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13 August 2008

life is 2 cruel

Dear epic gorgeous crinoline of my dreams,

U r 2 cruel. It's like breaking up with your boyfriend, and then you see him on billboards and he's the new idol of everything and has a super hot girlfriend -- or worse, boyfriend, and you're just like, "Oh, I'm not doing nothing, just you know, getting fat and regretting my existence....". You see? You're practically edible. Sugar coated, purple crinoline goodness and layered and pretty and hardcore and 88 effing dollars.

Do you speak yiddish? Do you grant three wishes? For $88, I suspect you have seven dwarves at your service and a magic fairy godmother to make everything around you taste like candy rainbows and unicorns. WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME.

You are a seductress and I am your slave. But I will rebel and REFUSE to buy you. I will be so rebellious and buy your SISTER. That's right, your SISTER and do it RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU because you deserve it. Oh yes. She's the darker version of you, and cheaper. Maybe it's classless because when I'm with her, I'll be thinking of you, but know this: I refuse to give in. I am stonger then that.

But you know you want me too. Why deny it? I have everything waiting for you. I'm even half asian, if you want to be lolita about it! Squint your lace / crinoline eyes enough and you can see, I'm everything you need! Ignoring the really flinch inducing cheezyness of that last line I AM TOTALLY SERIOUS! I can be girly with you, go on cutesy dates for tea and scones in pretty blouses and then fulfill your darkest dreams with my black hardware heels and a fierce corset (or three).

15 comments:

gnarlitude jen
said...

Ok seriously, I see these things allllll the time, I even bought one and dyed it black. Next time I see a purple one I will pick it up for you immediately. I did quite enjoy you love letter to it though! ha ha

Why do you have a blog again? You should wear that with your hooker hose and that camera whore's dress, btw, I'm jewish camera whore ; ). And belle, no matter how much you try to convince that skirt to lower it's price, it won't, you know why...IT'S A SKIRT! Maybe try offering the owner a night with Garcia and Esmirelda?

HAHAHA you crack me up. sorry I have not responded to your comment, I would ADORE crashing your blogger meetup in this lovely city, tell me detaiiiiils! you can email em to me if you wanna. and yet again i love this ben's comment.

go to st mark's! there are at least 3 stores that carry those sorts of skirtzzzzzz

they usually have those crinolines tutus at cheap jack's on st mark's, not sure about lavender, but def in red and pink and black. i almost bought one when i was the blind melon bee girl for halloween.

I love all your love letters, I would totally do the same except I'm not romantic so any letter I would write to that (fucking amazing) skirt would probably be something along the lines of, "$80 something dollars? Go fuck yourself." Hmm but an ex-bf DID write me a pretty horrendous love poem so maybe I will show it to you in NYC?

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About Me

Hi! I'm Arabelle Sicardi. 21 yr old goat with great ambitions. I'm queer and Taiwanese American. I am obsessed with the following: cyborgs, bad Prada jokes, feminist makeup theory, and myself. Sometimes I get to write, style for, and otherwise #impact magazines and brands of note. This blog is my notebook on narcissism.

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