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The Sunday Series (8), with Mark Brodinsky

It’s Sunday on a Thanksgiving Weekend, the perfect time to settle in for a story of inspiration. A story about someone born to do what they do. Someone living their why, their purpose, and in turn changing lives.

The Sunday Series (8): Sandy & The House That Love Built

“There is no doubt I was born to do it. This may sound corny, but literally for most of my adult life I always had this voice in my head, like what is it? I know there is something, what is it? I kept thinking it was when I had my family, my house of children. But still, what is it? What am I supposed to be doing? Then I got this job, and I heard the voice say this is your house of children and since I took this job here I have total clarity of purpose. I no longer have the question, what is it I am supposed to be doing. I found it… or it found me.”

Wow. We are two months into the Sunday Series and the quote above is one of the best answers I have been given so far. It comes from one of the most outstanding women you will ever meet. And I’m not alone in that point of view, she is the best of the best, a Circle of Excellence Inductee into the Top 100 Women of Maryland. You’d be hard pressed to find a more compassionate, dedicated servant to her purpose, the President and CEO of the Ronald McDonald House Charities of Baltimore, Sandy Pagnotti.

Sandy says not only has she found her place, but it’s ironic she is working at a place with McDonald’s in its title, since when she was in college she actually spent three summers packing cups on the McDonald’s Restaurant line at the Maryland Cup Factory. Who knew then that the college co-ed would one day be the leader of a McDonald’s legacy, as part of one of the world’s most respected philanthropic organizations, The Ronald McDonald House.

A quick pause here to explain for some who don’t know about the House and it’s mission. I serve on the Board of Directors for RMH, and I meet people all the time who don’t have a clear idea of what the Ronald McDonald House is all about. First the official explanation, then I will give you Sandy’s, as only she can describe it.

From the website, www.rmhcbaltimore.org: Ronald McDonald House Charities of Baltimore provides a home away from home for seriously ill children and their families, and helps to fund programs in the local area that directly improve the well-being of children.

Now from Sandy: “The way I describe it, it’s the Four Seasons Hotel meets Disney meets grandma’s house. It’s five-star service, a focus on magic and kids and love, warmth and nurturing. Sandy says the experience she wants is for families who are going through one of the toughest experiences of their lives to walk into Ronald McDonald House and feel a huge sense of relief, that they will be catered to and well-cared for, a huge weight lifted off their shoulders and for the kids to walk in and say, “Wow”.

Since the fall of 2010, when Sandy took over as head of the House, (at least half-a-dozen people told her about the job as soon as it became available that summer), she and her team have been laser-focused on living up to the mission. And it’s not an easy mission to accomplish. The families of these children are at the end of their ropes, most of the children are being treated at, or even confined to nearby hospitals as they battle illnesses or deal with life-long disabilities. It’s stressful and overwhelming for the families and their children and it’s the sole purpose for Sandy and her dedicated team to focus and do the best they can to bring what Sandy describes as, “joy to their journey.”

“I get asked all the time, isn’t your job sad?”, says Sandy. “Not if we can help it, it’s not. Some days yes, I am overwhelmed by the tragedy of what can go on here, but I am also overwhelmed by the volunteers and community and support. Some days you can’t get over the generosity and kindness of what people do for us. There are days I leave and sit in my car thinking, people are so good, people are so good.”

Sandy says her favorite part of the job is that the House and staff offer direct service to these families. “I can be sitting in my office and I might hear a family checking in at the front desk, or hear kids talking and laughing. You meet people who come here under the worst of circumstances and you see the resilience of the human spirit and the kindness of strangers. It’s remarkable what the families go through and every day I get to witness the power of what true community is.”

But not all the moments at the Ronald McDonald House lift spirits, some challenge the very depths of your soul.

Brooke and her Mom

Consider Brooke Shockley, a 14-year-old girl who had just been diagnosed with bone cancer when she came to the House. She ended up staying there for 15 months, Sandy and her team were part of her entire journey. Brooke and her mom became part of the family. Cancer got the best of Brooke and when she died it was as Sandy describes it, “devastating”. But the spirit of the House and the care Brooke received from Sandy and her staff brought about redemption.

At the one year anniversary of her passing Brooke’s mom, Brooke’s brother and sister came back to the House and presented Sandy with Brooke’s jersey from the Red Shoe Shuffle, an RMH event for which Brooke had served as honorary chairperson. But there was more. Brooke’s family presented a gift to the entire staff, a Build-a-Bear which when you press the bear’s hand it triggers a voice from inside the bear… it was Brooke’s voice, recorded just before she died, thanking the entire staff at the Ronald McDonald House.

Sandy and her team had served their mission; they couldn’t affect Brooke’s outcome, but they brought such joy to her journey, that even as she knew she was going to die, she felt compelled to say “thank you” and to leave behind her message of hope. It’s moments like these which are at the very soul of the Ronald McDonald House.

And at this moment in time, under Sandy’s stewardship, may be a turning point in the 30+ year history for RMH of Baltimore. The House can only host 36 families a night. Last year, 1,400 families came through the doors, but 600 more had to be turned away. It is something which is tough for the staff, to make the phone call to a family in crisis and tell them there is no room for them to come to this house of hope. But change is in the wind. A search is on in earnest to find a new location for the Ronald McDonald House of Baltimore and allow for expansion to serve more families. As soon as the property can be secured, it’s full steam ahead and the construction of a new future for RMH.

Find what you love to do and make sure what you do enriches the lives of other people. Sandy is living her purpose, living her dream, living her why. “I am manager, marketer, minister, politician, business owner… I can’t believe all these things exist in one job and I think about that every day”, says Sandy. “Honestly, I am the luckiest person in the world to have this job.”

No doubt. But hundreds, if not thousands of other people will take that same statement and turn it around, they are the lucky ones, because they have been touched by someone determined to make a difference in their lives, to bring hope, love and joy to their journey.

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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

Connect with Mark!

WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17September 24, 2013

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné PallaceSeptember 24, 2013

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. RiecksNovember 4, 2013

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109October 23, 2013

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. BogashSeven Valleys, PA

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

PattiMSeptember 25, 2013

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

If you are old enough to remember, you will never forget. If everyone has a story, then on this day, everyone lived a story they will share as long as they are alive. Today we remember and in many respects still search for a way to heal and help others to do the same. I […]

It doesn’t have to happen because of challenges or misfortune. There doesn’t have to be some tragedy or bad stroke of luck to make a dramatic change in your life which inspires others. Some people are simply born with the power of inspiration inside them. In fact, most of us are, we just don’t realize […]