Monday, 5 October 2015

Am I Cultured?

As I was drinking my glass of Rotkäppchen and
scoffing cashew nuts by the handful - well, it was a Saturday evening - I
noticed a survey in the paper:'Are you
cultured?The top 20 ways to prove
you're sophisticated'.

I promptly put down my glass of Germany's finest
'champagne', won by me in a drinks hamper - I've drunk worse, I've been a
student - and had a read.

Phew, sigh of relief, apparently I am cultured!At least if you can believe the survey commissioned
by Yakult - which I then mused, is this a joke, a play on the word 'culture' as
it's a yoghurt drink?

Undeterred, I reassured myself of my level of
sophistication.So you can also be
reassured, let me share with you some of the apparent signs of being cultured, along
with my tongue-in-cheek analysis:

Listening to classical music - I performed in a Gilbert
and Sullivan at school.

Knowing how to choose wine - what's on special
offer?

Watching the news on television - what else is on
at one, six and ten o'clock?

Learning to read music - I played the recorder at
Primary School.

Taking an avid interest in politics - yes, I know
who the party leaders are, I understand the differences, I dislike them all.

Taking walks in the countryside - I live in the
countryside, I walk to the shop and the pub (see above).

Knowing about cheese - yes I know about cheese, I eat
it regularly.I like it in a sandwich
with pickle.

The survey also said drinking herbal tea and doing
Sudoku were signs of being cultured.Does my supping builders' strength tea and watching Eight Out Of Ten
Cats Does Countdown equate to the same thing I wonder?