Insanity

Have you ever wondered if you were insane? Not just "omg you jumped off a building with a parachute, ur insane!!" way, but actually truly insane? that you will end up like friggin Bobby Fischer, or just snap mentally and hurt somebody?

i keep feeling this massive thing inside me. it just keeps welling up and getting more and more unbearable. i've often thought about hurting people, and i often dream of getting into a fight with somebody because i somehow believe that by doing so i will relieve some of the pressure i feel in my head.

i don't see how it will. i need a release of some form, from the guilt, the hate, the madness. i don't believe i'm a bad person, i just don't know what the fuck to do at times.

I hear that if you're truly insane you won't know it yourself and be in complete denial over it. Rage isn't the same as insanity. Maybe you should channel your rage into martial arts or a combat sport? Who knows, you might be really good and make a bit of money from it. If not, poundng a heavy bag whilst picturing all the people responsible for your rage is very therapeutic.

Every now and then I think that I´m going insane. Are there criteria to find out if you are insane? I have the same rage build-up in me. I sometimes just imaging punching people and almost did punch a person in school for moving my books. Ya, how pathetic...I have a boxing bag and punch that till my hands hurt too much to continue.