January 28, 2011

AAA and My Kinda Woman

Recently I went to check out a new apartment on the lower level of a middle-aged couple’s house. It had been raining, and the grassy “sidewalks” were a bit saturated. I didn’t think much of it and parked my truck next to a big hedge on the grass. After viewing the apartment, and trying to make a good impression on the owners of the house, I returned to my truck to take off and go sacrifice tourists to the gods of all things real estate. But my truck wouldn’t budge. I was stuck. Stuck in the mud

No problem, I thought, AAA to the rescue! But there was a problem with my genius plan. I HAD LEFT MY PHONE AT HOME. If you know me, you probably know how attached I am to my phone. I am a phone ninja. So this kind of ninja-negligence is pretty rare.

I spent about 10 minutes staring at my steering wheel trying to figure out what to do. Apparently, this does not make cars move.

Eventually I had to break down and go back to the house and ask for help. The guy was very nice. He lent me his phone and I called AAA.

DU NUH NUH NUH NUH BATMAN! I mean triple AAA.

A very scrufy AAA man shows up to dislodge my car. Now, if you remember from the beginning of my story, and I’m sure you do, I parked next to a hedge. In my masterful attempts to drive away from the mud trap, I had gotten further wedged into the hedge. So he warned me, there may be scratches. It went a little something like this. And it made. my. day.

Scruffy AAA man: Now, you do know that there may be scratches on your truck

Me: Yeah…

Scruffy AAA man: And you do know that when I pull your truck away, it may get more scratches. Is this okay with you?

Me: Well, I mean, if there’s nothing you can do about it there’s nothing you can do about it. And anyways, I mean, I think I’ll be okay. It’s a truck.