Suzette Martinez Standring: A New Year’s evolution

Suzette Martinez Standring

Wednesday

Dec 29, 2010 at 12:01 AMDec 29, 2010 at 1:02 PM

A new year begins, and perhaps the past 12 months have changed you forever. A baby is born. A parent dies. An opportunity is lost. A dream is realized. Live and learn, and what better way to begin anew than to share the hard won lessons of 2010? Exchanging a reflective look back is better than a New Year’s resolution.

A new year begins, and perhaps the past 12 months have changed you forever. A baby is born. A parent dies. An opportunity is lost. A dream is realized. Live and learn, and what better way to begin anew than to share the hard won lessons of 2010? Exchanging a reflective look back is better than a New Year’s resolution.

Resolutions often spark goals of diet, exercise and other surface stuff. But things get very interesting when the questions are asked, “What did you learn in the past year, and how will you use that new knowledge in 2011?”

For myself discouragement was my challenge. The details don’t matter because the symptoms are universal: the fatigue from expending energy with little results, the inner whispers of “You can’t do this. It’s beyond you. Give up!” And I nearly did, but one thought stopped me. “If I stop, then for sure nothing will happen.” And then one prayer kept me going, “God, I’ll do my bit, but you’ll have to figure this out, and send me a sign that I’m not wasting my time. And make it a clear sign because I’m not that smart.”

Months later, bushels of encouragement arrived, a signal for me to stay the course. I didn’t get what I wanted, but I got what I needed, and I now feel a security in being led to whatever the outcome may be.

My lesson is to stay mindful that I play a part in God’s purpose. It may turn out not to be what I expected. But it could be something even better because God knows my innermost desire, even if I don’t. I’ll just do my best and let God kick down the doors – such big, titanium, seemingly hermetically sealed doors. And he’s already surprised me. How will I apply that lesson in the coming year? Just dig in and do the work, whatever the task at hand.

To these same questions, my daughter, Starleen Baylon, answered, “I learned to stand up for myself and in the future, to check in sooner with my feelings.”

Others weighed in. Julie Fay said, “My personal lesson was that God takes care of me. I’ve known that for a long time, but it’s really been driven home since August. All things work for the good of those who love God. Baby step: not to worry so much! God takes care of me.”

In 2010, Colleen Cooney lost her mother during a family trip to Ireland. Too many others she knew also passed away that same year. “Even in times of loss there are blessings in one’s life and to be mindful of them makes life better even at difficult times. Because it was a year of such loss, I plan to focus on doing positive things for myself that I may have been holding back on, like submitting some poems for publication.”

Many can be held back because of personal fears, current setbacks or the limitations set by others. From Canada, Dan St. Yves made me laugh when he wrote: "If you keep moving forward, things just have to improve! Also, don't let things like ‘you must be this tall to ride this attraction’ bother you.”

Career and ambition do not have to be the only reasons to grab opportunities. "My next baby step in this area is to not take things for granted and think that I might be given another chance to do whatever it is, like a good deed or time spent with friends,” wrote Patricia Velasquez of Boston.

Although we ride with hope into 2011 pain as well as joy will be on the other end. Consider how to be with others in their times of difficulty. For example, being a good listener is best when no words can comfort. Jill Ceppetelli-Spano of Marshfield, Mass., said, “No one can understand someone else's pain, unless they've experienced the same thing. I will be more compassionate in the new year.”

Looking back, experience makes us wiser and hard won lessons build a foundation for better decisions in 2011. It’s not about resolution, it’s evolution!

E-mail Suzette Standring at suzmar@comcast.net or visit www.readsuzette.com. View her TV shows about writing, “It’s All Write with Suzette,” on www.vimeo.com.

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