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They blame their wives, girlfriends, partners, mediators. Anyone but themselves. They rationalize. They minimize.

Ray Lopez knows these traits all too well. He runs a program at United Neighborhood Centers that takes batterers - many who are ordered by the court to participate in the program - and tries to rehabilitate them.

"They don't talk about what they did. They talk about, 'My partner did A, B and C, and if she didn't hit me, I wouldn't have to hit her,'â" Mr. Lopez said. "With these guys, it's kind of the excuses that allow them to do this. I don't think there's any one particular answer unfortunately."

Abusive partners in violent relationships share many commonalities. Eighty-five percent of them witnessed or fell victim to domestic abuse growing up. Couple that with any one of the anger, booze, drug and mental health issues that are often present in cases of domestic violence and you have a man struggling to break out of a pattern of abuse.

Almost all of them are there because of a court order, but whether they want to be there or not, the group of 25 men take part in the United Neighborhood Centers of Northeastern Pennsylvania 26-week Domestic Violence Intervention program, which provides individual assessment and focuses on a group education for individuals who are violent to intimate partners.

State of mind

The majority of abusers have a few things in common.

"We actually show them that a lot of these behaviors they have in their relationships have been formed since they were really young," Mr. Lopez said.

Not only does past abuse play a factor, mental health has a role in influencing many of the men's behavior. Many of the men in the program have untreated or unacknowledged mental health problems, he said.

"Depression is very apparent in a lot of them," Mr. Lopez said.

Substance abuse often fuels the flame of domestic violence, said James Roberts, Ph.D., of the sociology and criminal justice department at the University of Scranton.

"Where you find a lot of substance abuse, alcohol and drug problems, you also see domestic violence," he said.

The program

Through the program, abusers are held accountable for their actions, learn about family violence and the dynamics of an abusive relationship, identify the role drugs and alcohol can play on an abusive relationship, learn assertiveness rather than aggression and about the impact domestic violence can have on children.

"We provide them with the tools they need if they wanted to change," Mr. Lopez said. "We have to change their thinking, and it's not easy to do. We show them how their behaviors are abusive, we'll talk about it we'll analyze it, we'll write about it."

Batterers often enter the program embarrassed about what they've done, and fearful of the consequences. They are also angry, agitated and shift the blame away from themselves, Mr. Lopez said.

In group sessions, the participants discuss ways to build respect, trust, support and accountability in a relationship, and are presented with choices they can make in a difficult situation that don't involve abusing the other person. They are taught the basics of compromising and discussion to properly address issues that arise in relationships.

The program also connects abusers to the proper social services for assessment and treatment, such as drug and alcohol counseling.

"I tell these guys, there's good people that do bad things and there are bad people who can go on to do good things. You have a past and something unfortunate has happened, but they don't have to let it define them," Mr. Lopez said.

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