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The Ricky Gervais Show on XFM, Series 2

Description

Ricky investigates the effects of blunt objects on the skull, Stephen's feelings are hurt and Karl explores his sexuality. NB: The available recording of this show is incomplete: it does not include the link in which Karl originally gives out the Rockbusters clues.

Chapters

#1. I've Done Very Little Preparation - [00:00:00]

Ricky starts off the show with a confession. People listen to the show just for Karl. Ricky's not been on a bus in 12 years and doesn't know what the fare is. A guy on the tube said to Steve that Ricky seems a bit obnoxious.

#2. That Experiment I Was Doing - [00:02:59]

Ricky was hitting Karl on the head with a tin tray. Ricky brings up Time Out magazine and the topic of browsing a telephone directory. There are 42 pages of Macs in the Edinburgh directory according to Karl, who counted while he was bored and finished with the free shortbreads. Ricky and Steve ponder the old caretaker in Karl's head. Karl's got another good monkey story and intros the features to come. Karl can't find anything interesting to teach Ricky about space, because there's nothing there (like the Millenium Dome). Doesn't Ricky want to know how a lung works? Karl knows how a microwave works.

#3. Tell Us About This Monkey, Karl - [00:09:40]

#4. One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater - [00:14:48]

Karl can't remember a song he liked as a kid and listeners call in to sputter out word fragments in assistance. Steve reads off the Rockbusters prizes, inevitably the usual tat which includes an old Only Fools and Horses video, an air guitar compilation, and a Dr Who "Aztecs" episode. Steve looks just like the ideal Dr Who fan.

#5. A Huge Crush on Darius Danesh - [00:21:32]

A woman has called in who thinks Steve is arrogant, but he just thinks he's mean, objectionable, and nasty. Emailers want more White Van Karl but it's too political so Steve has an article from Dear Deidre for Karl. A 42 year old woman feels guilty about having sex with her husband 5x in the last 24 hours whilst being turned on by Darius, as opposed to her husband's new mustache as he thinks it is. Ricky and Steve try to get Karl to say something sexy in case listeners are turned on by him, but he doesn't really do that. Karl's advice is "just treat 'em". Suzanne is bored with her Christmas present. What would Karl do if he were impotent? It wouldn't bother him anymore.

#7. The Doctor Said I Was Gonna Die - [00:33:26]

Karl recounts the tale of eating old donuts and Congress Tarts from the bakery his mam worked at. Everybody at his school used to go there and then spend their dinner money on the arcade. One day he got so sick he had his mam have the doctor come 'round, who said he'd not got long left. Ricky's pretty sure it was sarcasm, but Steve can't believe his mam just let the doctor go after that. The 2nd segment of Colon Then is about a woman whose buttock tumour turned out to be a pork chop.

#8. Mad World Though, Innit! - [00:39:15]

Everyone's getting the last Rockbusters clue (which we haven't heard given out) wrong, so Ricky and Steve make Karl give it out again. It's time for Do We Need 'Em?, today featuring cockroaches with Jessica Marshall, who works in the good museum near Knightsbridge. She disputes most of the information Karl has gathered, namely that they have 18 knees, and that they can hold their breath for 40 minutes, but affirms that they can leave for a week without "an 'ead". Karl needs to use better sources.