Archive for February, 2014

Many of the Arizona State Legislators reconsidered their support of the Senate Bill 1062 (which was passed by both chambers of the state legislature), and Governor Jan Brewer vetoed it because she and they realized it would have a negative effect on business, tourism and the next Super Bowl.

How about rejecting it for the simple reason it was MORALLY REPUGNANT!!!

“If I had a prayer, it would be this: ‘God spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation. Amen.'”

Byron Katie

If love, approval and appreciation are what you look for, you can be guaranteed failure. Yet how many of us spend a great part of our lives worrying about what others think about us?

We live by some imaginary standard set by others’ opinions and constantly question ourselves . . . “Are these the right clothes? Should I speak up? Will I fit in? Are they laughing at me? Do I look stupid? What will people think if I fail. . .if I make a mistake?”

It’s a fearful way to live and even worse, you completely lose yourself. You don’t know what you stand for, you have no convictions and no clarity or direction. You let others dictate how you live your life, what you wear and how you act. You lose all ability to think for yourself.

This can become an obsession and we can soon find ourselves consumed by trying to do things perfectly in order to please everyone. We find ourselves desperately wanting others to perceive us as valuable and important and our lives become molded by how we think someone else perceives us. We DO whatever we think will earn us praise and respect.

What you don’t realize is that the very people you are trying to impress are worried to death about what you think of them! They probably aren’t thinking about you at all and are far too consumed with their own shortcomings to be cognizant of yours. Unless you have had a direct impact on their lives, either positively or negatively, they probably aren’t going to give you too much thought. They are too busy thinking about themselves.

Do you have a problem remembering someone’s name when you’re introduced? If so, it’s probably because you’re thinking more about what they are thinking of you and how you look, than you are about focusing on them and simply remembering their name. And they are doing the same!

I recently read a study by the National Science Foundation that claims people have an average of 50,000 thoughts a day. That means, if someone actually thought about you 10x in one day, it would only be .02% of their daily thoughts. How’s that for a blow to the old ego?

We spend our time wanting others to perceive us as valuable, yet we let them determine our self-worth, self-confidence and self-esteem. We keep DOING what we think others want. But why? It only causes us anxiety and likely has very little effect on others. We need to let go of our egos, stop worrying what others think and live from our values.

Know what you stand for and live it. Know what you think and speak it. Know who you are and act it. BE loving, BE approving, BE appreciative and you will be a valued treasure beyond measure.

“Forget about enlightenment. Sit down wherever you are and listen to the wind that is singing in your veins. Feel the love, the longing, and the fear in your bones. Open your heart to who you are, right now, not who you would like to be. Not the saint you are striving to become. But the being right here before you, inside you, around you. All of you is holy. You’re already more and less than whatever you can know. Breathe out, look in, let go.”

“No matter how hard you work on the wrong thing . . . it makes no difference.”

Martha Borst

There once was a poor man who led a donkey every day across the border from one kingdom to another. The border guards suspected he was smuggling something, so each day as the man passed the border, they carefully searched the man and the donkey’s saddlebags, but they never did find anything.

After awhile, the man starts to wear more expensive clothing and buys a large house. The border guards redouble their efforts to inspect the man and his donkey closely because they now are certain the man is smuggling something. But in their daily searches of the man and the saddlebags, they never come up with anything but straw.

After 30 years of this daily routine, one of the border guards retires. One day when the retired border guard is walking across the street, he runs into the man and says, “Listen, I am no longer a border guard and I can no longer hurt you. I promise I will never tell anyone, but just for my peace of mind, please tell me what you have been smuggling all those years.”

The man replies, “Because I know that you can no longer arrest me, I will tell you. I was smuggling donkeys.”

Buddhist Parable

Enlightenment happens when a simple honest truth appears, a truth that has been in front of us all the time, but which we completely missed because we were so focused on our own agenda.

Finding this truth opens our minds and gives us access to entirely new possibilities, which in turn, gives us the opportunity to produce more effective results.

What if . . . what I think is the problem isn’t the problem at all?

What if . . . what I think is the solution isn’t the solution at all?

What if . . . the way I’m looking at an issue is actually part of the problem?

Just like the guards, so intent on being right that the man was smuggling goods they completely missed the obvious truth that he was smuggling the donkeys, so too do we focus on our own views, opinions and judgments and completely miss the reality and truth right in front of our eyes.

So if you’re struggling with something, STOP. Step back. Take another look. Ask yourself, “If the way I have it all figured out isn’t it . . . then what could it be?”

Maybe. . .

“Maybe…the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.

Maybe…when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don’t even see the new one which has been opened for us.

Maybe…it is true that we don’t know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don’t know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe…the happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way.

Maybe…we meet the wrong people before we meet the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe…giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it doesn’t, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe…you shouldn’t go for looks; they can deceive; don’t go just for money, for money alone will never make you happy. Go for someone who makes you smile and makes your heart happy; someone who when you’re with them, you feel wonderful about yourself.

Maybe…you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of and want to do.

Maybe…there are moments in life when you miss someone – a parent, a spouse, a friend, a lover, a child – so much that you just want to pluck them from your dreams and hug them for real.

Maybe…you should always try to put yourself in others’ shoes. If you feel something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

Maybe…you should do something nice for someone every single day – (and sometimes make it anonymous,) even if it is to just say “hello” or “thank you” with a smile.

Maybe…you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.”

Author Unknown

Maybe…if you completely surrender and accept that everything that is entering your life, no matter how bad it seems at the time, is really a gift, there to support you to grow and evolve, then you will have what you truly want – love, joy, peace, and happiness.