The last two months.

I don’t remember much of last summer. I know it came and went but it was buried in the hardest, darkest, worst months of my life that maybe it is best not remembered. Maybe one day the summer of 2015 will be looked back on fondly, but still today I take only two minutes of light from those days. 2:53 and 2:54pm on July 2. To say that the past year has been challenging is the greatest understatement of our lives. We have fought for every moment of calm we have gotten, and we have learned more about our five, and those who support and do not support us, than we ever could have imagined. We got to May and simply had a blur of 10 months of preceding crazy behind us. And so, we decided to commit to fun. To having memories that were not rooted in hard decisions, unfair choices, and anxiety. And in these two months alone we have remembered all that we committed to as people when we met, got married, and had kiddos….that for good or bad we are in this together and it is so much better that way. So, my recap of the last two months…..

Aunt and Uncle weekend: still unknown to us why, K&J offered to take everyone for the weekend. We said yes and spent three days laughing and crossing things off our to do list (the things that are difficult to accomplish when you have tiny hands helping) and sleeping. And, reflecting on how quiet our lives were without our kiddos.

Genetics: we finally got to see the geneticist, and BBA had every feature of his person measured, remeasured, and triple checked. We learned a lot and were left with an inordinate amount of questions. So, an average afternoon for us. We should get the results in early July.

Wedding weekend: another weekend with no kiddos, and in an odd circumstance of events at two weddings in two separate states on the same day. They were each weddings we could not think about missing, so we split up.

Memorial Day: spent at home for the first time in a long time. BBA had been doing better and we wanted to give him more calm before we put him on the car for six hours. It was a good choice.

June 1: we made it through Memorial Day weekend, but BBA was being odd so we took him in for a weight check and ended up at the JHU ER. Long story short, he was fine. He received a steroid shot for his panting and was observed for three hours. We got to go home. Winning!

Ophthalmology: back for our follow-up visit. BBA is far sighted, has astigmatism, and crosses his left eye out and his right eye in. Considering patching or glasses, but he needs more time before they decide. They support the August MRI so maybe we’ll have some more answers by the end of the summer.

The everyday fun: the boys have gotten in the pool and ZP and I have spent countless hours on the floor playing and having ‘tend tea (@littlepund style). We have taught our kids to laugh through it all, picked our first raspberries of the year, sent infinite funny face pictures to Mom Mom and Pop Pop, done FaceTime binges to anyone who answers, done a lot of arts and crafts (including homemade binoculars), stickered every person in our house (living and imaginary), and made a lot of pancakes (real and sand).

First birthdays: determined to celebrate making it through the hardest stuff (and in recognition that this is only the beginning of the hard), we partied the afternoon away today. A week early. It’s funny. You can laugh.

As ZP noted via Insta earlier, they say it takes a village. It’s been a year of ups and downs and all arounds. We have been surrounded this year by an inordinate amount of people who have shown us what friendship is about. Our lives are rarely easy, but it’s always us. That’s what counts.