➤ The Bowiesconti proxy has spoken: only second-hand interviews from here to eternity

The Bowiesconti proxy: silent pop star plays puppet in the hands of his ventriloquist producer Visconti

❚ SHOCK HORROR REVELATION in today’s Times. David Bowie has been a member of Alcoholics Anonymous though seems to have abstained from drink 23 years ago. This is the bonus ball among many truths we’ve been getting closer to since the star’s 66th birthday comeback bombshell on Tuesday. Another is that he will “never do another interview again” and this itself comes from the mouth of his lifelong 68-year-old friend and producer Tony Visconti who is giving this interview to The Times. Visconti has become Bowie’s Voice on Earth, we’re told. And by the end of the two-page read, we’re so far into Smash Hits territory – Bowie’s fave TV shows are The Office and The Shield – that you’re gritting your teeth at the prospect of another 30 years of interview-by-proxy.

1 – A second Bowie single may be issued before the album The Next Day is released on March 11. And a second album is almost inevitable. “What he wants to do is make records. He does not want to tour,” says his Voice on Earth.

2 – An exclusive list of the 14 album tracks shows all-original material embracing adult themes of “tyrants, spies and soldiers” to reflect Bowie’s recent reading matter, as well as “love in the internet age”. Titles include Dirty Boys (about glam-rockers), Valentine’s Day (about a mass murderer), Set the World on Fire (about an unnamed female nightclub singer) while the track The Next Day is itself a gruesome number in which a man is hung, drawn and quartered in stereo (remember the final scene in Braveheart?) so you might have to look away now and have a lie-down.

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3 – During Bowie’s cocaine-fuelled Berlin years recalled on the new single, Where Are We Now?, his Voice says: “We’d have both been dead if we’d carried on.” Visconti stopped taking coke in 1984. Both men went to AA and we’re invited to deduce that Bowie has passed his 23rd anniversary without a drink, placing his temperance decision at 1989, year of the Tin Machine album, itself an expression of musical regeneration.

4 – Since his heart op in 2004 rumours have circulated that Bowie also has cancer. “They’re categorically not true,” says the Voice. “He is incredibly fit because he takes care of himself. He looks rosy cheeked.”

5 – Big letdown for the gayers: while living in Berlin David and Iggy had separate bedrooms in their seven-room Hauptstrasse apartment. Did their relationship go beyond friendship? “No, absolutely not.” Aw, c’mon. What about the Ziggy years? “I never witnessed him with a boyfriend,” Bowiesconti declares. “He said Ziggy stardust was a persona.”

After slapping us with this big wet fish, perhaps Tony Visconti can rehearse a few laughs for his next major interview as the proxy David Bowie, otherwise Jonathan “The Joker” Ross will hog the limelight as usual.

Will there be another record? “We recorded 29 titles. We have at least four finished songs that could start the next album,” says Visconti. “If all goes well, we will be back in the studio by the end of the year. He’s back. Bowie has found out what he wants to do: he wants to make records. Nothing else.” ”

✱ Get up close and personal with Prince’s life and work at the limited 21-day retrospective My Name Is Prince at the O2 Arena in London for 21 days from 27 October. Tickets are £25 and go on sale Friday 25 Aug at 9am

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NEWS — OLD FACES, NEW MIXES FOR THE 20-TEENS

✱ Catch up with Spandau Ballet’s relaunch at Facebook Live – In September Gary, Steve, Martin and John hosted a screening of the new Through The Barricades documentary then gave a 40-minute interview about their plans . . .Also – Over at SonyLegacyUK they’re collecting stories from Spandau Ballet fans about how the band’s music has soundtracked your life. Email your stories to legacylovestories@gmail.com and the best will be used in their next Love Stories feature. More info here

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✱ Former Animal Nightlife singer and face about town Andy Polaris relived his London life with Gary Crowley on BBC Radio London in August, then on the iPlayer

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✱ FINALLY! What ought to prove the definitive appreciation of the style bible that shaped the 1980s. . . Cultural guru Paul Gorman tells The Story of The Face from the magazine’s launch with £3,500 of Nick Logan’s savings in 1980 to its sale to Emap in 1999, in between “paving the way for the digital delivery of visual culture in the 21st century”. – From Thames & Hudson this November

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✱ Pop Stars in My Pantry is showbiz hack Paul Simper’s memoir of the early days of one of pop’s most successful eras: the 1980s. It’s an account of how a wide-eyed lad landed in London just as the capital’s club scene went into orbit. Available from Amazon, from August 2017… Read an extract here at Shapersofthe80s – Sade’s first foray to New York City

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✱ Ex-Spandau singer Tony Hadley and his band headline the Lost 80s Live tour through Sept 2017… Returning to Blackburn 29 Sept, Chile 4 Nov, later to top the bill at Wembley’s SSE Arena for the Let’s Rock Christmas Retro Show also starring Kim Wilde, Nik Kershaw, Go West, Nick Heyward, T’Pau and others tbc

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✱ Join in the Q&A during An Audience with Martin Kemp who is touring the UK all year: remaining dates include Milton Keynes, Richmond (Yorks), London and Crawley

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✱ Steve Norman Live & Personal will be an intimate encounter including an acoustic performance and a Q&A: two dates at London’s newest Pizza Express Live venue are already sold out. But a third is still booking for Birmingham on 25 November. . . Later Steve shares the stage when Bowie pianist Mike Garson and his band perform Aladdin Sane in its entirety plus a set of Bowie favourites on 28 & 29 November in London and Sheffield

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✱ The original Blitz Club deejay’s first solo album capturing the spirit of 80s electronica, Rusty Egan Presents Welcome to the Dancefloor, was published last year – read a full review of its 14 tracks here at Shapers of the 80s. . . Hear WTTDF via the Mixcloud player. . . Egan also booked for all three Rewinds in July and August. . . Come and listen to Egan telling “the truth” about his colourful past on 6 Dec in An Audience With Rusty at London’s new Pizza Express Live venue

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✱ Matt Bianco’s Mark Reilly and the 8-piece New Cool Collective celebrate their collaboration album The Things You Love with a European tour through the summer – Facebook has Mark’s dates). Bianco’s 1984 album Whose Side Are You On? introduced jazz to a chart scene still dominated by British new wave, ska and punk. Hit singles followed

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✱ Issue 71 of Soul Survivors magazine features George Benson, Larry Mizell, Bez Parkes, Jan Kincaid, Simon Law and all soul music events. Under Fitzroy Facey, the mag celebrated its tenth anniversary with a new compilation on Expansion Records (above).

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