Hmm. The first one I got was #9, which reads, "RAHM EMANUEL TELLS PEOPLE TO FUCK OFF BY SHOWING THEM THE SPACE WHERE HIS RIGHT MIDDLE FINGER USED TO BE."

The quote from Times of London in support of this fact doesn't seem to really work all that well as proof: When he lost the middle finger of his right hand in an accident as a teenager he said: "Of all the fingers to lose! I had to learn to talk with my left hand."

Am I missing something? This seems to say that he tells them to fuck off by using his left hand...posted by Saxon Kane at 3:36 PM on March 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

All I can think of at the moment is that this site makes Rahm out to be arealdick.posted by zer0render at 3:40 PM on March 28, 2010

"I can just imagine the howls of righteous indignation and shouts of "Oh my, what a scary psycho freak!" on the blue if Rahm were a Republican."

Honestly, have you looked at the Republican party recently? There's a lot of scary psycho freaks over there.posted by mhoye at 3:40 PM on March 28, 2010 [5 favorites]

ZenMasterThis: I don't know about that. Most of these are pretty bland, indicating that RE is a bit of a dick (which we already knew), but I have yet to see one like "Rahm Emanuel shot someone in the face and then got the victim to apologize to him" or "Rahm Emanuel bugged his own office and blamed it on his political opponents."

And I am NOT a Rahm fan, by any stretch of the imagination. He's a Clinton-conservative, and we don't need them.posted by Saxon Kane at 3:41 PM on March 28, 2010 [12 favorites]

Having worked as an intern at the House Democratic Caucus, I can tell you that Rahm definitely does assume you know it's him calling. That man's phone number is seared into my brain.posted by awesomebrad at 3:42 PM on March 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

The real question is whether Rahm could win at Russian Roulette with a fully-loaded gun.

I can just imagine the howls of righteous indignation and shouts of "Oh my, what a scary psycho freak!" on the blue if Rahm were a Republican.

Here's the thing: while the concept is kind of funny, I don't see a single one of these that isn't either widely known (the steak knife story, the fish story) or painfully predictable (Rahm told Tony Blair not to fuck something up? He sometimes uses Yiddish expressions? He used a political stunt to make fun of Dick Cheney?) I get it: it's fun to speculate on the eccentricities of political operatives.posted by l33tpolicywonk at 3:54 PM on March 28, 2010

So Rahm hasn't got a problem with showing emotion. Oh, Dear Oh, Dear. He's demanding. Oh, no. Oh, no. What does this have to do with anything? I'm glad he's on my side (more often than not); I don't want to be on Rove's side, he makes roses stink.posted by Some1 at 3:56 PM on March 28, 2010

a real dick

Having grown up there, I'd say more like a typical Chicago politician, in the ball-breaking sense. Chicagoans generally don't put up with a lot of crap; remember, we're talking about some strong immigrant stock there. So we like our politicians that way.

Case in point: when my friend was a young kid helping his dad* build a garage in the backyard. His dad accidentally nailgunned himself through the palm of his hand with a non-safety-equipped older nailgun. The nail didn't get too far into the wood, so he looked at his hand, calmly asked his son for a clawhammer, and pulled it out (of the wood and his hand.) He held his hand up, looked at it, said "dammit" and then (since it was a puncture wound and not bleeding badly) finished up the board he was working on before going in the house to rinse it off. Never sought medical attention, and luckily didn't get infected.

follow-up: this man provided the first good whiskey I'd ever had, when I was in high schoolposted by davejay at 3:58 PM on March 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

This website is desperately, desperately trying to make a meme and monetize this.posted by dunkadunc at 3:58 PM on March 28, 2010 [4 favorites]

Can this be the thread where we make fun of Conservative Woodstock? Because I don't really feel like making that post, as there's not enough happening yet to warrant it.

Also, this just makes it clear that Rahm Emmanuel is a pretty cool guy, eh. Working to pass the healthcare bill and doesn't afraid of anything. No wonder the Republicans hate him.posted by mccarty.tim at 3:58 PM on March 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

...and worse, still, he was major help in getting Obama to be in WH and to pass health care for 30 million without.posted by Postroad at 3:59 PM on March 28, 2010

This would seem a perfectly fine thread for mocking conservative Woodstock - look, someones even started!posted by Artw at 4:03 PM on March 28, 2010

I like the Dick Cheney one a lot, seems like he's just following the guy's declaration that he's not part of the executive branch to it's logical conclusion.posted by Artw at 4:04 PM on March 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

... young Rham Emmanuel..., this is my tribute to thee ...posted by Auden at 4:08 PM on March 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

(how hard is it to spell Rahm correctly?)posted by Auden at 4:10 PM on March 28, 2010

RAHM EMANUEL DRESSED ALL SHLUMPERDIK AT THE KENNEDY CENTER AND STILL GOT TO MEET THE DANCERS BACKSTAGE*posted by djb at 4:17 PM on March 28, 2010

RAHM EMANUEL BRAWLED WITH HIS BROTHERS OVER WHETHER "DEER HUNTER" IS A GOOD MOVIE

Oh, so they're just like my Irish uncles, except with college degrees and successful careers.posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:18 PM on March 28, 2010 [5 favorites]

Pretty sure Rahm Emanuel would only shoot someone in the face deliberately.posted by Artw at 4:19 PM on March 28, 2010 [11 favorites]

Pretty sure Rahm Emanuel would only shoot someone in the face deliberately.

Ohhhh. So they're NOT like my Irish uncles in that regard.posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:22 PM on March 28, 2010

Next on Hardball with Chris Matthews: Is Rahm Emanual inciting violence against Republicans?posted by republican at 4:25 PM on March 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

My former Congressman, my former neighbor. No one else I would'nt want standing behind me in a bar fight, or looking out for my interests elsewhere. One of the smartest people on the planet. And I am just smart enough to know I never want to get on his bad side.posted by timsteil at 4:29 PM on March 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

I understand why many progressives dislike Emanuel, but from everything I read it seems that he is at lest honest and will tell you straight to your face what he thinks rather than pretend he is something he is not. That seems pretty rare in national politics.posted by edgeways at 4:49 PM on March 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

The real question is whether Rahm could win at Russian Roulette with a fully-loaded gun.

I think that depends entirely on how you define the Win() function over the set {Rahm, Russian Roulette}.posted by b1tr0t at 5:26 PM on March 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

The only interesting fact about Rahm is that his brother is Ari Emanuel, the gentleman upon whom Jeremy Piven's character in the HBO series Entourage, Ari Gold, is based.

And Obama's favorite show is Entourage. I think that's why he picked him.

Their dad is interesting, too, but alas, has been BALEETED.posted by _aa_ at 5:32 PM on March 28, 2010

On the 60 Minutes (think that was it) he clearly would preen at any of those quips. And his Harvard Med Prof brother would make vastly more wicked jokes about him. There was a joke plaque on his desk (in the back) that needed a word fuzzed out for TV.posted by sammyo at 5:46 PM on March 28, 2010

I always thought it was The Wire, or at least that's what he's said a few times. If it has been supplanted by Entourage, well, then my respect for the man just went way, way down.posted by Saxon Kane at 6:17 PM on March 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

Dick Cheney shot an elderly man in the face, and the elderly man apologized to Cheney.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 4:16 PM on March 28

That is real power. That is the sign of someone who is capable of doing so much not only to hurt you, but potentially also to help you, that you don't want anything, even their mistake, to hurt your relationship. Someone yelling or swearing is a fucking asshole with no power. Dickheads like Emanuel exploit the civility and decorum of their opponents and intimidate them. There's a petty tyrant like this in every corporation and law firm in the country. If he was actually as smart as you say, he'd never have to resort to tactics like this to get his way.

"My former Congressman, my former neighbor. No one else I would'nt want standing behind me in a bar fight, or looking out for my interests elsewhere. One of the smartest people on the planet. And I am just smart enough to know I never want to get on his bad side."

I find it pathetic that this sentiment is so prevalent in this thread. What are you afraid of, getting a dead fish in the mail? He might yell at you? Heaven forbid. It's pathitice that so many people are impressed with this ghetto chest beating.

If some motherfucker sent me a dead fish in the mail, I'd send him a photo of me standing over the beds of his sleeping wife and children. You want to play tough guy games? I'll turn your life into Lost Highway.

Fighting Emanuel is easy. Just yell louder and fight dirtier. But fighting Cheney is like fighting the laws of physics. Just ask Nancy Pelosi. She's the most powerful woman in America today, but when Cheney was second in command she couldn't so much as get her parking validated.posted by Pastabagel at 6:18 PM on March 28, 2010 [16 favorites]

That really makes it sound like he severed his finger and then went swimming. The truth is more like: "Before seeking medical attention for a cut on his finger, Rahm Emanuel went swimming; the cut became infected and doctors had to amputate part of the finger."

Our boys are 2 and 4 and always seem to be pushing the limits. They take each others’ toys, throw things around and open closets I’ve specifically told them not to, all the while grinning cheekily at me. What should I do?

PERPLEXED IN SEATTLE

Dear Perplexed,

This boundary pushing is perfectly normal. Kids, and especially boys, are always testing the borders. You just have to set and reinforce reasonable rules and make clear what penalties they’ll suffer for transgression. As I tell my kids, “I can cut off your access. I can cut off your b—s. I made you and I can break you, so don’t make me f— you up.”

Dickheads like Emanuel exploit the civility and decorum of their opponents and intimidate them. There's a petty tyrant like this in every corporation and law firm in the country.
These types always amuse me. If they were outside of their sphere of influence (a biker bar, etc.), their behavior would get them hurt. The Rahm Emmanuels and Dick Cheneys of the world deserve to have their asses beat at some point in their life to wipe the tough guy schick off their faces.posted by SouthCNorthNY at 7:20 PM on March 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

Fact: Rahm Emanuel went to Sarah Lawrence for ballet.posted by Suparnova at 7:43 PM on March 28, 2010

Dickheads like Emanuel exploit the civility and decorum of their opponents and intimidate them. There's a petty tyrant like this in every corporation and law firm in the country.

No. Not at all. No you have the facts wrong. No, the very basis of what you say is wrong. No, you have no facts to even begin to assert what you casually assert as truth.

So, really, this is true? So why are idiots attacking Dem congressmen and women? Why are they going after them? Please explain why this is true?

I am sorry that you do not like the fact that we reached out to the other side and said, ok, what do you really have to say about this and where is the middle point of the conversation and the other side just backed off like idiots.

Its called getting called out on shit, and uh, get used to it. Because one side has lied and one side has told the truth since 2000. Whatever the alleged results of the election since then, you've acted like you stold that election for years, hell you've banked on it. Sorry if that gigantic karma bus ran your ass over after that, but christ, what exactly did you expect? The last question mark was ironic.

This is just the beginning. Currently the GOP is playing right into the plan for its destruction. Like permanent loss of electorate support. Read David Frum. He understands the facts as presented.posted by Ironmouth at 7:49 PM on March 28, 2010

I'd always heard Obama claim his favorite show was The Wire.

Speaking of Entourage, Obama's would shake out like this. Gibbs=Eric, Rahm=Johnny Drama, and Joe Biden is Turtle.posted by billyfleetwood at 7:50 PM on March 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

If they were outside of their sphere of influence (a biker bar, etc.), their behavior would get them hurt. The Rahm Emmanuels and Dick Cheneys of the world deserve to have their asses beat at some point in their life to wipe the tough guy schick off their faces.

Since the inherent silliness of that statement didn't occur to you when you were writing it, flip it around and imagine the legal hell that would descend on a "tough guy" biker who threw so much as a single punch at either of those guys if he was outside his "sphere of influence."posted by Cyrano at 7:51 PM on March 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

PS: Joe Biden is Drama and Rahm is Eric.posted by special-k at 7:59 PM on March 28, 2010

If some motherfucker sent me a dead fish in the mail, I'd send him a photo of me standing over the beds of his sleeping wife and children. You want to play tough guy games? I'll turn your life into Lost Highway.

If Rahm Emanuel sent me a dead fish, I really wouldn't understand what was going on, because I'm not an American and don't really follow politics, but I'd show the fish to my daughter anyway and tell her that it's a Sicilian message sent by an American who I think might be Jewish but I can't remember, and it means that Fedex sleeps with the fishes. And then I'd take a picture of her next to the fish looking confused, because she's not old enough to understand words but is totally adorable anyway, and then i'd send that picture back to Rahm saying that he probably didn't mean to send us the fish, but I hope this cute picture makes him feel better.

I haven't seen "lost highway", so I don't know what that means.posted by mhoye at 8:44 PM on March 28, 2010 [9 favorites]

breaking news: arby's is sponsoring a d.c. showing of rahmbo: first bloodposted by the aloha at 8:45 PM on March 28, 2010 [3 favorites]

If Rahm Emanuel sent me a dead fish, I'd eat that shit.posted by BoatMeme at 8:59 PM on March 28, 2010

After coming in third in a cupcake bake-off, Rahm Emanuel bit his own head off and nonchalantly chewed it up like so much wrigleys spearmint.posted by fleetmouse at 9:02 PM on March 28, 2010 [2 favorites]

Also, this just makes it clear that Rahm Emmanuel is a pretty cool guy, eh. Working to pass the healthcare bill and doesn't afraid of anything. No wonder the Republicans hate him.

Wait...which of the Chuck Norris facts were untrue?posted by uosuaq at 9:05 PM on March 28, 2010

Rahm's "public persona" comes across like Malcolm Tucker from the British T.V. show "The thick of it". But really, the inexplicable appreciation for this guy from liberals is rather grating. He isn't someone who's fighting for "Democratic ideals", rather he's working his ass off to cut deals with republicans and kiss their asses. For example Working with Lindsay grahm to prevent civilian trials for terrorists, and keep some of them detained indefinitely. You can find lots of examples of this B.S.posted by delmoi at 9:27 PM on March 28, 2010 [4 favorites]

If some motherfucker sent me a dead fish in the mail, I'd send him a photo of me standing over the beds of his sleeping wife and children.

Yes. This is not a statement which sounds like it is coming from someone with a stack of Solider of Fortune back issues with the pages stuck together.posted by griphus at 9:37 PM on March 28, 2010 [7 favorites]

Can this be the thread where we make fun of Conservative Woodstock?

Honest to god, I thought this would link to a series of Peanuts comics rewritten so that Woodstock's meaningless "|\||/\||" speech was replaced with right-wing talking point non-sequiturs.

"If some motherfucker sent me a dead fish in the mail, I'd send him a photo of me standing over the beds of his sleeping wife and children. You want to play tough guy games? I'll turn your life into Lost Highway."

You know, someone in this thread was commenting about how noone should respect pathetic chest-beating tough guy games. You might want to listen to him.posted by aspo at 11:25 PM on March 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

Any of the ones that make him sound like he isn't a total piece of shit.posted by grubi at 6:05 AM on March 29, 2010 [5 favorites]

Rahm Emanuel is badass, and I'm delighted that he's on our side. We need some badass mo-fos who will fight hard. Nancy Pelosi's pretty badass, too. And Obama's smart enough to have them on his/our side. I'll bet Rahm is a pain in the ass to work with; he seems to be stupid enough to use hate language(retard) in front of somebody who will quote him, and smart enough to help us elect Obama, and for Obama to keep him around.

Cheney? I'm pretty convinced he wielded the controller on Bush, and I assumed he hurt himself trying to stage a coup to stop Obama's inauguration. The Republicans have foisted some genuinely bad people on us; Emanuel's got a ways to go to be in that league. Not that I think that's a worthy goal.posted by theora55 at 7:46 AM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

HE SAVES THE CHILDREN BUT NOT THE CONSERVATIVE CHILDREN

This fact, like all Rahm Emanuel Facts, is 100% true! According to sources:

After reading some of the "facts" (or creative spins therefrom), I think I like Rahm Emanuel more. Then I wondered which "side" the site was spinning. But of course.posted by mrgrimm at 8:20 AM on March 29, 2010

Rahm Emanual would find this website boring as shit.posted by lester at 8:14 PM on March 29, 2010

I just assume anything meme-ish on the web is there for money (or 4chan glory.)

davejay: "Case in point: when my friend was a young kid helping his dad* build a garage in the backyard. His dad accidentally nailgunned himself through the palm of his hand with a non-safety-equipped older nailgun. The nail didn't get too far into the wood, so he looked at his hand, calmly asked his son for a clawhammer, and pulled it out (of the wood and his hand.) He held his hand up, looked at it, said "dammit" and then (since it was a puncture wound and not bleeding badly) finished up the board he was working on before going in the house to rinse it off. Never sought medical attention, and luckily didn't get infected."

Your friend isn't Denis Leary by any chance? Denis tells a very similar story on his 'No Cure for Cancer' album.posted by Hardcore Poser at 8:15 PM on March 29, 2010

I'd annoy Rahm just for the halibut.posted by Pronoiac at 10:04 PM on March 29, 2010

Accumulating a bunch of tough guy anecdotes does not make someone a "badass", and what makes you think he's on your side?

and smart enough to help us elect Obama, and for Obama to keep him around.

He wasn't involved in the primary campaign at all, and he wasn't really involved with the general election campaign (at least in the foreground) as far as I know.

I mean, I understand why this works but it's still amazing to me. People here a bunch of praise for someone, and pretty soon they start to believe it. They hear all this "Rahm is a badass" stuff over and over again and start thinking that Rahm is such badass. It's ridiculous. Then they go off and assume that Rahm is "fighting for them" or "on their side" for some reason, while in fact he's arguing against doing HCR after the Scott Brown thing and working against putting terrorists on trial, calling public option supporters "Retarded".posted by delmoi at 7:54 AM on March 30, 2010

He wasn't involved in the primary campaign at all, and he wasn't really involved with the general election campaign (at least in the foreground) as far as I know.

Rahm pretty much blew it during the 2006 midterms. His great idea as chair of the DCCC was to run a much of moderate Dems in a few key swing districts, and concentrating the message on jobs and the economy. Howard Dean, chair of the DNC, laid the groundwork starting in 2005 to run Democrats in every district and hammer the issue of Republican incompetence and cowardice on the mishandling of the war in Iraq. It wasn't until Ned Lamont beat Joe Lieberman in the Connecticut primary using just this message that Rahm changed his tune, and thankfully there were enough Democrats running in every district that his "concentrate on a few select districts" strategy didn't hobble the party in the runup to November.

Of course, the Democrats won control of the House while Rahm was there, so he didn't have the stain of failure on him. The fallout, of course, seems to be that Rahm never forgave Howard Dean for being right.

I'm sure Rahm is a decent negotiator/bag-man/enforcer for the Obama administration. He doesn't seem to be a great strategist or advisor, but he has his core competencies.posted by deanc at 12:29 PM on March 30, 2010

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