(difford/tilbrook)Warning: these lyrics are unconfirmed and may be inaccurate. they represent the best attempt at deciphering the song we have yet to see.

You're like a spot on a neckYou're like a bounce in a chequeYou're like a rip in a parachuteYou're like a scratch on a faceYou're like a suicide caseLike a hippy playing the spoons - you're a jerk boyYou're like a skid in the pantsYou're like an actor at cannesYou're like a car with a broken hoseYou're like a coffee that's coldYou're like a joke that's been toldYou're like a model with a broken nose - you're a jerk boyRool britanniaBritannia rules the waves

You're like a girl with pink eyesYou're like a loser that triesYou're like a dose from a day on the broadsYou're like a one armed minerYou're like a mirror designerYou're like a day in the life of a lord - you're a jerk boy

Rool britanniaBritannia rules the waves

You're like a spot on a neckYou're like a bounce in a chequeYou're like a skid in the pantsYou're like an actor at cannesYou're like a girl with pink eyesYou're like a loser that triesYou're like a scratch on a faceYou're like a suicide caseYou're like a coffee that's coldJust like a joke that's been toldYou're a jerk boy