New Use for the Alarm Clook. * An Oldham servant girl was success ful in disturbing a burglar by the in genious use of an alarm clock. Hear ing a crash of glass in the early morn ing, she set the clock ringing, and be gan miio'_.. about. T'hinlkig, no doubt, that thcebell wa, ýa telephone, the intruder deca;mped before he could get any money or other valutables. -5

The Rainy Day. Mark Twain used to tell a rather good tale of a friend of his who was constantly receiving ntotes front a nian reqtuesing financial assistance. One day Mark Twain's friend was sur prised to receive front the chronically impecunious correspondent a letter which contain?ed the following: -"I have decided this time to reverse the usual order of things. I enclose a bank note, which I wish you to keetl for me against a rainy day." But the re cipient of the epistle could find no en closure, and, turnilng to the letter again, he found oni the second page of this scrawl :-"P.S.--I have just looked out of the window, and find it pouring fast I"

Plsanlt's Cramp. "W hetu.Paderewxki last toured Ameri ca he was forced to abandon a nunmber of concerts towards t!?e close of his season because of muscular rhcuma tism in both hands, brought on by ex cessive piano playing. Pianist's cramp is more painful than writer's cramp, and is the bane of all virtuo sos. It is caused by the constant contraction and expansion of the mus cles controlling the fingers.

" LIFF. " S-'T -- SCOTT'S EPITAPH e&amp; ITS ORIGIN. Perhaps the most interesting feature of the January "life " which is just to hand, per Mr Jones, newsagent, is a photograph and an explanation of thei origin of the epitaph which was written for the memorial cross to Captain Scott and his fellow heroes. It seems that when Captain Scott was leaving for the South Pole Dr. Alexander Leeper, Warden of Trinity College, Melbourne, gave him as a memento a little volume of Browning, in which he wrote the concluding lines from Tennyson's Ulysses : "To strive, to see k, to find, but not to yield. " The little volume was discovered in the tent with Captain Scott, and the members of the search party, considering the lines a most appropriate epitaph, carved them on the cross which stands on Observation Hill. Other interesting articles in this ex cellent number are :-" The Great4st Business on Earth " in which Frederick Palmer, the war correspondent, tells how Science has robbed War of its ...

FOOTSCIA Y'S BUNSTNES. PLA CES.. -4---- ··- . . MliR. T. I-I. LAUNI)E U'S FUJNI ['TItUtE E iPOIIUM. In recent years Footcrlay' impart nrc, as a busine.i centre has tI?o:n c nsideraily increased as the r-,:ult iof s len very fint: establishments Itingy and a:cci.t sharop, in prominent situations have ib,:an sup planted by imposing mntda:rn premises that are a credit to a pr)tgr):ira ic dltricr . In this resper t the fulrntllre warehouse crected by Sir T. II Launder i, a welcimeu addi tion. Situated in Irving stlce, it Iaks:; the place of what was an ilninvIing block and niong directly op:.osite the entrance to the Footscray railway station gives isit-,rs an excellent first impreision of til,: plirc The shop front is especially fine Shulterad Iby cantilever verandahs, which frr their con vanience should te generally adopted, the shop front consists of four :arge display windows, covering a frontig,: of ito feet and fitted in the. lates t al hasi sivle. When it is stited that nr, less ...

PROFIT SHARING Another year has passed by and a now year full of promise has been entered upon with confidence and hope, The harvest is bountiful ; the State is progressing, the conditions under which Australians work are probably better than those enjoyed by workers in any other part of the world and though the ever increasing cost of living is the fly in the ointment, it should not be be yond the capabilities of those charged with the administration of the people's affairs to devise a remedy. There are some who talk of fixing prices but that task is likely to be a heavy one and would probably end in failure, Co operation, which is found to work effectively in other countries, has never been given a fair trial here, but we feel that a carefully prepared system of profit sharing is the only true remedy, not alone for increasing cost of living but for the permanent settlement of industrial troubles. As far back as eight years ago the Advertiser warned those who pinned their faith to ...

reiepi~ona : SI Totscray, se ¢ dvertiser, PRINCIPLES BEFORE MEN. bootscray, Saturday, .Ian. 10, 191l1. The opinion is making itself felt in West Footscray that it would be to the advantage of that portion of the dis trict if it was formed into a fourth ward. It is contended that, at present, the area above Victoria street receives a poor return for the amount of rates subscribed by residents but it is hard to say whether this is so or not as such a large proportion of Footscray's rev enue goes for the payment of interest on loans and general maintenance and administrative charges. Apart, how ever, from this aspect we have all along contended that it is high time that some alteration of boundaries were made to make the wards of the city more nearly equal in size, revenue and population. It is both absurd and undemocratic to find three men from the Middle Ward representing at the council table only half as many rate payers as three men in the North or South wards. In other words one M...

1F(O''TSCRAY ANI) WV'.MSTOWN DISTRICT CIUIIRCIlES ASSN. The following nmatcllhe start to-day on the ground of the lirls.t-inlmed club: Victoria st. Methodist v C. of Christ. St. Luke's v Yarraville bilptists. laly View Road Miethodlits v New port Methaodist. Hyde St. Methodist v \Villiamlstown Blaptists. ,Iennox St. Methodist.s v John Street IMethodists,. t'ootseray and \Williamustown 'l hurchles * Irish National lJ'orestters. 'This match Cwas played on Saturday, )December 27, an the Willianstown cricket ground, ;nd r,,sultud in a win by thm former on he tirst innings by 1S1 runns. l'iootaeray and \Villiamstown Cihurches net tile ralllran Friendly Societies on 'New Year's )Day, at, Soullh Melbourlle, nd,defeate d them by 21- rluns on the hirs, innings. A. marry party of members and sup por'ers of the P.A.V.S. left Footseray on Christmans Eve for Daylesford to ,trend the vacation and fullil engage ments at Ilepburn and lullarto. On arrival at laylestordl the party made for the Elmn T...

FOOTSURAY BOY SCOUTS. The parents of the boys will be pleased to hear that Mr. Richardson has received from England a very pretty scout flag presented by the 1st. Foots Cray troop of boy scouts, Eng land, to the 1st. Footscray troop, Aus tralia. It is expected that this will he presented at the rally to he held on Jan uary the 17, and Mr. Richardson desires that every boy belonging to the troop uses his best efforts to he present that there may be as brave a show as pos sible. The local troop have presented to the English troop a similar flag which was duly received by the English troop at their church service at a festival ot All Saints during last November, which was subsequently carried down the ranks and saluted by the English troop and their visitors, being subsequently escorted to the headquarters of the troop and placed in a position of honor in their scout hall. The Rev. Berrens also forwarded a number of Foots Cray, England. photographs which are being mounted and which wil...

F'OOTI'SCR AY AND Wr'MSTO(WN DIST. JNR. ASSN. The lirst match in connection with the Junior-lnter Association matches the Footecray and Williamstown Juniors were defeated by the Metropolitan League by 0)2 runs. Scores--Metro. L.eague ii for 21 i (declared closed). Al lan 3 for -Id, AlMcLaughtin 3 for 50, T. O'Brien I for 17, I. O'Shea 1 'for 21. Footscray and Williamnstown Juniors 122. i. O'Shea 60, A. Minns 12, Cook 8, Allan 7. 1,. O'Shea gave i linished display of batting, not giving a seCIb lance of a chance until he had reached 60, when he was missed right on the fence. lie was bowled next ball. The perfornmance was all the mnore merito rious owing to his laving strained his shoulder whilst bowling. Versus Presbyterian Athlete. -The saecndl mratih ias ph.yed 1 t .. . jscrcy on Saturday and again the loicals w\re defeated, this time by 8 rwickets. Scores: Presbyterians 1!, and 2 for 18. Johainsen ii for 13, 'larrion f or .12, Allen 1 for 18. 1'ootscray a?ld Will. Jrs. 55 and 100....

FOO2'S IA Y l AN ND. During the past few weeks some alterations have been made in the Footscray Municipal Band by the rc .signation of Mr J. J. Code, bandmaster, lta to fi "the vacancy. Mr.. Nuttal comes to Footscray with the best of references as a successful contesting bandmaster. Although a stranger to our city, Mr. Nuttal is well-known amongst bondsmen as the conductor of the famous Echuca Rangers Band when this band won everything before it, and the local band has been fortunate in securing his services. It is the desire of the committee to make the Footscray Band a credit to the city, and with this end in view one or two weak spots in the hind has been strengthened by the inclusion of new players, and also by purchasing £165 worth of the latest anil most up-to-date instruments on the market. It is also intended to give fre quent performances in the rotunda when the electric light installation is com plete, and to-night at the Napier street picture gardens the band is tendering...

S'PEECH IIGHT. ALMESBURY LADIES' COLLEGE, The annualspeech night and distrioution of prizes in connection with the Almcs bury Ladies' College, took place in St. John's Hall. Pickett Street, on Thursday evening, s8th December. There was a large attendance and the chair was taken by Mr 1-1. E Caldecott, J.P. The chair mnan in his opening remarks referred to the progress made by thie school since its estab lishmnlnt in 1905. Following the chairman's address a programme, including calisthenics, kindergarten games, and a cantata was rendered by the pupils and called forth enthusiastic applause. The principal, Miss Ghilotti, M.A., then read the annual report after which the prizes were distributcd by the chairman. ANNUAL REPORT. In submitting a brief report of tile work done in the various branches of the school during the past year, I feel highly gratified at the progress that has been made. 'Throughou the school the children have, with very few exceptions, maintained a diligent and stea...

NEWt, ODD, 1NTERESTING, SOhess is taught in the public schools in Saxony. In proportion to its size Switzerland has more hotels than any other coun try, Linseed is the nearest approach to milk in composition of any natural vegetable food. "There is nothing more valuable in ?e6 curing indigestion than to practice good temper," says a doctor. In the German Army the average oost per man is over £58 a year, while in France it is slightly loss than 5to. Palm trees have the largest loaves. The Inaja paint of the Amazon country has leaves which reach a length of from Soft. to 5oft., and a breadth of from soft. to 2Eft. In a garden restaurant in Berlin the .waiters actually serve the patrons on roller skates. The distance between the tables and the source of food and drink supply is considerable, but, shod in this me:nner, the waiters practically constitute a quick service brigade. A man who was charged at Berlin with stealing a parrot stated that the bird. had-'l.e.nged to him for ten year...

WINDSOR MAGAZINE. &amp;nbsp; UNIQUE CHRISTMAS ANNUAL &amp;nbsp; The Christmas double number of the Windsor Magazine to hand, per Mr Jones, newsagent, forms a remarkable advance in magazine enterprise for sheer variety and abundance of attrac- tive features, total value of important contributions and all round excellence of printing and production. The fine art subjects include facsimile coloured plates faithfully reproducing important pictures, and includes a number of ad- mirable reproductions, in black and white. In lighter vein will be found some very entertainin humorous car- toons in colours. Many famous novel- ists contribute their latest stories to the fiction programme of the issue, and other writers of note are responsible for important features. Regarded or as the most, important number in a year's distinguished record, the Christ- &amp;nbsp; mas Double Number of the Windsor Magazine is indeed a sumptuous volume &amp;nbsp; of real importance. &amp;nbsp;...

Oil Driven Railway Trains. That the advantages of fuel oil in place of coal in the operaition of rail- way trains are coming into increasing recognition is shown by the growing consumption on those railroads that are advantageously placed for the purchase of oil. The consumption on the rail roads of the United States in 19?? &amp;nbsp; amounted to 19,939,394 barrels, an in- crease of 18 per cent. over the previous year.