Dementia Friendly Community or Village – What’s The Difference?

Dementia Chats Recording 3/8/16

Today our Experts living with dementia were Paulan Gordon, Harry Urban and Truthful Loving Kindness. We discussed the confusion people are having about the differences between a Dementia Friendly Community and a Dementia Village. If you watch the above YouTube in the comment section you will find additional links to both as well.

Sometimes Life is Like Circus Peanuts

By: Michelle Remold

I loved spending time at my grandparent’s house growing up, especially spending time with my grandpa. He was the “fun” grandparent and would allow us to do almost anything my grandma said we couldn’t, including sneaking us gum. One of my most vivid memories is my grandpa giving us his favorite candy, Circus Peanuts, a peanut shaped marshmallow candy. I disliked them when I was little and still don’t like them, but I quickly learned that while visiting grandpa and grandma, if grandpa wanted to give you Circus Peanuts you better take them because there was no other candy and if there was, we weren’t getting any. So I would take my handful of Circus Peanuts from my grandpa and pretend that I liked them.

As I was driving home from graduate school one night, I began to think about my grandpa and the dreadful Circus Peanuts. The more I thought about it, I realized that Circus Peanuts were a good analogy for life.

In earlier posts, I have written about how jealous I used to be of the kids in my class because their grandpa’s didn’t have Alzheimer’s and were still able to do things with them. By the time this realization hit me, my grandpa had been in the nursing home for a couple years. Little did I know that along the way, I was making memories.

By now, you are probably wondering what exactly Circus Peanuts have to with Alzheimer’s. Let me explain. I would be lying if I said that my experiences and journeys with having two grandparents with a form of dementia were easy. Truthfully, they each came with their own sets of experiences and lessons that I needed to learn and I am still learning from some of the lessons.

Much like with the Circus Peanuts, I have learned to accept what life gives me; which is often easier said than done. I still dislike Circus Peanuts, but treasure the memories associated with them. I might not like everything life throws my way, but each experience – good, bad, happy, and sad – is shaping me into the person I am becoming.

If there is a life lesson that Alzheimer’s has taught me, it’s that sometimes I just need to grab a handful of Circus Peanuts and keep on going because you never know what memories you are making or what lessons you are learning. Each time I see a bag of Circus Peanuts, I not only think of my grandpa, but also think about how Alzheimer’s has affected my life and reminds me that everything happens for a reason and though I may not know it at the time – it is shaping me. They also remind me to embrace each event in my life, good or bad, because each of these events are just handing me a bunch of Circus Peanuts and I will take each handful of Circus Peanuts and will make the best of them.

Michelle graduated from the University of Northern Iowa with her Bachelor of Arts in Gerontology: Social Sciences and a minor in Family Studies. She is currently pursuing her Master’s degree in Social Work with an emphasis in Aging from Minnesota State University Mankato.

Sky Factory Offers Relaxation & Comfort

In A Variety Of Environments

Today we have Ray Ward from the Sky Factory, who will share this fabulous technology which creates a relaxing environment most anywhere. Here from Deb Bland with Polar Ridge to her thoughts as a Marketing Director of an Assisted Living and Memory Care Community.

Life, Changes, and Family

By: Michelle Remold

We all know life is one big learning experience. As I was preparing to write this post, I sat down and re-read the papers I wrote in college for my “Perspectives on Death and Dying” class. While sifting through papers I came across the paper I wrote after reading The Wheel of Life: A Memoir of Living and Dying by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. In this paper we had to pick a quote from the book that stood out to us and state why. The quote I chose was from page 18 and it was: “Life is like going to school. You are given many lessons. The more you learn, the harder the lessons get.” This quote spoke volumes to me last week when I read it, the same way it did back when I read it for the first time.

As kids we are sometimes blissfully unaware of the things that are happening around us. However, as we grow up we start to learn lessons that shape who we will become and everyone experiences something different. My first “lesson” I learned was Alzheimer’s. Being young when my grandpa was diagnosed, I didn’t understand the disease. I just knew that I wanted to connect with my grandpa and I would eventually, as I got older, educate myself as much as I could on the disease.

The “lesson” that followed Alzheimer’s was change, which can be a hard lesson to learn. Everything changes, it doesn’t stay the same. Alzheimer’s has a way of progressing in ways you never imagined. Growing up, I knew Alzheimer’s was changing my grandpa, but everything else appeared to remain static. Suddenly you realize that things aren’t actually static and you wonder how you missed all the changes that were happening. People moving, getting married, hitting life milestones, and then you realize that you are not the only one getting older, everyone else is too which leads to the ultimate change in life, the death of a loved one. Death….it is the hardest lesson I have learned to date. I still remember the first death that truly had an impact on me like it was yesterday. It changed me, it changed my life, and it taught me a lesson I needed to learn. My grandpa’s death was the second close death I experienced. Through this I learned that while Alzheimer’s had robbed me of a grandfather growing up, it taught me so much more. Most of all it taught me love, compassion, and understanding in a capacity that I believe was greater than anything else I could have faced growing up.

Now I will touch on the third part of the title, family. I have written before about how important my family is to me. My immediate family is very small, but I have a very large extended family. My extended family is a family I am beyond grateful to have. A lesson that many people learn at some point is the importance of family and for me it has always been important. Growing up I was one of the few kids in my class who had a great-grandma and many great-aunts and uncles, I felt lucky because I had these people in my life. Fast-forward a few years and my dad’s mom now has dementia. Dementia has impacted my life once again. At some point last year it hit me that once my grandma passed away; my great-aunt will be her only living sibling. I realized that I needed to make more of an effort to visit her and her family; to make my own memories with them. I have now been to Iowa to visit them six times in the last ten months. It is time that I have come to cherish and made me realize I needed and still need to spend with them.

Truthfully, I started writing this post over a week ago and it really made me think, especially after one of my cousins passed away. This family was the same family who rallied around us when my grandma passed away in January and I watched it happen again this past week. While saying good-bye to someone you love is tough and heart wrenching, it also made my heart smile seeing the amount of love they all have for each other. Another example to me of why family is important.

Alzheimer’s brought a change into my life that I never would have expected, not only once, but twice. It helped me become the person I am today in ways that I can’t begin to describe. Change is inevitable; it might not always be wanted, but we often learn from it. As I wrote at the end of my paper, “We can take away from each experience what we are supposed to or we can decide to not accept it and miss out on what might be one of the biggest lessons we learn.” I definitely want to take away from each experience as much as I can.

So I want to thank Alzheimer’s for teaching me some of life’s toughest lessons on a larger scale; thank my family for being there through every change life has thrown my way and for being my support system as I chase my dream of helping those impacted by Alzheimer’s; and finally I want to thank anyone else who has been in my life and who has helped shape who I am today. As Flavia Weedn said, “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same.” Whether it has been people or a disease like Alzheimer’s, everyone and everything has some impact on our lives and for those impacts on my life, I am truly thankful.

Michelle graduated from the University of Northern Iowa with her Bachelor of Arts in Gerontology: Social Sciences and a minor in Family Studies. She is currently pursuing her Master’s degree in Social Work with an emphasis in Aging from Minnesota State University Mankato.

Alzheimer’s Speaks Radio -Tuesday June 23rd, 2015

11am EST, 10am CST, 9am MST, 8am PST and 4pm London Time

Join Us to Discuss Dementia/Care Farms Plus The Author Of “Don’t Leave Yet”

Welcome to Alzheimer’s Speaks Radio. We are thrilled you are going to join us. Please know on all of our shows we love to hear from our listeners. So feel free to call in or use the chat box to talk to us.

Today we have Maarten Fischer a Dutch Native who moved to Montana and will explain the concept of Dementia/Care Farms. Maarten has been involved in “Multifunctional Agriculture,” including “Care Farms.” In the Netherlands they are the largest sources of day programs with over 1500 farms empowering 30.000 clients on an annually. Contact Maarten via: Website or call 406-752-3697

Also joining the conversation will be Eilon Caspi Ph.D., Gerontologist & Dementia Behavior Specialist. Check his Websiteor his blog

Our second guest will be Constance Hanstedt author of “Don’t Leave Yet, How My Mother’s Alzheimer’s Opened My Heart,” which was named a finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards for memoir. Contact Constance

Join Us For Dementia Chats Tuesday

Dementia Chats™ was created with the intention to educate people living with dementia; their care partners both family and friends as well as professionals and advocates. Our Experts are those diagnosed with dementia.