published by Robert Roscoe/ Design for Preservation

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Monthly Archives: June 2007

Pointing out that the nation’s happier times has been no better reflected than in the 1960s TV program Mayberry RFD, Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty will soon announce in a prepared statement: “If you’ve watched my modus operandi in government, you’ll see I’m not starving the state’s economic development, education system and culture by cutting taxes – I’m preparing for our state’s future – we can become the next Mayberry RFD.”

“Life was simpler then, but our nation was also happier then,” the governor stated, “ So if we become simpler, we will be happier.”

Pawlenty pledged he will continue to strip away appeasement programs like health care, complicated education systems, and needless light rail and extra traffic lanes. Pawlenty sees his role as a governor taking on the image of Andy Griffith, who played Sheriff Andy Taylor who also acted as mayor, making everyday problems uncomplicated, without government intervention. Law and order can be simplified as well, and as a gesture to bipartisanship, Pawlenty will ask former Democratic U.S. Senator Mark Dayton to assume the role of always-nervous Deputy Barney Fife, as played on the TV sshow by Don Knotts.

Only one educational program will be needed, Pawlenty noted, “We’’ll get language classes in operation that will teach southern drawl as a second language.”

Critics of the governor who obtained advance copies of Pawlenty’s upcoming announcement complained that bringing back the state to Mayberry RFD times will mean no highly convenient ATM machines. Another issue will be the role of guns in this back-world. In the TV Mayberry, Sheriff Andy Taylor issued only one bullet to his deputy that he had to keep not in his gun but in a shirt pocket. The NRA will not be pleased.