A Brief Conversation About The Marmaduke Trailer

Alex Pappademas: I have a question for you regarding the Marmaduke trailer. What kind of God lets things like that happen? Dan Fierman: An angry God. Or an indifferent God. The jury is out.Alex: I can't help thinking it's because of something I did. Dan: You know who really bears responsibility for this? Bill Murray. Or, rather, Bill Murray (see: Garfield, Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties) convinced people like Owen Wilson that it is OK to do the voice of a old school comics page character. But it is not OK. Not unless you are Bill Murray.Alex: It is never OK. You are soft on crime, like people who defend early Genesis. Dan: Guilty, I guess. Seriously though: OWEN WILSON WHAT ARE YOU DOING?Alex: Did he not do any soul-searching after his brush with suiciding himself? Or, even scarier, is this the end result of that soul-search? YOUR POST-SUICIDE ATTEMPT SOUL SEARCHING RETURNED NO RESULTS. GO CASH THAT MARMADUKE CHECK. Dan: To be fair, it was a big fucking check. That said, is there any doubt that we will be watching Owen Wilson Robin Williams his way through middle age? But for Wes Anderson, here are his last five films: Marley & Me, Drillbit Taylor, A Night at the Museum, You, Me and Dupree, and Cars. All currently playing at the Hell Googleplex.Alex: I forgot about Marley & Me. How did he find a worse movie about a giant housewrecking dog to be in? That is like Halle Berry finding a movie where she plays another, unrelated cat-woman. Not since Kevin Costner followed Waterworld with The Postman, which was basically Landworld—etc etc.Dan: (Nerd sidebar: I think that Waterworld oddly holds up in a not-as-bad-as-you-heard Ishtar kind of way. The Postman is the REAL Costner disaster—short of Dances With Wolves.)Alex: Like I said. Soft on crime. Anyhow, you know how Luke Wilson looks all creepily smug in those cell-phone commercials? I understand now what that face is. It's the moral authority that comes with knowing you can do anything, even those cell-phone commercials, and still be the classier Wilson brother. Dan: Sadly, I think it is time to let go. Owen Wilson will not be killed by Marmaduke. But he's dead to me.