I've jus finished chatting to my sister about what I am going to wear to her wedding in October this year.

We have rather differing views. I like vintage style patterns, in particular Vogue. I'd bought Vogue 2902 happily thinking "sorted!", loved the neckline and skirt.

Sister was less than enthused. She doesn't think the vintage look suits me and suggested I wear a trouser and jacket suit combo (eeeeeek!!!!). Lets just say I was slightly horrified by the thought. I see wearing that kind of thing for interviews, not weddings.

She'd like me to go more modern. But its not something I have often felt a big connection to when looking through the various patterns on offer.

If you are in the wedding party ,your sisters preference is important.Her gown sets the style and mood of the event,so bridesmaids dresses would be complimentary. A 50's dress would not be the same theme as modern,trendy and hip Or a tight fitting sheath at a victorian themed one.If you like the full A,line or princess skirt,or the halter top,the mid-length these are present in formal present day styles too.If she likes pastels as part of the color theme why not take the main color pastel and pop it up to a deeper mid color range.Mainly,my best advise is not to argue with sissy,try to compromise a little--she'll love you for it.

If you end up following her preferences, and I think people are giving you good advice along those lines, then perhaps you could find something suitable in RTW, even from a nicer consignment shop? I'm suggesting this because personally I don't think I'd enjoy sewing something I didn't like that much, and/or didn't think I'd wear again.

I'm not going to be a brides maid. A cute niece to be who is 4 years old will have that role.

I won't have an integral role on the day - but I would like to respect her wishes and find a compromise.

She lives abroad so isnt close to hand. We do have very different styles. She'll be wearing a full skirted with corset self made wedding dress in deep red duchess silk.

I did (with the help of my mother after conversation with my mother) find this dress Vogue 8849. It ticks a more modern look, I like the frills at the back (I think I would go for view D) and its rated easy to sew.

Could this be an option? I'd like to make something out of a special fabric, a number of the more "modern" patterns call for knits which look very comfy but less "wedding" - at least to my eyes.

edited to add: found one more option how about this jacket V1132 with a fitted skirt? it feels really odd forcing my eyes to skip past all the vintage stuff... -- Edited on 3/7/13 5:59 PM --

Quote: We do have very different styles. She'll be wearing a full skirted with corset self made wedding dress in deep red duchess silk.

Hmm... this is a pretty dramatic, feminine look for a bride. I'm not sure why she'd prefer you to wear a pant suit. If you'd said, "I'd like to wear a pant suit" and she'd asked you to please wear a dress, I'd understand.

IMHO, you should find a dress pattern you like and go with it. If she objects to vintage and prefers modern -- a very unusual restriction to put on someone not in the wedding party, BTW -- and you want to respect her wishes but still respect your vintage-loving side, I'd suggest something classic. Perhaps that Vogue dress but maybe without the dramatic ruffle at the back?

ETA: I just looked through your reviews, and you look lovely in dresses that have a somewhat vintage look. For a wedding I wouldn't go OTT vintage (or OTT anything), just something classy and pretty that makes you feel good.

I am also a pear shaped girl. There are not many dresses out there that look good on me. I made this Burda dress http://www.burdastyle.com/pattern_store/patterns/ruched-front-wedding-dress-with-train-32011 last winter for a military ball in a teal green 4 way stretch fabric. The ruching down the front made me look taller and slimmer . I am 5'6".

The first Vogue dress that you posted says Vintage! in part because of the Vintage drawing and overall styling. The models' poses, their hair, shoes all give a strong vintage vibe.

However, that "look" could be very different with a modern take on the styling- contemporary hair, accessories, shoes, etc. If you go to Sewaholic or Colette, there are plenty of similar sundresses- fitted bodice with a full skirt. Sewaholic describes herself as a pear shape and I understand her patterns reflect that. A recent post shows her, cute as a modern button, with a similar dress in a dramatic floral- not vintage to my eye. She is tiny, but used the largest size skirt to have lots of fullness.

The nipped-waist jacket you posted was exactly what I pictured with simple trousers, both in wool crepe. Worn with a lace blouse and pearls, you could detail the jacket with piping for an elegant look. Wear a classic hairstyle- chignon or waived with a beautiful hairclip and you're good to go. I think you have options to feel right and satisfy your sister too.

If in doubt about what to wear, I suggest going with what the bride wants- my two cents. It's her big day and she'll have plenty of other things on her mind. Years later she will look at photos and remember one of the most important days in her life- hopefully with fondness for how lovely everyone looks. Good luck!

------Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. Andy Rooney

The only way I'd let a bride dictate what I wore to her wedding is if I was IN the wedding.

That said, if it were my sister, (irregardless of whose wedding it was) we'd probably discuss and offer opinions, but in the end it would be the wearer's choice. I mean, unless it was something that we didn't want each other to wear out in public period. LOL.

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