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5 Things You Need To Know About Vibrators

Some are called rabbits. Others? Elephants. There are plenty of words to describe the battery-powered pleasure centers that are tucked in bedside drawers everywhere, but they're best known by one word: vibrators.

Every woman should have a vibrator handy, but sadly such is not the case. Perhaps it's a lack of knowledge about the power—literally and figuratively—of these sex toys. To catch everyone up to speed, we've assembled five things that every woman needs to know about her should-be best friend.

1. Vibrators are good for you. Sure, they help you orgasm without requiring the pesky presence of a male, but "good for you" also relates to health. Studies have shown that women who use vibrators are more likely to have had their annual gynecological exam than women who don't use them. So, essentially, as you're giving yourself the gift of clitoral stimulation, you're also more mindful of your vaginal health. That's a win-win in our book.

2. Dudes don't hate them. Contrary to popular belief, vibrators don't intimidate men. Maybe not every guy will be showering his girlfriend with gift-wrapped Pink Elephants, but studies show that overall men are A-OK with women using vibrators. In fact, many agree they are a healthy part of a woman's sex life.

3. You've got to believe! Having confidence in the power of your battery-powered friend can do wonders. In one research study, women who had positive beliefs regarding their vibrators—and had used them within the previous 30 days—reported higher levels of sexual satisfaction. That means more arousal, lubrication and better orgasms.

4. They can get dirty. No, we aren't talking the kinky kind of dirty; we're talking the "need to be cleaned" kind. Think about where that vibrator has been and then think about the last time you gave it a good wipe down. Sorry if we're grossing you out, it's just the truth, ladies. There is such a thing as sex toy cleaner, but for those of us not looking for high-end help, soap will do just fine. In general, just wet a cloth with warm, soapy water and wipe off your toy (just avoid the battery compartment and control area).

5. They have a shelf life. A nice, expensive vibrator will last you a good, long while—but not forever. The cheaper ones will last for about one year if used semi regularly. And, if a vibe is made with a jelly or rubber, it absolutely must be tossed after one year, no matter how much it cost. Such materials harbor bacteria so keeping them longer than a year is bad news for lady parts. The good news is that more high-end vibrators often come with warranties, so if something breaks (perhaps from overuse?) replacement is possible.

1. Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin has failed at just about everything and still somehow manages to stay relevant. Seriously, what other losing vice-presidential candidates can you name? That said, she has to be doing something right. My Fox News-loving grandpa tells me it's the legs, and I'll take his word for it.

Facebook

2. Paul Ryan

Paul Ryan: Because behind every conservative is a very dark, deviant, pervy side. Look at those eyes, that smug smile, that widow's peak. Dude is probably into some freaky shit.

Paul Ryan

3. John Boehner and Mitt Romney

John Boehner and Mitt Romney count as one person because they have so much in common besides their Republican loyalty. And by "so much in common" I just mean "orange skin." What makes that sexy? C'mon, don't act like Doritos aren't delicious.

CNN / ABC

4. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is the Beyonce of the Supreme Court, and you will deal.

WikiMedia

5. Marco Rubio

Some people think it's not hot if someone's too thirsty. The good thing about Marco Rubio's insatiable thirst, though, is that it makes him a man who will do whatever it takes.

YouTube

6. Joe Biden

Is there any living politico on Earth you'd rather have a beer with than Vice President Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl Joe Biden? He has no filter and no f*cks left to give. And he does things like this constantly.

White House

7. Elizabeth Warren

Whether or not Elizabeth Warren's cheekbones are a result of her alleged Cherokee heritage, they're working as well as her legislation does. Especially considering that haircut.

Elizabeth Warren

8. Rick Santorum

Google or Urban Dictionary "santorum." If that's your thing, well, he's your guy, considering it's basically what comes out of his mouth every time he speaks.

10. Rick Perry

For all you women who are into Christian Grey, consider former Texas Governor Rick Perry your guy, because he's domineering, rich, white and wants total control of your reproductive organs.

Rick Perry

Sarah Palin has failed at just about everything and still somehow manages to stay relevant. Seriously, what other losing vice-presidential candidates can you name? That said, she has to be doing something right. My Fox News-loving grandpa tells me it's the legs, and I'll take his word for it.