BlogHer: The Good, The Bad, The Awkward

The treacherous journey to BlogHer14 is over and I am back in my world where hardly anyone knows I blog and no one ever asks to take a photo of me because I look like The Little Mermaid. I can safely say that any fear or anxiety was entirely unwarranted– no one gives a rats arse how your toenails look or whether you wear the same belt every single day (I did– until I sneezed on the flight home and it completely snapped in two). Beyond that, I have to admit there was a lot about this weekend that caught me totally off guard and it’s taken a moment to process and properly glean The Good, The Bad, and The Awkward.

THE GOOD: People Are Awesome

My very first internet person that I got to meet was Jana from Stop Me If I Told You…and shortly after that, Katia of I Am The Milk. They were even cooler than I’d imagined they would be. I can also brag that I’ve seen the actual human faces behind the avatars of Darcy Perdu, Foxy Wine Pocket, and Princess Rosebud (though hers was only briefly, as she vivaciously flounced in, placed seashells around my neck and then yelled “I’ll be right back, I have to go get my husband drunk!” She was like a magical apparition and I never saw her again after that.

My roommate, Gunmetal Geisha, arrived that evening and picked me up like a hooker on the side of the road. I was so excited that I spontaneously started dancing, which was apparently seen by a few people who later met me and were like “oh yes, I saw you dancing on the street corner.”

I am very good at cultivating a positive reputation.

THE BAD: Want To Publish a Book? Tough Shite.

I attended the pre-conference Pathfinder Day on becoming a published author– not realizing I’d actually signed up to attend one man’s masturbatory exercise in proclaiming his immense worth to the world. I don’t mean to be ungracious about the opportunity… but if I’d realized I was flying in a day early and paying an extra $150 to hear this guy talk about being the most impressive and most original whatever-the-hell-he-was since who-the-feck-cares then I would have stayed home and filed my toenails or reorganized my iTunes library. Here is what I learned from him:

1. The whole of humanity should prostrate itself at his feet and beg for the opportunity to listen to his voice.

2. Self-publishing is for losers, don’t do it. People will laugh at you.

3. Blogging isn’t really writing, but if you have 20 MILLION hits a month then maybe you have a chance.

4. Don’t bother trying to find an agent, they won’t want you. You have to be impressive like him and win some amazing award so that 7 agents will call and beg to represent you.

5. If you’re ever as immensely successful as him, you’ll have the opportunity to wrestle with such problems as “should I turn down this $100,000 advance?”

6. He doesn’t know Arnold Schwarzenegger as the governor, he knows him as “Arnold.”

7. In order to be successful, you have to “hope that lightning strikes you” and that there is “good voodoo” but most likely… it’s not gonna happen.

The one redeeming aspect of this whole show was Margaret Dilloway— author of How To Be An American Housewife —who shared her story of becoming a published author– spoiler alert: She’s a great writer, who did a lot of work, networked, and was open about the struggles she faced along the way. It was quite refreshing to hear from the normal side of the room since I was beginning to think I’d strayed onto the set of The Hunger Games and that if I even dreamed of publishing a book The Capitol would take my children from me and make them fight to the death.

Margaret even sat there and emailed her agent throughout the session to have our questions answered. It was almost as though she wanted to be helpful and not just hear the magical sounds of her own voice booming through a microphone.

ALSO BAD – I Fail at Sexy

I had every intention of being an amazing Girlfran and sending racy photos to The Boyfran, whom I assumed would be brokenhearted and in the depths of despair over my absence. I went ahead and snapped these photos while my hair was at it’s cleanest and the lighting at it’s kindest and then proceeded to accidentally transfer every single one of them onto Gunmetal Geisha’s laptop. Not only did this security breach mean I was setting myself up for episode #2 of having my naked photos go viralbut the transfer had deleted them from my iPhone which meant no fun for The Boyfran. I did, however, send him this:

THE AWKWARD- I Don’t Know How To Behave In Public

I managed to mistakenly assume that a woman was trying to reach backwards and shake my hand when, in fact, she was asking for a business card– so I put my LEFT hand sideways onto hers and sort of awkwardly moved it around as well as my bent elbow would allow. She gave me the sort of look your friend gives you when you’re stopping for gas in the middle of nowhere and realize you’re in a scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I think she actually tried to scream in horror but it was like a bad dream and nothing came out.

That night at the expo, Gunmetal Geisha and I were on a mission to obtain as much free booze as possible. This mission was thwarted by my newly manifested drinking problem, as I spilled the same cocktail on myself 3 separate times.

STOP YOUR FRETTING: No One Cares What You Look Like

Unless, of course, they can make money off of you. The “swag bag” we were given at check-in contained three separate brochures for cosmetic enhancements like botox and other things you can inject in your face. If that’s the route you want to go, more power to you– but it seemed a bit jarring that two of the biggest messages we were repeatedly told were “I Am Enough” and “Selfiebration!” yet they were immediately appealing to whatever insecurity they could find from the second I walked in the door.

“You’re enough– but with poofier lips, you could be even more!”

DIRTY DETAILS: Were The Women Biatches?

Absolutely not– 100% of the people I met in person after knowing online were even cooler than I’d expected. 99.2% of the people I met otherwise were also awesome but who wants to hear about that? Let’s focus on the .8%

#1:Surly Girl I Tried To Talk To Outside The Bathroom – she looked at me like a piece of shite she’d come very close to stepping on and then narrowly missed. Her friend then joined her and they linked arms (might have made that part up) and walked away discussing what I’d just said, while laughing (didn’t make that part up).

#2: Angry Woman At Crosswalk – She started berating and snarling at Gunmetal Geisha and I because she and her friends had accidentally followed us across the street like mindless lemmings.

“Excuse me, why did you walk while the orange hand was up? That’s not when you walk.”

GG tried to explain the wonders of red lights and the fun of risky behaviors but the woman interrupted her.

“But there was broken glass in the street. And a cop was watching, he could have arrested all of us because of you.”

Only a few hours earlier, I’d met a charming transient named Gavin who had agreed to be in our video and then started smoking pot on that exact same street corner, because “the cops don’t bother you unless you’re already wanted by the law.” I hardly doubt we were going to be arrested for rushing a crosswalk. My theory is that this woman missed her children so much that she was on the hunt for anyone she could snap at and nag for merely existing.

FUN: Some Things That Definitely Happened

1. I took Jell-O shots with Julie DeNeen, who did all the techy stuff for this site. I ended up with a hickey on my upper lip that sort of looks like a shadowy mustache but is tragically impossible to capture in photos.

2. I danced my arse off whilst gulping sangria and eventually ended up traipsing around downtown San Jose whilst eating out of a happy meal box.

3. I preached to a hotel room of women about the merits of not wearing underwear.

ALSO FUN: Some Things I Think Happened But It’s A Bit Foggy

1. I welcomed a group of non-bloggers onto the Fairmont elevator and told them I would be their guide for the journey we were about to take.

2. I paid a street magician named Justin $1 for guessing my card right— King of Diamonds, if I recall.

3. We stood on top of a concrete ledge and a guy on the sidewalk took our photo after I told him he better not steal the phone because I’m a fast runner (this is not actually true + I’d just consumed a Happy Meal)

OMG: Famous People!

Kerry Washington was lovely and very normal. I don’t know why she’s billed as an activist but maybe they got into that after 1PM– which was about the time that GG and I left to go order champagne at a nearby cafe.

Jenny Lawson(The Bloggess) somehow managed to be even more cool than she is on her blog or in her book. She blew my damn mind. She told us to cut the arms off of babies, revealed she was wearing fake hair she’d bought in Colorado since she couldn’t buy weed, and looked out in the crowd and told us that one of us might someday be sitting on that same stage, delivering a keynote. I felt dreamy eyed that perhaps she was speaking to me… but then realized that would likely never happen, especially thanks to the video (DOWN BELOW) that GG and I made to document the TRUE experience of what it’s like to attend BlogHer.

CONCLUSION: I Give it 8 out of 10 Goats

It was an amazing experience, but mostly because of the people I got to meet and hang out with. I cannot stress how unbelievably cool everyone was. If you were there, you know what I’m talking about (and I’m talking about you). I’m hoping for more opportunities to meet up with people offline and I can’t wait to see how many photos get uploaded in the coming days that include me carrying out my mission to photobomb as many people as possible. Hopefully no one snapped any sneaky photos of me looking like a weirdy– which is exactly what I’m guest-posting about on Meno Mother today– photograph at your own risk, you may end up falling on your arse. If there is anything I ultimately took away from this experience, it’s that I need to learn how to take a selfie without my damn mouth hanging open like a fish waiting to be hooked.

If you were at BlogHer— how does your experience compare to mine? How would you react to someone telling you your dreams or ambitions were hopeless? Do you feel like you’re “enough?”

And finally…. as though this post weren’t enough, here’s what it’s REALLY like at BlogHer:

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————Aussa,
I was waiting for this! OOOO, I wish I would have been there to link arms, skip around the yellow brick road, stalk the Bloggess, and inhale Jell-O shots & Sangria w/ you guys.
Love your photos. I have a feeling you are fun as HELLLLL.
btw, the pre-conference Pathfinder Day on becoming a published author sounds like and total ASSHOLEEEE.
Xxx KISS from MN.

Oh hai hi hello, Linda! I like that you are dangerous. That can mean so many things…. and yes, I’m thinking that there need to just be regional blogger hangouts throughout the year… and I will defy geography and go to all of them because there are just way too many cool people to hang out with.

I am SO glad that I got to meet you and so many of the lovely Bloppies. I wish there were more hours in a day that didn’t require sleep so that I could have spent more time hanging out with ALL THE PEOPLE. Because that is why I show up to these shindigs. The women and men that I met this weekend were the best. Except for that one lady who wouldn’t exchange cards with me. She was my .8% biatch.

Oh my gosh, yes I read about your .8% biatch on facebook– what the holy hell, who behaves that way and SAYS that?!
People who need to get throat-punched, that’s who.

This post got way too long for me to include my experiences when I quite absentmindedly wandered into the Hairfinity booth and was assaulted by Bratz dolls. Truly one of the most frightening experiences of my life.

Okay, you are NOT going to get away with that. I insist on a follow-up blog about Bratz dolls assault. (I’m assuming you weren’t hanging out with The Evil Author that day, or he’d have killed them. And eaten them.)

Ha! I feel like they might be the reindeer that pull his sleigh or something, they were so frightening. They asked about every single aspect of my appearance as though it were fake– it was a surreal experience. “How do you get your hair that color? what fake eye lashes are you using? how long have you worn those colored contacts?” I’m surprised they didn’t try and cop a feel to see if those were real. It was the most bizarre thing ever… I felt like chum that had been thrown off the back of a fishing boat.

Hank Shaw (I looked it up because I was curious too 🙂 ). I read the “about” on his blog, and he sort of sounds like he’s generally an a-hole. It wasn’t special for the conference. He hasn’t purchased meat from a store in twenty years or something along those lines that makes him FAR superior to us stupid jerks who go to, like, GROCERY STORES. And similar comments of an equally snotty nature.

the dude who is a cook, a hunter, angler, forager and wild foods expert constantly on the lookout for new things to catch and eat? I googled his name and then went to Amazon since he is such a huge author…anyway if this is the guy WhyTF was he a speaker at BlogHER?

I couldn’t resist looking it up either – and was fully expecting to learn that you’d been addressed by Steven King. Or at any rate a real author. It would please me to learn that Steven King was a dick, since I mightily despise writing on the grounds that it makes me want to throw up, but at least he’d be a big dick. I was truly disappointed to discover that you’d been berated, crushed and driven to alcoholism by such a very little dick. And I couldn’t help wondering what they were thinking… How could someone like that POSSIBLY be relevant to an event geared to women bloggers?

This is only vaguely related, but I kinda feel the need to tell you that the moment I start talking about my dreams and aspirations, my partner falls asleep. Sometimes, he’ll even be in the middle of attempting to say something supportive and then… sleep.

I think I’ll self-publish a book and send it to the Pathfinder Masturbator. Or whatever his name is. I’ll probably just print something off on my computer. There’s no way anyone could laugh at that.

Sorry I missed meeting you! I too was in that pathfinder published author session. And, um, yeah. Not useful or helpful, dude. Actually I found several panels to be that way. It was a lot of “here’s what happened to me, what worked and what didn’t.” Not entirely unhelpful but also not applicable to 98% of the people in the room. Absolutely agree that everyone was awesome and no one gave a rat’s ass what you were wearing despite prior warnings to leave your yoga pants at home. And the official BlogHer schwag bag did indeed suck.

Oh I wish we had gotten to connect, dangit. I think I bonded with a fair number of people after making eye contact and then rolling them.

And I so agree about the yoga pants. I love wearing dresses, so that’s what I wore. But it didn’t seem like anyone was decked out to the nines or that there was some mass majority of super fancy schmancy people. Everyone just looked comfortable to me. Maybe this was an improvement on previous years, not sure.

Aussa is being very professional and not sharing his name. So just google “Blog Her Pathfinder” and see the published authors. You’ll figure it out fast and then you can go laugh hysterically at his website.

A Lady in France, I just saw this comment! Dangit! Katia was wonderful 🙂 And I’m jealous of all the people who spent that day by the pool… I only ever saw it from the window of the Fairmont, as we debated whether we could sneak in at night 😉

And how did we not meet? I would have loved to have been added to the awkward list of random people who ran around saying hi to everyone, while giving out hugs and an occasional arse slap in an Alcohol enlightened state of mind.

Hey! My blog is a biatch and totally hid this comment from me until now. ARGH forgive my tardiness :-/

And– I don’t know! I saw your interactions on the facebook but never you in person. You’d think that all the menfolk at BlogHer would stick out like shiney beacons of light but you really just blended in. Take that however you’d like 😉

This sounds almost exactly like the experience I had last year! Minus the magician and happy meal box. The person moderating how to publish a memoir hadn’t actually published a memoir, which I found curious, but the people were amazing! And don’t you worry – your novel is going to be published, and your life story, too, and you’ll be giving that keynote in 2015. Loved this recap and I’m glad you had such an awesome time!

I’m so pissed off! How did I NOT get to meet you?! How did I not know you already? Ahhh! I feel like I need a rewind. You are exactly the type of person we were all looking to hang out with. 🙂 Our little “not cool enough kids” club could’ve used another buddy. 🙂 I wrote my own recap of BlogHer and must say that yours was way more interesting, and you were super generous to give 8 out of 10 goats.

You are funnee. You know, I was thinking I might go to that blog-to-book session, but I’ve been to them before at other confs and found them to be completely unhelpful. But yeah, lengthy monologues are a drag on any subject.

I almost went to BlogHer (it was closer to my home than BlogU, which I didn’t find out about in time to attend), but the size of it (and the price) was a bit intimidating to me. It would have been my first conference like that, and I sort of feel like I should pick a smaller one for the first one. You know, you want your first time to be intimate and…I should really shut up because this has moved into “that’s what she said” territory, and it’s not sounding any less dirty as I continue to type! Glad you had fun, and screw the 0.8%!

I know (“know”–you know, blogknow, eknow) a bunch of the folks who went this year and I was bummed I didn’t find out about it sooner. I’m going for sure next year because everything I heard was positive. FYI, the venue is the same–Univ of Notre Dame in Baltimore. Dates will be announced later on, but it’s late June, same as this year.

First, I’m so sad we never bumped into each other!! Second, I totally agree about the Botox BS but whatevs. Let’s make our elevenses the new sexy. Also, MARGARET DILLOWAY WAS THERE?? Gah. Wish I bumped into her too. I loved that book! I left BlogHer feeling really inspired and ‘enough’. So glad I didn’t go to pathfinder day bc that’s the session I would’ve gone to and been completely depressed by. The only thing that really bugged me was how we Non-reader VOTY’s seemed to be an afterthought. So glad you have pictures even if I do sorta look like a blue M&M. Here’s my take: Inspired at BlogHer14 | The Life of Kyliehttp://thelifeofkylie.com/2014/07/28/inspired/

Kylie, I know :-/ There are quite a few people I missed during the conference. It was always nice when I’d be wafting through the grand ballroom with all the tables and someone would just grab my wrist and say “Aussa!” because otherwise I was so spaced out and focused on not tripping (didn’t prevent it from happening though, ha!)

Margaret Dilloway was very sweet– I need to follow the link I just put up and actually buy her book!

Despite some of my yammering here, I left feeling incredibly inspired as well. I have a ton of “to do” lists and such, mostly from conversations I had with other bloggers!

I know what you mean about VOTY… and you do not look like a blue M&M you nut!

Really enjoyed your round-up, felt like I was there! That’s a shame about the negatives, but can you imagine how much worse it would have been if it was the other bloggers who were the negative, like they were all like the .8%? It wouldn’t have mattered how wonderful the sessions or the swag bags were if the people were awful right? Loved your photos. What fun you are! If you ever come to England, visit me yeah?

OOOH seriously! I would much rather take amazing people over amazing froo froo. The people were so much the opposite of awful, I really wouldn’t have minded if it had just been a huge meetup aside from any sort of conference going on.

I’m sure I will be in England again at some point! I need to make a world tour and meet all my international blogger friends 😀

A Princess named after Citizen Kane’s sled? How delightfully droll (as in whimsical, not what people think droll means).

“I’ll be right back, I have to go get my husband drunk!”

Of course she did. I checked the post you linked to. I’m sure he was quite overwhelmed by much estrogen in the place. I don’t know how Lance survived other than he’s outnumbered by women at his home too.

And again, Gunmetal Geisha has big, brown, heart-melting eyes like Cimmorene does. I mean, just looking at them gets me thinking, “Oh no, what did I do? I’m sorry.”

one man’s masturbatory exercise in proclaiming his immense worth to the world

I don’t doubt that Lance is cool in person. He does awesome stuff with Lefty Pop and I get a real charge out of his tweets. He doesn’t say it quite so much but I can see from his photos that he loves his family.

Oh goodness, this line just made me LOL: “It was quite refreshing to hear from the normal side of the room since I was beginning to think I’d strayed onto the set of The Hunger Games and that if I even dreamed of publishing a book The Capitol would take my children from me and make them fight to the death.”

Also, I didn’t do Pathfinder Day (mostly because I’ve heard it’s a waste of $$) but I didn’t know Margaret Dilloway was there! I liked her book.

I had an amazing time. Now that I see your photos, I realize that I saw you several times, because I kept thinking you were Katherine Stone at first. But I’m sad I didn’t get to say hi! It was great – mainly because of the people.

THANK GOD YOU ARE BACK! (and safe) I think I missed you more than Boyfran! I am happy you had a good time and got to meet so many cool people! I even recognize some of them! The dude from Pathfinder day sounds delightfully full of himself! It would be a pleasure to walk away from him.
I bet Jenny Lawson was talking to you Aussa, I don’t know much about blogging but I consider myself pretty adept at reading and you have yet to disappoint.

So glad you had fun, and I love all the pictures and photobombs! And of course now I’m dying to know who the super-self-important *guy* was. Wonder if anyone thanked him for taking the time to let so many people know they shouldn’t bother? *frowns* People like that make me glad I’m not *trying* to be a writer. I write because I am a blabbermouth, I had an odd childhood, and I happen to be a fast typer…that’s all–but it’s definitely enough!

It’s odd… a lot of people lined up to talk to him afterwards. I mean, maybe he actually had some helpful insight to share… but there was no way in hell I was doing anything like standing in line to further inflate his ego. No thanks.

gah. They were probably lining up to ask him if they could get a refund, since, if they weren’t going to *make it* as writers, the first way to save money would be to have NOT SPENT IT LISTENING TO HIM. 😉

Wow Aussa! Great pics! Sounds like it was a lot of fun. Did GG have enough duct tape? Bwahaha! You look fabulous in all the photos. Love that one of you and GG on the concrete wall – you look like you’re lecturing the guy with the camera and GG looks like she is playing the femme fatale. Of all the great book writers why did BlogHer pay some self-righteous prig to lecture? Surely they could have come up with some one better than that. Sheesh. Makes men look like idiots again, as if we aren’t bad enough as it is.

I might have fainted in the presence of thousands of women – could have been a sensory overload – Ha! So much to see and so little time to see it. Whew. So, you got to see the real Darcy, eh? Boy not many in this world can say that – I’m envious. And The Bloggess – I’ve read her book, she’s so real and so funny. You need to publish book Aussa – it would be so, so great!

Love the way you put the Ugly up front – real attention grabber. Oh, as an aside, I published my first Guest Post yesterday over a Willowdot21 http://willowdot21.wordpress.com/2014/07/27/6282/ . Willow set the topic “If we were having coffee…” and I wrote it. I’d love it if a famous blogger such as yourself (see, appealing with flattery Ha!)would drop by and say “Hi”. Any comments, criticisms and suggestions are welcomed with open arms.

It really was quite funny that the ultimate a-hole had to be a guy in a conference full of women! Not helping, not helping! And thankfully Jenny Lawson made up for him soooo much by being insanely down to earth and encouraging– and let’s be real, she’s 10000X more successful than him.

I will definitely be over to check out your post, Paul! I’ve got it open in a tab now 🙂

A. You’re awesome. B. You’re hilarious. C. I almost came early to Pathfinder for that exact path. Glad I didn’t. D. Ditto to the irony of the “I’m Enough” messaging in proportion to the cosmetic/better yourself vendors. And E. It was all a blast anyway!

“E” is totally right! Despite all the things I can call out, it was such an amazing time anyways! I really think I may need to write about my Hairfinity booth experience… kill. The vendors were way more frightening than the bloggers! I suppose we just feel safer amongst our own kind… Thanks Heather!

The Pathfinder Day keynote sounds like a dick! His message was so negative. I’m sure others felt the same way. He has a strange way of building his fan base.
I am so horrified by some of the fat lips my friends are getting. You are right about mixed messages! Sheesh!
You are so lucky to have met The Bloggess! Maybe she’ll come back to Colorado for another wig…Overall, it sounds like a fun time!

I think I’m going to have just one goal at the next Blogher…find you and spend at least ten minutes soaking up the vibes. In fact, I’m sure you have a fan club out there I can join. Anyone that can make me crack up with just one blog post gets major points in my world.

YES! Next BlogHer, I’m just going to make a bucket list of humans (which is very different from a bucket of humans) to hang out with the entire time. That’s where the real value is. I’m so glad you laughed/enjoyed my post Rene 🙂

Aw thanks Steph! I’m really thinking I need to revisit the idea I had a few months ago, about making a map of everyone’s IP addresses and just arranging little meetups all over the country! Have blog, will travel.

That would have been amazing. It’s so funny because it was the first session of the entire conference and I think we all walked in with so hope and stars in our eyes that it took a slow minute for the reality of what was happening to dawn on us… utter disillusionment. We were trapped!

Oh yes and your souvenir, let me think… would you like the collagen lip brochure?!

Aussa! You’re back! I’m glad you were able to spread your conference knowledge. Until now, I didn’t know that you, I, and other bloggers are not real writers. LOL. Can’t wait until you publish a book some day and you get to guest speak about it 😉 Now that’s something I would pay money for.

Oh my gosh, can you imagine? I’d be afraid to google my days, just wondering what people would’ve said…

I know it’s a huge challenge to fill up like 5 hours with knowledge but my gosh… it’s like that guy thought we’d all shown up to learn more about him. Maybe we can just chalk it up to him being utterly confused… maybe.

I agree with you 100% about the Pathfinder Book day. My notes from the first hour go something like this: dude is talking about himself, yep, continuing to talk about himself, wtf? why is the woman just sitting there?, dude is back to talking about himself, his mother, what exit, he’s wonderful, yadda yadda yadda. Seriously, once Margaret started talking I was hoping he would just LEAVE. ACK!

“His mother, what exit” hahaha! I know. It was bad, so bad. I wish they’d set up a camera at the front of the room to capture our faces as we began to realize the horror we were being forced to sit through.

I went to that track last year and it was led by Melissa Ford of BlogHer and another woman who did vegan cookbooks. They were excellent–informative and friendly, encouraging and fun. This year…well, I’m glad the keynotes that day were so good!

Ha! It’s so bad. I tried to balance them out with scrunchy faced and grumpy selfies but everywhere I look… I’m being tagged and reposted with the fish face. That’s just me, I suppose… Best to embrace my true self.

All the people, all the time, yes! I don’t think there are very many, if any, bloggers living in my area. I would get so jealous every time I heard someone say “You live in the Bay Area/Northeast Whatever? OMG me too, let’s get together!”

This is an excellent post, ninja, and startlingly true to life. Also, it’s possible that no roommate I’ve ever had has made me laugh so much. I might kind of have separation anxiety. Video halfway ready, by the way…

I’m so jealous that you were in the same room with Jenny Lawson! Love her blog and her book, can’t wait for the new memoir whenever it finally gets published. At the risk of sounding like a very uncool blogger, I never heard of BlogHer, but I’d love to attend the next one. It sounds great! Where was it? And kudos to you for surviving the photo blunder! 🙂
Best,
~TB

Okay this isn’t going to help you with your jealousy and I really am not at all the type of person to lose myself in fangirly-ness but she is even cooler in person. Seriously. It’s almost impossible to believe until you see it yourself. Just a truly good sort of human.

I hadn’t heard of BlogHer until shortly after I started blogging… last November or so? I had to manically email a bunch of people cooler than me and ask if they were going and if I were too much of a loser to go. Thankfully they were all kind and told me to join in the madness.

It was in San Jose, California but they move all over the country, in major cities. Thanks!

Wow, again, I wish I had known. I have a couple of good friends who live in San Francisco, obviously, not too far away, that I’d love to see. Maybe, next time, and I’ll have to do some research, figure out when the next one is and where. How funny that Jenny Lawson is so cool. She talks about herself as if she’s a social moron! 🙂 Thanks for the info!
~TB

What?! Not one word about your time on stage?! I demand a captains log supplemental paragraph addressing that topic. And what about a video link of the blessed event? Or is that something I shouldn’t have brought up?

And nice work on calling bullshit on bullshit. This’ll get back to the BlogHer execs and that’s the last you’ll see if him. Bet on it. It’s actually kind of refreshing to read some no-holds barred Aussa.

His hubris activated that angry little vigilante inside of me– I mean, how dare he stand up there and tell a room full of people who were clearly taking their ambitions seriously that they were just shit out of luck? Psshhh… You could see people wilting. That stuff makes me angry. It’s bullying.

Buahahaha it was truly that anti-climactic, Mark. So much more interesting to talk about Happy Meals and street magicians than me on a stage. I didn’t even fall. A video is coming soon though! Mark my words. You may need to stalk my twitter to see it… not sure yet.

And what about Kerry Washington? Did her face brighten, could you detect an increased pulse, when you told her that she is my secret crush and that I thought we should be together? You didn’t forget to mention it, did you?

You know… I’m starting to think that I don’t mind how much of an arse he was. It really kept the flavor varied. And I think it lit a fire under my own arse… nothing motivates like someone holding your head under the water, telling you you’ll never get to breathe.

I get the vibe that you were like a BlogHer outlaw! Love that! The best part of events like this is always finding the outlaws and creating your own after hours/gossip/drinking/mayhem parties. I wish I could have gone. I definitely would have sought you out to be in awe of your awesomeness. (Because I always turn into a geeky fangirl when I meet writers that I only know from their blogs. True foot~in~mouth awkward behavior that I’m only capable of in such social settings!)

Thanks for letting a little of the gossip and mayhem spill out on your blog so I can live vicariously!

BlogHer Outlaw, I love it! If they let me come back next year then I should make buttons or something for anyone else who self-identifies as an outlaw 😉 Then we can all find each other! Oh my gosh, if you are foot-in-mouth awkward then we would get along great. Seriously, you don’t know how many times GG stood there while I just spewed words at people and they frozen stared back at me, too polite to just walk away. It was fantastic.

P.S. I’ve been to other seminars/conferences where big-named, published assholes have told the aspiring writers to forget getting published unless your last name is King, Rawling, or Koontz and/or unless you’re as cool as XYZ Dickhead, and you just have to learn to ignore them. I once spent a week at a seminar in NYC learning how to market one’s work, which focused mostly on nonfictional books, but the info was still valuable and could be applied to fictional books or screenplays. Attending this conference cost me a fortune (like more than $3K), and there was only ONE agent who repped screenwriters. And my screenplay had just won 5th Place out of 18,000 entries in Writer’s Digest Competition a couple months prior, and this prick/agent told me there was no way I’d ever sell that script unless I adapted the story into a book, which sold a million copies. While I still haven’t sold that script, I didn’t appreciate his flippant attitude and lack of appreciation for what I felt was a worthy accomplishment winning 5th Place So, screw the establishment and its arrogant A-Listers! 🙂 Additionally, I met Brian Klems at a seminar last fall. He just got his first book published, and he works for Writers Digest Books. According to Brian, once your blog is receiving 30,000 hits/month, publishers will be interested. That sounds like an insane number, but do the math, that’s 1,000/hits a day, which is still a lot, but it’s not impossible. Just a thought…

That’s very interesting to know about Brian Klems thoughts on pageviews. That is something I am very curious about– I need numbers, people, numbers! And UGH who wants to be an A-lister, really??? Haven’t they seen all the teeny bopper movies? Don’t they realize they’re just playing out the roles of prom queens and cheer captains all over the world? Psshh.

I think that’s exactly the reason for their obnoxious behavior. They most likely weren’t the prom queen or the quarterback, so now is their time to look down on everyone who hasn’t been on any bestseller lists or even been published by a traditional press because their ego never graduated from high school! 🙂 And I’ve known a couple of writers who’ve been able to obtain a contract with an indie publisher without having 3,000 strangers clicking on their blog every day, so whoever that writer was at Blog Her is full of crap. And I’d be more than happy publishing with a smaller press because they’re more supportive of their writers from what I understand.
Ciao!
~TB

I read that paragraph aloud to The Boyfran and he just fell backward on the couch and covered his face with his hands. That’s exactly what I would have done too if I hadn’t already placed my uninvited hand into a frightened strangers.

Well, well, well – – you really underplayed how much your Pathfinder track sucked when we spoke in person. Loved this recap and especially the part where Surly girl links arms and flounced off (I don’t think that’s made up because SG wouldn’t pass me any TP from her stall next to me.) My fave thing now that I’m home is going into public ladies rooms and leaving those “I’m Enough” mirror stickers (I swiped a stack of them at closing) in plain view. You’d be surprised how many women interpret that to mean they don’t need to wash their hands. Ew.
Stephanie

Yeah…I blew off Kerry Washington, and Ariana, and well most keynotes. Didn’t miss Jenny Lawson though. Sounds like maybe I missed something in the afternoon portion of the Pathfinder…but not enough to turn around that sinking ship. That dude owes us all $150 back and the right to punch him in the face.

😉 I would not do well in a large group Aussa. I would retreat and stare at all of you. Then you would all be staring back….wondering why I was staring at you. We’d all be very uncomfortable. When all I would be thinking is STOP STARING AT ME. 😉

Loved this. Glad you had a kickass time in my hometown minus a shitty first day speaker with an ego trip and a few rude ignorant girls fresh out of mannerectomy surgery. Hope you enjoyed your visit here aside from all the blogher fun. Hope San Jose treated you well in general is I guess what I am sayin Aussa. LOL.
Be well and keep writing/inspiring.

So, I’ve held in my whines because I am not a whiney girl. I’m a non whiney girl, but I am a little more than a little bit bummed it didn’t work out for me to go. Mainly because I need to hang with you and GG: champagne, dancing on corners, not wearing underwear, giving strangers on street corners money….it’s like we’re sisters.

I hear of a bloppie retreat in the works. If you guys go, I will NOT miss it. Unless of course my loving family effs that up for me, too. Kidding, kind of.

And this is just an observation…I think it’s impossible for you to take a bad photo, so if we do ever meet, you are not allowed to take a picture with me. I hate being the ugly one in the pic.

I know! We were seriously holding our breath up until the last second, hoping you were going to be able to come! Such a bummer. I oh so so so hope that the Bloppie Meetup happens! It absolutely must.

And okay I totally take bad photos. I just immediately delete them and swear an oath to never think of them again. Just kidding– though I was telling GG that I think it’s important to share less than flattering or at least kind of weird photos of yourself. I think it’s a nice way to take the pressure off and get okay with not always being perfect looking. Clearly I need to share more unflattering selfies… we should dedicate a day for that. Unflattering Fridays, or something.

Hi Aussa- There is a dick-less wonder in every crowd telling us we will never make it. What utter crap my dear, you are a great writer. I only hope Arthritis never fecks with your spontanaity- I remember fondly hero shots on ledges. I think, as a limping old lady who looks and feels like a tram-smash I would have been a wallflower there. Random House will call, just got to believe. Very funny observations, thanks.

What, stop that! No speak of tram-smash (though what hilarious word usage there)! This comment is quite infuriatingly showing up as anonymous, please hold while I stalk the IP…

Worzelodd! Hello! Okay, I hate that you have arthritis 🙁
and I know that you do not look like a tram-smash and you would not have been a wallflower because someone like me would have wandered up to you and said “how many breakfasts did you have today? I had two.” And then we could talk about how awful people are.

You, my dear, were the first blogging friend I met this year and what can I say. Is it okay if I out you as a super nice person (I think they already know that you’re gorge and whatever’s the hip way to say hilarious..)? I truly wish I had spent more time with you. Next year?

Aw, yay! I was so eager when you posted on facebook about needing breakfast– I was like “Me! Pick me!” I suppose you can let people know I’m not a completely terrible person… but we can’t let it ruin my street rough image and all that.

It definitely made for good people watching! For the most part it just seemed very non-intimidating and just like a bunch of people who’d met at a friends house before going to dinner or something. If that makes any sense at all.

So nice to have met you! Wish we could have actually chatted. Congrats on the VOTY – that was by far one of my fave things about the conference was hearing people’s amazing stories. Some of the classes, like you said, were hit or miss with relevant info, but overall the networking and friendships were the best part for sure!

Yes, I’m so glad we eventually found each other! The people at my table were like “what are you doing?” because I kept messaging you and being like “I’m standing up in the middle of the room.” Hahahaha awkward.

I wish we’d gotten a chance to actually talk, as well! August friended me on facebook so at least that connection was sort of made 🙂 I looked up her podcast and she really does seem rather kick ass.

Yeah, like the SJPD don’t have any, you know, crime to deal with… So they sit around all day waiting for beautiful out of town bloggers to jaywalk so that they can arrest them and make the world safe for democracy. Please.
I’m glad you enjoyed your visit to California. When I read over the weekend about the fourteen people getting struck by lightning in SoCal, I just yawned and said Aussa must be here, so it wasn’t earthquakes after all.

Ah, thank you 🙂 And I know! So much of it was a whirlwind! Too many people to meet and spend nine hours exchanging life stories with! I think that in the future I will be much more strategic with planning on meeting up with people and exchanging contact info beforehand.

Geez, why so shy, Aussa? Did you have to hold back? Hehe. Were you serious about that guy’s arrogance and dream squashing? Was he a speaker at the conf? I’m attending a writer’s conference in October. I have to make sure he’s not going to be there. Or, maybe he’d be fun to heckle.

Don’t forget that Mr. “My Blog Pays the Mortgage on my House” also told us the following:

1) People who fish are much more intelligent than deer hunters.

2) He hasn’t had to buy meat or fish for his family for ten years because he is such an excellent hunter/angler (one wonders if his family ever eats venison).

3) Publishing houses get into bidding wars for his books – because he is just that good.

I also found nearly everyone attending to be charming – except for the group of mean girls who were standing in front of one of the covered seating areas at the closing party. When we passed them to sit down on one of the EMPTY couches, one hissed at me, “These are OCCUPIED!” I gestured at the seating area – which again, was TOTALLY empty – and asked WHICH seats they were occupying? At that point, they decided that spending any more time in my company was totally ruining their McDonald’s induced carb-high and they hastily walked away, casting evil glares my way.

However, two other gals came over almost immediately and sat down to socialize – trading cards and telling us about their business and blog. She was a professional organizer who did a lot of work for high profile people/celebrities – so much so that she has to always sign confidentiality agreements. If she can find a legal way around those, she would have the makings of an excellent book!

Haha! I only just remembered the mortgage part a few minutes ago, dangit! I should have put that on the list 😉

Any time he started actually talking about the hunting and fishing (which was most of the time I guess) I totally spaced out. My mind was just sounding this incessant alarm of NOT RELEVANT NOT RELEVANT.

That stinks about the party situation– When it first started (when I’d only had like one sangria) I was not in the dancing mood so I skulked off to a couch area and sat next to a girl and was like “Is this the place for people who don’t feel like dancing?” I should have looked for you!

That sounds interesting about the woman you met– I want to be a professional organizer! Except… well… I would probably not be so great at that, ha.

I’m a little bummed I didn’t learn more about self-publishing… I know that a fair amount of people that I’m not too-many-degrees-of-separation away from have found success at it. If I get to that point, I’ll be scouring the interwebs and people’s good graces for any advice I get! Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Melanie.

Haha! I know! It was actually Julie that first noticed it I think– I need to go back and give her credit for that discovery. Once she mentioned it, I couldn’t help but hear it every 15 seconds. Our entire table (of strangers, originally) was laughing our arses off as quietly as possible.

I only managed to ingest 2 jello shots (which means like 1 total, since half of it was left in the cup) which is a damn shame because I helped stack those little bastards in the fridge and that’s no easy task.

Goats I can help you with, always.

Also! I loved your keynote (may have already mentioned that) and am regretting that I am too terrified of standing in lines/being near the Hairfinity booth to be amongst all my friends who got their breasteses signed by you. Maybe next time. Please do a book signing in a cemetery or somewhere else that I would be more comfortable.

This definitely was a great read. I wish I could come and hang out with you at BlogHer; you ladies seem to know how to party! And I can’t belief you didn’t enjoy Mr. A-hole Author! Next time, I invite all of you to come and listen to me talk about how wonderful and great my Worthless Advice Blog is!

Thanks for the recap and glad to see you are still a raging alcoholic who wants to text nude selfies to her boyfriend! (My wife loves that part!)

That’s a mouthful to say all in one breath. Just think you could have gotten ten posts out of this one and here you’ve used them all up. Knowing you. I am sure that you will have much more to say. This is probably just the trailer for the upcoming movie: I Climbed Mount BlogHer-est. And what you do mean you aren’t sexy. Isn’t funny and smart sexy?

WE WILL PUBLISH! WE WILL! And not just so we can prove him wrong. (But also partly that.) Loved your recap. Love YOU! You made my Thursday so much better. My only regret is that I was so busy taking pictures of you and Flat Sarah that I didn’t get one of the two of us. Next time. xoxo

Oh my gosh, I actually had this manic moment at the wordpress booth where I said exactly that. I was practically stomping my foot, insisting that I would someday publish. Maybe that was his intention all along… to motivate us with insults… what a nice guy 😉

And I kind of can’t believe we didn’t get a photo together of just the two of us!!! Though I believe I do have a group shot with you on fb but shhhhh 😉

I just LOVED reading all of this Aussa! I cannot believe that guy was so beligerantly selfish and rude and what a waste of Blogher’s investment. Doesn’t that go completely against the mission of Blogher’s “You are Enough?” Ugh. What a waste of time… I so loathe people like that.

Awful.

LOVE all the other stuff! So fun, so hilarious, and incredibly AMAZING!!

I LOVE your fish mouth photo bombs!! PRICELESS!!! Anxious to see the video!!!

Such a good point, Christine. I made the connection with the botox but I didn’t even think to drive it home how he so thoroughly insulted us, our writing, and our goals– whilst we were supposedly being built up. Pssh.

And I’m glad you approve of the fish bombs! Though I really need to practice something new… otherwise my face could get stuck like that.

I’m going to Minnesota for two weeks in August to see my dying uncle— brain cancer, it’s a bitch.

But also my mom in law is getting her PhD in my hometown because my hometown has an assload of graduate colleges. So I get to see my mom in law, my step father in law, and my entire family while only going to one play instead of all over the country. So it should be interesting >:D

That sounds like a whirlwind! I’m sorry to hear about your Uncle. It should be nice to see so much family without having to jet all over the place. So many birds, one stone. Probably lots of stories when you get back.

Oh my gosh, that would be hilarious if a pair of women were to found BlogHim. “Too many women, we can’t handle it!” I think more than anything, The Boyfran wants to meet YOU, hahahahahahaha not kidding!

Well, there’s your start point. Go for it I reckon. I know there aren’t near as many blokes blogging as women, so you could probably round up the whole lot. Ned Hickson, Don Of All Trades, Hook, you know, the usual suspects. And then you and GG could do the whole pay-the-extra-to-hear-from-the-legend-blogger-guest-spot thing prior, like your deer growing, fruit hunting douchebag mate. It could totally work if you could just stop us all basiclly just getting up and going on about our favourite women bloggers. You could even get Boyfran to talk about what it’s like to live in the shadow of a legendary blogperson.

Ooooh, he could be headed into dangerous waters there, I’d rather chew my own arm off than compete alongside you in this game.

btw, on a completely unrelated note, a lot of my usuals failed to show up after my last post, aside from my deepest fear of everyone finally seeing the light and wandering off into the ether and never reading anything I write ever again…yeah, so ASIDE from that, I was wondering whether or not I turned up in your reader? Maybe it’s WordPress that hates me…waaahhh…

p.s. organise BlogHim for mid August next year will you please, that way I can pop in on my way home from Sturgis.

Right? That’s what was so incredible about the entire situation… we didn’t even know she existed until she started barging in and yammering on. It was a surreal sort of moment for me… I very much do not like people A) Touching me without my permission, or B) feeling entitled to comment on my decisions or behavior. Nope, not okay. Prepare to be shoved across a broken glass crosswalk.

There’s only one explanation. I read this book once by an anthropologist called Kate (just Kate to me – not at all because I’ve completely forgotten the surname but just because we’re that close) and she went around deliberately breaking social taboos in order to note how people reacted. So she might deliberately bump into someone, or try to cut in at the front of a cue. And then she wrote this pop anthropology book on being English. And it was great!

So I reckon those guys were actually anthropologists and well, you know how competitive that industry can be, they have to go out and make their own work. Don’t be surprised if you see a book on the anthropology of blogger conferences on your shelves soon.

Oh! Do you think the whole good cop/bad cop routine at that seminar was part of it, too? I mean this Kate I’m talking about didn’t do it on her own. Some of the experiments were conducted by friends and relatives.

I enjoy grumpy selfies. And all sorts of unflattering selfies. I think it’s good for you, it’s like giving yourself permission to not be perfect all the time– who wants that anyways?

I’m glad (I think) that I wasn’t as tall as you thought! Probably a combination of practical shoes and poor posture. And that’s funny that I seemed comet-like… I suppose looking back it did feel like I was zipping around quite a bit.

Loved this (and all the tweets whilst you were there). Sounds like you guys had a great time. Except for that douche who talked about self-publishing a book. I read that bit and pretty much started crying… I’d like to go there one day and if you point him out to me, I’ll kick him in the nuts.

Love this. The thought of hitting a conference for bloggers? Who me?! But you make it sound like more fun than free cocktails and 80% off already reduced prices at Nordstrom Rack (and even that has never happened!) Just loved reading this! (And how stupid for the guy at the super-duper-special-extra pre-conference to suck so hard? This is the third post I’ve read lambasting him and I don’t read that much. It’s like streaking the iPhone store and being surprised that someone snapped a picture… who acts like an ass in front of a thousand BLOGGERS? Someone who wants to be crapped on by a bunch of bloggers, that’s who. But some guys like that, I hear…)
Awesome post!

Oh wow, there are others? I read one other post by someone else I know and it was kind of hilarious but sadly very accurate. I almost– ALMOST– feel bad for the guy. But only a little. He should have known better than to insult a room full of people who spend every ounce of their free time sharing their opinion on the interwebs.

I can’t even count how many times I’ve been told my dreams were ‘delusional’ or that I needed to ‘be realistic’. However, twice that amount of people have told me to reach EVEN HIGHER and it’s these people that make me think that I can actually get somewhere with my blogging (and with my life). I appreciate your candidness (not only in this post) because I was wondering if it would be worth it to attend this conference seeing as I have hardly any followers and aren’t really known in the blogging community.

Always reach higher, always push yourself more. I don’t have to think very hard at all to come up with numerous examples of things I was able to make happen just by putting significant thought and effort into them (OH MY LORD DO I SOUND LIKE THE ASSHOLE? That’s not how I mean this). I think that the networking aspect of the conference is by far the best part– and it’s not just for people who know a ton of other bloggers. There are people from all stages of the game. Though it does help to get to know people and network before– that’s something BlogHer is really good at: They had skype chats and twitter chats and a facebook group and you could basically obsess over it all but also make some solid connections before you ever even got there.

You have a built in audience to buy your book right here! Fuck that guy with his self important bullshit. Chuck Palaniuk was offered $15,000 for Fight Club as an insult but he took it because it was better than nothing. Now he has like 15 books and 3 or 4 movies.

I actually stopped what I was doing at work and sat down so I could blush and geek out properly when I read that tweet about you and Gunmetal Geisha talking about me. And then I told some co-workers and they were like, “YOU’RE on Twitter? And have a blog? Why?”

I have every intention of going to BlogHer next year, if only to meet you guys!

I always love the Chuck Palahniuk story. He’s built an entire empire now, doing his own thing just the way he wants.

You’re so funny, that’s awesome! It’s always nice to hear when people are thinking or saying good things about you though! It’s kind of a good reminder to let people know, I guess, haha. And yep– you should go! Way too much fun happened.

Spot on recap! And what is it about getting a few thousand bloggers together that seems to make the awkward exponentially multiply? In fact, I think I bum-rushed you in the bathroom with my business card all OMG, YOU ARE SO FUNNY while you were clearly just trying to get to the sink to wash your hands. So…sorry ’bout that :).

It’s definitely like a big melting pot of awkward. And you’re so funny, I thought it was awesome when you came up to me in the bathroom (weird statement?), that seemed to be where a lot of the action went down (even weirder statement?) Never apologize 🙂

I did not officially meet you but now I wish I had! I did see you around the conference though and well, now I feel pretty compelled to read this here blog! So good job. 😀 And I don’t think you need botox, you are totally enough! 😉

I’m enough, huzzah! And dang, I wish we’d met too! I feel like I have so many people to stalk and make plans with before the next conference 🙂 But I don’t want to wait a year, argh. For the conference, I mean. Stalking can happen year round.

Hi Aussa! I hope you remember me. I had drinks with you and your gang right after the Pathfinders Day, where you learned that “nope!” was the answer to the “how can I write a book” question! I loved your recap. It was great meeting you!

I’m so glad I had the chance to come back and read again (I kept getting interrupted the first time!)
First of all–I had the wrong name in my reply back to you–Gunmetal Geisha is who I meant! Sorry GG!

Can I get all fan-gushy on you? Seriously, lady, you could be up on that stage someday. Not only do you have the basic writerly talents and following, but you have the charisma, humility and grace (or non-grace!) that make people want to know and learn from you. I’m being completely serious here, Aussa. You don’t know how I have time to run three blogs? I don’t know how you have time to keep up with your readership and make every single one of us feel like an old friend when you take the time to reply back. You have a gift and you are always so gracious to share.
You rock and don’t ever let any douche-bag-just-cuz-I’m-published dork make you feel otherwise. Besides…20 million followers will not be a problem for you. Especially once those pictures for the boyfran get released!!!
So good! Thanks for sharing!!
xo

Oh but you are like old friends! That’s the crazy thing. I think about other bloggers throughout my day and will re-tell you all’s stories or make reference to you in conversation with The Boyfran. Is that creepy? Alas, it’s true.

You’re too kind, Michelle! But thank you 🙂 AND OMG those pictures better not leak, I will die. At least they were only….. partially racy. I mean, I was up against a deadline, no time for acrobatics.

I do the same with my blogger buddies and my hubby. He will give me a sideways “I’m not always sure about your little world” glance, but he does love hearing your stories!!!
As for pictures, acrobatics are overrated anyway. Boys like boobs. Simple pictures of boobies work every time.;)

What was with the water situation! I swear, I am still dehydrated from that desert like space. Next year, I will remember. I’m going to bring one of those camelbackpacks with the long straw and I’ll charge my fellow bloggers $2 a sip. That’s what I call blog monetization.

MY STOMACH HURTS! O.M.G. What a fuuuuuun post! Been to four BlogHer’s in a row….and you nailed it….except Kerry Washington is most def a badass activist who would grab Lady O by the shirt if she was against one of her passion projects. Totally enjoyed your view! #moreplease

Okay, now I’m more miserable than ever. First I was sad I wasn’t able to go. Now I’m upset coz it was so much fun!

I will lie awake tonight thinking of all the fun that could’ve been had at the douchebag’s expense and how many things I could’ve said to the AW@C. Hell, I even have a list of reasons why underwear is a pain in the arse!

You’re so gonna have to make it up to me when you come to India! I’ll take a week off and we’ll go traipsing around town drinking Solan No. 1!

Looks like it was a lot of fun and sounds like you had a great time…and I’m glad you didn’t let the spoilers ruin it for you. Now about those ladies in your Dirty Details section. For the ladies at the bathroom…sounds like a scene from the movie Mean Girls…don’t you just want to trip them sometimes ;).

For the ones who got their panties in a knot because of the way you crossed the street, too bad that guy with the weed wasn’t around to pass it to them so they could have relaxed a bit.

Well the book guy sure seemed to be a dick. The street guy seemed to be a stoner. The magician seemed to be a scammer. I’m glad you only gave him a buck, Aussa.

Look at me, concentrating on the three men you saw at BlogHer. Go figure!

It sounds like one hell of a great party, my friend. Yay for you all who knew enough to find your fun away from the official stuff. Lip enhancement brochures in the SWAG bags? They ought to be ashamed of themselves.

Umm… Well, first off, I just hit my head on the leg of a wooden chair during my first attempt to lay down on the carpet. I was successful in my second attempt, but then started reading this. Hopefully there’s no blood on the carpet, because I’m staying at my grandmother’s right now, and that would be hell to get out. I am feeling lightheaded and headachy, though, so I want you to know that if I pass out, it’s all your fault.

On a lighter note, that was a great post, especially the video. It sounds like such fun. Someday I am hpoefully going to be publicly crazy enough to do all those things. Also, a link to my actual blog time after next… Scary. (Although I think the craziness of my family has created something worth reading.)

Aw, thank you! And yes– I think I will have an exponentially larger list of people to be sure and connect with next year! Already looking forward to it 🙂 It’s crazy… didn’t they open up VOTY submissions last December or so? That will be here before we know it!!!

I can’t even remember! I know it seemed like forever before I got the VOTY notice. And then I had a mini heart attack! I’ll be reading your work more often, now that I know about you. And btw, you have the most awesome collection of people commenting in this blog with the best bloggy names. Have an awesome week, Aussa.

Compelling read as usual. I do not understand how Arnold’s friend buys his meat without a store? Does he lure it into a pit, have it rub lotion on itself and then ring the dinner bell? Awesome post as usual.

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[…] the special needs mini-con, another big blow out in the midlife mini-con, and yet another in the publishing pathfinder day. These bloggers want to speak their mind since they invested in the conference just like anyone […]

[…] anytime someone who’s not your gender looks like they’re having more fun than you. There’s a blog conference that appeals largely to women? THAT IS SO SEXIST. How dare a bunch of females get together and hang out without inviting the men. […]

[…] who’s not your gender looks like they’re having more fun than you. There’s a blog conference that appeals largely to women? THAT IS SO SEXIST. How dare a bunch of females get together and hang out without inviting the men. […]

[…] who’s not your gender looks like they’re having more fun than you. There’s a blog conference that appeals largely to women? THAT IS SO SEXIST. How dare a bunch of females get together and hang out without inviting the men. […]