Why My Boyfriend and I Don’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day

I can already see the excessive eye rolling from the title. Just hear me out. First, I don’t hate Valentine’s day. I have no reason to. People assume I’m single when I say I don’t celebrate it—but the truth is I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over two years. Then people assume that my boyfriend and I aren’t romantic, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Our reasons for not celebrating Valentine’s Day couldn’t be more simple. So simple that I can boil it down to three main reasons:

I don’t need Valentine’s Day to eat chocolate:

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m a dessert connoisseur. I have never met a dessert or chocolate candy I didn’t like. I also believe in treating yourself daily, so most of my days incorporate chocolate or dessert. Why should Josh buy me a pound of sponge candy when I already have four pounds of it at home? It’s unnecessary. If you want to buy me chocolate, feel free, but don’t discriminate against the other 364 days out of the year.

I don’t need Valentine’s Day to have a special day with my boyfriend:

Being in a long distance relationship has taught me so much about appreciating every moment when we have our visits. When someone asks why we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, I tell them that there’s no need when we celebrate “Valentine’s Day” 24 times throughout the year when we visit each other. Every visit feels like Valentine’s Day because it’s special. Why have a romantic day just because it’s February 14th? You should be able to do that any day of the year.

I don’t need Valentine’s Day to express my appreciation for someone:

I love cards. I love gifts. I love giving cards and gifts. For the longest time, I kept every card I received since I was 16 because that’s how much every individual card meant to me. But, if I truly want to send a card, buy a gift, or do a kind gesture for Josh, it’s not going to be because there’s a holiday around the corner. I would rather have it be a spontaneous gesture when they’re least expecting it instead of anticipating the card to come because of Valentine’s Day.

The bottom line:

It’s perfectly fine if you celebrate Valentine’s Day. I’m not hating on couples who celebrate this holiday. I essentially celebrate it with my friends because I think it’s far more fun! However, Josh and I both have always felt this way about Valentine’s Day, and we think it’s an unnecessary holiday if you’re committed to expressing gratitude and love for each other consistently throughout the year.

Regardless of how you spend Valentine’s Day, I hope you enjoy it! Leave a comment below saying how you celebrate/or don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Thanks so much for your comment! I’m glad you understood where I was coming from. It’s more about the mentality that people don’t go out of their way to show love, gratitude and appreciation for their partner throughout the year…but they do only on Valentine’s Day.

Lilly’s Home Design

I really feel like Valentines day is one of those holidays where gift giving feels more like an obligation than from the heart and it sucks to give or receive a thoughtless, last minute gift just because you have to! I mean last year was one of the few times the V day gift from my husband was really heart felt and it made me weepy but it was because we had just bought our first house and we were still very emotional and lovey dovey about the whole thing aside from that it’s pretty much him getting home late from work because he had to go buy waaaaay toooooo expensive V day roses and a box of chocolates, hell and I never know what to get him because guys don’t want flowers, it’s so much harder for me to think of a gift that signifies love. Yep Valentines day is such a cliche!

I definitely understand where you’re coming from with the gifts! I also hate how it’s about flowers and chocolate. Like I mentioned, I LOVE my chocolate and desserts…but why is there a day of there year where that’s the main focus for a holiday? Same goes for flowers…if I want some flowers, I can buy them myself. Or, I would want them randomly for a “just because” gift. It’s much more meaningful that way.

There’s at least one person who smiled when they read the title! I really love this. I’m with you… if a couple wants to celebrate Valentine’s Day, that’s totally fine, but I also think it’s an unnecessary holiday. You don’t need a special day to do all of the things that Valentine’s Day is known for.

Exactly! And thanks so much for leaving a sweet comment, Crystal! I truly appreciate it. It is definitely unnecessary if you’re in a relationship where you express gratitude and appreciation for each other every day. I’m glad to know there are other people out there who understand where I’m coming from!

My papi is also my original Valentine growing up. He still buys me chocolate and a card each year. Of course, I’m not mad about it because who doesn’t want some chocolate! I just never understood couples who treat Valentine’s Day like the most important day to express love and appreciation for someone. Why can’t we do that all-year long? Thanks so much for your comment.

Goodness, love this. My sweet husband and I dated long distance for two years – about a 7 hour drive from each other – and I totally agree, every time we saw each other was so sweet and special. It felt like Valentine’s Day!

Exactly! Although we see each other once or twice a month, those visits are always special! They always feel like a special Valentine’s Day for that month, haha! Thanks so much for your sweet comment, Mary!

Ana Valentin

I have the same ideas on valentine’s Day myself. Everyday essentially feels like V-Day because of how much my bf and I decide to devoting our appreciation and love to each other .Every morning we wake up with an I love and a positive affirmation. We got to bed with the same routine. It really connects us and makes me feel special. Plus… we’re choco-holics… no way would we only eat it special for feb 14

I couldn’t agree with you more, Ana! That’s exactly how I feel about my relationship with my boyfriend. It’s great to know that there are other couples out there who feel the same way that we do! Thanks so much for your comment!

I like February 15th more than Valentine’s Day, because that is the day my boo thang and I actually made eyes at each other and decided we liked each other! But you are so right – we don’t need a Hallmark card to celebrate love!

Thanks so much for your comment, Nina! I truly appreciate it! That’s so sweet that you guys know the day that you both decided you liked each other! Now you have a special attachment to February. But you’re right, you can get a card in June just because you realize how wonderful your boyfriend is! It definitely doesn’t have to be because of Valentine’s Day.

Hahaha “Why should Josh buy me a pound of sponge candy when I already have four pounds of it at home?” PREACH. The only time I cared about Valentine’s day (and this is silly) was when I worked in this huge corporate office and was the person responsible for signing for every stupid vase of flowers and box of chocolates that got delivered. I would get so grumpy because Tom wouldn’t send anything to me…. until one year when he realized how much I felt “left out” (told you it was silly) and he picked me up from work for a long lunch that he had okay-ed with my boss. He took me to a French restaurant and it was the sweetest thing. Now we just acknowledge it. We play a round of the newlywed game in our jammies or grab some brunch. Cuz let’s be real, I keep my own GD chocolate around here.

I always found it confusing that people think receiving chocolate from a guy (on one random day of the year) means he loves you. Again, don’t get me wrong because I LOVE my dessert and chocolate. But I don’t think it represents love in any way. Just an opinion of course.

I’m single but I always thought that we put so much emphasis on Valentine’s Day that I feel like it adds so much pressure when really everyday should be about love and I will eat chocolate everyday haha

Big Jon and I don’t celebrate much either. Its a little like New Years for me – too many expectations that are never met. The constant pursuit of something very unimportant. I can love on him every day 🙂

Yes, so agree! There is so much unnecessary pressure on Valentines Day as well, the prices of traditional gifts and meals out all go through the roof, etc. Relationship or not, I usually take the pass route on Valentines, except for those window cligns from the Target dollar spot… because they’re just so cute!

I definitely agree with you about there being pressure behind this day as well. I can’t tell you how many times guys have told me they feel like they’re expected to buy gifts for a person they’ve been on a few dates with just because of the “holiday.” It’s completely unnecessary! Thanks so much for your comment!

While I see your reasoning for not celebrating Valentine’s Day, I completely enjoy it and look forward to it every year. I know it’s just another commercialized holiday, but it gives some people a reason to get out of the house or even just gives couples the opportunity to show the person they love that they appreciate them. It doesn’t have to be about gifts, either! It’s just nice to have a holiday totally centered around love. I also like that Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to just be between a couple… my parents were my Valentine’s growing up! I enjoyed reading your perspective though and hope you have an awesome weekend!

My papi has always been my Valentine, too, so I totally understand that. I don’t understand when people say they use it as a “reason” or an “excuse” to go on a date/show appreciation. I appreciate my boyfriend every day, and if I want to show appreciation or have a fun, spontaneous date, it shouldn’t be on a fake holiday…it will be on March 8, April 25, May 1, June 17…It should be any day and every day. I definitely appreciate your comment though, Kayla! And it’s perfectly fine that people celebrate it!

My husband and I have yet to have a Valentine’s Day together. Ever. He’s a police officer in the Marine Corps and his schedule interferes with it every single year. The first two years, he was working and then this year, he’ll be deployed. So we don’t do anything for Valentine’s Day haha but I’ve had a lot of people think it’s strange that we don’t celebrate it or do gifts or anything like that. We only do gifts for Christmas. All other holidays, birthdays, anniversary, and special occasions, we celebrate with extra time together.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience with Valentine’s Day! As hard as it may be to have such limited time with your husband, I’m sure you understand that when you do get to see each other, it is incredibly precious. Josh and I are the same with gifts for Christmas. For birthdays and our anniversary, we typically treat each ourselves to a massage.

Thanks so much for your comment, Katy! I’m so glad you understood where I was coming from with this post! I was worried people were going to take my thoughts the wrong way and get incredibly offended! But, I’m glad to hear you enjoyed reading it!

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I believe it's important to find your bliss in life. You should do what makes your soul happy. I created this blog to bring a little bliss to your life with posts on beauty, fashion and life. Feel free to email me: theblissfullybrunetteblog@gmail.com