on being a twenty-something

I haven't taken time to really sit back and evaluate life lately. And I mean like current life. The life I'm living now. As a twenty-something.

I'd be lying to you if I said life is simple now. While aspects of it are, indeed, quite simple, other areas are complex. They're grey, while it feels everyone else is living in black and white. I have trouble defining what it is I want out of this life, of these years, but it seems many others aren't really ready or willing to question this. They're content to let it fly by as it is.

Maybe it's just not the person that I am. Or maybe people aren't willing to let themselves go down that path with others. Or maybe they're talking to everyone else but me. Maybe no one else thinks these weird thoughts I do. But for some reason, my life seems to be taking a different path from those around me. I feel like I've been bouncing around, unsettled, trying to find this place in my life where I can finally say, "Aaaah." You know?

It's nerve-wracking when it feels like a lot of other people are starting to settle.

But really, what the fuck am I doing?

It's the million dollar question lately. What am I doing with my life? What am I doing with my job? Am I developing a career? Do I even want a career? What the hell am I trying to do with myself?

Questions abound, but it seems few answers are on the horizon.

Perhaps I'm overthinking life. Maybe it's not really this complicated, and maybe I'm looking for answers that will come to me eventually. And maybe there's no set path on how life is supposed to go. Things don't have to happen in a certain order and you don't need to be so alarmed when things happen differently than they do for others.

And it's ok that I want different things. That I'm looking for change. That I'm just a little bit restless. Maybe even a lot bit. To me, that's what being a twenty-something is about.

7 comments:

I was nodding at everything you said here -- and agree with you 100%. I'm always asking myself what I'm doing and where I'm going and why I feel so restless when on paper it looks like my life is much more perfect!

Couldn't agree with these thoughts more! There's so much pressure to have it all figured out in your twenties, but to me its a time of exploration and development where you're leaving your college years and becoming an adult. It's a confusing, nerve-wracking time because there are so many decisions to be made. I think being in your twenties is all about self discovery and exploring what life has to offer, do that and things will work themselves out eventually. Love reading your blog.

Totally get it. I'm about to be 27, changed careers once, jobs like three times within the past three years, and still have no fucking idea what I'm doing. I just hope this new job keeps me happy for at least a couple of years...It's really, really scary. I'm scared to death I'll always have that feeling of never being completely happy with my job/life.

You nailed it chicky. I feel like I'm also being constantly torn between the two ideas of "You have to figure your shit out now" versus "You're young you have time!" But I think the confusion is what being a twenty-something is all about. And I don't blame you for being restless :)

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