Lost soul

A client’s desire to understand the cause of her feelings of aloneness and separation lead her into a journey through bondage into freedom.

The intense stench of sweat, vomit, and faeces is overwhelming. I gag involuntarily, concerned for a moment that I might actually vomit and choke my physical body which lies deep in a trance, in our present time, a long, long way away.

I’m in a dark and filthy place that feels like some form of hell. I feel other hot beings pressed against me. The rough, sodden floor beneath us pitches and yaws like a cheap fairground ride. Those around me express their terror in a variety of languages and dialects but mostly through screams. Apart from dread, they have one other thing in common. All I can see in the deep gloom that wraps around us like a deathly shroud are their teeth and eyes. Their skin, merging with the gloom, is a deep and shiny black.

I did not expect this! Sienna telepaths, overwhelmed with the veracity of her experience. I thought my shamanic journey would be like a movie. This is too visceral.

–You wanted to discover the source of your present day challenges. Step fully into the body you know is yours and feel into it. In order to clear this trauma you must experience it first-hand. She does so and immediately starts wailing…

Sienna is a mature woman, looking to understand why she has felt constantly lost and ill at ease for as long as she can remember. Unable to form long-lasting and meaningful relationships or connect in any way to the place where she lives, she feels adrift in a sea of hopelessness. She hides these feelings under her bright and easy-going demeanour. She has no real need to work due to an on-going allowance from her wealthy family, but wants to contribute in some small way to society. Unable to locate the source of her despair in this life she is seeking answers in other times and places through a crystal-induced shamanic journey.

This is awful, I have been abducted and imprisoned on this wretched vessel, wrenched from the land of my ancestors and family. I will never go back. The grief is unbearable!

We are on a slave ship headed for the Americas in the late 1700s and Sienna’s prospects do not look good.

–Ask your body to show you what happens to you in this life.

We witness her young life play out, a tragic series of events, abuse piled on abuse. Sold to a greedy plantation owner, as a strong-looking young male she is given the hardest physical work imaginable. Bullied and whipped, the young man, mourning for his homeland and family, constantly says to himself, “I am a good person, I. Am. A. Good. Person”. He tries hard to feel into this new alien place, full of people who dress strangely and look like ghosts. His attempts to reconnect with the land and the great Mother are futile, it is just so different from the place of his heart.

He is stoic but remains deeply alone. He dies young, worked to death, with a broken heart and back. On his deathbed he is attended to by an older slave who guides his return home to light. The trauma of his abduction and enslavement remain imprinted on his DNA forever – or until consciously cleared through a shamanic journey in a subsequent life.

This explains so much…This feeling of total isolation, abandonment, and the emotional pain of separation. It is unbearable.

–Time to release this trauma, forgive your oppressor and thank the “Aunty” who helped you.

The forgiveness process takes some time as the feelings are still so raw, but eventually Sienna feels the sense of it and is able to forgive all those involved in her enslavement.

Such a blessed release! I feel so much better, but it feels incomplete…

–It is. This is a repeat of a much earlier, more intense trauma, which as it was never cleared, re-manifested in your more recent incarnation as a slave.

More intense. Are you kidding?

–If you feel able, we can go there. I suggest you seize the opportunity now.

Surely, nothing could be more intense than this poor man’s awful life?

I choose a silent response. Sienna could not imagine what awaits her. I hope she is strong enough to experience it.

I guess I have to go there.

–It’s up to you…When you are ready command your body to take you to the primary source of all your feelings of separation and aloneness.

She does so and we are there in an instant.

This is too weird. How can this be?

We are in another part of the multiverse close to this dimension and physicality. Here there is no individual free will. Sienna exists as part of a huge collective of beings that share their consciousness as one. She is experiencing a hive mind.

Strangely comfortable….But somehow not enough, for me.

Time passes and as she becomes more aware of her own self and its potential, those around her feel it and become restless.

I must escape! This is a painful separation from all I know and love, but I must let go. This existence is suffocating me.

Sienna breaks free and it tears her soul to do so, but she senses more beyond the hive mind – scary, but irresistible.

She pulls away and they pursue her as one. They are many and they are fast. When they catch her they devour her flesh but her soul breaks free from the group consciousness.

How could they do this to me? I loved them! I feel for the gut-wrenching pain as Sienna re-experiences her separation and death.

Wandering the cosmos, a free spirit but lost, she yearns for a home she can never return to. After eons of aloneness she finds Earth and a way to incarnate here, only to repeat her trauma in human form.

They hated me, they rejected me when they consumed my body.

–Call on them and forgive them, you will discover the truth.

The love from the hive is palpable when they arrive in spirit form.

–They share their true feelings with Sienna.

Did they fear me?

–They feared what you implied, a disease of individual free will, a threat to the hive mind. They realise they were wrong and beg her forgiveness.

Sienna weeps as she forgives the hive and the final part of her trauma is released, once and for all.

Returning to our time and space, Sienna sits up and dries her eyes.

“This aloneness stops now?”

–“Yes, it is finished, you are free to have a normal life, with many happy relationships and to fully enjoy your home here, on Earth.”

About the Author

Raym Richards

Raym is a shaman and teacher of teachers. He teaches his Crystal Dreaming™ technique worldwide and takes annual tours of sacred sites in the UK. More real life stories in his book Spirit World. Raym’s shamanic healing technique Crystal Dreaming™ involves clients accessing a safely expanded sate of consciousness by laying in a mandala of crystals. In this state present life challenges are tracked to their source in other times, places and realities. Their resolution has immediate effect on this here and now. Visit CrystalDreaming.com