'Drakengard 3': A weird game wrapped in a bloody erotic adventure

Updated 8:20 pm, Friday, May 23, 2014

The human adult playing “Drakengard 3” becomes Zero, an Intoner whose goal is to kill her five sisters, and get as bloodied as possible in the process.

The human adult playing “Drakengard 3” becomes Zero, an Intoner whose goal is to kill her five sisters, and get as bloodied as possible in the process.

Photo: Photos Courtesy Of Square Enix

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Once Zero has enough of her enemies' blood on her, the Intoner Mode makes her a killing machine.

Once Zero has enough of her enemies' blood on her, the Intoner Mode makes her a killing machine.

'Drakengard 3': A weird game wrapped in a bloody erotic adventure

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One does not simply pop a Japanese role-playing game into a console and not be prepared for a gaming experience verging on the abnormal.

Sometimes you get the feeling Japanese game developers are working on a whole different level of the human condition when designing their stories and game play.

Such is the case with “Drakengard 3,” a hack-and-slash fantasy role-playing game that goes heavy on the hack and slash, easy on the RPG and right over the edge on the psychotic sexual tension.

The game is a prequel to the “Drakengard” game series, which is a dark fantasy where humans cohabit with elves, dragons and other mythical creatures.

You play as Zero, an Intoner, who is set on a task to kill her five sisters, also Intoner. An Intoner is kind of like a gatekeeper who has the power to release The Watchers upon the world. The Watchers are old gods who want to kill all humans because we were “a mistake.”

Zero is teamed with a Dragon called Michael, or rather the reincarnated version of him called Mikhail. He will aid Zero in defeating her sisters — but only if he can kill Zero once the task is complete, I think.

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Now get this part: While it is a prequel, “Drakengard 3” happens in a different timeline from the core Drakengard story ... for the most part. Because there are several possible endings, the game doesn't always tie directly into the series' main plot.

There is also this evil flower growing out of Zero's right eye that I never really understood. But, then again, who cares? Just grab a sword, or spear, and roll with it.

From the very beginning of the game, you are thrown right into combat, the first of many in your bloody 40-plus-hour adventure.

Imagine a combination of “Three's Company,” “Sex and the City,” “Kill Bill” and any random Dario Argento film, and you have “Drakengard 3” in all its blood-soaked glory.

This is literal, by the way, because as Zero kills her way through each battle, she gets covered in blood. Once she is adequately soaked in her enemies' blood, it activates the special combat Intoner Mode that momentarily renders her into an unstoppable killing machine.

Parts, juices and who knows what else go flying. In a sick way, this combat is the game's crowning achievement.

There are button combos to employ, but really you can just mash your way through the whole game if you choose. In addition to ground-based fighting, there is also aerial combat involving dragons — which normally would be awesome, but the camera angles are a bit awkward.

The game also has this strange self-awareness that comes through in self-deprecating quips during combat, which for the most are either passive-aggressive wisecracks, or sexually charged one-liners.

And while humor can overcome many flaws — I would not be married now if this were not so — “Drakengard 3” does not muster enough dark humor to cover its most glaring flaw, frame rate. Anytime the Dragon pops into combat or you get more than a couple of enemies on-screen at once, the game turns into a Mexican jumping bean. This is frustrating, although never to the point where you want to stop playing.

I've read that some are trashing the game for poor graphics, but I disagree. While the look is nothing groundbreaking, the animations and graphics were OK. They don't add much to your play experience, but they don't subtract from the game either.

The story we've gone over, but the characters, man. They are rude, brash and, well, just mean. I spent more time hoping Zero would meet a horrific end than wanting to help her kill her equally vile sisters.

Each sister has a set of male followers (yup, you know where this is going), who follow their mistresses and empower them ... in the “you know” way.

The Disciples eventually will join Zero, but only once she defeats the sister they serve, upon which they become Zero's disciple/sex toy.

Basically, the Disciples are nothing more than sex fodder for Zero and her sisters — and these gals do love to talk about their sexual exploits, constantly.

In all, the game is just good enough to keep you coming back to see what happens, which is totally confusing to a “Drakengard” noob like me.

As for a quick description? Simply, you can sum up the game as oversexed pixies fall in love with death and carnage only to realize that ... “there is no spoon.”