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Warren the Hapless is a middle-aged gentleman living in the city of Quespy on Sha-Ka-Ruq. He makes his living at a tavern, where he tends bar and tells stories of 'the trail of his misfortunes'.

Warren, by his own claims, has led a life very much tied to both good and ill luck. Simply leaving home to get a haircut, for instance, resulted in his getting tangled up in a war, helping to find a priceless golden lute, and ultimately getting banned from the Island of Barathi. (Most tales end with Warren being banished, exiled, or thrown off of a particular Cloud Island).

The locals seem to enjoy his stories, and he gets by comfortably enough. He has lived on the island for some time, so perhaps the bad luck he boasts of is not quite as great as he claims. Then again, perhaps acquiring a few Tzushen has helped to stave it off.