Spite, What Is It Good For?

Spite – a desire to hurt, annoy or offend someone.

I looked up the definition of the word spite today because I wanted to make sure it meant what I have always thought it meant. It did.

I looked it up because I wanted to write about people who I know that live their life for spite, who live and do things just to hurt someone else. People who spend their time thinking about and making decisions based on spite.

I don’t understand.

I’ve been mad at people. I’ve been so upset that for an instant I wished harm on them.

But very quickly that emotion fades, loses its grip and the rational part of my brain takes over before I do anything irrational.

The transgression is forgiven and I move on.

That’s not to say that all is forgotten and I stupidly put myself back into a position to be harmed again.

No I learn my lesson and start looking to the future. I can now recognize the upcoming pothole and avoid it.

But I know people, as we all know people whose lives and decisions revolve around spite.

“How can I hurt those that hurt me?” That’s how they think.

“That object means nothing to me but if you have it I’ll be upset so I now want it more than anything.” So they will pursue the object even if it could mean their own self destruction or worse yet the destruction of those around them who actually care about them.

It’s a self centered lack of maturity. They are behaving like a child, just like a child who wants nothing to do with an old toy until some other kid picks it up and starts to play with it. Then the thought of that toy consumes them and they are pissed that someone else has it and is getting some enjoyment from it.

And like a child these people lack any self responsibility.

“I had nothing to do with our marriage falling apart, it was your fault and you are going to pay.” You’ve heard or know someone who took that attitude as their life was falling apart. No they were perfect, no issues on their end and they were wronged so someone else must pay the price.

So they focus all their anger on the ex and some meaningless objects.

What they are really doing is hiding from themselves.

This anger and fixation on otherwise useless stuff keeps them from seeing and realizing just how screwed up they are and how what they are doing is just as screwed up as they are.

Instead of honestly saying what happened and what can we do to fix it or at least make this civil they say “this is your fault and I’m going to get even.”

But they never will get even. That’s what they fail to understand, it’s not about getting even.

They’ll just go through life miserable, getting nowhere and continuing to hide from themselves.

And that’s fine, it’s their choice, they are supposed to be adults.

But in most cases that spite is hurting everyone around them except those they intended to hurt.

So the next time you do something out of spite remember the persons you are hurting most are you and the ones who love you, even if you are a miserable jerk.