I would call it beauty

Since getting married my eyes have changed. I look at the woman who I once knew as a passionate young woman and I see my wife, even more passionate and growing in wisdom daily. The way and frequency of looking at other women has shifted from when I always wanted to take with my gaze.

Even the times of day effect how I view the women around me. Especially my wife. When I wake up I see a beautiful lady and then something interesting happens: as the day goes on she changes in appearance. By the end of the day she is not just beautiful but stunning, captivating and often my heart races right before falling asleep.

What happened? Why the change? Did make up help her looks? Was it the clothing she wore or jewelry?

Or was it that over the course of the day I became more connected to her?

You see, beauty isn’t static when it comes to humans. We see something and assess its beauty immediately BUT that assessment changes if our relationship to that something or someone grows. Without even meaning to, our eyes see things differently.

So what happens when we define physical beauty by people we don’t know, have never seen in person?

Everything gets twisted out of shape. We see the cover of a magazine and what our brain does is compare that with the women we know. See our brains don’t have a category for “shot in a studio with a team of make up and hair people then photoshopped” beautiful. We just see something and think that this must be possible in normal daily life – we see it everyday, right?

Unfortunately I don’t have any major solutions that keep Glamour and Cosmopolitan in business. What I will suggest for all my men friends, just don’t look magazines. I used to read tons of magazines but there are so many good books and blogs if you want to read. And when watching a movie like Transformers just remind yourself that the moment the camera turns off a team of people make sure that Megan Fox has perfect hair, eyes, cleavage.

Or even better?

Look for ways to find yourself in fewer situations and places where you need to avert your eyes or constantly remind yourself of the lies you’re being sold. {Example: when you’re able to do so, choose the route through your supermarket/superstore that avoids the magazine aisle.}

Because women are beautiful.
True beauty doesn’t help any of those billionaire CEOs but let us not worry about them for now.
Let us love the beauties that we call our wives, and the ones we work with, and all the ones who need someone to show them what they are worth.
By properly valuing their beauty, by seeing their humanity, and rejecting the inhumanity of the sex marketing machine.