Mrs. Crappy would have been a fan of Pete Johnson. And she might have found Archie Griffin a bit irritating.

The people who sit near us in the stadium undoubtedly recognize the chatter that comes from seats 9 and 10, Row 22 in 14 C. I sometimes have difficulty forming complete sentences, particularly when Ohio State has the ball, but Mrs. Crappy is able to clearly — and loudly — express her displeasure with running backs who stutter-step too much before hitting the hole.

“QUIT JUKING AROUND!”

She recognizes that a certain amount of, uh, juking around is necessary, but her patience with the practice is thin. After two games watching Jordan Hall and Dontre Wilson, she’s going to be very happy when Carlos Hyde — Ohio State’s premiere north-south tailback — is permitted to return to the lineup.

When Hyde is back on the field, it could be that 14 C won’t hear “Quit juking around!” quite as often for the rest of the season. But so we don’t forget — and to honor Mrs. Crappy’s contention that a downhill running game is the best kind of running game — the Killer Nuts Tailgating shirt shop has unveiled its very first new design for the 2013 season:

There’s more than a week before the next home game. Order now, and we can all carry Mrs. Crappy’s message into Ohio Stadium against Florida A&M.

Your favorite KNT shirts — Pork Division Champs, Leaders Champs, Urban Renewal and We Are Killer Nuts — are still available in the store as well, as as always, your purchases assure that I’ll have two or three extra dollars to spend on our tailgate parties. Thank you once again for your support.