“Abbott and Hockey have lately been talking a lot about the need to “future proof” Australia against economic shocks. But the time for future proofing was in the past, when Australia had the money to put into it.”

1. Flight 9525, which crashed killing all on board on March 24, was operated by which budget airline?

Germanwings.

2. Who composed the opera Rigoletto?

Giuseppe Verdi.

3. Who played the title role in the 2002 film Secretary?

Maggie Gyllenhaal.

4. The flag of which Scandinavian country is a blue cross on a white background?

Finland.

5. On the periodic table, what does S represent?

Sulfur.

6. Are tempranillo grapes used to make red or white wine?

Red wine.

7. Leo Fender is famous for making what type of musical instruments?

Guitars.

8. Physicist and chemist Marie Curie was born in what country?

Poland.

9. Who won the 100 metres men’s freestyle at the Australian Swimming Championships this month? (Bonus point for naming who won the 100 metres women’s freestyle event.)

Cameron McEvoy. (Bonus point: Cate Campbell.)

10. The sum of the interior angles for any triangle always adds up to…?

180 degrees.

Quotes

ANIMALS

“Crocodile has been removed from all menus at Palmer properties following today’s incident with a member of our Port Douglas golf course.”

– Clive PalmerThe parliamentarian moves to address a crocodile attack at his resort. Presumably he removed all the bricks from his home after Glenn Lazarus turned on him.

LAW

“Running around the streets of Byron Bay with no clothes on, I don’t know why you would want a kebab at that time.”

– Christopher O’BrienThe NSW deputy chief magistrate asks the serious questions of a law student arrested for public indecency in northern NSW. A conviction was not recorded.

WAR

“I’m not going to go into operational matters.”

– Kevin AndrewsThe defence minister appears unable to name the leader of the Islamic State during an interview with Leigh Sales. The answer is Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. Some things you can’t learn at marriage counselling.

POETRY

“A mother’s love may be as great/ As any new vaccine.”

– Michael LeunigThe cartoonist proves he understands as much about medicine as he does about wit. If only the World Health Organisation would realise polio is no match for the whimsy of a ill-drawn duck.

POLITICS

“I honestly never ask, ‘How can I change myself to be more appealing to people?’ ”

– Malcolm TurnbullThe “primed minister” tells men’s magazine GQ about how he gets up in the morning, for a cover story on the subject of naked ambition and his own perfectness.

– Karl KruszelnickiThe ABC science commentator explains why he is like a frog in bad shirts and the Intergenerational Report he agreed to promote before realising it contained no serious mention of climate change is like a scorpion. Obviously.