Organising a creative, adventurous and contented life

29/11/2013

I recently took this photo of massed birdcages in a Sydney lane. The outdoor art reminded me of the concept of inside out thinking that I’ve been exploring lately.

Our minds generate our reality: always from the inside out, never from the outside in.

The principle itself is not new—that we create our experience from our thinking—but we usually only partly accept the idea.

We often say that our job, relationship, or an event is the cause of our feelings. For example, a demanding day at work made us feel exhausted and under-appreciated. But in a higher mood (with different thoughts), the same demanding day could make us feel engaged, productive and an important member of the team. One day our partner is the love of our lives; the next their habits drive us crazy. Pick up a book to read one evening and become absorbed in the plot; read the same text in a different mood and have trouble focusing. Same job, relationship, and book—the difference is the thoughts running through our minds.

If our circumstances dictated how we felt—we’d always feel the same way about something. A bad coffee would always result in the same feeling. But it doesn’t—sometimes it’s the end of the world and we’ll never buy a coffee from that shop again; other times we drink it and philosophically remember that they generally get it right. We can feel a different way about the same event and other people can feel the different way about the same event—it’s not the event itself. A crowded concert can be bliss for one person and claustrophobic for another. It’s the thoughts each person’s mind is generating that causes the resulting feelings.

Our brains and our thinking of course serve an important and helpful purpose, so long as they don’t ‘mindlessly’ run the show. When that happens, habitual thinking is the mildest result and pathological behaviour the most extreme.

Understanding (even beginning to understand) how the principle of inside out thinking works is liberating and exciting. We start to see everything in a fresh way. It tells us a lot about ourselves and about others. It also casts light on change—if our thinking doesn’t change, we can’t change and if someone else’s thinking doesn’t change, they can’t change.

The other good news is that there’s nothing we need to do other than continue to develop our understanding of how inside out thinking works. We don’t need to fix our thinking but simply understand that we think. We don’t need techniques or activities or more thinking to fix ourselves. When we get out of the way, our thinking is designed to settle on its own—a self-correcting mental immune system.

Even practicing minimalism as a solution to finding mental clarity is only an external bandaid solution. It’s not the stuff that affects how we feel; it’s our thinking that affects how we feel. We can have mental clarity (or not) regardless of how many possessions we own or get rid of. Minimalism and organising can make it easier to find mental clarity, but they are not the source of the clarity.

Here are a few ways to deepen your understanding of the principle of inside out thinking:

Use your feelings as a gauge for the quality of your thinking. Feeling bad is a sign of poor-quality thinking and of over-thinking. The solution is not to add more thoughts. Instead of trying to fix your thoughts, let them flow and let your mind settle on its own.

Don’t act from a low mood. Allow your thoughts to clear and then act from a clearer mind. When your mind clears, you will naturally feel better and be able to access the deeper intuition and wisdom we all have. Acting from this place gives us contentment and certainty and won’t feel rushed and urgent.

Don’t force yourself to change. Be aware of your thinking, especially habitual thinking, and how it translates to feelings and change will arise naturally.

Re-thinking is not as helpful as new thinking. Gradually encourage yourself away from old patterns of thinking that were helpful in the past but are not so relevant now.

Back to the birdcages for a moment. Looking at them reminded me that it’s easy to trap myself into believing that my circumstances (instead of my thoughts) create my feelings—a cage I’ve unintentionally placed myself in. Often, I don’t even see the cage. But as soon as I spot the cage, I’m outside it. I’m freed from trying to unnecessarily ‘fix’ my life and can live from inside to out again.

I’ve touched on many points here and am looking forward to exploring them in further posts. I’m also keen to read your comments and questions. My understanding of the principle of inside out thinking is only emerging so let’s go on this journey together.

20/11/2013

I love planning, detail, and lists; yet I also crave plenty of open time with nothing scheduled, where I am free to be creative and do my tasks in whatever order I feel like.

To respect these conflicting needs, I cater for them both. I do this by having morning and evening routines that I mostly follow, while on days I am at home I try to keep as much time clear during the day as I can manage.

I schedule appointments, but hardly anything else. I'm happy with this approach, but the danger is that my open time can be swallowed up with small tasks and side-tracks. If I let this happen, I feel frustrated, dissatisfied, and tired by the end of the day. But if I feel like I've spent my day in a meaningful way, I still end it tired but it's a nice, satisfied tired.

One technique I use is a simple checklist for my open time; a guide that steers me through the important types of things I would like to do during the day.

My checklist at the moment includes activities like:

Time with my family

Writing session

Exercise (usually a long walk with Bonnie the dog)

Play piano or guitar

Crossing a couple of jobs off my task list

I try to spend some time on each one although that doesn't always happen! And the list is ordered so the important things are at the top. If I spend time with my family but don’t cross anything off my task list, that’s OK and still a good use of time.

How do you spend your ‘open’ time? How do you make sure you regularly do what’s important to you?

28/10/2013

As humans, we have an innate desire to
grow, to acquire, and to consume. We look to the next book to read, the next
event to experience, the next moment in which we might find happiness.

The idea that we already are
enough and that we already have enough can be difficult to understand in
a way that makes a difference to how we live. We can improve our ability to be
content by practicing the opposite of getting and grasping.

Think about the following questions to see how you might drop extra layers
that obscure your present reality.

Am I complicating
this moment in any way? Am I swept away in unhelpful thinking such as comparing
myself to others, catastrophising, or overanalysing? Accept the moment but release the complications.

If I’m in pain, am
I also experiencing additional suffering perhaps caused by holding onto
feelings like worry or regret too tightly? Accept
the pain but release the suffering.

Am I trying to hold
onto good feelings? That’s a sure way of taking ourselves out of the moment or
over-emphasising the feelings and thus making them vanish. Accept and enjoy the good feelings but release the need to hold onto
them.

Do I feel busy,
maybe frantically so? Am I getting a lot of small things done but neglecting
what is important? Accept the full life
but release the frantic pace and the insignificant time-wasters.

Am I expecting this
moment to be anything other than what it is? Wanting things to be different
causes a painful gap between us and reality.
Accept the moment by releasing expectations, then consider whether change is still nessary or no longer needed.

In this moment, am
I living in line with my shortlist of priorities? Release the distraction and start on something
that reflects a priority.

No matter where we are or what we’re
doing, we can improve our experience by seeing if there are any embellishments clouding our thinking or our environment that we
can drop. It’s a bit like slipping off a jacket when it’s hot and instantly
feeling better. We can keep chipping away at the excess and refocusing on our
values and priorities—which helps us embrace the essence of life where we’ll make
our most meaningful memories.

23/10/2013

Recipe and image from Eat In by Anna Gare, published by Murdoch Books, rrp. $39.99 (this book was kindly provided for review).

I'm a big fan of 'one pot' or 'one pan' cooking. I don't mind so much how long a meal takes to cook—if I can prepare and cook it in one dish (and only have one dish to wash up) then I'm happy.

I've been browsing through Anna Gare's new book, Eat in: The best food is made at home, and found a delicious one pan breakfast dish, and this one is quick as well.

Anna has improved on the old-fashioned 'bullseye' or 'toad in a hole' recipe by replacing white bread with Turkish flat bread (pide). She also recommends adding other toppings such as crisy bacon (which you can cook in the same pan), or some crumbled feta or relish from the fridge.

Even though the recipe is fancier than cooking an egg and adding it to your toast, it's easier as the whole lot cooks at once. It's also handy for feeding a large family or brunch guests as each pide provides six generous servings.

19/09/2013

I wanted to share a wonderful message from my yoga teacher. She asked us to say the following statement to ourselves—because it was right at the end of our session it caught me delightfully by surprise.

I forgive myself for every foolish thing I’ve ever done. I go forward with a light and happy heart.

I sometimes feel like I move from one foolishness to another, so it was exactly what I needed to hear!

May you also forgive yourself and go forward with a light and happy heart.

16/09/2013

Organising is not just about our schedules and surroundings; many people also organise for the peaceful way it makes them feel. Why not extend organising to clearing mental clutter and distractions?

Here are six quick and easy ways to declutter and soothe a busy mind without even really trying.

Do something adventurous. Pick an activity with (manageable) risk, where concentrating is more important than what may happen if you don’t! Your mind will naturally focus. This is one of the reasons people climb mountains, ride motorbikes, or travel to remote places—these activities bring you into the present and concentrate your mental power. But you don’t need to choose anything too big or dramatic, just something a little out of your comfort zone.

Be in nature. Head outdoors and away from technology, crowds, and urban areas. Anything from a quiet walk in a park to an overnight hike or camp where you can immerse yourself in the natural environment (if you can extend this to a week you really give yourself time to disconnect and adjust to a natural rhythm).

Practice a skill. Pick up a new skill or practice an existing one. A new skill will engage your attention as you establish new connections in your brain. A current skill, such as playing the piano, can draw you into a meditative state.

Exercise. Physically moving burns excess hormones and toxins in your body and shifts your mental state. Exercise is a great antidote to feeling stuck, tired, or overwrought as it calms and gently energises both mind and body.

Declutter your home. Aim for empty surfaces, simple lines, and highlighting things you love by giving them space. The process of removing the unimportant from your surroundings can be as therapeutic as the result. Double benefit: clearer home, clearer mind.

02/09/2013

Paperwork is a task we can take an all-or-nothing approach to. Such as
leaving the filing until it will take hours to tackle or doing all our tax
paperwork right before our appointment with the accountant.

The secret is to set aside a small amount of time,
consistently. It allows us to keep up with our paperwork with minimal effort.
When we look back, it almost seems to have done itself.

Here’s how I used this approach to transform my paperwork sessions from
marathon to mini.

Of course, sometimes the paperwork overflows a session. I like to relax
in the evenings at a reasonable time, so unless something is urgent, I put it
off to the next allocated session (a statement can usually wait another week to
be reconciled, for example).

Larger tasks also come up (such as updating the budget or preparing a
tax return). I set aside extra time, such as a weekend morning, to tackle
these. Because my routine paperwork is (mostly) up-to-date, it means everything
needed to tackle the larger jobs is ready to go, for example, all relevant tax
paperwork has been collected in a folder throughout the year.

Setting up a system and tackling our paperwork in small, regular
sessions is a great way to stay in control. It gives us a safety net and the
confidence of knowing our bills will be paid, notes will be returned to school,
and tasks will be actioned promptly.

21/08/2013

Here's another item I've never questioned before: dressing gowns. I've always had one, but never one I particularly liked. And why are they so often white (not good for cooking or eating in) and long (bulky to wash and dry)?

I found a warm, fleece hooded jacket recently that looked so cosy I didn't want to take it off. I noticed it matched a pair of my pyjamas, so I bought it and ditched the dressing gown.

My jacket is warmer to wear in the evenings than my dressing gown, and of course I can wear it during the day as well if I want to. It will also be more versatile for travelling.

18/08/2013

While I detest spending over an hour scrubbing bathrooms because I’ve
procrastinated about cleaning them, I don’t mind giving them a quick spritz and
wipe every couple of days. In fact, it feels like cheating, like I’m getting
out of cleaning the bathroom altogether :)

There are lots of ways we can organise, plan, and clean as we go that
means we stay on top of things and avoid tackling the big jobs they turn into
when left too long.

Here are a few ideas:

Implement a daily pickup. Reset your household each
evening so it runs smoothly from the moment you wake up.

Before adding a task to your to do list, ask
yourself what end result you want so you can action it in the most efficient
way.

When you start a new activity or project, set up a
system for it. That could mean assigning somewhere for the equipment, creating
a project folder, setting up templates, and figuring out streamlined routines.
You can tweak as you go, but better to have a rough framework in place from the
beginning.

Mess attracts mess so clean things up as they
happen. As soon as a pile forms, when you see a spill on the floor, or a streak
across a mirror—tackle it.

Find new possessions a home as soon as you bring
them in the door (better still, figure out where they’re going to go before you
buy them).

When you open a file (hard copy or digital), sort
through it and delete anything outdated.

Delete unwanted photos straight after you take
them.

Spend five minutes filing each evening rather than
several hours once a year.

Fill the sink with hot, soapy water before you
start cooking.

Ask children to pack up an activity before they
start a new one. They will be more willing to do this when they’re still
anticipating the new activity, not once they’ve started it!