Stranger Than Fiction

Liquor store clerk Joseph Wescott, 59, told
police in Roswell, Ga., that a man entered the store and tried to stab
him in the chest. The knife hit the cell phone in Wescott's shirt
pocket but did not injure Wescott, who pulled a gun and shot the
would-be robber in the abdomen. He then used the cell phone to call
police, who reported finding suspect Carlos Jean Pierre, 34, at a
nearby hospital. Both the gun and the phone were gifts from Wescott's
son, a police officer.

Police arrested Lisa Roshelle Myles, 40, at a
Target store in Oklahoma City after employees said they saw her stuff
Blu-ray discs in her pants and try to waddle away without paying. The
Oklahoman reported that a search revealed Myles had 33 discs in
her pants.

British police nabbed three men who robbed a
jewelry store in Guildford, Surrey, even though they fled the scene in
a stolen high-speed Alfa Romeo, because getaway driver Neil Murray, 34,
not only refused to break the speed limit, but at times was driving
below the limit. The Daily Telegraph reported police caught up
to the robbers within 30 minutes.

Vertical seating

China's Spring Airlines announced it is
considering selling standing-room tickets to allow it to handle the
growing number of passengers. Airline official Zhang Wuan told CCTV
that standees would actually be assigned bar stools equipped with
safety belts. MSNBC reported the airline estimated the measure would
increase plane capacity by 40 percent, trim costs by 20 percent and
lower fares for all passengers.

Following Spring's example, Ireland's low-cost
airline Ryanair said it was considering ripping out the back five or
six rows of seats on some flights so passengers could sit on bar stools
or stand for flights of less than 90 minutes. "Why is this any
different to what happens on trains where you see thousands of people
who cannot get a seat standing in the aisles?" Ryanair chief executive
Michael O'Leary told Sky News. He indicated that passengers willing to
stand could fly for free.

Hoping for a bailout

The economic downturn has accelerated the
collapse of Ponzi schemes by making it harder for fraud artists to find
new investors to keep their operations going, according to the FBI,
which has almost 500 Ponzi investigations under way. "We have more open
Ponzi scheme cases than at any time in FBI history," Special Agent
David G. Nanz told the Washington Post. "We anticipated a spike,
but the numbers we are seeing are even greater than expected." Nanz
added: "There is an old saying, though: 'When the tide goes out, you
can see who isn't wearing a bathing suit.' And that definitely applies
to Ponzi operators."

Slight provocation

Sheriff's officials in Lee County, Fla.,
arrested Meredith Hart Mulcahy, 66, for shaking her 71-year-old
common-law husband during an argument that began over undercooked
potatoes and overcooked bread.

Gun goofs

Roy Jenkins, 44, was arguing with his girl
friend on his cell phone while trying to conceal a shotgun by shoving
it down his pants leg. The gun discharged. "He blew his little toe
off," Alameda, Calif., police Lt. Bill Scott told the Alameda
Sun, "with additional collateral damage to his shin."

Debra Monce, 56, was in a restroom stall at a
hotel in Tampa, Fla., when her small-caliber gun fell out of her waist
holster. It fired when it hit the floor and wounded Janifer Bliss, 54,
who was in the next stall.

Wedding-day blues

An Italian couple, hoping to add a twist to the
traditional throwing of the bride's bouquet, hired an ultralight plane
to fly over the reception in Suvereto and drop the bouquet to the line
of eligible women waiting below. Corriere della Sera reported that as
pilot Luciano Nannelli flew by, passenger Isidoro Pensieri, 44, tossed
the bouquet, but the flowers were sucked into the engine, which caught
fire and exploded, causing the craft to crash. Nannelli had only minor
injuries, but Pensieri was badly hurt and taken to the hospital —
in a helicopter.

Incendiary devices

Two inmates at the Chatham County, Ga., jail
were treated for minor burns after they started a fire trying to light
a handmade cigarette with a spark from an electrical socket. Sheriff's
Deputy Ron Robinson told the Associated Press the inmates probably
stuck a pencil lead into a wall socket in their cell, creating a spark
that ignited a piece of cloth they intended to use as a match. But the
burning cloth set fire to a bed sheet on a nearby bunk. "Some of these
guys have serious habits and cravings," Robinson said. "They try to
smoke a lot of things: lettuce, collard greens, turnip greens, whatever
was served to them at lunch that day."

A 21-year-old Australian man became so angry at
his car for continually breaking down that he set it on fire. In the
process, a Queensland court heard, the man accidentally ignited
himself. The Courier-Mail reported the man was treated for burns
to his face and hands and fined $300.

Put on a happy face

Hoping to improve the image of its staff,
Japan's Keihin Electric Express Railway Co. began using smile-measuring
software to evaluate the grins of its 530 workers as they begin their
workday. According to Mainichi Japan, the device uses a camera
and computer to analyze the facial characteristics of a person,
including eye movements, lip curves and wrinkles, and rate a smile on a
scale from 0 to 100 percent. The computer screen tells those with low
scores, "You still look too serious" or "Lift up your mouth corners,"
while those who pass the test are supposed to print out and carry
around an image of their best smile to help them remember it throughout
the day.

Abuse by the pint

The Casa Pocho bar in the Spanish town of
Cullera is encouraging its customers to insult its staff and is even
offering free drinks for original or hilarious abuse. Polish-born bar
owner Bernard Mariusz told Reuters he came up with the idea to help
people release their frustrations at the economy. "That way," he said,
"they won't have to let it out on their family."