to the suns beyond the sea ~ 6 months in Europe

New Year’s Thoughts & Letters

I meant to do a New Years post, somewhere around the time of New Years, and although we’re still in January, it’s not very close to January 1st. I really don’t know where the days went; the whole 18 days of this month have flown by incredibly fast for me.

But it is still a new year. And that excites me. I like New Year’s because it always signifies a new beginning. Which I like. I like new things, I like change, I like new people, etcetera. And though a New Year doesn’t always signify a new start physically because we are often in the same place, working the same job, going to the same school, it is still a chance to change.

I often see New Year’s as people wanting to change for the better. I think mankind, as an individual, is always trying to better himself, to get closer to that person he wants to be. New Year’s gives people that opportunity with resolutions! It’s time to start exercising, time to start painting daily, time to start writing, being kinder to others, stop drinking, whatever that goal is. We all know many of these goals run their pace before the end of the year, but the important thing is that the idea was placed there, that there was an effort, and that it gives us something to look back on.

That being said, I don’t quite have a normal resolution this year. Two years ago, I resolved to write once a week, and I did that until April[1]. Last year I had a few points:

Don’t lose my understanding of the Polish language before going to Poland

Yoga!/Becoming flexible & fit again.

Figure out my life in terms of narrowing down more what dreams I want to pursue, what courses I want to take in university in September, etcetera.

Last year, I thought I wanted to go to Poland for part or most of the summer. What ended up happening, was I didn’t practice Polish once. And I decided to move there in September for ten months instead, in order to regain my second language.
Yoga! That happened! I did reach the level of fitness and flexibility I wanted to be at.
Figuring out my life… well I narrowed it down by crossing out the ideas I had for courses I wanted to take in university… I am more unsure than I was before. But now I’m okay with it. I don’t feel that pressure that everyone does to decide who they want to be for the rest of their lives. I’m nineteen. I have time. I have a lot of time, and if I don’t figure it out for another five years, I’m okay with that. I’ve met some people here that are 29, and still have no idea, but they’ve really been living their lives to the fullest in the meantime.

This year, I don’t have ‘goals’, as in more than one. I don’t have a single goal I would like to do once a week. I have a one-day-long goal, and I hope I’ll achieve sometime in the next 365 minus 18 days I have left. Unfortunately, I am not going to share it with the world until it happens, because I sometimes get this superstitious-sort-of-feeling that if I tell people things, they don’t come true. Like wishes! So we’ll see how this works out. The moment it happens, though, you will hear about it.

On to other New Year’s related thing. Every year (for the past five years) I’ve written a letter to myself on New Year’s. And I don’t get to read it till the next New Year. It always gives me something to look forward to because it’s a really great way for me to see how much I’ve changed. My letters surprise me every year, to be honest. My views, so far, have changed year to year, thoughts, feelings, friendships, dreams, accomplishments ß that’s the gist of what is in the letters. It’s like a glimpse into the old you, back when you couldn’t really see the way you were. I encourage everyone to do it. Write out what you think of yourself, write our what your ambitions are, you views on issues that are important to you, personal anecdotes, friendships that matter, advice to yourself in the future, where you see yourself next year, anything you want. It is so fulfilling writing a letter to yourself.

I took it a step up this year. This year, I wrote an additional letter to myself, for 2018, five years down the road! It’s hard to imagine a day when we will write 2018 on our essays and write-ups, but it’ll come and go like all years do. I decided to do this because, when I think about it, I can’t picture a single thing about my life in five years. I will be twenty-four. Where I will be, who I will be, what I will be doing, how much I will have changed, what will I have accomplished by then, what will my ambitions be—it’s all a complete mystery to me! So I handwrote a four page letter to myself. I am going to be incredibly excited to read it when the time comes.

Also somewhat related with new beginnings—I switched rooms! I did this for a few reasons, but it wasn’t the easiest choice. I really like my ex-roommates, but I think we’re on good enough terms that we will be seeing each other semi-regularly whether or not I live next to them. I had six room to chose from, and in those six rooms I met quite a variety of people. The first five rooms I went to though, were very discouraging. I always thought of myself as someone that gets along with pretty much everyone. I like everyone. I can strike up conversation with everyone. I’m good with new people! But I met some striking and contradicting personalities, that surprisingly made me cross off room after room off the list. Thankfully, the last room passed the test. Super nice roommates, amiable girl-roommate, seemed promising. I moved in two days ago, and so far am liking it. I am getting more sleep, and feel more comfortable here on a whole. It feels a little weird not having known these three people for four months, like they all have four months time together on me, but I think as we get to know each other more the difference will fade away.

Anyways, cheers to new beginnings, new friends, new dreams, and to this odd-numbered[2] year! I hope it is just as fulfilling as 2012 was for me and that it does not go by as fast, though I seriously doubt it will.