Boom Done! Trump Proves Voter Fraud

“According to a report in the New York Times, Trump told a story to House and Senate leaders about what he claims is voter fraud. Trump said he was told a story by Langer, who was standing in line at a polling place in Florida on Election Day. Langer was told he couldn’t vote, but others who looked like they should not be able to vote were allowed to cast provisional ballots, Trump said.”

The Donald came out and said that one of the pieces of evidence he has that voter fraud exists (it doesn’t) was a story he heard about PGA Tour pro Bernhard Langer being turned away from a polling place while other people who didn’t look like they should be voting (brown) were in fact voting!

Few quick things about this version of the story from some hole in the wall publications (New York Times/ USA Today). The first is Langer is a German national and therefore could never vote. Why he’d be lurking around a polling place is a conversation for later. Second in a post 2016 world just because a person looks like they shouldn’t be voting (again brown) that doesn’t necessarily mean they can’t vote.

Now that we got that out of the way here’s what’s going on here. If this story came out pre-2016, then everyone is like, “Hey Donald, you’re staring us dead in the eyes and lying right to our face.” But post-2016 (or as I like to call it 2017), in a world of alternate facts, Trump literally just proved voter fraud. I was reading the article and was like “Oh my God this is total horse shit” but I was too hasty. I then saw Bernhard’s response to this story.

“The voting situation reported was not conveyed from me to President Trump, but rather was told to me by a friend,” Langer said in a statement. “I then relayed the story in conversation with another friend, who shared it with a person with ties to the White House. From there, this was misconstrued. I am not a citizen of the United States, and cannot vote. It’s a privilege to live in the United States, and I am blessed to call America my home. I will have no further comment at this time.”

Boom roasted. After reading that convoluted way Trump actually heard the story who knows its origin? A friend told Bernhard’s dentist, who told his 11 year old niece, who told her abducter, who told someone close to the White House, who told someone at the White House, who told Trump. I wouldn’t be surprised if the original story is that Langer drove by a polling station once in the late 80s/ early 90s.

I also think that Trump just made this shit up and then called Bernhard and was like listen mein Freund if you ever want to hold another one of your over priced golf schools at one of my courses ever again you’ll play ball you goose-stepping son of a bitch.

And it worked!! Langer blamed the media for the story and less than 24 hours later Trump banned people from leaving airports. This is truly wild stuff. Trump can do what he wants, explain it away, but not really explain it away, and then move on to something even crazier before anyone (the liberal media) can even figure out what the fuck just happened. And just like that, Bernhard’s back to driving his Porsche “very much too fast”…

And I applaud him. Not his ideas because those are bat shit nuts but how he’s just doing what he wants not caring who’s against him or if he can even legally do said bat shit idea.

Snake it til you make it, the Donald. Snake it til you make it.

Oh yeah I almost forgot, some guy named Jon Rahm who is a PGA Tour rookie from Spain won the Farmer’s Insurance Open at Torrey Pines by making eagle on 2 of the last 6 holes. After this weekend there is no more football. Which means Sunday afternoons are golf (nap) days until September.