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November 12, 2008 at 2:04 am

Aleksey Vayner, Yale ’07, clearly has nefarious plans. I mean, this is the man who circulated an eleven-page CV around Wall Street, made a video resume of himself ballroom dancing and lifting weights (crotch-eye view!), “wrote” and “published” a book from the perspective of female Holocaust survivors, declared himself CEO of a suspiciously hard to track down company, and tragically lost his shot at a pro tennis career when his partner suffered a sprained wrist only moments before their first match at the US Open.

Aleksey Vayner is not, for example, the sort of guy you would expect to update his blog with pathetic little posts entitled “Best Way to Fight Fat!” Well, maybe. Like, if the best way to fight fat was to buy his nonexistent book, Millionaire’s Blueprint To Success.

But this?

Basically, if you are successful at losing weight, you’ll burn fewer calories per day then [sic.] someone of the same weight but who was not overweight and did not diet to shed pounds. This is one of many reasons you find it easier to gain weight (and then some) after you have just lost some weight.

Aleksey Vayner, is this who you really are? A guy who blogs about fitness? Please God, no.

We at IvyGate are hoping that Aleksey has an ulterior motive for filling his blog with posts more boring than our course readers. Because the other alternative is almost too frightening: Does Vayner think we care about bacteria that prevent cavities? Does he think he can redeem his epic douchebaggery and infamous megalomania with boring-ass blog posts? Has the man, the legend, the asshat known as Aleksey Vayner just…given up?

We never thought we’d say this, but Aleksey Vayner, you disappoint us.