Hitler is on the road. His car races past a Farm. A pig jumps on the road. The chauffeur cannot stop in time. The pig dies. Hitler orders his chauffeur to go to the farm and tell the farmer. The chauffeur sais to the farmer: "I amm ze drriver of ourr Führrerr! Ze svine iz dead!"

Hitler visits the front and talks to a soldier. Hitler asks: "Pal, when you are in the front line under artillery fire, what do you wish for?" The soldier replies: "That you, my Führer, stand next to me!"

Fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door.
"God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Hamburg the capital of Germany."
"Fred," said his father, "Why do you want Hamburg to be the capital of Germany?"
"Because that's what I wrote in my geography test!"

The Foreigner
Once there was a man that came from Germany to America, He couldnt speak English so he went to choir and learned how to say "Me me me me me me."
Then he went to the store and saw a little girl say "He stole my dolly"
And on his way home he went to get meat from the butcher and learned how to say "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then he went home and watched an air freshener commercial and learned how to say "Plug it in Plug it in."
Then he went to the store and there was a murder the police said "Who killed this man?"
The foreigner said "Me me me me me me me."
The police said "Why did you kill him?"
And the man said "He stole my dolly."
The police man said "What did you kill him with?"
The man said "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then they took him to jail and sentenced him to death.
The police man said "any last words?"
And the foreigner said "Plug it in plug it in."