This approach is not a new set of rules for
good communication.

These are specific practices that interrupt
the habit of seeing other people as either
threats or opportunities.

This new language merely disrupts your old
habits long enough for you to become conscious
of the destructive effect that competition has
on your relationships.

This allows you to shift your attention away
from your imagined fears, and focus instead on
your immediate needs.

- Conscious Communication

Conscious Communication by Miles Sherts

How to Establish Healthy Relationships
and Resolve Conflict Peacefully while Maintaining
Independence

Relationship skills presented in a
clear and detailed format that enables you to:

* Express your feelings and needs more effectively

* Listen to other's feelings and needs with empathy

* Establish and maintain healthy boundaries

* Make cooperative decisions that include
both people's needs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We humans spend a lot of time talking, and
with cell phones and the internet our daily contacts with
each other have exploded. Yet we rarely pay attention to how
we communicate, and all this talk has not improved our
relationships. Many of us don’t know how to share our
feelings and needs without blame, or hear about another
persons’ experience without judgment. And often we leave a
conversation without a deeper sense of understanding or
connection.

While we have made impressive advances in
technology, our way of relating to each other has not changed
much since the Stone Age.

Most of us rely on our instincts of fight or flight when
we feel threatened, even though it is evident that this
approach doesn’t work. From an epidemic of divorce to
perennial wars, conflict continues to destroy our
families, fracture our communities, and undermine our
security. With more than six billion of us on this small
planet, tensions can only increase and our survival now
depends on finding a more effective way to handle our
differences.

Conscious Communication makes a remarkably simple
observation about this seemingly hopeless problem – when
we try to settle disagreements by deciding who is right
and who is wrong, we unknowingly create more conflict.
Instead of resolving issues, this reflex of judging each
other increases opposition and perpetuates struggles
between us that undermine our basic need for connection
and support.

This book offers a new approach which leads to greater
understanding instead of further division. Practical
skills are presented that interrupt our judgments and
encourage emotional honesty and compassion. These basic
relationship tools enable us to stay connected while
recognizing our differences, and see other people as
allies instead of adversaries. As we let go of our impulse
to be “right”, and focus instead on what we need to be
happy, we see how joining with other people can dissolve
our isolation and provide a real sense of belonging and
security.