Santa Claus: I hate your beard. It makes you look reaaaalllly old. They make hair dye for men ya know. (But I was a very good girl this year even though I'm being a smart aleck today. Just so ya know.)

Santa's Elves:I think you're weird. Seriously weird.President-Elect Barack Obama: Could I have five minutes of your time, please?

Jennifer Aniston (about her recent cover shot for GQ magazine wearing only a tie - beautifully done, I might add): Don't complain and rail one week about the public being fascinated with you if you're gonna take your clothes off the next week and pose for a magazine cover.

John McCain:The man who made the concession speech the night Mr. Obama won the election is the man I wish I'd seen throughout the campaign. Where were you all that time?Well done, sir.

Sarah Palin:You did the best with what you had, but please, stay out of politics. And I apologize for picking on you.

Caroline Kennedy: You have more experience wrapped up in your little pinky by osmosis alone than most people (and cats) collect in a lifetime of nine reincarnations (are you listening, Elizabeth?) Tell 'em all to hush and sail on.

Soon-To-Be-Secretary-Of-State-Hillary-Clinton:You have big shoes to fill. Good thing you brought your "Traveling Pantsuits." Be kind to the sisterhood.

Wall Street:We know what you did.

and finally.....to Christmas retailers:It isn't a sale if you mark it up 300% FIRST!

I laughed out loud at the Jennifer Anistan comment. I can't stand her. But it's like the car manufacturers. They couldn't get us to buy their cars, so they got their bud to give them the money. Jen can't make a movie, can't act, hasn't won any awards, isn't working to better the world.... BUT she can take her clothes off!

Lee - Awwwww....I needed that! A big smooch to you. I'm glad we agree but I imagine there will be conflicting views down the road as I continue this feature. That's perfectly fine! Maybe it will spark discussion and hopefully entertain as well. It's kinda nice to speak my mind.....yep. It is.

One of the saddest things about the John Edwards episode (beyond that he dumped on my personal, and dying, heroine and that it was all so stinking TACKY) is that he was the one who consistently spoke about poverty. I consider myself middle class and I appreciate the attention my plight is receiving, but what about the poor? Because he couldn't keep it in his pants, they lost an articulate, wealthy and well-placed advocate.

Caro went to law school, she's an attorney, she's written books on constitutional law, she's raised millions for Big Apple schools... and she's not qualified to be senator? Why does being a POW make someone eligible to be a senator? I don't see any qualification in that... am I missing something.

There's a funny thing happening here in my state over that vacated Senate seat. Republicans are railing against her, saying that she lacks experience, isn't a politician, only has a famous name, etc. But when asked "OK, then, who the heck would YOU pick for the seat?", the response is usually something like "Duh, um, er, ah, hmm...I'll get back to you!" They can't even pick Giuliani anymore since he imploded during the nomination race.

Good politicians are in short supply, and in this state (and perhaps elsewhere?), good Republican politicians are in even shorter supply...