Friday, 15 June 2012

Wedding dresses and vegetarian bacon

Since I moved into my new house I've been sleeping incredibly deeply, and have therefore been having the most vivid dreams I've ever, ever experienced. I actually think they're not letting me get any kind of good sleep, since it's like watching a film all night long. Anyway, one of the latest instalments featured one of my colleagues barging into my house wearing a wedding dress.

In the dream, I was in my new house repainting the walls with turquoise paint, all the while worrying that it would be too bright. One of my house-mates was hovering around somewhere in the background, but she wasn't disturbing me or anything. So, while I was frantically painting, my colleague let himself in through the back door. He was wearing a big meringue-y wedding dress that he was having to hitch up to stop standing on it, and I distinctly remember that he was wearing brogues with the socks pulling up to his knees beneath it.

You'd think this would have shocked me, but it didn't. I just quickly said hello and went back to painting. He started rummaging through my kitchen drawers until I turned to him and asked what he was looking for, to which he said (and I'm fairly certain I've got this word-for-word):

I flapped a hand at him and told him there was some vegetarian bacon in the freezer and he could help himself. He went hunting in the freezer and came out with the Quorn bacon and started eating it straight from the packed while it was still frozen.

This went on for what seemed like quite a while, until he said:

"Right, thanks for that. Must dash."

And then he left and I went back to furiously painting the walls turquoise.