Native uncertainty in a perspective-based reality, or a blog in which I get geeky, deep, and ranty, sometimes in rapid succession.

Enduring: Another Bad Day Positive Creation

The title basically spells this one out. Much in the vein of Here’s to You, Humanity, this was a positive thing that I wrote in the wake of a very bad day. Thankfully, not as bad as the first one, which is why it is probably more coherent and a little less florid in language, but a bad day nonetheless.

I had not initially planned on posting this bit so soon after the first one, but what the heck, feeling a little melancholic today, so it seems appropriate.

***

I’ve often been accused of letting people walk over me, of letting people use me. I’ve also been accused of being accursedly stubborn. Confusing, no? The two are not necessarily mutually exclusive, however.

I believe in human kindness. I outright reject the philosophies that every charitable action is taken out of self-interest. A lot of people will agree with me, and just as many will disagree. It’s mostly a matter of life experience, I imagine. I can’t speak to the experiences of anyone but myself, naturally.

All the same, from my personal experience, I would rather people use me than go wanting. Pain is fleeting. Want can be all too final. If I can help a friend, then why wouldn’t I? If I occasionally get abused for it, if it brings the other party a measure of happiness, then so be it. I’ll recover. Who’s to say that the other party might have been ok without my help?

I’m not saying this out of martyrdom. I have no interest in being glorified for this, and less interest in pity. Getting used is one of the most soul-crushing experiences one can have, and is not something I would wish on anyone, much less myself. But if, in the end, the other person ends up in a better place, I will heal. One of humankind’s strongest traits is the ability to endure. I will endure.

I say this not to glorify taking abuse, but rather to say that no matter how much I am abused, I absolutely refuse to let it damage my belief in human kindness. I have had moments of losing that faith, and they hardly improved me as a person. We don’t always treat each other as we should, but that’s because we are far from perfect. We can become better than what we are.

Who we are today is mutable. We are unworked clay, not yet fired, and we need to stay that way. Clay can be molded, mashed, reformed, reshaped, torn, built up, changed. The moment it is fired, it becomes hard, but also brittle. Immutability is a fate that can only lead to shattering. Picking up the pieces of a shattered person is much harder than gluing together a clay pot that decided to meet the ground.

So stay mutable. Be open to change. I myself am constantly changing. I’ve held onto the belief that people can change for the better through most of the changes I’ve gone through, and the moments where change have rid me of the belief in kindness are abhorrent enough to me that I change once more to regain it.

Think. Live. Change. If that change is in the direction of a kinder, more considerate individual, then hey, I certainly won’t object.