“I met the cutest and nicest guy ever a few months ago! We’ve been dating for a few weeks, and everything is great… except, well… I have a question. He’s not a Christian. He says he’s totally open to God and religion, but he just doesn’t see the need at this point in his life. I’m not sure what to do. I really like him. Please help.” We’ve received many emails and messages like this over the years. Navigating romance and relationships can be a really hard (and sometimes tricky) thing. As Christian women, how do we make decisions that ultimately place God at the center of our romanticFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Are you married? Dating? Do you want to be married? Today I’m sharing my top favorite books for married women and my top favs for single/dating gals. These are the books that have made a huge impact on my own life and in my own marriage. These books helped me to thrive as a single, navigate the months of engagement, and enjoy the early days of marriage. Check out the video to get my full list of recommended books. WATCH VIDEO

Deep down inside I hoped that this was the day. The day I’d been dreaming of for my entire life. The day I never imagined would ever actually become my reality. After a beautiful brunch in Fredericksburg, Texas, my boyfriend whisked me off to a classy vineyard filled with gardens and gorgeous flowers. We walked towards the lake in nervous anticipation. There was a quaint little table waiting just for the two of us. My palms started to sweat and my heart began to race. The next few moments went by in slow motion. Dāv walked me towards a huge oak tree which just so happened to have hisFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Breakups are no fun. They are hard and heartbreaking. Here are a few things that I did during my dating days to help me process and work through my breakups. Strategies to help you work through your break up Give yourself permission to cry and mourn. Soak in the Psalms. Forgive Him, Repent and accept forgiveness from God, and move forward in freedom. Soak in Scripture and Allow God’s Word to Restore Your Heart. Listen to worship music: Vertical Worship has a ton of great worship music. Meet with a godly friend or mentor. Very Practical Things You Can Do: Take a break from social media. AvoidFull Post

A breakup is one of the most painful circumstances many of us experience. It’s something I never wanted to go through and I’m sure you didn’t (or don’t want to go through) either. I don’t know anyone who enters a relationship in hopes that it will end with sadness and a broken heart. I know that I never wanted that. The hope is that the relationship will work out beautifully and the two will live happily ever after. That is often not the case though. Sadly, the majority of us will experience a broken heart at some point in our dating/relationship days. If this is something you, or aFull Post

They turned their heads away in disgust whenever she walked by. They were too repulsed to even look at her. She knew this too. Keeping her head down, she hurried past them. This situation was all too familiar for her. With tears streaming down her face, she walked faster. She just needed to get to the house. After several minutes of making her way through the crowded and narrow streets, she finally saw it. The lights were bright on the inside. The smell of freshly baked bread lingered in the doorway. Pausing to wipe her face, she breathed deeply. She hesitated. Do I dare go inside uninvited…here of allFull Post

If you’re a Christian teen girl, this video was made especially for you! Navigating crushes, romantic attraction, and guy interests can be really complicated and confusing. And to make matters worse, we (as girls) often act in a way that confuses things even more. So what are we supposed to do with these strong feelings? How are we supposed to deal with our crushes? Thankfully, God’s word doesn’t leave us hanging. He has wisdom and counsel for us regarding the romantic areas of our lives. So let’s chat about guys, crushes, and how to navigate these romantic feelings in a God-honoring way. WATCH VIDEO

Let’s have a candid conversation about flirting. I want to share with you a few things that I wish someone would have shared with me back in high school. Looking back, I now realize how selfish and self-promoting my motives were. I wouldn’t have called myself a flirt, but I definitely was. It’s so obvious to me now. Yeah, my mom tried to tell me, but I didn’t really care. I needed an older girl (someone just a few years ahead of me) to look me in the eyes and be honest with me about my actions. That never happened though. It wasn’t until after years of flirting andFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Have you ever thought any of these things: “It seems like I’m the only girl out of all of my friends who doesn’t have a boyfriend and I feel really left out.” “Why does it feel like my ‘relationship status’ on social media is neon light telling the world I’m not wanted?” “Friday nights are really hard…it’s in those moments that I feel desperate for a boyfriend.” Balancing the desire for a boyfriend while also seeking to trust in God’s timing can be really hard. When you look around and see your friends in romantic relationships, it can be tempting to view your single status as aFull Post

Dear Single Sister, as you look around at your friends and see them in relationships, I know it can be hard to stay content. I remember the feelings all too well myself. The loneliness can hit anytime and feel all consuming. Especially on the weekends when everyone seems to be going out with their significant other, except you. In those moments, feelings of anxiousness and fear can creep in and capture your heart. Discontentment floods your perspective and you wonder if you’ll ever be able to find joy in your current stage of life. The temptation to “fix the problem” can be so strong. I remember this too. TheFull Post

WATCH VIDEO I (Bethany) clearly remember assuming that my boyfriend and I were on the same page about our beliefs and convictions. We didn’t take the time to ask the hard of questions and really get to know each other. I made a lot of assumptions. Things didn’t end so well as a result. When Dav and I started our relationship, I didn’t want to make the same mistake. I compiled and created a list of 136 questions to help guide our conversations and make sure we actually talked through as much as possible while dating. This isn’t a magical list. It’s not a “fool-proof” method or anything like that.Full Post

I’d never had a first date quite like this one. Dāv and I weren’t strangers to each other. In fact, we were the opposite. We’d been hanging out in the same friend group for several years. Our group had traveled together, laughed together, cried together, and watched several members of the group get married and start families. Dāv and I were close friends and we were both well aware of the fact that I was taller than him…and older than him. There are some things you just can’t hide in life. Little did I ever expect him to ask me out on a date. To our entire group’s shockFull Post

WATCH VIDEO It’s been a while since Dāv and Bethany have been on YouTube to answer your questions about dating, marriage, sex, age-gaps, the “FIRST” time, and becoming parents. We took to @girldefined Instagram to gather your questions. Here are a few that you all asked. “Were you nervous about the first time?” “What if your child doesn’t believe in God?” “How will you keep your marriage strong?” WATCH VIDEO

You are so ready to be married. Everything seems to be 100% ready to go…minus the guy. If only God would bring him into your life quickly things could finally move along. Yep, that’s where many of us are finding ourselves. BTW – If you missed Part 1 of the series, stop for a quick second and read that first. You have the desire and the want-to, but there are no young men that seem to fit the bill. If only God would hurry up! Doesn’t He know that marriage is a good thing and you’d would be much better off as a married woman rather than as singleFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Singleness. It’s something we all face before getting into a relationship. Some single gals seem to thrive in and through this season. Some single gals don’t. Whether you’re single and struggling, or single and thriving, you’ll find these questions and answers about singleness super relatable. These questions are taken straight from the sisterhood. “How do I not feel left out?” “How do I not envy my friends getting married?” “How do I deal with the unknown?” etc. WATCH VIDEO

It’s always interesting for me to reflect back on my earliest years of being single. The memories of finishing my teen years and entering my early twenties are pretty good ones. Even though I had already experienced serious heartbreak at that point (I went through a difficult breakup at 19), my future still seemed bright and hopeful. I was young, I was excited, and I was ready to explore what God might have for me as a single woman. Life seemed to be serving me what I wanted at this point in time (or at least what I thought I wanted) and I was happy. It wasn’t long afterFull Post

This past year has been filled with excitement at GirlDefined Ministries. The testimonies that we heard were absolutely incredible. The growth many of you made in your relationship with God was amazing. Some of you even accepted Christ as your personal Savior for the very first time. Some of you found freedom from habitual sin. Some of you found the courage to find a mentor and/or mentor a younger woman yourself. The list could go on. God is working mightily amongst the Girl Defined Sisterhood. This past year we launched our brand new book, Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart. We also published 104 new blogFull Post

Tis the season to be jolly, right? But how does that work when all I want for Christmas is you, baby? Christmastime is supposed to be a time of wonder, excitement, love, and joy — but sometimes this holiday season can feel at odds with the season of singleness. I remember this all too well. Although I’m married now, I was unmarried for 24 years and I can clearly remember being single and hearing those sappy, romantic Christmas songs play on the radio. A twinge of loneliness and desire would fill my heart. As hard as it was for me at times, I wouldn’t stay in that place ofFull Post

When “Relationship Goals” first became a thing I thought it was pretty cute. There are images of couples doing really cute, funny things together with the caption “relationship goals”. They are quite popular with everyone it seems. From pictures of couples kissing and holding each other, doing cute poses, to being super awkward and funny together. While the idea is cute and the sentiment is sweet, it’s not what we as godly young girls should be looking to for our advice on how real relationships look. I said that I thought it was cute at first but my mindset quickly changed. First of all, the pictures and ideas thatFull Post

My heart aches as I look at the eyes of one of my best friends. ‘Is she serious?’ I think. ‘Is this really happening to me?’ For a second I convince myself that this is not real. This is just a joke. This will all turn out the way I thought it would. Waking up the next morning, after a night of restless sleep, I had to conclude that this was not the case. To make a long story short: my best friend started dating a guy with whom I was really close friends. When she told me she was dating him, I was hurt and really jealous. IFull Post

WATCH VIDEO The holidays can be the most wonderful time of the year and they can also be the most lonely time of the year. With chick-flicks and romance movies being released in droves, it may feel like everyone is in a relationship except for you. All you want for Christmas is a boyfriend. Is that really too much to ask? The two of us remember those days. We remember the loneliness. The jealousy. The wishing we had that someone special to kiss under the mistletoe. We get it. Yes, your single status may be more apparent during the holidays, but this doesn’t have to be a miserable timeFull Post

“So timely. It makes so much sense. Sometimes I feel like I’m crazy lol…” “…I know and agree with everything that was said, but it was good to hear it from someone else at a time when I really want to be held and loved by a guy. It’s nice to know I’m not alone on this journey…” “SO GOOD!!!! Thank you! I’ve always struggled with having crushes on guys…” These are a few of the comments I received on one of my articles that was recently published (Why You’re Looking for Jesus in Your Boyfriend) This article’s main idea was to point girls to Christ’s perfect love instead of a guy’s imperfect affections. While I do believe that onlyFull Post

I plopped down on my bed, exhausted from the week’s events. I then began trying to unravel my mess. A mess of emotions, thoughts, intentions, words spoken, and implications. As I sat there replaying every word of our conversation, trying to glean any hint of interest or non-interest, I finally broke down. I couldn’t figure it out. No matter how hard I tried, I could not understand what was going on in my heart. I was trying to figure out if I really liked a guy, and if he actually liked me. But the more I psychoanalyzed every aspect of my situation the more helpless and entangled I felt.Full Post

The day went by in a blur. I tried my absolute best to enjoy every moment and soak up the day, but it went by so fast. Everything started and ended in what felt like such a short amount of time (thankfully the wedding was live-streamed so that I can go back and relive the ceremony anytime I want). WATCH LIVE STREAM Looking back at photos from October 14, 2018, I so wish I could go back in time and relive each one of the moments. I loved my wedding day. I loved getting married to David Beal. I loved our ceremony. I loved our first hours together asFull Post

WATCH VIDEO She’s thirty-six, single, and thriving. If you had asked her as a twenty-one-year-old what her future would look like, she would have described a beautiful life filled with children, a godly husband, and Jesus. But that’s not exactly how her story turned out. Despite her future playing out contrary to her dreams, Madga (our amazing Polish friend) has learned how to thrive right where God has her as a single woman. However, this didn’t come without walking through some challenging valleys of surrender and trust. Throughout her personal journey, Magda learned how to fight against the wrong attitudes that didn’t help her to trust God with herFull Post

I’ve had a crush on a guy (I’ll call “Sean”) for over 3 years. It’s bad. What’s worse is that we’ve only spoken one time. He picked up my grapes in the college cafeteria when I dropped them. I thanked him. End of story. Somehow, I still have a hard-core crush on Sean. I stare at him from across the cafeteria at meals. I look up his picture in the college directory when I’m feeling lonely. I imagine us having this amazing relationship that would make you crazy jealous. But it’s all fake. It’s all in my head. Sean probably doesn’t even know my name. To him, I’m probably justFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Lies about guys. Lies about singleness. Lies about dating. We’ve all been there. We’ve all had that moment or season where we’ve looked to something other than God to bring us satisfaction. In the end, it never works. It never satisfies. Instead of staying stuck in the lies, stuck in the trap, and stuck chasing after the wind, we need to get back to truth. Let’s open up God’s Word and combat 5 of the most popular lies that girls believe about singleness and dating. WATCH VIDEO

I think the hardest part of a breakup is the mornings that follow it. The nights are hard too, but the mornings, I think that’s when the pain is the rawest. When you’ve spent the past 6-8 hours (or 5 if you’re anything like me) sleeping in a blissful state of ignorance, and then you wake up and for the first few seconds everything is fine. And then your brain wakes up and reality comes in, and it hits you hard. Another day of trying to make it through. Another day of trying to move on. I’m writing to you because I’m currently going through a breakup. It’s beenFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Most single women will immediately judge a guy based on his outward appearance. Is he cute? Am I attracted to him? Is he hot?! These are often the first questions we ask ourselves. We’re immediately interested in really good looking guys and less interested in guys that don’t fit our “physical criteria.” We’re slow to take interest in an average looking guy, even if he has a great personality and godly character. Yes, being attracted to your future spouse is an important factor, but how important should it be? What’s the balance? Is attraction really as crucial as we make it out to be? What should we, as Christian girls,Full Post

Looking back on the many Valentine’s Days I spent “alone”, there is one specific day that stands out to me more than others. I was single (as I was for much of the first 30 years of my life) and I was headed to the grocery store to pick up my favorite drugstore mascara. I pulled into to the parking lot and headed into the store. Little did I know that I was about to wade through a sea of starry-eyed men who appeared to be floating on clouds of roses and dark chocolate covered strawberries. In days past, this kind of scenario would have been heart-wrenching. I wouldFull Post

If you missed Part One of this post, you’re definitely going to want to click here and read it before reading Part Two. Kari unpacked several lies and truths about what is truly at the heart of a guy obsession. Part Two builds on that foundation, so take a quick moment to read Part One. You won’t regret it! We, as single people, must broaden our view of how God builds his kingdom. I have found that many women (including myself) who overestimate the importance of marriage tend to underestimate the value of competence and hard work. Here’s what I mean. God has uniquely gifted each of us toFull Post

I was once obsessed with a guy. I stalked him on social media. I stalked his family on social media. I purposely went places where I knew I would be around him, and whenever I was around him I made sure I was in his line of sight. The thing was, it seemed to be working! He always made a point to talk to me and was so kind to me. I really thought he was as interested in me as I was in him, only to realize he was being nice to me so he could get close to a friend of mine and ask her out! ThisFull Post

Imagine a love story that’s lasted over fifty years and is still thriving. The couples still loves each other deeply. They still want and desire to be married. They still love holding hands and kissing each other. They consider themselves to be best friends and lovers. Imagine the faithfulness. Imagine the self-sacrifice. Imagine what a beautiful picture of true love a marriage like this would represent. This is what many of us long for. A love that truly lasts. A love that can stand the test of time and the rocky waters of adversity and come out stronger on the other side! A love that defies that odds ofFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Before we got married to our (now) husbands, there were specific character qualities and traits that we each prayed for. We weren’t looking for perfect guys (obviously, because we’re not perfect!), but we were looking for godly men who loved the Lord, cared about people, and knew how to keep the fun in life. In today’s video, we each share 5 different qualities that were important to us (some are spiritual and some aren’t), as well as 3 fun facts about our husbands. If you’re currently unmarried and hope to get married someday, you’ll find this vlog encouraging, helpful, and even a little humorous. WATCH VIDEO

I’m thirty years old and still believe the big fat lie. The lie that keeps single girls discontent and married women unhappy. What is the lie? The big fat lie that I’ve believed throughout my life is this; My sinful heart will change when my circumstances change. When my life’s circumstances look different, then I will magically transform into that epic godly woman I’ve always wanted to be. Somehow Satan has snuck in and dropped a big fat juicy lie directly in many of our laps. We believe the lie that our sin isn’t really the problem. It can’t be! It must be someone or something else causing usFull Post

I went through one of the hardest breakups in my life when I was twenty years old. I was one week away from being engaged when everything suddenly ended. I never saw the ring and my “almost” husband exited my life forever. As difficult as that season was for me, God was graciously sparing me from entering into a marriage that wouldn’t have been good (and a few years later I ended up marrying Zack!). The full story is too long to share right now, but I remember feeling a distinct void in my life right after that heart-wrenching breakup. Instead of turning wholeheartedly to God to fill my void,Full Post

I was one of those “undistracted singles” that was totally distracted by marriage. I spent half of my life totally focused on serving the Lord and the other half totally focused on finding my man. That was me, Bethany Baird, in her late teens and early twenties. Somewhere in-between wanting to make the most of my single years and desiring to live an “undistracted” life for Christ, I got distracted. Really distracted. I so wanted to serve Christ, but I also really wanted to get married. It wasn’t until my mid-to-late twenties that I finally understood and began to truly live out God’s call for my life. You knowFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Guy friendships. They can be so great and so complicated all at the same time. Have you ever had a guy friendship that ended with hurt feelings and a lot of drama? The two of us sure have. If we, as Christian women, aren’t intentional in our friendships with guys, they can often end up somewhere that we really never wanted them to go. In today’s video, we share two strategies that can radically change the way you manage your friendships with guys. WATCH VIDEO

Dāv and I just hit the 8-month mark. That’s an extremely short amount of time in the big scope of things. I get that we’re not going on the big 10, 20 or 30. We haven’t even hit our one year anniversary. Honestly, that’s why we’re writing this blog. Being a newlywed is one-hundred percent fresh on our minds because… well… we’re currently newlyweds. There’s something valuable about us opening up and sharing our experiences while we’re still in this stage. Yes, there is a ton of value from those who have walked the road and can look back and say “here’s what we did right and here’s whatFull Post

WATCH VIDEO You like him and you want a relationship with him. The problem? He isn’t pursuing you. When the two of us were single, we found ourselves in this position time-and-time again. I’m sure you can relate. You notice a guy. You like him. You want to start a relationship. But nothing is happening. It’s pure silence from his end. Should you make the first move? Should you pursue him? Should you ask him out on a date? Should you slide into his DM’s and let him know he’s on your mind? Let’s jump into these questions and see what God’s Word has to say. WATCH VIDEO

When I was a single woman, I remember people telling me things like, “be sure to marry a man of godly character!” Or, “make sure you know his true heart.” Or, “don’t settle for anything but a genuinely Christ-focused man.” Okay… I would think to myself. I appreciate the advice, and I agree. These are all good things that I want in a future husband. But how in the world am I supposed to know what a man of godly character actually looks like (in real life)? How do I discern the difference between a really nice Christian guy and a guy with a genuine Christ-like heart? And in all seriousness,Full Post

WATCH VIDEO Sex. Purity. Virginity. These are some loaded topics that can bring about a ton of different emotions. The two of us had the privilege of sitting down with popular Christian YouTubers, Paul and Morgan, to hear their thoughts on these important topics. Morgan opened up with us and shared her testimony of struggling in an unhealthy relationship, to eventually meeting and marrying Paul. Her story is filled with redemption and hope. WATCH VIDEO

I’ll never forget that moment. The moment my brand new husband and I ran through the aisle of sparklers and hopped into our getaway car. We waved goodbye and headed towards our honeymoon suite. The drive from the venue to our honeymoon suite was filled with excitement, nerves and a sigh of relief. We were married. Husband and wife. We made it! Looking back on those amazing two weeks in the mountains of Colorado, I can’t help but smile. We were newlyweds. Everything was so… new. Every moment and experience was like a great big adventure. Minus a few bumps along the way (canceled flights, lost luggage, unable toFull Post

Don’t think about it. Don’t talk about it. Don’t do it. That is the thought process that many single Christian women have when it comes to the word “sex.” Instead of viewing sex through a healthy biblical perspective, we often view sex in a scary, confusing, distorted, negative, dirty and/or unhelpful way. My prayer is that we can change that thought process. Instead of waiting until you’re dating or engaged (or even married) to gain a helpful biblical perspective, begin that process now. When single women understand a truly biblical perspective of sex, they realize that sex isn’t the end goal. They realize that a deep, intimate, all-knowing relationshipFull Post

She was beautiful. He was handsome. She desired male attention. He wanted some fun. She longed for romance. He wanted adventure. She wanted passion. He wanted pleasure. They meet…go on a date…and it doesn’t take long before their relationship turns intensely sexual. As you read their story, your inner passion and excitement ignite in an explosion of sexual longings deep within your heart. You want what they have. You want a steamy romance. You want a sexual adventure. This is the storyline of thousands of novels that have gained the ever-growing popular title of “erotica.” These novels come in all shades and colors and all have one common intent:Full Post

WATCH VIDEO If a girl is going to be single for her whole life, does that mean she will never have sex at all? This question gets right to the heart of sexual longings and true satisfaction. It’s a question that many of us have probably wondered or asked at some point in our lives. We want to know if the fulfillment of our sexual longings is a “must have” in order to experience true satisfaction. In this video, we answer that question. We dig deep into the fact that we were created by God to find ultimate satisfaction in a deeply personal and vibrant relationship with Him. We also show you threeFull Post

We are so excited to announce that Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart: Discovering the Beauty and Freedom of God-DefinedSexuality officially released today!!! Today is a day of celebration. A day to celebrate all that God has done and is going to do. We are in awe of His incredible grace and mercy in our lives and this book is a testimony of His faithfulness. Our prayer is that this book will show you the beauty and freedom of God-defined sexuality. Get to know, Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart! Check out the official video trailer for the book. Download the first chapter for free. Access the FREE 7 Day Sex, Purity,Full Post

WATCH VIDEO Writing a book on God’s design for sexuality wasn’t exactly a lifelong dream of ours . . . but when we saw the hundreds of emails flooding our inbox from the Girl Defined sisterhood asking tough questions about sexuality, a fire was ignited within our hearts. When our publisher asked us to write a third book, we knew exactly what it needed to be about—sex, purity, and the longings of a girl’s heart. Although this book has been the most challenging and laborious by far, it was well worth it. God’s design for sexuality is powerful, beautiful, and incredibly freeing. As we’ve seen God’s truth transform our own brokenness into beauty for HisFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Looking back on our lives, the two of us can clearly see where we adopted some unhelpful and unbiblical perspectives on purity. If you grew up in a Christian home (or religious home), you can probably relate. Instead of viewing purity as a lifelong pursuit motivated by a desire to honor Christ, many of us view purity as a core part of our identity. We unknowingly categorize people as “the pure ones” or “the impure ones.” However, this mindset couldn’t be further from God’s heart and desire for us. WATCH VIDEO

I was a thirty-year-old virgin on my wedding night. That isn’t a shock to any of you who’ve followed my story. In fact, many of you sent me emails and DM’s before I got married asking me if I was nervous about the wedding night. I responded to your questions through a blog post titled: Am I Nervous About the Wedding Night? Today I want to answer the dozens of e-mails and DM’s I’ve received since getting married. It seems like most of you want to know if being a virgin on my wedding night was awkward. Was I excited or terrified about the wedding night?? I’m going toFull Post

My wedding day was less than three weeks away. I could hardly wait to finally marry the man I had already pledged my life and love to. My longings for marriage, intimacy, and a lifelong companion would finally be realized. As the days drew closer, my love for Zack grew deeper. I longed for the moment when I would truly be his. I longed to share all of me with all of him. I couldn’t wait to finally become one. Whether you’re single or married, you’ve probably felt that same deep desire for companionship, oneness, and intimacy. You’ve probably felt that inner longing to be fully known, cherished, andFull Post

WATCH VIDEO As the culture around us seeks to normalize things like pornography, erotica, and casual sex, you may be feeling immense pressure to conform. In our brand new book, the two of us share honestly about our own struggles and victories and dig into topics such as: A Biblical understanding of your sexuality God’s good design for love, passion, and sex Why your longings for intimacy are a good thing How to conquer lust in your life How to deal with secret sexual struggles Practical help for embracing a life of purity How to find ultimate satisfaction in Jesus and much more. We hope you’ll grab a copyFull Post

He was one of the godliest guys I knew. From similar ministry goals to the same taste in music, we had so much in common. He challenged me to follow Jesus and inspired me with his love for God. It didn’t hurt that he was also very good-looking. I’d had crushes before, usually admiring from a distance or stalking him on social media. But this time, he was the one reaching out to me. Pursuing me. Or so it seemed. We lived in different states, so most of our communication was through email. Every time his name popped up on my phone screen, I couldn’t help the ear-to-ear grin spreadingFull Post

Extended years of singleness seems to be a growing trend in our culture. Due to a variety of reasons, most young men and women aren’t getting married as soon as they’d like to. As a woman who didn’t get married until thirty-years-old, I can relate to the struggles, sorrows, and difficulties that accompany those extra unwanted single years. Although I didn’t live those single years out perfectly, I learned a few things that were extremely beneficial to me during that time. Whether you are single or married these tips will encourage you (or help you to encourage the singles you know) to live with intention and purpose during thisFull Post

Love. Sex. These are major buzzwords right now. Although they’re wonderful and beautiful words, they don’t always mean the same thing to each person. In fact, each person seems to have their own version of what love actually means. When it comes to romantic relationships, this is especially true. As Christian women, our understanding of love and sexual intimacy will either push us towards Christ-centered holiness or toward self-centered gratification. It will make or break our relationships. It will either strengthen or destroy our future marriages. If we’re not intentional to define love and sex according to God’s Word, we will embrace whatever version fits the occasion. In ourFull Post

WATCH VLOG Valentine’s Day can be one of the happiest days for some girls and one of the hardest days for other girls. If you’re a single gal yourself, you know exactly what we’re talking about. You can relate to the feelings of loneliness and the desire to have your own someone special on Valentine’s Day. Our younger sister, Ellissa, get’s exactly what you’re going through too. As a 26-year-old single gal herself, she can relate to the feelings of loneliness and longings. However, Ellissa isn’t here to talk about how miserable Valentine’s Day will be this year. She’s here to share with us how she is embracing her singleness and howFull Post

Instead of just telling you about my love story with Dāv, I want to take you inside my journal and inside Dāv’s journal. Over the past few years, the two of us have been recording our thoughts, hopes, prayers, and desires for life. We’ve poured out our heart’s to God and surrendered our desires to Him. Little did either of us know that God was weaving our lives together. He was drawing our hearts towards one another in the most unexpected way. This blog post is filled with the journal entries that Dāv and I read to each other, and to our friends, on Oct. 14th, 2018 (our weddingFull Post

WATCH VIDEO You want to get married, but there are no signs of matrimony anywhere on the horizon. You’re sad. You’re discouraged. You’re lonely. If you find yourself single and struggling, this video is for you. We unpack three lies that single women often believe and combat them with the truth to set you free. You don’t have to continue on in struggle and heartache. By God’s grace, you can learn to truly thrive as a single woman. WATCH VIDEO

WATCH VIDEO I (Bethany) got married 3 months ago. Finding a fashionable and modest wedding dress was a high priority for me. However, glorifying God in every aspect of my wedding ceremony was also an important focus for Dave and me. I wanted to LOVE my dress, but I didn’t want to compromise my convictions in the process. After a quick trip to Houston, I ended up finding a dress that I LOVED in every way!! As you think about getting married someday, watch this video to gain a bigger picture for your wedding day…including everything down to the dress. “What we are aiming for in the worship service of a weddingFull Post

This past year has been one of the most exciting years the two of us have ever experienced at Girl Defined. The testimonies that we heard in person, online, and through email were absolutely incredible. Some of you grew in your relationship with Christ. Some of you accepted Christ as your personal Savior for the very first time. Some of you found freedom from habitual sin. Some of you found the courage to pour into other young women. The list could go on. God is working mightily amongst the Girl Defined Sisterhood and we are thrilled to be a part of that work. This past year we launched ourFull Post

A new year means a new start! This is a great time to write down goals, create a new reading list, and just get a little more intentional about life. To help you do that, we want to introduce you to our free video studies. These free videos were created to go along with each of our books, Girl Defined and Love Defined, and provide structure and teaching for each book. The Girl Defined book video study is 8 weeks long and helps to break down the book into easy, bite-size reading portions. The Love Defined book study is 6 weeks long and will walk you through the entireFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Ever since Bethany got married, many of you have been asking how Ellissa is doing with the transition. In a nutshell, she’s doing great! As a 26-year-old single woman, she’s seeking to trust God and serve Him faithfully during this season of her life. However, we thought you’d rather hear it from her! So…for today’s video, we brought Ellissa onto the set and asked her some questions about singleness, contentment, purpose, as well as her passion for orphans and missions. Click the link below to be encouraged and inspired by her honest answers and wise insights. WATCH VIDEO

I was her. I was the teen girl reading Christian books on modesty, purity, and relationships. I often read my favorite books over and over again. I loved learning and I loved striving to understand God’s design for my life as a Christian girl. I wore the purity ring. I read I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I saved sex for marriage. Etc. etc. etc. I was that girl. Fast forward to our modern day and I guess some would consider me a direct product of the “purity movement.” As a product of that generation, many often wonder how it’s impacted me and how it’s impacted my brand new marriage. ToFull Post

WATCH VIDEO We asked and you answered. You submitted your most pressing questions through the Girl Defined Instagram page. We took the top six questions asked and turned them into a Q & A video. We answer questions like… Thoughts on the use of birth control and contraception in marriage? Can you actively “look” for a boyfriend while waiting/trusting that God has it? What’s the balance? Long distance relationship-sticking to boundaries when you are together? What to do when I get a comment from someone like, “you’re still single?” How do I respond and deal with that? How do you navigate being just friends with a guy when heFull Post

I was talking to a friend recently who is single, in her mid-twenties, and regularly wondering if God has marriage in store for her future. As we chatted, she shared her struggles honestly from her heart. “It’s just so hard to keep my hope set on the Lord when I desire marriage so much. I just wish God would tell me if I’m ever going to get married or not. The unknown is so hard to endure!” As we talked, her honesty and openness reminded me of how I often felt during my single years as well. I desperately desired marriage. I wondered if my longings would ever beFull Post

WATCH VIDEO I (Bethany) recently got married. This is my first vlog recording since becoming Mrs. Beal. My life has changed a lot over the past year, but it changed the MOST on Oct. 14th around 4:30pm in the afternoon. You can actually watch the wedding ceremony here. During this video, Kristen asks me questions about my wedding, honeymoon, and marriage. WATCH VIDEO

WATCH VIDEO You like him and he likes you…but how do you know if he’s the “the one?” Instead of relying solely on emotions and feelings to figure out the answer to this important question, Zack and Kristen share with you a simple, yet wisdom-based approach for navigating this question. Using their own love story as the backdrop, they’ll show you how “discerning the one” isn’t as mysterious and confusing as we often make it out to be. “Finding the one isn’t a mysterious search; it’s a practical and exciting adventure built on wisdom, prayer, counsel, commitment, and sacrificial love.” #LoveDefinedBook WATCH VIDEO

WATCH VLOG Although marriage is wonderful and exciting, it can’t ultimately satisfy us. God never intended marriage (or any human being) to satisfy another. True satisfaction can only be found in Christ. “We were designed for more than the trivial pursuit of pleasure. The hard truth is that we will never find relief if we continue to seek it through possessions or through people. Seeking satisfaction in the things of this world is like chasing the wind. Once you’re finally exhausted and weary from your pursuit, you’re left empty-handed and disappointed. You’ve wasted valuable time chasing nothing when you could have been pursuing true joy and peace.” -Desiring GodFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Waiting until marriage to kiss isn’t something you’ll hear much about from pop culture. Although saving sex, kissing, or any other intimate act for marriage is a rarity, it can be done! In this video, both of us (Kristen and Bethany) share our personal journies of when and where the idea of waiting to kiss until marriage came into existence. We also answer candid questions like… “Was it worth it?” “Would you do the same thing over again?” “Will I ever find a guy if I have such high standards?” WATCH VIDEO

I have a beautiful hand-painted picture of a mountainous scene hanging in my house. Every time I look at this picture, I long for the fresh mountain air of Colorado (my second favorite state after Texas). This beautiful picture is a magnificent representation of the mountains I love. It reflects a beautiful scene. However, as much as I love this picture, it’s only a representation of the real thing. God created marriage to work exactly the same way. Marriage, as lovely as it is, is only a picture of something greater. It’s an earthly representation of something much grander. God placed the institution of marriage on the wall ofFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Life is about to change in a huge way for me (Bethany). With marriage literally days away, I want to share my thoughts on what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling about marriage, sex, and my new life as a wife. I’ll be answering questions like… Why are you and Dāv saving sex for marriage? Are you nervous about the wedding night? How important is your new role as a wife? How have you practically been preparing for marriage? Do you have any favorite books or resources that have helped you prepare for this time? And so much more… WATCH VIDEO

I’m getting married in less than one week. For years, I wondered if this day would actually come. Marriage has always been something I strongly desired…but I also knew it wasn’t something God owed me or something He promised to me. So, for the past 30 years, I have been holding my dreams, desires, and longings for marriage in one hand, and my trust, hope, and contentment in God in the other hand. Little did I know what God had brewing all along. In less than 7 days, I’ll walk down the aisle to a godly and faithful man named David Beal. Without even knowing it, this is the manFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Being intentional during a romantic relationship is important. Out of a desire to honor God and the other person, the relationship should be pursued in a purposeful way. In this video, we share 4 specific ways to pursue intentionality in romance. WATCH VIDEO

I’m a 30-year-old virgin who’s getting married in less than a month. It makes sense why so many of you keep asking me if I’m nervous about the wedding night. Honestly, this is a pretty personal question. You are asking me if I’m nervous about having sex with my brand new husband for the very first time. Although it’s personal, I want to answer it. I want you to know what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling. Here goes. I’m freaking out and totally excited!!! I am about to enter into a covenant and commit to be the wife of my lover and bestest friend in the world. IFull Post

Today I get to introduce to you a 35-year-old love story. This couple is very special to me because they happen to be my parents. I am so excited to introduce to you to Mike (my dad) and Heidi (my mom). With over 35 years of marriage experience, this amazing couple has been an example of love, faithfulness, and commitment. In a generation that is clueless on how to attain lasting relationships, I can’t wait for you to hear from a couple with a proven resume. Instead of listening to Hollywoods cheap advice, I’m offering you a front-row seat into a couple who’s stood the test of time. GiveFull Post

WATCH VLOG Year after year goes by and you wonder if anyone will ever ask you out on a date. Whether you’re in your teens, twenties, thirties, or even forties, it can be really hard if you’ve never been asked out or even pursued by a guy. What not to do? Don’t believe the lie that you are less than. Don’t find your identity in having a guy or not having a guy. Don’t chase down guys out of desperation Don’t settle because you just want a guy. What to do? Trust that God is good and sovereign (Prov 3:5-6). Thrive in your singleness by living for God GetFull Post

I stared at his tanned arms, his charming smile, and his slicked-back hair as he stood in the college cafeteria line. The moment I heard his contagious laugh, I got goosebumps. I couldn’t help but sigh as he walked past me. “There he goes,” I thought dejectedly. “He’s probably never going to notice me.” Though it hurt to be neglected by the young man, I honestly wouldn’t consider entering a relationship with him, even if he was interested in me. Though he was very handsome, smart, and popular (for good reason), he didn’t have the qualities I was looking for in a future spouse. Sure, he was kind and courteous;Full Post

I sat on the sand in a knee-to-knee circle with my three closest girlfriends. As southern California locals, every summer Friday found us at the beach with a group of families. Beach days were the best…cool ocean, sizzling sun, sand talks, and snacks in abundance. “We need to talk about something. I think we chat about guys too much.” My friend Grace was the quieter one in our circle, so she caught our immediate attention with her blunt statement. Like typical teenage girls, we loved to chat about our friends. Especially our guy friends. Even though we were Christian girls who had chosen to intentionally not date in highFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Wedding season is officially upon us! It seems like everyone is falling in love and getting married. You may feel like, “I’m the only one not getting married right now.” With the abundance of romance buzzing around, you may be tempted to question your worth and identity as a woman. You may even begin to feel “less than” because you don’t have a boyfriend. This is a reality for SO many young women. According to a recent survey, “70 percent of the girls said they would feel better about themselves if they had a boyfriend/attention from a boy.” We often feel like having a boyfriend is a MUST. But that isFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Most of us want vibrant marriages that last. We want faithful spouses and committed marriages, but something isn’t working. Relationships aren’t lasting. Many marriages aren’t thriving. When it comes to our love lives, many of us are taking our cues from Hollywood. We are building our relationships upon a foundation that is destined to crumble. If you want something more Christ-centered, check out today’s video. WATCH VIDEO

His blue eyes and curly brown hair were enough to make me swoon. I loved hanging out at the basketball gym. I loved watching my crush play. In my eyes, this guy was drop dead hotness. I loved everything about him. His hair, his snapback, his eyes, his skills, and the way he wore baggy athletic shorts and a sweaty t-shirt. He was perfect in my eyes. Oh, and did I mention that the two of us had never actually spoken? Yep! That’s right. I was in love (or in like and totally infatuated) with a guy I had never even spoken to. I didn’t know the first thingFull Post

“Hey babe, remember that one time…?” Conversations often start like this in our home. Richard and I frequently reminisce, swapping specific moments of our romance with full hearts. Who doesn’t love romance?! When romantic moments are based on God’s design for love and marriage, few things are as exciting or precious to experience. After all, God created the whole concept of boy meets girl! I’m sure He sat back smiling with delight as Adam and Eve grew to know and cherish one another (Genesis 2:20-25). So how can we, as modern women, enjoy romance in a God-honoring way? Here are a few things that Richard and I incorporatedFull Post

Another Friday night. Another Friday night alone. Another Friday night single. Those words echo endlessly in my head, keeping perfect time with my beating heart. I know if I want to silence them, there’s only one way. I climb into my bed, grab my Bible off my nightstand, and open it. Instantly, I feel God’s peace surround me as I begin turning the pages. Lonely Friday nights can be painfully tough if you’re a single female. At 33, I’ve never had a boyfriend, I’ve only been on a handful of dates (probably less than 10), and I never expected my life to look like this. I expected that at 33Full Post

“I just don’t know what to do!” she said to me, with a discouraged look on her face. “One of my friends is sending nude pictures to her boyfriend and I feel like I should say something to her. I don’t think it’s a good idea…but I’m just not sure what to say!” This is a real conversation I had with a teen girl after a Girl Defined church event. She was totally discouraged about her friend’s sexting habits but had no idea what to say to her friend. As much as I’d like to hide under a bushel and believe that sexting and nude-photo-sharing is rare, it’s not.Full Post

WATCH VIDEO When it comes to relationships, every single one of them will face struggles and differences…what we’re talking about here are bigger things that should cause you to stop and get advice. Keep in mind that red flags will vary in severity. Not every red flag is an automatic deal breaker. Each flag needs to be taken into thoughtful consideration within the context of the individual relationship. 6 Red Flags to Look For in a Romantic Relationship He has a shallow relationship with God. He pulls you down spiritually. He’s stuck in sinful addiction. He pressures you to compromise sexually. Wise people in your life don’t support theFull Post

WATCH VIDEO He’s stunningly handsome. She’s drop-dead gorgeous. He’s rich. She’s sexy. He desperately wants a woman in his life. She’s longing for some strong male attention. They meet. They fall in love. It’s not long before their steamy romance turns intensely sexual. Their fantasy seems too good to be true. What is portrayed as the perfect love story and sexual relationship entrances modern women with every page they turn. This is erotica. As it stands, “erotica is the fastest-selling genre of books selling to women.” This genre of literature is created for one purpose and one purpose only — to stimulate and arouse sexual desire within you.Full Post

I can’t even begin to count how many of you have asked me for this list of questions. Ever since I announced that Dav (my fiance) and I worked through this list of questions during our dating relationship, hundreds of you have asked me for this list. If you’re in a relationship, I would encourage you to use this list as a resource to help you get to know your boyfriend/fiance better. If you want to be in a relationship, I encourage you to use this list as a tool to help you think through each one of the answers. This is a long list, but it does notFull Post

WATCH VLOG You have questions. She has answers. Bethany has been engaged to her best friend, David, for about two and half weeks and she is busy getting ready for married life. Because of Bethany’s long-standing reputation as a single (twenty-nine years strong), many of you are wondering what it’s like for her to finally be engaged. Is she excited about the wedding? Is she nervous? What has she been learning? How did she know that David was the one? In a candid conversation, Bethany’s answers all of those questions and more. WATCH VLOG

Since the day I got engaged to my Fiance David, I’ve been asked a similar question over and over again. Messages from single women on Instagram, Facebook, and email all want to know the same thing. Now that I’m engaged, what is the one thing I want single women to know? Now that I’ve passed my full on single days, I guess many of you are curious what I have to say looking back on that season. It’s an interesting thought and a great question. I’ve been thinking quite about it a bit over the past few days. To be honest, my single years (in my late twenties) wereFull Post

With a pen and paper in hand, Zack and I sat down to write out a list of physical boundaries we wouldn’t cross. Our relationship had recently shifted from being “just friends” to officially dating. With a desire to pursue sexual purity, we both thought it would be helpful to write down some specific physical boundaries. After several hours of talking about various scenarios and specific situations, we finalized our list. With a premature sense of accomplishment, we each pinned the list in our rooms and smiled at our apparent wisdom and godliness. However, as good as our lists may have seemed, we quickly realized how easy it wasFull Post

I clearly remember the first time I thought I was falling in love. The feelings were so strong. Glancing across the basketball gym, my eyes locked onto a tall athletic dreamboat. He was so cute. My heart picked up the pace and my hands got sweaty. He glanced my way and our eyes met. The butterflies in my stomach went wild. Surely this was love at first sight! We were destined to be together. I could just feel it. He was my soulmate! All I needed to do now was figure out his name. Thinking back on my first “cupid-struck” moment makes me laugh. I was twelve-years-old and lovestruckFull Post

I was sixteen years old and hanging out with some of my best girl-friends. The four of us were full of ideas about our futures. We had big plans. Especially when it came to our future relationships. The four of us were sure that marriage would be apart of our lives. I clearly remember sitting at a little cafe with my besties and taking “votes” on which one of us would get married first. It wasn’t a matter of “would we get married” it was simply a matter of “when.” Little did I know that my “when” wouldn’t happen for over 14 years from that moment. Never in aFull Post

WATCH VIDEO As you look around at young married couples today, have you ever wondered, “how did they meet?” Or, “how did they know they wanted to get married?” Or, “what did their relationship process actually look like?” If you’ve ever wondered any of those questions, you’re in for a treat today! We’re chatting with Max and Bri, a young married couple, and they’re sharing with us snippets from their dating relationship and how they went from singleness to marriage. From the beginning, their goal was to honor God throughout the relationship process and go about things in an intentional way. If you desire to build a Christ-centered relationshipFull Post

Today marks seven months since my boyfriend and I went out on our first day. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. The warm weather, the butterflies in my stomach, the nervous anticipation, the cute restaurant, and the amazing conversations. David and I have had some amazing conversations since that first date. Surprisingly enough, living together has never been one of them. We’ve never discussed it. It’s just one of those things that neither of us would even consider as a good option for our relationship. Trust me, it’s not because of a lack of feelings or lack of excitement. The two of us are crazy aboutFull Post

If you’ve read anything about my love story with Zack, you know that there was quite a bit of time between when we met and when we actually got into a relationship. This was an extremely hard time for me. For three long years, I wondered if anything would ever happen between us. We were slowly growing in our friendship during this time, but Zack wasn’t making any moves. I could tell he was interested, but for some reason unbeknownst to me, he didn’t initiate a romantic relationship (more on that here). This is where things got tricky for me. Being a go-getter kind of girl, I desperately wantedFull Post

WATCH VIDEO A few days ago we asked you to send us some of your best questions about love, romance, guys, relationships and marriage. After looking through all of them, we hand picked 4 questions to answer in today’s video. How can I start preparing for marriage now, during my younger single years? What would you say is the most unexpected thing about being in a relationship? How do I keep my focus on God when all I really want is a boyfriend? Is it wrong to date a guy who is younger than you? Navigating the areas of love and romance can be complicated and confusing at times.Full Post

I’ll admit it…the first thing that caught my eye about Zack wasn’t his godly character. It was his tan skin and muscles. He was just so stinkin’ cute (and still is). My stomach got butterflies. My hands got sweaty. My mind started dreaming. So let me ask you this: Was I experiencing true love at first sight? Did cupid hit me with one of his arrows? Was I “in love?” Well…not exactly. My feelings for Zack were very real, but they weren’t necessarily signs of true love. What I was experiencing at that moment was a physical and sexual attraction to Zack. That attraction could lead me towards trueFull Post

He was cute. She was pretty. He was confident. She was as sweet as apple pie. He was strong. She was beautiful. Jeremy and Katie are one very attractive couple. Not only are they attractive, but they are really godly too! They are both extremely involved in their church, missions, and love their families very well. They are just an all-around solid godly couple. Rewind a few years and these two amazing individuals didn’t know the other existed. How did they meet? Online of course. Online dating. What used to be somewhat of a sketchy, unreliable, embarrassing tool for meeting other singles, has now become an industry standard. Online dating isFull Post

WATCH VIDEO As we look around, we don’t see very many lasting and vibrant marriages. Sadly, many marriages aren’t even making it past the 5-year mark. Even in the midst of such relational devastation, the two of us believe that lasting love is possible. In fact, we interviewed four different women who’ve been married for 30, 40, and 50 plus years. We asked them to share some of their advice with the rest of us. Here is a snippet of what they shared in our new book, Love Defined. You can read everything they had to say in chapter 17 of, Love Defined. Advice from the married women: Yvonne Welch (married sinceFull Post

I’m twenty-nine years old and I’ve never had sex. It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s just because I’ve chosen to wait until I’m married to have sex. Throughout my many years of being single and not having sex, I’ve had a lot of questions. I’ve wondered about many aspects of my purity and my sexuality. I’m sure you can relate on so many levels. I don’t care if you’ve had sex, never had sex, or feel totally awkward talking about, we all have questions. We all wonder about our sexuality. Thinking about my own life, I wondered questions like: Do I become more of aFull Post

“With the sun setting over the beautiful Texas hill country, Zack got down on one knee and asked me to become his wife. As a gorgeous diamond ring sparkled in front of me, I looked into his brown eyes and couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. With tears of joy streaming down my face, I emphatically said, “Yes!” After a big hug, Zack put the ring on my finger and we just stood there soaking in this incredible moment. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Zack Clark was the man I wanted to marry. He was the man I had been praying for sinceFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Looking back over the past six months of my (Bethany’s) relationship, the area of physical boundaries has been a huge topic of conversation. Figuring out what my boyfriend and I will do, and what we will not do, has been a process. I totally get it. It’s hard and confusing. To help you begin thinking through the area of physical boundaries, the two of us took the best of the best from our brand new book, Love Defined. In today’s vlog, we share two very specific points with you on the topic of boundaries pulled straight from the book. If you’re currently in a romantic relationship, or you’d likeFull Post

It was a warm Texas afternoon in May of 2006 when I laid eyes on Zack Clark for the very first time. I still remember the exact moment I noticed him. I was attending a Christian conference with my family and He was sitting several rows in front of us. I’ll be honest, his strong and tall physique, sandy blonde hair, and tan skin were the first things that caught my eye. But after meeting him the next day, I could tell there was something special about this guy. As I watched him interact with the people around us, he seemed very genuine, kind, and a natural leader. IFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Check out Part 1 if you missed it! God created Love and Romance. God invented Marriage. He is the Creator, therefore He knows best. Instead of looking to Hollywood for answers about true love, we need to look to the author of love Himself. Jesus put His love on display through His sacrificial actions. True love is an action, not an emotional feeling. “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8) The two of us are so passionate about true love. Not the cheap imitation we often see on the silver screen. We mean true, Christ-centered, sacrificial love.Full Post

WATCH VLOG When the two of us were in our late teens, we honestly believed relationships would just work themselves out. Deep down we believed the lie that good looks, big muscles, strong chemistry and serious infatuation would last forever. We quickly learned that this naive perspective was FAR from reality. We call this false view of love and romance, The Fairytale Facade. “The Fairy Tale Facade promotes the idea that we can completely ignore God’s design for love, sex, and romance, and still have lasting, satisfying results. It’s the idea that Hollywood can define love according to its own terms and still create happily ever afters. It’s the falseFull Post

WATCH VIDEO When Zack and I got married, we thought it was going to be a piece of cake. We’d read a bunch of marriage books, sought counsel, and learned from our parents’ godly examples. We thought we were set! But shortly into our first year, our eyes were opened to just how much more we needed to work on. We weren’t as ready as we thought. We both quickly learned that sin and selfishness don’t just go away on the other side of the altar — they’re magnified. Looking back over these past seven years of marriage, we can now see the many things we didn’t fully understandFull Post

I was young. I was in love. Life was looking pretty good. As a naive twenty-something Christian girl, I had my entire future planned out. I would get married within the year and leave the worries of the single life behind me. Little did I know, everything was about to change. Less than twenty-four hours had passed and my entire life was turned upside down. I went from a girl in a relationship to a girl out of a relationship. Totally heartbroken by my new status as a single, I needed help and I needed it quick. Through blurry tear-filled-eyes, I scanned the books on my bookshelf. I’d collected quiteFull Post

In part 1 of this post, I shared my initial negative reaction to the word submission when I got married. It wasn’t until I understood God’s bigger purpose for marriage and His intent for husbands and wives that things made sense to me. I shared how I didn’t have to change my personality or leave my brain at the door to be a biblical wife. If you missed part 1, take a minute to quickly read it HERE (you’ll want to!), then come back and dive into part 2 with me. Let’s unpack the true meaning of Biblical submission. This is not an exhaustive definition because I can’t coverFull Post

I looked into his handsome brown eyes and repeated two little words that would change my life forever. “I do.” From that moment on, I officially became Mrs. Zachary Clark. Not only did I walk away with a new name that day, but I also walked away with a new title and role. I was now a wife. As someone who grew up in the church, I was familiar with Biblical phrases like “the husband’s role” or “the wife’s role,” so these weren’t new concepts to me. My parents modeled a healthy and beautiful marriage my entire life, so I never had a problem with these biblical “titles.” However,Full Post

I still remember my very first crush. I was probably ten years old (at the most). I would get butterflies every time “he” walked by. That crush lasted for several months, and then our schedules changed and I didn’t see him anymore. I decided to move on to a new cute boy. Then there was my first teenage crush. I was 14 years old and fell head-over-heels for a cute basketball stud. That crush lasted for a long time. In fact, throughout most of my high school years he was kind of my “background” crush. I always had my eye on him. Nothing ever happened between us though (regardlessFull Post

I was 13 years old when my dad gave me my purity ring. He took me to the jewelry store, showed me the rings, and let me pick one out. I chose a silver ring, with swirly shapes, surrounding a purple gem. It was the perfect ring in my little girl eyes. Later that day, my dad asked me what commitments I wanted my purity ring to represent. I shared with him a few specifics. He continued explaining to me that my ring was only an outward symbol of my inward commitment towards purity. It was very clear that my purity ring didn’t make me pure. The ring didn’tFull Post

I spotted my target. He was tall, lanky, and had a head full of bushy brown hair. I convinced my sixteen-year-old self that he was drop-dead gorgeous (in a manly sort of way, of course). There was a major problem, though. My best friend thought he was gorgeous, too. Uh-oh. Girl fight! Besties crushing on the same guy is never a good thing. After talking about our crush, my friend and I decided to have a competition. Neither of us had actually met this guy—we’d only stared and admired—and we wanted to change that. We decided that whoever had the most guts to meet him and get to knowFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or married, we have something extra special for you on today’s vlog. For the first time ever, Zack Clark (Kristen’s husband) and David Beal (Bethany’s boyfriend) have joined us on the set to share insights and advice on dating and marriage! If you’ve had questions about the dating process and how to go about it in an intentional way, Bethany and David share a peek into their relationship and what they’re currently doing to get to know one another. And for all of you married gals out there (and those of you who want to get married), Kristen and Zack share a fewFull Post

It happened again. I sighed and stared down at the little heart displaying a new relationship status on Facebook. Yep, another girl down. One after the other, the girls my sister and I grew up with were dating and getting married, while we watched— still single, and not a Christian young man in sight. First, one “in a relationship” status popped up on Facebook. Then another. An engagement announcement, another relationship update, a wedding, more engagement pictures. The jewelry stores were surely running out of rings by now, right? My sister and I felt like the last single girls standing. With everyone else pairing up two by two, likeFull Post

Someone wrote an email to me recently and said, “The fact is, giving an abstinence-only sex education is not going to make things any safer. I believe there’s no harm in educating teenagers about safe sex.” This type of thinking is really popular today. There’s a huge push in our culture to indoctrinate teens with a “safer sex” education program. If you attend public school or watch any TV, you’ve probably been exposed to it. It goes something like this: “Teens are going to do it anyway, so we might as well teach them how to do it responsibly.” The mindset of our culture is that teens are soFull Post

She had the reputation of a harlot and a track record to back it up. If God was going to use a woman to impact history in amazing ways, he shouldn’t have used this woman. Why would God use her, a harlot, when there were so many other well-put-together women around? We don’t know all of the details of this woman’s story, but we do know this. Rahab, the prostitute, was the mother of Boaz (Ruth’s husband) and the great-grandmother of David (a man after God’s own heart). In fact, Rahab was honored to be one of the few women in the lineage of Jesus. Rahab the harlot, theFull Post

WATCH VIDEO When the two of us first started thinking about the topic of dating/courtship, we had a lot of questions. How is old enough? What is the purpose of a relationship? What’s a good way to go about dating? How can we be intentional? etc. Instead of trying to figure it all out on our own, we invited our parent’s wise counsel into this area of our lives. We wanted to know what they thought and why they thought it. We didn’t claim to have all the answers and we knew they could help us. After many late night discussions, the two of us came to some conclusions.Full Post

The moment I announced my relationship with David the questions started flooding my inbox. Specifically questions about our physical boundaries. Will we hold hands? Do use a chaperone? Do we hug? Do we do stuff alone? What about being alone at night? In a house? Etc etc. I totally get it. I would be asking the exact same questions. In fact, I’ve asked other newly dating or courting couples those very same questions. I want to know what a healthy, God-honoring, Christ-centered relationship is supposed to look like. I want to know if there is a correct way to go about physical boundaries. Although the Bible does not giveFull Post

When I was a single girl, I regularly had questions about guys rolling around in my head. From what I’ve seen, this is pretty normal for any single girl. I know many of you have guy questions too because you ask them through your comments, emails, and social media messages. So, these types of questions are so popular, I’ve decided to dedicate this post to your guy questions. I’ve hand-picked 4 of the most common questions I hear from you and have attempted to answer them in a nutshell. Ready? Here we go! Question 1: What is a good age to start dating? As many of you know, IFull Post

When I committed to this whole “saving my first kiss for marriage,” I never imagined I’d have to wait 29+ years. I imagined I would be married by twenty-one or twenty-two years old (okay, twenty-three at the latest). Trust me when I say that I never imagined I would be twenty-nine and never been kissed. That just wasn’t a part of my plan. My plans as a teen girl looked much different than what has become my actual reality. Even though I’m twenty-nine years old and remain a virgin, I’m so grateful to God for giving me the strength to hold to my commitments. In a world that tosses sexFull Post

WATCH VIDEO It’s that time of year again. The radio is playing love songs. The movies portray nothing but perfect romance stories. And all of your friends seem to be “falling in love.” Christmas can be hard when it feels like cupid’s arrows are hitting everyone but you. Hot chocolate, Christmas carols, and warm fires just seem to pale in comparison to true love. And then that song comes on and taunts you with its words… “all I want for Christmas is you.“ If this December finds you thinking thoughts like, “all I want for Christmas is a boyfriend!” then today’s video was made just for you. Instead of strugglingFull Post

For the past few years, we’ve received many emails asking for help in the area of romantic relationships. How can I really know if he’s a solid guy? What if He’s not a Christian? How I do I know what to ask him? What topics are important to discuss? What are red flags? Am I ready for this? What if my parents don’t like him? Those questions (and questions like them) prompted me to write the blog post, 50 Questions to Ask Before Falling In Love. The comments that came from that blog post were encouraging. “Excellent!!! I have been looking for something like this.” “Thank you, Kristen andFull Post

I’m in my early twenties with many friends in serious relationships, getting engaged and getting married. I’ve been to 5 weddings in the last 2 years. In that space of time, I’ve been on a small handful of dates and tried to test the waters with a few guys. I may have lain in bed imagining our lives together after the night we met. I may have placed them on a pedestal, creating high expectations that they could never fill. I may even have been so desperate to persuade myself to try even though I felt no connection to them whatsoever. In that space of time, I met aFull Post

WATCH VIDEO If you’ve ever thought about using online dating, this vlog will help you to weigh the pros and cons before getting online. Possible Pros of Online Dating: 1. It can help differentiate the intentional from the non-intentional. 2. It expands your pool of fish. 3. Personality, religion, and preference matches. 4. You can make your marriage interest known. Possible Cons of Online Dating: 1. Dangers of the unknown. 2. Time consuming. 3. Isolates the relationship. 4. Possible lack of trust in God. 5. Rushing through the single years. WATCH VIDEO

I looked at the caller ID on my pink razor flip phone and immediately got sweaty palms. I was 16 years old and was committed to only pursuing a relationship when I was ready or able to consider the possibility of marriage. As a 16-year-old girl, I knew I wasn’t ready. And I knew the guy calling on the other line wasn’t ready either. With feelings of hesitation, I answered his call. “Hello, this is Bethany” “Hey, Bethany!! How ya doing today?” The conversation continued and the expected happened. Jeremy expressed his interest and asked me if I would consider starting a relationship with him. I didn’t want toFull Post

Watch Vlog So how should we, as Christian girls, handle tough breakups? How do we survive the pain and loss of losing a relationship? We want to take you inside our breakups and show you what we did to survive the pain. 1. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. 2. Put your hope in God. 3. Surround yourself with godly wisdom. 4. Fill your mind with truth. 5. Keep busy by serving. “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him” Jeremiah 17:7 “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him” Psalm 62:5 Watch Vlog

WATCH VLOG Unwanted and extended years of singleness are an ever-growing reality amongst many of our lives. Dealing with an unexpected season of singleness can be a source of great struggle, frustration, and loneliness for those of us who have found ourselves in this position. In today’s vlog, Bethany opens up and shares how she’s found hope as an unmarried woman herself. She shares her favorite verses, quotes, and truths that have helped her have true hope throughout these unexpected years of singleness. True hope can be your reality too. The two of us encourage you to meditate on Proverbs 3:5-6 and to make the prayer by Betty ScottFull Post

You like him. He likes you. The chemistry is jiving. Now what? Where do you go from there? Working through the nitty gritty of a relationship can be exciting and totally confusing at the same time. Figuring out if this guy is someone you want to spend your life with can be really *really* hard. I’ve been in my fair share of relationships and I understand the confusion and difficulties of the process. Trying to figure out if he’s an option worth getting to know can be a challenge, to say the least. Throughout the years of doing this relationship thing, I’ve consistently fallen back on this oneFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Have you ever wondered anything like this: “How will I know when I meet my future husband?” Or, “How will I know if he’s the one I should marry?” Or, “What signs should I look for to figure out who the one is?!” These are popular questions. Chances are, you’ve probably asked some of them yourself. Trying to “figure out the ONE” is something we’ve asked ourselves over the years too. In fact, Kristen wrested with this exact question when she first met Zack. However, instead of looking for a “magic sign” or an overwhelming feeling, we’ve discovered a better way to go about this. We’ve comeFull Post

I sat on my bed, the tears flowing. I’d done it again, interacted with a nice guy and wondered if it was “him.” I got home and realized how incredibly ridiculous I had been. I felt like an utter failure at this being “content in the single years” thing. A failure at keeping my focus where it belonged. This could have been true of me two years ago or two months ago. Hello, my name is Moriah, I live in Illinois where it’s sometimes too cold and sometimes too hot. I have a wonderful family, a great church, and delightful friends. There are a lot of things that contributeFull Post

WATCH VIDEO As former “desperate flirts” the two of us want to share with you a few truths that we wish we would have embraced earlier on in life. 1. Flirting Never Satisfies Long-term Flirting may be fun in the moment, but it always leads to emptiness and disappointment. Flirting is basically saying “I need attention from guys to feel good about myself.” If you really want to feel long-term satisfaction, you have to turn to the true Source. Only Christ can ultimately satisfy and give you your true identity. 2. Flirting is Selfish Flirting at it’s core is a selfish act. Flirting isn’t about the other person, it’s aboutFull Post

I didn’t want to be that girl. That girl who sat on her bed sobbing over an ended relationship. I didn’t want to be in that sad/heart-wrenching position, but there I was. Broken hearted and wondering why it had to be me. In the moments that followed my breakup, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I cried my eyeballs out until there were no more tears to cry. My entire head was clogged from the tears and I was just doing my best to breathe. This heart stuff was hard. Harder than I’d imagined it to be. There is just something so extra painful about giving up/moving onFull Post

WATCH VLOG One of the more common questions that we get from Christian teen girls is, “how old should I be before I start dating?” Maybe you’ve asked this question yourself. The two of us asked this exact question when we hit the teen years as well. With the casual dating scene happening all around us, we questioned whether or not we should jump in. Some of our friends had starting dating, and guys began asking us out. We were interested in guys, but weren’t sure if having a boyfriend was a wise decision at our age. In this Vlog, we’re going to share with you exactly what we didFull Post

I (Kristen) thought it would be fun and helpful to do a Q & A with my husband, Zack. As a guy who loves the Lord and has experienced getting married (and the entire relationship process), he has some insightful wisdom to offer us from a guy’s perspective. Let’s dive in. Question 1: Zack, take us back to when you first met Kristen. What were some of the qualities that attracted you to her? I loved that Kristen was (and still is) passionate and convicted about what she believed. I loved this in her because I really wanted to marry a woman who knew what she believed and wouldn’tFull Post

I’ve spent a good amount of time dreaming about the future. Not dreaming of a future being married to my truest handsome love (although I do dream about that sometimes). What I’m currently dreaming about is something very near to my heart. I’m currently dreaming about the impact that we, as single Christian women, could have on our families, communities, and the world around us. Stop for a moment and dream with me. Imagine what would happen if we, as single women, intentionally viewed these unique single years as “super years” to serve God. Imagine if we viewed them as crucial for service to God, rather than as aFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Despite popular belief, God is the original designer of love, marriage, and sex. Those were His idea from the very beginning. Instead of allowing pop culture to define those areas, we need to dig into God’s Word and figure how He defines each of those areas. The two of us are challenging you to make sure that your views on love, marriage, and sex, are coming from the Designer Himself. In today’s vlog, we dig into each of those areas and unpack the bigger picture for love, marriage, and sex. WATCH VIDEO

We were desperately in love. He wanted to marry me and I wanted to be his wife. He popped the question while the sun was setting one cool October night. I immediately said yes and from that moment on we viewed one another as our soon-to-be-spouses. Love was in the air. We began planning and prepping for our future life together. We talked budgets, apartments, registries, bathroom towel colors, and everything in between. The wedding was only eight months away. Wouldn’t it make sense for us to move in together now? Why not get ahead of the game by combining our living spaces early? Shouldn’t we give marriage a testFull Post

WATCH VLOG Most single girls have a running list of the things they’re hoping for in a future husband. The list often looks something like this: Handsome Athletic Smart Funny Good with people Social Loves to have fun Makes me smile And….oh — is a Christian Goes to Church (at least most of the time) As important as a “handsome face” and “funny personality” may seem to a girl before marriage, these things often take a back seat to something else that becomes MUCH more important. Most Christian married women say that a handsome face and fun personality aren’t the most important things they want in their husband. InFull Post

My boyfriend and I had been pursuing an intentional relationship for quite some time. He was ready to move forward into engagement. I wasn’t so sure. I wanted to make sure I was making the right decision. I’d been in the relationship long enough to have all of the facts in hand. I knew the ins and outs of his personality. I knew his strengths. I knew his weaknesses. I knew his likes and dislikes. I knew his convictions. There was only one thing left for me to figure out. I needed to decide if I wanted to commit to spending the rest of my life with him. QuestionsFull Post

WATCH VLOG Infatuation, Modesty and The Future are popular topics amongst modern women. How do I avoid becoming obsessed with a guy? How to let go of a guy after I’ve already ended the relationship? Does dressing modestly mean I’m ashamed of my body? How can I remain faithful to God when I don’t know what the future holds? I have a passion to invest in younger women, but I’m not sure where to start? Any ideas? Kristen and Bethany tackle these questions and more. WATCH VLOG

If there’s one thing that will quickly raises eyebrows of curiosity, it’s when I tell people that my husband and I were both virgins on our wedding day. As normal as that seemed to me back when I got married, I’m becoming more aware of how radically counter-cultural this is in today’s society. When people hear that I intentionally and purposely chose to save sex for marriage, their next question is almost always, “why?” Why would I put myself through that? Why would I force myself to wait on something that is so amazing? Why would I deny myself the fun and pleasure that so many other single girlsFull Post

WATCH VLOG For those of you who have been through a heartbreak, we can understand. We’ve each been through difficult and extremely painful breakups. If you are willing to follow God, trust in His perfect plan, cling to His Word, pour out your heart to Him, He can use your heartbreak for good as well. In today’s vlog, we share five truths to help you handle your breakup in a God-honoring way. 1. Seek Comfort in the Right Places. 2. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. 3. Surround yourself with godly wisdom. 4. Fill your mind with truth. 5. Choose to Serve Others. WATCH VLOG

I was in sixth grade and knew exactly how to work it. Every girl at church camp liked the same guy and I was determined to get his attention. He was cute. He was popular. I wanted nothing less than for him to like me. I wasn’t interested in a relationship or anything serious (I was only 12 years old) I just liked the way I felt when I captured his attention. I remember the situation like it was yesterday. We were playing knockout (a basketball game) on the camp sports court. I made my shot and then went to lure my prey. I ran over towards him withFull Post

WATCH VLOG Maintaining purity in a romantic relationship is not an easy thing to do. John and Elizabeth are a newly married couple and remember the early days of their relationship very clearly. They offer practical advice on how to honor God in this area of a relationship. If you are in a relationship, want to be in a relationship, or plan to be one day in the future, this will prepare you to honor God and maintain purity. WATCH VLOG

They were young and in love. Their entire future was ahead of them. Everything seemed magical in their lives and he couldn’t wait to propose to her. He began ring shopping with great excitement and imagined the moment he would slip the diamond onto her finger. Suddenly, without any warning, something drastic changed their lives forever. It was a normal day for this young couple just like any other day. He headed to his car without a clue that this would be the last day he would walk or talk for a very long time. He merged onto the highway like he always did, but this time things wouldn’tFull Post

It seems like every girl has questions in the back of her mind that she just wishes she could ask a godly guy. Questions that would give her as close to a “guy’s perspective on life” as she could get. We are so glad to inform you that this post is exactly that! We had the opportunity to have three young ladies brainstorm and come up with a few questions that they would ask a guy, if given the opportunity. Their questions are in bold below. We took those questions and sent them on over to a godly guy and had him answer the questions from his perspective. WeFull Post

A few months ago, Kristen and I began praying about a theme for our upcoming summer conference. We talked, prayed, talked some more and still came up empty handed. We wanted to host a conference that would meet the greatest needs of the girls who would attend…we just weren’t sure what that was. The two of us agreed that we didn’t want to settle on a topic just because it seemed interesting or exciting. We wanted a topic that would genuinely help and challenge the girls attending. After hours of thinking, we decided to give the brainstorming a break. A few weeks went by and then we met backFull Post

I was a sophomore in high school and had just finished playing in the semi-finals for a big basketball tournament. As my team and I were sitting in the bleachers scouting out our competition, one of the high school guys teams came and sat right behind us. It just so happened that these guys went on to introduce themselves and quickly struck up a conversation. As our conversation with these guys gained speed, my ears quickly tuned into their major language problem. Their English was fine, but their choice of words was filled with profanity and inappropriate comments. Being the outgoing girl on my team, I turned around and lookedFull Post

WATCH VLOG I’ve heard several girls express similar complaints over the past few months. They sound something like this… “I did everything right. I haven’t had sex. I didn’t date around. I tried to honor God. So what gives? Why didn’t God give me a husband?” In today’s Vlog, I want to take you through 3 different truths to help you answer that questions. Here are 3 truths to help you gain a Biblical approach to purity: 1. God never guarantees you a husband. Getting married and having a husband is an awesome thing, but it’s not a guarantee. We need to make sure that we don’t add to ScriptureFull Post

Every­ Christian has something to say about purity, be it right or wrong, loose or conservative, broad or specific. Purity is a vital element of our walk with God—and one, it seems, that many are missing. Christian girls are pros at talking the talk and getting on mission trip and youth conference “highs for Jesus,” but when it comes down to making right choices, standing blameless before God, and keeping pure, humble, and full of the fear of the Lord—there’s a discon­nect. Purity is not a ring, a book, or even a commitment, though all of those can be good things! But without actively maintaining our whole selves accordingFull Post

I used to love beating guys at basketball. Well…I actually loved beating guys at anything. Back in high school, there were two guys who challenged Bethany and me to a game of two-on-two basketball. Ummm. Yes. We were totally up for the challenge. You could smell their pride as we stepped onto the court. This was going to be fun. Lets just say the game didn’t last long. We beat them twenty-one to zip. Bethany and I walked off the court openly smirking. In our minds, we were the bomb. For us, beating guys in basketball was the ultimate “girls are better than boys” proclamation. Back then, my attitude towardsFull Post

WATCH VIDEO The first six months of my marriage were some of the most eye opening months of my life. Prior to getting marriage, I thought being a wife was easy business. I mean…seriously — how hard could it be? As I approached my wedding day, I naively thought I was fully prepared in every way. Reality check! After six months of marriage I realized how utterly unprepared I truly was in certain areas. If I could go back in time, I would definitely give my “single self” some major advice. Looking back now, after 6 years of marriage, there are some specific things I wish I had worked harderFull Post

I clearly remember the day that I went from being “single” to being in a relationship with Zack. It was so exciting, exhilarating, and strange all at the same time. All of a sudden I had this amazing guy in my life. He wanted to get to know me. I wanted to get to know him. Neither of us knew if our relationship would result in marriage, but we were anxious to find out. After ten long months of intentionally getting to know one another, seeking wisdom, and praying a lot, it became very clear that marriage was the next step for us. Eeeek! We were giddy with excitement!Full Post

WATCH VLOG Beauty, Romance, and The Christian Life are popular topics amongst modern women. What if a guy is pressuring me to change myself? How do I know if a guy likes me? What do I do when I feel like God has turned His back on me? What are the dangers in fantasizing? How can I minister as a single girl? How can I be patient in my relationship? Kristen and Bethany tackle these questions and more in today’s vlog. WATCH VLOG

WATCH VLOG The question of whether a Christian should date a non-Christian has been circulating for centuries. Here are a few common questions we’ve received on this topic: “What’s the harm in dating a non-Christian guy?” “What if he’s a highly moral guy, but he’s not a Christian. Is dating okay?” “We love each other and love is bigger than religion, right?” Check out today’s Vlog for five really helpful truths to help you decide if dating a non-Christian is a wise idea. WATCH VLOG

This past weekend I went to a women’s conference at my church. The topic? Sex. Yes, I know I’m single. I know it’s a little weird that I went to a conference talking about something only married women should be doing. I know you’re probably wondering how in the world a conference on sex helped me in my singleness. Although the conference was on sex (something I’ve never done and don’t plan do until I’m married) it was honestly amazing. I wish each and every one of you could have been there with me. The sessions were incredibly tasteful, biblically based, and super practical. Dr. Juli Slattery was soFull Post

WATCH VIDEO I (Bethany) clearly remember a time in my life when I was totally infatuated with a guy. In my mind, this guy could do no wrong. He was like a modern day William Wallace. After a good two years, the fog lifted and I was finally able to see clearly. It was in those moments of clarity that I finally realized I had been infatuated. I had basically ignored all the wisdom and advice around me because I was so head-over-heals for this guy. My feelings were driving my brain and I wasn’t going to let anything stop me. Infatuation has a way of creeping up onFull Post

WATCH VIDEO God, guys, and purity are popular topics amongst modern single women. How do I study my Bible? How do I talk to other people about God? How do I remain pure before marriage? What do I do with attention from a non-believing guy? Questions like these are regulars in our email inbox. It can be so hard to know how to answer these questions and practically live out biblical truth. In today’s vlog, we tackle these questions and do our best to give you down-to-earth biblical answers. WATCH VIDEO

WATCH VIDEO Bethany understands what it’s like to have an unmet desire. As a single girl herself, she says there are only two ways to handle your desire for marriage. Will you choose the road towards sorrow or satisfaction? Bethany’s learned that living in a state of, “I must have marriage” is awful. She’s decided to instead trust the Lord with her heart and desires. She challenges you to do the same. WATCH VIDEO

Annie was twenty-two going on twenty-three, boyfriend-less and struggling to trust in God. She lived in a small town, worked at a small business and went to a small church. Let’s just say the male prospects (or lack of) in town were small as well. The longing in Annie’s heart to finally meet and marry the man of her dreams was becoming overbearing. How could she possibly remain content in life when true love was nowhere on the horizon? Although Annie’s heart longed for a guy, she made the tough decision to give her desires to God and wait patiently on His timing. Annie’s relationship status didn’t change rightFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Valentine’s Day often brings a lot of different thoughts and emotions for single girls. With romance floating in the air and stores bursting with dark chocolate and roses, it can be hard not to get down and discouraged. Instead of falling into a “woe is me” mindset, the two of us want to show you how to survive and thrive this special day. WATCH VIDEO

The conference had just begun as I settled into my chair with my warm cup of coffee in hand. I was excited to take a break from the normal routine of life and instead spend the weekend resting and recharging. About ten minutes into the opening session, I noticed a cute young married couple come through the doors. They looked no older than mid-twenties, so I’m guessing they had to be a newly(ish) married couple. What happened next totally took me off guard. As the husband walked in and gestured towards a row for the two of them to sit in, the wife looked at him with a lookFull Post

It was a sunny Friday afternoon, and I had just finished attending a writing conference with a girlfriend of mine. I walked to the parking garage and hopped in my truck. Yikes! The parking garage had been empty when I pulled in early that morning, but it had completely filled up throughout the day. Getting out of a parking garage in a big Texas truck is nearly impossible. As I slowly started to inch my way out, I noticed the driver in the car waiting to take my parking spot was a very attractive looking guy. He had a big smile on his face as he watched me slowlyFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Bethany opens up and answers personal questions about guys, relationships, and being single. As a twenty-eight-year-old single girl, Bethany can relate to the struggles, sorrows, and difficulties that accompany those extra unwanted single years. Although she doesn’t claim to have lived these years out perfectly, she’s learned a few things that have been extremely beneficial to her and she wants to share them with you. WATCH VIDEO

“Maybe this will be my year!” she squealed. “Maybe I’ll finally meet the man of my dreams.” The hopes of finding “true love” is on the minds of a lot of single people as the new year rolls around. It was for me when I was single! The anticipation of a new beginning and all that the year might hold is an exciting thing. There’s just something fresh and exhilarating about the unknowns and the what-ifs. Right? If you’re single and hoping to get married, chances are you’ve probably wondered if this is your year too. You’ve probably wondered if Mr. Right is going to finally make his grandFull Post

WATCH VIDEO You hear the music, you see the pictures, you feel the “love in the air” and you just wish you had a man to enjoy it with. But, you don’t. It’s just little old you with your Christmas music and peppermint mocha. You dream of the day when you will have a family of your own and someone to “steal a kiss under the mistletoe” with, but that’s not your current reality. A New Perspective and a Little Bit of Hope We want to share with you a new perspective and a little bit of hope. We want to encourage you with some nuggets of truth thatFull Post

The bride and groom were beaming with joy as they rushed down the aisle of cheering guests. The cheers grew louder as they stopped mid-line and the groom leaned in for a picture perfect kiss. Within moments their “just married” getaway car zoomed out of the church parking lot leaving the sound of dragging clickety cans to the cheering guests. Fast forward 3 years. The words “for better or for worse” and “till death do us part” have faded into the background. The reality of a tight budget, a screaming one-year-old, and schedules that are packed, began to take a serious toll. The bride and groom had long forgottenFull Post

WATCH VLOG They met at a church event. They started messaging and chatting online. Before long, their “innocent” chatter turned into flirting, which quickly turned into more intimate conversations. After several weeks, their online interactions were taking them down sexual roads they never thought they’d go. Stories like this aren’t uncommon. With so many online chatting programs and social media tools, a girl and guy don’t have to search very hard to engage in a romantic fling. The scariest part about the entire thing is that it can all take place inside the four private walls of our very own bedroom. Why is this so scary? Because a secret romantic relationship canFull Post

This guy was not necessarily a crush, but I could feel him slowly becoming one. The last time I tried to talk to him we had to go separate ways on our busy college campus, so we didn’t get to finish our conversation. This was going to be different. After class, I noticed that he intentionally got “delayed” so that we could walk out at the same time. “How cute!” I thought to myself. We had a nice conversation as we walked. As usual, we were headed in opposite directions, but this time, we didn’t part ways as quickly. We stopped in the middle of a crowded area andFull Post

Feelings of heartbreak, sadness and fear swept over me as I scanned the mountain range. I breathed in the fresh air hoping the great outdoors would do me some good. Life was hard at this moment in time. Like really really hard. I was in my early/mid-twenties and completely distraught over a life changing decision. To move forward in my relationship and get married, or, to end the relationship and enter back into singleness. Deep in my heart, I knew what I had to do. I knew I couldn’t continue the relationship out of fear and/or desperation. I knew I couldn’t get married out of the fear that thisFull Post

WATCH VIDEO It’s time for us as single girls to recognize that singleness isn’t a season to “endure” until marriage, but a season to serve God to the best of our ability. Here are 6 ideas on how to live your single years well: 1. Don’t Complain 2. Speak Words of Gratitude 3. Get Outside of Yourself 4. Get the Bigger Picture 5. Surround Yourself With Young and Old 6. Commit to Growing That’s a wrap. Six ideas on how to live your single years well. Which one of the six areas would you like to commit to improving? Share your thoughts in the comments below. WATCH VIDEO

The moment his piercing blue eyes glanced in my direction my heart melted into a pile of serious infatuation. This guy was everything I’d ever dreamed of and then some. He was handsome with an extra dose of Hollywood swag. In my mind, I had us happily married and imagined myself as the luckiest girl on planet earth. My entire future happiness and marital bliss were being based off one thing…my physical attraction to “Mr. Hollywood” himself. I knew nothing (literally nothing) about this guy, except for his looks. Long story short, I ended up meeting and getting to know Mr. Hollywood and the two of us developed aFull Post

Caution: This topic may not be appropriate for younger audiences. Without being unnecessarily graphic, my hope in writing this two part series is to offer helpful biblical counsel for the many Christian girls who are struggling in this area. It used to be that most blogs and books dealing with sexual sin issues were geared towards men. However, over the past few years many women have opened up about their own sexual sin struggles, expressing a need for help in this area as well. Praise the Lord! We, as women, are not immune to lustful sins any more than men are. Lust is not a guy problem…it’s a humanFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Over the years, we’ve learned very quickly that there are some Christian guys who would make great husbands, and some who would not. Life is too short to spend it married to someone whose heart isn’t totally turned towards God. There isn’t time to settle for a guy out of hopelessness, desperation or just plain emotional want. Here are the 6 types of guys we personally would never recommend for you to date, court, or marry. WATCH VIDEO

WATCH VLOG Do you remember the popular relationships book from the 90’s called “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris? This book has sold over one million copies since its original release, and has always been a controversial book. However, just more recently, we’ve seen article after article from people saying that this book has totally ruined their lives. One man commented and said, “this book has ruined my marriage and it will never be the same!” Ruined your life? Ruined your marriage?? Those are bold statements. Having read the book ourselves over 15 years ago, and not experienced a ruined life as a result, we thought we’d tackleFull Post

What better place to observe the possibility of chivalry than in a room full of young singles at a Bible study. And that’s exactly where I was. The room was packed to the brim and almost every spare chair had been pulled out and used by the late arrivals. Somehow a young lady had squeezed in unnoticed and ended up without a chair. She quietly made her way to a small ledge and found a way to lean/sit against it. After a few moments, I noticed a kind young man quietly making his way towards her with his chair. He started to pull the chair out and set itFull Post

WATCH VIDEO Calling all the single girls! If you desire to get married some day (whether soon or in the far off future), this vlog was created especially for you. Being single can be hard at times…really hard. Especially if you’re hoping to get married sooner rather than later. In this vlog, we want to share with you 4 powerful truths that will help you live your single years well. These truths helped Kristen during her single years, and they are still helping Bethany as she waits on God’s timing for marriage. If you want to thrive during this season of your life, these 4 truths will help you doFull Post

WATCH VIDEO It’s time for you to understand, challenge, and encourage the men God has placed in your life. Are you willing to take a step out on a limb and do what only a handful of girls are doing? Are you willing to stand apart from the average girl and encourage guys to live to a higher standard? WATCH VIDEO

When I took hold of the challenge to write a book about sex, and all the touchy subjects it touches, I had no idea I’d discover the secret to love. Sex illuminates the farthest corners of our hearts. It reveals the pain and the promise, our desire for more of everything we deeply want. Sex is the picture of Christ and His bride — too beautiful to behold — mysteriously expressed between a man and a woman. In marriage, sex is yada — or at least it should be. Yada is the Hebrew word for “knew,” as in “Adam knew his wife Eve” and she conceived and bore a sonFull Post

I couldn’t stop looking at him. He was one of my favorite early crushes. This guy was one of my brother’s basketball teammates and I just loved watching him run up and down the court. At 12 years old I was enthralled with him. He put little sparkles in his gel so his hair slightly shimmered as he played basketball. Oh! I thought I was in love! I even secretly gave him the endearing nickname “sparkly.” There was only one problem. “Sparkly” and I had never talked. In fact, I don’t even think he knew I existed. I adored his shimmering hairdo, but had no idea who he reallyFull Post

Looking back on my high school years I realize how little I knew about interacting with guys. I would say, the one word that best described my interaction with young men, would probably be flirting. As a super outgoing, social, extroverted gal, flirting just seemed to be my most natural way of interaction. Some girls feel awkward around guys and run away out of fear, and some, like myself, revert to being overly friendly and flirty. I personally don’t think either option is a good one. Over the years God has convicted my heart in this area and I’ve come a long *long* way in my guy friendships. I’mFull Post

Have you ever noticed how some married couples seem to display a real, genuine relationship with each other? Being a guy with child­like wonder, I’m naturally curious. Why does he treat her with love, kindness, and care? Why does she respect, honor, and follow him? As single Christian guys and girls, we should be cultivating habits which are crucial for healthy marriages. Here are three effective ways the Lord has shown me to prepare for marriage during these single years. 1. View Marriage In Light of Eternity Many of us will focus on many of the practical details of preparing for an earthly marriage that we often lose sight ofFull Post

WATCH VIDEO The two of us used to think that getting married would automatically transform us into “princess perfects.” We thought that, somehow, our flaws and sinful hearts would disappear into the background while we loved our husbands selflessly. Riiiight. If you’ve ever thought the same thing, this vlog is for you. Although Kristen has only been married for 5 years, she has learned a lot about marriage and true love and is sharing her insights on today’s vlog. If you’re a single girl in need of some advice on how to prepare for marriage, you’ll love today’s video. WATCH VIDEO

Girls like knowing what guys think. Right? I know I do. Especially when the guy is single, godly, and striving to honor God with his life. Well, I have something extra special for you today. Kristen and I interviewed a young man who is striving to honor God with his life as a single guy. We asked him five different questions and wanted to hear his honest opinion on each topic. The two of us were encouraged and challenged by his answers, and we think you will be too. 1. What are some of the most important qualities you are looking for in a future wife? The first thing thatFull Post

WATCH VLOG Today – we’ve decided to dedicate this entire vlog to answering your guy questions. We’ve hand picked 3 of the most popular questions we hear from you and have attempted to answer them in this video. What is a good age to start dating? Is it better to be in a struggling relationship than to be single? How can I be “just friends” with guys? These are all great questions! Watch today’s vlog to hear our answers to each one of these questions. WATCH VLOG

We can’t escape the reality that we live in a highly sexualized American culture. Things are not quite as “behind the scenes” as they used to be. The magazines in the grocery store portray half naked women while billboards display seductive pictures to grab our attention. No matter how sheltered you may feel as a Christian girl, you can’t help but notice the sex-obsessed culture we live in. Every one of us has an opinion on the topic of sex and my question for you today is this: Where does your worldview on sex come from? Is it based on God’s Word, or on what Hollywood teaches? If you don’tFull Post

We have exciting news to share with you. GirlDefined Ministries is launching an official YouTube Channel today!! We will be posting new Vlogs every Wednesday from now on. If you have a specific topic or subject you’d like us to cover in an upcoming video, just email us HERE. We hope to use our YouTube channel to reach an even broader audience with the powerful and freeing message of God-defined womanhood. We’d love your help in spreading the word about it! WATCH TODAY’S VLOG

“Babe, I have a great idea…” Zack said enthusiastically. “I want to plan our entire honeymoon by myself and completely surprise you!” With a shocked face and raised eyebrows, I smiled at my handsome fiance and asked, “Seriously? You want to surprise me and plan our entire honeymoon on your own?” “Yes!” Zack responded confidently. “You don’t have to worry about a thing. I’ve totally got this,” he added with a wink. With four months left until our wedding day, it was honestly a huge relief for me to remove the honeymoon planning from my to-do list. Before I knew it, the time had finally arrived and I foundFull Post

We are so excited to announce that Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity officially launched today!!! Today is a day of celebration. A day to celebrate all that God has done and is going to do. We are in awe of His incredible grace and mercy in our lives and this book is a testimony of His faithfulness. Our prayer is that this book will show you God’s incredible design for the girl and help you see that God defined femininity is an amazing and beautiful thing. We’re inviting you to join us on a liberating journey toward a radically better vision for femininity. OneFull Post

Back in high school, I remember walking out of Walmart and finding a secret “love note” stuck to my windshield. It was from none other than the Walmart parking lot cart guy himself! After weeks of catching him stare at me every time I pulled up, he finally (cleverly) spilled his interest in me. He invited me to join him on a romantic date to Chili’s *ahem* the following Tuesday. Well…long story short, I didn’t go. That marked the beginning and end of my Walmart romance. He seemed like a nice guy and all, I just wasn’t interested in dating around. But the bigger reason I said no wasFull Post

I’ll never forget the day I found out the guy I was in a relationship with was not a virgin. I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. I was so in love with him and never fathomed this would be a part of our future together. After I heard the news, I needed time to process it. I needed time to pray. I needed to search my heart and figure out if this was something I was willing to accept. After a lot of prayer and discussion, I came to the conclusion that I was willing and able to move forward in the relationship. Here are aFull Post

The other day I was hanging out with a group of solid Christian friends. We were chatting about life, catching up, and just having a great time. During our time out together, we had some great conversations about dating, romance, courtship and singleness. We went around in a circle and shared our thoughts on those topics. We answered questions like…Would we date? Court? How are we currently preparing for marriage? Etc. One of the single guys shared something that I found really encouraging and inspiring. I thought I would share it with you gals to encourage you and challenge you as well. In a condensed version, here’s what he said:Full Post

Have you ever wondered why some guys “stand-out” as solid Christian men? On the flip side, have you ever wondered why other guys behave as wimps, displaying immature and jerk-like attitudes? I’m a guy. Yes, I’ve seen both. Yes, I’ve experienced the immature behavior myself. Yes, young solid Christian guy leaders do still exist. And yes, they can be hard to spot at times. Understanding Christian guy leadership has burdened me deeply. Christian guy leaders are desperately needed. They’re needed for the church. They’re needed for young godly Christian single girls. They’re needed to raise families. But, most importantly, they’re needed for the Gospel, for Christ’s sake. As aFull Post

Most of you know that I’m married to an amazing guy named Zack. Throughout the course of our 10 month courtship, it became really clear that he was the man for me. There were specific signs I was looking for in his character, actions, words, worldview, and spiritual genuineness that helped me (and my family) determine whether he was “the one” or not. Obviously, Zack did turn out to be the one. All in, Zack had numerous signs of being a godly, mature, and faithful guy. However, not every guy that came into my life prior to Zack passed the test. In fact, there were some guys that hadFull Post

She was a missionary’s daughter. He was a missionary’s son. They noticed each other for the first time while serving on the mission field with their families in a remote village. They were both raised in families that loved the gospel. They were both raised in families that loved marriage. As the months stretched on, the missionary’s son decided to pursue this pretty brown-eyed girl. Things took off and both families were excited about the possibility of joining together in marriage. The relationship looked picture perfect from the outside. This couple appeared to be honoring God in their interactions with one another. They appeared to be pure and holyFull Post

WATCH VIDEO HERE I get it girls. I understand the fear, worry, discontentment and discouragement that can often times accompany our “single status.” I admit that I don’t have this whole “contentment” thing down pat. There are moments where I definitely struggle. I struggle to trust. I struggle to remain joyful. I struggle keep my eyes focused on the One who has the plan. Despite the fact that my desire to get married is currently unfulfilled, I’ve found something that has radically transformed my life. I’ve realized that true joy and contentment isn’t reserved for the super godly or hyper spiritual. True joy and contentment is available for eachFull Post

WATCH VIDEO HERE. Drumroll please!! We have been waiting for this day for months. We have been praying for this day for years. God has done the miraculous and we are so excited to announce and release this video for you today! Since you’re a special part of the GirlDefined team, we wanted you (our awesome subscribers) to see this video first. Then – after you watch it – we want to personally invite you to join us on an amazing journey! If you’ve ever asked yourself any of these questions, this journey is for you: Am I valuable? Am I beautiful? What’s my purpose as a woman? HowFull Post

I married an amazing gentleman who has never failed to be chivalrous in our marriage. Even before Zack and I got married, he always did one little thing that I absolutely adore. He always opened the door. Not just restaurant doors and house doors. He opened (and still does) my car door too. Every time I get in or out of the car, he opens my door for me – regardless of who is driving. Does he need to open my door? No. Am I perfectly capable of opening my own door? Yes. But this little act of chivalry has taught me huge lessons about our God-defined roles asFull Post

When I was in college I went shopping with some of my best friends every Thursday night. Like you might imagine I was evaluating the size, color, and qualities. The crazy thing is, I never purchased a single thing. In fact, I wasn’t even shopping for clothes, shoes, or accessories. I was shopping for guys. Every Thursday night was my college small group. If there were new guys visiting, I would check them out. If I liked what I saw, I would immediately view them as a “potential.” Over time, I began forming a long list of “options” as I continued to evaluate and shop. I tried theseFull Post

I still remember the moment I laid eyes on him. He was sitting 8 rows in front of me. His strong arms, wavy brown hair, and tall physique caught my attention immediately. I didn’t know who he was or where he came from, but my stomach was churning with butterflies. He was good looking, tall, and attending the same Christian conference I was attending. He had to be a great Christian guy (right??)! We finally met the during the last night of the conference, right after the closing ceremonies. My heart almost leaped out of my chest when I found how close we lived to one another, and howFull Post

I spotted my target. He was tall, lanky, and had a head full of bushy brown hair. I convinced my sixteen-year-old self that he was drop-dead gorgeous (in a manly sort of way, of course). There was a major problem, though. My best friend thought he was gorgeous, too. Uh-oh. Girl fight! Besties crushing on the same guy is never a good thing. After talking about our crush, my friend and I decided to have a competition. Neither of us had actually met this guy—we’d only stared and admired—and we wanted to change that. We decided that whoever had the most guts to meet him and get to knowFull Post

With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, I wanted to know how a Christian single guy handles this holiday. Is he sad? Depressed? Happy? Mad? I wanted the inside scoop! Thankfully, I was able to squeeze in a quick interview with a guy friend of mine. I came up with a few questions, sent them his way, and this is what he had to say. Be prepared to be encouraged and challenged all at the same time. Q: How do you handle Valentine’s Day? A: Sometimes Valentine’s Day stinks. On the day when it seems like every other person I know has that “special someone” in their life, there I sit,Full Post

The first six months of my marriage were some of the most eye opening months of my life. Up until that point I thought being a wife and a help-mate was easy business. I felt fully prepared for my role as a wife. Major delusion. After six months of marriage I realized how utterly unprepared I was in certain areas. To be honest, there were five things I wish I had known before I got married. If you’re a single girl and are hoping to get married some day, this advice is for you. 1. Your Relationship with God is the KEY to Being a Happy Wife. I hadFull Post

I was standing in line at my local grocery store when an obnoxious magazine caught my eye. I’m used to seeing half-naked women on the cover of tabloids, but this image seemed even too edgy for a tabloid. A small wave of anger rushed over me as I thought of the innocent children and husbands who were being exposed to this – as I call it – “tabloid porn.” As I tried to refocus my thinking on something more positive, a middle aged couple got in line behind me. I watched in curiosity as the wife reached over and selected that magazine off the rack. I watched even moreFull Post

I am sharing 7 major benefits of saving sex for marriage. This is the 2nd half of a two part series, so if you didn’t catch the first post, check it out here. You don’t want to miss it! 4. You Set Yourself Apart as Being Highly Valuable Girl, God says you are highly valuable to Him. He created you in His image and you carry immense worth and purpose because of Christ (Eph. 4:2-9). You are worth so much more than a cheap guy who isn’t patient enough to control his sexual passions. When you choose to save the gift of sex for marriage, you tell every guyFull Post

I didn’t have sex until I got married. Zip. Zilch. Nada. According to our modern culture, I am nothing more than an ignorant, non-liberated, trapped female, stuck in the age of patriarchy. I didn’t express my sexual “freedom” like I should. I didn’t take advantage of the feminist’s offer to access free birth control as a teen. I didn’t follow my heart and do whatever felt right. Instead, I rebelled. I rebelled against our culture’s expectations for sex and the single girl, and instead, chased after something better. Saving sex for marriage is now considered “so 1800’s.” It’s a thing of the past. It’s for lame girls who can’tFull Post

I’ll never forget the days of being an innocent teen girl who viewed the world through rose colored glasses. I assumed the best of most everyone and figured a guy who claimed to be a Christian, had good manners, and was interested in me, must be a solid catch. And then I grew up. Reality hit. My eyes were opened. I learned very quickly that there are some solid Christian guys who would make for great husbands, and some who would not. I realized through personal experience (and observation of other relationships) that there are 6 types of guys I would never consider marrying (unless he had some seriousFull Post

“Will he ever come along?” “Will she ever show up?” These are common questions young singles ask when no relationship materializes – or at least none that resulted in marriage. Why does a loving God allow us to experience this loneliness? Why do we have this longing for a relationship at all? Deep down, we all have a desire to love and to be loved. Make no mistake; these are God given desires. There are two great commandments: love the Lord your God, and love your neighbor as yourself (Luke 10:27). As great as they are, there is no way for us to keep them in and of ourselves.Full Post

I feel so empty some days. Like part of my life or half of my heart is missing. Like I’m a puzzle waiting for that last piece to be put in its rightful spot so the masterpiece can be finished. I know my problem. I have a God-sized hole in my heart but I’ve been trying to fill that hole with a marriage-sized cork or a man-sized puzzle piece. Neither of these were meant to fill the hole so they aren’t going to fill the emptiness. I have learned that only one man is able to truly fulfill me. Only one man has the ability to fully satisfyFull Post

The cold weather. The beautiful lights. The white snow. The music. The traditions. The feelings of warmth and love. The gifts. The Christmas season. I don’t know about you, but when the Christmas season rolls around, I get in a sentimental, sweet, and special sort of mood. I soak up my time spent with friends and family and treasure every special tradition we celebrate during the December month. One of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is…wait for it…the Christmas music. I absolutely L-O-V-E Christmas music. I admit, I’m guilty. I break all the rules. I started listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving this year. I just can’tFull Post

There it was again. That special look from a guy in my class who was a sandy-haired, blue-eyed walking Gap ad. This time, I hadn’t been mistaken—it was clear that he thought I was cute. The reality of that thought spread a foolish smirk across my face, and I felt my brain suddenly turn into a bowl of pudding. During that semester, his admiration was consistently obvious but not aggressive. I enjoyed the attention and began to look forward to receiving that lovely sense of affirmation every time I saw him. Does this scenario sound familiar? As Christian women, how on earth should we react when we receiveFull Post

On October 1st, 2004, I sat down on my bedroom floor, grabbed a piece of plain paper, and penned my very first letter to my future husband. Since that day, I’ve written dozens of letters to this future unknown man. These letters contain prayers, dreams, thoughts, encouragement, Bible verses and so much more. My hope is that one day (if the Lord wills) I’ll be able to gift these to him as a reminder of my prayers for him and faithfulness to the Lord even before I knew who he was. These letters are (and continue to be) a huge reminder to me that my future husband is aFull Post

I was 19 years old when love and romance came knocking on my door. He was funny, I laughed. He was cute, I was smitten. He liked me, I liked him. He pursued me, I fell in love. And then…it ended. As quickly as it started. My tears covered my pillow for weeks on end. It took me a good six months to get to the point of feeling recovered. Even though I was totally heartbroken, God gave me the grace to come to grips with the situation. Looking back I still can’t believe I was only 19 years old when I started my first serious relationship. I knewFull Post

Megan met Josh through a young adults group at her church and had been going out with him for several weeks. One evening while having coffee with Josh, he confessed to her that he currently struggles with pornography and is trying really hard to stop. Megan wasn’t sure how to process this shocking information and went home with a conflicted heart. She hated the thought of Josh viewing pornography, but didn’t know if it was a big enough deal to end the relationship. What would you do if you were Megan? How harmful is pornography to a developing relationship? Is it wise for a single girl to date or courtFull Post

You notice the guy. He catches your eye. Your heart races. You start dreaming. The week goes by and you can’t keep him out of your mind. Without even trying, he’s “won” your heart. You’ve planned your wedding, you’ve planned your future. You even have three adorable kids. And then…the dreaded happens. You find out that your dream dude has a girlfriend. “Noooooooo” you cry. Your future is ruined. Your dreams are shattered. All of your dreaming and scheming has come to an end and you are left with a “broken heart.” Sound familiar? Maybe your story isn’t so much a figment of your imagination, but an actual reality.Full Post

Our world often portrays singleness as a condition of loneliness, doomed to the unfortunate. I struggled with this for years. At one point in my life, “singleness” clouded my true identity with thoughts like…“since I’m not in a relationship, something must be wrong with me.” I allowed my relationship status to determine my value and worth. We, as Christian girls, are constantly reminded through music, movies, tv shows, commercials holidays and even our friends that we are missing out. We consequently develop an unhealthy desire to be in a relationship because of what we see and what we hear. We begin to glorify a “relationship” as our ultimate goalFull Post

After eight long grueling months, I finally walked the aisle to my “happily ever after.” My engagement to Zack felt like a never ending form of torture. If I had possessed the power to rotate the clock forward, I probably would have. To my surprise though, the big day did finally arrive. And before I even knew what was happening, I blinked, and found myself waking up next to my husband on our 4 year anniversary. Time flies. And it flies at supersonic speed. As I’m approaching 4 and a half years of marriage, I’m beginning to see things with a whole new perspective. The man I said “IFull Post

With technology continually on the rise and dating sites becoming much more of the norm, I think we should do ourselves a favor and dig into the topic of online dating. I have to be honest with you though, I’ve been avoiding the “online dating” topic like the plague. Why? Because I have several really close friends, that I greatly admire, who stand on the opposite side of the spectrum. Some friends love online dating to pieces and some can’t hate it enough. There are also great Christian ministries (that I highly respect) who hold very different views. On one hand there’s Leslie Ludy who is totally against itFull Post

I looked at the caller ID on my pink razor flip phone and immediately got sweaty palms. I was 16 years old and was committed to only pursuing a relationship when I was ready or able to consider the possibility of marriage. As a 16 year old girl I knew I wasn’t ready. And I knew the guy calling on the other line wasn’t ready either. With feelings of hesitation I answered his call. “Hello, this is Bethany” “Hey Bethany!! How ya doing today?” The conversation continued and the expected happened. Jeremy expressed his interest and asked me if I would consider starting a relationship with him. I didn’tFull Post

It started when I was just 12 years old. I knew exactly what I wanted and I knew how to get it. Attention from Brandon was my goal, and flirting was my strategy. I was at a church camp playing knock out (a basketball game) under the pavilion. Time was ticking. My parents would be there any minute to pick me up. I needed to act quick before I lost my chance. Like a seasoned pro I put on my flirty smile, ran up to Brandon and grabbed the bandana from around his arm. Of course he chased after me and played right into my little game. Score! MissionFull Post

Back in the day, when I was on the lookout for a woman to marry, Kristen immediately caught my eye. She was (and still is) strikingly beautiful. Her smile was radiant. Her personality was warm and welcoming. She genuinely cared about everyone. She was joyful and everyone loved being around her. Bottom line, she was awesome. Guess what? It wasn’t her body that drew me to her. In fact, I don’t even remember being distracted by her body. She dressed in a way that drew attention to her face. Her clothing reflected the joy and love of Christ in her life. I didn’t have to wonder about her intentions.Full Post

I grew up reading (and rereading) the insanely popular relationship books on courtship and dating. Titles like, “When God Writes Your Love Story,” “When Dreams Come True,” “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” “Boy Meets Girl” and several others were well worn books on my bookshelf. As a 14,15,16 and 17 year old girl I was gung ho on board with the idea of “leaving the pen in God’s hands.” I trusted God big time. I wanted Him to write my love story. I wanted Him to show off in a mighty way in my love life. I was a “leave the pen in God’s hands” groupie like none other. YearFull Post

Shirtless guys. They’re everywhere. Go to any swimming pool or beach and you will see dozens of them. Watch any modern chick-flick and you’ll probably see a generous amount of them. The sidewalks in the summer reveal shirtless guys running. Pinterest is filled with thousands of “hot shirtless guy” boards. Instagram is loaded with male celebrities eager to fill your feed with their shirtless bods. Shirtless guys have been an increasingly common part of the modern American culture. However, it hasn’t always been this way. Wikipedia stated that “during the Victorian period, Western cultures deplored nudity of any degree, even barechested [shirtless] male swimmers at ocean beaches, and peopleFull Post

“He just texted me again!” Abby said with a girlish squeal. She and her two sisters were hanging out in her bedroom chatting about guy stuff. Abby was nineteen years old and secretly hoping that Clay was “the one.” She woke up every morning wondering if he had texted her. If he hadn’t texted her, she would instantly think, “I wonder if he’ll text me today!” Or “Should I shoot him a text?” Or “Should I try and casually sit by him when we hang out in groups?” Or “Maybe I should suggest going on a date…?” Thoughts like these consumed her mind morning until night for several months.Full Post

He said he loved her. He asked her to move in with him. She liked him a lot. She decided to give it a try. One sunny afternoon, she loaded up her apartment and moved all of her stuff into her boyfriend’s place. They ate breakfast together. They ate dinner together. She did his laundry. She slept in his bedroom. She shared his bathroom. From the outside, they looked like a cute married couple. However, despite how “married” they looked, they were missing one key ingredient. Vows. Neither was committed long term. Neither was in a covenant with the other. Neither was 100% loyal to the other. Neither feltFull Post

My romantic feelings were intense towards him. I’m typically a clear thinker, but my brain cells had turned instantly cloudy. I had no idea how quickly common sense could abandon my sense of reason. I was in love and on my way to marrying the man of my dreams. During my relationship and “dateship” with Zack (read more on that here), I experienced emotions, desires, urges, and temptations like I had never experienced before. I never knew how intense my desire for physical touch was until I was in a relationship with a guy that I really wanted to touch. I longed for physical contact. I longed to beFull Post

I (Bethany) was chatting with my small group leader one night after Bible study. She is in a relationship getting to know a very godly man and of course I was curious to know the scoop. Time cut us short and we weren’t able to finish our conversation. Later that evening she sent me an email giving me more details and attached this list of 10 things she’s learning through her current relationship. I loved the wisdom that she offered in her ten points and I just couldn’t keep it to myself. I asked her if I could post the list as a blog and to my delight sheFull Post

Christian guys and non-christian guys seem to be in agreement on one thing: qualities they do not find attractive in girls. Over the years in talking to my dad, brothers, guy friends and acquaintances, I’ve learned that there are certain qualities that guys do not find attractive or appealing in girls/women. I wanted to confirm what I’ve heard over the years, so I went to the internet and did loads of research. I scoured blog after blog after blog and what I found seemed to perfectly line up with what I’ve heard in the past. Christian guys and non-christian guys tend to agree on the qualities they find unattractiveFull Post

She was thirteen years old when she was noticed for the first time by a guy. Butterflies swarmed inside of her making her feel as if she was the most special thing in the world. She felt beautiful for the first time in her life, because no one had ever treated her like Austin did. Her parents were very Godly people and always tried their best to raise their kids the right way. However, they came from a worldly background before they came to know the Lord, so they were well aware of what the world and Satan had to offer for their children. Her parents warned her ofFull Post

Before I got married, I remember people telling me things like, “Marriage is awesome, but it’s also a lot of work.” Or, “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but you’ll be challenged like never before.” Or, “Getting married is the most amazing thing on earth, but…you’ll also uncover new levels of selfishness in your heart that you didn’t know existed.” Well…as I look back on the past 4 years of my marriage to Zack, I realize that all of those statements are correct. Marriage is an incredible blessing from God, but it’s also one of the most “sanctifying” experiences I’ve ever had in my life. If there’s anything I’ve learnedFull Post

A few years ago I attended a Christian singles dinner/conference and noticed a disturbing trend. Guys congregated on one half of the room and the girls socialized on the other. This was a “singles” event and the guys and girls literally were not speaking to one another…minus a few exceptions. After a few minutes of “guys on one half and girls on the other,” the speaker asked everyone to find a seat. As I sat down at a table, I looked around me and noticed something just plain ridiculous. Nearly every girl attending the conference huddled together and congregated at the same tables. Minus a small handful of braveFull Post

I sat on my bed, the tears flowing. I’d done it again, interacted with a nice guy and wondered if it was “him.” I got home and realized how incredibly ridiculous I had been. I felt like an utter failure at this being “content in the single years” thing. A failure at keeping my focus where it belonged. This could have been true of me two years ago or two months ago. Hello, my name is Moriah, I live in Illinois where it’s sometimes too cold and sometimes too hot. I have a wonderful family, a great church, and delightful friends. There are a lot of things that contributeFull Post

If you’re like some girls I know, you think chivalry has gone extinct. Or at least is in hibernation. Even as a guy, I look around and see so few men being courteous to women. It’s surprising (not to mention embarrassing). I am constantly asking myself “Is chivalry dead?” Let me be honest: I don’t think it is. I see examples of it in men all around me. It’s just not as common as it used to be. Noah Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines “chivalry” as “the system of knighthood; the privileges, characteristics or manners of knights; the practice of knight errantry [if you’re wondering what “errantry” means, it wasFull Post

I’ve been thinking about this specific blog post for the past two weeks. When I first thought of the title I was excited and ready to write. And then I realized that this isn’t just a normal (1. opening story 2. helpful advice 3. ending questions) blog post. This is a blog post that requires me to be totally down-to-earth and honest. It’s a time for me to open up my heart and be as truthful as I possibly can. I want you to know that I’m just a regular girl, with regular struggles, and regular fears. My life is far from perfect and I am far from perfect.Full Post

“Guys are stupid.” “Girls are smarter.” “Girls are better than boys.” “Guys don’t know anything.” “Guys don’t have common sense.” These are some of the statements Bethany and I heard again and again from the girls we interviewed during our GirlDefined video (watch here). Our poor brother was behind the camera and later commented on how negative the comments had been. The theme was obvious. The average girl doesn’t view the average guy in very high regard. The “girls rule and boys drool” chant has traveled far beyond the playground. Our society as a whole portrays the average male as nothing more than a stupid, helpless, good-for-nothing slob. AlthoughFull Post

It happened twice in one week. I went out to coffee with two different friends, two separate times, both in the same week. Like any normal girls, we talked about the latest “guy updates” in our lives. Here is how our conversation went. Friend: “Soooo, any guy updates in your life?” Me: “Not really any major updates, but there is one guy I’d love to spend some more time with. Friend: “Oh my goodness . . . is he cute?” Me: “Well . . . yeah, I think he is.” Friend: “What does he look like? Do you have a picture?” Do you see what happened in that conversation? MyFull Post

It was one of those winter days where you’re never quite warm enough, unless you’re curled up in a big bed with a soft blanket and a good book. I didn’t have anything else to do, so I pulled the covers all around me, and instead of a book, I chose my journal. I had been thinking a lot about character qualities that I would look for in a future husband, so I chose that as my topic, and began writing. In a sense, I was writing out my “husband wish list.” As I wrote, a realization struck me, and the words of a sermon by Andy Stanley cameFull Post

I scoured the local department stores hoping to find something to wear to prom. I was sixteen years old and was about to experience my first and last prom. Like any normal girl, I wanted to look my absolute best. I wanted feel and look like a princess. After days of endless searching, I decided that the words modesty, tall, and prom did not exist in the same category. I talked with my mom and she kindly took on the task of sewing me a floor length, red silk dress. The day of prom finally arrived. I was so excited. This was something I hoped I would get toFull Post

“Do you think there is a difference between chasing a boy and maturely showing interest in one?” -Rachel This question popped up after we posted a popular article called “When Girls Chase Boys They Don’t Get What They Want.” If you haven’t read it yet, you should! Check it out here, then come back and finish this blog. Back to Rachel. She asks a great question. I used to wrestle with this question myself. In fact, the conclusion I came to was instrumental during my early relationship with Zack. Is it possible to maturely initiate interest in a guy? Well, it depends on what we mean by the wordFull Post

It was a hot, Texas day about eight summers ago when I had a huge revelation about guys. I was with my team of twelve, six guys and six girls, preparing for a national sporting competition. After one of our many practices under the boiling sun, our coach suggested that we take turns offering up words of encouragement to each other. I guess it was supposed to be a team building activity of sorts. To say the least, I wasn’t really excited about this time of “sharing.” Typically, they contain awkward moments of silence with lots of crickets chirping. But, I didn’t really have a choice in the matter.Full Post

I was driving down the highway. Music off. Brain on. Thinking about my life. With talk of Valentine’s in the air, my thoughts drifted toward my future. The simple idea of my future husband being alive and breathing, made me excited. Wow! My future husband is alive, breathing and living life. That’s cool. And then it hit me. If it’s God’s will for me to get married, my future husband is a real living guy. Not just an imaginary person. One day I will meet him, marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. When I think about my future in such an incredibly realistic way,Full Post

I was at a major league baseball game recently with my grandparents when the strangest thing happened. As the game reached the ninth inning, an entire flock of teen and college age girls began swarming towards my section. They quickly formed a line right across the aisle from where I was sitting. Apparently they were lining up to get photos with some guy. I couldn’t figure out what was so special about this guy, so I asked one of the girls rushing past. She looked at me in slight shock and said. “It’s Juan Pablo Galavis!” I stared blankly back. “Who’s that?” I asked. She looked even more shocked. “He’sFull Post

The month of love. The month of romance. The month of roses, chocolates and romantic candlelit dinners. February is known for loading the stores with speciality gifts, beautiful bouquets and heart melting cards. Red, pink and hearts fill the aisles reminding us that it’s almost Valentine’s Day!!! What a fun holiday…if you have a guy! For the rest of us, Valentine’s Day is known as none other than, “Singles Awareness Day.” The day we are confronted with the fact that we are still single. Instead of enjoying the month of February, we, as singles, dread it. We dread the flowers. Dread all the romance in the air. Dread allFull Post

“Hey, my friend wanted me to tell you that he thinks you’re pretty.” This young whippersnapper pointed across the basketball gym towards his friend. I glanced across the gym and noticed a good looking guy sitting on the second row. “Oh really?” I said raising my eyebrows. “Well, then tell your friend to come tell me that himself.” I smiled. The guy shook his head in acknowledgment and ran off. Later that day, the “real guy” did come talk to me. He didn’t tell me I was pretty to my face, but he did strike up a conversation. We had a fun “teenager-style” chat and I walked away withFull Post

“Bethany, you’ve got to come to Bible study with me. I met this super cool guy and I think he might ask me out soon!!! Oh, and his best friend is awesome too. Maybe you could get to know him *wink wink*.” I was nineteen years old, carefree and enjoying my post high school freedom. A serious relationship wasn’t really on my mind at this point. I wasn’t interested in going to meet a guy for me, but, decided to go for my friend. If one of my close girl friends was interested in a guy, I wanted to see what the dude was all about. First Serious LoveFull Post

Me: “Sooooo any new guy prospects in your life?” Kelly: “Nope, none in mine. What about you?” Me: “Are you kidding? I’m just as single as ever!” Kelly: “Well, at least we have each other.” Me: “No kidding. I’m glad I’m not the only single girl in town.” That is a typical conversation between me and my friend Kelly. We are both in our mid twenties and *I don’t want to say this* still single. Kelly and I have known each other for nearly our entire lives. Neither one of us would have ever guessed that we would both be in our mid twenties and still single. I alwaysFull Post

“So..hey…can I have your phone number?” He asked me smoothly. I pretended not to notice his chuckling friends in the background. There was no way in the world I was giving this guy my phone number. For one, I just met him. Two, I was only sixteen. Three, he wasn’t the type of guy I wanted to stay in “touch” with anyways. If you catch my drift. So, I did what any good Christian girl would do. I decided to play a little joke on him. “Yeah…I’ll give you my phone number” I replied. “But you’ll have to ask my dad for it.” Okay – the chances of this guyFull Post

I am going to do something that I’ve never done in a blog post before. I’m going to open up my journal and share some completely personal things that I wrote down this past week. Here’s the deal, last week I was sitting on my bed praying for different members in my family, for the GirlDefined Ministry and then, for my future husband. As I was praying for my future husband, my mind started working and I began truly thinking about what I was praying for. I wondered…am I praying for JUST a husband or am I praying for something more? Do I JUST want to get married andFull Post

I recently did an interview on the topic of dating, marriage and courtship. I was giving my thoughts on romance, boundaries, guys and how I want my future relationship to work out. One of the questions the lady interviewing me asked was “what qualities are you looking for in guy?” Talk about a super basic question that I should easily know the answer to. Wrong! I was totally caught off guard and had to scramble to give an answer. It had been awhile since I’d seriously thought through that question and wasn’t really prepared. After the interview I rethought through her question and was pretty satisfied with my “on the spot”Full Post

Interacting with guys on a regular basis is a normal part of life. Some girls go out of their way to make sure they get plenty of guy time in their life, while other girls awkwardly avoid contact with guys. Whether you feel natural and comfortable around guys or not, you need to learn what the right and biblical way to treat them is. I love what Leslie Ludy says about this topic, “It’s not more spiritual to act shy and insecure in a conversation with a guy. You can be friendly, outgoing, and confident toward any guy you meet. The key is to be God-honoring in the wayFull Post

*Disclaimer: To those of you who hate and fear bugs, please brave your fear and continue reading. Lucy the ladybug has a pretty good life. Lots to eat, wings she can use to fly, and a colorful outfit to boot. But one day Lucy sees Doris the doodlebug. Doris’s whole life is a party – lots of friends, great food, surrounded by guy doodlebugs, and wearing the newest style. Doris is living the dream. Lucy envies Doris. Pretty soon she starts using the words Doris uses, crawling like Doris, and eating the same things as Doris. But no matter how hard Lucy tries, she still sticks out like aFull Post

Boy meets girl, they “fall in love,” they jump in bed together, and then grow up and move miles apart. Unfortunately, the story doesn’t end there. If having sex before marriage wasn’t bad enough, this pair of high school sweethearts return to their hometown many years later and decide to hook up again. There’s a catch though. She now has a husband. Instead of remaining faithful to her husband and family, she believes “fate” is reuniting her with her former beau. Instead of telling him, “Sorry, I’m married and can’t go out with you anymore,” she jumps at the chance to rekindle an old flame. In dazzling lights andFull Post

Does boy craziness seem so . . . junior high? You might be surprised. Take the Boy-Crazy Quiz to find out where your focus is. Simply answer yes or no to the following fourteen questions. I’m going to make a quick cup of chai while you’re working on it. See you in a few! In a room full of people, do you always know where “he” is? (yes/no) Are boys your number-one favorite topic of conversation with your friends? (yes/no) Do you often dress to catch a guy’s attention? (yes/no) Do you replace one crush with another almost as soon as you realize the first relationship is not going anywhere?Full Post

It seems like every girl has questions in the back of her mind that she just wishes she could ask a godly guy. Questions that would give her as close to a “guy’s perspective on life” as she could get. We are so glad to inform you that this post is exactly that! We had the opportunity to have three young ladies brainstorm and come up with a few questions that they would ask a guy, if given the opportunity. Their questions are in bold below. We took those questions and sent them on over to our guy blogger, Beecher, and had him answer the questions from his perspective.Full Post

Lori tossed her books onto her nightstand and then threw herself onto her bed. She began sobbing into her pillow. God had finally blessed her with an amazing man in her life and things were going great between them. She just couldn’t understand why she felt so scared and so upset. Lori had thought that once she began a relationship with someone it would be fun and all of her problems would go away! So why was Lori so out of whack and emotional? Because things were changing. Life couldn’t be the same way that it had always been for Lori and that thought scared her. Flashes of doubt,Full Post

School is starting and that means college will be commencing soon too. All of your friends are going off to college and you feel left out, shied into a corner and stuffed into a box with the rest of your homeschooled friends. What’s worse is that maybe you’re old enough to have a boyfriend now and it seems like all of your friends have either been in a relationship or they are in one now. You’re the odd ball out on this one too. Boys seem like uncharted territory to you. You wish you could crawl up into your bed, pull the covers over your head and just waitFull Post

Guys are watching. It was a hot Texas day about eight summers ago when I had a huge revelation about guys. I was with my team of twelve, six guys and six girls, preparing for a national sporting competition. After one of our many practices under the boiling sun, our coach suggested that we take turns offering up words of encouragement to each other. I guess it was supposed to be a team building activity of sorts. To say the least, I wasn’t really excited about this time of “sharing.” Typically, they contain awkward-moments-of-silence with lots of *crickets chirping.* But, I didn’t really have a choice in the matter.Full Post

It’s 7:00pm and the varsity guy’s basketball team is running onto the court. I have a front row seat in the bleachers when I set eyes on him. Tall, blue eyes, good-looking, extremely athletic – how was a girl supposed to resist crushing on this guy?? Our eyes met during the game while he was shooting free throws (and I was sitting strategically behind the goal). Sparks flew. He slipped a dozen more glances at me throughout the game and I was toast. He casually made his way over to me after the game and introduced himself. We chatted for a few minutes before his coach called him awayFull Post

In today’s culture modesty is totally out of style. The phrase that I’d say best describes the current trend would be “less is more – show your skin.” Skin is everywhere: billboards, magazines, social media – everyone everywhere seems to be attempting to show off as much skin as possible and draw as much attention to themselves as they can. The American culture is constantly putting the *wrong* message into girls’ heads. “If you don’t flaunt what you’ve got, guys are going to pass you over and move on to the skin-revealing, midriff-baring, hottie.” You probably already know this, but I’ll say it anyways: Guys are extremely visual. IFull Post

Where it all began. I was in sixth grade and knew exactly how to work it. Every girl at church camp liked the same guy and I was determined to get his attention. He was cute, popular and I wanted nothing less than for him to like me. I wasn’t interested in a relationship or anything serious because I was only 12 years old. I just liked the way I felt when I had his attention. I clearly remember the situation. We were playing knock out (a basketball game) on the camp sports court. I made my shot and then went in to lure my prey. I ran overFull Post

Click HERE to watch the video. I was one of those high school girls who was all about guys. A day didn’t go by where I wasn’t thinking about one of my crushes. I spent a lot of time flirting with guys, but even more than that I spent countless hours dreaming about them. I clearly remember wondering what certain guys were thinking. Getting inside of a guy’s mind intrigued me and I wanted to know how they thought about girls. Have you ever wanted to know that? Well, several years later my wishes became reality. I got married! Ever since then I’ve had a front row seat into the mindFull Post

I was recently in a very serious relationship with a young man, praying over the possibility of getting married. After long hours of praying, fasting, and more praying, God made His will known. Although the answer wasn’t what I had originally hoped for, I surrendered my dreams of marriage to God and ended the relationship. Letting go of the guy wasn’t easy. If you have ever been in a break-up, ended courtship, broken engagement, etc., you know just how hard ending a relationship can be. When I started this relationship, I wanted to get married very badly and didn’t want anyone or anything to get in my way. Thankfully,Full Post

The girls in the audience sat on the edges of their seats as they watched the video play. The speaker had recorded several different godly guys sharing their personal thoughts and opinions on the topic of modesty. The guys were asked very specific questions about modesty and then the recording was replayed on the big screen for the girls. One question was asked, “When a girl shows midriff is that a temptation for you as a guy? Why or why not?” The girls in the audience were shocked to hear the responses from the guys. The girls had no idea that the clothes they wear could be such aFull Post

I’m just going to be honest from the get-go. I’m twenty-five years old, I’ve been in two serious relationships, and I’ve never kissed a guy. It’s not because I think kissing is gross, or that I’ve never wanted to kiss. The fact is, I’m saving my very first kiss for my future husband on the day of our wedding. Kissing is totally the norm. In a day and age where kissing is the norm for elementary schoolers and losing your virginity in, or by high school is expected, it seems absurd and ridiculous that anyone would possibly save their first kiss for marriage. I’m totally aware of the factFull Post

Jason grabbed a cup of coffee on the way out the door. It was summer and that meant working like crazy before the college season hit. Jason started the engine and then realized he hadn’t spent any time praying or reading God’s Word. He sat in the car for a few minutes, opened up his daily devotional app on his cell phone and read the verse of the day. “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10). Jason closed his eyes and asked God to give him the strength to guard his mind and live a pure life. He putFull Post

You’ve heard the question asked. Your brothers, your friends, and your cousins have all had this question posed to them (or will eventually). It sometimes causes a sudden shuffling of the feet and anxious stares out the window. It’s the question which will never get exactly the same response: “What are you looking for in a wife?” If you feel like the answers could be limitless… join the club! There are some obvious answers (especially for a Christian guy) like, “I want her to love the Lord with all her heart,” “I want her to be a Proverbs 31 woman” and on down the line. But today I wantFull Post

In 2010 five young guys stepped onto the music scene and stole the hearts of millions of teenage girls worldwide. They went from being five nobodies, to claiming international fame within months. How did they do this? By simply appealing to every girls heartfelt longing – to be called beautiful. Girls swarmed by the thousands to their concerts to hear them passionately sing to them about just that. This famous boy-band from England broke international records with their debut single, What Makes You Beautiful. Yes, you called it. I’m talking about the band One Direction. Don’t get confused though, these aren’t the guys who value modesty. We’re about toFull Post

Many of my girl friends are in mourning. They talk about their loss a TON (though they don’t go around dressed in black). In fact, we all talk about the loss. The reason for their mourning is simple: It’s the demise of manhood. I don’t blame them. Where have the men gone? Are they under a rock?! (I’m a guy – I can say that.) When I go out to eat and there is a girl in the group, I don’t see many guys opening doors (actually, they do open the door. Then they let it slam on their female companion). I don’t see many guys giving up theirFull Post

“He’s one of the cutest guys I know! I seriously have a major crush on him.” It was 3 am and the conversation was just getting good. “Yeah, Caleb is good looking alright, but his older brother, Josh, has him totally beat!” We giggled like little girls. “Would you marry Josh if you could?” I asked my friend with a wink. Without hesitation her words bursted out, “In a heartbeat! I would marry that guy tomorrow if he asked me. He’s perfect!” This was me at fourteen years old pulling an all-nighter with one of my good friends. Like most girls, we loved talking about our latest crushes andFull Post

I love road trips. Especially road trips with super fun people like my husband, Zack, and my awesome siblings. Several weeks ago I ventured with those people on a road trip to my 3rd favorite state, Colorado (Texas and Alaska ranking higher, respectively). The entire trip was great until the last leg on the way back home. Zack brought up a topic that instantly sparked some heated discussion between the five of us. As the conversation progressed, sides began to form, leaving it 3 against 2. I ended up agreeing and siding with one other person (and it wasn’t Zack) as we unashamedly voiced our opinions. The conversation wasn’tFull Post

This is part two in a series. Check out part one here if you missed it. So what’s the solution? Actually, the real question should be “is there even a solution?” And my answer is yes. But before you come to the solution, you must be resolved to do what it takes to reclaim true manhood. There’s nothing easy about becoming a real man in today’s world. You’ll be flying in the face of everyone and, very likely, everything you’ve been taught. But your quest will be worth it. And once you begin your journey to being a real man, you’ll realize that sacrifices, pain, hard work, and theFull Post

I’m sick of the grocery store parking lot. Nope, it’s not because I seem to be there all the time picking something up (I’m a guy, and the grocery store is full of food. That’s a winning situation right there). The reason I’m sick of the grocery store parking lot is because it’s a showcase for the lack of true men in our world today. I realize beginning a blog post in the parking lot of the grocery store is a little unusual. But as I’ve been stewing on this issue lately, it seemed a good place to start. You see, as I’ve been in the parking lot, theFull Post

I was a sophomore in high school and had just finished playing in the semi-finals for a big basketball tournament. As my team and I were sitting in the bleachers scouting out our championship game competition, one of the high school guys teams came and sat right behind us. It just so happened that they quickly struck up a conversation and went on to introduce themselves. It didn’t take long for my ears to tune in to their major language problem. Their English was fine but their choice of words was borderline sailor language. Being the outgoing girl on my team, I turned around and looked at the leaderFull Post

“God, I don’t understand why my parents got divorced.” “God, I don’t understand why I’m still single.” “God, I don’t understand why we had to move across the country.” “God, I don’t understand why my parents have such strict rules for me.” “God, I don’t understand why my family is on such a tight budget.” I vividly remember a time in my life when I had my very own “I don’t understand why” moment. I was nineteen going on twenty when God allowed a guy to enter the scene of my life. I met this guy (let’s call him Nate) at my church’s young adult Bible study. Slowly butFull Post

It’s Valentine’s Day and romance is in the air. If you had asked me when I was twelve years old what I would be doing at twenty-four years old, I would have never said, “still single.” As a little girl I thought that meeting prince charming, falling in love, and living happily ever after was (basically) the entire point of being a woman. In my little girl mind, not being married by at least age 19 would have been in a disaster. Could there be more to life than romance? As the years have passed, I’ve spent countless hours reading and studying God’s plan for this season of myFull Post

Hollywood has been cramming lies down our throats for a long time. It’s time we stood up and said, “no more!” I am personally sick of the self-centered, sex-crazy, girl obsessed guys that Hollywood offers me. I often wonder why we as young women are accepting this low standard of masculinity. Is there anything else out there besides the Hollywood male? Do mighty warriors and honorable gentleman still exist? In the very beginning God created Adam to work in the garden. He tended the garden and animals by providing for the basic needs of his home. God then gave him a beautiful woman to be his helper. He wasFull Post

It had been a while since my friend Lacy and I had gone out to dinner. We picked a nice sit down restaurant and started our meal with a mouth watering appetizer. Our conversation quickly turned to our personal lives and what had been going on over the past couple of weeks. Lacy started sharing with me the struggle she was having treating a guy friend with too much attention and was concerned about their friendship. She was having one of those “he’s just like a brother” moments. Lacy and I both admitted that a guy friend is different than a girl friend no matter what we say. LookingFull Post

Have you ever had one of those AH-HA moments in your life? I had one of those last week as I was talking to a friend about her recent broken engagement. She shared her heartache with me, but also the hope of knowing that God is sovereign and He does have a plan for her life. God knew her engagement would be broken and still allowed her to go through it for a very specific reason. Although she may not understand why, she is choosing to trust God and praise Him through this storm. She went on to explain to me how she is grateful that God is givingFull Post

“I am just not attracted to him…” Have you ever said those words about a guy before? Do you know a guy who is really awesome in every way (he loves the Lord, is Godly, kind, desires to grow, etc.), but you are just not attracted to his outward appearance? I have been there and know exactly what that feels like. Over the past few months God has been teaching me some “hard truths” about the reality of my own heart and motives in the way I view certain guys. I want to share with you what the word “attraction” has meant to me in the past and whatFull Post

Our culture teaches us that men with six packs, muscular arms, and tan abs are the sexy ones. It’s becoming more common to find movies with a young male actor on the screen who is constantly taking off his shirt and displaying his abs for everyone. I was actually convicted about this on a personal level last year. I was engaged to a wonderful and godly man named Zack (whom I am now married to), and our wedding day was only three months away. Out of desperation to get fit before my big day, I purchased an intense workout video serious. After watching about thirty seconds of the firstFull Post

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ABOUT US

Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird are sisters, lifelong friends, and the founders of GirlDefined Ministries. These Texas gals are passionate about God's beautiful design for womanhood and love sharing this message through blogging, speaking, and mentoring young women. LEARN MORE