My name is Ben, I'm a TA at the University of Arizona, I love puns and I'm Mormon.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Caller Unknown

This morning I was woken up by a phone call. I’ve said this before, but I’m really, really not a morning person. I’m really groggy, I don’t think clearly, and my voice is lower than normal. This morning it was a friend returning my call from a few days ago. I rolled over in my cot and answered the phone. The conversation went something like this:

Friend: Hi Ben!
Me: Hello… (I tried to make my voice sound normal, but I still had my retainers in and I had a bad case of morning voice.)
Friend: Did I wake you up?
Me: Oh, that’s great!
Friend: …
Me: I mean, yes. Yes you did.

I’m often confused and disoriented when I wake up and I guess my default response to a question is “Oh, that’s great!” because that’s what I said before my brain processed the question asked by my friend.

A few days ago I was woken up by a phone call as well, but this call was from a number I didn’t recognize. I answered the phone and it was some guy calling from the BYU counseling center offering me $20 to take a survey online. I’ve taken many BYU surveys for free and I was definitely willing to do one for money. I was still pretty asleep when he asked, “Would you be willing to take 30 minutes to do an online survey for $20?” I responded, “I love $20.” He then verified my email address and let me go back to sleep.

I had only been asleep for a few minutes when I got another call from another number I didn’t recognize. Still groggy, I answered the phone. The woman on the phone explained that she was so-and-so’s sister and that I’d met her and so-and-so’s surprise birthday party two months ago. My sleepy mind tried to figure out what was happening, but it was struggling. She went on to say that there was a girl at church that she thought would be perfect for me and she wanted me to take her out so she asked her if she would go out with me, got my number from so-and-so, and called me. That’s when I realized that this near stranger was setting me up on a blind date and had gone to great lengths to do so. My sleepy response was, “Wow, this is very brave of you. You don’t even know me. Yeah, I’ll go out with your friend.” She gave me her friend’s number and then I crawled back into my cot.

My last story happened last night. A friend called me to tell me that she had left a secret Santa gift on someone’s porch. She asked me to text the person to let her know that there was a gift on her front porch. She wanted me to send the text so that the text would come from an unknown caller. Later last night my friend emailed me this girl’s Facebook status. Here’s what it said:

“Nothing like waking up from a nap and letting your dog out to go potty only to find two gifts outside your front door to yourself. Then checking your phone and seeing you got a text from a number you don’t recognize saying ‘There is a gift on your front porch. ~Santa.” I got a huge fleece blanket and a beautiful outfit… Yes I opened them early Santa! HEHE Man I am feeling loved and the Christmas spirit!!! Thank you Santa!!!”

You’re welcome, stranger. I purposely used a squiggly line in front of Santa’s name because I thought it seemed more Santa-like than a boring old dash.

So if you get a call from an unknown number, don’t be afraid to answer. You might just get a date, twenty dollars, or a gift from Santa. And if you sleep in past 9:00 am you're likely to get woken up by a phone call.