Letter from a Girl Tired of Hook Up Culture

Dear 21st century daters,

I know you’re busy preparing to head back to post-secondary school because of all the late night partying, keggers and total freedom you’ll have but hear me out for a sec. Why not look forward to something with more substance this year? Why not try to hook up with one girl or boy and stay with them for longer than a week?

I know you’d rather sample the campus roster but haven’t you ever thought about what you’re missing out on? Once you tire of your games of cat and mouse, you’ll have lost the ability to communicate love because you’re scared the person will leave you. You’re playing with your own feelings because a casual hook up can stir up an emotional attachment the other person doesn’t want anything to do with.

Do you still remember what dates were like? No, I don’t mean frolicking in cheap dorm sheets with a stranger. I mean that connection you makewhile laughing with a stranger eating cones from the ice cream truck after a cram session in the library. You enjoy the quality time together even though there’s no sex guaranteed at the end.

Whatever happened to the vulnerable and full love we all wanted at some point in our youth? Hook-up culture made us scared of commitment and eventually we’ll lose someone special because of this irrational fear of putting effort into something that might not last forever.

It doesn’t make sense to me, wouldn’t you rather experience something beautiful and meaningful than to never have had it at all? Contrary to what you believe, hooking up doesn’t make you more popular or a pro in bed. You’ll only get good at dodging people you had awkward morning afters with.

Being known as the person who is readily available “have fun with” is never a flattering image. Don’t sell yourself short, you’re worth more than a bang and dash. Good men who aren’t scared to invest in a real relationship shouldn’t stop looking, we’ll find each other soon enough. In the mean time, I’m saying no thanks to those guys who see me as a joy ride because this gal is into a different kind of happy ending.