The other night, my son ate white cheddar popcorn and two dates for dinner. Come to think of it, I don’t think his teeth were brushed this morning, either.

As a parent, it is so easy to feel like you aren’t doing enough. As a mom, we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders when it comes to our families. Personally, I have the tendency to feel like I am never good enough, never living up the proverbial expectation, and always just falling short. It doesn’t matter the category in life, I tend to have a less than idealistic view of how I am doing in the race.

Fitting the bill, I used to lay awake in bed
at night, my anxiety running rampant. When
was the last time my son had a bath? Did I forget to give him his vitamins
today? I shouldn’t have let him eat those cookies. My mind would race for
hours on end in this vicious cycle. Many tears were shed at the thought of
letting my son down when I was supposed to be the one lifting him up.

I finally realized, after many sleepless
nights, that I am not a bad mom. And you know what? I’m a pretty good mom. This
pivotal moment in my life came after hitting, what I call, a “mom rock bottom”.
I had so many days of feeling like a terrible mom and it eventually manifested
into a bout of depression. My partner, the father of my son, took notice and
brought this personality change to my attention. This new focus on my mental
health was a change, but it was exactly what I needed at the time.

When I had given birth to my son, everything
was about him. Every second of my day revolved around his happiness and
well-being. For the first time in over a year, I took myself into
consideration. I began taking note of my anxiety and depression triggers and
learned to work around them.

So how did I come to this realization? Let me
tell you – it was not easy. I had to do some serious soul searching and digging
deep within me. After turning to unhealthy habits and becoming unhappy in my
life, I had to completely change my mindset. My son had to become my priority, not this unrealistic notion of perfection. Since I had spent so long
trying to be “supermom”, I also realized that my son was missing out. If
something went wrong, I would shut down and he didn’t get the upbeat, happy mom
he was used to. Once it registered in my head that my child was suffering due
to my impractical actions, everything changed for the better.

Today, I don’t beat myself up for the little
things. It’s the bigger things, like reading books together, singing nursery
rhymes, and cuddling, that are important. Those are the memories that my son
will have when he grows up. Not the fact that he ate popcorn for dinner a few
times. Because of this mindset shift, I have become a better mother and a
better partner.

While I know it is hard to feel like you aredoing well by your children, trust me, mama: you are. As long as you areproviding the affection your children need and basic necessities required tosurvive, you are doing great. Moms tend to carry the load of the world on theirshoulders, without question. If you are feeling down, reach out. Talk to yourpartner, a trusted friend, or a professional. Getting my feelings out andtalking about it helped me tremendously, and it will help you, too.

Halle is the mama to a rambunctious little boy and a freelance writer by trade. Between playground trips, making green smoothies, and whipping up personal finance articles, Halle runs a mommy blog, Upbeat Motherhood. There, she writes about motherhood, raising healthy kids, self care, side hustles, money management, and having a positive outlook on life. Visit her blog today at www.upbeatmotherhood.com