Straight people can sometimes teach us great lessons by doing queer things. Such is the case with Melissa “the Coach” Thomas, founder and owner of Melissa the Coach, personal finance coach, speaker and author.

NEW YORK, NY - JANUARY 28: Recording artist Sir Elton John performs onstage during the 60th Annual GRAMMY Awards at Madison Square Garden on January 28, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for NARAS)

In December 2009, Thomas and her husband hit rock bottom financially. She was doing her holiday shopping online for her four- and five-year-old when, Thomas says, “I very clearly heard a voice in my head say, ‘You’re doing this wrong.’”

At the time, Thomas and her husband were living paycheck to paycheck with $43,544 worth of debt. It was her dream of meeting Elton John that helped them pay off that debt, become financially independent and go into business for herself.

Hear on this Queer Money™ why finding your Elton John will help you reach your financial dreams:

Hearing your song

While Christmas shopping that year, Thomas was frustrated because her kids knew more about Santa than the meaning of Christmas and, as a Christian, that bothered her. “We were just teaching [our kids] that stuff is more important than experiences.”

While shopping for more things, she realized what the voice inside her meant when it said, “You’re doing this wrong.” She and her husband had no money in savings and were buried in debt. In hindsight, Thomas realizes that she and her husband were making too much money to be that financially insecure, but they weren’t managing their money.

Thomas admits that if she and her husband paid attention to their money prior to hitting rock bottom, they might’ve addressed their problems sooner. But, they didn’t and, though they knew they had debt, they didn’t know how precarious their situation was. “It didn’t occur to us to do anything different than what anyone else we knew was doing,” Thomas shares.

Until then, Thomas says she was confused by the “we can afford the minimum payment” mentality. She didn’t pay attention to the amount of debt they were acquiring. She simply focused on their ability to make minimum payments on their credit cards, car loans and mortgage.

Between 2001 and 2006, Thomas and her husband bought a brand-new car, brand-new house, brand-new truck, had their first son in 2005 and their second son in 2006. With two babies at home, Thomas chose to become a stay-at-home mom.

That was when they made their worst financial decision. “The number one mistake we made,” Thomas says, “was that when I became a stay-at-home mom, we went from two incomes to one income but never changed our lifestyle.”

Through a series of events following her moment of clarity, Thomas was introduced to Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University, which they started on January 1, 2010. One of their first exercises in Financial Peace University is to pick a motivating reason to pay off your debt. Thomas’ husband asked for her reason to become debt-free and she said, “I want to have the money to go to Elton John concerts.”

Finding your yellow brick road

Thomas’ husband wasn’t surprised by her response. She has been a fan of John’s since first hearing her father’s copy of Goodbye Yellow Brick Road as a kid. As she got older, Thomas learned more about John and his passion for his music. She became a bigger fan.

Thomas became a die-hard fan, though, after seeing John perform live when she was 19 years old. It was then that she made a commitment to someday meet him in person. Thomas felt then and still believes that her best chance of meeting John is attending as many of his live shows as possible. Being buried in debt wouldn’t afford her those opportunities, so making her dream a reality became her reason for becoming debt free.

In October 2017, Thomas fulfilled a bucket list item by seeing John live in Las Vegas. At that show, Thomas, among other concertgoers, was brought on stage while John played his piano. Thomas and John shook hands, but to Thomas, that exchange doesn’t mean she met him. To her, meeting John is introducing herself and exchanging words with him.

With John retiring in three years from performing live, hopefully, Thomas will reach her goal. It’s only by being debt free and financially independent that she even has this opportunity and, in the process, amazing experiences.

What would financial independence and being debt free mean to you? Find your Elton John and find out.

After living fabulously the wrong way and accumulating $51,000 in credit card debt, we learned how to be even more fabulous and debt free. Now, we use our personal experience and nearly 30-years of combined financial services experience to talk about the unique financial nee...