Hi everyone, i am new to this forums and just have one question that i can't seem to answer. You see, my girl recently broke it up with me after 14 months as the same "i don't feel it anymore, i need some space" which i am giving to her. So after doing a bit of research, i decided to go for no contact for a month or so. Problem is after 2 days of no contact after she ended it with me, every day after that, she is texting me at night say "Hey you" (like she wants to talk) or "Whatz up" or just saying anything like "damn that movie i saw today sucked" as the opening line to greet me and start conversation. I did what most people did and to just keep the texting short and saying i have something else to do. But what is she trying to tell me here? Does she really want to see how i am, if i've submitted to dispair? in that case I don't need her sympathy but it would be rude to say that, but my mom (great counselor lol) told me that women are selfish people that don't care how ur feeling but only themselves and that she's calling you cuz she's lonely and misses you and wants to talk to you. I don't blame her, i mean i've given her a present every montly anniversary to remind her of my love for her from mugs with our names on it to a clock with our names and love forever engraved on it all custom made also including 2 rings with diamonds. Everywhere she goes i am with her lol im so pathetic hehe.... anyways, i don't know what to do with her contacting me, her friends are even calling me but i don't want to talk to them cuz she might be asking them to call me to see whatzup but i want her to do that.

So bottom line is , what do i about her texting me? i mean i want to keep the lines of communication open, but i don't want her to think im someone she can cling to until she finds someone else (is that how it works?), and it still hurts slightly when she talks to me so casually. Or maybe she's starting to regret her decision and trying to get closer to me.

[quote:14142ddc3e="changwang310"]Hi everyone, i am new to this forums and just have one question that i can't seem to answer. You see, my girl recently broke it up with me after 14 months as the same "i don't feel it anymore, i need some space" which i am giving to her. So after doing a bit of research, i decided to go for no contact for a month or so. Problem is after 2 days of no contact after she ended it with me, every day after that, she is texting me at night say "Hey you" (like she wants to talk) or "Whatz up" or just saying anything like "damn that movie i saw today sucked" as the opening line to greet me and start conversation. I did what most people did and to just keep the texting short and saying i have something else to do. But what is she trying to tell me here? Does she really want to see how i am, if i've submitted to dispair? in that case I don't need her sympathy but it would be rude to say that, but my mom (great counselor lol) told me that women are selfish people that don't care how ur feeling but only themselves and that she's calling you cuz she's lonely and misses you and wants to talk to you. I don't blame her, i mean i've given her a present every montly anniversary to remind her of my love for her from mugs with our names on it to a clock with our names and love forever engraved on it all custom made also including 2 rings with diamonds. Everywhere she goes i am with her lol im so pathetic hehe.... anyways, i don't know what to do with her contacting me, her friends are even calling me but i don't want to talk to them cuz she might be asking them to call me to see whatzup but i want her to do that.

So bottom line is , what do i about her texting me? i mean i want to keep the lines of communication open, but i don't want her to think im someone she can cling to until she finds someone else (is that how it works?), and it still hurts slightly when she talks to me so casually. Or maybe she's starting to regret her decision and trying to get closer to me.

Any ideas?[/quote:14142ddc3e]

In your last part there, dude. Tell her just what you told us. Good luck !

Why dont you just call her tell her you love her and that you want to be together again as it is extremely probably what she want but dont think she can do after having broken up with you....

so instead to keep each in its aquarium all anxious for nothing, move your but and run back to her..thats whats she is waiting for.
What do you risk? what are you afraid of?
Looking stupid?
Dont you are so suffering like that and coming in this forum and listeneing to mum good to her on acid commentaries?
So, youve got none to loose and all to gain: just give it a go!
Fox are more scare to looks foolish or stupid than to get themselves kill or to start a war!
Just go to her and kiss her wildly, if she is too shoked or dont like it, well, you had fun and she will have got soemthing to remember rest of her life, so it will be cool anyway..
Stop taking that so damnn seriously. Relax Max.
she send you a message? answer it. ask her why she ask, tell her how it feels, and what you think, her reason are for doing so.
COmpare notes, and see if it match, and my meaning is that you love each other too much to alow yourself to just be happy!!!
When its come to emotions people act and speak as if they were 3 years old!
They dont even think of doing the most obvious thing: ask directly
Like you ask if you want to know what time it is, and have no watch on you.
Cant be that difficult.
If you are wrong, drink a large glass of lemon with water but no sugar.
Will that be punishment enough or do you need more to feel threaten not to make a move at all?

I understand where your coming from. I broke up with bf about two months ago and every two weeks I get a text. Which honestly its' nice to know he thinks of me but it also sets me back in getting past him and I. I have told him several times "no contact", but I still get contact mostly negative every two weeks. He called the other night I hit no to the answer. He left a message and told me that I need to call him, I did not do so.

Sorry your having trouble. she needs to let you get on with your life if that's what you want. I have learned life is to short to spend your time wondering if the one you gave your heart to will return. I gave my bf everything and he couldn't get there and now I am finally past it.

SMile,_________________What hurts the most, was being so close and watching you walk away and never knowing what could have been.

[quote:1228a9406e="LoveFrank"]I understand where your coming from. I broke up with bf about two months ago and every two weeks I get a text. Which honestly its' nice to know he thinks of me but it also sets me back in getting past him and I. I have told him several times "no contact", but I still get contact mostly negative every two weeks. He called the other night I hit no to the answer. He left a message and told me that I need to call him, I did not do so.

Sorry your having trouble. she needs to let you get on with your life if that's what you want. I have learned life is to short to spend your time wondering if the one you gave your heart to will return. I gave my bf everything and he couldn't get there and now I am finally past it.

One more thing; text is nice but if you can't pick up a phone and call one then why even bother. I have all the updated tech. but there is nothing better than the old face to face. Just my view on text. Don't hide behind a text stand up and communicate with feeling. Usually if the person has feelings or cares for one then you can see that in their eyes.

Just a thought, Kendra_________________What hurts the most, was being so close and watching you walk away and never knowing what could have been.

One more thing; text is nice but if you can't pick up a phone and call one then why even bother. I have all the updated tech. but there is nothing better than the old face to face. Just my view on text. Don't hide behind a text stand up and communicate with feeling. Usually if the person has feelings or cares for one then you can see that in their eyes.

Just a thought, Kendra[/quote:d3d25b86ef]

Thats right, face to face is always best, and if not possible at least a phone call is better than text to can communicate with feelings. You can hear them in the voice.

First off, thanks for all the replies, you people have been my inspiration

alright, well i called her and told her i still had feelings for her but said to her not to contact me anymore if she really cared for me so i wouldn't suffer the pain anymore. I really couldn't take talkin to her casually anymore, it was screwing with my head too much and just had to tell her to only call me when her "heart" had something to tell me. when we were saying our good byes , i could hear her fighting back her tears, guess pretty much being dead to her and her hearing that i've been going on dates (only played this card because she directly told me when we broke up that she'd always be jealous) was really getting to her. Hope its only a matter of days or weeks before she realizes what she has left, i hope i'll still be there for her, if not, then life goes on.....

Only one thing tugs at my mind, how does one come out of nowhere and say i miss you, i love you, i wanna be with you?

[quote:274562bfdf="changwang310"]First off, thanks for all the replies, you people have been my inspiration

alright, well i called her and told her i still had feelings for her but said to her not to contact me anymore if she really cared for me so i wouldn't suffer the pain anymore. I really couldn't take talkin to her casually anymore, it was screwing with my head too much and just had to tell her to only call me when her "heart" had something to tell me. when we were saying our good byes , i could hear her fighting back her tears, guess pretty much being dead to her and her hearing that i've been going on dates (only played this card because she directly told me when we broke up that she'd always be jealous) was really getting to her. Hope its only a matter of days or weeks before she realizes what she has left, i hope i'll still be there for her, if not, then life goes on.....

Only one thing tugs at my mind, how does one come out of nowhere and say i miss you, i love you, i wanna be with you?

any feedback or support would be appreciated : )[/quote:274562bfdf]

You have really blown it up!

Here was your chance to say you had feelings for her, and you did, but why on earth did you said the reast who wasnt even true and made her cry??? she obvioulsy want to be with you again and you too, so why not just do it simply and why this need in you to have to make her suffer? do you love her? so why do you do this to her?
Two persons cant always be all fine and agree about everything. Sometimes some crisis occur, you 2 had maybe something to clear out first, or she had to make sure about her feelings for you, and now she did. So what do you want with your bad attitude? Punish her for not being perfect and not knowing what feelings she has for you at all time? What about you? Maybe she wanted to make sure that you loved her really, and you just prooved her that you didnt...congra!
So get on that phone again and say sorry and tell her you lied about having dates and just go to see her ASAP no matter what and talk to her face to face, instead to hide behind the safety of a phone to shot her in the heart like that!.
Come on, what are you doing reading this, take that phone and call her! If you dont do this and overcome your fears and pride now, you will never learn to love, true love.
Your pride has been hindering you from doing what your heart wanted, what you wanted most, and thats why you ended up here asking stranger for help. But all along the answer was in you, you knew you had to be with her again and that she wanted it too..
So no more screwing it up, and do the right thing now...

Good luck with it, now it is you who have tortured the other by your mistakes and error of judgement. You were harsh at judging her for doing it to you, now that you are in her sit, what would you do? Would you be that easy at doing what must be done, as you were a few days ago when judging her actions? Or would you be just like her and attempting small confusing steps?
You are breaking up a relationship that you want to keep, out of pride... How stupid, dont you think?
Be with her, talk things over, ask her what started it up and why, maybe she dont know it herself anymore, she just wasnt sure.
You are making a big deal out of nothing.
Maybe you aint ready for love, and thats why this happened, it is you who only want it when it is smooth and easy, and who run and hide at the least bump on the road...
Show me some courage here, some real love feelings, win her back, and for that you just have to make that call. If you cant summon the courage to do it, then it must be because you never loved her...or love your pride higher..

One more thing; text is nice but if you can't pick up a phone and call one then why even bother. I have all the updated tech. but there is nothing better than the old face to face. Just my view on text. Don't hide behind a text stand up and communicate with feeling. Usually if the person has feelings or cares for one then you can see that in their eyes.