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It has been announced that Christmas will not take place this year, following the tragic death of Father Christmas in a shooting incident in Montgomery, Alabama. Gun enthusiast and NRA member Cletus Washington III told reporters that he had opened fire in self-defence after hearing an intruder in his kitchen. [read...]

America’s National Rifle Association has identified a lack of guns in Syria as the reason for the high number of deaths from shootings there. A spokesman said: ‘That mass shooting at a military checkpoint would never have happened if someone had already shot the people who did it.’ [read...]