(That's not really the picture they used, I'm just being hilariously irreverent.)

Actually, it's worth checking out even if you don't find me fascinating, since I'm the very first person in New York City, if not the entire United States, ever to put a child on a bicycle. That makes my insights into the subject hugely important.

Speaking of putting the childrens on the bicycles, shortly after the photos in the above interview were taken I removed the child seat from the Big Dummy and replaced it with a laterally stiff yet vertically compliant "kiddie kockpit:"

And yes, of course it's crabon, because I don't fuck around:

We're both enjoying the new hop-on-and-go setup, which feels quite liberating after that big Dark Helment-esque hunk of plastic:

Seriously, tell me that resemblance isn't uncanny:

See that? It's totally without can.

While we're on the subject of bicycle modification, let's talk about tire customization:

A few minutes passed, and then Cavendish broke into a big grin and the hugs began — the photo finish showed he’d edged the charging Degenkolb by a tire’s width. Moreno Hofland (Belkin) rounded out the podium in third.“To be fair, I won Milano-Sanremo by 10 centimeters before,” Cavendish said. “I’ve lost a sprint in the Giro d’Italia by three centimeters. Both of those, I knew the outcome. This is the first time in my career I really had no idea. I had to wait a little bit until they confirmed.”

Alas, Cavendish doesn't specify the exact distance in this case, so we have no idea what kind of tire they actually mean. Are we talking a typical road racing tire, or are we in mountain bike territory? Seems to me that's an important distinction, and I'd like to think if it's the latter that VeloNews would report that he won by a "Big Cunt."

I sure hope somebody's taking tomorrow off to go to the postal office and mail me a package on account of how I put my email address on these comments and thusly won an original hand-drawn artistic aero-themed pumpage artwork!

I'm petitioning the American National Standards Institute to adopt the cunt as the new standard of measure in the US to help us to travel there and get confused by "miles" (I believe pronounced, mill-lees). Like the metric system, it will be decimal, so we will have the cunt (C), the big cunt (BC) , and the fucking big cunt (FBC), followed by the complete cunt (CC). Soon, people will say, "that next stretch of dangerous road is one hairy cunt", and we will know exactly what they mean.

Oh ma lawd I just read the TA article. *BTW, I declare false advertising, cuz there was no T&A whatsoever! But anyway "holy crap," what a fitting term: "concern trolls." ALL CONCERNED. Like "Shouldn't you be fattening the kid up with McDonald's and Pop Tarts so they die of heart disease instead?"

Reminds me of those "well-meaning" (i.e. passive-aggressive) religious people (and I hate to make the religion analogy again (but I'm gonna (but not before dropping a few more parentheses first(())))) whose lives are full of secret problems but they find out (through gossiping) that you're doing something they don't approve of and tell their fellow gossips "Pray for him" and when they see you they say "I'll pray for you." Yeah thanks for the help douche, good thing you're perfect and have nothing in your own life to pray for, so you can lend me some of your prayer-bandwidth.

If during your commute, you sign a TA petition while wearing a BSNYC cap, TA wants to take your picture.

What I learned about riding this weekend:

You know you're old when:

-- you stop at a popular indoor plumbing exhibit on River Road and another rider asks if the 30 something near you wearing a similar jersey is your son.

-- you stop at a popular donut shop in Nyack, can't quite remember the route you would take to do a loop around DeForest Lake in Congers, and head to Rockland Lake instead because you couldn't possibly get lost when you're never more than 1/2 mile from Route 9W.

-- you realize that the only landmarks you recall involve eating or peeing.

At first I was wondering why Cipo was driving cars and flying helicopters; why isn't he doing the bike? Then when he got on the bike, I wondered why he wouldn't just drive or fly? And after all that, no Cipo porn! I thought for sure he was going to bang ALL the broads. Maybe all at once.

Article reminded me of something I read over the weekend about this new hotel which seems completely upside-down: "You can not only rent a bike but also borrow a mini Cooper for free." Maybe Berlin's a terrible place to ride a bike, but come on.

Karl Nityzli? No I don't know any Karl Nityzli, capital N, small i, small t, small y, small z, small l, small i.

So, I would estimate it is only about 16 quadrillion megacunts from here to the dwarf galaxy Fornax, and if one were to travel there at Fred whoo-hoo-hoo speed to the cunth power you might make it before the entropic end of this particular universe, and enjoy a nice cold beer and a falafel sandwich. So: Get on your bikes and ride! Singing: Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round.

In the TA agitprop, I note you protect from the chain-lubricant-soiling-one's-trousers annoyance by folding your trouser cuffs up. "Each to his own" is my abiding principle, but surely this is not an effective method?

My preferred technique is the tucking-of-cuffs-into-socks practice. This arrangement is not only the most serviceable, it is also the most stylish and erotically charged; markedly defining the contours of one's ankle.

Your geek-chic approach is not without its merits, I suppose, but in your case it's obviously the lazy habit of a dilettante unwilling to commit fully to the nerd ethic and invest in ankle clips.

What is thoroughly unacceptable though, is forcing the neighbourhood youngsters to follow the same convention.

The Nazi Youth is the closest parallel to what we're witnessing here -- you won't get away with it, Herr Snobby...

I just ordered some Schwalbe Ultremo ZXs and the ULTREMO is in big (I am a sucker fir white letters) white letters and the.....stay with me.......generic name for tramadol is ULTRAM I would be insane not to doctor them bitches up.

Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the cunt . And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!

On one hand, I am a little embarrassed at my childish rants about a drawing that my wife just won't understand.

But on the other hand, I have five fingers.

I will inform the clan to not throw away things in the mail that appear to be paper spam, and will also do my best to photograph the art on the wall to inspire all of you that yes, dreams can and do come true!

And again I thank all of you for not spamming my email after I posted it on these comment boards.

Interesting discussion. Shows our respective ages. "Move it over a cunt hair" would be lost on my sons. My youngest son informs me that he has seen a bush only in pictures, never having encountered one IRL.

As they say of male pattern baldness, there is only one part of the human body that looks better bald, and it's not even on a man.

Would that the coppers and other naysayers round here could read / i'd point them at it next time they yelling at me when riding w my kid / that I should be wearing helmet. Instead...coppers are getting giant SUVs so they can see over the SUVs of the regular folk driving around tossing coffee cups out their windows.

Just this AM a copper asked me why I didn't go through the construction lane he waved me through / I had waited and looked on my own...I told him I wanted to make sure it was clear / to check on my own. His answer: "no wonder you're not in a car; you have to obey my signals"

I've always thought Baldwin was a complete asshole. Plenty of company there it seems. But I never thought he was an actor worth watching. Seems like a minority there.

However I do find that after all these years, I found something to agree with him about: "New York City is a mismanaged carnival of stupidity that is desperate for revenue and anxious to criminalize behavior once thought benign."

Not sure what drinking a coke has to do with his arrest, but he's got it right.

Steven isn't too bad but the only baldwin I really can enjoy is Adam and I guess he doesn't count.

robot joined mbelyss Rosecrans. I thought it was spelled Rosicrucian, but either way robo is giving me the heebie-jeebies.

All right, Alec Baldwin is a dick. But Mayor DeBlasio is dickless. So many rich idiots have been pissing in his ear about the threat of pizza delivery guys on bikes terrorizing the streets (midtown, of course, Bootsy), that it's open season on cyclists.

While uptown in West Harlem, hordes of unlicensed and unregistered road warriors ride there ATV's and dirt bikes on sidewalks and against traffic 3 blocks from a police precinct and nothing is done about it.

Riding against traffic in NYC is safer. You have a better chance of avoiding a motorist if you see them coming than if they hit you from behind. In either case they wouldn't have even seen you nor would they get a ticket.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!