Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Some minor complaints

I have to say, I'm kind of disappointed with Magknits lately. They only have like 5 patterns per issue and most of the time there is nothing that I would wear among them. This month they have one cute 3/4 length sleeve top, but they don't have a decent picture of the sweater with the pattern! Not one picture that shows the entire sweater. How do I know if I want to make this if I can't see where it falls on the hip, how long the sleeves really are, or how the waist shaping looks? What the hell, guys? Can we have some standards, please?
Secondly, and on a completely unrelated note, I recently watched an episode of "the pick up artist" on cable, and I can't help but feel sad for these guys on this show because they are being fed total and utter crap. Some dude named Mystery (which should be the first warning right there that it's all bullshit) throws around weird slang that he seems to have invented (e.g., "you have to open up sets and throw out some negs" -- excuse me, WTF are you talking about?) while wearing a furry top hat and eyeliner. This is the best expert they could find? The goal is to pretend you are variously interested and not interested in the woman (whom Mystery refers to as the "target"), and this is supposed to make her want to give you her phone number, from what I understand. I never knew that that's what I wanted in a man, but how could Mystery be wrong?
Then the "experts" teach these loser guys about how to tell if women want them. "She's touching her head -- this is a sign women give that they're interested," says Mystery. Um, what is this, a nature program -- like mating signs of the european sparrow or something? And anyway, perhaps the woman just has a headache from your stupid pick up lines and that's why she's touching her head.
Thirdly, I remember some dude coming in to the coffee shop that I work at and bragging about how he was going to be on this show, apparently in an effort to pick up some of the girls that work there. I believe the response he encountered was, "Yeah ok great here's your coffee k thnx bye." I don't know why you would want to admit A) that you signed yourself up for reality television, B) that you participated in a show meant for guys who don't know how to behave around women, and C) that all of your embarrassing secrets will be broadcast in the near future. None of these things are promising for your romatic life. You really should keep this stuff under wraps.
Worst reality television ever. This whole "having cable" thing, combined with the "wanting to knit a lot" thing has caused me to watch some really bad tv though. I don't regret it. It gives me fuel for appalled rants such as the one you have just witnessed.