HEARING that your child has Asperger Syndrome can be devastating but mum Clare Johnson says discovering her son and daughter both had the condition was "like the sun coming out".

HEARING that your child has Asperger Syndrome can be devastating but mum Clare Johnson says discovering her son and daughter both had the condition was "like the sun coming out".

The diagnosis of her two youngest children led Clare and her former soldier husband Malcolm to discover that they too have struggled with the condition all their lives.

She said: "We had always thought it was everyone else that was weird."

And Clare's eldest daughter, Ruth - the only member of the family NOT to have the condition - says that discovering the rest of the family have Asperger's is the best thing that has happened to them.

She said: "It's helped me understand why I've always felt so different. When I was a teenager, it used to make me so frustrated that they were so anti-social when all I wanted to do was be with my friends and do normal teenage things.

"They've always been so independent and happy with their own company. It was quite hard for me to understand."

Clare, 55, and Malcolm, 57, who live in Brightons, near Falkirk, celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary in May.

Malcolm has served in Germany, Ireland and Kuwait during the first Gulf War as a soldier with the Royal Artillery, while Clare stayed at home with the children.

It wasn't until seven years ago that their son Stephen's teacher, Janice Lewis - whom the family nominated for a National Autistic Society Award - suggested there might be something wrong.

Clare said: "He was always clumsy but he was a big child who took after his dad in size. We just thought it was normal, as was the way he took things so literally."

Stephen, who was initially diagnosed with dyspraxia, is now 21 and works as a home carer.

Ruth said: "When Stephen was diagnosed, it began to explain a lot but really it was just the tip of the iceberg."

Many people with the syndrome have trouble socialising and, while recognising these traits in Stephen and Malcolm, Clare could also clearly see how social awkwardness had always impacted on her own life.

She said: "We used to have lovely neighbours who would just pop in to say, 'Hello'. I just couldn't deal with it and would hide from them.

"I remember as a child too I had a friend that used to call round and sometimes I would hide from her too. My dad once told me he was sick of telling lies for me.

"More and more things like that are coming back to me now.

"When Ruth would bring friends home without any notice I would find that really stressful, even though I wanted to be adaptable for her.

"I've had problems in social situations all my life.

"I used to wonder why I felt like an outsider, why it was so hard for me to make or keep friends and why I so often said the wrong thing.

"Having Asperger's is like living behind a glass screen. Somehow you don't connect properly with the world."

About a year after Stephen's diagnosis, Clare and Malcolm's youngest child Tessa, now 12, was also diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, a moment which was to shed more light on Clare's life.

She said: "When Stephen was diagnosed Malcolm and I could clearly see Asperger's traits in ourselves but we hadn't made any connection with Tessa because she was so different.

"Ever since nursery they were complaining about her.

"They would say she wouldn't take direction and I always just thought she was just being spirited wee lassie.

"When they told us she was a very individual child we thought that was good.

"Tessa being diagnosed made it clear that she wasn't naughty, she was just stressed out in the school environment.

"Hearing the word aggressive used about Tessa though was another light bulb moment for me because I remembered that I had been called aggressive throughout my childhood.

"I was bullied, teased and left out at school but I could never understand what I had done wrong to be treated like that. I ended up being labelled aggressive because I reacted to the other kids' baiting. It really hurt."

Looking back, Malcolm can also see which Asperger's traits he has.

Now an IT consultant he says: "I have always known that I am a bit different. I think the reason why I ended up doing the job I did in the Army, targeting, was my ability to think analytically.

"I can do with or without company but I still don't find big social occasions easy.

"I also need to be told a meeting will happen at a certain time, in a certain place to discuss a certain topic. Saying things like, 'Let's go along some time and see what they are playing at' just doesn't work for me."

And Clare, who has also suffered from depression, now believes she has had Body Dysmorphia since she was a child, possibly as part of Asperger's.

She said: "There were always little details about myself that I thought were wrong.

"I never thought I was acceptable. I used to spend hours looking in the mirror trying to see the beautiful girl in me and never finding her.

"Then there have been times I have barely been able to look at all and even days when I have been afraid to go out because I thought everyone would be laughing at me.

"I have great hopes though that better understanding and better acceptance will help people with autism spectrum conditions to avoid getting illnesses like depression and body dysmorphic disorder.

"I'm confident these problems can be overcome with better knowledge."

Of all the Johnsons, Tessa is the most severely affected by the condition.

The talented artist is happy on her own and finds interaction difficult.

She can only manage a few hours a day at Grangemouth High School's additional support centre.

Clare said: "Tessa has a much more severe form of Asperger's than the rest of us but she is getting help now.

"There is no treatment for it but it is understanding why she reacts the way she does which is important.

"People with Asperger's can get stressed easily and are sensitive to loud noises or bright light.