Saturday, September 19, 2009

My last post had a bit more negativity than I like to leave. Granted, it was honest, but while I have my breaking moments, most the moments are more positive.

I'm learning. It's a proccess. I guess in some ways I feel like I'm a real grown-up now, and figuring out this thing called life. I have three children, one in school now, own a home and am in a vocation. There's going to be lots of ups and downs. Lots of stress and problems to face. Many blessings and much joy too. Jesus said, "in this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world."

Here's what I'm learning.

It's a lot about perspective. Sure there are times life is challenging and I could list many things that I don't like or seem unfair. But I'm not the only one. We all have different difficulties to own.

I may face the challenges of being a working mom to three young children. I have two sister-in-laws who are blessed to stay home with their children. But one has a husband who works 24-48hr shifts, so is alone during that time. The other has a husband who owns his own business, works long hours and 6 days a week.

Which makes me thankful that after a long day of work and running kids to and fro, Bean is home all evening and we are able to share those duties together. I saw this quote on Facebook the other day: "Whenever I get an idyllic view of someone else's life, I will often say out loud, "I am not equipped to handle what they have, both good and bad."

Those words could not be more true. You can't compare one life to another. The Psalmist said "the boundary lines for me have been set in pleasant places." Which to me means--the life I have, is the life God intended for me, both the good and the challenging. It's not for me to look beyond what he has given me, at this moment. Because you never know how things may change in the future either.

Perspective also says, I HAVE children. So many ache for children, but don't have them. My children are HEALTHY, and there are many sick children in this world.

It's also about my attitude. No, it's not always great. Some days I want to give up. Some days I want to break down. Some days I'm short with my children, with my husband because of the stress I feel. But I choose my attitude. I've learned what it takes (most of the time) to adjust my attitude. Perhaps I need to go for a run, or even a walk around the block with the kids changes my attitude. I need to forget worrying about cleaning and the household duties, get on the floor and play with the kids. I need to make quality time with my husband (even if its just watching a movie after the kids are in bed) a priority. These attitude-fixers are huge for me.

And my reaction. Oh that reaction. When life throws me a curveball, I want to pick it up and lob it right back in someone else's face. I want to be immature and throw a fit like my kids do. But that's not Christlike. Nor does it really help the situation.

I bite my tongue. I tell Bean how I'm feeling to process it, but of course it's a conversation that stays between us. I remind myself of God's promises and how they've held true my entire life.

Basically, in some ways, I don't react. Most of the time, things work themselves out--and often it doesn't even take that long. If I were to react according to my flesh, it would make situations bigger than necessary and cause damamge.

I'm sure I'll need to come back and read this soon, to remind myself of these truths, when the next curveball comes or when the day in and day out routines are overwhelming me.

Another quote I saw on Facebook recently (I have some friends who post great stuff!) said "fear takes a lot more work than faith." I would add--with fear, circumstances consume you; with faith--you just let go.

So I choose to let go. I choose to rejoice. I choose to be anxious about nothing. I know this won't be the last time.

At the end of the craziest day, full of "what ifs" and "I wish" and "It's not fair"...I still love my life, I love my children, I love my husband. God has been so good to me.

2 comments:

Wow I love the quote that "Fear Takes More Work Than Faith." I have noticed in the past couple of weeks that I have been super anxious about upcoming events. I finally figured out that I was getting on the merry go round of fear. I was just spinning out of control with fear. I have been working on letting go of my fears and asking God to take control. All of my fears are basically because of how powerless I am to control so many things in my life. Thanks for your honest post - We are so much alike:)