“I have posted this on a number of different forums, to receive the greatest amount of feedback possible. In most cases the post has been censored/deleted.

Why I Masturbate my Son

I am a single father of a twenty one year old son named Mustafa who suffers from severe cerebral palsy. I have since the birth of Mustafa been intricately involved in his care and upbringing. Although Mustafa is seriously debilitated by his condition and faces enormous challenges in his life I have through a daily ritual of dedication, love, care and with abundance of patience been able to provide an environment of happiness and comfort, equal to that of any normal child.

Recently, I have been inspired by the revelation of baby Ashley X whose parents decided to stunt her growth in order to make her more manageable to handle. The dedication of Ashley X’s parents allowed me to come on air on a national radio station, Radio 702, to disclose a more controversial aspect of my son’s care.

My closeness to my son as well as my philosophy of life (secular humanism) and together with a reasonable understanding of what constitutes a healthy human being has allowed me to provide not only the wellbeing of my son physically and emotionally but sexually as well. I came to realise a few years ago that my son underwent the stage of puberty like all normal children and had sexual desires similar to all normal boys of his age. It came naturally in the development and care of my son to MASTURBATE him in order to relieve his sexual desires.

Masturbation is well documented as medically proven for the well being, physically and emotionally of every human being. It is a natural development for all human beings to indulge in from the onset of puberty. Masturbation gives great pleasure and relieves sexual tension. After masturbating him my son would express his pleasure and relief as all normal teenagers do. I doubt that any human being does not engage in masturbation at some stage in his or her life but if any person takes a conscientious decision not to masturbate it indicates a psychological problem on the part of the person and not with the act of masturbation.

The reason for my disclosure was twofold:
1. To allow other parents of severely handicapped teenagers who may be in a similar position and predicament to the situation that I faced to be able to explore an additional option in fulfilling the sexual desires of these teenagers.
2. To expose how the medical and health care workers of physiotherapist and psychologist have ignored or treated the subject of sexual feelings of cerebral teenage children as some sort of taboo subject not to be discussed at all.

I would like to emphasise that I am not advocating that teenage girls be masturbated as I am not familiar with female physiology, nor am I advocating that health care workers start masturbating teenagers under their care. I understand that this is illegal and will open up a new avenue of abuse. However, I am advocating that the medical fraternity start debating and exploring how to address this sensitive issue.

Since my revelation of masturbating my son I have been shunned by almost all the media in country. The blog that I have been using locally and in the USA has been censored and blocked. The medical fraternity taking care of the development of child health and welfare refuses to see me and discuss the issue.

There is a deafening silence by both the media and citizens of my country in addressing a very important health issue of children like my son who not only has to face his internal physical difficulties but also the prejudices of society.”

baldronsaid,

Well I applaud you for what you have done. It takes a strong individual to go against the grain of society on national news. I personally think you are doing a great thing for your son. I know that if I was unable to masturbate myself I would be greatly appreciative for someone like you to do it for me. I agree with the idea that masturbation is a natural for of stress relief, and sexual development. So I say forget about all of the people who are going against you, and do what you think is best for your son.

I would also like to add in the problem of circumcision. The question is if it is better to circumcise your son or not. It is believed to be healthier for the child, but I don’t think this is the truth. During the Victorian age sex was being turned into a taboo thing to discuss outside of the bedroom, and young boys playing with them selves became a sin. They found that circumcised children masturbate less (reason being is that the same nerves that are in a women’s clitoris is in the man’s foreskin and when you take it away it becomes less pleasurable. In some middle eastern countries they don’t circumcise the men, but they do cut off the women’s clitoris.) and thus it became the norm to circumcise your son.

dr. hurrsaid,

I’m a bit suspicious here. I don’t see anyone who does not masturbate, for whatever reason, to be in a “predicament.” And I certainly don’t believe the claim that “masturbation is well documented as medically proven for the well being, physically and emotionally of every human being” rises to the degree of necessity, which I assume is what you mean to imply here. So, I would very much like to see this medical documentation of yours stating that masturbation is necessary for the well being of humans.

Your other claim for sharing your masturbation also rings a bit hollow. If this post is an example of how you expose the ignorance of health care givers to the sexual feelings of the cerebrally handicapped, you have certainly failed. Mere assertion is hardly an expose’.

Also, if you advocate masturbating handicapped males why would you not advocate masturbating handicapped females? Don’t they have sexual desires? Of course they do, and using the excuse that you’re not familiar with their physiology hardly holds water. I think there may be more going on here, Geek, than you would like us to consider. For the moment though, I’ll simply consider it a matter of misguideed concern.

bensaid,

To the original poster, this is clearly immoral on the grounds that your son is incapable of giving consent. Isn’t possible your son feels violated, or is uncomfortable with what is going on, but is unable to express his feels because of his condition?

You are committing both incest and rape.

I sincerely hope that you don’t get off on masturbating your son or have rationalized your actions under the pretext that your “helping him”.

dr. hurrsaid,

frostsaid,

Sexual activity between two people. Sorry, its not masturbation, just acts like it. Besides… this isn’t a mutual thing.

This is:
A handjob or hand job is a slang term referring to the sexual stimulation of a partner’s penis using the hands and fingers.[1]
It is a form of outercourse or non-penetrative sex and, not involving the exchange of bodily fluids, is a type of safer sex.

dr. hurrsaid,

And why do you think the author of the quote used the qualifier “simple” when he spoke of mutual masturbation resembling the other kind? He didn’t say it resembled “masturbation,” he said it resembled “simple masturbation,” indicating this type of activity was a variant of masturbation. If personal masturbation was the only legitimate form of masturbation there would be no need to qualify the term. He would only need to say, “The techniques of mutual masturbation resemble those of masturbation . . . .”
So the author obviously recognizes at least two forms of masturbation, simple and mutual. And he’s not the only one. Take a quick skip through the web and see what the experts have to say.

ejbannsaid,

IF your son had real sexual drives, than some other women would have been willed or compelled to do the same “job” your doing, maybe you have some deep seeded need to give hand jobs, If you don’t, then you better stop immediately. unless of course your like those hairy people on Mori, then it’s probably ok, you may or may not be a women, who knows, I don’t shave, I just floss, And brush my teeth when needed.

frostsaid,

geniussaid,

For fear of looking like an ass, I researched the symptoms and affects of cerebral palsy (CP). I found that in very severe cases the diagnosed may have little or no ability to control tongue, throat, or mouth muscles and therefore wouldn’t be able to speak NORMALLY. It didn’t say anything, however, about not being able to express oneself through grunts and other noise-making gestures. After establishing that, it would be rather apparent to Geek, after having lived with and cared for his son for twenty-one years, whether his son is in approval or not.

I believe that masturbation does relieve stress, and although it can’t be said to be true for ALL humans, I’m sure most of you can appreciate the lack of stress you experience after masturbating.

The morality of the issue can really go either way, depending on the individual. By definition, the act committed by Geek is without a doubt incest.

as “Any overtly sexual act between people who are closely related or who perceive themselves as being closely related (as in relationship between in-laws, stepsiblings and stepparents, and close family friends). In addition to physical sexual contact this can include voyeurism, masturbation in front of the child, suggestive talk, provocative photography, exposing oneself to the child, etc. …”

The question it raises, obviously, would be whether Geek is doing this out of true love for his son or if he is doing it at all for himself. It’s an extremely sensitive issue, and to go on your first impression of it being immoral simply because it’s unusual is not fair. There are exceptions to many laws with regard to handicap people. Why shouldn’t there be one on a more personal level?

red dragonsaid,

I’m surprised no one has mentioned Joycelyn Elders, the former Surgeon General of the United States. Now, I can’t say that she’d necessarily agree with the father in this situation. However, her work in public health is worth mentioning since the members here are in disagreement as to the basic requirement of sex. In an ironic twist I couldn’t even make up, she was asked to resign by Bill Clinton over her open advocacy of masturbation as a necessary and safe alternative to unwanted pregnancies and STDs, saying that it “should be taught.” (In light of all that, masturbation could have saved him an impeachment.) From my recollection, she stood her ground, citing numerous cases where ACTUAL pro-masturbation evidence was avoided or ignored in favor of the ANTI-sex movement propaganda that has undermined sensible sexuality.

Good research in this field has yet to happen to my knowledge. This is not to mention that any of us would have a problem with the federal government using tax dollars to fund the end-all, be-all study on jerking off–it just proves that there isn’t really any good (I would say ‘hard’ but it’s too easy) research to refute her. I could segue into the Victorians and the topic of circumcision here, but maybe we should start another thread for that one!

So, I see two questions here. The first, is masturbation necessary for optimal human development? The second, are any of us open-minded enough to see through the prurient aspect of this man masturbating his son in order to respect or reject based solely on his handicapped son’s needs? I think a quite a few posters in this area let their own taboos show when they reject it instantly. I maybe didn’t read that carefully, but are we dean-on in assuming that the man and his son cannot communicate at all? We would perhaps be wrong in assuming that it is “rape” if that is the case. I’d like to see through the emotionally charged language of that member into what’s really eating away. We may never know if this act is necessary or if it is consensual if we reject it so easily and strongly. If it is any other aspect of the son’s care, we’d all say, “What a selfless man.” The instant it involves sexuality, it is considered wrong (by many–in all fairness).

As to those who claim they don’t masturbate or “now that they have a girlfriend” have changed… I guess I haven’t been in the situation where I couldn’t take care of my own needs when wanted. It’s easy to say something isn’t necessary if you have 24 hour access! I would hate to think that I could be unable to take care of my own business and that law and so-called morality forbade me asking a loved one to do it for me.

And then there has been one other member who commented on ladies who would be willing to take care of it for him. I read that this indicates that it is preferable to hire a stranger, than to have a close loved one deal with it as his caregiver. That makes about as much sense to me as holding the National Conference on Hand Jobs at taxpayers’ expense (see above).

So, in response to Baldrun’s comment that masturbation is socially acceptable, just ask Dr. Elders about that! She no longer has her job over it, but we are certainly no closer to knowing if it is helpful or harmful.

ben hoskinssaid,

The accusation that this man has raped his son seems a little ridiculous to me. Am I alone in thinking that the classic criteria for something to be classified as rape should be modified. I think something is only rape if it is a sexual act without consent where consent is possible. For example I don’t think that bestiality is necessarily rape since animals are not capable of consenting to sex, even with each other. This obviously would not make bestiality moral – there might be other relevant considerations (caused harm being the most obvious one). An even clearer example is that of having “sex” with a dildo or fleshlight or something – could it really be claimed that rape was going on here?

ben hoskinssaid,

Interestingly there is no consensus on when sexual adulthood begins, and when therefore a child is said to be ‘capable’ of consenting to sex. In some countries it is 14, in the UK until the 19th century there was no age limit (it is currently 16). This law was only changed to stop child prostitution, not to prevent sex with children per se. I think that it is very hard to say that a child of any age above say 10 or 12 (when puberty can begin in girls) is actually incapable of consent, although obviously in most cases there will not actually be consent. It should be noted that there are occasionally cases where a child of 10 or 12 has raped another child of the same age or younger – can it then be said that this child (if not the other) is incapable of consent? Most cases where an adult has sex with a child there has clearly not been consent, but it remains rape precisely because consent was possible.
In the case of children under 10 that are genuinely incapable of understanding sex and therefore incapable of consent, I think this should indeed not be called ‘rape’ in line with my views on bestiality etc., but should instead is just general child abuse – I have never really understood why two fifteen year old kids could have consensual sex and it be labelled mutual ‘statutory rape’ even though it is obvious to all concerned that no real rape has taken place.