How Many More Nude Selfies Ma’am?

*This post was originally posted 03/10/2015 and later restored, reedited and republished. Read about that here. It may or may not contain original photos used.

I wasn’t going to talk about this because the world has more pressing issues like the possibility of he-who-should-remain-nameless being president! And me figuring out how long I’m going to walk around with a cracked phone only after having it for a month. But I needed content for this week and boredom struck. #bloggerproblems

So yes, I’m talking about Kim and all the other naked girls in the world who post nude selfies accessible to billions of people on the planet with Internet to later whine about being victimized over said nude selfies they, themselves, posted online.

Listen, I’m all about the female empowerment movement and people not telling women and girls how to keep up their appearance. Let the clerk price check your tampons at check out, shave your legs when you want, and burp. But female empowerment is not a dupe to female exploitation.What possessed Kim Kardashian-West to post another nude selfie? Probably the spirit of Yeezus.

I get it. Your body is on point depending on if you’re looking at the glass half full of silicone or half empty. It’s nice. Women are taking your photos to the nearest plastic surgeon wanting to look as good as you and asking their makeup artist to give them the Kim K. contour. Hell even European magazines claimed her lace front cornrows—or as they called it “Boxer Braids”—are trendy; although, she said it was a wig.

But bcause the world is bout tired of Kim’s naked shenanigans breaking the Internet. If we can band together to let Kim know we’re tired of seeing her titts, we can band together and make sure he-who-shall-remain-nameless DOESN’T BECOME PRESIDENT.

Kim was so bothered that not everyone enjoyed seeing her barely covered body for the umpteenth time, she penned an open letter on her website discussing how we the people need to get over the fact that she made a sex tape 13 years ago. No sweetie, YOU need to get over the fact that you made a sex tape, which your mother helped make profitable, 13 years ago. #mommyknowsbest

“I am empowered by my body. I am empowered by my sexuality. I am empowered by feeling comfortable in my skin. I am empowered by showing the world my flaws and not being afraid of what anyone is going to say about me. And I hope that through this platform I have been given, I can encourage the same empowerment for girls and women all over the world.”

Girl…..all you did was stand butt ass naked in a mirror. FOH.

I am empowered by my husband, who is so accepting and supportive and who has given me a newfound confidence in myself. He allows me to be me and loves me unconditionally.

Kanye was borderline obsessed with you; his support and love was inevitable. FOH.

“I feel so lucky to have grown up surrounded by strong, driven, independent women. The life lessons I’ve learned from my sisters, my mother and my grandmother, I will pass along to my daughter. I want her to be proud of who she is. I want her to be comfortable in her body. I don’t want her to grow up in a world where she is made to feel less-than for embracing everything it means to be a woman.”

Fuck. Outta. Heeeeeerrrrrrrre.

“I don’t do drugs, I hardly drink, I’ve never committed a crime—and yet I’m a bad role model for being proud of my body?”

FOH.

But you know what’s more puzzling than Kim posing nude for the umpteenth time and claiming to be liberated? Amber Rose jumping to her defense. See I love me some Muva, but sorry Amber you can sit down too. There’s a difference between a girl being slut shamed until the point she commits suicide or a family relocating because the townsfolk worshipped football more than purity and a 35-year-old woman uploading a risqué photo to get some likes. Kim’s obsession with celebrity and fame skews her perception of reality. Empowerment is different when you’re a millionaire and accessible resources. That type of empowerment is a slice all women cannot and do not have. It’s true you find empowerment in your own way, but let’s not pretend that posing nude is that big of a middle finger when your breast are perky, booty lifted , and a flat stomach.

I get Amber has made herself into some slut shaming activist. She’s also on record admitting that Kim was messing around with Kanye when they were still together and was sending him risqué photos. Mmm, I see the pattern here. You put the woman on blast for being a home wrecker; then, fast forward to the present when you alleged that your ex-boyfriend now her husband maybe likes fingers where the sun don’t shine. Then, she took a selfie with the woman she said cheated with her ex-boyfriend who is now the other woman’s husband right afterwards like you just didn’t call her husband a booty warrior. Now you’re posting some ode to her saying that although you barely know each other you would like for her to come to your next slut walk to discuss being slut shamed after contributing to said shaming of her? Bye Amber. What are y’all going to do, break bread over nudes?

I rather hear Kim open up about how another woman accusing her of adultery affected her womanhood (something outside her control) than opinions about a photo (inside her control). Plus I didn’t see neither one retweeting Monica Lewinsky’s Ted Talk if you really want to show your support for the poster girl of slut shaming.