Weird Ways to Stop Procrastinating (and yes, this is largely for my own benefit.) by Madeline Maurer

“Wait…It’s already 10:30? How?” You glare at your phone in shock. “But I was only on Youtube for, like, twenty minutes…Uh oh…” You look back at your unfinished project, your heart dropping like a boulder to the bottom of your stomach. Scrambling, you snatch the glue and Sharpies off of your desk and submerge yourself in the clouds of paper and ink that trashes the room. The next morning, you shamefully drag yourself into your class, eyes barely open and project in hand.

But how do I overcome this tragedy? I hear you asking. Well, I am here to help you out! Here are some weird ways to stop procrastinating.

Set up your materials five minutes BEFORE you want to get started. Now, if you’re anything like me, you’re already groaning, but please hear me out. You are going to be more likely to actually get started when there is a constant reminder of your obligations. I am one to write things on my hand because it’s kinda hard to forget something when it is physically on your body, and in a place where you can always see it. If your textbooks are practically staring you in the face, it’s kinda hard to hold off studying.

Use a reward-based system. Do ten math problems, have a cookie. Finish your essay, spend some time on Instagram or texting with a friend. If you look forward to your project’s completion, you will obviously want to finish it faster. Plus, everything is way more rewarding when you work for it! (It’s like how if I see a pack of stickers in a store, I don’t even bother looking twice. But, if a teacher gives me a sticker after a test or something, I protect it like Gollum and the Ring of Power. MY STICKER!)

Tell someone else about what you need to do and when it needs to get done. You will feel more accountable if other people know what you need to do, too. A great way to do this could be to start a group chat with some friends and post when you start and finish your work. With this, you stay responsible and on task. The only flaw with this plan is that group chats may get side tracked…but not yours?

This next one applies if you absolutely must procrastinate. While your goal is looming over your head, think of some ideas for what you want to do. Say you have to write a story based on Mesopotamian life in Social Studies. While you are drawing all over your hand, think about what you want your main character’s name to be, how s/he should behave, what their motives are, etc. You won’t feel like you are doing any hard work, but you are actually creating the bare bones of your assignment. To motivate you more, think about the exciting parts of your project so you want to start!

Force yourself to start on right after school, work, or after you have just done something else. The reasoning is just like Newton’s law: Objects in motion tend to stay in motion, objects at rest tend to stay at rest. I was very interested when I found this technique because it seems so obvious but it’s so brilliant. It takes a familiar concept and flips it upside down so it can apply to our daily lives. Anyway, this rule does apply. You will be more willing to do work after you have just done work. Why stop when you’ve already made so much progress? It’ll be easier to work if you save the couch-potatoing for later.

Now that you’re done reading this list, go get some work done! The world is your oyster! Go off, my child!

Weird Ways To Procrastinate:
Okay, if you’re anything like me, you probably didn’t actually go through with any of the strategies listed. So, instead, here are a few ideas of how you can procrastinate…(reverse psychology at its finest)

Draw on your hand. There’s a reason why I can’t be trusted with ink. Too many happy faces to make out of freckles!

Try to pick up a new useless skill. A Brittany Spears impression would be a great one to try. Also singing with your mouth closed is a new possibility. Hey, who says you won’t go into ventriloquism when you’re older?

Find your alter ego. In other words, put together a stupidly awesome outfit that you’ll never wear again, add a cape to it, and there you have it! Your other self has appeared.
Plan your idea for a restaurant based on your OTP or another amazing theme. I won’t judge! Unleash your ideas!

Don’t just watch anime, BECOME ANIME! Reenact your favorite scenes from the anime you’re binge watching right now or simply go looking for a Death Note. Maybe one of the other Shinigami dropped one, too. Just be careful not to attempt to become the god of a new world.

Read more lists on how not to procrastinate, or write your own! This is self explanatory.

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The Orange and Black is the Wayland Middle School Newspaper. It is advised by Rachel Barker and Colin Meiselman and was founded in 2004 by Graeme Robinson. It is a production of Wayland Middle School Students.