And we're off to the races (places, ready, set, the gate is down and we're goin' in)

Skipped the Emmys this year because blergh. However, despite being a week late on this, I want to stop and congratulate Glee on its two (and only two, that I will acknowledge*) very appropriate wins at the Tubey Awards:

Worst Crime Against Fashion: Kurt's midriff-baring, one-[sleeve] poncho sweater thing(Me: GODDAMN RIGHT IT IS. Legit offensive in its ugliness. Looking at a sweater should not make me this angry.)ANDBest Couple: Kurt and Blaine

TAKE THAT, UNIVERSE. Best couple, of all the couples. These awards are totally credible when I agree with them.

* Quinn/Rachel is tentatively allowed to win Best HoYay Couple just because pictures including the two of them are adorable by default.------------------I got around to watching some television that required brainpower! Not much, but enough for me to right correctly write 2 or 3 paragraphs on each one. I'm easing my way back to the review waters:

How I Met Your Mother was light, cute, sweet, and did not significantly anger me in any way, so that was nice.I really got a kick out of all the Ted/Victoria/Klaus stuff. Couldn't decide if I wanted to just actively kick Ted in the end when he realized Victoria wasn't going to be The One, but at least we found out he isn't ruining her marriage for no good reason like he ruined Zoey's. I'll have to scrap those PhotoShop plans I had for "Ted Mosby: Marriage Crasher."

(*even though I am, like, 99% over Barney/Robin and couldn't even muster up an 'awww,' I just wanted them to quit whining about how their seven weeks of dating were Obviously The Greatest Love Story Ever Told, because season 4 set it up that way, but turns out we were all severely mistaken. The writers have successfully worn out and broken my shipping spirit. There's a chance they could turn it around, but there's also a chance it could turn out like whenever I turn on a Scrubs rerun and find out JD/Elliot is front and center again, which results in an UGH, NOT THIS CRAP, BYE.)------------New show Partners looks about 90% less obnoxious than The New Normal, especially after I verified that David Krumholtz is playing a straight character, but there was also nothing that made me feel like I should give it a chance. In the two minutes of it I saw while waiting for the next show to start.------------2 Broke Girls was also light, fairly cute, and fairly sweet (even though holy crap, I cannot even imagine how traumatizing it would be to have your family things - things you think of as yours - sold in front of your eyes. Never mind things that are actually yours; why was one of Caroline's trophies even in the mix? And if it wasn't that valuable, wouldn't it have been sold as part of a box lot? Expensive estates still sell box lots, right?)

I realized yesterday that moving to 8:00 doesn't just mean hell for me in the timeslot department, it means hell for me because they're allowed to get away with worse stuff. I don't know if it actually got worse in the premiere, because I've finally perfected my screening method for this show's crassness: I shrug off all the gross jokes like a horse absently swatting flies with its tail, and barely notice them.--------Has anyone paid any attention to PBS's "Market Warriors"? At first I assumed they were rerunning it from cable, but apparently it's their own hybrid Antiques Roadshow/reality/game show in which pickers compete to find the most valuable objects at flea markets that will resell for the highest price point at auction.

I didn't think it would appeal to me, considering how bored I got with the content of I Brake For Yard Sales even though I love the Roadshow. But quite by accident I've seen a grand total of 2.5 episodes now, and I can't explain why but it's awesome. I love everybody except the super abrasive moron with badly thinning hair, which is probably important for determining whether you'll enjoy it or not. I love watching them look around the flea markets, even though they go for true antiques and a lot of things that don't interest me much, like furniture/pottery/artwork. And I get such a buzz from seeing how on (or...off) the mark they are when it comes to auction time. Anyway, it airs at 8:00, so after 2 Broke Girls this is what I'm using to fill the empty half hour. The second half's usually more exciting, anyway.------------Revolution is getting the live viewing slot for the time being, mostly because it is a bit tedious with all the fighting and no characters I've gone head over heels for, so there's nothing I want to stop and savor. And yet, I'm really excited to see it every week, and super impatient throughout the commercial breaks? Sort of wish I was marathoning it on DVD, as it seems perfect for that, but of course I am way too interested in the overall arc to stop and wait now.

Plus: OH HEY THERE, ELIZABETH MITCHELL, YOU'RE ALL ALIVE (AND CAPTIVE) IN THE PRESENT DAY. OK, I'm declaring her my favorite now. I can't decide what's more exciting: the flashbacks**, these fantastic-sounding rebels trying to get the United States back, the mystery of the technology in the present day, or finding out what's going on with Elizabeth Mitchell's captivity. I do have the feeling that I'm going to get sadder and sadder about her husband being dead as this goes on, though.

**One thing though: listen, I try not to hate, but I am a tiny bit skeptical that random nuts would start threatening to smash children's faces in over food after one week. Don't you have enough food in your house to last you a week right now, even without the frozen/refrigerated stuff? I don't doubt that people would quickly go nuts and start looting stores out of fear and the general suckiness inherent to mankind, but attempted murder vs. starvation seems like a far leap in short amount of time.------------Survivor premiered season eleventy million (oh, 25? OK, 25's a number cool enough to warrant mention), and for a premiere, it was surprisingly enjoyable. I'm liking Penner as much as last time, I LOVE Russell's happy camera interviews - it's obvious he's really patience-trying when it comes to dealing with him on a day-to-day basis in the game and that he significantly lacks awareness of how others perceive him, but god, he's just so wonderfully SMILEY, and I'm pretty blah about Mike Skupin. I didn't even know what he looked like, and Australia was so long ago that I literally remember nothing about the season except a few flashes of Tina. I don't remember him falling in the fire, I only know about it because it gets referenced so often.

So far RC could not look more plastic if she tried (I am more inclined to believe she plays a sexy investment banker in porn than that she is one in real life), and I'm not liking that whole clique, while Lisa (whom I don't recognize, though I have at least heard of The Facts of Life) seems super nice. I'm happy FrankenZane left first, because it's really hard to look at that much diseased (sorry, tattooed) skin for long without getting grossed out. On the same principle, I need Dana to leave soon, because she looks like Abby in season 3 of Primeval - during that horrible time when she looked like a boy - but with tattoos. On bright side, Malcolm seems like a nice person to watch. So does Jeff, Ball Player.

Hooray for water-inclusive challenges!

EMERGENCY EDIT: Private Practice reaction[spoiler cut for large font sizes ahead]Me 98% of the way through: this is pretty delightful!Me @ end: HOLY *&@# SHOW THAT WAS SUCH A DICK MOVE I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.