What To Do If Your Boy Hates Reading

I hear it a lot. “My boy hates reading. I get him a lot of books but he doesn’t like any of them.” Well, that doesn’t mean he hates to read. But let’s take a look at reading and what we can do to help boys who say they hate it.

I will share exactly what to do if your boy hates reading and how to fix it.

Boys who say they hate reading are likely under a lot of pressure to read. The pressure can come from school and/or from home.

Boys who say they hate reading are usually not being listened to. You need to get to the bottom of what they mean by that statement. Do they mean they hate reading the books that they don’t like? I had that problem in school. I hated having someone tell me what to read.

Are you making the assumption that he hates reading because he is not reading what you think he should be reading? Be honest here.

We need to see what the issues are before we can fix them. Since reading is very important in a boy’s learning life we need to get to the bottom of this.

We are going to focus on reading at home and what we can do to help boys. If you keep doing what you have always done, you are going to get the same results. Be willing to take a new approach.

I want you to know that you are not alone. The U.S. Department of Education reading tests for the last 30 years show boys scoring worse than girls in every age group, every year. (Guys Read) There are a lot of boys who hate reading and many who struggle with it. This is awful news and something we need to work hard to change.

First and foremost find out if there is a reading issue. Does he need glasses? Is dyslexia involved? Rule out other possible reading problems. This list is not for boys who are having those type of problems, although everything on it will likely help!

If your boy says that he hates reading, or you think that he hates reading we need to take action now. Follow the suggestions on this list and be very open to making some changes.

What to do if your boy hates reading:

1. Stop saying things like “he hates reading”

Right now, today, stop and never say it again. Not in front of him, to other people or even to yourself. Don’t say “he isn’t a reader,” “he stinks at reading,” “he can’t read very well,” “he doesn’t read like his sister/brother/cousin/friend does.” Just stop – please. These are terrible things to say. Most of the time they are not accurate either.

I have had a mom, with her son standing right next to her, tell me “he hates reading.” Well, nothing like setting the stage for that to be true. If your boy is continually hearing you saying that he hates reading or that he is a poor reader it is not going to help his confidence.

2. Listen to him

If he says he hates reading, ask what he means by that. Gently ask him to explain what he doesn’t like about it. Listen, but don’t discount whatever is said. You also don’t need to do more than just taking the time to hear what he has to say.

Remember listening is not making suggestions or saying “of course you like reading,” it is being quiet and really hearing him.

Listening will give you a very good idea of the direction you need to go next.

3. Stop pressuring him to read

Stop testing him to see if he knows a word or knows what something says. Stop pushing him to read this book or that book.

No one likes to be put on the spot and when you are of the mindset that you hate something, anything done to force you to do that something isn’t conducive to helping you enjoy it.

Offer to read to him whenever he would like you to. Don’t force him to do the reading.

4. Leave him alone

I know you are worried. I know you want to fix it. I know this is a tough one. Hear me out. Forcing isn’t going to work. I briefly explained why above.

You need to leave him alone and let him have some time away from reading. You need to let it go for a while. Let the stress that this is resulting from this go. Try to start over so to speak.

Give him some space. This seriously works wonders.

5. Observe His Reading Habits

Watch. Observe. When is he doing a bit of reading?

Believe me, he is still reading–maybe not books–but perhaps on the computer or the back of the cereal box.

Try to see when he is actually reading and what he is drawn to. Don’t make any comments, just observe. This will help you with step #9.

6. Let him read what he wants to read

Tell him that he is now free to choose to read whatever he wants to read. He doesn’t have to read chapter books to have it count as reading! Note: I understand that some families have reading guidelines but if they are too restrictive this won’t work well.

Tell him that if there is something he would like to read he should simply let you know and you will get it for him.

7. Go to a library or bookstore weekly

Go to the library or a bookstore on a regular basis. I suggest trying to get there at least once each week, preferably on the same day. Make it part of a routine and go in a totally no pressure way.

Do not require that he check anything out or purchase anything. Do not show him books “he might like.”

Just go and choose some books for yourself and for your family and ask if he would like anything. Period. Ask once. No pressure – remember!

8. Bring a lot of different types of reading materials into his life

While at the library choose some books, magazines, and books-on-cd or Playaway, on topics that he is interested in. Bring a lot of different things home and just leave them laying about. If you take your whole selection back each time without him touching a single one – so be it.

Remember to give him choices, but no pressure, no prodding, no “are you sure you don’t want to read this one?” Also don’t feel bad if he doesn’t want any of the items you offer. Just keep at it.

9. Follow his passions

If he is into birds grab a bunch of bird books and Birds and Blooms magazine. If he is into Minecraft find books on that. If he loves LEGO order a few LEGO books and have them shipped – everyone loves getting packages!

In step number 5 I suggested that you observe him to see what he is actually reading. Now is the time to take that information and go to work. Whatever he was reading a bit of you want to provide more of the same. Don’t push – just make it available in your home.

Print out an article from one of his favorite websites, bookmark a spot in a book that talks about a game he likes, circle something in a magazine (including a picture with a small caption) that he might like.

Put print that matches the things that he really likes directly in his path .

10. Remember not all reading takes place by reading books

Don’t discount other reading. So often I hear boy moms say that their boy hates to read and he is reading! He is reading manuals, he is reading instructions for video games, he is looking things up on the Internet, or treading comics in the newspaper.

If you have already said some negative things about his reading, apologize and mention casually that you noticed that he does seem to enjoy reading, just not the type of reading you were thinking about. It all counts my friends. Value it. Reading is reading.

11. Give it time

Doing these things will create an environment that will help your boy to realize that he may not really hate reading after all. You play a huge role in this moms and dads. Sorry to say it but you can make (or break) your boy’s love of reading.

If you follow these steps one-by-one you will see results but you need to be patient. You need to actually follow through with no pressure and give it time to work. If you start to push, you might have to start at the beginning again.

Think about it this way. It is likely that he didn’t come to hate reading overnight. Once someone thinks they hate something it is very hard to get them to move away from that thought.

Moving your boy from hating reading to loving to read is not going to happen overnight either. You need to be patient and know that it can be done!

12. Takeaway: You Can Do This!

If you follow the advice here and

be open to making changes

watch what you say

listen to him

don’t pressure him

leave him alone

observe and watch him read

give him free reading choices

go to places with books on a regular basis

strew a variety of reading materials around

provide print materials that match his passions

value reading for reading no matter where or how it occurs

are patient and give it time

you will go a long way toward instilling a love a reading in his life.

If you have any questions about helping your boy move past “I hate reading” feel free to leave a comment or contact me and I will help.

You can take a look at our best books for boys lists to find books that appeal to boys. We have a lot of lists on a variety of topics available.

First of all, I love your website .
Secondly, my son is 8 and still learning to read.

So he still requires lessons . I am currently using All about Reading which is slow phonics based system.

He still prefers I read to him. I do see him reading video game prompts and reading Netflix titles.
We also do a silly sentence using magnetic words on the fridge . Each family member shuffles the words around and the others have to come and read it.

My question is how to teach him to read when he rather do something else? Is there a fun way to teach the fundamentals without driving him nuts?

Hi Damali,
I am so happy you stopped by. Thank you for your kind words about our site – that means a lot!
I am guessing you are homeschooling as you mention using a specific program for helping him learn to read. (If I am wrong – briefly tell me the situation and I will reply)

Does he like the program you are using? If so, I would keep the lessons super short.
If not, I would tend to drop it for a while.

It sounds like you do see him reading which is great. Does he have a video game that he likes a lot? Could you find something that you could read to him surrounding that interest?

Love your idea of silly sentences – I did that with my son too. It was always fun. Is he pretty much able to read the sentences?

As to your question of teaching him to read when he would rather do something else. I can only give you my experience but I wouldn’t push it. If you are homeschooling and he has some basic reading down I would follow some of the steps I outlined here. Especially the ones that relate to finding materials that he might be intrigued enough by to pick them up.

Above all keep reading everything that he wants you to read. If he asks what a word says, I would just tell him instead of having him sound it out. If he can’t read something, tell him what it says.

If you are indeed homeschooling, then you have time. And for many boys time is all they need.

If you have further information you want to share or have any additional questions, I am here. Just leave a comment and I will reply soon.

Yes. We do homeschool. I still feel outside pressure because he is 8 for him to read. Most times,
I am able to respect his process. But I do struggle with it. Possibly because we homeschool under a charter school and have to do some testing.

We have been having a great time with audio books, currently on Percy Jackson and the Iightning thief. We put it in our car and when we travel on our long field trips it really does make the drive more pleasant.

He says, he thinks All about reading is boring but when we play the games in the curriculum he enjoys it.

This is a new year, so I will take a look at where he is at and see if it’s just hard or truly boring.

Thanks again for the great site and wonderful advice. It really helps me to find new ways of reaching him.

I know this was written years ago. This describes my son exactly. He’s 7, we home school with a teacher overlooking. It’s unlikely you’ll see this haha but I’m wondering how you’re son is doing now and if you have any advice. The only thing my son will read is instructions and looking for YouTube Minecraft videos. Hey, it’s a start

Hi Katie,
Nice of you to respond to Damali. I hope she sees your comment.
It is great that your son is showing interest in learning to read because it fits his needs. That is the time when it seems to work best. I know boys who learned a whole lot of reading through playing Minecraft. If you get an opportunity, take a look at this book list and see if you can get a few for him either through the links or if you have a good library system, check some out and just leave them available for him to read or for him to ask you to read to him. Making reading materials available on one of their favorite topics really works well. Best Minecraft Books

As I mention in the article you should rule out any possible problems with reading.
I can understand the issue of outside pressure. Sadly, it happens often when children are not reading at the time that they would be compelled to read in schools.
If there is some pressure from the Charter School due to testing you may have to talk with them about the situation. I can’t really speak to that as I have no experience in that area. Is oral testing a possibility?
It is wonderful that he likes the stories through audio tapes. Keep that up 🙂
So, if he finds reading boring but you said he likes that games you play I would try some more games that surround reading. We have some Sight Word Games here on the site.
See this list of Minecraft books and get a few from the library. See if you can find books on Terraria and Mario as well. Try to get a range of books that you can read to him but also some that are easy – Mario would likely be good for that. Just leave them around for him to find and see if he is interested. Tell him you are happy to read them to him if he likes.
I would also see if he happens to be reading while he is on Minecraft or Terraria. I am thinking of the Minecraft inventory and having to look things up in there. My son learned to spell some words through playing.
Feel free to contact me at any time for additional suggestions.
Best Wishes,
Sheila

This is perfect! I think I pressure my son too much so I backed way off. He is now 4 and we are starting to work on it again. I have been trying to use sight words and make it a game. I think he likes that better.

Yes, yes, and yes again to all of this. Our youngest boy was a very reluctant reader. Until we found out what he really wanted to read, which was anything and everything about construction. 🙂 Now he’s a reading machine, but until we learn what really excites them, it can be like pulling teeth.

Brilliant post! A million thank yous! I work in a library and I have seen well meaning parents putting terrible pressure on their kids to read. I understand their concern, but I see the harm it does. I am pinning this to my blog’s reading board and posting it on the library Facebook page. Thank you again.

I would agree with all of this… however, much of this flies out the window once you realize they are facing dyslexia. My son is severely dyslexic and no amount of waiting or being patient was going to help him. It was only until I started pushing the school, pushing tutoring, pushing additional reading at home that he started to make any type of progress in reading. We were able to catch him up from a beginner 1st grade level to ending at the minimum level for completing 2nd grade all in one year.

He still doesn’t love reading…. but he has always adored being read to and listening to audio books and that hasn’t changed one bit.

Sometimes when kids tell you they hate reading, they’re telling you there’s a MUCH bigger problem going on.

Hi Jennifer,
I said right at the beginning of the article “first and foremost find out if there is a reading issue” and to see if dyslexia is involved. I know people with dyslexia and they needed help to learn to read in a way that worked best for them. I know some of the ideas presented work for children with reading issues because I have seen them work. Taking the pressure off can do wonders. With a child in school, waiting isn’t going to be an option because schools are not set up to wait until kids are ready to read. I’m glad you found out what works best for your son and that you found ways for him to enjoy stories. Thanks for sharing your story.

My son hates to read. Just hates it. I have done some of things you suggested. He pick out books he likes but never reads them. I have done family time reading. Where we all sit down and read what we want. ( dad,sister,son,and me) but no good. I will try the other parts you suggested and see if that works for him. It brakes my heart when I see him cry cause he doesn’t want to read.

Hi Melissa,
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I am so sorry to hear that your son is having difficulty with reading. That is so hard – for both of you. Have you ruled out any reading issues that might be related to dyslexia or perhaps needing glasses etc.? If so, do try some of the other things I suggested. If you are still struggling feel free to contact me and I will try to help you narrow things down a bit more.

Hi Sheila , I do really like this suggestions about the pressure for reading , Im from Mexico and my son were born and raised over there until he was almost 5 so he speak spanish as a first language and now we are struggling with the reading cause he still has problems in reading he reads to me books that he get out from the library but still sometimes he does not want to read it he is trying to sound out some words but sometimes he does not catch the word and I read it to him so my question is it is ok that instead of make him try to sound out it the word I read it to him? and which metod do you recommend for learning vocabulary or playful method to learn words?
Thank you so much
Karla V.

Hi Karla,
Thank you for your nice comment. You don’t say if you are homeschooling him or if he is in school. Feel free to reply with that information if you like. If you are homeschooling and he doesn’t “need” to learn the words in order to move forward with a school program I would continue doing exactly what you are doing. Let him pick out books he might enjoy, read to him and with him and make reading an enjoyable part of your lives.

As far as helping a child with the words goes, this is what I did. If my son was reading and didn’t know a word and asked me what it was I answered him. I didn’t make him struggle to figure it out. I didn’t force him to sound it out. I just told him what the word was.

If he missed a word or said it wrong I would decide if I wanted to say something to him or not. Sometimes I would wait and he would say “oh, that isn’t right.” Sometimes I knew he knew it but just said it wrong. In that case I just let it go. If it happened a few times with the same word I would tell him how to say it.

My son has attention deficit and though it is unlikely, he was reading on a 17th grade level in the fourth grade. His comprehension was very developed. I listened to him complain of boredom with reading and answered his questions. He asked, why do I always want to read the book and not watch the movie. I said “I don’t have to wonder what the characters are thinking.” Less questions in the end or more understanding about the story, I explained.

I started buying him comic books and he loved them. That was only, a start far as I was concerned. I took him to see the movie “Jurassic Park” then, he is thirty years old now. I had read the book, why I took him. He decided, he wanted to compare the two and read the book also. My son was hooked on reading after that and he agreed, the book is better than the movie. He wanted to read everything I read, which wasn’t my intention.

I empowered him by letting him know, if he picked a book he didn’t like he didn’t have to read it. That helped tremendously. Good luck!

Thank you for sharing your story Andrea. Empowering boys in reading is so important. I think you are so right that if you pick up a book and you don’t like it you shouldn’t have to read it. There are far too many good books to force specific titles on a child. It sounds like your son had a lot of support and was a very advanced reader.

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Hi! My name is Sheila and I publish BrainPowerBoy.com with my family. We share information on boys' learning, books for boys, unique toys, LEGO, and many other resources for raising boys who love to learn Learn More…

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