An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual tofill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found fourpeople who were equally qualified –an American, a Russian, an Australianand a Filipino..

He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answerwould determine who of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table theinterviewer asked, ‘What is the fastest thing you know?’

Dave, the American, replied, ‘A THOUGHT’ It just pops into your head.There’s no warning that it’s on the way; it’s just there. A thought is thefastest thing I know of.’

‘That’s very good!’replied the interviewer.

‘And now you sir?’ he asked Vladimir , the Russian.

‘Hmm…. let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that itever happened.A BLINK is the fastest thing I know.’

‘Excellent!’ said the interviewer. ‘The blink of an eye, that’s a verypopular cliche for speed.’

He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply.‘Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wallthere’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across thepasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep,TURNING ON A LIGHT is thefastest thing I can think of.’

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he hadfound his man. ‘It’s hard to beat the speed of light’ he said.

Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, ‘Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et’s obyus to me dat the pastest thing is Diarrhea.’ ‘What?! ’said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats…

‘Oh, I can expleyn sir,.’ said Eleuterio. ‘ You see, sir, da ader day mytummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the CR, but before I couldTHINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, by golly! I had alreydi shit in my pants!’