I'm getting a haircut and I'm not fashionable. What do you guys think would look good on me. And if there's any confusion, I am a dude. I only ask this because, again, I am no fashion expert, nor am I trying to be.

Girls like playing with your hair.
You'll need a short but not too short cut, and it'll need to be easily styled. It's hard to see what type of cut will fit your face because it's covered by a lot of hair, but you should start by thinning it out to git rid of the bush physique.

If you go to a good hairstylist (try to avoid barbers your first go around, they like customers that know what they want and generally give very short haircuts in my experience) they'll know what to do.

However, if you really want to go balls all out then I suggest to get something on the lines of this. Very comfortable in the summer and easy to work with in the mornings. The only problem is if you want to keep it this length, you'd have to visit a barber every other week and that can get annoying and expensive but it looks great on almost every guy.

I'm gay, and there's this bisexual kid I know who I was going to ask out. over Email, since that is my only way to contact him before the summer's over. Apparently his parents are extremely conservative and would send him to some camps to try to fix his sexuality if the found out he's bi. I'm worried that his parents might be looking at his Email, and I really don't want to get him in huge trouble by doing this. What should I do?

What I suggest is just talk to him in a way that wouldn't indicate a loving relationship. Act like you want to be his best friend instead of a boyfriend. When you guys are alone, that's when you can get all lovey dovey.

I know teachers use a site or program to scan papers and reports to check for plagiarism.
One of my teachers claimed my current final report was to similar to stuff online. Does anybody know where to find or how to use the tool teachers use to check for plagiarism, so i can see if my new version is original enough?

I tried downloading one but it did not work for Chrome OS, and the online version i found has a 1000 word limit, my report doest come close to fitting in there

I'm sure its a real thing, look at the comment paintskillz posted. thnx for the help bruh. Sadly its a site you have to pay for and from the looks of it they have to estimate my fee before i can use it.

No, there's no such thing as that. All teachers do is take a line or two from your paper and type it into google and see if it brings up anything. If you really did plagiarize, it'll be quite apparent from that simple google search, but if you didn't you should be able to convince them that it's your own work.

Anyone have that 4chan story of the soldier who hid LSD in his helmet and it melted into his skull so he ended up charging into a vietcong tunnel with nothing but a knife and a colt, then returning to camp with a bag full of thumbs?

Should I make a facebook account? Until now I've stayed away from social media but if people my age still use it, that is 15-17 years old, then I'd do it. But mainly I'd like to try and contact a girl I knew who I can no longer contact any other way.

I use it to keep up with the news and things I like. When you like stuff, lets take nvidea for example. Your news feed will show everything they post. I use it like that. I like what I like so when they post something I can keep up with that certain company or project. I also use it for keeping up with the news. And when it comes to friends I only friend people I know. And if those people turn into cancerous douches, then I remove them. It's also good as a backup way to talk to people. Sometimes peoples phones don't work, so I can send them a facebook msg and get them that way.

There is my reasoning. Keeping up with the things I like, news and backup communication. Take that as you will.

Get face book, but only use it as a alternative means of contact, don't document your entire existence, don't play any of the games and don't upload 50 million photos.
It'll consume your whole life if you let it.

So I've gone years disliking my father. He was always arguing with my mother, the poor innocent thing.

Except I just found concrete evidence that proves she's cheating. I was fuming, but I hid it for 5 minutes until I could run off to my room. I sent a very lengthy message to a dear friend asking for advice but I think I need some more support. I think the best thing is to expose her and tell her to get out of our house and out of our lives. But I'm way too scared to do anything because deep down I want it all to work out... on the other hand, I stopped believing in fairy tales a while ago.

I think you should bring it up.
When the only thing you can do in a relationship is dwell upon the past, that relationship is dead. It would be very hard to rekindle a fire, and you can just sit and wait it out for awile before doing anything. I find it tends to help that you wait before acting.

1. Do you want to fuck your mother?
If not, her genitals are none of your business. You don't like your father so you have no reason to tell him anything. My advice is to do nothing. OR go to your mother, tell her you know, and advise her that if she's so miserable with your father then she should either a) talk to him about it or b) get a divorce or c) both.

your father should know the truth. tell him about this, but before you do this. you should confront your mother about this. try to understand why she did this. as you said, your father yells at your mother a lot. maybe she did this because she was tired of getting yelled at by your father. confront your mother first, find out why she did this. then tell your father about this.

you want it all to work out but it would be very very difficult for it to work out. sometimes things are just not meant to go the way you want it to go man. but in my opinion, your father should know the truth.

They've been arguing for years, on and off. If they can't get it together after this long, I don't think they ever will. They'll jyst fight and fight some more. My mother and I came veeery close to moving out, but the very next morning, they were all hugs and smiles, and I'm done playing this game.

I saw my surgeon (the good one) this past Wednesday, the 24th , and am scheduled to have my surgery on July 14th. I'll be off of work for a month afterwards and will probably be posting further updates just because typing all this stuff out is really helping me clear my head. I'd like to thank those who did respond last time for their support and concern. I'm not worried about how the surgery will go. He's done hundreds of them, it's not too invasive, and I've had surgery before. I'll be on a squishy foods diet for a couple of weeks though so that'll be gross. I'll also have to find things to do that aren't too physical for a month... On the bright side though I get a month's worth of air conditioning which is nice since I work outside in southern Virginia. Plus, after it's all said and done I get to run again, eat most any foods again, get in shape, get healthy, and ditch this asthma.

Anyways, thanks to whoever reads this for reading it and to FunnyJunk in general for giving me a place to share where some people listen.

People want to abolish memorials for the US civil war and remove the reminders of the errors that caused it. People are getting offended that things are named after confederate commanders. Apparently if a black man has to drive down a road named after a confederate officer, that’s racist.

The supreme court ruled that same sex marriages are legal, allowing same sex couples to marry, but also creating the chance that people refusing to service their weddings will face jail time under antidiscrimination laws.

People are starting a movement to abolish gay rights and have the confederate flag reinstated as the flag of the United States. Call your senator to show your support of the movement. It would mean a lot to us all.

For the last few weeks, now that I've had the stability of a new job, For fun I've made a habit of getting high, and then going to a dating website and messaging hot chicks with really rom-com quality shot-in-the-dark speeches as openers. I'm a strong 2.5, and I'm ambitiously shooting for the 9s. Is this weird or bad? if so, which and why, and what should I do differently? If neither, and this is genius, how could you modify my process, bro?

Update: None of these girls have messaged me back. It's a numbers game now.

Man thats not bad at all. Its much better than "hey" or any variation of that. Try talking about things they like, asking questions, getting to know them and what they like, stuff like that. A girl is much more likely to respond to a question than a statement

The picture you showed me with the shirt doesn't look that big on you. What is this for? I saw dress shirt, and you said skinny jeans so I'm guessing a small gathering with friends or something like that? You'll look fine untucked, but if you don't want to you can grab like a black jacket to go along with your pants.

I see what you mean by too big. I thought you meant width wise not length. Nah you look fine though. Better than when you did tuck it in. You don't have any other jeans though? Jeans are like all I ever wear, with shorts, to college.

If you're only wearing those two clothings, then yeah (Just unbutton the top button.). In my mind I have that with this black jacket (opened) and some dress shoes with a black tie with gray and white stripes going diagonally from bottom left up right.

Maybe try to bring up some nuetral and casual conversation.
Maybe you saw someone reading a book, say " Wowee gee mister I sure did read that book too and it was great " and if you are really wordless around new people try and of some unbiased questions to keep yourself loaded and to not wander out of conversation zone. Remember that awkwardness is consequence, and courage is a choice.

That's easy to say when all of your current friends only do that.
Whenever I try to talk to new people I just feel super awkward, yeah, I can talk to peeps when I'm drunk and stuff but the only thing I want is to get to know new people.
Can't speak to anyone in the gym because everyone's just grunting and I wouldn't want it.

I was expecting to get laid tonight, but she flaked, because she said she wasn't comfortable with me seeing other girls (even though I'm not fucking seeing any...). I'm fucking devastated. I've been holding my load in for this girl for the past week, and now I"m sick to my stomach..

Everyone IS an asshole.
Some people are kind enough to hold it back.
Don't give up on someone for one or two mistakes, because you have most likely done the exact same thing. An example is mastubation - its a weird topic in public, but everyone does it. Always expect what you don't want. You will either be ready for it, or happily suprised.

I don't think you will, you don't seem like you have huge psychological problems dude.
I just want to say that you seem to underestimate /r9k/. The people who are using that board all share the same problems and instead of working on it, they choose to shelter themselves and circlejerk about who has it worse. Many of the things posted there are satire, yes, but there's a lot more truth to it than you might think. I used to be on that board and it really is a toxic environment.
Now to your question, trust is earned. You shouldn't throw it into the next girls arms, it's a porgress. If you truly get to know a person and deem her trustworthy, it's very unlikely that they pull off stuff like that. Which might as well be made up too That's why you don't marry after a year. Don't be so negative. If you try your hardest to make yourself a better person, even you can find love and happiness.

I used that board a lot in the past
I've seen it change
since robot removed it feels way more like a satire/bait board
weird but I like that board probably the most because it's a topicless board but not spammy as fuck like /b/
and fyi I'm not misogynistic but certainly have trust issues

Since I've graduated high school two years ago, I haven't really had any friends. I still had my girlfriend but she left me last November for some other guy. We dated for two years, so now I'm pretty much alone. I work 40 hours a week (and I work nights, so i'm asleep during the day), so i don't have much time to go out. How can I find friends or meet girls? Where can I go and when? I'm a little overweight since I've stopped working out since I graduated, so I'm also a little self conscience, which doesn't help. So I just don't know what to do. If any of you have any advice or anything, I would appreciate it very much. Also if anyone wants to just talk about stuff, pretty much anything, I'd like that too friends are always appreciated. Thanks everyone, and I hope I can help you with anything you need.

How old are you?
Are you in college? (assuming not since you work 40 hours)

I'm assuming you're early to mid 20's, so you'll be good to make friends m8.
Join clubs and shit, local YMCA rec basketball team or something. Since you joined a rec team, you also have access to their rec facilities. Bulk up.

Don't try to meet girls at clubs, they're just there for a quick fuck and they're very untrustworthy to look for a relationship in, honestly if you're not in high school/college it's very hard to meet girls worth talking to. Avoid fraternizing at work, that's a slippery slope and is very dangerous to your career. Professional life stays professional, personal life stays personal.
Try joining co-ed rec teams, that'll get you out and about and drowning in pussy if you're good.

Don't forget, confidence is everything. Every morning when you wake up, think positive. When you go to the bathroom to brush your teeth, look in the mirror and smile, no matter your mood. It'll make you feel better throughout the day. After you brush your teeth, smile in the mirror again. Walk around in your house carrying yourself confidently. Wear deodorant only, and walk right out that door with this new found confidence.

Last but not least, toss that fedora out. You won't need it where you're going.

Lawyer up, create a Facebook, and hit the gym (seriously, do that before it's too late).

It sounds like you focused a bit too much on your girlfriend as a source of companionship. In your next relationship, make sure both of you have other friends and hang out away from each other every once in a while.

Try joining a club or a sports team. This is a great way to meet people with similar interests. You might even find a girl you're interested in!

I'd also recommend taking up another hobby besides vidya. This will make you seem interesting, particularly if you're passionate about it.

Some people dream of success, but you're gonna wake up, and you're going to work HARD AT IT. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE! JUST DO IT.

How do I know when the best time to get a credit card is? I've always been against them since they can screw you over instantly if your not careful. Thing is I'm going on a trip soon and a credit card would be super helpful my only problem is I'm currently unemployed yet earn a sizable amount from my unemployment benefits. Should I go through with it or not? I budget my money really well but I also have to pick up some extra bills around the house since my parents can't keep up with them all.

advicedude you're back! Well the bank rep was the one who said I was eligible for one in my current situation so I don't think that'll be a problem.
braveblue, I've been planning this trip since the beginning of the year but I've been on the fence if I should go or not. Now that it's only a few months away I have to decide now before plane tickets shoot up 500%. I'm not freeloading, I actually want to get back into the workforce Was let go like a month ago due to lack of work Hell I had another job lined up a week later but was passed over last second because of my license problem. Thing is I can't go back into my field since my specialty license has expired like 2 months ago and apparently I now need to take a shit ton of classes before they can renew it. They're not consecutive either, there are 2 or 3 a month. That or I look for work in a state that doesn't follow these rules.

So, hypothetically speaking. Let's say you used to date this girl when you were sixteen. You weren't that into her, but she was hot and she was into you so a relationship was born. Let's say, not all that far into the relationship -like, three weeks or so- you had sex with her sister. She found out, and she obviously dumped your jackass... well, ass.

Now let's say you're back in town for more than a couple of weeks for the first time in eight years more or less. Is it too late to apologise?