to still not want to fork out to attend relatives wedding?

My sister plans to get married abroad. She initially said she wants my dd to be bridesmaid. I am on benefits which she knows but she thinks by giving people a couple of years notice to save then its OK.

She was talking about packages for the wedding which include ten guests. I asked her if dd would be paid for (under this package thing) and she just laughed and of course not, she is fully expecting me to pay about 3k for the for of us to attend her wedding because we have notice to save. We are currently trying to saves house deposit which is a damn site more important than a wedding.

Now the place has changed and its even more expensive and further away. She is also having it in term to e and we have an older child at school.

I have recently found out I am getting a decent inheritance and would easily be able to afford to attend but I actually don't want to use the money for that. I don't want to take ds out of school and get fined, it's also not somewhere you can incorporates family holiday, otherwise I would have done it tbh.

Aibu to not want to spend the money on this even though its my sister? Ultimately all the family that she wants there will save up and go, the ones who can't, she's not so bothered about anyway.

Wow, I really feel for you. Your sister is being incredibly unreasonable and unfeeling. Of course Yanbu to not want to do this, no matter whether you have the inheritance or not. I have never spent that amount of money on a holiday in my life and I would be damned if I would do it to a place of someone else's choosing! She can get married wherever she likes but you do NOT have to go. This sort of things makes me so cross!

3 grand to attend a wedding - that's ridiculous! Of course YANBU to not want to spend it. She won't like it but that's the price you pay with destination weddings - not everyone will be able to attend. If you don't want to spend the money, don't go.

Yes the 3k was for all 4 of us for a week in her original choice. The place has now changed and chances are it is actually more than this now, in fact it is, I remember her telling me its about £850 per person!

She actually thinks its OK because she is giving people a couple of years notice to save, which personally I think is very selfish to expect people to keep money back for that length of time just to watch someone get married, in a place I've never had any desire to go and it certainly isn't the sort of place you would think about taking children.

My DSis had this with her BF from school. Asked DN to be bridesmaid, measured for dresses etc, got everyone excited, then announced it was Grenada. Only her immediate family went, plus my DSis and her family. It cost over £6000 in total, used up the limited holiday allocation they had from work for family holidays and DSis was used as a babysitter and carer for the family.

The thing is, whilst it is your family, its a huge financial obligation plus educational expense as well. It's not just a weekend jolly to a boutique hotel in the UK. YANBU - she must not be expecting everyone can come and TBH, just giving notice to people that they have time to save is a touch rude.

Do you have any elderly or ill relatives? As they probably won't be able to attend either.

Sickness benefits joules. Dh works but no way we could justify this sort of money on attending a wedding. We don't spend anything like this on family holidays, never taken the kids abroad, but hoping to when I get my inheritance.

You've got your long term priorities, focus on them. Are you seriously going to miss out on buying a house for this ?

I have a friend who lives in Surrey and her husband's brother was getting married in Liverpool. Unfortunately they just could not afford to go i.e. money for petrol, an overnight stay in a bed and breakfast, money for a wedding present, not being able to stay long at the reception as their son was only two at the time, plus additional expenses - you know it goes. It was all just to much, in more ways than one.

So, they declined to go. Not surprisingly his mother was not impressed. Well, hard luck. He gave her the hand made wedding present to give to him as she was going.

I get the impression that as things stand now more than ten years later, that was kind of, 'small beer'. His brother's life has had all the twists and turns of a soap opera.

I would say to her, "Oh dear sis, I will never be able to save up £3,000 for your wedding. The most I can manage is £2,000. Would you mind if I gave you that money instead of dragging the family to a remote part of the world to watch you marry?"

When she snaps your hand off, you'll know she doesn't give a damn about you being there, so you can happily decline the invitation.