After what felt like the shortest making of a celebrity baby in the history of celebrity baby making, Adele gave birth to a baby on Friday night. Nurses and doctors at the hospital in Britain where she popped her first kid out were seen crying sad tears into a bowl of cake batter and lost dreams, because even Adele’s birthin’ yodel sounds like a sad, sad love song. The Sun says that 24-year-old Adele returned from the moon to birth out her first kid with her boyfriend Simon Konecki.The Daily Mail asked Adele’s rep about this, but Adele’s rep did what most of us are doing on this Hangover Sunday. Adele’s rep rolled over on their side in their bed, screamed at the DM to get them a cheesy bagel and then ordered everyone to stop putting words in their ears.

“We are not releasing a statement at this time. No comment.”

So we don’t have a name or any other highly important details. The only thing we do know is that Adele’s baby is in his crib, currently humming out a song about breaking up with his mom’s womb. It will be debut #1 on iTunes in 15 countries and Grey’s Anatomy will play it during a montage in their next episode.

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