Tuesday, March 16, 2010

This is my last baby. This I know. I've sold off the big baby items, the swing that rocked my baby to sleep, the Jeep walker that entertained both of my babies for brief enough stints that I could go pee, the infant tub that cradled my babies during their baths. Letting go of these things was one of the most difficult part of grieving the babies I will never have.

I'm lucky, because despite some pregnancies that could have resulted in heartbreak, I was lucky enough to carry two babies to full term and avoid the wrath that HELLP Syndrome can bring to moms. I'm one of the lucky ones, this I know. And despite my body shutting down at the end of pregnancies, I will forever be grateful for the fact that my body can hang on until week 37, giving me the two greatest boys in the world.

And so every single minute with Tiny Man is that much sweeter. Bitter sweet in some ways, because each first is also a last for me. The last first step. The last mastering of the shape sorter. It's all the last. And there are times, the wind gets knocked out of me and I wonder if I'll ever be ok with it.

But this is the face of true love. I love this kid so much that every bone in my body quivers. I love this face, this smile, this crazy hair, those chubby feet so much, that I can't believe I ever went through life without them and thought I was happy.

Here the picture of perfection. My kid, he says "oh who" instead of uh oh. If that's not the freaking cutest thing ever, then you have no soul.

7 comments:

I know what you mean about the last. I just had my last baby. It makes me sad too. I think that if it weren't for my hubby having a "this is IT!" attitude I would end up with 18 kids and my own tv show. But a wise person once said, "eventually you are going to have a last child". Makes sense. ;)*sigh*

It hit me the other night that this is my last baby. I was done after one. And then I was distracted one night by whispers of 50's on the floor and sparkly things in velvet boxes and BAM! Hellooooooo, Weenut! 24 weeks into carrying Baby #2, it smacked me in the ass that this is the last time. It makes me sad. Sad that these bumps and nudges I feel are the last ones.

As much as I was hoping for another girl, I'm thrilled he's a boy. I am now blessed with one of each and that is awesome!

A Canadian girl who fell in love with a Texan boy and is slowly learning to love everything else about the Lone Star State. The only thing shorter than me is my attention span.
Email me at catwoman.in.texas at gmail.com