The man entered the lobby of the hotel…
outside of his office..
swerving his arms dancing as if he was an eagle..
gliding

joy on his face
it was four days before Christmas.
I stayed there overnight in a random town close to Detroit
on my way to Toronto.

I heard the catchy tune of the banjo in the background….
as he mouthed..
to no one in particular..
“take it all back, take it all back… take it all back to have you…”.

I felt his joy.
exuberant.
loving.
delight.

I thought it was a new Christmas song out that I had not heard.
I left to continue my road trip…..
with many stories behind each stop.. (for another time)
as I encircled lake Erie..
at the dawn of the winter Hurricane.

Weeks later,
waiting in line at a coffee shop
In a place very far away…
the radio plays…
“take it all back, take it all back… take it all back to have you…”.

and I see the swirling man
again in my mind’s eye
as if he was transported there

I feel the smile inside out
at the circle of life things
that make it all worthwhile.

Days later I am reminded of the connection

I then listen to the song in full
and feel such resonance
for the melody as millions of others had
behind the sparks of divinity and love
that created it…

and I know without a doubt
that every expression
of yours and of mine…

— as an instrument of the infinite

of the … most high love
and joy
and grace and beauty and kindness…
manifest on this world…

As she looked out a the ocean, listening to the waves come in, watching the people walk by, she knew that there was more she wanted, than what had been. “Perhaps this is what we all want” she thought, “that pervasive, intangible something-more that is actually always just beyond the known, and unreachable but also has the power to keep us thirsting for more. “Does thirsting mean discontent? Not necessarily.

Was this real or imagined? Was it attainable or simply an illusion we all ended up fooling ourselves into in order to feel better? When we dare to enter the discomfort of the unknown. She knew that the answer was not to run away or deny its existence. The answer was to feel into it and trust it as an integral part of being alive.

So in the midst of recognizing there was much she simply did not know, she knew with certainty in her silent moments, that there were words in her, desiring to be shared. She often felt surprised by how many words keep manifesting once she sat down to write. [most of it junk she was sure].

She had a theory that everything that was ever meant to be said, had been shared already by someone else ‘out there’ – and she dreaded redundancy.

She was aware that her armature intentions would likely be dismissed in certain circles. But somehow none of it mattered.

On this day, the voice was so loud she stood up and stretched as the ocean met her. Her desire was to finally begin writing the stories that were in her. For no other reason, than to touch the pulse of life within her and to honor the creative impulse that allowed her to plug into the world with all that really mattered – her integrity.

And so she began, and knew that the next best steps would unravel as perfectly as every step before it. It was simply how life worked – and she trusted it. As she walked along the beach, she began painting her intentions:

“I’d like to introduce you to characters I have met, loved, imagined or dabbled with over my life. I hope to leave you feeling a spark of delight, goodness, curiosity, hope, resonance and most of all love.
I dare to dream that through my words, I may leave you with even a dash of inspiration & connection — to this amazing thing we call being human. Join me on my journey… all are welcome”

About

Life is a constant unraveling of stories and intricate understanding of ourselves and our place in the world. The process of writing can be liberating and transforming and I wanted to try it in this context of blogging.
My wish is that my words can matter and even create a spark or two of recognition in another. I want to be willing and vulnerable enough to dare greatly and write as if no one was watching. I wish you all the very best.