Tag Archives: jolt

Search terms are my favorite part of blogging stats. Seems there are all sorts of crazies out there keywording their little fingers to the bone to find out more about subjects like tampons and hairy backs. Lucky for me I post about such absurdities.

In the past I have linked back to all the previous search term posts. Quite frankly I think that was a waste of time so that practice is now over.

So, dive right in my friends, and discover the crazy keywords that landed on I Could Cry this month. As always I give a little commentary and link back to the original post that I think was found.

i need a jolt so do I most of the time. But I will advise against that Jolt gum featured in this post. I chewed a couple of pieces on day and was hanging of the ceiling (not in a good way)

i made you a poop this big What a lovely gift. and you were so very proud of yourself. what makes someone use this as a search term? Never mind, I don’t want the answer to that one.

boob pop out fight I get this phrase almost every week. Further proof that everyone does love a girl fight (yeesh!)

i got a call from satan 666-6666. Yeh, well if you got a call from Satan and you are using an internet search to find out what it is all about I am thinking you are really screwed.

mom command center Are there more moms out there with command centers? I would suppose so.

box of shut the hell up Oh my, I totally forgot about this post. Remember kids, when someone pisses you off, just ask them if they would like a big box of shut the hell up. Very cathartic indeed.

cancel colon medic Believe it our not I have had countless people comment on this post asking me to cancel their order. They have included names and addresses and have been might mad saying that this place keeps recharging their credit cards for reorders they did not authorize. Oh my!

toungue (yes there was a typo). Can’t say this is not a diverse blog. It takes you from the tongue to the tush and back.

And there you have it. Another month of fun and games brought to you by I Could Cry But I Don’t Have Time.

I am one of those people that has a pack of gum on their desk and during the course of the day will chew the entire thing while I am working. It is some kind of OCD rabid chewing habit that one can only hone when working by themselves in the basement. It’s sort of anti-social to be snapping and popping away all day when someone shares your workspace. The dog? She could not care less.

So here’s the thing. This Jolt gum? If you read the fine print on the bottom left of the package you will find out that 2 pieces of this stuff is equal to 1 energy drink. Yeh, so that would mean that the whole pack would be equal to a pot of coffee or maybe letting the air out of a balloon and buzzing around the ceiling! I suppose that would be why their tagline would be: “Chew More, Do More”. I love their disclaimer on the website. “GumRunners, LLC supports responsible chewing. Please chew responsibly. Or responsively. Or both.” Sounds like these guys have chewed quite a bit themselves.

Don’t worry, I did not eat all 12 pieces at once. But maybe 4. And let me tell you, this is not recommended for someone with high blood pressure and an irregular heartbeat. Um, yes I would be raising my hand for those last two ailments. Note to self: switch back to Orbit.

I will, however, praise the makers of Jolt gum for supporting the USA National Team, even if they do humiliate that poor swimmer by photographing him with that ridiculous bonnet-like bathing cap on his head. Don’t you think the strings on this sucker are hideously long? But they do give 5 cents from the sale of every pack to the team and all kidding aside that makes me love this brand. They also support the military. No joke. They sent 25,000 free packs of gum overseas to our troops.

Honestly, there is nothing I love more than a brand with a sense of humor and cause-related programs. My two favorites. Kudos to you Jolt-peeps for bringing the buzz out of the cola into this chewy delight! Hey, do you make a decaf version?