Reliable Remedies For 50 Common Relationship Pet Peeves

Common pet peeves and their impact on marriages and relationships

Relationships are fertile breeding grounds for pet peeves to develop. While we learn to tolerate some of our partners’ annoying habits, others can become even more irritating over time. Once pet peeves begin to accumulate, they can be highly damaging to a couples’ emotional bond. In some cases, pet peeves can make one member of the couple feel emotionally allergic to the other, hastening the demise of the entire relationship.

50 Shades of Pet Peeves: How I Came Up with the List

I spent a month listing the pet peeves my patients mentioned most often, hoping to end up with a list of twenty-five. I reached fifty before the end of week three (albeit some people did contribute several examples). The list is comprehensive but it should be considered anecdotal, not scientific.

Following the list I present 10 tips for surviving and discussing pet peeves with your partner.

The List of 50 Pet Peeves: Both Regular and Extra Annoying Versions

1. Toilet seat not ready for landing, i.e., left up (read more here).

Extra annoying—leaving golden droplets on the floor as well.

2. Driven to distraction by electronic devices (read more here)

Extra annoying—being so absorbed as to not answer when spoken to.

3. Disguising empty cartons as full by returning them to the fridge

Extra annoying—you had asked them to get some and they forgot.

4. Clothing abandonment, mostly all over the bedroom floor.

Extra annoying—leaving them in a passageway or on stairs

5. Waterboarding towels by leaving them wet on the floor.

Extra annoying—running out of clean towels and using yours.

6. Whistling up a headache for the other person.

Extra annoying—whistling a song they know you hate.

7. Joke reruns by repeating the same few jokes over and over again.

Extra annoying—looking at you expecting you to laugh.

8. Trashing the car by leaving trash in it.

Extra annoying—doing it right after the car was cleaned

9. Fingernail and cuticle buffet, by endlessly biting them.

Extra annoying—leaving the droppings on the living room table.

10. Toilet roll sabotage by not replacing it when it’s empty.

Extra annoying—when the spare roll is in a different room.

11. Refusing to ask for directions or use the GPS.

Extra annoying—you’re already late or lost.

12. Rude awakenings by making noise when you’re still sleeping.

Extra annoying—they hate being woken up themselves.

13. Midnight sofa squatting by falling asleep on the couch and refusing to go to bed.

Extra annoying—getting really annoyed if you try to wake them.

14. Key relocation program by not returning shared keys to their correct place.

Extra annoying—blaming you for losing them.

15. Chewing like a farm animal and other bad table manners.

Extra annoying—No effort made when dining with your boss or parents.

16. Parking space hogging by occupying both spots in a two car garage or on in parking lots.

Extra annoying—tossing you the keys so you can move their car when you complain.

17. Chronic lateness.

Extra annoying—missing flights, shows, or events because of it.

18. Confusing shower with toilet by urinating or blowing their nose in the wrong one.

Extra annoying—doing it when you’re in the bathroom too.

19. Nocturnal blanket or comforter theft.

Extra annoying—getting angry when you try to wrestle back a corner for yourself.

20. Toothpaste tube vandalism by squeezing from the middle not the end.

Guy Winch, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist, keynote speaker, and author whose books have already been translated into thirteen languages. His most recent book is Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries (Hudson Street Press, 2013). The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way to Get Results, Improve Your Relationships and Enhance Self-Esteem (Walker & Company) was published in January 2011.
Dr. Winch received his doctorate in clinical psychology from New York University in 1991 and completed a postdoctoral fellowship in family and couples therapy at NYU Medical Center. He has been working with individuals, couples and families in his private practice in Manhattan, since 1992. He is a member of the American Psychological Association.
In addition to the Blog on this site, Dr. Winch also writes the popular Squeaky Wheel Blog on Psychology Today.com, and blogs for Huffington Post.