Case Number 08131

WILLIAM SHATNER'S A TWIST IN THE TALE

The Charge

"Close your eyes...and imagine!" -- The Storyteller, William
Shatner

Opening Statement

A Twist In The Tale wants to be a sort of spookified take on
Afternoon Specials. It's one part troubled teen (or pre-teen) melodrama
mixed with the typical ghosts, mystics, and time travelers of sci-fi/fantasy
anthology shows. The concept itself isn't terrible, but the execution is sorely
lacking. Flat, pedestrian writing and excruciatingly slow pacing keep the show
stuck in first gear. Filmed in New Zealand, it provides definitive proof that
not every Kiwi is as talented as Peter Jackson.

Facts of the Case

William Shatner hosts this collection of "supernatural stories of the
imagination for all ages." All 15 hour-long episodes of the series are
included on this four-DVD box set.

* "Obsession in August" Two children staying with friends
while their parents are away get caught up in Arthurian legends.

* "A Crack in Time" A girl from a hundred years in the
future is mysteriously transported to the present day.

* "The Anchoress" Two children dealing with their mother's
disappearance (and father's attempts to remarry) encounter an anchoress who
reveals the truth of their family's past.

* "Charlie" An angry, anti-social girl falls in love with an
enigmatic teenager.

* "The Duelists" Three ghosts -- a beautiful woman and two
men who dueled to the death to win her heart -- possess three modern-day
schoolchildren.

* "Bertie" After moving into a new house, a family has a
run-in with the ghost of a jockey from the 1920s.

* "The Magician" A traveling father-daughter magic act save
a mysterious woman in trouble only to find out they got more than they bargained
for.

* "A Ghost of Our Own" A widowed mother and her two
daughters are excited to be moving into a new house...until they find it's
haunted.

* "Jessica's Diary" A teen with an ailing mother and a cruel
stepfather finds a diary from a hundred years ago that seems to have foretold
her fate.

* "The Pirate" A teenage girl discovers a pirate relic that
can see into the future, but she can't convince her doubting brothers.

* "The Skeleton in the Cupboard" A teenager tries to revive
her family's magic act and ends up learning about the dark secrets of her
family's past in the process.

* "Between Life and Death" After being seriously injured by
a criminal gang and falling into a coma, a father has an out-of-body experience
that allows him to communicate with his son to foil the evildoers' plans.

* "The Green Dress" A teenage girl, struggling in her new
performing arts high school, finds a dress haunted by the ghost of a dead
actress.

* "A Matter of Time" A young man working on time travel is
visited by a mysterious man from the future.

The Evidence

Any sci-fi/fantasy anthology TV show has an impossibly high standard to live
up to: The Twilight Zone. That classic series not only laid down all the
elements that would define the genre, but did them better than any pretender
that came after it, including its own later ill-advised revivals. The show had
it all: a brilliantly creepy host and narrator in creator Rod Serling, some of
the best writers available at the time (including Serling himself and such
luminaries as Ray Bradbury), and a list of actors that reads like a who's-who of
late 1950s and early 1960s TV.

It's a tough act to follow up. A handful of contenders -- The Outer
Limits and Tales From The Crypt come to mind -- have managed
respectably. A Twist In The Tale is not one of those contenders, not by a
long shot.

The formula of every episode of A Twist In The Tale goes something
like this: William Shatner, who plays the role of "The Storyteller,"
starts things off by introducing the premise and theme for the episode to a
gaggle of children assembled in an old-fashioned study-cum-library. Then we're
introduced to a couple of kids (ranging in age from around 8 to 14) dealing with
a typical problem (parents divorced, trouble with bullies, just moved into a new
town, etc.). Pretty soon, they have some sort of unusual/supernatural encounter
or experience. Shatner pops up again interminably to add commentary, the same
synthesized New Age music drones on, and eventually the "twist in the
tale" is revealed. We see Shatner once more as he sums up the moral of the
story.

A Twist In The Tale's makers seem to have made the erroneous
assumption that an "all ages" demographic meant nothing could be
remotely complicated or frightening. Even on the rare occasion when something
possibly scary happens, it's played with such a lack of dramatic flair that it
might as well have been someone going to the refrigerator to grab a soda. The
"twists" promised by the title are anything but surprising. "It
was all a dream...or was it?" and, "That teen by the abandoned mine
who looks exactly like the one who died in an accident there 50 years ago is
really a g-g-g-ghost!" are hardly O. Henry material. Hell, they're barely
even worthy of Scooby Doo.

The hour-long format doesn't do the show any favors either. The stories have
a half-hour worth of material, tops. So, inevitably, the episodes drag and plod
along until all the life is slowly sucked from them. There are countless
unnecessary scenes, even characters repeatedly restating points that they've
already gone over. To add insult to injury, the same stock footage, like
lightning flashes or an owl perched on a branch, is repeated ad nauseam. A
little bit of judicious editing would really go a long way towards making the
show more palatable.

The cast, composed of unknown New Zealanders, is mostly competent but
undistinguished. There are a few notable performances, such as Renee Ellwood as
quirky, spunky, budding magician Cherry in "The Skeleton In The
Cupboard," but those are balanced by a couple that are downright awful. To
be fair, these actors aren't exactly working with Shakespeare, and obvious
budget constraints occasionally force them to wear embarrassingly ridiculous
costumes. In "A Crack In Time," the girl from the future's attire
consists of what appears to be an old Halloween costume and decorative jewels on
her forehead courtesy of a BeDazzler. The ghosts in "The Duelists" are
caked in cheap white powder, like they're straight out of a high school
production of A Christmas Carol.

The only truly impressive thing about A Twist In The Tale is just how
bland and mundane it is. There's no lack of enthusiastic but financially
compromised amateurs making sci-fi and fantasy that is, at the very least,
inspired. After all, these are genres that are usually ripe for entertaining
pulp, even when the technical aspects are lacking or the plot is rife with
cliches. A Twist In The Tale certainly isn't afraid of cliches, but it is
afraid of having fun. It's so dull and flavorless that it makes Touched By An
Angel look like a Quentin Tarantino film by comparison.

The features on the DVD set itself are crummier than William Shatner's
hairpiece. There are no extras whatsoever. The menus are nothing more than a
still, silent screen. At least there are generous chapter stops, and the
transfer is decent. All 15 episodes are presented in 1.78:1, enhanced for
widescreen TVs. (Yes, oddly enough, the series was shot in widescreen.)

The Rebuttal Witnesses

There is one saving grace to the show, and it can be summed up in one word:
Shatner. Yes, Captain Kirk comes through with his patented cheesy, schmaltzy
charm. His narration, either sitting in front of an audience or outside by his
lonesome, has clearly been spliced in with the rest of the show at the last
minute. In a couple of particularly awkward scenes, he's even cheaply
superimposed over images from the original footage. Still, he is entertaining,
something I can't say for the rest of the show.

Closing Statement

I can't imagine who would enjoy A Twist In The Tale. Too slowly paced
and talky for children yet not complex or deep enough for adults, it's spoiled
by its own misguided attempts to have broad appeal. Had it been a half-hour
series with better attention paid to creating snappier dialogue and more
memorable characters, it'd still be mediocre at best. It's understandable why
William Shatner's name and face are all over the packaging: He's the only
potential draw, and he does his best to add a little vitality to an otherwise
lifeless production.

The Verdict

Shatner is allowed to go free with a slap on the wrist. The rest of the cast
and crew are found guilty.