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Hey Jihadis

So sorry this is not the site you were probably looking for. I have analytic software which lists who visits here by what search terms are used.

Still, make yourself at home. Please take a load off, provided it does not go boom. I find you guys somewhat distasteful, but I'll give you a pat on the back (if you are not wearing one of those special vests) for your equality in suicide operations.

It is refreshing to see that in this one action, you actually allow females to participate. How very early 20th century of you all. . .

Tag: Brazilian wax

A jihadi is eating breakfast and gets waxed? (Not Brazilian waxed, but an old-school mafia waxing.) Then, his men’s club celebrates the fact that ol’ Abu could not finish his short stack of pancakes:

We celebrate to you the news of the martyrdom of the working scholar Shaykh Khalid al-Hussainan (Abu Zaid al-Kuwaiti) while eating his Suhoor (dawn time) meal, and we ask Allah to accept him in paradise.

Tehreek-e-Taliban Pakistan (TTP) spokesman Ehsanullah Ehsan confirmed to AFP by telephone on Friday that the faction was “temporarily” using the page “to fulfil its requirements” before launching its own website.

Ummmm, Umar Media, have you guys tried monster.com? I hear they get good results.

I like yarns. ‘Cept the definition of yarn I like is stories, not this yarn:

MINI Cooper, Yarn Bombed

I’ll take the above socky creation to the below Orange Mini, created by the Irish fruit company Outspan (Fyffes) in 1972 to advertise their wares:

Outspan had three of these built in 1972, with Mini Parts

Interestingly enough, the new MINI is all-capitalized, while the old Mini is not. The salacious details:

When production of the classic Mini ceased in 2000, BMW (the new owner of the brand) announced the successor to the Mini. The brand name for the new car is MINI (written in capital letters), and it is commonly called the “New Mini”.

Not this Minnie

The new Mini is much larger than the original Mini.

It is around 58 centimeters (23 in) longer, 50 centimetres (20 in) wider, 7 centimeters (2.8 in) higher, and weighs around 1,144 kg (2,522 lb) rather than 650 kg (1,433 lb). It is now classified as compact car rather than city car.

On 3 April 2007, the one millionth Mini rolled out of the Oxford Plant after six years of production, just one month longer than it took the classic Mini to reach the same total in March 1965.

Of course, any whispers on the Mini or the MINI or the mini (not the Minnie) require mention of the movie, the Italian Job:

Charlize Theron in front of a MINI in the Italian Job

Word in Hollywood is that the Brazilian Job, the sequel to the Italian Job, once shelved, may be (possibly) back in motion. I sure hope so, the original was great. Mark Wahlberg appeared optimistic last year:

In 2008, “The Brazilian Job” was rumored to be shelved which has been affirmed by Seth Green’s statement that the project is dead. In a recent interview with Collider, Mark Wahlberg has sounded different opinion about the status of the film, hinting that “The Italian Job” sequel is going to happen.

The Brazilian Job

“The Brazilian Job is now kind of getting active again,” he says. Asked further by Collider if he thinks “Brazilian Job” will make it to theaters, Wahlberg explains, “Yeah, I think if it’s ever going to happen it would be now.

“But, you know, with any other movie that I’ve made there’s been talks of sequels but if we can’t make it any better or as good as the first, we just don’t want to do it. It’s just not worth it.”

It caused me considerable concern when I heard the locale for the new movie. That the plot may focus on another kind of Brazilian, ie: the famous (or infamous) Brazilian Wax. Possible movie trailer tagline: The Brazilian Job: Some Thrillers Are Hairy, This One Is Hairless!

And lastly, there exists a nasty rumor circulating amongst the fey Occupy Wall Street folk-ers that they are going to be pressed into the Italian Job sequel. Except the working title on this one, instead of the Brazilian Job, is Any Job:

I harbor the vague notion that this undoubtably painful procedure entails a full body wax. I shared my picture in this post here. Can you imagine how uncomfortable that would be for me? Bottom line: I would not be interested in covering my body with hot wax. Hot bubbly chocolate, well, I am open to persuasion.

Update: A more informed reader just opened my eyes as to the nature of the Brazilian. It is, to put it delicately, a private procedure. . .

2. Carpet cleaning in Thousand Oaks:

Does anybody need some rugs shampooed out that-a-ways? I got your hookup. My main issue is not with the spam, it is with the city. Have you ever counted all the oaks? 983, max.

Predators Drone and Drone and Drone

3. Send gifts to Pakistan:

We do send gifts to Pakistan. We call them Predators. And they are very generous with their Hellfires. So far, no major complaints from the recipients.

And if there are complaints (hint hint, reader in Karachi) send coords (lat, longs) so we can be more surgical in future evolutions. Please clarify coordinates down to the nearest foot and do not move once sent. We will call you when we are ready. Promise.

This is called getting kicked in the Karachi. . .

Bob Ross: Air Force Airman painting happy little trees!

4. Overcome negative thinking:

This individual (bot) had a very positive, cheery message. Apparently the way to overcome negative thinking is to spam out a bunch of shiny, happy comments.

Let’s paint some fluffy, little clouds! We don’t have mistakes here, we just have happy accidents! Little birds got to have places to put their foots. . .

Note: Bob Ross, the painter to the left, was in the Air Force. No joke! His hair looks to be about reg, for the Force that is.

Exotic Pole Dancer

5. Pole-danicng poles:

Is this some sort of exotic Polish pastime? And what is danicng? Perhaps you mean Pole-dancing poles? Now ish the time on Shhhh-prockets where we dance! Until next time, Auf Wiedersehen!

6. Cephalic vein anatomy:

I am not sure what product this site is advertising. Still, its spam complained about my misspellings while (you got it) it misspelled words.That six foot plank of knotty naughty pine in your eye really smarts, does it not?

Bob Ross gets the final word: So from all of us here, I’d like to wish you happy painting, and God bless, my friend.