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him last night and of his lying cold and dead on the field of battle. There was a bright moonlight then__ last night the moon was a luminous silver shell, with a large fair star by her side__ both wondrously brilliant. Last night too was the anniversary of our Union Party 4 years ago! Oh! Heaven! How changed are we all since that eve of a gay social re-union! To look back is most saddening__ to look forward, even more disheartening for it seems we have nothing now for which to hope. All is to be endured__ nothing of good anticipated. Had I no children to care & educate I could sit down even here if duty bade me stay, and study so to improve myself that I might amount to something after our troubles are ended, that is should we ever see the end of them__ but my concern is for my children. They weigh heavily upon me, oh! so heavily! They are to be fed & clothed & educated, __ and how is it all to be done? I have energy enough but it is frittered away in little matters of every day and every hour__ I have no time, even if I have the heart or power, for any continued work which may one day be of service to me or them. I feel discouraged in every way__ our cause seems sinking day by day, our resources certainly are failing fast, as a family we merely get along,__ as agent for any good anywhere__ we are powerless. Surely it is disheartening__ God help us thro it all. I was reading last night a sketch of the palm groves & sunny skies of Cuba__ oh! how I wished myself there instead of shivering here in this enlightened land of zero, and rapine, and wretched war. To be, where it is as on June days, a luxury merely to live__ where the mere fact of existence is a blessing amid the beauty and the balm. Poor Maggie Tulliver! How I feel for here & with her now! Panting after the beautiful & true, & hungering for the light & bloom of life,__ condemned ever to the hard actualities__ dueling ever under the cloud, and amid sternness & barrenness!

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him last night and of his lying cold and dead on the field of battle. There was a bright moonlight then__ last night the moon was a luminous silver shell, with a large fair star by her side__ both wondrously brilliant. Last night too was the anniversary of our Union Party 4 years ago! Oh! Heaven! How changed are we all since that eve of a gay social re-union! To look back is most saddening__ to look forward, even more disheartening for it seems we have nothing now for which to hope. All is to be endured__ nothing of good anticipated. Had I no children to care & educate I could sit down even here if duty bade me stay, and study so to improve myself that I might amount to something after our troubles are ended, that is should we ever see the end of them__ but my concern is for my children. They weigh heavily upon me, oh! so heavily! They are to be fed & clothed & educated, __ and how is it all to be done? I have energy enough but it is frittered away in little matters of every day and every hour__ I have no time, even if I have the heart or power, for any continued work which may one day be of service to me or them. I feel discouraged in every way__ our cause seems sinking day by day, our resources certainly are failing fast, as a family we merely get along,__ as agent for any good anywhere__ we are powerless. Surely it is disheartening__ God help us thro it all. I was reading last night a sketch of the palm groves & sunny skies of Cuba__ oh! how I wished myself there instead of shivering here in this enlightened land of zero, and rapine, and wretched war. To be, where it is as on June days, a luxury merely to live__ where the mere fact of existence is a blessing amid the beauty and the balm. Poor Maggie Tulliver! How I feel for here & with her now! Panting after the beautiful & true, & hungering for the light & bloom of life,__ condemned ever to the hard actualities__ dueling ever under the cloud, and amid sternness & barrenness!