Video pokes at iPhone and drunks who shouldn’t have ‘nice things’

The iPhone D, pre-cracked and still with you when you wake up hungover. Photo: Above Average/YouTube

Rumors abound about a second-generation Apple Watch and a future iPhone without headphone jacks. Now comes news of an iPhone D — “the iPhone for drunk assholes.”

If that did not immediately register as a joke, you are probably someone who needs an iPhone D. The troupe behind YouTube comedy channel Above Average imagines a world where Apple actually cares whether you drop your phone in the toilet or drunk-dial an ex-girlfriend.

The video shows an iPhone in a well-fortified waterproof case, a pre-cracked screen (because you’re going to crack it anyway) and a leash to prevent leaving it at the bar. It also shuts off after 1 a.m. because no good can come from calling someone at that hour.

“The new iPhone D, because your drunk ass can’t be trusted with nice things,” a sober voice says as we are treated to a montage of drunken iPhone mishaps. The video, posted Jan. 6 by Above Average, already has close to 68,000 views.