They played for the sake of play alone, and their only concern was the ultimate evolution of their game.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Regression

Every choice we make to move forward evokes a regressive pull. So very much life energy goes into things that give us little value back. The past wants us to stay where we are as much as the present does, but the future calls us forward to the next stages of life, to a new meaning, a new step in consciousness.

We must learn to say "No" to all that would oppose our true choices. By saying "No" we defeat the No which would defeat us.

I think maybe the best way to practice defeating the regressive pull is by making commitments and sticking to them. And by realizing, like someone holding a snarling dog's jaws shut, that one cannot hold on forever. It's very easy for me to forget to just deal with things instead of trying to control them.

Harmony flew out the window because of a single voice that somehow pierced my seams. Intrusions from the past sometimes weigh so heavily on me, as you know. And I drop myself so quickly, sometimes, in the face of troubles not my own.

A floodgate was opened by one who is a master at kicking the dam in exactly the right place at exactly the right time so as to cause the most destruction with the most pronounced look of innocence.

And one simple illusion of friendship has made me despise friends and one simple illusion of closeness has made me far to the point of untouchable.

You know my love for conjurers and those skilled at sleight of hand. I need to learn to just punch 'em in the eye. Instead I punch the eyes of sweet things that just want to love me. Because that will show... err.. *somebody*. Myself, I guess.

Ah well, surely it all ratchets back around to roost on the right person's karma.

"I am the seasoned traveler
Of the Labyrinth.
The genius of alacrity,
Wizard of the impossible.
My brilliance is yet unmatched
In its originality.
My heart's filled with potent magic
That could cast a hundred spells.
I am put together
For mine own pleasure.

I am the Monkey."

Seems pretty apt.

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"My friend, every sorceress is a pragmatist at heart; nobody sees essence who can't face limitation. If I wanted only to hold you

I could hold you prisoner." -- Circe's Power, Louise Gluck

"My story is not a pleasant one; it is neither sweet nor harmonious, as invented stories are; it has the taste of nonsense and chaos, of madness and dreams -- like the lives of all men who stop deceiving themselves." -- Demian, Hermann Hesse

"The Muses are vindictive deities: they avenge themselves without mercy on those who weary of their charms." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

THE RULES: As a general rule, and most of you already know this, I prefer annonymous comments on this blog. Here is where I like to talk more "idea to idea" than person to person. I've got another journal wherein I get all personally chatty, but here I like the idea of ideas being separate from the contructs/biases/"personalities" behind them. Because those things color us all, don't they? Anyway, it's not a hard and fast rule, so feel free to comment however you like. Caro can never help giving herself away and, of course, Aspyre is always welcome to comment with identity because when Ladarna and Aspyre talk, it has always been idea to idea anyway. :)