Often Irreverent, Mostly Rational Blog for Fans of the Toronto Blue Jays. One Day, We'll Be Perfect.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Knuckling under in Boston

God, we hate when we get all punny with our blog post titles. We would like to think that sort of lowbrow humour is beneath us, but it's just not. We are that lame.

So what did we learn in last night's 2-1 loss to the Boston Chowderheads? We learned that when a shitty shitballing shitbird throws shitty shitballs all night long, the Jays may be in for a shitty night of shitty pop ups to the infield. By the end of the game last night, we felt like it was 1987 and we were watching Frank Tanana toss junk around, frustrating us to a point that leaves emotional scars for decades afterwards.

Although to be perfectly reasonable about this, it is still May, and there's still three-quarters of the season to go.

Breakin' it down: The DopenessAfter a shakey first two frames, Brian Tallet was nails for the next four innings, locking it down and giving the Jays the chance to work their way back into the game. Tallet went six, struck out 5 and walked two, likely keeping himself in the rotation for another two starts at the very least. Welcome back to the Summer of Tallet...

We're not sure of Cito is a genius for playing Kevin Millar last night, or if Millar is a savant for putting pretty much the only good swing on a Wakefield pitch. Let's just call them both awesome and move on...

The Beej looked alright, even with seemingly diminished velocity last night. We never saw him throw anything over 88 MPH, but his location was mostly spot on, and he worked at bats well. He looks a lot more composed on the mound, and doesn't seem to be rushing his delivery, which likely makes all the difference...

Breakin' it down: The WacknessWe're not entirely sure how Alex Rios got thrown out trying to steal on a floating knuckleball that the catcher double-clutched on, but it happened. Perhaps the Blissfully Oblivious Gazelle forgot halfway between bases that there was some urgency involved with making his way to second...

We hate to dump on Adam Lind's defense, because we can see the guy is really trying to improve, but his throw way up the line to no one in particular in the second inning was quite the brain cramp. Let's hope that Cito or Brian Butterfield can work they mystical magic on him before we get to Atlanta...

It's easy to pick on Vernon Wells' and his propensity for popping out (twice last night, along with a lazy fly and reaching on an error), but the whole team seemed to want to get under Wakefield's floaters last night. Six pop ups and seven mostly lazy flyballs later, the Jays did their bit to keep the basepaths neatly manicured and the bases pristinely white.

Breakin' it down: The Media SectionOk, first off: What the fuck was up with TSN2 using the NESN feed? All of this scrapping over carriage on the Rogers cable system, and the CTVgm folks can't even see to it that a Canadian crew is employed to broadcast the game? How was this different than Rogers just giving the free MLB Extra Innings Preview? (Our guess is that TSN2 didn't have an HD production truck at its disposal, given TSN's hockey duties, so they decided to take the easier simulcasting route. Actually, we're pretty sure that "Take the Easier Simulcasting Route" will be the title of Ivan Fecan's forthcoming autobiography...

We were actually happy to watch the NESN broadcast, which probably has the best production quality of any local MLB broadcast. However, spending close to three hours listening to Dennis Eckersley's ridiculous meanderings just about drove us batty. Really, can we have another five minute discussion of "sneaky cheese"? It made us appreciate how good Pat Tabler has become over the past decade in the Jays' booth. Too bad we can't pair Tabby with NESN's excellent playcaller Don Orsillo...

Ack: You missed out on Lind really carving out a spot for himself as the everyday left-fielder.

Turning on the TV to watch a Jay's game and getting Dennis Eckersley announcing is worse than walking into your parents' bedroom when they're in their full leather B&D gear. Eck was my most hated player in 1992, when I was younger and much more angry.

Watching a knuckleballer throw makes it worse. After all that emotional scarring I was put through last night, you go and throw Frank (Shitty, shitballing, shithead) Tanana in the mix? Damn, that was cruel.

Voodoo, yeah, forgot that gem about how Snider is apparently the DH - just so many to choose from. Although, if Snider is on his way down soon, we might just see more of Young Adam in left....

My hated for Eckersley peaked immediately after, as Jack Morris called it, his little-league "bang-bang" show up move in the '92 ALCS (top of the 8th, Game 4). Of course, Robbie Alomar taking him deep (top of the 9th) to erase the deficit eased the rage somewhat. That moment was pure awesome, and in my mind, right up there with Carter's blast in '93.

NESN just has the worst broadcast crews ever, their Bruins announcers both have mass-hole accents. And criticize the refs even when the replay shows how flagrant of a penalty the Bruins just committed.

I think part of the reason why Eck was such a dick last night was because he was having worst flashbacks then a Vietnam Vet of 1992 all over again. Seeing Cito in the opposing dugout only made it worse for the fucker.

All the errors and lack of preparedness on Eck's part were pretty bad, I'll admit. However I did find him to be kind of affable. I relly didn't mind him overall. If you can imagine him doing commentary for the Jays and actually knowing the difference between Shawn Camp and Jesse Carlson he probably would be better than any of our current options.

I'm pretty sure I saw "Gene Tenace - Pitching Coach" flash up on the screen. It was as though Eck was putting up the text too.

Anyway, a win will give us more exciting things to chat about ... this feels more like a "dumb ... slow ... knuckleball loss" kind of discussion. The kind I hope to never have again -- not that I hang any of that on the brilliant Tao.

One down, two more to go. By Sunday, we'll be in first again and you guys can share the basement with the Os. All I heard about was the great Jays offense. Those two games against the Yankes they lost, they scored next to nothing. And yesterday you couldn't even hit a shitball pitcher. the Jays aren't for real and you guys are pipedreaming. Maybe some of you can help us raise the World Series flag next year?

The reason more motherfuckers don't throw the knuckleball is that it's almost impossible to throw consistently. If a pitcher is rolling (rolls off a finger or the thumb) one out of every ten he'll end up with an ERA in the twenties or thirties.

I will defer any other comments to the unparralelled intelligence of the poster above me.

Voodoo Matt, I am intelligent I root for a good team. You hosers are being played by Ricciardi and the attendant hype. You really think you can take a game from us, when the Yankees couldn't? You can talk smack when you've beaten an AL East team that is not called the Os. So far, you have dead weight like Wells and Rios as your 3 and 4 hitters? How the fuck can you win with underachievers like that? You have an average team with a great pitcher,very good bullpen,and two shitty 3 and 4 hitters. God luck in staying out of the basement,boys.

The Twins have RA Dickey, a decent reliever who throws a "hard" knuckleball. Fun to watch, but infuriating to listen to the local announcers retread the same crap every time he comes into a game--can't trust the knuckleball in a big game situation, easy to steal off of, can't trust him to come in with guys on base, etc. Jesus Christ, he's a pitcher--can't you just analyze him like any other reliever by looking at baserunners and runs given up and shut up about the potential passed balls?

I realize Kevin Millar has a reputation for doing these sort of things, but did anyone else hear about him visiting the Red Sox clubhouse yesterday before the game to talk to Ortiz in order to help help him break out of his slump??

"They" (yeah, those fuckers) say that the best way to try to hit a knuckle ball is to just focus on trying to hit it directly back through the box to the pitcher. The Jays were trying to tee off on it and with the exception of Millar, they never really squared one up last night.

All this knuckleball talk has us thinking: Who was the greatest knuckleballer in Jays history? Candiotti or Niekro?

Francona: "Because players do. Even not-so-great players get hot. And David's been an elite player . . . he's not going to go all season hitting .207 with no home runs. When he gets hot, where's it take him? Well, let's find out. I want to live through that before we get too crazy here."