Sunday, 16 November 2014

Agatha Christie was one the world's greatest crime writers. From Miss Marple to Hercule Poirot she created some of the most enduring detective heroes of literature.Far greater than anything she wrote was the story of her own disappearance on December 3rd 1926. This remains the greatest of her mysteries. Many learned books have been written about what may have happened. It is known that her car was found abandoned in Surrey, a county of southern England. Ten days later she was uncovered at an hotel in Harrogate, Yorkshire - a point hundreds of miles to the north. She was staying there in disguise. In the meantime the entire British police service and the general public were looking for her. The first ever aerial search in Britain was carried out over the area where her car had been found.

David Suchet as Hercule Poirot

Photographic evidence that has just come into my possession has revealed the true reason for her disappearance. Only now can I expose the facts. Yes - she had grown a mustache. The date of her disappearance is significant. She had grown her new friend during the month of Movember. At the end of the month her friends and publishers knew that her adoring public would never accept her new persona. In those days sistas had fewer life options. Her marriage was on the rocks and her mustache was her only friend and link to the true love of her life - Hercule Poirot whom she had met on the blank page of life in 1920. It was classic Pygmalion complex. Her mustache was a homage to her famous detective. Rather than lose the mustache, she ran away to Yorkshire. It was one place where she could hope for acceptance.

But why Yorkshire? Come on folks - it's just so obvious my dear Watson. Harrogate was a watering hole of the BrontëSistas, who published their original stories and poems under male pseudonyms. This was a place where scribe-sistas routinely took on the personas of men. It's all so clear when a great detective translates the clues. There will be a meeting of everyone involved in the dining car later but you guys reading this, need not attend.

In the meantime a mysterious thud brought the maid running out into the hall at Calin Towers. Fearing that yet another murdered aristocrat had tumbled down the stairs it was a fantastic surprise to see an Amazon parcel filled with the tactile real book editions of "Let's Hear It For The Boys". Now I can get on up and get out there on the trail. Let's jam a copy under a few noses and see the results. If a picture is worth a thousand words it follows that a few thousand words are gonna be worth a picture with some celeb' who secretly longs to meet me. Schimples.Buy our bloody book etc ....... Emma Thinx: Tall stories show their legs in shorts.