Out of the goodness of her heart and not at all to promote the new season, Patti is taking it upon herself to dole out advice to one of the most high profile celebrities who is embarking on a new relationship. Are you listening Jennifer Aniston? Because she’s talking to you about your romance with Justin Theroux!

In a new interview with Radaronline, Patti discusses the new beau of everyone’s favorite Friend. She says of Jen’s new man, “I kind of like him, but here’s my problem — he was with the last girl for 15 or 16 years and one day in walks the girl of his dreams and he says bye, see ya, wouldn’t want to be ya! There’s a karmic payback for that. He’s handsome and he likes her and she likes him, they’ve got good body language, so it’s a matter of what really went down that he jumped ship from this girl he lived with for 16 years, something’s not right there.”

Patti believes that things are moving too quickly for Aniston and Theroux. Stating her own professional opinion, Patti explains that it’s odd that Jennifer Aniston would jump so quickly into a relationship with a man who left his significant other for her. After all, Brad Pitt was a huge bad guy when he left his famous wife for the much younger and mysterious Angelina Jolie. Patti reminds us, “She b*tched about Angelina stealing Brad from her!”

According to many media outlets, the next step in the couple’s whirlwind romance is to start a family, and Patti agrees that we’ll be hearing something along those lines very soon. She admits, “I feel like [Jen] might pull the pregnancy card on him.” Patti continues, “Maybe she has, she isn’t as skinny as she used to be, she’s looking great, and she’s glowing.”

Clearly Jennifer Aniston isn’t playing by Patti’s rules, and something tells me we won’t be seeing Jen as a celebrity guest wanting Patti’s advice on the upcoming Millionaire Matchmaker season. Of course, I don’t know why…shouldn’t America’s sweetheart want relationship advice from a single 50-year-old woman who just last year broke off her own engagement? Sign her up–and me too, while we’re at it!

When it comes to the newly divorced Camille Grammer, Patti states: “Camille: I would love to see her with a guy who’s an entrepreneur off the carpet…I’d like to see like a Silicon Valley billionaire — somebody who really appreciates her brain.”

And what about Taylor Armstrong, who’s only been single for a matter of weeks? “Taylor needs to take a dating detox break,” Patti assesses. “I knew for years what was going on and it’s a really rough road. Abuse is abuse. She needs to clean herself up. Get rid of the negative vibration. Find out who Taylor is before she steps off the curb with anybody else.”

Millionaire Matchmaker season 5 premieres tonight on Bravo at 9pm ET. A preview clip of tonight’s episode is below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT PATTI’S COMMENTARY ON JENNIFER ANISTON’S RELATIONSHIP? WILL YOU BE WATCHING THE NEW SEASON?