Well we arrived into Venice from London by air and we took a water taxi from the pier outside the airport to the host hotel, the water taxi ride was about 40 mins at night to the front door of the Hilton Molino Stucky the host hotel (point to remember here is bags that have wheels are best placed on their side when arriving at a floating pontoon) as we nearly lost more than one when we disembarked the water taxi they rolled towards the water as the weight on the landing changed. We had just missed the welcome reception in the lobby but after checking in we did head up to the top floor to the night club and mixed a little with some of the other guests. From here we could look out across the Grand Canal and see the Azamara in dock on the other side from the hotel. After a few very expensive drinks we retied to our room just as a bunch of single guys were being evicted. They were a little upset as something they had never experienced before was taking place the more they drank the less the females around them seemed to be wearing, not to mention the more action that seemed to be on public display.

The next morning we headed down to the hotel lobby in hope of finding out about transfers across the canal to the ships dock which had been mentioned in some of the emails. Our cruise hosts had setup a desk in the hotel foyer so that part was relatively painless, But this did allow Jane time to shop for these last minute items like a couple of matching Venetian masks for the mask ball theme night. When we checked out of the hotel we headed out the front to wait for the water bus transfer to find a group of a hundred or so guests doing the same thing. It was at this point we started to meet and talk (no loud thump thump music from the night before) with others as the line-up was quite large at least four or five boat loads given there was only one boat going back and forward across to the terminal. So we spend an hour or so talking with others from all over the place (different countries). We have just been to Desire Perl so we had a good talking point for some, but by no means all. It was about this point we discovered that Desire is by no means the place to be for some. The Cruise life style trips have just as devout following as you expect from Desire resort trips, but the crowds are not all the same it. It was interesting the number of people who had not been to a Desire resort or even heard of the resorts. There was one couple who we seemed to run into many times over the trip who live fulltime at a nudist resort and seemed to spend more time living the lifestyle then doing the vanilla stuff, if that make sense. The ages of guests seem to averaging fifty and up and there were a lot of groups. Having said that the group mixed / played well with others with the only exception that we saw The Spanish group who seemed to keep to them self’s except for the competitions around the pool.

Once we got across to the ship terminal we were met by the ships staff that checked us in which included checking our bags through to the cabins. Didn’t seem to have any issues with alcohol in our checked baggage at this point and I guess as a ship take over may have had more freedom than other cruisers that you may go on. In fact the Ships staff had more issues going through the security checkpoint then did the guests. Once on board we headed for some food /drinks as our room wasn’t ready at this stage. The food outlets where great you could find most food groups from burgers to lobster tails, from sit down full service to stand up by the pool and everything between. Jane having a special diet (Gluten free) we found that if we seated our self’s within the same seating sections of the food outlets we visited, We mostly ended up with the same serving staff. Who got to know us well enough to have our favourite drinks and food selection / recommendations ready for us. Once we moved into our cabin [internal state room Rm 4028 (handicapped), guess they must have spoken to my wife and found out I’m “a bit challenged”]. We found a number of other interesting extras supplied by our hosting company and the cruise line. Like a dedicated TV channel (17) hosted by a couple called Sticky and Wet. Full of information about the cruise and what was about to happen not to mention lots of bad jokes. A Special Cruise Newsletter called “Pursuits” with more of the same and it also include visiting port area maps and info about the next port of call we were about to visit. Jane even scored a branded sarong and singlet dresses which makes it hard to wear at home, but great for when we are away and on the ship around the pool of course. There was a small bar fridge with limited drinks, a fruit basket that did get filled up each day and the odd chocolate or two, not that I got many of these as it would appear that these seem to disappear by them self’s a lot so Jane reckoned. We had booked the internal room as it was the cheapest and preferred no windows as we intended to sleep in most mornings so we could spend more time out at night. That was the plan, but we didn’t spend much time in our room anyway.

The party on the boat started almost straight away around the pool deck there was live music and nude people before we left the dock. We even had some nude hula hoop action up on the fly bridge which did help everyone to start to get into the right mood except these on another passing Cruise ship. I’m sure they thought they were on the wrong boat at least the males. I think it was at this point a group of mostly girls formed to promote nude Cruises to every passing vessel as from this point whenever a boat passed they would get a temping wave for the top deck nude greeting party through the glass windows that form the wind shield around the pool deck area. The Pool itself was smaller than any of the hot tubs you find at any of the Desire resorts and was filled with salt water. It did have two six person hot tubs on each side of the pool. There were also some cold flesh water showers around the pool to wash off the salt. We didn’t see many in the pool during the trip. I did use it to cool down a couple of times as was the case with the Spas, these only had limited space and generally used late afternoons by only a few. There was a pool side Bar (Main Bar during the day and into the early evening) and a Food outlet (fast food style all day called “The Pool Grill”). The Pool area also had the main performance stage area with mostly DJ music all day and live music into the night, some nights. Entertainment was mostly brought in by the hosting company with some exceptional entertainment staff from the ship as well. We also had a fantastic Cruise Director Tony. This Guy was great he added value to the trip no end. He got involved in everything he was asked to including some of the more adult TV programs, I would say he’s was a great sport going way beyond what should have been expected from a ship staff member and dare I say he will be living with this for a while after we had left. I should also say that all the ships staff from the captain down to the cabin staff went out of their way to ensure we all had a great time. The Ship Staff had said to us on more than one occasion “The lifestyle cruises is the best time to work on the ship” because the people they meet are here to have a great time and they all get on so well together and with others (meaning the staff). The only fault we can think of that we and others had with staff was the Security staff, that where brought onto the boat by the tour company. The main problem being this pack of guys where single and with this came the misconception they could break the very rules they should have been there to protect. I do believe there is a place for security but next time I hope they employ couples thus negating the predator nature of single males.

After the engine fire issues that had occurred on a past cruise on board the boat we expected and got a Safely / Event drill that was very detailed. This was compulsory and very painless. This was probably the only time you get to see everyone in one or two places at the same time. It was here that we guessed the boat was not full, say around two thirds, a good size group so we didn’t expect we would have too many problems finding other people or for that matter hiding should we need to sleep at some point. The best place we found to randomly network was lunch and dinner in the more formal dining areas. You had the option of sitting at a large table or as a couple. Providing you didn’t want to sit with your group you could be randomly seated with others at the large tables this was great way to get to know them. It was over a lunch we got to meet the owners of Desire resorts (Side note one of my rants about people talking images turned out one of them was the owners wife I had complaint about, So how to win friends and influence people we be my next book). They were guests of the hosting company and co-sponsors for the cruise providing some of the staff “Lazaro (thanks for the Desire bandanas) & Diana” and some of the on board entertainment, fashion shows, .

The other main area was the ships Cabaret Lounge on deck five. This was the night club and had two bars setup along with a stage area running most nights till late. This was a little cold in both air conditioning and theming. The atmosphere was ok it was mostly club music most nights DJ based. Floor shows where good (there was a couple male & female who were adult dances that where very good, I think Lazaro was trying to book them for Desire in the future) but the smoke machine was too much at points no could see anything. Tip. We had purchased two drink packages for the trip one Beer and one Premium spirits and wines. What this means is you could get drinks from any of the bars no problems, but if I was getting drinks for Jane. Then I had to ensure any drink not covered by the beer package was not rang up on my package card otherwise it came out as an extra charge at the end of the cruise. But you didn’t seem to have any problems putting more than one drink at a time against a single package especially at busy bar times like in the club or around the pool bar just remember to keep using the package card with the most drink options. There were also times during the cruise where some drinks where included like at meals and sponsored functions. And don’t forget your trip mug / cup you can also fill one of these with your favourite single malt whiskey that you brought in your check-in bags for hot tub time and or around the pool, just add a glass of ice.

You can also use your Ship ID Card / Package Card to purchase any other items on board but it’s wise to check a couple of times during the cruise to see how your credit is traveling and that there’s no un-expected surprises.

Now let talk about the play room (The Sin Room). It was on deck ten located in the “Looking Glass lounge” renamed the “Sin Room” by the hosting company. It’s the biggest play room I’ve ever been in and had great theming by the cruise host. It had a bar just outside the reception area next to the lifts so you could pick up your still water and red bull before you entering the play stadium. In the reception area there was normally a host couple keeping everything running smoothly mostly at peak times with lots of stacks of clean towels and bowls of free condoms, bottles of water etc. There was also collection bins for used towels locate near the entrance to the inner curtain doorway. The inner section of the play room was made up of curtained walls and fixed lounge benchers. There was a large main centre section with two smaller side sections off each side. The floor had single mattresses some stacked two high all covered in fitted sheets some end to end. We attend most nights, but at different times. One night around midnight the place was packed. It was a little like going to the football / baseball and the noise was a little off putting at first until you realised no one was being killed. There would have been forty people in the centre area having one good time (there may well have been more in there, but too many arms and legs to count) . We had some fun in the front left corner where we found a false ship helm (steering wheel) at least I hope it was not real because the crew down stairs would have been reporting a failure in the steer system because of a strange oscillation. On another night we arrive about two am and the place was very quiet at first and very cold (air conditioning again) so we try one of the side areas. This proved very interesting as the space was warner but could accommodate only two couples head to head (mattresses placed end to end), so with ten minutes I think I had a head concussion and by the stage there was a line up for the side areas. What this means each side area is walled by a beach lounge facing the windows so we ended up with a cheer squad of waiting couples sitting on the bench ready to drop-in when a space becomes available.. a little off putting until you get used to it and realise they are not there to sub you out because you’re not performing as well as the team would like. During the Cruise there where Desire run competitions around the pool not unlike these you see at Desire, the prizes include a trip to desire, so girls being girls and so competitive decided to enter a few of the comps. Now having won a very large G spot vibrator, it turned out they hold a tool night in the play room so having a new toy we decided to go. As you may have guessed I’m not one for a lot of attention and having never used this toy before, boy was I in for a surprise. There was twenty couples all doing their thing around the room when I started it, it was like starting a snow blower. The noise from this device was unreal within ten seconds it was standing room only all around us. I started cold and within twenty second I have an audience and sweet running down my brow. Another great holiday experience brunt into my brain, only from the lifestyle holiday can you get these type of memory. Whilst we did return home with the toy, after much debate , there was no way I was going make the mistake and leave the batteries in this noise maker for when we went through airport security that’s for sure.

There was also a couple of special activity like the Blowjob class this was held in the ships Cabaret Lounge on deck five. It had a lot of attendees but got let down by two things one no security, some loser taking photos on his mobile, and while the couple trying to facilitate where very keen they lacked the instructional ability for a group of this size to get things going. I guess the marketing of this was not strictly in line with what was planned. It looked like instead of learning something new it was more a try at a large group sex actively. But I would like to point out the guy who was the training aid, did so well given the pressure to perform in front of approximately 60 other couples all by himself despite calls to the floor for others to help out. Interesting enough there was more getting BJs including myself just as the event concluded, which was hard for the Pool staff guys who was there to take back any unused towels ended up having to go running for more instead.

Other areas on the ship: Gym well there was one as was there a Spa (Astral Spa) but didn’t get there. There is also specialty dining options Prime C and Aqualina but the food was better than we expected in the normal restaurants so didn’t see the need to pay more. So cannot comment on these other than most where about “extra paid services”. There was a casino but again we walked through here each night, but didn’t feel the need to throw money over the side of the ship. There was a Strip poker challenge Texas hold’em stlye but this was limit to eight players. There was a coffee shop on desk five near the lift it had cake, coffee and light snacks in between normal outlet hours. There was also a piano here and often had a couple playing jazz each evening for an hour or so. Not a bad meet up spot before heading to the night club after diner. Then there was the “in room” activity, we did notice some have door decorations ranging from advertising for all type of stuff from private photo shoots to walk right in and jump into bed with us, then there was the notice boards giving their current location and or the actively that was planned including contact details, some like you would sell a car with tear off tags. So there’s another ideal for packing. We had also heard people packed handheld CB radios but the boat wasn’t that big, may be usefully if one goes into town and you don’t want to use your mobiles.

Shore trips where great you can book shore based activities as part of your pre trip options or you could have waited until you arrived and go to the Shore Excursion desk (on deck 4) or try to arrange on shore when your there, but this may be the more risky option doing this. There was a trip aboard a Pirate ship booked by the Host Company. We didn’t find out until we were on the cruise and talking to one on the hosts, it was great & cloths optional, I got some great photos of Jane skippering the Ship complete with Pirate hat, musket and her wicked weasels. Well she knew just what to do as we had been practicing in the playroom a couple of nights before. The Pirate cruise had on board entertainment including a Marti grass style dancer complete with sexy feather costume, loud music and all the food and drink you could consume. We cruised the old city walls of Hovar, Croatia as would have many Pirate ships of the day, Got to fire our small canon and then visited an island off the coast that had a cloth option beach before returning back to the Azamara Quest in the afternoon.

The shore visits were very straight forward, we didn’t need a passport in the ports we visited only the ship ID card that was supplied at check-in. There’s normally only two ways off and on the ship either in a port by the ships gangway or by a ships tender boat when moored offshore. You get through ship security the same way you would go when flying, in that they will x-ray scan your carry-on, metal detect you and check you match your check in photo using your ship’s ID. We did get plenty of chances to go ashore at night to try the food in some of the towns but to be safe you shouldn’t go alone and carry a mobile phone just in case something happens. They do supply an EMG contact number should something happen. While you are ashore I would recommend carrying this in hardcopy form with you as mobile phones can die etc.This cruise visited Italy, Croatia, Montenegro. These places are steeped with a lot more history than anyone can start to imagine. The main cities we spent time in included Venice, Hvar, Kotor, Dubrovik, Trieste. But I’m sure others went further afield, depending on their time and budget. Each port has its special places, but all had great food, and deserts to die for. I guess if I was to dare a suggestion for the next group of Lifestlyers going into these areas. It would be to arrange a theme night in a real castle banquet hall. I think this would have been something to top off the trip. Not unlike the Pirate Ship as it was also a great day excursion. A full on medieval banquet just like in times of old, may have been something to remember. While theme nights / rooms on the ship where great I did see a couple of couples doing things in places where it would have been a long while since that sort of action had accrued in those places.

What was included in the cost:• Ship accommodations and ocean transportation• Meals• Some beverages • All entertainment aboard the vessel• Theme nights• Daily Newsletters and Hosted TV channels.• Gym accesses, but not the Day Spa. • Bottled water, sodas, specialty coffees and teas • Shuttle bus service to/from port communities, where available• Some Room service• Selected house wines with lunch and dinner (you need to ask).• Specialty Dinning in Prime C and Aqualina available (complimentary for suite guests), with a $20 cover for guests in Club Veranda, Club Oceanview and Club Interior staterooms.• Self-service laundry, But I think you need to pay for washing powder or BYO.

Summing upThings that we noticed, there where many people on this trip who are not primary here for the lifestyle so while there is a hot tub, a night club and a play room open till very early morning the crowd tended to party early and retire leaving the younger at heart and body and or those who had already seen the port we were visiting the next day. So in an effort to promote a sexier atmosphere the trip had included two full days at sea to promote more people participation in the lifestyle events which only seem to work to a point. The pool deck was the hub of the Cruise during the day into the afternoons, but less than half where fully nude. This may have been because of the lack of shaded areas on the pool deck or top deck, but at no time did we “late rises” have a problem finding a dark corner to hide in. We found the cruise trip was great if you want to have a holiday that sees the sights and has some of the lifestyle fun as well, but our next trip will be in next year back with Desire at Perl as we don’t have a problem with having two holidays where you can get the most out of both experiences travel and the freedom of desire without the pressure to try to combine both.

I’m sorry for not doing this early but have been traveling away from home for the last three and a bit months and just getting back into the home routine again.