A Pep Talk For Anyone Going Through A Dry Spell [Sexy Time]

Jasmine R.

People make it seem like life as a young adult is just one long orgy, and all you have to do is text someone “hey” and two seconds later you’re boning. Unfortunately, whether you live in a big city or a small college town, sometimes the pool of available people you’re attracted to can be disgustingly small. Former standbys get into relationships, your classes are full of non-factors, life gets really busy and it’s hard to meet new people, or maybe you spend all your free time watching Netflix and you’re just not committed to aggressively putting yourself out there. Whatever. (By the way, why isn’t there a Netflix-based dating service out yet? Maybe I should copyright this.) But, despite the fact that going through a dry spell can be lonely and depressing, it doesn’t mean that there is something inherently wrong with you as a person.

There is very real social validation that comes from being coupled up with someone, and people who are single or currently not dating are often pitied or seen as unfulfilled or uncool. Not to mention the fact that if you’re a huge consumer of media, it’s hard not to take in the idea that you need a partner in order to be happy. I’d like to remind you that’s not true.

If you’re riding solo these days, you should definitely take advantage of it and really embrace the time you have being totally unchained. This means you can hang out with your best friends with reckless abandon, focus on your academic/professional career and get to know yourself intimately (on emotional and sexual levels).

There is a freedom that comes from not being romantically or sexually attached to someone. You can be a little more self-absorbed, you can go a few days without shaving or skip your wax, if that’s your thing. You can go to your favorite restaurants and bars without worrying about whether or not your boo likes the food or environment. You can totally live life on your own terms without having to compromise, and that is a really awesome thing.

When you’re confident and comfortable being alone, you’re going to be more confident and secure when you’re interacting with others. Don’t look at a dry spell as some sort of social failure and instead appreciate it as a chance to be good to yourself. You’re not a lesser person just because you’re not in a relationship, and being single or celibate is not a flaw.