After "Innocence" in Season 2. Regards Spike's feelings toward Angelus. Slash. Please feel free to post reviews whether they are complimentary or critical.

Spike can't stand Angelus. It's almost always been this way.

He watches. He watches him sway with Drusilla, tantalizing dances that put daggers in his heart every time the two so much as touch each other. He recalls the initial emotions he had when this first happened, nearly a century back; he scolds himself for feeling these emotions again.

He watches scarlet fingernails slither down Angelus' shoulder. He wishes he could be a replacement... no use thinking it. As long as he's bound to this wheelchair, he's bound to a world of isolation. He observes the two leave the mansion, and scurry off out before the sun rises, in search for dinner and infinite games of fun and he recollects times past when they did that together... nothing but fangs and blood and whiskey and joyous laughter.

He loathes Angelus. He hates the condescending talk, the ridicule, the way he treats him as if he's still a boy. Sometimes he wonders if that's the way he sees him. Angelus did teach him, after all. He taught him the pleasures one can find in a good riot and the immeasurable exhilaration in a good hunt. And that's how...

And that's how he knows why he's still around. Angelus could've easily killed Spike off – not like he could have put up much of a fight, what with the ineffective legs and all – and taken Dru back to Europe, wreak havoc all over again. But behind all the handicapped jokes and the slow torture he puts him through every second, Angelus cares – in the only way a non-ensouled demon can. The reason he didn't stake him when he had the chance lies within those brown eyes of his.

He likes the color brown, Spike reminds himself. He's even always taken a fancy to hot chocolate. It's the only mortal beverage he doesn't mind, except for alcohol, but that goes without saying. He remembers how hot chocolate always gives him the tingly feeling of warmth, even though vampires are naturally cold-blooded animals. But still, he can't forget the deception, the betrayal, the whole 'you-can-take-what-you-want-but-nothing-is-yours' speech. The way he left him high and dry, even after all they've been through. He was his 'Yoda'. He doesn't think he'll ever be able to forgive him for that.

But forgiving hardly has to do with anything. No, Spike can't stand Angelus; it doesn't mean he doesn't want to lay him.... Come to think of it, it's almost always been this way.

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