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Funny satire stories about Sperm Bank

After the news that Britain is running out of sperm donors ISIS have moved quickly to fill the gap, sending jihadists back to the UK not to blow anything up, but to blow off.
"We are a patient terrorist group," said ISIS leader, Al an Ansen. "As w...

The new National Sperm Bank in Birmingham is to have "night deposit boxes" and sperm withdrawal A.T.M machines like any other bank, a spokesperson for the N.S.B told our sperm welfare staff this morning.
Nasty letters will be sent out to customer...

New York - The creation of a whole new species of alien clones is being sponsored by the Online Sperm Bank.
Wannabe surrogates are being recruited to help gestate thousands of new beings who will be known as the new egg and spoon race.
All part...

"I wish I had left everything alone", states one daughter of a sperm donor. "Dad was Bad! No, but he sure wasn't much to look at."
Margaret is just one of hundreds of Sperm-Donor babies that now want to find out who donated the sperm.
"It wasn'...

A worker at a Sperm Bank and Clinic in Minnesota has been caught in the act of replacing sperm donations with other sperm while he was smoking marijuana.
"Jerry was left by himself and has been a faithful employee and earned his job", state spokes...

A Sperm Bank and Clinic in Salt Lake City have fired worker, John Smith, for dumping donated sperm and replacing it with his own at a fertility clinic .
A spokesman for the clinic, which may have a large lawsuit on it's hands, told reporters Tuesd...

You would think that Justin Bieber is trying to save up his sperm as at least his own blood supply, according to news reporters and some fans. But he is donating sperm regularly.
He has apparently been changing banks lately after being spotted (an...

Several cities, because of the lack of donations, have placed after hours ATM Machines at their sperm banks.
Now you can go to the blood plasma bank and get some cash and then you go over to the Sperm Bank ATM and who knows how many children we wi...

After several months of construction, the staff at Little Wigglies Sperm Bank celebrated the opening of their eagerly anticipated ATM today.
"It was very exciting. We had a ribbon cutting ceremony and served Red Bull and oyster snacks," gushed...

Lancashire, U.K. - In a story that can only be seen in light of that old adage, reversed, 'What comes a round, goes around,' a German expatriate living as a civil servant in Britain, Helmut Heins, has claimed to have fathered over 10,000 children thr...

As the world's financial markets and banking system continue on a wild roller coaster ride, a major crisis is spreading to a banking sector few people ever think of.
Sehman Brothers, who hold the UK's largest and most diverse sperm deposits, have...

COPENHAGEN, Denmark - France's national news agency Le News is reporting that the largest sperm bank system in the world Wigglies 'R' Us has issued an official directive stating that it will no longer accept any deposits from redheads.
The Directo...

Chancellor George Osborne has agreed a deal with the wank bank that will force them to start lending again.
The wank bank had refused to lend back sexual and arousing images that men had stored leading to very tense situations.
The news will be...

Reading Police are cock-a-hoop over the arrest of the two notorious Directors of "Sperm-U-Like," a long running Internet scam aimed at desperate, childless couples.
Clients paid £380 to join, choosing potential fathers from a list of anonymous sp...

Two UK men have been accused of illegally selling frozen sperm over the Internet when asked how they did it they gave the following statement:
"We wanked ourselves to death day and night, then we froze the sperm and flogged it over the internet to...

SAN ANTONIO - In the who said there is nothing new under the sun category. A branch of The San Antonio Second National Sperm Bank has just opened up the nation's very first Sperm Bank with a drive thru window.
Traci Ann Quickowitz, president in ch...

The shortage of jizz in Britain has worsened. Gordon Brown revealed today that the only big wankers left in the UK were in Parliament.
With the shortage getting worse British women seeking a bun in their oven have begun to search abroad in the hop...

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