Ryan Seacrest And My Crappy T-Shirt

A couple of weeks ago many of you will know that I went on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show.

What you may not know is that I wasn’t exactly prepared for it…

In this week’s video I tell a little behind-the-scenes story of how I was thrown into the show without the chance to get fully prepared, and the lessons I took away from the experience in how to deal with such high-pressure situations.

From The Video

When something like this happens, we can immediately get resentful, we worry we’re not ready, and we start making excuses for ourselves.

The reality is, if you’re not in control of the situation, you have to be ready in the moment.

There were 3 decisions I made when this happened to me to shift my focus and that allowed me to perform under pressure.

1) Get Grateful

I told myself that, ‘This is an opportunity – no matter the form it’s coming in. It may have come at a time when I didn’t know it was going to come; I may not be completely ready for it, but it’s a great opportunity and I’m unbelievably grateful to have it.’

2) Get Back To Basics

If I communicate from a place of meaningful intention and authenticity, then I can overcome imperfections in the way I communicate. I may not have every answer polished in the exact right way, but if I communicate from the heart and I’m authentic, the audience is going to feel my passion.

3) This Is A Learning Experience

This is a great moment for me to try performing under pressure when I’m not ready for it. I now get to perform in a way that is spontaneous and unanticipated – and I know that there are going to be times in my future where I’m going to have to do this – so I might as well learn now.

What better way to learn than in a high stakes environment like this?

One of the greatest ways to change your state in any moment is to change your focus.

Is what you’re focusing on empowering you? Or is what you’re focusing on detrimental to your state?

If you determine your focus you’ll determine how you’ll feel – and of course when you know you can determine how you feel, you can bring a completely different game to any situation.

Here are the videos from the day with Ryan where you can watch me go through this process, and see me being part of a show I really wasn’t ready for.

The segment is split into 4 videos which should run through automatically on a playlist as soon as each one has finished. Just hit play to start. Enjoy!

Hopefully this helps you out with the next situation you’re in that throws you off guard.

Question Of The Day:

Not feeling prepared for a date? Not ready to meet the parents?

Where might the opportunity to use these 3 strategies in your love life come up in the near future? Let me know in the comments below!

I’ll bet if you auctioned off that white t-shirt, you would see the enormous value in it!
By the way, I would bid on it. lol
Or better yet, if you would like to just mail it to me, thats perfectly fine and preferred!

I think you did a great job for being caught off-guard. Don’t feel too bad about the t-shirt. I’m a costume designer and when I need my leading guy to stand out from a crowd sometimes I’ll put him in a plain white shirt or T-shirt. It works every time!

Hi Matt,
I’m sorry, I can’t avoid it, but I feel I have to play the coacher this time. To me it seems your feelings before the program came from:
1) Perfectionism. This is good since it let you get where you are now and I like the idea that you put so much effort to prepare your talks. It would have been bad if you wouldn’t have agreed to participate in the program at all. The example remind me when I was called in school to give an oral test that I wasn’t expecting. I started to cry (yeah, embarrassing) because I didn’t felt well prepared. Then I got the highest mark, but before I panicked at the idea of not doing my best (even if still I knew I was going to pass).
2) You may be used to the other TV show I’ve seen in your blog with these two ladies. They always make comments about your look and about you in general and you are more physically exposed (you are sitting at a high chair and the camera captures everything you are wearing). I like more the dynamic of this one, where the focus was more in the content of the message (well, at least the part I’ve seen).
Well, I hope you don’t take it bad, but couldn’t help writing this. As others said before, you did (and looked) great, as usual!!

Ha! By all indications, you settled in and focused on the task very well. This is a great example of how someone looks when they manage to engage in what’s important and not let the fact that they are woefully underdressed and got a bit blind-sided (or some other superficial thing) distract them from getting the job done. You were as quick and articulate as I’ve ever seen you. You jumped in, you done good.
(And now you’ll probably always carry a wrinkle-free dress shirt and a tie in your bag everywhere you go, right? LOL!)
xo

Oh, and as to applying the 3 Things: I have a lunch date tomorrow with someone I haven’t met yet but have been texting with for several weeks. I’ve been better about putting myself out there lately. I think he’s quite cute (which is a bit rare for me with someone I don’t know), but instead of letting that make me nervous and bringing my normal first-meeting reservation, I’m going in feeling free to just be whatever eclectic combination of “me-ness” happens to be on tap that day. If I like him and he asks to see me again, he gets a shot at a bigger part of the picture. If not, we are probably not a good fit anyway and I can wish him good luck. It’s amazing what having a wide variety of things to focus on in life does to your ability to let things fall where they may and be truly ok with it.

Matthew, I have your entire Program (worth every pretty penny, Ladies!!!) and still haven’t finished watching all the video’s on it; besides all of your You Tubes. You came up with NEW IDEAS in this Ryan Seacrest interview on what to say to meet a man. I was so focused on your insightful and wise information that was as usual exceptionally articulated; I never would have known you weren’t prepared. Thank you for sharing this information, so that when we meet someone and for whatever reason aren’t prepared; we know what to do by your written blog and watching how polished you were in this interview!!!

Matt…I thought you did the show very well. When I first saw the photo of you with Ryan Seacrest & Ellen (that is her name I think)…I actually thought that you reminded my of Simon Cowell!!! Well, you were dressed exactly like him!! However, I think you should always follow your gut feelings & go in wearing what makes you feel good – ie. dressed for success!

This was great about preparing for the unexpected. It’s Day 15 and I’m trying to do the holiday challenge. I went on some fun excursions, though the snow across the USA is posing a challenge! I was supposed to do something today and it was cancelled because of snow. Like you I was all dressed up and ready to go too.

I would say even when things are cancelled or you go and you don’t look as put together as you like, if you have fun it’s worth it. You said something on some video that even if you get somewhere for an hour and don’t interact with anyone, at least you went, at least you tried and next time you’ll get further. That really spoke to me and is helping me these last few weeks. Sometimes you feel cold or tired or don’t want to clean the ice off the car one more time, but if you go, you tried.

I also give myself permission sometimes to not go too. ;-)

I think you looked great on Ryan’s show. Your t-shirt was pristine white. Your advice was on the ball as always and you all seemed to have fun. :-)

Don’t usually comment… (Although I love your material. It has helped me get a great guy!)

But this was really cool of you to put yourself out there like this. You could have easily not told your viewers that you were not 100% composed in the moment and acted totally “cool” about it, but the fact that you shared this makes me appreciative that you’re not afraid of being real about how life really happens at times.

Matt, i feel like i’m destined to become a spinster. I’m 33…do you think there’s a cut off point? because i really am starting to feel like a tragic character for an Austen novel. Also, i’ve tried to stay positive but i just seem to attract really bitchy insecure female friends who don’t exactly fill me with hope. One friend spent our last catch up talking about her withering fertility various spinster relations. Okay, so i have all of these fears, too….but i want socializing to be fun and positive. To add to all this the last guy i dated was cruel and abusive…so my self esteem has taken a blow. What can i do to get out this???

Perfect timing as I have an important job interview coming up tomorrow and watching your video has given me a little more confidence. Even someone as accomplished as you can be thrown off guard but still deliver the goods when needed. I believe anything and everything can be achievable with confidence.

By the way, it may not have been as polished as you’d hoped for had you been more prepared but I thought you looked cute in your beat up t-shirt and jeans ;)

I actually discovered you through Ryan Seacrest’s show youtube channel.. it popped up in my subscription box and I was like “Wow, this guy is genius!” and then I read your book and watched pretty much all of your videos and I’ve been following you constantly ever since! So I guess, to me you did absolutely great!! and, to be honest, now that you’ve told us.. I LOVED that you were wearing your tshirt, it made me feel like you were just like any other guy, but one who knew what he was talking about!

Matt,
great job. I’ve been out of the loop lately since I had baby number 5 and my 19 year old daughter got married.

Hoping for some quiet time to actually be able to hear your interview with Seacrest.

Your crappy T-shirt was sexy. Some guys have all the luck.

Do you know the scene in that Will Smith movie “pursuit of happyness” where he plays Chris Gardner and shows up at an interview at Dean Witter and they ask him about the crappy clothes he’s wearing??? His response was fantastic and reflected a genuine sense of humor and healthy self-esteem.

I liked that. It was to the point and even Ryan took notes! Great. Have to make a good use of these 2 lines and be more proactive. It is interesting, but I keep attracting extroverted and playful guys who are not afraid to come over to me, but in the end it always turns out that we ultimately do not match (and they see me as friend anyway). Guys who are more calm or introverted would not necessarily approach me…so well it is my job to find the way to them ;).

Hey Matt I watched the interview you had with Ryan Seacrest and I don’t see the big deal about your t shirt it wasn’t that bad obviously you worried more about what you where wearing more then Ryan did. You did fine as always in the interview and you could tell from the way you engaged everyone there. Sometimes the best side of you comes out when your under pressure.

Hi Matt – I was able to listen to the show when it aired and never in a million years would I have known that you weren’t prepared for the interview. You knocked it out of the park like always.

Thank you for sharing this experience with us so it’s something we can learn from as well. Mindset is EVERYTHING and after being with you at the retreat last week, it’s such a great refresher to hear this now that I’m putting my new skills into practice. Thank you, again, for such an amazing time there. By the way, loved seeing you wearing your elephant bracelet! :) Still wearing mine every day.

Wow! This is exactly what I needed. I am usually a pretty laid back person and go with the flow, however, lately I keep getting thrown off and focusing on the wrong things and it has been hurting my attitude.

PS I am really glad you focus on improving your life and using success skills to get a man instead of only being about technique. It has really helped me in more than just the area of men, and it is always good to get your motivational videos in my inbox each week.

Important Note: While I do believe – and have seen proof – that the advice and programs I provide can help you improve your love life , please understand that not everyone will experience the exact same results. To get the best results, you must use the advice I give you. Every person is an individual and every situation is unique so no single piece of advice will work for everyone at every time.
But I can tell you that if you read the advice and continually apply it in your life, your chances of success increase dramatically.
And I’m here to help you every step of the way. Let’s get started!