No one cares

“I am a vessel of love”

In Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Big Magic, she mentions a story of her meeting an older friend who tells her a secret. It goes as,

“We all spend our twenties and thirties trying so hard to be perfect, because we’re so worried about what people will think of us. Then we get into our forties and fifties, and we finally start to be free, because we decide that we don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of us. But you won’t be completely free until you reach your sixties and seventies, when you finally realize this liberating truth — nobody was ever thinking about you, anyhow.”

This past Saturday, my wife and I, along with a friend, went out to Ballast Point in Long Beach.

While there, we got into a lively conversation about expectations and how living in a social world can get people swept away in caring about what others think of them.

I told them of a story about when I lived back in Arizona and how a hairdresser I knew had a birthday party. On the way to the party, she decided that she would take off her top and sit in the passenger seat of her friend’s car, bare chested.

This was in the middle of the day, and she thought it would be funny to see the reactions of fellow vehicle passengers and drivers they’d pass on the road… nothing

No one looked at her.

After explaining the beauty in that story, I got up on the table and started to dance (shirt on) in front of this brewery crowd.

No one blinked

No eye contact, no heads turned, nothing.

I sat down, point proven.

People don’t care about you because they are too busy living their lives.

Their dramas, triumphs, defeats, enjoyments, all the works.

And for this we should be grateful.

The next time you begin to worry about how other people will react to you being you… don’t