Alex Rodriguez and the Yankees are at odds over his MRI results. / Jeff Blake, USA TODAY Sports

by Bob Nightengale, USA TODAY Sports

by Bob Nightengale, USA TODAY Sports

George Steinbrenner and Billy Martin are no longer with us, but, oh, how the Bronx Zoo has returned in all of its glory.

Man, we sure missed you.

The New York Yankees might no longer wildly spend their money. Steinbrenner, the late Yankees owner, isn't around to fire the secretary who put too much cream in his coffee. And Martin, hired and fired five times by the Yankees, isn't throwing punches at pitcher Ed Whitson in a drunken brawl.

But, baby, the drama is back.

There is more theater with Alex Rodriguez and the Yankees these days than the Steinbrenner-Dave Winfield spectacle when Steinbrenner was suspended for two years for paying gambler Howard Spira $40,000 to dig up dirt on Winfield.

Surely, any day now, someone is going to drop the classic Martin quote about Reggie Jackson and Steinbrenner: "One is a born liar, the other is convicted."

Yes, the Yankees and Rodriguez hate each other that much, and it was publicly displayed in all its glory Wednesday.

Simply, Rodriguez thinks the Yankees not only are assisting Major League Baseball in the Biogenesis investigation to suspend him from baseball but also might be committing insurance fraud, lying about his thigh injury. He refutes Yankees doctor Christopher Ahmad's diagnosis of a Grade 1 strained quadriceps and tried to prove it Wednesday.

The Yankees think Rodriguez is deranged, delusional and devious.

Baseball's version of Jerry Springer/Maury Povich is so bizarre Rodriguez is all but threatening the Yankees to return him Friday to the starting lineup at Yankee Stadium.

And it's so twisted that while the Yankees keep saying they want him back (wink, wink), they must first explore whether Rodriguez violated his contract for seeking a medical second opinion without consulting them.

It prompted general manager Brian Cashman to issue this statement: "I heard via a text message from Alex Rodriguez that he had retained a doctor to review his medical situation. In media reports, we have since learned that the doctor in question has acknowledged that he did not examine Mr. Rodriguez and that he was not retained to do a comprehensive medical examination of Mr. Rodriguez.

"Contrary to the basic agreement, Mr. Rodriguez did not notify us at any time that he was seeking a second opinion from any doctor with regard to his quad strain."

Wait, it gets better. That doctor in question, Michael Gross, an orthopedic surgeon with the Hackensack (N.J.) Medical Center, was reprimanded in February for "failing to adequately ensure proper patient treatment involving the prescribing of hormones including steroids."

Now, according to the New York Daily News, Gross and his clinic, Active Center for Health and Wellness, will now be part of MLB's drug probe.

Yes, sir, only in the world of A-Rod.

Banished to Tampa for workouts to rehab his quad injury/boo-boo, he was last seen being pulled away from the batting cage at the team training facility, saying, "I feel great," while leaving in an SUV driven by girlfriend Torrie Wilson, the former wrestler.

Yankees management was last seen looking up the phone number for Gross, wondering how he could be second-guessing their medical staff when he didn't examine A-Rod.

Gross went on Mike Francesa's popular WFAN show Wednesday, telling all of New York that Rodriguez was healthy after examining his MRI.

The Yankees, according to a high-ranking club executive, think it wasn't possible Gross was looking at the same MRI. New York Presbyterian Hospital did not release results or authorize anyone to see the exam, and the executive said Rodriguez never asked for a copy of the MRI.

Yet, a person close to Rodriguez insists it was the same MRI and was time-stamped from the hospital. The executive and person close to Rodriguez spoke to USA TODAY Sports on condition of anonymity because of the matter's sensitive nature.

While Gross acknowledged a Grade 1 strain might not appear on an MRI, he said the tear could be so small it's a "clinical diagnosis," based on the patient's information.

"I had the chance to talk to him also," Gross told a radio audience. "I asked him, 'A-Rod, does anything hurt? He said, "No.' If there's no pain, to me as an orthopedist, that means there's no injury."

This conflict is nothing new to Rodriguez, who was convinced weeks ago the Yankees are simply stalling while they collect insurance on his $28 million salary, hoping that he will be suspended in the Biogenesis investigation before he returns.

It doesn't take a CSI: NY viewing audience to understand the Yankees would prefer Rodriguez blow out his hip or provide polluted urine in his next drug test than ever put on a Yankees uniform again. They have a $234.3 million payroll, according to salary information report obtained by USA TODAY Sports, and are determined to be below the $189 million luxury tax limit next season.

It will be virtually an impossible feat, unless they can maneuver from Rodriguez's contract, saving them $88 million the three seasons after this one. That's why the Yankees would rather turn into the Houston Astros than have Rodriguez wear their uniform again.

And that's why there's a better chance of Bud Selig and Ryan Braun clubbing together at Jay-Z's Manhattan nightclub than Rodriguez playing again for the Yankees.

Then again, as miserable as Cashman and the Yankees and Rodriguez make each other, at least they didn't have the worst week in town.

Only in New York can Anthony Weiner steal a few headlines from this circus.