I met Mike from Neighbours the other day. He came into Dixons and asked for a gold-plated headphone adaptor. I just thought I'd mention it. The game? Ah, yes, the game. Erm, well it took me a bit of time to get to grips with it but I managed in the end and didn't I have a jolly time? (We don't know, did you? Ed) Not really.

I was dead excited when I was given this game cos I, erm, quite fancies the Op Wolf type hunk on the cover. I loaded it up expecting to be thrown onto a world of jungle fever and mercenaries. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that, instead of being transformed into a machine-gun toting Bruce Willis on beta-blockers, I was to play a rather feeble space ship.

Swiss roll

Now, assuming this game was anything like R-Type, I'd be more than content. R-Type it isn't, which is why I've had more fun putting in my contact lenses than playing this haven't-I-seen-this-a-million-times-before type game. The idea is that you're on a mission to blow up some planets. Nobody really knows why but you've got a job to do so no questions asked. Choose which planet you want to blow up and then look at the inlay to see what to do next. Apparently, you have to set some detonators and then blow them up. Exactly how you do this isn't really made clear. It seems that your best bet is to shoot things, collect things, and die courageously.

Sounds a bit boring, doesn't it? Well, that's cos it is. It's boring, really, really boring. Basically, what we have is a shoot-'em-up with-out any real concept. If you're really lucky you'll be able to tell an ionic battery from an entry capsule. However, if you're anything like me, you'll just shoot like crazy and hope for the best.

To be fair, The Last Command does have it's good points. The ionic batteries look uncannily like Swiss rolls. Unfortunately, this is not nearly enough.

Here's an original storyline, folks. The year is 2046 and the Industry of intelligent Androids have created Dergon, a revolutioanry device capable of human-like thoughts. The trouble with robots having human intelligence is they don't have a soul, so things soon started to go horribly wrong.

The only way to save mankind is to destroy the androids' planets. Explosives have been secretly planted over the past two years and now they need someone to set them off. That someone is you -the Last Commando.

Does anyone remember the old Defender games? You know, where the landscape scrolls both left and right and a sleek ship zaps lots of aliens into oblivion? This is an updated version of that idea, and it's quite a spitfing one, too.

There are three planets to be destroyed, Zorak with eight explosives to be set, Alfard with six and Grisum's ten. They play in a similar manner but have different backgrounds and aliens. These nasty little beings move around in set sequences so studying their actions is a good idea.

Icons placed randomly around landscapes help your mission: clocks for time, weapons to make you mega-hard, transport platforms and ionic batteries which start the detonation sequence for each planet.

The Last Commando is a slick version of a classic arcade game. Everything's very colourful and there's some great presentation graphics and backgrounds.

It may have all ben seen before but not for a long time. This is a game style that's well worth forking out for, so why not try it with The Last Commando?