Food for thought

It is six months since I wrote last, and I am now more busy than ever. It is very good.

It is though hard to balance everything the days throws at me, and I am very tired these days. This causes a lot of funny and not so funny episodes. I am usually in very good mood most of the times, both in good and bad times. I love life and being positive is a very good help in most things in life. But…

Generally, feelings are positive things, showing your emotions in most phases in life is a good thing! The Norwegians are known to be very low key on feelings, except when we drink. Then we are the most fuzzy of them all. I am not like that, and it scares Norwegians a lot. This is because it is hard for them to fit me into their picture of being a modest Norwegian that just goes around in life saying hi to people only when you are up hiking in the mountains. And my oh my are we hiking in the mountains. My Facebook stories are not all sunshine and cool, and I love taking selfies even if I am soon 50, even if I can see the wrinkles are standing in a line to visit me.

Usually this is not bugging me, that other people are viewing me as an alien, but one day at the bus, I was really, really tired. My foot that got burned most when I had my work accident years ago, was hurting very much. Usually my burns are not bothering me too much, but when I am tired, have had long days and life is miserable, they hurt a lot. You can’t see my scares and my problems they are creating, if I am not in a bikini, dress, or if I am not telling you that I hurt.

Anyway, it was one of the days that you knew getting up from bed was not a good idea. But you get up anyway. I survived the day, and I got on the bus to ride home. I was alone in an area of the bus that consisted of a 4 seat group. I stretched out my leg and crossed it on top of the other. Yes, it was sticking out a little bit in the midsection, but not much. Since I control pain with focus on my breathing and my eyes closed, I was sitting on my bus seat alone and tried to relax.

Then I heard a new person entered the bus, and since the bus was very empty, I guessed this person would find a place outside this group of seats. But, alas, no. Since I had my eyes closed, I didn’t see that she was standing there trying to pass my legs to get to a seat. Suddenly I felt a hard kick on my hurting leg, and I jumped high and withdrew my foot. I then saw this older woman pass me and put herself on the seat opposite me. She looked hard at me, and I felt like a teenager that has done something wrong. I put down my foot, and the bus got fuller and fuller. I wanted to scream to her and beat her with a stick over her head, but I guessed that would be a bad idea too. I only tried to deal with my foot, and I do think she got the hint after a while. I wasn’t teenager that just took up a lot of space on the bus…

If this was me, I would quietly just touch her shoulder and ask if she could have moved her legs. But that actually mean you need an emphatic level beyond a 2 year old. She didn’t, and it doesn’t help that she was a Norwegian. They are shy and talking to strangers on the bus is a big, big problem for them. In addition I do think she missed out on the “respect-for-other-people” deal, that you are supposed to use to whomever and in whatever mood you are.

When I came to my stop, my legs hurt so much that I walked funny off the bus.

I hope she saw it and is ashamed, for a long time.

Even if we are Norwegians, even if we are shy, get the fuck a little respect for other people. There are so many people out there that could need a little smile and a kind pat on the back. I know it is hard for you, you Norwegian without a bone in your stupid back to smile to others and show others respect, but at least do not kick my foot next time!

Right now I am ashamed of being a Norwegian.

How long are you going to hide your disrespect and your low self esteem behind you sorry “I-am-shy-and-I-don’t-like-to-talk-to-other-people”-ass and since I am a Norwegian I can do that??