A seasoned infertile rambling about the emotional roller coaster of trying to live with Primary Infertility,PCOS,and Male Factor Infertility.

Isaiah 40:31

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall walk and not be weary, they shall run and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Ya'll still with me?

Yeah, I'm still around. Been more of a commenter lately. But I still keep up with mah peeps in blogland. I feel like I am forever linked with the friends that I have met through IF. I just can't stay away! Which, to me, is a good thing. It doesn't particularly mean that I'm "over it". I think I'm "living with it". I am still the scared little girl that first went into the OB's office and fell for the "Oh honey, you just need a little clomid." Yep, thats still me, just... seasoned!
Our Baby Man has recently had a vocabulary explosion! It is truly amazing to watch him see things, feel emotions, and speak words for the very first time. Even when he pitches his little stomping fit because Thomas (you know, the train guy) won't continue to roll down the track and there is entirely too much dialogue in each episode. We've recently started with "What's that"? And I'll say whatever it is. He'll try to repeat what I said. Sometimes, if its not quite right, he'll continue to say it until he gets it JUST RIGHT. I can't imagine a bigger blessing than watching our Baby Man grow.
The hubs and I are doing better. Its so crazy, but there was a funk surrounding my marriage until about 2 months ago. It ALL STEMMED from this darned IF. He had hurt feelings, I had hurt feelings, we didn't deal with it, we just buried it. Well, finally it all came gurgling up until KABOOM! So, we've been working on things here lately. I've been bugging him for a chance a sib for Baby Man. We have 3 frozen tots, and Im getting OLD. He kept making excuses. First it was money. Who EVER has ENOUGH money? Then it was his age, he's nine years older. I bought into that one for awhile, then I was like, Nah... he's fibbing. Then it ENDED UP, he was scared that another baby would break up our marriage. Why you ask? Because we had all these hurt feelings inside from the first go around (5 years of IF) that were still boiling. WOW, that was like pulling teeth. WHY did it have to be so difficult? Well, you see, I'm married to a man. And well, they might as well be a different species.
Me, I'm not 100% gung ho about jumping back into the ole stirrups again. Oh no. I'm not at all ready for all the poking, prodding, legs in the air for extended periods of time. But I am ready to start conversing about it. But, seems as though I've got to work on my marriage for awhile. Which I am content in doing.
There were so many things I was going to do when I had a baby. But they pretty much went out the window when br*ast fee.ding was disastrous, I went back to work, and life happened. But, Im not sad, its just how it worked out. I've finally learned that even though things don't turn out like you plan, its OKAY. I know who's got my back.

I hope its not another 3 months before I post again. But, just checking in and letting ya'll know, I'm still kicking. I am forever grateful for the friendships and camaraderie that I have found through this blog and others. So THANK YOU, if you are still sticking with me!

Hey, I am excited to read through your blog. I AM that little 22 year old girl who goes to the doctor's office and he says, "all you need is a little clomid". I am not nearly as seasoned as you, I still have a lot to learn about PCOS and eventually having a baby. I hope to learn a lot from going through your blog! So thank you.

Our Family

Some day, Some how...

"Before there were more" came about as a title because on the infertility blogs I've read, they have ended up being parents some way (IVF,IUI,Donor Gametes, Adoption, Fostering, etc). I am so thankful to say, we have made it to the "other side". I never will forget how arduous the journey to get here was, and I will never forget my fellow IFers.