Op-Ed: Read this story, then weep for the future of civilization

Are you optimistic about the future of civilization. Stop it. By the time you're done with this story you will join those of us pessimists who pray that the Mayans were right about their 2012 prediction.

We present...

Another reason to weep for our nation.

Yahoo, the web portal that wishes it were Google, has come up with a web app that lets you know what the most popular headlines of the hour happen to be. By demographic.

The results? Depressing.

Let's start with my group. Males, 55 and older. These are the top headlines of the hour, as determined by Yahoo search algorithms.

So, men in their early middle ages like soccer, expensive planes, football weirdness, basketball and bullets.

The ladies?

1. Guess What! The 14-lb. baby wins again!

2. J. Lo grilled on divorce

3. Common myths about head lice (Did you know there were "myths" about head lice? I sure didn't.)

4. The celebrity getting weepy over the sloth

5. Save money on makeup.

So... women in the very late child-bearing years still love that some woman somewhere went through the agony of delivering a 14-lb. baby. They love gossip, stories about head lice (these women may still have kids in school, you know), gossip, and ways to save money while looking fabulous.

We're going for the younger group!

THE MONEY DEMO!

Men 25-34. What do they care about?

1. The stalling super car story.

2. The soccer scorpion kick.

3. Aaron Rodgers griping about the NFC's Pro Bowl effort

4. The Tom Brady Impostor

5. Orlando Magic players have had it up to HERE with the antics of Dwight Howard

4. Man shocked by his photo in an ad. (This is a good one. A chubby guy got $500 to have his photo taken for an ad about diabetes. They photo-shopped out his lower leg and gave him a pair of crutches. They basically turned him into an amputee. The takeaway from this? Read the fine print.)

5. Cute "Puppy Bowl" players.

So, women in the 25-34 group like the fat baby, saving money to look good, celebrity meltdowns, fat guys humiliated by ad agencies, and puppies.