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Topic: Fleshlight Risk - Going crazy (Read 28637 times)

My question is if I am at risk of HIV infection and if I need to worry about this situation: Last night I hooked up with a guy I've known for a couple of months and we had oral sex (no problem) and moved on to fooling around on the bed. He went down on my backside and rimmed me (no problem) and then without warning he took his penis (no condom) and tried to penetrate my anus. I say tried because I stopped him right away and said to put on a condom, and he said he was just playing, no big deal. I said to him there is no way he was going in there with no condom! Anyhow he stopped and like 30seconds later he turned me over, lifted my legs over my head and tried again! But I am so tight there that he pushed real hard and it hurt and he couldn't get inside. I yelled stop and that was it. He was irritated, cummed on my chest and then I wiped off both our cum off my chest and with the third kleenex I used, I mistakenly brushed it against my anus to wipe the saliva from the rimming earlier. I freaked out and he proceeded to show me his hiv test (negative) from June 8, 2006. Nevertheless, I was freaking out about all this and walked out.

Am I going crazy? I am so scared of infection. I know that since he could not penetrate and therefore could not ejaculate inside me that there should be no worry. Should I freak out or did I do the right thing and I can rest easy?

Thank you for saying that. Yes my brain kicked in at some point. Though as i said before my big concern was the fact that he tried to force himself in my anus without a condom. That in itself (the fact that he attempted but not succeeded) should not have me worried? I mean, that part of my body was a bit irritated yesterday in the daytime, though I did check after all this took place and there was no blood on the tissue at the entrypoint so to speak. I guess I'm worried about what if a drop of precum came out while he was trying to penetrate. I still think it's almost no risk here considering he didn't even get his penis head in because I was so tight and stopped it right away!

hey guys, I haven't posted in over a year, but I have a situation that I would like assessed please. If I'm on a date with someone and after dinner he excuses himself to go to the washroom because he had some food caught in his teeth, and then he proceeds to floss...and comes out and kisses me! What if he had any blood from his gums come out?? Is this a minimal situation? A dangerous one? What if he blows me with that mouth that was just flossed? I'm sure this type of stuff happens all the time and no one has really been at risk of it...or am I wrong??? Please help!

Saliva is not infectious, even after flossing. Not only is saliva itself not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

Now if you punch the guy in the mouth and he's bleeding heavily, you might want to think twice before you kiss him or let him blow you. But flossing? Not a problem.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thank you so much for your response. You are a doll! And super fast at this! Tell me, if you scroll up to my old situation from last year, was the advice of me not to worry correct in your opinion? I've had a friend who just had the same situation happen to him a few weeks ago, and I told him about how I asked som HIV experts on Aidsmeds.com and they said that it's not a problem. Is that still ok? As you can imagine, I'm not an expert clearly.

If there's ever any advice in the Am I Infected forum that is incorrect, you can bet your sweet bippy you'd know about it - because I'd be in here having a hissy fit and putting things right. If you've read the Welcome Thread like you're supposed to, you'd know that only "authorised" people are allowed to answer questions here. Thats to make sure our answers are consistent, correct and reliable. Only people who know what they're talking about can answer questions and Rodney is one of those persons. Aren't ya, Rod!

I hope you told your mate to make sure condoms are being used. Have him look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line - you too!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks again for your words. You certainly have a way with expressing yourself that puts many minds at ease. I'm glad that I don't have much to worry about with these incidences I suppose, but it's worth noting I'm going for a full physical today and my blood work, of which I always as for the HIV test. I think it is important to emphasize to people over and over, that check ups and tests should be done fairly regularly. I still thing the msg doesnt seem to get out there enough.

If there's ever any advice in the Am I Infected forum that is incorrect, you can bet your sweet bippy you'd know about it - because I'd be in here having a hissy fit and putting things right. If you've read the Welcome Thread like you're supposed to, you'd know that only "authorised" people are allowed to answer questions here. Thats to make sure our answers are consistent, correct and reliable. Only people who know what they're talking about can answer questions and Rodney is one of those persons. Aren't ya, Rod! I hope you told your mate to make sure condoms are being used. Have him look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line - you too!

Thank you both so much for your kindness and patience with me. I did my full blood work about 3 days ago, and according to the nurse, my doctor is looking at the results now and will call me if anything pops up. So far so good. I am still a bit frightened and scared considering the situations I have presented up above in this post (no matter how old they are)...maybe I shouldn't be?

You were right and I admit I was a bit worried at first. But indeed I tested negative, and everything is fine now. I thank you all so much. Having these forums to discuss this serious health issue is a good thing for all. It keeps one sane. You don't know how much your support has meant for me over the past year and a half...now you know maybe why they call me....

Can someone tell me if giving a blowjob with getting some precum in the mouth and just letting it drip out, combined with an HIV- test at 64 days (just over 9 weeks) warrants a worry? Or another HIV test? In Canada, 12 weeks is considered 3 months...I dunno....I don't think there is a need....what do you all think? This just came to me. I think I'm a little paranoid.

Thanks Rod...you always seem to come to my rescue...I will just more on with my life and forget it then. Safely of course!!!! Thank you thank you thank you. You're a godsend...may good things come to you (no pun intended!)

Hope you're all doing well. I have a question...maybe my hypochondriasis kicking in here...but...I went to the barber today...and when I got there my regular one wasn't there but his partner was sitting around, and I said what the heck, I'll get my haircut with this guy. So I did and it was all going well, and about 15min later, it was time to shave my neck, so he took out the old-fashioned blade, put on some shaving cream on my neck and behind my ears and started scraping.

Well...I paid and left and realized that behind my right ear was burning a bit and so I put a kleenex there for fear of having been cut, and lo and behold, a couple of tiny drops of blood got on the tissue...so he did nick me after all. Just a couple of teeny tiny drops and then it stopped...BUT.....I'm concerned that if the blade wasn't properly sterilized, would I be at risk for HIV infection that way? I did pass by again and told him what had happened and he apologized and said that it was a new blade...but I never really saw him change it or clean it so I dunno what to think....need to worry? Seriously now? You're the experts, help me out! (crossing fingers)

Nicks, cuts, bruises and whatever from a barber have never resulted in a confirmed case of HIV transmission. HIV is a fragile virus and not easily transmitted. It's viability is quickly degraded in the kind of scenario you're working yourself up about.

You aren't going to be the first ever to become infected in this manner. Let it go and get on with your life. Really.

Maybe I'm paranoid (but I guess you guys know this already)....what is the risk of the following activities combined in one 30min sexual experience with a man of unknown status?

-getting rimmed (I would think zero)-getting a blowjob (I would think zero also)-getting fingered with a finger on the hand he was using to masturbate himself with (really dunno)-getting a whole lot of cum on my crotch and leg when he cums (stupid question?)

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I can't believe you got back to me so promptly so early in the morning...thank you so much, you are seriously the mother of this forum...and of all of us actually. That is a compliment!As for my concerns, I realize maybe I was just jumping the gun...yes of course, condoms for everything penetrative...actually at one point, this guy came up behind me and wanted to press his penis on my behind (butt crack and all) and my brain kicked in and I just reached back and put my hand there as a barrier, so he never even came close to touching his penis on my skin! Ha ha, I think he was not pleased, but hey, I do have some brains and really like to take no risks with guys I don't know! I'm doing good, huh?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

BTW, I'm not big on anal sex, and when I do it, I always wear a condom and am the top (only done it 5 times in my life...last time being...hmmmmm.....well, anyway.....

And thanks for getting back, Ann. As usual. So let me get this straight...if a guy right away takes his hand away from his penis and fingers me with it, even if it may have precum on it, then it's ok???And...no matter how much ejaculate he has come out (no pun intended) and land on my body, then it's ok too???

By the way, any of the experts can answer back to this if you like....

Hiv is a very fragile, difficult to transmit virus. When it finds itself outside the body, small changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all quickly damage the outer covering of the virus. It needs this outer covering to be intact and undamaged in order for it to successfully latch onto and infect a very few, very specific types of cells. These cells are not present on the surface of your skin.

The fingering wasn't a risk because his precum was outside his body. Hiv is successfully transmitted when it doesn't leave the environment of the body - which is the case with unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse.

Keep using those condoms, correctly and consistently, when you top and you'll be fine. If you ever fancy a switch to bottom, make sure the fella is wearing a condom and is using plenty of lube. I trust you read the condom and lube links in my signature line? If not, get reading.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I know we covered my lastest escapade in detail and Ann and Rod have reminded me that there was no risk in my situation with the finger....BUT....for my peace of mind....a guy I was chatting with online was telling me that he contracted HIV from fingering someone because he chews on his fingernails often, and his doctor told him that this is how he got infected because he did everything else safely and with a condom...AND, it gets better...the doctor said that 3% of HIV infections in general are from odd activities like that...higher than published reports. What do you all think?

My concern of course, was that the finger he fingered me with was covered in some precum and that my anal area was irritated from earlier that day. Any comments?

Keep talking to folks on the net. You'll find as many nut cases out there as you want to look for. You didn't have a risk, now move on. If you don't like what we have advised you go test. Collect your negative result.

After reviewing your entire thread (you should try it!) I think perhaps this forum has reached the extent of its usefulness for you. We've repeatedly given you the facts about transmission, but you keep coming back with more whatiffs.

Perhaps it's time for you to make an appointment with a counselor or therapist who can help you get to the bottom (no pun) of your hiv fears and teach you ways of dealing with your anxious thoughts. We cannot help you with that here. Ask your doctor for a referral.

If you've read the Welcome Thread like you're supposed to, you will have read the following:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Hey all,Hope you're well. I'm probably just giving you a situation which I'm sure you've read about before - but for my peace of mind, I would like to run it by you guys. It is a bit similar to something that happened to me last year which I posted already and was dealt with.

I've been dating this guy for over a month now, and then we had a disagreement last week, and we didn't talk for that time, and then last night we got back together, but he told me that he went around and slept with someone else in the meantime. We decided that it's best to keep our relationship physical, and so we had sex last night...I bottomed for the first time in my life! (so he popped the cherry!) and of course, I insisted condoms are the way to go and he obliged no problem there. It took a while, but as he was loosening up with his fingers my anus got irritated, but still once it was done, he strapped on a condom and we tried it. Not sure if it was for me, but I did want to experience it at least once in my life.

My main question is, that after he pulled out, he took off the condom and I turned over on my back to face him and he jerked off and cummed on my torso...no problem...but as I was masturbating myself to cum, two things happened:

1. He got cum on my dick and I ended up using it as a bit of lube.

and

2. He took one of his fingers from the had he had used to cum with and rubbed my anal area with it, and since it was so wet from the lube, I couldn't tell if perhaps there was some cum on it since he had just used it to jerk himself off. My anus was burning a bit from the irritation of the experience I had just had. I told him to stop that rubbing of my anus and he did.

So what do you all think? Any need to be concerned in this case? I mean I know the virus can't survive long outside the body, but this was a matter of less than a second between him cumming with that hand and that finger on my butt-hole.

On August 18th, Andy responded to my situation and I thank him vehemently for that. Though perhaps I'm getting paranoid...but last night I met a guy of unknown status and we fooled around. The problem is that I had a small paper cut on my hand which happened while preparing dinner last night around 7pm or so...and early this morning, about 9 or 10am I was giving the guy a handjob, and he precummed a lot and some precum came on my hand, RIGHT ON the little cut and it stung me....

So I got up and washed my hand and patted the paper cut dry with kleenex (it was about 1/5th of an inch in size) and a small tiny sliver of liquid came off on the kleenex, which makes me wonder if it had healed....even like 14 hours later! I couldn't see any blood and right now, which is about 6:30pm, it's kinda formed a scar....

SO....my question is (I'm sure you can see where this is going)...what's my risk for contracting HIV this way?

OK. I am going to say this along with concurring with Rod about your latest non-risk.

You've been coming here long enough to know what is risky and what isn't. Clearly you have a pattern of a lot of anxiety about non-risky activities and perhaps about sex in general. I suggest you might find it worthwhile to see a therapist or other professional and discuss your issues, and maybe before the next time you have sex? Just a thought. You regularly seem to be worrying needlessly.

Andy...ouch! That hurt. Perhaps you are right, and I have some anxieties - but you kinda hurt my feelings there with that commentary. I didn't realize that I was such a pain. Now I actually kind of feel bad that I've wasted your time. But geez, you coulda said that in a bit more diplomatic way...no?

Hello Forum folks! Hope you are all well. It has been a while I haven't posted on here, but I do check in on and off for the latest info on HIV, and to educate myself.

However, I have a situation as well this time around, and I am hoping some light can be shed on it by you.

Over the past couple of months (since I broke up with a wonderful long-distance boyfriend) I was getting urges to fool around with any man I would see. I acted on it a few times, and for 3 of the guys, it was just mutual masturbation and frotting...so I know I was not at risk.

But for 3 other ones, we got into oral sex (giving and receiving) - and I sometimes garagled with mouth wash only about 30min before, and was reading that this was not a good thing as it eliminates healthy enzymes in the mouth.

And the last guy, we had anal sex (protected)...I was the giver and wore a condom.

My question is this (besides being embarassed at my promiscuous behavior):

I woke up with a dull sore throat this past Tuesday, and some post-nasal drip....and over the past few days, it improved slowly but surely. The dull pain has shifted to one side of my throat, and yesterday I sneezed a bit but no nasal blockage. I have not experienced any other symptoms, no fever, no malaise, no tiredness, nothing...

SO...my question to you is: Considering my sexual behavior as outlines above, and it is 100% accurate, do you think that I put myself at risk for HIV and that I should go get tested for it?

OCG, no I don't see any need for testing. Nothing you did put you at risk for HIV transmission. You used a condom for anal, which is exactly what you are supposed to do. Unprotected anal and vaginal intercourse are the ONLY confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV.

Using mouthwash notwithstanding, your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV.

You are worrying needlessly. I don't see any need for testing. Other STDs are much easier to acquire so we do recommend that anyone who is sexually active ought to at least annually have a full STD panel done.

Thank you for response, Andy. Tell me, if a guy rims you and you get all moist and relaxed in the anal area and brushes his penis against it...not penetrating through the muscle...but brushes his penis-head against it, is that considered dangerous? I mean, what if some pre-cum is oozing out of the penis?

No. Rubbing or whatever you call such an activity is NOT anal intercourse. And it's unprotected anal that is the serious risk. HIV is a fragile virus that needs the kind of receptive setting which an anus provides in order to be transmitted.

Hello Forum, it has been a while that I haven't posted anything for question and discussion on here. Well, I hope everyone is well - just to let you know, I did a full STI panel including HIV test at the end of April 2010 and everything came out well.

But since then, even though I have lessened my sexual activity, due to better consciousness of what I want in my life - I have dated....so, there have been (and I can count them on one hand) - 4 guys in the past year who I got intimate with.

Now the sexual activity with these men was frotting and oral sex - however, there have been 3 particular incidents on my mind which I would like some input on:

1. In November 2010, I had oral sex (give and receive) and frotting with a man of unknown status, and he continuously during our second encounter, tried to push his penis without a condom into my anus. But I clenched and said no way, so he kept rubbing his erection between my anus and scrotum...until I just got annoyed and decided this wasn't for me, and I left. Haven't heard from him since.

2. Then in March of this year, I met a really nice guy who I dated for over a month, but there was just one incident that has bothered me: We were frotting in bed one night and I was on top, rubbing penis to penis, and *here goes* I ejaculated and he followed suit - and we kept rubbing against each other....it was a total mess as you can imagine - nevertheless, I got up after, as he did, and we had a quick rinse in the shower to clean off - but I noticed that my shaft was a bit irritated and red from the rubbing - and I'm wondering if this is considered a risky situation.

3. In April, I met a guy who was a massage therapist and as I was on my back and he was massaging me in the nude, he sat on me and my penis slipped in his ass crack, and I pulled it out worried that I would slip inside him without a condom. Now I know what it feels like to be inside someone, because of the anal muscle that one has to push through, and in that brief moment, I didn't feel that I had inserted into anything, but that I rubbed up against his opening.

So there you have it...all the sodid details....How much should I be concerned about HIV transmission? For the record, I'm going for my full annual panel testing again July 6th, but I am actually nervous - as I got sick a couple of weeks ago with tonsillitis according to my doctor for a week and had all sorts of symptoms.

Hey All,I hope you're well...I have an incident that took place last night which is freaking me out and I hope you can help me.

I had an encounter with a guy I met online for a masturbation session, and he took out a fleshlight from a box to show me how he uses it.....and it was pretty interesting as I had never seen that before...but then he took it off his penis and placed it on mine and rubbed it up and down for about a minute...

And I didn't think anything of it...then he did it on himself again, and then on me again....after which we both just jerked off to completion.

I was reading that you can get an STD like this, and I understand it's about sharing this toy...but can I get infected by HIV if he was positive??? I don't know his status and now I can't sleep tonight and think I should go get some PEP in the morning....

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

■Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.

■If you cannot find your thread, click on the "Show own posts" link in the left-hand column of any forum page, under your name.

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep everything in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Hiv is not transmitted from objects in the environment. You should know this by now. Please re-read your whole thread.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thank you for your responses having to do with this situation jk and Ann,

I guess rationally when I thought about the whole ordeal I realized it was an overreaction, but the reason I was concerned is that I had not read about this type of situation in the forums before, and that I just thought that fleshlights would create an airtight situation where if pre-cum or semen were deposited by one person, and then the object was used by another, there isn't a way for the virus to be de-activated. And then if I rub my penis with this thing then if there was even a micro-abrasion on the penile surface, I just figured infection was possible. Does that make any sense (?).