Robin Skone Palmer

Robin Skone Palmer

Holy cats, Batman — it’s SPAM!

Yes, indeed, it’s the real thing. You can put it on toast or a burger bun or even on a bagel — but it doesn’t belong on the internet.

Yes, it’s here — Spam. Spam for you and for me. I don’t know that I’ve ever eaten Spam, although I know a lot of people love it. But nobody loves the kind that shows up on your computer. I was whining about the stuff I get to Diane, my friend and fellow-blogger from Oregon (http://www.postcardfromtheroad.com). She is actually a photographer who writes compelling stories with beautiful pictures about her road trips in the Northwest. I swear, one of these days I’m going there just to see if it’s really as fascinating as she makes it look — but I digress. After she listened to me whine for awhile, she said, “Why don’t you do a blog about it?” Good idea.

So I’ve been looking at the variety of stuff that lands in my spam folder. I try to check every few days in case something legit ends up there, but the latest group had nothing for me. Not even anything from that Nigerian prince. Well, how long did I expect the guy to wait for an answer? He’s probably found someone more than happy to help him and his family move his millions to a safe bank account in the United States. I wonder — could he have been legitimate? I’ll never know.

But, to compensate, the postmaster (of what I don’t know because he seems to have a lot of irons in the fire) has informed me that I can earn a degree on-line, that I need to be aware of changes in the price of Medicare prescriptions, that I can enhance the size of my … oh, well, never mind.

It seems there is also an opportunity to make $1,500 a week. YES, a week! I’m betting I can do this working from home, perhaps addressing envelopes (is that one still going around?) Oooh, and here is one all in German. I’ll be sure to click on that.

Moving right along … I can check my credit score for free (wow — I didn’t know that. I wonder why they don’t advertise that on television. Oh, wait. Wouldn’t that be the commercial you see every 15 minutes?) Here is one that simply says “to find out more …” yeah, I’m gonna open that attachment, you betcha. Or how about this — a pill that will make my brain incredibly more powerful. Wait, didn’t they just do a television show about that? And didn’t the guy’s brain implode and leave him a vegetable? Or was that wishful thinking?

so many questions!

This one’s intriguing: it simply says “fill in the attached registration form.” What one is registering for is a mystery. Do you think it could be the Magical Mysery Tour? We never did find out what that was all about, did we? At least I didn’t. Perhaps I didn’t ingest enough of the magic mushrooms.

Ooh, lookie — there are Russian women anxious to meet me. Really? Russian women? Why? And why would I want to meet a woman from Russia? I mean, I barely know my next door neighbors. Surely I should get to know the people on my own street before I start reaching out to people on the other side of the world, you think? Russian women. Huh.

Oh, wait, here’s one from me! It’s from me about my own blog. WHAT? My blog announcements are going into Spam? How humiliating. All this while I thought people were panting to see my next brilliant posting and turns out it might have been shuffled off to spam, just one step away from the trash can. (Sort of like Purgatory for e-mails). So if you never got this notification, be sure to let me know.

Comments

Hurray!!! You did it and it is brilliant! You are such a good writer and makes me smile or laugh out loud every time I read your posts. Plus, thank you for mentioning my own blog. Funny thing is that I have a can of Spam in my cupboard where it has rested for several years. Not even sure why I bought it but there it is. Maybe I’m afraid to open the can and see what may come out. You have given me the courage to do just that so I’ll let you know what happens.

Another entertaining column. I’ve actually eaten canned Spam sometime in the distant past and found it tasty. But what a bummer — finding your own blog promo shunted to your spam folder. Not so here. Yours show up plainly in the “new mail” basket.
Love,
Martin

Apparently my blogs and even some of my regular e-mails end up in some computer’s “promotions” folder, from where they are deleted if not quickly rescued. I prefer yours and mine where at least we get to choose.

So clever!! Yes I have missed many if your posts cuz they go to my promotions, aka advertising folder, from which I do mass deletions on a regular basis. Wish there was a way to direct the ones I want to see to my inbox.

Robin, do you remember when you asked what I remember about World War II? Well, Spam is one of those things. Fresh meat was hard to come by and probably rationed. I don’t remember that for sure. But, it seemed to me at least, that Spam was always there. Spam and eggs, Spam and cheese on a bun, Spam and spaghetti. Then, afterwards, it was still in the store but off our shopping list. A few years ago, I bought some just to see if it is as wonderful as I remember. I didn’t finish the first slice – should have been good since I fixed it the way a friend from Hawaii told me to. (It seems to be the preferred meat in Hawaii). But it was so greasy that I couldn’t stand it. Guess tastes have changed and I want lean meats.

Thank you for the dressing recipe. Will go shopping and pick up the ingredients I don’t have by the end of the week.

I know that in Hawaii Spam is very popular. It’s a shame you weren’t able to enjoy revisiting those childhood memories. Yeah, tastes change. And as for that peanut butter dressing, I hope you enjoy it as much the second time around. Thanks for commenting.