8 things you’ll only understand if you go to Messiah

Last year at this time I wrote about 10 things you should know before coming to Messiah. While I’m far from the expert on Messiah College, I like to think I’m older and wiser going into my junior year. Our school is unique – and looking at its quirks with a sense of humor is what gets me through the late nights, rough tests and ridiculous amounts of coffee I consume during any given semester. So here’s eight things you’ll only get if you go to the greatest place on earth:

When warm cookie day at Lottie gives you visions of heaven.

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Nothing is better than walking through the doors of Lottie and smelling the buttery and chocolatey goodness that are warm chocolate chip cookies. Just staring at the sheet of gooey cookies straight out of the oven makes you wonder if they were hand-baked by God. Pro tip: put one in a bowl with ice cream and hot sauce on top if you hate your body as much as I hate mine.

Being woken up by the deafening sounds of a train at 7 a.m.

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8 a.m. philosophy class is hard enough but I’ve discovered an even worse alarm: the train. You either roll over with your pillow over your head or jump out of your own skin while it thunders by when you least expect it. Once you learn to block it out, you’ll be able to sleep soundly with visions of the industrial revolution dancing in your head.

Getting all the perks of a zoo just by stepping out of your dorm room.

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Amidst the rolling farmland of Central PA, Messiah is home to a diverse wildlife of chickens, interesting looking birds at the Breeches, an alligator in the science center and the occasional bear in the back 40. Who needs to drive to the Philadelphia or D.C. zoos when you can satisfy your 6-year-old dream of becoming a vet right on campus.

Experiencing the Sunday “walk of shame” to Lottie.

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We’ve all been there. Sunday morning rolls around you’re just too tired to go to church anywhere besides Bedside Baptist. The shame is real when you show up to Lottie for lunch in sweats and a t-shirt when everyone else is back from church in their Sunday best. Just lay low, keep your head down and eat your chicken cordon bleu fast.

Ignoring every single one of your responsibilities to (almost) break your neck sledding on Cemetery Hill.

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The first snow day is basically “everyone grab your sled/trash can lid/cardboard box and get to Cemetary Hill” day. While the snow ramps freeze overnight and become somewhat dangerous, the thrill of going down will make your heart race faster than the eighth cup of coffee you’ve consumed during two hours of finals week.

You literally need a personal trainer to help you make it to the fourth floor of Boyer.

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There’s nothing more mentally and physically challenging than stairs, and more specifically the stairs to the fourth floor of Boyer. It takes a solid routine to muster the sheer strength and determination it takes to make it to this elusive floor. Pull out your best sneakers, create a playlist that gets you hype and have an athletic training major yell at you the whole way up. (Also ignore everything I just said and take the elevator.)

Your lifelong goal is to make it on the front of one of the Messiah brochures.

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Let’s be honest, every time Messiah produces a new brochure you’re instantly jealous of the smiling, good-looking, Messiah t-shirt clad students on the front. I’m happy, I like to fake laugh, and occasionally a light gust of wind makes me look like a supermodel on my way to class, you think to yourself. At least there’s always next year.

You know who the real president of the United States should be.

Enough said.

This is the last story in a series of articles devoted to topics relevant to first-year students. Check out the previous article in this series on the new student social. We can’t wait to welcome you to campus on Thursday!

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2 Comments

Taggart Wilber
on August 20, 2016 at 3:28 pm

Too bad athletic training is not anywhere close to personal training. Athletic trainers are not there to coach or motivate anyone. They are medical staff attending to the injuries and rehab of athletes.