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Oh boy. I am bummed to say that Vlogmas wk 3 was a bit of a fail but I am grateful to be taking some much needed time to blog about why.

I shared what I had filmed on my YouTube channel along with some news I am in no way ashamed of.

Week 3 of December I was diagnosed with depression. Not only did I not want to spend time editing my events from that weekend but the medication I am now taking came with some not so fun symptoms the first week or so. YouTube was put on hold to take care of my health whilst my body (and mind) were going through some adjustments.

It is something I have accepted and something I am working on. I will continue to remain open about it because there is no shame in any of it. Many of you reading this struggle with anxiety and/or depression. I am with you, I understand you, and I feel for you.

I have struggled with anxiety for the last few years on and off. Panic attacks, serious social anxiety, and living in constant fear was something I had become "used" to. Although its never really comfortable I had accepted it and foolishly put it on the shelf to deal with later. 2015 pulled one over on me and took my anxiety to greater heights because I refused to deal with my issues and many unfortunate events took place that pushed me over the edge.

It was no longer something I struggled with from time to time. Anxiety became the norm, feeling comfortable became uncomfortable. I had become so used to living in such an anxious state of mind that even when nothing crazy was actually happening externally, it was internally.

2015 was a wake up call in many ways. One of the biggest realizations I had was that I have spent the last 3 years ignoring my intuition. My belief is that when you ignore your mind, body, soul, etc...your body starts to yell at you louder and in different ways to get your attention. For me it manifested itself with more and more anxiety, weekly panic attacks, a very expensive trip to the hospital, insomnia, and my body going some days without eating.

Not a healthy or happy way to be living.

2015 was the wake up call that I needed. I am making much healthier choices, listening to my inner guide, connecting with my spirituality, and making many strides to better my life and my surroundings.

I apologize for not getting VLOGMAS WK 3 out on time but I know you all will be understanding.

In other news, I have been working on my 2015 year end video. Its not fun to edit but I know one day I will be glad I put it together. 2015 was bittersweet and I am so ready to leave it behind. I dont know when it will be completed, hopefully soon. Its incredibly painful but its also incredibly healing. So we will see what happens with it. TBD.

I will also have my 2015 year end thoughts coming to you in blog form sometime this month.

So stay tuned!

Much love to all of you. I hope you all know how much I appreciate and adore you. My subbies are so incredible, many of you have checked in with me and I cannot tell you how much that means to me.

There is something very beautiful about the transition between seasons. Transitions and change are really a great thing, but for most of us its freaky. Change scares the shit out of alot of us, so it makes sense that most people get a little funky around this time of the year.

It gets darker earlier, its bitter cold outside, the holidays for alot of us bring up all of our family drama etc...Theres lots that contribute to Winter Blues. I think times like this we need to remember that this is a great time of the year. Its a great time to give yourself a break, cut yourself some slack, catch up on snuggles and sleep, re build relationships with family, get back to our roots, and celebrate the transitions. This is a great time to celebrate the change that is happening in our lives and the world around us and celebrate the season!

I know its easy to get caught in a rut during this time of the year. Below are some of the ways I like to get through the winter blues and use this time of the year to work for me rather than against me!

COFFEE:

This is a big one if you know me at all haha. I cant survive without my coffee. It cheers me up, gives me energy, and I feel like my taste buds do a happy dance every time a drink it. I just love it. When its god awful cold outside treat yourself to a nice warm cup of coffee, add some flavors to it to make things fun.

I dig Beans & Brews. I give them shout outs often! If you are here in Utah and wanting something delicious check out B&B! They have all their holiday drinks available AND they just upped their espresso amount! I like their Pumpkin Pie Fritalia the best.

DECORATE:

This is an obvious one! Getting festive is a great way to add some magic and sparkle to your home! Light some candles, add Christmas lights, turn on some holiday tunes, and enjoy the magic! Setting up our Christmas tree is one of my favorites! I have so many very random decorations its like one big tree of memories. I love having our tree up!

I have fairy lights throughout my house, not just during the holidays but all year. I love the lighting and it gives our home a very relaxed environment. I have them throughout our office and around the window in our living room.

I just added this little cyprus gem below that smells divine! Its chillaxing in my office and will be in the background of my YouTube videos during the month of December.

BATH TIME:

Duh this is an obvious one! Bath time is great on any day but especially when its freezing outside! I love Lush bath bombs and they have some amazing ones for the holidays! Candy Mountain is a holiday favorite of mine and smells super sweet! Lord of Misrule is a fun one that makes you feel extra special, and they have a ton of options for Christmas. Treat yourself to some YOU time and take a bath. Add a book, music, some candles and you have instant magic and love happening in your life.

After your bath take some time to snuggle up with your loved ones, your pet, your blanket, or whatever you've got going on!

REFLECT:

Like I said this is a great time for transitioning, and the seasonal change is great symbolism for just that. For years I got serious seasonal depression because all my family drama happened between November-December. I have decided this year is going to be different. However that doesnt mean I cant reflect on everything thats happened in life. This is a great time for reflection. Journal writing is a great! I like to look back at old journals of mine, and I am so glad I documented my life. Its nice to see how much I have grown and matured through out the years. And its kick ass to read some of the stuff I went through and go "yeah I survived, I moved on, I adapted etc."

GET OUTSIDE:

Yes its cold outside, but eventually some of us need to get out! Josh and I love taking our pups on trails, when you live in Utah and everything's closed on Sundays you get creative! Even though its cold you work up a sweat and it feels great! When its super snowy take advantage and play in it. How many of us USED to build a snowman or have snowball fights? Why does that stop for a lot of us after a while. If you have kids do it with them, if you don't why not do it yourself. Its fun! We love to throw snow balls for our dogs, its hilarious and they love it!

I know this time of year can be difficult for a lot of us. Cut yourself some slack and take advantage of this time of year by taking some serious quality time for yourself! Sending cyber hugs to all of you!

Magnolia Rose

My name is Emily Magnolia Rose, I am a creative free spirit with a passion for adventure and an eclectic variety of interests!

I adore all things beauty, fashion, health and wellness related. I have a very serious love for hiking, coffee, fearless authenticity, self improvement, and #SelfLoveSunday. I dig coffee, rainstorms, music, meditation, yoga and astrology. I am a bit of an over sharer with a very colorful personality and a horrible potty mouth.

I believe life is a beautiful adventure and I am so grateful to be able to document and share my adventures with YOU.