As their wives carpool the kids to soccer, closeted suburban men troll the city’s bathhouses for anonymous — and oftentimes dangerous — gay sex. Ladies, what you don’t know might hurt you.

Read on for a really good look at what some closeted married husbands do. There are wives who say, "I can swear that my husband is not cheating, he comes home and stays home every night." The question is, do you know what he did before he came home?

ZIPPERING HIS COAT, John leaves the nondescript office building where he works as a computer systems specialist and begins the walk of shame toward 13th Street, his hands shoved deep inside his pockets. His wife doesn’t expect him yet. He has time. The walk takes 10 minutes, but feels a lot longer to him given what he’s about to do. He crosses Broad Street with long strides, follows Locust to 13th, then takes a left. It’s busy at rush hour, so he cocks his head away from the street, to conceal his face from the drivers sailing by.

At Chancellor, he turns abruptly and — ascending a couple of stairs — pulls open the door to Club Body Center, one of Philadelphia’s two bathhouses. Inside he’ll find other men, preferably other married men, with whom to have sex. His head feels like it’s on fire, swirling with a toxic brew of guilt and longing. He’s fought the urge for a few weeks now. But today, it wins.

The process at the front desk fills him with a kind of primal fear: the first glance from the man who takes his money and looks at his ID, the waiting for change, the presentation of a towel, room key and condom. Gathering them in his hands, he darts quickly out of the light of the front entrance, into the dim corridors of the bathhouse.

His eyes adjust. He can make out the forms of men loitering in the halls, naked to the waist, clad only in snug bath ­towels. They pad along in bare feet, flitting through the shadows like figures in a barely remembered dream. Their faces are obscured, but their presence registers in the tremors of blood pounding through John’s veins. By now he’s so wired, so shot through with the electric current of his desire, that it’s almost as if he has stepped outside of himself. This sensation caught hold of him the moment he decided to come here, and it’s only when he attains this state of consciousness — in which he has no more sentience than a robot — that he can come here at all.

He checks the room number on his key chain and starts down the hall, feeling like the last to arrive at a party, all eyes appraising his plain looks and middle-aged gut. The bathhouse is a big place, a maze with large tiled areas reminiscent of a spa and a series of hallways with private “rooms” — really just stalls — ­lining either side. Finding and unlocking the door to his room, he quickly switches on the light, illuminating a space no larger than a prison cell. Its cheap wooden walls don’t even reach the ceiling. He tosses his things on a narrow wooden platform that holds a thin rubber mattress, quickly strips naked, wraps his towel tightly around his waist, and steps back into the hall. This article is true on so many different levels. Please read on with an open mind. If you believe you are in this situation, you are not alone, you can find support. Please Read On.

Straight spouses be careful! A very hurt woman wants me to share this story with you.

She said her husband of more than 30 years is a gay man in the closet and has been in the closet before she met him. How did she find out? Her husband retired six months before she knew he was already retired. He hid the true date of his retirement from her so he could continue to make his gay sex hook ups during work hours.

They did everything together and he never left the house without her. She had no idea he was cheating or that he had same sex attraction/orientation. One day she met his boss's wife at a women's conference and she was wondering what her husband was doing with himself now that he was retired. She had no idea he already started his retirement as he gave her a future date for his retirement.

She was embarassed and decided to find out why he never bothered to tell her he moved his retirement date forward and never mentioned it. She also wanted to know where he went each day while he pretended to be going to work. She was livid with embarassment and so he broke down and told her the whole story.

He was gay and knew it before he met her but could not accept a life as a gay man. He had his sexual flings with men all over town and on business trips but never a real relationship. They were all flings and some anonymous. He met with other gay men during the work day and on his way home from work all these years.

He did not tell her he was already retired because he would not be able to go out and meet the other men for sex like he usually does and he was addicted to gay sex and need to be able to go out and be with men as often as he needed to without her being suspicious.

Needless to say she is devastated and feels like her whole life with him was a big farce. She threw him out temporarily because she was so angry and ashamed but he has since come back home. They have always had seperate bedrooms after their second child was born 28 years ago.

She wants me to share this as she believes many other men are doing the same thing and their wives are clueless. She said she had no idiea that her husband was gay or being unfaithful as they were always together when he was not working and from the beginning their sex life was nothing to write home about.

Men will find ways to cheat when they really want to and you may never know. So, be careful and be vigilant.

The same applies to women, one man sent me an email detailing his wife's lesbian escapades during her lunch hour. He believed she was cheating and hired a PI to investigate. The pictures he received with the accompanying report was devastating to his male ego.

His wife did not just have lesbian sex during her lunch hour, but had several lesbian lovers over a period of months. He would not believe it if he did not see the pictures and the videos from the PI.

Be vigilant. If you believe something is wrong...it probably is!

You are not alone! Reach out for support and don't handle this problem on your own. Life was not meant to be this difficult...Period!