Yesterday. It just isn't real to me yet.

What happened yesterday. I keep thinking about it in terms
of "that movie I saw yesterday," "the show on TV," "the
terrible horror film."......sadly, even though I *know*
that it was real, I keep slipping back into denial.
I read the testimonials, the bios of casualties, the
personal witnesses, the search for survivors.... and I
put up a wall of surreal reality.
What the hell was that? I can't wrap my mind around the
scope of the tragedy. I'm not sure I want to. But I have
to.
I'm not a person who gets mad. My wife said recently that
she has never even seen me mad in nearly 8 years. I don't
get mad.
I'm mad. I'm so mad, I don't recognize myself.
I will survive. America will survive. But, I am different
today and so is America.
Sorry, to ramble.
--Joe

Dr. Joseph HowardJoe's Physics Page"Imagine what you could do,
if you could do what you imagine."

S'okay to be angry; I went through the same littany of emotions as I stared out across the Hudson mere moments after the crumbling of the south tower. I gripped the fence guarding the cliffside very tightly, and wondered, staring at the remaining tower, what next? And I wondered who would do this, would they be caught and face justice, would others enact vengeance before justice was committed...
As I thought of the people dying there I couldn't help but think selfishly of what was to become of my job, my career here, which depends heavily on the financial industry's well-being. I am from the same area as you, Joseph -- I grew up in OC, graduated from Stephen Decatur in Berlin, and went to SSU; I've been in the NY/NJ metro area for almost 4 years now, and only JUST started feeling this was my home, when this happened...now I'm wondering all over again if this is the right place for me.
We're all going through these emotional turmoils, some far more severe than others, but we all know the feelings. I recognize them as natural, but I also try to ensure that sanity and logic rule.
I hope that helps.

I think the hardest thing for me to accept is that the Twin Towers are gone. I could deal with the planes crashing in them and leaving huge holes. But, the thought that they collapsed and are gone is just unreal.

Bring back John Doe! Or at least resolve the cliff-hanger with a 2hr movie or as an extra on a dvd release.