Indulgences

The Left Made Me Do It

Our guest columnist is a frightened fat fuck, bloviating to the nation today.

I want to explain why I apologized to Sandra Fluke in the statement that was released on Saturday. I’ve read all the theories from all sides, and, frankly, they are all wrong. I don’t expect — and I know you don’t, either — morality or intellectual honesty from the left. They’ve demonstrated over and over a willingness to say or do anything to advance their agenda. It’s what they do. It’s what we fight against here every day. But this is the mistake I made. In fighting them on this issue last week, I became like them.

Against my own instincts, against my own knowledge, against everything I know to be right and wrong I descended to their level when I used those two words to describe Sandra Fluke. That was my error. I became like them, and I feel very badly about that. I’ve always tried to maintain a very high degree of integrity and independence on this program. Nevertheless, those two words were inappropriate. They were uncalled for. They distracted from the point that I was actually trying to make, and I again sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for using those two words to describe her. I do not think she is either of those two words. I did not think last week that she is either of those two words.

The apology to her over the weekend was sincere. It was simply for using inappropriate words in a way I never do, and in so doing, I became like the people we oppose. I ended up descending to their level. It’s important not to be like them, ever, particularly in fighting them. The old saw, you never descend to the level of your opponent or they win. That was my error last week. But the apology was heartfelt. The apology was sincere. And, as you will hear as I go on here, it was not about anything else. No ulterior motive. No speaking in code. No double entendre or intention. Pure, simple, heartfelt. That’s why I apologized to Sandra Fluke on Saturday, ’cause all the theories, all the experts are wrong.

What’s gone on since and what really is going on here is what we all know to be true. Our president, Barack Obama, has a socialist agenda when it comes to health care, when it comes to birth control, when it comes to virtually every aspect of his agenda. In this case, Barack Obama wants the government, his government, making moral decisions about what treatments, prescriptions, pills you pay for through your insurance premiums. He isn’t willing to let you or the market make that decision for yourself…

Now, let’s get a few facts on the record here. Georgetown is a Jesuit University. It’s Jesuits, run by the Jesuits, which are a Catholic order of priests. Their policy on birth control is not exactly a secret. It’s not given to you in a sealed envelope after you sign up. It’s out there for everybody to see. It’s a Catholic university! Everybody that goes to there knows. Miss Fluke stated on occasion she went there specifically to change the policy. If birth control insurance is important to you as an enrolling student, and you find out that Georgetown doesn’t offer it, you might want to attend (or work at) a school that isn’t run by Catholics. I mean, just a thought.

But the point here is that this was an issue that represents a tiny, tiny slice of what the Democrats really want here. They use Sandra Fluke to create a controversy. Sandra Fluke used them to advance her agenda, which is to force a religious institution to abandon their principles in order to meet hers. Now, all of this is what I should have told you last week, ’cause this is what happened. I use satire. I use absurdity to illustrate the absurd. The story at the Cybercast News Service characterized a portion of her testimony as sounding like (based on her own financial figures) she was engaging in sexual activity so often she couldn’t afford it. I focused on that because it was simple trying to persuade people, change people’s minds.

I am huge on personal responsibility and accountability, people providing for themselves when they’re totally able to. The government has no business doing any of this, getting in people’s bedrooms and mandating that other citizens pay for other citizens’ social activities and so forth. That was the wrong one to focus on. I acted too much like the leftists who despise me. I descended to their level, using names and exaggerations to describe Sandra Fluke. It’s what we have come to know and expect of them, but it’s way beneath me. And it’s way beneath you. It was wrong, and that’s why I’ve apologized, ’cause I succumbed. I descended to their level. Don’t be mad at them or mad at her. Everybody here was being true to their nature except me. I’m the one who had the failing on this, and for that I genuinely apologized for using those words to describe Ms. Fluke…

Advertising’s a business decision. It’s not a social one. Only the leftists try to use extortion, pressure, threats to silence opposing voices. We don’t do that. Never, ever do any of us on our side of the aisle try to suppress the speech or the voices of those with whom we disagree, and we never will. So as you’ve always done, you make your own business decisions about the products and services you buy. But don’t be like the opposition. That was my mistake last week. Don’t make it yours.

So let me do this one more, and then we’re not gonna do it again. I should not have used the language I did about Sandra Fluke. It was wrong and, despite all the theories, my apology to her was for simply using inappropriate words. I’m not going to wait for apologies from the left ever. And you shouldn’t, either. They won’t come. You won’t get apologies from people like Bill Maher or all the other leftists who have said some of the most horrible, despicable things about us, and people like Sarah Palin. They get rewarded for those despicable things. They get to make movies out of their despicable things and amplify them. But all of the other leftists that call me and other conservatives the most rude and explicit names, never an apology. In fact, they get patted on the back. Don’t expect apologies. They are never going to apologize to you or me or any of us. That’s the difference between them and us, and it’s one more reason why ultimately we will prevail over them.

19 comments:

Dodgerblue

2:36 pm • Monday • March 5, 2012

Well, I didn’t expect him to say “Al Franken was right about me.”

al2o3cr

2:46 pm • Monday • March 5, 2012

It’s becoming clearer and clearer that membership in the GOP should be regarded as a sign of severe mental illness. Only someone who was utterly delusional could buy the “we NEVAR have boycotts” garbage.

ManchuCandidate

3:05 pm • Monday • March 5, 2012

@Dodgerblue:
I would be stunned, floored and amazed if he did, but yeah I don’t expect much from Rush except trying to weasel out of it (and giving the weasel a bad name.)

redmanlaw

3:08 pm • Monday • March 5, 2012

AOL just dropped it’s sponsorship of the drug-addled gasbag’s show. AOL is still around? They should get their own Walking Dead webisode.

flippin eck

3:14 pm • Monday • March 5, 2012

My dear father (aided and abetted in his talking points by Faux News, no doubt) already made me sputteringly incoherent with rage by defending Limbaugh in the same manner: you see, it’s satire. Lil ole Rush is just doing exactly what Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert do! Duh!

rptrcub

3:43 pm • Monday • March 5, 2012

In other words: “I still think she’s a slut; I’ll just go to the thesaurus next time.”

here in tennessee, gingrich co-chair stacey campfield defected to santorum. and immediately romney gained in pre-super tuesday polls while santorum ebbed. go figure. campfield is now ebullient and bathed in the glow of santorum.

@jwmcsame: I’ve spent the past fifteen minutes trying to hunt down the original document, but it doesn’t seem to be online. But I’ll be cadging together something with what’s available.

¡Andrew!

5:42 pm • Monday • March 5, 2012

Seems strange after 20-ish years of hate-spewage, drug overdoses, rehab, and underage-Panamanian-boy-diddling, that calling some random law student a “slut” is what finally does Jabba the Rush in, but whatever, I’ll take it.

And what’s wrong with being a slut, anyways? RepubliKKKans just pissed that nobody wants to fuck them without roofies and/or hazard pay.

¡Andrew!

5:47 pm • Monday • March 5, 2012

AND FREE PRINCESS LEIA, YOU HUTT-FUCKER!

Walking Still

5:59 pm • Monday • March 5, 2012

According to ABC, Rush has lost nine national advertisers so far, but not Newt.

SpongeBobtheBuilder

6:01 pm • Monday • March 5, 2012

Are there really THAT many men who don’t know how hormonal BC works? That’s the part about this that drives me crazy–not so much the slut-shaming, just the utter lack of knowledge about contraception, how you take it, and what it costs. Do men really put their fingers in their ears– “la-la-la”—about stopping the baybeez? And do women let them get away with that?

In the intertoobs, nine years is forever — I can’t find links to reports and/or transcripts of Limbaugh’s 2003 attacks on the Dixie Chicks, except this Guardian story which doesn’t mention Limbaugh by name, but after Dixie Chicks’ singer Natalie Maines said, “We’re ashamed that the president of the United States is from Texas,” it was Limbaugh who called them “Saddam’s angels” and “sluts” and encouraged the boycotting of their records and concerts. His attacks on them continued through 2009. But, yeah, “Never, ever do any of us on our side of the aisle try to suppress the speech or the voices of those with whom we disagree, and we never will.” If “ we never will” means “all the fucking time.”

Actually, Rush’s bigger problem is the Citizens United decision. For his first 20 years on the air, corporations were prohibited from making campaign contributions, so they just bought ad time on Rush’s show.

Now, they can cut out the middle man and just funnel the cash directly without having a backlash from outraged listeners.