Friday, September 16, 2011

"would you like to go for a bicycle ride?""uh, no, i'm going to be riding by myself, because i have to do particular stuff."

*not this dude in particular, but a dude who did go to bed at eight and who, when i brought him chocolate chip cookies i'd baked that afternoon, declined them because it was during road season. it didn't last long.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

i've continued to be freaked out by michelle bachmann's iowa straw poll win (i also keep imagining handfuls of actual straw being involved in this event.) bachmann freaks me out. even before i saw Bachmann-eyezed! but then i read what ed from gin and tacos wrote about it, and i started to feel a little bit better:

"The Ames (aka Iowa) Straw Poll is the dumbest event in politics by a country mile, even compared to legendary shitshows like CNN/YouTube debates, the Thanksgiving sparing of a turkey, and the national conventions.
...
The media have managed to turn this non-event – previously won by the likes of Pat Robertson – into a crucial barometer of candidate viability."

Mr Huber [the prosecutor] claims that the seriousness of my offense was that I “obstructed lawful government proceedings.” But the auction in question was not a lawful proceeding. I know you’ve heard another case about some of the irregularities for which the auction was overturned. But that case did not involve the BLM’s blatant violation of Secretarial Order 3226, which was a law that went into effect in 2001 and required the BLM to weigh the impacts on climate change for all its major decisions, particularly resource development. A federal judge in Montana ruled last year that the BLM was in constant violation of this law throughout the Bush administration. In all the proceedings and debates about this auction, no apologist for the government or the BLM has ever even tried to claim that the BLM followed this law. In both the December 2008 auction and the creation of the Resource Management Plan on which this auction was based, the BLM did not even attempt to follow this law.

unless you feel like subletting part of my seat (i'm open to reasonable offers—$2/stop? $1/minute? a reasonable flat rate of $20?), then stay the hell over on your side.

i don't care if you'd rather sit with your legs all splayed out like a dog sunning the spot where his balls used to be, or if you prefer to drape your arm around the back of the seat beside you. i'm sorry if you're lonely or if you never developed basic social skills, but not sorry enough to want you to let you touch me or invade my space.

Friday, June 10, 2011

from KSBW: Zachary Parke, who is not a UCSC student, was returning home at midnight from the campus after hanging out with friends, his mother April Parke said....Another bicyclist found Zachary Parke's body at 8:05 a.m. on Wednesday and called 911.

police are seeking a burgundy/maroon infiniti or nissan with front end damage and a missing side-view mirror; call (831) 622-0511 or (831) 796-2160.

ALSO: if you ever hit someone, STOP. STOP AND CALL FOR HELP. we'll never know what could have happened, but there were eight hours between the likely time of the accident and when another cyclist called 911. if you've hit someone, the very least you can do is make sure they're being attended to. i can't believe it's even necessary to spell that out.

parke leaves behind a mother, a sister, and a lot of friends. these people's lives will never be the same, and it didn't have to be this way. parke's boss remembers him. to those people: i'm so sorry this happened.

Ayn Rand may be your favorite philosopher, but she is an appalling writer. Her novels call into question whether she ever met another human being let alone spoke with one. With absolutely no understanding of how narrative, plot, character development, or exposition work, Rand produces fiction that sounds like it was written in Urdu and translated into English with the least reliable free online translator available.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

the dad: "tonight i went for a walk. you know how they have that wild mustang rescue?"

me: "yeah...?"

the dad: "well, i did some earthworm rescue of my own. i saved 'em from being squashed and i took 'em home for my compost bin. i'd imagine pretty soon we'll become a 501(c)(3) and start soliciting donations for our work."