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Choices

Most
parents spend a lot of time discussing choices with their children. There are good choices and bad choices and
those choices have consequences. For
children, choices are black and white with a clear determination of right and
wrong. As the years roll by, choices
become more complex. Right and wrong are
less clear and the consequences of your choices have larger ripple
effects. Despite our best intentions, we
don’t always observe and understand all of those ripple effects. Often times, those effects reveal themselves
over time in numerous small vignettes rather than dramatic, life changing
moments. If you are fortunate enough to
have a life changing moment, consider yourself blessed.

My life
changing moment came late one Sunday night on a drive to Bethesda, Maryland. It was a familiar drive that had become
routine as a result of my career choices.
I had chosen an executive career track with a company and the job
responsibilities that came along with that track including long hours and frequent
business travel. I made that choice
because I thought it was in the best interest of my family. The consequences of that choice were
apparent, even if I didn’t always see them.
For some reason, this drive was different. On this drive, the consequences of my choice
not only became apparent but they scared me so much it forced me to re-evaluate
everything. In a biblical sense, this
was my Saul moment where I was knocked off my horse. The moment was brought on by a thought.. I
thought to myself that I looked forward to a time when it wasn’t so hard on my
7 year old son Nicholas for me to leave, where he didn’t give me extra long
hugs and well up with tears. It finally
hit me.. “What the hell am I thinking??”.
I should be thankful that my children love me that much where they don’t
ever want me to leave them. If I’m
fortunate, they will always feel that way.
At that moment, I committed in my mind to create a different situation

When I
returned from that business trip, I put Nicholas to bed and told him that I was
sorry and that Daddy’s don’t always make the best choices, even though we
try. I looked him in the eye, shook his
hand and committed to find a new job that required fewer hours and little to no
business travel. The twinkle in his eye
let me know that I was making the right choice.
An absolutely brutal several months of work, travel and job searching
ensued but every night I went to bed I thought of that commitment that I made
to Nicholas. This past week, I made good
on that commitment. I resigned from my
previous company to take a new job with a firm that is headquartered 20 minutes
from my house. I’ll have to travel a few
times a year and will work significantly fewer hours.

Living an
experience based lifestyle isn’t always about the experiences themselves. Sometimes it’s about making choices to
preserve the time to have the opportunity to create those experiences. I’ve climbed the Great Wall in China, sat in
the Sydney Opera House, toured the Taj Mahal in Agra, peered out from the
Eiffel Tower, stood on tables at Oktoberfest, kissed the Blarney Stone, sampled
fresh tequila in Mexico, zip lined through the rain forests of Costa Rica, swam
with stingrays in the Cayman, experienced WWII through Anne Frank’s eyes in
Amsterdam, snorkeled in the Bahamas, walked along the St. Lawrence in Montreal,
walked around Stonehenge, sipped whiskey in Edinburgh, looked out from the
Space Needle, stared at the Sea Lions and Golden Gate Bridge from Pier 39,
drove Mulholland Drive through Hollywood Hills, looked up from underneath the
Arch in St. Louis, had deep dish in Chitown, threw beads from balconies in the
Big Easy, got lost in Central Park, went horseback riding in Yellowstone,
gambled in Sin City, sat behind homeplate at Fenway, ate lobster in Maine, felt
the mist of Niagra Falls, admired Mount Rushmore, listened to bluegrass in an
old Kentucky barn, hiked down the Grand Canyon, sipped mojitos on South Beach,
ate Mexican along Riverwalk, drove A1A in Florida and Pacific Coast highway in Cali,
searched for pirate treasure in the OBX, honky tonked in Nashville, bumped
along the Hana highway in Maui, hiked the red rocks outside Denver and sampled
BBQ in KC.

I’ve
experienced a tremendous amount in the last 15 years... more than many people
experience in a lifetime. What I
appreciate the most is not those individual experiences, it’s the resulting
wisdom that helps me see that sometimes what we perceive as complex choices
are not that complex at all. They really
are as simple as the choices we make as children.