Great short story. You're really good at allowing time to pass in your stories in a minimal amount of words. I also love (and hate) that sadness in your stories, which really brings them to life.

If there's one area where I think you could improve, it would be the ending. I've noticed with a few of your stories that the endings sometimes fall flat. I think that the story would feel deeper if you ended with a more emotional scene, like Rebecca silently shedding a tear or watching Raven's back as he walked away.

It's a great story, though, and I definately enjoyed reading it. Thanks for writing!

You know, I'm not sure how I've never noticed this fic before... But was just browsing through your story list to find something to read because my brain is seriously just so fried from school I thought maybe reading a fanfic would be a good idea, haha. P.S. I'm still alive?

Anyway, I actually really really enjoyed this. I love the RavenRebecca pairing, and it's even better when it's angsty because Raven's just such a flake. But I think you've definitely drawn that distinction right, because I see him a capable of loving, but the committing thing DOES seem to be very difficult for him. Anyway, I have nothing else of use because I have no brain cells left, but I really just don't have any criticisms, haha!

I utterly love your short stories that have big impact anyways. This is one of those. Maybe because I'm a Raven fan. I agree with you. I believe Raven is loyal to those he chooses, but he's the kind who doesn't make promises. And he seems considerate enough, too. I love how Rebecca describes him on the first part. Gah, this is no doubt going to influence how I write Rebecca and Raven in one of my uber-long fics.

I cannot thank you enough for writing this for me. You hit my thoughts of RavenRebecca dead-on, and left me speechless, especially since you usually don’t write a pairing such as this.

[He was just bad—badass and bad news.] I loved this line. The way you phrased this left me grinning, and it was an accurate assessment to boot.

[He was his own person—and somebody she knew that she could depend on…

On the battlefield.] I love your blocking skills—I know I’ve said it over and over, but they are a thing of wonder. This part…I liked how it started and got your hopes up a little, before the next phrase crashed them. The emphasis on “on the battlefield” made me feel bad for Rebecca, but at the same time, it still offered the hope that he was dependable…

[Maybe it was the way he carried himself, so tall and proud and /sure/.] I have no idea what it was, but I loved this line.

[“You don’t have to be good for me,” she said. “You just have to love me.”] This line made me wince a little. Poor Rebecca is seeing things as she’d like them to be, blinded by love for him, and…ouch.

[“Commitment.”] And so you hit the issue that I’ve always wondered about for Raven. The guy has commitment issues, for sure. I mean, if you look at how he keeps pushing everyone away and tries to just be distant and all, it’s fairly obvious. I love how you used that, instead of just going “Eh, let’s make it a happily ever after. The end.”

Wonderful job, and wonderful fic. Thank you so, so much for writing this!