Living With Rheumatoid Arthritis

A strong support system is an important
tool for dealing with the emotional and physical toll of any health condition,
especially RA. It’s helpful to have someone to lean on during difficult moments
— and someone to lend an extra pair of hands when you're physically
unable to help yourself. “I’ve been very lucky to have parents to support me
through this long journey," Shirley says. "They’re there for me any
time of day to talk or give me a hug. All of my friends have also been
incredible, but I have to say that is because I’m open and honest with them
about my health. They wouldn't be able to support me through it if I didn't
tell them what was going on.”

But not every relationship is able
to withstand the stresses of RA. Shirley recalls a romantic relationship that
fell apart when her boyfriend, who was supportive while her condition was well-managed
by medication, found himself unable to deal with the discomfort he felt when
her symptoms became unpredictable. Shirley admits, “I've had to cry myself to
sleep many times because of the throbbing pain and loneliness.” But she doesn’t
allow herself to wallow in self-pity or torture herself with “what-ifs.” Instead,
she chooses to focus on the good in her life. “One of the most amazing things
my friends did for me was in college," she says. "They surprised me
by forming a team for the Arthritis Foundation's Jingle Bell Walk. They gathered
15 girls from my sorority and 15 guys from a few of the fraternities
— it was beautiful.”

Stronger
Because of RA, Not in Spite of It

In the beginning, living with rheumatoid
arthritis made Shirley feel like a prisoner in her own body. She describes the
physical pain of RA as confining and restrictive, and says it could take over
and become the sole focus of her life before she knew it was happening. Dealing
with the physical and emotional pain of RA, coupled with typical societal
expectations and judgments, was too much for Shirley to bear, and she concluded
that something had to give. She made the conscious decision to focus on letting
go of self-judgment and self-disapproval, which had the added benefit of
allowing her to stop caring so much about what others thought about her.

“My new philosophy on life is that I
want to experience everything that I think will bring me joy and a feeling of
exhilaration," she says. "I want to love deeply and create wonderful
things. I want to take advantage of all of the goodness in this world and add
to the good. I want to do all the things on my bucket list before I'm 60 years
old, like take singing lessons and learn to salsa, which I am now physically
able to do because of my healthy lifestyle. Meditation, positive affirmation,
and emotional healing work have been really helpful in managing the emotional
pain that comes with RA and getting me to this mental state.”

Helping
Others With RA Learn to Move Forward

Shirley believes in the power of
positivity and knows firsthand the positive effects that a holistic lifestyle can
have on reducing pain and inflammation while increasing joy and pleasure. The
little girl diagnosed with the debilitating condition has grown into a woman
with a passion for helping others find their way to health and happiness. Based
in Virginia, she is a certified holistic health coach, founder of the
International Health Coach Association and the “Take Back Your Health” conference,
and a member of the American Association of Drugless Practitioners.

“I don't put pressure on myself to
have a perfect day every day,” Shirley says. “I make decisions that will bring
me closer to happiness, and that means I’m exploring all of my treatment
options and implementing the ones that I feel will work for me. And they’re
working. I feel happier than ever because I have more energy than I know what
to do with and my pain is decreasing. I'm wearing heels and makeup again, I
have wonderful friends that I spend time with, and I've learned to forgive,
love, and feel gratitude more deeply than I ever would have without RA.”

Shirley offers this advice for
people recently diagnosed with RA:

Keep your mind and heart open for
good things to come to you, and expect that good things will
come to you.

Don’t close yourself off to love and
support from family and friends by keeping your health concerns from them. The
people who love and care about you know that you’re so much more than your
physical body. Don’t turn away from their love and support.

“Don't fight the change that this
disease is bringing to your life," she says. "Give in. Change. Whatever
that means for you. Slow down, eat better, heal relationships, ask for help,
enjoy the simple pleasures, breathe deeply, learn about your body, and educate
yourself. You can move back in with your family, change career paths. Your life
will never be the same, but you get to decide if you’re going to become an
angry victim or a wiser, more energetic, happy, loved, loving, grateful, and
fulfilled version of yourself &mdash because that’s truly the potential
here.”

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