The tag line I use to promote my book is “Don’t be a Political Pansy!” That is tongue-in-cheek advertising, and as much a joke as it is a challenge. But there really is a breed of political pansy out there.

I normally serve up red meat on this site. There is so much we can devour! And I am serving up plenty of it elsewhere. But right now I am talking to EVERYONE. I may be preaching to the choir though. It is likely that the people this is directed at won’t see it because, well…they are the people it is directed at, political pansies.

Who are these pansies? These are the people on both side of the political spectrum who harp endlessly on how screwed up everything is. They call names on Facebook and sit in the break room at work looking down their noses at politicians and the people that vote for them. But in reality they are too lazy and insincere to actually go out and make their own noise in a way that is constructive.

These pansies have a laundry list of reasons to not fulfill their civic duty and vote. But my favorite is, “Why bother? It never changes. They’re all the same.”

These pansies already know the answer to their own question. Things remain as they are because too many people say, “Why bother? It never changes.” By being that guy, you hand the worst of our politicians the advantage of incumbency and the comfort of knowing that not enough of the electorate is awake enough to impact their political ambitions.

You have to trust me on this: If the political class woke up on Wednesday morning to find out 90% of the population voted (the results would be wildly out of sinc with what the talking heads are saying now) they would piss their pants! And rightly so. It would mean that they would have to start performing. They would have to shitcan their poll tested garbage and really try to make a difference. They would realize that all the special interest cronyism won’t protect them from US!

And damn! Look how easy they have made voting! You can vote online, vote mail-in (used to be called absentee, and you can vote early. I have made my concrete concerns for these stupid ideas known in my book and here.

Despite those misgivings, how much easier do you need it to be before you participate and drop the phony self-importance about how the man will keep you down no matter what crap?

HOW IT OUGHT TO BE

I was talking to my buddy Bob D. on Facebook the other day. We were in disagreement about a particular get-out-the-vote campaign. But on one point, I don’t believe there was a spark of light between us.

I said that Election Day should be a bank holiday. Forget early voting or online or mail-in garbage. Only real cases should vote absentee. On election day, we should all gather and celebrate the day and the franchise, win or lose. Voting is at least as important as the Fourth of July! It’s way more important than Labor Day. There should be Election Day parties. No one allowed in without an updated “I voted” sticker. These parties should not be mandated by law, of course, but it would be an original party theme. On this day, even as the returns are still being counted, we are all one again. We all did our civic thing and now we are enjoying just being Americans.

Tomorrow, it all starts again. But today, no rancor or discord would be of any use to anyone. Pass the beer and the brats!

But what am I saying? [snide whiney voice] No one would ever do that. It’ll never change. Right?

To this I would respond with a slightly non-contextual quote from Ken Olsen, founder of Digital Equipment Corporation in 1977: “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.” At the time, that was the prevailing wisdom. It would last less than 5 years. Of course we would need a center of influence bigger than my brilliant self to make Election Day a holiday.

And what the hell, it would give Hallmark a reason to jack us up for a whole new set of greeting cards.

Those TV and Movie moments that make normal people smirk and shake their heads.

Zips?Really?

I imagine, if anyone was paying attention to Media Buzz on Sunday, 6 August, that FOX News got some pretty fiery emails.We’re not talking about a super high-rated news show here.I imagine only news and political geeks like myself actually sit through it.But yeah, there was definitely a head shaker.

The guest at that time was Katrina Pierson, Trump hyper-apologist.Howie Kurtz asked her about the fuss over leaks and the AG’s announcement that Justice was going to turn up the heat on leakers.

She spoke of the Obama hold-overs being the likely source of the leaking.I would say that’s probably true.The DC government is shot through with self-absorbed drama queens looking to get their 15 minutes. Or they are leaking to key political people so they can feel like power players.

But in describing these pansies as an internal threat, she called them “zips in the wire”.

This is the problem when airheads hear words of movie dialog and think, “Hmmm, zips in the wire.That’s sounds like a cool phrase.I’ll sound cool saying it.”The problem being that this particular airhead didn’t know what it meant.

“Zips” or zipperheads” is a derogatory term for Asians.More specifically, in the context where it gained fashion, it refers to Vietnamese.Ms. Pierson might have just as well said “gooks”.

If FOX didn’t get overrun with emails that is because the term has been completely lost to time or people aren’t as tuned in to offenses toward Asians as they are offenses against other races.

Personally, I don’t care.I think we are ALL too thin-skinned anyway.We could use some toughening up. The vast majority of our “adult” population has forgotten the adage “Sticks and stones will break my bones, etc.”

Put more accurately, we have a population shot through with people just dying to feign offense and play the victim. “Look at me! Look at me! I’m a delicate little girl!”

Anyway, I thought it was a funny moment.And if Howie knew what the phrase meant, you’d never know it.He didn’t bat an eyelash.

Well, my favorite time of year for binge-watching sports is at an end.

The Tour

Chris Froome (Richie Cunningham’s doppleganger) is, once again, the winner of the Tour De France. I was disappointed his teammate Landa didn’t try to overcome the 1 second gap that kept him off the podium.

The 21-stage event had the usual NASCAR-worthy crashes. The worst of which was the Martin/Plante wreck that left Plante with a concussion. It could have been so much worse. In fact if Plante has decided to fight the lateral path of his bike, he’d have ended up going over the side of a very steep drop. But eventually the trees would have stopped his fall. Eventually.

It is worth mentioning the Martin returned to the race to finish ahead of the bulk of the peloton. He would be competitive throughout the three weeks.

The ejection of Sagan was an absolute outrage especially considering Nacer Bouhanni’s behavior. In Sagan’s case, he was already close to a wall and Mark Cavendish tried to pass him inside. At one point it looks like Cavendish even leans into him. It is impossible to tell if Sagan was trying to make contact or just keep his bike upright when Cavendish hits the ground.

Bouhanni’s sorry behavior is clearly intentional and brazenly on display. Sagan was a favorite this year. He would have contributed to a great event. Most cycling fans couldn’t care less if Bouhanni falls into a sing hole. He should have gotten his walking papers days ago.

And Marcel Kittel was amazing. He took 5 of the first 11 stages, only to crash out of the race a few days ago. I hope he comes back strong next year. He gained a lot of respect, especially that last day trying to ride injured.

Wimbledon

Wimbledon ended last week. Garbiñe Muguruza (cool name) took the Women’s Trophy over Venus Williams (sister to the woman who broke my heart). Venus didn’t come into the final match looking as wound up and confident as she had earlier in the tournament.

For the men, it was Roger Federer who beat Marin Cillic to walk away with the cup. He was, in a word, remarkable. He scored the title having not dropped a set throughout the event. He is far older than any of the players he defeated. (One commentator noted that all the young players were struggling with the heat and injuries, etc. And there’s Federer, almost 36 and fresh as a daisy.)

It was his eighth win at Wimbledon and a record. He looks as though he may have one more in him. We’ll see.

The big story at center court remains Andy Murray. He played well through most of the rounds. And he’s still ranked #1. I had no idea until the second round that he is just coming off hip surgery.

I always thought he had an odd gait. It turns out that he has a limp. When he walks, his left hip remains straight but his right hip rotates back with his leg. The number one tennis player in the world is beating everyone despite a limp. And the limp is not on display when he charges the net or bounds across the court to recover a blooper and stick it up his opponent’s ass. Expect more greatness from Federer and Murray.

The Open Championship

I thought this was scheduled the previous week, but that was the Scottish Open. I did watch that one too.

If you are a golf fan, you didn’t want to miss the Open. It had a little of everything including about 25 minutes of WHAT-THE-HELL-IS-HE-DOING, as Jordan Spieth ran around the practice range looking for a place to drop his ball. More on that in a bit.

But it was Spieth’s weekend, wire-to-wire! The kid who exploded onto the scene two years ago (he was actually amazing to watch as a junior amateur) came back with a fury at Royal Birkdale.

I have to admit, I was pulling for Matt Kuchar all the way to the 16th green in the final round. Kuch is a class act. And he is one of the leaderboard regulars never to have won a major. It sure would have been nice to see him pick up the Claret Jug. But it was not to be. He held neck and neck with Spieth for three days. Not a power hitter, he just plodded along, making the magic he could. He was steady Eddy.

But on the back nine, Spieth showed why he is one of the greatest 23-yr-olds ever to play the game. His clutch putting was mind-blowing.

From the 13th tee, Jordan landed in the rough on the back of a steep hill. Somehow he got the judge to call it unplayable. Spieth, talking a mile a minute, discussing options for a drop, walked all over the practice range and a crowded lot where communications vans were parked. Look at the hill, walk and talk. Look at the hill, walk and talk.

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I know what you are thinking: How could a good-looking man, who isn’t of retirement age, be watching Wimbledon and the Tour De France AND the Open? That’s right. I watched every morning. Well, listen up, buttercup! By next year you could BE at Wimbledon, center court! Or you could watch the peloton zip by from the courtyard of a French Bed and Breakfast. All you need to do is pay attention!

In the end, he dropped his ball about 230 yards out, took his caddie’s advice and pulled out the three iron. He put a blind shot next to the green. Up and down for a bogie. This episode held up play for 25 minutes.

He fell behind Kuchar by a stroke, but that didn’t last. His short work for the rest of the game, especially his putting was flawless, while Kuchar “yipped” a few. Spieth went on to win at 12 under to Kuch’s 9 under.

It was a great weekend of golf. And keep your eye on a Canadian beansprout named Austin Connelly. He’s got real potential.

I’ll put up the best content and images I can find on all this. Keep an eye out for it.

This is a great time of year for binge-watching sports. Alas, it is over. I guess I’ll have time to move my office back to the beach on the Gulf:

It’s a tough life, but somebody’s got to live it.

Matt Jordan is the author of Street Politics: It Ain’t Your Daddy’s GOP Anymore! Unlike Russell, I will not give this to you for free. But you can get it here NOW!

Unless you’ve been living under a rock or never heard of the game of Tennis, you know that Venus Williams played in the Women’s finals today at Wimbledon. It is a bit of a shame it will always be whispered that the reason she was in the finals was because her sister, Serena (who I used to refer to as my next wife) was not there.

Setting aside the armchair sports commentary for a moment, it is the reason why Serena wasn’t there that has my nose out of joint. She’s pregnant! And engaged!

I was not consulted on any of this! It turns out she is like every other woman I’ve ever stalked!

You write letters, cover you walls with pictures and stolen underwear. You ignore one court order after another. And for what?!

Serena is no better than Jennifer Aniston. I gave Jennifer – the hussy – the best years of my life. And after stringing me along with all those legal threats (we know what she really meant) she leaves me for this poof!

source: Huffington Post

Then, when Angelina kicked Billy Bob to the curb, I thought AH-HAH! This is the woman I’ve been looking for! Of course, Pitt couldn’t leave well enough alone. He saw what was happening and used whatever evil means were available (probably blackmail – I mean she was dating Thornton) to steal her from me.

I had all but given up on women until last night. I was sitting in my living room, eating Cheetos, drinking a Yoo-hoo, wearing Serena’s underwear on my head (yeah, I still carry a torch for her in my heart) and watching FOX News. I got the impression Kimberly Guilfoyle was giving me the hairy eyeball. Maybe this will FINALLY be my chance at true happiness.

I’ll keep you posted.

I know what you are thinking: How could a good-looking man, who isn’t of retirement age, be watching Wimbledon and the Tour De France AND the Open, and writing sophomoric posts about hot celebrity chicks? Well, listen up, buttercup! By next year you could BE at Wimbledon, center court! Or you could watch the peloton zip by from the courtyard of a French Bed and Breakfast. All you need to do is pay attention!

Matt Jordan is the author of Street Politics: It Ain’t Your Daddy’s GOP Anymore! Unlike Russell, I will not give this to you for free. But you can get it here NOW!

I have to keep a running tally of these things. I have repeatedly made points about politics or spotted a trend that no one else is talking about. Then, within weeks or months, the pundits are practically quoting me word for word. Sometimes it doesn’t take that long.

I wrote a piece yesterday that contradicts the popular line on both sides in reaction to the Alexandria shooting. While people were insisting the Republicans keep their mouths shut and not draw comparisons the Dems usually draw after a shooting,* I was saying the opposite.

As of last night, I was alone in this view. Then O’Reilly goes on Beck’s show this morning and I could swear he had just read my stuff. Maybe he’s a follower, I don’t know. But he launched into a bit about how irresponsible the term “Summer of Resistance” is and even made the same inference as I did about occupied countries in WWII.

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This is wild! I haven’t even gotten my book yet and I already have my second funnel set up. I sent out an email to a small list and got 60 hits. Will they convert? I don’t know. But they went in one end and came out the other. It works! Now it’s just lather, rinse and repeat. The rest will happen!

This is the profit engine at the center of the internet universe!

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I do like being vindicated by the well-known, if not the well-heeled. But it is frustrating to see them sitting back and looking satisfied with their analysis AFTER I had already pointed it out. At least in this case, one of the big names was not far behind. In others, like Krauthammer, saying in March of this year that Trump might not be the deal-maker he claims to be and that he lacks the ability to learn and adjust, was only a year and a half late. Greg Gurfeld has made my I-said-that-first list a few times.

If I keep a record of these things, then maybe people will start to realize that I am much more in tune than many who have become famous for being so. It isn’t about bragging…. No wait, yes it is. It is all about bragging. I love being right. I love saying, “See? See? You didn’t believe ME. But now the little guy and the old loud mouth are saying it. Uh huh! I was right. Hah!”

*In this case the conclusions to be drawn by the Right are accurate. Those drawn by Dems in such situations are wrong almost every time. I site Gabby Giffords, Dallas, the Orlando shooting, etc. In this case we did have a world-class nut bag, likely emboldened by irresponsible rhetoric from the Left.

If you want to see how right a pundit can be, and learn a l’il sum-sum about real politics and how it REALLY works, get this book! If you want politics to be fun again, get this book!

If you want to impress your girlfriend, get this book and say, “It’s like I’ve been saying since 2014…!”, then quote the book like it was your idea. You won’t be the first. But you’ll sound smart. (Of course, if you quote me in writing, citation would be a nice change.)

Big sports events coming up soon. Golf, cycling, tennis. I’ll be watching the tennis opens for sure. Serena Williams is still looking strong. The linguistic root of her name translates to “my next wife”.

You can skip the Usain – whatever his name is – section of this video and get right to the good stuff!

Lyn says she’s not jealous because I’d sooner get struck by lightning while holding the winning Powerball ticket, than to get a second look from Serena. Do you think Serena would mind hat I keep my six-pack in a party ball? Nah! She’d see the inner “me”.

Quick Update on Jeff Kerr and Team “Heroes”

We were recently in Williamsburg visiting my son, Phil and his lovely wife. I’ll have some news to share about them in a bit. While there, we caught up with our friend Jeff Kerr. If you recall, in January I announced that 50% of my proceeds from the second addition of STREET POLITICS are designated to go to Jeff’s Multiple Sclerosis event in June. Jeff not only volunteers tirelessly for folks who suffer from MS, he is battling the disease himself! And I’ll be honest, I don’t know where he finds the time to do it all.

Dinner with Jeff and Shannon. Jeff was going on night shift immediately after. I told him I’d tone down my own bad-assedness so as not to upstage him. I hope I succeeded.

We’re off to a sputtering start on fund raising, but we’re moving anyway. And with the book biz being what it is; slow reporting and such, June is about 10 minutes away!

So if you haven’t grabbed your copy of STREET POLITICS, you can do so here, right now. I’ve intentionally priced it well below the political market niche. If you have gotten your copy, you’re awesome and we love you for it! But please share this post on all your social media sites. I am an indie writer. YOU are all the market Jeff and I have.

If you want to know about the book, go to the end of this previous post. You’ll find that STREET POLITICS has conservative underpinnings, but it’s written so ANYONE can enjoy it and benefit from the message.

As for Jeff, he just got back from Florida, where he drove alone from Virginia, to participate in a Police Unity Tour event supporting widows and children of fallen officers – all in one weekend! The man never stops. And he spends so much time doing for others.

It was great to see him, his wife Shannon and their daughters twice over dinner this month. We did some catching up and I started to get the bike burn again. I think if we get back to Virginia, I may prepare to ride my 38 lb, recumbent, clown bike (it’s actually a trike) in the 2018 MS event. We’ll see. I’ll keep you posted on that. I have to drop a few inches of belly to do it.

This is the only known image of your host on the clown bike. I know what your thinking: “Women love me. Men want to BE me.” I’m just a tad wider now. But I’m still incredibly sexy!

The Other News!

Phil and his sweet wife, Ange…well…they are soon to be parents! Of twins! We couldn’t be more excited. I can tell you, as a grandparent, it never gets old. With every grandchild born, we get just as excited as the last.

We love these pictures! And the people in them.

My wife, Lyn is beside herself. She wants to see those babies NOW! I had to give her a quick review of the gestation process to calm her down. These will be grandbabies number 7 and 8 for us. With four sons, our daughters-in-law and all the cookie snatchers, the birthday calendar is getting a bit crowded. But I’m not complaining. It’s a good problem to have.

(I suppose I’ll have to use the term cookie snatchers more advisedly now. Caity is as tall as her grandma and Liam is driving!)

Bravely into the cold!

While we were on the east coast, we got to watch Matt IV, Ken and Pat do the Polar Plunge in Sea Isle, NJ. But it wasn’t very polar. It was about 50 degrees on the beach. But the water was cold!

As you can see, this Polar Plunge is serious business. One should approach it with dignity and respect.

It was quite a sight; a mass of people as far as the eye could see in both directions all running toward the ocean. Then they all ran even faster back onto the beach.

Another milestone:

I don’t need a lot of reminders that I am getting older. The other day I trimmed my nose and ear hair. The sink looked like I’d given myself a crew cut. Sigh.

But that reality didn’t dampen my pride and happiness at seeing my oldest son, Matt, turn 40. 40! I can’t explain how short the time seems from when he took some of his first steps outside our house on NAS Barbers Point, Hawaii. The little guy in a onesie and the baggy diaper has already completed two tours in the Army before moving on to a technical design career, now with PECO.

We celebrated his birthday at Chickie’s and Pete’s at the Parx Casino in North Philadelphia, while watching his beloved Flyers on big screens. That was a neat party. Thanks, Becky.

Matt’s 40th. Excellent party!

Never Enough Time

We also got to spend some time with the rest of the grandkids. Kenny’s kids are growing so fast. Pat’s have learned to scream at 140 db as a form of communication. They seem to find it entertaining. But they are all incredibly sweet. At least when Pop Pop and Nana are around.

So that’s the latest from the House of Jordan. I like to do these fun posts once in a while. I can’t be serious all the time. Actually, serious is not my primary nature.

Please keep in touch and please — remember to help me help Jeff help himself and others!

It’s one thing to use strong language. But if your words are to leave you sounding intelligent, instructive or even worth listening to, you MUST have a real point. You must be able to back your words with citation or reason.

If you can’t, you will legitimately be dismissed by the reader as being as ignorant and useless as Maxine Waters. And who wants that label?

So next time you want to toss words like fascist or lib-tard or scumbags around, think twice and develop an argument instead. That will inspire respect, even from those who disagree with you.

Click on the book to support Jeff and have some fun. Here is where we get a chance to take a breath and reinvigorate our civic pride.

Look at this nasty face bad ass! How would you like to see this guy cry. I mean blubber like a baby? Yeah, me too.

This is my friend Jeff Kerr. Whenever I see him, there’s a lot of goofing and cutting up. But if he ever stopped me and approached my truck in that Smokey Bear hat, I have to say I wouldn’t be making jokes. I’d be all, “yes sir” and “no sir”.

But don’t let the picture fool you. Beneath that iron jaw beats the heart of a real mush ball. And that’s where we’ve got him. [Insert evil laughter here.] I plan to donate 50% of my proceeds to his cause.

Jeff is a rock solid cop. He is a great husband, a devoted father and he’s active in his community. He’s the kind of guy anyone would want their kid to emulate.

Lt. Jeff inspiring kids.

Jeff is also a bicycle fanatic. He rides several times a week from early spring to late fall. And we’re not talking wimpy rides like most people do. We’re not talking about gently coasting along a beach road. No, these are real rides. Real workouts.

He does the annual Police Unity Tour from Portsmouth, VA to Washington DC in honor of officers who have died in the line of duty and to support their families. That is not a ride for the faint-hearted.

He and his beautiful wife, Shannon are raising their kids to be champions as well. They are actively involved in youth sports and Jeff is a great example for them.

This guy seems to have something going every day. He never stops. Like I said, he’s a bad ass.

But then, he has to be…

Jeff Kerr has to move every day. He has to be in peak condition and work his ass off in order to keep fighting. Jeff has Multiple Sclerosis.

Most of us have heard of MS, but not all of us are familiar with what it does to people. From the time you learn you have it, you are locked in a constant battle with a disease bent on wrecking your body and someday taking your life.

I was teasing Jeff about this picture on FB, telling him this was where he got his bad ass juice. But, sadly, this treatment is a routine part of his life now.

I met Jeff when he took part in my son’s wedding several years ago. Shortly thereafter, I rode with him in my first MS 150 event on the Eastern Shore. Multiple Sclerosis events are another of his passions, understandably. He is the captain of team Heroes Live Forever.

It was on this ride I found out what a bad ass he really is. I say I rode with him, but that only lasted the first 200 yards or so. Each day of the event, I wouldn’t see him again until I got to the finish line. He’d be showered and rested by the time I rolled in. It was kind of embarrassing.

I enjoyed those rides and always enjoyed hanging out with my son, Phil and Jeff. But I moved from Virginia and except for what they call a ghost ride, I haven’t really been on a real MS ride since. I haven’t seen Jeff in a while.

Recently I found myself wondering how I might get involved with the ride again, or at least how I might support it. It seemed lame to just send the team a small check. I used to raise $1200 dollars or more per event.

But as I neared the release of a new edition of my book, I got an idea. I had an excellent instrument to expose my work and help Jeff. That’s where you come into Jeff’s story.

I’ve decided to contribute 50% of all author proceeds of my book to Team Heroes Live Forever. In June 2017, the team will be riding 150 miles in the Colonial Crossroads event in Virginia.

It was originally intended to be just the Kindle proceeds, but I thought, well, go big or stay home, right? So it will include 50% of all sales, paper and electronic, from any outlet. I hope to hand Jeff a big, fat check from all of us.

The book is brash, funny, informative and prophetic. I even make jokes in the end notes. But after the circus we had last year, getting people to read about politics without an incentive is like pulling teeth. I’ll post a description below. And if your local bookstore isn’t carrying it, give them the what-for! Go all postal on them.

If we are successful, if I can move a lot of books, Jeff won’t be able to play this one off with a smart-ass line. That bad ass Lieutenant in the York-Poquoson Sheriff’s Department, will be blubbering. Hah!

I have two simple goals here. One is to support Jeff’s team in their stalwart fight against MS and the other is to sell books. But the real goal is to be a part of that day when Jeff calls my son and says, “Guess what dude! They found the cure. I won’t have to put up with this shit any more.”

I’ll provide a link for you to make a straight donation to the team if you’d rather not buy the book.

(But…no wait…you wouldn’t really do that…would you?)

And I won’t put up a progress chart here. I’ll keep you informed by email so Jeff won’t see what we’ve done until the night of the event.

Click on the book to support Jeff and have some fun. Here is where we get a chance to take a breath and reinvigorate our civic pride.

Street Politics: It Ain’t Your Daddy’s GOP Anymore!

If there were no Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders, Jordan would have invented them; or perhaps better versions of them.

Over a year has passed since the release of 16 20 24: A Path to Consistent Conservative Victory. As you read this book, you’ll be thumping your forehead and talking to yourself. “That’s true! I remember that!” Or, “Damn! Why didn’t my candidate do that? He/She would be the nominee right now!” Or maybe, “Everything Jordan said more than a year ago the ‘experts’ are just saying now!”

In this updated rework of 16 20 24, the author presents a timeless prescription for the modern political campaign. Any politician who follows it, will get traction, build name recognition and control the news cycle. Trump and Sanders stand as stark proof of that claim. Any voter that follows it will demand better politicians. Using this book and associated writings at www.streetpolitics.us, a roadmap to ongoing success can be found for anyone, of any party, seeking future election. It is a must-read for people wanting to be a part of a healthier America. That’s anyone of any party. You can disagree with me philosophically, but the process remains the same.

Jordan remains true to the original message here. The only changes are the title, forward, the updated conclusions. The book remains a primer for a much deeper look at what America is. In later works Matt Jordan will boldly demonstrate how conservatism can flourish in our society, brightly and without rancor. That’s not to say anything here is sugarcoated. The author is unapologetically brash in his appraisal of the existing (dying?) political zoo.

Here and now, in this book, we have the invaluable lessons we continue to learn as this election unfolds. These lessons will be the historical bedrock upon which we can build better towns, states and a nation…IF anyone is paying attention.

The 100 Centimeter Dash! From the Shelf to the Button.

Have you seen this Dash thing?

I just don’t know what to make of this affiliate link. Now, truth be told, I am a very low tech guy. (I’ve been working for weeks to make Street Politics a membership site. ANY of my LEAST techy friends would have had that up and running in December with about 1/2 hour’s worth of work. I needed a 2-hour tutorial video. Anyway it will be up in March.)

Still, I knew we’d see things like these buttons some day. But now it is really here!

And the ramifications are mind-blowing.

I can use this!

Look at the first item in the illustration above. Iams. My dog eats the stuff by the metric ton! I hate humping those big bags from the supermarket. I could stick a Dash thingy to the wall in my mudroom and *doink* in a day or two, Maggie has a new bag of food.

The button runs on batteries. But no biggee. Three years from now, when the watch battery in it runs down, I go into my junk drawer and push the button that says batteries and that’s fixed. Damn!

I have been planning a post on the “internet of everything” for a while. This is just a minuscule portion of the radical shifts we are going to see very soon. We are, in many ways, moving beyond some of the freakiest stuff ever imagined in Sci-fi movies.

If you are under 25 I feel a bit sorry for you. To you, these kinds of developments probably run between “cool” and “meh”. But if you lived in a time when a four-pack assortment of Styrofoam gliders was an impressive toy, and Atari was mind-blowing, today’s technology can be overwhelming. And I worked on missile systems in the early 90’s!!!!!

In fact, my MK-26 launcher (the coolest weapons system ever built), with it’s two racks of circuit cards had more computing power than the Apollo 11 Command Module. My cell phone has more power than those two systems – COMBINED! And now we have these buttons. Geeks and young people have no idea how much this freaks me out.

So okay, call me a Luddite. I’ll own it. And it’s not a bad thing. But our lives are changing at such an amazing rate.

A Slightly Bigger Picture

I recently read a Motley Fool sales letter talking about the “internet of everything”. We are a hair’s breadth away from a time when our cell phones, with near-zero preparation on our parts, will tell us that our car is being stolen and will be sending the thief’s face recognition data to the police station before we can dial 911.

All the chatter, these days, is about bringing back manufacturing jobs to the U.S. That’ll be great. But the possibilities coming with this technology, will make the manufacturing jobs little more than icing on the cake.

If you doubt that, look at Wawa stores. They added automated ordering to their deli. That didn’t result in fewer people working in the stores. More had to be hired to keep up with the demand. That is what happens when you have high quality service and cutting-edge innovation.

I’m going to get a couple of these buttons. One for the Pop Tarts my doc says I’m not allowed to eat, and one for Maggie’s 2-ton bag o’food. Let the FedEx guy test his Workman’s Comp benefits.

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