ARE YOU AN

INSIDER

Ask Your Partner These Questions to Determine If You’re Compatible

by
Katie Fowler

PHOTO:

Sandra Semburg

Why are we told that opposites attract, when most of us seem to end up with someone with whom we have a lot in common? Whatever you believe about love and compatibility (and whether or not a shared love for brie guarantees sparks will fly), we're sure you didn't know that asking a potential partner 36 specific questions could help determine whether or not you'd get together.

According to Arthur Aron, professor of psychology at the State University of New York, 30 years of research suggests that the simple act of asking someone a set of questions is experimentally proven to bring you closer together—let that sink in for a minute. Apparently actually having tons in common is less important than the belief that you share mutual opinions, feelings, and convictions, all of which can be fostered by asking 36 particular things. “Turns out that actually being similar doesn’t matter very much, but believing you’re similar matters a huge amount,” says Dr Aron. Unsurprisingly, having a similar attitude to life can make you more likely to like like someone and want to get to know them. Not sure about you, but we're now left wondering whether everything we’ve been taught about love is baloney.

Keep scrolling for the first 10 questions and let us know your outcome in the comments below.

Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Would you like to be famous? In what way?

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?