What Your Husband Doesn’t Know Won’t Hurt Him

This is where the sub-par treatment of husbands begins, friends: with the customers!

I like to call this bunch of statements the Unholy Trinity – three sales objection-overcomers that deal specifically with skinflint spouses. If your husband was in MK, how would you feel knowing that he was telling his clients…

“I understand how you feel. In our family there are some buying decisions my husband makes without me like what kind of lawnmower to buy. I pretty much decide what is best for me. Besides, I promise it’s easier to ask forgiveness than it is permission. Why not go ahead and get what you need now and then you can get the rest later if he agrees – how does that sound? Great!” (NSD Rena Tarbet)

“You know – we could split up this payment. I take cash, check, post-dated check, and credit cards, and I can take all four at once. How about we do that? Split it all up, and your husband will never know. You could even write *name of favorite grocery store here* in your check registry.” (Former IBC)

Perhaps you’re thinking, “Big deal; this is basic sales and all companies do it to some degree!” While there might be some truth to that statement, those “other” companies aren’t the ones proudly proclaiming the motto, “God first and family second!” One cannot make such a claim and not expect to be held accountable for it. I mean, one of the reasons recruiters use to sell MK is for the “self-improvement” it supposedly brings. Can anyone tell me how encouraging one’s customers to lie to their husbands about their purchases improves anything?

The concept of “working full circle” applies nicely in this situation; the husband degradation starts in Skin Care Classes, continues in the recruiting interviews (“You don’t need his approval or else you’re not a decisive woman!”) and comes around full circle when IBCs teach their recruits to do likewise. If you’re a woman who is determined to “Encourage beautiful lives,” start today by shutting your ears to these deceptive teachings.

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18 Comments

My husband was there when I signed on. Since I was about to become a stay at home mom and since I had finished a great career with pension, he trusted me. After all MK lies and says you can work this fake opportunity part time. Part time lol. As if that is even remotely possible. Let’s not forget that even MK deceived herself forgetting all the time she spent phoning customers, stalking customers, avoiding her husbands and her children along the way. Not to mention deceiving her customers who were upset at having been conned into buying books they couldn’t afford or didn’t even want. My husband eventually wrote me a letter about his concerns. In the end my husband and children hated MK and get upset if the word MK even is mentioned many years later. Short term sacrifice for MK. Think again. Even MK herself ended up with a family torn apart by this exploitive mlm. The faith, family and career do not exist and never did. Husbands know that. They are the ones being cheated by their MK sales force. The women who spend many hours on the phone and doing those risky skin care classes miles away from home. At one place I was set up and my vehicle was taken for a joy ride by friends of the young woman who pretended to be interested in the opportunity. I’m lucky I got that car back and that I survived that encounter. Going into strangers homes isn’t exactly safe. My husband is my best friend. When he saw how illogical and phony MK was, he calmly recommended I stopped. He did not believe that the inventory I was buying (when corp changed it days later) would sell. No matter what you purchase your few customers will want something else. Do not ever buy those stupid Christmas specialty items or the non sellable laughable men’s products. Mk herself was shameful in teaching that lying to our husbands was ever acceptable. A lawn mower is a necessity. MK lipstick or any other MK product is over priced (rarely sells) and a waste of money. Your husband isn’t being controlling. He is being protective and rightly so from a company that pits women against caring men. In the end the MK company won’t be there for their sales force. Even NSD’s have been exploited by MK and why the first dynamic NSD Jackie Brown left to start her own company. Husbands know this is mlm and only the very first NSD’s from the 1970’s are okay financially. Many NSD’s after the 1980’s and the 2000’s are barely making it anymore.

Yep. The best example was when that lady with cancer sued (I’m drawing a blank on her name) when they took her caddy, long story short; MK responded in lawsuit “Mary Kay INC donated to cancer research”
Im like excuse me! How about you take care of your own. That’s being charitable. Especially when the woman who has cancer helped make a percentage of that money.

Memories of going to skin care classes and hoping you wouldn’t get robbed, wouldn’t get jumped on by a dog, sweated bullets in your hose & heels, and then left with horrible sales! Those pains had been buried until I saw your comment!

I remember warm chatting a lady and then showing up to her house for a class on my day off work. She didn’t answer the door. I was furious! I’d given up all that time making sure my washcloths were clean, my showcase packed, and then to see someone dodging me by not being home.

I went into houses that made me feel I needed a shower after I left, and I went into some where the husband stood over us and gawked at us. I had little kids sit down at the table. I had teens that wanted me to do their prom makeup AND their friends, yet I sold nothing.

But, I’ll never forget the trailer I pulled up to, started my class with my flip chart, and saw roaches climbing up the wall behind the guests. I didn’t know what to say or how to act. It was disgusting!

hope you get this email, Best Decision.
Years ago when I was an IBC, my neww recruit and I traveled about 110 mi. out of town into an area of the “boonies” in Nevada. The hostess had invited a large group of women. The house had a back, screened-in porch, and hanging-up were skins/furs of dead animals, and even some of the dead animals themselves!! My recruit commented: “Oh, those are interesting.” I, however, found nothing interesting about them!

Pinkvictim…I wish you all the best with de-pinking your wife. My husband really tried and I will admit I wanted to be a success. I wanted to help women. I wanted to be a stay at home mom and still bring in extra income. I honestly thought I needed some product so that when I did make a sale, I could provide good customer service. Problem is the company has way too many products and changes formulations etc. far too often at the expense of its sales force. The men at the top of this pyramid scheme don’t care about their sales women or their families. I think back in the day (1960’s) MK chose to mention she was a good Christian woman running a good Christian company. However, considering she and her son resented Jackie Brown having to deliver a baby (and stopping working as a director), the Faith, Family Career motto were a façade. So you have your work debunking the MK iconic quotes. That the founder wanted to empower women, that NSD and directors care about their consultants, that Seminar is wonderful, that training is free when it isn’t etc. I guess little by little the lie upon lie need to be exposed to your wife. It won’t be easy as there is a lot of girl/woman brain washing going on. They’ve become very good at it over the past 50 years.

“In our family there are some buying decisions my husband makes without me like what kind of lawnmower to buy.”

But presumably he goes out to buy it with a budget you’ve both agreed on. Not to mention the fact that a lawnmower is a long term purchase with many years of usage in it and resale value if you move to somewhere that doesn’t have a lawn.

If your husband regularly went out and bought lawnmowers when you already had one and they were more powerful than you needed (you don’t need a ride on mower if you’ve got a tiny little bit of garden) then you’d probably want to involve yourself.

This is one of the things I hated most about MK. Encourage someone to keep a secret from their husband? No thanks. Especially considering the fact that money is the number one issue couples argue about in marriage. I am not willing to create a problem or exacerbate an already existing problem in someone’s marriage just to make a few extra bucks. I also hate how when directors or consultants mention the husband unawareness plan that a lot of the mary kay women start laughing. I am pretty sure you wouldn’t be laughing if you found out your husband used the “wife unawareness plan” to hide a large purchase from you!

Well stated HHart. I’ve never sold MK – but, rather, was a witness to my sister’s career as an NSD. As much as I didn’t engage with how her business operated; she was obviously very successful and had achieved many of the dreams on her pep-club poster(s).

My experience, in the ‘real’ world of families and careers is that unless you are truthful in all your actions and take no one for hostage or granted you’ll land on your feet if only just eventually.

I love that you showed that the women would be enraged (or should be) if all decisions (save wonderful anniversary or birthday surprises) were not made as a team. One wonders what goes through a spouses mind when determining to be untruthful with their partner. As a woman, who has been in business with a spouse, my beliefs are mostly founded on my experience of being lied to or simply kept out of a scenario or circumstances that effected our home life too and it was as those things unfolded I started to mentally pack my bags.

Watched something similar several times with MK husband’s regretting the lack of transparency between the woman he married and the schill she’s become in order to survive.

Sorry, but, marriage and partnership are sacred relationships that shouldn’t be put under a more ridiculous stress to lose money, break even or even reap the NSD sash ~ glitter and tiara’s do not a happy home make.

If you want a real zinger as to what can happen, listen to my tale of MK woe. My wife just had to keep on with this ridiculous MK pyramid scheme. I stayed out of it because she said she’d make it work and she enjoyed all of the social aspects. The Mary Kay Chase card balance is over $4,900.00; all for product which has been sitting on shelves in our basement for months on end. Chase calls the house repeatedly demanding payment but will give me no information as I am not the card hold and as such “not responsible for the debt.” But guess what? I just tried to refinance our home and was denied based on hercredit score. All due to non-payment on the Mary Kay Chase Credit Card for product that has gone unsold month after month. I may not be responsible for the Mark Kay CC debt, but I am responsible for my wife’s behavior when it comes to paying her debts in a timely manner. Husbands beware: Mark Kay will f*ck with your live and and finances.

You’re not the first person I’ve heard say this. A Director where I live swaps cc balances month to month because she can’t pay it off. She pays for Stater Kits and does all kinds of clever things to finish cars, Offspring units, diamond rings, and diamond bees. Another I know does nearly the same and has taught all of her now-former Directors how to cheat the system so they get ahead in recognition or whatever.

My thought is this: If you do either the Sales or Sharing court as a Director, you should easily be in a Director car. If you’re not, you’ve just told us all you bought your ring or bee. Make/Miss Directors, this means you!