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Deep in the Heart

OR: “Six Weeks in Texas and the World’s my Oyster!” (sung to the tune of the Murray Head song)

40-something days in, some thoughts on this island Austin:

Like any big city, this place has its drawbacks. Playing ‘Hipster, Hippie, or Hobo’ is especially difficult to do in the ATX ’cause there are tons of each everywhere you look (see, they all have beards, vintage coats, and dead eyes, so the trick to guessing correctly is identifying their varying bad smells). The thing with the homeless folks here is that, because there are so many, a lot of ’em try to stand out. I’ve seen a dude juggle for change, another do stand-up on an unplugged mic, and an old timer with classic movie trivia on his signs.

Warnings from the locals about “the allergies here” and “the bugs here” and “the humidity here” have been greatly exaggerated. Sorry, Austinites, but none of the three compare to the pollen and critter-filled swamp that is my former home, the Sunshine State. And “the traffic here,” while crappy, is nothing to this former Angelino. I will say, though, that Texas motorists are far nicer than those in Cali and Florida. You’re reminded when you enter the state to follow suit and drive “the Texas way”… then they tell you it’s cool to punch it!

While Austin’s monumentally different than the rest of the Lone Star State, you are still constantly reminded that it’s surrounded by the Republic of Texas. The state’s outline and star shapes are slapped on everything, from boots to building sides. Also, stuff really is bigger here. I mean, the capitol building is taller than the nation’s capitol (yeah, it’s deliberate). None of that’s necessarily a bad thing, it’s just odd to see so much state pride. I come from Florida, America’s wang and political punchline, where every day is Sinkhole de Mayo.

Point is, I truly am a fan of this happening, wacky Bat City. Its many positives far outweigh a few nitpicky negatives. The food here is outstanding. The Tex-Mex, as one would expect in Tex, is amazing, and there’s no shortage of great burger joints, but that’s not the kind of cow this area’s famous for. Barbeque beef brisket is a religion in these parts, and once you try it, you realize why. On top of that, the amount of cool shit going on at all times is overwhelming. Music and film festivals, awesome Drafthouse screenings and premieres, and kick-ass events like MondoCon and Evil Dead: The Musical are the norm. It’s my kind of town. It’s where I’m supposed to be.