Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Ok, here's the thing. Camping is one of my favorite things in the world. I love sleeping in fresh air and sleeping in. I love sitting around a campfire, drinking beer, making s'mores and laughing loudly with friends. I love reading in my tent and taking an afternoon nap. I love biking with my husband around the grounds. I love that it lets you be lazy for a weekend, save the setup, take down and laundry once home.

But let's think for a minute. All those things I love about camping? Aren't exactly the same with a baby. So, it still has it's fun parts. And I love sharing things I love with Meredith. But am I eagerly awaiting our next trip? Not exactly. Maybe if Meredith hadn't gotten up at 5 on Saturday and 4 on Sunday I'd feel differently. I'm not giving up but I'm glad the rest of our summer vacations involve houses.

8. Don't forget to pause and reflect on the mind-blowing, amazing way your life has changed 100% for the better this past year. Do hug your baby every chance you get. Do kiss your husband as often as possible. Do call your family and friends. Do take time to love yourself.

Linking up with Mama Kat today! I chose the prompt: Your Top Ten Summer Don'ts... except I just did 8 :)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Like thousands of women, I grew up watching Oprah. It seems like her voice was always filling the background of my afternoon play times. She was a constant. Once I got older and started college and then got married, I stopped watching her. Mostly because I was busy and interested in other things. A little bit because she kind of drives me crazy with her self-involved talk. And while I still struggle to see her as a fully genuine person, I really did want to tune into her final few shows.

And I'm glad I did. The words in her final show really struck me.

At one point she said, "You have the power to change somebody’s life, Everyone has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it."

My job right now is being a stay-at-home-mom. I'm not sure a day goes by that I don't feel conflicted about this. It's not that I don't want to be at home, because trust me I do. It's that I struggle to feel that it is enough. When I peacefully go to bed on a Sunday night, not dreading Monday, it makes me feel like my job isn't hard enough. When I catch a nap while Meredith sleeps, I feel lazy, sometimes even dragging myself up to do laundry or dishes so I don't feel guilty. When I hear about moms who are showered, dressed and out the door on their way to daycare by 7 am, I often feel less than.

But today while watching Oprah, I had one of her signature aha-moments as she spoke these words.

"You have the power to change somebody’s life, Everyone has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it."

Because not only is stay-at-home-mom my current occupation, it is also, without a doubt, my calling. When I cuddle in bed with Meredith in the morning, I know. When I watch her pick up her cut up grilled cheese sandwich with careful precision, I know. When I watch her wave and squawk at the big kids at the park, I know. When only I can calm her crying, I know. When she "helps" me fold the laundry, I know. I know that spending my days elbow deep in the sometimes mundane, often magical minutia of stay-at-home motherhood is, for now, what I am meant to be doing.

I know there is nothing worthier, nothing more important, nothing better I could be doing with my time. There is no job I would rather be doing. There is no job I could do better. Being a mother is my calling. At the moment I might be changing only one life, little Meredith's, but that is more than enough. And who knows how her life will one day change the world. Even if the only life she betters is her own daughter's one day, that too will be more than enough.

So, Oprah, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for restoring in me the confidence that what I am doing is worth something.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Do you guys watch The Good Wife? If you don't, you really should. It is absolutely my favorite show right now. If you do, how good was the season finale? I can't believe we have to wait until September for the next episode.

Now, if you aren't caught up on the show or you are planning starting the series, you should maybe not read the rest of this post. Spend that time ordering it on Netflix. I don't want to go spoiling anything for you.

And then, my mind went somewhere random(ish) with it. I won't have that new boy, butterflies in your stomach, burst with excitement with a simple brush of a hand again.

But then I stopped myself. I won't have that again with a new person, but I want to make sure Chris and I are always seeking to maintain the newness and excitement in our marriage that we had in our early years of dating. Being married doesn't (and shouldn't) mean the passion dies.

And then last night on the way to a birthday dinner I heard this song and it brought all my thoughts full circle.

pardon the weird video. just close your eyes or something :)

I feel this way about Chris after four years of marriage and I hope to feel it for many, many, many more.

We've been together since way back when
Sometimes I never want to see you again
But I want you to know, after all these years
You're still the one I want whisperin' in my ear

You're still the one -- I want to talk to in bed
Still the one -- that turns my head
We're still having fun, and you're still the one

I looked at your face every day
But I never saw it 'til I went away
When winter came, I just wanted to go (wanted to go)
Deep in the desert, I longed for the snow

You're still the one -- that makes me laugh
Still the one -- that's my better half
We're still having fun, and you're still the one
You're still the one -- that makes me strong
Still the one -- I want to take along
We're still having fun, and you're still the one (yes you are)

Changing, our love is going gold
Even though we grow old, it grows new

You're still the one -- that I love to touch
Still the one -- and I can't get enough
We're still having fun, and you're still the one

You're still the one -- who can scratch my itch
Still the one -- and I wouldn't switch
We're still having fun, and you're still the one
You are still the one -- that makes me shout
Still the one -- that I dream about
We're still having fun, and you're still the one
You're still the one, yeah still the one
We're still having fun, and you're still the one

What do you think about this? What do you and your significant other do to keep that butterfly feeling?

Monday, May 23, 2011

today was a super good day. it started off unusually nice. meredith didn't go to bed until after 10... she was playing the super cute card with the grandparents. she slept straight through until 7 which was great. and while i was assuming she was up for the day, she actually went back down for an hour+ nap. after that we headed to a really fun (and free!) sing-a-long. meredith loved it. she mostly loved seeing all the children. while we were singing and dancing she clapped for the first time. it was adorable. and now she can't get enough of the clapping. which i love.

after the music class we came home and she slept for two hours. seriously? two long naps in one day? hallelujah! i got to each lunch, tidy up, relax and get some bread going (more on that tomorrow!).

once she woke up we headed to target and home depot for some unexciting, but productive-feeling errands. then, we hurried home so i could watch oprah. it was great. but i just keep thinking- how will they outdo this for her funeral? that's a bit morbid, right?

so all in all, a good day. fun with my girl, time to myself and the feeling of being productive.

oh! and dancing with the stars and the bachelorette are on tonight! (what has my life come to?)

So, believe it or not, we did more than play with the Virtual Glasses ap this weekend. The highlight of my weekend was the Boston Bloggers Picnic put on by The Boston Day Book. While bloggy boot camp a couple weeks ago was fun, I didn't read any of the bloggers attending. So I learned some helpful tips, but I didn't walk away obsessed.

natalie, me, anna, rachael

Cue Saturday afternoon as I left the picnic on Cloud 9. Why? Because I got to meet some of my favorite bloggers, soak up the sun and drink the yummiest chocolate milk on the planet. As I sat on a blanket chatting with some bloggers I had an Oprah-aha, light bulb moment. This is why I blog. Yes, I blog to document Meredith's life, to capture the tiny beautiful moments in a string of potentially mundane ones. But what keeps me going? The community. People that connect with my daily experiences. People who tells stories that reflect what I am going through. People who face hardships with remarkable courage. It's because of these things that I love to blog.

I left the picnic Saturday so happy to have met in real life the people whose lives I get to peek into virtually everyday. I can't recommend enough trying to meet up with some of your favorite bloggers in your area!

And that's not all I did this weekend! Last night Chris and I went on a date. It was lovely. It had been over a month since we'd gone out just the two of us here in Boston. We got to go out twice in Georgia (thanks mom & dad!) but we also needed it here.

We started at Cambridge 1. Oh my yumminess. If you live near Boston, you gotta try their delicious pizza.

After dinner we spent a leisurely couple of hours sipping coffee, talking and playing Bananagrams in the new Harvard Sqaure Starbucks. I love date nights.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Dear readers, what are you up to today? We are enjoying a lazy day at home eating hot dogs and mac & cheese, playing with Meredith, listening to Adele and goofing around with the app that Chris bought called Virtual Glasses. It's stupid, ridiculous and so unnecessary that it is absolutely worth the 99 cents it will cost you.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Probably the best part of the trip was getting to introduce Meredith to some of the most important people in my life, people that have known me longer than anyone who lives near me in Boston. I wish we had gotten pictures with everyone, but here is a small sampling.

It's funny how at home I felt with various people I haven't actually lived near for nearly ten years. I found myself more at ease with people I never really considered best friends simply because they knew and loved me through many years and those awkward middle school years. There's something special about being around people who have known you from early in your life. It's not until I'm around those relationships that I realize how much I miss that up here. I'm so thankful I got a taste of it this past week.

A year ago my best friend had her first baby. Five weeks before Meredith was born. I was so excited for her I thought I'd burst. He was (and is) oh, so handsome. His birth made me so much more excited about Meredith's arrival. It feels like only yesterday I was walking into the hospital to meet him, joking with the nurses about how I'd be back for my own turn soon.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

One of the highlights of our trip was visiting my childhood home. I almost always go by when I'm in town. Something about seeing the home I lived in from age four to seventeen makes me feel happy and peaceful. It also brings back so many memories. Memories of Christmas mornings, birthday parties and sleepovers. Memories of fishing in our backyard creek, jumping on our trampoline, hunting for Easter eggs in the front yard and playing hide-and-seek in the house.

It was funny because the house is for sale. The sentimentalist inside me wanted to buy it right then and there. As we looked at the listing pictures, we saw the inside of house has changed quite a bit. It is no longer the home I grew up in. I guess it's true what they say. You can't go home again.

i have loved (almost) every minute of breastfeeding. the first few weeks hurt a bit and spraying milk every which way got old, but mostly it has been amazing.

i can't believe we're almost to the year mark. i'm not sure i thought it'd be so easy to breastfeed so long, but it certainly has been. more and more in the last few weeks, i'm starting to wonder is meredith is getting ready to wean. particularly during the day, she doesn't seem terribly interested in nursing, at least not for longer than a few minutes. she still nurses a good amount at bed time and in the morning.

so, i'm looking for advice. what exactly do i do? just follow her lead? only feed her when she's acting very interested? sometimes i worry she will be hungry and not really act like it. but maybe that's just silly? i want to hear your thoughts!

post-edit: of course after writing this yesterday, meredith spent the evening and this morning clawing at my shirt, leaving more confused about where she and nursing stand.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Back here in Boston, the weather feels more like March than May. While we were in Georgia, it felt more like August. On one of the hotter days, we ended up at Piedmont Park in downtown Atlanta. We picked up lunch from a super fun bakery called Alon's and found a shaded picnic area. After lunch, we strolled over to the playground. It only took a few minutes for all of us to be overheating, so we wrapped up at the playground, took some family photos and headed to air conditioned refuge.

Hi! I'm Beaktweets!

Most people call me Claire, though. Married to my best friend. Mama to two cuties. Loving life in the San Francisco Bay Area. Spend my days playing outside, baking, doing laundry and trying to time two naps perfectly so I can get one myself.