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PWWIWWMAU ILLULLS '. UU. U-
JTODAY'S BELLRINGER
Beverly Bayne, the famous screen
'actress, tella a good story of one of
ter Chicago friends. The friend is
married and is notoriously slow in
dressing. The result is that huhby
must fume and fret about an hour
waiting for his wife when they are
getting ready for the theater.
"So," says Miss Bayne, "my friend
put up this -job on her husband. She
would hide his hat and cane. Then,
when he begins to urge her to hurry
she saysr'Tes, dear, get your hat and
cane. Til be with you by that time.'
"The result is that by the time he
has ransacked the house for his be
longings the wife 'finds' them for him
and calls him down for ,being late
himself."
This, says Miss Bayne, is a valu
able tip for other wives.
o-o
, TROUBLE AHEAD
The person popularly known as the
head of the house turned his key in
the door and entered as quietly as
possible.
"Where's your mother?" he whis-J
pered as his young son appeared.
"Sh!" cautioned the boy. "She's
waiting upBtairs in the war zone, and
I think she's got your range." N. Y.
World.
o o
NOT SO EASY
"What was all dem gwines-on at
yo' residence yiste'd'y evenin', Brud
der Mooch? Sounded like a fight uh
twixt a camp meetin' and a cata
mount!" "Dat? Aw, shucks, sah! Dat was
on'y de gen-leman from de furniture
'stallment sto', c'lectin' his easy pay
ments." Judge.
o o
A CORRECTION
Friend I heard somebody say the
Other day, Mr. Naggs, that your wife
was a fine conversationalist.
Naggs She's nothing of the sort
Friend No?
Naggs She hates conversation.
She's a monologuis ,
LOONY LIMERICKS
wf I
3
&r ,"
A dame with eyes like dreams,
Lured on a youth in his 'teens.
She copped all his kale and thea
set sail
To gather a new load of "beans."
PITILESS
"Some men have no hearts," said
the tramp. "I've been a-tellin' that
feller I am so dead broke that I have
to sleep outdoors.
"Didn't that fetch him?" asked the
other.
"Naw. He told me he was a-doi4'
the same thing and had to pay the
doctor for tellin' him to do itl" t
Christian Register.
o o
LOVE'S WAY
"Of course, he hasn't any money,
but Charlie says love will make a
way."
"Yes, I noticed it will," said the
father. "Thus far it's made away
with about twenty-eight dollars'
worth of electricity." N.Tf. World-
.....L.AAAAAAAA
MMMMi