Mr. Definitely

What are you to do when you are the producer of a talk show on HBO and you need to schedule a panel of three guests and you already have booked Christopher Hitchens and Salman Rushdie?

You don’t want to run the risk that the episode becomes too wordy or bookish, or -God forbid- too intellectual, so, for counter-balance, you make sure that your third guest is a grade-A moron.

The producers of Bill Maher’s show must have been thinking along these lines when they, in their infinite wisdom, decided to complete the trio with Mos Def.

For all you people unfamiliar with the hauntingly beautiful and hopelessly romantic world of rap music, Mos Def is also known as ‘the intelligent rapper’.

If you have already watched the linked Youtube video you will at this point begin to wonder how feeble and disorderly the minds of the other rappers must be if, by comparison, this impudent piece of trash is considered intelligent.

I will help you out here; yes, most rappers are indeed excruciatingly, phenomenally, Sarah Palinly dumb.

Besides that, they are also inarticulate, vulgar, lewd, shallow and misogynistic to the point that the Taliban starts to look respectable, and the black community is doing itself an enormous disservice by not abjuring these talentless, base and odious clods.

Mos Def ‘aks’ a question which results in a little tussle with Hitchens, who, bless-his-whiskey-sodden-heart, will have none of the show’s politically correct bullshit.

First my mind dwelled on the history and the particulars of the black community in America to explain the behavior of this fractious turd, but then it dawned on me that his attitude is perfectly in line with our pop-culture.

Mr. Definitely simply asserted that his opinion, uninformed and deranged as it was, had just as much value as everyone else’s, simply because he held it.

If there was one thing I could alter in my chosen country of residence it would be that we stop giving credence to an opinion merely because it exists.

PS.

Of course, I would also outlaw Rod Stewart albums and demand a formal apology from the Canadian government for Celine Dion.

The producers of Bill Maher’s show must have been thinking along these lines when they, in their infinite wisdom, decided to complete the trio with Mos Def.

For all you people unfamiliar with the hauntingly beautiful and hopelessly romantic world of rap music, Mos Def is also known as ‘the intelligent rapper’.

I thought that was Ludacris.

Seems to me the producers knew exactly what they were doing. I’ve often seen them put one congenital idiot in the mix just for the entertainment value. Something like Michio Kaku, Fran Liebowitz and Melissa Rivers.

Bad Rabbit - 20 April 2009 02:57 PM

Of course, I would also outlaw Rod Stewart albums…

You’re never letting that “Downtown Train” cover thing go, are you?

He who is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind -Chamfort

Besides, there is a clear pattern of song ruination by way of lame-ass cover making, if we consider that heinous and unholy monstrosity that is Stewart’s cover of Van Morrison’s: Have I told you lately that I loved you?

So, Rod, if the peroxide hasn’t rotted your brain yet and you happen to read this; Have I told you lately that your songs suck ass?

“You know I’m born to lose, and gambling is for fools.
But that’s the way I like it baby, I don’t want to live forever.”

From the autobiography of A.A.Mills, ‘The passage of time, according to an estranged, casual tyrant.’

What are you to do when you are the producer of a talk show on HBO and you need to schedule a panel of three guests and you already have booked Christopher Hitchens and Salman Rushdie?

You don’t want to run the risk that the episode becomes too wordy or bookish, or -God forbid- too intellectual, so, for counter-balance, you make sure that your third guest is a grade-A moron.

The producers of Bill Maher’s show must have been thinking along these lines when they, in their infinite wisdom, decided to complete the trio with Mos Def.

For all you people unfamiliar with the hauntingly beautiful and hopelessly romantic world of rap music, Mos Def is also known as ‘the intelligent rapper’.

If you have already watched the linked Youtube video you will at this point begin to wonder how feeble and disorderly the minds of the other rappers must be if, by comparison, this impudent piece of trash is considered intelligent.

I will help you out here; yes, most rappers are indeed excruciatingly, phenomenally, Sarah Palinly dumb.

Besides that, they are also inarticulate, vulgar, lewd, shallow and misogynistic to the point that the Taliban starts to look respectable, and the black community is doing itself an enormous disservice by not abjuring these talentless, base and odious clods.

Mos Def ‘aks’ a question which results in a little tussle with Hitchens, who, bless-his-whiskey-sodden-heart, will have none of the show’s politically correct bullshit.

First my mind dwelled on the history and the particulars of the black community in America to explain the behavior of this fractious turd, but then it dawned on me that his attitude is perfectly in line with our pop-culture.

Mr. Definitely simply asserted that his opinion, uninformed and deranged as it was, had just as much value as everyone else’s, simply because he held it.

If there was one thing I could alter in my chosen country of residence it would be that we stop giving credence to an opinion merely because it exists.

Coincidently (or not), I saw this Bill Maher show the night it ran live, and thought the same fucking thing as you did BR. In fact, my girlfriend had to hear me bitch all the way into bed that night because I was so pissed off at Maher for the exact reasons you point out. All I wanted after hearing Mos Def was to be mostly deaf. He went on and on, stealing valuable time from both Rushdie and Hitchens and just wouldn’t shut the F up. The amazing thing about this pertinacious dunce — like most cretins — he had no awareness whatsoever of how annoying he was, in fact, he really thought he was Mr. Uber Urbane.

I’ve been a big fan of Maher’s since the 90s — and thought Religulous was brilliant — but in the end, I blame him for putting this laughable troglodyte on with such intellectual giants. Moreover, it isn’t the first time Maher’s wasted good guests and what could have been compelling dialogue while some warthog drooled all over the set. I’ve even wondered if Maher has had a difficult time getting good people to come on his show. Yet that doesn’t explain why, when he does get good guests, they’re squandered on some loser. He once did say (back in his “Politically Incorrect” days) that he had a hard time getting women to come on. However, what he fails to realize is that it’s not a quantity game when you have quality guests and enough discerning firepower for two or three shows already sitting right in front of you.
…Good call BR.

It makes me a little wistful to hear that these are the kind of antics I miss out on because my TV is too old even to receive digital broadcasts, let alone transduce them. Now, if I could just wean myself away from this damn Internet addiction. I watch cable at a friend’s home when I visit, and marvel that one can pay 60 bucks a month for TV and still see 20 minutes of commercials per hour, and just how much bad programming is financed by all that marketing revenue.

Frankly, I blame the broader audience. Present company excluded. Offer not available in all areas.

Jefe - 21 April 2009 11:02 AM

Clearly the rapper was not in a league with Salman Rushdie or Christopher Hitchens.

Further Edit: OK: Watched the youTube clip and simply note that an internet forum would be a much better venue for Mos Def, since the signal-to-noise reduction of his constant interruptions would be eliminated. As far as I can tell, Mos Def is about average for the typical Internet discussant of serious intellectual issues, about on the level of Immediate Suppression.

It makes me a little wistful to hear that these are the kind of antics I miss out on because my TV is too old even to receive digital broadcasts, let alone transduce them. Now, if I could just wean myself away from this damn Internet addiction. I watch cable at a friend’s home when I visit, and marvel that one can pay 60 bucks a month for TV and still see 20 minutes of commercials per hour, and just how much bad programming is financed by all that marketing revenue.

Frankly, I blame the broader audience. Present company excluded. Offer not available in all areas.

Time to catch up Salty. Translation: DVR TV (aka: TIVO). I haven’t (unintentionally) watched a commercial in years, I record what I want, watch it when I want, back it up a few seconds or minutes if I’ve missed a line or a joke, and skip through any and all commercials. One of the best things about it is the ability to watch two to three hours of ‘normal’ TV in 90 minutes or less. I’m the first to say there’s mostly brain-mush on television, but in between the rot you can get fairly decent stuff (e.g., The Daily Show w/ Jon Steward, In Treatment, etc.). Now when I watch TV at friends or family, and they don’t have DVR, my head wants to explode. Trust me, you’ll willingly pay whatever they ask and wonder why you didn’t get this years ago.

Time to catch up Salty. Translation: DVR TV (aka: TIVO). I haven’t (unintentionally) watched a commercial in years, I record what I want, watch it when I want, back it up a few seconds or minutes if I’ve missed a line or a joke, and skip through any and all commercials.

Or you can download all your favorite movies or shows from torrent sites like Mininova or Isohunt.

Fork out $ 125 for a 1 terabyte external hard drive and you can dump the equivalent of 1300 movies on it for your viewing pleasure.

This has the added benefit that you are indirectly undermining the financial well-being of a whole slew of reprehensible celebrities .

“You know I’m born to lose, and gambling is for fools.
But that’s the way I like it baby, I don’t want to live forever.”

From the autobiography of A.A.Mills, ‘The passage of time, according to an estranged, casual tyrant.’

Time to catch up Salty. Translation: DVR TV (aka: TIVO). I haven’t (unintentionally) watched a commercial in years, I record what I want, watch it when I want, back it up a few seconds or minutes if I’ve missed a line or a joke, and skip through any and all commercials.

Or you can download all your favorite movies or shows from torrent sites like Mininova or Isohunt.

Fork out $ 125 for a 1 terabyte external hard drive and you can dump the equivalent of 1300 movies on it for your viewing pleasure.

This has the added benefit that you are indirectly undermining the financial well-being of a whole slew of reprehensible celebrities .

“Have I Told You Lately That I Love You” is NOT a song by psuedo-sophisticated Irish songmeister Morrison (who should have stopped at Brown Eyed Girl) but a great American hillbilly song!

Well, “Have I Told You Lately That I Love You” cannot be performed with any sophistication, pseudo- or otherwise, though I will allow that Van’s cover of “St. James Infirmary” is right up there with Satchmo’s, even if it is somewhat derivative of the original. This gets us back griping about note-for-note covers. Lady Day’s late-career work on “Do Nothing” stands as a monumental instruction on the art of lassitude, which Mose understands equally-well if not equally-smacked. It’s where life imitates art. Or something. It’s not exactly minimalism or parsimony, more like a triumph of timbre over taxonomy.

Mr. Definitely simply asserted that his opinion, uninformed and deranged as it was, had just as much value as everyone else’s, simply because he held it.

Notice which comments from the panel got a positive response from the audience?

Mr. Definitely got all sorts of points for pure arrogance dressed up as defiance. If you want to impress large numbers of people around these parts, you don’t have to do any actual intellectual work, you just have to boldly whine like a two-year-old (obliviousness will be mistaken for boldness by most) when your ignorant ass isn’t taken seriously ... when your ignorant ass is taken as an ignorant ass should be taken.

This is how we put the Ws of our society in the highest orifices in the land.

Byron

- Feeding a troll just gives it a platform and amplifies its voice.

—

Reason is to understanding as theory is to music, and critical thinking as mastery of theory.

“We say, ‘Love your brother.’ We don’t say it really, but… well we don’t literally say it. We don’t really, literally mean it. No, we don’t believe it either. But that message should be clear.”—David St. Hubbins/Nigel Tufnel