Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties

Posts: 4,256

Quote:

Originally Posted by the guy who be short

I suggest that all people who try to speak Old English when they can't be packed off straight to Mordor. It's not really hugely different from English, nor is it difficult to learn when to use "thou," "thy" and "thee.".*

Luckily the Barrow Downs isn't graced with any of these, but people who don't understand the function and use of the Caps Lock button should definately be packed off to Mordor.

You mean people WHO SHOUT I PRESUME? I'm with you there! And also ppl who spk n txt n msg brds cos dey thnk its gr8. I even use proper spellings and punctuation on my text messages. But also, I don't like it when people automatically get pedantic over other peoples' spellings on boards, because firstly whole conversations can be lost in such pedantry, and secondly, you never know if someone has legitimate trouble with such things.

Anywho, I assign mobile phones. Evil, evil things. On that I have no doubt JRRT would agree with me. Not that I'm living in the past or anything...

Well, the mobile phone can be nuisance but I wouldn't give mine up - it came in very handy when I had a flat in a bad part of town. How about people who can't be troubled to turn off their phones during movies, concerts and lectures and then insist on chatting about their grocery lists for an hour when their calls inevitably start to roll in?

Seems that I've been assigned to Mordor a few times in this thread too.

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People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect. But actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff.

Closely linked to reality TV is the slew of 'celebrity' magazines that stare you in the face in every newsagent. The covers feature ex-Big Brother contestants and they have in depth articles about Jade Goody's spots and such like. They must fill the shelves of the Mordor public library.

On a date not too long ago, Celuien was convicted of 1) driving too fast, 2) possession of a mobile phone, and 3) watching crass reality TV programs. For said offenses, she was sent packing to the Land of Mordor. Fortunately, she has been able to maintain correspondence with her friends back home through the Mordor Postal Service (MPS)...

The Exiles' Inn, Mordor, 30 Forelithe, sometime in the Seventh Age

Dear ____,

Well, I still can’t quite understand how this whole thing happened, but here I am in Mordor (who knew Mordor really existed???). It’s just so unfair – is it really so bad that I tend to go a bit above the speed limit? After all, 40 mph (64 km/h) is slow for a four-lane road with a median and no stoplights. And I do turn off my phone when I’m in class or at concerts and movies. Except for that one time. Or was it twice? I don’t know why I need more punishment for watching Fear Factor. Just seeing the show was bad enough.

Mordor is hotter than Philadelphia in August, but fortunately it’s not nearly as humid. If you manage to send it, I could use some water ice, as the heat and dust are somewhat trying. At least no one has said,”Yo! How youse doin’?” since I’ve been here. “Youse” is bad enough in its proper dialectal use as the plural form of “you”, but it’s twice as bad when used in the singular as well. With my luck, someone will probably assign all users of annoying non-standard words to Mordor.

There’s not much going on here. Since it seems that all calculus exams have been sent to Mordor with me, I’ve been able to go back over my favorite indeterminate forms and work on calculating functions for particles in one-dimensional boxes. Life really isn’t too bad. The main problem is keeping away from all of these orcs. I’ll have to work out a method of confining them to a box, preferably one-dimensional.

That’s about all. I’d better head off to fill in the holes I was digging earlier when I tried to get a tater garden started. Some of my fellow Mordor assignees tripped over the new pits that I made and were somewhat unhappy about their consequent twisted ankles.

Until we meet again,
Celuien

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People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect. But actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff.

May I send REGENTS exams to Mordor? Actually, not just REGENTS, but all standardized tests. They're a fantastically bad way of measuring intelligence, and all they do is serve to stress out students needlessly, force teachers to ignore many of the more interesting aspects of their subject in order to teach what's on a test, and make custodians carry desks around.

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People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect. But actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff.

Location: Umbar, but before the corsairs took over. (Ave Maria University, FL, USA)

Posts: 705

I second the sending of British spelling, with the exceptions of grey and aluminium. Those look/sound much better the British way, but all the rest of the time, it just means having to type extra letters.

I would rather be in favor of sending British spelling. I mean, seriously it's pronounced with a z sound so why not spell it realize instead of realise, and many others of the sort.

That should be "favour".

Quote:

Originally Posted by mormegil

(although I would love it if I could say the word theater as you Brits do)

Surely you mean "theatre". You see, it's much easier to pronounce it correctly when you spell it correctly.

I would not presume to send either American spelling or American pronunciation to Mordor. But when they creep across the Atlantic and corrupt the very mother-tongue from which they were derived, then it's straight off to Minas Morgul with them as far as I'm concerned (or it would be if I wasn't already here myself)

I've lost count of the number of times that I have screamed at news presenters that it's controversy not controversy.

__________________Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!

Ah but the language is going to change around that which the tongue finds most fluid. Always has, always will ... unless you're German, Mein Freund. And the language we speak, like it or not (and I often enough do NOT) is going to end up more often than not rendered as controversy and nuc-uler (eeew!).

Location: Umbar, but before the corsairs took over. (Ave Maria University, FL, USA)

Posts: 705

Quote:

nuc-uler (eeew!)

I send that mangling of the word nuclear to Mordor. I have yet to have a science teacher that pronounces it properly, which worries me. If they can't correctly pronounce words in their own profession, who's to say they know other things in it?

Depends whose speaking. With a soft regional accent such as Cornish or Southern Irish, it is in my opinion a beautiful sounding language. French and Italian probably have the edge on it, but it beats German hands down.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fea

It's "noo-kleer".

Surely you mean "new-clear".

__________________Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!

Location: Umbar, but before the corsairs took over. (Ave Maria University, FL, USA)

Posts: 705

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude! I just meant that from my personal experience, I'm not too fond of the way German sounds. My native language is English, but I'm not particularly fond of the way it sounds either. It comes right after German on my list of languages I dislike by their sound.

I wasn't trying to make any sort of reflection on Germany, or German people. My apologies to anybody I've upset, but that certainly wasn't my intention.

While I think racism should be sent to Mordor I don't feel offended by what you said. My descendents are German and I still have a very German last name. However, I don't believe the language to be the prettiest sounding of languages. I am rather fond of Portuguese myself. However Russian is similarly harsh like German, but I like the sound of it.

__________________
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke

Perhaps to offend everybody equally, we should send the entire concept of language to Mordor?
No, I'd rather not...

I think food poisoning should go to Mordor (influenced by current events in my life ) as should prolonged conjunctivitis. Less specifically, all illnesses should go there.

Also, birds singing at obscene hours in the morning. This may seem a little harsh, but why birds feel compelled to chirp outside my window at 4:00am is beyond me; the only explanation I can salvage is that they are servants of Mordor.

Location: So near to Russia, so far from Japan, quite a long way from Cairo, lots of miles from Vietnam.

Posts: 1,267

Quote:

Originally Posted by TGWBS

Also, birds singing at obscene hours in the morning. This may seem a little harsh, but why birds feel compelled to chirp outside my window at 4:00am is beyond me; the only explanation I can salvage is that they are servants of Mordor.

I agree with you whole-heartedly!! Except the birds outside my window don't chirp. They shriek and bawl.

Mice can go go Mordor. Along with any particularly embarassing reactions to the little creatures that involve first screaming, then swearing colourfully, and then trying your best to speed acceleration due to gravity from 9.8 m/s^2 up to anything faster as you ignore the rungs of a perfectly good ladder to drop through the trap door and land while running, making it from mouse to door in under three seconds.

Not that that happened to me this afternoon or anything.

And about those Regents exams I sent to Mordor? The Physics ones in particular can stay there and burn. Because really, who but Sauron would ask anyone to explain to them time (t) in terms of height (h) using gravity (g) and providing an equation to top it off? And who asks a 17-year-old to find the mass of the sun... who does that? It's Sauron's doing, I swear it.