere so I guess time will tell. Thank you guys :)

Oh my gosh, you should have just gotten married in November as planned. You only waited out of a selfish desire for a large expensive wedding. I would get married now, perhaps a little court house affair. Then involve your mom as much as possible in your pregnancy and your life. Her demands as they stand are unreasonable and unrealistic.

Oh my gosh, you should have just gotten married in November as planned. You only waited out of a selfish desire for a large expensive wedding. I would get married now, perhaps a little court house affair. Then involve your mom as much as possible in your pregnancy and your life. Her demands as they stand are unreasonable and unrealistic.

My mom is also judgmental and controlling...trust me from experience don't let her jeopardize your family..your babies and future hubby need to come first otherwise it'll cause more problems in the future with your husband... You make YOUR new little family a priority and of course we love our moms and hate to disappoint them because we need and want them in our life but they also need to realize we are adults and trying to control us isn't gonna make us think we're irresponsible kids still...stay strong, it's not your fault the way she is

My mom is also judgmental and controlling...trust me from experience don't let her jeopardize your family..your babies and future hubby need to come first otherwise it'll cause more problems in the future with your husband... You make YOUR new little family a priority and of course we love our moms and hate to disappoint them because we need and want them in our life but they also need to realize we are adults and trying to control us isn't gonna make us think we're irresponsible kids still...stay strong, it's not your fault the way she is

It's unfair of your mom to blame the fiance for getting you pregnant when you were also involved. It sounds like she has a problem with him and is trying to stall you from marrying him/ trying to break you up

It's unfair of your mom to blame the fiance for getting you pregnant when you were also involved. It sounds like she has a problem with him and is trying to stall you from marrying him/ trying to break you up

Is she unwell like mentally? I don't mean to be rude but she sounds like a massive control freak. Why would you move out from your partner and twins? Sounds like she wants more control over you and the kids. Don't do it!!!

Is she unwell like mentally? I don't mean to be rude but she sounds like a massive control freak. Why would you move out from your partner and twins? Sounds like she wants more control over you and the kids. Don't do it!!!

wasn't this part of a plot line on "the Tudors"? 1500s called, they want their standards of living back. you do what is best for you two! she will eventually just have to deal. put your feet down and tell her hey, this is my life I do things at my pace. I love you I want to incorporate you however Im not asking for unsolicited advice.

wasn't this part of a plot line on "the Tudors"? 1500s called, they want their standards of living back. you do what is best for you two! she will eventually just have to deal. put your feet down and tell her hey, this is my life I do things at my pace. I love you I want to incorporate you however Im not asking for unsolicited advice.

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