1. You let too much irritate you

It's easy to feel irritated when he leaves the toilet seat up, or get furious when she takes too much time getting ready. But to keep your relationship strong, you need to recognise that these things are so trivial and peripheral to everything that actually matters, that they're far better ignored. Try thinking: "This is a minor irritation, but I am still so happy to be in this relationship."

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2. You don't *really* talk to each other

You likely talk about a lot of things, but rarely talk about real feelings and emotion. Watch the news together, read the papers or listen to podcasts and discuss what you think about the ideas in them. Rather than texting throughout the day, save up bits of gossip or information so you can talk about it later. One of the greatest joys in a good relationship is verbal communication, so do everything you can to keep it fresh.

3. You argue at night

This is dangerous territory because when we're tired, overwrought or just a bit boozed up, we tend to say things we don't totally mean and end up regretting – and the ensuing row is rarely productive. Have an argument curfew of 9pm. If either of you raises anything contentious after that, agree you will come back to the subject in the morning. Often it doesn't seem that important in the cold and sober light of day.

Parents can only get in the way of a happy relationship if you let them

4. You let your parents get way too involved

Couples need to tackle this together: agree on how much contact you're going to have with your parents and stick to it. If one of your mothers keeps phoning or dropping in, then her child needs to be the one to calmly address it. One way is to give her a date two weeks away when she is invited to dinner, but also to say that you won't be seeing her in the meantime because you're too busy.

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5. You've stopped trying to be romantic

New couples love being romantic: they ring up just to say 'I love you', leave notes for each other, text flirty photos. Unfortunately, real life can get in the way of romance, and we can find that we've lost the romantic habit without even realising it. It doesn't take much to start doing more things that make you feel closer as a couple: kiss when you get home or before leaving the house, hold hands when you watch TV, give each other compliments. Get out for a 'date' regularly – once a month, or once a week if you can. Even if you have children and have to get a babysitter, an evening to yourselves where you ban all talk of the kids can work wonders.

6. You've let sex become stale

Busy people tend to 'do' sex the same way because it's quick and it works, but this can lead to boring sex that you don't really get excited about. To spice things up, take turns to decide on a 'menu' of love. That way, each of you will be getting more of what you want, and it should build some creativity and inventiveness into the process. You could also try reading each other erotic stories, trying sex toys, luxurious lube or just trying a new position. Above all, make time for sex so it's not just an afterthought.

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7. You don't talk about money in the same way

Sure, you had a big money talk in the beginning, when you decided who would pay for what and out of which accounts. But have you recently checked in on the money front? Perhaps your circumstances have changed: one or both of you makes more or less than you did in the beginning, and it's leading to unspoken resentment. Money issues are sited in many divorce cases, so try to talk about any financial anxieties or irritations before they become major problems.

8. You've stopped trying to impress each other

Think back to how you used to act when you were first dating – how long it took you to get ready and what you wore. You may realise that the two of you rarely dress up for each other or make much of an effort with appearance. This can lead to problems because it can indicate a loss of consideration for each other's opinions. If you spend all of your time together in slobby tracksuit bottoms (and there's not a new baby around to blame!) make a pact that you will both smarten yourselves up from time to time.

9. You don't say 'thank you' enough

Often, we get into the habit of taking each other for granted and forget to say thank you when our other half does something thoughtful. Saying 'thank you' increases respect between couples, which is a vital component in any happy relationship.

10. You don't do anything fun as a couple

You probably organise special events for friends and family, but what about with your spouse? Companionship is one of the great bonuses of a good relationship. Try to organise things so you have time to do some activities as a couple. Take up a new hobby or just go on a day trip somewhere new to reminder yourselves whi

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