It is a very strange sensation that I feel when I read how other people describe themselves and all of the things that they're doing or all of their achievements... all of the adjectives that they use, all of the things that they do for the world, they list down all the dreams that they have... it's weird for me to hear people refer to themselves as "gurus", as "world-changers"... it's like people WANT to be all of these things... and it's strange for me because these things are thrust upon me but I never asked for them! I don't want to use many adjective to describe myself; I just want to say that I am a person who likes cake. Red velvet specifically. Well, blue velvet is on my wish list (never had that one yet). I grow tired of people telling me how much my work has changed their lives... because honestly, I don't have a dream of changing people's lives! I'm merely friendly, authentic, and I like to meet people— that is all. I don't have a dream of changing the world! And I simply rise to the occasion only because chance keeps on putting me on this path! If I were only living in a beautiful home, with beautiful children, in a beautiful place with beautiful flowers and many chocolates, I would be just as happy as I am now that many people know my name and know about what I do. I might even be happier! Why? Well I suppose this is the difficulty that I bear only because I actually know the meaning of life! Those who do not understand the meaning of life, do not share in this knowledge which can become a burden to have! Am I supposed to grow happier as more and more people know my name? I don't think so... I would rather live in a place where there is much cake at every corner! And many nice shoes to buy! Am I supposed to grow happier because my work changes the lives of people? Why should I? The only portion of the world that we are responsible for, is the portion of the world that is in our hearts and souls! Nobody is born to change anything but his or herself. A flower grows and buds and blossoms, not to make the whole garden beautiful; but a flower grows and buds and blossoms because it wants to. Because it is a flower. And I am just a flower. A flower who finds it strange why and how other flowers think that they are changing the whole garden! Again, this is my fate to think like this, only because I know the meaning of a flower. And so, perhaps there is a truth to the saying that goes, "It is not good to have too much wisdom."
People send me emails and ask who I am, and I say, "I am me." What else am I supposed to say and what else am I supposed to be? Again, all I know is that before I started doing what it is that I am doing, I felt that there was something that I should be doing! There is a hunger that is planted into the hearts of flowers that are supposed to do things! So, where is the choice, where is the free will, in this? Is free will a reality, if you are destined to go hungry if you do not do something? What if you don't want to do it? What if you just want to be a flower that is there because it wants to be there and not because it must affect the whole garden? But then... you are hungry and so you search for that which may fill your hunger! And then you will always find it strange why other people go around and broadcast how hungry they are! "I do this, I do that, I am this, I am that... I save the world..." all it sounds like to me, is, "I am hungry." And that is why I don't describe myself in such ways; instead, I just say that I want to eat cake! Because then that solves the whole problem!

Women are like bodies of water, and we are all bodies of water to different degrees of flow, greatness, reach, so on and so forth. This is the soul of woman. All women have individual souls, yes, but all of these individual souls are likened unto bodies of water. This is just the nature of the souls that we have.

Today, men are being taught by columnist and blogger and editor and author and, "expert", to deal with women according only to what the corporeal nature has to say about her. In magazine columns and blog posts, books and articles here and there— we are referred to as if we are animals to be analysed. Only physical bodies without souls.

Right now, we are at a definite point in time where men are being taught to define a, "real woman" as someone who can easily detach herself, someone who is, "not needy", "not clingy" and, "not jealous"... all these "not's"... which are all really just descriptions of not being a soul that cares about anything other than what is immediately practical. So men are taught to look for these traits in order to identify, "real" women, and then they marry these types of women, and then when the relationship becomes no longer practical, they are of course left by these types of women in favour of what is more practical and then the men are left in a sorry corner writing, "notes-to-self" about how all women are evil whores on the inside, and are materialistic beasts who only care about physical things. But here is my "note-to-men": you are being taught to search for this type of woman as the ideal woman, and because this is what women know you are looking for, this is what women in turn become! They become what you are more likely to choose! At the end of the day, the minds of men are moulded into wanting the very monsters that will break their hearts somewhere down the road, anyway.

All throughout antiquity, it is the Goddess nature of the watery soul of the woman, to find security and solidarity in a man who possesses the strength enough to weather her storms and to stand strong throughout the very natures she possesses that make her a woman. The nature of the REAL woman, is to want to know that she has a man with whom she may feel free to be human! The ideal man is like a lighthouse, a beacon of light, a source of solidarity and reassurance! Strength. Inner strength and fortitude. How is a woman to know if a man is strong enough, if he is being taught to shun the very oceans, seas, rivers, waves that are vital to the woman's watery existence? In our oceans can be found shipwrecks, lost souls, coral reefs, treasures, pearls, diamonds and rubies... but can a man stand strong in the midst of all of these— this is the question! And it is when we are driven away from this innate spiritual need and desire, that we fall. If we are not secure in our freedom to flow and to feel and to be human, because there is not that strength that stands strong for us, then that is when love becomes pointless and simply a matter of practicality. But it was never initially that way, it was never meant to be that way. Our lighthouses are taken away from us by the very people who claim to know us so well (bloggers, editors, authors, "experts", so on and so forth).

Now, I'm really not talking about uncultured, uncivilised, barbaric behaviour here. As with all things, there are of course individuals who are simply uncultured and honestly quite barbaric and manipulative; of course, as another human being, you do want to steer clear of those kinds of people! Be they men or women! So, what I'm writing here is really not to say that I want to defend all forms of uncivilised behaviour and mentalities in females— no. But I need you to raise your consciousness higher right now and dwell upon the purpose of the female soul on a quantum and spiritual level. It is her nature to seek the lighthouse, it is her nature to yearn to be loved, it is her nature to protect what she loves, it is her nature to lavish in the elements that make her human, to swim in the very sea that is her soul! And yet it is this very nature that is attacked by modern day society and ridiculed and trampled under foot, in favour of the detached, conniving, "practical" woman of today. And there's nothing wrong with being a practical person. But if you are so practical to the point that you don't care about how you feel on the inside— that's when you know you have a problem with existing as a living being on this planet!

There is not a problem with the female in general. Your, "notes-to-self" written in your lonesome corners are the published products of the monsters that you created. And it is modern day mainstream mentality that is in turn responsible for moulding these ideals in your minds, in the first place. The "monster moulds" were put there in your heads and you bought the moulds, and you baked cookies with them and then your cookies went bad, you went ahead and decided to blame it on the dough and the chocolate chips and everything else but your own cookie cutters!

I am of course not saying that all women are good people and all men have made monsters out of women— no. But what I am saying, is, that it is time for every man to step back from what is being fed to him in his mind and to reflect upon what the nature of the woman really is. They have made you think that you are a, "real man" if you have a, "real woman"... the definition of, "real" here, is really actually, "unreal". I know for certain that everything I have read out there that is written about women, is not applicable to me, at least. It's probably not applicable to many other women out there, too. Like the desire to control? The desire to "catch"? They say all of us are like that... we want to, "tame" a man and after the taming is over, we are no longer interested... I find it fascinating how minds can even begin to accept this as truth! Maybe the degenerate female exudes these character traits— yes. But then there are also many degenerate males out there, and we can't all go comparing all other men to the degenerate ones. Same story with women. The articles I read don't even touch on the female soul, and they are usually, almost always, born from a story that starts out like this: "I wrote this to empower all men, everywhere, after that slut broke my heart ten years ago..." And I'm telling you that, when a story starts out like that— any story— it's the kind of advice you really want to stay away from. Like, really! That's the kind of advice that's going to plant poisonous seeds of bitterness in your minds and hearts!

I want to tell all the misled "experts" out there... you are not going unseen and unwatched! I see you! You are lemmings leading other lemmings and you are not doing a good difference in the world— no.

As a last statement to this piece of writing, I would like to encourage all my fellow women out there, to not fall into the trap of what men are made to think that they want! We have the power to bring back the ancient light of the divine feminine! We have to stop listening to what they say about us, and actually rise to the occasion. To the beautiful occasion of being Goddess. Women are of sound mind, we are caring, we are loyal, we are steadfast, we are flowing water, we want to be loved and we want to love, we want to be cared for and we want to care, we love truly and deeply and we fly high and freely. We are to be desired because we are true, real, authentic and vulnerable. And all of this is so very beautiful.

How much of the energy that we carry around, is actually our own? How many of the voices that we hear in our heads, are actually our own tone of voice? How many of the thoughts that you have, are actually coming from your own energies, and not the thoughts that are products of energies of other people who have had influence in your life, that are encroaching upon your own?
I caught myself mid-sentence into a thought, realising that the noise in my head wasn't even my own sentiment! It was actually the voice of my mother! How odd! And then my mind picked up on this in a nano-second and I was able to identify the source of other thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis, and surprisingly, those sentiments belonged to other people who have had influence in my life, as well! The unfortunate part about that, is that it's not usually the positive voices of people in your life that leave lasting footprints upon your mind; it's more likely the negative words spoken to you that leave scars upon your thoughts, and you end up getting used to those thought patterns, that are not even a representation of yourself! It's not to say that every interaction you've had with a certain person has been negative; but it's just to say that positivity doesn't leave scars. It's negativity that leaves scars, that leaves, "debris."
So how much of the patterns that we fall into, are not actually representations of ourselves or how we actually feel as individuals? How much of the noise in your head is from voices representing opinions that are not even your own? Because if you can identify who those voices belong to— you can free yourself!
I was just telling my son yesterday, about how it is the nature of things with roots within ourselves, to become uprooted upon discovery! There are things in our souls that are like moulds on bathroom walls! They thrive because it's moist and there's no sunlight. You uproot the moulds in your soul simply by tearing off the ceiling, or by breaking open the windows, or by really just burning down the walls! How does this happen? By simple discovery! There is no work involved! These things may only exist when they go undiscovered; but once they are discovered? Their roots disintegrate!
When you are able to catch your thoughts in mid-sentence, and pick up on the fact that the tone of voice isn't even your own— you are able to uproot the influence of that very same opinion in your head! How many people are you allowing to rent your mind? And the pay for that rent isn't even good! The pay they are giving you is heartache, broken relationships, and wayward thinking! Now, I do not mean this in a schizophrenic kind of a way; but I mean this in an everyday way, the kind where we're all walking around with opinions and wayward thinking left in our minds by past relationships and by negative experiences with people of influence in our lives. But if you do have schizophrenia— who knows— perhaps the same basic principle applies! I don't know, but maybe!
We think that we can go through life bravely enough to take things like broken relationships and precarious situations, head-on! But the reality is that we are left scarred and the scars are honestly not worth it. That is why I am an advocate of self-care, and of not "Y-O-L-O-ing" around! Sure, "you only live once", but what's on the other side of that? On the other side of that, you're dead! And that's a pretty big price to pay, I think!
Regardless of where the opinions in our minds come from— whether they come from our direct choices that we've made to take people and situations head-on with disregard to the outcome; or whether they come from circumstances that we couldn't control, like when we were children and were vulnerable in life and couldn't make our own choices— we've got to start catching ourselves mid-sentence into thought! We've got to start identifying where our negative vibes come from, why they're there, and really stop to ask ourselves, Do I even support this belief? Is this even my own experience, or am I carrying this around because someone I loved so much was hurt in this way? Does this opinion even resonate with my own energy in life? Is this energy I'm carrying around even my own?
Lots of times, people can act like you are an "energy trashcan" and really just dump their own negative energy onto you! Stuff that you don't need and don't deserve! In fact, I like to think of the issue of borders and immigration, as the macro picture of what is going on, on a micro level! On the micro level, you've got people in your everyday life encroaching upon your own personal energy field resources! You have your own borders; but these borders are pushed upon and tested! We see this on the macro level with immigration issues. The same principle applies to our daily lives as individuals. YOU have to exercise your energy boundaries! YOU have to preserve your energy levels! I don't think people realise that what we see in the world is a reflection of what is going on, on a quantum level! The quantum level being the sub-atomic particles of YOU! Your energy resources, within your own auric field, are precious natural resources that other people will inevitably covet and will try to get a piece of— in any way possible! They can do this by trying to elicit emotional reactions from you through provocation, they can try to do this by really just preying on your predisposition to be there for others and to listen to them, they can do this by picking a fight! Because in all of these scenarios, there is an exchange of energy that happens between you and the other individual.
You've got to treat your energy like gold. On the spiritual levels, gold can be compared to AEther/ The AEth. You've got to treat your AEther like you'd treat gold in your savings account. You've got to guard it and really choose the people whom you allow to interact with it and to draw from it. ESPECIALLY if you are a high-vibrational individual!
Uproot the moulds in your soul by burning down the walls and letting in the sunlight. Protect yourselves from new mildew growth, by guarding your energy interactions with people and by choosing the people you let into that circle. Your circle of magic is not comprised by you and other individuals; your circle of magic is the circle that your have drawn around yourself, with your own energies! And you choose whom you let into that circle! And make sure that the voice you hear in your mind is your own; either that, or the voices of Angels.

Sequel to, "the little white book", this "little blue book" carries all of the gold that the first book harbours, and then some!

The first Vade Mecum has been put to good use by loyal supporters and zealous readers, who never let her out of their sight! Carried in handbags and briefcases the world over, she has become exactly what she was created to be!

This little blue book continues with the legacy of the white one, while building upon more evolved subject matter. You will find many morsels of knowledge on the topics of soul alchemy and science, as well as a stronger push in the areas of women's issues and societal transformation.

SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND

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ON GOODREADS

"I am a flawed person. A brook with many stones, a clear blue sky with many blackbirds. I have many shortcomings. A rainbow that’s not long enough, a starry night with clouds. But I can only be thankful to the God who loves me just this way, and I can only be grateful to the people in my life who accept the clear blue sky with many blackbirds and who are patient with the rainbow that isn’t long enough. And because of this, I am taught love, because of this I love my God, and I love these people."— C. JoyBell C.

DISCLAIMER

This blog is not an online diary. Anything reflected through my writings here, do not necessarily mirror my present emotional, mental, or physical state, unless directly stated. Furthermore, any resemblances to you or to anyone you know, is purely coincidental and is not a result of me creating any "blind items" about you or your loved ones and friends. Moreover, your reading of my writings does not constitute a marriage, personal relationship, or personal friendship, between us.