What’s in a Name

I think made up names for fictional characters has ruined what I can consider an actual name for an actual person.

I’ve already named a character of mine “Litchi” after the BlazBlu character thinking it was a real name, but apparently, it isn’t. I even looked it up. Though I suppose with names like Matchu and Jamjars, “Litchi” doesn’t seem too out of place, right?

It’s kind of funny for me to think about when someone takes a word like “Crash” or “Knuckles” or “Goofy” with normal every day meaning, and applies them to a character who becomes incredibly popular, and suddenly it’s not a word anymore. It’s a name. Like, take Sonic for instance. “Sonic” used to be a word, but is now primarily used to describe a speedy cobalt blue Hedgehog. Can you imagine, like, 20 or 30 years from now , when the DeviantART fan-character generators are having kids, suddenly there will be a barrage of kids named Sonic?

“Oh, you’ll have to take that to Sonic from accounting”
“If you want I can get my friend Sonic to detail your car for like 20 bucks”
“To his son, Sonic, he leaves 4,000 dollars out of his fortune”
“My name is Professor Sonic Johnson, welcome to AP Calculus.”

Meanwhile, we have real names that at one point were perfectly respectable that got ruined by a fictional character. Like Mario, Luke, Donald, Sylvester, Kermit, Homer, Marge, you name it. You’ll never meet a guy named Ash again in your life all thanks to the fact no parent wants to be the asshole who supposedly named their kid after the Pokemon Trainer and risk letting the poor bastard get picked on. It’s truly hilarious. If my comic ever hits it off, I’m gonna feel bad for anyone named Amber.

Then you got people DELIBERATELY naming kids after the most ridiculous possible characters. How many times has “Man Names Newborn Child Optimus Prime” come up in the news? How many years from now do you think we’ll be seeing children in our schools named “Twilight Sparkle” or “Fluttershy”?

Names are truly important, it’s practically a person’s identity in a couple of sounds that they’ll carry with them for the rest of their life. And yet you can name your offspring whatever the hell you want. There are no laws about that sort of thing. Wanna name your kid “Pthsintoghitink”? Go right ahead, dude!

One Comment

Well, one thing’s for sure: no matter what you name your kids in the future, be it after a fat mustachio’d plumber with expensive games, a lavender cash cow of a pony, or what have you, it will never, EVER be as bad as the kid who was named “Adolf Hitler” by his parents.