Brangelina Married

The 10 Stages of Learning That Brangelina ACTUALLY Tied the Knot

Brad and Angie are hitched, and the world will never be the same.

The 10 Stages of Learning That Brangelina ACTUALLY Tied the KnotBrad and Angie are hitched, and the world will never be the same.

photo by Jaguar PS/Shutterstock

While Brad and Angelina were off basking in the joy of their marriage, you were riding a seriously emotional rollercoaster. Here, the 10 stages of hearing the news of their nuptials:

1. Laughter. 'Yeah, right, Twitter,' you say as the tweets about their wedding start pouring in. You've heard that one before. You will not be fooled this time.

2. Denial. Nope. No way. This would be too much to hope for. Better to keep expectations low.

3. Surprise. Wait, they actually did tie the knot? Is this real life? This is real life. This is real life. This is real life!

4. Joy. Nine years, six children, and now marriage vows? What a lovely couple. What a wonderful life. You're just so happy for them. Beyond thrilled.

5. Sadness. But then the other shoe drops. "BUT WHAT ABOUT JEN?!" you scream aloud to the universe. "No, it's fine. She's doing awesome," you consolingly tell yourself. "This is all for the best for everyone!"

6. Mania. Speaking of the best, Brangelina must have had the best wedding EVER. You immediately start Google searching for details at warp speed. No food, no water, no bathroom breaks for you: Must. Know. More.

7. Dreaminess. The details reported by E! News: That Brangelina got hitched at Chateau Miraval in France. That all of the children were involved in the ceremony. That when Brad lifted Angie's veil, he gasped because of how freaking amazing she looked. Sigh.

8. Envy. It sounds like a dream, doesn't it? ...But a dream you will never experience. This is so unfair. HOW CAN ONE COUPLE HAVE IT ALL?!?!

9. Calm. You're breathing now. Deep, relaxing breaths. This is love. And Brangelina. You are happy for them. Really.

10. Exhaustion. Well that was emotionally draining—and you haven't even seen any photos yet.