Jay-Z Opened Up About Therapy and Masculinity

"I grew so much from the experience."

Jay-Z is opening up about mental health, talking about how therapy has helped him better understand both himself and those around him.

In a sit-down interview with the New York Times,'s Dean Baquet, Jay-Z said his latest album, 4:44, was like a therapy session. But beyond the therapeutic qualities of making the album, and being with Beyoncé as she made "Lemonade," the rapper said he's been to actual therapy, too. As a result, Jay-Z said he's grown a lot as a person.

"I grew so much from the experience," he said of going to therapy. "But I think the most important thing I got is that everything is connected. Every emotion is connected and it comes from somewhere. And just being aware of it. Being aware of it in everyday life puts you at such a ... you're at such an advantage. You know, you realize that if someone's racist toward you, it ain't about you. It's about their upbringing and what happened to them, and how that led them to this point. You know, most bullies bully. It just happen. Oh, you got bullied as a kid so you trying to bully me. I understand."

This, Jay-Z said, has helped him change how he interacts with people.

"And once I understand that, instead of reacting to that with anger, I can provide a softer landing and maybe, 'Aw, man, is you O.K.?' I was just saying there was a lot of fights in our neighborhood that started with 'What you looking at? Why you looking at me? You looking at me?' And then you realize: 'Oh, you think I see you. You’re in this space where you’re hurting, and you think I see you, so you don’t want me to look at you. And you don’t want me to see you,'" he said. "You don't want me to see your pain. You don't ... So you put on this shell of this tough person that's really willing to fight me and possibly kill me 'cause I looked at you. You know what I'm saying, like, so ... Knowing that and understanding that changes life completely.”

In the interview, Jay-Z also discusses his infidelity in his marriage to Beyoncé, saying that the street-tough attitude he adopted to survive as a kid growing up in Brooklyn, and the things he experienced along the way, impacted his ability to emotionally connect in his relationships with women.

"You have to survive. So you go into survival mode, and when you go into survival mode what happen? You shut down all emotions. So even with women, you gonna shut down emotionally, so you can't connect," he said. "In my case, like it's, it's deep. And then all the things happen from there: infidelity ...."

Of course, cheating is never OK, and it's not an appropriate way to cope with anything. Part of what Jay-Z is saying here could be attributed to the ideas we have surrounding masculinity — that being "tough" and maintaining a hard, often angry, outer shell is what it means to be a man. And in some of Jay-Z's music, that attitude is evident, including overtly misogynist lyrics and references to violence against women. Jay-Z even takes himself to task on his latest album for his penchant for "womanizing," like the kind he admitted to in the interview.

But for Jay-Z, that's apparently not at all what masculinity means anymore.

"The strongest thing a man can do is cry," he said. "To expose your feelings, to be vulnerable in front of the world. That’s real strength. You know, you feel like you gotta be this guarded person. That’s not real. It’s fake."

Crying is not a gendered thing, and it's not a sign of weakness — it's a sign that you're showing normal human emotions, and that shouldn't be shameful for anyone.