Met Worst Sateen: Madonna

Stella McCartney is obviously trying to stay out of it, whatever it is between Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna. She dressed them both. Madonna however did not sit with Stella and her usual girls. G and Stella were with Kate Hudson and Rashida Jones and Iman and I think Rihanna, while Madonna was...elsewhere.

You think she was meangirled?

Well, think about all those girls and their pedigrees. Son of Paul McCartney, daughter of Quincy Jones, daughter of Goldie, daughter of Bruce & Blythe... and then there’s Madonna from Detroit. You can be over 50 and still never shake that.

Does that make you feel sorry for her a little? Or are you past the days of having any sympathy for Madonna ever?

I’m telling you – Celebrity is Sociology. The next time some publicist tries to tell me No Personal Questions, I’m should offer this as rationale for going there during the interview.

But anyway, let’s talk about her dress, shall we?

This is a softer version of herself than what she’s brought to the Met Gala in the past. Remember this? I appreciate that she wanted to play it a little mainstream for a change. I wish she’d not done it on this night for McQueen, but I’m down with the fact that she may be in the mood to return to a more romantic style, reminiscent, a little, of the times when she’s been pregnant, or just after pregnancy; I really loved looking at her during the Ray of Light era.

But here’s where sateen can fail you. Even Madonna. Madonna who busts her ass in the gym, who fights every minute of her age with exercise, even Madonna in sateen, well, even she doesn’t look rock hard in sateen. Even her rock hard abs, with their natural curvature, aren’t portrayed very flatteringly in sateen. Why haven’t we just banned the sh-t forever?