Monday, April 2, 2012

So, yesterday stunk. Just plain sucked. And that has managed to carry into today...

After a fun Thursday and Friday at the Waterpark in Brainerd, i was happy to be home with my family and catching up on some house stuff.

Sunday i got up and got ready for church and the kids were all in the car and Jeromy was inside doing some last minute stuff and i was going to quick feed the chickens. Jeromys humongous work truck is parked in the small stall of our garage. (Because heaven forbid it sits outside for one night) So i opened the door and snuck my 5'11 frame under the door as it was opening (you know, who has time to wait the whole 30 seconds for a door to open?) And just as i was taking my powerstep into the garage i started to stand my huge frame back up, with force, and wouldn't ya know, i came up directly under my husbands rack thing. I mean, i ROCKED my shoulder. So hard i felt like, crying, throwing up and taking a sledge hammer to that truck all at the same time. Well as i sat there moaning and and whispering "owwww, oh, owwww!" no one heard me. I had to just stand up again and feed those darn birds and get back in to the van.

Jeromy finally came out of the house and i said, "just so you know, i think i just broke my shoulder blade on your truck!" I think he said something like, "oh. I'll have to get the coop away from the garage so you don't have to walk through there anymore." Ugh, whatever! I was instantly mad...why couldn't he feel my pain? Seriously, i wanted him to feel it, and I was just about at the point of showing him myself how much it hurt.

But like the lady I am, i refrained from punching him in the shoulder..

That was the beginning of a crappy, crappy Sunday.

As i sat though church, i just kept wincing as my sweater would rub against my shoulder. Oh, my poor broken shoulder. It didn't look at bad as if felt. But it felt bad. It still feels bad.

After church we stopped by my brothers house to visit. It was nice. He always feels bad when i get hurt. So that sympathy is always nice. "Oh, Christina...that just looks awful. Are you okay? Oh i am so sorry you got hurt. You are tough and wonderful (i may have added the last part, but its something like that) And as he tells me how bad he feels, i always say "ohhh, its no biggie. I'm okay. Its not so bad..." (but i do like the sympathy ;)

We got home from his house and the phone rang. Its was my Mom.

"Christina did you read the Star Tribune today?"

"Ummmm, no?"

"what water park did we stay at this weekend again?"

"The Lodge, Mom."

"Cause there is an article here saying that The Lodge hotel in Brainerd had to shut down due to some sort of yuck in the pool on Monday. Yuck actually was a big word for fecal matter....(gagging as i type that) Oh. My. Goodness. And there were about 7 cases detected and one confirmed of some thing that was making kids sick due to it. It was some real long, and fancy word. It was giving kids at terrible GI problem...In other words, the poops!"

I laughed, (but wanted to cry) because we went there on Thursday at around 1:30 and they told me the pool was not open due to a "temporary shut down", but it would be open again in 30 minutes. No biggie, right?

Then on Friday morning, Ruby couldn't go to the pool cause she had "The #3's!" That's what she calls it...She had the pee poops, folks. So every 5 minutes she was in the bathroom. My Mom stayed with her until i could talk her into trying the pool again. Yes, i encouraged her to get in the pool cause i thought she was just nervous cause she has the Kneiszler blood, and we are always nervous about something! Ha. Guess i was wrong.

(Oh yeah. Go ahead and drink that poopy water in...drink it all in...)

Whatever. So two of my kids got the pee poops. What could i do now? Get over it, i guess.

I decided to go out and get my coop cleaned out. That would make me happy. Guaranteed.

So i let the chickens out and started to rake. But then i noticed my Rooster was limping. Oh, Nooo, what happened now? Darn you Buzz...what, did you twist your little chicken ankle?

Good grief. Rooster up, wouldya?

So i got to hammering and arranging (i had big plans for an awesome new roost). Jeromy came outside and we chatted with my neighbor, who just got three new baby chicks, and then i went back in to drag one last heavy piece out. Just as i got that dog house like thing out of the coop, i shut the door. (the one that connects to the garage. Right where Jeromy parks his work truck.)

All i know is Jeormy yelled something as the door unhinged his mountain bike that was hanging above me, and its swung down (pendulum style) with the center of the handle bars connecting squarely with my left temple...

Lights out! (not literally) I actually just felt like i was in a boxing match and did not win and went flying across the garage floor. On my feet, mind you. Then i just kept on walking to the front and into the house where i kindly told Jeromy to "leave me alone." and i sat down in the bathroom and thought about what just happened. Wondering if i would even live to tell about it.

What just happened? My face killed. My temple was untouchable my chin hurt and i wanted to die. Oy. So i ran a bath and sulked.

Later that night I just layed on the couch with some frozen peas on my temple and wished that this day had turned out differently. My body hurt. I mean, it really hurt. All i could envision was Liam Neisons wife and how just a hit to her head inadvertently caused her death. Please don't let that happen to me.

So today, i wake up. (at this point I am just happy TO wake up. That was the first good sign.) But boy, oh, boy...I felt like i got hit in the head by a swinging man bike....oh, thats right. I DID!

Uck. My shoulder hurts, my temple hurts, my jaw hurts and i am seriously thinking that i might only be able to eat things through a straw for the rest of my life.

...sigh....

I headed down the road to get Laney to preschool and saw gas was $3.65. Nice. I needed gas, but i didn't have time. I was heading to Forrest Lake and would get it on the way home.

At the Holiday in Forrest lake, gas had gone up to $3.71. Are you kidding me? No way i am paying $3.71 a gallon. I will bleed this tank dry getting back to ham lake and fill up for $3.65. Done and done.

I visited. I left. I got back to Ham lake to pick Laney up.

When i got to Holiday, i gasped when i realized that gas was $3 stinkin 89!!!!!!!!!! $3.89!! I skipped $3.65 and $3.71 for this?? That was IT.... i charged in there after putting thirty measly dollars in the tank and asked "Are my eyes deceiving me, or was your gas sitting at $3.65 this morning???"

The lady replied, "Ha, oh yep. It was indeed cheaper an hour and a half ago. Highest gas has gone up ever!"

I feel like that's when i went into my redzone...you know like the dangerous dogs do. That's the "do not disturb" zone.

I was hearing the noise from Kill Bill again....

...Weeeee, wuuuuu, weeeeeee, wuuuuuu...

I told that lady "Have a terrible day, ma'am. I hope your day and everyone else's is just TERRIBLE!!!" And charged out of there.

(not really, but i wanted to. It might have made me feel temporarily better.)

...Blahh, blahhh, naughtey word, blah, 27 more naughty words, blahh, snotty face, crabby head shake (which only increased the pain), and one more blahh with another naughty word....(get my drift?)

I'm crabby.

And then Jeromy calls to ask how i was doing. After i told him "fine" (So he knew i was going to make it.)He laughed and told me how he had seen people get hit before but he had never seen anyone fly across a garage like i did when that bike hit me! "Way to stay on your feet" he commended me. "Way to stay on your feet".

"Can you believe that happened?" He asked.

"Can I believe it? Ummm, ya. I can believe it. That's kind of what my temple is telling me every time i smile, wince, blink, chew, talk or clench me teeth. It was a real good hit."

Then he kept on about "how his handle bars were facing the wrong direction and he went out to recreate it and just couldn't figure how it even happened like that. What a freak accident, huh?"

Umm, ya. I am not really at the "laughing about it" stage just yet. But it was a real skull crusher. Thanks for pointing that out.

Too soon, Jeromy. Too soon...

So if you're asking for my advice, here it is:
1.) Don't get a Rooster!
2.) Watch out for flying bikes!
3.)Don't park in the garage...it could be dangerous for someone else!
4.) Don't swim in poopy pools.
5.)Ride your bike to work to avoid gas prices...wait, NO, do not ride the bike...i still don't trust them.
6.)Walk to work.
7.)Avoid leaving the house at all cost. Its safest in side.

Lets just agree to all watch tv, all the time...whatever could be wrong with that???