The thing that gets to me the most is when people seek out my help and then refuse my suggestions to my face without even trying or considering it. Why did you ask me for help in the first place? The most prime example of this phenomenon is the proverbial "How to improve my English?" I tell them again and again, you must practice oral speaking. You can't talk about hobbies and weather forever. You must read a lot. You must seek out impromptu opportunities to practice; you must get to know the culture so you can better understand literature and movies. This is then followed by the "So what do you think about memorizing and reading from the textbook? I do that." I then go over the ineffectiveness of this approach. And what do I get for my "expert advice" that they solicited? A polite "thank you" and their assured affirmation that memorizing the textbook indeed is the superior way and the way they will continue to study. So why did you even ask? In truth, they probably gained more valuable English experience with those moments of candid conversation than an entire weekend alone with their textbook. This of course is just one example.

A lot of people join Peace Corps because they want to make a difference in the world. Admittedly, I had less humanitarian ideals when I signed on. I was more interested in travel, getting ESL experience and making my resume look good. Not to say I didn't have some bleeding-heart ideals, but they weren't at the top of my list. But actually I'm glad that I wasn't more idealistic because it would just be a longer way to fall until I hit reality.

It seems that the volunteers in other countries make more of a difference. They can talk more freely about things, they are more quickly trusted by the natives, and they aren't so limited in their activities. I'm sure though that even in more PC friendly countries, there are still problems.

When we arrived, it seemed that all of us had the idea that we would fill minds with new knowledge and the natives would just absorb everything we had to say like a sponge, and we would do the same and a long-lasting and meaningful cultural exchange would be created. Instead, the only "meaningful cultural exchange" that seems to get absorbed like a sponge are curse words. That goes for the natives and the Americans.

I've been thinking long and hard about how to reach my students and community with important issues. I am aware that a lot of subject matter must be dealt with in a culturally sensitive way in order for it to get understood and accepted, but the more I try, the more I run into roadblocks. Officially China has accepted us as "foreign experts" but I'm not sure why they need us because according to the locals, they have all the knowledge they need and are just fine the way they are, thank you very much. The only subjects I really need to be an expert at are praising everything Chinese, talking about my hobbies and the inevitable singing and dancing that all us yellow-haired monkeys do.

Want to talk about AIDS? China doesn't have an AIDS problem. There are no gay people in China. (I've seriously been told that) Want to talk about gender roles? Mao said women hold up half the sky. Enough said. No problems, Mao has everything under control. I felt that the general consensus when I gave my lectures was, "why are you talking about this? Don't you know everyone here is happy every day? Why don't you just talk about a holiday or something?" Obviously my offering help isn't needed.

The thing that gets to me the most is when people seek out my help and then refuse my suggestions to my face without even trying or considering it. Why did you ask me for help in the first place? The most prime example of this phenomenon is the proverbial "How to improve my English?" I tell them again and again, you must practice oral speaking. You can't talk about hobbies and weather forever. You must read a lot. You must seek out impromptu opportunities to practice; you must get to know the culture so you can better understand literature and movies. This is then followed by the "So what do you think about memorizing and reading from the textbook? I do that." I then go over the ineffectiveness of this approach. And what do I get for my "expert advice" that they solicited? A polite "thank you" and their assured affirmation that memorizing the textbook indeed is the superior way and the way they will continue to study. So why did you even ask? In truth, they probably gained more valuable English experience with those moments of candid conversation than an entire weekend alone with their textbook. This of course is just one example.

Even the few people with whom I am able to have deeper conversation are making me grow weary. We have a lot of cultural differences. I feel that I have honestly tried to approach all of them with an open mind and really try to understand where they are coming from. However I feel with most people when I express a belief or opinion or even a fact that is different than what they "know" about English, America or anything I just simply get dismissed. It's really hard to be friends with someone when they don't actually want to know YOU and accept YOU or value your opinions and beliefs; they just treat you as a walking cultural dictionary - but only one to affirm what they already "know."

I guess I don't understand why I'm here. If they don't want my help, then what is my purpose here? What have I learned in China? According to everyone here, everything is better in China and anything that is not absolutely wonderful can't be fixed by a foreigner, or even admitted to a foreigner that there is a problem (and so the Chinese leave it to themselves to fix their English, which is kind of humorous, in a way). It's a trust thing, left over from the days when the big-nosed people couldn't be trusted, I guess.

At this time in my life, I am reminded of the words of Jesus:

"If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town" - Matthew 10:14

While I am no evangelist, this verse does hold some similarities with my attitude. If nobody is welcoming my words or teaching, then I'm ready to shake the dust off my feet and bail. I don't want to waste my time and hard work making meaningful lessons if they are going to fall on deaf ears. I don't want to make "friends" that don't really want to be my friend. If I can't do my job, why the heck am I here?

I personally know that God has given me a reason and a purpose to be anyplace that I am. I'm just really struggling to find my reason here. My faith is wavering and my morale is waning . . .

For those of you that are they praying kind . . . please pray for me. I think I need it.

All Volunteers Safe in FijiAll Volunteers in Fiji are safe and accounted for. The Peace Corps is monitoring the situation very closely. Volunteers are on standfast but there are no plans for evacuation at this time. Peace Corps is working closely with the US embassy and with host country partners to monitor the situation. Peace Corps is confident that volunteers are not in harm's way. The military seized control of Fiji on December 5 after weeks of threats. Subscribe to our news feed to read the latest breaking news.

Ron Tschetter in Morocco and JordanOn his first official trip since being confirmed as Peace Corps Director, Ron Tschetter (shown at left with PCV Tia Tucker) is on a ten day trip to Morocco and Jordan. Traveling with his wife (Both are RPCVs.), Tschetter met with volunteers in Morocco working in environment, youth development, health, and small business development. He began his trip to Jordan by meeting with His Majesty King Abdullah II and Her Majesty Queen Rania Al Abdullah and discussed expanding the program there in the near future.

Chris Dodd's Vision for the Peace CorpsSenator Chris Dodd (RPCV Dominican Republic) spoke at the ceremony for this year's Shriver Award and elaborated on issues he raised at Ron Tschetter's hearings. Dodd plans to introduce legislation that may include: setting aside a portion of Peace Corps' budget as seed money for demonstration projects and third goal activities (after adjusting the annual budget upward to accommodate the added expense), more volunteer input into Peace Corps operations, removing medical, healthcare and tax impediments that discourage older volunteers, providing more transparency in the medical screening and appeals process, a more comprehensive health safety net for recently-returned volunteers, and authorizing volunteers to accept, under certain circumstances, private donations to support their development projects. He plans to circulate draft legislation for review to members of the Peace Corps community and welcomes RPCV comments.

He served with honorOne year ago, Staff Sgt. Robert J. Paul (RPCV Kenya) carried on an ongoing dialog on this website on the military and the peace corps and his role as a member of a Civil Affairs Team in Iraq and Afghanistan. We have just received a report that Sargeant Paul has been killed by a car bomb in Kabul. Words cannot express our feeling of loss for this tremendous injury to the entire RPCV community. Most of us didn't know him personally but we knew him from his words. Our thoughts go out to his family and friends. He was one of ours and he served with honor.

Peace Corps' Screening and Medical ClearanceThe purpose of Peace Corps' screening and medical clearance process is to ensure safe accommodation for applicants and minimize undue risk exposure for volunteers to allow PCVS to complete their service without compromising their entry health status. To further these goals, PCOL has obtained a copy of the Peace Corps Screening Guidelines Manual through the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) and has posted it in the "Peace Corps Library." Applicants and Medical Professionals (especially those who have already served as volunteers) are urged to review the guidelines and leave their comments and suggestions. Then read the story of one RPCV's journey through medical screening and his suggestions for changes to the process.

The Peace Corps is "fashionable" againThe LA Times says that "the Peace Corps is booming again and "It's hard to know exactly what's behind the resurgence." PCOL Comment: Since the founding of the Peace Corps 45 years ago, Americans have answered Kennedy's call: "Ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man." Over 182,000 have served. Another 200,000 have applied and been unable to serve because of lack of Congressional funding. The Peace Corps has never gone out of fashion. It's Congress that hasn't been keeping pace.

PCOL readership increases 100%Monthly readership on "Peace Corps Online" has increased in the past twelve months to 350,000 visitors - over eleven thousand every day - a 100% increase since this time last year. Thanks again, RPCVs and Friends of the Peace Corps, for making PCOL your source of information for the Peace Corps community. And thanks for supporting the Peace Corps Library and History of the Peace Corps. Stay tuned, the best is yet to come.

History of the Peace CorpsPCOL is proud to announce that Phase One of the "History of the Peace Corps" is now available online. This installment includes over 5,000 pages of primary source documents from the archives of the Peace Corps including every issue of "Peace Corps News," "Peace Corps Times," "Peace Corps Volunteer," "Action Update," and every annual report of the Peace Corps to Congress since 1961. "Ask Not" is an ongoing project. Read how you can help.

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Story Source: Personal Web Site

This story has been posted in the following forums: : Headlines; COS - China; Blogs - China; TEFL

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