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Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Workin' It Wednesdays: Marriage

Linking up today with Erika & Shay to talk about how we keep our marriage strong.

Well, I half feel silly for doing this post because we've only been married 3 years, and then the other half is like, "Yeah, but, 3 YEARS!" To be fair, we've spent 4 years dating, 3 years married, and 18 months being parents to Bo. So that gives us a total of 7 real years and 10 imaginary ones, right? Anyways, when I thought about this topic, a couple things popped in my head so I thought I could give my two little cents.

For any healthy, lasting marriage, I imagine doing things together is pretty high up in priority. What's one thing we do well together? EAT. And not just anything; we heart sushi! We've been having sushi dates since forever. I'd never considered eating a piece of sushi until I met Colby. And then I fell in love. We both love it! We do occasionally choose a new or different restaurant for our date nights, but it's not unlikely that one or both of us will say at the end, "It was good, but doesn't beat sushi." Some of my favorite stories of us have happened while sitting in a sushi restaurant. But, really, it's not about the food, it's about the person across the table. Make time for each other, for date night, for indulging-at least once a month.

We have also added a new vow since the day we said I do. Here it is: I promise to never watch How To Get Away with Murder without my husband/wife. We both love this show, have loved this show since the beginning, and we made the vow after the 2nd episode that one wouldn't watch without the other. There are like 2 other shows that we both equally enjoy watching, but this one is by far our favorite. And yes, Colby watches other TGIT shows with me, but this one is ours. It's much more fun to watch and enjoy with someone, and it gives us something easy to talk about instead of life/money/laundry/work. More than once we've sat at the dinner table talking about what happened/what we think will happen/who did it. And you know what? It's really nice to talk about something that's not important with my husband. (Because we do plenty of that!)
Which brings me to this...

I saw this on Pinterest for real lol'd. Last time Colby and I had a 'discussion,' I'm pretty sure I made this exact statement. #menarefrommars

But for real, talking and communicating is super important. Though it's not always easy and fun, it's something that has to be done. I'm a big talker. I want to talk about everything. All the time. I talk too much, and I know this. But I just want him to know how I feel. Then he says he knows how I feel after the first five minutes of listening to me, but he can't possibly because I'm not through talking. So he listens some more and then I say, "Aren't you going to say what you think/feel." His response, "Am I allowed to yet?" It's important to share your feelings with each other whether it be about the way you load the dishwasher to how you'll spend or save that extra money. And it's important to LISTEN.

(Side note: We don't 'discuss' in public. And by public, I mean in front of kids, in-laws, or a police officer. If something happens or comes up while we are not at home (which it has and will) we both wait til we are behind closed doors to have our share session. I think it's just more respectful of each other to do so.)

And, as every mother earth and father sun always says, "Never go to bed angry." Discussions shouldn't roll over from one day to the next. End it, move on, and go to sleep.

Something that works well for us?

No, not skinny dipping. :) But being complete children with one another. When Colby and I first got married, we started a game that lasted quite some time. I'm sure you've all played it in your life. One person says something sarcastic so the other one waits til said person is bathing in a nice warm bath and pours ice cold water over his/her head.

I keep a bottle of water by my bed each night and 9 times out of 10, Colby will ask for some before he goes to sleep. To get him back for the cold water episode in the tub, I gladly said, "Sure honey, have some," and accidentally spilled a good amount on him.

Anyway, I say that to say this: Laugh together. Whenever and wherever about whatever.

All the things listed above are great, and yes, do help our marriage 'work.' But GOD makes our marriage possible; makes it lasting. Without Him, both of us would be lost. If you do nothing else, PRAY.

And then pray some more. Pray not only for your husband, but for you, as a wife. I pray daily to be the wife Colby needs, and to be the wife God desires me to be. Prayer works, always.

Like I said, we've only been married 3 years. But in those 3 years, we've faced unseen challenges and become different people than the ones who said, "I Do." Thankfully, I believe we've become better.

9 comments:

I love this! Yes to all of it! I'm right there with you on the "early side" of marriage, but hey we still WORK at it right?! I love the prayer reminder, I also shared a little 'Husband Prayer' on my blog today! Thanks for sharing!MandiMoore.com