Learning to love

Part 6

Confession and an understanding of truth

[This story was fabricated and created by me, the
author.Any similarity to any real life situation,event, or person(s) is purely
of coincidence. Please do not distribute this story in any way, shape, part, or
form without my expressed consent.]

Tommy and I walked
hand in hand along the dirt road until we made it to the main drive. We
dropped each others hand and continued to walk towards the house. I was
more nervous than I was letting on. I was going to confess my
homosexuality to one, maybe two adults that I really didn't know well. I
looked over at Tommy as we walked into the front yard of the
house. He had a smile on his face as if he had, not a care in the
world. He's beautiful I thought to myself. The sun
was almost touching the horizon and casting muted
colors of light on him. He looked at me
watching him, and his smile expanded until I could see his pearly
white teeth. I gave him a nervous smile in return.

"It will be just fine Brent.
Relax." He told me.

"I'm trying too, but this is a little
scary for me. Connie is the only adult that knows I'm gay, and even her
knowing scares me sometimes. I've known and loved her all my
life. I barely know your parents and I'm about to tell them the biggest
secret of my life." We reached the bottom of the steps leading up to the
porch and paused.

"You've got me now," Tommy said. "I
know my parents and the way they feel about my being gay. They will
probably be more concerned about the fact I have a boyfriend now, and that my
boyfriend and I have only known each other for a DAY!" He laughed and
guided me up the steps and stopped once again before opening the front
door. "You ready Babe? I promise you it will be ok." The
look of certainty in his eyes and the dimpled smile I was beginning to love so
much, instilled a shot of confidence in me and I nodded as he opened the front
door and we walked in.

I could hear the sound of the television
coming from the family room, as Tommy and I entered. Mike was sitting in
his recliner watching David and Scott fidgeting in front of him. Both
boys looked over at Tommy and I when they heard us approach. Mike looked
in our direction as well.

"Hey guys." Mike said to us, then turned
back to David and Scott. "Go wash up and get ready for dinner, and
Scott, that means with soap, not just running your hands under the
water. Now scoot." Both boys turned and passed us on their way to
do as Mike had told them and when David passed Tommy, he shot a smirk at both
of us. I steeled myself for what Mike might say next and we walked over
to stand next to him.

"I think you two need to wash up for
dinner. We'll have a talk afterwards." He then looked me in the
eyes and said, "Don't look so nervous Brent. I'm not mad, but we all
need to discuss a few things and set a few ground rules. Nothing too
restrictive, but...well, like I said, we'll talk later. Now you two go
wash up." I looked at Tommy and he gave me a smile.

"Come on Brent.
I'll show you where." Tommy turned to head towards the back of the house and
I turned with him to follow. Mike stopped me before I took my first
step to follow Tommy. He stood up from his recliner and came up to
me. I lowered my head, looking towards my feet. I was still feeling
nervous and didn't think I could look him in the face just now. I felt his
hand as he placed his finders under my chin, and lifted my head up to look
him in the face. When I saw his face, he wore a small smile.

"You really do look like your dad, but he
doesn't have those soul mirroring eyes of yours." Mike was looking deep
into my eyes, then a kind of wistful expression seemed to pass over his face,
and he seemed to check himself and continue, "Listen son. You
have nothing to be afraid of here. How about you give us a hug and
then get ready for dinner." He took his hand from under my chin and I
felt his arms embrace me and pull me into a friendly hug. I returned his
embrace and the tension seemed to flow out of me as we both tightened the
embrace, then let go of each other. He smiled at me and I returned it,
somewhat sheepishly. "Now scoot!" He gave me a slight shove in
Tommy's direction and I heard him chuckle a bit as I followed Tommy out of the
family room.

Tommy led me back to the washroom and we
used the basin to wash our hands. Tommy looked over at me as we both
used an end of a towel to dry our hands. "See Brent? I told you it
was going to be ok." Then in a more serious tone, "I'm so happy
Brent. You make me feel so warm inside and you are just
so...beautiful." He shook his head, "I just don't know how I got so
lucky." I dropped my end of the towel and looked at him with a smile
forming on my lips.

"You haven't gotten lucky YET! All we've
done so far is kiss. The lucky part will come a little later..I
HOPE!" I gave him a lustful leer and he started laughing. We then
heard his mom call out, DINNER! Tommy hung the towel on a hook and
we left the washroom. I followed behind him and soon we entered
into a large room with a table that looked like it could comfortably seat an
army.

Mike
was sitting at the far end of the massive table.
Along the right of the table, from him, were seated David, Scott, Tina and Robin.
The seat immediately along the left side from him was empty at the
moment, followed by Angie seated in a high chair and two more empty
seats. Brandon was seated at the end of the table, opposite his fathers end,
and I found this kind of funny. I always thought of the ends
of a table reserved for the heads of the household, and here sat his
majesty Brandon, surveyor of his kingdom. I chuckled to myself and followed
Tommy. Tommy walked over to the two empty chairs on the end of the left
side.

"Here Brent, you can sit in the last seat
and I'll sit here next to you." Before I was able to pull out the chair
and take a seat, Jamesson came walking in the room and he looked like he'd
been crying. He looked over at Tommy and I, then walked up to Tommy and
stood right in front of him. He looked up into Tommy's face and then
yelled, "I HATE YOU!" He gave Tommy a kick in the shin, which made Tommy
cry out and lean over to grab his leg. Jamesson then turned and looked
at me. His face scrunched up, then he burst into tears and went running
from the room.

"What the heck?!" Tommy called out from
his squatting position, as he was busy rubbing the shin that had just been
kicked. Carolyn came walking into the dining room, looking around and
then spotted Tommy bent over rubbing his leg.

"What was all that yelling about?" She
said, as she scanned the people sitting around the table, then looked at me
and finally focused on Tommy. Tommy looked up and noticed her looking
at him.

"How am I supposed to know?!
Jamesson just came walking in here, yelled he hated me, kicked me in the
shin, then starting bawling like a baby and ran back out!" Tommy said. I
looked towards Mike sitting at the far end of the table, he had his eyes
locked on David, who was looking at him with a little fear on his face.
Mike turned from him and looked at his wife.

"Um...I think I know what's up." He
then looked over at Tommy. "Oh come on now son, get up off the floor and
you and Brent take your seats. He couldn't have hurt you as bad as all
that. I'll go talk to Jamesson and bring him back so we can start dinner
before any more surprises occur." He pushed himself away from the table
and stood up.

Tommy straightened himself from his crouch
and said to his father, "What do you mean he couldn't have hurt me that
bad? I bet I'm going have a huge bruise where that brat just kicked
me!"

"I think you'll live. Now you and Brent
sit down and I'll be right back." He left the room in the same
direction Jamesson had run out. Before I took my seat, I asked Tommy
if he was ok and he grumbled a little bit, but said yeah, that it still hurt
a bit. We pulled our chairs out and took our seats at the table. His
mom had left right after his father had, and now returned to the dining
room and she sat down in the chair to the left of Mike's. She started
talking to Angie, who at this point was starting to get a little fussy
from having been confined in her high chair for so long, without anything
to occupy her time, like eating. Everyone at the table looked around at
each other a few times as we waited for Mike to return. About fifteen
minutes passed before Mike came walking back in the room, holding Jamesson's
hand. Jamesson had his head bowed as his father led him in. Mike
looked down at Jamesson as they came to a stop and barely shook the hand that
was holding Jamesson's. All eyes at the table were now focused on the
both of them standing in the doorway. Jamesson removed his hand from his
fathers and looked up and saw everyone watching him. He looked over in
my direction and when he made eye contact, he lowered his head and came
walking towards me.

He walked
up to me and stopped. I was looking at him wondering what
was about to happen. Jamesson fidgeted a little then looked up at
me. Our eyes met and he said, "Sorry Brent. I didn't mean
to kick TJ." He lowered his head again, then took a deep breath and looked up.
He shifted his eyes from one of mine to the other then looked over next to
me where Tommy was seated, then back. A little hurt look came over his
face and then he said, "But you're sposed to be my boyfriend, not his."
He dropped his head again and looked at the floor. He had
had such a serious look in his eyes and had looked really hurt when he
said that. I looked up from him and turned and looked at the others
sitting around the table. Carolyn looked at me when our eyes met,
with a questioning glance. I felt heat in my face and knew that I
must be glowing red.

"Jamesson..." I heard Mike say
and I looked over at him. He was looking at Jamesson standing
beside me. Jamesson turned and looked up at his dad, who moved his chin up and
jerked his head towards the left. Jamesson turned back around and
then walked behind my chair and then stood on my right, facing Tommy.
He stood there a moment, then looked up at Tommy, who was looking down
at him. Tommy had a strange look on his face. A mix of astonishment and
also one of brotherly compassion as he looked into his brothers eyes.

"Sorry TJ. I'm sorry I kicked
you...I...I still love you a lot." Tommy turned in his chair and took a
hold of Jamesson and gave him a hug.

"I love you too Jamie and my shin
doesn't hurt very much anymore." Tommy looked up at the rest of the
people in the room, then back at Jamesson. "Why don't you go ahead and
sit down before the food gets cold. You and I will have a talk tonight
before we go to bed and I'm not mad at you any more. Ok?" Jamesson
nodded his head at his brother, turned and walked back around behind me,
and over to the chair that was across the table from me and took his
seat. I looked at Mike and saw that he had been looking at me. He
smiled at me and slightly shook his head as if in wonder, then he walked back
to the head of the table and sat down.

Mike took a look at all the people
seated around the table, then at me. "Brent, would you please say grace
before we begin?" His request caught me by surprise for a moment, then I
reached out my right hand for Tommy's left. Everyone else, reached and
took the hand of the person next to them and then I saw that everyone was
ready.

"Please bow your
head for grace." I took a deep breath then said, "Bless us, O Lord, and
these your gifts which we are about to receive from your bounty, through
Christ our Lord. Amen." I heard Amen repeated around the table and felt
Tommy give my hand a light squeeze before he released it.

"Thank you
Brent. Now lets eat!" Mike said and smiled at me.

What followed Grace
was organized chaos. The entire center of the table was loaded with more
food than I thought an army could eat. There was fried chicken, mashed
potatoes, corn on the cob, green beans, brussel sprouts (yuk!), sliced beets,
a dish of sliced tomatoes and sliced onions. There were three pitchers
filled with drinks, milk, tea and Kool Aide. Mike started us off by
picking up a basket of dinner rolls, taking one, and then passing it to his
left to start it's round of the table. Soon conversation started up as
more food was passed round. While I was serving myself from the bowl of
mashed potatoes, I looked over and saw Tommy dishing himself out a serving of
the brussel sprouts. He looked up at me watching him and then at his
plate with the offending vegetable, and then back at me.
He started laughing.

"Ok, so
that answers one of your questions, I guess? You sure you don't want me
to serve you some of this?" He turned and dipped the spoon in the bowl
of sprouts and made like to heap some onto my plate. I hurriedly set
the bowl of mashed potatoes I was holding down, and fended off his attempt
to deposit the mini cabbage looking balls of crap from my plate.

"You better not!" I
said, "Or you'll get a face full of potatoes!" Tommy laughed and
returned the spoon to the bowl and set the bowl down in the center of the
table, so whoever else might want some could reach it. "I don't know HOW
you can eat those things!" I said and gave a little shiver.

"This coming from
the boy who wont even drink fresh MILK!" Tommy laughed and
said.

"What was that?" I
heard and looked up at Carolyn to see her looking at me with the
question on her face. Tommy turned to look at his mom and
answered.

"Can you believe
that Brent wont drink fresh milk? He has to have it from a supermarket I
guess and it has to be in a carton, or he asks for verification from the
server and then only after taking a very, very small sampling taste to verify
it's tastelessness, will he then drink it." Tommy turned back and looked
at me with a large grin on his face.

"Is that
true?" I looked back over at his mom and nodded my head to
her.

"It's true. I
don't know how anyone can drink that stuff fresh. Ugh! It tastes like
sh...um...well it just doesn't tastes like milk!" I looked around the
table and everyone was staring at me like I had just grown another head on my
shoulders. I looked back to Carolyn and she was smiling and shaking her
head.

"Well, now that's a new one I've never heard
before." She said. "I guess having grow up and always drinking fresh
milk, I always thought everyone hated the taste of processed milk. The
kids always complain about the milk they have to drink in school because it's
processed." David, Scott, Tina, Robin, and even Brandon, were
nodding their heads emphatically. When I looked at Jamesson,
he was just staring at me with a kind of dreamy look on his face that
made me blush. Everyone went back to eating the food that was on their
plates and talking amongst themselves. Ever so often I would look up
at Jamesson and even though I noticed the food he had served himself had steadily
vanished, he seemed to always be looking at me when I looked across at him,
with that same captivated expression. I hope Tommy and him have a good
talk tonight like Tommy said they would. I might be spending a lot of
time over here, and to have Jamesson mooning over me every time I'm here,
could be a bit awkward.

The meal finally wound down. David
and Scott both asked permission to leave the table, and after Mike gave his
consent, they picked up their plates and a couple of the now empty serving
bowls, and carried them towards the kitchen. Brandon was next, taking
his plate and another empty dish with him as he left. Tina and Robin
followed, then Tommy asked his permission. When Tommy stood up, I did as
well and he grabbed my plate, set it on top of his, and then reached and
placed one empty bowl in another, picked them up and headed out of the
dining room towards the kitchen. I looked at the now empty table, with
the exception of Mike, Carolyn, Jamesson and Angie's dishes,
everything else had been efficiently removed. I looked at Mike, who
smiled at me, and I asked, "May I take yours and Mrs. Weber's dishes to the
kitchen for you?" Carolyn looked up at me and then at Mike as he said,
"Thank you Brent, and yes you may, son. Just give them a rinse in the
sink, and put them in the dishwasher." Jamesson jumped up from his seat
and asked his dad if he may be excused. Mike smiled at him, then looked
at me with the smile still on his lips, then gave Jamesson permission to be
excused. I went and collected Mike's and Carolyn's dishes. When I
started to leave and had walked behind Jamesson, who was still standing
by his seat, he picked up his dishes and followed me out.

In the kitchen,
Brandon and Tommy were scrapping the leftovers into the kitchen garbage bin,
then rinsing and stacking the dishes in the dishwasher. Tommy saw
me walk in and gave me a smile, then took the dishes from me and rinsed and
stacked them with the others. Jamesson stepped around me and walked over
to the sink and rinsed his plate and placed it in the dishwasher. He
took a sponge from the back of the sink, wet it, then took a small red plastic
bow, placed a couple drops of dish soap in it, filled it with water from
the tap, turned and when he saw me watching him, offered me a smile, and then
took the bowl and sponge with him as he headed back towards the dining
room.

"I wondered how everything was going to
get washed after that huge meal," I said to Tommy. "Does this go on
every night?" I asked. He looked over at me with a smile still on his
face.

"Yep, every night. The players change, but it's pretty much the same
routine." He looked around the kitchen and seeing no more dishes that required rinsing,
he took a box of dishwasher liquid from against the back splash
on the counter, filled a little cup in the door of the dishwasher, closed the cup
and the door, twisted a knob near the top of the dishwasher door, and
the sound of water swishing around started from the machine. Brandon
had already started wiping down the counter tops with a sponge when
Jamesson reentered the kitchen carrying his bowl of now dirty, soapy water and
the sponge. Brandon took both from him and emptied the bowl in the sink, rinsed
it out with clean water, along with the sponge, then placed both back behind
the sink, all prepared for the next use. When Brandon finished
and turned around, he looked at Jamesson, who had gone back to staring at
me. Brandon reached and took a hold of Jamesson's hand, then led the protesting
boy away with him, leaving just Tommy and I standing there.

I looked at Tommy and gave him a
smile. "You do know that Jamesson has somehow developed a crush on me,
right?"

Tommy smiled and nodded his head.
"I didn't at first, but when he said what he did about you being his
boyfriend, well, I then realized what the kick in the shin and the yell was
all about. I'll talk to him tonight before he goes to bed. I'll make
sure he knows that he can still be your friend, but I'll also make sure he
understands that there is a world of difference between, boyfriend and
friend!"

"Whew, thanks Cutey!" I said to him
in earnest. "I'm not sure I could deal with him every time I come over,
following me around like a faithful puppy, waiting for me to scratch behind
his ears." I chuckled and Tommy laughed. "He is cute though." I
said and gave Tommy a wink.

"Hey, now! He's got to wait in
line, at the faaaar end! I'm the only puppy allowed to follow you around
in THIS house." Tommy leered at me.

"Aw, come here you cute thing and let me
scratch you behind the ears!" I teasingly said to him.

"I'd rather you scratch me some place
else!" He rejoined, but then he blushed at what he had said. I
laughed as the color rose in his cheeks. I waited until I saw the blush
leave and then asked him how old his siblings were, because I had been
wondering all day. "Lets see. Angie is two, I already told you
that. Um...Robin is 6, Tina is 8, Jamesson is 10, David is 12, Brandon is 13
and I'm 14. Actually, Brandon is only 11 months younger than
me.

"And me only 9 months older than
him! I better do a little bit of rethinking about him." I
said.

"What do you mean you need to rethink
about him?" Tommy asked in a weird tone of voice. I looked him in
the eyes, wondering where this tone had come from.

"Because I was thinking he was maybe 11
or 12 years old, not our age. I think we're pretty good at picking up
the signs when someone looks down on us or treats us like we're younger
than we are. I just need to readjust my thinking and make sure I
don't do that with Brandon. Otherwise, he and I are not going to get
along and I'd rather have peace between him and I, for your benefit and mine,
than to have to deal with animosity every time we see each other.
Don't you think?" I had kept my eyes on Tommy the whole time I explained
what I meant, and saw a loosening of tension that I hadn't even noticed was
there, until I saw it leave him. Then I realized what it was caused
by. "Tommy, he's not in line cutey. Please don't feel like you
need to compete with everyone that I come in contact with. You won, and
I won. Our reward is each other. You have me
completely."

He looked at me and a little red crept
into his cheeks, then he sighed and said, "I still just can't believe you
chose me Brent. Every time I realize you're here with me, it's like a
surprise I keep receiving, over and over. I'm just amazed by you and so
happy that you're mine." I closed the few steps that separated us and took
him in my arms.

"No Tommy. I'm amazed by you.
You make me feel so alive and happy. I like what it does to me." I
leaned in and our lips met. He embraced me and I him. I loved the
feel of his arms around me and the taste of his mouth.

"Uh hmm!" Mike was standing at the
door into the kitchen looking at us as he startled Tommy and I with the
clearing of his throat. "The bathroom is upstairs if you two needed to
brush your teeth after dinner. I don't think each others tongues are as
effective as a toothbrush, hmm?" I was having a hard time getting back
out of the sink, with half a leg out of the kitchen window, seeings how I
had tried to jump through it when he had cleared his throat. Tommy
finally had to give me a little bit of assistance in maneuvering both my feet
back to the kitchen floor, then to support me a bit, because my jelly legs
weren't working well in helping me to stand. Tommy and Mike were
laughing so hard, I was surprised Tommy was able to function enough to lend me
help.

When Mike was finally able to take a
breath he said, "That's it! From now on, I'm carrying my video camera the
whole time you're over here Brent, because there is some really good shit that
happens around you and I'm not going to miss it again!" He started
laughing again and wiping his eyes.

Tommy was laughing as he asked me, "Are
you ok man?! You're as white as a sheet! Can you stand
up?"

My face was as hot as a super nova, as
the strength returned to my limbs and I stood up on my own without needing
Tommy's support. "I thin...yeah I think I'm ok now, but I tell you
what. If anything else happens to me today like this, someones going to
have to give me CPR or just bury me out back, preferably well away from the
chicken coup!" Mike exploded with a huge laugh and if he hadn't had a
firm grip on the door casing, I'm sure we would have had to pick him up off
the floor.

"My God Brent! How does your dad live day
to day with you around? I think I would have already laughed myself into
the grave just watching and listening to your reactions to things. He
has to be a much stronger man than me! Whew!" Mike laughed as he pulled
himself together.

"Well, actually, he's never been around
enough to even care what happens to me." That statement sobered every
one up in the kitchen, and I regretted saying it the moment the last word left
my mouth.

Mike got a serious
look on his face and said to me. "I think things are going to be a
lot different for you both here in Beulah, Brent. I know your father very well
and there is no way he can change the past, but I know he's very good
at changing the present and the future. I think you both are going to
find each other full of unsuspected surprises." He looked at
Tommy and then back at me. "Carolyn and would like to talk with
you and Tommy. Would you both please go into the dining room."
Mike stepped away from the door and made room so Tommy and I could precede
him, then he followed behind us. Carolyn was still sitting in the seat
she had occupied at dinner, and Angie was in her arms, sucking on a bottle and
trying to make a valiant effort to stay awake, but her eyelids
appeared to be winning the battle. Carolyn smiled at us as we walked in,
then Mike moved around Tommy and I, took the seat at the head of the table, and asked us to sit
in the seats to his right. Tommy took the one next to his dad, and I
sat in the one next to Tommy. My nervousness was evident, because I
was having problems deciding where to put my hands, on the table or keep them
in my lap. Tommy noticed, and reached for and took my left hand in is
right and held it on top of the table between us.

"Ok, now that we're all here, and Tommy
has helped pull Brent back in from the kitchen window, there are a few
questions that Tommy's mom and I have for you two and then we need to have a
nice long discussion." Mike began and gave me a huge smile for the blush
coloring my cheeks from the mention of the window scene. Carolyn had a
quizzical look on her face at the mention of it, but let it pass as Mike
continued. "Now, there's not much that we don't already know about
Tommy, but Brent, son, we really don't know you very well yet. From the
little I do know though, I can honestly say that you have caught me right
here," he placed his open hand over his heart, "and there's just a little more
I'd like to know tonight. First thing I would like to know is, are you
gay?"

Wow, I thought. Nothing like jumping
right into the shark tank. I decided I was going to be completely honest
about everything I would be asked and I answered him, "Yes sir. I'm
gay." He nodded his head at me and I felt Tommy squeeze my
hand.

"Ok, lets not regress here, I asked you to
please call me Mike, and I don't want any backsliding." He smiled as he
said this, and I smiled back. "Now that we've settled that you're gay,
I would like to know what the meaning of the kiss that David told
me about when he almost tore the door off the hinges to tell me what happened
while you and Tommy were out for your walk."

"Wait dad! It's not fair to Brent that
he has to answer all your questions and I just have to sit here and listen.
We're in this together!" Tommy gave my hand another squeeze,
which I returned in thanks to his speaking up for me." His dad
looked at him.

"Your turn will come in just a few
minutes Tommy. I'm not trying to put Brent on the spot and I'm
definitely not going to hurt him, so if you'll be patient, there are a few
things only Brent can answer for me and you'll get your chance to do the
same." He looked back at me and said, "Brent?"

"Well, Tommy and I went for the walk so
we could have some private time together, so we could talk and tell each other
some things about ourselves and get to know each other better. When
David and Scott saw us kissing, we had just finished talking and..." I looked
over towards Carolyn, who was watching me as I answered Mike and then I looked
back to Mike "...the reason we were kissing was I had just asked Tommy if he
would be my boyfriend and he said yes." Mike's eyes opened wide at this,
then quickly returned to normal.

"Ok, I see." Mike turned and looked
at his wife, who also seemed to be a bit surprised by my answer, then looked
back at me. "That wasn't exactly what I thought your reply would be,
actually, it's more of a shock and I think I'm not doing a very good job of
hiding my reaction." Suddenly I saw a red flush infuse Mikes face and a
little embarrassed look replaced the more serene one that had been there just
moments ago. I decided to go a little further and let everyone in the
room know a little bit more about my feelings, so I turned to
Tommy.

"Before we continue, I would like to say
something to Tommy and I would like both Mike and..and, " Carolyn spoke
up and said,"My name is Carolyn and I hate being called ma'am and Mrs. Weber
by people I'm fond of as much as Mike hates, Sir and Mr. Weber. Please
call me Carolyn." She smiled and nodded her head at me. I cleared
my throat before I picked back up what I was going to say. "Well I'd
like you both to also hear what I have to say to Tommy." I turned back
to Tommy, who was now looking me right in the eyes.

"Tommy. I
want you to know that I wont lie to you. I wont tell you
something false because I'm afraid that what I say might hurt your feelings or to save from
having my own hurt. Whatever truth you ask from me, you will receive.
So...please think about the things you want to ask me and then only
ask me if you are prepared for the answer. You've already experienced a little bit
of this from this morning when you questioned the kiss I gave you in the boys
restroom. I delayed the answer until I felt we were safe enough for
me to reveal it only to you. Your questions and my reply are only
for you. I wont share them with anyone else." I looked into his eyes. "But
you also need to make sure you don't NOT ask me the truth about
something that is really bothering you. If you do that, then what you will have
started doing, is to plant a seed of doubt into our relationship, and all it will
do is grow out of control, and eventually it will strangle all that we will
have built by that point and any future we have had together. Please
don't do that."
I then looked at Mike and Carolyn.

"Mike, Carolyn. Things that Tommy tells me in confidence, I will not
share with you. If you ask me about something that Tommy has told me in
confidence, I will tell you that you will need to talk to him. So please
don't ask me further about a subject concerning Tommy, if this way the
reply you received from me the first time you asked. You wont get the
answer from me. I can promise you this though. I will not
knowingly let Tommy do anything that will cause him to harm himself in a life
threatening manner and if I can not prevent that kind of action, then you will
know about it, so you can take whatever steps you need to prevent it." I
looked down at the table top and collected myself for the next part of what I
needed to say. It was hard for me to say this, but I wanted to be honest
with Tommy from the start. I looked back up and then turned to
Tommy. I squeezed his hand in mine.

"Tommy. I like
you a whole lot. Right now sitting here with your hand in mine, I feel warm
and safe and secure inside. I look at you and I see everything I could
hope for as far as physical attraction goes, and I also feel that as we get to
know each other better, we will make a more emotional connection as
well." Here comes the hard part, I steeled myself for it. "I can't
say I love you Tommy. I...I don't think I really know what love
is or how it feels." I felt my throat begin to constrict. "There is only
one person in my life right now that I know what love feels
like for me and that is Connie. I know what her love for me is too. But
that's the love I have for someone who has been with me my entire life.
The one person who has been there when I hurt my knee, who placed a
cooling towel on my forehead, and sat up all night caring for my fever or cold. The...the one who
came to watch me play basketball or swim, and
whose voice I heard over all the others as she yelled and screamed
encouragement for me to win, or who hugged me and bought me an
ice cream when I lost." Tears were now freely falling from my eyes and my vision
was blurred by them. I rubbed my eyes with my hand and looked down
at he table and got the last part out through the lump in my throat.
It came out in a strangled whisper, "That's the only love I know right
now." I looked back up to Tommy, "But...but Tommy, I...I want to know what love
is, if...if you'll let me learn to...to love you." I could barely breath through the
emotions choking off my voice. I felt Tommy stand up next to me and he pulled me
to my feet. Tears were falling from his eyes as he held my face between his
hands.

"Brent, I will let you learn to love me
if you let me learn to love you too. I want that more than
anything. I know a lot about what love is for my family and from them,
but I don't know a lot about the kind of love I want from you or for
you. But together we will learn what we want from each other."
Tommy bent down and gave me a kiss and then rubbed the tears from my face with
a thumb from each of his hands, as he held my cheeks cupped in them. I
felt another hand touch my right shoulder, and felt Tommy let go of my
face. I looked to my right and Carolyn was standing there with her hand
gently rubbing my should. I looked up into her face, and she had tears
streaking her cheeks.

"Brent, I know I'm just
a silly old woman, but I'm also the mother of seven wonderful children.
If any one of them love me as much as I know you love Connie, then it would
only be a small amount of how much I love them. I don't know Connie, I
know from just hearing you now that she holds the same amount of love for you
that I hold for my own children." She rubbed a tear from her right cheek
using the hand not currently on my shoulder. "If you don't mind.
There's nothing in the world I want more right this moment, than to give you a
hug and a kiss. Will you please let me do that? I really need to
or my heart will break."

I turned to face Carolyn. I held out my arms to her and she
rushed into them and wrapped her own around me as I embraced her. She held
me tight to her and I could actually feel the love radiating out of her body
and into mine. It was a very emotional moment for me to feel that kind
of warmth and bonding, and I began to cry again as I lowered my head to rest
on her shoulder and felt her move a hand from my back, to the
back of my head and pull me closer into this bond. I finally got
control of my emotions and raised my head from her shoulder and looked down at
her face. A smile formed on her lips and she reached up with both her
hands and took my head in them and lowered it until I felt her lips come
into contact with my forehead. She raised my head back up until once again
our eyes met and she said thank you. We moved apart from each
other.

"Wait a minute!"
I heard Mike say into the silence. I turned around and looked in
his direction. "You get over here and give me a hug too, or I'll go right now and
hang myself from that iron rooster on the roof of the barn and Tommy will have to
find a new place! Get over here right now Brent!" He held his
arms wide apart and I saw that his face was also wet. I gave
him a smile and walked over and he grabbed me and wrapped his
arms around me and I wrapped mine around this man. After we hugged he pushed
me back and held me by the shoulders. "Boy, things are going to be
changing and they are going to be changing fast. You listen to me Brent.
I know Billy. I know Billy very well. There had always been one
obstacle in his way for his entire life and that one obstacle is now
gone. You give him just a little more time and I promise you, you will
know more about love than you ever imagined. But, if after a little more
time and you don't start to see these changes I'm promising you, then you just
come right back over here, and if Tommy can't show you what love is, I sure
the hell can!"

"Mike!" Carolyn gasp out. "Do you
know what that sounded like?!" I turned and looked at her and she had a
very shocked look on her face and it was glowing like the red from a
bonfire. I looked back at Mike and his face had also turned a bright
cherry red.

"Well, um, I didn't mean it like
THAT! Hell fire woman, he knows what I meant. I didn't mean to
suggest...well...I didn't say I would show him THAT kind of love! Hell
Fire!" All of a sudden I heard Tommy start laughing his head off and
then I started to laugh at the look of horror and embarrassment in Mikes
face. Soon we were all laughing, releasing the tension of the last half
hour or so we had spent in this room. "Ok, ok! Enough of this. I
only have one more thing to say and this is very important. Quiet down
everyone!" Mike interrupted the laughing session. We all got
ourselves under control.

Mike then told me
to go and stand next to Tommy and I walked over to him and took Tommy's hand
in mine and turned to face his dad. "Ok boys. I can still remember when
I was your age and I know eventually your relationship will
include sex." My face turned hot and I saw that Tommy's was in full flame
also. "Don't either of you try to deny it either. But here's what
you both will have to promise us. There are six children who live in
this house who are not in love with Brent, well, ok maybe five, but Jamesson
don't count in this. You two will keep that in mind at all times and at
no time are you to put yourselves in a position to where any one or all of
them will be exposed to you acting on your sexual needs. Kissing is fine,
as long as you aren't trying to bore a hole through the insides of each others
mouths. I don't want to hear about your sex lives, see it or smell
it." He raised his eyes knowingly at us as he said this
last part. Tommy and I looked at each other and frowned.
Smell? Ok, well he thinks we know something that we obviously don't. He
didn't miss the look Tommy and I shared, so he thought he'd try and make it a
little clearer and said, "If I want to smell the fresh clean smell of an
ocean breeze , I'll go visit the ocean."
I still didn't get it and turned and looked at Tommy. He was blushing again,
and when he recognized that I still didn't understand his father, he leaned
over and cupped my ear in his hands and whispered, "The smell of cum. You know,
it smells kind of like salt water." I jerked my head away from Tommy
real quick and looked over towards Carolyn, who had a smile on her face, and
you could have fried eggs and a whole slab of bacon on mine. "Aha!
I see the light of understanding on both your faces!" Mike chuckled.
"Above all be safe and don't do anything stupid. This is a farm and
there are many hidden places where you can express your love in that way
without exposing us all to it. If you have problems find them, just ask
me and I'll show the places Carolyn and I used to use when we were
dating."

"Mike!" Carolyn yelled out.

"What?" He said to
her, with a feigned look of innocence. "I didn't plan on showing them the ones we
STILL use! What are you blushing for?" Mike said with a huge grin
on his face. Tommy and I both looked at his mom and from the color
of her face, she looked like she was about ready to spontaneously
combust. "Well, that's all I have to say for now. Honey, is there
anything you would like to ask or say to the boys before we let them
leave?" He asked his wife.

"I think you've said
quite enough for one night. The only thing I want to repeat is for you boys
to be safe and discreet. You both know what this could mean for you if
the wrong people found out at your school and I'd hate for you to have to deal
with the stress that would cause. Now, both of you run along, and Brent,
welcome to our family. You are welcomed, and more than welcome for as
long as you'd like."

"Thank you both." I said. "It's not nearly enough
to say, but it's the best I can come up with at the moment." Carolyn
nodded her head and smiled, then turned and went over to the
corner of the room, where I now saw a play pen for the first time. She
reached in and picked up Angie, then carried the sleeping little girl out with
her, as she left the dining room. Mike came and gave Tommy and me one
last hug and he followed Carolyn out of the room. I looked at my watch
and it was already 7:50pm. I looked up at Tommy and he had that cute
look on his face. "You know you really are hot looking Tommy.
Dude, just looking at your face and now that I have that visual reference of
your hot naked body in my mind from earlier in your room, I don't know how I'm
going to be able to stand not getting my hands on you and soon. You
know...I've never done anything with anyone. I don't know what I'm
doing, but I know what I want to do and try. So you'll have to tell me
if I do anything wrong."

"Me? I'm as new
at this as you are. You've had more experience than me! When
you kissed me in the restroom this morning, that was the first time I ever
kissed someone other than my family! Plus, you said you groped that guy in
California, Russell? I've never felt another cock other than my own!" Tommy
said and smiled at me.

"Then you and I have a lot of hands on studying
to do together, and the sooner we get to it, the happier I'll be."
I leered at him and smiled. Tommy giggled and came over to
me.

"Lets practice a little more of the
kissing chapter right now. I don't think I picked up the hang of it yet,
and I need more work on the use of my tongue." He reached for me and
before his lips could touch mine.

"Wait!" I put my hand on his chest to
hold him back. He gave me a querying look. "I think I remember
someone eating brussel sprouts during dinner. I know it wasn't ME, and
I'm positive it was YOU! Now that I remember that, and had obviously
forgotten it while we were in the kitchen. How about I follow you up to
your room, and I will wait patiently as you go brush any remaining speck of
those offending orbs from your mouth. You taste too good to me, to have
it spoiled by introduction of that flavor on my tongue as you try to swallow
me whole!" Tommy growled and smiled at me.

"You TEASE! Come on!" He said
and grabbed my hand as dragged me out of the dining room, through the kitchen,
past the family room and up the stairs to his room.

When we entered Tommy's room, laughing,
Brandon was once again lying on his bed reading a comic. He looked up as
we came bursting in the door. A scowl crossed his face and then a huge
resigned sigh escaped his compressed lips. Tommy stopped and looked at
him with a scowl of his own replacing the laughing smile that had just
been there. I decided now was as good a time as any to have a chat with
Brandon, alone. I leaned over and whispered in Tommy's ear, "Go brush
and I want to have a private chat with Brandon." He looked at me with
confusion on his face, but then nodded his head and left the room,
closing the door behind. Brandon had kept his eyes on me the whole time
and watched as I took a seat in the chair by the computer desk.

"Brandon, can you and I have a talk for a
few minutes?" He sat up in his bed and placed the comic by his
side.

"What do you want to talk about?" He
still had a belligerent tone about his voice.

"You act like you don't even like me,
more like you hate me and we don't even know each other."

"You're right, I don't know you."
He paused and thought for a few seconds. "But, I don't hate you.
How can I hate someone I don't even know?"

"Ok, but the whole time I've been here
today, any time you see me or talk to me, that's the way it comes
across. I know that this is your room, but it is also Tommy's. I'm
not coming in here to invade your space, I come in here because this is where
Tommy comes. It's his personal space too. I know it must be hard
sharing a room with someone when you'd like to have one of your own." Well at
least he's sitting there listening to me and the scowl has disappeared.
"Look. We're all three of us the same age. I know how you must
feel."

"Wait. What do you mean we're all
the same age?" He asked.

"Well, for one more week, I'm 13 just
like you." His eyebrows shot up in his head when I said this.

"You're what?! I thought you were
15 or 16!" Surprise, surprise, I thought at this statement.

"Nope. Besides, I'm a freshman in
high school. I'd be awfully dumb if I were 15 or 16 and just now a
freshman, don't you think?" Brandon got up and moved to the end of his bed and
then sat back down. He was intently looking at me, as if he were looking
me over to ascertain the truthfulness of what I had told him.

"I...I can't believe we're the same
age. You're really built aren't you? I wish I was as built as
you." He looked down at himself then back up at me. "I look like a
skinny runt!" I gave him a small smile. I didn't want to laugh,
that would put him off for good.

"I don't think you look like a skinny
runt. The only reason I'm 'built' is because I've surfed, swam and
played volleyball almost every summer since I was 10 years old. I also
played basketball and swam in school. I used to workout in the gym a
couple times a week to keep in shape also. If you really want to know
what 'built' is, you should see this guy that Tommy and I go to school with
named Frank. I look like a runt compared to him." Brandon was
smiling now and I could feel the tension between us begin to thaw. "But
look Brandon, the reason I wanted to talk is because I don't want us to be
enemies. I'd really like to be friends. We're going to be seeing a
lot of each other because Tommy and I are...we're..."

"Boyfriends. You can say it.
It's weird and all, but it's not a bad thing." Again he got a thoughtful
look on his face as he looked at me. He lowered his head and after what
seemed forever, he looked back up at me. "I'd like to be friends
too. I'm sorry the way I've been acting today. It's just that I
always have to watch over what I have because with so many brothers, they
always want to get into my things. It's probably crazy, but what is
mine, I want to stay mine. I'm not very good at sharing." He stood
up from the bed and walked the short distance to me. I stood up and
stuck out my hand to shake on it, and instead he wrapped his arms around me in
a hug and that was the moment the door opened and Tommy walked in.

"What's all this?!" Tommy demanded in a
harsh voice. I had tried to disengage from the hug after Tommy's demand,
but Brandon held tight.

"What does it look like! Brent
wants ME now, not you!" Brandon said to Tommy in a voice to match
his. Tommy walked over and jerked Brandon away from me, then drew back
his arm and punched Brandon in the face. Before I could react to what
was happening, the brawl was on. Brandon punched Tommy in the chest then
they grabbed each other in arm locks around their chests and wound up on the
floor with Tommy on top of Brandon. They were yelling and screaming at
each other as they rolled around in the limited space between the two beds and
desk. I finally came to my senses and reached into the midst of them to
break it up. I grabbed Tommy and physically pulled him to his feet,
causing him to lose his grip on Brandon.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I
yelled at the top of my lungs, startling him and he jerked around to look at
my face. "Brandon lied! We were hugging because we had just agreed
to be more friendly and he would stop acting like a jerk! But then this
shit happens!" By now, Brandon had gotten himself up off the
floor. I looked over at him and he could tell from my expression that I
was pissed at him too. I saw him look behind me, then a bit of color
drained from his face and I turned to look where he had. We had an
audience surrounding the door and standing just inside the room, were Mike and
Carolyn, and they were not happy. I let go of Tommy and he turned to
look at the door as well.

"Brent. Hank is downstairs right
now with Scott. I think now would be a good time for you to say your
good byes and let Hank drive you home. You're welcome to come back any
time, but right now Tommy, Brandon and I are going to have a discussion.
It was a pleasure having you over today and tell your father I said hello when
you get home. Goodnight son." He walked over and Tommy moved out
of his way. He gave me a hug and then Carolyn stepped over and hugged me
as well. When she released me, I turned to Mike.

"But...but Mike, it was kind of my fault
too. Don't you want to here my part of it?"

Mike reached out and put his hand on my
shoulder. "I can do some guessing and I'll get the full story out of
these two. This kind of thing has been brewing with them for a long time
and tonight it ends. Now tell Tommy goodnight, then come downstairs and
bring your things with you. Hank will be waiting for you." He
looked over at Brandon, "You come with me." he said. Brandon ducked his
head an followed his father. Carolyn collected everyone else lurking in
the room and hall outside, then closed the door to the room, leaving just
Tommy and I there. I turned and collected my history book off of the
desk and put it in my book bag that was lying open on Tommy's bed. Tommy
was just standing there watching me as I packed up my things and secured the
book bag. When I was done, I picked the bag up and put it over my
shoulder and turned to face him. When he looked at me, his eyes teared
up.

"I'm mad Tommy, but I'm mad at everything
that happened. I'm more upset that I have to go home and leave
you. I don't want to be apart from you...ever. Brandon said what
he did, just to piss you off, and you fell for it and now see what
happened? I'm being sent home and your in trouble with your
parents." A couple of tears rolled down from Tommy's eyes. "Come
here, I need a hug and kiss before I leave." Tommy flew into my
outstretched arms and we hugged tight. "I'm going to miss you
tonight. God Tommy, I need you with me so much!" I
said.

"I'm sorry Brent. I wish I could
rewind and walk through the door again." He took his head off of my
shoulder and looked at me. We brought our lips together and when I felt
his tongue at the entry to my mouth, I opened my lips and took it in.
There was a minty taste, but there was also the distinct taste of him mixed
in. He withdrew his tongue and mine followed his back into his
mouth. I could taste more of him now and I wanted to just stay there all
night, savoring him. Mike yelled from downstairs and Tommy and I broke
the kiss.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Wait for me
outside like we had planned this morning. I better go before you're dad
comes up here. He's already mad enough, we don't want to make him
madder." I gave Tommy another quick kiss and we separated.

"I'll be out front of the school waiting
for you. I'm going to miss you tonight too. I'm so sorry
Brent! Brandon knows how to push all my buttons and I always fall for
it." he said. I nodded and ran my hand along his cheek. Tommy went
and opened the door and him and I walked downstairs. Waiting by the
front door were Hank, Scott and Mike. Jamesson was also waiting and when
he saw me, ran over and threw his arms around my waist. I rubbed the top
of his head and smiled down at him.

"Well goodnight little man. You
sleep well and it was nice meeting you today. I'll see you soon,
ok?" He smiled up at me.

"Night Brent. You promise you're
coming back right?" He asked.

"I promise." I said. He let go of
me and went running off towards the family room. I turned to Mike and
told him goodnight and then turned to Tommy and told him I'd see him in the
morning. Hank said his goodnights along with Scott and we left the house
and walked out into the night to the SUV. When I looked back at the
door, Tommy was standing there with a forlorn look on his face and I waved
back to him. He waved in return and when I opened the side door and
got into the SUV and closed the door, I looked back to Tommy and with a final
wave he stepped back and closed his front door. Hank and Scott
climbed in and Hank started the SUV and drove away from the house and
onto the road heading back towards Beulah.

"Well, I see I arrived just in time
before the trip to the emergency room." Hank said and chuckled from the
drivers seat.

"That's not funny anymore Hank. I
really don't want to talk about it. I appreciate you taking me
home. I know it's after your work day, so I want you to know I
really do appreciate it." Hank looked back at me in the rear view
mirror.

"Sorry Brent. I don't mean to make
fun of you and you don't need to thank me for taking you home. You're my
charge and if it weren't my job, I'd do it anyway, just because it's
you. We should be to the farm in about 30 minutes." Scott
started telling his dad about his first day of school and they both became
involved in their own discussion, as we continued the trip to the
farm. I just sat in the back and thought about everything that had
happened today and the whirlwind way I'd ended up with a boyfriend.
Tommy fit perfectly for me. Maybe he wasn't the kind of guy
that really stuck out in a crowd and made you take notice, but once you
did notice him, he was hard to forget. I don't plan on forgetting one
single thing about him. As we drove farther away from Tommy's house, I
felt like an elastic cord were being stretched thinner and thinner between he
and I. By the time we arrived at the farm and I told Scott and Hank
goodnight. The cord felt stretched so taunt, that if I had lifted both
feet off the ground it would snatch me back and away to him. Hank said
he'd see me in the morning at 8am, then he and Scott drove away. I
opened the front door to my house and walked in.

Connie came from the hall leading into
the kitchen and met me at the front door. She gave me a hug and a kiss
on the cheek. I told her I had a lot to tell her, but that I had
homework I needed to finish before I went to bed and she said she'd be up
before I went to sleep and we'd talk. My dad then came out of the
hall leading from the living room to the front door. He smiled at me and
walked over.

"Hello Brent. You left so fast this
morning, I didn't even get to tell you good bye and to have a good day at
school. I also didn't get to give you a hug. Do you mind if I get
that hug now?" He smiled as he opened his arms to me. I was a bit
surprised at this turn of events, but I opened my arms to him and we shared a
hug. I felt his lips press the top of my head and I wondered when I
got older, if I would be as tall as him, at 6'2". We released the hug
and then he said, "I love you, son." His eyes had a gleam in them and
hearing him say those words to me filled me with warmth. "Well, I heard
you tell Connie you had homework, so I better let you get to it. I just
wanted to see you before you went to your rooms. Goodnight son, and I'll
see you in the morning. Sleep well."

"I love you too dad, and...thanks for
coming to say goodnight." He smiled at me and turned and walked back
down the hall towards the living room. Connie winked at me and told me
to scoot. I smiled back at her and took the two flight of stairs up to
my rooms. I dropped my book bag in my study, before I sat down at my
desk. The bond between Tommy and I was stretched very thin at this
point, but I could definitely feel it still there. It was real and it
wasn't going to snap with distance. I sat there and thought about us a
little more, before I opened my book bag, took our my history book, and began
to read for my homework assignment. It had been a very event filled
day.

___________________________________________________________

Thanks to all the people who have written with
encouragement and positive feedback for this story. I hope you enjoyed
this segment of Learning to Love.
If you would like to send me an email, you can send it to jmedinacorona@gmail.com. Stay tuned for more to
come!