“So what if Anelka doesn’t like Semite?” roars confused Lukaku

Belgium, Chelsea and Everton centre-forward Romelu Lukaku has leapt to the defence of his idol Nicolas Anelka, stating that it doesn’t matter whether or not he likes Semite.

Lukaku, on loan, has been accused by Jose Mourinho of “shooting his mouth off, literally (sic), all the bleedin’ time” – and he could do without this sort of attention in the run-up to a World Cup, or some mundane sort of observation like that.

Anelka’s celebration of a goal with an apparently antisemitic gesture gave rise to weird syntax on spoof football websites and much controversy everywhere.

Speaking exclusively to Lukaku TV in association with Everton TV, Lukaku insisted that it simply doesn’t matter whether or not Anelka, now of West Bromwich Albion, is an anti-Semite.

He said: “So what? He doesn’t like Semite, big deal.

“I’ve never tried Semite myself, but if it’s anything like Marmite and Vegemite then I probably wouldn’t like it.

“I just don’t see what all the fuss it about.”

At this point, the situation was quickly explained to Lukaku.

He said: “Oh. Well now, that’s very different.

“You see, the trouble with us 20-year-old footballers is that we aren’t the brightest of sparks.

“I expect Everton will remove this from their website, just like a few weeks ago when I said that Mussolini was my favourite flavour of soup.