Paul continues to
emphasize the importance of Spirit filled believers in interpersonal
relationships, particularly as the Spirit's control is evidenced by a
submissive spirit in the believer, in this case believing children. As
discussed below Paul does not use
hupotassowhich describes submission between equals (husband and wife) but
hupakouo which speaks of one who is not the other's equal (this same
usage being applied to master/slave relationships). By the way, don't
misinterpret this verse. Yes, the primary instruction is to believers,
children and parents, but that does not mean that children are to obey
parents only if their parents are believers!

Johnson
puts this section dealing with children in a proper cultural perspective
writing that...

The callousness of the Roman Empire
with respect to children throws this into very broad relief because,
just as in our society today, the signs of breakdown were not only in
the Roman Empire, but had come to pass. And in their society, children
were unwanted. They were abandoned. They were mistreated. They were
abused. They were raped, and furthermore, they were murdered. Everyone
of those experiences are experiences that are characteristic of our
society today. So, the Apostle’s words were addressed to a society that
was very much like ours: it did not have concern for children. (Ephesians 6:1-9 Paul to Children & Fathers
Audio)

Barclay
adds that...

Under the patria potestas
a Roman father had absolute power over his family. He could sell them as
slaves, he could make them work in his fields even in chains, he could
punish as he liked and could even inflict the death penalty. Further,
the power of the Roman father extended over the child’s whole life, so
long as the father lived. A Roman son never came of age. Even when he
was a grown man, even if he were a magistrate of the city, even if the
state had crowned him with well-deserved honours, he remained within his
father’s absolute power. “﻿The great mistake,﻿” writes Becker,
“﻿consisted in the Roman father considering the power which Nature
imposes as a duty on the elders, of guiding and protecting a child
during infancy, as extending over his freedom, involving his life and
death, and continuing over his entire existence.﻿” It is true that the
father’s power was seldom carried to its limits, because public opinion
would not have allowed it, but the fact remains that in the time of Paul
the child was absolutely in his father’s power. There was the custom of
child exposure. When a child was born, it was placed before its father’s
feet, and, if the father stooped and lifted the child, that meant that
he acknowledged it and wished it to be kept. If he turned and walked
away, it meant that he refused to acknowledge it and the child could
quite literally be thrown out.

A Roman baby always ran the risk of
being repudiated and exposed. In the time of Paul that risk was even
greater. We have seen how the marriage bond had collapsed and how men
and women changed their partners with bewildering rapidity. Under such
circumstances a child was a misfortune. So few children were born that
the Roman government actually passed legislation that the amount of any
legacy that a childless couple could receive was limited. Unwanted
children were commonly left in the Roman forum. There they became the
property of anyone who cared to pick them up. They were collected at
nights by people who nourished them in order to sell them as slaves or
to stock the brothels of Rome. (Barclay,
W: The Daily Study Bible Series, Rev. ed. Philadelphia: The Westminster
Press)

It was into such
an upside down world that the Gospel shined forth to light the way for
children to be set free from this horrible darkness and despair.

Boice has
the following introductory comment...

Norman Corwin wrote in an article for
Reader’s Digest entitled “Perfect Home”: “One child makes a home a
course in liberal education for both himself and parents; two children
make it a private school; three or more make it a campus.”﻿﻿ But many
parents today are not sure that they are up to being professors in this
university, and even then they are unsure of what should be offered in
the curriculum. (Boice,
J. M.: Ephesians: An Expositional Commentary)

Obedience
and honor sum up the whole distinctive duty of the child, not
just in the New Testament but also in the Old, the latter recording
that...

Leviticus 19:3
'Every one of you shall reverence his mother and his father, and you
shall keep My sabbaths; I am the LORD your God. (Note that in Lev
19:3-4, three of the Ten Commandments are reiterated as being
particularly important - concerning parents, sabbaths, and idolatry).

Deuteronomy 21:18"If any man has a
stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father or his mother,
and when they chastise him, he will not even listen to them, 19 then his
father and mother shall seize him, and bring him out to the elders of
his city at the gateway of his home town. 20 "And they shall say to the
elders of his city, 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious, he
will not obey us, he is a glutton and a drunkard.' 21 "Then all the men
of his city shall stone him to death; so you shall remove the evil from
your midst, and all Israel shall hear of it and fear. (Comment:
Morris writes that "Records indicate no rebellious son was ever put to
death under this law. Every father elected to spare his own son, no
matter how sinful the son might have been. Only Christ, the perfectly
obedient Son [John 8:29;17:4] was not spared [Ro 8:32] [Ref]).

Proverbs 6:20
My son, observe the commandment of your father, And do not forsake the
teaching of your mother; 21 Bind them continually on your heart; Tie
them around your neck. 22 When you walk about, they will guide you; When
you sleep, they will watch over you; And when you awake, they will talk
to you. 23 For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is light; And
reproofs for discipline are the way of life,

Proverbs 23:22Listen to your father
who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old.

Pr 30:11
There is a kind of man who curses his father, And does not bless his
mother.

Pr 30:17
The eye that mocks a father, And scorns a mother, The ravens of the
valley will pick it out, And the young eagles will eat it. (Their body
will lie unburied for the birds to feed on)

Colossians 3:20Children,
be obedient (present imperative)
to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing (well approved,
eminently satisfactory, or extra-ordinarily pleasing) to the Lord. (see
note) (Comment: In
the ancient world children were very much under the domination of their
parents. The supreme example was the Roman Patria Potestas, the
law of the father's power. Under it a parent could do anything he liked
with his child. He could sell him into slavery; he could make him work
like a laborer on his farm; he had even the right to condemn his child
to death and to carry out the execution. All the privileges and rights
belonged to the parent and all the duties to the child.)

To disobey
parents is a symptom of a disintegrating, decaying society, and
Christian families have a distinct responsibility not to contribute to
the collapse of the ordered community. To disobey
parents is named in the horrible list of sins ascribed to those with
who "did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer" and who God
therefore gave "over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are
not proper"...

Paul says
parental disobedience will characterize the last days
writing...

But realize
(present imperative)
this, that in the last days difficult times (grievous times, violent,
fierce, wild, hard to bear times) will come. 2 For men will be lovers of
self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient
(apeithes = literally those who refuse to be persuaded!) to
parents, ungrateful, unholy (See notes2 Timothy 3:1;
3:2) (McGee
observes that "Disobedience to parents is the last and lowest form of
lawlessness to occur on this earth. Disobedience to parents is one of
the characteristics of the last days. Today we hear of many cases of
children rejecting parental authority and even killing their parents!
This is indicative of the times in which we live." [Ref])

Children (5043)
(teknonfrom tikto = bring forth, bear children, be born) is strictly a
child produced, male or female, son or daughter. Teknon is thus a
child as viewed in relation to his or her parents or family. In the
plural, teknon is used generically of descendants, posterity or
children.

Note that another
Greek word huios (5207),
translated son, differs from teknon because the latter gives prominence
to the fact of birth, whereas huios stresses the dignity and
character of the relationship and usually speaks of one who is fully
mature. Despite these distinctions, because these words often overlap in
meaning and are used seemingly without discrimination, one should not
press their semantic differences in every case but allow the
contextto rule in the
interpretation (always a good rule!)

Teknon was used in
secular Greek writings as a form of familiar, tender or affectionate address to
speak of one kindly even if they were adults referring to them as "my
son" or "my child". For example Jesus speaking to the paralytic declared

"Take courage, My son (teknon), your sins are forgiven." (Mt 9:2)

In the NT, pupils
or disciples are called children of their teachers, because the
latter by their instruction nourish the minds of their pupils and mold
their characters. For example Paul writes...

For this reason I have sent to you
Timothy, who is my beloved and faithful child (teknon) in the
Lord (see notes2 Timothy 1:2),
and he will remind you of my ways which are in Christ, just as I teach
everywhere in every church. (1Cor 4:17) (Comment: In his
first epistle Paul writes as a spiritual father "to Timothy, my true
child[teknon] in the faith: Grace, mercy and peace from
God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord." 1Ti 1:2. In Titus Paul
again writes as a spiritual father "to Titus, my true child[teknon] in a common faith: Grace and peace from God the Father
and Christ Jesus our Savior." see note
Titus 1:2 )

Teknon
takes on special theological significance when the Bible calls believers the
children of God (Click
here for NT uses of this
wonderful phrase - note one use by Paul is not of those who are born
again and uses genos -- "offspring" -- not teknon in the Greek text
- see if you can determine which one is not referring to the born again
members of the family of God) or more literally "born ones" of God. In
using teknon in this context the NT is not saying believers are
"childlike" but tat we are members of God's family as thus heirs, Paul
affirming...

and if children (teknon),
heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we
suffer with Him in order that we may also be glorified with Him. (See
notesRomans 8:17)

Teknon is
used in a number of phrases in the NT, and one must examine the context
to determine whether the phrase refers to believers or non-believers:

• children of the devil (unbelievers - 1Jn 3:10 - read this
text which clearly divides all of humanity into one of two camps).

Teknon
views the child in relation to his parents or family and this use is
especially significant in the New Testament, in which we see all of
mankind divided into one of two families from a spiritual standpoint
-- either the family of God or the family of the Devil. As such we can
apply the common saying "Like father, like son". In one of the
most scathing discourses of Jesus against the Jews (who had "believed"
in Him in John 8:30, but not with a belief unto salvation as
context shows, eg, these same Jews "picked up stones to throw at Him"
in John 8:59) we read the following interchange

They (the Jews who had "believed"
in Jesus) answered and said to Him, "Abraham is our father." Jesus said
to them, "If you are Abraham's children (teknon), do the deeds of
Abraham." (John 8:39)

Comment: Read this entire
incredible exchange -- John 8:30-59 -- where Jesus goes on to declare
that these "believing" Jews are actually of their father the
Devil, as their deeds, even in context, clearly demonstrate. As an
aside, this text clearly points out that if what we say we believe does
not correspond to our deeds or behavior, we are deceiving ourselves and
will had better carefully examine our profession of faith in Christ. And
simply sitting in the pew on Sunday is not sufficient evidence of our
deeds. Our deeds Monday through Saturday are a far better barometer of
what we say we believe. Be careful to make certain that your practice
does not belie your profession!

The derivative
word teknion (5040) designates a
little child and was used for example by the apostle John (7 of 9
uses of teknion are in 1John written somewhere around 85-90AD possibly
from Ephesus) to address the followers of Jesus, who must have
seemed like very little ones to the aged apostle.

In Matthew 23
Jesus uses teknon in a "Hebraistic" sense to refer to the inhabitant of
Jerusalem as if she were their mother, declaring...

O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the
prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to
gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under
her wings, and you were unwilling. (Mt 23:37)

In summary,
in the present usage of teknon, Paul is referring to literal
children as those born of their parents. In context of his discussion of
the relationships in which one lives out the reality of a Spirit filled
life, it appears that these children are best considered as believers.

J Vernon McGee
tells the story of...

When I was a pastor, I remember
visiting in a home in which the father and I couldn’t even carry on a
conversation because his little boy occupied the center ring of the
circus. He was a little circus himself, and if you ask me, the dear
little fellow was a brat. The father said, “I just can’t make that child
obey me.” The father weighed about two hundred pounds, and the boy
weighed about thirty pounds. Yet the father said, “I just can’t make him
obey me.” Well, I think he could have, and I think he should have. God
intended for the father to make him obey at that age. (McGee,
J V: Thru the Bible Commentary: Thomas Nelson)

Obey
(5219)
(hupakouo from hupó = agency or means,
under + akoúo physical hearing and apprehension of
something with the mind - akouo gives us our English acoustics -
the science of design which helps one hear) (Click study on related noun hupakoe) literally
means to listen under with attentiveness and to respond positively to
what is heard. The sense is that one understands and responds
accordingly. Hupakouo
implies an inward attitude of respect and honor, as well as external
acts of obedience. Obedience on the part of children consists in
listening to the advice given by parents. In Genesis 22 Isaac's
willingness to be offered as a sacrifice is a model of such submission.

Hupakouo means to hear
under authority and pictures the one hearing as being under the
authority of some one else. Hupakouo means to obey on the basis
of having paid attention to.

In short, the picture
of hupakouo
is that of placing oneself under what has been heard and therefore
submitting to and obeying what is heard.

Hupakouo is
present imperativewhich is a command for
children to obey as a lifestyle. In the present verse hupakouo means
that Spirit filled children (Eph 5:18-note) are to continually put themselves under the
words and authority of their parents. They are to continually exhibit a
readiness to hearken (give respectful attention, give heed to) to the
parent's commands and instructions. How else could a naturally
rebellious child do this unless he or she was filled with (controlled
by, yielded to and controlled by) the enabling power of the Holy Spirit
Who indwells them and continually gives them the desire
and the power to obey (cp Php 2:13NLT-note)?

Hughes adds
that...

Obedience involves conscious
listening. If you do not really listen, you cannot really obey. That is
why parents are always saying, “Listen to me!” The idea is to listen
under with the intent to understand and do it... Much of this is a
matter of attitude. We are not to be like the little boy who misbehaved
and was told by his teacher to sit in the corner, which he did with
grudging obedience, all the while saying to himself, “I’m sitting down
on the outside, but I’m standing up on the inside!” (Hughes,
R. K.: Ephesians: The Mystery of the Body of Christ. Crossway Books)

Thayer's first
entry states that hupakouo is "properly, of one who on a knock at
the door comes to listen who it is." Similarly, in secular Greek
hupakouo spoke of one standing at a door, listening intently, almost
eavesdropping. Plato used the word to describe a doorkeeper. Later the
word came to mean obedience, for after one hears and understands a
command or request, he should obey it. For example Luke records...

And when he (Peter - Acts 12:11,12)
knocked at the door of the gate, a servant-girl named Rhoda came
[proserchomai] to answer [hupakouo] . (Acts 12:13)

In the context of
family relationships, it is notable that the wife is not commanded to
obey her husband, as children are to obey their parents and slaves
their masters. In other words, a husband is to treat his wife as an
equal and not as his servant or as if she were a child. The
husband is not to order the wife about, calling on her to respond to his
every wish and command.

OBEDIENCE OF FAITH

Faith and
obedience are closely related, C H Spurgeon writing
that...

Faith and obedience are bound up in
the same bundle. He that obeys God, trusts God; and he that trusts God,
obeys God.

If you desire Christ for a perpetual
guest, give him all the keys of your heart; let not one cabinet be
locked up from him; give him the range of every room and the key of
every chamber.

There are at least
four NT uses of hupakouo that relate to the Gospel and salvation
- Acts 6:7, Ro 6:17-note,Ro 10:16-note, 2Th 1:8 and Hebrews 5:9-NOTE
(See these verses below) and in each use hupakouo is closely related to the phrase "obedience of
faith" DrCharles Ryrie summarizing the
two main ways one might interpret this phrase explaining that it could
refer to...

Either obedience that leads to
initial faith (as in Acts 6:7)
or obedience that results from faith. (The
Ryrie Study Bible)

As to the meaning of the words, “for
obedience to the faith,” scholars differ. Some say that it means
obedience to the Faith, the Christian system of belief, as in Acts 6:7
where a great company of the priests were obedient to the faith. Others
say that obedience is the obedience which springs from and is produced
by faith." (Wuest,
K. S. Wuest's Word Studies from the Greek New Testament: Eerdmans)

Study (in context)
the 21 NT uses of hupakouo...

Matthew 8:27 And the men
marveled, saying, "What kind of a man is this, that even the winds and
the sea obey Him?"

Mark 1:27 And they were all
amazed, so that they debated among themselves, saying, "What is this? A
new teaching with authority! He commands even the unclean spirits, and
they obey Him."

Mark 4:41 And they became very
much afraid and said to one another, "Who then is this, that even the
wind and the sea obey Him?"

Luke 8:25 And He said to them,
"Where is your faith?" And they were fearful and amazed, saying to one
another, "Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and the
water, and they obey Him?"

Luke 17:6 And the Lord said,
"If you had faith like a mustard seed, you would say to this mulberry
tree, 'Be uprooted and be planted in the sea'; and it would obey
you.

Acts 6:7 And the word of God
kept on spreading; and the number of the disciples continued to increase
greatlhy in Jerusalem, and a great many of the priests were becomingobedient to the faith.

Acts 12:13 And when he knocked
at the door of the gate, a servant-girl named Rhoda came to answer
(to hearken).

Romans 6:12 (note)
Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body that you should
obey its lusts...6:16Do
you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for
obedience (hupakoe),
you are slaves of the one whom you obey (hupakouo), either of sin
resulting in death, or of obedience (hupakoe)
resulting in righteousness? 6:17But thanks be to God
that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the
heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed. (Comment:
In this context hupakouo is referring to yielding to one's the strong
desires that are "barked out" by the Sin nature that still resides in
believers. Paul's point is that now we do not have to obey those strong
desires).

Romans 10:16
(note) However, they did not all
heed the glad tidings; for Isaiah says, "LORD, who has believed our
report?"

Ephesians
6:1 Children,
obey
your parents in the Lord, for this is right...6:5
(note) Slaves, be obedient
to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and
trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ;

Philippians 2:12 (note) So then, my
beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence
only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear
and trembling;

Colossians 3:20
(note) Children, be obedient
to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord...3:22
(note)Slaves, in all things obey
those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those
who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.

2 Thessalonians 1:8 dealing
out retribution to those who do not know God and to those who do not
obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus.

2 Thessalonians 3:14 And if
anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special
note of that man and do not associate with him, so that he may be put to
shame.

Hebrews 5:9 And having been
made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of
eternal salvation,

Hebrews 11:8 By faith Abraham,
when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was
to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was
going.

1Peter 3:6 Thus Sarah
obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children
if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

Puritan Thomas Adams wrote
that...

True obedience hath no lead at its
heels

It is not what we do that matters,
but what a sovereign God chooses to do through us. God doesn’t want our
success; he wants us. He doesn’t demand our achievements; he demands our
obedience.

Corrie Ten Boom once said that

When we are obedient, God guides our
steps and our stops.

Elisabeth Elliot also
emphasized the importance of obedience when she wrote

"Throughout the Bible ... when God
asked a man to do something, methods, means, materials, and specific
directions were always provided. The man had one thing to do: obey."

When we walk with the Lord in the
light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still
And with all who will trust and obey

RefrainTrust and obey, for there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey.

Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we
share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.Refrain

But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.Refrain

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet.
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way.
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.

Parents (1118)
(goneus from ginomai = to generate) describes either the
mother or father. Goneus is in the plural in this verse which would
signify both parents.

In the Lord - A few Greek
manuscripts omit this phrase, but the bulk of evidence supports its
validity. Paul's point is that this prescribed obedience to parents is
the child's obligation to Christ whether or not the parents are
believers. "In the Lord" defines the quality of the obedience by
defining the sphere in which that obedience is to be carried out. How
else could supernatural obedience be carried out, except in a
supernatural sphere? It follows that the obedience in this context
describes a Spirit filled child in communion or fellowship
with Christ and their obedience should be as if to Him, as if obeying
the Lord Himself. Children are not commanded to obey their parents if
their parents tell them to disobey the Lord. The principle is the same
stated by Peter who declared

He (Jesus as a boy) went down with
them, and came to Nazareth; and He continued in subjection to (hupotasso)
them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart. (Luke
2:51)

Children are not simply to follow the
example of Jesus when He subjected Himself to His parents, but must also
realize that both they and their parents are under the authority of Christ.

The writer of Hebrews adds that...

Although He (Jesus) was a Son, He learned
obedience from the things which He suffered. (Heb 5:8-note)

John Eadie writes that the
phrase in the
Lord describes...

the element or sphere of that
obedience which children are to render to their parents, and certainly
do not qualify goneus—as if the reference were to fathers in the faith,
in contrast to fathers after the flesh. Not merely natural instinct, but
religious motive (Ed: Spirit enabled) should prompt children to obedience, and guard them in
it. The love which Jesus showed to children, when He took them in His
arms and blessed them, should induce them, in a spirit of filial faith
and fondness, to obey their parents, and to regard with special
sacredness every parental injunction. And that obedience, if prompted,
regulated, and bounded by a sense of religious obligation (Ed:
Note well - not a legalistic obligation, but an "obligation" motivated
by love and enabled by the Spirit), will be
cheerful, and not sullen; prompt, and not dilatory; uniform, and not
occasional; universal, and not capricious in its choice of parental
precepts. (John Eadie, D., LL.D. The Epistle of St Paul to the
Ephesians)

Blaikie writes that in the
Lord...

qualifies, not parents, but obey,
and indicates that the element or life which even children lead in
fellowship with Christ makes such obedience more easy and more graceful.
(The
Pulpit Commentary: Ephesians 6)

Salmond writes that in the
Lord ...

defines the quality of the obedience
by defining the sphere within which it is to move—a Christian obedience
fulfilled in communion with Christ.

Vincent adds that the idea is
that...

The children being with their parents
in the Lord, are to be influenced by religious duty as well as by
natural affection. (Vincent, M. R. Word Studies in the New Testament
3:403)

For this is
right - right not just in the sense of befitting but in that it is
righteous or what is defined by law as proclaimed in the Divine
commandment. It is the proper course to follow in an orderly
society. This is God's righteous design, His template for a family life
of order rather than disorder and even utter chaos. Therefore, it should
not be surprising to discover that virtually every culture and society
recognizes and is built upon the premise that children are to respect
and obey their parents. There is an order in nature, ordained of God,
that argues for the rightness of an action.

Whoever is wise, let him understand
these things; Whoever is discerning, let him know them. For the ways of
the LORD are right, And the righteous (Lxx = dikaios) will
walk in them, but transgressors will stumble in them. (Hosea 14:9)

David adds
that ...

The precepts of the LORD are right,
rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening
the eyes. (Psalms 19:8)

Paul
writes...

So then, the Law is holy, and the
commandment is holy and righteous (right - dikaios) and good.
(See noteRomans 7:12)

Right (1342)
(dikaios from dike = originally manner or tendency then
coming to mean the designation for the right of established custom or
usage. Dike is an expected behavior or conformity, not according to
one's own standard, but according to an imposed standard.) describes
that which is in accordance with what God requires and so is in
accordance with His compelling standards. In man to man relations
dikaios describes a right relationship, here of parent to child, where
the child's hearkening to the parent is the essence of godly
parent-child relationship.

Vine has
this note on dikaios noting that it was...

first used of persons observant of
dike, custom, rule, right, especially in the fulfilment of duties
towards gods and men, and of things that were in accordance with right.
The English word “righteous” was formerly spelt ‘rightwise’, i.e., (in
a) straight way. In the N.T. it denotes righteous, a state of being
right, or right conduct, judged whether by the Divine standard, or
according to human standards, of what is right. Said of God, it
designates the perfect agreement between His nature and His acts (in
which He is the standard for all men).

J Vernon McGee notes that...

It is right because it is
according to the will of God. It is actually more than right; it
is just. It is a righteous thing to do because it is God’s way. The
first lesson that a soldier must learn is obedience to those in
authority. He must follow orders. This basic training is learned in the
home. After the soldier has learned to obey, then he is in a position to
be promoted to the rank of an officer where he gives commands to others.
To know how to give orders depends largely on how the soldier learned to
obey. This basic training is found in the home with the parent-child
relationship, and then with the master-servant relationship. The
victories of the Christian life are won in the home and in the place of
business. (McGee,
J V: Thru the Bible Commentary: Thomas Nelson)

Paul is quoting
from the "Ten Commandments" and as is usually his practice
quotes almost exactly from the Septuagint (LXX)...

Exodus
20:12
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in
the land which the LORD your God gives you." (Comment: It is
worth noting that in the New Testament all Ten Commandments except the
fourth [Honor the Sabbath] are restated and are to be obeyed in the
power of the Spirit's filling and under grace.)

Jesus sets the
example declaring

"I do not have a demon; but I
honor My Father, and you dishonor Me. (John 8:49)

Solomon warns that...

He who curses his father or his
mother, His lamp will go out in time of darkness. (Proverbs 20:20)

Honor your father and mother -
honor describes the disposition out of which obedience is born. In other
words, obedience is the duty. Honor is the disposition. To honor
one's parents means to show them respect and love, to care for them as
long as they need, and to seek to bring honor to them by the way one
lives.

John MacArthur has an
excellent application point noting that...

Honor is the attitude behind the act.
The act is obedience, and honor is the attitude. Remember that an act
without the proper attitude is hypocrisy. If you do what your parents
tell you to do but you hate it and you’re unwilling and nasty about it,
then you’re a hypocrite. If you do what your parents tell you to do but
you’re bitter, fearful, reluctant, and selfish, that’s not the right
spirit. God is after the attitude much more than He’s after the act,
because if the attitude is right, the act will follow. But a right act
with a wrong attitude is nothing but hypocrisy. (MacArthur, J. The
Fulfilled Family. Chicago: Moody Press)

Honor
(5091)
(timao for time = honor, prize) means to show high regard
respect
for and so to count as valuable, to esteem, to value, to honor or to revere. To
show respect to someone is to
recognize their worth as a person (and if they are a parent to recognize
the validity of their role and their authority) and implies a considered evaluation or
estimation. Therefore, timao means to ascribe worth to
someone. To hold in awe. To assign value to something, including people considered as
property (slaves). It means to fix a value or price upon something and
so to prize it. The idea is to treat as precious! To honor is a social
action describing how people within a society should evaluate one
another. Honor usually results in people being elevated in the eyes of
the community. Honoring involves a proper attitude as well as
appropriate behavior.

To honor is to
manifest an attitude of love, respect, and disposition of one's heart
which in the context of the child/parent relationship yields the fruit
of obedience. Lenski comments that to honor reflects

"the form love assumes towards those
who are placed above us by God"

Time/timao
are the root of the rare English word timocracy which describes a
government which is dominated by those who love special honors, a
concept developed by Plato and expanded on by Aristotle. To
the early Greeks honor meant the value placed on a person and
then began to describe those people of high position. At first honor
related to the possessions which one had and only later did it come to
mean the honor which is conferred on a deserving person. In the great
Greek city-states of Athens and Sparta honor was a matter of civic
recognition.

This word group
(timao and time) is often used as a term of reverence, preciousness, and
honor regarding God the Father and Christ.

Detzler
notes that...

There are several sound reasons why
we should honor other people. First, Christ set the example for us in
giving honor where it is due. Second, the image of God stamped on us by
our Creator qualifies each one for honor. Third, it is part of Christian
humility to give honor to others. Fourth, it helps unify the church when
we honor other Christians, and the same can be said about one's family.
It is therefore right to give honor. (Detzler,
Wayne E: New Testament Words in Today's Language. Victor. 1986)

NIDNTT has
this note on the use of the root word time (honor) in
classical Greek writing that...

The word time (from the Iliad
on) is used in secular Gk. with the following main meanings: (a)
worship, esteem, honour (used of people); (b) worth, value, price (of
things); (c) compensation, satisfaction, penalty.

In Gk. thought time is the proper recognition which a man enjoys
in the community because of his office, position, wealth etc., and then
the position itself, the office with its dignity and privileges. The
time of a person, state, or deity must be distinguished from that of
another. It is a personal possession. Slaves had no time. (Brown,
Colin, Editor. New International Dictionary of NT Theology. 1986.
Zondervan)

The Dictionary
of Biblical Imagery writes that...

To honor someone or something
is to acknowledge and show respect for the authority or worthiness of
the object of one’s honor. To show honor entails an affective side (a
feeling of respect or reverence) and a set of outward manifestations,
such as gestures (bowing before or being attentive) or actions
(conferring titles or privileges). All these ways of showing honor
elevate the person or thing that is honored. In addition to the primary
meaning, honor is used in the Bible to name something possessed by
certain people or things as an innate quality. (Ryken, L., et al.
Dictionary of Biblical Imagery Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press)

Timao can
mean to provide for someone financially as a means of showing due
respect, as in assisting widows (1Ti 5:3). Thus it includes the ideas of
showing respect, treating graciously and meeting needs, including
financial ones.

Larry Richards
adds that timao and time...

are also social terms, referring to
the proper respect gained through one's position or wealth, or to the
position itself. The use of "honor" in the NT parallels the concept in
the OT and in secular Greek. God is honored when we respect his Word and
do those things that please him (e.g., Jn 8:49-51; 1 Co 6:20). We are to
obey governing authorities and treat them with due respect (Ro 13:1-7).
Believers are encouraged to "honor one another above" themselves (Ro
12:10) and indeed to "show proper respect [timao, "honor"] to everyone:
Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king" (1 Pe
2:17). We are to treat everyone with whom we come in contact with
appropriate respect. (Richards,
L O: Expository Dictionary of Bible Words: Regency)

Timao is in
the is present imperativewhich is a command for
children to continually honor their parents. It is singular so Paul is
addressing each child individually. We are to have this attitude of
honor, respect, and reverence toward our parents all our lives.

Matthew 15:4 "For God said, 'Honor
your father and mother,' and, 'He who speaks evil of father or mother,
let him be put to death.'...8 'This people honors Me with their
lips, But their heart is far away from Me.

Matthew 19:19Honor your father and mother; and You shall
love your neighbor as yourself."

Matthew 27:9 Then that which was spoken through Jeremiah the
prophet was fulfilled, saying, "And they took the thirty pieces of
silver, the price (time) of the one whose pricehad been set by
the sons of Israel; (Fulfilling the Messianic prophecy in Zechariah
11:12-13)

Mark 7:6 And He said to them,
"Rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written, 'This
people honors Me with their lips, But their heart is far away
from Me...10 "For Moses said, 'Honor your father and your
mother'; and, 'He who speaks evil of father or mother, let him be put to
death';

Mark 10:19 "You know the commandments, 'Do not murder, Do not
commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not
defraud, Honor your father and mother.'"

Luke 18:20 "You know the commandments, 'Do not commit adultery,
Do not murder, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honor
your father and mother.'"

John 5:23 in order that all may honor the Son, even as
they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor
the Father who sent Him.

John 8:49 Jesus answered, "I do not have a demon; but I honor
My Father, and you dishonor Me.

John 12:26 "If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I
am, there shall My servant also be; if anyone serves Me, the Father will
honor him.

Acts 28:10 And they also honored us with many marks of
respect; and when we were setting sail, they supplied us with all we
needed.

Ephesians 6:2Honor your father and mother (which is the
first commandment with a promise),

"It is better to deserve honors and not to have them than to have them
and not to deserve them."

There is a great
story about Queen Victoria bestowing honor

Queen Victoria frequently attended a
Bible study led by one of her footmen. One evening she asked him: "When
do you think the Lord will return?" The footman was perplexed, and told
the monarch that the Bible gave no specific time for the Lord's return.
So we should always be ready for His return. At this the Queen said:
"Oh, I do hope that the Lord returns during my lifetime. I should love
to lay at His feet the crown of the kingdom and the empire." That
gracious old Queen knew to whom honor truly belongs, the King of kings.

When a child
marries, his relationship to his parents changes ("FOR THIS CAUSE A
MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL CLEAVE TO HIS WIFE..."
Eph 5:31) but not his responsibility to provide for them as Paul
explains in his first epistle to Timothy writing...

Honor widows who are widows
indeed; but if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first
learn to practice piety in regard to their own family, and to make some
return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God. (1
Ti 5:3-4).

Comment: Meeting the physical
needs of one's family is a part of Christian stewardship. Christians
should manage personal resources in a responsible way to care for family
needs.

In short, children are not just to
manifest an attitude of honor but to back it up with appropriate action,
especially financial support if that is needed. In the Old Testament the
child was to honor their parent with respect and support for as long as
they lived. This is God's design for the family and assures that in this
way the family stays together.

First (4413)
(protos) in the present context refers to first in respect to
time. The fifth commandment (Ex 20:12; Deut 5:16) is actually the only
commandment accompanied by a specific earthly promise.

Entole is most
common of the words meaning commandment, stressing the authority of the
one commanding, while éntalma (1778),
a religious commandment, stresses the thing commanded.

Promise (1860)
(epaggelia from epaggello = announce upon, announce with
certainty as to what one will do) was primarily a legal term in ancient
Greece and denoted summons which came to mean a promise to do or give
something.

It is worth noting
that the other commandments promised something if they were
not kept!

The fifth
commandment so important that God attaches the inherent motivation of a
promise, because this commandment is the key to all human relationships
and the passing on of a righteous heritage. God designed the family and
if this commandment is not "functioning", that design will be disturbed.
Witness the dissolution of the family in America, one cause being the
failure of children to obey this one command!

Greek: hinaeusoigenetai(3SAMS)kaiese(2SFMI)makrochroniosepitesges.Amplified: That
all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. (Amplified
Bible - Lockman)NLT: And this is the promise: If you honor your father and
mother, "you will live a long life, full of blessing." (NLT
- Tyndale House)Phillips: that it may be well with you and that you may
live long on the earth'. (Phillips:
Touchstone)Wuest: in order that it may be well with you, and in
order that you may live long upon the earth. (Eerdmans) Young's Literal: which is the first command with a promise,
'That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live a long time upon
the land.'

Notice that the
text in the NAS is in all capital letters. What is the
significance? The NAS is unique among all the translations in that it
uses all caps to "identify" Old Testament quotations, in
the present case identifying Eph 6:3 as a quotation from Deut 5:16.

So that (hina)
introduces a purpose clause. As an aside, as you are reading the
Scriptures and encounter a "so that" (occurs 975x in NAS95), always
pause to ponder the passage, asking questions such as "What is the
purpose?" "What are the conditions necessary for fulfilling that
purpose?" "Who is impacted by the fulfillment of that purpose?"
These questions will usually "force" you to re-read the preceding
passage or passages. As this practice (inductive
Bible study)
becomes more habitual and natural, you will find that your comprehension
and retention of those passages increases. What you are doing when you
engage in this practice is establishing the contextand at the same time in
effect are meditating
on the passage, a spiritual discipline God promises to bless (Josh 1:8-note,
Ps 1:1-note,
Ps 1:2-note,
Ps 1:3-note)

It is interesting
to note that Paul in quoting the OT stops short of the last portion of
the verse, deleting the phrase on the land which the
LORD your God gives you (Deut 5:16, cp Dt 4:40 is a parallel
conditional promise directed primarily to the parents) for that portion of the promise
(the land) was
specifically for Israel.

Constable
explains that...

When he restated the promise
connected with obeying the fifth commandment, Paul changed it. God
promised obedient Jewish children long life in the Promised Land (Ex
20:12; Deut 5:16). Since He has not promised Christians a particular
piece of land Paul stated the more general promise that lay behind the
specific promise, namely longer physical life on earth. Normally
children who obey their parents avoid the perils that would shorten
their lives. (Bolding added)

It may be well
with you - That it would be well is logical. What would
happens to children who received no instruction or correction from their
parents? This would be social anarchy, and is a sad apt description of
much of our modern society, where the break up of families has been
accompanied by a void in the exercise parental authority and the result
is not well.

It is interesting
(and sad) to note that One of the reasons God gave for the Jews being
sent into Babylonian exile was a failure to honor parents (Ezek.
22:7, 15 "They have treated father and mother lightly within you.").
The blessing aspect of this command is wonderful, but here is a
suggestion of the opposite effect for mistreating parents. This is a
very serious commandment and calls for serious hearkening!

Obedience and
honor to those who give birth and life is regarded as a virtue among all
nations and religions. How much more should this be true in the case of
children whose parents have led them into spiritual birth and life as
well.

Well (2095)
(eu eu)
is an adverb meaning fine, well, good. It pertains to that which is good
and beneficial (especially in a moral or ethical sense), as for example in interpersonal relationships (eu
poieo = do good or show kindness, Mark 14:7). Eu is found in the
phrase "eu prassein" meaning to do well, act correctly, get along
well, be prosperous (Acts 15:29). Eu is used in
commendations to mean "Well done!". "Excellent!" "Splendid!" (Mt 25:21, 23, Lk 19:17).
Eu is frequently found as the prefix to compound verbs where it
can either convey the meaning of well or good or can intensify the
meaning of the main verb.

These LXXuses help understand the
meaning of eu in the NT, for in the OT it is
clearly associated with obedience and of children and adults (note repeated uses in Deuteronomy)

Genesis 12:13 "Please say that
you are my sister so that it may go well (Lxx = eu) with me
because of you, and that I may live on account of you."

Genesis 40:14 (Joseph to
Pharaoh's chief cup bearer after he interprets the cup bearer's dream)
"Only keep me in mind when it goes well (Lxx = eu) with you, and
please do me a kindness by mentioning me to Pharaoh, and get me out of
this house.

Exodus 1:20 So God was good
(Lxx = eu) to the midwives, and the people multiplied, and became
very mighty.

Deuteronomy 4:40 "So you shall
keep His statutes and His commandments which I am giving you today, that
it may go well (Lxx = eu) with you and with your children after
you, and that you may live long on the land which the LORD your God is
giving you for all time."

Deuteronomy 5:29 'Oh that they
had such a heart in them, that they would fear Me, and keep all My
commandments always, that it may be well (Lxx = eu) with
them and with their sons forever!

Deuteronomy 5:33 "You shall
walk in all the way which the LORD your God has commanded you, that you
may live, and that it may be well (Lxx = eu) with you, and that
you may prolong your days in the land which you shall possess.

Deuteronomy 6:18 "And you
shall do what is right and good in the sight of the LORD, that it may be
well (Lxx = eu) with you and that you may go in and possess the
good land which the LORD swore to give your fathers,

Deuteronomy 6:3 "O Israel, you
should listen and be careful to do it, that it may be well (Lxx =
eu) with you and that you may multiply greatly, just as the LORD, the
God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and
honey.

Deuteronomy 6:24 "So the LORD
commanded us to observe all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God for
our good (Lxx = eu) always and for our survival, as it is today.

Deuteronomy 10:13 and to keep
the LORD's commandments and His statutes which I am commanding you today
for your good (Lxx = eu)?

Deuteronomy 12:25 "You shall
not eat it (referring to the blood), in order that it may be
well (Lxx = eu) with you and your sons after you, for you will be
doing what is right in the sight of the LORD.

Deuteronomy 12:28 "Be careful
to listen to all these words which I command you, in order that it may
be well (Lxx = eu) with you and your sons after you forever, for
you will be doing what is good and right in

Joshua 24:20 "If you forsake
the LORD and serve foreign gods, then He will turn and do you harm and
consume you after He has done good (Lxx = eu) to you."

Ruth 3:1-noteThen Naomi her
mother-in-law said to her, "My daughter, shall I not seek security for
you, that it may be well (Lxx = eu) with you?

Proverbs 3:27-note
by William ArnotDo not withhold
good (Lxx = eu) from those to whom it is due, When it is in your
power to do it.

Eu is found
6 times in the NT...

Matthew 25:21 "His master said
to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave; you were faithful
with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things, enter into
the joy of your master.'...23 "His master said to him, 'Well
done, good and faithful slave; you were faithful with a few things, I
will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your
master.'

Mark 14:7 "For the poor you always have with you, and whenever
you wish, you can do (poieo) them good; but you do not always have Me.

Luke 19:17 "And he said to him, 'Well done, good slave,
because you have been faithful in a very little thing, be in authority
over ten cities.'

Acts 15:29 that you abstain from things sacrificed to idols and
from blood and from things strangled and from fornication; if you keep
yourselves free from such things, you will do (prasso) well. Farewell."

Ephesians 6:3 that it may be well with you, and that you
may live long on the earth.

AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON
THE EARTH: kai ese (2SFMI) makrochronios epi tes ges: (live
long. Dt 5:16. Ps 91:16 Is 38:10)(on the earth Mt 5:5

That - This
word (hina) is not present in the Greek text, but added by most
translations to emphasize that long life is also the result of
obedience to parents.

Those who act
properly toward parents are promised well-being and longevity as a
general principle. In other words, obedience to this
commandment yields a qualitative and quantitative benefit. The quality
of the child's life will be richer and fuller. The quantity
(so to speak) of the
child's life will be longer, living out the fullness of time God has
allotted to them on the earth.

John MacArthur
applies this promise eschatologically writing that...

When we are obedient children, when
we honor our parents, and when our relationships in the home are right,
we’ll have a full and rich lifetime here, we’ll live with Him in the
kingdom for a thousand years (see study of The Millennium),
and we’ll live with Him in the new heavens and the new earth for
eternity. (MacArthur, J. The Fulfilled Family. Chicago: Moody Press)

Live long (3118)
(makrochronis from makro = long + chronos = time)
literally means long timed and so long lived. Enduring a long time.
Although this promise is true in principle, the blessed hope (Titus
2:13-note) of
the imminent return of our Bridegroom to catch up His Bride is to be
more desired, longed for, expectedand anticipated than long life in these
mortal bodies, the outer man of which is decaying day by day (cp 2Cor
4:16-note).

Wiersbe
writes that live long...

does not mean that everyone who died
young dishonored his parents. He was stating a principle: when children
obey their parents in the Lord, they will escape a good deal of sin and
danger and thus avoid the things that could threaten or shorten their
lives. But life is not measured only by quantity of time. It is also
measured by quality of experience. God enriches the life of the obedient
child no matter how long he may live on the earth. Sin always robs us;
obedience always enriches us. (Wiersbe,
W: Bible Exposition Commentary. 1989. Victor)

Hoehner
comments here Paul reiterates...

a general principle that obedience
fosters self-discipline, which in turn brings stability and longevity in
one’s life. (Stated conversely, it is improbable that an undisciplined
person will live a long life. An Israelite who persistently disobeyed
his parents was not privileged to enjoy a long, stable life in the land
of Israel. A clear example of this was Eli’s sons Hophni and Phinehas
[1Sa 4:11].) Though that promise was given to Israel in the Old
Testament, the principle still holds true today. (Walvoord,
J. F., Zuck, R. B., et al: The Bible Knowledge Commentary. 1985. Victor)

McGee notes
that...

Samson and Absalom are two examples
in Scripture of boys who did not follow this commandment, and their
lives were short. Samson, a judge, died when he was a young man. Absalom
rebelled against his father David, and he was killed when he was a young
man. (McGee,
J V: Thru the Bible Commentary: Thomas Nelson)

MacDonald
comments that...

In the ﻿OT﻿, a Jewish child who
obeyed his parents did enjoy a long life. In this Gospel Age, it is not
a rule without exceptions. Filial obedience is not always connected with
longevity. A dutiful son may die at an early age. But it is true in a
general way that the life of discipline and obedience is conducive to
health and longevity, whereas a life of rebellion and recklessness often
ends prematurely. (MacDonald,
W & Farstad, A. Believer's Bible Commentary: Thomas Nelson)

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