(d) The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery. It should never be festooned, drawn back, nor up, in folds, but always allowed to fall free. Bunting of blue, white, and red, always arranged with the blue above, the white in the middle, and the red below, should be used for covering a speaker’s desk, draping the front of the platform, and for decoration in general.

(h) The flag should never be used as a receptacle for receiving, holding, carrying, or delivering anything.

(j) No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform. However, a flag patch may be affixed to the uniform of military personnel, firemen, policemen, and members of patriotic organizations. The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing. Therefore, the lapel flag pin being a replica, should be worn on the left lapel near the heart.

(k) The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.

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To anybody who has ever suffered a nip slip, Chrissy Teigen issues an apology on your behalf.

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A gift to you, Larry David: Adam Sandler is a knee-toucher. He inadvertently placed his hand on Claire Foy’s knee mid-conversation on the Graham Norton Show, and she swatted it away but not early enough for Twitter to flip. out.

Colin Kaepernick, who hasn’t been hired back to the NFL since he started the #TaketheKnee movement, has reportedly gotten a million dollar book deal. [Page Six]

Woahhh the world does not benefit from a reality show starring Casey Anthony and O.J. Simpson, a rumor that’s been going around since April. Now, her estranged parents say that if she goes ahead with it and/or sells her life story, they plan to sue. [The New York Post]

Sexbots are “cold, like a corpse,” so they gave Harmony 2.1 a Scottish accent to humanize her because Scots are warm, like humans. Harmony 2.1 will retail between nine to 19,000 dollars. [The Sun]

A source told the Sun that Mick Jagger is banging a 22-year-old. [The Sun]

Jeez god. ISIS threatened Prince George and sent out his school address, and unrelatedly a USB was found outside Heathrow airport containing details of the Queen’s travelings. [The Sun]

In lighter news, here’s a harrowing Princess Diana anecdote from the former royal chef: “I remember the Princess came into the kitchen one day and said, ‘Cancel lunch for the boys I’m taking them out, we’re going to McDonald’s. And I said, ‘Oh my god your royal highness, I can do that, I can do burgers.’” [Marie Claire]

JFK’s personal secret service agent says he liked clam chowder and still maintains that Kennedy did not bang Marilyn Monroe. Also, he think Lee Harvey Oswald did it alone, end of story. [TMZ]