Writing about writing

Posts tagged ‘lost’

It’s now been more than two months since my personal computer crashed. In my very being, I had a bad feeling a few weeks before it happened, but I didn’t want to believe it. My computer was only about three years old, after all. I had started backing up items on my computer, but it always took a long time and/or it was just time-consuming in and of itself as an activity.

The sad truth, though, is that my computer did crash and I have been without one for more than two months.

That’s a bit of a lie. I do have one; I have my son’s old computer, but it is slow, clunky, and simply is not the quality computer I had. It is serviceable, but it is frustrating to work with.

Because of my dead computer, I have felt quite lost for the past two months when it comes to writing. I haven’t written blog posts for any of my blogs since my computer crashed. I used to be on my computer all the time to write in my journal and to work on my Memoir, but I haven’t done any of that since the death of my computer.

When I get on my son’s computer, I get incredibly frustrated with how slow it is as well as how easily it loses internet connection.

I could go on and on about my lack of writing and reasons for it. Anyone who has struggled with writer’s block can understand my frustration. But I have never believed in writer’s block. I have to admit that I simply have not been in the mood to write. If I really wanted to write, I would have found a way, regardless of whether or not I have a good computer to work with.

I once had a little argument with a friend about reading. She said that she simply didn’t have time to read what with her kids, job, housework, church stuff, etc., etc., etc. My response to her at the time was one I have heard my whole life and believe whole-heartedly: “We make the time to do things that we really want to do.” If we want to do something bad enough, we will find a way.

The same goes here. If I had wanted to write bad enough, I would have found a way. I feel guilty for not writing for more than two months, but at the same time, I also feel refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to write “the-great-American-novel.” 😉

I feel as if I should be discouraged or disappointed in myself because of my lack of writing, but I believe that sometimes we have to take a break or we will burn out and end up never getting back to doing what we love. Even things we love doing can become difficult and feel like a chore, especially when we are overwhelmed and have a lot of other things going on.