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Thursday, September 25, 2008

Does anybody out there speak Czechoslovakian? A reader has some recipes that need translation.

Need fundraising ideas for the school prom.

The number of beauty pageant sponsorships are increasing beyond my means - is anybody interested in sponsoring a young lady? Amounts are typically $25 - $100 although one young lady needs $450 for her pageant.

If you have ideas or wish to sponsor, please send me an email at mrs@retro-housewife.com.

I read the following comment in an article about the $700 billion our free market loving government is about to blow.

"There would also be a two-year ban on multimillion-dollar payouts for fired executives."

Is this a new way of saying:

"We are going to throw those lying, cheating, stealing, moronic imbeciles that were running these corporations in jail and throw away the key - right after we get back all the billions in bonuses they were paid for running our economy into the ground"?

RH

PS. Any Executive who claims he/she didn't know what was going on should have their sentence doubled.

Monday, September 22, 2008

I have to warn ya'll his own personal bias is usually reflected in his movies - let's just say he is about as "Fair and Balanced" as Fox News is "Fair and Balanced" - both quite entertaining, but double check your facts if you are going to be tested on it.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Germans have a saying that one hears quite often: "Frauen und Technik" which means literally translated "Women and Technology" - to get the full meaning, you have to imagine an exaggerated rolling of the eyes and shaking of the head on the part of the speaker - not to mention the sardonic tone it is said with.

In short, German men believe German women don't understand technical things - computers, phones, home theater systems etc. (They overlook the fact that women manage just fine with kitchen appliances, washing machines and other "feminine" appliances.) German women seem perfectly happy to relinquish the programming of the VCR or the set up of their new laptop to a worthy male. American women, at least the cunning ones, do this too, although they have grown a bit rusty and are not quite as elegant with their execution of some of the finer points.

Then there are those silly women who actually parade around their technical know-how like a badge of honor - talking about, or even worse, demonstrating advanced technical ability in one area or another. While this may a good strategy at work - in your personal life it will only bring aggravation and suffering. I know this from experience - I was one of those silly women.

Luckily I developed a whopping case of Chronic Technoamnesiasyntosis before too much damage had been done to my personal well-being and sanity.

As it turns out, once people find out that you know what to do when "they lose their Internet" or their screen suddenly turns cerulean blue, or they can't print, or their computer slows down to the speed of cold molasses, - they will not hesitate to call you the second they think something is wrong with their computer. Not just once - but every 5 minutes until the problem has been fixed.

Not only that, but once you help them with their current problem, everything that goes wrong with their system in the future is now your fault. Your friends and family will think nothing of keeping you on the phone for 45 minutes or longer while they try to get their email - they don't care that you have something on the stove, kids to pick up or that you were actually busy with something else. Nope - the world just has to stop spinning until your sister can read her email.

Your children will have no problem adding technical support to their list of things you can do for them - no sexism there! They will also expect to have access to the Internet (high-speed of course) no matter where they are. You are expected to get it for them. (My daughter would call me to troubleshoot her Internet connection at school over the phone - instead of using the school's tech support - easier to call Mom.)

I figure with the current rate of technological advancement I am on the hook for at least another year or two before I can convincingly place my coffee cup in the ejected CD ROM drive. I have started making jokes centered around the oven and stove in the kitchen when anyone mentions "Burning a DVD" and run for the thermometer when one of my kids tells me "I think I have a virus". So far they just roll their eyes and say "very funny Mommy, now can you help me?" (The first time OK - but after losing the key to the anti-virus software for the 5Th time - I am thinking "slacker").

At least I didn't make the same mistake with the TV. I do an Oscar winning performance of "Woman who can't locate the power button on the remote control much less change the channel to what you want to watch". I also reinforce my new image by asking to use "that iPod thing" and then mistakenly cranking up the volume to rock-concert level.

I am going to get myself an iPod of my own - but nobody will EVER see me use it!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

I have been thinking about Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton - about how they measure up as role models for my daughter - who is about to start applying for college and is thus embarking on her adult life.

Here's what I see:

Two intelligent women. - I have criticized Mrs. Clinton - but I never said she wasn't a smarty pants. After listening to Mrs. Palin, I would have to say she is a smarty pants too.

Two different sets of political convictions. Showing that intelligent people can disagree.

One woman who has sacrificed - at least somewhat - her own political career for the good of her family - whether she meant to or not.

One woman who has sacrificed - at least somewhat - her family for the good of her political career - whether she meant to or not.

A rather good illustration for a girl of the difficulties involved, hard choices to be made and potential outcomes - if you're lucky - of deciding whether you would like to emphasize home and family or career or a mix thereof in your life. (And I say lucky because there are no guarantees - right?)

Two women who care about people and the future of this country. - Argue all you want - but I can sure think of better things to do than run for political office if it were just selfish concerns that motivated those gals.

Two good role models - whatever my daughter decides to do with her life - there are lessons to be learned from both Mrs. Palin and Mrs. Clinton.

RH

PS: Hillary Clinton is meant in #3 and Sarah Palin in #4 - in case you were wondering.

Stupid, Stupid Me. What a goose. I was almost ready to trash this lady based on what I was hearing in the media. I could kick myself. What an idiot I am. My only saving grace is that I had the good sense to watch her speech for myself. Phew.

Please do that too. I think we have some really good candidates on both sides - so do yourselves a favor - listen to what THEY THEMSELVES have to say and not their nasty hangers-on types in our wonderful Free (From Any Useful Information) Press.