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Archive for February, 2010

Writing can be a lonely process. Thinking, plotting, revising, editing…all the technical steps involved in creating a well-written piece are steps that take you out of the moment and away from your family.

Yet if you are compelled to write, or pursue any endeavor that requires independent thought, this separation is a necessary part of the entire process.

I call that getting out of yourself. It’s a wonderful and cathartic process. Meditating on God’s word and opening my heart to Him in prayer is essential to my life and to my writing.

Then why do I feel, sometimes, so torn about writing? I am writing Inspirational Romance Novels, books that are centered around God’s love for us. It’s a happy topic! So why do I still have pangs of nostalgia about missing precious moments with my family?

Could it be because God speaks to me through them, too? Is He calling me to listen to Him, through them?

Do you ever wonder how God is trying to reach you? How does He speak to you? How do you listen to Him?

Togetherness is the main theme of Thanksgiving. It is a celebration of our beloved family and friends and of all the blessings in our lives.

At Thanksgiving, have you ever felt a loss that made you question why you should be grateful, made you angry with God?

Our memories center around preparation for the feast and the feeling of anticipating those who will be returning home to share the day with us. Once everyone is home, the real festivities begin.

In our house, preparations began days ahead to create the perfect day: vegetables were chopped, silver was polished and furniture was rearranged to accommodate everyone. There was no end to the fun!

Until the year we lost my father suddenly on a sultry day in August. Then our family shattered like the windshield of a car in a horrific crash.

My devastated mother’s movements were robotic and hesitant. My sister sobbed while trying to tie her apron. Where could we turn? What could we do? Our every move led us to him, to the memory of him. Going through the motions of a meal seemed futile and unnecessary.

The caring invitations of our loving relatives and friends, for some reason, just seemed to intensify our pain and sharpen our sense of loss. Who can explain grief? We didn’t want to go anywhere or see anyone. The three of us just clung together, like we were floating in a vast ocean with one life preserver.

My thoughts raced, yet they kept returning to one constant theme: It seemed that this wasn’t what Dad would want the day to be like for us. God was telling me that, but I was too distraught to hear Him clearly at the time. Something moved me: I chucked the meal plans and bundled us into the car. We went for a long ride and stood at the ocean together, listening to waves crashing against the shore. After witnessing a gorgeous New England sunset, we got back home.

It was time for something completely different: so we had a hot dog roast. Then we watched one of our favorite movies, The Sound of Music. Dad loved Eidelweiss.

At that point, we started talking a little and reminiscing together. It wasn’t a lot, the floodgates didn’t open, but we were able to speak together and relive some of the happy moments in a quiet and tender way.

We felt blessed to be together, to have that day and to have the memories that we treasured together.

We got through it, together…and in an unexpected way, we were graced with the realization that he was still very much there with us.

Writing inspirational romance novels is a joyous, dream-come-true endeavor. But it’s not all there is to life, it’s one part. We need the guidance of God’s blessings to live the life of happiness He intends for us. How do we put that into action on a daily basis?

What is the one thing that you are hoping for? The cherished objective you are striving to achieve? How will you feel when you accomplish this goal?

These are the questions I am wrestling with now that my fourth book, Destiny’s Designs, is nearing release. After years of writing, longing, hoping and dreaming, the reality has arrived: my books are out.

For sure, I am filled with boundless gratitude. To be honest, though, there’s a little fear mixed in, too, having met a goal. How will I know what’s next? Where will God guide me?

It reminds me of the time I was afraid to fly and I just got in the plane and went! No way was I missing a trip to Paris. God had my trust on that one. He has had it ever since, I remind myself.

So mixed in with my uncertainty is exhilaration, a joyful anticipation born of faith. Hope. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me next.

What are you hoping for? Have you ever felt anticipation like I described? What happened?