but.....the pain, was from a cyst that was trying to support the pregnancy, since my body wasn't telling my body to do that.....

got on meds, and saved this baby!

this baby....is due....november 11th....the same day, a year later, that i didn't want to remember. it is god's timing!

it is god's way of making that day a special day!

on march 24, we heard our baby's heartbeat.

this was the first time we had that experience.....

it was AMAZING!

we had a healthy baby,

and we were in love!

we started calling the baby pickle

and all was right with the world!

flake was enjoying his new job.

school was going well for me.

our parents knew we were having a baby.

we found out flake's sister was having a baby too.

how exciting!

we bought a house

and moved out of the apartment

which sadly had turned into the ghetto before our eyes.

turbo moved to a farm.

all was PERFECT!

spring was here,

birds were singing

flake had an awesome month at work

(he is in sales.....so i learned the hard way every month isn't the same!)

my little friends at school were growing and learning so much

and all seemed right with the world.

the end of the school year approached

and my little pickle was growing.

my grandmother got even more sick.

my world started to change before my eyes.

i realized that she would not be here for the rest of my life.

i realized that she might not be here for my child's life.

i realized she would be better off in heaven than here on earth, but i was selfish and not ready for her to leave.

i learned my bestest friend was expecting a baby too!

good....bad.....such is life!

we remembered our babies that should have been born.

we miss them......but we are thankful for our pickle

the end of the school year....

field day

fun

got a call at school that shook my world

pickle's quad screening came back abnormal.

pickle might have a neural tube defect.

panic

ultrasound to make sure

pickle .... barley moved

90 minutes later, we still didn't know if our baby was ok,

90 minutes of looking but not being sure

90 minutes of learning we had a very very stubborn child!

(pickle totally gets that from me!)

another appointment scheduled,

we found out NO neural tube defect

and we were having a BOY!

god was with us!

a month of travel .....

headed to the mountains with great friends

headed to the beach to visit my best friend (who is pregnant)

headed to the outer banks for my brother's wedding (yes to the same bride he married the year before!)

all was perfect!

our baby was growing.

flake had an ok month at work....by far not the greatest!

my grandmother was doing ok, still holding on.

and summer break was going great....HOT but great!

found out that my best friend's pregnancy is going well, her baby isn't surrounded by any fluid, and the doctors think she may loose her baby! i'm sad for her, i'm broken for her, and i want to fix it! i ask everyone i know to pray for her and her precious baby!

flake is still working hard.

sales are going well, but hopeful things will get better.

work starts back for me.

i'm very big....

and quite uncomfortable....

having lots of contractions....and bleeding, but the doctors think pickle is still perfect!

we had our first baby shower, and showered we were.

pickle got lots and lots of great things!

we got to see and spend lots of time with my grandmother.

god is great for allowing her to still be with us.

my best friend's baby is still hanging on, despite what the doctors have thought.

flake turns 30.

it was a great......HOT..... month!

happy labor day.

happy birthday to me.

happy baby shower.

work is going.....

grandmother is still holding on.

best friend's baby ..... still holding on.

pickle is growing, in fact he is measuring big (3 weeks big to be exact!)

doctor signed me out of work.

at 33 weeks.....i still am nauseous every day, vomit a lot (but not daily anymore), struggle to sleep, and struggle to keep my kidneys balanced, not to mention dealing with contractions/bleeding....but all in all, my pregnancy is perfect.

i continue to ask everyone i know to pray for my best friend's baby!

flake is working....all the time!

we thought about our baby we lost, but we were thankful for our pickle.

and here we are....a year later.

flake's sister had her baby, a month early

the precious little girl she brought into the world is a prefect mix of her and her husband!

beautiful!

our precious nephew is dealing with his new status of brother.

flake works....ALL THE TIME!!! (could it be that i'm home all the time, and just miss him, probably?!)

my grandmother is still holding on.

i'm still very VERY pregnant!

my best friend delivered her baby 2 months early

i spend my days off of work, updating the masses of how the miracle baby is doing.

the same baby who the doctors said would not make it through delivery is 5 days old. the same baby that the doctors said would never ever develop lungs, has some holes in her lung tissue, but it is able to heal, as long as she remains stable.

I was scrolling through my blogs and I thought "OMG she's back?! when dis she get back?! and where has she been?!" and then I read, and I teared up and felt your pain, and then your joy! I am so happy for you! And I now know why periodically i would think of you, and I'm sure it was at the times when you needed positive energy sent your way, for everything happens for a reason!I'm glad you're back, even if it isn't regular, it's nice to know you're...okay.