Contributors

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Hey pallies, as promised dudes, we make a second stop at Mr. KR Slade's wonderful waterin' hole, "In The Shadow Of The Oak" for his wonderful write up of Helmer numero duo, our fav, "Murders' Row." Likes if you were with us yesterday you know that we were pumped to share his marvelous mix of prose and pixs for "The Wrecking Crew" and we are just as pleased or perhaps more so to share his inspirational insights on MR.

We noted yesterday that KR is from the British Isles and resides "in the Forest of Dean, close to the England / Wales border." Likes we thinks that livin' in a place tagged "the Forest of Dean" musta specially qualify Mr. Slade to swankly scribe Dino-prose! Likes anyway we can tell that he is totally sold out to our Dino by lovin' literate way that he reports on the plot line of "Murders' Row" and how he has chosen to tag his Dino-devotion, "MATT HELM IS BACK WITH MORE GUNS, MORE GIRLS, MORE DYNAMITE!" indicates his deep delight in our Dino as hipster spyster Matt Helm.

Likes as we mentioned yesterday, what can hardly contain how totally thrilled we are to find yet 'nother pallie who is groovin' on our Dino in these fabulous flicks filmed nearly half a century ago...so is the everlastin' transformin' power of our most beloved Dino.

We 'gain sez our thank you very much to Mr. KR Slade for puttin' his readership onto these Dino-delights and certainly helpin' many more into the Dino-fold! Likes, if you clicks on the tag of these Dino-thoughts you can view this in it's original source. We surely hope that KR will consider reviewin' the other two Helmers as well as many many more of our Dino's big screen efforts. Dino-always, ever, and only, DMP

Some time ago I watched an installment of the Matt Helm series of films based on the books of Donald Hamilton, “The Wrecking Crew”. Today I caught the second movie in the series, “Murderers’ Row”from 1966.

Donald Hamilton – Murderers’ Row

The film was directed by Henry Levin (“Kiss The Girls And Make Them Die”, “The Ambushers”) and was based, however loosely, on Hamilton’s 1962 novel, also titled “Murderers’ Row”.

Following some suitably groovy titles featuring lots of red and pink and pictures of young women – kind of like a swinging sixties James Bond meets Austin Powers sequence – the action starts as Washington D.C. is destroyed by a heliobeam. Then the camera pulls away to reveal that it was a model being destroyed in a demonstration to show how the criminal organisation Bureau of International Government and Order (“Big O”) intends to harness the power of the sun within a matter of days.

After a number of agents are killed in various explosive ways photographer / agent Matt Helm (Dean Martin – “Who Was That Lady?”, “Kiss Me, Stupid”), busy shooting portraits for a calendar meets his fate at the hands of Miss January (Corinne Cole – “The Party”, “The Swinger”) in a bizarre tipping bed / indoor pool incident!

Matt’s Wake

After a wake at Matt’s local bar, which is filled with weeping women wearing black trench coats, hats and fishnets (naturally), we see his boss at ICE, MacDonald (James Gregory – “The Manchurian Candidate”, “The Silencers”), meet the not-so-dead-after-all Matt to discuss the inventor of the heliobeam, one Dr. Norman Solaris (Richard Eastham – “There’s No Business Like Show Business”, “That Darn Cat!”, who has disappeared without trace. Matt’s sent to Monte Carlo to begin investigations under the assumed name Jim Peters, where he is to team up with local contact Dominique.

Ann-Margret

When he arrives she is already dead and he meets Suzie (Ann-Margret – “Tommy”, “The Pleasure Seekers”), a friend of Dominique, by the swimming pool. Suzie says that Dominique is missing.

Dean Martin & Ann-Margret

Before you know it she and Matt are cutting a rug on a nightclub dance floor. Well, it’s more a case of Suzie dancing while Matt wisecracks but it’s certainly a productive use of Ann-Margret’s visual talents(!).

Camilla Sparv

Julian is also in Monte Carlo, with Coco Duquette (Camilla Sparv – “The Trouble With Angels”, “Downhill Racer”). They spot Matt coming out of Dominique’s apartment and send a killer, Ironhead (Tom Reese – “Vanishing Point”, “The Outfit”) after him. But police arrive at the nightclub to inform Suzie that Dominique has been murdered, all hell breaks loose and Matt is arrested for Dominique’s murder, with Julian, Coco and Suzie as witnesses!

Ann-Margret

Despite Julian’s insistence neither Coco or Suzie manage to identify Matt and he is set free. Meeting up later with a babydoll-clad Suzie, Matt discovers that she is Solaris’s daughter and that she is convinced that Coco is responsible for his disappearance.

Tom Reese

Matt falls into the clutches of Julian and Coco and discovers that they do, indeed, have Dr. Solaris. Mistaking Matt for an American gangster Lash Petroni, Julian decides to use him to kill MacDonald and get rid of Suzie too. Matt manages to overpower Ironhead and make his escape but will he be able to save Suzie and her father, not to mention Washington D.C.?

Ann-Margret

Naturally things can’t be that simple, especially with more than half of the film still to go. Matt and Suzie have to survive any number of scenarios involving lots of bluffs and apparent double crosses – and several more costume changes for Ann-Margret – as Julian attempts to see Washington D.C.’s destruction…

Dean Martin

When I wrote about “The Wrecking Crew” I said that it was “a light-hearted spy caper… full of gentle humour, action, hip and swinging 60s music, gadgets, explosions and hot chicks.” That is equally true of “Murderers’ Row”.

There’s plenty of opportunities for Martin to indulge in wisecracks and innuendo and lots of shots of Ann-Margret strutting her stuff with close-up shots of her anatomy, the filmmakers using her sexuality to full advantage, just as was the case with Sharon Tate in the aforementioned installment.

Old fashioned, less than convincing visual effects, sexist etc. etc. Yes, the movie is all of these things, but if you enjoy tongue-in-cheek espionage spoofs from an era when practically all women fell for the hero at first sight it’s also great fun…