Confused? Well welcome to the 209, bitch. It’s a magical place where, should you find yourself fighting for a(n interim) title in MMA’s highest promotion, you will receive such sound corner advice as “That’s the kind of asshole shit he’s got,” “Fuckin’ dick,” and “Condit, you pussy!” But mainly, your teammates/coaches will be relegated to complaining about how slippery your opponent is. Not slippery in the figurative sense — we mean, like, that pussy just got out the pool or some shit. And don’t even get them started on what’ll happen if this fight goes the judges, who are all probably betting against you anyway. But seriously, they put waaay too much water on that motherfucker, man.

We could watch this all day, but we first feel compelled to ask: Nate Diaz vs. Frito in an academic decathalon — who takes it?

Georges St-Pierre’s new book The Way of the Fight is a smashing success as a representation of all of St-Pierre’s ideals, both as a fighter and as a human being. Meshing the genres of biography, philosophy, and self-help, the resulting story yields an enjoyable read that is greater than the sum of its parts. Even more remarkable — the book is devoid of any trace of a bitter or vindictive tone that could taint what is essentially a book about one man overcoming adversity at every turn.

Still, this book is not a comprehensive biography of St-Pierre. As Jacob McArthur Mooney of The National Post notes, “The Way of the Fight is an account of the GSP brand…and the book’s occasional head-feints to the ‘real Georges’ are never more than teases.”

There are critical reasons why any UFC fighter should tread carefully when publishing a book. Look no further than the debacle that ensued between BJ Penn and UFC president Dana White when Penn released his own autobiography Why I Fight in 2010. Or Anderson Silva’s autobiography being pulled off the shelves in Brazil after his former manager Chute Boxe founder Rudimar Fedrigo engaged him in legal action.

But what was so controversial that it was left out of The Way of the Fight? Here’s a primer with four aspects of St-Pierre’s life and career that weren’t touched upon.

PAST MANAGERS

The Way of the Fight is divided into five sections, each focusing on a critical figure in GSP’s development. The last section is called “Conscience” and is centered on Rodolphe Beaulieu, St-Pierre’s current manager, with his other co-manager Philippe Lepage being given a brief mention.

Two names that never come up in this book are Stephane Patry, St-Pierre’s first manager and the promoter of the (now defunct) Quebec-based promotion TKO, and Shari Spencer, St-Pierre’s second manager. Why omit the two most critical people to St-Pierre’s business relationships who played a role in bringing him to superstardom?

Said GSP to YA Magazine of the time period when Patry was managing him, “In my entourage and my management, I got screwed. A lot of people were stealing money from me.”

Right now Nick is retired, unless he gets rematch with Georges St. Pierre or the big Anderson Silva fight. Apparently, if he doesn’t get those, he’s going to remain retired.

As a longtime fan of Diaz (his fighting style, at least), this “news” did not come as a shock to me, but was disappointing to hear nonetheless. Not because it means we won’t be seeing Diaz in the octagon anytime soon, but because this “I won’t play unless you pass me the ball,” retirement-as-a-bargaining-tool mentality represents the straw that has finally broke this camel’s back.

Remember a few weeks ago when Georges St. Pierre’s former manager, Stephane Patry published the UFC welterweight champ’s supposed “secret plan” to retire after a fight with middleweight G.O.A.T. Anderson Silva and then St. Pierre and his head coach Firas Zahabi did a horrible job of lying and totally denied that GSP had made such a plan while focusing so intensely on his coming fight with Nick Diaz? Yeah, well, the ruse is pretty much over now.

Zahabi was on Sherdog Radio recently and spilled the beans on the record regarding tentative possibilities (I know, be still your hearts!) for St. Pierre’s career. After the champ returns from vacation, Zahabi says that the fighter, coach and management will listen to what the UFC wants and discuss their options.

According to the coach, Anderson Silva and number one welterweight contender Johny Hendricks are both possible. “I think Georges would do either fight, to be honest with you,” Zahabi told Sherdog.

Following his unanimous decision loss to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 158, Diaz’s camp first accused Georges St. Pierre’s handwraps of being shady in an effort to demonstrate that Nick Diaz was the victim of a massive conspiracy. That didn’t work, so then a video of the “Canadian loophole” was leaked to prove that the champion was allowed to weigh 0.9 pounds over the 170-pound weight limit. Of course, it turns out that Quebec’s athletic commission has consistently allowed this since UFC 83 in 2008, so that option isn’t nearly as scandalous as it once appeared. Now today, Diaz’s camp accused Quebec’s athletic commission of failing to properly supervise St. Pierre during his post-fight drug test.

But that’s not all. In an email sent to MMAFighting.com, Diaz camp representative Jonathan Tweedale explained that they intend to file a formal complaint regarding the events that took place before and after UFC 158. In this email, not only does Tweedale make it clear that Diaz and company were not impressed by the Quebec commission’s performance, but he goes as far as to write that Nick Diaz deserves a rematch against GSP. Via MMA Fighting:

“The Quebec Commission’s statement is a disappointing admission that the March 16 event was not conducted under the rules applicable to a UFC title fight – or under the rules the fighters contractually agreed to, upon which rules Mr. Diaz was entitled to rely under his bout agreement,” stated Jonathan Tweedale, a Diaz camp representative.

*SPOILER ALERT* Georges St. Pierre is guaranteed to lose his next big fight. He will finally meet an opponent that he can not out-wrestle for 25 minutes and his next foe will be able to trade punches with him at will. GSP will positively get his ass handed to him. Sorry Johny Hendricks, you can stop reading now because this post has nothing to do with you.

“Batroc has no superhuman abilities, but is in peak physical condition in every respect. He is an Olympic-level weightlifter and has extraordinary agility and reflexes. His leg muscles are particularly well developed enabling him to leap great distances equal to an Olympic athlete. He is an expert hand-to-hand combatant and specializes in savate (French-style kickboxing). He is also a skilled military tactician, having formerly been in the French Foreign Legion.

Batroc is also an experienced thief and smuggler, and can speak both French and English. Although, as a mercenary, he does not hesitate to perform any number of criminal acts for his clients, Batroc has, by his own rights, a strong sense of honor, and he will turn against any client whom he feels has unfairly deceived him into committing crimes to which he might not otherwise have agreed.”

So when Georges St. Pierre walked to the cage at UFC 158 wearing a gi depicting the Rising Sun Flag, I was completely indifferent towards it. I saw it as yet another tribute to Japan from the Shidokan Karate blackbelt, and thought nothing else of it.

Earlier today, UFC featherweight contender Chan Sung Jung took to his Facebook page to explain to GSP that his walkout attire was offensive to many Asian fans and urged him not to wear the design anymore. The Korean Zombie’s post makes for a very interesting read, especially if you’re unfamiliar with the history behind the flag. In his own words:

Dear Mr. Georges St. Pierre

Hi, My name is Chan Sung Jung from South Korea. As one of many Koreans who like you as an incredible athlete, I feel like I should tell you that many Korean fans, including myself, were shocked to see you in your gi designed after the Japanese ‘Rising Sun Flag’. For Asians, this flag is a symbol of war crimes, much like the German Hakenkreuzflagge. Did you know that? I hope not.

“He wants to take a couple of months off because his two fights were very close to each other and he wants to enjoy the summer,” Zahabi told TVA Sports. “We haven’t talked to the UFC yet, so we don’t know what their plans are for Georges yet.”

Get comfortable, Johny. You’re about to have some free time on your hands.