"For 10 or so years, I literally ran in heels. I worked 18-hour days and never took them off. I wore beautiful shoes, some better made than others, and never complained," Parker told Net-a-Porter’s online magazine. Wow -- guess playing Carrie Bradshaw meant having as much of a fancy shoe habit as the character herself and wasn’t all fabulous dresses, smooching Chris Noth, and looking pensive over a laptop. Sounds like there was some marathon high-heel action going on! Parker has been, like, a NINJA of excruciating footwear.

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While filming I Know How She Does It, SJP traded in her Sex and the City Manolos for the "less expensive" shoes her character, a working mom, would actually wear, and dang if she didn’t twist her ankle. Sigh. Don’t you hate it when you injure yourself while imitating lesser mortals?

Parker realized then that she’d seriously screwed up her feet with her years of high heels. "I went to a foot doctor and he said, 'Your foot does things it shouldn't be able to do. That bone there ... You've created that bone. It doesn't belong there.'" Um, YIKES!

That’s some serious cray-cray. Imagine how much high-heel wearing you’d have to do to create bones in weird places in your feet. It’s like modern-day foot binding! Don’t get me wrong -- I will never give up high heels. I just like to use them judiciously, so as not to grow bones where no bones should be. For example, right now I’m wearing the slippers I changed into after I got home. What was I wearing before that? Uggs. But last Friday night I had a fancy dinner to go to, so I busted out my beloved sparkly Kate Spades and wore them for a several hours of bliss/torture. Moderation, people!

"The moral of the story is, the chickens are coming home to roost," said Parker, who USUALLY looks fabulous on the red carpet, of her mangled tootsies. "It's sad, because my feet took me all over the world, but eventually they were like, 'You know what, we are really tired, can you just stop — and don't put cheap shoes on us?'"

Hmm. I personally think the moral of this story is that I need to go buy some really expensive high heels, because cheap ones obviously twist ankles. Are you with me? Should we buy a lottery ticket first? Also: being Sarah Jessica Parker's pedicurist is not for the faint of heart.