Someone we know is on Wheel of Fortune tonight!

Whenever I tell people I was on Wheel of Fortune, the most common reaction I get is, “That’s awesome! My grandma watches that show every night!”

So, yeah, its not the hippest show you can go on. It’s not cool like Top Chef or Project Runway. It doesn’t have the high kitsch value of Price is Right or the intellectual awe factor of Jeopardy.

The truth is, if you can finish a crossword puzzle or clear 300 points in Scrabble or jeez, play Hangman, you can do OK at Wheel of Fortune.

It’s taken about a year from the time I filled out the online application to my episode finally airing tonight. Each step of the way has been nerve-rackingly stressful, from the auditions to the long wait to be picked as a contestant. The two nights before my taping I didn’t get a wink of sleep, going over it all in my head again and again.

My biggest concern wasn’t really how I’d do on the show. If I could solve at least one puzzle and not look like a complete idiot I would call that a success. My biggest worry was about what I would say when Pat Sajak asked me to talk about myself. I spent two weeks coming up with fake crap to say. A lot of people BS their way through it by saying what they plan or intend on doing, like “I’m GOING to run a marathon”, which c’mon, is a convenient lie. I thought I would say I was learning to play the guitar, which is kind of true since I did memorize the chords to ZZ Top’s La Grange but have yet to put my fingers on the actual guitar strings. I also thought about saying that I write and draw comic books in my spare time to motivate myself in the two weeks before the show to actually do it, but I was far too wound up to pull that off.

The morning of the taping I met all of the other contestants waiting for the shuttle to take us to the studio. We were all about the same age, dressed like we were on our way to church or going to go rep pharmaceuticals. I was the only one in a tie, since the contestant packet they send you to explain rules and wardrobe discouraged anything too flashy. Whatever. My tie had crazy awesome polka dots on it.

On the shuttle over we talked about the previous week’s episodes and our strategies and tactics. You really get to know and like the other contestants in the short amount of time you interact with them. You’d think it would be a hotbed of animosity, seeing as we would soon be going mano a mano for serious cash and prizes. But in fact, everyone was very friendly and chatty, and, as you might imagine, we all had certain qualities in common. I was probably the least outgoing of the group, having to be told several times by the show coordinators to use a “big voice”. But yeah, we were all nerds for Wheel of Fortune in a big way.

A lot of people brought good luck charms that they wanted to share with the rest of us, and I went out of my way not to touch or look in the direction of any of them. I’m opposite superstitious. While we were waiting in the green room, the Wheel of Fortune mascot 5K (http://twitter.com/WOF5K) came out and told jokes and danced for us. Yeah, it was weird, but it got weirder when he let us rub his costume for luck. EVERYONE ran up to get a piece of the good luck action. I couldn’t get out of that situation fast enough.

I wish I could say I got to hang out with Pat and Vanna the whole time but they pretty much stay sequestered while we got our makeup airbrushed onto our faces and took turns practicing spinning the wheel (not as big as you would think). After sitting through four tapings it was finally my turn to go.

A lot of people who’ve gone on game shows call the experience a big blur, say that it goes by fast and it’s over before you know it. But even though I was nervous I was pretty aware and cognizant of the puzzles and kept alert, though I had to consciously remind my body to cooperate. I’d compare it to being in a giant mech battlesuit like in Robot Jox or something. The tiny smart guy in the cockpit piloting the clumsy droid to spin and solve. Does that make any sense? Probably just me.

Anyway, the show airs tonight, so all the suspense about how I did will finally be over. Tell your grandma to watch — trust me, she’ll be happy for me.