Would you discipline someone else's kids?

What would you do if you were watching someone else child and they were misbehaving? Is it okay to discipline them?

40 Answers

By Terri Frye
- Posted on Sep 20, 2011

2013

I have and will continue doing so. Sometimes while out at the park the kids in our neighborhood come to the park without their parents. Some of the kids think that because no parent is around it gives them free license to do whatever they want which includes being rude and bullying other children. If while at the park I see a child being over the top rude or bullying I do step in and verbally reprimand the child . If the parent has a problem with it I have NO PROBLEM with them coming down to the park to talk to me about it. In my opinion I think too many people these days turn a blind eye to rude behavior and bullying. I think that is part of the problem with the number of children that are rude and disrespectful- they are not called out and made accountable.

41

By Cori Yee
- commented on Sep 21, 2011

420

I agree with you completely!

By Stefanie Miles
- commented on Nov 15, 2011

1312

Alright!!! Someone who's old school. Keep up the good work.

By brenda button
- commented on Nov 23, 2011

05

I agree with you completely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Michelle Tait
- commented on Mar 2, 2012

641

I couldn't have said it better. Nice!

By Julie Lachance
- commented on Mar 22, 2012

00

I agree! The kids in our neighborhood, know that I will not put up with bad behavior, but they also know they can come and talk to me about anything and they have respect for me. I am a strict but loving mom, and I love children in general, but any kid knows coming into my neighborhood and house means rules and if you don't follow you will have to leave.

By whole
- commented on Oct 12, 2012

00

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I have disciplined others' children when their parents were not present. I think it is every parent's responsibility to disicipline/teach all children who need it. If my child was misbehaving, I would hope my friend or another responsible adult would show the decency to discipline my child. I do not believe in spanking a child, but use a consequence method. I also do not believe in belittling or bullying children. I would hope that others would not yell, spank, or use any form of negative discipline towards my child. I do welcome talking, taking away privileges, removing my child from immediate danger or harm, etc. Stopping a child from bad behavior is necessary. We just have to remember appropriate ways to discipline.

15

By whole
- commented on Oct 12, 2012

00

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By Diane Arbogast
- Posted on Sep 21, 2011

206

Yes,when appropriate. I was at a friends home once for a lunch. The other couple invited had children who were running and misbehaving in the house. They were out of control and the parents did nothing and said nothing. The (home) children were not allowed to do what these children were doing. In a very respectful and quiet way, the (home) mother stopped these children and explained that this was not proper behavior in their home. Their children were expected to treat their home with respect and not allowed to do what they were doing. Out of respect for her children she could not allow them to continue. These children settled down beautifully. I, Mentally, applauded her.

10

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- commented on Oct 12, 2012

00

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By Lolly Spaide
- Posted on Sep 20, 2011

315

If someone else's child or mine is in harms way both physically or emotionally ...yes I would discipline them and if I knew the family I would also let the parents know! It takes a village!

9

By LeAnne Struble
- Posted on Sep 23, 2011

57

At my children's bus stop, some older children were trying to get the younger children to do things that could put them in harms way or just hurt their feelings. I stepped in and stopped it. When asked by another parent if I believed my actions were ok, my answer was I would rather a parent be mad at me because I pointed out their child's bad behavior than a parent be mad at me because I stood by and did nothing and their child was hurt.

I think it is the responsibility of the adults to teach children right from wrong. If the parent is not there, or there but not available at the moment to teach (discipline) then I think others should. I hope my children understand that not only I require decent behavior but the world requires it. We can only do that by working together. I hate that this issue always gets turned around to make someone look bad. It is such an easy answer. Let children know that what they are doing is not allowed. I really can't see how a mother would be offended by such a comment. There is no voice raising and definitely no touching needed to convey that message to their children.

8

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- commented on Oct 12, 2012

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By Erica Thornburg
- Posted on Sep 22, 2011

375

Yes, I will. If I see a child doing something that could hurt them or someone else, I will stop them. If I see them being mean or rude to someone else, I correct them. I would not spank someone else's child, but I will verbally reprimand them. I also tell their parent's so that they know what was going on and why I said something to them and what I said to them. Our children need us to do this for them.

3

By Latesha Van
- Posted on Oct 1, 2011

00

I surely would reprimand he/she especially if that child's behavior is bothering other children. There are just way too many instances where children are being subjected to bulling from other children and if another parent just stands by and allows it, the we/they are a part of the problem. Now a days kids have that attitude of "you can't tell me anything because you are not my parents!" Well guess again YES I CAN AND I WILL BECAUSE I AM THE ADULT!! Its our job the protect as well as teach, not let them figure everything out on their own.

2

By Cori Yee
- Posted on Sep 21, 2011

420

It is definitely okay if you're watching them. It's part of watching them. However, if it's not your kids, there should be no spanking. That's asking for trouble. Reprimands, time outs, etc., are fine and expected.

2

By Roxanne McCarthy
- commented on Sep 21, 2011

610

Spankings no. I would never spank another persons child, heck I don't even do that to my step daughter. She is my step-daughter, so if it ever came to that, it would be up to her dad, not me.

By Roxanne McCarthy
- Posted on Sep 21, 2011

610

Yes I would and I have. If I am watching my neighbors son and he gets out of control, I will place him in time out, or make him go into the corner. He is 6 years old and can at sometimes have a very bad temper. He hit my step daughter once, and he went to the corner then we had a long talk about hitting afterwards. I told his mom what happened and what I did. She said as long as I am taking care of him and he does things like that I have her permission to place him in a corner or make him sit at the table for time out.

2

By Stacy Wendt
- Posted on Sep 20, 2011

80

If I'm watching them, I think that's expected. I certainly expected it of my child care providers, as I do of my kids' teachers, etc. Verbal reprimands, time outs, you're going to bed right now!, etc. Discipline is part of the job.

Now, there are fun and nice ways to do this. I was babysitting my niece many years ago, and she had a tantrum. I just got down on the floor, kicked my feet and explained I had many more years experience. She laughed, problem averted.

If they're visiting or something, a bit different. If things get out of hand, I just explain you stay so long as everyone gets along, which is really my overall rule for other people's children. I don't need to make them do their chores or practice piano; they just need to be nice. Generally when it's pointed out they get along or go home, they choose to get along. Some days, I wish I could do that with mine!

2

By Kathleen Schotto
- Posted on Sep 20, 2011

37

If their parents entrusted them to my care - then yes I certainly would. My sons' friends know that there are rules in our house that might be different from their home and that they need to abide by those rules. The same goes for my sons. If they are visiting a friend I expect that they will do what is asked/expected of them and that they will listen to the adults there. If they don't....I fully expect that the adults will discipline them.

I would never spank another persons child, as I dont even use spanking for my own child, but if someone elses child was left in my care, in my house, that child would follow my house rules, and I would chastise the child the same as I would my own if the need should arise.
I know some parents today would get upset about this, but I think kids need to learn to respect their elders and understand that when they are in somebody elses house, they need to follow the rules of that household.

I never turn a blind eye to bullying and nastiness from other children either. If I am out with my son and he is treated unfairly or hit by another child, i will not hesitate to yell in that childs face, to get away, and if the childs parent overhears and gets off their lazy un-attentive butt to say something to me, thats fine, they will get a mouthfull too. You have to stick up for your kids, and defend them when they need it.
Dont get me wrong, I am the first person to pick up on any bully-type behaviour coming from my son as well, and I dont allow it.

1

By Cindy Stedman
- Posted on Oct 13, 2011

18934

I would never spank any one Else's child,but I would get on to them if they did or said something that was a no no. Just a few days ago I was hanging with a friend who lets her child run all over her. They were in my car and the child kept talking back to the mom, My son who is 5 knows that is a very big no no and he told this child my mom will spank you. I pulled over and told this child that I would get my paddle out if he didn't apologize to his mom ( I would never lay my hand on him) . I was just hoping he's get the point and he did. He told his mom that he was sorry and we went on our way down the road. If you are with me and you can't handle your child I will say something and if you don't like it then don't hang with me. I am not a really strict parent,but my son knows that you respect others and say your manners and if you choose to have a melt down do it at home not in public or it will not be good. I know kids will act up and miss be have and I know he will have a melt down just as much as I have bad days. When parents let there kids walk all over them then and do nothing that's when you are creating a thing and most likely setting your child up to get them selves into some trouble some day.

1

By Emily Wydendorf
- Posted on Oct 3, 2011

00

Yes, I would to a certain degree of course. I have to do this a lot when my 5 yr old son has his friend over play. They can get a little rough with eachother, etc. but I think you have to have a mutual respect with the friends parents. When my son goes to their house I would expect them to displine him (to a certain degree). I would also hope that the parents would tell me or call me if he gets really out of control.

1

By sonora
- Posted on Sep 14, 2011

173

yes i would if they were being bad

1

By Dawn Devoe
- commented on Sep 20, 2011

414

No way. One parent's method of dicipline could be considered abusive to another parent. I would simply let the parent know in front of the childwhat the rules are and thatthe child broke the rule. It's the parent's job to ensure it doesn't happen again. As a step mom, former child care provider, and mom who has raised 3 kid, I found that this was the best approach.

By Roxanne McCarthy
- commented on Sep 21, 2011

610

I have told him rules in front of his mom and I have had to say something to him in front of his mom while they were here visiting. He does not listen to her at all. Very rude, and mean. He will not do anything she tells him to do, he can be very defiant towards her. My step daughter doesn't even act this way and she has ADHD. But when another child hits another child and you are taking care of them you have to do something. I do place him in the corner for about 2-3 minutes and then I will talk to him calmly about what he did and why he was placed in the corner, or made to have a sit in time out. I want him to understand that he cannot hit people, girls or boys because it is wrong to do that.

By sonora
- commented on Jan 1, 2012

173

I have had some very mean kids say bad things to my son & teasing him when he was only 2 1/2 And they were much older with parents that never did anything about it or just deniged that there children would do that.. i cought the boy outside my patio door teasing my son (my son was inside w/baby gate in the doorway), sticking his tounge out & mean faces & tricking/teasing my son with a ball, I would never physically discipline..mine or anyone elses but I yelled at him and told him he was being very bad for teasing a toddler when he was about 7, i said shame on you for acting so discusting & picking on someone so much smaller than him...

By sonora
- commented on Jan 1, 2012

173

also Dawn / Roxanne.. there are alot of parents that will not stop their kids from being severly innapropriate.. and i cannot let older children pic on my son. my son would never do that.. it is horrible dealing with parents that dont care- but if they will not tell there children something..i will if it comes to that

It's difficult in every situation but especially in that situation.
I would never discipline someone else kid because that's just not me. I do not even discipline my step son. He is a spoil kid and is setting a bad example for my children which upsets me but I do not even have the courage to yell at him. I would say no and that's usually all.
If I was in your shoe, I would never discipline them since I am just watching over them.

My daughter loves nothing more than to see me give another child "the look". The universal mom "look" that we all know. I'm not really a kid person... I love my own, but I don't have much tolerance for other children. Especially loud, hyper, wild, non-listening children who are left to their own devices at the playground. I have and will continue to give "the look" and speak sternly to any child that crosses the line with my child. I understand that kids will be kids. But I will not sit by and watch avoidable disasters happen. Case and point - My daughter and I were at McDonalds enjoying a lovely Saturday morning with pancakes and the playground. There was another couple there with a 2-3 year old little girl and a brand new baby... doing the same as us. In walks two little boys, 6-7 years old, along with their uninterested nanny. They hit the ground running... literally. Took their shoes off and then began to toss the shoes back and forth to each other. Inching closer and closer to the new baby with each toss. The parents of the baby looked very concerned because it was just a matter of time. We all looked over to the nanny who was buried in her phone and couldn't be bothered. Finally, I had had enough. "HEY! That's enough with the shoes!! Do you understand me boys?!?! Yes ma'am? (answering for them)" They nodded. The parents of the baby flashed a look of appreciation. Nanny never looked up.
All that to say this, YES! I am a firm believer in stepping in. If the parents don't like it, leave... and take your disruptive brats with you. I refuse to be ruled or held hostage by someone else's misbehaving child. Respect for adults and consideration for those around you needs to be taught to children and some parents. Children want boundaries, they want to know what is socially acceptable, and they want to know where the bar is set. And if you're not interested in teaching your child where the line is, believe me I will.

I just wrote a blog post about this today. I hope you enjoy the read and my point of view http://www.samcamerononline.com/when-is-it-ok-to-discipline-other-peoples-children/

0

By Audrey Blackwood
- Posted on May 24, 2013

60

I discipline other kids if I have the parents direct permission to do so, if I don't have permission then I'll march them to their parents and explain what ever it was that happened.

0

By Ev
- Posted on May 7, 2013

8,2037

In the past I and a friend of mine have done this to each other's kids whether or not we are both with the kids or just one of us is. We have similar rules in our homes and thus if my kids do not behave she has say over what is done and if I am there I back her up and she backs me up. But our kids are pretty much grown up now. But what about the times you are out at the mall or an arcade or somewhere and see kids misbehaving and no adult is around, what then?

0

By shawn white
- Posted on Dec 9, 2012

00

no men dont know their own strenth ,i think and explaining the concacuences

This is a very delicate situation. Some parents don't mind having their child reprimanded by another adult, but others think it is stepping over a boundary. I try and approach this situation carefully. For instance, I was once at a park filled with little kids. My own 4 and 3 year olds were playing along with all the other children. There happened to be a group of probably 8-10 year old boys in the park as well. The older boys were playing a game that required them to throw acorns at each other while running through the park. Immediately, I went into park Mom mode and asked the boys to move their game to an adjacent grass area, where little kids wouldn't get hit with the free flying acorns. Should the parents of the group of boys maybe stepped up and made the same suggestion I did, maybe? I never hesitate to get involved if it is a safety issue. Another instance, was when my son had a play date over to our house. My son's friend was very fond of inappropriate language, and for a 5 year old he clearly had mastered the finer four letter words. Upon hearing this little boy spout off a few things, I called him into the living room and kindly let him know that if he continued to use that kind of language he would need to sit in time out. Once I explained that the rules at our house are no inappropriate talk, he seemed to be okay with the rules. But alas, self control is difficult to learn. Some four letter word came echoing down the hall, and I immediately put the little boy in time out. I treated him with kindness and respect, as I do my own child, but I also made it clear the rules are the rules. We didn't have anymore problems with language that afternoon. When his Mom arrived to pick up the little boy, I explained what had happened and how I handled it. The Mom was thankful that I let her know, and that I handled it appropriately.
I speak up to other people's children, because I want people to speak up to mine. I don't want my child acting up, without consequence. So, yes, I would discipline someone else's child.

0

By amanda stoughton
- Posted on Aug 6, 2012

8329

YUP I do all the time

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By Jenni Plante
- Posted on Aug 3, 2012

2322

Yes I discipline the kids I babysit. If they don't listen I give them up to 2 warnings then it's time out. But I also tell the parents beforehand that I will discilpine them like they are my own kids that way everything is fair. I can be strict but that's only because the kids I watch can be vicious and I have a one year old

0

By crystalina Kman
- Posted on Jul 22, 2012

2038

You're in charge. Your rules. I won't spank, but I will absolutely put in time out. My mommy face is pretty effective as well.

0

By Elizabeth Kator
- Posted on Jul 12, 2012

996

Yes I would. I have been in this position, more than once. I have permission from the parent of course,but most parents tell me in advance, if she misbehaves , do what you feel you need to, and if she is out of hand, give me a call. I have never had to discipline any of my little girls friends, but I have had to discipline my older boy's friend. Which I am not sure why I had to do that when he KNOWS I have his dad on speed dial. Anyway, I feel that if a child is under your roof, they are under your rules, and your protection. You break the rules you suffer consequences, just as if you lived here. Plus I feel that if I let someone else's child break all the rules and do nothing, I am sending a very contradictory message to my own kids.

Discipline, yes...tell the parent, yes...if the behavior is chronic..have them back t o your home...no.

0

By Karma Clark
- Posted on Jun 12, 2012

10

I have verbally reprimanded other people's kids who weren't watching thier own kid who were being very rude and inappropriate with my 3 yr old. It takes a village to raise a child, and I believe its true! Right on and more power to all the moms who do stand up to bullying and misbehaving kids who aren't thier own!!!

0

By Michelle Griswold
- Posted on Apr 29, 2012

10

Well....iiin situatiions were it was my children being bullied i would address the issue with the childs parent if present, and if not present find them...iif my child did something to someone's child i would expect the same.....i broke ties with a 10 yr friendship over her reachin to spank my18 mo old son and missed his butt and hit him in the back, i was furious, and it took everything in my power not to hit her!!!!!

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By Katy Brandes
- Posted on Apr 23, 2012

2273

If the kid is doing something dangerous or speaking inappropriately (i.e. cursing) to other kids, I will say something to her/him. As the old saying goes, "It takes a village to raise a child." I would hope another mom would say something if my kid was doing something dangerous, too. He's not quite old enough to curse, thank goodness.

0

By Michelle Gardner
- Posted on Apr 11, 2012

116

I have always let parents know that any child left in my home or in my supervision will be treated just as I treat my own children and that includes discipline. I have always told them if they don't believe in spanking then don't leave your children with me because I will do it if/when time out and such doesn't work. Now of course you can't do everything you would normally do to a child you don't that is misbehaving say at the park but I would most definitely step in and have.

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By Anonymous
- Posted on Apr 2, 2012

40

I try not to, just because it tends to start fights & arguments; I just tell my son that it's not okay how they are acting. Some kid ran up & hit my son out of the blue, and the parents were sitting right there & watched the whole thing; and I just said that's not nice we don't hit. My son didn't hit the boy back; just avoided him. I guess because I am so protective over my son & I'm always on him about being nice to others I just don't think it's my place to discipline another child. I will pick my child up & remove them from a situation if I have to.

0

By Michelle Tait
- Posted on Mar 2, 2012

641

If you are standing in for a parent it is your duty to do for this child what you would do for your own...

0

By Becky Smith
- Posted on Mar 2, 2012

512

If a parent trusts me to watch their child, then I absolutely will discipline them. If my children are left with someone and not disciplined - chances are very good that I will find someone else to watch them the next time! Children need to know the boundaries - so they push until they find it. In my experience, once a child knows the boundary (especially anywhere other than home!) they will behave and live up to your expectations. At home - those boundaries will be pushed harder and more often. I believe strongly that it takes a village to raise a child!

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By Tammie Baldwin
- Posted on Mar 2, 2012

30

For the most part I tend to let the other parent know what has happened and leave it up to them to deal with as they see fit. If I have to do something I remove the child from everyone and give them some time and space to calm.

0

By Julie
- Posted on Jan 28, 2012

63196

DEFINE Misbehavior -
Often a fit word will remedy the situation -

0

By donahue
- Posted on Jan 11, 2012

125

If I see something happening, I will say something. But I would never spank unless the parent asks me to, or gives me permission to discipline their child. That to me would be crossing a line.

0

By Stefanie Miles
- Posted on Nov 15, 2011

1312

I watch two girls sometimes ages 8 yrs old and 4 yrs old (sisters). The 4 yr old can act a real fool at times with running from you when you call her or she can cry for Mommy for almost an hour non-stop like you've put you hands on her. I tell her Mother of her behavior and she has given me permission to swat her behind, but when it's not your child you have to be very aware of your limitations and be more aware of your own temper and be in control. So, I don't even go there. It's hard when you're not use to being around a child that behaves like that and doesn't listen to you.

0

By Arica Whetstone
- Posted on Nov 9, 2011

3414

I do help my children's father discipline my daughters' half-siblings because their stepmother doesn't do anything, nor does she take care of my children's half-siblings or help my children's father. She does NOTHING. She even complains if she has to watch any of her own children, which is pathetic. I consider myself a second, or more OF, a mother to my children's half-siblings, and have become close to them (their ages are 8, 6, 2, and almost a year). In total, there are 6 children - my 2 daughters, and their 4 half-siblings. The 2 youngest ones don't know me that well, but they do smile when they see me. The older ones always run up to me and can't wait to play or show me a toy, and of course my own daughters love seeing me, as I do, them. I admit the other children may be a little confused since I am not their real mother, but I think they are beginning to realize "She does more with us than our own mom." Just last night, my daughters' half-brother gave me a hug which is rare because he is not an affectionate boy since his own mother would constantly push him away. I do not lay a hand on any of my children, and the most I will do is tell them to go to their dad, or I will get them if they won't listen to come to their father. I try to play around with the other children so they are not afraid of me when I discipline them, but with my own daughters, I'm stricter since I'm their real mother. But I mostly let my children's father discipline the other children. Soon, I will be doing more of it, but I will only do it the same way he does, which involves time-outs and loss of privileges if they misbehave.

0

By Ashton McCary
- Posted on Nov 8, 2011

90

If it also had to do with my kid, bulleying or me then yes, otherwise, I do not care.

0

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