When It Rains, He Gropes – November 16, 2011

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

• Thursday, October 6 8:13 p.m. Nothing was stolen from an unlocked car at 15th and H streets, though it had been thoroughly rifled. The intruder actually left some items behind and had apparently spent the night in the back seat of car. Some of the stuff in the car was soaking wet.

9:03 p.m. A woman with a knife at 15th and G streets made a funny joke about wanting to harm herself with the serrated knife she had.

9:49 p.m. After a driver didn’t strike a loose dog while going 10 mph at Arial Way and Lorelei Lane, he said a man in an older white SUV pulled up alongside him and said, “If you would have hit my dog, I would track you down and kill you.” The dog owner had a bit of a different spin to the story, stating that the driver had been going 30 mph and that the warning was that he’d told the the driver he would be “done,” not dead.

• Friday, October 7 7:15 a.m. A lower H Street resident reported being “dosed” with LSD and that he was having a heart attack. When police arrived, he said he was having more of a panic attack than a lysergical conundrum.

• Saturday, October 8 6:12 a.m. A woman called from San Diego to ask police to meet her son at a market for a civil standby at a nearby residence. The lad was embroiled in a dispute with four women who live at the house over his residency there. At the invitation of one of the women, he had stayed there for more than a month, had a key, got mail there and had contributed money toward bills. Although one woman was trying to oust him over an ongoing dispute, it seemed he had established residency and couldn’t be turned away.

11:10 a.m. A 99-year-old man went missing at Ninth and G streets for a few minutes.

1:05 p.m. A man with a duffle bag asked a passerby for a cigarette at the Post Office, and when he was refused, ol’ duffle-scruff went all aggro on him.

10:03 p.m. An honest person found an HSU student’s fatty wallet on F Street. It and its credit card contents were taken to UPD for pickup by the lucky student.

11:11 p.m. A large party at a Baldwin Avenue apartment complex featured 50 persons, the principal amusement of which seemed to be the breaking of bottles.

• Sunday, October 9 2:15 a.m. A man pulled three bulging ziploc bags of pot out of his trunk and headed purposefully into an Alliance Road apartment complex.

9:44 a.m. A neighbor heard a boy yell, “Mom, help me! I’m bleeding!” Police were called to the scene, where they found a lad who had been trying to wash the cat in the shower, got scratched and being “slow,” as his brother put it, had overreacted.

4:50 p.m. A purse left in plain sight in a car at 11th and G streets was smash-and-grabbed.

6:54 p.m. A man in a parked car with its engine running outside the Plaza bars hung his head out the window and puked several times. The vomit-volcano was arrested on a public drunkenness charge.

• Monday, October 10 7:46 a.m. While “the believability of the incident was limited,” according to the limited narrative in the dispatcher log, the details are sufficiently lurid to mandate retelling. A man said that he and his girlfriend had crashed at this guy’s house to get out of the rain. The previous night, their host had touched his genitals, which he allowed for a while. When he asked the man to stop diddling with his gen-pack, he did, only to turn up the music real loud. At some point the couple’s touchy-feely mentor also groped his girlfriend. Asked why they had stayed for two nights in a place where they didn’t feel safe, the caller said, “Because it was raining.”

9:33 a.m. A man said a neighbor’s 12-year-old son built an animal trap which he used to catch and kill his cat.

11:52 a.m. A medieval festival’s banner was stolen from a West End Road fence.

2:45 p.m. A man and woman in the Uniontown parking lot were seen sitting and smoking in a car with the windows rolled up as a baby coughed helplessly in the back seat.

• Tuesday, October 11 6:19 a.m. A man locked himself in the bathroom of a downtown donut bar and called police, pleading for officers to hurry over because people were going to shoot him.

6:46 a.m. The man again called to complain that people were trying to kill him.

12:02 p.m. A ponytailed man in overalls creeped out Westwood Center personnel by alternately pacing and staring at shop workers for hours. Police advised him of the complaint.

1:18 p.m. When a man pulled up to the stop sign at 14th and G streets, another man in an SUV asked him to roll down his window. When he did, the SUV guy told him he had audio equipment for sale cheap, and that he should pull into the gas station. The man did, and the salesman, who gave his name as “Cameron W.,” supposedly a representative of “Sound Audio,” offered him speakers that he said were worth $2,200 for just $420. The man bought the speakers, but when he got home he Googled the info and found that he had been scammed. He didn’t get fast-talking Cameron’s license plate.