What a great way of looking at it all. I simply never saw it that way, but will now try harder. I tend to throw my toys out of the pram when things go wrong or I get it wrong and fail. Tantrums at my age! Ridiculous but I’m working on it. Thanks for your very useful post. I look forward to more!

Providing encouragement in the space between failure and personal transformation makes all the difference. No matter how long it takes. Nothing complicated. Simply being there for others (and ourselves) during the lows and the highs. In person and/or in word. Something you do as an author, in your writing, every single day. You bear witness.

Such an encouraging post because it’s hard to remember to look at “failure” in a positive light most of the time. If it wasn’t for failure, I wouldn’t have learned as much as I have, I wouldn’t have taken my degree all those years ago or started my blog. Great post, thank you for sharing and for the wonderful reminder! 🙂
Caz xx

Great post Andrea. In Ireland, the school system embedded a fear of failure and therefore a fear of trying for fear of failure. My favourite moments in class are when my students see failure as a doorway to learning!

I learned to think of failure as a learning experience long ago, when I was trying to leave an abusive relationship. Each unsuccessful try taught me more about what I would face so I could figure out how to get through it. Like the belief that the people who give us the hardest time and the most pain are our best teachers, so are our greater failures. Good thing about failure, you can try again with your new knowledge.

Reblogged this on Brianne's Blog and commented:
I can’t tell you how long it took me to break through the mindset that I must succeed on the first try for anything I attempt or else I must self-flagellate and wallow in the aftermath of my failure. This mindset is not only unrealistic but also harmful. The fear of failure can prevent us from moving forward and learning from our mistakes to become better and better. It’s so easy to slip into the pattern of comfort and familiarity, which is why so many people stick with the same job or relationship year after year even though they’re miserable.

Change is scary. Failure is even scarier. But you can’t expect anything to change if you don’t try. Be willing to cut yourself some slack if the result isn’t what you wanted. Sometimes the best things in life happen entirely by accident and can be found only by hitting and overcoming every roadblock in your way first.

Thank you so much for writing such a relevant article! I used to be terrified of failure but, like public speaking or performing in front of an audience, it gets less scary the more you do it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve flubbed something up or ran into technical malfunctions during a dance number, but those performances tend to be the ones I remember the most – and fondly!

This topic can apply to all areas of life and embracing failure is something I hope more people can get in the habit of doing!

Very wise! I saw this in my feed this morning and it is very relevant to the current feelings. I’ve learned that society still has a big stigma on disabled individuals, I feel like I fail a lot just to get to a point where I can get to a level playing field with my peers.

Thank you for writing this! I really like this reframe of failure. Recently, I shared with a student how many rejection letters I got before I got an interview for a doctoral program. This is exactly what I was thinking but couldn’t find the right way to say it. I’m going to share this with students.

Failure has taught me a lot about faith, knowing who to have in my “circle” and about my own level of resilience! If it weren’t for failure, I would not have a Ph.D, I would not have had such significant personal growth, and I would not have discovered yoga/meditation.

Awesome news! 🙂
I love that you’re going to share this post with your students!

– So often, just like you, I have shared my own failures with my students — and then ended with the punch line “And look where I am now”. And in that moment they get a glimmer of hope in their eyes, after hearing that I received a 38% on my first Masters’ level stats exam, and still graduated with a PhD.

– Thank you for also sharing what all your failures (and PhD rejection letters; I have many too) have taught you. Truly inspiring!

In the Silicon Valley, people are rewarded for failing early, quickly and then learning quickly and moving on to the next version. I wish more companies understood that this can be a source of great innovation.

Failure is beautiful…
It means your in the “game” and not side lining your life out of fear..

I see failure as success because hopefully if your able it will teach you how to recover as well..
These are both essential criteria’s in your overall development and growth in any human department of living..

Unfortunately, our society has created a stigma with failing, seeing it only as a negative thing..

They need a course that designed to teach children, parents, teens, adults how to fail miserably as a life lesson class, and then coach you back on how to recover yourself (mind body spirit) as well..

It is in all that where you find your infinite wisdom that can never be taught in a class room..
That is what is lacking in our society today !!!

I believe Failure can be positive. I talk about this a lot with others and see failure as an opportunity to learn, what works and what doesn’t. Each misstep I have taken, each slip, each detour, each time I tried and just didn’t make it became another stepping stone on my path to success and to the life I live now.

Absolutely. No one can succeed without failing first. How we react to that failure is what shapes us, IMO.

I always enjoyed Tom Peters’ comment on failing: that if we feared failing, nobody would ever learn to walk, because none of us ever stand up and start walking without failing and falling down.

That’s the intellectual side, of course, and the physical aspect. Emotionally, it’s more of a struggle. We put greater hopes and expectations in trying to succeed, so the taste and feel of failure can be shockingly bitter and paralyzing.

Part of that, too, is understanding that it’ll take some time and processing to recover from failure. Being patient with ourselves is part of believing in ourselves. I think that’s where so many of us really fail. We invest so much in trying to succeed that we let it define us, in part because we hunt for validation. Then, when failure is encountered, our validation is shredded.

Such an intriguing and inspired reflection on my post. Thank you Michael! You always know how to take the discussion to the next level.

So many points worth expanding upon. Especially when we look below the surface as to why failure hurts when it happens. Validation is key, as you write. We put all our identity in “one basket”(the relationship, the job, the grades).

And if we “fail at that” then who are we? Failures. We’ve all felt that crush in identity. Which is why healthy distractions, growth mindsets, and strong support systems are everything. And Faith. Above all else.

Life makes perfect sense — when lived backwards. Only then do we see the elegance of our mistakes. Here’s hoping we see the beauty in our failures looking forward too. 🍃

Thanks. I enjoy reading your posts. I dislike using words like mindfulness, because it’s become another pop culture buzz word, but I think it’s apropos here. I ‘know’ many of these things, but forget about them on a daily basis as the world and my issues suck me down. Reading your posts help me reflect and regain balance, and become more mindful of how I’m responding to events. Cheers

I love your work! And your delivery is passionate and contagious. I’ve been thinking about short videos but I can’t stand to see myself (in pictures) or video. 😛 Your students are fortunate to have you as their professor!

My best tip for you is to start where I did with my first video blog: https://drandreadinardo.com/2018/05/25/5-steps-to-thriving/ <— I took an old post and added in my narrative (without myself personally in the shot), this gave me the confidence to venture a little more outside my comfort zone with a selfie style video.

Both styles work! You don’t have to be in the shot. Whatever you decide, I am here for virtual cheering & support when and if you go for it!