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So Molly went home to Atlanta for Easter (what, is she like religious or something?) which means that I’m in charge of posting the Fridays with Evan questions. Which means that Fridays with Evan are going up late Saturday evening. What? I was busy.
Instead of apologizing for doing these late I’m going to congratulate myself for posting them at all. Hurray for mediocrity.

Claire: What is the difference between whiskey/whisky and why is it called bourbon in Kentucky?

Whiskey comes from Ireland and the U.S.; “Whisky” from everywhere else. If someone tries to sell you Scotch Whiskey, punch that dude out (the only thing that makes it Scotch is that its distilled in Scotland). Bourbon is whiskey that is more than 51% corn, and gets its name from Bourbon County Kentucky.

Molly: Whatever happened to Hilary Duff? This link should provide all the information you require. In short, she got upstaged by her sister in Napoleon Dynamite.

Claire: Is it weird that Dan asked for a pecan pie for his birthday?
No, pecan pie is a common, delicious desert.

Molly: Which Do you think is a more likely to result of our blog: a book or a reality show?
You want a book? I can make you a book real cheap. $20. Just ctrl+c, ctrl+v, two weeks, bada-bing bada-boom, you got yourself a book, all with the nice pictures and the toxic Chinese glue. Did I say toxic? I meant delicious.

If you want a reality show, I’m going to have to call my Strong Island buddy Joey “Numbers” Numbers. He’s got a video camera and a federal arrest record as long as my arm.
….I’d go with book.

Claire: Is it scientifically possible for Mazall to carry three babies at one time: one that’s hers, one that’s Molly’s and one that’s mine? Also, bonus question: who should be the father of the babies?
Sure; all of this “Octomom” hoopla is a natural progression of the advancement of assisted reproduction technology. When your natural fertility starts to decline but you still want to have (a litter of) kids, you’re generally going to have them artificially inseminated and then surgically implanted in your uterus. But because one of the reasons its harder to get pregnant naturally past age 35 or so is that your eggs get, for lack of a better term, stale and gross. Fertilizing the eggs in a Petri dish makes it easier, and because having eggs implanted is expensive and invasive, fertility doctors will usually implant a bunch to improve the odds. In Maz’s case, they would just implant a mix of fertilized eggs from all three of you (though there’s no guarantee that one of each would take).

What’s really going to flip your shit is that you could conceivably do this all with one baby. There have been successful human pregnancies where the resulting child has (technically) two biological mothers. You can take the nucleus out of a fertilized egg and swap it with that of another fertilized egg, and that egg will develop. The child will have mitochondrial DNA from the host egg, and the regular DNA from the donor nucleus. But now (or you know, eventually), it looks like we will be able to turn human stem cells into sperm; we’ve done it with mice. That means that one of you could have some of your cells turned back into stem cells, then turn those cells into sperm, and then fertilize another’s normal egg. Then we swap out of the nucleus of that cell and put it into one of Maz’s eggs, then implant it. ALSO!! Because the surrogate mother does impart epigenetic information on the developing fetus she is carrying, you could get a fourth biological mother in on the action (and if you want to stretch it a bit and count the gene activation shit that happens in early childhood, you could have a fifth mother raise the child, and then you could start a crazy band).

Molly: The Easter bunny is confusing. Do rabbits even lay eggs?
Yes. And no. Rabbits are mammals. While they do produce eggs (see Claire’s previous question), they do not generally leave the body and are neither candy/chocolate filled, nor colored using a seemingly urine-based dye.