If someone asks if you are from Iran, say you are Persian. Then explain the historical difference of Persia versus Iran in relation to Arianism with a complete disregard that being part of the Aryan people is not something that matters to anyone except "Ich liebe dick" Hitler.

Do not think that you can make rules up out of thin air. They have been around for millennia. Simply refer to your favorite books on the subject: "The Bible for Dummies" and M. Scott Peck's "Paths to Highly Effective Bowel Movements."

If someone says they thought Iran was Iraq, then punch them in the face. Afterward, explain that they're two different countries, while rolling your eyes and thinking silently to yourself, "Americans are so stupid," without realizing that you are in the same outfit as the person you are criticizing, and drinking the same "Cold Flu Fighter" from Jamba Juice off the corner of Sepulveda and Santa Monica Boulevard.

Now go eat four bowls of Basmati rice with saffron. When they ask you if you want tadigh, or the fried rice from the bottom of a pot of rise, say, "I am watching my figure." Then order two more dishes, including kashk e-badamjoon, some koo koo e-sabzi, and ask the waitress if she knows Farsi.

The volcanic islandnortheast of the island of Saint Vincentnamed after Saint Lucy of Syracuse by the Frenchhas a drive-in volcano.

Arawaks, its first known inhabitants,might have called it something else.The English definitely wanted to,fighting over the island with France 14 timesuntil the country declared its independencefrom them both in 1979.

Tourism is still vital to its economyof previously enslaved Africans and Caribs alikewho are overworked and maltreated by European replacementsto man sulphur springs and other vacation destinationsthat will help the market for bananas to become more competitive.

No one told him the French shot a Samoan attempting to steal an iron boltHe didn't need to know

Warfare as an instrument of political change was discarded, as was polygamy, abortion, "indecent" dances, and certain common articles of clothing (such as the titi, a skirt made from Cordyline terminalis leaves)

Later, other papalagi (foreigners) visited Samoa for its proximity to whaling grounds and the harbor of Pago Pago

Coconut milk, fresh fish, breadfruit, and tinned or fresh meat were dropped in favor of Western foods, a sedentary life, and higher risks of obesity and diabetes

People stopped fishing and the USA took control of its allotted region on June 7, 1900 with the Deed of Cession

Now Samoa is known to have only two distinct seasons: the hot and rainy season and the cooler evenings from May to November