"It was easy to read the message in his entrails. Man was matter, that was Snowden's secret. Drop him out a window and he'll fall. Set fire to him and he'll burn. Bury him and he'll rot, like other kinds of garbage." -Joseph Heller

Seeing as this is diplo, perhaps I should be offering deals -- what would it take to get you to join? Want me to join your variant? Fill in orders while you're on vacation? Whatever, I'll do it if you'll join (provided it's 1) legal, and 2) won't get me banned from the site, 3) is not blatantly unreasonable).