The first virgin evolves from non-virgin ancestors. John the Baptist invents bathing. His cousin, Jesus, invents wine and eternal damnation. Flesh eating zombies evolve and crawl out of local graveyards and pester everybody else.

Earth's surface cools sufficiently for ooziferous goo to congeal all over the place. The goo was stuff that was created after the big bang. Life invents and patents itself. Precambrian wood becomes plentiful.

In the beginning there was nothing, with an exception of God. But who created God? Never mind, there was another God that decided to end another universe so he decided to sign an agreement for a fresh agreement. God hated being the dark so he decided to create light. The universe explodes, causing aliens from other universes to complain about the noise. Quarks appear in great numbers. Sedimentary rocks from this time period are rare because they have all long since been eaten by grues. Time is invented near the end of the era.