Monday, May 7, 2012

Cupcake Wars

“When did it become a requirement to bring cupcakes AND
goodie bags to school for birthdays? Moms- let's stop trying to out-do each
other!”

This was a fellow mom’s FB status earlier this week.

We had just picked our kids up from preschool and had been
greeted with yet another goodie bag that someone had brought in to celebrate
their child’s birthday.

It was the most beautiful goodie bag, all wrapped up and
tied with a cute little ribbon.It had
tons of toys, candy, games, tattoos etc. inside.

We were informed by the children that there had also been
cupcakes.This is about the 10th
birthday celebration that had taken place at school this year, each one more
elaborate than the next.

Now, I thought that having a summer baby would make me exempt
from having to do any of this shit for my kid.But lo and behold…the teacher has put out a summer birthday celebration
schedule.We’re all supposed to pick a
day towards the end of the year and let our kids have their birthday at school.Damn it.

I was in the middle of thinking about what day I should pick
when I read my friend’s status.I
immediately thought...well, don’t worry, you will have absolutely NO
competition from me!

I strive for mediocrity and I think I do a really decent job
achieving my goal.When it comes to
competing with other moms over party planning I throw in the towel right
away.Here’s me waving my white
flag.Come collect your congratulatory
handshake…you win!

I will give you one million imaginary dollars if my son ever
walks up to me in the future and says:

“Remember that
awesome birthday party that what’s-his-name’s mom threw at school when I was
three?”

Who are we trying to impress here? It's not the kids. You could give the kids a hair covered lollipop from last Halloween and they would be thrilled to have it! (Note to self: see if I have enough old lollipops to cover the whole class...)

Celebrating at school is cute, but goodie bags are optional…and
by optional I mean to say if you have expendable time and income then go
nuts.But don’t expect your kid to come
home with one from my son because I have neither of those things.

I don’t even bake.So
store bought cupcakes are what I’ll be offering up to celebrate Carter being 3
years and 9 months old.

Or I think I’m actually going to partner with a friend of
mine whose son’s birthday is the day before Carter’s.She bakes.She can make the cupcakes and I’ll stand at the door at the end of class
and give all the kids a high five on their way out.That should cover the goodie bag portion of
our show.

So there you have it fellow moms, bring on your handmade
valentines and your most elaboratebirthday celebrations.Feel free
to outdo me.It won’t be hard.In fact, I think the challenge here would be
to do LESS than me.

Carter’s real party will be in the summer.With cake, goodie bags, balloons and
kegs.

Umm, yes! Thank you! Listen, my kids are lucky they even GET a party for their birthday (also summer babies). And while I will remember to make goodie bags that does NOT mean I will remember to hand them out (for three years running).

I feel no desire to out-do other moms. I'm ok with being shown up. Can I get in line behind you for the high-five thing? I'd be good at that!

I usually end up throwing out goodie bags anyway because it's just more clutter in my hosue! Fellow moms, I'm doing you a favor by not adding another bouncy ball that will just break shit to your home. You're welcome!

That was good. I was nodding like a bobble head. Around here in the public schools they have pretty much done away with all the birthday party hoopla. We bring cupcakes or something at their lunch or recess and that's it. I like it. I like it a lot.

I definitely don't remember having this birthday craziness when I was in school! We brought in cupcakes, shared them, and that was pretty much it. On with the day. I didn't know there was so much competition now. Something to look forward to, eh?

AMEN!! I'm right there with ya'. I never felt the pressure and always used the excuse that I was a working mother while bringing my kid some lame store bought cupcakes for his birthday. But, I would be sure to pump up the Super Moms with the ol' "YOU GO GIRL"!!! They just need some praise and ego stroking to get their rocks off.

I can certainly understand what you mean here. It is amazing how many parents get "competitive" on silly things like that. Especially when the child won't remember in five months, much less five years, what you went through the effort and expense to provide.

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