April 22, 2013

BENDO

On Saturday night, UFC lightweight champion Benson Henderson proposed to his girlfriend inside the Octagon following a split-decision win.

That sounds all well and good and good for the two of them because she did say ‘yes’, but there’s something missing in this picture as opposed to the real moment, something that just cannot translate in a 2D still picture from the actual experience of watching it live on television. Do you know what it is? Can you guess?

It was of course all of this…

BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO

BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO

BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO

BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO

BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO

BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO

Yes, the crowd BOOED their proposal.

Who knows how this will go down in UFC lore or if it will be remembered at all. Not to excuse the actions of the fans because I hate booing – it’s childish and primitive – but the crowd wasn’t booing the proposal as much as they were booing the “split-decision” victory that Benson was enjoying over his opponent Gilbert Melendez who was also the hometown fan favorite in San Jose.

So, yes, technically the San Jose HP Pavillion aka the Shark Tank booed a man proposing to his girlfriend. More so, they were booing a fighter they didn’t think won the fight now celebrating and then celebrating even more with this proposal and honestly they couldn’t give a fuck because they thought the other guy, Melendez, had won the fight and deserved to have that belt around his waist.

Some people have been saying, would Ben have proposed if he had lost? Well, given the circumstances of having a close fight in which the crowd thought you lost, but the judges gave you the decision, I think it actually would have gone better if he had lost and then proposed in this situation. Of course, at some point, he could have tried to win the fight and finish Gilbert and if he did then he would’ve been cheered, but instead he did nothing special and eeked out a decision which I thought he lost for the 3rd time in 4 fights.

I wouldn’t have booed him, but I wasn’t happy about how the fight played out. Also, it was pretty obvious if you listened to any of the lead up interviews that he was going to propose. Not the best kept secret.

NBA PLAYOFFS

This man is Lebron James and he will win a second NBA championship.

I’m always here to help and let me help you all with what is going to go down over the next week or two in the first round of the NBA playoffs, which started on Saturday.

East

Miami Heat will beat the Milwaukee Bucks because the Heat are UNSTOPPABLE and the Bucks had a losing record, but still made the NBA playoffs.

New York Knicks will beat the Celtics because the Knicks are pretty good and the Celtics don’t have Rajon Rondo from injuries and Ray Allen plays for the Heat.

Brooklyn Nets will beat the Chicago Bulls because the Bulls are depleted from injuries.

Indiana Pacers will beat the Atlanta Hawks because the Hawks aren’t that good and the Pacers are bunch of rowdy character actors who muscle wins away from average teams.

West

San Antonio Spurs will beat the Los Angeles Lakers because the turtle beat the hare especially when the hare’s got bad knees and ankles and the turtle knows all the shortcuts.

Oklahoma City Thunder will beat the Houston Rockets because the Rockets never do shit in the playoffs since Hakeem “The Dream” Olajuwon retired and the Thunder are the best team in the West.

Los Angeles Clippers will beat the Memphis Grizzlies because CP3 is playing great and the Clippers play the first two games at home and because the Lord Viceroy of the NBA David Stern will want one of the Los Angeles teams to make it to the second round.

Denver Nuggest beat the Golden State Warriors because David Lee from the Warriors got hurt and he’s out and Denver will win by default being the only other team on the court.

I’ll keep you caught up when we go to the second round. But feel free sharing that shit.

If you get caught with a person asking you too specific of a question, just fall back and say something about how the NBA isn’t as good as it was when we were growing up and the person will no doubt agree with you no matter how much younger or older they are than you and they will probably go off on a nostalgic tear or moment of reflection that you can sneak out during.

GAME OF THRONES

Overall, it was a pretty good episode. Mostly because of the ending being cool and full of hope that even cooler things are to come, but if you’ve read the book – that’s not necessarily the case. Listening/reading people’s ideas who haven’t read the book about what is going to happen in next is always entertaining because they are always wrong. None of them could truly foresee the staggeringly slow pace of unfolding events.

Especially, when it comes to Dany. It’s hilarious listening to what people think is going to happen with Dany.

Or what they think will happen with the white-walkers. That’s funny shit too.

I feel like everything that is happening with Theon is going over non-book readers’ heads.

I feel like everything that is happening with Arya is going over non-book readers’ heads.

I feel like almost everything that is happening with Bran is going over non-book readers’ heads.

I feel like most non-book readers’ heads just know Bran as the crippled kid or paralyzed kid and not much more than that.

I feel like everything that is happening with Sansa is not going over non-book readers’ heads, but just seen as boring. Although, that will change… sort of.

And I don’t think it’s the non-book readers’ heads fault and it is the show’s fault for not explaining any of this.

Like last night, they introduce us to Beric Dondarrion. Which was most likely a big “who?” from anyone who hasn’t read the book. And should be because they don’t talk about Beric Dondarrion in the show and then he shows up. Even before that, the guy who takes Arya and the Hound to Beric is a character named Thoros of Myr who should still be a big “who?” from people who haven’t read the book because he’s just some dude to a TV show watcher and nothing more. I would even give big credit for TV show watchers to be able to remember that guy’s name and match it to a picture of him because they haven’t done shit to make him worth remembering thus far.

But oh yes, Beric. BERIC! Oh how we are all captivated by another white man and this time he’s wearing an eye patch. God bless the eye patch because that may make his character stick out more. Although, next week it seems like they’ll show him doing some more memorable things, but I don’t think they’ve set them up well enough for people to get the gravity of the situation, but whatever.

One thing that this show does as a disservice in a sense is even calling itself “Game of Thrones”. That is an appropriate title for most of the shit that is happening, but the book is actually called “A Song of Ice and Fire” and with that FIRE and ICE are big deals in these books. But whatever… shit doesn’t really happen in them anyway. So, here’s hoping for more nudity.

VEEP

Best show on TV.

Nothing bad to say about it.

I love it.

I wish there was a new episode on this second.

MAD MEN

Well, more of the same.

I feel like the show is just running through the motions at this point.

We’ve seen Don chastise women for being unfaithful and then he cheats on them with another woman. We’ve also seen Don give that same speech he gave Linda Cardelini just a couple weeks ago when they were eating dinner together. I’m gonna fuck you so good blah blah blah your shoes will be on backwards or something. Don’s doing the same old same old.

Joan? Yeah, she’s flipped out on secretaries before and done all that bitchy mother hen shit or whatever. Same old same old with her as well.

Harry? Literally, this same thing happened so that he could get the job he has now.

Same shit, different episode. It’s still a great plot driven billboard for 60’s fashion. Everyone looks great. Some of the outfits are random, but whatever. Don’s secretary named Don wore a silver blazer, a pink tuxedo shirt, and a brown and green plaid skirt. Fair enough!

REESE “Do You Know Who I Am?” WITHERSPOON

Just read about Reese Witherspoon’s interaction with the cop who was arresting her husband for a DUI and shortly thereafter arrested for disorderly conduct. She apparently was yelling at the cop “do you know who I am?!” Hahahah… The cop said he didn’t. And, she fired back “You’re about to find out!” as if she was so gangster that following her words a ninja army would appear out of the shadows with their swords and shurikens drawn – “I’m Reese Witherspoon, the Shogun of Hollywood”.

Shut up, Reese. The lead from “Legally Blonde” doesn’t wield any power over the police.

It would only have been better if she shouted something like, “I WON THREE MTV MOVIE AWARDS IN THE SAME YEAR, ASSHOLE! 2002, MOTHERFUCKER! IMDB THAT SHIT WITH YOUR BITCH ASS PIG FINGERS!” Or something.