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Gratitude

I wish I were forever grateful. If hardships were prescribed for my growth, then I should be grateful. Thanks for the parking ticket. I wish I could do more with this knowledge that I can’t park on this fucking street. Let me try that again. I’m grateful I have the money to pay this ticket off.

I wish I never took things for granted, and that I were mindful all the time. Count my blessings, and truly know the value of what I have. I wish it wasn’t in my nature to keep reaching for something better. There’s a silver lining somewhere in there. I wish I didn’t care, but I do care a lot.

So something’s wrong with me mentally… I see the world differently, incorrectly. I experience emotions too deeply. I’m volatile, sorry. I wish I could spin this positively. But I don’t think I can fix this. Please don’t mind me. I’m just brain vomiting.

An electric rose blooms yellow, and I’m dreaming. I wanna unplug. Let the emotions leave me because I’m heavy. I’m tired of being alive. I’m tired of waiting. I wish I were more graceful. This is the time to be grateful.