Read All You Can Ever Know: A Memoirby Nicole Chung Online

What does it mean to lose your rootswithin your culture, within your familyand what happens when you find them?Nicole Chung was born severely premature, placed for adoption by her Korean parents, and raised by a white family in a sheltered Oregon town. From early childhood, she heard the story of her adoption as a comforting, prepackaged myth. She believed that her biologica...

Title

:

All You Can Ever Know: A Memoir

Author

:

Nicole Chung

Rating

:

ISBN

:

-

Format Type

:

Number of Pages

:

240 pages

Genres

:

All You Can Ever Know: A Memoir Reviews

Monica Kim: Reader in Emerald City

**this review ended up being way too longer than I’d like to, but I had so much to say, so brace yourselves!

.

.

so when people asked me about my family, my features, the fate I’d been dealt, maybe it isn’t surprising how I answered — first in a childish, cheerful chirrup, later in the lecturing tone of one obliged to educate. I arrive to be calm and direct, never giving anything away in my voice, never changing the details. Offering the story I’d learned so early was, I thought, one way to gain a**this review ended up being way too longer than I’d like to, but I had so much to say, so brace yourselves!

.

.

so when people asked me about my family, my features, the fate I’d been dealt, maybe it isn’t surprising how I answered — first in a childish, cheerful chirrup, later in the lecturing tone of one obliged to educate. I arrive to be calm and direct, never giving anything away in my voice, never changing the details. Offering the story I’d learned so early was, I thought, one way to gain acceptance. It was both the excuse for how I looked, and a way of asking pardon for it. — Nicole Chung, All You Can Ever Know: A Memoir

.

.

When I was junior in high school, my family decided to make another BIG move, from Honolulu to Eugene, Oregon (home of the ducks); first BIG move was immigrating from rural countryside in South Korea to Honolulu. My dad had moved first, working tirelessly to save money to sponsor rest of us. Those who may not know, sponsoring family is a long, arduous, daunting, and expensive endeavor; not to mention the emotional hardship of being away from the family, in a foreign country, and facing the unknown every single day.

.

Anyways, we moved to the mainland in hopes of a better future. We packed up our stuff in a container that was to be shipped to the mainland, and we said farewell to many people who came to the airport to see our family and got on my first plane ride since immigrating to America. It wouldn’t be until college, my sister and I’ll start traveling. People ask me all the time, “why did your family move from paradise?” Let me tell you, living and visiting paradise are two totally different things, and Hawaii has lots of problems. My auntie was living in Beaverton at that time, and thought perhaps we could open a little grocery shop of our own, but it didn’t work out, and we were miserable.

.

Despite being a college town, there was nothing to do, and we didn’t know know anyone, so it was hard for us. For my sister and I, being teenagers and all, leaving our friends, whom our lives evolved around, was really difficult. Think of it now, sounds so selfish. We were there for little less than two months, and after registering for school, I skipped it every day. I just couldn’t do it. Boy, was Oregon a culture shock or what! I’ve never seen so many White people in my life! Hawaii is about 75% Asians, and rest are Hawaiians, islanders, and mix of few other races. The first (also the last day of school), besides my sister & me, there was no other Asians, except for one other Korean girl who was an adoptee. Before than, I didn’t know what adoption was nor never knew anyone who was adopted, it just never crossed my mind.

.

We burned through our savings pretty quick and find out that my dad’s old friend was living in federal Way (30 minute south of Seattle), we couldn’t leave Eugene any sooner — we gave up our apartment deposit, packed up & rented u-haul, and left the next day! One of the best decisions my family has ever made. Washington has been a true blessing for our family, it’s been real good to us. My sister & I made friends really quick & went to college, and my dad opened a small construction business & bought a house couple years later we arrived. When we registered for school in federal way, there were couple of Korean adoptees there, and we’ll see more in college. And they were always Asians adopted into a white family. And til this day, I always wondered what it must’ve been like to grown up as an Asian adoptee in a white family.

.

Nicole Chung’s “All You Can Ever Know: A Memoir” was a book I’ve always wanted to read, and it certainly answered many of the questions I wondered about for many years. Born severely premature, Nicole was placed for adoption by her Korean parents, and raised by a white family in a sheltered Oregon town. As she grew up and was starting a family of her own, she embarks on a search for the family that had given up on her. She grew up in a loving family, but knew she was different and her search for her identity & family were always there. This book takes us through Nicole’s journey & behind her mind from her childhood to adulthood to motherhood, searching for her true identity & biological family, it is really eye-opening, insightful, and heartbreaking read. She opens up about her life with warmth, honesty, authenticity, and candor. When she is reunited with her biological family, it’s both a good & not so good experience as she learns more about their past & current situations. I applaud Nicole’s courage in her quest, sharing her journey, writing a book that needed to be written & shared, and being the voice for the adoptees & people who were curious about adoption.

.

This book is much more than just story of one adoptee’s search for her identity & family, it’s a book for everyone who’s ever struggled with their identity & where they belong. We’ve all certainly been through it one way or another. I grew up in Hawaii, where I felt I like belonged, but when we first immigrated, I was so lost & confused. And even as I grow up & became an adult and as an Asian American woman, I go & went through a different kinds of search of belonging — my role & purpose in this world, who am I in this world, how I do fit in this divided country, gender role, cultural role, preserving my identity, and as someone dating an American man & how would I want to raise my family in the future, and so on...

.

I do want to mention that there were few things I would’ve like to see it done different — it has more to do with writing, composition, and editing than the story itself. Although I enjoyed the book and learned so much from her story, the book didn’t need to be 200 pages. It’s a slim book, but also overly redundant, it goes around & around. I’m going to disagree with other readers, it is poorly edited, almost feel like it wasn’t even edited. There were way too many sentences that just didn’t flow. It’s written conversational-like, Nicole pouring out what’s on her mind, but it still needed to be polished up. And, her adopted parents became a background towards the middle to end of the book. Nicole got caught up with the search & bonding process, and they almost became nonexistent, and you don’t hear about them again until the Acknowledgment section at the end. Overall, a great, thoughtful, and insightful story, I’ve always wanted to read a book about the cross-racial adoption family....more

Joy

"...it's always a welcome relief to find myself in the company of other adopted people, because only we can understand what it means to grow up adopted."

I loved this memoir, for its lovely writing, for its moving story, but most of all, because I could nod along in recognition at so much of it, even though Nicole Chung's story differs so much from my own. Those moments of recognition in literature are so rare for transracial adoptees, that when I find them, I breathe deeply and revel in the feel"...it's always a welcome relief to find myself in the company of other adopted people, because only we can understand what it means to grow up adopted."

I loved this memoir, for its lovely writing, for its moving story, but most of all, because I could nod along in recognition at so much of it, even though Nicole Chung's story differs so much from my own. Those moments of recognition in literature are so rare for transracial adoptees, that when I find them, I breathe deeply and revel in the feeling of being seen. This is a memoir I will revisit over the years and give to other adoptees I know....more

Allison

This memoir is absolutely stunning. Nicole Chung writes beautifully in a million shades of gray, with nuance, curiosity and so much compassion. This is her story growing up as an adopted Korean-American in a white family and a white community. What shocked and touched me was that she did not judge her white parents for raising her with a colorblind attitude (and thus leaving her vulnerable and unprepared to to the racist bullying she experienced throughout her youth) - she simply recognizes thatThis memoir is absolutely stunning. Nicole Chung writes beautifully in a million shades of gray, with nuance, curiosity and so much compassion. This is her story growing up as an adopted Korean-American in a white family and a white community. What shocked and touched me was that she did not judge her white parents for raising her with a colorblind attitude (and thus leaving her vulnerable and unprepared to to the racist bullying she experienced throughout her youth) - she simply recognizes that that is how transracial adoption was viewed at that time. I don't want to give away too much of the story of how she reckons with what family means to her, but this memoir touched me deeply and is not to be missed....more

Emily

There's a lot of ink spilled in the lit-o-sphere over the courage it takes to tell your personal story, so much that it's a kind of cliche. Too bad! I'm going to say it: This story is brave. ALL YOU CAN EVER KNOW is a courageous, beautiful book that deserves all the accolades it's going to get.

If you've encountered Nicole Chung's writing before, then you know what to expect. If you haven't read one of her essays before, you're in for a treat: Clear, elegant, prose. Beautiful but efficient. No wThere's a lot of ink spilled in the lit-o-sphere over the courage it takes to tell your personal story, so much that it's a kind of cliche. Too bad! I'm going to say it: This story is brave. ALL YOU CAN EVER KNOW is a courageous, beautiful book that deserves all the accolades it's going to get.

If you've encountered Nicole Chung's writing before, then you know what to expect. If you haven't read one of her essays before, you're in for a treat: Clear, elegant, prose. Beautiful but efficient. No words wasted; each and every one important (further testament to Chung's skill as an editor, too).

Writing about your family is very, very hard, especially when you know they're going to read what you've written. It's also hard to choose which parts of a complex, nuanced experience to shape into narrative without getting bogged down, and Nicole nails it. The places she dwells (her childhood and her pregnancy & birth story, especially) are rich.

I learned a lot, too. There's no "typical" adoption story, but ALL WE CAN EVER KNOW illuminated aspects of the process that had never occurred to me before. I feel so much better prepared to listen to the stories of folks who were and how to not make harmful assumptions. For that, I'm grateful. This is a book I'm going to think about for a long time, and I can't wait to catch Nicole on tour to hear her discuss it....more

Chandra Claypool (wherethereadergrows)

I'm not usually big on memoirs but when presented with this copy to review, I couldn't say no. A beautifully poignant and emotionally filled memoir of a Korean girl adopted by white parents and facing racism and prejudice no one around her could understand. This journey of her finding her way and wanting to know about her biological family and the story behind it is moving and oh so real.

I felt so much empathy when reading about Nicole's childhood and, while we all know children can be mean, wheI'm not usually big on memoirs but when presented with this copy to review, I couldn't say no. A beautifully poignant and emotionally filled memoir of a Korean girl adopted by white parents and facing racism and prejudice no one around her could understand. This journey of her finding her way and wanting to know about her biological family and the story behind it is moving and oh so real.

I felt so much empathy when reading about Nicole's childhood and, while we all know children can be mean, when you don't understand them pulling their eyes back and telling you that you don't belong... well that I absolutely can understand. Being half Korean, I remember these kinds of things happening to me and running home and crying to my dad about it. I was so excited to go to Korea where I would finally belong, only to be made fun of for being half white. At least I had my parents to speak to.. even if they could never fully understand. Nicole didn't have a cultural background to help her understand why she was "different". While Korean on the outside, she felt white because that's the only culture she knew.

I absolutely applaud the courage it took for her to reach out and find her biological family. I can't imagine what it's like to be adopted and this story truly opens up your eyes as you ride the roller coaster of emotions with her.

I think we have all had a moment in our lives where we struggled to figure out where we belonged in this world. And if nothing else resonates with you, this surely will. Chung's first novel is definitely one to pick up. There's no if you liked that, you'll like this... because I think memoirs are what they are - individually based and incomparable to anything else around them. I definitely felt a connection with this book and isn't that one of the things we look for when reading a novel?

When I started thinking about how I was going to describe this book, the words that came to mind were the kind of words you'd read on a bottle of water: pure, clear, undiluted. Every time I read it it was like turning on a faucet of raw emotion, a view into the author's experience that was like looking through freshly-cleaned glass. Forgive me if I'm getting pulled into mixed metaphors, but when I tried to explain it these were the kinds of images that came to me over and over again. I would sitWhen I started thinking about how I was going to describe this book, the words that came to mind were the kind of words you'd read on a bottle of water: pure, clear, undiluted. Every time I read it it was like turning on a faucet of raw emotion, a view into the author's experience that was like looking through freshly-cleaned glass. Forgive me if I'm getting pulled into mixed metaphors, but when I tried to explain it these were the kinds of images that came to me over and over again. I would sit and read and immediately be immersed in feeling from experiences that were nothing like my own but that were spread before me with full clarity.

This is not the kind of memoir packed with wild tales. It considers one part of Chung's life: her adoption. Her birth parents were Korean immigrants, her adoptive parents were white. Her adoption took place in the 80's before the complexities of transracial adoption were generally acknowledged. She was her parents' only child, and almost always the only non-white person in the small Oregon town where she grew up. Chung heard the kind of simple, happy-ending adoption narrative that adoptees are often fed. They are the kind of answers meant to stop questions before they are spoken. From childhood Chung always felt more than she knew she was supposed to feel about her adoption, and in adulthood she decided to track down her birth family. The story of her birth family ends up being as complicated and difficult as the emotions she's long felt, and Chung narrates to us the ways her discoveries are joyful, illuminating, and frustrating.

Often as a child, she does not reveal to her parents how she feels or how she is being treated to save them pain or trouble. It is not surprising then that she brings a deep emotional acuity, of herself and those around her, to the often-difficult ground they must tread together.

I have taken particular joy lately in memoirs and essays that portray an experience different from my own. Perhaps because when they are done particularly well I get to see the world and my own life in a different way. While reading this book I thought often about my own family, the one I was born into and the one I've made for myself. I saw much that I had taken for granted as someone who has never questioned who their parents are and why they are together. And I looked at myself differently as a parent, considering the ways in which I show my children that they are loved and wanted. I spent a lot of time thinking about identity, how it can be tied up with family and heritage, how it can be so much more complicated than anyone around us suspects.

It's a beautiful book.

Note: Nicole and I are friends on Twitter, she has also edited my own writing in the past....more

Lupita Reads

Five stars five stars! Because I can’t wait to read this!!!!!

Robert Blumenthal

This is a timely and well-written memoir that addresses the issues around mixed race adoptions. Nicole Chung, a Korean American, was adopted as a premature baby by a loving and religious couple in Seattle. They moved to Southern Oregon where she was brought up. Throughout her childhood, she was teased at her all white Catholic school, and she was never given the opportunity to explore her birth family's heritage. When she becomes pregnant herself, she decides to search for her birth parents andThis is a timely and well-written memoir that addresses the issues around mixed race adoptions. Nicole Chung, a Korean American, was adopted as a premature baby by a loving and religious couple in Seattle. They moved to Southern Oregon where she was brought up. Throughout her childhood, she was teased at her all white Catholic school, and she was never given the opportunity to explore her birth family's heritage. When she becomes pregnant herself, she decides to search for her birth parents and discovers some surprising things along the way.

The author had always assumed that her birth parents had abandoned her because they could not care for her and wanted what was best for her. In the process of exploring her past, she learns that this was much more nuanced than she thought. Probably the most important emotional event was discovering and then meeting her full sister Cindy, with whom she establishes a loving and supportive relationship.

I liked how the author reveals her personal experiences and reactions to various events in her life. I also liked how she showed how it is for a person of another culture to live in these United States, especially recently under our horribly racist and xenophobic leader. The politics are kept to a minimum, but the sentiment is definitely there. I do feel, though, that this memoir was not as involving as others that I have read, mostly because I wasn't able to completely relate to her experiences. I loved the sense of mystery in the first 2/3 of the book, but I found the last third to be a bit more difficult for me. I was never bored, but things did seem to get just a bit repetitive for me.

If this is a book that you find yourself relating to (whether you have been adopted or of a non-White background), I think you will be very affected and moved my it....more

Online Books Library is in no way intended to support illegal activity. We uses Search API to find the overview of books over the internet, but we don't host any files. All document files are the property of their respective owners, please respect the publisher and the author for their copyrighted creations. If you find documents that should not be here please report them. Read our DMCA Policies and Disclaimer for more details.