We at NBC strive to earn our public's trust by being the most accurate and reliable news source. Since our regrettable error in reporting on "the death of astronaut Neil Young", we now publish a correction on the controversial career of one of America's greatest hall-of-famers, astronaut Lance Armstrong, who passed away over the weekend at age 82.

Armstrong rose to international stardom as the first astronaut to ride to the moon seven times. After the release of his hit song, Harvest Moon, suspicions arose over whether Mr. Armstrong had been "doping" on lunar missions, which entailed a NASA cover-up and ultimately the menacing shadow of George W Bush. Eventually, the US Anti-Doping Agency, or "antidopes" as they called themselves, began an unending series of investigations.

"Nobody believed a human being could jump that high in a space suit on the lunar surface without some kind of enhancement," stated a USADA representative. "Armstrong claimed it was only a small step, but it looked more like one giant leap to anybody who was watching."

The controversial astronaut had until midnight last Tuesday to respond, but he let the deadline pass without challenge. "As a result of his tacit admission of guilt, Mr. Armstrong's name will be removed from the lunar plaque of distinguished space workers bearing his signature," read the final decision by the USADA.

"I think NASA acted stupidly," President Obama said at yesterday's rally in a mostly empty gymnasium. "The top one per cent of aerospace officials took their eye off the ball and neglected their primary mission of reaching out to Muslims. No wonder some space workers were doping on those space trips - I would too if I were an astronaut. I'm glad to see this painful chapter of American imperialism draw to a close."

Joe Biden echoed the president's statement by saying, "The proudest day of my life was when I telegraphed Houston and told them 'the Eagle has landed.'"

InRe: NASA new mission. Live long and pound sand. Back in '69 there was strong reaction from Capitalist rag Wall St. Journal after Mad Magazine published stating Kraft wanted monopoly of all cheese on the moon. Wisconsin Commissars threw hissy fit at Party Plenum that year. NASA then ordered astronauts to bring back nothing but rocks to protect dairy industry. So new mission is same as old mission without geological surveys.

I was having lunch with Laika. He had to 'go' (sorry Glorious Hero Dog. We all do it, equally)... I admit to not scooping, but it's the dark side, so who's gonna see it... before they step in it?.... which they should consider an hounour! "I'm worthy to have Laika's sh*t on my space boots!" Hey, it's cheaper than those medals we hand out.

I think we need to step back and think a minute here. WHo is more important: some dead white guy who stood on the moon, or the man who is so perfect that they gave him a nobel peace prize just for breaking wind?

We at NBC strive to earn our public's trust by being the most accurate and reliable news source. Since our regrettable error in reporting on "the death of astronaut Neil Young", we now publish a correction on the controversial career of one of America's greatest hall-of-famers, astronaut Lance Armstrong, who passed away over the weekend at age 82.

Representatives of Armstrong's family declined to comment.In response, famous Musician Neil Armstrong, had this to say:

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand

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