Category: Coffee

NOTE: This review was posted in 2015 when it was a Costco exclusive. In 2016, it’s no longer exclusive to Costco and is available in individual bottles.

If you want to hoard Starbucks Pumpkin Spice drinks so you can enjoy them year round, you either have to freeze Pumpkin Spice Lattes and then later warm them up in the microwave or hit the black market for expired Starbucks pumpkin spice syrup pumps. But this year there’s a third way and it’s available at Costco.

The Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Starbucks Frappuccino Coffee Drink may not be handmade by a Starbucks Barista who wrote PSL on the side of the cup, but because it’s Costco, it’s available in bulk. It’s 12 bottles to be exact. So if you buy a pallet of them, you’ll have enough to last you until next pumpkin spice latte season.

Unlike a pumpkin spice latte you can purchase at a Starbucks location, this version has no pumpkin in it. But it does have an ingredient list short enough that I could type it here to slightly boost the word count of this review: Brewed Starbucks Coffee, Reduced-Fat Milk, Sugar, Skim Milk, Maltodextrin, Cream, Natural Flavors, and Pectin. Mmm…pectin.

At first, I thought the ginger flavor stood out a bit too much for my tastes. I think the coffee makes the spice stand out more. But, since I purchased 12 bottles of the stuff, I’ve had to drink a lot of it. And the more I drink it the more I like it. Perhaps I’m getting Pumpkin Spiceholm Syndrome.

There’s also a little nutmeg, a bit of cinnamon, and a whole lot of sugar in each sip, which makes the beverage really sweet. There’s also a lot of milk too, but it’s not whole milk so it has a thin texture. While I could see it being too sweet for some people, me and my future cavities are fine with it.

The bottle suggests to serve it chilled or over ice, but since I’m a rebel (and have 12 bottles of the stuff), I did some experimenting and warmed up a mug of it in the microwave for 30 seconds. It was wonderful and it reminded me of a pumpkin spice latte. Actually, I think I might prefer it heated over chilled.

A question some of you might be asking is if it’s an adequate replacement for when the Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino is erased from the boards from Starbucks locations for the year. No, of course not. These bottled Frappuccinos are no match flavor-wise for those handmade, wonderful, blended, sweet, and brain freeze-inducing beverages that have a nutritional bio similar to many fast food burgers. But if you’re jonesing for a pumpkin spice coffee drink in February, this’ll do.

Item: Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Starbucks Frappuccino Coffee DrinkPurchased Price: ???Size: 12 pack/9.5 oz bottlesPurchased at: CostcoRating: 7 out of 10Pros: Tastes good chilled or warmed up. Hoardable. Better nutritional bio than a Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino you can get at Starbucks locations.Cons: Ginger flavor might be a bit strong for some. Might be too sweet for some. Available in 12 packs, so if you don’t like it, you’ve got 11 more bottles to go through. Not as delicious as a Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino you can get at Starbucks locations.

If you were to hack into the databases that contain my Safeway and Target purchases, you’d know I buy a lot of International Delight Iced Coffee…and Pepto Bismol. However, because I buy IDIC regularly (yes, I’m too lazy to type its name out, but not lazy enough to type an aside that says I’m too lazy to type its name out), I’ve gotten a little tired of the flavors they have — original, mocha, vanilla, and caramel macchiato.

The overcaffienated folks at International Delight (ID) have a long history of teaming up with other brands to make a variety of coffee creamers that’ll make any burnt office coffee (Except yours, Brad!) taste so much better, like Almond Joy, Cinnabon, Heath, York Peppermint Patty, Cold Stone Creamery, and Hershey’s. And now the jittery employees at ID have done the same with their iced coffee, creating International Delight Cold Stone Creamery Sweet Cream Iced Coffee and Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme Iced Coffee.

The latter combines iced coffee with the flavor of Hershey’s I-Want-To-Say-They’re-Popular-But-I’ve-Never-Seen-Anyone-Buy-Them Cookies ’n’ Creme candy bar. If you’re one of those people who has never purchased a Hershey’s Cookies ’n’ Creme bar, it’s made with white chocolate and tiny chocolate cookie balls. Although I’ve never seen anyone else buy it, I do purchase it on occasion and prefer it over a regular milk chocolate Hershey’s bar because of its flavor and it’s like a bizarro Nestle Crunch bar.

In previous IDIC reviews, I mentioned how the coffee flavor is heavily masked by the cream, sugar, and flavoring, but it’s somewhat noticeable. Well, with International Delight’s Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme Iced Coffee it’s almost nonexistent, getting lost within the chocolate cookie balls flavoring. This causes the creamy beverage to taste more like a cookies ’n’ creme-flavored milk. This will be a problem for those who enjoy the flavor of coffee, but it appears it hasn’t been an issue for me because I’ve purchased three cartons so far. Actually, I don’t know if it’s because I’m tired of the other flavors, but this flavor is now my favorite.

What I like most about International Delight’s Hershey’s Cookies ’n’ Creme Iced Coffee is how they nailed the flavor of the chocolate cookie balls from the candy bar. It’s as if they went the cereal milk route and dumped a bunch of chocolate cookie balls into an iced coffee with a lot of milk and then strained the liquid. The creme doesn’t taste like white chocolate, which is a good thing because I don’t think white chocolate milk would be pleasing.

International Delight’s Hershey’s Cookies ’n’ Creme Iced Coffee is creamy and thick (Thanks cream and carrageenan!) and has a unique flavor that makes it taste like a fancy chocolate milk. A caffeinated fancy chocolate milk, I might add (76 milligrams of caffeine per cup). I’ll definitely be purchasing more with my Pepto Bismol.

Item: International Delight Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Cream Iced CoffeePurchased Price: $4.99 (on sale)Size: Half gallonPurchased at: SafewayRating: 8 out of 10Pros: My favorite International Delight Iced Coffee flavor. International Delight nailed the chocolatey cookie flavor and it’s the most dominant flavor. Thick and creamy (Thanks cream and carrageenan). If it’s like their other flavors, it has 76 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine. Getting to type “chocolate cookie balls” several times in a review.Cons: Drink something else or add more coffee to this if you love the flavor of coffee, because it’s like drinking Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme milk. Still no caffeine content listed on carton.

I have personally ordered maybe four different things at a Starbucks in my lifetime. This is not because I never go to Starbucks, but because I find myself with a crippling stammer and irrational fear every time I approach the register.

My method was usually to ask a friend to order for me, and then order whatever they gave me for the next three years if it was good. I am consistently tempted to ask for a mocha-chocalata-yaya and see what comes out. Forget the “secret menu” guides all over the Internet. I need a manual for navigating the printed one.

The problem is, I can’t really bring myself to like black coffee. I love the smell. I love the energy. I love the idea of permanently staining my teeth in rebellion against my body at a young age. But every time I have a cup I cringe a little and leave most of it sitting there. And, being an ignorant novice coffee drinker, I don’t know how to make anything but black coffee. I’m not sophisticated enough to like the coffee I can make at home, but I’m too afraid to learn how to order anything I might actually like.

I dreamed that these Starbucks Via Lattes would fill this void. I could finally learn to drink a morning coffee like a real adult without having to embarrass myself in front of a barista. The idea of not having to put on pants to get said morning coffee was equally appealing.

I purchased an individual trial pack at Starbucks for a dollar, choosing to try the vanilla over the mocha. I was first shocked by the size of these. They are not your normal instant coffee packet, but probably four times larger.

The instructions are pretty minimal, but include a little infographic that tells you what to do. It seemed pretty straight forward, and I do have a high school diploma, so I assumed I had it under control. I made a cup of hot water with a Keurig machine, dumped the packet in, and stirred. It was not until I finished making it that I realized I was not supposed to pour the powder into the boiling water. So maybe words would’ve been helpful.

I was then surprised by the color. There did not appear to be any coffee granules at all in this pouch. Instead, there was an endless stream of a powdery white substance. Although many do refer to coffee as their crack, so maybe this makes some sense.

This drink was really sweet. And not in the good way of “hot chocolate sweet” or “vanilla milkshake sweet.” It was like a cup of hot, watery milk with six packets of sugar. I was even hoping some more coffee taste would come through, but it was nonexistent. Since the ingredients list both dairy powder and sugar before coffee, I probably should have expected this. But if even I am wishing for some stronger coffee flavor, you know you’ve taken it too far.

I could not finish this. It was intolerably sweet, and this is coming from the girl who will treat frosting as a cookie dip and add extra Oreos to cookies and cream ice cream. Maybe if iced and blended this could make a decent at home Frappuccino? But that seems like far too much work for something coming from an instant package.

This did not solve my coffee dilemmas. My only hope at this point is that Starbucks starts up a delivery service with a tracker like Domino’s so I can order my coffee online without human interaction and know when to put my pants on before it arrives. Until then, you will find me drinking one of my four safe things at Starbucks, dreaming of the day I can join the elite ranks of the people who know how to order drinks with names that take a full minute to say.

Item: Starbucks Via Latte Vanilla LattePurchased Price: $1.00Size: 1 packetPurchased at: StarbucksRating: 3 out of 10Pros: At home convenience. Simple assembly. Generous serving. Not any more sugar than most Starbucks drinks. Confusing baristas with Moulin Rouge references. Good movie stunt double for cocaine. Potential for fancier at home drinks. No pants, still service.Cons: Sickly sweet. Impossible to drink whole cup. Minimal coffee taste. All powdered milk and sugar. Not being able to read picture instructions as an adult. Lack of coffee aroma. Domino’s Pizza Tracker not expanding to other businesses.

Purchased Price: $4.99 eachSize: Half gallonPurchased at: SafewayRating: 6 out of 10Rating: 6 out of 10Pros: Creamy and easy to drink. Not overly sweet like other cartoned iced coffee…I’m looking at you International Delight! Vanilla version tastes marshmallowy. Good source of vitamin E. Contains caffeine. 100 calories per serving. Dairy, soy, and gluten free. Made with non-GMO almonds.Cons: The coffee flavor barely registers on my tongue, even though they have a strong coffee aroma. Mocha version tastes too much like chocolate almond milk. The carton (and Blue Diamond’s website) doesn’t say how much caffeine a serving has, so let’s make up a number until we get the real number…let’s say 6832 milligrams of caffeine. Could use more calcium and vitamin D.

Purchased Price: $3.29Size: 16 oz. (prepared)Purchased at: TargetRating: 6 out of 10Pros: Tastes like a chocolate milkshake. A wonderful sweet treat. Easy to make, if you have an awesome blender. Made with 100% Arabica coffee beans (too bad I can’t really taste them). Makes two 8-ounce servings (if you wish to share) or one 16-ounce serving (if you have no one to share it with). Frozen bits taste good by themselves without being blended.Cons: Tastes like a chocolate milkshake; coffee flavor is hardly noticeable. Coffee is listed tenth on ingredients list. If you have a cheap blender, these might be difficult to blend. Right, cheap Oster blender in my kitchen. BYOWTD (Bring Your Own Whipped Topping and Drizzle).

I don’t go to Starbucks very often. When I do, it’s usually to buy a gift card, use their restroom, or jump on their free WiFi network and be a complete douchebag by trying to slow down everyones’ bandwidth. But when it comes to coffee, Starbucks has given me a few good reasons to not purchase any from one of their bazillion locations.

No, it’s not the taste of their coffee, which coffee snobs describe as, and I’m paraphrasing here, “blech.” No, it’s not the long lines that sometimes snake half way around a Starbucks. The reason why I don’t buy Starbucks coffee from one of their many locations is because I nervously mumble when trying to relay my order to a cute barista and I can buy ready-to-drink Starbucks coffee at my local supermarket, like their bottled iced coffee and new Starbucks Discoveries.

Starbucks Discoveries is a chilled espresso beverage that comes in three flavors — Caffe Mocha, Vanilla Latte, and Caramel Macchiato — and 50.7-ounce cartons, which is significantly smaller than the 64-ounce International Delight Iced Coffee it’s probably sitting next to in the dairy case. Also, unlike the International Delight offering, the carton doesn’t look like a milk carton. Instead, it looks like it was made by an origami master who reached that level by folding a million paper cranes.

Starbucks Discoveries are sweetened with sugar and mixed with reduced-fat milk. They’re sweet, but don’t come close to the sweetness level of International Delight’s iced coffee, which, not surprisingly, has significantly more sugar than Starbucks Discoveries (17 grams vs. 23 grams). Starbucks Discoveries are also noticeably watery, but that’s because they don’t contain the thickening agents found in the International Delight coffee — gellan gum and carrageenan. Well, actually, the Caffe Mocha has carrageenan, but it’s as watery as the others.

If you do pick up a carton of Starbucks Discoveries, I highly recommend you ONLY drink it over ice. Ignore what the side of the carton says about serving it just chilled. Drinking it that way is doing a disservice to your taste buds. I can’t explain why, but for some strange reason, it tastes noticeably better when consumed over ice.

If you’re a hardcore Starbucks fanatic who will never lose your Gold Card because you accumulate 30 stars every two weeks, you may drink Starbucks Discoveries and wonder what is this swill. It’s not as sweet as a hand-crafted Frappuccino, but its coffee flavor isn’t as strong as any iced coffee Starbucks product on their menu.

The Mocha Latte tastes like weak melted chocolate ice cream with a Hershey’s syrup aftertaste, the Caramel Macchiato has a slightly odd caramel butteriness that lingers several minutes after drinking it, and the Vanilla Latte has a hint of vanilla and the strongest coffee flavor of the bunch. If I had to pick a favorite, it would be the Vanilla Latte because I didn’t use a negative adjective when writing about it in the previous sentence.

All three flavors of Starbucks Discoveries were decent and provided approximately 85 milligrams of caffeine per cup, but I’m a bit disappointed because I expected something better from Starbucks. After all, they do sell a krazillion cups of coffee everyday from their bazillion locations.