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Over the past few weeks, four men have been vilified and
demonised by the Estonian media. Priit Toobal, Kajar Lember, Tiit Ojasoo and myself.
One man is accused of having an affair with an underage person, another is
accused of accepting bribes, a third was caught on camera beating and kicking a
woman and the fourth myself what did I do?

For those of you not familiar with Estonian politics, I
left my party the Social Democrats and taken a job with the city, which is controlled
by a rival party the Centre Party. I started my new job the end of May
2016. I don't want to comment of the merits of the cases, the other three men who have been subject to abuse. It is for them to defend themselves, but in my case since it is tax payers money we are talking about I have to explain myself.

The right of centre party Isamaa ja Res Publica Liit (IRL) think I am a greedy self-serving bastard
and a traitor to the nation. Jegveni Ossinovski, chairman of the Social
Democrats, thinks I have brought disgrace onto myself.

“Very disappointed in you wrote one reader. You have shown
that you are bribable.”

“You are a lost brother (kadunud vend) to Estonians now,”
wrote another commentator.

Personal friends have been very upset with me. One friend, a
former student, now a rising star in the IRL couldn’t even look at me, he just
scowled. My advisor in the City Council reacted in a similar way. At last week’s
Tallinn City Council sitting, she just handed me my things, without even
looking at me and stormed off. I felt like John Snow in Game of Thrones just
before he is stabbed. “Traitor.”

Years ago, I anticipated that this would happen someday.

In my book Väike Valge Riik (Small white Nation) which came
out in 2012, I wrote in the introduction.

(I realise that at some point in the future I will face
real hostility. There will be serious rage against me. But it will only happen
when Estonians start to think of me as one of them).

So on one level, I was somewhat relieved that I turned out
to be right. I would have been worried and upset had there been no abuse, no
ridicule, no anger, just silence.

I was even touched by the “lost brother” thing. I hope it isn’t
too presumptuous of me to say I was actually proud of Rainer Vakra, Magnus
Tshakna, Jegnevi Ossinovski, Hanno Matto and everybody else who was so angry at
me.

And it will get worse before it gets better.

Whereas some Estonians were angry at me, Westerners, at
least the ones I know, were not. They saw it differently.

“That’s great you should do that,” said one.

“I don’t get it what was the catch. Why did you even
consider not doing it?” said another.

“It’s like being hired by Richard Nixon,” I explained to
him

He still didn’t get it.

There is clear division between the way Estonians see the
World and the way outsiders see it. All my personal Western friends and
acquaintances whether they live in Estonia or not, whether they know a lot
about Estonia or nothing at all, thought I am doing something good. A lot of Estonians I know think I am doing
something bad.

There was one exception to this. I will come to this in a
minute.

Some Estonians are very Westernised, they also “got it”, they
got it immediately. I didn’t have to explain it to them. I called two people
before I made the decision.

One of them, is very influential, well connected and no
friend of the Centre Party. I thought she would try to talk me out of
it. Instead she said: “No you have to do that, not for yourself, but for the
country. You are going to get a lot of abuse but you still have to do that.”

Before I get to the nitty gritty why I quit and why I felt
I had to take this job let’s clear up some of the nonsense.

You took
this job for the moneyFalse. I have read some outrageous figures
for what I will be earning, €5000 a month €6000 a month, €9000. Nonsense. Logically,
it is impossible that the city is ever going to pay that kind of money. It
would cause resentment with other city employees, who I have to work with. My actually salary in €2100 Gross (bruto) a
month.

I appreciate that a lot of people in Estonia can’t earn
that kind of money and I am grateful for the opportunity, but it is not an outrageous sum.
It’s less money than I was earning in the UK before I came to Estonia eight
years ago, it’s less money even than the average wage is in Britain, it’s a lot
less than the average wage in London and the South East and here’s the kicker,
it’s less money than I earned before I took this job.

I was doing freelance work for Euromonitor a market
research company. Since the company is based in the UK, the pay is good. This
is also the reason I haven’t been writing anything, I have been so tied up with
this work I just haven’t had time.

There is a very simple way for clever journalists to work
out my salary. As a city councillor I am required to declare my income and
assets every year. This information is publicly available. My income from Sihtasutus
Tallinna Arengu- ja Koolituskeskus is declared automatically. All a clever
journalist needs to do is to check and they can see that I am telling the
truth,

You
are doing this to enhance your own career. True somewhat. One of
my oldest friends who lives in the UK, but knows Estonia well said this to me.
It stung because I realised that he was correct.

My job is to attract positive media and investment into the
city by generating interest in the city’s cultural life, opportunities for
entrepreneurs and technological and urban development. This has to be done at a
municipal level since economically Tallinn is Estonia. It is also tacitly
though not officially within my remit to try to promote the areas around
Tallinn.

The job also has a technical aspect because I am also to write,
edit and translate news content. There aren’t very many people speaking English
as a mother tongue who can translate from Estonian into English and are also
professional writers.

Actually I have been encouraging people who are wealthier
than me to come to Estonia and invest for years. Now I get a chance to do this
in an official capacity. Since I will be spending a lot of time in Brussels and
flying all over Europe, yes of course it is an opportunity to make contacts and
raise my profile.

So yes the job enhances my career but it comes with a cost.
I am perfectly aware that I might have blown the opportunity to work in a
public job at a national level.

I feel what I am doing is in the best interests of the
country. I believe with my background as reporter and newspaper editor, native
English speaker. I am best qualified to do this job and obviously the city
powers think so too.

You
are doing this to spite the Social Democrats because they didn’t promote you or
give you a job.

False. It’s true I had a difficult relationship with the
party. But it was based on ideologically differences not career. I have said
repeatedly and consistently from the start that I am a social liberal not a social democrat. The decision to stay in the
coalition was wrong. Some of their most cherished policies are wrong.

Their communication is horrible. When I stood for the
European Parliament, the party put out web flyers on social media asking people
to vote for me: “to prove you are not racist.” They also had flyers with,
“prove you don’t hate women, vote Marianne Mikko.” and “Prove you don’t hate
Russians vote for Jevgeni Ossinovski.” Unbelievable. This was insulting the intelligence
of the voters.

The web flyer with me went viral, I was never informed, the
first I heard of it was when a friend got in touch in alarm and asked: “Do you
realise what they are doing with your campaign?”

I later found out that this idea came from the very top,
the party leadership. A dozen people in a room and no-one thought to say: “No we
shouldn’t do that, that’s a bad idea.”

It was then that I started to really wonder if I want to be
in a party that could be so contemptuous of its own voters.

Jevgeni Ossinovski has said that I asked for a ministry
job. This is not true, I don’t think I have had a proper conversation with
Ossinovski, or Indrek Saar, or Sven Mikser, ever! I gave a speech at a conference
once last year. Ossinovski was there also. Ossinovski, me and the organisers
had dinner at a table together. We barely said two words to each other. I didn’t
read anything into it. I just assumed he is an introverted person. So no I
never asked Ossinovski for a job. I never asked for a ministry job, nor would I, for selfish reasons. There is absolutely no job security.

I am not a spiteful person. I don’t hold grudges; I am too old
for it. Life is too short. Most of the people in the party are good people. I
am sorry that I upset them. I am sorry I upset my advisor she’s a very nice
lady, but I don’t regret it.

By
doing this you are helping to keep Savisaar in power.False,
false and again false. This is just a silly idea and I can prove it. It’s based
on a misunderstanding of how the local government electoral system works. The
theory is, if the law changes and Riigikogu members can also sit in the City
Council, the so-called Kadri Simson gang will come down from the big house and
try to kick out Savisaar. Savisaar is not even the Mayor at the moment, but in
the highly unlike event that the law is passed before the local election, and
the even more unlikely event there is yet another coup attempt; the Social
Democrats could just as easily send Andres Anvelt down from Riigikogu to take
my spot. In the event of a power struggle, I wouldn’t be in the city council.

In any case, I’m sure my handlers don’t mind me saying that
I was offered this job when it first became available months ago, long before
the Simson power grab. I turned it down flat. I am given to understand my
employers were looking at someone else, it didn’t pan out. Then they approached
me again, and this time I was more receptive. Why I changed my mind you will
find out in a minute.

By
associating with the Centre Party you are making them look good. True. Obviously
true. The Centre Party wants to perceived as a modern progressive party. As the
only international person in Estonian politics I could help with that. There
are ideological similarities. My opposition to quotas is the same one as the
Centre Party it’s also the same position that Dave Benton has. I have met with
people from all sides of the party, except Savisaar, I have never met Savisaar.
And they all are very keen for me to join the party.

The Social Democrats think the Centre Party is like EKRE (The far right Eurosceptic party). “They
are like brothers,” one social democrat said to me, but I can’t imagine EKRE
being so keen for me to join them. It seems unlikely somehow.

As for joining the Centre Party, at every meeting I’ve had
one condition which is non-negotiable. I need an assurance there is no Russian
money in the party.

By
associating with the Centre Party you are making Savisaar look good. True
again, he is the party chairman, see above.

Which brings us to the crux of the matter. Why am I doing
it? Why did I change my mind?

Nobody in Europe cares one jot about the internal politics
of Estonia!

If I am flying over Europe as an official representative of
the city the only thing decision makers, and the media are going to notice is
that a black man with a Muslim name and an English accent is representing the
whitest country in Europe.

A lot of people voted for me
because they wanted Estonia to be seen as modem, cosmopolitan and
tolerant. As a society which is
successful and flexible, all the things Ossinovski waffles on about. If I meet
up with the mayor of London, or the Mayor of Copenhagen, they are going to
notice and remember.

If Estonia wants a positive image,
this is going to help. It’s not a whole solution but it’s going to help. The
fact it’s coming from me, not just coming from an Estonian, is more
persuasive.

It’s more crucial than ever
the Estonia gets good PR because what most people who are not involved in
international journalism are not aware is there is less publicity about Estonia
now than five years ago. There are less reporters writing about Estonia, or
based here. And the publicity that there is, is bad. Estonia is backward,
Estonians are fascist, Estonia is about to be invaded by Russia anyway. It is
part of my job to counter this narrative, I might not be successful but I
should at least try.

But that’s not all. I
had a dialogue with my handlers which persuaded me, it went something like
this.

“You do realise you are sending someone with a Muslim name
to Brussels?”

“Why is that a problem?”

“Brussels was just bombed by terrorists, Muslim
terrorists.”

“You’re not a terrorist, are you?”

“No”

“Then what’s the problem? “

I was born in England. England is a Christian country.
Since my parents settled there in the 1950s they raised me as a Christian. I
went to an Anglican church I was a choirboy in a Christian cathedral. I read
the bible, memorised the Lord Prayer. I had a typical English Anglican
upbringing.

But Abdul is a Muslim name and my father was a Muslim. One
of the myths about Islam is they want everyone to convert to Islam, actually a
lot of Muslim, convert to Christianity or allow their children to convert. Most
of the younger members of my family are now Christian and active Christians.

My father could read Arabic letters, and begun to take his
faith more seriously towards the end of his life. He went on pilgrimage to
Mecca. He was never a bad man but he became a better man because of his faith.

Initially when I was approached and offered this job, I
turned it down without hesitation, because “people will say I am working for
Savisaar.”

Then Paris happened, then Cologne happened, then Brussels
happened. That was the last straw. I was approached again quite soon after this
and this time, I was prepared to listen.

For my father’s sake if not for my own I had to do
something to persuade people not all Muslims are bad.

Who have I betrayed? How have I betrayed the country? I say not
sticking up for my father’s memory because I am afraid of nasty press would be the
real betrayal. A lot of EKRE minded people are going to hate the fact that a
black man with a Muslim name is representing Tallinn on an international level.
That’s why I should do it. That’s why I have to do it.

People have embraced me so fully that they have forgotten
that I’m not Estonian. And yes, I have divided loyalties. So respect to
Ossinovski, Vakra and Tshkana.

The last thing I’d like to say is this, I have been living
in Estonia for quite a long time now. I don’t embezzle funds, beat up actresses,
or burst into women’s cabin rooms. I don’t gamble, take drugs, drink, smoke, womanise, or
listen to hip-hop. I lease a car but I still get on a bus to go to work or
cycle., I am not interested in high fashion or celebrity culture or ostentatious
displays of wealth. It’s a small country, if I was up to no good, people would
have worked it out by now.

I have been transparent here about what I’m doing, why I’m
doing it and how much I am earning. Unlike Donald Trump, I have a thick skin so
I don’t need approval but its tax payers’ money so I needed to explain it.

When I first came to Estonia everybody hated me “The man
who upsets Estonians,” I was called, then some people liked me… they liked me
so much they put me on the city council, I’m in cycle which I can’t avoid or
change; villain, hero, villain, hero,
villain,pause, big hero. Like
Severus Snape in Harry Potter it’s my destiny and I have to face it.

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