Kenneth Knepper: Canadian bacon vacation fails to make dad’s list

Kenneth Knepper

Monday

May 24, 2010 at 12:01 AMMay 24, 2010 at 11:54 PM

It’s vacation time at my house, which signifies two relatively important events — the end of the school year and, more ominously, only a couple of weeks remain before my son has nothing to do and is bored.

It’s vacation time at my house, which signifies two relatively important events — the end of the school year and, more ominously, only a couple of weeks remain before my son has nothing to do and is bored.

This year, however, he plans for us to venture to other states and countries while staying in our travel trailer.

His forward thinking of summer trips actually began a few months ago when his class was studying the various regions of the United States.

Originally, he thought Niagara Falls would make a perfect stop — until I reminded him it would take three days to get there pulling a camper. In addition, I was able to be away from work for only five days.

So he scratched New York from his list and moved to several other quadrants of states.

His latest idea stemmed from studying the southwest region and the Sonoran Desert in Arizona.

“I think it would be great to hike in the desert,” he said.

I tried to explain how deserts are notoriously hot and those in North America probably are even hotter than average during June and July.

Since I’m basically a fair-weather outdoorsman, thanks to an inherited trait from my mother that causes me to sunburn and peel more often than a snake, I launched into some lame excuse about trying to get there in the winter.

Yes. Winter would be much better for hiking in a desert, I explained.

However, he had a backup idea.

“What if we went to Canada instead?” he said.

When I asked if his idea stemmed from watching the Sportsman Channel on cable television, where people catch huge northern pike fish in secluded Canadian settings, he said, “No.”

“I want to try real Canadian bacon in Canada.”

My only experience with Canadian bacon has been in the form of “Canadian-style bacon,” which usually tops my wife’s favorite pizza, along with pineapple chunks and sometimes tastes more like bologna than anything that makes me think about breakfast.

Therefore, I researched the type my son referred to and learned it’s actually known in Canada as “back bacon,” because it’s cut from the muscles along the loin joint, which runs across most of a pig’s back.

I decided it would be difficult explaining more reasons why we wouldn’t be traveling to Canada, either, (i.e. cost) so I also researched other possibilities for this summer.

For starters, a wannabe vacationer should check out as many books and magazines as possible and send off for state tourist information from areas you might find interesting. Since there is a plethora of vacation destination websites, you should search for sites that include your favorite activities.

Once you select a list of places, ask yourself if you’re capable of any challenges and whether finances will allow a trip.

This year’s top 10 list, according to travel giant “Lonely Planet,” includes: