You never know when you’ll see one next or where one will pop up. They sprout randomly like mushrooms and for the most part, are just as useful and tasteless. You may catch a glimpse of a member of the Bemused Utterly Repugnant Nation Of Useless Tainted Souls™ hitchhiking on the side of the road. You may see one urinating on the side of the road. You may even see one hitchhiking and urinating on the side of the road. But more times than not, you’ll see one being beaten by the police on the side of the road.

During the day, B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. like to frequent public bathrooms and donut shops - the same places as the cops who beat the shit out of them on the sides of the road frequent. Donut shops are a neutral zone, a place where the fox and the sheepdog take a timeout and even discuss sports together. Bus stops are a good bet. But there you are limiting yourself to one or two on a good day as the Bemused Utterly Repugnant Nation Of Useless Tainted Souls™ can rarely afford bus fare. If you’re lucky, you might see one in a neon colored reflective vest stabbing fresh trash along side the interstate. If you’re unlucky, you may find one when you come home befriending or dating your child. It all depends upon the degree of unlucky that you are. Really, really unlucky people have seen some B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. driving away in their automobiles. HOwever, if you’re a night owl with a little time to kill; your best bet is at night after the nine o’clock hour and before four o’clock in the a.m., preferably in parks or vacant parking lots.