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Should Have Seen it Coming: Lena Dunham Voted Yes to Kavanaugh

A quirky peace sign to the Kavanaugh haters

In an upsetting, but at this point certainly not surprising, act of betrayal against women, Lena Dunham joined multiple female senators in voting “Yes” to confirm Brett Kavanaugh as a Supreme Court justice last week.

In an interview last week on Gwenyth Paltrow’s jade egg livestream, Dunham initially expressed hesitation to support the nominee. She said it was important to support women, and claimed that at first she wanted to sympathize so badly with the accusers that she wished she too was sexually assaulted by Brett Kavanaugh. The two feminists then agitated for more women in rural Buddhist peasantry and dusted themselves with metallic bee pollen to ward off the patriarchy.

But after a shot of tumeric and a few Gemini-focused meditations on the phallus, she switched sides. She took last Wednesday as an opportunity to speak on the senate floor in her repurposed "grabbed pussy" costume.

Dunham began with a rousing speech about feminism. “Other girls might be against this guy, but I’m not like other girls. Feminism is whatever I, as a woman, choose to make it, and right now that’s shotgunning an I.P.A. with Mitch McConnell to prove I’m one of the boys.”

Dunham is also currently in talks with HBO about writing a show about four white male Supreme Justices just trying to navigate the big city and deal with the daily shenanigans of work, love, and denying every aspect of one’s past. The calendar for shooting is almost set, but they’ll need to borrow it back from Brett.

It is expected that Dunham will soon apologize for the vote, claiming it’s just part of the “delusional girl persona a Senator often inhabits.”