Emotional Konshens

Artiste says he can't again listen to song he recorded in memory of brother

Konshens puts on a brave face when he tries to talk about his late brother Delus. But midway his response to the Jamaica Observer's query about Days Of My Life, the song on his latest album — It Feel Good dedicated to his brother — a bit of emotion becomes evident.

The pain of losing his older brother just over two years ago is still so strong that although Konshens included the song on the set, he admits that he can no longer listen to the track.

“Mi listen it three times and can't listen to it again,” he says, explaining that now when he reviews the album he skips the song. However, he is encouraging people to listen to it as he hopes it will help anyone experiencing problems that could lead to them committing suicide.

Delus, whose real name was Delmark Spence, reportedly shot himself at his Havendale, St Andrew, home on June 22, 2016.

At the time, the police force's Corporate Communications Unit reported that residents of Riverside Drive in Havendale alerted the police minutes just 7:00 pm after hearing an explosion from the dancehall artiste's apartment.

When the police arrived and entered the apartment, Delus's lifeless body was found in his bathroom with what appeared to be a gunshot wound to the head.

He had celebrated his 35th birthday the weekend before.

Torn by the tragedy, Konshens mourned his brother in an Instagram post.

“No know how mi aggo do dis without u, dawg. But mi aggo do it, cah u love see mi a do it. We can always say u neva affi do dat, but mi prefer seh mi wish u neva affi do dat. Mi know you, if it was so heavy that u think u needed to quit then to hell with it, dawg. REST and rest easy to,” a section of the post read.

Konshens also thanked the public for their outpouring of support.

In an interview with the Observer, Konshens explained that he had actually completed the new album, It Feel Good, and decided to listen to “some beats” sent to him with the hope that he would do a song on one of them.

“So I just ended up listening to that and was weighing my mind if I wanted to talk about a topic like that in such a public way. But den mi figure say it healthy fi express it, and the fact that I have his foundation now I want to show people that it's not such a taboo topic, the whole circumstances that led to it,” he said.

The foundation, named 'Delus Lived', was launched by Konshens in July 2017. Its aim is to provide help to people suffering from depression and anxiety.

He said that he started putting the lyrics together while listening to the rhythm and found that “it worked”. His next move was to send the song to Jamaican producer Rvssian who got singer Satori to add her voice to the track.

“She went through a similar situation with one of her family members, and she basically sang exactly what I was thinking on the song, and that was it,” Konshens explained.

The track opens with thought-provoking lyrics from Satori, then the moves to Konshens, whose reflections are a haunting expression of his feelings.

“Dog wa mek yu cut, yu cudn stay likkle longa

R ight wen wi a get ready fi live de life wa wi a work hard fa

See it a come ya, a dis we wen de work hard so long fa

But yu jus lef mi wid a big question sign an no ansa

Sometime mi try tuff it out, gwaan like soldja an gangsta

Sometime mi vex wid yu dawg, yu lef mi heart full a anga

But mos a de time mi jus cry, cause mi missing yu,” he laments.

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