Because there are over 750,000 self-pubbed and 250,000 books published a year and they won't all get reviews in the NYTBR. Authored by M.J. Rose

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Best Review I Ever Got
I used to read books like this [The Hypnotist by M.J. Rose] before I discovered smutty worlds filled with vampires and shape shifters. But this book reminded me I liked to read books like this. It even had just humans in it and I still liked it. -- Samantha at Fiction Vixen Book Reviews

I gave the characters in my novel names that seemed right for them, and now that it has been publishedpeople are mad at me. One of my friends thinks a dog in the story has a name too much like her dog's name. One of them told me I had stolen something that was personal and hers because one minor character has her late mother's first name, and this has truly damaged our friendship. Yet, another friend reminded me that I had forgotten my promise made a very long time ago to include her name in some way if my novel were ever published. She had eagerly turned every page hoping to find her name tucked into the story in one way oranother, only to reach the last page in disappointment. What's a novelist to do?

-- No Name, Please

Dear No Name:

Cognitive psychologists have documented the "cocktail party phenomenon," the near-universal ability to filter out competing stimuli in order to register the mention of our own name or other personally significant information. This was apparently our cave dwelling ancestors' version of Google, and it remains a useful tool for discovering that everyone hates your new haircut, that your roommate is sleeping with your boyfriend, and other information you are assumed to be too far away or distracted to overhear.

The mechanism doesn't work perfectly, and, as self-referential creatures, we are more likely to make "false positive" errors than "false negative" ones--that is, we're more prone to interpret ambiguous information as pertaining to us than to dismiss actual references to us as coincidence. We're also, as a group, more likely to interpret ambiguous information in the most negative light possible.

I haven't read any studies on this, but I imagine that this phenomenon operates even more intensely when we already have a personal connection to the setting. For example, I'm more likely to tune in when someone mentions "Sue" at a friend's party than when I hear it in Times Square.

Your friends' assumption that you have appropriated their personal information is thus natural and expectable, though, of course, it is uncomfortable for you. Even if you were to scour your next work for personal associations and purge from it any reference to anyone you have ever known (which would be a terrible idea because of course you draw on your fund of experience to write your novels), it wouldn't work. Somebody somewhere would find, or create, a connection, and would take offense.

Try explaining to these friends that your intent was to create a complete fictional world--but that to do this, a writer needs to use any and all available resources (short of libel or plagiarism, but obviously that is not the issue here). It might help to liken the process to the way a painter might incorporate a friend's feet or facial contours in a depiction of an imaginative or historical scene, or a choreographer might make use of a loved one's familiar hand gesture in a dance. These are not references to the actual individual; they are attributes the artist recognizes as useful to the work in some way and adopts without regard to their real-life origins. If your friends are not artists themselves, this may be difficult to comprehend at first, but with goodwill and patience on both sides things should settle down.

Your promise to include your old friend's name, on the other hand, created the expectation of insider status, of a shared in-joke. Of course she was disappointed--it's as if you had promised to single her out at a party or to stand on a corner of Times Square and call her name, and then stood her up. I urge you to rectify this omission in your next novel. A promise is a promise, even if it's made in kindergarten.

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By M.J. Rose

M. J. Rose: The Collector of Dying Breaths: A Novel of Suspense
Indie Next Pick Amazon Best of April Mystery/Suspense
"Gripping--a suspenseful and enigmatic story... captivating... compelling, imaginative." (Kirkus)
"A page-turning, alluring concoction of fiction infused with fantastical yet actual history. Readers will be mesmerized by her enchanting narrative, which takes them on a mystical and magical journey." (Library Journal - Starred
"Rose masterfully combines romance, mystery, and dual timelines…The storyline and extensive historical details…are fascinating.” (Romantic Times TOP PICK))
"Mysterious, magical, and mythical…what a joy to read!" (Sara Gruen, New York Times bestselling author of Water for Elephants)

M. J. Rose: Seduction: A Novel of SuspenseIndie Next List.
Intriguing, absorbing, and utterly captivating, Seduction will leave you begging for a sequel." —Books & Books
"Mysterious, haunting, and tragic, Seduction emerges as a suspenseful alchemy of potent ingredients, beautifully blended, that ignites your senses and leaves you aching for more." (Jamie Ford, New York Times bestselling author of Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet )
"Seduction is an absolute pleasure to read -- clever, suspenseful, exciting, mysterious, learned, and engrossing. Some of the best historical fiction I've read in quite some time and just plain reading fun. M.J. Rose is at the top of her game, and that is saying something." (David Liss, bestselling author of The Twelfth Enchantment )

M. J. Rose: The Book of Lost Fragrances: A Novel of SuspenseINDIE NEXT PICK
SUSPENSE Best of 2012
PW Best of Mystery/Suspense Spring 2012
"Deliciously sensual...Rose imbues her characters with rich internal lives in a complex plot that races to a satisfying finish." (Publisher's Weekly (starred and boxed)
"Compelling... suspenseful tale. Once you catch a whiff, you will be enchanted". - Associated Press
"Rose has entered another realm and written what is bound to be one of this year's best books." -- Seattle Post-Intelligencer
"The Book of Lost Fragrances by M.J. Rose is an amazing novel, an utterly engrossing thriller that weaves together reincarnation, ancient Egypt, international intrigue, and a lost book of fragrances. Elegantly written, with unforgettable characters and flawlessly realized international settings, here is a novel that will keep you up all night—and leave you with powerful feelings of revelation, wonder, and the infinitude of human possibility." —New York Times bestselling author Douglas Preston

Seen on FOXTV as PAST LIFE : The Reincarnationist THE REINCARNATIONIST. Starred Library Journal Review. Starred Publisher's Weekly Review. Booksense Pick for September and 2007 Highlight List.
"A fascinating story of reincarnation that is one of the year's most ambitious and entertaining thrillers." - David Montgomery - Chicago Sun-Times

People Magazine Pick of the Week : The Memorist "Gripping… Rose once again skillfully blends past and present with a new set of absorbing characters in a fascinating historical locale." - Starred Review, Library Journal ------------------------------
"Rose's fascinating follow up to The Reincarnationist... skillfully blends past life mysteries with present day chills. The result is a smashing good read." -Starred Review, Publisher's Weekly