I'm a pair of worn L.L. Bean khakis, and I'm not even sure who I belong to anymore. Whatever.

by Anonymous

reply 24

10/09/2018

I'm the third member of the plane club.

by Anonymous

reply 25

10/09/2018

I'm the tree that Michael Kennedy crashed into.

by Anonymous

reply 26

10/09/2018

R26 Sorry, I already said that. R12

by Anonymous

reply 27

10/09/2018

I'm GAP Playlist Troll and even I'm creeped out by the OCD afflicted Kennedy Stans on DL. One of them lives secretly in the attic of a house opposite the Kennedy Compound in Hyannis Port, where winters are long. He may not make it through another.

I'm Rose's papal title of countess. I get trotted out all the time when she's in Europe, but am tactfully not used when she's in the US.

by Anonymous

reply 32

10/09/2018

I'm uh Caroline Kennedy and uh I'm a stuck up bitch.

by Anonymous

reply 33

10/09/2018

I'm the professional face-sharpener employed by the family's women.

Behold, my masterpieces!

by Anonymous

reply 34

10/09/2018

I'm John-John's treasure trail heading south on the Kennedy Compound.

by Anonymous

reply 35

10/09/2018

I'm Jean Kennedy Smith, the last living sibling!

I am eager to share my skincare secrets with you.

by Anonymous

reply 36

10/09/2018

I’m Dr William Kennedy Smith and I’ll be examining you today - now please lay back and put your feet in the stirrups, good girl.

by Anonymous

reply 37

10/09/2018

I'm the dark deeds and deals done by Joe Kennedy that led karma to smite (and smite and smite) his spawn.

by Anonymous

reply 38

10/09/2018

I'm a bored shitless Jackie, filling up yet another ashtray with Pall Mall butts on the porch at Hyannisport, having to endure watching yet another idiotic touch football game on the lawn.

by Anonymous

reply 39

10/09/2018

I'm Rose, going on another shopping spree to the Continent, leaving my children in the nanny's care.

by Anonymous

reply 40

10/09/2018

I’m the poor, lowly Kennedy Staff Member ordered to clean all the blood and brain matter out of the Presidential Lincoln Continental limousine once it arrived back at Washington DC from Dallas. And I even used Bon Ami!

by Anonymous

reply 41

10/09/2018

I'm the maid that Peter Lawford claimed he heard Ethel call "stupid n*gger" because I tossed some scrap paper with scribbles on it. How's I to knows that the late honorable Senator Kennedy had created them there notes ?

by Anonymous

reply 42

10/09/2018

I'm some of the help at the Kennedy compound in Hyannisport. All of us are white because the old man won't have colored help so we're mostly shanty Irish.

I’m Rose’s half empty bottle of nail polish being returned to the drugstore by a maid. Rose expects a refund.

by Anonymous

reply 46

10/09/2018

I'm the Persian carpets at Hickory Hill ruined by Ethel's wildlife menagerie! The maids try to clean us up, but there's only so much you can do after you've been doused time and again in monkey piss and peacock shit.

by Anonymous

reply 47

10/09/2018

I'm Joe, Sr.'s big mouth, yapping forth his fascistic admiration and anti-Semitic inclinations. I will make it necessary for him to take a background role during his son's presidential campaign. Fortunately I will be largely stilled by a stroke in 1961, making his sons' political campaigns much easier.

by Anonymous

reply 48

10/09/2018

I’m a respected member of Ted Kennedy’s political staff visiting Ethel at her home. I am mesmerised, watching many of Ethel’s very young children, nieces and nephews doing cannonballs out of a second story window as they try to land on the cheap trampoline below. Ethel watches but shows no interest in their antics.

by Anonymous

reply 49

10/09/2018

We're the Gargans, always treated like red-headed stepchildren. I mean, we ARE red-headed stepchildren, but still...

by Anonymous

reply 50

10/10/2018

I'm the 10th Duke of Devonshire. I think the Kennedy Curse rubbed off on me.

I'm the Howard Johnson's across from the Kennedy compound. Jackie and some of the other girls occasionally stop in for a clam roll, while the boys use our rooms with all the local sluts.

by Anonymous

reply 55

10/10/2018

I'm the Warren Commission report and I'm about as believable as Donald Trump's claims of being a self-made man.

by Anonymous

reply 56

10/10/2018

I'm old Rose, the only time they change my diaper, is when they roll me out on the porch for special events.

by Anonymous

reply 57

10/10/2018

I'm Jackie, with glazed-over eyes, listening to Rose yammer on and on and on about the Catholic Church and a blow-by-blow about what happened at her third Mass of the day. Where is Joan with her flask of whiskey? I need a cig too.

by Anonymous

reply 58

10/10/2018

I'm Joe Sr. , That Jackie is one Helllluva BITCH.

by Anonymous

reply 59

10/10/2018

I'm the "vitamin" shots given to President Kennedy. I give him lost of energy.

by Anonymous

reply 60

10/10/2018

I'm Rose wondering who that trollop Taylor Swift is who was trying to buy one of the houses on the compound.

by Anonymous

reply 61

10/10/2018

I'm Rose's church, St, Francis Xavier, on South St. in Hyannis.

by Anonymous

reply 62

10/10/2018

I’m the phone booth in which Bobby, er, um fucked Rudy.

by Anonymous

reply 63

10/10/2018

I’m the one Joe Jr. should have married...

by Anonymous

reply 64

10/10/2018

I'm mourning veils.

by Anonymous

reply 65

10/10/2018

I’m Scaasi designs, that don’t get discounted for First Ladies.

by Anonymous

reply 66

10/10/2018

I’m Ethel’s worn out pussy after having 11kids.

by Anonymous

reply 67

10/10/2018

Expanding on R50's post, I'm Joe Gargan and it's late 1966. I'm waiting/watching in the shadows for Joan Kennedy to pass out drunk somewhere.......anywhere **wink wink**

by Anonymous

reply 68

10/10/2018

I'm the Mid Cape roadside swale that Joan keeps driving into.

by Anonymous

reply 69

10/10/2018

I’m the rotgut bootleg liquor the family fortune’s built on

by Anonymous

reply 70

10/10/2018

I'm Joan's oft refilled cut crystal vodka decanter.

by Anonymous

reply 71

10/10/2018

I’m John Johns hot ass and cock.

by Anonymous

reply 72

10/10/2018

[quote]I’m Ethel’s worn out pussy after having 11kids.

I'm the tractor-trailer that could've driven through it like the Holland Tunnel.

by Anonymous

reply 73

10/10/2018

We're the Hyannisport police, dragging a blacked-out drunk Joan Kennedy from the backseat of another stranger's car, and taking her back home. We'll see her again in a week or two.

I'm John F. Kennedy's foreskin that was removed at the age of 21, the official reason being phimosis, but it was probably because it was so riddled with STDs that it was rotting off.

by Anonymous

reply 76

10/10/2018

I'm Rose and I hate to admit this but ...... I have a gorgeous new black mourning suit & all the accessories so if God wants to take another of my children, well, at least all eyes will be on me at the cathedral !

by Anonymous

reply 77

10/10/2018

ps ... And God, please before hemlines change. I'd just hate to have to spend $$$ on re-altering.

by Anonymous

reply 78

10/10/2018

I'm Martha Moxley..

by Anonymous

reply 79

10/10/2018

R79

Not so. She was a Skakel family victim. The guilty boy's father Rushton Skakel was Ethel's brother. They are not Kennedys.

by Anonymous

reply 80

10/10/2018

I'm Pam Burkely and I JUST WANT TO REMIND all you gals out there who didn't learn by Turd's example at Chappaquiddick that getting into a vehicle with any Kennedy male can lead to disaster.

Speaking of Kennedy shit, I'm the water faucet in the bathroom at the main house of the Hyannisport Compound Jackie turns on when she has to go to the bathroom to hide any unpleasant noises she might make. The sisters and Ethel are on to me, and find me hilarious.

by Anonymous

reply 93

10/10/2018

Hearing the trickling sound of running water facilitates urination.

by Anonymous

reply 94

10/10/2018

I'm the desperate plea for someone to please post the photo of Ethel picking her nose. I have looked everywhere for it to no avail.

by Anonymous

reply 95

10/10/2018

We are the various inferior women's colleges (most of us Catholic) that most of the sisters attend. The boys get to go to Harvard, but the girls' education doesn't really matter to their parents since the girls exist only to breed and pray.

However, we are conveniently close to major shopping destinations in NYC and Philadelphia, and we also are useful for providing other heiresses for the girls' brothers to marry.

by Anonymous

reply 96

10/10/2018

I'm the lousy $25,000 inheritance that Joe Gargan received from his Aunt Rose. If I had been a larger inheritance Joe would have kept quiet about Chappaquiddick and Senatorial Privilege would have never been published.

by Anonymous

reply 97

10/10/2018

I'm the Kennedys' enormous wealth and privilege as they continue to talk about signs of discrimination against Irish Catholics as if it occurred sometime earlier that day instead of a hundred years ago.

by Anonymous

reply 98

10/10/2018

I'm Ted Kennedy's 18th glass of whiskey of the day.

by Anonymous

reply 99

10/10/2018

I'm CBK's slow decompositioning green Egyptian Musk Oil bought from an African vendor on Manhattan sidewalk in the 90s. I'm kept in the back of Lisa Besette's closet. Stored in a cigar box.

by Anonymous

reply 100

10/10/2018

I'm the homicidal suicidal ideation tantrum that finally clicked over the Long Island Sound one summer evening that forced our ashes to be scattered at sea.

by Anonymous

reply 101

10/10/2018

R95, see r3

by Anonymous

reply 102

10/10/2018

I'm Caroline's daughter Rose Schlossberg. I'm so glad that I got some of my Grandma Jackie's Bouvier looks instead of some of the hideous Kennedy looks.

We're the posted speed limit signs ignored around Hyannis Port. Forced to stare at the pet and wildlife carcasses rotting on the roadside. Crows would use as landing pads to swoop down on the road pizzas at daybreak.

by Anonymous

reply 117

10/11/2018

I'm the Jeep that Joe Kennedy II flipped.

by Anonymous

reply 118

10/11/2018

Grass stains on clothing after family flag football matches on the backyard would later press me into service. Household staff would simply "Shout it out!"

by Anonymous

reply 119

10/11/2018

Hey there! I'm the sturdy rafter in the back barn converted to artist studio that Mary had full trust in.

by Anonymous

reply 120

10/11/2018

The midatlantic loaner horse that threw Jackie using dead stop technique because of my allergies to her saturation of tar and nicotine

by Anonymous

reply 121

10/11/2018

I'm a Boiler Room girl who partied at Chappaquiddick and I helped in the cover-up.

by Anonymous

reply 122

10/11/2018

R111 Holy fucking shit! Are they in direct relation to the Windsors? You have all of that money and refuse to get your teeth sorted? I don't get that at all.

by Anonymous

reply 123

10/11/2018

[quote][R111] Holy fucking shit! Are they in direct relation to the Windsors? You have all of that money and refuse to get your teeth sorted? I don't get that at all.

There's nothing physically wrong with their teeth that would necessitate dental work (like overbite, crookedness). It's just that their teeth are so plastic-looking that they look like they're wearing oversized dentures or had overdone it on the veneers. It's like their version of the Hapsburg chin. As soon as you see those choppers on anyone, 99% of the time it's a Kennedy.

by Anonymous

reply 124

10/12/2018

Case in point about infamous "Kennedy teeth" (Maria Shriver and family).

by Anonymous

reply 125

10/12/2018

I think the 'teeth situation' is exacerbated by a lack of an upper lip.

by Anonymous

reply 126

10/12/2018

I'm a Shar-Pei. I'm often mistaken for a Kennedy woman.

by Anonymous

reply 127

10/12/2018

I'm the Oldsmobile in the water at Chappaquiddick.

by Anonymous

reply 128

10/12/2018

Out of all the Kennedy grandchild Rory is the most hideous one. Even Princess Caroline of Camelot isn't that horrible looking. Caroline's other daughter is ugly and so is the son.

I grew up a southern WASP and everyone looked down their noses at the Kennedys. I used to think it was just because they are Catholic but I think it's more than that. That said I think most people felt the pain of the multi-generational losses they have had over the years.

by Anonymous

reply 140

10/13/2018

I’m the notion that we’re “lace-curtain Irish” but I’m incorrect.

by Anonymous

reply 141

10/13/2018

Shanty Irish

by Anonymous

reply 142

10/14/2018

I'm the middle aged drunk chauffeur dressed in drag from head to toe for some odd reason.....I purposely like to rile Rose while we're driving back and forth from Hyannis to Boston by saying "Well, here we are gain on your father's highway, Mrs. Kennedy." - "FRAAAAAANK! This is NOT my Fahthuh's HIGHWAAAAY!!!!" (the John Fitzgerald Expressway)

by Anonymous

reply 143

10/14/2018

I'm Conor Kennedy's mugshot after his arrest for defending a gay friend.

by Anonymous

reply 144

10/14/2018

I'm the unpaid bills that members of the family leave in their wake because the "common folk" are supposed to be thrilled to serve a Kennedy.

by Anonymous

reply 145

10/15/2018

I'm all of the girls and women that Kennedy boys and men have sexually assaulted. We could fill a stadium.

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