X Rays, Calls of Nature, Dogs & Rainwater

Esquire's Answer Fella believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does or who has a guess that sounds right.

I dislike dental X rays, and yeah, it's because I worry that the radiation can give me cancer. So it pisses me off when a flossier-than-thou hygienist says, "You get more radiation walking in the sun for 20 minutes." Last time I took a walk, I didn't see any detailed photo of my entrails on the sidewalk. So am I being neurotic, or am I right to worry?

"Flossier-than-thou," eh? And "entrails," too? It seems obvious to AF that radiation exposure hasn't yet affected your diction or your wit. And if you heed Dr. Charles Weitz of Grand Traverse Radiologists, you have less to fear from those dental X rays than from a flight from Newark to San Francisco: "We measure radiation dose in different ways. The form we would talk about is a rem, which measures the amount of biological damage to tissue. A single bitewing dental film is about 1 millirem, a two-view chest X ray will give 6 millirems, a mammogram provides 50 to 70 millirems. Flying across the country would give you 1.5 millirems. Per year, just from natural background radiation, we get 300 millirems -- at sea level. If you live in Denver, your background radiation would be 450 to 600 millirems per year. Big picture, it's not dangerous."

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Still, you are wise to worry about your cumulative exposure to radiation, including X rays, and so should your dentist.

"In order to expose patients to as little radiation as possible," notes Dr. Neill Serman, former head of the oral radiology division at Columbia University School of Dental and Oral Surgery, "most dentists ask new patients how recently they had dental X rays taken. If patients were recently x-rayed in another office, the dentist will attempt to obtain copies."

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In short, then, always take the calm assurances of mainstream medical experts with a grain of iodized salt. And stay the hell out of Denver.

How do cops go to the bathroom on a stakeout?

If you're Lieutenant Randy Sutton of the Las Vegas Metropolitan PD, a 32-year veteran, you pee in a bottle.

"But the thing is," Lieutenant Sutton tells AF, "you've got to make sure you get the wide mouth. Size really does matter. You either use a soft-drink bottle or a gallon water jug.

"Most of the time that you're doing surveillance, you're either in the vehicle or you're out on foot. If you're out on foot, use the nearest bush. If you're in the vehicle, you have your trusty thermos and water jug with you. Just make sure you don't drink out of the wrong one."

But Scott Baker, former NYPD officer and coauthor of The Funniest Cop Stories Ever, begs to differ: "You better be a pretty important criminal that I gotta piss in a bottle. I can't get outside the car and pee by the hubcap? My partner's in the car, I'm going to put my hammer in a bottle? C'mon -- it ain't gonna happen."

As for on-duty doody, Sutton says, "You're out of luck. You've just got to leave the surveillance." To avoid such an outcome, Baker recommends avoiding Taco Bell before beginning a stakeout: "Maybe something light. Some tuna salad, possibly."

Why do dogs love to stick their heads out the windows of moving cars?

"Nobody really knows," says Dr. James A. Serpell, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine, "but we could hazard some good guesses. They can get their senses into the smells. And dogs really like speed. They like to feel the wind in their fur, the same reason that dogs enjoy running just for fun. They run because they enjoy the sensation of traveling fast, and I think they get the same kick out of sticking their nose out of the car window, feeling the speed, and watching the landscape rush past."

Hmm. Given where Answer Cur's nose spends much of its time wedged, AF would've guessed that a primary purpose of the car-window thing would be along the lines of a good power-washing.

Is it okay to drink rainwater?

Sure, as long as it hasn't first bounced off Baker's hubcap or passed through Lieutenant Sutton's kidneys.

But seriously, David Cook, a meteorologist at the U.S. Department of Energy's Argonne National Laboratory outside Chicago, tells AF, "It's normally safe to drink rainwater, but there are some exceptions. If you live near a power plant or smelter or chemical plant where the plume comes over your house on a frequent basis, rain will be washing out some of the ugly things in that plume. In that kind of situation, you probably wouldn't want to be collecting rainwater to drink."

Richard E. Barrans Jr., of the University of Wyoming's department of physics and astronomy, says that "rainwater itself is usually pretty good stuff," but "the problem is how you collect it. If you catch it into a clean container, it's fine, but if it runs along the ground, it can pick up whatever junk is on the ground, and if it runs along a roof, it can pick up whatever kind of junk is on the roof."