Recap by The Metal Wulf

Not much to speak of on this particular evening. The most interesting thing, outside of the usual kick-ass music, was a little contest that Jeffie and Eric Rodriguez (Ire Clad bassist and frequent co-host on The Last Exit For The Lost).

Yep, throughout the evening Jeffie and Eric went head to head in assorted competitions such as arm wrestling, breath holding, and massage. I'm sure there were others as well, but I certainly can't remember them at the moment.

Now, to the untrained eye it may have seemed like Eric came out on top each time, but to be perfectly honest, Jeffie actually one each and every challenge. Eric may have pushed Jeffie's arm all the way to the table, but that wasn't the real goal of the challenge. In fact, the winner was the person who hit the floor the hardest.

Jeffie definitely got that win!

And although Eric may have held his breath longer, the real objective was to turn as deep a shade of purple as possible and pass out first.

Once again, the round went to Jeffie!

Can't remember the objective of the massage challenge, but I'm pretty sure the win went to the one who creeped the rest of us out the most.

Winner: Jeffie!

Outside of that, I honestly can't remember much worth mentioning. In all honesty, my mind has probably blocked it out...or maybe Azkath's tampering with my brain did more damage than we originally thought...

Not much to speak of on this particular evening. The most interesting thing, outside of the usual kick-ass music, was a little contest that Jeffie and Eric Rodriguez (Ire Clad bassist and frequent co-host on The Last Exit For The Lost).

Yep, throughout the evening Jeffie and Eric went head to head in assorted competitions such as arm wrestling, breath holding, and massage. I'm sure there were others as well, but I certainly can't remember them at the moment.

Now, to the untrained eye it may have seemed like Eric came out on top each time, but to be perfectly honest, Jeffie actually one each and every challenge. Eric may have pushed Jeffie's arm all the way to the table, but that wasn't the real goal of the challenge. In fact, the winner was the person who hit the floor the hardest.

Jeffie definitely got that win!

And although Eric may have held his breath longer, the real objective was to turn as deep a shade of purple as possible and pass out first.

Once again, the round went to Jeffie!

Can't remember the objective of the massage challenge, but I'm pretty sure the win went to the one who creeped the rest of us out the most.

Winner: Jeffie!

Outside of that, I honestly can't remember much worth mentioning. In all honesty, my mind has probably blocked it out...or maybe Azkath's tampering with my brain did more damage than we originally thought...

No Jeffie this week, much to my disappointment. I was really looking forward to discussing my thoughts on spreading Jeffie-ism across the world. Guess that conversation will have to wait for another evening...

As it turns out, The Demon, Azkath, had left Jeffie at home to play a game of Move The Rocks. Really nothing more than a cheap ruse to get Jeffie to perform yard work.

Still, according to Azkath, Jeffie seemed to be having a lot of fun moving rocks, so I guess it's all for the better. As long as my lord and savior is happy!

Azkath took a few moments to play some John Denver on the show, which initially seemed very unusual, considering John wasn't exactly known for being metal.

Still, imagine my surprise when I heard blast beats and death metal growls during "Rocky Mountain High". No, really, I swear! It was in there, all of it! It was truly some of the most brutal metal I've ever heard, all in a freakin' John Denver song! And Azkath even assured me it was a genuine recording from John's death metal days!

Who would've thought?

Azkath had also mentioned something he'd either watched our read involving salamanders. It seems that there was an experiment where a salamander's brain was extracted, chopped into multiple pieces, and put back into the creature's skull. As it turns out, amazingly enough, the salamander functioned normally, as if nothing had even happened to it.

Crazy stuff, huh?

From there Azkath explained that he'd like to experiment with my brain. To be perfectly honest, I really wasn't feeling it. Didn't care for the idea in the least, but of course, in the end, I let him tamper with my gray matter.

The results were a bit bizarre, I've gotta say. I mean, I felt pretty well after he'd put the brain back in, but there were a few slight complications.

I mean, for the most part I seemed to be able to speak normally, but every now and again I'd mix up a word or two. A little strange, but I'm ferfectly pine right now, I assure you!

Ferfectly PINE!

And there also seemed to be a slight amount of visual impairment, but this orange tinge to everything is actually kinda pretty once you get used to it.

The only problem I really have is this compulsion to sing John Denver songs. I mean, it's not as embarassing as it could be, considering I now know that John was a closet Metal God, but still...

Stryper - No More Hell To Pay Rubicon Cross - Bleed With Me Fit For An Autopsy - Still We Destroy _______________________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf

Don Weeks had once again joined us in the studio, fresh from his latest leg of the Yes tour. For those who may not remember, Don was a host of the show many years ago, before it was even the Metallic Onslaught, and is now a lighting technician. Always cool to have him on, as he's always got some fun stories to share.

We briefly discussed our trip to Ithaca to see The Rods perform at The Haunt. They hadn't played locally in quite some time, actually, so it was really cool to get down there and check them out once again.

And to add to the fun, we even paid a visit to The Last Exit For The Lost later in the evening, since we were in the area anyway. Bear in mind, this is only the second time in almost two and a half years that ALL of us made it down there. 'Tis a rare occurrence, to be sure. Anyhow, for those who missed out listening to the show that night, there's some video clips accessible through The Last Exit's website. You'll get to see BILL!!! receiving a birthday lapdance from Porno Joe (with me caught amidst the chaos...), and you'll get to hear me and JustJoe singing Happy Birthday...as Bill weeps.

It's pretty damned funny, to be honest...

Jeffie joined us again, much to our dismay. He was commenting on how much he misses his llamas. Now, for those who have no blooming idea of where the llamas came from...let's just say, back in the days when I was still PRETENDING to be a werewolf (you know, before Jeffie cloned my dead body and threw some wolf DNA into the mix, making me a REAL werewolf...), Jeffie had some llamas roaming the studio during a special interview segment. And I ate them...

And it wasn't just me, Arydaea Insanity was all over those fuzzy critters as well. It was a fucking BLOOD BATH. I mean, we were literally plastered in plasma. Kinda gross in retrospect, especially when you consider that I wasn't really a werewolf at that time...

But, yeah, he was missing his llamas, not that there was much we could do about it. Really didn't feel sorry for him...

The evening concluded with me dropping a huge bombshell. Truth is, this is quite likely going to have serious repercussions in the future, but I really feel I had no choice.

I mean, I thought long and hard about things over the past few months, and I've come to the conclusion that Jeffie is right. He saved me back on No Pants Day from being a Brony. My salvation came as a direct result of the beating and humiliation I suffered at the hands of Jeffie and JustJoe, and as a result, I have now accepted Jeffie as my personal Lord and Savior.

We had a visit from some of the ladies from the Finger Lakes Lunachicks Roller Derby league, and they were highly eager to promote not only the Open House in Lyons this past Monday night, but also derby in general. Which is great, because it's always cool to know just how much these ladies love what they do.

Always a pleasure to have them on, whether Roc City or Lunachicks!

Had some strange moments throughout the evening. Azkath had mentioned something about "these things snap right off", which was really puzzling at first, until I felt compelled to try snapping Tim's arms off.

And I'm tellin' you right now, it was NOT as easy as it sounded. As much as I yanked or pulled on his arms, there was no give at all. I mean, I thougt I MIGHT have had it, for just ONE brief moment I thought I felt something starting to slide out of place, just a little...but then nothing.

So, yeah, it seems that those things DO NOT just snap right off...

As I recall this whole thing was meant to be punishment for Tim attending that night's Carnival Of Madness show in Canandaigua.

Azkath had me try again later in the evening, this time giving me a hammer. And one would think that using the claw end of the hammer to dismember somebody would make things much easier...but no dice. His arms were bound and detemined to stay attached to his torso.

Damn stubborn appendages, anyway...

As for Tim, he got so worried that I might actually succeed in my venture that he hid himself in the rest room, successfully flushing himself just to get away from me. But, eventually he returned, drenched and covered in unspeakable foulness. And I'm pretty sure Bill had just recently "blown up" the toilet, as he likes to put it, so I'm pretty sure some of that was attached to Tim here and there.

Not sure what we've got on the agenda for the next show. So far, it's sounding like it might be one of those "quiet" nights, which are cool as well, because it's always good to keep the focus on the tunes!

As for the most this past Friday, I don't remember too much craziness, to be honest. Played a lot of good music as always, but probably the silliest moment of the evening came when Azkath played a comedy track called "Bulbous Bouffant". There are numerous fan-made videos on You-Tube. In fact, I shared one of them on our Facebook page. It's worth a view..and a LOT of laughs...

We had Jane Evile drop in for a bit, and she shared her experience of performing at the 2013 Women's Right To Rock Festival with her new band, A Taste Of Evil.

Sadly we missed out on that show, as it fell on a Friday night. We told her she should see about performing on Saturday night should she return for next year's show.

As it turns out, we'll be getting to check her band out well before next summer, as A Taste Of Evil has just recently been added to play the Heavy Metal Halloween Bash at the Eagle Hotel in Lodi on October 26. Spater will be hosting the event, and it will also feature J.A.C.K., Ire Clad, Psychopath, Thoughts In Reverse, and Sabbatage (a Black Sabbath tribute band featuring former Awaken bassist, Freddy Villano).

Should be a good time, so mark your calendar now. Halloween's NOT that far off, when ya get right down to it!

We had another visitor on hand that night, one Shawn-Marie Simmons, whose last name was Terry when I knew her many, many moons ago.

Yep, Joe and I both know Shawn from our college days. As a matter of fact, it had been almost 25 years since I'd last seen her. Had a great time catching up with her, without a doubt. We even shared some stories about college experiences, most noteworthy being the tale of a certain trip to New York City with The R.A.T. (Radio And Television) Guild. Couldn't really go into full detail about the trip while on the air, but I'm thinking of recording an edition of Randy's Rants to share some of the things that weren't radio friendly.

There was also a brief and bizarre discussion regarding my supposed pansexualism. Literally, Azkath was wondering exacly what I would be married to, assuming the urge ever struck me.

Hey, Demon, I'll make it easy for ya. I'm pretty sure SHE would be human...

As They Burn - Frozen Vision Goatess - Full Moon At Noon A Sound Of Thunder - Queen Of Hell Battlecross - Ghost Alive Chthonic - Set Fire To The Island

Sirenia - The Funeral March Huntress - Destroy Your Life Deadlock - Dead City Sleepers Newsted - Twisted Tail Of The Comet Potential Threat - Behold The End Heaven+Earth - Back In Anger Spirits Of The Dead - Rumours Of A Presence

W.A.S.P. - The Real Me Heretic - Let 'Em Bleed Hey! Hello! - Feral Days Candlemass - Under The Oak Gwar - Madness At The Core Of Time Long Since Dark - Feeding Blood To The Earth

L.S.D. - Tank

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Recap by The Metal Wulf

We'd discussed getting to see Howl and Lord Dying at The Bug Jar in Rochester the night before. Great show, with local support from Burndwiller and Order Of The Dead. All four band just freakin' killed it, definitely a good time!

We were also able to score an interview with all four members of Lord Dying.

David Henninger from Spater joined us for a couple of hours to bring us up to speed on what promises to be a very cool show in Lodi on October 26, at the Eagle Hotel. Spater will be hosting a Heavy Metal Halloween Bash (to be emceed by the Metallic Onslaught crew), an event that will be free AND open to all ages, and will feature some prize giveaways and, of course, costume judging!

(Amusing side note: It was mentioned that my costume would probably include my man-kini and possibly some of the Brony gear I used on No Pants Day. Don't worry about that happening...my costume for this year has been pretty much planned out since last Halloween, and will be both man-kini and Brony free, I assure you!)

The line-up, as it stands, will be Spater, Ire Clad, J.A.C.K., Thoughts In Reverse, Psychopath, and a Black Sabbath tribute band called Sabotage.

This show should be a blast, so mark your calendar NOW!

Tim Binder had joined us once again, actually just a night or two after he got to meet White Lion's Mike Tramp at a show...somewhere...hmmmm...oh well, doesn't matter who or where the show was, we promptly started busting Tim's balls regarding White Lion.

Now, I've never heard White Lion's first album. I've heard that it's actually a really good, straight-forward hard rock/metal album. Sadly, my exposure to White Lion came around the time that "Wait" and "When The Children Cry" were on MTV...and I HATED them...almost as much as Bon Jovi...

(But not as much as Winger...as there are none so despised as Winger...)

So, yeah, there was some discussion back and forth, both for and against White Lion. It all seems pretty silly at this juncture...but silliness is one of those things that we're REALLY good at, so it all worked out for the better, I suppose.

Anyhoo, a further trip into the horrors that are in Tim's Ipod revealed not only White Lion, but bands such as Tyketto, Tuff, Tori Amos (Azkath promptly slapped me upside the head for being able to identify the song "Raspberry Swirl"...), 'Til Tuesday, and Thompson Twins...

Deadlock - The Final Storm volto! - Whopner Spirits Of The Dead - Wheels Of The World Jorn - Traveller

Ares Kingdom - The Captive

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Recap by The Metal Wulf

Truth is, I don't really remember too much about what happened on the night of the 19th.

I mean, I do remember Rick and Josh discussing Mayhem Fest at Darien Lake, where they were able to not only interview a member of Battlecross, but they also got to talk to two members of Butcher Babies. Pretty cool if ya ask me!

Above and beyond that...It's kinda blurry...

I remember Tim Binder returning that night, as he does during the summer months. And I remember Joe going through Tim's Ipod, discovering the horrors that lied within. Not to say that all of the music in Tim's Ipod sucks, but some of it...more than a few bands, quite frankly...

Did I mention that we really do like Tim?

Okay, far be it from me to knock another person's musical tastes. Let's face it, I've been told my tastes suck more than a few times over my four years on the show. Kinda used to it. I generally just like to leave it that we all liike what we like, even if it's not hard rock or metal.

It was just Joe and I in the early going of the show, as Rick and Josh had gone to check out the Mercia CD release party at Water Street Music Hall, meaning they'd be joining us later in the evening.

An early discussion centered on the return of Judas Priestess to Seneca Falls, where they were to perform for their second year straight at the Women's Right To Rock Festival. Naturally, we were all pretty pumped up for the return of these ladies, especially considering that they were bringing along a new guitar player.

We were also intrigued by the fact that Judas Priestess would be followed up by a burlesque act to close out the evening.

Joe seemed a little worried that perhaps I wouldn't be able to restrain myself during the burlesque portion of the evening, and he didn't seem at all convinced when I told him I had better self control than that.

As a matter of fact, he had this image in his head of me running up to the stage in my mankini, and ultimately ending the evening by getting arrested.

Then he went on to mention how cool it would be for that to happen, and that I'd be able to give them an interview from my jail cell. He also mentioned something about me becoming a human Oreo, but I honestly don't want to think about that...

Anyhoo, I'm happy to say that none of that happened. We had a good time, got our second interview with the ladies, and hung out chatting with them for a bit afterward.

It was also very cool to have Dream Theater's John Petrucci in Seneca Falls, as well, as he was on hand to support his wife, Rena, who just so happens go be the previously mentioned new guitar player in Judas Priestess.

COOL!

Azkath dropped in briefly. Very briefly, in fact.

To be perfectly honest, he seemed to have dropped in just long enough to interrogate some of us as to our whereabouts on the night of July 6. Seems that some goof in a mask (calling himself Darksyde), broke into The Last Exit For The Lost that night and wreaked some form of havok, possibly abducting Justjoe...I can't remember, really...

Anyhoo, whatever form of mischief it was, Azkath proceeded to beat the crap out of me, to make sure that I wasn't Darksyde. I assured him (over and over again...) that I had gone to Gigantour that night, and that it wasn't me behind the raid. Fact is, Rick, Josh, Bill, and myself were all at Gigantour, so it couldn't have been any of us.

Whoever it was, I sure wouldn't want to be him...

Jeffie had dropped by once again, looking for revenge for the beatdown he'd gotten with all that styrofoam he'd brought with him the week before.

This time he brought along an implement of violence that most of us dread. Not because it's overly brutal or intimidating...it's just...very...very...

...awkward...

So, it was with Dickbat (literally, a Whiffle bat with a plastic penis duct-taped to it...) that Jeffie attempted to deliver retribution. Thankfully I was able to get it away from him (because it's just weird having that thing flying at any part of your body...), and proceeded to pummel him back. During the scuffle, Jeffie proceed to wrench the dick from the bat, which really didn't make the situation any less awkward, because now Jeffie was running around with a small plasic cock in his hand...

So, if that weren't bad enough, Jeffie also mentioned that he was charging me for services rendered on No Pants Day.

Yeah, he's CHARGING me for the beatdown he and JustJoe gave me, if you can believe that. He wants $50.00 for enacting that hate crime upon my person, all because he claims to have been SAVING me from my Brony-ism.