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Sorry nightshift, this is not a nice thread to read. But I'm clueless so would like some advice please.

A friend is terminally ill. He has a brain tumour which has rapidly advanced this year. If he sees his 30th out at the end of October I think everyone will be grateful for that - it's that bad.

Last time I saw him he became incapacitated in a very short space of time and ended up in hospital again. All sorts of nasties happen when you have a tumour so he blacked out. Turned out he was okay that time but he'd had a three day lapse into a coma not long before then.

Contact has been brief since.

I've sent two texts in the last week. "Hey, I've got next week off, fancy meeting up? I'll come to your neck of the woods if it's easier". That was Monday. No reply.
Yesterday "Did you get my text earlier in the week? How are things?".
No reply.

So now how do I make contact? I have his fiance on Facebook and I've also hunted down a very good friend of his on there - I just don't want to be a massive pest and contact *everyone*. Do I call him? If I contact her and things are really bad she's likely to be in a bad way and I, don't know, I just feel like it's not my place to intrude.

The friend I think is more realistic about things, but is also very very close and I sense also extremely upset. He was the guy who told me that his flatmate's boyfriend died two months after a "shunt" operation for a tumour.

well, just difficult. I'm not one of his best friends or oldest friends so it's hard to guage what's crossing a line and what's not really. I can't be selfish in these circumstances and just be annoyingly persistent because they have much more to deal with than I.

and you don't want to make people more upset than they already are, but your friend's fiancee and friends are probably thinking about it a lot already, you aren't going to be reminding them of something that's at the back of their minds. Having to speak to a concerned friend is not the worst thing facing them, unfortunately. :(

I left a message asking him or his gf to call me back if he's not easily able to talk. No reply.

Time to start messaging friends?

This is all just shit. I wish I'd sorted my shit out before now and just got their numbers, but that's acknowledging the fact that he's actually going to die in real life, something which we're all a bit reluctant to face.