Cafeteria Food Teaches Students Life Not Bowl Of Raisenettes

June 18, 1985|By Steve Weller, Staff writer

LET`S GET ONE thing straight right up front. Chicken croquettes are an endangered species and that bothers me. If that disqualifies me as an authority on nutrition, then pay no attention to the following analysis of the enforced closing of junk food stands in Broward County schools.

The one obvious conclusion in this case is that students who are hysterically trying to decide if they should starve or riot are over-reacting.

Cafeteria food is good for them. It teaches them that life is not a bowl of Raisenettes, that there are few fates worse than okra. It gives them some idea of what mealtime is like in other areas of the world, where millions of people subsist on fish heads and rice and think they`re having a good time.

It gives classroom cut-ups an option. They can either stand there and be caned by the principal or have second helpings at lunch. Most important, it gives them a break in the monotony of the fast food and frozen dinners they find when they get home.

All school cafeterias serve balanced meals. Which means that if there is a serving of beets on one side of the plate, there will be just enough mushy carrots and peas on the other side to keep the tray from tipping.

Food prepared in educational institutions toughens the taste buds. It prepares the diner for a world in which liver is more plentiful than beef Wellington.

Show me a gummy combination of macaroni and anything -- cheap hamburger, cheese, tuna -- and I`ll dig right in and enjoy it. Show me a piece of pie that is 99 percent red glop and 1 percent cherry and I`ll clean the plate.

Show me a menu that includes the aforementioned chicken croquettes and I`ll order them, even though I know they`re made of sawdust and no chicken was ever seen in the same kitchen with them.

You can`t do that kind of thing without intensive early training in a teacher-supervised dining hall. That doesn`t mean daily doses of industrial- strength Sloppy Joes are mandatory. Students should strive for a blend of balanced meals and good stuff.

All I remember about my own school cafeteria was that it served a lot of groceries for a quarter and it was run by somebody crafty enough to have cornered the market on tapioca pudding.

There were no built-in junkfood concessions on campus, a term used loosely to describe our concrete courtyard. If you wanted to ruin your teeth you had to sneak off the concrete and into a near-by arcade, which housed a little sandwich joint and a candy-laden newsstand.

Actually, the sandwich joint was a nutritional treasure chest. The owners served a Brunswick stew that was better than any I`ve eaten since. That I haven`t seen any since doesn`t detract from the arcade stew`s memorable flavor.

When discussing junk snacks everybody who grew up in the South in the 1940s likes to reminisce about Moon Pies and RC Cola. The Moon Pie`s only redeeming feature was its mass.

It was a combination of stale graham cracker, early styrofoam and chocolate- colored parafin. Each bite thunked into the bottom of the stomach like a commemorative silver dollar.

If I needed the appetite-killing effects of a full meal, I ate a Moon Pie. If I wanted something tasty, the choice was an Oh Henry, Milky Way, Walnettos, or the best ice cream bar of all time, the Eskimo Pie.

When it comes to nutrition I consider myself a man for all seasonings. Taco Viva, leg of lamb, Bojangles, broiled snapper, The Colonel, prime rib, Domino`s and poached salmon -- they`re all edible. You don`t get that flexible without doing time in a school cafeteria.