Yesterday my daughter described a disagreement she was having with a friend at camp. She exclaimed that her friend’s idea was “so stupid!” I remarked that her words were not very descriptive of the point she was trying to make and rather likely to stir up anger in her friend, making things worse. I suggested…

When bad things happen, smart women, sometimes, unwittingly make it harder on themselves. Bad things happen to everyone—it’s part of life. As much as they may prepare, work hard, and try to do the right thing, bad things may still happen to them and to those they care about. After something bad happens, women tend…

Do you find it hard to ask for help? Many smart people, especially women, are more comfortable offering or providing assistance than they are receiving and accepting it. Four Common Reasons Smart People Don’t Ask for Help In reflecting on many conversations I’ve had with my clients over the years, I believe there are four…

“If you want to be happy at work, find flow.” You’ve probably heard this advice before. But, what is flow? Let’s go to the source. In this book note, I summarize the key elements of flow as described in Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. He and his colleagues have conducted numerous studies…

A useful metaphor for an effective time management strategy for women popped into my head while on a trip to the beach this summer. I was reflecting on the subset of my clients who are particularly adept at managing their time. In spite of how busy they are, they always remain poised and organized–able to…

I decided to re-read my yellowed copy of Alan Lakein’s How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life after having read several newer but disappointing time-management books. While published in 1973, its advice is not only succinct and helpful, but still relevant today. Consider these statements: “I feel like I waste so much…

I didn’t realize that for most of my career I’d felt like a fraud until I began to help a number of smart women with imposter syndrome build their self-confidence. I thought I was the only one who believed that the admissions officers at my undergraduate and graduate schools had probably made a mistake. I…

When I first heard about William Deresiewicz‘s Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of the American Elite and the Way to a Meaningful Life, I assumed it was yet another critique of Millennials. But, when a friend I respect strongly recommended it to me and loaned me his copy, I thought I’d give it a skim. I soon found I couldn’t put it down. Indeed, Deresiewicz does describe how elite…

In this video, Stacy explains how moms returning to the workforce can build authentic confidence. For the mom who has taken a career break, the job search can be especially daunting. Even those who once had successful careers feel their confidence wane. They are often told to “fake it ’til you make it” or “be…

It’s ironic that I’m suggesting that women can build confidence by thinking like a scientist. I was a research scientist for most of my career, but during that time I felt far from confident. That’s because I was also a perfectionist. I wanted things to go right the first time, so I spent too much time preparing…