joyland

Revisiting his old ways, Stephen King’s newest novel, Joyland has the heart of that disenchanted college youth you once were and the fun you were bound to have in spite of your looming shortcomings.Joyland is a quick read that ticks you slowly up the top of that rickety rollercoaste

It looks like "Frankenstein's Army" will find itself with a limited theatrical run on July 26th. The film takes place at the end of the second world war when Russian soldiers discover a secret Nazi lab where scientists are using the work of Dr. Viktor Frankenstein to build an army. I can't think of anything funny to say here that doesn't make me sound like a monster.

Every book Stephen King has ever written will be made into a movie including "Joyland", which he hasn't put out yet. Tate Taylor of "The Help" fame will adapt the story which follows a student in 1973 who begins working at a carnival and finds himself wrapped up in the legacy of a murder. It's only a matter of time before we start making movies out of his drunken crossword puzzle mishaps.

I can't think of anything worse right now than a new "Dracula" movie but Sarah Gadon has been cast in one. I don't know who she is but she was on some show called "My Dad the Rock Star" which sounds like the second worst thing.

Rob Zombie says "The Lords Of Salem" will be his last horror flick for a very long time... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Katee Sackhoff, of a bunch of stuff I've never seen fame, has landed a role in a new haunted mirror flick titled "Oculus". Wow, that sentence just happened. She'll play the mother of a girl, played by Karen Gillan, who is dead-set on proving that a haunted mirror is responsible for the murders that left two children without parents. The mirror did it... I don't know what else to say.

Little known fact, I am literate. I know I was just as shocked to find this out as you are. And I may in fact read Stephen King's new book "Joyland" which was just given a June 4, 2013 release date and some snappy cover art. The book will focus on a young lad who goes to work at a carnival over the summer and finds himself wrapped up in the legacy of a murder that happened there. I'm just kidding I have no idea what I'm even typing.

Remember a while back when I said I could read? But it turns out I wasn't kidding. Seriously, I've read all three books in Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan's "Strain" trilogy which focuses on a group of survivors trying to end a vampire outbreak that has taken over the world. So just think of how excited I am now that FX is looking to make a small screen adaptation of the books? I can say crap like, "oh well in the book that was different". People love hearing that kind of stuff, right?

Open Road Films has picked up a new found footage spoof film titled "A Haunted House" from mastermind Marlon Wayans. I know what you're thinking and don't worry, he will also be starring in the film...