This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

God's plans

I believe that When God closes a door, he opens a window, but there are so many openings and closings going on right now it's making my head spin!

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long atthe closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."Helen Keller US blind & deaf educator (1880 - 1968)

Sure wish God would give me an outline of his plan for us. Would make my life soooo much easier.

At work, we've known we need a sales person for quite awhile. It's been putting a strain on our relationship that Hubby wants me to do it, and I won't/can't. He's taken it on himself, but he's not great at it and it's just one more thing he doesn't have time for.

We have been talking to a guy in Michigan for awhile about a future position with our company. He finally told us he had to have a committment. We were about to tell him that it wasn't an option because we weren't ready when he happened to mention that the other job he was considering was a sales position! Because he works for he auto industry his interview travel fees, relocation fees, and HALF HIS SALARY FOR THE FIRST SIX MONTHS would be paid for by this program. We still couldn't justify bringing in a new designer, but if he could do sales as well?! That made him practically perfect. He could sell for us until we had enough business to shift him full-time to the design position he wanted, and we would be getting him for half price (which in today's economy was still more than we could afford, but better than full price).

We assumed God was watching out for us and had given us the perfect employee. So we said come on down for an "interview" and we'll give you job training so you can start work immediately while you wait to close on your house. The cool thing about our business is that it's mostly virtual so as long as you have a phone and a computer... you're set. When the guy got here, we discovered he's a great designer, but a total introvert, so when it comes to sales he was not going to be great. Still we really liked him and he was highly motivated to move here and work for us (we're great people!)

Two doors down from our new office, there is a human resource company (that among other things has a matching program filling positions for all types of jobs), and we'd mentioned to them awhile back that we were looking for a new sales guy. This week the company had decided to drop the matching program, so when a potential sales guy walked in they mentioned we were looking (yea! No finder's fee for us). He dropped by the office, and we interviewed him and REALLY liked him.

The next morning we found out that the designer had been offered more money than we could offer for a design (only) position - no dreaded sales. In today's economy he felt he had to take it, but he did feel really torn because he wanted to work for us. He very sweetly gave us several referrals to potential clients and permission to use his name. So we assumed this was part of God's plan for us/him, and we had the potential new sales guy so all was well.

Offered the sales guy a position. He LOVED us, really wanted to work with us, but got an offer he couldn't refuse from a former employer. He's actually used his many contacts to place an ad for a new salesperson for us on multiple sites at no cost to us, which has brought in a flood of applicants. So, moving on.

We're continuing to do sales on our own, and it seems to be working well - we've got several hot prospects. Now all we have to do is close some deals.

I do have to say I'm assuming that like in all other areas of my life that God has plans for me, and wants what is best for me. I'm growing in faith more, and I understand that when I pray sometimes the answer is, "No." When I look back at some of the disappointments and hard stuff I realize it worked out for the best, or made me stronger so I could handle the next step. Sometimes I wish God didn't have as much faith in my strength.

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About Me

I'm the admin for a large, international support group on Face Book called Parenting Attachment Challenged Children. I have a Masters degree in Social Work, a bachelors in Psychology with a focus on child abuse and neglect, and over 30 years of experience working with children and families, in particular those with special needs
Hubby and I adopted special needs teenage siblings in 2008 - a son, (Bear, age 24) and daughter, (Kitty, age 22). Both are diagnosed with RAD, Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorder, C-PTSD, brain injuries... and many other diagnoses. We also have two younger bio children, a daughter, (Bob - see the post "What about Bob" if you're dying to know how she got her nickname -age 20) and a son, (Ponito, 18).
I love to help, and I hope my blog provides resources and support for parents struggling with children with attachment and trauma challenges.

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Books, Methods, and Resources Review

BOOKS, METHODS, AND RESOURCES REVIEW

This is a "living anecdotal document" reviewing books and methods specific to the many issues in parenting children of trauma that I have come across over the years. I share it with you, because I wish I'd been able to find resources when we started this process. Please let me know if you have any suggestions, comments, or additions!**********************************INTRODUCTION - Books, Methods, and Resources Review