Success is great, but failure is EASIER! Come on… I know you can do it. Here’s how:

Be filled with doubt. Cultivate it at every step, looking for reasons why you will fail, why your business plan won’t work, why effort is fruitless and hopeless. People who are successful want that success, they dream about it, breath it, live it in their minds over and over before it happens in real life. When successful people feel doubt trying to creep in, they stamp it out faster than a cockroach in their kitchen. No wonder why they succeed. If you’re going to fail and fail big, you’ve got to be sure you’re filled with self-doubt from the time you get up until you fall asleep at night.

Whatever you do, do not listen to or read positive messages, do not become enthusiastic, and try your best not to be happy. Just sit in the corner quietly with your milk and a giant box of cookies (or your beer and burritos) and don’t come out of that corner until you’ve convinced yourself that you’re a big fat failure who will never succeed at anything. Remember, negative self-talk is crucial to your failure. If you let positive self-talk creep in, you may accidentally succeed, and then where would you be?

Be a vacillating slick willy. Don’t stick to one plan. Do NOT make any decisions. Do not move in one direction – move in all directions at once. Buy every ebook and program out there on how to be successful online, and then don’t even read them. If you do read them, bounce from one to the next without doing anything. Change your mind every week on your course of action. When you’ve mastered this, begin changing your mind every day. Aim to change your mind hourly, because this is the pinnacle of failure.

Here’s the monkey mind chatter to strive for: “Should you do this or do that or do this and that or that other thing or what about this hey I could do the thing over there but whoa, what’s this? Maybe I should do this – what do you think?”

Go ahead and second, third, fourth and fifth guess yourself silly and until your mind is numb and all you can do is veg out in front of the TV. Above all else, do NOT make one plan and stick to it – that’s the kiss of success and you do not want that.

Turn your obstacles into failures. Those stupid successful people are always taking their obstacles and turning them into triumphs. When their new website isn’t cutting it, what do they do? Fix it until it’s making sales, or start over and find a way to make it successful. That’s crazy! And it’s also more work, and who needs that? If you should accidentally actually DO something like build a new website, hope that it just sits there and gets moldy. That way you can heave a big sigh and say that “you tried” as you drown your sorrows in hops at the local pub.

Above all else, when you run into an obstacle do NOT take a step back and decide on your best course of action – this often leads to success. Do not decide that if this way didn’t work, there must be a better way. And do not tell yourself that you just found one way that doesn’t work, and you’re that much closer to finding a way that does work. Instead, throw up your hands, say that Internet Marketing doesn’t work because it’s all just a big scam, and give up.

Reinvent the wheel. If there is already a proven method for accomplishing something, ignore that method and go invent a new one. For example, there are all sorts of ways to successfully drive targeted traffic to websites, and these methods are used everyday by millions of online marketers. Do NOT use these methods! Instead, invent an entirely new method. This will take up lots of your time and probably lots of your money, too.

Plus the odds of it working are miniscule to none, so you’re almost guaranteed to fail. See how easy it is to avoid success? Simply thumb your nose at anything that’s proven to work and strike out to find an entirely new method to fail. (I have this traffic idea, by the way, which involves 3 dairy cows, a radial antennae and a photo of a Topeka Taco Stand – I’ll let you know how it works out.)

Indulge in plenty of delusions of grandeur. Your product is going to be the biggest thing since the iPod only it’s going to be BIGGER because even the tribesmen of the rainforest will be buying this up faster than blow darts and you’re going to get so much free publicity that Oprah is going to do a 1 hour prime time special just on you and your product and cripes, even your own MOTHER will love it, and she hates everything!

Whew. In your quest for Internet marketing failure, feeding these festering frenzied fantastic feats of glory will take up a major share of your time. After all, if you’re daydreaming you’re not working. You’re also not looking at the real world issues of whether or not there is actually a demand for your new discount concrete billy bob beer and crumpet party statues. One of the fastest ways to failure is to devise a product no one but you desires – and then spend your time daydreaming about the fortune you’re about to make.

Besides, this is all about failure. What are you doing dreaming about making fortunes anyway?

Be careless. Sure your ghostwriter just submitted the new product to you – just go ahead and launch it without reading it, right? Of course! How else are you going to miss the glaring error on page 42, or the fact that she omitted the entire key section people are dying to read?

Look, if you attend to details and make sure everything is in order prior to launch, you might actually be successful. So when your programmer sends you that new software, don’t check it, don’t click any links and do not test it. Just assume it’s good enough and start selling – you may do enough damage to your reputation to ensure future failure on a permanent basis.

Be lazy. Go watch TV, stay in bed, play video games, whatever. Just do NOT go to work on your business because you might actually accomplish something. Pity all those successful people who spend hours upon hours working on their business – no wonder why they are confined to making money, getting accolades and being successful. If they only knew how easy it is to fail they would just stop accomplishing stuff.

Be sick. That’s right – how can you succeed if you’re sick all the time, right? So go ahead and eat that junk food. Stay up all night. Drink until you puke. And above all do NOT exercise. Exercise is shown to increase your health in a thousand and one different ways, including making you THINK better.

And if you’re thinking better, you’re probably realizing this entire article has been utterly ridiculous – after all, you already know how to fail. Everyone knows that. And while it does take some effort to fail, it’s well worth it. How else can you lay on your death bed one day, wishing you’d achieved your goals instead of being a doubt-filled, vacillating, failure seeking, wheel reinventing, delusional, careless, lazy, sick, almost-was Internet marketer?

Yes, there is a #9 – and that’s to go do the OPPOSITE of all the opposites I just wrote about. Success isn’t hard – you just need to get busy NOT doing all the things we’ve just covered here.

Over and over we hear how to succeed, how to achieve our goals and dreams, and so forth. And yet, somehow most people are falling far short of those goals and dreams…

Now why is that? Perhaps it’s time to do the opposite. In a famous episode of Seinfeld, George Costanza was a perennial loser who one day decided to do the opposite of what he would normally do in every facet of his life. Result? Success!

Another example is contrarian investing – that is, going against conventional wisdom to buy when others are selling and selling when everyone else is buying – has been known to build fortunes. And this holds true for not only investments, but also in real estate.

Another example of the opposite working: Over and over we’ve been told to do affirmations to improve our outlook and our outcome. Result? If we do them a million, billion, gazillion times, they absolutely do work. But who wants to repeat the same phrases over and over 50 times a day? Not me.

Now I hear that if we simply rephrase our affirmation as a question, we only need to say it a few times here and there for it to work. So instead of saying, “I’m a success. I’m a success. I’m a SUCCESS!” we now ask ourselves, “Why am I so successful?”

Go ahead and try it and see if it doesn’t feel different than simply telling yourself you’re a success. Powerful, isn’t it? That’s because by asking the question, you are telling yourself to find all the reasons why you are successful. In other words, rather than just hearing words over and over, you are now actively participating in the process, and putting your subconscious mind to work helping you find the answers. What a difference!

I was going to write an article tomorrow on how to be successful, but I think I’ll scratch that. Instead, I’m going to write about how NOT to be successful, and we’ll see what happens. My tongue is firmly planted in my cheek as I write this, so let’s have some fun!

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s installment where I share with you “9 Ways to Be Certain You’ll Fail in Internet Marketing”… Be sure NOT to come back tomorrow to check it out, ok!

You don’t have your own product yet and you want to make some money promoting affiliate products. But if you promote affiliate products via email, there is a better than even chance that you are making at least one of these mistakes and it’s costing you money. Imagine if every time you promote a product, you make more money with no more effort because you stop making these mistakes – wouldn’t that be worth exploring?

1. Promoting A Product Without Knowing Much About It

Just because other people are promoting a product doesn’t necessarily mean that you should, too. If you don’t know what it is that you’re selling, it makes sense that you’re going to do a lousy job of promoting it. “Hey, buy this product because other people are buying it so it must be good.” What kind of a recommendation is that?

That’s why you want to either get a review copy from the merchant prior to launch, or buy the product yourself. Then spend time actually using the product. Pick out 3 to 5 things you love about it and highlight these in your promotion.

BONUS:

By reviewing the product prior to promoting it, you’ll discover if it’s something you want to stake your reputation on. After all, if you recommend a shoddy product, your list isn’t going to be happy and your reputation will take a hit. Promote enough shoddy products and you’ll need to change your name and build a new list.

2. Using The Same Promo Copy Everyone Else Is Using

It’s the day of the big launch and you copy and paste the same email a hundred other affiliates are sending to their lists – do you really think your readers aren’t on some of these other lists as well? When they see you’re just a cookie cutter of everyone else, they’re going to recognize your emails as junk and hit the delete button. Even if they are interested in the product, they’re going to find someone else to purchase it from who’s already used the product and can give them the insider’s perspective on what to expect.

When you write your own emails, you stand completely apart from the crowd. While the cookie cutter emails are being ignored, yours are getting read and receiving clicks. Write your own promotional emails with your own unique personality and slant, with sincerity and belief in what you are saying, and you will outperform other affiliates with lists larger than your own.

3. Not Adding Value

Always think of what you can add to the product to produce more value. For example, you can add a product of your own as a bonus, or do a coaching call for everyone who purchases. You might start a mastermind group to help the buyers implement what they learn in the course, or even create a new product to give them as a bonus (which you can then sell to others.)

Always think about how you can add value. Many times it can be as simple as adding a 10 page report or 5 minute video on how to do something step-by-step that is called for in the product. And be sure the value you add is directly related to the product you are promoting. If the product is how to grow magnificent roses, then a report on the best places to buy rose fertilizer would be perfect, while a video on how to plant asparagus wouldn’t make a lot of sense.

4. Sending Nothing But Affiliate Offers

If you want your emails to get open and read, you’re going to want to mix a good share of content in with your promotional emails. No one likes to be sold to over and over again, yet everyone enjoys getting news, how-to’s and insider advice from a trusted friend. Be the friend, and make sure at least 2/3rds of your emails contain great info. This will build a relationship between you and your readers and also get your promo emails open and read.

5. Hard Selling Instead Of Pre-Selling

As an affiliate, your job isn’t to sell the product – that’s the sales page’s job. You job is to get your readers warmed up to the idea of what the product can do for them, so that 2 things happen: First, they click the link in your email that leads to the sales page. Remember, you’re selling the click, not the product. And second, when they click that link they are interested, eager and possibly even excited to discover more.

6. Not Being Memorable

We touched on this earlier when we spoke of delivering lots of value to your list in the form of content. When you’re known for delivering value, your emails are much more likely to be opened and read. But just having great content isn’t always enough to make you stand apart from the crowd. You also need a hook: Something that makes you memorable to your readers so that each time they see an email from you, they remember exactly who are and why they should open the email.

If you’re like most marketers, you probably assume you already stand out because you know how different you are from other marketers – but do your readers know this? From the day they join your list, you should in some way differentiate yourself. It could be by using a nickname, such as Mr./Mrs. Overdeliverer. Or it could with your own brand.

If you have another profession, you can use that as your hook. One fellow I know was a school teacher and he still refers to himself that way even though it’s been years since he stepped inside a classroom. Another marketer is known as being unorthodox (to say the least) and yet another is known for his hair and his barefoot running. These are all hooks or associations that make them stand apart in their subscriber’s minds from all the other marketers sending them emails.

Employ some of these hard-fought lessons in your own marketing, and you’ll save yourself years of trial and error, and quickly get on the fast-track to higher profits in your affiliate marketing business.