Best T-Shirts Of The Summer

This was in the "Bob Levey's Washington" column in the Washington Post.
Every year he compiles and prints the "Best T-shirts of the Summer":

1) (around a picture of dandelions) I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won
2) So Few Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me
3) I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy
4) God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends
5) If They Don't Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain't Going
6) At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All... I Just
Can't
Remember It All
7) My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips
8) I Just Do What The Voices Inside My Head Tell Me To Do
9) (Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah
10) If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them?
11) Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount
12) Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog
13) No, It Doesn't Hurt (on a "well-tattooed gentleman")
14) (on the back of a passing motorcyclist) If You Can Read This, the
Bitch Fell Off
15) I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now
16) (Over the outline of the state of Minnesota) My Governor Can Beat Up
Your Governor
17) Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping.
18) What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About
19) I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian
20) (on the Front) Yale Is Just One Big Party (on the back) With a
$25,000 Cover Charge
21) Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich
22) Liberal Arts Major...Will Think For Money
23) Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional
24) IRS-Be Audit You Can Be
25) Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law.
26) If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In the Kitchen
27) Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship
28) The Old Pro...Often Wrong but Never Uncertain
29) If At First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't For You
30) Old Age Comes at a Bad Time
31) In America, Anyone Can Be President. That's One of the Risks You
Take.
32) First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order.