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Captain America will take you through a comprehensive guide on how to survive the gym.

Coming Soon: Don’t Make Me Hungry. You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Hungry

Stay tuned for the ultimate guide to hypertrophy nutrition.

Coming Soon: DSW Night Crawler

BAMF!

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Lady Carnage. Nice.

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Wasp, rumoured to be in Avengers, during Marvel's phase 2.

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Ms Captain America is quite popular these days.

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Lady Venom? Preparing for a night on the raz?

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That's my kinda ward.

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Anime Wonder Woman. Befitting and sexy. Good combo.

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In an alternate reality, Stark was rather sultry.

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Another befitting cosplay. Yummy.

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Awesome Iron Man outfit Stark would be proud..

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That is the cutest Bat Girl ever.

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S&M Super Girl. Sweet.

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Untouchable. Literally.

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Hardly proper plumbing attire.

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A very sexy Psylocke indeed.

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Oh, sweet Chun-li and your athletic thighs. Hmmm

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Harley has always had a special place in my larcenous heart, it's that cute Brooklyn accent that does it.

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That, is the most awesome Judge Death costume. Impressed would be an understatement.

It took a while, but your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor, after much undignified ransacking piles of disorganised documents, has located the most appropriate qualifications to display. Hopefully this should instil my beloved readers with trust in Level Up's advice. Yay.

For those of my beloved readers who are not familiar with Systemic kinesiology, it is the science of biological movement.

Managed to blag this one by getting a loan from the princes Trust. Oh, and studying of course. This qualification completes my knoweledge of all the human systems; skeletal, muscular, cardiovascular, lymphatic, endocrine etc. Enhancing my advice to you, beloved reader and also making me a more efficient killer.

My favourite and most recent. There are plenty more qualifications where that came from, and hopefully should be removing any doubts in your mind about a blogger who attempts to transform people into Superheroes and believes in the abstract concept of levelling up.

Monthly Archives: April 2013

After the last instalment of designer superhero workouts, this one seems like a walk in the park. Just minus the walking. And maybe even the park. There will be no cardio in this one. Just iron. Lots of gorgeous iron.

Many have tried to bring a definitive Thor based workout to the masses when the first Thor movie was released, but failed miserably, because they are those same harbingers of falsehoods and fitness myths that I find myself battling in literary format 24/7. That is unless I can actually get my mitts on ’em. Then its red to the elbow o’clock.

I rest my well-informed case. That is just begging for an injury.Worse yet, the ‘personal trainer’ will have some bull-s**t justification for this ‘Final Destination’ style death waiting to happen. You’d be safer eating a bowl of corn flakes filled with claymore mines.

It has been attempted by bodybuilding.com, behindtheworkout com, muscleandbrawn.com, and even Men’s ‘Health’ magazine. Only on the extremely rare occasion these sites / publications have some decent information; these particular articles in question was farcical.

None of the above clearly have any understanding of the biology, kinesiology or any of the myriad concepts that influence the complex machine that is the human being to stimulate attribute improvement.

I can, without doubt beloved reader, having spoken to no one that has tried these so-called workout plans, be sure that they didn’t get the results they were looking for. They may have got some results, but nowhere near as constructive as a truly well-informed, anatomically and plan adhering to the fine science of kinesiology.

The biggest problem we face with these articles, is that the majority of the writers of them are merely familiar with exercise equipment and seemingly completely lacking any understanding of anatomy, apart from a vague awareness of humanoid form. Taking advice from these ill-informed cretins is akin to asking a bus driver how to perform brain surgery.

Now that I’ve just made a bunch of enemies within the fitness and fitness magazine industries; (imagine thunder and lightning whilst reading this please), your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor presents:

The Asgardian Power-House Workout

Majestic, powerful and a freakin’ demigod for crying out loud.Who wouldn’t want such power?

This periodized program like the other designer Superhero workout plans will be a 12 week fast-track, hard-core plan. But will have an extra week post-main plan, as a kind of ‘warm-up’ week. The power work involved is extremely intense business and if strict form and perfect technique is not adhered to may lead to injury. Therefore, this ‘warm-up’ week is to ensure that you, beloved reader, do not get injured.

Remember, beloved reader, this series of workouts are for the truly hard-core among us, those who will let nothing stand between them and god-like power.

No chance Super-ham, it’s an Excalibur situation.

Unlike the extremely complex Spiderman workout, which would have required either a gym, (EEK), membership or very comprehensive and expensive set of home workout equipment. The Thor workout is can be done at home away from all those sweaty-know-it-all-gym-rats. This is all free weights, as primal as it gets; picking up huge items made of cast iron and showing them who’s the boss. Like a boss. An Asgardian boss.

As these exercises require perfect technique; your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor has used his valuable and very limited online storage space to provide you with the best instructional videos I could find, as well as some handy links. Be sure to absorb the videos safety and exercise technique information only; the rest is superfluous.

That is until Level Up has its own studio. Then yours truly will be providing you with bullet proof instructional videos. Yay.

Week 1: Foundation techniques

This week takes the full workout plan of phase 1 of this periodized program, and breaks it down into only one of the exercises per day. Start mega-light, just the barbell with no added resistance to begin with.

When you become comfortable with the technique itself; slowly, gradually bring the resistance up. I would suggest at no more than 2.5 kg increases per set, if not even smaller increments.

Do as many sets as possible to get the muscles used to contracting in that manner. It’s a strange kinesiological fact, but muscles seem to have the need to ‘learn’. You have the whole workout to master one single exercise each day of this week. This also adds the advantage of having a pretty good idea how much weight you’ll be lifting before you begin the routine proper.

Perform 5 repetitions each time, rest about a minute before the next set. This is a cheeky tactic invented by the legendary Reg Park .

Legendary body-builder Reg Park had the ideal Superhero physique.

Squats

The following is some of the best squatting technique advice I’ve had the pleasure to encounter. It is also your first opponent on the path to Asgardian might. Also known as Monday. That’s it. The first day of ‘warm-up’ week is squats, squats, squats and then more squats. Enjoy.

Dead-lifts

This will be Tuesday’s workout, dead-lifting. Called by some the ‘king of lifts’ because they work almost every muscle in your body.

I could happily watch her dead-lift all day. Also she is a shining example that women doing weights, does not produce this:

Bent-over barbell rows

A tricky exercise to maintain proper form on, but if perfected, one of the most effective techniques to get the latissimus dorsi pumped up. I’m pretty sure you’ve figured out by now that this is the only move on the agenda for Thursday.

By now, if you are going to the gym for these training sessions you may find the meat-head, jocks and gym-rats are probably gonna give you weird looks, ignore them, they should be concentrating on their own workouts.

If they are staring because they don’t understand what you’re doing, then that just demonstrates their lack of fitness knowledge. Even worse; these malefic perpetrators of misinformation may try to give you ‘advice’. Politely decline, preferably with a wry smirk upon your face that tells them “I know something you don’t know.” Ignore them.

This movement will produce that Superhero ‘V’ shape so desired by many.

Military press

Friday is here. Yay. Half day at work for most of you Londoners, so extra fuel in the tank for the splendid exercise known as the military press. Bet you can’t guess how it got named,eh?

This will blast the deltoids extremely hard, so just as with all the exercises before begin with just the barbell, to get used to the technique, perform 5 repetitions, rest one minute, add a little resistance and have at it again.

Now that’s what you call a military press y’all. Soon, beloved reader, soon you shall know the strength of Asgard.

Phase 1: Power – 3 weeks

This phase will only last 3 weeks, because it’s so very intense. However, you will be doing all 5 of the above power moves in one gruelling session.

All exercises should be as heavy as possible but with perfect form, 5 sets of 5 repetitions on each of them. We want limit your ‘rest’ periods between sets to no more than a minute, this will be difficult at first, so begin with two minutes, then take 15 seconds less ‘rest’ between sets with each new training session. It’s gonna be tough. But it’s gonna be worth it.

Do the things that others wont today, so that you can do the things others can’t tomorrow.

The workout: 5 sets of 5 reps

Squats

Dead-lifts

Bench press

Bent-over barbell rows

Military press

Perform the workouts 3 times a week, preferably Monday, Wednesday and Friday, giving you 2 days to recover, plus you have the weekend off. After such brutal training week 2 days of rest will be required, get plenty of extra sleep.

Or if you can’t schedule it like that, then arrange the training pattern so that you can get 2 full days rest, but never perform the workouts on consecutive days, you will be overworking the muscles causing atrophy, ,also inviting injury and that is detrimental to our quest to god-like Asgardian strength.

“Come at me bro.”

Phase 2: Hypertrophy – 3 weeks

This section of the periodized program will be a 3-way body-part split, utilising only compound movements, (exercises where multiple joints move, therefore more muscle fibres recruited, and more hypertrophy), wherever possible. Once again try to schedule these workouts for Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and plan for a 2 day rest period during the week.

If possible always workout in the morning when testosterone levels are at their highest, it makes you primal. 4 set of 8 reps for all exercises involved. No exceptions. This is the perfect rep range due to the different muscle fibre types within skeletal muscle. Allow you friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor to blow your Asgardian brain with Earth science.

By Odin’s beard! What is this Earth ‘science’ you speak of?

There it is, the mighty Odin’s beard.Envy it.

Type I Fibres: Also called slow twitch fibres or oxidative fibres. They have the largest capillary count, many mitochondria, and heaps of myoglobin giving them a red colouration. These muscle fibres are geared toward endurance, very resistant to fatigue and able to contract continuously over an extended period of time and generating adenosine triphosphate by oxidative, (aerobic), metabolism. Therefore they are stimulated by high rep ranges, around 10 to 15 reps, even more reps, 15 to 25 for advanced endurance athletes.

Type II Fibres: They can be split into a further 2 categories.

Type IIb Fibres:We’ll cover IIb first, because type IIa are a relatively recent discovery. Also known as fast twitch or glycolytic fibres, type IIb have a lower myoglobin and capillary count giving them a white, (looks like chicken meat), colouration. This allows for high contraction velocity, gearing them toward anaerobic metabolism, making them effective for short yet more intense workouts. They are generally stimulated by a rep range of 1 – 6.

Type IIa Fibres: These are adaptive muscle fibres, strange as it sounds. They adapt to whichever type of work the other fibre types are doing. So when the fast twitch fibres are doing their thing, they start going glycolytic and when the slow twitch are doing their thing, they start going oxidative. They look pink due to the combination of oxidative and glycolytic capabilities. Most people don’t have many of these fibres; a shame given their properties.

Thus, 8 reps per set hits a nice mid-range, stimulating all fibre types, and any type IIa will adapt to both kinds of input.

Temporary X-ray vision for y’all.

Adenosine Triphosphate? Speak sense foolish mortal.

Adenosine triphosphate: (ATP from now on), is considered by biologists to be the ‘currency of life’. ATP, a nucleotide, powers cellular metabolism, and is present in the cytoplasm and nucleoplasm of every cell. The structure of ATP is an ordered compound of three phosphates, connected to each other by oxygens and sandwiched on either side by more oxygens.

These oxygens each have a negative charge, so their just itching to get away from each other. Because of this ATP is just bursting with energy, about 7.3 calories per mole, (30.6 kj/mol), and is a lot happier as a molecule when it has only two phosphate bonds.

Whenever we make any physical movement, an appropriate amount of these little guys, all little ticking time bombs of energy, are more than happy to shoot of one of the phosphate bonds and power up cellular metabolism. Sweet. However, once it has shot one of the bonds it becomes a redundant compound, adenosine diphosphate, (ADP), and goes into a little mood having no desire to create any more energy. Each gram of skeletal muscle has around 7 – 8 mol of ATP stored ready to go, then once it’s fired its load creatine phosphate comes to the rescue. Yay.

That’s what our dear ATP looks like.

Now you have been suitably scienced

Day 1: Pectoralis major, triceps, calves

Incline dumbbell bench press:Now we are fully hitting every muscle at every angle rather than building all-round power, thus adding slabs of mighty beef-cakery all over the show, this fine exercise targets the clavicular fibres of the pecs.Bench press: You should be very familiar with this one by now. Level up your strength beloved reader.

Skull crushers: A wondrous name for a wondrous technique that suits our hammer wielding subject perfectly. These will not only hit the triceps nicely, but are a ‘sports specific‘ movement for carrying out devastating hammer attacks upon those foolish enough to mess with Asgard.

It was difficult to find a decent instructional for this one, but fear not, beloved reader, after searching the strange realm you mortals call the internet, we have a marvel of your ‘Earth science’ to show you the ways of augmenting hammer based attacks. Preferably aimed at the skull. Then crushing said skull.Close-grip bench press: You have to be careful with hand positioning on this exercise, otherwise you’ll just be repeating unnecessarily the normal bench press again.

The focus of close-grip bench press is to blast the triceps into a hypertrophic frenzy, adding solid combat ready muscle with which to wield a hammer, or any bludgeon of your own choosing for that matter.

Standing calf raises: This will act as a kind of ‘cool down ‘after all that extremely heavy iron shifting. But if done properly you will have trouble walking temporarily.

Bent-over dumbbell rows: This initially seems like a move that will produce similar results to the above, but whilst it still works the latissimus dorsi, it also works: lower and mid-trapezius, rhomboids, teres major, teres minor, and infraspinatus. The supination, pronation or neutral grip positioning will change the targeted muscles quite dramatically.

Preacher hammer curls: Yes! That is the actual name of the excise, how cool is that, and it’s relevant to our program. Get hammering my Asgardian chums.Barbell curls: Finishing off the biceps in a brutal way, by the end of this hypertrophic phase you will be able to display a fine ‘gun show’.

Vertical bench leg raise: These will produce abs that you could be seen through a skiing jacket. As an added bonus the instructor is hot. Yay.

Day 3: Legs, shoulders, forearms

Squats: Monday on ‘warm-up’ week made you very aware of these quadricep builders of doom.

Walking Dumbbell Lunges: To truly promote hypertrophy in such a massive muscle group as quadriceps, we need at least 2 compound movements to make them powerful. This is another ‘sport specific’ exercise that will have you charging at alarming speeds toward your enemy upon the battlefield.

Stiff legged dead-lifts: This variation on the deadlift, (kinda like ‘diet dead-lifts’), will not only keep your body prepared for another power phase, (Yup, there’ll be another), but work the hamstrings in an isometric manner, not only causing muscular strength gains, but building a formidable lower body stability. Ice hockey players utilise this exercise to make their stance solid and steadfast upon the ice.

Arnold press: A great exercise for the anterior and lateral heads of the deltoids. They also add punching power for when you’ve thrown your hammer and are waiting for it to return to your hand to punish the enemies of Asgard.

Behind the neck press: The sibling exercise to military press, now you have these training techniques under your belt, you’ll have no problem lifting opponents over-head and hurling them to land in a crumpled and defeated heap of broken flesh and bone, whilst waiting for that pesky hammer you’re still waiting to return.

Dumbbell shrugs: These slight and mild mannered in appearance dumbbell shrugs are vital at this point, a lot of the exercises in this routine have only worked them synergistically, or worked only 1 or 2 parts of the 3 sectioned muscle. Shrugs target the meaty part at the top of the shoulders. Kinesiologically, they are working whenever you are bearing weight in your hands in order to support the shoulder girdle.

Forearm curls: All Asgardian warriors need a firm grip on their weapon of choice, (preferably hammer of course), and this exercise will round off your physique nicely. If you’ve got massive biceps and triceps but skinny forearms, a warrior you will not look like. There are 2 variations of this technique demonstrated below, pick whichever feels right to you.

I think that’s Thor’s way of saying “Don’t quit”.Or maybe he just wants to go ballistic bludgeon style.

So what’s next?

Simple. Repeat the power phase again, (but obviously without the extra ‘warmup’ week), you’ll notice a massive increase in strength. Then repeat the hypertrophy phase.

That’s the whole 12 weeks. By the end of it you will be buff and strong, and with the nice weather here in good old blighty, plenty of opportunity to get your top off and make others feel ashamed of their laziness.

If you get bored with the exercises and the exercise order, you can substitute them for others that work a similar group of muscles, and even re-arrange the 3-way hypertrophy split. For example, you could substitute seated cable rows for one arm dumbbell rows, preacher barbell curls instead of barbell curls, or even body-weight dips in place of skull crushers.

Unfortunately, due to our strict mistress kinesiology, the power phase is unchangeable. Sorry, beloved reader.

Diet

This is the complicated part. But without decent nutrition, the workouts will not be as effectual and you won’t recover properly from all your hard work. Diet is 80% of the battle.

Try to eat every 3 hours, to keep the metabolism boosted and a steady stream of nutrients coming in to help you recover from the workouts. It’s possible to get away with eating every 5 hours, but 3 hours between protein ‘fixes’ will give you optimum protein synthesis, thus yielding the fastest results.

I know this is tricky to do, and for those of us on a limited finances difficult to afford, but with a little imagination and efficient budgeting it can be done; your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor also suffers these conditions, but it is still attainable.

Get your protein from high quality sources: eggs, milk, fish, beef, chicken, and for those of us, like yours truly, with those horrifying afflictions known as employment, protein shakes and protein bars. There are some very reasonably priced protein supplements around for the convenience of maintaining good nitrogen balance. GNC and Holland and Barrett are constantly having guerilla warfare style sales wars, so keep checking them out.

This is the only diet plan on Level Up thus far that has fat restrictions in the diet. Get your sources of dietary fat from quality foods such a fish, nuts and seeds. No saturated fats. Also the little things help, use cooking spray when you fry food, use low fat spreads, fat-free milk etc.

Count the Macro-nutrients

It seems like a major hassle to begin with, but check the nutritional stats of every meal you eat. Eventually you’ll get so used to it, you’ll be able to approximate and / or guesstimate how much is in what food.

Protein: This is the chief nutrient for building strength and power. Protein’s crucial role in the body includes building, maintaining and repairing body tissue. It is especially important to physically active individuals whose muscle tissue is constantly in need of repair.

Protein has other roles in the body; all enzymes and hormones, which perform vital functions, are proteins. In addition, proteins are used to aid in the immune process. But the liver can only handle so much in one sitting. It is widely debated what the actual number of grams of protein it can effectively deal with; speculations range from 32 to 48 grams. For the purposes of maximizing muscle gains but limiting gluconeogenesis, (there will be plenty of glucose knocking around already), You should aim for hitting 40 grams of quality per meal and hopefully managing that at least five to six meals each day with a minimum of three hours between each protein fix.

Protein is made of amino acids. Ain’t it pretty.

Carbohydrates: Our main source of energy. They are chains of small, simple sugars that are broken down and enter the body as glucose. Glucose is essential for the body, as it is the preferred source of energy in our brain, heart and central nervous system. For this reason, we won’t be doing anything silly to maintain rippage like Atkins’ diet. Atkins’ had a reasonable idea, but neglected to mention that without glucose from carbs in your diet to metabolize fat, muscle tissue would be broken down and converted into sugar for that very purpose, defeating the object entirely. Aim for roughly the same amount of carbs as you do with protein. With the exception of doubling the carbs 1 hour before and one hour after a training session. The trick with carbs and getting buff is to keep the Glycemic Index low.

Fat: The misconception about fat is that it is always bad for you. In fact, fat is essential for maintaining a healthy body and is a vital metabolic precursor to various steroid hormones. The trick is to eat a moderate amount of the good fats and none of the bad fats. Saturated and trans fats must be avoided while increases levels essential fatty acids, such as omega 3 and omega 6.

Going out of the realms of macro-nutrients and into micro-nutrients briefly; fat plays a vital role in the digestion of vitamins A, D, E, and K, which are fat soluble, meaning they need fat in order to be absorbed into the body. So don’t completely remove all fats from your diet.

Supplements

Not essential, and also another budget concern. Your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor wouldn’t normal suggest spending your hard-earned / hard-embezzled cash on such things, but the following 2 supplements truly are the real deal, and will add great gains on the path to Asgardian glory.

Creatine phosphate: imaginatively named, eh? Remember ATP? Creatine phosphate, (CP), turns up and ‘lends’ ADP its one and only phosphate, restarting the whole cycle again. There is roughly 3.5 and 4 grams of CP stored per kilogram of skeletal muscle, but this is used up in a matter of seconds during intense physical exertion. By supplementing CP, you can get an extra few seconds of oomph when pounding the iron. It doesn’t sound like much on paper but it makes a massive difference to anaerobic metabolism. Supplemented CP must be cycled, however, as with everything the body produces itself, if it is coming in artificially it will cease its own production. EEK.

The optimum cycle of CP supplementation is 9 weeks on and 3 weeks off. Powdered form is the best absorbed into the skeletal muscles. Remember to look out for the health food store sales.

Glutamine: Basically, whenever your body needs to make a repair, glutamine is the prime amino acid it goes to for most chores. When any part of your body needs healing, say from a cut, recovery from a hangover, sleep deprivation, and especially hard training regimes; its glutamine that gets taken straight from the muscles, reducing strength, unless there is some spare via supplementation. Glutamine is almost essential, it will have you regenerating like Wolverine. Sweet.

He speaks truthfully. Vote, beloved reader, for the next designer Superhero workout.

That’s right, beloved reader, I want you to leave a comment on this post, email me or post on Level Up’s Facebook page, which designer Superhero workout you want to see next. Bring it on, y’all.

Remember that day in primary school, when the teacher would ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I bet some were predictable answers like; fireman, police man or astronaut.

Sure? But where are you going with this?

As you can see, the web-slinger’s physique is sleek, yet with some emphasis on quadriceps and lats.

But I bet you the majority of those kids answered either Spider man or Batman

If you haven’t already read the ‘Designer Superhero Workout Basics’, I would strongly advise that you do before proceeding. Spidey’s workout plan is probably the hardest to follow due to the unique combination of strength, flexibility and muscular endurance, he pretty much has all of all the components of fitness in high levels at his disposal. During the plan we will also be covering advanced fitness tactics; split body part training, interval training and super sets. Phew. This 12 week program depends on its 28 day cycles, meaning 14 workouts per cycle for most of the DSWs. If you want this plan to work, he you can’t miss a single one. Not one.

Phase 1: Foundation Strength – 4 weeks

Alas, beloved reader, Level Up being the impoverished company that it is, lacks its own recording studios, (how many posts have I had to put that in now? Think of all the posts your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor will have to go back and edit when Level Up does have recording equipment and that’s after producing videos for every conceivable exercise, and then some), for now just follow the handy links, along with some handy videos wisdom too.

Barbell front squats:Spidey has quite the robust quadriceps; front squats will get them nice and powerful for all the mighty leaps an athletic Spidey fan will be doing. Go as heavy as possible, whilst maintaining perfect form, for 4 sets of 8 repetitions.Incline cable bench press:Due to the web-slinging nature of our subject, we’ll be using as many cable based exercises as possible; cables are the closest thing we have to webbing to work with. As with all the exercises in this phase go as heavy as possible, 3 sets of 8 reps for this.

Pull ups:Spidey needs a lot of strength for all the wall-crawling business, plus these will get those lats flaring like Bruce Lee. You know, like the scene in ‘Way of the Dragon‘ when Bruce Lee is warming up ready to kick seven shades of s**t out of Chuck-not-as-hard-as-the-meme-says-Norris, and he does that flex where he looks like a freakin’ cobra flaring up to attack.

All apologies, beloved reader, but your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor can only teach you how to be strong enough to wall-crawl. Not how to stick to sheer surfaces.

Once you’ve done as many reps as possible, take a minute’s, (no longer than one), ‘rest’ and repeat for a total of 4 sets. If you can’t do pull ups yet work up to them with inverted rows, then progress to inverted rows with the feet elevated, then do them on a progressively higher bar until your there. Try adding resistance to each stage to speed up progress. If you can already manage pull ups, then you are among the elite few, but should try to add resistance anyway. Don’t be embarrassed to use the pull up assist machine or resistance bands to help either, that’s what their for..

How freakin’ cool is that!

Cable alternating curl:Keeping in theme with our web substitute exercises we work the biceps on the cable machine. Spidey would be using those biceps over and over again during his web-slinging shenanigans, and alternately as he swings from one web-line to the next above the crime filled streets of Brooklyn. As with most of the movements in the strength phase exercises go for 3 sets of 8 reps.

Behind the neck barbell press:Whilst these work all three heads of the deltoids, they put more focus on the lateral and posterior heads. Aim for 3 sets of 8 reps. If performed incorrectly this exercise can cause great injury, if you already have a recurring neck or shoulder injury, then substitute seated dumbbell shoulder press instead, not as productive for the Spidey effect, but a fairly sufficient compromise.

Triceps Dip:A tough exercise but an essential one, aim for as many reps as possible, and if you can add resistance to your own bodyweight you’ll be totally bad-ass. Try for as many reps as possible for 4 sets.

Any decent gym will have at least one of these gruesome contraptions. Loop the chain through a weight disc and wear it round your waist whilst dipping. Or purchase one for your home gym.

Vertical leg-hip raise:This killer move will give you abs of doom. Spidey’s legs are all over the show when he’s web-slinging, but what most non-kinesiologists rarely realise is that the leg muscles aren’t putting much of the work in; the abs do the heavy lifting and the flexibility facilitates the movement. Same sets and reps with these bad boys as you did with the dips.

Abdominal work and flexibility training will allow you to bust sweet moves like this.

One arm single leg calf raise: Kinesiologically speaking, calves must be the penultimate exercise. (forearm muscles are last for obvious reasons), as the gastrocnemius and soleus muscles support you during pretty much anything you do apart from sitting. This cheeky exercise replicates Spidey’s equally cheeky tactic of springing off a wall whilst attached to a web-line. Nice. Go heavy on these for 8 reps, change legs, repeat for 3 sets.

Cable one arm wrist curl: I don’t think you’re ever likely to find more cable exercises in any other workout, but they suit our purpose. A Spidey physique requires a strong grip and this will work the forearm flexor group of muscles, that ultimately produce grip strength. Forearms are extremely durable, so you should be able to go fairly heavy for 8 reps, swap hands, and repeat for 4 sets. After doing these you will have temporary loss of dexterity. Be prepared.

Grip-strength essential. No matter how cute you are.

After each workout it is essential that you stretch, not only will this give you improved flexibility and speed up recovery, but it will prevent unwanted injury and DOMS.

Perform all the exercises conscientiously. Take one minute ‘rest’ in between sets, but no longer; this will keep the ‘pump’, when that is happening more blood is flowing to the muscle in question and therefore more nutrients will reach it. Perform these workouts every other day, rest on the days in-between. Although, on some of your days off however, you’ll be doing some different training I’m afraid. But it will be so beneficial that I’m not even sorry.

Welcome to interval training

What gruelling skulduggery will you have us doing now?

Fear not beloved reader, it’s not as bad as it sounds

Interval training is a type of discontinuous exercise that involves a series of low to high-intensity periods interspersed with ‘relief ‘periods. The high-intensity periods are typically at or close to anaerobic exercise, while the recovery periods may involve either complete rest or activity of lower intensity.

See? This is how Spidey starts his day. Interval training. He off all people should take more care crossing the road though.

Thus, on your off days, go for a 30 minute walk, don’t bother doing this training on a treadmill, those blasted contraptions are the worst fitness equipment ever invented; you’re doing all that hard work and not even covering any ground, you should feel cheated by them. Plus there is only so much meat-headery, jock filled, sweaty gym visits that can be tolerated.

The weather is getting nicer so hit the park instead. Begin with 30 minute walks, then every 4th minute, sprint all-out as hard and fast as the Flash. A stopwatch will be helpful. Select 2 of your off days per week and gradually build up the length of the sprint time. For example, on the second session walk for 3.5 minutes, then sprint full-out for 90 seconds.

He then bursts into sprints at regular intervals. It all makes sense now.Although anyone else would have been mugged in Brooklyn by now.

Add 5 minutes to the total workout time each week until you reach 45 minutes, that’s the maximum length of time you can reap the benefits from this training. Max-out the intervals to 2 minutes walking, 3 minutes sprinting. Perform these training sessions first thing in the morning on an empty stomach and consume zero calories apart from water for 90 minutes after; this will produce the optimal fat burning effect for that sleek Spidey look. Keep these up for the entire 12 weeks. With all this hard work you must ensure that your rest days are complete rest days, and get the proper nutrition for optimum recovery. The faster you recover, the harder you can push yourself on the next workout.

If you choose to, you could easily replace regular interval training with Fartlek training.

Look at this cute Lego Spidey, and calm yourself. There is more work ahead.

Phase 2: Split body part routine – 4 weeks

Now you will be working different body-parts on each workout, this will add more focus om each muscle to reap the greatest rewards. The workouts still occur every other day without fail, and the interval training is still on 2 days per week. During this phase all sets and reps are 3 and 10 to 12 respectively, unless otherwise specified.

Day 1: quadriceps, latissimus dorsi, waist

Barbell front squats: Exactly the same as before. Leg and lat strength are the key essentials to the Spidey physique, so try to maintain the weight from before but push hard for the extra reps, adding one rep per week is impressive enough.

Dumbbell jump squats: Now we’re getting serious. Get the heaviest dumbbells you can manage with perfect form and leap as high as you can with them. Being sure it is a controlled and disciplined motion. As with all the exercises slowly and progressively increase the resistance. It’s simple science; the higher you can jump whilst encumbered, the even greater your leaps will be without the added baggage.

Want to jump to great heights? Dumbbell jumping squats are the king.

Pull ups: Same drill as before, but the following exercises will ensure you get veritable wings of muscle. If your progression has been meta-human then try these:

Cable twisting standing high row: The perfect movement to emulate ground to air take off web-slinging. Note how the reps are gradually increasing for muscular endurance, whilst the strength gained from the last 4 weeks is maintained. As an added bonus the obliques get a bit of a workout, warming up the waist for more brutality.

I rest my well-informed case.

Vertical hip-leg raise: Same as above, but hopefully, by now you should be totally owning them with abdominal rippage to make Vin Diesel cry.

Hyper-extension:As strong as you are making the front of your waist, you should not neglect the back. Take great care with these and do not add any resistance. Unfortunately few gyms have these wonderful lumbar empowering devices, so you may have to settle for the terribly named Superman exercise. That’s the third DC reprobate to infiltrate a Marvel hero’s post! The audacity! Slightly different on the reps with this one, aim for 3 sets of 15 reps.

One arm single leg calf raise: This time aim for 3 sets of 10 to 12. As if you didn’t know that already.

Day 2: pectoralis major, deltoids, arms

Incline cable bench press: Same as before, just more reps

Cable standing incline fly: Yet another cable exercise; this one hitting the clavicular fibres of pectoralis major. Your pecs will burn, but it’s a kinda nice feeling. The feeling you get when you know you’ve done a good job.

Behind the neck press: Same as before, attempting to maintaining the previous weight, whilst maintaining the same weight. Don’t worry if you can’t, adding reps is a cruel mistress.

Cable lateral raise: Your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor shouldn’t even need to explain the applications of such a cool looking exercise. This movement specifically targets the lateral head of the deltoids. I’m pretty sure you’ve sussed the sets and reps by now.

All that tough work on rear and lateral deltoids allows for web-slinging business like this. Yay.

Triceps dips: Same drill as phase 1, but you should be far more competent with them and hopefully adding resistance to the exercise.

Cable bent-over triceps extension:These are handy for mid-web-slinging, when letting go of one web-line and shooting more webbing, more than likely with some groovy acrobatics thrown in for good measure. Sets and reps are well-known to you by now beloved reader.

Cable one arm wrist curl: Reps do not increase in this phase, Stick with 15 reps for 3 sets.

Super sets

No really. They are actually called that. Become informed, beloved reader, on some of the painstaking tactics that athletes use to improve their performance and / or muscular gain, including yours truly. They sound harsh, are harsh, but will make an elite athlete out of you, in epic proportions.

Types of Super sets

There are many options available when it comes to super-setting. These are just few of them. Do not fear, beloved reader, we will not be utilising them all. Just most of them. EEK.

Pre-Exhaustion Supersets. This involves two exercises for the same muscle group. The first exercise is an isolation move, which targets one muscle group, and the second is a compound movement, which targets multiple muscles. Example: Leg extensions, which target the quads, followed by squats. The quads are tired, but the other muscles used in squats (glutes, hamstrings and inner thighs) are fresh, allowing greater exhaustion on the larger muscles.

Post-Exhaustion Supersets. This is the opposite of pre-exhaustion. You start with the compound movement and follow that with the isolation exercise.

Compound Superset: This is a tough way of training since you’re putting together two compound exercises, requiring more energy and strength. Remember, compound exercises are those that work several muscle groups at a time.

Isolation Supersets: In this type of training, combine two isolation exercises.

Opposing Muscle Groups: When you do two exercises that target opposing muscle groups, one muscle gets to rest while the opposite muscle works. You can pair back and chest, biceps and triceps, hamstrings and quadriceps, etc.

Staggered Supersets: In staggering, you do an exercise for a different muscle between sets. For example, during a straight set of chest presses, you could throw in a set of calf raises or crunches while you rest your chest muscles. This saves time, allowing you to work one muscle group while the other rests.

Tri-Sets: This is the same as a superset, except you’re doing three exercises rather than two.

Phase 3: Split body part routine with super sets – 4 weeks

The body part split is slightly different this phase, but due to the added intensity, and time-saving factor of moving directly from one exercise to the next, there will be a greater volume of work. This is the most challenging phase.

頑張って

Ganbatte

As always, that wonderful land of the rising sun takes Western shows and turns them into to something crazy.Also it has giant robots in it.

The weight you will be using this phase will be lower than the last two, but fear not, beloved reader, strength gains stay with you for a very long time and the continued work you are doing will easily maintain your hard-gained attributes. If you are so bad-ass you are still using the same weight or even increasing the resistance; I tip my proverbial hat of awe to thee. Unless exceptions are given, perform 3 sets of 15 reps.

Day 1: pectoralis major, latissimus dorsi, deltoids

Incline cable bench press: / Pull ups: You should be very familiar and adapt at these exercises by now. But it gets harder.

Cable incline fly: / Cable kneeling row: The new chest exercise will make you feel the burn, during theses three super sets, you’ll be basically owning the cable machine. Screw the gym-rats, they’re more than likely using it wrong anyway.

Cable standing fly: / Cable twisting high row: By this point your pecs an lats are shattered, This is a good thing, for they will recovery to become stronger and more durable.

Dumbbell shrugs: /One arm single leg calf raise: The first is detailed below in the handy vid, go light on these and aim for 25 reps, one of the few exceptions to the above rules emulating Spidey’s physique.

Day 2: quadriceps, arms, waist

Barbell front squats / Dumbbell jump squats: Herewe use one of the harshest super set techniques; the compound super set. You should be very familiar with both these knackering exercises, now you must perform them one straight after the other. Aim for 3 sets of 15 reps each. That’s the hardest part out-of-the-way.

Dumbbell side lunge: /Cable bent-over leg curl: This is also exhausting, but helps to strengthen those cool Spidey poses. We take advantage of the opposing muscle group super set. All exercises in this phase will be 3 sets of 15 reps, per side if applicable. Note that only in the final phase hamstring exercises have been added, they are the most difficult muscle to increase flexibility. But you should have been working on that after every training session.

Triceps dips / Cable alternating curl: Again we use the opposing muscle group super set, it’s clearly the most useful to enhance Spidey’s movements. Unlike before, these will be relegated to the 3 sets of 15 reps.

Cable forward triceps extension:/ Concentration curls across the body: Using opposing muscle group super sets yet again, (this tactic seems to be the most functional for Spidey’s movements). The first move is excellent or that initial web-shoot-and leap maneuver. The point of the second curling exercise isn’t just to facilitate the super set. The biceps have two separate ‘heads’, which both need work. This curling technique focuses on the outer head, which has only been synergistic in some exercises up to now.

Vertical leg hip raise: / Hyper extension or Superman /Cable twists: Here we take advantage of two super set tactics, tri-sets and opposing muscle group sets. With the hip raises nothing has changed, Just have at them furiously. The cable twists are for those awkward mid-air web-slinging hijinks when you need to make a quick U-turn. These work the obliques, adding to that sleek waist we want.

This is why we work the wrist extensors, it’s not easy doing the ‘Hail Satan’ to shoot webbing all day.

Diet

This is the section that most will despise in the series of customized workouts. During phase 1 try to get 40 g of quality protein and 60 g of quality carbs per meal. Phase 2 reduce protein to 35 g and maintain the 60 g of carbs. Phase 3, the toughest, keep the protein at 30 g but increase the carbs to 70 g. Simple. Aim for 4 to 5 meals per day, at least 3 hours apart from each other.

You have to really want it

This plan will only work if you stick with it. You really have to want it, but it is only 12 weeks out of your life to achieve heights of awesomeness that few have the drive to go for. It is very difficult and complex, in fact the most difficult and complex of all the designer Super hero workouts, that’s why I got it out-of-the-way first.

Dig deep for you discipline, it will be worth it. If it’s any consolation, the Spidey workout is very similar to your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor’s, except because I train at home I perform the free weight versions of the exercises and keep the protein in my diet as high as possible throughout for greater hypertrophy. Also sometimes I will extend phases if I am still getting significant results. It can be done.

Now it’s up to you what you want to continue doing with this. You can maintain the Spidey look by continuing phase 3 indefinitely. You could work through all three phases again to become even more powerful, even take gymnastics classes. Or maybe you’ve been barred from the gym for constantly hogging the cable stations.

You have now graduated the Spider man school of being a hero but never seeming to get the girl. See below.

So what’s next?

Simple. Repeat all the phases again, you’ll notice a massive increase in attributes trained in each period. That’s the whole 12 weeks. By the end of it you will be strong, durable and flexible.

Alternatively, just continue with the last phase for as long as you likeand if you get bored with the exercises and the exercise order, you can substitute them for others that work a similar group of muscles, and even re-arrange the 2-way hypertrophy split.

Greetings true believers

Reckon you know the names of all these Marvel characters?

This pre-post to the series of Super hero specific workouts, will outline the basics that need to be adhered to. These ‘rules’ aren’t steadfast and unbreakable, they are adaptable to individual needs and also sometimes ‘tweaked’ for each specific character’s physique requirements.

Unlike most of the workouts thus far on Level Up, you will need equipment for this training, and also isn’t advisable for a total beginner. If however, you have been working out, or following the Batman zero to hero fitness guide, then your body will be primed and ready.

OK DC comic fans, can you name all these characters?

The Plan

Each customized workout plan will be a 12 week intensive fast-tracked journey to bad-assery, separated into 4 week blocks, this is known as periodized training, (see the Hulk link above for more information),and covering, dependant on the hero in question, one or more of the components of fitness.

1. Cardiovascular Fitness: Cardiovascular fitness is the ability of the heart, lungs and vascular system to deliver oxygen-rich blood to working muscles during sustained physical activity.

2. Muscular Strength: Muscular strength is the amount of force a muscle or muscle group can exert against resistance.

3. Muscular Endurance: Muscular endurance is the ability of a muscle or muscle group to repeat a movement many times for an extended period of time.

4. Flexibility :Flexibility is the degree to which an individual muscle will lengthen, producing greater range of movement and thus, augmenting agility.

5. Body Composition: Body composition is the amount of fat in the body compared to the amount of lean mass, muscle, bones etc. this is the one we all want. Lean bodies with great attributes. Sweet.

Equipment

That is an impressive home multi-gym.Dear Santa . . . . .

Unfortunately you will be needing either a gym membership or some comprehensive home training equipment for these workouts. Sorry, beloved reader, but some heroes are just so very mighty this will be essential.

The gym: Be warned , beloved reader, these overpopulated establishments are full of morons, degenerates and cretins. Then you once you’ve avoided the instructors and so-called personal trainers, you have to deal with the people who go there to work out, a good percentage of which are meat-heads, roid-heads, jocks and gym-rats. They will attempt to impart their ‘wisdom’ upon you.

Heed not their ill-informed mewlings. The truth you require can be found right here at Level Up.

Hideous freaks such as this are a fine example of roid-heads. That is not the physique of a Super hero, that’s just to be avoided, evaded and never fed after midnight.

The home gym: Your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor prefers the home gym set up. It means you can have a nice paced workout and don’t have to wait for an equipment hog to get of the bench / cable / barbell etc. you need.

It’s also an investment, rather than paying extortionate gym fees indefinitely, you already have all the gear you need and it ill pay for itself in about a year.

Diet

All the training in the world wont get you anywhere if your stuffing your cake hole with, well, cake.

Try to eat every 3 hours, to keep the metabolism boosted and a steady stream of nutrients coming in to help you recover from the workouts. I know this is tricky to do, and for those of us on a limited finances difficult to afford, but with a little imagination and efficient budgeting it can be done, as our hero of ‘Don’t make me Ingrey, you wouldn’t like me when I’m Ingrey’ has demonstrated.

Get plenty of protein from high quality sources: eggs, milk, fish, beef, chicken, and for those of us, like yours truly, with those horrifying afflictions known as employment, protein shakes and protein bars.

That’s the kind of tasty business you wanna be munching to get results

If you go for the protein supplement options, be sure to get the ones with plenty of carbs in, you’ll need the energy, (If I catch any of you, no matter how beloved that reader may be, doing the vile Atkins diet, I will be forced to have stern words, all I have to say is “Shazam” and things get ghetto), they are extremely handy to sneakily get a quick protein fix if you work in a crappy job like mine where you don’t really get breaks. Thus your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor’s pockets are generally full of protein bars, and I have mastered the art of stealth eating. A skill to be reckoned with.

Protopure Recovery are generally the best value for money, and taste fairly good. Go for the chocolate cookie or chocolate, caramel and peanut flavours. Yum.

Get healthy fats in your diet too, from fish, nuts and seeds. Bingo. You already know the foods to avoid, so I hope I wont have to bore you with all that skullduggery.

The First Instalments

The first two workouts in the series will be Spider man, followed by Thor, this is due to the very different attributes they have, giving you, beloved reader, an insight into how unique each plan will be.

You don’t want to get involved in that.

For a little extra advice and inspiration before you begin your sojourn to a customized Super look, (just in time for the nice weather), check out ‘‘The Legend of You’.

Not many of my beloved readers bother hitting the handy links I work so hard to provide you with valuable information, however I implore you to check each one on this post as they have great relevance to the subject matter.

As requested by the infamous, nefarious and downright decadent Zsa-Zsa-La-Trine; your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor presents one of Marvel comic’s gems. He looks cool and has a cool power.

There he is in all his finery.Powers Unknown.

Taskmaster

To avoid any confusion, this is Taskmaster.Powers known.

The Taskmaster, (created by David Michelinie and George Pérez), is more often than not primarily portrayed as a villain rather than the anti-hero he really is. Real name speculated to be Tony Masters, is a mysterious figure believed to have been born in Brooklyn, New York City, and once went by the alias Contingency T.

He made his first appearance in Avengers vol.1 #195, (May 1980),before making his full début in Avengers vol.1 #196 in which he was introduced as an enemy, and gave them a pretty hard time. Although the Avenger’s line-up, with the exception of Iron man, was fairly lame at the time.

Because of his notoriety he usually finds employment within criminal organizations as a training instructor. However, in Taskmaster vol.2 #3 (2011), it was revealed he was a sleeper agent for S.H.I.E.L.D. planted by Nick Fury for the purpose of intelligence gathering. During this time though, Taskmaster had trained quite the contingent of super hero imposters meant to discredit the real thing; Blood Spider the criminal version of Spider-Man, Jagged Bow and Death-shield were trained to be replacing Hawkeye and Captain America.

So what’s this groovy power you mentioned?

Checking out all his bad-ass equipment may give you a clue.

Photographic reflexes

Photographic reflexes is the ability to essentially copy any skill, talent or ability you see. Anything that you see, even video footage will be sufficient. As long as he spends enough time observing another’s physical movements, no matter how complex, he can then go straight ahead and duplicate them without even needing to practice. Sweet. The drawback to this groovy power is that the new knowledge he gained from each observation will replace his previous non-skill related memories.

Due to these powers he can almost imitate super powers. For example he has discovered that watching Martial arts movies on fast-forward he is able to briefly duplicate the moves at a greatly increased velocity, effectively giving him a limited form of super-speed.

He was previously a naturally gifted athlete who trained himself to superb physical condition. He committed the fighting styles of:

As well as fully utilising his ability to copy the fighting techniques of others, he had mastered hundreds of forms of unarmed combat, both ancient and modern, and had created some of his own original techniques as well. As if that wasn’t enough he is skilled in the use of all conventional weaponry, an unerring marksman, master of swordsmanship, gymnastics with aerial acrobatic capabilities and adept at sleight of hand. This is not an individual you would ever want to get in a ruck with.

He has often shown the ability to actually predict an opponents next move before they make it if he has studied their fighting style enough. Opponents who are skilled at improvisational fighting styles, or who have a more random unpredictable style are less likely to have their moves predicted by Taskmaster. He is a master strategist and tactician, which he has used to great effect against Captain America and Iron Man during the siege of Asgard.

In addition to his already formidable abilities, he went about training his body to be in peak physical condition and engaged in intensive regular exercise. His strength, endurance, stamina, reflexes, and agility are on the level of an Olympic athlete. That means he can lift 440 lbs / 199.6 kg, that’s close to half a ton. Due to the intensity of his training he was nearly the physical equal of Captain America, and that’s without all the super soldier steroids.

He then went about recruiting a top team of scientists to recreate duplicate version of the weapons used by super-humans, which after having studied their skills, could utilise them with just as deadly efficiency as their respective original wielders. Among such combat based finery was a copy of the Black Knight’s sword, Daredevil’s multi-purpose billy club, Hawkeye’s trick arrows and bow, a .45 calibre Colt automatic similar to the Punisher’s, and a shield designed like Captain America’s but it was not forged from Adamantium, therefore wasn’t indestructible; it was made from an Osmium alloy, the same alloy that the X-Men’s Colossus‘ flesh morphs into.

That’s kick-ass guy with kick-ass gear. Take note y’all.

Taskmaster has come to blows and also teamed up with Deadpool a number of times; the two became friends when Taskmaster started dating Sandi Brandenburg, Deadpool’s Personal Assistant when both were employed by Agency X at the same time.

Two of the baddest mofos in one scene. Nice.

Taskmasters work with Deadpool, and thus observing and learning from him, led to a considerable change in appearance; he designed a costume that could efficiently accommodate all his spectacular new gear and was modelled on tactical battle armour. He ceased to encumber himself with the arsenal of duplicate weapons. His primary arms became a pair of semi-automatic handguns and a Katana, which he wielded with deadly grace after having observed the Silver Samurai’s fighting style. But by far his most efficient piece of gear is a prototype wrist-mounted device, stolen from S.H,E.I.L.D., that can spontaneously generate solid energy shapes. It can even be used to duplicate Captain America’s shield and Spider-Man’s webbing. Nice.

Deadpool should feel very flattered.

Weaknesses

The Taskmaster was not capable of duplicating a physical feat if the effort to do so requires a superhuman effort. For instance, he could never fly, have X-ray vision or any abilities outside the parameters that a human could attain.

His abilities were also limited in that they did not grant him an innate understanding of underlying disciplines. For example, as a child, he nearly drowned after imitating a dive because while he was able to mimic the dive, he did not know how to swim. Because of this, he has a fear of drowning.

Taskmaster was unable to copy the moves of Alex Hayden ,(Agent X), for unknown reasons

When Taskmaster copies something new, it pushes old memories out of his brain in a form of amnesia.

Many happy returns, last son of Krypton, but take it easy blowing out the candles on your cake, eh.

The story of Superman is the story of Truth, Justice, and The American Way. He is a symbol of hope and . He will always be an American Icon.

Sometimes people think of Superman as a god or an angel, in some cases this is not far from the truth. Superman’s birth name Kal-El is similar to Hebrew meaning ‘Vessel of God’. The suffix ‘el meaning ‘God’ is shared with a few angels such as Gabriel and Uriel.

Makes sense really, the 2 gentlemen are responsible for his fictional existence are Jewish after all.

This is the kind of amazing art work you can expect from the mighty Jim Lee. who had already won over my larcenous heart when he did the art for the X-Men in the 90’s.

Never mind Kal-El‘s ice breath inconveniencing a bunch of party free-loaders and Hebrew trivia. What’s he been doing for 75 freakin’ years?

Superman unchained issue 2. Pleasing to the eye is an understatement.

Superman has been protecting Metropolis for 75 years now and he is celebrating his birthday with a new title by DC Comics; Superman Unchained

Warning: plot spoiler!

When 13 satellites fall from the sky in one day, the logical suspect is Lex Luthor, never mind the fact that the bald genius is firmly behind bars. The last satellite targeted to fall was stopped, avoiding catastrophe. Thus, if Superman didn’t stop the last satellite from falling, then who did?

Who else but the caped Kryptonian has the power to thwart such disaster? My initial guess would be Batman. He is the man after all.

Sorry Kal-El, it’s your birthday, therefore it’s your show. There’s more than just the usual hyperbolic action you’d expect. A decades old mystery haunts Superman every step of the way.

Your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor strongly recommends that you don’t miss the debut of the newest Superman shenanigans, brought to you by 2 of the comic industries rock stars Scott Snyder and the invincible Jim Lee.

The first issue will also includes a bonus two-sided, tipped-in poster measuring that is part of the reading experience and can be easily removed for display! Bonus.

For those of you who missed out on free comic book day at Forbidden Planet, I managed to get this gem. Just thought I’d gloat about that.

Superman’s success is partly owed to his unique origin story as an infant from the planet Krypton too many light years away to count.

The S symbol emblazoned upon Superman’s chest had only meant Superman, like the way a primary school student writes their name on their stuff. As both character and storylines developed, it became the Kryptonian symbol for Hope and according to the Kryptonian alphabet it can also simply mean the letter ‘s’. Upside down the symbol takes on the new meaning of Resurrection.

Resurrection apparently.

Real Kryptonian name Kal-El, was just a baby when his planet was dying, and in a selfless act of parenting was sent to Earth. He landed in Kansas on a farm in Smallville.

He was discovered by Jonathan and Martha Kent, and after a display of freakish strength involving their automobile, decided to raise him as their own child, rather than more realistically running for their very lives away from a supers strong toddler from outer space. Adopted by the Kents he also took their name as his own to integrate into this new strange society.

Action Comics No. 1, published on April 18, 1938, marked Superman’s comic book debut. He’s been hefting cars aloft since a very young age. Mayhaps counselling is required.

Superman may be surrounded by Batman, (who I must point out has decked Superman twice and saved his life 8 times. They are on first name terms), Spider Man, the incredible Hulk’ Thor etc. but back then he was one of a kind, the world’s first ever Superhero, thus making him the template for all our beloved super powered characters we have today.

Siegel and Shuster originally created a bald telepathic villain named The Superman, hell bent on world domination. The character warranted an appearance in The Reign of the Super-Man in Siegel’s fanzine Science Fiction issue 3 in 1933. This evil version of our birthday boy did not impress the masses.

Wondering where he had gone wrong, he revamped the character over and over until in 1934 he had an epiphany, and we have our Superman. Yay.

Siegel and Shuster then began a 6-year mission to find a publisher. Titling it The Superman, they presented it to Consolidated Book Publishing. Although the duo received an encouraging letter, Consolidated never again published comic books. Shuster took this to heart and had his own private book burning party, during his tantrum. The character survives today only because Siegel managed rescued the cover from the fire.

Superman has changed a little over the past 75 years, but without Siegel frying his hand to retrieve the last scrap of Kal-El’s existence he wouldn’t be here today.

As part of the deal which saw Superman published in Action Comics, Siegel and Shuster sold the rights to the company in return for $130 and a contract to supply the publisher with material.

The readers of Action comics were so enamoured with the Kryptonian do-gooder, that DC had little choice but to grant him his very own comic. And about freakin’ time. Initially Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster wrote the story and produced the art for all the strips published.

However, Shuster’s eyesight began to deteriorate, corrupting his usually excellent work. Shuster then established a studio to with a full complement of staff to assist in the production of the art, although Joe Shuster insisted on drawing Superman’s face in every issue the studio produced. In 1945, Superboy made his debut in More Fun Comics 101. The character moved to Adventure Comics in 1946, and then finally his own title, Superboy, was launched in 1949.

The 1950s the extra characters we know and adore began to show their illustrated faces Jimmy Olsen (1954) and Lois Lane (1958). The comics popularity was such that in 1948 Kirk Alyn played Superman in a show series that lasted for only 15 episodes and was screened exclusively in movie theatres.

There was a movie sequel in 1950 called Atom Man Vs Superman

On screen Superhero entertainment has come a long way since the 50’s.

In June 1951, George Reeves was offered the lead role in The Adventures of Superman TV series. At first reeves was reluctant to take the role, he felt that theatre was more important, and like many actors of the era, that this new fangled TV gadgetry was a fad, and not enough people wouldn’t see his work.

Eventually he was convinced and / or conned into it and donned the iconic cape and briefs from 1952 to 1958.

Reeves’ first role as Superman was the movie / pilot episode Superman and the Mole Men, was intended to screen as a B-movie. Immediately after completing it, Reeves and the crew began production of the first season’s episodes, all shot over 13 weeks in the summer of 1951.

He was given low pay and only during production time. Each 30 minute episode was produced to a tight schedule, the bosses wanted it churned out cheap and fast. They made a minimum of 2 shows within 6 days, multiple scripts would be filmed at the same time, taking advantage of the standing sets, so that all the scenes for set in one particular location; Such as Perry White’s office would be filmed for 3 or 4 episodes consecutively. The continuity personnel had the hardest job making the shows.

A fine example of mightiness. F**k doors when you can just walk through walls like you were in a traditional Japanese house.

The entire filming of the first season’s episodes took only 13 weeks to produce. Reeves was surprised at his doubts about playing Superman on TV, he was becoming a national celebrity and in 1957 ABC Network purchased the show, giving him greater exposure and more fame.

As his popularity grew, he was offered appearances on radio and TV to be interviewed, these extra earrings meant he could live comfortably, rather than slumming it on the pathetic wage he got from filming Superman.

His affection for his fans was genuine, an he would always take time to chat and sign autographs for fans, he took the mantle of Superman seriously, molding himself into a role model became very important to him. After 2 seasons, Reeves was dissatisfied with the awful working conditions and the atrociously low salary.

He had just turned 40 years old and wished to quit and move on with his career. The producers looked elsewhere for a new star, contacting Kirk Alyn, he turned them down. No decent actor wants to work in such poor conditions and be paid a pittance.

“It’s a Bird…It’s a Plane…It’s Superman”

Original Broadway Cast Recording promotional poster.

March 29th 1966 Broadway saw Superman on stage in the Alvin theatre. The plot revolved around Superman’s efforts to defeat Dr. Abner Sedgwick, a ten-time Nobel Prize-losing scientist who sought vengeance on the scientific world’s dismissal of his brilliance by attempting to destroy the world’s symbol of good.

Additionally, Superman comes into romantic conflict with Max Mencken, a columnist for the Daily Planet newspaper, who resents Lois Lane’s attraction to Superman. The title of the theatrical rendition is where the iconic catchphrase was born.

TV special, and yes, beloved reader, it was awful

There have been a lot less emo looking Superman actors.

“It’s a Bird…It’s a Plane…It’s Superman” was insulted by an abysmal straight to TV adaptation on February 1975. The show was significantly shortened and the script was changed to dire and predictable dialogue. The sound of the musical score was mutilated in an attempt to appeal to the 1970’s sensibility.

Broadcast on the ABC network under its Wide World of Entertainment late-night slot, ( i.e late night bored unemployed people’s entertainment), it received poor critical reception.

It starred David Wilson as Superman/Clark Kent, Lesley Ann Warren as Lois Lane, Loretta Swit as Sydney Carlton, David Wayne as Dr. Abner Sedgwick, Allen Ludden as Perry White, and Kenneth Mars as Max Mencken. Don’t see much of those actors any more, eh.

The Death of a Superman

Please note, this is not an actual crime scene photo.

The Los Angeles Police Department filed a report, between approximately 1:30 and 2:00 a.m. on June 16, 1959, George Reeves had died of a gunshot wound to the head his home in Benedict Canyon. Present in the house at the time were Leonore Lemmon, (his fiancee), William Bliss,writer Richard Condon, and Carol Van Ronkel. Police arrived within the hour.

There has been much speculation as to whether or not it was suicide. Many of George Reeves family, friends and fans refused to believe he would kill himself and have pointed out that no gunpowder from the weapon’s discharge was discovered on Reeves’ corpse; indicating that the gun would have been pointed at least several inches away from his face.

However, the gun was too thickly coated in oil to hold fingerprints, making circumstances even more suspicious and gunshot-residue testing was not commonly performed by the Los Angeles Police Department in 1959.

Christopher Reeve, the most recognisable Superman. R.I.P

Reeves wasn’t a Superman fan, nor was he into comics, though he had watched Adventures of Superman starring George Reeves; so he knew to a fair extent what the character was all about. Being an actor that liked a challenging role though, Reeve thought the role with it’s dual identities offered a suitable challenge.

“there must be some difference stylistically between Clark and Superman. Otherwise, you just have a pair of glasses standing in for a character.” Christopher Reeve.

Budding actors, take note. Now.

When Reeve took on the task of becoming the Man of Steel, he really rose to the challenge. He was already a well-rounded athlete in various sports, although they were mostly cardiovascular fitness orientated. Thus, he was lean but not Kryptonian buff.

He refused to wear fake muscles under the suit, he would not resort to such meagre measures, so he sought advice and supervised training from former British weightlifting champion David Prowse, who is the colossal gentleman who donned Darth Vader’s duds on the set of the Star Wars films.

Weightlifting champ. Made Superman buff and he is Vader. Not a man to be messed with.

Needless to say, the workouts were intense and productive, resulting in an added thirty pounds, (14 kg), of muscle to his thin 189 pound, (86 kg), frame. A lot of the footage seen in Superman 2 used the exact same film set as the first film, Superman II was filmed at the same time as the first film.

He pumped up even more for Superman III (1983), though for some ill-informed reason in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) his focus was on the cardiovascular fitness, losing much of the iconic Superman muscular look.

The Actual death of Superman

Doomsaday is not to be f**ked with as Superman finds out the hard way.

In 1992 DC released The Death of Superman crossing over all of DC Comics’ 4 Superman titles. An unstoppable killing machine called Doomsday. Of course this results in hyperbolic fisticuffs that are off the scale. Any scale. At the fight’s conclusion, Superman defeats Doomsday, but then slowly dies in the arms of Lois Lane from his own injuries. That’s right beloved reader, Doomsday is one of the very few that can harm the last son of Krypton. Fear him.

The funeral that followed was attended by many of Superman’s fellow heroes and friends, including most of the Justice League of America, and a a mausoleum was built in Metropolis in honor of the Man of Steel.

During this time, every hero in the DC Universe, (even Guy Gardner and Green Arrow, neither of whom had ever personally gotten along with him), sported a black arm band featuring the S-Shield logo, out of respect. Superman’s body was stolen from his mausoleum, which had been ironically provided by his longtime foe Lex Luthor, by Project Cadmus .

It was hypothesized that they were attempting to clone him. The body was recovered by Lois Lane and clone him. The story was also collected into trade paperback titled World Without Superman.

Reign of the Supermen

The characters are largely arrogant twats but the action figures are groovy.

After a 3 month pause on all the Superman titles, they were relaunched. Four new ‘heroes’ crawled out of the wood works in attempt to take Superman’s place, one in each title, all of them staking a claim to be Superman. Each of the ‘Supermen’ were designed with ideas taken from some of the monikers that Superman is often associated with. The four new heroes were:

The Man of Steel: John Henry Irons was an ironworker and an ex-weapons designer for the military who wears a suit of armor and wields a hammer. Of the four, he is the only one who did not claim the name of Superman. Instead he vowed to carry on the spirit of Superman and continued his legacy. He later changed his name to simply Steel. How very 80’s.

The Man of Tomorrow: also called the Cyborg Superman, arrived with augmented Kryptonian technology. He was scientifically ‘proven’ to be Superman, but claims amnesia in explanation to his part-mechanical nature. It transpired that he was a former NASA astronaut Hank Henshaw. Later he became a major supervillain.

The Metropolis Kid: Who hated being called Superboy, (teenagers and their hormones, eh), is a reckless teenage clone of Superman. Of the three ‘Supermen’ with super powers, he was the only one that did not claim to be the real one. He is the result of the brief time Project Cadmus attempted to clone Superman.

The Last Son of Krypton: Was a visored, energy-powered alien who dealt with criminals lethally. The Last Son of Krypton appeared in Action Comics. He claims to have the memories of the original Superman, but his emotional distance makes Lois uncertain. He later was discovered to be the original Superman, a reformed Superman enemy.

Superman Returns

Brandon Routh as Superman.

In 2006 the long anticipated Superman Returns hit the cinema; screen directed and produced by Bryan Singer. Following on from of Superman 1 and 2, but thankfully ignoring the events 3 and 4. It tells the story of Superman returning to Earth after a 5 years.

He finds that Lois Lane has moved on with her life, what did he expect? He didn’t even write, not even a post card. Lex Luthor is still at a midway-point-destroy-the-world-plan, (just for a change), intent to start with the US-of A. It’s a hobby I suppose. The movie was a flop. Nuff said.

Man of Steel

Looking good thus far, eh?

Cinemas on Friday 14th June 2013 will be screening Man of Steel in the UK. Produced by Christopher Nolan, (who did an awesome job with the latest Batman movies), directed by Zack Snyder and scripted by David S. Goyer, this film should be incredible.

Starring Henry Cavill in the title role, it reboots the Superman franchise, telling the tale of Kal-El’s origins. with Amy Adams as Lois Lane, Michael Shannon as General Zod, Diane Lane as Martha Kent, Kevin Costner as Jonathan Kent, Laurence Fishburne as Perry White and Russell Crowe as Jor-El. An all-star cast, there is no reason for this movie to suck, and hopefully leading to DC hitting back at Marvel eventually with a Justice League movie.

The Superman Curse refers to a superstition, (unfortunate sequence of coincidences), based on a series of accidents, maimings and deaths involved in adaptations of Superman. Particularly ‘cursed’ are the actors who have actually played the role of our hero in nice red briefs.

This so-called ‘curse’ began with George Reeves, who died of a gunshot wound at age 45 under suspicious circumstances; and Christopher Reeves became paralyzed in a 1995 horseback riding accident, and died nine years later at age 52. That event actually made your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor cry.

More actors have been ‘slag-tagged’ with the alleged ‘curse’

Margot Kidder: who played Lois Lane in the Christopher Reeves movies, endured bipolar disorder. She was discovered by police in a paranoid and delusional state in April 1996.

Richard Pryor: The talented comedian, who had previously suffered illegal drug addiction, which led to a near fatal suicide attempt. 3 years later, he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. He died of cardiac arrest on December 10, 2005 at the age of 65.

Bud Collyer, Lee Quigley, Kirk Alyn, and Reeves widow Dana Reeve are also considered to have been affected by this ‘curse’.

That’s an upsetting Way to end this, up-until-now rather relevant Kryptonian essay. Why Rogue Advisor? Why sadden your ‘beloved reader’ in such a manner

There are many very cool Superman animated movies and series out there. The best ones of course being when he teams up with Batman.Who is way cooler.Sorry Kal-El, birthday or not, facts are facts.

Superman Animation

We’ve already covered Superman Doomsday, but there are many more: His team ups with Batman, (That’s a story for another post), His role in the Justice League animated series, and good selection of stand alone movies. See below for hyperbolic satisfaction, from the well plotted Superman Vs the Elite.

I’ll leave you with the inspirational words of indisputable wisdom from the late great Christopher reeves.

Want to be closer to having the physique and attributes of your favourite fictional characters? Soon, beloved reader will be a new series of awesome training articles for the truly hard-core among you. Be warned, your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor has given you an easy time thus far.

But requests have been flooding in for tougher regimes, that’s not too say that there will be an end to the other articles though. We’re already well underway to creating a Hulk, and there is already a Batman zero to hero workout plan that is gradually becoming more advanced post by post. We’ve even touched on the flexibility of Spiderman, whom will be the first of our new range of truly brutal training regimes.

For these extremely harsh workouts, (it takes a lot to emulate a superhero), you will unfortunately require a membership to a well equipped gym, or have your own comprehensive home gym set up for most of the exercises.

Be sure to post, comment or e-mail the superhero physique you would like to attain, and your friendly neighbourhood rogue Advisor will send you on the right path.

This thing is awesome. Sorry, beloved reader, you were probably expecting something enlightening, instructional or just entertaining. But I took a moment from such skullduggery to introduce you to this, and the chance to win a groovy prize. Yay.

It does what it says on the tin. You make heroes with it. Made some groovy characters myself, totally losing an evening by doing so, but it made me feel somewhat vindicated. Sweet.

Follow the handy link above and send Level Up your own characters, any kind you like; hero, villain, fantasy, Sci-Fi or even a normal dullard, use your imagination.

Include the character’s name, list of powers / abilities, stats and origin, how they got , a couple of sentences will suffice. It’ll be like our own kinda Top Trumps.

“He’s no good to me dead.”

The best character entry will win this groovy prize! Double Yay.Yes. I know, beloved reader, it is quite the humble prize. However Level Up is still an impoverished company.

Behold my own creations!

Devil 6

She is as nasty as she looks. Fear her.

Powers / Abilities: Psychoportation is her greatest power, but it exhausts her each time she employs the gift. Her voice can emit a fear induced paralysis, she can also see in all spectrums of vision. Her tail is prehensile and a direct strike will also cause paralysis. The wings allow only for gliding.

Skills: Extremely handy with chains, wielding them dual weapon style. She is fantastic in the sack.

Origin: Real name Helena Drake, she wanted to become a famous actress, but ended up doing porn. She was selected for her promiscuity and captured by he Vatican, to be experimented upon. The Vatican’s plan was to create a bunch of devils to prove that hell existed, and thus prove heaven existed to try to get one over on all the atheists.

She was the sixth such victim of catholic barbarism, but they didn’t realise she had developed the ability to teleport at will. After her escape she vowed to destroy the Vatican. Join the club luv.

Lou

Does he look like he gives a flying f**k? Because there are zero f**ks given here.

Powers / Abilities: Vince has only one power, he can steal knowledge from others brains by taking some of their grey matter and implanting it in his own barnet. This can work out for the worst; he can sometimes take on characteristics of his victims for a limited period, sending him a wee bit loopy . But that doesn’t bother him one bit, he’s fairly deranged anyway.

His armour is tougher than Captain America’s shield and Wolverine’s adamantium skeleton combined, and is full of useful gadgets like adrenaline boosters. His right hand is a force field generator that works kinda like the Green Lantern’s ring, but the colour yellow is not his nemesis.

Skills: Brawling, he loves it. It’s his favourite hobby and he is really good at it. I mean really good at it. Also he has a lot of big freakin’ guns. Nuff said.

Origin: Born to the Fisk criminal family, it was obvious to his father that he was a deformity. Born with his brain completely exposed, no nose and no right hand.

The crime lord set about finding all treatments possible in an attempt to make him ‘normal’. Little did Don Fisk realise that Lou had already started using his powers from the age of 11, and was secretly augmenting himself cybernetically.

Last, but surely not least; your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor

Powers / abilities: Little is known about the nefarious and elusive Rogue Advisor. He is somewhat like a cross between Batman and Iron man. All his attributes are the best a human may ever attain. He is a genius able to create powerful items that make Starktech look like Fisher Price crap. His cowl makes him immune to all mind affecting powers, and perfect infravision, and gives him an early warning system ‘spidey sense’.

The rest of his cladding is bullet proof, stab proof, fire-proof and stronger than adamantium, yet supple as leather. He his boots allow him to walk anywhere, despite the surface tension. He has been mistaken for Jesus whilst walking on water, and also misidentified as Spiderman whilst walking up the side of Big Ben.

Skills: He is a master of Martial arts from across the world, an acrobat and skilled in espionage. He can move in complete silence if he wishes. There is no lock he cannot pick and no trap or alarm he cannot disarm. He leaves no trace nor evidence of his movements.

Now it’s your turn, beloved reader

Create any type of character you wish with Hero Machine 2.5, then e-mail them to your friendly neighbourhood Rogue Advisor. Competition ends 21st April. The best entry will be blogged for all to admire.