Текст предисловия:

It was the first day back to school.
Cuttin' up in class.
Actin' like a tool.
Friends were rollin' in.
We started talkin' about the summer.
DeeJay saw "Twilight" - Bummer!
I spoke up , and I asked my friends
"Are there any new girls? 9's or 10's?"
Hopin' a few hotties had moved from other cities,
And in walked this girl with tig ol' bitties.

I can't believe my eyes.
In a contest, they'd win first prize.
Double D guarantee I was checkin' their size.
It's like two beach balls in a shirt disguise.
Or Earth and Mars having some fun.
Wait, I take it back it's like two of the sun.
But at this point I let my mind run,
And drifted off thinking about them tig ol' bitties.

Kept trippin' in class
because of her dang breasts in a tiny shirt.
Boobs having a fiesta.
Later in lab, we were messin' with test tubes.
Couldn't take my eyes off the new girls chest.
Boobs!
Wasn't paying attention.
Got busted.
Had to serve detention.
In biology we talked about the bees.
The best kind of bees... Boobies!

I cant' believe my mind.
I hold a poker face to her two of a kind.
With each step her breasts gettin' redefined.
I'm making my move.
I'm thinking it's time.
Oh snap!
I'm gonna ask her to prom,
And in my head she responds
"You're the bomb!"
Feeling nervous so I count to three.
"I like your boobs."
"Go to prom with me?"

She said yes, so I'm getting ready.
Stain on my shirt...
mom's spaghetti.
I pick her up, and I'm pretty sure
That she'll let me motorboat like
br-br-br-br-br.
I try to cop a feel once we get to the school.
She said, "no touching. That's the rule."
Principal walks up on the scene.
"It's time to announce prom king and queen."
"Your Favorite Martian and Tig Ol' Bitties."
"Congratulatins to you both on winning."
Time slowed down, and she jumped for joy.
Then out of her dress jumped something more.
Tissues flew and rained from the sky.
Oh my god!
You stuff your shirt?
Your Favotite Martian in a world of hurt.
Awww. Fake ol' bitties.