The Official Blog of The Official Ford of The Official Bar of The Official Blog of The Ford.
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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Part III

OK, it's Hawaiian Vacation time! Are you excited?!? The Ford knows he is!

Oh, wait, he's done with the vacation.

All that's left is the post-mortem... Dr. Ford, the highlights, if you please....

Wednesday, aka, Day 1Pretty much covered by the travelogue, but getting carded/rejected at the Hard Rock Cafe certainly cast a, um, sober pall over the weekend. Thanks, Aussie waitress. Y'know, in this country, we accept a fella's ID if the photo and the b-day's right, even if it's expired. And you wonder why The Ford was double-timing his consumption of Mountain Dew.

Thursday, aka, Day 2

Dinner at Bubba Gump: Three things come to mind:1.) The "Shrimper's Heaven" platter is hardly heavenly when you're leaving out the shrimp cocktail. Though those were some truly outstanding hushpuppies.2.) No carding here. Despite a group of 4 20-somethings obviously giddy with being in Hawaii. Suck it, Ms. Aussie.3.) Nothing's quite as fun as being able to get your entire table to salute a random Coug fan walking by, wearing a WSU hat. Go Cougs.

Post-dinner: More of The Official Rules of The Official Blog.Never go grocery shopping when you're dehydrated. You'll probably end up buying 11 different varieties of beverage. It's like the hot-weather version of shopping stoned. Except that you end up buying a bottle of Gatorade Rain, rather than a jumbo bag of Cheetos. The Ford will leave it up to you, dear reader, to decide which is more embarassing.

If you must buy a straw hat, make sure you're with someone buying an even more outrageous straw hat, the same way a slightly-above-average gal hanging out with some, um, less-than-attractive gals all'uva'sudden becomes a semi-hottie. For example, The Ford bout a straw golf hat. But his buddy, well, he bought a Panama hat. (FYI, it's a Panama for the type of straw, and not for the makers.) Yeah, The Ford was not the semi-hottie in that exchange, sad to say.

Pick and choose your World Cup games carefully. There's nothing wrong with staying awake for U.S.-Ghana. But Ukraine-Tunisia? When you've got a luau (with all-you-can-drink alcohol) and an impromptu bachelor party (with all-you-can-afford alcohol)? Discretion is the better part of valor, there, young fella, and, boy, does The Ford wish he'd thought about that.