Tiddles looked up with the utter contempt that all cats hold for humans. "Miaowwww..." it said.

Van Helsing addressed the court. "It is my intention to prove that this vile creature is responsible for several shipwrecks, the mutiny on the Bounty, the first world war, global warming, the death of the dinosaurs, and England getting knocked out of the World Cup."

The atmosphere in the court was relaxed, no one could believe that this sweet looking cat could have been the cause of so many disasters.

Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD said "I know you all want to stroke the cat but you have to form an orderly queue".

It seemed that the prosecutor Van Helsing is going to have his work cut out to secure a conviction.

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

...suddenly the doors at the back of the cortroom opened and a a large creature dressed in a red robe and a hood walked into the court and up to the bench.

The creature picked up Tiddles and cradled it back forth mumbling slowly in its ear. The large creature then left the courtroom the way it came in.

"Blimey" said Tiddles "who on earth was that"

There was uproar in court did the cat speak, what could this mean. The only person who seemed unsurprised by this startling turn of events was The Black Spot who was sitting quietly in the public gallery sharpening his cutlass.

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

van Helsing leapt to his feet. "What would you like me to witness Lady Pru?" he asked, looking puzzled.

Grand Deducer Watson of Sherlock. NoName, no pack drill. Astral zone changed five times a day (flexible). Great at manifesting parking spaces by thought control. Hatred of terminology of survivors and commitment to win-win reality.

You could have heard a pin drop in the courtroom for what seemed like an eternity. Then a deep voice resounded around the courtroom and uttered 4 words that would change the life of Tiddles the Cat forever â€œTIDDLES ATE MY PARROTâ€

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD got out of her chair and had a word with the clerk of the court. The pair of them approached Black Bart and proceeded to give him a flogging that The Black Spot would have been proud of..

Auntie Blackbeard looked at the prosecutor and said "Yes she did but she didn't kill it"

Van Helsing "I may not be an expert on Parrots but I am led to believe that if a Cat eats a Parrot it usually results in death"

Auntie Blackbeard was visibly annoyed and raised her voice "No you imbecile, I meant that the Parrott was already dead when Tiddles ate it becuase it was killed by someone else, a well known Pirate Cap'n who killed it and gave it to her to eat", she then looked towards the public gallery and shouted with tears running down her face, "it was him...."

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.