Month: November 2014

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with birthday and Christmas approaching, I feel like it is time for a wish. Super models have come to Paris to inaugurate the Christmas collections and decorations of the biggest department stores: Galleries Laffayette, Printemps, … super models Jerry Hall, Kate Moss and Cara Delevigne.

But my favorite department store is the “Bon Marché”, that makes you feel part of a fairy tale: -)

Actually the photo is from last year’s decoration, because this year it is even more beautiful…

What did you ask? How about my goals? Of course I have been focusing on them… Funding the artistic project, contacting senior artists and people from the art world to get some support… I started telling around me that I am a candidate…

Apart from that I actually prepare my rendezvous with the wannabe boss next week, but couldn’t I use a distraction?

don’t get me wrong, but I was a bit annoyed today after listening to a friend’s councils on my love life.

We went out for a drink and after some questions and answers I mentioned my most recent romantic adventures. And the two last times I have fallen in love. With B, the guy of the café with whom I was flirting in May, and K, the mysterious guy I met during my holidays at the South of France, this summer.

Especially for this one, I felt something very strong, it was as if we knew each other all our lives, and everything you are supposed to feel when you are in love. And what happened? Just a goodby kiss and I was left feeling up the rest with my imagination. Because he is in a relationship.

I know I have no reason to expect anything, but there are some feelings lingering.

My friend analyzed these situations and the result was that I get it wrong, either on the way I behave or because I appear too assertive and powerful women and scare men away.

My friend meant well, she also talking about herself as a powerful woman.

But this result and analysis didn’t feel right. It was as if I was thrust into a category, classified into a box, from where you don’t know how to escape.

I am sure I am afraid of relationships myself, and can have sabotaging behaviors, but I feel that with the time I am taking more risks.

And yes, I believe that we change and even if there are patterns in our way to connect, we are the authors of our lives and we can mould it into something different 🙂

after catching my breath and resting a bit this weekend, I thought about the next steps to take once my application has been submitted:

I need to tell people in our field who know me and ask for their support. Because it is a small artistic world and I have to “lobby” for my project. And find a balance between being in my world and out of touch, dreaming, and of this world and answering emails or communicating with other human beings.

The other thing, I decided it to create a “coaching” group, for mutual support. There are some of my friends who are at a similar moment in their lives, and getting together might help us being accountable for our objectives.

Oh, wait a second, you might object, if you have similar issues, for example, if neither of you has a stable relationship, what are you going to advice each other? Actually, you might add, maybe it is having a similar lifestyle that allowed you to be friends in the first place.

But wouldn’t you need someone who has succeeded in the field you are interested in, in order to change? If you all have a similar issue, you might encourage each other to stay where you are, since change might mean to leave the club!

I think you have an important point there, so I need to make sure this doesn’t happen!

How?

Do you remember I have a Psychology degree? Before I became an artistic event organizer, I have studied. Are all psychologists perfect? Even Freud couldn’t get rid of smoking. So I don’t need to be perfect to start my initiative. I already have two friends who would join the group. We will start a Sunday afternoon club.

How do we make sure we stay on the track of growth? By having an objective and keeping ourselves accountable. Loving ourselves doesn’t mean lying to ourselves. But it also means believing in ourselves and in each other.

Also by feeling that there is not only one way to succeed in something we want.

I did it! I submitted my funding proposal on time! At 23.3o tonight! Do you know the post-office of the Louvre? Oh, you never needed to post anything, sorry, I forget that you are not human!

That is where I found myself at almost midnight in Paris. The post-office of the Louvre is the one that stays open 24 hours a day. If you need to have something sent -it could be something to pay, or an application with a deadline, in Paris, you can go there at midnight minus one minute and get the stamp that you mailed it this day.

It has something of a Cinderella air about it, you see 🙂

I have already some stories with it, myself running to apply for something, at the really last-minute, taking a taxi to go faster, falling into some kind of traffic jam, the driver feeling for me and leaving his taxi to make sure I get my parcel on time with the right stamp, and then getting into a fight with the lady who is serving at the post-office.

Is it just to me that things like that happen?

What is miraculous, is that I did it!

Last night I didn’t get much sleep, and I was up at six in the morning, working on the different aspects of this proposal. At some point I needed a USB stick, and the shop accross the street had a last one. And it looked like a toy-owl! I started laughing. Could I be taken seriously with an pink owl-USB stick for my written project?

I might be awake until November 7 comes around, finishing a version of my project; tomorrow I need to submit it, but there is also material I have to gather, so writing a text isn’t the whole thing. Am I awake enough after a glass of wine? Should I go for a fourth coffee?

Do I understand what I read? Write what I think?

Do I think at all?

The most important thing is to give that impression 😉

No, I am sure I do, it is just communicating it that seems complicated at times.

And for sometimes, the right words come up at the right moment and we almost listen to ourselves surprised as is it were someone else 🙂

Hello there November, I found this story told by the Argentinian psychologist Jorge Bucay and I find it motivating, so here it is:

Be a Freesia

A king went to his garden and discovered that his trees, bushes and flowers were dying. The Oak told him that it was dying because it could not be as tall as the Pine. Getting back to the Pine, he found it drooping because it could not produce grapes as the grapevine. The Grapevine was dying, because it could not bloom as a Rose. The Rose was crying because it could not be as tall and solid as the Oak. Then he found a plant, a Freesia, in bloom and as fresh as ever.

The king asked:
– How is it that you grow healthily in the midst of this withered and gloomy garden?
– I don’t know. Maybe because I always assumed that when you planted me, you wanted freesias. If you would have wanted an Oak or a Rose, you would have planted those. At that moment, I told myself: “I will try to be a Freesia the best way I can”.

Now it is your turn. You are here to contribute with your fragrance. Simply look at yourself. There is no possibility that you can be another person. You can either enjoy being you and grow watered by your own love for yourself, or wither condemned by your own sentence…

this morning I had a meeting with the big boss of the Platform. My objective was to go around the no 2, the wannabe boss, but this objective didn’t work: he told me what I do is fine, but he is occupied with other things, and it is no 2 who decides about the people and who stays there.

And the wannabe boss with his assistant are waiting for me next week. Hmm, I was not thrilled to hear that, but I smiled and just said that I don’t know if I am a favorite with the wannabe boss these times… Big boss reassured me that wannabe boss will look at the quality of my work and not personal questions…

Ok, then I will do my best.

Later I was walking in one of the Platform’s corridors and as I was turning right towards the elevators I came face to face with the wannabe boss 🙂 I was taken by surprise and made a “aha” sound, but so did he, and in a moment I was saved by two Platform employers who arrived.

It was kind of funny, but that made me tense, and I advanced on the project, but felt that I used a lot of energy at this meetings; No 1 and 2 of the Platform on the same day, this is something… 🙂

Then, I felt my confidence lower, am I writing a good proposal, is this an original idea, do I find the right words to express it, does it have a structure? Does it look professional enough?

Will I get any support on this? I don’t even have enough time to ask around…

After all these questions, some chocolate and a walk in the park, “limitations are self-imposed”

The important thing is that I love this project! I finally came up with an idea that inspires me!

Is it too ambitious? Maybe, but even if this funding application comes too early, I can make it better and submit it again!

Isn’t it great to feel that I might contribute something to the world!

I was to have a meeting with the big boss this morning, but something came up and he postponed it to tomorrow morning.

This is ok, but he also added I need to discuss the details of my project with the wannabe boss, the no 2, and this is what I have been trying to avoid. The wannabe boss has been very hard on me last year, and I want to go around him, let him be in a parallel universe to mine. Like two planets with a different orbit…

At the same time, there is the funding proposal for the end of the week. The deadline could be useful to concentrate and come up with something clear that can be communicated to other people…

I have advanced with that last night, however, there is more 🙂

After some moments of self-doubt and questioning, I went to the nearest park and watched the trees, the grass and birds. It was an inspiring moment. If I am going to convince anyone, I have first to be convinced of my ideas. And enthusiastic about them! Isn’t it great!

you came with a new challenge for me: I decided to submit a project for funding for November 7. When did I find out about the call? Three days ago, and I have a lot of material to propose, but I really need to put it well together in order to show what I’ve got 🙂

The thing is, I have an idea I really like, and I can see already great artists and great people working with me on that, bringing together their creativity and ideas!

Writing is part of it, so my inner self should be also satisfied.

It is so great to bring together a good team, it gives so much energy!

I just finished a draft and tomorrow I will see a few people to try it on them 🙂

Here is a song I found on you tube by chance, and I like to share it: “Top of the World”, The Carpenters