Awful visuals, bugs, and a complete disregard for modern gamers make this a chore to play.

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Recently I watched The Pagemaster, a movie from the 1990s that I hadn't seen since I was 12 years old. It starred Macaulay Culkin, who was then riding on a wave of publicity following his success as Kevin McCallister in Home Alone. As a kid, I loved The Pagemaster, watching it in those spare time moments between playing Command & Conquer and trying in vain to be the next Jurgen Klinsmann. Unfortunately, as is usually the case when revisiting something from your youth: The Pagemaster is not as good as I remembered it.

Game details

So too is Dino Dini's Kick Off Revival, a modern version of a classic top-down football game that's built for speed and tactics over the flashy visuals of something like FIFA. Or at least, that's what they (developer Dino Dini) want you to think. In a very real sense, Kick Off Revival is even harder to swallow than a modern viewing of The Pagemaster, developed as it has been without any concessions at all to the modern gaming audience. Hugely questionable visual tweaks and glitches aside, Kick Off Revival plays almost exactly like the original 1989 Amiga and Atari Kick Off game.

Dino Dini's staunch dedication to recreating Kick Off's original play style can be either be seen as an act of supreme naivety, or one of narcissism as he makes an ill-fated attempt to suggest that his 27-year-old design has a place amongst modern football offerings. Both could well be true.

Most iconic of Kick Off's features is the fact that players don't automatically take possession of the ball when dribbling, meaning turns and twists past opponents are all but impossible. What you're essentially doing is using your players to bounce the ball towards the goal and hoping teammates are ready in front of you, and at the correct angle, to take it from you when you need to change direction. Imagine a game of Subbuteo played in real-time.

While this does force you to focus on teamwork above all else, it's impossible to implement grand passing plays due to the inconsistent positioning of your allies. Sometimes strikers will be hovering around the halfway line, other times they'll be stuck out wide, or hovering so close to the opposition goalkeeper that he snatches the ball from them whenever they try to get involved. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if you were able to simply turn with the ball at your feet, but you can't. It's almost like Dino Dini is seeking to recreate the England of Roy Hodgson: no individual class, and no idea what a formation is.

Things fall further into farce thanks to slide tackles that seem to be taken straight out of the UFC and a complete lack of yellow and red cards. This combination leads to the kind of physical contests that would make even Roy Keane wince. Yes, you can still concede free kicks and penalties, but they're so difficult to score that it's worth the risk. In one game played online against a random opponent I gave away four penalties but only one goal. You do the math.

There's an argument to be made that this a game that will reveal its true glory over time. The fact that, for example, you can't dribble as you can in PES or FIFA means that the best players will combine the few simple mechanics on offer in creative, emergent ways. This is a very traditional way of thinking about game design that harks back to the days when the player was expected to fight the game, rather than actually play it.

While Dini might turn his nose up at the concept of modern football games allowing players to take advantage of a ball that sticks to a player's feet and using skill moves to beat a defender, it's exactly these concepts that means fans can get lost in the digital fantasy of taking control of a football team. PES and FIFA might give players a lot of help, but at least they do their job of triggering a suspension of disbelief that allowsyou to feel as though you are Ronaldo, Messi, or whoever.

Even if you like Kick Off Revival's mechanics, they're almost entirely lost amongst a sea of bugs, glitches, and terrible visuals that don't even look good from a nostalgic point of view. There's so much missing from the game—offsides, competent goalies, and sense of an actual AI—that Kick Off Revival is barely a football game at all. It borrows the idea of putting a ball into a net, but none of the techniques and approaches of the sport actually work.

Further Reading

That said, there may be some appeal for masochists seeking their next project to master. The minimalist nature of the game means that there is some satisfaction to be gained from scoring goals and convincingly beating others. Because you can't rely on the mechanics of modern football games, it's rare to score a goal through luck and, therefore, every minor achievement feels grander than it otherwise might.

Ultimately, however, it's that dedication to appealing to such a tiny audience that is Revival's undoing. As the most dedicated players get better and better there becomes little point in them playing anyone else other than those at their own skill level. If you can find yourself a regular group within which to test and hone your skills, then perhaps there is some value putting the time in to gain control over this most unpredictable of games. As a wider football offering, though, it falls flat on its face.

Just as the England team of today seem to be relying on the same tactics used to win the 1966 World Cup, Kick Off Revival relies on the same core it did in 1990. For most, it's better to let nostalgia remain nostalgia and leave this mess of a football game alone.

The good

Tackling is, for a limited time, entertaining in its brutality

The bad

Overconfident expectation that 27 year-old gameplay concepts will work today without significant changes

Visual style is without identity, lacking either modern polish or retro charm

No tutorial or help for players new to the series

Numerous bugs and glitches

The ugly

The buildings that tower over the stadium are, genuinely, a sight to behold. Imagine Lego bricks wearing the worst football jerseys you've ever seen.

Verdict

There's a time and a place for nostalgia, and Kick Off Revival is not it. Avoid.

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John Robertson
Based out of London, England, John is a freelance writer specialising in video games and popular culture. When not locked in front of a computer he's glued to the viewfinder of his camera. Canon only. Twitter@robertson_john