There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ prerequisite, but there's no secret handshake.

Menu

Tag Archives: David Rittenhouse

word

felicitous [fi-lis-i-tuhs] adj.1. well-suited for the occasion, as an action, manner, or expression; apt; appropriate: The chairman’s felicitous anecdote set everyone at ease2. having a special ability for suitable manner or expression, as a person

standpoint

Short and sweet today. Here’s a list of shit I need to stop hearing or reading about. It’s a new section called I’m Tired Of These.

Toyota – The Japanese car company used to be considered the best in the world. But they made a mistake. Ever make one yourself?

Federal Income Taxes – Almost half of our nation’s households don’t pay income tax. It’s been happening for a few years now. You only know about it now because certain political factions want you to. No one was freaking about it when the President was a generic white guy.

Facebook Simpletons – When I was in high school, my mother had my father take me to the family hairdresser and, while we were in route, called the lady and instructed her to ignore my instructions and cut seven inches off every hair on my head. Was I pissed? You betcha. Did I sue my mother? No. Dude, unless your mother is beating you mercilessly, shut the fuck up and deal with the fact you got caught.

Texting While Driving – If you don’t understand why this is dangerous, you should call the authorities to come pick you up and put you on the next plane to Mexico.

Obama Is A Communist – For real? That’s the best you’ve got? It’s okay if you disagree with our President. I’m not saying you’re right or wrong. But if Joe McCarthy was still around, even his drunk ass would come up with more current terminology.

About the only truth out there right now is the national media is lazy. It’s creating (and recreating) your news for you. Find out what’s what for yourself.

quotation

Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. ↔ Miles Franklin

tune

With a recently revamped iPod and a renewed determination to attain my exemplary weight, I’ve started working out again. (In case you’re unaware, two years ago, I tipped the scales at 260 lbs. Nowadays, I find myself in between 210 and 220 lbs. I’m resolute to get down to my original goal of 200 lbs.) And I’m not joining gym, or enlisting in the ranks of the single-minded bicycle enthusiasts. I’m simply going to walk. Hard and fast. And what’s great about that is I don’t need a bunch of redundant fist-pumping music like one’ll find in those inane spinning classes. Any good music will do. Today, I listened to Keep In Mind, Frankenstein by Grand Archives. Here’s “Dig That Crazy Grave.”

gallimaufry

→ Remember all the snow we were having around here a while back? And how everyone was joking, “Hey, Al Gore, what happened to global warming?” Well, morons, one snowy winter hasn’t stopped the effects of what will probably destroy this world before we humans get a shot at it. Don’t believe me? Click here.

Occurrence: 1992 – Tennis legend and Philadelphia native Arthur Ashe announces he’s contracted AIDS from blood transfusions during one of his two heart surgeries. Because I hail from Philadelphia, I’m ashamed to admit that I thought he had contracted AIDS sexually.

Standpoint: So. After I wrote yesterday’s post, I started doing my nightly internet research. While I was flipping through my RSS Reader, I noticed that Glenn Beck was on my TV screen, ranting pretty intensely about Richard Poplawski. He condemned so-called “liberal bloggers” for casting blame on the right-wing portion of our nation and its attitude about gun control. (I was only half-listening, really. A good deal of my attention was being put to use wondering how in the hell the dude ever got a talk show. Why do networks always mistake yelling for charisma?) In any case, he was going on and on about the Constitution, the Bill of Rights and casually alluding to the right to bear arms. Something struck me. Society is kind of fucking nuts. Nowadays, people are nearly hysterical about things like cigarettes, artificial sweeteners and Big Macs. (If you didn’t know, they’re bad for you.) People who smoke too much, use too much artificial sweetener or eat too much fast food are likely to die from some horrible disease. Proven facts. I’m not disputing them. But I’m reasonably confident that people who get shot at, even once, are more likely to die from the bullets hurtling at them. So why are tobacco, artificial sweetener and fast food companies under constant barrage and gun companies less so? It’s simple. The Second Amendment to which Mr. Beck was alluding. It says that we all have the right to own guns. No one ever thought to make a Constitutional Amendment about the right to puff on a Camel Light, pour Equal in coffee or woof down a Whopper. But as a United States citizen, Richard Poplawski was able to gather deadly weapons. The Constitution told him it was OK. I wonder if the loved ones of the fallen Pittsburgh Police officers give a rat’s ass about the Constitution right now. I know I don’t. I don’t think laws are made to be broken. I do, however, think laws should be re-examined after a certain amount of time and held up to our current reality. Gun laws need to be changed. Now.

Quotation: Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the 9mm bullet. – Dave Barry

Tune: Throw Me The Statue is a great band that I’ve had the opportunity to see in concert at least three times but, for various reasons, didn’t. Here’s “About To Walk”. (By the way, Matt Durkin, if you’re reading this, I want my Throw Me The Statue album back, punk. Also, the Elvis Costello album and the David Sedaris book.)

Incoming: Tomorrow – Finally. Your Annoying Sayings responses will be addressed. Friday – My “3 Incredibly Cool Things To Do In Philadelphia This Weekend”. (I know. The title is way too long. I’m working on it.)