Bar hoppers cure the munchies with hot dogs

Sarah Zemach, Tyler Jameson, Blair Swearingen, and Nora Schweitz take advantage of late night hours at The Original Durango Dawg House, Main Avenue and College Drive, open six nights a week until 2:30am.

ISAIAH BRANCH-BOYLE/Durango Herald

Sarah Zemach, Tyler Jameson, Blair Swearingen, and Nora Schweitz take advantage of late night hours at The Original Durango Dawg House, Main Avenue and College Drive, open six nights a week until 2:30am.

Face it. When you’re drunk, you eat hot dogs.

Few want to admit their love affair with the bad beast of the deli, but if you’re still not out of that closet, consider the after-midnight crowd at the Durango Dawg House. They eat from 150 to 200 dogs on a busy night, server Marley Herckner said.

It’s the last stop on the weekend bar-hopping trail, no matter the sniveling against this most unholy and unhealthy of snacks.

The Dawg House, near the corner of College Drive and Main Avenue, sells veggie dogs, gyros, shrimp salads and even funnel fries and chocolate-covered bananas in this kiosk-sized shop, but it’s the dozens of dogs that account for the winding line on one of downtown’s busiest corners.

Fellow worker Joe Lacey said 80 percent of the late-night folks come for a bite after a night on the town. Many just point to the Chicago Dog, slide their plastic across the counter, and then grab a seat on the tiny patio, he said.

Others go for the Great Danes of the dogs such as a Southern Comfort, a bacon-wrapped dog cloaked in pulled pork, coleslaw and barbecue sauce, or The Sledgehammer that adds Polish sausage, chili, sport peppers and cheese.

So does the Dawg House serve Durango’s earliest breakfast?

On a recent Saturday about three hours before dawn – when normally I’m climbing out from between the sheets – I went downtown to see for myself. Other than lots of cops, none of whom was eating hot dogs, I suspect I was the only sober person beating the street.

A 26-year-old Arkansas transplant, Travis Martin, talking between mouthfuls of sauerkraut, sized it up: “If you’re downtown, you’re gonna be bar hopping. If you know anything about Durango, you better be on foot,” he said. “You need a hot dog before you go home,” he said. “Next time, I’m having the same dog, minus the kraut.”

Ladies, if you are looking for good odds, there were about 10 males to each female on this drizzly Saturday night.

The one female I recalled seeing was wearing a black T-shirt that read, “My Indian name is ‘Runs with beer.’” She was eating a Frito pie – a dog buried under chili, shredded cheese, onions and Fritos.

“Greasy food energizes,” she said.

With those wise words she vanished into the night, so I turned back to Martin to ask why drunks love hot dogs. I actually asked lots of folks why drunks love hot dogs, but I didn’t get answers.

The next morning I called one of my neighbors, a self-described “former drunk.” Back in his drinking days, there was no Dawg House. He’d just stumble on home, cook up 15 corn dogs and call it good, he said.

“You need to catch folks early in the day, while they still can unravel one of the great mysteries of our universe,” my neighbor advised.

The two of us set out on foot on a late Sunday morning to seek answers.

“Oh my,” Fox said as he slowly removed his glasses, arched his eyebrows and dragged his palms down his face. “Why do people choose to live under bridges? … I do not know these things.”

But seconds later, he came up with an answer, waxing on about the satisfaction only a hot dog can provide.

“Of course it’s all about the accoutrements,” Fox said.

That’s bar French for mustard, relish and ketchup, I explained to my neighbor, unaware that the mere mention of the “k” word would likely fling open the flood gates of folks passionate about how a dog should properly be dressed.

“Anyone who puts ketchup on their hot dog must be from north of the Mason Dixon line and east of the Mississippi,” 20-year Durango resident Robert Butrymowicz warned from his bar stool at Orio’s Roadhouse.

Butrymowicz, like Fox, “does the Durango two-job shuffle,” working as a plumber and fly-fishing guide.

“Why do drunks love hot dogs?” I asked.

When you’re hammered, eating Polish sausage with raw onions, mustard and kraut on a poppy-seed bun seems like a good idea, he said.

“On my trip down the river the other day, I saw some mustard on my thumbnail, but come to think about it, I can’t remember actually eating that hot dog,” Butrymowicz said.

Bartender Edie Wentz, who was unaware that a hot dog haven was a mere stone’s throw from her front door, said drunks like hot dogs because they’re convenient and easy to eat. “Just aim and bite.”

Durango resident Shafi Majeed chose his words more thoughtfully.

With Pabst Blue Ribbon in one hand and Camel cigarette in the other, he pondered.

“The highest part of your brain shuts down, and the lower brain caters to a false sense of well-being,” Majeed said of the combination of beer followed by hot dogs.

He referenced Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil to draw a parallel between hot dog consumption and the perspectival nature of knowledge and the conflicted condition of man.

Kyle Hofmann grabs a snack while people watching from the Dawg House patio facing College Avenue near Main Street.

ISAIAH BRANCH-BOYLE/Durango Herald

Kyle Hofmann grabs a snack while people watching from the Dawg House patio facing College Avenue near Main Street.

Wieners may help with hangovers

This Fourth of July holiday, Americans ate some 150 million hot dogs, according to industry analysts and reported recently in Scientific American. Lined end to end, this substantial number of wieners would stretch not just from sea to shining sea, but all the way to Frankfurt. Beer consumption is equally staggering: Americans consume 50 billion pints of beer each year. Late-night consumption of hot dogs and beer is not likely to go away anytime soon. Two local professionals recognize that and offer advice on late-night eating and drinking. Durango psychologist Susan McGinness, who recently retired from Fort Lewis College’s Counseling Center, has 27 years’ experience in assessing and interviewing students after they have been sent to detox.“Drunk munchies is a real happening and has to do with appetite control. After drinking four of five pints of beer or shots of alcohol, the ability to regulate food goes amok,” McGinness said.Neurologically, appetite is regulated by the hypothalamus. Binge drinking sends a message to the hypothalamus, and it responds by craving high-calorie food, McGinness explained. “Neurologically and psychologically, one indulgence seems to trigger more indulgence,” McGinness said. Comfort foods, such as hot dogs, pizza and Mexican food, are affordable and often fit the bill for students. McGinness said smart drinkers understand that time and food will help them sober up enough to get home safely and without hassle. Durango’s late-night dining opportunities such as No Way Jose’s, Denny’s and the Durango Dawg House therefore fill a useful niche: “(They’re) actually good for the drinker and good for the economy.”Registered dietitian Susie Young suggests smart eating before partiers actually start a night of drinking.“Food will slow down alcohol absorption,” Young said. “Choose high-protein, moderate-fat, moderate-carbohydrate meals,” she said. Drinking water with the meal and all evening long will help rehydrate the body.Can good nutrition reduce the effects of a hangover?“Eggs are a great protein source, and they contain cysteine, an amino acid, which may help break down toxins in the body,” Young said. “Honey or fruit is another good option to include, as the fructose helps the body metabolize alcohol.”Tomatoes, bananas, mangos, peppers and guacamole help replace vitamins and minerals that become depleted by alcohol, Young said, making some Mexican foods a good dining choice when drinking. As for hot dog eaters reporting having vivid dreams after bingeing on hot dogs, Young offered the observation that vitamin B6 is associated with dreaming, and that hot dogs may be a source of that vitamin. kbrucolianesi@durangoherald.com