Blanket Statements about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

I have always maintained that a person with DID is responsible for all behaviors and actions taken regardless of which alter part made the choice to act in a particular way. This is because each alter part is you. While each alter part might “feel” completely foreign to you (from the perspective of the host personality), each part is you. ~ Faith

A reader posted the following comment:

I’m sorry, but that’s just not true.

A) DID (or any serious mental or behavior disorder) effects different people in different ways -and to a wide variety of degrees. Blanket statements simply do not apply.

B) Furthermore, you can’t say that “all these parts are still YOU” when it’s impossible to define the nature/concept of Identity. There is no agreed upon, scientific definition for “Identity”
Ever study the field of A.I.? The biggest problem in creating an A.I., (and the reason we haven’t) is that we can’t really define “intelligence” -we need to know what the goal is in order to reach the goal. This is an example of, and the same point re “identity”.

I understand what you’re trying to say. But sometimes, there really IS nobody home; or the person that is home, has no concept of right and wrong. And I can tell you for a fact that happens. ~Touched with Fire

First, let me clarify that my comments were restricted to people diagnosed with DID or other forms of dissociative disorders. I completely agree with Touched by Fire that there are people who have no concept of right or wrong, but those are not people with DID – they are psychopaths and/or people with mental illnesses. (DID is not a mental illness.) It is possible for people to have both DID and a mental illness, but it would be the mental illness that causes the person to have no concept of right or wrong, not the DID.

I don’t know a thing about artificial intelligence, but I do know a lot about DID because I have lived with it for my entire life and have been healing from it since 2003. Yes, DID does affect different people in different ways. In fact, on Isurvive (a message board for child abuse survivors), a member provided the best definition I have ever heard of DID – it is a “create your own disorder” disorder. The variations in DID (and other dissociative disorders) are only limited by the creativity of the children “creating” it.

There are some blankets statements that do apply to all people with DID. All people with DID were severely traumatized as children on an ongoing basis (typically beginning by age six). You simply don’t get it any other way. If you did, then some Prisoners of War (POW) would develop DID, but they don’t, even when they have endured severe torture tactics on a daily basis over a period of years. My theory is that DID is a gift provided for young children who have no other way to escape the trauma. Maria Montessori observed that children through age six are in one stage of development that ends at age six, which is why she designed her school with age six being the magic age to move from one system of learning to another. I think there is something special about that stage of develop that gives children the gift of escaping the trauma through DID.

Of course, you can make blanket statements about the symptoms of DID – memory loss that is unaccounted for by addiction or another medical condition and the presence of two or more distinct identities (alter parts) that take control of the person’s behavior. In fact, the main difference between DID and other dissociative disorders is the presence or absence of alter parts. I have talked with people who have a diagnosis of Dissociative Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified (DD-NOS) whose experiences are very similar to my experience with DID, but they split into colors or in other ways instead of alter parts, which pushed them out of a DID classification.

One other blanket observation is just my own – I have yet to meet someone with DID who is not, to some extent, a “people pleaser.” My own theory is that DID is, in part, caused by the intense need to be different things to different people that are inconsistent with each other. For example, I needed to be a whore at night, a well-behaved daughter in the mornings, and a perfect student at school while “stuffing down” (not expressing) my reactions to the trauma. I had to be different things to different people, and I did this by “splitting myself” to make this happen.

Of course, I can only speak from my own experience and from what I have learned about other people’s experiences. The books I have read and the hundreds of people I have spoken with online who have healed (or are healing) from DID show dramatic improvement in their symptoms as they embrace each part as “me.” See the article Understanding Integration for more information on this topic (written by a clinician who has fully integrated from DID).

37 Responses

This stirs a lot of controversy. I’m a pleaser. I’ll take responsibility for what ever someone says I did, however, it creates a frustrating dichotomy. I don’t remember doing some things and years of having to apologize for it or make up another lame excuse has begun to take it’s toll – I’ve begun to question everyone and everything. So, for me, I’m not a fan of blanket statements, but whoever said DID is a do it yourself disorder is sooo right.

I’ve lived with DID for over 50 years. Have “owned” it and been healing and integrating since 2004. I tend to leave the question “could I do something that was contrary to the being I am” up in the air but have tried to trace my steps and actions. The purpose for that has been to be sure I never did anything harmful to my 4 children. Even with an extreme background of ritual abuse, my children say they have always received loving care. I am thankful beyond measure.
However, at a class reunion, I was shocked to find out I had a reputation as an easy slut. I don’t remember promiscuity in high school. But given my childhood, my lack of boundaries, my desire to please and just having given up on morality at that stage, it makes perfect sense. It wasn’t so much contrary to who I am, as it was all I knew.

Two things happened when I began to accept all my “parts” as me. First, I made a transition from victim to survivor…it gave me ameasure of ownership of my own life and actions I hadn’t experienced before. It allowed me to learn to have boundaries, too. Which is new.

The second thing was I chose to love the parts as they came up, came out, even did strange stuff, and in that they seemed to become freer to integrate into the whole of me. And in a side benefit, because they were me, i was learning to love myself. This is just how it has worked for me, but I realize everyone is so very different. I’m not finished yet, am in some of the darkest times of the process for me, so…who knows if I’ll learn otherwise. This just touched home. Hope it’s ok I went on and on.

I really appreciate this discussion on DID. I have been struggling through so much stuff, so many questions that at times it feels like my head is going to explode! Right now the thing that is giving me the most trouble is the not knowing what I have done. I don’t fear that I have physically hurt my children or anyone else. But through the years of my marriage there have been times my husband has questioned me about my behavior, specifically being flirty and obviously attracted to other men. This is so far from how I believe and see myself. But I am trying with everything I have to own these actions even though I still don’t have the memories of them. I don’t know if any of this makes sense but I just wanted to comment. Thanks again for everything you post here.

I truly believe that when my host personality married my husband, other parts did not. As far as I know, all of my parts have remained faithful to my husband, but if I later recover memories of an alter part having an affair, I would still see this as consistent with who that part of myself was while, at the same time, holding myself accountable for having an affair. I am one of those who became sex-averse in reaction to the sexual abuse, so I would be surprised to learn this about myself, but you never know exactly what is going to come up with DID, do you?

My multiple system drove my host personality to marry my husband as a form of safety. My experience in college was that I was raped whenever I didn’t have a boyfriend, but having a boyfriend offered me protection. Dating my husband in graduate school provided me protection there, and then marrying him provided me protection from my mother/abuser.

Because many of my alter parts saw marrying him as a means to an end rather than a vow, I could see how some of my alter parts could feel “not married” to him. Before anything thinks I am some terribly callous and calculating person, my host personality loved him very much when she married him. Integrating my host personality and viewing myself through my core has been very complicated when it comes to my marriage since parts of myself did not feel like they married him.

For me I am with touched with Fire. If you define me as a observable body by others in space than there is only one of me and all “parts” are really me.

I find the knowledge base of DID to be limiting and use the term multiple to get away from it.

I do not have a host. We have hosts of different groups. I was a multiple before I could speak.

The knowledge of the effects intense programing by cults who have centuries of experience if very limited. The effect of programing done pre-verbal is all but non-existent.

For me DID was a start. The known effects of trauma a start. I had to go in a different direction as what I experience is different.

I have a more complete memory of my life than most people. Which ever host is out may have no idea about what the others do or did. One of us always knows and we can always go back and remember if we have to do so.

A person that is not DID and an adult will do things that they would not otherwise have done if under control. Unless one believes that Patty Hurst would have robbed a bank if not under control.

Have you read “Safe Passage to Healing” by Chrystine Oksana? I consider it my “Bible” on ritual abuse and DID. She says that not every multiple system has a host, but many do. I suspect the fact that your ritual abuse started preverbally is one of the reasons why you don’t have a host. You need to have a “me” break into an “us” first, and it sounds like you never had a “me.”

You are definitely not alone in this. Chrystine Oksana talks about babies whose cult abuse began in the womb. If there was never safety, the baby’s (or fetus’) brain would have to start reacting even sooner.

I have seen so little written about the aftereffects of preverbal abuse. Make you feel like a trailblazer doesn’t it?

I decided 6 years ago not to read what others think. Kinda I do not need a source I am a source. Only about me.

I get antsy sometimes and to read articles that is about it.

The cults do a lot of pre-work before the child can speak. Terrifying them, having them sleep with gems and metal. Having them wear chains. Sensory deprivation and abandonment. Much work is done so a child will not scream or cry. I still have work to do on that.

While all this was going on I was learning to read. write draw maps and much work was done on developing a photographic memory all the time make sure I did not forget not to forget. Plus teaching me to be able to withstand torture by experiencing torture. All before I was three.

This is all outside the family which is why I am alive. My therapist and I seldom speak of the “mechanics” of all this I get all of that from the experts online.

That is what I like about this book. The author did a ton of research (and experienced) the mechanics of cult abuse, so a lot of those specifics are included in this book. Just know it is a resource if you are ever ready to try out a book. It is broken down into sections so you don’t have to read it like a book. I use it more like a reference book than a cover-to-cover book.

The problem with blanket statements, is that it only takes 1 person or 1 experience to make you wrong.
You can have a personality that’s 5 years old and thus really doesn’t know a lot about right vs. wrong -that doesn’t make him/her a sociopath. Which is just one possibility out of many.
By the way, I do not have “memory loss that is unaccounted for” as related to my own DID (so there goes one blanket statement)

So if you want to clarify something with “In my experience….” Then fine, you’re speaking from your own experience -which does not necessarily apply to every person on the planet with DID. Your life is not a universal truth; and what happens if you DON’T clarify such things and someone ends up walking around with the wrong information inside their head?

I used A.I. as an EXAMPLE of, an illustration of something else; something you just dismissed out of hand: you can look up the word “identity” in a dictionary and find a definition; this is so we can talk about it as a concept. But (this is where the illustration comes in) what IS ‘identity’? We don’t know. We can’t truly define/pinpoint a human being’s individual identity or even where it’s located. Don’t you think that has some bearing, on any assertive blanket statements re an Identity disorder? I’ve been living with, researching, and working with (survivors of abuse/trauma) my entire adult life.
Talking in absolutes will get people hurt.

“but I do know a lot about DID because I have lived with it for my entire life ” No, actually you know a lot about your experience with DID, not a lot about DID per se. There’s a difference. You can start smoking when you’re 15 and smoke 3 packs a day for 4 decades -this does not make you knowledgeable about the hundreds of different chemical compounds released by a burning cigarette.
“I think there is something special about that stage of develop that gives children the gift of escaping the trauma through DID.”
Actually, it’s a natural defense mechanism of the human brain; i.e. it’s something that the brain does, to protect you, to keep you safe -and sane- from something that it thinks is too overwhelming for you. The human brain is created/wired to do this; age is irrelevant.
So yes, the adult brain/mind can split off and create an alternate personality.

I’m not trying to argue with or pick a fight with you. But you’re talking to broken, hurting people; such people have filled my social and professional circles forever because I care. I know I’m accountable/responsible for what I pass on as information -and so are you. And some of your ‘information’ is incorrect. It’s just that simple.

Thank you for sharing your experience and perspective. I don’t have all of the answer and have never claimed to. This is why I very much appreciate readers jumping in and sharing their perspectives. I frequently tell readers to take what is useful and leave the rest. I did this myself when I was early into healing and looking for my own answers. I didn’t know about blogs at that time, so I turned to books and Isurvive (message board for child abuse survivors — http://isurvive.org/). Fellow child abuse survivors helped me along, and I hope to do the same for others.

I was apparently not clear in my comment about psychopaths because another reader read it the same way as you did. (I read that comment first because it was in my queue to be moderated.) Either a **person** is a psychopath or is not. An alter part can perceive the world from the perspective of a particular age and would view right or wrong from that age. I don’t think an alter part can be a psychopath, and I apologize if what I wrote gave that impression.

If you don’t have that symptom, many clinicians will diagnose you with DD-NOS instead of DID. I am not a psychologist and see their diagnostic criteria as viewing dissociative disorders from the outside-in. I view it from the inside-out, so my perspective is going to be different.

Re: AI, etc. — I just don’t want to get into a philosophical discussion about what identity is. That is not my interest. My interest is in healing from child abuse, which is accomplished by learning how to love and accept each part of yourself — memory, emotion, experience, etc. — as “me.” I really do believe that healing from child abuse, regardless of your diagnosis, is that “simple.” Unfortunately, simple is not “easy” — it is one of the hardest things that I have ever done and continue to do.

This is not the first time that readers have disagreed with me, and it won’t be the last. I am content to “agree to disagree,” and I don’t want this blog turned into a debate forum. The primary focus of this blog is healing from child abuse, and I want to keep that focus. Please take what is helpful to you (this is for all readers, not just twf) and leave the rest. :0)

I was curious about your statement that you don’t have memory loss unaccounted for. My therapist just recently diagnosed me with DID but I don’t lose time. I will go in the background but I’m always present and aware, at least to some degree. I can remember everything I’ve said and done, so I’ve been arguing with her that I don’t have this disorder. Can you explain a little more about your experience in regards to this aspect?

I have thought of somethings that I’m confused about regarding this topic.

What if you do not yet know all of your alters? Also, if an alter is anger or an angry part, how can a host or anyone know for certain what it will do given the nature of anger? What about children parts? Certainly a host personality would not consciously decide to suck his/her thumb as an adult in public…

It seems that if all behavior were consistent with the host personalities’ moral code, then why create the others like protector who do what the host cannot? And why is there lost time?

I think I understand the debate here, but I keep going back and forth with the questions in my head. I can relate to most everything being talked about here, that’s what makes it confusing~ I think it’s all possible! :-O

Please see my note below to twf explaining the difference between the “host” and the “core.” (I read the comments out of order.) You are correct that the host would not choose to behave like a child in public.

“It seems that if all behavior were consistent with the host personalities’ moral code, then why create the others like protector who do what the host cannot? And why is there lost time?”

The host is frequently inconsistent with other alter parts, which was the reason for the split in the first place. My host needed to be the “good little girl,” which was inconsistent with my anger, my shame, and my grief (all held by different alter parts). All of these parts are ME and belong with my core, but they are experienced as separate and contrary until I integrate them (love and accept them as “me” or as part of my core).

I have read very little of what you have written, but this thread caught my eye. I’ve only been aware that I have DID for a year and this past year has been a huge learning experience.

While I think you make some good points, your experiences, perspectives and healing maybe completely different many others. I’m not sure why you believe DID is not a mental illness because it is. It is a qualifiying mental illness for disability and medicare.

I don’t agree with your assessment that alters who do not know the difference between right and wrong are psychopaths. I have several alters with diagnoses that I do not have, but I don’t believe they are psychopaths. I do believe that they make decisions based on their experiences in environments that didn’t teach right and wrong. If they had the maturity and knowledge that I have, then I would not be so separated. Please keep in mind that I have no co-awareness.

A friend pointed me to your blog because she found hope and healing in your writing that she felt would be inspirational to me. I hope to find something here as you must know how hard it is to hold onto hope when things are so hard. But please, please (and this goes for anyone who deals with DID directly or indirectly) don’t make blanket statements that are hurtful or think that you are an expert on any case of DID outside of your own.

You said you are new to my blog, so I suspect you were likely triggered as you read what I wrote. Some of what you took away from my blog entry is not what I intended at all. Please let me clarify…

DID is a **disability**, not a mental illness. A mental illness, such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, has a biological base. While environmental factors can contribute toward triggering the symptoms, someone without the genetic makeup for a mental illness is not going to develop it. Mental illnesses can be managed (sometimes quite successfully) through medication, but a mental illness is not “curable.”

A disorder such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or DID is caused environmentally and has no biological foundation. I see DID as a gift to the abused child that is only viewed as a “disorder” once the trauma is no longer present. It is actually a brilliant way to survive ongoing trauma. A disorder has the potential of progressively healing without the use of medication because it is a mental disorder and not a mental illness. To me, this is an empowering difference. You are correct that there are places were all are lumped together for administrative purposes, but the difference between a biologically-based mental issue and an environmentally-based issue is HUGE.

Re: psychopaths — I don’t think an alter part can be a psychopath. Either a **person** is a psychopath or is not — being a psychopath is not something that can splinter off. Some alter parts are “frozen” in the age they were when the trauma began, so their knowledge of right and wrong can be limited by what a two-year-old or a five-year-old child would have viewed as right or wrong. That’s not a psychopath — that’s developmental behavior.

My blog frequently goes to dark places in the hopes of shining light. Please proceed with caution as you read it because parts can be triggering, and I cannot anticipate what will be triggering to any particular person. I never intentionally post anything hurtful and am always open to other perspectives. :0)

Mia,
It can easily be confusing. Different people use different words for the same concept, which may be different than the official/clinical terms. I don’t use the phrase “alter” or “alter parts”, and I don’t like the term “host” -which I assume means: the core personality (and if it doesn’t mean that, then I don’t know what it means). All of this just muddies the water. Basically it’s a wide-open area where many different things are possible.

There used to be a clear distinction between DID and MPD (multiple personality disorder), but then the DSM changed the labels -creating a lot of confusion and doing more harm than good- and decided to lump all/any type of personality disorder under the umbrella of “DID”. So now classic symptoms, or traits, of MPD are being used in conjunction with people who are not, in fact, MPD cases but have genuine DID. There’s been a blurring of the distinction between these 2 things.
E.g., “lost time” is a classic symptom of MPD but not of people with DID which is one of the ways we can differentiate between the 2. But as I said, differentiating between the 2 is less distinct now than it was ten years ago. “Lost time” is like having a blackout; like I find myself sitting at the bus stop at 5pm but the last thing I remember is reading a book in my room at 10am, and having no memory or knowledge of what happened during that time period. Lost Time can be a period of hours or days. This can happen when a different personality takes over for awhile, for people who don’t know about their different/alternate personalities. (Which again, is one of the differences between having MPD or DID)

All of your questions are basically about the differences between having MPD and DID. Which is going to get confusing ’cause they re-defined these 2 things. But how they used to be defined made a lot more sense, and certainly seems more applicable (in my experience and observation); so I stick with that.

(Think of it as, science suddenly declares Pluto is no longer a planet. Why? ‘Cause we discovered another planet even farther away. Does it make any sense? No. So it gets re-classified why? ‘Cause we say so. Okay, great.)

I find it best to think in terms of I am a multiple not DID. This is not a worse than thing it is a it is different thing.

The DID concept kinda fits sometimes at times it is more than unhelpful. In a real way I held onto the DID concept as to be not so alone and until I could better understand the difference.

Typically when I try and explain the difference the reply is well that is really DID when it is not.

I have many “hosts” and the concept of DID pretty much is a description of the hosts.

I often say what would Copernicus think. There was much valid information that the sun went around the earth, it was accepted and all that information was used to prove that the sun went around the earth after all that was what most people observed and therefore it was the way it was. Note: There is no written information that indicates anyone ever thought the earth was flat. It was thought to be a dome or a pile of dirt. After all you can climb a hill and see the earth is curved.

You said: “I don’t like the term “host” -which I assume means: the core personality (and if it doesn’t mean that, then I don’t know what it means).”

They are different things. I got the term “host” from the book “Safe Passage to Healing,” and I use the term “core” because that is what I feel inside. Let me explain the difference as I mean them:

The “core” is the part of my spirit that is whole. As I started healing, alter parts started releasing their memories, processing their emotions, and healing. That part of myself that holds those memories (as well as those I have always held) is my core — the “fullest” part of myself. Does that make sense?

A host personality is an alter part that serves as the DID person’s “face” when not triggered. In my case, my original child went to sleep when I was 7, and I woke up not knowing who I was. I named that part of myself “Faye” (which was my first name — I had been called by my middle name before this — and I refused to answer to my middle name anymore). Faye was very innocent and was sheltered from the abuse. She had no awareness whatsoever of the abuse, so she could pass a lie detector test about it, even though my body was being repeatedly abused.

The host personality is frequently the part that enters therapy with no memory of the abuse and is freaked out about flashbacks that feel completely foreign. Once I faced that I had been vaginally raped, I no longer had a need for a separate host personality, and she integrated into my core. At that point, I stopped losing time. I still have alter parts, but when they come out, I am also copresent. My core is getting “fuller” as I continue to heal.

For what it’s worth, I am not overly wild about the term “host personality.” It sounds like a leech to me. I only use it because that was the terminology used in “Safe Passage to Healing,” and I don’t know what else to call it.

It could be said that my core was and is fractured or that my spirit is sometimes outside of my body or that it never entered in my body at birth or it could be said I have no core. Or it could be said that when my core is inside my body I am/was autistic.

It could not be said with any credibility that parts split off from a core or that there is a host personality that serves as my face.

I did not do it but had I used different names with four of my therapists they could confer about me and never make the connection that I was the same person that is how different we are.

Thanks, and thank you for reading and participating as much as you do. You have opened my eyes to the world of healing from preverbal abuse, which is something I suspect that I still need to heal from as well (although not to the degree of what you have been through). :0)

You are most welcome and I consider it an honor as well as helpful to participate.

I am finding that the time when I was becoming verbal and the changes in how my brain worked to be very difficult. This makes sense as that is a time you can start to think and express in words. I don’t want to is different when it can be verbalized both in when you are listened to and when you are not. In a real way it is a bridge.

Thought you might want to know that 80% of those Dx as bi-polar report sexual abuse. Makes me think it is not biological based. I carried that Dx around for 5 years or so. Back when males were no DID or what ever and only 1 in 10 were abused sexually.

Thanks for the information. I don’t know much about bipolar disorder. My friend’s father had it, but I don’t know a lot about his history. It was h@#$ on her as his child. :0(

I know more about schizophrenia because my mother has it. There is a genetic component, but it can be triggered by trauma. So, two people with the same genetic predisposition could wind up having different results based upon environmental factors with the one experiencing trauma triggering the schizophrenia while the other does not. I am not sure if the same is true for bipolar or not, but that could be a possible explanation if true.

Okay, so you’re using a phrase, “host”/”host personality” that you got from someone who wrote a book. A phrase that no one else is going to be familiar with unless they read the same book; and we don’t know anything about this author and where/how they came up with it. Which, by the way is not a phrase I’ve seen in any of the medical journals or research literature. I think borrowing someone’s invented phrases leads to a confusing and/or misleading conversation.

Your post of Jan 11 at 803 am, is filled with factual errors. Not according to me, but according to various psych, science, and brain research publications. As I pointed out: there’s a difference between speaking from a point of knowledge vs a point of personal experience. If you “don’t know much about bipolar disorder” then why are speaking about it with ANY kind of authority? The same goes for mental illness in general. To be quite candid: you speak with authority about subjects you know very little (if anything) about -this is obvious from the rife amount factual errors you post, and I can give you the journal citations in such instances if you want them- but a vulnerable audience is going to respond to the way you sound.
I understand what your goal, what your intention is; but do you understand that speaking about things you have no real knowledge about is irresponsible, risky, and potentially harmful?

“I just don’t want to get into a philosophical discussion about what identity is. That is not my interest. My interest is in healing from child abuse, which is accomplished by learning how to love and accept each part of yourself”
So….you want people to accept each part of their Self, yet you you’re not interested in and don’t know what the concept means.
That’s a contradictory statement. And you’re here to help people with identity disorders -without bothering to learn what an identity is?

I have been nothing but respectful in my responses to you, but I have had enough with your tone and am no longer going to continue having a discussion with you about this. If you don’t like my blog, then don’t read it.

If you have not read the book “Safe Passage to Healing” by Chrystine Oksana, then you are missing out on one of the best resources for survivors of ritual abuse. At least read the book before you belittle it. It is the equivalent of “The Courage to Heal” for sexual abuse survivors, which I trust you have heard of. Laura Davis, who one of the authors of “The Courage to Heal,” has endorsed the book.

Numerous readers have told me that they have found hope in healing through my words. I have never claimed to be a psychology professional. I have always shared that I am adult survivor of child abuse who has made a lot of progress in healing and is continuing to heal, with both good days and bad. I write the blog for them.

Wow. I am reading all this debate with genuine shock…Faith, thank you for all you do in sharing your perspective on this blog. I would hope that all readers would remember that that is all this is…your perspective, your journey and your input. As a person with DID and also who is in the mental health field, i find your site and insight to be quite enlightening. There have been many times that I have “taken what I liked and left the rest”…and I respect your desire to keep this a place to share and not a place to debate. I’ve noticed that some of the comments over the past year have taken a turn in that direction, and i truly hope that does not discourage you at ALL from sharing.

Thank you for all of the energy you put into your blog, research mentioned, books referenced, etc.

I am struggeling with this ‘DID’ very much right now, and Im afarid I will reach noone here either who will be able to understand me. On my blog I wrote about DID being an attachment disorder and why on earth do we have to call it DID when there are NOT different personalities in the body, there is one body and one psyche, the pyche is split into parts by truama because we needed to attach to the very perosn who wanted us dead, so yes, we split and our spyche is fragmented BUT there are not perosnalities in the body or the psyche. I have written about this on my blog in the post diisorganised attachement vs DID. I welcome replies but most of all I would welcome some insight and someone who can help me feel compassion again for others who would like to be called DID, I have this unacceptance and ignornace withine me that is usually not me [ha the irony!!] and I am wondering where it is coming from but most importahtly i would like someone to help me find a reason why it should be called DID and not disorgansied attachemnt [dis] order? Please take a look at the post and tell me what your feel about it, I am struggling greatly with this right now. It is eating me up and I cant seem to calm down.

I find your theory fascinating. I know a lot about attachment disorders from interacting with foster and adoptive parents who are raising children with reactive attachment disorder. I see a lot of similarity in myself and what they report, but I also see a lot of differences. I understand a lot of the attachment issues because I feel and/or have felt them.

Let me mull this over. Can you post a link over to your blog? I will put this topic in a queue to write about on my blog. :0)

In the majority of extreme abuse cases involving RA or other types of organized crime, victims are forced to participate in violent acts and other scenarios they wouldn’t otherwise choose, and most commonly this occurs while in various alter states. While I understand your strong blanket statement on responsibility, I worry it might serve to reinforce some survivors’ guilt and shame, which I believe is the opposite of your intent in your blog work here. Forgive me if I missed an applicable qualifying statement.

Most of the people I’ve known who had DID had very structured systems containing alters and groups of alters who were subjected to Pavlovian conditioning sessions exactly so that they would behave according to the wishes of other people and not the Core or host or any other central aspect of the original.

In those cases, subjects are absolutely not responsible for the actions of their externally controlled or slave alters. I believe a group of legal professionals addressed this issue back in the 90’s and they came to the same conclusion. These slave alters are used as tools, just like weapons. We don’t blame the weapon for the crime, we blame its user.

However, as someone with DID, I do believe that I am responsible for breaking down that kind of splitting and conditioning as soon as I become aware of it, and have adequate support and safety in place, but that’s just my personal belief.

You are totally wrong DID alters are literally different people simply residing in one brain/body. I have DID and in my expieriences there are 4 ways of disassociating. 1. The regular kind that every one goes through every day. 2. (the way you think it is) you have their emotions, point of view, ect…. 3. You have the emotions, pain, senses, ect…. But you can not control it (sometimes people use that as an expression, but not in this case), it is kind of like playing Pac-man with out putting a quarter in, you are unable to control your muscles.

I have learned through interacting with numerous people with DID, DD-DOS, and other similar Dx that DID is kind of like a “create your own disorder” disorder that is only limited by the imagination of the child. So, the way a person splits can vary wildly from person to person.

In my case, I have/had (have been healing for a long time and no longer lose time, so I guess I technically don’t qualify as DID any longer) polyfragmented DID, so my experience was different from yours. I had hundreds of parts, some that were different personalities but most that were fragments, holding just one memory (or part of a memory) or emotion.

I don’t like the statement. Anyone who deeply understands ritual abuse and programming would not make that statement. I think it would hurt more people then it would help. However I believe part of integrating is taking responsibility for what you are remembering and what you are acnoledging as self. If you don’t want to integrate then you need someone who can work with those altered parts that are or have doen things that you wouldn’t. It is possible to have one part that is very loving and emotional and a part that is a pshychopath and the two not even aware of eachother and I think the abusers who created this are to blame. I knew a man online who was an abuser and I told his nicer alter host to check himself into a hospital when he came into awareness of an abusive alter. He wined that he didnt like the hospital and I told him its a lot better then allowing yourself to hurt someone. This is the type of thing that can be controlled and he is fully responsible for. I stopped talking to him after that and saw him for the selfish abusive person he was. But this is one side of it. The other side is alters that kind good people are completly unaware of that are drug induced brainwashed and carrying out wicked acts trained on them by there programmers.