Disasters Sprouting Like Mushrooms

Only a stumblebum like Obama would think that signing an agreement with Iran that basically caves to an evil nation would be a good way to distract people from the catastrophe known as the Affordable Care Act.

Just because Obama can’t do two things at once – or even one thing if it requires anything beyond reading words off a Teleprompter – he assumes other people can’t recognize that he is as toxic on the world stage as he is domestically.

Because John (“Why do people keep calling me Mr. Ed?”) Kerry is as inept as his boss, in exchange for legitimizing Iran’s nuclear program and handing over seven billion dollars, he couldn’t even negotiate the release of American pastor, Saeed Abedani, who was trying to open an orphanage in Iran when he was arrested over a year ago, and subsequently tortured on trumped-up charges of being a spy.

It’s not just that Iran should never be trusted, but Obama, along with the representatives of the other western nations that signed the treaty, chose to ignore the fact that Iran has been the single largest sponsor of state-sanctioned terrorism for the past 34 years. The blood of every American soldier who has been killed or wounded in Iraq, Afghanistan or Libya, can be found on the hands of the Iranian mullahs. But in order to take some of the heat off himself, Obama chose to reward Iran for three decades of bad behavior. I wonder if Malia and Sasha have been paying attention.

I can only say that Hitler must be kicking himself for coming along 80 years too soon. Back in the 30s, Hitler only had to deal with a single Neville Chamberlain, and he would soon be replaced by Winston Churchill. Today, all the western leaders are carrying umbrellas, and there isn’t a Churchill in sight.

Reagan would have had the mullahs eating their centrifuges for lunch. But Obama goes on TV to brag about this foreign policy coup even as the Ayatollah Khamenei celebrates the signing of the pact by once again announcing his intention to annihilate Israel.

Meanwhile, in Afghanistan, Hamid Karzai is kicking sand in our face, and the government is talking about punishing those engaged in pre-marital sex with a hundred lashes, and, as a punishment for adultery, death by stoning. Keep in mind that we have squandered thousands of American lives and billions of tax dollars protecting these vermin from the Taliban. So, the next time someone suggests we go to war to protect Muslims and Arabs from one another, ask them why on earth we would ever do such a thing when it is clearly God’s way of thinning the herd.

When I heard that Israel’s Bibi Netanyahu said something about “an historic mistake,” I heartily concurred. But then I found out he was talking about the sucker’s deal we cut with Iran. He was right, of course. But, initially, I assumed he was referring to the elections that put Obama in the White House and then extended his lease.

There are times when it’s easy to imagine that all the lunacy can be traced back to our nation’s capital. But it’s just not so. For instance, it makes no sense that drug dealers face far harsher penalties than those who slaughter elephants. Even on those rare occasions when poachers are arrested and tried, the creeps involved in the ivory trade generally get off with a wrist slap. The elephants, after all, are innocent victims; whereas drug users are not. But because hypocrisy has become a way of life for many of us, we simply pretend they are.

The latest proof that college campuses are among the most corrupt venues in America is Bard College’s refusal to cut its ties with the Jerusalem-based Al-Quds University, even after the Palestinian administrators failed to condemn an Islamic jihad demonstration that included students trampling on Israeli flags and exchanging the Nazi salute. But, then, Bard, the pride of Annandale, NY, also boasts a Chair in Social Studies named in Alger Hiss’s honor. For the uninitiated, Hiss was a high-ranking member of the State Department under both FDR and Harry Truman, who just happened to moonlight as a Soviet spy. As some wag suggested, the big surprise is that Bard doesn’t have a John Dillinger Chair in Banking.

In case you were wondering, similar lunacy prevails in the education system below the college level. Verenice Gutierrez, the principal at the Harvey Scott K-8 School, in Portland, Oregon, has decided that her teachers shouldn’t make reference to sandwiches because in some cultures they don’t eat sandwich bread. Furthermore, on the first day of the school year, at a staff meeting, it was decided that the teachers should engage in a “Courageous Conversation,” in which they would examine news articles in class and discuss the “white privilege” they convey.

Because I’m a big proponent of both courage and conversation, I would suggest they devote one of those sessions to the Knockdown Game, currently the rage with black teens, in which the object of the game is to sucker punch a white person. Extra points, as I understand it, are earned if the victims are elderly women or World War II veterans.

I realize that it might be difficult to spot white privilege in these accounts, but I’m betting that Ms. Gutierrez is up to the task, and that an administrative position at Bard College is very likely in her future.

About Burt Prelutsky

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated.
For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile.
Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either.
He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/