Lo, and birds will fall dead from the sky, fish will float dead to the surface of the ocean and the email service on your smartphone will cease to work for approximately 10 minutes, for Kristen Stewart has allegedly cheated on Robert Pattinson with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders. The photographic evidence of their makeout session will be released in the next issue of US Weekly. Sanders is 41, married to a model for British Vogue and has two young children.

I have one very important question, which is why the FUCK would you guys be making out on the street where paparazzi lurk and your significant others will therefore inevitably catch you? K-Stew alone is financially able to rent every single room and the bar in a hotel made of gold leaf and Queen Elizabeth II's panties and the fleeting dreams of children. More on this in Midweek Madness. [Us Magazine]

As it turns out, Scout, Rumer and Tallulah Willis are doling out tough love to Demi Moore under advisement of Frances Bean Cobain, who has been giving them tips on how to deal with a fucked-up mom. The clan, who have estranged themselves from Demi until she straightens up and flies right, went to school with Courtney Love's daughter, who went so far as to place a restraining order against her mom in 2009. So she knows what the fuck's up. [Winnipeg Free Press]

After one faux scare, actual Carly Rae Jepsen nude photos may have been hacked from her phone.

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Dodai: what the fuck ladies? if you hack my phone do you know how many nude pix there are? zero.me: haha i cannot say as muchDodai: delete!me: yeahhhh
but then you can't reuse
for different people
= classyDodai: smh as the kids say

So this is Boy George covering Lana Del Rey's "Video Games." I don't really have anything to say about this except "Call Me Maybe" might have been a touch more current. [Billboard]

In an interview with The Insider, Marlon Jackson broke down over the whereabouts of grandmother Katherine, whom Randy whisked away to Arizona to get away from all the drama. Uhh, also, Paris Jackson is still tweeting sad, bizarre things, and apparently Janet slapped her and called her "a spoiled b*tch." (There is a surveillance video.) The executives of Michael Jackson's will are, understandably, concerned about the well-being of the kids and, while they can't intervene directly, say in a statement that they are "monitoring the situation."

We are acutely concerned about the welfare of Mrs. Jackson, and most particularly with Michael's minor children. We are concerned that we do what we can to protect them from undue influences, bullying, greed, and other unfortunate circumstances.