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Adult Friendships: Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

February 28, 2018/

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. In my case, this is true. And it has been for a while now.

Adult friendships are probably the hardest, yet the easiest, friendships to have in your lifetime. I refer to them as “adult” friendships because they are very different from the teenage friendships that you experience when you’re younger. The minute you throw in engagements, and marriage, and kids, and buying houses, and moving cities or provinces, and all of that fun adult style stuff into your life, friendships change. When conversations used to be about what bar we were going to go to become what we bought on sale at Walmart recently, you know your life has changed.

When you have to start scheduling dinners weeks in advance, that’s when you know you’ve become an adult.

My friends are spread out throughout the province, and, actually, the country. Adult friendships will encounter this. As an adult, you find out who your true friends are. They’re the ones that no matter the distance, when you see them again in person, nothing has changed. They’re the ones that might live two hours, or four hours, or days away, but you know you can message them anytime and they are there for you and they love you. And you can tell them the most random things, and you can be so freaking honest with them (wood platter versus silver platter type conversations) and they’re still there. They don’t get mad and run away. They love you more.

Those are adult friendships.

As I said, my friends are spread out. But distance makes the heart grow fonder. I recently messaged one of my girlfriends and told her that sometimes I miss her so much it hurts. She used to be someone I saw almost every night, and then it became every week, then every couple of weeks, and now I haven’t seen her since December. The beginning of December. And it’s now the end of February. These are adult friendships.

They’re the hardest because the distance sucks. You want nothing more sometimes than to just have them at your side, laughing and joking like the good times haven’t changed. Going on adventures. Getting tattoos. Drinking our weight at the bar. You know. You want them back and you want to live the good life. They’re hard because we have to be adults now, and do adult things, and live adult lives. We have to work, and pay bills, and raise families, and do laundry, and groceries, and all the things that at the end of the day, I do love. But it doesn’t mean I don’t miss my friendships. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss our weekly coffee dates.

But you know why they’re the easiest? Because I know that no matter the distance, I can call them and they will be there. And as an adult, some of these friends will go off and get married. And then you get an awesome new friend in their husband (looking at you Mattykins!), and you will get the sweetest nephews (looking at you Kaids!), and even be blessed with the opportunity to be someones godmother (looking at you Isaac!). Being an adult blesses you with all these great new things that come out of your friends becoming adults too.

And yeah, it might have been a few months since I’ve seen B cause she lives out West. And it might have been a few months more than that since I’ve seen my nephew because they live a few hours away and I don’t drive. And yeah, I might have to schedule dinners in weeks advance, and block off weekends in my calendars two months in advance to know when I’ll be able to catch a train out to Ottawa to visit my godson. I might have to do all these things. But when I get to see those friends, and that nephew, and my godson – the distance will have been worth it.

4 Comments

Jax

ohmysamcake

Donna

Sam, as one of the mothers of one of the friends you were talking about – I have always admired the friendship the ‘the group of five’ has. You all have conquered many tragedies and celebrated many triumphs together. I have watched you all grow up into amazing young women ❤️