Big Ben, Peaches Geldof's Pornographer, Returns to the Internet

In a return as epic as the prodigal son's, Big Ben—Peaches Geldof's kiss-and-telling lover—arose and returned to Reddit on Easter Sunday, with two comments responding to the screed Eli Roth directed at his mother yesterday.

Their war over the "instantaneous connectivity of the internet" (Eli's words) has now evolved into a battle of the Jews—Bear Jew (Eli's character in Inglourious Basterds) versus Ben Jew, who once performed a "mitzvah" by gifting a blind Hasid a tandem bicycle. (Turns out Big Ben is a diplomat in Williamsburg's Hipster-Hasid bike lane war.) Ben's return to Reddit began with a simple link to our post on Eli's open letter to his mother.

Then the man of the "Big Ben" penis tattoo wandered over to a preexisting thread about Eli's letter to his family, and joined the commentariat: "Fuck it, how often do you get the chance to challenge the Bear Jew to a cage match after he tattletales to your mom." We also discover that Ben's mother finds the situation "amusing."

Thatcoolguyben 79 points 5 hours ago[-]
I'm glad to be back on Reddit and these comments are out of control in the best way possible. I never said I considered Eli Roth's statement harassment, I actually find it quite amusing, as does my mom. I did in the heat of the moment write a letter back to him that could be either public or private, but I'm sleeping on it before I send it and I want time to edit it before I come out just bashing some guy. I will eventually challenge this dude to a cage match, which chances are I will lose, but fuck it, how often do you get the chance to challenge the Bear Jew to a cage match after he tattletales to your mom. Chances are never. Also eventually I'll do an AMA on this, but will definitely wait for this to cool down. Lastly, does anyone on Reddit know anything in depth on IP and copyright laws? I've received a ton of messages with people saying things about my story and pics getting picked up without me or Reddit being credited. How should I go about handling this, if in any way at all? Feel free to post here or message me privately. All in all I find this pretty funny, all this spawning from one quick post on Reddit when I was bored and erupting into possible fights with the Bear Jew. Proof that when someone tells your tits or GTFO you should always provide the tits.

It is testament to Eli Roth's ridiculous level of asshole-itude that you end up wanting to take the side of a guy who posted naked pictures of a one-night stand on Reddit, which is not a nice thing to do.