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Month: April 2016

The gang’s all here after last week’s Beth-bonanza, and our main characters are relaxing in their top-secret retreat in Iceland where NO ONE will… oh, what’s that? They’ve been found? Well, time for Sarah, Mrs. S, Kira, and super-duper-cheery Kendall to head back to Canada.

But home isn’t safe these days, and that’s one of the interesting dichotomies that Orphan Black has set up in Season 4’s second episode, “Transgressive Border Crossing.” Even though the Clone Club scored major victories against enemies big (the Proletheans) and small (Alison’s vengeful drug suppliers), they may now be less safe than ever. Sarah & Family are forced to go into hiding because they know too much and because every enemy wants a piece (literally) of Kendall, a.k.a., Leda Prime, the Charm School Dropout. (Oddly missing in the family dynamic is Cal, since that probably exceeded budget constraints for this episode. Filming in the frozen wasteland costs money, people!)

In the past, Sarah, Cosima, and Mrs. S were good at buying time by playing one bad guy against another. That’s not an option now. There’s one bad guy left – Season 1’s gene-splicing, body-modding Neolution – and it’s a much bigger conspiracy of Cronenbergian craziness than the clones (and we) ever realized. Fortunately, our new sestra, the sheep-mask-wearing MK, is a big-time paranoid and Chloe O’Brien-ish hacker, and she’s able to alert everyone.

Note: By “Cronenbergian,” I mean like David Cronenberg, the Canadian horror director whose bizarre films often blur the line between technology and the organic. Among his best known films are Videodrome (1983) and The Fly (1986), but Shivers (1975) may be more apropos to what’s going on here. Specifically…

Orphan Black has danced around with science fiction and espionage themes over the past three years. When the somewhat-sleazy Dizzy mistakes Sarah for MK and shows her the video of the “maggot bot” (!!!) being removed from a man’s check, the series dives full on into horror. Gone are concerns about people-as-property or corporate assassins. We’re talking about the terrifying unknown and an invasion of self that is far worse than anything the Proletheans did.

It’s an effective and very disturbing sequence – on which they double down in the final scene! OHHHHH! This season seems poised to take us on a wild trip down the Rabbit Hole, which not coincidentally is the name of the comic book store that Cosima and Scott have turned into the Clone Club’s secret lair.

There were times during Season 3 where I frankly didn’t look forward to the next episode. That might not be the case this year.

The Great:

The continuing absence of Castor clones. Thank goodness that plot is done.

The interweaving of the Beth flashbacks with current events was masterfully handled.

Donnie taking Helena (posing as Alison) to get a sonogram. Not only has this duo turned out to be a) heartwarming and b) guaranteed comedy gold, it also requires an effort of will to remember that Helena is played by the same actress who plays Alison and Sarah and OHMYGOD WHY DOES SHE NOT HAVE AN EMMY YET?

The revelation last season that Sarah has a genetic connection to Mrs. S wasn’t satisfying. Felix’s reaction to that in this episode is.

One of the major appeals for Big Finish’s Doctor Who audio release is the line’s ability to revisit lesser-known parts of the show’s past. Much as long-time Who viewers would love to see an appearance by the Rani, for example, or perhaps even Sil, it’s unlikely to happen. And it’s unlikely that the TARDIS would ever land on Metebelis Three so that the Twelfth Doctor could face off with the Queen of Spiders once more. However, with the Big Finish releases, such scenarios are not only possible, they’re likely. Nostalgia is one of the driving forces of the Doctor Who line, particularly for the “classic” Doctors appearing in them.

The real test for these nostalgic stories, though, is if they simply wallow in the past, or if they also manage to bring something new to the table as well. Is there a more modern take on a past character? Is there a new angle for an old storyline? If there isn’t something new, then that nostalgic element can get boring fairly quickly, as it becomes an old friend who’s good to see, but unfortunately doesn’t have much to say.

Fortunately, that’s not the case with Mistfall, the opening adventure of a trilogy of Fifth Doctor adventures set in E-Space – the same place where a trio of televised Doctor Who adventures (“Full Circle”, “State of Decay”, and “Warrior’s Gate”) featuring the Fourth Doctor took place. And not only does Mistfall rely on that bit of nostalgia, it’s also a sequel to “Full Circle”. Written by Andrew Smith, who also penned “Circle”, Mistfall hits a lot of the same themes and beats as its predecessor. But there’s enough new ideas injected into the story – and, in particular, one new character – that keeps it feeling fresh, and not just a retread of an old but good televised adventure.

Mistfall begins with the crew of the TARDIS – the Fifth Doctor, Tegan, Turlough, and an older Nyssa (brought onboard once more after twenty-odd years on Terminus) – rediscovering some of Adric’s old calculations for negative E-Space coordinates. Adric had stated before his untimely demise in “Earthshock” that he’d been able to figure out a way back to E-Space … and, as it turns out, he was correct, as the calculations lead the TARDIS back through a CVE to that other universe, and lead the Doctor and his companions to a new set of adventures there.

Much like the original “Full Circle”, the first planet that the TARDIS lands on is the planet Alzarius, home to the Sleestak Marshmen. There, the Doctor and his companions encounter explorers from the world of New Alzarius – the descendants of the original inhabitants who left in the Starliner, many generations before – who are there ostensibly to study the homeworld of their ancestors, and to learn more about the Marshmen. Of course, nothing’s that simple, and it’s up to the Doctor and the rest of the TARDIS crew to figure out exactly what’s going on, and to put a stop to some rather nefarious activities before it’s too late.

In terms of story, Mistfall follows the outline of its source material from “Full Circle” closely – perhaps a bit too closely at times. The titular mist appears conveniently just when the TARDIS arrives. Evil experiments on the Marshmen. Yet more mistaken beliefs that the Marshmen are evil and must be destroyed. But what makes things interesting is that unlike “Full Circle”, Mistfall gets to explore some of these ideas in depth. There’s real debate about the good that comes from the Marshmen experiments, for example, and the downside of stopping them – it’s not just a five-second good/evil debate. Mistfall gets the luxury of taking “Full Circle” and looking at the source material with a more nuanced eye, and that’s a very good thing.

Mistfall also follows some of the ideas first presented in “Full Circle” to some logical extensions. For example, in that original story, the Alzarians are revealed to be the descendants of the Marshmen. But were there any evolutionary steps in between? What were they like? The answer to that comes in Mistfall in the form of the character Fem … and it’s interesting to see which characters treat her as Alzarian, while others give her the disdain they give a Marshman. Again, it’s a level of complexity rarely seen in the original story, and it’s wonderful to see here.

In terms of performance, there’s some marvelous ones in this story. Peter Davison is great as the Fifth Doctor, professing his indignation and outrage at what’s happening on Alzarius as only he can. I particularly enjoyed Janet Fielding as Tegan in Mistfall as well – the Big Finish adventures (such as this one) do a great job of showing that she’s more than a “mouth with legs”, but clever, compassionate … and yes, easily outraged. Also of particular note is the appearance of Jemma Redgrave (U.N.I.T.’s Kate Stewart, in the modern Who series) as Decider Merrion. She gets a great role in this story as someone who trying’s to balance what’s best for the New Alzarians versus what’s best for the planet Alzarius – and that’s no simple task. She gives a great performance of someone who’s often conflicted, but still trying to do the right thing.

In fairness, if you’ve never seen “Full Circle”, I do wonder how much you might enjoy this story. There is a certain amount of assumption that the listener is familiar with that original televised story, enough so that I could understand how someone who’d never seen it might be a little lost listening to Mistfall at times. But for such a listener, I still think this would be an enjoyable story … and for Who fans familiar with “Full Circle”, this one would definitely be a treat. The story’s available now on the Big Finish website.

The Season 4 premiere of Orphan Black – “The Collapse of Nature” – is something of a brave gamble. Following the events of last season, the show was really ready for all sorts of jumping points forward. So it’s an interesting choice that it jumps backwards instead, with the episode focusing almost entirely on a clone we’ve mostly only heard about – Beth Childs. Our only real prior glimpse of the actual Beth came in the series premiere, and that was when she jumped in front of a train to kick off Sarah Manning’s journey in the Clone Club world. Everything else about her has come second-hand, either through characters like Art and Paul and the other clones relating what they knew about Beth, or through Sarah’s impersonations of Beth, and the reactions to that.

But the actual Beth? We didn’t know that much about her. And, as it turns out, much of what we thought we knew might’ve been wrong.

Beth (TATIANA MASLANY)

We find ourselves watching a Beth who sure was keeping a lot of secrets. She loved her sestras-to-be, and was fiercely protective of them. She didn’t trust her boyfriend-and-monitor Paul. She was having a friends-with-benefits (!) relationship with her partner Art. She was seriously self-medicating. And she worried about her abilities as a cop.

Beth also knew a lot more about Neolution than anyone might’ve guessed – and she wasn’t exactly sharing much of what she knew with anyone. As it turns out, everyone’s favorite body-modders were up to Tons of Bad Shit, even back when Beth was still alive. But there’s not much Beth can do about it – as she begins to uncover more and more things, she accidentally shoots someone, and is suspended from the police force. Everything’s looking hopeless, and Beth doesn’t have anywhere to run as the episode winds to a conclusion …

… and it’s heartbreaking, because her fate is already sealed.

But it’s also a reminder of the fierce bond between the clone sisters. Beth was willing to do anything for them. And as the episode wraps up by cutting to the present, with MK finding Sarah and telling her “you need to run” – it’s clear that sentiment remains with Sarah and her sestras, even the ones she doesn’t know yet.

Was this episode a home run? I’m not quite sure yet. But I think it potentially sets up the rest of the season in spectacular fashion.

Beth: “Everything else okay?”Cosima: “Not really. You ever heard the one about the lesbian and the U-Haul?”

The almost-meeting of Felix and Beth at the police station.

Dr. Leekie!

Alison with the gun. And of course Alison was supplying Beth with drugs.

And a lot of callbacks to previous episodes. Turns out the surveillance equipment in Beth’s apartment was put there so Beth could spy on Paul, not the other way around.

The Not-So-Great:

Beth’s awfully similar to Sarah, personality-wise. And MK (the new sheep-mask wearing clone) seems like a timid, non-homicidal version of Helena. I don’t blame the always-awesome Tatiana Maslany for this; I just think the show writers could’ve worked to find ways to make them more their own characters. (In Beth’s case, maybe it doesn’t matter; time will tell with MK.)

Hope you’ve been paying close attention to The Story So Far. “The Collapse of Nature” made reference to plenty of details coming from prior episodes in prior seasons, and assumed that the viewer knew them all well. I knew some of them, but some references whizzed straight over my head during my first viewing. It made for a fun-but-somewhat-confusing watch.

No Helena appearances. Or Donnie. Boo!

The WTF:

Wait, Beth was sleeping with Art?

And I think I’ll be quite happy if I never hear the phrase “bifurcated penis” on a television show ever again.

With a long wait ahead of us until new Doctor Who arrives (next Christmas? Aaaargh!!!), and while waiting for the announcement of a new Companion for the Doctor’s upcoming episodes, we thought it’d be a good time to look back at the best of the previous Companions on Who. Rather than drive ourselves completely crazy, we’ve limited our choices of Companions to those who actually traveled in the TARDIS with the Doctor at some point, and those who only appeared on TV series (both “Classic” and “New” iterations).

The superb, never-ruffled Brigadier has traveled with the Doctor on several occasions, so yeah, he counts as a Companion! Classically British in the best sense of the word, the Brig would often pooh-pooh the Doctor’s scientific solutions to a crisis and look for something to shoot. This eventually became something of an in-joke, but it paid off in the 7th Doctor story, “Battlefield,” when the Brigadier returned to the show after a long absence and pretty much saved the day by firing silver bullets into a demon. It was the last Who appearance for the Brig, but he returned in The Sarah Jane Adventures in 2008. It’s a sign of the character’s strength (and the actor’s talent) that the Brig’s influence continues into New Who, with his daughter Kate now appearing in tales with the 11th and 12th Doctors.

9. Leela (Louise Jameson),1977-1978

“These ‘taxes’… they are like sacrifices to tribal gods?”

Don’t mess with the fierce warrior of the Sevateem and her skimpy leather hunting outfit. She certainly was unlike any previous Companion up to that point, having little compunction about killing enemies, although the Eliza Doolittle-Henry Higgins relationship between her and the Doctor created enough comedy to brighten up the dark spots. Her clash with Victorian England dining habits in the excellent “Talons of Weng-Chiang” is a moment of sheer joy. The fact that “Weng-Chiang,” like most of Leela’s stories, occurred during the great, dark, gothic Philip Hinchcliffe era didn’t hurt. Also, while Leela is best known for her savagery and fighting, she was surprisingly good at inspiring others to find bravery inside themselves.

8. Jo Grant, 1971-1973, 2010

“One minute you’re condemning the Doctor to death, and the next minute you’re proposing to me!”

Television in the Seventies (and Eighties and Nineties…) wasn’t renowned for character development. And yet here’s Jo Grant! In the course of three years, she goes from being an earnest but vapid assistant to the Doctor to being a bold, spirited adventurer who could face down the Master one on one, armed with nothing but good, old-fashioned pluck. Her departure in 1973’s “The Green Death” was deservedly treated as a big moment. She wouldn’t meet the Doctor again until the “Death of the Doctor” episode of The Sarah Jane Adventures.

“I’m lending her a book on the French Revolution.” “What’s she going to do? Re-write it?”

How can you separate these two? The schoolteachers introduced us to the Doctor in the series’ very first episode, “An Unearthly Child,” and they left together two years later. Not only did they give us, the viewers, a reference point in those early days, Ian and Barbara helped to “humanize” the Doctor, forcing him to confront his own stubborn beliefs and eventually compelling him to view the people around him as more than just pieces of history data. They also set the bar high for all the Companions to come. Barbara, in particular, was remarkably feisty for an early Sixties woman on TV, a credit to both Hill and producer Verity Lambert. Barbara’s argument with William Hartnell’s Doctor in “The Aztecs,” where she attempts to violate history and persuade the Aztecs to follow a more peaceful path over his near-panicked objections, remains a favorite Who moment. And for a skinny science teacher, Ian could kick ass.

6. Ace (Sophie Aldred),1987-1989

“Do you feel like arguing with a can of deodorant that registers 9 on the Richter scale?”

Speaking of kicking ass, there’s Ace. A juvenile delinquent with a knack for explosives, Ace was bold, reckless, completely devoted to “the Professor,” emotionally damaged, and fearless. She could shoot anti-tank missiles at Daleks and take on Cybermen with only a slingshot and a bag of gold coins — and she could fall to pieces if anybody dredged up memories of her mother. She was the culmination of then-producer John Nathan-Turner’s desire to feature “interesting” Companions, and while her backstory – such as it is – seems weak compared to what’s happening in the series now, Ace did blow up a path for these current Companions to follow.

5. Clara Oswald (Jenna Coleman),2012-2015

“Run. Run, you clever boy … and remember.”

From the Impossible Girl’s first appearance in “Asylum of the Daleks,” Clara’s tenure aboard the TARDIS has certainly been anything but dull. Although the mystery surrounding her arrival often overshadowed her actual character at first – somewhat understandable, since she died twice in her first two appearances! – she began coming into her own during “The Name of the Doctor” … and by the time “The Day of the Doctor” rolled around, she was more than holding her own with three Doctors! It was with Peter Capaldi’s 12th Doctor, though, that Clara really found her voice, and could often take charge of a, well, impossible situation as well as the Doctor. Could she be bossy? Sure. Abrasive? Yes. But much like the Doctor himself, everything she did was in the name of finding adventure – and more importantly, helping others.

4. Amy Pond (Karen Gillan),2010-2012

“Raggedy Man, I remember you, and you are late for my wedding!”

An attractive Scottish redhead with an attitude? What’s not to like? But even beyond the looks and the sass, there’s a lot about Amy Pond that makes her such a great Companion. Amy possesses a determination and confidence that rarely has been seen in the series. In her own way, she’s more intimidating than Leela, more tenacious than Donna, more resilient than Rose and Ace, and sexier than the whole lot of them. And it’s her fierce, passionate love for her friends – her love for Rory, and especially her love for the Doctor – that drives her to often do the impossible.

3. Donna Noble (Catherine Tate),2006, 2008

“Oi! Watch it, spaceman!”

From her beginnings as a bad-tempered, about-to-be married ‘temp from Chiswick’, Donna Noble arguably had the most complete evolution as a Companion in the whole of the series. A departure from her predecessors, Donna had no romantic interest in the Doctor – she simply wanted adventure. And as she found adventure with the Time Lord, she managed to discover so, so many good things about herself as well. She also helped keep the Doctor grounded, such as in “The Fires of Pompeii,” when the Doctor horrifically realizes that HE is responsible for triggering Mount Vesuvius and killing thousands of people in ancient Pompeii. In that moment, she stands beside him and won’t let him face that decision alone.

Sniff. Oi, you were brilliant, Donna. And Bonus points for the epic tragedy of her departure. Double sniff.

2. Romana II (Lalla Ward),1979-1981

“Do you know what I don’t understand, Romana?” “I expect so.”

Romana’s second incarnation went from being a novice Time Lord who often was unsure about herself (and played wonderfully by the late Mary Tamm) to being one of the few Companions ever to stand on equal ground with the Doctor himself. Smart, funny, and extremely charismatic, Lalla Ward as Romana was a genuine joy to watch. At times, she was a powerful force to be reckoned with – watch her performance in the otherwise forgettable “Horns of Nimon,” it’s outstanding – and by the time Romana leaves the Doctor’s side in “Warriors’ Gate,” it’s quite clear that the character is more than ready to face the universe (or E-Space) on her own. (It also didn’t hurt that the evident off-screen chemistry between her and Tom Baker carried over to their televised stories, and brought a smile to every viewer’s face.)

It’s more than nostalgia – and longevity – that makes Sarah Jane the best companion of all. But that would be excluding the fact that she’s returned to Who in recent years — even starring in her own series — and is just as awesome! Originally cast as a nod to the changing times in the Seventies (“women’s lib”!), Sarah is smart, inquisitive, feisty, and a whole lot of fun. Sarah was always ready to stand up for herself – and her friends – in trying to do the right thing, but with Sarah, you could also see that, underneath, what was happening terrified the ever-loving crap out of her at times. But nonetheless, she always stood her ground. Marvelous acting by the late Liz Sladen, always – both during her classic appearances with Jon Pertwee and Tom Baker, and during her most recent stints on the modern iteration of the show with David Tennant. (Not to mention how terrific she was on her own spinoff show, The Sarah Jane Adventures!) For longtime followers of the show, she’s still quite deservedly the most popular Companion. And the best.

So … who’d we leave out? Who should’ve been ranked higher or lower? Or who did we include that you can’t stand? Give us a shout in the comments!

A few days ago, at an annual meetup of longtime friends and superb gamers, I ran a short session of Katanas and Trenchcoats, the game of “retromodern roleplaying.” It’s a terrific RPG largely inspired by the glory days of syndicated TV, movies, and RPGs in the Nineties, when Immortals, vampires, and Apocalypse-heralding fallen angels left an angst-fueled mark on pop culture. Dynamic, doomed, and cursed to wear amazing leather clothes, these heroes and antiheroes posed in misty alleyways as “power goth” chords or anthemic Queen tracks played behind them. You know which shows I’m talking about.

Game designer Ryan Macklin and others created the original PDF rulebook of Katanas and Trenchcoats last year as half-pun/half-homage. But the PDF did have an actual (if thin) set of rules, and people began playing it! The game attracted enough interest that Ryan last week launched a Kickstarter campaign for a full-blown, honest-to-Adrian-Paul Katanas and Trenchcoats rulebook – and it hit its funding goal on the second day! That’s pretty damn impressive. I’m psyched to see this come out.

For the time being, though, we have the PDF’s original rules, so that’s what I used for Saturday’s demonstration. And one of the quickest ways to demonstrate the rules is to get the characters to fight each other! I pulled in some characters from ’90s TV (Duncan Macleod & Richie Ryan from Highlander, and Nick Knight, Lucien Lacroix, and Janette DuCharme from Forever Knight) and created two “Technomages” as the main pains-in-the-asses who pitted the Immortals and vampires against each other.

They all looked fabulous. Technomage Helena (based on model Helena Christensen) coldly operated death traps while wearing a floral-print hat and a forcefield corset. Her partner, Japeth (think Oded Fehr), was a smooth talker with a thick accent and leather pants.

And that sense of fashion is important in this game! Kickass Wardrobe is one of your character’s five main Traits, along with Raging Passion, Mystical Talents, Ancient Memories, and of course Ancient Sword. You have scores from 1 through 5 in each, and you combine that number with the number of an appropriate skill (e.g., Awareness, Influence, Move) to determine how many d10s you roll. If your roll is better than your opponent’s, your action succeeds! Better still, the player who lost the opposed roll has to describe how awesomely you succeed – and how good you looked while doing it! That sense of fun is a key part of the game’s charm. It simultaneously applauds and gently mocks the emotional excesses of the source material.

Here was my quick-and-dirty plot: Helena and Japeth kidnapped Duncan’s friend (and fellow Immortal) Amanda, and threatened to permanently kill her unless Duncan and Richie subdued the three vampires that the technomages had lured into their abandoned-factory lair. (The technomages are fascinated by the vampires’ necromantic nature, so they want to see them in action before they, um, dissect them.)

One challenge I faced in running the game was that the PDF doesn’t spell out the changes that you, as a Story Master, need to make if a PC is something other than an Immortal. Sure, vampires can use fangs instead of swords, but what about technomages and magic? Technomages’ primary skill is Make, as opposed to Immortals’ Fight, but how do you make that work? Magic shouldn’t look anything like swordfighting. I ultimately decided to treat the technomages’ magic as a cross between Tony Stark’s holotech and Wile E. Coyote’s protean weaponry.

For instance, when the player running the technomage Helena said she was sending a hearse at full speed toward the three vampires on the factory’s third floor, I thought… why not? Who’s to say that this isn’t a car but rather a collection of robotics, holograms, and force fields? Also… conjuring a hearse to attack vampires? That’s AWESOME. Perfectly in line with the sense of style the game encourages.

But probably my favorite callback to the original shows is the game’s use of flashbacks. On the TV shows, the lead character would come across a situation in modern day that inevitably triggered a gut-wrenching flashback to a similar event centuries earlier. Likewise, in Katanas and Trenchcoats, if one of your Traits is “broken” because of something you did, you can only regain that Trait by going through an emotional flashback described by the Story Master!

For instance, in our game, Richie Ryan used his Spanish longsword to break the arcane runes powering the mystical restraints around Amanda. Richie’s player rolled his dice and succeeded, but only just, which meant in game terms that Richie’s success came at a price. His sword was destroyed! His Awesome Sword trait was broken, and Richie won’t get it back until I provide him with a flashback sequence about a similar sacrifice that he made.

The two technomages didn’t like that their Immortal pawns were freeing their friend instead of following the script, so technomage Japeth set fire to Amanda with his fire whip (think Whiplash from Iron Man 2). Duncan Macleod quickly jumped in with maximum emotions and his flowing trenchcoat to smother the flames, leading to this instant classic from the player: “I put out the flames with my love!” Cue the dramatic music!

Ultimately, once the Immortals and vampires teamed up (well, of course they did!), the situation changed badly for the two technomages. Helena escaped by fooling them all with a Blade Runner-type replicant decoy, while Japeth – in the difficult spot of grappling with both Nick Knight and Lacroix – decided to flee the combat via a teleportation effect, but not without breaking a Trait of his own, his Kickass Wardrobe. Goodbye, Displacement Vest!

The players had a good time, and they certainly embraced the campier aspects without playing it for camp. A couple of players were iffy on the combination of Traits and Skills, feeling that there wasn’t enough versatility in the Traits to accurately describe their actions. For me, that’s actually a benefit, not a flaw. I understand the reaction, though. As gamers, we’ve long been conditioned (mostly from D&D) to look at our sheets before deciding what our characters are going to do in a fight. “Do I have Acrobatics? Nope. I can’t do that cool swing on the chandelier.” But there’s a growing trend in game design – evidenced beautifully in the Cortex/Marvel Heroic/Leverage rules – that pushes players to first describe what their characters intend to do and then look at their character sheets and decide which combination of powers or skills will let them achieve that. “I’m resisting the vampire’s attempt to hypnotize me! Let’s see… I’m combining my Will score with my Kickass Wardrobe trait because my Vivienne Westwood punk bonnet distracts the vampire.” Again, that’s very different from many classic RPGs.

In fact, Katanas and Trenchcoats encourages this sort of thinking by reducing your successes if you use the same combination of Trait + Skill on consecutive rolls! So you help yourself – and help create a more interesting story – by thinking of new, fun combinations.

I definitely recommend giving Katanas and Trenchcoats a try. It’s an easy system with a built-in sense of humor. Sure, some rules aren’t as spelled out as you might like – magic rules for the technomages would be handy ­– but that won’t get in the way of a good time. Please support the Kickstarter, too, and use the #YOLF hashtag (You Only Live Forever) when discussing it on social media, as that may unlock more features.

Now excuse me, please, while I step forlornly into the rain of the Vancouver night….