I could simply say that this movie tries as hard as its title does and fails just as much but I think it might deserve at least a little explanation.

Have you ever seen a movie and at the end you were like, “I was engaged the entire time but wow was that kind of totally not worth seeing?” Do you want to feel that feeling again? Then this movie is for you. The entire plot of the movie seemed to try to develop so many characters and tried to have a standard bad guy v. good guy showdown. And it failed.

It didn’t fail to develop some characters. Young Professor X was divine. And I am not just saying that because James Macavoy is so delicious. (He is thought, even with the long hair and interesting clothing choices.) It would take one hell of a transformation to get the character from god complex, to hopeless crippled wastrel, to the shining beacon of hope for his entire species. And by golly I think they did it. I felt that performance and it was some of the better acting I have ever seen in a superhero movie.

I enjoyed the growth in old Magneto. I have never felt that the character emoted that well but I finally was able to connect.

I even believed the growth in Wolverine. Especially at the end. It might have been the performances of these three that held me throughout the movie. Of course, a lot of the little people impressed me. The team of youngish supers both past and future were strong presences in spite of their few actual lines and no character development. But this movie was less about them and more about friendship which almost made me gag on my overpriced popcorn.

There were many performances I was let down by. Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique for one. I might bring the wrath of the internet down upon my head (although I doubt it since I don’t know if my blog has gotten any hits in the past few days) but I felt like her character was in the top if not tied with young Professor for possible “wow” acting and she just didn’t come through. Quite possibly the best scenes for her were when she didn’t have her blue skin on and was simply a girl. Those scenes held me, however briefly. So I am wondering if she simply cannot act through the costume. Maybe the makeup and the character were too much for her. This could just be a case of an actor not being able to make the role their own and instead having it own them.

I won’t nitpick every performance. I wish we could have had a little more personal justification for hating the mutants from Peter Dinklage but that really isn’t his fault. Young Magneto felt flat as did old Professor.

And they shouldn’t have. When I look at the entire cast, there are way too many brilliant actors who didn’t engage me, way to many characters I have been charmed by before that were ignorable at best. At the end of the movie I can hardly blame legends for the lackluster feeling I was left with. Instead, I am going to blame the writing. The plot kept jumping, the settings were jarring, and the major plot points resolved far too idealistically. In the entire movie I do not think a single character just refused to do what was needed. “Save the future? Well, you sound crazy and I hate you but sure, let’s all act together perfectly.” The entire movie was about a bunch of smart amazing people and mutants that accepted really crazy things pretty darn easily.

If you have seen the movie you might say, Prisma, the plot wasn’t that bad. I will remind you of the ending. If we weren’t set up for another movie with a fastly aging cast then we were giving the least satisfying ending to a franchise I have ever seen. Neither is acceptable to me.

Final Verdict: Go so that you can satisfy your friends that keep telling you that you HAVE TO SEE IT. Also go if you have seen all the other and/or follow the lore and have read the comics. I have heard that it pulls from the comics and that that is why it is okay to write such a jumbled plot where “be a good person” actually works like every single time. If this no longer appeals to you go see the new Spider-Man. And if you have seen it, seeing it again will still be better than this movie.

Social Cues: I don’t want to see a million memes complaining about plot holes or casting choices or deviation from the comics. Make a blog post and then move on.

Trailers: Did you know they are coming out with ANOTHER Transformers? I am shocked because I assumed that, like me, everyone ignored the last one and hoped the entire thing would just die quietly. I will not be seeing it so do not expect a review. Also, do not expect me to see TMNT. There seem to be no attractive men. I don’t need to see the entire thing to know that 4 turtles and Megan Fox is going to be terrible.