1: a woman of highly educated pedigree (academically, socially, and otherwise) and worldly breeding; fluent in various forms of public etiquette yet is equally knowledgeable of the latest strip club songs, updated on most prime-time ratchet cable programs and conversant in the tongue of hoochie mama.

2: a high-class individual who is open to incorporating low-brow tendencies in to her persona for momentary enjoyment.

3: an otherwise brilliant woman but, for some reason, is a Blackberry owner who, at times, is puzzled by touch screen mobile technology.

4: she is a “Vision of Love” and can (Nicki Minaj voice) “raah, raah!” like a “Dungeon Dragon.”

5: she is multilingual, speaking several UN-recognized languages; she is an expert in a tongue that will never be heard at a General Assembly: rachatese.

Indeed, the sight of a woman who can fluently express her views on the fiscal cliff at cocktail parties and recite the Ying Yang Twins’ “Whisper Song” under her breath as she thumbs through the pages of Langston Hughes’ “I Wonder As I Wander” rings wedding bells all throughout my mind.

She’s the kind of woman who can waltz at a charity ball, but when Juicy J’s “Bands A Make Her Dance” begins blaring from the sound system, she’ll at least keep her shoes on to preserve her dignity.

When workplace conflicts arise, she’ll be smart enough not to jeopardize her job security over some bull-ish. Though if the colleague with whom she has a grievance insists on acting a tad bit too cray, she’ll, in her own coded language, threaten to “put them paws on ‘em.”

Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, this is all in fun, of course. So, with that being said….how many of you ladies can keep it 100 and admit that you live a sophistiratchet life?