Last gig on the Mayan Calendar

Does anyone even read blogs anymore? I mean why would you with podcasts, and webcasts, and youtube, and tv, and internet tv. News Weekly just printed its very last print magazine and switching to an online version. That's it, if you want to read of physical copy of their publication you'll have to print it yourself. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing, Im simply pointing out that things are changing. Welcome to 2013! At least we made it, the Mayans were wrong. That or some unknown superhero saved us at the last minute...your welcome.

I kept busy in 2012. I wrote public announcement commercial with Paul Rodriguez. I performed at a Hispanic Heritage month event at Columbia University. Who severely pissed me off for taking 67 days to pay me. After emailing the University's president "Lee" several dozen times and sending him my grocery list they finally responded. I did a lot of Elks Lodge gigs. I love those Elks! I got another show coming up in February.

Stranger than Gig
A few weeks ago I get invited to this gig. Its a new show at a new place so I know nothing going in. In situations like this I like to bring someone with me, ya know so at least I don't have to get murdered alone. They tell me to show up at nine so I do. Show doesn't start until ten thirty in the pm. Thats ok, this is a common occurrence in the comedy world. I think I've been to a show that started on time only once...by accident. The producer's watch was fast. I knew there was something strange going on in this place but I couldn't quite put my finger on it yet. My friend the photographer also noted the oddness of the place. The place seemed really nice despite it's location and it seemed almost surreal. I thought that if we were to step outside for a smoke we may not be able to step back into the same magical realty again. Free bud lights and Jello shots were handed to us. For some reason at the end of the dinning room, their was a staircase which looked like it led up to an apartment. Who lives up there?

At one point a flirty older waitress, walks over to us with a young lady in tow. She practically pushes this poor girl into our booth. As I'm being introduced the young girl smiles revealing her set of metallic braces. How old is this girl? Why is she being flung at us by the wait staff? Is this show ever going to start?

After a very brief and uncomfortable introduction I quickly excused myself and headed for the bar. I requested a beer in which I was told they serve no alcoholic beverages. The bartender, for lack of a better word, points to a sign behind him that says, "BYOB". At that moment, as I recalled a few twilight zone episodes I was called to the stage.

The crowd was rowdy to put it mildly. If you can recall the scene from the Blue Brothers when they perform at the country western bar, but without the fence. The MC was so hammered that in retrospect I commend him for being able to pronounce, let alone remember my name. It didn't really matter much because the sound of incoherent drunk people easily over powered any words mumbled into the microphone. In any case I went up there and attempted to command the focus. I gotta say it worked for about 30 seconds. That's when a drunk guy dressed as the Dominican Micheal Jackson began yelling for attention. At which point I pointed out that he looks like Dominican MJ and to be quiet. Everyone had a good laugh until he stood up, walked over to the stage, which was just a floor, and threatened me with a bottle of Southern Comfort. Fortunately my friend was standing behind him and the drunk waitress also stepped in to diffuse the situation. Of course I wasn't helping by taunting him with Hee Hee and Oww as they pulled him away.