Back in 1975 the great Paul Simon recorded the iconic, Grammy-winning album, "Still Crazy After All These Years." It included Simon's first and only solo #1 hit, "50 Way To Leave Your Lover." The history behind the single is quite interesting: it was written after Simon's divorce from first wife Peggy Harper. The song is a mistress's humorous advice to a husband on ways to end a relationship.

Mistress. Ending a relationship. Hmm. What if the mistress is Senator Rafael 'Ted' Cruz? Ending his relationship with the GOP and leaving it for a new lover, the Tea Party?

She said it's really not my habit To intrude Furthermore, I hope my meaning Won't be lost or misconstrued But I'll repeat myself At the risk of being crude There must be fifty ways To leave your lover Fifty ways to leave your lover

So while I slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan, no need to be coy, Roy, just listen to Ted -- Below are some of the 50 ways that America's being impacted which The Huffington Post found in a survey of local newspapers. You can find the entire list here:

United Technologies Corp. says it may furlough more than 5,000 workers in Nevada. (LINK)

Children in Tennessee couldn't ride the bus to school. "Since the Great Smoky Mountains are closed, along with a number of roads overseen by rangers, a some parents had to find another way to get their children to class. During the government shutdown, Bus #49 could not make its route." (LINK)

A free health care clinic in Alabama can't take on new patients. "Our hands are tied because we can’t help those patients unless we get that," said Cullman’s Good Samaritan Clinic Executive Director Kelly Lindsey. "We also work with pharmaceutical companies to get people free medicine, but they won’t do that unless we have that paperwork. It’s impacting us quite a bit now." (LINK)