Sorry for not posting earlier, but what with PMQs, the post-match analysis with Iain Dale and then lunch with same, it’s been crazy! Iain was very good company and had tons of very interesting and funny anecdotes, none of which I can use here, sadly (just as he can’t use any of mine – you hear that, Dale?).

Then an odd thing happened. I was half way through my chicken caesar salad when suddenly the lights started to flicker, dark clouds obscured the sun, a wind started howling through the restaurant, a black crow squawked and flew into the air and a young baby started crying. For none other than Paul Staines (aka Guido Fawkes) had entered the restaurant. “Don’t look into his eyes!” I whispered urgently to Iain as he rose to say hello. But it was too late…