The USA - (May 22) -
The scotch tape and chewing gum infrastructure of bogus
capitalist "reality" continued crumbling, this week, as
fundamental world communications links crashed without
back up, and enough people continued pushing so hard at
the fucking "edge," that another one finally crossed
over into the religion of absolute honesty, where mass
murder is the only Salvation.

"The fucking lies," "the fucking fascism of unbridled
consumer capitalism," "the constant assault of endless,
unreal, fabricated expectation," and, of course, "the
sudden unbearable lightness, or whatever, of the
awareness that 'Fear and Loathing,' was gonna be an
utter fucking piece of dogshit," were all given as
reasons for whatever was happening, regardless of what
it actually was or wasn't that actually was, you
know, happening.

Speaking to the graduating class of the US Navel
Academy, at Promotional Consideration Auditorium, in
Promotional Consideration-or-Consequences, New Mexico,
President Clinton warned, "These random killings must
stop, or, at least, they must be channelled into
well-thought-out, highly targeted, totally
non-random killings.

"Whether they are just a function of human nature, or of
human nature made sick and brutal by consumer capitalism
and its handmaiden, advertising, is not for us to
decide. That judgement should be left to Clarence
Thomas."

The students responded by staring at their navels, as
they'd been trained to do during 4 rigorous years at the
Navel Academy.

"Eventually, it's all gonna be just a vast sinkhole
where everybody's a robot except you and me and --
sometimes -- you know, I'm not so sure about YOU,"
Clinton went on.

"You know -- a world where pagers and fax machines talk
to each other via satellite, and software already has
the response waiting based on phone number of the caller
and fast search of vast databases, and where, by the
same token, the response to the response is already
known, so the response to that is already
prepared and sometimes even sent before the first
response itself, and likewise on the other side -- so,
in the end, all possible human interactions have already
been played out to their logical or illogical
(whichever) conclusion in software, even before they've
been initiated in the first place, so not only 'like,
why fucking even fucking bother,' but also, you
know, 'like, uhhh, why fucking even ... uhhh ....'
something else."

At this point, losing interest in his own speech, which
he'd already read so why bother, the President put aside
his prepared text and momentarily got down with Warren
Beatty and started rapping about his week.

Sittin at the White House
When along comes Tara Lapinsky
I said, hey there Tara Lapinsky
You know, Lapinsky kinda rhymes with Lewinsky.