Self- Development

F.O.M.O

FEAR OF MISSING OUT

One of the greatest marketing tools.

Social media used to give me so much anxiety. It felt as though I was living a boring life. While I wasn’t the happiest at that time, I felt that I became more unhappy with every Instagram post that I’ve saw. It seemed that everyone else was having such a better time than me with more girls, better fitness, more travels and more sex.

And here I was, just a sexless virgin scrolling through my Instagram feed.

That is the great myth of social media. It is essentially a life highlight tape. A “look at me”show. A place where each follower

You can have your choice of;

“Instagram models” asses

Insane party pics

Look at my new gf/bf

White girl turned away facing the sunset on a beach

I’m fucking working out while you’re on your phone eating unhealthy shit

I read this online sometime ago and you should save it to your quote bank.

There is a great myth that everyone, amazingly, believes: that everyone else is happy, having fun, living life, and you, all alone, are miserable. That everyone is out there, having amazing glorious sex, while you must content yourself with pornos.

A typical instagram “travel” image. Aren’t you jealous?

It wasn’t until I met some of these people that I used to admire on social media when I began to realize that these people are just like me. They’re anxious, depressed and have relationship issues like everyone else. AND those hot Instagram models take shits. HOT, NASTY ones at that.

When you’re watching someone’s vlog, you’re watching what they edited out, their highlights, what they want you to see. A propaganda film for their life.

When you’re fulfilled in life, you won’t get anxious when you see people’s highlight tapes, because you’ll be highly sexed, well travelled and will have a circle of good supportive friends.

What Social Media Should Be Used For

Because you know that you are a name brand, top shelf product in the sexual marketplace, you will only use Instagram and social media to promote your own agenda. Your personal brand.

This isn’t Myspace. Stop this shit.

That means

No negative posts

No shirtless bathroom pictures

No bad quality images

No rants on Facebook

No political/social posts

No questionable content in general

Social media needs to only be used to up your perceived social status, even if it’s façade. In the moving picture of life, you want to take a single frame, just a glimpse, and put yourself in the highest light possible.

As me move further and further from the analogue age, your digital presence must be known for you not to be left behind. Ideally if you wanted to get into something like YouTube, it would have been perfect several years ago. Now there are too many useless vloggers and ‘makeup” tutorial artists.

Make 2017 the year of the personal brand for yourself. No more selfies. No more political rants. Put yourself in the highest light possible. You will see your Tinder matches double, more connections from cool people, and more perceived social status.

Personally I’m going to grow this blog and get 1000 Instagram followers for my travel photography.

The 25 cent stock

Picture this.

You get a tip from a man who’s into the stock market. He tells you about this one 25 cent stock which has the potential to double its value overnight. Since he’s respectable and well-educated you take is advice and put $1000 dollars into this stock. 9:30 AM the next day, you have $2000.

This man is BlackManAbroad.

Being an black person in America is complicated. Since the inception of the USA, black people have never had it easy. We’ve been disrespected for hundreds of years. Our own African people even sold us into slavery.

Since I’m big into the stock market, I’m going to relate being black in America in economic terms.

The stock market is ran on the premise of supply and demand, a stock will fall if there is no demand (selling) and will rise once the demand returns (buying). When a stock has fallen 25% or more it is considered “oversold”. For some, this is a good time to buy the stock because you can get a good if you time your purchase correctly.

I like to think of black people in America as an “undervalued” or “oversold” stock. Essentially we are a stock valued at $25 but for various reasons we are a penny stock. The shareholders are panic selling and in turn the stock keeps on falling.

The Penny Stock Boom

But just like the recession of 2008, stocks will bounce back… and bounce back with avengeance. But instead of time determining the value of the stock, in this case for African- Americans, locationdetermines the value of the stock.

Our stock used to be worth something, we used to be listed on stock exchanges on Wall Street. But now, in America, our stock is worth pennies on the dollar.

This is where travel comes in.

I find it crazy that you can get a $150 plane ticket and go somewhere where you are valued, wanted and respected. Where the culture is different, the women are respectable and the standard of living is higher. When I took my first flight abroad I was amazed by the friendliness of the people. On my 18 hour flight to Australia the flight attendants kept telling me how cute I was and how I looked so different. The first person I encountered, the bus driver on my way to my hotel, told me I was cute and had a nice smile. WTF? I never felt this valued in Atlanta, Georgia.

I felt exotic, my accent felt unique, I felt like an individual, not just thrown into the “black person” archetype. It felt good.

America is no place for any self-respecting black person and it never has. Unless your life is riddled with fame or wealth, you’re never going to be respected here.

The problem is that I don’t want too many people to know about going abroad.

I only want the most self-respecting and enlightened black people to know about opportunities abroad. When black people go abroad, they are a fucking ambassador. We are an ambassador for our race. No other race has this burden on their shoulder. If we do something wrong it is not the person who fucked up but instead the entire race. This is why I don’t want to ruin our reputation like we have done in America. That’s why we must leave ignorant blacks behind. Our stock is of little worth over there and there is little hope of it ever reaching our previous value.

But we can restart. We can get re-listed on a different stock exchange, under a different name, and rise in price. Eventually we will be worth something again.

But once again, ignorant blacks must be left behind. They will tarnish our reputation more than it already has and our stock will once again be worthless, but this time everywhere.

I honestly think that if I wouldn’t have gone overseas I would have never truly valued myself. It seemed as if as soon as I left America I became a better person.

So my goal for BlackManAbroad is to enlighten black people on what the world has to offer. To value themselves and to stop with the self-loathing.

The Early Days

Not because it was a nightmare. Yes, there was a little turbulence, but mostly bewilderment and embarrassment.

When I went to prom my junior and senior years, I didn’t even get a kiss at the end of the night. I spent $100 for the dinner, $100 for both the tickets, $75 for the limo and 150 for the tux rental.

425 Dollars.

What a young man will do for a taste of those sweet walls.

To think of where I was then, to where I am now is nothing short of a miracle. Even though at age 17, playing 4 sports and in better shape than 95% of my peers, I had zero esteem for myself. I thought I was a little shithead. I thought girls didn’t like me. Guys disrespected me. My social life was a complete disaster.

I remember one instance at a bar in Florida where I litteraly got rejected 40 times in a row. Brutally. Some said “WTF No.” “Uhhhh I have a boyfriend”…. and I swear to god…”get the fuck out of here bud”. I didn’t know why this was happening to me. I was in great shape. Had a 6 pack. I’m 6″1′. I didn’t understand.

Funny story; I was so distraught that night I asked a gay couple to dance with me, to my surprise they said yes. I didn’t dance with them but my friends saw me and gave me shit for the next few years.

But enough of the past…

The Rule of Relationships

To know your worth means to know that you are better than given circumstance and do something to change the outcome.

I remember when I used to let girls run over me. I used to buy them everything they requested. Dinner. Clothes. Drinks. But then I learned something…

“The person who cares the least has the most power.”

How about that?

I’ll use Trump for an example because he seems to be all the hype nowadays…

Donald Trump Facial Expression

Do you wonder how Trump came about? How he became so popular? How his name oozes of emotion?

Simple.

Look at his debates. The other candidate will be speak and he won’t even acknowledge them.

You see that?

The other candidate will call him names; ugly, bigot, racist, ignorant, and Trump’s just ice.

Trump knows the rules of power and uses them time and time again to defeat his opponent. He uses his “trump” card and just as expected, his opponents keep putting more and more effort in just for them to look weak and powerless. See Jeb Bush.

Location. Location. Location

When I was younger, even in college I had no esteem for myself. I was a sexual anxious virgin, weird with little friends. I walked around with my head held low and shoulders slumped over.

I was a pushover.

Even when I read some self-help “guru’s” secret, “VISUALIZE SUCCESS! FAKE IT TIL’ YOU MAKE IT!” Shit never worked. You could just see in my eyes that I was a beat man.

I had thrown in the towel.

It wasn’t until I went abroad for the first time that I found my worth. I didn’t know what it was at time but now I know.

It’s very simple and I wish that everyone knew what I know.

The way to find your worth is to RESTART. Go someplace new. Go somewhere that doesn’t remind of you of your past. Go somewhere that will add excitement and vitality in a world full of comfort and laziness. And design who you want to be. Find your ideal self and be it without any outside judgement.

If that means to cut off some friends, your girlfriend, so be it.

I had the biggest paradigm shift of my life when I went overseas. Women valued me. Men respected me. I had amazing friends. And I was comfortable in my own skin.

That was something I couldn’t say back in my hometown.

Don’t Cross That Line

Travelling abroad taught me how to set boundaries. To have boundaries is to have respect for yourself. In the above video, Trump will interrupt you and when you interrupt him, he will call you out on it. Making you look inconsiderate and weak. Jeb doesn’t have strong boundaries while Trump does.

Of course Trump sometimes pushes it with his boundaries, but he makes a great illustration…

If someone disrespects you, that is a subtle jab at your character. Some people call this a shit test. But I call it testing the waters. If they can become comfortable disrespecting you they will continue to do so, and to a greater extent.