Phone scammer deserves swift re-boot

Sunday

Aug 11, 2013 at 6:00 AMAug 16, 2013 at 5:42 PM

What follows may convince some of you that I'm down to my last few marbles. But trust me, this story is true, every last word of it.

At precisely 7:45 p.m. on Aug. 7, my phone rang. On the other end, in an unmistakable Indian accent, the caller identified himself as a member of "the Windows technical support department." My computer, he gravely informed me, has been sending out error messages that threatened other users with virus infections. "You need to open your computer so I can walk you through the process of cleaning it up," he said.

I asked if he was calling from India. He flared up at that. "Sir, I am in the UNITED STATES," he shouted. "We are only trying to help you." I told him that no way on God's green Earth would I give him access to my laptop. "What company do you work for? I asked him. He repeated: Windows. "But that's an operating system owned by Microsoft," I said, " so are you saying you're with Microsoft?" Same answer. "Send me an email," I suggested finally." Since you know so much about me, you surely know my email address. Are you nuts to think I'd fall for anything so ridiculous?"

He hung up, and I went on Google, searching the net for "Phone calls from Windows." Well over a hundred blogs popped up from around the globe from victims similarly approached by heavily accented hornswogglers bent on stealing their personal information. Some didn't even own a computer, or had Apples, which don't use the Windows system. One said she was distraught because she had allowed the caller to dupe her into following his directions, only to discover later that almost everything on her PC had been wiped right off the screen.

Microsoft has repeatedly pointed out that it does not notify individual computer owners about their problems or make unsolicited "cold calls." Hang up, it counsels. Probably good advice, but the thing kept bugging me.

Watching my new TV the next morning, it suddenly occurred to me that its Caller ID feature keeps a log of all my incoming calls. I clicked it on and there — lo and behold — was my call from the previous night, listed as "Branch Comfort" followed by a phone number starting with Area Code 603. My phone book listed that as Binghamton, in upstate New York. Ah-ha!

I dialed the number. After a dozen unproductive rings, I gave up, but I was still curious, so an hour or so later, I tried again. This time it rang a number of times, but just as I was ready to hang the phone back on the hook, a now-familiar accent said, "Hello?" It was my guy from the night before, no doubt about it.

"I am an investigative reporter," I informed him, "and I'm calling because we've learned that you're making calls to scam computer owners, the most recent last night to the state of Maine."

A nervous voice told me there must be some mistake. "This is a pay phone," he said weakly. "It's in a rest area on Route 17 near Binghamton, N.Y. Please do not accuse me. I am a tourist. I came originally from Switzerland."

When I asked why he was calling people about their computers, he began laughing and said it was "just a joke," claiming that he was just passing by the pay phone, heard it ringing and thought it would be fun to string somebody along. "Tell me this," I said, "if you're Swiss, how come you speak with an Indian accent?" His reply: "OK, I'm hanging up now. You figure it out."

Beats me. But I do know that people abroad can buy "virtual" American phone numbers for almost nothing. I'm betting Mr. X is a lot closer to Bombay than he is to Binghamton, and that he never set foot in Berne. What do you think?