Relentless sarcasm for your reading pleasure

facebook

There was an article on Mashable awhile back which discussed several annoying things that shouldn’t be posted on Facebook.

I’ve been off of Facebook since last year–I don’t remember when–and the annoying reasons came creeping back. I had recently thought of putting up a marketing page for my artwork, but…

Screw that.

I’ll get sucked in again; reading endless crap about what people are having for dinner, what their kids bowel movements are like, telling their friends they’re going to the gym (AGAIN), vaguely bragging about a trip by asking for recommendations on where to go visit (a computer is right in front of you, asshole. Look it up), and the famous skinny arm selfie, to which I can only state that the skinny arm selfie doesn’t make you look any less skinny than what you already are. Or aren’t.

Let’s not forget the political rants and the personal insults due to something you posted which results in you saying, “It’s my wall, and I can post what I want!”

Stomps feet and walks away.

The worst annoying posts, to me, are what the Urban Dictionary calls vaguebooking. This is a vague Facebook status which is a cry for help and your friends–whatever friends you have left if you are guilty of any of the above–reply with concern.

These are just some of the reasons why I left Facebook.

Twitter is awesome.

Why? Because Twitter isn’t about posting annoying crap. People don’t go on Twitter to read about some woman’s baby who just started to crawl. You don’t see people going onto Twitter tweeting images of their body at the gym five times a day, or ranting about the best–and I mean BEST–beef stew they made the night before.

Twitter is about really informative stuff; stuff that I subscribe to following. Wait. Let me rephrase:

It is Information that I want to follow and am interested in keeping up to date on. It’s the things that I find interesting enough to open up the link and read–possibly retweet–if it’s valuable intel.

Business, stocks, latest news, people with the same interests like bloggers and writers who may post great resources to things I didn’t know existed, the deaf community and their valuable insight. They are now mine for the reading and absorbable knowledge.

Yeah, yeah. Absorbable is not a word, I know. But neither is caramelly, Starbucks, so there.

The only downside I’ve seen on Twitter is people promoting their books and art, or promoting for others, to the point of me un-following them.

Please don’t misunderstand. I promote my books on Twitter as well, but I only do it once a week. My books are on my blogs:

I realize, after much therapy, that I’ll never be Stephen King. I’ll never sell a million novels unless I write about being tied up and having sex with a guy named, Christian Grey. I will never be interviewed by Matt Lauer on the Today Show unless while writing my latest book, I am kidnapped and held in someone’s basement for ten years where I finished the book, and all of a sudden it becomes excruciatingly amazing and an awe-inspiring journey of being a survivor.

Jesus – what happened to funny, real-life stories that make people smile and laugh? The only written word that gets recognized these days are stories about surviving horrific acts–either by another human or natural disaster–or stories of love, sex, betrayal and murder.

I digress…

I have to thank Twitter for not caving into ad promotions and automatically thinking that I may like this…or that, and then keep pumping me with the same promotions until I have to click on it to get it the hell off my screen.

One of these days, someone is going to declare a national holiday called, “Social Media Day.” This will be a day solely dedicated to people NOT being on social media.

Can you do it without getting jittery, having sweaty palms, pacing back and forth and popping Adderall?