The 'Montrose Christmas' song will make your spirits bright

Published 12:24 am, Sunday, December 24, 2017

Houston singer Gin Martini has gifted us with "Montrose Christmas," and it's everything it needs to be.

Drag queens. Karaoke. RuPaul. Glitter. Inclusiveness. This song has it all, including "lesbians with cameltoe." Listen below.

Martini, who is also a designer, set her lyrics to the tune of "The Christmas Song." She namechecks several Montrose bars and describes situations that anyone who has spent time in the neighborhood will recognize.

Read for yourself.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fireDrag queens nipping in MontroseKaraoke being sung at JR'sAnd folks dressed up ready for their showsEverybody knowsA lesbian with cameltoeHelps to make the Pearl Bar brightTiny twinks with their eyes all aglowAre dancing under South Beach spotlightThey know the RuPaul girls are on their wayThey've loaded lots of wigs and glitterAnd they come slayAnd every drag mother is going to spyTo see if her drag child is performing just rightAnd so I'm offering this simple phraseTo kids from bi to straight to gayAlthough it's been said many times, many waysMerry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry ChristmasTo you

Houston performer Gin Martini's "Montrose Christmas" is a love letter to the neighborhood.

Houston performer Gin Martini's "Montrose Christmas" is a love letter to the neighborhood.

Photo: Courtesy

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Gin Martini.

Gin Martini.

Photo: Zach Smidt

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Reid Ryan, Houston Astros president of business operations

"My all-time favorite Christmas gift was when my brother, Reese, and I got Honda 3-wheelers from my parents on Christmas Day. My dad had parked them outside, and he told us to go open the curtains and let in some light that Christmas morning. When I opened the curtains, there they sat.

I was 12 years old, and my brother was 8 years old. We lived in the country outside Alvin, and we rode those things all over the place. We used the bayous, spoil banks and county roads as our own personal super highways. It was freedom for a 12-year-old kid. We hunted doves off of them, made jumps and tracks, chased each other around the hay field and pretty much spent every waking hour riding those 3-wheelers. We had a few accidents but nothing that a trip to local Alvin emergency room couldn’t handle. In the end, we learned responsibility, safety and how to maintain a vehicle. It was the perfect gift and one I will never forget."

"Of course, it’s the Gibson Melody Maker and Fender Champ amplifier received on Christmas Day, just after the 13th birthday! I plugged it right in and figured out the intro to “What’d I Say” by Ray Charles and played on into the night as I learned to play Jimmy Reed blues numbers. Never looked back!"

"I got my first car for Christmas when I was 15 years old. It was a Christmas-slash-Hanukkah thing because we celebrated both. I got into all kinds of trouble, seeing that I didn’t have a license yet. My parents were awesome, but my mom was the best."

"Like most little girls my age at the time, I was obsessed with Barbie and Kid Sister, but the best Christmas gift I ever received, as a kid, was my Easy Bake Oven. I think I was 7 or 8 years old when I got it, and let me tell y’all, I thought I was really cooking culinary masterpieces. Brownies, cakes — the options were limitless to me. I made whatever came in those food packets with the pride of those chefs that talk trash about the other chefs on “Chopped.” It’s really funny to think about now."

"I’ve been a music-obsessive for about as long as I can remember, so any music-themed gift was guaranteed to put me over the top. I specifically remember receiving my very own mini boombox when I was 10 years old, along with a cassette of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers’ “Southern Accents” album. To this day, when I hear “Don’t Come Around Here No More,” I flash back to that Christmas morning and relive the rush of excitement I felt when I opened that box for the first time."

"When I was 11 years old, I received a race-car set from my mom and dad. It was one of my favorite gifts because I was able to race the cars against my brothers."

Sylvester Turner, Mayor of Houston

"When I was 11 years old, I received a race-car set from my mom and dad. It was one of my favorite gifts because I was able to race the cars against my brothers."

Photo: Yi-Chin Lee, Staff

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Quinn Bishop, Co-owner of Cactus Music

"I am still soaking in the warm glow of the Astros World Series victory. It means more than I really ever thought it would. Several times a week I have a conversation about it with a customer, and I feel the euphoria all over again. It’s the gift that keeps giving. I’ll often say “We did it” to a customer who is wearing an Astros cap in the store. Without hesitation, they know exactly what I mean. That joy has continued and probably feels like a Christmas present to many Houstonians."

"One year my parents bought my brother and me matching Casio keyboards. I thought I was the coolest thing on the planet. I swore I would be the next Madonna, but I was more like Ross Geller from 'Friends'."

"For me, it’s an easy one. The greatest Christmas gift ever was my daughter Sophia, who was born just after Christmas. Hard to top that one. She’s a teenager now, but she’s still greatest thing in my life."