Loss my dad to suicide

On March 13, 2018 my dad drove to work and he parked behind the building of his work. Got out and shot himself. When i woke up that morning my dad already had killed himself. Did not know he died three hours later when my brother called me and screamed that my dad had passed.

Evet since then i have felt confused, anxiety, and numbness. I saw him the day before, and i saw a worried look. I told him if he was okay and he said yes. However, his look said otherwise and that look will stick with me for the rest of my life. He was alive, but he was probably thinking about doing it. I never thought he would actually pull through with it. He never exhibited any signs at all. Without any warning, he is gone, but i still feel that he still here. Waiting to come back but deep down inside he will never come back. It sucks.