Thursday, 14 May 2015

Something's wrong...

I spent a good fifteen years of my life in a basement. Now I'm relegated to a tiny bedroom every night. I've gone very badly wrong somewhere...

Still not as bad as the UK anyway. Oxford dictionaries will provide a new definition of the term "fucked" which will be 'The UK in the years 2015 to 2020'. How? Why? How on Earth could such a state befall Britain, that gangrenous isle, that dried up piece of shit clinging to the pubic hair of planet Earth? Yes that Britain. Well what happened was the people in the south of England, you're going to love this, did a very silly thing. Well I'll tell you what they did. They re-elected the Tory party of "Dave" Cunteron to be the majority government of the country for the next five years. And no that is not a typo. Nor some horrible nightmare we have yet to awaken from. This is happening. We have the Tories ruling our lives for the next five, long years. Form an orderly queue at Beachy Head folks if you can afford to get there, beat the rush.

What, wait? Suicide is preferable to five more years of the Tories?! It's more humane certainly. Tories only have an electorate just to watch them die, very, very slowly. Ian Duncunt Smith will strip everybody of their welfare and pensions to pay off some rich guys who wasted their own money eight years ago and then videotape all those dying of exposure and starvation which he will then wank himself off to, cos, y'know, he's into that. Jeremy Cunt will charge people for being ill, a hundred pounds per cold please. How dare you get ill. Gorgeous George Oscunt will make every moment of your existence a horror show as he's good at that and so on...

Ok you get it! Life's going to be hell from here on in, that point was clearly made with some bludgeoned subtlety and yes it's all the fault of the south of England and yes the politicians are all liars and deviants who enjoy hurting you. You've heard the same freaking out rhetoric already here and elsewhere. Change the record to something new!

Well, I would argue there is still a fresh fear within these tired old rants. This isn't being a bad loser at the result. How could it be? I'm not wired that way plus most of the population didn't bother to vote and no viable alternative would ever be voted for. Milibot was not going to get in on a majority vote and it's way easier to scare those who do bother to vote into voting Tory with enough bullshit headines. The next thing is "Dave" has come out and said Britain is too tolerant and should interfere in people's lives more. Yes, that is what you have elected. The state suddenly re-exists but not in a Marxist sense, ooh no, that was about people not profit and people are useless when it comes to making real money. Prepare for the sound of your bones crushing under the wheels of state if you don't tow the line more.

Still Scotland has the SNP totally ruling the roost. Or move to the Republic of Ireland. They'll still fuck you over but do it in a charming and lyrical way. We're all doomed anyway so may as well have a bit of poetry to the demise...

Hang on, you say, the placement of the word 'cunt' in the names of leading Tories?! That's the best you can come up with?! Well I ain't got much but that I have and it's worth something as we live in the Age of the Puerile now folks.