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Monday, May 7, 2012

A Nice Little Chat...

Look, it's time you and I had a nice, little chat... since it is just you and I here, alone in this big otherwise-empty blog... this blog; a strange combination of clubhouse, rumpus room, art gallery, stage, soapbox and prison cell. It has temperature control, an organic snack bar, a lavish water closet, a (unused) gas-fireplace, and two hidden passages (one leading to the top secret LAN dungeon and the other to a seldom used balcony overlooking my miniature recreation of Central Park (1:1000 scale)). All things considered, it's a nice blog, I think. Smells a little like feet/flatulence, but that's to be expected, to some level. Never been a fan of potpourri...

Where was I?

Ah, yes, a little chat.

Now, you'll need to forgive me tonight, since I've had two (count them, two!) caramel macchiatos today instead of my customary one (count it, one!), and so I'm a little off my game. That explains (in part) why I've shaved my head into a mohawk, and am wearing a feather boa, a fur-lined vest, steel-toed boots and a sequined unitard. But I digress. We need to chat, just you and I, and it needs to be a serious conversation. Unlike the times we'd discussed your unexplained love of Slim-Jim iced cream, my tendency to shout "Mufasa!" every time I pass wind, or our mutual hatred of midget rugby... no, this time it needs to be serious. As serious as that time we discussed my bed-wetting problem... no, more serious than that even... and that level of seriousness sort of takes our friendship into unexplored territory, doesn't it... yes, it does.

Where was I?

O yes, our serious discussion....

Here, step into my office...

No? Um, ok, fine, we can have our discussion here, that's fine. I mean, I know it doesn't smell the best in there, but hey, at least it's warm! No, I understand, it's kinda creepy, not a problem.

Here, we can go into my other office...

What? Still too creepy? Why? What's the matter, you afraid of teeth or something? Hey, good dental health has always been a priority of mine, you know that.

Fine, whatever. I assumed our friendship was such that things like that wouldn't matter anymore. Yes, I went there! We've known each other for so long, I just assumed that-- look, fine, whatever.

We can go out to the guest office then...

What's wrong now? Yes, I know you can't swim well! Good grief, it's like you're avoiding our serious chat or something! What do you think I'm going to do, propose or something? Yeah, look, I'm married already, and no offense, but you're not exactly my type in any case. Full-facial tattoos aren't exactly my thing. Well, I never said anything because I didn't want to hurt your feelings! Look, I'm sorry, I know how sensitive you are, my emotions just got away from me a bit. I apologize, OK? We good? OK, fine, let's just sit down a minute... here, let me grab you a chair...

Wait, where are you going!? Come back!

Fine, whatever. Go on, see if I care.

[sigh]

Man, good thing I didn't mention the webbed feet and the vestigial dorsal fin...

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Well, welcome to anyone else that might be passing through. I'm actually supposed to be posting my "Reflections" on the A-to-Z Challenge from this past month... you know, impressions, thoughts, comments, things I liked/didn't like about it. Well, what can I say? I went through my favorites, as far as all the vacuous forms of entertainment I use on a daily basis in order to help "escape" my o-so-painful, horrible life. See, that's the amusing part (I have to try to find the amusing part, forgive me)... my life is peachy. Blessings hand-over-fist... and yet, I'm wired to escape, as though life is too hard or some such. Good grief, I've got it made, just about every way I look at it.

Nevertheless, there it is. I read, I write, I watch, I play, I browse, I judge... it all came together in a giant, swirling maelstrom of self-absorbed navel-gazing which expressed itself in a daily barrage of hot air that, in truth, seemed more impressive than it actually was.

My thoughts on it? Well, nothing you haven't skimmed before in previous posts. It was fun, and it got old about 2/3 the way through the list. Hey, but at least I ended it on what I felt was a fun note, with the comic strip. And I got a few new followers out of it, and a few new blogs to pop in on, so it's all good. Will I do it again next year? Probably not. But that doesn't mean I thought it was a bad concept, or regretted it at all.

Bah, whatever. It's music time. Here's a great song from Blink 182 called Stay Together For The Kids... and surprise! It's a great music video as well! Not many of them anymore, that I've found...

I'm a sucker for angsty "divorce" songs, since I can sort of see both sides of the issue now... My folks divorced when I was very young (5?) and then again when I was in my late teens (19?), and now that I've been married a pair of decades, I've had opportunity to flirt with the idea myself, from the "other" side. It's a difficult issue, and no mistake. At the end of the video there, where they just rage and smash stuff... I've felt that... still do, quite regularly. It's easy to say people "should" do this or that, or tough it out, and "get counseling" and whatnot... I've discovered firsthand that things are infinitely more complex than that. As I suppose everything is. Sometimes I marvel that we've made it this long, Wifey and I. And at the same time, I can't imagine things being otherwise. Wifey and I are in a really good place right now, and I'm drinking it in, and trying hard not to screw it up. But I've also been where I've had to claw forward 5 minutes at a time - so has she. Unfun. Stay together for the kids? Is that ever a good idea? What kept me in place during those myriad "5 minutes at a time" periods? Honestly, I don't know for certain. I have my theories. But I thank God for it, whatever it is/was. I'm not foolish enough to think those times are all behind us. I trust that whatever it is that has got us through this far will continue until "death do us part"...

I've never been one of those dudes that blames my junk on my parents. I certainly don't fault them for doing what they felt they needed to do. Would I still be the escape artist I am now if I'd come from an "intact" family where my folks were together but couldn't stand each other? Would I still be all A.D.D. and/or (borderline?) manic/depressed? Would I be who I am now regardless? Heck I don't know, and honestly, I don't care. I've got a raft of quirks like everyone else does, and it doesn't really matter why... what matters is what I can/should do about them, if anything. My mom's one of my favorite people in the world, I'd never fault her for the choices she made in this regard. Granted, I do have some daddy issues, lol, but I won't go there... they more manifest themselves in general "be a man" issues than in anything specific about my dad himself.

Gah, abort, abort!

Wow, here I didn't really think I actually had a "serious" thing to discuss with you tonight!

Better turn the levity back on... feeling a bit like Harold Lloyd at the moment!

Great pictures today all crazy cool.. love the house on the tiniest island I've ever seen lol

now divorce that's a tricky one.... I'm 25 and already divorced I even tried again because of my little girl... him making promises he was ready this time and wouldn't hurt us or leave us like he did before and not 2 months later he cheated on me again and had my little 4 year old asking him "you don't love mommy anymore" and " are we gonna be a family again" it hurt me hearing her say that more than anything so no sometimes its not better for the kids it just isn't. The crazy thing is I know he loves me and he's still a really good friend he just couldn't put anyone before himself.. I don't know life is crazy sometimes you just gotta roll with it, I guess.

Logan: Hope I didn't catch you too off-guard. I had no intention of going there when I started. I just opened a blank post and wondered what I should say. Actually, I posted the opening pic, and it looked like two people having a little chat, and I just ran with it.

Blink has grown on me. I used to balk at their style/sound as well. This particular song is a really good one. And actually, they have some great music videos as well, which is an art in and of itself.

Krista: I can't imagine how hard that must be, having to hear your little one say that. The fear of that type of thing has definitely been one of the factors in seeing me through the rough patches... do I really want to hear my youngest say, "dad, why are you leaving? Don't go." My God, I'd rather die than have to face that. I will put up with anything to avoid that.

Anyway, thanks for sharing. That's a tough road. Wish I had some advice for you, but I'd feel like a fake trying. I guess the best I can do is hope the best for you and your daughter.

Here's the thing about divorce: you trade one set of painful trouble for another set. You just have to decide which set is the least damaging - for kids, finances, emotions, physical well-being, safety, health, psychological stability. Kids will suffer either way.

I think a lot of people look at marriage as the finish line instead of the beginning of the marathon. 'Ta da!' Happily ever after! It's interesting that the biggest weddings I've been to, have just about all resulted in divorce... not as bad as Kardashian, but the same idea, the "image" of being that happily ever after is the focus, and all images are ultimately shallow.

The best marriages I've seen are the ones where the couple is friends, and they see their marriage as a constant work in progress. Not an end point but a series of obstacle courses that you can get motivated and shine... or occasionally trip up and fall smack on your face.

I remember Granda Wagner telling me (and she was the longest marriage I'd known at that time) that marriage was work. That there were great times, and bad times, and the difference was the commitment to put your best into it and be a partner through thick and thin.

So I guess that's the secret to success in anything... are you willing to work for it... because nothing ever worth anything comes for free... except of course your blog. =)

My Little Corner of the World

This blog is a collection of hot air which has sprung forth billowing from the brainpan of one David L. Wagner -- a creative ne'er-do-well and all-around gump with a penchant for random narcissistic thoughts, funny pictures and other goofy nonsense. Browse at your own risk; you have been warned.