Jennifer Aniston is either back with John Mayer and maybe asking for his hand in marriage because of a> "a barrage of romantic emails from him "(Star), b> her pregnancy with his love child just like in those pictures or c> an insatiable need to look insane in the tabloids.

Henry Kissinger gave a private briefing to 60 plutocrats that was so terrifying he asked all waiters to please leave the room first. It's too late to buy gold bars, but you can probably still get ammunition and anti-radiation medicine. [P6]

Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson and Kevin Connolly may have gone for a swim in dead-guy water. Talk about debauched. [P6]

Paris Hilton swears she wasn't flirting with either of those British princes, boring American boyfriend. Honest! Just ask yourself, Benji Madden: Does that sound like something she would do? [Daily Star]

Donald Trump made a promise that may have turned out to be just a publicity stunt. Shocking! As a result, Ed McMahon continues to wonder why someone won't bring an enormous check to his door, just this once. [P6]

Britney Spears was rumored to be reuniting with the father of her children, but instead she's wearing a ring from her scuzzy paparazzo ex-boyfriend. [Fox News]

Anne Hathaway said she met a "sexy guy" in LA who is "kind of doing it for me right now." His name is Please Stop Talking About My Convicted Felon Ex-Boyfriend Here Will This Rumor Finally Make You Shut Up? [People]