Many of us, men and women, are resistant to the idea of loving our bodies. It seems so foreign. Sometimes even wrong. Learning to love your body can be a tangled endeavor, fraught with destructive emotions and uncertainty. Part of the difficulty is due to our natural bias toward the negative; therefore, we tend to get hung up on the parts of our bodies we don’t like, rather than celebrate those we do. We really get stuck when we compare ourselves to others and assign a value judgment to our appearance, which creates a better than/ less than dichotomy.

When we focus on things we don’t like, we often feel compelled to fix or change those things in order to feel better about ourselves. Unsurprisingly, the diet and self-improvement industries are founded on this kind of self-deprecation. But what if we let those uncomfortable parts just be for awhile and learn to take a more realistic view of the body?

The truth is that nothing, no situation, place, or person is either all good or all bad. So, to say things like, “I hate my body,” or “I’m no good as I am,” are complete delusions. For those of us that value truth and acceptance, the work really starts with acknowledging and appreciating the parts of us that are, well, not so bad.

We all have parts of us we like and parts we don’t, things that make us proud, and those that bring up shame. Remembering that all attributes contribute to the totality of who we are is a step toward corporal equanimity. Each time we discount or ignore these good parts we effectively deny the most worthy and valuable parts of ourselves. Allowing ourselves to reallyhave these qualities, the qualities that are easier to like, can loosen the grip of body- and self-hatred.

There are many ways to practice body acceptance, but beginning in a simple way can yield lasting results. You might start by meeting negative body thoughts with a phrase such as, “And I appreciate all that my body does for me every day,” or, “The truth is, my body has a lot of things I like about it, too.” You might have to take some time to think about what those things are if body appreciation is new to you. Remember, the goal is not to cover up or deny the fact that there are thoughts about your body that cause suffering, but to gain a more balanced and realistic perspective of the body as a whole.

So, what about all those other parts, the parts we try hard to hide? As you are letting those parts just be, notice if there is a relaxation around the need to change things. What if you were to simply apply some kindness or compassion to these less loved parts? What if acceptance is simply acknowledging that this is the way things are at this point in time — and, goodness knows, change is inevitable? Would that make it any easier?

You can also try the Compassionate Body Scan from the Mindful Self-Compassion curriculum. Listen to it here. This meditation was actually part of a research study on women and body dissatisfaction that produced a significant increase in body satisfaction that was maintained at a three-month follow-up. The study can be viewed here.

From the Blog

Praise

“I have worked with Katherine for a decade and always appreciate her compassionate yet direct way of connecting–both with me as a treatment team member and for my clients. The clients I send to her get practical and useable help, whether they need support with meal plans or intuitive eating. It can be hard to find RDs who truly “get it” about eating disorders–and Katherine has a gift for reducing shame, promoting acceptance, and increasing clients’ flexibility and self-empowerment. She gives them the tools so they don’t need her forever. I recommend her very highly!”

Suzannah Neufeld, MFT

“Katherine immediately gained my trust with her calming demeanor and in depth knowledge of nutrition. In a short time she has already helped me to build a better relationship with food and take steps toward eating more intuitively. I am so thankful for her and appreciate how she goes out of her way to support me and my growth. Her willingness to respond promptly to e-mails and questions throughout the week, work around my schedule, meet me for dinners to conquer food fears and supply great materials for outside work has been incredibly helpful for me. Thanks Katherine!”

S.R.

“I never thought I would enjoy food again!”

“Katherine is astute, knowledgeable and compassionate. She cares for her clients’ well-being and deeply supports each person’s journey to health. I recommend Katherine to my clients wholeheartedly and without hesitation.”

Olga Rocklin, LMFT

“When I first came to work with Katherine, she asked, “How can I help you?”

to which I responded, “I need you to kick me in the butt.” After working with her for over a year now, Katherine has guided me in new directions with a very direct approach filled with knowledge and compassion.

She always has a different angle to offer and gives me just enough to work on or ‘tweak’ at each session so I don’t walk away feeling overwhelmed by change. Has she ‘kicked me in the butt’? Yes, in a very gentle and encouraging way!”

R.M.

“Katherine is a warm, compassionate, and mindful healer! She is incredibly knowledgeable about eating disorders and understands the challenges and struggles that individuals face in recovery. She is direct and honest in her work and always speaks with empathy and integrity. Katherine is a true asset for the eating disorder community!”