Thursday, October 30, 2008

An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight fromLos Angeles to New York. The American asks if he wouldlike to play a fun-game.The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines androlls over to the window to catch a few winks.The American persists and explains that the game is easyand a lot of fun.He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, youpayme $5, and vice versa."Again, the Indian declines and tries to get some sleep.The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer,youpay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."This gets the Indian's attention and, figuring there will be no end tothistorment, agrees to the game.The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from theearthto the moon?"The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5billand hands it to the American."Okay," says the American, "Your turn."So the Indian asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes downwith four legs?"The American thinks about it. No answer.Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searchesall his references. No answer!He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searchesthe Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends andco-workers.Checks the input. All to no avail!Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500.The Indian thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks,

"Well, what's the answer?"Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the American$5,and goes back to sleep!

WOMAN AND GODA middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.While on the operating table she had a near death experience.Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live"

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color.

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"(You'll love this!!!).....................God replied,"I didn't recognize you."

Once upon a time in a village in India , a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10.

The villagers seeing there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.The man bought thousands at $10, but, as the supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts. The man further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now act as buyer, on his behalf.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: ' Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when he returns from the city, you can sell them back to him for $50. '

The villagers squeezed together their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!

Now i can feel you shadows,Now i can feel your strength,I jump to your neighbor,And then to your chest,My dagger cuts your throat,You are dead,It was fast,As you body sway,You didn't know who i am,I am the Warrior,I have never lost my day .....

A young attractive teenage college girl received a love letter from herclassmate. It was as follows:

My dear Swapna,Please answer the following questionnaire. You will get 10 marks for (a), 5marks for (b) and 3 marks for (c). If you have scored more than 40, then youlove me. Don't delay to express it. If you have scored between 30 and 40,love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you havescored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because(a) you always like to see me smiling(b) you are testing whether I like jokes(c) you are attracted by my smile

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stoppedsinging because(a) you are so coy to sing before me(b) my presence influenced you(c) you feared whether I'd like your song

4) When you were showing your nude child photo, when I asked for it, you hidit because(a) you felt ashamed(b) you felt uneasy if I would imagine you nude(c) you don't know

5) During trekking, my friend and myself gave you hand for lifting you. Youtook only my friend's because(a) you enjoyed my disappointment(b) you won't feel like leaving my hand after grabbing(c) you don't know

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus.(a) You were waiting for me(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus(c) that bus was crowded

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because(a) I am going to be their son-in-law(b) you just wanted to know what your parents think about me(c) you just felt like introducing me to them

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with arose on your head because(a) to fulfill my wish(b) you like roses(c) by chance you got a rose

9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at6:00 AM because(a) you want to pray along with me(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual

Eagerly awaiting the result of Love Exam- Aakash

Swapna's reply letter was also in Q/A format.

Aakash,Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class,sees them(a) Yes(b) No

2) If a girl laughs and sees anyone, is it love?(a) Yes(b) No

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stopsinging or not?(a) Yes(b) No

4) I was showing the photo to my friends who are girls. You poked you noseinside....right?(a) Yes(b) No

Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"

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A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"

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A sardar was drawing money from ATM,

The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

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Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!

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Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........

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Santa Singh MBBSAfter finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!

Troubles as light as Air, love as deep as Ocean, Friends as Solid as Diamonds, and Success as bright as Gold... These are the wishes for you and your family on the eve of Diwali and EID. Eid ki Mubarakbadi aur Diwali ki Shubhkamana!.

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For this, is a special time when familyAnd friends get together,for fun.Wishing laughter and fun to cheer your days,In this festive season of diwali and always!!!!!!!!“Happy Deepavali”.

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As the candlelight flame,Ur life may always be happiness' claim;As the mountain high,U move without sigh;like the white linen flair,Purity is always an affair;As sunshine creates morning glory,fragrance fills years as flory;with the immaculate eternal smile,attached to u mile after mile;All darkness is far away,As light is on its way;Wish all of u a very happy diwali.

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If u want to become a great man in the world. Spend urlife like a candle. HAPPY DIWALI:;Memories of moments celebrated together.... ...Moments that have been attached in my heart, forever..... ..Make me Miss You even more this Diwali.Hope this Diwali brings in Good Fortune & Abounding Happiness for you!HAPPY DIWALI.

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Deepawali SMS: A warm Diwali wish for every happiness. May the warmth and splendor, that are a part of this auspicious occasion, fill your life with happiness and bright cheer, and bring to you joy and prosperity, for the whole year.