Tuesday, September 28, 2010

30 Days

According to this article, we should have a decision on our court case 30 days from today, if not sooner. When I read that, my reaction was “oh really?” I even entered this on my calendar as “court deadline hahahaha!” I’ll believe it when I see it, and I really hate feeling that way.

I’m having an inner struggle lately – my cynicism versus my optimism. Sadly, my past experience with all this court jazz has led me to view these announcements with a raised eyebrow and an expression of distrust. We’ve been here before and oh look! We’re still here. Waiting. We get built up and then we get the legs kicked out from under us. Again. It’s getting harder to get back up each time. The combination of the announcement that they are deciding to decide, and then a week later we get this one about his latest example of arrogance and audacity damn near did me in last week. I had to take a day to just shut myself away from the world and recover my balance.

Maybe it’s going to get worse before it gets better, at least that’s what I tell myself every morning to get out of bed, and every night to get me to sleep. Darkest before the dawn! That which does not kill us makes us stronger! Things happen for a reason! Patience is a virtue! Tomorrow is another day! Better living through vodka! Oh, wait…

I suppose it is a testament to my faith that I still believe, somewhere deep down in my shriveled skeptical heart that it might actually be over in a month. We might be able to finally close that door, and open so many others.

Until then, I keep busy, making my list of things to do When This Is All Over, and I can focus on the next chapter.