Freshen Up Your Foreplay

My husband and I took swing dance classes once. It took us a while to get the basic steps down, leaving little opportunity to add much else to our repertoire. So while we can swing dance a bit, it’s mostly a 1-2-3-4 count in our heads and not a lot of flare. Although we enjoy getting out on the dance floor, it would be fun to freshen up our footwork.

Do you feel that way about sexual foreplay in your marriage? Like you’ve got your moves down, but you revisit the same 1-2-3-4 steps again and again? How can you freshen up your foreplay?

Get Romantic. Add some romance to your repertoire. What sexual moves convey l’amour?

Turn on music and dance, a slow dance that arouses your senses and melds your bodies.

Give each other body massages or a sensual massage of your private areas. Find a massage lotion or oil you like, especially one with aromatherapy elements.

Take a bubble bath together. Spend time in one another’s arms soaking in the tub or soap one another up.

Introduce food into your sexual play, with anything from feeding one another strawberries, to teasing with whipped cream, to licking off edible body paint.

Light candles and set the mood for a beautiful night of lovemaking.

Wear something romantic, like a peignoir set (that’s the silky nightgown with matching robe), and dab on a little perfume.

Get Creative. Where haven’t you had sex that you’d like to? What positions haven’t you tried? What activities have piqued your interest that you’d like to give a go?

Get away from the bed for a bit. Head to the privacy of your garage and “make out” in your car’s back seat or your truck’s bed; pitch a tent in the back yard and get some lovin’ under the stars; or huddle in your closet for a hot-and-bothered session of sex.

Pull a chair into your bedroom and use it try to out a different sexual position — like he sits-you-straddle — or to facilitate a different angle for oral sex.

Grab some props. Gather a few items with texture or temperature — like a feather, heat packs, sensory massage balls, a silk scarf, an ice cube or chilled hard-boiled egg — and take turns exploring the sensations as you touch each other’s bodies with the item(s).

Go blindfolded. Grab bandannas and blindfold yourselves, then feel your way through the foreplay. Let your hands do the talking.

Get Playful. Don’t forget that foreplay can be a playful, even humorous, experience. Welcome mutual laughter into your marriage bed.

Grab a board game and figure out how to make it part of your foreplay. You can play anything from Battleship (sunk ships earn sexual goodies), to Twister (right on red, bodies entangled), to the tried-and-true Strip Poker. There are also many board games for couples focused on sex, including one of my favorites, Bliss. (Note: If there’s an activity in a game you’re not comfortable with, have the caveat you’ll skip that one and try another card/roll/etc.)

Introduce word play into your flirtation and advances. Can you come up with puns or phrases that make you both smile and look forward to lovemaking?

Tickle each other. Yes, tickle. Not the way your big brother did when you were little and you cried “uncle” so he’d stop. But find those places on one another’s bodies that make you smile and giggle just a bit, and then play with them.

Grab a Nerf gun. It’s a good motto for life really: If all else fails, grab a Nerf gun and see how that can improve your mood. Actually. load that baby up with water and squirt away at each other.

Get Spiritual. Have you ever brought God into the bedroom in a big way? How about reminding yourselves how spiritual the sexual experience is?

Pull out Song of Solomon and read through together (it can be quite titillating).

Pray over one another’s bodies; start with the head, then extremities, torso, and finally the pleasure spots – exploring each place sensually, praying over each God-given body part, and then pleasuring that spot thoroughly before moving on.

Think out-of-the-box and come up with your own ideas to freshen your foreplay. Now what fabulous ideas can you share?

And you can find more ideas from me in Sex Savvy: A Lovemaking Guide for Christian Wives.

How’s your sex savvy?

Do you want to be a hottie in the bedroom without sacrificing holiness? Would you like someone to share real-life tips on making the most of God’s gift of sexual intimacy in marriage?

J. Parker of Hot, Holy & Humorous gives candid advice for wives on everything from kissing to oral sex to orgasm to sexual positions — all from a Christian perspective.

Whether you’re a new bride finding her way around that king-sized mattress or an experienced wife who wants that mattress to sing, this book can boost your sex savvy and improve your marital intimacy.

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15 thoughts on “Freshen Up Your Foreplay”

I really like the suggestion of praying over your loved ones body. That sounds romantic even. I can see doing that coupled with massage. Even if you only prayed silently to yourself, it could be a very moving and connecting experience. Thank you for a great post idea. I am working on a massage post and have not been able to complete it for weeks. Perhaps waiting for this post to publish was God’s plan. I kept feeling it was somehow incomplete and not “there,” still too clinical. I now feel very good about how to rebirth it. Thank you again.

One question, J and ladies:

“Wear something romantic, like a peignoir set (that’s the silky nightgown with matching robe), and dab on a little perfume.”

I know most women do not find male nudity as much a turn on as we do female nudity, though I don’t always like equating nudity with sexuality, but what would you have us wear or do that would be romantic and appealing to you. Jockies, boxers or just naked bodies, especially older male bodies, and cologne seems to somehow fail short. See, we too have body image issues. The difference is we are able to get beyond them and strut around the house naked and have sex with the lights on anyway. We wish it were that easy for you.

For me, there is no bigger turn on than hubby showing up wearing only his cologne.
And while he loves lingerie he likes it best lying on the floor, the lingerie that is. 😉 I always say I don’t know why I bother buying it!

To Amy and Dan…..not sure if you’re a couple or. But your comments are nice. Dan … To you I’d say praying over your wife’s body would likely be one of the most moving sexual experiences you could have with her. The ultimate foreplay! I can only dream of that, but maybe someday.
Amy… I like your style and have to admit my wife has similar views.
Thanks to all….

Amy……I’ll keep that in mind. I have a cologne that she loves….I’ll do a dab next time.
One thing my wife does occasionally is to shower then drape herself in a very very sheer flowing gown without toweling off. It clings ever so nicely in areas and still flows in others. Nothing short of goddess stimulation. She has two of them….one white, one pale lavender. 🙂

It’s differen for each woman. I personally would love silky shorts or silky pyjama pants. For me, seeing my husband’s expression and body language, knowing he is getting ready for an special evening together, is the best part.

So good I bought the book for my wife ….who, by the way, is very reluctant to discuss these issues…. I like the topics, the style of writing, and the straightforward simplicity of how the info is presented. JP …thanks..I Hope my wife enjoys as much as I did. I pray she does.