Badly Behaved

I told you yesterday that our lab, Jake, has some issues with his face leaking, yes? Yes.

That picture is super cute and funny, but it’s also NOT EVEN THE WORST that the drool gets. It’s totally grody, and I LOVE that our other dog is a mix and hardly drools.

I know that the drool totally isn’t his fault, blah blah biology, blah blah. BUT SERIOUSLY. It’s all up in our shiz all the time, and he thinks it’s just adorable to stand in front of us while we’re dealing with food (or eating dinner on the couch, bad habits, I know) completely still, not panting, just staring us down while we try to eat, sometimes getting close enough to drool on our knees.

Effing adorable.

In addition to that, our two effing adorable dogs get into incredible amounts of mischief when they’re together. To be fair, it keeps us tidier than we would otherwise be, but lest we slip up even a little bit, Callie and Jake tend to go bonkers when we aren’t home and help themselves to anything accessible.

Below, please find a list (incomplete) of the things we deal with on a daily basis:

Reorganizing. Every single day, the second we’re gone, Jake moves both food bowls to other parts of the house. Then when it’s time to eat we have to go fetch them. This organization only works in one direction. Sometimes he moves the water bowls OFF THEIR STAND and we come home to a flood. That is not desirable.

Couch. Duh. Easy. Old man dog with arthritic hips likes the couch. The problem is that the face leaking happens ON the couch, so he basically just lays there drooling, then we come home to MASSIVE puddles on the couch. So grody. Additionally, HE HAS HIS OWN COUCH, but heaven forbid he only lay on that. Nope. Human couch, please.

Rugs. We have rugs in our house. By doors, you know. Nearly daily they get moved. For what? I don’t know.

Trash, and other paper items are hot commodities. If we get a box in the mail it has to go outside IMMEDIATELY, otherwise the next time we go away it’ll get shredded to bits and then we have to clean THOSE up. Same goes for empty dog food bags (one was left out for TEN MINUTES earlier this week before being shredded to bits), mail, napkins, or trash from the bathrooms that are at dog-level.

Poop! Our girl, Callie, rolls in poop. Only fresh, and only on her head and neck. Someone please tell me how to stop this.

Light reading. In addition to the trash shredding issue, the dogs will occasionally grab a book or magazine from the coffee table to peruse, and if they don’t like it they shred it to bits. They don’t actually eat the books, just leave bits of wet pages all over the house for us to collect.

I would like to note that 1. our dogs get outside a lot, 2. don’t seem to have anxiety issues, and 3. have access to TONS of dog toys that they never touch. I mean, really.

Reader Interactions

Comments

I can usually make most people love their dogs a little more. I have two rescue pit-mixes. They stay in crates when we leave them alone, because we’re pretty sure they can’t handle the empty house. Before we got the second, the first had such anxiety that she would break OUT of her metal crate, hurting herself, and then destroy the house.

Last summer, we moved from DC to Florida, where we now have a yard with a fence. In January, we got an invisible fence because one of our dogs can climb a 6-foot VISIBLE fence to check for bbq bones in our neighbors’ yards (neighbor behavior is another story). The other dog SPAZZES OUT when he sees cats, squirrels, birds, other dogs, paper bags that move suspiciously, whatever. He plays nicely with other dogs at daycare, but taking him on walks is a real task. He’s also about to have his second surgery for a torn knee ligament since last August.

Feel better? I daily threaten to give them to the gypsies, but they’re just so lovable when they’re sleeping..

My dogs are good at making other people’s dogs look wonderful. I have two rescue pit-mixes. They get crated when they stay home alone; they go to daycare when we are at work, because a full day in the crate seems cruel and they can’t handle the empty house. Before we had the second one, the first had such bad anxiety that she would break OUT of her metal crate, hurting herself, and destroy the house. We moved from DC to Florida last summer, where we now have a house with a fenced yard. A few months ago, we got an invisible fence, because this same dog can scale the 6-foot visible fence. She makes scary sounds when she plays, which is not helpful given that she’s a scary-looking black Staffie.

The other dog is getting ready for his second surgery for torn knee ligaments (yes, our dog has sports injuries) since last August. While he plays nicely with other dogs at daycare, he spazzes at other dogs, cats, squirrels, and suspicious-looking garbage when he is on the leash. His head is so solid that he nearly knocked me unconscious jumping onto the couch when my noggin was in the way.

Daily, I threaten to sell them to the gypsies; but they are so darn cute when they are sleeping… Feel better?