I called her mother. stupid move, i know. I know she will hate me for it too. I felt like getting an answer might help, maybe closure would come. I feel like crap. I asked the mother is she knew any reason for Dawn's behavior. all i got was:

"what she thought she wanted, she didn't...and she just
decided to be alone. I'll talk to her for you but understand she
doesn't want to date you, so don't call anymore."

it sounds like bad romance novel plotlines. I feel like crap.

I guess I will try to write this letter, and then just feel pain until it stops.