In late 2014, John Meehan and Debra Newell matched on a dating site for over 50s.

Debra had already matched with a whopping 84 men but had only been on three dates, all of which had been lacklustre. But John was different. He was handsome, fit, a doctor. He’d even worked for Doctors Without Borders.

Despite their first date scaring Debra a little — John had refused to leave when she’d asked him to — he called to apologise and begged her to take him back.

Five weeks later they’d moved in together, renting a beach house for $US6500 ($A8470) a month that Debra paid for a year in advance.

After two months they secretly married due to Debra’s family becoming increasingly hostile towards John — a feeling he returned tenfold.

Debra wasn’t speaking to her family by early 2015, a situation that would result in lethal consequences.

Her children, who had sensed there was something dark going on with their mother’s husband early on, tailed John and employed a private investigator to find out about his sinister past.

What the private investigator uncovered was indisputable. John had years of prison time under his belt, countless court cases and restraining orders from numerous women.

Debra even stumbled upon a mountain of documents stashed in their home detailing all of John’s previous manipulations, drug abuse and how he wasn’t actually a doctor but a nurse.

Despite all that, Debra, who had originally applied to have her marriage to John annulled, eventually withdrew her application after confronting him.

“He had an answer for everything and it was so convincing he literally convinced me he was innocent,” Debra told the LA Times.

Without giving too much away, John’s relationship with the Newell family took a turn for the worse in early 2016 but it’s the way in which Debra chose to forgive her husband and take him back — despite the overwhelming evidence — that beggars belief.

Goffard told Debra this was the hardest part of the story for him to explain and questioned whether her decision to stay with John had something to do with a 32 year old murder that had lasting effects on her life.

John and Debra in happier times: Wondery/LA Times PodcastsSource:Supplied

‘I STILL LOVE YOU’

On March 8, 1984, a man named Billy Vickers put a gun to the back of his wife Cindi’s head and fired one shot before turning the gun on himself.

He called the police and told them: “I’ve shot myself”.

Cindi was the older sister of Debra Newell and the girls were raised by parents who regularly preached about religion and forgiveness.

Cindi was still young, a teenager, when Billy proposed and despite her mother originally advising against it, he became a part of the family.

Arlane Hart, the mother of Cindi and Debra, especially loved Billy.

But Billy eventually became possessive and controlling. He wouldn’t let Cindi go shopping or wear bikinis so when a professional football player took a liking to the blonde bombshell, they hit it off.

Cindi and Billy had two young boys and had been married 14 years by the time she asked him for a divorce. Billy was shattered.

He called Arlane, his mother-in-law, and told her: “I can’t let her go”.

Hours later, police arrived at Arlane’s house and told her that Cindi had been murdered.

Billy, who had delivered the fatal shot, was in hospital with a gunshot wound to his stomach when he called Arlane to apologise.

He’d been charged with first degree murder and had called to say sorry for taking her daughter’s life.

Arlane told him she still loved him.

“I said, ‘God has given that love to us for you. We love you, and we forgive you.’ And he just sobbed and he cried,” she said.

Billy was facing life in prison until Arlane called his defence lawyer and said she wanted to testify on behalf of him, the man who had killed her first child.

Arlane testified in court and told them, including the 12-person jury, that Cindi had mistreated Billy.

Thomas Avdeef, the prosecutor on the case, was unsurprisingly stunned.

The jury sobbed as Arlane, a staunch Christian, preached forgiveness on the witness stand for five hours.

“They threw [Cindi] under the bus,” Mr Avdeef told the LA Times. “I don’t know the dynamics of the family. I could never understand that. Why say bad things about the victim?”

The jury acquitted Billy of first-degree murder. He pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter and was given a five-year sentence for killing his wife.

He was credited for time served and good behaviour and, with the help of Arlane’s testimony, he was released after serving two years, nine months and nine days.

EXTREME FORGIVENESS

Arlane has spent years travelling the world, delivering talks on forgiveness.

In 2004, she spoke at Orange Coast Christian Outreach Week. Her talk was called “Forgiveness Beyond Understanding: When murder strikes close to home”.

Dirty John tells the story of John’s entry into the lives of the Newell family but what it also expertly does is draw parallels between forgiveness and manipulation.

How John’s antics forced Debra’s children away and how Arlane, who was able to forgive her first daughter’s murderer, felt sick about Debra being with John.

Goffard, the mastermind behind the Dirty John series draws similarities between Arlane forgiving Billy and Debra deciding to get back with John.

“You were raised in a culture of extreme forgiveness,” Goffard told Debra.

“I went to a psychologist over [Cindi’s death] because I wasn’t quite having that instant forgiveness,” she admitted to him.

Debra herself isn’t certain that her family tradition of forgiving above all else came into her decision to get back with her estranged and extremely dangerous husband.

One thing that is for sure however, are the tragic things that happened after their reconciliation.

Dirty John is an in-depth look at how, more often than not, victims of abusive relationships don’t even realise the degree to which they’re being manipulated.

It’s also an expert look at how forgiveness isn’t always the best option.

You can read or listen to the extent of tragedy John Meehan inflicted on the lives of so many on the LA Times or on the podcast app.