This blog is meant for the advancement, redemption, and self actualization of those who suffer from and are susceptible to bullying. Through the Four Pillars and their progeny, we can move forward and become the men we were meant to be!

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Monday, October 14, 2013

Close Platonics

Hey All - here it is.

Started writing this one on the iPhone app, to whence it went I heard 'nary a clap . . . .

Yes, that was lame, but you get my drift. Back to the drawing board . . . .

Over the course of my now-lengthy lifespan, I've had many platonic female friends. The way my life has developed, I now have more of them than I do guy friends. I'm happy with this, because many of them are actually better friends than my guy friends are.

However, a subset has formed within this group. An elite and secret club . . . so secret that the members may not have actually known each other. These are my Close Platonics.

Close, meaning that they are only platonic because there is an impenetrable and immovable barrier that prevents my relationship with them from being anything more than platonic, and but-for that barrier, we might have bonded in ways that Nicholas Sparks could write about it. But that barrier remains, although the feelings would prefer otherwise/

With these women, I've shared deep and personal thoughts -- so deep that I don't even post them here -- and they've done likewise with me. Bonds have developed over the years, notwithstanding those barriers, and feelings have developed too. It's frustrating, but at the same time joyous, to know that those feelings are mutual, despite the fact that they will never be acted upon. So even if I am hemmed in, and blocked from my honest desires, I can still enjoy what is available, and not take it for granted.

The "Friend Zone" is not the place every man hopes to be. When you're there, it's easy to assume that you've been placed there because someone else thinks you're not good/rich/strong/cool/badass enough, but they feel sorry you, so you get the consolation prize. Sometimes that's true, which is sad, but sometimes it's not. Sometimes the friendship is there for a good reason, and if those barriers were lifted, the further relationship that's desired might not have been such a good one. Or maybe those barriers actually make the friendship stronger than it would be without it, sort of like an extra reinforcement.

So, to my Close Platonics, I'm thankful that I have you in my life. It makes me happy to know that we have the bond we do, and that we can tell each other damn near everything because of it. In some parallel universe, or maybe in several of them, we're living fantasy lives where the barriers don't exist, and it's nice to imagine how those lives might have unfolded, but here in this life, the barriers are firmly in place, where they're needed. I accept that.

In acknowledging these limits, there is further development of emotional maturity. Accepting the things we cannot change, etc. It is far better to have this maturity developed and encouraged by a close friendship, chaste though it may be, than it is by animosity and innuendo. And so gentlemen, even if you are relegated to the "Friend Zone," you can upgrade it to a Close Friend Zone. You can assuage your feelings of frustration with the knowledge that within the limits set by others, there is still much to be gained.

DISCLAIMER: The identities of my Close Platonics are being withheld out of respect for their privacy. If you are one of them, you should be able to recognize yourself. But if you have a question in this regard, please message me privately.