Where are the true desktop-replacement / gaming convertibles?

I'm a user of a 3-year-old Sony Vaio F that, while bleeding-edge at the time, shows its age in some increasingly annoying ways: poor Linux driver/kernel support, lack of AES-NI, accelerating obsolescence of its GeForce 330m, etc. But what I absolutely love are its 16.4-inch screen and the fact that it is my one machine, whether I'm running intense spatial statistics in a GIS program, watching a movie, or taking notes into a text file.

In looking out at what might replace it eventually, I have become confused about why the massive shift to convertible touch-screen ultrabooks has not yet produced a single product that simply scales the innovations up or applies them to existing laptops. What I'm talking about is a machine that is more or less just like mine but with a touchscreen that folds/swivels. I have listed some potential reasons below, but none of them seem convincing to me. I would love the Ars community's help in seeing what the real issue is.

Materials limitations: none of the existing methods of folding over or twisting around ultrabook screens allow for affordable components that would be strong enough to do the same thing with a heavier 15-17-inch screen? Seems doubtful, especially given what hardware makers can charge for a gaming-quality desktop-replacement.

Form factor: manufacturers don't think that anyone will want to put a 15-17-inch diagonal device in their lap or take stylus notes on it because of its dimensions? This seems ridiculous given that my supposedly giant 16.4-inch Vaio is essentially the same 3D size as the leatherette A4/8.5x11 paper pad holder that I and everyone else on the planet keep in our laptop bags next to our laptops.

Weight: manufacturers think that ultrabooks' ultrabook-ness is for doing things that involve holding them up all the time with one hand? Firstly, sure, something that weighs 4-8 pounds (2-4ish kilos) is less comfortable to hold than something that weighs a pound. But it's also much more comfortable than having to juggle, carry, and sync two devices, often with two different OSes, rather than just swiveling the screen on the heavy one. Excepting those who have an actual degenerative muscular condition, are serious computer users really focus-group testing as being unable to handle something that is about as hefty as an emaciated socialite's handbag when fully loaded with makeup and chihuahua?

Heat: there is some actual regulatory or legal liability concern about selling something that puts out more than X amount of heat and seems actually intended to be used in a lap sometimes? This also seems like a pretty far-fetched guess, particularly when a simply cover pad, which might be needed anyway depending on the screen conversion trick, should solve a lot of it. Maybe there is some physics problem that requires a fan intake aperture of at least x diameter to cool a gaming laptop, and that turns out to only be possible by an opening on the bottom?

Battery life: manufacturers think that people will hate their convertible desktop-replacement machine if they expect to be able to use it to take notes / do touch stuff all day, and it only actually lasts 2-3 hours? Firstly, this seems like an argument against all high-end notebooks that hasn't stopped tons of high-end notebooks from being sold in the last 10 years. Secondly, a very large percent of the meetings and excursions from AC power that a business or educational user has to deal with aren't more than 3 hours. Thirdly, you can already hot-swap batteries by using hibernate, but if it's really such an issue, I don't see why a manufacturer can't just include a built-in 3-minute battery that allows for true hot-swapping.

Noise: manufacturers think that people only want a tablet function if it can be as unobtrusive as an actual piece of paper? Fan noise might be annoying, but is it really more annoying than the clickity-clack of keyboard typing or the sounds of rage that are emitted from cubicles full of people re-typing all their paper notes?

Waiting for processor innovations in the pipe: manufacturers are holding off because of some imminent development in chipset construction that will allow high-end CPUs/GPUs to use ultrabook levels of power when that's all they need? Obviously, the heat, noise, and battery life issues are all dramatically lessened by having hardware that is better at dealing with being set into truly low-power states. Are there some conversations going on between OEMs and Intel along the lines of "wait until autumn, and we'll deliver something that means your designers won't have to pull their hair out about fan openings and heat buildup while the high-end machine is in a low-power tablet orientation?"

It just seems like there would be a huge population of people like me, who want to use my machine at a conference table, airplane/train seat, reading and taking notes in bed, etc., compared to the number of people whose permanent jobs are census-worker-like, such as inventory takers. And most of those people get cheap pre-loaded custom corporate tablets anyway.

I think you overestimate how many people have needs like you, where you need workstation computing power in a tablet form factor. Most workstation tasks get done in an office, or at most, at home. It would be really hard to fit a 16" on a standard airline tray table, for example. You don't need a monster of a desktop replacement to take notes.

The issue I'm having isn't that I need all the performance of my best machine in order to do those little tasks -- of course I don't need my Vaio F to take notes. The issue is why I would spend hundreds of dollars on a separate machine to take those notes given that I'm already going to have something like a Vaio F either way? Why not just make the screen swivel rather than ask me to buy, maintain, sync, and eventually replace a second device?

The closest thing you'll find is the Razer Edge. It's actually a pretty impressive little beast. http://www.anandtech.com/show/6858/the- ... dge-reviewI'd be down for one if I didn't need more of a productivity tool. For now, I'll just leave the serious gaming to my desktop.

The issue I'm having isn't that I need all the performance of my best machine in order to do those little tasks -- of course I don't need my Vaio F to take notes. The issue is why I would spend hundreds of dollars on a separate machine to take those notes given that I'm already going to have something like a Vaio F either way? Why not just make the screen swivel rather than ask me to buy, maintain, sync, and eventually replace a second device?

Because manufacturers assume that you should be using the right tool for the job. Why swat a fly with a hammer? There are some secondary device options that require no maintenance at all, and automatically sync, like Chromebooks.

It sounds like the question you're asking is more when will desktop replacements start to offer touch screens and fancy hinges. Touch screens are probably coming very soon. Windows 8 has made a big push for putting touch screens on every computer.

Fancy hinges will be a while if at all. First off, most of these new hinge designs are less than a year old. Manufacturers are still experimenting to see what people really like. Second, some of these hinge designs might not work so well with something the size of a desktop replacement. The Yoga's tent mode might not work when the two halves are so unequal in weight. Last, as others have said, the market for this is smaller than you think. The market for desktop replacements is already small. Only a fraction of that market is going to find an awkward, large tablet mode a compelling feature. Most people are happy to have a second device that syncs. Syncing isn't that big a deal with the prevalence of cloud services.

I'm wary of the all-in-ones that put all the weight in the screen because they seem to require lots of stable room to stand them up and then place the keyboard. Notebooks are nice because you can type on the full, hard keyboard in many more situations. Kickstand designs like the triangle behind the surface seem a biti promising, though. Potentially, so does the idea of making the display removable while keeping the guts in the keyboard base (http://liliputing.com/2013/04/apple-pat ... splay.html).

You did ask for 'true desktop replacement'/gaming convertibles. The upcoming Haswell parts should double the GPU, making an Intel integrated Iris GPU about the same as a Radeon 6670 or Geforce GT 640M.