SAPIOSEXUAL? WTF is it? #TheDarkSideOfBeingSingle

I’ve seen this term on dating apps, the person’s tagline or bio goes something like this: I’m into Sapiosexuals… I’m not here for just a hookup!”

So what’s a Sapio… Urban Dictionary defines it as:

A person who finds intelligence attractive

One who finds the content’s of someone else’s mind to be their most attractive attribute, above and before their physical characteristics. From the Latin root “sapien”, meaning wise. The term is now becoming mainstream with dating apps such as OkCupid and Sapio giving users the ability to define their sexual orientations as “Sapiosexual.”

For many, defining oneself as Sapiosexual is also a statement against the current status quo of hookup culture and superficiality, where looks are prized above all else.

“Give me a deep conversation or a passionate debate over brainless beauty any day. Someone who makes me reconsider my long-held beliefs and challenges my mind is a person I can easily fall for. There is no doubt that I’m a sapiosexual.”

I’m not sure if I would characterize it as a “sexual orientation.” And to find someone ‘sexually attractive’ only because of their noggin…hmmm?

Personally, I think this whole term is far fetched. To go out with someone whom you may think is “Intelligent,” because of his or her profile or profession?

The first question someone commonly asks: what do you do? Or where are you from?

I’ve dated many men who could be considered SapioSexuals due to their profession: Doctors, Lawyers, Professors, Astrophysicist, composers, writers, blah, blah, blah… I can go on forever… and NO… not all of these Sapio’s were interesting!

Just because someone is “smart” and has a large brain, it does not mean they are a good conversationalist or storyteller for that matter? Quite the opposite, especially in this day and age where the art of conversation has shifted to 140-250 characters with emoji’s!

The Astrophysics I dated barely spoke. I was beginning to think he was mute due to his long pauses of silence. Our conversation took a turn when he asked me what time I woke up in the morning for work. He just about fell out of his chair when I said “4 am!” At that time, I had to be at work by 5am. He also, kept obsessing on the fact that I woke up so early and the rest of our date consisted of him interrupting me during conversation saying: “I don’t know how you wake up at 4 am, I’ve never woken up that early!”

On the contrary to this time obsessed Sapio, I dated a double PHD University Professor who was also a musician. He played his guitar for me, read me some of his poems, and yes…. He was an amazing storyteller! Conversations were never ending! To this day we are still friends… us Sapios stick together!

Just like you can’t judge a book by it’s cover, you shouldn’t judge a sapio just by their intellect… they can turn into being an obsessive bore no matter how smart they are! Connection is important in relationships, as well as having stuff in common! Oh, and being an entertaining storyteller is pretty hot too… let’s just hope you’re not bipolar!