thinking about forever

I’m not sure what had drawn me in really, maybe it was his eyes, his personality, or the way when he would smile he would try his hardest not to. Everyone drives uptown, as you know, something was different about this night… probably because I met him.

Ya know, I didn’t really think to much about him the first day, or that night, I was already interested in someone else, Zach. Who I now know is a complete and utter tool. That next day I added him on facebook, by the looks of it, he seemed like a loser… I didn’t mind it.

He messaged me. “Hey, do I know you?” “uhh we met on the square last night, I gave you a ride home?” “Oh, that’s right. Do you wanna text I’m getting off of here.” “I usually don’t give my number out to weird boys… but sure lol.” “lol thanks…” I then gave him my number and we talked for a couple of days.

Not realizing it I had text him for at least 3 days straight. I’m pretty sure I fell for him the minute we hung out. It was a hot summer night, I mean HOT! I wore a blue tank top and white shorts, as for what he wore I’m not so sure… I just couldn’t stop looking at his eyes and his lips… I remember how badly I just wanted to kiss him that first night. We hung out with his friends, which are completely different crowd from mine. It was…fun surprisingly. Around 10 we went and parked in front of the park by our houses, we live by each other, what a coincidence. We talked about absolutely everything, we laughed about this guy, who seemed a little… off, starting a fire and chasing a squirrel. I got so close to his face, over shouldering, reading his phone, I don’t know how he didn’t know I wanted to kiss him… he was clueless. We hung out a couple more times then, it happened… we kissed, as cliché as it sounds it was different for me it wasn’t like other guys, something just clicked. We were officially “talking” which is dating without the label and without all of the commitment.

It was the fourth of July and it was hotter than ever, we went to his Aunts. I still remember playing apples to apples with his family and later watching the fireworks; and as he leaned in to kiss me he asked me out… it was so perfect. After, we made smores, sat on the bed of the truck, cuddled under a blanket, and listened to his family laugh and talk about old stories. Where I found out about him and his younger sister having a “mud” fight, which was actually cow poop. He’s down to earth, which I wasn’t expecting. Then after a month or so the wreck happened… which opened my eyes and made me realize that the people I love can be taken from me so easily, and that scared me. It made me realize that I would fight anything or anyone to be with him, and to keep him. I didn’t want to lose him like I lost my dad, grandpa, and uncle… losing another man I loved would hurt too much. But at the time he was unaware that I did in fact love him… I told him the day of the derby.. “I think.. I love you..” “really..?” not the response I was looking for, I got nervous. “Uhh, yeah but I’m exhausted, I’m gonna take a nap.” “Okay.. I love you Ally.” Breath taking moment.. I couldn’t believe he said it.. he loves me, oh my gosh he loves me, the feeling is mutual. Needless to say my brain was going crazy, along with my heart and stomach. “I love you Christian.” Moment of relief. Its hard to believe that I’ve been in a relationship with him for almost nine months now. Through the fights, the small breakups, the hurtful words, and pretty much anything life throws at you, I fight through it all to be with him; Still would… Moral of my story is, life throws things at you that you learn to cope with, fight for, and things that change you. In my case, my turning point was a car accident, getting life-flighted for a concussion, glass in my head, 3rd degree burns, and a gash above my eye and on my hand. That can really change a person. It changed me to see that I’m not going to let the people I love slip away from me anymore. Christian is going to be in my life until, I die, I no longer love him, or he dies. Forever is a long time… but I’m willing to give that to him.

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