Anxious Personality: 7 Reasons to Date an Anxious Person

Dating someone with anxiety doesn’t always have a positive connotation, but these reasons will be sure to send you looking for an Anxious Amy to hold.

Anxiety: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

Coming from someone who is diagnosed with anxiety, that definition gives very little insight into exactly what goes on in our heads. Worry? Absolutely. Nervousness and unease? You got it! But it’s not just about a certain event or being unsure of what will happen; it’s more of a feeling of panic that is always itching at the underside of our skin, ready to rip free at any given moment and for any given reason.

So why am I say you should date someone like this?

All of this may sound hard to handle, but it’s really not. People with anxiety have qualities that some people can only dream of! It doesn’t mean we need constant reassurance. It doesn’t mean that we’re needy. It simply means that we’re different than your average person—better, if you ask me. Psh! No, I’m not biased *okay, maybe a little*.

My own dating life has consisted of a lot of ups and downs when it came to my anxiousness. But what I’ve really learned throughout all of it, is that the qualities that guys like most in me formed because of my anxiety.

Why you should date a Nervous Nelly

You may have read things about what you should know before dating someone with anxiety, or how it may be different, but I’m here to tell you why you should date an anxious person. Anxiety paves the way to incredible qualities in a person—qualities that you may not get otherwise.

#1 We’re ridiculously creative. And by creative, I don’t mean we can all draw a perfect Mona Lisa replica. I mean, if you want to know just about every scenario—good or bad—that could happen in any situation, we’re the ones who can tell you! We have extremely wild imaginations that can help you out with just about anything you may need.

This is especially useful when you need some advice about a situation, if you’re wondering what you should say at a job interview, or even if you’re stuck in a rut at your job and need some help coming up with new ideas.

#2 We are always *over* prepared for everything. You’ll never have to worry about forgetting to pack something for a trip, or whether or not you have everything you need for an outing. Since many scenarios and possible outcomes are continuously pouring through our minds, we’ll make sure that, no matter what might happen, we’ll have what we need to get through it.

A trip to the beach may include an oversized bag filled with *seemingly* nonessential items, but when a shark attacks someone, we’ll be the first ones there, with a full ambulance-sized first-aid kit on hand!

#3 You’ll never have to guess if we’re upset or not. We’re not the type that will play games and pretend not to be mad at you, even though we are—mostly because we don’t have a choice. If we’re feeling any form of upset, our body language will give us away almost immediately.

Why is this a good thing for you? Because you’ll be able to open us up about the issue and get it solved. It makes communication much, much better between a couple if the problem is identified right away. Especially since a lot of people tend to hold their problems inside and never address them… causing failed relationships. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]

#4 We wear our emotions on our sleeve. Figuratively, of course. No one is walking around with Post-it notes describing how they’re feeling on their t-shirt—that would just be weird. But people with anxiety tend to have less control over showing their emotions. Meaning, you’ll always know how we feel about stuff—even if we don’t want you to.

I’m not sure why this is. Maybe it’s because we fear *or, rather, worry* that if you don’t know how we feel, you may not think we care as much and you’ll move on. You’ll never have to wonder what our feelings are for you, because—if we haven’t already blurted it out—you’ll be able to tell from just one look at us.

#5 We find it easy to stay motivated. Because anxiety quite often leads to thinking about negative consequences, we can stay motivated to do something, just because we want to avoid that outcome.

If I don’t go to the gym, I’ll gain weight and then my significant other won’t like me *only if they’re a super shallow ass-hat, though* then they’ll leave and I’ll be alone, and then I’ll gain more weight from eating buckets of ice cream to cope with my loneliness, and then I’ll stay alone forever, because no one will like me, and I’ll be forced to end up as one of those crazy cat ladies. AHHH!

The mind of someone with anxiety doesn’t see just in the immediate future; we can see so far into the future, that it helps us to stay motivated to accomplish the goals we have right now.

#6 We are always focused on what is important to us. When you have anxiety, it’s awfully hard to fret about things like gossip and the latest fashion trends. Since we visualize our futures so much, we really only pay attention to the most important things in our lives and the things that will affect our future the most.

This means that we’ll stay focused on you and not get caught up in drama or unnecessary worry about how our outfit looks. It also means that if it’s important to you, it will be important to us—because you mean so much to us.

#7 We will never hurt you. Not intentionally, at least. This is the last thing on my list, but probably the most important. People with anxiety think about their actions differently than other people. We are far more aware of what we do, and how it will affect the bigger picture. Our empathy is one of our strongest assets.

This means that when we decide what to do, we’re always thinking, “What if they did this to me? How would I feel?” Since our imaginations are so vivid, we can actually feel the pain that we could cause you—and we would never want to cause heartache in someone we care about.

This also means that if something terribly sad happens in a movie, we will most likely cry. Okay, we will cry. Every time.

Anxiety may seem like a downer in someone that you want to date, but it can actually be an incredible asset. Anxious people have qualities that aren’t found in your everyday person. Trust me: you won’t want to miss out on the amazing empathy and strength having anxiety brings!

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DISCUSSION

I’m a pretty socially awkward guy. I have friends, who I get along with most of the time. However, I tend to get really paranoid with friends im close with. I become convinced that they hate me, for one reason or another, and once it starts, this feeling never leaves. I feel like im sabotaging healthy relationships because of it, but I cant convince myself that im wrong. Its even harder with more casual friends. Every encounter is full of anxiety, every step of the way. Even now, im feeling anxious. Tomorrow, im moving back to the dorm where I live. I love it there, and the people are great, but all I feel is dread. How can I learn to not give a fu*k? I put way too much importance in other peoples perception of me. I know it, but I cant seem to change it, even when I try to go in with a positive mindset.

Definitely a nervous nelly over here! I couldn’t agree more with the points in this article. So true. Take me, for example. I always want everything to be in order and everyone to be happy. I sometimes worry about other people too much, but what can I do? It’s who I am. Once my friend lost her dog and I cried for her the whole day. Then I spent days searching in the streets with her. Luckily we found it and I couldn’t be more happy. Remember this, guys. We don’t deserve to be hurt so take care for that. And we’ll never leave you in the hardest of times. I am just so proud of being me and everyone should embrace that. There is a soulmate for everyone in this world.

I think people have a tendency to become overly excited and enthusiastic in a new relationship. It’s exciting, in a way, to be able to support someone with anxiety and/or depression, to feel as though your presence is helpful or even necessary. It feels good to feel needed. But if couples don’t know how to talk about these issues after that initial honeymoon-period excitement, if they don’t know how to establish boundaries and coping strategies within the framework of the relationship, it’s so easy for bitterness to develop. It can be easy for the non-anxious person to become impatient when the anxious person surprisingly STAYS anxious. (I speak from personal experience in my last relationship.) I love this article; it’s only been very recently that I’ve been learning the language to talk about my own anxiety and the best strategies to deal with it. As someone recently romantically involved with someone new, I’m excited to actively use these tips to communicate from the beginning what my anxiety looks like and how it can be helped. It’s something that is so necessary to discuss, not cover up in shame like I tried to do for way too long. So, thank you!