Mike Strobel, QMI Agency

Sweet. The two most famous Canadians are notorious drunks and rabble-rousers.

Our stiff, grey, boring prime minister is starting to look like the freak.

Now everyone wonders which of our star bad boys will implode next: Fat Bastard or Mini-Me?

(Ed. note: That’s harsh, Strobel. Rob’s lost weight and Justin can’t help that he’s only 5-foot-6.)

Sorry, boss, I’m just borrowing from that other great countryman, Mike Myers.

Speaking of Canadian comic geniuses, I got this e-mail from Carolann E. Candy about my column suggesting Rob Ford, spouting patois, could play the John Candy role in Cool Runnings, the movie about Jamaica’s bobsled team:

“Want you to know that (my cousin) John was NOTHING like Ford in any way at all with the exception of his weight.

“John was loved, respected, admired by the people of Toronto, all over the world in fact.

“Please exercise care in the future when comparing an idiot to an icon.”

Sadly, Ms. Candy, these days the line between idiot and icon is fuzzy.

Let’s compare our two current national symbols, starting with photogenicity.

Has there ever been a prettier, happier arrest mugshot than Justin Bieber’s on Thursday in Miami?

We are accustomed to celebrities grimacing into a police camera, bedraggled, glassy-eyed, and glum. Indeed, Ford looked grim after his 1999 DUI arrest, also in Miami.

Bieber, on the other hand, beams like he just hit high score on Grand Theft Auto.

Alas, poor Robbie cannot take a decent picture to save his life, though his recent weight loss helps. Actually, it’s part of his charm with voters. The camera doesn’t like any of us.

But outside of that, and age (Rob 44, Justin 19) and size, the two are weirdly similar.