Friday, 8 June 2012

Man pushes old lady off a bus

Watch this.

That's so horrible right!!! Pushing an old lady down the bus, what if she breaks her leg or something?? I feel like asking him, "ALEX ONG, U NO GRANDPARENTS IS IT?????????????!!!!!!" If that lady is my grandmother, I'm surely sueing him to hell.

And he used so much strength to push her down =.= Look at what he's going to say below.. Liar. Super disagree to many things that he said. If you're lazy to read, read the red words. Highlighted yellow words are my comments.

exakr-lifestory.tumblr.comSo, where do I start?Do I start from the very beginning, or do I start from the reason why I’m writing this in the first place?Perhaps I should start with the reason why I started this blog, since I suspect most of you will be directed here after reading press reports of the incident that triggered this.Let me fill you in on my side of the story.I have been trying to find a proper, stable job for over half-a-year now. My previous job was as a temporary admin at Informatics, a job that sucked hard, with disgustingly long hours, disgusting environment, disgusting pay, and a disgusting commute. I hated it, and I swore to myself not to take such jobs ever again. Unfortunately, my choice is limited - I will explain why at a later time - and this has been frustrating me, along with other matters I will explain later.Fast-forward to 5th of June, this year.I was going to Dhoby Ghaut by bus from my home in Sembawang to get something fixed. At Thomson, this old lady pressed the stop bell at the last minute, to which I told her not to the next time.She just simply and suddenly shouted back at me for that.I ask: who doesn’t get angry over something like this, trying to advise someone on the proper way of doing things, only to be shouted back at for no rhyme or reason?Obviously I was not happy with this, and because of this an argument broke out between the two of us. In a fit of anger, I threatened her to either get off the bus or that I will slap her, to which she said, “No! I won’t get off this bus! So what?!”. (your violent tendencies already surfaced here)All I wanted was her out of the way so I can continue my journey.So I give her a light push to get her off the bus. (just now violent, now so gentle want to give her a soft push?)I never ever wanted to injure or hurt her in any way, nor did I ever have any intention to make her fall, or to really harm her in any way.But fall she did, and hurt herself lightly she did, and for that, I was really both shocked and sorry about it. At that point of time though, I was just angry, I was just pissed, and I just want to continue my journey without this old lady holding up things.I did not wish to go into details on between what happened next and when the police arrived, but what I can say is that I did intend to leave the scene just so I can continue my journey, but something - a sense of responsibility, a sense of having to give a proper explanation - took me back there. I knew I had to be responsible for everything that happened. (You will not be credited for this at all. Stop hoping.)In the back of my mind, I knew things might get blown out of proportion, so I called my dad to inform him of what happened, just in case. As his job was relatively mobile, he decided to drive down to the scene to have a look at the situation. (How old are you? 25 years old and need your dad to clear your shit for you?? Somemore interrupting him when he was working)Eventually the police and ambulance services arrived, and both me and the old lady were interrogated while the commuters were ushered onto another bus.I informed the police that I have been having some emotional instability this past few weeks, owing to how I wasn’t able to secure a good job and certain items in the news, and that I myself am struggling with psychological issues (obsessive-compulsive disorder, clinical depression, autism-spectrum disorder), and that I never intended to injure the lady, that everything happened as a culmination of a lot of anger that has been simmering inside me. (How would we know if those disorders are excuses or not? If those are true, then he is some dangerous guy that should be locked at home or something. And he pushed her because of his disorders or anger then? If its anger, no reason to vent it on her, intentional or not! Seems like just a big chunk of excuses added together to save his ass)This was conveyed to the old lady, who understood my situation and was willing to drop the matter as long as I offered an apology, which I gave and she accepted.The next day (yesterday), I was called down to the police station to give a statement regarding the incident. I was told by the officer that, if not for my remorse and the fact that I have some psychological issues, I could definitely have been charged. I said in my statement that again, I felt remorse over the incident, that I have offered my apologies to the old lady who accepted it, and that I’m actually worried over her condition. The officer said that he will do his best to get just a stern warning over the matter from his supervisor, given the mitigating factors, to which I’m grateful for for him to do that.Now, you might ask, where did all this anger come from?I was reflecting upon the whole incident afterward, when I realised that, ultimately, my anger all stemmed from incidents that happened earlier in my life, anger that otherwise had nowhere to go. (Stop blaming other things ya? Everyone had unhappiness in some point of their life before too.)But first, the immediate sources: why so much anger in me?Firstly, the aforementioned inability to find a good job. My later posts will give you more insight about this but let me just go through this quickly.Yes, I admit: I’m picky about jobs, but who doesn’t want a comfortable job doing what he/she likes? Unfortunately, my qualifications has excluded me from all but dead-end temporary jobs, and as I mentioned earlier, my last job was disgusting and emotionally drained me out. Add to the fact that your parents have been pushing you to get a job for ages, and the shame of being a 25-year-old having to financially depend on your dad.(Talk about shame? Well its totally your fault that you're picky from all that I can see. All jobs are emotionally draining in one way or another. You think everyone enjoy their jobs? I think not. )Singapore is such a society in that everything requires both money and qualifications to chase dreams; I have a lot of dreams, but how to chase such dreams when you lack both?Again, all will be revealed later on.Secondly, that recent accident involving the PRC-driven Ferrari at Bugis.That really got a lot of nerves fraying in Singapore, but it stuck an extreme chord in me, as I see it as an incident where rich foreign trash ruins the dreams of a local working-class family, killing off their sole breadwinner. When I read how the taxi driver’s daughter may have to delay her studies because of this incident, it stuck an especially hard chord in myself, for I know how it is like to have your studies, your dreams, to be taken away by bastards.I know that feeling, as I was there myself.In fact, at one point I got so angry that I really took a knife and told my father, “let’s go kill some Chinamen”. Of course, my dad had to literally physically stop me from doing so, but my anger remained.(Violent tendencies showing again =.=)And quite unfortunately, my anger, which had nowhere to go, had to be released on an innocent old lady.Again, I deeply apologise to the old lady, and I wish her no lasting harm.

Personally, I think I'd be annoyed if someone presses the bell at the last minute, especially if I'm rushing for time. However, I'm sure nobody will do that on purpose, press last minute and suffers the awkward moment when the whole bus stares at you stand up to get down. I don't see the need for him to advice the old lady to not do that in the first place?

Basically, all that I can say about him is that he has some anger managment problem, very serious violent tendencies, not independant enough for a 25 year old guy and full of excuses. Period.

Anyway, his tone for the whole post is like an official explanation letter carefully drafted out, blah. Explain already then lock up his blog for what?

So this afternoon I was travelling by bus to Dhoby Ghaut. At around Thomson Road, this old lady hit the bell at the last minute, so I told her not to hit the bell at the last minute the next time. Immediately she shouted at me, "I did not do it intentionally!".

Of course, from my point of view I was only trying to advise her not to do this kind of thing, so I was quite agitated when she just shouted back at me like this. We got into an argument, and I told her to "get off this bus". She simply shot back, "no, I won't."

With emotions running high, I let loose a "I will slap you!" to her, to which she said "come!". I reached breaking point and gave her a light push, which resulted in her falling off the steps.

Now, I know I should never have done this, but if you were in my shoes, you of course could have exploded as well.

This resulted in her getting the driver of the bus to call for the police and ambulance, who arrived and took statements from both of us. Everyone on the bus had to be ushered onto another bus. I called my father just in case the old lady escalated the case, causing me to be detained by the police. He came by and explained my personal situation to the officers.

What's my personal situation, you ask?

I have been holding back all of these for a very long time, with only a few close to me who knew. I guess now is the time to bare it all.

I have OCD, I had clinical depression resulting from the abuse I went through in NS and secondary school, and when I was younger I was diagnosed with ASD.

Try struggling with all of these on top of having to deal with a lifetime of abuse and bullying, from primary school to NS.

On top of that, my emotions have been unstable recently because of the rage I had over that taxi accident. You know which one.

Obviously the state of my mind has been less than hardened; a simple tip could send it all crashing. And I guess this is what happened today.

I never intended to injure the old lady. I have a deep respect for elders. The only reason why I did any of this was because deep-down inside, I felt offended, I felt the need to defend myself.

I do not represent a society of decaying morals. I'm a product of a society that has abused me, neglected me, and ultimately, misunderstood me. I do not represent the decay of morals, I am the product of the decay of morals society has on individuals like myself.

I do not have an easy life. Money is hard to come by. My parents are separated. I only have three credits in 'O' levels. Jobs I like are near-impossible to come by.

When your life dreams are taken away right in front of you, by people who are supposed to help you, with the help of people who are determined to make your life miserable, the amount of rage that builds up inside you can only be immense.

You feel vengeful against society. You can only resign yourself to the sad fact that this is your karma. You must have offended too many people in previous lives.

No one really truly understands the pain I went through.

Now that I have bared it all, will you find a way to help me, or will you make my life even more miserable for your sadistic pleasure? (STOP TRYING TO LOOK PITIFULL FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!!!!!)

Your call.

P.s. the bus was TIB 446E.

Read till I'm really sick of his excuses. I don't know if his illness is real or not, but there are people much worse off than him, physically or mentally. This post doesn't make me pity him more at all.

Do you?

Even if he's pitiful or really angry or stressed, still no reason for him to push the old lady. The old lady really has a big heart to forgive him. He should at least compensate her or something.....