So, crazy people are everywhere. You’re probably wondering: how do
you spot them before you get involved with them? And more importantly,
how do know when you’re dating
one of these crazy girls?

Well my good friend, wonder no more. What follows this brief
introduction will serve you well as a complete guide to detecting those
mad as a March hare, no matter how well they think they cover it up.

Crazy Girls, Red Flags

You’ve heard this term before: the warning that tells of approaching
danger. In this follow up to Chase’s “8 Red Flags She’s a Crazy Girl You Should
Stay Away From”, I’m going to swiftly, yet thoroughly, run
through my own top 9 red flags you need to spot before getting too
involved with that charming little gal you’ve met.

Let’s start with some of the more small-time tip-offs.

Red Flag #1:
Doesn’t own a smartphone

Okay, I told you the first couple would seem pretty insignificant,
didn’t I?

But actually, this one might be a bit more salient than you
think.

I can’t think of anything worse than hooking
up with a girl who
can’t operate simple tech devices. I fix my grandmother’s computer
enough as it is. Forget about the fact that her email asks if you wore
a condom (you didn’t) and whether or not she should go pick up some
Plan B (she should), instead, you should be concerned about the AOL
email address she’s sending it from.

Might as well forget about
checking your fantasy football standings at her house (she’s still on
dial-up), and you can say goodbye to your go-to soft porn DVDs that you
use to spice things up (she’s rocking a VHS player).

Although this was more of an attempt at humor than an actual warning
sign, if I found out a girl didn’t have a smart phone… I’d probably
just delete her number. Maybe this is more valid than I originally
thought. So, there you have it. Red Flag #1 is “Doesn’t own a
smartphone”.

Red Flag #2: Has
multiple cats

Beware the crazy cat lady! I’d even caution that one cat is 100% a
red flag. Why’s that, you ask? A woman who gets a cat generally does so
to fulfill a desire for a companion, allowing her to remain detached
from human relationships.

If you like cats, that’s completely fine. I actually don’t mind
them. But when a girl has two or three or more of them… well that
causes a bit of concern for me. Not only is the copious animal hoarding
of multiple cat owners likely a sign of some sort of personality
disorder, but who really wants boxes of crap in their house anyway?

Maybe she’s just been a victim of bad
luck or just plagued by her taste in alpha males who tend to be
polyamorous by nature. But,
maybe she’s crazy. Maybe she’s horrible in
bed or emotionally cold and distant.

A lot of men will cheat on their lovers anyway, but if it’s
happening to her time and time again then it is fair to believe that
there’s more than meets the eye. Steer yourself clear of women who
can’t keep a man, because there’s usually a (very good) reason for it.

Red Flag #4:
Doesn’t have any cool, attractive friends

Well, first things first: you can trash the whole threesome
idea.
Seriously though, if a girl doesn’t have any dateable friends, it says
much more about her than it does her friends. Does she lack
self-confidence? Is she paranoid that hotter friends would bring more
female competition? Or maybe
she’s just a bitch?

Trust me, you’re better off
not sticking around to find out.

My reasoning here is that people
tend to surround themselves with
like-valued people. If a girl seems attractive and socially
adept, then
why does she hang out with these not-so-attractive, not-so-socially
adept people?

Maybe you should worry about
what she has inside that you haven’t seen yet. Attractive people with
severe character flaws are all over the place, and you can usually find
them around either other good-looking/crazy types or milking the social
value out of perfectly sane people who might just happen to
be a little
lower on the totem pole, socially speaking.

Red Flag #5:
Interested in [your] money

We’re starting to get into the heavy-hitters now. A huge thing to be
wary of is a woman who seems overly interested in your career and how
much money you make and spend. Of course a girl should be
concerned
about your financial stability if she views you as a potential
long-term partner. However, a lot of
girls just want some free jewelry
or clothes.

Girls who gold-dig have a sense of entitlement. They feel like they
deserve to be treated well by default, and that includes knowing that
someone is willing to spoil them and spend money on them. Women like
this suffer from a host of narcissistic symptoms and
behaviors, such as:

Grandiose sense of self-importance

Fantasies of unrealistic success, power, or beauty

Believe they are “special” and should only
associate with
high-status people

So, as you can see, this is a big one. Women that have one eye on
your wallet, have the other eye on your neck. They’re also very often
sociopaths, who will do whatever they have to (even if it means hurting
people) to get what they desire.

Red Flag #6:
She’s a Drama Queen

All
women need social interaction, feedback, and validation of their
worth in a relationship. However, the Drama Queen takes this to
heightened levels with her low self-esteem, low
self-confidence, and
unreasonable insecurities.

To compensate for those feelings of
lowliness, the Drama Queen spends a large portion of her life
manufacturing situations in which she can become the center of
attention.

Drama Queens wear
you down. She might be beautiful and exciting at
first, but dealing with one dramatic episode after the next will take a
toll on you. Drama Queens are a lot like (late comedian Mitch Hedberg’s
explanation of) pancakes: “All exciting at first, but by the end you’re
[f*ckin] sick of ‘em”.

These women are masters of manipulation and often suffer from some
sort of borderline personality disorder.
Their relationships with other
people are unstable and they don’t have a real identity. The constant
moods swings – on the war path one minute and fine the next – along
with their general immaturity, is tough to put up with, no matter how
pretty she is or how good she is in bed.

All in all, dating a Drama Queen is
just going to put a lot on your
plate. You’re constantly doing damage control, helping her
through some
made-up catastrophic life event, or comforting her through a mysterious
illness at the seemingly most inconvenient times. Don’t do it.

Red Flag #7: Does
hard drugs

Sure,
dating a stripper can be fun. But does she bang heroin and
snort coke? Prison tattoo on her ass? Blowing bong hits in the cat’s
face?

Some of this stuff is less harmful, such as marijuana, of course.
But people who become dependent on hard drugs and narcotics are another
matter. They hurt their spouses and children, destroy relationships,
and most who become addicted can never quit.

I’m not an anti-drug crusader by any means, and have dabbled in some
of this recreationally at some point in my life. I’m not one to judge.
But judging people isn’t the issue
here; avoiding being trapped in a
relationship with an unstable female is.

Also, who wants the cops busting you for your girl’s dope or
paraphernalia that she left in the console of your car? Then add in the
fact that addicts will often perform sex acts as a form of payment for
their drug of choice, and it gets pretty scary.

Red Flag #8: She
uses “no sex” as a form of punishment

One of the things that we learn as we become better seducers, is
that the power of sex that women can yield lessens more and more as we
become better, sexier men. However, if you’re
going to enter a
relationship with a woman (and keep it monogamous too), then she will
regain quite a bit of this power.

For the women who refuse sex as a means of punishment for their
husband or lover, there’s a major question mark around their
appreciation for sex, as well as their overall personality. It’s a
scary proposition, isn’t it? A woman
who withholds sex from a man as a
means of punishing him is all about control. Her passive aggression is
just a way of expressing anger. Not to mention, they
hooked you in with
sincerity and now they’re cutting you off? No way.

The only way to survive a sexless relationship is to get the heck
out of it. Tell her to take her damaged self-image, shame, and
unhealthy beliefs, and hit the trail. Being
in a relationship with a
woman who withholds sex will damage you in ways you never thought
possible. It makes you feel powerless, sexually undesirable,
unattractive, and with enough time and repeated rejection, you’ll
succumb to self-fulfilling prophecies so bad that you’ll need therapy
to help you move on.

Red Flag #9:
Potential Stalker

When
you think of a stalker, you probably picture some creepy
guy
watching some woman change clothes through her bedroom window with a
pair of binoculars. But the truth is that women are just as likely to
stalk as men are, and you need to be on the lookout for the warning
signs.

This is the most dangerous of the
red flags. A woman who is stalking
you may mean harm to you. How do you realize a potential stalker in the
making? This can prove to be rather difficult, as a woman with stalker
tendencies will usually have a fairly innocuous profile. After all, she
has to fly under the radar.

Does she call or text you 20 times a day or more, and get upset if
you don’t respond immediately? Does she clutter your Facebook timeline
with love poems and .jpeg images of happy couples kissing under a
waterfall? Does she miraculously appear in various places whenever you
step out your front door? Things like this may be a little flattering
at first, but they are cause for worry.

Similar to a gold-digger, there’s a list of traits for you to
observe:

Women who stalk have been found to actually be more persistent than
male stalkers, given the motivations (obsessive thoughts about
relationships versus simply attraction or sex), so they can be
especially dangerous.

Not only are stalkers potentially harmful to you, but overall
they’re just a drag. How would you
feel if you were out on a nice
dinner date with some lovely brown-eyed beauty, only to have some
crazed former love interest storm into the restaurant and cause a
scene? It’s happened to me, and it’s certainly not a pretty
sight to
behold.

The Checkered Flag

If you’re reading this, then you have successfully made it through
my own personal list of red flags to look for when I begin dating a new
girl. If she checks off even one
of these boxes, she’s a goner.

There’re quite a lot more red flags out there. Like I said, these
are just mine, based off of my dating experiences. Any of the girls
exhibiting these traits or tendencies will be a handful, trust me. So
it’s best to look out for these things early on so you’re not feeling
trapped and overwhelmed later.

If you do find yourself entrapped by some nutty girl, don’t minimize
it or be too nice. It’s easy sometimes to simply act like it’s not a
big deal and just blow her off. Though, that’s a treacherous road with
women like this because they’re unpredictable. Blowing her off just
gives fuel for more crazy. No reason to sugarcoat things. Just say no
and walk away.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Osho, a mystic and master and
teacher of philosophy who traveled throughout India during the 1960s as
a public speaker:

“With me,
illusions are bound to be shattered. I am here to shatter all
illusions. Yes, it will irritate you, it will annoy you – that's my way
of functioning and working. I will sabotage you from your very roots!
Unless you are totally destroyed as a mind, there is no hope for you.”

- J.J.

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Comments

I just watched a show yesterday about a guy who got approached and involved with Jodi Arias before she commited her crime. It freaked me out that some good looking 115 lb. woman could commit a gruesome crime like that.

Hey JJ, interesting article.
One thing that puzzles me though, is the cat, or animal ownership thing - I used to think that not being a pet person at all, was something of a red flag too, as it suggests the girl may not be very nurturing (definitely a minus in my book). So, I'm wondering if the same applies to owning a dog/other pets, or would you say that cat ladies are somehow more peculiar than the rest?

Yeah man, you make a good point there. I suppose there's an upside if you choose to look at it that way. Again, it was one of the first couple that I noted wasn't really all that big of a deal. Maybe it's just a turn-off for me, personally. I have a German Rottweiler, and have always preferred large dogs to other pets. He does live in the house mostly, but goes to the bathroom in a self-designated spot in the backyard (which makes it easy to clean up, and it's not in my house stankin' up the place). He's loving, playful and protective. So yeah, probably a bit biased toward dogs here... but I always hate to hear girls say things like- "I don't think I'm going to go out (and socialize) tonight, I have a play date with mittens!"... Get real ;)

So again, that one I just kind of threw in there because I'm sharing my own experiences and views. However, MULTIPLE cats is never good!

Yeah, that smartphone thing is a little bit nonsense. But still funny :D
It is hard to find a girl who doesn't know how to send email unless you're dating old ladies, good for you then. Not chasing those technologies may be good thing as well, much better than a facebook addict or a girl dying because her shoes today are not of her favorite color.

Funny I get my arse reamed over the one I deliberately made sure to note wasn't really that big of a deal =) Again, as I said, these are just my own personal peeves resulting from my own experiences. Use them (or don't) as you see fit (or unfit).

However, saying it should be the complete opposite (re: smartphones) doesn't seem very smart either, unless you wish to live a life of near celibacy. If you were to screen out all the women who DO own smartphones or other similar devices, you're essentially eliminating 95% of your dating options.

PS- I don't allow girls to overuse their phones while we are together anyway. That's a good way to quickly lose my attention!

Maybe you could write about more dangerous stuff like her desire to check your phone which may seem innocent and her desire to have you in her life, but might be sign of personality disorder too. One important topic which is hard to understand - defending a girl.
Some points that make it tricky:
* Defender is the one who needs it more (=chasing)
* Guy needs to defend his girl sometimes because she is weaker
* Guy may be not so strong to get over some kind of enemies (some kind stronger ones, maybe physically)
* There may be other stronger male threatening to overtake a girl and guy is just an obstacle
* Guy needs to look strong even when situation is not equal
* She doesn't expect you to leave her in tough situation and 'be there while things are right'.

Let's say she brings it in conversation 'What would you do if 5 guys come to us and threatened you to help them rape me. You couldn't do anything about it, do you?'
Well, you can logically ask, or laugh at it as not a big deal, but she may insist with this one as her own insecurity issue.
'defending' is worth its own article, cause mainstream really teaches guys just to be her perfect man and take care of every her moan and whine, well - you can don't do that, but when it comes to defending she is questioning your masculinity in one way or another, cause a strong man can defend himself and the things important to him.

I would X ANY guy off my list if he had a Fartphone other than for work! That being said, I came upon this website because my husband has an acquantance stalker at his work we are trying to get rid of. I believe she has BPD and other mental illnesses, so sad but not our problem to fix.
I just had to comment though. It's sooo retarded to see "couples" at a beautiful candle light restaurant ignoring each other for a couple of hours while they are bent over on their Fartphones. My husband and I are constantly pointing these types out to each other :)

Thank you for clarifying the Drama Queen label. Most men (clearly immature men) use the Drama Queen card to deflect their behavior and project onto girls because they don't want to be honest with themselves that they're being selfish and it's easier to label the girl who is legitimately pissed because she's not being validated.

Men are equally as guilty as women going into any sort of relationship expecting the opposite sex to be something they're not. The majority of women are emotional and any guy to expect otherwise especially after making her feel undervalued, is emotionally immature.