I'm So Excited is the 1982 single from thePointer Sisters. Although it dates to 1982, it's style has a lot in common with the 1970s disco sounds, the covers of which have formed a bit of a theme over the past few days here at AllBum.Art. But Oh, what a dull, dull, dull (did someone say dull) cover. It has yellow. It has blue. It has some words. It does not have any evidence of The Pointer Sisters. It does not show any propensity for excitement. It is a cover for the sake of covers, to protect the inwardly protected single from dust. To protect the grooves on the vinyl from the ingress of dirt. To stop the single getting mucky.

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But getting mucky is what a song such as I'm So Excited screams out for on it's cover. What it needs is sisters (in the widest sense of the word, rather than necessarily the clinical one) who are not just excited, but just can't hide it. They need to be about to lose control, and they need to think they like it. The girl in the centre of this remixed cover fits that description to a penny. The look on her face says more than the song needs to. It has blue, yes. It has some words, yes. It shows some sisters, oh yes. It shows a propensity for immediate excitement, definitely. As for protecting the grooves, it does that too. A clear and unequivocal improvement, darn tootin'.

Another of those funky disco bands from the 1970s, the Average White Band really hit the pits when all they could come up with for the name of an album was AWB. And the cover of the album is even less inventive. It just comprises the name of the band, together with their logo. One thing of merit, if anything, is that their logo replaces the letter 'W' with what is obviously meant to be the curvy rear view of a naked lady. Unfortunately, the lady has her back turned so that we cannot see any more of her. That, and the fact that the lady in question has been drawn with a pencil makes the whole thing very lacking in anything but pit hit shit.

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How simple it is to remix the album art and return it to the kind of glory that should have shone through in the first place. All that is required is the re-addition of the original female using photographic reproduction rather than a pencil drawing done by a drunken Canadian teenager. As this remixed cover shows, the lady in question fits perfectly within the curves of the 'W' and although her back is still turned, and she is facing away from the camera, the sense of sexiness is massively enhanced from the original. Now AWB no longer stands for Average White Band, but shouts 'Ass With Bumnificence' or maybe just 'AWsome Bum'.

Those halcyon disco days of the 1970s provide an almost inexhaustible supply of single covers that verge on the sexy but don't quite make it. This cover from Baccara's 1976 single Yes Sir, I Can Boogie shows the two singers from the band standing next to each other. In true doesn't-quite-make-it fashion, they are wearing relatively skimpy matching black and white dresses which fall down over their bodies in just the wrong way to allow any of the underlying shape to be seen. A secondary failure of this cover is that they are not boogying but just standing around looking almost sexy. A poor attempt that could have been sexified with just a little of extra thought, and a little less material.

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The remixed cover deals with some of these failures. Gone are the two original 70's honeys, replaced by two alternative ladies from roughly the same era whose idea of dancewear, whilst remaining largely monochrome, is rather different in it's make-up (as is their make-up too). Overall, the amount of material in their outfits is probably not a lot different, but it is shaped and placed in such a way as to reveal the underlying shape of the wearer. And it seems as if the girl on the right is having trouble as the girl on the left appears to be having to hold her dress in place. Surely Sir could do that for them, in return for a boogie?

Another cover taken from the time when Ms Ciccone was publicly into getting naughty. This is the cover from Madonna's 1992 album Erotica which was published alongside a book called Sex. The book contained many photos of Ms Ciccone in many states of dress and undress. The album cover on the other hand, does not. That being said, the fact that the cover of the album only shows the facial features of Ms Ciccone is not conclusive evidence that she is wearing clothes, but neither is it a dead cert that she is. The pictures in the book left no such question unanswered and included a picture of Ms Ciccone hitch-hiking naked on a busy city street.

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It only seems right that the remixed version of this cover should replay this particular photograph from Ms Ciccone's book Sex. And here she is, standing at the edge of a road, wearing nothing but a pair of heels (and a handbag) and sticking her thumb out to request some passing motorist to give her a lift. The concept of naked hitch-hiking is not unique to Ms Ciccone. It has been said that it is by far one of the best ways to ensure that a girl gets the lift that she desires. It has been known to cause problems though, both by distracting drivers who drive past, as well as causing extreme distraction to the driver who eventually gives the girl a lift. So shame on you Ms Ciccone for promoting such potentially dangerous activities.

We're goin' to the chapel and we're, gonna get ma-a-a-ried. Is that so? Well in 1964 that's what The Dixie Cups were singing in their song Chapel Of Love. Here at AllBum.Art it's true to say that there have been quite a few songs about weddings that have featured as cover art remixes, and this one will add to that collection. In the original cover we see what exactly? Some cups (Dixie ones perhaps) and what appear to be miniature mannequins of a bride and groom, the kind that normally sit on top of a wedding cake. All things considered, not that bad as covers go as it features cups and a wedding theme. But that doesn't mean it can't be improved upon.

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What was missing from the original cover has been included in this remixed version. Gone are the paper cups and in their place, three ladies. One of them is meant to be a bride and the other two her bridesmaids. Are they goin' to a chapel? No, they are in a hotel by the looks of things. Are they goin' to get ma-a-a-ried? Well if they did that would make them both lesbians (as they are all girls) and bigamists (as there are more than two of them). That being said, they do appear to be very friendly, perhaps more friendly than just the bride/bridesmaid relationship might suggest. Maybe they are in New York to take advantage of that state's liberal laws on these things. Anyone fancy joining them?

One of those 1960s songs that seems to have stood the test of time, My Boy Lollipop sees the sickly sweet voice of Millie singing lots of lyrics that revolve around glucose based confectionary. The cover of the single, on the other hand, does not offer us any insight into this world of candy-coated love. Instead we see Millie herself against a blue background. The choice of blue is odd, as it's probably one of the least common colors for candy and being an upbeat, happy-go-pappy kind of song the connection of the color blue with its regular connotation of melancholy does nothing to lift this rather sour, dour cover out of the blues.

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In the remixed cover, many of the problems of the earlier cover have been fixed. There is one minor point, and that is that Millie has been replaced by an alternative lady, but given the alternative lady's state of dress (or undress) it is unlikely that this would cause too many complaints. What is great about the remixed cover is that the new cover-girl is sucking on a lollipop. And not just any lollipop but a bright red one. Maybe strawberry flavored, or raspberry, or cranberry or redcurrent. What the flavor is matters little, but the dash of red inflames the senses and cheers up this otherwise dull blue cover, revealing much more of the sugary, giddy-up nature of the song itself. In fact it's much more revealing in many ways.

An American classic from Pat Benetar, Love Is A Battlefield is one of those songs that's timeless. Or at least if you use airplay to define what's timeless, then this is on the list as it's still played on the radio like there's no tomorrow. Anyhow, the cover of the single shows Ms Benetar in a rather odd pose. Perhaps this is meant to be her attempt to show what a love-based battlefield looks like. The fact is that you can't see what else is going on either behind, below, or in front of Ms Benetar and it's difficult to imagine what this might be from the scant information provided by the cover. Is she, for example, mid-punch against some floozie that she has taken a dislike to, or maybe she's just been punched herself. The mind boggles. The cover doesn't.

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So that there can be no confusion, in the remixed cover, Ms Benetar has been replaced by two floozies who look very much like they are in the mood to battle it out for love. The battlefield in this case is a boxing ring, and the two floozies have their gloves on and are facing off ready for a punch up. In the red corner is a redhead who, for the sake of argument we shall call 'Paula'. In the blue corner we have a blonde who, for the sake of argument we shall call 'Britney'. Let the argument commence, and the battle ensue. The things we do for love! Oh, wait, that's a different song isn't it.

Na nah na nah nah, doo-doo, doo-doot. Na nah na nah nah, doo-doo, doo-doot. Yes, it's a Whole Lotta Love according to this 1970 single from Led Zeppelin. But oh, what a dismal cover for the single they have. And what on Earth is all this No.1 Super Group nonsense? Talk about talking yourself up. There are many artists who could claim super-group status. Are Led Zeppelin one of them? Well not if the lack of inventiveness in this cover is anything to go by. A picture of the band, and not even a very good picture at that. On a white background. With the whole super-band thing sprawled across the front. And a title in red. Marks out of 10? 1. Perhaps that's what the No.1 refers to in their self proclaimed excellence.

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Now this is more like it. There is unquestionably a whole lot of love going on here. Or at least there will be once any passing male gets their hands on one (or more) of these lovely ladies. These girls definitely deserve a super-group badge but are modest enough to cover that up. If you don't like women who are ample in the bosom department, then perhaps they are not your idea of a whole lot of love, but there is no way to deny that there is a whole lot of bosom and that for those who would like to get their hands on them, that would translate into literally tons of love. Literally tons of weight. Literally tons of fun. Na nah na nah nah, doo-doo, doo-doot.

Is he or isn't he? He certainly was originally. Later, perhaps he wasn't. The question of whether Michael Jackson was Black Or White was a regular discussion in many bars across the nation, at least it was when anyone could give a damn. In this song, Mr Jackson says that it doesn't matter whether you are black or white. But what if you're neither of these? What about yellow, pink or brown. Or if you are from Alpha Centuri and are green, then what? Or silver? Mr Jackson probably meant to say that it really doesn't matter what color you are, you will still look like a complete idiot trying to do the moonwalk.

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What the original cover for this 1991 single provides is any true test as to whether it matters or not whether you, or anyone else for that matter, is black or white. The remixed cover allows you to take this decision for yourself. Mr Jackson's spooky eyebrows have been replaced by a black girl, and a white girl, in a close embrace. It is down to you to decide whether it matters what color you are, or they are, or green aliens from Alpha Centuri are. But from the looks of the two girls, either will do just fine and there can be no doubt that either of them are a damn sight better at letting you make a decision on color than Mr Jackson is.

Rihanna is another one who is asking for it. No, not that. But to have her covers remixed. That said, this single from 2010 marked a strong departure from her earlier tracks in that it is less dark and sexualized. Only Girl (In The World) has Ms Fenty singing about how she wants to be made to feel like the only girl in the world. It might not appear it from its upbeat sound, but the song is actually about nuclear holocaust and how, afterwards, only Ms Fenty would survive. This is because of her red hair and her ability to stand in a field full of corn with her red dress being held to cover her boobs instead of actually wearing it.

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In this remix (which would have contravened the 'tits and bums only' policy if it hadn't been for a careful application of blur) Ms Fenty has been replaced by another redhead, who is also standing in a field. Her replacement looks a lot like 80's pop princess Tiffany. Like Ms Fenty, she has also learnt that by carrying her dress in her hands instead of wearing it, together with having died red hair, the effects of the nuclear weapons are nullified. She is also, the only girl in the world and... oops... there are two of them now. It might be better to change the title to Only Girls (In The World) but that would defeat the nuclear resistant message of the song. Maybe Tiffany's song I Think We're Alone Now referred directly to this situation.