First of all, yes, I volunteer all the time with both of the boy's schools. Yes, I have driven for these field trips before. Which is why I say that I would never do this to another parent. If it was me running ten minutes late for any reason, and the director of the preschool wasn't picking up, I would call the land line at the church which is always manned during regular business hours. I'm sure one of the staff would go out and alert any parents with children in my care.

The rest of the group was fifteen minutes later than they expected to be. They should have been back at 2:45. But were all back except late mom by 3:10.

Let's be clear, I understand being late. I don't understand not making every effort to contact the people I was late for. Especially when I have their child in my care.

Also, really how hard is it to call your older childs school and let them know whats up so they can tell your children and maybe let them wait in the office for you?

I think all parents have different priorities for the safety of their child. I would rather someone be 10 minutes late than hear they were on the phone making multiple calls and being distracted while driving with my hypothetical child in the car. It may be worth considering that the volunteer felt the same way I do and wouldn't be overly worried about the lateness.

To me, at the end of the day, the big issue would be: was my child actually, really, safe?

Not, "did I worry that he might not be safe?"But "*Was* he safe?"

He was safe. He was perfectly safe. He was safely strapped into a safe car seat in the backseat of a safe car driven by a safe driver.

So while I might have been a bit worried, I would be done worrying or thinking about this.

If I thought the timing might lead this mom to do a similar thing (i.e., if the group really wasn't that late in leaving the place they'd gone), I'd say to the director that I'd like it if they explored the "picking up your kids" issue with other daycare parents in the future.

I know it's my time to volunteer to drive.I'm told we are to be back by 2:45 which gives me 15 min to get to my older kids school.We leave the field trip a little later than expected, but it should still be able to drop off at the preschool and make it to my kids school on time.Traffic is horrible. I'll never make it on time. My kids go to a public school with zero tolerance for late parents.I leave a message for preschool director that I'll be late.(unfortunately she doesn't get it)I'm transporting kids and in school zones so no time to make more calls.I pick up my kids a few minutes late and arrive at preschool 10 min after the other parents.I get death stares from a mom. Didn't the director pass on my message?

I know it's my time to volunteer to drive.I'm told we are to be back by 2:45 which gives me 15 min to get to my older kids school.We leave the field trip a little later than expected, but it should still be able to drop off at the preschool and make it to my kids school on time.Traffic is horrible. I'll never make it on time. My kids go to a public school with zero tolerance for late parents.I leave a message for preschool director that I'll be late.(unfortunately she doesn't get it)I pick up my kids a few minutes late and arrive at preschool 10 min after the other parents.I get death stares from a mom. Didn't the director pass on my message?

we have no idea that this is tardy mom's thought process. Unless she posts her side of the story, this can turn into a slippery slope

Driving mum broke the rules. Doesn't really matter if it was for a good reason or not, she broke a rule set by the school for the safety of the children in their care. If something had happend while she was rule breaking, the school would have been considered at least partly at fault. For that reason alone I think the OP is entitled to talk to the school about it and request her child doesn't go with that driver anymore. The driver should also have the issue carefully explained to her so she knows just why said rule is a rule

I know it's my time to volunteer to drive.I'm told we are to be back by 2:45 which gives me 15 min to get to my older kids school.We leave the field trip a little later than expected, but it should still be able to drop off at the preschool and make it to my kids school on time.Traffic is horrible. I'll never make it on time. My kids go to a public school with zero tolerance for late parents.I leave a message for preschool director that I'll be late.(unfortunately she doesn't get it)I pick up my kids a few minutes late and arrive at preschool 10 min after the other parents.I get death stares from a mom. Didn't the director pass on my message?

we have no idea that this is tardy mom's thought process. Unless she posts her side of the story, this can turn into a slippery slope

No, we don't know. But it sounds plausible to me. She may have sincerely thought that being 10 minutes late returning OP's child to preschool *wasn't* a big deal, especially since she did call. She probably weighed the consequences of picking up her own kids 20 minutes late against returning OP's child 10 minutes late (and calling to let the preschool know -- it's not her fault nobody picked up the call). Heck, she may have underestimated the time involved and figured she'd only be a couple of minutes late arriving back at the preschool.

She was not "traipsing around running personal errands." She was picking up her children at school. I'm not a parent, but I was a teacher, and I know schools can get very cranky about late pickups, even fining parents or calling police to come get the kids if the parents haven't shown up by a certain time.

I understand the OP's anxiety and I think the mom should be spoken to. "Mrs. Jones, if something comes up that's going to delay you getting back to the preschool, please let a staff member know, and we'll arrange alternate return transportation for the children you drove." That's what she should have done, but it probably didn't occur to her because it was only going to be a few minutes. But banning her from driving on future field trips because of what was basically a "stuff happens" situation I think is an overreaction.

Having taken kids on field trips, there is a pretty significant difference.

Having taken kids on plenty of field trips myself, my point was that parents are well within their rights to request that their child ride only in the school's vehicle (be it a van, bus or horse drawn wagon). The size of said vehicle has very little to do with it. That said, if there are more requests than # of seats in whichever vehicle there may be occasions that either your child misses the trip or Mom/Dad needs to drive.

I think if the timing was so close that a delay in traffic would cause problems with the other school, the other mother should have arranged at the pumpkin patch for the OP's child to travel back with someone else, or at least let them know she might possibly have to take a detour. In cases like these I wouldn't have left it to chance that I'd have time to make it. Additionally, if I couldn't reach someone, I wouldn't assume they'd have gotten my message; I'd try calling the landline the OP mentioned previously to make double sure someone knows. So from my perspective I understand why the other mum did that but I don't think she took all the steps she should have taken, and I definitely think the school should give her a talking to about appropriate actions in similar situations. I also don't think the OP is out of line to complain, and to not want her child sent with the other mother again. I think the other parent showed remarkably poor judgement in the way she handled this and I wouldn't trust her not to mess up again.

If I was the OP, I'd also be concerned about whether the school insurance covers the detour other mother took picking up her kids. If there had been an accident and OP's child was hospitalised, would ambulance and medical care be covered by the school our would the OP be out of pocket? I think that's also something I'd want some assurance about.

I know it's my time to volunteer to drive.I'm told we are to be back by 2:45 which gives me 15 min to get to my older kids school.We leave the field trip a little later than expected, but it should still be able to drop off at the preschool and make it to my kids school on time.Traffic is horrible. I'll never make it on time. My kids go to a public school with zero tolerance for late parents.I leave a message for preschool director that I'll be late.(unfortunately she doesn't get it)I'm transporting kids and in school zones so no time to make more calls.I pick up my kids a few minutes late and arrive at preschool 10 min after the other parents.I get death stares from a mom. Didn't the director pass on my message?

I think this scenario is highly plausible, even likely. It's not like she showed up with a car full of groceries. I can sympathize with the OP - it would have been a tense 10 minutes, wondering where your kid was, getting more and more nervous, thoughts possibly turning to scary scenarios. And I think you'd be within your rights to bring it up with the preschool *once*, but after that I'd let it go. I would guess that the mom was rushing, thinking that she could still be almost on time, and realizing that making calls while driving is dangerous. Everyone is trying to do their best in this scenario, I would assume.

The school needs to work on its time management on field trips as well. And they also need to have land-line phones available to take messages and pass them on asap - in person, if need be (otherwise, could be a parent driver stuck in traffic who can't get a hold of anyone and worried parents, etc). Their policies aren't very thorough right now.

I do think the volunteer driver should have called her kids' school when she couldn't reach the principal and see what she could work out with them. I don't think leaving a message was sufficient when she was being trusted with other peoples' kids.

When my sister's kids were in elementary school (and the school did have preschool and pre-k in same building), field trips were done with district buses much like the experiences my sister and I had at the same age. Teachers and parent volunteers were on the buses with us.

My mother would be often be a chaperone as my sister worked during the day and seldom could get off work to volunteer. If my mother had to drove separate from the buses, I have no idea as I was at work during the day myself. From what she has told me, she never had to transport other kids besides her own grandkids as she had the correct sized car/booster seats for them already in her car.

We use parent volunteers as drivers for my Girl Scout troop. My suggestion to the director is that each driver should have the emergency contact info for the children that they are driving and the children's parents should have the driver's contact information. Girl Scouts also require my drivers to have a copy of each passengers health history forms. I place a copy in a sealed envelope, only to be opened in case of an emergency.We also had an issue at school where the bus was separated by the parent drivers by a huge accident. There was an hour delay between the two. Thankfully the parent drivers were able to call other parents directly and explain what happened.

For all of our preschool field trips, the school either rented school buses (which all the kids had to ride) or their own parents drove. No carpooling unless the parents made arrangements with each other.