I always thought that both Janeway and the Borg Queen were trying to mold Seven into their own image. Their approaches were even similar. Janeway says the Borg took her humanity away and she can give it back. The Queen says they took what made her unique away, broke her, and she can be safe again if she comes with them.

I always thought that both were seeing in Seven what they wanted to see, and not what was really there. Seven was literally trapped between two worlds. Half-human and Half-Borg. She had been linked to the hive mind too long for it to be any other way. Even once she regains her humanity she's concerned about efficiency, perfection and so forth. She even has a "spiritual" experience over Omega Particle 010. That Chakotay understood that, is the closest thing I can get to justifying them being together.

Totally agree. I'd also toss the Doctor in there. Everyone is trying to make Seven the person they think she should be, rather than helping her become the person she is.

That's why the scene in Survival Instinct with Chakotay stuck out for me. He doesn't tell her what to think, he talks her through the problem, till she comes to her own conclusion that "survival is insufficient."