Whatever is on my mind: politics, the news, philosophy, poetry and satire.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

I AM THE NRA'S FAVORITE MAN

I am the NRA's favorite man. I am the man they will excitedly point their fingers at, jump up and down, get red in the face, and piss their collective pants. And they will smile, because their favorite man has made their case for them.

Here's my 10 point plan that makes me the NRA's favorite man:

1. I want the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution repealed because it is worthless and causes more trouble than good. Short of repealing the Second Amendment, I want it amended. My proposed amended text is in a previous post, here.

2. I want the U.S. government to collect all of the military-style semi- or fully automatic weapons presently owned by non-military persons. The government can buy them back from the present owners, but it will be compulsory. The Australian government has done this twice, and the results very clearly reduced gun violence and death.

3. All military-style weapons, like the infamous AR-15, will be illegal to own unless you have specific permission from the government because of your need as a military, police or security officer. And possession of such a weapon will be strictly regulated and controlled.

3. I want a federal system of gun registration for all privately owned guns - any and all kinds. Yes, a registry of who owns what weapons. Part of an owner's responsibility is to immediately report the theft of any weapon, and there will be a stiff penalty for not doing so.

4. Gun ownership will be allowed only after a prospective owner passes a background check, a written test, goes through training for safe use and storage of the weapon, and passes a shooting test. Think driving license.

5. Gun owners will be required to have insurance that covers accidental injury and death by their gun to themselves and others.

6. Gun owners will be held legally responsible for shooting accidents that occur with the owner's weapon.

7. Ammunition magazines for all non-military weapons will be limited to a 10 bullet capacity.

8. Gun manufacturers will be required to design safety features for all guns sold in the United States that will minimize or prevent accidents. (There is no reason why a 3-year old should be able to fire a gun he or she picks up.)

9. All of the above, where applicable, applies to handguns.

10. People will be allowed to own guns (yes, they will have a "right" to own guns) in compliance with 1 through 9, above.

This 10-point plan is not meant to prevent people from owning guns. I have no problems with guns used for hunting or target shooting. If people feel that they need a gun for self protection, fine; follow the 10-point plan.

My 10-point plan is very rational and reasonable. The present situation of guns in America is neither rational nor reasonable.

My 10-point plan is exactly what the NRA uses to get people all riled up about the government taking away our rights. This is why I am the NRA's favorite man.

To the NRA I say: "Bullshit! I'm calling you out, suckers! My goal is to protect human lives; your goal is to deal out death under the guise of freedom. I'll win this one."