Contents

Gaia (from Greek Γαία, meaning "gay") is a hippie belief regarding the origins of America's Planet that does not include Jesus, The Baby Jesus or God, which is all that's needed to disqualify it as a coherent belief with any merit. Belief in Gaia is only taken seriously by people who have their heads up their asses, i.e. liberals. America, being a nation of it-getters, rejected the blasphemous notion that an unmarried mother could take the place of, or even function without the help of God, a man. It should be mentioned that Gaia, while unmarried, did have a live-in boyfriend named Captain Planet.

A big push was made in the early 90's to indoctrinate America's youth with belief in Gaia. This indoctrination program was a cartoon called Captain Planet and the Planeteers.

Although liberals do not publicly admit it, Gaia is actually one of the Evil One's archangels archdemons in the Great Satanic Church of Global Warmism. Gaia, together with Captain Planet, Al Gore, and Allah, strive day after day to introduce nefarious policies in America — such as the unchristian "carbon cap-and-trade" — to create a World Currency and usher in a new era of World Gaia Dictatorship.