Ranking the Star Trek movies: Top to bottom

Did you catch Star Trek: Into the Woods, or whatever it's called, over the weekend? Sadly, I missed it. I was unpacking boxloads of Tribbles as I moved from Orlando to the nearby 'burg of Longwood. I moved into a house built in 1985, and it clearly hasn't been updated since that year. Could anything be more perfect?

At least one website had their head in the game and provided us this interesting, if slightly deranged, ranking of the best Star Trek movies of all time. And I'm happy to say the '80s fared better than expected.

Screencrush's list has fondness for Star Trek III that frankly is not logical, but otherwise, I'd largely agree with it. Go here for the full rationale of their ranking. I'm only going to give away their top six here.

1. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan: "Out of all the classic 'Trek' films, it's the only one that stands alone as a great movie. You don't need to have seen the original series."

2. Star Trek: "It's easy to the list the problems with JJ Abrams' 2009 reboot of the 'Star Trek' franchise. It's dumb, it's full of plot holes, nothing makes sense, etc. However, Abrams is a magician -- he makes sure you don't see any of these problems until much, much later."

3. Star Trek III: The Search For Spock: "Have you seen 'Star Trek III: The Search For Spock' recently? It's bonkers. There is literally no 'Star Trek' movie quite like it and there probably won't be for some time."

4. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home: "Imagine the pitch: 'It's about the crew of the Enterprise going back in time to bring a few extinct-in-the-future Humpback Whales to the 23rd century so they can help prevent an alien force from destroying the world. Oh, and it's a comedy!' "

5. Star Trek Into Darkness: "How does this film work? The screenplay isn't just bad -- it's broken. On top of that, it openly and defiantly demands to be directly compared to the number one film on this list, which is simply a fool's errand."

6. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country: "The film isn't shy about being a metaphor for the collapse of the Soviet Union, but that's the kind social commentary that was common on the show and woefully absent from the films."

About this blog

Relive the '80s music, movies and culture with Tampa Bay Times correspondent Steve Spears. A teen during the greatest decade ever, Steve is obsessed with everything from Duran Duran to Journey, John Hughes to John Cusack, and parachute pants to big hair.