Longtime Single Man Will Pay You to Find Him Wife

Last week, Paul Gutierrez came to Asylum with an earnest plea: Could one of our readers find him a wife?

The catch? Our bachelor is 38 years-old, has never had a girlfriend and his hobbies include breeding hamsters.

While finding a woman for a man like Gutierrez may seem a task too difficult to consider, there's a little something in it for the person who sets him up with his future betrothed. For that person, he's legally prepared to pay 5 percent of his future income for the duration of the marriage.

(Note that the 5 percent perk will be especially alluring once Guitierrez becomes employed. Still, even if he were to draw a $25K salary, we're talking $1,250 worth of residual yearly income.)

To help himself find a lady in waiting with more ease, Gutierrez has put together a want ad of sorts -- in the form of a blog. The blog -- aptly dubbed "Can Anyone Find Me a Wife?" -- lays out 38 reasons why a woman should pay him attention. They include his ability to bounce back (demonstrated by his dedication to find a woman, despite myriad rejections on dating websites), his love of hamsters and the fact that his leading lady will "always be the smart one."

Says Gutierrez: "Despite having a sense of humor about all of this, I'm completely sincere about my search for a wife and the price I'm willing to pay to find her."

"I've been single all my life because I never thought I would find a woman who would ever love me for me," Gutierrez tells Asylum. "I'm not exactly your normal cat, not to mention women haven't exactly been beating down my door the last 20-plus years."

He adds, "Anybody can have a bad decade or two, I suppose."

According to our desperate bachelor, he's never asked a woman out. He also told us that the first woman he kissed he loved for more than 17 years, though they never dated or talked much.

"Let's just say my few attempts at intimacy with a woman have ended badly," he says. "I lost my virginity to an escort for goodness sake!"