Longtime readers know of our affection for minor-league promotions, including our favorite, the Charleston (S.C.) RiverDogs, which planned to give out free vasectomies on Father's Day (until the Catholic Church complained).

Today's grotesque one comes from the Milwaukee Admirals, the minor league hockey affiliate of the Nashville Predators. They gave away a trip to Las Vegas and free laser hair removal treatment to the guy with the hairiest back. You what's scary? One of these guys didn't win.