Transparent, See-Through Curtains of My Life. LOL, JK!

It was unbelievable, they knew each other for decades, since Kindergarten; Yet, Anne couldn’t hold back. She pounded the desk with her feeble fists, hoping to die. Why hadn’t she felt it at the beginning? Guilt. Three months ago she joined an online dating website, not that she was unsatisfied. It was all for fun. Of course she thought, it’s just a dating site, what can possibly go wrong? But now, crystals trickled down her hazel eyes as she took off her Silver ring and examined it. It glinted in her eyes as memories of Alan rolled past her, playing every second of their marriage like a film reel. The marriage was theirs, and would still be theirs, but she blew it up.

Wailing, Anne clutched her silken hair. She’d been in an affair with Jeremy, who, shifted into their locality a few months ago and found Anne on the dating site, not knowing her marital status. Anne gulped, as she extended her quaking fingers towards the laptop, typing down an apology letter to Jeremy, making an excuse, for not being able to meet him anymore. Any excuse would do, Anne thought, all she wanted was to get rid of him. She completely knew that this email would ruin his life, but it was all for the good. It was the only way to repent. She wished, no, rather she hoped and prayed things would be the same with her and Alan, and that’s when it struck her; Alan didn’t know anything.

Not being rude, she wanted to tell the truth to a confidant, and who could it be better than Alan? They were in the same school since Kindergarten, they went to the same high school, and coincidentally, the same university. A whole year younger than Alan, Anne believed she was born for Alan, and Alan alone. But she had never done this to him.

It was then, that the doorbell rung. Anne couldn’t stand, too petrified that she clung on to her chair. Alan entered in, hanging his maroon raincoat on the stand, revealing his jacket of a peculiar-est shade of wood brown. Lifting his fedora hat, he shot a glance at Anne, rolling an umbrella by his finger.

“Hey, sugar.”

Knowing him inside out, Anne still couldn’t tell what her husband would say, let alone feel, after knowing his own wife cheated on him. She had to try it, tell the truth. It wouldn’t hurt, just a fight here and a fight there, nothing harsh, right?

No. Anne was a pessimist.

“Honey.. I needa’ talk about something..”

Anne’s voice trailed off. She started shaking, and almost collapsed when Alan reached for her, catching her in his arms, just like the day they got married. Anne was Hypoglycemic, never the one who could handle stress and anxiety, anxious of leaving her family, anxious now, confronting Alan.

“I need to tell you something.. I- I didn’t mean it.” She stammered. “I DID NOT F*CKING MEAN IT!” Grabbing Alan’s collar, screaming so loud causing the half filled glass beside their dressing table to fall down, breaking into a million reflections of the twain, majestically entwined in a vortex of love.

Swallowing back her tears, she continued, “I just did it to pass my time, 3 months ago, I hid it all along..”

“Anne.. What are you talking about?” Still confused, Alan couldn’t figure out anything, and had an innocent twinkle in his eyes.

“I cheated.. Jeremy.. And today.. I- I broke up with him and I don’t know how to tell this to you so.. So-” And Anne burst into tears. Tears that poured down her eyes like rainfall. Tears composing all the resentment, the silent moments, the conflicts, the jealousy and all that can make one berserk, if not sent to a mental asylum.

“You were afraid to tell me everything, and kept it a secret because you cared for our relationship, and now you regret ever cheating on me and having an affair with Jeremy through that online dating site?” Alan smirked, standing right there, clutching his wife, who apparently stared in disbelief back at him.

Fall approacheth. Cold winds bloweth. No post in a long time..eth? Being a human being and living on Planet Earth, I am well aware of the four seasons. Look at them from the pessimistic view (that’s how I see this world), and see that there’s a decline of everything. If you’re down, pump up yourself with optimism by looking at it this way, after the demise, there’s always a rise. Another rise. There’s no sunset without a sunrise (If no sun rises how’d it set? I got to knock that in your head too?). Now it’s Autumn’s reign. I don’t know where do you live, but where I live, Autumn is here. The leaves pay the penalty of hanging on the tree too long and they’re dished out by the trees in your backyard. Similarly, my blog that runs on perpetual energy or so since I don’t really fill it up with gas at a station, has died.

There’s not been even a minute-est fraction of my life that I’d love to fill this sweet blog with and had completely expected this- death. This expectation was due to the fact that the Sun has to set. There’s another reality here.. The Sun will rise again, too. I guess now’s the time to revive my blog. I’m talking about tweeting at a large scale.

..Tweet?

No.

Not that tweet.

After a few months, I came up to the conclusion. Blogging is just like the diaries we all write.

There have been many activities in my school this year (emphasis on many), and I wanted to participate in almost all of them, sadly, I couldn’t. Even in a single one. I did try out for the English speech. I thought I was good, I know my speech was good. I did audition for it, and then motions attacked me. Motions, stomach aches plus head aches can really knock a person out of life, and the worse part is that they happen to me simultaneously. I did go for the first two auditions, and sadly on the final one I couldn’t attend school. Sigh. I call it fate. I tried to keep my speech understandable and using easy language, without using any words that might get a person to use a dictionary.

I still have the draft paper though, and sometimes when it’s night I keep reading it, maybe because I’m.. Still depressed about the speech competition ~3 weeks ago? Yeah I guess I’m prone to inferiority complex and depression. Here’s my speech anyways

Respected Elders, and fellow Schoolmates, Assalamu Alaykum! I, Ziad Shafi, am completely in favor of the topic and agree that ‘The World Today Is Driven By Greed And People Only Care For Themselves’. The world today is not the same as it was a decade ago. Now I’m not talking about modernisation and technology, but it’s our attitude and how it’s changing. This change is not positive, rather, one that will lead to the end of humanity. The world we live in today is empowered by greed, and we are slaves of arrogance.

Now in an year like 2010, if someone were to say that they actually cared for others and wanted to make a difference, it’s a straight lie. Greed has shaped humanity in sinister ways. An employee of a firm, for example, would be least bothered about framing his own co-worker just in order to get under the good graces of his boss.

I want you all to close your eyes and imagine.. Let’s go back to 1947. The people there, the people of Pakistan, well they were enthusiastic. They were ready to receive the refugees who, at that time had nothing at all with them; yet were welcomed by warm greetings. How about 1965. Everyone signed up for the military. They really were courageous people. They were ready to lay their lives down for our country’s sake. FOR US.

.. But where is that spirit now? We just want everything we lay our eyes on, and are interested in securing our interests instead of even THINKING about the welfare of others. Why do we turn a blind eye to the people of the flood? The flood victims you see everyday on your televisions, they have nothing with them. Nothing but hope. Hope that we will help them, sadly, half of us didn’t even try to do so.

For the people still oblivious and completely unaffected towards my speech, I have just the perfect proverb for them, that goes..

It’s a mixed feeling. I hate waking up early, but I look forward to waking up to mornings. The reddish-eyed me with the shabby hair can be changed within a few minutes spent in the washroom, but a morning.. It’s always there, and it’s something one never gets bored of. Not me, at least. Having my Islamiat assessment, I woke up ~20 minutes before my daily routine and hiked staircases towards my favorite spot. The chatt or, the roof.

Yawning, stomach growling, bones aching, dragging myself towards a place where not only I can sit, but where even my hair starts blowing and my soul starts applauding- facing the wind. With a sigh, I sat down and started the last minute revisions when I noticed something I hadn’t.

Why hadn’t I?

Abrupt, I turned around and witnessed one that I can proudly call, the best sunrise. Scared to be too late, to miss it all and let the sun vanquish in the clouds, or even dominate the blues that makes you turn your eyes away, I rushed back home and grabbed my camera.

Woke up at 6:30am, went straight to shower, rushed to Masjid-Tooba for the Eid Prayers. Coming back at my roof, I started taking shots. The balloonmen were coming all the way from South, hopes that people will buy some and they could make their day, but what they didn’t know is that balloons have became out of.. Trend. Even for children.

When my school started, I had shortly posted on my blog about me being busy throughout so I could give concentration to my studies. It was true.. temporarily. After the first weeks of school, I was finally back in sync with my previous year’s lessons. Since the job was done, I couldn’t wait to use the computer and come back to blogging, I had all the time in the world to do so until I stumbled upon ‘SIMS 3’. Okay, I didn’t stumble on it, just that I had laid my hands on the CD. I did not expect this though, but I found myself allured to the game that I started spending every second on it, blaming the school for being busy with work.

I must say, the game really IS awesome addictive!

Addiction is bad. Bad bad. Especially for someone like me who looks forward to chatting with everyone and getting along with his friends, games are miserable hindrances that waste the precious time. Trust me, if you find yourself addicted to an offline game, get away. Treat it like the Boogeyman you used to listen about as a kid. During the month of Ramadan, I could conjure myself four hours of free time on which I could freely use the computer, and from those four, half an hour went to facebook and the latter, SIMS3. This addiction took away the time I had to socialize with my old pals (as I’d call them), who, after a week I finally remembered about. I tried catching up to them and was given a cold shoulder.

It hurt, for real.

Once again today I was playing the game and I got a text from a friend of mine, asking if I were free, I replied back with a simple ‘nah, doing Mathematics’. It was only after the next minute I realised there was a revolt inside me for lying to him. It was right then that I made up my mind to actually go out and feel the fresh air (of the internet and chat-o-sphere) rather than being locked up like a geek focusing on the computer about how would his barbie doll would fare this week.

Moral of the article: Never ever get addicted to games. It affects your life.

This is pretty much random for a poem, just literally describing the state of a person, trapped and his wish to be free ^^’

Lost in the darkness of my mind,
The hollow, black feeling, crushing,
Crushing like waves against the rocky shores,
Escaping the confinement, gasping, wanting to be free
Free as the oceans flow, glide through the skies, slicing,
Slicing like birds, floating carelessly, in the blue,
Blue skies.

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The GUY

Welcome to Drops of Ink! I'm Ziad Shafi. Currently 14, this blog is about my literary life in Pakistan and my views on Current Affairs ^^
I love photography, swimming, football and whatever catches my eye, including you if so!