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The Day My Runny Nose Ran Away – Jason Eaton

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Perhaps you have a cold, as many of us do. You may wish you could just take your nose off altogether, rather than having to deal with it any further. But be careful – you could end up “facing” the same situation as Jason does in this hysterical children’s picture book, “The Day My Runny Nose Ran Away.”

One morning, Jason wakes up to find the following note on his pillow:

“Dear Jason,

Last night your mother told you not to wipe your nose on your sleeve. But did you listen? No! You wiped me up and down your lousy sleeve and then blew me on some scratchy paper towels. Well, that was the last straw. You squish me up against windows. You cover the rest of your body in winter but leave me to freeze. You never introduce me to your friends. Why, you’ve never even taken the time to ask me what my name is! This situation just isn’t working for me. I need more. You’re a good kid, but I’d prefer we just be friends.

Yours Truly,

Montague (your nose)

P.S. I’ll send you a postcard.”

Jason’s nose was really, truly gone.

He tied a scarf around his head, hoping his mother wouldn’t notice, but she did, and she knew right away what had happened, and she wasn’t very happy about it.

Jason went to school and tried to concentrate on his math, but his glasses kept slipping off because his nose wasn’t there to hold them up, and the other children kept turning around to stare. And then – he sneezed, and his whole face turned in on itself.

No one seemed to understand, until Jason got home and talked things over with his grandfather. It seems that his grandfather had also had nose troubles as a boy. He was always sticking his nose in other people’s business, and one day, it got stuck in a neighbor’s business and he left it there. He went back to get it and it was gone. He had to travel all the way to Nose Island to get it back.

This gave Jason an idea. He would go to Nose Island too.

He packed a few necessities and climbed up on his roof, waiting for the Ship of Lost Things to come sailing by. Sure enough, right at sunset, a huge ship appeared and Jason flagged it down. The cargo was a strange collection of things people had lost. Patience, marbles, baby teeth – you name it, it was on that boat. The strangest thing of all – the Captain of the ship had lost his own nose, and was wearing one made of wood.

When Jason reached Nose Island, he made himself a disguise and began to search for his nose. There were noses of every shape and size! When he finally did see his nose, he was astounded to find that his nose had been made King of Nose Island, and sat high on a throne.

Still in disguise, Jason listened as his own nose, the King, outlined a plan to take over the world, led by noses! Jason couldn’t bear it anymore and spoke up, asking, “How can you do this?”

A million noses looked at me. Slowly and carefully, my former nose spoke. “Why, my dear Jason,” he said, “It’s really quite simple. On the face of every man, woman and child is one of our soldiers, just waiting for the word to rebel. You always thought it was you who carried us around. Untrue. It is we who have been leading you!”

Jason’s nose then explained that he had no need to ever return. He had everything he could ever want, including a wife and two little schnozzes of his own. He issued an order for Jason to be seized, but Jason, using his wits, managed to escape.

It wouldn’t be fair for me to give away the remainder of the plot. We’ll suffice it to say that a nose determined is a nose best treated nicely. This book is a laugh-out-loud funny read that you’ll enjoy sharing with your child time and time again.

(This book was published by Dutton Books in 2002, and was illustrated by Ethan Long.)