Month: June 2015

For a week I had been suffering a fake flu caused by chemo. As no medication would fix said fake flu, I made a decision to remedy it myself with a few bottles of bubbles and blow me down with a feather, I woke up without a sniffle today! I could well be calling myself Dr Amanda Meow Bubbles Bailey but that could well end me in court again but we shant go into that right now.

Anyhoo, this week is chemo week. So, I have been to both chemists. One being ‘sip n save’ bottle shop for a few more bottles of bubbles and the other to the actual chemist for my anti nausea, headache and sleeping tablets. All ready for post Thursday spa therapy commonly known as chemotherapy.

Another thing for today is bloody crappola Auntie Flo visited. I woke with the words “Are you effin Serious?” Here are a few words for YOU Auntie Flow bitch face cow..

*Breast Cancer

*Chemo

*Lethargy

I do not have the time, energy or patience for Auntie Flo right now. For those of you who haven’t met Auntie Flo… She is that horrid bitch of a woman who visits most ‘teenagers’ and continues until middle age flooding her bloody yuck stuff for years on end right before that other Auntie called Aunt Menopause moves in. In any case, I dont get a choice as to when this horrid Auntie Flo visits but in all honesty, I thought she had died because chemotherapy brings on menopause and as I hadn’t had a visit from her since hospital, I assumed it was my time for Aunt Menopause to come along. Remember that visit? Lets not revisit that but anyway, it seems Auntie Flo is still visiting.

Here is another thing. Having cancer causes a hell of a lot of paperwork. Thankfully my gorgeous and amazing, soon to be inlaws, suggested Sam and I get income insurance when we built our home ‘just in case’. Unfortunately that just incase happened in the way of Breast Cancer so yay us, we are covered. Not 100% but still, any amount of money coming our way helps us keep our home and keeps our bills paid and food on the table. What is irritating is that paperwork.

Seriously, I would be all well and good to fill in the paperwork myself each month to send off to the insurance company to ensure my monthly payment is made. But, to make my surgeon or oncologist to also fill in this paperwork is insane.

People always talk about doctors and nurses being overworked (and Sam and I can totally agree and see this) but then to put forward paperwork every month for either my surgeon or oncologist to fill in four pages of paperwork is just wrong. These doctors and oncologists and nurses are there to help and serve their patients. They should not be bogged down with paperwork to ensure I get my income insurance is paid.

I had to wait weeks and weeks for my amazing surgeon to fill in the first lot of paperwork, I had to phone three times to get this paperwork back. Each and every time I phoned, I felt bloody awful because this man had cut the fist sized cancer out of my body, had taken 9 cancerous lymph nodes from my body, in short, saved my life, but here I was begging his receptionist to get him to fill that paperwork in so I could pay the mortgage.

Why does someone who has spent half of their life learning to save lives, to cut out cancer, to give impeccable bedside service and so much more, have to fill in so much paperwork so that the people he saved, can get their insurance money. I am more than happy for a representative from the insurance company to come visit me, view my scars, look at my medicine cabinet and look at me, and then realise that yes, I am still fighting cancer. Yes, my chemo still makes me quite sick. Yes, my lethargy stops me even going out for coffee.

It makes me angry that the insurance companies make these amazing surgeons and oncologists take their time away from saving people from this crappy disease to fill in paperwork.

On an end note, it is super freezing in the Adelaide Hills right now so I shall go and stoke that fire, grab some socks and snuggle in for a few hours on my new bean bag with my Janeeee blankee and watch a spot of TV before bed.

Todays Featured Image is a photo of my mums gorgeous Peppie who I babysat one time. He was so nervous having to stay with Brady (Big White Dog) and I in the city but once he settled in, this was the smile we received xx. How gorgeous is he? Just looking at this little boy makes me smile 🙂

I know I have read a lot about how ‘blacks’ did not belong with a white man/woman. Who the hell decides this? Who decides who can love who?

My Sam came from a religious background where as I came from an army, move about background. I can tell you right now that I do not wish to enter into a life where I came from. Where a man felt it his right to ‘bash’ his wife for no reason. I am sure Sam feels it is not ‘my’ right being with him to go to church every Sunday.

I have an amazing friend who is neither white nor black but in the olden days, I am pretty sure her love for her ‘white’ man would be fround upon but today, it is ok,

So, why can my daughter, who is in love with another woman, not freely marry the one she loves? Why do ‘we’ find it such an outrage in today’s society? Today an African woman can marry an English man. My Hungarian/Asian friend can marry a Ben. (Sorry Ben, I don’t know what you are 🙂 )

There should be no government, Facebook page, society or group that can block such a love, a union of people who love one another.

There is a good chance I will ‘lose’ a group of people who may follow me but come on….. there was a time we couldn’t associate with coloured people and now, we are supposed to oppose a marriage between same sex couples? I know a lot of marriages that should never have happened.

Let love be love. Keep your nose out of it and it wont ‘affect; you.

What does it matter to you if a black marries a white? What does it matter if a girl marries a girl? A boy marries a boy?

It is none of your business so, stay out of it and all will be good.

My baby girl is in love with another persons baby girl. These two girls are now woman who are in love with each other. It is not up to me, her father, her family or anyone to judge. If my girl is happy, that is all I care about. I am sure the same is for my daughters partner.

At the end of the day, how does it affect you?

Look out of your back window. Is the love of my daughter with her partner affecting you right now? Are you seeing something disgusting outside your window? No. It is only what is in your mind that is affecting you.

Dr Hands was out of Jacks and Cola. Me, for once, being the sober one offered to head down to what I call the chemist but what is in actual fact, the drive through bottle o’. I parked in the ‘browse’ section because that is what I am used to doing and I am glad I did.

Once I walked in I saw Ashley. You know Ashely….. the one who yelled out from his postal bike ‘what did you do to your head’ and ‘oh Amanda, you have a present!’

Well, he part times his work at the bottle shop and I love that.

I walked in and he says, Hey Shiney!! That is because I have no hair covering. It is mostly bald head with a bit of shadow of prickly hair at the back. We have a good laugh at it and he says, I’d be more embarrased heading out in those slippers that I would without a head covering hehe.

Then, I ask him to pick me up that carton of jacks and cola and then he says, no wonder you dont look like you are going through cancer/chemo by drinking this stuff! I try to explain it isn’t me that drinks it, it is Sam and he laughs, not believing me but I dont care because we have big laughs and giggles. This, this is what I love about living in a small town. My postie also serves me at the bottle shop 🙂

And, he laughs with me. He isn’t embarrassed by my baldish head. He laughs about spitting chips (I think it was chips) while laughing at one of my jokes.

Living in a small town has its advantages. I have read so much about the disadvantages about small towns but we are lucky here in Meadows. Everyone might know about everyone but boy can they laugh. Even my clean, Spanna Shanna is a laugh.

So, while I lapped up Ashleys lovely words about me looking and presenting well with my cancer, it made me realise that I am ok. I can look forward to a happy and long life once I am done with all of this horrid cancer bizzo. There will be a day soon when I am complaining about it being only Tuesday when I wish it was Friday.

Now is not the time for those wishes but between my sweet and funny Ashley (bottle shop person and Postie), gorgeous and nurturing neighbours, Dr Hands of course, Bossy and helpful cousins, My mama, and of course, that gorgeous and amazing daughter of mine, I am doing ok. I will deal with the feelings that some people describe as side effects, the endless days and nights sleeping off the feelings, I will be ok.

In the meantime, I will continue to fight cancer in MY way and soon enough, will be back at work doing what I love.

You know how some people can raise an eyebrow when they are interested in something you are saying? Well, I have never had that skill but I soon will have that skill on a semi permanent time frame.

I am losing my eyebrow. Notice there is no S on the word eyebrow? That is because only 1 eyebrow is falling out. FFS. Can’t something just happen evenly?

My head still has a small shadow of prickly hair that hasn’t fallen out. And now I am going to look interested in everything someone is saying to me!

What if someone is talking about something boring like well, I dont know, say, retaining walls? Dr Hands and Nurse John (Neighbour) talked endlessly about retaining walls when we were both building and OMG it was always sooo boring and even with my boring look face on, they would still talk and talk and talk.

In any case, that is probably the most interesting thing that has happened this week. I have slept for the majority of the week because I am still suffering this ‘fake flu’ which is a feeling from chemo. I was hoping it would have been gone by now because my next spa treatment is Thursday 2nd of July.

My other feelings this week are as follows

* Skin Dryness – Major! Thank you to my sister for that huge tub of cream.

* Tiredness/Lethargy – Major

* Flu feelings

* Headaches – Minor

Today, random photo is a very young Brady (1 year old in this photo) as he turns the big 7 years old tomorrow.

And here is Brady in my new ‘spot’ with some of my favourite things being, my Janneeee (Auntie Janets Blanket), new bean bag paid for by Sam, my soon to be 7 year old gorgeous boy Brady, Owl slippers from my lovely Tamara, fluffy white beanie for the cold days/nights on my nude nut from my mama and of course, the fox tell remote.

How poshy does Brady look here LOL. Here is another not so posh

oh ok, just one more 🙂

What you can’t see is the glass of bubbles I have next to me while I write this post. The great thing with the spa therapy nausea, nothing makes it better or worse so bubbles are easy to digest during these times. 🙂

Yep, that is me sneezing my guts out. Unfortunately, it isn’t the flu. I can’t take any cold and flu tablets to get rid of this. T

This ‘illness’ is a side effect from chemo. I think. I sneeze like crazy, constant runny nose and a bit of a cough. But, I don’t care too much because, it is saving my life. Not everyone agrees with chemotherapy or radiation therapy, both of which I have chosen to continue with but it is my choice and I am going to embrace this lifesaving technology. And deal with the feelings (side effects) that come with it.

Today, I had a day out. I put on my pretty little hat that Gilda had delivered to me, I popped on some make up and off I went. Sam had sent me a text saying he would take me out when he got home from work but I declined. I woke feeling pretty good today and I was ready to face the world. And, I really wanted to buy a bean bag.

My bed is my most favourite place in the whole wide world. What I am frightened off with all these chemo feelings is that I might fall out of love with my bed. Saturday I slept until about 5ish. Monday, I was up at about 6pm. So you see, I am having some really bad days where I spend hours upon hours in bed.

I know this would be a dream for some people and in all honesty, this is the most favourite feeling given to me from chemo. Sleeping through the headaches, nausea, dizziness and what not is great. But, I dont want to get to a stage where I dislike my bed. That would be terrible because I honestly have an intense love for my bed.

So, this beanbag I bought I figured might/will be a great alternative. My sofa is about 13 years old and isn’t so comfy anymore and Sam’s sofa is, well, woody. I say woody because if you ‘throw’ yourself down on to it you get a big bar of wood in your back. Enter, beanbag. I will hide it from my gorgeous dogs because I would love just one thing NOT to smell like a dog.

Anyway, I have one week today until next spa therapy session (chemo) and I am thinking that I should be feeling amazing but it isn’t so yet. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel amazing but I doubt that too. I say this because I seem to have a good day followed by a not so good day. I have my positive feelings saying that tomorrow is going to be amazing and I will be up and about to do some chores that I have on my list of things to do.

Thanks to my cousins and family, there isn’t a great deal of housework to do. There are always things to do though hey? Not important things but just things.

I want to walk Brady (my big white groodle) because not only will he (and I) love our walks but his nails are getting long and boy they are loud on our floor boards. I want to assemble a simple Ikea side table, fill a bean bag etc.

What I am happy about though is that I made pumpkin soup today. Sam doesn’t like my soup which is great because it means there is so much more for me. There is a bit of healthy intake that included butternut pumpkin, onion, garlic, sweet potato, chicken stock and a bit of cream. One must have some dairy right? I am pleased with this ‘healthy dish’ because yesterday, I had nothing to eat but pancakes for dinner. Appetite is real hit and miss these days. I feel it is best to eat what you feel like when you feel like it because that craving/appetite goes just as quickly as it arrives.

My big question today is for those who have had/have cancer and have had/having their lymph nodes removed. Have you thought of or had a medic alert bracelet made in case of emergency? You know how we can’t have any blood taken, IV’s inserted etc… What happens in a car accident or a head injury where you can’t tell the doctors or nurses not to use that arm?

Random Photo of Brady again because seeing a photo of me with my red nose, bald head, dry skin, is just not as cute as my Groodle Brady …..

At 7:15pm I went to bed. I read my Game of Thrones book number 2 and was hot. On went the ceiling fan.

8pm, I’m up at cold. On goes the ducted heating and I am now warm. Kelly is sleeping on MY sofa and I have another glass of bubbles. I am wondering why I am up and awake because at 7:15, I was so tired, sick to my stomach (remember that stomach virus I have?) and boiling hot and now I am freezing, wide awake and needing some bubbles. FYI – Bubbles are non french champagne which I think we now have to call Sparkling Wine.

Now, at 10:20pm, I have emailed my bosses with the reality that my six months leave could now be between 12 and 15 months leave. I hated having to send that email because I wanted to do it person to persons. The shitty thing with that is I have a great day, where I am feeling good and energised but tomorrow, that might not be the case.

I have had days where I have felt incredible, missed work, life and living. Then the following day, I could be shit. Stuck in bed, even unable to get unable to get up and even tell big white dog Brady to shut up his barking. I can be almost comotosed and unresponsive. I hate that I can’t predict or plan things.

Today I felt A OK when I woke but the time Spanna came (the cleaner hired by my gorgeous and amazing family) arrived, I felt nauseas, dizzy and headachey. There is no predicting how I am going to feel day to day and I really bloody hate that.

Now, at 10:24pm, I am wide awake, mind running a million miles an hour.

Here are my thoughts tonight

* Is my job safe

* Will I feel great tomorrow

* Is that tingling feeling in my cheeks an upcoming blister thing?

* Will I be able to sleep in the next few hours

* Are my shoulders just tight from stress, chemo or something else?

I hate the nights I can’t sleep. I really super duper dislike nausea. I absolutely love that families come together in times of need. I enjoy hearing bitchy witchy Kelly snoring on the sofa while I sit here with a spinny head and nauseas stomach. She cares not for me but only for the sofa and I love that about her.

My feelings today are

Television really sucks. There is rarely anything on this square thing that I enjoy. It is shit. shit shit sit.

Nausea

Headache

Blurred Vision

Irritability

PS: I still have some prickles left on my head which really piss me off. Give me all or nothing. I have shadows on my head. The front part of my head is almost bald and shiny. Seriously, I am not bullshitting, because, when I walk into the ensuite, I see the reflection of the lights off my head. But the back part still has prickles and they really piss me off.

So today was the day. My beautiful family have all pitched in and hired a cleaner for Sam and I for the next three months. As most of you know, Sam works full time, is taking care of me post surgery, chemo, sickness etc and running the whole house hold. Today, Sam came home from work, we chatted (not sure how he felt about having to do that bit with me), had a couple of cans of ‘jacks’ and had a wee little nap after work.

The house was spotless.

Our cleaner spent a little extra time today being the ‘first’ clean and all but as of next Thursday (and fortnightly from then on), she’ll be here for only a couple of hours doing floors and bathrooms and such. Aaaaahhhhh. It is amazing.

Did I feel uncomfortable sitting in my lounge room listening to a vacuum cleaner not being used by Sam or myself? Nup. Loved it in fact! She is even a bit bossy telling Sam and I not to walk on the floors for ten minutes after she had cleaned them ahahaha. She is sooo like my bossy cousin Linda!

It really was a perfect day for her to be here though because I have been a bit poorly as of late. Yes I know, cancer and chemo and whatnot can cause a few unwell days. Well, it seems as though Sam and I have a wee stomach bug.

I figured my upset stomach was just another one of my chemo feelings but nope, Sam has a yucky tummy too.

Another great thing happened today, more squares! Yep, that’s right. Ashley (the postie) was so bloody excited today about my ‘presents’ as he calls them. They are never parcels. Never deliveries but always presents!

Not only did I get more squares but I received squares from people I have never met! That is something that blogging and facebook are great for. For bringing together people. Whatever the reason but for me, I have so much support not only from my friends and family but also family and friends of my friends and family. Did you get all that?

So, here is a pic of my current collection! I loooooove each and every square…….. Thank you to everyone who has contributed to my ever growing blanket. You have no idea how much these all mean to me xx

Who is your hero? – My hero is my Mum. She managed to give me the most amazing and wonderful childhood no matter what the situation. There were heaps of shitty and crappy times for her during my childhood but at the time, I had absolutely no idea of the struggles or sadness she was going through. I was happy, well cared for, clean and well fed. My Mum was and still is my Hero.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Right where I am. In the beautiful small town of the Adelaide Hills called Meadows.

What is your biggest fear? Losing a loved one. I have been very lucky to have kept the most amazing and loved ones near and close. I dread the day that ends …..

What is your favorite family vacation? We don’t do family vacations but in my childhood – it was Easter camping with the family, Aunts and Uncles, cousins and family etc, all at the empty spot in Lamaroo.

What would you change about yourself if you could? I would change the fact I am having to deal with Breast Cancer, Chemo and general blugh.

What motivates you to work hard? Dependance. People depending on me to get the job done. That is what motivates me. Oh, and energy. I kinda need that too 🙂

What is your favorite thing about your career? It is a sole ownership job. I make the decision and it gets done. I don’t have anyone over my shoulder questioning my decision.

What is your biggest complaint about your job? That I can’t work it right now (due to this whole cancer bizzo)

What is your proudest accomplishment? Raising a daughter who is beautiful inside and out.

What is your child’s proudest accomplishment? I am unsure of this answer.

What is your favorite book to read? The Power of One – Bryce Courtenay

What makes you laugh the most? Sam Wilkinson (Dr Hands) The love of my life

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Gone Girl. Loved it. Thank you Accalia and Stacey for taking me to see not only this movie but to see it in gold class!!

What did you want to be when you were small? An Actress… A Model,… A Police Woman

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? When Accalia was little, she wanted to be a cartoon voice.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? 100% Healthy

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? I used to love tennis and netball. I play neither now but if I could play 1, I would choose tennis.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? A horse I think. I drive a car a lot, a bike is too much energy while I fight this cancer bizzo so a horse would be a nice change.

What would you sing at Karaoke night? Give me a bottle of bubbles and I am your singing superstar. I think I would attempt ‘Blinded By The Light’ – You just need to get your panadol ready 🙂

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? I choose between easy listening and the top 40 one.

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Can I chose to clean the fridge of the bubbles please? ok fine, I will vacuum because we have a new vacuum cleaner

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Well, thanks to my gorgeous cousins, I will soon have help to clean my house!! So yes, I chose the cleaning thank you

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Oh wow, thats a hard one. I am thinking a Lobster salad but having seen Cast Away, I saw how quickly he got sick of seafood. Can one get sick of Lobster and because I chose Lobster Salad, that means I get lettuce and capers and tomato and cucumber and such right? Yeah, lets go with Lobster Salad.

Who is your favorite author? Bryce Courtney before his divorce. I have nothing against his 2nd wife but his writing seemed to change after his 1st divorce. I love his books being The Potato Factory, Tandia, The Power Of One, Jessica etc. Once he moved on to wife number 2, his books didn’t captivate me as much but I still love him R.I.P.

This is what I call the ‘MAGIC TREE’ and I took this photo quickly with my mobile phone.

This tree is where I super duper want to be married at. Married to Dr Hands aka Sam. We have spoke to the owner of the land where this tree lives in Kuitpo Forrest in the Adelaide Hills and she is more than happy to let us marry there.

The tree is dead I know. But how magnificent is it? Here are the trees surrounding it. This might give you some perspective on the difference on the view. There are certain times of the day when the entire forest looks dark and gloomy but there will be a gleam of sunshine, a huge ray of light, shining on MY magic tree…

See, the tree’s that surround my special magic tree are totally different. That is what makes it all so much more special.

Brady and I have been out there a few times. He loves it because there are a lot of sticks to chose from and provide for throwing. The tree is where I want to make my vows to Sam and become his wife. To take his name forever.

So, when you see that tree pop up on your email, facebook or blog feed, you’ll now know, that is what I call my magic tree.

My quick pic photo with my phone captured it perfectly.

PS: There has been no photo editing on this tree because it is absolutely perfect, just the way it is…..

I am a man who believes romance should never die, movies make for a great night, custom suiting is a must and creating a legacy is one's purpose. A man who holds true to this understands the gentleman's lifestyle.