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Monday, May 15, 2006

A New Recruitment Strategy?

I must be a glutton for punishment. For reasons unknown, my wife & I decided to watch to the [p]Resident speak to the nation tonight about his proposed immigration policy. Aside from his usual smirking face, his little address wasn’t altogether that remarkable as he made sure to mention the words “national security” several times. However, it is something he made reference to indirectly that caught my wife’s attention.

Dubya was talking about a wounded GI who happened to be an illegal immigrant from down south. (Interestingly enough, we didn’t hear any reference to illegals from any other direction…hmm.) Dubya lauded this soldier for his service to the United States Armed Forces and suggested that, because of his service, his application for citizenship would be expedited.

Though not stated directly, my wife immediately caught his drift. It goes something like this:

Ladies & Gentlemen, we’re having a great deal of difficulty recruiting Americans into our perpetual military machine. Because of this sad fact, I can’t wage war against made-up enemies who had nothing to do with 9/11. We need to increase our troop numbers. So, I’ve come up with a great new plan.

Since we already (wink, wink) allow those brown skinners from south of the border to do the kind of crappy jobs that no self-respecting American would want to do, why don’t we recruit them to fight our wars for us too? We can wave the carrot stick of “expedited citizenship” in their faces and many will jump at the chance to be slaughtered for it.

This great new plan of mine will serve several purposes: 1) I can continue to wage endless war and reward the military-industrial complex with rich deals funded by YOUR taxpayer dollars; 2) You can be patriotic and support my wars WITHOUT having to send YOUR sons and daughters to die on distant battlefields; and 3) It’s a great way (snicker, snicker) to get people off our welfare rolls.

So, how ‘bout it America? You with me? (To aides, thinking he’s off camera, “Who the hell cares what these yo-yo’s think? I’m king of this country and I can do whatever I damn well want.)

I didn't watch the little tinhorn's speech, but what you say here makes a lot of sense. Just another example of Mexican workers doing jobs Americans don't want to do.

I'm sure they are already prepping for the "Fearless Leader's" first trip to the border in a khaki Hummer, where he will stand with National Guard troops and gaze to the south with his field glasses. The networks will dutifully run the footage and certain members of the public will swoon. His approval ratings will get up to, oh, 35% or so, and Wolf Blitzer will say something about the president having turned the corner on his political fortunes, etc., etc.