The television commercial puts forth the ridiculous proposition
that there's no need for anyone to purchase cable television because the
moronic contraption, which costs twenty hard earned dollars, enables you to enjoy
clear crisp reception of the very same broadcast television channels that you already receive in a
clear crisp manner unless you are on a spaceship bound for one of those
recently discovered seven planets 40 light years away.

"Why pay hundreds of dollars for cable and satellite channels you may never even watch?" says the sleazy pitchman on the television commercial
that appeals only to persons of the lowest measurable intelligence quotient (IQ).

"You know he makes a lot of sense," marveled the mental
midget just before ordering 6 or 7 of the totally worthless doo-hickeys.
"I really miss HBO, Cinemax, Showtime, Starz, and all the other cable channels I
used to love," commented the dumb shit, "but like the man on television says Iwaspaying hundreds of dollars for cable and satellite channels I may never even
watch, like the Spanish language ones. Now I can watchThe Bachelorevery week and get crisp clear
reception!"

At the time of this posting, the cretin was sitting at home
watchingTwo Broke Girlswith a vaguely unsatisfied look on
his dumbass face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*In the style of The Onion. No, I didn't say as funny as The Onion, just in the style of!

2 comments:

I got the jump on this idiotic gadget and bought a HD antenna two years ago. The thing was supposed to pick up signals for up to 100 miles, but it's more like half of that--and I paid a helluva lot more than $20 for it.

Actually, I kind of miss the Spanish speaking soap operas. I couldn't understand a damn word they said, but it was hilarious watching their facial expressions and dramatic overacting. Not to mention the gorgeous chicks. No Susan Lucci antiques on their network.

Search This Blog

Contact Me

About Me

Perry Block has lived a life of which most others can only dream. Although we don't know who these "most others" might be, it's clear their dreams have to be about as exciting as being President of the Justin Bieber Fan Club at the Abe Vigoda Memorial Home for Very, Very Old Jews.
In his one action-packed lifetime, Perry has been a rugged, briny sea-faring guy; a hunky dude given to slamming his right fist into his left palm while exclaiming "caution be damned, innocent lives are at stake!"(although frankly he has always missed his left palm); and a world class professional yodeler known for a killer "YO-DEL" but a generally undistinguished "LAY-HE-HOO!" He has succeeded in virtually every sphere of human endeavor, but failed miserably in the rectangular and triangular ones.
In his private life, Perry spends most of his time fantasizing he has a private life. He is the proud father of Brian Block, age 29, and Brandon Block, who's 23. He regrets not having more children so he could have alliterated their names as well.
As he reaches those golden Nouveau Old years, Perry says that he has no regrets. How could he? He's forgotten them all.

Followers

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED --- In fact so reserved they probably wouldn't make a fuss even if you did try to mess with them! What I really need are All Rights who are Tough Son of a Bitches! Where do I get them?