This £720 million luxury superbunker is madness

On a hillside in a remote German village, Robert Vicino is getting ready for the end. Working with The Vivos Group - the company he founded - Vicino is currently converting a military storage facility left over from the Cold War into Europa One, an invite-only, luxury underground fortress for the elite to flee to in the event of a Supervolcano eruption/nuclear holocaust/Jeremy Corbyn election victory. Just this summer the value of the property was estimated to be a little over £720million. Further, Vicino claims that the project has already generated a significant amount of interest from potential buyers around the world.

Of course, when people's thoughts turn to the Earth's imminent destruction, their first concerns tend to focus around the collective fates of the one percent. Thanks to Europa One, for an undisclosed sum an opulent apartment in the bunker will ensure protection from acid rain, hell's furies, and the aspiring middle class, for high-net-worth families. In fact, a contingency plan has already been devised for the moment disaster strikes: Vivos helicopters will simply swoop down to collect pre-registered residents from neighbouring airfields.

For one thing, as most of the site is underground, the views will leave much to be desired. This flaw is perhaps compensated, however, by a host of the usual amenities offered by luxury hideaways such as a swimming pool, restaurants and multiple gyms.

The nature of the operation means residents will also have a hospital area, bakery, and even a detention centre within reach.

Additionally, Vicino plans to keep a collection of animals in an on-site zoo, and to preserve some of mankind's most precious artefacts in a treasure archive.

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So, who'll buy them? A trip to the Vivos website is sure to unsettle those of a nervous disposition. Images of Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin's smiling faces are offset against the backdrop of a nuclear explosion, before the collage shifts to images of Auschwitz and the Recession, accompanied by two-word phrases like "Prophetic Asteroid", "Illuminati Depopulation", and "Lights Out". A paragraph just beneath these images ends with a question: "Will your family be victims or survivors?" One wonders, in this particular case, whether the real victims are those who choose to take part.