Welcome

Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and
others concerned about HIV/AIDS. Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the
conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning: Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive
and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a
username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own
physician.

All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators
of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please
provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are
true and correct to their knowledge.

Author
Topic: I tested negative, but I will be positive forever (Read 29054 times)

I'm a young, heterosexual, educated, well-off, white male. I'm also very conservative (although not religious at all). I have an advanced degree in science. Like all young people, I was, at some point, paranoid about HIV, I've read a lot on the subject. Not those silly health magazines, but scientific papers and books that are, in essence, reviews of scientific papers. Based on what I had learned, I figured out that my odds of contracting HIV (straight, don't do drugs, don't sleep around too much, always use condoms) are less than being struck by lightning. So I stopped thinking about this for many years, especially since for the last 8 years or so I’ve only had sex with women with whom I was in a long term relationship. As any 100% straight man from a conservative family, I had a certain level of disgust towards homosexuals, bisexuals, drug-addicts, etc. After reading about HIV, my disgust towards these individuals increased even more. I still maintain that it’s a well-proven fact that most people infected are either individuals from this category or people who have relationships with these individuals. “Not only they live dirty lives, they also infect other people”, I thought to myself. Since I never imagined myself associating with these people, I never imagined myself to be touched by HIV in any kind of manner.

But then something happened… I happened to have a long-term relationship with a woman who was HIV positive. Never in my life could I imagine that she had HIV. She was obviously not from that group. In fact, she was a colleague of mine. She did sleep around a lot (something I found out a year after we started dating) and most likely got infected by her ex-boyfriend who was probably bisexual. When I found out her status, we already broke up like 7 months ago. And then things started happening. First of all, I remembered that 2-3 weeks after we had had our first unprotected sex, I had the worst flu of my life that included extremely sore throat, fever, sweats (even after I got better), mouth sores, muscle pain, etc. Overall, we had a lot of sex in all kinds of forms. Then it occurred to me that my immune system has weakened substantially – I kept getting sick over and over again and had all kinds of bacterial infections.

Anyways, for a few months I was living 100% sure I was HIV+. I was too scared to get tested and was basically trying to put all of my things in order before I get an official verdict and my life changes forever. This experience taught me a lot. First of all, it taught me what’s important for me in my life. I also realized what a fool I was for putting sex and women at the center of my life. I also figured out who my true friends were. Obviously, I couldn’t hold it to myself and shared this with a few of my closest friends. All but one disappeared from my life after they found out that that there may be a possibility of me having HIV. But most importantly, I learned that I was a stuck-up jerk throughout my whole life. I also stopped having sex and any kind of relationships because of depression and concern that I may infect others.

Finally, thanks to my friend, I manned up and got tested. The results came back negative … So technically, I don’t have HIV. But I know what it is like to have HIV (at least, psychologically). This experience changed my life completely. The most important thing I got out of this experience is that I became more humble. I realized that regardless of where we like to stick our penis and what mistakes we did, we are all humans and we all need to love, respect, and help each other. Yes, HIV is not something a white, heterosexual, middle class male needs to worry about (if we are talking about chances of getting infected). But HIV is something we ALL need to worry about because, foremost, it’s a HUMAN disease.

I don’t believe in God as taught by religions. To me God is entire universe. So the only thing I want right now is to thank the universe for being so generous to me and ask the universe to forgive me. I won’t join any HIV activist groups or start wearing a red ribbon. I will try to deserve forgiveness by helping others in need. I make good money but I never contributed to charity before this experience. I still won’t donate to charity, but I started buying food and giving money to those who really need it. I also knew a guy who was gay and HIV+. The reason I know him is because he is a friend of friend. Needless to say, I didn’t want anything to do with him before the experience. But after the experience I tried to become his friend. I found out he was unemployed so I found him a job through my contacts.

I tested negative, but I hope I will be a positive individual for the rest of my life. Who would imagine that something so negative would have such a positive impact on my life.

To those who are HIV+ I would like to say this: HIV or not HIV, you are still a living person and this is a wonderful thing.

To those who are HIV- (I guess I'm talking about all those people who came to this forum since they are worried that they got an HIV) I would like to say this: if you test HIV-, don't forget about your experience. It tells you how HIV+ people feel. Help those who need your help!

I don’t believe in God as taught by religions. To me God is entire universe. So the only thing I want right now is to thank the universe for being so generous to me and ask the universe to forgive me. I won’t join any HIV activist groups or start wearing a red ribbon. I will try to deserve forgiveness by helping others in need. I make good money but I never contributed to charity before this experience. I still won’t donate to charity, but I started buying food and giving money to those who really need it.

"ask the universe to forgive me"

Forgive you for what, exactly? Its not clear to me.

For being a sanctimonious close-minded judgmental person for most of your life?

If you make good money, then pickout a damned charity that meets charitable standards of transparency, and your interests, and give some of your money to charity. Why do you STILL have to have all the control - who you give to, when, and why. Then it's still all about you, and showing off as a "good person". The "universe" might notice your selfless gesture of generosity, then and only then.

I tested negative, but I hope I will be a positive individual for the rest of my life. Who would imagine that something so negative would have such a positive impact on my life.

To those who are HIV+ I would like to say this: HIV or not HIV, you are still a living person and this is a wonderful thing.

This play on words feels insulting to me, personally. I am positive as in HIV+. HIV+. HIV+.

You are not HIV+. Count your lucky chances for sure.

And do you REALLY REALLY think we need you to tell us that we are "still" living people??? For real???

All that shade aside, I'm glad you're opening your eyes and mind to the big complex world of humanity you have been living in ALL YOUR LIFE. It's mildly interesting that it was an HIV trigger but it could have been a near fatal car crash, hallucinations on LSD, or a walk through the slums of Cairo.

I have a movie recommendation for you: Eat Pray Love. Its a litmus test. If the platitudes don't turn your stomach, then you still have a long long long journey before your universe opens much wider than your navel.

Logged

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

As far as I am concerned, as long as you have an immune system, you are in a risk group, be you white, middle class, black what-ever-class, gay, heterosexual, sleep around-a-lot or not!HIV is universal....and I am not just saying this because I am positive.

I am very happy the you are not positive, because my greatest wish is that less and less people should get infected. In a way I am glad your fear of getting infected changed a lot of things about your way of thinking.

And if you want to show gratitude to HIV or HIV+ people as the source of your epiphany, please stop trying to filter it exclusively through your personal voyage. Go actually work for HIV health and awareness, and sign a check every month. And tell off your friends who dissed you, and educate them, or drop them.

You do realise you could write a check tomorrow for several grand and help an HIV+ complete stranger who doesn't know who you are. Dare you do it???

Logged

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

I have started to talking to people about HIV. I have a friend who is a black female who likes to have anal sex. I talked to her about the risks she is facing. I also talked to two young gay men about HIV. Of course they know about HIV and condoms, but certain things just cannot be learned unless something hits you. So I thought that if I share my experience with them it will stick to their brains. I also talk to some of my friends who are conservative and homophobic about HIV.

And I will certainly give money to a charity that sponsors HIV/AIDS research. I will just do more research on that.

The world is definitely ending tomorrow: for once I am in agreement with Mecha.

Bottom line, what is the point of this thread? For the OP to feel better as a person? Some random Internet true confession about the fact that he "was" homophobic, judgmental, and narrow minded? I seriously find this post to be quite preposterous. Moreover, I'm not even sure why this person should be allowed to start a new thread here, if he is not HIV positive (yeah, yeah, it brings back the old debate as to who can post where --well, our rules state that those who are neg, with some approved exceptions, should only participate in the Am I Infected? and Someone I Care About areas).

I am not buying this sudden change of heart. A face to face encounter with HIV doesn't turn a homophobe into Mother Fucking Teresa. But I digress.

Congrats to this individual on his negative test. That's the only nice thing that I can say here.

« Last Edit: May 20, 2011, 05:10:27 PM by Rev. Moon »

Logged

"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

so what you're saying is that you're gloating about how you totally ignored the public service announcements and all that scientific literature you suppposedly read, and even broke your own code of ethics and yet still got "lucky"?

The literature you claim to have read would have clearly stated that being straight, not doing drugs, and having fewer sexual partners is no guarantee against contracting HIV at all. While those categories might not be labeled as "high risk", those are not "no risk" categories. You clearly misunderstood whatever it was that you read. Also, you obviously were not "always" using condoms, as you clearly state the times you did not, so don't count that as a category you fit into. ("sometimes" and "always" have vastly different meanings)

I think it's kinda sweet that he decided to share his story. Obviously, he doesn't know a fraction of what we do, but I can at least applaud his effort. We can use this as a reason to blast his comments, or an opportunity to to teach. Anybody willing to spread the preventative word at least deserves a chance to understand.

I have started to talking to people about HIV. I have a friend who is a black female who likes to have anal sex. I talked to her about the risks she is facing. I also talked to two young gay men about HIV. Of course they know about HIV and condoms, but certain things just cannot be learned unless something hits you. So I thought that if I share my experience with them it will stick to their brains. I also talk to some of my friends who are conservative and homophobic about HIV.

And I will certainly give money to a charity that sponsors HIV/AIDS research. I will just do more research on that.

Karry,

Thanks and best of luck to you!

Thanks for the apology.I'm going to go out on a limb and give my good faith that you are experiencing an opening up to the world.

Things to think about, in my opinion, is your tendancy to label people into categories. If you want to open up to humanity and how we are all in this together, you'll have to arrive a place where you don't feel the need to say things like:

a black female who likes to have anal sex

Cause maybe for you its a new thing to relate to black people, or anal sex fans, but as your first post shows, you're beginning to understand that people are people. It doesn't mean anything to us that your friend is "black" in other words. Or into anal.

Also, talking to "young gay men" - well dear you could talk to anyone about safesex and HIV. As leatherman pointed out, you didn't get the memo about how safesex applies to everyone. And anyone all around the world is at risk for HIV. Or any other crappy disease.

I think the next step in your awakening is that you put your preconceived categories in the closet and open your heart and your mind to humanity - we are all so much the same, the differences are just the spice of life.

You don't have to claim to be spiritually or intellectually HIV+ to have a connection to us HIV+ folk. We got that nasty virus. You don't. But surely you have your crosses to bear in life. So the connection is already there.

« Last Edit: May 20, 2011, 06:25:05 PM by mecch »

Logged

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Finally, thanks to my friend, I manned up and got tested. The results came back negative … So technically, I don’t have HIV. But I know what it is like to have HIV (at least, psychologically).

This is possibly the most offensive thing I have ever read posted on these forums. For you to suggest that you know squat about being HIV+ is beyond my comprehension. You don't know Jack about being poz, nor about how to not come off looking like some golden-spooned preppy, tossing pearls amongst the swine. Yes, this is a teaching moment, but it has nothing to do with prevention.

It took me a day to figure out how to respond to your posting and story. While I believe there is a good intent somewhere behind posting your story, at best you are patronizing, and at worst you are offensive. Allow me to explain.

Quote

I'm a young, heterosexual, educated, well-off, white male. I'm also very conservative (although not religious at all). I have an advanced degree in science. Like all young people, I was, at some point, paranoid about HIV, I've read a lot on the subject. Not those silly health magazines, but scientific papers and books that are, in essence, reviews of scientific papers. Based on what I had learned, I figured out that my odds of contracting HIV (straight, don't do drugs, don't sleep around too much, always use condoms) are less than being struck by lightning. So I stopped thinking about this for many years, especially since for the last 8 years or so I’ve only had sex with women with whom I was in a long term relationship. As any 100% straight man from a conservative family, I had a certain level of disgust towards homosexuals, bisexuals, drug-addicts, etc. After reading about HIV, my disgust towards these individuals increased even more. I still maintain that it’s a well-proven fact that most people infected are either individuals from this category or people who have relationships with these individuals. “Not only they live dirty lives, they also infect other people”, I thought to myself. Since I never imagined myself associating with these people, I never imagined myself to be touched by HIV in any kind of manner.

Your bigotry towards and intolerance of homosexuals is palpable. Offensive.

Clearly you did not understand as much as you thought you did about HIV.

Quote

But then something happened… I happened to have a long-term relationship with a woman who was HIV positive. Never in my life could I imagine that she had HIV. She was obviously not from that group. In fact, she was a colleague of mine. She did sleep around a lot (something I found out a year after we started dating) and most likely got infected by her ex-boyfriend who was probably bisexual. When I found out her status, we already broke up like 7 months ago. And then things started happening. First of all, I remembered that 2-3 weeks after we had had our first unprotected sex, I had the worst flu of my life that included extremely sore throat, fever, sweats (even after I got better), mouth sores, muscle pain, etc. Overall, we had a lot of sex in all kinds of forms. Then it occurred to me that my immune system has weakened substantially – I kept getting sick over and over again and had all kinds of bacterial infections.

It amazes me that there are people who still think HIV is a "gay" disease.

Quote

Anyways, for a few months I was living 100% sure I was HIV+. I was too scared to get tested and was basically trying to put all of my things in order before I get an official verdict and my life changes forever. This experience taught me a lot. First of all, it taught me what’s important for me in my life. I also realized what a fool I was for putting sex and women at the center of my life. I also figured out who my true friends were. Obviously, I couldn’t hold it to myself and shared this with a few of my closest friends. All but one disappeared from my life after they found out that that there may be a possibility of me having HIV. But most importantly, I learned that I was a stuck-up jerk throughout my whole life. I also stopped having sex and any kind of relationships because of depression and concern that I may infect others.

The only way to know whether or not you have HIV is to get tested.

Quote

Finally, thanks to my friend, I manned up and got tested. The results came back negative … So technically, I don’t have HIV. But I know what it is like to have HIV (at least, psychologically). This experience changed my life completely.

Here is what will change your life completely: receiving test results that unequivocally indicate that you have HIV. Until then, you do not know what it is like to have HIV, psychologically or otherwise. You are only presuming.

Quote

The most important thing I got out of this experience is that I became more humble. I realized that regardless of where we like to stick our penis and what mistakes we did, we are all humans and we all need to love, respect, and help each other. Yes, HIV is not something a white, heterosexual, middle class male needs to worry about (if we are talking about chances of getting infected). But HIV is something we ALL need to worry about because, foremost, it’s a HUMAN disease.

The white, heterosexual middle class males on these forums would probably disagree when you say it isn't something they should worry about.

Quote

I don’t believe in God as taught by religions. To me God is entire universe. So the only thing I want right now is to thank the universe for being so generous to me and ask the universe to forgive me. I won’t join any HIV activist groups or start wearing a red ribbon. I will try to deserve forgiveness by helping others in need. I make good money but I never contributed to charity before this experience. I still won’t donate to charity, but I started buying food and giving money to those who really need it. I also knew a guy who was gay and HIV+. The reason I know him is because he is a friend of friend. Needless to say, I didn’t want anything to do with him before the experience. But after the experience I tried to become his friend. I found out he was unemployed so I found him a job through my contacts.

OK, you're trying to make an effort. But if you really think you know what it is like to be HIV+, you would understand the need to donate to charities that help people with HIV.

Quote

I tested negative, but I hope I will be a positive individual for the rest of my life. Who would imagine that something so negative would have such a positive impact on my life.

To those who are HIV+ I would like to say this: HIV or not HIV, you are still a living person and this is a wonderful thing.

I never once forgot that I am a living person, but apparently you didn't think the same of HIV+ people. And while this whole experience may have changed your life, I'm not sure HIV+ folks are the right audience for your message.

Quote

To those who are HIV- (I guess I'm talking about all those people who came to this forum since they are worried that they got an HIV) I would like to say this: if you test HIV-, don't forget about your experience. It tells you how HIV+ people feel. Help those who need your help!

I'll say it again: if you test negative, you do not know how positive people feel. Geesh, how presumptuous!

Regards,

Henry

Logged

"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Stupid bigoted homophobic white boy thinks he's educated about the world of HIV. Goes and sticks his wang into a chick then freaks out when he realises that he's been too stupid to wrap it. Tests neg then takes that as his cue to somehow save the world by continuing with his bigoted ignorant bile.

I agree with killfoile that you saying you know what it is like to live with HIV is one of the most offensive things I've read.

This thread was originally posted in the Activism forum, which obviously wasn't the most appropriate place for it. It was then moved to Off Topic, but that's not an appropriate place either because OT is meant to be an hiv-free zone.

I've moved it to Someone I Care About, but this isn't really an appropriate place for it either. Let's face it, there's not really any section of these forums where it would be appropriate for this offensive thread to reside.

Vook, you're posting from a part of the world (UAE) where man-on-man sex is very much a fact, albeit a hidden fact, of life. Whether you like it or not.

I suggest that rather than ever posting here again, you take Matty's suggestion and go start a blog in some little explored corner of the internet. We don't need your false sympathy and we don't need your sanctimony. Goodbye!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Say what? He's posting form the UAE? So his fascinating bit a about the friendship with a slutty "black woman who likes to take it up the butt" is geographically unlikely.

Oh world, we have been trolled!

Meh. Fucker.

Logged

"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

So his fascinating bit a about the friendship with a slutty "black woman who likes to take it up the butt" is geographically unlikely.

Not really. There are plenty of immigrants in that country - they let them in to do the dirty work that their own women can't do because they're not allowed out of the family compounds without a male relative to chaperone them. There are also plenty of Indian and Pakistani immigrants there too and in many parts of the world, people of Indian or Pakistani decent are called "blacks". They're often referred to as such in the UK, for example.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Not really. There are plenty of immigrants in that country - they let them in to do the dirty work that their own women can't do because they're not allowed out of the family compounds without a male relative to chaperone them. There are also plenty of Indian and Pakistani immigrants there too and in many parts of the world, people of Indian or Pakistani decent are called "blacks". They're often referred to as such in the UK, for example.

And you think that a man who describes himself as he did in this bullshit story would strike a friendship with someone like that? Unlikely.

Logged

"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I was sure that I was pregnant once (100% sure but then the test came back negative). For all you pregnant ladies out there, please know that you are still living! I know what it is like and will remain pregnant forever.

I was sure that I was pregnant once (100% sure but then the test came back negative). For all you pregnant ladies out there, please know that you are still living! I know what it is like and will remain pregnant forever.

I know what you mean. I once thought I was dying of prostate cancer. Now I'll always have prostate cancer. What a bummer.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I actually passed over this entry yesterday until it started getting some responses. I figured it would be standard weepy fare of little note, but by the time I finished I was thinking that, if this was intended as troll work, it was artfully done.

It just works on so many levels - right down to where it was posted even.

I was sure that I was pregnant once (100% sure but then the test came back negative). For all you pregnant ladies out there, please know that you are still living! I know what it is like and will remain pregnant forever.

Sorry, I couldn't help bashing my head against the wall after reading your post, vook. I mean, seriously?!

First off, I do congratulate you for changing your viewpoint... somewhat. However, you still have a long way to go in my opinion. I know I'm repeating what others are saying, but in this case I think it bears repeating: Everyone is at risk and needs to worry about contracting HIV. Male, female, gay, straight, bisexual, white, black, asian, latino, rich, middle-class, poor, etc. Everyone. Remember this, assume that everyone else you encounter is HIV+ and protect yourself accordingly. Only after you've been in a monogamous relationship for more than three months should you test, and when you do, you test together, then you can decide to not wear protection.

As someone who's negative but have a really close friend who's HIV+ as well as having gotten to know some of the members on this forum, you do not know what it is like to be HIV positive. Neither do I. You saying so was offensive to me as well, despite my status. I suggest you get out of that mindset. I'll tell you this... I was deluded myself when I first became a member on this site. I thought that I was "living with HIV" because I'm a part of my dear friend's post-HIV-infection life, helping him out with whatever he needed and providing emotional support whenever possible. And you know what? That's bullshit and an insult to poz people. I don't live with HIV, nor do I know what it's like. I learned this the hard way after killfoile schooled me so well. (I never apologized about that, by the way...)

Quote

Finally, thanks to my friend, I manned up and got tested. The results came back negative … So technically, I don’t have HIV.

You do not have HIV. Period. You had a scare, much like the one I went through. Your mindset opened up a bit, just like it did for me. You sort of have a better understanding of HIV (I hope!), just like me when I started doing all sorts of research on it. I'm glad that the experience has made you humble, however. Humility is a good thing to have. You've still got a long way to go, and I do hope you continue on this path to better yourself so you can, in turn, better humanity.

Choose your words carefully next time. You've offended a whole lot of people. I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose, but it's done. Hope you've learned from this thread.

Sorry, I couldn't help bashing my head against the wall after reading your post, vook. I mean, seriously?!

First off, I do congratulate you for changing your viewpoint... somewhat. However, you still have a long way to go in my opinion. I know I'm repeating what others are saying, but in this case I think it bears repeating: Everyone is at risk and needs to worry about contracting HIV. Male, female, gay, straight, bisexual, white, black, asian, latino, rich, middle-class, poor, etc. Everyone. Remember this, assume that everyone else you encounter is HIV+ and protect yourself accordingly. Only after you've been in a monogamous relationship for more than three months should you test, and when you do, you test together, then you can decide to not wear protection.

As someone who's negative but have a really close friend who's HIV+ as well as having gotten to know some of the members on this forum, you do not know what it is like to be HIV positive. Neither do I. You saying so was offensive to me as well, despite my status. I suggest you get out of that mindset. I'll tell you this... I was deluded myself when I first became a member on this site. I thought that I was "living with HIV" because I'm a part of my dear friend's post-HIV-infection life, helping him out with whatever he needed and providing emotional support whenever possible. And you know what? That's bullshit and an insult to poz people. I don't live with HIV, nor do I know what it's like. I learned this the hard way after killfoile schooled me so well. (I never apologized about that, by the way...)

You do not have HIV. Period. You had a scare, much like the one I went through. Your mindset opened up a bit, just like it did for me. You sort of have a better understanding of HIV (I hope!), just like me when I started doing all sorts of research on it. I'm glad that the experience has made you humble, however. Humility is a good thing to have. You've still got a long way to go, and I do hope you continue on this path to better yourself so you can, in turn, better humanity.

Choose your words carefully next time. You've offended a whole lot of people. I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose, but it's done. Hope you've learned from this thread.

I know you think you mean well but please quit trying to speak for pozzies. It's cloying.

My point is you've decided for whatever reason to play Mother Fuckin' Theresa to folks with AIDS.

Sunny wants to be "raptured" today. Please be kind to him.

Logged

"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

What, so only poz people should advocate the cause? Saying that I'm "trying to play Mother Fuckin' Teresa" is a gross over-exaggeration and an insult. Either way, after the way you and a couple others have treated me in the past, it's clear I somehow annoy some people and am not wanted around here. I won't bother you guys anymore.

What, so only poz people should advocate the cause? Saying that I'm "trying to play Mother Fuckin' Teresa" is a gross over-exaggeration and an insult. Either way, after the way you and a couple others have treated me in the past, it's clear I somehow annoy some people and am not wanted around here. I won't bother you guys anymore.

Look, I'm not trying to bust your balls, so quit playing the victim. That dance card is full. People around here would love to have your "experience" and test negative. You know what the majority of us would do with that experience? Learn and move on. Oh and your comment about how me and a couple of others have treated you. Test positive and then see how you are treated. You really aren't simpatico at all. Have a great day.

You do not have HIV. Period. You had a scare, much like the one I went through. Your mindset opened up a bit, just like it did for me. You sort of have a better understanding of HIV (I hope!), just like me when I started doing all sorts of research on it. I'm glad that the experience has made you humble, however. Humility is a good thing to have. You've still got a long way to go, and I do hope you continue on this path to better yourself so you can, in turn, better humanity.

Choose your words carefully next time. You've offended a whole lot of people. I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose, but it's done. Hope you've learned from this thread.

Sunny, you need to get a grip and read your own words. However noble your motives may be, you seem unable to grasp the idea that much of your experience has no bearing here, as you are not poz. I am not saying that your experiences have no meaning, rather they are often irrelevant to the issues that pozzies face. It is also an issue of fairness and this is a poz site, populated mainly by pozzies and we can speak for ourselves. I hope you can understand that we live in a world that is far removed from HIV negative folks. If I try, I can remember what it was like to be negative, however, no matter how hard you might try, you will never understand what it means to be poz.

of course they can! matter of fact it would be nice to have more negative people, more people of color, more conservative people, more old people, and more Republicans to join the table and speak out about stemming the tide of the HIV epidemic.

Many of the groups and people that my advocacy group (and the SC task force) has been networking and forming alliances with are non-traditional groups (meaning non-gay, non-sexual health advocates). By partnering with "other kinds" of people than just pozzies, we can reach more with our prevention and advocacy message. Here in a deeply religious, conservative, Republican state like SC, I'll take everyone possible advocating for ADAP and medicaid along with spreading HIV prevention.

However, the OP of this thread was in NO way advocating for anything, nor spreading any accurate prevention message.

Logged

leatherman (aka mIkIE)

All the stars are flashing high above the seaand the party is on fire around you and meWe're gonna burn this disco down before the morning comes- Pet Shop Boys chart from 1992-2015Isentress/Prezcobix

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Not really. There are plenty of immigrants in that country - they let them in to do the dirty work that their own women can't do because they're not allowed out of the family compounds without a male relative to chaperone them. There are also plenty of Indian and Pakistani immigrants there too and in many parts of the world, people of Indian or Pakistani decent are called "blacks". They're often referred to as such in the UK, for example.

Really? Lol. I never ever heard that while I was in the UK. I thought we're just called 'Pakis' lol.

KillFoile and Dachshund, it's surprising to me, that so many poz folks strive to take away the barrier of self-isolation and discrimination, try hard in practice and in real-life to integrate themselves with negatives in a discriminatory and prejudiced society and then suddenly want to set themselves apart in advocacy. Sounds quite contradictory to me.

Dachshund, go wear a T-shirt and say you are positive openly in this society and go out on the streets to educate everyone as an AIDS activist volunteer how bad your experience was, instead of shitting on a well-wisher locked away into your closet room typing away on a computer about your rage filled upset HIV positive world. I would think, here's Sunny, trying to advocate causes against prejudiced words and saying that he indeed doesn't know what it's like to be positive by saying so here:

[quote

you do not know what it is like to be HIV positive. Neither do I. You saying so was offensive to me as well, despite my status. I suggest you get out of that mindset. I'll tell you this... I was deluded myself when I first became a member on this site. I thought that I was "living with HIV" because I'm a part of my dear friend's post-HIV-infection life, helping him out with whatever he needed and providing emotional support whenever possible. And you know what? That's bullshit and an insult to poz people. I don't live with HIV, nor do I know what it's like. I learned this the hard way after killfoile schooled me so well. (I never apologized about that, by the way...)

[/quote]

I absolutely agree that, as leatherman said, negatives need need to be involved in advocacy against HIV also.

And so, dachshund, the above words of Mr.Sunny clearly showed he wasn't talking for pozzies but he was indeed noble hearted, if you'd stop being an idiot(read others' posts carefully!) and a douche to nice people.

And yeah, the original poster: You dont need to have HIV to open your eyes. That's not true understanding. And were it not for the HIV scare you'd still be prejudiced about everything...

KillFoile and Dachshund, it's surprising to me, that so many poz folks strive to take away the barrier of self-isolation and discrimination, try hard in practice and in real-life to integrate themselves with negatives in a discriminatory and prejudiced society and then suddenly want to set themselves apart in advocacy. Sounds quite contradictory to me.

Dachshund, go wear a T-shirt and say you are positive openly in this society and go out on the streets to educate everyone as an AIDS activist volunteer how bad your experience was, instead of shitting on a well-wisher locked away into your closet room typing away on a computer about your rage filled upset HIV positive world. I would think, here's Sunny, trying to advocate causes against prejudiced words and saying that he indeed doesn't know what it's like to be positive by saying so here:

I absolutely agree that, as leatherman said, negatives need need to be involved in advocacy against HIV also.

And so, dachshund, the above words of Mr.Sunny clearly showed he wasn't talking for pozzies but he was indeed noble hearted, if you'd stop being an idiot(read others' posts carefully!) and a douche to nice people.

And yeah, the original poster: You dont need to have HIV to open your eyes. That's not true understanding. And were it not for the HIV scare you'd still be prejudiced about everything...

Are you really going to preach about being nice to pepole and call someone a douche and an idiot in the same sentence ? sounds more like you are trying to start a flame war to me .

I would have been more receptive if the original poster hadn't come across as an unapologetic bigot. But I digress, perhaps the issue is mine after being raised by one. His post served as a great reminder why people like myself, a heterosexual white male, are looked on with such disdain..... I cringed while reading each and every self serving paragraph he authored, simply hoping it was understood that this straight guy never shared this type of belief(s).

KillFoile and Dachshund, it's surprising to me, that so many poz folks strive to take away the barrier of self-isolation and discrimination, try hard in practice and in real-life to integrate themselves with negatives in a discriminatory and prejudiced society and then suddenly want to set themselves apart in advocacy. Sounds quite contradictory to me.

Dachshund, go wear a T-shirt and say you are positive openly in this society and go out on the streets to educate everyone as an AIDS activist volunteer how bad your experience was, instead of shitting on a well-wisher locked away into your closet room typing away on a computer about your rage filled upset HIV positive world. I would think, here's Sunny, trying to advocate causes against prejudiced words and saying that he indeed doesn't know what it's like to be positive by saying so here:

I absolutely agree that, as leatherman said, negatives need need to be involved in advocacy against HIV also.

And so, dachshund, the above words of Mr.Sunny clearly showed he wasn't talking for pozzies but he was indeed noble hearted, if you'd stop being an idiot(read others' posts carefully!) and a douche to nice people.

And yeah, the original poster: You dont need to have HIV to open your eyes. That's not true understanding. And were it not for the HIV scare you'd still be prejudiced about everything...

Trust just about every pozzy out there has a Sunny in their life. A negative person who shows sympathy towards our struggles. And that's great, it comes in handy, I guess, during times of loneliness and despair as a show of support. But please, don't call it advocacy against HIV, because it's not.

When I really needed them, not one negative friend could empathize with how I felt. Only my brothers and sisters here could.

KillFoile and Dachshund, it's surprising to me, that so many poz folks strive to take away the barrier of self-isolation and discrimination, try hard in practice and in real-life to integrate themselves with negatives in a discriminatory and prejudiced society and then suddenly want to set themselves apart in advocacy. Sounds quite contradictory to me.

Dachshund, go wear a T-shirt and say you are positive openly in this society and go out on the streets to educate everyone as an AIDS activist volunteer how bad your experience was, instead of shitting on a well-wisher locked away into your closet room typing away on a computer about your rage filled upset HIV positive world. I would think, here's Sunny, trying to advocate causes against prejudiced words and saying that he indeed doesn't know what it's like to be positive by saying so here:

I absolutely agree that, as leatherman said, negatives need need to be involved in advocacy against HIV also.

And so, dachshund, the above words of Mr.Sunny clearly showed he wasn't talking for pozzies but he was indeed noble hearted, if you'd stop being an idiot(read others' posts carefully!) and a douche to nice people.

And yeah, the original poster: You dont need to have HIV to open your eyes. That's not true understanding. And were it not for the HIV scare you'd still be prejudiced about everything...

Your comments have been reported, Coolstone. It is not acceptable to call others an idiot and a douce. It stops right now or you will find yourself if there is a next time very quickly getting a Time Out. You can disagree with someone but you can't do namecalling. Consider yourself warned!