The Problem of SufferingResponding to Sufferingby Paul Hazelden

Introduction

Our aim in responding to suffering should be to help the
individual. What we say must be:

true;

relevant;

understandable; and

effective.

I am seeking to develop some guidelines.

At present, the aim of these guidelines is to help people find
their way through a complex subject, so they can be helpful to
others. This is not an attempt to produce a tract or booklet
which can be given to someone who is suffering or who has problems
about the question of suffering. That may come later.

Aim

True

For a response to be helpful, it must be true.

I am prepared to argue this point if necessary, but I believe
that no lie has the power to help anyone in the long run. A lie
may appear to help, and may appear to make life easier in the
short term, but this is only an illusion. The power of lies, such
as it exists, is in the illusions they create. They have no realk
power, and cannot provide what we need.

In Christian terms, 'truth' can be equated to 'sound theology'
- speaking truth about God and about the realities He tells us
about.

Relevant

To b e helpful, what we say must not only be relevant to the
other person, but must be understood by them to be relevant.

Understandable

To be helpful, what we say must be understood by the other
person.

This is much more than the mechanical aspects of talking loudly
and distinctly enough, or talking in the right language.

To be understandable, we must be using concepts which make
sense.

Effective

Tho be helpful, the things we say must make a difference. Our
words can be true, relevant and understandable, but still be
ineffective because they are considered to be unimportant - either
unimportant in absolute terms, or unimportant when compared to
other factors.

Guidelines

The most important question is the one about motivation. In
order to respond appropriately, you simply must understand the
motivation of the person you are talking with.